Transpersonal Psychotherapy [1 ed.] 9781446266151, 9781412908023

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TRANSPERSONAL PSYCHOTHERAPY

Related titles: Robert Bor, Riva Miller, Martha Latz and Heather Salt: Counselling in Health Care Settings Janice Brewi and Anne Brennan: Passion for Life: Lifelong Psychological and Spiritual Growth Richard Nelson-Jones: Creating Happy Relationships Michael Scott and Stephen Palmer (eds): Trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Frank Tallis: Changing Minds: The History of Psychotherapy as an Answer to Human Suffenng Elizabeth Wilde McCormick: Change for the Better: Self-Help Through Practical Psychotherapy

TRANSPERSONAL PSYCHOTHERAPY Theory and Practice

Edited by Nigel Wellings and Elizabeth Wilde McCormick

( f ) S A G E Publications London m Thousand Oaks m New Delhi

ISBN 1-4129-0801-9 (hbk) ISBN 1-4129-0802-7 (pbk) © Nigel Wellings, Elizabeth Wilde McCormick and the contributors 2000 First published 2000 by Continuum, London This edition published 2004

Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988, this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form, or by any means, only with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Inquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.

SAGE Publications Ltd 1 Oliver's Yard, 55 City Road London EC1Y ISP SAGE Publications Inc 2455 Teller Road Thousand Oaks, California 91320 SAGE Publications India Pvt Ltd B-42 Panchsheel Enclave PO Box 4109 New Delhi 110 017

British Library Cataloguing in Publication data A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

Printed digitally and bound in Great Britain by Lightning Source UK Ltd., Milton Keynes, Bedfordshire

For Barbara Somers and Ian Gordon Brown, who established transpersonal psychology in the U K , and for all who will take it into the future

Contents

Foreword

David Fontana

Acknowledgements

ix xi

N o t e s o n Contributors

xiii

1. Beginning the W o r k

1

Nigel Wellings and Elizabeth Wilde McCormick 2. T h e T h e r a p e u t i c Relationship

20

Elizabeth Wilde McCormick 3. O n c e U p o n a T i m e . . . Stories, Beliefs and M y t h s

53

Claire Chappell 4. T h e W o u n d

74

Nigel Wellings 5. Images o f Liminality in the Masculine

103

Stephen Friedrich 6. Changes and Transitions

124

Valerie Coumont Graubart 7. Masculinities and Femininities, W o m e n and M e n

143

Ann Shearer 8. D r e a m i n g in D e p t h

157

Barbara Somers with Elizabeth Wilde McCormick 9. N a k e d Presence

177

Nigel Wellings 10. Specific T e c h n i q u e s

206

Focusing

Valerie Harding Davies

206

Sandplay

Claire Chappell

208

D r e a m recording

Nigel Wellings

211

A c t i v e imagination

Nigel Wellings

213

S p o t imaging

Nigel Wellings

215

T h e b o d y in therapy Philippa Vick

218

Further Information

221

Index

222

Foreword

T

ranspersonal p s y c h o l o g y is still not fully accepted b y all psychologists as a legitimate area for scientific investigation. A l t h o u g h there is n o d o u b t that

transpersonal experiences are frequently reported, the view o f s o m e critics is that they can b e explained away as self-delusion arising variously from undue suggestibility, over-active imagination, wishful thinking or a form o f psychosis. T h i s is unfortunate. Failure to accord transpersonal states their d u e psychological legitimacy means that they have still not been subjected to appropriate scientific scrutiny, with the c o n sequence that w e k n o w far less about them than w e should. W e d o k n o w , however, that such states can p r o v e life-changing, exerting a p r o f o u n d and enduring effect u p o n subsequent behaviour, belief systems, self-understanding and life goals. T h e y can also p r o v e disturbing, presenting individuals with experiences that challenge their existing understanding and that may p r o v o k e crises o f personal identity and threaten the stability o f existing relationships. In the light o f these effects, it is difficult to see h o w even the m o s t c o m m i t t e d behaviourist can deny the legitimacy o f the states c o n c e r n e d , or ignore their importance for our understanding o f the human m i n d . T h e r e is also a sense in w h i c h transpersonal

p s y c h o l o g y is o n e o f the most

c o m p r e h e n s i v e o f the various m o v e m e n t s that g o to make u p psychological science, because although its focus is u p o n those aspects o f experience and behaviour that lie b e y o n d the confines o f the individual e g o , it addresses in addition the nature and meaning o f this e g o . T h e r e are two reasons for this latter undertaking.

A t the

theoretical level, w e cannot fully understand what lying b e y o n d something really means unless w e k n o w what that something is. A n d at the practical level - o f particular importance to the psychotherapist - w e need to understand the relationship between the e g o / p e r s o n a l self and the transpersonal if we are to facilitate m o v e m e n t from o n e to the other (and where necessary help strengthen the e g o to the point at which such m o v e m e n t b e c o m e s possible). T h u s transpersonal psychologists and psychotherapists have a breadth to their theory and practice which is not always found in psychologists located in other areas o f specialization. W i t h this breadth goes not only an understanding o f other approaches, but a readiness to c o m b i n e them with transpersonal strategies when appropriate. T h u s o n e can, for example, b e b o t h a transpersonal

psychotherapist and a Jungian, a

transpersonal psychotherapist and a neo-Freudian, a transpersonal

psychotherapist

and a Gestalt therapist. Further, it can b e claimed that any psychologist or p s y c h o therapist w h o sees m e n and w o m e n as m o r e than complicated pieces o f biological machinery is already venturing into the transpersonal.

χ

FOREWORD It is self-evident to transpersonal psychotherapists that transpersonal concerns

underlie many o f the problems with which clients present. Sometimes these problems have to d o with intensely mystical o r spiritual episodes which clients have been unable to integrate into their psyches. A t other times they spring from transpersonal experiences which appear disturbing or threatening - the so-called spiritual emergencies to which m u c h attention has been drawn o f late - or with those that distance the client from family or friends w h o fail to understand their significance. O n yet other occasions the presenting p r o b l e m may have to d o with a client's perceived absence o f a transpersonal dimension to life and with a consequent sense o f meaninglessness and futility, or with his o r her systematic attempts to repress transpersonal

state as

threatening or as incompatible with existing belief systems. T h e prevalence o f these presenting problems means that many psychotherapists, without labelling themselves as transpersonal, nevertheless find themselves using transpersonal techniques in their work. In fact, it is true to say that n o psychotherapist w h o wishes to c o m p r e h e n d the full range o f client issues can operate successfully without s o m e knowledge o f these techniques. Hitherto, however, there has been a scarcity o f material that makes the transpersonal approach accessible to p s y c h o therapists whatever their theoretical persuasion. T h e present text is thus particularly timely, both for those w h o identify specifically with this approach and for those w h o currently lack specialist knowledge. In addition to proving timely, it represents a milestone in the formalization (if formalization is not t o o strong a word for an approach characterized by its sensitivity to individual client needs) o f transpersonal psychotherapy, and demonstrates m o r e o v e r the manner in which transpersonal psychotherapists are able to draw u p o n relevant techniques from other psychotherapeutic approaches. T h e range and quality o f the contributions to the b o o k , together with the rich humanity that informs them and the accessible language in which they are expressed, ensure that it will prove an invaluable addition to the libraries not only o f psychotherapists but o f all those interested in transpersonal psychology and its meaning for human thought and behaviour. Nigel Wellings and Elizabeth M c C o r m i c k and their collaborators provide us with what amounts to a detailed guide to all important areas o f transpersonal psychotherapeutic theory and practice. T h e y enthuse the reader with their o w n love for their subject, and with their o w n conviction o f its critical importance. T h e w i s d o m and sensitivity with which they write, and the depth o f experience upon which they are able to call, provide us with sufficient p r o o f o f the role that the transpersonal can play in our lives. T h e s e are writers w h o live their o w n message, w h o speak not only from their detailed work with others but from their work u p o n themselves. T h e b o o k stands as a shining example o f h o w psychotherapists can not only make their work comprehensible to readers, but can convince us o f its ability to make a profound difference to the lives both o f their clients and o f themselves. There can surely be no higher commendation. David Fontana Distinguished Visiting Fellow of Cardiff University Visiting Professor of Transpersonal Psychology at Liverpool John Moores University

Acknowledgements

T

he original idea for writing this b o o k came from the desire to record the work initiated b y Barbara S o m e r s and Ian G o r d o n B r o w n , whose training for p r o -

fessionals, offering a transpersonal perspective, has been in operation since 1977. W e

offer o u r grateful thanks to Barbara and Ian for all their years o f workshops and training p r o g r a m m e s that have been c o m p l e t e d b y hundreds o f people working in a wide variety o f settings. W e h o p e their creativity, generosity and spirit continues as the work develops. O u r grateful thanks g o to Barbara Scott for her saintly support, encouragement and tireless work in transcribing tapes and typing and retyping manuscripts. W e salute patient partners: John M c C o r m i c k , R o g e r Walters, M i c h a e l Graubart, Hilary Fisher and, in particular, Philippa Vick for extraordinary patience in the face o f severe provocation b y Nigel Wellings w h o took the major editorial role during the illness and death o f John M c C o r m i c k . O u r appreciation goes to Hazel Marshall w h o edited with thorough devotion papers and a taped interview between Barbara S o m e r s and Elizabeth W i l d e M c C o r m i c k for Chapter 8. P r o f o u n d thanks to Namkhai N o r b u R i m p o c h e for lighting the original Buddhist spark that has lain almost dormant for t o o many years and to Hilmar Schonauer w h o s h o w e d h o w to make it legitimately flame o n c e m o r e . T h e i r depth o f understanding has acted as the inspiration within Chapter 9. W e are grateful to Frances Baruch for permission to use a photograph o f her beautiful sculpture o n the cover. Finally, thanks to Ruth M c C u r r y for c o m m i s s i o n i n g the b o o k prior to her retirement and to Karen Haynes for taking it forward.

Notes on Contributors

C

l a i r e C h a p p e l l is a U K C P - r e g i s t e r e d transpersonal psychotherapist and an educational therapist. She is a m e m b e r o f the core training g r o u p as well as

teaching, supervising and running workshops. In addition to her private practice with adults she also works with children and adolescents and with their families and schools. V a l e r i e C o u m o n t G r a u b a r t has been practising as a psychotherapist since 1986. She is a supervisor and trainer at G u y ' s Hospital, L o n d o n and Hellesdon Hospital, N o r w i c h as well as at the Centre for Transpersonal Psychology where she is also a m e m b e r o f the c o r e training g r o u p . H e r inner-city N H S work has added to her awareness o f the impact o f social, political and historical forces o n the development o f the individual. V a l e r i e H a r d i n g D a v i e s is director o f counselling and psychotherapy at Keele University. She is a practising psychotherapist and works from a

transpersonal

perspective. S h e has been associated with the Centre for Transpersonal Psychology since the m i d - 1 9 7 0 s . S h e has run workshops and given papers o n

transpersonal

p s y c h o l o g y throughout the U K and at international conferences. She is a consultant, trainer and supervisor o f counsellors and psychotherapists within the private sector, the N H S and in the field o f education. S t e p h e n F r i e d r i c h was b o r n in G e r m a n y before the S e c o n d W o r l d W a r , came to England after it and then received a thoroughly British education. After university and National Service he worked in industry for thirty years and then entered o n a new career w h e n he started training to b e a psychotherapist with the Association o f Independent Psychotherapists. H e is n o w in private practice in L o n d o n . E l i z a b e t h W i l d e M c C o r m i c k is a psychotherapist, writer and teacher. She has been involved with transpersonal psychology in L o n d o n since 1974 and is currently a w o r k s h o p leader, a director o f the C T P psychotherapy training programme and a consultant. H e r background is in humanistic p s y c h o l o g y , social psychiatry and c o g n i tive analytic therapy. She is the author o f five books, including Change for the Better (1990, 1996), Surviving Breakdown (1988, 1993, 1997) and Living on the Edge (1997). A n n S h e a r e r is an analytical psychologist in private practice in L o n d o n . She is a m e m b e r and former convener o f the Independent G r o u p o f Analytical Psychologists.

xiv

NOTES ON CONTRIBUTORS

H e r books include Disability: Who's Handicap} (1981), Woman: Her Changing Image (1987) and Athene: Image and Energy (1996). Before training she worked as a freelance journalist and for the Guardian. B a r b a r a S o m e r s is a psychotherapist with a comprehensive background in Jungian psychology, Z e n and T a o i s m . In 1973 she c o - f o u n d e d , with Ian G o r d o n B r o w n , the Centre for Transpersonal Psychology, to which she remains a consultant. In 1995 she founded the Centre for Transpersonal Perspectives, L o n d o n . She has a private practice in Chichester, Sussex. P h i l i p p a V i c k is a UKCP-registered transpersonal psychotherapist in private practice in L o n d o n . She teaches her special interest in the energetic inter-relationship o f psyche and soma o n the C T P professional preparation. H e r background is in Hakomi therapy, the work o f B o b M o o r e and b o d y / mind energetics therapy. Before and during training she practised traditional Chinese acupuncture. N i g e l W e l l i n g s is a UKCP-registered psychoanalytic psychotherapist and transpersonal psychotherapist in private practice in L o n d o n . H e is a director o f the C T P psychotherapy training programme and a consultant, where he also teaches, supervises and runs workshops. Before training he painted Tibetan Buddhist icons, principally completing commissions for the books o f Namkhai N o r b u R i m p o c h e and members o f the D z o g c h e n C o m m u n i t y .

CHAPTER 1

Beginning the Work Nigel Wellings and Elizabeth Wilde McCormick

T

his b o o k offers an introduction to the theory and practice o f transpersonal psychotherapy as it is currently being taught and explored at the Centre for

Transpersonal P s y c h o l o g y in the U n i t e d K i n g d o m . Bringing their o w n philosophical attitudes and clinical understanding, the authors o f the nine chapters all contribute to the preparation o f transpersonal psychotherapy practitioners. T h e b o o k , reflecting the curriculum, is designed to be read as a process, taking students o f psychotherapy through stages o f awareness, awakening and understanding o f the central principles o f clinical practice. W e begin with an understanding o f the therapeutic relationship, seen as the vessel in w h i c h the transformative experience o f therapy takes place. T h i s is followed b y an exploration o f early c h i l d h o o d and the later presence o f the child within the adult. N e x t , h o w life inevitably psychologically w o u n d s us and the various patterns o f adaption to the w o u n d which gives rise to 'character styles'. T h e n to the initiations and demands o f the adult life o f m e n and w o m e n and a consideration o f gender. F o l l o w i n g this, a visit to the w i s d o m o f the dreamworld and a challenging look at the connections, profundities and dangers o f psychotherapy and spiritual practice. Finally we describe s o m e techniques that may b e used as an adjunct to the principle work. T o this work each contributor brings their o w n voice, expressing their o w n understanding o f transpersonal psychotherapy and so readers are exposed to many different approaches to clinical practice, use o f language and what is meant b y the umbrella term 'transpersonal'. W e believe that this celebration o f difference and even discord creates a rich and honest soil from which, however difficult, inclusive o f paradox, argument, and dissension, something interesting, heartfelt and vigorously growing will emerge.

A BRIEF H I S T O R Y O F T R A N S P E R S O N A L P S Y C H O L O G Y T h e w o r d 'transpersonal' was first used b y William James in 1906, in his b o o k The Varieties of Religious Experience. D r M a r k Epstein (1995) remarks that at this time James fully expected a p s y c h o l o g y , which placed transpersonal experience at its centre, to have an influential voice during the next century, not knowing that Freud's psychoanalysis was to take this place. T h i s voice took slightly m o r e than sixty years to speak and finally came in 1969 with the American publication o f the Journal of

2

NIGEL WELLINGS AND ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK

Transpersonal Psychology edited b y A n t h o n y Sutich. T h e Editorial Board at this time included the well-known names o f Roberto Assagioli, Stanislav Grof, Arthur Koestler, Abraham M a s l o w and Ira Progoff. T h e conceptual developments which preceded this were concerned with honouring the experience o f states o f being not recognized by other approaches to psychological thinking. N a m i n g a psychology 'transpersonal' acknowledged these states o f being in their o w n right, rather than their being reduced b y interpretations from psychologies with a different philosophical outlook. Since this time the understanding o f transpersonal experience has differentiated and evolved. T h i s b o o k continues, reflecting the process o f development where every person w h o is drawn to the work must further explore and redefine their understanding, avoiding dogmatism and keeping the process o f forging a relationship with the spirit o f the work alive.

THE DEVELOPMENT OF TRANSPERSONAL PSYCHOLOGY IN BRITAIN D r a w n to this exploration, Ian G o r d o n B r o w n , Joan Evans and Diana W h i t m o r e worked together with the Italian psychologist R o b e r t o Assagioli, the father o f p s y c h o synthesis and o n e o f the original pioneers in transpersonal psychology. Later they each returned to Britain and became the founders o f three important Centres representing transpersonal psychology here. W h i t m o r e founded the Psychosynthesis and Education Trust; Evans the Institute o f Psychosynthesis and during 1973, Ian G o r d o n B r o w n , together with Barbara Somers, founded in L o n d o n , the Centre for Transpersonal Psychology. A s well as his work with Roberto Assagioli, Ian was deeply involved with the Alice Bayley work and was also an industrial psychologist and founder o f the Industrial Participation Association. Barbara brought twenty years' experience in Jungian psychotherapy and an interest in Tibetan meditation and Z e n martial arts. T o g e t h e r they began the work o f the Centre with a series o f workshops reflecting these interests and drawing from their o w n creative understanding.

In 1977 they began an informal

training for professionals in transpersonal skills in counselling and psychotherapy, from which, eventually, over 500 people graduated. In 1997, after the unexpected and sad death o f Ian G o r d o n B r o w n , the Centre's work was reconstructed u p o n the foundations Ian and Barbara had laid and these most recent developments in thinking and practices are contained within the chapters o f this book.

TRANSPERSONAL PSYCHOLOGY ANDPSYCHOTHERAPY 'Transpersonal' has b e c o m e an umbrella term for naming those experiences where consciousness extends b e y o n d (trans) the individual or personal. T h e s e experiences are filtered through the individual person, hence the w o r d trans-personal rather than postpersonal or non-personal. T h e wide range o f human experience covered b y the umbrella

term

'transpersonal' and enquired

about b y transpersonal p s y c h o l o g y

BEGINNING THE WORK

3

includes the nature o f the e g o , spiritual emergency revealed in crises, illness and breaking d o w n to breakthrough; in near death experiences and states o f m i n d b e y o n d 'normal' perception, as in the experience o f aesthetic rapture, bliss, awe, ecstasy, w o n d e r and reverence; in altered states o f consciousness, such as pre-cognition, depth intuitions and transcendence; various states o f consciousness generated b y drugs, m o v e m e n t and breathing and finally meditative and contemplative practices. T r a n s personal

experience also includes states o f enlightenment

generated

by

these,

experience o f emptiness, o f being at o n e with the universe, the giving and receiving o f unconditional love and compassion for others and for life itself. W h i l e transpersonal psychotherapy's theoretical basis stems from transpersonal p s y c h o l o g y , transpersonal psychotherapists may also b e influenced b y any school o f psychotherapy. It is equally possible to practise transpersonal psychotherapy from a psychoanalytic ground as it is from an existential or Jungian ground. It was for this reason that the original training was called a perspective that c o u l d be added to and w o u l d enrich any pre-existing theoretical orientation. H o w e v e r , at the Centre for Transpersonal P s y c h o l o g y a Jungian orientation has been largely dominant, though not exclusively, and n o w is beginning to o p e n out with the presence o f Buddhist psychology

finding

a greater voice. F r o m this it will be clear that transpersonal

p s y c h o l o g y draws u p o n and uses what is really g o o d and solid from a variety o f philosophical approaches and it is because o f this the contradictory ideas within Jung and O b j e c t Relations, Developmental P s y c h o l o g y and Archetypal P s y c h o l o g y , will all b e found together. H o w e v e r , at its core is the understanding that human beings are capable o f making a living and meaningful relationship with suffering, a process James Hillman calls soul making, and also have the capacity to step into states o f 'spiritual' awareness that m o v e b e y o n d the ordinary everyday consciousness o f personality. Because these states have been explored so fully and are usually the domain o f religion, this may lead s o m e to spiritual practices o f prayer, meditation and contemplation outside and b e y o n d therapy. T h i s core belief means that a transpersonal psychotherapy practitioner, as well as sharing c o m m o n psychotherapeutic aims, will also b e o p e n to the possibility o f a patient awakening to, and inhabiting the wider transpersonal spaces within their being. F o r s o m e people this alone brings about a state o f healing, whether the outside circumstances are changed or not, because their fundamental attitude has shifted from unconscious victim to their o w n fears and desires into having an o p e n and accepting relationship with all o f life. T h u s w e b e c o m e m o r e than the sum o f our problems. Furthermore,

this can and does o c c u r whether or not the idea 'trans-

personal' is named, because the possibility for this sphere o f experience is already within the p s y c h e , ready to b e recognized. T h i s however is not to say that transpersonal psychotherapy encourages or approves o f misusing spirituality to avoid the m o r e prosaic but essential tasks o f appropriate e g o formation. It is fully cognizant o f e g o defences and therapeutic collusions representing themselves as spirituality.

4

NIGEL WELLINGS AND ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK

DISCRIMINATING AWARENESS T h e understanding and language o f the transpersonal aspects o f human experience has traditionally been carried b y those most c o m m i t t e d to the artistic and contemplative life, the poets, artists, visionaries and mystics, those w h o have honoured a creative and religious life. H o w e v e r , since these transpersonal aspects are part o f the human psyche it is also appropriate for the m o r e scientific approach o f psychology to make them its proper business. T h e great test, for our current age o f debate, and for the training o f therapists, is to be able to objectively consider and subjectively enter the experiences under the transpersonal umbrella, thereby bringing science and art together. I f w e are to b e able to speak authentically about the value (or not) o f contemplation w e must first explore it for ourselves, and then b e objective about our experience. Perhaps the example o f C . G . Jung is pertinent here. D u r i n g his well recorded breakdown he became traveller, artist, observer and scientist. H e was within the actual experiences o f his breakdown descent, observing the pattern o f his experience and recording images and dialogues in his notebooks. H e later said that it was from this period o f encounter with the unconscious that all his later (and greatest) work grew. It is vital to b e c o m e discriminating in our approach to transpersonal experience because these experiences are so often o p e n to misinterpretation and self delusion. T h e r e is a great need for any enquiry to distinguish between pseudo spirituality, spiritual 'escapism' or 'tourism', and profound and authentic spiritual experiences. It is important t o o that spirituality and spiritual practice d o not b e c o m e psychologized because this gives t o o often a reductionist, pathologized view o f what is a c o m m o n and profound experience for many millions o f human beings. Spiritual discipline, not unlike scientific research, demands rigour and attention, self-awareness and continual self-renewal. It demands that the e g o personality ultimately enters into the service o f the process o f that which is trans-personal. T h e n the engagement o f the t w o b e c o m e s the fulcrum for discovering what is real. Transpersonal

psychotherapists

need to distinguish,

in themselves

and

their

patients, transpersonal or spiritual experience which has emerged from mature c o n sciousness, the result o f a stable ego system, and the longing o f a fragile e g o system to merge back or regress into an infantile state o f fusion and bliss. T h e latter can lead s o m e o n e to search for the all embracing, all loving, magical encounter with a perfect other where they feel special and saved. Serious psychological w o u n d i n g and many addictions are the source o f such longing and many psychological, religious and spiritual groups can b e seen as the haven or heaven so desired. T h e test, to bring the longing inside, to withdraw the idealizing projections, to arrive at a m o r e mature spirituality, occurs when the person questions the idealized other and begins to feel restless. T h e i r struggle with their perceived 'saviour', sometimes a therapist, s o m e times an organization, sometimes a teacher, needs to b e c o m e a heroic quest leading to separation and the maturity to stand alone and thereby relate m o r e fully. I f u n r e c o g nized and unconsciously acted out, this necessary challenge can result in expulsion from the chosen group and may cause personal alienation. A s therapist, w e need to understand this powerful regressive pull back into preconscious bliss, k n o w i n g it often has a fixated, urgent, unrelated quality because o f its infantile nature, and help to b o t h

BEGINNING THE WORK

5

name the illusion o f ' m a g i c a l ' holding and help build a strong e n o u g h e g o within w h i c h the voice o f the mature self may b e heard.

MISUSE OF POWER T h e therapist is a professional person designated b y their training b o d y as fit and qualified to share intimately the psychic world o f another. T o stand in the place o f the Witness, Healer, Priest, D o c t o r , Father, M o t h e r , and the energies constellated around these archetypes, b o t h positive and negative. T h e practice o f our craft, a curious mixture o f art and science, rests m o r e u p o n the nature o f the person w e are than any other profession. O u r ability to sit 'well e n o u g h ' with authority and p o w e r and have absolute integrity is a crucial matter because the p o w e r projected b y the patient o n t o the therapist is so easily o p e n to abuse. T h i s abuse o f p o w e r may take the form o f over rigid adherence to s o m e s c h o o l or technique which creates the idea o f the 'all knowing therapist', an expert treating the patient w h o knows nothing. Furthermore,

practi-

tioners w h o are not self aware, not mindful, not in self questioning dialogue with themselves and others, can so easily b e seduced into identifying with the projections o f another. T h i s abuse o f p o w e r may take the form o f identifying with the idealized projections o f the patient for the therapist's self gratification o r b y abandoning an angry, hating patient before these experiences have been worked through which then leaves that person with an even greater sense o f worthlessness than they came with. A n o t h e r is b y responding to seductive overtures leaving n o safe place for a patient to have their powerful erotic feelings respected, in their o w n right, without being taken advantage of. T h e same for 'falling in l o v e ' , where the therapist is merely an 'agent' enabling the patient's capacity to b e awakened into an experience o f love that is a crucial part o f c o m i n g h o m e to themselves and to what for them is o f the inner Beloved. A b u s i n g p o w e r o v e r these poignant and demanding feelings means that the patient remains stuck, o r , worse, thrown back again into and c o m p o u n d i n g experiences o f abuse. Equally, and very m u c h a danger for therapists w h o have g o n e into the profession to ' d o g o o d ' is feeding u p o n another's need o f o n e thus maintaining a state o f d e p e n d e n c y . Being drawn into the powerful w e b o f a therapist for the therapist's o w n needs is the antithesis o f relationship. T h e therapeutic relationship rests u p o n its boundaries and limitations and sees itself primarily as a vessel through w h i c h another person may pass into the love, inspiration and freedom o f their o w n separate life. Appropriate separation is the goal o f therapy - the o n e profession that works hard to make itself redundant! S i n c e m o s t o f us have unfinished business with separation, whether from those w h o cared o r did not care for us as infants, o r from psychological structures that n o longer serve us, the fact that therapeutic work must end and the relationship share a g o o d b y e , offers an important ' m o d e l ' for future relationships, whether with others or within oneself. Particularly for us, in a therapy based u p o n a p s y c h o l o g y which includes the possibility o f spiritual awareness, this process o f separation is crucial. T o identify with the archetypes o f the Priest and the Healer, the W i s e M a n or W o m a n , the Shaman and

6

NIGEL WELLINGS AND ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK

Magician, is to lose touch with our humanity, and any ability w e may have to b e in relationship with another in such a way that healing takes place spontaneously will b e lost or distorted. T o avoid this we must be able to separate ourselves from

the

temptations o f such inflation and the invitations to assume these inflated persona offered b y some patients. Here, the practice o f mindfulness, meditation and c o n templation allows us to see clearly and sit back from archetypal inflammations o f the ego and to behave in a rightful way towards others w h o approach us for help. T h e role o f a transpersonal psychotherapist is to inhabit a mindful space in themselves first which will enable them to b e able to b e in this place with another, and to act as a sane midwife for the process in the other to unfold. O n c e born, the patient and their o w n unique attitude to spiritual awareness and practice, may (or may not) then take root in the world, and not at the feet o f the therapist, in whatever system they find appropriate. Power can also be used positively, but it is usually the kind o f p o w e r that emerges from true compassion and is related to the p o w e r o f mindfulness, clarity and love. I f love is the main motivating factor behind the work o f the therapeutic relationship, it is the love inspired b y the process o f the work itself. S u c h love is not to d o with attachment but to the process o f separation in order for there to b e a c o m i n g together. Helen L u k e observes: Tt is possible to glimpse for a m o m e n t that love which is personal involvement and impersonal detachment, each discriminated with the utmost exactitude and at the same time indissolubly o n e . ' (1992, p . 170).

BEING PRESENT IN S U F F E R I N G A t the heart o f all psychotherapy is human suffering and an understanding o f h o w this might b e best helped. T h r o u g h o u t this b o o k we will return to the belief that pain which b e c o m e s meaningful is m o r e easily borne and may in time even o p e n us to a greater sense o f w h o w e are. F o r this reason psychotherapy often seems a process o f 'endarkenment' as w e enter the underworld o f our o w n shadow and confront the hidden fears that lurk within. It is important not to romanticize this. T h e fear can b e so great that it is easily capable o f keeping us frozen in a half existence for the rest o f our lives. Frequently o n e may sit with someone w h o plainly understands h o w they have arrived at an untenable place in their life, w h o wants to m o v e o n and yet is utterly incapable o f d o i n g so until they find a way o f being with their fear. Different m e t h o d s offer different options here. It is not enough to simply intellectually understand our w o u n d s and h o w they affect our lives. Rationality has little to n o effect u p o n the unconscious. N o r is it the emotional expression o f w o u n d s that finally heals them (though it certainly gives s o m e immediate relief). W e all k n o w o f s o m e o n e w h o has b e c o m e an expert at catharsis and screams and shouts prodigiously but with n o apparent change. T h i s is because both the intellectual and the emotional methods take us away from the actual feeling and prevent us from being present with it. T o be present with it means allowing the feeling to b e felt fully, both as a feeling and as a sensation within the b o d y ; to feel its texture, its energy, its colour and shape, its sound and its m o v e m e n t and yet not to fall into it, to identify or act out o f it. Discovering this

BEGINNING THE WORK

7

m e t h o d , o n e may b e amazed at h o w an ill-defined sense o f discord and irritation, o n c e sat with, remaining present, o p e n s out into a big spacious feeling that has complicated emotional currents running through it. Continuing to stay with these feelings, they began to spontaneously, without intention, dissolve and m o v e o n . T h i s happens, not because o f a desire for change, in itself a n e w source o f conflict, but simply because emotions (and thoughts) stayed with in this way automatically m o v e o n , or 'self release'. B y neither repressing e m o t i o n nor b y unconsciously acting out e m o t i o n w e make o u r o w n vessel o f transformation where it is not the will o f the e g o that creates change but the greater nature that runs through us all. T h i s m e t h o d is a direct extension o f the practice o f mindfulness, seamlessly grafted o n t o psychotherapy, and as such promises to g o further than just exchanging o n e set o f emotions for another, but m o r e p r o f o u n d l y , to reach to the heart o f suffering and bring its release.

T H E O R E T I C A L A N D P H I L O S O P H I C A L IDEAS Transpersonal p s y c h o l o g y draws from a variety o f theoretical perspectives. H e r e we will look at s o m e o f the central ideas that o c c u r in the subsequent chapters.

EGO E g o means T . A s such it is the most familiar o f psychological terms. Conventional psychotherapeutic w i s d o m has it that w e must form a healthy e g o during infancy and c h i l d h o o d i f as adults w e are happily to take o u r place in the world o f work, relationships and family. T h i s e g o ideally should b e a balance o f openness and sensitivity to the u n c o n s c i o u s while at the same time having sufficient robustness that it is neither distructively o v e r w h e l m e d b y either the w o r l d or its o w n shadow. Fundamentally a healthy e g o is o n e that can b e in the w o r l d and allow its boundaries to expand and dissolve at will and will not experience this as a psychotic breakdown. T h i s understanding o f e g o will run throughout this b o o k . T h o u g h perhaps not very d e e p , it is exceedingly useful and practical because the majority o f p e o p l e w h o c o m e into therapy have either an ill formed e g o or an e g o that needs to b e m o r e o p e n to its u n c o n s c i o u s g r o u n d . It is perhaps because o f this clinical reality that psychoanalysis has concentrated o n the formation o f ego at great depth and in great detail but has not g o n e m u c h further than this. H o w e v e r transpersonal p s y c h o l o g y , while freely using analytic ideas, also acknowledges and appreciates trans-egoic states o f consciousness and additional ways o f understanding the e g o . M a r k Epstein (1998), expanding the conventional view, observes that o u r egos are actually m a d e out o f a c o m p l e x set o f self representations. H e suggests that the e g o is built u p over a long period o f time out o f our interactions with others, the w o r l d and o u r o w n already existing self images. F r o m these interactions we take away a self representation w h i c h is an image surrounded with value-laden emotions o f w h o w e are. If w e consider for a m o m e n t w e will see h o w w e have an internal list o f roles, characteristics, beliefs and values that w e identify with (including identity based o n

8

NIGEL WELLINGS AND ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK

spiritual beliefs and membership o f 'spiritual' groups). Usually most o f these are unconscious and remain so until some event occurs, and they b e c o m e conscious through loss. Just imagine having to spend a cold and hungry night out o n the streets alone and you will probably c o m e up against many that otherwise w o u l d remain unchallenged. A patient o n c e spoke o f a decision he had made to leave his family and h o m e abroad and return to England. O n c e he arrived he was utterly without any o f the c o m p o n e n t s o f his life; n o work, n o partner, n o child, n o h o m e , n o recognition o f role b y a c o m m u n i t y . H e said that he felt as if his life had suddenly b e c o m e like the inside o f a stainless steel drum, perfectly polished with n o hand or foot holds and he was suspended within it without any connection. T h e feeling o f this was terrifying, all his identity was stripped away and this was so unbearably painful that he very soon returned grateful and chastened to his original existence. W e can understand this experience as o n e where the man's self representations, created by the relationship to the various parts o f his life, were wiped out and the fear generated b y being himself without them so great that it was unbearable. N e x t , Epstein asks if the self representations, the flesh and bones o f the e g o , this sense o f I, are in fact real. M y patient very m u c h believed that he had lost himself as he wandered disorientated and in emotional shock as a result o f the sudden and total truncation o f his familiar life, but actually he was not dead nor was he in l i m b o and he did have feelings, indeed a great deal o f feelings. T h e p r o b l e m was not that he had b e c o m e a nothing, but that he did not know h o w to be with the new feeling o f emptiness and this is what then caused fear and a regressive defence o f returning to the familiar. T h i s experience o f the self representations, the c o m p o n e n t s o f self image, d r o p p i n g away is not only a typical experience o f loss and breakdown but also something actively pursued in insight meditation practice. Descriptions o f this (Engler 1984) describe h o w under meditative analysis the self representations are seen to break d o w n as the illusion o f a self continuing in time melts away to reveal a space between the self representations

(experienced as thoughts, emotions and fantasies

about

ourselves and our lives), that is full o f consciousness, yet empty o f self. A t this point transpersonal psychology may point b e y o n d conventional psychotherapeutic understanding o f e g o and say that there are many different descriptions o f states o f consciousness that remain cognizant but free o f self representations.

That

these states are generated by p s y c h o / p h y s i c a l disciplines and they represent t h e m selves generally as the real or natural nature o f the mind. T h a t in effect the self representations are a delusion and that the state o f underlying clarity is w h o we actually are. T h i s idea will b e followed up in Chapter 9 where we will also see h o w this understanding may b e transferred into the practice o f psychotherapy. I f many o f us enter psychotherapy because either our self representations have not properly or fully formed or that formed they have been disrupted, then perhaps a

transpersonal

approach not only includes establishing realistic self representations, thus creating a healthy e g o , but m o r e than this, also enables the patient to at least glimpse the transpersonal state 'beneath' the self representations so that w e may know that this is not annihilation but actually a momentary connection to the ground o f being. A s w e will see, techniques such as unconditional presence may facilitate this as does the Buddhist method o f insight meditation mentioned above.

BEGINNING THE WORK THE

9

SHADOW

T h e s h a d o w , a term coined b y C . G . Jung, is used in several different ways. Sometimes it signifies those experiences and feelings that are inconsistent with the adaptions that the conscious personality, the e g o , has to make o n the path o f individuation. A s we will see later, s o m e frustration is actually desirable and w e are entirely capable o f receiving it and using it for our o w n g o o d . Indeed, we can only have an e g o in direct proportion to the material w e repress in the shadow. H o w e v e r t o o m u c h frustration, not being nourished, not being allowed to assert and separate, not receiving the right messages about our place in the family, all cause parts o f ourselves either not to form o r , o n c e formed, b e lost. T h e s e experiences occasionally are emotionally traumatic but m o r e frequently c o m e as a m o r e subtle and all pervasive 'atmosphere' o f fear. T h e e g o , to defend its sense o f invulnerability, must repress such feelings into the shadow. A s such the s h a d o w is partially s y n o n y m o u s with the personal unconscious and is the repository o f the a u t o n o m o u s c o m p l e x structures that are built up around experiences (each having an archetypal c o r e ) and the feelings ( g o o d and bad) that are associated with them; s o m e are accessible to consciousness, s o m e not. It is this notion o f the unconscious that psychoanalytic understanding accepts. A s e c o n d use o f the term shadow not only includes the personal unconscious but the collective u n c o n s c i o u s as well. W h i l e the personal unconscious comprises personal experiences the collective unconscious contains the archetypes. I will explore these m o r e fully b e l o w but what is important here is to say that the shadow in this way also includes the anima and animus, the Self and also other images o f the universal experiences w e may all b e touched b y . T h u s the shadow does not only contain repressed material but also material in potentia and as such, the ego's anxiety about the shadow may not just b e a fear o f overwhelming painful feelings but also o f a fuller self it has yet to b e c o m e . Indeed, in practice, these t w o may actually be the same thing. F o r example, the redemption o f a powerful sense o f self assertion from within a self punishing personality is b o t h claiming something repressed in the personal u n c o n scious and also expanding into a potential, contained within the archetype o f the Self, yet to b e realized. T h i s broader understanding o f personal and collective levels o f the unconscious is entirely Jungian.

ARCHETYPES O v e r many millions o f years universal experiences such as birth, pairing and mating, survival and death have in turn b e c o m e an integral part o f human nature. T h e s e universal dispositions are innate and structure the pattern o f our lives and may b e called archetypes. T h o u g h we cannot see an archetype, because it is not a 'thing' but a function, w e can k n o w o f its existence b y deduction as it is evident through its manifestation. T h i s patterning function w e call the archetype per se and its t w o areas o f manifestation are as instinct and archetypal image. T h u s w e can say that the aims o f the instincts are evoked and represented b y the archetypal images. F o r example, the universal instinct to find another and continue the species is reflected in universal images

10

NIGEL WELLINGS AND ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK

o f the Beloved Other. T h e universal instinct to mother is reflected in the universal image o f M o t h e r and Child. T h e image speaks in the language o f s y m b o l and so we can say that there are archetypal symbols or that s y m b o l is the language o f the archetype. A s such, gods and goddesses b e c o m e metaphors for our human behaviour and myths are archetypal enactments. Furthermore, C . G . Jung believed that the structure and dynamics o f the psyche are governed archetypally and this is reflected in the inner images o f the persona, the shadow, anima and animus and the Self in all their varied symbolic representations. Archetypes may not b e experienced directly. A s the skeletal form o f experience they are clothed in our individual experiences which gives the universal pattern personal form. Indeed the very process o f psychological maturation is defined b y the extent that the e g o has differentiated itself from the collective pattern, through the process o f individuation, and has the ability consciously to c h o o s e h o w m u c h and w h i c h archetypes will influence it. A n example o f this would b e the conscious choice made b y a w o m a n not to have children, thus largely disidentifying with the archetype o f the mother, and perhaps instead, under the aegis o f Athene, a symbolic representation o f feminine analytical intelligence and competitiveness, perfect her professional life. O r again, a man recognizing a mass rally b e c o m i n g archetypally possessed and c h o o s i n g to walk away alone. Having said this it is also impossible ever to be free from archetypal influence and all personal material will have an archetypal core which will continue to exert powers o f fascination and will sometimes overwhelm the will and the emotions, causing an inflation o f the e g o (think here o f falling in love). T h i s is most likely at times when the e g o is particularly fragile, times o f stress, o f inner and outer crisis, or times o f rapture and delight, naturally o r artificially induced. Fundamentally a balance is needed, t o o m u c h identification with archetypal material will create an

inflated

personality that has little personal expression or experience, a state associated with immaturity and madness. T o o little connection to archetypal material will create a lifeless personality that will feel estranged from its source and may b e plagued with a longing for renewal. Ken

W i l b e r has expanded these Jungian ideas and suggests that there are 'true

archetypes'. H e argues, drawing o n mystical philosophy, that out o f Emptiness, the fundamental state o f reality, emerge the first forms which all subsequent and lower forms reflect and u p o n which their existence is dependent. H e says: Those forms are the actual archetypes, a term w h i c h means 'original pattern' or 'primary mold'. There is a Light of which all lesser lights are pale shadows, there is a Bliss of which all lesser joys are anaemic copies, there is a Consciousness of w h i c h all lesser cognitions are mere reflections, there is a primordial Sound of w h i c h all lesser sounds are thin echoes. These are the real archetypes. ( 1 9 9 6 , pp. 2 1 7 - 1 8 ) T h i s m o r e ancient view is placed within W i l b e r ' s notion o f the ' S p e c t r u m o f Consciousness' that will be touched u p o n in Chapter 9 . H e r e he suggests that there exist various bands o f manifestation that b e c o m e progressively m o r e concrete as they appear to devolve from pure consciousness. T h e first wave o f manifestation he calls the Transpersonal Band and the content o f this band are the 'true archetypes' mentioned

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above. U n l i k e Jung, he believes that these archetypes may b e experienced directly, not simply through their manifestation, and that this may b e achieved within the deepest and m o s t sublime states o f contemplation. H e says: These archetypes, the true archetypes, are a meditative experience, and you cannot understand these archetypes without performing t h e [meditative] experiment. They are not images existing in mythic worldspace, they are not philosophical concepts existing in rational worldspace; they are meditative p h e n o m e n a existing in subtle worldspace. ( 1 9 9 6 , pp. 2 1 7 - 1 8 ) . For

us this is an interesting emphasis. A l t h o u g h , remembering Jung's original

definition, that archetypal activity revolves largely around collective yet personal instinctual drives and their s y m b o l i c representation, it is also true that within these simple biological imperatives exist intimations o f something m o r e . Perhaps this is alluded to in the alchemical s y m b o l i s m that takes the c o m m o n stone and finds within it the p h i l o s o p h i c healing stone, the lapis. S o although the archetypes are w e d d e d to the instinctual d e m a n d s o f nature, they also carry the possibility that this instinctual life may

b e m a d e sublime. Certainly this is true o f the archetypes o f the anima and animus

and the Self, all o f w h i c h not only govern the outer reality o f biological pairing and copulation but also, as an inner reality, a longing for and experience o f union with the O t h e r that, if realized, creates spiritual wholeness. Perhaps this is where the link to W i l b e r ' s understanding may b e made. N o t sharing Jung's anxieties about practising meditation he is able to recognize that entering the contemplative state gives experiencial access to the 'true' archetypes. T h i s process demands a dissolution o f e g o boundaries and the entering into non-dual consciousness and so represents going m u c h further than simply realizing the biological potential o f the archetype through d e v e l o p ing a healthy instinctual e g o . Consequently, w e may think o f the archetypes not just as a c o m m o n soil from w h i c h w e all g r o w in individual ways but also as c o m m o n seeds that may b e cultivated into something divine. A s such archetypes are not just prepersonal, blueprints o f universal activities, but also transpersonal, essential s y m b o l i c potencies that trans-egoic states o f consciousness give access to and which, metaphorically, call from o u r deepest selves. T h u s w e may c o n c l u d e that there are in fact t w o levels o r experiences o f archetypes, those that are the first spiritual forms and those that, further d o w n the chain, are collective nodal points that human ' n o n spiritual'

experience gathers

around; o n e perspective is transpersonal

and

one

prepersonal.

THE

SELF

W e will see a variety o f meanings clustered around the word 'self. T h e first is designated by a s m a l l ' s ' and means the total person, including persona, e g o and the unconscious. T h i s self is not a static entity but develops and evolves through the individuation process. Establishing this self initially through e g o formation and finally through e g o expansion and dissolution may b e considered the ideal goal o f life. It is this usage o f self, inclusive o f e g o and the unconscious, that psychoanalytic literature is usually referring to though without including the idea o f its final dissolution.

12

NIGEL WELLINGS AND ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK T h e second meaning is designated with a large ' S ' . Here Self is understood as the

archetype that provides the foundation o f the ego complex and as such is the 'blueprint' for the personal self referred to above. T h i s archetype reveals itself in our need and ability to find and make meaning from the chaos o f our lives and the world around us. T h i s includes the ability to perceive and experience the numinous, the felt presence o f divinity and spirituality, and for this reason Jung has called the Self, the G o d image in the psyche. Finally as the G o d image it must by definition be greater than the ego and so descriptions o f it b e c o m e paradoxical as they approach its ineffability. Hence it is both the centre and the periphery o f the psyche simultaneously. T h i s concept is Jungian and has been largely absorbed by transpersonal psychology at the Centre for Transpersonal Psychology as a synonym for ' T h e Transpersonal'. T h e third use is ' n o - s e l f . W h e n this is referred to (principally in Chapter 9 ) , what is meant is that when ultimately viewed there is nothing within us that can b e seen as some essential personal part that has an ultimate, real or unchanging nature. T h a t notions o f a soul, a spirit or a Self d o not under contemplative investigation reveal s o m e part o f us that is eternal and divine. T h i s o f course is the Buddhist doctrine o f anatta, n o soul or self, and it finds a place here because transpersonal p s y c h o l o g y in America has been greatly influenced b y Buddhist p s y c h o l o g y which has, following W i l b e r , placed archetypes and transpersonal experience as penultimate to a final state o f ( n o self) spiritual realization.

A N A L T E R N A T I V E M A P O F U N C O N S C I O U S PROCESS John W e i w o o d (1977) refines our understanding o f the e g o ' s relationship to u n c o n scious processes. H e distinguishes between 'focal attention' which rests u p o n a never ending series o f subjects (as y o u read you are using this focal, or focused attention on the ideas in this sentence), and 'diffuse attention' which perceives experiences as a whole. His example is listening to music. Focal attention pulls out o n e part b y concentrating on it. Diffuse attention simply takes in the whole. H o w e v e r , we are d o i n g this all the time: as we focus we are also, via diffuse consciousness, receiving vast amounts o f information. H e imagines this diffuse attention in layers and calls these a series o f 'grounds', each contained within a larger o n e beneath and around it. T h e first level he names the Situational Ground which carries what Gendlin calls the 'felt sense' (see Chapters 9 and 10). T h e felt sense is the sum o f all the unspecific understanding and feeling w e have around that which we focus o n and which gives it a 'felt meaning'. T h i n k here o f your response to reading this b o o k again. Behind what you specifically think and feel about it exists a whole 'fuzzy feel' that makes it different from other b o o k s y o u have previously read. A m o r e usual name for this ground is the concept o f the preconscious. Beneath this and wider is the Personal Ground which is a little less accessible. Here all the events that have shaped our personal self, influence our experience in a background way. Conventionally this would b e called the personal unconscious but here we want to get away from the image o f a hidden b o x full o f complexes and rather emphasize the dynamic and momentary interaction o f this ground as an active

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participant in perception, interpretation and understanding o f the world and experience. Furthermore, this ground has the ability to correct focal attention b y adding to it unnoticed information. T h i s is the 'holistic tendency' that Jung attributed to the Self and which is demonstrated in the compensation o f dreams and other personal ground activity. Beneath this the widest level and m o r e inaccessible still is the Transpersonal Ground which has t w o aspects, o n e corresponding to our ' b o d i l y orientation to the w o r l d ' and the other 'the forward impetus o f the organism'. T h i s transpersonal ground is the place where w e are e m b e d d e d as an organism in the environment and are archetypally organized. T h e first aspect is simply that our human b o d y influences h o w we experience and the significance we attach to this. In that our bodies are universally found they are archetypal and as archetypes they organize perceptions into patterns that accrue personal experience around them. F o r instance, the physical fact that our head is above our torso gives rise to images o f u p and d o w n and then to all the collective and personal associations that g o with these t w o w o r d s . T h e s e c o n d aspect, 'the forward impetus o f the organism', is that which 'continually functions as a background guide and inspiration for the individual's growth'. T h i s is not to b e thought o f here as s o m e sort o f intention that emanates from the Self but rather as a relationship with the broadest and deepest spectrum o f perception that makes available to consciousness 'sudden insights, inventions, creative inspirations, dream visions, [and] inspirations'. Again this is not something hidden in our depth but the very broadest ground o f diffuse attention at work. D i r e c t experience o f this may b e obtained through contemplative practice where it is found as a unitary state with oneself and the w o r l d . Buddhist p s y c h o l o g y has described this as the first stage o f manifestation, the alayavijnana, the realm o f the true archetypes W i l b e r describes above and experientially it may b e felt as 'the sheer vividness o f being-here that underlies and surrounds . . . experience'. C o n c e i v i n g o f this as a usually unconscious experience o f relationship takes us away from the idea o f archetypes as inborn structures or contents o f the collective unconscious. Finally w e c o m e to the Basic Open Ground. T h i s is defined as 'pure immediate presence before it b e c o m e s differentiated into any form o f subject-object duality'. Reading this I am reminded o f the Tibetan notion o f hedewa which observes that for a split s e c o n d after a shock, in the disorientated state, w e have direct access to the pure nature o f the m i n d , here called basic o p e n ground. Have s o m e o n e shout at y o u unexpectedly and y o u will directly understand this. T h i s experience, not particularly esoteric, is going o n all the time but we simply d o not notice it. T h i s is because in every m o m e n t this naked state is continuously and instantly clothed in thoughts and feelings as it arises. It is the fabric o f this that we c o m e to believe is ourselves (self representations) and in this way we keep the illusion o f ourselves going. H o w e v e r meditation practice finally leads into direct knowledge o f this state b y creating a gap in the stream o f contents and then contemplation enables us to remain in pure presence effortlessly. O n e importance o f this alternative m a p is that it represents transpersonal and enlightened states, not as numinous contents rising out o f the collective unconscious, which w o u l d imply that they are s o m e h o w contained and latent within it. But m o r e

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NIGEL WELLINGS AND ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK

accurately as the basic 'stuff that underlies the progressive levels o f manifestation that we believe to be ourselves. T h u s W e l w o o d can summarize b y saying 'Awareness begins with openness, b e c o m e s humanized at the transpersonal level, individualized at the personal level and particularizes at the situational level'. Furthermore, this has clinical implications, the least not being that fear o f the unconscious here b e c o m e s fear o f the egolessness o f the basic o p e n ground. Something the man w h o returned to England and mentioned above knew all t o o painfully.

T H E EDINGER MAP Edward Edinger (1992, p . 5) reminds us o f the classical Jungian theory that the first half o f life is primarily concerned with the emergence o f the e g o from the Self while the second half concerns the e g o returning to the Self, but o n return, ideally conscious o f its union. In this process w e see at the first stages the ego m o v i n g from a total identification with the S e l f to a point at midlife where ego and self are most estranged. A t this point necessity creates an opportunity for ego and the feelings o f alienation may spur the e g o to try to reclaim s o m e o f its lost energy. I f this is so a reconnection with the Self,

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15

obtained via many means, therapy a m o n g them, may begin to establish a e g o / S e l f axis that acts as a connecting dialogue between the two. T h i s creates an o n g o i n g h o m e o stasis, a self regulating psychological balance, that evolves, b y the end o f life, as a spiritual experience o f universality as e g o and Self unite consciously. Edinger, acknowledging the work o f Michael F o r d h a m (1957), also notices that within each lifetime the e g o repeatedly disintegrates and reintegrates with the Self as a source o f psychological nourishment. H e r e we need to think o f going to sleep, o f mental breakdowns that b e c o m e breakthroughs, o f meditative practices that dissolve ego boundaries, o f any event that transforms the e g o b y enlarging it with the potential held within the Self. A s such we need an image that is m o r e than a linear journey through life but o n e that is a continual alternation between Self and e g o and which spirals along. L o o k i n g at this map critically we can see that it offers s o m e useful ways o f thinking about c o m m o n experience. It is certainly true that w e are renewed b y relaxing our self image and allowing something n e w in and that the m i d d l e o f life may b e c o m e a wasteland for s o m e which is cured b y creative work, paying attention to dreams and other unconscious expressions and practising s o m e form o f religious or spiritual discipline. H o w e v e r , against this is the empirical observation b y psychologists o f infant d e v e l o p m e n t which has challenged the belief that the e g o is identified with the Self as this idea suggests. T h i s question c o m e s u p in several later chapters, either explicitly or implicitly, and o n balance remains unanswered because while it is true that a tiny infant does reach out immediately in such a way that suggests she is already a separate being, to what extent this demonstrates her o w n experience o f herself as separate must remain unknown. A s e c o n d line o f criticism, this time philosophic, would also question the mythic assumption in this idea which is entirely based upon the belief that life is a journey. W h i l e this is obviously true in a biological sense it may not b e so true in a spiritual sense. T h e Z e n understanding o f the Gateless Gate tells us that while we remain unconscious o f our already existing pure nature we imagine that it is somewhere other than where w e are and so continue to search in the h o p e o f finding it. H o w e v e r , o n c e found b y entering the state o f non-dual consciousness, w e look back and see that the gate we passed through, o n the enlightened side does not exist. In this way the idea is a p r o d u c t o f unenlightened mind and may also d o a disservice b y adding weight to the delusion that what w e search for is somewhere else.

GOING SOMEWHERE A N D BEING ALREADY THERE T h e idea above leads us to t o u c h u p o n the t w o great m y t h i c rivers that have

flowed

d o w n through the religious systems o f East and W e s t . W e in the W e s t have c o m e to b e identified with the heroic archetype that quests for a longed for other. Plato's story o f an original being with four arms and four legs split asunder b y the gods and d o o m e d ever to wander in search o f its other half speaks o f this. T h i s has given rise to the notions o f a journey leading to the B e l o v e d , the Supreme G o d , and that a relationship coloured with longing for this g o d , perhaps reflected in a far country, a mythic city or

16

NIGEL WELLINGS AND ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK

a L a d y , gives meaning and purpose to the hero's challenging journey. M a n y personal journeys mirror this archetypal journey and in the traditions o f Judaism, Christianity and Islam w e find saints and sinners struggling to c o m e to their o w n relationship with G o d . F r o m this it is also clear that m o d e r n psychotherapy continues within this mythic constellation. Against this, a far older tradition, primarily expressed b y H i n d u i s m and B u d d h i s m , speaks o f divinity as ultimately an abstract state that is never anywhere other than where w e are n o w . W h a t prevents us from recognizing it is our o w n blindness and both systems have devised methods o f spiritual discipline to help us see, to help us Awake. A s the famous Z e n saying has it, ' I f y o u see B u d d h a o n the road, kill h i m ' . N o t only does this tell us that all conceptions o f the awakened state are false but perhaps also that that found o n paths is o f n o worth and even may be a danger if it takes us out o f the eternal present. In this b o o k these t w o myths duck and dive through each other. M a i n l y the Western myth o f journey will be most visible, perhaps because psychology as a Western animal is so shot through with the heroic that it is difficult to conceive o f anything without it. H o w e v e r , as the b o o k progresses the second myth b e c o m e s m o r e apparent until finally, following s o m e American transpersonal psychologists, it provides a profound understanding o f dualism and the path out o f suffering. Wherever w e speak o f emptiness, no-self, mindfulness, presence, bare attention, meditation and contemplation, all o f these are drawn from and reflect the Eastern, and particularly the Buddhist, traditions.

T H E JOURNEY O F T H E SEED T h i s is a poetic image and as such is a description o f feeling. M a n y o f us entering therapy will complain o f feeling that w e are s o m e h o w not in the right place or have c o m e out o f familial circumstances that feel they have nothing to d o with us. Perhaps the frequent fantasy o f children and adolescents that their parents are not their o w n is m o r e than a struggle to accept reality b e y o n d narcissistic grandiosity and truly tells o f feelings o f personal estrangement. T h e metaphor o f the journey o f the seed addresses this. In this we assume that at birth there was a seed that contained our 'true nature' and that given the right environment it w o u l d g r o w and flourish as a realization o f the potential within it. H e r e we are not talking o f the seed as the universal potential o f our species that each o f us all carry but m o r e personally, my seed holding my own unique potential. L e t us say that this seed was o f an orange tree, something a little exotic that needs warmth to grow. H o w e v e r , landing in a cold and inhospitable place, unsuitable for its nature, it suffers a series o f frustrations that distort its natural growth and turn it into a stunted and sick plant instead. A mere shadow o f what it could b e . Examples o f this may b e a scientifically inclined child landing in a family o f artists w h o are antiscience or a very tactile child born into a physically reserved family. In this way many o f us have not had the nourishment to b e c o m e what w e have the ability to b e . In many o f the chapters these developmental arrests are described in

BEGINNING THE WORK

17

different ways and all share the basic belief that it is possible to return to the seed, the u n d e v e l o p e d possibilities o f the unrealized child, and restart o r catch u p with the process o f healthy expression. Initially this may b e very painful because it will mean cutting back the straggly growth, a process frequently started b y loss o r breakdown, but o n c e the space is m a d e n e w growth may then appear. W h a t is also particularly interesting in this is the idea o f a 'true s e l f that is in s o m e way

personal and present at birth. T h i s goes b e y o n d conventional psychotherapeutic

understanding because it is saying m o r e than w e have an individual character already in the w o m b o r that w e carry familial dispositions genetically. Rather it suggests the idea o f reincarnation and the karmic creation o f personal characteristics from o n e life to the next. Jung himself dabbled with this idea in his introduction to the Tibetan B o o k o f the Great Liberation ( C W 11 para. 7 5 9 - 8 5 8 ) but was fearful o f the accusation o f holding the then unfashionable belief o f Lamarckianism w h i c h held that personal qualities c o u l d b e inherited. M o r e recently R o g e r W o o l g e r (1994) has explored the possibility o f past life regressions that a m o n g other explanations leaves o p e n the d o o r to reincarnation as an actuality. Others, often influenced b y B u d d h i s m and H i n d u i s m , as an article o f faith, will have n o trouble with this and will happily embrace the theory o f reincarnation as an o b v i o u s truth. H o w e v e r , even if w e accept reincarnation, and consequently personal characteristics appearing at the beginning o f o n e life as a result o f the last, this d o e s not answer what or who is reincarnating. H i n d u i s m offers the view that there is a personal self, the atman, that continues through many, many incarnations m o v i n g ever towards the light as w i s d o m is accrued. F o r many Westerners, harbouring unconsciously the Christian promise o f heaven and perhaps Western

Spiritualist

beliefs, this is familiar and answers the question with the reply that the true self is the soul and it is this which is reincarnating.

H o w e v e r M a r k Epstein, a Buddhist

psychotherapist w h o has contributed extensively to the field o f transpersonal p s y c h o l ogy, offers another reply when he writes: W h e n asked by one of his Western students puzzling over the Buddhist teaching of egolessness [no-self], 'Well if there is no [true] self, w h a t is it that then reincarnates?', the Tibetan lama Chogyam Trungpa laughed and answered without hesitation. 'Neurosis' he replied. ( 1 9 9 8 , p. 86) Perhaps what finally matters, whether w e call that which w e arrive with a personal divine spark o r a b u n d l e o f karmic traces o r indeed a combination o f b o t h , is that there is something quite unique about all forms o f life. A s psychotherapists w e h o n o u r this, k n o w i n g whatever the nature o f the seed, that as a poetic entity it speaks o f a promise that is also a w o u n d , that seems lost and yet may b e found again.

MYSTERY H o w e v e r , finally not all things can be understood, which is possibly a relief, and what remains unknown remains a mystery. T h e r e is mystery in the exchange within the therapeutic relationship. W e can never k n o w h o w far or where a client may take us.

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NIGEL WELLINGS AND ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK

Therapists work with the unknown; they have to be prepared to be surprised. Sometimes, soon after therapists find themselves wondering: 'Has this person m o v e d as far as they need to d o for n o w ? ' or, Ί wonder if they are getting ready to finish?', they have a dream, a revelation, or meet a new person and this brings them into another understanding. T h e mystery is in h o w these t w o parts, the therapist's thought and the unfolding synchronous events o f the client are related. W e d o n ' t have to have an answer but be mindful and happy in our not knowing. Buddha himself refused to be drawn o n the origins o f the universe; perhaps he was happy to leave this as a mystery? O n e story is o f a woman w h o came with 'post traumatic stress' after a serious accident into therapy. S h e began to talk about ending therapy when she was feeling better after eighteen months. She felt she had been 'indulgent' enough. T h e n she had a dream about y o u n g children playing in a back garden w h o became separated from her, suggesting that she had b e c o m e estranged from the playful and creative forces o f renewal and growth within her o w n psyche. T h e quality and meaning o f the dream offered her an awakening experience that changed her attitude to herself. F r o m the symptomatic relief o f 'getting over a past serious situation' she m o v e d into reverential exploration. A different story is o f a y o u n g nurse w h o had been severely depressed for a long time and was o n heavy medication. D u r i n g her therapy she went into deep descent and did not m o v e b e y o n d the process o f living in a very dark place during her five years o f therapy. H e r survival through the most annihilating inner experience is o n e mystery, and in this case the therapeutic relationship was a vital, but mysterious link with an 'unconditional life' as she was exploring it for herself. It is hard to name accurately the process that differentiates these t w o different experiences. A l l p e o p l e use therapy in their o w n way and we must make n o value judgement about it. Another mystery is the issue o f timing. A therapist may say the same thing to a client on many occasions and it seems to g o unnoticed. T h e n o n e day the person c o m e s in all excited, having read something similar, or the very thing itself, in a b o o k or being told it b y an enlightened other, and it's as if they have stumbled u p o n it for the first time. T h e s e mysteries demonstrate that the person is truly getting engaged in their o w n life and responses and not stuck in having to take the therapist's w o r d for it. T h e r a p y needs not to make its users feel inferior because they have not b e c o m e enlightened or got angry enough, nor its therapists fall into dismay for lack o f ' c h a n g e ' . T h e r e is an alarming and persistent myth about therapy that if y o u have had e n o u g h and with the right person y o u will b e all sorted out. Failure to d o so can feel like an attack u p o n o n e ' s experience and also leave o n e endlessly looking for 'perfect care' and for what is designated ' e n o u g h ' . W h i l e it is fundamental for therapists to try and receive the best training we can, it seems equally important to enter into the mystery o f the therapeutic exchange and allow the mystery itself to be a b o d y o f k n o w l e d g e . Therapists learn far m o r e from their o w n scientific enquiry and research as they are working and questioning each exchange with another than they d o from textbooks or seminars. T h e i r o w n c o m m i t m e n t to the process o f engagement, their curiosity and hunger to understand can b e the mysterious ' x ' factor that ignites the relationship into something nearer to healing than any formalized learning can teach.

BEGINNING THE WORK

19

REFERENCES Edinger, E. F. (1992). Ego and Archetype. Boston and London: Shambhala. Engler, J. (1984) 'Therapeutic Aims in Psychotherapy and Meditation: Developmental Stages of Representation of the Self Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, 1 6 ( 1 ) , p. 25. Epstein, M . (1995). Thoughts Without A Thinker. New York: Basic Books. Epstein, M . (1998). Going To Pieces Without Falling Apart. New York: Thorsons. Fordham, M . (1957). New Developments in Analytical Psychology. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Jung, C. G. (1969). Psychology and Religion: West and East. vol. 11 of Collected Works. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Luke, H. (1992). The Way of Discrimination in Kaleidoscope. New York: Parabola Books. Welwood, J. (1977). 'Meditation and the Unconscious, A New Perspective', Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, 9(1). Wilber, K. (1996). A Brief History of Everything. Boston: Shambhala. Wilber, K., Engler, J. and Brown, D. P. (1986). Transformations of Consciousness. Boston and London: Shambhala. Woolger, R. J. (1994). Other Lives, Other Selves. London: Aquarian.

CHAPTER 2

The Therapeutic Relationship Elizabeth Wilde McCormick

Analysis/therapy

is a process whereby a space is made in man/woman from God

whence

may speak. (Hermann Hesse)

Editor's note.- When most people think back on a sustained period of psychotherapy it is their relationship with their therapist that remains most memorable. Within this complex, rich and sometimes troubling relationship is contained the whole of the therapeutic work and as a mirror it reflects the process of knowledge, transformation and healing. It is not insignificant nor exaggerated that C. G. Jung likened it to an alchemical process wherein that which is dark and poisonous is made sublime and cures all ills. In this chapter, Elizabeth McCormick takes us into this rare and precious exploration with another, showing something of its interior, its deeply personal, soulful quality and also the transpersonal, spiritual moments when presence lifts both therapist and patient into a place where striving to be other falls away. For the Transpersonal Psychotherapist and others sharing this perspective, the marriage of soul and spirit, bridged by image and contemplative silence and held within the vessel of the therapist's awareness, is the heart of the work. N.W.

INTRODUCTION hat does it mean to sit in a r o o m with another person where one o f the chairs is V V assigned 'client' or 'patient' and the other 'therapist'? T h e nature o f the therapeutic relationship is a curiosity o f our time. In the public arena it is increasingly the focus o f litigation, o f 'therapy junkies', o f story, joke, and H o l l y w o o d movies. It is the one aspect o f all approaches to therapy (currently in Britain there are 450 different kinds o f therapy!) that research has shown is the determining factor in the process o f change. It is unlike any other human relationship, intensely intimate, client revealing all to therapist w h o reveals little or nothing, and contained b y professional boundaries. It can b e c o m e a unique friendship within which the growth and exchange o f love is possible. T h e practice emerges historically from and shares elements o f the confessional. T h e telling o f secrets, the revelation and purgation o f 'sin', the sharing o f w o u n d i n g and pain which is met b y a trusted person in an 'officially' designated safe and sacred space. Being listened to and being heard, means being able to listen to oneself, and holds the potential to experience healing. Freud perhaps recognizing this said: Ί bind the

THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP

21

w o u n d s , G o d heals'. In terms o f the secular therapeutic relationship the healing experience can c o m e from the disappearance o f o n e ' s presenting s y m p t o m s and from being offered a place where o n e may begin to b e in alignment with o n e ' s ' s e l f . T h i s ' k n o w i n g and accepting oneself as o n e truly is', is the foundation for m o v i n g into life differently from a life dominated b y reactions to external p r o b l e m s . Transpersonal psychotherapy recognizes the potential o f the therapeutic relationship as it works towards making itself redundant as what transpires within the b o d y o f the work is internalized b y the patient into a relationship with psyche, with spirit, soul and Self, and with life itself. T h e primary use o f the human relationship is for the experience and integration o f wholeness. T h i s wholeness, projected o n t o the therapist and carried b y the mysteriousness o f the therapeutic relationship, is experienced and taken in b y the patient in the service o f their o w n individuation process. It is the passage to the glimpses o f wholeness that transpersonal psychotherapy considers crucial. Healing is then c o m p o s e d o f m o m e n t s o f reflection, an awareness o f what w e feel and think, focusing and imaging, a deepening o f understanding b y way o f a 'felt sense' leading to a 'felt shift' (see Chapter 9 ) and b e y o n d this m o m e n t s o f being n o n identified with the personal contents o f consciousness. Transpersonal experience at its most p r o f o u n d is where the s u b j e c t / o b j e c t division ends.

T H E T H E R A P E U T I CR E L A T I O N S H I PIN HISTORICAL

CONTEXT

T o w a r d s the end o f the last century, Freud made his extraordinary conceptual leap from a study o f the human m i n d as a neurologist into a study o f the unconscious. T h e mysterious and sometimes 'mystical' 'art' o f the therapeutic relationship met the scientific medical m o d e l approach to human exchange. Freud seems to have been motivated b y art and religion as well as b y science and he possibly oscillated between their effects throughout his lifetime. In a 1934 interview with Giovani Papini he said that Ί am really an artist, a man o f letters, though still in appearance a d o c t o r ' . H e felt that his case histories should read like novels, and he was a g o o d writer, drawing o n the world o f literature as well as science to give an accurate picture o f a person's life. Contrary to the five times a week psychoanalytic m o d e l that has been strictly adopted by his followers, in early practice Freud was an advocate o f brief therapy. Six or seven sessions were the n o r m in the early days, and he w o u l d walk about with his patients. A t first he regarded what he called transference as an obstacle to therapy and w o u l d have preferred to b e regarded as a scientist or surgeon. H e had been witness to the frightening effect o f an eroticized transference o n t o his friend Breuer from A n n a O . H e later changed his view, but only went as far as d e v e l o p i n g his idea o f the 'blank screen' approach o n t o w h i c h transference was projected — still avoiding the m o r e intense intimate emotional contact with patients. In 1907 w h e n Jung first visited F r e u d in Vienna, Freud asked him what he thought o f transference and J u n g replied: 'it is the alpha and o m e g a o f treatment', to which F r e u d replied: 'then y o u have grasped the main thing' (Jung 1945). But they thought o f it and d e v e l o p e d it quite differently. F o r Jung, w h o drew his understanding o f exchanges between human beings from a m u c h wider symbolic realm than Freud

-

22

ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK

from the collective, from archetypal structure, from religion and alchemy as well as medicine and story - the transference was only o f value when it was spontaneous. H e felt that it could not be contrived b y 'blank screen' settings, nor could it be demanded. Such an enforced demand was akin to enforced faith - nothing but 'spiritual c r a m p ' (Jung 1945, para. 359). Jung became m o r e interested in the links between processes revealed b y his alchemical studies, and the union o f opposites within psychic life, in particular the union o f masculine and feminine, o f Eros and Psyche, in the coniunctio, or hieros gamos, the Divine W e d d i n g . N o w , in classical psychoanalysis and therapies based only upon object relations theory, the main relationship is the transference relationship. T h e analyst o r psychoanalytic therapist interprets all the material the patient brings as being to d o with the therapeutic relationship. A n y 'chance' remark, or 'ordinary' exchange - the 'hello' or ' g o o d b y e ' - is interpreted, or not engaged with except b y silence. A t the most rigid end o f the spectrum is the story o f a practitioner w h o said that she was pleased to have got her work d o w n to as little as three grunts per fifty minutes; and the analyst whose patient arrived having been in a car accident with his head bandaged which was not referred to at all. T h e s e experiences can be limiting, infuriating

frightening,

and disempowering and, as Jeffrey Masson (1988) writes in Against

Therapy, 'deflect a person from deep reflection o n the sources o f human misery'. Conversely, the silence and freedom from having to engage in any way can have a deepening and liberating effect. Marie Cardinale (1975) observes in The Words to Say It, ' T h a t the least important s y m p t o m had meaning - for example, during this period o f total silence, if I breathed a sigh, even a very little one, the doctor w o u l d say " Y e s ? . . . Y e s ? " as if to make m e understand that there was perhaps an opening there, at the precise m o m e n t when I had uttered the sigh'. Therapies that d o not observe an opening silence so that the patient can m o v e into their inner landscape directly without being deflected b y 'social' exchange, run the risk o f working only o n a superficial level. I f therapy b e c o m e s t o o 'chatty' it loses its professional edge and leaves the client feeling obliged, unable to get really cross or challenge or say what they really feel. Since the 1960s we have seen the growth o f humanistic, existential and transpersonal psychotherapeutic theories. All o f these are based o n a m o d e l that works largely in the present and assume an inherent m o v e towards wholeness. Here the relationship between therapist and client is o n e o f equality. Eugene G e n d l i n (1981) writes, ' T h e essence o f working with another person is to be present as a living being. A n d that is lucky, because if we had to be smart, or g o o d , or mature, or wise, then w e would probably be in trouble'. F o r the transpersonal psychotherapist the ultimate authority is the Self and it is the energy o f the Self that guides where the healing needs to take place, which may b e quite outside ideas o f healing presented b y the e g o . In Healing into Life and Death, Stephen L e v e n e (1989) writes about the ever present possibility for connecting to the energy we call transpersonal right u p to and b e y o n d the m o m e n t o f death. His question, 'where does the healing need to take place?', is an important question for transpersonal therapists because it removes the focus o f control from any social, medical, or therapist agenda for change and healing and allows for the Self to be honoured. In this way the

THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP

23

therapist b e c o m e s an ambassador for the soul. R e c o g n i t i o n o f the hidden language behind presenting s y m p t o m s , seen and dignified (rather than r e d u c e d ) as the artistry o f survival helps to create the golden thread that leads the patient back to re-find their sense o f self. W h e n this is shared with another, in the intimacy o f the exchange, in the privacy and freedom o f the consulting r o o m , the relationship m o v e s from its p r o fessional and personal enclosure, into something limitless. W h e n this is experienced b y and o w n e d b y a patient, they have begun their o w n relationship with the intimate, private and individual world o f spiritual c o n n e c t i o n . I f transpersonal psychotherapy can

b e the b r i d g e , then their o w n c h o i c e o f spiritual practice will take their d e v e l o p -

ment further across the bridge between the t w o worlds. Different again, yet in c o n t i n u u m , in therapies influenced b y Buddhist psychology, the therapist's o w n mindfulness and compassion are essential. T h e s e qualities enable something o f the ' g r o u n d o f b e i n g ' - the ultimate transpersonal state - to b e present in the therapy, as well as a full sense o f humanity. Buddhist psychology, unlike most Western p s y c h o l o g y , contains a vision o f c o m p l e t e healing. ( B u d d h a - h o o d , to be fully awakened), that goes far b e y o n d simply establishing a place in the world where o n e can satisfactorily function at work and within relationships. A therapist w h o shares this view will h o l d t w o levels o f understanding.

T h e first level is the conventional

understanding that recognizes that s o m e experiences, beliefs, feelings and thoughts cause less pain than others. A t this level we then try to exchange the painful for the less painful, the destructive with the constructive, neurosis with individuation. B y this means w e embrace fully the c o m p l e x i t y and richness o f our individual lives b y m o v i n g through fear. T h e second level is unique to the Buddhist and transpersonal

per-

spective. It recognizes that the attempt to constantly exchange ' b a d ' experiences for ' g o o d ' is ultimately unsuccessful because continually trying to keep suffering at bay is simply

impossible. T o end

suffering

w e must

relinquish

the

drive for

'self-

i m p r o v e m e n t ' and instead remain mindfully with our experience as it is. T h e therapist who holds b o t h these levels o f understanding supports the d e v e l o p m e n t o f a whole and healthy e g o (level o n e ) and also, when clinically appropriate, recognizes that e g o dissolution (final goal o f level t w o ) is the deeper solution. In practice this will mean not only being mindfully present within the session but also facilitating m e t h o d s (see Chapter 9 ) , that increase the presence o f the patient. T h e present m o m e n t is where life can be found, and if you don't arrive there, you miss your appointment w i t h life. You don't have to run any more. Breathing in w e say Ί have arrived'. Breathing out w e say Ί a m home'. (Hahn, 1 9 9 1 )

THE

VESSEL OF T H E THERAPEUTICRELATIONSHIP

If the therapeutic relationship is to serve as an initiatory process for the e g o it needs a vessel that will withstand the struggles and fragmentations o f personality and difficult transferences, will b e able to bear the chill winds o r suffocating cloaks o f the past, and

24

ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK

the fiery rages when the heat is on. T h i s vessel holds the potential for fantasy - h o w it might have been, h o w it could be; for illumination, change, for healing, for transformation and for the growth o f love; for the ever present possibility o f c o m i n g h o m e to o n e ' s self and recognizing it as such. A n image for the vessel is important to us as therapists because when the heat is on it also contains us as well as our clients. O n e image for this is T h e T ' i n g , the Chinese cooking pot ( / Ching hexagram 50) which invites us further into the imaginative process and tells us that ' N o t h i n g transforms things as m u c h as the T ' i n g ' . T h i s is because the process o f 'removal o f stagnating s t u f f - the old habits and c o m p l e x e s b y which we have survived but which n o w threaten or limit us - allows a space for a new sense o f self to emerge. It also suggests a transpersonal element, ' A l l that is visible must grow b e y o n d itself, extend into the realms o f the invisible'. H e r e we see links between the T ' i n g and the alchemical flask where processes o f change and transformation m o v e base metal into gold. T h e different stages o f the alchemical processes - calcinatio, solutio, coagulatio, sublimatio, morificatio, separatio and coniunctio, offer images o f the different processes within a long therapy that help both client and therapist stay with the process as a whole (Edinger 1985). T h e s e include the initial strangeness, even alienation, the fears, the old patterns; the times o f feeling stuck, trapped, or dissolved, lost, failing: wanting to give u p and leave, acting out, the trying out o f something new, feeling fragile, unprepared, the emergence o f different attitudes.

T h e Vessel as Guardian o f Boundaries W h e n men and w o m e n b e c o m e medical practitioners they adhere to a principle going back to Hippocrates 'first, d o n o harm'. T h e y are also influenced b y the image o f Aescelepius, the w o u n d e d healer whose o w n bleeding w o u n d keeps him connected to the nature o f woundedness, enabling h i m to offer healing to others and the Caduceus, carrying the two serpents o f healing and poison, opposites in dualism, ultimately to be united. Therapists also serve professional statements o f intent, a c o d e o f ethics and practice, which is built in to every professional training organization and can b e seen as one o f the guards to protect patients and therapists from harm. T h e / Ching, quoting Confucius, offers us an image for what happens when the contents o f the vessel are spilled and the work is spoiled. T h i s can be seen in therapeutic terms as a break in the therapeutic relationship due to the breaking o f boundaries, misuse o f p o w e r , or inappropriate behaviour b y therapists. Confucius says about the spilling and breaking o f the vessel 'Weak character coupled with honoured place, meagre knowledge with large plans, limited powers with heavy responsibility, will seldom escape disaster' ( H e x . 50 L i n e 4 commentary). Another guard c o m e s from what we bring o f ourselves to the therapeutic encounter. Being able to maintain appropriate 'inner' boundaries will b e dependent u p o n our ability to k n o w ourselves and acknowledge our o w n shadow. T h i s will include the use o f theory as a defence against the insecurity o f not knowing. I f therapists hold a rigid view about 'wellness' o r 'cure' they c o m e from a position o f having a defensive agenda rather than being open to where the patient might take them. I f w e view the process o f therapy as being that o f the emergence o f an unknown self we might liken the work to

THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP 25 that o f the midwife waiting u p o n the birth o f an the unborn child. Other images are o f the night watch, the witness, the guide.

Making Good Boundaries T h e therapeutic relationship is externally guarded b y standards o f professional training, b y adherence to a training b o d y with a c o d e o f ethics, b y the rules and structure o f therapy, and b y g o o d supervision. T h e consulting r o o m itself, the time and place o f appointments,

agreements

over m o n e y , the working contract in terms o f time,

negotiations over cancellations, holidays and endings are also external guards. Guardianship and structure create an edge, something to rub up against, to protest against as well as to b e held b y . U n c o n s c i o u s life so often emerges in the cracks and divisions created b y the agreed structure o f the professional work. T h e challenges to structure b y not turning u p , b y c o m i n g late, b y not paying, all b e c o m e an integral part o f the work and need to b e held b y the structure that is being challenged. T h e structure allows for the rebel to emerge: 'the p r o o f o f m y existence is m y resistance'; for the hungry needy child to wail at an i m p e n d i n g separation; for the neglected soul craving perfect care to be presented in non-payment o f fees: T f y o u really loved m e y o u w o u l d n ' t expect m e to pay'. A n d so often, the hidden agenda: T f I ' m late will y o u notice? will y o u punish me? will y o u allow m e to b e angry with y o u because o f your demands?' T h e therapeutic relationship is guarded internally b y the therapist's o n g o i n g selfregulatory systems o f listening to themselves, meditative and contemplative practice and b y drawing o n the relationships with teachers, elders, and the ancestors, the w i s d o m o f all those w h o have g o n e before us and whose teaching guides us. In practice this will include the therapist's o w n experience o f therapy and its integration into their daily life and also use o f discussion with colleagues and in supervision.

