Coming Home: The Return to True Self (Updated Edition) [Updated] 1450588603, 9781450588607

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WITH

NEW

UPDATES

COMING HOME The Return to True

Self

MARTIA NELSON "This book offers deep insight into the pure potentialitywithin all of us. From this level, anything can be accomplished, and all desires can

come

true."

DEEPAK CHOPRA

"The clearest, most powerful explanation of the universe and how it SHAKTI GAWAIN works that I have ever read. It's brilliant."

COMING HOME 9 The Return to True

Martia Nelson

Self

COMING HOME: The Return to True Self © 2010 Martia Nelson

Cover

art

© 2000 Martia Nelson

Previous versions of this book were originally published in 1993

and 1995 by Nataraj Publishing,

a division of

New World Library. All rights reserved. This

book may not be reproduced

in

whole or

written permission from the author, except by a reviewer passages in a review; nor

may any

retrieval system, or transmitted in

part of this

in part

who may

without

quote brief

book be reproduced, stored

in a

any form or by any means electronic, mechanical,

photocopying, recording, or other, without written permission from the author.

The author

of this

book does not dispense medical advice nor prescribe the use of any

technique as a form of treatment for physical or mental problems. The advice of a physician or licensed health practitioner

might

exist. In the

is

recommended when such

cannot assume any responsibility for your actions or their author

is

a

problem

event you use any of the information in this book, the author effects.

The

intent of the

only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for

personal growth.

Martia Nelson

PO Box 1932 Sebastopol,

CA 95473

[email protected]

www.MartiaNelson.com

Ingratitude,

and loving memory of

my mother, Virginia, Mrs. Tate, and painter extraordinaire, Letty

Withloveandpetsto Chloe and Rincon

Pang

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I

extend

my

heartfelt gratitude to Marilyn

unwaveringly encouragement for insightful editing

and

computer seem almost safe

harbor to

my work

Hughes

and

for friendship

this book;

Jan Fischer

tactful delivery; Sarah Francis for friendly,

and Linda Thomas

and

making

for

my

for providing years of

my insecurity about sharing myself with the world.

Shakti Gawain, thank you for

first

pubhshing Coming Home in 1993 and

for

your timeless friendship.

To

all

who

traveling

choose a path of true

with you.

self discovery:

I

am

grateful to be

CONTENTS Preface

j$

Introduction

77

PARTI

23

My Story: I Begin the Return 1.

Opening

2.

Truth

3.

Personality and True Self

4.

My Search

5.

The Overview

6.

Seeing

7.

Sounding

8.

Your True Self Channeling and Sounding

PART II

47

Inner Guidance: Listening to Spirit Within 9.

Higher Guidance or Inner Guidance?

10. 11.

12.

How Accessible Is Inner Guidance? How Do Inner Guidance and Higher Guidance Relate? Guidance and

Its

Form

PART III Self-Love:

Your Source ofLife 13.

The Love That You Are

14.

Loving Yourself and Sweet Me

15.

Letting Love Light Your Life

16.

Choosing Love

17.

Loving Others

18.

Recognizing True Love

57

19.

Love and Physical Reality

Vivian

Chloe

PART IV

77

Journey into Form: The Exploration ofLimitation 20.

The Journey So

21. Illusion

far

and Truth

22. Living a Split 23.

Choosing Your Reality

24.

Emanations of Light

Marjorie

PARTV

101

Creating Your World:

Abundance and Manifesting 25.

Longing

for

Abundance

26.

Receiving Abundance

27.

Manifesting

28.

Empowering Your

29. Relinquishing 30. 31.

Desires

Control

Owning your Power to Create Transforming Your Blocks

Louisa and Abundance

PART VI

131

Enlivened Emotion:

The Healing Power ofIntense Feeling 32.

Emotion

33.

Love

34.

Hate

as a Vehicle for Spirit

35.

Forgiveness

36.

Anger

Clark

PART VII

163

My Story Continues: Painting 37.

Breakthrough

38.

Integrating

39.

What Happened

Letty Pang

PART VIII

171

Living the Split:

Redefining Destiny 40.

Heeding the Call

41.

Empowering Yourself with Yearning and Not Knowing

42.

Empowering Your Speech

43. Setting

44.

Your Course

Updating the

Map

45. Getting Free of Self-Judgment

Cherie Deter McArthur

PART IX A wakened Personality: Loyal Servant to Unlimited Spirit 46. Transformation

and Perfection

47.

Nurturing Your Personality

48.

Where

Is

Your Support?

49. Personality as Ally 50. Bridging the Split 51.

Approaching the Bridge

52.

Carrying Power

53.

Discharging Excess Energy

54.

Moving Through

55.

The Nothing

Louisa

the Gate

199

PARTX

231

Planetary Survival:

Facing Challenge in the World 56.

Deepening your Awareness

57. Survival

and the One Mind

58.

Transforming Fear

59.

Attachment, Suffering, and Disaster

60. 61.

From Crisis

to

Compassion

Allowing Integration

Rincon

PARTXI

257

You are the Earth: Living the 62. Inner 63.

One Body

and Outer

The World Catches

64. Healing the 65.

Realities

Up with You

World

Sharing Consciousness with the Earth

PARTXII

269

My Story: Epilogue My Life Goes to The Dogs 66.

Lessons of New Love

67.

Dog Training

68.

Conditions Change Again

as a Spiritual Practice

69. Clear Sailing

279

Contact Information

NOTE: Except where

last

names

are given,

are not people's real names.

names used in the

stories

ATTUNEMENTS AND MEDITATIONS To make

the material as practical and usable as possible, attunements and

guided meditations are sprinkled throughout

work with

they are listed below. As you creative in altering

them to

True

Self

Channeling

True

Self

Sounding

fit

this book.

these suggestions, let yourself be

your needs and your sense of truth.

Giving Yourself Sweet Me Giving Yourself Sweet Me Quickly Letting Love Light Your Life

Self-Love #1

Self-Love #2

Receiving Abundance

Being Creator of Your Life #1

Being Creator of Your Life #2 Being Creator of Your Life #3 Being Creator of Your Life #4 Forgiveness Staying

Aware in Anger

Healing Through Anger Healing Through Anger: Short Version

Accepting the Split Yearning and Not Knowing Talking About Yearning and Not Knowing Yearning,

Not Knowing, and Decisions

Finding Affection for Self Facing Self -Judgment Creating Changes in Your Life Feeling the Support of Source

Discharging Excess Energy

Moving Through the Gate Being in the Nothing

The One Mind Responding to People's Fear Finding Compassion in a Crisis

Witnessing Your Attachments

Responding to Distress

For quick reference,

in the

World

PREFACE I've

known

Martia Nelson for

many

years. I've

the evolutionary process she describes in the I've

watched her go through

first

part of this book, and

seen her develop an extraordinary connection with inner guidance as

she writes about in Part years,

II.

I've

had

intuitive reading

from her over the

and received amazingly clear and accurate insights and advice.

When stayed

me

Martia sent

up almost

all

the original version of this manuscript,

night reading

it,

feeling very excited.

I

knew

it

I

was

one of the best metaphysical books I had ever read. Coming Home is a

can integrate our

clear, practical

human

and inspiring explanation of how we

experience with our essential spiritual nature

and express the potential that dwells within

all

of us.

As

I

read

it,

it

me into an expanded perspective on my life. I have found it very helpful in my own personal process, and I know others will as well. Anyone who has resonated with my work is likely to love this book. Frankly, at this stage of my life I read very few books of this nature. actually

lifts

This one will be on

my

bedside table for quite some time.

I

believe

it's

destined to become a classic.

— Shakti Gawain

INTRODUCTION

We all know what its like to want to improve ourselves. We want to be and compassionate. Become better parents and better

loving, patient,

people. Learn to forgive. Develop our creative

we bring peace and goodness

gifts.

Find meaning in

Become

to the world.

life

as

spiritually evolved, or

even enlightened. These are wonderful things to want!

And

there are situations in our outer lives

we wish would

improve,

We want a job doing something we love, something that makes our heart sing and our soul soar. We want more money so we can feel safe and supported and free. We want a relationship with a true partner, a too.

soul mate

who will help us open to

our

full

capacity to love and be loved.

We want to release the struggle in our lives and replace and balance. These

it

with harmony

are wonderful, too!

We are ready to make the shift from surviving to thriving. This book can help us do that.

most

of us struggle

or

ego)

recognizing

what

identity,

rift

with a

and

I

split

wrote

this struggle is or

from my heart, knowing that

between our personality (everyday

(infinite

spirit

it

or true

source,

how it holds us back.

without

This split

is

the

in our awareness that keeps us overly identified with the material

world and out

of touch

with our inherent

unfulfilled, better at surviving

spiritual nature. It

realize the personal crises

subtle level that

something dissatisfied

is

we

it

split,

barely feel

missing from our

it

We

at first.

lives.

We

with our relationships, but

doesn't

bothering

The

make us happy.

us— we

we

often don't

creates. Usually the distress begins on such a

we

feel

have vague feelings that

burned out

shrug

it off.

Maybe we

at

our jobs or

Something always

happens that keeps us from having enough money. Or it

keeps us

than thriving.

Because our culture doesn't teach us about the

but

self)

we

have money,

can't even identify

what

is

long for something more, but what?

distress of our inner split builds over the years to a point of crisis.

Health problems

may

surface.

Relationships

may

crumble. Financial

COMING HOME

8

may overwhelm

stress

about retirement.

we

We may feel trapped in our jobs or panicked

us.

We suffer a loss that we think we can't cope with. As

witness violence in the world,

after

perpetually unsafe. Or, even

feel

we've done and accomplished over the decades,

all

meaning. As we get older our

more

suspicion that there's

developed life

we

— can

creep closer.

if

we

A growing

to our potential than we've recognized or

— and fear that we may run out of time to

start dulling

Even

may

fear of death

lacks

life

our days and keeping us up

why

don't understand

signs that we're at a turning point.

live a

wholly

fulfilled

at night.

these crises are occurring, they are

We're ready to discover

a reality

we ever thought possible. In fact, we sense that we need this discovery, that we can't keep going the same way we have in the past.

greater than

Because this greater reality our intellect or

real to

to it

and doubting

it

we

up, that

Even

if

its

existence.

should drop

The

pull

is

we now

from our true spirit.

self.

of.

True it is

offers

have made profound

more expansive

us everything

Because true

unlimited well-being.

It

we want

level of

it.

the spirit that we, and

it

can't.

our source, the essence of

self is

intelligence of all creation, including us,

and

who

crave the next,

In fact,

made

we

and go back to our old ways. But

We feel a pull, and we have to follow

awakening.

beings, are

all

We may sometimes think we're making

we're seasoned spiritual seekers

our very being, our

and

it

unidentified potential to us, not yet

we may vacillate between being drawn

five senses,

breakthroughs already, spiritual

is still

all

things

the material and

self is

connects us with

all

creation

most, including unconditional love and

holds back nothing from us and asks nothing in

return.

True our

self is

with us

lives oblivious to

it.

at all times

Perhaps

because

it is

us, yet

we've lived most of

we have glimpsed it for brief periods but

have been unable to sustain that awareness through the nitty gritty of our lives. It if

we

becomes

learn

how

easier to recognize, trust,

and

to direct our awareness to

it

feel

supported by true

— and

if

we

self

are willing to

adopt a kinder, more compassionate and inclusive view of ourselves, others,

and the world.

It's

important that

we do this. Our individual lives,

as well as the world, are going through such

change and facing such

INTRODUCTION

challenge that to ourselves

we

need true

self's

expansive perspective to bring healing

and to our planet.

In the pages ahead, beginning with true

self, I

my own

story of

awakening

to

share perceptions and techniques for living consciously in the

greater reality of true

self.

and integrate the two and true

19

This book

realities

is

designed to help us identify, love,

our culture has held separate: personality

self.

By embracing the personality, yet also expanding beyond to the unlimited love, guidance,

we can

Coming Home was

it

and creative power of true self, thrive.

published in 1993. To make the spiritual

first

concepts even more practical and usable, this edition contains updates absent in editions earlier than 2010 subjects

I

love:

Sounding (using vocal sounds to open to true

Nothing (or void, or emptiness).

you

— plus more information about two

I

also have continued

self)

My Stoiy

in the surprising journey true self orchestrated for

and the

to include

me between

1993

and 2010. In the Self Love chapter a process

I

become one

Me.

call Sweet

of

my most

and gently beyond the

I

I

have added one of

developed

it

my favorite true

several years ago,

of

it

and

it

has

effective tools for helping people to reach easily

personality's habituated patterns of suffering to

tap the unwavering compassion and well-being of true

writing a

self tools,

self. I

new book about Sweet Me, and I am happy to be

here so you can start using

have begun

sharing some

it.

In Creating Your World: Abundance and Manifesting,

natural flow of abundance and our participation with

I

talk about the

it.

In recent years

there has been a bursting forth of information about the law of attraction

and other abundance attracts

like.

We

practices, including the following concepts: Like

attract people, things, and circumstances that match our vibration

Our outer state is a reflection of our inner state. The secret to creating outer abundance is

creating an inner state of abundance.

We can

magnetize to us the things we want by

COMING HOME

20

using affirmations, visualization, and gratitude. Feeling the joy of already having the things I

we want can hasten

those things to

am

agree with and

material

I

come

across

us.

inspired

by

a great deal of the

—but often there

consider to be essential because, to me, attraction

and abundance practices

choose a different term than true Source, or something that feels I

think true

self (or

it is

(perhaps

it

is

spirit)

and very temporary,

true

self.

we receive from that practice will we thought it would.

Most

self,

you).

needs to be center stage in

the source of

results.

You might

God, higher

Spirit,

abundance practice that does not engage us with limited,

I

the foundation of the law of

more personally meaningful to

your term for

abundance practice because

an omission of one element

is

in general:

self

abundance

abundance.

all

An

spirit is likely to yield

significantly, the

abundance

not give us the unwavering well-being

True self is our being at the

level

of creation,

where the abundance we seek already exists

and everything already

In true self

source

we

we hope

visualization,

are

abundance.

true self

is

at all

Our

self!

at

it is

true self

that

we

don't have to create an inner

—we can simply drop into the one we already

personality believes in and experiences lack; our

self

abundance opens us to the abundant world

long for but have been missing. is

We are spirit and creation. We are the

abundance. Giving our personality tools for recognizing and

experiencing true

practice

us.

and gratitude.

abundance

have in true

available to

will respond to our abundance-based affirmations,

Another way to look state of

is

that our personality

— and

is

To me, the beauty

becomes aware that

held in the embrace of true

self

it is

of an

abundance

co-creating with

while doing

The personality directs our instinct for surviving; true self carries our blueprint for thriving.

we

it!

INTRODUCTION

As you open

may

emotions

maybe

to yourself in a

new way

while reading this book,

occasionally surface that you have not yet fully explored or

didn't even

know were

there. If this happens, take

and get the support you need. You might want to

yourself,

21

good care

of

talk to close

friends or to a pastoral counselor such as a minister or rabbi.

You might

consider joining a support group or finding a good therapist

who

can

guide you through your feelings. Be sensitive to your needs. Getting

comfort and support from trustworthy sources during times of change essential.

because

I

it is

is

have mentioned this a few more times throughout book important. Having a well cared for and healthy personality

that feels nurtured and safe enables you to stabilize amidst rapid growth

and to open to deeper levels

of spiritual experience.

To help you put new information meditations and what

I

call

to practical use,

I

have provided

throughout the book. The

attunancnts

attunements are ways to direct your awareness as you go about your

—ways that you can tune into a deeper

day

your everyday times

even as you remain at

The meditations

level of consciousness.

when you can

reality

are intended for

take several minutes and allow yourself a longer

period of inner exploration without being involved in any free to personalize these

activity. Feel

attunements and meditations, using your

own

wording, imagery, or personal focus.

Some

of the material in this

each chapter,

I

book

will touch

encourage you to write

you deeply. As you read

down any insights

or Aha's while

they are fresh. They are likely to be meaningful to you for years to come.

To

get the richest, juiciest benefit from the book,

Coming Home reading group so you can discuss

who

like-minded folks

it

I

suggest forming a

chapter-by-chapter with

share your interest in personal growth and

The discussion can enhance your understanding of the information presented here and help you apply it more deeply to your spiritual unfolding.

life— as well as give you group support for living from your true

Group support into

as

Form chapter,

we

is

a powerful resource.

we began

adapted to groups

As you

self.

will read in the Journey

losing our awareness of true self early in

life

of people: family, friends, school, religious

communities, and society in general. Reclaiming our true

self

awareness

22

COMING HOME

with the support of

a trustworthy group, even a small one, is especially

strengthening and can improve our relationship with the world.

A special healing takes place when we regain in a group that which

we once lost in a group.

Being genuinely supported and celebrated by a group as you open to

your true

self

can repattern your personality to

welcomes you and that there the world after

all.

That in

really is a place for itself

freedom, safety, and belonging.

holding yourself back

— and

to

It

now

feel that

you

— the

the world

you

true

— in

can be a breakthrough to greater

might be just what you need to stop

move

full

steam ahead into a

life

of

purpose and passion.

When your group discusses the chapters that tell my story, reflecting

I

suggest

on the ways you have experienced inner guidance, or times your

connection with true

self

has opened

new

doors and led you into

enriching territory you hadn't expected.

You might not be

enough

credit for those experiences, or

you may have forgotten some of

them.

found that as

and

I

my

life

I

wrote those chapters,

expanded. As you look at your

my life

giving yourself

appreciation for myself this

way, the same can

happen for you. This book of peace

is for

you.

As you read

and well-being that

is

it,

your true

may you

experience a deep sense

self.

With love, Martia Nelson*

'Martia

is

pronounced like Marsha.

Parti

9

MY STORY I

Begin the Return

1

Opening In 1984

from that

a place

me

deep within

was going

I

my life.

heard a voice that changed

I

that

to have to change

It

was my

had never known

I

but

voice,

came

it

me

existed. It told

my workaholic lifestyle or I was going

to die. I

was 34

had spent the

years old and

successful career

growth center

loved.

I

— as

seven years immersed in a

was co-owner and

I

well

last

director of a personal

an instructor of the acupressure and

as

therapeutic massage curriculum taught there to students in professional

My

training.

range of

unusual work combination allowed

my personality: my business

me

competitiveness,

to express a full

my creativity,

and

my desire to communicate with people at a deeply nurturing level. I loved my work, but I had become addicted to it with an intensity I could not control.

working, so

I

I

worked evenings and weekends, and when

was thinking about work.

stopped taking them.

I

together,

my

was

reaction

first

When

I

I

wasn't

could no longer relax on vacations

friends called to suggest getting

irritation that they

wanted

to intrude

on

my work time. rarely

I

work

that the

me. But

was

I

I

but

I

rarely felt well either.

had devoted

my

life

to

was now

I

should have noticed

draining the

life

kept going, until the inner voice spoke and I was able to

happened

It

sick,

in an acupressure session

Aminah Raheem, who had been one and exhaustion,

I

of

lay fully clothed

I

was

my teachers.

Aminah put

a reassuring

I

felt a

hand on

my body

and

woman,

table as she

me

to help

discomfort, like anxiety, in

my belly

listen.

Suffering from stress

on Aminah's massage

gently held a series of acupressure points on

Half an hour into the session

receiving from a

out of

said,

"What

my

surprise

relax.

my belly.

your belly

is

saying to you?" I

was about

belly's

message.

to say,

don't know," but to

was

It

misinterpretation as

"I

I

spoke

you are doing and learn

a

clear it

and

definite,

out loud: "If

new way

with

no

you do not stop

knew my

I

room

all

the

to live, you are going to die."

It

for

work went

COMING HOME

26

on to explain, "You

work

are ready for

that takes you to a deeper level of

connecting with people. To find this work, you must stop what you are

doing now. You are so depleted that

if

you do not stop, you will die

within a year in an accident or in 20 years from cancer."

As

emerged

revelation

this

On

simultaneous, reactions.

and wailing

my body felt

my body was

of death,

anything

as

I

had ever felt

Yet, at the

one

had two

I

level

distinctly

was shocked.

I

I

but

different,

started sobbing

the impact of the message. Facing the reality

with

filled

fear

and

grief

more powerful than

before.

same time, there was

deep within

a place

me

was

that

completely calm and well, untouched by any of the emotion. At that level

was no worry, no

there

fear,

grace and peace beyond

all

no disturbance whatsoever. distress

I

might

feel. I

It

was

a core of

realized the message

was coming from this inner core and everything it was saying was

true.

Then the message concluded: "Very few people have the opportunity to witness the beginning of their death.

whether I

my

know it

at the time,

personality and true

while accepting true

self's

but this was

By

self.

my first

my

me for a couple weeks,

my new work would be, that time, life.

often

I

In giving

for almost decade.

to live.

And

I

life. I

to that point, the

while

me

I

I

—

or,

I

most important and

With my

I

had no idea what

more than

I

relinquished an identity

had no idea how

a year.

During

"fit." It

was

as

accurately,

ever,

I

would

I

my

had clung

get the

money

I

let

old friendships drop,

though everything that had been

had made me

real

— had

real to myself

to hold onto anymore.

external world in such change,

to

me continuity or comfort.

a love relationship to give

more

become too vaporous

was

insecure and afraid as a result of letting go of

needed support more than

before

I

my work.

lived in free-fall for

Each month

no longer

personality

After letting that session reverberate

quit

up my work

was without

feeling they

to

felt

so

my

greater state of unwavering well-being,

That decision was a huge leap into the unknown.

"old"

make about

experience of both

feeling the distress of

make what was perhaps, up

well-informed decision of

within

a choice to

this is yours."

didn't

able to

You have

I

began looking within

MY STORY

and

into the thoughts, feelings,

The

life.

had been driving me

beliefs that

details of this inner landscape

were fuzzy

all

but

at first,

I

27

my felt

my most

pulled to keep looking. Before long, old pain surfaced as

distressing childhood experiences presented themselves to me, desperate for release.

My

mother had been an

alcoholic

who

could turn from

genuinely loving and supportive to verbally vindictive in an instant. father

room

had been

I

relived

memories of the physical abuse and emotional

was flooded with old at a time,

feelings of fear, shame,

an unrelenting ache in

With

unlovable and alone.

through lonely hours of

what was happening. more

fulfilling life

of the

most

In the midst of

my

chest reminded

7

All inner injur} that

named Linda who did

me

that

I still

felt

slowly came to terms with

I

had kept me from having

painful, frightening,

significant periods of

my

I

the help of skilled body/mind therapists, and

my own processing,

was

isolation,

and helplessness. For weeks

was now demanding my

healed. This process

was one

who yelled and shoved me around the family sometimes pinning me to the wall or the floor.

a rageaholic

several times a year,

As

My

attention so

a

could be

it

and time-consuming, yet

it

my life.

soul-searching, a friend told "intuitive readings," in

me

about a

woman

which she communicated

information from her higher guidance to help people in their spiritual

growth. In the hope of getting greater perspective on what through,

I

I

was going

made an appointment for a reading.

Linda's technique

was

simple. She closed her eyes,

went

into a light

meditation, and asked for higher guidance, inviting a greater perspective

based in love and wisdom to come through fascinating,

and the information

recognized at a deep aspects of

level.

From her

The

received from her

session

made me

was feel

greater perspective, Linda described

my spirit that I had sensed but had never been able to put into

clear thoughts or words. too,

I

her.

Toward the end of the

could receive higher guidance directly,

sitting for ten minutes, three times a day,

session she told

if I

chose

to.

me that I,

She suggested

with the intention of quietly

listening.

The suggestion that I could directly receive information from a higher source surprised me.

I

had assumed very few people could do

this,

only

COMING HOME

28

who were

those

gifted

had never thought

me

of trying

Now being told

it.

that

had never

I

myself

let

sense that

had

feel.

had

I

work, so

for this special

I

could have contact with

I

expanded knowledge and unconditional love

a source of in

and somehow chosen

much

lived

stirred a longing

my

of

something deep within.

life

with

had

a

to do

buried

grief, a

with

vague memory of spiritual family, a family that extended beyond

a

knew and

I

lost

even beyond the physical realm.

the people

I

somewhere

in this greater connectedness

longed to find emotion;

it

was

My

it.

weeks

was

getting nowhere.

me I

could do this

patiently, then

if I

I

that I

went beyond

it

Home.

and

listening as Linda

had suggested,

frustrated

and disappointed.

Why did she tell

of sitting felt

felt

I

true source, and

from

grief at feeling separated

a spiritual yearning for

After a few

was my

It

couldn't?

I

I

phoned her and complained. She listened

checked in with her guidance. "You're not ready," she

reported back. I

hit the ceiling. "If I'm not ready,

did you

tell

me

I

could do something

why did you get my hopes up? Why I

can't do?"

I

wanted

to experience

the contact so much. "It's is

not that you can't do

You're just not quite ready because there

it.

something you're blocking," Linda said gently. I

started to say, "I'm not blocking anything!" but before

the words out, tears streamed

"Oh,

I

know,

it's

down my

face,

and

that I'm going to have to move,"

listen, it's clear that

my deeper

self

needs

me

to

a I

new

I

could get

clarity emerged.

told Linda. "If

move out

I

really

of the area.

I'll

Home is

leave this house that I've lived in for so long

and loved so much.

so important to me.

me to leave." The barrier was

It's

the hardest thing for

broken.

2

Truth

we block things we don't want to hear because of the conflict we'll feel. Yet in turning to higher guidance we ask for the truth. To the degree we want to expand beyond our previous limitations, Often in our daily

lives

MY STORY

we our

long for lives,

it.

we

But to the degree

resist the truth

often equaled

we

and

want control over the

still

The

29

details of

toward truth

is

by our resistance to it. Our ambivalence is our reluctance

to

fear its touch.

pull

choose between empowerment and control.

When the truth touches us, every structure in our lives that was built on nontruth is destined for change. When I let in the truth about needing to move away, I finally allowed truth to touch me. My house was my last my

holdout, the last tangible symbol of

my grasp on the house, guiding me was beyond my control, loosening

I

old self

I still

clung

In finally

to.

recognized that the inner power

and

its

being beyond

my control was

me forward. I knew then that my safety was in my trust of this powerful source, not in my efforts to control it. could propel

the very reason it

I

also realized that higher guidance doesn't "impose" an

agenda but

simply offers information and options that support our highest good. Listening to our inner source of higher guidance (true its

self)

and following

we surrender our free will or override when we use it properly, higher guidance

suggestions never require that

our better judgment. Rather,

helps us open to our deepest, most empowering truth and integrate into our daily living.

Our

challenge

inner truth; only then are

to give

is

up our tendency

to

it

deny our

we really free to follow it. 3

Personality and True Self

For the

first

shoots of

year

new

my contact with higher guidance was like tender young

growth.

I

felt

vulnerable and protective, sharing

happened with very few people.

I

was

would judge me

as

took time every day to close

my

that old friends

afraid

I

what

wouldn't be believed or

unworthy

of such a precious

experience. I

assistance in every aspect of

my

life.

eyes and

sit quietly,

asking for

The response was amazing. An

expanded, inner panorama of awareness opened to me.

I

was given

a

deeper view of each situation, one that was loving and revealed a purpose greater than

I

had been

able to see with

my

ordinary perception. Higher

COMING HOME

30

guidance spoke to

me with much greater compassion and kindness than I

— or than anyone

had ever given myself

My

personality

else

had ever given me.

was being re-parented by my

unconditional love and unwavering compassion

was being taught

as a child.

I

began to have greater self-compassion

I

my life more clearly, and to feel less afraid and alone.

than ever, to see

To my

a result

had missed

and the world through that

to see myself, others,

expanded perspective. As

I

true self with the

surprise, this higher guidance of true self kept

showing me

my life was really wrong! This was difficult for me to comprehend because my life seemed so obviously topsy-turvy, and my mind frequently told me was doomed. Yet true self patiently showed me the divinity, love, and hidden order in every situation, introducing me that nothing about

I

time and time again to the deeper perspective.

and I began to

truth,

One

of the

is

learn.

most helpful lessons was that

personality and true

our conscious

self.

self,

Most people

and

what we can and cannot do

life.

greater reality that cradles self,

we

in

call personality

and to keep

others,

True

on the other hand, patiently stands

self is

all

Personality

tight rules about

by,

a state of vibrant well-being

our unlimited

spirit; it sees

blinders into an unlimited reality that

which

ego.

Personality sees a small reality, not the

possibility is our true nature, a birthright that can so.

the

it.

unwavering knowledge that

do

live in split realities:

conditioned to see the world through the eyes of

limitation, to judge ourselves

True

My heart recognized this

is

offering the

and unlimited

be lived if we choose to

beyond the

personality's

the essence of creation and in

things are possible.

The term

true self is

not meant to imply that any part of who

false or unreal. All aspects of

experience, at the level at

our being are real to us in our

which we perceive them, and they

value.

True

of its

expanded nature no matter what

lives,

and no matter what our personality

self refers to

we are is

the aspect of our being that

we may is

is

human all

have

completely aware

be experiencing in our

thinking, feeling, or doing.

MY STORY

31

True self is undiminished by the personality 's suffering

and always

sees the bigger picture.

my true self, I sensed when I was drawing awareness from that source and when I was not. I realized that my true self had been within me all my life, quietly guiding me along, yet I had not identified with it. My identity had been with my personality. The feelings, beliefs, and expectations of my personality had been my yardstick for measuring my success, safety, sanity, and personal wellbeing. The problem had been that my personality only saw the smaller As I became more aware

of

picture and operated entirely from conditioning and past experience.

Now was in a bind. My personality told me to tighten control of my I

life.

It

new things my growth, showing me that

was panicked by

rejoiced in

the

was

I

I

doing. Yet

my

true self

had changed the direction

of

my life at every level as an entry into something greater. Often my personality invalidated the information received through my true's self guidance, and I was challenged to choose which source to I

So for months

believe.

I

lived

with

both realities

and

their apparently

me ultimately impossible odds. And in

conflicting information. Magically, everything true self told

turned out to be true, even against seemingly spite of die,

my

personality's repeated warnings,

and did not end up crazy or

did not go broke, did not

alone. Instead,

shifted to incorporate true self into

to

I

my identity,

me new way

something within

and

I

learned a

live.

4

My Search The turning point came through Because

it

was my

a rite of passage tailor-made for me.

area of greatest resistance— my personality's last

stand— the drama unfolded around needed to move,

where but

I

I

I

would be

packed most going.

I

of

leaving

my

house. After

I

realized

I

belongings and tried to figure out

new home was waiting for me, My inner guidance told me that tracking

sensed that a

couldn't quite sense where.

my

32

COMING HOME

my new home would strengthen me and teach me a new way of living. After I had agonized over my dilemma for a few months, the name of a specific town popped into my mind, out of the blue, during a light meditation.

knew

it

I

set off for that area a

was home. Finding

the right house

looked at was definitely mine. wait to move

few days

made an

I

later

was

and when

I

arrived,

I

one

I

easy; the third

offer right

away and

couldn't

in.

My

Everything was perfect.

offer

was

accepted.

The bank

said there

would be no problem with my loan. I put my old house on the market and

was confident

it

would

sell

few short weeks

quickly. In a

I

would

the crowded city and settle in the country where everything

Cows would

live across the street

from me!

I

was

was

leave

green.

delighted with where

my intuition was taking me at last. Then the trouble a mistake

started.

The bank

less attractive

As the deadline

my loan. that, my house

On

top of

for

buying

my new house

tell

me

the situation

me. The realtor trying to

sell

my

representing

me

tried to prepare I

in buying the

me

selling,

for the

approached, things looked

was

impossible. Banks told

old house told me. Even the realtor

new house

told me. Well-meaning friends

disappointment they saw coming. That was

learned to hate the often-heard "spiritual" axiom:

doing what's really

wasn't

houses nearby sold within days.

grim. People began to

when

me they had made Round and round we

and told

and could not possibly approve

went; they wouldn't budge.

though

called

right,

"When

you're

everything happens easily and effortlessly." (I'm

now that that is not always true!) I was torn inside. For the first time in my life I had clearly heard the intuitive voice of my true self, recognized it as real, and followed it by here to say

taking major action based on

its

guidance.

I

had chosen the expansive

reality of true self over the restrictive reality of

made the

personality.

I

had

shift.

The planned move anything had ever certainty.

my

felt.

to

my

house

felt

so deeply right,

real?

right than

Yet outer events clearly contradicted that inner

My confidence was shaken. Was

guidance being

more

Did

this

I

fooling myself about true self

mean I could never really trust myself again?

MY STORY

my

At

consulted true

I

"Of course that's your

instantly:

you will

wit's end,

Do

live there.

third time

my

and cancel

guidance has told that."

Who

Finally

my

offer

work

that

it's all

What

appears to be most

out."

me we

realtor called to tell

knows what

we

You found your home, and

house.

on the new house,

me

Peace and clarity came

self.

not give up on yourself.

real often isn't. Everything will

The

new

33

was

I

should admit defeat

clear.

going to work, and

said,

I

I

"My

higher

have confidence in

she thought, but she didn't argue anymore.

found a way to

and

satisfy the bank's concerns,

my

loan

got last-minute approval. At eight o'clock on the night before the

and quickly from then that

my

someone bought

deadline,

move came my

beckoned

me

on,

first

for so long.

firmly planted

old house. Everything happened smoothly

and

soon moved into

I

tangible step into the

had crossed

I

on new ground,

over,

my new

new

home. With

had

territory that

and with

at least

one foot

my journey Home had truly begun. 5

The Overview

Why

had

my

transition been so difficult?

move into new

my

true self (through

resistance within

degree

my

To the degree

house). I

it

I

opened to true

my

self, I

found

my way. And to and

personality's old beliefs

While

simple, though only hindsight allowed

lost in the

had been the

to

drama

I

had been blind much

moment but unable

challenge, the true test.

choosing greater truth and acting on self

clarity of

personality (through the outer obstacles with the

my way moment

picture. Yet that

with true

had manifested the

I

the

fears

my outer way was obstructed.

that way.

time, feeling

a

intuition, or inner guidance) as well as the

The dynamics had been see

realities,

allowed the Hmitations of

to restrict me,

had been going through

consciousness. Because part of my transition had included

the experience of living in split

my

I

it

of the

to see the bigger

Those moments of

had strengthened

and had kept me on my path.

me to

my

alignment

COMING HOME

34

6

Seeing

After

I

had made the move

my new house, my reality expanded in leaps people rediscover their true self became my

to

and bounds. Helping other

new work. Through the process profound truths about

life

of guiding them,

witnessed and learned

I

and the unlimited being

new

myself and others with this

all are.

opened worlds of

sight

my

me. The chapters ahead hold

we

Seeing

possibilities to

but timeless,

favorites of those early,

insights.

Those insights began coming in 1985 when coaching sessions for

I

started doing

people asked about their

clients. In these sessions,

greatest personal issues: happiness, purpose, work, relationships, on.

They wanted

life

and so

dynamics

a bigger picture that illuminated the spiritual

underlying their struggles and provided a more loving, compassionate

They longed

perspective for viewing themselves. celebrated for

who

seeing, as Linda

had done

for

ways

of

my greatest joys.

a meditative state

and open

expanded perspective of

it

simple:

my

itself.

Take

a

to the person

few moments

a deeper

it

unwavering love and well-being, which

— our

self.

As

I

came

did that, an

I

I

received that

my body

every level as a I

to drop into

simultaneously

absorbed into at

self

had never known or

I

— and

being. For the entire session,

natural, essential nature

with

Doing that became one

For an hour or more

becoming part of me

my

to look

awareness to true

profound wisdom and beauty of

throughout

their lives.

spiritual information

perceived before presented

information and spoke

was

seen and

feel

me, and help them experience their true

My original technique was

personality,

My job

would enrich and expand

in

that

they truly were.

to

full

was bathed

felt

the

and

my

imprint

in a flow of

to recognize as our

most

true self state. This flow of expanded

information and loving well-being taught

me

as

much

as

it

taught

my

clients. I

called this technique true

as a clear channel to true self's

self channeling

because

I

was opening myself

expanded perspective. Relating

to people

MY STORY

through

true self channeling

the "deeper

massage

way

territory for me.

At

last

I

understood

me on Amman's

with people" foretold to

of connecting

and speaking engagements quickly followed, and

table. Classes

found that

was new

got the same deep, spiritual education no matter

I

where I channeled true

my work was

evolving over the years, and I

when

I

or

self.

Because the nature of

than two decades,

35

I

learned and grew with

have acquired

to true self channeling, so

I

dynamic and

so

a

wide range

my

refer to

Now,

it.

kept

alive, it

after

more

of techniques in addition

sessions

with the umbrella term

coaching: private coaching, life coaching, or true self

coaching

— they are

interchangeable terms to me. love

I

all

that

I

do. Yet the true self channeling continues to be the

technique that reveals

new

more helpful than anything ordinary state of awareness 7

information consistently richer, deeper, and I

my

could have thought of in

personality's

—while providing the "missing piece

11

needed

by the person for whom I am channeling. For example, one

moving forward

in

woman came

my life like

been pushing myself to look Every time

I

I

should.

my feet in

I

me

saying, "I'm stuck. I'm not

hate

my job,

and

for

months

I've

new one, but I'm not following through.

for a

think of job hunting,

nothing. I'm dragging

to

I

immediately lose energy and do

other areas, too. What's

wrong with me

that I'm so stuck?" I

closed

my

eyes and opened to true

instantly appeared,

was

showing that

this

self.

woman was

An

inner panorama

not stuck at

all:

She

waiting. In the image, she stood with her toes touching, but not

crossing, a line dividing her

leaving and the one she yet because she

into

was about

two

territories,

would help

new territory.

of her life in the territory she

was

leaving

had been

overwhelmed by

she didn't deserve much, and always having a schedule so

demanding that

was about

was

moving forward

shift that

surviving: struggling hard but just getting by, being crises, feeling

the one she

to enter. She wasn't

was waiting to complete an internal

her to succeed in her

The focus

life

it

depleted her. The focus of her

to enter

would be

life

in the territory she

thriving: regularly feeling ease, happiness,

COMING HOME

36

abundance,

compassion,

goodness through

While

creativity,

and the flow

peace,

safety,

her.

transitioning from the struggle

living to the vibrant well-being of thrival

and

suffering of survival based

based

living,

was pausing to

she

give her personality time to develop a stronger taproot into true

needed to get used to feelings of true force

— and

carry

it.

into her

self

self

new

was

well-being

to

She

become her

new energy circuits to new fuel, propelling her

and then guiding and sustaining

territory

self.

well-being as her new, driving

her personality needed to develop

True

of

Rushing

her.

forward too soon, before her personality had become rooted in that wellbeing,

would have caused her

hadn't been able to see

Her inner

it,

her deeper

would

shift

to run out of fuel.

Although her personality

wisdom had been making her wait.

perception,

which needed

of survival

and more oriented to the vibrant well-being

changing jobs because jobs because

I

choose

don't deserve ease.

I

I

to

hate

"I

less oriented to the struggle

my

more

enjoy and deserve ease. I'm

would become

be

fulfilling

feel

old job"

work

at

drawn

to

and

self-

suffering

of thrival. "I'm

would become

"I'm changing

in a supportive environment."

home with

like feeling in the

others to gain well-being"

and

also bring changes to her thinking

it."

would become

struggle"

"Life is hard,

flow of

would become

open

I

"I

feel stuck"

please or impress

life." "I

"I

and

"I

to the well-being

always present within me." I

channeled this information, and more, to the

woman for

rang true to her, and helped her to trust and appreciate talked another half hour about left

the

session

an hour.

herself.

how she would apply the information.

with new self-confidence,

well-being,

clarity,

It

We She

and

practical tools to help her thrive.

True

self

channeling

is

a joyous experience for me.

I

feel

the most

balanced while channeling than at any other time or in any other

activity.

For the entire period I'm channeling, the pure love and well-being of true self

stream through me, bathing

everyone and everything

— our

me

being

within. Unity, our Oneness with

one source

—

is real

to

me and

seems

the most natural perception in the world.

Not only does true

self

channeling help

me

to reveal new,

expanded

MY STORY

perspectives to clients and students, spiritual education.

whether the channeling

comes through me channeling state

is

not

self

who we

my

things every time

all

the information as

I

channeling also keeps showing

we

are;

nerves in the

are always more.

with mine

I

am

While the information

new

session but wouldn't quite

tell

me what

I

deeply

it.

that our personality

is

given this lesson whenever a

One man

criticizing things in

Then he wanted

before he had even sat down.

concepts;

channel

me

For me, the

it.

(yes, this happens!).

two minutes by

first

channel, regardless of

I

experience the reality of

I

not just an openness to

client's personality clashes

on

remains my primary source of

for others or myself.

is

in words,

perceive and experience

True

new

learn

I

it

37

it

my

got

office

a very7 specific focus to his

was.

I

him block me

felt

at

every turn.

Exasperated,

considered referring him to someone

else. Instead,

I

followed an intuitive feeling to go ahead with the session. As soon as

I

I

opened to true deepened, and

I

self

channeling, everything shifted.

no longer saw

from the deep pain of having he carried within. relating to

him

It felt

as

a difficult person.

lost

I

saw

My

this

perspective

man

suffering

touch with the amazing beauty and love

natural then to address

him with love and honor,

he truly was rather than as his personality presented

him.

Conscious,

true

experience

self

personality that I'm in

it

when I remember to

effects in

my life.

are

all

not

so

integrated

continuously throughout

available

Its

is

choose

most precious

it,

my

day, but

and I increasingly see

gift to

into

its

my it's

positive

me has been the lesson that we

more than we appear to be.

7

Sounding

A

year into working with clients,

happened. As

I

impulse to open

would be

I

something surprising suddenly

turned inward to channel true

self, I

started feeling an

my mouth and make nonverbal sounds. What the sounds

had no

idea,

but the impulse was strong and persistent.

I

COMING HOME

38

resisted a

few times, not wanting to appear foolish or weird to

and finally asked true

"Go with

it,

and

self

when I was alone. Make the sounds, even

about

trust

it.

my clients,

it

if

for only a

few

seconds, and explain to your clients that you're just trying something

new," was the message

I

received. "Follow the sounds. They're taking

you

somewhere." So did

I

did what true

my few

self suggested.

I

felt

awkward and embarrassed as I

seconds of sounding for clients before the verbal channeling.

People were receptive, and no one seemed to be judging

time

me but me. With

gained confidence and allowed the sounding to continue longer, up

I

to five minutes or more.

To

better understand

when I was the world

alone. It

what was happening,

was then I began

was opening

it

to me.

everything, everything, in our

We whole

humans

is

sounding

most

are such visual creatures that

realized that

is less

of us can go our

we

see.

reality:

We

predominantly by what

seems second to visual

believing." Audible reality

unconsciously believe there

I

world is sound.

lives defining physical reality

"Seeing

my

for myself

sound and to experience

to love the

Through

sounded

also

I

to hear in the

world than to

see.

I

was

beginning to perceive differently.

As

made

I

sounded,

it

perceived that not only

is

everyone and everything

of sound, but that everyone and everything emanates

everywhere!

mean

I

I

mean

don't

its

sound

all the time,

that everyone and everything creates sound;

that everyone and everything

is

I

sound and emanates the sound that

is.

Every blade of grass,

tree, cloud, rock, flower,

as well as every inanimate object in the

the sound

it

is.

vibrational range

The

we

unaware that they ears

consciously hear, so

are as present

sounding sessions,

inward to true

self,

is

our bodies

sound and emanates

opened

I

we move

around us as

air.

through the world

Over the millennia, our

register only the miniscule range of

sounds directly related to our physical

my

—

cell in

vast majority of those sounds are outside the

and brains have evolved to

In

world

and

survival.

closed

my

eyes,

turned

my

awareness

my mouth, and let sounds come through me

MY STORY

much the way I

received

words

in true self channeling. Surrendered to

and creative process,

intuitive

They came

could.

I

an

wasn't consciously controlling or

I

directing the sounds. Impulses to sound in specific

me, and I followed them as best

39

I

called the

ways gently guided

sounds

true self sounds.

in spontaneous, unpredictable sequences that

were not

consistent enough to be called chanting. They also lacked the melody or

organization of song.

making one sound, one would

be, or

I

I

saw no

logical patterns. In fact, while

had no idea how long

where they

all

were

and allowed the orchestration to unfold in

The range and loud,

its

I

I

lost to

was not used

stayed in the

ready to be reactivated the instant

words or

still

moment

and

quiet, strong

and more. Sometimes

some but not

to making. Often they

us over the ages that

original language before

liked

I

what the next

own mysterious way.

lovely, enticing, rough, unpolished, odd,

were sounds

last,

of sounds varied greatly: high, low, soft

they were rhythmic, sometimes not.

sounds

would

it

leading. So

was

I

others;

most

seemed ancient,

like

linger as vibrational memories,

we open

to them. "This

intellect developed"

was

was our

a phrase that

came to me frequently. Even more profound to me than the way the sounds sounded was the

way

they

felt.

All of them, even the softest

and

quietest, even the ones

thought didn't sound "good", created vibrations that pleasurable as they

moved through me.

instrument being played by true

The bones

My

body

felt

I

purposeful and

felt like

a musical

self.

my face

in the right side of

might \ibrate with one sound,

my skull might vibrate with the next one. Then it might be both sides of my face, or the back of my throat, or my chest, or my belly, or my left hip. I never knew which part of my body would be "played" next and then

because

I

never

knew what

the next sound

would

be,

but

it

all felt

glorious.

As

in all

my work,

personality simply

own being— true sounding

at

was

self,

me

or the sounds.

My

relinquishing direction to a deeper aspect of

my

no one

else

of course.

any point,

much

was

I

controlling

could have stopped or changed the

the

way we can

stop or change a

spontaneous song, poem, or painting we're creating. Yet, as often

is

the

40

COMING HOME

case with such creative processes, the sounding

come through without expressiveness,

my

worked best when

I

deep

interfering. In a state of surrender to a

personality kept

its

hands

off the steering

let it

wheel

as

much as possible and went along for the marvelous ride.

My personal

sounding sessions began lasting longer, usually 10 to 20

minutes but sometimes 45 minutes to an hour. They always

presented

itself internally as

channeling. Usually facing,

and nourished.

balanced,

enlivened,

feeling

it

gave

but occasionally

usually long ago. for sure.

me

sounded,

much

felt real

and

I

it

information

did during verbal

a bigger picture for a personal issue

was

I

experienced vignettes from other lifetimes,

me

to

as

I

or other people's

I

cant

sounded, complete with emotion,

spiritual perspective.

They always increased

understanding of my life and of life in general, so

By sounding

as

Whether they were my lifetimes

They

visual images,

I

I

Expansive

me

left

I

my

was deeply grateful.

discovered that nonverbal sound can cam' far more

information than verbal language. In verbal language, information

presented linearly, one

word

write, read, or listen to

all

linear. It is

happens

all at

information,

and

it

those words. True

self

sound, however,

once. True self

all

takes time to speak

after the other,

multidimensional and outside time:

A

lot

not

happens, and

sound is jam-packed with multiple

if

we

have

five

it

levels of

concepts to communicate verbally,

speak or write them one at a time: and to communicate

them

is

communicated simultaneously and instantly.

For example,

organize

is

into a sequence in

which each concept

effectively,

we we

leads logically to

the next. But those same five concepts communicated through true self

sound are presented

all at

once in a

cluster.

Even richer than

that, the

emotional visceral visual (mental images), intellectual and spiritual experiences of all five concepts are presented simultaneously, in seconds.

complex information a

is

Or

in a split second. This

transmitted as a whole. Information "sounded" in

minute might take 30 minutes or an hour to speak

version

would lack the depth

— and

still

of experiential imprint that

the spoken

comes with

true self sound.

TV program on PBS about whales. was hear this aspect of my sounding experience

One day while watching surprised and delighted to

a

I

MY STORY

apparently confirmed by science.

"We now

can measure the amount of

information communicated in whale songs," saying.

"We

I

can't decipher the content yet, so

are saying to each other, but

we

can

minute whale song conveys approximately Homer's

remember the researcher

we

can't tell what

whales

how much they are saying.

tell

41

as

much

A

30-

information as

T/ie Iliad."

In addition to using true self sound to gain expansive information and

awareness, true

self's

I

sound for the most

practical reasons. Sounding tethers

unwavering well-being no matter where

in traffic, tense

and anxious because

I

home

left

I

am.

When I'm stuck

and

now am getting

late

even later by the minute, doing just three breaths of true

and calms me. Or

drive instantly soothes

sound

for the brief time

to create inner balance

One

client

it

taught to do true

I

self

self

sounds as

I

in the morning, doing true self

takes to put on

and harmony that

me to

my slippers

affects

and robe

is

enough

me the whole day.

sounding got creative using

it.

A

self-described "extremely analytical person" prone to multi-tasking her

way through her day,

she had been uncomfortable meditating because she

couldn't quiet her mind.

preamble to meditating

Then she

— sounding

became quiet and peaceful

for a

few minutes

first

life,

— and her mind

found that during

in meditation. She also

periods of increased stress in her a

started doing true self sounding as a

sounding for even just two minutes

day made her life noticeably more peaceful and enjoyable.

As

a small business

employee issues or

sales challenges.

Sounding helped her with problem owner, she sometimes faced

When

she

felt

stuck, she

difficult

solving, too.

would hold the problem

"Within

a day,

figured out in

me

feel

calm and open to new

an answer always comes to

me

mind

for a

to ten minutes. "The

moment; then she would release it and sound for five sounding makes

in her

ideas," she told

that

I

me.

never would have

my usual, analytical approach."

