Writing Research Proposals for Social Sciences and Humanities in a Higher Education Context [1 ed.] 9781527530898, 9781527528451

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Writing Research Proposals for Social Sciences and Humanities in a Higher Education Context



Writing Research Proposals for Social Sciences and Humanities in a Higher Education Context By

George Damaskinidis and Anastasia Christodoulou

Writing Research Proposals for Social Sciences and Humanities in a Higher Education Context By George Damaskinidis and Anastasia Christodoulou This book first published 2019 Cambridge Scholars Publishing Lady Stephenson Library, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE6 2PA, UK British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library Copyright © 2019 by George Damaskinidis and Anastasia Christodoulou All rights for this book reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner. .

ISBN (10): 1-5275-2845-6 ISBN (13): 978-1-5275-2845-1

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P\LQDELOLW\WRJRWRWKHXQLYHUVLW\GXHWRSHUVRQDOFRPPLWPHQWVHWF >E@ 'DWD LQWHUSUHWDWLRQ SUREOHPV 7KHUH PD\ EH DUWLFOH SRVLWLRQV RU IXQFWLRQVWKDW,FDQQRWLQWHUSUHWRUH[SODLQHWF >F@(WKLFDOLVVXHVSDUWLFLSDQWV¶UHIXVDOWRKDYHWKHLUXWWHUDQFHVUHFRUGHG RQSDSHU  As regards [a], it has already been established that the total number of participants is not an important parameter, since the research has a qualitative approach. The problem is therefore limited to the need to have an equal number of Greek and English participants. One solution to the research site problem would be to provide participants the option of having their utterances recorded in their personal environment. In [b], identified article positions that are not often encountered in the literature would be considered unique and special cases. Not only is this not a problem, it is in fact an indication that the research has contributed to knowledge with new data and results. For this reason, [b] needs to be rephrased so that it is not misinterpreted as a failure on the part of the proposer to interpret a known grammatical phenomenon. If an individual wishes to participate in the study but does not consent to his utterances being recorded, then there is no reason for him to be a research participant [c]. In such cases, the proposer should send a brief email to the individual, thanking him for his intention to participate in the study. 6RXUFHVRILQVSLUDWLRQ >D@8QGHUJUDGXDWHVWXGLHVLQWKHODQJXDJHDQGOLWHUDWXUHGHSDUWPHQWRI WKH8QLYHUVLW\RI$WKHQV >E@ *UHHN V\QWD[ FRXUVHV DWWHQGHG DW WKH 8QLYHUVLW\ RI $WKHQV DQG $ULVWRWOH8QLYHUVLW\RI7KHVVDORQLNL >F@(QJOLVKV\QWD[FRXUVHVDQGJHQHUDWLYHWKHRU\VHPLQDUVDWWHQGHGDW +DUYDUG8QLYHUVLW\VXPPHULQWHUQVKLS  >G@ 5HOHYDQW OLWHUDWXUH VWXGLHG GXULQJ P\ XQGHUJUDGXDWH DQG PDVWHU¶V VWXGLHV7KHRIDQRSRXORX.RQWRX    In [a], [b] and [d], the particular way in which these courses were inspiring needs to be clarified to convince the prospective supervisor that the proposer has in-depth knowledge of the topic. Point [c] is a unique opportunity for the proposer to show his research-related superiority over other candidates.



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3URSRVDO  3URSRVDOWLWOH 7KH IHPDOH ILJXUH LQ 'DQWH¶V Divine Comedy LQ 3HWUDUFK¶V Il Canzoniere DQG LQ %RFFDFFLR¶V The Decameron 7KH FKDUDFWHU RI WKH LGHDO ZRPDQ WKURXJK WKH ZULWLQJV RI WKH WKUHH WKFHQWXU\ SRHWV &RPSDUDWLYHVWXG\  The title is comprehensible but there is room for improvement, given that only two sentences are permitted: a title and a subtitle. For example, if we take it for granted that these works are well known, omitting the writers’ names would make it possible to merge the three sentences into one. A possible variation of the main title could be “The character of the ideal woman in the 'LYLQH &RPHG\ ,O &DQ]RQLHUH and 7KH 'HFDPHURQ´ The subtitle can then include different details that reflect the study’s theoretical and methodological approach. .H\ZRUGV %HDWULFH/DXUD)LDPPHWWDIHPDOHILJXUH'DQWH3HWUDUFK%RFFDFFLR LGHDOZRPDQ'LYLQH&RPHG\,O&DQ]RQLHUH3DUDGLVH'HFDPHURQ  The proposer has the right idea with the key words, but there should be fewer. Possible candidates for removal from the list include “ideal woman”, “female figure” and “Paradise”. 5HVHDUFKWRSLF±5HVHDUFKILHOG±7KHPHV >D@+RZGRZRPHQDSSHDULQ'DQWH¶VDivine ComedyLQ3HWUDUFK¶VIl Canzoniere DQG LQ %RFFDFFLR¶V The Decameron" $ FRPSDULVRQ EHWZHHQ WKHP 6LPLODULWLHV DQG GLIIHUHQFHV LQ RWKHU ZRUGV WKH FKDUDFWHU WUDLWV DQG H[WHUQDO IHDWXUHV VHH SKRWRV QR   DQG   RI ZRPHQLQWKHWKUHHSRHWV¶ZRUNVZLOOEHLQYHVWLJDWHG'RWKH\SHUFHLYH WKHIHPDOHILJXUHLQWKHVDPHZD\RUDUHWKHUHGLIIHUHQFHV" >E@'DQWHDQG3HWUDUFKDUHEHOLHYHGWRVHHSXUHWUDLWVLQDZRPDQDQG JLYH KHU D PRUH FHOHVWLDO DSSHDUDQFH ZKLOH %RFFDFFLR VHHV KHU PRUH FDUQDOO\3HWURQLR %HDWULFHLQ'DQWHLVWKHVXEVWLWXWHRIDQROGHU FXOW RI WKH *UHDW 0RWKHU *RGGHVV +RZHYHU DIWHU KHU GLUHFW ZRUVKLS ZDV VWRSSHG E\ WKH QHZ UHOLJLRXV VWDWXV TXR VKH IRXQG DQ DOWHUHG FRQWLQXDWLRQ LQ WKH SHUVRQ RI -HVXV¶ PRWKHU 0DU\ :RPHQ LQ WKH 0LGGOH $JHV ZHUH YLHZHG DV WKH LWHU DG 'HXP ³WKH ZD\ WRZDUGV *RG´ RUXVLQJDQRWKHUV\QRQ\PRXVH[SUHVVLRQ³DVWDLUZD\WRKHDYHQ´ %RXVERXNLV ,ZLOOLQYHVWLJDWHLIWKLVLVWUXHDQGZKHUHH[DFWO\

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ZHFDQILQGWKHVHGDWDWUDLWVLQWKHZRUNVRIWKHWKUHHWKDWUHIHUWRWKH IHPDOHILJXUHLQWKHWKFHQWXU\  >F@ 7KH LQWHUHVWLQJ SDUW OLHV LQ WKH IDFW WKDW WKH\ DSSURDFK WKH IHPDOH ILJXUHGLIIHUHQWO\DQGWKLVLVZKDW,ZLOOWU\WRFRQILUPLQWKLVVWXG\  In [a], finding similarities and differences does not constitute a research topic, no matter the context. The description could start with a discussion of female traits. The question at the end doesn’t really belong in this section. The addition of photographs (not shown here) is a positive element, but their use in the proposal needs to be justified. In [b], the topic is described quite well, the sole observation possibly being that a brief description is needed of the three writers’ general standpoints on women in their other works, as well as justification of the choice of these particular works. Paragraph [b] begins with an assumption about women but the reader doesn’t know if this is found only in the particular works or in the rest as well. In [c], the interest doesn’t stem from the fact that the writers have different standpoints, but from the way in which these standpoints differ (e.g. if they are diametrically opposite) among the writers and from the stereotypical views of the female gender during that particular socio-historical period. At this point, perhaps the proposer should revisit the proposal’s title. 4XHVWLRQV±K\SRWKHVHV±PRGHO >D@5HVHDUFK4XHVWLRQ $UH WKHUH GLIIHUHQFHV DQG VLPLODULWLHV LQ WKH ZD\ IHPDOH WUDLWV DUH SUHVHQWHGLQWKHWKUHHZRUNV" *LYHQWKDWLWLVWKHVDPHWLPHSHULRG DQGWKHVDPHUHJLRQ DOOWKUHHZHUHERUQDQGOLYHGLQQRUWKHUQ,WDO\ LWZRXOGEHLQWHUHVWLQJ WRVHHLIDOOWKUHHVHHZRPHQLQWKHVDPHZD\ >E@5HVHDUFK+\SRWKHVLV  0RUHRYHU WKH UHVHDUFK K\SRWKHVLVWKHRU\ LV WKDW %RFFDFFLR VHHV ZRPHQ DV PRUH HDUWK\ DQG FDUQDO 3HWURQLR   ZKLOH 'DQWH DQG 3HWUDUFKJLYHWKHPDPRUHFHOHVWLDODQJHOLFIRUPERWKLQWHUPVRIWKHLU FKDUDFWHUDQGWKHLUDSSHDUDQFH  The question may not be needed since it is contained within the research hypothesis, which is also accompanied by a reference, at least for the first part. The hypothesis can be described in brief using the comments made in the previous section. What is not clear here is where this hypothesis and the need to investigate it stem from. For example, if this hypothesis has been considered in some way by other researchers in the past, then the



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study is not anchorless but is based on a specific bibliography. The number “1” refers to an endnote written in Italian (omitted here). Besides the incorrect use of the indicator and the foreign language, it would be more useful if it was included in this section. 7KHRUHWLFDODQGFRQFHSWXDOIUDPHZRUN >D@ , ZLOO DSSURDFK WKH VWXG\ YLD WKH JHQGHU VWXGLHV WKHRU\ *QLVFL   EHFDXVH , ZLOO EH LQYHVWLJDWLQJ KRZ WKUHH WKFHQWXU\ SRHWV LPDJLQH DQG SUHVHQW WKH LGHDO ZRPDQ ,Q RWKHU ZRUGV , KDYH FKRVHQ JHQGHU WKHRU\ WR VHH KRZ ZRPHQ DUH SUHVHQWHG LQ WKHVH ZRUNV $FFRUGLQJWRJHQGHUVWXGLHVWKHRU\DQGDV9LUJLQLD:RROIPHQWLRQVLQ A room of one’s own, LQOLWHUDWXUHPDOHZULWHUVSUHVHQWZRPHQHLWKHU± WKURXJKDQLGHDOLVHGLPDJH±DVDQJHOLFFUHDWLRQVRUDVPRQVWHUVHJ ZLWFKHV 9LUJLQLD:RROI  >E@ $QG RI FRXUVH VLQFH WKLV LPDJH GRHV QRW UHSUHVHQW UHDO ZRPHQ IHPDOH UHDGHUV ILQG LW GLIILFXOW WR LGHQWLI\ ZLWK VXFK KHURLQHV :KDW WUDLWV GRHV ZRPDQ DVVXPH QRW RQO\ LQ KHU DSSHDUDQFH ± H[WHUQDOO\ ± EXWDOVRDVDFKDUDFWHUDQGZKDWUROHLVVKHJLYHQLQWKHVHZRUNV  In [a], the superscript by the word “studies” refers to an endnote, once again in Italian. What needs to be clarified is whether Woolf’s claim pertains to the particular socio-historical period or if it is a general stereotypical view of men or women through the ages. In [b], a number of references are needed to substantiate this image of women and the viewpoint of female readers. The next sentence in [b] is more like a question and needs to be worked on. 3UDFWLFDOFRQWULEXWLRQ 7KHFRQFOXVLRQVZLOOVKRZLIDOOWKUHHKDGWKHVDPHYLHZRQZRPHQLQ WKHWKFHQWXU\  The fact that this is literary research makes it more difficult to find its practical application, at least to the same extent as other fields of study. However, if an attempt is made to find such an application, it might help to improve the proposal’s design. For example, there might be other researchers who attempted to study a similar issue in other writers’ works or in a different but related topic in the particular socio-historical period. It would benefit the proposer to point out that the anticipated results will contribute to future studies which will shed light on specific facets of earlier studies.

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5HVHDUFKRULHQWDWLRQ >D@7KLVLVDFDVHVWXG\EHFDXVHDFDVHVWXG\PHDQVWKH³development of detailed, intensive knowledge about a single case or of a small number of related cases´5REVRQ . 7KHOLWHUDU\ILHOGOHQGVLWVHOI WRWKHVWXG\RIDUHSUHVHQWDWLYHSLHFHRIZRUNE\DQDXWKRURUWKHVWXG\ RIDUHSUHVHQWDWLYHZULWHURIDSDUWLFXODUOLWHUDU\VFKRRORUWUHQG$WKLQD .RPQLQRX  JLYHQ WKDW XVXDOO\ D GLIIHUHQW VWUDWHJ\ FDQQRW EH XVHG LQ FDVHV ZKHUH WKH UHVHDUFK FRQFHUQV OLWHUDU\ ILJXUHV ZKR DUH QR ORQJHU DOLYHRUWKHLUZRUNV >E@$OWKRXJKWKLVLVDFDVHVWXG\WKHFRQFOXVLRQVFDQEHFRUUHODWHGZLWK RWKHUFDVH VWXGLHVDQGWKXVFRQVWLWXWHRQHPRUHSLHFHRIHYLGHQFHWKDW ZLOOEHDGGHGWRDFKDLQRIHDUOLHUFRQFOXVLRQVDERXWWKHVSHFLILFSRHWV RUWKHLUFRQWHPSRUDULHV  Point [a] is truly part of the study’s research orientation. It would be interesting to find out if there are other case studies on these works or their writers and what the results were. The reference regarding case study methodology and its application in literature (even in the absence of a citation system) is a positive element. Above all, studying earlier research projects will enable the proposer to follow tried and tested practices and avoid repeating (any) mistakes that previous researchers might have made. The categorical argument that there is no other strategy would have to be supported by a relevant reference. In [b], the student makes the observations we have made above, however they are not accompanied by bibliographic evidence. 4XDOLWDWLYH4XDQWLWDWLYHPHWKRGV >D@,ZLOOXVHTXDOLWDWLYHUDWKHUWKDQTXDQWLWDWLYHPHWKRGVEHFDXVHWKHUH ZLOO EH QR SHUFHQWDJHV RU PHDVXUHPHQWV &RQFOXVLRQV ZLOO EH GUDZQ DIWHU WKH HYLGHQFH KDV EHHQ VWXGLHG LQ RWKHU ZRUGV WKH SRHWV¶ ZRUNV ZKLFKFRQVWLWXWHSURRIRIZKDWZLOOEHLQYHVWLJDWHGDQGFRQFOXGHG >E@,ZLOOVWXG\WKHWKUHHSRHWV¶ZRUNVZKLFKLQYROYHWKHZRPDQPXVH DQG PRUH VSHFLILFDOO\ , ZLOO ORRN IRU WKH WUDLWV HJ ZKDW DGMHFWLYHV RU H[SUHVVLRQV KH XVHV WR GHVFULEH KHU ³DQJHOLFDWD´ ³EHOOH]]D GLYLQD´ HWF WKRVHWKDWHDFKRIWKHWKUHHSRHWVEHVWRZVRQKLVLGHDOZRPDQ, ZLOOVHDUFKIRUWKHZRUNVLQHOHFWURQLFIRUPVRWKDWHQWULHVFDQEHPDGH PRUHHDVLO\DQGDIWHUWKDWDFRPSDULVRQZLOOEHPDGHWRLGHQWLI\WKHLU GLIIHUHQFHVDQGVLPLODULWLHV Point [a] needs clarification with regard to the phrase “which constitute proof” because it will confuse the reader. The proposer is possibly



