Coming Home: The Return to True Self [2 ed.] 1882591232, 9781882591237

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.^-j^'.:^

.*^-t^T'^-T ^"^^ '•'*'»*"fci*A«fe..*.,

*•'

.^«i'()ur life.

This alignment can be particularly effective in trans-

and

future.

forming your experience of

distress. For

are facing a personal difficulty, a

deep breath, and

choose

moment

ment. Take a that

am.

I

— without

for that situation to

I

to affirm

move

into

Sometimes you

something

shift to take place, it

my

distress

like, "I

open

to all

allow the energy of

I

life."

may not

even though

it

may

consciously. Your intention

at a

my

will feel the effects of this affirmation

will take place regardless

happen

take

deep empower-

a vehicle for

feel

Trust the thought of alignment anyway,

feel

moment,

align with higher truth, with higher light, with

immediately. Other times you

not

for a

denying any of your

be

higher love. Through this situation, true self to

when you

example,

you can stop

and pause

core energy level

deep

for a

be so subtle that you canis

powerful, and the

of whether you

and

anything right away.

feel

lay the

it.

shift

Subtle shifts

groundwork

for

future experiences that will noticeably match your affirmation.

process of alignment and have even the most subtle sensation that something has shifted— perhaps your If

you do

this

spine stands just a little,

bit taller,

or you have a

new

your

feeling of

ever subtle, however insignificant "I

accept the

light,

and

I

facial

it

muscles have

lightness— notice-

rchixeel a it.

How-

may seem, acknowledge

allow the subtlety of

it."

it.

COMING HOME

80

When you you

ence,

understand the power of such subtle experi-

take a lot less for granted in

life.

By attuning

to the

very subtle shifts that occur in response to your directed

thought and feeling, you begin

to truly

how you

each moment.

affect

your

reality in

Reality

created

is

tiny bit by tiny Imagine that your current

understand and witness

life,

bit.

your current

reality,

is

a

made up of microscopic pieces that you put Some areas are still in the process of being assembled,

great puzzle together.

so the puzzle

is

incomplete. Each time you align with a subtle

within yourself, you take a

shift

into place. This

press

it

your

life

together as

what you attune

to,

is

new

piece to that puzzle and

a self-directed

way of literally putting

you go along. By consciously choosing

you are creating the content of the puzzle

and the forms of your

life.

27

As you think about consciously creating your

wish you were better

at

manifesting. Yet, the truth

are already manifesting most excellently

look it's

at

life

your

full

of

life is a

human

Your very

in

fcar,

doubt, pain,

rich blend of

what

it is

that

you

to you.

joy,

to

Whether

or lightness of

be alive and

vital

experiences.

ability to create in physical reality

enabled you to be here

have the inherent

is

you may

every moment! Just

and see how much has come

happiness, sadness,

spirit,

and

your

life,

ability to

is

what has

A being who does not manifest would never get into physt

in the first place.

CREATING YOUR WORLD

To be here

ical rcalitx'.

physical form. After ability to manifest

must

noli

anything

manifest yourself into

first

you have done in \()ur

81

you naturally have the and \'()u never lose that

that, life,

ability.

Yoi^

are the creator of your

some

at

level

life;

you have wanted

or needed every experience

you have encountered. Recognition of

this truth

more conscious manifesting.

is It

fundamental step toward

a

allows you to recognize the

power you have been using all along and to begin to direct it with intention. Yet, you may find that you have some resistance to this idea. Believing that

wanted sonality.

all

life

and have

that you've created can be frightening to your per-

Your personality often

your being are If

you have created your

you

forgets that greater levels of

in charge.

unhappy with your work and you

are

enough money

to

pay the

bills,

don't have

your personality ma\' refuse to

accept that you created such an "undesirable" situation. say,

"I'd

be stupid

to create this!"

responsibility for creating your yourself, as

though creating such

able situation

is

life

a

may

think (hat taking

means having

to

blame

challenging or uncomfort-

from

that the

deeper soul of your being

a different vantage point. IVrhajis

personality doesn't want the situation of having

and insufficient money

to

cover your

bills;

soul does choose that situation. Your soul that challenge

may

a negative thing.

Your personality forgets views your

It

life

It

you

a

your

job you hate

but perhaps \()ur

may

see that through

will learn important lessons: lessons aboui

who you truly are, what your spiritual relationship with money deeper heal is, or how clearing your issues with monex' can :i

inner struggle.

COMING HOME

82

The soul's teachings are usually

much broader than anything the personality

can grasp right You may not be lesson

able to completely understand

about until you have lived

is

soul teaches your personality lived through the it,

let

through. That's

how your you have

deeper teaching enough

somewhere deep

created each situation in your

enough If

to

open

you think

that

to really

understand

let

yourself surrender to

within,

you have wanted and

life

to the learning

what your

living. So, until

it

— by

yourself be unknowing! Also,

the sense that,

away

it

and

you love yourself

that

brings.

owning your power

means

to manifest

you must blame yourself for your "misfortunes," see

that

can open your heart to a

new compassion

the self-blame. Your manifestations are never

They may sometimes be uncomfortable, whelming, but they are always

Maybe you

are

used

to

outside circumstances) for

for a

you

if

that will gently melt

wrong

painful,

or bad.

or over-

deeper purpose. Always.

blaming others (other people or

some of your

difficulties or pain.

human thing to do, and almost everyone has this tendency. Owning your power to manifest disrupts this pattern of blaming others, and your personality may respond with

This

is

a very

resistance to this change.

Three major forms of resistance may

1.

Fear of Shifting the Blame.

If

surface.

your personality needs

blame other people or situations ("He unhappiness." "You can't buck

how

life is."),

though premise fault

will

be

the cause of

my

the system." "That's just

afraid to let

go of outer blame,

as

defenses are being taken away. Here the basic

its is,

then

it

is

to

it

"It

must be somebody

s fault;

must be mine." Within that

if it's

belief, if

not their

you

take

CREATING YOUR WORLD

the blame off others

That

automatically falls back onto you. uncomfortable, unfair, and debilitating; no won-

feels

der you

resist

it

it!

Fear of Losing Your Power

2.

Your personality may assume

that taking responsibility for creating

your

matically letting everyone else off the

behavior.

83

If

life

hook

means

auto-

for his or

you hold yourself accountable, but

feel

her

you no

longer can hold other people accountable for themselves, it

feels as

though they have power and you

weakened and forced

into a passive role.

don't.

You

feel

No wonder you

resist this, too!

Fear of Being Stuck. You may have a hidden belief that if you avoid responsibility for something uncomfortable in

J.

your side

will

life, it

go away

the fear that

is

if

— or

be

at least

it

locked

even more. The assumption

straight on,

you

flip

be reinforced and

reality will

its

is

be stuck repeating the pattern, caught again,

The

you do claim what you have created

and face in

less real.

that

in

it

you

for

will

then

good. Here

resist.

Ironically, in spite

beliefs, to the

of these

degree that you

distance yourself from whatever you have manifested in your life,

you

are likely to continue to manifest

at

my power

to manifest;

I

that I've created the difficulty in

When you

con-

do not want to do not want to acknowledge

sciously or unconsciously say to yourself,

look

it.

my

tinue to create that very difficulty.

life,"

"I

you

are likely to con-

You unconsciously

experiences over and over until you

own

your

create

creation.

you create what you have, you distance yourself from your power and weaken your ability to draw to you what you want. Or, if you reject your current life and try to escape from it into something new, you will tind

By

that

rejecting the idea that

you never quite seem

your current

life

to get

away

It is

by

fully einl^r:Ring

and loving yourself in the midst

oi

it

tliat

you

COMING HOME

84

what needs

heal

empowered

be healed, that you

to

and

to create

the life

to love

have,

yourself

midst of all your creations.

in the If

to

exploring

you already

learning

you completely accept

that

you have created your

you embrace your creative power. Changing your

becomes much and sincerely as

if

I

this

simpler.

my

life

then

You can look at a difficult experience happened to me, and if feels

to

being that

I

want

this in

manifested

my life.

this.

I

Yet

I

see from the

accept that

I

created

experience out of deep wisdom and love for myself.

to the learning If

life,

say, "It feels as if this

would be crazy

heart of

are

the act

is

of surrendering

and

and

something new.

attract

Living

free yourself

has to

it

you continue

thing in your

to

open

offer."

be unconscious of manifesting every-

you continue

life,

I

to feel that things

happen

to

you. But as you allow yourself to acknowledge and align with

your deep creative power, you free yourself

to manifest

more

consciously and compassionately.

Another way of saying

in

your

life.

this

is

You love

ple

your

who

life

may

can do

when you

surrender to

yourself, instead of judge yourself, in the

midst of your creation, no matter fortable

that

you surrender to having created everything

the creator within,

it

be.

how

comfortable or uncom-

This surrender

need

to

is

be told very

an act of power. Peolittle

about

how

to

manifest.

Surrender deeper.

It is

is

not just mental or emotional.

It

is

much

the feeling of complete immersion in the experi-

ence of yourself as creator of your

life

and immersion

in love of

yourself in the midst of vour creation. This love does noti

CREATING YOUR WORLD

necessarily

mean

or even that

you

that

you love what you've created

that

your

in

particularly have to be comfortable with

you \owc yourself m the midst of it

intuitively

85

know how

the future. In fact, as

to create

you

sit in

all.

it,

but

there you will

what you want

for yourself in

that immersion,

whatever you

think and deeply feel you want in your

programming

From

life

life is

instantly put into

When you have the experience of yourself as manifestor, you are able to conthe

for future manifestation.

sciously direct that manifesting ability to enrich any area of

your

you choose.

life

29 1^i^i^c'iyyhU^

Major transitions are not always truths. as

Sometimes

yi>Wi.

easy.