Perhaps the reason true

self

sounding

ways ranging from the most expansive

is

to the

energetically integrates the vibrations of true personality's limited consciousness.

so potent,

most

self's

and

assists

us in

practical, is that

it

unlimitedness into the

The sound comes from

a deeper level

than our beliefs or emotions and imprints the boundless knowing,

COMING HOME

42

unconditional love, and unwavering well-being of true

the

self into

personality's reality.

8

YourTrue

appeals to you,

If it

guidance in your

I

Self

Channeling and Sounding

invite

you to tune into your true

own way.

inner, intuitive voice

It

— and

may be

sitting quietly

then speaking

messages in your journal. Or

it

and

loving

self's

listening for that

out loud or writing

it

may be through

its

creative expression such

as dancing, painting, singing, or playing a musical instrument.

At the end started.

As with

of this chapter, there are meditations to help all

suggestions in this book, use

most empowering and balancing

words or formats work better

other

however: True

and it If

feel

for you,

and

you

bad about yourself or your feelings

you to take

if

There are two constants,

own choices and common sense.

you receive information that scares you,

ill

make changes

guidance always comes with love and empowerment,

self's

never overrides

conveys

them in whatever way is

feel free to

for you.

you get

life,

criticizes you,

disempowers you in any way, or

about other people or the world

specific action

—

it

is

makes you

NOT

— or

if it

coming from true

pressures

The

self.

personality thinks that way, but true self does not.

If

that happens,

recognize that your personality has been activated and

is

trying to help,

but that

its

perspective

is

too limited to be truly helpful.

Do not reject your personality any more than you would reject year-old child for telling you

how

self drives.

two-

to drive a car. Imagine that you help

your personality into a special child's seat in the back ride as a cherished passenger

a

seat,

where

it

can

and look out the window while your true

Then, remember that true

self is deeper, wiser,

and more

loving than the personality, and invite your true self to guide you. True self

sees

everyone

and

appreciation. All of true

diminish

it.

everything

self's

with

love,

compassion,

and

guidance will increase your well-being, not

MY STORY

People

who do

these meditations often

want

43

to start getting "good"

information right away and become disappointed or frustrated

this

if

doesn't happen. Think of this process as turning on a faucet that has been

shut off for years. At drinking, but after

open to true Information

judgment do not

self

it

the water might be rusty, not ready for

first

has run for some time

may be

it

you

gets clear. Similarly, as

guidance, the flow might be "rusty" for quite a while.

may not make

— or

it

sense, or

may

it

clear, loving true self

carry your personality's

guidance that you simply

know how to use yet.

Be content to anything with

it,

usable for you. guidance, that

the guidance run through you, without doing

let

for as long as

And

is fine.

even

You

it

takes to

become

and

clear, supportive,

you never actually do anything with the

if

will be sitting in the flow of love, compassion,

and well-being while channeling; that

is

the most important part. That

love will be imprinting into your personality's consciousness and into the

and tissues in your body, and

cells life

at

some point it will emanate into your

to create greater love, compassion,

you do not think you

If

One

worry.

awareness

is

of

two

things

and well-being for you

are getting is

that, at

Your

any actual information, do not

probably happening:

not yet attuned to the subtlety of true

Continuing to practice over time will

some

point,

guidance

is

nonverbal, in

still

communication.

your awareness so

of the information. 2.)

which case

that you are not conscious of verbal content.

information

Your conscious

1.)

self's

likely attune

you will become conscious

style of receiving

there.

The

it is

natural

loving, true self

imprints within you, teaching your personality and

emanating into your

life.

In either case, the

most important thing

is

to

enjoy the subtle flow of well-being through you while you are channeling or sounding.

(I

recommend

that you not take important action or

major changes in your life based solely on your true

As with everything not

in this book,

feel right for you, is

doing

it

and move into an

if

make

self channeling.)

either of these meditations does

not pleasant, or actually distresses you, stop activity that balances

and nourishes you.

If

you

need to talk about your experience with someone, get that support. Stay with exercises that increase your well-being and let go of ones that don't.

44

COMING HOME

9 MEDITATION

TRUE SELF CHANNELING 1.

and notice your breathing. Every breath

Sit quietly

breath,

how

no matter

Assume

that each breath

deeper into true

where your true

3.

is

deeper into true

automatically breathing you a if

little

you are not sure exactly what or

imagine that your breath has innate

self is,

know. Each breath gently breathes you

intelligence that docs little

life-

body

Even

self.

good

a

deep or shallow, and breathes

sustaining oxygen into your 2.

is

self.

.

Think or say a phrase like,

a

.

"I

open

to true self's love

and guidance,

for the highest good." 4.

Ask

a question or

want guidance issue,

imagine you are handing true

about.

make

simply

If

Assume

such

down. Or

if

to you, speak

it

the most

little

out loud or write

you choose another creative medium

assume that true If

is

self

dancing, painting, or making music

it.

"What

me right now?"

As any information comes

do

as,

that each breath gently continues to breathe you a

deeper into true 6.

an issue you

can't think of a question or specific

a general request

helpful information for 5.

you

self

self's

information

is

—begin

— such

it

as

that activity, and

flowing through you as you

you do not notice any information, do not worry; just

assume that

it is

too subtle for you to notice yet, and that

it is

supporting and guiding you at a subconscious level 7.

When you sit

or

lie

are ready to bring your true self channeling to a close,

down and relax for a few minutes. Then

stretch

and look

around, and slowly transition to the next activity in your day.

MY STORY

45

9 MEDITATION

TRUE SELF SOUNDING 1.

Sit quietly

and notice your breathing. Every breath

no matter

breath,

how

is

good

a

deep or shallow, and breathes

life-

sustaining oxygen into your body 2.

Assume

that each breath

deeper into true

Even

self.

where your true

self is,

3.

deeper into true

Think or say

a

and guidance, 4.

imagine that your breath has innate

phrase

like, "I

open

sound

to the

of true self's love

sounds come

let

and that true

self's

out.

Assume energy

If

no sound

that every

is

sound

in each

When

sounding to a

you are ready to bring your true

or He

offers is

the

automatically in every

sound you make. Look for the gentle pleasure

sit

a

for the highest good."

playing with sounds.

right sound,

5.

you are not sure exactly what or

self

Open your mouth and itself, start

if

little

know. Each breath gently breathes you

intelligence that docs little

automatically breathing you a

is

self

down and relax for a few minutes. Then

sound

stretch

close,

and look

around, and slowly transition to the next activity in your day.

9 NOTE: The purpose meant

to replace your

take in your

and if you

The

of these meditations

life. If

feel

fact that

own

is

experiential only

and

is

not

good judgment about choices and actions you

information you receive empowers and balances you,

the ring of truth in

you received

it

it,

then

does not

it

may be information

mean

need to do anything differently in your information and do nothing with

it,

that life.

it is

It

to consider.

"right" or that

is

you

okay to receive

especially in the learning stage.

Part

II

INNER GUIDANCE Listening to Spirit Within

INNER GUIDANCE

49

9

Higher Guidance or Inner Guidance? You have

my most

just read the story of

and learning from the

life-changing event: opening to

intuitive guidance of true

was depleting me and heading me toward

that

me and

nourished possible

— but

led

me

into rich,

new

deep down,

for which,

I

self. It

transformed a

a health crisis to

territory

life

one that

had never dreamed

I

had had

unconscious

silent,

longings.

For the

first

decade or more,

I

kept thinking and speaking of this

source of guidance as higher guidance. And, in

was Higher Guidance.

in previous editions

At called

Spirit or spiritual

first,

higher guidance

it

guidance.

The word

anything

I

title of this

time that

I

my

a

me

channeling as channeling I

so

I

higher

was drawing

hierarchy of consciousness, greater than

could access within myself. The thought that

receiving information from "just myself" horrified me!

myself as

chapter

update that term.

implied that the consciousness

me on

from was above

the

guidance seemed separate from

and referred to

higher

It is

fact,

I

I

might be

still

identified

my personality, which indeed would have been a limited source

from which to draw. Yet as

I

dividing line I

continued opening to higher guidance over the years, the I

realized that

all

along.

thought existed between

my

Then

I

true self

there

I

and myself faded. At one point

had been on the

"council" of higher guidance

began seeing that the true

coaching and doing true

From

it

self

self of

everyone

I

had been

channeling for was also on that council.

recognized that the true

self of

everyone on our planet was

part of higher guidance. In time,

I

saw

that divine realms and expansive states of being

beyond our earthly awareness informed the guidance seem inadequate past conscious

understanding.

communication among

was

this point,

all

Yet

I

and much of could

is

that

still

the

My words

beyond

my

medium

of

contributing realms, beings, and states of being

Unity, the very state toward which our

evolving.

tell

it

as well.

own

conscious awareness

is

COMING HOME

50

that

we

all

unlimited spiritual guidance through our true

self,

so

Over the following few years

I

saw

had access to I

drifted

this

away from

the term higher guidance and started saying inner guidance and channeling inner guidance, or true self guidance

and

channeling true

saw

I

self.

true self as our

personal doorway to universal source.

As more time passed,

realized that everyone's true self

I

expansive and unlimited that

it

blends into everyone

without any separation or individuation. In that image, true

doorway to universal

source;

This perception grew as

someone from simply opened

my

my

saw

I

I

that

and

we all

I

and creativity.

saw

my true self,

I

It

is

self

shared the same true

made.

was the source

I

saw

it

their

When

body and

I

looked

at

personality.

perceived their true

merged with the true

self.

Deeper

a state of unlimited, creative intelligence

everything

clients.

self.

As

I

our two true selves merged into one.

Continuing deeper, our shared true others,

love,

worked with

personality,

awareness to

looked deeper,

not a

was universal source itself.

it

of unlimited intelligence,

I

self was

self,

saw true self as one shared beingness

I

As

true

else's

so

is

still,

selves of

true self

became

from which everyone and

as our essence, individually

of creation and the creative material

and

collectively.

itself.

True

self

knew everything because it was everything, including us. Another way to imagine

The top

funnel.

is

small

this is

with the metaphor of an inverted

and represents our personality's limited

awareness while the bottom fans out, representing our true expansive awareness.

If

we

start at the

top and slowly move

self's

down

the

center of the funnel, our awareness expands as the funnel does.

When we be,

we

arrive at the

depth where the bottom of the funnel should

notice that the funnel doesn't end,

far that it

it

simply keeps expanding so

blends with the funnels of people around

us.

Our

true selves

blend into one. Still

we

keep dropping deeper, and soon

we

are

below the place

INNER GUIDANCE

where

the runnels blend.

all

We

any individual boundaries or unlimited true

are in spaciousness that

identity.

There

51

no longer has

one open, expansive,

is

one source of boundless intelligence and

self for all of us:

creativity.

As we go deeper

we

still,

see that true self

beingness that creates and sustains of this beingness.

there

is

As the

all

things and

creator and sustainer of

nothing that true

self

does not

beings.

all

all

Source.

is

It

is

the

We are made

things and

beings,

all

know and cannot do.

True self is not just an aspect of who we arc. of our being, and of ALL being.

It is the totality

To some people choose to

this is a description of

call it Source,

that opens your heart

God

or Spirit. Perhaps you

the Universe, the Beloved, Light, or another term

and reminds you that you

the magnificent scheme of

are a cherished part of

Please feel free to adjust

life.

my terms

to

be in

harmony with yours.

10

How Accessible is Inner Guidance? I

have come to believe that

just as

And

we

all

draw on inner guidance

we draw on the life-giving oxygen in air with each breath we take.

just as

of our breaths are taken unconsciously,

most

communication with inner guidance

is

our lungs and the guidance

most

of our

automatic and goes unnoticed.

Yet, in spite of our lack of conscious awareness, the air real to

continuously,

we receive is

still

we breathe is

real to

still

our intuition.

We are never truly alone, and somewhere deep within, we know this. We can easily become more aware of the inner guidance we draw from so

regularly.

choose from, and

opening to true greater realm.

There are countless techniques and approaches to

many

will be offered in this book.

self will lead

Through true

us there. True

self

urdimited experience to enter our

we

self is

Any

experience of

the entrance into the

open to urdimited being and allow

lives.

COMING HOME

52

11

How Do Inner Guidance and Higher Guidance Relate? As I

I've

had

mentioned,

to

view

it

way to begin trusting it

that

my own being

an inner aspect of

was

believed higher guidance

I

that

outside myself because

— until

increasingly noticed

I

was an exact match

of the "outer"

higher guidance. Focusing on the external source awakened the internal

one

— and gave me the

ability to recognize

guidance dissolved the separation allowing

me

to see inner

I

felt

it.

This blossoming of my inner

from external higher guidance,

and outer guidance

one and the same, a

as

continuum of awareness that is omnipresent. Even

after reading

about

my transition, many people will relate better

to ideas of higher guidance or outer guidance.

concept to be better or worse. Yet, whenever

guidance

we

consider external, and

believe in the unlimited spirit of

we do

it

our own being,

do not perceive one

I

we

because

we

turn to a higher

we do not

experience or

are missing something

wonderful and healing within us.

Turning to a higher guidance in touch

we

believe

with the inner guidance of true

is

external can help us get

— as

self

it

did for me. Using

external guidance can help us reconnect with the aspect of ourselves that

matches

it

— and

then help us learn to use our internal source more

consciously. Yet, repeatedly relying

on external guidance

guidance might not be beneficial in the long run.

imbalance in our addiction

lives,

It

to replace

inner

can create an

with the external guidance becoming one more

we use to avoid and mistrust ourselves.

Higher guidance of a pure nature will not give information that takes us further from ourselves. Instead,

with information that leads us to

With

this guidance,

that see everyone love

we

self-love

and everything, including

recognition of perfection. it

will be unconditionally generous

and natural empowerment.

can learn to face the world with "loving eyes"

and compassion. This loving

matter where

it

ourselves,

with unconditional

sight opens us to an

unwavering

We can surrender to life and follow its flow no

takes us, for both inner and outer realities become

trustworthy when

w e can see with love everywhere. r

INNER GUIDANCE

53

12

Guidance and

Its

Form

Now that we have discussed specific terms for guidance, all

To be

aside for the rest of this chapter.

possible

I

receive through spirit,

them

will put

as inclusive of everyone as

will use the general term spiritual guidance, to simply

we

guidance

I

whether

we

perceive

mean

as inner or

it

outer.

People report wide variations in the forms in which they experience their spiritual guidance. Pure spirit has

no form

form and does not identify with it. Yet

human beings we live in a world

of form.

Our personality is

so identified with

some form before we recognize Language

as

it

as real

it

and

of its

own:

that everything

conscious awareness of spiritual guidance through the

we

beyond

must have

are able to talk about

it.

we

receive

filter

of our

based on form, as are most thoughts. Because

is

personality,

it is

interpret the experience through our individual and

collective needs for form.

For example, spiritual

if

one person's personality

guidance that comes in the form of a wizened old man dressed in

white robes with an ancient-sounding name, that will be.

If

another person's unconscious need

another planet, that

To

more able to open to

feels

is

with a strong personality,

is real,

a sense of

others

a feminine spirit

form may simply experience

The list

of these forms

is

may need

humor, and the

data about events on earth. Yet, someone

None

is for

what the experience from

the form in which guidance will seem to appear.

believe that the guidance

creative inspiration.

is

who is less

to relate to a being

ability to give factual

attached to personal

spiritual guidance as radiant energy or as

of possible variations

is limitless.

any better or worse than another; the form

we

we grow in reflect our new

give spiritual guidance doesn't necessarily matter. In fact, as

consciousness, that form will very likely change to perspectives.

To some

people, an attachment to form might seem limiting, but

simply a reality of our

based in form.

We

human

consciousness.

honor our need

The

for spiritual

it is

personality's reality

growth by opening

is

to

COMING HOME

54

spirit,

and

spiritual it

we honor our personality by doing it

through form. Receiving

guidance through form invites the personality to participate so

can be touched and transformed by the expansive experience. The

refined frequency of spiritual guidance helps the personality

expand

range of perceived reality and integrate greater awareness into daily It is,

personality's needs as

we

and compassionate that

then, both wise

come

to

of us in any

way we

allow

as

are not "evolved"

we

arc

push aside our

enough to be worthy.

and graciously works

in

and generous, willing will never force its

It

it.

through our personality's hmitation, nor will

we

life.

we open spiritually.

Spiritual guidance is unconditionally loving all

don't

its

it

ever pass us

to

way

up because

Spiritual guidance honors us

harmony with both our

limitations

and

our aspirations. Just keep in mind that the form guidance takes reflects

more about the orientation spiritual source itself.

the guidance, and the

Because personality,

it I

is

it

than about the

What matters more than the form is

the essence of

two should not be confused.

filtered

believe

of the person receiving

through the

information

all

gets unintentionally distorted in

we

beliefs

and Umitations

of our

receive from spiritual guidance

some way. Although an individual may

truly be tapping a pure spiritual source, the process of bringing that

information into form

is

like translating material

from an unlimited

language into a limited one. Something always gets lost in the translation.

The material

is first filtered (at

experiences of the individual. needs,

and experiences

of

least slightly)

Then

by the

it is filtered

each person

who

beliefs, needs,

and

again by the beliefs, hears

or

reads

the

information.

Many people are spiritually clear and open, yet even the most aware human beings are still in bodies. Everyone functioning in a physical body has a personality, and even the most enlightened personality carries some filters.

As we continue

to evolve, honing our abilities to bring unlimited

awareness through our personality,

less distortion will appear.

For the

time being, simply be aware that no information credited to spiritual

guidance conveys exactly and completely the truth that

is

intended.

INNER GUIDANCE

How,

then, can you

know

if

55

information you read or hear from

someone will benefit you? By fine tuning your own intuition and hstening to

it.

Intuition

is

the voice of your true

recognize truth and

let

self.

Your true

self will

you know whether information

is

always

relevant for

you.

Someone

expression of spiritual guidance

else's

replace or invalidate your inner truth;

you

feel

it is

an inner reverberation of Oh, yes,

meant

to

is

not meant to

remind you of

that rings true in me! as

it.

If

you hear or

read information from someone's spiritual guidance, follow that ring of truth

in yourself.

No

matter

Let

it

take you to your inner source of truth and guidance.

how much you

trust or respect people (including me), do

not believe anything just because they say guidance, especially

when

it

it.

comes through other people,

the source of greater knowing within you and

You are your greatest guide.

The purpose is

of spiritual

to activate

make you more aware

of

it.

Part

III

9

SELF-LOVE Your Source of Life

13

The Love That You Are Vibrant love

your

in the bones, tissues,

is

the

essence,

No

awareness.

energy

seed

matter

how

and physiology your

for

of your body.

emotions,

common denominator

and

thoughts,

complex, even' element of your internal and

external realities originates entirely from love. This love

the

It is

and

in all things

beings.

all

the

is

life force,

Through

force you are one with everything and everyone in the

this life

world

— and

beyond.

you

Self-love is the experience of the love that brilliant light. Like the

your being, even feeling

sun or

when

it is

a star,

are.

This love

is

a

shines continuously in the core of

it

not seen or

When

felt.

you have bouts of

unworthy, unlovable, resentful, or judgmental, the cloud cover of

your personality has moved in and has blocked your experience of the

But no matter what may prevent you from seeing or feeling the love

light.

that you are, the love

is still

there

— always. As you learn

self-love,

you are

simply learning to see through that cloud cover to the ever-shining light of your true

self.

When you think about loving yourself, you may still be focused in the cloud cover. In trying to

good about

yourself,

T

you may think,

love

am generous, sensitive, and have a loving heart. I care and I am intelligent, and I really do look pretty good, and...."

myself because

about people,

feel

I

Cherishing those

traits in

your personality

valuable, but that

is

is

not

truly self-love. Learning to appreciate certain patterns within the cloud

cover

is

not quite the same as breaking through

What is beneath the cloud cover does it is

love

essence.

itself.

Living with self-love

You can allow the warmth

with you

in your daily life— when

when you

are in pain or

under

how

you

unconditional, meaning that

it is

loved— because

of that light to shine through

you are

stress.

feel or

not need to be

accepting the love that

is

angry, or resentful does not matter.

dependent on

it.

alone,

when you

Whether you The

behave

is

your

and be

are quiet, even

feel joyous, loving,

love that you are

is

not

at the personality level. It is

there and available regardless of any

COMING HOME

60

conditions, including distressing emotions. Its light penetrates of your being,

and you have

it

no matter how you

You never have to

"get over"

your other feelings

If

you are dealing with

through

you are

it,

you can

still

lost in anger;

from behind

it

all

aspects

feel.

any of

to find love

a painful feeling

and cannot seem to move

draw on the healing power

of self-love. Perhaps

you have a shield of defensiveness around you, and

you are shaking your

fists in

pain and rage. Even in the

midst of that intensity, you can allow some of the warmth and the love that you are to seep through, to

fill

vitality of

you alongside the frustration

and hurt.

You do not have

up your

to give

Allow the love that you

feelings.

with your

Then you

feelings.

anger, sadness, despair, or other

are to shine through

are

empowering

and touch you along

yourself:

You

are allowing

your personality to be the vehicle for the unconditional love you are made of.

14

Loving Yourself and Sweet Me

One

variation of self-love

is

self-compassion.

It is

your natural

birthright. Self-compassion is a gentle state because

and

it is

a warrior's state because

To experience

it is

self-compassion, take a

with each of your next three breaths, Sweet Me.

Then do

it

it is

subtle and quiet,

powerful for making

moment

your

state,

life

changes.

to close your eyes,

silently say the following

and

words:

again, this time looking gently for the tiniest,

most

microscopic sensations of sweetness emanating through you. Continue

doing

it

for a

When

few more breaths.

saying Sweet Me, you are not trying to believe or feel that you

are a sweet person

— nothing could be more

irrelevant, for that

would

occur in the personality's conditional beliefs or emotions. Rather, you are

opening your awareness to the constant, unconditional sweetness that

SELF-LOVE

emanates through you always— but which you usually do not

That sweetness

is

always there because

it is

the lore you are

61

notice.

made of.

Self-compassion does not have loud bells and whistles or strong sensations.

It is

tiny

and

subtle. Microscopic.

you might ever

tool for transformation

work even whenyou do not fed

it

if

And

it is

find. It is so

the most powerful

powerful that

you just keep opening to

it

can

it

anyway.

Self-compassion occurs whenever you open to the sweetness within you.

When

you are worried, close your eyes and

fall

into you like leaves drifting to the ground.

Me

settle alongside the sadness.

When

you

emotion

unbalances

us

— not

unbalancing in the emotion

because

words

Sweet

Me

When you are sad, let Sweet

are hurt, frightened or angry,

Me emanate through you while you

let Sweet

the

let

feel that

there

emotion. Intense

anything

is

innately

but because the emotion occurs in an

itself

environment void of self-compassion. Open to the

tiniest

sweetness for

yourself as that emotion occurs, and you will notice a shift toward balance.

You

Our

will begin to feel safer, calmer, and

spirit is

made

of love

more

alive.

and compassion. Sweetness.

open to self-compassion by saying Sweet Me, we open true

self.

within

Self-compassion

us.

it

it.

we dont

unconditional;

is

or create

Our only job

Without self-compassion we ourselves in our efforts to

to Spirit, Source,

the compassion of our spirit emanating

is

That compassion

anything to deserve

When we

is

to let ourselves have

struggle, finding fault

become something

have to do

better.

That

it.

and rejecting self-rejection

hurts us and keeps us from thriving, intensifying our feeling of being separate from the goodness

we

seek.

As we open

to self-compassion,

automatically feel more acceptance of ourselves as

choose to make changes in our personality or lives,

but

how we do it makes With

in the

we

we create changes

that keep us chasingwcll being.

With self-compassion we create changes that increase our well-being.

We

can

still

circumstances of our

a difference.

self-rejection

are.

we

62

COMING HOME

9 MEDITATION Giving Yourself Sweet Me

Sit

1.

comfortably where you will not be disturbed for 10 to 30

minutes. Close your eyes, and notice your breath.

change or control your breath; just notice Like dropping

2.

two pebbles

into a

feel

pond and watching them fall to

Do

Me

into yourself.

You do not

sweet about yourself or think you are deserving; just drop the

words and let them fall into you 3.

to

it.

the bottom, silently drop the words Sweet

need to

You do not need

not try to

in their

own way.

make anything happen

in response to the

words

Sweet Me. Let your awareness rest gently within you.

Notice any thoughts or feelings that present themselves, and

4.

gently drop the Sweet

Me

words

Sweet

Me into

yourself again.

to change your thoughts or feelings;

You

are not intending

you are simply giving

all

your thoughts and feelings Sweet Me as the environment in which they get to exist. 5.

Continue gently giving Sweet Me to every thought or

feeling until

you are ready to close your meditation. 6.

Take

a deep, invigorating breath or two, stretch

your eyes, and slowly return to your

your body, open

activities.

ATTUNEMENT Giving Yourself Sweet Me Quickly

After you

do

become

familiar

a shorter version

when

with the Sweet

Me

Meditation above, you can

needed, with your eyes closed or open

in the middle of a conversation!

If

you

feel distress,

notice

it

— even

and then

SELF-LOVE

silently

drop the words Sweet Me into

yourself. Don't

distress changes or not; you're simply adding Sweet in

which the

distress exists.

Do

this for

63

worry whether the

Me to

the environment

one to three breaths, longer

if

you

wish.

You might

notice a subtle increase in well-being the

attunement

this

—

or, if

you might

subtlety,

your awareness

not.

Either

is

is

first

time you do

not yet sensitive to that level of

fine.

Continue to practice

this

attunement in different situations, with no pressure on yourself results.

With

repetition, your awareness will

become more

for

sensitive to

subtlety and you will feel a gentle increase in well-being during the

attunement.

With even more repetition,

into your daily

Our

that gentle well-being will creep

life.

culture tends to define loving yourself as loving your personality's

"positive"

such as caring, compassion,

traits,

strength, success, attractiveness,

and so on

creativity,

— and

yourself in spite of your personality's "negative"

resentment, dishonesty, insecurity, so on.

It is

is

as feeling love for

traits,

such as anger,

fear, loneliness, neediness, failure,

impossible to maintain that kind of self-love because

nature arbitrary, judgmental, and unstable.

which

intelligence,

conditional:

The

It

and

it is

by

occurs in the personality,

personality's thoughts, feelings,

and judgments

change according to changes in conditions.

A deeper definition of self-love is you

are.

That love

is

simply

the act of opening to the loxe that

unwavering and unconditional.

It

remains urdimited

love regardless of changes in outer conditions or in the personality's

thoughts, feelings, or judgments.

This deeper self-love involves no assessments or judgments of your

(which

personality's traits

and judgments be aware that

of itself).

it is

of self-love, saying

love

I

am made of.

really are only

You simply open

your personality's assessments to the love

radiating through you in that "I I

love myself"

let it

is a

moment. With that kind

variation of

nurture and guide me."

you are made of and

"I

open to the unlimited

COMING HOME

64

To

the degreeyou open to the love that you are,

you open fully

to life

experiences you have

There your

life

come into

the

world to embrace.

no need to assess whether things

is

for

around you and the

you to deserve to love

yourself.

The two

how

deserve to love yourself always, regardless of

doing in

life,

how

are going well

enough

are not related.

in

You

well you seem to be

successful you feel you are or are not, or

how

others

about you.

feel

The essence

of

who you

are is

you assess your life. Your essence vitality of life itself.

that this essence regardless of

is

unchanged by what you do and how unhmited, unconditional love and the

The challenge comes

is

in being able to

indeed what you are made

whether you or other people

regular basis. Yet this essence

is

of,

know and trust

in every

moment,

are able to perceive

it

always there within you, and

important to teach your personality to open to

on a it

is

it.

When

you have the

feeling in a relationship that the other person does not love

you enough or

Use your experiences

love

as mirrors for learning.

you in the way you want to be loved, stop

how you

Do you

love yourself.

for a

moment and

love yourself completely,

look at

without

judgment and without limitation? Are you able to love yourself unconditionally, regardless of

whether you

are everything

to the love that

how

others see you and regardless of

you want to be?

If

not, that's a signal to

open

you are in your essence.

As you experience the pain of not feeling loved by another, know loss

that you are also feeling the

and heartache of not fully lovingy ourself.

In early childhood,

most people

are taught

by family members and

society to stop loving themselves fully, to lose awareness of the love that

they

are. Infants

and small children automatically

They love themselves and human, animal, and

all

beings they

live

from their essence.

come into contact with: those in

spirit forms. Children's receptors are

wide open.

SELF-LOVE

They

receive

beings and love them

all

all

unconditionally; that

65

their

is

natural state.

Yet by the age of two or

so,

many

children have already learned to

stop loving themselves completely and, therefore, have learned to stop

The two go hand

loving others completely. loving oneself

is

way

initial loss of

indeed the greatest pain one can experience.

of the joy of being openly

one

That

in hand.

or another,

and whole-heartedly present

It is

the loss

in the world. In

pain in relationships can be traced to that loss of

all

love for oneself, loss of that open-heartedness and the ability to share

it

with the world.

Each day several times

as

and

you are doing,

"Am I

think, I

you go about your briefly

"Am

ask,

check in with I

loving myself as

a meal, having

I

work?"

yourself. In the

loving myself while

loving myself as

I

drive?"

When you

you may want to stop

activities,

I

When you

this?"

As you

drive,

work, think,

are at

love, ask,

"Am

over and over, the love that you

are.

how It

automatically you

also allows

you to

consciously use each activity as an opportunity to open to greater In one breath you can silently say to yourself,

unconditional love that

You

I

moment?"

This inquiry allows you to begin noticing

love.

"Am

are speaking with someone, eating

an argument, taking a bath, or making

loving myself in this

forget,

do

midst of whatever

I

even

engaged in activity that

open to the

am."

will feel increasing well-being as you learn to

self-love continuously,

"I

self-

is

open to

this

kind of

when— or perhaps especially when —you

are

unpleasant or mundane to you. Being able to

love yourself in this continuous

way

will assist

you in opening to greater

realms of awareness, both within yourself and in the world around you.

15

Letting Love Light Your Life

When your personality is out of touch with self-love, it's as though there is

a

w ar T

going on within you, a discord between yourself and the world,

or a pattern of conflict that keeps surfacing

between you and

others.

Or

COMING HOME

66

you may But

fill.

perpetual emptiness, an inner gap that you can't seem to

feel a

when your

radiates through you

To

envision this,

personality opens to self-love, the

power

of love

and transforms the quality of your life. take an imaginary journey.

let's

9 MEDITATION Letting Love Light Your Life

To

begin, gently allow your awareness to

move

into your heart center,

wherever that seems to be in your chest. Imagine that no matter what tension or restriction you feel in your body, your heart center

and coming to

life.

Imagine that

it is

opening

gently radiating a beautiful vibration

you have never before experienced.

of love that

This vibration of love might be subtle, but essence of

is

life

that

it

it

carries so

has a quiet power and nothing diminishes

matter what else you experience, this deep vibration of love

With each

much

is

of the it.

No

constant.

breath you take, this love becomes brighter and more alive

within you. Give yourself a few moments to receive this

gift of love as it

streams throughout your body.

As you continue it

would be

like

if

to notice this vibration of love, gently imagine

were

this love

to radiate

outward to your auric

what field,

the energy sphere surrounding your body. Your body and the space

around your body would be bathed in

Remember

that this love,

anything you can think, you.

It is

as

continues to

feel,

powerful as fill

life

this love.

however

subtle, is not diminished

say or do. Nothing can take this love from force itself

your body and auric

—because

field

life

with

this

it is life

force

— and

it

no matter what other thoughts

you think or challenges you meet. Imagine what through your

by

it

would

feel like to

go

continuous love streaming through you and

around you.

Now heart,

imagine what

it

would be

your body, and your auric

like

field

if

this love not only filled

your

but radiated outward into your

SELF-LOVE

world

—

67

your house, your workplace, your town, spreading across

filling

the planet. Everything in your world would be bathed with this love.

You can encounter

imagine, then, that everywhere you went, you

love. All

people and

all

places

would be bathed with

would

this love.

Every time you had a conversation with someone, you would see and this love.

And nothing anyone could think, feel,

do would diminish

say, or

powerful vibration.

this

This means that every situation you encountered, no matter or worrisome or painful, if

feel

would always

carry the energy of love with

something should happen to upset you, you would also

love

would be

difference

it

It

So

the

when you

with the happiness. Imagine what

would mean

that nothing in your

you that did not come with

to

carry with center.

would make!

it

come

ever

feel love

sad

it.

feel love;

there alongside the upset feeling. And, of course,

were happy you would

how

love. Ever}

7

life

a

would

experience would

the vibration of the very love that emanates from your heart

What a powerful thought!

And it is a powerful reality. It is already taking place in your life this very moment and will continue to take place every day. It is already real. You simply have not noticed

moments aware of

to focus it.

permeating

on the

Similarly,

all

most

of the time. Before

feeling of love in

of physical reality. filled

The

with

is

of the love that is

love has been there

it.

When you

great joy. This experience need not be rare; the

constant experience of this love

you took these

your heart, you were not so

you have not been aware

and your world have been is a

it

all

do notice

way

simply to open to

along.

this love,

to create a it,

You it

more

moment by

moment. Allow yourself to want are,

and remember that

level

and can

affect the

to experience the radiance of love that you

desire often. That desire takes place at a deep

day-by-day creation of your

life if

you choose to

guide you. The power of such a true desire can assist you in opening your heart and remembering the love that is your source of life. let it

COMING HOME

68

16

Choosing Love Your mighty

ally in

will gladly serve

As you get up for a

you

in the

moment and

today,

I

opening to greater

you

as

start

morning and your

say,

feet

touch the

expanding your

all

floor,

it

ally

direction.

you can pause

"To the depth of my being, more than anything

choose to experience the love that

clear intention,

your intention. This

each day, but you must give

remember that phrase from time

Of

self-love is

else

am." Also choose to

I

to time throughout the day.

With such

experiences of that day will be aligned toward

self-love.

course, calling

on your

ally

does not necessarily

pleasant things will happen to you that day.

It

mean

that only

simply means that

—whether you or not, whether comfortable or uncomfortable — will serve the purpose of bringing you

whatever does happen

like

into greater self-love. Naturally

you will have some experiences

that feel painful or uncomfortable. But

purpose of embodying greater

love,

when you have

even those

is

it

it

difficult

in

life

aligned with the

times will, in the

end, bring you that love.

You hold but

I

am

yourself back

when you

not willing to go through

want pleasant

say, "I

difficult

want more

experiences to get

experiences." That limits you. Love

and to embody complete love of

self

love in

is

my

it. I

life,

only

present everywhere,

you will face a

full

range of

life's

experiences.

Being willing to open to total love means beingwilling to open to

all

of life.

Sometimes growth into love takes place under the

surface,

and you

do not see evidence of it right away. You may not consciously know when an experience, either pleasant or unpleasant, has just opened you to greater love.

It

may

take time as the love works

personality's awareness

its

where you can consciously feel it.

way

into your

New patterns

SELF-LOVE

begin long before you can

feel or see

69

them; you do not have control over

the process of love's emergence.

Have

faith.

trust that the

As you repeat your intention

to

open to

you can

self-love,

work will be done. Your learning will be guided by the very

source of love deep within your being that you are calling into your

life.

You cannot have

and

more trustworthy

a

experience will automatically be love.

In doubtful

moments,

greater self-love,

and

I

may

it

yourself of your commitment:

fertile

"I

Every

guide.

ground

for the

situation

growth

of this

strengthen your trust to remind

want

greater love in

my

life. I

open to

willingly receive the experiences that can bring

it

to me."

17

Loving Others

Loving yourself increases your love of others. You may have been taught to skip loving yourself

and go

straight to loving others, as

"right" or "good" to love others

more than

impossible to be successful at this

effort.

learned or experienced unless there

is

Self-love is the basic pool

When

yourself.

though

Ironically,

it is it

is

Love of others cannot truly be

already love of

you draw from

self.

for all other

forms of

you allow yourself to be bathed with the love that you

love.

are, that

love automatically emanates into the world.

Self-love

is

the source thatgivesyou

the ability to love other people.

Your capacity grows.

When

ability to

for love of others naturally

you know and love

know and love

all

self

you spontaneously gain the

beings around you. So, any difficulty you have

seeing others in their essence seeing your

yourself,

deepens as your love of

is

a reflection of the difficulty

you have

own essence.

When you want to love others more, when you wish your heart could be bigger and your judgments

less

quick or

less harsh,

remember that

COMING HOME

70

what you

want is

You need

being. first

really

to

to be

more

touch with the essence of your

in

open your heart more to

own

Nourish yourself

yourself.

with your love, and that love will grow outward.

When you insist on seeing or loving others more fully than yourself, it is

tremendous

a

strain. It

means that your outer

lived in a

way you

what you

are not giving to yourself.

are not living inside: If

You must keep

you are not loving

giving to others yourself,

tremendous energy to love others, and you must be vigilant that love

is

based on

effort rather

stop trying to love for a

moment

must be

relationships

at

it.

it

takes

Because

than on natural emanation, you cannot or the loving will stop. Sometimes that

loving will collapse despite your best efforts, leaving you exhausted until

you recover enough to rev up the loving Yet is

when you

truly love yourself, love for others follows in a

Then your

continuous, natural, and effortless.

love

is

again.

life is

blessed,

way that and your

the blessing you share with the world.

18

Recognizing True Love

Relationships with other people can be complex. others' intentions. "Is this person honest

close

with

this person?"

interests at heart?" feel at risk for

When others.

It

You

with me?"

me

Is it safe for

"Does this person really love

How can you judge these things

often have to assess

me

or have

accurately?

to be

my best

You may

being fooled, disappointed, or hurt.

self-love is real to you,

becomes

clearer

you are

when others

deceived by

less frequently

are (and are not) operating from a

place of love and honor. Carrying the energy pattern of love within you

enables you to recognize a matching pattern in others. It's

when you

are unfamiliar

be protective. Without

with

self-love

self-love that

you genuinely need to

you do not carry the energy pattern of

true love within your conscious experience, so you don't have a reliable

standard by which to assess other people. In such situations, realize the limitation you are

working with; then turn your focus from others

yourself and open to self-love. Say,

"I

open to deep

self-love

I

know

I

to

can

SELF-LOVE

trust.

open to the love that

I

self-love will

I

am."

Empower

71

yourself. In the long run,

bring you the love you want from others as well as the

ability to recognize

it.

19

Love and Physical Reality Some people pass through

a

phase in their spiritual growth of holding a

negative view of the physical realm, as though

it's

a spiritually

backward

place to be. They, often unconsciously, consider themselves and others spiritually inadequate for being in physical bodies in the physical world.

who would live in the physical world are the spiritually underdeveloped ones who cannot "make it" in the higher realms, those who have not evolved enough to leave the They may

believe that the only beings

physical realm once and for

all

complain that spiritual growth reality itself is

realm

live as

pure

spirit.

They may

also

slow in physical form and that physical

dense and Hmited. In short, they

the physical

feel that

an inferior place to be.

is

This condition

is

a spiritual version of

personality's self -rejection

perspective, however, all

is

and

realms are

no

is

low

self-esteem in

projected into spiritual

reality is better or

is

true

self's

worse than another because

made of and infused with the same pure

Physical reality

beliefs. In

which the

spirit

and life force.

a magnificent reality

in spite of how limited it feels.

Beings of pure light and love choose to incarnate into the physical realm

because

come

it

holds such rich experience and challenge.

When

such beings

into physical form, they open to experiences in the physical realm

for the

purpose of divine growth. That growth

is

about learning to find

love even in the seeming density and limitation that characterize physical reality

and the prevailing consciousness

It is

here.

out of love for yourself that you have chosen to come into

physical form.

And it

is

out of that same love of

self that

you continue to

COMING HOME

72

be here: researching, experiencing, creating, experimenting, and growing.

when you leave the physical that you move on when you are ready. Likewise,

realm,

Whenever you move from one form

it

will be out of love of self

motivation for the leap always comes from love of fuel,

the

power that moves you from one realm to

you are here in physical

reality at all is

enough to make the journey. The

trick

another, the

of reality to self.

Love of

self is

the

another. So the fact that

proof that you loved yourself

now is

to continue loving yourself

while you are here.

The only true injury

in life

occurs by

going through an experience

and not being able

Part of the journey you are

to find the love in

it.

making through physical

reality involves

learning to find love in the midst of every situation, every feeling, and

every belief you encounter. For example, grief or loss

is

an intense, often

unbearable emotion. Yet as you allow yourself to surrender deeply to that feeling, at the core of it

you will come upon a ray of light that

that will be the healer.

You

grief, like

everything,

is

will find that love at the core of grief because

made of love.

Finding that love will not take away the pain.

away the

feeling of grief or loss, but

feeling grief or loss can

Love and substance of love

life.

it

may not even

will transform

it.

At that

and the same. Vibrationally, love

No wonder

it is

You may fear criticism because you

is

life

and the being that you

fear not loving yourself.

anger because you fear not being able to love others.

love

and

your

point,

the very

may fear your is fragile

take

so frightening to be out of touch with

— that means being out of touch with

truly are.

It

no longer deny you the experience of love.

are one

life

and

is love,

elusive, fear arises in

ability to experience the love that

many

you

You

When

forms. But as you increase

are,

and the love that

core of every emotion, you will find less and less in

life

to fear.

is at

the

SELF-LOVE

73

ATTUNEMENT Self-Love #1

Three times a day, stop for one to

you

are. If

you are

sitting, sit

five

minutes to remember the love that

with awareness that you

are opening your

heart to pure love radiating through you. Imagine that love filling you and radiating outward.

While you

are walking, be

aware of that inner

radiance of love with each step. While you are talking with someone,

remember that inner radiance

of love at different times while

speaking and listening. In every circumstance, as this love radiates into your daily

you are

fills

you

it

life.

ATTUNEMENT Self-Love

When

you are in bed

at night

#2

waiting for sleep, imagine that love

emanates from your heart center through your body. just use

them long enough to get in touch with the

of the love that

you

open to the love that

are. I

You might

you use words,

subtle feeling or image

gently speak or think a phrase like

am" or 'The true love and light

of

"I

my being radiates however

slight

may seem. Notice that feeling, letting it grow as it moves you into

sleep.

through me." Allow yourself to receive that love and it

If

light,

COMING HOME

74

VIVIAN Vivian had trouble picturing a future with her in

it.

She thought

it

was

because she had cancer and, even with the treatment she was undergoing,

had been given

a

poor prognosis. But her problem was bigger than just

her uncertain future: Vivian wasn't in her present.

She was physically there, sitting on the couch across from

The

office.

wrapped

scarf

me

my

in

securely to cover her chemotherapy-induced

baldness attested to her vulnerability and struggle. Yet she had lived so

much

of her

herself.

life

for other people's approval that she didn't

me was

Saddest to

unless she

made

know

or trust

that she didn't feel she deserved goodness

other people happy. Her

own

Receiving goodness without sacrificing for

it

happiness eluded her.

— and

feeling joy,

compassion, or quiet well-being just because she existed

self-

—were foreign

ideas to her. I

how

asked Vivian

me

she nurtured herself, and she looked at

blankly. "I'm a perfectionist.

I...I

thing,"

was

suggested, and, to

my

we were on ground she recognized. Boy, do I know about that. I've

felt

just always try to

do the right

the only answer she could find.

"Being perfect surprise, her eyes

is

lit

a recipe for depletion,"

up. Suddenly

"Depletion! Yes, depletion.

depleted as long as familiar, as

I

can remember." She sighed, relaxing into the

though we were talking about one of her friends.

Later in the session for

I

you to want

as

I

asked, "Vivian,

much goodness

if,

by magic,

it

was

for yourself as possible,

totally

okay

what would

you want the most?" She thought a moment, and then words charged out as though they

had been trapped underground and had

just found a passage to

"Freedom. Autonomy. Not looking to others for approval.

Speaking from

my heart

motivated by joy and

want to

and

life. I

My own voice.

soul.

Not being driven by perfection

want

to trust higher good.

I

air.

want

—being

to

live. I

thrive!"

"Wonderful. at every level

And

if

you had

all

that plus total health and well-being

—body, heart, and soul —what would you

call it?"

I

asked.

SELF-LOVE

"Hmmm..," she answered

slowly, her eyes unfocused

directed somewhere behind me. "Radiant health.

75

and dreamy,

Yes, radiant health."

We sat quietly, letting her words settle in the room. As face.

Vivian's eyes shifted

With

back into focus on me, fatigue took over her

a little shrug suggesting futility she

us both, another sigh escaped. Unaware of

might sound, she concluded, "But responsible to give talks about

if I

how

I

assumed was obvious to

how

illogical

comment

her

get radiant health, then

did

it.

You know,

be

I'll

to help

and

inspire other people." Sadly, Vivian did not recognize that recovering from a

disease

— and on top of

even before her

that, gaining radiant health she

illness

accomplishment in

— might

itself,

be

a

threatening

life

had never enjoyed,

profound and well deserved

something purely to

rejoice

about and to

let

other people help her celebrate. In contrast, her conclusion reflected the belief she

my

Her own

office with:

received.

Improvements

improve the

lives

had walked

existence wasn't valuable. She had to give

to her life

and well-being had

to be offset with

and well-being of others. Feeling depleted was a

into

more than

she

more sacrifice

sign she

was on

to

the

right track, living as she should.

Sometimes,

like

Vivian,

we

don't

personality's beliefs of "not deserving" are or

prevent us from receiving the goodness

we

are

how ingrained how automatically

realize

our they

we want. Opening to the love that

and practicing self-compassion nurtures and supports

softening the grip of those beliefs and teaching us

goodness from ourselves, other people, and

Life.

how

us, gently

to receive

COMING HOME

76

CHLOE In

2002

my

bounced into

a tiny, four-legged teacher

Chloe was a

life.

two-month-old Yellow Labrador and Golden Retriever mix

me what

looked

real self-love

She was

like.

my

first

who showed

puppy, and

enthusiastic about teaching her the basics. House-breaking and Sit as well as

first,

Down,

Stay,

and Back (out

of the

was

I

came

cupboard or fridge

— an

commands were fun

early necessity!). She learned fast, thinking all the

games.

Our hours together on the

hill in

the backyard taught

"Take time to stop and eat the flowers." "Walk

values, too.

And "The

carry a big stick.. .or any stick you find."

grass

of her

softly

and

a salad

is really

With that groundwork laid, my biggest lesson was about to come.

bar."

One wall

in

my bedroom

dozen or more times pass

me some

held a

a day, every time

was an opportunity for quick

Animal Planet

who

full

flung out

its

I

length mirror.

entered or

self scrutiny.

walked by

I

left

it

a

the room. Each

Like a frog

I

once saw on

tongue and snatched a bug so

fast

I

my mind flung out tiny lashes of judgment with such speed I couldn't see how they diminished my self esteem. "I look fat." "Bad hair day." "New wrinkles." couldn't see

it

happen until it had been replayed in slow motion,

"Would a face lift Then one day

really

as

the mirror for the

her

little I

be so

politically incorrect?"

Chloe and

first time.

I

left

the bedroom, she noticed herself in

Her reaction was

face a quick lick, right

simple: She paused, gave

on the mirror, and walked

was stunned. With one quick

lick of her

on.

puppy tongue, Chloe had

caused the frog tongue of my mind to be replayed in slow motion. For the time,

first

to help

I

me

saw what look or

it

had been doing.

feel better,

It

had

not

been using

my

mirror

but to reinforce a self-image of "not good

enough." Chloe's herself

puppy mind, on the other hand, had no

self-rejection.

She met

with the same open-hearted love and acceptance she offered to

everyone, unconditionally. For weeks, until her interest

moved on

to

other things, she continued to respond to herself as the love that she

was

—the same love that we

all

are

—with a quick

lick

on the

mirror.

Part IV

JOURNEY INTO FORM The Exploration of Limitation

20

The Journey So Far Your journey into

restricted

by time or limited

which

a unity in

knew

began

in a state of pure spirit

and unlimited

Before coming into physical form, your experience

being.

and

this life

to sequential events.

literally all things

individuality, there

was no

were

You

was not

lived in a fluidity

possible.

Although you

separation between one being and

another or between one thing and another. Everything and everyone was

recognized as expressions of your expansive being.

As unlimited you thought

The very

spirit,

you were

a master of creation.

a thought, the appropriate

instant you

felt a desire,

The very

form to express

that desire (or perhaps

it

instant

manifested.

its fulfillment)

manifested. All your inner experience and refined emotional naturally

manifested for you.

You

lived in a highly creative state.

feeling just a feeling. Every experience

No thought was just was an impulse

Because you were not in a physical body or in physical

were more

And

subtle,

more

fluid

a thought,

no

of creative force. reality, all

forms

than anything physical. Yet they were

real.

because your awareness was not limited by form, you were

conscious at

all levels.

You never

witnessed flowed from your

Can instant

it

be that

all

manifestations,

forgot that the manifestations you

own creative source.

these characteristics— unity, fluidity of time,

malleable form,

all

experienced

as

creative

impulse, unlimited possibilities, multilevel awareness— are also true

about physical

reality?

