Victory Over the Darkness Study Guide [2020 Edition] 9780764236006, 9781441265654

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© 1994, 2000 by Neil T. Anderson (First Edition) © 2013 by Neil T. Anderson (Second Edition) Published by Bethany House Publishers 11400 Hampshire Avenue South Bloomington, Minnesota 55438 www.bethanyhouse.com Bethany House Publishers is a division of Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan www.bakerpublishinggroup.com Ebook edition created 2020 Previously published by Regal Books ISBN 978-0-7642-3600-6 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC. ISBN 978-1-4412-6565-4 Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. Scripture quotations labeled NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com Cover design by Rob Williams, InsideOutCreativeArts

CONTENTS Cover

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Half Title Page Title Page

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Copyright Page

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A Note from Neil Anderson 1. Who Are You?

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2. The Whole Gospel

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3. See Yourself for Who You Really Are 4. Something Old, Something New

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5. Becoming the Spiritual Person God Wants You to Be 6. The Power of Believing the Truth

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7. You Can’t Live Beyond What You Believe 8. God’s Guidelines for the Walk of Faith 9. Winning the Battle for Your Mind 10. You Must Be Real to Be Right 11. Healing Emotional Wounds 12. Loving One Another Back Cover

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A NOTE FROM NEIL ANDERSON Luke 5:1–11 illustrates how our Lord and Savior taught. Jesus was instructing the multitudes from Peter’s boat. “When He had finished speaking, He said to Simon, ‘Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch’” (v. 4). Jesus had stopped talking, but He had not stopped teaching. Peter heard what Jesus said, but he hadn’t fully learned until he got into the boat and put out the nets. This study guide gives you an opportunity to get into the boat and put out the nets. You can skim the surface, or you can venture into deep water. You can do it alone, but I recommend that you do it with other faithful learners. It provides an opportunity to hear another person’s perspective, and greater learning always takes place in the context of committed relationships. Developing trusting relationships and being devoted to one another in prayer are what make group study so enriching. It is my prayer that you will comprehend who you are in Christ and be equipped to live as a child of God. If this study guide helps make that possible, I will be forever grateful. May the grace and love of our heavenly Father bless you with all the riches of your inheritance in Christ. Neil T. Anderson

1 Who Are You? Jesus promised that “you will know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32). Our identity in Jesus Christ is a fundamental truth that we believers need to understand if we are to experience this promised freedom and to mature in Christ. “Who are you?” sounds like a simple question, but attempting to answer it soon reveals the complexity of the issue. We tend to identify ourselves and each other by what we look like, what we do, where we live, and what our social standing, political affiliation, or denominational preference is. But does that determine who we are, or does who we are determine what we do? That’s an important question, especially as it relates to our self-perception, and how we live. How you ever thought about who you are and formed an opinion about yourself? How has that self-perception affected how you live?

What influenced this perception of yourself?

Why can’t the sciences of psychology and biology unlock the mystery of the person?

People cannot consistently behave in a way that is inconsistent with what they believe about themselves. How important is it that we have God’s perspective for who we are?

FALSE ATTEMPTS AT SELF-VERIFICATION PAGES

22–24

I shared the story of an attractive young woman who, from the outside, seemed to have everything going for her: excellent grades, musical talent, a full-ride university scholarship, an attractive wardrobe, and a new car. Upon talking with her, I discerned that what was on the inside didn’t match the outside. I asked her, “Have you ever cried yourself to sleep at night because you felt inadequate and wished you were somebody else?” Through her tears, she asked, “How did you know?” How we appear affects the perception that others may have of us, but how does that affect our understanding of who we are? Why are so many concerned about what others think of them?

Have you ever felt inadequate and wished you were somebody else? Have you ever been tempted to project an image of who you are to

others that was different from how you perceive yourself? How did that make you feel? What is wrong with doing that?

Why do so many strive for acceptance and affirmation from others? How important is that to you?

There is certainly nothing wrong with appearing attractive, performing well, or having social status, but why don’t such attainments determine who you are and guarantee fulfillment in life?

Does everybody have the same opportunity to find purpose and meaning in life? Why or why not?

What is wrong with labeling people as losers, failures, derelicts, alcoholics, addicts, co-dependents, etc.?

In the introduction to the book, I mentioned that every defeated Christian I have worked with had one thing in common: None of them knew who they were in Christ, nor did they understand what it meant to be a child of God. Why do you think that is?

What labels have you been saddled with that still influence your perception of yourself, and do such labels affect how you live.

THE ORIGINAL CREATION PAGES

24–28

Genesis chapters 1 and 2 begin the creation story and elaborate on how God created Adam and Eve in His image and likeness. All other organic matter functions according to its God-given instinct, whereas Adam and Eve had the capacity to think, feel, and choose. After God breathed life into his nostrils, Adam was both physically and spiritually alive (see Genesis 1:26–27). Adam’s soul was in union with God, and that union assured him of the following attributes: 1. Significance—In the original creation, Adam and Eve were given a divine purpose—dominion over all the birds of the sky, beasts of the field, and fish of the sea. 2. Safety and security—In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve’s needs were fully met. 3. Belonging—They not only knew and belonged to God, but they also belonged to each other in a mutually beneficial and intimate relationship.

Try to imagine what Paradise was like, and contrast that to our present experience on earth.

What was totally unique in the universe about God breathing His life into Adam?

Explain the difference between being physically alive and spiritually alive, and what makes humanity totally different from all other created matter?

THE EFFECTS OF THE FALL PAGES

28–35

The effects of the fall were dramatic, immediate, and far-reaching. The result of Adam’s sin not only affected Adam and Eve, but also all their descendants.

Spiritual Death Since we are all born physically alive but spiritually dead, how would you describe the natural person? What is that person’s destiny?

Lost Knowledge of God The fall affected the way Adam and Eve (and you and I) think. The fact that Adam and Eve tried to hide from God (see Genesis 3:7–8) clearly indicates a faulty understanding of who God is. Why do we try to hide something from others when we know we have done something wrong, and what does that say about us?

Is it comforting or condemning to be made aware that God knows the thoughts and intentions of the heart and “there is no creature hidden from his sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do” (Hebrews 4:13)?

At the time of Christ, logos (word) was a philosophical concept. What are the ramifications of the Word becoming flesh, and why does the book of Proverbs personify wisdom and understanding? Also, why does Scripture refer to Jesus as the Truth and the Word? Why does the writer of Hebrews say “the word of God is living” (4:12), and which Word is he talking about—the Bible or Jesus, or both?

Dominant Negative Emotions

The fall had a profound effect on us emotionally. Anxiety disorders are the number one mental health problem in the world. How have fear, anxiety, and panic attacks affected you and your family?

What is the difference between guilt and shame, and which has bothered you the most? Why?

Depression has been called the “common cold” of mental illness. Why are so many depressed, and how can a relationship with God be the answer?

Rage is the dominant emotion displayed on the internet. Why are so many people angry?

In Genesis 4, God talks to an angry Cain about his feelings and says, “If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?” (Genesis 4:7 NIV). In other words, if you do what is right, you won’t feel so angry and depressed. When have you noticed that bad feelings follow wrong behavior and/or good feelings follow right behavior? Be specific.

Generally speaking, does the local church have adequate answers for the mental and emotional problems that plague the world? Why or why not?

Too Many Choices In the garden, everything that Adam and Eve wanted to do was fine except for eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil (see Genesis 2:16–17). Today we face a myriad of good and bad choices. Why is the capacity to choose the greatest power we possess, other than the powerful presence of God?

What do we need to do in order to make righteous choices?

Attributes Become Needs Another long-term effect of sin is that glowing attributes before the fall became glaring needs after the fall. Acceptance was replaced by rejection, so we feel the need to belong. “Therefore, accept one

another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God” (Romans 15:7). What happens to people if the church doesn’t provide adequate fellowship (koinonia)?

Why is peer pressure so powerful?

After the Fall Innocence was replaced by guilt and shame, so we need a legitimate sense of worth restored. How does the truth of the gospel enable us to overcome feelings of guilt and shame?

How can we enhance our sense of worth?

Dominion was replaced by weakness and helplessness, so we strive for strength and self-control. How does a fallen humanity attempt to overcome their weaknesses? Why is that ultimately futile?

The human soul was not designed to function as a master. Why is it so important to understand that Jesus is more than a Savior—that He is both Lord and Master?

Every temptation is an attempt by the devil to get us to live independently of God. Satan tempts us as he did Jesus by appealing to our most basic and legitimate needs. Think of ways that we are tempted to meet our needs. For example, we may be tempted to compromise who we are in order to gain the acceptance and approval of others.

As God’s child, you are accepted, secure, and significant. Read again the following out loud: I Am Accepted

  

John 1:12

I am God’s child.

John 15:15

I am Christ’s friend.

Romans 5:1

I have been justified.

1 Corinthians 6:17

I am united with the Lord, and I am one spirit with Him.

1 Corinthians 6:20

I have been bought with a price. I belong to God.

1 Corinthians 12:27

I am a member of Christ’s body.

Ephesians 1:1

I am a saint.

Ephesians 1:5

I have been adopted as God’s child.

Ephesians 2:18

I have direct access to God through the Holy Spirit.

Colossians 1:14

I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.

Colossians 2:10

I am complete in Christ.

I Am Secure

  

Romans 8:1–2

I am free from condemnation.

Romans 8:28

I am assured all things work together for good.

Romans 8:31–34

I am free from any condemning charges against me.

Romans 8:35–39

I cannot be separated from the love of God.

2 Corinthians 1:21–22

I have been established, anointed, and sealed by God.