^tccM takes time to live

It

you go through transformation,

as

though every personal pattern

becomes stronger or comes

that ever held

you from

at

find yourself caught in feelings or

a

new

you

memories of being unloved surface.

Remember that

you

that

you

it's

all

are losing

are

drop into yourself is

It

at a

this

happens.

that

deeper

you

true self.

It

docs not

will not

that

l')c

suc-

you have been

level.

This commit

like a light that shines into the dark coi-

ners of your unconscious, flushing out everything is still

frus-

progress.

simply means

your growth.

new depth

if

ground or

cessful in

to

making

right

willing to

that

Rigid

You can become confused or

for a while.

trated or doubtful that

ment

You may

of "can't have" and "don't deserve" may seem to get the

better of

mean

seems

you back

angle.

and alone. Emotional pain and despair may beliefs

it

new

holding you back and keeping you

:it

that lc\cl

scpatatc^ lioin

These shadows are unclaimed aspects of

\()ur In-iiig,

COMING HOME

86

where you have been afraid to "turn on the Now, out of love of self, you are allowing these

areas or issues light" before.

issues to

come forward

to

be faced and embraced.

Each area of darkness is your offering to the light of your true being. Each transition through the darkness sage,

performed out of great love

a

is

sacred

rite

of pas-

and willingness

for self

to

become whole no matter what the challenge. You are moving into greater abundance; open your heart to yourself and proceed, allowing each shadow to make its way to the light as it is drawn out for healing. In the midst of this transition, your inner blocks to

ing your true desires can issue,

understand that no block

has power of its own.

ence

come

seem very

it

and because

it

A block seems

is

a real block; that

its

moment you move through

But the

and willingness

your old pattern, the block loses

no block

is,

because you experi-

real

to affect you.

to a true inner readiness

In dealing with this

real.

appears

to

power.

Simply allow yourself to add something greater limited beliefs.

ence or belief

You

to

fulfill-

your

to

rarely have to get rid of a limited experi-

grow beyond

simply adding something

to

it

it.

What

is

most empowering

that will help

is

you expand.

The truth will always help

you expand.

Your blocks arc the areas where your personality with limitation. Sometimes you may sonality has the

feel as

most control over you, but because

most superficial aspect of your being, true power.

identifies

though your

As we have

it

seen, the greatest

it

is

per-

the

always has the least

power comes from

the deepest core of your being: your true, unlimited

self. Asi

CREATING YOUR WORLD

you move inward, or deeper, from your

87

personality, caeh level

of awareness earries greater truth and, therefore, greater power.

more

In other words, the

awareness

is,

the

elosely aligned with true self your

more power

it

carries.

For example, the belief of 'can't have" can remain, undisturbed,

and you can

yourself to hold

two

still

have what you want.

levels of

awareness around

the deeper awareness will always carry

more

time, will transform the

your personality's belief

("I

given

am

superficial belief.

("I

issue,

more power and, over So

you hold

if

in limitation ("I can't have")

the deeper truth of essence desire

essence abundance

you allow

If

a

alongside

want greater

ease") or

willing to have"), the deeper truth

will prevail. It

may

take time

the deeper level

and repetition

whenever

a

— remembering to attune to

block seems to be stopping you

but sooner or later the deeper truth

That

is

When

it

why you do

w ill

transform your block.

not have to reject or fight your block.

becomes your

habit to

open

to the

deeper

level,

your

block will be transformed naturally by the greater power of the

deeper truth. This process can also give tremendous support other approaches you

may be exploring

for mental,

to

emotional,

or energetic clearing.

Truth

always transforms nontruth.

The truth of your being is a brilliant light that will shine into the shadows of your less true self, transforming the dark to light whenever you offer those shadows to it. You make Nour offering with your awareness. belief or desire, let

When

a

limiting

deeper

level, (o

you recogni/e

your awareness move

to a

the greater belief that already exists along with the limited or to the deeper desire

below the

superficial one.

one

COMING HOME

88

As the greater truth transforms the lesser one, the energy that

went

your limitation begins

into maintaining

expanding your experience.

seemed

work

to

against

Similarly,

all

go into

to

the old energy that

you or block your way

now serves you

by clearing your path and propelling you forward into greater growth. So, alongside the belief of "I

cannot have and

I

do not

deserve; everyone gets to have what they want but me," add greater. Remember what you truly are: love. From remember what you truly want. Then allow your-

something that love,

self that true

of thought

wanting even though your conditioning or habit

tells

you

ing of support in I

feel that

I

you cannot have

that

my

do not deserve

even though IVe always than for me. This

is

I

want

it

it.

"I

I'm willing to receive

life.

it."

felt

"I

feel-

even though

want joy or ease

was meant

it

want the it

in

my

life

for others rather

anyway, and I'm willing to have

most empowering. None of your limitations

stopping you. The universe

is

it."

ever truly

very generous, and you can

is

always have what you truly want or need. You just need to be willing.

As you move into

this shift

of awareness, the mental condi-

tioning that had been holding you back

speaking to you, saying things

"You do not deserve it.

If

you get

it

you

to get

like,

it

who

again."

Perhaps you also

When

still

reflect that limited belief

by

in the

midst of

you have greater choice. Without

resisting

the limitation, you can

empowers

continue

"You are not good enough."

remaining unsupportive of you. But now, even that old limitation,

still

what you want." "You cannot have

will just lose

have people around you

may

add

a greater reality to

it,

one

that

you. You can allow yourself to have. that old,

unsupportive voice comes forward, you do

it away Simply acknowledge it. Say, "Here it Then acknowledge and choose the new reality: "In

not need to push is

again."

spite of everything,

I

want what

I

want, and I'm willing to have

,

CREATING YOUR WORLD

it!" it

in

voice, claim the

deeper

truth,

and

feel

your body.

When you you

real to

self grows

place,

to truth

to include

your outer

Keep

way

align this

life

daily that

one— and,

as the old

attunement

you

new

Align witli the

89

new

in time,

becomes as even more real. Your voice

deepens, and your overall experience of

having

nou

\w\vdi

begins to

trul\-

and

shift

want. As this takes

reflect the change.

mind that things do not change for you because good perscMi, because xou are spiritual enough, or

in

are a

because you dress well. Hiese are

ments and do not matter.

It is

equally arbitrary assess-

all

what \ou hold

your experience

in

of self that determines what you create in your

desires,

and receive

fulfillment, so

a

day

look

to

at

life,

your

stop for a

life.

self, "Yes,

I

have created

this,

a

life.

week

your

Doing

will

and

it

moment,

"I

to

a shift in

is

say to your-

being the creator of

twelve limes

a da\- for

your awareness and in

your

in

life.

love myself," sometimes nou will

and sometimes you won't; self-love

several times

love myself in this cre-

I

be truly with yourself

you say

Sometimes ings.

perhaps ten

help bring

ability to

When feel

this

to \-ou.

Life #1

moment

ation." Truly sink into the feeling of

your

your true

Regardless of what \ou are

thinking, or feeling in the

doing,

feel

much more can come

Being Creator of Your As you go about your

When you

life.

can allow yourself to remember your essence,

either

way

is all

right

noticeable alongside other

leel

Other times, intense emotion may completcK nwv

shadow

the feeling of love of

more subtle

vibration.

.self,

which tends

to

he

ot

.1

COMING HOME

90

If

you do not

though you are looking sunset.

If

you find

feel the love at

all,

as

most subtle colors of

for the

a subtle feeling of love of

breathe to acknowledge and receive

is

Look within

feel the love, breathe.

do not worry.

It

it.

If

you

self,

a

then

do not

still

does not mean that

it

not there or that you are doing the exercise incorrectly.

Your act of inner alignment has power whether or not

you are able be working

to feel at a

it

at

deeper

the most conscious level. level

and

Being Creator of Your

Allow yourself

to

recognize

manifested a wealth of

human

that

During let

this

now and

life

that

is

life.

Whether

the

does not matter. Durlife,

you

are noticing

are being

how much

created.

week, also consider allowing yourself to

go temporarily of the desire

your

your

you have already

ing the few minutes of scanning your

you have already

to scan

experiences.

feelings are pleasant or unpleasant

with yourself as you are

will

#2

Life

some time each day

For a week, take

It

will surface in time.

to

change anything about

not absolutely necessary.

It

can be

liberat-

ing to take a week's vacation from feeling that anything

wrong and

that

you must do something about

This exercise

may

condoning everything stuck with

change

to

it

it

is.

bring up the fear that you will be in

your

life

Your mind

avoid things as they

reaction, see

from

as

if

trying, or

and n"iay

are.

even wanting,

to

will, therefore,

be

want

on

But

you can allow yourself

You may choose

is

it.

to focus

in spite

of that

to take a vacation

change anything.

to balance the desire for

change

with a thought or affirmation such as the following:

"I

CREATING YOUR WORLD

allow myself to receive learning and

everything

render to will

all

guide

have already created

I

have created

1

me

ing

first

my

at this time,

life"

and

I

or

"I

sur-

trust that

it

simple and

is

feels right for you.

lesson in being able to direct your manifest-

powers more consciously

already

empowerment from

in

growth." As always with affirmations,

in

use wording that

The

91

done

to

is

what you have

be enough. As you stop running away

from what you are

living with right

allow yourself to embrace your

accept yourself

to allow

if

you

feel

life

now, you begin as

it

is.

to

You cannot

you must run away from what

you have already created by quickly creating something better.

that

Open your

heart to the present and learn from

you have manifested. You

are

complete

in this

all

mo-

ment. You are an excellent manifestor already.

