The Write Voice : Using Rich Prompts to Help Student Writing Come Alive [1 ed.] 9781551388281, 9781551382685

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The Write Voice Using rich prompts to help student writing corne alive

Lisa Donohue

Pembroke Publishers Limited

Dedication To the men in my life: Nick, my brother; John, my dad; and Mike, my everything else. © 2011 Pembroke Publishers 538 Hood Road Markham, Ontario, Canada L3R 3K9 www.pembrokepublishers.com Distributed in the U.S. by Stenhouse Publishers 480 Congress Street Portland, ME 04101 www.stenhouse.com All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, scanning, recording, or any information, storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Excerpts from this publication may be reproduced under licence from Access Copyright, or with the express written permission of Pembroke Publishers Limited, or as permitted by law. Every effort has been made to contact copyright holders for permission to reproduce borrowed material. The publishers apologize for any such omissions and will be pleased to rectify them in subsequent reprints of the book. We acknowledge the financial support of the Government of Canada through the Book Publishing Industry Development Program (BPIDP) for our publishing activities. We acknowledge the assistance of the Government of Ontario through the Ontario Media Development Corporation’s Ontario Book Initiative. Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication Donohue, Lisa   The write voice : using rich prompts to help student writing come alive / Lisa Donohue. Includes bibliographical references and index. Issued also in electronic format. ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5 1. Composition (Language arts)—Study and teaching (Elementary). 2. Written communication—Study and teaching (Elementary). 3. English language— Composition and exercises–Study and teaching (Elementary). I. Title. LB1576.D665 2011 372.62’3044 C2011-904787-X eBook format ISBN 978-1-55138-828-1 Editor:  Kat Mototsune Cover Design:  John Zehethofer Typesetting:  Jay Tee Graphics Ltd. Printed and bound in Canada 987654321

Contents Introduction 5 Acknowledgments  6 Chapter 1: Can You Hear My Voice? 7 What Is Voice? 7 From “Hearing” Voice to Teaching Voice 8 Real Kids...Real Voice 9 Chapter 2: Voice-Building Strategies 13 Write Like a Reader 13 A Writer Implies, A Reader Infers 14 A Writer Describes, A Reader Visualizes 16 Voice-Building Strategies  17 Getting Started Is the Hardest Part 18 Finding Inspiration in the Little Things 19 Prompting Inspiration 21 What Are Rich Prompts? 21 Introducing Rich Prompts 21 When Do They Finish What They Start? 23 Starting with Stories 24 Chapter 3: Emotional Cues 27 Voice-Building Activities 28 Chart Your Emotions 28 Guess How I Feel? 29 Makin’ Me Emotional 29 Rich Prompts for Emotional Cues 31 Chapter 4: Sensory Statements 39 Voice-Building Activities 39 Setting the Stage 40 Get “Organized” 41 Rich Prompts for Sensory Statements 42 Chapter 5: Wordsmithing 51 Voice-Building Activities 52 Folding Sentences 52 Voice Speaks Volumes 53 Rich Prompts for Wordsmithing 54

Chapter 6: Perspective 60 Voice-Building Activities 61 Writing in Role 61 Keepin’ It Consistent 62 Rich Prompts for Perspective 62 Chapter 7: Character Development 69 Voice-Building Activity 69 Yo Momma Said... 69 Rich Prompts for Character Development 71 Chapter 8: Personalization 76 Voice-Building Activities 77 Who Said That? 77 My Personal Mentor 79 Rich Prompts for Personalization 79 Chapter 9: Style 84 When Conventions Silence Voice 84 Style: More than Conventions 85 Voice-Building Activities 88 What I Meant to Say Was… 88 Focus Shifters 88 From Flat to Fabulous 89 Rich Prompts for Style 90 Chapter 10: Voice in Minutes a Day 98 Backward and Upside-Down Lesson Design 99 Building Voice in Just Minutes a Day 100 The Voice of A Mentor 102 Clear Learning Goals and Success Criteria  103 Inspiration  106 Peer and Teacher Feedback 107 Accountable Talk 108 Goal-Setting 110 Results of Minutes a Day 111 Assessment 115 Resources 122 Index 123

Introduction

Since my mother’s passing, one of my most precious possessions remains a series of letters she had written to my children over the years. The reason they are so special to me is that they are filled with her voice, that little piece of her that lives on in my mind every time I read her words. I can envision her laughing out loud, giggling with fascination, or bursting with pride as she describes special things she wanted my children to remember. Through her writing, I’m able to still hear her voice—her unique way with words, her special style, and even traces of an accent from a time long ago. Her letters make me smile, make me cry, make me react. There is a part of her behind her words. They are filled with her voice. I’ve often been told that my writing is full of voice. If we were to meet one day, you’d probably think that I sound a lot like my books, and, in fact, I’ve often been told that. I write the way I talk. That means that my writing voice is very consistent with my speaking voice. When I write, I imagine that we’re having a conversation. I imagine you reading these words and thinking about how you could try some of these ideas with your students. I often find myself writing or reading passages out loud to make sure that the writing “sounds” the way I want it to. I read sections of text to willing bystanders—and occasionally to unwilling bystanders. It helps me hear the way my writing sounds. I catch the flow of the words, the nuances in the pauses, the all-too-frequent use of repetition, and the all-too-frequent use of repetition. But that’s my voice. It’s the part of my writing that makes it distinctly mine. It is a reflection of me through my words. By reading my writing, you get an idea of who I am. You can detect my personality, my sense of humor, and my passion for teaching and learning. You gain an insight into my classroom and the journeys of some of my students. I am a real person, with successes, challenges, and failures. This makes me who I am, and you can probably relate to that through my voice as a writer. Voice is something that students develop in their writing as they find their own style as a writer. We can foster students’ writing voices by helping them to develop a toolkit of strategies that they can use when they approach writing tasks. Teaching students to write with voice is not like teaching students a specific form of writing. There is no recipe or procedure. There is no right way for students to write with voice. Voice is the unique flavor that each writer brings to his or her work. We can help students identify and strengthen writing voice by providing them with rich engaging tasks, encouraging them to recognize and appreciate the voice in the writing of others, and having them frequently share their writing to receive feedback and set new personal writing goals. This book introduces students to seven voice-building strategies: emotional cues, sensory statements, wordsmithing, perspective, character development,  5

personalization, and style. A range of activities is provided that allow students to explore each of these seven strategies and that help you support students in building their own voice. Finally, a fundamental component of writing with voice is inspiration. While inspiration is difficult to teach, it can be fostered through rich prompts and engaging writing tasks. As a toolkit of voice-building strategies, inspirational writing prompts, and suggestions for classroom routines, The Write Voice shows how these elements work together to help create a community of writers who write with passion, purpose, and voice.

Acknowledgments Throughout this book, I refer frequently to the importance of inspiration. I would like to thank the following people, whose presence in my life has provided me with the source of inspiration for this book. First and foremost, a huge thank-you to my 2010–11 class! Your stories, ideas, and successes are the reason this book was written. Your willingness to embrace writing, your passion for sharing, and your commitment to collaboration are skills that any teacher would be fortunate to be a part of. The research portion of writing this book was like none other. A huge shoutout to my Twitter PLN. Thanks for responding to my questions, thoughts, and inquiries. Your contributions helped to shape my thinking and, ultimately, the manuscript. Special thanks to my amazing, flexible principal, Michael Cohen, who allows me to “make waves” and supports me in all of my creative efforts. To Nikki Town and Pamela Perreira: thanks for starting this writing journey in our school and allowing me to adapt it into The Write Voice. Melissa Forero, Peter Jenkins, and Arthur Birenbaum, I appreciate your willingness to share your students’ stories with me and to join me on the journey of learning. Thanks, Farhana Panju, for your constant cheerleading, innovative ideas, and eagerness to share and learn with me; you truly are the president of the LDFC! Thanks to Mary Macchiusi for continuing to look for just the right seed of inspiration for this book, and to Kat Mototsune for making the writing process as enjoyable as ever! Thanks for your flexibility and vision. The wonderful cover models: Matthew, Indigo, and Sebastian. Thanks for a fun-filled afternoon, a great cover image, and a lot of laughs with a really, really worn-out joke! Finally, thanks to my family—who are quite used to the fact that every spring I disappear into my office and don’t emerge until I have produced an initial manuscript. Thanks for sharing the writing journey with me and allowing me to share a little bit of myself with the world.

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1

Can You Hear My Voice?

What Is Voice?

“Voice is the sum of all the strategies used by the author to create the illusion that the writer is speaking directly to the reader from the page.” —Don Fry (in Clark, 2006)

When we talk about “voice,” we mean the personality that writing takes on. When writing has voice, readers are able to gain an insight into the author’s thoughts. We are able to hear the author reading, talking, sharing his or her words with us. The writing seems to come alive in our minds. When a piece of writing has voice, it is able to share a mood, create a mental image, or stir up an emotional response within the reader. It allows readers to connect with the text, to feel like they are a part of a conversation—as if the author were speaking directly to them. Ruth Culham (2003) defines voice as “the golden thread that runs through a piece of writing. It is how the reader knows it is really you speaking.” She describes voice in this way: [Voice is] the writer’s music coming out through the words, the sense that a real person is speaking to you and cares about the message. It is the heart and soul of the writing, the magic, the wit, the feeling, the life and breath. It is flashes of spirit.

Two Grade 8 students were assigned the task of preparing and presenting a script for hosting a school concert. At one point, David decided to take a break from writing and let his partner, Hannah, finish up. Later, when they were practicing reading their script, one of the supervising teachers noticed that their dialogue seemed odd and asked, “Is that the voice you’re going to use?” To which David replied, “No, that’s Hannah’s voice, but I’ll read it anyway.” Voice is one of the most intangible elements of writing. Teaching students to write with voice is not like teaching students to use periods and capitals or to group sentences into paragraphs. Those skills are quite mechanical and their results clearly visible. Voice is the hidden element of writing that allows words to come alive. It is the part of writing that gives it personality. It is what changes words on a page into meaningful phrases that conjure up mental images. Culham (2003) describes voice as “the way the writing draws the reader in and creates a bond between reader and writer.” Voice is the passion and conviction that an author uses to connect with the audience through words. It is the way a piece of writing is compelling and engaging. When a piece of writing has strong voice, a reader is able to connect with the author by sensing who the author is behind his or her words. Voice creates the tone of a piece, and reflects the writer’s passion for the topic. It is, indeed, “the heart and soul” of the writing. Voice is also the author’s awareness of context. Writers recognize that they need different voices for different purposes, forms, or audiences. The context of  7

As students strengthen their writing voices through a range of strategies, they’ll begin to find ways of adapting voice to suit the requirement of different tasks. They can use the tools they need to do the job, taking into account the form, audience, and context.

the writing will have particular impact on the content and style. For example, you would write a note to your spouse differently from an e-mail to your boss and, similarly, you would write a report differently from a narrative. A piece of writing that requires a formal voice would have a very different feel from a piece with a casual voice. Likewise, writers can use voice to change the mood of their writing, from humorous to sad or from suspenseful to inspirational.

From “Hearing” Voice to Teaching Voice You can’t teach voice, you either have it or you don’t. This is a common sentiment we’ve probably all heard, or perhaps even caught ourselves saying. While it may be true that some students naturally show more voice in their writing than others, there are explicit strategies we can teach students to include in their writing that will help them build their voice. We can help them recognize voice in the writing of others and experiment with their writing to find their own voice. In order to teach voice, as teachers, we must first be able to recognize it ourselves. Sometimes we are inexplicably drawn to a piece of writing, but find its appeal difficult to explain by citing its tangible qualities. We know we like it, we just don’t know why. But in order to truly understand voice, we need to deconstruct writing, isolating elements that attract us to certain pieces of writing more than others. It’s the “why we like it” that defines the voice of the piece. Why do you connect with this piece of writing more than another? What is it about this piece of writing that brings about an emotional response in the reader? Do you feel like you have a better understanding of the author? Were you able to create mental images as you were reading? Did the writing make you laugh out loud, burst into tears, or feel the need to call someone and tell them, “I love you”? When we begin to define more clearly the elements of writing that allow us to hear the author’s personality coming through, we are able to identify the elements that make up the voice of the piece. When we understand the parts of writing that create its voice, then we’re able to explicitly teach students to use these elements in their own writing. Although it’s true that some students naturally show more voice in their writing than others, it is possible for all students to learn and use strategies that will allow them to strengthen their writing voice. Once we help students identify strategies they can use to strengthen their voice, they can try them out in their own writing. These voice-building strategies should not be used as a checklist of requirements, but rather as a toolkit of tricks that students can rely on to enrich their own writing. When we provide our students with all of the tools, they can then use them in innovative and creative ways. The voice-building strategies can be introduced to students in a variety of ways. Teachers can use mentor texts and authentic student writing as a way of showing voice in action. They can play games and use collaborative activities to strengthen students’ awareness of these strategies. But the most effective way of building voice in students’ writing is by providing them with rich, engaging tasks; identifying an authentic audience; and giving them frequent opportunities to write, share, receive feedback, and set personal goals. Voice is the personal touch that makes each writer’s style unique. While some writers naturally develop a special flair in their writing, there are many whose writing is flat. If we explicitly teach students how to add voice to their writing, they will begin to develop their own style and find a voice that is uniquely their 8  

own. When we help our students explore these strategies through their writing, their voice will come shining through.

Real Kids...Real Voice Do you still have lingering doubts that you can’t teach voice? While it’s clear that some kids innately have stronger writing voices than others, there is no doubt in my mind that voice can be taught to all writers. A few years ago, I was teaching a group of Grade 6 students. As a regular part of my instruction, I had students focus on the importance of building voice in their writing. I was constantly pushing them to try new words, include emotional cues, and—more than anything else—“write like an author.” A few years later, Arthur Birenbaum, a colleague and friend of mine, visited this same group of students. He was leading them through a community-building activity that involved writing. By that time, these students were in Grade 8 and leaders in their school, and were writing a touchstone—a creed of agreements that would guide the entire school in choices, behaviors, and interactions. Arthur paused to remark out loud: “I’m really impressed by how carefully you are choosing your words.” To which one of my former students replied without hesitation, “It’s important to always write like an author. Our Grade 6 teacher taught us that.” Hurrah! It’s amazing to hear that the seeds that were planted years earlier had continued to grow and thrive in these young writers. Writers writing with voice! They knew what voice sounded like, they knew it was important, and they knew how to build it with their own words. Explicitly teaching students to recognize their own writing voice, nurturing and fostering it using simple strategies, will ensure that everyone can “write like an author.” Recently, I was thumbing through my students’ writing books. Doodled across the cover of one of the books was “I rock at writing! See for yourself...” I smiled to myself and thought that this was possibly the best student self-reflection a teacher could ever hope for. It was true that this student was an extremely competent writer, she had a clear sense of herself, and her voice shone through in every writing task. But I could also tell from that reflection that she knew that her voice was authentic. She knew that her words were able to affect others and that her writing was unique to her. Her writing exuded confidence, and her brief reflection certainly captured that feeling. From the student samples I present here, we can clearly see that the writers have applied the strategies to build voice in their writing. The samples show how the students have learned to include emotional cues, sensory statements, and creative wordsmithing. Each student’s personality is clearly visible through the words, and they are using conventions to add style and flair to their writing. In some cases, the changes are so dramatic that it is difficult to believe that it is the same student—only a few months later. Writing sample by Frankie, age 10 Before

I would see a gost, I would feel so hurt, burning wind, what’s going on. I would be very scared/worried. I would want to go home. I would be tarifid. Also disy.

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After

Writing sample by Marcus, age 10 Before

The wooden raven glimmered as the night grew colder and darker. I started to see a red sparkling light in the distance. Then as I started to run I noticed that the raven was gone. I started to feel anxious and a bit worried. Then out of the shadows came the raven. The raven leaped towards me. I jumped for safety. Then it jumped towards me again, and it was about to crush every bone in my body. Luckily I moved to the side. I started running. I started to see a glimmering spark. The raven was able to catch on fire and was still chasing me. A little spark of a flame got on my clothes and started to burn into pieces. I knew this would be the end of me, but it wasn’t the end. I survived the pain but that night I felt a pain in my chest. I didn’t feel good in my throat. I felt like I was going to throw up. The pain in my chest made it hard to breath. I felt like [my heart] was skipping beats. I then the pain from my chest spread into my lungs. My lungs started to feel like they were on fire. The police came to the rescue. I was moaning on the damp wet muddy ground... The wind tore at my clothing and the icy wind chilled me to the core. I struggled to my feet knowing that the only way I could survive was to keep moving.

I was so thirsty that I stopped walking and lay on the grass and then I saw my dad and he was puled to jail and I went with him and I also got into jail and we had a plan to get out. Later

The crowd gathered around. The noise intensified as everyone started shouting amongst themselves. The tension in the air was thick and the mob started pushing together, trying to get a better view.

I had to run right away because the noise hurt my ears so much. So that’s how I wanted to run away. The mob wants to get rid of me. A couple of souldjer’s stoped me from running. I’m traped, I slid under their leg’s and they triped. I fell into a hole in the ground. The next day, I was tide up in a cave. Spider’s started to bite me and they were poison.

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After See page 79 for how this writing is a good example of personalization.

Writing sample by Bilal, age 10 Before

Dear….um…. Dearrrr! Ok I didn’t sign up for this because it’s SO hard. Let me start again: Dear whoever I’m writing to. I have a story for you. WAIT, I mean a weird story for you. This weird story I’m telling you, is about me at recess. By the way, my name is Billy. I get lonely at recess and this is how it started out. First I was playing with my friends and then all of the sudden came Ryan Bluck. He elboude [elbowed] my two friends. I had no idea what to do so I just ran away. WAIT, ran away? That’s not what happened. What really happened is that I was fighting Ryan Bluck and he had to go to the hospital because of me, I mean awesome me…. Don’t believe me? Fine. I’ll tell you the truth. I ran away. Allright, I told you the truth. The earth shook under my feet as I heard the ground groan and rumble one final time. The bridge above me creaked and moaned. A small piece of rock fell from above.

As I ran for shelter I could not find any, so I look for any small buildings in the area. So I saw one and it was half way across town with all thease obsticals in my way. I could not get to it in time so I ran. The earth split in half and I relized it is all over. After

The dark sails became visible on the edge of the horizon. There was no doubt that the Spanish galleon was now a pirate ship.

As I saw my crew loading everything on board, gold coins and loot. Then suddenly ten ships came. I knew the smoke of burning wood alerted them. I quickly grabbed a torch and said “Men, all hands on deck.” I tied up the captain, threw my torch and watched it burn slowly as I heard the popping noises it made. I said: “Sail in an eastward direction!” The storm was coming as a great beast. I knew we were doomed.... What brought about the revolutionary change in these young writers? How did their writing go from simple and flat to rich and alive? The key to their success is found in three fundamental classroom approaches. • Students are introduced to a toolkit of voice-building strategies that they can use to enrich their writing. Strategies include emotional cues, sensory statements, creative wordsmithing, perspective, character development,

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personalization, and style. They allow students to bring passion and life to their words. • Writers see the value of being inspired. When young writers find their inspiration, they will write with passion and purpose. Inspiration is often a neglected element in student writing, and yet it is the most important component for all writers. Helping students to find their inspiration allows them to embrace writing. It is through inspiration that writers are able to allow their true voice to be heard. When we are inspired, we are passionate about our ideas, enthusiastic about our writing, and engaged in our craft. • Classroom routines are instrumental to helping students become a collaborative community of writers. They learn how to support each other through accountable talk, provide feedback to one other, and set and monitor personal writing goals. They come to understand the importance of an authentic audience and the value of ongoing conversations about their writing. These three fundamental classroom approaches enable students to utilize a range of strategies to bring their words to life, find their inspiration, and work as a collaborative community of writers. Young authors whose writing was once flat and simple now write with voice and conviction. They have found ways to fill the page with their words, capturing their ideas in powerful ways and sharing their voice with passion.

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2

We can heighten our students’ awareness of the strategies they can use to enhance the voice of their writing. When they use these simple tools, their writing will be filled with their voice.

Voice-Building Strategies

Do you have a favorite author whose words just seem to leap to life from the page? I have to admit that, a few years ago, I was one of the crazed fans who ordered the final book in the Harry Potter series, and then sat and waited in breathless anticipation for it to arrive. When it did, I tore the paper off the cover, crashed on my couch, and did not move until I had turned the final page. I know that there have been countless other times when I have personally abandoned my household responsibilities to get to the end of a chapter or book. I recognize that this level of engagement comes from my connection to the author’s voice through their words. We all have our own unique writing voice in the same way that we all have our own unique speaking voice. We have a way of combining words to reflect our distinct personalities. I have become quite skilled at recognizing each student’s distinct writing voice, in the same way that I can recognize that student’s speaking voice. On more than one occasion, a youngster has been taken aback by my question, “Who helped you write this? Because it just doesn’t sound like you.” After a difficult moment or two, we’re usually able to discover the actual source of the writing as an overzealous older brother, an Internet source, or some other imposter. Once, after reading science research projects, I had a student tell me honestly that it would “take too long to retype it, so I just cut and paste the information.” It was unfortunate for him that I was so familiar with his writing voice that it took only about five words of the first sentence for me to know that it was not his writing. Our voice is like our fingerprint with words. It is unique and special to each of us. If each writer has his or her own way with words, how can we help them to build their voice? How can we give them strategies to make their words more powerful, unique, and alive in the minds of their readers? The answer is simple. When writers know the things that go into creating voice, they are able to apply them to any piece for any purpose. Youngsters begin to build voice by developing an awareness of how to include emotional cues, sensory statements, creative wordsmithing, perspective, character development, personalization, and style. These seven simple strategies can help even the most mechanical writer begin to write with pizzazz and flair.

Write Like a Reader When readers read a text, they use a variety of strategies to interpret and interact with it. Reading is an ongoing conversation between the writer and the reader.  13

Reading strategies include making connections, making inferences, asking questions, visualizing, determining importance, making predictions, and synthesizing.

The work of Harvey and Goudvis (2007) was foundational for many teachers as we began to discover reading comprehension strategies. We know that students need to visualize, question, infer, predict, make connections, determine important information, and synthesize texts in order to deepen their understanding of the content. But if reading, as we know it, is a conversation between the reader and the writer, then the author can intentionally include things in writing that would make it easier for the reader to apply these strategies when interpreting the text. If writers were to think like readers, then they would think of the reading strategies that the audience will use to connect to a text and find ways to integrate them into their writing. Writers need to consider the audience and provide the supports necessary for readers to engage with the text in meaningful ways. If readers are to visualize, then writers must provide sensory statements to support that thinking; if readers are to make connections, then writers can include emotional cues that would allow the reader to sense the mood of the piece or infer the intentions of a character. Students and teachers—as readers—become adept at identifying a range of reading strategies. They engage in a dialogue with the text and, in so doing, have a conversation with the author. Given this connection between reading and writing, our young writers need to think of writing for an audience. They need to be aware that the words they write will be read by another person. Writers need to think like readers, and remember that they are orchestrating the conversation that their audience will have with the text. A Writer Implies, A Reader Infers When we imply something, we allow others to make an inference. In many faceto-face communications in daily life, we drop hints for others, we use our body language to convey a message, and we use tone of voice to express our intent. I think we’ve all been in positions when we’ve used these indirect verbal and nonverbal communications as a way of conveying a message to another person. Whether we’ve given an unsure child a smile to boost confidence before a performance, or shot a disapproving glance to a spouse for considering candy a food group, we have all communicated our messages through silent signals. When we give our audience sufficient clues, they are able to come to a reasonable conclusion about the message we are sending. The same is true for writing. There are times when authors want us to determine certain messages and provide us with sufficient clues to lead us in the right direction without ever explicitly stating it. The genre of writing where this is possibly most evident is in mystery novels. The author creates a web of clues that allows the reader to make inference after inference, conclusion after conclusion, and prediction after prediction. Imagine how boring it would be to read a mystery story if the author was immediately forthcoming with the most relevant information. It would take all of the fun out of it. As savvy readers, we want to look for clues and piece the text-puzzle together in our minds. There is nothing more satisfying to a reader than figuring out the solution to a problem that a character is unable to identify or knowing the outcome of a situation before it unfolds. Remember, reading is an ongoing conversation. That means that, while the reader is making inferences and conclusions, the author has included clues that can lead the reader in that direction.

