Writing Public Prose: How to Write Clearly, Crisply, and Concisely

Citation preview

riting

PUBLIC

rose

Robert M. Knight

Marion Street Press Portland, Oregon

PulJlishf:d by Manon Stn..•t Pr("S..~ 4207 SE \\'c>t>1.·Jshx~k nl\'d # W8 Portland. R ''720f>-(i2ft7 liSA

ht1p:i/www.nw1rionstrl"t•tpress.com/

e 2012 by Rolw.rt M. Knight All rights n•st~n ed 1

No pctrt of thi~ book ma)· be repn>du Xow. lio what ~·our gut tdl~ you not to do: let tlw: message or cont'e.pt or illll/di..,·111., which is ..Ult' tt•ndc•nc·y to o,·cn.implif)· nn i.,~ or problem b)· i~n(>MflJ( 1.·omplcxitir; or -.◄ umpli"-•'lfions ...

We Have a Point Here Tht"" bt'St writing c.u1 &1ddn~~ a complii:Jtt:d ~ubject and offer 11 an easily digef:'ted compllnenl~. The writl~r ac.·comphs~ thi$ ta~k not by l~avin~ i1nporuuu ('umponen,~ out. hut by Uhing plain English dominated by it!- Anglo-Saxon roots. n,~ \\'riter !timply ri.adut.-e~ the ~omptlnenl~ to bitt.•-~i.ze. bul in n(, wa~· doe:. htt or ~he write down tot~ reader. To "rite down would be ~imphstic. It would lrt'.at tht' n~.ader. \·~er. or ll~terwr a!\ .ln idiot This l.'i not a new collCl·pt. A Con~ll linw'l~rs.it~· ~ln1f·~~r. \Villiaan Strunk. and a student of his, E. B. \\11ilt.•, artirulatl-d tht• coru..·epl about u c~ntury ~gu. In ·Th~ f.lrmn,h ,JJ S~vl,\ Stn1nk and \Vhitc- !!o&lid: A !\Cnknct• !\hould c-ontain no unn~ry ·words. a paragraph no llnnt~~-sting. nor~,11i·onhy. dram.atk:. and rapti,·aling. lnfunn the rt'nder. tea~ the rt-ader. ang~r th~ r~adt'r. chaUcng~ ,he readfr. ti\;kle t~ reader. or prt'patt• the reader lor what is conung next. But dun 't bor~ tht· n.~ade-r. Picky. these readers It your intro bor~ 1hen1. the~· rrtaliatc. Th{'Y refu~ t.,'l rca(t the r~ of what .\'LlU \'t" wrict~n. 11te most conunort.l)· stakd reruin for wntang borini irU.n.li'I is tha1 tht.• writer dut.~1·1 ha,-~ tinlt~ tu fashion an intt·r...~ting one. Rut you don't rt..all~, have a choin•. You must takt• the" timl' bc:•rause if ~ou tak~ th~ time. you $a\·t." tirne.

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The Time-Saving. On-Deadline Formula kememl~ that dial,~UL" you·n• ~uppust-J to ~st.ubli~h with the rc,,d~r? Herc·s h1..1,,· it works: Yuu ~rc•mt half your time ~etting thl" intro right. \\'ht!J\ ii ft'.•d!i ri~ht, thr~iUf"e_ :\lo outlining (uni~ the- stor, is ahuul lhrt!t• thou~ words or longl~,~ just a ~imple dialogue with Mum l,r spou~. Ne,*·• obviou~y th~re·~ more to goud wririn,c. Sut if you ah;orbecl lllllhing n,or~ than this diitlo~uc~. you can gu out and u.~ it tomorrow.

The Style Trap fi~t. let'~ talk aboul thi~ thing calll·d ~ty~. and why you shuuld.n·t ha\-e to \\·orry about it Style can be as elusi\-e a~ a poltcrgr.isl. That dowever. make the nustake ot aAAunung that bt-..."'uSr tnglish carrie~ 1he occasional di~'ijonanet!. it i~ wuhout rhythm. mus.ic. or grace. J!our qualit~ Set English apctrl. ~\'en fru,n nthr-r ( ie.-nnaoic ldnguage?t. Thre~ of th~m art· p.)Sathce. First, lJre ~nll~Ur't'. of F.ngli:iih i~ sin,pl,~r and mornL~pl. or fact with just th«• riihr nuam:t-. llut latini1.a11i,ms should ~nrc a~ al~C~~oriC' tn Uw t~ort• lan1cuaJ.t•·. not n~pla~~t•mt·nh for 1t. In languagr!- tha1 laC'k the ma~-s1vr- voc'9bula~· of En~lish.