Finally

guardianship o f the vessel o f therapy c o m e s d o w n to our o w n integrity and honesty and the quality o f awareness and presence that we bring to the work. T h e s e are the stepping stones o f g o o d practice for b e c o m i n g a therapist.

The Vessel as Facilitating Environment F o r the therapeutic relationship to

flourish,

the vessel needs to b e what D . W .

W i n n i c o t t calls 'the facilitating environment'. It is a place where w e are held safe, protected, where past hurts and woundings are accepted and contained. W e need a place where, if needed, we may safely regress in order for early w o u n d s to b e witnessed by an other, the therapist, w h o can be alongside them, is not afraid o f them or sits in judgement o f them. In reconnecting safely with images and energies o f early life w e , as patient, may also begin being alongside our o w n w o u n d s , and k n o w that they are not the lethal, desperate, rejectable d e m o n s w e have believed them to b e , that in the process o f befriending them they b e c o m e less absolute, less d e m o n i c . R e c o g n i z i n g the need for holding - as i f the person in the r o o m were indeed a very small infant, taking the small faltering steps o f an infant learning to walk, talk, smile, is the business o f the relationship. T h e therapist's language, posture, tone o f voice all need to reflect this understanding o f the m o m e n t s when these aspects o f the patient are

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manifest. T h e vessel b e c o m e s a place to speak the unspeakable and b e believed, to be heard, a place to experiment, play, redress a balance. In this 'facilitating environment' we may experience the unspoken developmental process o f b e c o m i n g . T h r o u g h being seen and accepted we m o v e into being safe enough to grow into w h o we really are, and then are able to leave the therapeutic vessel o f relationship behind, because w e hold it in ourselves.

Creating the Vessel o f the Facilitating E n v i r o n m e n t Therapists draw u p o n their professional training and personal experience o f therapy and ordinary life when creating the facilitating environment. Before any relationship o f any kind can get under way, a comprehensive understanding o f the internal structures which dominate early patterns o f relating need to b e understood. T h e

training's

theoretical content helps to name the w o u n d s which underlie suffering involved in relationship, and offers an understanding o f the nature o f these w o u n d s in order to create the continuity o f being needed for healing. A person w h o has experienced a highly critical early life, w h o sees their life always through the lens o f the criticizing other and carries the w o u n d o f the crushed criticized child will need an experience o f an unconditional environment in order to b e safe enough to relax. Transference invitations for the therapist to e m b o d y the critical other will need to b e recognized so that this t o o can be named and the patient begin to understand their involvement in maintaining the dynamic o f criticism. In this way therapists bring into the vessel what Petruska Clarkson (1995) refers to as the 'developmentally needed relationship'. Winnicott's transitional object - the infant's first creative act o f individuality and separation - may emerge within the relationship b y using the therapist's voice, their sayings, or actual objects in the therapist's r o o m that are taken into the patient's psyche and pondered o n between sessions. M y o w n experience o f this came when I became aware o f carrying the image o f the coloured pencils that stood in a jar o n the table between the analyst and myself. A t first I just knew that I liked them, and that they carried a certain energy. O n e day as I sat in the r o o m and during a fairly long silence (something quite painful for m e which I then associated with disapproval) I looked at the pencils and realized, excitingly, that they were for m y o w n use. I c o u l d , if I wished, take hold o f them and draw something. I made a transition from the position o f the frozen-out disapproved o f child waiting to be told o f f to an act o f spontaneous freedom. S o o n after this time I began painting again in m y o w n time after an absence o f five years. Patients need to k n o w their therapist is there for them, in that r o o m at the appointed hour, regularly in the same rhythm and continuum as if at their birth. Therapists stand in for the g o o d enough other not experienced in early life. T h e experience o f a containing other c o m e s either through individual therapy (or through another form o f relationship), and helps develop the ability to b e able to hold the thread for another and rejoice in their unfoldment. A n example o f the effect o f simply being there every week in therapy was a y o u n g man w h o came to see m e about his cleaning phobia. H e had to get u p in the night to clean the bath several times. A l s o , an issue for h i m was not knowing whether he wanted

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27

a homosexual or heterosexual relationship. H e had married y o u n g ' o n automatic', and worked in design. W h e n he arrived for his first session he was wearing a l e m o n cat suit and ballet shoes. H e had long flowing hair. H e was extremely nervous and m o v e d a lot as if trying to avoid being trapped, or s o m e kind o f target. I felt a bit like an attacker but had n o way o f speaking o f this to h i m at first. H e settled d o w n into ' b e c o m i n g ' after we had our first important c o n n e c t i o n . I had asked h i m to draw the image o f the c o r n bin he referred to a lot. A s he drew the crayon over the paper he said ' o h , I k n o w , it's all this stuff here inside m e I ' m afraid o f isn't it?' O u r eyes met, and in the silence w e shared his m o v e m e n t into being alongside his o w n inner reality, his o w n pain, with his friend the crayon as the initiator. Part o f the story he brought was being abused b y a scoutmaster over a period o f six years. H e carried shame and guilt from that time, fear o f attack from others to w h o m he might get close. H e felt he had taken flight into an early marriage to hide away from his male abuser. W e w o r k e d to put together the scattered jigsaw puzzle o f his early life. H e wrote, brought in photographs, w e checked dates b y tracing people, the clothes he was wearing at the time, p o p music in the charts, his parents' various m o v e s , his father's death. A t the e n d o f the eighteen months we worked together, the realization was that the abuse had in fact taken place over a period o f summer c a m p and during six weeks o f o n e particular summer. But the space it took u p in his psyche was m u c h vaster and dominant. H i s relief at this reality was p r o f o u n d , as was the c h o i c e he n o w felt he had about his sexuality.

The Vessel as Transformational Space F o r John W e i w o o d (1994) emotions begin to flow as b l o o d shed b y the e g o , whenever the shell around the heart is punctured. O u r suffering, maintained b y the defences, our earliest protections, o p e n s to give access to levels o f feeling and struggle that have hitherto been masked b y attitudes, behaviours or s y m p t o m s . Symbolically these break us o p e n in order to have the possibility for spaciousness around the heart. T h e return to the heart, to an experience o f self that has always been present can feel like a transformation. T h i s transformation is to d o with the ordinary, to c o m i n g h o m e to w h o we really are, and part o f this may b e the potential to c o n n e c t to something b e y o n d the everyday. T h r o u g h o u t his work A b r a h a m M a s l o w writes about making the growth choice towards self actualization. 'In letting g o , all that is sacrificed is the attachment to the situation'. Christopher Bollas (1989) speaks o f the transformational ' o b j e c t ' , as an existential rather than representational knowing. T h a t is, mother, or whoever was mother, is experienced as a continual process o f transformation, before she is perceived as a provider o f nourishment and frustration. It is as if the infant has at her core the ability and yearning for transformation that is brought into being b y relationship.

Making Space for Transformational Potential T h e way therapists m o v e through the space o f the vessel, mirroring the self, mirroring the everyday being, that the person is m o r e than the s u m o f the many parts, or many

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symptoms, holds the potential for awakening that transformational object that as adults we search and yearn for. T h i s way holds o p e n possibilities for meaning that are the patient's o w n meaning, to which they make their o w n connection. A Transpersonal Psychotherapist has within their theory and practice the intention o f including and m o v i n g b e y o n d the limits o f the e g o boundaries into the spaces within that allow for reflection u p o n the experience and the boundlessness o f the numinous. T h i s may b e a soulful experience o f being held in the dark moisture o f the depths o f suffering and finding something in that darkness that calls to us o f its essence, its meaning. It may be in the rising o f the spirit, something I experienced early o n after an analytic session when I found myself driving away from the session listening intently to a Puccini aria I knew well but it was as if I had never heard it so vividly. It seemed to enter into m y being so that I and it were one. I had to stop the car o n the side o f the road and just listen. T h e experience lasted perhaps four minutes. I spoke o f it the following week in therapy and m y experience lived again, between us. Returning to the image presented b y the I Ching, the vessel may b e experienced as having 'golden handles and being carried'. Perhaps this suggests that when the therapeutic vessel feels m o r e portable, there is a sense o f it being internalized within the patient, b e c o m i n g the patient's o w n safe place for alignment with the Self and with the presence o f the therapist internalized as part o f their o w n compassionate observer. In the hexagram's last line it mentions jade, the most durable substance which has a beautiful colour and lustre. T h i s could b e likened to an experience o f that which is most precious, the jewel, the pearl o f great price, that the transformational space o f the vessel reveals when it has completed its work.

What do we Bring to the Vessel of Ourselves? T h e therapeutic vessel created by each encounter will be unique. It will b e forged b y what the therapist brings to it - from training, from supervision, their o w n therapy and from all the aspects o f life as human beings; and b y what each patient brings into it, from their o w n history, life drama, personality, self and unconscious. H e r e are s o m e o f the qualities and capacities that I think are important for a therapist to develop, and which assist in the process o f forging the vessel o f relationship: Respect for the outer and inner life o f the individual, in whatever way this is presented. T h e seed o f the individual may throw up peculiar fruits as its growth twists and turns around its environmental experience. Everything that happens to us, and everything that is communicated within the therapeutic vessel, offers vital information about the person. Respecting the entire canvas o f a life means that we are o p e n to see m o r e than the sum o f the parts. T h i s may contribute to the process o f stepping from being identified only b y the w o u n d . Belief. O u r patients need us to believe them, that w e are taking their inner world and feelings, their stories seriously, even when their stories inspire disbelief. In m y twenty years' experience as a practising therapist I have heard things that w o u l d not b e believed in any novel or horror movie. T h e process o f standing aside helps us to p o n d e r reflectively o n ' w h o s e voice is this?'; ' w h o s e story is this?'; 'where is this c o m i n g from?';

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29

'what part o f the person is telling m e this?'. W e stand in the position o f supporting advocate, described b y Alice Miller as e m p o w e r i n g the individual to b e heard in their o w n right and thus to be able to hear themselves. O u r task is to listen fully and allow the fabric o f the w h o l e to b e manifest. O n c e w e can bear it and carry the whole, there is m o r e likelihood o u r patients will b e able to find a place where they can be in relationship with their o w n story. An open, non-judgemental approach. O u r questions are o p e n questions such as: 'what is it like? H o w d o e s that feel?' Even when w e think w e k n o w the answers, they will b e our therapist's answers, not those o f our patient. O n c e s o m e o n e told m e he had been to R o m e for the weekend and m y images were o f art and sculpture. I waited for the person to tell m e about it as the atmosphere got colder: ' m y brother was murdered there in 1963'. Empathie resonance. A s therapists w e are o n the side o f the patient. Empathie resonance helps to establish trust in the telling o f the story and in the therapeutic process itself. O n l y when there is trust is the space wide enough for us to challenge. W e need to b e able to stand u p to the dark forces as they manifest through our patients and w e can only d o this if w e have established an empathie resonance first. Statements such as 'It is not in the best interests o f this work for m e to b e bullied b y your sour old man subpersonality' w o u l d seem bleak without the context o f established empathy. D e v e l o p i n g empathy is not s o m e loose m i n d e d simplistic 'being there for y o u ' or ' c o m i n g from a caring place'. It is in parallel with the process o f keeping o n e ' s heart o p e n to another as in true, rather than 'idiot' compassion. Daring. D o w e ask regularly: ' A m I prepared to be surprised b y this person, b y the journey w e will make together? A m I prepared to be stretched, to g o into dark places, to g o where this person will take m e ? ' W h a t is it that draws us into accepting s o m e o n e into the process o f therapy, b e y o n d the obvious first understanding? Daring can lead to 'mistakes', from w h i c h w e learn, and also to stretch ourselves into wider understandings. Curiosity and passion. It helps if w e are genuinely curious about people and their stories. W i t h o u t curiosity w e may b e c o m e complacent, b o u n d b y theory and pathology, pathologizing our patients as 'narcissist', 'borderline', 'passive/aggressive', instead o f p e o p l e struggling with life. T h i s means that w e fail to liberate our imagination or unconscious in the quality or content o f our responses. W e need to marvel at the lengths p e o p l e have to g o to manage and to c o m m u n i c a t e their suffering, the diversions p e o p l e create for fear o f a worse fate. A sense o f w o n d e r at the colour o f the human drama frees us from o l d judgements. It can help us to be m o r e ready to develop compassion for human life. Foolishness. A r e w e prepared to appear an idiot w h o takes time to understand? T o offer responses such as Ί d o n ' t quite understand'. O r , 'are y o u saying . . . ? ' and ' d o y o u mean . . . ? ' ' H a v e I got this right? T e l l m e again. I ' m sorry if I have forgotten that.' O u r ability not to k n o w and allow the response from the patient helps to draw us into a deeper level o f c o m m u n i c a t i o n . W e are equal, w e can check things out, get things w r o n g , make a 'mistake' and b e alongside it with our patient in relationship.

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Humility. Leaving ourselves o n one side and yet bringing ourselves into the r o o m as and when appropriate is an art we learn from experience; to never k n o w better, and to never k n o w first and to k n o w when we think we know. Attention and the act of faith. T h i s emerges from experience, from sticking with difficult times, and from really listening to oneself and one's patient. T h i s particular 'act o f faith' is nothing to d o with religion or psychological theory in itself, but emerges organically from our relationship with the work inside the vessel. It is attained b y devotion to the process o f the work itself. It is not lazily following a belief handed d o w n by s o m e o n e else, but is related to the act o f mindful attention to the processes that are unfolding and speaking o f them from that place. In 'Slouching T o w a r d Bethlehem' (1982), D r Nina Coltart writes o f the time in a therapy when darkness begins to close in, 'but it is a darkness having that special quality o f the unknown which is m o v i n g towards being k n o w n ' . She writes that it is possible 'in fifth gear, when the act o f faith is most fully deployed, when our listening ear seems to be directly connected with our tongue and speech', to speak out forcefully as advocate o f the life trying to b e born. T h e D y n a m i c s o f the Vessel N o - o n e is neutral in the meeting with another. Humans d o not live in a vacuum, we are all affected b y the presence o f another person. Contents o f the shadow get projected o n t o others and o n t o us as we too project o n t o others also. T h e quality o f a person may remind us o f s o m e o n e else, may stir in us feelings we d o not understand. T h e s e conscious and unconscious aspects, that emerge when we sit as therapists in the forging vessel o f the relationship, are o f extreme value. T h e y help us to understand the story o f the patient's emotional life, both in terms o f his relationship with others and with himself. A n d w e , as therapists, are drawn into this because o f the intimacy o f the space, and because frequently there are w o u n d s to inter and intra relationships that need healing. In outlining the principles o f transference and counter-transference, the way they relate together, we begin to have a working understanding o f the multifaceted, mysterious and complex ideas that make the dynamics within the vessel. T h e Contribution o f O b j e c t Relations T h e o r y T o understand this inner world we need to return to our first relationship with mother or w h o was mother for us. O p i n i o n is divided over to what extent the infant's identity is fused with mother and to what extent signs o f individuality are immediately present. H o w e v e r , what does seem true is that not only is the infant utterly reliant o n her mother but that also the mother's internal and external world impact on the infant's experience and to that extent, what mother experiences so does her baby. Initially the baby experiences this world as either 'all g o o d ' (warm, feeding, held, loved) or 'all b a d ' (hungry, c o l d , frightened, angry, lonely). T h i s is simply because the baby's m e m o r y is growing and until it is more developed she lives in the eternal m o m e n t . D u r i n g this early phase her o w n needs are naturally paramount and she relates to her mother as an object that either serves or frustrates these needs. Object relations theory describes this as the mother being experienced as a part object. T h a t is, she is an entity that the baby

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31

is attracted to and w h i c h (sometimes) satisfies the baby's needs. W h e n needs are satisfied mother is a good object and when they are not she is a bad object. Furthermore, these experiences o f mother m o v e from being external objects to internal objects as the baby internalizes them as part o f her inner w o r l d , her imagination, from where they may either c o m f o r t her or scare her (because they carry her o w n projected rage). H e n c e we can say a good internal object or a bad or persecutory internal object. A s time goes o n (Melanie Klein thinks b y about the sixth m o n t h , W i n n i c o t t later and perhaps not even until adulthood), if the infant's frustrated needs and resulting anger have been accepted without punishment o r fear she will c o m e to realize that the g o o d mother w h o cuddles, cradles, feeds and loves is also the bad mother w h o is absent, c o l d , hurtful and frightening and that this is a person separate from herself. T h i s is a difficult time for the baby because mother must n o w b e c o m e a whole object, * person separate from the baby and the baby's control, towards w h o m ambivalent feelings o f love and hate are felt. Bringing these t w o together happens when gradually the baby feels guilty and sad, fearful o f hurting her mother and losing mother's love, and so makes reparation in order to be comforted; she is still loved and her anger has d o n e n o harm. W i n n i c o t t calls this the stage of concern (1979). H o w e v e r , sometimes this process goes w r o n g or is damaged because the infant does not feel securely attached to her mother. T h e reasons for this may b e either an emotional p r o b l e m , perhaps a post-natal depression or s o m e external danger that threatens b o t h mother and her child. W h e n this o c c u r s it is m o r e difficult for the infant to express her rage and make reparation when her needs are frustrated or unmet, perhaps in the pre-verbal and early belief that the expression o f anger and protest will further

distance a mother she is already unsure of. Left with these painful and

frightening emotions, with n o way to name, understand or manage them, she may resort to the primitive defence o f splitting whereby o n e part o f her experience is retained and identified with and another part is denied and projected o n t o her mother or s o m e o n e or something else in her environment. H e r e there are a number o f possibilities. T h e child may either project and retain either the g o o d or bad parts o f her experience, each u n c o n s c i o u s c h o i c e leading to a lifetime o f consequences. In the next section w e will see h o w these choices have m o r e or less constant patterns and h o w o n c e identified, they may be used to help the patient, o n c e the child, to understand

the

c h o i c e their child self made and may be make another one. D r A n t h o n y R y l e ' s cognitive reappraisal o f the Object Relations S c h o o l Theorists, in particular O g d e n , Fairbairn and K o h u t , has helped m e to m o v e from dense and c o m p l e x theory, dominated b y malevolent and beneficent objects, namely breasts and penises in various stages o f unwanted tumescence, into charting clearly the language o f the t w o - w a y process that the term object relating implies. T h i s two-way process is named b y R y l e as 'reciprocal role p r o c e d u r e ' , and is seen as a learned response to, and activity for, survival (Ryle 1995). R o l e procedures are based u p o n our early management o f emotional pain and are a learned attempt to survive what at the time are intolerable feelings. T h e y help to name both the damaged and damage maintaining aspects o f the core w o u n d and their reciprocal nature. T h u s , if our early experience is o f a rejecting other, w e will carry the w o u n d o f the rejected inner child and perhaps feel unworthy and useless. W e will also carry the image and experience o f a rejecting other.

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In relationships the rejected aspect will anticipate and expect the rejecting other because o f the unhealed w o u n d . T h i s may be played out either in the rejection o f oneself or o f unconsciously anticipating and seeking others w h o are actually rejecting and so confirm the core w o u n d . T h e m o r e severe early life, the m o r e restricting are the roles learned, the less secure the ego structure, the m o r e limited space for experience o f self, and the m o r e extreme behaviours are needed to survive and call for help. ' R o l e ' can be described in Transpersonal psychotherapy in terms o f sub-personality - the symbolic representations o f the 'demanding j u d g e ' to the 'crushed little girl'. Until recognized, dialogued with, and their position revised and allowed to g r o w and change, the learned 'roles', the sub-personalities, limit our experience o f relationship. Understanding h o w patients are invited into transference because o f their learned role experience, means that therapists are freed to 'use' the human relationship as the modelling clay for awareness, change, and frequently, transformation. T h i s is i m p o r tant for every relationship encounter, and particularly important in patients whose early life has been emotionally destructive. W h e n w e enter therapy, naturally w e bring these early infant and child experiences with us and usually they are unconscious. A s contents o f the shadow they are projected into the relationship with the therapist and so the therapist is experienced in the same way as the parents were. I remember believing that m y analysts were either not understanding m e or that having understood, they were disapproving. T h e s e very painful feelings were actually being transferred from m y experience o f m y parents w h o I had c o m e to feel were disinterested and critical. W h e n this occurs it is called transference, the unconscious transference o f earlier experience into the

present

relationship with the therapist so that our o w n emotional history appears repeated. In this way the abandoned, abused or maltreated child in the adult may be re-experienced in the vessel o f the therapy in relationship to the imagined person o f the therapist. A n important variation on this is called projective identification. T h i s is experienced when the therapist is 'invited' to carry the patient's own feelings that she has been unable to tolerate consciously and thus they have been denied, repressed and then projected. T h e s e may include rage, hatred, disintegration or fragmentation and so therapists find themselves embodying, actually feeling, something painful, terrifying o r very fragile, that belongs to the patient but which the patient is not conscious of. T h i s process may b e actually felt through the b o d y in the form o f blanking off, intense drowsiness, nausea, or via the senses, such as smell, feel or sound. T h e process may also b e carried through a prevailing image the therapist is unable to make sense of, an attacker for instance, a w o o d e n repetitive toy, a screaming infant. F r o m the patient's perspective, perceiving what is unacceptable in themselves in their therapist provides a means to control it and in this way the e g o defends itself against that which is dreaded. In the example above, if in fact it was m y o w n unconscious disinterest

and

disapproval o f myself, perhaps internalized from m y parents, then the therapist may well have felt those qualities in himself and I, feeling his disinterest and disapproval, could b e tempted to leave. H o w e v e r , in leaving the therapist I would b e repeating a defensive closure and the feelings, being m y o w n , would c o m e with m e . F r o m the

THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP 33 therapist's perspective it is important to allow such manifestations (which can appear quite magical) to b e p o n d e r e d o n before speaking o f them to the patient, if at all. Supervision, reading and o n e ' s o w n process o f digestion are all vital before such presentations can b e shared in a way that is useful and allow for integration in the work.

Table 2.1 Patterns of care that can dominate our relationships until we revise them What we are left feeling inside (core wound)

Ways we cope (survival)

Absent: Rejecting Abandoning

Rejected Abandoned

Placating Parental child (look after others)

Conditional: Judging Belittling Demanding

Judged Humiliated Crushed

Striving Hypervigilant Admired-or-rubbished split

Too tight: Overcontrolling Fused dependency

Restricted Fearful

Avoiding or rebelling Flight into fantasy/wrapped in bliss

Fearful Fragile Left 'Nowhere world'

Avoiding Placating Depression 'False self

Fearful Hated

'Magical guilt' Self-sabotage

Neglected Hurt Angry Fragmented

Cannot take care Mood swings Feel in bits Self-neglect

Abused Hurt Rage unexpressed

Victim/bully swings Hits out to self or others Fantasy of 'perfect care'

Loveable Responsive Secure Cared for

Good enough Sense of self Trusting Loving Healthy

The way we experienced early care

Too loose: Anxious Depressed Abandoning

Envious Neglecting: Physical Emotional Emotional Mental Abusive: Violent

Good enough: Not 'too good' Not 'too bad' Loving Caring

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ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK

Counter-transference A s is apparent from above, the therapist must feel something t o o and frequently will have powerful emotional responses. T h i s is called counter-transference. T h e r e may b e two sources for these. T h e first includes the human responses to some element o f the patient's story, perhaps empathy or anger. M o r e profoundly w e have also seen above that counter-transference feelings may b e the registering o f projective identification. T h e s e c o m e via the unconscious and are often felt in our b o d y . T h e y are crucial sources o f information that enable us to understand something o f our patient's inner world and the emotional forces that have made it. W i n n i c o t t says o f this: 'the analyst does not waste the valuable material that comes in terms o f the emotional relationship between patient and analyst. Here, in the unconscious transference appear samples o f the personal pattern o f the patient's emotional life or psychic reality' (1965 p . 117). Often this category o f experience is frightening to the therapist w h o is made anxious, feeling perhaps intense destructive feelings towards a patient she believes she should care for. I f she can step back from a personal identification with these feelings she may well discover that she is in fact picking up the patient's o w n destructiveness or a destructiveness directed towards the patient at an earlier phase in their life. T h e second source is what the therapist herself brings and which the patient touches or constellates, bringing material to the surface that is the therapist's alone. W h a t is essential here is the therapist's ability to distinguish what belongs to her and what belongs to the patient. It is for this reason that deep and prolonged personal therapy is an essential requirement o f any g o o d psychotherapeutic training. A simple check-list for these counter-transference experiences is as follows: •

T n what way is what I am feeling to d o with m y patient?'

•

'Can I identify myself at o n e end o f their reciprocal role?'

•

'Is what I feel their anger, their pain?'

•

' A m I feeling confused because m y patient is confused but unable to name it and thus d o those feelings belong to h i m / h e r ? '

Check out these questions with what you know o f the patient's material, their history and what has been happening in the sessions: •

H o w m u c h o f what I am feeling actually belongs to me, to m y material, m y unconscious?

• •

A m I identifying with m y patient? A m I tired, t o o close to the material being presented?

U s e supervision to g o on checking these things. Check the feeling quality o f thoughts we have about patients between sessions. M o s t importantly, check those feelings y o u have when y o u see their name in the diary or just before they are due to c o m e for a session. A r e you pleased, excited, anxious, afraid, does your heart sink? All these feelings offer information about the patient's inner world and its impact u p o n us and the vessel. Also, we as therapists need to understand our o w n learned 'reciprocal role p r o c e dures' and b e mindful o f them, as well as being aware o f those brought b y the patient. T h e clarity o f this cognitive reappraisal is extremely helpful for both understanding the

THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP 35 m o r e c o m p l e x and hidden aspects o f potential transference and

counter-transference.

It also m o d e l s a m o r e democratic, collaborative approach, inviting the patient to be observer to their o w n processes, and to be mindful o f their charge. K n o w i n g which roles are likely to b e enacted in a therapy helps us to meet them with all our understanding and compassion rather than b e lost within them. T h e chart ( T a b l e 2.1) helps to outline s o m e o f the ways in which these roles may b e enacted. It is intended as a guide only. Each therapy will reveal different language for those 'roles' and feelings which have been absorbed within o n e life.

DIFFICULT TRANSFERENCES M o s t o f us naturally prefer a nice light transference where there is sufficient Eros to make the therapeutic alliance a pleasurable and rewarding experience. H o w e v e r , this does not always happen and then we have difficult transferences. Negative Transference Strong feelings o f all kinds are part o f therapy and experienced b y both patient and therapist. T h e y may include confusion, sleepiness, fear, feeling lost, stuck, seduction, as well as active dislike, disdain, rage, anger, contempt. T h e s e negative feelings are brought into the vessel to b e dared, spoken o f and for the patient to begin a relationship with what has been a negative presence within their psyche. I f a negative transference goes o n for a long time and seems unspeakable, it can feel very heavy, suffocating, even maddening. It can bring the work to a standstill, especially if the negative feelings transferred c o m e from a time which is pre-verbal. T h e work demands a two-way process - o f sitting it out, making sure our responses maintain openness and acceptance for the process regardless o f what we are being made to feel; and really understanding what is behind the negativity. T h e angry infant may also b e the hurt infant. S o m e o n e w h o has been constantly disliked may invite the therapist into that arena to also experience it. M a n y new therapists take a negative transference personally and even experienced therapists get thrown when accused or made to feel bad. All o f us need to use supervision as a 'debriefing' and sounding board. Sometimes, negative transference gets d u m p e d back o n t o the patient in a punishing way, c o m p o u n d i n g the p r o b l e m s . T h e process needs proper digestion as a whole. T h e r e are always t w o p e o p l e in the r o o m . T h e reciprocal role chart o n page 33 helps us understand the two-way process involved in transference/counter-transference.

If w e are receiving a bullying

note from a patient, s o m e w h e r e in there is a bullied other - usually the child. T h e therapist might carry the feeling o f the bullied child for a while, while the patient gets the energy o f the bully into the r o o m . A t s o m e point b o t h aspects will need to be understood as b e l o n g i n g inextricably to each other so that they may b e disentangled, and a third way envisioned and practised. The Erotic Transference Eros brings the soul into immediate contact with another, eliminating the distance between subject and object. T h i s allows for the o p e n i n g flow o f energy between t w o

36

ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK

souls. Eros is also a 'mighty D e m o n ' (Stein 1973) and the danger is o f falling into a destructive compulsiveness. In therapy this paradox prevails. T h e experience o f 'falling in l o v e ' with the therapist ideally offers the opportunity to experience the nature o f one's o w n Eros, the capacity o f one's ability to love another and to have one's love received. T h i s can b e the coniunctio, the inner marriage o f opposites that begins to end the tyranny o f duality and polarization within the psyche. A

transpersonal

therapist needs to be mindful o f the p o w e r o f this experience and to receive it tenderly, allowing its faltering steps as well as its mighty rush, and to b e mindful o f the desire e m b e d d e d within the theory itself, o f the ultimate human relationship with the Beloved. If Eros has claimed a m o r e fixated, sexualized grip u p o n the person, this grip will be felt also b y the therapist. T h e sexual temperature will rise, narrowing the thinking process, pull at all the senses, and feel extremely uncomfortable. T h e patient may begin to dress provocatively, speak explicitly about their sexual needs and dreams, act in sexually suggestive ways, sitting with legs apart, rubbing their hands over their b o d y or mouth, narrowing their eyes, or actually make a pass at the therapist. It is challenging to work with. O n e does not want to b e rejecting o f the energy that is being awakened and o n e does not want to act u p o n it. Handling an erotic transference takes skill, patience and the ability to stand in a firm and compassionate place.

Hatred in the Transference Hatred, the co-partner with love, can also emerge head o n , but, m o r e often is often hard to recognize, because it is well hidden, and c o m e s disguised as everything but. It surprised m e o n e day when working with a very mild, pleasing y o u n g w o m a n with a soft quiet little voice w h o sat very still and looked like a startled rabbit at any intervention. I found myself reducing m y interaction with her to very little, keeping careful note o f m y tone o f voice, lest anything too direct shatter her - like walking o n eggshells. O n e day, when this little pantomime o f n u m b i n g counter-transference was about to send m e o f f to sleep I caught a look. It was electrifying. It was a look from the corner o f her eye and it was as if a great sea monster from the b o t t o m o f the ocean had stretched out its claw, then winged it in again, quick. I woke u p in sheer terror. T h e m o m e n t hung between us menacingly. I decided to plunge in - months o f sitting d r o w n i n g in bad feeling and reducing the energy o f the vessel to a turgid nothing had had their day. 'What was that?' I asked. She looked startled. ' D i d y o u just give m e a filthy look?' She looked horrified, shaking her head. I continued o n , determined to let this sea monster k n o w I had seen it. 'Just out o f the corner o f your eye - it was as if s o m e part o f you was very, very angry indeed. Hating this w h o l e process o f sitting with m e in this r o o m . ' She looked very frightened. A bit later I said 'It wouldn't b e surprising w o u l d it, if y o u did feel hateful towards being vulnerable. Y o u ' v e often said h o w y o u hate your depression for what it has exposed y o u to, and being here reminds you o f it, all the time. But it's very hard for y o u to bear it.' In speaking o f this, I felt like a sadist to her masochist. She began a series o f very angry dreams where small people were being run d o w n b y horses; taunted b y monsters; in threat o f being annihilated b y a huge ball rolling d o w n a hill. W e were able to speak

THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP 37 truly about the terrors o f her early teasing and humiliation. She had turned inwardly to a passive grandiose suffering to gain any sense o f self. Hatred o f self and others and the paradoxical gratification through illness maintained her depression with which n o - o n e c o u l d help her.

W o r k i n g with the Transference and

Counter-transference

T h e therapist's task is to: (a) recognize and take the heat and the c o l d o f these three-way processes; ( b ) to e m b o d y the unspoken core w o u n d s in the counter-transference and in projective identification; and ( c ) to offer the process o f 'usage' o f self as O b j e c t ' - allowing the 'as i f experience in order for the process o f w o u n d reparation to e g o identity to begin, and the wider potential space for experience o f selfhood to be b o r n . ' W h e n there is a shift from the use o f others to perpetuate the false self to the use o f others to discover real self the individual has begun the journey h o m e ' (Johnson 1994). Transference and counter-transference

feelings may b e immediate, or they may

need time to build u p in the forging vessel. T h e y need to b e referred to naturally, as part o f the c o n t i n u u m o f the work, not aggressively such as Ί can see y o u ' r e cutting o f f from m e today as i f I were your father'. Rather, w e note and digest the feeling in the r o o m and those w e are receiving from the patient. W e allow the felt sense o f these experiences to inform us and guide our tone and timing. W e might say, 'when y o u spoke just n o w I had a sense that y o u were scared - something about the way y o u held your breath. Can y o u say m o r e about this?' In following the feeling d o w n we may well c o m e into contact with father and our part in offering it a h o o k . Alternatively, we can ask: Ί w o n d e r e d just then if y o u found m y silence a bit like your father's coldness y o u ' v e told m e about.' U s e o f transference understanding helps loosen the grip o f old 'roles' and widen the space for self. F o r Wilfred B i o n (1965), when a clinician puts a new idea to a patient based u p o n the way h e / s h e feels usage has been made, the idea, or mental object may o p e n inner spaces for experiencing and knowing. F o r example, ' w h e n w e last spoke o f m y o w n illness it made y o u feel afraid, a bit like the abandonment you felt when your mother was ill, but today y o u seem to experience it as a kind o f sharing.'

Actively Naming Transference W e may b e active in working with roles as e m b o d i e d in the transference, b y using images, diagrams, drawings, that name the roles as subpersonalities and allows for an observer self to b e created. O n e y o u n g man, w h o had learned to charm and please to the point o f obliterating himself seemed to reach a standstill in therapy, and I felt as i f I was in the place o f the obliterating 'other'. W e worked with a pile o f saucers to try and experience what he was feeling. W h e n asked to c h o o s e an object to represent himself he

38 ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK chose a very small egg. W h e n asked to show where he felt he was right n o w , he slowly, placed one saucer after another over this tiny egg and burst into uncontrollable tears. H e saw, immediately, h o w this feeling originated in his family where he had felt overwhelmed to the point o f being snuffed out. H e had been fighting the p o w e r o f w o m e n ever since, falling into deep withdrawals and then secretly planning revenge. T h e work following the saucer experience took the form o f vivid painting o f his rage and terror o f being possessed - red vaginas with huge teeth that he had to knock out with his violence. T h e active work in making these 'roles' explicit helped to give a language to what had been impossible, to clear the space between us for him to find himself. What we bring to the vessel o f ourselves - our ideas about what kind o f therapist we are, what we are working for and in what light and dark we are holding the person before us is already counter-transference. In this way, as James Hillman writes in The Myth of Analysis, the therapist starts from 'a well conceived position given to him b y the daimon o f his desire both to bring the health o f awareness, imagination and beauty to life in the soul and to constellate with his psyche the Eros o f the other. It is n o longer the analyst upon w h o m projections are transferred, rather, through the (therapist) the intentions o f the coniunctio myth are transferred upon the (patient) w h o counters these effects from the start' (1972, p . 107). T w o particular transferences, from those w h o suffer borderline and narcissistic wounds, test this daimon to the full.

Borderline and Narcissistic Presentations In these cases n o relationship is possible until the therapist understands h o w to respond to and work with the limitations posed b y the polarization o f ' g o o d ' and 'bad'. T h e patient, as a compensation for neglect or abuse, may have created internally a fantasy o f perfect care, and an idealization o f others w h o are in a caring position. T h i s projection is powerful and may invite therapists to play saviour, or fall for being special, adored and admired. H o w e v e r , it only takes o n e small disagreement or perceived slight for the patient to experience the therapy as abusive (the opposite pole), and the roller coaster o f swings from one extreme to the other has begun. W h i l e these swings may be clear and able to be named, the more difficult counter-transference confusion, helplessness, persecution, indeterminate

feelings o f

rage, and a strong desire to

abandon the therapy and the patient are harder to handle and need a sound clinical understanding and supervision. Healing begins to take place when the swings are able to be tolerated within the therapeutic relationship and they b e c o m e less dominating and all consuming.

Types of Narcissistic Transference K o h u t (1977) has described three levels o f narcissistic wounding that are reflected in three levels o f transference relationship and J o c o b y (1989) has some valuable therapeutic insights to add.

THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP 39 The Merging Transference In this most severe expression o f the w o u n d we merge our sense o f self with that o f an idealized significant other. T y p i c a l l y this happens in a relationship with s o m e o n e w h o m we revere and w e then bathe in the light that our idealization bestows u p o n them. W e think o f the other as my beautiful partner or my brilliant therapist and in so d o i n g defend ourselves from the underlying anxieties about our o w n denied feelings o f worthlessness. In this relationship the other is only there to serve us and we feel entitled to use them as an object for our needs. W h e n , as therapist w e resist this, narcissistic rage ensues and from being idealized we are scorned and denigrated. Being therapist with such a person leaves us feeling that we are only valued for what w e give and should we fail in any way that we are then valueless; all feelings that the narcissistically w o u n d e d patient unconsciously feels about themselves. Because o f this it is extremely difficult to form a transference relationship and it is this that forms the greatest barrier to a successful o u t c o m e within the therapy. O p i n i o n s are divided as to whether a successful therapy is even possible. W h i l e this is the w o u n d ' s most profound presentation, those o f us with w o u n d s o f a similar but lesser degree may be aware o f the presence o f this within us and at times o f stress may regress back to this level.

The Twinship Transference In this intermediary w o u n d w e recognize that we and the other are separate but unconsciously assume that we and they are m o r e or less identical. Here it is the alter ego w h o is idealized and this w o u n d is most often seen in adolescent p s y c h o l o g y that yearns for and believes in 'soul mates' where there is a fantasy o f joining with a perfect other. I r e m e m b e r s o m e years ago being astonished b y a portrait o f a spiritual teacher drawn b y o n e o f his students. T h e portrait was obviously o f the teacher but also uncannily o f the student as well. T h e student had drawn her experience o f the teacher as her twin, or perhaps m o r e seriously, as o n e merged identity. T h i s w o u n d defends against further separation which is felt as a threat. H o w e v e r , therapeutic work is appropriate and separation anxiety in therapy reveals itself as the patient identifying with the therapist and o f being unable to tolerate differences between them. Perhaps the immature desire to b e c o m e a therapist t o o , often a phase o f the work, c o m e s from this w o u n d .

The Mirror Transference T h i s is the most mature expression because it is directed at b e c o m i n g a separate self. H e r e the other is used to reflect back recognition o f accomplishments. In itself this is not unhealthy since w e all c o m e to k n o w ourselves through reflection in another. H o w e v e r , here what the therapist is invited to mirror back is not the real self which is based o n reality but the false self and so mirroring this w o u l d b e to fall into collusion with a defensive structure. H e r e the therapist causes upset o n c e he fails to acknowledge s o m e attribute that the false self is using to buttress itself against the equally inflated sense o f inferiority hidden in the shadow. It is not that the therapist should withhold

40

ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK

praise, indeed this would be to r e - w o u n d , but that the praise should b e directed at the real self for real accomplishments in the real world, however small. L o o k i n g at these three w o u n d s it is apparent that the narcissistically w o u n d e d are entirely defined b y their relationship to others while at the same time having either n o or little relationship with this other. W h i l e it is natural to seek ourselves through another w e must also allow the other to b e separate and to separate from them. T h e nature o f infantile narcissistic relationships prevents this until such a time that the separation is not felt as destructive. A t all levels the absolute character o f the idealization must change into a relationship that can contain both g o o d and bad experiences.

Borderline Personality D i s o r d e r T h e w o r d 'borderline' is frequently misunderstood to mean a state o f m i n d that is o n the border between psychotic and neurotic personality structures. H o w e v e r , it w o u l d b e better to conceive o f it as a separate state, not within a continuum, that has characteristics that are both psychotic, in that they appear unconnected to reality and also neurotic, in that they represent places o f developmental arrest. S y m p t o m s frequently include impulsive and self-destructive behaviour, anger and depression, brief psychotic losses o f reality and either dependent or superficial and transient relationships. W h e n w e have a borderline personality disorder we are suffering the most severe expression o f a w o u n d i n g that originates from the failure to successfully separate from mother, or whoever is mother for us, during the first t w o years o f life. Identity is found in our fused or merged state with another which makes us clinging, controlling, needy and manipulative. H o w e v e r , this fusion alienates us from the real self and in the shadow the repressed desire for independence and its generation o f a real self elicits guilt and rage. T h e rage is an important dynamic because it is protest, anger and rage that have never been allowed expression or, having expression, have instantly been met with rejection. In all cases the borderline rage, projected onto the therapist, is defended against, as a source o f terror, unconsciously identified within passive aggression, and yet constantly constellated in the world as the field o f the c o m p l e x confirms its original making. T h u s all relationships confirm the belief that to b e separate equals abandonment and to be in relationship equals annihilation. H o w e v e r , positively, it is the same rage, constructively used, that can b e c o m e the engine o f the stalled individuation. In therapy the borderline and merged narcissistic presentations share the same p r o b l e m o f the transference being unconsciously resisted and this partly is what makes working with this w o u n d so difficult. H o w e v e r , while the narcissistic presentation revolves around issues o f worth, the borderline revolves around issues o f existence. Schwartz-Salant (1989) gives a graphic description o f working with this w o u n d . O n the surface the patient may seem extremely demanding and compliant and yet they also control the therapy so that any effect is nullified. H e r e w e see 'the characteristic borderline quality o f simultaneous drives towards fusion and separation' (SchwartzSalant 1989, p . 163). A t the heart o f the work is the patient's fear that to form a therapeutic alliance with the therapist is to o n c e m o r e b e c o m e subsumed b y another's

THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP

41

needs. T h e therapist, receiving these u n c o n s c i o u s feelings, via their o w n u n c o n s c i o u s , may feel frustration, failure, anger and despair and they t o o d o not want to b e with this difficult and painfully troublesome patient. T o g e t h e r they may deny the underlying reality that what is really wanted is that n o relationship should happen. T h u s they act out the original w o u n d i n g in w h i c h the child had n o life o f their o w n and the therapist/ parent confirms the child's belief that they are not wanted for themselves. A n d beneath this the desire in the s h a d o w to destroy relationship acts as a distorted forerunner to form a separate, independent existence. Until this truth is acknowledged as the reality o f what the patient deeply needs and the therapist can contain and not act out the uncomfortable reality o f their o w n needs (that the patient should be well), it will not be possible for a w h o l e s o m e relationship to d e v e l o p in which the patient and therapist can b o t h b e in relationship with each other and not find this destructive. T h e active naming o f the different states o f raw being, in a diagrammatic form, each o f them rigidly b o x e d in with their o w n reciprocal role structures, that maintain a sense o f fragmentation and alienation, helps the process o f developing an observer: the Τ w h o sees ' m e ' . T h i s , hopefully, creates the possibility o f a safe e n o u g h space for the liberation o f the patient's rage, which unless skilfully received (not managed) may b e violently selfdestructive as it emerges raw from the u n c o n s c i o u s . H o w e v e r , the inner image o f the abandoned o r dead child, the representation o f the true self, may not b e resurrected until this violence is accepted into the personality as a whole as a force for change. T h e difficulty o f this therapeutic relationship should not b e underestimated and expert supervision and the abandonment o f heroic intent will be necessary for any therapist attempting it.

PHASES OF T H E WORK: IMPLICATIONSFOR T H E THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP T h e Initial C o n t a c t Everything that has g o n e before the first session has something to contribute to the potential therapeutic relationship. A p p o i n t m e n t making via letter, telephone o r p e r s o nal request enables us to ask ourselves what is the attitude within these exchanges, what does this tell us about the person and their needs and expectations o f therapy? Even though these exchanges should remain brief and practical, to a keen ear, m u c h may b e immediately clear. T h e First Session and Assessment T h e r e are t w o functions to a psychotherapeutic assessment. O n e is to assess whether psychotherapy might b e useful to the person in terms o f their presenting ' p r o b l e m ' or issue; the s e c o n d is to assess the kind o f therapy m o s t appropriate and with w h o m . T h e public sector usually has guidelines for assessment and n u m b e r o f sessions to be offered. A l s o , with the formalized 'purchasing' o f services n o w current in the British Health Service, the kind and length o f therapy will b e set in advance. In the private sector the field is m o r e o p e n , m o r e variable and the need for vigilance greater.

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Sometimes a patient is referred from another agency with a referral letter indicating that s o m e form o f assessment has already taken place, and that the therapist has been selected for a particular reason. In situations where patients are referred O u t o f the b l u e ' o r self-referred the main issue for therapists is to be able to k n o w with w h o m they can work therapeutically, and which patients are best referred elsewhere. F o r therapists in private practice the assessment often amounts to the first session although it is very important for the therapist not to assume it is simply a first session and fail to make an assessment. Different therapists d o this in different ways and these ways are always in development: however, there are s o m e general principles to remember. Basically the therapist must c o m e to s o m e understanding o f the potential patient's presenting and underlying problems, self assess their o w n use, offer an opportunity for the patient to ask questions and also describe the therapeutic contract. O n c e this is d o n e the person can then either decide o n the spot to continue or ( m y preference) g o h o m e and think o n it. M y o w n method revolves around the fundamental

questions

' w h y has this person c o m e and w h y n o w ' and devotes approximately half the time to the answer. In addition to this, I will also b e considering the questions listed b e l o w . N e x t , perhaps ten minutes for any clarifications and questions and then ten for the contract and ending. Finishing o n the contract is important because not o n l y does a clear contract prevent confusion later, it also begins to build the therapeutic vessel and, b y its brutal practicality, in effect disengages the transference that many patients instantly attach to the therapist as potential saviour. T h i s is a transference that it is not appropriate to receive until both parties have decided to work with each other. O f course all g o o d plans g o astray and such a plan in the face o f a sea o f tears must dissolve. H o w e v e r , here still the contract must b e agreed before starting even if it means a second assessment meeting. F o r a n e w therapist, the content o f the contract is best designed with the help o f the supervisor and is important as an essential part o f the vessel.

O b s e r v i n g and K e e p i n g an O p e n M i n d : Considerations D u r i n g the First Session 1.

W h a t presence does this person bring with them? H o w might I describe it for myself? ( M a y only find an answer afterwards.) Image, feeling, note.

2.

B o d y language - h o w does the person carry themselves, sit, hold their various b o d y parts - head, arms, legs, torso. F o r example: o p e n / c l o s e d / c h a l l e n g i n g / d e m u r e / hostile/seductive.

3.

E y e contact - expression in the eyes; eye m o v e m e n t s ; direct look; closed eyes; changes in expression.

4.

Dress - appropriately for climate, status, age, etc., or, unusual,

inappropriate

(bathing suit in the middle o f winter), or poorly put together expressing confusion, depression, at o d d s with themselves. ( N e e d to watch our o w n fantasies about dress here. S o m e o n e may b e an eccentric artist w h o greatly enjoys and is in relationship with their costumes!) 5.

General health - does this person look well? - skin tone, colour, b o d y size, o d o u r , teeth, etc.

THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP

43

F o r P o n d e r i n g Afterwards W h a t d o m y answers to the above tell m e about the person? 6.

H o w can I gauge the strength and robustness o f their e g o personality - in the history, e.g. their c o m m i t m e n t s , relationships, ways o f looking after themselves, c o m p l e t i n g tasks.

7.

W h a t is being c o m m u n i c a t e d to m e o n a level o f (a) feeling; ( b ) thinking; ( c ) b o d y ; ( d ) intuition; (e) spirit? W h i c h function is dominant? W h i c h is hidden o r poorly integrated?

8.

W h a t story d o they bring and what is its central theme? - e.g. rejection; loss; abandonment; emotional hurt and pain; confusion.

9.

W h a t sense d o I have o f their ' s e e d ' and h o w it has manifest during their life? - e.g. what makes the heart sing? when have they been happy? what has helped them through the bad times?

10. W h a t sense d o w e get o f the frustration o f archetypal

intent presented

as

' p a t h o l o g y ' or ' w o u n d i n g ' and the corresponding 'learning' they are struggling with? - to separate; to let g o o f anger; to stand alone; to b e brave e n o u g h to love; to allow themselves to ' b e ' real. 11. H o w d o e s this person make m e feel? W h a t happens in m y b o d y , feeling, thinking, what is m y intuitive h u n c h about them? W h a t are silences like with them? 12. W h a t transference invitations can I sense, or predict I might have to encounter? 13. A r e there any issues that might get in the way o f the work? 14. H o w can I begin to reflect o n their story now? Supervision questions. 15. D o I feel I can work with them? - (a) can I meet professionally what they have brought? ( b ) can I put m y s e l f into the vessel with them and g o to the u n k n o w n with them?

Referring O n S o m e t i m e s w e cannot work with s o m e o n e and w e must refer o n . D r Nina Coltart said to m e o n c e that she felt c h o o s i n g a therapist for a patient was akin to marriage guidance, the m i x o f gender, race, education, age, social class and intelligence, the use o f language all contributed to the success o f the work. T h e art is not to achieve sameness, but compatibility. A n older w o m a n might have a very successful therapy with a younger man; a black man a successful therapy with a white man or w o m a n . T h e important initial factors are attunement, trust, with a general feeling o f g o o d chemistry and liking. T h e r a p y is not possible if there is dislike o n either side or if there is t o o m u c h negative transference at the very first meeting. H u m a n beings' prime need in relationship is attachment. W e need to attach, to feel safe, to let g o , before we can m o v e away again. T h i s personal aspect allows for the projection o f other figures - mother, father, sister, brother, teacher, friend, to b e e m b o d i e d for the purpose o f change in perception and for reparation. It is also important as a therapist to ask ourselves whether w e feel able to g o where the patient may take us, k n o w i n g that w e cannot g o very m u c h further in life

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ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK

experience than where w e have gone within ourselves. Also that w e k n o w when w e have not the right skills and sufficient experience to meet difficult presentations.

Referring Difficult Presentations Recognition o f difficult presentations

such as severe narcissistic and borderline

problems means therapists have the choice to refer to others m o r e experienced in working in this area. In private practice this is essential. In other settings such as G P surgeries, day centres, d r o p in centres where time limited therapy is the m o d e l and supervision is efficient and plentiful it may be necessary to get used to working with 'difficult' patients, and, if possible, limit their number in o n e ' s caseload to only t w o . M a n y trainee therapists d o not have the luxury to choose and, sadly, t o o often difficult patients are given to trainees to struggle with which can often be alarming and discouraging, as well as potentially rewarding and heartening.

H o w to R e c o g n i z e Difficult Presentations 1.

Disturbed personal history; sometimes previous psychiatric admissions; history o f

2.

Extreme responses such as sudden flights into m o o d change, shifts in feeling in the

self-harm, violence, suicidality. r o o m , shifts in word usage. Therapists easily feel confused and as i f they are handling water running through their fingers. In order for any communication to o c c u r , these shifting states need to be named first and the act o f naming them forms the first building block o f the relationship.

Dissociative D i s o r d e r and Multiple Personality Patients with a history o f fragmentation and multiple selves need the care o f those w h o specialize in this work. It often happens however, that awareness o f the results o f a violent and abusive early history is deeply buried under presenting problems and may emerge when a long-standing trust has developed within the therapeutic relationship. In m y experience, if this occurs the best person to stay with this difficult material is the therapist w h o is engaged in the work, and already has a trusted relationship. Pulling someone out o f therapy for referral to an 'expert' can be extremely damaging to the relationship established and may repeat early patterns o f abuse; yet, if the therapist truly cannot manage, it is still better to d o this than continue to fail entirely.

Memory Patients w h o have been severely traumatized may experience flashbacks and images that at first are incomprehensible. T h e current debate within psychotherapy o n the nature o f m e m o r y - true or false - has fuelled a great tension for therapists and their clients and the issue o f trust is challenged. Therapists need n o w to learn about the

THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP 45 nature o f m e m o r y , and the nature and effect o f trauma. T h e y need a clearly defined way o f working with highly charged images from early life, particularly those images that w o u l d appear to b e related to the trauma o f c h i l d h o o d sexual abuse. Believing in the reported experience, as it is witnessed within the vessel, helps responses and questions to emerge naturally. Research into the nature o f m e m o r y reveals that while ordinary m e m o r y is dynamic and b o t h changes and decreases over time, traumatic m e m o r y has been described as 'indelible'. W e watch the breath and the b o d y as it holds trauma, we listen to the felt life, the note, the atmosphere o f the silences and energy o f the images. O u r work then is to unravel the agony that lives o n in the psyche o f our patient. T h e n , through the vessel o f belief and the safety o f being heard and not judged and sentenced, what has been scripted as indelible and held in place b y vigilance may begin to sit side b y side with other experiences. O n l y after this therapeutic experience within the vessel can steps at reality testing have any meaning. I f the images as felt b e c o m e memories as reported and are subject to literalization, both therapist and patient suffer from the invasion o f an outside d y n a m i c which does n o service to the healing process needed. O n e has to k n o w o n e ' s buried truth in order to b e able to live one's life. T h e " n o t telling" o f the story serves as a perpetuation o f its tyranny. W h e n o n e ' s history is abolished o n e ' s identity ceases to exist as well' ( L a u b and Averhahn 1998).

Keeping Records After w e have agreed to take s o m e o n e on we need to make sure w e keep accurate records o f their personal details to refer to. T h e s e are ideally kept o n a small card in a card index b o x w h i c h is separate to the file in which y o u write session notes. T h e card index should include: Full name; A d d r e s s and h o m e , work and m o b i l e telephone numbers; D a t e o f birth; N a m e o f referral agent; G P ' s name and address (I usually explain that I will not write to any other professional person without their permission first, but that I need to have the G P ' s number in case o f the need for medical support during the therapy); Date o f assessment; Date o f first session; W h e t h e r the therapy is long or short term.

Session Notes and Note-taking - Confidentiality is Crucial N o t e s need to be kept in a locked filing cabinet. T h e content o f the notes needs to include: D a t e o f session; N u m b e r o f sessions, supervision notes, reading; F o c u s o f the session; A n y additional information (dreams, drawings - either originals if y o u have been asked to look after them or sketches you make after the session). N o t e s can b e subpoenaed in a court o f law. T h e y need to be kept for five years after the end o f therapy and then shredded. A ' b u d d y system' where another therapist keeps a list o f current patient caseload in case o f emergency maintains confidentiality and acts as a support for the therapist. Therapists need to leave in their will instructions for the burning o f case material in the event o f their death.

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T H E M I D D L E PHASE T h e middle phase o f work begins o n c e the 'novelty' factor o f therapy has dissolved. In a brief therapy this may be after the first third o f the number o f sessions, in a longer therapy it may b e after the first eighteen months. Here the magical 'in loveness' o f the new has worn off. T h e r e may b e disillusionment as well as a general feeling o f letting g o . I always feel a relief as therapist when this begins to happen because I feel that n o w the real relationship can develop. T h e therapeutic issues for the middle phase are to d o with the subtleties o f the timing o f interventions. T h i s will be directed b y the patient's need for development and reparation. A careful note o f dreams, use o f language and image, a watchful eye o n b o d y language, dress and changing m o o d are all part o f the growing o f the therapeutic relationship. A s the transference

relationship

lessens, so the 'person to person'

relationship grows, and the space for other, wider experiences o f consciousness and sense o f self widens. Therapist

Interventions

F o r the periods o f long 'plateau' or feeling 'stuck', interventions which are to d o with building a stronger sense o f self will b e directed at carefully mirroring that self back in whatever minute form it emerges. If the 'stuckness' seems to d o with hanging o n to past fear that has been explored and named, the interventions will be to create both a safe space for the new experience and a challenge to the part that is holding o n out o f fear. Subtle interventions are learned from practice, from supervision and from o n e ' s o w n therapy. It is always helpful to tape a session (with permission) and look in detail at one's responses as therapist. T h i s helps us to keep asking: •

W h a t I am about to say . . . w h o does this serve? M e , or the patient?

•

W h i c h part o f the person am I speaking to when I ask this?

•

W h a t am I reflecting back to the person when I say this?

•

W h a t new space d o I wish to o p e n u p for this person?

•

H o w shall I leave this? A s it is, raw ragged, hurting, in order to allow the person to go away with the feeling as if trusted to hold it? O r , d o I need to tie up these ragged pieces for the person, as they would b e m o r e confused if I d o n ' t try?

T h e r e are times when it appears we are inactive. W e should never underestimate the value o f our presence. Feeling into the felt sense or getting an image for where y o u feel you are together helps. Images might be 'stuck', ' b o g g e d d o w n ' , skimming o n the surface. Sometimes periods o f apparent inertness are because some new material is about to appear. Self Disclosure A s the relationship m o v e s towards a real meeting, and m u c h less o f a transference relationship, it is necessary to be careful about the amount o f self disclosure. T o say Ί

THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP

47

r e m e m b e r struggling with this o n e when . . . ' may b e just the kind o f sharing needed to encourage s o m e o n e to brave the n e w and contribute to the development o f an equal relationship. O r , the person may feel o v e r w h e l m e d or competitive. O r again, knowing m o r e o f the therapist may bring m o r e reality into the relationship and encourage a withdrawal o f projections. T h e s e subtle judgements are important. W e are simply mindful o f the difference.

T i m i n g o f Intuition M a n y therapists have an intuitive knowing about their patient. W h i l e this is valuable, intuitive insights need to b e digested and p o n d e r e d o n for their accuracy and appropriateness to b e usefully shared. M o s t l y w e need to keep our intuitive flashes to ourselves o r w e ' b u r d e n ' the patient and appear t o o magical.

D a r k N i g h t o f the Soul S o m e t i m e s therapy is the permissible container for depression and breakdown which needs to happen because the adapted self has been t o o narrow, too brittle, thwarting the soul life. T h e m i d d l e phase may reflect this process b y a retreat into a long drawn out period o f feeling little, and lost. T h e therapist is witness to the process as well as wise midwife to the self waiting for the time to be born. S u p p o r t for therapists and patients c o m e s from the poetry o f T . S. Eliot when he writes: 'the faith, the h o p e and the love are all in the waiting'. A wise midwife knows when to call in other experts, such as when a p r o l o n g e d depression seems to deepen and the person b e c o m e s in need o f the support o f medication; or when s o m e o n e actually needs the containment o f a hospital for the processes they are undergoing. M o s t l y though, therapists learn to endure the long dark night alongside their patients, in anticipation o f dawn and a new sense o f self b o r n o f the true surrender o f the carapace in which they were held.

Are Therapists a l l o w e d to Laugh? H u m o u r is n o w recognized as g o o d medicine and workshops o n laughter help sick children and ageing rheumatics. T h e r a p y has been notoriously a humour-free zone, frowned u p o n in traditional analysis and psychotherapy as inappropriate, childish, taking away from the inner truth o f the c o n c e r n . Certainly if w e use h u m o u r as a defence against our o w n fear or not knowing; if w e laugh because we are embarrassed or d o not k n o w what to d o w e lose contact with our patient and the relationship struggles. I f w e collude with laughter or h u m o u r at the expense o f meeting the emotional need to have us enter the feeling behind the act, we d o them a disservice. S i m p l e questions that d o not puncture but attempt to hold the m o m e n t such as: ' W a s it really funny?', or Ί notice y o u are making light o f this, is that what y o u really feel?' help to leaven the contact. Laughter itself can also be extremely powerful as a shared

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contact o f equality, when it is spontaneous, impeccably timed and completely genuine.

C o m p l i c a t i o n s and threats to the Therapeutic Relationship Acting Out C o m i n g late repeatedly to sessions, missing sessions, c o m i n g o n the w r o n g day, 'forgetting' to pay bills, are all normal and usual aspects o f mild acting out in therapy and always related to s o m e unconscious expression that needs to b e named. T h i s may b e to d o with ambivalence about getting close; anger at having to c o m e because o f need, envy o f therapists' 'better' position; o r fear o f disclosure. But there are n o generalizations. Also, buses d o g o slow and accidents happen! Therapists are human first and professionals alert to repeated patterns second. T h e s e patterns need to b e explored and brought into the work as a whole. M o r e serious levels o f acting out would include telephoning at all hours, demanding behaviour towards a therapist or their family, threats o f violence, stalking, writing angry or threatening letters, even standing in the garden o f the therapist or ringing their doorbell repeatedly. T h e s e are serious challenges to the stability o f the relationship. W h i l e all therapists in their lifetime's practice would experience s o m e o f this, the issues need to be discussed fully in supervision and the support o f supervision and colleagues is vitally important.

Suicidal Intent T h o u g h t s such as Ί can't g o o n ' ; ' I just want out'; 'what's the point'; fantasies such as driving into a tree, going to sleep forever, a growing cynicism, ' w h o cares anyway', may indicate suicidality. T h e s e times are always trying and worrying for therapists. W h i l e as Transpersonal therapists we recognize that the soul needs the depth experience to usher in change, acknowledgement o f the seriousness o f suicidal thinking or intent opens the potential for new thinking and rethinking. T h e ability to really speak o f the burden that wants to be put d o w n and have it heard, sows seeds o f trust within the relationship. T h e potential suicide is believed, their pain taken seriously. In Schneidman's studies (1987) the most important offering is the recognition o f the unbearable psychological pain and the space o f time to re-think. F o r it is the thinking process that, if t o o narrowed and distorted, can direct the last impulsive act.

Listening for the Note of the Suicide Within 1.

N a m e the subpersonality or part courting death, using straightforward language. 'It feels as if this is the o n e w h o thinks it's a g o o d idea to kill y o u r s e l f is m o r e direct than: Ί w o n d e r if y o u fantasize about passing away?'

2.

Explore what it is that wants to die or b e killed off. W h a t kind o f death?

THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP 49 3.

E x p l o r e revenge fantasies ' . . . Γ11 die and then they'll see . . . ' . A n g e r and hate turned against the self as object will need a wider canvas for expression.

4.

A l l o w space for the quality and depth o f despair.

Patients may feel m o r e vulnerable to suicidal thoughts during depression, or as they are beginning to recover and have m o r e energy. T h e experience o f loss, failure, while being 'juicy' for the process o f individuation is always a defeat for the e g o . If the e g o is brittle, built u p o n the shifting sands o f others' admiration and approval, there may b e a process where the idea o f self-annihilation offers the only c o m f o r t . S o m e therapists, working with actively suicidal patients ask for a suicide contract. T h i s may b e a contact to not attempt suicide during the course o f the therapy, or the therapy ends immediately. O r , it is an agreement to explore the suicidal thoughts, but not actualization. T h e agreement needs to describe what the patient can d o if the desire to act u p o n the thought b e c o m e s urgent, such as using the telephone support o f Samaritans, o r telephoning their G P , or y o u as therapist if this is appropriate to the nature o f the intent. T h e issue for the therapeutic relationship is hugely challenging and not insignificant, for o n c e w e are part o f the shared inner landscape w e are n o longer uninvolved and we may have an important role to play. Clearly defining what that role is will b e a matter for individual psyches and discussion in supervision. S o m e t i m e s it is a surprise for patients to find that there is s o m e o n e w h o will b e affected b y their death, and this may b e the first time that the nature o f the therapeutic relationship has been acknowledged.

ENDINGS A N D IMPLICATIONS FOR T H E THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP Endings may b e planned with a date set for ending, or they may b e c o m e a natural conclusion to the c o m p l e t i o n o f the work. Endings begin with the final phase o f the work, when s o m e o n e has begun their journey h o m e to themselves and the therapy delights in seeing this new life in action - in easy challenges, in assertions, in the forthright nature o f a self that shines right through. T h e r e may b e external changes manifested such as change o f j o b , dress, relationship, belief system; and internal changes such as lessening o f original s y m p t o m s , a greater kindness and acceptance; even the preparation for continuing the nurturance o f the inner life after therapy ends through dream and journal recording. Part o f the final phase is also to look at what has not changed, what is still around like an o l d callous, likely to rub n o w and again but hopefully not the gaping w o u n d it o n c e was. S o m e t i m e s the most significant issue for a therapy is having survived it; having survived a close relationship w e are less fearful o f getting close to others. T h e r e is always sadness and loss when a therapy ends, a little death, which is an appropriate feeling and this needs to b e reflected in the work. Sometimes loss is depicted in dreams o f missing s o m e o n e or something, m o v i n g house, travelling o n a n e w road, being given a jewel with which to g o alone into a dark w o o d . S o m e t i m e s there is a return to the fears and s y m p t o m s - as if the psyche is making a last ditch

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attempt to make sure the old w o u n d s are not dominant. T h e s e times allow the old w o u n d i n g to be experienced differently and the ending o f an important relationship managed, in reality, through to its complete end.

FINALLY Transference, like all human relationships evokes extreme responses. F o r s o m e therapists it is the heart of the work and for others a problematical intrusion. In The Myth of Analysis, Hillman (1972, p . 107) celebrates it: ' W e are in transference wherever we g o , whenever a connection means something to the soul'. Transference modelled o n soul making, upon individuation, means that an impulse must be ignited through one's attraction (transference) to another. W h e r e there is n o transference, nothing m u c h happens, the energy has not been ignited. T h e 'spark' ignited by the intensity of relationship in its hothouse weekly meeting can be seen as psyche's demand for the forging o f change through the love offered b y the nature of the work. In this sense, transference can be seen as a demand or invitation for love. Biological survival need for attachment to another human is basic and vital; to m o v e into the image o f 'wholeness' w e need a way o f recognizing the meaning to the soul in the patterns o f erotic love and to c o m e to love, the call o f the self, as it m o v e s us in psyche. L o v e for Psyche and soul for Eros. I f we only see transference as a 'limitation', as something ' w r o n g ' or 'bad', or as being limited to early life figures, we miss the point o f its energetic thrust. Jungian analyst and art therapist Joy Schaverien writes that there is nothing ' w r o n g ' with psyche: 'Psyche (rather), seeks initiation through the process o f soul making, for which a specific type o f relationship with another human being is required' (1992).

REFERENCES Bacal, H. and Newman, K. (1990). Theories of Object Relations: Bridges to Self Psychology. New York: Colombia University Press. Bion, W. R. (1965). Transformations. London: Karnac (1984). Bollas, C. (1989). Forces of Destiny. London: Free Association Books. Chu, Frey, Ganzel and Matthews (1999). 'Memories of childhood abuse: Dissociation, amnesia and corroboration', American Journal of Psychiatry, 156, 749-55. Clarkson, P. (1995). The Therapeutic Relationship. London: Whurr. Coltart, N. (1982). 'Slouching Toward Bethlehem', printed in The British School of Psychoanalysis, independent edition, ed. G. Kohon. London: Free Association Books. Coltart, N. (1996). The Baby and the Bathwater. London: Karnac. Cardinale, M . (1975). The Words to Say It. London: The Women's Press Ltd (1993). Eliot, T. S. (1936). Collected Poems 1909-1962. London: Faber & Faber (1963). Freud, S. (1985). Studies On Hysteria, vol. 3. Pelican Freud Library London: (1965). Gendlin, Ε. T. (1978). Focusing. New York: Bantam Books (1981). Gendlin, Ε. T. (1981). The Primacy of Human Presence. Hahn, Thich Nhat (1975). The Miracle of Mindfulness. London: Rider (1991).

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Hillman, J. (1964). Suicide And The Soul. Zurich: Spring Publications. Hillman, J. (1972). The Myth of Analysis, p. 107. New York: Harper (1978). Jacoby, M . (1989). 'Reflections On Heinz Kohut's Concept Of Narcissism'. In A. Samuels (ed.), Psychopathology: Contemporary Jungian Perspectives, pp. 139-56. London: Karnac. Johnson, R. (1994). Character Styles. New York: Norton. Jung, C. G. (1945). The Psychology of the Transference, vol. 16 of Collected Works, para. 357 and para. 359. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Klein, M . (1969). Envy and Gratitude. London: Hogarth Press (1984). Kohut, H. (1977). The Restoration Of The Self. New York: International Universities Press. Laub, Dori and Averhahn, Nanette (1998). Accuracy About Abuse. Levene, S. (1987). Healing into Life and Death. New York: Doubleday/Anchor. Maslow, A. (1965). The Farther Reaches of Human Nature. New York: Viking (1971). Masson, J. (1988). Against Therapy. London: Fontana (1990). Papini, G. (1969). A Visit to Freud', reprinted in the Review of Existential Psychology and 4

Psychiatry 9(2), pp. 130-34. Ryle, A. (1990, 1995). Cognitive Analytic Therapy. London: Wiley (1995). Ryle, A. (1997). Cognitive Analytic Therapy and Borderline Personality Disorder. London: Wiley. Schaverien, J. (1992). The Revealing Image. London: Routledge. Schneidman, E. (1985). Definition of Suicide. London: Wiley. Schwartz-Salant, N. (1989). 'The Borderline Personality: Vision & Healing'. In A. Samuels (ed.), Psychopathology Contemporary Jungian Perspectives, pp. 157-204. London: Karnac. Stein, Robert (1973). Incest and Human Love. Dallas: Spring Publications (1984). Suttie, I. (1935) The Origins of Love and Hate. London: Penguin. Walsh, R. and Vaughan F. (1993). Paths Beyond Ego. Tarcher/Perigree: Jeremy Racher. Welwood, J. (1994). Awakening The Heart. Boston and London: Shambhala. Wilber, K. (1995). Sex, Ecology, Spirituality: The Spirit of Evolution. Boston: Shambhala. Wilhelm, R. (1951). / Ching. Book of Changes. London: Routledge. Winnicott, D. W. (1979). The Maturational Processes and the Facilitating Environment. London: Hogarth Press (1979). Yallom, I. (1989). Love's Executioner, and other tales of psychotherapy. London: Penguin.

CHAPTER 3

Once Upon a Time . . . Stories, Beliefs and Myths Claire Chappell

Editor's note: Our lives start with a mystery. While careful and precise scientific observation has revealed archetypal patterns of psychological development, what remains is the unfathomable truth that each of us arrives different into the world and lives a unique version of human life. In this chapter Claire Chappell holds the two poles of this mystery together. In her first section the timeless and collective patterns of the soul's incarnation are set down and seen through various psychological theories drawn from different schools of psychotherapy and also through the older and more poetic lens of fairy tale and myth. Understanding these patterns enables us to have hold of the big picture of which each of us is an expression. Her second section demonstrates how understanding this is then used in clinical practice. C. G. Jung said that we should learn all the theory we can and then forget it as we sit with another. This is here illustrated beautifully and we see how the vessel of the work, the quality of bare attention, a compassionately spacious nonjudgemental presence, effects spontaneous transformation. Transpersonal Psychology here is not something other or transcendent away from ourselves in some other place or time but rather an immanent quality that is found by resting mindfully within the therapeutic relationship. N.W.

INTRODUCTION

A

s psychotherapists we have a choice o f psychological theories to guide our practice with children, adolescents and adults. O u r choice o f theory will b e governed b y our personal beliefs and values and, beneath these, the collective myths that inform the culture in which we live. Before looking at some o f the psychological theories available and their application in clinical practice, let us briefly explore the nature o f beliefs and myths.

BELIEFS Beliefs are experienced as true or self-evident. T h e y may b e both conscious and unconscious. A s transpersonal psychotherapists we may consciously hold beliefs that reflect values that are associated with the transpersonal perspective, beliefs about the purpose and meaning o f life. Other beliefs, however, remain unconscious until situations or events challenge our sense o f w h o we are. O n these occasions, w e may b e surprised, horrified or shamed as we discover beliefs which w e would consciously disavow. T h i s chapter explores and demonstrates h o w the tensions, between the

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consciously held beliefs and the powerful unconscious ones that remain active within the shadow, play a major part in o u r life story. Each family and each individual within that family holds both. F r o m the perspective o f the g r o w i n g child, new to the world, we learn the beliefs w e need in order to b e loved, cared for and to survive. W e learn these beliefs from the adults through the way that w e are treated, and through what the adults d o rather than from what is said. T h e s e beliefs b e c o m e our truth. T h i s is not to say, o f course, that therapists should not have beliefs; that is impossible. N o r that o u r belief systems need to c o i n c i d e with those o f our clients. S o m e t i m e s the understanding that w e and the client are holding very different beliefs can b e stimulating and even fun! H o w e v e r , w e d o need to k n o w that our beliefs are there, b o t h c o n s c i o u s and u n c o n s c i o u s , and h o w they may influence the therapeutic process. O n c e w e have this awareness w e can then compassionately witness the life stories o u r clients bring us and help them to understand the beliefs that, consciously and u n c o n s c i o u s l y , may have c o m e to rule their lives.

MYTHS M y t h s illustrate archetypal

themes that are ever present,

again consciously and

unconsciously, throughout our lives. T h e y contain stories o f heroic adventures, quests and journeys: Odysseus and his return to Penelope; D o r o t h y and her search for the W i z a r d o f O z . S o m e myths are love stories: Tristan and Isolde; Rama and Sita; G u i n e v e r e and Launcelot. S o m e contain war stories: the battling Titans; the T r o j a n W a r s . T h e y may also encapsulate the lives and actions o f the animal p o w e r s , spirits, angels, g o d s and goddesses that we evoke, placate, implore and worship. Joseph Campbell has called these manifestations o f the d e e p archetypal waters the 'Masks o f G o d ' , and suggests that 'Shakespeare's definition o f his art, " t o hold, as 'twere, the mirror u p to nature" is equally a definition o f m y t h o l o g y ' ( C a m p b e l l 1987, p . 9 ) . M y t h o l o g y is as a mirror to the soul and so it reconciles the conscious e g o with its shadowy roots. A s psychotherapists, deeply involved in this reconciliation, these mythological tales help us to think about the b i g archetypal themes that operate in our o w n and o u r clients' small individual stories. T h e r e are themes o f miraculous births and c h i l d h o o d s w h i c h herald the c o m i n g o f the solar hero. T h e r e are quests; the dying o f o l d life patterns; the initiations to u n d e r g o and the return with new understandings,

the

treasure o f the search. W e find the mythical struggles and the ecstasy o f war and love e c h o e d in the experiences o f the shadow and in the animus and anima. T h e presence o f the Self, the g o d image within the psyche, may b e glimpsed in those chaotic and terrifying m o m e n t s when s o m e h o w , out o f great suffering, something

meaningful

emerges and lifts the person b e y o n d him or herself. W e m o v e from Gethsemane, through death and the underworld, to the Resurrection. In the first part o f this chapter

I explore the value for psychotherapists, o f

understanding the impact o f these beliefs and myths, both individual and collective, o n the g r o w i n g child. I link this with s o m e theories o f psychological development. In part

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two, ' T h e Child in the A d u l t ' , through three case examples drawn from m y therapeutic practice, I explore h o w woundings during the developmental phases o f c h i l d h o o d and adolescence can manifest later and h o w we might work with these in therapy. In doing this I have drawn from various psychological theories as they all have

different

strengths to offer. I d o not believe it is a matter o f an either/or approach but rather the m o r e inclusive understanding o f a n d / a n d . Finally, rather than write s / h e or adopt the plural, I sometimes use 'she' to refer to the child and sometimes 'he'.

M O T H E R A N D BABY: 0-2 YEARS T h e m y t h s o f pregnancy / am not yet born, Ο hear me! ( L o u i s M a c N e i c e ) Pregnancy is a time o f not knowing, o f expectation, wonder, uncertainty. A s soon as a w o m a n tells the world she is pregnant, myths and old wives' tales c o m e to the surface. T h e r e are myths about every stage o f pregnancy. F o r example, the way a woman 'carries' the baby and the severity o f morning sickness both purport to tell the gender o f the baby. Even in these days o f amniocentesis, antenatal clinics and scans, the process o f pregnancy is one o f waiting, o f w o n d r o u s mystery. In early religious beliefs, the wind, rivers and the serpent were thought to b e responsible for impregnating w o m e n . Robert Graves (1992) writes that the oldest religions were based on the 'worship o f the many-titled M o t h e r - G o d d e s s ' . H e says that 'Ancient Europe had n o gods. T h e Great G o d d e s s was regarded as

immortal,

changeless and omnipotent; and the c o n c e p t o f fatherhood had not been introduced into religious thought' (Graves 1992, p . 13). Early Greek m y t h o l o g y was about matriarchal societies, where the queen took lovers for fun, not for procreation. But ' o n c e the relevance o f coition to child-bearing had been officially admitted'

says

Graves, 'man's religious and political status i m p r o v e d ' ( p . 14). Christianity's story o f the immaculate conception and virgin birth can be seen as a tenet o f faith or a myth, depending u p o n our o w n personal belief system. M a r i o n W o o d m a n (1985) c o m m e n t s that 'the w o r d " v i r g i n " does not mean " c h a s t e " in either its Greek or H e b r e w origins but rather " b e i n g full o f nature, free, uncontrolled". T h e virgin archetype, Artemis in Greek mythology, is also about " b e c o m i n g " and " b e i n g full o f potential".' A n d Barbara Walker (1996) says, ' T h e title, virgin, didn't mean physical virginity, it meant simply - unmarried' (Walker 1996, p . 1048). In m y work with families, I ask parents to tell m e the stories around

their

pregnancies and their children's births. Frequently I find that the way the pregnant mother feels about her pregnancy influences her perceptions o f the baby, sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously. I f the pregnancy and the birth were 'normal' then often her expectations o f the baby are that 'all will b e well'. Equally if the pregnancy has been difficult then the mother's anxiety about the baby is often higher. T h i s is the start o f our journey and the myths around our life in the w o m b are important for our o w n personal mythical journey.

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m y t h s o f birth Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting. (William W o r d s w o r t h )

Birth is associated with newness, with the beginning o f something different. A baby may

b e devoutly wished for o r it may b e felt as a threat to the status q u o . It is an

opportunity to start again, to w e l c o m e in fresh energy, as in the birth o f each N e w Year. The

Christian birth o f Jesus is such a myth. It symbolizes the renewing o f energy, the

starting o f a n e w time cycle with all the attendant hopes and anticipation. The

births o f the G o d s in many myths have often been m o m e n t o u s events. Graves

(1992) gives several variations o f the birth o f A p h r o d i t e . Either she is rising naked from the foam o f the sea riding o n a scallop shell; or she 'sprang from the foam which gathered about the genitals o f Uranus, when C r o n u s threw them into the sea; or that Z e u s b e g o t her o n D i o n e , daughter either o f Oceanus and T e t y s the sea-nymph, or o f Air and Earth. But all agree that she takes the air accompanied b y doves and sparrows' (Graves 1992, p . 4 9 ) . W h a t an entrance into life! M i c h a e l Jordan (1995) says that the birth o f a deity in many cultures does not o c c u r b y natural human means, it has to be superhuman. Thus the goddess Athena springs, fully a r m e d , from the forehead of Zeus, while the divine superhero of N k u n d o m y t h , Lianja, emerges in like manner from his mother's thigh . . . T h e birth process also tends to be cathartic and violent. The implication is that deities cannot be born by the s a m e process as that w h i c h allows a mortal child into the world. W e r e such beings to be delivered by normal means it would perhaps dilute their numinous character. (Jordan 1 9 9 5 , p. χι) T h o u g h the birth o f a human child carries the archetypal elements o f newness and anticipation, often the reality o f the human birth is pain and suffering. Germaine Greer writes that, 'giving birth is the hardest physical task that is asked o f any human, yet it happens daily under b o t h luxurious and horrendous situations, and w e barely notice' ( G r e e r 1999, p . 106). T h e pains o f labour, although s o o n forgotten as an experience, b e c o m e part o f a w o m a n ' s psyche. T h e act o f labour may b e soon over but the intensity is not forgotten. W o m e n ' s stories are full o f the awesome experience o f childbirth, even taking into account the clinical nature o f many birth processes. Tales o f birth tend to be passed o n orally and b e c o m e part o f the family m y t h o l o g y , usually remaining with female m e m b e r s . The own

nature o f the individual birth and the way it is recorded takes its place in our

p s y c h e . W e hear w e were 'untimely ripped' from our mother's w o m b , o r that w e

'nearly killed o u r m o t h e r ' or ' w e slid out perfectly formed and w i d e - e y e d . ' Elizabeth M c C o r m i c k cites w o r k d o n e b y a psychotherapist, Angela W i l t o n , into birth stories. ' S h e noticed h o w the atmosphere around the birth stories was often mirrored in the person's ways o f relating to others' ( M c C o r m i c k 1996, p . 129). F o r example a client, with w h o m I worked for several years, said she spent her life 'in a hurry'. She gave the impression o f staying for only a second or t w o before she had to rush o n to the next activity. S h e spoke quickly, left sentences half finished and gasped for breath. H e r birth had been premature and her mother said that she arrived 'in a great hurry', that the doctors and nurses had been 'in a panic' and that 'everyone knew about A n n e ' s fast arrival'.