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referring to the research data he will be processing subsequently. Point [b] would make reviewing the proposal easier if the student could find studies in which adjectives and expressions have been used that are related in some way to those that will be used in the proposed research. Using the same or similar words in his research is not plagiarism or indicative of a lack of originality, as long as they are properly referenced. Locating the works in their electronic form will definitely speed up the recording process. Generally speaking, the methods are presented in greater detail in [b]. However, in one of the following sections, the proposer provides a description that may be a more suitable method. 5HVHDUFKVLWH 7KHUHVHDUFKZLOOEHFRQGXFWHGLQOLEUDULHVRIWKH$ULVWRWOH8QLYHUVLW\ RI7KHVVDORQLNLLQOLEUDULHVRI,WDOLDQXQLYHUVLWLHVLIGHHPHGHVVHQWLDO DQG QHFHVVDU\ IRU WKH UHVHDUFK  DQG RQOLQH VLQFH WKLV LV ELEOLRJUDSKLF UHVHDUFK  The proposer should clarify what he means by “if deemed essential and necessary”. The decision to travel abroad while preparing a dissertation should only be made after serious consideration and always in consultation with the supervisor. If not absolutely necessary for the purposes of the study, it would be a good idea to revisit its purpose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In [a], the reviewer will want to know if the proposer has already read the works. If the proposer is not familiar with the works, then a reasonable – and not insignificant – amount of time will be needed to simply read them. A simple reference to “Greek and international literature” suffices, since the special mention of Greek researchers-linguists suggests an underlying rationale which will then need to be explained. Points [b] and [c] should be examined in relation to the previous section. 'DWDDQDO\VLV >D@ , ZLOO GR D GRFXPHQWDU\ DQDO\VLV FRQWHQW DQG GLVFRXUVH DQDO\VLV EDVHG RQ *HQHWWH¶V WKHRU\ *HQHWWH   DQG E\ DSSURDFKLQJ WKH UHVHDUFKXVLQJWKHJHQGHUVWXGLHVWKHRU\*QLVFL JLYHQWKDWWKLV LVELEOLRJUDSKLFUHVHDUFKDQGDFDVHVWXG\ >E@ ,Q RWKHU ZRUGV WKH SRHWV¶ VSHFLILF ZRUNV WKDW FRQWDLQ WKH WK FHQWXU\ IHPDOH ILJXUH LQ QRUWKHUQ ,WDO\ ZLOO EH VWXGLHG DQG , ZLOO DSSURDFKWKHUHVHDUFKXVLQJJHQGHUVWXGLHVWKHRU\(VVHG  >F@,ZLOOVHDUFKIRUZRUGVDQGH[SUHVVLRQVWKDWGHVFULEHDQGUHIHUWRWKH ZRPDQPXVHDQG,ZLOOHQWHUWKHPLQDVHSDUDWHOLVWIRUHDFKSRHW7KLV ZLOO EH IROORZHG E\ D FRPSDULVRQ DQG WKH ILQDO FRQFOXVLRQV ZLOO EH GUDZQWKDWZLOODQVZHUWKHLQLWLDOTXHVWLRQK\SRWKHVLV  In [a], one reference (which does not follow a citation system) is not enough for three different tools. While this reference may concern all three tools, at least one reference is needed for each along with a brief description of how they will be applied in the proposed research. In [b], the gender studies approach is repeated, this time with a different reference. If this is a different approach, then it must be explained and justified. Point [c] provides details on the analysis procedure. It would be quite illuminating if the selection criteria for these words and expressions were provided. 5HVHDUFKWLPHWDEOH >D@  ZHHNV¶ VWD\ LQ ,WDO\ IRU DFFHVV WR WKH OLEUDULHV RI ,WDOLDQ XQLYHUVLWLHV LQRUGHU WR VHDUFK IRU GLVVHUWDWLRQV DQGGRFWRUDO WKHVHV RQ WKH IHPDOH ILJXUH LQ WKH ZRUNV RI WKHVH WKUHH SRHWV DQG SRVVLEO\ WKH ZRUNV RI RWKHU VFKRODUV RQ WKH WRSLF LQ TXHVWLRQ EHFDXVH WKLV WRSLF VKRXOGORJLFDOO\KDYHDOUHDG\EHHQVWXGLHGLQ,WDO\,WZRXOGEHXVHIXO WR VHH KRZ RWKHU UHVHDUFKHUV DSSURDFKHG LW DQG ZKDW WKH UHVHDUFK UHVXOWVZHUHVRWKDW,FDQWDNHWKHVWXG\RQHVWHSIXUWKHU >E@ZHHNVFROOHFWLQJGDWD >F@PRQWKVVWXG\LQJZRUNV



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>G@PRQWKVLGHQWLI\LQJWKHHYLGHQFHDQGFUHDWLQJDOLVWZLWKWKHGDWD FKDUDFWHULVWLFV >H@PRQWKFRPSDULQJWKHGDWDDQGGUDZLQJFRQFOXVLRQV >I@ZHHNVHGLWLQJDQGZRUNLQJRQWKHWH[W  The timetable begins with the trip to Italy and it is a very positive aspect that this is going to happen at the start of the research project [a]. However, there are three main issues that need to be clarified. First, in the Research Site section, it says that the decision whether to travel to Italy or not will be made at a later stage, depending on the study’s (future) needs, and this needs to be reflected in the timetable. Second, a literature review does not begin with dissertations and doctoral theses but with authoritative, published sources. Such papers can, of course, be used, but building a theory on unpublished sources will undermine the study as a whole. Third, the claim that the topic has logically already been studied in Italy should be referenced. Moreover, a two-week journey abroad in the midst of preparing a dissertation, to see if there are any relevant studies to be found, is a luxury a master’s student cannot often afford. Parts [b] and [c] are too vague and do not describe exactly what will take place in this time frame. For example, the reader might wonder if “studying works” refers to the three works mentioned in the title or to a general literature review. In [d], from the context it appears that “evidence” possibly refers to the words and expressions the proposer mentioned before, but this should be made clear. $QWLFLSDWHGSUREOHPV 0\WLPHZLOOEHVSHQWHQWLUHO\RQP\UHVHDUFK$SUREOHPWKDWFRXOG RI FRXUVH DULVH LV GLIILFXOW\ DFFHVVLQJ WKH OLEUDULHV RI ,WDOLDQ XQLYHUVLWLHV  This difficulty could be quite easily resolved by contacting the libraries for details on access and use. 6RXUFHVRILQVSLUDWLRQ >D@,KDYHDOZD\VOLNHGOLWHUDWXUHDQG'DQWHUHDOO\LPSUHVVHGPHZLWK KLV Divine Comedy ZKLFK LV FRQVLGHUHG D PDVWHUSLHFH RI ZRUOG OLWHUDWXUH$SRVWROLV.RQVWDQWLQRX >«@:KDWVWULNHVWKHUHDGHU LQWKH'LYLQH&RPHG\LVWKDWLWLVDZRUNIXOORIV\PEROLVPV >E@ $ ZRUN WKDW FRQGHQVHV WKH ZLVGRP RI WKH 0LGGOH $JHV 7KH LQVDWLDEOHZD\LQZKLFKSHRSOHWKHQOLYHGORYHGKDWHGVRXJKWSRZHU >«@GUDQNDQGDWHORYHGNLOOHGZLWKDQLQWHQVLW\WKDWWRGD\¶VIDLWKOHVV

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KXPDQLW\FDQQRORQJHUIHHO >F@ 'DQWH ZDV MXVW VXFK D PDQ ZLWK WKH VDPH EORRG UXQQLQJ LQ KLV YHLQV+HKDGDOOVHYHQ6LQVRQKLVIRUHKHDGEXWDOVRWKHVHYHQ:LQJV ZKRVWUXFNKLPDQGZLSHGDZD\KLVYLOODLQLHVDQGPLVGHHGV>«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n [a], the reference is a very positive element. A description of the symbolisms would be illuminating. In [b], a reference would let the reader know that the proposer’s inspiration stems (also) from previous studies, which is the case in [c]. In [d], it is very important to clarify whether it was reading the book or poring over earlier studies that caused the proposer to wonder. (The square brackets […] indicate omitted text that described sections of the literary works).  3URSRVDO  3URSRVDOWLWOH 7KHHGXFDWLRQDOREMHFWLYHRIWKHFKLOGUHQ¶VZRUNV3LQRFFKLRE\&ROORGL DQG&XRUHE\'H$PLFLVLQWKFHQWXU\,WDO\  Perhaps “role” is a better word than “objective” in this context. If they are not absolutely necessary, omitting the writers’ names will make the title briefer. Also, a subtitle would give the proposer the opportunity to more fully introduce the reader to the study. .H\ZRUGV (GXFDWLRQDO IXQFWLRQ RI FKLOGUHQ¶V ERRNV FKLOG HGXFDWLRQ FKLOGUHQ¶V OLWHUDWXUH GHYHORSPHQW RI D QDWLRQDO FRQVFLRXVQHVV H[SDQGLQJ D FKLOG¶VPHQWDOKRUL]RQVWKHMR\RIUHDGLQJDFKLOGUHQ¶VERRN  The last two choices describe the research topic and are not key words, but phrases that should be abbreviated.



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5HVHDUFKWRSLF±5HVHDUFKILHOG±7KHPHV >D@ $QDO\VLV RI WKH ERRNV 3LQRFFKLR E\ &ROORGL DQG +HDUW E\ 'H $PLFLV 7KHVH WZR ERRNV ZHUH FKRVHQ IRU P\ UHVHDUFK EHFDXVH WKH VWRULHV DQG WKH KHURHV¶ DGYHQWXUHV RIIHU PDQ\ RSSRUWXQLWLHV IRU DQDO\VLQJ HGXFDWLRQDO HOHPHQWV DQG PHVVDJHV WKURXJK WKHLU HYROYLQJ EHKDYLRXU ZKLFK SURYLGH FKLOGUHQ ZLWK HGXFDWLRQDO PRGHOV HJ WKH UHZDUG ± SXQLVKPHQW ± GLVFLSOLQH ± REHGLHQFH PRGHO , KDYH DOVR LGHQWLILHG HGXFDWLRQDO HOHPHQWV LQ WKH IROORZLQJ VWXGLHV %HQHNRV   6WHZDUW6WHLQEHUJ   0DODIDQWLV DQG .RXWUDV   .LDKLGRX  >E@7KH\ZHUHDOVRFKRVHQEHFDXVHWKH\ZHUHZULWWHQDQGSXEOLVKHGLQ WKH VDPH SHULRG 3LQRFFKLR  &XRUH  LQ RWKHU ZRUGV DIWHU WKH,WDOLDQVWDWH¶VXQLILFDWLRQLQ WKH\DUHWKHUHIRUHUHSUHVHQWDWLYH RIFKLOGUHQ¶VERRNVRIWKDWSHULRG5HIHUHQFH6DQWDJDWD $]RU 5RVD 3HWURQLR DQG1RDXWKRU/HWWHUDWXUDSHUO¶LQIDQ]LD >RQOLQH@QG  >F@7KHWZRERRNVUHIOHFWWKFHQWXU\VRFLDODQGPRUDOYDOXHVVXFKDV REHGLHQFHWRWKHUXOLQJFODVVDQGWHDFKHUVGLJQLW\KRQRXUUHVSHFWIRU RQH¶V SDUHQWV KHURLVP ORYH IRU RQH¶V FRXQWU\ 'L %HOOR HW DO   7KH ERRN &XRUH ZLOO VHUYH DV DQ H[DPSOH IURP ZKLFK WR VWXG\ WKH SDUDPHWHUUHODWHGWRWKHHYROXWLRQRI,WDOLDQFKLOGUHQ¶VOLWHUDWXUHLQWKH WKFHQWXU\DIWHUWKHXQLILFDWLRQRIWKH,WDOLDQ6WDWHLQ1RDXWKRU /D SHGDJRJLD GHO 5LVRUJLPHQWR/D OHWWHUDWXUD SHU O¶LQIDQ]LD >RQOLQH@ QG   In [a], the title of the book written by De Amicis is in English, while in the proposal’s title it is in Italian. If the proposer chooses to use the English titles in the main body of the proposal, he should point it out. Instead of describing the research topic as a list of selection criteria for the books, the proposer could present the study’s educational approach directly. Listing references is not enough; a brief outline is needed to make it clear, and to prove, that the proposed research is based on the literature. Instead of underlining a phrase to emphasise it, it would be better to put it in inverted commas or italics. Similarly, sources listed in the bibliography should not be in bold. The same applies to [b] and [c], with the addition that clarification is needed about why it is important for the proposed research that the works were written following Italian unification. Care should be taken with anonymous sources. In a research proposal, in which descriptions are very brief and which determines whether the study will be given the go-ahead, one does not have the luxury of citing unreliable sources.