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When our students begin to understand how the dialogue between the reader and the writer works, they can begin to create clues in their writing that will lead their readers in interpreting the text. Writing sample by Austin, age 10

The wind was howling. The old cabin had survived, but it had thick icicles all over it. The trees in the backyard had been covered by the terrible storm. The blizzard was like a carpet of snow and hail falling out of the sky. Pa said it was too cold to go outside. I already knew that as a fact. In the far north it was severely cold. All the trees were bare with no leaves. Food was scarce. I ran downstairs. I scanned through the cabinets to find something to eat and drink. All I scavenged out was a small bottle of water and some roots that we collected when we ventured through the woods last fall. I was starving. I ate the roots and slurped down the water. As I crept back upstairs I spotted a box. I decided to see what was inside, but my instincts were holding me back. NO, I said to myself. It seemed like a battle between my thoughts and my outer-self. Finally, I decided to go and look. If I just cracked it open a tiny corner, then no one would notice, I thought. Then a strong wind blew at my face. It was getting stronger and stronger, and the stronger it got, it got colder and colder as well. Then it turned from blizzard to freezing rain, freezing rain to hail, hail to ice and ice back to wind. Then, I tried to re-seal the box. But the wind was just too strong. The wind was almost at its peak speed. Just then, as suddenly as it started, I heard nothing. I sealed the box. The front door opened just then. It was Pa. “What did you do with that box?” he asked. “I...uh....uh...” I muttered. Dad went out again. First there was nothing. Then the same sequence occurred. But this time, Pa didn’t return. I had frostbite everywhere. I was bleeding as red as a tomato. What could I do? I thought. In pain, I tried to open the door. Locked. I tried to run back to the box because it may have held some answers, but even before I got there, I dropped on the floor, Dead. And the outside world would soon perish too. I was just lying there, with no one there to help. I lived as I died, a child.

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Just as we teach our students to identify an author’s intent, bias, or stereotypes, we need to encourage them to reflect on their own writing, thinking critically to uncover any underlying messages that they might not have intended.

In the sample, this Grade 4 student has set the stage for his reader to draw their own conclusions. As a writer, he knows that his audience are intelligent, thoughtful readers who will piece together the clues. He knows that if he provides enough information, he will be able to lead his readers in a specific direction and then leave them to come to the conclusion he has orchestrated. He implies that the content of the box is responsible for the entire demise of humanity— but because he presumed that his reader is able to make an inference, he allows them to figure it out on their own. He recognizes that an intelligent reader wants to be challenged and provoked, rather than given all of the information. This student clearly knows how to set the stage for his reader to make inferences. He has provided clear details that lead his reader to the understanding he wishes them to make, and then lets them make it. He is a very skilled writer! He knows how much information is necessary, and he knows how to make his writing even more powerful by knowing what to leave out. Are all inferences intentionally created by writers? Of course not! Authors include things in their writing that they hope the reader will use as clues to interpret the text, and a critical reader will discover things in a text that the author may not have even realized are present. As readers, we encourage our students to read texts with a critical and analytical perspective. We want them to think carefully about the content and analyze the ideas presented. We want them to look for bias and decipher the author’s intent. We want them to use the text to make inferences and figure out the stuff the author doesn’t tell us, always using evidence from the text to support their thinking and prove their interpretations. And then, as writers, they can start to use their understanding of this reciprocal relationship to set the stage for their readers. A Writer Describes, A Reader Visualizes Often teachers describe visualizing as “making pictures in your head.” True visualizing is far more than that. Certainly, it includes making mental images, but it includes the use of the reader’s other senses too. Adrienne Gear (2006) considers visualizing the sister to imagination. Readers can use all their senses to bring the text to life in their mind. They can use their experiences and their creativity to connect to the text through their imagination. For example, a reader might wrinkle his or her nose at the thought of the contents of their father’s hockey bag, recall the crackling of a carpet of leaves while strolling through a dense forest in the fall, or even discover his or her mouth starting to water when reading about a delicious meal. These visualizations rely on all of a reader’s senses working in collaboration with the imagination. Visualizing is best defined as using all of our senses to bring a text to life. If we think of ways we can use our knowledge of reading strategies to interpret texts, then we can also think of better ways for authors to communicate their messages. Since we know that visualizing is a key strategy that readers rely on in order to engage with a text, what can a writer do to better facilitate this? If a writer describes something vividly, then the reader will be better able to visualize it. A writer describes and a reader visualizes. By including sensory statements, a writer is able to provide rich texts that the reader can use to create mental images. When our students include sensory statements in their writing, they provide opportunities for readers to use their imagination to interact with the text.

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Note how the sensory statements included in this writing sample not only increase the voice of the piece, but allow the reader to visualize it. Writing sample by Nathan, age 10

One day I decided to take a walk near the ocean to stare at the marvellous sunset. The strong waves in the ocean seemed to push towards me as if they were telling me “GET OUT OF HERE!!!!”. All of a sudden, these grey clouds appeared out of nowhere and it started to thunder. Lightning ferociously struck the ground and it burned everything on the land. Then the land sunk to the bottom of the ocean. My heart was beating like a feeling I had never felt before. It was like somebody was trying to tell me something. So I started to run but it seemed like the wind was pinning my feet to the ground and it didn’t want me to leave. I screamed but I couldn’t move… While not all reading strategies can be directly linked to writing strategies, young writers can begin to apply their understanding of the relationship between author and audience to inform their writing. If they recognize that they are writing for an authentic audience, they can begin to think of ways to support the ongoing dialogue their reader will have with their text. Through this awareness of their audience, writers discover how and why their writer’s voice is important. It is through this voice that they are able to engage in an authentic dialogue with their audience. Young writers need to know that, through their writing, their voice can be heard and interpreted by others. Their readers can visualize scenes that are vividly described, infer ideas that are only hinted at, and connect with the author through their words.

Voice-Building Strategies

Voice in writing may be difficult to define, but it is easy to recognize and it is essential to teach.

Voice is the element of writing that helps bring it to life. It changes words on a page into deep thoughts and vivid images in the reader’s mind. When writing has voice, it makes it possible for the reader to engage in a conversation with the writer, because reader and writer are able to communicate through the voice of the piece. Voice expresses emotions and creates mental images. It is enhanced through creative word choices, consistent perspective, and an awareness of the audience. Through voice, the author is able to show a distinct personality and style. How can we explicitly teach students to include something so intangible in their writing? We know when it is there, and that it is essential to bring the writing to life, and yet it is at times difficult to define. When writing comes alive, it is because the author’s voice is resonating through their words. The following strategies enable students to experiment with words, explore different approaches, and ultimately find their own writing voice.

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E m oti o n al C u es

When authors include emotional cues, they help the reader know how to react to the text. Authors can use emotional connections to build the mood of the piece. S e n s o ry S tateme n ts

Authors use the five senses to help the reader create mental images. Sensory statements provide readers with the information they need so they can visualize the author’s ideas. W o rdsmithi n g

When an author is a wordsmith, he or she has a rich vocabulary and is an expert with words. Such an author take risks with words, and experiments with the way words sound together and the effect they have on the reader. P erspective

Authors understand that the person telling the story is as important as the story itself. When the perspective changes, the story might change, as the reader is able to gain different insights into the events, opinions, and actions of various characters. C haracter D evelo pme n t

Authors can set the stage for action by creating interesting characters. This can be strengthened through dialogue. When characters have a voice of their own, their personality can be heard through their words. P ers o n ali z ati o n

Authors need to make their writing reflect their own personalities and sound as unique as they are. When writing has personality, the author’s passion and ­creativity shines through and the writing reflects that author’s individuality. S tyle

Authors can use elements of style to give their writing flair! Conventions and presentation can influence the way the author communicates his or her ideas. When used effectively, style can strengthen the message; when style is weak or lacking, it detracts from it. These voice-building strategies serve as a toolkit of tricks that students can use to bring their writing to life.

Getting Started Is the Hardest Part I remember being a child, opening a brand new notebook, staring with wonder at the untouched paper, its lines perfectly unblemished. The crisp smell of fresh white paper was full of endless possibilities—so beautiful, and yet so daunting. I stared at the page. It taunted me with its perfect emptiness. Ah, a blank page, a young writer’s worst nightmare. I remember looking for inspiration. What does inspiration look like when you’re ten years old? Where does one look? How would you recognize it when you’ve found it? “Write about your summer vacation.” That was my starting point. Every September started the same way—full of excitement, full of new friends, and full of 18  

the horrible foreboding that someone would ask me to write about my summer vacation. I sat hopelessly, trying to recall the events of the summer. My mind was numb. I couldn’t even remember what I had done yesterday, let alone for the past two months. Finally, willing to admit defeat, I confessed, “I don’t know what to write about.” The blank page had won! Inspiration was nowhere to be found. “Well, what did you do all summer? You must have something interesting to write about,” challenged the teacher. Nope, nothing at all. Does playing in the sprinkler count? Making forts in the basement with my neighbors? How about riding the town bus with my mom? These were not inspiring, or inspirational. I was uninspired. The monotony of two long months playing at home was not the stuff writing was made of. “Just tell me about yourself. What do you like to do? Do you play any sports? Do you have a hobby?” Nope, still not inspired. The clock ticked, the blank page teased, the teacher’s smile faded. “What do you want me to know about you?” the teacher tried one final time. Even she was losing her inspiration. Sighing, I picked up a pencil and began to write the same boring recount of my monotonous life that I had written the September before, and possibly every September before that. The teacher smiled, and I felt defeated. I knew that I needed to be inspired to write, I just had no idea what that meant, or how to find it. What does inspiration look like? Inspiration is the explosion in our mind that starts our creativity flowing. When an artist, songwriter, or author finds inspiration, that creator is compelled to find a way of expressing it. Inspiration sets our minds on fire and sends our thoughts in a thousand different directions at once. Harnessing the power of this creative energy is the stuff good writing is made of. Inspiration is the vehicle through which a writer’s voice is heard. It’s the jumpingoff point that frees our minds to have creative licence with our thoughts. It’s the most important aspect to writing, and yet so often the most neglected. How can we help our students find inspiration? How can we get their creative juices flowing? How can we help them build their writer’s voice? How can we help them overcome the fear of the blank page? Getting started is the hardest part! Finding Inspiration in the Little Things Writing is often inspired by the little things. The other day, my son’s teacher shared a comment my son had made during a science lesson. His off-the-cuff statement about dandelions spurred a thought-provoking comparison that I was just compelled to write. Here it is:

Dandelion Wishes and Shooting Star Dreams My nine-year old son is learning about plants in science. His classmates started a conversation about dandelions and their fluffy white tops. His teacher asked the students to think about why dandelions were like that. My son was confident that he knew the answer with certainty. Raising his hand, he eagerly  19

told his class why dandelions had these fluffy white balls: “They’re for making wishes on!” You see, since my son was three-years-old, every time he blew a dandelion, saw the first star of the night, or wished on a birthday candle, he made the same wish…“I wish I could have a dog.” Oh he knows that dandelions spread their seeds on the wind, and that by blowing them he is spreading the seeds and helping the plants to grow. But for him, dandelions have a more profound purpose—dandelions make wishes come true. After six long years of blowing on dandelions, his wish finally came true. His puppy was going to arrive that weekend. Isn’t it wonderful when the logic of science is measured with the magic of childhood?

“This is how I write. I take a moment—an image, a memory, a phrase, an idea—and hold it in my hands and declare it a treasure.” —Lucy Calkins (1994)

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As a writer, I am fascinated by the little things in life. In her book The Art of Teaching Writing, Lucy Calkins reminds us that writing is about taking something that has not yet found its significance and finding its meaning. She says, “Writing allows us to turn chaos into something beautiful, to frame selected moments, to uncover and celebrate the organizing patterns of our existence.” (Calkins, 1994) Writers are able to take ordinary everyday occurrences and craft them into significant, meaningful events. We want our students to begin to find the treasures in the everyday. We want their lives to be the source of inspiration for their writing. This is the end goal. However, too frequently students are intimidated by the blank page. There are times when inspiration fails even the most experienced writer—hence the term writer’s block. This is a real obstacle for students to overcome. If we want them to build their stamina by writing on a regular basis, we need to scaffold their writing experiences by providing opportunities for them to find inspiration. We plant the seeds of inspiration that they can nurture and allow to blossom. Too frequently we expect students to write brilliantly about things that do not inspire them. However, if we provide students with choice and ideas full of potential and full of inspiration, they are more likely to jump right in without being intimidated by the blank page. Within very little time, they will be finding their own inspiration, and the little things in life will become treasures for them to cultivate into writing that is filled with their voice. For a very long time, I underestimated the importance of inspiration when asking students to write. I took for granted that if I set the context for writing and ensured that students understood the parameters and requirements of the task, then they would be successful. While I still believe that it’s imperative for students to understand the important elements to include in all writing forms and tasks, I also value the importance of helping students develop a passion for writing. Writing has many purposes: we write to share, reflect, instruct, persuade— and sometimes just because there is a story bursting inside that needs to get out. We want our students to value writing in all its forms and purposes, but we also need to provide a classroom where writing is a joy, a place where students can explore and try things out, create worlds of fantasy, and live lives they can only

dream about. They need to see writing as a grand adventure, a place where words leap to life—words that are carefully selected to create mood, connect with an authentic audience, and share an idea.

Prompting Inspiration It is important to help students learn how to find inspiration. It is something that can be fostered in students. While it might not be possible to teach students to “learn to be inspired,” it is possible to share inspiration with them. We can guide them from using a source of inspiration to encouraging them to choose something that inspires them and ultimately to discovering their own sources of inspiration. Think for a minute about the gradual release of responsibility. With this instructional model, the responsibility of performing a task is gradually transferred from the teacher to the student. The first stage in the process is the teacher performing a task and explaining to the students the strategies involved. Then the teacher guides students while they practice the task, and finally students work on the task themselves. What if it were possible to model inspiration? What if teachers could move through a similar process of gradual release of responsibility when helping students to find their own inspiration? It is possible. You can supply students with writing prompts that are full of voice and help them use these engaging prompts as a starting point to discover the power of inspiration. As the gradual release model begins with the teacher holding all of the responsibility and gradually releasing it to the students, so does this process. Introducing students to rich prompts can enable them to use the inspiration the prompts provide and, within a short time, to begin to find inspiration on their own. What Are Rich Prompts? Rich prompts are writing prompts that are full of voice and set the stage for the students’ creativity to soar. These prompts are made up of a few sentences that capture students’ attention and make them eager to find out what happens next. They set the stage for something exciting, something that exists only in the imagination of the students. Students need to know what happens next; however, they are the only ones who have the power to bring those events to life. By setting the stage for a great piece of writing to unfold, a rich prompt brings inspiration students can “borrow.” Introducing Rich Prompts See the pages at the ends of Chapters 3 through 9 for reproducible versions of prompts for each of the voice-building strategies.

When rich writing tasks are first introduced, students will need support to learn the expectations that accompany them. This process is best facilitated by beginning with a single prompt. • Select one prompt that you think all your students can connect to and have some background knowledge about. It might be a humorous situation most of them would find funny or a suspenseful event or setting. Write the prompt in a place where all students can see it, or photocopy it for them to glue into their writing journals.

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This routine can be repeated a number of times to ensure that students have developed a sense of the expectations of the task. Continue to reinforce writing that is full of voice and use mini-lessons as a way of shaping students’ writing.

Use classroom observations as a way of immediately influencing instruction for a highly responsive way of teaching.

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• Begin by reading the prompt aloud to students and setting the context for the story. You might share an image you visualize in your mind, clarify an unusual word or interesting phrase, or express a thought or idea that pops into your head when you read the prompt. Remember, you are modeling inspiration! You need to show how excited you got when you first read the prompt. Read the prompt to the students with conviction and enthusiasm. Make it come alive with your voice. Imagine it is the first few phrases of the best book you’ve ever read! If you read it with enthusiasm, students will immediately connect with the words and be eager to continue it. • Inform students that they have ten to fifteen minutes to write before they will have an opportunity to share. During this time you might choose to write yourself. You are a mentor in more ways than one. You are modeling writing skills, but you are also modeling writing attitudes. If we want students to embrace writing, we need to model a passion for writing ourselves. • Once the time has passed, encourage students to share their writing with a classmate. Partners can practice sharing and providing feedback to each other. After allowing students to share with partners, you might choose a few students who would like to share their writing with the whole class. This is a perfect opportunity to model feedback by highlighting parts of a student’s writing that demonstrates strong writing skills. For example, you might comment on one student’s use of descriptive words, another’s ability to create a mood in his or her work. You might wish to teach a mini-lesson (no more than five minutes) that would help strengthen your students’ writing. • Students can use this instruction as a way of setting a personal writing goal for their next writing piece. A useful organizational strategy is to have students write their writing goal on the top of the next page in their writing journal. That way, the next time they begin to write, they will be reminded of the goal they set for themselves. At the beginning of the next writing session, encourage students to review their personal writing goals and think about how they can continue to practice this with their next piece. Once students are familiar with the routine and comfortable with the expectations, it is time to introduce them to the importance of having choice in their writing. Instead of selecting one writing prompt to share with your students, select two. Place the two prompts in a place where all students can see them and introduce both to the students. Instead of having everyone use the same prompt as a starting point, encourage students to choose the one that inspires them the most—the prompt that they strongly connect to, that intrigues them, or that excites them. Students will be interested to see which prompt their friends choose, and they will be eager to share when it is time to do so. Again, encourage students to share with partners, providing and listening to feedback from their peers. If students buddy-up and share with a partner, you can use music or another cue as a signal that they should finish their conversation. Students find a new partner and begin sharing again. This way, each student shares writing with and receives feedback from a few classmates. The student is able to hear different perspectives and opinions on his or her writing and use this when setting the personal writing goal for the next piece. Continue to provide direct instruction based on the observations of the students’ writing. Using students’ strengths and needs as a basis for instruction shows how powerful ongoing assessment can affect student learning.

Now that students have been introduced to the concept of choice, they can continue to build their writing experiences by incorporating choice into their daily writing. Providing students with multiple prompts allows them to develop autonomy and ultimately find their own inspiration. A new layer of choice can be introduced by providing students with supplementary sources of inspiration; for example, one day students might be provided with a writing prompt along with an interesting piece of art. Students can experiment with various sources of inspiration for their writing. Finally, provide students with multiple sources of inspiration while also encouraging them to find their own inspiration. For example, you might say, “You can write about either of these writing prompts, or you may choose to continue working on any of the writing pieces that you have already started, or you may write about anything else that inspires you.” When students have had multiple opportunities to write about things they find inspiring, they will begin to find inspiration in other places. They will start to make connections between the books they are reading and the stories they want to write. They will see things that fascinate them, and create worlds that exist only in their imaginations. Inspiration is a key element in writing. The passion that comes with inspiration is the vehicle through which writers are driven to express their ideas in powerful ways. Inspiration might not be something that we can teach directly, but it is something that we can foster. We can model it, provide rich prompts that support it, and encourage students to explore it on their own. If we can’t actually teach students how to be inspired, we can certainly set the stage for inspiration to grow. When Do They Finish What They Start? If students are starting with a new writing prompt every time they write, when do they ever finish what they start? Perhaps the answer to this question is found in another question: Does everything they write need to be finished? Students need to write, write, write and then choose a piece they love that they would like to finish and publish. Building our students’ writing voice comes through the “play” stage of writing, rather than the finishing stage. When students are playing with words, they are trying new things, experimenting with strategies to build their writing voice. Voice is strengthened the most through the drafting, sharing, and feedback phases of writing. That is not to say that the entire writing process is not important. However, the authentic writing process is not a linear one. Real writers collect ideas, drafts, and working copies before they finally commit to taking a piece through to completion and publication. Not everything our students write needs to be completed and published. In Anne Lamott’s book Bird by Bird she offers the consolation that all writers struggle with inspiration, and most first drafts are not for sharing. She says: The good news is that some days it feels like you have to keep getting out of your own way so that whatever wants to be written down can use you to write it…. the bad news is that if you’re at all like me, you’ll probably read over what you’ve written and spend the rest of the day obsessing, and praying that you do not die before you can completely rewrite or destroy what you have written. (Lamott, 1995)

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Students meet with greater success when they are given multiple opportunities to try out a writing form before they select their favorite piece to publish and share. If we truly believe that “choice builds voice,” then students need choice at all levels of writing—from what to write about to selecting their favorite pieces to publish. Starting with Stories Writing is most successful when authors write about things that they know. “Write what you know, and know what you write” is a valuable guideline for all writers. All children are familiar with stories. Stories are introduced to youngsters at early ages. In fact, probably even before they learned how to read and write themselves, they were encountering stories. Stories take the form of books read at home, shows watched on TV, and tales told around the dinner table. More formally called narratives, stories are probably one of the earliest forms of writing and possibly the easiest vehicle through which we can build students’ writing voice. Narratives allow the writer to role-play, to create imaginary worlds and grand adventures. They can explore ideas, themes, and personalities. Through writing stories, young writers can try out different voices and experiment with different moods. Through the imaginary world of stories, students can begin to see how their words have power—how their voice can change depending on the message they are trying to send, and the audience and purpose of their writing. Beginning with narratives, young writers can try out different strategies to build their writer’s voice. There are wide ranges of forms and purposes for writing. And the same way that our speaking voice can go from a casual conversation to a formal presentation, so can our writing voice. Students need to understand that their ­writing takes on different personalities for different purposes—but it should always maintain the authenticity of being uniquely theirs. When we help students to find their own writing voice, they will find it easier to transfer their learning between forms of writing and adapt their writing voice accordingly. Because stories allow the most creative licence and tend to be the form of writing with which students are most familiar, the writing prompts in this book typically lend themselves to narrative writing. Students find that “story” prompts are easiest to connect to and provide the greatest opportunity to play with voice. By using these prompts as a starting point, students begin to explore their creative side, take risks with words, and try out voice-building strategies. Once students have started to fill their writing with voice, they can explore further how to adapt their writing voice to suit different forms, purposes, and audiences. The skills they have developed through their exploration of story will make it easier for them to understand how to create writing that is full of voice—regardless of form. Rich writing prompts are a good starting point for introducing students to the power of the various voice-building strategies. Through these prompts, students can begin to see the different strategies in action, and they can use them to jumpstart their thinking. Students are sure to find the prompts presented in the following chapters engaging and inspiring. As each student is unique, so is each class. Every group of students has different passions and interests. Although the rich prompts in this book represent a wide range of themes and genres, you can assist students in finding inspiration from their own lives by creating rich prompts with your students that connect specifically to them. For example, you might ask students “What do you want 24  

to write about today?” As they share their answers, you might select one or two of their ideas to demonstrate how to take a seed of an idea and turn it into an engaging writing prompt. For instance, one student might suggest writing about time travel, another about dragons, and another about rotten bananas. You can select one or more of their suggestions and demonstrate how to change a simple idea into a rich prompt. The suggestion of “time travel” might become a prompt like this: Jacqueline and Denis pulled the rusty metal doors shut. The ordinary garden shed was filled with control panels and buttons. “I wonder what this button does,” said Jacqueline as she pointed to a brightly lit screen with the numbers 05/04/2052.

Or the suggestion about “rotten bananas” might become something like this: The fruit flies were a thick black cloud. Davis swatted his way to his locker and entered his secret combination. He pulled the locker open and a million rotten bananas tumbled onto his sneakers.

As you begin to develop rich prompts with your students, you might record them on the blank templates provided so that you (and your students) can revisit them at later dates.

Students giggle with pleasure when they are able to see their suggestions turned into rich prompts and shared with their classmates. Another way of including students in the creation of rich prompts is to include their names as characters. This suggestion comes with an obvious caution. If students are including their classmates as characters, they need to make sure that they are not representing them in negative ways and that the students whose names are used are not embarrassed through the writing of others. Encourage students to include their peers as heroes and characters of interest, but never as villains or victims. If your classroom is one where students have developed a sense of trust and mutual respect, they can find creative ways to include the names of their peers in their writing. The goal of writing is to help students find their own inspiration and subsequently build their authentic writing voice. When authors write about things that inspire them, their writing is passionate and purposeful. These prompts help students recognize the power of inspiration and how to use their voice to create the mood of a piece of writing in just a few short sentences. As students become more familiar with using rich prompts, they will likely find their own inspiration and have topics that they would prefer to write about. This should be encouraged. We want our students to think divergently, recognizing things that inspire them and fill them with the burning desire to write. If you start with rich prompts, soon students will be sharing their own suggestions for topics. At first they might need guidance turning a raw idea into a captivating first few sentences. But within a short time, students will take the initiative to write about things that they find inspiring, with passion and voice. You can adapt the reproducible on page 26 as a visual cue for students to remember the toolkit of voice-building strategies. You might choose to place these reminders where students can regularly refer to them when they are writing (e.g., the inside cover of their writing journals or a writing bulletin board). By keeping the definitions simple, students will be more likely to find ways of applying them to their writing.