the· writc.·r u~ually ,~ forct-J tu de-rive pnx·i-w• me~aninR from contt'Xt ,·,r fr1.1m whcrt• t)w ,~nrd falls in a S(•nt("oct• In En~lifth. thr ta~ ~;msge enough to t•njoy playing with t-ach u~ge until the rn~.;age cos11t~1' out prt..ci'.'tc-1~ right. It i~ the.- humble:- c.,ennanic itiium of the Anglo-Sax,·m pt.•a~ ant th.,t giw~ lh And why ,,·a~ Guinier

tlt'Ws-

wo11hyl (The U.S. ~nate had failed to ronfirn1 the C'linton ,tppoint~ lo the Supre1ne Court becau~ most ~rutlun. t·urnrid· rrt•d h,•r \·it"W~ lo be too radi.::al t Ccrt.ainl~·. hc.•r spon1W.tr.,hip hy th(· ( >ffio• of lntercultural Advancemt•nt dot"'\ no1 h,•Jun~ in stw lt'de. Jt might be appropriatt• for tht' l.1.'il paragraph ~>f th~ ~•nn·. Somt" intros arr dull becau~ lh£•y art· rmpry. trih.· Fall ir. cl w,>ndc-rfuJ dmc.· of ~'t"ar It indic.1u~ tht'.' rnd nt ljumn1e•r and the• ~nnin~ u.f o lk'W !K"1t.4A.,rL St•alitln.~ ar..• pan uf dt~ ll\·mg. \\'t... nlighl supp~ that tht• audit·nce i~ rural. 1ha1 it~ residl"'nb ha,,..- nt~vi~r seen dty during &he tall. Thal. hn\\'1.""6:tOD BEGINNINGS; AN INTRnnuc·nnN Burgtary a.nd plumben h.wt- not bl-t"n commonly d~"'ie--"1• ah,"'11 sioce rr~dt.~t Rid1a1rd NiMin·s h~ochmcn coined that nickmune for thermel\'C!S-· iUld lho8r guy, wcrrn·t ~n~n rral plumber~. But po-lict- "64Y lhey bdin~ th~ burglar; \\·ho ~ult' rx•arl} three tons of copper lubing thiN week from a suburban compan~· really arr i.n tht- plumbtng bu.~s~.

Th1..• gjfil of th~ intro

buried in the s«ond par~1Taph

if-6

abcwe. Lefs revflite it Polic~ ~y they believe that burglars who stole nearly three

tons of f(•pper tubing this w~ek from a !ruburban con1pany are thems.e-lv~ in the plumbing bU.4ii.ness.

Starting with a Question ~1any c~itors an• adanu1ntly opp.:,sc·d lo bt:g1nning a pie\~e ,,ith a qur~lion. thers 'NI~· tlw pr.ictkc is okay. but only if used sparingly. Thnse who do not like the pr&-:tit't• uffor lhi~ explaruumn: l.e.1ding wtth a qur'iti,m demands un an.~w~r that

the reader might not want

bother !-pt•nding lilt- t-t~r,O' tu provide. Or readers mighl f ttJ they ilrl' bt'ang inlt'rti)g~ted or 10

fon"1•d by guill lo provi~ an an!iWrr. If they don't want tu n~ood, thl" writ~r ha& ma the story's subj~t. A quotr. in th[) HEGll'i"NINGS: AN l~'TRODUC11< lN

l"fall Slrt~t ]ourntll and 712, IVashinRtm, Post. craft their I~. The }011rnal in partiortt!r.

When to Stop Describing

o~ effeicth~ way 10 enliven a !l"tory is 10 sprinkle it with sespire- a u-ntury of ~ri,llL" archaeology, we stilJ ha\'~ only t~ foggit>.s-1 Mki-adl)· Sins ,d ~ . " .,,.., w,rt.,,r. May 1..r.l. 9-12.

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8c1h Ky:sn. "'fnturr Wriuntt, • SNN ~ m . hnpJlwww .IIM•nfu~/ ~nn/nr. repnn~moulhm/f~~tun?Wrifin,;.htmV Tan Ll)'dm. ·nectff ctw, F.w... Sport~ llla,.dmU41.. ~ 2.\, ~ : 61 .. 6J. !k.'ity I~ Grah,m\. .\f~nr Arll,lt ~\'t1thJt lfiarrourt en.~ Ju\·nncw.ch Cc~ P u ~ 1993'1. 96 Shed.. 91. WRmNf; Pl1RIJC PRtlSI-: I 23

Chapter 4

The Craft W mt'an.c; sur~cally ren10v1ng

riting is gt·lting tlw ~tuff down on lht-- t·tunputcr "'·n•~n or l"vcn on paprr. Rut good writing. for a pubJi.,- Rudi•

sft. but h can ~ink a 8fflten~. Tht•r~ is a saving grac~: it can provide c..--omic'. rl'lief.

I 5'.ltt..• a slight l,1,,, i,f liglrt (How sligh1 can a hint get?) I ~w a hint uf light.

26 I WRrnNG PUBJJC PROS-E

THf- CRA1-,· 11,r. lwalmg vu:Jinr r:a11 nm1-1 drr.... s l,im.~lf anJ l,n,.,·h lu., m,.,, lerl/1.