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CLAIRE CHAPPELL T h e r e are, o f course, many different theories about the effect that these birth stories,

or o f w o m e n ' s perceptions o f the unborn child, have upon the psyche o f baby. T h e whole area o f intra-uterine and birth experiences is n o w a very rich field o f research. Freud and later Winnicott (1958a) wrote about the effect o f anxiety and birth trauma u p o n the baby. Since then Stanislav G r o f (1975, 1990) has developed theories about perinatal experiences. H e also strongly supports the theory that babies have both positive and negative experiences in the environment o f the w o m b which affect their psychological development. H e maintains that our first transpersonal experiences are experiences in the w o m b .

Infancy and the loss o f eden: 0-6 m o n t h s The infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms. (Shakespeare, As You Like It) A s infants we are totally dependent upon adult systems o f love and care in order to survive and so it is essential that w e are welcomed into a safe world. T h e mother (carer) - baby relationship is paramount and life is precarious and precious. T h e quality o f holding between the mother/carer and baby will influence us in all subsequent close and intimate relationships. T h o s e w h o shape our physical world will leave their print on our hearts and souls. C o m m e n t i n g o n this point, D r A n t h o n y Stevens says 'the most wonderful feature o f the primal relationship between infant and mother [is] that it is ruled b y Eros. It is perfused with love. T h e m o m e n t the mother-child dyad is formed Eros is constellated; and it is out o f love that ego-consciousness, selfhood and personal identity g r o w ' (Stevens 1982, p . 13). W e are vulnerable, helpless and a w o n d r o u s miracle. H o w e v e r not all babies are greeted with unqualified love and safety. M y t h s and fairy tales acknowledge this. In many myths, soon after birth, the baby is abandoned or persecuted as were R o m u l u s and R e m u s , or abandoned for their protection and raised b y lowly foster parents like O e d i p u s , M o s e s , or Perdita (meaning lost) in Shakespeare's The Winter's Tale. T h e infant is often rendered helpless b y the death o f o n e parent and the abandonment b y the other, as in the fairy tales o f Cinderella and Rapunzel. W h e n an infant is vulnerable it is a potential victim to adults' mistreatment and cruelty. In literature, as well as in fairy stories the abuse o f children is a constant theme. Charles Dickens spent many years o f his life, writing books to highlight the harsh world o f the child in, for instance Oliver Twist, Nicholas Nickleby, Bleak House and David Copperfield. Roald Dahl and Rosemary Sutcliffe, the modern equivalents, s h o w the harsh reality in which some children n o w exist. Although our evolutionary progress has not yet allowed us to be b o r n fully independent, o n c e born the human baby is n o longer part o f the mother. N o matter h o w physically close the t w o may b e , separation has begun. M o s t theories (Mahler 1975, B o w l b y 1953, K o h u t 1971) agree about the importance o f the early stages o f the symbiotic relationship between mother and infant. T h e conflict arises about the conception o f the self and the c o m i n g o f individual consciousness. D o e s the presence o f primitive communication/language, for instance, represent

the presence o f a

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separate e g o at near birth? O r are these examples part o f what Jung called 'the coalescing o f islands o f experience' which eventually lead to the formation o f a self? T h e question is at what point does the individual consciousness c o m e into existence? M y o w n perspective is changing. N o w I am probably nearer Stanislav G r o f s (1990) thinking, as his views resonate with many o f the stories I hear from parents about their o w n experiences o f pregnancy and birth. M a n y o f them are c o n v i n c e d that s o m e form o f individual consciousness exists in the w o m b prior to the infant being born. T h e nature o f a t t a c h m e n t and n o u r i s h m e n t What am I? T h e quality o f the parental attachment is often expressed in the way parents hug, c u d d l e and touch the baby. W e talk o f the baby as being 'delicious' and 'she smells g o o d enough to eat'. Parents use all their senses to reinforce the b o n d i n g between themselves and the infant. W e also use our faces and bodies to mirror and reflect back feelings, sensations and emotions to their child. T h e m o t h e r / c a r e r tries to tune in to the baby's need for f o o d , warmth and c o m f o r t . T h e way parents touch their baby gives a sense o f what c o m e s from inside ' m e ' and what is outside. T h r o u g h all these methods the baby is learning about boundaries, the differentiation between the Τ and the ' n o t - Γ . Inside and outside are gradually c o m i n g to b e sensed as different. Children's literature illustrates this boundary setting with rhymes and stories like the finger game R o u n d and R o u n d the G a r d e n , and T h i s Little Pig W e n t to Market and Where the Wild Things Are b y M a u r i c e Sendak. T h e monsters, enjoying their wild rumpus, say to M a x ' O h please d o n ' t g o - we'll eat y o u up - w e love y o u so!' John B o w l b y (1969) looked at this very early stage o f life from the perspective o f attachment and b o n d i n g . H e thought that the most significant human quality to be affected b y separation and loss was the child's basic ability to trust. If the infant cannot trust in the primal relationship, then all other relationships may b e difficult. T h e baby needs to b e able to trust, to b e safe while also being very needy and dependent. H o w w e interpret being cared for, getting our basic needs met, will d e p e n d o n our o w n individual blueprint and the quality o f the attachment between m o t h e r / c a r e r and infant (Johnson 1994). Fairy tales offer another route to understanding this early stage o f attachment. G o o d mothers die y o u n g , as in Cinderella and S n o w W h i t e , and are replaced by wicked step mothers. T h e s e stories reflect the child's feelings towards her mother that begin to emerge o n c e she realizes that the mother w h o answers all her nourishment needs is also the same mother w h o sometimes frustrates them. A t first the baby's emotional experience is total, it is the whole universe. W h e n fed and warm, the baby sleeps soundly and looks in bliss. W h e n hungry or in pain, she screams and shouts with rage. Psychologists describe these experiences as ' g o o d ' or 'bad', not implying moral judgement but just simple feelings. T h e ' g o o d enough mothering' process ( W i n n i c o t t 1964) helps the baby to begin to define the edges o f these emotions. O v e r the early m o n t h s the boundaries between mother and child b e c o m e clearer and b y perhaps six m o n t h s the child begins to suspect that her g o o d , blissful world and her bad, painful world are caused b y the same person. Sometimes the bad feelings are overwhelming

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and the baby cannot deny them. Fearing annihilation she must get rid o f them and so projects them into the world o f mother. T h i s makes her feel better but makes the world m o r e frightening. Alternatively she may retain all the ' b a d ' in herself to protect her need for a perfect, nourishing mother and so b e c o m e identified with the bad. Essentially what is required is a balance. T h e infant must c o m e to a healthy ambivalence in which the mother w h o nourishes and also sometimes withholds can b e safely loved and hated and loved again without fear o f reprisal. I f a child receives and senses this emotional acceptance, she will be better able, as an adult, to respond to the complexities o f emotional life.

3-12 m o n t h s Times They Are Α-Changing ( B o b D y l a n ) Change and m o v e m e n t from o n e phase and stage o f development to another is always a time o f upheaval physically and psychologically. F r o m around six months the baby b e c o m e s aware o f the space between herself and mother. Sometimes y o u can see it in the baby's eyes. G o n e is the immediate delight o f seeing a smiling face; instead, there is a m o r e cautious gaze, then perhaps the smile. A t this stage the baby is 'playing' with the c o n c e p t o f Object permanence' which is why games like peek-a-boo are such fun. M u m disappears, so baby feels a slight tension o f anxiety. B o o , she appears again, laughter o f delight and relief. A s she gets older, the child learns to b e separate m o r e and more. T h e distance that she can travel away from mother b e c o m e s greater. T h e child can begin to 'mother' herself, to take care and help herself with small tasks. She is learning mastery over her b o d y , learning to sit u p , to walk, to talk. T h e child needs the constancy and reassurance o f the mother/carer in order to learn all that has to be learnt. T h e series o f films made b y James and Joyce Robertson in the late sixties, ' Y o u n g Children in Brief Separation', showed the great distress that can b e suffered b y children through enforced separations when their mothers were in hospital. T h e y c o n c l u d e d that separation for y o u n g children, at any age, is always problematic and potentially hazardous. T h e i r work was influential in changing the visiting rules in hospitals for both children and families. T h e next m o m e n t o u s step is the acquisition o f language. It is o n e o f the m o s t important achievements the infant makes. It b e c o m e s the key to m o r e and m o r e communication between the inner and outer worlds. It b e c o m e s the m e d i u m through which most relationships are conducted. F o r many it is what gives us our unique humanity (Piaget 1926, Vygotsky 1962). T h e way that parents respond to all this learning will influence the way that the child learns to learn throughout life. Is learning seen as fun, exciting and w o n d r o u s , or is it a matter o f rushing o n from o n e stage to the next, a way o f competing with others, o f proving to the world what g o o d parents w e are? O n e o f the ways that children manage times o f change was explored b y W i n n i c o t t (1958b) in his c o n c e p t o f the 'transitional object.' T h e s e objects, like a blanket, o r a d u m m y are what Skynner (Skynner and Cleese 1983) calls 'portable support systems'. Christopher Bollas (1989) talks o f the mother as being the transformational object. She

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helps transform experiences which enable the child to differentiate between what is 'me'

and 'not m e ' .

T h e theory of the transitional object has helped us to think about the infant's transition from a partly hallucinated wish world to the creative use of actual objects in the service of the child's desire. (Bollas 1 9 8 9 , p. 1 1 7 ) I r e m e m b e r listening to baby trying to stand up. T h e r e was a running commentary, said in the same tones as mother, 'yes . . . up . . . u p . . . 'ngain . . . up . . . u p ' . T h e child's ability to m i m i c mother was like having mother there as part o f herself, the internalized g o o d mother, to help and guide her.

W A T C H O U T ! B A D D I E S A B O U T : 12 M O N T H S - 2 Y E A R S T h e e m e r g e n c e o f the s h a d o w / have a little shadow that goes in and out with me. ( A . A . M i l n e ) T o d d l e r s are those clever and fascinating people w h o suddenly discover that they have p o w e r . T h e y are n o longer totally dependent u p o n the adults around them. T h e y are b e c o m i n g a person with a recognizable e g o and personality. T h e y can venture and conquer! T h e y have discovered the w o r d , ' N o ' and its effect u p o n adults T h e myth o f the 'terrible t w o s ' is told to worried and anxious parents, when their often soft and loving baby turns into a demanding, strong-willed toddler. T h e child is learning about will and mastery: physically, with potty training and feeding; and psychologically about things to w h i c h he can adapt and about those events that are b e y o n d his control. H e begins to anticipate his parents' responses and reactions. T h e loved child anticipates loving adults; the criticized child anticipates the critical adult. T h e toddler also begins to recognize complicated and often uncomfortable emotions, like jealousy at a younger sibling's arrival o n the scene, or the hurt, and rejection felt when the seemingly loveable adults b e c o m e , overnight, strict disciplinarians b y suggesting that it is bed-time. Fairy tales are full o f giant-sized shadow figures which represent the importance o f the feelings that are attached to them. T h e r e are the wicked stepmothers, the evil magicians, the wicked witches, the tyrants, the greedy ones and the persecutors. T h e s e figures are often ' s h a d o w y ' . T h e y d o not have a specific personality, they personify o n e e m o t i o n as with the jealousy o f S n o w W h i t e ' s stepmother. Marie L o u i s e V o n Franz (1995) offers a useful description o f the shadow: ' w e generally define the shadow as the personification o f certain aspects o f the unconscious personality, which c o u l d b e added to the e g o c o m p l e x but w h i c h , for various reasons, are not'. It reflects the unacceptable feelings that a toddler may have. Everything that is unconscious a n d / o r anything that feels t o o threatening to our developing e g o , makes up our shadow. W h a t we cannot accept w e repress or hide in the shadow. Fairy tales w h i c h reflect back to the child unacceptable and unpleasant feelings are useful ways o f helping to acknowledge the p o w e r o f the emotions and to integrate the shadow. H o w e v e r , if the fear is t o o strong to acknowledge, the child discovers other

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strategies to help him when he is feeling the pain o f the darker side o f life. Feelings o f abandonment or anxiety, loss, separation, jealousy, envy, can be so powerful that the child has to d o something and, being creative, he invents his o w n defence mechanisms. Early defence structures are to deny the experience and feeling, to repress them, to cut them out o f awareness and to split o f f the feelings. Later m o r e sophisticated defence mechanisms are added to these. T h r o u g h projection, we place unacceptable emotions o n t o another. T h r o u g h projective identification, w e project feelings onto another and then identify the other as the feeling. T h e way w e individually react and make up our o w n mixture o f strategies will be unique. It is an interactive process between our archetypal expectations, our personal experience o f ' t h e other', and our personal stories and myths. I remember one teacher telling m e that the problem with defence strategies was that they were formed because they seemed a g o o d idea at the time. T h e g o o d news was that they worked, the bad news was that they worked. T h e problem is that later in life when we n o longer need to have these strategies, w e d o not k n o w that they are there or why we invented them, so we keep stubbing our toe o n them and wondering w h y w e are stuck. S o , to return to the baby, every time the baby starts to feel 'those' feelings again, unconsciously the defence pattern reasserts itself. It is a task o f therapy to identify and make conscious these strategies and to try to find the different choices in life that will not simply reconfirm them.

Sibling rivalry: 10 m o n t h s - 3 years Never mind the ambivalence, what about the hate! T h e advent o f a sibling can create huge tensions in a family. All parents k n o w about sibling rivalry and the murderous feelings that the older (usually) child can have for the younger. T h e s e feelings can be very upsetting for the parents and for the older child w h o suddenly finds himself in the grip o f feelings that he doesn't understand. O r the difficulties may b e around a younger sibling, struggling for his place in the family and w h o needs to be accepted for himself and not continually c o m p a r e d to the older sibling. T h e position that w e had in our family o f origin will influence the way w e perceive and feel about the space we occupied in that family. Adler (1964) c o m m e n t s that this, in turn, will influence h o w we relate outside the family, with our peers and later in working and social groups. M y t h s and fairy tales abound with stories o f the youngest son, the weakest, or the poorest, w h o triumphs over his brothers and wins the prize; the princess or the kingdom as in, for instance, ' T h e T h r e e Feathers', ' T h e T h r e e Brothers' and 'Simeli M o u n t a i n ' - a variation o f Ali Baba. T h e stories o f Cain and A b e l and Joseph and the Coat o f M a n y Colours illustrate the overwhelming jealousy and anger that siblings can arouse in each other. T h e tale o f Hansel and Gretel shows h o w the positive differences between the brother and sister help them to o v e r c o m e their challenges. S u c h stories however are relatively few. I wonder if this might be because the

brother-sister

relationship is thought o f as a 'primitive relationship' as in the early creation myths where the g o d s often married their sisters. Hera was such a sister/wife to Z e u s as were

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Isis and Osiris. Later, society came to consider this sexual relationship as taboo. Perhaps what w e have d o n e is to project the ' t a b o o ' aspects o f this relationship into the shadow and then rejected the relationship as an unacceptable part o f ourselves. Certainly the way siblings relate to each other is an important part o f the developing child's psyche.

MID-CHILDHOOD: 3 YEARS-7 YEARS T h e g r o w t h o f relationship First we start as a nobody, then we become a somebody, then it's back to being a nobody again. ( R a m Dass) A s the external world impinges m o r e and m o r e o n the growing child, the individual begins to take steps away from the mothering process and towards the

fathering

principle, and so out into the world. T h i s is a time o f separation and ambivalence. T h e child realizes that she is a person, that the e g o , the Τ has meaning and power. T h e child still wants intimacy, caring, loving and also wants independence and challenge. T h e father b e c o m e s the s y m b o l for this independence and striving. N o w the child can explore the range o f feelings and sensations that are b e c o m i n g m o r e conscious. Little events can evoke great responses, in the way o f temper tantrums, passions for people, food o r toys. D r e a m s often b e c o m e very vivid with night terrors and the emotional life o f the child is full o f extremes. Busy parents are being continually frustrated by their child as she competes for attention, either with the parents or with a sibling. Often the child will show a preference for one parent over the other. T h e loud screams o f jealousy and envy are heard with cries of, Tt's not fair' and ' N o , I want D a d to help m e ' . A t the same time the child insists on doing everything for her/himself however long it might take. Mother's stories are full o f ' N o w it takes m e longer to get out o f the house than when X was a baby. S / h e insists on doing everything " b y m y s e l f , walking, dressing, going up or d o w n stairs, eating, washing.' T h e child is discovering sexuality, gender differences and similarities. T h e internal conflicting feelings, o f rivalry, infant sexuality and the continuing need for care can make this an explosive time for parents. T h e child needs to b e able to explore h i s / h e r sexual and psychological differences and similarities within safe adult boundaries. M y t h s and stories reflect the themes o f this stage. T h e competition and jealousy between the old G r e e k g o d s and goddesses can b e found in many o f the early stories as told b y Graves (1992). T h e myths o f Hera and Z e u s reflect the ferocity and pain o f feelings, o f jealousy and rivalry. Shakespeare's Othello shows the inevitable destruction which follows from acting u p o n the instinct o f jealousy. T h e O e d i p u s myth shows the p o w e r o f the instincts and h o w difficult it is for consciousness to contain those instincts. Stephen Johnson (1994) says that the reason that this stage in a child's emotional life is difficult, is not only because o f the p o w e r o f the instincts, but also because, 'the issue is triadic, involving a system rather than a dyad. S u c h c o m p l e x

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interactions can o c c u r with other issues as well, but they always o c c u r with the oedipal ones' (Johnson 1994, p . 55). M o s t psychological theories say that the child's need for relationships (Johnson 1994, B o w l b y 1953), individuation (Mahler 1975) and gradual psychological maturing means that he needs others w h o are both similar and dissimilar to himself, to love and respect ( K o h u t 1977). Washburn (1994) says that both girls and b o y s resolve this difficult time by choosing independence over intimacy, father over mother and in different ways: 'It is a shift that, for boys, is m o r e emphatic and negatively directed against w o m e n and that for girls, is m o r e ambivalent and conflictually weighted against themselves.' In taking this view Washburn appears to b e indicating a difference between the masculine and feminine journey.

T H E L A T E N C Y PERIOD: 7 Y E A R S - 1 0 YEARS Enter Star Wars and T h e Yellow Brick R o a d May the Force Be With You {Star Wars) N o w is the time for developing the ego strength, for grounding in the outer world. W e need to b e c o m e rooted in the e g o in order to learn the demands o f the world we live in. T h e world o f learning and school dominates. Relationships outside the family b e c o m e important. Gradually the world o f monsters and giants, o f fairy tales, w o n d e r and magic, recedes and the 'real' world takes over. Archetypically this is the time when powerful collective representations o f parental figures are withdrawn and according to Washburn 'these figures are finally seen in their " t r u e " proportions, as human beings rather than g o d s ' (Washburn 1994, p . 105). Latency is supposed to b e a period o f calm between the storms o f infancy and the turmoil o f adolescence. W i l b u r (1993) calls this 'membership consciousness' the turning outwards, away from the family. Children n o w k n o w that adults are not all powerful and all knowing, that they can b e judged and found wanting. Adults may b e challenged or complained about, not individually, as may happen in adolescence, but in peer groups. T h e s e moans and complaints are not always based on personal issues or disagreements. T h e y may o c c u r because the adult has d o n e something that does not conform or is 'unfair'. T h e concept o f fairness is paramount. Both Piaget (1932) and K o h l b e r g (1976) include this concept as a significant aspect o f a child's moral development. M y t h s n o w appear in the guise o f films like Star Wars and The Wizard of Oz T V soaps and cartoon characters. T h e y o u n g hero and heroine are not yet ready to m o v e away from h o m e for g o o d . T h e y are catching glimpses o f the challenges to c o m e but must remain in the safety o f the h o m e to learn and train. F o r D o r o t h y in The Wizard of Oz, the aim o f her first journey is to seek the w i s d o m from the wizard and to encounter aspects o f her o w n masculine and feminine before she can return h o m e to her safe place. L u k e in Star Wars is a lost child w h o sets out, ill-prepared, to find out about his parents and to help others in distress. But, after his first initiatory adventure, he must b e c o m e an apprentice and learn his skills as a Jedi knight. T h e latest Star Wars

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film, The Phantom Menace has as the child hero Anakin Skywalker, L u k e Skywalker's father. H e is b o r n from a virgin, in unusual circumstances, and possesses great powers and potential (reflecting the mythical births o f s o m e o n e superhuman). O n l y w e , the audience, k n o w that Anakin Skywalker goes 'to the dark side' and b e c o m e s Darth Vadar, the dark father. T h i s echoes, in part, the puer-senex dynamic, where the ageing puer has refused to transform his energy. T h e e g o remains dominant in the second half o f life, b e c o m e s inflated and refuses to give up its p o w e r . T h e result is the 'dark side'.

Learned scripts/beliefs Monday's child is fair offace Tuesday's child is full of grace, etc.

(Anon)

D u r i n g the ages o f six to ten the child is learning the 'scripts' that are around her in addition to those from her very early life. She is not yet questioning those scripts, just taking them in, absorbing them. Scripts are presented b y society as ' T h i s Is T h e W a y Life Is'. T h e child often takes them in and makes them into a belief. H e r e are a few examples: The

throw-away remark from o n e six year old to another ' Y o u are t o o big for that toy':

the script taken in is ' M y b o d y is unacceptable'. T h e r e is the teacher w h o says ' M m m g o o d ' in a p r e o c c u p i e d manner in response to a picture painted: the script taken in is ' T h i s is not perfect . . . I can't paint'. ' D o n ' t shout at m e , you'll give m e a headache' b y o n e parent: the script taken in is Ί cause pain. It's all m y fault'. T h e n when things g o w r o n g , inexplicably w r o n g , the blame for it is put o n t o the self: 'Bad

things happen to m e because . . . I ' m m e and I ' m black', or 'because I ' m a girl', o r

'because I ' m a b o y and I ' m different', or 'because I ' m in a wheelchair'. Alice Miller (1987) quotes the story o f the six year old w h o was told when her mother died, ' Y o u must b e brave; d o n ' t cry; n o w g o into your r o o m and play nicely' (Miller 1987,

p . 4 1 ) . T h e child learnt from this that when she b e c o m e s m o v e d or upset she

must look for a distraction. T h e s e scripts are learnt and believed because they are not challenged. Research has s h o w n that primary school aged children bully others b y calling them names which lowers the status o f the child in the eyes o f others. ( D F E 1994). Informal recent research has indicated that names like 'gay', ' h o m o ' , are the most powerful and hurtful. F o r girls the worst taunts are 'slag', or 'gay'. Insults like these s h o w that the charge o f homosexuality and promiscuity are still powerful ways o f cutting d o w n , excluding and dominating your peers. T h e s e scripts are learned early in life. Racial intolerance is learnt early as is shown clearly in this song from South Pacific: You've got to be taught before it's too late . . . to hate all the people your relatives hate . . . You've

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Is this h o w the outsider b e c o m e s the shadow, the archetypal different o n e , the enemy? Finally with the growing awareness we have about child abuse, we need to think about the scripts o f the perpetrator o f abuse and their effect o n the developing child. T h e 'abuser' often manipulates with honeyed words that have great p o w e r , for example, ' Y o u are beautiful and this is our secret'. T h e script that might be learnt from this is, ' M y b o d y is special and I must keep it locked up for y o u ' .

WELCOME T O OUR WORLD: ADOLESCENCE There's a place for us, Somewhere a place for us Time together with time to spare (Leonard Bernstein, West Side Story) W h e n thinking about the themes o f adolescence the most important w o r d is change; change that is physical, emotional and psychological. It is an age o f discomfort, o f not wanting to be wherever you are; o f wanting life to be full and empty, both at o n c e . M o s t adolescents feel they don't fit, whether it is their clothes, their friends or society. Often they feel that n o b o d y has been in this place before, n o b o d y can have felt h o w they feel now.

T h e stages o f adolescence are often an intense reflection o f the stages o f infancy.

T h e r e is an emergence from an undefined sexuality into the reality o f sexuality. T h e r e is m o v e m e n t away from the parents into the outside world. A s c h i l d h o o d recedes, the child often b e c o m e s lost in the shadow, only to emerge later, demanding to b e reclaimed as our 'inner child'. T h e adolescent's attention is primarily o c c u p i e d with the relationships in the outer world. Relationships with the family, school and society are all examined, sometimes through drugs, partying, rebellion, violence and gangs. T o w a r d s the end o f adolescence the theme o f 'what is m y life about?' appears. T h e archetypal image o f the philosopher often enters into the life o f the adolescent. T i m e is spent thinking about life, death and sex and for thinking b e y o n d themselves, for a quest, a cause, something to live and die for.

Carpe diem - Seize the day Films like Dead Poets' Society and Trainspotting show the ambivalence and extremes that are typical o f adolescence. T h e quotation at the beginning o f this section is the phrase that starts the fire o f creativity burning in Dead Poets' Society. It is the inspiration for the vision quest. Richard Frankel (1998) observes that while s o m e other cultures retain adolescent initiation ceremonies and rites ours has n o formal marker. H e asks, Is the need for formal markers to acknowledge the passage from childhood to adulthood still alive,

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albeit unconsciously, in the psyche of modern m a n and w o m a n ? Is the need for initiation archetypal? If the archetype of initiation is a structural component of the psyche, then it is going to occur whether or not a given culture formally invests in such rites. (Frankel 1 9 9 8 , p. 5 5 ) Perhaps w e can see this archetypal need searching for expression in same sex gangs. H e r e initiation is performed b y the gangs and gives m e m b e r s h i p to an exclusive g r o u p identity that separates the adolescent from the parents. W h i l e this healthy instinct is certainly necessary, the absence o f an initiating elder does mean that alienation from the wider society can and d o e s o c c u r . A n o t h e r issue which often c o m e s strongly to the surface at this time, although it, too, will have had its precursors in earlier years, is the issue o f race. For all practical purposes 'race' is not so m u c h a biological phenomenon a s a social myth ( U N E S C O ) . W e are all w o u n d e d by racism, but for some of us those wounds are anaesthetised. N o n e of us, black or w h i t e , w a n t s to feel the pain that racism has caused. But w h e n you feel it, you're a w a k e . ' (Toi Derricotte 1 9 9 7 ) Reading statements like this d o e s wake m e u p . It makes m e think about m y responsibilities to the individual and to the wider c o m m u n i t y , something which adolescents d o very easily. T h e y constantly make us think about issues that sometimes society w o u l d rather ignore, difficult issues like children w h o are in one-parent families, children in step-families, adopted children, multiple births, disabilities and about us all living in a multiracial, multicultural society. T h e s e are all part o f the collective myths, the ever increasing circles within w h i c h each individual lives and w h i c h adolescents question and explore.

Mothers, fathers and daughters / am all the daughters of my father's house, And all the brothers too. (Shakespeare, Twelfth Night) The

heroine's journey begins to b e different from her brother's with the c o m i n g o f the

constellation o f the father archetype in c h i l d h o o d . A t the stage o f m o v i n g from the influence o f the matriarchal archetype, o f caring and nurturing, to the patriarchal archetype o f i n d e p e n d e n c e , she has different tasks to perform from her brother. She must separate from mother and make a relationship with the world o f the masculine and her o w n inner masculine while still being c o n n e c t e d to herself. T h e goddess Artemis is often seen as the archetypal image behind many adolescent girls. She is fiercely independent, values her freedom and is the icon for all ' t o m b o y s ' . H e r physical energy is her life force. S h e has also been recognized as a powerful image behind the feminist m o v e m e n t s with her emphasis o n 'sisterhood' and self-sufficiency. Artemis symbolizes the need for the adolescent girl to find her relationship with her o w n inner masculine and feminine before exploring m o r e deeply her o w n femininity. M a r i o n W o o d m a n believes that, 'Girls can identify with M o t h e r for a m u c h longer period o f time, since there is n o biological or social imperative for them to separate from her.'

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She continues, 'a girl needs to separate out and b e c o m e her o w n person. Failure to sever the unconscious b o n d (between mother and daughter) eventually constellates a negative relationship' ( W o o d m a n 1996, p . 25). At the same time going too far into the world o f the father at the expense o f her growing feminine can lead to a later necessity to 'reconnect with the feminimity source, ground and spirit' (Sylvia Brinton Perera 1981, p . 7 ) . She maintains that this is the path o f the feminine journey. She says that y o u n g girls, in our society are very g o o d 'daughters o f the father' and their path is to break away from father to find their o w n femininity. O n c e we have broken away from the outer father, then we can find our o w n deep femininity and our o w n internalized father. T h o m a s M o o r e believes that both w o m e n and men need to find their o w n deep father figure to provide a sense o f authority. ' T h e feeling that you are the authority o f your o w n life.' H e continues, ' W e need father figures badly, people w h o can keep us in touch with or stimulate within us that profound principle in the soul that provides guidance and w i s d o m ' ( M o o r e 1992, P-37). T h e bridge from childhood into w o m a n h o o d , for daughters, is through menstruation, the rite de passage for girls. Menstruation has always been seen as the Great Female Mystery. T h e beginning o f the ability to recreate is invested with great significance b y all cultures. Barbara Walker (1996) takes fourteen pages to detail the many myths, initiation rites and ceremonies that are in the collective consciousness. F o r a young girl menstruation is the first great surrender to forces b e y o n d her control. T h e b o d y dictates what happens and the girl can only respond. Physically the b o d y b e c o m e s capable o f procreation but psychologically she may still be a little girl. A s our society has n o puberty rites, a lot o f splitting and disassociation from the b o d y can and does o c c u r . Often the adolescent girl rejects her b o d y and tries to repress the conflicting feelings she has about herself. T h u s the muscle, physicality and sexuality o f icons like M a d o n n a and the Spice Girls b e c o m e important as images o f h o w it may b e possible to b e c o m e a potent and embodied woman. Female clients frequently remember their first menstruation as a time o f confusion and isolation. M a n y talk o f not being able to share their feelings with other female members o f their family or close friends. T h e i r experiences were often o f being very separate from their mothers at this time. A s psychotherapists, we need to understand the importance o f puberty and menstruation, the way our clients felt, what was valued and what was devalued. W e also need to explore the individual myths and beliefs that may still b e around from this stage and which, consciously or unconsciously, may influence the client's way o f being in the world.

T H E C H I L D IN T H E

ADULT

In this section I give three examples o f h o w the 'child in the adult' has appeared in s o m e o f m y therapeutic work with clients. Sometimes represented as 'the inner child', these early feelings can b e understood through the beliefs and myths that surrounded these adult clients in childhood.

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W h e n w e c o m e into therapy, for whatever reason, w e c o m e with our o w n unique case history. W e will have our o w n truths, myths, beliefs and stories. T h e telling o f our tales and having t h e m witnessed b y a compassionate 'other' is a powerful and healing experience in itself. Having o u r stories accepted, perhaps for the first time, is liberating and validating. In every therapeutic relationship there are several processes going o n from the start. O n e is the telling o f the client's material, and another is the context in which the material is presented. T h e material has its o w n rhythm and patterns. It will unfold through the stories, dreams, myths and beliefs that the client chooses to tell. It will also evolve through the techniques chosen b y the therapist; for example, active imagination, working with dreams and the many different creative techniques. T h e context is everything else. It is the 'spaces' between and around the material. W h e n sitting with a client w e try to be totally present with whatever happens in the session. A s the transpersonal witness we are attentive to the presence o f the client, the content o f what is being said and the context. B y staying with the w h o l e therapeutic process and with ourselves w e b e c o m e , mindful, meditatively reflective, as well as deeply engaged. T h i s mindfulness creates the spaces for change, transformation and healing. It is in these 'spaces' that w e can also catch a glimpse o f the child in the adult. W h a t can b e revealed is the child w h o has been repressed or rejected; the child w h o has been put aside for the perceived needs o f the adult. M a r y was o n e such client.

Mary M a r y was in her thirties and a single mother o f t w o . H e r second child had learning difficulties. She was telling m e the story o f her pregnancy with her second child. F o r the last four m o n t h s o f her pregnancy she was in hospital because she had developed difficulties with her w o m b . T h r o u g h o u t the time in hospital she talked to the baby, laughed and cried to him. She played music and sang to him. She treated the baby as a live presence in the r o o m . She w o u l d cry to h i m o f her helplessness, o f her anger at the medical profession for not being able to ' d o ' m o r e . W h e n the b o y was eventually b o r n , b y caesarean section, he appeared well and healthy for the first few months. Later, he was diagnosed as having learning difficulties and that is when she said Ί knew it all along, they didn't have to tell m e . N o w I began to k n o w the meaning o f suffering but I had prepared h i m for his trials ahead when he was in m y belly. H e knew! H e was special!' W h i l e listening to her story I was watching her b o d y language, the way she continually clasped her hands round her belly, her hands gently stroking it. H e r voice was l o w , and her facial expression o n e o f w o n d e r and sadness and then anger. H e r breathing was shallow and just perceptible. W i t h the words 'he was special', her voice gained strength, she broke into a broad smile, her posture changed. F r o m a collapsed state, she sat u p quickly, her back straightened, her head went u p , she looked directly at m e . T h e r e was n o d o u b t i n g the force and p o w e r in her face, b o d y and presence. T h e shift in her energy was dramatic. I felt it in m y belly. I mirrored her non-verbal b o d y language, I t o o sat u p straight and immediately felt stronger. She then repeated in a firmer tone, ' Y e s , that's right, special' W e both stayed silent and straight. I was staying

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with the feelings that her material was awakening in m y b o d y . T h i s

empathie

connection enabled m e to stay present. S e c o n d s before that statement I had been feeling heavy and 'dull', n o w I was full o f energy and alert. T h e r e was initially a 'felt sense' connection between us, then a 'felt shift' as the quality o f the energy changed. I was wondering what the shift in energy was about, what had happened, what was she feeling and what was the word 'special' about? M a r y was n o w breathing m o r e deeply and I was aware o f m y breath. I did not ask, aloud, about any o f these phenomena, although o n another occasion I might have d o n e . I just continued to b e as aware as I could o f everything that was happening in that m o m e n t . B y holding the feeling o f every energetic change and m o v e m e n t , I felt in tune with her. She then took a d e e p breath and said 'Special, yes, he is to me. I knew from the m o m e n t I was pregnant that this o n e was different, it wasn't just m y w o m b , I knew before that. I loved him from the start, so I c o u l d not get rid o f him, I just c o u l d n ' t ' She then d r o p p e d her eyes, her back relaxed, her hands came up to her face and she began to speak slowly and carefully o f her o w n birth and c h i l d h o o d . H e r breathing deepened, her face reddened, she had tears in her eyes and she began to talk clearly and with warmth. H e r o w n birth had been difficult, she had been told often ' y o u nearly caused your mother to die', just as her o w n second child had threatened her life. She remembered little affection or love from her parents. Hers was a story o f pain and neglect and a story she had not told before. T h r o u g h o u t her c h i l d h o o d she had shown great courage and strength to survive both at h o m e and at school. She had been truly 'special' and creative. In later sessions, we explored her early experiences, through drawings, sandplay and talk. Sandplay therapy enabled her, as it does with many clients, to b e both safe and creative and to make a sacred space for healing and transformation. In the sand she was able to manifest physically what she had hidden away from herself. A s a child she had been unable to bear the pain o f her w o u n d i n g and had repressed her overwhelming feelings. She had split o f f from their intensity. T h i s had been a creative way o f helping herself to survive and as a strategy it had been very effective. M y place in the therapy was to help her re-member the parts o f herself that she had split off. I offered her the stillness o f m y attention, so that our relationship became the vessel for change and transformation. A t the level o f transference, I became the accepting mother for M a r y . I was able to connect with her so that she c o u l d re-connect with those neglected parts o f herself. T h e therapeutic sessions were the nurturing space for her to continue towards healing and wholeness. T h e vessel o f the transpersonal therapy is the stillness o f the therapist's attention. Farah M y image o f Farah, from her story as a child in her family's flight from the M i d d l e East, is o f a small, lonely child in a bleak, mountainous landscape. I met her when she was twenty-eight. She was a successful teacher in an inner city school. Farah came to see m e because she felt 'empty, depressed and aimless'. She said that although she never really had time to stop and think because teaching was such a demanding j o b , underneath all the rushing about she felt really sad. H e r relationships with her husband

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and child were deteriorating. She loved teaching and although the headteacher was very d e m a n d i n g she respected Farah and gave her positive support. Within minutes o f her c o m i n g into the r o o m , I felt that Farah was o n the verge o f crying although she rarely did. W h e n I asked her to stay with the feelings in her b o d y , her felt sense, she w o u l d say T m just tired, that's all, it's a relief to sit d o w n ' . Initially Farah, in a flat and expressionless voice, concentrated u p o n her immediate concerns and worries. She wanted to make things better, and quickly. She thought the p r o b l e m was that she was trying to d o t o o m u c h . She thought the problems were school based. She told m e very little o f her early life and said she had n o m e m o r y o f her country o f birth or the journey to Europe. She said that she had 'forgotten' that time, and she explained to m e 'It was m u c h worse for m y parents, had we been found, they w o u l d have been shot. W e children might have survived, as slaves. W e were different from everyone, w e had a different religion.' O n e day she arrived, very upset and very alive. She was full o f anger and energy. She told m e that there had been a fight in her class between a girl and b o y . T h e b o y had called the girl, a m o n g other things 'a cardboard slag' (meaning homeless and worthless) Farah said Ί lost it. I was so angry. I shouted at him. I never shout. I sent him out o f the r o o m and then followed h i m , still shouting. I lost m y temper, I never scream. M y headteacher was kind but she said I must sort this out. I c o u l d n ' t g o back into class, I was crying so m u c h . I wanted to hit him, call him names, beat him u p . I k n o w it was calling her a cardboard slag, that did it, he had such c o n t e m p t in his voice. H o w dare anyone d o that o r say that, it's not right. I k n o w there's m o r e to it than a stupid b o y making a remark he doesn't understand, so what is it?' I asked her h o w she was feeling, right n o w , and she said, ' N o w , I've stopped being angry I feel shaky, I think I frightened myself.' I asked her to stay with those feelings and to identify where in her b o d y that shaking was. She put her hands, above her breast, b y her heart, and said ' H e r e ' . I asked her to keep her hand where it was and see if she r e m e m b e r e d having had that feeling before, when she was younger. T h i s helped her to stay with the physical feeling, and let her b o d y speak directly to her. After a silence, she began to tell m e bits about the journey across E u r o p e with her parents. She remembered only snippets, the darkness, her feet hurting, being tired, her father carrying her. 'But most o f all' she said, beginning almost imperceptibly to shake, Ί was terrified, I d i d n ' t k n o w it but I was so frightened. I must have been frightened for years,' she said, Ί was s o scared . . . s o scared'. S h e sat with her feelings, feeling the fear in her b o d y , n o w , mostly in her stomach, still shaking and gradually images came, the landscape, the other families, the children she met, the hunger and then the food. T h i s very physical link that Farah made between the fear she felt after

the

confrontation in the classroom and the fear she had felt as a child enabled our work to deepen. O v e r the next few sessions we looked at her p r o f o u n d feelings o f being valueless, o f n o importance and often an object for c o n t e m p t . She linked these feelings with the experiences o f her journey. She drew her images and sculpted the landscape in the sand. S h e was very animated, she had reconnected to life. W o r d s and images came pouring out o f her. Between sessions she spoke to her parents about their journey and, although initially they had been reluctant, they helped her fill in the details o f the story.

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CLAIRE CHAPPELL After about the third session o f being fully engaged in her material she arrived again

listless and quiet. It was as i f she had 'run out o f steam', which Farah knew b y n o w was an indication that she was c o m i n g u p against another defence strategy, o r ' m o r e s t u f f as she called it. In the week previously she had created a sandtray and she had chosen two figures to represent her grandparents. She had put them in a far corner o f the tray, behind a m o u n d o f sand, saying 'they're left at h o m e ' . She had not referred back to them. N o w she said, 'Last week I didn't say anything about m y grandparents. A n d afterwards I t h o u g h t . . . and that is just what happened. I didn't say g o o d b y e , I just left. I loved m y grandmother and I just left her . . . and she let m e g o , w h y did she d o that?' T h e loss o f her grandmother, with n o explanations, had been the most w o u n d i n g event o f her early years. She had not been able to grieve, she had felt 'silenced' b y the events. H e r parents, believing that 'forgetting the past' was the best way to be safe and survive, did not attempt to explain to her why they had fled in such fear. Farah, as a very y o u n g child, had been disconnected from her feelings o f fear and loss, nor did she have the language to express those feelings. H e r parents had been unable to discuss feelings with her. T h e y were not able to provide the space for 'reverie', that dreamlike state where experiences can be told and retold and so made safe and made into family myths (Winnicott 1965). A s we continued to work together she was able to get in touch with her d e e p , hidden anger at her parents and grandparents and to grieve for her grandmother and her abandoned, silenced childh o o d . Cut o f f from her background, Farah had b e c o m e isolated and depressed. H e r defence structures o f maintaining

her separateness were working well until the

m o m e n t o f crisis when they collapsed. H e r crisis was precipitated b y a small b o y and she was then able to embark o n her inner journey into her dark world to reconnect with herself. In the therapy, part o f m y role was to give space for the reverie that Farah had not had. I was like the parent o r grandparent w h o hears the story being told and retold in an atmosphere o f compassion, safety and peace until the child is n o longer imprisoned b y her past.

Dave M y final example is o f D a v e w h o was twenty-two. H e was an accountant. H e came to m e because he was shy and found communicating with people outside work, almost impossible. H e had, what he called a 'Prince Charming' personality o n the outside, a very pleasant, smiling, friendly man, but he was strictly outside only, inside was a 'lonely bastard'. H e wanted to have friends. Although he had a g r o u p o f acquaintances and w o u l d g o out with them, he said Ί am always o n the e d g e , o n the outside'. H e remembered his c h i l d h o o d as 'happy and unexciting'. H e thought his difficulties started in adolescence. 'Overnight' he said, Ί became a stroppy teenager, I just wanted to get out. I became bad-tempered and foul.' H e disappointed his parents b y leaving school early and went travelling for over a year. W h e n he returned he worked in a large departmental store and studied for his accountancy exams. H e thought he was popular in the store 'because I was Prince Charming to the customers and worked hard'. H e passed his accountancy exams and almost immediately found himself his present j o b .

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H e said, 'for the first time in m y life, I am earning decent m o n e y , living well and I want out, I just want to leave it all, I mean I just want to disappear'. H e started keeping a journal and got to k n o w his 'Prince Charming' and 'lonely bastard' through drawing and the sandtray. D u r i n g this time he experienced great m o o d swings and was either working hard or sitting at h o m e feeling 'darker and darker'. O n e day when he was writing in his journal he said, Ί was sitting there and I realized Prince Charming was really a w o m a n dressed as a man, and it suddenly clicked, that's h o w I've been feeling, ever since I was a teenager. I've been pretending to b e something I ' m not. A n d I think it's around sex. I ' m not going to pretend anymore. I think I ' m gay and . . . I think . . . I want to d o something about it.' A s he told m e , he was relaxed and calm, his w o r d s came out thoughtfully. His b o d y was still and he was breathing deeply. I c o u l d 'feel' the space between words as he was saying them, there was truth in each w o r d . His words were very grounded and real. H e said that he felt g o o d and strange saying it straight out to m e the way he had. Ί feel I ' m greeting myself for the first time, hello D a v e , ' he repeated 'hello D a v e . ' T h e n there was silence. A long silence full o f space. H e continued, Ί think I disappeared when I was thirteen. It was then I silenced myself and d e c i d e d sex was not for m e . A t school y o u had to be either a m a c h o b o y or a gay, and I didn't want to b e either. Being a m a c h o b o y just wasn't m e . S o I decided to b e a nothing.' I end this example here, as I want only to illustrate h o w the events in adolescence, for D a v e , triggered his ability to receive help. W h e n D a v e arrived to see m e , he knew that he was not being truly himself. I did not need to point that out to him. T h e t w o personas o f 'Prince Charming' and 'lonely bastard' had been his creative strategies for feeling 'a nothing' in life. W h e n D a v e felt confident that w e had both fully accepted the personas o f ' P r i n c e Charming' and the 'lonely bastard', then he c o u l d begin his journey o f integration. H e needed o p e n , accepting, friendly space from m e in order to trust himself to begin the work he wanted to d o . F o r m e this is the essence o f m y understanding o f the transpersonal perspective o f psychotherapy. O n the surface I try to ' d o ' very little. I try to listen to, and accept with an o p e n heart, whatever the client brings to the session. I encourage the client to connect thoughts, feelings with their b o d y , n o w , in the present, and see where those e m b o d i e d feelings can lead. T h e n with a sense o f mutual musing and wondering we can let the process develop.

CONCLUSION There are more things . . . (Shakespeare, Hamlet) A s adults we have to try to understand what is going o n in our unconscious which may b e influencing the way we behave, think and feel. In c h i l d h o o d we c o u l d safely project our hatred o n t o wicked stepmothers and our fears o n t o giants. But adulthood is 'wakeu p ' time. O u r task as adults is to learn to reclaim our projections and understand what is going o n in our process. W e have to embark o n our individual journey to our o w n underworld to reclaim our o w n monsters and treasures. W e need compassionate and mindful p e o p l e to travel with us. W e want c o m p a n i o n s w h o will not leave us at the first

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danger, w h o will accompany us, be alongside us, and w h o , because o f their o w n journey, will b e able to empathize with the joy and pain o f it all. W e need ' u n c o n d i tional friendliness' ( W e l w o o d 1985) from ourselves and from our therapist. In this chapter I have explored s o m e o f the psychological theories, personal and collective myths, and beliefs that accompany the development o f a child and adolescent. T o include all theories and stories would not be possible in this context. T h i s is but a beginning. T h e s e myths, beliefs and stories offer us an understanding o f our o w n human and spiritual development through which the richness o f our spirit and soul and those o f our clients can be revealed. W e need, in our training and practices, to keep developing our compassion and mindfulness so we can learn to look with a friendly eye at the creative, ingenious and extraordinary ways in which we try to find our way through life.

REFERENCES Adler, A. (1964). The Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler. New York: Harper & Row. Bollas, C. (1989). Forces of Destiny. London: Free Assoc. Press. Bowlby, J. (1953). Child Care and the Growth of Love. London: Pelican. Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss, Volume 1. London: Hogarth Press. Bowlby, J. (1973). Attachment and Loss, Volume 2. London: Hogarth Press. Bowlby, J. (1979). The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds. London: Tavistock Publications. Campbell, J. (1987). Creative Mythology. Dallas: Offset Paperback Manufacturers Inc. Department for Education (DfE) (1994). Bullying, dont suffer in silence. London: HMSO. Derricotte, T. (1997). The Black Notebooks. New York and London: W. W. Norton. Frankel, R. (1998). The Adolescent Psyche. London: Routledge. Graves, R. (1992). The Greek Myths. London: Pelican. Greer, G. (1999). The Whole Woman. London: Doubleday. Grof, S. (1975). Realms of the Human Unconscious: observations from LSD research. New York: Penguin. Grof, S. (1990). The Holotropic Mind. San Francisco: HarperCollins. Grof, S. (1993). The Holotrophic Mind. New York: HarperCollins. Johnson, S. (1994). Character Styles. New York: Norton. Jordan, M. (1995). Myths of the World. London: Kyle Cathie. Kohlberg, L. (1976). Moral Development and Behaviour. New York: Holt, Reinhart and Winston. Kohut, H. (1971). The Analysis of the Self. New York: International Universities Press. Kohut, H. (1977). Restoration of the Self. New York: International Universities Press. McCormick, E. (1996). Change for the Better. New York: Cassell. Mahler, M . (1975). The Psychological Birth of the Infant. London: Hutchinson. Miller, A. (1987). The Drama of Being a Child. London: Virago. Moore, T. (1992). Care of the Soul. London: Piatkus. Perera, S. Brinton, (1981). Descent to the Goddess. Toronto: Inner City Books. Piaget, J. (1926). The Language and Thought of the Child. New York: Harcourt Brace.

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Piaget, J. (1932) (1977). The Moral Judgement of the Child. New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich. Stevens, A. (1982). Archetype: a Natural History of the Self London: Routledge. Skynner, R. and Cleese, J. (1983). Families and how to survive them. London: Mandarin. Von Franz, M . (1995). Shadow and Evil in Fairy Tales. Boston and London: Shambhala. Vygotsky, L. (1962). Language and Thought. Cambridge, Mass.: M I T Press. Walker, B. (1996). The Women's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets. New Jersey: Castle. Washburn, M . (1994). Transpersonal Psychology in Psychoanalytic Perspective. New York: State University of New York Press. Welwood, J. (1985). Awakening the Heart. Boston and London: Shambhala. Wilbur, K. (1993). The Spectrum of Consciousness. New York: Quest Books. Winnicott, D . W. (1958a). Birth Memories, Birth Trauma and Anxiety. In Collected Papers (1958). London: Tavistock Publications. Winnicott, D. W. (1958b). Transitional Objects and Transitional Phenomena. In Collected Papers (1958). London: Tavistock Publications. Winnicott, D. W. (1964). The Child, the Family and the Outside World. London: Pelican. Winnicott, D. W . (1965). The Family and Individual Development. London: Tavistock Publications. Woodman, M . (1985). The Pregnant Virgin. Toronto: Inner City Books. Woodman, M . (1996). Dancing in the Flames. Dublin: Gill & Macmillan.

CHAPTER 4

The wound Nigel Wellings What's love got to do with it? (Tina Turner)

Editor's note.- Psychopathology can reduce patterns of human adaptation and suffering into dry terminology, thus limiting our relationship with the many forms of human suffering. While it is necessary to have a firm grasp of developmental processes and a wide understanding of the different responses to environmental hardship and difficulty, it is important to be able to see a patient within their own individual context, with their own unique response and pattern of adjustment. This chapter describes the kinds of woundings to our early development that casts a hold of our personality and shapes character. These woundings can create severe limitations to the flow of human expression, to the development of a strong ego and in particular to the available experience of 'self. They also create characterological movements that make us who we are, link us to our past and bring us into direct relationship with the frustration of archetypal intent. Nigel Wellings offers us a creative and compassionate look at patterns of wounding. In bringing us, sometimes painfully, close to those early responses that become shaped into narcissistic or masochistic wounding, he awakens us into complete equality with the patients with whom we work. Woven into the text is the understanding that the wound also carries the potential for healing. The therapist's understanding and embracing of these potential paths of meeting and healing is at the heart of clinical transpersonal psychotherapeutic practice. E.W.M.

E

ach stage o f life includes separations and pain. T h e way we experience and respond to this is influenced b y our o w n inborn dispositions and the culture we are a member of. In the west there is a belief, a prevailing myth, that pain, unhappiness and suffering may b e alleviated b y psychological health and a sufficiency o f material provision. H o w e v e r this is not the only story. Universally there exist different value systems and with these, different understandings o f the nature o f human suffering. Transpersonal Psychotherapy embraces both occidental and oriental views, c o m b i n i n g the perspectives o f dynamic psychotherapy, a Western m o d e l , and, among others, Buddhist psychology, an Eastern model. In this chapter we will look at human suffering from the Western, psychotherapeutic view and finally consider some spiritual pathologies from the perspectives o f both West and East.

A WORD OF CAUTION Before we start we also need to be aware o f the ambivalence that this subject generates among psychotherapists. Samuels (1989) lists in his introduction the objections that are

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frequently levelled at psychopathologizing. H e says descriptive categories b e c o m e labels that harm the skills o f intuition and listening, merely reflect the mind o f the categorizer, are relative, reflect ethical prejudices, may b e (mis)used politically and fail to reflect the mercurial nature o f the psyche. Furthermore a g o o d pathologist is not necessarily a g o o d therapist. T o these I w o u l d add two m o r e . Firstly, and perhaps most importantly, I have noticed that when w e gain an insight into our nature and its suffering through a story, a myth or a fairy tale, then the feeling o f this insight, makes the person s o m e h o w 'bigger' than they were previous to having it. Contrary to this, when an insight is gained via identification with a psychological theory there is often a background 'taste' o f s o m e h o w being diminished. I am not entirely sure w h y this should b e except to note that the first is an illumination gained b y the recognition o f oneself through the multidimensional lens o f a s y m b o l while the second is through the one-dimensional glass o f a theoretical c o n c e p t . F o r a simple example c o m p a r e the quality o f insight offered b y the immediacy o f the image o f 'Peter Pan' as against 'over prolonged adolescence'. W h i l e they mean the same the former carries a wealth o f emotional richness while the second does not. T h e image o f Peter Pan does m o r e than say it is time to g r o w u p but adds to this prosaic truth the c o m p l e x desires and fears that surround this archetypal transition into adult life. A s Joseph Campbell has said, the s y m b o l ' o p e n s out behind'. H e r e it opens the individual to the archetype o f youth and the glories and sadnesses that this contains and represents. Because o f this seeming truth, all the theoretical concepts that this chapter is constructed from will always b e in danger o f making their subjects, those so labelled, smaller than they were before they were identified through the glass o f whichever description seems to most fit. T h i s is not to say we should not use psychopathological descriptions, but rather every descriptive gain pays the price o f limitation. M y second c o n c e r n is that when we label another with a description o f their w o u n d we can obscure the w h o l e person. W e may easily d o this because many o f us deeply fear mental and emotional pain and instinctively seek to protect ourselves b y making ourselves different from those that have the ' p r o b l e m ' . Labelling, thus may b e used as a distancing defence against our o w n pain reflected in another's. W h i l e this may b e understandable for a person w h o feels vulnerable, for us w h o practise psychotherapy, it is inexcusable. W e need to let the other person in the therapeutic dialogue touch us, sometimes deeply, and k n o w that we and they are both people w h o are similarly engaged in the difficult and strange event o f living. W h i l e w e can usefully find patterns o f experience within p e o p l e ' s lives that will enable us to understand their pain better, we must never forget that we also fit these patterns and that, we and our patients, remain individual mysteries which are m o r e then the sum o f the w o u n d s . W i t h the analytic insight that this chapter provides it is necessary to mix in equal measure a contemplative attitude o f compassionate acceptance that allows the strange other to b e . H e r e clarity o f thought needs to b e tempered with the sensitivity o f the heart.

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F R O M T H E S O W E R A SEED Imagine a seed, perhaps the seed o f a tree floating d o w n to earth. Within this seed is the genetic information from which it can potentially reproduce all the characteristics o f its species. F o r this to actually happen t w o things must also exist, the seed must have access to the environmental factors necessary for growth, the correct soil, space, water and sun. It must also have favourable circumstances, that during its life it is not attacked b y anything that would distort or destroy it. Part o f the seed's potential is adaptability and it will tolerate a band o f less than perfect environmental factors and circumstances. I f the shortfall is sustainable the tree will still thrive and since it is rare to have all its needs met perfectly it will, like all trees, bear happily the marks o f tough years and the damage o f wear and tear. H o w e v e r , as the shortfall increases and the adaptability b e c o m e s increasingly stretched, the tree will either fail to g r o w or will wither and perish. W e are just the same. W e t o o have our optimal needs and when they are denied, w e also wither and perish. A l s o , like the tree, we are adaptable and this ability includes being able to find meaning in the frustration o f our needs so that circumstances that cause pain may b e c o m e circumstances that also give us experience that is ultimately viewed as valuable.

S Y M P T O M AS S Y M B O L Transpersonal Psychology is primarily interested in the process o f our potential finding the m a x i m u m expression and the creative adaptions necessary to fit the limits life sets; this is the tension within the individuation process. T h e s e areas o f frustration are o f particular interest because they are frequently the very same areas that, involving struggle, finally bring out the best in us. F o r this reason the painful distortions that w e sometimes have to make to survive, the places o f stuckness, the areas o f neurosis, are not viewed as a w o u n d to b e r e m o v e d b y finding a ' c u r e ' but rather as a gateway into o u r o w n unique expression o f human possibility. T h e neurosis, the w o u n d is, in itself, the psyche's attempt to heal itself. T h e particular qualities or s y m p t o m s are simultaneously symbols for what is required for healing. Simplistically, the heart that suffers an attack may also b e the same that needs to break o p e n to m o r e intimate relationship. O f course, this is difficult to hear when we want the pain to stop but listening to s o m e o n e w h o has found meaning and c o m e to peace with terrible suffering is usually sufficient evidence o f h o w out o f pain may c o m e something priceless. Stories that connect the w o u n d and the healing in the person o f the ' w o u n d e d healer' are not u n c o m m o n . A t the beginning o f European medicine is found the Greek story o f the centaur Chiron w h o like the Grail K i n g b o r e an unhealing w o u n d . T o Chiron A p o l l o sent his son Asclepios to b e taught the healing arts and from this Asclepios established his sleep cure o f purificatory bathing followed b y dreaming. T h i s incubation (literally, lying on the g r o u n d ) , a b r o o d i n g o n and heating o f the u n c o n scious, would then p r o d u c e a 'cure'. Again the ancient arts o f shamanism seem to have been practised b y those w h o bore physical and psychological w o u n d s , and w h o , as in the Asclepion cure, would travel from o n e world to the next in search o f the lost soul,

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the cause o f the illness. T h e s e original shaman, medicine m e n and w o m e n , the native d o c t o r s , seem to have m u c h in c o m m o n despite the physical distances between them. F r o m them we can see that they formulated a study o f the soul's suffering ( p s y c h o pathology) that has essentially remained intact.

S O U L L O S S , SPIRIT POSSESSION, T H E O R I G I N A L PSYCHOPATHOLOGY Forest E. Clements (1932) has distinguished five categories o f healing that native d o c t o r s use. T h e s e include soul restoration, the intrusion o f a disease, an (evil) spirit and aggressive sorcery that each require exorcism and lastly, the breaking o f a taboo that requires confession and atonement. D r A n t o n y Stevens (1993) has suggested that these may b e further reduced to t w o 'archetypal'

illnesses; soul loss and spirit

possession, 'something has got o u t ' and 'something has got in'. F o l l o w i n g Stevens w e learn that soul loss most closely resembles what w e w o u l d call depression. D e p r e s s i o n is typified b y a loss o f the vital spark, the soul. W h e n we suffer this w e experience feelings o f hopelessness, apathy and agitated anxiety. O u r natural appetites for f o o d , sleep and sex are lost and replaced b y a sense o f alienation from our vital selves. T h e cure for this is the restoration o f the soul and it is interesting that the ancestral m e t h o d s o f shamanism and contemporary psychotherapy still use similar m e t h o d s to effect this. W h i l e the original healers w o u l d g o o n a journey into the underworld o n their patients' behalf, there to negotiate or battle for the soul's return, we enter the underworld, the u n c o n s c i o u s , with o u r patients, via the dream, the active imagination and the transference and alongside them make the same struggle. Both m e t h o d s involve tracking the lost life force and identifying when it was lost and what continues to keep it so. Spirit possession, something having got in, is m o r e c o m p l e x . Here it may be an illness, an evil spirit o r an antagonistic act o f sorcery. In all these events the underlying idea is that there is something out there that causes harm if it gets into o u r bodies. Put plainly, w e can immediately see that this continues as the guiding myth within m o d e r n western m e d i c i n e as well as the universal understanding o f healers since earliest times. Apart from the material truth o f this, as in bacterial and viral infections, there is also a sense w h i c h suggests a world where it is necessary to remain ever vigilant for something b e y o n d our control taking over. W h a t that may be can range from overwhelming others to o u r o w n aggressive feelings (placed in others because we dare not recognize them in ourselves), reflected back and then felt as persecutory. T h a t is, we feel threatened b y our o w n projected shadow. T h e healing for this is traditionally returning the bad thing back to where it b e l o n g s . In psychotherapy this means accepting that which is mine as mine and thereby n o longer needing the paranoid and obsessional behaviours that were previously used to keep this reality at bay. It is sobering to note that this is an ailment that possesses the entire w o r l d , mirrored in the archetypal image o f the dangerous outsider and stranger. T h e last category, the breaking o f taboo which requires confession and atonement is almost in the 'something has got in' g r o u p because we are invaded by feelings o f guilt

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and these may only be placed outside ourselves at a cost. T h e deal includes confession for forgiveness and this still represents an element o f therapeutic experience. W e put the guilty and shameful parts o f ourselves out into the therapeutic vessel where the non-judgemental

attitude o f the therapist may enable us to find forgiveness for

ourselves and others. Catharsis (literally, purification), placing outside b y speech, writing, drawing and painting or whatever means, are our m o d e r n equivalents o f the ancient rituals o f purification by water and fire. Is it any surprise that these expressions often c o m e in floods o f tears and vicious anger?

T H E T O O F R A G I L E E G O A N D T H E T O O RIGID E G O F o l l o w i n g o n from here we may begin to look at the soul's suffering from perspective o f contemporary dynamic psychotherapy. Transpersonal

the

Psychotherapy

accepts, with other psychotherapeutic schools, the research o f developmental p s y c h o l o g y that has continued, altered and rejected s o m e o f the earlier theoretical m o d e l s . W e can begin to understand this b y building u p o n the two archetypal w o u n d s , soul loss and spirit possession, from the above section. H e r e they b e c o m e the patterns o f e g o w o u n d i n g that may o c c u r when a combination o f inborn disposition, not g o o d enough parenting and external circumstances c o m b i n e . T o understand this it is first necessary to return to Edinger's idea showing h o w during the course o f a lifetime the personal sense o f identity, the e g o , emerges out o f the totality o f the person, the Self, continues in its differentiation until at the m i d p o i n t o f life e g o and Self are at their most separate and then, as life m o v e s to its close, e g o is o n c e again slowly subsumed within the Self, but this time, consciously. O f course this is an ideal picture that life usually only approximates at best, however there is enough truth in it to make it useful. It is against this ideal possibility that the w o u n d s to the soul's journey, or more prosaically, the disruption to the ego's development, are set. Ideally, the perfectly healthy ego would b e entirely in balance between having sufficient strength so that it contained the shadow and not b e c o m e identified with its contents o n the o n e hand and sufficient permeability so that the shadow may inform and renew it on the other. A n d at each stage o f the journey that Edinger describes it w o u l d b e phase appropriate. T h a t is, during the first half o f life the e g o w o u l d b e c o m e m o r e separate and differentiated from its o w n unconscious ground and also from other egos and in the latter half it w o u l d gradually melt and o p e n as it perceived its archetypal nature, the Self. H o w e v e r , for most, this remains an ideal and w e b e c o m e stuck o n o n e side o r the other, in o n e or another phase. T h e s e w o u n d s may be o n c e again placed within t w o basic categories: t o o fragile an ego and too rigid an e g o .

Too Fragile If our e g o does not properly emerge from the Self, that is the e g o is t o o fragile, then w e shall experience a life o f being overwhelmed b y the contents o f the collective and personal unconscious. In an extreme case this may be expressed in a psychotic illness where the e g o is incapable o f differentiating between the great mythic themes that run

THE WOUND 79 through each o f us at a collective level and our o w n individual and human part in them. H a v i n g this experience will make functioning in the w o r l d very difficult and emotional relationships virtually impossible. A t a less severe level a rudimentary e g o , sometimes called a weak e g o , will b e vulnerable to any stress because it is likely to regress under the strain w h i c h again is to be o v e r w h e l m e d b y the contents o f the unconscious. Living with such an e g o needs a lot o f defensive structures to keep the danger o f fragmentation and annihilation at bay and so will be socially limited. F r o m the shamanic perspective this w o u l d c o m e under spirit possession because the rudimentary and vulnerable e g o will experience the u n c o n s c i o u s as something attacking and invading from outside. Descriptions o f typical psychotic delusions repeatedly confirm this.

T o o Rigid If w e have t o o rigid an e g o then w e will exclude the unconscious and its ability to nourish and renew consciousness. H e r e the e g o may b e c o m e inflated with its o w n importance, placing t o o great a value o n rationality and control. Behaving as if there is nothing but e g o consciousness will inflame the unconscious and we will d e v e l o p an unhealthy tension between e g o and shadow. T h i s process accelerates itself so that the e g o progressively denies m o r e and m o r e o f itself and consequently defends less and less space. Emotionally we b e c o m e brittle, obsessive and incapable o f connecting with feeling, the imagination, the unconscious. Indeed all o f these may b e c o m e viewed as the e n e m y within that must b e defended against with rigid structures. Shamanically this is a loss o f soul, not necessarily overtly depressed but closed to the anima and vitality o f the Self. T o g e t h e r , these t w o ways o f viewing e g o w o u n d s begin to form a m e t h o d for understanding and responding to the pain others bring us. T h o s e in the fragile ego g r o u p need help to f o r m a m o r e secure and confident sense o f identity that is robust e n o u g h to repress o v e r w h e l m i n g feelings that threaten to annihilate it. T y p i c a l l y fragile e g o w o u n d s o c c u r at the earliest stages o f development. T h o s e with t o o dense an e g o need to find a way to c o n n e c t with the repressed areas and find the gold within the lead, and so reconnect with a sense o f vitality lost o n the path to socialization. T y p i c a l l y rigid ego w o u n d s are dealt with later. T h e next section takes this approach and explores it m o r e fully.

ARCHETYPAL EXPECTATIONS H e r e w e assume a set o f innate unconscious physical and psychological expectations that were evolved over the millions o f years as w e slowly grew from the most primitive organism to finally emerge as primates. T h e s e expectations are o f a physical and emotional environment that we inhabited for the majority o f our time as n o m a d i c hunter-gatherers before entering settled urban communities. T h i s is something we tend to forget; if a day represented the history o f mankind then only in the closing ninety s e c o n d s have w e stopped being small, cohesive groups m o v i n g endlessly across

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the land. L i k e all animals we are adapted to fit our ecological niche and any failure in this relationship causes a dysfunction to the entire system. It is only o u r spectacular adaptability as a species that enables us to continue, and in many ways thrive, under the stress o f losing our original Eden. T h e expectations are also systems because they express themselves in c o m p l e x patterns o f interaction and also archetypes because they are found universally as innate ordering processes. H o w e v e r the systems o f archetypal expectations only b e c o m e realized if life provides the necessary circumstances for their expression. It is like the seed. It may carry the potential to be a tree but will only realize this if circumstances permit. S o what are these archetypal systems? D r A n t o n y Stevens (1982), building on the work o f C . G . Jung ( 1 9 3 6 / 7 , 1954), has suggested the first is care giving and receiving and is represented by the archetypal images o f mother and child. T h e next is competition and dominance represented b y archetypal images o f the powerful, the heroes and their struggles. T o this we may add pair b o n d i n g , represented by images o f the c o u p l e , their copulation and procreation. N e x t , the understanding o f maturity and finally old age and death. It is here that experience generates w i s d o m and images o f the wise man and woman represent this stage symbolically. Lastly, our special ability to create pathways o f understanding that lead us b e y o n d the confines o f our lives and to have specialist assistance o n the path, is represented b y the image o f the shaman, the magician, the yogi, the seer, the priest and their female counterparts. T h i s is not a c o m p l e t e list. Each o f these large systems may be divided into smaller groupings and still remain sufficiently general to remain archetypal, and each o f these have vast amounts o f symbols representing their c o m p l e x contents. O f course we n o longer live within our optimal environmental niche and probably most o f us would not even survive were w e returned to it. Also our adaptability has enabled us to sustain an enormous amount o f stress as the environment we have g r o w n to expect is denied. N o w in a world that the ancestral self can hardly recognize w e still continue with the same archetypal systems: we still g r o w in families, find partners and have children, grow old and die. W e depend u p o n belonging to a group that has its place and we are suspicious and aggressive to any other that threatens any o f these circumstances. W e instinctively feel there is m o r e to life than what is visible. In danger w e fight, flee or faint. A s with the tree though, there c o m e s a point where the stress o f these not being met sufficiently begins to cause pain, stasis and finally breakdown that happens o n all levels. T h i s is to experience, what Stevens has called, 'frustration o f archetypal intent'. T h i s frustration o f the expression o f our innate possibilities may b e seen as a cause for the entire range and depth o f psychological problems and adds another level to understanding wounds in addition to them forming around specific and discrete traumas. A s such, if we can identify precisely which aspects o f our archetypal e n d o w m e n t remain frustrated b y denied expression then w e have a p o w e r ful diagnostic tool b y which to understand our suffering.

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C H A R T I N G A R C H E T Y P A L F R U S T R A T I O N FOR CLINICAL USE O n e way to apply this practically is to construct a chart that compares what we ideally expected, p r o m p t e d b y our archetypal e n d o w m e n t , and what life actually provided. The

time to d o this w o u l d b e perhaps when looking at a life history, alone or with a

patient. M y preference is with the patient because not only does the patient make connections, when involved, that I usually w o u l d not have thought of, but they also frequently c o m e u p with improvements and innovations that extend the m e t h o d . F o r instance, drawings and quotes in addition to writing events can make the w h o l e thing richer or in the case o f twins, both constructing a chart independently and then making a comparison. As we will see in the next section, the archetypal expectations at the start o f life are particularly c r o w d e d since it is during this time that massive and condensed learning enables the rapid d e v e l o p m e n t o f the person. W e have an e n o r m o u s amount o f need that must b e met sufficiently if we are to grow. T o incorporate this in the suggested chart I have included developmental stages, here called instinct, and placed these against general archetypal constellations, here called image. Against these is an illustrative clinical history to demonstrate h o w the actual deviates from the ideal. T o gain a general idea o f the areas o f the person that remain or have been repressed in the shadow it is only necessary to see what expectations have not been realized in life b y c o m p a r i n g the t w o sides.

Example In this imaginary example we meet a w o m a n o f 32 years o f age w h o has t w o children and is recently separated from her husband. Both parents are dead, her mother suffering recurring bouts o f depression that finally end in her suicide. She is intelligent, imaginative and sensitive but rather shy and has a tendency to withdraw.

Her

confidence is l o w and she often makes choices that d o not serve her best interest. She is not really sure w h o she is. H e r ' s o u l ' history looks like this: Archetype Image T h e Self. Images of wholeness. A n i m a . Images of T h e Great Mother and Child. T h e Divine Child. T h e Hermaphrodite. The Shadow. Images of threatening other.

Age

Life events

0

Post-natal depression. Mother and child alienated.

Instinct

Emerge and receive nourishment. Attachment.

6 months Separation continues containing ambivalence.

Problems with feeding and sleeping. Mother absent with illness.

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Age

Archetype Image

1 4 months

Brothers and Sisters. Hero/heroine. T h e Animus. Images of T h e Great Father. The Trickster.

Further differentiation, self-assertion as separate person with o w n character.

Anima/animus. Images of the lovers. Images of taboo and forbidden fruits.

Explore wider range of relationships. Sex, competition and love.

A

Consolidation period. 'Latency'.

Mother returns.

1 8 months 2 years

3 years

Twins arrive. Brother born. Sent to stay with Grandparents.

4 years

Play school. Shy.

5 years

School. Illness. Away for six months. Return out of step with other girls. Father away at work all week.

9 years

Patch, dog, dies. Win prize for piano playing. Grandma dies.

1 1 years

New school, separated from best friend. Wrong uniform detail.

Adolescence Above continues. Anima/animus re-constellate. Puer/puella. Hero re-constellates. Initiation motifs. Shadow reconstellates. Same-sex groupings.

Life events

Instinct

Further separation. Peer grouping. Enter sexual maturity.

1 4 years

Start menstruation. Very afraid. Meet Ms. Smith, piano teacher, very kind.

Father away now returns. Encourages work. Takes me out to visit galleries.

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Archetype Image

Age

83

Life events

Instinct

Shared-sex groupings.

A n i m a / a n i m u s reconstellate. Images of young King & Q u e e n . Mother re-constellates. Father re-constellates. Hero re-constellates.

King & Q u e e n . Mother & Father reconstellate.

Pair bonding, children

1 5 / 1 6 years

Do well in exams. No boyfriend, but much admired second cousin.

1 7 / 1 8 years

A levels. Do very well in arts subjects. First boyfriend.

Adult University, split up with first boy friend. Get into drugs. Series of unsatisfactory relationships. 2 2 years

Father dies of heart failure. Mother in deep depression & drinking. Twins go round the world.

2 5 years

Settle in new job. Like it, place of belonging. Meet John, husband to be.

2 6 years

Pregnant & marry John. Mother commits suicide. First child born, move for John's work to America.

3 1 years

John has an affair during second pregnancy.

3 2 years

Separate. Left to support myself. Return to work.

Establishing place in social hierarchy.

Mid-life M a t u r e King & Queen. A n i m a / a n i m u s , reconstellate. Images of spiritual calling.

Possible opening to transpersonal experience.

Not applicable in example.

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Age

Archetype

Life events

Instinct

Image

Maturity Senex, Crone, The Androgyne.

Representative of group memory & w i s d o m . 'Spiritual life'.

As above. Images of death similar to birth. Rebirth. The Self.

Separation from the world. Preparation for death.

Not applicable.

Old Age Not applicable.

Note: the archetype per se is only known via its image and instinct and the images here are not intended to be a complete list, but rather the 'core' or central images that the multitude of 'secondary' images illustrate.

Constructing the Chart On

the left o f the chart w e have the core archetypal images that represents each stage

o f life and the archetypal instinct that governs the typical experiences and actions at that time. It is important to remember that the archetypes are all continuously present throughout an individual's life time and that they are re-activated, or constellate, at each different stage or phase as appropriate. F o r example, the anima is first felt in the maternal relationship, later with Father, later still with the partner and

finally

internally in the marriage o f opposites. In the centre is age, those figures or periods marked in b o l d being generally significant times o f transition, the others times are o f personal importance for the patient. O n the right w e have the patient's life events, the story o f their life. W h i l e the archetypal information remains the same, the personal material will obviously differ from person to person. In practice it is only necessary to record the history and in your o w n mind hold the archetypal phases. H o w e v e r i f y o u find it hard to d o this at first and want to write the entire thing out for each person it would b e better to d o this alone so as not to falsely convey to your patient that there is a way they should b e that they have failed. In our example, comparing the archetypal potential o n the left against the actual experience o n the right, we will see a number o f places where the possibilities are not realized completely. O u r patient has made a p o o r attachment to her mother and has been unable to receive sufficient nourishment from her. A t the time when she expects to begin to g r o w away, eighteen months o n , she is unsure o f the ill and absent mother and remains anxious and unconfident in her separation. Sibling births and being sent away d o nothing to strengthen this. Subsequent steps deepen this underlying anxiety and depression and it is only in adolescence that a positive female image is finally found in the music teacher and with Father's return, as long as it fits his work ethos, she has value also in his eyes. Later relationships, boyfriends and husband, tend to repeat b o t h the experience o f emotional deprivation and absence. T h e final betrayal at vulnerable period o f her pregnancy echoes the abandonment b y M o t h e r at birth.

the

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Therapeutically approaching this painful and tragic life story we need to identify those archetypal expectations that remain unrealized or partially met. W e can see that her experience o f being mothered and fathered are b o t h less than adequate. She has been left insecure in her sense o f self and her ability to make strong emotional attachments, that are not c o n d i t i o n e d b y earlier infantile needs, is p o o r . Furthermore, these areas o f painful c o m p l e x have repeated themselves in the patterns o f her life and so she is in danger o f further cementing herself in the unconscious expectations that life can o n l y b e the way she already knows it. T h a t she has entered therapy represents an o p e n i n g in this structure and the h o p e that she may find a better way o f being. In practice w e ask ourselves the question ' W h a t has she missed in her life that archetypally she w o u l d e x p e c t ? ' . T h e answer to this then forms the contents o f her shadow. G i v e n this example, where so m u c h c o u l d b e in the shadow, as therapist, we may need to constellate areas o f experience that w o u l d compensate the schizoid (unsafe to enter the w o r l d ) , oral (undernourished), self disorders (inability to separate), self in relationship (inability to independently relate), w o u n d s that she is likely to carry. ( F o r a fuller description o f this approach see the next section o n character styles.) Finally, r e m e m ber that all o f this is tentative until the evidence bears it out. W h i l e we can get a shrewd idea o f h o w things may have been, p e o p l e remain different and unexpected and the events that harm o n e may cause another to thrive. H o w e v e r , using this m o d e l in conjunction with an understanding o f the different personality structures, or 'character styles', it is possible to gain a detailed general understanding o f the psyche's needs and what to expect when they are not met and also h o w best to repair therapeutically

what has been damaged. T h e r e are

different

arrangements o f these which are rewarding to c o m p a r e (see particularly K u r t z 1970), h o w e v e r these here are based closely o n the work o f Stephen M . Johnson (1994) and use his descriptive categorizations for the sake o f consistency.

CHARACTER STYLES W h e n considering frustration o f archetypal intent w e think o f human life having typical needs that require fulfilment for optimal health. T h e s e include the needs o f the infant, the child, the adolescent, the y o u n g and mature adult, the old and the dying. Failure to meet these needs contributes to p r o b l e m s ranging from severe deprivation, called personality disorders, to milder suffering, which may b e called 'character styles', and d e p e n d i n g o n the depth and earliness o f the w o u n d an individual will be able to manage better o r worse with the adversities o f life. Because o f this, identification o f these w o u n d s and finding therapeutic responses that help heal them, is a central c o n c e r n o f all schools o f psychotherapy. H e r e 'character' is used to mean both c o n s c i o u s and unconscious parts o f the entire personality. Persona, e g o and shadow. Each character style reflects a typical 'basic existential human issue', or archetypal expectation which starts early in life and continues within different contexts until death. T r a u m a and frustrations that deny these expectations are met with c o p i n g mechanisms, called defences, that are available at the time, thus a toddler meeting frustration o f its need for a joyous assertion o f ' N o ! ' ,

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unable to express itself in the face o f subduing parents, may eventually turn to the stubborn defence o f masochism. A t the time these adaptions make perfect sense and are expressions o f the intelligence and adaptability o f nature, however in time they b e c o m e counter-productive and trap their originator in painful and inappropriate ways o f being because they tend to be rigid and resistant to change. It is, however, also important not to imagine that if a perfect mother existed she would be able to rear an 'unfrustrated' child w h o then would be without problems. T h e very nature o f life makes it impossible to answer every need and so every child does and indeed must experience frustration o f its archetypal expectations. It seems that part o f our adaption to the emotional environment that we find ourselves inhabiting, is to internalize rapidly the limits this enforces upon us and so limit ourselves. T h u s the frustration is not only caused b y the environment but also by the rapidly developing ego that immediately starts to construct a shadow by rejecting aspects o f the total possibilities available. F o r instance think o f a plains Native American mother w h o o n c e would have taught her baby not to cry for its o w n safety. T h e archetypal disposition includes the instinct to cry, signalling needs, but the baby must quickly adapt to the social/emotional environment if it is to survive by repressing, into the shadow, its desire to cry. T h u s our ability to align ourselves with the environment is also the thing that sets us against ourselves. W h e n this is extreme (within the measurement o f the individual) it creates psychopathologies that can and d o exist for an entire lifetime. It is a tension between, on the one hand, the ultimately irrepressible archetypal expectation, manifest as instinctual needs, and on the other, the internalized blocking that maintains the original frustration. L e t us n o w look in detail at the character styles that represent the w o u n d s along the path o f life. All timings are at best approximate and all phases overlap.