Being Creator of Your Each night

as

you

lie

down

to sleep,

align with yourself as manifestor of

body true

relax as

you think and

to

whatever

compassionately

your

life.

Feel

in the heart

of

become

feels

your

open

to

my being. my life.

manifestor and creator of

allow this knowledge to

wording

#3

feel the following: "I

wisdom and compassion

align with myself as

Life

1

1

real to me." Adjust the

most appropriate

to you.

COMING HOME

92

Being Creator of Your 1.

quietly for a few

Sit

movement of your to

drop into your

and warmth. 2.

.

.

moments and

breath.

.

.

heart. Feel

your heart's openness

heart, think or feel the following:

align within the heart of

my being, home of deep

...

dom and

help

life

I

compassion

to

I

have already created.

call

forward

me

fully

.

.

.

align with myself as manifestor. ... I

3.

am

feel the gentle

Allow your attention

.

wisdom and compassion. the

#4

.

From within your "I

Life

this wis-

experience

From my I

am

heart

I

vibrant and

aligned, always. ..."

Sit for a

few minutes longer

your affirmation.

in the reverberations

When you

are ready to

of meditation, breathe fully and the rest of your body. stretch

of

come out

become aware of

Then slowly open your

and move, and get up when you are

eyes,

ready.

The Healing Power of Intense Feeling

Sff^^ctioi^

Emotion

^ A \jeSUJU ^{n Sf^^^

the current of

is

moving through

life

body. Through emotion, refined spirit can

the physical

become

real to us at

the denser levels of our being.

open

to or resist

To the degree that we either emotion, we open to or resist unlimitedness as our human

circulates within the density of

it

Notice

self dense,

or to

how you

respond

to the

thought of having

your being. You may not be pleased

level to

want

and your

reaction

first

to transform

may be

your density

as

refined.

to

The glory of life

about coming into density and delighting

were an

consider your-

as possible. Perto

be

spiritual

you delighted

infant,

world, including

its

density.

in everything

To eyes

that

in physical in

and

some ways was

in

refinement of

far

more

form

When you

it.

about the physical

still

recognized

sence everywhere, the density of emotion gave off color

dense

deny your density

want

I

a

don't want to be dense."

I

Rejoice in your density! is

to

soon

haps you think, "Density can't be good.

and

selves.

es-

brilliant

fascinating than the

spirit.

So reconsider the density of emotion. Love the density of your

human

of density! explore

self.

It is

Claim

it.

hi fact, insist

what you came here

Some people heavy cross is

a right to

resist

to bear.

becomes a burden.

resist

the unlimitedness of refined

interpret the spiritual aspect of

there

on having your share

and you have

it.

Whatever you

a

for,

On

life

to

be

a

burden;

a loss of the joy of density seemingly

aspects of

life a

it

the other hand, if emotion

spirit AWi]

becomes is

resisted

making the denser

struggle or oppressive. Yet, as emotion

cepted and explored,

felt

and

integrated,

95

it

is

ac

create- a stronger

COMING HOME

96

connection with

deeper awareness of the

self as well as a

connectedness of

Emotions are

people and

all

all

things.

They have no

fluid.

inter-

set

boundaries that keep

them separate from each other. Any deeply felt emotion has the potential of opening the way for other emotions. For example, perhaps you have been so busy working on a project for several months that you haven't had a chance to be aware of your feel-

Then

ings.

the project

completed and you have time

is

your pace slows, you begin

were

to feel

off.

emotions you did not

As

realize

there.

Perhaps sadness ings, the

is

one of them. As you

sadness becomes a deep

group so you can have grieving. At

notice that a

stay

grief.

You

a safe place to feel

and

with your

talk

about your

some point as you move through the grief, you new joy begins to come into your life. You become

aware that feeling your grief has cleared the space

deeper joy

feel-

join a support

to

be

The

felt also.

willingness to ride

its

for the

emotion and your

fluidity of

current have guided you into a more

vibrant intimacy with yourself. It

is

also possible that the grief (or

any other deeply

felt

emotion) may spontaneously make you aware of your connection to

who

other people

all

Emotion

feel or

have

that emotion.

felt

an energy that does not belong to anyone, does not

is

begin or end within the person flows through

all

who

feels

it.

Each emotion

physical beings, connecting

them

at

the

deepest level of physical awareness. So, the grief

flows through

all

you

feel

into

and interpreting

emotion

not yours, but

in

your

connection with If

you have

is

not your

grief;

it

is

the grief that

people. Similarly, the sadness or joy or love

you

is

feel

in

life, it

self

is

a universal

your

own

becomes

and

energy you are tapping

terms. As

a vibrant

you open

expression of your

others.

a long-standing pattern of resisting

you probably adopted

to this

emotion,

that pattern in response to early envi-^

ENLIVENED EMOTION

97

ronmental pressure. Perhaps your family upbringing,

rein-

forced by experiences in society taught you

to resist or deny your current environment continues to reinforce your loss of emotional vitality rather than support you in

your

feelings. If

reclaiming

it,

you may very well

ing to deeply resisted

feel

emotion can

unable to change. Opentoo threatening without

feel

compassionate, reliable outside support.

You do not have not be able to do that

caused you

being,

you

may open

it

to

it

to

open

alone.

emotion alone. In

to

If

to close off to

a restrictive

fact,

you may

environment

such an important aspect of your

take an equally supportive environment to enable

You deserve

again.

tional self and,

with

it,

your vibrant emo-

to reclaim

the joy of density. You have every right

an environment of true support.

to

Finding that environment tional is

was

it

is

support and not giving up

in itself

the challenge. Seeking if

emo-

you have trouble finding

important work. Sometimes people

say, "I

it

cannot

find the right friends, the right therapist, the right group, the right technique," too,

up

and so on. Maybe

to this point, but

committed are you?

How

how

been true

that has

strong

is

demanding of

for you,

your insistence? life

are

How

you willing

to

be to create your supportive environment?

may not always be easy to find what you are seeking, but does not mean it is not available. Whatever you truly long

It

that for

is

always available. That

self to

it is

a mirror

is

a

given in

life.

of your commitment to

ment to reclaiming the brilliance of being

Your container for in this lifetime

is

How

you get your-

self,

your commit-

fully alive.

spirit

your dense

self

Your personality includes your thoughts, emotions, :incl physical body as well as your relationship with the outer work!

and other people.

It is

the container you use to carry unlimited

COMING HOME

98

spirit as

you move through the world. To the degree

resist the

is

you

density of that container, you restrict your ability to

carry conscious awareness of

be highly

that

spirit. If

spiritual, take loving care

you have aspirations

of your

human

self, for

to

that

truly the divine work.

%0

As you came into

this lifetime,

you brought memory of the

truth of your being. Unlimitedness of spirit

and you carried

was

still

was no separation. You were indeed one with all

real to

you,

so complete that there

a capacity for love

all

things and

beings.

As

we have

the environment in

and experiences

that

ness was not based

on unlimited

and took on the

others.

being;

it

beliefs

cultural conscious-

told

you

that, in fact,

Much of infancy and early child-

learning that here in physical reality you are

viewed and responded In return,

in general)

surrounded you. This

you were not one with

hood was spent

to

which you grew up (your family, your social

environment, and society

rate.

became acculturated

already seen, you then

to as

though you are completely sepa-

you were required

to display that reality of

separation through your actions, your communication, and

your inner experience. Through that separation, your sense of self

and your sense of That phase

in

reality

became more

limited.

your personality' development was an im-

portant part of your adaptation to physical reality and ited consciousness.

You came here

to

be

in the physical

its

lim-

world,

and you took on the conditioning of physical consciousness explore this reality more deeply.

to ,

ENLIVENED EMOTION

99

Now, from the midst of your exploration of the separation reality, you are starting to reopen to greater memory once more. This time you are inviting the and limitation of physical

awareness of true

become

self slowly to

personality, into the aspect of

integrated into your

your being

that has

embodied

the limited consciousness prevalent in the physical realm. At the core of this integration

have to be restricted

to

the discovery that you no longer choosing between submersion into the is

apparent limitation of physical

reality or

freedom of unlimited being.

does not have

It

expansion into the to

be either/or

anymore. From the midst of any limited experience, you can open to unlimited self.

You are developing the

contain

skill to

and carry both the limited and the unlimited together The

integration of unlimited being into a reality previously

based on limitation will ultimately be successful throughout the planetary culture. This success has already been destined,

not by

some powerful

lective

consciousness of

"outside" force or being, but by the colall

beings involved. All beings bring-

ing that destiny into reality, including you, have chosen their parts with care.