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Voice-Building Strategies Get EMOTIONAL Use emotional cues so your reader knows how to react.

Come to your SENSES Use sensory statements to help your reader visualize your ideas.

Become a WORDSMITH Build your vocabulary and become an expert with words.

Get Some PERSPECTIVE Think about who is telling the story and keep the perspective consistent throughout.

Show your CHARACTER(s) Create characters that are interesting and let them have their own voice through dialogue

PERSONALLY Speaking Make your writing sound like you!

Show your STYLE Use elements of style to give your writing flair!

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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3

Emotional Cues

Authors include emotional cues in their writing. These cues help the reader to empathize with the characters and sense the mood of the piece. A skilled author can create a feeling of suspense, a tone of excitement, or an uplifting sense of inspiration. Emotional cues encourage readers to connect to the writing on a deeper level. By creating a strong mood or heightening the awareness of the emotional states of the characters, a writer can build the voice of the piece, allowing the reader to connect to the writing using their emotions. Young writers can include words and phrases that create a mood. When students are aware of the physical reactions our bodies have to different emotional responses, they are able to weave these clues into their writing. For example, if a writer knows that someone get “butterflies in his/her stomach” when nervous, the writer can use this phrase as a clue to the reader about the emotional state of a character who is in an anxiety-provoking situation: instead of writing, “Kara was nervous as she stood at the front of the class,” the student could write, “Kara tried to still the butterflies in her stomach as she stood in front of the class.” Or a writer who has thought about what it feels like to be frightened could use this to build the voice in his/her writing: instead of writing, “I was scared as I walked into the old dark building,” the student might write, “I could hear my heart beating in my chest, and a cold chill ran up the back of my neck as I walked into the old dark building.” Replacing a simple emotion word with an emotional cue is an effective strategy for immediately adding voice to a piece of writing. If students consider the reader–writer dialogue as they write, they can try to use emotional cues that will allow their readers to make inferences. They can include clues that indicate how characters are feeling, that imply the motivation behind their actions, and that allow their readers to infer the rest. Instead of directly stating a character’s emotions or explicitly expressing the mood of a piece, writers can use emotional cues to lead their reader in the desired direction. As students discover ways to add emotional cues to their writing, they will soon begin experimenting with different moods, from suspense to humor. They will enrich their ideas with emotional cues and allow their readers to connect to their words on a deeper level. Writing sample by Cindy, age 9: Creating a mood: humor

“The computer ate my homework!” Anne repeated for the third time. Mrs. Schmekleheimer eyed her suspiciously. “So creative with the excuses, everyone knows that’s not possible.”

Anne sighed. “I must have clicked something wrong yesterday night, and when I tried it again, it still didn’t work. Only my  27

sister was home with me, and when she tried to look through all the files she said it must have accidently ate my homework. I’m serious.” Mrs. Schmekleheimer’s face turned as red as a tomato and you could see the veins popping out of her forehead. Everyone knew that she was very, very angry. Angrier than when Max Feliex gave Sheila a “Texas Wedgie.” “I don’t like liars” she said in a deep stern voice. She took Anne’s boney hand and dragged her out of the classroom. When she let go, there was a ring of sweat around Anne’s thin wrist. Mrs Schmekleheimer’s eyes seemed to stare directly into Anne’s soul. “Anne, you know what I do to children who don’t do their homework, don’t you?” Anne swallowed hard. She tried not to say anything, she knew that if she did, she would probably be dead in a minute. “This is so not fair” she thought. “I did do my homework, I knew she’d never believe me.” The room was dead silent. Anne made herself a promise she knew she’d keep: “This year, I’m going to do something, Mrs. Schmekleheimer will never forget.” Voice-Building Activities Before students can begin to include emotional cues in their writing, they first need to understand how to recognize these cues in the writing of others. And they need to know how different emotions are recognizable in the actions of others. Helping them to develop an understanding of the way people typically react when experiencing different emotions can provide for them the background knowledge that they need to enhance their writing. With some simple activities, you can help your students build their understanding of emotional cues and begin to use them to enhance their writer’s voice. Chart Your Emotions With this activity, students can begin to connect physical reactions to various emotions. When they develop an understanding of how emotions are connected to actions, they can include them in their writing. 1.  Begin by creating a list of emotions with your students. For example, they might come up with descriptions such as angry, frustrated, excited, nervous, frightened, tired, overwhelmed, etc. Write these words on one side of a chart similar to the one shown on page 29. 2.  Encourage students to remember a time when they might have felt this way. Or invite students to role-play and act out a given emotion.

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3.  Beside each emotion, include as many physical clues to that emotion as possible. When students write, encourage them to use the physical clues you have generated as a way of expressing an emotion without directly identifying it. For example, instead of writing, “Cody felt sad that mother missed his concert, again” a writer might try, “Cody swallowed the lump in his throat as he wiped the tears from his puffy eyes. He hung his head as he trudged off the stage. His mother had missed his concert, again.” S ample E m o ti o n C hart

Emotion

Physical Clues

Angry

Heat rising up the back of your neck Tension in your shoulders and face Vein pulsing in your neck/forehead Heart pounding in your chest Hands forming into fists

Sad

Hanging head Shoulders drooping Tears welling up in your eyes Getting a lump in your throat Words coming out in sobs Sniffling nose

Tired

Eyes glazing over Looking off into the distance Resting your chin on your hands Shoulders slumping Dragging your backpack Trying to stifle a yawn

Frightened

Cold clammy hands Dry mouth Heart racing The hair on the back of your neck standing up Shiver down your spine Loud raspy breathing Goose bumps on your arms

Guess How I Feel? Students can continue to strengthen their understanding of how to use physical clues to show different emotions. By role-playing different scenarios, they can act out various emotions and ask other students to guess which emotion they are portraying. Simple role-plays can give students a better understanding of what physical reactions we have to different emotions. 1. Create a list of different scenarios that would elicit different emotional responses. Separate and place these scenarios in a hat for students to draw from. 2.  With a partner, students take turns drawing a scenario and acting it out. Encourage them to express their emotions without actually saying what the emotion is.  29

3.  Students watching can share their observations of the different physical clues used to convey different emotions. When students are writing, encourage them to recall the different scenarios that they role-played, as well as the ones that they observed, in order to create emotionally rich writing. Some sample scenarios might include: • Show that you’re angry because your parents won’t let you go to your best friend’s party. • Show that you’re frightened because you’re walking home alone and someone is following you. • Show that you’re excited because your parents have finally agreed to let you go to a concert. Writing sample by Brandon, age 11

I adjusted the lens. The image on the camera came into focus. “Perfect” I thought. I snapped the picture just in time. Then the image went blank. I didn’t know what was going on. Suddenly, I figured it out. A ghost was messing with me. Then he came out of my camera. I ran down the hallway. At the end the ghost was taking over a knight’s armor. There was nothing scarier than a knight trying to attack me. I dodged every one of the knight’s sword attacks. I thought quickly and found a sword that was made of wood. Then I tried to block myself, but I knew a wooden sword wouldn’t help because he would just slice through it. I realized that I was in real danger. I thought back to my last Social Studies class. I knew that a knight’s weak spot was his knee. When I kicked it, the ghost popped out… Makin’ Me Emotional Once students begin to have an understanding of how they can use emotional cues in their writing to create a mood, they can apply their knowledge by turning emotionally neutral statements into writing that conveys strong emotions. 1.  With students, brainstorm a list of emotionally neutral sentences; for example, you might record sentences that describe a familiar event. 2.  With students, model how it is possible to change an emotionally neutral statement into one that conveys a strong mood. 3.  After modeling writing with students, take a few minutes to discuss the intentionally added cues that helped to create the mood of the piece. 4.  Encourage students to try it out on their own, or with a partner. For example, you might start with a simple paragraph: The boy walked down the street. The car passed him. He followed the car with his eyes.

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Adding emotional cues to this paragraph might make it like this: The boy scurried down the dimly lit street clutching his backpack tightly to his chest. The dark car slowed as it approached him. Holding his breath, he glanced quickly, fearful to see the face behind the wheel. The car sped off, and he followed the car with his eyes, refusing to blink as it disappeared around the corner.

Clearly the mood of the paragraph has changed from describing a simple encounter between a boy and a driver to one that conveys a strong sense of fear and anxiety.

Rich Prompts for Emotional Cues See pages 36–38 for reproducible versions of these prompts.

Possible Genre: Humor

These rich prompts include emotional cues. Students will recognize the way they begin to lead the reader in the direction of an emotional response. Some prompts include physical clues, and others may have more direct evidence of the intended mood of the piece. “Clean this mess up,” Mom shouted for the third time. From my vantage point, I could see the little vein in her forehead pulsing with every beat of her heart. I looked around. I couldn’t see what the big deal was all about.

This prompt includes physical indicators that “Mom” is angry. Draw students’ attention to the phrases that show her state of mind: “shouted for the third time” and “the little vein in her forehead pulsing.” They might also notice the impending conflict: that the storyteller is oblivious to the source of the mother’s anger. This prompt sets the stage for a humorous piece. Possible Genre: Suspense

The edge of the cliff was closer than I had originally thought. My heart pounded as I stole a glance over my shoulder. The enemy were fast approaching. In front of me, the stones seemed to crumble and fall for an eternity. Behind me, certain doom. This prompt includes emotional cues that create a suspenseful mood. The story­ teller is trapped in a dangerous predicament with no obvious route for escape. Emotional cues included in this prompt include “heart pounded,” “stole a glance,” “certain doom.” Students might try to imagine what it would be like to be chased by an army of enemies to the edge of a cliff. In their writing, they might consider trying to answer questions: Why are they chasing you? How can you escape?  31

Possible Genre: Fantasy

The saliva dripped from the monster’s fangs. Juan was frozen with terror. The monster hissed softly and then suddenly darted to the left.

This exciting prompt places Juan imminent danger. His emotional state is directly stated—“frozen with terror”—but the prompt leaves room for the writer to expand. Students can create a suspenseful mood with this fantasy-style prompt. In their writing they might consider the following questions: What kind of monster is it? How did Juan encounter this creature? What will happen next? Writing sample by Austin, age 10 Note the change of perspective; see Chapter 6.

The saliva dripped from the monster’s fangs. I was frozen with terror. It hissed softly and then suddenly darted to the left.

My eyes were wide with wonder. I knew what the creature was called. It was a Zivon. I had read about it in a book once in the archives. Just then, my arms reached for whatever they could grasp. I grabbed a sharpened, accurately carved sword. Wait, if this is a man-made product this must be…I thought. The monster snapped its jaws. They were black and it had yellow spots all over. It dug it’s talons into the weak structure. Soon it was up on the wall and scaling the ceiling. I sweated like I had taken a shower. My heart was pounding like a wild beast really, really, really, really fast. “Please can you keep me alive?” I begged… Possible Genre: Adventure

Sara was sad. It was obvious from the way her shoulders were slumped and the distant look on her face. What wasn’t so obvious was why her mood had changed so suddenly.

The emotional state of the main character is directly stated, and some clues that support it are included. Students might notice such physical clues as “shoulders were slumped,” and “distant look on her face.” While students are writing, they might think about the reasons that Sara’s mood has changed so drastically and who else might be involved in the story. 32  

Possible Genres: Adventure, Suspense, Science Fiction

David adjusted his mask. He took a deep breath and heard the oxygen tank rattle on his back. He sucked his mouthpiece again and felt panic rising as he realized that his tank was out of air.

This prompt creates a suspenseful mood, as it is clear that David is quickly running out of air. The emotional cue “felt panic rising” helps the reader immediately connect with the urgency of the situation. The following questions might help students guide their thinking: Where is David (underwater? in space?)? Who is with him? What will he do next? How might this problem get even worse? How could it be solved? Possible Genres: Adventure, Fantasy

Samantha deeply inhaled the fragrance from the strange flower. Its pink and purple petals curled back. The glowing yellow centre fluttered as she breathed in again. Suddenly, she felt a strange feeling overcoming her. She dropped the flower and closed her eyes. In this prompt, the main character is being overcome by the magical power of a strange flower. Students have the opportunity to expand on her reaction and create the mood for the piece. As they write, asking the following questions might help guide their thinking: Where did Samantha get the strange flower? What happens to her once she is under it’s spell? Who else might be involved in this story?

Possible Genres: Adventure, Suspense, Legend

My hands trembled as I cracked open the old wooden crate. The ancient box was located in the exact spot that the legends had foretold. I could not believe that I was about to uncover the ancient treasure of King George.

This prompt begins with the emotional cue “My hands trembled.” As students continue to write, they can expand on the overwhelming feeling of excitement of discovering an ancient treasure. They might consider these questions: How would you feel if you discovered an ancient treasure? How was the treasure protected for so many years? What conflict might arise from this discovery?  33

Possible Genres: Humor, Adventure

The house was a wreck. Marley and Jacob had spent the entire afternoon dislodging things from shelves and pouring food onto the floor. I knew their parents would be home at any minute and I, their babysitter, would get all the blame. With this prompt, students can probably relate to getting blamed for a mess they did not create. Students can elaborate on the frustration the main character feels, as well as Marley and Jacob’s complete disregard for their babysitter’s authority. For added interest, they might even consider the reaction of the parents on their return home.

Possible Genres: Science Fiction, Adventure, Suspense

The robot whistled and beeped. I pushed the buttons frantically. It started spinning in circles. The sweat was dripping from my head. The clock seemed to tick faster and faster, and the robot seemed to become more and more disoriented. The emotional cues in this prompt begin to create a sense of urgency: “frantically,” “sweat dripping from my head,” as well as the race against the clock. These questions might help guide students’ thinking: Why is the robot malfunctioning? Why is it so important to control the robot immediately? Who else might be involved in this situation? How could the problem get worse before it got better?

Possible Genre: Adventure

“It’s missing!” Lara shrieked. Tears streamed down her face as she stared at her desk. “My mom told me not to bring it to school, and now it’s gone.”

The sinking feeling of losing something important is probably one that most students can relate to. Emotional cues such as “shrieked” and “tears streamed down her face” begin to set the stage for this story. Students might wonder: What item did Lara bring to school? Where did the item go? Why was it so important?

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Possible Genres: Adventure, Suspense

Nikki’s heart sank as she cracked open her fortune cookie. The centre was hollow, for the third time in a row. Her pulse started to race and her breath came in shallow gasps. How could she be the only one without a fortune?

In this prompt, the main character’s sense of panic is clear. The multiple emotional cues begin to create a sense of fear and dread: “heart sank,” “pulse started to race,” “breath came in shallow gasps.” As students write, they might consider: Why is the empty fortune cookie significant? What will happen next? Who else might be involved in the story? Possible Genres: Adventure, Humor

The recess bell rang and everyone filed out the door—everyone but me. I fumbled in my desk for my project. The teacher looked knowingly at me.

This prompt introduces two characters with different emotional states: the teacher and the student. Students have the opportunity to expand on these characters as they continue the story. This fairly open prompt allows students to set their own mood and take the story in a variety of directions, from adventure to humor.

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Rich Prompts for Emotional Cues “Clean this mess up,” Mom shouted for the third time. From my vantage point, I could see the little vein in her forehead pulsing with every beat of her heart. I looked around. I couldn’t see what the big deal was all about.

The edge of the cliff was closer than I had originally thought. My heart pounded as I stole a glance over my shoulder. The enemy were fast approaching. In front of me, the stones seemed to crumble and fall for an eternity. Behind me, certain doom.

The saliva dripped from the monster’s fangs. Juan was frozen with terror. The monster hissed softly and then suddenly darted to the left.

Sara was sad. It was obvious from the way her shoulders were slumped and the distant look on her face. What wasn’t so obvious was why her mood had changed so suddenly.

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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David adjusted his mask. He took a deep breath and heard the oxygen tank rattle on his back. He sucked his mouthpiece again and felt panic rising as he realized that his tank was out of air.

Samantha deeply inhaled the fragrance from the strange flower. Its pink and purple petals curled back. The glowing yellow centre fluttered as she breathed in again. Suddenly, she felt a strange feeling overcoming her. She dropped the flower and closed her eyes.

My hands trembled as I cracked open the old wooden crate. The ancient box was located in the exact spot that the legends had foretold. I could not believe that I was about to uncover the ancient treasure of King George.

The house was a wreck. Marley and Jacob had spent the entire afternoon dislodging things from shelves and pouring food onto the floor. I knew their parents would be home at any minute and I, their babysitter, would get all the blame.

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

 37

The robot whistled and beeped. I pushed the buttons frantically. It started spinning in circles. The sweat was dripping from my head. The clock seemed to tick faster and faster, and the robot seemed to become more and more disoriented.

“It’s missing!” Lara shrieked. Tears streamed down her face as she stared at her desk. “My mom told me not to bring it to school, and now it’s gone.”

Nikki’s heart sank as she cracked open her fortune cookie. The centre was hollow, for the third time in a row. Her pulse started to race and her breath came in shallow gasps. How could she be the only one without a fortune?

The recess bell rang and everyone filed out the door— everyone but me. I fumbled in my desk for my project. The teacher looked knowingly at me.

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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4

Sensory Statements

Authors use sensory statements to enable the reader to use his/her senses to interpret the writing and visualize the words on the page. This is the part of reading that involves turning simple words on a page into strong mental images. These images can be connected to any of our senses. Readers can create visual images and imagine specific smells, sounds, tastes, or feelings. Young writers can build their voice by including sensory statements. When writing forces the reader to use his/her imagination, it allows the reader to interpret the writing in a more active manner. This interaction between the reader and writer is done through the voice of the piece. For example, instead of “The basement was dark and cold,” it could be “The darkness of the basement was blinding and the cool damp air filled my lungs and chilled me to the core.” Or “Her father’s hockey bag smelled bad,” might become “Her father’s hockey bag emitted a foul odor of mold and month-old sweat. Her nose crinkled, and her eyes started to water. It smelled as if something had died in there.” Opportunities for readers to use their senses to interpret the text let them “hear” the writer’s voice. As students practice including sensory statements into their work, their writing will become rich with descriptive phrases. It is this vivid imagery that allows readers to imagine the text coming to life in their minds. Although it is not necessary to include all senses every time, as students continue to practice they will find ways of weaving sensory statements into their writing, further enhancing their author’s voice. Writing sample by Farozaan, age 9

…She stared at me in a fierce way. Her dark blue eyes glowed in the darkness of her hood. She slowly reached out her pale bruised arm. Her fingers were filled with cuts and bruises. She stretched out her other arm and together they formed a light blue ball that seemed to be getting bigger and bigger by the minute…

Voice-Building Activities When readers visualize, they use all of their senses to imagine the things they are reading about. As writers, students can practice using descriptive phrases that can give the readers sufficient information to create these mental images.  39

Setting the Stage One way for students to practice this skill is to imagine an interesting setting and to write a brief paragraph describing it that uses each of their senses. For example, students might imagine a musty castle, a dark basement, an old abandoned apartment, or even a dense forest. They can think of what the particular place would smell like, sound like, look like, feel like, and even taste like. When these ideas are combined, a writer is able to convey a strong sense of the image they want to share with their reader. Student writing samples by Arika, age 13

Smell The slightest breeze through the shattered window brought a scent both unpleasant and familiar to Shadow, reminding her of the city streets she wonders every night. The room itself, carried the scent of old furniture that seemed to be made of dust, and the few paintings left from the unsuccessful artist who disappeared without a trace, leaving his tiny apartment for Shadow to crash in. Aside from the smell of the city below the stale scents never quite left the few rooms of the abandoned studio. Even with the strongest breeze through the broken window facing the streets. Feel The dusty walls felt ragged and uneven, as though some were covered with layers upon layers of paint, while others carried only one lonely coat of white. Sweeping your hand along the ancient curtains felt like running your hands over the bindings of hundred year old books, the dust and cloth working in harmony to create a texture unique to any other. Taste Breathing in the stale air in the abandoned art studio felt foul on Shadow’s long tongue. Although she couldn’t quite put a finger on what the taste reminded her of. It was as though every lick on a candy, every bite from a new takeout container, every snap of an old chip bag carried the same strange tinted flavour as the air did. Sound The slightest breeze through the broken window would rustle the curtains and sweep through the room, crackling the papers that lay on the floor creating an orchestra of sounds that lingered in your ears. The busy city streets below carried the sounds of traffic

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through the thin walls and shattered window. When nightfall hit sounds from the overhead apartment would waft through the ceiling. Step-like sounds would carry through the room with the wailing and crying the old house would whisper. Sight The walls in the room were a sad shade of white. The three massive windows were right across from the entrance, covered in faded red curtains that hung from ceiling to floor. Along the East wall of the room, to the right of the entrance, lay dozens of paintings left behind by the previous owner, some of which looked as though their colours were once colourful and bright, but now looked washed out and sad. The wooden floors, which once must have been a cheerful brown, had long since taken on a greyish tint, matching the monotone feel of the rest of the studio. Above, the high ceiling was covered in heating and water pipes, long spider webs hanging from some, while others were caked in thick paint in an attempt to hide them. Get “Organized” Students might find it helpful to use a graphic organizer (see page 47) to brainstorm sensory associations for familiar objects. For example, they might think of their favorite food, a special childhood toy, or another familiar item. They would try to record as many sensory statements as possible using all of their senses. As an added challenge, students could share their sensory descriptions with peers, and allow classmates to guess the item described. Encourage students to use as many rich descriptive phrases as possible. Sample by Matthew, age 9

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Writing sample by Cindy, age 9

She could hear sounds of the animals in the distance. The higher she went, the more she struggled to keep going. The wind blew her long hair side to side, side to side. This was Cindy’s dream, to climb the mountain of Bublee Town, although she was too exhausted to do it. She took big deep breaths and knew she could not go any further. This was the end, she thought. She lifted her leg slowly to the rock and stood there, hoping to boost her energy. Crkk, crkk. “What is that!!!” Her voice echoed in the sky. Crkk, crkk. Her heart was beating so fast as if she were in a race. Cindy was worried. She looked around. The rock was cracking. She lifted her leg as quickly as she could, but it was too late… Rich Prompts for Sensory Statements

See pages 48–50 for reproducible versions of these prompts.

Possible Genres: Humor, Adventure

These rich prompts begin to create strong mental images using sensory statements. Students will recognize the use of words and phrases that allow the reader to use all of their senses to interact with the text. The bowl was heaped with popcorn and chocolaty goodness. My eyes swelled with delight, and I could almost taste the delicious treats.

This prompt provides the opportunity for students to use their senses to describe the delicious treats. As students are writing, they might think about how they can provide the reader with the information necessary to create vivid mental images. To make the story interesting, they might think about some of the following questions: Why is the storyteller is so enamored with the treats? What might he/she do to get them? What might be preventing the storyteller from enjoying the treats?

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Possible Genre: Suspense

The earth shook under my feet as I heard the ground groan and rumble one final time. The bridge above me creaked and moaned. A small piece of rock fell from above.

This prompt sets the stage for students to use their imagination to elaborate on the setting and the problem in the story. As they are writing, they might try to imagine what it would be like to take shelter under a bridge during a violent earthquake: What would they see? Feel? Hear? What could make the situation worse? Better? Possible Genres: Suspense, Adventure

The sun beat down on Alan’s dry cracked skin. He shielded his eyes as he searched the horizon. After seventeen days lost at sea, he had finally come ashore. But all hopes for a rescue faded quickly from his mind.

Students can visualize being lost at sea for seventeen days and what it would feel like to finally come ashore. This prompt provides students with the opportunity to imagine the setting and describe it vividly. There are some sensory statements in the prompt that begin to create the mental images. The following questions might help guide students’ thinking: Where was Alan going? How did he get into this situation? When he came ashore, what made him so certain that he was not going to be rescued? How might he feel? How would you describe his surroundings? Possible Genres: Fantasy, Science Fiction, Humor

The alien ship smelled like a strange combination of leather and old cheese. David’s eyes were wide with wonder as he stepped cautiously aboard.

Students might find humor in the way the setting is described using the sense of smell. They can continue to create the mental image by using sensory statements that target other senses. Students could find themselves writing a fantasy, science fiction, or humorous story. They might consider the following questions to further guide their thinking: Why was David brought aboard the alien ship?  43

What does it look like? What will happen to him? How can he return safely to his home? Does he want to go home? Possible Genre: Fantasy

I approached slowly, and could smell the faint odor of burnt wood. I heard a soft, low rumble. I froze. I could feel the dragon’s warm breath on my back.