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4XHVWLRQV±K\SRWKHVHV±PRGHO >D@5HVHDUFKTXHVWLRQV  7KHJRDORIWKHFKLOGUHQ¶VWH[WV3LQRFFKLRDQG+HDUW" 5HOHYDQWOLWHUDWXUH)DHWL &DLPL    &DQ WKH FKLOGUHQ¶V ERRNV Pinocchio DQG Heart EH WUDQVODWHG LQWR HGXFDWLRQDOSUDFWLFH" 5HOHYDQW OLWHUDWXUH 0DODIDQWLV DQG .RXWUDV   9DVLODUDNLV  *HUPDQRX  >E@5HVHDUFKK\SRWKHVLV 6LQFH WKH FKLOGUHQ¶V ERRNV 3LQRFFKLR DQG +HDUW ZHUH ZULWWHQ DIWHU ,WDOLDQ XQLILFDWLRQ LQ  WKHLU DLP PLJKW KDYH EHHQ WR FXOWLYDWH D QDWLRQDOFRQVFLRXVQHVV 5HOHYDQW OLWHUDWXUH  .ROLRSRXORV    6DQWDJDWD )  &DLPL    1R DXWKRU /D SHGDJRJLD GHO 5LVRUJLPHQWR/D OHWWHUDWXUDSHUO¶LQIDQ]LD>RQOLQH@QG   In [a], instead of “goal”, it would be better to use “educational role” [1]. A brief note on why those two sources are mentioned is definitely needed here and in [2]. The reason for linking the study to Italian unification appears for the first time in [b]. This reasoning should appear sooner to prevent the reader from questioning the mention of Italian unification and forming any preconceptions. References should not be provided in list form but as part of a flowing text that describes the origin of the questions (in other words, if they were thought up by the proposer or are based on current literature) within the study’s particular socio-historical context. 7KHRUHWLFDODQGFRQFHSWXDOIUDPHZRUN >D@ 6RFDOOHG ³UHODWHG´ WKHRULHV RU QDUUDWLYH WKHRULHV DGDSWHG WR ³HGXFDWLRQDOJRDOV´7KH\FRQFHUQP\UHVHDUFKEHFDXVHWKH\ZLOOKHOS PH DSSURDFK Pinocchio DQG Heart IURP DQ HGXFDWLRQDO SHUVSHFWLYH 0DODIDQWLVDQG.RXWUDV DQG-HDQ  >E@ $QWKURSRORJLFDO YDULDWLRQV ± DQWKURSRORJLFDO DSSURDFK , ZLOO OLQN WKLV WKHRU\ WR P\ UHVHDUFK EHFDXVH LW ZLOO KHOS PH WR VHH ZK\ PDQ PDNHV XS DQ LPDJLQDU\ WDOH ZKLFK KH XVHV WR ILQG D FRQQHFWLRQ ZLWK QDWXUH ZLWK KLPVHOI ZLWK KLV HPRWLRQV DQG LQWHOOHFW /DPEULQLGLV  6SDQRV DQG%RXWVLNDV  >F@ ³)RON FXOWXUHV´ WKHRULHV RI WKH VRFLDO RULJLQV RI IRON WDOHV  %\ DQDO\VLQJ 3LQRFFKLR DQG +HDUW , ZLOO DQDO\VH KRZ D FKLOGUHQ¶V ERRN IRUPV WKH IRXQGDWLRQ RQ ZKLFK D FKLOG FDQ GHYHORS KLV SHUVRQDO IUHHGRPDQGVRFLDOUHODWLRQVKLSVEHWDXJKWPRUDODQGVRFLDOYDOXHVDQG DFTXLUHDQDWLRQDOLGHQWLW\-HDQ 



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/DVW XVLQJ WKH WKHRU\ RI WKH RULJLQ RI IDLULHV -HDQ   , ZLOO DQDO\VHWKHUROHRIWKH)DLU\LQWKHERRN3LQRFFKLR  In [a], these theories should be described and reasons given for connecting them to the proposed research. In other words, the reader cannot tell if the proposer is truly familiar with these theories and has decided how he will apply them in the new context he is proposing. In [b], a connection needs to be established between the anthropological approach and the study’s educational character. This is essential so that it can be determined whether the study’s main objective remains the texts’ educational role. It is not wrong to use other theories as well, as long as reasons are given for this choice and their significance is rated. The first part of [c] is a good example that the proposer should also follow in the rest of the sections. The second part introduces a particular approach, that of “the fairies”, without any reasons being given for this choice. In other words, if a theoretical approach is adopted for one of the heroes in the book, in this case the fairy, then a description should be given of how her role in 3LQRFFKLR makes her analysis necessary or essential. 3UDFWLFDOFRQWULEXWLRQ >D@ *HQHUDOO\ VSHDNLQJ WR PDNH FKLOGUHQ¶V OLWHUDWXUH D XVHIXO HGXFDWLRQDOWRROLQWKHKDQGVRIHGXFDWRUV >E@ 7R PDNH WKH LQVWUXFWLRQDO YDOXH DQG IXQFWLRQDOLW\ RI FKLOGUHQ¶V OLWHUDWXUHDSSDUHQWWRPRGHUQGD\WHDFKHUV  The study’s practical contribution is truly valuable and interesting. It would be useful to mention similar practical contributions made by earlier studies, either on Pinocchio or other stories, Italian or otherwise. 5HVHDUFKRULHQWDWLRQ >D@ &DVH VWXG\ &ROORGL'H $PLFLV FDVH 5HSUHVHQWDWLYH ZRUNV 6DQWDJDWD $]RU5RVD 3HWURQLR DQG1RDXWKRU /HWWHUDWXUD SHU O¶LQIDQ]LD >RQOLQH@ QG  RI WKFHQWXU\ ,WDOLDQ &KLOGUHQ¶V /LWHUDWXUH 3LQRFFKLR+HDUW  $QDO\VLV RI WKHVH FKLOGUHQ¶V ERRNV >E@7KHSDUWLFXODUUHVHDUFKKDVEHHQXVHGE\WKHIROORZLQJUHVHDUFKHUV LQ WKH PDVWHU¶V GLVVHUWDWLRQV ZLWK UHJDUG WR WKH FKLOGUHQ¶V OLWHUDWXUH PRGXOHDQGOLWHUDWXUHLQJHQHUDO.LDKLGRX IRFXVHGRQWKHXVHRI KXPRXU LQ FKLOGUHQ¶V OLWHUDWXUH DQG RQ WKH FDVH RI *LDQQL 5RGDUL DQG (XJHQH 7ULYL]DV %DPQDUD   VWXGLHG WKH SUHVHQFH RI ZRPHQ LQ IRON WDOHV 7RSRX]D   IRFXVHG RQ GLIIHUHQWQHVV DQG KRZ LW LV

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GHSLFWHG LQ FKLOGUHQ¶V OLWHUDWXUH 7VLRXVLD   IRFXVHG RQ OLWHUDWXUH DQG MRXUQDOLVP LQ *UHHFH DQG ODVW 6NRWDGL   VWXGLHG WKH UHSUHVHQWDWLRQRI-HZLVKLGHQWLW\DQG6KRDKLQPRGHUQ,WDOLDQOLWHUDWXUH DQGWKHFDVHRI*LRUJLR%DVVDQLDQG3ULPR/HYL >F@ 7KH ZULWHUV &ROORGL DQG 'H $PLFLV DV D SDLU DQG WKHLU ERRNV 3LQRFFKLRDQG+HDUWKDYHQRWEHHQVWXGLHGWRJHWKHU LQDQ\PDVWHU¶V GLVVHUWDWLRQ >G@9LVLWWRWKHILIWKJUDGHRI;;;3ULPDU\6FKRRO >H@ /LWHUDWXUH IRU WKH ZRUN DW WKH VFKRRO 7UDQVODWLRQV &ROORGL WUDQVODWHG E\ 0DQGLODUDV   'H $PLFLV WUDQVODWHG E\ 6DNHOODURSRXORV  In [a], the proposer mentions that this is a case study but does not describe its theoretical framework. It is also not clear how the references will contribute to the research. In [b], citing unpublished sources (in this case, master’s dissertations) may undermine the proposal. Even if [c] is correct (since we do not know how this was deduced), it is important for the reader to know if this claim is also valid for published literature. Points [d] and [e] are not at all illuminating. While details may be provided below, when the reader is suddenly given unsubstantiated information he will start to wonder about the proposal’s coherence.  4XDOLWDWLYH4XDQWLWDWLYHPHWKRGV >D@ 4XDOLWDWLYH PHWKRG Advantage: XVH RI D GLIIHUHQW DSSURDFK WR WKH FKLOGUHQ¶VWH[WVE\&ROORGL'H$PLFLV8VHRIDQHGXFDWLRQDODSSURDFK >E@5HVHDUFKIRFDOSRLQWV  &RQQHFWLRQ EHWZHHQ WKH ZULWLQJ DQG SXEOLFDWLRQ RI WKH ERRNV 3LQRFFKLR DQG +HDUW DQG WKH KLVWRULFDO HYHQWV WKDW RFFXUUHG LQ ,WDO\ EHIRUHDQGDIWHUWKHXQLILFDWLRQRIWKH,WDOLDQ6WDWHLQ $QDO\VLVRIWKHFKLOGUHQ¶VERRNVE\&ROORGL'H$PLFLV3LQRFFKLR± +HDUW DVLQVWUXFWLRQDOPDWHULDOWKDWKDVDSURIRXQGHIIHFWRQFKLOGUHQ GHOLJKWVWKHPPRYHVWKHPDQGDOVRWHDFKHVWKHP  $QDO\VLV RI VRFLDO DQG PRUDO YDOXHV 'DRXWRSRXORV   DQG 3V\FKRSDLGLV   ZKLFK ZLOO KHOS PH LGHQWLI\ WKHVH YDOXHV LQ WKH ERRNV3LQRFFKLRDQG+HDUW  Point [a] is quite vague and certainly does not help the reader understand how this method will be used. A brief description should be given of the general principles of the qualitative method and how they will be applied to the proposed research. A literature review on similar studies would help a lot. Part [b] is more illuminating. However, (1) needs a reference on the study of children’s books in this socio-historical context, in (2) their



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effect should be substantiated (in other words, it should be stated if the claim is the proposer’s or is based on a source) and (3) should be connected to the study’s main objective, the educational role of stories. 5HVHDUFKVLWH >D@,QOLEUDULHVDWKRPH >E@9LVLWWRWKHILIWKJUDGHRI;;;3ULPDU\6FKRRO >F@ (WKLFDO LVVXH )ROORZLQJ P\ DSSOLFDWLRQ WR WKH VSHFLILF VFKRRO¶V PDQDJHPHQW0\YLVLWVKDYHEHHQDSSURYHG >G@3XSLOSURILOH7KHUHDUHSXSLOVER\VDQGJLUOVZKROLYHLQ YLOODJHV RXWVLGH 7KHVVDORQLNL 7KH SXSLOV GR QRW KDYH HDV\ DFFHVV WR ERRNVKRSV RU OLEUDULHV EHFDXVH WKHVH YLOODJHV DUH ORFDWHG ;;; NLORPHWUHVIURPWKHFORVHVWOLEUDU\SXSLOVFRXOGERUURZERRNVIURPDQG ;;; NLORPHWUHV IURP WKH FORVHVW ERRNVKRS +RZHYHU WKURXJK GLVFXVVLRQ ZLWK WKH WHDFKHU ZKLOH SUHSDULQJ IRU P\ YLVLW , ZDV LQIRUPHGWKDWWKHFODVV¶VSHUIRUPDQFHOHYHOLVYHU\JRRG  In [a], it should be clarified how the proposer’s home will serve as a research site. In [b], it is the second time that the visit to the primary school is mentioned without giving a reason for it. In [c], if permission is not also required from the Educational Institute, then this should be substantiated. Paragraph [d] should appear in the Data Collection section and it should be clarified why the information regarding the kilometric distances and class performance are important for the study’s purposes.  'DWDFROOHFWLRQ >D@ 'DWD FROOHFWLRQ EDVHG RQ ELEOLRJUDSKLF UHVHDUFK UHVHDUFK LQ OLEUDULHVIRUOLWHUDU\FKLOGUHQ¶VERRNVMRXUQDODUWLFOHVZHEVLWHV8VHRI WDSHUHFRUGHU >E@ 1RWHV , ZLOO WDNH GXULQJ P\ YLVLWV DW WKH DERYH VFKRRO 0\ YLVLWV ZLOODIIHFWP\UHVHDUFKEHFDXVHWKURXJKWKHWHDFKHU¶VGLVFXVVLRQVZLWK KHUSXSLOVZKLFKGLVFXVVLRQV,DPJRLQJWRZDWFK,ZLOOWU\WRREVHUYH DQGQRWLFHLIWKHWZRERRNVWKDWZLOOEHDQDO\VHGHQDEOHWKHFKLOGUHQWR XQGHUVWDQGVRFLDODQGPRUDOYDOXHVDQGWRZKDWH[WHQWWKHSUREOHPVRI VRFLDO UHDOLW\ GHVFULEHG LQ WKH WH[W FDXVH WKHP FRQFHUQ 6DNND 1LNRODNRSRXORX   6LPLODU UHVHDUFK LQYROYLQJ WKH UHDGLQJ RI OLWHUDU\ FKLOGUHQ¶V ERRNV DW NLQGHUJDUWHQ ZDV FRQGXFWHG E\ (OHQL 0RVFKRYDNL0RVFKRYDNL  >F@5HVHDUFKWRRO,ZLOOSUHSDUHTXHVWLRQVWKDWWKHWHDFKHUZLOODVNWKH SXSLOVLQFODVVWRDVFHUWDLQLIWKHVWRULHVZHUHXQGHUVWRRG0RYLQJRQWR WKH DQDO\VLV DQG H[WHQVLRQ RI WKH VWRU\ 3LQRFFKLR WKH FKLOGUHQ FDQ