As you reclaim your deep memory of true with

all

things

and

all

beings,

based on unconditional self tap into a

deep

love.

level

you remember Beings

who

self

and unity

that this unity

is

are aligned in true

from which they

are flooded with

unlimited love and the feeling of true Home. This deep love naturally radiates

and

spiritually All

outward and connects them enetgetically

with

all

people desire

other beings, physical and nonplnsical.

not they are conscious of feeling of longing to

of truth and

love,

whether or

livery person

who

has

this state

go

it.

Home

is

longing

for that state

;»

deej^

whcte

COMING HOME

100

nothing can interfere with the deep connection between

and

self

What is so painful in the world is that there seem to many experiences that keep people from feeling their

others.

be too

true connection with themselves

and each

other.

Z1

This

is

where hate comes

in.

At a basic level, hate

is

an outlet

for

the outrage at being separated from the deeply loving aspect of true

self.

Because of

its

intensity

and extreme discomfort, hate

then also becomes another of those separating experiences,

adding further

to a vicious cycle.

As hate blocks your deep,

ing connection with self and others, the world seems

lov-

more

dangerous. More energy goes into defending and protecting yourself,

which reinforces separation and

away from conscious connection with For a

moment, remember

another person. Your feeling

form of anger

that at

to

you day

something specific

No

a situation

you further

self.

when you

in that situation

hated

may have been

may have simply been hate in the you could not seem to get over, the sort of

extreme rage and hatred, or

anger that ate

true

takes

it

after day.

that

Perhaps your hate was due

person said or

did.

matter what the hate seemed to be about, looking

deeper into

it

would probably

reveal that the event that in-

spired your hate brought up feelings that separated you from

your connection with true state

self.

You

lost

contact with )'our true

of love of self because of that other person's actions,

thoughts, or feelings.

your true

self,

And because you

you then

lost

connection with

lost the ability to feel a

deep

level ofi

ENLIVENED EMOTION

101

unconditional love and connection to other people, particu-

person you hated.

larly to the

Remember, your most

basic, true state

and connection with

love

all

of inner peace and safety that

someone does something that blocks

your

is

is

your greatest

you are cut off from your greatest well-being

you

unlimited

in

When

treasure.

that stimulates a response within

ability to feel loving connection,

Then not only do you also

be

to

beings. This unity brings a sense

feel

as

it's

vou

though

in a brutal

way

hurt by what the person did, but

suffer the injur\- of losing your connection to true

Losing your natural ability

to love

self.

both

yourself and the person who hurt you is

It is

the greatest loss possible.

very threatening

away your connection

when someone else's actions can

to true self and, therefore,

your basic

sense of well-being and safety in the world. All hate at

the loss of self

is

terror

and the

and outrage

you off from

that love. If

someone your true

seem

brutal

and

and

loving.

There

power

to cut

state

away by what other people say and

of being can be taken

do, indeed, the world will

unsafe.

Often the response positioning for battle

to this threat

— mentally,

is

to

defend yourself by

emotionally ph\sically As

you know, the cultural conditioning of physical that

when you

are threatened,

wars happening track of,

anguish

is

else has the

ability to feel loved

that

take

in the

and some

world

you make at

reality tells

war. There are

you

more

this time than \()u can keep

are taking place within \'our

ow

n

lite.

war does not necessarily mean that \()u attack in an outer way. You ma\' simply carry on a long inner experi Being

at

ence of war, hating people

for

what

the\'

have taken from you. This may manifest believe to be

wrong with them, things

ha\e done-

as a

list

the\'

to

sou or

of things nou

shouldn't ha\e

COMING HOME

102

done, ways they caused you or others pain, defects in their

and so on.

character,

Your that truly really

is,

list

may be very

need

to

I

reflect issues

be worked out. Yet your most basic concern

"What do

of war so

may even

accurate and

I

do about

releasing myself from this stance

can reconnect with

my

How can

true self?

to the unlimited love that connects

me

with

all life?"

Bringing greater inner connection back into your frequent renewal of your intention.

more expanded awareness

to

It

reopen

I

takes

life

means choosing

to

add

a

whatever feelings you are having

moment. Remember that you never have to stop your feelings, even if they seem limiting to you. You simply need to be creative about letting yourself extend beyond the limita-

in the

tions of those feelings.

Hatred can be a very limiting emotion, giving you the sense of being closed off as though there

is

nothing that exists

but that uncomfortable feeling. Your heart feels closed, and

you

are frustrated at not being able to loosen the grip your

hatred has on you.

When you

feel

stuck in the emotion of hating, you can use

the discomfort to remind yourself of your desire to bring greater light into that aspect of your personality.

moment and

for a

choose

to

affirm,

remember my

"Even

in the

You can pause

midst of

this feeling,

I

connection to true self and unlimited

being."

Sometimes the hate

seem

to

be room

for

will

be so powerful that there does not

any other

deal with your anger

feeling.

You may

and hate constructively,

still

need

in practical

terms, yet your affirmation will be laying the energetic cuitry to hold a

more expanded experience

Kven one second of affirmation has regardless of

whether you

effect takes place at a level

feel

it

in the

deeper than

your affirmation sincerely even

a

a

to

cir-

in the future.

powerful

moment. The

feeling.

So

if

effect,

greatest

you repeat

hundred times over

a period,

ENLIVENED EMOTION

103

of days or weeks without feeling the eonnection, there will

be an aeeumulative effeet of

your inner circuitry will

will

all

still

those seconds. At some point

become strong enough

so that you

begin to notice a difference.

Sooner or

later

hating there can

You

ditional love. feel hate.

separate

you

will notice that

be

connection with true

still

will

a

even

midst of

in the

self

and uncon-

begin to stay open to love even

when you

Then hate will no longer limit you; it will no longer you from love and expanded awareness. Hate will no

longer be a dangerous, destructive feeling that must be avoided or denied;

will

it

be

just

another

What

human

genuinely be able to hold more than one at a time.

Do

not undervalue

reality in

For this reason,

it is

a recurring

will

your con-

this ability;

it

expanding the consciousness and opening

secret to

possibilities. this

you

a glorious breakthrough! At that point

sciousness

which

feeling through

and bring transformation.

the light of truth can shine

the

is

to

new

theme throughout

book.

Even

if

you

are feeling angry or sad or frustrated or hateful,

you can also (simultaneously!) unlimited

spirit.

darkness. As

It's

as

though

you continue

feel

your connection with

a ray

of light shines into the

to affirm

your connection with

unlimited being, the ray of light grows. Yet even

if

the darkness

of hate closes your heart and seems bigger than that single ray of

light,

the ray of light has greater

from true

power because

it

comes

self.

When you together, that

is

are able to contain both the light and dark a very enlightening state.

It

means

that

you no

longer have to choose one experience over another. You do not have to choose love or hate, blame or forgiveness, sadness

anger or openheartedness. You are no longer polarized; no particular feeling boxes you in and keeps you from the light or

joy,

of true

self.

You then have access

experiences you came into

to the full

this life to

nmge

embrace.

of

luiiii:in

COMING HOME

104

fm^i Forgiveness

The

self.

for

is

the antidote for hate:

the path back to true

it is

best suggestion for finding forgiveness in your heart

someone you

hate

to find forgiveness for yourself

is

first.

Frequently people do not want to focus on forgiving themselves because they think

means they have

it

something. They think that forgiveness

is

one

who

that

people often need forgiveness even

has done something wrong.

It is

to

admit

guilt for

given only to some-

important to realize

when

they have done

nothing wrong. Rather than seeing forgiveness as excusing

wrong-doing, see

compassion

is

it

someone

for

simply extending compassion where

as

needed. Then

it

becomes

easier to forgive every-

one, yourself included.

Even

if

you, forgiving that tion)

someone else has wronged or hurt person (or coming to peace with the situaif you extend a hand of true compassion to

you believe

may be

easier

yourself first.

"I

that

forgive myself. In the face of everything this per-

son has done or has put sion to myself.

I

me

through,

I

extend loving compas-

forgive myself for the pain

Remember, there

is

Intense pain or anger

is

it

may

can help

it

pain, anger, or hatred

you may have hidden

feelings.

still

be impor-

often accompanied by an auto-

matic sense of guilt, so

about those

felt."

nothing wrong with your pain and

anger, yet forgiving yourself for feeling tant.

and anger I have

to realize that

Because that

guilt or

beneath your

guilt or

shame

shame adds more

may unconsciously avoid the whole set of feelby becoming self-righteous: "Well, they wronged me, so

discomfort, you ings

they deserve to have something bad happen to them." "He

should come and apologize kind of

thiniJ

she did!"

to

me

first." "I

would never do

the •

ENLIVENED EMOTION

105

Whenever you are at war with someone else, you are always

war

at

The deep

guilt

with yourself

,

about your feelings

too.

is

your war against

When you are self-righteous with someone else to own guilt or shame, you are fighting yourself

yourself.

avoid feeling your as

much

you

as

are fighting the other person.

You have prob-

ably already discovered that such a dual battle

consuming and

self-destructive

In the midst of this

emotion,

how do you

becomes

all-

— a war you can never win.

complex web of intense and

create healing so that

difficult

you can move on?

Simply forgiving yourself cuts through everything and returns

you

to a state

of empowerment and simplicity.

for feeling hurt.

I

forgive myself for anger

and

myself for separating from the true heart of Or,

because forgiving

compassion in the

for

is

more comfortable with

feel

my

my

anger or hatred.

I

compassion, you may give myself

"I

give myself compassion

give myself compassion

I

have been wronged or

the ordeal has been,

my

being

said."