All the characteristics listed above (and

many more)

are true of the

unlimited realm without any limits applied to them whatsoever. Your experience in that realm took place at a highly refined distant

memory

of

it is

level,

and the deep,

guiding you in this lifetime. For example, you

may

be frustrated in this lifetime that the things you want to manifest in your life

take so long. This slowness in physical reality contrasts with a faint

memory of the tremendous speed of manifesting in the unlimited realm.

80

COMING HOME

In physical reality, you tend to he hypnotized by solid matter.

The way your personality perceives physical solid,

most unbudgeable, seems most

real.

You

reality,

what seems more

and

define

within the constraints you observe and choose to believe

direct your

in.

life

For example,

the things you do and consciously experience stay within the limits of

what you think

possible

is

— which means you don't do or consciously

experience anything you think

impossible. Therefore, impossibility

is

actually the factor that shapes your reality it.

Your belief in impossibility

tells

is

by putting boundaries around

you what the

limits to physical life are

and where you can expect to find them. And you abide by them.

Your personality physical reality.

It

and

impossibility

is

the aspect of your being that has adapted to

forms and carries your beliefs in limitation and

sees to

that you live according to their restrictions.

it

You can be happy, but only

to a point.

You can be magical and

creative,

but only to a point. You can have what you want and need, but only to a point.

You can break through any

basic job

is

barrier in

to control your unlimitedness

life, but....

and act

Your as

personality's

your navigator

through the Hrnited realm of physical form.

Living in physical reality

is

a much denser experience

than living in unlimited spirit

—

until you realize that

even in physical form, unlimited spirit

Unlimited

spirit is the

you have access to unlimitedness

is

it

essence of your being, your true nature, and

whenever you choose to open to

it.

You may

ask, "If

why do I feel limited? Why does much more real than my spirit does? Why can't I

so

live in conscious,

Coming

with you.

so close at hand, then

my personality seem seem to

is

unlimited awareness on a daily basis?"

into this lifetime

from the realm of

was

spirit to the

move from the unlimitedness

a process of adjusting

your awareness

realm of physical form. Whenever you

of spirit into a

new

realm, part of the

adjustment involves acclimating to the prevailing consciousness of the

JOURNEY INTO FORM

new

realm.

lifetime,

As you moved

8

into physical reality at the beginning of this

you took on the cultural consciousness that was predominant

when you came

Because you came into physical form at a time

in.

the prevailing consciousness here

was one

you took on separation and hmitation

You did

this in

two ways:

first

as

of separation

your

when

and Hmitation,

new reality to

explore.

by simply slipping into

a physical

body and then by being receptive to personal and cultural conditioning.

How can moving into a body affect your consciousness? The physical body yet

marvelous instrument.

is a

it is

more than just

vibrations precisely

It

quite literally allows you to be here,

a physical container.

match the vibrations

The body

made

so that

its

of consciousness prevailing

on

the physical plane. This means that your body's job

is

to hold your being's

is

vibration within a range that exactly reflects the vibrational range of

physical reality and the collective physical consciousness.

The body

also exactly

physical earth. take,

matches the vibration, or energy pattern, of the

You absorb energy from the

earth with every step you

and that energy keeps reminding your body your

for holding

spirit's

hands and

in your

focus here.

feet,

of the proper vibration

You have energy

receptors, especially

making contact with the earth and

for

receiving its energy patterns. This energy nurtures your in vibrational synch

From

body and keeps it

with the earth and with physical reality.

the time you were born, your consciousness has also been

bombarded with mental, emotional, and grew up

in

a

culture

information about what

that

experiential conditioning.

You

has imprinted you continuously with

was and was not considered

took in this information you were pressured to adopt reality so

for

you could fit into your family and

it

real here.

as

As you

your operative

society.

For example, most people had the experience of growing up in families in

which they were not seen and honored for

all

of who they truly

were. As infants they were not perceived as expansive beings whose

unhmited

spirits

extended

far

beyond

their

small bodies.

In early

childhood they were not recognized as being completely aware and sensitive to the thoughts, feelings,

and energies moving from person to

82

COMING HOME

person around them. In midchildhood their true

was not seen

self

or

celebrated by the people closest to them. Instead,

most children were viewed through

consciousness from which the family

was

a projection of the

already operating.

Members

of

the family were no longer consciously living from true self and a state of unity. Their experience of true self

and replaced by

and unlimited

a consciousness in the personality

and separation. Having forgotten

had been dulled

spirit

based on limitation

saw

their unity, these individuals

themselves as completely separate from others rather than deeply

connected to them. Having forgotten that they experienced

life

all

things are truly possible,

as a struggle against difficult odds.

So the family related from their personality and projected their

and

personality's reality onto the children, seeing

personalities

who were

relating to

them

as

separate and limited. In response, the

also

They came

children learned to view themselves that way, too.

to

experience themselves as alone, no longer one with others in a deeply spiritual

being.

way and no

longer consciously one with their

They lost touch with

It is

their true

own

urdimited

self.

painful for children to realize (often even in infancy) that they

are not recognized for

who

they truly are and that, to maintain the

connection and intimacy they need from the people around them, they

must

forget their inner truth. Their inner senses tell them,

we must real to my

here to connect with people. For that to happen,

common

reality.

schoolmates,

My

unlimited nature

my teachers,

is

not

and the other people

not appear real to them as

I

truly

am

I

depend

in the fullness of

become whatever they can relate to."

Most children allow themselves molded

to be

to the cultural consciousness

to achieve the

"I

human bonding they need.

have come share

some

my

family,

do

on. Because

I

my

will

spirit,

I

JOURNEY INTO FORM

The

cost to children during this adjustment

that bit

is

year, the rigidity of their personality is reinforced self is

grow

put

older

and have more thoroughly forgotten

bit,

and more of

When

from conscious awareness.

aside, lost

by

year by

their true

these children

their true

self,

they then

play out the other side of that dynamic. They become adults

encourage

unconsciously

the

new

children

put

to

83

aside

who their

unlimitedness. These acculturated adults no longer recognize the essence of unlimited children as real.

Few

parents realize that they do this with their children. Their

experience

is

want

that they love their children and

to connect with

them. They are simply unaware that they already have put themselves aside and are.

They

are

are, therefore,

unaware

missing

much

of the pressure this puts

of

on

who

much

their children

their children and,

through that unconsciousness, they perpetuate the pattern. None of is

done with malice or with conscious

intent, yet

of

it is

this

a chain reaction

that has gone from generation to generation for millennia.

Something unique reaction

is

slowing.

awareness

is

is

happening in the world

The pattern

of passing

at this time.

on an inheritance

The chain

of restricted

transforming into a pattern of passing on expanding

awareness. People are reclaiming their forgotten, yet always unlimited, spiritual essence

from true

self,

by Coming Home

to true

they recognize true

environment in which true

self

As they increasingly

self.

others

in

self

live

and create an

awareness can flourish in everyone's

life.

True self is your link between personality and unlimited awareness.

Your personality has become acclimated accepted in physical reality and accepts

it,

to the limited consciousness

the state of pure spirit that you unwaveringly

merge. Because your true of

your personality,

their union.

it

self is

pure

spirit

embraces both

Unlimited awareness

too.

are. It is

and

realities

is

is

time for the two to

conscious (and loving!)

and holds the space

for

COMING HOME

84

21 Illusion

and Truth

All limitation in physical reality

As long

as

you believe that any limitation

convincing.

It

can look

Limitation

no match

is

you believe in

real, feel real,

it

But as you open to true

as a force that holds

something your personality does on a daily dissolves the

Limitation can be

"fact." real.

as

it

for unlimited being. Limitation is real as long

and interpret

it

and act

you will experience

and gives way.

limitation softens

self,

as

is real,

and will find data to back up that

real

illusion.

is

moment

it is

you back. This

is

However, limitation

basis.

met with unlimitedness. Unhmitedness

frees

limitation.

Noticing your tendency toward limitation can be frustrating. Yet

even

you are frustrated about the limitations in your

if

need to

them. Fighting your limitations

resist or fight

one illusion with a second illusion that you can eliminate the

first

one.

The way

your

life

It is

there

is

is

no

simply engaging

fight,

dominate, or

to regain your true self awareness

experience the unhmitedness of your being attacking your limitations.

is

life,

and to

not to go through your

to allow true self awareness to

come

life

into

alongside those limitations.

Unlimitedness

is

the greater truth Limitation

Greater truth transforms lesser

Unlimitedness

is

is

the lesser truth.

truth.

the truth that brought you into this

truth that maintains your presence in this

go with you as you leave this

life.

life;

and it

is

life; it is

the

the truth that will

Bringing unlimited awareness alongside

an experience of limitation will catalyze transformation. That's why,

when

you're feeling

bad about

yourself,

opening to the love that you are

why opening to love at the core of grief will make the grief tolerable. It's why opening to inner guidance will teach the personality a new way of perceiving the world. will soften the self-judgment.

It's

JOURNEY INTO FORM

85

Because unlimitedness carries greater essential truth than does Umitation, an unlimited experience— such as the unconditional love of true self— has a magnetic-like pull that prompts limitation to restructure.

Prompted by this a pattern that

force, limitation will restructure itself energetically into

more

matches the urdimited experience. Simply

closely

put, Umitation will

accommodate, and ultimately support,

to

shift

urdimitedness as the dominant

As

happens there

this

previously

went

reality.

a

is

merging of energies. The energy that

into maintaining the illusion of limitation, as well as the

energy that went into fighting or resisting that limitation,

support your experience of true

self's

is

then used to

unlimited being.

22 Living a Split

The essence

of spirit

love. All spiritual

feeling is

is

as well.

nature that does not

thought with

There

come through

feel love, for that is

personality's job

AH

unlimited love. All spiritual sight

thought

with love

not always

is

is

is

The

sight

with

love. All spiritual sense or

no experience

love.

is

of a truly spiritual

personality, however, does

not necessarily the personality's job. The

to explore the experience of Umitation.

thoughts, feeUngs, and beUeves that limit you

come from your

personaUty, as do aU perceptions or assumptions that anything

is

impossible. According to your personaUty's perspective, successful Uving

means knowing the

and the world and

limitations of yourself, others,

focusing your creative efforts within those confines. In your personaUty's experience, there are Umits to everything,

including the amount and conditions of love available within yourself, others,

and the world. Because of

your personaUty

is

this apparently

Umited supply of

prone to being separated from love

by the words or actions

of other people. So

it

easily, often

love,

simply

makes judgments, holds

grudges, and harbors resentment. In that state of aUenation from the

urdimited love of true

self, it is

lost in its

own reaUty.

Rest assured that the essence of your being

is

not affected by the

COMING HOME

86

limitations of your personality. Unlimited love, compassion, creativity continue to

your

life,

be your true

state.

From this essence

all

elements of

including your personality, are designed to give your soul the

greatest opportunity for compassionate learning.

learning

wisdom, and

is

your true

Your guide through

this

self.

Why does your guide seem so elusive? Your true self is fully conscious of itself

and of the

your personality

totality of is

your being, including your personality. Yet

not very conscious

personality's reality does not include true

When

your

primary

most

personality's reality

is

conscious awareness

may

self

and

but

spirit,

it

identity

of

self

because your

self.

with

is

true

your

you in your everyday

real to

your

personality, life.

Your

occasionally open to the expansiveness of true

usually snaps back like a rubber

limitation of personality. Because you experience these

separate rather than integrated,

it is

as

band

two

though you are living

to the

realities as

a split.

True self is continuously present. It

communicates withyour personality at all times but speaks in a quiet voice.

Because your personality turned to the physical

world

it is

with denser experiences, so your

you that whatever

tells

most obvious, and has the strongest sensations

that whatever

sensations

is

is

quietest,

least real.

true self to adapt

accustomed to your personality's louder, more

is

obvious voice. Your personality densest,

away from

no longer so consciously attune to the subtlety

of true self frequency. It identifies

conscious awareness

ear

its

most

True

subtle, least noticeable,

self

voice

is like

a faint

is

is

most

loudest,

real

— and

and has the

least

whisper and speaks

through subtlety and refined experience. Usually your personality does not recognize

it.

You may be entering

two seemingly

a

phase in your

life

when your orientation to

separate realities of personality and true self

one of increasing awareness of true

self's

developing the ability to listen to true

is

the

shifting to

presence. In this phase you are

self

and take action based on

its

JOURNEY INTO FORM

guidance. True

87

whispers are heard through your intuition, and

self's

actions you take from this source change your

life.

The personality has become well developed

in the current culture.

This maturity of the personality brings us to the brink of expansion into a

We have gone as far as we can go by identifying so strongly with the personality. We have lived the reality of personality so fully that new identity.

we have completed that In fact, for survival

we

cycle of evolution

must

move on

and

are

now ready to move on.

to greater awareness. Because of its

basis in limitation, the personality has created so

many that

much

distress

and so

survival crises, at the global level as well as in our individual lives,

we must make

the shift to true

self

awareness to realize solutions.

We need to draw from a more expanded and creative perspective to meet our challenges. This its

is

no accident. Whenever

a collective consciousness

"study" of a particular level of awareness,

balance.

This

it

finds itself

motivation for breaking through into the next explored.

The natural

identified

with personality

state of

somewhat

be

level of reality to

imbalance brought on by having so

now

off-

momentum and

natural and guarantees a built-in

is

completes

pushes us forward into

a

new

fully

identity,

and individually.

collectively

This identity comprises a merging of the two identities ricocheting between.

As

this

merging progresses,

we have been

we will feel less and less

forced to choose between Umitation and unlimitedness; they wall no longer be like

oil

and water, but together will become

a

new substance.

In this process neither reality wins over the other, and neither reality loses

any of

its characteristics.

Personality simply opens to true

self,

and

they become integrated.

Many people

still

think that being on a spiritual path means fighting

the personality and that enlightenment means defeating the personality

once and for But in truth, for a

all,

as thought spirit is

spirit

somehow

set free in that 'Victory."

has never been imprisoned by the personality, not even

moment. (Unlimitedness

is

never limited by limitation.) Spirit has

only loved the personality, endlessly bathing it— as

and everything— in the love and light

it

of unlimitedness.

bathes everyone

COMING HOME

88

Ifyou

want

to be enlightened, be just that: in light

Shine the light of love and acceptance into every part ofyour being, as you already are.

Cherish your personality. You do not always have to identify with

by

or be restricted

your creative

its

limited awareness, but honor

an expression of

as

Your personality has done an excellent job

life force.

showing you the

it

and

reality of limitation

is

worthy

it

of your love

of

and

acceptance.

Cherishing your personality might be

You might think

controls you.

personality

by defeating

that

The truth with

it.

That

you

feel that it

only you could get rid of your

if

or walling yourself off from

it

free to soar the spiritual heights personality that

difficult if

you long

for.

you would be

it,

But ironically

it is

your

thinks that! that your personality does not control you; you identify

is

an important distinction to make. As you grew up you

is

forgot true self to the degree needed to

By that process, you chose dominant reality.

It

was

The reason why

choice.

And it is

is

what

still

life

choice.

important

will appear

your personality's reality real in your

with the people around you.

with your personality as the

to identify

this distinction is so

choose to identify with

in

fit

most

is

that whatever you

real to you.

by choosing

it.

If

You make

you choose to

keep identifying with personality, limitation and separation will continue to be the building materials of

There

is

is

situations

and experiences

in your

life.

nothing wrong with identifying with personality.

genuinely a fine limitation

all

way

as

to

live.

divine

as

Personality

is

as divine as true

urdimitedness.

however,

If,

It

is

self,

and

you

are

uncomfortable with the confines of limitation and find yourself yearning for

more expansive experiences, you can choose

unlimitedness as well. identify in

the

It

doesn't have to be "either/or."

with unlimitedness greater

transformation on

truth its

own.

in addition to

alongside

the

limitation. lesser

to

identify

with

You can choose

to

Remember, bringing

truth

will

catalyze

JOURNEY INTO FORM

Choosing what you identify with

is

done over and over every day.

Each issue you face brings you the opportunity to make sincere choice to

open to true

Everything in this book

You can use

life.

purposeful

this

book

89

a conscious

and

self.

about inviting true

is

as a

manual

self to

be

real in

your

reminding yourself to be

for

— and creative— about directing your intention and choosing

your reality.

23

Choosing Your Reality The new

reality

merging of unlimitedness and limitation,

the

is

What will it mean The way to find out is

formlessness and form, in your awareness.

for

personally? For the planet as a whole?

to keep

living

and paying

you

attention.

All people are preparing, consciously or unconsciously, for dramatic

changes in their

lives.

For some the change may come slowly and for

others quickly, but for everyone

it is

dramatic change.

No one is

change because the entire consciousness of the planet

this

is

free

from

making the

shift.

Your consciousness

As your consciousness experiences in your

life

is

manifested externally inyour

shifts,

the

about at the personality life

level.

is

and

something you have no choice

Your true

self is

already guiding you

changes that come with this expansion and growth.

Your challenge during these changes intuitively to a

manifestations

that were created from your old consciousness

will restructure to reflect the shift. This

through the

external

life.

more

is

to allow yourself to shift

refined level of experience, including

more

refined

sight and hearing, and more expansive perceptions of the world around

you.

Then you

will be in synch with the change.

To the degree

that your personality resists your transformation, you

will have difficulty. Understand that there

is

nothing wrong with this

COMING HOME

90

resistance; resistance is part of the personality's expression.

need to fear your necessarily

difficulties;

mean you

inner struggle.

You do not

they will not defeat you, and they do not

They

are off track.

Use those reflections

are simply reflections of your

as reminders to

be patient and caring

with yourself. Just as there

is

no value

no value in fighting the

in fighting the illusion of Hmitation, there is

personality's resistance.

You

can, however, benefit

by allowing your personality its struggle and by extending compassion to it.

self

and

and true

self

Alongside personality's struggle, open your awareness to true

the love that you together, side

by

are.

You can be aware

of your personality

side.

In other words, live the split.

Allow yourself to be aware and

accepting of both the limited and unlimited aspects of your being.

Recognize personality's familiar thoughts and being. Notice its fears reality.

From

feelings, its old

ways

of

and resistance to your movement into the new

there, gently

open to true

self

by sensing

its love,

guidance,

expansive sight, and urdimited being.

At times you will be

aware that you have conscious

particularly

choice about whether to identify with and act from your personality or true

self.

Experiment with choosing true

Each timcyou

let

may

still

self.

be conscious about

situations.

to live in unlimitedness.

when you do not seem to be quite ready or You may catch yourself automatically operating

from the habituated responses and

are doing; staying

can.

be times

able to act from true

too. Just

whenever you

true sclfguidcyour actions,

you strengthen your ability

There

self

it.

beliefs of personality.

That

is all right,

Be honest with yourself about what you

aware allows new growth to come to you

Then acknowledge

that true self

compassionately waiting for the time

is

there,

when you can

in those

patiently and

allow

it

to be of

greater service.

The

transition from personality to true self

is

progressive rather

than sudden, a weave rather than a sharp cut. Don't worry

if

your growth

JOURNEY INTO FORM

doesn't

open

seem

to true

fast

self.

9

enough. You will have innumerable opportunities to

You

are supported in this process

more than you know.

24

Emanations of Light You

are connected at a deeply spiritual level to

desire for spiritual growth.

You

all

fact,

of your being,

all

share your

who

assist

you in your

you are recognized, loved, and supported, in the

by an unlimited number

moment. These beings source of

who

are also .connected to a vast collective of

very wise and loving, nonphysical spirit beings

growth. In

people

life.

of beings of light

and love

are in a state of absolute alignment

They have no

limit in their access to

totality

in every

with the

expanded

consciousness and no limit in their ability to radiate that consciousness to others.

When

beings

are

in

automatically available to fully aligned beings

never

this all

state

who

of

aspire to

tire of giving.

alignment,

their

energy

is

umimited awareness. These

Giving

is

their joy, their natural

ability.

Just as water experiences no effort or fatigue inflowing,

pure spirit does not

tire from giving to you.

These beings completely support you in your

and

are

continuously

emanating waves of

spiritual transformation

light

to

the

collective

consciousness of our planet. These waves of light carry energy patterns that exactly

match the energy patterns

recognizes this energy and receives

it,

of your true

self.

Your true

self

reminding your whole being of

your unhmited nature.

You accept

these emanations by choice. People

who genuinely are not

interested in remembering the unlimitedness of their being in this lifetime will ignore these

go about living their

waves

lives in

of light

and not receive them. They will

whatever other ways they have

set

up for

COMING HOME

92

However, most people

their greatest growth.

interested in standing

that your

waving your arms

here!

I'll

take more

light!

Over

is

with

it

a

receiving pull

When that wave is received, it

and so

wave

of light

Because each wave must be

your

for the person

fully received before it exerts a

release, the

ability to assimilate the light into

then

waves of light, each bringing

more accelerated and expansive consciousness

on the next wave to be

is

it

also generates a pull for the next

on. This creates a natural flow of

it.

spiritual

group consciousness,

of light is received within the

generates a pull on the source so that the next

one,

Your

here!"

shared by countless others.

As each wave

released.

quite

own longing for expanded awareness is

so strong that not only are you standing up, but you are

enthusiasm

level,

up and receiving these emanations.

You may even sense

and shouting, "Over

deep

are, at a

flow can never out-pace your

life.

The flow

is

in

harmony with

you and cannot stimulate growth too quickly or too slowly. In every life,

where

truly are.

moment

it

the love of true self emanates through you into your

creates experiences that remind your personality

Your

beliefs, as

well as situations in your

When

created by identifying with your personality. identify

with those

beliefs

and

life,

who you

may have been

you continue to

situations, usually unconsciously, they

act like mental or emotional blocks that

keep you

can

feeling stuck or unable

to live your true potential.

As you

activate those blocks

When

you will

are ready, the love of true self streaming through

more intensely

you don't understand what

can seem more powerful than experience and

to prepare

is

them

for transformation.

happening, those activated blocks

ever.

Yet,

you allow yourself to

as

move through the blocks, opening

to true self

and the love

that you are, they will be transformed into energy that ultimately

supports you in living from true

self.

This inner transformation will bring change into your outer life to the

who you

thought

you should be or on other people's images of you, rather than on

who you

degree that you need

truly are, your

whole

If

it.

life

true self to set you free.

you have based your

life

on

will change in a sequence orchestrated

You

will be

prompted

to

by your

make new changes

that

JOURNEY INTO FORM

reflect

your true nature. Although the changes can be

difficult, painful,

frightening at times, they lead to your greater fulfillment.

open to your true

self

life

it

may seem

self's

of self

(or all) of the

and the world.

the

all

From

changes you

true

self,

That

is

this

it

— and your

time reflecting

life

who you

true

self's

have an

still

unwavering source of love and well-being within you that any time you open to

and

may be that there is nothing

as real loss or real failure.

underlying

perspective,

some

of fear, loss, despair, helplessness,

perspective, however,

wrong and no such thing greater

to you that

and your basic view

Your personality may have feelings Your true

The more you

are collapsing, or at least shaking: your work, your

relationship, your friendships,

failure.

or

guidance, the clearer that orchestration will be.

During these changes structures in your

93

is

accessible

will be reconstructed

from your

are instead of

who you

are not.

the stability beneath the change.

When you have a life that is based on who you truly are, no amount of change can shakeyou,

and no amount of uncertainty can cause instability.

Your

stability is

no longer based on holding onto

life

in static

form

and trying to keep change from occurring. Instead you have the greater strength of being able to live from your true

self

changing around you and within you. Throughout

no matter what

this transition, all

is

your

thoughts, feelings, and actions that carry intent toward greater spiritual

growth

are instantly supported

support whenever you desire

Do

assistance

Every is

growth goes

You can draw upon

this

in your desire for support

and

spirit.

it.

power

not underestimate the

assistance.

by

request from the heart

When

always given. Always. out, beings of light

and

love,

of all existence automatically respond

and

received instantly and

is

a

genuine plea for greater

your true

self,

and the essence

assist.

Assistance and guidance are given to you through the experiences of

your

life.

come in

Assistance

may come

in

ways you request or

altogether different ways, through

expect.

a set of experiences

Or

it

may

you would

94

COMING HOME

not have thought to ask

for.

You can never know

timing) the assistance will take, but

what

it

for sure

what forms

(or

always will arrive according to

serves your greater purpose.

Keep

in

mind

that in reaching "outward" to spirit for assistance, you

and automatically, reaching inward to the unlimited

are also, naturally spirit of

your

own

you ask

being. In this way, as

you simultaneously align with your true

self.

for spirit's assistance,

The source

of your

assistance only appears to be external.

Outer spirit guidance serves as trainingwheels for your awareness. Your

own unlimited being is

the truevehicle that propelsyou forward.

The miracle becomes more

is

that

real to

the same essence as

when you open to

self,

your personality. Your true

all

things and

connectedness by being One self,

true

is

all

your unlimited nature

self is

beings, earthly

aware that

it is

of

and otherwise. That

unity consciousness. As you open to true

that state of unity emerges into your conscious awareness, and you

experience your oneness with everyone and everything in the world

around you People

— and beyond. whom you previously had seen as

adversaries are

now

seen at

the unity level as companions. Previously overwhelming difficulties

seem to be simply ways

of receiving the vitality of

life.

now

All opposition,

judgment, and separation dissolve into one shared, unlimited essence.

When

your

conscious

connectedness to

all

and no one that

is

awareness

things and

not you.

all

is

beings

And making

simple as making a change in yourself.

9

rooted is

a

in

real to you.

true

There

self,

is

your

nothing

change in your world

is as

JOURNEY INTO FORM

95

MARJORIE "Deep, unresolved grief has been in

my family as long as

Marjorie reveals to the true

self class,

the message that everything

is

of the world.

world

"and depression.

sorrow, but you cover

it

I

I

can remember,"

was

raised with

up with fear

—

fear

Something bad was always expected to happen. Instead of a

of 'goodness',

I

was

raised in a

world

of fear of badness'. Badness

was the norm." Her voice sounds

resigned, as though used to carrying the weight of

her past alone. Marjorie continues,

"My

brother tended to be angry so

took the role of peace maker, but underneath unfulfilled. Since

pleaser, the

good

childhood girl,

I've

the one

really felt sad, angry,

always been the one

who

tries to

everyone other than myself, of course. I've

I

who

I

and

placates, the

keep everyone feeling okay

Who am has gotten lost. To cope, I

learned to retreat." Marjorie' s energy

is

low, but her authenticity

is

riveting. Usually

timid and reluctant to talk "too much", say anything "too depressing", or

up

take

know

"too

the

much time",

full

she has a history of holding back, not letting us

degree of her suffering.

deeply about herself is a

gift.

Now, her

talking so freely

and

We listen carefully as she continues.

my family but no joy. Now, as an adult, even after years of therapy, there's no joy in my life. I don't remember ever having joy find it hard to think of or what it might feel like. In fact, right now "There

was

love in

I

anything that brings

me joy."

She pauses, and then confesses, depression, and no joy for

fear,

my

"I've

created a similar household of

son. I'm afraid I'm passing

him. That's heart breaking for me." This background Marjorie's brother, from

whom

is

it all

on to

emerging because

she has kept distant, caught her by

surprise in a conversation yesterday, verbally lashing out with judgments

and accusations she feels she

"My body.

I

things unjust.

I

didn't deserve.

brother's anger startled me," Marjorie goes on, "and jolted

my

felt hurt, sorrow, and blamed by him. His accusations about had supposedly said and done years ago seemed distorted and

COMING HOME

96

"Yet

anyone

me up

I

did what

who

else

me

—

I

I

absorbing

it in,

took the blame. His treatment of

automatically blamed myself anyway.

I

to him, outwardly or within myself.

and I took

my family, and with

always do in that situation with

gets upset with

but

felt unfair,

I

it

I

felt his

I

didn't stand

anger coming toward me,

and feeling awful."

ask Marjorie what she wants to

instead of awful. "Safety," she

feel

begins.

"Before you continue,"

I

interject, "let's

mention that every time you name a instantly finds that feeling

you, in true

self. It

"As you

consciously receive self

each

you want,

safety.

it's

filling

some

silent

and nurturing you. The

very subtle, even microscopic, because That's okay. Receive

it

and enjoy

it's

time so you can rising

from true

feeling

might be

coming from deep within you.

no matter

it,

within

easy to overlook.

feeling, give yourself

through that tap root,

to

a tap root of energy

Assume the feeling you've named is

it.

want

I

already exists unconditionally

it

happens so subtly that

me

tell

where

feeling

pause with

how

subtle or tiny the

sensation.

with

"Start again

safety,

and

you

after

feel

the safety for awhile, do the

same with the other feelings you want." Marjorie closes her eyes and slowly repeats, "Safety." She takes a deep breath, releases

it,

and is quiet

as she

opens inwardly to

After several moments, Marjorie "Joy."

Her breathing slows

joy, the joy she

names the next

safety.

feeling she wants,

as she waits for the tiny, delicate vibrations of

thought she didn't have, to gently fill

her.

Next Marjorie quietly announces, "Strength." Her posture adjusts curled shoulders roll back and her spine lengthens slightly upward, like a plant greeting morning light. "Creativity." Marjorie's voice is

awakening within it.

"And my true sentences breaks

toward myself. around me.

I

I

I

want

and preferences."

wait during her

spirituality."

free,

want

still

"I

want

quiet,

but a

new

vibrancy

silence.

After just a brief pause, a burst of to be comforting

and compassionate

to allow myself to discover the goodness in

to feel that

it's

is

okay

for

me to

discover

me and

my own desires

JOURNEY INTO FORM

Often

when we

say

it— and

can't

don't have

responds by trying to

more than we think

we want have

it.

something,

We

we

are reinforcing our lack.

If

someone

how we can have it, or that we already have it we do, we argue or try to convince them they are tell

us

remain fascinated with our

position, Yet,

door to

becoming more

what Marjorie is

As long

as

we

receptivity,

feeling each of her phrases as

and

I

and beckoning

receptive,

it

having,

hold that

of opening a

into our

life.

That's

doing.

To deepen her

closed,

not having.

we are not receptive to the goodness we want. other times, we say we want something as a way

it,

we

are really saying that

mistaken. Ironically, while the other person shows interest in our

we

97

I

suggest that she

I

them back

say

let herself

to her. She nods, eyes

and compassionate toward

begin, "Comforting

pause, giving her time to receive her true

sink into

self's

still

myself."

I

deep, subtle feelings of

comfort and self-compassion as they rise to her awareness.

When she nods that she has been feeling them, in

me and around

When

me."

I

she nods again,

I

continue, "Goodness

wait, enjoying the openness I

add her

final phrase,

I

sense in Marjorie.

"My own

desires

and

preferences."

Until now,

all

these qualities Marjorie wants have been present deep

within her, unnoticed. The

way

fish idling at the

bottom

of a rushing

mountain stream go unseen by someone standing on the bank, Marjorie's personality couldn't see through rejection to the calmer,

constant rush of distress and

its

abundant depths of true

self.

Today she

is

self

calming

the water and peering under the surface.

When

Marjorie nods that she

is

ready,

I

continue,

"I

want you

to

imagine something with me. Imagine that the substance that makes everything, even words,

is

nurturing

meaning, are made of nurturing of

it.

life

life force. All

words, no matter their

force and, therefore, are little carriers

With this image, let's revisit your conversation with your brother.

"Yesterday your ears heard a string of hurtful and unfair words, but right life

now let's

force

see those

words

coming through the

meaning of the words, using

as a string of tiny formations of nurturing air to you.

them

Your brother

to criticize

related to the

and blame you. But now

COMING HOME

98

you're relating to the

words

purpose of the words

is

At the true

in a deeper way.

to carry nurturing

life

the real

self level,

force to you.

That

is

the

purpose of everything.

"With each words. As each

breath, take in the nurturing

word

no matter

arrives,

force gives itself to you, helping I

When

its

nurturing

life

yourself."

sense she

I

word makes you

add, "Each

and more trusting

yourself,

before

I

force carried in the

meaning,

you to be kinder to

pause to give Marjorie time.

speak again,

its

life

is

me

ready for

to

kinder and sweeter to

feel

of your goodness, than the

word

that arrived

it."

Marjorie continues

words transform from

silently, letting yesterday's

harmful to healing. Then, with a long exhale, she volunteers,

"I

feel

stronger about myself."

Her chest expands with

and she says slowly,

a fresh intake of air,

the awareness awakens within her, "This feels like pure being. simple, easy state. I'm just being. Nothing's causing

natural state of being." She

A

few moments

fundamental, primal. with.

It's

to defining

who

was the

I

can

it

tell

that

you can

here talking to

I

want

have

it," I

want

pure being state

this original, safe,

now, not externals

"It's

into the world

personality got formed.

it,

It

to nurture

that this pure being

it,

not cover

it

"I

up any

can

"and

it is

you.

Now, while

still

you're

in your pure being state, think of the world. Tell state

like I'm starting all over as

remain strong,

my

came

me with calm certainty,

agree,

what it is like to be in your pure being "I feel

of

I

elaborates,

state. It's me."

still

me

my

to age one or two, prior

and know, by feeling

more." She opens her eyes and looks at

"Yes,

had it up

I

much

Now

started with.

have this pure being

just

it's

state!

uncover

a relief to

state

I

she

closed,

still

the formless state

was, before so

I

was my original feeling "It's

eyes

feel this is

just pure being.

—

a

quiet again.

is

later,

I

it

It's

as

and creative

like other

an

and think of the world." infant," Marjorie answers. "I

— the state

for me.

I

me

want

I

began

it

to define

this life

people and circumstances."

with

— to

me and my life

JOURNEY INTO FORM

Marjorie and

choice in her daily doesn't

make me feel

how

talk about

I

life,

as

she might support this important

and she comes up with

good about myself

original pure being state,

I

won't take

it

99

as whole

a standard: If something

and as

as an imprint or let

it

safe in the world, as this

define me.

Q The next day I've

got to

tell

state.

phone

from Marjorie.

call

you what happened to me today.

that yesterday, a

being

get a

I

few hours

after class,

I

First,

I

meditated on

know

amazed. Amazed.

have to mention

my

original,

that for the past three years

down

awful about a situation in which

I

me

to her office a

do

am

pure

Then this morning I woke up feeling connected with it.

"Second, you have to

to

"I

a project that

beginning, but then

my

me

took

really let

client's office

a client.

All

lot.

I

have

felt

She had hired

was good

in the

manager started being rude to me.

my work and my positive know how to stand up for myself or

His rudeness escalated into undermining relationship with

my client.

handle the situation.

manager Instead

I

until finally

I

didn't

became more and more intimidated by the

I

I

couldn't muster the courage to go back there.

retreated, procrastinating so long that

Without even

telling

didn't finish the job. I

just faded away.

before, so

I

I

felt terrible

how I handled this situation. months,

"Finally, after several

to the client, but client's office,

ruin

I

my client or giving her a reason,

had always been responsible and professional about

office

I

returned to the company to apologize

never got to say a word. As soon as

I

she snapped at me, 'Don't say

anything.

I

I

walked into the

don't

want you

to

my day. Just get out!'

"Even though

mean.

I

didn't

I

had been

weak and

continued to

wrong,

know how to respond,

to diffuse the conflict. feeling

in the

took in

I

all

so

I

I

also

around town. Seeing her was

hadn't expected her to be so

didn't speak

up

for myself or try

me and left inside me and

her bad feeling about

awful. For three years

feel awful.

I

became

I

let it all fester

afraid of

my worst fear.

running into that client

COMING HOME

100

"Well, today store, there she

it

happened. As

I

came around an

was. Her back was to

me

"At

first

was

I

scared, so

then some peace, decided that

if

so

I

I

felt

chose to put

I

did

— and even

she

if

instantly

genuine, and

me

no longer works

I

that she

differently over time, even

it

my

body.

in another aisle or in

me

—

I

would respond

bigger than the conflict,

there.'

all

'How

smiles,

was happy

had come

making

woman

rolled her cart next to

Her

nice to see you!'

to see her, too. Right

to understand the situation

a point to say,

She had extended

'And that

a bridge

manager

office

between

us, so

I

with her.

apologized for not finishing the job, and

we talked easily,

resolving

the old issue and confirming our good feelings about each other. As

"It felt like a

miracle to me.

had dreaded

we

opened her arms, and we hugged.

said our Goodbyes, she

I

I

my pure being in charge.

warmth was

stepped onto

to

My pure being felt

was

meeting

me

calmer right away, and

felt

was mean

mine. She said, 'Hello!' and

told

I

come upon each other

"Sure enough, a few minutes later the

"I

she might spot

took a few breaths to center myself into the

I

yesterday in class.

state of pure being.

away she

knew

balance, and well-being spread through

she and

the checkout line

my

I

else in the store.

state of pure being

from

grocery

as she talked to a clerk in the

produce section. She didn't see me, but

somewhere

aisle in the

believe

I

it

was no coincidence

for three years occurred the

day

after

I

that the

discovered

my state of pure being. What an amazing synchronicity! For three years I suffered because my personality didn't know how to handle that situation. Then as soon as found my pure being, the part of myself that 7

I

could

handle the situation, the opportunity manifested.

"And I'm proud

of myself.

I

used that opportunity by dropping into

my pure being and choosing to face my client and our unfinished business from that place in myself. In my pure being, there was no conflict, no shame, and no emotion

—just different kinds of well-being.

stay in that well-being no matter

what happened, even

mad and wanted

was rooted

to

chew me

out.

situation manifested well-being."

I

in

if

I

decided to

she

was

my well-being,

still

and the

PartV

9

CREATING YOUR WORLD Abundance and Manifesting

25

Longing for Abundance Abundance

is

rich fulfillment

Satisfying the longing for

and prosperity

areas of your

all

life.

abundance begins by compassionately hearing

your personality's long-muffled

opening your heart to a

in

cries for greater self-love.

level of inner

It

requires

need you may have ignored since

childhood.

Being without self-love creates an inner barrenness, which manifests circumstances of lack in your outer Me.

cannot have love of

and loving

all

who

of

I

your inner experience

If

cannot have the inner richness of

self; I

may be

am," then the outer experience

have the richness of what

I

want most

To not

heal this

mean being

empty

"I

being

cannot

in external reality, either." So

are likely to manifest recurring situations of not having

love or friendship or whatever

fully

is "I

you

enough money or

would bring a greater richness

to your

life.

you must look within. Looking within does

spot,

critical or coldly tracking

down your

heal. Instead gently turn

them, for harshness does not

and look with tenderness and compassion

to see

flaws to get rid of

on an inner

how you

light,

can love

yourself more.

Pretend for a

moment

that a small child

whom you deeply love comes

running to you, crying, and climbs onto your can see right away that this

child's

does not believe that she or he

Would you Instead,

beauty.

what

is really

is

lovable.

And pretend

that you

self-esteem, that this child

What would you do?

scold this child for lacking self-love? Certainly not.

you would hold

forgotten

problem

lap.

a

You have

this child close

wonderful being you

and are.

say, "I see that

you have

You have forgotten your

forgotten your vitality, your magic, your lovability.

I

you, to teach you, to remind you.

I

my love for who you who you truly are, and

allow

are to

see

I

fill

love you.

I

hold you in this love so you can

remember to love and treasure yourself."

Do the same for yourself. Be willing to hold yourself on your lap,

so to

speak, and look into the being that you are with that same love and

compassion. Simply see where you have forgotten your

own magic, where

COMING HOME

104

you have forgotten the love that you are and the beauty you carry within.

Then make

a

commitment

to rediscover

it

in

some way each

day.

26 Receiving Abundance

Abundance

a given in

is

your

life,

but you

removed from abundance and assume

it

may

know

not

exists

it.

You may

somewhere "out

feel

there,"

perhaps for other people, perhaps as something you are trying to create or attain,

something you are trying to break through

You cannot love of

life.

abundance

of,

Abundance

Always. The trick you.

is

is

to

open to

it,

Abundance is not something is

same

is

its light

know

to get;

that

it is

and around you it fills

already.

you, and let

something to

it

guide

receive.

unconditionally present and available to

When you want the sun, you

simply step into

an ever-present, unconditional quality

radiating through you

is

Like the sun, abundance all.

break through to abundance. Like the

create, attain, or

you are made

to.

do not try to create

it

or control

and warmth and allow yourself to

true of abundance. Until

now you may

feel

it.

You

it.

The

have spent your time

standing in the shade, looking around and wondering, "Where's the

abundance?

should be here by now. I'm working hard for

It

it;

where

is

it?" It

may be

time to take some steps out of the shade and into the light

where you can receive the abundance you have been longing for.

9 ATTUNEMENT Receiving Abundance

1.

Want.

Allow yourself to

feel

your desire

fully.

You may

feel

defeated at the

prospect of feeling your desire without knowing for sure that fulfilled. If

your response to that feeling of defeat

is

it

will be

to stop wanting,

you

CREATING YOUR WORLD

also are stopping the energy to create fulfillment.

1

05

You can proceed no

further without reclaiming this vital energy of wanting. Fully allow

all

your true desires to come forward, regardless of whether they seem

be fulfilled.

feasible or likely to

There to

is

a correlation

want and the degree

between the degree

to

which you allow

to

which you allow yourself

yourself to have.

honestly allow the desire to grow as large as the desire

grow, you are more likely to allow the manifestation of

When you open

the channel of creativity on the wanting end,

it

will

When you

itself

wants to

its fulfillment.

open naturally at

the manifesting end as well.

Feel

2.

When

desires begin to be felt fully, other feelings

Allow yourself to

want

them. Sometimes

feel

this for myself,

it

may

surface, too.

will be sadness or despair.

and wanting makes me

feel

sad for

all

the times

"I I

my life, of what I have been missing for so long." "It feels futile. I don't know how to get what I want, and I probably can't have it anyway." There may also be anger. "Why didn't I let myself have this sooner? I am so angry to have lived my life in this way!" Or "It's someone else's fault that I didn't get my needs met. I'm angry that they kept me from getting the goodness I wanted!" It is have not had

it." I

feel

barrenness in

important that you allow such feelings

be

felt

— and others — to come forward to

and expressed. Give them compassion

(Note: Enlist the help of a

you need one. This

is

safely, or if you're

good support person, or even

especially important

might overwhelm you,

if

as they reveal themselves.

they might be

if

a therapist,

if

your feelings frighten you or

difficult to

contain or to express

tempted to take negative action toward yourself or

another person. The use of feelings in this exercise

is

extreme or to be disruptive to you or to someone

not meant to be else.

Take good,

compassionate emotional care of yourself, which includes reaching out for help

and support when you need it.)

COMING HOME

106

Move.

3.

move with these feelings. Most emotion comes with an

Let your body

impulse to move, even

if it's

just facial expressions or

walking in a particular way: perhaps dragging your skipping.

the impulse

If

you need to, but allow your body

if

What

is

important here

is

healthy way. The physical body

letting

the

is

its

is

stomping, or

sad, frustrated, or

expression.

your feelings move through in a

home

of emotions;

All emotions have physical, chemical,

live.

feet,

— or

Have your support person

angry, give yourself permission to do that.

with you

who

to cry like a child

is

arm gestures

and

it is

where they

cellular effects. It is

important to allow the motion of the emotions to go through the body so

you can be

clear, integrated,

and open to new experience

at all levels.

Trust.

4.

Trust yourself. Trust the desires you have had, trust the feelings you

have had in response, and trust the movement that has taken place.

been

real, it

has been you,

This step

is

a

hand to

how it feels.

with abundance to

abundance that

is

a tendency in people

with themselves. The two go

is

why it

is

yourself,

you are more open to that

important to stay with yourself throughout

and to

trust yourself.

Let Go.

Now

let

it

completed the one through

go.

Take

circuit.

four,

The

a deep breath, active

this point

you have given yourself

done. In following steps

a gift.

You have

cleared,

You need do no more.

you may have your marching boots on, ready to charge

forward and pursue the things you want. still

and notice that you have

work has been

attuned, and aligned with yourself.

that

who feel out

personally meaningful and deeply enriching for you.

this progression of experiences

At

is

lose contact

you remain in touch with

abundance. That

5.

There

thick and

When you are out of touch with yourself, you are less open

in hand.

When

has

has been important.

way of staying present with yourself through

thin, regardless of

of contact

it

It

wants to be expressed or

If

a healthy

that

is

a true desire

— motion

impulse to take steps toward

CREATING YOUR WORLD

reaching a

goal— then follow

taken. For example,

it.

In fact, often there

the abundance you

if

want

is

is

07

1

outer action to be

increased financial

success in your business or a community of friends

who

share your

passion for spiritual growth, you will need to take practical action that in synch with the fulfillment of your

desire.

is

Take that action from the

abundance-based energy moving through your body. That

is

empowered,

abundance-based action.

However,

if

your personality

state of anxiety, or

from distrust

is

pressuring you to do more from a

of yourself

completed, give yourself permission to

let that

You have done your work, and you can

illusion.

back about your

life,

watching

and the process you

sit

been the steps

and step

effects of

receive.

your abundance process to come to you in your

six

is

moving out

for

simply receiving

may come

important thing

is

may come

to

it.

wanted

or

it

may

be receptive; the essence of your desire

fulfilled,

have

five

of the shade into the light of abundance,

to you in the form you

comes back to you It

empowered,

Allow yourself to receive what you want. Steps one through

It

can go

Receive.

Allow the life.

an

It is

down now. You

for opportunities to take

abundance-based action, and allowing yourself to

6.

pressure go.

just

and you

can't predict

in ordinary circumstances,

how

not. is

The

what

that will happen.

words someone says to you

in

conversation, a chance meeting, a synchronistic event, or a change in

someone's attitude and actions toward you. Or

it

may come

as a special

opportunity or an impulse you get to take a specific action. Or you

may

suddenly have an "Aha! moment" that juices you with inspiration and a greater perspective. Be open to recognizing and receiving the fulfillment of your desire in

whatever way it comes to you.

COMING HOME

108

The

feeling of desire arises because

you

feel

separate from

what you

want, as though a glass shield stands between you and abundance. You

can see the abundance on the other

side.

You can

occasionally see other

people going up and taking part in the abundance, then turning around

and

telling

you

how

to do the same. Yet the glass remains.

with these six steps can help the glass see that

Then you

dissolve.

Your work

will begin to

what you wanted was never far away, never separate from you

at

aU.

27 Manifesting

You already have unlimited does.

You

this very

Everyone

are involved in the creation of physical reality all the time.

moment,

moment and

just

by being who you

the next and the next.

next six months of your possibility, just

life

are,

You could

you are creating the next say, for

you are unlimited

are in this spirit

Through your physical body your

physical reality, and through your physical

example, that the

moment.

who

has come into physical

spirit

communicates with

body your inner

creative force

moves outward to the physical world to manifest. Most important

know

about this process

is

At

are created already, not as fate but as

by your being who you

In your essence,

form.

ability to create in physical reality.

that your experience of self is

what

to

creates every

aspect of life.

Everything is energy.

Physical matter

energy.

is

Every image, thought,

feeling,

Thoughts are energy. Feelings are energy.

and belief you consciously or unconsciously

hold about yourself carries a specific energy formula or pattern to

These energy patterns are complex and your experience of

self,

which

reality creates the outer reality

Your auric

field is

is

real.

your inner

you

live

Collectively they reality.

it.

make up

This ongoing inner

with every day.

the energy space extending outward from your

CREATING YOUR WORLD

body.

It

links your inner experience

1

09

with the outer world. Through your

auric field, the precise energy patterns of your experience of self are

transmitted outward to the physical world. They are a template for everything that manifests as your

life.

These energy patterns create

your outer experiences (situations, relationships, prosperity, your responses to them. So everything you encounter in

life is

etc.)

all

and

a reflection

of your inner experience of yourself! In that way, your experience of

everyone and everything as

your experience of

self

is a

mirror for you and

also subject to

is

change

changes.

Whatever you emanate, you mil encounter.

If

you are aware of yourself as

love, for

example, those energy patterns

transmitted outward through your auric

are

encounter in your the world

than

it

If

life

may seem

will be the manifested experience of that love.

to you a loving place, or at least a

would seem if you were less aware

you are not aware

yourself,

of yourself as love

may encounter

situations over

more loving place

and do not cherish and honor is

transmitted outward

world and manifested

field into the

Then

of yourself as love.

your energetic pattern of "nonlove"

through your auric

and what you

field,

in your

and over in which you

life.

You

are not loved,

honored, or treated kindly. Life can then be a frightening experience.

Consider also that your experience of actions you take in

life. If

you carry conscious

self will

self-love,

determine what

you will tend to

take actions that are loving and wall then reap more loving responses

from the world.

Understand that you

are not

bad or flawed

for not loving yourself

more, only hungry for the nourishment you deserve. in such limitation,

it is

When you are caught

always possible to open to greater experience.

Remember, the change begins within you.

You alter your patterns of outer manifestations by alteringyour inner experience of self

COMING HOME

110

Be willing to allow yourself greater

what

life

seems to be giving you or

love.

telling

Nurture

you about

self-love in spite of

yourself.

Then you

automatically will be adding more self-love to your energy pattern that

transmits outward for manifestation. After a period of time the world will

seem to change and you will encounter more love

in your

life.

You

will

begin to find yourself treated more honorably and cherished more often.

You

more supported in outwardly living the love that is your true

will feel

nature.

28

Empowering Your Desires Your manifesting energy never stops working and purposeful

for you.

As

a highly creative

you to interact with projected

force, it literally enables

forms of your being everywhere you go. To whatever degree your experience of

self

relationships will

includes inner nurturing and support, your outer

show nurturing and

support.