This prompt accesses several senses: “smell the faint odor of burnt wood,” “heard a soft, low rumble,” “feel the dragon’s warm breath.” Students might notice how these few sensory statements are able to create a strong mental image and set the mood for the piece of writing. The following questions might help guide students’ thinking: If you were facing a dragon, what would you do? What type of dragon is it? Why is the storyteller there? What does the dragon have that he/she might want? How will he/she defend him/herself? Possible Genre: Fantasy, Adventure, Suspense

The stew bubbled and boiled in the old pot. The fire crackled and spat sparks onto the ancient stone hearth. One by one, the elders started to gather in the unmarked hut in the wood. The time was drawing near.

The sensory statements in this prompt begin to create an interesting setting. The use of such descriptive phrases as “fire crackled and spat sparks” and “unmarked hut in the wood” create the mystical mood for this piece of writing. Students might think about the purpose for the elder’s gathering, as well as build on the phrase “the time was drawing near.” Possible Genres: Adventure, Fantasy

The shard of sunlight reflected from the ground. I approached and brushed the tall grass to the side. I searched among the long weeds, looking for the source of the light. Something sharp jabbed my hand, and I withdrew it to discover that I was bleeding. This prompt creates strong mental images using sensory statements. The reflective object hidden in the long weeds is the source of inspiration for this story. As

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students are writing, they might want to think about what that object might have been and why it could be significant to the story. Possible Genres: Adventure, Mystery, Suspense

The crowd gathered around. The noise intensified as everyone started shouting amongst themselves. The tension in the air was thick and the mob started pushing together, trying to get a better view.

The sensory statements in this prompt set the stage for an exciting story to unfold. As students are writing, the following questions might help guide their thinking: What is the reason the crowd has gathered? What are they trying to get a better view of? What will make this story exciting? Possible Genres: Adventure, Fantasy

The tree twisted. The crack was ear-shattering. The branches crashed to the ground, destroying everything in the tree’s path.

The sensory statements in this prompt create strong mental images. Students can imagine a giant tree crashing to the ground. Students might elaborate on the setting and the circumstances surrounding this event as a basis for their writing. Writing sample by Austin, age 10

The tree twisted. The crack was ear-shattering. The branches crashed to the ground, destroying everything in the tree’s path.

Everything was devoured, and the people were running for cover. “This is the oldest trick in the book,” I whispered. I quivered. It was dark and cold. The roof of the house was torn like nothing. Done for! The stuff inside my house was scattered all around my floor. I grabbed my torn leather coat. It was way better than a thin, old T-shirt. “Okay, first things first. I’ve gotta find the book of Magic.” I said. I knew it was at the sorcerer’s cave…

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Possible Genres: Adventure, Science Fiction

Jacqueline and Denis pulled the rusty metal doors shut. The ordinary garden shed was filled with control panels and buttons. “I wonder what this button does,” said Jacqueline as she pointed to a brightly lit screen with the numbers 05/04/2052. Strong visual images begin to create an interesting setting for this story. Phrases like “rusty metal doors,” “filled with control panels and buttons,” and “brightly lit screen with numbers” help the reader to imagine that an ordinary garden shed has been transformed into something truly unique…a catalyst for a grand adventure.

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Sensory Associations

What would you see?

What would you smell?

Item: What would you feel?

What would you hear?

What would you taste?

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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Rich Prompts for Sensory Statements The bowl was heaped with popcorn and chocolaty goodness. My eyes swelled with delight, and I could almost taste the delicious treats.

The earth shook under my feet as I heard the ground groan and rumble one final time. The bridge above me creaked and moaned. A small piece of rock fell from above.

The sun beat down on Alan’s dry cracked skin. He shielded his eyes as he searched the horizon. After seventeen days lost at sea, he had finally come ashore. But all hopes for a rescue faded quickly from his mind.

The alien ship smelled like a strange combination of leather and old cheese. David’s eyes were wide with wonder as he stepped cautiously aboard.

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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I approached slowly, and could smell the faint odor of burnt wood. I heard a soft, low rumble. I froze. I could feel the dragon’s warm breath on my back.

The stew bubbled and boiled in the old pot. The fire crackled and spat sparks onto the ancient stone hearth. One by one, the elders started to gather in the unmarked hut in the wood. The time was drawing near.

The shard of sunlight reflected from the ground. I approached and brushed the tall grass to the side. I searched among the long weeds, looking for the source of the light. Something sharp jabbed my hand, and I withdrew it to discover that I was bleeding.

The crowd gathered around. The noise intensified as everyone started shouting amongst themselves. The tension in the air was thick and the mob started pushing together, trying to get a better view.

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

 49

The tree twisted. The crack was ear-shattering. The branches crashed to the ground, destroying everything in the tree’s path.

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

50 

Jacqueline and Denis pulled the rusty metal doors shut. The ordinary garden shed was filled with control panels and buttons. “I wonder what this button does,” said Jacqueline as she pointed to a brightly lit screen with the numbers 05/04/2052.

5

Wordsmithing

Writers who are wordsmiths are experts in using words. Building young writers’ vocabulary allows them to choose words that reflect their personalities and the mood they are trying to create in their writing. When you encourage students to take risks and try new words, you help them broaden their command of the English language. When we’re experimenting with words, it is important to focus on word usage. Too often young writers get hung up on the spelling of unfamiliar words and hesitate to use them. As teachers, we need to help them take risks and become wordsmiths; we can always worry about the spelling later. We want our students to feel uninhibited, as it is through this experimentation that they will develop a greater proficiency with words. Students can begin by substituting juicy, descriptive words for ordinary ones. For example, instead of writing, “The castle was dark and scary,” a student could try, “The castle was ominous and foreboding.” Or instead of “The ride was fun,” a writer might use, “The ride was exhilarating!” We need to stretch our students’ vocabulary and encourage them to become wordsmiths. A few years ago, when I was teaching students about the importance of wordsmithing and word choice, one student asked, “Why do you always use these fancy words? Why can’t you just use the words we know?” My response was this: “If I only use the words you already know, how will you ever learn new ones?” Building their vocabulary is essential for students to be able to add the richness of words to their own writing. We can help them do this in a number of ways. The most effective way to build students’ vocabulary is through their own experiences with text. When we read with students, or when students read independently, we need to help them develop an appreciation for interesting words. We need to help them collect words, try them out, and marvel at their uniqueness. They need to actively look for interesting words and find the power that comes with a carefully chosen word. As teachers, we also need to keep in mind that we are mentoring our students on many levels. We are modeling writing skills, attitudes, and a rich vocabulary. We need to embrace new words, to challenge ourselves, and to show our students how exciting it can be to find just the perfect word! When you are reading aloud or modeling writing with students, draw their attention to interesting words and creative word usage. Wonder aloud about the decisions authors make about the words they select. Engage in conversations with students about how words sound, flow, and work together. These ongoing dialogues will encourage students to become powerful wordsmiths. How will they ever learn new words if we only use the ones they already know?  51

A few words go a long way. When we encourage students to carefully craft their words, they will be empowered. As they broaden their vocabulary and increase their command of the language, they will find more effective ways of expressing their ideas. The writing will be filled with interesting words, words that are full of meaning, and words that enrich their voice. Writing sample by Adrian, age 11

One day, eight people decided to go to the ancient ruins. Their names were Pandora, Luke, Annabeth, Percy, Grover, Juniper, Tyson and Kat. But when they got there, the ancient ruins were strangely quiet. It was odd because the ancient ruins were usually buzzing with noise. They went closer and closer and closer, until suddenly a horrible creature sprang out of the shadows. The creature was a hideous half-serpent, half-human monster that had three heads. One head was a human head, while the other two heads were serpent heads. At the monster’s waist were two sword sheaths that had two identical swords inside them. The monster unsheathed the swords and the eight heroes realized that the swords glowed green with poison… Voice-Building Activities Folding Sentences Students occasionally get “stuck” when they are challenged to find a different, or possibly better, way of capturing the same idea. Here is a simple game you can play with your students that will help them expand their wordsmithing skills and encourage them to find different ways of expressing the same idea. 1.  Begin with a long piece of paper. On the top of the page, write a simple sentence. Here are some examples: I went to the store. Michael was late for school again. He kicked the ball into the net. The kitchen was a mess. The doorbell rang. I walked into the house. The man in front of me was very big.

2.  Provide each student with a different sentence. Under the sentence, each student should try to find another way of expressing the same idea, but using different words. Encourage them to add more descriptive words or expand on the idea. Once a student has created a new sentence, he/she folds the paper back so the original sentence is no longer visible, and the new sentence is now at the top of the page.

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3.  Students exchange sentences with a partner and repeat the process: finding a new way of writing the same idea, expanding the thinking or adding more description. Again, the paper is folded so the latest sentence is at the top. 4.  Repeat the process one or two more times. 5.  Students unfold the paper to see all the different ways the original sentence has been changed and expanded on. Voice Speaks Volumes How can we change the mood of a piece of writing with only a few words? Is it possible for one sentence or phrase to carry more than one meaning? Does our voice affect the way we interpret words? Absolutely! Consider what this sentence is saying: “I like your dress,” complimented Sara.

Does the meaning change if we replaced the word “complimented” with “sneered”? Try it: “I like your dress,” sneered Sara.

Does the verb describing the way the words are said change the meaning of the words that are said? Clearly! Here’s a game that can illustrate this to your students. 1.  Create five (or more) emotionally neutral sentences that include dialogue. For example: “Are you coming to my party?” said Jane. “What are you doing after school?” said Mark. “That’s not your dog,” said Mrs. Brown.

2.  Brainstorm a list of verbs that could replace said; for example, shouted, exclaimed, snarled, questioned, scoffed, stuttered, etc. 3.  Have students try reading the sentences aloud, replacing the word “said” with a more emotionally charged word. Encourage them to hear the way the message changes when the tone of the voice changes. 4.  Brainstorm a list of adverbs (e.g., fiercely, reluctantly, loudly, angrily). Try combining the sentence with a new verb and an adverb. Notice the way the tone changes and the mood is affected. You might want to use a brainstorming chart similar to this one: E m o ti o n ally Ne u tral S e n te n ce

“ S peaki n g ” V erb

A dverb

“Are you coming to my party?” said Jane.

Shouted Exclaimed Snarled Questioned Scoffed Stuttered Mused Stated

Fiercely Reluctantly Loudly Angrily Eagerly Sourly Quietly Cautiously

“What are you doing after school?” said Mark. “That’s not your dog,” said Mrs. Brown.

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Rich Prompts for Wordsmithing Introducing students to new and interesting words through rich prompts is only one way of strengthening their wordsmithing skills. We can continue to build students’ vocabulary by challenging them to use new words that they might have encountered through personal reading, in conversations, or from other sources.

Possible Genres: Suspense, Adventure, Science Fiction

While wordsmithing is a strategy that students can practice through any writing opportunity, the following rich prompts include interesting words or phrases. Students might find some words challenging and need clarification as to their meaning. When you provide students with authentic opportunities to try out new words, you help them continue to build their vocabulary and wordsmithing skills. (See pages 58–59 for reproducible versions of these prompts.) The secret files were contained on the microscopic flash drive. The light turned green to indicate that the files had been transfered completely.

Some students might be familiar with the term “flash drive” as a temporary storage device for a computer. However, the use of the word “microscopic” indicates that it is incredibly small. As students are writing, they might find it helpful to think about some of the following questions: What is so important about the files? What information do they contain? Who is downloading the information? What are they going to do with it? Possible Genres: Adventure, Suspense

The cobra sat coiled, ready to strike. Raj moved closer. The snake swung its neck in a rhythmic dance, back and forth, back and forth.

In this prompt, students encounter the phrase “rhythmic dance.” This phrase refers to the way the cobra sways before it strikes. Although the word “rhythm” and “dance” are probably words that students are familiar with, the context in which they are used might be new. While students are writing, they might consider ways to expand on the visual imagery and the suspenseful mood that has been started.

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Possible Genres: Adventure, Humor

The ship rocked back and forth. The waves seemed to get bigger and bigger, and with each passing motion Michael’s stomach lurched more and more. His face was a pasty shade of green. Suddenly he darted to the side of the ship. In this prompt, the use of descriptive verbs might be of interest to students. Terms like “lurched” and “darted” might not be words that they are familiar with or use very often. These powerful words help to describe the action and enhance word usage. While students are writing, they might think about ways in which they could continue to use rich words and descriptive writing to create an exciting adventure with vivid mental images.

Writing sample by Kishana, age 11

The ship rocked back and forth. The waves seemed to get bigger and bigger, and with each passing motion, Michael’s stomach lurched more and more. His face was a pasty shade of green. Suddenly he darted to the side of the ship.

When Michael stood up, something again hit the side of the ship. This time, Michael darted to the other side of the ship. The creature started rising out of the water, and Michael moved back. The creature started to sing: “Halleluja, Halleluja, Halleluja, I’ve found my supper.” The creature dived for the ship as Michael tried to save those still on board. Suddenly, Michael felt his feet rise off the ground. Michael got thrown in the air. The creature’s jaws were open wide. Michael managed to escape by closing the creature’s mouth with rope he found in his pocket. Michael plunged into the water, and so did the creature…

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Possible Genre: Adventure

Emma flipped the switch. The light was blinding. She shielded her eyes from the sudden glare. Stumbling, she stepped from the darkness into the brightly illuminated room. What she saw there was unlike anything she’d ever seen before. This prompt challenges students with descriptive writing and a possibly new word: “illuminated.” Using the context cues in the prompt, students should be able to determine that it means “lit up.” While writing, the following questions might help guide students’ thinking: Why is the room so bright? What does she see that is so unique?

Possible Genres: Fantasy, Adventure, Suspense, Mystery

The dim light made my shadow appear long and eerie on the old walls. The hallway was lined with ancient oil paintings of former headmasters. Their eyes seemed to follow me as I made my way to the cavernous room at the end of the hall. The creative word choices in this prompt begin to describe the setting and set the mood for the piece; i.e., phrases like “long and eerie,” “former headmasters,” and “cavernous room.” Although this prompt has strong visual imagery, students may find some of the words new or interesting.

Possible Genres: Adventure, Science Fiction, Humor

Brandon was working on an experiment that would enable him to shrink anything. The enormous reactor took up most of the available space in his garage.

Using this prompt, students can explore the possibility of creating a shrinking machine. New and interesting words for students might be “enable” and “enormous reactor.” As students are writing, the following questions might help guide their thinking: Why would Brandon want to shrink things? What could go wrong? What type of person is Brandon?

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Possible Genre: Adventure

The dark sails became visible on the edge of the horizon. There was no doubt that the Spanish galleon was now a pirate ship.

This prompt allows students to create a world filled with pirates and buccaneers. Students might enjoy exploring words that are associated with pirate adventures: e.g., galleon, buccaneers, Jolly Roger, etc. As students are writing, they might consider the following: Where will the story take place? Who is telling the story? Is the pirate ship approaching another ship/city? Why is the ship approaching? What do the pirates want? Possible Genres: Fantasy, Adventure

“It’s the rare Garden-variety Hippopotamus,” whispered Jane. Mark, still stunned at their discovery, sat wide eyed, just staring at the tiny creature. “They’re not just rare,” Jane said. “They’re thought to be extinct.” “Extinct? As in, no more?” Mark exclaimed. In this prompt, the word “extinct” plays a critical part in setting the stage for the story to unfold. A magical creature was created, simply by combining familiar words: Garden-variety Hippopotamus.

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Rich Prompts for Wordsmithing The secret files were contained on the microscopic flash drive. The light turned green to indicate that the files had been transfered completely.

The cobra sat coiled, ready to strike. Raj moved closer. The snake swung its neck in a rhythmic dance, back and forth, back and forth.

The ship rocked back and forth. The waves seemed to get bigger and bigger, and with each passing motion Michael’s stomach lurched more and more. His face was a pasty shade of green. Suddenly he darted to the side of the ship.

Emma flipped the switch. The light was blinding. She shielded her eyes from the sudden glare. Stumbling, she stepped from the darkness into the brightly illuminated room. What she saw there was unlike anything she’d ever seen before.

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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The dim light made my shadow appear long and eerie on the old walls. The hallway was lined with ancient oil paintings of former headmasters. Their eyes seemed to follow me as I made my way to the cavernous room at the end of the hall.

Brandon was working on an experiment that would enable him to shrink anything. The enormous reactor took up most of the available space in his garage.

The dark sails became visible on the edge of the horizon. There was no doubt that the Spanish galleon was now a pirate ship.

“It’s the rare Garden-variety Hippopotamus,” whispered Jane. Mark, still stunned at their discovery, sat wide eyed, just staring at the tiny creature. “They’re not just rare,” Jane said. “They’re thought to be extinct.” “Extinct? As in, no more?” Mark exclaimed.

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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6

When first-person narrative is used, the writer can provide a detailed account of an event from one person’s perspective—the perspective of the storyteller. By using this perspective, the reader sees all events through the eyes of the narrator.

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Perspective

Who is telling the story? The perspective an author uses to tell a story influences the reader’s insight into the text. Writers and readers know that the person who is telling the story is just as important as the story itself. If you need a concrete example of a situation where this is true, just recall the last time you were involved in mediating a recess-time dispute. There were probably as many different versions of the story as there were storytellers. The witnesses had one version; whereas the students who were involved in the altercation probably had more emotionally charged stories. The unbiased witnesses might have had a neutral story with insight into the actions of all participants; the students actually involved in the dispute might have had more biased perspectives. These different perspectives changed the story and allowed you to understand the story from different vantage points. The same is true for writing. When a character tells the story—known as narrative in the first person—all the events are seen through that character’s eyes. The reader has insight into that character’s thoughts and opinions, emotions and intentions. This perspective allows the reader to delve into the mind of that one character and see the story as he/she would have seen it. On the other hand, when a story is told in the more objective third person, the story unfolds before the reader, allowing the reader a broader understanding of the story as told by an uninvolved participant. This vantage point allows the author to share the story from a position of omnipresence and omniscience (being everywhere and knowing all). The author can take the reader into places that the characters might not go, and can create different worlds that will connect at some point in the story. When a writer uses third-person perspective, it’s as if the narrator has stepped outside of the story and is telling it from a distance. In this perspective, a writer can share the stories and perspectives of many different characters. A third-person narrator is telling the stories of others. One of the biggest challenges for students is to maintain a consistent perspective. Too often, young writers start in third-person perspective and, as soon as the story becomes exciting, “jump into” the story and become the hero. This shift in perspective from third- to first-person results in a very confusing read. Helping students choose the appropriate perspective for a story, and then maintain it, shows them the importance of a consistent voice throughout an entire piece of writing. Students can explore the different effects that first- and third-person perspectives bring to their writing. Sometimes students enjoy taking on different roles and writing from a perspective that is drastically different from their own. Writing in role lets students take on different personalities and explore perspectives

they would not normally consider. By broadening their experiences with perspectives, students are able to explore the different ways they can tell a story. They will soon have an understanding that whoever is telling the story is as important as the story itself. Connected to the idea of perspective is the use of tense. Most narratives are told in the past tense, often the tense of storytellers. However, as students rely on their experiences as movie-goers and show-watchers, they tend to recall stories in the present tense. Young writers can find it difficult to maintain a consistent tense. They switch often between past and present tenses. We need to help students develop an awareness of the different options for telling their stories (perspective and tense), and how stick to their choice. Writing sample by Bilal, age 10

The Great Valleys Are Lost As the Rocky Mountains were my home, the great open space was free I thought. Suddenly all that was gone, as I saw them burning our people, our homes and my clan. I wanted revenge. I was too weak but they must pay for taking my clan. I and my older brother were the last of the Valley’s Clan, I watched as they took us out. My heart filled with sorrow. All I had was taken from me in a blink of an eye. The “civilized” people took my home. I had to avenge this fate. I had to grow strong and fight, but first I was starving and needed to find food. With the year almost gone there was no way we were going to survive. I was young but I hoped that my older brother could teach me how to fight and take back the great valleys land… Voice-Building Activities Writing in Role Students can take on multiple personalities by simply picking up a pen. This activity will help students develop an understanding of how first-person perspective allows the writer to write with different voices and from the vantage point of one main character. 1.  With students, brainstorm a list of interesting characters. The list might include such examples as an injured soldier, an astronaut, an explorer, a police officer, a young child, an angry parent, a bully, a salesperson, a politician, a teenager, etc. 2.  Create a list of potential problems or situations that a character might face. For example: the soldier has been separated from the rest of her unit; the astronaut is anticipating his launch the next day; the salesperson is trying to convince you to buy her latest greatest product; the parent is angry about a huge mess; etc. 3.  Model with students how to write in role as one of these characters by writing a brief paragraph describing the problem the character is facing. Using the

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first-person perspective, show students how you can share an insight into the thoughts, actions, and motivations of the character. 4.  Students can try it on their own or with a partner. Encourage them to share their stories with each other and notice the way the different characters’ personalities are heard through the use of the first person. Keepin’ It Consistent Maintaining consistency in perspective and tense is a challenge for students. This collaborative activity will help students recognize the importance of maintaining consistency in a piece of writing. 1.  Brainstorm a list of characters and situations similar to the ones described in the activity Writing in Role. 2.  Discuss with students the differences between first- and third-person perspectives, and talk about the advantages and limitations of each. 3.  Encourage students to select one character and a situation that character would face; they note this at the top of their page. They should also indicate the perspective (first- or third-person) they have selected for their writing. 4.  Independently, students begin writing the first few sentences of the story. After they have written two to three sentences, they stop writing. 5.  Students exchange stories with a partner. Encourage students to pay close attention to the perspective, tenses, and voice in what has been written. 6.  Each student continues writing his/her partner’s story, trying to maintain as much consistency as possible. 7.  Repeat steps four and five as many times as desired. 8.  For an added challenge, have students read the stories aloud to the class as listeners try to guess when there was a change in writer. For more fun, you might even consider playing this as a game of musical stories, with students trading stories every time the music stops.

Rich Prompts for Perspective See pages 66–68 for reproducible versions of these prompts.

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The way a story is told is as important as the story itself. Who is telling the story? Whose perspective is being shared? These rich prompts encourage students to think about the perspective from which a story is told, and the way that this choice can affect the message. Some of these prompts are presented pairs, one in each format, to allow students to consider the story from different perspectives. Before writing, students can consider which perspective would work best for their story. After writing, encourage students to share their writing with their peers, to discuss the choices they made and how it affected the story.

Possible Genre: Humor

The look on Mark’s face was unmistakable—pure joy. It was the largest gift he had ever seen in his life; and it was all his.

This prompt introduces a character and sets the stage for the story to unfold. As students are considering which perspective would be most effective to use, they might find the following questions helpful: • If you tell this story from the first-person perspective, who would you be? Would you be the person who has given Mark the gift? Why would he have been given the gift? What is your relationship with Mark? • If you tell this story in the third-person, you will be an observer who can witness the entire story and know what everyone is thinking and feeling. What kind of person is Mark? Why is this such a special event for him? What could make this into an exciting story? Possible Genres: Suspense, Adventure, Mystery

The curtains opened. The crowd roared to life, only to be silenced when they immediately sensed that something was terribly wrong.

The openness of this prompt allows the writer to consider the story from a range of different perspectives. If the student was to tell the story using first-person perspective, then the narrator could be one of many characters involved in the story. The student might write from the perspective of an audience member, a person on stage, or any other person involved in the action. From the thirdperson perspective, the writer would be able to consider the story from a more neutral perspective, including as much information as he/she deemed necessary.

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Possible Genre: Suspense To right: First-Person Perspective Far right: Third-Person Perspective

I pushed the branch to the side. I wiped the sweat from my brow. As I gently swept the dirt with my fingers, I gasped.

Yanni pushed the branch to the side. He wiped the sweat from his brow. As he gently swept the dirt with his fingers, he gasped.

This prompt is presented in two different formats, in first- and third-person perspectives. As students are writing, some of the following questions might help guide their thinking: What did you/Yanni find in the dirt? Was it something you/ he were/was looking for or was it a new discovery? As you think of telling this story, would you be able to share more from a first-person or a third-person perspective? If you were in the story, how would that be different from you telling someone else’s story? Possible Genre: Humor To right: First-Person Perspective Far right: Third-Person Perspective

I had spent every day of the last three years of my life dreaming about the day I would finally have a dog. Now, my mother stood before me, holding a box containing my new pet. My heart stopped. The creature inside the box moved, and it was clear that this was not the pet I had hoped for.