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that the proposal’s reviewer would like to see. The pending issue is how data will be collected in the case of a play. In [e], it is suddenly mentioned that the children will be reading the story without providing any more details. For example, it is not clear if +HDUW will follow 3LQRFFKLR. The consent form should be prepared by the proposer and modified if the principal has objections. In [f], if consent is not given to use a tape recorder, it may make observation more difficult but not impossible. What is not understood is the “work process on the two books” and “intervention time”. In other words, what is this “process”, who will do the “work”, what kind of work will it be and who will do the “intervention”. At the end, there is a contradiction regarding the tape recorder. If consent is not given to use the tape recorder, then this cannot be done on the teacher’s own initiative. Also, if permission is given, the use or not of a tape recorder should be decided by the researcher, unless the decision to leave it at teacher’s discretion is based on specific methodological criteria, which should of course be described. 'DWDDQDO\VLV >D@   ,QWURVSHFWLYH PHWKRG , ZLOO FRQGXFW P\ VWXG\ DQG DQDO\VLV RQ WKHEDVLVRIP\H[SHULHQFHVDQGYLHZSRLQWV >E@   /LWHUDU\ DQDO\VLV RI WKH ZRUN E\ &DUOR &ROORGL 3LQRFFKLR &ROORGL /LWHUDU\DQDO\VLVRIWKHFKLOGUHQ¶VERRN&XRUHE\'H $PLFLV 'H $PLFLV   6\PEROLVPV DQG DQDO\VLV RI PRUDO DQG VRFLDOOHVVRQV >F@/LWHUDU\DQDO\VLVEDVHGRQWKHOLWHUDU\WH[WQDUUDWLRQDODQGDQDO\WLFDO VWUXFWXUH , IRXQG LQ WKH IROORZLQJ OLWHUDWXUH 3DQHELDQFR H 9DUDQL   &LRIIL   0RUH VSHFLILFDOO\  $QDO\VLV RI 3LQRFFKLR¶V FRQWLQXRXV YLRODWLRQV RI WKH UXOHV DQG KRZ KLV PLVEHKDYLRXU DQG SXQLVKPHQWVOHDGWRWKHFKLOG¶VPRUDOGHYHORSPHQW7KHDFWLYLWLHVDQG GLVFXVVLRQV ZLWK WKH FKLOGUHQ PD\ EULQJ WR OLJKW FKDQJHV LQ WRGD\¶V PRUDOYDOXHVVXFKDVWKHZD\FKLOGUHQDUHSXQLVKHGDQGGLVFLSOLQHG $QDO\VLV RI 3LQRFFKLR¶V DGYHQWXUHV DQG WKH DOOHJRULHV ZKLFK DUH DQ LQVWUXFWLRQDOHGXFDWLRQDOPHGLXP$QDO\VLVRIHeartE\'H$PLFLV DQG WKH OHVVRQV LW WHDFKHV DERXW ZRUN HGXFDWLRQ FXOWXUDO HGXFDWLRQ SDWULRWLVP$IHZZRUGVDERXWWKHZD\WKHZULWHUVWKLQNDVUHJDUGV WKH HGXFDWLRQDO PRGHOV , PHQWLRQHG DERYH UHZDUG SXQLVKPHQW GLVFLSOLQHGLVREHGLHQFH DQGZKLFK,ZLOODQDO\VHLQP\VWXG\3RLQWV DQGH[DPSOHVWKDWDUHLQOLQHZLWKP\UHVHDUFK$,Q3LQRFFKLR>«@ %,Q+HDUW7KHKHURHVDUHSXSLOVHDFKZLWKWKHLURZQFKDUDFWHUDQG IURP GLIIHUHQW SDUWV RI ,WDO\ 7KH SXSLOV¶ FKDUDFWHUV DQG EHKDYLRXUV SURYLGH HGXFDWLRQDO PRGHOV IRU FKLOGUHQ DQG WHDFK WKHP OHVVRQV

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VLQFHWKHWDVNLQYROYHVKXPDQEHLQJV >F@7KLUGPRQWKDQDO\VLVRI+HDUWE\'H$PLFLV >G@)RXUWKPRQWKDQDO\VLVRI3LQRFFKLRE\&ROORGL >H@)LIWKPRQWK$QDO\VLVRIWKHHGXFDWLRQDOYDOXHRIWKHVHZRUNV >I@6L[PRQWK5HVHDUFKFRQFOXVLRQV±)XWXUHJRDOV  Generally speaking, the timetable is detailed with clearly demarcated stages in the research. However, it will need to be redesigned once the procedure to be followed in class is clarified. For instance, it is quite ambitious to schedule a literature review and five school visits within one month [a]. The last sentence in [b] falls under data collection and analysis. In [c] and [d], a description of the analysis is needed. Similarly, in [e] and [f], the steps that are to be taken need to be clarified. $QWLFLSDWHGSUREOHPV   The proposer does not mention any anticipated problems, although some were mentioned in previous sections or may arise. The reader of the proposal would like to have a clear idea of how the proposer aims to deal with the main problems. 6RXUFHVRILQVSLUDWLRQ >D@3HUVRQDOLQWHUHVWLQFKLOGUHQ¶VOLWHUDWXUH3HUVRQDOLQYROYHPHQWZLWK FKLOGUHQ¶V OLWHUDWXUH ZULWLQJ RI FKLOGUHQ¶V WH[WV ± VWRULHV 7KH\ DUH VWRULHV IRUSXSLOV LQ DOO JUDGHV RISULPDU\ VFKRRO DQGGHDO ZLWK VRFLDO DQGPRUDOLVVXHVVXFKDVGUXJXVHHQYLURQPHQWDOSURWHFWLRQ0\ERRN ZLOOQRWKDYHDGLUHFWLPSDFWRQWKHUHVHDUFKEXWLWGLGVHWPHWKLQNLQJ DERXWWKHHGXFDWLRQDODQGVRFLDOYDOXHRIFKLOGUHQ¶VWH[WVLQJHQHUDO >E@7KHYDULRXVYLVLWV,PDGHWRSULPDU\VFKRROVLQ7KHVVDORQLNLZKHUH ,SUHVHQWHGDQGDQDO\VHGP\VWRULHVZLWKWKHSXSLOVDOVRSOD\HGDUROH LQWKHWRSLFFKRLFH'XULQJP\YLVLWVWRFODVVHV,IROORZWKHIROORZLQJ VWHSV,PDNHVPDOOLQWURGXFWLRQDVNSXSLOVDTXHVWLRQWRGRZLWKWKH WRSLFRIWKHVWRU\ZHKDYHFKRVHQWRUHDG WKHQ,UHDGWKHVWRU\WRWKH SXSLOV , WKHQ DVN ZKDW WKHLU LPSUHVVLRQV ZHUH DQG ZKDW IHHOLQJV WKH VWRU\HYRNHG$WWKHHQG,DFWRXWWKHVWRU\ZLWKWKHFKLOGUHQ  Part [a] is very important since the proposer is linking professional and research practice. Part [b] has some illuminating information regarding the methodology the proposer followed and could also form the basis of the story reading process in the proposed research.

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3URSRVDO  3URSRVDOWLWOH $0LGVXPPHU1LJKW V'UHDP:6KDNHVSHDUH&RPSDUDWLYH$QDO\VLV ±&ULWLFLVPRI7UDQVODWLRQVLQWKH*UHHN/DQJXDJH  The title is generally clear. The proposer obviously means a “comparative analysis of the translations …” or “criticism of the translation of …”. This should be clarified since we do not know how many or which translations will be analysed or critiqued. Also, in a small-scale study it would be difficult, if not impossible, to make use of two distinct approaches, a comparative analysis and translation criticism. Although some aspects are explained below, the readers’ first contact with the study gives rise to ambiguities, and the expectations created are not met (at least) to a satisfactory degree. Merging the two sentences into one and adding a subtitle would make the title much clearer. .H\ZRUGV 7UDQVODWLRQ &ULWLFLVP &RPSDUDWLYH $QDO\VLV RI 7UDQVODWLRQV 6KDNHVSHDUHDQ ODQJXDJH 7UDQVODWLRQ HTXLYDOHQFH 6NRSRV WKHRU\ A Midsummer Night’s Dream  The key words are well chosen and cover the scope of the proposed research. If used as a point of reference during the study, they can help the proposer not to stray towards unknown research paths. 5HVHDUFKWRSLF±5HVHDUFKILHOG±7KHPHV *HQHUDO HYDOXDWLRQ RI WKH H[LVWLQJ ILYH SXEOLVKHG WUDQVODWLRQV RI WKLV ZRUN±FKLOGUHQ¶VDGDSWDWLRQVZLOOEHH[FOXGHGRZLQJWRWKHIDFWWKDW WKH ODQJXDJH KDV EHHQ DGDSWHG DQG VLPSOLILHG IRU FKLOGUHQ WR XQGHUVWDQG  The reference to the evaluation of the translations causes the same confusion as the title. In other words, it is not clear if the proposer is talking about analysis or criticism. At this point, a look at the proposal comprehensively, starting with the key words, then moving on to the title and ending with this section, will make designing the proposal easier. The reader would expect to read something about Shakespeare’s work, which is the topic being dealt with. Furthermore, a significant drawback is the fact that there are no references or similar studies mentioned to lay the groundwork for the proposed research topic.



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depending on the direction the proposal is ultimately going to take. Also, there is no mention whatsoever of the theoretical approach to the translation of Shakespeare’s work. As far as writing technique is concerned, bold fonts should be used sparingly and only in special cases. In [b] and [c], the bold text could perhaps be used as an opportunity to create sub-sections in this section. 3UDFWLFDOFRQWULEXWLRQ >D@(YDOXDWLQJWKHWUDQVODWLRQVRIWKLVZRUNZLOOOHDGWRFRQFOXVLRQVWKDW FDQLPSURYHIXWXUHWUDQVODWLRQVRIWKHZRUN >E@ (VWDEOLVKLQJ FULWHULD EDVHG RQ ZKLFK WKH WUDQVODWLRQ RI 6KDNHVSHDUHDQ FRPHG\ VKRXOG EH EDVHG DV UHJDUGV WKH WUDQVODWLRQ¶V VW\OH UHOHYDQFH DQG HTXLYDOHQFH WR WKH RULJLQDO WH[W DQG ZKHWKHU WKH PHWUHLVSUHVHUYHGRUQRW >F@&UHDWLRQRIDTXHVWLRQQDLUHWKDWPD\VHUYHDVDPHWKRGRORJLFDOWRRO IRUWKHFRPSDUDWLYHDQDO\VLVRI6KDNHVSHDUHDQFRPHG\WUDQVODWLRQV  The practical benefits on the field of translation theory and practice are satisfactory. Care needs to be taken with phrasing in [b] (use of “should” instead of “could”) so as not to convey the idea that the research results can be immediately generalised. 5HVHDUFKRULHQWDWLRQ >D@7KLVUHVHDUFKLVDFDVHVWXG\RIDOOWKHWUDQVODWLRQVRIWKHSDUWLFXODU ZRUN >E@$FDVHVWXG\HQDEOHVWKHUHVHDUFKHUWRIRFXVRQDVSHFLILFVLWXDWLRQ DQGLGHQWLI\WKHYDULHGLQWHUDFWLYHSURFHVVHVLQKLVUHVHDUFK%HOO S 7KLVVWXG\PD\OD\WKHIRXQGDWLRQVIRUIXUWKHULQYHVWLJDWLRQRI DOO RI 6KDNHVSHDUH¶V ZRUNV WKDW KDYH EHHQ WUDQVODWHG LQWR *UHHN 6LPLODU FRPSDUDWLYH DQDO\VLV VWXGLHV KDYH EHHQ FRQGXFWHG LQ WKH SDVW IRU LQGLYLGXDO 6KDNHVSHDUHDQ ZRUNV 'DOSDQDJLRWL  DQG *LDQQDNRSRXORX +RZHYHUDQHYDOXDWLRQDQGFRPSDULVRQRIDOO WKHWUDQVODWLRQVRIWKRVHZRUNVZDVQRWFRQGXFWHGLQVWHDGWKHVWXGLHV LQYROYHGDFULWLFLVPRIWKHWUDQVODWLRQVDQGWKHLUFRQWULEXWLRQWR*UHHN OLWHUDWXUH >F@2YHUDOOFRPSDULVRQRIWKHZRUN¶VWUDQVODWLRQVSXEOLVKHGLQ*UHHN ±H[FHSWLQJWKHWUDQVODWLRQVWKDWDUHDGDSWDWLRQVIRUFKLOGUHQ±EDVHGRQ WKHIROORZLQJFULWHULD  7UDQVODWRU¶VLQWHQWLRQV>@)ULDU   7KHWUDQVODWLRQ6NRSRV>@9HUPHHU   7KHWH[WV¶HTXLYDOHQFHDWWKHGHQRWDWLYH>@FRQQRWDWLYH>@DQG



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distinction should be made between the critics’ translation criticism process and the proposer’s analysis of the critiques. 'DWDDQDO\VLV >D@ &ULWLFDO 'LVFRXUVH $QDO\VLV )DLUFORXJK   RI WKH WUDQVODWRUV EDVHG RQ WKH UXOHV RI WUDQVODWLRQ FULWLFLVP DV UHJDUGV OLQJXLVWLFV PRUSKRORJ\DQGHTXLYDOHQFHZLWKWKHRULJLQDOWH[W >E@ &RPSDULVRQ RI WKH UHVXOWV RI WKH TXHVWLRQQDLUH LQ RUGHU WR GUDZ FRQFOXVLRQV DQG FKRRVH WKH WZR PRVW UHSUHVHQWDWLYH WUDQVODWLRQV LQ WHUPVRIWKHFULWHULDVHW7KHWZRWUDQVODWLRQVZLOOEHFKRVHQEDVHGRQ WKH LQIRUPDWLRQ JDWKHUHG IURP WKH FULWLFV¶ DQVZHUV DQG WKH RYHUDOO UHVXOWIURPWKHVFRUHVDVVLJQHGWRWKHDQVZHUV >F@&UHDWLRQRIWDEOHVLQWKHPDLQSDSHUZLWKWKHEDVLFFRQFOXVLRQVZLWK UHJDUG WR WKH ILHOGV RI DQDO\VLV RI WKH WZR EHVW WUDQVODWLRQV DV GHWHUPLQHGE\WKH³FULWLFV´ EDVHGRQWKHPRUHH[WHQVLYHFRPSDUDWLYH DQDO\VLVWKDWZLOOEHGRQHE\WKHUHVHDUFKHU >G@ $QQH[ ZLWK WKH GHWDLOHG FRPSDUDWLYH DQDO\VLV WDEOHV WKH TXHVWLRQQDLUH DQG WKH WUDQVODWLRQ VDPSOH WKH ZRUN¶V FHQWUDO PRQRORJXH  JLYHQ WR WKH FULWLFV DV D SRLQW RI UHIHUHQFH IRU WKHLU FULWLFLVP  Point [a] should begin with a general description of critical discourse analysis, followed by its connection with the translation studies field, with an emphasis on translation criticism, and should conclude with the way it will be applied to the proposed research. Points [b] and [c] are descriptions that one would mostly find in the study’s Timetable section rather than in the Method of Analysis section. Point [d] would be more illuminating if the tables’ format was described, since the proposer’s analysis will be provided in the main body of the text (the dissertation). 5HVHDUFKWLPHWDEOH >D@  PRQWKV &ROOHFWLRQ RI H[LVWLQJ WUDQVODWLRQV RI WKH ZRUN VLQFH WKH\KDYHDOUHDG\EHHQLGHQWLILHGLQDGYDQFHE\WKHSURSRVDO¶VZULWHU 9LVLWWROLEUDULHV%RRNVRUGHUHG >E@PRQWKV7KHSURSRVHUZLOOUHDGWKHWUDQVODWHGWH[WVDQGRULJLQDO DQG PDNH QRWHV  FULWLTXH WKH ZKROH WH[WV &RQFOXVLRQV ZLOO EH UHFRUGHG >F@  PRQWKV &UHDWLRQ RI TXHVWLRQQDLUH YHULILFDWLRQ RI TXHVWLRQQDLUH¶V UHOLDELOLW\ E\ GLVWULEXWLQJ D SLORW TXHVWLRQQDLUH ZLWK D VPDOO RQH SDUDJUDSKVDPSOHIURPWKHSDUWLFXODU6KDNHVSHDUHDQZRUNWRWKHFULWLFV ZKR ZLOO DOVR EH ³DVVHVVLQJ´ WKH ERG\ RI WH[WV IRUPLQJ SDUW RI WKH