The Schizoid Character Key theme: Annihilating universe. Age: Intra-uterine, birth, up to three months. Imagine entering the world as a new born infant to experience mother as insensitive, c o l d , distant, possibly abusive. A mother w h o perhaps is depressed and deeply resents her baby or w h o is herself desperately frightened and traumatized. W e may feel unwelcome and in peril and because our experience in that m o m e n t is total and stretches endlessly in time, we may feel in danger o f annihilation. O u r only defence against this is to withdraw into and relate with our internal imaginai world. H o w e v e r , returning to hide in the w o m b is not a viable option and w e may not avoid, as we continue to grow in years, increasing social interaction. F o r us this is exceptionally painful, emotions and intimacy have only ever been experienced as life threatening and so all interaction later carries this threat. W e may be anxious, avoid attachment, and be out o f touch with our feelings and so appear cold and distant. T h e felt maternal attack is not only internalized, so o n e attacks oneself and is self destructive, but is also directed at others, so o n e is likewise disengaged and distantly abusive. In our o w n mind w e continue to live alone absorbed in our o w n fantasy. Abstraction, imagination and

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intellectual spirituality are all valued because they are a refuge from the pain o f feeling. A s such they are defences for a fragile e g o that needs to drift off, to withdraw emotionally, to project feelings into others or d e n y them, to intellectualize, to 'spiritualize', to forget personal history. W h e n w e feel in danger we will disappear out o f our bodies. Beneath this level, the shadow that must b e defended against, whispers o f the first experiences o f life, the undefined limitless threat, the not knowing if this is outside or perhaps within oneself, that it is we w h o are wicked and cruel. H e r e we say to ourselves, 'Everything may kill m e , I could destroy others, I have n o right to exist, only leaving the world has value'. A n d those outside view us as hard to approach, possibly cold and sadistic. In extremes there is little human warmth or understanding, n o real intimacy that relationship may b e built around. Herman Hesse has described this w o u n d in his novel, Steppenwolf. H e r e the character Harry lives an outwardly grey, controlled life, avoiding emotional contact while inwardly his fantasy world contains the terrifying psychodelia o f the magic theatre. W h e n trying to b e alongside this profound w o u n d the central issue is safety. W i t h n o personal history o f containment, security and nurture the baby has only archetypal experience. Initially, the c o m b i n e d experience o f mother and child, equalled the entire universe for an eternity o f time. Here images o f nourishing, fecund goddesses represent our sense o f being held within this mothering person's care, while images o f her as devouring d e m o n e s s portray an opposite story. F o r the schizoid w o u n d it is necessary to evoke an experience o f the archetypal goddess w h o b e c o m e s an individual mother, w h o w e l c o m e s the child into the world, within the therapeutic relationship. T h e therapy must primarily b e experienced as safe and supportive. It provides a place where terror does not cause dissociation and it is safe to have a b o d y and b e in relationship

with another outside o f oneself. O n c e there is something safe and

pleasurable to stand in, o n c e we have begun to inhabit our b o d y , it b e c o m e s safer to contact feelings. Enjoyment, emotionality, sensuality and physicality are important because they pleasurably define an individual self in relation to another. T h e s e will need naming so that they are n o longer felt as overwhelming. A l s o they make way for the m o r e dangerous feelings o f terror, rage and grief that have been defended against. T e r r o r may turn eventually to appropriate fear and awe, while the rage must be placed where it belongs in the original circumstances and not displaced inappropriately. Finally the grief o f the d e e p tragedy that not only hurts the child but also the failing mother and all those trapped before her in equally dysfunctional relations, may be felt. O n c e this begins intimacy is a possibility and we can take our place in the world without fear. The Oral Character Key Theme: N o u r i s h m e n t needs unmet. Age: 0 to approximately \ \ years. Immediately after birth the n e w b o r n infant has need o f physical and emotional nourishment. H o w e v e r i f the mothering carer is incapable o f responding to this need, perhaps because she herself is also very needy, then the baby will give up o n its o w n

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need before it has been satisfied. Later, o n c e adult, this person will remain either obviously needy and dependent or alternatively will attempt to compensate the need within a persona o f caring for others' needs, an attempt that usually fails. In Tibetan Buddhist c o s m o l o g y there is a hell realm populated b y beings called H u n g r y G h o s t s , w h o have tiny mouths, long, thin necks and vast distended bellies, and are tortured b y their inability to satisfy their hunger. T h i s is an accurate image o f the feel o f this w o u n d . A t core we are empty, valueless and desperate. O u r o w n needs never seem to be met because w e fail to either recognize them and ask for help or we fail to recognize the nourishment when it is offered. T w o possible routes are left to us, we either can remain endearingly clinging and dependent, in the h o p e o f eliciting feeding from s o m e o n e , or w e can compensate and b e c o m e sweet, kind and helpful and so give to others what w e ourselves want. T h i s self denial or identification with other dependent souls typically results in a sort o f collapsed personality that is vulnerable to illness and depression. D u r i n g these frequent periods o f collapse, it is at least possible to have legitimately what o n e deep d o w n longs for, the experience o f being central and cared for. H o w e v e r , this is only permissible at the expense o f living a life o f emotional starvation, and suffering feelings o f guilt and worthlessness. T o keep the pain distant we defend ourselves either b y pushing away feelings that would tell us h o w w e really feel deep d o w n or b y giving to others what w e ourselves want. Denial o f our need, projecting our need into others, and repeating the experience o f the original mothering, b y turning against ourselves, are all ways o f fending o f f the fundamental emptiness and rage. T o this is added an inflated sense o f responsibility for others' needs that makes sure that o n e ' s o w n are seldom noticed. Inside the voice says Ί d o n ' t need anyone, I can look after m y s e l f , and deeper still, Ί am nothing, I am unlovable, m y needs will c o n s u m e the universe if I let them out'. A n d to s o m e extent this is true. W h e n w e are like this it is c o m m o n for others to feel that there is nothing they can d o to satisfy us, that we never have enough and that they are s o m e h o w at fault for not providing. Eventually these others may turn away when they feel the d e e p fury that rages at the experience o f maternal deprivation and the relentless intention to get mother (and her later substitutes) to give the nourishment she was intended for. Sadly, as with most w o u n d s , in their unconscious attempts at healing, they often create the circumstance o f their original making. W h e n w e work with this w o u n d in ourselves and others, as with the schizoid w o u n d , it is necessary to establish a m o r e nourishing relationship with our b o d y and feelings. Inhabiting our b o d y and connecting to and strengthening its energy runs parallel to encouraging the expression o f the real needs that have remained repressed. Feelings o f pain, longing, abandonment despair and rage and also real love for the mother are worked through along with the fear that such expression will be punished b y further abandonment. Within ourselves we ultimately must n o w take responsibility for our o w n nourishment, whoever was originally at fault, and this means b e c o m i n g conscious o f h o w w e continue, unconsciously, to maintain the starvation (probably in a field o f plenty). T h e compensated persona o f Ί am here for y o u ' and ' M u m m y ' s little helper', the looking after o f everyone's needs but our o w n , must be let g o o f and the deeper feelings o f need and resentment beneath released. W e need to k n o w that w e d o have a right to receive love, care and attention without having to entirely sacrifice ourselves

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and that w e can legitimately reach out and ask for it without punishment. W e also need to k n o w that n o w there is n o o n e person w h o will, alone, give us everything that the infant within us wants, and that w e are n o w responsible for answering our o w n needs appropriately from a n u m b e r o f sources. T h i s perhaps is the most difficult part because it means facing the great sadness that n o w w e are never going to get exactly what w e want and because this is so profoundly painful it is sometimes easier to rage and protest than finally accept the truth o f the inevitable. H o w e v e r , while w e must rage and despair it is also necessary to d e v e l o p all the abilities to strengthen self nourishment, to ask and to receive, with the ability to take refusal without a regression into the w o u n d . T h e r e is a world outside, though not a cornucopia, that is generally willing to give in a fair and equal exchange. O n c e w e have c o m e into the w o r l d , incarnated, literally entered the flesh, it is then necessary to separate from our mother and begin to establish an independent identity. T h i s begins at o n c e , leaving the w o m b being the most concrete o f separations, and is furthered b y o u r first faltering m o v e m e n t s away and growing ability to speak and say 'no!'. F o r this to b e possible w e need to b e encouraged in a full range o f self-expressions that are appropriately mirrored and also sufficiently curtailed so that w e also k n o w that with p o w e r c o m e s limitation. Failure to have this experience causes 'self disorders' that result in an alienation o f our deeper feelings from h o w w e have to appear to survive. O u r parents in all cases have used us to fulfil their agendas and so great was the need that w e entered a confusion where their needs overwhelmed our o w n . T h i s is called a separation o f the 'real s e l f from the survival or 'false s e l f , and shows itself in the following three character styles.

T h e S y m b i o t i c Character Key Theme: S m o t h e r e d , fused. Age: Emerging 15 to 24 months and continuing. In many ways the symbiotic w o u n d is similar to the compensated oral w o u n d , both share the p r o b l e m o f losing themselves in another. H o w e v e r to understand the basic difference it is necessary to remember that the oral w o u n d concerns malnourishment and is a p r o b l e m o f finding a start in the w o r l d , while the symbiotic concerns a denial o f self-assertion and is therefore developmentally later in sequence. A difference between before and after the first eighteen months, but with an o b v i o u s cross over period. A n o t h e r possible confusion is that the w o r d ' s y m b i o t i c ' is also used to describe a state o f (theoretically contentious) union between an infant and its mother that exists at birth. T h i s is not the period w e are speaking o f here. I f w e bear a symbiotic w o u n d our parents are likely to be experienced as blocking and inhibiting o u r exploration o f the world and our ability to affect it. Behaviours that seek separation, express aggression and want self-determination are met with either withdrawal or punishment, while behaviour that continues d e p e n d e n c y and identification with the parents is rewarded. Both responses are equally discouraging and finally create in us the need to forgo our natural separation and remain merged within our parents. T o enter this world we only have to remember the child w h o longs for the

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dangerous joy o f walking along a wall while the fearful parent clings or even refuses permission from fear for the child's safety. H e r e the balance must be struck: enough care and safety balanced with enough letting g o and toleration o f anxiety. F o r a person with a symbiotic w o u n d the question is always ' W h o am I ? ' , for our sense o f identity is weakened and we cannot easily separate what w e feel and think from that o f intimate others in our lives. T h i s fear o f loss o f identity, giving rise to a compensating need for rigid distancing may then in turn create a fear o f isolation and abandonment. T h i s also leads to problems with being over-responsible for others' needs (as with the compensated oral w o u n d ) , as w e live to serve them. T h e established defences o f denying and projecting difficult feelings into others continue as does a third early defence called 'splitting'. W h e n we d o not have confidence in our mother's love or the benevolence o f the world, we will not dare, for fear o f rejection and abandonment, to protest when our desires for nourishment, and then later, separation, are not met. Since it is impossible for all desires to b e met, in every child's life there c o m e s a time when it must recognize that the giving and withholding mother are one. W h e n the insecure infant reaches this point, unable to express both its gratitude and aggression, it splits them so that only the loving side is shown, with a quality o f appeasement, and the frustrated angry feelings are repressed within the shadow. T h e same process is also used for the image o f the parent. W e imagine them as entirely g o o d and that their withholding part, the 'bad', is a result o f our o w n badness and so not part o f them. In this way the insecure child ends u p carrying not only its o w n repressed angry feelings but also feels responsible for the failures o f the parent. B y this means experience o f the parent as the fulfiller o f desires and also the source o f frustration is avoided, as is the experience o f ourselves as both loving and aggressive. H o w e v e r the cost o f this splitting is having hidden feelings o f being bad, worthless and guilty, deep d o w n inside, while appearing loving and obliging o n the surface. Furthermore, the repressed feelings o f rage, engendered b y our unmet nourishment needs, being unconscious, may then b e projected back into our mother w h o will then b e felt as attacking. T h i s then reinforces the worthlessness (for w e are also responsible for this), and the l o o p is closed. Likewise, later relations with the world retain this immature perception that serves the purpose o f not having to recognize the m o r e realistic but sobering reality that not only the o n e w h o loves m e retains ambivalent feelings about m e but also I share in them. T h a t oneself, others, and experience generally, is not all g o o d or bad but that it usually contains both in a middle ground. A n d so, halted before the fear o f ambivalence (for if I am in any way unloving I may be even less l o v e d ) , fearful o f sacrificing the ideal for the ' g o o d e n o u g h ' , w e continue identified with the parental needs and our real needs 'slip o u t ' around the edge o f our lives in manipulation and stubborn resistance, the self expressions o f the devoured. W o r k o n the w o u n d will essentially revolve around the issues o f closeness and distance. T h e aim is to start and support the stalled process o f separation. W e need to stop living our lives for others, put d o w n the obligation, and begin to think and feel for ourselves without having to take reference from another. W e also have to d o this without being o v e r c o m e b y guilt that we are s o m e h o w hurting others b y d o i n g so or that w e will b e punished b y others with abandonment. Self-expression is at the heart o f

THE WOUND 91 this and everything that encourages self discovery and personal tastes is desirable. A l s o getting the personal and ancestral histories straight is important because it clarifies what belongs to w h o m and h o w patterns o f w o u n d i n g are handed d o w n through the generations. All this strengthens and differentiates an individual sense o f self in the greater collective self o f the family. A s work continues it will also b e c o m e necessary to identify h o w w e unconsciously maintain identification with others at a cost to ourselves b y giving away our authority, c h o i c e and responsibility. Also we must recognize that either being merged with another or stubbornly asserting distance are both sides o f the same c o i n , that the desirable balance is o n e where w e can let s o m e o n e touch and influence us without a loss o f identity and also k n o w the p o w e r o f our influence on them. W h e n this b e c o m e s possible the defensive strategies o f manipulation, passive aggression and making oneself and others all g o o d or all bad will b e c o m e unnecessary. W i t h the grief that o n e was eaten alive c o m e s the joy that n o w I can be m e .

T h e Narcissistic Character Key Theme: Distorted self-esteem. Age: Emerging 15 to 24 months and continuing. T h e r e are t w o ways to view narcissism. T h e broad view recognizes that all w o u n d s have their narcissistic element in that they create a false self that obscures the underlying real self. In this view immature narcissism grows into a mature form that leaves a confident individual w h o can also give to others. T h e narrow view recognizes that in addition to this there is a specific narcissistic w o u n d that arises from precise parenting experiences. W h i l e the broad view c o u l d be called the collective w o u n d o f our time it is the narrow view that we are considering here. In O v i d ' s myth Narcissis had problems with his inflated sense o f vanity. Likewise when we are w o u n d e d narcissistically we suffer issues o f self-esteem. Like the symbiotic w o u n d w e have to live life meeting parental needs. T h e natural central place that w e expect as children, confirming our o w n individual nature, is usurped b y o n e or both parents taking it for themselves (often because they themselves are narcissistically w o u n d e d ) . T h e y require o f us either that we shine for them, realizing their need to be unique, magnificent and special or that we be eclipsed and humiliated and so offer n o competition. S o m e t i m e s o n e parent will want o n e thing and the other the opposite, sometimes b o t h will

fluctuate

between both. Naturally this leads to a profound

confusion about self-esteem and the system o f checks and balances that give a realistic idea o f our value remain immature and dominated b y grandiose fantasies, initiated b y parental demands, around

self-worth. W e also remain unbearably

vulnerable

to

criticism because it confirms d e e p feelings o f inferiority hidden in the shadow. W e present ourselves as omnipotent, arrogant, perfectionistic, self-involved and obsessed with status and yet this false self is always in danger o f breaking d o w n into its opposite where w e are vulnerable to feelings o f shame, humiliation and worthlessness which in turn lead to a d e e p depression. W i t h this c o m e feelings o f anxiety and a deeper fear o f dissolution itself, for at b o t t o m , without a sense o f our place in the world and in

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relationship to others we have n o self-identity or value. T o avoid this painful experience we try to maintain the grandiose false self at all costs. All attacks o n this from an intrusion o f reality are dealt with b y denial o f criticism, blaming others, diminishing the value o f others and unrealistically identifying with those idealized. W h e n this collapses it is replaced b y an equally distorted and exaggerated sense o f valuelessness that is preoccupied with hypochondriacal anxieties and m o r b i d cogitations around self-worth. Both these states together conspire to keep the real self at bay because experience o f this may be felt as completely disorientating. H o w e v e r , with the searing vulnerability also c o m e s a real connection to life and others. T h o s e around s o m e o n e with a very visible narcissistic w o u n d may feel that they are being used as a mirror, as if they were an object with n o needs o f their o w n . Alternatively, if the false-self has a high degree o f simulated adaption, that is, can put on a g o o d performance as a less self-obsessed individual, they may feel caught up in charisma. Kurtz calls this constellation o f characteristics the 'psychopath' (because it only cares for itself), and names t w o strategies, the first is tough and generous and the second, charming and seductive. ( T h i n k male old H o l l y w o o d movie stars.) T h e idea is if w e cannot remain on top o n e way then there is a fall back position, the vital thing is not to lose control because that feels vulnerable. W h e n our narcissistic w o u n d is not keeping us o n top it is scouting for remarkable things to identify with and so share in their value. Beneath the surface o f idealization the small child can b e seen still trying to be inside the special parent or being that specialness and so meet the parental demand. All this activity really has little to d o with relationship o r true feeling, and because o f this there is a p h o n y quality to a narcissitically w o u n d e d person's feeling that neither rings true to oneself or others. H o w e v e r this is also a starting point because the desire for real relationship, that includes the willingness to expose oneself to criticism and learn h o w to balance it against real qualities, is essential for healing. W o r k i n g with this w o u n d it is necessary to avoid the hierarchical relating that the w o u n d engenders. T e m p t i n g though it is, taking the narcissist d o w n a p e g or t w o will only serve to re-entrench the defensive grandiose self m o r e deeply. T h i s unequal style o f relating originally caused the w o u n d and so its healing must be in an equal exchange between t w o people w h o accept the other's limitations and enjoy each other's qualities. O n c e this safe therapeutic vessel is created it will be possible not only to face the equally delusive positive and negative inflation but also the really dangerous experience at base o f vulnerability and relinquishing o f control. T h e vulnerability will include acknowledging feelings o f deep sadness and rage at being let d o w n b y those idealized, and fear o f letting oneself be vulnerable to disappointment again. Beneath this, the feelings o f inferiority must b e faced and accurately assessed, and beneath this again the emptiness and fear o f fragmentation o f the real self must be stayed with until this self begins to emerge from behind the w o u n d structure. L i k e the new, naked real self o f the orally w o u n d e d , this self will also need to discover just w h o it is but here the issues o f trust and establishing a real concern for oneself and others is central. Realistic and ambivalent appraisal will be part o f this, as will establishing mutually nourishing and equal relationships. Letting in others will be terrifying because they may use and abuse us for their o w n ends but the only end to the isolation and fragile self-identity will b e through the nourishment o f safe intimacy.

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T h e M a s o c h i s t i c Character Key Theme: Resentful submission. Age: Emerging 18 to 24 months and continuing. W h e n suffering the third w o u n d from this group our parents are likely to have been experienced as dominant and invasive. W e may particularly feel overpowered in the areas o f eating and excretion and eventually, when our resistance finally crumbles, assuming a compliant and appeasing persona, w e join with the greater force and repress our o w n hostile and retaliatory feelings. H o w e v e r beneath this the rage and frustration from having been defeated continues and this may be expressed particularly b y acts o f passive aggression. If this has happened to us we can feel a chronic l o w grade depression that seems to colour everything with the flavour o f defeat. All the life energy is not only hidden in the shadow but also seems to b e felt as an alien force weighted against us. T h e expressions o f long sufferance, complaining self-defeat and selfdepreciation, along with helplessness, distrust and hidden anger, all add up to create a b o g g y place where this ' E e y o r e ' lives. Resistance, the last remains o f the defiant self, n o w acts against our best interests as all change, even for the better, is seen as a challenge to the internalized controlling parents and must be subjugated to their rule. O n the surface w e say Ί give u p ' but beneath another voice says Ί will never submit!' and knows that it can endure its burden longer than anyone else and that this masterly performance o f masochism will ' s h o w them'. A s with other structures this too is maintained by denial and projection, particularly o f anything that may c o n n e c t us with the underlying rage. W e wish to see ourselves as one w h o serves others and meets duties and yet we also spoil any pleasure in this with endless complaints and feeling guilty for obligation failures. T h e cost o f this is to feel caught and frustrated while both needing and fearing acts o f spontaneity, fun and creativity. T h e only release this victim mentality may secretly feel is when we have defeated all attempts to help us with ' Y e s , buts'. Evoking a frustrated attack from the w o u l d - b e helper, we finally legitimize the expression o f pent up spite. O r alternatively, their depressed defeat

triumphantly

reaffirms the immovability o f our masochistic determination. A n y attempt to help us in this position is felt as an additional attack and so in effect the source o f healing, a reconnection with the life force lost within the shadow, is furiously defended against. Naturally this will lead an inexperienced therapist into the trap o f pushing harder which will only evoke the responses mentioned above. S o m e h o w it is necessary to get round behind the defences and not play into the unconsciously desired theatre o f rewounding in replica o f the original hurt. In practice feelings o f aggression and self assertion must be w e l c o m e d as must discovery o f pleasure and creativity. T h i s will mean recognizing and disidentifying with

the

internalized parental voices that d e m a n d service and induce guilt if they are challenged. It will also require the behaviours that maintain the structure to be understood and abandoned. T h e s e include flooding the therapist with material to assure nothing will m o v e , disavowal o f the violent, spiteful feelings, deep-seated pathogenic beliefs and the spoiling o f any successes, particularly in the therapy. Indeed we will need to learn h o w to contain the anxiety evoked by expressing ourselves and exchange self-defeat for balanced self-assertion, self-respect and a trusting, equal relationship. T h i s may all

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sound simple and straightforward but the determined self-defeat o f this place means that it is not only difficult for the therapist to find an ally in the patient but that at every turn all healing will b e systematically dismantled as it occurs. A t worst therapy b e c o m e s a battle between a determined-to-heal-at-all-cost therapist against an equally determined patient w h o feels that his very existence rests o n continuing endlessly in therapy while ensuring that it will never work. F o r this reason humour, a sense o f the ridiculous and even very loving teasing may find an appropriate place in the work. O n c e the symbiotic phase has been passed through, then between the second and third years we have started to separate, we next begin consciously to m o v e into a wider orbit o f relationships. Typically we discover not only that our mother, or mothering person, and ourselves are separate individuals but that there are also others in our world and this frequently will mean a clearer discovery o f father. I f we consider h o w b y this point many o f us will b e w o u n d e d from earlier developmental periods, perhaps o n e c o m p o u n d i n g another, and then add to this the labyrinthine relationship dynamics that exist between three people, then w e can understand h o w c o m p l e x this gets. Johnson, following Freud, calls this the Oedipal phase and sees it dominated by the concerns o f relationship, love, sex and competition, and suggests that like all other phases, it needs appropriate expression and limitation. W h e n this does not happen w e have the following t w o w o u n d s .

O e d i p a l Character. T h e Histrionic W o u n d Key Theme: E x p l o i t e d / U n h e a r d . Age: Emerging around 3 to 5 years, then continuing. T h i s w o u n d may occur when o n e parent uses us as a sexual object, or when o n e parent is c o l d , rejecting or punishing, particularly in the area o f affectionate relationship, or when each parent takes each o n e o f the above roles or even alternates between them. Here we are not necessarily referring to sexual abuse or extreme rejection but m o r e likely a mother or father taking a level o f inappropriate emotional and physical satisfaction from their child, perhaps because these needs are not met b y the partner, or alternatively, that o n e parent withdraws because he cannot contend with the child's erotic explorations. Either way, these behaviours will result in a dislocation and distortion o f our natural exploration o f sexual desire, love and rivalrous feelings against competitors. Instead o f developing a healthy pleasure in our ability to attract and b e attractive w e will feel ourselves used in relationships with future sexual partners o r that, unless we perform, we will g o unnoticed. T h e last twist is that it is also possible for the child to experience the parent as rejecting because the child is projecting its guilt for its o w n sexual and competitive feelings into the parent. In this confusion o f relationships it is not surprising that our emotional expression becomes distorted and n o longer communicates what we actually feel. Playing up to the needs o f the o n e parent or desperately trying to attract the attentions o f the other w e b e c o m e larger than life, dramatic, exhibitionistic, theatrical and yet paradoxically, w e are unfocused and emotionally and intellectually shallow. W h i l e seeming to b e particularly attuned to the opposite sex and sexualizing ordinary communications, w e

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95

in reality may b e cut o f f from our sexuality and perhaps experience functional sexual problems. I n d e e d , behind the seduction may b e hidden hostility not only to those o f the same sex but also those o f the opposite. T h e s e somatic s y m p t o m s symbolically express the separation between o u r o w n real sexual self and the sexualized false-self which we have b e c o m e for the other o r to attract the other. Beneath the surface w e believe that sex and c o m p e t i t i o n are bad, o r , that w e must b e attractive to be loved. But beneath this again at the deepest level is the silent cry to b e loved for oneself and to b e allowed to express our love and sexuality in our o w n way. A t base all the acting out, the o v e r w h e l m i n g o f any containment, the sheer noise, is a legitimate, if unconscious, cry to b e heard. O f course the p r o b l e m is that the original parents are n o longer there to hear, and others tend to abuse or turn away and s o , ultimately, it is only we w h o can hear ourselves. T h i s w o u n d is mostly found in w o m e n , though not exclusively, and it is important to r e m e m b e r that the w o r d 'hysteric' etymologically links it to the w o m b . A n c i e n t G r e e k s , believing that the w o m b unattended w o u l d roam lost around the b o d y , held a p o s y o f sweet smelling flowers at the w o m b ' s d o o r to attract it back into its rightful position. Surely this tells us that when the w o m b , as symbolic vessel for the conjoining o f male and female, is lost, it is the natural and the beautiful that creates healing and enables it to h o l d life again. T h e therapeutic responses that particularly help when we suffer in this way meet the central need to b e heard firstly b y the therapist and ultimately b y ourselves. All else follows from this. H o w e v e r this is not always easy because the l o u d , invasive, theatricality will either entrance the therapist and cause them to miss hearing the real voice within o r m o r e likely, cause them to b e c o m e distancing and suppressing as they struggle to contain the hysterical expression. T h u s the therapist b e c o m e s the absent parent (usually father). T o hear properly and enable the patient to hear herself it is helpful to discourage all behaviours that maintain the false self; the use o f large emotional dramas to mask the underlying feeling, the distracted acting out, the flitting from o n e subject to the next with n o completions, the denial o f personal responsibility, the use o f sex for gaining affection and lastly, simplistic perceptions o f m e n , w o m e n and relationships. Conversely, all experience o f the real self is encouraged b y enhancing the ability to experience, stay with and express real feeling. Usually this includes distinguishing affection from sexual needs, that is actually listening to ourselves and what w e really want. T h e inhibitions o f love and competition, and the resulting shame and anger need to b e w o r k e d through. A l s o the feelings o f having been used or abandoned must b e experienced and the sadness and depression this may evoke seen as a positive sinking d o w n into real feeling. A s always, healthy, realistic ambivalence is desirable. Finally, m e n bearing this w o u n d will need to resolve their yearning for mother love against their rage for her holding and using them. T h i s is frequently acted out by offering a seductive persona to w o m e n that hides a d e e p sadistic streak. T h e mythic image o f the puer aeternus, the eternal b o y . W o m e n will have to resolve their d e p e n d e n c y o n father love (which costs them their o w n p o w e r ) , and the p o i s o n o u s envy this may cause in them, b y asserting their o w n authority. Again this is acted out later in fury at a society that has traditionally encouraged w o m e n to behave in a childlike way, the puella, while also persecuting them (i.e. witches) for holding hidden p o w e r . Indeed, the very name

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o f this w o u n d carries negative connotations whether we call it 'histrionic' or 'hysterical' and it would b e better to find a description that was not tainted with denigration. O e d i p a l Character. T h e O b s e s s i v e - C o m p u l s i v e W o u n d ( N o t e : this is not the same as an obsessive-compulsive neurosis) Key Theme: Control. Age: A r o u n d 3 to 5 years, then continuing. If the histrionic w o u n d is characterized by a violation o f natural boundaries then the obsessive-compulsive w o u n d results from an over rigorous control o f the same erotic and competitive energies and is found m o r e frequently in men. (In other character systems this w o u n d has been connected to an earlier phase where strict potty training is seen as partly its cause. Johnson argues, and I agree with him, that over-control o f excretion, that is control o f self expression, fits m o r e accurately into the masochistic structure.) Strictly controlling, persistently rule b o u n d parenting, dispensing punishment for any form o f spontaneous, free expression, particularly if it is to d o with sexuality and aggression, creates in us an ability likewise to tame and subdue our o w n vital animal nature. T h i s is not the externally crushing control o f the masochistic w o u n d but rather the self-applied, introjected self-control o f the parental discipline. T h e suppression o f spontaneous feeling, personal choice and an ability to enjoy relaxation, an ability to b e , leaves the familiar conscientious, correct, pedantic, rule b o u n d , intellectually and emotionally rigid personality w h o is driven b y a persecuting inner authority and w h o , demanding perfection, simultaneously creates a fear o f failure. It is for this reason that procrastination and an inability to complete a task (from fear o f getting it w r o n g ) are also part o f this pattern. Beneath this lurks a great anxiety, obsessive thoughts, sadistic and erotic fantasies and compulsive behaviours, checking, locking and washing, accompany the whispering secret voice, Ί have d o n e something very w r o n g ' and Ί must not lose control at all costs'. W h e n we meet this person w e are struck by their ability to deny feeling and apply reason while at the same time we may also sense the underlying hostility. Healing this w o u n d must include identifying the inner authority voice and challenging its supremacy. W e need to let g o o f the tyrannies o f perfectionism and control and realize that nature may never b e absolutely ruled b y the will. It is natural to fail, to b e chaotic, to be imperfect, to be anxious and ambivalent. W e d o not need to block these out. W e can accept these in ourselves and others. T h e Dionysian energies o f sex and violence may be integrated in love and healthy competition. W e can let g o and the universe will not dissolve around us. O f course this is easy to say but in practice the fear o f the anxiety that any small contact with the shadow unleashes, causes (similar to the masochistic w o u n d ) , defensive moves that are designed to keep the structure in place. Because o f this the tendencies to obfuscate b y using all sorts o f reasons w h y something cannot b e changed, to flood with detail, to shift attention to the edge o f the subject, to stay in abstraction, to describe endless complaints and to hide in indecision, must all be recognized and given up. What is to be encouraged is individual pleasure, delight, emotional immediacy, heartfelt warmth and, most frightening, g o o d clean anger. F r o m under the concrete emerges a vibrantly coloured flower.

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T H E M I D L I F E T R A N S I T I O N A L CRISIS It is not only the start o f life that can create acute suffering. A s well as traumatic experiences that may o c c u r at any time, loss, disease, death, there is also the profound transition that d o e s o c c u r for s o m e , but not all, at approximately the middle o f life. T h e period o n the E d i n g e r / S o m e r s m a p where e g o and Self are most estranged. Jung (1931) recognized this as the onset o f the second half o f life where individual concerns are transcended and a c o n n e c t i o n to something larger than ourselves is made. M a n y writers have written o n this theme picking u p the o l d belief that o n c e w e have established a family w e need something m o r e that this has not satisfied. Others have challenged this, suggesting such a need can legitimately appear before midlife and cite examples o f an earlier call. F r o m a psychotherapist's perspective it is necessary to d e v e l o p the ' n o s e ' that can distinguish s o m e o n e w h o has reached this point, a turning to spiritual c o n c e r n s , from o n e w h o w o u l d hide in spirituality to avoid the pain o f being simply human. A n d it is just as m u c h a mistake to think all p e o p l e need to experience this shift towards the transpersonal as it is to merely see all w o u n d i n g as the failures o f c h i l d h o o d . M i c h a e l Washburn (1994) charts this period well. W a s h b u r n calls the d e v e l o p m e n t o f an individual sense o f being that functions in the w o r l d and can achieve satisfaction and meaning from d o i n g so, the ' e g o project'. A t midlife and later, for s o m e , this project begins to b e less c o m p e l l i n g because w e either realize that w e can never succeed in it or, having succeeded (unfinished patterns and cycles withstanding), find that its promise o f wholeness was hollow. W h e n this happens fundamental

uncertainties in the shadow begin to emerge that u p to n o w the e g o

project has kept o b s c u r e d . W e begin to feel a growing sense o f being nothing beneath all our efforts and achievements and that whatever w e d o is not enough or right. Naturally in the face o f this p r o f o u n d discomfort, not knowing exactly what is happening to us, w e begin at first to try even harder to keep the dying system going. H o w e v e r this is d o o m e d to failure and eventually w e b e c o m e defeated and

are

separated in feeling from ourselves and the world. T h i s is the 'sickness unto death'. T h e wasteland. W a s h b u r n describes this as returning to a primitive narcissism in an attempt to shore u p flagging self-worth followed b y disillusionment with previous values, a frightening shifting o f identity and depression as the world flattens and is withdrawn from. H e also reminds us that these experiences are not solely the result o f a midlife crisis and can also result from trauma, developmental arrests and biochemical imbalances. In this description w e can recognize the soul sickness that Jung described many o f his middle-aged patients presenting and for which his particular way o f working, facilitating a re-connection to the Self, was and is particularly effective. Unlike the character styles a b o v e , here we have n o general guidelines that enable us to identify and respond to the w o u n d . T h i s is because there are n o universal cures and each o f us will quite literally have to find o u r o w n unique salvation. T h i s being said the shape o f the passage is the archetypal pattern o f initiation; death, passing through darkness and rebirth. A n example o f this journey may b e found in the Parzival story. H e r e the h e r o / knight reaches a point o f existential despair where he has achieved the ' e g o project' but finds himself still as barren as the Waste L a n d he has failed to rejuvenate. A t this

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pivotal point the unrecognized transformational

feminine element in the form o f

C u n d r y , hideous precursor to the Grail, appears and galvanizes Parzival to complete his quest. H e may not rest with K i n g Arthur in the court o f the familiar but must continue until he understands his deeper nature, represented b y Gawain and Feirefiz, and his service as the redeemed Grail K i n g . In this perspective the

debilitating

experience o f ego dissolution begins to make sense, this is the death process that leads into the aridity o f the liminal phase and finally renewal. Likewise, the inability to draw u p o n old sources o f understanding is also important because it demonstrates that n o w a new source o f guidance must be found. N o w the therapeutic methods that Jung found so helpful; dreaming, active imagination, creative exploration and o f course religious and spiritual pursuits, b e c o m e important because in all cases they draw o n areas that are b e y o n d the ' e g o project', that are transpersonal. Here also the difference between west and east b e c o m e s clear. W h i l e the notion o f individuation continues to value a separate identity that n o w turns to face the greater Self in dialogue, the east practices methods o f meditation and contemplation that seek to dissolve the very experience o f separation as an individual self. T h i s difference w e will return to later. In practice this is a painful and slow wounding that ultimately is a healthy sickness if it can lead to a renewed understanding o f w h o w e are, replacing the old kingship o f the e g o and its values, with a new identification with a transpersonal centre. T h e night sea journey ends in a new dawn.

SPIRITUAL W O U N D I N G C h o g y a m T r u n g p a R i m p o c h e in his highly perceptive b o o k , Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism (1973), highlighted h o w even spirituality may be hijacked b y the needs o f an e g o that seeks to consolidate itself. H o w we can fool ourselves into believing that w e are 'spiritual', b y holding beliefs, by following paths, b y doing meditational practices etcetera and in reality all we are doing is maintaining the ' e g o project' in extremely subtle disguise. T h e value o f the book is in its ability to show h o w this unfolds from the most innocent looking desires, the desire to b e more spiritual, and h o w o n c e w e step upon this road, o n which the e g o seeks to define itself by its fantasy o f a 'spiritual' identity, it b e c o m e s downhill all the way. In addition to this almost

universal

inclination, specific and more serious w o u n d s exist that arise from the conjunction o f traumatic personal history and 'spiritual' beliefs, most particularly, the practice o f meditation. In this next section therefore we will consider h o w the w o u n d s described as character styles may b e c o m e profound when they are mixed with so-called spiritual practice and belief in the 'transpersonal' in general. Mark D . Epstein and J. D . Lieff (1981) have outlined this for us. Firstly they remind us that a variety o f psychopathological states have been recorded as having their genesis in meditation practice, these include deep destablizations o f the e g o in psychotic episodes, panic and anxiety attacks, and depression and suicidal fantasies. T h e y also remind us o f the conventional psychoanalytic understanding o f meditative absorption as a re-entry into the earliest oceanic states o f fusion with mother, and concentration u p o n the process o f consciousness, a regression into primary narcissism, a place o f self-

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absorption where only oneself is real. H o w e v e r they challenge this rather dire and bald interpretation and argue that w e need a m o r e differentiated understanding o f the various levels o f experience meditation can generate and also o f the problems that each o f these levels may create. Furthermore, picking up W i l b e r ' s (1995) ' p r e / t r a n s ' fallacy, it is important not to confuse pre-personal states with trans-personal states. T h i s fallacy o c c u r s , o n a personal level, when w e delude ourselves into believing that our beliefs and our practices are about a dissolution o f a separate identity when the unconscious intent is really about trying to escape back into a place o f n o anxiety or responsibility, and is therefore spirituality used as an e g o defence. N o t transpersonal but prepersonal. In m y experience the reality is not so easy to divide. Certainly at the onset these t w o motivations may b e m i x e d . Indeed part o f the legitimate process is the identification o f the regressive desires that causes o n e to make the mistake o f wanting to b e other than where o n e is. Epstein and L i e f f offer a m o d e l o f three stages o f meditation practice and the psychological p r o b l e m s that each can create. ( F o r a fuller account o f transpersonal p s y c h o l o g y and meditation see Chapter 9 'Naked Presence'.)

Starting m e d i t a t i o n a l practice In many systems, it is usual to start meditation practice b y developing o n e pointed concentration u p o n an object, thereby creating a mental state o f slowed and reduced mental activity. W h e n w c start d o i n g this w e generally experience a great excitation and flooding

from the contents o f our minds, both conscious concerns and m o r e disturb-

ingly, the content o f the shadow. T h o u g h t s , feelings, desires, and daydreams are c o m m o n l y experienced intensely as are audio, visual and somatic hallucinations. I f this material has never been experienced before it may well b e o f fascinating interest to the novice and a c o m m o n p r o b l e m is that it b e c o m e s so captivating that the meditator is lost in the content o f the mind rather than observing the process o f its continuous manifestation, and so the practice does not p r o c e e d . M o r e seriously, i f our e g o is fragile, the inundation o f the e g o b y the shadow, can and will create intolerable levels o f e g o disturbance, drawing the practitioner into the m i n d ' s content and causing the ego to resort to the early defence mechanisms, denial, projection and splitting, to keep itself intact. O b v i o u s l y then, if the object o f practice is to b e mindful o f o n e ' s reality, then a fragile, heavily defended, e g o will not find this possible. A s a therapist confronted with this p h e n o m e n a it is important to recognize the fragility o f the e g o and the undesirabilty o f its destabilization and find ways to support it as has been suggested above. In serious cases meditational practice w o u l d b e counter-indicated. Engler (1984), has differentiated these w o u n d s precisely. A s a psychotherapist he recognizes a n u m b e r o f clinical features in students he has taught meditation to. T h e s e include the

flooding

by the contents o f the shadow mentioned above, dwelling in

fantasy, m e m o r i e s , conflicts, c o m p u l s i v e thinking and intense m o o d swings. Also the relationship with the teacher b e c o m e s distorted by the transference o f the student's parental experiences. T y p i c a l l y , the student relates to the teacher as if they were a parent, both requiring elements o f parenting needs that have not been satisfied and also displaying acts o f aggression when the teacher is seen as a parent to separate from. T h i s

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may b e especially difficult for those suffering a self disorder w h o have yet to find a way to accept that the idealized parent (teacher) is also the o n e w h o is incapable o f meeting unrealistic expectations. T h e struggle that the defence o f splitting causes appears as wild swings where o n e m o m e n t the teacher is G o d and the next o f n o value whatsoever. T h e s e types o f p r o b l e m particularly o c c u r for w o u l d b e meditators in late adolescence and also for those passing through the midlife transitional crisis: groups w h o both s h o w a marked interest in meditation. F o r all the issue is o n e o f identity and self-esteem and involvement with meditation may b e c o m e unhelpful when it is used as a (mistakenly) short cut to avoid the life issues that these painful phases throw u p . T h i s is particularly true when philosophical ideas about the non-existence o f a self and non-attachment are used as a let out for feeling and personal responsibility, the ability to respond. F o r those w h o suffer having n o real sense o f a cohesive self, inner emptiness and fear o f relationship, w h o may have borderline personality organization, and those w h o suffer a narcissistic personality w o u n d as defined above, spiritual teaching is attractive. N o t i o n s o f n o self seem to mirror the borderline experience o f lack o f self feeling and non-attachment appears to legitimize avoidance o f personal relationships. Likewise, the ideal o f enlightenment, is immediately attractive to those o f us with narcissistic w o u n d s because it is the ultimate promise o f a non-vulnerable state o f total i n d e p e n d ence and exalted perfection that takes us b e y o n d the c o m m o n c r o w d . O r so it seems until the painful reality o f sitting practice deflates the fantasy.

Stabilizing concentration O n c e o n e has found a way through the possible problems that starting practice may throw u p , o n e has an experience o f the practice working. T h i s is a relief because at times it can feel that it is all suffering and n o reward. T h e practice n o w b e c o m e s the motivation itself rather than the m o r e conceptual and emotional incentives that initially caused o n e to sit. T h i s level o f practice is experienced as growing m o m e n t s , and then periods, where there is an ability to step back from identification with the contents o f consciousness and find a place o f rest where o n e can remain uninterruptedly c o n c e n trated o n either the object o f concentration (candle, image, letter, or breath), or m o r e widely, the awareness o f the m o v e m e n t o f thoughts and feelings. Problems at this level o f practice c o m e from wanting to establish this experience so badly that o n e begins to strain oneself and create stress. Ironically the only way to actually establish the practice is to relax as this desire to be somewhere other than where o n e is, is the very root o f the problem. A phallic driveness at this point will assure that n o m o r e development happens. T o guard against this students may be advised to monitor their state o f consciousness carefully and apply practices that compensate for imbalances as they occur. T h e response to serious problems at this level is not to stop but to relax.

T h e c o n j u n c t i o n o f c a l m and insight F o r most o f us it is unlikely that w e will have the deepest levels o f this category o f experience. M y personal belief is that it is unobtainable unless o n e is prepared to pour one's entire life into it and this would include a c o m m i t m e n t to retreats. Others

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h o w e v e r ( T a r t 1994) seem to suggest that our everyday life is the place to practice and this is appropriate for o u r contemporary times. A s with the category above, it does not seem correct to call the p r o b l e m s o f this level psychopathology, rather, they seem to m e to b e natural fears from the perspective o f the e g o . H e r e , w e are informed, the p r o b l e m s consist o f b e c o m i n g attached to the fruits o f the practice, d e e p feelings o f bliss for instance (Kornfield 1994). Later still the dissolution o f the self threatens the practitioner with seemingly n o solid ground to stand u p o n . Attachment to the fruits is recognized as an abuse o f the practice and the dissolution o f the self w o u l d b e c o m e a psychotic break i f the e g o structure were not strong e n o u g h finally to contain its o w n transmutation.

O n c e o r twice I have been consulted o n experiences that sounded

similar to this and o n each occasion have referred the person asking to an authority in the tradition they had m o s t followed. T h e i r s y m p t o m s c o u l d easily b e understood as psychotic delusions, and indeed may have been, but I am wary to c o n d e m n something as insane w h e n it may be recognized b y s o m e o n e m o r e knowing as a valuable experience o f opening. I f indeed it is a fact that the practice has developed deeply then the only solution to e g o ' s anxiety is m o r e practice. T h e essential thing is to recognize when a person's interest is a defence against a life they are afraid o f living as o p p o s e d to a desire to live life m o r e mindfully which will mean facing the pain and the fear. T h o s e o f us w h o use spirituality defensively usually d o not practice a great deal and so the c o m m u n i t y or g r o u p w h o usually gather around the teacher act as a surrogate family which b e c o m e s the arena for acting out the repeat performance o f family dramas. T e a c h e r , L a m a or G u r u as parents and friends as siblings. Others w h o try to practice may distort the intention o f the practice, really needing to g r o w a solid e g o before they dissolve it, but here again I believe the practice itself is generally its o w n safeguard as it is difficult to muster the mental resources to continue unless o n e has a g o o d , healthy, robust and intentioned e g o . H o w e v e r there are a few w h o , though fundamentally unstable, manage to even enter long duration solitary retreats and it is in these that a real danger o f unseating the e g o can cause irreversible damage. I f there is a greater understanding o f 'spiritual' pathology, b y both spiritual teachers and psychotherapists, then this never need happen.

CONCLUSION - FROM THE LEAD COMES

GOLD

In each o f these personality w o u n d s w e have primarily focused on the aspects that create suffering, h o w e v e r it is extremely important to remember that many o f us g o through o u r entire life with l o w to m e d i u m level w o u n d s that are never articulated nor worked u p o n . W h i l e these may cause distress, particularly at times o f crisis, for the rest o f the time they are merely ' u s ' and are recognized simply as our personality. Indeed each o f the w o u n d s has its ' g o l d e n lining', even without any work o n it, and these p r o v i d e valued qualities and attitudes within our society. T o greatly simplify; the inventive imagination and technical abilities given b y a schizoid w o u n d . H e l p i n g professions staffed b y those with oral and symbiotic w o u n d s and the arts with the narcissistic and histrionic. M a s o c h i s t i c and o b s e s s i v e - c o m p u l s i v e behaviour is particularly favoured, p r o v i d i n g perseverance and exactitude. Lastly, the midlife transition

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gives birth to what is ultimately the most valuable in human culture, something that may g o b e y o n d death. W h i l e psychotherapy can underestimate the value o f continuing in unconscious defensive patterns, particularly since they break d o w n at times o f change, it is important to remember that symptoms are also symbols and as such each character is multifaceted and both represents a pattern o f pain and also an individual expression o f human life. A s such, while it is genuinely useful to have a map o f psyche's unfolding it is also necessary to recognize that the m a p can b e c o m e a hindrance when the therapist, using it as a defence against the anxiety o f not knowing, begins only to see the w o u n d pattern and not the person. T h i s is extremely easy to d o . Imagine before y o u someone in great emotional distress. T h e i r need is to have y o u understand their pain and remove it. A t this point, identifying the constellation o f their life pattern and the type o f pain it may have generated appears to start the process o f healing b y making meaning out o f the chaos. H o w e v e r , unless this is meaningful for the patient also, it has little value and at worst may actually harm the therapeutic relationship.

Transpersonal

Psychotherapy remembers this and while using the patterns o f wounding to orientate the therapeutic response, primarily works from the place o f health. W h i l e w e all bear w o u n d s these w o u n d s are not all w e are.

REFERENCES Clements, F. E. (1932). 'Primitive Concepts of Disease' University of California Publications m American Archeology and Ethnology, Vol. X X X I I , No. 2, 185-252. Engler, J. (1984). 'Therapeutic Aims in Psychotherapy and Meditation: Developmental Stages in the Representation of the Self Journal of Transpersonal Psychotherapy, 16(1), 25. Epstein, M . D. and Lieff, J. D. (1981). 'Psychiatric Complications of Meditation Practice', Journal of Transpersonal Psychology , 13(2), 137. Johnson, S. M . (1994). Character Styles. New York and London: W. W. Norton. Jung, C. G. (1931). The Stages of Life. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Jung, C. G. (1936/37). The Concept of the Collective Unconscious. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Jung, C. G. (1954). Achetypes of the Collective Unconscious. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Kornfield, J. (1994). A Path with Heart. London: Rider Books. Kurtz, R. (1970). The Hakomi Handbook. Boulder: Hakomi Institute. Samuels, A. (1989). Psychopathology Contemporary Jfungian Perspectives. London: Karnac y

Books. Stevens, A. (1982). Archetype, a Natural History of the Self London and Henley: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Stevens, A. (1993). The Two Million-Year-Old Self. Texas: A & M University Press College Station. Tart, C. T. (1994). Living the Mindful Life. Boston and London: Shambhala. Trungpa, C. (1973). Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism. Boston and London: Shambhala. Washburn, M . (1994). Transpersonal Psychology in Psychoanalytic Perspective. New York: State University of New York Press. Wilber, K. (1995). Sex, Ecology, Spirituality: The Spirit of Evolution. Boston: Shambhala.

CHAPTER 5

Images of Liminality in the Masculine Stephen Friedrich

Editor's note.- In the latter half of the twentieth century, in the 'developed' world, men's position is both under radical assault and in transformation. For many men the impact of this has yet to be profoundly felt while for others this is a disorientation that frustrate the expression of the ancient archetypal masculine energies that continue to clamber in the depths, demanding recognition and expression. Here Stephen Friedrich charts these energies through the stages of adolescence, adulthood, midlife, old age and death, illustrating each with stories that reflect and reveal the tensions that each stage evokes. His thesis is simple: if we are to be whole then we need to grow into each part of our life fully and not tarry in fear in a stage it is time to leave. Today, societal changes threaten this evolution as fatherless boys fear to be men, men fear the feminine side of their nature and all finally fear death. It is as if men have come to a liminal point collectively where the voice of the masculine needs to change its tune but without losing its note. Perhaps our task today is to allow and encourage this change, for this is life itself, but also find a way to continue to draw upon our archetypal roots so they may both anchor, nourish and guide our growth into the future. N.W.

INTRODUCTION

I

n a short essay called Ά N o t e o n S t o r y ' (Hillman 1991) James Hillman writes that exposure o f the child to myth, folk-tales and legends gives a perspective t o life which

is psychologically therapeutic. T h i s process is unconscious and provides us with a

psychic container for organizing events into meaningful existence for the stories are a way

o f s h o w i n g us h o w the events in o u r lives can b e understood psychologically.

Furthermore, the exposure to these stories develops the imaginai life and thus, there is less need to repress the irrational, the threatening i f o u r imaginai capability is m o r e d e v e l o p e d . W e may pathologize the irrational and threatening if w e take them literally. T h e s e images o f myths, folk-tales and legends w h i c h , for the sake o f brevity, I shall call stories, appear also in dreams and fantasy and poetry and familiarity with them gives 'story awareness' as Hillman calls it. Story awareness provides a better basis for c o m i n g to terms with o u r o w n case histories than clinical awareness. T h e clinical awareness o f case history pigeonholes us. W e b e c o m e the diagnosis, abandoned in a grey hinterland; with imagination w e can walk the busy, populated roads o f our o w n lives for imagination and fantasy is the dominant force in o u r lives. Hillman says that when w e examine this w e are brought back t o the great impersonal themes o f mankind

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as represented in story. T h r o u g h the collective unconscious w e share these in our o w n culture and find our connection to other cultures. T h e stories that have shaped our Western consciousness are the stories o f Greek, R o m a n , Celtic and N o r d i c myths, the Bible and legends and folk-tales. T h e G r i m m Brothers bowdlerized the sexual content o f the tales they collected. T h i s process continues today when material o f a threatening, baroque nature is expunged: the w o l f in a m o d e r n version o f the story o f R e d Riding H o o d is invited to tea which only postpones the terror at the t o p o f the stairs to another time. T h e child should experience the terror o f these stories in the safe enclosure o f a parent's arms where the fear o f the terrible is held b y the parent and the child b e c o m e s familiar with it. Since these stories are the basis o f our Western culture they are also the basis o f our o w n psyches. H o w e v e r , they are not only containers but also give us the way forward. In meeting these stories as adults we also meet the stuff o f our o w n psyches. T h e story development helps us to find unconsciously the path forward in our o w n pathologies. Every time we approach a story w e meet something new, a n e w facet o f ourselves is disclosed for we are not the same person that encountered the story the last time: time has passed, we have a different m o o d and different experiences have shaped our lives. Each time the story discloses m o r e and makes us m o r e aware, m o r e conscious o f ourselves. W h e n I first came across Hillman's essay I experience it as if a d o o r had been o p e n e d for m e . It seemed to m e that he was writing about a great truth and like all great truths, for which n o scientific demonstration may be available it is something that I accept. T h e s e stories are the matter o f our souls and function in a timeless void. A t the same time they are determined b y their epoch and culture and are, therefore, also the way in which our ancestors reached towards self awareness. T h e stories reflect the struggles that is the task on hand and we are helped through transitions o f our lives b y recognizing it in the story even unconsciously. I accept all o f this to be an uninfringeable truth and this chapter is written from this standpoint. W h a t I have tried to d o t o o , starting with adolescence, is to show the developmental stages o f the masculine and h o w the images o f these stories, which have gone through many generations o f development, reflect the anxieties, vicissitudes and triumphs o f these stages. T h e stories are, therefore, a way in which w e can c o m e to terms with the problems which arise in our development. W e meet images o f the collective which may disclose, illuminate and make numinous the events o f our lives. T h e y will also enable us to accept that w e are not alone. T h e feminine aspect in story is a parallel but separate development and it is not the brief o f this chapter to deal with this. W o m e n tend to be m o r e grounded in their bodies than men due to the reminder that is brought in the physical signs o f menstruation, defloration, childbirth, lactation and the menopause and transitions tend to b e marked by these events. T h e r e is, consequently less turbulence, less turmoil as if the b o d y had already prepared the psyche for these stages. A girl's puberty begins with the menarche and initiations into life stages such as childbirth tend to b e a claustral events, c o n d u c t e d quietly in confined spaces. W o m e n may also be thought to assume a socially dominant role in old age since they remain rooted in the c o m m u n i t y and tend to live longer than men. In this sense t o o , they carry the traditions o f the c o m m u n i t y onward.

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T h e material available in story is predominantly heterosexual. T h e issues affecting gay m e n are not brought overtly in these stories. H o w e v e r , it is clear that w e contain both masculine and feminine elements in our psychic make-up and that these can respond to stories, can o p e n to them when they are t o u c h e d . Aspects o f our sexual identity will b e influenced b y developmental factors and this has certainly been the psychotherapeutic point o f view in the past. But it is clear from today's perspective that this is not necessarily universally so. Hereditary factors may also c o m e into play as well as cultural ones o f c h o i c e as we respond to the feminine or masculine poles in our psyche. Finally, o n e aspect o f the title to this chapter may need explanation and that is the w o r d 'liminal'. T h i s w o r d c o m e s from the Latin 'limen' meaning threshold and means also the initial stages o f a process. T h e liminal state, the crossing o f this threshold brings disorientation, time w o b b l e s and there is a general feeling o f being disconnected from things around us. T h i s liminal feeling also brings with it an unprotected openness to feeling, to being taken over b y new impressions and insights resulting in a n e w way o f being in the w o r l d . Experience o f a liminal transition brings a shift o f awareness. T h e stages o f life described b e l o w are liminal in the sense that they represent thresholds which w e must cross to attain a n e w way o f being and if w e wish to live fully integrated lives. T h e experience o f the images is the threshold; they are the experience o f the liminal.

ADOLESCENCE T h e w o r d 'adolescence' c o m e s from the Latin 'adolescere' meaning to ' g r o w u p ' . It has, therefore, a sense o f evolution, to arrive at a goal. A d o l e s c e n c e n o w is generally considered to define the period o f life between the onset o f puberty and the early twenties. It is a period which is marked b y profound changes in the b o d y . B o d y size increases so that at the end o f the period the b o y is the same size as the parents and has also achieved sexual genitality like his father. It is a process o f transition and like all transitions is disorientating. It leads the adolescent to crisis in which existing defences are n o longer adequate to deal with the internal and external demands and which may lead the y o u n g person into extreme forms o f behaviour. T h e relationship with parents has been based o n d e p e n d e n c y and indeed, the adolescent is still dependent but his task n o w is to b e c o m e independent o f his parents not o n l y materially but also o f the imago o f his parents. T h e imago is the internal representation o f his parents in the psyche which arises out o f what the individual has made o f the experience o f his parents and h o w they have affected him. Issues o f privacy arise in personal matters at this age. T h e adolescent b e c o m e s secretive about his activities, hides papers and will refuse to talk about his schoolwork or social life. T h i s behaviour is also mirrored in a n e w focus o n the b o d y . T h e investment in the e g o that is being m a d e at this stage may b e displayed b y extreme narcissism. H e will gaze into the mirror in a self-regarding way and suddenly find that a c o m b does have a use. T h e b a t h r o o m d o o r may b e locked and demands are made for locks to b e d r o o m doors. Territory which hitherto had been o p e n to the parents is n o w closed. Associated with

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this is also the development o f a turbulent sexuality which initially may find expression in homosexual play, masturbation and which leads s o m e developmentally to the search for a mate. T h e adolescent will strike out into the world only to withdraw promptly to the safety o f the parental h o m e and values as it b e c o m e s t o o dangerous. T h e r e is an in-and-out as the adolescent tries to establish himself in the world and tests himself in it. In this, the values o f the parents are seen as old-fashioned, twisted, without virtue and need to be subverted. H e n c e the fascination in the adolescent for 'counter-culture' activities, the pursuit o f music, fashions and intellectual activities which g o against those o f his parents, the m o r e violently the better. H o w e v e r , the attack o n the parents and their values arouses feelings o f guilt, mourning and loss and the need to make reparation. It is in the working through these feelings that the adolescent b e c o m e s independent o f his parents and is thus able to achieve a new adult relationship with them. T h e individual may remain immature, stuck in the adolescent phase if these archetypal imperatives are not experienced. T h i s period o f life is, therefore, a period in which remarkable growth takes place, both physically and mentally and yet s o m e h o w the adolescent has to be contained within that state. It is a regressive state in which the forces o f the psyche are retrenched in order to integrate and find that e g o strength that the individual requires in order to m o v e forward psychologically to live as an adult. Edith Sullwold ( M a h d i 1997) writes with insight o f her experience with adolescent b o y s w h o used the element o f fire to act out their inner turmoil. T h e control, tending and the extinguishing o f the fire is the expression o f the archetypal need to b e contained. T h i s active containment is provided b y tribal societies in the contained ritual o f initiation b y the elders o f the adolescent's tribe. Here, the b o y is inducted into the m y t h o l o g y o f the tribe and is put to severe physical tests to mark the differentiation between the b o y and the man. H o w e v e r , the elders not o n l y provide the containment but also the role m o d e l o f what it is to b e a man. S u c h a grounded initiation does not take place in our society and the effects are clear in the uncontained antisocial behaviour o f many teenage boys. M a n y folk tales exist which show the requirement for containment and the presence o f the father. A Slav folk tale deals with this issue. T h i s story is called ' T h e S o n o f the K i n g ' s Daughter' (WeiBenberger 1990) and concerns a K i n g w h o so loved his daughter that he treated her as his wife and neglected his real wife, the C&ieen, thoroughly. A passing traveller saw the Queen's trouble and advised her to collect the scrapings o f a grave b o n e , put it in her daughter's coffee and she w o u l d fall pregnant. T h i s all happened and the K i n g , mortified that his subjects w o u l d think the child was his, put his daughter o n a boat with provisions and sent her out to sea. A son was born and grew up in isolation with his mother o n the boat. T h e son was ill-shaped, p r e c o c i o u s and powerful. Eventually, c o m i n g to land in another country he wrought havoc and repeatedly visited the local market where he collected food and refused to pay. H e had n o paternal m o d e l , n o o n e to establish boundaries and his mother was unable to instruct him. She did not tell h i m that he had to pay for these goods. H e thought they were his due. H e behaved in a similarly obtuse manner to the K i n g o f that country. T h e K i n g duly met his mother and married her. After the marriage, the y o u n g man took the K i n g for a walk in the forest until they came to a tree against which were p r o p p e d a n u m b e r

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o f rusty swords. T h e youth told the K i n g he should behead h i m and, as the K i n g hesitated, the youth said he w o u l d behead the K i n g if it were not d o n e to him. W h e n the K i n g performed the d e e d the youth changed from his coarse appearance to that o f a fine y o u n g man. H i s mother w o u l d not believe that this was her son. H e r e w e have the need for containment - paternal authority and role m o d e l . W h e r e is this today in our society where the archetype o f the father has been driven underground? T h e son g r o w s u p without the authority o f the father or o f the father as a role m o d e l and behaves in a belligerent, exploitative way. H e cannot o b e y the rules o f the collective because he has been 'at sea' with his mother; his mother knew n o better from a father besotted with her. It requires the father, the K i n g , to reassert the paternal boundaries so that the son can fit into the world and b e c o m e integrated with the collective. It is the son w h o takes the initiative with the K i n g w h o has b e c o m e his role m o d e l . It is the son w h o suggests that they walk in the forest for he ' k n o w s ' what he needs and what his task is. T h e task has not yet been achieved for the swords o f discrimination are rusty through disuse. T h u s the adolescent fights the parents against boundaries - what time to b e h o m e , h o w to behave, to d o his schoolwork - yet he knows he needs these boundaries to b e set and to see the role m o d e l o f the paternal authority with w h i c h he can identify. H e needs the swords to b e used. In late adolescence and early m a n h o o d , say between the ages o f eighteen to twentyfive, the y o u n g man m o v e s into the heroic stage o f life in which his task is to establish himself as an individual in the world b y separating finally from the enmeshment o f his family and particularly from his mother. T h e developmental task o f the early twenties is that the y o u n g man must n o w strengthen his e g o identity to enable him to love and work as an adult. T h i s archetypal need for e g o d e v e l o p m e n t is similar in intent to the developmental phase o f the t w o year old w h o is trying to separate from the m o t h e r / child dyad. Physical separation is insufficient because the internalized representation o f the mother, the mother i m a g o , is carried within the psyche and it is from the imago that the adolescent must ultimately separate. W e all have a mother c o m p l e x which remains as part o f us for o u r entire lives. T h i s c o m p l e x carries our accumulated experience o f mothering and encompasses the objective mother as she was and the subjective mother as she appeared clothed in our o w n projections. It is called a positive mother c o m p l e x when this experience is so powerful and fulfilling that it eclipses any subsequent relationship with w o m e n ; it is called a negative mother c o m p l e x when it is an experience o f unfulfilled needs or abuse. Both positive and negative mother c o m p l e x e s frustrate separation because the former offers m o r e than anyone else can give while the latter keeps us attendant in the h o p e that o u r needs will be met o n e day. Within both, within the shadow, lurks the unrealized need for independence which may be expressed in anger, yearning for the father and initiation into male maturity o r hopeless depression. Jung (1990) describes the typical effect o f the mother c o m p l e x o n the son as ' D o n Juanism, ( w h i c h may represent

a fear o f intimacy with an underlying sadism),

homosexuality (as a desire for male initiation) and i m p o t e n c e (which may represent a s y m b o l i c loss o f the phallus). T h e mother c o m p l e x , I also suggest, can sometimes b e expressed as m o o d i n e s s , resentfulness and a prickly touchiness as if nothing and n o -

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one is g o o d enough. Here, the adolescent may have b e c o m e identified with the mother c o m p l e x and so treats the world as the actual mother did when considering that it was not g o o d enough for her son. M o r e o v e r , Jung also says, the b o y ' s mother c o m p l e x does not appear in a pure form in that it is only constellated around the mother archetype but is also mixed u p with the anima, the feminine side o f a man. T h e anima is that part o f the psychic structure which represents the soul-image, enhances the feeling function and creative possibilities o f the man. T h e w h o l e s o m e anima frequently appears as a guide. It is the essence o f the legend which I wish to discuss which illustrates h o w the mother archetype and the anima are mixed up. H o w could it be otherwise? First love is love o f the mother and we must m o v e b e y o n d that for every love o f a woman is a reminder o f that. T h e relationship with the w o m a n is potentially influenced b y the internalized image o f the mother. A psychologically resolved relationship in which the anima is differentiated from the archetype o f the mother and in which the son can see the feminine otherness without his mother and in which b o t h the mother and the son are equals leads to m o r e appropriate behaviour by the son. Stories exist in most cultures which deal with the hero's journey to full e g o identity. In Greek myth (Graves 1992) we have the story o f Perseus' slaying o f M e d u s a the G o r g o n whose gaze petrified all living things. A n g l o - S a x o n myth gives us the story o f B e o w u l f (Wright 1963) w h o slays the dragon, Grendel's mother, w h o lives in the depths o f the mere (which is an image o f the unconscious). In the Babylonian myth o f Enuma Elish (Sproul 1991) the solar g o d , Marduk, conquers the powers o f darkness and chaos represented b y the mother goddess Tiamat in the form o f a dragon. M a n y dragons in our G r e c o - R o m a n heritage are founded in the mythologies o f the Near East: Sumeria, Babylon and Egypt and in these the o v e r c o m i n g o f the dragon has a sense o f overcoming evil and the powers o f darkness. T h i s idea is still contained in the devouring feminine n o w where the phrase ' S h e is an old dragon' is a way o f describing an old woman w h o is seen to have a certain p o w e r which is experienced as threatening. S o there is a fundamental congruence o f the dragon symbol with the experience o f the mother, particularly with the negative, devouring side o f the mother, that part which does not want to let g o o f the treasure she guards so vigilantly which is the child. T h e theme o f the separation from the mother, the fusion o f the

mother/anima

archetypes and the reward is the unconscious ground o f the story o f St G e o r g e and the dragon. T h i s theme has been painted b y many artists but I shall discuss a painting b y Paolo U c e l l o ( 1 3 9 7 - 1 4 7 5 ) which is in the National Gallery, L o n d o n . It is a small painting and a similar one is found in the L o u v r e for which the National Gallery painting is thought to be a study. T h e L o u v r e painting is considered to b e a panel for a cassoni da nozze, a bridal chest. T h i s would have stood at the foot o f the bed o f the newly-weds and the theme, therefore, penetrates to the c o r e o f the

relationship

between the y o u n g man and his bride. In the painting a y o u n g St G e o r g e (a puer, a man w h o is halted in the psychology o f adolescence) is driving the lance, the phallic divisive lance, into the dragon's eye. T h e dragon is held o n a lead b y the princess. W h a t is their connection if it does not g o to the root o f Jung's statement about the confusion o f the anima with the mother archetype in the unconscious? T h e colours o f the princess's dress are also reproduced o n the

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bull's-eyes o f the dragon's wings; the princess's dress touches the dragon. W h o s e side is the princess on? She seems closely allied with the dragon. H o w e v e r , the princess is the reward and St G e o r g e has to prove himself worthy o f her b y dealing with the dragon. D o e s St G e o r g e kill the dragon? A lance through the eye does not seem to b e a mortal b l o w . But it is a theme which brings us back to the petrifying gaze o f the G o r g o n . W h a t is it in the mother's gaze that immobilizes the y o u n g man and prevents h i m stepping out into the world? Perhaps it is the experience o f the mother's retentive quality or his o w n regressive yearnings that must b e psychologically destroyed. T h e y o u n g man fights to b e released. In a painting o f the same theme by Lucas Cranach ( 1 4 7 2 - 1 5 5 3 ) in the Kunsthalle, H a m b u r g , the fight between St G e o r g e and the dragon takes place in the foreground and the thrust o f the lance is delivered to the dragon's jaw. Again, this is not a mortal b l o w . In the background with their backs to us, going towards the city are St G e o r g e , the dragon and the princess. T h e message is clear: the dragon mother has been tamed but is present and each day will b e a struggle with her. T h e mother c o m p l e x will not be eliminated but stays present in the psyche - it is held o n the lead and it accompanies us to the city. T h i s connection between anima and the archetype o f the mother, in which the mother is in the foreground, resurfaces in adulthood w h e n the anima stands to the fore. Erikson (1995) holds that the psychological task to b e undertaken at this stage o f life is to learn intimacy. A d u l t intimacy in the presence o f the mother is unthinkable for it touches o n the incest taboo and the accompanying fear o f loss o f ego. Erikson suggests t o o , that failure to learn intimacy leads to self-absorbed isolation which prevents the man from reaching out and connecting with the world. This dichotomy is shown in the dream of a man in his fifties, R, whose task was still to effect a psychological separation from the mother and establish a connection with his feelings. For him the dragon appeared in the form of a witch riding a pig (the pig, because of its fecundity, is also an archetypal symbol of the fertility of the mother). She chased him across a large square. He escaped by ascending a drainpipe at the side of the church. A young woman, representing the princess/anima, stood beside the drainpipe, smoking a cigarette. She had no interest in what was going on before her. R did not engage in the fight but elected to remove himselffrom the world and so continue his self-imposed isolation. None of the figures were connected in the psyche. The young girl was unconcerned about his fate and she did not fear the witch, implying a connection between them. The dream suggests that R was still in the devouring power of the archetypal mother and not yet ready to engage in a relationship with the girl/anima, that is, not yet ready to engage in feeling. The witch gives up but the struggle will continue. A good outcome is suggested with the drainpipe against the church indicating a spiritual dimension to the quest and a requirement for assertion of R's phallic power.

ADULTHOOD T h e w o r d 'adult' is also related to the Latin 'adolescere' which I discussed in the previous section. H e r e , the sense o f 'adult', from the past participle 'adultus' has the

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sense o f ' g r o w n - u p , o f 'having reached the state o f maturity'. A d u l t h o o d is the last phase o f ego development and the individual is n o w established in the world and ready to engage in an intimate relationship with a partner and to take responsibility for the nurturing not only o f his o w n family but also to provide a protective embrace to his society and culture. W e may say that a position o f e g o integrity has been achieved. T h i s is the stage which Erikson (Erikson 1978, 1995) calls generativity. H e means generativity in its widest sense, not only in procreation o f children but also that the man works in a contributative and creative manner. T h e adult's generativity is based on trust, 'the assured reliance on another's integrity'. Erikson writes that generativity is essential for psychosocial and sexual development and without this the individual falls into the opposite pole o f stagnation. Stagnation leads through regression to a pseudo-intimacy and personal impoverishment in which the individual rather than the c o m m u n i t y and the outside world b e c o m e s the focus o f concern. T h i s is typified b y early invalidism and an essential lack o f faith in the future o f the species. Children fail to be seen to carry the potential o f the future because the adult is caught in stagnation and sees n o future himself. T h i s may also be a definition o f narcissism. S o m e middle-aged men w h o live with their mothers are examples o f this. Against this, the integrated adult is independent, knows w h o he is and stands his ground. In H o m e r ' s tale o f ' T h e O d y s s e y ' (Rieu 1988), Odysseus, the hero, learns h o w to d o this o n his return journey to Ithica after the ending o f the Trojan War. T h e outer purpose o f the journey is to learn prudence and d e v e l o p craft, shrewdness and enlightened self-interest as Odysseus m o v e s through adulthood; the inner purpose is the psychological task o f making conscious, unconscious shadow c o m p o n e n t s o f the psyche. I have selected salient incidents from the journey to illustrate h o w Odysseus moves through this development. T h e shadow part o f our psyche are all those repressed feelings, impulses and desires which w e , our parents and society have found unacceptable and which w e have been forced to hide. It carries also a sense o f our potential. W e b e c o m e w h o we truly are b y bringing the shadow into consciousness. Repressing shadow is hard work and takes energy. Individuals frequently b e c o m e more energetic when projections are withdrawn as part o f the shadow is made conscious. Odysseus leaves T r o y with twelve ships and his first port o f call is the town o f Ismarus in Ciconia. H e and his men kill and loot and plunder the town. Ί sacked the place and destroyed the men w h o held it', says Odysseus without feeling. T h e experience o f ten years o f war at T r o y is all that he knows. H e slays everything and has to m o v e through battle lust to understanding w h o he is. In o n e o f the most important episodes o f his journey, Odysseus meets P o l y p h e m u s , the giant, single-eyed C y c l o p s . T h e r e is n o social cohesion in the land o f the C y c l o p s for ' n o b o d y cares for his neighbour'. Polyphemus imprisons Odysseus and his m e n in his cave and intends to eat them. Odysseus, biding his time, makes the giant drunk and pierces his single eye with a fire hardened olive branch while he is asleep. P o l y p h e m u s ' neighbours ask w h o is tormenting him when the giant cries out and he replies ' N o b o d y ' , the name that Odysseus has given for himself and so P o l y p h e m u s receives

IMAGES OF LIMINALITY IN THE MASCULINE 111 n o help. Odysseus and his men escape b y strapping themselves to the underside o f the rams which P o l y p h e m u s lets out to pasture in the morning. H e r e , Odysseus is the hero. T h e hero may b e understood as a symbol o f the selfassertive struggle necessary for separation from the maternal matrix. T h e

hero's

journey has archetypal stages that take the hero through a process o f leaving the familiar, death, rebirth and a return to the world, renewed (Campbell 1973). T h i s episode may be seen as compensation for the u n c o m p r o m i s i n g heroic mentality that must achieve its task at any and all costs. T h i s is indeed the hero's life and death struggle to establish a connection with his o w n feminine qualities, the soul. T h e h e r o / adolescent must be full o f unassailable intention and c o m m i t m e n t to his o w n truth to d o this, b r o o k i n g n o others. T h e subordination o f the appropriately inflated self-worth is here symbolized b y the defeat o f the giant C y c l o p s . M o r e o v e r , giant mentality is traditionally stupid. Giants blunder through forests, uproot trees and are tricked b y the little folk. Giant w o r d s are absolutes such as 'always', 'never', 'everywhere' - w o r d s which allow n o c o m p r o m i s e and live in the single-eyed vision o f the giant. T h e s e words measure extremes w h i c h are the currency o f the y o u n g w h o deal in absolutes and have not learned to make c o m p r o m i s e s . H e n c e , in the world o f the giant there is n o social cohesion because paradox is not admitted. It is O d y s s e u s ' task to leave behind the inflated, single-eyed vision o f the hero so he b e c o m e s ' N o b o d y ' . H e will learn to accept the w o r l d in all its diversity and to understand that diversity from a new perspective in which he learns to make c o m p r o m i s e s and embrace ambivalence. T h e episode with the C y c l o p s is not the only o n e in O d y s s e u s ' journey in which he must confront gigantic figures. In the land o f the Lastrygones, Odysseus meets the monstrous K i n g and Q u e e n w h o may be said to represent the internalized image o f the experience o f the persecuting parents. Odysseus and his m e n scarcely escape with their lives as ships and m e n are killed when this pair hurl rocks from the cliff top. W e see here, that an insecurely attached child's feelings o f frustration and anger towards his parents, all part o f normal development, will b e experienced as dangerous since they may p r o v o k e retaliation. Left with unbearable emotions, the child must resort to defence mechanisms and deny, repress, split o f f and project his o w n rage into the very parents o f w h i c h he is already uncertain. T h e parents are then experience twice as bad because they not only provide insecure attachment but also carry the child's projected feelings. T h i s is the K i n g and Q u e e n hurling the persecutory rocks o n the small figures b e l o w . H o w e v e r , that is not to deny that s o m e children suffer real abuse at the hands o f their parents nor that all apparent bad parenting results in fear o f our o w n projected rage. I r e m e m b e r the surprise I felt, after listening to a patient's story about her abusive parents, when she brought family photographs to the session which showed the parents, children and pets in what appeared as a loving family. W e will need to work through both real memories and projections o f g o o d or abusive parents if w e wish to m o v e into integrated adult life. T h i s will include the authentic experience o f anger and fear and the m o u r n i n g o f the loss o r absence o f loving parents. W e can finally stop persecuting ourselves if w e n o w work through this process as adults. In order to deal with these shadow projections w e d o have to g o into a deeper part o f ourselves which Odysseus does in his journey when he is sent to the U n d e r w o r l d to consult the blind seer Tiresias. Tiresias has been both man and woman and can see into

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the depths o f all things. A n approach to the U n d e r w o r l d is to see into the depths and confront e g o death so that w e can leave parts o f ourselves that n o longer serve us just as Odysseus relinquishes parts o f himself and, therefore, changes in the transitions o f his journey. A change in e g o consciousness is required for which the e g o has to die in order to b e resurrected. Each transition in our life's journey is a death as we leave behind what is known and, therefore, comfortable and m o v e into a new land, the lie o f which w e d o not yet understand. T h i s experience is shown clearly in the following dream: A patient, H, dreamed that it was the end of the war and that he was Himmler and that the only solution was to commit suicide. He does so in the dream by taking an arsenic pill He lies on the bed, crunching the pill between his teeth and feeling his body relaxing into what he believes to be death. He describes the sensation as comfortable since he also knows that he will not die. A nearby clock shows the time which is approaching the time for his usual session. At one level this dream represented a descent into the unconscious which H does when he goes to his sessions. It also represented an escape from the considerablefinancialdifficulties which beset him. We saw in retrospect, however, that this death was also the beginning of a new stage in H's psychological development in which rigid, militaristic attitudes were abandoned. A l s o , it is b y confronting death, b y confronting our actual physical demise, that w e are liberated from the fear o f it. It changes our attitude to dying and transforms o u r way o f being in the world; w e n o longer make elaborate preparations to stave o f f death but have enthusiasm to seize the day. It also prepares the way for the experience at the time o f biological demise so that w e can depart gracefully, reconciled to the living. T h e r e are six encounters with the feminine in Odysseus' journey, the last o f which is with his wife, Penelope in the hierosgamos, the sacred marriage. T h e journey has prepared h i m for this final blessed reunion with his wife, fully aware o f w h o he and she is. T h e confrontation with the feminine, with his o w n anima, is an important part o f that journey. F o u r o f the figures which he encounters are all ' m a g i c ' figures which would seem to suggest that they are primarily undifferentiated anima figures, parts o f himself which are deeply unknown and which still carry a large element o f unconscious shadow and seductive, regressive feelings related to the mother. T h e anima is also the link between a man and the world and between man and his interior life and is thus also a guide to relationships. It is the e m b o d i m e n t o f the 'aliveness' o f an individual and brings relatedness into his life. T h e way w e relate to the anima in our unconscious is also h o w w e relate to the outside world. W e have discussed above that for the man the feminine function in himself is infused with the experience o f the mother. T h u s the man will b e unconsciously reminded o f the mother when he seeks the feminine outside himself in lovers and partners even though he may have effected the psychological separation from the mother at the heroic stage. What deep feelings are buried as w e caress a lover's breast which was the source o f nurture for our infant selves? A n d h o w threatening are the images o f seductive ease and terrible fear o f annihilation which was o u r infant world and which remain in the shadow? T h e r e is something reiterative about Odysseus' experience o f these anima figures which mirror the unhealthy patterns w e repeat in our o w n lives until a shift occurs and we understand w h y w e are caught in these patterns. A man will 'fall' into love with the

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same type o f w o m a n again and again and each affair will end in the same unhappy manner; o r he may remain discontentedly in an unhappy relationship because he does not have the self-awareness to understand his plight. In the same way, in therapy, we return to the same issues repeatedly until we have brought a little m o r e o f the shadow into consciousness and b e c o m e m o r e insightful about our o w n behaviour. W e can then m o v e o n . O d y s s e u s can only m o v e o n when he knows e n o u g h to b e free e n o u g h to see the w o r l d as it is. In Circe, he meets the instinctual, maternal

level o f the anima. Circe turns

O d y s s e u s ' m e n into swine ( w e have seen the pig above as a s y m b o l o f the archetype o f the m o t h e r ) . T h e pig also represents the instinctual at a primitive infantile level in gluttony, lust and anger. Odysseus is able to withstand the enchantments o f the anima infused with the mother c o m p l e x and to escape the trammels o f the primitive instincts with the help and advice o f the g o d H e r m e s , the g o d o f transition and changes, o f liminal states. A clinical example of the way instincts may dominate our feelings is found in the case of N'an anxious patient who had been weaned early and unsatisfactorily. He would consume large amounts of junk food on his way to sessions, devouring it greedily in the street: hamburgers, pizzas, gooey cakes, sweets. The anxiety about the forthcoming session, that he may not be given enough nourishment, had to be satisfied with this gluttonous behaviour in which he was feeding his despairing starving infant self. The behaviour stopped after the first year of therapy spontaneously as he recognized unconsciously that the process was giving him the nourishment he needed. He was rescued from his Circe needs by the hermetic experience of therapeutic intervention. T h e Sirens are another image o f the regressive p o w e r o f the feminine and in their form also suggest the succubus which w o u l d have sexual intercourse with a man while he was asleep and wrest from h i m his strength. O d y s s e u s ' response is a phallic assertion o f the e g o as he stays conscious and ties himself to the mast o f his ship. T h e mast may also represent the W o r l d T r e e as a s y m b o l o f the universe, o f w i s d o m and eternal life and that O d y s s e u s , b y withstanding the allure o f the Sirens, is allied to these forces and earns his place in the w o r l d . An example of this comes from a colleague who recounted her experience with a thrice-divorced patient who found irresistible women who emanated a certain kind of sexual promise. He married these women and as the enchantment fell away, as his projections were withdrawn from the current wife, he would fall in love with a similar woman with whom he would begin an affair which would lead to the dissolution of the current marriage. The marriages remained childless and the wives all had a striking physical resemblance to each other and to his mother. Unlike O d y s s e u s , he had not found a mast to which he could tie himself. T h e n , Odysseus meets the vagina dentata, the vagina with teeth, the devouring feminine in the encounter with Scylla and Charybdis. Here, he faces the elemental male fear o f castration and annihilation in the sense that a man unconsciously imagines that he can b e c o n s u m e d b y a w o m a n he enters. T h i s feeling is heightened b y postorgasmic detumescence with the attendant sense o f loss o f power. T h e vagina dentata is also a universal s y m b o l o f the castrating mother (the mother's iron gates o f life) and suggests masculine ambivalence to the mother. T o stay within that from which life

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emerges is to experience death. T h e fear o f the devouring mother needs to b e faced for without this a man may be impotent not only sexually but also in his relationships with others. Calypso, the clinging feminine, is the last o f the ' m a g i c ' figures with w h o m Odysseus is marooned for seven years. T h i s is a full cycle for it is thought that seven years is the time required for every cell in our bodies to be renewed. H e has lost all his men and ships and sits on the seashore weeping for his homeland. T h r o u g h loss he has changed. Calypso has offered to make him immortal to keep him identified with the unconscious but he wishes to return to Ithica. Odysseus has found a grounding within himself b y rejecting immortality and attendant grandiosity. H e is able to relate to the world. Odysseus' fifth encounter with the anima is with Nausicca, the royal daughter. H e is shipwrecked and naked, exhausted and stripped o f everything. H e crawls from the sea as if he were being reborn and shelters under an olive tree in which the wild and cultivated stock are intertwined. Nausicca, the princess and as the helpful

anima,

guides Odysseus to her father's palace, the K i n g , which can be said to represent Odysseus' encounter with the Self. Nausicca has the 'elfin' characteristic o f the true anima (Jacobi 1968) which appears to the man after aspects o f the unconscious have b e c o m e differentiated and aspects o f shadow have been brought into consciousness. W e discriminate over our feelings and desires for they are n o longer projected. T h u s , we shall have achieved a certain independence o n c e the contrasexual element in ourselves is known. F r o m the arena o f internal independence from projections w e can make appropriate connection to the external world and the Self. Odysseus symbolically does this in the mystical hierosgamos, the sacred marriage with his wife, Penelope, with w h o m he celebrates a physical union, after he has dealt with the suitors, in the marital bed carved from a living olive tree. T h e hierosgamos is the final resolution, the meeting o f the opposites in which each o f the parts makes the whole and which was anticipated in the image o f the wild and cultivated olive tree above. Washburn (1994) calls this period o f life the last stage o f the e g o project in which the individual has established a place in the world through work and love. T h e e g o is n o w supreme and has n o other challenges to meet. It has been a o n e sided but necessary development to deal with the tasks o f this period o f life. N o w , new ways must be sought to restore equilibrium to the psyche to meet the obligations for the next stage o f life.