Kalil had spent every day of the last three years of his life dreaming about the day he would finally have a dog. Now, his mother stood before him, holding a box containing his new pet. His heart stopped. The creature inside the box moved, and it was clear to Kalil that this was not the pet he had hoped for.

The versions of this prompt allow students to choose the perspective that will work best for them. The initial mood for the story is one of humor. As students are writing, the following questions might be helpful in guiding their thinking: What unusual creature might be contained in the box? How do you think you/ Kalil will react? Possible Genre: Humor To right: First-Person Perspective Far right: Third-Person Perspective

I couldn’t believe my luck. Right in front of me was a purple lollipop, just lying on the ground. I looked around to see if its owner was anywhere in sight, but I seemed to be alone. I picked it up.

Bryan couldn’t believe his luck. Right in front of him was a purple lollipop, just lying on the ground. He looked around to see if its owner was anywhere in sight, but he seemed to be alone. He picked it up.

Again, this prompt allows students to select the most effective perspective for telling the story. This fun story allows students to think about what might happen if a character gives in to temptation. 64  

Possible Genre: Humor To right: First-Person Perspective Far right: Third-Person Perspective

I crept down the old wooden stairs. My eyes searched the darkness. My heart seemed to stop as I realized that I was standing faceto-face with my greatest fear.

Miriam crept down the old wooden stairs. Her eyes searched the darkness. Her heart seemed to stop as she realized that she was standing face-to-face with her greatest fear.

The choice in this prompt allows students to consider how a character might face a fearful situation. As students are writing, they might find it helpful to consider these things: What would it be like in a dark creepy basement? What do you think is your/Miriam’s greatest fear? What might happen to you/her? How can you/she solve this problem?

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Rich Prompts for Perspective The look on Mark’s face was unmistakable—pure joy. It was the largest gift he had ever seen in his life; and it was all his.

The curtains opened. The crowd roared to life, only to be silenced when they immediately sensed that something was terribly wrong.

I pushed the branch to the side. I wiped the sweat from my brow. As I gently swept the dirt with my fingers, I gasped.

Yanni pushed the branch to the side. He wiped the sweat from his brow. As he gently swept the dirt with his fingers, he gasped.

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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I had spent every day of the last three years of my life dreaming about the day I would finally have a dog. Now, my mother stood before me, holding a box containing my new pet. My heart stopped. The creature inside the box moved, and it was clear that this was not the pet I had hoped for.

Kalil had spent every day of the last three years of his life dreaming about the day he would finally have a dog. Now, his mother stood before him, holding a box containing his new pet. His heart stopped. The creature inside the box moved, and it was clear to Kalil that this was not the pet he had hoped for.

I couldn’t believe my luck. Right in front of me was a purple lollipop, just lying on the ground. I looked around to see if its owner was anywhere in sight, but I seemed to be alone. I picked it up.

Bryan couldn’t believe his luck. Right in front of him was a purple lollipop, just lying on the ground. He looked around to see if its owner was anywhere in sight, but he seemed to be alone. He picked it up.

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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I crept down the old wooden stairs. My eyes searched the darkness. My heart seemed to stop as I realized that I was standing face-to-face with my greatest fear.

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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Miriam crept down the old wooden stairs. Her eyes searched the darkness. Her heart seemed to stop as she realized that she was standing face-to-face with her greatest fear.

7

Character Development

A former student of mine clearly illustrated the importance of developing characters that take on their own personalities and have a voice of their own. This young student was incredibly shy and had not spoken at school for more than four years. Her self-imposed silence made everyone think that she had no voice. One day, I was reviewing my students’ goal-setting, and saw that this youngster had set the goal of “including more dialogue in my writing.” Her writing was rich and creative; she wrote with description and passion. Her characters leaped to life with their actions and interactions. And yet she strived to increase her use of dialogue in her writing. She recognized the importance of characters engaging in conversations. By giving her characters personality and voice, I was able to hear a reflection of her own voice coming through. Her writing had given her a voice while her speaking voice was silent. Her writing was full of voice. She had found her voice with the stroke of a pen. Authors can create vivid characters with distinct personalities. By using dialogue, they are able to share, not only their voice, but also the voice of their characters. Writing sample by Tali, age 11

Crystal flipped her luscious blonde hair as she hopped in her limo leaving her private school. Her two BFF’s Layla and Kayla were texting away on her new Blackberry. “Nice going LOSERS” she said to the girls sitting on the stairs. She made an “L” on her forehead. “Nice necklace” Crystal said as she rolled down her window giggling away. “I just got a text from my assistant Mia. She says my daddy signed us up for dance class in Paris.” Voice-Building Activity Yo Momma Said... What are phrases you connect with certain people in your life? Do you catch yourself repeating things that you remember your parents saying when you were a child? Through our conversations, we expose our personality. Likewise, dialogue provides insight into the lives of the characters we write about. How can our characters have a voice of their own? Dialogue is a powerful tool for develop 69

ing characters. Authors need to imagine their characters and capture their speaking voice through written dialogue. 1.  Brainstorm a list of interesting questions you could ask someone. Think of open-ended fun-provoking questions: Would you like this chocolate bar? Have you seen my car keys? What is that strange smell in the kitchen? 2.  Brainstorm a list of interesting characters. For example: your mother, the chief of the fire department, a seventeen-year-old, an escaped convict, a taxidriver, a private investigator, etc. 3.  Place the interesting people in one hat, and the questions in another. 4.  Draw a question and read it aloud. 5.  Have a student pick a character out of the hat. The student answers the question in the role of the character. (If possible, record responses on chart paper for later reference.) 6.  Encourage a few students to try selecting characters to respond to the same question. 7.  Repeat with a different question and different characters. 8.  Encourage students to recognize that the different characters have different voices, and to use these voices when they respond to the questions. Recording the different responses allows the class to discuss the way the different personalities were evident in the dialogue. Students can continue to create interesting, vivid characters by including dialogue. Writing sample by Tali, age 11

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The darkness seemed to surround me. I gently walked up the creaky stairs and knocked on the door. “Come in my darling,” she said in a creaky voice. “No thank you, just selling Girl Scout cookies,” I said in a sweet but horrified voice. “All right, give me a moment,” she said in a suspicious way. A slimy old face opened the door. “Why don’t you come in, I’ve got tea boiling on the stove.” “No, no, just do you want to buy cookies?” I said. “Come inside, I will get my wallet,” she said. As I walked in I noticed all of the pictures that looked like they were watching me. The lady said she was making tea but it was much worse. I saw a big pot with green potions in it. I wanted to leave but when I turned around to the door, it wasn’t there. “Trying to escape?” she said. “Escape? Why would I try to escape? Why don’t you just take the cookies for free so I can leave and stop bothering you?” I said trying to find the door. “No, I’ll take the cookies, but my real treat is you,” she said, determined to make me stay…

Rich Prompts for Character Development See pages 74–75 for reproducible versions of these prompts.

Possible Genre: Humor

These prompts introduce students to vivid characters. Some characters’ personalities are evident through their actions and some through their words. Students will recognize the potential of creating interesting characters in a few sentences. Encourage students to continue to explore ways in which they can develop engaging characters. “The computer ate my homework.” I repeated for the third time. Mrs. Smeckleheimer eyed me suspiciously. “So creative with the excuses. Everyone knows that’s impossible.” I sighed. I knew she ’ d never believe me. This prompt introduces students to a love-to-hate character, a teacher who doesn’t believe her students. As students are writing, they can continue to develop this character through descriptive writing and use of dialogue. They might find the following questions helpful to guide their thinking: What would happen if your teacher just didn’t believe a word you said…even when you were telling the truth? How can you create a character we would all love to hate using dialogue and description?

Possible Genre: Humor

Sheldon tapped mercilessly at the keys of his computer. He adjusted his glasses and squinted his eyes. He knew he was the smartest kid in all of Smithville county, but now he had been challenged to prove it.

In this prompt, descriptive writing is used to create an interesting character. Through the actions and appearance described, the reader is able to come to a conclusion about the type of character he is. As students are writing, they can continue to further develop this character by introducing a problem and other characters. Possible Genre: Suspense

Kaleb turned the dial once more to the left. He felt the lock click as it snapped open. His eyes searched the room to see if anyone had noticed. In this prompt, a main character is introduced and students have the opportunity to develop him further by including descriptive writing and dialogue. Using the  71

third-person perspective, students can take a broader point of view. They can introduce other characters; they can create a problem and a solution. As students are writing, the following questions might help shape their thinking: Why is Kaleb opening a lock? What is the lock protecting? Does he have the right to open the lock or is he breaking into something that doesn’t belong to him? Possible Genre: Humor

I knew it was going to be the worst day of my life. Here was my first clue: I had no idea that my pants had a hole in them until Sheila McGinnis started to giggle.

This prompt, in the first person, provides students the opportunity to create a character facing a tremendously embarrassing situation. This perspective allows the writer to include insight into the thoughts, as well as the words and actions, of the character. Possible Genres: Fantasy, Adventure, Humor

Damien splashed through the thick mud. The swamp smelled like stagnant water. Reaching down quickly he snatched a speckled frog from the dense reeds. “No, don’t lick it!” shouted Maria. “I have to, that’s how the magic works,” replied Damien. In this prompt two interesting characters are introduced. The initial dialogue begins to create an impression of both characters. Students have an opportunity to develop them further using descriptive writing, developing a plot, and continuing their dialogue.

Possible Genre: Humor, Adventure

“Everyone buckled in?” Mom asked for what seemed like the hundredth time. “Yeah, ready for the time of my life,” my older brother Brian responded sarcastically. “Ain’t that right, Squirt?” He looked at me with evil eyes. He licked his palm and ruffled my hair. “Ain’t that right?” he repeated. In this prompt, students are introduced to another love-to-hate character. They can further develop this character through his actions and dialogue.

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Possible Genres: Humor, Adventure

Simon waddled down the hall. He clutched his binder in his arms and smiled, revealing evidence of his lunch that had been trapped in his braces. With a sudden lurch forward, Simon tripped on his left shoelace and sprawled headlong onto the floor of the crowded hallway. In this prompt, the main character Simon is developed through his appearance and his actions. Students can work to further develop the character through the creation of a problem for him to overcome, as well as his interactions with others (dialogue and actions).

Possible Genres: Adventure, Suspense

The storm had raged all night, and now the warnings were severe. “Come on,” urged Jake. “The river’s never been this high before. We’ve gotta check it out. What are you, chicken?”

This prompt introduces a problem and an interesting character. Through Jake’s dialogue, readers gain some insight into his character. As students are writing, the following questions might help guide their thinking: Why does Jake want to go to the river? Who might go with him? What problem might occur at the river? What lessons might be learned?

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Rich Prompts for Character Development “The computer ate my homework.” I repeated for the third time. Mrs. Smeckleheimer eyed me suspiciously. “So creative with the excuses. Everyone knows that’s impossible.” I sighed. I knew she ’ d never believe me.

Sheldon tapped mercilessly at the keys of his computer. He adjusted his glasses and squinted his eyes. He knew he was the smartest kid in all of Smithville county, but now he had been challenged to prove it.

Kaleb turned the dial once more to the left. He felt the lock click as it snapped open. His eyes searched the room to see if anyone had noticed.

I knew it was going to be the worst day of my life. Here was my first clue: I had no idea that my pants had a hole in them until Sheila McGinnis started to giggle.

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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Damien splashed through the thick mud. The swamp smelled like stagnant water. Reaching down quickly he snatched a speckled frog from the dense reeds. “No, don’t lick it!” shouted Maria. “I have to, that’s how the magic works,” replied Damien.

“Everyone buckled in?” Mom asked for what seemed like the hundredth time. “Yeah, ready for the time of my life,” my older brother Brian responded sarcastically. “Ain’t that right, Squirt?” He looked at me with evil eyes. He licked his palm and ruffled my hair. “Ain’t that right?” he repeated.

Simon waddled down the hall. He clutched his binder in his arms and smiled, revealing evidence of his lunch that had been trapped in his braces. With a sudden lurch forward, Simon tripped on his left shoelace and sprawled headlong onto the floor of the crowded hallway.

The storm had raged all night, and now the warnings were severe. “Come on,” urged Jake. “The river’s never been this high before. We’ve gotta check it out. What are you, chicken?”

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8

Personalization

Do you have students who dot their i ’s with hearts, or end their sentences with giant periods? These students are starting to develop their own flair when it comes to writing; they recognize that they can make their writing uniquely their own. When students begin to personalize their writing—both with content and appearance—they allow the reader to see their personality shining through. Each of us has a unique personality. A personality is a combination of likes, dislikes, habits, background, associations, and the countless other things that make each of us special. As writers we also have our own personalities. Through our writing, each distinct personality can be seen. We need to help students begin to see their writing as a reflection of their personalities, as a way to capture the attention of their readers; we want them to show a passion and connection for their writing. But above all, we want them to be empowered as authors. We want each student to think like an author and write like an author. Writers bring their prior experiences and knowledge to each writing piece. They learn to apply their understanding of how writing works in order to make their writing stronger. Through writing, students can make connections to the world and explore familiar themes, settings, characters, or situations. They can share valuable lessons they have learned and illustrate their writing with rich connections to facts or personal experiences that give the reader a sense of the author’s world. When we read writing aloud and we can hear specific students’ voices resonating through their words, we know that these writers have truly personalized their work. Writing sample by Cindy, age 9

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“Shelly!!” yelled my teacher. “what is the answer?” “ uh....uh.... true! False! 64! 8! Multiplication!” I guess I was day dreaming again. My teacher was not pleased. “Not pay attention again and you will be in detention!” I nodded but I just could not help myself. I looked out the window. It was such a beautiful day outside and I was stuck in school. The clouds looked like cotton candy, and the sun looked like a yellow jewel in the sky, and the bright green grass...wait! No, No, No, I am not going to get distracted again. I tried to focus on the lesson. It seemed like my friends were watching me because they said “She has the attention span of a

goldfish”, and that was SO not true... I think. Well, the teacher kept talking and talking and talking but in my head all I could hear was blah, blah, blah, blah. I looked at the clock. Almost the end of school. It looked like the second hand of the clock was struggling to move. I wondered what it would be like if I shrunk down to mini size and sat on the second hand. It would be like a roller coaster. Today I wanted to go to the lake of shining waters. It’s not really called that though. It is called Hallimat Lake, but I didn’t like that name, so I called it my own way. Everybody says I have a wicked imagination and I daydream, but I honestly think I am normal. Uh Oh! Daydreaming AGAIN! Voice-Building Activities Who Said That? Encouraging students to find ways of making their writing sound like themselves will allow their distinct personalities to be reflected in their writing. This classroom activity can help students develop an understanding of the importance of personalization. 1.  Brainstorm a list of interesting questions you might ask someone during a casual conversation. For example, you might ask questions like these: • Oh dear, the power went out. What will you do for the next hour? • Hmmm, looks like it might rain. What do you like to do when it rains? • What is the most important thing you possess? Why? • If you could take a day off of school, what would you do instead? • If you had to make your own dinner, what would you prepare? • If you woke up and found yourself all alone in your home, what would you do? 2.  Students respond in writing to one (or more) of the questions. Make sure that they do not put their names on their work. 3.  Collect students’ writing and read a few samples aloud to the class. 4.  Students try to guess who wrote which responses. They can use everything they know about each other to try to determine the source for each piece of writing. 5.  When students find one piece easier than another to identify, discuss the specific features of the writing that helped to personalize it. For example, did the author share an aspect of their personality with us? Did the writing “just sound like him/her”? Did you recognize phrases or word combinations that they use when speaking? 6.  Repeat steps 2–6, as desired. Encourage students to make their writing as identifiable as possible, with the goal of being able to guess the author of every piece of writing.

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Writing sample by Jahnavi, age 10

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The Glowing Forest I was walking down the street. A cool breeze passed me. The sun was glowing and it was summer. It seemed like a nice day to sit down and relax, but I wanted to explore the forest right beside the vintage shop. No one dared to enter the forest. When I was little, I dreamed of exploring. But now, I was doing it in real life. I walked down the old trail. I checked my watch. I had about two hours before I needed to be home. Just enough time to explore and get back without my mom noticing me! I thought. I entered the forest cautiously. I had to shield my eyes for every step that I took. The inside of the forest was very peaceful. There were many animals such as rabbits, squirrels, deer, and many more, but they all ran away at the sight of me. Strangely, there were small, miniature houses. I touched one of them. “Hey, stop touching my house!” said a tiny voice behind me. I turned around. I almost fell over when I saw a little elf. I steadied myself. “Who are you?!” I stammered. “Oh pul-ease, can’t you see? I’m an elf. Call me Waldo.” said the elf. “Er, Waldo, can you tell me where I am?” I asked. “Well, you’re in a forest called Glowing Forest. It’s not like any other forest around here. It has the purest and freshest water, the sweetest berries, Lots of the rarest birds…” Waldo went on and on. “Alright, alright I’ve heard enough. I just need a way to get outta here.” I said. “You can’t. Once you enter, you can’t get out.” Said Waldo. “WHAT??!!” I screamed, shaking his shoulders. “Well, there is one way. You have to get three magical items which are very hard to find: The witch’s hat, the wand of power and the comb of the beauty. You have to put these items in the moon’s circle, right there. The power will open the gates and then you could go out.” said Waldo as he pointed to the moon’s circle. “Can you lead me to these treasures?” I asked. “Sure!” said Waldo…

My Personal Mentor Students can use their favorite authors as a way of recognizing how authors personalize their writing. There are many children’s authors whose style is unique and clearly identifiable as their own. Consider stories written by authors Robert Munsch or Jeff Kinney (author of Diary of a Wimpy Kid). These authors have their own special way with words, with their use of repetition or familiar phrases, and with the underlying themes of their stories. Many students can immediately recognize the writing of these and other familiar authors, in the same way that we can recognize the singing voice of a well-known recording artist. Students can use their favorite authors as a source of inspiration and try to write in a way that imitates them. Once they are able to recognize the way authors use words to reflect their distinct personalities, they can begin to explore more ways to show their own uniqueness in their writing. Writing sample by Marcus, age 10, in the style of Jeff Kinney

Dear….um…. Dearrrr! Ok I didn’t sign up for this because it’s SO hard. Let me start again: Dear whoever I’m writing to. I have a story for you. WAIT, I mean a weird story for you. This weird story I’m telling you, is about me at recess. By the way, my name is Billy. I get lonely at recess and this is how it started out. First I was playing with my friends and then all of the sudden came Ryan Bluck. He elboude [elbowed] my two friends. I had no idea what to do so I just ran away. WAIT, ran away? That’s not what happened. What really happened is that I was fighting Ryan Bluck and he had to go to the hospital because of me, I mean awesome me…. Don’t believe me? Fine. I’ll tell you the truth. I ran away. Allright, I told you the truth. Rich Prompts for Personalization When students personalize their writing, it begins to sound like them. Their unique personality shines through their words. This is a fundamental feature of writing with voice, and should be encouraged with all writing tasks. The following rich prompts provide students with an opportunity to focus on making their writing personalized. Reproducible versions of these prompts appear on pages 82–83.

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Possible Genre: Humor

My little brother was a pest! There was no other way to describe him. Today, I was going to teach him a lesson he would never forget.

This humorous prompt begins a scenario that most youngsters can relate to. Students who have younger siblings probably have first-hand experience with the aggravation, and those who don’t certainly can imagine it. This prompt allows students to role-play and “teach him a lesson he would never forget.” As students are writing, encourage them to add personal details to allow their personality to shine through. The following questions might help guide their thinking: If you had the most annoying little brother in the world (perhaps you really do), what could you do to “teach him a lesson”? What makes your younger sibling so annoying? Is there a lesson you can both learn at the end of the story? Possible Genre: Humor

Mom was late as usual. We were waiting under the big tree for her to pick us up from school. The bell had rung twenty-five minutes ago and the school yard had completely emptied out.

The reality of this prompt will allow students’ personality to be reflected through their writing. Most students can probably relate to a time when someone was late to pick them up. As they write, they can draw on their personal experiences to share their personality. Possible Genres: Adventure, Humor

Tom opened his eyes. Somewhere in the distance he heard the weather man’s voice announce, “There’ll be another two-anda-half feet of snow today. That means that all schools remain closed.”

This prompt encourages students to embrace the fantasy that school is canceled because of snow. Many students can relate to this topic, and for most it is a hope, dream, and prayer in the winter. The writers’ personalities will be reflected as they use third-person perspective to tell the story of a boy whose snowday-dream comes true. 80  

Possible Genres: Adventure, Humor

After hours and hours of preparation, I stood before the large group. I swallowed nervously and took a big breath. I tried to still my nerves. It was then that she did it again. “Loudmouth Teresa” sat at the back of the class, uttering comments under her breath. I felt my heart sink. My confidence was gone. Many students find the prospect of making a presentation in front of the class an overwhelming situation. Using this scenario, not only are students encouraged to tackle challenge head on, but also to think about the classroom bully as well. Students can draw upon their personal experiences to react to both challenges.

Possible Genres: Adventure, Humor

There we stood, shoulder to shoulder on the edge of the field. I held my breath while the two team captains stood in front of us.

Students can probably draw on personal experiences as they write about picking teams on the schoolyard. As they write they might think about these questions: Who else might be in the story? What problem might the main character be facing? How could he/she overcome it? Possible Genre: Adventure

“What do you mean, you didn’t touch it?” Dad yelled. “It wasn’t like this an hour ago, and now look at it!”

Many students can relate to getting blamed for something (whether they’re guilty or not). This prompt allows students to let their personality shine through as they create interesting characters and expand on the problem that is introduced.

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Rich Prompts for Personalization My little brother was a pest! There was no other way to describe him. Today, I was going to teach him a lesson he would never forget.

Mom was late as usual. We were waiting under the big tree for her to pick us up from school. The bell had rung twenty-five minutes ago and the school yard had completely emptied out.

Tom opened his eyes. Somewhere in the distance he heard the weather man’s voice announce, “There’ll be another two-and-a-half feet of snow today. That means that all schools remain closed.”

After hours and hours of preparation, I stood before the large group. I swallowed nervously and took a big breath. I tried to still my nerves. It was then that she did it again. “Loudmouth Teresa” sat at the back of the class, uttering comments under her breath. I felt my heart sink. My confidence was gone.

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There we stood, shoulder to shoulder on the edge of the field. I held my breath while the two team captains stood in front of us.

“What do you mean, you didn’t touch it?” Dad yelled. “It wasn’t like this an hour ago, and now look at it!”

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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9

Style

Style is the way we choose to combine our ideas with the conventions of writing to add our own special flavor. We have all seen the pendulum swing from a strong emphasis on writing conventions to complete neglect of them, and back again. The solution lies somewhere in the middle. Conventions should not be at the forefront of students’ minds while they are writing; however, they should not be so far out of mind that the writing is impossible to read. When students do not use conventional spelling, grammar, and punctuation, it becomes difficult for them to communicate their ideas effectively to others. If this breakdown in communication occurs, then the writer’s voice has been silenced. On the other hand, we don’t want to restrict our young writers to using only the words they know how to spell with certainty; we must be careful not to limit the amount of artistic freedom and risk-taking they exercise in their work. Students need to recognize the importance of conventional spelling, grammar, and punctuation, but also need to feel free to take risks, try new words, and experiment with punctuation. We need to help students use conventions as a way of strengthening their voice, not of distracting from it. When an author uses these elements of style, it can change a piece of writing from bland and confusing to clear and exciting.