Truly giving yourself compassion

how you

forgive

I

being."

having been separated so easily from the truth of

by what someone else did or

for

hatred.

different wording:

midst of this pain.

in the

midst of

to give forth

forgive myself

"1

— not self-righteousness how

self-pity for

terrible

but genuine, glowing compassion-

softens everything. With that softening, your battle armor begins to melt; your

war stance becomes

because

less rigid

\()u

are gaining a truer power. As you continue feeling compassion for yourself in the midst of your human difficulties, the war stance will soften even more. It will happen genth and nam rally as

So

you are ready it is

a

tion of war, a

and

1

give

to

move

into

your greater strength.

matter of extending, from the midst of

hand of compassion

compassion

to

myself

in

to self. "Yes,

the midst of

I

sec-

it.

I

that posi

the pain,

rcnunilH

r

,

COMING HOME

106

even though

that to

it

may

be reconnected to

impossible

feel

my

reclaim the love that streams through

with

all

at this

moment,

unlimited love of

my

self.

I

want

want

I

being and unites

to

me

other beings in peace and truth."

Keep

in

mind

that

all

current experiences of hate carry a

hidden registry of previous, formative experiences when you forced into similarly devastating separation from

felt

never experience hate that carries the

is

truly only of the

memory and burden

self.

moment.

of unresolved outrage

You

All hate at

hav-

ing lost your connection to true self in the past. So, a current conflict that brings

you

to

unbearable rage or hatred

may be an

excellent opportunity to begin deeper healing of your past.

When you find yourself automatically in a war stance from which you you

hate,

feel

unable to release either yourself or the person

pay close attention. You may notice

that

your feelings

of hate seem to go beyond the current situation, trailing into

your past so deeply that you no longer have clear images or

memories

to

go with the

feelings.

As you extend compassion

to

yourself and your armor softens, earlier experiences of being

separated from true self

Perhaps even your

may come forward

initial

to

be recognized.

experience of separation from true

self will reveal itself for healing.

Remember that your hate need not close you down; it can remind you of compassion and give you the opportunity to clear some powerful feelings. Your way through the unbearable pain of hating that,

more than anything, you want

to unlimited being.

You want true

to regain

self even

how wrong,

to

know

your connection

more than you want

revenge, even more than you want your "enemies" see

is

to finally

bad, or flawed they have been. Your desire for

reconnection with the unlimited

love, peace,

and

divinity that

ENLIVENED EMOTION

you

107

becomes most important. This alignment of pribrings you to a position of power; your energies are

truly arc

orities

directed with true purpose.

You may find

enough

your energy system

that

not quite strong

is

to hold that set of aligned priorities for very long at a

The more you repeat the experience of choosing true self, the more your energy system adjusts and strengthens itself. Then it becomes easier to maintain the expetime. That's all right.

rience for longer periods.

Understand

that

if

you have

lived

twenty or

years with a habit of going into war posture

threatened, your energy pattern

your being at war.

It

may

take

is

thirty or fifty

when you

are

well-developed to support

some time

to restructure itself to the pattern of

for

your energy system

compassion and

forgive-

period of transition, which could be days, weeks,

ness. In that

months, or even years, be patient with yourself. The time takes your system to restructure will ultimately enable

you

it

to

hold the experience of true self and unlimited being more continuously in your daily

life.

Be aware that your ego may periodically object focus

on forgiveness and reconnection with

which has been conditioned

may

still

insist

true

and so on. There

being heard. But you is

ego,

to self-righteousness or self-pity,

is

no

not

in

made

to apolo-

need to silence your ego;

expression of your personality and

greatest skill

The

that other people be made to see what they

did wrong, or be punished, or be shamed, or be gize,

self.

to this

may want

to

bringing you

is,

it

is

therefore, worth}

remember

home

that

an of

your ego's

to greater truth

and

inner connection.

Because of the various psychological and spiritual usages ol the term "ego," you may tend to think of your ego as a i)r()hleni, a self-centeredness, or, at best, something you nuist overcome if

you want

ego

in that

to attain spiritual enlightenment.

way Forour purposes, ego

is

I

do not

simply the part

rc«er to ot

your

.

COMING HOME

108

mind

that

adapted long ago to losing your connection to true

became your personality's leader in that state of loss and has been responsible for your survival in limited reality.

self. It

Everything your ego thinks and perceives

is

in the

of separation and limitation. To your ego, true self Therefore, desires and actions that fully take into ble,

tell

you

world without your connection

how

self in the

your true

come from your ego never

is

to operate in a limited

to true self;

a

powerful

it

cannot show you

the way. Forgiving yourinvitation.

begins primarily in your relation-

Empowering

heart frees you of injuries

you. As you receive your

how

show you

see, forgiveness

ship with yourself.

own

self to

midst of hate

So you

real.

you must extend beyond your ego

to reconnect. For that

invite

context

not

account that unity and unlimited love are possi-

hi short, your ego can

and

is

own

yourself with the gifts of your it

seems others have brought

forgiveness or compassion, for-

giving others happens naturally as a side effect of healing yourself.

Forgiveness

1

Close your eyes, and breathe easily and breathe,

let

each breath

fill

you with

fully.

or sense of love. Enjoy the love, and allow

within you. 2.

When you

.

.

are

ready think of someone

forward and facing you

how

it

to

grow

.

have difficulty forgiving, hnaginc

feel

As you

a feeling, image,

this

whom

person coming

at a safe distance. Let

uncomfortable

it

is

for

you

you

to

yourself

hold feelings

of blame, hale, frustration, or resentment toward the person.

.

.

.

ENLIVENED EMOTION

3.

As you face

change

it is

the following

the situation: breathe love into yourself

in

again. This love

son;

make only

this person,

109

love, the feeling

not necessarily for the other per-

is

You

for you.

are being filled with the light of

of love, the thought of

love.

.

.

Each

.

breath gives you more love for yourself, even as you

remain 4.

From

in the

this

presence of the other person.

alignment with

the following:

like

myself right now." its light." "I I

5.

"1

love, think or

give love and compassion to

allow

"I

my

forgive myself for

allow myself to be healed by

Feci the

true self to

my

fill

me

with

pain and suffering.

love."

meaning of your words

them or think

speak words

take effect as

you say

theni. Stay with the feeling of love,

com-

passion, forgiveness, or healing for as long as you like.

6.

.

Now

.

.

let

the other person fade, disappear, or walk out

of your image.

.

.

.

When you are ready to come out of

meditation, your compassion for yourself comes with

you

into the w^orld. As

you open your

eyes, the love

and

healing remain; they are truly within you now.

Your exploration of love anger's door.

No

matter

will

at

sotiie

how many

point firing xou lo

technicjuc-s

xou

lc-;irn

lor

I

»

loving yourself

and

others, sooner

or later >()u

musi make-

COMING HOME

110

your peace with anger. Your challenge

way of receiving

the glorious light of

is

to learn to find

life

even

your

when you

are

angry.

There give

is

nothing wrong with being angry. Your anger can

you important feedback about the events around you and

when

it is

anger

is

important to do something about them. But because

usually expressed in distorted and destructive ways,

and because anger often

activates the personality at the exclu-

sion of the unconditionally loving

anger

is

self,

many people

feel that

not a "spiritual" experience.

Understand can have.

Spirit

that spirit is

is

in

every thought and feeling you

your body and every aspect

in every cell of

of your personality. You can never be truly separate from

because you are spiritual

spirit. So,

and serves

spirit

every experience, including anger,

is

a high purpose.

At the personality level,

it is

important for you to deal with

the specific issues that trigger your anger. Sometimes this will

mean standing up for yourself in a conflict or a threatening situOther times you may need to assess whether your anger

ation.

j

is

reallv related to the situation that triggered

terning that

how

response to someone wise and

else's),

by

or

is

old pat-

i

you have trouble knowing

|

with your anger (or with your

|

no longer serves you.

to take appropriate action

it

If

all

means

get assistance from a

i

reliable source. There are excellent books as well as |

skilled therapists available to help

you grow

into a healthy rela{

tionship with anger.

long

ritual

serve you

It is

worth pursuing and

is

part of the

of honoring and clearing your personality so

it

life-

can j

on your path of growth. j

For now, well as

its

let's

leave the psychological aspects of anger as

i

appropriate expression. (These need to be explored |

in

circumstances that give you the ongoing support you need.) j

Instead, let's focus

you can open

on the energetic aspect of anger and how

to the vitality

it

carries.

j

ENLIVENED EMOTION

There

vitality within all

is

emotion;

this vitality is the birthright

being

When you you

anger,

who comes

it

life

within your

vitality

easier to allow yourself to have every-

thing else that you truly want in ing the

of every

into physical form.

allow yourself to have the

will find

111

life. It all

eomes down to allow-

force to flow through you.

Because

vitality

is

the basic energy flow of

connects you to physical

reality, literally

what

life, it is

giving you

life

and

enabling you to be present and active in the physical world.

Holding back or stopping your

Why would

crous!

you want

would be

vitality

to stop the

foolish, ludi-

flow of energy that

keeps you alive and sustains your very existence form? Yet, denied.

If

when your you do not

life-affirming way, ically

it

anger

let

is

denied, your vitality

your anger through

mean

and

states

to

is

also

open,

embrace.

that to allow yourself vitality

always be angry. Vitality feelings

in a clean,

works against you, separating you energet-

from the world you came here

This does not

in physical

is

experienced

you must

in a full range of other

of being as well. You have a wide repertoire!