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use a specific research method in a very broad field, the European Union (EU), we suggested adding the subtitle “ … the case of the European Union’s translation department”. The option to investigate only one category of [a] – translation memories, dictionaries or term bases – was also pointed out. The second version became much more specific but still caused confusion, since the reader might have expected a review of all the programs used by the EU. The final version’s title is much more specific in terms of its field of application – the translation department – but the problem regarding the translation tools that are to be investigated remains unresolved. Perhaps adding the phrase “a description of …” would let the reader know precisely what the study will be focusing on without giving him the impression that an in-depth analysis of the tools is to follow. .H\ZRUGV /DQJXDJH WHFKQRORJ\ 7UDQVODWLRQ 0DFKLQH 7UDQVODWLRQ LQWHUQHW WUDQVODWLRQ WRROV HOHFWURQLF GLFWLRQDULHV WUDQVODWLRQ PHPRULHV WUDQVODWLRQSURJUDPVRIWKH(XURSHDQ8QLRQ  The first version included general terms that did not describe the study and which were subsequently either omitted or adequately qualified. It was suggested that the phrase “translation department” be used to qualify “European Union”. Although the suggestion was not adopted in the end, it seems to have brought about changes in the title. 5HVHDUFKWRSLF±5HVHDUFKILHOG±7KHPHV >D@7HFKQRORJLFDODSSOLFDWLRQVIRUWUDQVODWLRQ >E@ 8VH RI WUDQVODWLRQ VRIWZDUH DQG SURJUDPV LQ WKH WUDQVODWLRQ GHSDUWPHQWRIWKH(XURSHDQ8QLRQ >F@3UHVHQWDWLRQRIHOHFWURQLFWUDQVODWLRQWRROV  Interestingly, although the phrase “translation department” was used in this section [b] from the very beginning, it neither affected the title nor was it included in the key words. In the second version, [c] was added, which the proposer could have used to make the title even more specific, as mentioned before. 4XHVWLRQV±K\SRWKHVHV±PRGHO >D@ +RZ GRHV WHFKQRORJ\ VHUYH WUDQVODWLRQ HOHFWURQLF GLFWLRQDULHV WUDQVODWLRQPHPRULHVWHUPLQRORJ\GDWDEDVHV  >E@+RZHIIHFWLYHDUHWKHDYDLODEOHHOHFWURQLFWUDQVODWLRQWRROVLQWHUPV RIIXQFWLRQVWUXFWXUHDQGFDSDELOLWLHV

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In the first version, the proposer was on the right track but the question was too abstract in [a]. In [b], the proposer did not clarify what he meant by “effective”. Also, question marks were omitted. In the second version, the addition of some of the key words [a] and other descriptive terms [b] set the tone for the questions but they nevertheless still remained unclear. In essence, [a] and [b] are the main questions, which lack a description or sub-questions. No corrections were made in the third version. 7KHRUHWLFDODQGFRQFHSWXDOIUDPHZRUN >D@&RPSXWDWLRQDO/LQJXLVWLFV >E@/DQJXDJHWHFKQRORJ\ >F@0DFKLQHWUDQVODWLRQ >G@ 7KH UHOHYDQFH RI OLQJXLVWLFV IRU PDFKLQH WUDQVODWLRQ 6RPHUV +  Computers and Translation, $PVWHUGDP3KLODGHOSKLD -RKQ %HQMDPLQV3XEOLVKLQJ&RPSDQ\  >H@ /DQJXDJH HQJLQHHULQJ DQG WKH ,QWHUQHW 2¶+DJDQ 0 $VKZRUWK '  Translation-Mediated Communication in a Digital World, *UHDW%ULWDLQ&URPZHOO3UHVV/WG  >I@ 0DFKLQH WUDQVODWLRQ IRUPV SDUW RI D VFLHQWLILF ILHOG FDOOHG FRPSXWDWLRQDO OLQJXLVWLFV LV SHUYDGHG E\ WKH SUREOHPDWLFV UHODWLQJ WR WKH DQDO\VLV UHSUHVHQWDWLRQ DQG SURFHVVLQJ RI QDWXUDO ODQJXDJH /DQJXDJH WHFKQRORJ\ FRPELQHV UHVHDUFK RQ ODQJXDJH DQG WKH ZULWWHQ WH[WZLWKUHVHDUFKRQVSRNHQGLVFRXUVHDQGYRLFH0DFKLQHWUDQVODWLRQ IRUPV SDUW RI LW 6WDYURX 0 7]HYHOHNRX 0   Ǿ ȂȘȤĮȞȚțȒ ȂİIJȐijȡĮıȘ țĮȚ Ș ǼȜȜȘȞȚțȒ īȜȫııĮ. $WKHQV.DVWDQLRWLV   It is obvious from the shading that there was practically no theoretical framework in the first version. There were no references either, just a list of the theories that were going to be used. We pointed out that the next version should include specific theoretical approaches and studies relating to the list as well as a description of how they are connected to the research. In the second version, although references were added, the proposer failed to adhere to a citation system [d-f]. Paragraph [f] is a meaningful (yet cursory) effort to define the study’s theoretical framework. 3UDFWLFDOFRQWULEXWLRQ >D@/LVWRIWUDQVODWLRQWRROVDYDLODEOHRQOLQH >E@6WXG\DQGSUHVHQWDWLRQ3RLQWRIUHIHUHQFHIRUHYHU\WUDQVODWRU >F@3UHVHQWDWLRQRIWKHHOHFWURQLFWUDQVODWLRQWRROVDQGSURJUDPVRIWKH (XURSHDQ8QLRQ¶VWUDQVODWLRQGHSDUWPHQW 



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If the proposer had viewed his study as a whole, he might have realised that he actually intended to provide a presentation of the tools, as stated in [b] and [c], rather than some sort of analysis. Point [a] refers indirectly to his intention to create a record of the tools as a reference list for translators. Point [b] maintains the ambiguity, since it does not state what precisely will be studied. The fact that no effort whatsoever was made to change this section is telling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omputers in Translation. A practical appraisal. /RQGRQ1HZ G@ 1H[W , ZLOO SUHVHQW WKH VRIWZDUH DQG SURJUDPV XVHG E\ WKH (XURSHDQ8QLRQ¶VWUDQVODWLRQGHSDUWPHQWDVSUHVHQWHGLQWKHDYDLODEOH OLWHUDWXUH:DJQHU(%HFK60DUWLQH]0- Translating for the European Union Institutions 0DQFKHVWHU 8. 6W -HURPH 3XEOLVKLQJ  DQG RQ WKH RIILFLDO VLWH RI WKH (XURSHDQ 8QLRQ KWWSHFHXURSDHXGJVWUDQVODWLRQ LQGH[BHQKWP  DV ZHOO DV WKURXJK FRPPXQLFDWLRQZLWK(8WUDQVODWRUV  The first version shows that the difference between a research method (case study) and research tool (content analysis) has not been understood, [a-c]. In this section, the proposer was urged to focus on the “umbrella” of this research, namely the case study. Point [b] is clear but needs to be elaborated and is possibly not necessary in this section. Point [d] prolongs the ambiguity similarly to the previous sections.

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For the second version, it was suggested that the proposer look up similar case studies on EU translation tools. Moreover, he was asked to describe what a case study entails for translation in general and for the topic under investigation in particular. He would have to be more specific about the type of study and analysis, in other words if some form of experiment was to be conducted or only a literature review. He would also have to be more specific about the assessment criteria [c]. In the second version, a number of the issues we raised above, [c] and [d], were solved. The lack of a citation system persisted in this section, too. In [d], the component “EU translators” was also added but no further explanation was given. In the third version, we were told a bit more about the method of research and analysis [c]. 4XDOLWDWLYH4XDQWLWDWLYHPHWKRGV >D@&RQWHQWDQDO\VLVZLWKDTXDOLWDWLYHDSSURDFK >E@ 7KH WUDQVODWLRQ WRROV SURYLGHG RQ FRPSXWHU ZLOO EH VWXGLHG DQG DVVHVVHG EDVHG RQ WKHLU FDSDELOLWLHV HIIHFWLYHQHVV XVHUIULHQGOLQHVV DYDLODEOHODQJXDJHV >F@ $GGLWLRQDOO\ WKH IROORZLQJ FULWHULD ZLOO EH LQYHVWLJDWHG VSHHG VXEMHFW PDWWHU GHVLUHG OHYHO RI DFFXUDF\ FRQVLVWHQF\ RI YRFDEXODU\ YROXPH H[SHQVH 1HZWRQ -   Computers in Translation. A practical appraisal. /RQGRQ1HZ E@$UHWKH&XUULFXOXP¶VVWLSXODWLRQV$FW$FW 0DYURSRXORX   DGKHUHG WR DQG WR ZKDW H[WHQW IRU FKLOGUHQ ZLWK DXWLVPLQWKHLQFOXVLRQFODVVRI;;;;3ULPDU\6FKRROWKDWWKHVWXG\¶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The questions posed seem relevant to the proposed research. The proposer began with a general question [a], continued with an aspect thereof that is applied to a specific subject [b] and ended with an evaluation effort [c]. Given that this was the first version, the effort was commendable. In the second version, the proposer quite successfully answered all the questions we had posed. In [b], the question gained a bibliographical underpinning, the scope of application was defined and the research participant was identified without revealing personal details. Point [c] included clarification on the “co-education” model, adding useful information. However, no other source is cited other than the one we specifically suggested be included. 7KHRUHWLFDODQGFRQFHSWXDOIUDPHZRUN >D@&DVHVWXG\ >E@$XWLVPDVDSHUYDVLYHGHYHORSPHQWDOGLVRUGHU0HVLERY$GDPV  .OLQJHU  >F@,QFOXVLRQDQGFRHGXFDWLRQPRGHOVIRUFKLOGUHQZLWKDXWLVP4XLOO   >G@$XWLVPDQGHGXFDWLRQ4XLOO  >H@&XUULFXOXPIRUSXSLOVZLWKDXWLVP0DYURSRXORX  >I@ 6SHFLDO HGXFDWLRQ DQG WHDFKLQJ FKLOGUHQ ZLWK DXWLVP -RUGDQ  3RZHOO  >J@$XWLVP%DLOH\3KLOOLSV 5XWWHU   In its initial form, the theoretical framework consists only of titles and phrases, without any references, which are reminiscent of raw thoughts. On the positive side, they are all related to the proposed research. Following our recommendation, references [a-e] were added in the second version, but were completed in the third, [e-g]. This delay might have been due to the fact that when the second version was completed, the proposer had not yet found the relevant references. Moreover, the second and third versions were enriched with new theories along with the completion of the references. However, neither the theories nor their use in the study are described. This shows that the proposer has likely not thoroughly studied the theories he will be using.  3UDFWLFDOFRQWULEXWLRQ >D@7KHDFDGHPLFFRPPXQLW\ZLOOEHDEOHWRGHWHUPLQHHPSLULFDOO\,I WKH LQFOXVLRQ PRGHO DQG UHOHYDQW FXUULFXOD DUH LPSOHPHQWHG FRUUHFWO\ IRUSXSLOVZLWKDXWLVP LQSULPDU\HGXFDWLRQ,IWKH\DUHLPSOHPHQWHG KRZ IXQFWLRQDO DQG HIIHFWLYH WKH\ DUH :KDW PRGLILFDWLRQV VKRXOG EH



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PDGHWRPDNHWKHPPRUHHIIHFWLYH >E@ )RU VSHFLDO HGXFDWLRQ WHDFKHUV LW ZLOO EH D XVHIXO WRRO WKURXJK ZKLFKWKH\ZLOOEHDEOHWRDGDSWWKHLUWHDFKLQJPHWKRGVDQGSUDFWLFHV DQGPRUHVXFFHVVIXOO\LPSOHPHQWFXUULFXODIRUSXSLOVZLWKDXWLVP >F@ /DVW IRU SDUHQWV ZLWK DXWLVP VSHFWUXP GLVRUGHUV LW FRXOG EH D XVHIXO JXLGH ZKHQ FKRRVLQJ WKH W\SH RI VFKRRO XQLW WKHLU FKLOG ZLOO DWWHQGVLQFHWKHILQDOGHFLVLRQLVWKHLUV  There is a direct connection between theory and practice. The anticipated results of the proposed research could be used by an official educational institution [a] and educators in practice [b]. In the second version, following our question whether the study would benefit the children’s parents in any way, the proposer described a specific practical application, [c]. 5HVHDUFKRULHQWDWLRQ >D@ 7KH ILUVW SDUW RI WKH SDSHU FRQVWLWXWHV WKH VWXG\¶V WKHRUHWLFDO DSSURDFKZKHUHWKHIROORZLQJFRQFHSWVDUHGLVFXVVHG $XWLVP $XWLVPDQGHGXFDWLRQ &XUULFXOXPIRUFKLOGUHQZLWKDXWLVP ,QFOXVLRQPRGHO &RHGXFDWLRQPRGHO >E@$&DVHVWXG\7KHRUHWLFDODSSURDFK7KHFRPSDUDWLYHDGYDQWDJHV WKDWOHGWRWKLVFKRLFHDVWKHPRVWDSSURSULDWHPHWKRGRORJLFDOWRROIRU WKHVSHFLILFUHVHDUFK >F@%7KHVHFRQGSDUWRIWKHSDSHULQFOXGHVWKHVWXG\RIWKHSDUWLFXODU FDVHRIDFKLOGZLWKDXWLVPDQGLVVWUXFWXUHGDVIROORZV 6WDUWLQJSRLQWDQGREMHFWLYHRIUHVHDUFK 5HVHDUFKTXHVWLRQV 3DUWLFLSDQW¶VSURILOH 'HVFULSWLRQRIUHVHDUFKSURJUHVV  'DWD FROOHFWLRQ WHFKQLTXHV 'LDU\ SDUWLFLSDQW REVHUYDWLRQ DQG VWUXFWXUHGREVHUYDWLRQ 0HWKRGRIDQDO\VLVTXDOLWDWLYH 5HVHDUFKUHVXOWV &RQFOXVLRQV±GLVFXVVLRQ In the first version, the proposer seemed to have misunderstood this section as referring to the general structure of a dissertation [c]. We suggested that the proposer begin with the research project’s “umbrella”, which, according to him, is the case study and what it has to offer as a