When Conventions Silence Voice “Lisa’s going to make a wonderful doctor one day,” the teacher said. Year after year, my mom was given the same message. “She’s got handwriting that no one else can read.” Really? Why do you think that was so? What was I hiding behind the illegible scrawl that filled page after page of my tattered notebooks? I still find it slightly ironic that I now write professionally, when I practically failed Grade 11 Creative Writing because I had no idea how to use a semicolon or the difference between desert and dessert. I once handed in a paper on the Arctic—with the word “Arctic” misspelled through the entire piece. How is it possible to misspell the topic of my own research? Thankfully, there are solutions to my many flaws, and I have found the strategies I can use to overcome them. And for the ones I have yet to overcome, I’m thankful for my editor who does know how to use a semicolon and the difference between desert and dessert. However, for many kids, conventions have silenced their writing voice. They struggle with conventional spelling, have difficulty organizing their thoughts into complete sentences, or are unsure how to use punctuation effectively to bring meaning to their words. How can we help them express their ideas, share 84  

their voice, take risks as writers, and do it all in a way that lets others interpret it? What a tough challenge. Completely dismissing conventions results in writers who are unable to communicate effectively with others. However, placing strict requirements on student writing—that all words need to be correct and students must strive for perfection—is incredibly limiting, and will make students hesitate or refuse to take risks with their writing. Like most things, I think the solution lies somewhere in the middle, the balance between demanding accuracy and valuing risk-taking. As students are experimenting with words and working to find their writing voice, they need the opportunity to play with their writing. On the other hand, when work is being published for sharing, then it needs to be conventionally correct. When to emphasize creativity and when to focus on accuracy depends on the stage of writing, as well as on the learning goals we have for our students at the time. If we want students to try their hand at wordsmithing, writing with passion and creativity, then we need to cut them a little slack on writing conventions. If we demand perfection at all times, students will stick to their comfort zone and deliver work that is conventionally correct but perhaps devoid of innovation. However, they need to know that work that has been selected to be published and shared must be conventionally accurate. For students who are struggling with their writing because their command of writing conventions is weak, we need to find the middle ground in their learning between taking risks and recognizing and correcting their errors. We have all met students who find it difficult to spell words with accuracy. It might be helpful to ask students like this to select three words they would like help spelling as they write. That way they are not faced with an overwhelming list of corrections every time they write. If students keep a record of the words they have received help with (by writing them in the margins of their writing books), they will be able to quickly refer to them should they need to use them again. With this approach, students maintain control over their writing, learn the importance of recognizing their errors, and begin to correct some of the words they are struggling with. Style: More Than Conventions When students add style to their writing, they can strengthen their message. However, some students might need a caution: Style should support the message, not distract from it. When students try to include too many different stylistic elements in their writing, it may seem too flashy, and the message might be lost.

While conventions are an important element in conveying style in a piece of writing, there are other tools writers use to add style to their work. By using ­literary devices as well as different presentation approaches, students can further enrich their message. The use of creative presentation tools allows students to place emphasis on certain words, or use an interesting font (style or color) to direct the reader’s attention to specific details. Such literary devices as metaphor, onomatopoeia, and alliteration allow students to explore figurative speech, play with words, and combine words in creative ways. In this way, style is not only the way words are visually represented, but also the way they sound when read aloud.

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Writing sample by Leila, age 11: Using conventions and elements of style to strengthen the message

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Monster Nature It was autumn, the sun was shining, the air felt breezy and the leaves on the trees were red, yellow and orange. “Ahhh” I said as I collapsed onto a pile of leaves. Suddenly I heard some rustling in the distance. “WHO IS THERE!!!!!?????????” I yelled. Nothing answered just the sound SCRICH, SCRICH and more rustling. I gulped. What was I supposed to do? I quickly searched my brain for an answer but my own thoughts started to haunt me. I walked closer and closer to the rustling noise. Suddenly an enormous monster emerged from the Earth’s crust. The monster was glazed in a deep layer of what looked like oil. It pointed to the sky and all the beautiful colors of leaves were washed away by turning into a disgusting blanket of oil. I was stuck in the mess. “Who are you?! What are you doing?! Why are you dong this to me!?” I asked. The monster did not answer. I quickly realized that I was sinking deeper and deeper into the oil…The monster had a sly grin on her face that slowly turned into a faint evil laugh then the laugh got louder and louder. “For years I have seen my planet suffer” said the monster “From what!? Why are you doing this?!” I asked angrily. “Well you see that stump over there? That is where I work.” said the monster. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! How is turning this… is turning the Earth’s crust into this………this…..this…... What is this anyway?!” I asked angrily. “I am Mother Nature and this is your disgusting filth that comes out of your cars and power plants then goes into the air!” “It’s our energy source and hey; I thought Mother Nature wore white clothes that were made of 100 % feather!” I said “I don’t care about your energy source!! And FYI when I get mad my feathers are forced to turn into this dirt.” she said bursting into tears. “What’s wrong?” I said “Everything! And now everyone will suffer, just like me. They will be forced to mutate into fish-like human eels that live in their own filth and devour any thing they can sink their teeth

into because the food will be scarce!’’ Then she pushed in front of her sending more of the pollution towards other countries. All of humanity would be no more. And the monster? She sank into the stump with a shrill laugh and rubbing her hands in an evil way. Writing sample by Farozaan, age 9: using passage of time to create suspense

I was alone in the old house. I could hear the wind whistling in the attic. I looked around suddenly as I heard a loud thud in the basement. I slowly backed away from the basement door. I took a quick glance at the clock: 12:00. Time was running out. I quickly grabbed my bag and started to walk towards the basement. No, don’t do it, I thought. I had no choice. I slowly reached for the doorknob when suddenly the door started to shake. I quickly moved my hands away and made a run for it. I hid in the old family room when I heard the door burst. The beast had awoken. I took my last glance at the clock: 12:30, just in time. The fun had just begun. L iterary D evices a n d M o re

Literary devices include a wide range of strategies that writers use to support their author’s craft. These include things like metaphors and similes, hyperbole, onomatopoeia, and alliteration. Sometimes considered a “play on words,” each kind of literary device is used to enhance writing and create meaning. Alliteration: a series of words with the same initial sound, or the repetition of a particular sound in the first syllable of a series of words. For example: The snake slithered silently. Hyperbole: a figure of speech that involves exaggeration. It is intended to create a strong impression or express strong feelings, but is not to be taken literally. For example: The box weighed a ton. Metaphor: a comparison in which something is said to be another thing. For example: Her eyes were sparkling diamonds. Simile: a comparison between two things using the words “like,” “as,” or “than.” For example: He swims like a fish! Onomatopoeia: words that imitate the sound that they describe. For example: The bee buzzed and the cat meowed. Introduce students to literary devices and encourage them to include them in their writing. They might find them useful for creating vivid imagery, eliciting a mood, or enhancing their writing with interesting figures of speech.

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Voice-Building Activities What I Meant to Say Was… While students might not need to know the difference between a metaphor and hyperbole, they can begin to experiment with figurative language. 1.  Begin by creating a chart with students. On one side, list interesting figures of speech students have discovered in their personal reading. 2.  On the other side, write the intended meaning of the phrase. 3.  Students can continue to add to the list as they encounter new figures of speech. They can refer to it in order to add figurative language to their own ­writing.

Writing sample by Hajer, age 10: Experimenting with literary devices

F i g u re o f speech

W hat I mea n t t o say was …

I could eat a horse

I’m really hungry

As blind as a bat

Can’t see very well

Boats for shoes

Really big shoes

Coming up roses

It’s all good!

I crept down the old wooden stairs. My eyes searched the darkness. My heart seemed to stop, as I was standing face to face with my greatest fear.

It was a huge red dragon. The dragon had yellow, glowing eyes. It had feet that tomped so loudly that all of North America could hear. I screamed when I saw the dragon. The dragon got as silent as a mouse. My heart was pounding like a hammer was hitting it. The dragon started to blow fire on me… Focus Shifters A writer can use strategies to place emphasis on different words. This allows the reader to “hear” the sentence with the intonation intended by the author. Emphasizing a key word or phrase can change the way the reader interprets a sentence. This not only affects the voice, but can also have dramatic impact on the meaning. Consider the following examples using this sentence: “Jane, you can’t wear that to school!” laughed Matthew. “Jane, you can’t wear that to school!” laughed Matthew.

With emphasis on the word “you,” this sentence implies that someone else could wear the item in question, but not Jane. It makes the reader wonder why she can’t wear the specific item. Perhaps it’s her brother’s uniform, her older sister’s skirt, or her mother’s suit jacket. Clearly, someone else could wear this item, but not Jane.

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“Jane, you can’t wear that to school!” laughed Matthew.

With emphasis on the word “that,” the sentence implies that the item is inappropriate for school. Perhaps it’s a superhero costume or a bridesmaid’s dress. Whatever the case, the focus is shifted from the person wearing the item to the item itself. “Jane, you can’t wear that to school!” laughed Matthew.

In this final example, the focus is shifted to the location. The item in question is not appropriate to wear to school. It is something that belongs to Jane, and is not out of character for her to wear; she simply cannot wear it to school. Perhaps it’s her pyjamas, a bathing suit, or another item that would be inappropriate at school. In these examples, the meaning of the sentence shifts depending on the way the words are emphasized. Students see how such a simple strategy as emphasizing one word in a sentence can affect the reader’s interpretation in such a profound way. 1.  Brainstorm a list of sentences and write them on chart paper. 2.  Ask students to read the sentences aloud, placing emphasis on different key words. 3.  Discuss how the meaning is changed as the focus shifts. Writing sample by Alvira, age 10

Dear Journal, I have very important advice if you want a pet chose any pet but a goat!!! Not because there creepy or because your moms won’t let you bring him in the house ’cause she’s afraid that he’ll chew her hair off. But, because he will be only be one thing that is trouble. TROUBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do I say so? Because I have actually tried to train a goat and it did not go any where near well. It all started when I said: “Mom how come I can’t have a pet? I swear I will take any kind of pet. Even a spider and you know my fear of spiders I’ll do anything.” Anyway I’m writing this to tell everyone who has ever wanted a pet you don’t want one especially a goat. From Flat to Fabulous Teacher Farhana Panju uses this activity to help her students transform their writing “from flat to fabulous.” 1.  Provide students with a paragraph that is lacking voice. See examples on pages 94 and 95. 2.  Encourage students to rewrite the paragraphs, adding their own flair to it. Through this activity, students are able to see how different voices can change the feel of the writing.

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Rich Prompts for Style See pages 96–97 for reproducible versions of these prompts.

Possible Genre: Suspense

The following rich prompts use various elements of style and literary devices to create a mood for the piece of writing. Although it might not be necessary for students to know the differences between literary devices, or even the names of them, they can experiment with the effect literary devices have when writing. Conventional elements, such as spelling and punctuation, are skills that can be embedded in most writing experiences. I looked at the clock. The seconds were ticking by quickly. My hands started to shake as I tried to refocus my attention. It was a matter of life and death.

This prompt creates a suspenseful mood by introducing a race against the clock. The phrase “a matter of life and death” is a figure of speech that emphasizes the importance of the situation. As students are writing, the following questions might help guide their thinking: What situation might you be in where you’re under pressure and finding it difficult to concentrate? Is it really a matter of “life and death” or is this a figure of speech? Possible Genres: Suspense, Adventure

The wind tore at Jacob’s clothing with sharp fingers and the icy cold chilled him to the core. The freezing pellets of ice were like thousands of needles. He struggled to his feet knowing that the only way he would survive was to keep moving. In this prompt, the phrase “the wind tore at his clothing with sharp fingers” is an anthropomorphism (the attribution of human characteristics to nonhuman things), and “pellets of ice were like thousands of needles” is a simile (comparing two unlike things using the word “like”). These literary devices help to create a strong mood and provide graphic mental images for the reader. Encourage students to notice interesting literary devices in the writing of others and to take risks to try to include them in their own writing.

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Possible Genres: Humor, Suspense, Adventure

I had hit rock bottom. My knees were bleeding, my jacket was torn, and now a dog was licking my face. Could life get any worse?

This rich prompt includes the figure of speech in “hit rock bottom,” and a rhetorical question in “Could life get any worse?” As students are writing, the following questions might help guide their thinking: Can you imagine being in a terrible situation? What brought you to this point? What will happen to make it worse or better? Possible Genre: Adventure, Suspense

The ship was due to arrive at noon. It had never been late before. Mr. Langly paced back and forth on the dock, examining his watch more frequently with every passing minute.

This rich prompt creates the mood of suspense with the passing of time. Encourage students to use their own style to enrich their writing by using literary devices. While students are writing, the following questions might be helpful in guiding their thinking: What was on the ship that was so important? Why was the ship late? Why was Mr. Langly so anxious? Possible Genre: Adventure

The water made a sucking sound. The gentle waves pulled back into the depth of the ocean, revealing the damp sand below. Fingers of white foam moved farther and farther from the beach. Standing on the shore, it felt like all of nature was holding its breath. This rich prompt creates a suspenseful mood by describing the beginning stages of a tsunami. It is full of style and figures of speech: e.g., phrases like “fingers of white foam” and “all of nature was holding its breath.”

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Possible Genres: Humor

The fruit flies were a thick black cloud. Davis swatted his way to his locker and entered his secret combination. He pulled the lock open and a million rotten bananas tumbled onto his ­sneakers.

This prompt begins with a metaphor (i.e., “fruit flies were a thick black cloud”) and also includes hyperbole (i.e., “a million rotten bananas”). Together, these help to create a strong visual image. As students write, they might enjoy developing Davis’s character, as well as introducing new characters to the story. Possible Genre: Humor, Adventure

The clock ticked loudly in the silent room. The page was blank. Sebastian looked around his classroom, hoping desperately for some clue as to the right answer. He looked to the clock once more. Time was almost up and his page was still blank. In this prompt, suspense is created with a sense of urgency. The “ticking clock” and the character’s helplessness begin to set the mood for the piece.

Writing sample by Katrina, age 11

The clock ticked loudly in the silent room. The page was blank. Sebastian looked around his classroom, hoping desperately for some clue as to the right answer. He looked to the clock once more. Time was almost up and his page was still blank.

His hands were shaky and his brain seemed frozen with fear. He took a deep breath in hoping that nothing else could go wrong. He looked at his page. “That’s it!” Sebastian exclaimed. Everyone stared at him. He quickly looked back down at his paper. His face went beet red. Suddenly Mr. Hicklemin boomed: “Five more minutes.” Sebastian’s hands started to write. He was so embarrassed that he was the one with a blank page. Mr. Hicklemin walked slowly to his desk. He glared at Sebastian. He pointed his finger right on his page and then walked away. “Time’s up!” 92  

Possible Genres: Fantasy, Adventure

“Look, it’s got five leaves!” Maggie exclaimed as she clutched the unusual clover in her hand. “If a four-leaf clover is lucky, what do you think this means?”

In this prompt, italics are used to emphasise the word “this.” This simple focus shifter helps the character’s words have more meaning. As students write, the following questions might help guide their thinking: What would you think if you found a five-leaf clover? What might happen to Maggie because of her unusual find?

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From FLAT to Fa b ulous by Adding Voice FLAT The Basketball Game There were ten seconds left in the championship game. Our team was down by one point. We were tired because it had been a long game but we were also excited. The coach had called a time-out and we were in a huddle. The coach decided that I would take the final shot. When we got back on the court, Tim passed the ball to Kyle. Kyle dribbled the ball and then passed it to me. With only three seconds left I took a jumpshot from the corner and the ball went in the net. We won the game and everyone was happy.

Fabulous

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From FLAT to Fa b ulous by Adding Voice FLAT The Snow Storm I woke up this morning and looked out the window. I saw that it was snowing and there was lots of snow on the ground too. I got dressed, put on my winter coat, boots, gloves and hat, and went outside to shovel the driveway. The wind was blowing hard. It was difficult to see. There was lots of snow everywhere I looked. Down the street I saw the snowplow coming to clear the snow from the street. As it passed by my house it left a big pile of snow at the end of my driveway. I continued to shovel and then went back inside where it was warm.

Fabulous

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Rich Prompts for Style I looked at the clock. The seconds were ticking by quickly. My hands started to shake as I tried to refocus my attention. It was a matter of life and death.

The wind tore at Jacob’s clothing with sharp fingers and the icy cold chilled him to the core. The freezing pellets of ice were like thousands of needles. He struggled to his feet knowing that the only way he would survive was to keep moving.

I had hit rock bottom. My knees were bleeding, my jacket was torn, and now a dog was licking my face. Could life get any worse?

The ship was due to arrive at noon. It had never been late before. Mr. Langly paced back and forth on the dock, examining his watch more frequently with every passing minute.

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The water made a sucking sound. The gentle waves pulled back into the depth of the ocean, revealing the damp sand below. Fingers of white foam moved farther and farther from the beach. Standing on the shore, it felt like all of nature was holding its breath.

The fruit flies were a thick black cloud. Davis swatted his way to his locker and entered his secret combination. He pulled the lock open and a million rotten bananas tumbled onto his sneakers.

The clock ticked loudly in the silent room. The page was blank. Sebastian looked around his classroom, hoping desperately for some clue as to the right answer. He looked to the clock once more. Time was almost up and his page was still blank.

“Look, it’s got five leaves!” Maggie exclaimed as she clutched the unusual clover in her hand. “If a four-leaf clover is lucky, what do you think this means?”

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10

Voice in Minutes a Day

Everyone who knows me well recognizes that there are three main things that consume most of my waking hours: teaching, writing, and supporting my son’s budding soccer career. When my son first began playing soccer as a rambunctious four-year-old, the rules were simple: kick the ball and try to get it in the other team’s goal. As parents, we stood on the sidelines laughing as the mob of excited youngsters swarmed the ball. They would surround it in a large scrum and all kick profusely until the ball somehow managed to make its way free from the madly swinging legs. Then, all of a sudden, one player would take off with the ball, kicking it and chasing it, as all the members of both teams ran in hot pursuit. They would try to overtake the player in possession of the ball in order to recover control, regardless of which team they were on. As the years passed, my son became much more competitive in nature and started to understand the sport in greater depth. Now a “highly skilled” nineyear-old, he positions himself on the field as a veritable wall of defence. He has a much deeper understanding of the game, its rules, and the strategies he needs to use in order for his team to be successful. No longer is it sufficient for them to kick the ball and try to get it in the other team’s goal. Although that remains the basic principle behind the sport, the rules have expanded. Both rules and players have become more sophisticated, and my son is able to think and analyze the sport from a much more knowledgeable perspective. He has developed physical and mental skills that allow him to play strategically and think analytically about the game. How has this happened? Not by sheer coincidence. For a number of years he has been a part of a team that is coached brilliantly by soccer experts. They practice every week, sometimes as frequently as four times a week. At each practice, the players review skills they have learned, set new goals for themselves, and work toward these skills, which include ball handling, passing, shooting, and so on. The players have learned to work as a team by relying on the feedback, partnership, and mentorship of their coaches and the other players. They set goals for themselves and strive to achieve them—my son finally reached his goal of 15 keep-ups in a row, something to be proud of, for sure! What does soccer have to do with voice? Just as players must have a chance to hone the skills of soccer, our students need frequent opportunities to practice their writing skills, reflect on their learning, and have ongoing coaching, mentorship, and partnering. To be a “voice coach,” you need to provide your students with opportunities to try out their new skills, share their writing with others, reflect on their work, and set new goals for themselves. It’s not enough for a coach to just hand a soccer player a ball and ask him or her to play, it requires frequent ongoing skill-building. The same is true for writing. We can not just give 98  

the ­students tools and expect them to automatically apply them to their writing. They need practice and ongoing feedback. As young soccer players develop stamina, so do our young writers. We need to help our students write with passion and perseverance. They can build their writing stamina in the same way as they build their physical stamina: initially, students might not write very much in ten or fifteen minutes but, with guided practice, they will increase not only their skills, but their pace too. Within a short time, your students will be filling their pages with their ideas. While they might have complained at the beginning about not knowing what to write about, soon they are begging for just a few more minutes to work on their writing. As young soccer players become more reflective and set goals for themselves, so should our writers. As writing coaches, we need to foster their creativity, build their skills, provide them with time to practice, allow opportunities for collaboration and sharing, and provide ongoing coaching and mentorship so they can become reflective writers. In the same way that my son’s soccer coaches continue to refine his understanding of the sport, we, too, must continue to refine and challenge our students.

Backward and Upside-Down Lesson Design A typical lesson plan has three components: the teacher introduces a concept with direct instruction; then students practice; and finally the teacher assesses or evaluates their learning. What would happen if we turned that lesson plan backward and upside-down? Instead of starting with a heavy instructional component for which the teacher is the imparter of knowledge, what if we let the students’ writing and learning guide the direction of the instruction? What if we started with the students’ work and used that as the basis for our instruction? What if we taught our students how to share and provide feedback to each other so that, instead of having one writing coach, they had many writing partners? It would be just like a team—all working together to help each other work toward a shared goal. What if we changed the typical lesson components of Teach, Practice, Assess to Introduce, Try, Reflect/Feedback, Instruct. This inverted lesson design begins with the students writing and ends with them reflecting on their leaning and setting new goals for themselves. If we start a lesson with what our students know and what they are able to do, then we can use our instructional time as a way of teaching them the skills that they actually need to know, instead of the ones that we think they might. We can use the instructional time as a way of using student-generated work as exemplars, we can work with our students to reflect on the task, and they can think about personal learning goals that they’d like to work on next time. We can use authentic opportunities to guide students, redirect their thinking, and continue to help shape their abilities as authors. Consider the following example of an inverted lesson: 1. Introduce: Students are introduced to an engaging writing task. 2. Try: Students write for ten to fifteen minutes. 3. Reflect/Feedback: Students share their work with partners and provide oral feedback to each other. They comment on things they thought made the writing strong and pose questions to the writer that could help the writer focus on future writing goals. 4. Instruct: The students gather together with the teacher to reflect on the task and share their work. Through this dialogue, the teacher is able to draw the  99

If a students record a personal writing goal on the top of the next page their writing books, then the next time they begin to write they’ll be reminded of the goal they set for themselves.

students’ attention to strategies that were working well and to provide suggestions about how students can try to further strengthen their writing. After the collaborative instructional time, students take a few minutes to reflect on their work and their conversations with the class to determine a personal goal for their next writing task.

Building Voice in Just Minutes a Day Building voice in students’ writing is possible in as little as 15 minutes a day. If you develop a consistent daily routine, you will see dramatic results relatively quickly. Students need regular opportunities to identify the voice in mentor texts, lessons that explicitly teach the elements of voice, frequent ongoing peer and teacher feedback, and regular goal-setting. A simple daily routine might include 1.  Beginning with a rich prompt for inspiration 2.  Ten to fifteen minutes of sustained independent writing 3.  Peer-sharing and feedback 4.  Modeling or direct instruction 5.  Individual goal-setting This lesson design allows teachers to ensure that their instruction is purposeful and authentic. You will be able to monitor students’ learning and immediately tailor your instruction to suit your students’ strengths and needs. Students see themselves represented in the learning that is taking place, they understand why you are teaching the lesson, and most importantly they can see how it applies to their learning. An approach to teaching that is backward and upside-down places the students, rather than the teacher, at the forefront of the learning. Students at the forefront?—this certainly shouldn’t seem backward or upside-down! Imagine a classroom where students eagerly enter from recess. They pause to read the note on the board and then hurry to their desks. Some gather around a community table, others sprawl on the floor, some turn on their personal computers— they are all immediately engaged. The teacher interrupts them for a brief minute to read the writing prompts aloud and set the possible context for the writing tasks. The students are aware of the fact that they have multiple choices: they can select one of the writing prompts on the board and continue writing; they might continue to work on something that they started at a previous time; or they may write about anything else of their own choosing—what the teacher describes as “finding your own inspiration.” Today there are two written prompts for the students to use in their search for inspiration. Occasionally there is a written prompt and an image captured from the Internet, or even an interesting piece of music playing in the background—but not today. Today there are two written prompts. No matter what elements are presented, the students have lots of choices in their source of inspiration.   As the students begin to write, the teacher joins the group at the community table. She pulls out her laptop and begins to write too, simply overcome with inspiration. The students’ writing is focused and independent, only interrupted by the occasional giggle as they muse at their own words. After a few minutes, the teacher asks the students to indicate how many more minutes they’d like to continue writing. They hold up one finger for every minute they’d like…to a maximum of five. Almost everyone requests the maximum five minutes. At the end of 100  

this time they struggle to find a stopping point, and beg for more time.   The teacher puts on music as a signal to the students that their writing time has come to an end…for now. The music starts quietly then builds, as the students all begin moving around the classroom, moving to the beat of the music. Some even choreograph little dances as the room comes instantly alive with movement and noise. The music pauses and students find buddies.   The sharing begins with one student sharing his/her personal writing goal, noted on the top of the writing-book page. The room fills with the buzzing noise of students reading their work to each other. The teacher is free to move around the room, listening and recording observations. Once students have read their work, their partners respond with feedback. Each partner comments on the strengths of the work and the way the writer is working toward individual goals. The conversations are brief and yet insightful. After more sharing the music starts again, quietly at first, then building to another moment of dancing. Again the music stops, and students immediately buddy-up and begin to share their personal goals and writing. This time, instead of observing the students’ interactions, the teacher partners with one student. The student shares his writing goal, and then his writing. The entire interaction takes less than two minutes, but the teacher is able to record the student’s personal learning goal, provide him with oral feedback, and record a few notes that would be helpful at a later time. One more time the music starts and the students all return to their desks.   At this time the teacher, bursting with excitement, asks if she can read her writing to the class. She shares her writing and asks the students to provide feedback. She chooses to draw their attention to a specific sentence or phrase that contains strong voice or vividly descriptive words. There is time for another student or two to share their work with the whole class. They begin by sharing their personal learning goals, and then read their writing. Other students offer feedback and the students engage in a dialogue about the work sample. The teacher joins in the conversation—not as an expert, but as another author, one who has suggestions and ideas just like all the other writers in the room. She shares her observations about the writing, drawing everyone’s attention to the particular strengths of the pieces, the author’s craft, and the strategies used to make the piece work. Perhaps she has a question or two, or maybe a suggestion that might make the piece work a little better. Again, these interactions are succinct but thoughtful.   Finally the teacher asks the students to reflect on their writing and select a personal writing goal for their next piece of writing. They can continue working on the goal that they currently have, or they might set a new goal for themselves. The teacher redirects the students to the chart of success criteria posted in the classroom. The students pause to consider their progress and record their goals for the next day. They do this at the top of their next page—that way it will serve as a reminder when they begin writing tomorrow.