MID

LIFE

T h e period o f m i d life prepares us for new life tasks and the period can vary for each o f us from the beginning o f the forties to the early sixties. U p to this point, the e g o project which has been m o v i n g us forward and which was important to enable us to deal with the world, hold d o w n a j o b and nurture families c o m e s up against a barrier. Suddenly, the things which were important n o longer are. Perhaps the goals which were set earlier in life have been achieved. N o w what? Everything else seems barren and a wasteland. O r the individual has failed to achieve his goals and reviews his life in terms o f failure and the future looks equally bleak.

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T h i s is the time o f life when a n e w psychological relationship is required with the world and with oneself. T h e e g o has m o v e d forward into an increasingly isolated position and this o n e - s i d e d d e v e l o p m e n t is unhealthy. Other aspects o f the psyche need to b e acknowledged. T h e m i d life period is, therefore, a period o f adjustment in which n e w relationships will be established intra-psychically in preparation for a c o n n e c t i o n with spiritual values and a connection with the Self. Ideally, this stage o f life in Indian culture is characterized b y the man handing over the family affairs to the son and g o i n g o f f into the world to find his soul as sanyasii, as a mendicant. It is a period o f painful adjustment in which w e have to give u p the things w e thought o f as having value. H o w e v e r , not everyone goes through this turmoil, this crashing o f gears to find a n e w meaning. S o m e , according to Jung, proceed o n the s m o o t h path o f instinct. H o w e v e r , the disappointment in failing to achieve the goals or the disappointment in realizing that the goals are insufficient to provide lasting satisfaction lead us to reconsider the value o f the goals. T h e fundamental questions that confront us may lead to disintegration o f the world as w e k n o w it and into states o f depression w h i c h are not associated with unhappy or tragic life circumstances or developmental failure. T h e s e are frequently c o n c e r n e d with fundamental

questions

about identity. W h o am I? W h a t am I d o i n g here? W h a t is m y purpose? In many respects these are akin to adolescent questions about identity but are n o w based o n what w e had felt to b e a secure adult identity. T h i s makes them m o r e difficult to acknowledge for there is n o sense o f future development. W e are it! W h a t now? H e r e is a return o f the repressed shadow and there is a strange shadowy behaviour at this stage o f life. W e feel, perhaps, that something has been stolen from us and w e have to compensate for it. T h e theft is the goals which w e have or have not achieved and for m e n , particularly, there are feelings about the loss o f sexual potency. T h e compensation takes the f o r m o f thieving o f spouses, the aberrant shoplifting o f the m i d d l e aged; s o m e men leave their families and take up with m u c h younger w o m e n in an attempt to steal back the lost part o f their lives. Geographical relocation is another way in w h i c h w e try to find n e w meaning: ' I f I n o w lived in the c o u n t r y / a n island/ Scotland instead o f where I d o live everything w o u l d be better.' But w o u l d it? W e take our internal states with us and nothing changes. But w e cannot see that there is another dimension to b e achieved until w e have g o n e through this phase o f renunciation. In mythological terms w e can turn to the B o o k o f Jonah for revelation about this stage o f life. Again, this story can be read at several levels but let us consider it from the aspect o f the m i d life experience. W h a t is Jonah's experience? T h e L o r d calls him to g o to Ninevah to d o H i s work. T h i s is the n e w relationship required between the e g o and the Self, the spiritual dimension. O f course, it is difficult and Jonah d o e s not want to d o it. H e tries geographical relocation in order to meet the intra-psychic requirements and runs away to sea: to the u n c o n s c i o u s . But he is not free o f his internal demand, for the L o r d sends a great wind and the sailors w o n d e r w h y this is happening and cast lots. But Jonah is missing. W h e r e is he? H e is in the bowels o f the ship, fast asleep - a further denial, another defence against what is required o f h i m and also pointing to his final stage o f transformation in the belly o f the fish. Finally, he d o e s admit to the crew that it is through h i m that the L o r d is causing this great storm and offers to have himself thrown

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overboard to save the ship. Jonah is n o w prepared to g o into the unconscious to find the connection that the Self wants o f him. H e is swallowed u p b y a great fish in whose belly he spends three days and nights. T h i s is the deepest part o f the affliction visited upon Jonah, a liminal state, the alchemical nigredo where everything is chaos, darkness and despair. It is also frequently the state o f mind that brings people to therapy which is the first step o f transformation. T h i s stage o f life has the quality o f stripping d o w n , o f reducing so that we are faced with the awesome c h o i c e o f b e c o m i n g different, o f m o v i n g into a different phase o f our life. Behind that lie despair and nihilism. I came into therapy in m y early fifties. M y marriage had failed and I felt myself to be at a dead end in m y work which I had never liked m u c h . I was assailed b y feelings o f nihilism, b y the flatness o f experience where there are n o highs and lows; the world was uniformly grey. I felt that m y world was governed b y others and I had n o control. I was b o r e d and had a feeling that any action was futile. I did not know w h o I was and the e g o compensation was overwhelming grandiosity. I had to demonstrate that I was o f value and had special insights. I made grandiose gestures in order to feel that I was effective. T h i s sense o f b o r e d o m , nihilism and narcissism led to feelings o f profound alienation. E g o not only loses interest in the world but also loses touch. T h i s , Washburn writes (1994), is a double-sided process. T h e e g o b e c o m e s cut o f f and the world b e c o m e s inaccessible. T h e individual feels depersonalized as I did. M y view was 'All this does not matter. I am not connected to it.' S o u n d s came as if through a long tunnel and the world appeared flat, in a two-dimensional perspective. O f course, this also created anxiety because suddenly the known touchstones had vanished. Washburn calls this 'radical freedom'; since there were n o constraints nothing mattered. T h e management o f m y c o m p a n y lost confidence in m e and I was dismissed. T h o u g h t s o f suicide became frequent and the possibility existed since this had already happened in m y family. A t this point, stripped like Jonah with the weeds about his head, I started therapy and began to connect with that part o f m y psyche which I had ignored for the last thirty years in the proper struggle to hold d o w n a j o b and provide for m y family. W i t h o u t being stripped o f the illusions which our e g o has cherished we cannot m o v e on to the next stage. H e n c e Jonah's sojourn in the belly o f the great fish. N o t h i n g m o r e profound or worse could happen to him. Jonah, b y being swallowed b y a great fish, is granted a vision o f the t w o worlds, the spiritual and the material. H e surrenders his e g o to gain a higher w i s d o m . T h i s is also an initiation into the next phase o f life, old age, with the preparation for death.

OLD AGE W e are faced with contradictions when we think o f old age. O n the one side w e have the image o f the wise old man speaking his words in a sonorous, measured tone and revered for his w i s d o m , the carrier o f the culture o f the c o m m u n i t y . O n the other side rests the incontinent, physically frail, mentally confused individual b o u n d to his armchair. T h e r e is, therefore, a paradoxical meaning to old age. O l d age is certainly a time o f

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depletion and loss o f faculties as Shakespeare lets us k n o w in As You Like It where he describes the last o f the seven ages o f man: Last scene of all, T h a t ends this strange eventful history, Is second childishness and mere oblivion, Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything. T h e r e are p r o f o u n d changes not only in the physical capacity but also in the behaviour o f individuals as they age. T h e sense o f depletion o f the b o d y has concurrent patterns in e g o consciousness. E g o functioning may b e diminished and hence m o r e primitive patterns o f behaviour can emerge. T h e tendency to use projective m e c h a nisms (Rayner 1997) increases. T h e s e had been either rationalized or repressed in adult life. T h e emergence o f the repressed shadow in projections in old age may result in uncharacteristic quarrelsome behaviour, irrationality, inflexibility and rigidity; breaks with family, neighbours and friends may o c c u r : think o f the erratic behaviour o f K i n g Lear. Perhaps the o l d person feels smaller, less in charge, less autonomous. T h i s may find expression in anxiety about road crossing, in dealing with the swirl and e d d y o f daily life or a c r o w d e d r o o m as the diminished e g o is overwhelmed. H o w e v e r , this change in e g o functioning also brings a freedom in which conventional behaviour is overturned in favour o f spontaneity as e g o restraints are loosened. W h i l e we have this sense o f depletion and impoverishment, we d o also have, as mentioned above, the cultural view o f the wise o l d man, the senex. If we accept this idea we should also recognize the hierarchies o f age in family, work, politics and the arts. W e should accept the view that the old b e given respect for their views and actions which is deserved for the weight o f experience o f life that these encompass. T h e s e hierarchies, though, n o longer exist in Western culture. T h e r e is n o sense that the younger generations must serve an apprenticeship or learn from a master. Each generation reinvents the wheel for itself and the inflexibility and rigidity o f the old is seen to stop progress which makes them unsuitable for a market place where novelty and d e v e l o p ment are at a p r e m i u m . O l d age b e c o m e s a matter o f perception when the c u t - o f f date in c o m p a n y recruitment schemes is forty-five. A dynamic, profitable organization is one

in which y o u n g managers have the hands o n the levers o f power. T h e r e is, perhaps, from the perspective o f the old person also a fear o f c o p i n g with

the new which results in the denial o f the new. I f the new is accepted then it will supplant what I k n o w and h o w d o I manage with m y diminished e g o capability? In the p r e - O l y m p i c divine dynasties C r o n u s castrated his father, Uranus, to supplant him and heeding Uranus' curse that C r o n u s w o u l d in turn b e supplanted b y his children, swallowed them as they were born. Finally he t o o , was tricked b y his youngest child and o v e r c o m e . It is part o f the natural order that the o l d are o v e r c o m e to give way to the y o u n g and for the old to resist the y o u n g lest they are annihilated. T h e r e is, though, an inevitable sense o f loss for the old which c o m e s about through loss not only o f physical and mental capacities but also o f a loss o f connection with the collective. T h e great Irish poet, W . B . Yeats (Yeats 1958), deals with this issue in the first stanza o f ' S a i l i n g to Byzantium'.

118

STEPHEN FRIEDRICH That is no country for old m e n . T h e young In one another's arms, birds in the trees - Those dying generations - at their song, The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas, Fish, flesh, or fowl, c o m m e n d all s u m m e r long Whatever is begotten, born, and dies. Caught in that sensual music all neglect Monuments of unageing intellect.

T h i s p o e m was written in 1926 when Yeats was 61 (old age is not necessarily only chronological; s o m e o f us are old before our time) and included in the collection o f p o e m s published in 1928 in a volume entitled The Tower. H e had returned from England to Ireland in triumph. In 1922 he had been awarded honorary degrees b y Belfast University and Trinity College, D u b l i n . H e had been appointed to the Senate by the President o f Ireland and in 1924 was awarded the N o b e l Prize for Literature. But s o m e h o w it was not enough for he was blind in o n e eye and deafness was c o m i n g on t o o . T h e r e was physical decay and the sense that the b o d y n o longer worked. S o , the p o e m s o f The Tower are full o f bitterness at a time o f his greatest worldly triumphs but they did not compensate Yeats for the feelings o f old age. T h e sense o f depletion in which the being-all-right in the world had disappeared also brought with it for h i m , feelings o f depression. T h e r e is also in the last two lines o f this stanza the bitterness that the achievements o f the old will be ignored as they are displaced by the young. T h i s ejection from the collective also deprives the old o f a role. H o w e v e r , the lack o f a role does bring a certain freedom. Conventional behaviour b e c o m e s unimportant. Old

people may ignore someone they have never liked or they wear slippers to dinner

parties (Guggenbuhl-Craig 1991). O l d people b e c o m e emotionally m o r e volatile and can laugh and cry with the spontaneity o f the child. T h e r e is, paradoxically, a lack o f rigidity behind the barriers o f old age but it is o n e which is o f benefit to society. T h e lack o f restraint brings a certain grounding. W i t h o u t being beholden to any authority the old can say things as they are and with the child cry, ' T h e Emperor has n o clothes'. T h e r e is a madness in the freedom where certainties about life are laid d o w n in the marrow-bones o f experience, a devil-may-care attitude which Yeats captures so well in his p o e m ' T h e W i l d O l d W i c k e d M a n ' in which the wild old wicked man is also connected to the divine in his relationship to the ' o l d man in the skies'. 'Because I a m m a d about w o m e n I a m mad about the hills', Said that wild old wicked m a n W h o travels where God wills. 'Not to die on the straw at home, Those hands to close those eyes, That is all I ask, m y dear, From the old m a n in the skies'

IMAGES OF LIMINALITY IN THE MASCULINE The

o l d p r o v i d e boundaries which are both containing and restraining.

119 The

containment is in the sense o f family history and that things are set to g o in a certain way.

T h e y carry the history o f the family and o f the c o m m u n i t y . T h e restraint c o m e s

from the external rigidity, the unwillingness to consider n e w ideas that stop progress; but the mental and physical depletions o f old age bring the o l d to face the end o f life. Feelings may arise about the u n c o m p l e t e d tasks, the regret for a life only half lived which may culminate in despair that everything is n o w t o o late. H o w e v e r , the despair o f the o l d may b e transcended if the connection between the ego and the S e l f is achieved. T h i s task was initiated in the m i d life period. T h e n , there is a way forward to a spiritual dimension in w h i c h the past is recognized with a sense o f achievement. In the s e c o n d stanza o f Yeats' 'Sailing t o Byzantium' he considers the fate o f the o l d man w h o has lost t o u c h with the collective. An aged m a n is but a paltry thing, A tattered coat upon a stick, unless Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing For every tatter in its mortal dress. It is the soul's clapping o f the hands, the celebration o f the b o d y as it is and the sense o f being alive despite the depletions o f age w h i c h give o l d p e o p l e , w h o have achieved a sense o f integration and a sense o f spiritual values, a feeling that life is worth living. If soul d o e s not clap its hands for us then we are spiritually dead; w e are reduced to despair and b e c o m e paltry things if there is n o transcendent c o n n e c t i o n between the Self and e g o . W e b e c o m e that g r u m p y o l d relative w h o is shunted into a side r o o m during family parties so as not to affect the rest o f the family with his m o o d . It is in the aliveness o f the individual that o l d age is celebrated and paradoxically, this aliveness also c o m e s from a readiness to face death. T h e connection between the ego and the Self w h i c h informs our lives with a sense o f spiritual values enables us also to look back o n o u r lives with a sense o f achievement as being the life we have lived; it is the only life w e have had and that it will d o . T h e r e is a sense o f letting go. W e are able to face death with dignity because w e are conscious o f what we are about. DEATH If w e consider that birth is an assertive, masculine act in which we m o v e energetically into life then death can b e thought o f as a diffusion, a surrender and has m o r e o f a feminine quality and a return to the mother. T h i s is an inscription o n a seventeenth century memorial tablet in St Martin's C h u r c h in C w m y o y , Wales which conveys this sense o f easeful death so well: T h o m a s Price he takes his nap In our c o m m o n Mother's lap W a i t i n g to heare the Bridegroome say A w a k e m y dear and c o m e a w a y T h o u g h this slipping into the lap o f the mother is a universal experience it is, nevertheless, an experience that s o m e face unwillingly. It is the end and endings are difficult for they lead into the unknown. W e are not that sure about resurrection

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though T h o m a s Price awaits the call. H o w e v e r , as Odysseus came to understand o n his visit to the U n d e r w o r l d , it is only in facing and accepting death, in facing the unknown that w e learn to live. M a n y d o c u m e n t e d examples exist o f m e n and w o m e n w h o have had 'near death' experiences, w h o have been brought back to life and have then adopted another way o f living intensively in the m o m e n t as if every m o m e n t were precious. It is as if they relished each m o m e n t o f life because they have experienced the finality o f death. H o w e v e r , we d o not k n o w h o w this experience is transcended for n o - o n e can truly die and return to recount the experience. W e have only unconscious fantasies, dreams and the writings o f poets to give us an intimation o f the k i n g d o m o f the dead. T o d a y , the subject death is also further removed from consciousness than it was for our forebears. W e are n o longer reminded o f death in our conscious lives as were our medieval ancestors b y w o o d c u t s o f the dance o f death or depictions o f the charnel house; nor d o w e see, except in picture galleries, paintings

such as the

pre-

Enlightenment 'vanitas' pictures with the skull placed among objects which symbolize the pleasures o f this world. W e are not reminded that at the end there is the corruption o f the b o d y . W e try to evade death: we undergo cosmetic surgery to preserve youth. W e h o p e for immortality through cryogenic preservation. W e undertake frantic diets, exercise regimes and c o n s u m e vitamin pills b y the cartload. W e try to stop time. T h e ancient Egyptians, however, evolved an after-life in which death was birth into a perfect life with the gods and all o f life was a preparation for death. F o r the majority o f Christians, death, t o o , is a joining with G o d which will b e perfected o n the D a y o f Judgement when the corporeal b o d y is resurrected. In these faiths the individual must also live a g o o d life in the here and n o w in order to gain the rewards o f divine proximity in the next. T h e Greek g o d o f the U n d e r w o r l d , Hades, is seen as the enemy o f all life and without pity. H e is seldom worshipped since prayer and sacrifice have n o effect and he is hated b y gods and men. O n l y black animals are sacrificed to him. T h e ghosts o f the dead are incorporeal images o f their former selves without mind or consciousness in the realm o f Hades. A r e w e strong enough to face these images which give us n o hope? W h a t d o dreams and fantasies tell us about what happens o n death? M a r i e - L o u i s e von Franz describes a man's dream in ' O n Death and D r e a m s ' (von Franz 1984) the night after he had been given a medical death warrant which he could not accept. H e dreamed that he saw a green, half high, not yet ripe wheat field. A herd o f cattle had broken into it and destroyed everything in it. A voice from above called out that everything seems to be destroyed but that the wheat will g r o w again from the roots under the earth. T h i s dream suggests that while the corporeal b o d y may decay with death, something does continue: the fundamental

essence, the root o f the thing

continues. M a n y examples exist in the early mythologies which show the connection between grain and resurrection. W e find a picture o f Osiris, the Egyptian L o r d o f the D e a d , from the B o o k o f the D e a d o f Hunefer painted o n papyrus around 1285 BC ( H o r n u n g 1990) in which Osiris is laid out and new corn sprouts from his dead b o d y which is being watered b y an acolyte. Similarly, Frazer (1929) writes that the festivities o f the ancient fertility gods Attis, A d o n i s and T a m m u z were all associated with grain as a

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basis for sure resurrection. A R o m a n fresco shows a soul escorted b y t w o funerary genii in which the soul carries an ear o f wheat. In the M i d d l e A g e s wheat germ symbolized Christ w h o descended into the underworld and was resurrected. T h e resurrection through grain finds its most apposite expression in the sacrament o f the Eucharist in which the transubstantiated b o d y o f Christ is offered in the form o f grain as a c o m m u n i o n wafer. T h e r e is also something o f the vegetable world at the source o f the imagery o f death and dying. It is almost as if the nitrogen cycle were invoked to take care o f the corruptible b o d y from which n e w growth emerges. Y e t what remains o f the psyche? V o n Franz's interpretation o f the dream above saw it as a hint that the life o f the psyche continues s o m e h o w after death. W e rail against dying yet it is in accepting death that w e seem to make an easy passage into death. Failure to accept death seems to bring dream images o f violence, o f shadowy behaviour, o f burglars. For a short time I had a patient, P, in her forties who was dying of cancer, a diagnosis which she refused to accept. This patient brought a dream to the first session in which her place of work was dilapidated and boarded up and a violent, dangerous man abducted her in a car and drove her erratically and dangerously to an unknown destination. T h e abduction o f the K o r e b y Hades was a strong association for m e . H e r refusal to face the possibilities o f her death brought these violent images to her dreams almost as if the u n c o n s c i o u s were trying to bring her to consciousness, to make her recognize that she was in the grip o f life and that life was at an end. Y e t , it is part o f the d e v e l o p m e n t o f our life that w e should c o m e to accept death gracefully and with equanimity. A n accepting attitude to death and the last stage o f our life's journey enables us to deal with our affairs in the sure knowledge o f what we are d o i n g and to make appropriate leave-takings without bitterness. T h i s quotation from ' T h e New Natural Death B o o k ' (Albery 1997) is a source o f reconciliation between the living and the dead in which the living partake o f the finality o f death: 'Often in the back country o f M o n t a n a , a hole will b e d u g and the b o d y , in a plain pine coffin or perhaps just wrapped in a tie-died cloth, will b e lowered into the ground. Instead o f a tombstone, a fruit tree is planted over the b o d y . T h e roots are nourished b y the return o f that b o d y into the earth from which it was sustained. A n d in the years to follow, eating the fruit from that tree will b e like partaking in that loved one. It touches on the ritual o f the Eucharist.'

CONCLUSION T h e numinosity o f these images live in the containers o f the story, p o e m or legend and they only live in us if w e approach them ourselves. W e have to b e alone with them in order to let them live in us and they d o so the m o r e frequently w e attend to them. T h i s chapter is an introduction to images which may not speak directly to y o u n o w . H o w e v e r , the important thing is to spend time with them: chant the same p o e m out daily until the images b e c o m e alive, suddenly, what was mysterious in the language takes o n meaning. I f w e read folk tales at bed-time we may find that our dream life

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suddenly b e c o m e s m o r e vigorous for these images touch the unconscious profoundly. T h e stories are many faceted and we find what is meaningful for us in them and it is by exploring the meanings we receive from stories that w e find connections. O u r stories are based o n images that have been sifted through the unconscious o f our ancestors and are founded in the collective. T h i s makes them relevant for all o f us. I feel that this was addressed in a dream which came to m e while I was working on the conclusion o f this chapter when I dreamed that an ancestor was giving m e the w i s d o m o f the age which he had written d o w n . O n e o f the messages o f this dream seems to b e the incorruptibility o f ancestral m e m o r y . I have written o f the personal mother and father but the dream seems to be saying that there are other family figures behind them which have also contributed to the way we are. W e are not only the product o f our parents but o f our ancestral family. It also made m e think o f Philip Larkin's p o e m , ' T h i s B e T h e Verse'. His theme is that our parents fuck us u p because they were fucked up in their turn by their parents and so it recedes into history. Larkin r e c o m m e n d s that we have n o children ourselves to escape this misery. T h i s seems somewhat radical. Perhaps a better answer is to b e c o m e aware, to b e c o m e conscious o f the forces in the psyche so that we can understand what we are about and use our understanding to break the cycle. O n e o f the ways o f doing this is by entering therapy. In therapy we try to explore the ' A s i f . . . ' quality o f stories. H o w d o we use them in the therapeutic setting? First, b y letting them suffuse our o w n imaginations and so, even unspoken, their patterns o f wisdom will be present and mediated b y and through the unconscious. Perhaps it is only when a therapist is in contact with his o w n archetypal experience that he will be able to constellate it in his patient. W e may often find synchronous events occurring if there is this connection. I started recently with a new patient with w h o m I felt an immediate rapport. H e was carrying a c o p y o f H o m e r ' s ' T h e O d d y s s e y ' when he arrived for the first session. H e had not only picked u p m y o w n preoccupations while writing this chapter but had also found a way to start his o w n journey. S e c o n d l y , stories also provide supervision as they chart the patterns o f psyche's unfolding. A patient may recount an event that reminds m e o f something in a story and the connection opens to an understanding that was not there previously. Finally, when appropriate, stories may provide amplification to personal associations, both in the understanding o f dreams and the dream that is life. Jung has suggested (Jung 1991) that the second half o f our lives open out into 'culture' where the small egotistical concerns o f life broaden and expand, lifting and connecting us to the collective themes that have run through our lives since the beginning o f time. Perhaps our existential 'aloneness' may be alleviated in this way as we connect to something greater.

REFERENCES Albery, N. (1997). The New Natural Death Handbook, N. Alberry, G. Elliot and J. Elliot (eds). London: Rider. Campbell, J. (1973). The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Bollingen Series. Princeton: Princeton University.

IMAGES OF LIMINALITY IN THE MASCULINE 123 Erikson, Erik H. (ed.) (1978). Adulthood. New York: W. W. Norton. Erikson, Erik H. (1995). Childhood and Society. London: Vintage. Frazer, Sir James G. (1929). The Golden Bough - A Study tn Magic and Religion (abridged edition). London: Macmillan. Graves, Robert (1992). The Greek Myths. London: Penguin. Guggenbiihl-Craig, A. (1991). The Old Fool and the Corruption of Myth. Dallas, Texas: Spring Publications Inc.. Hillman, J. (1991). Loose Ends. Dallas, Texas: Spring Publications, Inc.. Hornung, E. (trans.) (1990). Das Totenbuch der Agypter. Hamburg: Goldman Verlag. Jacobi, J. (1968). The Psychology of C. G. Jung. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Jung, C. G. (1990). The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious, vol. 9, Part 1 of Collected Works. London: Routledge. Jung, C. G. (1991). The Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche, vol. 8 of Collected Works. London: Routledge. Mahdi, L. C. (ed.) (1997). Betwixt and Between: Patterns of Masculine and Feminine Initiation. La Salle, Illinois: Open Court/Steven Foster & Meredith Little. Rayner, E. (1997). Human Development. London and New York: Routledge. Rieu, Ε. V. (trans.) (1988). Homer: The Odyssey. London: Penguin. Sproul, B. (1991). Primal Myths. San Francisco: HarperCollins, von Franz, M . - L . (1984). On Dreams and Death. Boston and London: Shambhala. Washburn, M . (1994). Transpersonal Psychology in Psychoanalytic Perspective. New York: State University of New York Press. WeiBenberger, M . (ed.) (1990). Màrchen von Vatern und Tochtern. Frankfurt am Main: Fischer Taschenbuch Verlag GmbH. Wright, D. (trans.) (1963). Beowulf London: Penguin. Yeats, W. B. (1958). Collected Poems ofW. B. Yeats. London: Macmillan.

CHAPTER 6

Changes and Transitions Valerie Coumont Graubart

Nothing in life is constant except change

Editor's note: In taking us on a journey into the myriad forms of change in adult life, Valerie Coumont Graubart illustrates the many different forms of change and rites of passage. She describes the process, with its shared sense of chaos, descent, not knowing and passages into the new, and the initiatory quality of transitions. She puts herself warmly, and sometimes fiercely, into the writing of this chapter, as a vulnerable human being and as a therapist with strong views about human life at the turn of the twentieth century. A deep concern for her is to name the reality of the anger carried collectively by women over hundreds of years which has had no voice, but often is suffused into symptoms such as depression, eating disorders and relationship difficulties. She challenges psychotherapists to embrace the power of this reality in terms of the historical, economic and social effects of the oppression of women, rather than using psychological theory as yet another burden for women to carry. Particularly evocative are the many vivid individual stories of change that she has shared with her patients, ending with the very moving images that remain of her grandmother's death. E.W.M.

W

hen I asked the / Ching, the Book o f Changes, what it had to say about change, I got the character Ku W o r k on what has been Spoiled. T h e Judgement y

began:

Work on what has been spoiled Has supreme success. It furthers one to cross the great water. T h e Commentary reads: The Chinese character Ku represents a bowl in whose contents worms are breeding. This means decay. And in the Tarot, the card representing an image o f change is a crumbling tower struck by lightning. What makes change so difficult for us is that in order for the new to c o m e , the old must decay, crumble or die, sometimes with violent suddenness. Change, even in its benign manifestations, always carries a c o m p o n e n t o f loss, even when it is change for the better. W e m o v e from the known to the unknown.

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In phases o f change w e stumble about, unable to take our familiar landmarks for granted, lost and alienated. W e marvel that others can make jokes, g o shopping, indulge in trivial conversation, blissfully unaware o f that existential terror that grips us. W e are in a n e w place where w e have never been before; we feel e x p o s e d , raw; painful realities which o u r healthy defences could normally keep at a distance, such as frightening or horrifying news items, n o w seem to c o m e right inside us. W e wait, without h o p e , for w e k n o w not what. Change naturally o c c u r s at predictable points in o u r lives -

birth,

puberty,

adulthood, marriage, childbirth, menopause, retirement, death - and also unpredictably, as in major illnesses or accidents, j o b losses, wars, natural disasters. It is easy to idealize change, but without security o f the k n o w n , we feel lost, disoriented, even if w e are leaving a negative situation; a w o m a n w h o spent years c o p i n g with a feckless, alcoholic, gambler husband w h o burdened her with debts, bailiffs, reclamations and even the loss o f her h o m e , woke up o n e m o r n i n g after her d i v o r c e feeling anxious and thinking to herself, Ί haven't got anything to worry about'. Far from feeling relieved, she was at a loss to k n o w h o w to structure her life in the absence o f crises, and she came into therapy feeling that she was falling apart. H o w e v e r , change can be w e l c o m e d , as when an individual is initiated into a religion or religious c o m m u n i t y , goes to live in another country, or assumes s o m e special role in society. In ancient societies and s o m e present-day o n e s , those events are marked b y rites o f passage. A rite o f passage or initiation c e r e m o n y both formally acknowledges change and transition in the life o f the individual, and often serves as s y m b o l i c enactment o f that process. Characteristically, the person being initiated is isolated from his normal environment o r social g r o u p and undergoes an ordeal which takes h i m into the n o man's land o f chaos and terror where his k n o w n conscious self, or e g o , loses all its familiar supports. T h e experience may b e like, or actively simulate, the individual's o w n death. T h e o l d self having thus ' d i e d ' , a ' n e w ' self can b e reborn and emerge back into the world from which he came with new insights, understandings, and an infantlike freshness and openness to life. Death and rebirth, sacrifice and redemption, descent into the underworld and return, transformed, are recurring themes in myth and religion around the world ( M a h d i , Foster and Little 1987, Perera 1981). Osiris is dismembered and resurrected after Isis devotes herself to gathering u p and piecing together ( ' r e - m e m b e r i n g ' ) his b o d y . Jesus dies o n the cross, descends to the underworld, and o n the third day rises from the dead into everlasting life. D i o n y s u s , the horned child, is torn to shreds and boiled in a cauldron b y the Titans but c o m e s to life again after being reconstituted b y his grandmother Rhea. Psychotherapy may constitute a containing ritual for change, and a high proportion o f clients c o m e into therapy at this point, b e it a natural transition point in their life cycle o r a change suddenly and unforeseeably brought o n b y an external event or crisis; crisis being, according to the Chinese character which represents it, both danger and opportunity. W h a t can help a person to navigate the perilous straits o f transition? T h e first thing is o n e b e y o n d o u r control; that inner security that c o m e s from secure attachment in early life. T h e second is a network o f support and love. T h e third is the sense o f a story w h i c h , h o w e v e r , sad, bad or frightening parts o f it may b e , in s o m e way

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adds up, has meaning, is not, ultimately, 'a tale told by an i d i o t . . . signifying nothing'. T h e first patient I ever assessed for psychotherapy said to m e , Ί don't ever seem to have been able to tell myself the right story about m y life'. Stories make sense o f our lives, bind them coherently together, and part o f the business o f psychotherapy is to help the client to find his or her story, to understand the inner logic that brought them to where they are, and to create the potential to m o v e forward to the next chapter. A t times they may recognize their o w n process o f change in a p o e m , a story, an account o f someone else's journey, and these may serve as a map to help them make sense o f their o w n way. T h e therapist's task is likely to change during the process. A t first it is o n e o f containing and supporting; the client, already overwhelmed b y loss, pain, rage and disorientation is not helped b y explorations o f infant trauma, which can only further raise the stress level. Later o n , as the dust settles and he or she begins to recover some stability, a time will c o m e when it is useful to begin to put the current change in the context o f a whole life-story; to help the client take an observer position and begin to understand what parts o f him or herself had to be sacrificed in order to maintain the status quo, and h o w that locking away o f aspects o f the personality and o f particular feelings may correspond to the losses sustained and sacrifices made in early life in order to find a place in the early environment. T h u s for example, Peter, a 33-year-old mathematician and keen amateur violinist, came into therapy when his wife unexpectedly left him. T h e first task was to help him find ways o f surviving his terrifying loneliness, his feeling that life was n o w meaningless, and to begin, as he put it, to 'plug in' to the world o n his o w n behalf, rather than through her. Later he came to see h o w the early loss o f his father and his mother's ensuing depression and withdrawal had led him to 'unplug' himself and live an encapsulated life with her. T h i s in turn had been re-enacted in his marriage, leading to a kind o f smothering symbiosis that his lively, gregarious wife found intolerable. Interestingly, as he began to find his independence, she was able to c o m e back and build a new kind o f relationship with him, and they subsequently had their first child. A s therapists, we may have to tolerate the pain o f watching disintegration happen; o f simply being alongside our client, waiting for the unknown n e w to emerge. W e may have to hold on to the sense o f meaning for them when everything feels meaningless. W e d o them n o service b y trying to 'put things right', but our patient support is vital. T h i s chapter aims to b e a starting point for thinking about some o f the m o r e predictable changes and transitions o f adult life.

ADOLESCENCE A N D YOUNG

ADULTHOOD

Adolescence is the gateway to adulthood; the time when w e stop being children and b e c o m e , very distinctly, b o y s and girls, y o u n g m e n and w o m e n . B o d y chemistry feels as if it is taking over. F o r most, it is a time o f loss and disorientation as well as, or rather than, excitement. I have not met many w o m e n for w h o m their first period ('the Curse') was cause for celebration. S o m e were unprepared and thought they were suffering

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from a shameful illness; s o m e had rather got the message from their mothers that menstruation was a shameful illness and not to be spoken about; a few simply found it a messy nuisance. T h o s e w h o enjoyed easy camaraderie with the opposite sex found their playmates and siblings n o longer so easy-going around them. F o r b o t h sexes, fear o f being left behind in the race to ' g o with' s o m e o n e , fear o f not having ' d o n e it' when everyone else has, creates pressure to ' p e r f o r m ' often before w e are emotionally or even physically ready. In adolescence our relationship with the opposite-sex parent may b e c o m e c o m p l e x and tricky. I have frequently listened to the story o f the girl whose father had always adored her and then suddenly, unaccountably seemed to ' g o o f f her when she was twelve or thirteen. Daughters are certainly not ready to contemplate the possibility that their father is finding it difficult to manage his o w n sexual response to his increasingly attractive daughter, and awkwardly handles the situation either b y backing o f f and seeming to ignore her, or b y acting the authoritarian bully, forbidding her to have boyfriends, wear lipstick and short skirts, or stay out late partying with her friends. Sons, o n the other hand, m o r e often feel they are betraying their mothers by b e c o m i n g independent and forming sexual relationships, especially if the parental marriage is in difficulties. A n extreme case was a b o y w h o had slept in his mother's bed until his teens, w h o felt that the only way to leave h o m e was to 'catapult' himself out into the w o r l d , which then seemed, for years to c o m e , a dangerous, frightening and mystifying place. T h e b o y w h o obscurely feels that he has w o n the battle with his father to b e ' n u m b e r o n e ' with his mother is left burdened with guilt and over-responsibility, and may carry a lifelong fear o f being 'possessed' b y w o m e n , which is likely to stand in the way o f his making c o m m i t t e d and fulfilling adult relationships. B o b Dylan is the voice o f such y o u n g m e n when he writes that having given her his heart she n o w wants his soul, and makes it clear later in the song that this is the reason he is 'travelling o n ' ( ' D o n ' t T h i n k T w i c e It's Alright', B o b D y l a n , Writings and Drawings). H o w e v e r , travelling o n will b e difficult if alienation from father causes the world o f m e n to be a frightening place. Clients o f all ages may enter therapy to make the transition from adolescence to adulthood w h i c h has never been satisfactorily c o m p l e t e d . T h e y may have remained tied to a parent, or stuck in a rebellious m o d e which leaves them ineffectually fighting what they see as authority, without finding an authentic sense o f authority within themselves. I f they are in the process o f separating from a parent or parent substitute, it may b e important for them to enact the rebellion that never happened - to b e c o m e passionately engaged in whatever for them represents protest - music, alternative lifestyles, dress, sexual experimentation, ethical o r political causes - as a way o f expressing their uniqueness, their differentiation from the family o f origin. T h e therapist, like the parent, will need to support the emerging e g o while holding firm the boundaries w h i c h are likely to be pushed against in terms o f missed sessions, lateness, failure to pay. Jonathan was a y o u n g professional man w h o had crossed the globe to get away from an invasive and controlling mother. H o w e v e r , in spite o f the geographical distance between them, he still found himself acting like a rebellious adolescent - not opening letters or answering p h o n e calls, not paying bills, getting into debt, getting drunk and

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turning up late for work the next day. In therapy these patterns were also enacted, and the therapist cast in the role o f controlling parent. In spite o f her attempts to hold firm the boundaries, little seemed to b e achieved, and Jonathan failed to turn up for his last session or pay the bill for it. H o w e v e r , unexpectedly, two years later the therapist received a cheque for the missed session and a letter thanking her, and saying that he had n o w understood what was going o n , and was settling his debts and sorting out the backlog o f chaos in his life. T h e therapist realized that it had been essential for him to d o this in his o w n way and his o w n time, and not as yet another act o f compliance with a resented 'parent', as part o f the process o f connecting with an authentic (rather than adaptive) sense o f self.

T h e Hero's Journey T h e journey o f the twenties is the hero's journey, and its essence is that we are, for the first time, on our o w n , forging our o w n path, making our o w n mistakes, following our o w n direction. (Joseph Campbell (1972) has charted this journey well). T h i s is an important journey for both sexes; we are emerging from a time when the majority o f y o u n g w o m e n saw their objective as getting married to a man and then accompanying him on his journey. Like many w o m e n o f m y generation, I did this, and like many, later had to find a way to d o the necessary journeying on m y o w n . T h e hero's journey is often perilous - we struggle in a highly competitive employment market, w e run the gauntlet o f exploitative employers and landlords, sexually transmitted diseases, social isolation and plain old loneliness as we g o on our Odyssey. Y e t like Ulysses we must not s u c c u m b to the enchantments o f our inner Circe-mother which would cause us to give u p the quest and settle for a tame pig-like existence in her backyard. Ian G o r d o n - B r o w n used to speak movingly o f the y o u n g adults w h o enter a world that offers few opportunities for the heroic quest - the y o u n g w h o g r o w u p , for instance, in areas o f high unemployment, w h o see their parents in the dole queue and are lucky if they can have any other vision o f their o w n future. H o w can we d e v e l o p our o w n muscle if there is no arena in which to try our strength? Perhaps rising crime figures represent o n e o f the answers. F o r y o u n g w o m e n , early pregnancy may seem to be another, yet both often land the y o u n g person in deeper entrapment.

T h e Puer and Puella O n the other hand, there is the ' y o u n g ' man or woman ( o f u p to at least 40) w h o gets caught at the transition to adulthood because the options o f adult life seem stiflingly unattractive and deeply frightening. C . G . Jung called them the 'puer' or 'puella' ( v o n Franz 1970, Hillman 1979, Schierse-Leonard 1983), the eternal b o y or girl w h o lives in a fantasy-land o f eternal youth, permanent in-loveness, intense and special. T h e y have the capacity to soar, Icarus-like, on the wings o f their fantasy and creativity, and they fear above all the clipping o f these wings by the demands o f everyday life, leaving them c o n d e m n e d to a life o f soulless drudgery. Stereotypically, their vision o f 'adult' life usually includes a mortgage and a family saloon, financed b y a mind-numbingly boring j o b (often like the one their father did). T r a p p e d in 'rebel' m o d e , they are frustrated b y

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their i m p o t e n c e and relative poverty, but c o n t e m p t u o u s o f the 'ordinary' life which lesser mortals (as they see it) are d o o m e d to. Often they seek out a partner to d o their 'ordinary' living for them - the social w o r k e r / t e a c h e r / n u r s e

w h o brings h o m e the

bacon while they p r o l o n g their adolescence indefinitely - like the long-suffering social worker wife o f an artist w h o , at the birth o f their first child, 'went his way in the name o f art'. A s these eternal youths g r o w older life b e c o m e s less and less fulfilling, and they may drift into therapy, rather expecting the therapist to play parental adult to their eternal child. T h e same-sex parent will often have been despised and devalued, and the challenge o f therapy is to help them find their o w n creative way o f entering the adult world without abandoning the sense o f what is important to them, to begin to distinguish between Ordinary g o o d - e n o u g h ' and ' m e d i o c r e ' , which have previously been confused in their minds. T h e therapeutic alliance is often strongly challenged when they suffer the necessary disappointment o f discovering that their therapist, rather than enabling them to fly for ever, as they had h o p e d , is there to help them to forge a realistic connection with the world and relationships. A t this point they will probably attempt to butterfly-flit to the next alluring flower, and the therapist will need to feed this observation back to them if they are not to perpetuate a lifetime o f briefly exciting but ultimately unfulfilling evasions. Adrian, a fashion designer, came into therapy in his late thirties because he found himself unable to make a c o m m i t m e n t to his girlfriend o f many years. H e attributed this to the fact that, although the relationship was emotionally, sexually and intellectually satisfying, she was not the skinny, glamorous woman he had always expected to have o n his arm in a w o r l d where looks are everything. A s he explored, he met his o w n reluctance to face physical ageing as he approached 40 - his thinning hair, his need for glasses, the lines his face was beginning to acquire. His therapist too came under fire perhaps she wasn't skilled e n o u g h / h a d the wrong approach. Perhaps, he felt, s o m e other kind o f therapy w o u l d fix the situation. Additionally, work abroad made him absent himself frequently, so that therapy mirrored the relationship with his girlfriend in its tenuousness. Sadly, despite confrontation, he finally left in the h o p e o f finding a therapist w h o w o u l d s o m e h o w , magically, relieve him o f the pain o f giving up his dream o f eternal youth. H o w e v e r , the Puer/Puella archetype is not always experienced pathologically. T o the emerging adult, fresh to the world, it enables the excitement o f discovery and a vision o f life's possibilities. T h i s is an energy that is not afraid to g o out and try things and through this exploration we c o m e to k n o w w h o we are to be. O n l y when it is identified with for t o o long and begins to obscure the equally necessary qualities o f c o m m i t m e n t , perseverance and completing, the arena o f the senex, does it b e c o m e a p r o b l e m . O u r work as therapists is to recognize this when it happens and help the client stand firmly o n the earth but not at the cost o f their creativity and inspiration.

ADULTHOOD O u r e g o identity is not, and cannot b e , separate from the cultural and political context into which we are b o r n . Society provides the words in which we describe ourselves; our

130 VALERIE COUMONT GRAUBART choice is what sentences we make with them. After centuries o f being warriors, foragers, ploughers o f furrows, builders o f homes, providers and protectors, in relation to w h o m w o m e n were secondary beings, at best pampered and protected, at worst trapped and abused, men are facing a transitional time where some old roles are n o longer appropriate or desirable, and new ones have yet to emerge (Bly 1991). Redundancy and unemployment strike devastating blows to men w h o see their identity in terms o f earning power and the ability to provide. Physical challenge, and the experiences that traditionally 'made a man o f y o u ' are largely absent unless deliberately sought

out,

for

example

in

risk-taking

sports.

No

longer

experiencing

the

comradeship-in-adversity o f war and danger, men are looking for ways o f bonding, being close, for which the office, factory or p u b are not enough. As with all change, something has to fall apart before something new can emerge, and that something is male identity. A s with all change, the experience is a difficult and uncomfortable o n e . A s a male client, faced with early retirement after half a lifetime in the armed forces said: T f I d o n ' t g o in to work in m y uniform, I ' m not sure if I'll k n o w w h o I am'. T h e last hundred years have seen huge changes in woman's place in society; unlike our great-grandmothers, we have the vote, control over our capacity to reproduce and to earn, sometimes, five- or six-figure incomes. H o w e v e r , corresponding changes in the inner landscape will take longer, and the core w o u n d o f having learned to view and evaluate ourselves through men's eyes remains at the heart o f many w o m e n ' s experience, and the pain and anger it engenders needs to b e acknowledged b y therapists working with w o m e n seeking a sense o f themselves in their o w n right. Since the 1960s post-Jungian writers and feminist therapists ( W o o d m a n 1 9 8 0 , 1 9 8 2 , 1 9 8 5 , 1 9 9 0 , Perera 1981, Singer 1977) have begun to open up psychological theory from w o m e n ' s perspective. H o w e v e r , I think it is still true, even today, that in general w o m e n dis-identify with power. I f we spend a few minutes thinking about 'powerful w o m e n ' what images c o m e up? Is it the ruthless high-flyer, all padded shoulders and nail-hard determination? A generous and kindly professional woman, thinking after years o f exhausting public service, o f carving herself a modest niche in the private sector, dreamt o f herself with the face o f Imelda M a r c o s . Had she confused the outer symbols o f p o w e r , having ' p o w e r over\ which so often prevails in the political and financial arena, with the potency o f authenticity, and an unwavering connection with her truth? Confronted with the misuse o f power we find ourselves faced with three unsatisfactory options - to make a bid for our share o f ' p o w e r over', to experience ourselves as impotent victims, or to rebel against overwhelming o d d s . Alternatively, the work o f therapy may b e a reconnection with authenticity, and then a search for ways o f potentially bringing our truth into operation in the world in which we live. In this way w e may b e c o m e effective agents o f change, the yeast in the social dough. Nadine, a successful accountant, often spoke in her therapy sessions about the masculine ethos o f the financial world and her o w n difficulty in staking a claim for feelings when she was with her colleagues. A n emotionally deprived c h i l d h o o d , in which she had learnt to be self-sufficient, made her skilled at concealing her o w n feelings, but she was b e c o m i n g aware o f the cost. It was not, however, until a male colleague, whose sensitivity had marginalized him, committed suicide, that she realized

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the importance o f her female perspective in humanizing the organization she worked in, and began to speak u p for it, thus starting to redress the balance in her environment and in herself. Susan o n the other hand had, at 33, spent most o f her adult life in the service o f men w h o exploited her. T o l d that, as a girl, there was n o point in pursuing her education, she took a factory j o b at fifteen, married, had two children, divorced her selfish and unfaithful husband and, when I met her, was o n the brink o f marrying Ricky, another charming but irresponsible man. T h e p o o r urban environment she lived in offered little to a single m o t h e r - o f - t w o ; she was lonely and her self-esteem was at zero. A therapy that helped her to understand present events in the context o f her life history led her to the insight that the relationship she needed to build was with her self. She declined R i c k y ' s offer o f marriage, and when I last heard o f her, she had c o m p l e t e d her Α-levels and was embarking on a degree course. Jungian analysts have d o n e m u c h to reclaim the variety o f manifestations o f the feminine, which include the M o t h e r , both as creator, bearer, nurturer, container, and as spider-mother, devourer, smotherer, possessor; the L o v e r , both as inspirer and as femme fatale, the Virgin, whose virginity is not physiological but spiritual, the singlem i n d e d follower o f her o w n inner voice; the A m a z o n , the warrior woman with a cause; the Priestess-Healer, mediating and making sense o f others' experience, and the W i s e O l d W o m a n , the C r o n e gathering in her lifetime's inner and outer experience for herself and those w h o c o m e after her. T h e r e is t o o little space to explore them here, but they are a rich resource for w o m e n trying to make sense o f their o w n journey and find their o w n m y t h ( W h i t m o n t 1983, W o l g e r and W o l g e r 1987). F o r m e the most satisfactory image for female experience is that o f the w e b . Its strands link m e to friends, family, colleagues, fellow travellers, chance meetings - but the w e b o f the Feminine is a wider one, a connectedness to the whole o f life. W h i l e the Masculine, bearing the sword o f reason, analyses, dissects, illuminates and conquers, the F e m i n i n e joins and connects. In the one-sided Masculine development o f the W e s t , where the ancient male/female deities, Shiva and Shakti, Isis and Osiris, have been superseded b y patriarchal father-gods, connection has been sadly lost by the c o n q u e r ing hero w h o subjugates M o t h e r Earth to his will, forgetting that what he is destroying is his o w n g r o u n d , and that he has n o other. R e c o n n e c t i o n , and the resurgence o f the Feminine may be humankind's o n e chance o f a future. Finding Partners and Maintaining Relationships T h e search for a partner will probably p r e o c c u p y us somewhere between adolescence and m i d d l e age, and for many the threshold to c o m m i t m e n t and having children is the next o n e to b e crossed. T h e longing for the other is beautifully described in Plato's Symposium, in the myth o f the creation o f spherical beings split in two at birth, w h o spend their lives searching for their other halves. Linda Schierse-Leonard has written o n this theme in On the Way to the Wedding. W h a t are we are looking for in a partner, and what is it that draws us to o n e rather than another? In the course o f growing u p , it is likely that s o m e facets o f ourselves will have been better received and nurtured b y our family and education than others. A n

132 VALERIE COUMONT GRAUBART academic environment or family may nurture the capacity to think rather than feel; a practical one may value c o m m o n sense, physical strength and the ability to make m o n e y m o r e than the ability to write poetry; an artistic o n e may p r o m o t e creativity and sensitivity but leave its children with little idea o f h o w to handle the material world. S o m e personal qualities will be rewarded, others may b e strictly o f f limits. W e tend therefore to grow u p rather out o f balance, and what we often look for in a partner is what is least developed in ourselves. I f we think for a few moments about what attracts us to a potential partner, and then reflect o n what part these qualities play in our life, and the life o f our parental family, we may find surprising connections. A y o u n g man from a rather cold intellectual family went away to study in Spain, and immediately fell in love with the warmth and emotionality o f the people there. Later he met and quickly married a Costa Rican wife, but within a short time the marriage was in trouble, there was a breakdown o f sexual and emotional intimacy, and he found himself spending m o r e and m o r e time at the office, until her threat to leave him brought him into therapy. H e both longed for and could not handle what she brought into his life. T h e business o f therapy was to reacquaint him with the lost part o f himself which had been projected onto her, so that he could b e m o r e comfortable with that in her. Sometimes we meet someone and feel as if w e ' v e known them all our lives. M o r e likely than not we have, because they dance exactly the same dance with us as our mother/father/sister/brother

did. W e know the reciprocating dance-steps perfectly -

w e ' v e been dancing this dance since infancy. If the dance is a healthy, happy o n e , all well and g o o d , but if it is a damaging and constricting o n e , we embark o n c e again o n the same old struggle from which we thought w e had escaped. A t worst the dance may involve abuse o r violence, contempt, lying o r possessiveness. T h e therapist's task is to help the client recognize his or her limited repertoire o f patterns o f relating, to challenge them in everyday life, and, where necessary, to learn s o m e new, m o r e helpful ones. O n c e w e have passed the h o n e y m o o n stage o f falling in love, we are confronted with the tricky phase o f recognizing w h o our partner really is when divested o f our rosecoloured projections; in other words, w e begin to meet them as separate from and other than ourselves. A woman w h o found herself chronically angry with her husband replied, very honestly, when I asked her what irritated her, 'Anything that reminds m e he's different from m e ' . Otherness both attracts us and drives us mad; the sociable wife w h o first seemed to save her solitary husband from his emptiness b y drawing him into her busy social circle may later be experienced as invasively robbing him o f his privacy; the intellectual husband w h o at first seems stimulating and exciting may later b e experienced as c o l d , detached and lecturing, not to mention the fact that he never takes out the rubbish or does the dishes. If we can begin to reclaim the aspects o f ourselves that have previously been projected o n t o our partners, and to live out the roundedness o f our whole selves, we stand a chance o f making an enduring adult-to-adult relationship, and not one that constricts and limits both our self and our partner. O n e o f the key struggles between couples is often about w h o is going to b e 'parent'. Anger and resentment will grow if o n e m e m b e r o f a c o u p l e is always called u p o n to b e

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'parent' to the other; the sexual relationship is likely to suffer, and the birth o f a real child will challenge the dependent partner to embrace parenthood or m o v e o n . A n o t h e r key area o f negotiation between couples is that o f distance and closeness. I have D r A n t h o n y R y l e to thank for the poignant image o f the t w o h e d g e h o g s o n the freezing mountainside w h o huddle together for warmth, only to scurry apart when they get hurt b y each other's prickles. W h e n w e are t o o close for t o o long we feel trapped, smothered, restricted and at worst begin to lose a sense o f our individual identity. W h e n w e are t o o far apart w e fear to die o f cold and loneliness. Often we are unaware o f what w e crave, whether it is space or contact, and are in danger o f c o n c l u d i n g that our relationship is over. T h e issue o f space may b e graphically enacted in terms o f our h o m e ; a w o m a n w h o remarried late in life d e v e l o p e d insomnia when she m o v e d from a w h o l e house o f her o w n to a shared house with her husband where not a single r o o m was hers alone. She had never dreamt that she w o u l d resent sharing her space with this kind affectionate man, nor he that she, single for so long, might experience relentless closeness as oppressive. W h e n a client brings relationship issues to therapy, the therapeutic exploration needs to clarify what, in the story, has to d o with objective reality, and what has to d o with the client's internal learned patterns o f behaviour and the way in which these are reciprocated b y their partner, with an understanding o f h o w the patterns were learnt in the client's family o f origin. I f the objective reality is o n e o f current abuse, the therapist's recognizing and naming it may b e vital in allowing the client to step back and appraise the situation realistically, perhaps for the first time.

H o m o s e x u a l Identity A s a heterosexual therapist, I write with diffidence about the homosexual experience. P s y c h o l o g y is in flux over the debate about whether homosexuality is a matter o f nature, nurture or c h o i c e , an aspect o f our 'seed' self, o f w h o w e are at birth, or a later adaptation to experience. I prefer a wider acceptance o f the individual ' w a y ' and story. I have worked with gay m e n and w o m e n w h o were perfectly comfortable with their sexuality (though not with society's attitude to it), gay m e n and w o m e n w h o were agonized b y it and keenly felt the loss o f a conventional family life and children, and m e n and w o m e n w h o were unsure, perhaps bisexual and w h o felt they had a c h o i c e to make. M o s t o f us will have had the experience, during our school years, o f that intense first love (for it often is just that) for an older pupil or teacher o f the same sex, which is dismissed b y anxious adults, and later b y ourselves, as a 'crush'. A n d r o g y n y makes our society uncomfortable, and in the anxious rush to b e identified with o n e sex or the other, w e may lose precious contrasexual aspects (i.e. aspects normally attributed to the opposite sex) o f ourselves. T h u s b o y s quickly learn that sensitivity and sometimes even creativity are 'sissy' while girls can feel it is 'unfeminine' to b e incisive, intelligent and dynamic; to b e capable home-makers but not car mechanics. F o r s o m e b o y s and girls the homosexual orientation remains, and I feel that adolescence is for them especially agonizing, particularly if they g r o w u p in a h o m o p h o b i c environment. I have met y o u n g homosexuals w h o believed that they could never b e accepted in the conservative environment they were b o r n into, and therefore felt c o m p e l l e d to make a n e w life

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elsewhere, where a greater breadth o f experience was accepted. I have met b o y s whose experience o f others' homosexual acting-out at boarding school, often abusive, has left them confused about their sexuality. A b o y with a strong feminine side does not necessarily grow into a homosexual man, but being labelled ' p o o f at school because y o u play the piano and d o n ' t like sports can leave y o u confused, anxious and marginalized as y o u enter adolescence. Conversely, the experience o f trying to be 'normal', dating the opposite sex while feeling n o sexual attraction, or even some repulsion, is equally painful, but the relief o f meeting the same sex partner carries agonizing choices about whether to ' c o m e o u t ' to friends and family, and h o w that will be received. N o gay man or woman has ever told m e that homosexuality was an easy option, though s o m e have spoken o f the relief o f finally feeling able to be themselves. T h e A I D S epidemic has further complicated and stigmatized male homosexuality; at the same time it has enabled gays to discover depths o f loyalty, care and compassion in their c o m m u n i t y which may be the envy o f those outside it. A s a heterosexual

psychotherapist

sometimes working with gay clients, I feel m y position must be o n e o f listening, holding the balance o f their experience and doing m y best to support their transition to being fully w h o they are, sexually and socially. W e need to understand that while living our truth in a society which is often hostile to it can b e difficult and painful, o w n i n g and enjoying a love denied or hidden for years and even decades can be the most fulfilling experience o f a lifetime. Perhaps rather than puzzling over the aetiology o f h o m o s e x u ality we would d o better to begin to understand the meaning o f h o m o p h o b i a , to put it in its place beside racism, and to heal the w o u n d in ourselves and our society from which it emanates. Heterosexual therapists working with gay clients should beware their o w n u n c o n scious h o m o p h o b i a , which may destroy empathy and lead to a subtly critical or attacking stance. Supervision is the space in which they can safely explore this, and an honest look at hostile counter-transference is worth a thousand liberal blandishments. A difference o f sexual orientation also means that the therapist can take nothing for granted, must allow the client to invite them into their world and must never lose sight o f the marginalization which is a part o f their client's everyday experience.

M A T U R I T Y A N D M I D LIFE Jung said that nothing prepares us for the second half o f life. S o m e w h e r e between our mid-thirties and our mid-forties we cease to perceive ourselves as ' y o u n g ' and take stock o f where we are and where we had expected to be. A man entering this phase wrote a p o e m about lingering at a lakeside, always imagining he would m o v e o n , and at last realizing he had put d o w n roots there. Sometimes we wonder h o w we got here, with a feeling o f surprised pleasure or o f dismay - h o w we came to be living in the city, or married to someone we thought we were having a casual relationship with, or a parent when we expected to b e c o m e an opera singer. Sometimes we are dimly aware that we have arrived where we are via the faulty patterns o f relating and the coping strategies we learnt in early life, which served us well then, but seem to trap us n o w . T h e caring professional may be there not out o f a

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passion for the work, but because o f his or her early 'training' to be a carer for an inadequate parent. T h e performer w h o pushes himself o n in spite o f vomiting with stage fright before every performance may only have w o n attention through p e r f o r m ance as a child. T h e bright truant w h o never passed any exams, or the person w h o left school early to help support the family, or simply because the horizons were narrow, may find herself in a mechanical, dead-end j o b , or n o j o b at all. T h e used and abused partner may have stayed in that deadly relationship, like the heroine o f R o d d y D o y l e ' s The Woman Who Walked Into Doors, because they never knew anything else, and so hardly notice h o w bad it is. T h e man or w o m a n w h o prematurely opted for a safe but unsatisfying relationship out o f feelings o f neediness, inadequacy and d e p e n d e n c y may feel stifled b y symbiosis, while the D o n Juan may b e tiring o f the unending quest for permanent in-love-ness, or at least the excitement o f the next 'perfect' sexual experience. S o m e t i m e s life has been satisfying, but one-sided; o n e or t w o aspects o f our self have b e c o m e highly d e v e l o p e d while others remain dormant, u n d e v e l o p e d , unconscious; w e are like a plant that gets the sunlight from only o n e side, p r o d u c i n g abundant foliage and b l o o m s there, but with a dusty, stunted other side in the semi-darkness. A r o u n d the m i d d l e o f our life, the seed self starts to stir, to grumble, to crack through the persona w e have constructed to deal with the world w e found ourselves in at birth, the world we have adapted to and c o p e d with over half a lifetime. W e feel vaguely dissatisfied, even though our circumstances appear satisfactory, even enviable. W e may blame external circumstances - if only we could change our j o b , our partner, our h o m e , our country - and sometimes these d o indeed need to change, but often external changes will not b e enough if n o internal change takes place. M a t t h e w , a high-flying businessman with t w o y o u n g children w h o m he rarely saw, sat in m y consulting r o o m crying about the fact that they hardly recognized h i m any m o r e . His wife had a similarly demanding career. H e changed jobs in order to b e at h o m e m o r e , but the old pattern o f being valuable only through achievement got the better o f h i m , and within weeks he was back in the old routine. His feeling self had so long been invalidated that he could not listen to its voice, though it was breaking his heart not to. S o m e t i m e s it takes a huge jolt from life before w e can start heeding that in us which longs to b e given a life but has never been allowed o n e . W e use words like 'breakdown' and 'mid-life crisis' to describe such experiences. W e can see this, in terms o f Edinger's map o f the e g o and the Self, as the point at which ego-control weakens as the pull o f the Self is felt, at first unconsciously (Edinger 1972). O u r b o d y may suffer under the strain in the form o f a heart attack or a life-threatening illness. O u r relationship may break u p . W e may lose our j o b , have an accident, or simply find ourselves walking around in tears for n o apparent reason, w o n d e r i n g what o n earth is going o n . S u c h a crisis may bring us to see a therapist. W e may speak o f 'stress', 'menopausal depression'; w e may w o n d e r if w e are going mad or whether something is organically wrong. W e may feel alienated, disengaged from what we previously pursued with enthusiasm. W e may be disturbed b y our dreams which we will probably describe as nightmares. T h e death o f a parent or s o m e o n e close to us may remind us that our o w n life is time-limited. W e feel lost, disorientated, like s o m e o n e w h o has stopped pedalling

136 VALERIE COUMONT GRAUBART and feels himself wobbling, about to fall off his bicycle. In order to c o m e to a new place, we are forced to lose the certainties o f the old o n e , and we feel exposed, skinless, and terrified. Such a death is the prerequisite o f rebirth, a new beginning. T h i s had happened to Ray, an army officer in his late forties, with a distinguished career in the Forces. His mother had died, there had been some professional setbacks, and Ray, w h o had spent his life soldiering o n , c o u l d g o n o further. Having at an early age had to cut o f f from his grief at the loss o f his father in order to help his w i d o w e d mother support the younger children, he had left school early and gone into the army. N o w he was overwhelmed and terrified o f what was happening, o f the loosening o f the iron control he had always exerted over his unruly emotions, as over his unruly men. H e dreamt o f a faceless stalker trying to break into a house whose doors and w i n d o w s he was endeavouring to bolt. A s soon as he locked one, the bolt shot back o n the previous one. It was the facelessness o f the stalker that so frightened

him -

the

unknownness o f what might c o m e in place o f his soldierly self-control. H e found himself exerting obsessional control over the household - making sure everything was correctly put away, yelling at the children if they stacked the saucers in the wrong pile or failed to hang their coats on the pegs - as his control over his inner world weakened. H e believed he wanted nothing more than to b e back in uniform, back on the j o b . But as the weeks in therapy passed, and the long-held-in feelings began to surface and be valued without turning him (as he feared) into a monster, going back into the old persona began to lose its appeal. H e started to relax, to enjoy his children, to read, to pick up some o f the threads that were lost when he left school. W h e n I last heard o f him he had retired from the army and was making a modest but happy living from writing and illustrating children's stories. T h e changes we make or undergo in m i d life have a powerful impact o n those around us. M e n say 'She's not the woman I married' as their wives detach themselves from domesticity and g o back to university; w o m e n fear a loss o f manliness when their husbands cease to b e the main breadwinners, as d o their husbands. T h e habitual dance is n o longer danced, and we face the challenge o f either adapting to change, or m o v i n g on. S o m e partnerships break up under the strain, and the fear o f a break-up may cause us to accept an increasingly intolerable status quo, until breakdown forces us to accept that it has b e c o m e insupportable. A t its most frightening, change involves a loss o f ego-identity, a falling apart o f the known self, as if all the jigsaw pieces were shaken up in a bag and we have to wait for the picture to b e reassembled, a total loss o f basic security, a descent into what feels like endless night. A bereaved woman said to m e , Ί k n o w time will heal, but what on earth am I to d o in the meantime?' H o w e v e r , the rebalancing o f mid life is what enables us to m o v e forward in what Jung called the process o f individuation, the b e c o m i n g m o r e fully w h o we are, the flowering o f the seed that continued underground for half our lives and n o w must find expression. Is this perhaps the meaning o f maturing, o f confidence — the feeling that we are w h o we are, take us or leave us? It frees us to offer what we have to the world, feeling neither bashful nor inflated, and to m o v e fully into what we feel to be our place there. In the H i n d u tradition, 50 is the age at which men whose role u p to that point had been to earn a living, provide a h o m e and support a family, may turn away from outer

CHANGES AND TRANSITIONS 137 achievement and g o o n their pilgrimage, the beginning o f a journey inwards, the journey back to the soul, the Self, the oneness o f creation - whatever we want to call it - from w h i c h they came. T h i s may help us to make sense o f the crises o f middle life.

Menopause M e n o p a u s e involves loss, and, c o m i n g as it d o e s at the point when many o f us may be experiencing the death o f o n e or both parents, it reminds us that life is time-limited, that our b o d i e s are not indestructible, and that we need to b e making the most o f what we have. A s I pass through this phase myself, I am aware that being able to hike up mountains o r s w i m in icy water is not something I will indefinitely be able to take for granted. A s Germaine Greer says, it heightens our love o f the world, but it also broadens it; begins, in m y experience, to deepen our connection with the great w e b o f life. F o r s o m e w o m e n w h o have not had children, there is grief o f knowing that they never will. T h i s may release them from the tyranny o f h o p e , and free them to invest their energy elsewhere. I f w e have children, the end o f fertility may well coincide with the end o f mothering, in the sense that they may be grown up and leaving h o m e . T h i s quiet crisis leaves a huge gap - after two decades o f a life focused o n others, many w o m e n experience a collapse o f structure akin to what many people experience at retirement. I feel that a period o f depression is quite normal at this stage, and can be understood as that incubation, that going into the dark, which precedes the 'birth' o f something n e w , the nature o f which is as yet unknown. D u r i n g the menopause our bodies seem to take on a life o f their o w n , unlike anything since pregnancy or, if we are childless, since adolescence. W e wake in the night sweating, get aches and pains in our limbs, sore breasts, feelings o f debility and exhaustion, and m o m e n t s o f extraordinary energy and clarity. Because our bodies seem to b e running riot, we may fear serious illness. W e may feel powerful m o o d swings, intense anger or sadness. It is hard to k n o w what to attribute to h o r m o n e s , and what to the pent-up rage o f a lifetime o f pleasing others, as so many w o m e n have learnt to d o . A n g e r , especially anger in w o m e n , gets a bad press, but when we take hold o f it and use it, it can m o v e mountains. A n g e r can m o v e us to confront social injustice, environmental destruction, nuclear weapons, or just the fact that our local supermarket makes n o provision for the disabled. A n g e r is o n e o f the greatest agents o f change. G e r m a i n e G r e e r (1991) makes the point that the menopause is our opportunity to m o v e from being women to being people. Collectively in the W e s t , w e lack initiation rites and a sense o f c o m m u n i t y for this transition, and indeed the anti-ageing industry, offering us plastic surgery, rejuvenating creams and pills, intensive exercise p r o grammes, encourages us to deny our experience, and to chase the illusion o f eternal youth. W e must look further afield to re-find the images o f the wise old woman (vestigially h o n o u r e d , perhaps, in the role o f the agony aunt), the crone, the soothsayer, the healer, the midwife, the layer-out o f corpses whose experience is valued, and sometimes feared (the witch), in the c o m m u n i t y .

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Psychotherapy, particularly if the therapist herself has passed through this transition, can both contain the grief o f loss, the letting g o o f hopes that will never be fulfilled, and help a menopausal client to value her rich store o f experience, her mature insight, and in many cases the completion o f her child-raising years which sets her free to engage with the wider world in a quite different way.

L o s s and Bereavement T h e age at which we encounter loss or bereavement for the first time is unpredictable - for the abandoned baby or the orphan it may b e the earliest experience. W e may first meet it in the form o f loss o f health, loss o f a l i m b , loss o f a partner, loss o f grandparents or even, and perhaps most terribly, loss o f a child, but b y the time we reach m i d life w e are unlikely not to have been brushed b y the wing o f the angel o f death. L o s s is an experience like n o other - it is almost impossible to describe and, perhaps fortunately, w e cannot imagine it before we have experienced it. T h i s means that those w h o have early bereavements, and particularly bereaved children, feel so terribly isolated - often there is literally n o - o n e to talk to, n o - o n e w h o knows h o w they feel. Unsure h o w to address their unfathomable experience or their grief, others tend to fight shy o f the bereaved - a teacher, w i d o w e d in her early forties, told m e h o w , when she returned to school, she would notice colleagues crossing the playground in order not to b u m p into her - it wasn't that they didn't care; they just didn't k n o w what to say. Often all w e can honestly say is that we feel inadequate to say anything, but it is our presence that counts, the food we c o o k , the cups o f tea w e make, the opportunity just to sit in our h o m e which feels warm and full o f life when their o w n is so unbearably empty and cold. C . S. L e w i s (1961) in A Grief Observed, written after the death o f his wife, recalled h o w he wanted people around him but was totally uninterested in anything they had to say. ' I f o n l y ' , he lamented, 'they would talk to each other, and not to me'. Colin Murray Parkes in his essential volume Bereavement (1972) makes the point that it is not only the dead person w h o is lost, but oneself: the self whose world was in part constellated b y the dead other. It is as i f they were a weight-bearing wall without which the whole edifice collapses. Meaning and basic safety disappear. L e w i s , a devout Christian, cried out ' W h e r e is G o d ? ' A wise therapist said to m e , 'It is as if y o u have n o skin. Y o u r skin will grow back, but it will take time.' In the meantime, the world feels a totally unsafe place. T h e chill wind o f an empty universe seems to b l o w right through us. A late train when w e are alone on an empty platform, or the s n o w falling outside the w i n d o w fill us with an unspeakable terror, the terror o f annihilation, o f ceasing to be. A w o m a n living alone after a recent and painful divorce recalled: ' T h e mornings were the worst. W h e n I woke up I didn't k n o w if I existed. I had to g o d o w n to the newsagents and b u y a paper - as soon as I had spoken to s o m e o n e , I knew I was still there.' L o s s reconstellates our earlier losses, and if these have happened at a point where the ego was insufficiently formed to deal with them - as for example in the death o f a parent in infancy - the feelings elicited b y a later bereavement may precipitate a stage o f disintegration where we fear that we are 'going mad'. T h e terror is like what W i n n i c o t t

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calls the 'primitive agonies' o f the infant - falling apart, falling forever, being the last person left o n earth, the most fundamental fear that there is no ' m e ' . O u r needs at these times are like those o f a baby t o o - warmth, feeding, containment, the undemanding presence o f another person. T h e wise Jewish c u s t o m o f 'sitting shiva' provides this the bereaved person stays at h o m e and friends and relatives bring food and take care o f material concerns. It is generally agreed that a bereaved person will need at least t w o years to begin to feel anything like 'normal', and o f these, the first six months will b e the most terrible. M u r r a y Parkes names the stages o f bereavement as numbness, anger, pining, depression and letting g o , but makes the important point that grief is a process, not a set o f s y m p t o m s . O n e thing w e can b e sure o f is that, quite literally, w e shall never b e the same again. A s therapists, our task is to sit in the darkness with our client, for as long as they need us there, to allow them to rehearse over and over again the harrowing unspeakable details, to hold the tender m e m o r i e s , perhaps with the help o f photographs or treasured objects, to rage at injustice and abandonment, as they gradually accept the reality o f loss, withdraw the energy invested in the lost person, and finally b e c o m e ready to invest it in a n e w situation.

RETIREMENT AND AGEING Retirement and ageing can n o longer be spoken o f in the same breath. High-flyers in the City plan to make their first million and retire b y their mid-forties; 'voluntary r e d u n d a n c y ' and 'early retirement' mean many o f us will stop work in our fifties - for s o m e p e o p l e , with increasing expectations o f longevity, this may mean they retire when they are not m u c h m o r e than half way through their lives. W h i l e , classically, retirement was a drawing back from the world into a m o r e inward-looking life, today it may be seen either as a devastating b l o w to personal identity, if we have derived this principally from work, or a g o d - g i v e n opportunity to live out the parts o f ourselves that had to b e put o n h o l d in order to d o a demanding j o b or raise a family. I f w e are psychologically and materially fortunate w e shall b e able, in our fifties, to start getting out o f the fast lane. W e may be in a position to reach and nurture the talents o f those w h o are c o m i n g u p the ladder after us, rather than feeling them as a threat, just as in the family a mother graciously steps out o f the limelight to allow her g r o w n - u p daughters to take centre stage, rather than jealously c o m p e t i n g with their liveliness and beauty. It goes without saying that both are easier to d o from a place o f security and satisfaction. I f these are missing, it will b e harder to let g o . Stepping aside allows us to d e v e l o p other parts o f our lives. F o r many o f us, our creativity will find space to surface for the first time. W e will have time to think, to reflect; increasingly p e o p l e are going to university in retirement, s o m e for the first time. If thinking has been our primary occupation, w e may discover another side o f ourselves in c o o k i n g , gardening, sculpting, dancing. I watched with interest and respect as a loved colleague, in her late sixties, took the brave step o f withdrawing from what had been her life's work. T h e beginnings were not easy - living o n her o w n she faced unstructured time and an absence o f demands

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which sometimes left her disoriented and depressed. Little b y little her creativity began to build new structures: she went travelling rather as students d o - for months at a time, o n a low budget, making personal contacts wherever she could in all parts o f the world, trekking in the Himalayas and involving herself in a w o m e n ' s project in Southern Africa. She took up writing, started a reading club and an art therapy g r o u p , involved herself with social and political projects. Ian G o r d o n Brown used to say that as we age we either shut d o w n , getting narrower and narrower, or we broaden out, embracing m o r e and m o r e o f the world; she has d o n e the latter. I feel fortunate to have known people w h o have modelled a rich and generous ageing process: M a r i o n M i l n e r attending Winnicott seminars in her nineties, Jean G i b s o n walking her five dogs at 6 a.m. in her eighties: they are a far cry from the stereotypical 'old lady' o f m y childhood (possibly not very m u c h older than I am n o w ) w h o seemed consigned to a h o m e b o u n d life o f waiting for the all-too-infrequent visits from her faraway children. D o r i s Lessing (1996), writing about falling in love in one's sixties {Love, again) talks movingly about h o w 'old age' is largely an external perception; from inside we d o not feel ' o l d ' - our passions, beliefs, thoughts, feelings are as fierce as ever. W e look in the mirror and are surprised b y wrinkled skin and white hair. A n older woman in therapy, accustomed to painting demure water-colours, drew 'a small grey person with her belly full o f fire'. O n e o f the ugliest features o f Western civilization at the present time is the ghettoization o f those w h o make us feel uncomfortable. Whether they are the p r o foundly physically or mentally disabled, dying or o l d , we tuck them discreetly away where we can't see them. L o o k i n g at old age is painful; we are looking at what will almost certainly be our o w n future, and if we have decided that the old are o f n o interest, to b e consigned to the scrap heap, then our o w n future is bleak. Unlike s o m e less ' d e v e l o p e d ' society, we have lost contact with the archetype o f the elder, the wise old man or woman w h o is a rich resource o f experience for the rest o f the c o m m u n i t y . W h e n such people are there, they may be a lifeline to the young: it is interesting h o w often, in therapy, someone whose childhood seemed devoid o f parental love names a grandparent as the o n e person w h o was able to be unconditionally loving and present, the person w h o will always be recalled with gratitude. Recently, I heard o f a therapist working with old people suffering from Alzheimer's disease. She brought into the residential h o m e objects, clothes, pictures from the period o f their youth. Little b y little, communication began to o p e n up as memories surfaced and they started to reminisce. T h e y had stopped talking because n o - o n e had seemed to be interested; they had b e c o m e objectified, infantalized, condescended to, and so they had learnt to behave like objects. F e w people c o m e into therapy after age 60. I f they d o , they are likely to d o so because o f loss in one form or another: bereavement, illness, retirement, debility, a sense o f mortality, o f time running out. A s (usually) younger therapists, we need to ask ourselves whether we can tolerate this material; we need to be aware o f the pitfalls o f either trying to 'make it better', or being pulled into despair alongside our client. After all, it is our o w n mortality we are looking at, and we will need the containment o f supervision for our o w n terrors about ageing and death. W h i l e I believe it is true that the inner journey has the potential to expand and intensify as the outer o n e contracts,

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nothing c o u l d b e m o r e infuriating than an able-bodied y o u n g therapist shifting the focus to spirituality when the client needs s o m e o n e to hear that his knees have given out and he can n o longer walk. Real losses must b e acknowledged and grieved before an exploration o f the dreams and visions o f the inner life can b e accessed.