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methodological tool. In response to our comment that [a] pertained to the theoretical component (with relevant citations), the proposer deleted it. Point [b] is more a reiteration of our comment rather than an effort to present his research approach. Point [c] remained completely unchanged even in the third version. 4XDOLWDWLYH4XDQWLWDWLYHPHWKRGV >D@7KHPHWKRGWKDWZLOOEHDSSOLHGWRWKHUHVHDUFKLVWKHFDVHVWXG\,W LVDTXDOLWDWLYHGDWDUHVHDUFKDQGDQDO\VLVPHWKRG >E@ %HOO   FRQGXFWV D V\VWHPDWLF WKHRUHWLFDO DQDO\VLV RI WKH VSHFLILF PHWKRG¶V DGYDQWDJHV DQG GLVDGYDQWDJHV SS   %\ DSSO\LQJKHUFRQFOXVLRQVWRRXUVWXG\ZHFDQVD\WKHIROORZLQJ >F@7KHFDVHVWXG\ZDVGHHPHGWKHPRVWDSSURSULDWHUHVHDUFKPHWKRG EHFDXVH  LW PDNHV LW SRVVLEOH WR VWXG\ WKH UHVHDUFK SDUWLFLSDQW FKLOG ZLWK DXWLVP IRUDVDWLVIDFWRU\SHULRGRIWLPHDQGKHFDQWKHUHIRUHEHVWXGLHG WKRURXJKO\ 7KURXJKWKH³FKDUDFWHULVWLFFDVH´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¶V GLDU\ WHDFKHUV¶GLDU\REVHUYDWLRQZLWKHOHFWURQLFPHGLD DQGWULDQJXODWLRQRI GDWDWRHQVXUHWKHREMHFWLYLW\DQGYDOLGLW\RIWKHUHVXOWV  Generally speaking, the description of the methods did not change from the initial version, other than some changes in expression and an addition in the third version. The initial version described the case study method generally, [a] and [b], but not how it would be adapted to the proposed research. We encouraged the proposer to describe the methods that he would be using, how he would do it and the advantages and disadvantages in their particular case [d]. In the second version, an attempt was made to modify a research parameter, namely by referring to the emotional bond with the research participant as a likely problem, but no mention was made of how it would be dealt with [d]. For this reason, we asked for a brief description of the



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main conclusions drawn in similar earlier studies. The proposer was also asked to describe their personal viewpoint on the generalisation of research results in case studies in general, and in their study in particular. In the final version, the proposer described different ways in which he will attempt to enhance the validity of his study. This shows that he had researched the matter, although there are no accompanying references. 5HVHDUFKVLWH 7KHVWXG\ZLOOEHFRQGXFWHGDW;;;;3ULPDU\6FKRRODQGVSHFLILFDOO\ LQWKHILUVWJUDGHFODVV$VLQFHWKLVLVWKHUHVHDUFKSDUWLFLSDQW¶VFODVV 7KLV VFKRRO KDV EHHQ FKRVHQ EHFDXVH LW LV WKH VFKRRO ZKHUH WKH UHVHDUFKHU LV ZRUNLQJ WKLV \HDU DQG KH NQRZV WKH SULQFLSDO DQG 7HDFKHUV¶ $VVRFLDWLRQ +H WKHUHIRUH DQWLFLSDWHV D JRRG ZRUNLQJ UHODWLRQVKLS DQG WKDW GHSDUWPHQWDO DQG SURFHGXUDO LVVXHV VXFK DV SHUPLVVLRQWRFRQGXFWWKHVWXG\ZLOOEHIDFLOLWDWHG  In the initial version, the proposer named the site where the empirical part of the research would be conducted but provided no additional information. The proposer was asked to justify the choice of site and to describe ethical issues. The second version includes quite a bit of information, excluding ethical issues. 'DWDFROOHFWLRQ 7KHIROORZLQJZLOOEHXVHGWRFROOHFWWKHGDWD >D@3HUVRQDOUHVHDUFKGLDU\7KHSDSHU¶VDXWKRUZLOOEHDWWKHVDPHWLPH DQLQWHUQDODQGH[WHUQDOUHVHDUFKHU+HOODZHOO ,QWHUQDOEHFDXVH WKH UHVHDUFKHU KLPVHOI ZLOO EHVLGHV WKH UHVHDUFK DOVR EH WKH WHDFKHU FRPSDQLRQRIWKHUHVHDUFKSDUWLFLSDQW([WHUQDOEHFDXVHKHZLOOKDYHWR DOVR REVHUYH DQG UHFRUG GDWD RQ WKH WHDFKHUV DQG WKH UHVHDUFK SDUWLFLSDQW¶VFODVVPDWHV$VDUHVXOWDSHUVRQDOUHVHDUFKGLDU\DV%HOO REVHUYHV   … may prove invaluable for me to monitor my research progress, record names, addresses, notes from telephone calls, good ideas that came to me in the middle of the night. S  >E@ 2Q WKHRWKHU KDQG WKHZULWHU¶VGLUHFW LQYROYHPHQW LQ WKH UHVHDUFK DQG WKH HPRWLRQDO ERQG WKDW DOUHDG\ H[LVWV EHWZHHQ KHU DQG WKH UHVHDUFK SDUWLFLSDQW UDLVHV FRQFHUQV DERXW WKH SRVVLELOLW\ RI VHOHFWLYH UHSRUWLQJDQGWKHFRQVHTXHQWULVNRIVNHZLQJWKHUHVXOWV >F@'LDU\)ROORZLQJFRPPXQLFDWLRQZLWKWKHVSHFLDOHGXFDWLRQWHDFKHU DQGWKHJHQHUDOHGXFDWLRQWHDFKHUWKH\ZLOOEHDVNHGWRFRPSOHWHDQG NHHS D GLDU\ LQ ZULWWHQ IRUP DQG ZLWK VSHFLILF GDWD WKH\ ZLOO KDYH WR REVHUYHDQGUHFRUGHDFKWLPH

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any aspects of data collection were included in the initial version. In [a], the student explained his role as an “internal researcher” and mentioned specific literature, possibly because the specific concept was presented in the course. We requested that the proposer substantiate this characterisation and that he consider the possibility that he would act as an external researcher as well. The student responded with the relevant details. We requested a description of the diary [b] and clarification of the actions that would be taken if the participants refused to keep a diary or failed to keep it systematically. We posed similar questions for [d] and [e]. In the second version, a number of explanations were provided. The student gave reasons for his role as an internal and external researcher [a] and provided details on the two forms of observation he intended to conduct, [d] and [e]. We requested details on how the ethical issue would be dealt with in [b] and what past researchers did in similar studies. In the final version, it was clarified that the proposer has considered the interaction with other children at school and that the notification of parents has been included in the timetable, [g]. When asked if ninety days were too long (in relation to the total available time) for record keeping, it was corrected to thirty days [f] without any accompanying comments on how this reduction would affect the research plan. 'DWDDQDO\VLV >D@)RUWKHGDWDDQDO\VLVEHFDXVHRIWKHFKRVHQUHVHDUFKPHWKRG,ZLOO FRQGXFWPDLQO\DTXDOLWDWLYHDQDO\VLVRIWKHGDWDWKDWZLOODULVHIURPWKH XVHRIWKHUHVHDUFKWRROVWKDWLV WKHSHUVRQDOUHVHDUFKGLDU\ WKHWHDFKHUV¶GLDU\ REVHUYDWLRQDQGUHFRUGNHHSLQJ >E@ 7KH TXDOLWDWLYH DQDO\VLV RI WKH DERYH GDWD ZLOO EH GRQH XVLQJ



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VSHFLILF PHWKRGV (J WKH SURGXFWLYH FODVVLILFDWLRQ PHWKRG ZLOO EH XVHGWRDQDO\VHWKHGDWDREWDLQHGIURPREVHUYDWLRQ >F@7RDQDO\VHWKHWHDFKHUV¶GLDU\TXDOLWDWLYHFRQWHQWDQDO\VLVZLOOEH XVHG*NDUDQLV  >G@ $W WKH HQG RI WKH SDSHU DQ DSSHQGL[ ZLOO LQFOXGH PRGHOV RI WKH UHVHDUFKWRROVDQGWKHTXDOLWDWLYHGDWDDQDO\VLVWRROV  The initial version, justification for the use of the data analysis method is based on the research method chosen [a] and a specific research tool [b], but these simply named, without any accompanying description or references. Examples of similar empirical studies were requested along with details on the form the data will take. In the second version, the proposer specified the use of qualitative content analysis and even provided a citation [c], albeit without describing the method of analysis. The data will be provided in an appendix [d], but the reader is left to wonder if the appendix will include all the data. We pointed out that the main body of the paper should have all the information that the reader needs to form a complete picture of the research. In the final version, the method of analysis is specified [b], but a description of how this method works is still lacking and there is no accompanying reference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± &RUUHFWLRQV±)LQDOYHUVLRQRISDSHU In the initial version, we suggested that the proposer (unofficially) contact the school beforehand, letting them know about his research and that he would be requesting permission [a]. This contact is very important as it

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gives the school head advance warning about the research before the request is received. We pointed out that the study of the relevant literature never really stops [d]. The proposer gradually settles on the literature relevant to his study, always leaving room for last-minute additions. We emphasised that it would be a good idea to prepare a draft each time a section of the study was completed, so that in the end the proposer would mainly be dealing with merging the separate sections [e]. In the second version, we pointed out the lengthy period allocated to data collection [b] and this was corrected in the third version. Point [e] shows that the proposer has not realised that the advisor’s comments are not amassed and dealt with at the end of the research project, but are taken into account throughout its course. The third version does not differ greatly from the previous two. $QWLFLSDWHGSUREOHPV >D@3UHYLRXVIDPLO\DQGSURIHVVLRQDOFRPPLWPHQWV >E@'LVWDQFHEHWZHHQP\SODFHRIUHVLGHQFHDQGWKHXQLYHUVLW\ZKLFK PDNHVDFFHVVWROLEUDULHVPRUHGLIILFXOW >F@'XULQJWKHUHVHDUFKSURMHFWSRVVLEO\SUREOHPVLQFROODERUDWLRQZLWK WKHVFKRROSULQFLSDORUWHDFKLQJVWDII >G@$EVHQFHVRIWKHUHVHDUFKSDUWLFLSDQW >H@/RVVRIWHDFKLQJKRXUVGXHWRVFKRROHYHQWV  The proposer has realised that he may encounter a series of problems. Point [a] is not a problem that affects the research, at least not in scientific terms. Point [b] can be dealt with, to a large extent, using online databases containing articles and studies. Proper planning will help the proposer to select the most important books in good time and hence minimise visits to the library. In [c], we asked for clarification on the types of collaboration problems and for a description on how they would be dealt with. A good start would be to see what past researchers did in similar studies, but there was no response in the third version. Point [d], which obviously refers to the research participant’s absences from school, is more a matter of luck than of planning on the part of the proposer. Point [e] is relatively easy to make provision for at a very early stage and the research can therefore be planned around the school events. 6RXUFHVRILQVSLUDWLRQ >D@0\LQYROYHPHQWZLWKDQGWHDFKLQJRIWZRFKLOGUHQZLWKDXWLVP >E@7KLV\HDUWZRFORVHIULHQGVZKRKDYHDFKLOGZLWKDXWLVPDVNHGPH WR DFFRPSDQ\ KLP WR WKH VFKRRO VR WKDW , FRXOG KHOS KLP DFFOLPDWLVH