(ik(OTe he:- \vaJ tb(t ,·ictim. ht! muft1 ha\~~ ablr to brtJ!\h oth...r pl'Uplt'"s tttth as well. I Th~ llC'ating vinim can now drc:-~ him.~f And brush his

tl'eth.

n,e 1,uryr,r mys Jar wants -.1,tc.-kn, ~'ium.'i.

t,, talk about tlu tvwn·!l p~r~v-

(Slum~ are. by dclinition. P,)\~rty-strickrn.) Th~ mayor ~rs she wa.nu to talk abc>ut th~ town·s ~um,.

lit ij a11 at,td trtttttln '"'"' has. hr lhf' pa.d, i..'1·/ttr,1 n num~, of tnnirl ~;forlt-s. (Hl" must not ha\'1!- had time for them in the futu ..... ) He is an a\rid tnweltt ,vho has writh.•n a numbf'T of trawl ~"tones.

Tiu- tmrptralurr 111 ll1t l>am luul ,~achtJ a sm,tldntng 115 lh-gTl'(1!\ is fi1t10k1f-ring.) Th,.. t>am·, trmperaturr hftJ re~hNt 11 ~ ck>grt~-" Fahr-c!nheiL

Plrotogr"plry ha~ al.w be,~m11r a111.">llwr ef Ju,; pa.!·5tmts. fJhulogrc1phy h.ns beconx- anrnhcr oi his pa!aiiot~.

Compounding the Sentence with Complexity A ,:ompound sent~ncc:i i,; two ~ntenc~ joined by a ,·(mjut'M.·tion (111ul but. fi,r. 11or. or. w, .11,t). A co,nplex sentenc~ l"lJnlain~ at l~a~ one clause supporting the main pan of the ~ntrnt~. ("1a1.15l95 an-n 't s u ~ to stand by thernseh-es

Thcrtt is nothing particularly wrong with a compound or compl~x scnlt-nc~. So1neti~ idea5 don·1 gd BLTOSS without their help. ft is whrn the)· att not needed that th~· aeate

problrms for the con.~ntiom writer.

f...xtra sentt:nce ekment-. (words.. phr~ dau~) ~oold carry red Oa1t5 to wa~ in front of the writtt. Whm the.~ d('ruents appe.ar. the red flag shoold go up. reminding the writer WR ITINr. Pl TRI TC' PRf1SF. I 27

CHAPTER -i

to a~k. ·oo I really need this•r If you do n~d it. fine. ~'-:.ep it in. 8u1 mort- oft~n thim noc. it ju.~t gl'"l~ in th~ way. The ~a~it.~t way lo L>rc-a._ up complexity i5 tu di\·1dt' th~ scnknce and 1n1nslunn it intn at least l\\'O ~nren~. Takl· thik Ont!. for exan1pk: 1-/fr l·'\,,,.,/,rc\(iav pfayt"·r,1111.~ n,u,~r :.. •ii/ l1m;,• a Jul'\·t impact

"" thi~ das)·. a~ ,S41"H' ,,f 11,,.1,u:~i.f~ nm ,·n:--J_v hf- lran~{c1n11rd_lr,m, ~ruua[Jsm

1,, tl1r1Jh'T c, ,,ifmJr:•.,J,r f,.-/ut'i',

Sh.1ra phr~~ and dause". But bcl\tU.'iC good public writ•

in~ can be infurmal and con,1\r!-ational. St-nl~nCT" fragment" all' oh.· We Qln replace it with ,m .a4'.'tion \'Crb.) 28 I \~'Rl'llNG PUBLIC PROSE

·n·IE CRAFT No om• c.~t)u)d h~lp me. I wa~ d~•asutt"d.

Fcotlt"II ,mmnltalr.l.v ,1111~1,1 Ill.-; t>yr, fillrJ 1..-ill1 tksirt and ."tn·.) . ~ntud= 11,r. .\1.itfo110J Footb,1/I INJ:ur ttum tlu11 i...1111.~ 1hr

.

.-tmr.rlcan C(m/tTn1ct grK-$ ()ti to /Hfl.V t11 tlw Supt.-r Bou.•/. 1U your team ~~\'t won 1ts cunference rhampioo-ship-, cher~ is no war it is going to play in thr Super ~1., NoneswntiAI: SII/H' tl'ltnl$, u~idr repn-:M'Ptl tht• brst ,m,I

&m,

lufkiest of tlit 16 team., in MCJ1 tu,iftrrnct. IPki'd ""''' t"1fhn tn Nrlv . fd,ruorv. . (E\'ff\' team that has e\....-r mack u to the Super Bowl has bttn vrry good or wary lucky or both.)

.

WXITTNG PUBLIC PROSE I 29

CHAPrER -l

If we'rt- talking abuut ~ple, not mountain~ or shirts fnr footb,ill team~. wt· U!;~ .. who .. instead of ·thar· or -whkh." Now, Jet's talk about t.:lu, \"l"nW; f.4.thom. Stric."tly ~aking. if the \\-Ord i., 1hr subjt·c1 of th~ ~ntem.~if it is doinf( the action or portraying a statt· of being-ii ,~ u•h,,. If tht- word is rtX""dving tl1c dt.1ifm, it i~ ldu.m1: -, \1w is throwing a base-ball ,tt r., 1/rom?" the announn-r asked. But in Aant9rk.an English. us. in~ r.L'lwm can ,_,ounmJX,us: .. \\'ho do you l'llow'?" realJr ~houki I~ .. \\'hi.-.m do you know?·