DEATH AND DYING T h e p e o p l e w h o have lived the most fully seem to fear death the least ( v o n Franz 1984). A w o m a n in her nineties openly expressed a longing to die, not because she was ill or in despair, but just because she was so deeply tired. I f we are called o n to work with a terminally ill client, we face the challenge both o f recognizing the reality o f our o w n death, and o f being unable to 'save' them, which may be hard to accept. A colleague w h o worked with terminal A I D S patients felt guilty about her o w n health, and ineffectual in the face o f their inexorable disease, until she recognized h o w precious was her steady unflinching c o m m i t m e n t to see them through to the end, to stay with their rage and pain in such a way that sometimes they came to feel that they lived m o r e fully in those last weeks than at any other time in their lives. T h o s e w h o have had near-death experiences or been p r o n o u n c e d clinically dead, but resuscitated, speak o f the experience as o n e o f d e e p acceptance, letting g o into something which, in R a m Dass's words, is 'totally safe'. T h e y often describe passing through a long tunnel with a source o f radiant light at the end o f it, feeling a loving and receiving presence waiting for them there. W h e n in the seventies G r o f and Halifax used L . S . D . to enable terminal cancer patients to g o through a similar experience, almost all were transformed b y it, and lived out their remaining days free from the fear o f death, in an open-hearted and trusting way. N o hospice-worker I have ever met has told m e the work was depressing; on the contrary, the knowledge o f an imminent death often seems to free their patients to be m o r e totally alive, honest and present than ever before, to speak to their loved ones openly, from the heart, because there is n o point in doing anything else. M y grandmother, in her nineties, died after several strokes. She could n o longer speak, sit u p or feed herself. She had b e c o m e like the tiny baby I o n c e was in her arms, and as I nuzzled her and stroked her hair I felt the simplest, most

straightforward

c o m m u n i c a t i o n o f love between us, unhindered b y thoughts or words. W e didn't need to say - we just knew.

REFERENCES T h e writing o f this chapter was informed b y teachers, writers and clients t o o numerous to list. Instead I w o u l d like to name the following whose work has helped frame the thinking behind this chapter: C . G . Jung, Frances W i c k e s , A n n Shearer, A . C . R o b i n Skynner, Ian G o r d o n - B r o w n and Barbara Somers, Elizabeth W i l d e M c C o r m i c k , D r A n t h o n y R y l e , D . W . W i n n i c o t t , R a m Dass. Bly, R. (1991). Iron John. Shaftesbury, Dorset and Rockport, Mass: Element.

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Campbell, J. (1972). The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Princeton: Princeton University Press. De Castellejo, C. (1973). Knowing Woman. New York: Harper & Row. Doyle, R. (1996). The Woman Who Walked into Doors. London: Jonathan Cape. Edinger, E. (1972). Ego and Archtype. New York: Penguin. Greer, G. (1991). The Change. London: Hamish Hamilton. Grof, S. and Halifax, J. (1978). The Human Encounter with Death. London: Souvenir Press. Hillman, J. (1979). 'Senex and Puer'. In C. Giles (ed.) Puer Papers. Dallas Texas: Spring Publications Inc. Lessing, D . (1996). Love, Again. London: Flamingo. Lewis, C. S. (1961). A Grief Observed. London: Faber & Faber. Mahdi, L., Foster, S. and Little, M . (1987). Betwixt and Between: Patterns of Masculine and Feminine Initiation. La Salle, Illinois: Open Court. Murry-Parkes, C. (1972). Bereavement. London: Tavistock Publications. Perera, S. B. (1972). Descent of the Goddess. Toronto: Inner City Books. Schierse-Leonard, L. (1983). The Wounded Woman. Boston and London: Shambhala. Schierse-Leonard, L. (1986). On the Way to the Wedding. Boston and London: Shambhala. Singer, J. (1977). Androgyny: Towards a New Theory of Sexuality. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. von Franz, M . - L . (1970). Puer Aeternus. Santa Monica, Calif: Sigo Press. von Franz, M . - L . (1984). On Dreams and Death. Boston and London: Shambhala. Whitmont, E. C. (1983). Return of the Goddess. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Wilhelm, R. (1951). / Chmg. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Wolger, R. J. and Wolger, J. B. (1987). Goddess Within. New York: Fawcett Columbine. Woodman, M . (1990). The Ravaged Bridegroom: Masculine in Women. Toronto: Inner City. Woodman, M . (1985). The Pregnant Virgin. Toronto: Inner City. Woodman, M . (1982). Addiction to Perfection. Toronto: Inner City. Woodman, M . (1980). The Owl Was A Baker's Daughter: Obesity, Anorexia Nervosa and the Repressed Feminine. Toronto: Inner City.

CHAPTER 7

Masculinities and Femininities, Women and Men Ann

Shearer

Editor's note: There is no concept, however much it may speak of expansion and otherness, that can not be unconsciously perverted so that it actually functions for the ego as a defensive structure. Now that ideas about the inner man and woman have become common currency within the collective culture, these too may be used in the service of bolstering our identity against uncertainty. In this way, though we may speak of the feminine soul and the masculine spirit as relationships that open to transpersonal experience, by limiting their definition, they may also be used to close down and control the Mercurial nature of the collective unconscious. Here, Ann Shearer, from the perspective of a Classical Jungian Analyst, leads us deeper into the labyrinthine world of gender identity, the archetypes of the anima and animus and their often contradictory imagery. Revisiting Jung she finds that he shared many of the questions that today are endemic. Her suggestion is that we look again at our certainties and question whether the comforting and familiar organization of qualities that we have assigned to women and men, to animus and anima and to the archetypal feminine and masculine are quite as certain as we would wish them to be. N.W.

O

f all the great collective waves o f the past century or so o f Western consciousness, the o n e w h i c h has swept over time-honoured understandings o f what it means to

be w o m a n or man, masculine o r feminine, is surely o n e o f the most powerful. T h e intensity o f rage and bewilderment, battering and bruising a m o n g and between both m e n and w o m e n that has c o m e with it amounts to m o r e than the painful sum o f individual distress. T h e wave has swelled, it seems, from the depth o f the collective u n c o n s c i o u s , and w e have been swept o f f our collective p s y c h i c balance b y the force and speed with w h i c h it has broken in our generation. It has been a long time swelling, as the historians' recent reclaiming o f individual w o m e n ' s voices can tell us. But it is o n l y just over a century, after all, since married w o m e n in Britain were legally permitted to o w n property, since higher education for w o m e n was first institutionalized, or - most amazingly - since it was conclusively demonstrated that the creation o f new human life came from a fusion o f egg and sperm. S o w e have been buffeted at every level o f our o l d understandings about o u r nature and relationships, from the m o s t basically biological and the s o c i o - e c o n o m i c to the life o f m i n d and spirit. A n d b e y o n d those t o o . T h e mythic structure within which we have lived for m o r e or less the past 4000 years, the era o f the sky-gods, can n o longer contain us. W e can draw o n many stories o f h o w that structure was made and its glories as well as its p r o f o u n d p s y c h i c costs in the dishonouring o f ' t h e feminine principle', as A n n e Baring

144 ANN SHEARER and Jules Cashford have so invaluably d o n e in their Myth of the Goddess (1991). But the story o f h o w we are living with the structure's crumbling is only n o w being told through our individual and collective lives. H o w can we be attentive to it? T h e question touches us all, whether we work as butchers or bakers, makers o f candles or cabinets, psychotherapists or those w h o consult them. T h e r e is nothing so privileged about psychological understandings; p s y c h o l o g y ' s approaches to the interplay between the individual and the collective can not but be informed b y the material realities o f the economists, the spiritual ones o f the theologians, by the sociologists, insights into the way we live n o w and the historians' stories o f the way we lived then. M o s t particularly, perhaps, in trying to understand m o r e o f this story between and within contemporary men and w o m e n , psychology can draw o n contemporary efforts to understand the difference between sex - as biologically determined - and gender as culturally and socially constructed (Connell, 1987). But psychology has also its o w n lenses to train o n the age-old wonderings about h o w far are we self-created, h o w far determined ( o f which the gender debates are among today's expressions). F o r m e , the particular value o f Jung's psychology is that in its attention to the logos, the laws, o f psyche, it insists that we attend to both the subtle movements o f the individual soul and the collective in which it is set. In the theory o f archetypes, it gives us the means to d o this. S o we can ask, for instance, what it means that in a century when Western w o m e n have howled a mounting crescendo o f rage at 'the patriarchy', depth psychology from Jung to Klein to Winnicott, B o w l b y and b e y o n d has rested on a myth o f maternal influence far b e y o n d that o f the father. W e can notice, at a time when our human natures seem increasingly to be genetically fixed, that the very notions o f ' m a s c u l i n e ' and 'feminine' are in flux as never before. F o r m e , such questions are far from simply intellectual; they have to d o with the very stuff o f our psychic lives. S o w e could wonder, for instance and in terms o f Jung's psychology, about collective compensations, and ask ourselves h o w the energies are striving to find a parallel balance in the unique lives and relationships o f individuals. In his o w n explorations o f the movements o f masculine and feminine energies within and between w o m e n and men, Jung knew that he was only at the start o f something. ' W e are concerned here', he says in his essay o n ' A n i m a and A n i m u s ' 'with a new questioning, a new - and yet age-old - field o f psychological experience.' A n d he warns against premature certainty about what is going o n . ' W e shall be able to establish relatively valid theories about it only when the corresponding psychological facts are known to a sufficient number o f people. T h e first things to be discovered are always facts, not theories' Qung 1938, para. 340). T h e s e days, we hardly heed his caution: his writings o n the nature o f man and woman, masculine and feminine, have b e c o m e both so m u c h part o f the way w e conceptualize these things and so m u c h debated that we forget, perhaps, just h o w ground-breaking they were in their day. Yet Jung was born into a social and scientific c o m m u n i t y which still took as axiomatic the inferiority o f w o m a n to man, in her physical and intellectual structure as m u c h as her moral one. T h e inherited myths o f the Judeo-Christian tradition and Aristotelian biology had interwoven over hundreds o f years to ensure that this was so. A n d as Hillman (1978) has fascinatingly argued, those mythologies have had a profound effect o n our ' m o d e r n ' depth psychologies as well. T o alert ourselves to this

MASCULINITIES AND FEMININITIES, WOMEN AND MEN 145 essential fact o f our o w n psychological inheritance, w e need only, perhaps, remember F r e u d ' s perception o f the p s y c h o l o g y o f woman: his notion that it is based o n the envy b o r n o f an essential lack is in s o m e sense at least a faithful e c h o o f Galen's teaching, first formulated s o m e 1800 years earlier, that the female genitalia is an imperfect version o f the male. Against this background, Jung's theory o f anima and animus can seem positively startling. After so many centuries o f agreement that what was inferior in man had been r e m o v e d in that first, divine surgical operation in the G a r d e n o f Eden, to leave him forever made o f physically as well as morally superior stuff, here is a proposal that he not o n l y contains a 'feminine' element, but that his very wholeness as a human being d e p e n d s o n his relating to her with the utmost respect! In the wake o f an outbreak o f grave c o n c e r n a m o n g leading European and American physicians that the higher education o f w o m e n w o u l d lead to a breed o f denatured monsters and deterioration o f the race (Showaiter 1987), here is an assertion that not only does ' w o m e n ' s nature' inevitably contain a 'masculine' element but that, again, w e ignore it at our psychic peril! T h e s e days - and that is thanks largely to Jung's explorations - the idea that there is a 'feminine' element in everyman and a 'masculine' o n e in everywoman is hardly psychologically surprising. But what d o w e d o with the perception - and what does it d o with us? T h e questions multiply. W h a t d o w e mean b y 'masculine' and 'feminine'? Can w e define a 'true nature' o f everywoman and everyman to which psyche is leading each individul w o m a n and man? W h a t relationship does the first bear to the second? Again, such questions are not at all simply for intellectual debate. T h e y are brought into countless consulting r o o m s , d o c t o r s ' surgeries and lawyers' offices, from the intimacy o f countless shared b e d r o o m s and the loneliness o f countless single ones, by w o m e n and m e n w h o are angered, hurt and bewildered b y the lack o f clear answers about their o w n identity and that o f the Other. Jung, o f course, had his o w n response to the questions, and m u c h debated it has been in recent years. T h e very fact o f the criticism tells us that consciousness has m o v e d o n ; personal reactions to both the theory and the critics can maybe help individuals situate themselves in the whole vexed business. A b o u t the 'nature o f w o m a n ' , it seems, Jung remained sure. ' N o o n e can get round the fact', he wrote in 1927, 'that b y taking u p a masculine profession, studying and working like a man, w o m a n is d o i n g something not wholly in accord with, if not directly injurious t o , her feminine nature' (Jung 1927, para. 243). A n d ' M a n ' s foremost interest should b e his w o r k ' , he said towards the end o f his long life. 'But a w o m a n man is her work and her business' ( M c G u i r e and Hull 1980, p . 236). T h e s e certainties can not but b e intertwined with Jung's theory o f animus, as I have examined in m o r e detail elsewhere (Shearer 1998). H e confessed himself scared o f it (Jung 1930, p . 4 8 7 ) . A n d it is sure that while L a d y S o u l , for all her dangers, remains bathed for h i m in life-giving numinosity, there seems little positive for him in animus at all. Back in 1922 he was teaching, according to o n e o f his students, that 'a man must take u p a feminine attitude, while a w o m a n must fight her animus, a masculine attitude' ( M c G u i r e and Hull, p . 4 5 ) . I f she can o v e r c o m e the perils o f animus-possession, then it will b e c o m e a 'creative and procreative being'. A n d then? W i l l she find new

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intellectual strength, a purpose in what used to be known as 'the man's world'? N o , for Jung these creative seeds will fertilize the feminine side o f man! (Jung 1938, para. 336). T h e view is time-honoured, as John M i l t o n knew centuries earlier when he was dividing the psychic labour between A d a m and Eve: ' H e for G o d only, she for G o d in h i m ' . G i v e n that Jung was a child o f the European nineteenth century, born into the modest bourgeoisie o f a small, mountain-enclosed nation which has only recently, a generation or so after his death, accorded all its adult w o m e n the right to vote, such views are perhaps not so surprising. But n o w for the Rorschach Test: h o w d o w e react to them? F o r some, and particularly w o m e n , they are a patriarchal howler, enough to discredit Jung's whole discussion. F o r others, and not necessarily men, they are not to be t o o swiftly dismissed, n o w that a generation o f (privileged, middle-class, Western) w o m e n has been able not just to 'take u p ' but often to excel in 'masculine professions', and the popular prints as well as consulting r o o m s are full o f tales o f the personal costs (Singer 1989). F o r yet others, it is still worth working to reconcile Jung's theories with contemporary feminist understandings ( W e h r 1988). T h e distance we have travelled between the first and the second is nowhere m o r e apparent, perhaps, than in Jung's persistent identification o f 'the feminine' with w o m e n and 'the masculine' with men. In his day, I suspect, any other view would have seemed seriously eccentric; in ours, it can seem little short o f abusive. Y e t is there still something to be rescued? Is there still value, for a start, in Jung's formulation o f the great governing principles, masculine and feminine, as L o g o s and Eros? Important, perhaps, to underline his vision o f their essential interrelatedness: 'It is the function o f Eros to unite what L o g o has sundered' (Jung 1927, para. 275). S o L o g o s , the masculine principle o f W o r d and spirit, o f rationality, objectivity, judgement and discrimination, is in constant interplay with Eros 'the greater binder and loosener', the principle o f relatedness. Neither o n e is superior or inferior, each needs the other for its completion in action, separating what has been united, uniting what has been separated, over and over in the great rhythm o f life. T h i s is the action o f psyche itself, imaged in the progressive refinements o f the alchemical work that was so important to Jung as metaphor for psychic process. A s the alchemists knew, the volatile must be fixed and the fixed made volatile, over and over in a continual circulatio. Alchemical transformations are made from the interplay o f energies w e take as masculine and feminine - imaged as Sol and Luna, A p o l l o and Diana, K i n g and Q u e e n - as the alchemist and his 'mystical sister' work and pray among the sealed vessels in their enclosed laboratory ( K l o s s o w de Rola 1973). T h a t the images are often bizarre and frightening, always extraordinary, tells us that this is a story not simply about men and w o m e n dressed up in funny clothes, but rather about our deeper and other selves. It is when Jung brings these psychological energies o f masculine and feminine that he calls L o g o s and Eros out into the world, to identify them with actual men and w o m e n that something seems lost. F r o m the mysterious containment o f the laboratory w e find ourselves in a convolution o f conceptual pathways which lead us to a not unfamiliar place. 'In m e n , Eros, the function o f relationship, is usually less developed than L o g o s . In w o m e n , on the other hand, Eros is an expression o f their true nature [ A h ! ] while

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their L o g o s is often only a regrettable accident' (Jung 1950, para. 29). In simple w o r d s , and stripped o f the qualifications ('usually', Often'), aren't w e back to ' m e n think, w o m e n feel'? But before s o m e o f us throw the b o o k across the r o o m , let us just unhook the m e n from the thinking, the w o m e n from the feeling, and stay with the notion o f t w o great currents, o n e o f which discriminates and separates and o n e o f which associates and brings together. W e c o u l d even call them, for shorthand and knowing that e g o can never d o m o r e than touch the archetypal depths, L o g o s and Eros. W h e t h e r we are w o m a n or man, they flow through us all uniquely, according to our constitution, typology and life experience. A s the feminist writer Marilyn French puts it, in her o w n version o f the same story: ' T h e feminine principle is the pole o f life, the masculine, o f civilisation. A n d life is the highest value for " f e m i n i n e " people, whereas control is the highest value for " m a s c u l i n e " p e o p l e ' (French 1985, p . 9 4 ) . O n c e the notions o f masculine and feminine are released from identification with m e n and w o m e n , w e can let s o m e imaginai air into the age-old debates. T a k e , for instance, the issue w e came in o n : the supposedly superior thinking capacity o f men. Marilyn F r e n c h again: ' " F e m i n i n e " thinking is reflective, associative and circular found in s o m e masculine poets. " M a s c u l i n e " thought is rational, logical, linear' (ibid.) T h i s is not at all far from Jung's characterization o f masculine consciousness as solar and feminine consciousness as lunar - the second not inferior to but simply different from the first. T h e difficulty begins when he identifies the first with man and the second with w o m a n : Personal relations are as a rule more important and interesting to her than objective facts and their interconnections. T h e w i d e fields of commerce, politics, technology and science, the whole realm of the applied masculine m i n d , she relegates to the penumbra of consciousness; while, on the other h a n d , she develops a minute consciousness of personal relationships, the infinite nuances of w h i c h usually escape the m a n entirely. (Jung 1 9 3 8 , para. 3 3 0 ) A n o t h e r Rorschach test? But just to underline the point, it is Jung's equation o f sex and gender - as in his description o f the 'lunatic logic' o f w o m a n which 'can drive the rational [i.e. male] m i n d to the white heat o f frenzy' — which these days can drive female astrophysicists and male psychotherapists to frenzies o f their o w n (Jung 1954, para. 228).

T h e idea that s o m e p e o p l e are m o r e gifted in human relationships and others in

abstract thought is hardly exceptional. T h e s e personal equations have their archetypal resonances, as Jules Cashford, for instance, emphasizes in her o w n critique o f Jung's views, in which she reaches for the essence b e y o n d gender o f the deities themselves. H e r beautiful description o f A p h r o dite, 'the golden o n e ' , 'lover o f laughter', evokes, as does the goddess herself, 'a world o f relationship between all the forms o f creation'. A p h r o d i t e ' s imaging as a w o m a n has nothing to d o with either w o m e n relating better or m e n relating badly, for what she symbolizes is an invitation to 'a celebration o f the beauty o f daily life' which is o p e n to all. ' S h e w o u l d have us entranced with the minute particulars o f lived reality for their own

sake, beautiful in themselves . . . ephemeral even, but nonetheless vital to bind us

to each other and to life.' F o r m e , this A p h r o d i t e images the function or value that Jung

148 ANN SHEARER characterizes as Eros, and Cashford's brilliantly youthful A p o l l o , ' g o d o f the silver b o w , w h o kills from a distance', that o f L o g o s . A n d A p o l l o as 'image o f the still point o f orientation that gives birth to a point o f view . . . the beauty o f distinct form . . . a consciousness that is not implicated in what it sees and k n o w s ' is n o less available to us all than is Aphrodite (Cashford 1998). N o w that the gods are evoked, other images, other altars, present themselves. A p o l l o ' s is the brilliance o f pure thought, unrelated to consequence. But there are other m o d e s o f thinking o n O l y m p u s t o o . Nous kai dianoia, M i n d and T h o u g h t , was o n e o f the later epithets o f Athene. But she is also W o r k w o m a n , Many-Skilled, Mistress o f Crafts; her patronage covers the whole field o f applied technology. She is the o n e w h o understands the essential relationship between m i n d , eye, hand and material to be worked. It is her sophia, an essentially practical w i s d o m , and her understanding o f the fitness o f things, which could yet save our planet from ecological ruin (Shearer 1998). Like A p o l l o ' s , this way o f being in the world is surely o p e n to all, whether w o m e n or men. Isn't consciousness b e y o n d gender? A n d yet, and yet, Athene's consciousness is so very different from that o f A p o l l o . . . I find myself recalling Freud's conviction that w o m e n had little sense o f justice, because o f the huge role that envy inevitably played in their penisless lives. T h i s want o f moral sense, o f the capacity to discriminate right from wrong, he could also have characterized - i f he had spoken the same psychological language as Jung, or even been speaking to Jung at all - as a want o f L o g o s . Y e t what Carol Gilligan found in her important studies o f w o m e n ' s moral decision-making, was that their approach had far less to d o with abstract notions o f 'right' and ' w r o n g ' than with weighing conflicting responsibilities to actual relationships (Gilligan 1982). F o r at least these w o m e n , then, morality is an 'applied' matter rather than a 'pure' concept; they are under Athene's protection rather than A p o l l o ' s . Is this acculturated? Intrinsic to their nature? Can w e begin to discriminate a distinctive 'feminine consciousness'? S o L o g o s works its distinctions for Eros to unite, over and over again. A n d so Eros craves expression in our Western collectivities, as w e b e c o m e m o r e keenly aware o f the limits o f rationality, o f the one-sidedness o f post-Enlightenment thought, o f the alienations o f over-discrimination. Y e t so repressed have its values been, it seems, that many o f our reconnections can c o m e only through its shadow. W e long for a sense o f relatedness to each other and our planet - and w e find it through wars and exploitations. W e seek ' c o m m u n i t y ' - and find its shadow simulacrum through the Internet. W e seek connection to our earth in fantasies o f the ' o n e life' - and w e shop its resources to exhaustion. In the desperation o f our search we mistake sex for eros and sexualize all manner o f encounters - only to fall into the shadow o f relatedness when a gesture o f tenderness, concern or even courtesy from adult to child, man to w o m a n , can appear the prelude not to relationship but to abuse. Y e t the longing remains — and not so long ago, we saw it burst out in the intensity o f reaction to the death o f Diana, Princess o f Wales. T h e distaste and even fear with which the rational mind dismissed the events o f that unique week as 'mass hysteria' is further demonstration o f the alienation o f L o g o s and Eros in our times. F o r whatever else was projected o n t o those slim shoulders, it seems to m e , Eros was part o f it. F o r

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those days at least the image o f Diana carried the yearning for relatedness and its expression, in those tears for the never-known but so vividly-imagined. T h e very .

sentimentality o f those altars o f p o e m s , hearts and flowers attests to our clumsiness in articulating Eros; these days, its language c o m e s from the unconscious. A n d in those repeated images o f the glamorous, privileged and lively Princess literally touching ( n o Royal gloves!) p e o p l e w h o were diseased, or marginalized, or dying, or simply ordinary, w e c o u l d b e touched b y the possibility o f connection a m o n g opposites, o f relatedness in an alienated w o r l d . (Haynes and Shearer 1998 discusses these and many other psychological aspects o f the events.) If c o n s c i o u s reconnection o f L o g o s and Eros is what we collectively long for, therapeutic reflections o f this longing are not far to seek. W e are by n o w well used to hearing that m e n 'should b e ' relating to their feminine/serving their anima, while w o m e n 'should b e ' h o n o u r i n g their masculine/setting their positive animus to work. The

media plays its o w n part in such prescriptions, offering us collective templates

against which to measure our o w n N e w W o m a n , N e w M a n , L a d and Ladette. Yet alchemy's images can remind us that the unions o f insufficiently differentiated masculine and feminine may p r o d u c e hermaphrodites rather than the D i v i n e A n d r o gyne w h o is the goal o f the work. Hermaphroditus himself prayed that his o w n curse o f barrenness w o u l d b e visited o n anyone w h o bathed in the lake where he had been forced into hated symbiosis with the besotted n y m p h Salmacis, and the g o d s granted his prayer. In this great rhythm o f c o m i n g together and separation that is the work o f Eros and L o g o s , w e k n o w that it can b e the very longing for relationship that may bring us to that barren lake, as w e seek to dissolve differences and subsume the Other to ourselves, ourselves to the Other. And

w h o is the Other, w h o ourself? W h e n we urge, for instance, that men 'should

relate to their inner feminine', are w e thinking o f such qualities as frugality, vehem e n c e , hardness, saltiness, dryness? O r such images as fire, lightning, coats o f mail and helmets, lances and weapons? O r such actions as smashing and breaking apart? I suspect not. W h e n w e urge w o m e n to ' h o n o u r the masculine within', are w e relating to such images as pod-bearing plants, water, ditches, defective chariots, the m o o n , doors and openings? Is it keeping still, melancholy, the earache w e have in mind? Again, I w o u l d b e surprised. Y e t these are all images and attributes drawn from commentaries o f the same / Ching as the o n e from which so m u c h o f our contemporary ' k n o w l e d g e ' o f the feminine (earth, receptive) and masculine (heaven, creative) is drawn ( W i l h e l m 1975,

pp. 274-9).

S u c h surprises remind us o f our relationship to the archetypal realm. W e k n o w we cannot c o m p r e h e n d the archetypes as such; our small ego-consciousness cannot encompass the w h o l e p s y c h i c structure within which it is e m b e d d e d . W e also know that we risk madness if w e d o not keep ego's respectful distance from the archetypal energies, just as the ancients knew that if they approached divinities t o o closely they w o u l d b e destroyed. Jung recognizes the frustrations, but he knows the reality t o o . 'The

discriminating intellect' he writes,

naturally keeps on trying to establish (the archetypes') singleness of meaning, and thus misses the essential point: for w h a t w e can above all establish as the one thing consistent with their

150

ANN SHEARER nature is their manifold meaning, their almost limitless wealth of reference, w h i c h makes any unilateral formulation impossible. (Jung 1 9 5 4 , para. 8 0 )

So o n e task o f psychotherapists - those w h o attend, w h o matt upon the soul - is to try to keep o p e n the manifold meaning o f the archetypes, to allow their energies to connect to consciousness in as m u c h amplitude as is ego-possible. S o in our imaging o f the 'feminine', for instance, we may honour the ancient goddesses, remembering that Inanna and Ishtar o f Sumeria, Egyptian Neith, Greek Athene and the Celtic goddesses Morrigan and Brigit were all lovers o f war as m u c h as o f the peaceful arts - a psychologically essential

paradox whose implications I have explored elsewhere

(Shearer 1998). S o in our evocations o f ' t h e masculine', w e may honour D i o n y s u s , that deity o f nature's o w n erotic relatedness to which the antagonism o f L o g o s , as Euripedes so horrifically reminds us, can only bring tragedy (Euripedes 1986). W e can remember Hermes, as close to us in the hurly-burly o f life's market-place as his brother A p o l l o is distant, his ways as devious as A p o l l o ' s arrows are straight. In green and fertile, lush and plashy places, we can remember his children Pan and Priapus (Lopez-Pedraza 1977), and in this little island's fast-disappearing natural crannies we may still catch a glimpse o f our o w n guardian o f vegetation and holy places, the Green M a n . In such amplifications, imaginings and connections, through archetypal images as they appear to us in dream and reverie or the fascination which draws us to a particular place or work o f art, w e can collectively perhaps begin to release both w o m e n and m e n from the old prescriptive equations that tell them what their nature ' o u g h t ' to b e and stop chastising the 'masculine' businesswoman and 'effeminate' man. A n d then, will we have fewer o f the relational disasters which begin something like this? He: (before marriage): 'She is the most womanly w o m a n I can imagine. Most men become more of w h a t they are around her: a phoney becomes more phoney, a confused m a n becomes more confused, a retiring m a n more retiring. She's kind of a lodestone that draws out of the male animal his essential qualities.' She: (commenting on some notes he's written on their honeymoon): 'It was something about how disappointed he was in m e , how he thought I was some kind of angel, but now he guessed he was wrong, that his first wife had let him d o w n , but I had done something worse.' (Stemem 1987). Oh L a d y A n i m a , spinner o f illusion! T h i s time, the couple entangled in her w e b were Arthur Miller and o n e o f the most potent and tragic anima figures o f our century, Marilyn M o n r o e . But their tale o f bitter disillusionment is surely told over and over, as couples o f all sorts and conditions find themselves in the dark when the glow fades o n the projection that has held them. T h e o r y would suggest that if men and w o m e n were m o r e able to explore and relate to their o w n 'feminine' and 'masculine' sides (allowing for the m o m e n t that such exist), the projections o f both w o u l d seem less painfully potent, because containing fewer o f their o w n unlived, yet yearned-for aspects. Can w e imagine a future when that might be true? What w e already know is just h o w hard it is, here and n o w and despite the conceptual puzzlings, to free ourselves from traditional understandings o f gender and

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A n d w e k n o w t o o quite h o w m u c h bitter and violent raging, both individual and

collective, can a c c o m p a n y o u r efforts to get b e y o n d them. W e have historical, s o c i o e c o n o m i c and psychological explanations in plenty. H o w can we work with them now? For

m e , the starting point is still the time-honoured identification o f w o m a n with

nature and so the principle o f life, and man with civilization and so nature's dominance. For

centuries, it was at the root o f the perception o f w o m a n as inferior, in physical

substance as m u c h as intellect and morality; we have seen s o m e o f its echoes already in this chapter. In our o w n times, and in o n e o f those great psychic upheavals that feels like a search for a n e w collective balance, the tables have turned: w o m e n have used the perception against m e n , in the insistence that it is m e n w h o bear responsibility for all that is violent and destructive - from the fighting o f wars and the destructions o f technology to the despoliation o f the planet and the abuse o f individual w o m e n . The

m y t h behind such perceptions, it seems to m e , is that o f 'the matriarchy' - that

G o l d e n A g e benignly ruled b y the Great G o d d e s s w h e n all was harmony in nature and we humans with it. Whatever the historical facts, the psychological force o f the myth can not b e d o u b t e d . It b e c o m e s the m o r e precious, perhaps, when such a dominant account o f our individual beginnings is the very m u c h less peaceful o n e imagined b y Melanie K l e i n . H o w can the myth b e protected against the reality o f our w o r l d ' s violence? W e k n o w the psychological mechanism and we can feel its effects, in the huge collective projection o f aggression o n t o not just 'the masculine' but m e n . M o r e than a century ago those p o l i c e m e n knew what it meant to bear it when the indomitable M a b e l , the M a j o r General's daughter, sent them o f f to fight the Pirates o f Penzance: Go ye heroes, go to glory, Though ye die in c o m b a t gory, Ye shall live in song and story. Go to immortality! Go to death and go to slaughter; Die, and every Cornish daughter W i t h her tears your grave shall water. Go, ye heroes, go and die! And

the p o l i c e m e n can o n l y reply: Though to us it's evident, These attentions are well-meant, Such expressions don't appear, Calculated m e n to cheer, W h o are going to meet their fate In a highly nervous state. Still to us it's evident, These attentions are well-meant. (Gilbert 1 9 9 4 , pp. 1 2 9 - 3 0 )

152 ANN SHEARER Fewer than forty years o n , there was n o joke left when w o m e n were singing ' W e d o n ' t want to lose y o u , but we think y o u should g o ' to a generation o f y o u n g men being sent to b l o o d y and senseless slaughter. N o t all w o m e n , o f course. M a n y showed extraordinary bravery in their resistance to the war, in a collective m o v e m e n t overtly based o n the identification o f woman-nature-life that has been echoed in w o m e n ' s peace movements ever since. Yet others again were sending white feathers to those they suspected o f cowardice. A n d any soldier w h o was either overwhelmed b y or challenged the madness would o f course be shot as a traitor. In those days, after all, m e n were men and w o m e n were w o m e n and everyone knew what that should mean. T h e s e days, we are a lot less sure. A t the same time, we know that there is n o projection without a hook to catch it, and we are very m u c h better informed about the realities o f men's violence to w o m e n , both individual and collective, historical and contemporary. But if the hook is one part o f the story, the projection is the other. T h e o r y tells us that psychic energy unlived builds up in the shadow and turns negative, and that shadow disowned is projected. D o e s that help us to see h o w it is that while many contemporary w o m e n have identified themselves as 'victims o f the patriarchy', the experience o f many contemporary men is that it is Eris, 'insatiably raging' w h o has been released? She is n o less terrifying in her compulsions than her brother Ares, g o d o f war. ' O n c e she begins, she cannot stop', as H o m e r tells us. ' A t first she seems a little thing, but before long, though her feet are still o n the ground, she has struck high heaven with her head . . . It was the groans o f dying men she wished to hear' ( H o m e r 1975, p p . 8 8 - 9 ) . T h e o r y also tells us that the projection o f shadow is the first step towards it b e c o m i n g conscious. A r e we beginning to see a time when w o m e n can consciously reclaim their aggression and so use it m o r e positively, thus freeing both themselves and the men w h o have been burdened with it? T o many (privileged, middle-class, Western) w o m e n the question may already seem redundant: they're doing it, aren't they? But in terms o f the underlying collective, we may yet have a way to g o before 'the feminine' is understood to include also its o w n aggression and the great goddesses w h o preside over war as well as the healing arts are o n c e m o r e fully honoured. ( A n d isn't there still something, for many people, well, rather unnatural about those w o m e n w h o fight their way to the top in what can still, amazingly, b e termed as a 'man's world'?) O l d perceptions die hard. A n d just in case we reach any prematurely conclusive new ones, here c o m e the gender-benders, the transvestites and the transsexuals, to tease and challenge our assumptions. That is their symbolic j o b , it seems, their images appearing at transitional times to turn the old order upside d o w n and clear the way for the new. T h e y appeared in their numbers to fascinate the last fin de siècle through life, art and literature (Showalter 1991). A n d n o w , at the end o f our o w n century, their images are the m o r e available to us in the streets, in performance, and in projection o n screens both large and small - images o f our other selves and o f new unions. ' T h e o r y - b u i l d i n g ' , as Jung reminds us, 'is the o u t c o m e o f discussion among m a n y ' (Jung 1938, para. 340), and not a few people have been working to restore and adapt his psychological structures for our times. James Hillman, for instance, has gone straight to the foundations to dig out Jung's perception o f anima as the feminine soul o f man

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and animus as the masculine spirit o f w o m a n . Rather, he insists, both animus and anima are at work in each o f us, whether w o m e n or men. F o r Hillman, ' T h e per definitionem absence o f anima in w o m e n is a deprivation o f a c o s m i c principle with n o less c o n s e q u e n c e in the practice o f analytical psychology than has been the theory o f penis deprivation in the practice o f psychoanalysis'. T h e logical o u t c o m e o f Jung's formulation, that w o m e n s o m e h o w are soul, because o f their feminine gender, is for h i m untenable: 'psyche, the sense o f soul, is not given to woman just because she is born female. She is n o m o r e blessed with a congenitally saved soul than man w h o must pass his life in worry over its fate. F o r her to neglect soul for the sake o f spirit is n o less psychologically reprehensible than it is in man w h o is ever being told b y analytical psychology that he must sacrifice intellect, persona and extroversion for the sake o f soul, inwardness - i.e. anima.' A n d again: ' W o m e n are as salty in their weepings and resentments,

as bitchy in their gossip, as abysmal in their dour

b r o o d i n g s , as m e n . . . W h y d o we call the same behaviour in one sex " a n i m a " and in the other "naturally f e m i n i n e " or shadow?' (Hillman 1986, p p . 6 1 , 63, 59). ( A n d , we c o u l d add, m e n may b e every bit as opinionated as w o m e n . W h y is the same behaviour in o n e sex 'animus-possession' and in the other natural masculinity or shadow?) S o for Hillman - and for others t o o (Kast 1986) - the work o f soul and o f spirit, the relating with anima and animus, is the work o f us all. ( A n d were not Marilyn M o n r o e and Princess Diana every bit as m u c h 'anima figures' for w o m e n as they were for m e n ? ) Others again - and the lead, significantly, has c o m e from the experience o f gay people for w h o m the o l d structures simply d o not work — have been refurbishing the fabric o f masculine and feminine. R o b e r t H o p c k e , for instance, writes o f the

insuperable

p r o b l e m for m e n , and particularly gay m e n , when 'even the anima's most positive qualities, s u m m e d u p perhaps most succinctly in her role as Eros carrier for men . . . are not seen as available to m e n as men, but rather as available to m e n only through w o m e n , only through the integration o f anima femininity, not as inherent in their masculinity' ( H o p c k e 1990, p . 9 0 ) . H e reclaims Eros as the phallic g o d , w h o far from being identified with 'the feminine principle', has been there in his generativity since the beginning o f time. F o r H o p c k e , then, it is an aspect o f their o w n essential masculinity with which m e n need to c o n n e c t . A n d the soul-guide in this work, the anima, may well appear, as it did for o n e gay man, as an insistently fascinating, beguiling, beckoning, ' Y o u n g Dark M a n ' . Others have also been reworking the fabric o f 'masculine' and 'feminine' to extend their boundaries. F o r John B e e b e , for instance, masculinity is both solar and lunar, as is femininity, and the task for men is not so m u c h to rush Jung's goal o f union with the anima as first to bring together their o w n solar and lunar aspects - something w h i c h , he says, w o m e n have long been willing to d o within themselves (Beebe 1993). T h a t last perception finds a fundamental e m b o d i m e n t in Genia Pauli H a d d o n ' s image o f the w o m b ' s function as b o t h receptive and nurturing and 'exerting, pushing forth'. ' I f we were to define femininity solely in accordance with the w o m b ' s birthing p o w e r , w e would speak o f it as the great opener o f what has been sealed, the initiator o f all going forth, the out-thrusting yang p o w e r at the heart o f being.' It is time, she says, for w o m e n to reclaim their pushiness, to recognize that sometimes being assertive is being feminine (Pauli H a d d o n 1987, 1991). Here, the psychic pole o f the archetype, imaged

154 ANN SHEARER in those great goddesses o f warfare and the peaceful arts, finds its c o m p l e t i o n in the biological. Sol and Luna, Eros and L o g o s , Aphrodite and A p o l l o , Athene and D i o n y s u s , the transvestite at the threshold and Marilyn M u n r o e , the Y o u n g Dark M a n and the golden Princess . . . W h o are they all, and the myriad others w h o also c r o w d in dream and fantasy into our inner landscape, but images o f that Other which is also ourselves? S o should w e be surprised at their multiplicity, or that they should appear to us, whether w e are men or w o m e n , n o w as ragged girl, n o w as diva, n o w as bookish b o y , n o w as gigolo? T h e y are images o f all that w e are not yet, and their function is to lead us towards it. A s Warren Colman reminds us in his delicate and thoughtful revisiting o f Jung's theory o f the contrasexual archetypes, it is this function o f these images o f what he calls 'the unknown soul' that matters, and to remember that takes us b e y o n d the debates o n the image and its gendering (Colman 1998). T h a t is what Jung himself was after. A s he said, 'it is because we are not using them purposefully as functions that they remain personified complexes'; o n c e their imaged message had been integrated, it would be simply as function that they would b e felt (Jung 1938, para. 339). F o r most o f us, that time is not yet; what we mostly k n o w is the yearning for our o w n inner unions and completions that give to those fleeting images their numinosity. F o r many people, the Other will still most often b e imaged above all as o f the opposite sex. A s Jung explains it (for m e n ) : 'What is not-I, not masculine, is most probably feminine, and because the not-I is felt as not belonging to m e and therefore as outside m e , the anima-image is usually projected u p o n w o m e n ' (Jung 1954, para. 58). But many w o m e n and men, whatever their conscious sexual orientation, k n o w that the 'unknown soul', and our union with it, will image itself also in a variety o f guises. -

A man dreams he is being pursued b y an androgynous creature, covered with hair. H e ' s terrified!

-

A woman dreams she is being raped b y another she admires not at all. It's horrible.

-

A w o m a n dreams o f T h e L a d y with the D o v e s , a figure o f powerful numinosity, w h o most sweetly welcomes her.

-

A man dreams o f an invitation to join the N a v y and set sail with all these fellowmen for the other side o f the world.

-

A man dreams he is making love with a woman with male genitalia. H o w pleasurable!

-

A w o m a n dreams she has a huge phallus, erect and thrusting to reach the sky itself. T h e p o w e r o f it!

-

A man dreams that he, as himself, is making love to a w o m a n - and realizes that he has female genitalia!

-

A w o m a n dreams: Ί was myself and also a man with a penis, making love to a woman w h o was also myself!'

' N o t for a m o m e n t ' , says Jung, 'dare w e s u c c u m b to the illusion that an archetype can b e finally explained and disposed of. Even the best attempts at explanation are only

MASCULINITIES AND FEMININITIES, WOMEN AND MEN 155 m o r e or less successful translations into another metaphorical language . . . T h e most we can d o is to dream the myth onwards and give it a m o d e r n dress' (Jung 1951, para. 2 7 1 , his italics). T h e style and shape o f the dress is collective, perhaps. But in its c o l o u r and texture, and the intricacies o f the weaving, we all have our part to play.

REFERENCES Baring, A. and Cashford, J. (1991). Myth of the Goddess: evolution of an image. London: Viking Arkana. Beebe, J. (1993). Integrity in Depth. New York: Fromm International Publishing Corporation. Cashford, J. (1998). 'Reflecting Mirrors: ideas of personal and archetypal gender', Harvest: Journal for Jungian Studies, 44(2). Colman, W. (1998). 'Contrasexuality and the Unknown Soul'. In I. Alister and C. Hauke (eds), Contemporary Jungtan Analysis. London: Routledge. Connell, R. (1987). Gender and Power: society, the person and sexual politics. Cambridge: Polity Press. Euripedes (1986). 'The Bacchae'. In The Bacchae and Other Plays, trs. Philip Vellacott. Harmondsworth: Penguin. French, M . (1985). Beyond Power: on women, men and morals. London: Jonathan Cape. Gilbert, W . S. (1994). The Savoy Operas. Ware, Hertfordshire: Wordsworth Editions. Gilligan, C. (1982). In a Different Voice: psychological theory and women's development. Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press. Haynes, J. and Shearer, A. (1998). When a Princess Dies: reflections from Jungian analysts. London: Harvest. Hillman, J. (1978). The Myth of Analysis. New York: Harper and Row. Hillman, J. (1986). Anima: an anatomy of a personified notion. Dallas, Texas: Spring Publications. Homer (1975). The Iliad, trs. Ε. V. Rieu. Harmondsworth: Penguin. Hopcke, R. (1990). Mens Dreams, Mens Healing. Boston: Shambhala. Jung, C. G. (1927). Women in Europe, vol. 10 of Collected Works. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul (1970). Jung, C. G. (1930). Dream Analysis: notes of a seminar given in 1928-30. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul (1984). Jung, C. G. (1938). Anima and Animus, vol. 7 of Collected Works. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul (1966). Jung, C. G. (1950). The Syzygy: anima and animus, vol. 9, ii, of Collected Works. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul (1959). Jung, C. G. (1951). The Psychology of the Child Archetype, vol. 9,1, of Collected Works. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul (1968). Jung, C. G. (1954). Archetypes of the Collective Unconscious, vol. 9, I, of Collective Works. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul (1968). Kast, V. (1986). The Nature of Loving: patterns of human relationship, trs. B. Matthews. Wilmette, 111.: Chiron Publications.

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Klossow de Rola, S. (1973). Alchemy: the secret art. London: Thames and Hudson. Lopez-Pedraza, R. (1977). Hermes and His Children. Zurich: Spring Publications. McGuire, W . and Hull, R. F. C. (eds) (1980). CG. Jung Speaking: interviews and encounters. London: Picador. Pauli Haddon, G. (1987). 'Delivering Yang Femininity'. In Spring. Dallas, Texas: Spring Publications. Pauli Haddon, G. (1991). 'The Personal and Cultural Emergence of Yang Femininity'. In C. Zweig (éd.), To be A Woman: the birth of conscious femininity. London: Mandala. Shearer, A. (1998). Athene: Image and Energy. London: Penguin Arkana. Showalter, E. (1987). The Female Malady: women, madness and English culture, 1830-1980. London: Virago. Showalter, E. (1991). Sexual Anarchy: gender and culture at the fin de siècle. London: Bloomsbury. Singer, J. (1989). 'The Sadness o f the Successful Woman'. In The Goddess Reawakening: the feminine principle today, comp. S. Nicholson. Wheaton, 111.: Quest Books. Steinem, G. (1987). Marilyn. London: Gollancz. Wehr, D . (\9%%). Jung and Feminism: liberating archetypes. London: Routledge. Wilhelm, R. (trs.) (1975). / Ching or Book of Changes, rendered into English by C. Baynes. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul.

CHAPTER 8

Dreaming in Depth Barbara Somers with Elizabeth Wilde McCormick

Editor's note: Readers of this chapter will enjoy the experience of being in conversation with Barbara Somers. As a founder of the Centre for Transpersonal Psychology, London, she brings alive both her rich and varied experience of working with dreams over the last 45 years and her deep love of the work. The chapter affirms the prime place of dreams in the work of therapy and their powerful systems of information. It looks at how therapists may begin to work with dreams m a session, particularly the first dream of a therapy, series of dreams and 'big' dreams. Through association and amplification, through understanding the order of the dream, therapists learn the drama of the inner life and have a link with the inside story of unconscious life. The dreams' gossamer threads, treated as delicte life in preparation, and linking image, feeling, symbol and archetypal force, all serve to awaken a wonder in the therapist as the unfolding landscape of the patient is revealed. N.W.

T H E INNER W O R L D , T H E OUTER W O R L D , A N D

THE

INTERFACE E M : S o w h y d o we dream? B S : M y guess is that that's h o w we're geared; we are created as creatures w h o dream. F r o m ordinary scientific testing (for example o f Rapid E y e M o v e m e n t sleep) w e k n o w that the majority o f human beings d o seem to dream. Babies dream; animals dream; possibly even the foetus is dreaming. It seems to be our nature to be dreamers. But is it we w h o are dreaming? E M : L i k e the butterfly? B S : Y e s , just like the butterfly. Chuang T s u [1974, p . 4 8 ] said: 'Last night I dreamt I was a butterfly; am I a man w h o dreamt I was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming that I ' m a m a n ? ' I have p o n d e r e d this ever since I was a child, b e c o m i n g altogether fascinated b y dreaming and imagination, b y the extension o f the senses into the arts, story-telling, m y t h , fairy tale - image-creating. A r e w e , indeed, beings in a multidimensional universe - and d o e s that universe dream us? I f it's the Self that is the D r e a m e r , then are w e being dreamed? S o w h y d o dreams c o m e ? M a y b e , living out o f mere segments o f ourselves, we all have the potential to b e in the round. D r e a m s c o m e to fill in s o m e o f the other segments, perhaps showing us h o w w e expect ourselves to b e in the outside world: ' C o u l d it b e that there is m o r e to y o u than y o u ' v e ever begun to express? A r e y o u trapped in the o l d patterns, the o l d ways, simply because y o u were told y o u were?'

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Dreams prepare us to reach out towards the fullness o f our natures, d e v e l o p a greater awareness, live m o r e fully, m o r e purposefully, m o r e consciously. A n d what is the underlying, or overlying, reason for consciousness? T h e whole o f life is a great stream o f consciousness, c o m i n g from the O n e , returning to the O n e - the Creator. I live b y the sea - 1 have this sea-house; I can sit in m y office at the c o m p u t e r , or be completely encompassed b y the walls o f the kitchen, doing what I have to d o and loving every minute o f it. But occasionally I glance up. T h e n - 1 notice the view outside. I step out through the doors to the sea-wall, to a completely different universe: sky, everchanging cloud-patterns, stars at night and play o f m o o n o n water. It was there all the time; I just didn't see it. I can't believe I bring that into being, or that it's been created just for m e to find it outside. It's an initial waking up. E M : A n d the night-dreams are there all the time? B S : I think so. I believe that we are dreaming all the time. A t night, when the b o d y and the senses are still, we can begin to m o v e towards levels o f consciousness blocked o f f from our everyday senses. W e reach out to dimensions where past, present and future all merge into the timeless; where the usual parameters o f u p and d o w n , in and out, N o r t h , South, East and W e s t , merge into a spacelessness that is the quality o f the dream. E M : That's h o w dreams get through? T h e y bring a charge with them, breaking through into consciousness so that we can't not notice them? B S : A n d if they really have something to say (and dreams often d o ) , they tell our external, narrow, confined life about this wider universe, this wider dimension. O u r lives are probably about our growing towards the wider context. E M : B y 'wider context' you mean - bringing in our o w n unconscious? B S : W e l l , it may be a universal consciousness. W e call the Inner side 'unconsciousness' because we're basically unconscious o f it in our everyday m o d e . But w h o is to say it's unconscious? It could be that it's an ever-widening context o f consciousness, and when we are quiescent it can c o m e to us. If relatively awake, we can m o v e towards it and make contact with it through meditation, contemplation and the use o f our imagination - it's a two-way dance. T a k e the map o f the Inner, the Outer and the Interface [Figure 2 ] . T h e idea is to help the dreamer make a bridge across between Inner and Outer. T h e dream is offering them information; their outer self is being invited to turn towards the Interface, reentering the inner world, seeing the cross-connections. E M : Y o u can b e c o m e so familiar with dreams that you can ask for a dream? B S : Y e s ; you b e c o m e aware o f the language, the possibility o f it. It's like learning to b e c o m e a dressmaker or a carpenter: o n c e y o u concentrate your attention along a particular line, y o u begin to notice a great deal m o r e than y o u otherwise w o u l d . T h e dream often follows the shape o f a play, o f theatre. T h e typical dream-shape is four-fold and the dream is in four acts. A c t O n e sets the scene, introduces the

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characters, place, time and m o o d , and the play begins. A c t T w o states the plot, amplifying the p r o b l e m or question to be explored. In A c t T h r e e , the plot is w o v e n ; this is the b a c k b o n e , the pith o f the dream, the action. T h e n A c t F o u r is the o u t c o m e , the d é n o u e m e n t , where the dreamer may be shocked awake. It brings a conclusion, a suggested resolution. S o m e t h i n g has broken through into consciousness, so the dream can stop. A n d the beauty o f it! T h e glory — the w o n d e r - tautness — spareness — e c o n o m y o f language — o f the dream. It must be seen to be believed! T h i s is the greatest dramatist o f all at work; and the m o r e y o u work with it, the m o r e y o u learn to trust that emergence, and to recognize the sheer artistry o f it all. E M : R e c o r d i n g dreams helps y o u make that bridge. W o u l d y o u encourage your clients to dream, and keep a dream book? B S : Y e s , but only if it's their language. It can't b e forced; s o m e people are very frightened b y the idea that there may be something over and b e y o n d the parameters o f their k n o w n w o r l d . But others are trying to reach further, to a deeper understanding o f what life is about. I encourage those p e o p l e to relax, o p e n u p , hear the language o f the inner world c o m i n g to them. It's not unfamiliar to most clients; they knew it as

F i g u r e 2 T h e Inner, the Outer and the Interface

160 BARBARA SOMERS WITH ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK children, dreaming their dreams or playing their play - being the engine driver, then b e c o m i n g the engine, going on fantastic journeys through the reaches o f imagination. It was difficult then to k n o w which was the reality, the inner or the outer. But educationally we were got at, taught what was outer and what was inner, and the separation began to be made.

THERAPY E M : Let's m o v e into therapy. W h y d o we work with dreams? What, and h o w , does it add to the therapy? B S : M a n y w h o c o m e towards therapy are living out o f a fraction o f the totality o f their nature. Caught and trapped into the narrow confines o f the outer world, they c o m e to feel that's the only reality. Involved in other people's expectations and attitudes - their o w n expectations and attitudes - they begin to live very partial, lopsided lives, losing half their identity. M o r e and more cut o f f from it as the years g o b y , they wake up o n e day and realize they are in a prison, a very cramped, small, airless space. M u c h o f what is true to the fullness o f their being is pushed d o w n out o f the way and suppressed. T h e y ' r e told: 'It's all imagination. It's not something y o u ought to feel. Y o u feel like thisY Nevertheless, there's a sense o f something greater. V e r y many people expect a dimension o f reality b e y o n d what the world itself presents. O v e r and over again I hear, ' T h e r e should b e something further!' E M : A n d the dream is a way in? B S : Y e s , because it c o m e s to them, unexpectedly. T h e y d o n ' t create it, it c o m e s to them. L o o k at 'Assagioli's E g g ' [Figure 3 ] . W e can - roughly - map on to it the question ' W h e r e d o dreams c o m e from?' First, at (a), the dot in the centre, is the everyday T , the self with a s m a l l ' s ' . T h e n round the centre at ( b ) is the Field o f Everyday Awareness, containing the semiconscious material to which, like the data bank o f a computer, one has fairly ready access. ' W h a t is that person's name?' - and five minutes later it p o p s into your mind. A t (c) is the M i d d l e Unconscious. Probably clearing dreams are from this region, the 'hypnagogic' dreams that c o m e as we g o into sleep, processing the material o f the day. T h e y ' r e a mix, a merging o f what's been happening in the day-time with the m o v e m e n t towards deeper night-time sleep. Say y o u ' v e been to the Chinese T a k e - A w a y ; that's where the dream starts, but then it takes off, far from the Chinese T a k e - A w a y , into something behind the scenes. T h e b o t t o m part o f the E g g , at ( d ) , is the L o w e r U n c o n s c i o u s . A s meditation helps clear, relax, let g o o f day-time attitudes, so the night-time dreaming state allows things repressed, suppressed, uncomfortable to admit and acknowledge in consciousness, to c o m e out and present themselves. T h i s is where they've been deposited, put d o w n in a kind o f 'dustbin o f the unconscious', as it has often been called. A s the ' o n -

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a b c d e f g h

T h e Ego. The Field of Immediate Everyday Awareness. T h e Middle Unconscious, surface memory, accessible with a time-lag. The Lower Unconscious. Often thought to be the dustbin of the psyche, full of things too painful, too irrelevant, expendable. But it can also be the compost for the seeds of future potential and creativity, T h e Higher Unconscious, or Supra-conscious. Deeper, inner area. Intution. Future potential, just beyond reach, the evolution of consciousness, T h e Higher Self, overlying, underlying and through all, not just on the top. T h e Self In the Depths. Transpersonal Psychology adds the Self also in the deep; the Self which chooses the life, knows, intervenes, T h e Collective Unconscious. The domain of the Archetypes.

F i g u r e 3 Assagioli's Egg: the psychosynthesis map

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162 BARBARA SOMERS WITH ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK guardedness' o f everyday consciousness is rested back into sleep and

day-time

consciousness is less alert, what has been held d o w n and disregarded has a chance. T h i s material can be very painful - it was put there for safeguarding just because it was so painful. It often comes up as what we call 'nightmare', and can feel - and b e frightening. T h e dream says to us things that in consciousness we have tried all our lives to keep under. It holds a back-mirror up to us and we see, not the conscious presentation that w e ' v e chosen to put out to the world, but its other side! T h a t can be frightening, the m o r e so the more we have been holding at bay. E M : T h i s is s o m e part o f themselves that has had to be repressed or rejected? T h e Shadow? B S : T h e Shadow-self, yes; the part not acceptable in consciousness is tucked d o w n there, but it takes the opportunity o f night-sleeping to present itself again. E M : Barbara, can you say something about the timing o f those more unconscious, repressed, S h a d o w aspects when they emerge in therapy? B S : I always look at it as a good sign for the well-being o f the dreamer. T h e i r o w n psyches are presenting them with aspects o f themselves that they d o n ' t choose to recognize; yet, if recognized, they're very valuable energies to have alongside. I believe all these dream-images are containers o f energies that have been repressed - and o f one's creativity. E M : Have y o u any examples? B S : Y e s . A man came to m e with a series o f dreams. H e was being slowly and inexorably pursued b y a Frankenstein monster-like figure, dragging and shuffling towards him, totally paralysed d o w n the left side. Wherever he went - into his office, his h o m e , his b e d r o o m , his garden - this shuffling figure implacably followed. L o o k i n g back over his shoulder, he'd catch flashes, glimpses o f it and its face was as i f all made up o f spare parts! It was horrifying. T h r o u g h talking about the figure, he finally had the courage to draw it. T h i s allowed him to address and set up a dialogue with it. H e realized it was the other side o f himself, and it was all made up o f spare parts - other people's viewpoints, attitudes, ideas as to h o w he should be - all bits o f himself! T h e figure wore an artist's smock, very torn and paint-stained. Whatever had happened to the artistic side o f him? W a s it in the paralysis o f this deeply, profoundly sad face? In ordinary life he'd kept up a wonderful, intact front; on the ball, briefcase under arm, very smart. But occasionally, o n dark days, he'd see himself in the shaving mirror half paralysed d o w n o n e side. E M : W a s this a balance, a compensation? B S : It was - and more. Dreams can sometimes talk about things that haven't happened yet. It isn't always repressed material that takes the opportunity o f the dream. T h o s e that c o m e in these nightmarish ways are intending to be seen; sometimes they're bringing the seeds o f unknown, untouched potentiality u p from the unconscious. A n d the timing o f it! T h e s e are energies that need n o longer b e held d o w n in the unconscious — they can't be!

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E M : Y o u are looking at the compensatory but also at the transformative nature o f dreams. W o u l d y o u always look at both; or w o u l d there b e times when y o u w o u l d hold back o n what is in potentia? B S : O h yes. H e came to it in his o w n time. T h e back-mirror was held u p for h i m to look into, whether he wanted to or not. A s he began to explore it, the figure revealed its potential. E M : S o the dream b r o u g h t h i m into it, and he came to his o w n subjective understanding; rather than its being your - the therapist's - objective

understanding?

T h e r e ' s a lot o f talk about dream interpretation, isn't there - wading in there with o n e ' s o w n ideas? B S : W h i c h is to take the dream away from the dreamer. Since that dream came to that dreamer in that form, better encourage the dreamer to dialogue with that aspect o f his nature and discover what it has to say to h i m - and w h y at this particular time in his life. E M : A n d y o u ' d keep any ideas about it to yourself? B S : I w o u l d , yes, unless specifically asked. A n d then I w o u l d say, ' C o u l d it b e t h a t . . . ? ' or ' M i g h t y o u consider that this is part o f yourself?' But only if asked. E M : M i g h t y o u ever b e tempted to say ' C o u l d this have anything to d o with X ? ' - if, say, y o u felt s o m e o n e ' s e g o was trying to take over the understanding o f the dream? B S : I w o u l d n ' t c o m e in with anything while they were still working o n the dream. W h e n they had b r o u g h t out everything they possibly c o u l d , then I might help with a few bridging w o r d s or speculations. Interpretation I w o u l d avoid.

ASSOCIATION A N D AMPLIFICATION E M : Imagine a therapist is training with us and her client says ' I ' v e got a dream'. H o w w o u l d she approach and work with that dream? B S : W e l l , sometimes the dreamer likes to tell the dream. A s therapist, I'd ask them to enter the dream m o o d from the beginning, to say it in a dreamy way . . . E M : Even closing their eyes? B S : I f closing their eyes is appropriate - and for the majority o f people it is. Ask them just to enter, re-enter, the m o o d o f the dream as they recall it, and tell it at a slowish, dreamy pace. T h a t allows m e time to write it d o w n , not interrupting, letting them g o right through to the end. T h e n I ask for their feeling o n waking? D i d any title c o m e to them? Quite frequently o n e does, and it can b e full o f impact. T h e n together we work o n the text o f the dream. I stay as close as possible to the way in which it was presented, which is the freshest and most immediate. S o m e t i m e s they bring in a written text, but I still ask them to read it in a dreamy way, not just g o b b l e d e g o o k : 'Enter the dream m o o d - contact the feeling o f the dream'. T h e n w e begin to follow along, as o n e w o u l d in a play, starting from the entry point o f

164 BARBARA SOMERS WITH ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK the dream, not interpreting at all, just going through. A n d I read it back to the dreamer, stanza b y stanza, using exactly the words they've used: 'It starts at night, in this darkened street, and y o u ' v e said it's not a place that y o u know. What's the feeling o f that? D o e s it suggest anything to you? D o e s it remind y o u o f anything?' E M : T h a t would be 'association'? B S : It's their o w n very personal associations. I gather the associations they give without querying them, writing d o w n for them just exactly the words they use for later usage. W e g o through, stanza by stanza, following the shape as closely as possible. I pause; I say in dreamy tones: ' S o then - as y o u turn the corner - there's a lit-up d o o r - y o u enter the doorway - and you see a flight o f steps going d o w n . . . ' I ' d stop there and say 'just follow that through - what is the feeling o f that? W h a t is the m o o d - what is your sense as you g o through - what does it remind you o f ? ' E M : Almost inviting them into it . . . B S : Y e s , into it, so that they're re-enacting it. ' W h a t does that mean to y o u ? ' ' A h - h a ' s ' often c o m e up as they are making their associations: ' O h , I hadn't thought o f that!' or ' T h a t reminds m e o f another dream!' B y the end we have a whole network o f associations going out from the stanzas o f the dream. I try never to use a word that they haven't used; I stay exactly with their words, which will often evoke something. ' T h a t was really, really scary!' they say. 'Stay with the feeling. W h a t kind o f scary? D o e s that 'scary' remind y o u o f anything?' T h e y ' r e being invited to re-enter the dream - but n o w from their waking self, beginning to interact with their dreaming self. S o that's o n e way o f working at that level with a dream, through associations. T h e r e are many other m o d e s o f working o n the dream. T h e person can b e c o m e different parts o f their dream (the Gestalt way o f working). I f it's a dream with m o v e m e n t in it I may invite them to walk the dream, re-enacting it silently, going through its stanzas first as the dreamer, then as the 'dreaming self. It's d o n e from the point o f view o f the b o d y : perhaps the dreamer was walking along a road, or going d o w n a flight o f stairs . . . E M : Y o u get them to walk it in their imagination, sitting in a chair? B S : N o . If that particular client can d o it without embarrassment, I invite them actually to walk it. A huge amount o f extra information c o m e s in through the b o d y ' s feeling. T h o u g h not apparently present, its senses have taken in a great deal. E M : Barbara, when would you use 'amplification'? B S : Amplification is the texture, the wider context o f the dream, over and b e y o n d the personal dreamer. F o r instance, a snake in a dream is the dreamer's snake; they make their associations to the snake. But the snake has always been related to human beings; from the beginning human beings have had views about and ways o f seeing snakes. Cross-connecting into the wider context from ' W h a t is the meaning o f "snake" for y o u ? ' may help them to discover the wider meaning o f 'snake' for the whole o f humankind. E M : Like the Frankenstein man? B S : Y e s . H e ' d read the story and seen the film, and that's what the figure in his dream

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looked like. But it was very specifically his Frankenstein figure. Presumably this dream was dreamed b y many dreamers long before M a r y Shelley wrote Frankenstein* E M : T h e idea o f the monster . . . B S : . . . the monster, the scapegoat, the unacceptable being, the terrifying Other that o n c e tyrannized small human beings in large places. It's part o f the context o f their imagination, their story, their folklore from the beginning o f time. It's making that cross-connection. H e r e ' s an example o f amplification. A man recalled h o w , between the ages o f three and fifteen, h e ' d spent most o f the time in hospital, pinned d o w n o n a board o n traction, endlessly tyrannized by an appalling harpy o f a M a t r o n . T h e only thing he discovered o n that ward was that he had the m o s t beautiful voice; he developed it in secret, singing quietly for the other children at night when M a t r o n had gone. W h e n he c a m e to see m e he said he was an Aquarian. I chose to say something amplifying: ' H o w extraordinary! D i d y o u k n o w that the myth o f Aquarius is

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Prometheus?' I told h i m a little about h o w Prometheus was tied d o w n o n the rocks, suggesting he might read the rest o f the story for himself. A n d so he read: Prometheus stealing fire - in the U n d e r w o r l d - p e g g e d out o n the rock - his liver pecked out each day by a carrion bird - (he associated this to the M a t r o n , w h o m he called an O l d harpy'). A n d at night the liver re-grew - he associated that with singing his songs at night. A s he researched, he realized his story had a m u c h wider context, a profounder meaning; it ceased to b e just a terrible incident that had happened to ' p o o r h i m ' : it had happened to other human beings before him. H e took courage and began to sing in public, speaking o f it as his 'fire v o i c e ' , his stolen fire. E M : S o he m o v e d from the personal . . . B S : F r o m the very personal, the very narrow, the almost unredeemable situation, to realizing that the story belonged to the whole o f humanity. It wasn't just his; it was m u c h wider, o p e n i n g up the fountain o f his imagination and the reach and range o f what that c o u l d mean. E M : A n d so the imagination begins to d o its o w n healing. T h e r e are s o m e people for w h o m that doesn't work, aren't there; s o m e people w h o can't g o over that bridge and make it their o w n , or enter into that space? B S : Y e s ; and that's never to b e fought against. O n e uses amplification only after o n e has all the associations. E M : A n d h o w important is that amplification! I have known trainee and other therapists bursting with information and stories; but i f they tell them, it's the therapist's story rather than the dreamer's. B S : T h a t ' s right! H e r e ' s another story o f amplification. A man had a dream o f a small, circular mediaeval city with a square in the middle. In the centre o f the square was what he called a 'plague tree'. I said Ά plague tree?' ' Y e s , ' he said. 'It's all withered. A n o l d w o m a n b y the tree tells m e it's the plague tree. In the time o f the plague lots o f cities had them. W h e n the plague was c o m i n g near, the tree w o u l d begin to die. A n d she said,

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" T h i s is the tree o f your life". I woke sweating in horror about this; what o n earth could it mean?' H e ' d never heard o f a plague tree - I'd never heard o f a plague tree either. I suggested he drew the tree. A n d he kept putting little green leaves o n it, saying Ί realize it isn't totally dead'. What were his associations - ' W h a t might a plague tree mean for y o u ? ' A n d then he remembered h o w h e ' d always longed for rapport with his father, but was always pushed away with ' G o away, y o u plaguey little nuisance!' Ί cut back m y g r o w t h , ' he said, sobbing as he started another picture, remembering h o w he'd felt. H e looked d o w n . His hand had been drawing another tree for him. A sapling putting out green shoots. ' W h e r e did that c o m e from? D i d I really draw that?' T h e n , crossconnecting: ' A m I still a plaguey little nuisance?' Consciously, he'd been talking; unconsciously, his hand had been drawing something different. T h e tree he didn't k n o w h e ' d drawn had, like the dream, c o m e through at the unconscious level, setting it all in a wider context, showing him w h y he was so narrow, so tentative, always thinking other p e o p l e would find him a nuisance or a bore. H i s contexts were widened because he allowed other possibilities to penetrate and enlarge him.

T H E D E V E L O P M E N TO F D R E A M S Childhood B S : L e t ' s g o back to the Inner and the Outer [Figure 2 ] . A s very small infants w e c o m e into incarnation from the unconscious Inner, over the Interface, in order to live an external life. A n d , having happened into the Outer world, our bodies begin to develop in adaptation. But the child, to begin with, carries an e n o r m o u s number o f connections with where it came from. Perhaps not quite 'trailing clouds o f glory', it does have access to the unconscious side o f its infant life, sharing b o t h conscious and unconscious with its mother. It picks u p what is unstated b y the external world, knowing, for instance, whether or not it is truly loved. ( H o w e v e r m u c h it's told it's loved, i f it doesn't feel itself to b e , then it knows it's not.) It has a profound ability to k n o w the w o r l d , sensing b e y o n d the senses. M a n y children find it very difficult to adapt when something in them knows better than what they are being told. Sometimes, knowing a truth greater than the o n e presented to them, they may sense that they are older than their parents. Dreams are the bridge for children. M y o w n little grandson, at four or five, w o u l d talk about 'his mountain' that he came from. H e had many dreams o f being o n that mountain. H e 'helped the M u m m i e s look after the children'. H i s parents asked him if he was a D a d d y with lots o f children? H e said, N o , he wasn't a D a d d y - he 'tied u p the legs and helped them look after the children'. H e was trying to say that he was a healer o f some kind. H e referred back again and again to his mountain. It has a great reality for him. Frances W i c k e s (1977, p . 192) tells o f the little b o y w h o had a dream o f having a spark within him, a bonfire spark, there for him in his dreams:

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Ί have a friend, he is little as a twinkle and as big as pitch-black dark.' H e described Twinkle as 'littler t h a n a star, but he really is a star, but T w i n k l e doesn't go out, he stays there.' So at night he w o u l d always be there to help h i m , this little spark in the darkness. In the daytime, w h e n Pitch Black Dark frightened him - w h e n he w a s scared at school - he would have to concentrate to r e m e m b e r h i m : 'Pitch Black Dark can w a l k right into the daytime, and then I have to think very hard to see Twinkle.' EM:

A r e dreams always g o o d , containing a potential o f the Self? After all, the Self is

b e y o n d j u d g e m e n t and can bring b o t h positive and negative. Can they sometimes b e malevolent? BS:

I think dreams are potential carriers o f raw human experience, o f energy. Energy

is neither positive nor negative, malevolent or benevolent, it just is. It's what y o u d o with it that counts. EM:

H o w the e g o takes it in consciousness?

BS: Y e s . T h e energy contained within the dream is from the beginning. T h e dream is carrier for the potential o f the fullness o f our nature. W h e t h e r it turns to evil or to g o o d is neither here nor there. It's just a great energy unfolding itself. The

small child is very closely c o n n e c t e d with inner reality, with 'the U n c o n s c i o u s '

as w e w o u l d n o w call it. A s they c o m e out over the threshold into the w o r l d , it's essential that the Interface between Inner and Outer begin to b e m o r e o p a q u e , less transparent. If the child retained its contact with all o f the Inner W o r l d it c o u l d scarcely function outside. T y p i c a l l y around age five or six the senses d e v e l o p in relation to the outer w o r l d , but they close d o w n in relation to their extrasensory ability in order that the child can function. T h i s is the period o f so-called 'nightmares', when children are usually experiencing a collision between Outer and Inner experience. A lot o f big impacts are hitting them. The

adults (the g o d s ) are disagreeing with each other. S c h o o l is a Big S c h o o l for them.

T h e y question the big issues: W h a t is life? What is death? W h e r e d o babies c o m e from? The

huge figures in their dreams are there to b e transitional objects, to help take them

into the outer w o r l d . Children take in a very great deal. O n e child had parents w h o were considering d i v o r c i n g but never let it b e k n o w n to her, s h o w i n g a front o f unity and friendliness to each other 'for the sake o f the c h i l d ' . T h e child had dreams o f great giants rolling dice, k n o w i n g the way the dice fell c o u l d mean the difference between her being allowed to live and being asked to die. T h e s e b i g dreams, full o f impact, are very close to fairy tales and stories. It's important that the child has s o m e access to stories, with their Big Baddies and Big G o o d i e s , their C h o c o l a t e Factories, their naughtiness, outrageousness, joyfulness, playfulness, their disorderly c o n d u c t - handling all that! T h e child is trying to bring itself - o r sometimes it's being painfully brought - into line with the external world. And

it's all being acted out, there in the stories! A n d it's very often being acted out

there in their dreams, t o o , helping the child align itself to the external world and giving it the aid and the w i d e n e d recognition o f something greater than itself. Fairy stories are wonderful, bringing in all the g o o d and naughty characters - hobgoblins, leprechauns,

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fairy godmothers; the stories help carry the child's over-exuberance o f energy and life, and show ways in which it can be ordered. After all, the witch can always b e pushed into the oven and the d o o r slammed on her. E M : A n d the stories give it straight from the Inner; it's not explanation . . . B S : Fairy stories were o n c e s o m e b o d y ' s dreams. T h e y were told as stories, from village to village and place to place, till the fairies and the witches took o n the qualities o f the divine and the secular - the g o o d and the bad. It's all human experience. But at s o m e earlier point, it was s o m e b o d y ' s dream that had been turned into a tale and picked u p , together with other people's dreams and visualizations and imagination, and given the form and shape o f story, so helpful for the growing child. I often w o n d e r h o w children make any sense o f the adult world. T h e y have to align with it when, from their point o f view, it's often crazy. But the dreams d o help to make sense o f it. All right, y o u ' v e dreamt o f your pirate under the b e d . But if, waking u p , y o u can be c u d d l e d and warmed, you discover that the pirate may after all c o m e out from under the bed! A n d he w o n ' t always be there - occasionally he will, but it's all right, you can survive; you hold on to your teddy bear (your 'transitional object'!) and y o u can survive in the world, however trying.

A d o l e s c e n c e and y o u n g adulthood B S : N e x t , the child crosses the threshold into Adolescence. A t the Interface the veil is opaque. T h e thrust o f life is outwards, into a wider life. In m y experience, a lot o f y o u n g people hovering o n the threshold have dreams that would o n c e have been part o f tribal rites. D r e a m s act as the puberty rites o f initiation and separation o n c e did, leading away from the roots, the matrix, leading out o f the b o y s ' hut and away from the menstrual hut o f the girls, into apprenticeship to life and to the Sun and the M o o n , the ancestral gods. Nowadays, this often means the tension o f separation-anxiety. It means leaving h o m e - parents - the known and familiar and cosy - to seek n e w paths and n e w leaders. It doesn't mean staying in wish-fulfilling daydreams, but taking the courage to experience 'life out there'. It means m o v i n g from dependence to responsibility as the 'learning' b o y or girl, towards our potential as an ego-Self. T h e Lunar world o f the S h a d o w falls behind - to b e met again later. E M : W o u l d the initiation rites have been shared in a group; or would they let s o m e o n e on to the next stage, helping with a rite o f passage? B S : It's rather that dreams n o w c o m e in to replace the lost initiation rites that w o u l d o n c e have been experienced. I can remember a b o y o f twelve, g o o d neither at sports nor educationally. A t school he felt himself to be in n o place. H e dreamt he was in a match: he fell d o w n in the scrum and - covered with m u d , he was being kicked all over the place. It turned out he was the ball! H e sat u p and started to cry, but a b i g man in a padded greatcoat said, ' C o m e o n son, d o n ' t cry. Feel into your m o u t h . ' H e felt into his

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m o u t h - and h e ' d lost his t w o front teeth. Tt was terrifying - terrifying!' I asked h i m , ' W h a t sort o f terrifying - what was the feeling o f "terrifying"?' A n d he said, Τ felt I'd g o n e through something - I'd had m y t w o baby teeth knocked out, and I was a real man.' S o m e o f the initiation rites in Africa included the knocking out o f the t w o front teeth; getting rid o f the baby teeth meant m o v i n g over into m a n h o o d . E M : S o m e t i m e s dreams o f losing teeth are to d o with ageing? B S : Y e s . But they can also b e about p e o p l e ' s grip o n life, h o w m u c h they're taking life in and ingesting it, biting into life, masticating the nourishment they're given. A r e they losing their grip? E M : H a n g i n g o n b y the skin o f their teeth! B S : Exactly so! Beautifully put. But that theme w o u l d have a different meaning at different ages. T h i s b o y was o n the threshold o f adolescence, and his dream is just o n e o f the many initiation m o d e s that were used collectively in the past. I have another example, this time from a girl o f about sixteen: I have inherited m y mother's jewellery; I also have her liver in a plastic bag, all flabby and dead-looking. I try to pass through customs, but the official says ' T h e s e are not yours. Y o u are trying to smuggle them through. Y o u must give them u p , or g o back to where y o u came f r o m . ' H e is b o t h fierce and friendly. H e ' s right - but what will M o t h e r say? M o t h e r is indeed the D r a g o n to be slain. N o w , the y o u n g person must make even m o r e adaptation to the external w o r l d . N o w may c o m e the first dream sightings o f the 'beautiful b e l o v e d ' or 'the handsome prince', as in the fairy stories. T h i s is the first sighting o f the 'otherness', the contrasexual side o f our o w n nature. N o w w e meet the possibility o f relatedness in the w o r l d , and o f our relationship to ourselves - or the lack o f it. A s p e o p l e c o m e u p to their late teens and early twenties, into youth and y o u n g w o m a n h o o d or m a n h o o d , they often dream o f thresholds. A y o u n g man o f twenty-four dreamed: I ' m leaving school. I ' m seventeen, but wearing short trousers and m y cap. I ' m scared o f a gang o f older b o y s w h o want to beat m e u p , and I decide to escape b y the back way. S u d d e n l y , a huge bear stands in front o f m e , with an axe in its paws. I am terrified out o f m y wits. 'Kill m e ' , says the bear and hands m e the axe. It seems I have to behead it and c l i m b inside its skin. I ' m torn between sadness for the bear, and k n o w i n g I could frighten o f f the bullies if I were in a bear's skin. T h e bear says, ' Y o u have to c h o o s e . ' I raise the axe - and wake up in shock.

The middle years B S : In adulthood, around thirty-five to forty-two, dreams very often bring the realization o f h o w far w e have c o m e from our inner reality. O n the map o f the Inner and the Outer and the Interface [Figure 3 ] , w e ' v e m o v e d over to the right, the Outer, the extremity o f the external w o r l d . T h i s is when dreams c o m e in to show us h o w lopsided

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is our development, h o w m u c h o f our true Selves, our true nature, has been left behind. E M : L i k e the sounding o f a gong? B S : It is the sounding o f a gong - it's a resonance, as if o f the main c h o r d o f our life. It begins the wake-up alert, for us to realize . . . E M : . . . the beginning o f the descent o f the Ego? B S : . . . yes, but rather than 'descent' it's a return to the surface in a spiral progression. N o w we're at the peak point, at noon, furthest from the unconscious. A n d when that resonance sounds through, the dreams draw attention to h o w m u c h w e ' v e lived b y other people's scripts. T h e Frankenstein dream was a perfect example - the dreamer was in his middle years. T h e thrust o f the development o f the dreams seems to be to take us through those years, gathering up parts o f ourselves as we begin the rites o f incorporation and return. G e n d e r issues arise, both outside and within, as we c o m e to k n o w our o w n contrasexual side, the Anima and A n i m u s . T h e dreams are often uncomfortable, c o m i n g at us from our blind spots to challenge and to strengthen. Emerson said they give us 'an answer in hieroglyphics to the question we should pose'. D r e a m s bring S h a d o w issues from below the threshold o f consciousness, showing us our hidden, denied, perhaps unknown face. W e meet the tension o f opposites within ourselves as we struggle with polarities: head versus heart; inner versus outer; intended goal versus actual ability. A n d dreams raise S h a d o w stuff, that which is not in the light o f consciousness. Can the e g o withstand the meeting with its Shadow? O r , remaining blinkered, will it deny it? T h e S h a d o w in dreams is usually a figure o f the same gender as the dreamer, negative or positive. In its negative aspect it's threatening,

scary,

'nightmarish'.