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DQG XQGHUVWDQG KRZ WKLQJV DUH GRQH DW VFKRRO 7KH SUREOHPV WKH SUHMXGLFHVDQGWKHJDSVLQWKLVILHOGZHUHIRRGIRUWKRXJKWRQWKHSDUW RIWKHWHDFKHUVDQGSULQFLSDOZKREHOLHYHGWKDWWKHFKLOGVKRXOGDWWHQG DVSHFLDOVFKRROGHVSLWHWKHPHGLFDOUHSRUWIURPDPDMRUVWDWHKRVSLWDO ZHUH VLJQLILFDQW IRRG IRU WKRXJKW DQG FRQWHPSODWLRQ &HUWDLQO\ WKH HQWLUH VWXG\ HQWDLOV ULVNV JLYHQ WKH GLUHFW LQYROYHPHQW RQ WKH SDUW RI WKH UHVHDUFKHU DQG WKHLU HPRWLRQDO ERQG ZLWK WKH UHVHDUFK SDUWLFLSDQW EXWWKLVSUHFLVHO\LVZKDWPDNHVLWDELJFKDOOHQJH)RUWKLVUHDVRQWKH UHVHDUFKWRROVZLOOEHSUHSDUHGZLWKJUHDWFDUHDQGULJRXUDQG,ZLOOWU\ WR EH DV REMHFWLYH DV SRVVLEOH E\ UHFRUGLQJ WKH GDWD DQG WKURXJK WKH SDUWLFLSDWLRQ RI WKLUG SDUWLHV LQ WKH UHVHDUFK VXFK DV WKH VSHFLDO DQG JHQHUDOHGXFDWLRQWHDFKHUV >F@ 7KH DQDO\VLV RI WKH SDSHU E\ $QGUHDV *NDUDQLV   WLWOHG ³Ǿ įȚįĮıțĮȜȓĮ IJȘȢ ȖȜȫııĮȢ ıİʌĮȚįȚȐ ȝİ İȜĮijȡȐ ȞȠȘIJȚțȒ țĮșȣıIJȑȡȘıȘ ȂȚĮȑȡİȣȞĮįȡȐıȘȢ´>7HDFKLQJODQJXDJHWRFKLOGUHQZLWKVOLJKWPHQWDO UHWDUGDWLRQ $FWLRQ UHVHDUFK@ SURPSWHG PH WR WDFNOH WKH LVVXH IURP D VFLHQWLILFSHUVSHFWLYH >G@ 7KLV PDVWHU¶V GLVVHUWDWLRQ H[SORUHV LVVXHV UHOHYDQW WR VSHFLDO HGXFDWLRQ DQG DOWKRXJK LW LQYROYHV DFWLRQ UHVHDUFKZKHUHDV PLQH LV D FDVH VWXG\ WKH UHVHDUFKHU GHDOV ZLWK SUREOHPVFRQFHUQV DQG GLIILFXOWLHV VXFK DV HQVXULQJ REMHFWLYLW\ LQ KLV UHVHDUFK ZKLFK DUH VLPLODUWRPLQH  Point [a] is an opportunity for the proposer to prove that his proposed research links theory with practice. In [b], the proposer was asked to clarify if he had discussed his intention to do this research with the child’s parents and to explain how he would deal with the fact that he was emotionally involved with both the child and the parents. Additionally, we asked for a description of the prejudices referred to and of the study that prompted him to look into this issue [c]. In the second version, the proposer responded to our request for a description of the prejudices [b], but this was handled very superficially. For example, he mentions that he will be careful, but not how he will achieve this. Studying previous research projects would provide many opportunities to examine possible ways of dealing with these especially sensitive matters. The proposer was asked to provide a reference for the study mentioned and to compare this study with his own. This suggestion aimed to get the proposer involved in a process where he would have to identify good and bad practices in past studies. Although the resulting comparative description is not well done, it is a good start that may contribute to the research design [d].

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3URSRVDO  3URSRVDOWLWOH )RUHLJQ /DQJXDJH 7HDFKLQJ YLD GLVWDQFH HGXFDWLRQ WRROV WHOH HGXFDWLRQXVHRIWKHFDVHRI6N\SHDVDPHDQVRIFRPPXQLFDWLRQ  In the initial version, we suggested that the proposer mention specific tools in a subtitle that would clarify the main title. This would help the reader realise from the start that he will (probably) be reading about a case study. We proposed Skype since it is a widely used form of communication and the proposer, as well as the research participants, would have no trouble installing and using it. In the second version, the proposer chose (on his own) to use the word “tele-education”, making the title more specific (and concise) since it now referred to an electronic means of communication. “Distance education” could also have referred to communication by post. Having established that this was a case study, we suggested that he modify the subtitle using the word “case”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UHFRUGWKHWUHQGVDQGYLHZVRIDGXOWVZLWKUHJDUGWRWKHLUDFFHSWDQFHRU QRWRIWKLVW\SHRIOHVVRQ  The initial version [a] was essentially a list of key words. We pointed out that the phrase “distance education platforms” could be a key word and asked if by “how foreign language students … practice” he meant the applications in foreign language education. The second version [b] was a modified form of [a], which is why we emphasised that the section needed to be rephrased so as to form a flowing text rather than isolated key words. In the third version [c], he responded to our remark, albeit without adding any references. 4XHVWLRQV±K\SRWKHVHV±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n the initial version [a], (1) should have referred to the specific tool investigated by the proposer. It is a general observation that can even be included as an “emerging trend” in the conclusions. Alternatively, the proposer could have asked “What are the advantages and disadvantages of the tool …. In foreign language teaching?” Item (2) may not be able to be dealt with as a separate question in such a small-scale study. It could, however, be included in the conclusions for future research, and the same applies for (4). In (3), the proposer was asked to specify what software he was referring to. In the second version, the proposer responded to the above comments in different ways. Although he presented certain hypotheses [b1-3] and questions [c1-2] separately, this distinction should have been made clearer, which is what he did in the final version. The way that [a1] and [a3] were elaborated and converted to hypotheses [b1-3] is interesting.

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he initial version consisted of isolated and abstract titles of theories and subject areas that did not offer the reader anything substantive. We pointed out that the proposer had to write about specific theories and researchers and provide a brief description of the theoretical underpinning he would be using. In other words, this needs to be rewritten so that the section consists of a flowing text rather than isolated key words. This was corrected in the final version (omitted here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¶V QHHG WR LPSURYH KLV &9 LQ WKH QHZ MRE PDUNHW VWDWXVTXR  The initial version was unclear and abstract and we suggested that the proposer add further details. In the second version, there are indications



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that the improvements made in the previous sections had a knock-on effect, resulting in substantial changes to this section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he initial version was an abstract description that was more like a raw thought on the methods that were being considered for the collection and analysis of data and which were omitted to save space. We decided to point out a few things only, which, although unrelated to the research strategy, we thought would help the proposer shape his methodology as a whole. In the second version, we suggested that the proposer begin the section with the basic standpoints of the case study as a research method. This should be followed with references to other case studies on ICTs. We asked the proposer to explain precisely what he would be investigating

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with Skype, what the specific program has to offer, how oral examinations via Skype differ from face-to-face examinations, when they are recommended and when not. These issues had to be presented more clearly in the research proposal rather than in the course of the study. Also, it was not clear if the main part of the research involved assessing Skype itself. We asked for references regarding the Likert scale. Lastly, we pointed out a discontinuity between steps 3 and 4, since it looked like they were two different studies, both equally interesting. Moreover, if the research participant was the student, then it was suggested he focus on her. In the final version, the proposer responded in part to our comments. He provided one citation [a], which, although not offering any essential information, shows that the proposer made a further attempt at a literature review. He provided additional clarifications on the methods that make his research better understood. Although the reference provided for Likert shows that the proposer reviewed more literature, he failed to consistently adhere to a citation system, as in (4) and [b] below. The response relating to steps [a3-a4] was limited to a general statement and a reference. The proposer should have described exactly what he had read in the reference that made these two types of research totally relevant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In the initial version [a], in an effort to encourage the researcher to review more literature, we asked him to be more specific about his use of the qualitative method. He had to be more specific about how he would combine his qualitative and quantitative research. For example, we suggested he interview professors who are familiar with the tool and have already used it and also professors who are not familiar with it. He could also interview electronic device manufacturers. In this way, he could obtain some of the information he would need for his overall description of the communication circuit. As regards the sample, we asked how many research participants he would be using and how he would ensure that they are familiar with and know how to use the tool. In an effort to make him look at his proposal as a comprehensive whole, we encouraged him to re-examine his research questions in terms of the use of this tool and the research participants’ opinion of it. As regards reliability and generalisation, we tried to reassure the proposer by pointing out that in such a small-scale study it is difficult (although not impossible) to generalise the results of one’s research. In the second version [b-d], we suggested that a part of the description (omitted here to save space) should be moved to the Data Collection section. In [b], we emphasised that he needed to explain what he meant by “objectivity”. The proposer tried to describe the methods but generally failed to make it clear to the reader what methods he would be using and how he would do it. In the third version, he merely added a reference, [b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¶V KRPHDQGDWKHUFRPSXWHUUHVSHFWLYHO\ >F@:HKDYHDJUHHGWKDWWKHOHVVRQZLOOWDNHSODFHLQP\VWXG\DQGLQ KHUURRPUHVSHFWLYHO\DQGZHZLOOEHGUHVVHGDVLIZHZHUHKDYLQJD OHVVRQLQDSXEOLFVSDFHVRWKDWZHFDQUHVSHFWHDFKRWKHU¶VSULYDWHOLIH (QWULHVZLOOEHPDGHLQWKHGLDU\E\PHDWKRPHDIWHUHDFKOHVVRQDQG E\P\VWXGHQWUHVSHFWLYHO\

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>G@ 7KH LQWHUYLHZ ZLOO EH FRQGXFWHG YLD 6N\SH DW WKH HQG RI WKUHH PRQWKVRIOHVVRQVDQG,¶PWKLQNLQJE\DWKLUGSDUW\ZKRZLOODOVREHD IRUHLJQ ODQJXDJH WHDFKHU ZLWK TXHVWLRQV WKDW , ZLOO KDYH SUHSDUHG LQ RUGHU WR SUHYHQW DFFRUGLQJ WR &RKHQ  0DQLRQ   ³$ GLVDGYDQWDJHRQ WKHRWKHUKDQG LV WKDW LW LVSURQH WR VXEMHFWLYLW\ DQG ELDVRQWKHSDUWRIWKHLQWHUYLHZHU´S  >H@ 7KH TXHVWLRQQDLUHV ZLOO EH FRPSOHWHG ZLWK DQ RQOLQH H TXHVWLRQQDLUHXVLQJ*RRJOHGRFV  The initial version [a] provided very few details about the research site, which was then abandoned and provided us with the opportunity to make some important points. We asked for information on the students’ selection criteria, on the population he would draw the sample from and what steps he would take if the students were minors. We also asked about the assessment criteria for “P/C” applications and the “techie’s” participation and what precisely he would be asked to do. In the second version, we brought some details to the proposer’s attention, such as the room with the PC where the lesson would be held [b], the consequences of internet connection interruptions and even of different clothing that may affect the lesson. An important detail was the reference to a “third party” [d], whose involvement we requested more information about. There were quite a few details (omitted here) that concerned the data collection section. In the third version, some clarifications, accompanied by a reference [d], were made regarding the questions we had posed, but the subsequent statement concerning Google docs was incorrect. 'DWDFROOHFWLRQ >D@%RRNVVFLHQWLILFDUWLFOHVFRQIHUHQFHSURFHHGLQJV >E@RSHQHQGHGTXHVWLRQQDLUHVVWUXFWXUHGTXHVWLRQQDLUHVLQWHUYLHZV >F@'LDULHVUHVHDUFKHU¶VDQGVWXGHQW¶V  >G@6HPLVWUXFWXUHGLQWHUYLHZ >H@4XHVWLRQQDLUHVIRUWHDFKHUVDQGDGXOWV,¶PWKLQNLQJDERXWDVDPSOH RIIRUHLJQODQJXDJHWHDFKHUVZKR,NQRZSHUVRQDOO\RUDVFROOHDJXHV IURP XQLYHUVLWLHV DQG FROOHJHV SXEOLF DQG SULYDWH VFKRROV IRUHLJQ ODQJXDJH WXLWLRQ FHQWUHV SULYDWH OHVVRQV  DQG  DGXOWV DJHG  ZKRDUHRUDUHQRWDOUHDG\IRUHLJQODQJXDJHVWXGHQWV OLYLQJLQ*UHHFH ZKR , NQRZ SHUVRQDOO\ RU DUH DFTXDLQWDQFHV RI P\ IULHQGV RU IDPLO\ %RWK TXHVWLRQQDLUHV IRU WHDFKHUV DQG DGXOWV ZLOO EH RQ D /LNHUW VFDOH   ZKHUH WKH UHVSRQGHQW VWDWHV WR ZKDW GHJUHH KH DJUHHV RU GLVDJUHHV6RWLURXGDV 



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>I@ , ZLOO XVH WKH SLORW TXHVWLRQQDLUH PHWKRG %HOO   EHIRUH WKH ILQDOLVHG YHUVLRQ IRU ERWK WHDFKHUV DQG DGXOWV 7KH SLORW TXHVWLRQQDLUH ZLOOEHLQSULQWHGIRUPDQGZLOOEHKDQGHGRXWSHUVRQDOO\VRWKDWDQ\ ZHDNRULQFRPSUHKHQVLEOHSDUWVFDQEHFRUUHFWHG >J@7KHWHDFKHUDQGDGXOWTXHVWLRQQDLUHVZLOOEHVHQWHOHFWURQLFDOO\YLD HPDLO RU IDFHERRN LQ WKH IRUP RI D *RRJOH GRFV TXHVWLRQQDLUH DQG UHFLSLHQWVZLOOEHDVNHGWRFRPSOHWHLWZLWKLQGD\V In the initial version we pointed out to the proposer that [a] is part of the literature review. In [b] he needed to add more information, such as the type of questions he expected to include and how long it would take to complete the questionnaire. As regards the interviews, the information we requested concerned the number of interviews required, the number of research participants that would visit the proposer’s home for the interview (some of whom would be unknown to him) and how the interview would be recorded and then transcribed. Also, the interview order and distribution of questionnaires were two more aspects that had to be clarified. The above questions were posed in this way so as not to lead the proposer to the answer (even though the answer was obvious) but to help him develop a researcher’s perspective. In the second version, we pointed out for the second time that [c-d] and [e] seemed like two different and unrelated research projects and suggested that he focus on one of the two. Due to limited space, we have not included all the details provided in this section. The final version ended up being much shorter than the second and rather more substantial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SUHVHQW WKHP LQ WDEOHV DQG JUDSKV 7KH TXHVWLRQQDLUHV IXUWKHUPRUH ZLOOEHVKRZQLQWKHDSSHQGL[7KHUHVXOWVZLOOEHSUHVHQWHGXVLQJDSLH FKDUWJUDSKLFWKDWZLOOEHDFFRPSDQLHGE\DQH[SODQDWLRQRUDWDEOH >F@6DPSOHVIURPWKHGDWDFROOHFWLRQPHWKRGVGLDU\DVVHVVPHQWVKHHWV SDUW RI WKH LQWHUYLHZ RQH WHDFKHU TXHVWLRQQDLUH DQG RQH DGXOW TXHVWLRQQDLUHZLOOEHSURYLGHGLQWKHDSSHQGL[RIWKHSDSHU  The initial version was rather general. The proposer mentioned some form of “grouping” [a] but did not describe the criteria for this grouping. He was evidently referring to content analysis, but he failed to describe what exactly he would be analysing or what categories he would be including. He also included no references to help the reader determine if the proposed method is based on an established method. The same applied in [b], with statistical analysis. The crossed-out text is indicative of the proposer’s lack of clear thinking and his confusion between analysis and the techniques involved in writing and presenting a master’s paper. In the second version, we requested references for content analysis [a] and the SPSS program, since a great deal of new literature has been published on these subjects. More information was needed on the “linguistic goals”, which were mentioned for the first time. In [b], we pointed out that the proposer cannot wait for the study to start before asking his professor for information on SPSS. The reviewer of the proposal will want to know if the proposer is able to use the program since there will be no time for him to familiarise himself with it once the study begins. At worst, the proposer should show that he has some rudimentary knowledge of the program. In the third version, the proposer responded to our comments by removing some information and adding references. 5HVHDUFKWLPHWDEOH >D@ , ZLOO EHJLQ   E\ VWXG\LQJ GLVWDQFH HGXFDWLRQ DSSOLFDWLRQV ± SODWIRUPV LQ WKH VW PRQWK DQG LQ WKH VHFRQG PRQWK   , ZLOO WKHQ UHFRUGWKHGDWD>«@,Q WKHWKLUGPRQWK,ZLOOKDQGWKHPRXWWRP\ VDPSOHDQGZLOODVNWKDWWKH\EHUHWXUQHGZLWKLQGD\VKHQFHLQWKHWK PRQWK,ZLOOKDYHEHJXQZLWKWKHUHFRUGLQJDQGDQDO\VLVRIGDWD>«@ >E@WKWK%LEOLRJUDSKLFUHVHDUFKDQGELEOLRJUDSKLFUHIOHFWLRQ >F@WK/HVVRQDVVHVVPHQWVKHHWVIRUGLDULHV >G@ǺOHYHOOHVVRQVYLD6N\SH >H@ -DQXDU\  4XHVWLRQQDLUH SUHSDUDWLRQ GLVWULEXWLRQ RI SLORW TXHVWLRQQDLUH FRUUHFWLRQ DQG GLVWULEXWLRQ RI TXHVWLRQQDLUHV YLD HPDLO DQGIDFHERRN