Suppo~ )'OU and a fri(-nd arri\"t' at a part~·- You are invi1t.-cJ in and, as ttw dour d,)St>~ behind you, you look over the cr,.,wd, then at ea("h other. ·\\'ath whom are you ncquai1ued hrn•-::,you ask. An Americ.m lh:ing in the twt»nty-fir-..t ccntu11· dot•sn·t talk tha1 way. Mayik' om-- hundn~ years ago. but not ~int.·f:" \Vorfd \Var J has such stuffi~ entt'tt~d ttw rnn,·E"-rscttktn of any but thl' mos1 pt-ditntinlpous and ~loppy. und pluc~ human hdngs in tht" sam~ categol')' a~ '-·hair le~. as things. I ktwi..· it ""'-~ ]ad)('" tltaJ IJaJ ju.,t hMrt laid off I knftw that J~1rk,.._m ruad ju~t he~n l11id off. S.l,,a '-¥lid ,h,· bu~,.· ng word. \\'t! 1alked in chapter 1 about what an Q$t?t the hug~ f..ngJi.d.~ ~nty P."-"n, dig a fourlt-..)1 hole-• .and di~\·~r the trr.a.."-Urc.

Sornt.'thing c.dl«-d .. ,tw rule of thrt" .. might explain how best let nwn,municah.• wi1h the rt•a,k-r. Someone rnakes an as.s('nion. tht•n oocks it up "ith thret~ ~M&mples ...•rwos.. dv-mr Ill -srhool knm,..-.~ z..-h£n it's hh· timt lo ,lelw~, hi~ ~r "'"' tl,t•si.(,

f.\•eryonc m school knows "·hr.nit•.~ timl• tu dc.-li\,-er a ~ior

rhca,i In lhc M.'Ct>nd example. get rid of,,~ ltns. and you havt' not changed the n1eanintt of the sentence al all. In fad 1nodifier. H~re are thre~ fan~u~ examples fn►m Strunk Jnd \\'hitl•: US('

~••nt'

&mx i11 a ,lilapid11tNI a,,u/ittm,. I

l-. 'ils

a.bl" to buy 11,~ lwuM

r_v d1,~up

Vt:...

lfond,-,i1•x 1r,-•st)/utrJy ~tJ,at to

,t,, 11e.\t.

the dt.. rl~.sd . .·ldmittln)? tit.al lhnr r, ~~ many ,111n.tfon., n111c~rr,i11g

ti,~ I~~" that c. ·,mid rinvr he• "" ,-.1,:w:rttd. tht hoJy xnv.fi "'"")' dut's ,,., "'l·i,•11 tt.,·(.4-

(ls the• bod~· 01pabl1.• of f(,nfo~ing &n}1hing?)

36 l WRl11NG PUBLIC PROSE

'n-lE CRAI~ Many qu~tir•nr, about the budy wdl nL~-er tJt. ~m~"l\~rt'd. bur thice. Here is the same sentmce in acth..- voice: ~

train

~

the truek.

The subject rw, longer receiVl"S the action. The train has

WRJTING PlJBUC PROSE I 39

('HAPTER 5

bc·comt• tht" ~ubj,~1. and it crrat~ the- action. That 18 acti\.'t" \'tliCC.

By ,\1.itrhin~ to acti\'e \·oice we ha\·c eliminak--d a \'erb. h'.:I.~. ,ind ii pn•f)()!ilfion. b_v. Togt""ther rht1· had ma~ the sentence -fO pt·rcrnt longc-r. Thi~ is nor an unu~aJ result of paS5ii\-r voice. iirld it 1s ,me rc,,~,n good wnt~~ a,'Oid pai-,sivc \'oK'~ when thev ran. ffut ,ictivt_- voiCt' hH') at least two otht~r l>Mll·fits lake:" a ron\·olutt'd ~ntence that seem~ tu -.tart off in St-\'• rraf dirC\"tion!t ,md ends up going nowher~. Now, take a dos.• look at it. Chances ,u-e. the writt•r began wrilin,:. the" ~"'ntcnct• in pa~si\'t• \'Uk~ FE-w other f'omL'- of sloppy writing produc".. iitK·h

nmddin«.~ss. IVarA·mg tm 11n,1.,/Jtlf.teT~ n.v,r allm...v.1 lt'1n 1,1 "'lh"'II up 41tl,f'T

(.,,_,,,.,rrn11it11.·.... .,·url, a.i brh1;: """'i11at~J b_t1 a ttacll,·r a.., aJ 111c..•~ rtp,:,rh·r tc, thr Rep"l•lic,m 'Vat1,r11,tl Cm1c't'tttrm1 tJu.' ),'t"ll, it '4'Q!'h,·I,./ m .\li,rr,rs.(,ta. whn't" '" l14ld grull.:tt 11p. Yes. thi~ ~nlent.'t'- dot.•~ bt.•~in in .tctivt- voice-, but in lht.•

sc·rond dau~. 1t bark.slid!">.

rn·. it thi~ wa,·. inslt"ad:

\\'pporlunitit-" A tt>ar-her O(,nunated him In r~f)')rt rww~ frum thl'" Rl1JUblkan Natu.mal c:un\-entillO tl1t" y~ar it wa5o in ~linn~l4. Thafr; w~fi' h... ,zte\'' up.