Sometimes it's ludicrous - the dream may b e sending it u p , and that needs to be listened to. It sends urgent messages from the unheard, denied parts o f our nature; it gives focus to attitudinal problems and their solutions, both inside us and in the outside world; it exposes our ego-limitations, helping us to enlarge and amplify; and it invites us to risk change, risk the unknown. Will w e regressively repeat the o l d patterns? O r learn from the dream's c o m m e n t s , and b e less lopsided, m o r e in the round? Here's a dream o f a man o f forty-three, an intellectual, a real know-all. T h e dream was saying that parts o f the e g o were due to die: I am walking towards a fine sunset, and am terrified to find I cast n o shadow. A m I real - d o I exist? It's a nightmarish feeling. A n d a woman o f thirty-six: I am hosting a dinner party. I lead the guests into the dining r o o m and to m y horror, see the washing line with all m y underwear hanging across the r o o m . A n d a m o n g the clothes are s o m e shrunken heads! She realized the dream was saying, Ί d o n ' t want m y friends to see m y hang-ups!' Scary, nightmarish dreams often pre-empt a death, not usually o f the dreamer but o f some ego-attitude. Since this death is required, or in process, or to c o m e , the dreams often include dying - death - dismemberment - murder - mayhem - warning o f

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change needed. Τ am at m y o w n funeral - I am to b e beheaded - m y feet are being c h o p p e d o f f . . . ' ( w h i c h may b e about standpoint) - T m being torn apart, I'll b e put in the c o o k i n g pot!' Positive S h a d o w figures, like M e r c u r y or H e r m e s , are often threshold keepers. T h e y ' r e porters, frontier-guards, customs officers, ticket collectors, ferrymen, asking if we're ready to cross to new territory. Often friendly and helpful, they are boundary p e o p l e - wanderers, o l d bag-ladies, o d d - j o b people, tramps, Sherpas, cleaning ladies, plumbers. A man in his fifties, w h o says he is u p in his head, out o f touch with his feelings and a workaholic, dreamt: I am at the dining table, writing o n an important business matter. S u d d e n l y water first drips then gushes through the ceiling, falling o n m y d o c u m e n t s . W h a t to do? T h e p l u m b e r , a b i g man, warm and friendly, arrives, looks upstairs and asks i f I have 'a first aid kit' to m e n d the pipe. I say, Τ only have a hammer.' ' T h a t ' s your p r o b l e m , G u v ! ' he says. I wake, very upset. A n o t h e r man, forty-two and near to burn-out, had this dream: I ' m lost at night o n a country road. It's frightening, and I ' m wet and famished. I see a fire, and an o l d tramp b y it. I say: T ' v e lost m y bearings.' H e says, ' A n d I've lost m y wits. C o m e and share m y bread with m e . ' H e hands m e a b o w l o f steaming stew and a hunk o f rough bread . . . A n d here the dreamer cried uncontrollably, and c o u l d hardly finish telling his dream. A t this n o o n point, furthest from the unconscious, w e are 'alone out there'. T h e dreams tend to state polarities so that w e can experience the tensions before reconciling them. W i t h sexual dreams w e need to recognize that 'the other' is also ourselves. W h a t we d o to the other, we d o to ourselves. T h e r e f o r e , a w o m a n ' s dreams o f the masculine are also c o m m e n t s o n her relationship to her inner A n i m u s ; and a man's dreams o f the feminine are also c o m m e n t s o n his relationship to his A n i m a . T h e s e dreams, o f a w o m a n o f twenty-nine, a teacher in training, cast light o n the synthesis o f the e g o and the persona. T h e p r o b l e m was the parental script: A s teacher to y o u n g children, I ' m writing o n the blackboard, in white chalk. T h e r e is a big, hairy, frightening man standing alongside m e , writing t o o : I write ' g o o d ' ; he writes 'bad'. I write 'polite', he writes 'randy'. I try to write ' n i c e ' , but I write 'B-randy, Brandy' instead. H e writes 'spirit' with a great

flourish.

H e then leaps at m e and wrestles m e to the floor. I smell his sweat, his bad breath. H e has big teeth. H e kisses m e . I am sexually aroused — but 'not in front o f the children!' I wake u p in alarm and horror. T h e n I g o back to sleep: N o w , I ' m wandering along a dark street o f high-rise buildings, through graffiti and filth. I must find ' m y baby'. I ' m frightened I'll be attacked - but determined. I turn into an alleyway, a 'blind alley', to shelter and ' c o v e r m y back'. I hear whimpering - and in a dustbin is m y baby, a girl, most beautiful with a soft petal face. She's three m o n t h s o l d , and wrapped in a torn blanket. I pull back the blanket, and see she has a hairy b o d y and a small, erect penis. It is his child.

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S o , our dreams carry us towards the marriage o f opposites, into a wholeness. T h e y m o v e us from ignorance, grasping, lust, wanting to have others carry our inadequacies, towards courtship in the courts o f love.

Maturity B S : N o w w e are c o m i n g towards - maturity! H e r e the ego's H e r o i c Quest begins to lose its p o w e r . T h e journey to maturity and self-integration is less about worldly success, power, possession, prestige, and m o r e about allowing the maturing person to c o m e towards psychic wholeness, including both inner and outer values. F o r this, the claims o f the e g o need to b e subordinated to those o f the wider Self. T h e r e ' s n o ego-triumph in this. W e learn that heroic strength o f the muscle-flexing type doesn't help m u c h . Dreams n o w often teach us about the acceptance o f a wider context. W e can't succeed b y guile; there's n o bribing this initiatory door-keeper. All that counts is w h o w e really are, our o w n intrinsic worth, our true journey and meaning. W e need the patience to stay with it, being prepared to let g o and not try to possess or keep control. Jung said, ' W h e n an Ego-position fades, the S e l f is born a little m o r e . ' In the child, and also in the life o f the e g o , the Self is largely unconscious. Maturity is about b e c o m i n g m o r e awake, m o r e porous, re-opening the threshold and allowing it to b e less opaque again. In c h i l d h o o d , the Self gives birth to the ego: in maturity, the e g o gives birth to the Self. Even though the climacteric can, and often does, feel like loss, it can be a m o v e to 'wizening' - or 'wisening' - for both men and w o m e n . T h e loss o f youth, energy and sexual identity make us feel we're n o longer masters in o w n house. Dreams o f burglars, intruders, death motifs may bring a subtle change o f viewpoint, o f values, which seems antagonistic from the ego's viewpoint. But the dreams often reveal that what seems loss is also a gain. A w o m a n o f sixty dreamt: M y h o m e has been ransacked; most o f m y valuables are gone. I have t o m o v e on: but at least I have m y many books and all m y clothes and furniture. I try to ram these into boxes and suitcases, but it's impossible. I ' m crying with frustration. T h e n , s o m e o n e quietly hands m e a b o x o f matches! O f course that's the solution! T h e r e ' s also a need, at maturity, to bring the opposites together, away from 'eithero r ' to ' b o t h - a n d ' . T h e polarities o f b o d y and spirit, S o m a and Psyche, need to unify, to marry. T h i s raises profound issues. W h a t about reincarnation? Can Matter be transsubstantiated to Spirit, as in the Mass? D o e s Spirit descend to matter? Can the B o d y b e c o m e a gateway to the Spirit; as it was, at birth, a gateway o f the Spirit into the flesh? T h e B o d y , with its dreams as well as its s y m p t o m s , enters in here. A n d n o w o u r ' h o m e ' , the ground o f our being, begins to form under our feet. W e realize that to be in the N o w , linked to the Past and to the Future, is Eternity. ' W e still feel pain, but it doesn't hurt so m u c h . ' H u m o u r gives us a sense o f proportion and perspective. Traditionally, the 'elder' was the guardian and repository o f the c o n nective thread, holding it and 'spinning the yarn' to help make the transition from o n e world to the next. T h o s e w h o seriously address death can take life m o r e gratefully and joyously. T h i s is where dreams o f wholeness increasingly c o m e in. A w o m a n o f fortyfive dreamt:

D R E A M I N G I N D E P T H 173 I am baking a cake. A l l the ingredients are prepared. I only have to mix them and stir t h e m in a circular b o w l . T h e o v e n heat is just right for baking. S o m e o f the best aids to keeping o p e n the dialogue between the Inner and the Outer are arts, crafts, storytelling, song, poetry, therapy, meditation. Also, aware living; dreamwork; active imagination. A man o f fifty six: A

h u g e jigsaw puzzle is nearly c o m p l e t e d . It shows a square castle with four

entrances over a moat. M a n y o f us, b o t h m e n and w o m e n , are working o n it. O n e piece is missing. T h e y turn to m e : it seems I have it in m y pocket. H o w can this be? I fumble about, feeling embarrassed b y their expectation. But there it is, in m y pocket. I click it into place, so locking the whole puzzle. H o w extraordinary! H e r e ' s the dream o f a w o m a n o f forty-six. T h e actual context: Τ have three brothers, and w e all had trees planted for us at birth. T h e y always teased m e , calling m y tree "the crab a p p l e " . ' In the dream: I g o to the orchard at night. M y brothers' trees l o o m dark and tall. I feel sad for m y tree, and turn towards it. It is aglow with light, and I see that the full m o o n is hanging in its branches like an apple. I wake, crying with joy. S u c h are dreams o f W h o l e n e s s .

Ageing, dying, death, rebirth BS: B y n o w w e have c o m e full circle. T h e Inner and the Outer are turned, and we are c o m i n g h o m e . O u r d y i n g , o r our dream deaths, mean that we must readdress the threshold, and the 'guardians'. W e have to prepare, packing for the journey. C o u l d it be that w e are magnetically drawn b y the Self? D o e s the Self c o m e seeking? Initiatory dreams c o m e at any stage in life; what follows applies to thresholds o f death and rebirth in earlier ego-life, as well as to o l d age. L e t ' s look at s o m e o f the motifs o f ageing. P e o p l e have spoken o f increased anxiety dreams, 'nightmares', as they are separated from the hold o f the e g o . D r e a m s o f loss and invasion can c o m e , especially if o n e is afraid o f death and life. T h e values o f this world are being e r o d e d and dissolved, and this often raises fear and disorientation, which can b e added to from outside as physical ageing advances. J u n g (1995, p . 337) said: Death is an important interest, especially to an ageing person. A categorical question is being put to h i m , and he is under an obligation to answer it. To this end he ought to have a myth about d e a t h , for reason shows h i m nothing but the dark pit into w h i c h he is descending. M y t h , however, can conjure up other images for h i m , helpful and enriching pictures of life in the land of the dead. If he believes in t h e m , or greets t h e m with some measure of credence, he is being just as right or just as w r o n g as someone w h o does not believe in t h e m . But while the m a n w h o despairs marches towards nothingness, the one w h o has placed his faith in the archetype follows the tracks of life and lives right into his d e a t h . Both, to be sure, remain in uncertainty, but the one lives against his instincts, the other w i t h t h e m . A n o l d Z u l u w o m a n held her palm turned upward and said, ' T h a t ' s h o w we live.' She

then turned her hand palm d o w n w a r d : ' T h a t ' s h o w the ancestors live.' In general,

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the dreams tend to b e less personal and m o r e transpersonal, m o r e collective and archetypal, as w e approach the threshold o f the invisible world. A t this stage, motifs for life and death appear as processes, stages, passages. Actual death rarely c o m e s as death itself, but as a G a m e or a D a n c e . Life is presented as a play, as theatre, as a journey, a road, the W a y . Images c o m e o f crossing water - perhaps the river, perhaps the Great Ocean -

b y a bridge, a ford, a boat, a barge, a raft. T h e r e may b e alchemical

transformations. Ladders and staircases often spiral up and d o w n . W e dream o f changing trains, vehicle, direction. T h e r e are ritual enactments, initiation rites, dreams o f 'embarking'. T h i s next dream was reported b y D r Jay D u n n o f a patient, and cited b y M a r i e L o u i s e v o n Franz: She sees a candle lit o n the w i n d o w sill o f the hospital r o o m . It suddenly goes out. Fear and anxiety ensue as the darkness envelops her. T h e n , the candle re-lights o n the other side o f the w i n d o w and she awakens. She died the same day. My

stepfather dreamed this after four and a half years o f cancer, aged eighty-four.

H e did tapestry as an amateur: I am in a large hall, like a jumble sale place. N o t h i n g attracts m e , except an easel with an o l d tapestry - stained, worn and faded. A s I ' m squinting to see the picture, a 'person o f light', probably female, says to m e , ' W e ' d like y o u to repair this'. She takes m e round to the back o f the easel. I see broken threads. She gives m e a needle with s o m e black thread and I weave in the ragged ends, all the time telling her I ' m not an expert and d o n ' t really k n o w what I ' m doing. She puts a finger on m y lips, smiles, leads m e to the front o f the easel, and points. T h e tapestry is stunning, radiant and - I just can't tell you

[tears] - so - stunning . . . T w e n t y - f o u r hours later he went into a c o m a , and died peacefully three days

later. All in all, w e need to realize that the deaths w e die, the sleeps w e sleep, the dreams we dream, are rehearsals for the threshold. W e g o b y individual ways to the O n e . In dying, w e may only step outside the 'event h o r i z o n ' o f the living, but still exist in an observable state. Jung (1995, p . 18) again: Life has always seemed to me like a plant that lives on its rhizome. Its true life is invisible, hidden in the rhizome. The part that appears above ground lasts only a single summer. Then it withers a w a y - an ephemeral apparition. W h e n w e think of the unending growth and decay of life and civilizations, w e cannot escape the impression of absolute nullity. Yet I have never lost a sense of something that lives and endures beneath the eternal flux.

BIG EM:

DREAMS

L e t ' s look, finally, at Big Dreams.

BS: W e l l , I suppose the Big D r e a m is bigger than the person dreaming it! T h i s m a p is about the dream that c o m e s from the Collective and Supra-conscious level [Figure 3 ] and partakes o f the multidimensional universe. It isn't simply an individual human

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experience - or if it is, it's for all humanity. T h e r e are times in many p e o p l e ' s lives when a dream o f that nature c o m e s to, and through, them with a particular resonance. T h e y k n o w it has impact; if they could analyse it, or immediately access it fully, then it w o u l d n ' t b e a B i g D r e a m . It carries a resonance over and b e y o n d . It w o u l d have been a tribal dream in the past, dreamed b y Shamans, Seers, Dreamers, people trained to have dreams; a dream for the tribe, for the nation, for something m u c h bigger. A s therapist, I'd b e profoundly c o n c e r n e d for s o m e b o d y w h o came with an influx o f dreams o f that nature. It c o u l d b e an inundation from the unconscious which their personality is not able to contain; too m u c h o f it c o u l d lead to a cracking o p e n . E M : T o psychotic episodes? B S : Y e s . T h e boundaries o f their personality are far t o o p o r o u s , and they're beginning to perceive that. I w o u l d not work with such dreams immediately, but w o u l d begin to ground and anchor the person, bringing them d o w n to the here-and-now, the practical reality o f the everyday. But the fact remains that quite a few p e o p l e will have a dream which leaves them with a p r o f o u n d sense o f something other. Something has happened to them; it has a sense o f ' o t h e r n e s s ' , o f the numinous. It often brings them to a state o f s o m e humility; they d o n ' t rush into it. A s therapist I too w o u l d treat it with respect and humility, not assuming w e had to start pulling it apart and exploring every part o f it. E M : W o u l d it b e a transpersonal dream? B S : It is what I w o u l d call a transpersonal dream, yes. F o r m e , the

'transpersonal'

means all that is personal, emerging from the multidimensional realm o f which we're all part, and yet also going b e y o n d it. T o an extent, that Plague dream was a Big D r e a m ; it certainly had a big impact. Black Elk, in the b o o k Black Elk Speaks, spoke o f the dreams he had o f the tribal rings, which were about his nation's future as well as about himself as a y o u n g man. H e was speaking for something m u c h bigger. A w o m a n o f fifty-four dreamt this: I ' m o n a raft in a dark, heavy sea, with six or eight others. I appear to b e in charge. I seem not to have anything aboard, but realize we'll sink if w e d o n ' t jettison all their belongings. H o w am I to tell them? I ' m in deep distress, knowing h o w m u c h they've already been through. A t last I manage to say: ' W e must let everything g o if we are to survive.' T o m y surprise, they give a cheer, and delightedly toss everything they possess o f f the raft. O n e o f them says, ' T h e r e ' s o n e m o r e thing that needs to g o ' , and throws over into the water a birdcage - and inside is a canary, joyously singing its little heart out as it b o u n c e s o n towards what I can n o w see is approaching land. I s o b with gratitude and love for these friends w h o turn pain into celebration. O n e o f them says, 'It was only painful to y o u when y o u thought y o u were the captain o f this raft!' T h e r e in the raft the dreamer had felt so m o v e d , so touched b y their laughter, b y their willingness to let g o , that she realized even then that it was a big statement to herself o f her o w n need to let g o and not b e in charge. W i t h that feeling she began to cry; and they said, ' W e ' r e part o f you, and we will take y o u through; just leave yourself in our hands.'

176 BARBARA SOMERS WITH ELIZABETH WILDE MCCORMICK She took the dream forward from that in Active imagination. T h e raft became a Death Raft o n which, knowing she was dead, she was being transported over the dark waters towards new land. In the dream, she went through the hands o f the embalmer, was placed in a sarcophagus, carried across to the U n d e r w o r l d for the measuring o f souls, and m o v e d towards resurrection. H e r life was transformed through the depth o f meaning o f that single dream. She was engaged and enchanted b y the readiness o f parts o f her nature - other than her controlling mind - to let g o . She felt the canary was her soul, singing away there in h o p e that o n e day, out o f this dark sea, there would b e landfall. It helped to feed her. She's n o w creating pots, breathing spirit into new containers o f life and energy. In her external life she has c o m e through the passage out o f profound mourning and grief. A n d she has b e c o m e a therapist herself: feeling n o w that each human being is a living container, she wants to help them to breathe t o o , and their spirit to emerge. I would call that a Big D r e a m . It has all the motifs o f deeper things: the dark sea; the crossing o f the water; the m o v e m e n t through the death-process; the embalming; the sarcophagus, the time o f waiting for the renewal o f life, and the breathing again. It has all o f the fertility rites o f Egypt. But the important thing is it didn't stay at dream level; she had the courage to re-translate it, to understand it, to draw it, to paint it, to remember it into her everyday life, until it transformed the living substance o f her life. It has enlarged her usefulness in the world, given her h o p e , and taken her from death to resurrection.

REFERENCES Tsu, Chuang (1974). Inner Chapters. A new translation by Gia-Fu Feng and Jane English. London: Wildwood House. Jung, C. G. (1995, first published 1963) Memories, Dreams, Reflections. London: Fontana. Neihardt, J. G. (1932) Black Elk Speaks. New York: Morrow. Wickes, F. (1977, first published 1927). The Inner World of Childhood. London: Coventure.

CHAPTER 9

Naked Presence Nigel Wellings

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious. (C.

G.Jung)

Editor's note: This chapter beautifully illustrates the influences of Buddhism and European and American approaches to transpersonal psychology upon the practice of transpersonal psychotherapy. It challenges every reader, whatever their background in psychological or philosophical thinking, to extend their understanding of authentic spiritual experience by knowing it from the inside. Nigel Wellings writes with devastating clarity about the many confusions that arise when trying to formulate transpersonal experience into words, and he explores them thoroughly here. His chapter demands that we are mindful of, and in constant relationship with, the seductions offered by a collapsing back into prereflective consciousness, rather than the moment-to-moment raw experience of the now, as a preparation for stepping back beyond duality. He describes the technical methods that transpersonal psychotherapy uses to diminish the gap between experience and reflective observation, such as spot imaging and focusing, and tells us why they are important. Then he moves on to spiritual practice itself, describing and analysing the stages of witnessing, bare attention and mindfulness as the bridge which, because of its nature of unconditional presence, is truly transpersonal. E.M.W.

A

n Indian w i s d o m story goes like this: A group o f blind men came u p o n an Elephant and as each clasped the beast they shouted out their findings. O n e said 'It is like a great twisting snake', the next said, 'It is like the trees o f the forest', and the third, 'It is round like a huge d r u m ' . A s a blind man w h o also knows this story I am aware this is a contentious chapter that could b e written b y any number o f people and each time would c o m e out differently. T h e problem is that Transpersonal Psychology is not a religion with an agreed canon o f beliefs but rather many ideas in a melting pot m o v i n g together and creating and recreating different understandings. Certainly there are shared views, many o f these will have emerged in the proceeding chapters, but there are also areas that engender hot debate and certainly when we talk o f the relationship between Transpersonal P s y c h o l o g y and spirituality we enter such an area. In this chapter I am simply going to stick with m y part o f the Elephant and share what has interested and influenced m e as a psychotherapist w h o also feels that meditation and contemplation have a central place in the deepest experience o f healing. In practice this will mean spending time with C . G . Jung and B u d d h i s m (though not so visible, a primary source), as well as others w h o have had a very large influence on

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the form o f transpersonal psychology taught in England at the Centre for T r a n s personal Psychology. W e will also extensively visit Transpersonal Psychology in America.

T H E ANCESTORS, FREUD A N D JUNG Traditionally psychoanalysis has been dismissive o f experiences in people's lives that they themselves would call 'spiritual'. Freud suggested (1930) that the yearning w e feel for spiritual experience is a regressive yearning in disguise for the earliest oceanic bliss o f symbiosis with mother. T h e existence o f religion (1927) was also seen as a need for a father w h o would provide lifelong protection against existential vulnerability. Jung however, took religious and spiritual experience at face value from the very start o f his professional life. D u r i n g his student days, at the turn o f the nineteenth

century,

hypnotism and spiritualism were enjoying a vogue, and Jung, sensitive to the times, shared in this. Later, after his break with Freud and psychoanalysis, following his dreams, he became interested

in m y t h o l o g y , Gnosticism and A l c h e m y ,

writing

extensively o n these subjects as well as o n Christianity, Hinduism, B u d d h i s m and T o a i s m (CW vols 5, 11, 12, 13, 14). Indeed it is largely due to Jung that these subjects remained the legitimate concern o f (analytical) psychology and have found their renaissance at the end o f the twentieth century. H o w e v e r , despite Jung's and Jungian acceptance o f numinous or spiritual experience as a legitimate expression o f the archetype o f the Self, there still remains, with some Jungians, a prejudice against 'Westerners' actually practising religious and spiritual systems o f meditation and contemplation that c o m e from Asian traditions. T h i s is because Jung felt that although these systems were rich in archetypal study they were not psychologically appropriate for European minds, deeply saturated, as they are, in G r e c o / J u d a i c myth. Exactly w h y is unclear unless w e consider that they never really gripped Jung in the way his beloved A l c h e m y did. N o w , nearly fifty years since Psychology and Religion, a period in which we have seen a migration into the west o f teachers from many o f the schools o f B u d d h i s m and H i n d u i s m , it is not enough to make sweeping generalizations, we n o w understand

m u c h m o r e , both the exact

experiences o f Westerners successfully practising these traditions and the p s y c h o p a thologies that can and d o occur when they are practised badly. W e also k n o w that while inter-cultural comparisons are valuable, it is not possible to understand something truly alien b y attempting to find its equivalent within o n e ' s o w n traditions. T h u s , even though Jung has provided the major and most viable o f the transpersonal psychologies, he and many other early twentieth century investigators and propagator's o f 'Eastern teachings', are n o w seen to b e principally valuable for their introduction o f entirely n e w material rather than for their accurate understanding o f it. A greater understanding is only achieved b y fully entering the other and knowing it from the inside. H o w e v e r , the propensity for m u d d l e and misunderstanding continues. Before w e explore further it may b e useful to consider s o m e o f the confusions that can arise in and around our understanding o f 'transpersonal' and h o w these may affect our practice o f psychotherapy and spirituality.

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T R A N S P E R S O N A L A N D T H E PROPENSITY F O R SELF DELUSION A n area o f confusion arises, unconsciously, when the transpersonal is naively understood as an ill-defined divine psychological force that has a conscious intention that c o m m u n i c a t e s itself through dreams, synchronicities and the circumstances o f our lives. W h i l e this is very close to the Jungian understanding o f the relationship o f the ego to the Self it is also in danger o f distortions that W i l b e r (1995) has s o m e harsh w o r d s o n . W i l b e r distinguishes between pre-rational (infantile) and trans-rational (transpersonal) states o f awareness. T h e essential idea is that since pre-rational and trans-rational experiences are b o t h non-rational they may b e easily confused. T h i s is called the ' p r e / t r a n s fallacy'. In this, early infantile feelings and needs are not distinguished from legitimate transpersonal o r 'spiritual' experiences. Examples o f this are found in the work o f F r e u d and Jung. W h i l e Freud interpreted trans-rational experiences as a yearning for infantile regression and so saw the tran-rational as p r e rational, Jung idealized infantile undifferentiated consciousness as a precursor to mystical states o f union and so confused the pre-rational with the trans-rational. T h u s F r e u d fell into the reductionist position and Jung the elevationist position. W i l b e r says (1998, p . 9 0 ) , For most of our modern era . . . t h e reductionist stance has prevailed - all spiritual experiences, . . . w e r e simply interpreted as regressions to primitive a n d infantile modes of thought. However, as if in over-reaction to all that, w e are now and have been since the sixties, in the throes of various forms of elevationism (exemplified by, but by no means confined to, the N e w Age movement). All sorts of endeavours, of no matter w h a t origin or of w h a t authenticity, are simply elevated to transrational a n d spiritual glory, and t h e only qualification for this wonderful promotion is that the endeavour be non-rational.

Anything rational is wrong; anything non-rational is spiritual.

A s is evident from this, transpersonal p s y c h o l o g y can b e most in danger o f the Jungian and N e w A g e mistake. H o w e v e r , to be fair to Jung (1963, p . 179), he does emphasize that in dealings with the mercurial and tricksterish nature o f the u n c o n scious it is important that the e g o , as our conscious differentiating and rational self, b e the final arbiter. H e r e is an important basic truth. In all spiritual traditions, along with m e t h o d s o f spiritual d e v e l o p m e n t there has simultaneously developed a process o f highly rational and critical questioning and testing o f beliefs and altered states o f consciousness. A d e p t s over the many years have realized that the path b e y o n d the rational, into 'spiritual experience', is littered with delusions that the naive and sentimental will always fall into. T h i s is because, as with all other areas o f o u r lives, it is very difficult not to simply colour our experience with unconscious c o m p l e x e s that distort perception with the defences that the e g o has developed along its path o f individuation. T h u s , for example, the frail e g o that desperately needs to feel important, (and safe), will t o o easily interpret feelings o f grandiose union with the universe (while avoiding individual people) as a spiritual event when it is really n o m o r e than a defence against the danger and pain o f intimacy. W e l w o o d o n this,

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NIGEL WELLINGS It is certainly true that many people take refuge in meditation or spiritual groups as a w a y of escaping from the normal developmental tasks of growing up. A certain kind of self-deception is c o m m o n a m o n g such persons: exposure to the great ideas of the spiritual traditions may cause t h e m to imagine themselves to be more detached and enlightened than they actually are. They may become inflated and carried a w a y with themselves, or else emotionally flat, lacking colour or personal w a r m t h . (Welwood 1 9 8 3 , p. 5 1 ) .

O u r propensity to fool ourselves with a fantasy o f spiritual development hiding the m o r e mundane reality o f just acting out our c o m p l e x e s was o n c e powerfully brought h o m e to m e during a meditation retreat. After several days I was in great mental distress from uncontrollable agitation that made concentration very difficult. In m y m i n d I comforted myself with the thought that when the practice begins to work it brings u p energetic disturbances. T h u s m y

fidgeting

became a sign o f spiritual

progress! T h a t night I dreamt that m y Buddhist teacher entered m y r o o m and brought me sharply back to reality b y saying that it was not a sign o f the practice working but simply m y o w n mental chatter. The

problem o f misinterpretation o f experience is very real. Dreams, o m e n s and

signs are notoriously difficult to understand and the instant understanding is probably the most susceptible to self delusion. T o the contrary, there is a great need to pause, consider, stay with and entertain uncertainty. It is because o f this that it is virtually essential to have another person w h o is outside o f our c o m p l e x e s help in the interpretation o f our dreams and other unconscious phenomena. W i t h another, w h o is not blind in the same way, it may be possible to see around the rim o f light the e g o casts and peer dimly into the shadow. H o w e v e r even this has limitations and participation in a dream sharing group will show the alarming (and rewarding) truth that n o single interpretation or interpreter ever sees the whole. A s we return again and again to the symbols new meaning unfolds. F o r this reason Jung was able to speak at the end o f his long life o f dreams he had had as a b o y and still find in them n e w insights o f value. Perhaps had he simply grabbed at the first easy understanding, that had confirmed the unconscious needs o f his e g o , this rich feast o f gradually unfolding significance w o u l d have been lost. A s it was, he described a way that at least tries to balance the imaginai and the rational so that neither should rule and in so d o i n g harm the process. To

the rational safeguards o f considered slow appraisal and the dialogue with

another w h o is outside o f us we may also add a third that is connected to the sensation function, the function opposite to intuition. Jeffrey A . Raff (1997), offers the idea o f the 'Felt Vision' which effectively described the experience o f vision accompanied b y (often acute) sensations in the b o d y . F o l l o w i n g conventional Jungian understanding Raff says that an archetype functioning destructively within the unconscious, (because it is frustrated), may be turned to creative use o n c e the e g o connects with it, that is, gives it personal expression. W h e n this occurs there is frequently a corresponding bodily experience that mirrors the psychological shift. Indeed this 'felt vision' may be m o r e sensate then visual. Furthermore it is the presence of the physical sensation that is the guarantee of the authenticity of the vision. In effect what is being said is that while it is easy to imagine great transformations, only when it registers o n a bodily level will it b e real. H e says (1997, p . 89):

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T h e hallmark of a felt vision is creation and transformation. Knowing this permits one to evaluate one's o w n experience as well as another's to determine if indeed it is a felt vision. Is the experience transformative? H a s one changed as a result of it? N o matter how small a felt vision m a y s e e m , if it is genuine, one has changed. T h e greater the experience the more profound the change. As one gains experience, one can ask whether the other [the archetype/shamanic ally] has changed as well. H a s m y ally changed in some way? Is the archetypal figure I have encountered different? In the felt vision the seer is transformed while transforming the seen. T h i s powerful notion o f the reciprocity o f the e g o and archetype b o t h , reflected in the mirror o f the b o d y , touching and effecting transformation in each other, connects with the idea o f the 'felt sense' that w e will extensively visit later. T h i s indicates that the reality o f experience is confirmed and consolidated when it is felt in the b o d y as well as the thoughts, emotions or fantasies. I f w e are not to delude ourselves b y mistaking wishful fantasy for a real opening b e y o n d the limits o f ourselves, a transpersonal experience, this final confirmation is almost unarguable when used alongside careful thought and the A r c h i m e d e a n point o f another. Y e t almost can never b e perfect!

TRANSPERSONAL A N D T H E FEMININE PRINCIPLE The

term 'transpersonal' has c o m e to b e associated with values such as compassion,

generosity, n o n - j u d g e m e n t , honouring and caring. W i t h methods that rely heavily o n creativity, visualization, active imagination, dreaming and the arts. In the language o f Jungian t y p o l o g y its superior functions are intuition and feeling while its less develo p e d functions are thinking and sensation. T h e archetypes that most inform it are the Self and the anima, particularly as the Great M o t h e r . T h e Self because o f the concern with wholeness, balance and meaning. T h e anima because o f the appreciation and preference for imagination, fantasy, intuition, and diffuse consciousness. A n d the Great M o t h e r because o f her omnipresent bounty and nurture, qualities frequently linked with the transpersonal. (Often conveniently forgetting her ravenous shadow.) Qualities that lie in the shadow o f either o f these typological positions or outside o f these archetypes have been seen as s o m e h o w 'non-transpersonal'. T h e s e w o u l d include many qualities that have traditionally been ascribed to the masculine principle and the H e r o , notably, focused consciousness, analytical thinking, a preference for sequential, hierarchical structures and a valuing o f empirical and sensate fact. H o w e v e r while the idea o f the transpersonal is naturally a s y n o n y m for the Self, it w o u l d b e very limiting and distorting to also associate it exclusively with the feminine principle at the expense o f the masculine. T h u s i f the transpersonal is an image o f wholeness, it must include and c o m b i n e both the qualities o f the masculine and feminine principles; mother and hero, focused consciousness and the imagination, facts and fantasy, separation and relation, thinking and feeling, intellect and the heart. W h i l e this is o b v i o u s o n c e stated, because o f the imbalance within our society and the compensatory culture around transpersonal p s y c h o l o g y , the unconscious inclination is to emphasize and concentrate on the feminine qualities and so lose the balance necessary for realizing the archetypal propensity for wholeness where b o t h are equal and in equilibrium. T o b e w h o l e , transpersonal p s y c h o l o g y needs its phallus.

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NIGEL WELLINGS TRANSPERSONAL, PARENTS A N D HOME

A third area o f confusion occurs around the projection o f the parental images. Perhaps because transpersonal psychology in England has drawn heavily o n Jungian p s y c h o l o g y which in turn draws from Romanticisim and Christianity, there is a possibility that G o d , a benevolent, protective and nurturing force, unconsciously conceived or felt as a celestial parent, b e c o m e s transferred into the notion o f ' T h e Transpersonal' as a g o o d father or ( m o r e likely) mother. W h e n this occurs we form a relationship to our fantasy o f the transpersonal that in effect compensates for early traumatic experiences o f parental absence or maltreatment. Here the transpersonal is experienced as loving, caring, guiding, all knowing, wise, having our best interests at heart and we as lost unless we can identify and c o m e into harmony with what is required o f us. W e may feel we have c o m e h o m e . I believe it was this that Freud observed and named as a regressive tendency while failing to realize that something real existed b e y o n d the neurotic. Here the child archetype is heavily in evidence when we live in an emotional world that revolves around the belief that if we get it right we will arrive at a safe (omnipotent) place. A typical belief in this category is that psychological work will stave off accidents and physical illness, a belief that has little evidence in reality. W h i l e this emphasizes the truth that psyche and soma affect each other it ignores the equal truth that conscious people and great spiritual teachers all die o f physical ailments. H o w e v e r , because we can not exclude the dark side o f either the parental archetypes or the archetype o f the child, there c o m e s a time when the parent or childish emotional needs are rebelled against b y the individuating e g o . I f transpersonal p s y c h o l o g y is unconsciously identified as a parent, holding the parental projection, this will be experienced as stifling and will have to b e rejected so we can grow b e y o n d ourselves and it. W h i l e I understand this from comparable firsthand experience, to throw the baby o f transpersonal p s y c h o l o g y out with the water o f outgrown projection, still seems a great pity. It would b e m u c h better to withdraw the projection and continue the relationship on a more mature level. O f course this process is not unique to transpersonal p s y c h o l o g y , any organization or person, secular or religious, may hold child/parent projections which will finally need to be withdrawn.

PSYCHOTHERAPY A N D SPIRITUALITY Transpersonal psychology both accepts the reality o f altered states o f consciousness, including and particularly, 'spiritual' experiences, and also encourages participation in practices, such as meditation, to gain a deeper understanding o f our nature and our place in the world. T h i s is not to say that psychotherapy and spirituality are the same nor that their techniques or methods p r o d u c e the same results. John W e l w o o d (1983) has suggested three ways in which psychotherapy and meditation differ. T h e first concerns expanding or letting go of identity. Psychotherapy works within a m o d e l o f identity development, within this m o d e l suffering is conceived as a failure to achieve stage appropriate qualities, for instance, initially, a separate identity and then an ability to properly relate. Here, healing is a mixture o f adapting to

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the limits o f reality while realizing as m u c h o f o n e ' s potential as is possible. Conversely the practice o f meditation assumes a healthy self and then proceeds to the profound understanding

o f this self which involves letting g o o f fixed patterns o f identity.

Suffering is the ignorance o f being trapped within the desires that the separate identity generates. Healing b e c o m e s liberation b y the realization or inhabitation o f non-dual consciousness. T h e s e c o n d difference is the building and dissolving of meaning structures. In p s y c h o therapy w e constantly m o v e towards understanding our lives in a meaningful way. It is n o exaggeration to say that the difference between a devastatingly painful experience destroying or enriching us is mainly found in whether w e have managed to find a positive, creative meaning within it. B y an o n g o i n g process o f identifying meaning w e build a sense o f self m o v i n g through the world in a purposeful way that has individual significance. Against this meditational practice and theory is absolutely disinterested in meaning because meaning is viewed as a way in which the e g o maintains the fiction that it is a separate and self existing entity. F r o m the perspective o f meditation practice, experiences o f meaningfulness and meaninglessness are identical: both rest o n the illusion o f a self going somewhere. T h i s links to the last difference, goal orientation and letting be. Psychotherapy always has a goal even if it is only to finally stop. Apart from this we speak o f therapeutic objectives, working through, growth and transformation. All o f these perceptions are based o n m o v i n g from a less to a m o r e desirable state. Against this meditation must b e goalless, it has to truly b e a meaning-free activity that goes nowhere. If it is not it may b e c o m e an extension o f the e g o ' s need to make everything into an extension o f itself and thus, rather then dissolving its separation, secretly strengthen it. T h e r e are also s o m e shared areas. In the same paper W e i w o o d identifies the quality o f maitriy or unconditional friendliness. In transpersonal psychology w e link this to the compassionate observer. In practice this is the essential ability to not judge o n e ' s ideas, feelings and actions, particularly when they first b e c o m e conscious, but rather let them be with a kindly acceptance that does not make us w r o n g for having them. W i t h o u t this gentle acceptance it is impossible to let ourselves c o m e out o f hiding and so begin to learn something o f w h o we are. Frequently I have observed that w e have t w o levels o f emotion. T h e first is a critical, self destructive ' v o i c e ' that persecutes us for feeling as we d o , and beneath this is the m o r e fundamental emotion. F o r instance, Ί feel bad for being so angry'. Unless o n e can let g o o f the the s u p e r - e g o / j u d g e it will be impossible to explore the m o r e primitive and energetic primary e m o t i o n . Mai tri then, is the unconditional friendliness that we extend to ourselves during the explorations o f therapy and also as w e sit in meditational practice. It is not to be confused with a defensive separation from o n e ' s feelings b y observing them from a disconnected distance. M a i tri in therapy provides the necessary safety o f the vessel o f transformation, and in meditation it is the gentle letting b e o f all thoughts and feelings as they rise, continue and dissolve in consciousness. A second shared area revolves around the similarity o f relationship between the therapist and patient and the master (or teacher), and student. T h e activities o f the earliest healers and holders o f tribal m e m o r y and w i s d o m have devolved into the specialist activities o f doctors (therapists) and priests. Because o f this long experience

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NIGEL WELLINGS can speak o f the archetype o f the priest/healer and also its close relative, the

w o u n d e d healer. A s with all archetypal experience, there is a certain m i x e d blessing. On

o n e hand the p o w e r o f the archetype can add to the therapist's skill and so

constellate greater healing, however against this is also the real possibility o f the therapist b e c o m i n g identified with and thus inflated b y the archetype and so c o m e to consider themselves the source o f the healing rather than simply its witness. T h o s e o f us w h o bear the w o u n d s o f a frail e g o that is easily overwhelmed b y archetypal identification or w h o are narcissistically w o u n d e d and so susceptible to the need for grandiose self expression, will b e in danger. H e r e , identified with the priest healer we may feel that our duties include b e c o m i n g spiritual guide, meditation teacher and guru, the p s y c h o p o m p itself. Likewise, inflation from identification with the w o u n d e d healer may

cause us to the split the archetype (Guggenbuhl-Craig 1971), retaining being the

'healed' o n e and so feed u p o n those w h o are ' w o u n d e d ' . N o w that the roles o f priest and healer have separated w e , as therapists, are thankfully not responsible for the care o f our patient's immortal soul, w e are just therapists not shamans, yet to entirely ignore the place o f the transpersonal is not our way either. H o w then d o we get the balance right? Should w e ever teach 'spirituality' in therapy? W e l w o o d , as psychotherapist and meditation teacher, thinks on the whole not because: A teacher in one of the meditative traditions, has typically undergone lengthy, intensive training and discipline, and has been allowed to teach by one of his o w n teachers, w h o has carefully tested his realisation. A psychotherapist w h o has not had such a training or testing could run the danger of confusing the t w o roles and become inflated by pretensions to a level of spiritual understanding and authority he may not genuinely process. ( W e l w o o d 1 9 8 3 , p. 5 3 ) T o this I w o u l d add that the internal dynamics o f the t w o relationships are fundamentally different, the o n e providing a vessel for, if necessary, infantile acting out, while the second requires the presence o f t w o adults at all times for it to work best. In therapy, while it may be appropriate to introduce information about meditation, to discuss experiences that c o m e from its practice and to use techniques that approach similar states o f consciousness (see Unconditional Presence later in chapter), finally it is best to leave psychotherapy to psychotherapists and meditation to meditation teachers. H o w e v e r we can d o something. W h i l e it is unarguably true that a psychotherapy that offers a facsimile o f spirituality may d o m o r e harm than g o o d , it is also true that patients will benefit from the therapist w h o can recognize a legitimate spiritual yearning, w h o has contact with the broader archetypal themes in their o w n life and so can constellate them in another, w h o has access to their o w n spiritual resources and w h o can stand out o f the way o f the natural and spontaneous spiritual unfolding found in s o m e processes. In all o f this the therapist has not b e c o m e identified with the priest and remains the means b y which the patient can discover their o w n way at whichever level they choose. O f course the fantasy that the therapist is neutral in the process is a nonsense. A s w e sit we continuously transmit information about ourselves and our beliefs, not to mention our titles with which w e broadcast to the w o r l d , but if this can b e w o v e n into the fabric o f discovery, giving the patient an edge against which to define themselves, rather than

NAKED PRESENCE 185 an example for them to c o p y , then finally, the presence o f the therapist's personality will aid individuation and d o n o harm. Furthermore, there is a difference between a therapist believing h i m / h e r s e l f to b e a representative o f the tradition with a duty to proselytize and o n e w h o quite simply accepts the reality o f both the life o f the soul and the spirit.

S O U L A N D SPIRIT Firstly let m e say provocatively that I approach this existentially and so believe that these ideas arise from our attempt to understand and organize experience rather than that they represent actual objective entities that would exist whether we named them or not. T h o u g h universally f o u n d , and so archetypal, these notions are not consistent in their detailed content. P e o p l e in different places simply believe different things. Perhaps because o f this, w e find that there are a very large collection o f definitions that cluster under the skirts o f each w o r d . I have found the definitions gathered b y James Hillman (1979) useful and offer them here, not to be accepted as a truth but as both an attempt to articulate psychological reality and as a starting point for further discussion. Hillman defines soul and spirit so. Soul is a place o f dark, dank depths. She is the valley where waters gather and flow making the land fecund and moist. A s w e m o v e along the valley floor it twists and turns and so it is impossible to gain a clear overview o f h o w things lie before us. Because o f this, soul is associated with the complicated and obscure unfolding o f the personal, the individual, the particular and the historical. Its concerns include imagination, fantasy, illusion and mirage. D o w n here is b l o o d and emotion. Soul f o o d , soul land, soul music and soul mates. Jung called this the anima, the feminine soul that also encompasses all these qualities and m o r e besides, and recognized her as that place o f otherness in his o w n depth that when engaged with, paradoxically, enabled him to b e c o m e m o r e himself. Personal experiences in the world, passionate engagement with the experiences o f life, creates soul and soul making is the activity that life excels in. Even places and objects can have soul when in their energies and fabric they retain the record o f inhabitation and use. T h e beautiful patina o f a piece o f furniture polished for hundreds o f years carries all the hands that have loved and cursed it; the intimacy within a m u c h used toy. Personally I believe it is soul that is being acknowledged and named when the w o r d 'transpersonal' is frequently used. S o u l is the animating force within life, creativity, imagination, relationship and also transcendence. All qualities associated with the transpersonal. W h e n we speak o f the transpersonal in this way it is not so m u c h about an experience that takes us outside o f identification with our personalities but rather an experience that enriches and so broadens. A s such it is an e g o expansion, expanded b y soul, but not an e g o dissolution. Spirit, o n the other hand, is associated with high places, the tops or peaks o f mountains. Traditionally this has been the a b o d e o f the G o d s . Shiva and his Shakti o n Kailash, Yahveh o n Sinai, Z e u s and family o n O l y m p u s , to name only the most familiar. Likewise it is to these high places that w e resort when we wish to leave the

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clutter o f the world behind us and approach the divine and transcendent. F r o m this aerial seat we t o o can look out across vast distances where the small and finite things o f the w o r l d melt into insignificance. H e r e we are absorbed in the non-personal, and b y extension, the abstract, the ideal, the objective and the general. Here w e feel c o o l and there are cold considerations. Every thing is refined. O u r personal and individual identities d r o p away and are o f n o significance as d o also the individual concerns o f the world. F o r this reason M a s l o w called transpersonal experiences 'peak experiences' and Jung spoke o f the spirit as animus, the mind o f the masculine that loves logic, reason, fact and abstraction but is also concrete and real. A n d so we have two clusters o f meaning, the first associating spirit with spirituality and the second, extending this, spirit with all that is non-personal and abstract. F r o m this we can see that psychotherapy, concerned as it is with incarnation into the world and a full sense o f self, is a soulful event. Likewise, spiritual practice o r discipline, with its concern o f dissolving the separate self into the ground o f being, is a concern o f the spirit. T o g e t h e r they make a whole. T h e journey into and out o f identification with a separate and personal identity. Another way to look at this, not as a journey o f a lifetime, but as a continuous and o n g o i n g process, is that each requires the other for its balance and completion at any and every point. In this way w e can ask diagnostically whether s o m e o n e has t o o little or t o o m u c h soul or spirit, what side is over balancing and causing the other to be t o o deeply within the shadow.

T H E T R A N S P E R S O N A L A N D T H E SELF T h e transpersonal psychology o f Jung places the Self at the pinnacle o f realization. F o r Jung it is the Self, as the image o f G o d within the psyche, that the ego must c o m e into conscious relationship to. It is the Self, w h o as a divine urge, starts the process o f individual life, a process o f soul making, and which is finally realized as the sum o f all human possibility. It includes the possibility for a single human life to be touched and transformed b y something greater than itself. It is the Self that the e g o must realize encompasses it and it is the Self, that imbuing life with meaning and purpose, makes suffering bearable and a possible experience o f transformation. Experience o f the Self is awesome, terrible, delightful, renewing. It is to bathe and b e made whole again. It is to die and be reborn. It is the inspiration and goal o f all initiation. It is to this Self, projected out, that we pray, and it is in opening to this Self that we are touched b y grace. Finally it is union with this Self that w e all desire and yearn for as w e are captivated b y love, for it is in the inner lover, initially reflected in the outer, that we find our final completion. T h u s all love is finally love o f the Self. T h i s beautiful myth is rooted in and remains very similar to Judao/Christian belief. It is the love affair between the individual soul and G o d , an event in which each c o m e s to know the other better through relationship. W h e n we speak o f T h e Transpersonal, here s y n o n y m o u s with the Self, that is known through the e g o / S e l f dialogue, the o n g o i n g homoeostasis between conscious and unconscious sides o f the personality, we are to all intents echoing the belief that w e may be m o r e fully ourselves b y opening to a greater and wiser p o w e r . In this light w e

NAKED PRESENCE 187 may

speak o f T h e Transpersonal (or the Self), having, perhaps, an overall plan, that is

made apparent through dreams, synchronicities and the ordinary events o f life. In these its primary activity o f m y t h making is found. O u t o f the fabric o f our small lives T h e Transpersonal, as archetype o f meaning, weaves a cloth o f purpose, significance and direction. It creates b o t h an understanding o f h o w w e have c o m e to b e ourselves and also an imagination o f the self w e have yet to b e . T h i s Transpersonal way, a journey o f soul making, carries values that are consistent with Transpersonal qualities. Typically they are thought o f as w i s d o m , light, love and compassion. H o w e v e r , so not to conceive o f T h e Transpersonal, the Self, as having n o shadow, its dark side, when it is perceived as a threat to an over rigid e g o , is terrible in its revolution, bringing destruction and suffering before renewal. B y and large w e refer to this vision o f the transpersonal as a noun, T h e Transpersonal. It is a divine like object to which we are subject. W h e n it is spoken o f and evoked in its o w n language, the poetry o f s y m b o l and metaphor, w e may just feel it whisper o n o u r flesh like a light air, for this was its first k n o w n form, a wind b l o w i n g in the grasses, a spirit in the trees, neuma, breath o f the unseen G o d .

THE

TRANSPERSONAL BANDS A N D T H E TRANSPERSONAL WITNESS

The

very personal feeling for the Self, described above, that metamorphosis into the

The

Transpersonal and the Transpersonal Self, k n o w n through the m e d i u m o f

relationship as the divine force in man and nature, is conceived in many ways quite differently b y transpersonal psychologists in America. D r Stanislav G r o f , o n e o f the progenitors o f Transpersonal P s y c h o l o g y , a pioneer o f early research o n L S D p s y c h o therapy, and then later, the use o f H o l o t r o p i c Breath work, has charted many transpersonal

experiences. O f all these states G r o f says, during a

transpersonal

experience the c o m m o n d e n o m i n a t o r . . . is the feeling of the individual that his consciousness has expanded beyond the usual ego boundaries and limitations of t i m e and space. ( 1 9 6 7 , p. 1 5 4 ) W h a t is important to recognize clearly here is that G r o f is talking about transpersonal experiences that w e may have as an extension o f normal consciousness. H e r e 'transpersonal' is used as an adjective describing those experiences that are felt generally as an expansion b e y o n d self, time and space. B y referring to the 'transpersonal area o f the u n c o n s c i o u s ' and also speaking o f a ' p r o f o u n d transcendental experience o f an ecstatic and integrative nature' he seems to suggest that while transpersonal experiences give access to areas o f the self previously u n k n o w n (unconscious), the final content and o u t c o m e o f that experience is not just fraws-personal but post- or sw/>ra-personal. T h e experience is not only o f going b e y o n d the usual limits o f consciousness but o f individual selfhood finally dissolving. T h u s he appears to create a hierarchy o f experience in which the transpersonal realm expands from being unusual personal experiences to the highest experience o f personal transcendence, a going b e y o n d the personal. N o mention here o f a Transpersonal Self with which we can c o n n e c t and be

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informed by, but rather a more abstract and clinical anatomy o f consciousness. O f the highest realm o f experience he says, The void appears to be emptiness pregnant with form, and the subtle forms of universal mind are experienced as absolutely empty. ( 1 9 6 7 , p. 2 0 5 ) and thereby echoes the ultimate Buddhist realization that is not about relating to a place o f w i s d o m so that our individual journey through the world might be clear, but the Eastern ideal o f finally dissolving all personal identity back into the formless ground from which it appears to emerge. Ken

W i l b e r , an active voice in the exploration o f transpersonal ideas, like Grof,

imagines transpersonal experiences o n a continuum between our usual consciousness and a 'state' he calls ' M i n d ' (Wilber 1975). H e suggests a 'spectrum o f consciousness' where transpersonal experience is placed at a point just short o f a final spiritual realization o f our real nature. In these levels o f consciousness, the 'transpersonal bands', are found between the 'existential level', which I recognize as simply the state o f consciousness most psychologically mature adults exist in, and ' M i n d ' , which is the ground that non-dual consciousness reveals. W i l b e r says M i n d is, our 'innermost' consciousness that is identical to the absolute and ultimate reality of the universe. (Wilber 1 9 7 5 , p. 1 0 6 ) and, Mind is w h a t there is and all there is, spaceless and therefore infinite, timeless and therefore eternal, outside of which nothing exists, (p. 1 0 6 ) And

from M i n d emerges the transpersonal band,

where m a n is not conscious of his identity with the All and yet neither is his identity confined to the boundaries of the individual organism, (p. 1 0 8 ) T h e transpersonal band is practically developed b y a technique o f disidentification with the contents o f the e g o that in turn is a transpersonal experience in itself. W i l b e r suggests t w o levels o f mysticism (1975, p . 123). T h e first he calls lesser mysticism that is very closely linked to the idea o f the compassionate observer that we looked at when considering Maitri, unconditional friendliness. H e says that o n c e we start looking at the previously unconscious patterns that drove us we simultaneously start to be free o f them. T h i s step in consciousness he calls a 'supra-personal or transpersonal witness' that is, observing the flow of w h a t is, without manipulating it. ( 1 9 7 5 , p. 1 2 1 ) A s such it is both an immediately accessible and essentially important transpersonal experience that far outweighs in importance more exotic and sensational experiences. Here

NAKED PRESENCE 189 we should note that 'transpersonal' is n o longer generalized trans-rational experience but m o r e specifically a perspective derived from the technique o f disidentifying with the contents o f consciousness while o n e continues to actively observe them. Transpersonal witnessing is a position of witnessing reality. (Wilber 1 9 7 5 , p. 1 2 4 , italics mine) The

s e c o n d stage he calls true mysticism w h i c h is the experience o f the end o f dualism,

agreeing with G r o f , that b e y o n d transpersonal experiences, or a transpersonal witness, exists something greater w h i c h is not only a final 'level' but also the real ground o n which everything rests. N o t a place where o n e witnesses reality but where o n e is reality. T h e first retains vestigial s u b j e c t / o b j e c t dualism, the second does not. S o , in c o n c l u sion, we have transpersonal

areas o f experience and a transpersonal

position o f

consciousness, the witness, both o f which lead to the M i n d , the ground o f being. T h i s is further found in the work o f Frances Vaughan. Vaughan (1986), freely draws u p o n W i l b e r ' s work and adds a m u c h m o r e personal feel to it. She also sees the area o f the transpersonal as existing somewhere between the usual identification w e all have with our personalities, the e g o and the unconscious forces o f the shadow, and the ' M i n d ' o f W i l b e r ' s c o n c e p t i o n , which she calls the ' A b s o l u t e ' . She sees the 'transpersonal s e l f , as a bridge between these t w o , linking them and p r o v i d i n g a means b y which the energy o f the Absolute may b e c o m e manifest in the personal. She says, T h e transpersonal self thus serves as a bridge between existential self-consciousness and transcendental unitary consciousness where no separate self-sense remains. (Vaughan 1 9 8 6 , p. 44) The

transpersonal self does have specific qualities. As limitless transcendent being, it partakes of infinite wisdom and compassion, understanding, allowing, and forgiving all things, without exception and without reservation. As manifestation of Absolute spirit, it is capable of unconditional love. (p. 4 2 )

Yet strangely this experience, which has drawn the most extreme descriptions o f bliss, love and light, is also said to be 'nothing special'. T o bring this state into being, 'to awaken to the S e l f , it is necessary to disidentify with the contents o f o n e ' s personality and b e c o m e their observer. T h i s is not to repress e m o t i o n and so loose it, but rather to disidentify with it while remaining conscious o f its presence. Vaughan says the: expanded sense of self that results from practising disidentification is appropriately considered transpersonal, rather than impersonal, since it is manifested in and through the personal, and yet transcends it. (p. 4 4 ) T h i s is important because it leads into practices o f F o c u s i n g and mindfulness that we will explore later. H e r e again is the notion o f Maitri, the compassionate observer linked

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with the transpersonal witness, which as a step o f self-reflective consciousness, is a step so profoundly important that it creates the 'transpersonal s e l f , a self that is c o n n e c t e d to the Absolute, and which enables the personal self finally to dissolve into its original pure self-less nature. F r o m small self to transpersonal self to no-self. John Wei w o o d (1977) agrees with a transpersonal level o f consciousness that is wider than the confines o f rational thought, that is brought into being b y the practice o f mindfulness or witnessing, and that gives access to feelings o f w i s d o m , bliss, compassion and equanimity. T h i s transpersonal sphere, or experience, is a: transitional phase between totally open, unconditional awareness and a separate self-sense. (Welwood 1 9 7 7 , p. 1 6 4 ) H e then adds n e w material when he suggests, that if looked at developmentally, it is from this absolute, non-personal state, that the rudimentary sense o f self begins to emerge and that this non-personal state can b e felt, when paying very close attention, as background life, the 'sheer vividness o f being-here'. A n energy that underlies and surrounds the levels o f personal and e g o focused experience. T h i s is an alternative explanation to the m o r e usual theories o f developmental psychology because, while quite similar in its notion o f an undivided consciousness that divides into object relations, unlike them, it starts from the radically different premise that views this division as a kind o f delusionary imagination that obscures the true nature o f consciousness, that is, its ultimate indivisibility. O n l y Jung c o m e s close to this with his notion o f a Self and individuating e g o whose goal is finally to return consciously back to the Self. Finally, W e l w o o d , with W i l b e r and Vaughan, understands the ultimate realization as the experience of: pure, immediate presence before it becomes differentiated into form and subject duality. (Welwood 1 9 7 7 , p. 1 6 6 ) Using Buddhist language he describes this o p e n ground as : 'primordial awareness', Original m i n d ' and ' n o - m i n d ' . And

so w e have t w o quite different ideas that revolve around the understanding o f

the Self or T h e Transpersonal or the transpersonal self. Essentially the first understanding places the Self, (and T h e Transpersonal), as the central force and emphasizes a relationship out o f which meaning evolves and this alleviates suffering. T h e second understanding places a transpersonal self as a state o f consciousness, in the penultimate place to spiritual illumination, yet not identified with the contents that w e recognize as ego.

It b e c o m e s a position o f observation that initiates and facilitates the necessary

abilities to bring about spiritual realization that is identified b y entering non-dual consciousness and it is experience o f this that ends suffering. W i l b e r here is keen not to diminish the notion o f the transpersonal while remaining adamant o n its relative position. H e says, This is not to denigrate the position of the transpersonal self or witness, for not only can it be highly therapeutic in itself, but it can frequently act as a type of springboard to M i n d . Never the less it is not to be confused with Mind itself. ( 1 9 7 5 , p. 1 2 4 ) W h i l e the second position often includes ideas o f archetypes and the collective

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unconscious, all derived from the Jungian theories o f the first, essentially it is not rooted in European thought but that o f the East, particularly, though not exclusively, B u d d h i s m . Because o f this the notions o f the compassionate observer, unconditional friendliness and the transpersonal

witness all link to the most basic yet profound

meditation technique, called in the Buddhist tradition, mindfulness, that in many traditions acts as the foundation o f practice. H o w e v e r , for transpersonal

psycho-

therapists, it is important to realize that both areas o f experience are present and powerful within the individual. Paradoxically, we can and d o simultaneously experience

our

lives as

meaningful

(or meaningless), and

also

derive

a sense o f

meaningfulness from involving ourselves in practices that are designed to question and dissolve the very Self that yearns for and creates meaning. A yearning to dissolve the individual identity at both individual and collective levels, e g o and archetype, small and large self. In m y experience the balance o f these t w o fundamental myths changes over the course o f a lifetime. In the earlier years, while w e are making a place in the world, the first is strongest because it favours individual identity, while later, o n c e the rewards o f this fade, the s e c o n d appears like water in a desert. O f course this is not true for all, but for s o m e , at s o m e point, acceptance o f a world without meaning, not meaningless but meaning free, may b e a relief.

B R I D G I N G T H E W O R L D S IN T H R E E STEPS In this next section, following W e l w o o d ' s ideas closely, we will see h o w a bridge may b e made between psychotherapy and meditation/contemplation, and h o w , though the t w o are quite different and serve different ends, the former may lead into the latter. H e r e w e b o r r o w a basic assumption from B u d d h i s m , that the diagnosis and healing it offers for the cause o f suffering is among the most profound and all pervasive. It observes that ultimately suffering is caused b y attachment to and identification with a separate self in dual consciousness, here called primary dualism, and that this suffering will cease when the separate self recognizes its non-dual nature and ends its primary alienation. Put simply, c o m p l e t e healing is nirvana. T h i s view we will explore as we g o along. W h a t follows is a description o f three levels o f consciousness (although the last may not strictly b e called a level but m o r e accurately 'the g r o u n d ' ) , and h o w each impinges o n the practice o f psychotherapy. But firstly a w o r d o n language. In writing this the w o r d consciousness has d e v e l o p e d a n u m b e r o f different and c o m p l e x meanings. In the first I use it as a s y n o n y m for c o n c e p t s about the fundamental ' s t u f f o f reality, supraconsciousness, in Sanskrit this is 'citta', which translates as ' m i n d ' , in the sense o f B u d d h a or enlightened m i n d , the M i n d W i l b e r refers to above. It is this consciousness that appears to divide when b e c o m i n g identified with the ego. In the second, m o r e usual meaning, I have used the w o r d ' c o n s c i o u s ' as an equivalent to 'being aware' and so have said 'selfconscious' or 'being c o n s c i o u s ' or the opposite, ' u n c o n s c i o u s ' . H e r e c o n sciousness refers to the ego's ability to be self reflective and exercise the very divided consciousness that the first category defines. N e x t c o m e s the technical psychotherapeutic usage o f the ' c o n s c i o u s s e l f , the e g o and the field it exists in, and those

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repressed or undiscovered aspects o f the self, 'the unconscious' or shadow. A n d finally, closely related, I have seized with pleasure o n the w o r d 'presence', a position o f relaxed attention found in mindfulness, but m o r e o f this later!

1. PREREFLECTIVE I D E N T I F I C A T I O N , BEING ASLEEP A s we have seen earlier, the consciousness o f the neonate slowly forms islands o f personal experience that finally coalesce to form a separate e g o . T h e s e

islands

o f experience are made from the interactions between the infant and her physical and emotional environment, the world o f her mother. Each interaction serves to create and establish contents o f consciousness that progressively b e c o m e identified as ' m y s e l f . T h i s identification o f a self is automatic, an archetypal disposition, and requires n o reflection. A s we have also discovered this self gradually effects, through the process o f individuation, a series o f separations, that finally create a conscious independent identity that is alone and therefore capable o f relationship. In practice this appears as the endless communications within the primary carer and baby relationship that later broaden to include others. In this e g o unfolding we virtually see the reversed process o f liberation from dual consciousness. Here undivided consciousness appears to begin division and form a separate identity firstly in the m o m e n t and then through the apparent continuum o f time and space (Donaldson 1992). W i t h each object relation, incarnation b e c o m e s m o r e solid as qualities and attributes that I imagine to b e myself, self-representations, build and multiply. In the language o f myth, this devolution o f consciousness is symbolized as the m o m e n t in which the H i n d u g o d Shiva and his consort, Shakti, step apart from their mutual embrace and regard each other. In this act o f self awareness the world is born. T h i s idea is perhaps also to be found in our o w n creation myth where likewise an act o f self consciousness causes the first c o u p l e to separate from the original perfect state o f the garden. F o r the child, loss o f her Edenic oneness happens slowly and it is only as she approaches and enters adolescence that the mirror o f self reflection is handed over b y others to her so that she may hold it herself. T h i s is the point where self reflection, the facility to be self aware, to stand at a distance and observe objectively, to divide ourselves and the world w e experience, evolves. Paradoxically, it is the work o f psychotherapy to facilitate this process when it b e c o m e s stalled. T h o u g h this is in effect aiding the cementing o f consciousness to the small sphere o f e g o , o f colluding with the illusion that w e are the contents o f our consciousness rather than the consciousness itself, this is absolutely necessary because unless we can d o this first then all else is likely to fail. It is a fact that an e g o that is t o o fragile, that is vulnerable to the inundations o f its repressed shadow contents, will not be able to withstand the tensions o f willingly surrendering itself. O n l y a healthy e g o , grounded in the instinctual, can make the journey o f transmutation. T h u s in therapy we first and foremost assist in the development o f a self and then self awareness. T h o s e w h o c o m e with a weak or fractured identity w e help find a strong individuality and those w h o unconsciously dwell in a state o f unreflective alienation from themselves w e help find the strength to be self reflective.

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Lastly, although I have s h o w n here h o w the state o f prereflective identification fully wakes into divided consciousness, self awareness, at adolescence, it w o u l d b e a mistake to imagine that this awareness continuously persists. A cursory glance at the world will s h o w that for m o s t o f us, continuing in a state o f consciousness that is largely unselfreflective is the n o r m . W h i l e w e retain the ability to look u p o n ourselves as an object, dispassionately, m u c h o f the time this is allowed to slip beneath the waves o f awareness. In its place we continue to allow ourselves to b e defined b y our o w n unconscious c o m p l e x e s , those around us and the forces in the world we inhabit. M a n y o f these influences are not benign; if w e are unaware o f where we really stand and w h o we actually are, w e may b e swept along and join acts o f collective fear that profoundly harm those involved. A s therapists, w h o represent the values o f awareness, we must especially try not to g o to sleep but remain awake to the responsibility o f c o n s c i o u s ness.

2. R E F L E C T I V E A T T E N T I O N , W A K I N G T h i s level is made u p o f t w o steps, the latter o f which represents a diminishing separation

between the observer and the observed that w e described emerging

above.

Conceptual reflection A t the birth o f this ability w e b e c o m e able to step back from ourselves and b e c o m e the object o f our o w n awareness. W e b e c o m e self aware. A s well as having emotions and feelings, w e can also reflectively think about them from a distance and in so d o i n g take the first rudimentary step o f disidentification. Y e t b y this means we repeatedly divide the field o f consciousness into a series o f m e / n o t m e experiences, each with an attached value, that appear to make consciousness, n o w identified with the e g o , stand outside as an observer. T h e s u b j e c t / o b j e c t divide, that starts at birth or perhaps earlier, may be called 'primary dualism': the world o f observer and observed which is created and strengthened b y the e g o ' s ability to distinguish itself from other. T h i s is important. A l t h o u g h divided consciousness is the generator o f e g o (and the associated suffering), it is also a means to start a process o f self-reflection that may finally lead to a return to non-dual consciousness. W e l w o o d quotes the Buddha o n this. D i v i d e d consciousness is like using a thorn to r e m o v e a thorn. In psychotherapy w e h o n e this ability to a finer point. W e take the raw material o f feelings, emotions and fantasy

and reflect u p o n their patterns, significance and

meaning, using the tools o f image, concepts and language. O u r therapeutic means are talking and thinking about feeling and emotion. All psychotherapy essentially complies with this generalization. It matters not whether the work is o f short or long duration, concerned with simply altering behaviour or the far greater achievement o f individuation; in all cases understanding is achieved b y reflection that articulates the prima marteria, the basic stuff, o f the self. Even when, as in the techniques o f transpersonal psychotherapy and others, we utilize the imagination and the image making facilities o f

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the psyche, or shift the attention from content to process, finally, when w e consider where w e have c o m e to, we speak ideas. Furthermore these ideas, conceptual structures that give access to the mystery o f ourselves, may b e entirely personal o r part o f a larger collective belief. T h u s all maps, theories, beliefs and dogmas, whether they b e political, religious or psychological, are attempts to understand experience in m o r e coherent ways. T h i s includes this whole b o o k o n transpersonal psychology. F o r this divided consciousness there is an expensive price to pay. T o understand this we need to first return to our European perception o f the w o u n d . Conventional Western psychotherapeutic understanding sees suffering as an integral part o f being human, from which there is n o escape. Psychopathology is the result o f unconscious attempts to alleviate this natural pain by defence mechanisms that have b e c o m e out o f date and as detrimental as they are helpful. T y p i c a l l y they trap us in ways o f being and feeling that are n o longer appropriate for the stage o f life we are at (see Chapter 4 ' T h e W o u n d ' ) . Psychotherapy seeks to help us face our deep fears and consciously feel them rather than resort to unconscious defences. T h e 'unhealthy suffering' o f neurosis is exchanged for the healthy suffering o f a psychologically mature adult. O f course this is an ideal picture and the reality is that we continue to find ways to deny and accept suffering. W h e n it is particularly bad nature helps us and we tend to regress to earlier patterns o f c o p i n g until we are stronger again (the retreat under the w o m b - l i k e duvet, the bearable unconsciousness o f a binge). Each takes us back into the Great M o t h e r until, i f we are able, we can later emerge, strong enough to g o o n . T h e 'break d o w n to break through' ( M c C o r m i c k 1998). H o w e v e r , the goal remains the ability to hold our pain consciously and this is principally achieved b y the enormously valuable developmental stage o f stepping away from oneself and observing oneself objectively. T h i s is what w e mean when w e say we are conscious. Yet this is at best a half truth. It does not g o deep enough. W e are not in t w o parts, observer and observed, subject and object, and the very skill that psychotherapy values so highly, from the perspective o f Asianic p s y c h o l o g y , particularly B u d d h i s m and Advaita Vedanta, is also the very thing that creates a m o r e fundamental

and all

pervasive suffering that we in the W e s t , as yet, have little collective understanding o f (Engler 1984). In Tibetan Buddhism there exists a terrifying iconographie image that portrays all the various expressions o f life held within the grip o f Yama, L o r d o f Death. At the centre o f life is shown a pig, snake and rooster pursuing each other in an eternal chase. T h e s e three creatures represent attachment, aversion and delusion respectively and symbolize the mental states that keep us endlessly within the repetitive patterns o f suffering. Attachment to that which makes m e feel secure, aversion to that which makes m e feel afraid and the delusion that b y achieving the first I may avoid the second. In this simplest o f ways Buddhist psychology says that it is not just not getting enough o f the right type o f parenting that causes pain but that suffering stems from being a human ignorant o f our true, undivided, nature. T h i s deeper understanding sees the divided consciousness, that the emergence and development o f a separate sense o f self achieves, as the ultimate cause o f suffering. O n c e w e have such a self identity w e b e c o m e absolutely compelled to maintain it. All experiences that threaten it are defended against, while all experiences that strengthen it are sought after. T h i s simple truth is absolutely profound, and operates at all levels, personal and collective. I f w e look

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deeply, it is unlikely that any o f us will be able to find a single waking m o m e n t or instance when this was not and is not in operation. T h i s state o f continuous selfdefence, the suffering o f desiring or rejecting experience, o c c u r s in a transitory world, that makes achievement o f any stable, unchanging state impossible, so all and every attempt to reject or hold experience, to establish an unchanging self that is never threatened, is b o u n d to fail. Caught in the impossible task o f identifying with an identity that is perpetually in a state o f transition w e can only suffer. Naturally this bleak perception is not normally conscious. Part o f the healthy e g o (from a Western perspective) is its ability to defend itself from exactly such fears o f disintegration. Furthermore, m u c h o f our Western culture may be seen as a massive and sophisticated defence against such a view. Virtually everywhere I look I receive invitations to identify with s o m e o n e , s o m e g r o u p or s o m e thing (often a p r o d u c t ) , and so reinforce m y identity. I am this but not that. Y e t at the end o f all o f this, the achievement o f m o r e identity brings n o release, and often the most sane c o m e to therapy requesting an answer to this existential pain. If w e accept that the development o f a self and the divided consciousness necessary to d e v e l o p this are also, most fundamentally, the cause o f a deeper suffering then w e must find a way in therapy that answers this.

P h e n o m e n o l o g i c a l reflection W h i l e divided consciousness is the necessary initial step o n the path o f self awareness it is also the cause o f suffering. W h a t is needed is a means to begin to close the distance between the observer and the observed. Phenomenological reflection, being aware o f the m o v e m e n t and shifts in the energy o f consciousness as it appears in the thoughts, emotions and sensations o f the b o d y , is a means to effect this. W e l w o o d says that by using phenomenological reflection, the concepts, or ideas, about where w e are and h o w we feel, are 'experience-near'. B y this he means that we speak directly from the immediacy o f our experience as it happens in the very m o m e n t o f answering a question or making a statement. H o w d o I feel?, I pause, feel in, and slowly answer directly from the experience o f the m o m e n t . Subject and object remain but the reflective distance is marginally closed. T h e r e are at least several technical methods that I k n o w o f that fulfil the task o f beginning to diminish the gap between experience, raw and simple, and reflective observation, without simply regressing back into prereflective consciousness. O f these the techniques o f S p o t Imaging, developed b y Barbara S o m e r s and Ian G o r d o n B r o w n , and particularly F o c u s i n g , developed b y Eugene G e n d l i n are central (see final chapter for technical details). Both techniques are able to help patients keep very close to the emotional and imaginai material o f their primary process, the raw phenomena o f experience. W h i l e S p o t Imaging is particularly useful for contacting past experiences, or rather the memories o f past experience, being in s o m e ways midpoint between the techniques o f F r e u d ' s free association and Jung's circumabulation o f an image, F o c u s i n g deals m o r e directly with what is in the present. H o w e v e r , if we imagine phenomenological reflection, with these t w o as its principle tools, as a bridge between the reflective m e t h o d s o f psychotherapy and the naked presence o f contemplation,

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(final section), then S p o t Imaging always leads back into reflection while F o c u s i n g may lead either to reflection or, the opposite direction, into presence. Because o f this, here I am going to concentrate o n Focusing alone. Psychotherapy that uses Focusing, or other similar techniques, is not just interested in the content o f the patient's experience alone, the story, but is also concerned with the process. T o enter into this level o f the work it is necessary to shift the attention away from what is said towards how it is said. In practice this is achieved b y putting aside conceptual understanding o f ourselves and in its place w e focus u p o n direct experience. Simple observation is central and this supplies its o w n explanations. W h e n asked h o w we are, most o f us will answer from an already established 'history o f m y s e l f that has previously arrived at s o m e sort o f conclusion. W e might say, (probably causing s o m e surprise!), Ί am having a bad day with m y fears about being swamped and it is bringing up all m y mother stuff. Here I not only have m y emotion, ' s w a m p e d ' , but also an analysis o f it, 'bringing u p ' , and its aetiology, 'mother'. W h i l e this may be a significant reflective achievement it also takes m e away from the immediacy o f the m o m e n t , m y b o d y and m y present feeling. In F o c u s i n g we resist this impulse to answer from the 'history', but rather focus u p o n what G e n d l i n calls a 'felt sense' that is a combination o f both feelings, supplied b y consciousness o f our emotional self and physical sensation, supplied b y consciousness o f our b o d y (Gendlin 1978). T h e felt sense is slow and takes time to b e noticed. Initially it may b e ill defined o r indistinct. H o w e v e r b y focusing u p o n it, as both a sensation and a feeling simultaneously, either a w o r d , phrase or image may spontaneously emerge from the felt sense that accurately reflects it. W h e n this occurs we may then experience a 'felt shift', which is again, a spontaneous shift in b o d y / f e e l i n g / u n d e r s t a n d i n g that can c o m e from the attentive staying with the energy o f our present state. It is here that the choice o f which side o f the bridge to g o to occurs. Usually, because psychotherapy is a dialogue between t w o people to establish an understanding o f the self, the felt shift will be used to gain very precise and powerful insight into the material the patient has presented. H o w e v e r , Focusing may also b e used as a meditative tool where o n e is not interested in the result but simply the m o v e m e n t o f energy as it manifests from o n e form (sensation, emotion, or thought), to the next. T o achieve this W e l w o o d has developed the technique o f F o c u s i n g b y drawing o n his understanding o f meditation and calls this revised m e t h o d ' U n c o n d i tional Presence'. ( W e l w o o d 1 9 9 0 , 1 9 9 7 ) . In this m e t h o d the transpersonal witness, the position o f disidentified, desireless and compassionate observation b e c o m e s central and so

closely approximates the meditational practice o f mindfulness that closes the

subject/object divide further. W e will c o m e to this shortly.

3.

N A K E D PRESENCE, A W A K E

Here we m o v e from psychotherapeutic technique to spiritual practice and the essential point in this next step o f reducing the s u b j e c t / o b j e c t divide is that w e n o longer speak o f reflection but witnessing. T h e difference being that reflection suggests involvement or

dialogue while witnessing is a position o f neutrality that does not enter into

identification with that witnessed. Whereas before, in both conceptual and p h e n o m -

NAKED PRESENCE 197 enological reflection, the goal was a greater understanding o f our feelings and our journey through life, here the goal is simply to observe whatever is without any intention to change it. T h i s is sometimes called 'bare attention'. (Wilber, Engler and B r o w n 1986; Epstein 1995). T h i s too proceeds b y stages. Here it is simplified into three steps, the first t w o being the final phase o f awakening, brought about by mindfulness, and the last, the awake state itself.

Mindfulness M i n d f u l witnessing, or m o r e simply, mindfulness, is the quintessential

Buddhist

meditation method that further closes the gap between pure experience and the reflection o f divided consciousness. T o be mindful is to b e aware in the present o f exactly what is happening around us and within us. T h i s apparently easy task is immediately found to be extremely difficult as anyone w h o has tried it knows. What we find is that within m o m e n t s , distracting thoughts, feelings and fantasies have swept us away and often, very m u c h later, we suddenly remember that we are meant to be present but have actually been elsewhere. W e find that we are not masters o f our o w n minds. Y e t it is only b y being mindful that we can c o m e to observe our o w n nature and so k n o w w h o w e are. Mindfulness shows us our reality and cuts through the fantasies about w h o we w o u l d like to imagine ourselves to be. T h e self-concepts, the internal representations o f ourselves to ourselves, are found to be a conglomeration o f illusions. In this sense it is not dissimilar at first from the discovery o f the shadow and can b e very painful. H o w e v e r this is merely the first step and continued practice leads into profound meditative and contemplative states that have been charted very carefully by those w h o have developed them and have guided others.

Concentration, developing a calm state Jack Kornfield, meditation teacher and transpersonal psychotherapist, gives precise instructions, about beginning the practice o f mindfulness from within the Buddhist Insight tradition, that are invaluable for those w h o are intending to start practice (Kornfield 1993a). H o w e v e r there are small differences between various methods* and W e l w o o d offers o n e that is primarily influenced b y Tibetan Buddhist Mahamudra and D z o g c h e n teachings ( N o r b u 1984, 1986, 1989). Essentially, in all methods, it is first necessary to create an awareness o f separation from the constant chatter o f subliminal fantasies, emotions and thoughts, the stuff o f complexes, that make up the e g o identity. T h i s is achieved b y sitting in an upright position, straight but not tense, and continuously fixing o n e ' s concentration u p o n an object. T h i s may b e a candle, an * Here I have emphasized the basic similarities between the Vipassana/Insight tradition and Dzogchen for the sake of the argument. However, more technically there also exist important differences between these two paths and indeed other Buddhist paths as well. Please see: Goldstein. J. (Summer, 1999), 'How Amazing!', Tricycle, The Buddhist Review, p. 30 and Norbu, N. (1984), Dzogchen and Zen, published by Zhang Zhung Editions, Oakland, California. Without diminishing the differences it seems to me that at the initial stages of practice they are a little academic and rather than get caught up in them it is better just to start.