But by denying or withholding your anger you deny yourself a basic

connection with If anger

life.

seems negative

you, you are

to

probably thinking of distorted anger Understand that anger sarily violent.

is

not always rage and

not neces-

Anger need not be misdirected or pent up or

charged in emotional attack. Pure anger a

is

conduit for energy;

it

flushes the

life

is

dis-

a feeling that eremites

force through your sys-

can be as powerful as the force of love or joy in oju-ning your heart and healing your body Pure anger connects people tem.

It

rather than separates them,

communicates

rather than destroNs.

COMING HOME

112

Why, then,

anger so often experienced as negative and

is

We live in a culture where the ego is separated from

destructive?

on

true self and relies heavily

prevailing pattern

is

to feel

the ability to be "in control."

emotions only

The

we can

to the extent

remain in control of them. This need for control prevents us from

making peace with emotions Because life

power of life tions,

convey

force,

which we cannot

as anger, that are natural

a culture

we

need

and allow

its

is

So the

perceived as a

conductors of raw, uncon-

and generally

Because we have been taught it

control,

are.

we may have established in life. Emo-

whatever control

such

than honor

that

force powerfully.

we are unaware that we are truly one with life force,

trolled life force are feared

As

life

seems separate from us and bigger than we

force

threat to

that

flow,

it

are not well

our anger rather

to distrust

frequently

managed.

becomes

distorted.

we have worked so hard at controlling this emotion

often mistake even the faintest feeling of anger for the

for greater control.

Expressing our anger, then, can easily

turn into a battle to control others or to keep from being controlled

by them.

For example, you

may have learned

to fling

your anger

at

others in an attempt to control them, the situation, or your vulnerability instead of allowing anger to

show you how

healing

can take place. Or perhaps you keep your anger completely bottled

up

to

ensure you don't use

it

destructively.

When you resist

or disallow anger, that energy doesn't go away. Because

go somewhere, expression. is

It's

it is

it

must

often rerouted into a less clear and less direct

quite likely that the energy of

disowned anger

unconsciously turned inward and used against yourself.

You may have unknowingly adopted such emotional pattern early

in

life.

Perhaps

in

a self-destructive

your family no one

you learned not may have been acceptable, how-

tolerated being the recipient of your anger, so to express

ever, for

it

directly to others.

you

to turn

It

your anger against yourself through

criticism or self-hatred.

self-

You may even have gotten the message

ENLIVENED EMOTION

you were angry

i13

someone, you aetually deserved to have something bad happen to you beeause of it. This conditioning that

if

at

could have set the pattern back to you

for the

energy of your anger

to

Considering the narrow range of options the culture it is

come

in destructive ways. offers,

you may resist your anger as well as the anger The irony is that in the fight to maintain control, you

natural that

of others.

have forgotten anger's real purpose! You have forgotten that anger is

an energy of communication and connection rather than of

alienation

and opposition. You have forgotten

that

powerful feeling that triggers your energy system fully to life force.

of life force as

it

to the

flow

streams through your body and connects you life is all

than "winning" any

about and

is,

therefore,

more impor-

battle.

As you develop

the ability to receive

the pure, vital energy in anger, to

a

is

open more

to

You have forgotten that being open

with true self is what tant

anger

a powerful new healing

As the energy of creation,

found healing energy there

vital life

is.

So

in

you open

source.

force

its

is

the most pro-

pure form, anger

a

is

healing energy rather than a destructive one. Because few people have learned to be anger,

few people

and accepting of undistoried the tremendous healing power

open

realize

to

it

carries.

Exploring clear focus

this

element of anger requires

and pay

attention.

You need

a

that

you

'nokl a

strong, conscious

commitment to self to stay present and follow through on the progression of feelings and experiences that will emerge. As you open

to the

pure

life vitality in

anger, you will find yourscll

beginning to open to pure experience well. Vitality links

you

to true self,

nection are always far-reaching.

at

many

and the

oilier lexcls as

effects of hat i

con

COMING HOME

114

A primary step in opening to the vitality of anger is to notice that when you're angry, you have tremendous energy at your disposal and you have choice about how you direct You can use that energy to dam yourself up inside, deaden it.

yourself, hold yourself back, think abusive thoughts about

yourself,

or send

out toward other people in similarly

it

you can receive the

destructive ways. Or,

comes with

of vitality that

gift

emotion and be enlivened by

that

then nourishes you, enriching your

life

That

it.

vitality

and your relationships

with other people.

Anger

is

an emotion and

a physiological

response in the

body. Whether you use the emotion in a destructive life-affirming

which

way

in turn

directly affects the chemistry of

way

or a

your body,

enhances or diminishes your physical, mental,

emotional, and energetic well-being. Your choice in interpreting and directing the energy of anger difference. If this choice

is

not

made

is

what makes

consciously,

it

all

the

happens

unconsciously from your long held patterns of habit. Whichever

way

it

occurs, your choice determines whether

into increased experience of vibrant

Underneath anger

life

is

you move

or into depletion.

usually

a feeling of helplessness. Even

if

you

are not consciously in touch with

it,

that help-

may cause you to overlook the true power you always have in anger: the power to choose life. You are probably not trained to recognize such power. Few parents say to their angry lessness

children, "You are angry.

notice this

power if

a

it

have.

in a life-affirming way.

good way?

you did not get

to give

a strong feeling,

how much power you

would be But

It's

to yourself.

Talk to

this

and

You have

How

me about

support from

a

I

want you

to

choice to use

can you do that? What it,

and

I

will help you."

a parent,

you can

learn ,

ENLIVENED EMOTION

When you breaths to

led angry, stop briefly and take

beeome

that, in spite

a

few deep

present with yourself. Consciously notice

of any distressing emotion that may be circulating

through your system, you are

power of

115

point of power. You have the

at a

choice.

As you focus on

thought, you may discover some resispower when you are angry. Your habituanger may seem to have a life of its own and this

tance to claiming your ated reaction to

may be

difficult to stop,

and uncomfortable

as

it

even

may

for just a

be,

moment. As impractical

unconsciously you may also be

attached to the familiarity of your old pattern. Watch for your resistance.

want

to

tern, or

It is

natural. Notice

go with the

do

a point of

want to make power here?" I

Of course, tion that

is

the

power

and then ask

a

is

change and remember

is

that

I

not power over the person or

how much

carry in your body. That

yourself,

far

"Do

and keep the old

the focus for your upset feelings.

being able to choose

you are

it

resistance this time

It is

affirmation of

I

pat-

am

at

situa-

the

power of

life

yc^u will

more important than any

issue

be angry about.

likely to

Because the cultural patterning to

of anger is so strong, it is easy get stuck arguing the issues and trying to

gain or maintain

control.

Imagine, for example, that you are in an argument with

someone and your temper

flares.

You

your old pattern of using your anger

are tempted to

fall

into

to intimidate, belittle, or

win the argument and, there avoid the feeling of being defeated yourself. Or perhaps

find fault with your adversary to fore,

your tendency

is

to

pretend you are not angry

make the other person

feel guilty

so they will

to sulk, or to

retreat. In these-

COMING HOME

116

cases, the

pure energy of your anger

you have this

is

literally

which compromised state,

misdirected,

is

short circuits your flow of vitality In this

forgotten your source of true well-being, and

an argument

a very real loss to you. Is gaining control in

worth the cost of diminished Learning to give anger

vitality to

your

own

system?

natural, direct expression,

its

which

includes giving up control over others, allows the pure vitality

of anger to stream through

and

all

revitalizing every cell of

definition of "winning"

levels of

your being, nourishing

your body This

in itself

an argument. For example,

in

other person's opinion or decision prevails

is

if

one the

at a practical level,

you can have the personal victory of walking away with vibrant life

that

not dependent on the outcome of the argument.

is

mean

This certainly does not either/or choice

effectiveness.

between

that

you must always make an

inner, personal victory

You need not

retreat or

maintain your energetic integrity. In

be passive fact,

staying

force can increase your ability to be centered

and outer

in a conflict to

open

to life

and empowered

within yourself, to hold your ground, and to communicate

with the strength or passion you truly

What you may need some new

however,

to do,

misdirection of anger as

feel. is

start

noticing your

happens and then give yourself

it

options. Learning

new

techniques for healthy con-

tainment and expression of anger can help tremendously. Also,

choosing

what

it

vitality

often in your

feels like in a variety

nizable base of well-being,

become angry. The bottom

line

is

life

and becoming

familiar with

of situations can establish a recog-

which you can return

that

to

when you

sometimes your expression of

anger will get you the outer results you want and sometimes will not. Yet,

all

it

experience has one basic purpose.- to bathe

you with unlimited

life.

When you

ing yourself by being fully

open

accept this truth,

revitaliz-

to receiving life force

becomes

your highest priority You can then choose your response

in

ENLIVENED EMOTION

117

every situation based on what would enhance your flow of true vitality and well-being rather than diminish it.

As you

live

with

this clear, aligned intention,

other peo-

ways of dealing with anger may become less relevant as models for your own behavior. You are unplugging from the ple's

consciousness about anger. While the cultural include the unconscious assumption that anger

culturally held beliefs

still

equals an inner loss or death, you are beginning to use anger as a vehicle for vibrant

At the

life.

moment when

own

they are at their

point of power, most people have no idea of the magnificent choice they

face.