Philippians 1:6

I am confident that the good work God has begun in me will be perfected.

Philippians 3:20

I am a citizen of heaven.

Colossians 3:3

I am hidden with Christ in God.

2 Timothy 1:7

I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.

Hebrews 4:16

I can find grace and mercy in time of need.

1 John 5:18

I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.

I Am Significant

  

Matthew 5:13–14

I am the salt and light of the earth.

John 15:1, 5

I am a branch of the true vine, a channel of His life.

John 15:16

I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.

Acts 1:8

I am a personal witness of Christ.

1 Corinthians 3:16

I am God’s temple.

2 Corinthians 5:17–21

I am a minister of reconciliation for God.

2 Corinthians 6:1

I am God’s co-worker (see 1 Corinthians 3:9).

Ephesians 2:6

I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realm.

Ephesians 2:10

I am God’s workmanship.

Ephesians 3:12

I may approach God with freedom and confidence.

Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Living What You Learn Guided by the truths of this chapter, ponder the question “Who are you?” For the next week, use the passages listed above to counter any negative thoughts you have about yourself.

A Word of Prayer Father God, I believe that I was spiritually dead in my trespasses and sins, and I believe that you sent Jesus to die for my sins and to give me life. By faith I choose to receive you into my life, and I declare my dependency upon you. I acknowledge you as my Lord and Savior. Please fill me with your Holy Spirit, and enable me to be the person you created me to be. Thank you for meeting all my needs according to your riches in glory. In the precious name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.

Looking Ahead As a believer, your true identity is not based on what you do or what you possess, but on who you are in Christ. “Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him

purifies himself, just as He is pure” (1 John 3:2–3). Remember, no person can consistently behave in a way that is inconsistent with what they believe about themselves. So the more we understand who we are, the more righteous we live. Christ’s triumph over sin and death, and what that means for us, are the themes of the next chapter.

2 The Whole Gospel Many Christians are not living free and productive lives because they don’t understand their identity and position in Christ. If they don’t see themselves the way God sees them, they probably haven’t fully comprehended the gospel, and likely haven’t experienced the dramatic change that occurred the moment they trusted in Jesus to be their Lord and Savior.

INTRODUCTION PAGES

39–41

How would you expect people to behave if they understood themselves to be little more than a skin-wrapped package of salivary glands, taste buds, and sex drives? What would their purpose for living be?

Olympic runner Eric Liddle withdrew from a race scheduled on Sunday—a race he might have won—in honor of his heavenly Father. When has your commitment to fulfill your calling as a child of God been at cross-purposes with what your flesh desired to do?

Christians are called to be salt and light in a dying and dark world, which is only possible because of the dramatic change that occurs in them the moment they trusted in Jesus.

The Example of Christ What did Jesus model for us, and how can we apply that to ourselves?

What is Satan trying to accomplish when tempting us? Explain.

If you know how to perform a task, you will likely have a job, but you will probably work for those who know why. So why are we here, i.e., what is our purpose as children of God?

The glory of God is a manifestation of His presence. We are called to glorify God in our bodies (1 Corinthians 6:20). How can we manifest the presence of God in this world?

Jesus Came to Give Us Life Both Jesus and Adam were originally spiritually alive. Adam died spiritually when he sinned. But Jesus, unlike Adam, remained spiritually alive because He never sinned. What was Satan trying to accomplish by tempting Jesus to meet His own needs by turning the rock into bread? How is that sinful?

How did Jesus resist temptation in Matthew 4:1–11? How can we?

What did Adam and Eve lose in the fall? What did Jesus come to give us? Explain.

THE WHOLE GOSPEL PAGES

42–44

Many Christians have processed only a third of the gospel. Consequently, they see themselves as forgiven sinners instead of redeemed saints. What three functions had to be accomplished by Jesus in order to make the gospel complete?

Why is most of the world waiting to hear that Satan is disarmed?

Write a simple statement how you would present the whole gospel, including all of the points mentioned in this section.

WHAT A DIFFERENCE CHRIST MAKES! PAGE

44

The difference between the first Adam and the last Adam spells the difference between life and death for us. In 1 Corinthians 15:22, Paul writes, “As in Adam all die, so also in Christ all shall be made alive.” What does the phrase “in Christ” mean to you personally in your daily life?

New life in Christ begins when you trust Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and that new life means a new identity and a new way to live. How does (or how would) seeing yourself as a much-loved child of God enable you to better live the Christian life?

Satan can do nothing to change your position and identity in Christ, but if he can deceive you into believing that you are not acceptable to God and that you’ll never amount to anything as a Christian, then you will live according to those debilitating thoughts rather than in the freedom and wholeness available to you in Christ. What thoughts have you had about yourself that may be deceptions generated by Satan?

God calls you a saint, and that glorious truth should overshadow the deceptions about yourself that Satan would have you believe. What truths about your identity in Christ can you use to counter Satan’s deceptions about who you are? (If you’re not sure, keep working through this lesson!)

Why did Paul refer to himself as the chief of all sinners?

We may not always feel like a saint, but we don’t need to in order to live like one. The Christian way is to make the choice to believe the truth, live by faith according to what God says is true, and then it becomes true in our experience. We don’t make it true by our

experience or by our feelings. What can you do today to live like a saint, a person loved and called by God, rather than like a defeated sinner with no sense of worth?

What you do doesn’t determine who you are. Rather, who you are— a child of God—determines what you do if you believe the truth that God loves you, forgave you, adopted you, made you a new creation in Christ, and calls you His own.

WHAT IS TRUE OF CHRIST IS TRUE OF YOU PAGE

51

In what ways are you identified with Christ?

Read aloud the following:

Who Am I? I am the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13). I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14). I am a child of God (John 1:12). I am part of the true vine, a channel of Christ’s life (John 15:1–5). I am Christ’s friend (John 15:15). I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit (John 15:16). I am a slave of righteousness (Romans 6:18). I am enslaved to God (Romans 6:22).

I am a child of God; God is spiritually my Father (Romans 8:14– 15; Galatians 3:26; 4:6). I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing in His inheritance with Him (Romans 8:17). I am a temple—a dwelling place—of God. His Spirit and His life dwell in me (1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19). I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with Him (1 Corinthians 6:17). I am a member of Christ’s body (1 Corinthians 12:27; Ephesians 5:30). I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18–19). I am a child of God and one in Christ (Galatians 3:26–28). I am an heir of God since I am a child of God (Galatians 4:6–7). I am a saint (1 Corinthians 1:2; Ephesians 1:1; Philippians 1:1; Colossians 1:2). I am God’s workmanship—His handiwork—born anew in Christ to do His work (Ephesians 2:10). I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God’s family (Ephesians 2:19). I am a prisoner of Christ (Ephesians 3:1; 4:1). I am righteous and holy (Ephesians 4:24). I am a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now (Ephesians 2:6; Philippians 3:20). I am hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3). I am an expression of the life of Christ because He is my life (Colossians 3:4). I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 1:4). I am a son of light and not of darkness (1 Thessalonians 5:5). I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling (Hebrews 3:1). I am a partaker of Christ; I share in His life (Hebrews 3:14). I am one of God’s living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house (1 Peter 2:5). I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession (1 Peter 2:9–10).

I am an alien and stranger to this world in which I temporarily live (1 Peter 2:11). I am an enemy of the devil (1 Peter 5:8). I am a child of God, and I will resemble Christ when He returns (1 John 3:1–2). I am born of God, and the evil one—the devil—cannot touch me (1 John 5:18). I am not the great “I am” (Exodus 3:14; John 8:24–28, 58), but by the grace of God, I am what I am (1 Corinthians 15:10). Which statements above are especially meaningful to you right now?

Why doesn’t every believer know who they are in Christ?

How would believing who we are in Christ make a difference in the way we live?

One of the greatest ways to help yourself grow in Christ is to continually remind yourself of who you are. The more you reaffirm who you are in Christ, the more your behavior will begin to reflect your true identity.

THE BRIGHT HOPE OF BEING A CHILD OF GOD

PAGES

55–56

If you’re beginning to think you are someone special as a Christian, you’re right! You are special not because of anything you’ve done, but because God loved you so much that He willingly sacrificed His only Son in order to forgive you and raise you up to be His child. Read again the words of 1 John 3:1–3 and hear the wonder in the apostle’s voice. What hope for the future do you find in 1 John 3:1–3?

Living What You Learn For one month read out loud every day the “Who Am I?” list.

A Word of Prayer Dear heavenly Father, What a privilege to address you as my heavenly Father! I marvel that you call me your child, and I thank you that the Holy Spirit is bearing witness with my spirit that I am your child. Help me to believe who I am in Christ in order to glorify you in my body. Enable me to stay focused on the path set before me as your child. Please fill me with your Holy Spirit that I may boldly stand for you, unafraid of being different from the people, the culture, the society around me. I declare my dependency upon you. In the wonderful name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.

Looking Ahead

If you take nothing else away from this lesson, take this truth: You cannot consistently live in a manner that is inconsistent with how you perceive yourself. You must believe you are a child of God in order to live like a child of God. The next lesson will amplify that truth.

3 See Yourself for Who You Really Are Every born-again believer is a child of God. Consider how that fact can affect your life now.

INTRODUCTION PAGES

57–59

Reconsider the stories of Claire and Derek. As a college student, Claire simply believed what she perceived herself to be—a child of God—and so was committed to being transformed into His image and to loving people and growing in Christ. How did you react to the description of Claire when you first read it in Victory Over the Darkness? What aspect of Claire’s journey revealed an important truth to you?

How did Derek’s relationship with his earthly father set him up to wrongly relate to his heavenly Father? In what ways can you relate to his experience?