Active Voice and Honesty Anot~r reason to use.. adive voke i.~ tlutt it is morr hone~. It t.,h~ rl.~pon.,ihilit)' ra~sh't" \'okf" i~ a way to avoid rcsponsibiltl )·. At le.~t lturt• rt"11d1rn,tr ILl'Q$ built-and abandmuJ- -lmn,l,~.J:- oj war~ l>t:_{u,~ Cdls arrll~ ir, r"""UJI i.< nmv f.:n,:lanJ,

Archaeologist~ don't know who built Stoll(6henl(". su tht~ \·oice must be.· pu.~v~.

Active Voice. Clarity, and C.Tispness AtCl\·'t." \'oire is direct, hotM:sl. l"11 h.>p of ~ pt11 ~/ wain". nren. ti,, asparagu.~ i1 p,,1 mlf/,ilt a i.•ir.krr /1Q.fkrt. ,mJ tJ1,· IHlskr.t t.-.: plaad o,i lc>fJ c,J tlzr. dwp!iUr.k." Tl~ i..1atn ~ brt,u~"1 11.1 a b,,J/, and tltr. t1,paroiu~ i.~ ummrd.fHr no "'01t than 1011rl11utr"!I·. so a slight

rmnc:htne~, ii rr.tainr.J.

It 8eems to takt' ~, long 10 g~, the• St~nt~nce nut. But when you tun, these in~1ructaun!' into command.ft.. u.~ng acti\-r voir.c.. they bt.-rorm.· much more crisp and dear The writer addrt•s.w-s the- reader dirtttt~,. with •you.. implied. Plou a pair of ,:J11111~tick4 on tap oj 11 pm ,f wakr. Put tht a.;.paragu~ fm;idr a wtd.er ba.drl. a11J platt thr. baAA,1-'t rm ttJp oj th, dr,,p~tid!t. 8ri11g th" u,aler 1,, 11 bml and stt"'n /J,~ asparaJ..ru:i /c,r ,w morr tlra11 I() ,,,in.ulcs. ~a ii r,,tain" a ...light cr"mhl1Jr".f.

He-tt are ·some mo~ examples of how !tcti\1e voitt create\

claritv= •

('I-IAPTER .5

.·lft1•r m,v dQ/J,~~ li~·rr on. J drm.y, h> th, fi,rl,e>u~ . .-\fl~r I put m~· d.:tth~ on. I Jro\11• to the firehow.ie rou'l'r Jri,•ing tn i4'0rk, ,mtl II tt annourU.t!,I nn the mdio that 1hr. rc•nrpat1_t-' :-1011 u.\?t°A f,,r i-; lrrt.'.Qkt,rt-: apart. '\"(,u'n• drh·ing to wtJrk, und the r.Mbo Ill!\\~ reponr!'r announl~ th.11 the- company ~-ou work for~ br~,tking Apart

.Vc>lltlllK l,ut J,ij. hear~v /Jtr.athmg (QII 1w ~an.I by him. arul ,m(v tl1t ,/fa/ar,t ttllA." nnr br .'«JI irr fht ,lirrk.n~H. Ht• ('an hear nmhing bur hi1; l1t-it\')' brcathma. and ht- ..:an ~~ c.1nly •~ di~tMJ& oaks in d-w darkn~s.

Passi\~ \'lll('l' not onlv. rob,; ,.,entcnC'f."S of t..iarity. ,md «on• omy. it burit9' thl" subject of the- 'S$ plik:t• along Ult" Inca Trail /:t't;'t\l

t?t•ar lhrrr

·""'" ;._ ~till 111 r,t"t'd ,~f ;n.,tr"clim1 i1m/ prtJr tta. She- still 1itt"ds tn.'iln1dton and prat'id(' "'a.!i banbht-d, now it'~ i·alJNI rllmi,· ,-J,.,an.~ill): Alhlr-1~ al nnr uni\o\."-NII)' nu longer play ~a~ the~· en• gage in at/tit.tit ,mup,•Uli.fm, ar'\·ording 10 mail from tJw ,uhJ""tic r ,1f ni1tn"'11rtlr_v ar.cumpli..Jt"IL'11t~.

rti!U thr. r~adt.,. W~I tho1.,..... acn1mph.,hllll'Ots arc. dlld thL• r~adt•r dt"Od.tu,,ab t Sliprs Pub l!Jot l, n-13~ • f ' ~ Sf.mldmg...'Ilk- Ton, Tum· Club." £\\' .com. Augmt t6, 2001. http://"~·.r.w .t.·umll'!W'/artidt•Al...20f71t'•22_ 17116',1MlhtmV

u.c.