To whatever degree you

inwardly experience abundance, your outer manifestations will be of abundance. Yet, nothing you manifest in physical reality

and of

itself.

It is all

is

there purely as your reflection for learning and

growth. Every person, thing, and situation you encounter

some aspect

important in

is

symbolic of

of you.

The purpose experience of

self

of manifesting

anything

apparent in physical

is

simply to

reality.

When

make your

you

insist

on

manifesting something for any other purpose, you are at cross-purposes

own nature. That in itself can be frustrating and can leave you wondering, "Why isn't what I want coming to me? Why isn't it with your

happening?"

When

you have that

feeling, let it

level of awareness, to true self. If

and you do not seem

a deeper

you find yourself being attached to

having more money, a relationship, a else,

remind you to drop to

new

to be getting

it,

car, a better job, or

something

experiment with looking

at the

situation differently. Be aware that your desire for the thing (the money,

CREATING YOUR WORLD

relationship, car, etc.) is a desire

from the most superficial

1 1

level of

your

being: your personality.

Although you may be more aware your deeper

levels of self,

most oriented to

your personality carries the

than you are of power.

least

control, has the strongest sensations,

greatest demands, but

it

carries the least true power.

levels of self are progressively

progressively

of your personality

power by simply

shifting

the

and makes the

Because your deeper

more aligned with true

more manifesting power. You can

It is

self,

they carry

activate this greater

your awareness deeper. Attuning to the

following four levels will take you progressively deeper:

(1) Superficial

Desire; (2) Essence Desire; (3) Internalized Desire; (4) Desire for

True

Self.

1.

Superficial Desire

Each superficial desire is a symbol for a greater desire you hold at a deeper

Your personality

is

most

familiar

with

desire for things (and situations) that fulfillment.

This

desire

is

level.

superficial desire,

which

is

the

you assume will bring happiness or

reinforced

by

cultural

messages

that

achievement, material gain, and other people are the source of your well-

being and sense of

Of the four

self.

levels, superficial desires are

noticed most frequently. Yet

they take the most exertion to pursue and are the least satisfying fulfilled.

Recognizing that your superficial desires are incomplete in

themselves frees you to look for your deeper power.

2.

when

Essence Desire

You can empower yourself by going directly to the essence ofyour desire.

COMING HOME

112

It is

easy to

level

by asking

quality in

your awareness drop from the superficial to the essence

let

yourself,

"What

is

the essence of this desire?

What

the

is

my life or the experience of myself that I want from this?"

common desire at the superficial level. Yet money is a symbol for many things. What is the essence level of money for you? Perhaps you believe that when money comes it will bring For example, money

the most

is

you ease in the world. Having your financial needs met can indeed bring certain type of ease. joy.

Or maybe having more vacations would bring you

Or maybe you simply want the feeling The essence

come

into your

of

life

what you want

regardless of

essence

is

of being supported in

life.

would

the feeling or quality that

by getting the thing (money) that you're focused

The ease or joy or support

And

a

how

always a deeper desire than the money

is

often

on.

it

may appear

otherwise, you always want

is.

the

more than you want the thing.

Let your personality's superficial desires serve as your springboard to the essence

Each time you catch yourself wanting

level.

and deepen the dialogue. Remind yourself of the

money" becomes "What essence of life."

Or

it

what

I

may be

really "I

supported in being you're willing to car, job, or

is it I

want

want

who

make

I

really

is

want?

more peace

Oh

truth. "I

yes,

now

to feel supported in the world.

am and

really

this shift,

in having

wanting

I

want more feel

what

I

actually want.

to feel

need."

When

a thing (money, relationship,

it

to

desire.

become

a part

you can stay in touch with what you

When the essence of your desire becomes real to you daily,

stimulates a shift in your pattern of manifesting.

your essence desire integrates into your daily experience of

my

want

I

whatever) automatically reminds you of your deeper

of your awareness every day so

The

it.

(or ease, or joy, etc.) in

Let the essence level of desire be real to you. Allow

it

a "thing," stop

self

life, it

and energetically supports the

As your awareness becomes part

of

of your

direct creation of

what

you truly want.

You can There

is

still

want more money,

nothing wrong with wanting on the superficial

of living in the physical world. But

will

a relationship, a car, or a

somehow make up

for

what

if

new

level; that's

job.

part

you assume that getting the thing

you're missing at the essence level, you

CREATING YOUR WORLD

put yourself on a treadmill of

on the thing can enable you essence level

1 1

dissatisfaction. Staying focused exclusively

to get

it,

yet nothing will have changed at the

because that was not where you put your focus. You will

have gotten the symbol but not the essence that the symbol represents.

You will have the money you wanted, but or support in your

life. If

not have enough ease or joy

even then you do not change your focus to the

essence level of wanting, you

may soon

symbol, another thing, in the hope that If

still

it

find yourself chasing another

will save you.

you wonder why you never quite get what you want, look closely

that dynamic because

it is

basic to manifesting.

Remember

at

that you

always really want the essence more than the thing. As you allow your essence desire to be as thing,

real,

or

more

real, to

you than your desire

you are well on your way to manifesting

3.

for the

it.

Internalized Desire

Essence desire

is

wanting meaningful

internalized desire

is

qualities in your

wanting them

in your self.

Internalized desire brings your focus even closer to

your essence desire

says, "I

want

This support of being

is

"I

want

Home. For example,

if

to feel supported in the world," you can

drop your awareness deeper to the supported by you.

life;

to feel

level

where you want to

more support

for myself

feel

more

from myself."

not based on your achieving any particular outer standard

worthy or deserving.

It is

a basic

need

for unconditional support

of self— a support of self that does not fluctuate according to outer realities

such as your financial situation or other people's feelings about

you. Or,

if

you want more joy in your

you want inner joy that relationships.

is

life,

look within for the level where

not taken away by changes in outer events or

COMING HOME

114

Desire for True Self

4.

Underlying the desires for all things and is

all

essence qualities,

the desire to discover your true nature.

Desire for true self goes something like this: "More than anything,

my

to live from

true self so fully that

everywhere." The desire for true self their deepest longing, Fulfilling

the

surrenders to true

whether they

desire self,

for

experience

I

is

it

true

Imagine

it

as

are conscious of it or not.

with joy and

and well-being.

moment,

so basic that everyone has

means that the personality

self

recognizing

relief,

and source. Your inner and outer experiences merge; force

in every

want

I

living

with

that

it

as its essence

all is

vibrant

awareness

life

daily,

recognizing unlimited spirit as yourself, and as everyone and everything

you

see.

That

is

This true

with

all

freedom. That

self state of

That

is glory.

is

Coming Home.

unity means that you experience yourself as one

aspects of your being and one with

human, animal,

earth, spirit,

and beyond.

already have everything you want.

all

things and

all

When you are in this

beings:

state,

you

And when you recognize your true self

already manifested in the world, manifesting things like money, a car, a relationship, or a job

your return to true

becomes

self,

superficial desires will

You may have able to go for true self

When

if,

in

you have learned to drop beneath

what you've always wanted most, the more

seem less urgent.

a tendency to self.

So don't be surprised

you lose interest in creating some things that had

been important to you before. the symbols to create

child's play.

go for the symbols when you don't

You may not know what your true

may seem impossibly out of reach,

that your true self even exists. So

or

self is,

feel

your true

maybe you simply are not aware

when you

can't get in

touch with the

deeper possibilities, you automatically gravitate to the more superficial ones.

You may even become good

and creating

lots of things in

your

at manifesting life.

on the

superficial level

Yet you are stuck there until you

choose to open to greater depths, to your greater depths, and plunge

in.

CREATING YOUR WORLD

You may

find that

most

of your time

1 1

and energy in working with

manifesting the fulfillment of your desires goes into levels one, two, and three

— and probably in that order. Yet

level four.

way yet

to

move more

still

forth

Working

(or playing!)

it is

important also to be aware of

with the deepening

levels of desire is a

intimately into yourself and to explore

stay connected with the outer world.

between inner and

who you

are,

You can move back and

and deep, and never be in the

outer, superficial

wrong place. There it is

is

no wrong place

in this exploration. All of

it is

you, and

of

all

keep paying attention. The more awareness you bring

valuable. Just

to this process, the

more quickly and deeply you will learn.

29 Relinquishing Control

Your essence

is love.

Furthermore,

all

in innumerable forms. Lets look at

emotion of

love,

that emotion love,

is

it is

physical reality

what

this

means.

is

love manifested

When you

feel

the

easy to think of that as a manifestation of love. Yet

only the tip of the iceberg. All experiences are

made

of

from the most mundane to the most unusual, and most go

unrecognized for the profound potential they

Any

situation in your

life

carry.

is difficult is

that

as

much

a manifestation

of love as is a pleasant one. For example, think of an experience that

brought pain or other discomfort into your distressing

it felt

and

how much you

You may remember how

life.

resisted

it.

You may

still

think of

as a negative experience. Clearly, that situation didn't look or feel as

was for

a manifestation of love, yet

learning— graced

it

was.

for growth.

It

came

When

to

you

it

if it

full of possibilities

you genuinely recognize

all

occurrences as vehicles for love, a quality of richness and surrender enters

your

life.

There

safety that

is

a

deep connection,

a sense of peace, openness,

you cannot find without accepting

this basic truth.

and

COMING HOME

6

Whenyou recognize love in all of life's experiences, you are freed from your belief in nonabundance.

life is love.

may prompt you to think, "Okay, everything going on in my Some of it feels good, some of it feels bad, but it is all love. So

how do

control these manifestations of love to create

This idea

I

more good

experiences and fewer bad ones?"

When

you have experiences that

wonderful, there

feel so

a

tendency to think, "Right

now

things are going just

Things are good." Such a belief implies that

as they should.

not

is

comfortable, exciting, or

feel

good,

going well, that

it

means that something

it is

bad

a

situation.

good or bad, positive or negative, you

wrong, that things are not

is

When

when you do

you think of experiences as

limit yourself

and close yourself

off

from important avenues of growth.

From

the

uncomfortable nothing

is

perspective

urdimited

of

— perhaps you

feel

stuck in pain,

You simply

necessarily wrong.

being in the midst of discomfort. Love

no matter what the situation

You cannot

is

or

when

spirit,

are

or uncertainty

fear,

are embracing

is still

things

life

human

as a

present in that experience,

how uncomfortable it may be.

control your manifesting to the point that you create only

experiences you think are positive, meaning that they feel good to you.

You must allow say to yourself, gives

me

life

"I

to present itself to you without control.

want

to manifest

work that reflects who

the opportunity to express

my

want

to create

my life,"

want

to have loving relationships;

or

"I

openness in

my

Umiting to add,

heart that "...and

I

I

am

someone

else,

the world, or

have not yet

is

bad, or

causes

grief, for

because

it is

if

example,

is

It

also is

want

to experience an

felt in this lifetime."

But

it is

or to believe that

else,"

some kind

in

of failure

by you,

Life.

That type of control makes you expansive experiences

I

am and

and greater ease

financial support

not open to anything

everything painful or tragic

really

true self in the world."

fine to say, "I

more

I

fine to

It is

there is

is

resist

some

of your

pain or loss involved.

often thought of as a

so uncomfortable.

A situation that

most potentially

A

situation that

bad thing

to manifest

causes extreme grief and

CREATING YOUR WORLD

pain

is

wish

called a tragedy.

Your mind may say that you would be crazy

something that brings you

for

deeper wisdom, your true

and open the heart

self

grief or great pain.

knows

And

to

yet, in its

that grief can cleanse the system

in a powerful way. So

experience of grief to yourself because of

all it

you may actually will an has to

Understand that you usually do not will

offer.

grief (or pain, illness,

and so on) to yourself at the conscious, personality level. In fact,

suffering,

your personality will emphatically part in their manifestation. But

most

1 1

resist

such experiences and deny any

remember that your personality

superficial aspect of your being (the

therefore, has the least true power.

most unaware

Your true

self

is

the

of true self) and,

much greater power

has

in manifesting. It uses this powder to create precisely the situations that offer

your personality the most perfect growth. At that

compassion and expansive

insight,

you will

all

deep

level of

your experiences to

yourself.

Applying

this

concept can be tricky for the personality

7

completely understand

concept of

you

it.

is

"I

your ow n

if

situation,

important that you do not use the

— perhaps

If

you find yourself

a divorce or loss of a loved

one

that

is

an inappropriate use of the concept of creating

Immediately stop and give yourself compassion; open to

reality.

the love that you

Or

doesn't

created this situation" and feeling like that means something

wTong with you, T

it's

create your reality" against yourself.

in a distressing situation

thinking

So

w ho 7

,

are.

you find yourself talking to

a friend w^ho is facing a distressing

perhaps a serious health challenge, and you are thinking, "Well,

everyone creates their to happen", that

is

reality7 so ,

my friend must have willed this problem

inappropriate, too. Again, stop and give yourself

compassion—because even though your

friend

is

the one with the

problem, you are in distress, too. It is a

sure sign you are in distress

creating reality

make

someone

which

about

either you or your friend flawed or deserving of

distress— neither of which or

when your assumptions

is true.

Opening to self-compassion w hen you

else is in distress will take

7

you deeper into your true

inability to is the antidote to the personality's

make loving

self,

sense of

COMING HOME

118

a disturbing situation.

Always be interesting

most compassionate

in the

and empowering ways to understand how you create your

It is

reality.

never appropriate to use spiritual concepts

to create feelings of blame, shame, or

inadequacy

in yourself or others.

Every thought, conscious or unconscious, directing your thoughts, you can use their

and

guidance in your

its

life.

powerful. By consciously

power

with true

to align

self

This alignment can be particularly effective

in transforming your distress.

For example,

personality difficulty, you can stop for a

and

is

when you

moment, take

—without denying any of your distress — choose

are facing a

a deep breath,

for that situation to

be a vehicle for deep empowerment. Take a moment to affirm something

open to

like, "I

Through

with true

that

I

am.

this situation,

I

allow the energy of

all

I

align

self

and the love that

I

am.

my true self to move into my

life."

Sometimes you will

feel

Other times you may not

feel

anyway, and pause for a deep subtle that you cannot feel

the effects of this affirmation immediately.

it

anything right away. Trust the thought

shift to

take place, even though

consciously.

Your intention

the shift will take place regardless of whether you feel

happen

at a core level

will noticeably If

and lay the groundwork

match your

it

may be

so

powerful, and

is it.

Subtle shifts

for future experiences that

affirmation.

you have even the most subtle sensation that something has

shifted

— perhaps your spine stands just a

relax a

new feeling of lightness notice it. However however insignificant it may seem, acknowledge it. "I open to true

subtle, self,

little,

bit taller,

your

facial

muscles

—

or you have a

and I allow the subtlety of it."

When you understand the power of such subtle experience, you a lot less for granted in shifts that

life.

By attuning

occur in response to your directed thought and

begin to understand and witness

moment.

to the subtle inner

how you

affect

take

and outer

feeling,

you

your reality in each

9

CREATING YOUR WORLD

Reality

is

created tiny bit by tiny

Imagine that your current

made up

life,

of microscopic pieces that

your current

life

into place. This

it

reality, is a great

puzzle still

incomplete. Each time

is

new piece to that self-directed way of putting your

within yourself, you take a

a subtle shift

puzzle and press

bit.

you put together. Some areas are

in the process of being assembled, so the puzzle

you create

1 1

is a

together as you go along. By consciously choosing

what you attune

to,

you are creating the content of the puzzle and your life.

30

Owning Your Power to Create As you think about consciously creating your life, you may wish you were better at manifesting. Yet the truth excellently in every

come

to you.

moment! Just look

Whether

lightness of spirit, your

and full

is

it's

that you already are manifesting at

your

life

happiness, sadness,

life is

a rich

and see

fear,

blend of what

it is

how much has

doubt, pain, joy, or to be alive

and vital

of human experiences.

Your very

ability to create in physical reality is

to be here in the first place.

A

would never

ability to manifest

being

who

what has enabled you

does not have the inherent

get into physical reality.

To be here you

must manifest yourself into physical form. After you have done naturally have the ability to manifest anything in your

life,

that,

you

and you never

lose that ability.

You are the creator ofyour life: at

some level you have wanted or needed

every experience you have encountered.

Recognition of this truth conscious manifesting.

been using

all

is

a

fundamental step toward more

allows you to recognize the

It

along and to begin to direct

find that you have

some

it

power you have

with intention. Yet you may

resistance to this idea. Believing that you have

COMING HOME

120

created your

life

and have wanted

that you've created can be

all

frightening to your personality. Your personality often forgets that greater levels of your being are in charge. If

to

you are unhappy with your work and you don't have enough money

pay the

bills,

your personality

such an "undesirable" situation.

may

It

refuse to accept that you created

may

say, "I'd

be stupid to create

this!"

It

may think that taking responsibility for creating your life means having

to

blame

situation

yourself, as is a

though creating such a challenging or uncomfortable

negative thing.

Your personality forgets that the deeper soul of your being views your life

from a different vantage point. Perhaps your personality doesn't want

the situation of having a joy you hate and insufficient

your

may

bills;

money

to cover

but perhaps your soul does choose that situation. Your soul

see that through that challenge

you will learn important lessons

who you truly are, what your spiritual relationship with money is, or how clearing your issues with money can heal a deeper inner struggle. about

The souVs teachings are usually much broader than anything the personality can grasp right away.

You may not be

able to completely understand

about until you have lived personality

—by

living.

it

through. That's

So, until

how your

lesson

is

soul teaches your

you have lived through the deeper

teaching enough to really understand let yourself

what your

it,

let

yourself be unknowing! Also,

surrender to the sense that, somewhere deep within, you have

wanted and created each

situation in your

life

and that you love yourself

enough to open to the learning it brings. If

you think that owning your power to manifest means that you

must blame yourself for your "misfortunes," to

a

new compassion

manifestations

are

that

never

will

wrong

see

if

you can open your heart

gently melt or

bad.

the

self-blame.

Your

They may sometimes be

uncomfortable, painful, or overwhelming, but they always are for a deeper purpose. Always.

Maybe you

are used to

blaming others (other people or outer

CREATING YOUR WORLD

circumstances) for some of your difficulties or pain. This

is

a very

2

1

human

thing to do, and almost everyone has this tendency.

Owning your power

to manifest disrupts this pattern of blaming others,

and your personality

may respond with resistance to this change. Three major forms of resistance may

surface.

Fear ofShifting the Blame.

1.

If

your personality needs to blame other people or circumstances

"He

is

the cause of my unhappiness." "You can't buck the system." "That's

just

how life

is."

—

will be afraid to let go of outer blame, as though its

it

defenses are being taken away. Here the basic premise somebody's fault; belief, if you

That

feels

if it's

not their fault then

take the blame off others

it

it

is,

"It

must be

must be mine." Within that

automatically

falls

back onto you.

uncomfortable, unfair, and debilitating; no wonder you resist

it!

2.

Fear ofLosing Your Power.

Your personality may assume that taking your

life

means automatically

her behavior.

If

responsibility for creating

letting everyone else off the

hook

for his or

you hold yourself accountable, but think you no longer

can hold other people accountable for themselves,

have power and you don't. You

feel

it feels

as

weakened and forced

though they

into a passive

No wonder you resist this, too!

role.

Fear ofBeing Stuck.

3.

You may have

a

hidden

belief that

something uncomfortable in your real.

The

flip side of

that belief

have created and face about

it

and

it

is

life, it

repeating the pattern, caught in

you avoid responsibility

if

you do claim what you

you won't be able to do anything

You assume it

for

away— or at least be less

will go

the fear that

straight on,

you'll just feel bad.

if

for good.

that you will then be stuck

Here

again,

you

resist.

COMING HOME

22

Ironically, in spite of these beliefs, to the degree that

yourself from whatever you have manifested in your

continue to manifest yourself,

it.

When

do not want to look

"I

acknowledge that I've created continue

to

create

that

yourself from your manifesting

weaken your current

life

and

I

difficulty.

life

create

you create what you have, you distance

power (which

is

also

what you want.

from

it

your creativity) and

Or,

if

you

your

reject

into something new, you will find

seem to get away.

It is

by

fully

embracing your

and loving yourself in the midst of it that you heal what needs

to be healed, that you free yourself attract

You unconsciously

own your creation.

to you

try to escape

that you never quite

current

draw

ability to

likely to

my power to manifest: do not want to the difficulty in my life," you are likely to at

very

rejecting the idea that

you are

you consciously or unconsciously say to

experiences over and over until you

By

life,

you distance

and are empowered to create and

something new.

Living

is

the act of surrendering to

and exploring

the lifeyou already have,

learning to love yourself in the midst ofallyour creations.

If

you completely accept that you have created your

your creative power. Changing your can look

at a difficult experience

happened to me, and it Yet

I

see

feels as if

I

and sincerely

from the heart of my being that

much

I

you embrace simpler.

You

say, "It feels as if this

manifested

wisdom and love

this.

this in I

my life.

accept that

I

I

open to

you continue to be unconscious of manifesting everything

in your

the learning

life,

then becomes

would be crazy to want

created this experience out of deep

If

life

life,

for myself.

it offers."

you continue to

feel that

things happen to you. But as you allow

yourself to acknowledge and align with your deep creative power, you free yourself to manifest

more consciously and compassionately.

Another way of saying

this is that

when you

surrender to the creator

within, you surrender to having created everything in your yourself instead of judge yourself in the midst of your creation,

life.

You

no matter

love

how

CREATING YOUR WORLD

comfortable or uncomfortable your

who

power. People

can do

it

life

may be.

This surrender

need to be told very

is

23

an act of

about

little

1

how

to

manifest.

Surrender feeling of

your

life

is

not just mental or emotional.

life

and immersion in love of yourself

or even that

yourself in the

create

much

deeper.

It is

the

complete immersion in the experience of yourself as creator of

This love does not necessarily

your

It is

mean

in the midst of your creation.

that you love what you've created in

you have to be comfortable with it, but that you love

midst of it

what you want

all.

From there you

for yourself in the future. In fact, as

immersion, whatever you think and deeply instantly put into the

will intuitively

programming

feel

know how to

you

sit

in that

you want in your

for future manifestation.

life is

When you

have the experience of yourself as manifestor, you are able to consciously direct that manifesting ability to enrich any area of your

life

you choose.

31

Transforming Your Blocks

Major transitions are not always Sometimes

as

easy. It takes

you go through transformation,

time to

it

live

new

truths.

seems as though every

personality pattern that ever held you back becomes stronger or comes at

new

you from

a

memories

of being

angle.

You may

find yourself caught in feelings or

unloved and alone. Emotional pain and despair may

surface. Rigid beliefs of "can't have"

the better of you for awhile. You

and "don't deserve" may seem

may become

to get

confused, frustrated, or

doubtful that you are making progress. It's all

right

if

this happens. It does not

ground or that you will not be successful

mean

that you are losing

in your spiritual growth.

It

simply means that you have been willing to drop into yourself at a deeper level.

This commitment to

new depth

is like a light

that shines into the

dark corners of your unconscious, flushing out everything at that level that is still holding your personality back and blocking its awareness of true

self.

This

is

your "shadow," unclaimed aspects of your personality

where you have been

afraid to "turn

on the

light" before.

Now, out

of self-

124

COMING HOME

love,

you are allowing these issues to come forward into the

light of

awareness to be faced and embraced.

Each area of darkness

is

an offering

to the light ofyour true being.

Each transition through the darkness performed from great

self-love

is

a sacred rite of passage,

and willingness to become whole no

matter what the challenge. You are moving into greater abundance; open

your heart to yourself and proceed, allowing each shadow to make

its

way to the light as it is drawn out for healing. In the midst of this transition, your personality's inner blocks to fulfilling

your true desires can seem strong. Understand that no block

real block; that

is,

no block has power of its own.

because you experience

Your blocks

are

the

You can

limitation.

it

where your personality

though your personality has the most the most superficial aspect of your

it is

always has the least true power. As

power comes from the deepest core self.

As you move inward,

with

identifies

it.

feel as

control over you, but because it

strong

each block by inviting a deeper, more

diffuse

unlimited experience alongside

being,

a

and you believe your experience.

that way,

areas

Sometimes you may

A block appears

is

we

have seen, the greatest

of your being: your unlimited true

or deeper, from your personality, each level of

awareness carries greater truth and, therefore, greater power. In other words, the more closely aligned with true

power it

"I

around

If

the more

may

levels

more

superficial belief.

So

belief in hmitation ("I can't have") alongside

the deeper truth of essence desire ("I

and

deeper awareness will always carry

time, will transform the

you hold your personality's

abundance

you allow yourself to hold two

a given issue, the

more power and, over

It

is,

can't have" can remain, undisturbed,

have what you want.

still

of awareness

if

your awareness

carries.

For example, the belief

you can

self

("I

choose greater ease") or greater

am willing to have"), the deeper truth will prevail.

take time and repetition

— remembering

to attune to the

CREATING YOUR WORLD

125

deeper level whenever a block seems to be stopping you

—but sooner or

later the deeper truth will transform your block. That

why you do

have to reject or fight your block. the deeper

level,

is

not

When it becomes your habit to open to

your block will be transformed naturally by the greater

power of the deeper truth.

Truth always transforms nontruth

The truth shadows

of your being

a brilliant light that will shine into the

is

of your personality, transforming the dark to light

You make your

offer those

shadows

When you

recognize a Hmiting belief or desire,

to

it.

offering let

whenever you

with your awareness. your awareness move

to a deeper level, to a greater belief that already exists along with the

limited one or a deeper desire below the superficial one.

As the

greater truth transforms the lesser one, the energy that

went

into maintaining your limitation goes into expanding your awareness. Similarly, all the old energy that

your

way now

serves

seemed to work against you or block

you by clearing your path and propelling you

forward into greater growth. So, alongside the limited belief of

the goodness

something

I

Remember what you

greater.

truly want.

even though your personality I

feel that

support in

though

I

my

cannot have and do not deserve

I

want; everyone gets to have what they want but me," add

remember what you

though

tt

truly are: love.

Then allow

tells

life. I

am willing to

always thought

it

that love,

yourself that true wanting

you that you cannot have

cannot have and do not deserve

I

From

receive support: "I

was meant

it, I

it.

"Even

want the feeling of

want joy in

for others rather

my life

even

than for me.

I

want joy anyway, and Ym willing to have it."

When limitations

you do is

that,

you are empowering

ever truly stopping you.

yourself.

The universe

is

None

generous, and you

can always have what you deeply want. You just need to be will find that willingness as you open to true

As you move that

of your

willing.

You

self.

into this shift of awareness, the mental conditioning

had been holding you back may

still

continue speaking to you,

COMING HOME

126

saying things

like,

"You are not good enough." "You do not deserve to get

what you want." "You cannot have again." Perhaps

limited belief

you also

If

it.

you get

it

you will just lose

who

have people around you

still

by remaining unsupportive

of you. But

it

reflect that

now, even

in the

midst of that old limitation, you have greater choice. Without resisting that limitation, you can add a greater reality to

it,

one that empowers you:

You can allow yourself to have.

When to

push

it

that old, unsupportive voice

away. Simply acknowledge

acknowledge and choose the new

what

I

it

it.

Say, "Here

it is

it!"

Align with the

Then

again."

reality: "In spite of everything,

want, and I'm willing to have

the deeper truth, and feel

comes forward, you do not need

new

want

I

voice, claim

in your body.

When you align this way daily, that new voice becomes as real to you as the old one

— and, in time, even more

real.

Your attunement to truth

deepens, and your overall experience of self grows to include having

you truly want. As

your outer

this takes place,

life

what

begins to shift and

reflect that change.

Keep

in

mind

that things do not change for you because you are a

good person or because you

are spiritual

you dress well or hold good dinner determines what you create in your

your true

self essence, feel

life.

enough any more than because

parties. It

When you

your true

is

your experience of self that

allow yourself to remember

desires,

and receive goodness, so

much more can come to you. Your life becomes richer.

9 ATTUNEMENT Being Creator of Your Life #1

As you go about your life, stop your

life.

for a

moment

several times a

day to look

at

Regardless of what you are doing, thinking, or feeling in the

moment, say

and I love myself in

this

creation." Truly sink into the feeling of being the creator of your

life,

to yourself, "Yes,

I

have created

this,

including the self-love. Doing this perhaps ten to twelve times a day for a

CREATING YOUR WORLD

week

will help bring a shift in your awareness

truly present If

and

in

"Yes,

I

your

27

1

ability to

be

with yourself in your life.

you absolutely cannot go along with the

part of the statement, focus on the

have created this"

love myself in this creation." That

"I

is

the most important part.

When

you

say,

love myself," sometimes you will feel

"I

sometimes you won't; either way

is

all

Sometimes

right.

and

it,

self-love is

noticeable alongside other feelings. Other times stronger feelings and

may completely

physical sensations, like fear and frustration,

shadow the is

feeling of self-love,

which

there nonetheless, whether you feel If

you do not

feel

are looking for the

a

is it

more subtle

over

vibration. Self-love

consciously or not.

the self-love, breathe. Look within as though you

most subtle

feeling of love, then breathe to

notice any love, do not worry.

colors of a sunset.

you find

If

acknowledge and receive It

it. If

does not mean that the love

a subtle

you do not is

not there

or that you are doing the exercise incorrectly. Your act of inner alignment

has power whether or not you are able to will be

working

at a

feel it at the

conscious

level. It

deeper level and evidence will surface in time.

9 ATTUNEMENT Being Creator of Your Life #2

For a week, take some time each day to scan your already have manifested a wealth of

human

life.

Recognize that you

experiences.

feelings are pleasant or unpleasant does not matter.

minutes of scanning your noticing

Whether

the

During the few

you are being present with yourself and are

life,

how much you already have created.

During

this

week,

also

consider

allowing

yourself

temporarily of the desire to change anything about your absolutely necessary. feeling that anything

This exercise

It is

may

life

to

that

let

go

is

not

can be liberating to take a week's vacation from

wrong and that you must do something about it. bring

up the

fear that

you will be condoning

COMING HOME

128

everything in your

mind may want

and

life

to focus

spite of that reaction, see

You may choose affirmation such

from everything all

on change to avoid things if

as

it is.

as they are.

you can allow yourself to take

"I I

to balance the desire for change

Your

But in

a vacation

with

allow myself to receive learning and

my

have created in

life"

have created at this time, and

I

it

from

even wanting, to change anything.

trying, or

to

be stuck with

will, therefore,

I

or

"With

empowerment

self-love,

trust that

it

thought or

a

I

surrender

will guide

growth." As always with affirmations, use wording that

is

me

in

simple and

feels right for you.

The

first

consciously

lesson in being able to direct your manifesting powers to allow

is

what you

away from what you

stop running

allow yourself to embrace your

you

feel

already have done to be enough.

as

You cannot accept

yourself

if

you must run away from what you already have created by

Open your

quickly creating something better. learn from

You

it is.

As you

with right now, you begin to

are living

life

more

that you have manifested.

all

You

heart to the present, and

are complete in this

moment.

are an excellent manifestor already.

ATTUNEMENT Being Creator of Your Life #3

Each night

as

you

lie

down

to sleep, compassionately align with yourself

Feel your

body

relax as you think

as creator of

your

following:

open to true wisdom and compassion

being.

I

"I

align

knowledge

life.

with myself

to

become

as creator

real to me."

most appropriate to you.

and manifestor

of

and

feel

the

in the heart of

my

my life.

I

allow this

Adjust the wording to whatever

feels

CREATING YOUR WORLD

1

29

ATTUNEMENT Being Creator of Your Life #4

1.

Sit quietly for a

few moments, and feel the gentle movement

Allow your attention

breath

to drop into your heart. Feel your heart's

openness and warmth, however subtle

Think or

2.

home

of

feel

the following:

From my

When

may be.

align within the heart of

heart

I

Sit for a

I

call forth this

me fully experience the life I

align

with myself

vibrant and aligned, always 3.

"I

it

deep wisdom and compassion. ...

compassion to help

few minutes

as a creator

my

being,

wisdom and

already have created.

and manifestos

...

I

.

.

am

"

in the reverberations of your affirmation.

you are ready to come out of your meditative

state,

and become aware of your body. Then slowly open your move, and get up

of your

when you are ready.

9

breathe fully

eyes, stretch

and

COMING HOME

30

LOUISA AND ABUNDANCE "I

sure need to experience the abundance of the universe," thought

Louisa, "and fast." She just

moved

was

and he had been paying

out,

several years. Louisa's job

money. Her boyfriend had

in a panic about

was

reliable

and

fulfilling,

the hefty house payment by herself on the income

That night Louisa

household

half the

it

bills for

but she couldn't pay

provided.

and meditated. As her breathing

sat in quiet

became gentler and more rhythmic, she

softly

intended for her awareness

my true self where I know that the universe is fully am a reflection of everything good in the universe."

to go to "the place in

abundant and that

I

As Louisa released her intention and

let

her awareness drop within,

she noticed the subtle well-being of true self circulating lightly within her.

She

let

each breath go into that well-being, gently opening to the

abundance she knew was emerge. It felt

there.

Soon

a tiny feeling of

With each breath, it became more real, calming and soothing her.

natural and right.

With

it

came

a

knowing, without thoughts, that

abundance was her core truth and that her that abundance.

The very next

day, Louisa got

who had heard of her, great offers.

could mold

itself to

a

match

commitment

knowing of abundance into her daily life.

two

calls

from people she didn't know,

asking to hire her as a part time consultant for

their businesses. Louisa hadn't

two

life

As Louisa ended the meditation, she made

to herself to carry this

but

abundance began to

The hours fit

done consulting

easily

much higher hourly rate, and Louisa

in a decade! Yet here

were

around her regular job, the pay was

a

enjoyed the work. Taking those jobs

gave Louisa the financial boost to cover her house payment and other

expenses that popped up over the following years. Opening to true

abundance had become Louisa's foundation the support she needed.

for manifesting

self

and receiving

Part VI

9

ENLIVENED EMOTION The Healing Power of Intense Feeling

32

Emotion Emotion is the current personality.

of

as a Vehicle for Spirit

To the degree we

personality resists or opens to as

circulates through us.

it

of being

emotion it

If

open to emotion, the

either resist or

force

life

emotion

human, which makes is

moving through the physical body and

force

life

restricted there is a loss of the joy

is

seem oppressive and

life

accepted and explored,

— and therefore, unlirnitedness

felt

and integrated

a struggle. If

in a balanced

way,

creates a stronger connection within self as well as a deeper awareness

of the interconnectedness of

Emotions are

so

people and

They have no

fluid.

separate from each other.

opening the

all

Any

deeply

all

things.

set boundaries that felt

emotion has the potential of

way for other emotions. For example,

busy working on

a project for several

chance to be aware of your

you have time

off.

feelings.

keep them

perhaps you have been

months that you haven't had

Then the

project

As your pace slows, you begin

is

a

completed, and

to feel emotions

you did

not realize were there.

Perhaps sadness

is

one of them. As you stay with your

sadness becomes a deep safe place to feel

through the

and

grief,

a support

talk about your grieving.

you notice that

You become aware deeper joy to be

You join

grief.

a

feelings, the

group so you can have

At some point

new joy begins

to

come

as

a

you move

into your

life.

that feeling your grief has cleared the space for the

felt also.

The

fluidity of

ride its current have guided

you into

emotion and your willingness to a

more vibrant intimacy with

yourself. It

also is possible that the grief (or

spontaneously

who

feel or

make you aware

have

felt

any other deeply felt emotion) may

of your connection to all other people

that emotion. Emotion

is

an energy that does not

belong to anyone, does not begin or end within the person

Each emotion flows through

all

who

feels

it.

people, connecting them at the deepest

level of physical awareness.

So, the grief all

you

feel is

not your

grief; it is the grief

people. Similarly, the sadness or joy or love you feel

that flows through is

not yours, but

is

COMING HOME

134

a universal

energy you are tapping into and interpreting in your

As you open

to this emotion in your

of your connection If

you have

with

and

self

becomes

life, it

own way.

a vibrant expression

others.

long-standing pattern of resisting emotion, you

a

probably adopted that pattern in response to early environmental pressure. Perhaps your family upbringing, reinforced society, taught

you to

resist,

deny, or

numb

your

by experiences

feelings. If

environment continues to reinforce your loss of emotional than support you in reclaiming to deeply resisted or

it,

in

your present

vitality rather

you may feel unable to change. Opening

abandoned emotion can feel too threatening without

compassionate, reliable outside support.

You do not have able to do

it

alone.

open

to

If it

was

to

emotion alone. In

you may not be

fact,

a restrictive environment that caused

close off to such an important aspect of your being,

it

you to

may take an equally

supportive environment, one with supportive people, to enable to you to

open it,

You deserve

again.

the joy in

life.

to reclaim your vibrant emotional self and, with

You have every right to an environment

Finding that

environment

support and not giving up

work. Sometimes people

if

is

the

challenge.

for you, too,

up

is itself

important

cannot find the right friends, the right

therapist, the right group, the right technique,"

been true

emotional

Seeking

you have trouble finding it

say, "I

of true support.

to this point, but

and so

on.

Maybe that has

how strong is your insistence?

How committed are you? How demanding of life are you willing to be on your own behalf? How much are you willing to do to find or to create your supportive environment? It

may

not always

does not

mean

possible.

That

it is

is

feel

what you

are seeking, but that

not available. Whatever you truly long for

a given in

you open yourself to

easy to find

life.

How you get yourself to

receive, it is a mirror of

and to reclaiming the brilliance

it,

always

how much

your commitment to yourself

of being fully alive.

Your emotions are sacred because

or

is

they carry spirit.

ENLIVENED EMOTION

1

35

Your personality includes your thoughts, emotions, and physical body as well as your relationship with the outer world and other people. It is

the container you use to carry urdimited spirit as you

To the degree

the world.

move through

that you resist any part of that container,

including your emotions, you restrict your ability to have fully conscious

awareness of

spirit. If

loving care of your

you have aspirations to be highly

spiritual,

take

human self, for that is truly the divine work.

9 33

Love As you came

into this lifetime, you brought

being. Urdimited spirit

was

still

love so complete that there

things and

all

real to you,

was no

memory

of the truth of your

and you carried

separation; you

a capacity for

were one with

all

beings.

As we have already

seen,

you then became acculturated to the

environment in which you grew up (your family, your schools, your

social

environment, and society in general) and took on the beliefs and

was not

experiences that surrounded you. This cultural consciousness

based on unlimited being. In others. in-

fact

told you that you

it

Much of infancy and early childhood was

were

not

one with

spent learning that here

the physical world you are viewed and responded to as though you are

completely separate. You were expected to conform to that reality of separation through your actions, your communication, and your inner experience.

Through that perceived

your sense of all

reality

separation, your sense of self

and

became limited.

That phase in your personality development was pivotal limited consciousness.

adaptation to physical reality and

its

here to be in the physical world.

You accepted

received here and allowed

it

in your

You came

the conditioning you

to affect your consciousness so you could

explore physical reality more deeply.

COMING HOME

136

Now, from

the midst of your exploration of the separation and

limitation of physical reality, you are starting to reopen to greater

memory once more. This time you

are inviting the awareness of true self

slowly to become integrated into your personality, into the aspect of your

being that has embodied the limited consciousness prevalent in the physical realm. At the core of this integration

is

the discovery that you no

longer have to be restricted to choosing between submersion into the

apparent limitation of physical reality or expansion into the freedom of unlimited being.

It

does not have to be either/or anymore. From the midst

of any limited experience,

you can open to unlimited true

You are developing the skill the limited

The

to contain

and the unlimited

self.

and carry both

together.

integration of urdimited being into a reality previously based on

limitation will ultimately be successful throughout the planetary culture.

This success has already been destined, not by some powerful "outside" force or being, but

by the

collective consciousness of all beings involved.

All beings bringing that destiny into reality, including you, have chosen their paths

with

care.

As you reclaim your deep memory things and

beings,

all

you remember that

unconditional love. People level

of true self

who

this

and unity with unity

is

based on

are aligned in true self tap into a deep

from which they are flooded with unlimited love and the

true

Home. This deep

energetically

and

love

spiritually

naturally

with

all

it.

Every person

who

and

love,

feeling of

and connects them

radiates

beings, physical

All people desire this state of truth

conscious of

all

and nonphysical.

whether or not they are

feels a spiritual

longing to go

Home

is

longing for that state where nothing can interfere with the deep, unconditionally loving connection between self and others. painful in the world

is

that there

What

is

so

seem to be too many experiences that

keep people from feeling their true connection with themselves and each other.

ENLIVENED EMOTION

1

37

34

Hate This

is

where hate comes

At

in.

a basic level, hate is

an outlet for the

outrage at being separated from the deeply loving aspect of true

Because of

intensity

its

and extreme discomfort, hate then

also

self.

becomes

another of those separating experiences, adding further to a vicious cycle of disconnection

with

self

and

from

love.

others, the

into defending

As hate blocks your

and protecting

takes you further

yourself,

it

which

reinforces separation

away from conscious connection with true

For a moment, remember a situation

Your

deep, loving connection

world seems more dangerous. More energy goes

feeling in that situation

when you hated

may have been extreme

and

self.

another person.

rage and hatred, or

may simply have been hate in the form of low-grade anger or frustration

that you could not ate at

you day

seem to get

over, the sort of chronic anger that quietly

after day.

Perhaps you thought your hate was due to something specific that

person said or did. deeper into

it

hate brought

No

matter what the hate seemed to be about, looking

probably would reveal that the event that inspired your

up

feelings that

your naturally loving, true

blocked your personality's awareness of

self state.

state of love in reaction to

You

lost contact

with your true

whatever the other person said or

you then

self's

did.

And

lost the ability

because you lost connection with your true

self,

to feel a deep level of unconditional love

and connectedness to other

people, particularly to the person you hated.

Remember, your most connection with safety that

When

is

all

basic, true state is to

be in unlimited love and

beings. This unity brings a sense of inner peace

your greatest treasure.

It is

and

pure, unwavering well-being.

someone does something that stimulates

a response within

you

that blocks your ability to feel loving connection, you feel cut off from

your greatest well-being in a brutal way. Then not only do you

by what the person connection to true

did,

self.

feel

hurt

but you also suffer the injury of losing your

COMING HOME

38

Losingyour natural

ability to love

both yourself and the person is

It is

experience of true

the greatest loss possible.

when someone

threatening

who hurt you

else's

actions can take

away your

your basic sense of peace,

self and, therefore,

safety,

and well-being in the world.

All hate

is

anguish at the loss of the ability

to feel loved

There

from that

terror

is

love. If

and loving

and outrage that someone has the power to cut you

your true state of well-being can be taken away by what

other people say and do, indeed, the world will seem brutal. for the personality to rebalance itself when

it

positioning for battle

is

to defend itself

by

— mentally, emotionally, physically. As you know,

the cultural conditioning of physical reality

at this

It is difficult

feels unsafe.

Often the personality's response to this threat

threatened, you

off

make war. There

you that when you are

more wars happening

are

time than you can keep track

tells

and some

of,

in the

world

are taking place in your

own life. Being at war does not necessarily

way. You

may simply carry on

what they have done of things

done,

to

mean

that you attack in an outer

a long inner state of war, hating people for

you or taken from you. This may manifest

as a list

you believe to be wrong with them, things they shouldn't have

ways they caused you

or others pain, defects in their character, and

soon.

Your

list

worked out people. Yet

can

I

may be

or that are

all life?"

it

may

good reasons

identify issues that

for

you not to

do need to be

socialize

more importantly, your most basic concern needs

release myself

true self?

accurate;

How can

I

from

this stance of

war

so

I

with those

to be,

"How

can reconnect with

reopen to the unlimited love that connects

my

me with

ENLIVENED EMOTION

One answer whenever you

is

to bring true self awareness

back into your

Opening your awareness

are upset.

139

life

to your true self

automatically brings back the unlimited love you have lost touch with.

Doing

add

this requires frequent use of

a

your intention.

more expanded awareness

You simply need

feelings,

means choosing

at the

even

if

moment. Remember that

they seem limiting to you.

to be creative about letting yourself extend

limitations of those feelings to the subtle, unlimited love of true

beyond the

and well-being

self.

Hatred off as

to

whatever uncomfortable (and

to

perhaps powerful) feelings you are having

you never have to stop your

It

is

a very

though there

Your heart

hmiting emotion, giving you the sense of being closed is

nothing that exists but that uncomfortable

feels closed,

and you are frustrated

the grip your hatred has on you. Even

someone back or "teaching them

feeling.

at not

being able to loosen

when you

think that hurting

a lesson" will

make you

feel better,

those

ideas appeal to you because unconsciously you assume that doing so will release

you from the misery of hatred.

(It

won't.)

When you feel stuck in hating, you can use the discomfort to remind yourself of your desire to bring greater light into that aspect of your personality.

You can pause for

this distress,

I

a

moment and affirm, "Even in the midst

choose to remember

my

of

true self and unlimited being.

I

open to the love that I am." Sometimes the hate will be so powerful that there does not seem to be room

for

and hate

any other

feeling.

You may

still

need to deal with your anger

in constructive, practical terms, yet your affirmation will be

laying the energetic circuitry for you to have a

more expanded, true

self

experience, too.

Even one second of affirmation has

whether you level

feel it in

deeper than

connection, there will

powerful

effect, regardless of

the moment. The greatest effect takes place at a

feeling.

hundred times over

a

So

if

you repeat your affirmation sincerely even

a period of days or still

At some point your inner

weeks without

be an accumulative circuitry will

will begin to notice a difference.

a

feeling the

effect of all those seconds.

become strong enough

that you

COMING HOME

140

Sooner or later you will notice that even in the midst of hating there

can

still

be the experience of true

begin to stay open to love even longer limit you;

it

self

and unconditional

when you

love.

You

Then hate

feel hate.

will

will

no

no longer separate you from love and expanded

will

awareness. Hate will no longer be a dangerous, destructive feeling that

must be avoided or denied;

which the

What

light of truth a glorious

more than one this ability;

to

new

it

will be just another

human

feeling

through

can shine and bring transformation.

breakthrough! At that point you will be able to hold

reality in

your consciousness

at a time.

Do not undervalue

the secret to expanding your consciousness and opening

it is

possibilities.

For this reason,

it is

a recurring

theme throughout

this book.

The ability

more than one reality

to hold

in your consciousness at the

same time

frees you from limitation.

Even when you simultaneously

feel

into the darkness. light grows.

feel

angry,

sad,

your unlimited

As you continue

Yet even

if

frustrated,

or hateful, you can

spirit. It is like a

to

ray of light shining

open to unlimited

spirit,

the ray of

the darkness of hate closes your heart and seems

power

bigger than that single ray of light, the ray of light has greater

because

it

When that

is

comes from true

self.

you are able to contain both the

an enlightening

state. It

light

and the dark together,

means that you no longer have

to choose

one experience over another. You do not have to choose love or hate,

blame

or forgiveness, sadness or joy, anger or openheartedness.

You

are

no

longer polarized; no particular feeling boxes you in and keeps you from the light of true

self.

You then have

experiences you came into this

life

access to the full range of

to embrace.

human

ENLIVENED EMOTION

1

4

35

Forgiveness

Forgiveness

is

the antidote for hate;

it is

the path back to true

The

self.

best suggestion for finding forgiveness in your heart for someone you hate is

to find forgiveness for yourself

hate,

no matter

how much it

first. If

is justified,

you are feeling resentment or

you are suffering and need

forgiveness. Self-forgiveness releases suffering

self-

and restores balance.

Frequently people do not want to focus on forgiving themselves

because they think think forgiveness

wrong.

It is

it

is

means they have

They

to admit guilt for something.

given only to someone

who

has done something

important to realize that people often need forgiveness even

when they have done nothing wrong.

Forgiving

is

giving forth compassion.

Rather than seeing forgiveness as blaming yourself or excusing

someone

wrongdoing, see

else for

where compassion

needed.

is

Then

it

it

as simply extending

becomes

compassion

easier to forgive everyone,

including yourself.

Even

you believe someone

if

that person (or

else

has wronged or hurt you, forgiving

coming to peace with the

situation)

extend a hand of true compassion to yourself first. face of everything this person has

loving compassion to myself.

I

"I

may be

easier

if

you

forgive myself. In the

done or has put me through,

forgive myself for the pain

I

extend

and anger I have

felt."

There

is

nothing wrong with your pain and anger, yet forgiving

yourself for feeling

it

may still be important.

accompanied by an automatic sense realize that

or

of guilt or shame, so

it

is

discomfort, you

may

feelings.

often

can help to

beneath your pain, anger, or hatred you may have hidden

shame about those

becoming

Intense pain or anger

guilt

Because that guilt or shame adds more

unconsciously avoid the whole set of feelings by

self-righteous: "Well, they

wronged me,

so they

COMING HOME

142

come and

deserve to have something bad happen to them." "He should

me first." "I would never do the kind of thing she did!"

apologize to

Whenever you are at war with someone else,

you are always at war withyourself,

The deep yourself.

your

When you

own

shame about your

guilt or

guilt or

are self-righteous

your war against

feelings is

with someone

else to avoid feeling

much

shame, you are fighting yourself as

fighting the other person. a dual battle

too.

becomes

all

you are

as

You have probably already discovered that such consuming and

self-destructive

— a war you can

never win. In the midst of this complex

how do you

create healing so

web

of intense

and

you can move on? Simply forgiving yourself

cuts through everything and returns you to a state of simplicity. "I forgive myself for feeling hurt.

hatred.

I

is

hatred.