What is the difference between being called and being driven?

BEING BEFORE DOING PAGES

60–61

The experiences of Claire and Derek illustrate the importance of establishing our Christian lives on right beliefs about God and ourselves. Finding our identity in temporal activities is a fragile existence since everything we now have we shall lose. Temporal labels are counterfeit identities. Only God has the right to define who we are. How does knowing that affect your perception of yourself?

Why do you think Paul first started with the indicative (something we should know) before he wrote about the imperative (something we should do)?

How can you hope to “stand firm against the schemes of the devil” (Ephesians 6:11) if you have not internalized the truth that you are already victoriously “raised . . . up with Him, and seated . . . with Him in the heavenly places, in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:6)? How can you rejoice in hope and persevere in tribulation (see Romans 12:12)

without the confidence of knowing that you have been justified by faith and have peace with God through the Lord Jesus Christ (see Romans 5:1)?

Does Scripture prepare us to be competent for every good work, or does it do more than that, and if so, why?

We prove to be disciples of Christ when we bear fruit. How do we do or not do that?

What conclusions should we draw from the fact that salvation and sanctification occur in Scripture in all three tenses (past, present, and future)?

Why is the correct belief about God, ourselves, and our relationship with God the foundation for living a righteous life?

Why did I tell the music director and his wife to forget about their marriage?

If you wanted to help a couple who are having trouble in their marriage, where would you start and why?

Given that we hear far more non-affirming statements about ourselves, why is it so important to continuously remind ourselves who we really are?

Read out loud the following:

Since I am alive in Christ, by the grace of God . . . I have been justified—completely forgiven and made righteous (Romans 5:1). I died with Christ and died to the power of sin’s rule over my life (Romans 6:1–6). I am free forever from condemnation (Romans 8:1). I have been placed into Christ by God’s doing (1 Corinthians 1:30). I have received the Spirit of God into my life that I might know the things freely given to me by God (1 Corinthians 2:12). I have been given the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16).

I have been bought with a price; I am not my own; I belong to God (1 Corinthians 6:19–20). I have been established, anointed, and sealed by God in Christ, and I have been given the Holy Spirit as a pledge guaranteeing my inheritance to come (2 Corinthians 1:21–22; Ephesians 1:13–14). Since I have died, I no longer live for myself, but for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:14–15). I have been made righteous (2 Corinthians 5:21). I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I am now living is Christ’s life (Galatians 2:20). I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3). I was chosen in Christ before the foundation of the world to be holy and am without blame before Him (Ephesians 1:4). I was predestined—determined by God—to be adopted as God’s child (Ephesians 1:5). I have been redeemed and forgiven, and I am a recipient of His lavish grace (Ephesians 1:7–8). I have been made alive together with Christ (Ephesians 2:5). I have been raised up and seated with Christ in heaven (Ephesians 2:6). I have direct access to God through the Spirit (Ephesians 2:18). I may approach God with boldness, freedom, and confidence (Ephesians 3:12). I have been rescued from the domain of Satan’s rule and transferred to the kingdom of Christ (Colossians 1:13). I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. The debt against me has been canceled (Colossians 1:14; 2:14). Christ himself is in me (Colossians 1:27). I am firmly rooted in Christ and am now being built in Him (Colossians 2:7). I have been made complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10). I have been spiritually circumcised (Colossians 2:11). I have been buried, raised, and made alive with Christ (Colossians 2:12–13).

I died with Christ, and I have been raised up with Christ. My life is now hidden with Christ in God. Christ is now my life (Colossians 3:1–4). I have been given a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7). I have been saved and set apart according to God’s doing (2 Timothy 1:9; Titus 3:5). Because I am sanctified and am one with the Sanctifier, He is not ashamed to call me brother (Hebrews 2:11). I have the right to come boldly before the throne of God to find mercy and grace in time of need (Hebrews 4:16). I have been given exceedingly great and precious promises by God, by which I am a partaker of God’s divine nature (2 Peter 1:4). Which of the above verses has special meaning for you at this time? Why?

We don’t serve God to gain His acceptance; we are accepted, so we serve God. We don’t follow Him in order to be loved; we are loved, so we follow Him. What impact does knowing that have for doing good works?

RELATIONSHIP VERSUS HARMONY PAGES

66–68

Perhaps this emphasis on God’s complete acceptance of you in Christ has raised the question, “What happens to this relationship when I sin?” The grace-filled answer is that your relationship with God is based on the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. You are a bornagain child of God in spiritual union with Him by His grace, which you received through faith. Your relationship with God was settled when you were born into His family. Just as you will always be related to your biological father and mother, you will always be related to your spiritual Father. Just as you lived in harmony with your father when you trusted and obeyed him, you will live in harmony with your heavenly Father when you trust and obey Him. What would our life in Christ be like if we lost our relationship with Him every time we sinned?

Do you ever worry that you have severed your relationship with your heavenly Father when your life isn’t perfect? If so, what reassurance did you find, even when you sin, that you hadn’t forfeited your status as His child? If you are worried right now, review the truths of John 10:27–28, Romans 8:35–39, and 1 Peter 1:18–19.

Does our hope lie in our ability to cling to God, or does it lie in the fact that He will never leave us nor forsake us?

If you have lost your peace with God, how can you get it back (see 1 John 1:9–2:2)?

BELIEVING THE TRUTH ABOUT OTHERS PAGES

68–69

As important as it is that you believe in your true identity as a child of God, it is equally important that you perceive other Christians as children of God and treat them accordingly. Why do children hear so many more non-affirming statements than affirming statements? How did that affect you when you were a child? How should that affect us as parents?

What would our homes and churches be like if everyone never spoke an unwholesome word? Why is that so hard to do?

Who in your life has been a vessel of God’s grace with his or her words of edification and encouragement? Thank God for that person, and perhaps thank him or her in a note or with a phone call!

RELATING TO GOD

PAGES

70–72

Many Christians live their lives as though they were walking on glass. They are afraid to make mistakes because if they do, the hammer of God will fall on them. Dear Christian, the hammer has already fallen. It fell on Christ. He died once for all our sin (see Romans 6:10). Do you dread facing God, or do you run to your heavenly Father? What makes the difference?

In what ways do you relate or not relate to the letter sent to me from the missionary?

Living What You Learn How can accepting yourself for who you really are change how you live this week?

How can seeing other believers for who they really are affect how you relate to them?

A Word of Prayer Dear heavenly Father, I thank you that my ability to serve you is not what gains your acceptance, that my ability to follow you is not what determines whether I am loved. Thank you for your acceptance that frees me to serve you, and for your love that frees me to follow you. I thank you for your promise to never leave or forsake me. I choose to believe that you unconditionally love and accept me. Enable me to trust and obey you so that our relationship may be harmonious. Help me see your people through your eyes, and help me control my tongue so that I speak only words that build up others, and not words that hurt and tear down others. I pray in Jesus’ name and for His sake. Amen.

Looking Ahead The Bible teaches that you are a child of God. Nevertheless, you are still less than perfect in character. You are a saint who sins, and that is the great Christian dilemma that the next chapter addresses.

4 Something Old, Something New Being a saint who is alive and free in Christ does not mean that we are mature or sinless, but it does provide hope for future growth. Despite God’s provision for us in Christ, we are still far less than perfect. We are saints who sin. Our position in Christ is settled when we are born-again, but we still sin, which disrupts the harmony of our relationships with God.

INTRODUCTION PAGES

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In what ways do you identify with the seminary student who had a moral failure in his first pastorate?

What tapes laid down in early childhood hinder you from believing who you are “in Christ”?

THE NATURE OF THE PROBLEM PAGES

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Fallen humanity lives “in the flesh,” and “those who are in the flesh cannot please God” (Romans 8:8). Since early childhood, we have learned to live independently of God. This learned independence is a chief characteristic of the flesh. The flesh is self-reliant rather than God-dependent; it is self-centered rather than Christ-centered. How does Paul characterize fallen humanity who are not yet believers?

Significant changes occurred the moment we received Christ. First, God transferred us from the domain of darkness to the kingdom of His beloved Son (see Colossians 1:13). Second, sin’s dominion through the flesh has been broken (see Romans 8:9). How does that change who we are and how we live?

Christians are no longer “in the flesh,” but since the characteristics of the flesh remain in believers, they have a choice. They can walk according to the flesh (see Galatians 5:19–21) or they can walk according to the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22–23). How can you know which one you are doing at a moment’s notice?

WE HAVE BEEN GRAFTED IN PAGES

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Concerning your nature, “You were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord” (Ephesians 5:8). Are we both light and darkness? Paul also wrote, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Are we partly new creatures and partly old creatures? Explain your answer.

Why is it significant that you weren’t merely in the dark but were darkness, and that you haven’t simply moved into the light but are light?

What conclusion do you draw from the ornamental orange and navel orange illustration?

In order to grow and bear fruit, Christians must be centered in Christ. This firm rooting is positional sanctification, and growing and bearing fruit is progressive sanctification. Why do we have to first be firmly rooted in order to grow?

A NEW HEART AND A NEW SPIRIT PAGES

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Ezekiel prophesied, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (36:26). How does this change the way we can live?

Explain Paul’s testimony in Galatians 2:20.

“You are already clean” (John 15:3), and you will continue to be sanctified as He prunes you so that you may grow and bear fruit.

A NEW MAN PAGES

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F. F. Bruce wrote, “The new man who is created is the new personality that each believer becomes when he is reborn as a member of the new creation whose source of life is Christ.” If you are a new creation in Christ, why do you still have similar thoughts and feelings that you did before you came to Christ?