WRITfNr; Pl ~RI JC PRClSlt I ~1

Chapter 7

The Eternal Cliche: Word Exhaustion-the Death of Originality l 'I Th~n \\fiUi~m Shakt-~"aN- \\TOI~ -parring i$ ~-uch swt"N VV ,...-_,rrow.• the· words wr-rc as fr~h as the play from \\•hirh they c:nmt•. \\.'hc•n IScnjnmin Franklin fir.it pt•nncd ·a penny SD\'~d " a pennr camL~." 1hr phra~ must M\'c- struck his f~llow Clllonial~ as thc- ultimalt· in pith, innovation. and '\\-1sdom. It might ev,,n ha\•c impr~.;ed " few Ariti.~. Ill whom tht· 1'1ngtlll~l· rightlully IX6long..~d. \\'ht•n \\'inst()n (.'.hu~hi11 r~,int:d me 1erm inm nnta111, the.· h~m, \\ilS li,~ty J:> art a 11um "' v.'OtfWll's l7t..ft friend. 11w

mlblt and foving ,-Jax ,,.- dn,111ll.v dm,t.-d tn !/OU and UVlnl.s to ~ t, 1ilh _you jt1mv'T. ff,r>err 1-mr.n a dog 15 $C'Talching him or hn-self or u. ltt l,r ~II, 15 W(trklnx on g,uw..itng at o. bo,l#.', M CU' ,h.- is 11/r.1.Vl.V~ tl,Jnli.i,,g •>/ -VttU. 1hr. nwlrr or mism-.u of .wu, tanU"sl aml loral,l.r conin1

.J,~,

.

rmHpanlsm.

\\TRJTL~G PUBLIC PROSE 1 55

CHAPTI:R 7

The Making of a Clich~ Man)· writt•r" believe- that if a cliche d(';("ribt..._ wh..1t ,~ou want 10 sa~·. thl'n u~· it-if tht" dich~ fit.,. Wl"ar ii. :\ couple of pn>ble-n1.1t corm· with that ht-lief, though. \:o matter how wl'II chr. dicht fih, rc.tdl-.:-d t>t:' worthy. but he mu!ol resi~ 1M temptation to adopt it N~ his own, fi~ bP.cauM- ii would be .a sh.unelt!~ lht"ft, and ~'\'.und l,«ame a thou~nd &.tthrr tmit.1tn't" wntl!~ ~~ !'Utt to do th~ samr. lh.sl t!t the wuy tu avoid did,~. And the:- wrirer who , ~ tht- fo.ihionahle "ill alw•>~ Ix- in sayfo '16:,-161,i Ontt way to t ~ if )'our wurdi or p ~ are tired "' tu

determine if the)' ha\'(! potential romic valut:. Oft.en. a word

or a phrn!it! is f unn)' sitnply bccauSt• it's be~n ove:--ru~ and it~ expr~itm bring,;. it not laughter. groan,.

Juggling Jargon: The M.ark of a Lazy Writer One sutt way 10 avoid be.ing original i.~ lo get caughr up in lhe." jargon of the bui.i~ or profeslivn ~•ou're in. As do clichl's, jargon provides a comfortable t.--satpe for thr llt.zy writer. Ju~t parrot the expr~ons ~'OU hear each day. and you net'il not WflrnNf: Pl ~I

tr PR~ I 'iQ

CHAPTE.k 7

,,.,11ys tu ~)' thinJC~. fhe tnnJbl~ i5, intdlig imptu-1 fa_.. a verb)

'"'plt?nn1f (as a \'~rb, in tlu- 1."Tttll (!/ i11 f ra.ft norw of its mr.ani113._1

usro

as a ,~rb. localt'•' pl"rfom1~ a legitimatt- function. TI1at•lj why wtt'\.-e listed it as " rf'd-f1;1g word. \'ersus a no.-no 8ul (9\lt'n then. the Anglo-Saxon \'IW / outul dot.~ a better job. If

Flnlll(y, aft~r ii.,· allrmpb ciut"ing a pnfod ,,f Hlk,1,rs ,111,1.11 mi,wl~. a hrliropter lot11k-d tht ,l,tp,a:..,,~clc surr-irur.i... FinaJJy. af,~r six attempt!' during a period of 8 hou"' M1d :rz 1ninute~ a helicr,pter found th~ shipwreck 1tUrvi,·oJ'l\.

Another n-d.flag word. t'.:rt,011r(y, aJong with its cou.~in. r.~r_'I, can kill t~ impat~ of thl" words 1hey ""- fflt)(lifying. Vrry i~ so overused that it has c-arned its own diSC!'.a~. tht' -Vtl~·ribc.• thl- purttiW:al in ~omr dt!tail. and l,•c tht- rc.,~r df.'cidt~ if ii wa.~ ~riking or t"\'t-11 ~xcrenwl~· stri~ing I

An example of th(' ..\'l""ry di~a~" is tht• fol10"1ng:

n,r

U:\11

In

lruq ;_.. ._iny umqur.