I

I

forgive myself for anger

to give forth compassion,

comfortable with different wording:

midst of this pain.

I

empowerment and and

from the true heart of my being."

forgive myself for separating

Or, because forgiving

emotion,

difficult

"I

you may

feel

more

give myself compassion in the

give myself compassion in the midst of

my

anger or

give myself compassion for having been separated so easily from

my true self by what someone else said or did." Truly giving yourself compassion

you have been wronged or but

genuine,

glowing

softening, your battle rigid

— not

self-pity for

compassion

how

self-righteousness for

how

terrible the ordeal has been,

— softens

everything.

With

armor begins to melt; your war stance becomes

that less

because you are gaining a truer power. As you continue feeling

compassion

for yourself, the

happen gently and naturally

war stance as

will soften even more.

It

will

you are ready to move into your greater

strength.

So

hand

it is

of

a matter of extending,

compassion to

self.

myself in the midst of

moment,

I

want

to be

it.

"Yes,

from the midst of that position of war, a I

feel

the pain, and

Even though

open to

it

may

I

give compassion to

feel

impossible at this

my unlimited love of self. want to I

reclaim

ENLIVENED EMOTION

my

the love that streams through

being and unites

me with

all

143

other

beings in peace and truth."

Keep

in

mind

that

current experiences of hate carry a hidden

all

when you

registry of previous, formative experiences similarly devastating separation

that

is

truly only of the

from true

moment.

self.

felt

forced into

You never experience hate

All hate carries the

memory and burden

of unresolved outrage at having lost your conscious experience of true self in the past. So, a current conflict that brings

hatred

may be an

you to unbearable rage or

excellent opportunity to begin deeper healing of your

past.

When you

feel

you find yourself automatically in

a

war

stance from which

unable to release either yourself or the person you hate, pay close

attention.

You may

notice that your feelings of hate seem to go beyond

the current situation, trailing into your past so deeply that you no longer

have clear images or memories to go with the

compassion to yourself and your armor being separated from true

Perhaps even your

initial

self

feelings.

As you extend

softens, earlier experiences of

may come forward

be recognized.

to

experience of separation from true

self will

reveal itself for healing.

Remember that your hate need not closeyou down; it

can remindyou of compassion andgiveyou the opportunity to heal some powerful feelings.

Your way through the unbearable pain

more than anything, you want

of hating

to

know

that,

to regain your experience of true self

urdimited being. You want true

self

and

even more than you want revenge,

even more than you want your "enemies" to

finally see

or flawed they have been. Your desire for the divinity

is

how

unhmited

wrong, bad.

love, peace,

and

you truly are becomes most important. This alignment

priorities brings

you to

a position of

of

power; your energies are directed

with true purpose.

You may

find that your energy system

is

not quite strong enough to

hold that alignment of priorities for very long at a time. That's

all right.

COMING HOME

144

Frequency matters more than choose true

sustainability.

even for periods as brief as a few seconds, the more often

self,

your energy system adjusts and strengthens

becomes If

The more frequently you

Then, over time,

itself.

it

easier to maintain the true self experience for longer periods.

you have lived decades with

a habit of going into

you are threatened, your energy pattern being at war.

It

well developed to support your

may take time for your energy system to and

to the pattern of compassion

which could be yourself.

is

war posture when

forgiveness. In that period of transition,

days, weeks, months, or even years,

The time

it

restructure itself

be patient with

takes your system to restructure will ultimately

enable you to hold the experience of true

continuously in your daily

self

and unhmited being more

life.

Be aware that your personality may periodically object to

on forgiveness and reconnection with true

self.

The personality has been

conditioned to

self -righteousness or self-pity so it

other people be

made

to see

what they did wrong,

therefore,

worthy

it

is

may

insist that

still

or be punished, or be

shamed, or be made to apologize, and so on. There your personality;

this focus

no need to

is

silence

an expression of your consciousness and

of being heard.

your personality's greatest

skill is

But you

may want

to

not in bringing you

remember

Home

is,

that

to greater

truth and inner connection. Let's take a

moment

to bring the ego into this discussion. Ego

more commonly used term than

is

a

our purposes they are

personality, yet for

the same and can be used interchangeably.

Because of the various psychological and spiritual usages of the term ego,

you may tend to think

of

your ego as a problem, maybe a

centeredness or something you must overcome spiritual enlightenment. Let's not

ego

is

if

self-

you want to attain

frame ego that way. For our purposes,

simply the part of your mind that adapted long ago to losing your

connection to true

been responsible

self. It

for

became the leader

your survival in limited

in that state of loss

reality.

Everything your ego thinks and perceives separation and limitation. desires

To your

and has

is

in the

context of

ego, true self is not real. Therefore,

and actions that come from your ego never

fully take into

account

ENLIVENED EMOTION

that unity and unlimited love are possible. In short, your ego can

how to

tell

operate in a limited world without your connection to true

cannot show you

how

to reconnect. For that you

your ego and invite your true in the midst of hate

So you yourself.

is

of injuries

self; it

must extend beyond

the way. Forgiving yourself

begins primarily in your relationship with

yourself with the gifts of your

own

heart frees you

seems others have caused you. As you receive your

it

forgiveness, or compassion, forgiving others effect of your

you

a powerful invitation.

see, forgiveness

Empowering

show you

self to

145

happens naturally as

own

a side

own healing.

9 MEDITATION Forgiveness

1.

Close your eyes, and breathe easily and

each breath

Enjoy the 2.

fill

love,

you with

and allow it

When you

forgiving.

a feeling or

to

fully.

As you breathe,

image of love, even

if it is

let

7

very subtle.

grow within you.

whom you

have

difficulty

Imagine this person coming forward and facing you

at a safe

are ready, think of

distance. Let yourself feel

how

someone

uncomfortable

it feels

to hold feelings of

blame, hate, frustration, or resentment toward this person. 3.

As you

face this person,

make only

the following change in the

situation: Breathe love into yourself again. This love is not necessarily for

the other person:

It is

for you.

You

are being filled

the feeling of love, the thought of love. for yourself, 4.

"I

true self to suffering.

I

.

.

light of love,

Each breath gives you more love

even as you remain in the presence of the other person.

From

following:

.

with the

this presence

give love fill

with

love,

and compassion

me with

think or speak phrases like the to myself right now."

its light." "I forgive

allow myself to be healed by love."

myself for

"I

my

allow

my

pain and

COMING HOME

146

5.

Feel the

meaning

of your

words take

effect as

you think or speak

them. Stay with feelings of love, compassion, forgiveness, and healing for as long as

you

like.

Now imagine that the other person fades, disappears, or walks out of your image. When you are ready to come out of this meditation, 6.

.

.

.

your compassion for yourself comes with you into the world. As you open your eyes, the love and healing remain; they are truly within you now.

36

Anger Your exploration of love will matter

how many

some point bring you

to anger's door.

No

techniques you learn for loving yourself and others,

sooner or later you must learn to find your

at

make your peace with anger. Your challenge is to

way of receiving the glorious light

of life even

when you

are angry.

There

is

something

nothing wrong with being angry. Anger can inappropriate

perspective)

is

happening

or

threatening

in a situation

(from

your

alert

you that

personality's

and can mobilize your energy to

take constructive action. Yet because anger

is

usually expressed in

distorted and destructive ways, and because anger often activates the

personality and blocks awareness of the unconditionally loving

people

feel that

anger

Understand that

is

You can never be

is

spiritual

truly separate from spirit because

and serves

At the personality

you and everything

arc spirit. So, every experience, including

a high purpose.

level, it is

specific issues that trigger

up

thought and feeling you can have.

your body and every aspect of your personality.

about you, including anger, anger,

important for you to deal with the

your anger. Sometimes this will mean standing

for yourself in a conflict or a threatening situation.

may need

to assess

many

not a "spiritual" experience.

spirit is in every

Spirit is in every cell of

self,

whether your anger

is

Other times you

really related to the situation

ENLIVENED EMOTION

that triggered If

or

it

is

147

an old emotional pattern that no longer serves you.

you have trouble knowing

how

anger (or with your response to someone assistance from a wise

and

with your

to take appropriate action else's),

by

all

means

get

There are excellent books as

reliable source.

well as skilled therapists available to help you develop a healthy relationship with anger. ritual of

It is

worth pursuing and

is

honoring and clearing your personality so

part of the life-long it

can serve you on

your path of growth. For now,

leave the psychological aspects of anger as well as its

let's

appropriate expression. (These

may need to be explored in circumstances

that give you the ongoing support you need.) Instead, energetic aspect of anger and

let's

focus on the

how you can open to the vitality it carries.

The vitality of life force is within

all

emotion;

this vitality is your birthright

When you will find in

it

life. It all

allow yourself to have the vitality within your anger, you

easier to allow yourself to have everything else

comes down to allowing life force

Because

life

you to physical

force

is

to flow through you.

the basic energy flow of

reality, literally giving

you

you truly want

life

life, it is

what connects

and enabling you to be

present and active in the physical world. Holding back or stopping your life

force

would be

foolish, ludicrous!

flow of energy that gives you

vitality

existence? Yet,

when your

you do not

your anger through in

let

anger

is

works against you, separating you

Why would you

want

to stop the

and sustains your physical

denied, your vitality also

is

denied.

If

way,

it

a clean, open, life- affirming

energetically from the

world you came

here to embrace.

This does not angry. Vitality

is

mean that

to allow yourself vitality

experienced in

all

you must always be

emotions and states of being. You

have a wide repertoire! But by denying or withholding your anger you

deny yourself part of your basic connection with

life.

COMING HOME

148

If anger seems negative to you,

you arc probably thinking of distorted anger.

Anger

in its pure

form

is

not rageful, dangerous, or violent.

It is

pent up, misdirected, or discharged in emotional attack. Pure anger feeling that creates a conduit for energy

your system.

and flushes the

life

not is

a

force through

an extending energy, connecting people rather than

It is

separating them, prompting communication rather than isolation or

Pure anger can be as powerful as love or joy in opening your

conflict.

heart and healing your body, and restoring healthy connection between

you and

others.

Why, then, is anger so often experienced as negative and destructive?

We live in a culture where the personality perceives itself as separate from true

on the

heavily

extent

self

it

and unconditional well-being. To compensate, ability to

be

"in control"

and

it

relies

trusts emotions only to the

can remain in control of them. This need for control prevents us

from trusting emotions that convey life force powerfully and are harder to control.

Because the personality force, life

power

of

is

unaware that we

all

are truly one

force seems separate from us and bigger than life force,

whatever control

which we cannot

we may

control,

is

have established in

anger, that are naturally strong conductors of

we

with

are.

life

So the

perceived as a threat to life.

life

Emotions, such as

force are feared

and

generally are not well managed.

As

a culture

we

have worked so hard

at controlling anger that often

we mistake even the faintest feeling of anger — ours or other people's — for the need to have greater control, and we react at that level. So, either expressing our anger or facing other people's anger can easily turn into a

we try to

control others or to keep from being controlled by

battle

where

them.

We may fling our anger at people through a litany of complaints or

subtle manipulation in an attempt to control them, the situation, or our vulnerability

—instead of allowing our anger to show us how much we

want well-being and connection. Perhaps that

is

what you

do, or perhaps

you keep your anger bottled

ENLIVENED EMOTION

up

to ensure

you don't use

it

anger, that energy doesn't go away;

must go somewhere,

often

it

The energy

expression.

used

unconsciously

of

When you

destructively.

is

it's

an

alive,

149

resist or disallow

moving

force.

Because

it

rerouted into a less clear and less direct

disowned anger can be turned inward and

against

yourself.

Fatigue,

depression,

illness,

hopelessness, insecurity, and emotional defensiveness are

some

of the

possible results.

may have unknowingly adopted such

You

emotional pattern early in

a

self-destructive

Perhaps in your family no one tolerated

life.

being the recipient of your anger, so you learned not to express others. It

may have been

it

to

acceptable, however, for you to turn your anger

against yourself through self-criticism or self-hatred.

gotten the message that

if

you were angry

at

You may even have

someone, you actually

deserved to have something bad happen to you because of

it.

This

conditioning could have set the pattern for the energy of your anger to

come back to you in destructive ways. Considering the narrow range of options the culture natural that you

irony

is

may resist your

anger as well as the anger of others. The

that in the fight to maintain control, you have forgotten anger's

You have

real purpose!

forgotten that anger

and connection rather than forgotten that anger to

offers, it is

open more

a

of alienation

all

it

energy of communication

and opposition. You have

powerful feeling that triggers your energy system

fully to life force.

flow of life force as

what life is

is

is a

You have forgotten

that being open to the

streams through your body and opens you

to true self'is

about and is, therefore, more important than "winning" any

battle.

Asyou develop

the ability to receive the pure,

vital energy within anger,

you open

As the energy energy there

is.

to a powerful

of creation, vital

So in

its

life

new healing source.

force

is

the most profound healing

pure form, anger is a healing energy rather than a

destructive one. Because few people have learned to be open to and

COMING HOME

50

accepting of undistorted anger, few people realize the tremendous healing

power it

carries.

Exploring this element of anger requires that you hold a clear focus

and pay

You need

attention.

a strong, conscious

commitment

to self to

stay present and follow through on the progression of feelings and

experiences that will emerge. As you open to the pure vitality of anger,

many

life

in

you will find yourself beginning to open to pure experience

at

other levels as well. Vitality links you to true

self,

and the

effects of

that connection are always far-reaching.

A

primary step in opening to the

when you

are angry,

up

anger

you have tremendous energy

you have choice about yourself

vitality of

how you

direct

it.

to notice that

your disposal and

at

You can use

is

that energy to

dam

deaden yourself, hold yourself back, think abusive

inside,

thoughts about yourself, or send

it

out toward other people in similarly

destructive ways. Or, you can receive the gift of vitality that comes with that emotion

and be enlivened by

enriching your

Anger

is

life

it.

That

vitality

then nourishes you,

and your relationships with other people.

an emotion and a physiological response in the body.

Whether you use the emotion in

a destructive

directly affects the chemistry of your body,

way or a life-affirming way

which

in turn enhances or

diminishes your physical, mental, emotional, and energetic well-being.

Your choice

makes

all

in interpreting

the difference.

If

and directing the energy

this choice is not

made

of anger

consciously,

it

is

happens

unconsciously from your long held patterns of habit. Whichever occurs,

what

way

it

your choice determines whether you move into increased

experiences of vibrant

Me or into depletion.

Underneath anger is usually a feeling of helplessness.

Even

may

if

you are not consciously in touch with

it,

that helplessness

cause you to overlook the true power you always have in anger: the

power power.

to choose

Few

life.

You probably

are not trained to recognize such

parents say to their angry children, "You are angry.

strong feeling, and

I

want you

to notice

how much power you

It's

have.

a

You

ENLIVENED EMOTION

have a choice to use this power in that?

What would

you."

If

a life-affirming

be a good way? Talk to

you did not get

this support

from

me

way.

about

a parent,

How can you and

it,

5

1

do

will help

I

you can learn to give

it

to yourself.

When

you

become present with

yourself. Consciously notice that, in spite of

distressing emotion that at a point of

when you

may seem to have

pattern.

Watch

yourself,

"Do

of

you are

you may discover some resistance to

are angry.

a life of its

Your habituated reaction to

own and may be difficult to

may

your resistance.

want

I

do

for

I

be attached to the

also

want

to go to

It is

may

be,

familiarity of

your

old:

natural. Notice

with the resistance

make

a

stop, even

it

moment. As impractical and uncomfortable

unconsciously you

pattern, or

circulating through your system,

this thought,

claiming your power

for just a

may be

any

power. You have the power of choice.

As you focus on

anger

stop briefly and take a few deep breaths to

feel angry,

this time

as

it

and then ask

and keep the old

change and remember that

I

am at

a point

power here?" Of course, the power

is

not power over the person or situation that

the focus for your upset feelings.

It is

the

power

is

of being able to choose

how much affirmation of life you will carry in your body.

That

is far

more

important than any issue you are likely to be angry about.

Because the cultural patterning of anger is so strong, it is

easy to get stuck arguing the issues

and trying to gain and maintain

control.

Imagine, for example, that you are in an argument with someone and

your temper

flares.

You

are

your anger to intimidate,

tempted to

fall

into your old pattern of using

belittle, or find fault

with your adversary to win

the argument and, therefore, avoid the feeling of being defeated yourself.

Or perhaps your tendency

make

is

to pretend you are not angry, to sulk, or to

the other person feel guilty so they will retreat. In these cases, the

pure energy of your anger of vitality. In this

is

misdirected,

compromised

state,

which

you have

short-circuits your flow literally forgotten

your

152

COMING HOME

source of true well-being, and this control in an argument

is

worth the cost

a very real loss to you. Is gaining

of diminished vitality to your

own

system?

Learning to give anger giving

up

through

expression,

which includes

control over others, allows the pure vitality of anger to stream

all levels

your body. This in example,

its natural, direct

if

of your being, nourishing

and

revitalizing every cell in

one definition of "winning" in an argument. For

itself is

the other person's opinion or decision prevails, you can have

the personal victory of walking

away with

vibrant

life

that

not

is

dependent on the outcome of the argument.

mean you must always make an

either/or

choice between inner, personal victory and outer effectiveness.

You need

This certainly does not

not retreat or be passive in a conflict to maintain your energetic integrity. In fact, staying

and

open to

force can increase your ability to

life

empowered within

yourself,

to

communicate with the strength or passion you

What you may

new

Learning

it

ground,

and

to

feel.

need to do, however,

misdirection of anger as options.

your

hold

be centered

is

start

your

noticing

happens and then give yourself some new

techniques

for

healthy

and

containment

expression of anger can help tremendously. Also, choosing vitality often in your

life

and becoming familiar with what

it

feels like in a variety of

situations can establish a recognizable base of well-being,

return to

which you can

when you become angry.

The bottom you the outer

line is that

results

sometimes your expression of anger will get

you want and sometimes

it

will not. Yet,

experience has one basic purpose: to bathe you with unlimited

you accept receiving

this

life

truth,

force

revitalizing yourself

becomes your highest

by being

priority.

life.

fully

all

When

open to

You can then choose

your response to every situation based on what would enhance your flow of true vitality

As you

and well-being rather than diminish it.

live

with

dealing with anger behavior.

You

this clear, aligned intention, other people's

may become

are unplugging

less relevant as

models

for

ways

your

of

own

from the culturally held consciousness

about anger. While the cultural beliefs

still

include the unconscious

ENLIVENED EMOTION

assumption that anger equals an inner use anger as a vehicle for vibrant

153

you are beginning to

loss or death,

life.

At the moment when

they are at a point ofpower,

most people have no idea of the magnificent choice they face.

Given conscious choice, most people would choose increased vibrancy; yet relatively there.

Without

tend to

let

few actually realize that

know

life force.

the difference between being

even subtle restriction of the

depletion.

Some people

life

life

force

react to anger as though

reaction to anger that

is

recognized as threatens their life

force in

own

as well as other people's,

fear.

Unplugging from

If

life

the true threat. Without understanding this

dynamic, people respond to anger, their

your

enhanced or

is it

and people

The body and

flow of

survival. Ironically, it is the act of restricting their

with

can take them

a greater awareness, cultural habit prevails

anger restrict their flow of vibrant

energy system deprived;

their anger

life;

again

it is

that happens,

it

this cultural pattern

means

natural that your personality

may

a

profound change in

may

display resistance.

help to stop, take a deep breath, and then briefly

lend a compassionate ear to the resistance. Hear what the voice of resistance has to say,

and take notes

for

it.

Write

few words, perhaps

a

even two or three sentences, to capture the message. This allows the resistance to be expressed If

and then released onto paper.

the resistance returns, gently repeat the procedure as needed.

Important information about your inner process and your personality's needs

may be

revealed to you in this way. By expressing, hearing, and

releasing the resistance, you are redirecting its flow. in a closed circuit, keeping

you stuck.

and then pass through, leaving you

Remember,

resistance to

free to

than you have had in the past. protect you.

no longer operates

make new choices.

empowering change comes from the aspect

of the personality that does not yet

tries to

It is

It

being trained to inform you

It

know you

can have more fulfillment

operates from habit and limitation and

COMING HOME

154

As a creation ofyour unlimited spirit, your personality worthy of being loved and honored;

is

you just don't have to believe it as you once did.

Honor your

personality by hearing

its

concerns; then take another

deep breath and go back to your point of power. Feel your anger and consider your choice consciously.

When

I

can choose to

you are

may sometimes

may

still

a powerful energy

me or shut me down. Vibrant life or slow depletion. Which do I choose?"

through me. deadness.

feel

"I

let it

enliven

Vitality or

at this point of considering aliveness or depletion, it

feel

impossible to choose aliveness. The old conditioning

be too strong. Your inner

of personal failure

moving

on your

part. It

may

self-critic

may

interpret this as a sign

say that you are a

weak

person,

that you are not enlightened enough, that you do not deserve to feel good,

or something equally deflating.

The content

of these critical messages is

What is more

usually not true and does not matter anyway.

evaluating your self-worth

when you

simply being honest with yourself about

are choosing aliveness

When

still

could have

and when you

you choose depletion, you

are simply doing

you can

is

what you

are doing.

You can

which choice you

still

is

You

accept yourself. In

fact,

bad

with conscious awareness

making while giving yourself acceptance, support,

and love in that moment is

The good news

choice.

a

though you may wish you

a different choice. Noticing

are

are choosing depletion.

making

are not

full-heartedly love yourself, even

made

helpful than

in itself significant

that you are

all

empowerment.

right regardless of the choice

you

make. There are no good choices or bad choices in life. There are ones that bring you into empowering experience of vital

diminish that experience, but there

is

life

force

and choices that

no good and bad. All the choices

you make are done with unlimited blessing from unlimited beings. And all

those choices, absolute love and

truly are, regardless of

life

force are

what you experience

still

in the

the core of

in

who you

moment when you

take your action.

There

is

restricts the

nothing wrong with you flow of

vitality

when you make

through your being. In

fact,

a choice that

giving yourself

ENLIVENED EMOTION

155

acceptance and love in that situation nourishes your system and lays circuitry that will enable

you to make

next time, or the next, or the next.

life-affirming decision the

you catch yourself being unable to

new, life- affirming way, then breathe, remember the

direct your anger in a

love that you are,

If

more

a

new

and pat yourself on the back

for being

an excellent

human being who is pursuing the exploration of limitation. If

you believe that anger

yourself to open to

it,

destructive,

is

it

may be

know

even though you

difficult to

allow

that anger carries vital

healing force. Be very patient, gentle, and loving with yourself and take

the process slowly.

you are

If

overwhelmed, or have

at risk of being

new

reason to fear your patterns of anger, or need

input to develop

healthy expressions for this powerful emotion, support yourself by getting qualified outside help.

Anger it is

is

not always comfortable, but

allowed to move through as the

weapon. Anger can be through freely

When close

you

that feeds

is

not

far

more comfortable when

vitality of life rather

something negative or dangerous. Anger yourself or others, but that

it is

is

its real

a healing force

dangerous

purpose.

when

its

if

you use

it

against

not meant to be a

It is

energy

than resisted as

is

allowed to flow

— and even gently— as a way to connect you with Source.

you can allow yourself to

off to yourself or others,

and nurtures you, you

to the vitality of

life

feel

anger in a

way

that does not

but instead opens you to the

will not fear anger so

in your physical body.

of your spirit into physical experience,

which

You is

force

much. In opening

within anger, you are opening to true

becoming more present

life

self

while

are bringing the truth

the essential purpose of

your journey into form.

ATTUNEMENT Staying

You

are setting

new

patterns,

Aware in Anger

which require

repetition.

New

experience

has to be real to the body before the automatic emotional responses can

COMING HOME

156

genuinely change. During the time of repatterning, staying conscious and

witnessing your choices will help.

through the following

When

anger surfaces, you can go

steps:

1.

Feel the vibrant energy.

2.

Recognize that you are

3.

Notice that you have a choice to enhance or restrict your flow of

at a point of

power.

life force.

Become

4.

clear

on what constructive action will best support your

well-being and vibrant aliveness. 5.

Stay aware as you take whatever constructive action you choose.

6.

Give yourself acceptance and notice

how it feels.

9 MEDITATION Healing Through Anger

The following meditation can

give

of energetic response to anger.

increments of perhaps is

best to choose times

anger, so far into

in

you practice in

are not feeling strong or

anger that you lose control.

(Note:

If

It

overwhelming

You need

to be able to guide yourself

gently. Consider having

someone it

else

with you to

yourself.

while doing this visualization you sense that your feelings of

may become

too uncomfortable or intense, simply stop.

eyes, breathe gently

go.

in small

minutes every few days or weeks.

support or guide you until you're comfortable doing

love.

it

you have some range within which to maneuver. Do not move so

and out of the anger

anger

your patterns

You can experiment with

five to fifteen

when you

shifting

and

easily for a

few moments, and bathe yourself

Give yourself compassion for having gone as

Honor your

that balances

limits

and do not push

and nourishes

Open your

you., or talk

far as

yourself.

with

a

in

you were ready to

Move

into an activity

support person.)

ENLIVENED EMOTION

1.

when you were

Begin by imagining a situation

remember

a real-life situation, or

few moments

yourself a

some

overwhelm you, but just enough 2.

to

makes you angry

to flow through your

the anger. Vitality

the

medium

vitality

3.

for

it.

is

remember how anger feels....

feel

is

not to change the

is

mind

simply to allow the vitality of

body and your energy system along with is

just

Gently allow your energy system to open so you....

the anger, yet you don't have to put

words. You don't have to interact

now

the main experience, and the anger

streams through

You can

— not enough to

or to change anyone else's

or actions. Instead, your purpose life

situation form in your

of the anger

Also imagine that your purpose right situation that

You may

you may make one up. Give

to let the

imagination.... Let yourself feel

angry.

157

with anyone. In

fight.

this

You

it

into action or

don't have to convince or

moment, you

are simply in that

situation to experience the nurturing flow of vitality that anger carries.

4.

There

is

plenty of space for the vitality to

system. This energy, or

As

flows,

it

brings

life

it

feeds

life force,

move through your

has a natural

and nourishes every

wisdom of its own.

cell in

your body.

and radiance into your being. Absorb and accept

It

this

healing force. 5.

Now imagine that the angry situation you were facing disappears into light. All stress disappears with

enough to cleanse you frustration, vitality

6.

of

it.

The

any residue

or discomfort, leaving you

light lingers long

of

anger,

washed with

conflict,

radiant

and well-being.

When you are ready to come out of your meditative state, breathe fully

and become aware of your body. Then slowly open your

eyes, stretch

and move, and get up when you are ready.

9

COMING HOME

58

ATTUNEMENT Healing Through Anger: Short Version After you feel familiar with the meditation and are comfortable

guiding yourself through

open consciously to

the next step

is

to

process while you are already feeling anger.

It

can be done in a minute or

two

it,

— or even a few breaths.

easily

manageable

this

Start in a situation involving a very low,

As you

level of anger.

are successful,

you can slowly

work up to more challenging situations. If

you find that

or balances

more

it,

effective

this exercise increases

your anger rather than soothes

stop the exercise and turn to a self-soothing process that

and constructive

for you.

To

is

practice using the vitality in

anger in a healing way, the anger cannot be so strong as to overwhelm you.

1.

Pause for

a

moment and

take a few deep, easy breaths.

With

those breaths turn your awareness to the gentle vitality in anger.

2.

Allow the vitality to flow through your system in way.

It

does not escalate your anger, but soothes or balances

Let yourself feel this positive

and nourishing your 3.

4.

a natural, gentle

cells

life

force flowing through your

body

and tissues.

Know that you are experiencing a healing energy you how to constructive deal with the situation. As you

it.

that can

show

close this exercise, take three gentle breaths while

imagining that the love that you are

is

radiating through you.

ENLIVENED EMOTION

59

1

CLARK Clark swaggered into

my

shouldered, and muscular in a

Clean

good looking, and confident, he was

cut,

him chopping wood. His

picture

We

He was thirty-something, tall, broad way that says, "Yeah, I work out. A lot."

office.

a guy's guy;

face looked open, like

and shook hands, but

said our Hello's, smiled,

the visceral wake-up

when

I

wasn't

fear, just

matter

how convincing this individual's persona looks,

I

get

it

had no

was on

could

I

secrets. alert. It

"No

instinct tells me, there's

something

different underneath."

As our session girlfriend, a client of

started Clark told

mine, thought

it

me

he was there because

his

might help their relationship. She

thought he had problems with emotional intimacy.

He went on

to say

He didn't know why, but whenever he started to get close woman he would pull away. He really loved this girlfriend and felt

that he agreed. to a

drawn

to build a future

would

get confused and then say or do things that created distance

with

her,

but whenever he thought about

between them. He wondered if he ever was going

down and became

he didn't think he had any

he

to be capable of settling

enjoying a committed relationship. As

clear that

it

asked questions

I

fears; his

only problem

it

was

that this mystifying dynamic kept occurring.

Our conversation turned easily

to his

work

as a police officer.

He

talked

about the challenges of the job and his commitment to serving his

community. officers,

He went on

to tell

me

about his camaraderie with his fellow

the importance of keeping emotions in check, and the necessity

of reacting to situations according to procedure.

As he described some

the dangerous situations he took in stride daily, pretty scary." "No," he replied,

"I

I

said,

of

"That sounds

don't really feel scared."

When we talked about how violent and irrational some of the people he had arrested had been, his easy going manner disappeared, and tone quickly became reproachful. These were deserved whatever punishment they got,

wondered. Yes, pretty much, he was

terrible,

was his

certain.

awful people

his

who

opinion. "All of them?"

I

COMING HOME

60

He began a

story he

was

sure

would convince me.

night, seven or eight years previously,

Soon into the

street.

(that he

was

Clark couldn't find words bad enough

story,

willing to say in front of

was the worst

of the worst,

he and his partner had been trying

man who had been threatening people

to arrest an out-of-control, violent

on the

In the middle of the

scum

me)

to describe the man. "This guy

of the earth. People like

him

are hardly

human," was his sentiment.

"We were He was

hold.

trying to cuff him, but he

He

high on something.

was too

felt

no

and

violent to catch

pain,

and there was no

reasoning with him." Clark paused to inhale. "That son-of-a-bitch had a knife.

My partner turned away for a split second, just a split second, to open

the car door, and that #*+&*!! charged at him."

Words poured all

happened too

him.

I

had no

out of him now.

fast.

choice.

I

"My

partner didn't have a chance,

The guy was going

to stab him; he

HAD to save my partner!

I

was going

pulled the trigger.

He went down instantly." crumbled. He stared at me dumbfounded

to I

it

kill

shot

that slimy, no-good #*+&*!! Clark's

continued, sidewalk.

while

face

shot

"I'd

We

him

in the stomach,

called for an

and

his

blood was

all

he

as

over the

ambulance and tried to stop the bleeding

we waited, but" — sobs were

starting to break free

—

"it

was no

use,

that bastard died within minutes." Clark's face

was

in his

hands

now as

the weight he had been carrying

pressed on him. Sobs shook his shoulders, freeing the grief and torment

he had kept strapped

and make him feel. "I

down

I still

eyes wide. "Underneath, he I

those years so

it

was

didn't still

want

to kill him." His face lifted,

a person.

wanted to be someone who helped, not

hiding and no holding

down

I

killed a person.

anything to keep

it still

with mine as tears and words flowed.

and

A

real

killed."

now in a free release of tears. back. No keeping the feelings at

His grief gushed out

strapping

wouldn't reach his heart

When the flood of feelings came, Clark didn't resist.

hated that guy, but

person!

all

There was no bay.

silent. Clark's

No more

eyes stayed

ENLIVENED EMOTION

"I

had to protect

wanted

my partner, but I didn't want to kill anybody.

to kill anybody."

As Clark talked

shoulders dropped, bravado

mystified, not quite sure "Is

never

I

softened, his

asked.

I

He nodded, but seemed

how he had gotten there. what

possible that after you shot that man, and he died,

it

disturbed you most

6

was gone.

possible you're feeling grief?"

"Is it

body

on, his

1

was not how

horrible a person he

had been, but how

horrible your grief felt?" "Yes..."

no

Clark's

words emerged

idea. Grief for that

"And

surprise,

man,

for the life

grief for myself.

been broken ever

slowly, his voice low,

I

lost

his heart.

self,

nurturing that

had no

He looked

at

idea,

me with

My heart has

since." let his

When he nodded he was there,

into his true

lost."

something that night.

asked Clark to close his eyes and

I

he

"I

I

awareness settle gently in

continued guiding him deeper,

into that aspect of his being that

it is

is

so all-loving

and

all-

not afraid of broken hearts, or shootings, or grief that

feels

too big. Clark breathed into his true

that

had waited

at the outskirts of

years to be signaled that

it

was

and tears mingled. Then peace

safe

and

self

sighed. Big sighs, sighs

anger and judgment seven or eight

now and

they were welcome. Sighs

settled in.

When Clark opened his eyes, he looked at me with calm. The current of

emotion had carried him Home, to true

of comfort

and compassion, to gentle

shores.

Clark talked more about the incident, little

encouragement he had gotten

self,

how

it

to his ever present source

With new had

at his job to

self-compassion,

affected him,

and how

T

show his pain. Noticeably

absent from the rest of our conversation was any more judgment or disgust about the difficult and dangerous "bad guys" so plentiful in his

work.

It

wasn't necessary anymore.

No wonder his girlfriend;

To keep

Clark had had trouble being emotionally intimate with

he had put up a barrier to emotional intimacy with himself.

his grief at

bay he had had to keep himself out of

His source of deepest

love, vulnerability,

his

own heart.

and connection to people,

to

all

people— girlfriends and bad guys and everyone in between—had been

off

162

COMING HOME

limits.

He had kept

to the outer periphery of that barrier, where, like at

the edge of a solar system, conditions that nourish

humans

are absent.

We often forget that our primary, human relationship is not with our romantic partner;

with our

it's

self.

The more intimately present we

are

we can be with others. Connecting intimacy we can have. Emotion, even anger

with ourselves, the more intimate with true

self is

the deepest

and judgment, can take us

there.

Expressing our emotions in a safe environment

—whether

telling

our

story to a caring, compassionate person, writing in our journal, or simply

speaking out loud kindly to ourselves true self all

us.

our

that

is

feelings, all

True

hearts,

if

self is

and the

where we want to our

stories, all

when we're

go.

True

alone

self is

our fears that

life

— can carry us to

big enough to cradle

might be too much for

the source of the love and compassion

safety

we need to live there.

we

have in our

Part VII

9

MY STORY CONTINUES Painting

37

Breakthrough

In 1999

was struck by

I

sudden and

a

Certain for the previous 30 years that

be one because school art class, art

I

consuming desire to

was not

paint.

and could never

a painter

way we had been taught in high I was intimidated by my new desire. Just walking into an I

couldn't paint the

supply store made

could see that

I

all

me

sweat.

had never held

was

I

a canvas,

sure the people working there

was

in

awe

of the

word "palette",

how to squirt paint from a tube. I felt marked as an someone who didn't belong in the world of art.

and didn't even know outsider,

Scared as

I

was,

I

took a three-day, outdoor painting workshop. The

only novice in the group,

I

was mostly ignored while

helped her more advanced students.

hour or two to get her help, so

by myself turned out

experimented

To my I

to be a blessing because

was no

composition, there

I

got stuck

stopped asking. Being

such things

about

instruction

I

When

as

"right"

it

way

had to

left

was my

perspective,

I

the instructor to wait an

flail

flailing.

around

Without

shadow, and

light,

of painting to limit me,

and

I

freely.

surprise

I

fell

profoundly in love with the acrylic paint (which

was able to squeeze from the tube after

The blobs

all!).

of thick,

wet

my palette, momentarily still before swooshing across the universe of my canvas, colliding and combining into creations wouldn't have known how to plan. Applying the paint was colors

were

like little

worlds on

I

luscious, sensuous,

and exciting

in a

way that I had never known creative

expression could be. Ecstasy happened on the third day. As

through fire.

my body with

Oddly,

I

release

I

didn't mind;

some

had

painted, joy streamed

such intensity that the bottoms of it

was

two, the buildup of vibrancy in contain, so

I

a glorious

of the energy.

on

kind of pain. But every hour or

my body became

to stop painting

my feet felt

too uncomfortable to

and jump up and down

a

few times

to

166

COMING HOME

38 Integrating

After the workshop,

Immersed

My

I

turned

my

in painting every day,

true

and

coaching

self

I

bedroom

extra

thought of and talked about

which

classes,

continued, but other practicalities of

life

importance. Errands went undone, and

I

with a weak promise to Yet one errand

I

The very

supplies.

revisit

into a painting studio.

them

I

loved unwaveringly,

seemed

distant, of

minimal

stuffed bills into a desk drawer

"later."

performed enthusiastically was buying art

little else.

my painting

make me sweat and

store that used to

feel

now made me as happy as a toy store does a child. Now I felt at home there. It was my "Cheers" — I was a regular, and everybody greeted me by name. The owner, Mike, liked to tease me as we carried armloads of canvases to my car and then went back for the bags of paint, inadequate

"Next time, just back a truck up to the door!" After five realize that

I

months

I

notices for bills

me,

I

immersion in creative

had spent $3,000

with materials

for

of

felt like

my

to create

voraciously used, and that still

I

I

surfaced enough to

studio and keep

was

it

stocked

getting second Overdue

waiting in the drawer. Wonderful as painting was

an addict with a habit

couldn't afford.

I

Giving up painting was inconceivable, so

my work.

bliss,

Having no idea

how

did that,

artists

paintings into the car and took

it

them

I

was time packed

to start selling

17 of

my biggest

to an art gallery in town.

owners, Deanna and Dayla, were kind and gracious

The two

women who

gently

explained that artists usually submit photos rather than hauling in their goods, but they chose five paintings they thought might

which gave me the confidence elsewhere.

My work continued to

my beloved art supplies. From my state of painting 1)

Every painting or

thinks of

it, is

to sell,

a love letter

submit paintings

from true

Two did sell,

(via

photos!)

here and there, enough to pay for

abandon,

artistic creation,

sell.

I

developed a three-part theory.

no matter what the personality

self.

2) Surrounding ourselves

with

our creations imprints the loving messages into our subconscious mind.

MY STORY CONTINUES

enough imprints, the loving messages emerge into our

After

3)

personality's conscious awareness,

where they become integrated

our perception of ourselves, others, and

hung

my

all

167

paintings where

I

would

With

Life.

see

into

that theory in mind,

them and

I

get imprinted every

day.

One

months

night, nine

basking in the paintings

floor

True

walls.

slowed;

same

it

became

a joy to breathe.

was

feel a

I

much

is

feeling so

self

my

spoke.

my

weekly meetings in

later, in early

studio.

It

body, making

it

me

I

quietly It

simply became

so balanced that

heard clearly in

I

I

Three months

covered the

it

dawned

day."

w ay do when I'm doing true self channeling, for women with cancer." did.

room

breath deepened and

necessary);

r

I

living

We all need this. We're supposed 7

my true

my

could be happy, mine were.

was

chemotherapy ever}

The next moment,

on

relaxed and energized at the

felt

good and

natural chemotherapy.

to have this natural

sat

— and more so minute by minute.

(no jumping

more balanced. Soon I was

My

me.

If cells

and balanced

alive,

never became too

on me, "This

balance!

fill

chemical change occurring in

happy, relaxed,

I

— or loving messages — that

well-being began to

self

time. Balance.. it

could

workshop,

after the

my mind,

the

"Start a free painting group

2000, the

first

group began

its

was attended by wonderful women

turning to the healing power of creativity to face the challenge of a lifetime.

Although

sounding,

I

used

I

my

didn't talk about true self or

do channeling or

true self perspective and techniques to help the

women open to their true

self creativity

and

effortlessly find their natural

styles of painting.

Their paintings came flying out of them, released at last from the confines of "I'm not an

artist." Fears, struggles, pain,

well as loves, dreams, joys, and camaraderie It

was

all

beauty to me.

We

painting. Ever}7 painting,

tempted to judge

it,

adopted what

no matter

was fabulous

how

Some

of the

women with

— shone from their paintings. I

called the Fabulous! style of

the painter's

to the group

expression of something that had wanted to

and loneliness— as

mind might be

and celebrated

come out and be

as a perfect seen.

advanced cancer began to report, "The only

COMING HOME

68

time in

my week

I'm not in pain

and

is

when

I'm here painting."

was tapping the

that the group's creativity

true self well-being that

is

present in

all

years,

went by

and creative expression that

new

group grew, and

then

unconditional, unwavering,

of us at a level deeper than pain

as

filled

we

thrived in the flow of vibrant

the studio.

two public

sculptures.

felt

I

I

knew

it,

I

was

including the creation of

art,

organized the painting groups and art exhibits

I

into Arts for Healing, a nonprofit project sponsored

At the time of this writing

in 2010,

1

Healing (www.ArtsforHealing.com)

work

life

lucky to be there. The

groups were added. Before

coordinating exhibits of cancer survivors'

self

knew

suffering.

Months, then

for

I

still

by

a local hospital.

lead painting groups for Arts

— and

I

joyfully continue

teaching classes and doing private coaching. True

my true self is a

me in multiple directions.

fountain of inspiration that carries

39

What Happened From my first urge

my

direction

to paint, true self

now

year from

in early 1999,

helm taking me in

"A few months from

wouldn't have believed them.

I

at the

personality never could have predicted or designed.

someone had said to me painting,"

had been

you'll

be

If

a If

now you'll be

they had gone on to say, "A

your paintings, teaching painting in

selling

cancer support groups, and founding a nonprofit project to share the healing

power

that time activities

became

I

of art,"

I

would have thought them downright

did not think

would have even

a treasure

I

I

had the

ability to paint,

and none

interested me. Yet as each of

loved with

all

batty.

At

of those

them unfolded,

it

my heart, enriching my life more than I

ever could have imagined.

How did all that happen? I

1984,

had been nurturing

my personality's connection with true self since

which fast-tracked the development

known were

in

those years,

my

me and

of gifts

and

skills

I

hadn't

brought them to the surface. Also, throughout

ongoing true

self

channeling for clients fine-tuned

my

MY STORY CONTINUES

1

69

my own life — the subtle nudges and as well as the stronger messages — which helped me to recognize my next ability to follow true self

As always, true

steps as they appeared. offered

it

to me.

To my

I

guidance in

self

saw the bigger picture and

moved into it as I was ready.

surprise, the bigger picture included painting.

While I painted

my studio, I used my techniques for opening to true self, which took me straight to my creative core, softened my inner critic, flowed love through me while I was painting, and freed me. Like a luscious first lover, painting opened me to creative passion and carried me into territory once forbidden. As we do with first loves, in

I

assumed

I

would remain

in that relationship,

matured over the years,

forever. Yet, as the relationship

for

my

with

painting quieted and tapered

off,

and

I

fell

its full intensity, it

changed. Fervor

increasingly in love

with

facilitating other people's creative unfolding in the painting groups.

As

painted

I

my

less,

strong and engaged.

was

creativity did not lessen, however. It

discovered that

I

remained

my creativity was not in painting, it

in me. I

learned that creativity

source from which to in a painting group,

live.

not just a force to be expressed, but a

My creativity engages every time

do true

myself, negotiate a tense

is

self

channeling for a client or

moment

dinner, or simply navigate the

in every

moment.

When we

creativity, a quality

we

the material

Creativity

is

Creativity

itself.

of

self,

notice

class,

we

is

sound

infusing the it,

we

9

of.

cook

body and personality

usually think of

the creator of

are made

for

my day.

have and use. Yet our creativity

unhmited, intelligent force that

help people

in a conversation or relationship,

rhythm

Creativity emanates from true

I

all

is

things and

it

as our

the same all

beings.

We do not have creativity, we are

COMING HOME

170

LETTY PANG Letty applied paint

make her

by the

She had long ago stopped trying to

fistfuls.

paintings look like recognizable objects, people, or landscapes.

She painted the interiors of

herself,

knowing that she

didn't

conform to

any predictable images.

With hands

from her palette or asked

of acrylic paint reds,

protected by thin, latex gloves, Letty scooped big globs

and yellows

me

to squirt tubes of purples,

hour or more she

directly onto her palms. For an

pressed paint onto her three- or four-foot-tall canvas, silent except for the occasional

call,

"More

paint, please!" Chatter

among

other

women in

the

cancer support, painting group seemed to glide in an arc around her,

was

never entering or disturbing the globe of creative focus that temporarily her world. In that world, Letty

was

in a state of abandon.

day, confined to the tiny, careful, in people's

No

group.

for Letty.

A dental hygienist by

and regimented tasks she accomplished

mouths, Letty became a painting superhero once a week in our stroke

was too

bold,

Her super power was

Each week Letty would

no canvas too

no emotion too deep

Expressing Herself Without Holding Back.

arrive

almost didn't come," and then

tall,

fall

exhausted from work, "I'm so tired

into a state of creative reverie that

I

was

boundless. As she carried her completed painting out the door at the end of the evening, she'd say,

Whenever words

I've

I

"I

knew I'd feel better if I came. I always do."

asked Letty what her painting state

felt like,

heard other people choose to describe their most profound,

spiritual experiences:

"Freedom, total freedom." "No

effort."

"Fun." "I'm not thinking, I'm just experiencing." "Exploring." doing,

it's

she used

a happening."

space inside me." "Everything

is

"I

"A bigger part of

feel all potentials

me comes

happening

"Happy." "It's

not a

out." "There's big

at once." "Beauty."

okay."

Breast cancer and a mastectomy had brought Letty to the painting

group. She had

come

thinking,

hadn't finished the sentence: she did

it

"I

"I

can't paint," only to find out she simply

can't paint anyone's

her way, not only could Letty paint, she

way but my own"

was

set free.

When

Part VIII

9

LIVING THE SPLIT Redefining Destiny

40 Heeding the Call True

self is calling to

of true self

Sometimes bliss.

is

we

us from every

our bodies. Becoming conscious

cell in

the destiny pulling each of us along our feel

the pull and follow

Other times there

is

it

easily

and

life's

naturally.

path.

That

is

surprising effort and the pain of bruised shins

we bump into obstacles in our way. Then there are the occasions when our path seems so thoroughly blocked that we feel stuck; and we fear as

we'll never get past that point.

The

obstacles in our paths are creations of our limited beliefs and

expectations of reality. As they spring out and take form in our

lives,

they

we continue believing that these obstacles are real, and unrelated to us, we struggle with them. We try to resist, deny, overcome, or find a way around them, and we may even seem get in our

to

way and seem to thwart us.

succeed temporarily.

persistent,

we

Yet,

and they pop up

If

limited

beliefs

as obstacles over

and expectations are

and over

again.

hold Hmitations in our identity and our expectations of

As long

we

life,

as

will

encounter them in our paths.

But take

heart.

Remember

that unlimited spirit

may seem

like they are there to

thwart you, they are not. They

are markers placed at points of potential

signs saying, "Pause here, shifting

and make

at the core of

and expectations. Although the

everything, including your limited beliefs

obstacles

is

a shift."

power

for you.

They

are like

You can claim your power by

your awareness and recognizing something greater than the

limitation that seems to be getting in your way.

Something

greater, in this case, is choice.

You have

choice.

You can

choose to continue in your previous habituated pattern based on the personality's

hmitation,

unhmitedness of true

or

self to create

process rather than an outcome life

can

you

—

choose

to

surrender

to

your path anew. Your destiny

the is

a

a matter of following the vibrancy of

force rather than being in the right place at the right time doing the

right thing. This is a destiny that has

dependent on

no particular form and

specific events or situations for its expression.

is

not

COMING HOME

74

There

no fixed

is

map with a setpathyou are

make your life worthwhile.

to follow to

There are no concrete ways to measure such things as success or failure.

Destiny

about the "proper" unfolding of your

is less

and more

life

about the innate unfolding of your being. As your being unfolds and you

open to unlimitedness, your

life

impulse to follow destiny's

call will surface in

sooner or later and Yet,

and reshaped. In

will be touched

may prompt you

want

to

to

fact,

the

every aspect of your

life

make

significant changes.

do not confuse the changes that occur with destiny

Your

life

changes

may begin with

itself.

a feeling of dissatisfaction.

It

may

be dissatisfaction with your work, your relationships, or any area of your life

that involves your self-expression or interaction

There

want

is

a feeling that

with the world.

you want deeper fulfillment in the situation and

who you truly are. The need to transform create a new one altogether, challenges you to

more

to express or give

the current situation, or

of

continue drawing on deeper inner resources as you

make your way.

Because most people find themselves at this type of crossroads in respect to their work,

Perhaps career deeper,

or a

is

let's

use

work

as the

example in

not the area that concerns you, but you long for a

more expansive

relationship, a

more compatible

new creative outlet. The information in this

a variety of areas in

your

change that has not yet If

work

is

this chapter.

life

where you

feel

circle of friends,

section can be applied to

the pull toward expanded

fully manifested.

your area of focus, perhaps you are yearning for a job that

allows you to express more fully

who you

are

and to make

perceivable contribution to the world. This yearning can passion.

become

a

You may sense your greater potential flowing through your body

so strongly that

it

feels

uncomfortable because you do not yet have the

appropriate action for releasing

it

into the world.

your true work that you are about to pop yet

a direct,

You

are so ready to find

—but you may not even know

what the form of that work is. Months can go by without your getting

any clearer about

it!

Still,

destiny, continue to pull

the yearning and readiness, your greater

on you.