How does the illustration of living under an abusive “old man,” but now living under a new and good “old man,” apply to you?

How can you change your old ways of thinking about yourself and the spiritual authority you now live under?

As a child of God, you are no longer under the authority of Satan and dominated by sin and death. The old man is dead, and new things have come.

NEW THINGS HAVE COME PAGES

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How has the presence of God within you affected your morality and sense of right and wrong?

“Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27) is what enables us to be like Christ, not just act like Him. Christianity is not an act, it is a life. God knows that we can’t solve the problem of our old sinful self by simply improving our behavior (acting like Jesus). He needed to change who we are and fill us with His Holy Spirit. How does this relate to living under the Old Covenant of law as opposed to living under the New Covenant of grace?

Only after God makes you a partaker of His nature are you able to change your behavior. What changes in your life have you seen since becoming a Christian?

The conviction that comes when we sin is another indicator of Christ’s presence within us. Sinning is not consistent with who we really are in Christ. We have a new master who is our heavenly Father. We also have a new nature that is now oriented toward God rather than toward self and sin. Sinning is not consistent with who we really are in Christ. Describe a time when you felt this conviction.

Jesus said, “Unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:20). Explain what that means to you.

Only after God changes who you are and makes you a partaker of His divine nature will you be able to change your behavior.

A NEW MASTER PAGES

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We are dead to sin and alive in Christ. Being dead to sin means that our relationship with sin has changed. Sin is still present, appealing, and powerful, and natural death is still imminent, but neither has any power over us if we believe the truth. Whatever God says is true will remain true whether we believe it or not. Why do many believers identify with the cross but not always the resurrection, and how does Paul address this?

How can we overcome the law of sin and death?

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death” (Romans 8:1–2). The law of sin and death is still operative, but you can overcome it by a greater law— the law of life in Christ Jesus!

SAVED AND SANCTIFIED BY FAITH PAGES

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Regeneration changes sinners to saints, and it happens the moment we are born-again. From that time on, we work out our salvation, but not for our salvation.

“For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3). Why is it important to know that the verb is past tense, i.e., it has already happened?

Can you relate to the pastor who saw the truth but didn’t know how to appropriate it?

How are new believers like a lump of coal?

BALANCING THE INDICATIVE AND THE IMPERATIVE PAGE

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The indicative is what God has already done and what is already true about us, and the imperative is what remains to be done as we respond to God by faith and obedience in the power of His Holy Spirit. In your Christian experience, how much emphasis has been placed on what you should do as opposed to who you are?

How can you deepen who you are in order to live better?

IN SUMMARY PAGES

85–88

How would you summarize what you have learned from this chapter?

The gospel is our spiritual Emancipation Proclamation. Why do you think some still live as though they are slaves when they are free in Christ?

The seed that was sown in us by God is only a beginning. Being a child of God and being free in Christ are the birthrights of every believer.

Living What You Learn What truth in this chapter was most life-changing for you as you began to understand it? How will your walk with Christ be changed

as a result of this truth?

What is one area in which you have felt conviction as a result of the truths you have learned? What will you do now to make the changes needed to bring your behavior in line with God’s truth?

A Word of Prayer Dear heavenly Father, Thank you for your love and grace that made me alive and free in Christ. I choose to believe that I am a new creation in Christ. Thank you for giving me a new heart, and that your Spirit dwells within me. Enable me to live from the inside out. You are the captain of my soul, and I gladly bow to your authority as my Lord and Savior. Enable me to live by faith according to what you say is true. I choose to accept myself for who you created me to be. I believe that I am no longer in slavery to sin, but set free to be all that you created me to be. I love you and worship you as the Creator and Lord of all. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

Looking Ahead Sanctification is God’s will for our lives (1 Thessalonians 4:3). We can become the person God created us to be as we are led and filled by His Holy Spirit, which is the subject of the next chapter.

5 Becoming the Spiritual Person God Wants You to Be The story of Ann Sullivan and Helen Keller is a moving account of the power of God’s love at work in and through His people. What does it take to be such a vessel of your heavenly Father’s grace?

INTRODUCTION PAGES

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To move beyond our inconsequential, selfish, and fleshly pursuits, we need to become children of God, crucify the flesh, and be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Why can this happen only by the grace of God?

Why is walking by the Spirit not a formulaic process?

THREE TYPES OF PEOPLE PAGES

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There are natural people in this world who have no knowledge of God, and there are Christians who exhibit the life of Christ, and Christians who don’t. Paul makes a distinction between natural people, spiritual Christians, and fleshly Christians.

Natural People Natural people are spiritually dead, i.e., separated from God, and therefore live independently of Him. Consequently, the natural person sins as a matter of course. How else would you define the person depicted in Figure 5-A? Compare your answer with Ephesians 2:1–3.

The Spiritual Christian The spiritual Christian is alive and free in Christ. They are forgiven, accepted, affirmed, and complete in Christ. The description of the spiritual person in Figure 5-B reflects the ideal. Think of a person who most closely resembles that. Are you most impressed with what they know, or with who they are? What impresses you the most about that person?

How does possessing the presence and peace of God positively affect your physical and mental health?

The Carnal Christian Instead of being directed by the Spirit, carnal Christians choose to follow the impulses of the flesh. Review the description of the fleshly driven person in Figure 5-C. What is the difference between natural people and carnal Christians?

Which of the following have you struggled with the most: inferiority, insecurity, inadequacy, guilt, worry, or doubt?

How can those six struggles be overcome in Christ?

Memorize the following passages this week: Inferiority—Ephesians 2:6 Insecurity—Hebrews 13:5 Inadequacy—Philippians 4:13 Guilt—Romans 8:1 Worry—Philippians 4:6 Doubt—James 1:5

Most believers live somewhere between the mountaintop of spiritual maturity and the depths of carnality. Renewing our minds and walking by the Spirit are the keys to achieving spiritual maturity. Ignorance, lack of repentance, lack of faith in God, and unresolved conflicts keep people from growing. However, the world and the flesh are not the only enemies of our sanctification. Satan roars around like a hungry lion accusing, tempting, and deceiving God’s children. “The whole world lies in the power of the evil one” (1 John 5:19). Do you think the church is ignorant of Satan’s schemes? How aware are you?

Satan “deceives the whole world” (Revelation 12:9), but the truth will set us free.

PARAMETERS OF THE SPIRIT-FILLED WALK PAGES

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The mature and immature alike must walk by the Spirit in order to bear fruit. Galatians 5:16–18 helps us understand what the Spiritfilled walk is, and what it is not.

What the Spirit-Filled Walk Is Not Why are the Spirit and flesh in opposition to one another?

Define what license means.

Explain why freedom is not related just to the choices that we make, but to the consequences of those choices as well.

Why is the law powerless over morality?

Look up Romans 7:5–8. How does the law actually stimulate the desire to do what it intended to prohibit? Can you give some examples?

What did you learn from the narrow-mountain-road illustration?

God’s commandments are protective, not restrictive. Under the grace of God, the Ten Commandments become ten promises. Holy Spirit–empowered believers will not covet, will not steal, etc.

What the Spirit-Filled Walk Is

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty” (2 Corinthians 3:17). As a believer, you are free to choose to walk according to the Spirit or according to the flesh. Walking according to the Spirit does not mean sitting around waiting for God to do it all, nor does it mean running around in endless activities, trying to do everything ourselves. We have the responsibility to water and plant, but God causes the increase. How does this relate to finding the balance between expecting God to do it all and trying to do it all by ourselves? How would you explain this cooperative relationship with God in order to do good works?

What conclusions from the illustrations of the oxen and Buster did you draw about yourself and your relationship with God?

The only description Jesus ever gave of himself was in Matthew 11:29, saying, “I am gentle and humble in heart.” If we are weary and heavy-laden, it may be because we are trying to pull the load by ourselves. Jesus wants to give us rest, show us the way, and carry the load with us.

Being Led by the Spirit Jesus is the Good Shepherd (see John 10:14). He leads us beside quiet waters, restores our souls, and guides us in the paths of righteousness (see Psalm 23:1–3). Why do sheep need a shepherd?

What can we learn from the shepherds of Israel, and how does that relate to John 10:37 and Romans 8:14?

God won’t make you walk in the Spirit, and the devil can’t make you walk in the flesh, although he’ll certainly tempt you to do so, and often he will provoke you through others.

The Proof Is in the Fruit How can you know if you’re walking according to the Spirit or according to the flesh, and what should you do if you become aware that you are living according to the flesh?

Why can’t we blame others for the deeds of our flesh?

We must learn to have enough self-awareness to know when we are living according to the flesh, and assume responsibility for our own attitudes and actions. We need to walk in the light and learn to confess (i.e., consciously agree with God concerning our sins). When a deed of the flesh becomes evident, mentally acknowledge that to God and ask Him to fill you with His Holy Spirit.

After reading the fictitious story of Nancy, what can you do to help yourself get unstuck?

God has given us the power to choose. God will enable the process of becoming like Him, but we must choose to be filled with His Holy Spirit and assume responsibility for our own attitudes and actions.

Living What You Learn When you discern that you are walking by the flesh, silently acknowledge it to God in confession, and then ask Him to fill you with His Holy Spirit. If the deeds of your flesh affected others, acknowledge that to them, apologize, and seek their forgiveness if necessary.