Given conscious choice, most people would choose increased vibrancy; yet relatively few actually realize that their

anger can take them to such an experience. Without

a greater

awareness, cultural habit prevails and people tend to

let

anger

down their flow of vibrant life force. The body and energy system know the difference between being life enhanced or life shut

deprived; even subtle restriction of the as

movement toward deadness. To

most people automatically react their survival. Ironically,

true threat.

own

in its

a

your

life;

is

anger as

this

though

resistance.

If

deep breath, and then

it is

it

down

down,

threatens that

is

the

dynamic, people respond

this cultural pattern

again

recognized

the degree they shut

as well as other people's, with

Unplugging from display

to

force

the act of shutting

Without understanding

to anger, their

change

it is

life

means

fear.

a

profound

natural that your personality ma\

that happens,

it

may help

to stop, lake

briefly lend a compassionate ear to the

Hear what the voice of resistance has to sa\', and lake it. Write a few words, perhaps even two or liiree sen

resistance.

notes for

tences, to capture the message. This allows the resisiaiHc to

expressed and then released onto paper

be-

COMING HOME

118

If

the resistance returns, gently repeat the procedure as

needed. Important information about your inner process and

your personality's needs may be revealed

redirecting

its

flow.

keeping you stuck.

It

pass through, leaving

Remember,

in this way.

resistance,

no longer operates

It is

you

to

and releasing the

expressing, hearing,

in a

you

closed

By are

circuit,

being trained to inform you and then

you

make new choices. empowering change comes from

free to

resistance to

the element of personality that does not yet

have more fulfillment than you have had

from habit and limitation and

tries to

know you can

in the past.

It

operates

protect you.

As a creation of your own unlimited spirit, your personality is worthy of being loved and honored; you just don't have to believe it as you once did. Honor your

personality by hearing

its

concerns; then take

another deep breath and go back to your point of power. Feel

your anger and consider your choice consciously. powerful energy moving through me.

I

"I

can choose to

feel a let

it

or shut

me down.

Vitality or deadness. Vibrant life

or slow depletion.

Which do

I

enliven

me

choose?"

When you are at this point of considering aliveness or deplemay sometimes feel impossible to choose life. The old conmay still seem too strong. Your inner self-critic may interpret this as a sign of personal failure on your part. It may say that you arc a weak person, that you are not enlightened tion,

it

ditioning

enough, that you do not deserve equally deflating.

The content of these

not true and does not matter anywa\; evaluating your

about are

self- worth is

when you

are

good, or something

to feel

critical

What

is

messages

more

is

usually

helpful than

simply being honest with yourself

choosing the

vitality

choosing nonlife. Honest observation

of

life

is all

and when you that

is

needed.,

ENLIVENED EMOTION

When you choose You

choice.

accept yourself. In

fact,

you are not making

nonlife,

are simply doing

119

what you

you can

are doing.

a

You can

bad still

full-heartedly love your-

still

even though you may wish you could have made a different choice. Noticing with conscious awareness which choice self,

you are making while giving yourself acceptance, support, and

moment

is

in itself significant

The good news

is

that

love in that

you are

empowerment.

right regardless of the

all

choice you make. There are no good choices or bad choices in life.

There are ones

ence of

vital life

you

into greater direct experi-

and choices

that diminish that experi-

that bring

force

is no good and bad. All the choices you make done with unlimited blessing from unlimited beings. And

ence, but there are

in all

those choices, absolute love

when you There

is

nothing wrong with you vitality

In fact, giving yourself acceptance

nourishes your system and lays to

make

a

more

and love

new

a

in that situation

circuitry that will enable

you catch yourself being unable

If

to

in a new, life-affirming way, then breathe,

your anger

remember the love for

when you make

through your being.

life-affirming decision the next time, or

the next, or the next. direct

moment

in the

take your action.

choice that restricts the flow of

you

who you

the core of

is still

what you experience

truly are, regardless of

that

being an excellent

you

are,

and pat yourself on the back

human being who

is

pursuing the

exploration of limitation. If

you strongly believe

difficult to

that

that anger

allow yourself to open to

anger carries

vital

it,

healing force.

is

destructive,

of being overwhelmed, or have reason

terns of response to anger, or

may be

even though you know

Be very

patient, gentle,

and loving with yourself and take the process slowly at risk

it

to fear

need new input

to

It

you arc

your pat develop

healthy expressions for this powerful emotion, support >()ur self

by getting qualified outside

help.

.

COMING HOME

120

Anger able v/hen

is

not always comfortable, but

it is

allowed

rather than resisted as

gerous. Anger ers. It

to

is

to

though

dangerous

if

far

it is

move through

more comfort-

as the vitality

of

life

something negative or dan-

it is

you use

it

against yourself or oth-

can be healing for yourself and others

when

it is

allowed

flow through freely and naturally.

When you

can allow yourself

does not close you off

you

to the

very

to yourself or others, but instead

force that feeds

life

you

are

opening

ent in your physical spirit into physical

to true self

body You

opens

and nurtures you, you

not fear anger so much. In opening to the anger,

anger in a way that

to feel

vitality

while becoming more pres-

are bringing the truth of

experience, which

is

your

the essential purpose

of your journey into form.

Staying

You

New

are setting

new

Aware

patterns,

experience has to be

Anger

in

which require

real to the

repetition.

body before the

automatic emotional responses can genuinely change.

During the time of repatterning, staying conscious and witnessing your choices will help.

When

you can go through the following

steps:

1

Feci the vibrant

anger surfaces,

energy

2.

Recognize that you arc

at a

3.

Notice that you have

choice to enhance or

your flow of 4.

Become

clear

life

a

point of power. restrict

force.

on what action

will best

support your

well-being.

you

will

of life within

take whatever action

5.

Stay aware as

6.

Give yourself acceptance and notice

you choose.

how

it

feels.

.

ENLIVENED EMOTION

121

Healing Through Anger

The following meditation ean

give you praetiee in shift-

ing your patterns of energetie response to anger.

experiment with

it

in small

minutes every few days or weeks.

fifteen

You can

increments of perhaps five to

choose times when you are not

It's

best to

overwhelming

lost in

anger to begin with so that you have some range within

which

to

maneuver. Don't move so

lose natural control. You'll self in

one

to

anger that you

be able

to

guide your-

and out of the anger gently Consider having some-

else

with you to support or guide you

comfortable doing (Note: that

want

far into

it

yourself.

while doing

If

until you're

this visualization

you sense

your feelings of anger may become too uncomfort-

able or intense, simply stop.

Open your

eyes, breathe

gently and easily for a few moments, and bathe yourself

Give yourself compassion

in love.

as

you were ready

push 1

to go.

having gone

for

Honor your

limits

Begin by imagining

make one

a situation

when you were

feel

you may

moments

to let the

up. Give yourself a few

some of the anger— not enough

but just enough to remember

how

Also imagine that your purpose situation that else's

mind

angry.

a real-life situation, or

situation form in your imagination.

is

makes you angry or

to

.

.

.

Let yourself

overwhelm you,

anger

feels.

.

.

.

not lo change the (o

change anyone

or actions. Instead, your purpose issinipK

to allow the vitality of

life

to

flow through your hodv

and your energy system along with is

and do not

yourself.)

You may remember

2.

as far

(he aiigc

the main experience, and the anger

is

r.

\italii\ |usi

ihe

.

COMING HOME

122

medium

for

3

You can

Gently allow your energy system to

it.

open more so

through you.

that vitality streams

feel the anger, yet

you don't have

You don't have

action or words.

to

put

.

.

.

into

it

You don't

to fight.

have to convince or interact with anyone. You are simply in that situation to experience the positive flow of

anger

vitality that 4.

There

is

carries.

.

.

.

plenty of space for the

wisdom of

natural

nourishes every

its

own. As

cell in

our body.

It

has a

life force,

flows,

it

move

to

vitality

through your system. This energy, or

it

feeds and

brings

and

life

radiance into your being. Absorb and accept this healing force. 5.

.

.

.

Now imagine that the angry situation you were facing disappears into

anger, conflict, or discomfort, leaving

you

you

radiant vitality

feel familiar

with

and well-being. this

meditation and are

comfortable guiding yourself through to allow yourself to

it,

open consciously

the next step to this

while you are really in a situation of anger.

done

in a

The

it.

resi-

washed with After

disappears with

long enough to cleanse you of any

light lingers

due of

light. All stress

minute or two

It

process

can

be

all

— or even in a few seconds,

moment,

is

if

take a

few deep breaths,

and with those breaths gently open

to the vitality in

necessary. Pause for a

anger. ral as

Allow the flow through your system

possible.

Give the

vitality

self feel this positive life force

and going

to

be

as natu-

plenty of room. Let your-

moving through your body

directly into your tissues.

Know

experiencing a healing energy that can constructively deal with the situation.

that

you

are

show you how

to

The Embodiment

of Spirit

5^

M^ U^c fence

Sc^^UaaI Si^>>CA^

Sexual energy conneets us to physical reality in

much

way

our grounding

secure

a trees roots

to the earth.

it

It

is

the

same

Through our sexual energy we embrace the earth and, at same time, receive nourishing earth energy that cannot be

force.

the

received in any other way. So, just as a very

would never choose

to sever

roots,

its

and ancient

tall

we would

from stopping our flow of sexual energy. Sexual energy allowed

its

natural flow

and

is

you from

spirit into physical form.

the time of your

ability to ical

is

The

is

who

Air, as

of

life

it.