4T~f't"·!'> nu ,;uch thin~ ifs degret-'.'11 1.,t u,uq~ne.,. If sumt•

thing or !Omrotll" L\ uniqU('. d~ribe h~· ifs diff~rent and rnaybr the" rt!adt-r will r~ward y(lu b) c:-onrhtdiu~ tht- war i~ untqu~.J

~,.,,.,,J

711,· Em•imrttnt"tJliU l'ualo.·tJ,,,r .•1.i:t'Tl•~V plan... to S22 nri/lii,11 to ~f.l ti,,• lt,1!01J,,11~ ,. '61.,tr.., ,,111 of thr SE I 65

\4

CHAPTER 8 Tltrtf'

c.. ia.~ a c{tit.tlmg ~•ir11'°, breru a1111inl{ .uTos~ tht· 01u1·tyarJ.

.-\ l·nol wincrr bree1.t· wafted ocr,~~ th~ counyard

Another Special Red Flag-Fttel Don ~l g~t jt!t'l confus«:.-d with thi11k. t.)r bt'lia~. F«I refon. ~pecificalJ~· to en1otion or smsory infom,ation If ii tn\1a/J,-. 111~ ~lCt·«"r ~II eluded aJ1t- go&llie-. /Ir,~ c'UJt•.1>•tng a bu..;y l~f, m Cmd11nat1. H~ rn)l,~ a bw.-y lif~ m Candnnali. 66 I \YRITINC Pl mt tr Pll°"I•'

RED 1-1..AGS AND NO.NOS Sh,

wants to lJ.it one of tl,os, hn..t.1/t'TS 14,Jw art n'Pft5rt1ling tltt

pour. S~ wanllS 10 be a lawyrr who reprNent)i t~ poor.

U·11ilr 5-lic- i.~ pi11-sulng hrr ,u:adrmic ca1"r, .,;.J,t .~u11IJ ~ t.&."1/C"hlng m,t f,,r rtMb.,agut's t..."1.. , arr nu1kmg catty rommn,h ubout hn. As t-hc pun~ htt acadmuc carr.cr. r,h~ ,;.tklllld ward, c,u1 for collengu~ who rrwkr ratty comJTl(-nts about hc•r.

No-Nos: Don·t Use Them Unless They Are in a Di-

rect Quotation. Guod writers u~ red flags if they knuw why t.twf re 11.~ing tht-m and havt' gt,..~ th~mselv~ perm~ion to u~ t.hffll. But the)' know that some word~ and usages !,tmpl~· do not belong in mo~l writing. l~nless the)· take the fonn of a dirc..-c.1 quotation. n1.-..~ shouldn't appear in ynur writing. The~· usually add tixtra syllabi~ or worm and are rt"dundant. H~re ts a list of ~m~ no-no~U/Jt)" (K{)u .. meam the same lhingJ rs try to avoid-past perfec.~ and prrsenl pc-rfe(.1.

UIDm9'U! DI fRI I r Pill~

I T-t

CHAPTER adcat-1 quote~ ,\r~ sound bih--s, If ttu.• on...air reader is quuting, though. make ~u~ he or sht• uS Gastronomic dr:-lkadt.~ loun,~dt>, (T( >OR'nc. h-dohz}; tht' ~fcxiom volcuno l!ctadhuatl (lsh-tah-Sf.F.•wah-til). R~uters (ROY'-ll!rl) nMvs scrvi~: the Chuwst9 city of Ch~ngdu (Chong-DCXl' I: l.ouisvm~ (LOO"•his-vil). Colorado. as oppo~ to Loui.«,ville I LO ,~-chwriter neeJ"

li,tf'n to ttw rhythn,~ of Engli!-h. If you aren't goc,d at that. practic~ listening to t.•\'l•ryonl'9 all the time. It will ctmw (If the ~pc-aker 1~ tu

be- ctbl that readc-n will be inten-sta.."geth"r mt-ans ~erything in one plactA, altogt'thtr mt~an~ ~ntirely. allot, a lot. Allot means lo nK'1l• llUt ur di8tribute. and alol is not a word. Tht~ cx-pre.~iot, a lot bordti~ on the rds. aU ready. already. They already told you that ~n.J.t,,• for the game 10 ~in.

ttu,·

are u/1

amoral, immoral. The test seems to be just how sinfuJ the ~ubject is. l! ~ ~ immoral. she is morally wrong. If he is a,m,ral. he simply dot-sn't conc~.m himSuck.._ l'xp«i to QII 1..-ru.t tic- ttw- RNI Wings.

anxious. eager. ll ck~pends on how much the subject is looking fo~·ard to the e,,~nl U }•es, ~ i~ ,-age.r. If not. she is auxfou>.

area. nature. -oriented. Generally ~-peaking, tJ~ terms an~ too general and ar~ ofte.n awkward wht!.n they are ~ a.«. adjectives. And tht-)' are usually redunoont Sht 111.ughl III ti~ arta "r dll cx(.'lbc.- to bt.· wordy and b--s ipcdfic. (A~ a \.'t:rb, faclL•r. as in .. factor in; can be us 1h~ writer. but thl? reackr u~ually dut'/Jn...,.-. ur thi,iA·.,· b bt'tll'r, but the rein-t>lho\'en-and oue not ~, lehtilinli11t". ·The venture was a ""~"' .. is rapidly bccllming a clichi·.

can.. may, might. Can implies ability: may impli~ p~nnjs. sion . .\·lay can also imply pus!\ibility, but might u~uaUy works better. t\~ far a1.,; th~ t"Jitor iJa ront"t~~. the rra,oncr mm; f.:over

.an,·.