A Word of Prayer Dear heavenly Father, Thank you for sending your Son as my Savior, Lord, and Shepherd. Please guide me beside quiet waters and lead me in the paths of righteousness. As I consider all you have given me and my attempts to live a life that honors you, I have become aware of how far I fall short. Show me where I have slipped into licentiousness and cheapened your grace, and where I have been legalistic. Thank you for your forgiveness when I stumble and stray. Please fill me with your Holy Spirit so that I don’t carry

out the desires of the flesh. In the precious name of Jesus, I pray. Amen

Looking Ahead Spiritual Christians walk by the Spirit, but they also walk by faith according to what God says is true. The next chapter explains what it means to walk by faith, and the power of believing the truth.

6 The Power of Believing the Truth Wilma Rudolph was born with a major handicap that left her crippled, which she overcame through faith and perseverance. Can faith do the same for you?

INTRODUCTION PAGES

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Do exceptional people believe, or do those who believe become exceptional?

What does it mean when people say, “He/she is a person of faith”? Would that describe you? Why or why not?

THE ESSENCE OF FAITH

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Faith is the operating principle of the world. Everybody lives by faith. What is the difference between the words faith, believe, and trust?

How important is it that we understand principles of faith?

Faith Depends on Its Object First, faith depends on its object. The critical issue is what or whom you believe in. What and who are some of the objects and people that believers and nonbelievers alike put their faith in during the course of a regular day? Start your list with the example of traffic lights and the drivers mentioned in the text.

Which of the faith objects you listed above are you totally dependent upon? What happens if they become unreliable?

What does it mean to you that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8)?

The fact that Jesus Christ never changes makes Him eminently trustworthy and eternally faithful. Faith that is dependent upon God, who is eternal, has no limits as to what you can accomplish.

Faith Depends on Your Knowledge of the Object Second, how much faith you have is dependent on how well you know the object of your faith. When we struggle with our faith in God, it’s not because our faith object has failed or is insufficient. It’s because we don’t have a complete understanding of God and His ways. What is the only thing we can boast in, and why is that the case?

In what way is belief a choice?

The only way to increase your faith is to increase your knowledge of God. What happens if we attempt to step out in faith beyond what we know to be true?

The only limit to your faith is your knowledge and understanding of God, which grows every time you read your Bible, memorize a Scripture verse, participate in a Bible study, or meditate on God’s Word.

Faith Is an Action Word Third, faith is an action word. Faith without action isn’t faith. If we really believe God and His Word, we will do what He says. What we believe determines what we do. If what we profess to believe doesn’t affect our walk or our talk, then we really don’t believe. What did James mean when he said, “I will show you may faith by my works”?

What does the statement “People don’t always live according to what they profess, but they actually do live according to what they believe” mean to you?

DISTORTIONS OF FAITH PAGES

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Why can’t we just say to any mountain, “Move from here to there,” and it will be moved?

What is wrong with saying, “If you believe hard enough, it will become true”?

Explain the difference between positive thinking and truth-believing. How does the idea of truth-believing call you to greater faith?

Which of the Twenty Cans of Success is most encouraging to you. Why?

Believing that you can live a victorious Christian life takes no more effort than believing you cannot. So why not believe that you can walk by faith and in the power of the Holy Spirit? Let the Twenty Cans of Success expand your knowledge of almighty God, the object of your faith, and thereby give your faith the opportunity to grow.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I STUMBLE IN MY WALK OF FAITH? PAGES

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Do you worry that God may be ready to give up on you because you stumble and fall instead of walking confidently in Him? Hear the following two wonderful truths:

God Loves You Just the Way You Are The primary truth you need to know about God in order for your faith to remain strong is that His love and acceptance are unconditional. Who in your life was among the first to give you a taste of God’s unconditional love? Thank God for that person.

Do you feel God loves you when your walk of faith is strong but probably loves you less (if at all) when you’re weak and inconsistent? If so, why do you think you have those feelings? If not, why do you think you are able to rest in God’s unconditional love?

Who in your life right now needs a taste of God’s unconditional love and acceptance? What will you do to show him or her that kind of love?

Know that your loving heavenly Father can and does understand your weakness, forgives your sins, and will never stop doing so.

God Loves You No Matter What You Do Of course God wants His people to do good works, but He has made a provision for our failure through His Son, Jesus Christ, so that His love is constant in spite of what we do (see 1 John 2:1–2). Thanks to the powerful advocate you have in Jesus Christ, God will still love

you, because the love of God is not dependent upon its object. It is dependent on His character. Who has more authority, your advocate or your adversary? Which are you more inclined to believe? Why?

Have you ever failed to confess a fault because you were afraid of losing love and respect? Have you ever done the same with God? What are the consequences of doing that?

Jesus Christ has cancelled the debt of your sins—past, present, and future. No matter what you do or how you fail, and despite the lies Satan would have you believe, God will still love you.

Living What You Learn As Paul teaches in Romans 10:17, “Faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.” The only way to increase your faith is to increase your knowledge of God. What will you do to increase your knowledge of God? Set some goals—long-range and shortrange—regarding church attendance, reading the Bible, attending a Bible study, meditating on God’s Word, and memorizing passages from Scripture. Read through the Twenty Cans of Success several times until the verses become familiar to you.

A Word of Prayer

Dear heavenly Father, I praise you for being my loving heavenly Father whom I can fully trust! It’s exciting to think that the only limit to my faith is my knowledge and understanding of you, and it’s also very convicting. I confess my laziness for not making time to study the Bible and getting to know you better, and for not being willing to spend time reading your Word—for it is your Word, God, that will teach me more about who you are. I praise you for being eminently trustworthy and eternally faithful and for extending to me your unconditional and eternal love and acceptance. What a privilege and joy to be your beloved child! Enable me to share the love you give to me with others so that they, too, may come to know you better. I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Looking Ahead We can’t grow beyond what we know to be true. How can we know that what we are presently believing is the truth? Is there a way that we evaluate what we are presently believing? That is what we are going to consider in the next chapter.

7 You Can’t Live Beyond What You Believe A basic truth about your spiritual life—and an underlying premise of this book—is that your Christian walk is the direct result of what you believe.

INTRODUCTION PAGES

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Karl’s tee shot that was 15 degrees off didn’t get him in much trouble when he could only hit the ball 70 yards. But a 300-yard drive that is 15 degrees off could result in being out of bounds, just like faulty faith could have serious consequences later in life. What are the potential long-term consequences of poor eating habits, lack of exercise, and irresponsible living?

Even in a civilized culture heavily influenced by Christianity, many will face the need to make adjustments in their faith, often around midlife. When the culture becomes increasingly more godless, however, young people could find themselves out of bounds before they finish high school. Can you think of examples where that is happening now?

How does faith play into short-term goals like living from weekend to weekend, as opposed to long-term goals with eternity in mind?

If you haven’t done so already, complete the eight statements in the Faith Appraisal. Is it possible that every believer could rate themselves all 5’s if they had the right beliefs about God and themselves and lived accordingly? Why or why not?

How many of your sentence completions require the cooperation of other people and favorable circumstances in order for you to score a 5?

If you do not have the same definitions for success, significance, fulfillment, satisfaction, happiness, fun, security, and peace that God does, your walk of faith will be faulty.

FEELINGS ARE GOD’S RED FLAGS OF WARNING PAGES

127–128

God has created us with a feedback system so that we can know on a moment-by-moment basis if our beliefs are properly aligned with His truth. Emotional signposts alert us when a goal is based on a wrong belief.

Anger Signals a Blocked Goal Anger is often about control or the lack of it. How is a faulty goal the basis for road rage?

Why are manipulators and controllers so insecure?

Can you think of some examples of people trying to manipulate circumstances or control others in order to accomplish their goal?

Outbursts of anger should prompt us to reexamine what we believe.

Anxiety Signals an Uncertain Goal People are anxious because they don’t know what will happen in the future. How can we cast our anxiety upon Christ or adjust what we believe so that we don’t have to worry about tomorrow?

Depression Signals an Impossible Goal When there is no physical cause for it, depression can be a signal that your goal, no matter how spiritual or noble, may never be reached. What was right or wrong about what the wife was doing in trying to evangelize her husband?

Sometimes depression reveals a faulty concept of God (see King David’s words in Psalm 13:1–2). What did David do, and what could you do when you feel as though God has forgotten you?

Depression may signal that you are clinging to a goal you have little or no chance of achieving, and that’s not a healthy goal.

Wrong Responses to Those Who Frustrate Goals Life in the natural world is like living in a jungle where only the fittest survive. People yell, shoot, threaten, accuse, and sue their opponents who stand in the way of accomplishing their goals. Share some examples of people going to extreme measures of control and manipulation in order to get their way.

How have you seen church or family members react to those who threaten their goals?

We may have the ability to control others through threats and intimidation, but do we have the right to do that? Why or why not?

If anybody had the right and ability to control others and manipulate circumstances for their own personal gain, it would have been Jesus, but He never did.

HOW CAN I TURN BAD GOALS INTO GOOD GOALS? PAGES

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If God wants something done, can it be done? In other words, if God has a goal for your life, can it be blocked? Is its fulfillment uncertain or impossible?

What did you learn from Mary’s response to the angel?

Just as you wouldn’t give your child a task he or she couldn’t accomplish, God doesn’t assign you goals you can’t achieve. His goals for you are possible, certain, and achievable. You need to understand what His goal is for your life, and then say with Mary, “Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38).

Goals Versus Desires In order to live a successful life, you need to distinguish a godly goal from a godly desire. A godly goal reflects God’s purposes for your life and doesn’t depend on people or circumstances beyond your ability or right to control. The only person who can block a godly goal or render it uncertain or impossible is you. What do you have the right and the ability to control?

A godly desire depends on the cooperation of other people, the success of events, and/or the existence of favorable circumstances that you have no right or ability to control. What happens if you base your success or sense of worth on your desires being fulfilled?