LIVING THE SPLIT

At such times, the inner readiness unlimited living appears to outpace what

move

to is

into a

we

Remember

that the split

between the experience being. In this case

level of

happening in your outer

This incongruity between the inner and outer realities possible variations of the split

new

life.

one of many

is

discussed in "Journey into Form."

the gap in the personality's awareness

is

of limitation

you are witnessing

and the greater it

as the

reality of unlimited

gap between your growing

inner awareness of unlimitedness and the circumstances in your still feel

175

life

that

limiting.

In this version of the split, your job seems too limited to be a fulfilling

expression of your greater

expanded

in your personal

you are spinning your wheels.

passes,

you may

more empty and

more

feel

frustrated at

new work may be unfruitful. You feel like Because you do not yet really know where

understandable that you do not

is

it

yet even

life

work. Efforts to discover your

you are going,

As time

self.

feel

you are

progressing in measurable ways. After

still

more

effort

and

you may begin turning your

frustration,

energy against yourself with self-sabotaging thoughts: "Something

wrong with me

or

I

would have found my new work by now."

trying hard enough." "I

"I

am not clear enough." "I

am

not

spiritual."

should be more practical." In short, you have interpreted the existence

of the split to

mean that you

Or you may choose the

are personally flawed in flip side of

being antagonistic to yourself, you originates outside yourself.

ready for what

I

economy is working

minds

offer."

decide that the restriction

exists because the

"Society

are closed to

against me." "The job

not structured to allow people like

some way.

that interpretation. Instead of

may

"My problem

have to

limitation." "People's

is

should be more

"I

is

I

is

filled

what want

I

world

same regardless

of

is

have to

offer."

doesn't exist.

it.

"The

The world

me to make our contribution."

one you cannot

whether you perceive the flaw

outside you; you are stymied by

not

with density and

Both interpretations are based on the assumption that there somewhere, and usually the flaw

is

fix.

The

is

a flaw

effect is the

as being within

you or

This adds a sense of inadequacy or

incapacitation to the frustration you already

feel.

Clearly, a

new

option

COMING HOME

176

for relating to the situation is needed.

Although your personality will be searching, perhaps in exasperation, for

can do

at this

new

point

frantic

outer action to take, the most powerful thing you

may

simply be to accept that you are in the

become more consciously present within

it.

Below

split

and

are three basic steps

for beginning this acceptance.

ATTUNEMENT Accepting the Split

1.

take some quiet time and attune to the potential you sense

First,

growing within. Feel

it

streaming through every to go out into the

is

your true 2.

spirit into

as

it

cell in

from your depths and

arises

your body. Notice

how ready

Feel

it

as a passion,

and cherish

Feel the difference

restriction that is

it.

Let the

3.

it.

still

Open

full

how

that

between your expansive inner readiness and the

present in your outer

life.

the tension or discomfort of being caught in the in

vitality of

Then, remember your feeling that the outer reality has not yet

changed to match your inner readiness. Take time to notice feels.

you,

this energy

world and carry the expansiveness and

new work.

fills

spectrum of the experience be

to the love that

you

are.

Do

not try to minimize

split.

Stay with yourself

real.

Remember

that the unlimited love

you are made of streams through you even while you experience both the expansiveness and the discomfort of the I

am in

the

split,

I

am

unlimited love.

am."

9

I

split.

Perhaps think, "Even while

open to the urdimited love that

I

LIVING THE SPLIT

Making time most people

as

possible. all

awareness

for this

important.

You may have

a habit,

do, of trying to race through the split as quickly as

Your automatic reaction may be

to rev

up your energy

and, using

the effort you can muster, attempt a flying leap across the split to the

other side, where you hope your is

is

177

new work will be waiting.

an attempt to avoid the discomfort of living with the

You cannot

This exertion

split.

successfully cross the split that way.

You

will find

yourself stopped in the middle time and time again. Ironically, this

is

to

your benefit.

As you

resist the split

and its discomfort,

you resist some aspect ofyour self that knows it

needs to be included inyour move forward into

You continue split is

more expansive living.

to stop because the aspect of yourself that waits in the

worth stopping

for. It

might be an aspect of yourself you are not

conscious of that needs to be held close to your heart and carried with

new life. Perhaps it will even blossom and help you in essential ways when you get there. One way to extend friendship to this sometimes elusive aspect of you into the creation of your

yourself

is

to settle into the split for awhile

you quit trying to leap the

no longer

resist

what

is

split

and feel what

it is like.

and instead allow yourself to be

happening in the present

in

It

also changes

your immediate

course; that intention

goal.

all

You

it,

in an effort to

you

move

what

it

want your true work,

of

ahead. Instead, you surrender to the present and to finding out

can contribute to your journey. This makes

When

the difference.

still

need not weaken. Yet the primary goal becomes

simply being with whatever

is

revealing itself right now. In this surrender,

notice that aliveness of your intention

to find fulfilling

you

work, and you also

allow the discomfort of holding inner potential that has not yet come into fruition in the external world.

gathering power.

You

feel

the

split,

which

is

preparation for

COMING HOME

178

41

Empowering Yourself with Yearning and Not Knowing Spending time consciously in the

Not Knowing, which some people

the blank slate of "emptiness".

Not Knowing

an important

is

have undoubtedly already sensed frightened of

it

and

keep you from gaining Fear of Not

clarity

as

and

lost

split.

than

to let

serve you,

it

something that will weaken you and

part of

ever.

what motivated you

You may have

Knowing, assuming that giving disoriented

You

may have been

power, but you

its

ally.

about your path.

Knowing may be

trying to leap over the

call "the void" or

— and powerful—

Without understanding how

fled.

Not Knowing

easy to fear

it is

you the opportunity to face

split gives

in to

would

it

When you

resisted

to continue

and avoided Not you even more

leave

are already frustrated or scared

know what your new work is to be or how to find it, state of knowing even less may seem like the wrong

because you do not

moving into

a

direction entirely.

Not Knowing is not a

lack of ideas. It

transcends personality and connects

it

offers,

continues to offer

you will continue

emptiness.

clear, pure,

open state of awareness that

you with unlimited

Not Knowing does not go away value;

a

is

just because Yet,

itself.

resisting

if

it

possibility.

you don't recognize

that

and trying

to

fill

its

it

apparent

What will you try to fill it with? Knowing, of course.

will attempt to

you

its

you remain unaware of what

When you fear Not Knowing, your natural defense is

You

Fortunately,

hope

fill

get

will

the

to try to know.

Not Knowing with thoughts and

you

to

your

new work.

uncomfortable with open-ended questions and soothes

up with answers. emptiness of the believes that the

Similarly, split

way

and

it

is

tries to

to find your

ideas

Personality itself

is

by coming

uncomfortable with the apparent fill

it

new work

with is

tangibles. Personality

to stay in control, in this

how much more empowering and enriching it can be to "not know" your way there.

case to "know" your

way

there. It is not

aware of

LIVING THE SPLIT

Not Knowing

powerful state of being that transcends the

a

is

thoughts and ideas generated by your personality,

intellect.

and can create only according

known. In your longing greater than the

for true

work you have

The

into

Ironically,

one

way

work, you are asking

already known.

to go

Not Knowing; there you

are

intellect is in the

to the limitation

To

find

to a state of awareness greater than the awareness

known.

179

for it,

it

has already

work

that

is

you must open

you have already

beyond what you have known

is

to go

wide open.

Personality s knowing automatically screens out possibilities that are unfamiliar.

Not Knowing does not

possibilities your intellect

can plan;

The yearning a variation

it

can create or your personality

opens you to the unlimited.

to find your true

on the

work

desire for true self

we'll call true yearning.

not so

much

and

(or relationship or creativity) is is,

therefore, another pure state

Allowing true yearning and Not Knowing

creates the beginning of something It is

limit you to the

new and more expanded

together

in your

life.

the marriage of true yearning and knowing, but the

marriage of true yearning and Not

Knowing

that yields the greatest

possibility.

9 MEDITATION Yearning and Not Knowing

1.

Close your eyes, and allow yourself to breathe gently and

Follow a few breaths into your throat your heart

your breath 2.

area....

is

area....

Follow a few breaths into your

belly....

gently and easily taking you into your true

As you continue

your yearning to

to breathe gently

surface....

and

easily....

Follow a few breaths into

Assume

that

self....

easily into true self, allow

You may feel your yearning passionately or you

COMING HOME

180

may barely feel it is

important.

to surface, 3.

It is

will

makes no

all; it

your intent.

difference. It is not the sensation that

When your intent is to allow your yearning

happen whether you

to present

itself.

Not Knowing may appear

no image or feeling or sense of presents

it

is....

Now

also invite the

Not

Notice the Not Knowing. as a blank screen,

an empty hole, a

may even come as nothing at all: anything. Open to it in whatever way it

beautiful light, or as something else.

5.

feel it or not....

Continue to sense the yearning as

Knowing 4.

it

at

It

itself.....

Allow the yearning and Not Knowing to spend time with you

together....

Breathe gently and easily into the yearning and Not Knowing,

allowing yourself to trust their presence.... 6.

When

you are ready to come out of meditation, turn your

awareness to your whole body, noticing

Then slowly

stretch,

and open your

how

it feels

from head to

toe....

eyes.

9 42

Empowering Your Speech Everything you

say affects your consciousness,

changing your habits of thinking.

new and its

fulfilling possibilities,

guidance. But

When your

either

affirming

or

statements allow room for

you affirm your true

self

and can receive

when you speak with restriction, you identify with your

personality's focus

on limitation and

trigger

your thoughts to continue

along a narrow track.

For example,

if

your personality

resists

for the security of concrete answers,

don't

know what to

work looking

do.

I

wish

I

Not Knowing and

you may automatically

is

anxious

say, "I just

knew!" Immediately your mind will go to

for answers, trying to

fill

the Not

Then you miss the opportunity to expand.

Knowing with knowing.

LIVING THE SPLIT

To

practice talking about your yearning and

Not Knowing

that reinforce your openness to unlimited possibilities, take sit

and use the following conversational guidelines with

It is

in

181

ways

some time

to

a trusted friend.

important that this person agrees to listen without giving you verbal

feedback, advice, or suggestions.

experience

is

The

ability to listen

and receive your

her or his greatest contribution.

9 ATTUNEMENT Talking about Yearning and Not Knowing

1.

Begin by describing your yearning.

feels. If

you have

Open your heart and tell how it

visions, emotions, physical feelings, or sensations of

energy that come from the yearning, describe them. Your yearning valuable: treat

it

as a treasure

describing the

you in

its

Not Knowing. Allow the Not Knowing

strength and openness. Describe

do not try to

much

in detail to your friend,

its

just blank space,

is

yourself saying, "You

rushing

know,

this

emptiness

space."

emptiness really gives

something.

into

empty

can

I

time

to present itself to

may

and

bring you

and beauty. For example, you may say something

"The Not Knowing

avoid

it

emptiness. Sitting with

fill its

to its spaciousness

to

you are showing your friend.

After you speak about your yearning, spend just as

2.

is

like,

Next you may find

me the time I need

move more slowly and

consciously."

Of

course,

what you

actually say

important things are these: its

own

terms;

(b)

Communicate your

(a) Let

Recognize

full

may be

quite different, but the

Not Knowing present Not

Knowing

as

itself to

your

ally;

its

Knowing

purpose

is

— to what

right

is real

(c)

experience; (d) Let yourself speak with the

assumption that Not Knowing has purpose. You do not have to

what

you on

know

now. You just need to be receptive to Not

and trustworthy about

9

it.

82

COMING HOME

43 Setting Your Course

Any path

of transformation will bring

Practical decisions

What

must be made.

In

which

Whom

actions should you take?

you to unexpected crossroads. direction should you go?

should you choose as traveling

companions? As your goals and values change, your old

making choices may seem

where you

exactly

are headed,

are caught in uncertainty

can you

make

feeble or irrelevant.

you may

feel

If

doubly

criteria for

you do not yet see at a loss.

When you how

and confusion but have decisions to make,

the wisest choices?

The Not Knowing can

Although the

help.

intellect likes to think that

information comes from knowing, most of your true information comes

from Not Knowing. As

directly

we

just discussed,

if

you

rely solely

on

knowing, you are limited by the confines of what your personality perceives or has already experienced.

awareness, the

knowing

For staying on one plane of

new

exceedingly helpful; for expanding into

is

territory, the

Not Knowing is

a greater resource.

To make

a choice, first sit

with the Not Knowing. Spend time with

Make your peace with

it.

Allow yourself to notice your impatience or

inclination to hurry through

When you to fear

are out of touch

Not Knowing because

with true

and to the need to grab

comfort or security. The feeling

me

okay. Doing that will

thought,

"If

I

it.

self,

you are particularly vulnerable

at things to is,

"That will

make me happy."

of insecurity or fear.

do to give yourself

make me

Or, you

safe.

a sense of

That will

may have

make

the panicky

don't find the right thing to do soon, I'm going to be in a lot

of trouble!"

Noticing your version of this inner dialogue

is

helpful because

you unmistakable feedback that you are identifying with

When

you catch yourself

in that pattern,

self.

answers in that moment.

gives

limitation.

take a breath and give

compassion to the part of your personality that out of touch with true

it

is

suffering because

it is

Compassionate presence will help more than

LIVING THE SPLIT

183

You came into physical form to be human and, from

the midst of human limitation,

open to unlimited being.

to

To complete your which includes

purpose you must accept being

life

power

that actually comes from true self

are living the limited aspect of

humanness

The pure longing

to complete your

your being that

it

human,

A response of fear, panic, and looking

living in limitation.

to externals for the

fully

well.

purpose

life

will continue to pull you

Do not be

is

is

proof you

afraid of this.

so strongly inherent in

onward no matter how

thoroughly submerged in the limited you have become. After you recognize that the sense of urgency comes from your personality and you extend compassion to

it,

take another deep breath

and gently turn to the longing and Not Knowing

what

to do. This

lifts

How

your guidance about

the decision from the hands of the small self that

is

from which

a

trying to stay in control and gives

decision of true

as

to the greater

it

self,

empowerment can be made.

can you do

One way

this?

is

to

become comfortable with the

"Yearning and Not Knowing" meditation described at the end of the

"Gathering Power" chapter, and then to add some steps for offering your choices to

Not Knowing. The lengthened meditation is

listed below.

9 MEDITATION Yearning,

1.

Not Knowing, and Decisions

Close your eyes, and allow yourself to breathe gently and easily

Follow a few breaths into your throat your heart area your breath 2.

is

area.

.

.

.

Follow a few breaths into

Follow a few breaths into your belly

—

Assume

that

gently and easily taking you into your true self

As you continue

to breathe gently

your yearning to surface.

.

.

.

You may

and

feel

easily into true self, allow

your yearning passionately or

COMING HOME

184

you may barely that

is

feel it at

important.

It is

yearning to surface, 3.

all; it

your intent.

will

it

makes no

difference. It

When

your intent

happen whether you

Continue to sense the yearning as

not the sensation

is

to allow your

is

not

feel it or

Now also invite the Not

it is

Knowing to present itself. Notice the Not Knowing 4.

Not Knowing may appear

as a blank screen, an

beautiful light, or as something else.

no image or

It

may even come

feeling or sense of anything.

Open

to

it

empty

hole, a

as nothing at

in

all:

whatever way

it

presents itself 5.

Allow the yearning and Not Knowing to spend time with you

together.

.

.

.

Breathe gently and easily into the yearning and Not

Knowing, allowing yourself to trust 6.

Hand one

this possibility?"

of your choices to

You

Not Knowing, and

are giving that possibility to

reflect a greater perspective to

7.

their presence

Not Knowing so

it

can

you

Allow Not Knowing to reveal the essence of that choice to you.

That choice

may

or deadened

start vibrating

— or

something

with

else

observing the feeling or image that

When you

life

or

it

may become

may happen. Spend is

few moments

presented

and hand Not Knowing the next

one.

process until you have gotten energetic feedback on are considering. If

You can repeat the all

the choices you

you have several choices to present to Not Knowing

and become fatigued before you get through them you are

a

duller, faded,

have received the message about that possible choice, put

that choice aside

until

"What about

say,

rested.

all,

Then repeat the meditation

simply take a break for the

remaining

choices. 8.

When

you are ready to come out of meditation, turn your

awareness to your whole body, noticing

Then slowly

stretch,

and open your

eyes.

9

how it feels from head to

toe.

.

.

LIVING THE SPLIT

The feedback from Not Knowing may be

images that you

may be more abstract or subtle. You may go entirely by how you feel. With practice you will become more

immediately understand, or

have to

specific

185

it

adept at understanding the "language" you share with Not Knowing. You

can then consider the information you receive from Not Knowing as you

weigh your choices and make your If

each possibility looks or

decisions.

feels

wonderful as Not Knowing

the energy back to you, consider that perhaps you cannot in your choice. In fact, even it,

make

a

reflects

mistake

though you may not be consciously aware of

any decision you make comes from some important part of yourself

that

wants expression. As you follow through on

a decision,

turns out to bring you joy or sorrow, abundance or of experiences,

manifested,

some aspect

and you

of your being

gave

it

loss, or a

wanted

expression

to

whether

combination

be expressed, or

by making that

Manifesting and interacting with that aspect of

self via

it

choice.

the situation you

created from that choice exposes you to learning that can enable you to

grow and move on. Sometimes

it is

better to

to be forever afraid of

thing

is

make

a decision

making the wrong

simply that you come fully to

life

and

see

what happens than

The most important

choice.

while you are here in this world.

Any choice you make carries that possibility.

44 Updating the As you lovingly accept your

Map

personality,

become

emotions, and take counsel from Not Knowing, a that allows you to look

familiar

with your

new vision may develop

more honestly and creatively

at

your

life.

You may

begin to question the unnecessary judgments and restrictions you have placed on yourself and others over the years. You

may want

to release

outdated emotional or behavioral patterns you adopted for survival at earlier stages of

this?

your

life

that are not

empowering now.

How can you

do

COMING HOME

86

Transformation occurs more smoothly and deeply

when you extend

compassion and love to yourself. Think about loving yourself for a

moment. For some people, the mere idea overwhelming;

seems

it

of loving

themselves

They unconsciously assume

like too big a job.

they are so unlovable by nature that any efforts to love themselves

be exhausting or would simply

They think they have

fail.

feelings of love, love, love that never stop. If

you

is

would

to conjure

What an arduous task! you can do four

feel that loving yourself is difficult,

things:

ATTUNEMENT Finding Affection for Self

1.

Remember

the love that you

always vibrant and

unlimited love

is

easier to feel

some love

radiates through you, not 2.

Think

Love

most

you remember that

is

your body,

it is

something that already

something you have to create on the spot.

in terms of simply having

tiny love. In your

When

alive in every cell of

for yourself.

Affection seems easier, as though is

are.

it is

self-critical

a

some

affection for yourself.

scaled-down expression of love.

It

moments, you do not have to stretch

so far to find a tiny feeling of affection for yourself, yet the benefit of that affection will

be just as great as

yourself. Let tiny love 3.

ask,

you were enthusiastically in love with

— or a very subtle feeling of affection—be enough.

As you catch yourself repeating your old

"Where

my

is

asking, gently

uncomfortable,

may

is

pattern, take a

affection for myself in this situation?"

and with genuine

the old pattern

are. It

if

sincerity,

one of self-hatred or

it is still

possible to find

you will find

self-criticism,

some inner

moment

to

As you continue affection.

which

is

affection for

Even

if

terribly

who you

help to imagine that you are stepping back far enough for a

greater perspective. Or, imagine that you are seeing with bigger eyes, eyes

that can find even the tiniest affection for

may be.

self,

no matter

how

hidden

it

LIVING THE SPLIT

Do

4.

Sweet Me.

Whether you

words

silently say the

Sweet

are sitting quietly or doing something,

Me and let them drop

are dropping pebbles into a pond. settle

within you, wherever

loving. feeling.

more

You

are simply letting Sweet

With

times,

Assume

Me

into you, as though you

Me

Sweet

will automatically

You do not need

needed.

it is

187

to feel sweet or

whatever you are

settle alongside

that understanding, drop Sweet Me's into yourself a

with

at least a

few

breath or two between them.

9 moment

Let's take a

to examine

what

it is

like to

be caught in an

outdated pattern or emotion or behavior. You want to change feel like it will

never fade. Looking closely,

we

earlier:

discussed

we find the same two elements

more expanded way

of being that expresses your true

know whether the change may happen.

restrictive pattern will ever

In short, you are in a

control. Personality

will try to

do

it

is

the small self (personality)

wants to leap over the

split as

by taking immediate action to

change or

how

who wants

to stay in

that

efforts,

soon as possible and

avoid, deny, reject, or

based on control, are in the

split.

can you do? Once again, you will be most effective by being

present with yourself and honest about split again,

and

this is uncomfortable."

how

you

When

feel.

the yearning,

("I

want

a

"Here

in "(I'm

("I

don't

but I'm open and committed to

know how

it

am

in the

still

flee,

doing

new way of being that comes from my

true self rather than from old, restrictive conditioning"),

Knowing be with you

I

you no longer try to

you can witness the pattern you have been caught this"), feel

yet you do not

and most often lead to frustration and an increase

discomfort of being caught in the

What

self,

for a

split!

dismantle the restrictive pattern. These rarely effective

but you

Not Knowing. You yearn

true yearning and

Joining you there

it,

to

happening").

make

and

let

the Not

this pattern change,

COMING HOME

188

Being in the split

is

like sitting

on top of a pyramid;

whether or not you can feel all energies

are aligned to give you power.

Because the predominant feelings in the fear,

and

frustration, the

it,

power

available to

split are often helplessness,

you

is easily

overlooked and

whether you are conscious or unconscious about what

misdirected. Yet

you are doing, whatever you do will carry power.

If

you

resist the split,

your resistance will be amplified, reinforcing the sense of being caught in a struggle.

This will not help you to change the pattern that originally

distressed you.

If,

however, you compassionately allow yourself to

feel

the

longing for change and the feelings that go with being in the split (discomfort, anticipation, excitement, fear, etc.), the creative energies of

both your longing and your willingness to be present with yourself will be empowered for you. As you also open to Not Knowing, your ability to

draw from the unlimited Source possibilities

With

will

be

strengthened,

and new

can come to you.

this

kind of receptivity and empowerment, you are open to

transformation and are attuning to your greater potential. In time you

may need

to take specific actions to support your personality in its

change. Proceed,

knowing that whatever you genuinely want

and are willing to create through the assistance of true

Your destiny

is

self. It is

as fluid

and transmutable

You do

this not

by

It is

inside

moment by your own unbounded

as

you

are. If

you do not

you are going or the weight of the baggage you revisions.

self is possible.

not preordained by some outside source.

you, created and re-created in ever}7

for yourself

carry,

resisting or controlling

like

where

you can make

what you

find

on

your path, but by directing your awareness. Unlimited possibilities await you.

LIVING THE SPLIT

189

45 Getting Free of Self-Judgment Feeling separate from the love that you are

makes you easy prey

judgment. Self-judgment

never strikes just once, but

is

unrelenting;

it

to self-

uses your thoughts to attack again and again. Sooner or later these rejecting thoughts can invalidate everything about

who you

are

self-

and the

path you are on, leaving you disoriented and confused. Heavy with doubt,

you drag your sign that

it is

feet

all

bad. There

You can view

When

more rewarding. This

life isn't

is

a

is

restricting as self-rejecting thoughts can be, they are

an energy

how

advantage, no matter

claim.

why

time to expand your perception.

As painful and not

and wonder

at the core of

each that you can use to your

crippling the content of the thought

that core energy as hidden nourishment that

is

may

be.

yours to

you are caught in self-sabotaging thoughts, the following

become present and aware enough

three steps can help you

to use that

energy constructively.

9 ATTUNEMENT Facing Self-Judgment

Stop for a

1.

occurring. will

It

moment and

will not help

realize that self-rejecting thoughts are

you to ignore them or passively accept them.

help you to acknowledge their presence. Let yourself feel

2.

how

uncomfortable

turned against yourself. Notice that not only is also

It

it

feels

it

is

it

a

to have your energy

mental discomfort, but

uncomfortable to your body to be bathed with

critical

thought. 3.

Use the power

of your intention: Gently

want the energy within the experience of true

self.

self-rejecting

and

clearly state that

you

thoughts to bring you a greater

COMING HOME

190

9 So there you

are,

noticing a painfully critical thought, and feeling the

emotional and physical discomfort

it

remind yourself of what you want: "Even in I

want

this

thought to bring

be more accurate,

say, "I

its

energy

important.

is

you to true

self,

self."

It is

The

the power

—whether

—

the core energy

life force.

That

is

as well as "positive" ones for opening

remember to transcend

the content

All thoughts spring

love

and go

is all possibility.

in the experience of Source, the

in your

life

thought.

and

why

of

The content

real

and

is

more you

are

is

if

you

you to true

self

if

what you

immersed of

are

immersed

in unlimited love,

what

are thinking.

your awareness to a deeper

is

What

happening a beautiful

Believing the content

personality.

On

self.

What

is

easy

seems most

carries the least

power and

level.

Judgmental thought can be destructive level.

you

unlimited, unconditional

excellent practice for opening to true

shift

life

"negative" thoughts

The more you

and true to the judgmental mind actually

truth

any

of

and

irony to find Source even through your self-critical thoughts! This to do

or

essence the

its

love, creativity,

and absolute well-being, regardless

and regardless

pleasant

as

it

living

to the core energy.

from Source. Source

and well-being. Source

all possibility,

— of

— carries in

always secondary to the urdimited

force the thought carries at its core.

work

between the thought and

you experience

urdimited love and creativity of vibrant is

to a

it.

unpleasant, good or bad, limited or unlimited

thought

Or, to

me

thought to bring

at the core of all thoughts, feelings, things,

creation

All

distinction

at the core of

You want to align yourself with

creatures.

and discomfort,

this criticism

energy of this

you

it,

not the content of the thought that will bring

but the energy

Energy exists

the midst of

me to a greater experience of true self."

want the

greater experience of true

From

causes.

if

you stay

at the

content

damages your self-image and hurts your

the other hand, resisting or rebelling against judgmental

LIVING THE SPLIT

thought if

is

191

depleting because you are always fighting a losing battle. Even

you try to defend against the content

with turnaround statements such "There's nothing

thinking starts

as,

wrong with me.

dissolves

I'm really okay," the judgmental

self-rejecting

Then you

defense.

an exhausting war.

It is

and the harm turns

engage with the content of

by countering

"No, I'm not bad, I'm good" or

up again the moment you stop your

must leap into battle again and again.

The war

of self -judgment

to healing

when you no

longer

thoughts but go straight to the

Source energy within them that will nurture you. You free yourself from being \ictimized by self-judgment, and self-judgment becomes, like everything

else, just

another vehicle to reconnect you with Source.

Source

When

it

is

always the healing.

becomes your habit to choose Source

rejection, that shift

in the midst of self-

changes your entire relationship with the world. By

disengaging from the content of self-rejecting thought and choosing to be

empowered and

by the Source energy

at its core,

you

transcend limitation and align with unlimitedness. You open to true

self.

As you develop

carried forward

this

new

pattern, you will find yourself automatically

applying this transcendence to other situations in your

To

see

situation,

You

how

this happens, take a

one in which you

feel

boxed

created in your body yourself;

your body

it.

Notice that

when your

feels

into a corner

out.

happening to you, yet

feeling. It is similar to

the feeling

thoughts are harshly judgmental of

it.

imagine that even though you are trapped, you are able to

remember the love that you and self.

is

and cannot get

the pain of the self-hostility and the distress of

not being able to get away from

Now

as well.

to imagine a threatening

are trapped, feeling that something terrible

you are helpless to stop

true

moment

life

As you do

relaxes into ease

well-being

is

this,

and

to reconnect in another

way with your

your fear and pain soften, and your body slowly

joy. It is safe to

be expansive. You

assured regardless of what

is

know

that your

happening externally. You

sense that the core energy of everything in the situation around you

192

COMING HOME

including the corner you were boxed into love

a carrier of the unlimited

is

and life force of Source.

By going through self,

—

whenever the

personality

learn

— transcending to Source, or true self-judgment occurs — your body and

kind of

this

distress of

shift

transcendence

repetition, the shift will

as

a

new

pattern.

happen automatically and increase

As you become used to transcending to Source

situations that create the

wonderful

when

same type this shift

Other times

it

ways

of distress in your body.

becomes automatic.

It

at the well-being

means you Sometimes

are this

that you do not consciously notice

will be a delightful surprise.

you will rejoice

in its scope.

be triggered in other

naturally seeking the unlimited in the midst of limitation. will occur in such subtle

enough

in the midst of the distress

of self-judgment, transcendence to Source will also

It is

After

it

As

brings you.

it

it.

becomes second nature,

LIVING THE SPLIT

193

CHERIE DETER McARTHUR Cherie

was

a

mild mannered bookkeeper with a big dream: She wanted to

live in paradise.

Tired of city

life

in California

and work that didn't make

her heart sing, or even hum, her daydreams carried her to Hawaii. She

longed to see the lush green of jungle, inhale warm, moist, tropical

and live in

rhythm that brought her close to the land.

a slower

Her dream started

to

come

when

true in 1990

she and her husband,

packed up their two kids and moved to the Big Island

Ian,

Cherie became a flower vendor, selling to tourists cruise ships in port,

In 1996 Cherie

air,

and worked part-time in

and Ian bought

of Hawaii.

who poured

off the

a nursery.

lOacre macadamia nut farm. Or the

a

remnants of one. Long neglected and reclaimed by the jungle, the 12-foot trees

were barely

visible.

worked. Thick grasses as

two inches their

They had tall as

to be uncovered before they could be

the trees

filled

the orchards. Jungle vines

in diameter gripped the tree trunks

and branches, twisting

way to the tree tops for light.

Ian's career creating special effects for

him out

the purchase of the farm but took

Hollywood movies financed of state for

months

So Cherie rolled up her sleeves and got to work. She learned

at a time.

how to use a

machete and scythe and attacked the grasses towering over her head. She took on the jungle single-handedly a right

—

literally.

Cherie had been born with

arm that stopped just below the elbow,

so she

had only one hand.

That had never stopped her before, so why would it now?

Even with the help labor, slashing

of

men

and removing the

unwinding them from the 600

dream was realized

as

it

took two years of hard

grasses, then

hacking the vines and

Cherie hired,

trees, to

ready the farm. In 1998 Cherie's

Puna Girl Farms went into production

of

macadamia nuts and macadamia flower honey. Puna

Girl

Farms was good

continued, but she loved

it.

for

Cherie's

soul.

The hard work

For nine years she and her workers

mowed

the tenacious orchard grass, pruned and fertilized the trees, gathered the nuts,

and delivered the harvest to

screamed across the

island,

a processor. After each tropical

they cleared away broken branches and

storm fallen

COMING HOME

194

They battled wild pigs who damaged the orchard, and when

trees.

seemed the pigs might win, erected an farm. Cherie In early

plummeted

ended every day dog 2007 the bottom to a

tired,

fell

electric fence to

keep them

it

off the

but her heart sang anyway.

The

out.

price of

low that hadn't been seen

macadamia nuts

in generations. Suddenly

Cherie stood to lose her farm. The cost of picking the nuts

extremely exceed the price she could get at market that she

would

so

was unable to

harvest her crop. She couldn't afford to take her crop to market for such a couldn't afford to pull out the trees and plant something else, and

loss,

couldn't afford to

do nothing. Cherie was stuck.

People recommended selling her land. Cherie loved her farm. her dream lose

it.

come

true,

and she had worked hard

And her employees depended on her;

for

it.

It

was

She didn't want to

she didn't

want

to put

them

out of work. Cherie couldn't figure out a solution. Or, more accurately, her personality couldn't figure out a solution. So Cherie took the issue to

someone who could: her true

self.

Cherie turned to techniques she had learned in class,

which had met throughout the previous

year.

my Living from True Self She sat quietly, did a

few minutes of sounding, and then imagined that her breath was breathing her, gently and easily, into true

farm needs to pay for

what

I

itself.

self.

What can I do?

I

To

turn

true self she said, "This it

over to you.

can do." As she continued breathing into true

self,

Show me

an answer

came: "You are in a state of confusion, but there are simple answers. Visualize

what you want, and proceed. Your wanting has

strength."

A few days later, Cherie again sat quietly, sounded, and imagined that her breath

worry,

was breathing her into

let go, receive.

true

self.

Again an answer came: "Don't

Things are already being taken care of by your true

self."

Cherie, used to relying on a plan it,

was

in

new territory.

It

Not Knowing. She wanted

Wanting was something

was the

and her own hard work to execute

territory of yearning (or

to save the farm yet didn't

familiar to her. Proceeding in a state of

this

important was

to true self to learn

new and

wanting) and

know how to do it. Not Knowing about

disorienting. Cherie

how to navigate Not Knowing.

had turned

LIVING THE SPLIT

True

self

was

that

had

let

her

know that goodness was in the works,

greater than anything her personality could see from

perspective or make happen on

goodness

its

limited

own. With the message "Don't worry,

its

true self hadn't been suggesting that Cherie

let go, receive,"

195

passive,

but had been guiding her to develop

As long

as her action-oriented personality

a state of

open

become

receptivity.

was dominating, she

couldn't

see her deeper path or receive the greater goodness waiting there for her.

A well-developed

state of receptivity

and new roots into true

help her to find her way and gain the most from

During the next few weeks,

stress,

would

it.

worry, and panic about the farm's

situation visited Cherie several times a day. Each time, self's

self

remembering true

messages, she chose not to be controlled by her personality's

distress,

but instead to turn toward her true

how

could not yet see

that well-being

even

self well-being,

would manifest

in her

reminded herself,

I'm open to

it."

"I've

already asked for true

Or she would take

self's

a breath into true

help. self.

I

she

When

life.

the distress tapped her on the shoulder, she didn't deny or reject just

if

it;

she

believe in

it.

Or she would

turn her thoughts to something enjoyable that helped her remain open to well-being.

Each time she gently chose well-being over her personality's reaction of distress, relief

and

lighter.

flowed through her body immediately. She

Stomach problems and

stress

happier

felt

headaches that had begun to

plague her disappeared.

As Cherie practiced her new well-being more automatic. She

also

process,

found worry and

it

became

easier

distress occurring

and

with

decreasing frequency and her well-being lasting longer. For example, early

on she

of worry.

A

felt

happy and balanced for maybe an hour between episodes

few days

later she felt

between episodes of worry. Within

happy and balanced a

few more days

it

distress

were taking

One evening process, she

six

a

back

weeks

all

to three

day.

Worry

seat to well-being.

after Cherie

and Ian were sipping

called "the park."

two hours

was up

hours, and so on until happiness and balance were lasting

and

for

had started her well-being

cocktails in the area of the farm they

The park was two

acres of cleared land that

had no

COMING HOME

196

trees, just lush,

mowed grass on

top of a

overlooking other farms and the ocean. "This

is

this

all

would

was

their haven.

love

it.

we

There's just got to be something

is

can do

beauty to save the farm."

They had had

new

that offered gorgeous views

such a beautiful spot," Cherie mused, "and this view

amazing. People

with

It

hill

this conversation before. Ian grinned

and repeated the

moment

catch phrase they had coined in a similarly wistful

nights earlier,

a

few

"Build a pavilion, and they will come."

Later in the

week Cherie was

talking with the receptionist in her

chiropractor's office about her dilemma. "We're trying to figure out

something to do with the park.

The receptionist took "You're giving

tour

company

lunches.

me

Do you have any ideas?"

in a quick breath

goose bumps," she

and held

said. "Part of

the

for a

it

week

I

moment.

work

for a

that's looking for a place to take tourists for their picnic

think your park would be perfect! Most of our tourists have

I

never seen a macadamia farm."

Days set

up

later the

owners

of the tour

company met Cherie

picnic tables under canopies, and

handed Cherie

in "the park,"

a schedule.

Soon

they started bringing their tours to Puna Girl Farms for lunch. Cherie

became the ever met,

first "real, live

macadamia farmer" most

and she happily stepped into the

she loved so much,

selling

Chatting about the farm

star fruit, pineapples,

grew on her property made her happy. Cherie

had she achieved her dream with people from

all

had

her honey, and giving samples of her

macadamia nuts plus the bananas, also

role.

of the tourists

of living in paradise,

and lychee that

realized that not only

now

she

was

sharing

it

over the world. Yes, her true self definitely had

known what to do. In

the following months the size

increased,

and Cherie and Ian

and frequency of the tours

built their pavilion.

Enough income was

generated for the farm workers to remain employed; they maintained the orchards and kept the jungle at bay so nut production would be ready to

resume whenever prices should go back up. The farm was saved! But there was more to purpose

it

it

than

that.

Cherie had used the

had manifested: to deepen her

crisis for

the

personality's roots in true self

and to take her dream, the farm in

LIVING THE SPLIT

197

paradise, to its next level.

Her

personality could not have seen the big picture or have figured out the details for

making

it

happen.

been orchestrated by true

It

had been

a plan so big

it

could only have

self.

Cherie had succeeded by learning that Not Knowing was not a or passive state but a state of profound receptivity in

was

which goodness

percolating for her; by turning over her dilemma to true

opening to true face of stress

self's

self

and

guidance; and by choosing deeper well-being in the

and worry. Cherie had found

a

new way

to navigate into

abundance,

Visit Cherie, Ian,

weak

and Puna Girl Farms

at

www.PunaGirlFarms.com

Part IX

9

AWAKENED PERSONALITY Loyal Servant to Unlimited Spirit

46 Transformation and Perfection

Living your

life

ongoing process of transformation

as an

adventure. In facing the challenges that strength, develop emotional depth

limitation that

may

and

is

a marvelous

come your way, you gain inner agility,

and learn to transcend

otherwise continue to lock you into patterns of

and unhappiness.

struggle

Yet, as

with everything, there

is

a

need

for balance.

An

over-reliance

on transformation can be an addiction, which occurs when people continuously focus on change because they cannot accept themselves as they

are.

Because the motivation for this kind of transformation

toward change become

rejection, these efforts

with

self.

1.

Here are some

No

matter

a distraction

is self-

from being

pitfalls of this pattern:

how much

change

is

made,

it is

never enough to be

fully satisfying. 2.

Because the change that has been made was not based on the

unconditional self-love and well-being of true disappointingly limited in 3.

The basic issue

its

of self -rejection

Transformation addition or

scope or does not

may be

is

The

turns out to be

last.

avoided and is never resolved.

directed inward (changing the

outward (changing the world) and often

urgency.

self, it

carries a tone of life or death

basic assumption of the inner directed pattern

change to be okay." The outer directed pattern

me to be okay." dialogue may include

self)

is,

is,

T must

"The world (or other

people) must change for Inner directed

"To grow or heal, manifest

money

with myself,

I

I

statements like the following:

must change." "To get along

or to contribute to the

better with people or to

world— I must

change." "To live

must become something better than what

Outer directed dialogue may be about the same assumption that

it is

issues,

I

already am."

but with the

other people or the world that must change rather

than (or at least more than) the

self.

COMING HOME

202

The need you

leaves

to change yourself (or anyone else) to attain well-being

means

at a definite disadvantage. It

living

with emptiness and

insecurity while you try to become (or get someone else to become)

whatever you think

is

better.

The

effort

you expend to create

this

change

can be endless and exhausting. This does not

mean you should

give

up on transformation and be

stuck with inner patterns and outer circumstances that do not feel right

Growth and change

to you.

are important.

It

may be

helpful,

however, to

take an honest look at the attitude that motivates your change. beliefs

If

the

about yourself that prompt your change are healthy, the changes

you make will support your greater health. rejecting,

your changes, no matter

how

If

those beliefs are

self-

dramatic, will have limited

benefit.

What if the real truth is that you are enough right now, just as you are? What if well-being is your birthright and will come alive for you in an instant if you are willing to let yourself have it? What if all change and transformation in you and in the world are options but not necessities?

Understand that from unlimited

wrong with

spirit's perspective,

you; you are perfect as you are.

there

You do not have

blemish. Even your suffering or the suffering of others

is

difficult to accept

nothing

a flaw or a

not a sign that

anything needs to be fixed. Everything carries perfection as

Although your personality may find

is

it is.

this

or believe,

nothing about you or the world needs to be

Vibrant

through

all

life force,

changed for well-being to occur.

unconditional love, and unlimited well-being flow

things, all beings,

and

all

situations as they are right

now.

These qualities already exist everywhere. Everyone and everything are

made If

of them, although this truth

often overlooked.

tomorrow, every person on earth were to open consciously to the

vibrant there

is

life force,

unconditional love, and unlimited well-being of Source,

would be an

instant shift in consensus about

what should be done

AWAKENENED PERSONALITY

203

There no longer would be panic, urgency, or resistance

in the world.

about making change. Instead there would be the knowing that Source present and available everywhere, in the biggest disasters as the most beautiful creations of nature. People

would go

as in

would make change from

pure choice and well-being rather than from urgency and energies

much

is

into creating an environment for

suffering. Their

all

creatures that

expresses the great well-being that already exists.

This intent

different than trying to change things so people can

is

escape suffering. The experience of suffering

mean

it

is real,

carries the greatest truth. Its reality is

orientation

to

but that does not

based in the personality's

and separation. Actions taken

limitation

to

escape

suffering reinforce the belief in suffering as a foundational force of

existence.

Recognize that

when you

identify

with

life at a

are focused within the illusion of limitation,

perceived and experienced. At that the forms in

to

which

level,

Well-being

is

it

and

relate to

being that already

is

at the

where

suffering

is

suffering will not it

be

at that level.

the natural state

of true self and unlimited

you want to transform

is

you

your actions may bring change

suffering occurs, but

ehminated as long as you believe in

If

which

superficial level,

suffering, bring

deepest

level.

spirit.

your awareness to the well-

There, free from suffering, you

can make choices and changes from a pure sense of inner peace, regardless

of

the

external

situation.

Your actions will then carry

unlimited creative power and will continue to reveal well-being as the

most basic If

you

reality.

feel

urgency about creating change in your

you probably do not experience yourself life

force,

life

or in the world,

as a vehicle for Source: vibrant

unconditional love, and unlimited well-being. You

may be

focusing on change to compensate for this lack. Creating change becomes a

replacement for what you want most deeply but do not have. Yet,

because

it is

more

superficial,

making change

in yourself or others

is

204

COMING HOME

much less

satisfying than having the full experience of source.

from Source, the change you make

are in separation

someone

else, in

that calls to

Again,

the world

—

is

— in

never quite enough. There

is

When you

yourself, in

always more

you with that familiar urgency.

by no means

is

this a suggestion that

you should stop trying to

create change or take action to relieve suffering. Being passive ineffective in the

Source.

world

is

no solution

to missing your connection

and with

However, you may need to face your longing for the inner peace of

deep connection.

There

is

one way to

tell

easily

and instantly

whether you feel separate from Source:

The degree to which you feel is

It is

and

distress in your life

the degree to which you are in separation.

important to distinguish between

being separate

from Source. There

separate, because Source, or true

is

self, is

feeling

separate from Source

no such thing

as actually being

in every aspect of yourself

and

your world. For our purposes, being in separation simply means losing conscious awareness of the presence of Source, orienting instead to your personality's reality of separation, limitation, and, therefore, suffering.

47 Nurturing Your Personality

Because the personality

is

such a strong part of your experience of

you need to take good care of it. This includes honoring its

needs and giving

When you

it

a healthy environment, internally

consider making changes in your

may be helpful.

it

life,

self,

by recognizing and

externally.

the following four steps

AWAKENENED PERSONALITY

205

ATTUNEMENT Creating Changes in Your Life

1.

Begin by dropping the idea of changing yourself to become a better

person. 2.

Assume

for the

moment

can have well-being right

that you are okay as you are and that you

now

without making any internal or external

changes.

From

3.

that clear space ask yourself,

"What does my

personality

need to be its healthiest?" 4.

Make

a list of the top one to five actions you can take

changes you can make

— or inner

— that will support your personality in

living in

well-being and goodness.

You may discover with supportive

that your personality needs

friends,

more

more play and enjoyment, healthier body,

more

and

let

suit

you

self-expression,

may ask you

a

new

live in a

a

creative outlets, or greater

few possibilities. For example, your

to deepen specific friendships you already have

new

friends

who

better.

body

house that

body that

home

is

more attention and care

into a

name

accomplishment or challenge,

go of others, or perhaps to persevere in finding

Or, because your give

change in your work environment,

a sense of

attention to your emotions, to

personality

love, a

more companionship

to your body. Just as

falls apart,

falls

to your personality, you

may need

to

you would not want to

you do not want to put your personality

apart from lack of care.

You may need

to choose

foods and activities that will nurture and strengthen your body so your personality can live in a clean, strong, supportive physical environment.

Proper emotional care of exercise.

self is as

Your personality may

tell

important as proper eating and

you that you need

understanding of your emotional responses.

It

may

a

deeper

also ask for

new

COMING HOME

206

options to replace old patterns that no longer serve you; a release of feelings

you have been holding back

good pat on the back

yourself; or a

for too long; greater

compassion

for

growth you

to validate the emotional

have already begun.

You may be able to get your emotional needs met through contact

whom

with friends

you trust to

live in truth

with you, through

therapist or support group, or through meaningful involvement

a

good

with your

community. Be sure to find your source for healthy emotional interaction

and growth

if

your personality requests

it.

You need open,

clear,

strong

emotional circuitry that serves you in the world.

Tending to your personality's needs the basic housekeeping required

is

for a healthy

How much housekeeping is

human being.

needed? Emotional clearing, proper diet

and exercise, and healthy rapport with family,

friends,

and community

all

nurture the personality. Yet even these health-enhancing actions are

completely

fulfilling

Spirit is the

only when accompanied by attunement to

spirit.

Source from which personality manifests. For balanced

living,

the vehicle of expression (personality) must be strongly developed,

but

must not be mistaken

it

the expressing (spirit).

things and

all

It is

for the greater consciousness that is doing

urdimited spirit that links us in unity to

beings; personality

on its

Consider the imbalances that is

ignored.

spirit

Some people who

and draw on

personality keeps

its

own cannot do this. occur when either personality

them focused

as a last resort. Their over reliance

in limitation, creating a

and attachment.

On

life

makes

it

on

of illusion,

the other hand,

spiritually oriented people recognize only the value of spirit resist the

or spirit

are strongly oriented to personality ignore

power only

materialism, judgment,

all

some

and deny or

importance of personality. This disconnection from personality

difficult for their

at the practical levels, so

needs met or

feel

expansive awareness

to.

integrate into daily

life

they often have trouble getting their material

they don't belong in the world.

AWAKENENED PERSONALITY

Personality s highest function

A weakened personality is less

is

as a vehicle for spirit.

able to tolerate the brilliant vibration

of spirit, while a healthy personality carries

personality

is

207

focused in the physical world,

your everyday view of the world.

it

its

Because your

easily.

consciousness affects

Supporting the health of your

personality increases your capacity for bringing the brilliance of spirit

through your personality into your

life.

As your healthy personality opens unlimited. In that alignment there is

is

to true

is

removed of

state of true self well-being.

with urdimited life.

Suffering

wrong and

love,

is

Such

you surrender to the

total well-being; nothing exists that

not well-being. Even a situation in your

you intense suffering

self,

all

life

that

distress

a situation

may normally

cause

when viewed from

this

becomes infused instead

compassion, and surrender to the sublime beauty of

replaced by the knowing that nothing

is

essentially

that only perfection exists. Your attachment to anything

outside yourself you had hoped

automatically dropped.

You

would

save you from suffering

are already saved, for

is

you are one with

Source.

48

Where Is Your Support? Have you found your unshakable source

of support yet?

Without

it, life

can be overwhelming and your path can seem impossibly long or rocky.

No

matter

how rough the going, you

and guided and that there

need to

know that you

power supporting you

is

a

is

my truest,

are cared for

that will not let you

down.

Ask

yourself,

You may think

Where

is

"Where

of support

support that

is

from

reliable

specific people in

support right now?"

your

life,

but go deeper.

even more constant and profound than what

another person can give you? security

most

Where

you can get from money or

is

support that goes beyond the

a satisfying career?

Where

is

support

COMING HOME

208

that

continuous, never wavering for a

is

support that

is

moment? You

are looking for

undiminished by anything that happens around you, by

what other people say or do,

or

by what you gain or lose in the world. You

are looking for Source.

Where can you self is

more is

your link to

real to you,

find Source? it,

are

the unlimited;

so look within.

it is

everywhere. True

As you allow true

self to

become

you find divine support around you and within you that

absolutely unthreatened

You

It is

by anything you may think,

bathed in the knowing

that, in fact,

feel,

or experience.

nothing truly exists but the

support of Source.

9 ATTUNEMENT Feeling the Support of Source

1.

Periodically take time to

With each

to your inner Source.

intention to connect.

sit

quietly

and

your breath take you

let

breath, gently think or speak your

You may use words such

as, "I

align

always with me" or

with the

open to the

unwavering support of Source that

is

support of Source." Let yourself

the supportive presence of Source.

feel

"I

If

your mind wanders, simply repeat your affirmation of intent. Enjoy the connection. 2.

Take

a

walk or jog and allow the movement

of your

body and the

beauty of nature to bring your awareness to your inner Source. As you

move, occasionally use a verbal affirmation, such as the ones mentioned above, to direct your intention and keep you on purpose. 3.