,tot'\'

'

he ,.,,,mts to. but nm h~,

case. An ovc.. ru~d word that ic. often redundant It i~ rarnly tJ,,. casr th,11. ,,, toJ.i_i/.~ ba.~JI. mcxt liall.-r, t,:v I«-> ,In u,,_vtl,inR lrul ltit ho~ run-..

In b ~ l today, mo~ baUt11ti11unu..~/.\1

It

~b ,ontlnu-

cullidr. ausl,.

dangling modifiers. misplaced modifiers. If you ha\'~ a modifier·-· an adjl.,.,i\'e or adverb---that doesn't m,ldif)' an}1hing in tht- !'tlt'Oll"ttc&a, then it ctln~b or modifies the wrung \\'ord. , }t,f (I_{ /11t'I. t)y-

u.,t uf ti,~· car:- /NU-vtl Jt/f f~rdo,i ·.,

llw n~t ni the.• tars pa_~ Jt•H G~lttkm\\, whkh r.an vut

or fu~l. ~•ch and evtty. Twn worth too numy. E.t't.·r_y wUJ suffice

~•pr. anxious.

Set■

anxim,~. etiRtr.

~minent, imminent. E.111i,ir111 n-.ean-. distinguishl-d. II u~ually refor~ lo a JlE'™•" lmmi11r,1I means impending and intplies thn.•al4."ning. something that could happen soon. entbl.&9e. A m~ottr.n form t1( the noun enthusia.vn. it tries to r~plna- wrb~ such a~ ni.cm,rage. ,notit'ate, rhopjQJiu.. or gush. AA t \VRITIN(; PL'fJlJC PROSE

SM.I:: ut lht pr0$p«I af llttniding a pr,-:ttigiou.i x,u,-lualt ~dwol. Silt- t.alkt"d about h,m· ~a~r !ihe bt It> au..-11 degree.

Tt\t& Jartl~r I dl'M' this ga..~ hng. lhe / urthrr it ruts into m)· money ~upply.

feel. A 5J>('C'ial word ,.hat m~ emotion or ~nsnry r~action. II should not be U!it-d ro replate "'think" or •b(~lst"Vl•.· ln JOUr• nalislic writing. f ttl can ofh~ be replaced ~ith a ~ulral ·said"' or ..!wl)'S...

finalize . A piece of bu~in(tS8-t.~ that ha~ found its way into pomp.'ft.e5Shi a cur. an 1:kY.nt t ~ tht~· \\-1.~ niorf' tnlclhgmt llw11 JX"Ollk· of othtt nK't'S.

there ia. tbere are. there was. there were. Starting a sentenct- witJ1 ml)' of t ~ phrn~"' !\h\.ltJld cause a r◄:-d tlng to pop up .ind furrt• the ,~Titer to ask. ·1.r- thu;. necc~111·;.• l 1~"1.~1Uy. all the.• phrns«.-s dt.1 i~ duuer a ~•ntence- and i;ap ii of the -~trt-ngth of' its nction \'erbs.

they aay. 1ni.s is a sloppy way t4.> back up an argu~nt that appattntly can't be supported any other way. It is unacc.:-ptabk· in any fonn of writing. Who are they. anyway?

'WI I lVll lTil\l'r. l1I !RI

rr•

1>Dn,cc

STYLE GUIDE

to, too, two. Getting th(•m confused is embarra!iSing. but it hap(l('ns l'>flt.'11 too dol~ '""'" In ,· n'U'Jl lu.YJ ht' Iorxottl'II. Our twu datr~ ,,-ert- too crv.y to bt• forgouen. 011r

Wli.otereated. Stt ,/i..-.;,,1t'Tt'-sled. u11i11tnrst~d. unique. This rarri~ no ~gree~ \l( uniqueness; ~,rnething is either unique llr it isn"t. (The word is o\•f'rused any,vay .) So tCJ say ~m~thing ~ -m~t unique" ur ..,-cry unique· is to say ir~ "unkprr" than any other uruq~ th.ing. which n1ake5 no ~ -

upon. Unless yoo're being poetic or quoting someone, scick with on.

utilize. Llse us.r. II work~ bettt>r.

whether. Set• ~f. r.. lu-thrr. 1

whose. wbo·•-

l\'h1>~t

i.~ .s po~ssiv~ pronoun. n,1w·,- itJ a 01n-

traction.

If we- don't tdl wJ""'-' ~k

wt-

plapartgd, who·~ going cc,

kn(m·?

your. you're. )'our is trac-tion.

~

pc>S....essivt• pnmoun. >,.m:,.rt' is a con-

Yuu'n- going co gel ,V Elt"m,·11/.>i of St_,;/,•. 50th an.nivl'rsa~· edition. L.o-ngtnan. 1999. 2tXj8,

o,,

Zit1~"SC."r. \\'illiam. J\'rili11g ~V,•I/ 25th annin·rsary t'