What desires does God have that may not be fulfilled, and how do you think it affects Him when they’re not?

Being disappointed with unmet desires is a lot easier than struggling with the anger, anxiety, and depression caused by unreached goals that are based on wrong beliefs.

THE GOAL IS TO BECOME THE PERSON GOD CALLED YOU TO BE PAGES

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Having the same goal for your life that God does will go a long way in overcoming anger, anxiety, and depression. Becoming the spouse, parent, pastor, or person God has called you to be is God’s goal for your life. Nobody and nothing can keep you from accomplishing that but yourself. How can trials and tribulations reveal the wrong goals, but make possible God’s goal for your life (see Romans 5:3–5; James 1:2–4)?

In what ways could we be tempted to pursue a false hope when marriages, ministries, and jobs seem hopeless?

How can we offer hope to others, and find hope ourselves when life isn’t going our way?

All the spiritual giants before us have endured trials and persevered through hard times. Those who have looked for an easy way out will have their faith tested again and again until they surrender to the “author and perfecter of faith” (Hebrews 11:2).

Living What You Learn Review the important distinctions between godly desires and godly goals. Listen to your self-talk this week while driving in congested traffic or when your plans are being thwarted. Remember, your emotions are a product of your thoughts. Beware of times when you are tempted to control others in order to get your way instead of finding self-control. Decide every day that you are not going to let Satan or others determine who you are or keep you from being the person God created you to be.

A Word of Prayer Dear heavenly Father, I humble myself before you, and confess that I have tried to control others in order to accomplish my own selfish goals. I have been angry, anxious, and depressed because I have failed to understand your purpose and plan for my life. I want to be that person you have created me to be. Please fill me with your Holy Spirit and guide me into all truth. I commit myself to the renewing of my mind that I may prove that your will “is good, acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2). I ask this in the wonderful name of Jesus. Amen.

Looking Ahead God desires that we be successful, secure, fulfilled, satisfied, etc., but we need to understand those values from His perspective, which

is the subject of the next chapter.

8 God’s Guidelines for the Walk of Faith God wants the best for His children. We become benefactors of His good intentions by renewing our minds to the truth of God’s Word.

INTRODUCTION PAGES

137–139

Neil’s goal to have a breakfast of eggs, sausage, and muffins with his family was blocked. Think of some times when your goals have been blocked. Give two or three examples.

Our sense of worth is often tied up with reaching the goals we set for ourselves. Life can be a roller-coaster ride if our goals are not consistent with Scripture. The only way to get off the roller coaster is to walk by faith according to the truth of God’s Word.

PROPER GUIDELINES LEAD TO A PROPER WALK

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How do your beliefs about success, significance, fulfillment, satisfaction, happiness, fun, security, and peace compare with what the Bible teaches? These lessons from God’s Word may help you make some vital adjustments to your walk of faith.

Success. Key Concept: Goals You can be successful in the eyes of God and appear to be a failure in the eyes of the world, and vice versa. Real success is measured by whether or not we have the right goals and the degree to which we accomplish them. A summary of God’s goals for His children is found in 2 Peter 1:3– 10. The foundation for success has already been accomplished by God. He has given you everything pertaining to “life and godliness” by making you a “partaker of His divine nature.” What is the progressive order to the ultimate goal of love?

What is your definition of prosperity?

Joshua’s goal was to go into the Promised Land, but Jericho was in his path. Would he be more successful defeating Jericho his way or God’s way? How does the tension between our way versus God’s way and our goals versus God’s goals affect the way we live and the final outcome of our lives?

State the three principles of success. Why is the order important?

Significance. Key Concept: Time What is forgotten in time is of little significance. What is remembered for eternity is of great significance. Concerts, sporting events, and movies may provide some entertainment, but how significant are they twenty years later, and why do we not see the significance of faithful Christian service?

How can your ministry to those around you have eternal consequences?

We only have one life, and it will soon be past. Only what has been done for Christ will last.

Fulfillment. Key Concept: Role Preference Fulfillment comes when you discover your unique roles in life, use your gifts and talents to edify others, and glorify the Lord. What motivates people to find fulfillment in the world and overlook their

roles that nobody else can fulfill, such as being a parent, special friend, neighbor, etc.?

How important is it to accept yourself for who you are and not try to become somebody else, try to exercise gifts and talents that you really don’t possess, or seek a role that you are not uniquely qualified for?

You will be fulfilled by being a good ambassador for Christ in your home, neighborhood, work, school, and community. Everyone around you needs your love and acceptance, as you need theirs.

Satisfaction. Key Concept: Quality Satisfaction comes from living righteously and seeking to improve the quality of relationships, service, and products. What makes people feel dissatisfied?

When have you experienced the satisfaction that comes from doing a few things well rather than doing many things hastily?

Are you satisfied with the relationships you have with your friends and family? How could they be improved?

People are satisfied with a job well done in the company of loving relationships.

Happiness. Key Concept: Wanting What You Have The world says that happiness is having what we want, but it is more true to say, “Happy is the person who wants what he or she has” (see Matthew 6:31–33). Many children aren’t happy unless they have what they want. How can we train our children and ourselves to be grateful for what we have?

How is the joy of the Lord your strength?

If you really want to be happy, learn to be thankful and content with what you already have in Christ.

Fun. Key Concept: Uninhibited Spontaneity

What unscriptural inhibitors are keeping you from having fun?

When was the last time you really had fun with family or friends? What made it fun?

David was having a lot more fun pleasing the Lord than in trying to please people. People-pleasing and maintaining a false decorum may be prohibiting you from enjoying the presence of God.

Security. Key Concept: Relating to the Eternal Insecurity is depending upon people and temporal things that we have no right or ability to control. Think of times when you felt insecure. What were you depending upon, and how can that be overcome by depending upon God?

Read Hebrews 6:16–19. What are the two unchangeable things, and how are they an anchor for your soul?

Security can only be found in the eternal life we have in Christ.

Peace. Key Concept: Establishing Internal Order The peace of God is internal, not external. Peace on earth is something we want but may not always have. Peace with God is something we already have (see Romans 5:1). The peace of God is what we need. Read Colossians 3:15–17. How can you let the peace of God rule in your heart?

Why is peace on earth a good desire but not a good goal?

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).

Living What You Learn After reading this chapter you might say, “Well, I guess I can see that, but I still believe . . .” Anyone saying that will still believe as they always have. Always! Repentance is a change of mind. Until we let go of old beliefs and choose to believe God, we haven’t repented. Write below what you are resolved to repent from and what you are now professing to be true.

A Word of Prayer Dear heavenly Father, Thank you for giving me everything pertaining to life and godliness, and making me a partaker of your divine nature. I trust in your divine enablement to attain moral excellence, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and love. I choose to believe that is your goal for my life. I choose to make it my first priority to know you, then to be the person you created me to be, and to use my time, talent, and treasures to edify others and glorify you. I choose to find significance in the things that last for eternity, and to find fulfillment by being a good ambassador where you have called me. I will seek satisfaction by having quality relationships and doing all things well. I will count my blessings and work to have an attitude of gratitude. Thank you for the security I have when I anchor my soul in you, and for your peace that guards my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

Looking Ahead Mental strongholds have been raised up against the knowledge of God in your mind, and Satan peppers you with His lies. In the next chapter we will explain the battle for your mind, and how you can tear down those strongholds and win the battle for your mind.

9 Winning the Battle for Your Mind People are being “destroyed for lack of knowledge” (Hosea 4:6). We can’t be free if we don’t know the truth. Our minds have been programmed to live independently of God, but we can be transformed by the renewing of our minds. The world, the flesh, and the devil are opposed to that, but we have divinely powerful weapons to win the battle for our minds.

INTRODUCTION PAGES

153–154

In what ways do you identify with the opening testimony in this chapter? What are the consequences of being ignorant of Satan’s schemes?

The Western worldview is based in rationalism and naturalism. How is that different from a biblical worldview?

Jesus said, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel” (Mark 1:15). Repent literally means a change of mind.

STRONGHOLDS PAGES

154–162

Faith in God is the Christian way to live, but humanistic philosophical reasoning is the way of the world, and they are often in conflict. God is a rational God and has instructed us to think as to have sound judgment, but we don’t have all the necessary data to make a fully informed decision if all we see is the natural world.

Environmental Stimulation How are strongholds developed?

Temptation What must we do to choose God’s way of escape when tempted, and what will happen if we don’t?

Consideration and Choice You can live God’s way by faith (Plan A), or you can live according to the flesh (Plan B). How can you stay committed to Plan A, and what

happens if you start considering Plan B?

When you vacillate between God’s Plan A and your Plan B, your spiritual growth will be stunted and your daily experience as a Christian will be marked by instability. What are the three sources that feed Plan B?

Cognitive behavioral therapy is based on the fact that our emotions are a product of our thoughts. People are doing what they are doing and feeling what they are feeling because of what they are thinking and believing. Therefore, what is one thing that believers can do to overcome anger, anxiety, and depression, and how can they continue living that way?

If what we think does not reflect truth, then what we feel does not reflect reality. What needs to be changed when we don’t feel like new creations in Christ or don’t feel that God loves us, and how can we help others when their emotions don’t reflect reality?

There are many Christians who don’t feel saved, who don’t feel that God loves them, because of old thoughts raised up against the knowledge of God. When we tear down those strongholds and take every thought captive in obedience to Christ (see 2 Corinthians 10:5), our emotions will begin to conform to the reality of God’s love.