A cloud

unformed it.

as

This

in physical

it

is

is

level.

Your

you bring with

spirit

has a certain

into

harmony

is

your

this vitalit>

vitality

of life. Your

through your phys-

alive in physical form.

can be it.

comes

physical-level consciousness

earth. That

are sensitive to

ing through

being

on

what keeps you

vitality

ing through it.

life

is

specifically yours. As your spirit

continuously channel

being

those

every

into physical form, that vibration

with the range of vibration that at

at

sexuality as vitality that

range of vibration that

comes

that

directed in a life-enhancing man-

ner always strengthens our systems

You can think of

tree

never benefit

A

felt,

seen,

and experienced

tree has the vitality of

has the vitality of

life

seems to be, has the

life

b\'

flow-

flowing through

vitality

of life flow-

an energy that every thing and every

form have

in

common.

The ultimate purpose of sexual euerxv is to

unite spirit with physical form.

Sexual energy functions primarily (o bring you intiiiKKv

with physical cally

reality

and

to give

your

embrace the physical world. One

125

spirit a wa\' lo cnergeii

vehicle for (his spinin.il

,

COMING HOME

126

purpose

is

sexual interaction between people.

possible to interact

on

body

three levels: physical

body, energy system to energy system, and

Through sex

it is

to physical

spirit to spirit.

Western culture puts tremendous focus on physical sexual interaction, but

your

spirit's

it

does not teach about the need

connection with physical

on the physical

reality.

to

This over-focus

the expense of the energetic

at

experience

and

spiritual

many people's sexual dilemma may be to over-

gives an incompleteness or imbalance to

experiences. Their response to

this

compensate through physical sexuality

for their

unconscious and unmet)

the energetic and spiri-

connect

to

at

need (which

is

tual levels.

In such cases people

may have an urgency or addictiveness

about physical sexual interaction. At a subconscious or unconscious level there will be an unease, perhaps even a panic,

when is

there

not regular sexual

not a vehicle, but

physical is

is

For

them

physical sex

instead a substitute, for linking spirit with

Their spiritual relationship with physical form

reality.

tenuous and

is

Without sexual less

is

activity.

threatened

when

sex becomes unavailable.

activity their sense of self

becomes

less "real,"

grounded, more uncomfortable. Sexuality

is

a

conduit for the

cused and powerful way. As ings, restricting the vitality

is

vitality

the case with

flow of sexual energy

and the connection

of

life all

in a very fo-

powerful

restricts the

feel-

flow of

to physical reality. Ironically, along

with the culture's overfocus on physical sex, there

also

is

strong conditioning to squelch or distort sexual energy and, therefore, vitality. People tible to that

to

who

have been particularly suscep-

conditioning are living

in

pain

at a

very deep

level.

Numerous influences may have caused you to close off your sexuality. Many beliefs based on morality or religion not appropriate and must be with-

say that sexual activity

is

held or

This

at least limited.

sexuality at

all

levels

is

often interpreted to

must automatically be denied,

mean

that

distorted,

SEXUALITY

or withheld. Yet,

it

127

possible to restrict sexual activity without

is

restricting sexual erwriiy.

With

a clear focus of awareness, the

energy can flow uninipeded regardless of whether you choose to act on it. (Understand that sexual energy refers to an energy

which

more subtle than a feeling. Sexual technically not the same thing as sexual feelings,

or vibration,

energy

is

although

is

far

may be through your

it

most aware of

sexual feelings that you are

this energy.)

Many people coming

into spiritual

awakening experience

sexuality as a distraction from spiritual growth. that

anyone serious about

make ity,

true progress. Spirituality

Some

growth must be

spiritual

and sexuality

are held as a dual-

presenting an either/or conflict: you can have spirituality or

sexuality, but not the

look

Let's

at

two

together.

moment.

duality for a

because they deny

are limiting

Either/or

assumptions

all-inclusive experiences.

exclude anything but the two polarized sides of the exclusion makes perspective to

Does ber, there all

insist

celibate to

come

cause

it

taking

on

this

it

difficult for altogether

make mean

its

way

They Such

information or

into dualistic reality.

that duality

is

nothing inferior about

is

new

issue.

wrong? Not

at all.

limitation. In fact,

Rememwe have

into physical form to explore duality piccisely beis

so limiting. As part of our greater investigation,

and judgment

dualistic perception

is

a perfect

way

to

study limitation firsthand.

Some people seem reality

only

in

terms

experiences that

to

go through

their lives joerceiv ing

of limitation, shutting out

may broaden

their awareness.

can be frustrating to be around those people

if

all

ideas or

Hven though

it

we want them

may be profoundly product i\e in ways that we or even they— do not consciously recogni/e. Such an orientation to limitation may allow those people to

be different, their

lives

—

to

hold a strong, unwavering focus on

experience, enabling them to

move

a specific

into

it

far

stratum ol

more decpb

lik.iiul

COMING HOME

128

thoroughly than would be possibilities.

It is

likely

if

they were open to other

form of specialization. By using limitation

a

(and specifically, perhaps, duality) to keep their focus, they are able to

do

intense, precision

in the exploration

of physi-

consciousness.

cal

Now, regarding tual value flict, it.

work

sexuality.

There

of celibacy that does not

is

also a belief in the spiri-

come from

but naturally emerges as an individual

The

catalyst for

such celibacy may be

a

is

dualistic con-

ready to explore

profound

spiritual

experience or exposure to a specific spiritual teaching. Or,

may simply begin with an

inner

knowing

that

comes

it

in the

progression of awakening for that person's consciousness. So,

it's

who

clear there are people

have chosen, for any

number of reasons, to abstain from sexual activity for the purof spirituality. And there are people who have chosen to

suit

pursue sexual activity along with

spiritual

Both

learning.

choices have a place in spiritual growth and can be used as a vehicle for transformation. Neither choice

than the other.

What

matters most

you and

is

genuinely right

for

with both

and physical form.

For those

spirit

be

by

itself better

making the choice

that nourishes

that

and

spiritualit\'.

a distraction

from

it

to be), let's explore the

blending of

As you may have found, sexuality can

spiritual

awareness simply because of the

powerful physical sensations that go along with sexual ings.

is

your connection

who do allow sexual activity to be a part of their daily

living (or at least intend

sexuality

is

There

is

nothing wrong with forgetting

feel-

spirituality by,

SEXUALITY

being distracted into sexuality. But

if

you intend

129

to use sexual-

even more deeply and completely with the spirit of self and others, you may want to experiment with the following ity to align

of awareness.

shift

Vitality

which

body well.

is

flows through the circuitry of your energy system,

very closely aligned with your physical body As your

physical stimulated, the energy system

is

This energy connects your

spirit

is

stimulated as

physical reality

to

through your body. Not only does sexual feeling awaken your body, but it also stimulates the energy system and spirit to vibrate with

life.

While you are engaged in sexual feelings it is

to

possible to expand your awareness

include not only physical sensations

but also energy vibration

and presence The following four

steps

of spirit.

may help you

focus on a pro-

gressive transtion for this expansion of awareness. The\' are

intended to be done while making

do them without

sible to

love,

although

it

physical contact that

is

also pos-

is

sexually

stimulating. (Indeed, these steps are a form of lovemaking in

themselves, with or without physical sex.)

If

you do follow

these steps during physical lovemaking, you may find Nour

focus sometimes being stretched to hold physical, energetic,

and

spiritual

tant part

for

it.

awareness

all at

once. That stretch

is

an impor-

of your growth, so give yourself the time you lued

You may want

to

have an agreed-upon signal

thai

or your partner can use whenever one of you needs or slow

down

the physical activity

in

nou

to jxtusc

order to reatiune your

inner focus. It is

quite

all

right

in the first session!

if

you do not

fully

complete

Sensing energy during sex

is

in

all

lour steps

nsella huge

COMING HOME

130

Do

leap for most people.

not worry

if

you find yourself need-

Many people spend their techniques. Remember that

ing several sessions for each step.

whole this

lives

growth

working with these

progressive and will have

is

when you work

time. Also,

ness, the feedback

its

greatest effects over

with such subtle levels of aware-

not always definite; you

is

may

often be

doing better than you know. Be patient and loving with yourself

and your

and enjoy the process.

partner,

Awareness

Spiritual

in

Lovemalontinue to sense the yearning as

it

is.

.

.

.

Now

also

sense the Not Knowing, as though you are silently invitmg it to present itself, too. .

4.

Not Knowing may appear

nothing

as

sense of anything. sents 5.

itself.

.

.

to

it

something

no image or in

.

feeling or

.

.

.

spend time

to

t(3

toe.

to

.

are ready to

from head

open your

pre-

it

Breathe gently and easily into

.

come out of meditation,

your awareness to your whole body, noticing feels

may

and Not Knowing, allowing yourself

trust their presence.

When you

empty It

whatever way

Allow the yearning and Not Knowing

the yearning

else.

.

with you together.

6.

at all:

Open

.

as a blank screen, an

hole, a beautiful light, or as

even come

.

.

.

.

Then slowly

turn

how

stretch,

it

and

eyes.

3^ Eii^fcM/Cvih^ Sows. Sjl