Talk about your inner Source of support with other people.

When you Source

are in touch

feels like

meditation.

If

and

it

it,

or

would

how you draw on

this talk is

into the experience, to

with

about what

like to be, talking its

support can be a form of

not done as idle chatter but

is

used to take you

can make the inner connection more

real.

do your sharing with people, perhaps good friends or

Choose

a spiritual

AWAKENENED PERSONALITY

who

support group,

can understand and

who

also

want

a

209

deep

experience of Source.

49 Personality as Ally

One theme

that has emerged so far in this

habitually overlooks or rejects unlimited

book

spirit.

is

that the personality

As the inner navigator

who knows how

to get us through Hmited reality, personality seems to

have

to recognize unlimitedness. Instead,

little ability

stay in control of

what

it

knows.

personality often interprets then,

is

to try to put an

familiar. In this

it

unlimitedness

is

it

to

experienced,

to

what

is

resists urdimitedness.

also another side to this story, a side in

our being that experiences separation from Source, all

is

may return

personality longs for unlirnitedness. Because personality

being in which

works hard

as a disruption. Its automatic reaction,

end to the disruption so

way, personality

Fortunately, there

When

it

it is

is

which

the aspect of

the aspect of our

suffering takes place. Yet, personality truly does not

like to suffer.

Even

if

suffering

is

a long-established, habituated pattern in your

that seems impossible to break, your personality

still

life

does not like

it.

Perhaps you were given the impression in childhood that you are most "real"

when you

way when you you are

are suffering; or that

you are

living in the

most righteous

are in pain; or that people will be kinder or less rejecting

suffering.

if

This can cause your personality to cling to suffering as a

self-affirming reality.

Still,

even underneath that ingrained pattern, your

personality longs to be free from suffering and to heal.

When

you allow unlimitedness into your conscious awareness

enough times, your personality begins

to recognize that urdimitedness

is

a

possibility. As this exposure continues, your personality becomes willing

to support your intention to live without Hmitation rather than resist.

It

COMING HOME

210

then begins to stretch, opening to the greater reality in spite of old

attachments and beliefs in limitation. Such a turning point

Look

for

those times in your

unhmitedness. For example, self's

is

well-being in your

not

You

real.

life,

when you

Who

you think any of this

life

do you think you

new

stuff will

there

resistance to

is

are experiencing

more

may pipe up and

your personality

are a fool to create your

unlimited action.

when

life

is significant.

of true

say, "This

around unlimited thinking or

anyway? And what makes

are,

work?" In those comments you are

hearing your personality's fear and need for control. Recognize the fear

and control, and give them a blessing. You do not need to it

does not help you to resist your resistance.

distress

true

them, for

to feel the

with not trusting your

self.

As you recognize "Yes, here it is again."

this discomfort

With

self.

my

long for well-being, and

I

and get to know

that acceptance you are

add, "In the midst of this distress in true

You simply need

causes. Notice the pain that creeps in

it

resist

unlimited love and well-being

fill

I

personality,

am

my body.

I

it,

you can

open enough I

say,

to also

choose to open to

willing to receive

it.

I

let

allow myself to be a conduit

for vibrant life force."

This kind of affirmation of your truest intent has tremendous power.

Remember

that regardless of whether you feel the transformation in that

moment, something important happens from that inner statement. Use whatever image or words seem the most natural for you. The form of your affirmation

is

important only to capture your intent; your intent

is

what

will activate the transformation.

50 Bridging the Split

We have talked about the split as the gap that appears to exist between limitation

and unhmitedness

many ways,

in our lives.

The

split

can be perceived in

including our difficulty in creating tangible outer conditions

or events that reflect our inner

expanded awareness. As long

as

we

AWAKENENED PERSONALITY

experience

limitation

and unlimitedness

integrated, the split will continue to

We

as

rather

separate

21

than

seem real.

have also discussed the importance of not trying to escape or

reject the split

and have looked

hidden within

it.

ways

at

to

make use

of the

power that lies

Understand, however, that you are not destined to stay

in the split forever.

The steps you take

in exploring the split are

meant

to

take you to a bridge where you can complete your crossing. Or, more

meant

accurately, those steps are

to take you into being the bridge that

brings your inner transcendent experience into outer manifestation in

your world.

The bridge can be found,

ironically, in the very aspect of

your being

that creates the split in the first place: your personality. Its experience of

separation

is

what keeps the

accepts unlimitedness into

begins to change.

It

whole rather than

its

split in existence.

As your personality

awareness and belief system,

its reality

increasingly experiences itself as part of the greater as separate.

As your

personality's reality shifts to

include this unity, the split narrows and unlimitedness begins to be

expressed in your manifestations in the outer world.

The personality takes on a new role as

it finds its

true power in being

the loyal servant to unlimited spirit.

You may

notice this shift as a lessening of the gap between your

personality's daily reality

and your occasions

of

expanded awareness. You

no longer have the sense of needing to give up expanded awareness to function in the limited world, nor do you have to give daily concerns to live

personality's

with expanded awareness. The two

become integrated within you, and your external manifestations. There

you are

up

realities

that integration starts appearing in is

more room

for

you to be

all

of

who

— everywhere!

Because personality

is

functioning in limitation,

oriented to physical reality and it

knows about

is

adept at

manifesting in the physical

world. Your frustration in the past was, in

fact,

that most of your

COMING HOME

212

seemed

manifestations

from

straight

therefore, too limiting for the part of

personality can manifest only limitation, that is

When

what

it

your

you that was growing. Your

experiences.

If it

experiences only

what it manifests in your outer life.

your personality as "real",

is

integrated with unlimited awareness and

able to outwardly manifest that unlimitedness.

identifies

it

Then you

are able to see outer change in your

it is

that reflects your inner

life

Whatever you have been seeking

transformation.

and were,

personality

—whether

satisfying

work, relationship, or another situation for expressing your true the world

This

pays

off.

adept

—

is

one area in which having a strong and healthy personality

is

The

it is

clearer

and more balanced your personality

is,

and the more

at functioning in the physical world, the better

unlimitedness into the forms

A

self in

created naturally and appropriately.

healthy

unlimitedness

personality

becomes

a

it

creates in your

strong

life.

opened

has

that

vehicle

can blend

it

its

consciousness

conveying

for

true

expanded perspective and unlimited well-being into your daily maintain balance and awareness of true world. Similarly,

it

will

to

self's

life. It

can

while taking action in the

self

be able to speak or write and consciously express

true self through that communication.

And one

of its great joys will

be

recognizing the reflection of unlimited spirit in situations that once

seemed filled with

limitation.

51

Approaching the Bridge Just before reaching the bridge of integration, there front of the gate can

want

seem almost

to cross the bridge.

like torture.

You stand on one

foot

is

You

a gate. Standing in are impatient

and then on the

and

other,

waiting for the gate to open. You can see where you want to be and can

even imagine what

it

unlimitedness. True self

unbearable.

Still,

would be is

like

to

have a

becoming more

the gate does not

let

you

pass.

real

life

that

reflects

and limitation more

AWAKENENED PERSONALITY

to

The most empowering thing you can do while you wait at the gate is be fully present right where you are. It may be tempting to mentally

project yourself across to the other side, by either wondering aren't already there or convincing yourself that

imagine the

new

can help prepare you

reality

but mentally escaping into the a

213

you

are.

why you

Letting yourself

for creating

it

in your

life,

new reality to avoid being where you are is

form of self-rejection and will only delay your progress.

All true change

You

will

is

made in a state of self-acceptance.

open the gate by accepting where you

gate,

you have tremendous power you may not even

power

to accept limitation.

may

be, "But

I

don't

This

want

may sound

As you

are.

realize.

face the

You have

the

disappointing, and your response

to accept Hmitation;

I

want

to get

away from

it!"

Consider two things.

First,

notice that the description given in

"Bridging the Split" about the fully integrated state included limitation.

But

when you become

Umitation

the bridge, you will not be caught in the

—you will be able to carry the limited and unlimited

You cannot carry what you

resist,

so to

become the bridge you must be

without resistance to

either. If

you are resisting

are not ready for the integration.

it

and

you are

still

trying to escape hmitation,

Second, recognize that accepting hmitation does not to be comfortable feel

with

it.

together.

You can accept

yourself and

mean you have still

not always

comfortable with yourself. You can accept fear and not necessarily be

comfortable with situations where you are

afraid. So,

hmitation and not be entirely comfortable with

about acceptance, however,

is

it.

you can accept

What

is

significant

that as you witness your discomfort, you

sense that at your core you are in well-being. Even

if

your emotions and

your nervous system seem to be struggling with the situation, your inner witness

is

distinction

in well-being is

important.

and you recognize

it

as the greater power. This

COMING HOME

214

The willingness

to carry the paradox

of well-being within distress

is

the

ability to hold power.

If

you are

still

facing the gate, you are

hold power and to carry

it

into your

you will definitely need this that your greater self has

ready for

it

life.

still

After you

ability, so it is

you stand on

developing your ability to

move through

the gate,

with compassionate wisdom

this side of the gate until

you are

to open.

The best practice

for carrying

power

to give yourself extended

is

periods of true well-being and connection with Source. That

is

the

power

that will ultimately be streaming through your being into your

uniting you with the infinite possibilities you

life,

now hold in your heart.

52 Carrying Power

Power comes from and

always

unlimitedness

your

life.

consciously

have is all

With

been. that

Sustained really

conscious

While you stand

embody

true well-being regardless of

power your system

and greater well-being. As you choose to all

thought,

does.

strange that your

Your body's

circuitry has

been

self,

and

all

is

learning

align

situations,

with

you are

self.

body needs

personality's experience of limitation.

true

and

all feeling,

teaching your body about the presence of true

it

your

Nothing can separate you from Source.

at the gate gathering

Source in the midst of

may seem

of

a situation that is comfortable or uncomfortable,

"positive" or "negative".

It

awareness

needed to make a dramatic difference in

that change, you

whether you are in

to carry greater

is

being urdimited. You are unlimited already

to learn this presence, but

laid out largely according to

your

As you become more aligned with

as the well-being of Source begins to

fill

more

of your

physical body, your body's pathways of consciousness are repatterned.

It

A WAKENENED PERSONALITY

is

as

though the conduits once were meant

215

to hold a smaller reality,

and

now they are expanding to carry an unlimited one. Imagine that even the tissues of your body are being taught

something new. Ever}

7

cell

has programmed within

it

not only

its

physical

function, but also an ability to experience consciousness. Each cell in

your body has some experience of the consciousness of the whole

organism that you

are.

cells are, in a sense,

As the inner

circuitry

reprogrammed with

therefore, a greater vitality.

The physical

grows

in unlimitedness, the

a greater consciousness and,

with more

tissues are infused

vibrant well-being and potential for a healthier, extended

life.

53 Discharging Excess Energy

It

can be uncomfortable to increase well-being in your body

circuits are not

used to

it.

It

may

if

your

take time for the inner adjustments to

occur that will establish equilibrium around the increase of vibrancy you carry. If

being so highly charged

body may to

do

the

feel

something you are not used

the impulse to discharge some of the energy.

this; after

full

is

to,

your

It is all

right

your body has received the increased charge,

imprint as the model for expanding

its

it

will use

energetic circuitry. That

imprint will remain and will be used by your body long after you discharge the energy that feels like excess.

How you

release this energy

some conscious list

is

important and requires your making

choices. Let's explore

of appropriate outlets

exercise that

is

is

some

possibilities.

At the top of the

physical exercise. Of course,

beneficial to your

body and

its

condition,

it

should be

and preferably

something you enjoy doing. In exercise you are discharging a buildup of vibrant to your

life

force through an activity that

body and,

therefore, to

is

also physically strengthening

your personality.

It

supports your total

well-being and directly increases your ability to carry power in the future.

What if you do

not wish to exercise or you have a physical condition

that does not permit

it?

Life is unlimited;

you always have an

alternative.

COMING HOME

216

Your imagination

a

is

good resource. Imagining

is

easy and can be done

along with or instead of physical exercise. For example,

when you feel the

buildup of intense vibration and the need for discharge, take

five to

twenty minutes for the following inner process.

ATTUNEMENT Discharging Excess Energy

Imagine your body bathed from head to toe in

1.

tissues receive this vitality as spiritual nutrients, life.

.

.

vitality.

and your

cells

.

Your

.

.

glow with

.

2.

As your body

how much

energy

it

energized by this

is

needs to keep and

knows

vitality, it intuitively

how much

it

needs to

release.

Imagine that your body releases the right amount through the pores of your skin. Like light shining through a porous cloth, this extra vitality illuminates the space around you 3.

To

close,

spend

at least

and is then released into your life

one minute allowing your body to

feel a

comfortable sense of well-being and ease

9 Feel free to experiment with different images. Sometimes you find that the energy

may

wants to leave through certain areas of your body, or

you may be inclined to breathe the energy out with each exhale.

When

excess energy

is

released,

anything being wrong with vitality

from Source.

It

it.

it is

There

is

not "gotten rid of" because of

nothing wrong with

would not have been within you

it;

it

to begin with

if it

did not have something good to give you. As you release this energy

goes to

your

life,

to give all

work

it

how

for you. It

knows, by

to guide you,

its

own

intelligence,

and what to manifest

where

is

it

to go in

—without your having

any further thought! Just releasing your excess energy sets this

in motion.

A WAKENENED PERSONALITY

21

Be creative finding other ways of energetic discharge that work

A

you.

hot bath

may

walk

help, a quiet

in the

imagining you are running through the surf

woods, or

at the beach.

minutes

five

Housecleaning,

gardening, or even reading the funnies can be good. Phoning a friend

understands your process and giving a 'Vibrancy report"

way to feel

the energy and discharge

Recognizing when you need consciously choosing a falling into a pattern of

rather than strengthens

discomfort you

feel

is

through talking about

to

self -nurturing

who

an excellent it.

discharge excess vibrancy and

way

to

do

it

can stop you from

unconscious behavior that weakens your system it.

When

excess energy

is

not discharged, any

from increased vitality may prompt you automatically

and unconsciously to numb,

You may do

it

for

distract, or

by drinking

this

subdue yourself.

coffee, over- or under-eating,

snacking

on sugar} foods, over- or under-exercising, escaping into mental 7

watching TV, surfing the internet, over-focusing on

activity,

a relationship, using

drugs or alcohol, or turning to other types of addictive or potentially

self-

destructive behavior.

So as you open to all

new levels

of vibrancy,

be aware of whether

it is at

uncomfortable for you. Take responsibility for creating rituals that

allow you to receive vibrant well-being, to direct

energy into your

life.

This

is

it,

and to

vibrancy management and

is

release excess

your secret for

carrying power.

54

Moving Through the Gate Your acceptance of limitation and gate;

familiarity

with well-being open the

then your ability to identify with the unlimited will move you

through

it.

You cannot

force or control your

movement through the

gate

any more than you could have forced the gate open or could have flung yourself across the

split.

Making the

limitation in your thoughts

unlimited

is

shift

from identifying with the

and experiences to identifying with the

what propels you forward.

COMING HOME

218

Why is You

necessary to accept limitation to stop identifying with

it

with everything you

identify

Umitation, you limitation

you

must stop

resisting

experience

still

it.

identifying with

When you do stop identifying with

but

it,

To stop

resist.

is

no longer

a barrier for you. It

becomes just another of life's explorations. You no longer hold onto it

no longer stops you from being and expressing who you truly

it

you to

that allows

your true

For example,

self,

work

If

you have been struggling to find work

will manifest.

relationship that supports

life

world from the expanded awareness of

relate to the

that

find your partner.

if

and

are.

Moving through the gate and becoming the bridge changes your in tangible ways.

it?

you in being

you have longed

you have been looking

If

all

of

for outer

who you

truly are,

abundance that

for a

you will

reflects the

abundance and well-being that has begun to grow within you, you will find that, too.

The

list

of possibilities

is

endless.

What manifests for you in

the world

comes directly from your sense of self

To the degree you of

self.

identify

with Umitation, you carry

it

in your sense

Therefore, that limitation manifests into your world.

identify less

with

limitation,

your outer manifestations

Umitation. Similarly, as you identify

As you

reflect

less

more with unlimitedness, you carry

unUmitedness in your sense of seU and that unUmitedness manifests. You then Uve with more situations that recognizably reflect unUmited being

and support your expanded awareness.

Understand that identifying with unlimitedness or Umitation the same as ^identifying with

what

is

"positive" or "negative". It

is

not

is

the

limited aspect of the personaUty that thinks in terms of "positive" and "negative".

To guide you through

that you should think

experiences

if

more

that reality, personaUty

may

teU you

positive thoughts or relate only to positive

you want to Uve in a positive world.

The hidden,

self-defeating

perceived as negative

is

message in

this

behef

is

that anything

potentiaUy dangerous. That creates a need to

avoid, deny, or resist the negative

by continuaUy turning

to the positive

A WAKENENED PERSONALITY

which

actually keeps

frame of reference.

If

you identified with the negative because

you are content to remain

of Umitation, avoiding negativity

to

expand your awareness of

and

Positive

is

your

it is

yourself, others,

your

personality's level

may seem appropriate. But if you

narrow confines of identification with recognize that nothing

at

219

intend

and the world beyond the

limitation,

you will need to

innately positive or negative.

negative

simply

are

personality's

translation

of

comfortable and uncomfortable, trusted and not trusted. Yet Source, the vitality of life

and

and

—

beings

all

essence

level,

brilliance of all creation, is the core energy of

as well as

how

all

can anything be innately negative? With unlimited as the essence energy that everything,

including your pleasant and unpleasant experiences, is

things

thoughts, feelings, and situations. At that

and unwavering well-being

love

all

is

made

—where

of

there true negativity?

You can afford

It

can be helpful to notice

to be all embracing.

when something seems

pleasant or

unpleasant to you, comfortable or uncomfortable, safe or unsafe,

life

enhancing or depleting. Use that information to make your choices. That is

part of honoring your personality's needs and

is at

times necessary for

protecting yourself or supporting your emotional and physical health. Yet,

you work against your movement into greater awareness

or resist

all

thoughts, feelings, and

perceives as negative. "negativity"

It

may

life

if

you

reject

situations that your personality

serve you to look

and connect with Source, which

beyond the discomfort and

is at

the core of all of it.

9 MEDITATION Moving Through the Gate

1.

little

Breathe gently and

deeper into your true

easily, self

allowing each breath to take you just a

COMING HOME

220

As your breath takes you

2.

true

self, it is

is

do anything to make

already within you, no matter

gently and easily takes you to

As you move into your true ...

self

As you stand in front of the

To move through the

4.

the midst of arise.

.

.

.

If

—

it's

—may be very

you

deeper into

You do not need to it

try to

stronger. Unlimited well-

how subtle it feels, and your breath

will be passing

is

in this well-being.

and into the well-being, you find the gate.

gate, it

opens for you

draw on Source energy

gate,

(true self) in

your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations as they

That energy

well-being 5.

all

little

it

The gate through which you

3.

deeper and a

you into well-being

also taking

create this well-being or

being

a little

feel

vibrant

subtle,

life,

but

unconditional love, and urdimited

it is real.

Let yourself enjoy

any excess energy in your system,

let it

it.

be released

through the pores of your skin into the world 6.

To

close, let

Then

relaxation.

your body be bathed with a feeling of comfort and

stretch

and open your

eyes.

55

The Nothing After

making the

shift to a

new

you may be

level of consciousness,

surprised to find yourself feeling disoriented, as though you can't see the terrain

and get your bearings. You may think, "This

would

be."

Of course

it isn't

—you had imagined

conscious awareness, which

was more

your greater potential, which

is

a

limited.

it

isn't

what I thought it

from your old

You have stepped

may be facing the

People usually think the Nothing means something

when

I

into

more subtle realm. Until your conscious

awareness acclimates to this subtlety, you

example,

level of

guide people into true

self,

Nothing.

is

wrong. For

they sometimes say

disappointedly, "I'm not getting anything. There's nothing there." That

is

AWAKENENED PERSONALITY

music to

my

up

confirms they are dipping deeper into their true

ears. It

than they are used

Their impulse

to.

Hover

at the

into true

is

and give

to stay right there. Just

hang

self,

the

more subtle the experience.

matter your current level of conscious awareness, the Nothing

always the next level deeper is

to reject the experience

self

edge of the Nothing. Be gently curious and wait.

The deeper you go

No

is

or do something else. But the thing to do

out. Be.

221

more subtle than you

awareness

think nothing

new

used to perceiving. As long

subtlety,

Yet,

is there!

hover in the Nothing, perceive

reality there, including all sensations,

it

it

you calmly

if

let

room into

lit

what

happen

will

Within

a

if

a

you stand

and begin to

so dimly

that

this. If

seems completely dark,

it

of

few minutes you will begin to make out shapes of the

exactly

with the couch and

large chairs.

it.

A

Nothing. As you patiently wait

it

willing to value experience so subtle that at

may

will be subtle.

first

a stronger sensation.

Or microscopic

you are not even sure

self-love

it

it

in the Nothing, the

in your expectation of

may waft

your chest that you previously would have thought

The longer you wait

You must be

notice a feeling of calm and well-being so

you would have overlooked

tiny that previously

new subtlety

deeper reality based in greater love, wisdom

well-being will appear. But

For example, you

The longer

room will become.

how it works with the

and begin to perceive self

you step from

you just stand there awhile? Your eyes will adapt,

there, the clearer the

is

lit

do

to

in the Nothing, your conscious awareness will adjust to the

is real.

will

your conscious awareness

will automatically acclimate

room

furniture, perhaps starting

and true

It

what previously it could not. That is how awareness expands.

a brightly

This

your conscious

will not perceive deeper reality.

You already trust your physical perception

course.

as

oriented to the previous, denser level and hasn't yet

is still

acclimated to the

are

— and

is

more

it

so gently through

didn't count.

will be

revealed— and

The more frequently you return

to the

Nothing, the easier and more natural the transition will become.

With

the more real

each

visit to

it

will

become

to you.

the Nothing your conscious awareness will learn to expand.

COMING HOME

222

9 MEDITATION Being in the Nothing

1.

Breathe gently and little

2.

deeper into your true

Assume

allowing each breath to take you just a self

that each breath will continue taking you a

into true 3.

easily,

As you

self,

deeper

little

even when you are not thinking of it.

breathe, be gently curious about finding a place in your

body where you

feel nothing. If tensions or

you

emotions or notice a flurry of thoughts, do not

feel specific

push them away. Just

what

interests

let

aches

call to

you, or

them be in the background; they

you right now. Be gently drawn to

a place

are not

where

there seems to be nothing happening. 4.

Let your awareness hover at that place of no sensation as you breathe.

5.

If

sensations arise in that place, do not push

them be

in the background; they are not

now. Continue

letting

in your body, even 6.

When

them away. Just

what

interests

let

you right

your awareness be drawn to the Nothing

if it's

in a

new place, and gently hover.

you become comfortable with the Nothing, add

this

element: Gently look for the tiniest, most microscopic well-being

you can 7.

If

find,

and let your awareness hover in it.

that well-being

tiniest,

most microscopic well-being you can

awareness hover in 8.

To

grows or changes, again gently look

close, let

relaxation.

it.

.

.

find,

and

for the let

your

and so on

your body be bathed with a feeling of comfort and

Then

stretch,

open your

9

eyes,

and move slowly.

AWAKENENED PERSONALITY

223

LOUISA "The Nothing

everything," answered Louisa

is

most important true

self lesson.

seems like nothing

where

is

who

I

darkness and nothingness turns out to be

"How

did you discover that?"

I

and triumphs

really am.

asked to hear her

What

in our lives that

we had I

appears to be

all potential."

asked, wondering

the answer. Friends for twenty years, struggles

I

"Going into the space in myself that

find

I

when

was

why

I

shared so

didn't

know

many

of the

surprised not to

remember

this spiritual milestone of hers.

"In the late eighties, least

I

thought

settling in,

nothing

would

I

there,'

My

nothing?'

experiences appearing.

I

was

it

I

was having

I

a

a problem," she began.

find myself facing a big hole of darkness. There's

would

think,

'What do

impulse was to reject

was used

I

was

my meditations — or at "After closing my eyes and

problem in

it

I

do with

this big hole of

and search

dark

for the uplifting

to in meditation, but the dark hole kept

sure something

was wrong.

I

hadn't started meditation

to find darkness!"

No wonder I didn't recollect this story; Louisa and I had only begun to get to know each other then. Neither of us had yet recognized what good friends we would become or how long lasting our friendship would be.

"What kind of meditation were you doing back then?" "I

had learned

a meditation practice of closing

saying, 'Relax, relax, relax,'

and then continuing

wonderful. Not only did

feel

uplifted, light, buoyant,

money, relationships Daily struggle

more real

fell

I

and deeply

I

felt

eyes, silently

to sit quietly.

It

at ease. less

My

daily concerns

important to

expanded, and

my

I

was felt

—work,

my well-being.

greater being

became

to me.

"Then, one day

it

changed. The darkness and nothingness started

appearing. Almost as soon as couldn't see I

my

inquired.

relaxed during the meditation,

—faded, becoming

away.

I

I

closed

beyond it or get past

thought, 'where

is it?'

I

it.

T

my eyes it was right in front of me.

I

know there's more to me than this,'

assumed something was wrong

—perhaps

I

was

COMING HOME

224

encountering a block in myself. For weeks, every time

meditated

I

was

I

confronted with the same dark, empty nothingness.

went

"I

to one of your talks

and asked you about

In your true self

it.

channeling, you told me, 'Go into that darkness and emptiness.

Nothing

empty. Everything

isn't really

The universe

is

is there.

was

a relief to

I

me.

Tm not

and

I

itself to

The Nothing.

as

I

started

doing anything wrong. I'm supposed to be here with is

just

what

it

my mind by

asking,

me now; I need to

looks like to

'What

What else is coming to me here?'

awareness flowed through me, showing expansive

I

I

else is here that

thought of the

whooshed

everything started moving. Stars

of them.

me

level of

next meditation the dark hole of nothingness appeared again,

opened

noticed?

new

it.'

my

"In

there yet. Understanding

decided then and there to open to the

I

the nothingness. Darkness

move into

realized that the darkness wasn't

I

what was

just wasn't seeing

awareness that was presenting believing,

stars are there.

there for you.'

"At that point everything changed. really nothing;

Even the

The

by,

I

stars,

haven't

and then

and new ideas and

me more of my true

self

and how

am in my being. Then I was moving with the stars; I was part

Whatever they were,

had the same

I

stuff in

me.

I

had

all

potential.

my life to experience that I really am part of the universe. am not separate from it. I am not a stranger in it after all. I am part of the "It

I

changed

whole." u

Did you used to

feel separate?"

I

asked.

"Oh, yes, definitely. For as long as didn't really belong here, in this world,

Nothing,

I

used to look out

think, There's a

world out

can remember

I

on

my window there,

I

earth. Before

of

it.'

felt

that

I

opening to The hillside

and

It felt sad,

but

on the

at the trees

and I'm not part

had

normal.

"Then one day, meditations, usual,

I

I

felt

I

had started moving

was looking out my window

but this time

separate,

after

I

it felt

was

I

felt

The Nothing

at the trees

different. Instead of

part of them.

into

looking

connected.

It

on the

at

in

my

hillside, as

them and

made me

feeling

stop and

AWAKENENED PERSONALITY

Tm

think,

never

way

felt this

myself and belief

looking out at the world, and before.

had

shift

a

changed

I've really

how

I've

perceive

I

me

universe wants

can

feel it in

like

I

shifted.

profound

forward a knowing that here.

the cells of

I

effect

really do

Now, 20

on

my

life.

belong here,

years later,

Because of

am

I

I still

my body. I know that

I'll

a part of

it, I

life,

carried

and the

carry that knowing;

I

never go back to feeling

don't belong in this world."

"How

did that knowing stay with you?"

was

over the years that Louisa

whenever the

I

asked in awe.

had noticed

I

back in touch with true

facile at getting

stresses of life pulled her off track. "Did

anything to keep renewing the knowing, or did its

belong here.

I

my place in the world — and my place in the universe.' My old

about not belonging had

"That

self

Wow,

feel that

I

225

it

just stay

you do

with you on

own?" "Practice, practice, practice! I've practiced staying in touch

choice.

My

expansiveness,

my

by

it,

connection with the universe, and

belonging in the world have stayed real to integrating

with

my

me because I've made a point of

them into my daily life. I practiced a lot!"

"How did you do that?" I asked. "First,

I

continued to meditate.

experience in

my

meditations

a

was not

and important

reality, a legitimate

normal part of my life here on

recognized that the expansive

I

just an 'altered state.' It

reality.

earth,

I

chose to accept

expansive experience from that meditation into

seemed

I

had accepted

my

a

as a reality,

and to value it.

"Second, at the end of every meditation,

awhile, although

it

was

I

chose to integrate

my

daily awareness. For

expansive experience as a

like a separate reality that didn't

my

connect with

my

reality, it

daily reality

being at work, talking with people, driving, shopping, fixing dinner, and

soon. "So

I

added

a third step:

made

a point of

invite

it

my

into

my

meditation.

At various times during

pausing to remember day. Especially helpful

To me,

it

represented

my

my daily activities,

was the image

my

I

expansive experience and to of the stars from

being part of the unlimited

COMING HOME

226

Remembering the

universe and, simultaneously, belonging in this world. stars

brought

my true self into my personality in an instant.

"Cultivating the integration took a lot of practice, and doing like exercise

worth

my

like

Because

it.

My

to blend.

and

—

I

was

exercising

my

awareness muscles. But

it felt

it

was

my two worlds started which was my true self,

kept repeating those exercises,

I

expansive state from meditation,

daily awareness,

my

which was

began integrating.

personality,

That integration has continued over the years."

"Was

this all

tangible, too?"

I

done with your awareness, or did you do something

asked.

got creative about giving myself tangible reminders so

"I

wouldn't

I

my day and forget, especially at work where distractions were greatest. Some days I would put a short, inspiring quote on my desk and read it every couple of hours. Reading the quote would trigger my get caught

up

in

expanded awareness in the midst of the hubbub of work. Other days

I

my desk to remind my subconscious, whenever I looked in that direction, that my true self had come to work with me. Or I would put a special, little stone in my pocket when I got dressed in the morning. During the day I would notice it whenever I put my hand in my would

light a candle

pocket, or sometimes

on

I

would just remember it was

remind me to take a breath and open to "Over the years,

I've

also

opportunities for integrating

times

my true self.

talking. This is fabulous.

"Okay. Let's

Money, or

life

as

my true self and personality. Those were the

Give

see...oh, yes,

my lack of it,

because

belong.

I

I

was done with her

story. "Hey,

money and

thinking of

like

relationship.

The

real biggies.

an insurmountable obstacle to

money made me

'I

can't

don't have money. I'm not like everybody

else.

don't deserve to be here.'

seemed to me that everybody I

feel,

Not having money made me

not entitled to goodness, and different from everybody

engaged way, but

keep

me some examples," I told her.

used to seem

my happiness. Back then,

"It

my

needed it most, anyway."

I

life

and that would

used the big challenges in

Louisa stopped, thinking she

of

there,

else

was

be part I

feel

don't

weak,

else.

able to live

life

in a fully

could not. Everybody else was in a big, colorful

AWAKENENED PERSONALITY

parade, complete with bands, balloons and

down

the street, but

couldn't be in

I

it. I

its

way

the curb watching

it all

floats,

was on

227

trumpeting

goby.

had been

"I

living

with that perspective

for so long that

had no

I

how it was affecting me until my therapist pointed it out. She helped me to notice how I felt about myself and money — and then she helped me to realize that those limiting beliefs weren't true. That got me jump started. "From there, I started applying my spiritual 'exercises' to money. awareness of

When

I

or

thought of money,

meditation.

because

it

When

made

I

remembering the

a point of

from

the old feelings of unworthiness and not belonging

had money struggles sneaked back

I

stars

in, I

did the exercise again:

taking a few breaths and remembering the stars and

my

expansiveness.

Or sometimes I looked out the window for 10 seconds and remembered, T am

a part of things.'

When I caught myself having that feeling of being on

the curb as everybody

That's not

else's

parade passed by me,

and the

true,'

I

reminded myself,

just

feeling lost its power.

Practice, practice,

practice!"

"And the

exercises helped?"

I

asked.

"Doing those exercises made a world of difference!

come over me.

lightness

My

old associations with

shame, not deserving, and not belonging

money

— transformed

belonging, being part of the universe, and being part of

myself as an integral (and wanted!) part of that

I

deserved

"I

made

all

this integration of true self into

into

me from

the universe

"In retrospect, feel

And

movement and flow

rather than separates is full, like

life.

made me

felt

—

a

new

feelings of

to feelings of

Experiencing

increasingly feel

goodness, including money.

in tiny steps over the years.

part of the

life

I

it's

I'm so glad

I

my personality's experience did it! Now that feel I'm a

of the universe,

it,

I

and that money connects

my whole life moves

and flows.

My life

is full.

clear that feeling a part of the universe

more supported, and

as

I

my thoughts and feelings

made me

integrated that feeling of universal support

about money,

my finances grew to

support

COMING HOME

228

me

"And relationship?" years, so

I

was

income

my finances are balanced, and I feel comfortable."

These days

increased.

my

world. Career opportunities improved, and

this

in

I

asked.

We had hashed over our relationships for

curious to hear her perspective now.

"The tough thing for

me

in relationship

was

that

I

would

easily lose

my sense of self, my rootedness in who I am. I would adapt to the man too much, without even knowing it, until I lost my self-esteem and selfconfidence. His wants and needs would become more important than my own. At that point it would be hard for me to get my authentic self back because

felt small, like

I

I

didn't deserve

much, and reclaiming myself felt

trudging upstream, against the current of the man's expectations of

like

me.

was

"This

with

especially true

was very overpowering.

made the commitment exercise in

which

going to be

who

grounded and balanced.

to be

am.

Who

as

you know,

decided to take a stand for myself.

I

Tm

said to myself,

I

I

Finally

my last boyfriend, who, I

I

created a mental

going to stand

my

ground. I'm

am is good. It does not matter what he or how much he rants and raves at me. I will I

how he criticizes me, remain loyal to my authentic self.' thinks,

"By that time,

My

self.

is

I

called

my

strong experience of true

on that expanded awareness to help me in

reminded me,

in me.

I

am the

am wanted was

already had developed

expanded awareness in meditation had begun to help me with

money, so too. It

I

as a

here.'

relationship,

am who I am. I am in the universe, and the universe

l

I

stars,

and the

stars are me.

Remembering

whole being. Because

I

belong in this world, and

that truth gave

of

it, I

me

who

I

flaws,

I

confidence in

realized that even

if I

had

I

was much more than my flaws. "It

wasn't always easy, but

relationship,

expressing more of

backlashes from

and

my

my boyfriend,

therapist for help

Finally he

and

I

so

I

my wants

remembering

I

got

many

it

who

I

became

was and what clear that

I

wanted.

he wanted a

me rather than the real me. It was painful for we were going to be good together someday,

'lesser'

to lose the fantasy that

and needs.

in the

turned to the support of good friends

broke up because

relationship with the

me

became increasingly authentic

I

AWAKENENED PERSONALITY

but

it

that

I

was

am

better to find out the truth and

move

on. Since then,

Tm not in a relationship right now, but as that

it

genuinely

belonging, and love of life reflect

me.

integrating

be

who

that

is

I

It all

reflects I

feel,

me.

plus

The

look at

I

me

self esteem.

my life,

well-being,

I

can

tell

contentment,

my work and house, all feel like they

has come as a direct result of moving into The Nothing,

my expanded

awareness into

authentically am,

my daily life,

and understanding

that

allowing myself to

am

I

a reflection of all

true in the universe.

"I still

when

knowing

as big, expansive, and powerful as the universe has kept

from losing myself to another person or handing over my

you

229

I

have struggles sometimes, and

need them.

I

know

expanded awareness into profound contentment."

this for sure:

my

life

I

do

My

my

spiritual 'exercises'

integration of true

has brought

self's

me abundance and

PartX

9

PLANETARY SURVIVAL Facing Challenge in the

World

56

Deepening Your Awareness Your breath has the

moment you

intelligence;

ask

it to.

it

can guide your awareness into true

You can draw on

this intelligence right

self

now.

For the next few moments, notice your breathing and imagine that you are allowing each breath to take

you into true

self.

Only

a slight

change

is

necessary; you are closer to true self than you think. Let the next breath

take you just a .

little

And the next breath

deeper

a little

deeper

still.

.

And the next breath

When you and return to of your

life.

start

it

your day with a few minutes of presence in true

self

periodically as the day progresses, you change the quality

You operate from

a

new inner depth

and, therefore, relate to a

deeper level of everyone and everything around you. At the end of the day,

even though you

may have gone through

the normal course of events and

have had your usual responses, something will be

different.

new imprint on you and, whether you you will have had a new effect on people. will have left a

The world

noticed

it

or not,

Living from even a slightly deeper place within yourself

expands your perceptions oftheworld aroundyou

and enrichesyour interactions with other people

This does not necessarily

mean

that you will be calm or

time, that people will

do what you want them to

bother you anymore.

It

will

remains

become more constant

circumstances.

all

It is

the quality of your

the

do, or that nothing will

does not even mean that the events in your

will occur any differently.

You

happy

life

life

that will transform.

fully present, closer to a state of well-being that

regardless

of

any

You will become more

fluctuations

in

centered in true

self.

emotions

This transformation matters because you are part of a planetary

or

shift

in consciousness, a consistent worldwide progression into deeper, more

expansive levels of

self.

The world you experience

in ten or

will be very different from the one you experience today.

twenty years

You

are part of

COMING HOME

234

this world, intimately

you develop in your

connected to everyone in life

the greater awareness

it;

your personal contribution to planetary

is

growth.

57

and the One Mind

Survival

In spite of the spiritual transformation taking place, thinking

the world

may be

like in ten or

twenty years can be disquieting. The

on the planet include widespread problems

current crises

environment, economic instability, societal violence, health,

human

rights,

Clearly the path

expect

it

and the dangers

of atomic

are following needs

relating to the

w ars, r

starvation,

power and weaponry.

some major

work

repair

if

we

to take us into a healthy future.

Many fear

we

about what

who are spiritually focused relate to these crises with "We must hurry and evolve or we will not survive!" This is

people

and panic.

a contradiction: belief in the

power

of spiritual evolution

survival. Spiritual evolution is a given; there is

not happen or that

it

will not

no need to

and

fear for

fear that

it

happen fast enough.

The human specks and mil survive and

the planet

thrive.

Throughout human existence, people have always had reasons concerned for their

survival.

What makes

particularly significant is that they are

personal concerns ("Will

will

my

current

survival

no longer limited to

self/family/country

survive?"),

to

be

issues

individual,

but

now

extend to fears and deep caring about the condition of the entire planet. This

is

logical

on that great

we know we now have the power to destroy life And along with the development of this destructive

because

a scale.

power have come the tangible proof that

we

iconic photos of planet Earth taken from space, are

one population sharing one home, undeniably

interconnected and interdependent.

PLANETARY SURVIVAL

The

result of the recognition of our united existence

vulnerability

is

world now

deeper

with

is at

own

their personal issues of survival. Because survival

stake,

it is

necessary for

all

people to become aware

on the planetary whole. And from there

of their effect

and our united

that individuals can no longer struggle solely on their

in an isolated way, of the

235

it

must go

a step

still.

The group mind, the consciousness shared by

all

beings on earth,

must become real

back

Let's step

moment and review

for a

perspective. Unlimited love

material for

all

As the Source real. It is also its

is

all

what

from the broader

this

the essence of our being.

forms of life and

of

to us.

all

events that occur everywhere on earth.

creation and existence, unlimited love is

most enduring;

expression can be changed

the building

It is

it

is

what

is

most

cannot be destroyed. The forms of

— from water to steam,

fire to

smoke, a sky

scraper to rubble, a fetus to a newborn, one thought or emotion to

another

—but the unhmited love and creative intelligence of \ibrant

force cannot be harmed.

It

knows

only joy, the joy of being.

Consider that unlimited Source does not fear for it

recognizes

all

vibrant

life

It

never forgets that what

is

most

Because

its love, it is

not

real is the love

and

force at the core of everything.

Being fully aware of expression of

itself,

itself called "the

limited view of

being of unlimited

unlimited Source notices that the

human

personality" believes in fear

and

a

Yet the personality longs to evolve beyond the

life.

constraints and suffering of

assistance

its survival.

things as creative manifestations of

afraid of anything.

life

life,

its

limited reality into the expansive well-

and this creates

a pull

on Source to

assist. Source's

comes through events that allow the personality

to

grow on

its

own terms, involving issues the personality recognizes as real. The

personality's

experiences itself

itself as

most fundamental concern

more

more than anything.

real It

than unlimited

wants

is its survival.

spirit, it fears

to preserve its

way

Because

it

the loss of

of organizing the

COMING HOME

236

world around

and

itself,

is

resistant to

any drastic change. This means

that survival issues get the personality's full attention the

moment

they

arise.

With support from

the greater consciousness of Source,

we

all

have

created the planetary crises to assist the personality in recognizing the

oneness

we

all

share.

Our

physical survival

now depends on

the world's

people coming together with one mind, one intent, one purpose: to find values

and actions that nurture the earth and its

residents.

— and

Your greatest personal contribution to the survival the planet can be share with

all

made by becoming aware

beings on the planet. There

with others,

spiritually to unite

by existing you are naturally emanating from Source; beings.

of the connection

in

for that

is

thrival

— of

you already

nothing you have to do

union has already occurred; just

One mind. One mind is

a quality of spirit

the thought and creativity shared by

it is

What now matters most is

all

directing your conscious awareness to

this connection.

Understand that being in One mind does not mean that everyone thinks the same thoughts; intellect.

Nor does

it

continue to be the

mean

full

it is

not a mass joining of the personality's

that you lose any of your autonomy.

individual you have always been.

You

will

One mind

is

simply an interconnectedness in spirit that transcends the personality's experience of separation and limitation.

One mind is

the spiritual intelligence

shared by

As you become aware

of your participation in

the door for expansive thought to

where

it

all beings.

come

One mind, you open

into your conscious daily

life

can be put to practical use. You are essentially reaching into a

realm in which

all

move through you

possibilities are held in "potential", inviting

into "real

life".

them

to

Naturally, this broadens the range of

information and creative impulse you draw from as you create your

and make your contribution to planetary transformation.

life

PLANETARY SURVIVAL

237

This expansion will come as you regularly witness your unity with beings. at the

You can practice this witnessing through meditations

end of

like the

by simply imagining unity from time

this chapter or

during the day. As your natural place in

One mind becomes

all

one

to time

real to you,

your personality will be able to receive and use the greater perspective

and

creativity that is shared in unity. This connection will bring a subtle,

new power to your thoughts, ideas, and actions.

In

One mind, you are sharing

a limitless resource of thought

with

One mind draws from limited

to,

it.

is

beings on the planet.

a collective pool of thought,

This resource

not

is

all

In other words,

ideas, yet

it is

One mind

is

and pulling out

a

human

infinitely

which means that everyone of specific ideas so intellect. It is

it is

not

pure thought.

more than ideas.

not a network through which everyone

exchanges ideas. Getting an idea reservoir

made up

or even influenced by, the

the source of

It is

all

is

not a matter of reaching into this

thought that suits you. Instead, the vibrant

energy of unlimited thought always moves through you. Your brain translates the energy of pure thought into your personal thoughts, doing

so according to your sense of reality.

The

comes from One mind: your connection with

You may know other people whose

essence all

energy of those ideas

beings and

all possibility.

ideas are similar to yours. There

always groups of people translating the unLimited vibration of

are

thought in similar ways. Yet each idea shared by the group

still

the personal identity of each individual. The idea

not any more

than

real

idea

—

is

that.

What

is real

—before,

itself is

during, and after the

begins in

life

of the

the vibrant energy of urdimited thought.

This relates directly to the transition of the planetary consciousness.

Your contact with true

self will

attune your awareness to a more refined

vibration, a different frequency than

you identify with now.

It

will enable

your brain to interpret the energy patterns of pure thought in ways that cannot presently do. You will translate thought into ideas

it

that, at this

COMING HOME

238

moment, seem beyond you because you

are not yet consciously connected

with true self at such a deep level.

The profound ideas that

come from

will

will contribute to the thrival of the planet

a refinement in the translation of unlimited thought into

As you move deeper into true

ideas.

process of evolution. true self

The deepening

and One mind

self in

your daily

life,

you

assist this

with

of your conscious connection

will increase your ability to hold awareness at a

more refined vibrational frequency. And the energy patterning of your

new life

sense of self will manifest as

more expansive thoughts,

and

actions,

experiences.

Recognize the contribution this allows you to make to the world. Perhaps your

way

of

working

for a

more harmonious planet

even centers on, political activity or making changes in your

includes, or lifestyle.

Yet

even in the midst of your life-enhancing practical action, the most

powerful thing you can do

is

to continue to contact deeper levels of

self.

This will give your actions greater effect and will provide you with the necessary attunement to bring creative,

new solutions to the world.

MEDITATION The One Mind

1.

As you breathe, imagine that each breath has

intelligence that 2.

As your breath keeps breathing you deeper

imagination

One mind of

life

show you your connection

of all beings

on the planet

natural

there.

into true

self, let

to the group consciousness

The One mind

is

your

— the

a vibrant pulse

that carries unlimited love and unlimited thought directly to you.

3.

thought ideas

knows your true self and gently takes you

a

Notice that this vibrant essence of unlimited love and unlimited is

greater than the personal you, yet your

and perceptions that create your experience

mind

of the

translates

world

it

into

PLANETARY SURVIVAL

The energy

239

moves through your being and is then released to become unlimited, unformed thought once more Continue 4.

to witness the

of thought

One mind

as

it

enters you,

then flows on to become the unlimited

it

translated into your world,

One mind again

As you continue receiving the One mind,

5.

love

is

circulates through you.

With each

the joy of having this subtle love

notice the unhmited

breath, allow your

body

to feel

move into your tissues

Imagine that this love radiates through your body and out the

6.

pores of your skin, directly into your personal world, the world you

It

Unhmited love goes

day

in every

goes into the metal of your

live

into everything in your environment.

car, into

the material of your home, into the

clothes in your closet

Slowly open your eyes and look around. Be aware that

7.

emanation of love and unlimited thought continues life.

.

.

as

You have witnessed your connection with

.

have allowed

it

to touch you, to

into your conscious

become more

this

you go about your

the

One mind. You

real to you,

and to come

life.

58 Transforming Fear

We live in a time when the personality's survival issues are being globally and

stimulated,

planet

is

present,

at

fear

about personal safety and the possible ruin of the

an all-time high. Some frightened people point to

and future-predicted

disasters,

past,

caused by humans or by nature,

and declare those disasters to be evidence of

how

close the planet

is

to

destruction.

Fear

is

beneficial to the extent

it

prompts you to take notice

of the

circumstances you are living with and motivates you to take constructive action. It

can be a healthy wake-up

call,

releasing

enough adrenaline into

your system to help you move through old patterns of denial or inaction. But

if

fear is

overwhelming you and causing you to shut down or

to

COMING HOME

240

with the doom, something

identify

circuit in

amiss.

is

You

are caught in a closed

which fear is working against you rather than for you.

Crisis

is

meant

to be identified,

not identified with

Remember, you manifest what you carry especially the issues

with

identify

fear

in your experience of

you identify with or believe to be most

and

real.

self,

As you

energy patterns of that identity

disaster, the

emanate into your world and take form, perpetuating the very distress

overwhelms you.

that already

This does not that of

mean you should

you should ignore

resist

distress in the

world to prevent manifesting more

You do not manifest everything you

it.

your fear (or other feelings) or

feel or

observe or respond

but rather only what you carry in your identity. In certain feelings

or look at

identifying with them;

it

specific

fact,

refusing to allow

issues will not keep

will just keep

to,

you from

you out of touch with what you

are carrying.

So what can you do predicted, from people

help you

make

when you

who

hear about disasters, present or

are in a state of fear?

These four steps may

constructive use of what can be an overwhelming cultural

input of frightening information.

9 ATTUNEMENT Responding to People's Fear

1.

Be aware of the

where that basic

fear those people are projecting.

fear resonates in yourself. Survival fears

human needs such

as having

enough money or

Or, you

may be

afraid for

whole

planet.

Notice the kind of fear you

acknowledge

it

as your

may

Then

notice

center on your

a loving relationship.

your physical survival or for the survival of the

own.

are

feeling,

and then

PLANETARY SURVIVAL

few moments and support yourself

Sit for a

2.

Most people do not do

fear.

this.

They

241

in accepting your

try to skip over the fear

and go

directly into action, complaint, or denial because underneath the fear

they

and

feel helpless

There

make you

alone.

nothing wrong with your

is

does not weaken you or

fear. It

a less spiritual person, nor does

make you

necessarily

it

effective in the world. In fact, fear carries strong energy that

consciously directed into constructive thought and action.

can be

You can take

advantage of this hidden power by giving yourself time to notice the

As long

it feels

Drop

fear

fear is

true

there,

go ahead and

like to

feel

Let

it.

my

be afraid for

it

have

its

survival."

may

into a deeper level of self that still

be with you, but

something greater;

it is

it is

not

expression.

Allow the

u

So

fear to

Your breath can take you there

self.