Action, Habit, and Stronghold When you pause to consider a temptation and then choose Plan B, you will act on that choice and own the behavior. You are responsible for your own behavior because it was your choice. If you continue an action for six weeks, it becomes a habit and a stronghold. Strongholds are neural pathways in the brain. They are memory traces learned over time or by the intensity of traumatic experiences. When we make a choice not to go down those old pathways, we are actually changing the chemistry of the brain. What kinds of strongholds could one develop living with an alcoholic parent?

How does one develop an inferiority complex? How has this been a struggle for you or some people you know?

How are racism, sexism, and elitism strongholds, and how can they be torn down?

In the past, you consciously or subconsciously formed patterns of thinking and behaving that have a negative impact on the way you live. You don’t have to remain a victim of these strongholds for the rest of your life. You can renew your mind.

RENEWING THE MIND PAGES

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If you have been trained wrong, you can be retrained. If you have believed lies, you can renounce them and choose the truth. Through the preaching of God’s Word, Bible study, and personal discipleship, you can stop being conformed to this world and be transformed by the renewing of your mind. There is also the present struggle for the mind that Paul addresses in 2 Corinthians 10:5: “We are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” What did you learn from the passages in 2 Corinthians mentioned in the chapter that use the word noema?

What happens if you are paying attention to a deceiving spirit and don’t know it?

How can you tell whether a thought is from you or Satan?

How could the “voices” that people hear—including condemning and blasphemous thoughts—be a chemical imbalance?

If you knew Satan had a certain idea planted in your mind, you’d reject that thought, wouldn’t you? Disguising his thoughts as your idea is Satan’s primary deception. If Satan deceived you into believing a lie, you forfeit some control in your life.

EXPOSE THE LIE AND YOU WIN THE BATTLE PAGES

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Satan is a defeated foe; therefore, his power is limited, but he still has the power to deceive the whole world (see Revelation 12:9). Satan has no power over you except what you yield to his lies. Since Satan’s primary weapon is deception, your defense against him is the truth. When you expose Satan’s lie with God’s truth, his power is broken.

Winning the Battle for Our Minds To be transformed by the renewing of your mind you must “let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts” (Colossians 3:15) and “let the word of Christ richly dwell within you” (Colossians 3:16). What lessons can you draw from the coffeepot illustration?

Why is it so important that you prepare your mind for action (see 1 Peter 1:13)?

How are we supposed to use our minds, and in what way should we examine ourselves or not?

Why is it so important to take every thought captive in obedience to Christ, and assume responsibility for our own thoughts?

“Be anxious for nothing” (Philippians 4:6) means don’t be doubleminded about anything. How can turning to God in prayer resolve that and bring you peace?

Why is it not enough to just turn to God, i.e., what must you do and why isn’t it enough to just think the right thoughts?

Living What You Learn Since we are living in a fallen world, we are going to experience a battle for our minds. To win that battle, we must be like little children when it comes to evil, but in our thinking we must be mature. What can you do to strengthen your commitment to Plan A thinking? How can you learn to discipline your mind? What do you need to stop doing in order to clear your mind of evil thoughts?

A Word of Prayer Dear heavenly Father, I come before your presence with thanksgiving. Your Word is like a refreshing wind blowing away the chaff and clearing my mind. Thank you for your divinely powerful weapons that destroy strongholds and thoughts raised up against you. Thank you for your truth that exposes Satan’s deceptions. I submit myself to you, and I resist all the temptations, accusations, and deceptions of the enemy. Search me, God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way. Enable me to choose the truth and live the truth. I want to know the truth and experience the freedom you purchased for me. I pray in the wonderful name of Jesus. Amen.

Looking Ahead Emotions are an important part of our humanity. Learning how to be emotionally honest with God and each other is the subject of the next chapter.

10 You Must Be Real to Be Right The Bible reveals a battle between good and evil, between truth and lies, between the kingdom of light and the kingdom of darkness, between good angels and bad angels, between Christ and the Antichrist. Believers are on the side of victory when they believe the truth, live by faith, and walk in the light.

INTRODUCTION PAGES

169–171

Review Judy’s story. What was wrong with her efforts at being a good witness, and what should she have done in response to her father’s affair?

Paul instructs us to “be angry and yet do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26) and then warns us not to give the devil an opportunity (v. 27). Peter tells us to cast our anxiety on Christ and then warns us about the devil prowling around seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:7–8). What conclusions should we make from those instructions?

Why is it so hard to be emotionally honest?

EMOTIONS REVEAL OUR BELIEFS PAGES

171–174

Feelings of anger, anxiety, and depression are all related to how we think and what we believe. We manage anger by managing our thoughts. Anxiety is double-minded thinking. Depressed people believe they are helpless and hopeless. In Lamentations chapter 3, Jeremiah shared how he went from despair to hope. What conclusions should we draw from his example?

Why is a Christian never helpless or hopeless?

You are not shaped as much by your environment as you are by your perception of your environment. Likewise, life’s events don’t determine who you are, nor dictate how you should respond.

Why is it wrong to tell someone, “You shouldn’t feel that way”? What should we say to someone when their feelings don’t seem to match reality?

What did you learn from the story about the real estate loan? What did this illustration teach you about the connection between events, thoughts, and emotions?

If what you believe does not reflect truth, then what you feel does not reflect reality. We can’t change feelings, but we can manage our thoughts and change what we believe. The order of Scripture is to know the truth, believe it, live accordingly by faith, and let your emotions be the result of trusting in God. Is it hypocritical to not live according to how you feel, or is it hypocritical to not live according to what you profess to believe?

Why must we acknowledge our feelings but not allow them to be the basis for what we believe?

“If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them” (John 13:17). In other words, you don’t feel your way into good behavior— you behave your way into good feelings.

DON’T IGNORE THE WARNING SIGNS OF YOUR EMOTIONS PAGES

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Your emotions are to your soul what your physical feelings are to your body. If you didn’t feel the gamut of emotions from anger to joy, sorrow to delight, your soul would be in trouble. Why do some live in denial about how they feel? What are they afraid of?

Would it be a good thing if we never felt anger, anxiety, depression, etc.? Why or why not?

Just as you have learned to respond to the warnings of physical pain, you need to learn to respond to emotional warnings as well.

Suppression Suppression is a conscious denial of how we feel. How have you been taught to deal with your emotions, and how was that modeled in your home growing up?

What are the consequences of suppressing your emotions?

There is verbal and nonverbal communication, and when they don’t match, which do you believe, and why is it so important to speak the truth in love?

Indiscriminate Expression Why is it wrong to indiscriminately share how you feel?

What should we do or say to someone who always wears their emotions on their sleeve?

If you wish to be angry and not sin, then be angry the way Christ was: Be angry at sin. Turn over the tables; don’t attack the moneychangers (see Matthew 21:12–13).

Acknowledgment

If you go to God in prayer feeling angry, depressed, or frustrated and then mouth a bunch of pious platitudes as if God doesn’t know how you feel, do you think He is pleased? Not unless He’s changed His opinion about hypocrisy since the times of the Pharisees! Have you ever prayed the way David did in Psalm 109? Should you pray that way? Why or why not?

Emotional honesty starts with God. Is there a person with whom you can be emotionally honest? If not, how can you find or develop such a relationship?

EMOTIONAL HONESTY PAGES

179–181

How should we respond to others when they are in pain? Why are words sometimes inadequate or inappropriate?

How can we comfort those in distress?

What did Job mean when he said, “The words of one in despair belong to the wind”?

How can emotional honesty answer critical questions like, “Why are you mad at me?” and “How can I meet your needs?”

How can you be aware of your emotional limits, and what should you do or not do when you become aware of it?

What are the potential dangers of pushing on when you are emotionally frayed?

What is the relative value of managing your emotions according to Proverbs 16:32, “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city”?

Living What You Learn If you are doing this study with a group, discuss among yourselves how emotionally honest you have been with each other and in your lives. Have each person finish the statement: I find it hard to be emotionally honest because . . . Then pray for one another after all have finished. How can you be a good example of emotional honesty at home and at work? Christianity is a real relationship, and being real is essential for being right.

A Word of Prayer Dear heavenly Father, Thank you, Lord, for your forgiveness and for setting me free. Because of your unconditional love and forgiveness, I can be emotionally honest. I am free to be myself, and free to be the person you called me to be. I want to walk in the light and have honest, real fellowship with you and others. I confess that I have not always spoken the truth in love or been honest about how I feel. Please fill me with your Holy Spirit and give me the courage to face my fears of being vulnerable. I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Looking Ahead By knowing the truth and managing our thoughts, we can have emotional stability every day. However, we all have emotional wounds from our past that can be triggered by present events. Next chapter we will discuss how to heal those emotional wounds and free ourselves from the past.

11 Healing Emotional Wounds People are hounded by their past unless their wounds are healed. Wounds that aren’t healed are transferred. Instead of intimate fellowship, we bounce off one another’s wounds. Jesus came to heal our wounds and set captives free.

INTRODUCTION PAGES

183–185

Reread the story of Cindy and Dan. How could all things work together for good for this couple?

Cindy was a child of God and needed to get beyond her tragedy. Two things had to happen in order for her to experience her freedom in Christ.

MANAGING PRIMARY EMOTIONS PAGES

187–188

The past can haunt you if you don’t know how to let it go. Traumatic experiences could be buried in your memory and available for instant recall. Describe a time when something in the present triggered a primary emotion in your life.

The intensity of primary emotions is directly related to the intensity of previous experiences. Review the path from “Previous Life History” to “Secondary Emotion” and answer these questions: How have you learned to deal with primary emotions?

How can you “talk yourself down” when a painful primary emotion surfaces?

If there is anyone in your life who you need to forgive, then the past still has a hold on you. How are you presently relating to that person or those people?