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image, a letter (for instance an A ) , or one's o w n breath or sensations. ( T h e breath, sensations or the A are without any cultural or religious associations.) T h e purpose o f this is to achieve an unwavering concentration that is not distracted b y thoughts and feelings, leaving the practitioner in a tranquil thought-free state. B y repeatedly bringing our attention back to the object o f concentration we slowly shift our identity from being s y n o n y m o u s with the content o f our thoughts and emotions to a state o f awareness that while alert is quiet and not driven b y the contents o f consciousness. Initially it is very simple to momentarily b e c o m e aware o f ourselves but it is extremely difficult to continue and most o f us when we first try are astounded at the level o f inner 'noise' that our minds continually make. T r y sitting n o w for sixty seconds without thinking and y o u will immediately understand. H o w e v e r with practice, b y kindly and patiently refocusing the attention on the object o f concentration, over and over and over again, maybe a hundred thousand times, w e will achieve a d e e p , blissful state o f calm. H o w e v e r , Kornfield warns us that the state o f blissful fixation, or samadhi, that concentration develops is only an expansion o f the self, not its final dissolution, and as such, though it is the necessary tool to reach non-dual consciousness, it is important not

to mistake it for the final liberation. They [blissful absorption states] are not the goal of spiritual life. In the end, spiritual life is not a process of seeking or gaining some extraordinary condition or special powers. In fact, such seeking can take us a w a y from ourselves. If w e are not careful, w e can easily find that great failures of our modern society, its ambition, materialism, and individual isolation, repeated in our spiritual life. (Kornfield 1 9 9 3 a , p. 1 1 )

T o avoid this it is necessary to continue further. Insight Concentration and the calm state it engenders is none the less a product o f desire, if only the desire to achieve and maintain it. I f w e are to take the final step between reflection and presence, divided to non-dual consciousness, we must have a means that is ultimately without any intention. W e begin this when the focus o f concentration b e c o m e s the m i n d itself, a presence o f awareness where awareness b e c o m e s self-aware. T h i s is the emergence o f the transpersonal witness earlier referred to. T h e mindful witness that allows us to step back from experience without reaction or identification is achieved b y relaxing the fixation u p o n the object o f concentration and so allow the blocked thoughts to begin to arise again. H o w e v e r in this instant, instead o f b e c o m i n g identified with them, as before, one observes them c o m i n g into the thought-free space, continuing and disappearing. Here we have m o v e d from being identified with the contents o f consciousness to a broader consciousness that observes thoughts, feelings and sensations, as they appear from an empty ground, continue and then dissolve. H e r e c o m m o n analogues are o f watching from the bank a fish rising to the surface o f the water, making a ripple and then going, or o f gazing at an empty sky (consciousness) and seeing the clouds (contents o f consciousness) m o v e across it. In this way w e continue until gradually w e are capable o f maintaining this level o f awareness not only during

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formal meditation sittings but also while rising and walking and then all the m o r e complicated actions o f our lives. Transreflective presence, the self-perfected state T h i s is the final stage where calm and insight join, and o n e m o v e s from meditation, an intentional act, to contemplation, an effortless continuation within non-dual c o n sciousness. T h i s is called self-perfected, not because there is any notion o f a self to perfect o r a self that has b e c o m e perfect, but simply because any m o v e m e n t in the mind stream instantly is k n o w n to be indivisible from the e m p t y ground it rises from without any need for the practitioner to d o anything. It does itself. Totally relaxed. T h i s is the final sublime realization that G r o f describes above where emptiness and form are one. T h i s state, impossible to conceptually understand, for ever a secret to those o f us w h o have not k n o w n it, is called the Great Perfection ( T i b . Dzogchen) and represents the ultimate healing. O n e w h o has entered it fully is called a B u d d h a , an awakened o n e , who

rests in naked presence ( T i b . rigpa), 2L natural wakefulness or clarity that is free

from dualistic perceptions or attachments. Descriptions o f this state are beautiful (if ultimately impossible to understand until experienced). H e r e I quote from W e l w o o d w h o in turn draws from masters; the first concerns the fundamental unity o f all things: T h e ultimate practice here is learning to remain fully present and a w a k e in the middle of whatever thoughts, feelings, perceptions, or sensations are occurring and to recognise t h e m . . . as a n ornamental display of the empty, luminous essence of awareness. Like waves on the sea, thoughts are not separate from awareness. They are the radiant clarity of awareness in motion. In remaining a w a k e in the middle of thoughts . . . recognising t h e m as the luminous energy of awareness . . . the practitioner maintains presence and can rest within their movement. ( W e l wood 1 9 9 6 , p. 1 2 4 ) The

point is that there is nothing to d o : Here no antidote need be applied: no conceptual understanding, no reflection, no stepping back, no detachment, no witnessing. W h e n one is totally present in the thought, in the emotion, in the disturbance, it relaxes itself, becoming open and transparent to the larger ground of awareness. T h e w a v e subsides back into the ocean. The cloud dissolves into the sky. The snake naturally uncoils. These are metaphors that say: It self-liberates. ( 1 9 9 6 , p. 1 2 5 )

A n d finally should w e w o n d e r whether this will leave us fit to function in the market place: Nor is the relative duality of self and other in daily life a problem w h e n one is not trapped in divided consciousness. One can adopt the conventional perspective of duality and drop it w h e n it is not necessary. T h e n the interplay of self and other becomes a humorous dance, an energetic exchange, an ornament rather t h a n a hindrance. ( 1 9 9 6 , p. 1 2 5 ) W h i l e mindfulness is characterized b y absence o f intent, n o n e the less dwelling in this awareness may spontaneously effect emotional structures in the mindstream.

(In

B u d d h i s m the teaching is that to stay in the state o f non-dual awareness is the means

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to ultimately purify all karmas; that a m o m e n t o f rigpa is m o r e powerful than a great deal o f purification.) W e l w o o d ' s psychotherapeutic method that draws o n this practice and its unintentional healing is called Unconditional Presence.

U N C O N D I T I O N A L PRESENCE AS A T H E R A P E U T I C T E C H N I Q U E W h e n I entered analysis I was surprised to find m y analyst emotionally reacting to elements o f the material I presented. A t times he would b e c o m e plainly agitated and angry. I quickly rationalized this to myself as my fault, it was m y inability to feel properly that evoked this response. N o w I know other. M y pathology was actually revealed in the speed and ease o f m y willingness to make myself wrong to protect a relationship from which I needed love. In fact the m o r e spacious acceptance o f what I had found in m y o w n shadow, during painful and prolonged purification practices, was m o r e helpful. B e c o m i n g emotionally involved in wanting or rejecting parts o f ourselves is ultimately unhelpful as it merely perpetuates the stance o f an e g o trying to c o n v i n c e itself o f its invulnerable existence. T h e ability to accept what I found could have, in the hands o f a wiser therapist, b e c o m e the foundation o f unconditional presence, the capacity to meet experience fully and directly, without filtering it through any conceptual or strategic agenda. (Welwood 1 9 9 6 , p. 1 1 9 ) H o w e v e r it is not only therapists with their o w n emotional agendas that further alienate patients from themselves. In Focusing, with the best intent, when used in the service o f the individual self, there is a desire to follow through to a resolution, to make things 'better'. T h u s there is a bias towards doing that maintains the dualism o f one w h o observes and that observed. T h o u g h this is better than conceptual reflection alone, this is still a subtle spiritual materialism because it feeds the desire for something other. T h i s desire for change or improvement can disturb the deeper letting g o that is necessary for m o v i n g from 'the realm o f personality to the realm o f being'. T o facilitate this release it is necessary to m o v e the focus from the desired goals o f change to 'howwe-are-with-experience ( W e l w o o d 1996, p . 119), that is to broaden the focus so w e are y

present with our awareness rather than the content o f that awareness as mentioned above. W e l w o o d suggests that as therapists, the essential quality we can develop in ourselves and our patients is unconditional presence because it is the most powerful transmuting p o w e r there is. In therapy unconditional presence operates in those small moments when we c o m e into direct, intimate contact with our felt experience. I t s quality is non-doing, not inactivity, but rather, 'non-reactive and non-controlling', yet an active engagement with what is happening at each m o m e n t . It is mindful. T o arrive at this there are four stages, the first three are very similar to Focusing while the fourth extends the method. Here I will paraphrase W e l w o o d ' s o w n explanation. 1.

Enquire willingly and openly into what is our felt experience. T h i s avoids the immediate and automatic response that avoids a deeper reflection.

2.

Acknowledge what our felt experience is. A s therapist we may suggest, ' N o t i c e what

NAKED PRESENCE 201 it is like right now just to acknowledge what y o u are feeling'. A n d the answer might be after checking the felt sense, T e s , I feel angry here, and sad, and vulnerable'. T h i s is to feel it in the b o d y , to stay with the feeling, to name it, and to cut through the impulse to identify or act o n it. T h i s bare acknowledgement m o v e s us from a passive to an active stance and creates immediately m o r e freedom. 3.

Allowing the experience to be there. N o t acting it out, not identifying with it, (I am this feeling), not resisting it, (I am not this feeling). Rather, giving the experience time and space, holding it in awareness and softening around it. Sometimes emotions are very painful and create the feeling that we are going to be o v e r w h e l m e d . T o avoid this we harden around the experience and impose judgements that say it is bad or w r o n g to feel like this. I f this happens, b y breathing into the e m o t i o n , allowing it to expand fully while remaining aware o f it releases the pressure o f the resistance. T h i s takes practice.

4.

Opening fully to the experience. T h i s is to b e present with our experience, with emotions, without 'judging, explaining or manipulating'. It is simply maintaining a mindful awareness o f their presence. W h a t is important here is not the feelings themselves but rather the act of opening to them. T h e m o v e m e n t from identification to witnessing. Feeling something does not create w i s d o m but opening to it does. W h e n our focus shifts from feelings as the source o f pleasure or pain to a state o f presence, we m o v e from the personal sphere to the transpersonal. W e m o v e from being at war with our experience and the painful structures o f self and other begin to break d o w n . Unconditional friendliness arises from this shift. Awareness and loving kindness are the qualities that w e deeply yearn for in all our relationships, parents, teachers and partners; here w e begin to p r o v i d e them for ourselves. W e l w o o d says o f this final acceptance: To be unconditionally present with our experience is the simplest thing w e could possibly do. It means being present to w h a t is, facing it as it is, without relying on any view or concept about it. W h a t could be simpler than that? And yet, w h a t could be more difficult? (Welwood 1 9 9 0 ) .

H O R I Z O N T A L A N D V E R T I C A L S H I F T S IN PRACTICE In practice this may b e used repeatedly throughout a process o f therapy and introduces into the therapy, with a m i n i m u m o f therapist intrusion, an element that is truly transpersonal in that in the m o m e n t o f unconditional presence we have entered into a relationship with ourselves that is n o longer primarily involved in the maintenance o f the e g o project. W h e n w e work at either o f the levels o f conceptual o r p h e n o m e n o logical reflection nearly all shifts will be horizontal because they are 'content mutations' that m o v e from o n e emotion to the next. Ί felt angry but n o w I feel sad and this feels better, m o r e real'. T h i s shift is entirely at the level o f the personality. H o w e v e r , when we can rest in unconditional presence, we effect vertical shifts which are a m o v e m e n t from the personality to a clarity o f being. T h i s can only o c c u r when w e d r o p the o b s e r v e r / o b s e r v e d position and stay within the energetic experience itself without b e c o m i n g identified with it.

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m y part I would add that unconditional presence may also effect spontaneous

changes, horizontal and vertical felt shifts, when the patient is not actively engaged as the above technique demands. Obviously many o f our patients are not at a place where this sort o f technique can be used because it takes a certain amount o f therapist-patient cooperation for it even to be tried. In circumstances where the patient has not given this degree o f permission to work, where perhaps there is a great deal o f unconscious acting out, the therapist can n o n e the less maintain unconditional presence in his o r her self during each session (or at least s o m e part o f each). In practice this will mean being mindfully present with both the material being presented and o n e ' s o w n inner responses. H e r e all desire to facilitate change, to make assessments, to prefer o n e experience over another, is exchanged for the ability to rest in one's transpersonal witness, unconditionally present. W h e n this occurs I have noticed that something o f it is quite automatically and unconsciously registered b y the patient w h o then may, without knowing h o w or why, feel a little m o r e spacious and connected in t h e m selves. Lastly it remains important to remember that psychotherapy needs all its levels, conceptual and phenomenological reflection and contemplative unconditional presence. T h e contemplative approach to therapy being m o r e c o n c e r n e d with the presence o f awareness than with problem resolution is contra-indicated for those needing a m o r e robust e g o ; conceptual reflection and Focusing are better for this. M a k i n g this differentiation is important. Psychotherapy always starts and finishes with a return to the reflective level o f dialogue where it is helpful to consider experiences, including the vertical shifts, because it integrates them into daily life. In meditation and contemplation, while this may achieve deeper, m o r e prolonged experiences o f undivided consciousness, as Jack Kornfield has described so well (1993b), it is easier to fail to integrate them. W e all k n o w o f the great meditator w h o cannot have a relationship and does not k n o w h o w to wash dishes. What is important is to get the balance right, soul and spirit in harmony. Psychotherapeutically, mindfulness represents a very sophisticated tool which, if this argument is accepted, may finally bring an end to the most profound levels o f human suffering. W h i l e using Focusing in its developed form we b e c o m e mindful momentarily and approach a place in our technique where being with experience, without the need for interpretation or meaning, has a place. Practising mindfulness enables the therapist to experience nakedly (and not emotionally react) and this enables the patient to d o the same. T h e patient's possible decision to pursue this experience and build u p o n it with formal meditation practice is the place where psychotherapy and spiritual practice begin to separate and as I have suggested, I believe psychotherapists are best if they d o not confuse themselves with meditation masters.

CONCLUSION T h i s chapter has many subjects missing that o n e might rightfully expect in a chapter on transpersonal psychology and spirituality. H o w e v e r I have tried to stay firstly close to m y o w n experience (in as far as I am able), and also present something that is simple,

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p r o f o u n d and I h o p e functionally beautiful. I believe that the wedding o f psychotherapeutic practice and 'spiritual' development b y the bridge o f F o c u s i n g / m i n d f u l n e s s is one

o f the most important conceptual and practical tools to b e c o m e available at this

present m o m e n t . It takes the very o l d w i s d o m from the Asianic traditions, b o r n o f three thousand years' experience, and c o m b i n e s it with the very y o u n g but precociously bright insights o f Western psychotherapy. T o g e t h e r , both traditions, share the c o m passionate c o n c e r n to address and end human suffering, the pain that w e all feel at different points in our o w n lives and when w e view the pain o f others. T h i s suffering may initially and provisionally b e relieved b y developing a g o o d enough personal identity that can find a place in the world that will satisfy its d e e p archetypal longing. H o w e v e r this respite is temporary and a m o r e c o m p l e t e and lasting answer, I believe, may b e found b y addressing the psychological structures that involve us in the continuous tail-chasing

o f the pig, snake and rooster, attachment, aversion

and

delusion. A struggle that is at base about clinging o n t o the very same self that it is first necessary to establish in a healthy way. Abraham M a s l o w , a founding Father o f transpersonal p s y c h o l o g y , says on this: T h e goal of identity . . . seems to be simultaneously an end-goal and also a transitional goal, a rite of passage, a step along the path to transcendence of identity. Put the other w a y , if our goal is the Eastern one . . . then it looks as if the best path to this goal, for most people, is via achieving identity, a strong real self. ( M a s l o w 1 9 6 8 , p. 1 1 4 ) H o w e v e r , it is also important to remember that life seems to m o v e along spirals, and it is a balance o f soul and spirit, not first soul and then spirit, as if soul is something that can b e c o m p l e t e d . Kornfield, with his powerful background as a meditation teacher, believes that meditation alone does not provide all the answers, that w e can be very mindful o f our breath but totally unconscious o f our emotions. W h e n the spirit is strong but the soul weak then he r e c o m m e n d s psychotherapy. A t the end o f the day we may need b o t h . If w e can't love well and give meaningful work to the earth, then w h a t is spiritual practice for? Meditation can help in these areas. But if, after sitting for a while, you discover that you still have some work to do, find a good therapist or some other w a y to address these issues. (Kornfield 1 9 9 3 b , p. 6 8 ) Finally it is not about the form o f therapy o r meditation but what happens within them, Kornfield again: Does this m e a n w e should trade meditation for psychotherapy? Not a t all. Therapy isn't the solution either. Consciousness is! (Kornfield 1 9 9 3 b , p. 6 8 ) As for what the notion of'transpersonal' stands for, ultimately it probably is not very important. W e have seen several different meanings and surely there are more. W h a t is important is that whatever our path or journey, that we m o v e from just talking and thinking about it to experiencing it. Here experiencing does not mean having emotions

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about the belief structures that comfort, confirm and define our sense o f identity, the spiritual materialism I quote T r u n g p a R i m p o c h e mentioned earlier. Rather it is direct experience o f stepping out o f identification with the contents o f consciousness (which includes all o f this here plus everything that has ever been thought, felt and said about spirituality), and entering firstly the conscious position o f the transpersonal witness, and

then the state o f ' s e l f liberation' where all dualism ends. Naked presence. T o what

extent this is possible is still unknown in the west ( h o w many enlightened Westerners do

we know!). Y e t even the early stages reveal simple benefits, expanding our

consciousness into insightful calm while connected to the earth and the heart. A s w e breathe mindfully in and out, the complex and often painful stories o f o u r lives lose their compulsive quality. W o u n d s b e c o m e transparent and less significant, forgiveness and

generosity are more easily found. Anger and fear are less necessary. A n d so we

breathe. The

Z e n Master Shunryu Suzki says it best:

W h a t w e call Ύ is just a swinging door w h i c h moves w h e n w e inhale and w h e n w e exhale. It just moves; that is all.

REFERENCES Donaldson, M. (1992). Human Minds. London: Penguin. Engler, J. (1984). 'Therapeutic Aims in Psychotherapy and Meditation: Developmental Stages in the Representations of the Sur, Journal of Transpersonal Psychotherapy, 16(1), p. 25. Epstein, M . (1995). Thoughts Without a Thinker. New York: Basic Books. Freud, S. (1927, first published 1961). The Future of an Illusion, Standard edition, vol. 21. London: Hogarth Press. Freud, S. (1930,firstpublished 1961). Civilization and its Discontents. Standard edition, vol. 21. London: Hogarth Press. Gendlin, E. (1978) Focusing. Everest House. Grof, S. (1967). Realms of the Human Unconscious. New York: Dutton. Guggenbuhl-Craig, A. (1971). Power m the Helping Professions. New York: Spring Publications. Hillman, J. (1979). Teaks and Vales'. In C. Giles (ed.) Puer Papers. Dallas, Texas: Spring Publications. Jung, C. G. (1956). Symbols of Transformation, vol. 5 of Collected Works. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Jung, C. G. (1958). Psychology of Religion: West and East, vol. 11 of Collected Works. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Jung, C. G. (1953). Psychology and Alchemy, vol. 12 of Collected Works. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Jung, C. G. (1968). Alchemical Studies, vol. 13 of Collected Works. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Jung, C. G. (1963). Mysterium Coniunctwnis, vol. 14 of Collected Works. London and Henley: Routledge and Kegan Paul.

NAKED PRESENCE 205 Jung, C. G. (1963). Memories, Dreams, Reflections. London: Collins and Routledge and Kegan Paul. Kornfield, J. (1993a). A Path With Heart. London: Rider Books. Kornfield, J. (1993b). 'Even The Best Meditators Have Old Wounds To Heal: Combining Meditation and Psychotherapy'. In R. Walsh and F. Vaughan (eds) (1993). Paths Beyond Ego. New York: Tarcher Putnam. McCormick, E. W. (1989, 1997) Surviving Breakdown. London: Vermillion. Maslow, Abraham H. (1968). Towards a Psychology of Being. New York: D. Van Nostrand. Norbu, N. (1984). The Cycle of Day and Night. Oakland, California: Zhang Zhung Editions. Norbu, N. (1986). The Crystal and the Way of Light. New York and London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Norbu, N. (1989). Dzogchen, The Self-Perfected State. London: Arkana. Raff, J. A. (1997). 'The Felt Vision'. In D. F. Sandner and S. H. Wong (1997), The Sacred Heritage. New York and London: Routledge. Shunryu Suzuki. (1970). Zen Mind Beginner's Mind. New York and Tokyo: Weatherhill. Tart, Charles T. (1994). Living the Mindful Life. Boston and London: Shambhala. Trungpa, C. (1973). Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism. Boston and London: Shambhala. Vaughan, F. (1986). The Inward Arc. Nevada City: Blue Dolphin. Welwood, J. (1977). 'Meditation and the Unconscious: A New Perspective', Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, 9(1). Welwood, J. (1983). 'On Psychotherapy and Meditation'. In J. Welwood (ed.) (1983), Awakening The Heart. Boston and London: Shambhala. Welwood, J. (1990). 'The Healing Power of Unconditional Presence' Pilgrimage, The Journal of Psychotherapy and Personal Exploration, 16(3), p. 2. Welwood, J. (1997). 'Reflection and Presence: The Dialectic of Self-Knowledge'. The Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, 28(2), p. 107. Wilber, K. (1975). 'Psychologia Perennis: The Spectrum of Consciousness', The Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, 7 (2), p. 105. Wilber, K. (1995). Sex, Ecology, Spirituality: The Spirit of Evolution. Boston and London: Shambhala. Wilber, K. (1998). The Essential Ken Wilber. Boston and London: Shambhala. Wilber, K., Engler, J. and Brown, D. P. (1986). Transformations of Consciousness. Boston and London: Shambhala.

C H A P T E R 10

Specific Techniques Editor's note: In this final chapter we will look at some of the specific techniques that may be used in practice. Val Davies gives the stages for Focusing that I described more generally in Chapter 9. This is very important. Claire Chappell shows how to use Sandplay, while I offer the very practical side of working with dreams, Active Imagination and Spot Imaging. Phifippa Vick has the impossible task of the Body in Psychotherapy and since this is a vast subject in itself, can only offer a small introduction. Three general points: firstly personal experience of a technique is necessary, doing something with someone that you have not done with yourself is morally dubious. Secondly, as with all techniques, they must grow organically from the work and not be forced in as an intruder; the worse cases of this will actually be harmful, particularly those that expose a weak ego to uncontainable unconscious forces. If in doubt do not do it. Thirdly, the most important 'technique' is our own quality of consciousness. If we are mindfully present and do nothing else we will do a great deal more than someone with a bag of tricks and no understanding. I personally believe that the best technique becomes invisible as it sits seamlessly in the fabric of the therapy. N.W.

FOCUSING Valerie Harding Davies Reusing, developed by Eugene Gendlin, is a powerful process enabling people to make changes. It does this by differentiating between our stories, the established understanding about our identities and their histories, and what truly ' ά ' . Focusing is a process built on the assumption that the essential meaning that events and relationships have for people is contained within a 'felt sense'. T h e felt sense is a physical sensation that contains complexities o f emotional information. It is different from a specific emotional response such as hurt, fear, anger, etc., because these are precise and immediately identifiable. T h e felt sense contains all the diverse implicit meanings that an experience holds and these can only be accessed and made explicit through an expression (via word or image) o f the felt sense. Immediately a word or image captures the essential meaning, contained within a felt sense, the person experiences a sense o f 'fit' and then a sense o f movement or change as this clarification o f meaning allows other meanings to emerge. ( M c L e o d 1993 in References at end o f this section.) Gendlin (1978) emphasizes that the most important rule for therapists to observe when engaged in the focusing process is to stay out o f the focuser's way. It is the client's b o d y that knows where the crux o f the problem lays and is thus the expert. Focusing enables the b o d y , through the unfolding o f words and images, to express its w i s d o m and begin the healing process. S o m e clients will naturally pause and consult their felt sense when asked about their feelings or an aspect o f their lives, however most o f us will

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not and w e will need to be taught. Learning this technique is easier for s o m e than others. In a culture that lives very little consciously in its b o d y , learning focusing is an alien task. Y e t persistence will have its reward. T h e process can b e divided into seven stages that eventually will run together naturally o n c e the focuser has b e c o m e familiar with the method. 1. Clearing a space W e start b y asking a question. H o w are you? H o w is your life right now? W h a t are y o u feeling? T h i s will evoke a collection o f concerns, areas o f anxiety. Answers to these questions are not to b e found in 'the story' that w e carry with us about ourselves, but in the unclear, ill defined 'aura' that may be vaguely felt within the b o d y response to the question. T h i s is sensed perhaps in the chest, stomach or throat. Observe this, not entering in o r identifying, but leaving a little space between. O n c e this is felt ask again and check if y o u sense something m o r e elsewhere. A n d then again until complete. 2. Felt sense N e x t select o n e area o f c o n c e r n or interest and continue to focus o n it. A n aura o f feeling that conveys all its parts as a physical sensation within your b o d y . T h i s is still an unclear, defuse felt sense. 3. Handle N e x t find the quality o f the defuse felt sense. A l l o w a w o r d , phrase or image to c o m e from the felt sense itself. A quality w o r d is something like, sticky, tight, stuck, heavy, full. It describes precisely the quality o f the felt sense. Stay with the felt sense for however long it takes for the w o r d , phrase or image to emerge from it. T h i s is different from conceptually finding a w o r d , from our story, and labelling the felt sense with it. 4. Resonating N o w g o back and forth between the felt sense in your b o d y and the w o r d , phrase or image that has emerged from it. C h e c k h o w they resonate with each other, have y o u found the exact match? Y o u may find both felt sense and its w o r d , phrase or image change as y o u d o this. C o n t i n u e carefully until they fit. A n indication o f this may be a small bodily sign, a sigh, a feeling o f ' y e s ' , a release. G i v e this time, stay with it, feeling it completely, physical felt sense and its expression. 5. Asking It is possible that the release, a 'felt shift', in the previous stage, has already given you an additional deeper understanding o f your situation. If not try asking the felt sense what it is about the situation that has caused the felt sense to be so. Ask o p e n questions like, ' W h a t is it about this situation that makes it sticky, leaden, annihilating, stuck,

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etc.?', or 'What is the named quality or image o f this?', or 'What does this felt sense need?' It is important that the answer c o m e s from the felt sense. I f quick, rationalized answers c o m e disregard these and return to your b o d y and wait for the felt sense to answer. G i v e lots o f time. A real felt shift c o m e s when the answer c o m e s from the felt sense. T h e 'ah, ha' m o m e n t . A sense o f physical satisfaction, this is the truth o f it, this feels right. 6. R e c e i v i n g Finally happily accept what has emerged, however small or large this shift may b e . Therapist and client need to be still at this point so that a true receiving has time to take place. Frequently at this point there may be tears, sighs, physical relaxation, whatever. 7. Returning It is important that time is allowed to m o v e away from inner space and to return to the present and the r o o m in which you are working. Therapists need to check with their clients that their communication with the felt sense is complete before inviting them to bring themselves back to the r o o m . Focusing is an important tool that it has a central place in many sessions. O n c e we have learnt the m e t h o d , recognizing that it gives truer information then the dead constructions o f the story, it becomes an invaluable resource for the universal question, ' h o w are y o u ? ' . W e use it when w e are stuck and when we simply want to know. W e can repeatedly use it in the session or just o n c e as the basis for reflection. Finding associations via focusing for dream images is particularly powerful. T h e association that c o m e s is the one that carries the emotional truth. Finally, m y experience o f sharing with another in this way has always been extremely humbling, rewarding, enlightening and mutually healing. T h e r e is s o m e thing spiritual present.

REFERENCES A N D FURTHER READING Gendlin, Ε. T. (1962) Experiencing and the Creation of Meaning. New York: Free Press. Gendlin, Ε. T. (1978) Focusing. New York: Bantam Books. Kahn, M . (1996) Between Therapist and Client. New York: Freeman. McLeod, J. (1993) An Introduction To Counselling. Buckingham: Open University Press.

SANDPLAY Claire Chappell S o m e o f the most effective, m o v i n g and satisfying work that I have d o n e has been with sandplay as the primary focus for creativity and communication between myself and

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the client. A s with other therapeutic tools, n o therapist should use this technique without having initially experienced the process themselves over a period o f time. T h i s section is o n l y an introduction to working with sand, the beginning o f exploring a m e d i u m for expression. T o d o sandplay justice needs m u c h m o r e space than can b e given here, and I h o p e this brief description o f the process encourages y o u to explore it further. Sandplay is a powerful m e t h o d o f psychotherapy. It is literally a 'hands o n ' approach, involving practical, creative work in a sandtray. T h e process is simple. T h e person at the sandtray creates three-dimensional pictures in the sand. T h e pictures are m a d e with the hands which b e c o m e the mediators between inner and outer reality. W h e n creating these pictures o u r whole being is involved, the b o d y , imagination, soul and spirit. T h e therapeutic process o f sandplay was developed b y D o r a Kalff from Margaret L o w e n f e l d ' s ' W o r l d T e c h n i q u e ' . In S w e d e n , and m o r e recently in Japan, it is used as a diagnostic technique in child psychiatry. In this country it is usually used as part o f therapeutic sessions. Sandplay is often a silent activity. T h e client creates and the therapist witnesses the creation, in silence. T h e r e are n o clever interpretations to b e made b y the therapist either during the making or after. T h e healing and transformation c o m e s from the interaction between the imagination and the b o d y o f the client and the process being witnessed o f that process b y a compassionate other. O n e client told m e that it was like 'making dreams in the sand'. T h e technique it most resembles is working with dreams where there is a threesome, the client, the therapist and the dreamer, and here it is the client, the therapist, and the dreamer in the sand.

Requirements T w o sandtrays measuring 57 X 72 c m and 7 c m d e e p . T h e tray is not a perfect square. Ruth A m m a n (1991, p . 18) maintains, 'Because o f the inequality o f the measurements the rectangular shape creates tensions, unrest and a desire for m o v e m e n t , a desire to g o forward'. T h i s means that the client will 'finally find his centre, his personal circle, in the rectangle o f the tray.' T h e next requirement is a selection o f objects all easily accessible. S o m e objects can b e in drawers or b o x e s , so that the client can explore and find out what is available. T h e collection o f objects should have a mixture o f natural objects like shells, stones, rocks, w o o d , twigs and feathers. T h e r e should also b e miniature man-made objects and figures,

such as p e o p l e from various countries and cultures, both historical and

mythical, and p e o p l e d o i n g tasks like d o c t o r s , p o l i c e m e n or farmers. H o u s e s , buildings, sacred buildings, religious s y m b o l s , miniature trees, plants,

flowers,

marbles and

c o l o u r e d glass stones can be included. Miniature animals, both domestic and wild, k n o w n or u n k n o w n , are important. I work with both children and adults and so I have figures from s o m e o f the m o d e r n myths, like Star W a r s and characters from cartoons. It is not possible or even necessary to have 'something o f everything'. Part o f the process is to encourage the client to invent, create and make their o w n world from what is available. W h a t really matters is not the n u m b e r o f objects but their variety and their

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symbolic value. It is important that everything is not just beautiful, friendly and light. T h e r e should be s o m e dark, ugly and fearsome things available too. T h e client is given n o instructions: s / h e is able to express what is spontaneously accessible within the session. Figures d o not have to b e used. S o m e clients only ever make sculptures with the sand. T h e r e is n o right way to play in the sand, there is only the play itself. H o w to start Although I work with adults and children, within the context o f this b o o k I am writing only about working with adults. F r o m m y experience I find that the invitation to use the sand can be given at any time, at the beginning o f a session, in the middle or when the talking appears to be 'getting in the way'. It really does seem that sandplay 'can reach the parts other therapies cannot reach'. T h e role o f the therapist T h e therapist is primarily there to bear witness to the creative process. I usually sit alongside and a little behind the client; in that way I d o not interfere with the client's space. I draw what is happening in the tray, as the client creates it. T h a t is m y most important task, to watch, to listen and to write d o w n what happens during the process. I label the objects as the client labels them. If a client chooses a w o o d e n house and calls it 'the office', then that is what I label it and h o w I refer to it. W h e n the tray is c o m p l e t e and 'finished' according to the client, I take photographs o f the tray from different perspectives. I give the client copies o f the photographs at the end o f our work together. T h e r e are a few don'ts. W h e n the client is working or if later they are talking about the process, d o not put your hands into the tray, d o not touch or point to the objects. T h e client has created their o w n sacred space and the therapist must respect that space and not intrude. D o not make interpretations; let the client make them. After the tray has been finished the therapist can ask the client to c o m m e n t o n the tray. Is there anything they want to say, what did the process feel like? W h e n they look at the tray from a different position is there anything else they notice? H o w d o they feel now? T h e client may want to take time to talk about the sandplay or may wish to leave it alone and talk about it at a later time. After several sessions in which sandplay has been a part or the whole o f the session, I have a 'review session'. T h e client and I agree a date and then together we look at the photographs and the client tells 'the story o f the trays'. T h i s is a wonderful time for the client to make connections, explore the meanings o f the trays further and to share new insights or ideas.

REFERENCES A N D FURTHER READING Amman, R. (1991) Healing and Transformation in Sandplay. Illinois: Open Court. Lowenfield, M . (1979) The World Technique. London: Allen and Un win. Weinribb, E. (1983) Images of the Self New York: Sigo Press.

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DREAM RECORDING Nigel Wellings T h i s section shows h o w to use dreams practically as a central part o f the therapy.

R e c o r d i n g the d r e a m D r e a m s need time, I like to k n o w if the session will b e spent working primarily with the dream so as to give adequate space. S o m e p e o p l e bring a flood o f dreams and others fragments. T h e first presents a p r o b l e m o f c h o i c e and the second the belief that there is nothing to work with. W i t h a flood y o u will need to c h o o s e o n e or t w o that have particularly m o v e d the dreamer. O r , with a vast dream, parts that are particularly powerful. D o not c h o o s e ones that apparently confirm a conscious position. T h o u g h they t o o will in fact compensate consciousness, they may b e m o r e difficult to understand than o n e that is plainly disturbing. T h e p r o b l e m o f fragments is often o n e o f censorship, the belief that this is not an important dream. W o r k with it fully and y o u will b o t h b e amazed b y what is inside it. Often the shortest are the most powerful. T o discourage censorship I make a point o f saying that everything is to be recorded even if it is o n l y the vague sense o f a feeling or image. T o record a dream y o u need to ask the patient to speak it slowly and to be in feeling contact with what they say. Y o u then can write what they say, w o r d for w o r d if possible (you

may need your o w n shorthand for this). W r i t e the dream text in ordinary pen,

leaving plenty o f space between the lines. I f they g o t o o fast y o u may slow them d o w n politely and gently. N e x t ask if the dream means anything to them. T h e i r o w n interpretation is important, it e m p o w e r s them b y recognizing they are the expert o n themselves and shows y o u areas they may have missed. Y o u can also ask for a title as this will show what they feel is essential. N e x t gather associations. S i m p l y ask what each image suggests or reminds them of. T h i s is fun and playful as well as serious and sometimes painful, it needs a light touch to let the u n c o n s c i o u s through. W r i t e these in a c o l o u r e d pen in between the text. Y o u n o w have text and associations. Often simply b y d o i n g this connections may be made and the meaning b e c o m e clearer. Ask what they n o w understand. T h i s is also the point to reflect back the associations and suggest connections that may have occurred to y o u . T h e s e are merely your ideas and not truths that the patient must accept or b e labelled as resisting. Y o u will often be wrong. F r o m this themes from the work may unfold and a general reflective dialogue ensue. S o m e t i m e s this is the place for amplificatory material, y o u may suggest a c o n n e c t i o n or perhaps suggest something that c o u l d b e followed u p . D o not flood the patient with long mythical stories that bore them or burden them with the brilliance o f your interpretation. L e t them make connections, y o u can n u d g e but not push. B e able to back d o w n . Y o u may work in this way all the time or occasionally. W h a t is important is that the dreaming touches the dreamer's life and is not used as an escape. U s e d as such y o u both have a powerful tool and a place o f w i s d o m to refer to.

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The first dream F r o m this it may be possible to make a prognosis for the course o f the therapy. I ask at the initial meeting if the patient dreams and if so did they dream last night. T h i s signals the central importance o f the dream and also elicits the first dream. I f they d o not dream I suggest that they very probably will o n c e we start and this frequently is enough to get a 'non-dreamer' dreaming. It is impossible to make generalizations about the first dream, only reflection, experience and work with a supervisor can be o f specific help, but as a rule o f t h u m b , dreams that have a very negative o u t c o m e and which appear to be connected to the prospective therapy could reflect either an anxiety or even a possibility o f the work being o f little value, or worse, a harm. Take such a dream seriously and if there are other factors that make you suspicious o f starting work then you may use this as a deciding factor. Conversely, optimistic dreams that have a sense o f opening are a very favourable indication. Also in the first session I ask that the patient records their dreams in a dream b o o k / psychological journal immediately each morning. Reading from this ensures that the dream is not changed with time. The dream sequence A therapy without dreams is like steering b y the compass while with dreams we steer from a detailed and precise map. Dreams reveal the shadow, reflect changes in the conscious position as they o c c u r and also communicate and offer corrections when not fully understood. Paying attention to central themes enables us to understand what is o f primary importance and watching the changes in these themes enables us to assess and focus the therapy as is appropriate. Images that d o not change or b e c o m e m o r e insistent and frightening may well be representing material that the dreamer is failing to hear. Images that were initially frightening and then transform into something helpful may represent an integration o f shadow material. Again generalizations have little value, however the stuff o f fairy tales and myth does show clearly the archetypal themes and patterns that run through most o f our material. The final dream T h i s may reflect the work completed and the next step o n the journey. W h e n a patient suggests ending I usually ask that we include their dream opinion in this. Often e g o and shadow hold different views and if the whole person is to decide it is necessary to consider both sides. Also, sometimes I think the patient should continue and am surprised to hear that their unconscious does not agree and it is time to stop. In all events I am most satisfied when a dream clearly reflects and supports an ending.

FURTHER READING Bosnak, R. (1998). A Little Course m Dreams. Boston and London: Shambhala. Hall, J. A. (1983). Jungian Dream Interpretation. Toronto: Inner City Books.

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Matoon, M . A. (1984). Understanding Dreams. Dallas, Texas: Spring Publications. Von Franz, M . L. (1970). Interpretation of Fairy Tales. Dallas, Texas: Spring Publications.

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IMAGINATION

Nigel Wellings Active imagination is a technique for building a bridge between conscious and unconscious m i n d , e g o to shadow. C . G . Jung d e v e l o p e d it during the height o f his o w n encounter with the unconscious and went o n to offer it to his o w n patients. It is not to b e confused with guided imagination, because w e d o it on our o w n without the participation o f another, nor with meditation, because this has a different aim, nor visualizations that serve the e g o ' s ends. T h e unconscious loves ritual. Because o f this before we start active imagination we may mark it ritually, perhaps b y lighting a candle, lighting incense, sitting in our special seat, whatever. T h e important point is that we signal to ourselves that this is an important and serious occasion where w e are preparing to o p e n to something larger then ourselves. A s with an experience o f grace, w e can not call the unconscious to order but we can offer a space where the numinous may c h o o s e to enter. A n attitude o f mindfully curious, kindly acceptance o f whatever o c c u r s , something or nothing, is essential. T h e r e are four stages to the exercise. 1.

It is first necessary to quiet the m i n d ' s chatter. Quite simply if w e sit to d o active imagination and find that w e are caught up in thinking then we will not be aware. I have talked extensively in Chapter 9 'Naked Presence' about h o w we d o this by using meditations that increase and perfect our concentration. H e r e we may use these m e t h o d s again, breathing

slowly and

mindfully is particularly

good.

H o w e v e r , unlike before, here we are not interested in leading eventually to a state o f contemplation. 2.

O n c e w e have quieted the m i n d , we allow the unconscious images to arise. T h i s is quite tricky. Firstly the level o f contact has to b e deeper than simply semiconscious thoughts circulating, perhaps containing m u c h wishful thinking. T o counter this we used the concentration initially. T h e next p r o b l e m is that the concentration is too acute and an image floats to the surface but remains fixed or m o v i n g little. T o solve this w e must relax more. A n d , finally, the opposite p r o b l e m to this is that the images c o m e too fast, like an inner film, and we are not connected to them. T o solve this we must focus more. Jung gives a g o o d example o f his first attempts in Chapter 6 o f his Dreams, Memories and Reflections. W e simply want to b e c o m e sufficiently quiet and calm so that when we stop meditating we have both d r o p p e d our consciousness d o w n , so that unconscious images may be contacted, and also are sufficiently mindful, so that we are aware that we are in contact and not simply sucked in and unconsciously identified.

3.

N o w we are in contact with the unconscious. T h i s may frequently be with images

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NIGEL WELLINGS o f characters that represent parts o f our psyche. Sub-personalities may arise spontaneously or alternatively we may have dreamt o f them previously and have entered the exercise with the intention o f furthering the relationship. T h i s is a c o m m o n starting point. Whether that which is encountered is human, an animal or an object, new or previously known, it is possible to speak to it and to hear what it has to say. W e merely have to start! I remember m y first goes were rather selfconscious and I distinctly felt I was making up the answers but at a certain point the figure answered back quite autonomously and from then o n felt like a distinct and separate person with w h o m I could meet and talk. A n initial suspension o f disbelief is helpful. O n c e the dialogue and exploration is established it is necessary to record it in some form. Generally people choose to write d o w n what has been said. T h i s may be d o n e while doing the exercise, like writing conversation in a play, or o n c e the meeting is complete, from the m e m o r y o f what has occurred. T r y both ways and see what suits. Y o u may also want to record the work in a painting or even with clay, music or dance. W h a t is important is that it is given s o m e physical expression that w e can later return to and reflect upon. James Hillman, talking o f his o w n attempts, said he wrote books o f dialogue but then never read them, this o f course is useless. Other problems are that the style and technique o f expression b e c o m e s m o r e important than the content or that the expression is given too little attention and is scrappy because we think it unimportant. Both attitudes are harmful.

4.

T h e final stage is the integration o f what we find into our lives. T h i s is like achieving The Task in a fairy tale and so is central. A confirmation o f this is that it is felt both emotionally and physically. T h e p r o b l e m at this point is that we may have been doing the whole thing as if it were real with the hidden thought that it is only fantasy. T h i s attitude guarantees w e are not really touched b y the work and ego

defences that rationalize or disengage as a way o f not feeling alienate the

numinous p o w e r o f the shadow. T h e whole value o f the exercise is that it facilitates change b y making contact with the shadow and this is b o u n d to be difficult and uncomfortable at times. N o t all initiations are fun. As I have said, active imagination is d o n e alone and then is brought into a session and further explored. It is used as part o f the vocabulary o f therapeutic technique. It is essential that the therapist does not make suggestions when the patient gets stuck but allows the patient to find their o w n way. T h i s is the work, to struggle with that inside o f us that unconsciously keeps us caught in old destructive patterns o f being. T o help is to infantilize. T h e therapist's place is to support integration. Active imagination should not be used b y s o m e o n e w h o has a fragile ego, w h o suffers borderline ego states or has a psychotic illness. In all cases it could easily d o harm.

FURTHER READING Jung, C. G. (1963). Memories, Dreams, Reflections. London: Collins/Roudedge and Kegan Paul. Hanna, B. (1981). Encounters with Soul: Active Imagination. Santa Monica: Sigo Press.

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S P O T I M A G I N G : T H E N E C K L A C E O F LIFE Nigel Wellings

The theory S p o t imaging represents the marriage o f Freud's free association method that leads directly to the c o m p l e x ' s and Jung's circumambulation method that remains close to the primary image. L i k e the first it has the ability to take the patient d o w n into forgotten/repressed c h i l d h o o d memories or seeming memories and like the second it connects with the synthetic and teleological needs o f the Self. S o it is the best o f both m e t h o d s and furthermore it facilitates a conscious connection to the material at a felt level.

Aims Transpersonal p s y c h o l o g y accepts the premise that unconscious material has the ability to constellate situations that reproduce the circumstances o f the original w o u n d i n g ; for example, the abandoned child as an adult chooses partners w h o always leave. Unless w e b e c o m e c o n s c i o u s o f this w e cannot make the choice to find a better alternative. Imaging enables us to d o this b y : • •

Identifying w o u n d patterns, c o m p l e x e s , habitual destructive behaviours. D e e p e n i n g a felt connection to these and the emotional pain they defend against and simultaneously re-create.

• •

A l l o w i n g an experience o f release, catharsis. D i s c o v e r i n g h o w to integrate new understanding into everyday life, h o w to handle the w o u n d in the best way and h o w to allow new energies to b e c o m e conscious. W e are not trying to ' c u r e ' complexes. If the c o m p l e x is conceived as a w o u n d that

brings us o u r o w n individual way o f being in the world and the repeated struggle with it, the means o f incarnating our particular destiny, then the w o u n d , the c o m p l e x , is also the healing and as such is the most valuable thing for 'soul making'. W h i l e obviously not all suffering is g o o d and most patients clearly want to feel better, it does remain true that s o m e o n e w h o has been through m u c h and has made meaning out of it does have a quality about them that is instinctively recognizable as g o o d . A r e we saying then that suffering when meaningful can b e c o m e g o o d ?

The practice T h e place for imaging is as part o f a repertoire o f therapeutic techniques and perceptions. K n o w i n g when not to use it, as well as when, is part o f its strength. It is

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NIGEL WELLINGS

not used when the patient resists, has a fragile ego structure or is already flooding the work with unconscious material. The

fundamental point is always follow the energy - all else follows from this.

An e x a m p l e session Typically a patient will speak o f an event, thoughts or feelings that are happening in their life. T h e therapist is in part listening to recognize a point of entry into the background, the shadow, o f this description. T h i s will be when s o m e event, thought or feeling appears highly charged when spoken of, or alternatively, if the patient presents a 'fiat description, when the therapist draws attention to something that may b e charged but remains just b e y o n d the immediate light o f the patient's e g o -

perhaps

something obviously painful but denied. O n c e the point o f entry has been identified the therapist may invite the patient to explore the material more closely. If this is acceptable, and the patient has absolute say, the patient will be requested to close their eyes and either focus on a feeling, a body gesture/posture or find an image that represents the subject of conversation. W h i c h o f these one asks for depends o n the situation and is usually apparent and obvious. Situations vary. A feeling is easily accessible for it is simply itself. Likewise, drawing attention to a gesture or posture is also immediate because o f its simplicity o f expression. H o w e v e r affect hidden within thoughts is m o r e obscure and thus easier to deny. Certain types o f people will find connecting with the feelings in the shadow m o r e easy than others. F o r example, those with a schizoid, narcissistic, masochistic or obsessive w o u n d , all o f which feature keeping control, will not have immediate access to their feelings, while those with oral, symbiotic and histrionic w o u n d s will seem to find it easier. Please note 'seem'. K n o w i n g the capacity o f the patient means not asking them to d o something they are not yet capable of. Furthermore, in some circumstances it is essential that the ego defences be left intact, for example when a weak e g o is threatened b y the shadow with the danger o f disintegration; under such circumstances this technique is contra-indicated. Following feelings tends to lead to historical events. Images may lead to feelings which in turn lead to events. B o d y sensations may also lead to feelings that lead to events. Both images and b o d y sensations equally carry unconscious material that first b e c o m e s conscious as emotion and then may b e thought about. H o w e v e r there are n o hard rules about what leads where. Images may also spiral into m o r e and m o r e images and then it is necessary to ground them in the b o d y and life if they are to be real. A tendency to avoid either feeling by staying in image or image b y staying in feeling should b e noted as this can show either a hesitancy to be emotionally e m b o d i e d or a fear o f a greater objective reflection. Encouragement to d o both achieves a desirable balance. To

continue: the patient n o w rests with their eyes closed and is focusing o n the

feeling they have just described. T h e therapist asks them to stay with this for a few m o m e n t s and to give a description o f what they are feeling while still keeping in contact with it. Something like: 'Just stay with that feeling and tell m e what y o u find.' T h i s is a skill: to simultaneously feel and observe. O n c e this is established the patient is asked

SPOT IMAGING: THE NECKLACE OF LIFE 217 if any situations, circumstances or events, that they may have experienced previously, c o m e to them, that share in the same or similar feelings. Generally this leads to an event in the near or distant past. T h e patient is then asked to stay with the m e m o r y o f this event and explore it fully via their different senses. W h a t d o they see, hear, smell, feel about the event? A l s o w h o is there, what is happening, h o w o l d are the participants, what are they feeling and d o i n g , and so on? T h e aim is to inhabit the m e m o r y at a feeling level, connecting with material that may have been forgotten or repressed. W h e n the scene is exhausted o f affect the therapist asks the patient to stay with the principal feeling that has emerged and, o n c e again, lead b y this, wait for a second situation to present itself which is then explored as with the first. T h e n when this is exhausted the principal feeling leads to the next event. T h u s the pattern b e c o m e s feeling, event, feeling, event, feeling, event, continuing until the conclusion. A n image for this is a necklace o f beads. T h e c o r d connecting the beads is the feelings that lead d o w n from conscious life into the inner world and then back up. T h e beads are the life events that are strung along the feelings and which the feelings penetrate and c o n n e c t . Neither c o r d nor beads have purpose without the other. Feeling imbues life with meaning, and situations, events, material history e m b o d y feeling. T h i s process also works from the starting-point o f the b o d y . Here we start with staying with a b o d y gesture, posture or sensation and 'see what c o m e s u p ' . T h i s will usually p r o d u c e feelings, so we continue as above. S o : b o d y , feeling, event, and so on. T h i s process also works with images. Slightly differently, the patient is asked to close their eyes and find an image for what they have been describing. H e r e , instead o f memories o f events c o n n e c t e d b y feelings, the necklace, one may find a series o f images connected b y feelings that may e m b o d y events from the past (an image o f a black hole that feels like m y mother's death), but equally may speak o f the present and future (a light o n the horizon that gives m e h o p e ) . O b v i o u s l y , images, as precursors to feeling and experience, are particularly inclined to look forward. S o : describing events, finding an image, feeling, image, feeling continuing. In s o m e ways working with images is particularly important because it powerfully connects the e g o to the symbolic language o f the d e e p imagination and the healing that this can confer. In this way it reaches d o w n through the personal unconscious and aligns us with our archetypal ground. A n d lastly they can all be mixed. S o : event, feeling, image, feeling, event, feeling, image, continuing u p and d o w n until the end. T h e overall shape o f the session is as follows. T h e patient begins the imaging sequence and perhaps travels through t w o , three or m o r e vignettes. T y p i c a l l y they will o p e n their eyes at a certain point which will indicate that they have returned to surface consciousness. A t this point it is necessary to assess whether this represents the need to rest and assimilate the material or merely a momentary surfacing that may b e redirected d o w n again. I f it is the first, then the therapist's task is to assist in the digestion, and i f the s e c o n d , to lead back d o w n . Again typically there may be intermittent periods o f descent and assimilation. T h e therapist uses their voice and questions/directs to reflect this choice. T o return, a quiet, non-invasive, neutral voice is used - 'shall we just close our eyes and return to that feeling?' - inviting a staying with feeling before resurfacing. O n c e the patient has

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resurfaced they may need a m o m e n t to recollect themselves. H e r e the therapist pauses, then uses a normal voice to help the return to a solid e g o . Questions evoking feeling are n o w replaced with questions that require the patient to b e objective about their o w n subjective material. T h i n k i n g , reflecting and meaning are central. A s J u n g says, individuation begins, not in experiencing affect, but in its objective perception. T h i s is achieved b y asking the patient what they have seen in the material brought to light and what they make o f it, h o w they think it might help and what it tells them, and h o w they may integrate it into their life. T h i s is the final part o f the session and it is important that the therapist carefully stage-manage the timing so that this last part is not rushed nor missed nor, to avoid this mismanagement, that the time boundaries o f the session b e extended so to complete. At this point it is appropriate for the therapist to summarize the session and reflect on what the theme may have been within it and its connection to previous work. A s with any interpretation, this must b e offered, not force fed, and the response noted and considered. W e are often wrong. Diagramatically the session looks like this:

Entry point (feeling, body gesture, image)

End (thoughtful reflection)

Surface consciousness

Surface

Surface

Memory vignettes or images

F i g u r e 4 Spot Imaging

THE

B O D Y IN T H E R A P Y Philippa Vick

T h i s is an introduction to working with the b o d y / e n e r g y . T h i s powerful m e t h o d requires both study and personal experience and so here I can only point out s o m e starting places and where to g o from there. T h e b o d y has its o w n natural w i s d o m which

THE BODY IN THERAPY 219 is c o m m u n i c a t e d through expression, m o v e m e n t , pleasure and pain. W e need to hear this w i s d o m because the society in which w e live primarily lives in its thoughts and is u n c o n s c i o u s o f the joy o f being alive as physical beings. B y listening and responding to our b o d i e s we are m o r e in touch with life and n o longer entirely run b y the m i n d ' s tendency to pursue disconnected desires. N o w let us look at h o w these principles may b e applied in therapy. The body in process T h e b o d y is constantly in c o m m u n i c a t i o n through facial expressions, tones o f voice, m o v e m e n t s and gestures, pathological s y m p t o m s and the patterns and rhythms o f breath. T h i s is a c o m m u n i c a t i o n o f the unconscious and unspoken life that o p e n s the client to a bigger picture and builds bridges into w h o they actually are. T h i s is not to i m p r o v e the client but a recognition that we are already w h o l e . In practice I focus o n the b o d y when it is calling attention to itself or when I meet a client w h o is alienated from their b o d y (nearly all o f us). In the session I see when the client is noticeably gesturing, m o v i n g , is physically incongruent with what they are saying, or conversely, if they are unnaturally still. T h e techniques o f spot imaging and F o c u s i n g b o t h enable the client to work with their b o d y ' s expression, not the content o f their stories but rather h o w they are in their stories. T h e content o f the story is called the primary process while the b o d y / e n e r g y communicates the secondary process ( M i n d e l 1984). T o work with the secondary processes I draw attention to the b o d y ' s expression and invite the client to slow d o w n and b e c o m e mindfully curious. T h i s is essential because the b o d y process works at a similar speed to the dream process and may not be worked with at the faster thinking speed. F o r example, a client is huddling d o w n while speaking. I ask them to notice h o w they are h o l d i n g their b o d y . W e find it is held, contracted. I can then ask what the b o d y is trying to d o . Perhaps their b o d y is trying to protect itself, to b e smaller, not there. F r o m this I w o u l d invite them to follow this process and simultaneously hear all the little signals within it. N o t change it but enter in m o r e fully. W e may find that behind or within the contraction is not only fear but also the repressed desire to expand. W i t h these t w o pulling against each other it is not surprising that the client lives in hover. Finally I w o u l d ask the client to consciously, and within their o w n control, experiment with both aspects o f the energy m o v e m e n t , contraction and expansion, and to notice this m o v e m e n t in their everyday life. N o t to change it but be conscious. Change then, if it o c c u r s , will b e spontaneous. T h e client's answers c o m e from their b o d y , not the c o n s c i o u s e g o (provided they have not answered t o o fast), and they n o w have an entry point to their secondary process and innate w i s d o m . F o r many o f us this will initially b e difficult because our heroic culture is dedicated to overriding most o f these messages but b y slowing and listening we can hear. The body as history carrier L e t us start with another example. A client c o m e s to their first session. I see s o m e o n e w h o has a s c o o p e d e m p t y chest that suggests undernourishment and their eyes appear

220 PHILIPPAVICK big and helpless, looking to m e for help. T h e i r b o d y may be thin and narrow, slumped, perhaps childlike, they breathe shallowly and have weak energy. T h e i r story is full o f emotional emptiness. All this may tell m e that this person has an oral w o u n d . T h a t is, feelings about being undernourished, possibly from the first months o f their life. T h i s physical/energetic, as well as emotional, presentation tells m e immediately the background issues that we will be exploring. O u r therapeutic relationship will revolve around barriers to receiving and feelings o f having nothing to give because o n e is empty. Beneath this is a desperate need for love and care and also anger for not being nourished originally. K n o w i n g this will help m e not to get hooked into being the all nourishing therapist/mother whose food is rejected yet longed for, nor o f falling into an identification where I too feel empty o f anything g o o d . O n c e there is enough trust in the relationship we may begin to work with this. Perhaps I see that a subject causes the client to b e c o m e m o r e ' s c o o p e d ' , like an empty bowl. I can then draw attention to this in the way described above. In this way the unconsciously habitual physical structure that carries emotional memories may b e c o m e conscious. In the example above part o f the exploration w o u l d b e to emphasize and exaggerate the b o d y structure and to ask if what they found was familiar to them. I d o this because I believe that our bodies, their postures and structures, h o w w e hold, m o v e and breathe, reflect unconscious decisions we took in childhood about h o w to survive. T h e s e choices n o w show as chronic and stable patterns, that persist through life, and that are so m u c h part o f us that we are n o longer aware o f them. N o w , in the present, i f this is made conscious, we have an opportunity to reflect u p o n these decisions and h o w they adversely effect our lives. In Chapter 4 o n ' T h e W o u n d ' we saw that specific psychopathologies may o c c u r at different periods within the infant's development. T h e s e woundings also show in the b o d y and its energy in specific ways. Reich, L o w e n , Keleman and n o w Kurtz and M i n d e l l have explored, developed and extended this understanding and it is from this perspective that I have been speaking. I can only touch o n the complexity o f this approach and for a fuller understanding it will b e necessary to g o to their work.

REFERENCES A N D FURTHER READING Keleman, S. (1975). Your Body Speaks Its Mind. Berkeley: Center Press. Kurtz, R. (1970). The Hakomi Handbook. Boulder: Hakomi Institute. Kurtz, R. and Prestera, H. (1984). The Body Reveals. San Francisco: Harper & Row. Lowen, A. (1976). Bioenergetics. London: Coventure. Mindell, A. (1984). Dream Body. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul. Mindell, A. (1985). Working with the Dreaming Body. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul.

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Index

abuse 32, 33, 38, 44, 56, 64, 86, 92, 95, 107, 111, 130, 132, 133, 134, 135, 146, 148, 151 sexual 27, 45, 94 acting out 7, 41, 48, 95, 101, 167, 184, 202 active imagination 206, 213, 214, 215 Adler, Alfred 60 adolescence 16, 39, 54, 6 1 - 3 , 64, 65, 66, 70, 72, 75, 82, 84, 85, 101-5, 106, 107, 108, 111, 115, 125, 126, 127, 129, 130, 134, 137, 161-2, 167, 168, 169, 192, 193 see also childhood Aescelepius 24 ageing 80, 129, 137, 139, 140, 169, 173 A I D S 134, 141 Albery, N . 121 alchemy 11, 22, 116, 146, 149, 174, 178 alchemical flask 24 alchemical processes 20, 24 alienation 4, 14, 24, 77, 89, 116, 125, 127, 192, 200, 214 Alzheimer's disease 140 Amman, R. 209 anatta 12 see also 'no-self; Buddhism anger 5, 18, 25, 3 1 , 3 4 , 35, 36, 40, 4 1 , 4 3 , 4 8 , 4 9 , 60, 6 7 , 6 9 , 70, 90, 93, 96, 107, 111, 124, 132, 137, 138, 139, 145, 200, 201, 204, 206, 220 anima/animus 9, 10, 11, 53, 79, 81-4, 108, 109, 112, 113, 114, 143, 144, 145, 149, 152, 153, 154, 170, 171, 181, 185, 186 Archetypal Psychology 3 archetypes 5, 6, 9, 10, 11, 12, 15, 16, 43, 52, 53, 54, 55, 60, 62, 64, 65, 74, 75, 78, 79, 80, 81-4, 85, 86, 87, 97, 103, 106, 107, 108, 109, 111, 113, 122, 130, 143, 144, 147, 149, 150, 161, 173, 178, 180, 181, 182,

185, 187, 190, 191, 192, 203, 217 archetypal image 9-10, 84 archetypal instinct 9-10, 11, 81-Φ, 86, 113, 115, 173, 192 archetypal structure 13, 22 Healer, the 5, 76, 77, 131, 137, 184 Magician, the 6, 80 Priest/ess, the 5, 80, 131, 183, 184 Seer, the 80, 137, 175, 181 Shaman, the 5, 76, 77, 79, 80, 175, 181, 184 Wise Man or Woman, the 5, 80, 131, 137, 140 Yogi, the 80 see also anima/animus; puer/ puella; Self, the; Shadow, the Aristotle 144 Assagioli, Roberto 2 'Assagioli's Egg' 160, 161 see also psychosynthesis assessment 4 1 - 2 , 45, 202 attachment 6, 27, 43, 50, 57, 84, 85, 86, 100, 111, 125, 191, 193, 194, 199, 203 autonomous complex structures 9 Baring, A. 143 Basic Open Ground 13 Beebe 153 Bion, W 37 birth 9, 16, 17, 26, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 63, 65, 68, 84, 86, 104, 119, 120, 125, 129, 133, 135, 137, 172, 173, 193 Black Elk 175 'blank screen' 22 Bly, R. 130 body language 25, 42, 46, 67, 71, 219, 220 Bollas, C. 58 boundaries, professional 5, 20, 24, 25, 127 Bowlby, J. 56, 57, 62, 144 breathing 3, 67, 71, 100, 176, 187, 198, 201,203, 2 0 4 , 2 1 3 , 2 1 9 , 220

Brown, Ian Gordon 2, 8, 128, 140, 195, 197 Buddhism 2, 3, 8, 12, 13, 15, 16, 17, 18, 23, 74, 88, 177, 178, 180, 188, 190, 191, 193, 194, 197, 199, 204 Caduceus 24 Campbell, J. 53, 75, 111, 128 Cardinale, M . 22 Cashford, J. 144, 147, 148 catharsis 6, 55, 215 Centre for Transpersonal Psychology 1, 2, 3, 12, 178, 222 see also Brown, Ian Gordon; Somers, Barbara 'character styles' 1, 8 5 - 6 , 89, 97, 98 masochistic character {see also masochism) 9 3 - 4 narcissistic character (see also narcissism) 9 1 - 2 Oedipal character (see also Oedipus myth) 9 4 - 6 oral character 8 7 - 9 schizoid character 86-7 symbiotic character 89-91 childhood 1, 7, 26, 41, 45, 53, 54-64, 65, 66, 68, 70, 71, 72, 82, 85, 86-97, 120, 158-61, 166, 215, 220 see also adolescence Christianity 16, 17, 54, 55, 120, 138, 144, 178, 182, 186 see also Jesus Christ Clarkson, P. 26 Cleese, John 58 Clements, F. E. 77 collective unconscious 9, 13, 66, 78, 104, 122, 143, 161, 190-1 Colman, W . 154 Coltart, N . 30, 43 compassion 3, 23, 28, 29, 35, 36, 52, 53, 70, 71, 72, 75, 134, 183, 187, 189, 191, 203, 209 confession 20, 78 confidentiality 45 Confucius 24 see also I Chtng Connell, R. 144

INDEX conscious/ness 3, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12, 1 5 , 2 1 , 3 0 , 32, 46, 52, 53, 54, 56, 57, 60, 61, 62, 66, 78, 79, 85, 88, 94, 98, 99, 100, 104, 110, 112, 113, 114, 117, 119, 120, 121, 125, 145, 147, 148, 149, 150, 152, 158, 160, 161, 162, 166, 167, 170, 179, 181, 183, 186, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 203, 204, 206, 207,211,212,214,215,216, 217,218,219 see also non-dual consciousness counter-transference 30, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 134 see also transference Dahl, Roald 56 death 9, 22, 45, 49, 53, 64, 80, 84, 85, 97, 98, 102, 103, 111, 112, 114, 116, 119, 120, 121, 124, 125, 133, 135, 136, 137, 138, 140, 141, 146, 148, 167, 170, 172, 173, 174, 176, 194, 217 denial 93, 99, 111, 115, 170, 194, 216 see also repression depression 18, 33, 36, 40, 42, 47, 49, 68, 70, 77, 7 9 , 8 1 , 8 4 , 86, 8 8 , 9 1 , 9 3 , 98, 107, 135, 137, 139, 140, 141 Developmental Psychology 3 'dcvclopmentally needed relationship' 26 Diana, Princess of Wales 148, 149, 153 Dickens, Charles 56 diffuse attention 12, 13, 14 Dionysus 125, 150, 154 dissociative disorder 44 Donaldson, M 192 dreams 1, 13, 15, 18, 36, 45, 46, 49, 6 1 , 6 7 , 76, 98, 99, 103, 109, 112, 120, 121, 122, 129, 135, 141, 150, 157-76, 179, 180, 181, 187, 208, 2 0 9 , 2 1 1 , 2 1 2 , 213, 2 1 4 , 2 1 9 nightmares 135, 162, 167, 170, 173 drugs 3, 64, 83 L S D 141, 187 Dylan, Bob 58, 127 Edinger, Ε 14, 15, 24, 78, 97, 135 ego 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, 15, 22, 23, 27, 28, 32, 37, 39, 43, 49, 56, 59, 62, 63, 74, 78, 79, 85, 87, 97, 98, 99, 101, 106, 107, 109, 110, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 119, 122, 125, 127, 129, 130, 135, 136, 138, 143, 149, 150, 161, 162, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172,

173, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 185, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 195, 197, 2 0 1 , 2 0 2 , 206, 213,214,215,216,217,218, 219 inflated 10, 63, 111, 136 Emerson, Ralph Waldo 170 empathy 29, 34, 68, 72, 134 emptiness 3, 8, 10, 16, 68, 88, 92, 100, 132, 199, 220 Engler, J. 8, 99, 194, 197 enlightenment 3, 13, 15, 18, 100, 177, 191, 204, 208 Epstein, M . 1, 7, 8, 17, 98, 99, 197 Erikson, Ε. H . 109, 110 Eros 22, 3 5 - 6 , 38, 50, 56, 146, 147, 148, 149, 153, 154 Euripides 150 Evans, Joan 2 'facilitating environment' 25, 26 Fairbairn 31 fairy tales 52, 56, 57, 59, 60, 75, 91, 96, 120, 148, 157, 167, 169, 181, 182,214 fantasies 8, 38, 39, 42, 48, 49, 86, 8 7 , 9 1 , 9 8 , 100, 103, 120, 128, 148, 154, 157, 167, 169, 180, 181, 182, 184, 185, 193, 197, 214 'felt sense' 6, 12, 21, 46, 68, 69, 181, 196, 201, 206, 207, 208 'felt shift'21, 68, 196,208 feminine/feminimity 22, 62, 65, 66, 103, 104, 108, 111, 112, 113, 114, 119, 131, 134, 143-5, 181, 185 see also anima; Eros focal attention 12, 14 focusing 21, 189, 195, 196, 200, 202, 203, 206, 207, 208, 214, 216,217,219 folk-talcs 103, 104, 106, 122 Fordham, M . 15 Foster, S. 125 Frankel, R 65 Frazer, Sir James 120 free association 195, 215 French, M . 147 Freud, Sigmund 1, 20, 21, 56, 145, 148, 178, 179, 182, 194, 195, 215 see also free association; psychoanalysis gender 1, 61, 143, 144, 147, 150, 170 see also feminine; masculine Gendlin, E. 12, 22, 195, 196, 206 Gilbert, W . S. 151 Gilligan, C. 148 Goldstein, J. 197 Graves, Robert 54, 55, 61, 108 Greer, Germaine 55, 137

223

Grimm Brothers 104 Grof, S. 2, 56, 57, 187, 188, 189, 199 'ground of being' 23 Guggenbuhl-Craig, A. 118, 184 guilt 2 7 , 3 1 , 3 3 , 40, 77, 78, 88, 90, 93, 106, 127, 141 Hahn, Thich Nhat 23 hatred 31, 32, 33, 36, 49, 58, 60, 63, 71 HaynesJ. 149 healing 3, 6, 20, 22, 23, 26, 30, 38, 45, 67, 68, 76, 77, 88, 92, 93, 94, 96, 136, 152, 165, 177, 182, 183, 191, 199, 200, 206, 2 0 8 , 2 0 9 , 2 1 5 , 217 hedewa 13 Hesse, Hermann 20, 87 Hillman, J. 3, 38, 50, 103, 104, 128, 144, 152, 153, 185,214 Hinduism 16, 17, 136, 178, 192 Homer 110, 122, 152 homosexuality 27, 63, 71, 104, 106, 107, 133, 134, 153 Hopcke, R. 153 Hornung, E. 120 Hull, R. F. C 145 humour 47, 94, 172 / Chng (Book of Changes) 24, 28, 124, 149 impotence 107, 114 individuation 9, 11, 21, 23, 40, 49, 50, 62, 76, 98, 136, 179, 182, 190, 192, 193, 218 Institute of Psychosynthesis 2 see also Evans, Joan intuition 47, 75 Islam 16 Jacobi,J. 114 Jacoby, M . 38 James, William 1 Jesus Christ 55, 121, 125 see also Christianity Johnson, R 37 Johnson, S. M 57, 61, 62, 94, 96 Jordan, M 55 Journal of Transpersonal Psychotherapy 1-2 Judaism 16, 138, 144, 178, 186 Jung, Carl 2, 3, 4, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 20, 21, 22, 50, 52, 57, 80, 97, 98, 107, 108, 115, 122, 128, 130, 131, 134, 136, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 152, 153, 154, 172, 173, 174, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 185, 186, 190, 191, 195, 213,214,215,218 see also active imagination, archetypes; collective unconscious

224

INDEX

Kalff, Dora (sandplay) 209 Kast, V. 153 Klein, Melanie31, 144, 151 Klossow de Rola, S. 146 Koestler, Arthur 2 Kohlberg, L. 62 Kohut, H. 38, 56, 62 Kornfield, J. 101, 197, 198, 202, 203 Kurtz, R. ('psychopath') 92 Larkin, Philip 122 Laub, D . 45 Lessing, Doris 140 Levene, S. 22 Lewis, C. S. 138 Liefï,J. D . 9 8 , 9 9 liminality 98, 103, 104, 113, 116 listening 20, 25, 29, 75, 76, 134, 210, 219, 220 Little, M . 125 Logos 144, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 154 Lopez-Pedraza, R. 150 loss/bereavement 17, 43, 49, 57, 60, 70, 97, 106, 109, 111, 113, 114, 124, 125, 126, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 172, 173 love 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 20, 25, 31, 33, 36, 43, 46, 47, 50, 53, 56, 58, 59, 61, 62, 68, 82, 88, 90, 94, 95, 96, 108, 111, 112, 114, 125, 128, 132, 134, 139, 140, 141, 166, 172, 182, 186, 187, 189, 200, 201, 203, 220 Lowenfeld, Margaret ('World Technique') McCormick, E. W . 55, 194 McGuire, W . 145 M c L e o d J . 206 Madhi, L. C. 106, 125 Mahler, M . 56, 62 masculine/masculinity 22, 62, 65, 103, 104, 113, 114, 119, 130, 131, 143-55, 181 see also animus; Logos Maslow, A. H . 2, 27, 186, 203 masochism 36, 74, 93, 96, 101, 216 Masson, J. 22 meditation/contemplation 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 16, 2 0 , 2 1 , 25, 67, 75, 98, 99, 100, 158, 173, 177, 178, 180, 182, 183, 184, 191, 195, 196, 197, 199, 202, 203, 213, 214 insight meditation 8 memory/ies 44, 45, 84, 99, 111, 140, 1 9 5 , 2 1 4 , 2 1 5 , 2 1 7 , 2 1 8 , 220 menopause 104, 125, 135, 137, 138 menstruation 66, 82, 104, 127, 167, 168 'mid-life crisis' 97, 100, 135, 137 Miller, Alice 29, 63

Miller, Arthur 150 Milne, A. A. 59 Milton, John 146 Mindell, A. 219

projection 32, 33, 37, 38, 43, 47, 57, 6 0 , 7 1 , 9 0 , 93, 99, 107, 110, 111, 113, 114, 117, 150, 152, 182

mindfulness 5, 6, 7, 16, 18, 23, 30, 34, 36, 47, 5 2 , 6 7 , 7 1 , 7 2 , 99, 189, 191, 192, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 206, 213, 214, 219 see also meditation/contemplation mirroring 27, 39, 46, 53, 55, 57, 67, 89, 92, 104, 129, 162, 180, 192 Monroe, Marilyn 150, 153, 154 Moore, T . 66 mother complex 107, 108, 109, 113 see also Oedipus myth multiple personality 44 Murray-Parkes, C. 138, 139 mysticism 10, 21, 188, 189 myths 11, 15, 16, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 65, 66, 67, 72, 74, 75, 77, 103, 104, 106, 108, 115, 120, 125, 143, 144, 151, 154, 157, 173, 178, 186, 187, 191, 192, 209,211 see also archetypes; symbols

see also transference pseudo spirituality 4 Psyche 22, 50, 172 psychoanalysis 1, 7, 21, 22, 47, 92, 153, 178 psychosynthesis 2, 161 Psychosynthesis and Education Trust 2 see also Whitmore, Diana puer/puella 63, 82, 108, 128, 130

narcissism 16, 29, 38, 39, 40, 44, 74, 9 1 , 9 2 , 97, 98, 100, 101, 104, 110, 116, 1 8 4 , 2 1 6 , 2 1 6 neurosis 23 New Age 179 non-dual consciousness 11, 15, 183, 190, 198, 199 Norbu, N. 197 'no-self 12, 16 object relations 3, 22, 26, 30, 31, 192 object, transformational 27, 58 object, transitional 59, 167, 168 obsessive-compulsive disorder 96, 101 Oedipus myth 56, 61, 62, 94, 96 see also mother complex Ogden31 Ovid 91 Pauli Haddon, G. 153 Perera, S. B. 66, 125, 130 persona 6, 10, 1 1 , 7 1 , 8 5 , 88, 93, 135, 136, 153, 171 Personal Ground 12, 14 personality disorders 40, 85 Peter Pan 75 PiagetJ. 58, 62 Plato 15, 131 power 5, 130 misuse of 5, 24, 130 presenting symptoms 21, 23 professional training 24, 25, 26, 34, 72, 184 Progoff, I. 2

racism 63, 134 RafT,J. A ('felt vision') 180 rapid eye movement 157 see also dreams Rayner, Ε. 117 rebirth 84, 97, 111, 114, 125, 136, 173, 186 see also reincarnation 'reciprocal role procedure' 31, 34 records 45 regression 4, 8, 17, 25, 89, 98, 99, 106, 110, 112, 113, 114, 170, 178, 179, 182, 194, 195 reincarnation 17 see also Buddhism; Hinduism; rebirth religion see Buddhism; Christianity; Hinduism, Islam; Judaism; Taoism repression 7, 9, 32, 40, 60, 67, 68, 7 9 , 8 1 , 8 6 , 88, 90, 93, 110, 111, 115, 117, 148, 160, 162, 189, 1 9 2 , 2 1 5 , 2 1 7 , 2 1 9 see also denial resurrection 112, 120, 121, 125, 176 Rieu, Ε. V. 110 Rimpoche, Chogyam Trungpa 98 Romanticism 182 Ryle, A. 31, 133 sadism 36, 96, 107 St George (and the Dragon) 108, 109 Samuels, A. 75 sandplay 68, 70, 71, 206, 208, 209, 210 Schaverien, Joy 50 Schierse-Leonard, L. 128, 131 Schneidman, E. 49 Schwartz-Salant, N . 40 Self, the 4, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 2 1 , 2 2 , 24, 27, 28, 32, 37, 39, 50, 53, 56, 74, 78, 79, 84, 85, 8 9 , 9 1 , 9 2 , 9 5 , 9 7 , 98, 100, 114, 115, 116, 119, 125, 131, 135, 137, 138, 157, 161, 167, 168, 169, 170, 172, 173, 178, 179, 181, 183, 186, 187, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 198, 199, 2 0 1 , 2 0 3 , 2 0 4

INDEX self representations 8 sex/sexuality 27, 36, 61, 64, 66, 71, 82, 94, 95, 96, 97, 99, 104, 105, 110, 113, 114, 115, 127, 129, 132, 133, 134, 135, 144, 147, 148, 150, 154, 169, 170, 171 shadow, the 6, 7, 9, 10, 24, 30, 32, 4 0 , 4 1 , 5 3 , 5 9 , 6 1 , 6 4 , 77, 78, 7 9 , 8 1 , 8 2 , 83, 85, 86, 8 7 , 9 1 , 93, 96, 97, 107, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 117, 121, 148, 152, 153, 162, 168, 170, 171, 180, 181, 186, 187, 189, 192, 197, 2 0 0 , 2 1 2 , 2 1 3 , 2 1 4 , 2 1 6 Shakespeare, William 53, 56, 61, 65, 71, 117 Shearer, A. 144, 148, 149, 150 Shelley, Mary (Frankenstein) 162, 164, 165, 170 Showalter, E. 145, 152 sibling rivalry 59, 60, 61 Singer, J. 130, 146 Situational Ground 12, 14 Skinner, R. 58 Somers, Barbara 2, 78, 97, 195 soul 12, 17, 2 0 , 2 1 , 2 5 , 28, 35, 38, 39, 47, 48, 50, 52, 53, 56, 66, 72, 76, 77, 78, 79, 81, 97, 108, 111, 115, 119, 121, 128, 137, 143, 144, 150, 153, 154, 176, 185, 186, 203 soul making 3, 50, 185, 186, 187, 215 spirit 12, 21, 77, 143, 172, 185, 203 spirituality 3, 4, 11, 12, 15, 16, 17, 20, 23, 72, 74, 84, 87, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 109, 115, 116, 119, 131, 141, 144, 177, 178, 179, 180, 182, 184, 186, 188, 196, 198, 200, 202, 203, 204, 208 see also mysticism splitting 31, 60, 66, 68, 90, 99, 100, 111, 184 spot imaging 21, 195, 196, 206, 215, 216,217,218,219 Sproul, B. 108 Star Wars 62, 209 Stein, R. 35 Steinem, G. 150 Stevens, Anthony 56, 77, 80 'frustration of archetypal intent' 80

suffering 3, 6, 7, 16, 23, 26, 27, 28, 29, 53, 57, 67, 74, 76, 77, 85, 95, 97, 100, 126, 183, 187, 190, 191, 193, 194, 195, 202, 203, 215 see also wound/wounding suicide 44, 48, 49, 81, 83, 98, 112, 116, 130 Sullwold, E. 106 surrogate family 101 Sutcliffe, Rosemary 56 Sutich, A. 2 symbiotic character 89 symbols/symbolism 10, 11, 21, 27, 32, 5 5 , 6 1 , 6 5 , 75, 76, 80, 95, 102, 107, 108, 111, 113, 114, 120, 121, 125, 147, 152, 180, 187, 192, 194, 210, 217 taboos 61, 77, 82, 109 Taoism 178 Tart, C. T . 101 therapeutic relationship I, 5, 6, 17, 18, 20-50, 52, 67, 102, 220 transference 21, 22, 23, 26, 30, 32, 35, 37, 38, 39, 40, 42, 43, 46, 50, 68, 77 erotic 21, 3 5 - 6 negative 35, 43 see also counter-transference transformation 27, 32, 52, 59, 63, 67, 68, 98, 103, 115, 116, 125, 141, 146, 174, 181, 183, 186, 209, 212 transformational space 28 Transpersonal Ground 13, 14 Tsu, Chuang 157 Turner, Tina 74 Unconditional Presence 8, 196, 200-1 unconscious/ness 4, 6, 7, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 2 1 , 2 5 , 28, 29, 30, 3 1 , 3 2 , 34, 39, 40, 4 1 , 4 8 , 52, 53, 54, 5 9 , 6 0 , 6 6 , 7 1 , 7 6 , 77, 78, 79, 85, 88, 90, 93, 95, 99, 102, 103, 104, 108, 110, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 120, 121, 135, 143, 149, 158, 160, 161, 162, 166, 167, 170, 171, 175, 179, 180, 182, 186, 187, 191, 192, 194, 202, 2 0 6 , 2 1 1 , 2 1 3 , 2 1 5 , 2 1 6 , 2 1 7 , 2 1 9 , 220 see also collective unconscious

225

Vaughan, F. 189, 190 vessel, the 1,5, 20, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 30, 32, 34, 36, 37, 38, 42, 43, 45, 52, 68, 95, 146, 184 violence 33, 38, 41, 44, 48, 55, 64, 93, 96, 121, 124, 132, 151, 152 Von Franz, M . L. 59, 120, 121, 128, 141, 174 Vygotsky, L 58 Walker, B. 54, 66 Washburn, M . 62, 97, 114, 116 Wehr, D . 146 WeiBenberger, M 106 'wellness' 24 Welwood, John 12, 14, 27, 72, 180, 182, 183, 184, 190, 191, 193, 195, 196, 197, 199, 200, 201 see also Basic Open Ground; diffuse attention; focal attention; Personal Ground; Situational Ground, Transpersonal Ground Whitmont, E. C. 131 Whitmore, Diana 2 wholeness 11, 21, 22, 50, 68, 81, 97, 145, 172, 173, 181 Wickes, F. 166 Wilber, Ken 10, 11, 12, 13, 62, 99, 179, 188, 189, 190, 191 'Spectrum of Consciousness' 10 Wilhelm, R. 149 Wilton, A. 55 Winnicott, D . W . 25, 34, 47, 53, 67, 138, 140, 144 see also 'facilitating environment'; object, transitional witnessing 25, 47, 53, 67, 184, 187, 188, 189, 190, 196, 197, 198, 199, 2 0 1 , 2 0 2 , 204, 2 0 9 , 2 1 0 Wizard ofOz, The 53, 62 Woodman, M . 54, 65, 66, 130 WoolgerJ. B. 17, 131 Woolger, R.J. 131 Wordsworth, William 55 wound/wounding 1, 4, 6, 17, 25, 26, 28, 3 0 , 3 1 , 3 2 , 37, 3 9 , 4 0 , 4 1 , 4 3 , 50, 54, 65, 68, 70, 74-102, 130, 134, 184, 194, 2 0 4 , 2 1 5 , 2 1 6 , 220 see also suffering Yeats, William Butler 117, 118, 119

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