The entire process described here took less than half an hour, but the teacher had countless opportunities to observe students writing and sharing their writing with peers, to provide informal feedback to students about their learning, and to model successful writing behaviors, attitudes, and strategies with learners. Imagine the possibilities in making this a daily routine: students independently monitoring their learning and setting goals for themselves, naturally seeking inspiration for their writing, providing feedback to their peers, and engaging in ongoing dialogue. The routine engages students who are eager to write, eager

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to share, and eager to learn; students writing with enthusiasm, finding inspiration, and filling the page with their voice. Did you identify the inverted lesson design? Did you see the Introduce, Try, Reflect, and Instruct pattern? Can you imagine how powerful this routine would be on a daily basis? A classroom like this would enable a community of writers to support each other by sharing their strengths, recognizing a daily authentic audience, receiving frequent feedback, and setting individual goals. In a classroom like this, the ownership of learning is placed on the students rather than on the teacher. The students become self-reflective, autonomous learners who are able to recognize their own strengths and the strengths of others, who seek advice and input from their peers, and who set and reflect on their personal learning goals. The teacher’s job is this: • provide rich writing opportunities • teach students how to engage in authentic conversations • create a classroom where trust and respect are fundamental • teach students to value their writing and the writing of others • monitor students’ learning in order to provide valuable instruction In the classroom example, the students had countless opportunities to • find the voice in the writing of others • experiment with their own writers’ voice • engage in dialogues about their writing and the writing of their peers • set personal goals for themselves as writers The Voice of a Mentor Think of your favorite author. What is it about this writer that makes his or her work so special to you? What makes the voice powerful? Mentor texts can be powerful tools for teaching students to detect writing voice and to identify the strategies the author uses in order to make the writing effective. This is an opportunity to strengthen the reading–writing connection. When we use mentor texts as samples for students, they begin to think of ways they can emulate the style of other writers. In studying powerful mentor texts, students begin to see how the elements of voice are used in effective ways to convey strong messages. They might notice interesting word choices or emotional cues, or perhaps even the creative dialogue that a particular author might use. This awareness of voice in mentor texts allows students to begin to think about the different ways they can add voice to their own writing. When reading aloud to students, try to draw their attention to the author’s use of voice in writing. You might reread a phrase or sentence that is particularly effective in conveying a strong emotion or helping readers envision the story in their minds. When you explicitly draw students’ attention to the strategies that the author has used to build voice in the story, students are more likely to employ similar strategies to bring out their own writer’s voice. Considering the inverted lesson design as a model for strengthening students’ writing voice, you might choose to follow writing time with a modeled reading lesson. In this way, you can make explicit connections between the skills your students are working on in their writing and the texts you are reading aloud. For example, if students are working particularly hard at making dialogue come to life, during a read-aloud you could take a brief moment to draw students’ ­attention to the way an author creates different personalities through the 102  

Making the connection between the texts students read and the texts they write can help students see the voice-building strategies in action. When they are able to identify how “real” authors use their voice, they will become more likely to apply these strategies to their own writing.

­ ialogue of characters. Similarly, if students are working to develop a consistent d perspective in their writing, you might draw their attention to the author’s use of perspective by asking questions: Who is telling the story? How do you know that? Why do you think the author chose to tell the story from this perspective? What would the story be like if someone else was telling the story? These types of questions direct the students’ attention to the author’s craft and encourage them to start thinking about how they can apply similar strategies to their own writing. As important as mentor texts are, there is a mentor whose presence and attitude are even more powerful in helping young writers embrace writing. That mentor is you! The attitude that you bring to writing will carry over to your students. If you view writing as a task you assign your students, then they no doubt will consider it a chore. If, however, you view writing as a brief moment in your day to seize inspiration and, if only for a moment, to transport yourself into another time and place, a place in your wildest imagination—then surely your students will begin to see writing in this light too. If our students see us as engaged writers, eager to record our ideas, willing to take risks, finding humor in our own jokes, and exploring creative use of words, then they will find themselves exploring these possibilities as well. As a mentor, you show that writing is important, but more important than your writing ability is your writing attitude. When students see teachers eager and engaged in writing of their own, they will also embrace writing. As a writing mentor, do you need to write with your students every day? No, that would not be the most effective use of your time. Perhaps you can write with your students one or two days a week, and use the remaining days to informally observe your students’ writing habits. Perhaps two days a week you could have a small group working at a community table with you, and the remaining days observe the class as a whole. Regardless of how you organize your writing time, consider including time to model the passion for writing. Clear Learning Goals and Success Criteria

Success criteria are the sets of skills that can be demonstrated through a piece of writing. These are the indicators of success. When we establish success criteria with students, they are more likely to understand what is expected of them and to have personal ownership in the process.

In my book The Write Beginning, I stress the importance of setting clear expectations with students through the use of exemplars and student-generated success criteria. When students clearly understand the form of writing and the expectations that we have for them, then they will meet with greater success. Through the use of teacher modeling and exemplars, students can work with the teacher to deconstruct a piece of writing and identify the features that made it successful. These features become the success criteria or targets for students to include in their own writing. When shown how to explicitly deconstruct mentor texts, students are able to understand the individual elements that go into making the complete piece of writing. This is key when introducing students to new forms of writing, as well as for helping them strengthen their writing through building their writing voice. We all seem to be able to recognize a good piece of writing when we encounter one. But are we able to express exactly what it is about the writing that makes it good? Are we fascinated by the author’s use of descriptive imagery or the creative ideas behind the story? Is it the author’s voice and personality coming through in the writing that has caught our attention? Has the writer been able to engage and capture the reader’s attention through interesting word choice and surprising elements? Perhaps writers have provided us with some deeper insight into themselves or helped us empathize with a situation that is near and dear to their  103

hearts. How do we begin to define these “good” qualities with success criteria that are tangible for students? We need to provide students with high-level samples of writing and help them articulate what they find appealing about them. Students will begin to see authentic ways of integrating a range of strategies in their writing and will come to think, “I see what the author is doing and what effect it is creating. I can try to do this too.” As we begin to create success criteria with students, it is important to remember that we are setting learning goals and targets. The success criteria need to be reflective of the skills we are actively teaching them. The process of constructing success criteria should be done jointly by teacher and students, but the teacher needs to remain cognizant of the learning goals set out for the class and assist students in defining them as learning targets. The establishment of success criteria is an important step when developing self-regulating, autonomous learners. Through this process, students are able to develop a clear understanding of the expectations of the writing task. They are able to develop a set of targets that they will strive to include in their own writing, and that will serve as a way to measure their success. The Write Beginning focuses on the use of success criteria for different forms of writing. The success criteria are grouped into four areas of learning: Knowledge, Thinking, Communication, and Application: K n o wled g e : W hat Yo u W rite

The knowledge the writer has about the form of writing. This is the way writers use the different elements of a piece to develop and express their ideas. T hi n ki n g : W hat Yo u S ay

This represents the students’ ideas. It is the richness of creativity that students bring to the piece. It is the creative and critical process of determining which ideas are important to conveying the message of the piece. Through their thinking, students develop their ideas and organize their thoughts in a logical, sequential process that is clear for the reader. The richness of the thinking comes with the development of the ideas the writer brings to the piece. Co mm u n icati o n : T he Way Yo u S ay I t

Communication is the way the author is able to express ideas to the reader. When students are effective in communicating through their writing, they are able to consider the audience for the piece, select appropriate words, and organize their ideas into smooth flowing sentences and paragraphs. As a part of effective communication, students need to make sure that their spelling, grammar, and punctuation are conventionally correct. A pplicati o n : T he Way Yo u Co n n ect to I t

As writers, we bring our prior experiences and knowledge to each piece. We are able to apply our understanding of how writing works to make our writing stronger. It is through the Application area of learning that students are able to demonstrate their connections to the world. Students are able to illustrate their writing with rich connections to facts or personal experiences that give the reader a sense of the author’s world. Typically, voice has fallen under the area of communication. Voice represents the way the author expresses ideas to the reader. However, voice also has c­ onnections 104  

to the other areas of learning as well. Consider the organization and richness of ideas involved in Thinking—they are essential to students being able to express their voice fully. Also consider the way authors personalize and connect to their writing, which might fall under the category of Application. While it would be simple to slot voice into the single area of Communication, we have to acknowledge that it is a complex skill. While voice might seem difficult to define, defining it as only part of Communication is also limiting. Voice is the way writers take all their understanding of writing and synthesize it to make it their own. Writers need to combine the richness of their ideas, their personal experiences, and their own style in order to develop their voice. When we develop success criteria with students, they can begin to identify specific elements that they value in the writing of others and begin to apply them to their own. While there are times when establishing success criteria can seem like a daunting task, we can simplify it by encouraging students to focus their attention on a few specific elements at a time. If we set too many goals at once, it becomes too overwhelming for students. There are times when we might choose to set success criteria that focus on the principle elements in a text form, and other times when we might choose to focus on specific style elements of writing. Success criteria should be tempered by the learning targets we have for our students, as well as their age and ability. Students should create success criteria for their writing in order to have a clear understanding of features that are important to good writing. This can apply to elements for specific forms of writing, but can also apply to the voice-building strategies. Students can consider ways that they can enrich their writing through their voice. Consider some of the following sets of success criteria constructed by students: In my writing, I will •  Include descriptive words •  Use an “author’s voice” •  Create a mood (suspense, excitement, etc). •  Use different types of sentences •  Organize my ideas in a sequence that makes sense •  Make sure my ideas are connected to the writing prompt (or my source of   inspiration) •  Use quotation marks if someone is speaking We are learning how to develop VOICE in our writing by •  Using words to create a mood •  Including emotional cues for our readers •  Becoming a wordsmith (using interesting words) •  Organizing our ideas in a way that makes sense •  Making sure that our writing “sounds like us” Courtesy of F. Panju

In my writing, I will make sure that •  My writing matches the prompt •  I have included creative and unique ideas •  I have used lots of details to help the reader visualize •  I have used interesting and descriptive word choice (adjectives, adverbs, specific   nouns) •  The reader can hear the author’s voice through in my writing  105

•  I have used dialogue to create realistic characters •  I have correct conventions (capitals, periods, spelling, punctuation, etc.)

Success criteria help students keep track of their learning. They allow them to focus on specific learning targets and help them monitor their success. When we involve our students in the creation of success criteria, we encourage them to become active participants in the learning and assessment processes. They are able to monitor their own learning, evaluate their progress, and set goals for themselves. The use of success criteria allows students to become self-regulated. They have a clear understanding of their learning targets and the things they need to do in order to meet with success. When we involve students in the creation of success criteria, they have ownership over their learning and see themselves as active participants in learning, rather than passive observers. They perceive their learning as authentic and valuable because they understand the purpose behind it. They have seen the skills they are learning in action in mentor texts and understand their importance. They are more likely to be able to measure their success accurately and set realistic goals for themselves because their learning targets are clear. When we involve our students in all areas of learning—setting success criteria, monitoring their learning, and setting personal goals—we empower them to become self­regulated learners. Inspiration Inspiration is one of those crucial elements in the artistic process that is difficult to define and often ignored. As a writer myself, I willingly admit that I would not be able to accomplish any writing task without inspiration. If I didn’t have the internal drive to write, not only would it be a painful process, but the writing either wouldn’t get done or would be of very poor quality. Think of writing report cards. Now, there is a writing task for which we typically have little inspiration! Can you teach students to be inspired? Inspiration is unique for each writer. While it may not be possible to explicitly teach inspiration, we can certainly model it, nurture it, and lead students in a direction that will help them to find their own. Inspiration is possibly one of the most neglected elements in students’ writing; however, it is perhaps the most crucial component of successful writing. Often students are faced with writing tasks that are flat, boring, and uninspiring. How, then, can we ask them to find their own inspiration in something that has so little? Write about the first snowfall. Write about your summer vacation. Write about what you would say if you met a new friend. Seriously, would you find these topics inspiring? Would you have the uncontrollable desire to grab a pencil and fill the page with creative ideas about one of these ideas? Write about anything you want. Ugh, even worse! Not only do students faced with such writing tasks lack a starting point, they don’t even know where to start looking. Although the prospect of teaching inspiration might seem ridiculous, being inspired is something that we can model and foster. By introducing students to topics for writing that are rich and engaging, we are able to jumpstart their thinking. When we provide students with writing prompts that “hook” them, they become eager to write. They need to know what happens next and are inspired to continue writing to work that out. The ultimate goal is to provide students with so many rich, engaging, inspiration-provoking ideas that they begin to find 106  

their own sources of inspiration. Like any teaching–learning process, it begins with teacher modeling, continues through guided practice, and results in independent skill development. Through a process similar to the gradual release of responsibility, teachers might not be able to explicitly teach inspiration, but can lead students in the direction where they will be able to discover it on their own. Peer and Teacher Feedback Feedback is the vehicle through which students are guided through the learning. Students need support in establishing reasonable goals for their writing, and the most effective vehicle for strengthening goal-setting is descriptive feedback. Shirley Clarke (2003) encourages teachers to display specific learning targets prominently in the classroom and to revisit them frequently. In this way, we are able to ensure that they remain the fundamental focus for the learning. According to Susan Brookhart (2008), the most effective feedback focuses on the qualities of the students’ work, or the strategies and processes that they used to produce the work. Based on the work of Brookhart, these suggestions help guide our feedback: • Feedback needs to be timely. We need to provide students with feedback about their learning while the student is still thinking about the learning. • Feedback needs to be purposeful. Feedback provided to students needs to be skill-specific, rather than task-specific. Provide students with feedback about things that they will continue to have an opportunity to practice. • Limit the amount of feedback. Don’t try to correct everything; instead, provide feedback about the most important, relevant, and useful areas. • Relate the feedback to the goal. Describe students’ learning in terms of the success criteria and assist them in setting goals that will move them closer to their target. • Feedback should be free of judgment. Feedback should describe students’ learning and assist them in setting targets, rather than being an assignment of a mark or judgement. • Identify ways in which a students’ work has improved and suggest one or two goals that are attainable for next time. • Use a tone that demonstrates respect for students as being in control of their learning. • Try to pose questions that cause students to become reflective of the work in relation to the success criteria. Feedback needs to provide evidence to the student about where they are in relation to the learning targets. Feedback needs to acknowledge and praise students’ progress and growth. It needs to give students time to reflect on their learning and consider their next steps. Feedback needs to provide students with clear, logical, attainable next-steps in order to continue their learning. Finally, it is important to remember that feedback is a reciprocal process in which students are active participants and reflective learners. While teacher feedback is an essential component in the learning process, peer feedback is also a powerful tool. If we foster a collaborative, supportive learning community, students are able to share their work with each other and receive immediate feedback they can use to guide their learning. When students have opportunities to share their writing with peers, they have an authentic a­ udience for their writing and are able to receive feedback from a number of sources.  107

Through frequent dialogues with peers, students are able to engage in rich conversations about their writing. Developing a supportive community of learners is essential if students are going to rely on each other for support. They need to be able to take risks, experiment with new ideas, and share their thinking with their peers in a way that promotes mutual respect. Students need to be supportive of each other’s learning and provide feedback that is encouraging and free of judgment. Accountable Talk Accountable talk refers to the way that students engage in robust conversations. These dialogues promote deep thinking, active listening, and clear articulation. Students need to share their ideas and validate the ideas of their peers. How is “talk” connected to “voice”? Through accountable talk, writers are able to share their writing with each other and to try out their writer’s voice. When students read their writing aloud, they are able to capture the feeling, expression, and mood they intended to convey. Lucy Calkins says that young writers should treat their writing “as if it were gold.” By reading it aloud, they are able to use tone and inflection to make their written voice come alive. With the help of a supportive classroom community, young authors can share their writing with an authentic audience and receive immediate feedback to determine how their writing is working. Student engagement increases when students are given opportunities to think deeply, articulate their reasoning and listen with purpose in conversations about issues that are important to them. When teachers open up a conversation that allows students to take the lead, the classroom becomes a place where learning from one another is the norm, not the exception. Involving students in collaborative structure and teaching students how to engage in meaningful conversations about texts makes a difference in student leaning and achievement, supporting the development of the higher-order thinking skills which are so critical in today’s learner. (Capacity Building Series, Special Edition #8)

Building a collaborative community of writers is one that takes time. We need to introduce students to the norms of communication and the strategies they can use to share their work and to value and support the work of others. Establishing such a community takes time as well as explicit teaching. Students naturally want to share; they want to talk and communicate their ideas with others. However, they might find it challenging to show their peers that they are actively listening. Often, students are so busy thinking about their own ideas and what they will say next that they forget to listen to what is being said by others. Cognitive Coaching is a strategy developed by Costa and Garmston (1994). It is an adult learning model that fosters a mentoring relationship between teachers. One teacher, acting as the coach, helps the other to reflect critically on their practice. The coach does this through a series of active listening strategies, mainly pausing, paraphrasing, and asking probing questions. The ultimate goal is for teachers to support their colleagues in becoming more able to self-monitor, selfanalyze, and self-evaluate. Cognitive Coaching teaches mentors to build trust through rapport, to use reflective questioning to promote self-directed learning, to develop high levels of efficacy, and to foster awareness and collaboration. While Cognitive Coaching is clearly an adult learning tool, designed to support 108  

Although Cognitive Coaching is intended as an adult learning model, we can adapt some of the ideas from this technique for our classrooms. The principles of trust, mutual support, and respect are themes that we should carry over with our students.

teachers working collaboratively, many of these strategies can effectively be used in our classrooms to help students engage in rich conversations with each other. If we introduce our students to strategies like the ones suggested in Cognitive Coaching, they will be begin to work as a collaborative, interdependent community of learners. Cognitive Coaching is based on a three-pronged response when conferencing: • Pause: allow the listener enough time to collect ideas and formulate a thoughtful response. • Paraphrase: summarize the main ideas that were shared • Probe: ask questions that will encourage the partner to reflect on his/her work While teacher feedback remains an essential component for student learning, we should not overlook the fact that students can form their own collaborative community of learners and provide feedback that is highly effective. Not only is such feedback beneficial, but it also can show students can learn how to use each other as a resource, to develop trust, and to become reflective writers. Teacher Angela Cunningham created a chart for students participating in discussions. Adapted here, the guidelines are helpful in supporting students engage in accountable talk. Yo u A re A cc o u n table t o…

Other Learners

Listen to the ideas of others and share new ideas of your own.

Restate someone else’s ideas using your own words.

Add to the ideas of another speaker.

Point out important information/ ideas from another speaker.

The Facts

Make sure you’ve understood what you’ve heard.

Explain how you arrived at your ideas.

Give examples and evidence to support your thinking.

Show how some of the ideas are connected.

Your Own Thinking

Defend your ideas against different points of view.

Ask another speaker to prove or explain his/her ideas.

Use different resources to form your ideas.

Make conclusions about what might happen next.

Combining ideas from Cognitive Coaching, Angela Cummings, and Susan Brookhart, I have created a list of prompts that students might find helpful when providing feedback to each other. The prompts are intended to be free of judgment and encourage authors to maintain autonomy over their work. When feedback is provided in the form of a probing question, writers are given the opportunity to reflect on their work. It is hard for students to move away from phrasing feedback as a statement that starts “I liked…”; however, if we continue to support them in finding other ways of responding, they will begin to ask questions that promote deeper thinking and reflection. This will develop a community of collaborative writers who are supportive and interdependent.

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F eedback P r o mpts

See pages 118–119 for a reproducible version of prompts to post in the classroom.

• What would you like me to focus on in your writing? • What choices did you make? • What choices will you make next time? • I was able to visualize the part where… • I noticed… • The part that worked well was… • I was confused about… • What was your goal? How did you work toward your goal? • The part I connected to most was… • Your writer’s voice was strongest when… • What did you want your audience to get from your writing? • What is the main message/mood/feeling you’re trying to convey? • Which strategies did you use to make your voice stronger? • What was your focus for writing; what did you want me to listen for the most? • What was the goal that you were working on in this piece? • After reading your writing, which part were you the most proud of? • What did you do well that created the results you wanted? • What did you learn/try in this piece that you’ll try again next time? • Did you consider…? • I was wondering about… • You really showed your learning by… • Is there something specific you were working on in this piece? • Is there something you’re planning to continue working on? Goal-Setting

If students are engaging in rich dialogues with their peers about their writing, they can use this feedback as a way of setting a personal goal for their writing. When students reflect on their writing, they should be encouraged to think about the success criteria and the feedback they received, and set a new personal goal for themselves.

As students begin to monitor their own learning, engage in rich dialogues with their peers, and set personal writing goals, they take more ownership of their work. Through this process, they become more selfreflective learners.

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Feedback is valuable only if students use it to set goals for their future learning. Regardless of the form feedback takes (oral or written, peer or teacher), it is effective only if students apply it. How can we ensure that students are using the feedback they are receiving? When they are empowered as active participants in the learning and assessment processes, students see the value of the feedback they receive. When students receive feedback, they need to use it as a way of measuring their learning and setting new goals for themselves. Feedback should encourage students to reflect on their learning and re-evaluate their progress. Effective feedback should allow students to rethink their work and set personal goals in order to continue to work toward the success criteria. When students are encouraged to engage in this cycle of learning—write/ share/reflect/goal-setting—they are able to continually reflect on their successes and monitor their own learning. When students set realistic goals for themselves, it allows them to focus their attention on specific areas for improvement in manageable increments. A simple way to track students’ learning and goal-setting is to encourage them to record personal writing goals at the top of the next page in their writing journals. This way, the next time a student begins to write, he/she can take a moment to reflect on the personal goal and think about how to apply it to a new piece of writing. For the teacher, this strategy becomes a tool for tracking students’ learning. By flipping through students’ writing journals, we get an instantaneous log of the goals they have been setting for themselves. We can see which goals they have been working on and how they have tried to apply them to their w ­ riting. We

have a record of how long students have persevered with a particular goal, or how many times they shifted their focus while working on their writing. By reviewing our students’ goal-setting strategies, we are able to gain a deeper insight into the way they are thinking about their writing. We can monitor the way they are applying feedback to their work, as well as they way they are applying their learning.

Results of Minutes a Day By developing classroom routines that foster student ownership, we can begin to be more effective as “voice coaches.” We need to help students understand the importance of using mentor texts as a way of establishing success criteria and of using this as a way of monitoring and reflecting on their own work. Our classes need to become collaborative working environments, where students act as a team of learners, relying on each other for support, guidance, and feedback. And we need to establish writing routines that foster inspiration and encourage students to take risks and write with passion. Through these simple, yet powerful, classroom routines, students will have clear learning goals, engage in authentic dialogues, discover the power of inspiration, become self-reflective learners, and, above all, strengthen their writing voice. Strong classroom routines and instruction that is intentional and based on responding to students’ needs, fostering inspiration, and utilizing a range of voice-building strategies will result in proficient writers who write with passion and voice. In the following examples it is possible to see evidence of the different voice-building strategies in action. Through the use of rich prompts, explicit teaching, and mentoring, students will fill their writing with personality. While it initially seemed difficult to define the intangible qualities of voice, young writers are now able to utilize the voice-building strategies to make their writing leap to life. I knew it was going to be the worst day of my life. Here was my first clue: I had no idea my pants had a hole in them until Sheila McGinnis started to giggle.