Sometimes we are not aware of how our past still affects us. What is the difference between the Christian approach to resolution and the psychotherapeutic approach?

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way” (Psalm 139:23–24). Some people have blocked memories that will surface later in life. Usually that happens when they have achieved enough maturity and support to resolve the issues that surface. If there is something in your past still affecting you today, God will surface that at the right time and give you the grace to resolve it.

SEE YOUR PAST IN THE LIGHT OF WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST PAGES

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You are not a product of your past. You are a product of Christ’s work on the cross—a new creation. You can evaluate your past experiences in light of who you are today. We live in a fallen world. Scripture never promises that you won’t be victimized, but it does promise that you don’t have to remain a victim. How can you keep from developing a victim mentality?

How should you view the past in light of who you are today?

What did you learn from the missionary who was sent home from the mission field?

Perceiving painful events of the past from the perspective of your new identity in Christ (or of your renewed appreciation of that identity) is what starts the process of healing damaged emotions.

THE FREEDOM OF FORGIVENESS PAGES

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The second action that must happen in order to be free from your past is to forgive others as Jesus has forgiven you. Define justice, mercy, and grace.

Freely we have received from God and freely we should give. Explain how our relationships with others are supposed to mirror our relationship with God.

How can the lack of forgiveness on your part give Satan an opportunity in your life?

“See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled” (Hebrews 12:15). How can many be defiled by one person’s lack of forgiveness? Can you share an example?

What Is Forgiveness? To answer that question, let’s begin by saying what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not forgetting. What did God mean when He said, “I will remember your sin no more”? How does that apply to you and your relationships with others?

Forgiveness does not mean tolerating sin. Abusers have been abused, and you will never help them by allowing them to continue abusing you and others. How can you set up scriptural boundaries to stop further abuse?

Forgiveness does not seek revenge or demand repayment. Why should you let an offender off the hook?

Forgiveness is not forgetting; it’s not tolerating sin; it’s not seeking revenge. What then is forgiveness? Forgiveness is resolving to live with the consequences of another person’s sin. Why is that fair or unfair, and what choice do you have in the matter?

What do people want when they stubbornly refuse to forgive?

Who do people hurt the most when they refuse to forgive? Who do they help the most when they do forgive?

If you have offended others, you should go to them and ask them to forgive you. If you have been offended, you should only go to God. Forgiving others sets you free from your past and sets the stage for possible reconciliation. It is not required that you like the people you forgive, but by the grace of God you can love them. In time, you will be able to think about the people who offended you without feeling hurt, angry, or resentful.

Twelve Steps to Forgiveness You don’t heal in order to forgive; you forgive in order to heal. You don’t forgive others for their sake; you do it for your sake. Read in the text the 12-step process for forgiveness.

Start by asking the Lord to reveal to your mind the people you need to forgive from your heart, and then list the names after the prayer: Dear heavenly Father, I thank you for the riches of your kindness, forbearance, and patience toward me, knowing that your kindness has led me to repentance. I confess that I have not shown that same kindness and patience toward those who have hurt or offended me (Romans 2:4). Instead, I have held on to my anger, bitterness, and resentment toward them. Please bring to my mind all the people I need to forgive in order that I may now do so. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

For every person that God reveals on your list, pray as follows: Dear heavenly Father, I choose to forgive [name the person] for [what they did or failed to do] when it made me feel [share the painful feelings–for example, rejected, dirty, worthless, or inferior]. After you have forgiven every person for every painful memory, then pray as follows: Lord Jesus, I choose not to hold on to my resentment. I relinquish my right to seek revenge and ask you to heal my damaged emotions. Thank you for setting me free from the bondage of bitterness. I now ask you to bless those who have hurt me. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. Forgiving others from your heart is the most Christlike action you will ever take. It may be a gut-wrenching process, but it is far easier than living in bitterness. Freedom is yours when you let it go and let God be the avenger.

A Second Touch In Mark 8:22–26, Jesus heals a blind man. At Jesus’ first touch, the man says, “I see men . . . like trees” (v. 24). When Jesus touches the man a second time, he sees people as people instead of seeing them as obstacles blocking his goal. In what way have you seen people that you have now forgiven as obstacles in your path? Can you now see them differently?

In what way do you need the Lord to touch you in order to love the unlovely?

Why don’t you ask Him?

A Word of Prayer Dear heavenly Father, “Search me, O God, and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way” (Psalm 139:23–24). If there is anything that I have overlooked or can’t remember from my past, please reveal that to me. I want to release all the entanglements of sin and live free in Christ. I choose to forgive as you have forgiven me. I choose to be merciful as you have been merciful to me. I choose to love others, because you have first loved me. I pray in the precious name of your Son and my Savior, the One who forgives and enables me to forgive. Amen.

Looking Ahead Jesus lived a perfect life and everyone rejected Him. No matter how well people live, there will still be some who reject them. The next chapter deals with rejection, criticism, judgment, and discipline.

12 Loving One Another The Law and the Prophets are fulfilled when we love the Lord our God with our entire being, and love our neighbor as ourselves.

INTRODUCTION PAGES

199–201

Freedom in Christ Ministries was born out of brokenness. If we believe that we can serve God in our strength and resources, He will let us until we burn out, drop out, or yield all to Him. God has a way of bringing us to the end of our resources so that we may discover His. Brokenness is the key to effective ministry. Why do you think that is the case?

We can respond to criticism in either pride or humility. Which should we choose and why?

THE GREAT COMMANDMENT PAGES

201–202

A lawyer asked Jesus what the greatest commandment was in the Law. Why did Jesus say, “The second is like unto it,” and why do the Law and the Prophets depend on loving the Lord our God with all our hearts and loving our neighbors as ourselves?

Why is the command to love one another a new commandment?

How should it impact us knowing that God himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men?

DEFENSIVENESS IS DEFENSELESS PAGES

202–204

The ultimate challenge for believers is to love the unlovely, return good for evil, and discipline others in love without judging them. Why is it wrong to defend ourselves when there is a legitimate basis for the criticism?

How should believers respond to critics who make false accusations?

If we are wrong, we don’t have a defense; if we are right, we don’t need one, because Jesus is our defense. What are some of the common defense mechanisms that people employ, and why shouldn’t believers resort to them?

How would you have responded to Alice’s accusations?

How can the lack of defensiveness be the soft answer that turns away wrath?

WHEN YOU ARE TEMPTED TO CRITICIZE OR REJECT OTHERS PAGES

204–206

“Accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God” (Romans 15:7). “Treat others the same way you want them to treat you” (Luke 6:31). Explain how Fred and Sue were doing just the opposite of what they should have been doing in a partnership.

Other than physical needs, what kinds of needs do people have that can be met by loving them?

Relationships don’t work when we attack another person’s character and think only of our own needs. Why is it more blessed to give than to receive?

What kinds of families and churches would we have if we all assumed responsibility for our own character and sought to meet the needs of those with whom we live and worship? Why is that so hard?

Right Versus Responsibilities

Why will nations and people fail if they focus on their rights and neglect their responsibilities?

Give some examples of when demanding our own rights may conflict with our responsibilities. For example: a sexually promiscuous female demanding an abortion, believing that she has rights over her own body, while demonstrating her irresponsible use of her body; the head of a home claiming his right to spend the money he earned any way he wants, while neglecting his responsibility to meet the financial needs of his family.

What are some inalienable rights that are worth fighting for?

When we stand before Christ, He will not ask if we received everything we had coming to us. Instead, He will reward us for how well we fulfilled our responsibilities.

Don’t Usurp the Role of the Holy Spirit What happens when we try to be another person’s conscience?

What is the difference between the convicting work of the Holy Spirit and the accusations of Satan and the world convicting us of sin?

The Holy Spirit knows when and how to bring conviction to a person. When we attempt to play the role of the Holy Spirit in others’ lives, we misdirect their battle with God unto ourselves, and we are not up for the task.

Discipline Yes, Judgment No The church has the responsibility to restore another believer who is caught in sin (see Matthew 18:15–16), but not to judge one another. What is the purpose for church discipline, and who is responsible for carrying it out?

What are the fundamental differences between disciplining someone and judging someone?

What should you do and not do if you have lovingly confronted someone about a sin that only the two of you know about, and the person doesn’t repent?

What may be the long-term consequences of attacking a child’s character instead of correcting their behavior?

What is the difference between discipline and punishment?

Express Your Needs Without Judging If you have legitimate needs in a relationship that are not being met, how can you express those needs in such a way that doesn’t impugn the other person’s character?

Why are some reluctant to express their needs?

Why does God work primarily in our lives through committed relationships?

Write a brief summary of how believers are to relate to one another.

Now that you have completed this book, what is your biggest takeaway?

Living What You Learn Is there a friend or family member that you need to reconcile with? Apologize to? Ask forgiveness of? How are you going to receive criticism from now on? What needs to change in the way you carry out discipline? How is God’s unconditional love and acceptance of you going to impact how you relate to others?

A Word of Prayer Dear heavenly Father, I come before your presence with thanksgiving for loving and accepting me. Thank you for sending Jesus to die in my place and for conquering death by the power of His resurrection. Thank you for the new life that I have in Christ Jesus. Thank you for adopting me into your family. Thank you for going before me and preparing a place for me for all eternity. Thank you for sending the Holy Spirit to empower and guide me. Thank you for the body of Christ, who are my brothers and sisters. Enable me to love and accept them as you have loved and accepted me. Please grant me the grace I need when I encounter rejection

and criticism. Enable me to do unto others as I would have them do unto me. Please fill me with your Holy Spirit and lead me in the everlasting way. In the wonderful name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.