4.

is

all

just underneath the fear.

that exists. Along with the

the unconditional love and well-being of

ten breaths breathe you deeper into true

As your breath continues

instantly. Let each of

self,

to take

Everyone on the planet has a true

with everyone

you

as

else's.

self,

you deeper into true

and your true

Let your imagination

your next

gently and easily.

remember your connection with the planetary whole and

to

fear.

itself.

3.

The

it is

what

this is

reveal

as

less

show

its

self,

well-being.

self is

this to you. It

connected

may come

an image of being joined with everyone on the planet, or you

may simple feel or sense the unity. If

you need to begin imagining

picture yourself in

you will find country.

it

The

witnessing

how you

it

easier to join

of the

a smaller,

scale,

or neighborhood. Perhaps

with your town or your

a small

group

with the entire planet. One mind it,

more personal

state or

your

group does not matter. Witnessing your

One mind with

picture

entire world.

on

One mind with your friends

size

connection in

this

is is

just as effective as

One mind; no matter

you are witnessing the connection you have with the

COMING HOME

242

Sit for a

few moments

in the experience of

One mind.

connects you

It

with other people in love and in unlimited thought. Enjoy the aliveness

and vitality of that connection.

59 Attachment, Suffering, and Disaster

Many

situations considered disasters

by human beings

are quite natural

and necessary occurrences in the broader spectrum of nature. Floods, droughts, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions,

hurricanes, tornadoes,

fires,

and other cataclysmic events have always occurred as the pulse and breath of our planet's evolution. Similarly, through violence, ecological blunders,

and economic and

extremes in

its

political

humanity exhibits

crises,

its

own struggles to evolve.

The higher

collective consciousness, of

knows how important

which we

are each a part,

survival issues are for bringing the personality's

awareness to the One mind, and thus disasters will continue to be part of

human life for some time. The most attachments.

frightening thing about disaster

We

is

that

it

tend to be attached to material things, to people, to

being free of pain, to having certain feelings, to remaining array of other conditions. is

threatens our

Of course,

it isn't

alive,

and to an

wrong to want these things.

It

natural for the personality to seek safety, comfort, and companionship;

the personality desires to be healthy and vital in every desire

and attachment

are not always the

when

being

is

desire

may not be fulfilled

threatened

our desire

—

it is

Attachment

is

is

same

not

way

possible. Yet

thing. If our sense of well-

fulfilled

— or when we

attachment.

anything the personality

mistakes for true well-being.

fear

our

PLANETARY SURVIVAL

Let's

243

look at the most basic attachment: survival. Survival instinct

you to stay

any

also

Attachment to staying alive, however, includes the underlying belief that you will suffer in some way if you

die.

The aspect

tells

long as

it

alive at

cost.

of personality that believes

stays physically alive

is

will have well-being only as

it

panicked

at the

degree you fear that death means losing your

thought of dying. To the

true well-being,

you will be

attached to physical survival.

This attachment will serve you by motivating you to that will keep you alive. However, will

become

and to

feel

a

burden because

when

it is

time to

preparing you peacefully

make you

it

will

it

knows how

wrong and

is

feel conflict

and

is

will try to

It

for the transition of death,

distress.

Avoid death

to give:

attachment

shouldn't happen. So instead of

— and even joyfully—

Attachment to physical survival has only one

there

die, this

choices

will cause your personality to fear death,

it

anguish and suffering as death approaches.

convince you that death

make

at

any

gear, only

cost. It has

a proper time to die or that there is

one message

no awareness that

an extraordinary well-being

to be found in death.

On

the other hand,

unlimited spirit

is

what

alive, vibrant, loving,

you

know

in ever)7 fiber of your being that

most

real in

you

if

is

— and that your

and rooted in well-being

after

spirit

your physical death

the thought of dying will not bring you panic, pain, or suffering. still

desire

stay physically

to

alive

remains

and choose your

daily

You may actions

You

accordingly, but you will not be under the control of attachment. will be choosing

life

while not fearing death.

Attachments occur in discern. For example,

all

areas of our lives

and can be

difficult to

you may have trouble recognizing attachment

relationship because love

and attachment

may feel the emotion of love but

also,

are so easily entwined.

in a

You

perhaps unconsciously, believe your

well-being depends on that person.

To the degree your well-being

depends

relationship

on

another

inadequately so

person,

—your relationship with true

Your relationship with true All That Is

your

self

is

replacing

— and

and is an attachment.

self (or Source, Spirit,

—whatever term you prefer)

is

God, the universe,

your primary relationship and

the only one that can provide you with unwavering, unconditional wellbeing. Well-being

is

true

self's

nature. True self radiates well-being

no

COMING HOME

244

matter what happens in your relationships or any other part of your

True

well-being

self's

throughout

all

unconditional:

is

unwavering

remains

It

changes in the conditions of your

life

and the

life.

range of

full

your personality's feelings.

You may be tempted

to say, "Well,

it's

okay to

my well-being because they are more important

for

on people

rely

I

love

than material objects.

Material things like money, cars, and houses have less spiritual value, but

people are really important. So surely relying on people for can't

my well-being

be an attachment."

dependency

Yet, a

dependency, and you cannot "upgrade" by

a

is

choosing a loftier one. Relying on a person, place, or event to replace the unconditional well-being

of

personality's disconnection

— or

true

self

to

compensate

for

from the unconditional well-being of true

— makes that reliance an attachment. The antidote to attachment

self

open to true

self

the

integrate

it

fill

your

on

grip

to

when you

into your

life, it

life,

more unconditional well-beingyoufeel.

life,

each of your attachments. to

is

and its well-being.

The more consciously you experience true selfinyour daily

Ironically,

your

strengthen your experience of true

you eventually will encounter a Initially, as

self

and

loss related to

you allow the well-being

of true self

radiates into your fears, loosening your personality's

attachments.

Sometimes

the

process

releasing

of

your

attachments will be easy, giving you a deep sense of relief.

Other times fear

and

grief

it

will be difficult

you had hoped

all

and

your

life

painful, stimulating the

kind of

to avoid. Sooner or later in your

return to true self each attachment will be challenged and relinquished.

Yet you will discover that even those losses, no matter

how much

your

personality feared them, do not disturb the deep, unwavering well-being in your true

self.

That

is

freedom.

Some people move through this process with outer dramas. They lose their

homes

in fires; they lose loved ones in accidents; they lose their jobs

during a recession. They

may do

few years, or they may do it

PLANETARY SURVIVAL

245

new loss

every

this sequentially, facing a

once, losing everything in one disaster.

all at

Other people go through the process of releasing their attachments internally,

without manifesting

much observable

outer loss. For example,

discord surfaces in their marriages, prompting a long, painful process of introspection.

They

learn to emotionally let go of their attachment to

relationship as their primary source of well-being while they increase the

well-being they receive from true their

self.

Because of that

problems without losing their marriages

attachment.

Or shake-ups

work

at

they work out

— they just transform the

them

force

shift,

on

to stop relying

jobs as their source of personal identity, but they do not end

up

their

actually

losing their jobs.

Attachments distract the personality from unwavering well-being,

away from our unlimited nature

diverting awareness

into limitation.

A

belief that our true well-being

depends on having money,

a great car, nice clothes, or

even good physical health reinforces the

a

home,

illusion that these limited things are the source of our existence

a mate,

and well-

being.

Understand that there

working

for them,

is

nothing wrong with wanting those things,

and enjoying them when

we

have them.

mistaking them for the source of our true well-being can't have well-being

without them

It is

our

— or believing we

— that makes them attachments.

Consider that your survival

may depend solely

on your alignment with unlimited spirit

The

vital life force of

unlimited spirit streaming through your body

and your energy system is the cause physical

being

life

alive.

and consciousness.

No

It

of your existence.

also carries the true joy

you forward in the world. of

what gives you and pleasure

of

material thing or other physical being can give you the

supreme happiness of conscious surrender

fulfillment

It is

your

If

to unlimited spirit as

it

carries

you are out of touch with true

attachments

will

be

compensation, not a satisfying replacement.

a

self,

weak and temporary

246

COMING HOME

There

no reason

to feel

bad about yourself

for

externals. That's just part of

your personality's

way

is

physical world. Yet

it

feeling separate

uneasy because

self,

are:

attempts to compensate for

or Source. This witnessing can

make you

brings your focus to the inner disconnection with

which you have been is

what they

for

from true it

of relating to the

can be helpful to witness your attachments and

them honestly

recognize

your attachment to

and that

living,

is

by nature uncomfortable.

Still, it

helpful to witness this disconnection compassionately, staying

yourself

and not turning away in

you may

feel.

You long joy that

to

disappointed in

from true

self

spite of the discomfort or disorientation

be whole. You long to

your true nature.

is

life

—

is

it

because that

If

with

you

know

the unconditional love and

feel separate

and

afraid

— even secretly

important to recognize your disconnection

is

essentially the cause of all your suffering.

All suffering is separation from Source.

look at what this means in terms of your fears about survival.

Let's

If

one or more of your primary survival fears were to manifest, you would probably

call it

a disaster or a catastrophe.

Losing your house and

belongings in a flood could be one such event, and perhaps you fear

because of the suffering you would cause suffering; losing your

feel.

Yet losing your

home does

home and not being aware

it

not

of unlimited

Source streaming through you causes the suffering. Getting a debilitating or terminal disease illness

is

a

common

fear.

Such an

can certainly create physical and emotional pain, exhaustion, and

ongoing

distress. Yet, as

uncomfortable as the

illness

may be,

it is

not the

cause of suffering; illness without conscious experience of unlimited

Source

the cause of suffering.

is

This

is

because pain

is

an intense sensation that is

not necessarily suffering. Pain is filtered

are not also

simply pain

through our consciousness, where

interpreted according to our reality.

when we

is

it

We interpret pain as suffering only

aware of the unwavering well-being that

undisturbed, within us at a level deeper than the pain sensations.

exists,

PLANETARY SURVIVAL

247

In fact, living in any conditions without noticing the vibrant flow of

Source and

unwavering well-being causes

its

abundance of money, friends,

and

a beautiful

Even though

endlessly.

home, excellent

all

health, loving family

and

all the other "right" things

You can have an

suffering.

still

your attachments are

suffer quietly

fulfilled, living

awareness of Source creates an inner disaster, and you are All people affect,

and

and and

without

still suffering.

are affected by, each other through their

participation in the collective consciousness. Because of this inherent

connection, groups of people will act out the various survival issues of the

whole planet to help bring growth and alignment times

different

and

people

places,

will

to everyone

display,

on

it.

So, at

through

their

the planet's collective suffering that comes from the

personalities,

personality's lack of awareness of Source

and

unwavering well-being.

its

This will often be done through their participation in disasters.

You may witness these

disasters because

you

live nearby,

you know

the people involved, or you see the disasters in the media. As a witness,

you are in a sacred position. You are watching the display of an issue that connects you to those people no matter

watching

how

a situation that unfolds in part for

for the contribution

When criticize or

If

your

suffer,

own growth,

you witness

seeing their suffering hurts you

judge them

—

it is

because they

You

are

as well as

your heart to yourself and to your

feelings.

their disconnection

— or even causes you to

reflect the

disconnection. This situation can be valuable

to the others

are.

you can make back to the whole by your response.

you see other people

from Source.

away they

far

if

you

Then

let

let

pain of your

own

compassion open

compassion join you

who share your suffering and are displaying it for you. 60

From Responding to can be a

a disaster

tall order.

Crisis to

Compassion

from compassion rather than from

fear or crisis

Facing our disconnection from Source can seem

overwhelmingly frightening. In

fact,

many people

feel so

threatened by

their inner disconnection that they stay completely unconscious of

it

and

COMING HOME

248

don't let themselves feel

it

or deal with

at

it

The

all.

result is that they

automatically react to disaster, theirs or others', with instant fear or blame.

For most people, denial of the pain of disconnection daily living

focused on attachments

is

specific situations

— external

from

suffering

this

unconscious that

it

is

It

can

them to reevaluate you to look

and

at

security.

people, or

and security that

a type of addiction.

disconnection can be pushed

so

far

into

The the

takes the impact of a disaster to break through.

Disaster often causes the loss of one or

attachments.

so strong that

things,

— in an attempt to find happiness

would otherwise come from Source. This

is

jar

more primary external

people out of their pattern of addiction and force

their lives.

For example, losing your home can force

how deeply you relied on your possessions for your identity You then have the opportunity

true identity, recognizing that the external

you but does not create Similarly, losing

to look within to find your

world

reflects that identity to

it.

your job or your

life

savings can force you to face

questions about where you believe your true source of support exists and

how

fully

you are able to trust

it

and

bring you to true self for support that

Any

rely

is

on

it.

This inner inquiry can

unconditional and cannot be

lost.

event involving loss can trigger underlying panic and pain that

comes from your personality's persistent attempts to maintain control a

world that

is,

in actuality,

beyond

To

its control.

"recover"

in

you may

need to surrender to an inner well-being that enriches your life regardless of external circumstances

and then

carefully re-create

your

life

based on

that surrender to inner well-being.

Losing loved ones, or even losing a relationship with them, can be the

most trying

disaster. All healing

compassion and patience combination of

Attachment

true,

self.

for yourself.

this loss

Most

must be done with

close relationships are a

open-hearted love and the personality's attachment.

—wanting

disconnection from true true

from

the self

outer

relationship

to

compensate

for

— can be faced and used as a springboard to

PLANETARY SURVIVAL

Some people who experience

disaster are able to use

for freeing themselves of the attachment that

as a catalyst

it

shaken loose. They

is

let

be forever changed by that break in addiction. Seeing with

their lives

new

249

make

focus, they learn to

choices that

come from deeper

Others return to the addiction as soon as the outer

profound change into your

life.

let

truth.

crisis is over.

Whether you directly experience disaster or witness you always have the opportunity to

a

it

elsewhere,

the situation touch you and bring

You can allow

the disaster to be a mirror,

reflecting your inner disaster of living in disconnection from Source. Feel

whatever emotions are present. Open to your

away from

From

it,

suffering

without turning

and open to the unwavering love and well-being of Source.

there you have the

power

to

make new

choices and to create

new

possibilities.

Witnessing the suffering of others can be traumatic, even when the event

witnessed only though the media. Because of their

is

difficulty

coping with the trauma, witnesses often try to find order in the situation

by making rationalizations or by passing judgment on the people who

are

the victims, or the cause, of the disaster. In an attempt to leap past their

discomfort at being separated from Source, witnesses situation

by saying such things

something to deserve (or create)

this."

out of balance that nature (or god) luck (or bad karma) has don't feel things the

made

way we

this

do."

as "Those people

is

"Their

way

may

react to the

must have done

of living has been so

teaching them a lesson." "Their bad

happen

to them." "Those people really

who

"The people

caused this disaster

are our enemies (or are evil)."

The

list

of possible

of distancing ourselves

judgments goes on endlessly and serves as from

suffering. This is

a

way

done automatically, and

usually unconsciously, to avoid having the suffering of others remind us of our

own

judgment

is

not helpful.

distressing separation or trigger our inner suffering. Passing a very It

human

thing to do, and

not "wrong"; but

prevents us from going deeper into

with Source can happen. (Note: No one Source [true

it is

self].

The disconnection

is

self

it

also is

where reconnection

ever really disconnected from

or separation discussed in this

COMING HOME

250

chapter

is

simply the personality's lack of conscious awareness of Source,

which feels If

like a disconnection.)

you notice yourself rationalizing, judging, or dismissing someone

you can do something to gently nudge yourself out of this

else's suffering,

automatic, limited reaction.

ATTUNEMENT Finding Compassion in a Crisis

for

1.

Take

2.

Recognize your judgment as a sign you need to have compassion

a

deep breath and give yourself a few quiet moments.

your deep, perhaps hidden 3.

suffering.

Let yourself experience the discomfort, to whatever degree

be there, of feeling out of connection with true distress of missing at certain

4.

true self

it

now. You may

self,

it

may

or Source. Feel the

also feel the pain of having

missed

it

times in the past.

Let yourself feel

how much you long for conscious experience of

— the unlimited love and

vitality of

Source

— streaming through

your being, bringing you joy and well-being. 5.

Gently take

takes you a 6.

little

five to ten

more breaths, imagining that each breath

deeper into your true

self.

From that deeper place, allow the unlimited love of true self,

which is the essence

of your being, to flow through you, bringing comfort

and connection.

9

PLANETARY SURVIVAL

251

61

Allowing Integration

Regardless of

how you

go through the process

attachments and no matter

self

inner emptiness you tried to

possibilities.

It

becomes an opening through which life.

new

fulfillment,

you may encounter some

unexpected feelings of grief. Even though you may have sense of self and

The

with attachments eventually becomes

vibrant well-being can enter your to live with

opens you to greater

fill

spacious rather than vacant.

feel a

your grip on

how difficult it may be, letting go and turning

your awareness toward true

As you begin

of loosening

a

more expansive

deeper love and joy, your personality

to grieve the loss of the attachments

it

had carried for so

may still need

long. This is part

new reality you are creating for yourself. So be when you come into a profound expansiveness of

of its adjustment to the

aware that

at

times

being, there can also be a sense of loss. This feeling

the joy and feel the

grief, too.

Accept the

full

is

quite natural. Feel

range of

who you

are in

those moments.

Understand that your transformation may take you back and forth

between seemingly opposite inner the expansiveness of your true

realities.

self:

yet also very present in the world.

For awhile you may

live in

genuinely less attached to externals

You may relate

to work, to people,

to material things from a place of deeper, unshakable love

Then, a few moments or days or weeks

later,

and

and well-being.

you may suddenly

feel

caught up in your old attachments again, as though you are not free of

them is

after

all.

This process of cycling through one awareness to the other

part of the integration of newly learned experience. At such times have

patience, stay present to return

you to true

with

yourself,

self.

9

and continue allowing your breath

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252

ATTUNEMENT Witnessing Your Attachments

When is

facing your attachments, your first act of compassion for yourself

to allow the attachments to

do not have to get over them.

be

there. Let the

It is

too

much

attachments be okay. You

to expect yourself to notice

attachments and get over them at the same time; your personality will resist

that kind of pressure.

You

can, however, notice your attachments

and give yourself permission to have them. That

is

compassionate

witnessing.

Notice your attachments as they surface, and jot them down. This

week you could probably make attached list,

to.

where

You may want

it

a list of ten or

to keep

it

on the

will be accessible. Give the

list

more things you

refrigerator, like a

are

shopping

two columns, and use

it

the

following way:

Each time you notice an attachment, write

1.

column. There's no need to put in

know what

it

is.

Just

much

it

down

in the first

description or explanation; you

name the attachment. For example, you might

write,

Today I was attached

to:

•

Money

•

My child

•

Getting my

•

Finding a relationship

•

Eating sweets

2.

After you identify each attachment, use the second column to

write

way

at work

what you were hoping

"feeling safe" or "security".

to get from

it.

For "my child" you

For "money" you

may put

may have hoped for "feeling

am a complete person". "Relationship" may have been meant to give you "validation that I am worthy of love and good things". Eating sweets like

I

may have been for "feeling comforted".

PLANETARY SURVIVAL

Allow yourself to

list

your attachments with acceptance. You are

ready to look at them, which

is

the

first

step in releasing them. There's no

need to be over your attachments by the end

of the

week. You just need to

explore them. Be honest and forthright with yourself. yourself an important

substitute for Source.

gift:

253

You

are giving

awareness of the things that have been your

COMING HOME

254

RINCON My second dog, Rincon, was down the hall in my bedroom, curled up and fast asleep on my bed. In the kitchen I was happily chopping vegetables for dinner while half-watching the news on my little counter top TV. Suddenly a chaotic chorus of screaming and shouting jolted looking up,

where

I

saw image

being swooshed across the

was destroying water;

some

of

their village.

after

TV

image of helpless and

flailing

screen by the merciless tidal

Most

of

them barely kept

them went under, with

little

me

into

people

wave

that

their heads above

likelihood of resurfacing off

camera. I

put

down my

knife

and stepped back,

as

new distance might magically lessen the tragedy, The day

before, along

with the

though the three or

impact on me.

its

rest of the world,

feet of

I

had been shocked

and saddened to learn of the devastating tsunami in the Indian Ocean. But tonight the real footage from inside the disaster was being televised. Clip after clip of it, mostly filmed by tourists lucky enough to be near safe

was being

perches on the top floors and roofs of the tallest buildings,

played nonstop.

Knowing about hearing and seeing

the tsunami and the lives lost

it

happen, feeling so close that

and yank those people out of the water and into another. Yesterday realizing

I

was one wanted

my

thing, but

to reach out

kitchen

— that was

had known what had happened; tonight

I

I

was

what had happened.

know when I started crying, it was so soft and quiet. I only noticed my tears when I heard the faint thud of Rincon jumping off my bed, and then the poof, poof, poof of his big paws padding his way up the I

don't

carpeted hall to the kitchen. There

he

knew what he was

front of me, his at mine.

More

doing. In three steps he

back to the

was

at the

doorway;

across the kitchen in

TV and his soft, brown eyes looking calmly up

gracefully than

dog, he stretched

was no moment's wait

I

would have expected from

up and planted

his front

paws on my

a

75-pound

shoulders.

He

broke eye contact only to reach his head forward and press a velvety cheek to mine,

first

against one side of

my

face,

and then against the

PLANETARY SURVIVAL

other. Then, as gently as

he had approached, he pushed

off

255

and retraced

his steps. Still

suffering

standing where Rincon had I

had witnessed on the other

the compassion

I

had just received

poof of Rincon's return bed, no doubt to curl

down

the

up once more.

in

left

me,

my

side of the

my

hall,

heart aching for the

world and comforted by

kitchen,

I

heard the poof, poof,

then his springy landing on the

Part XI

9

YOU ARE THE EARTH Living the

One Body

62 Inner and Outer Realities

Our

culture has traditionally maintained a strong division between inner

experience and outer

In this separation, the personality has

reality.

functioned under the assumption that our inner reality

is

only minimally

we have believed that outer reality acts example, we have taken for granted that

related to outer reality. Primarily,

we

on us and that

outer occurrences that

respond. For

— such as other people's words and

actions, or events

happen around us or that we witness through media

feelings

and

affect

— cause our

our thoughts.

We have experienced life this way through our personality. Yet, just beyond

our

relationship

To

see

between our inner

it, let's

Your

awareness

personality's

life

self

more

intimate,

reciprocal

and outer reality has been

flourishing.

a

take another look at manifestation. manifests from your total sense of

Your identity

self.

energetically emanates into the world, creating everything in your affecting your responses to itself

into

Essentially,

it.

life

and

This means that the inner you projects

the world and then interacts with

its

own

projection.

you have been meeting manifestations of yourself ever} day. 7

This dynamic of manifestation has been going on forever, yet the cultural viewpoint has affect

our outer

reality.

been that our inner experience does not Rather,

it

directly

has assumed that outer reality can only

be affected by our personal actions or by some other outer influence. The

bottom

been

line consistently has

a belief in

two

separate realities, rather

than a unified one. This separation of inner and outer

realities

has been valuable in

supporting humanity's exploration of limitation But culture's consciousness is ready to

separation, something

new

is

been keeping inner and outer

now

that the

go beyond the confines of life based on

happening. The barrier of belief that has

realities separate is dissolving.

Much of the distress you see in the world comes from people living as though everyone

and everything they

affect

is

not them

COMING HOME

260

People are willing to put believe life,

up with

depleted and that strip mining issue

may

them

is

one

way

deeply concern you, you do not

would feel, of the

kinds of destruction as long as they

may believe that the

For example, you

too.

all

not happening to them personally. This applies to your

it is

say,

same

own

earth's resources are being

it is

happening. Although this

feel it

with the immediacy you

your foot being scraped. Yet the two events are variations

thing,

and without the

belief in separation

as such. Similarly, to the degree

everything you do in your outer

life is

you are not

you would

feel

aware that

fully

something you do to yourself, you

contribute to the cultural belief in separation.

Again,

mass

now

belief in

that the culture's consciousness

separation

is

In a

shifting.

ready for change, the

is

sense,

the energetics of

consciousness responsible for maintaining the clear division between inner and outer realities

longer be maintained.

is

losing its integrity.

As the pattern transforms, the inner and outer

begin to blend in humanity's awareness.

realities realities,

once separate, have

now begun

Our awareness

It is as

is

though these two

back and forth with

to flicker

each other. This will continue until there merging, a unity.

The old pattern can no

no longer separation but a

will be changed.

thought existed externally will be recognized within

Whatever we once

And

us, too.

all

that

originates within us will be evident to us everywhere.

This

is

culture can

joyous news.

It

means that

no longer hold separation

individually

in place.

It

and

collectively the

can no longer deplete

the earth without people consciously feeling the sensation in their

bodies and emotions. You

you love the earth and the awakening.

You

are

It

may already be feeling some of this pain about what

feel

may be

it,

If

you are in

making an important connection. realities

continue to merge, there

be tremendous disorientation in people's place where this particularly

and

happening to

sensation.

uncomfortable, but rejoice in your sensitivity.

As the inner and outer

use of

is

own

shows up

money has been based on

outer. People have

is

is

bound

lives across the planet.

in economics. In

most

to

One

cultures,

the belief in separation between inner

thought of money as something separate from

who

YOU ARE THE EARTH

261

they are within rather than a manifested expression or reflection of their essence and their current consciousness. They have seen

something that exists completely outside them

money

as

the purpose of

for

manipulating their outer conditions.

To the degree

this is a culture's perspective, that culture's

shaken as the

field

separation

place

in

of consciousness that has held the inner/outer

Each

transforms.

unpredictable as the consciousness being.

None

likely

to

stabilized into the

The

it

the

until

cultural

economy becomes

culture's

reflects

of these economies (or the

stabilize

economy is

moves into

world economy consciousness

a

new way

of

whole)

is

as a it

has

reflects

new pattern of inner/outer unity.

personality judges such economic changes as good or bad.

makes these judgments automatically and

how comfortable or uncomfortable the

arbitrarily,

situation

is

change threatens the personality's attachments. turn that causes distress,

it is

judged as bad.

If

based entirely on

and on the

If it is

It

how much the

economy takes

a

a severe turn or an

uncomfortable turn that stays for a long time, the personality's feelings of

doom and

fears

about survival get highly activated and can seem very

convincing.

The

personality's

reactions

compassionate thing to do its

are

to also

is

to

be respected, yet the

open our awareness to true

unwavering well-being and perception of perfection.

offer that unlimitedness to

our personality while

it is

We

self-

self

and

can then

suffering in its

limitation.

63

The World Catches Up with You Allow yourself to observe the

shift in

your

life

as the separation

inner and outer realities weakens and dissolves.

seems to be getting more

difficult for

you to close

You may off

between

notice that

it

from the world and

Perhaps you are more easily affected by what you observe

the people in

it.

in the world.

At times you may feel

as

though

all

the pain and grief on the

planet are closing in on you, and you are helpless in the midst of

it.

It

COMING HOME

262

becomes harder

for

other people.

doesn't have anything to do with me." Instead, you start

thinking,

"I

It

your mind to keep

never noticed before

people. It has never

The truth

is

been

that

it

has

of humanity's existence,

separate from

it.

this

how bad

this

many

it?"

one way or another

for

much

you are more immersed in the world and more

The world

is

all

that

is

manifested.

becoming more personal

always been you externally

an internal, personal is

in

happening to

but you are no longer able to keep yourself so

vulnerable to directly experiencing

from what

bad

is

things really are for so

bad before, has

been

"That

Now that you can no longer hold the belief in separation

so strongly in place,

What has

telling you,

level. Increasingly,

is

you

to you.

becoming more feel like

you

at

you cannot get away

happening in the world. You might think

recent, rapid fire technological advances

real to

this is

because the

keep putting you face to face

with practically everything occurring across the globe. The internet, social networking,

and telephone technology,

for example, give

you

far

more images and information than you can process. Yet technology

is

the external world.

not the reason you cannot distance yourself from In fact,

technological advances that outwardly

connect us with the world are happening because our consciousness

opening to the merging of inner and outer

realities

and to our true

connectedness with everyone and everything. As this

shift

in

is

self

our

consciousness speeds up, breakthroughs in the technologies that mirror

our increasing awareness of connectedness will race forward even faster

and with farther reaching results than anything we can imagine now.

The is

real reason

because

all

of

it

you cannot distance yourself from the external world

springs

from within you

cannot make lasting change

in the

in

some way. This means that you

world by working exclusively to make

the change "out there". Because outer reality springs from your conscious

and unconscious experience

want

to live in a

world

of

self, it

forms

itself to reflect you. If

world greatly changed from what you

as a reflection of

now

see,

you

view the

what you carry within. Let the outer world take

YOU ARE THE EARTH

you back to

its

source of creation, your inner

self.

That

is

263

the place to

begin transformation.

Many

people try to hold the outer world out. They see what

"wrong" out there and try hard to faces turned fact,

fix

it.

But

all

the while they keep their

from themselves. The world cannot be fixed that way.

the world cannot be fixed at

into your heart,

In

Rather, as you let the world back

all.

back into your being,

is

it

will graciously transform.

64 Healing the

You may

World

already be working on this transformation in your

Opening to yourself issues of distress,

acknowiedged,

is

When

the key.

way.

you allow your deep, personal

and even emotional or physical abuse,

felt,

own

to surface

and be

and shared with understanding and supportive

people, you are healing yourself

and the world. You

are bringing to

awareness the distressing inner experiences you have been unconsciously

emanating into the world. Just as the energy of those inner

conflicts has

been repeating the experience of distress or abuse within your system this time,

it

all

has been contributing to the manifestation of distress and

abuse in the world. As you bring healing to yourself, you are offering healing to the world. It

may be uncomfortable

internally,

distress

to hear that issues

you have been carrying

and probably unconsciously, have been "contributing

and abuse in the world".

be aware that

this does not

also does not

mean you

If so,

mean

take a deep breath and

there

is

to the

yourself

anything wrong with you.

It

are necessarily responsible for anyone else's

suffering, violence, or misdirected action. It simply reality

let

you have been carrying has contributed

means that the inner to the cultural

planetary consciousness that has manifested those things.

You arc part of the creation of everything that exists in the world.

and

COMING HOME

264

important to recognize this great influence your inner reality has

It is

When

on the outer world. happens "out there"

is

you turn away from

insisting that

it,

what

caused "out there," you keep yourself disconnected

from your greatest power for creating change: yourself. Nothing can manifest in your outer reality that does not reflect

own

you compassionately

some part

your connection to what

reconnect with yourself at a level where you can

As

of you.

manifested, you

is

make meaningful change

both internally and externally.

look at an example.

Let's

personality fears the unlimited

its

life

We

have already discussed

how

your

own destruction because it does not recognize as real

and unwavering well-being that

Therefore, you are carrying fears

The energy patterns

and

of those fears

beliefs that

and

beliefs

exists in pure spirit.

you can be destroyed.

about your destruction

emanate into the world where they manifest "out there" in situations that

seem to occur independently of you. The destruction

is

possibility of the planet's

a manifestation of this personal issue

on

a

grand

scale.

There are innumerable actions you can take to try to prevent the

You can

planet's destruction.

well as your own.

looking at

You can

how their

made from these

change other people's behavior as

try to

try to

change people's

priorities

and ways

of

actions affect the world. Noticeable progress can be

efforts,

but unless the inner issue also changes, the outer

progress will routinely suffer significant setbacks. As long as the inner issue of your

own destruction is

active, the outer issue of destruction will

continue to be expressed in the world.

Facing this outer issue as a reflection of an inner issue gives you the

opportunity to make peace in the most powerful place yourself.

As you turn inward and your personality speaks

— showing you the emotions, distress — you can that have been causing

vulnerability

history

and

fear

beliefs,

its

witness

its reality. If

to

first:

within

you about

and personal

compassionately

you do not want to be limited to that

reality,

within

yourself and in the world, you can add the unlimitedness of true self to

To make that

is

that choice,

the essence of

all

remember the things and

all

its

love that you are

it.

and the love

beings. Imagine that you inhale

unwavering compassion, support, and healing. Gently open to the vibrant

YOU ARE THE EARTH

flow of life force that

unthreatened and undiminished by any thoughts,

As you do

feelings, or events. love,

is

this,

you bring unlimitedness (unlimited

compassion, support, healing, and

(the personality's fears

265

and beliefs

life

force) alongside hmitation

in its destruction).

Remember

that unlimitedness carries greater essential truth than

does limitation

— and when you carry both in your awareness, the former

will affect the

begins

teach

to

experience of

As the alignment you hold with unlimitedness

latter.

and repattern your

hmitation, your

personality's

become more expansive. The energy patterns your

self will

consciousness

emanates

into

expansiveness

and

be

will

world

the

your

will

contribution

reflect

to

the

that

new

collective

consciousness.

Through repeatedly bringing unhmitedness of

what

is

into your inner experience

manifested in the world, you will start relating more to your

spiritual indestructibihty

destruction.

And your

than to your personality's

fears of physical

thoughts, feelings, and actions will increasingly

spring from unlimited love and unwavering well-being.

The

collective consciousness manifests

world events and

situations.

Because you are part of the collective consciousness, your expanded

awareness will contribute to the creation of tangible global conditions that reflect unlimited love

and unwavering well-being. Others who

are

taking practical action to create these conditions will also be supported

by your energy.

With

this in

mind,

let's

review the main steps for using the power of

inner connection to deal with world issues that distress you.

9 ATTUNEMENT Responding to Distress

1.

World

Let any distressing issue in the world you take your awareness to

your inner version of that 2.

in the

issue.

Gently explore that inner issue as

it

relates to

your personal life—

COMING HOME

266

feel

the feelings, observe the beliefs, and share your heartfelt experience

with trusted support people.

As you accept the existence

3.

unlimitedness

few minutes

take a

You can

in, too.

let

of the

inner limitation, invite

your breath breathe you into true

self,

you

for prayer or meditation, or use another technique

prefer.

Imagine your

4.

being into your

life

new

focus on unlimitedness bringing love and well-

and expanding your perceptions of

yourself, others,

and the world.

From

5.

this alignment

with unlimited love and well-being, take the

outer action toward creating a healthier world that feels genuinely right to you.

Remember this inner alignment as you

take that action.

9 65 Sharing Consciousness with the Earth

It's

true

poetic;

what they

it is

say:

The earth

is

true at an essence level.

your mother. This image

The

is

not just

vibrational pattern of your

body

matches the vibrational pattern of the earth, which means that you and the earth share consciousness.

Not only do you take

The earth affects you, and you

in energy directly

takes in energy from you.

Whatever

energetically projected outward,

is

from the

affect

it.

but

it

earth,

also

going on in your body

and the earth

receives

it.

is

Because the

personality lives in your body, your issues about abuse and beliefs about

your destructibility are projected out to the earth, contributing to

its

and destruction.

vulnerability to these

same experiences

You cannot stop the

natural emanation of your energy patterns to the

earth any exhale.

It

more than you can keep

of abuse

air

from leaving your lungs

will not help to try to control the process

as

you

by thinking, "I'm not

going to project any negativity or destruction into the world." Such resistance to yourself will only create

more energy

of conflict

and

YOU ARE THE EARTH

struggle,

which

also will

emanate outward.

Instead, accept the connection you have with the earth

of yourself

and the earth

267

together.

and take

care

You can begin the process by becoming

conscious of your inner issues. Accept that the energy of those issues

connects you to the outer world in every moment. To whatever degree healthy and appropriate for you, gently face experiences you that, at

some point

still

may

discover forgotten instances of

abandonment, neglect, or abuse. Open your heart to yourself

and get support from others

of counselor

if

carry

in your past, might have seemed threatening to your

emotional or physical survival. You

explore,

is

— including

as you

a therapist or other type

you need to.

Don't give up on yourself. As you heal yourself you are healing the earth.

Because your healing and the earth's healing are one, whenever you

want greater healing for the

places within yourself that need healing.

Finding inner healing anguish you have avoided love

and compassionately go into the

earth, gently

may

of your

work is

there.

include accepting feelings of fear or

your

all

The heart

life. It

may

you never thought you deserved, or to

require learning to receive forgive

where you never

thought forgiveness was possible. As you surrender to your healing, you

come

to a depth of connection

that the greatest truth

is,

with

who you

truly are that reminds

you

and always has been, unwavering perfection

and well-being. You have the opportunity

7

to

embody

this truth as

you

open your heart in compassion to your personality's Hmitation and suffering

and open your mind to your deep memory of unlimited being.

From unlimited spirit's perspective, perfection

is all

and it

Our journey Home perfection.

is

is all

that has ever existed, that exists now.

our movement into

As we attune our inner hearing

move forward on

a

awareness of this

to the whispers of true

self,

we

path of profound exploration. By giving love to

ourselves and each other,

along the way.

full

we

generate the light that reveals each step

Part XII

9

MY STORY: EPILOGUE My Life Goes to the Dogs

MY STORY: EPILOGUE

271

66

Lessons of New Love Living from true self opens us to ever-deepening layers of unconditional

know we carry. No matter how many times it new discovery of love is a surprise, something

love our personality doesn't

has happened before, each

we

didn't

personality

see

coming and couldn't have

outer focused,

is

it

often attributes the cause of the

to a person or circumstance in our outer

wonderful that I'm in love

come

true.

life.

is

new love

"The person I'm dating

"My new

like never before."

The environment

Because our

predicted.

so supportive that

I

job

feel really

is

a

is

so

dream

good about

myself and other people."

People and circumstances can be catalysts for us to open more deeply to ourselves, but they are not the cause of love.

love as

it

emerges within us,

always been,

love

the

that

we

can recognize

we

are,

When we

it

as the

observe

same love

new

it

has

flowing through circuits of our

personality's awareness for the first time.

We have galaxies of worlds within us. Each time our personality opens the love that

we are in a new way,

one of those worlds opens to

In 2002, a

world opened kept I

new

— one

at a distance. It

know, dog

love emerged within I

had paid only

was

me

had been

make

and had always

I

How

could you have been

sense."

a cat person

cherished family members. In contrast,

dogs and preferred them

so powerfully that another

the world of dogs.

distant from dogs? That doesn't even I

us.

faint attention to

lovers are saying, "Whaa-at?

Since college

to

had

and considered felt little

cats

connection with

at a distance. Their behavior at close

jumping, drooling, and dirty

my

paws—was too much for me.

range— the

COMING HOME

272

Then one Saturday

afternoon, in a split second, that

changed.

all

I

fell

getting

my

passionately and irrevocably in love with dogs.

There wasn't even a dog in sight hair cut

when

overheard the

I

when it happened. I was

woman in

about her dog. She had gotten

him

puppy from

as a

that provided assistance dogs to people

puppy

had been her job

raiser, it

him back

then to give

the next chair telling her stylist

with

a local organization

As

disabilities.

and

him

a volunteer

for a year,

and

to the organization for his advanced training

and

possible placement as a

to raise

train

working dog for someone

with

living

a disability.

Her year with him was almost up. I

was

not paying attention to her

half-listening,

when

details,

a

my body and snapped me into now I loved dogs and that I was

lightning strike of energy surged through clear focus.

to

become The

I

knew,

I

absolutely knew, that

puppy raiser like her.

a

assistance dog organization

waiting for

Monday was worse than

was

closed for the weekend, and

the longest wait for Christmas

ever suffered as a child. Love for dogs filled

constantly.

I

wanted

without dogs

dog now.

— and that

beautiful to me,

Monday

my

I

my

couldn't believe

I

had

hadn't missed them! Suddenly

I

my

heart and

and

finally arrived,

I

Soon

applied.

I

all

my life.

For the next year

a service dog, she

became impeccable supermarkets, and

we

a day.

in

I

I

Because she was in training to

—

was permitted everywhere with me

all

when I had

situations.

to dash

She

— and her manners

stuck

back to the

stores,

my

by

side

an item

last aisle for

way

I

of other

had always heard people say that the marvelous thing about dogs

more powerful and healing

Whenever

in

returned.

that they love us unconditionally.

dogs.

who became

attended dog training classes

forgotten, she lay quietly next to our cart, out of the

shoppers, until

dogs were

was matched with my

movies, restaurants, art shows, public transportation

had

thoughts

and I longed to be close to them.

and were together almost 24 hours

become

had

lived so long

puppy, Chloe, a yellow Labrador and Golden Retriever mix the center of

I

I

looked

at

force

No one had is

ever told

me

is

that an even

the unconditional love we feel for our

Chloe, or even thought of her,

I

felt

the pure,

MY STORY: EPILOGUE

unconditional love of true

with me

all

day, that

was

273

through me. Because she was

self radiating

a lot of unconditional love!

67

Dog Training as Chloe loved training and, to

was

a natural at

it.

my great

For both of

built our relationship

a Spiritual Practice

surprise and delight,

us, training

and brought us

was

joy.

personality and true

Training dogs

is

self:

didn't think about

I

my

We teach dogs to behave

rooted in the conditional:

they're off leash at the

each other in play. Yet our

We

at the

the conditional and the unconditional.

leash, they are to greet people

love:

it

I

that

for integrating

to specifications that change according to conditions.

when

games

a series of fun

dog training became the perfect exercise

time, but

discovered

I

they're

on

and other dogs calmly and appropriately;

dog park, they can run around and jump on

relationship

love our dogs in

When

all

with dogs

is

based in unconditional

no matter how the conditions

situations,

change.

To do well with dogs, we must adapt our training to changing conditions while remaining in the unconditionally loving state.

Our tactics change; our love does not.

As

it

turns out, this

with our

self

behaviors

is

also the formula for success in our relationship

and our relationships with other people. Our emotions and

change

according

to

changing

unconditional love remains constant. This personality to apply.

The personality has

conditional emotion of love from true

is

conditions,

but

deeper,

a challenging formula for the

trouble discerning the changing,

self's

unconditional love.

Conditional emotions come and go in reaction to changes in conditions. For example,

when

people

personality feels love for them. Then, to us, that

is

a

we

when

love are

good

to us, our

those same people are

mean

change in conditions; and the love disappears as our pain

COMING HOME

274

That kind of love, pain, and anger

or anger arises.

conditional.

is

we don't consciously notice it, underneath those emotions the unwavering, unconditional love we are made of continues radiating to those people — and to our self. The more adept we become at noticing Yet even

if

that constant radiance of unconditional love, the stable

we become,

regardless of

what

direction the

more balanced and

winds

of

emotion are

blowing.

Dog

lovers

when our dog

know still

that a profound love

won't come

after

bonds us with our dog. But

we've called 10 times, chews an

expensive shoe, or toilets in the house again, our personality might

suddenly

angry instead of loving. The personality's

feel frustrated or

emotions are volatile as conditions change. Yet the more conscious

become

of the unconditional love that keeps flowing, undisturbed,

more relaxed and patient we

the surface of that volatility, the

we

below

naturally

remain with our dog.

True self's unconditional love is not an emotion, but a state of being.

It is quieter,

more subtle,

and more enduring than emotion.

With practice,

I

learned to remain tethered to

my unconditional love

my

emotions surfaced. To

no matter what Chloe was doing or which of be a good dog surprised

trainer,

I

me — let my

In other words,

I

had

had to stay present

also

conditional emotions

in the

become

moment and

—

this

even more conditional.

to learn not to hold onto emotions but to let

them

go the moment the conditions that had triggered them changed. For example, in the early days

it

was hard

guests came through the front door and she

jump on them. Sometimes her attention. But the little

butt on the

I

felt

moment

floor,

I

immediately disappear. The

to get Chloe to

wanted

exasperated because

sit

when

to dash over it

was hard

to get

me and placed her all my exasperation

she finally looked at

praised her and let

moment the

and

condition (Chloe not sitting)

MY STORY: EPILOGUE

my

changed,

conditional emotion (the exasperation that

went with

275

that

condition) had to change, too.

had not learned

If I

been

poor

a

voice,

trainer.

conditional emotions go,

Chloe would have heard me say Good

but because dogs respond to our emotions even more than

to our

felt

my

exasperation linger while she was

That mixed message— Good

and

Girl

I'm

still

—would have confused her and taken the fun out of

Then she would have felt even less motivated to

was

Good

would have happy

sitting for me.

It

I

Girl in a

words, she also would have

you

my

to let

tricky for

me

to learn that training

Girl but kept feeling, Well,

know

I

go through

and we go through

this,

for us to get good at

if it

this

sitting for me.

me the next time.

would not work

if I

said

good you're sitting now, but you sure took

was ever going to happen.

long enough and

didn't

that's

sit for

unhappy with

every day! Sheesh,

It's

how

so frustrating

long

is it

when we

going to take

this}

How many times have we all held onto conditional emotions after the conditions had changed? Long after someone gave us a genuine apology,

we

still

ran their offense through our minds, telling our

friends the story again time.

Or we

and

and our

again, feeling our original hurt or outrage each

short of our

fell

self

years later, continued to feel

own

expectations in a situation and, even

bad about it.

Conditional emotions are meant to come and go with changing conditions.

If

we do

not

with their naturally brief years later keeps

them go

let

lives.

them on an

as conditions change,

is

throws us

off

interfere

Replaying them hours, weeks, months, or

artificial,

mental

life

outrageously beyond their intended

period that

we

support system for a life

span. Doing that

balance and reduces our presence with whatever

is

genuinely occurring in the now.

So later

I

learned— initially because

because

I

realized

it

was

it

a life

got better results from

lesson— to drop

second the unsettling condition changed. That practice as

much as

I

is a

my

my

dog, but

discomfort the

lesson

I

continue to

can.

When we're learning to

open to true

self, it

can be a

relief to realize

that our personality's conditional emotions do not need to control us or interfere

with our well-being.

We can manage them in two simple ways:

COMING HOME

276

1.

While we're

remember that we have

feeling the emotion,

deeper, unconditional love radiating within us that

is

a

our tether

to equanimity. 2.

Let go of the uncomfortable emotion the that triggered

it

moment

the condition

changes.

68 Conditions Change Again

Too soon,

my

assistance

dog organization.

was up and

year with Chloe

I

had

was unprepared

I

to give her

for the loss.

back to the

Day

after day,

my house and car seemed unbearably empty. When I went to the grocery store, I felt like half of me was missing. And sadly, I didn't think I could ever love another dog.

For three weeks without

my

dogl

I

moped, hardly leaving

was my

feeling.

another dog, a one-year old

Golden

Retriever).

wonderful match.

named Rincon

Rincon showed

me

I

was

we

I

I

him

guy

up,

I

I

you'll ever

all

meet

Once

have imagined or predicted the

map

of

my

— and many I

knew,

—people and

Hot Diggity Dog! where Rincon and is

the sweetest business

me happy.

a

personality's limited awareness until

I

stepped into

Now it's a world where unconditional love radiates through me and joy every day.

I

new world to me that I never could or even known I had wanted! It had been off

opened

—

— and he

the dog training

have ever had, and every dog we work with makes again, true self has

a

My love of dogs kept growing,

teach dog training and dog dancing. Rincon I

offered

knew we were

I

another dog after Chloe

dogs doing fun dance steps together).

partner

was

got to keep him.

had mastered

started a side business called

anywhere

Labrador and

learned Canine Freestyle Dance (often called dog dancing

their

so

that

could love

other dogs, too! After he and

Why go

(also a yellow

of picking

just the nicest

loved training. The best part

house.

Then everything changed.

Within hours

He was

my

I

it.

feel

MY STORY: EPILOGUE

277

69

Smooth Not everything

wanted

in

my

has worked out, and some things

life

worked out have seemed to take forever, with

that have

starts along the

moment

I've

Sailing

I

Why

fell

way. Yet, with dogs

in love

endless stops and

has been smooth sailing from the

it

with them back in that hair

has the world of dogs opened to

salon.

me

so easily

and

richly?

Perhaps the answer takes us back to the unconditional love discussed the beginning of this chapter.

I

think that in 2002

my

in

was

personality

opening to a deeper layer of unconditional love within me, and the

moment salon.

match

of breakthrough

From

there,

it's

was

that Ughtning strike of love

easy to understand

how

to the vibration of unconditional love

and say that

I

fell

felt at

the

dogs would be a perfect

— and perfect partners

me to practice the lessons of love that came with it. As we know, the personality might be tempted to to an external source

I

in love

for

attribute that love

with dogs because

they are

so unconditionally loving and wonderful. Yet, as wonderful as dogs are, I

love dogs,

if

my love originates within me.

My true self coaching and classes are still my central focus, but

I

have

learned that there are always rich and rewarding adventures waiting for

us that painting,

we

cannot see

and dogs

yet.

For me, true

are proof of that.

self

channeling, sounding,

Each has taught me that there

is

no

we carry or to the ways it can emerge. No matter who or what is wonderful in our lives, our love always originates within us — because that love is what we are made of. It is our limit to the love

essence, our source, our true

waiting to open

self,

new worlds for us.

and

it is

always gently yet powerfully

CONTACT

Find out more about Martia's products,

classes, speaking,

and

private coaching.

Martia offers special programs for business owners high level business success and juicy, joyful

who want

lives.

Martia Nelson P.O.

Box 1932

Sebastopol,

CA

95473

[email protected]

www.MartiaNelson.com (Get

a free gift.)

Martia and Rincon's dog training:

Hot Diggity Dog!

www.DogDancer.com

(See the fun video clip.)

Martia's nonprofit art project to support people coping with cancer:

Arts for Healing

www.ArtsforHeaHng.com (See beautiful

art

work.)

280

COMING HOME

NOTES

Made 5001019R0

in the

USA

Charleston,

SC

16 April 2010

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