Sheila had the loudest mouth in all of Bayside Elementary. It only took a few minutes until the entire grade 6 class was pointing and laughing at the back of my pants. I felt my face turn a crimson red, and my blood come to a boil. I knew there must have been a reason the pants had been pushed to the back of the clearance rack. My morning had started off badly as it was, and now it had taken a turn for the worst. My alarm didn’t go off until fifteen minutes before I had to leave for school, and when I went to my closet, I found nothing clean. That meant that I had to dig into the bright orange discount store bag from the store my mom liked to shop at. Under the brown check pants, I found a pair that I  111

thought I’d be able to get away with at school…..however now, I knew that was a tragic mistake. Not only did I sleep in, but I discovered that my older brother had beaten me to the shower. That meant that I only had enough hot water to get a really strong lather on my body, and then have a chilling surprise as the hot water tank ran dry and the cold water plunged full force onto my body. This was also the day I’d decided to wash my hair, and I was covered in suds literally from my top to my bottom. There I stood. The entire Grade 6 class laughing at me…and I had no where to turn; pants agape, hair sticky with shampoo residue, and my face beet red. I knew it surely was going to be my worst day ever. The curtains opened. The crowd roared to life, only to be silenced when they immediately sensed that something was terribly wrong.

The music abruptly stopped, and the muffled whispers of the crowd filled the air. The spot light snapped off plunging the stage into almost complete darkness. But it was too late, the damage had already been done. The scene had already been etched into the minds of the spectators. “Ladies and gentlemen, please remain calm”, a shaky voice announced through the speakers. “don’t panic, we need to evacuate the theatre in an orderly manner” A shrill scream, interrupted his announcement, sending the crowd into a frenzy of movement and shouts. Most voices were inaudible, but amongst the voices one could hear words repeated throughout the throng. Words like: “murder” “body” “blood”. The theatre was a mass of confusion. People moving in all directions. They were going everywhere at once, and yet getting nowhere. All of the exits were hidden in the sudden darkness, and the panic of the crowd could be felt. “Ladies, and gentlemen, please...please, please return to your seats”. The shaky voice begged again. The backstage lights cast a faint glow on center stage, where clearly the body of a young woman lay. The stage hands fumbled with the chords of the curtains, and failed to close them completely. In the shadowy darkness, a hulking figure lurked at

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entrance to the orchestra pit. The clumsy stage hands finally managed to resolve the tangled curtain ropes, and the dark velvet curtains closed. The look on Mark’s face was unmistakable—pure joy. It was the largest gift he had ever seen in his life and it was his.

His dirty face was glowing with joy and his eyes seemed too big for his face. Who knew a little kid could get so excited. I stood at the side of the room with the other kids, the big boys. We stifled a giggle and Mark shot us a suspicious glance. We quickly held our faces, as John stepped forward and said: “Yeah Mark, someone dropped it off for you. We have no idea who it’s from”. Mark had never received a gift like this before in his life, in fact, he’d never received any gifts before. Life in the orphanage had been tough, and it was not made any easier by the chorus of big kids who now surrounded him. I felt a twinge of guilt. I knew what we were doing was wrong, but there was no stopping John when he got an idea. It was all his idea, I was just the muscle. Someone needed to get the rotten, stinking side of beef from the butcher shop back to the orphanage, and that’s where I came in. The beautifully wrapped box contained a putrid surprise. One that we knew would scare Mark, but we had no idea that it would scar him for life. We could not have predicted Mark’s reaction when he began to unwrap the sparkling paper, his eyes wide with wonder. He was so excited, tiny squeals of joy kept squeaking out of him. The boys and I giggled, and Mark looked at us once again. We stood up tall, and he searched our faces for a clue of the contents of the mysterious package. “Boy, I wish I got a gift like that. And for no good reason.” John cajoled, almost appearing sincere. “This is the nicest thing that’s ever happened to me.” exclaimed Mark. Ironic! I thought. This was to be the worst moment in his life. And the naive little twerp had no idea what was about to hit him.

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This sample was inspired by a painting—Autumn Orillia by Franklin Carmichael.

I stared hopelessly into the forest. The bright autumn colours were ablaze with the last rays of the day’s sun. Above me, the dark branches seemed to twist and contort into strange shapes, reflecting my darkest fears. I reached for my leg once more. The stiff denim material had been shredded by the thick blanket of brush that carpeted the forest floor. I groaned once more as I tried to pull my leg free from the rock crevasse that entombed it. I knew that my ankle was broken, that was certain. My leg was twisted in an odd manner, and yet, I felt no pain. I had felt pain initially, when my foot fell into the narrow wedge in the earth. At that moment, I felt a surge of pain and heard a loud crack as I fell face first into the moist dirt. Now, I felt no pain. The pain had receded, however, in it’s place was a deep fear. I was alone in the north. Deep in the woods. I tugged on my leg once more, and felt it shift slightly to the right. I felt a glimmer of hope. The sun seemed to be dropping faster than I’d ever imagined. It’s warm golden glow was now only visible on the tips of the tall trees. The cold darkness of the immense forest was enveloping me like a shroud. I was exhausted, and yet adrenaline surged through my body. My heart raced, and I tugged with a renewed effort to free my leg. The rocks held tight to my boot, and regardless of the precarious angle of my ankle, it refused to budge. I sighed a heavy sigh. Leaning back on the edge of the damp grass, I stilled myself to listen for any signs of life. In the distance, I heard the stirring of the forest. The daytime creatures were quietening as the darkness of twilight approached. The howl of a wolf pierced the silence. My legs dangled over the rough branch of the tree. I could see the other children gathered below, and they chatted and tittered happily amongst themselves. The girls cupped their hands to each others’ ears as they whispered secrets. The boys pushed each other, happily rough-housing in the afternoon sun. I adjusted my legs, and the branch creaked slightly. I knew that they were oblivious to my presence. Some fine particles of

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sand fell from my shoe onto the unsuspecting crowd gathered below. Holding the branch with one hand, I shifted my weight slightly to the left, and reached into my backpack. I could feel the warm damp rubber slipping through my fingers. As I eased the swollen balloon out, I examined its contents. The water was dark and muddy, and the worms had become swollen and bloated. The balloon was filled with a putrid combination of swamp water, dirt, and eviscerated worms. The crowd continued happily, chatting about the day’s events. Shelly Stevenson, flicked her long hair over her sun kissed shoulders, and laughed out loud. I was so tired of her laugh. I wondered what her blond hair would look like filled with swamp water and worms. My freckled face cracked into a giant grin. I held the balloon in front of me, carefully balancing it between my knees. I closed one eye, and imagined the balloon hitting Shelly square on the top of her head. She giggled once more, and Tabitha Brown slipped her arm around her shoulder. This was the perfect moment. Through my right eye, I could see the two girls were squarely under my targeted area. I stifled a laugh, and released the balloon. It was as if time stood still. Shelly’s scream could have been heard four blocks away. Tabitha Brown froze in horror, and the entire crowd stilled to a silence. Brown, muddy water dripped off Shelly’s nose, and a thick worm dropped from her ear onto the ground. Tabitha’s face was a mess of swamp water and tears. Assessment Keeping our finger on the pulse of our students’ learning is easier than it may seem. By building assessment for learning into our classroom routines, it becomes possible for students to receive immediate feedback and use it to set personal goals for the very next day.

I think one of the most dismaying possibilities of asking our students to write more is the fear that we will have to mark more. If a class of 30 students is writing on a daily basis for 15 minutes, how much time will it take for the teacher to read every word that every student writes? Does this sound like a frightening math question to you? I agree that the answer would be terrifying! But ask yourself: What is our purpose when we assess students work? Assessment, in its most practical sense, is a way for us to keep our finger on the pulse of our students’ learning. This is often termed “assessment for learning.” This is different from “assessment of learning”—the final summative assessment that comes at the end of a unit of study and allows us to assign a mark. With assessment for learning, we monitor each students’ learning and use this to guide our instruction and help students set personal learning goals.

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Here are some strategies you might find helpful in bringing assessment into your daily routines: W rite To g ether

During students’ writing time, encourage a small group of students to join you at a table. You can use this as an opportunity to observe their writing behaviors. By sitting with a different group of students each day, you will get a better understanding of the range of abilities and skills that your students possess. You can use your observations to form different groupings in the future. Keeping a clipboard handy allows you to make quick anecdotal observations of the students’ writing. Observe P eer F eedback

By touching base with students during peer feedback, you’ll be able to monitor their writing, their thinking, and their conversations with each other.

After writing time, encourage all students to move around the room and share their writing with a peer. While they are sharing, move around the room, pausing to listen to the conversations. You will hear students reading their writing, responding to the ideas of others, explaining their learning goals, and setting new goals for themselves. If you keep a clipboard handy, you’ll be able to record your observations of these interactions. You’ll be able to get a feel for the students’ writing, their ideas, and their voice. You’ll hear the way they want their words to sound, and can help them make sure that they are written in a way that captures the intended expressions. You’ll be able to identify which of the success criteria they are focusing on and the way they are monitoring their personal goals. You’ll also observe the way they react to the writing of their peers. You’ll be able to hear the feedback and the conversations that focus on each student’s work. P ick a Part n er

While students are sharing with partners, ask one student to share with you— your attention can be completely focused on the writing of this one student. The student can read his/her writing to you, and you’ll be able to hear the authentic writing voice. By encouraging the student to read aloud his/her own work, you’ll be able to gain a better insight into the way that student wanted the writing to sound. During five minutes of sharing, it might be possible to listen to the work of two or three students. Each can share his/her writing goal, read his/her work, and explain how he/she is working toward the goals. You can also provide these students with oral feedback and help them set a new goal. If you have a clipboard, you can record this information for your own reference at a later date. This can help to guide your instruction, to form smaller instructional groups, or to remind you to follow up with particular students about specific needs. Although you may share with only three students during this time, at the end of one week you will have had the opportunity to have these conversations with approximately 15 students. These brief interactions allow you to have meaningful ongoing conversations with students about their writing. A class tracking sheet similar to the one on pages 120–121 might be useful for recording general anecdotal observations. This assessment could be used for guiding instruction, forming smaller groupings, or proving informal feedback to students.

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C lass S hari n g

We’re all experts in our own right, and every student deserves to have a moment in the spotlight. If we create a classroom environment where students are free to take risks, share their work, and seek input from their peers, then they might relish the opportunity to share their writing with the class. If we encourage students to “take the author’s chair” and read something they are particularly proud of to the class, we are able to use this as an additional opportunity for assessment.

Co - co n str u cti n g A ssessme n t To o ls

By involving our students in the setting of success criteria, we give them ownership over their learning. Working with students, we can use success criteria to coconstruct rubrics they can use to monitor and assess their own progress. When creating rubrics with students, it is important that the learning targets be firmly grounded in the curriculum expectations, but that the assessment tool be written in student-friendly language. When students are actively participating in collaborative sharing, feedback, and goal-setting, they begin to become highly reflective writers. The “mystery” of assessment is removed. Students no longer need to ask “How did I do on that?”—instead of requiring the teacher’s authority as the final word, they will be more able to monitor their own learning. If they are constantly setting and reflecting on their personal writing goals, then they will have an ongoing sense of their strengths and needs as writers. If teachers monitor students’ goal-setting, we are able to get a sense of how they are developing and how we can assist them in setting future goals. This is another valuable area for assessment. Asking students to track their writing goals by recording them on the top of pages in their writing books serves two purposes: 1.  It serves as a reminder as they are working on their writing and encourages them to focus on their goal. 2.  It allows the teacher to flip through a student’s writing book and immediately know which goals the student is working on. This information indicates how the goals are changing over time and, as we look through the writing samples, it gives us a lens through which we can read their work. This simple assessment strategy is highly effective. The ownership for the learning belongs to the student: they are able to determine their own strengths and needs; they can set and monitor their own learning goals. This kind of assessment is highly individualized, personalized, and specific. Using students’ records of goal-setting gives us immediate data about how they are apply the things they are learning, the feedback they are receiving, and the way they are viewing themselves as a writer. Wouldn’t this give you a greater insight into their writing, their attitudes, and their abilities?

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Feedback Prompts What would you like me to focus on in your writing?

What choices will you make next time?

I noticed…

I was confused about…

The part I connected to most was…

What did you want your audience to get from your writing?

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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What choices did you make?

I was able to visualize the part where…

The part that worked well was…

What was your goal? How did you work toward your goal?

Your writer’s voice was strongest when…

What is the main message/mood/feeling you’re trying to convey?

Which strategies did you use to make your voice stronger? What was the goal that you were working on in this piece? What did you do well that created the results you wanted?

What was your focus for writing; what did you want me to listen for the most? After reading your writing, which part were you the most proud of?

What did you learn/try in this piece that you’ll try again next time?

Did you consider…? I was wondering about… You really showed your learning by…

Is there something you’re planning to continue working on?

Is there something specific you were working on in this piece?

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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Class Tracking Sheet: Writing Observations Success Criteria/ Learning Goals

Student Name:_________________________

Student Name:_________________________ :

Student Name:_________________________

Student Name:_________________________

Student Name:_________________________

Student Name:_________________________

Student Name:_________________________

Student Name:_________________________

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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Style

Personalization

Character Development

Perspective

Comments Wordsmithing

Emotional Cues

Student Name

Sensory Statements

Class Tracking Sheet: Voice-Building Strategies

Pembroke Publishers © 2011 The Write Voice by Lisa Donohue ISBN 978-1-55138-268-5

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Resources

Brookhart, Susan (2008) “Feedback” Educational Leadership, December 2007/ January 2008, Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development. Calkins, Lucy (1994) The Art of Teaching Writing (Second Edition). Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann. Capacity Building Series, Special Edition #8 (April 2011) Literacy and Numeracy Secretariat, Ontario Ministry of Education. Clark, Roy Peter (2006) Writing Tools: 50 Essential Strategies for Every Writer. New York, NY: Little Brown. Clarke, Shirley (2003) Enriching Feedback in the Primary Classroom. London, UK: Hodder & Stoughton. Cognitive Coaching, at http://www.cognitivecoaching.com Costa, Arthur L., & Garmston, Robert J. (1994) Cognitive Coaching: A Foundation for Renaissance Schools. Norwood, MA: Christopher-Cordon Publishers. Culham, Ruth (2003) 6+1 Traits of Writing. New York, NY: Scholastic. Davies, Anne (2008) Leading the Way to Making Classroom Assessment Work. Courtenay, BC: Connections Publishing. — (2008) Transforming Barriers to Assessment for Learning. Courtenay, BC: Connections Publishing. Gear, Adrienne (2006) Reading Power. Markham, ON: Pembroke. Gregory K, Cameron C. & Davies A. (2000) Self-Assessment and Goal Setting. Courtenay, BC: Building Connections Publishing. Hale, Elizabeth (2008) Crafting Writers K-6. Portland, ME: Stenhouse. Harvey, Stephanie & Goudvis, Anne (2007) Strategies That Work: 2nd Edition. Portland, ME: Stenhouse. Lamott, Anne (1995) Bird by Bird: Some Instructions of Writing and Life. New York, NY: Anchor House. Reid, Steven & Mary (2008) OWA Ontario Writing Assessment. Toronto, ON: Nelson. Stiggins, Rick, et al (2006) Classroom Assessment for Student Learning. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson. The Ontario Curriculum Grades 1-8, Language (2006) Ontario Ministry of Education.

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Index

accountable talk, 108–110 guidelines, 109 adventure (genre), 32–35, 42–46, 54–57, 63, 72, 73, 80, 81, 90–93 alliteration, 87 anthropomorphism, 90 application, 104 areas of learning, 104 assessment, 115–117 class sharing, 116 co-constructing tools, 117 observing peer feedback, 116 picking a partner, 116 writing together, 116 brainstorming chart, 53 character development, 18, 69–75 described, 69 dialogue, 69–70 reproducible rich prompts, 74–75 rich prompts, 71–73 voice-building activity, 69–70 Yo Momma Said…, 69–70 Chart Your Emotions, 28–29 choice, 22–23, 24 class sharing, 116 class tracking sheet voice-building strategies, 121 writing observations, 120 classroom routines, 12, 111 clear learning goals, 103–104 cognitive coaching, 108–109 collaborative community, 108 collaborative sharing, 117 communication, 104 consistent perspective, 60, 62 context, 7–8

conventions, 84 dismissing, 85 silencing voice, 84–85, style and, 85 describing, 16–17 dialogue, 69–70 emotional cues, 18, 27–38 Chart Your Emotions, 28–29 described, 27 Guess How I Feel?, 29–30 Makin’ Me Emotional, 30–31 mood, 27 physical reactions, 28–30 reproducible rich prompts, 36–38 rich prompts, 31–35 sample emotion chart, 29 voice-building activities, 28–31 emotionally neutral sentences, 53 emotions charting, 28–29 creating mood using, 30–31 using physical clues to show, 29–30 emphasis, 88–89 fantasy (genre), 32, 33, 43–45, 56, 57, 72, 93 feedback described, 107 goal-setting and, 110 guiding, 107 peer, 107–108, 116 teacher, 107–108, 109 feedback prompts, 110, 118–119 figures of speech, 88 first-person perspective, 60–61, 63–65 Focus Shifters, 88–89  123

Folding Sentences, 52–53 From Flat to Fabulous, 89, 94–95 genres adventure, 32–35, 42–46, 54–57, 63, 72, 73, 80, 81, 90–93 fantasy, 32, 33, 43–45, 56, 57, 72, 93 humor, 31, 34, 35, 42, 43, 55, 56, 63–65, 71–73, 80–81, 91, 92 legend, 33 mystery, 45, 56, 63 science fiction, 33, 34, 43, 46, 54, 56 suspense, 31, 33–35, 43–45, 54, 56, 63, 64, 71, 73, 90, 91 Get “Organized”, 41–42 goal-setting, 110–111 monitoring, 117 gradual release of responsibility, 21 graphic organizers Sensory Associations, 47 Guess How I Feel?, 29–30 humor (genre), 31, 34, 35, 42, 43, 55, 56, 63–65, 71–73, 80–81, 91, 92 hyperbole, 87 imagery, 39 implying, 14–16 inferring, 14–16, 27 inspiration, 12, 19, 106–107 finding, 19–21, 24–25 multiple sources of, 23 prompting, 21 rich prompts and, 21–25 sharing, 21 teaching, 106–107 writing and, 23 inverted lesson design, 99–100 example, 99–100 Keepin’ It Consistent, 62 knowledge, 104 legend (genre), 33 lessons components of, 99 inverted design, 99–100 literary devices, 87 Makin’ Me Emotional, 30–31 mentor texts, 8, 102–103, 106, 111 124  

mentors, 22, 51, 98, 102–103, 106, 108 authors as, 79, 102–103 teaching, 108 voice of, 102–103 metaphor, 87 mood, 27, 53 My Personal Mentor, 79 mystery (genre), 45, 56, 63 narrative, 24, 60 onomatopoeia, 87 partner sharing, 116 peer feedback, 107–108 observing, 116 personal writing goal, 22 personality, 76 personalization, 18, 76–83 described, 76 My Personal Mentor, 79 personality, 76 reproducible rich prompts, 82–83 rich prompts, 79–81 voice-building activities, 77–79 Who Said That?, 77–78 perspective, 18, 60–68 consistent, 60, 62 described, 60–61 first-person, 60–61, 64, 65 Keepin’ It Consistent, 62 narrative, 60 reproducible rich prompts, 66–68 rich prompts, 62–65 tense, 61 third-person, 60–61 voice-building activities, 61–62 Writing in Role, 61–62 physical reactions, 28–30 readers, 13–17 inferring vs. implying, 14–16 visualizing vs. describing, 16–17 vs. writers, 14–17 reading, 13–14 reading strategies, 14 reproducible rich prompts character development, 74–75 emotional cues, 36–38 personalization, 82–83 perspective, 66–68

sensory statements, 48–50 style, 96–97 wordsmithing, 58–59 rich prompts, 21, 24 character development, 71–73, 74–75 developing, 25 emotional cues, 31–35, 36–38 inspiration and, 21–25 introducing, 21–23 location, 22 multiple, 23 personalization, 79–81, 82–83 perspective, 62–65, 66–68 reading, 22 reproducible, 36–38, 48–50, 58–59, 66–68, 74–75, 82–83, 96–97 routine, 21–22 sensory statements, 42–46, 48–50 story, 24 students as characters, 25 style, 90–93, 96–97 wordsmithing, 54–57, 58–59 sample emotion chart, 29 science fiction (genre), 33, 34, 43, 46, 54, 56 Sensory Associations graphic organizer, 47 sensory statements, 16, 18, 39–50 brainstorming, 41 described, 39 Get “Organized”, 41–42 imagery, 39 reproducible rich prompts, 48–50 rich prompts, 42–46 Sensory Associations, 47 Setting the Stage, 40–41 voice-building activities, 39–42 setting, 40 Setting the Stage, 40–41 simile, 87, 90 stories, 24–25 students as characters, 25 style, 18, 84–97 conventions, 84–85 described, 84 emphasis, 88–89 figures of speech, 88 Focus Shifters, 88–89 From Flat to Fabulous, 89, 94–95

literary devices, 87 more than conventions, 85 reproducible rich prompts, 96–97 rich prompts, 90–93 voice-building activities, 88–89 What I Meant to Say Was…, 88 success criteria, 103–106 application, 104 areas of learning, 104 communication, 104 creating, 105 described, 103 establishing, 104 involving students in, 106 knowledge, 104 sample, 105–106 thinking, 104 using, 106 suspense (genre), 31, 33–35, 43–45, 54, 56, 63, 64, 71, 73, 90, 91 teacher feedback, 107–108, 109 tense, 61 thinking, 104 third-person perspective, 60–61 touchstone, 9 visualizing, 16–17 vocabulary, 51–52 voice accountable talk and, 108 building, 100–111 casual vs. formal, 8 classroom approaches to developing, 11–12 children’s, 9–10 context and, 7–8 conventions silencing, 84–85 daily routine, 100 defined, 7 described, 7–8, 17 mentor, 102–103 recognizing, 8, 13 results of building, 111 teaching, 8–9 uniqueness of, 13 writing and, 7, 8–9, 17 writing samples, 9–11 voice-building activities character development, 69–70 Chart Your Emotions, 28–29  125

emotional cues, 28–31 Focus Shifters, 88–89 Folding Sentences, 52–53 From Flat to Fabulous, 89 Get “Organized”, 41–42 Guess How I Feel?, 29–30 Keepin’ It Consistent, 62 Makin’ Me Emotional, 30–31 My Personal Mentor, 79 personalization, 77–79 perspective, 61–62 sensory statements, 39–42 Setting the Stage, 40–41 style, 88–89 Voice Speaks Volumes, 53 What I Meant to Say Was…, 88 Who Said That?, 77–78 wordsmithing, 52–54 Writing in Role, 61–62 Yo Momma Said…, 69–70 voice-building strategies, 13–26 character development, 18, 69–75 class tracking sheet, 121 classroom approach, 11–12 emotional cues, 18, 27–38 introducing, 8 list of, 5–6, 11–12, 13, 18 personalization, 18, 76–83 perspective, 18, 60–68 sensory statements, 18, 39–50 strengthening, 23–24 style, 18, 84–97 visual cue, 26 wordsmithing, 18, 51–59 Voice Speaks Volumes, 53 What I Meant to Say Was…, 88 Who Said That?, 77–78 wordsmithing, 18, 51–59 brainstorming chart, 53 describe, 51–52

126  

Folding Sentences, 52–53 mood, 53 reproducible rich prompts, 58–59 rich prompts, 54–57 vocabulary, 51–52 voice-building activities, 52–53 Voice Speaks Volumes, 53 wordsmiths, 51 writer’s block, 20 writers, 14 building a collaborative community, 108 describing vs. visualizing, 16–17 emotional cues, 27 implying vs. inferring, 14–16 stories and, 24–25 vs. readers, 14–17 wordsmiths, 51 writing context and, 7–8 deconstructing, 8 elements of, 8 emotional cues, 27 finding inspiration, 19–21, 23 finishing, 23–24 forms for, 24 goal, 25 group, 116 personal goal, 22 practicing, 98–99 purposes of, 20, 24 sharing, 22 starting, 18–21 voice and, 7, 8–9, 17 Writing in Role, 61–62 writing journals, 110–111, 117 writing observations class tracking sheet, 120 Yo Momma Said…, 69–70