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>I@ )HEUXDU\  FROOHFWLRQ RI FRPSOHWHG TXHVWLRQQDLUHV  0DUFK  6HPLVWUXFWXUHG LQWHUYLHZ DQG DQDO\VLV RI TXDOLWDWLYH DQG TXDQWLWDWLYHGDWD >J@ $SULO0D\  :ULWLQJ RI ILQDO SDSHU UHDGLQJ E\ WKLUG SDUWLHV FRUUHFWLRQV >K@-XQHILQDOFRUUHFWLRQVXEPLVVLRQDQGSUHVHQWDWLRQ  Although deleted entirely, the initial version [a] gave us the opportunity to make some useful comments. In (1), we suggested that he begin studying the applications and platforms as soon as possible. In [2], the data should have been specified. Point (3) should have included information on sample selection. We also wondered if the questionnaire delivery method was a bit outdated. There was the risk of the questionnaires not being returned in time. The second version was quite lengthy and has not been included. In the final version, we emphasised that it would be a good idea to begin preparing the questionnaires earlier, [e]. Also, the timeframe exceeds six months. Perhaps the proposer was planning to ask for an extension but this cannot be used as an excuse for disregarding the submission deadline. $QWLFLSDWHGSUREOHPV >D@$WWKHPRPHQW,DPXQHPSOR\HGDQGKDYHHQRXJKWLPHEXWRQWKH RWKHUKDQG,DPPDUULHGDQGKDYHREOLJDWLRQVWKDWOLPLWP\WLPH >E@ $W WKH PRPHQW , KDYH IHZ SURIHVVLRQDO REOLJDWLRQV EXW LI WKHVH LQFUHDVHLQWKHIXWXUHLWPLJKWEHDSUREOHP >F@3RVVLEOHKHDOWKLVVXH  Points [a-c] are not problems related to the study. Time constraints and likely health problems are not scientific criteria and hence are not included in any analysis of results and do not affect these results. Although they will undoubtedly affect the proposer personally, they have no place in a research proposal. 6RXUFHVRILQVSLUDWLRQ >D@ , ZDV QRW LQVSLUHG E\ DQ\ SDUWLFXODU OLWHUDWXUH EXW E\ SHUVRQDO H[SHULHQFH 0\ VWXGHQWV IURP $WKHQV ZDQWHG WR FRQWLQXH RXU OHVVRQV HYHQWKRXJK,KDGPRYHGWR7KHVVDORQLNL >E@6RRQHVROXWLRQWKDWZHWKRXJKWRIZDV6N\SHZKLFKWKLVVWXG\LV LQYHVWLJDWLQJ 

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To save space, this section is presented in brief. Point [a] is indicative of appropriate reflection and the ability to connect research with professional experience. Point [b] was added to show this connection even better since this tool is the study’s main element. 3URSRVDO  3URSRVDOWLWOH >D@7KHPDWHUQDOILJXUHLQWZRZRUNVE\$OEHUWR0RUDYLDThe Time of Indifference ±Two Women  >E@7KHSUHVHQFHDQGLQWHUSUHWDWLRQRIWKHPDWHUQDOILJXUHLQThe Time of Indifference DQGTwo Women E\$OEHUWR0RUDYLD  Viewing the proposal comprehensively, in the first version we suggested that the proposer focus on the mother-daughter relationship. This relationship could have been included in the main title and the phrase “maternal figure” in the subtitle. We also pointed out that a title should not include parentheses, which may cause the reader to misinterpret it, and that the dash should be replaced by the conjunction “and”. No substantial changes were made in the two subsequent versions. .H\ZRUGV $OEHUWR 0RUDYLD QHRUHDOLVP WKFHQWXU\ OLWHUDWXUH LQWHUZDU OLWHUDWXUH SRVWZDU OLWHUDWXUH PDWHUQDO ILJXUH PRWKHUGDXJKWHU UHODWLRQVKLSV  All the appropriate words were included from the very beginning, with the qualifier “interwar” being the only exception. 5HVHDUFKWRSLF±5HVHDUFKILHOG±7KHPHV >D@ 0RUDYLD¶VZRUN LVNQRZQDPRQJRWKHU WKLQJV DOVRIRU LWV IHPDOH ILJXUHV0\GLVVHUWDWLRQ¶VUHVHDUFKWRSLFZLOOEHWKHPDWHUQDOILJXUHLQ The Time of Indifference DQG Two Women. 7KH WZR VSHFLILF ZRUNV ZHUH FKRVHQ EHFDXVH , DP LQWHUHVWHG LQ VWXG\LQJ PRWKHUKHURLQHV LQ UHODWLRQWRWKHLUGDXJKWHUVUDWKHUWKDQWKHLUVRQV >E@ 7KH\ DUH WZR GLIIHUHQW W\SHV RI PRWKHUV LQGLIIHUHQWSURWHFWLYH IULYRORXVPDWXUH GLIIHUHQW UHODWLRQVKLS ZLWK PRQH\ HWF  LQ GLIIHUHQW KLVWRULFDO SHULRGV IDVFLVPQG ZRUOG ZDU  DQG IURP GLIIHUHQW VRFLDO FODVVHVXSSHUPLGGOHFODVVSURYLQFLDO  >F@0\UHVHDUFKILHOGLVFRQVHTXHQWO\WKFHQWXU\OLWHUDWXUHDQGPRUH VSHFLILFDOO\,WDOLDQLQWHUZDUDQGSRVWZDUOLWHUDWXUH



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In the initial version, we suggested that the mother-daughter relationship appear in the title, since it seemed to be a pivotal part of the study and the reason why the two works were chosen. This was carried out in part in the second version. For example, the proposer should have explained that (evidently) in some other work (or in the same works) the author also tackles a mother’s relationship with her son. For the third version, we asked the proposer to present the author, since it is not enough to state that his work is known. The third version contains more details on the topic under investigation, but without any references. 4XHVWLRQV±K\SRWKHVHV±PRGHO >D@ :KDW DUH WKH VLPLODULWLHV DQG ZKDW DUH WKH GLIIHUHQFHV LQ WKH PDWHUQDOILJXUHVRIWKHWZRQRYHOV" >E@'RHVWKHEURDGHUVRFLDODQGKLVWRULFDOFRQWH[WLQZKLFKWKHDXWKRU SODFHV KLV KHURLQHV DIIHFW WKH PRWKHU¶V FKDUDFWHU KHU FKRLFHV DQG KHU UHODWLRQVKLSZLWKKHUGDXJKWHU" >F@'RHVWKHEURDGHUVRFLDODQGKLVWRULFDOFRQWH[WLQZKLFKWKHDXWKRU ZULWHVKDYHDQLPSDFWRQWKHFKDUDFWHUVLQYHQWHG"  We suggested that the proposer refer to a “broader” context and that they add question marks. Points [b] and [c] are essentially different but the phrasing makes them seem the same. 7KHRUHWLFDODQGFRQFHSWXDOIUDPHZRUN >D@&RPELQHGSV\FKRDQDO\WLFDODQGVRFLRORJLFDODSSURDFK >E@ 7KH WKHRUHWLFDO DSSURDFKHV EDVHG RQ ZKLFK WKH VWXG\ ZLOO EH FRQGXFWHGDUHWKHVRFLRORJLFDODQGSV\FKRDQDO\WLFDODSSURDFKHV2WKHU DSSURDFKHV FRXOG DOVR KDYH EHHQ FKRVHQ EXW JLYHQ P\ UHVHDUFK TXHVWLRQV , WKLQN WKDW WKHVH DUH WKH PRVW DSSURSULDWH 5HOHYDQW OLWHUDWXUH>@ >F@ , DOVR EHOLHYH WKDW WKHVH WZR GLVFLSOLQHV DQG FRQVHTXHQWO\ DSSURDFKHV DUH LQWHUOLQNHG )UHXG KLPVHOI Civilization and its Discontents EHOLHYHGWKDWVRFLRORJ\UHSUHVHQWV³DSSOLHGSV\FKRORJ\´ >G@7KHVHDSSURDFKHVZHUHFKRVHQEDVHGRQWKHUHVHDUFKTXHVWLRQV >H@ 0RUDYLD¶V ZRUN LV GHHSO\ LQIOXHQFHG E\ WKH WKHRULHV RI 0DU[ DQG )UHXGDQGLVEDVHGRQWKHSV\FKRDQDO\VLVRIWKHSURWDJRQLVWV:HZLOO WKHUHIRUH KDYH WR UHIHU WR WKHVH WKHRULHV LQ RUGHU WR DQDO\VH DQG FRPSUHKHQGWKH,WDOLDQZULWHU¶VZRUN >I@ 0RUDYLD¶V OLWHUDU\ WH[WV DUH VHW LQ D VSHFLILF KLVWRULFDO DQG VRFLDO HQYLURQPHQW WKHUHIRUH LQ RUGHU WR VWXG\ DQG LQWHUSUHW WKHP ZH ZLOO KDYHWRPDNHXVHRIWKHVRFLRORJLFDODSSURDFK

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Since the initial version was only a bare-bones description, we pointed out that in the subsequent versions of the proposal the proposer should elaborate on and analyse the theories further. Additionally, he would have to explain why those two theories were chosen and how they would be combined to help form the theoretical framework in the proposed research. The second version, [b] and [c], again did not state reasons for this choice. The references added [b] (omitted here) not only failed to support the proposer’s statement but also showed, based on their inclusion in list form, that the proposer may not know the proper way to cite a source. Point [c] is an effort, albeit limited, to establish the theoretical framework. For the final version, we suggested that the proposer briefly describe how the above theories would be useful. 3UDFWLFDOFRQWULEXWLRQ 7KLV UHVHDUFK ZLOO KHOS WR GHYHORS D PRUH FRPSOHWH XQGHUVWDQGLQJ RI WKHDXWKRU¶VZRUNVLQFHLWZLOODQDO\VHWZRNH\FKDUDFWHUVLQKLVZRUN EDVHG RQ WKH KLVWRULFRVRFLDO SHULRG LQ ZKLFK KH SODFHV WKHP LQ KLV QRYHOV DQG WKH KLVWRULFRVRFLDO SHULRG LQ ZKLFK KH LQYHQWV WKHP >PHWKRGRORJLFDO GHWDLOV@ ZKLFK QDWXUDOO\ GRHV QRW KDYH D ZLGHU SUDFWLFDOFRQWULEXWLRQEXWZLOOFHUWDLQO\LQWHUHVWVFKRODUVDQGFULWLFVRI $OEHUWR0RUDYLD¶VZRUN  In literary research, the practical contribution cannot be clear, at least in the manner in which it is in other disciplines and fields of study, as is the case in education,for example. Nevertheless, we grabbed the opportunity to reiterate that more information was needed concerning the two frameworks and how they are related (e.g. whether they go hand in hand or conflict with each other). In the second version, information was added on methodology and we suggested that it be moved to the relevant section. 5HVHDUFKRULHQWDWLRQ >D@7KLVLVDFDVHVWXG\ >E@ , ZLOO FRQVXOW DQG XVH LQIRUPDWLRQ IURP WKH 3K' WKHVLV ǹʌȩʌİȚȡĮ ȥȣȤĮȞĮȜȣIJȚțȒȢ ʌȡȠıȑȖȖȚıȘȢ ıIJȠ ȑȡȖȠ IJȠȣ ǹȜȝʌȑȡIJȠ ȂȠȡȐȕȚĮ E\ + 3RQLURV$87K,WDOLDQ/DQJXDJHDQG/LWHUDWXUH'HSDUWPHQW >F@7KLVVWXG\ZLOODQDO\VHWZRZRPHQLQ0RUDYLD¶VZRUNEDVHGRQ  WKH KLVWRULFRVRFLDO SHULRG LQ ZKLFK KH VHWV KLV QRYHOV IDVFLVW LQWHUZDU SHULRG ULFK PLGGOH FODVV LQ 5RPH LQ WKH ILUVW QRYHO DQG VHFRQGZRUOGZDUSHULRGWKHSURYLQFHVLQWKHVHFRQGQRYHO WKHKLVWRULFRVRFLDOSHULRGLQZKLFKKHLQYHQWVWKHPIDVFLVWLQWHUZDU



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forming a RT/RI remains a challenge for the person creating a research proposal, even if he has previous research experience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he first part of the practical contribution seems to be a natural outcome of the RI. Although the next two parts stemmed from the proposer’s response to the feedback he received in the RI, only traces of it can be found in the RT/RI. The “mental and emotional impact” on the audience (that is, the research participants) is directly related to the agent that causes it.  7LPHWDEOH 5HVHDUFKSHULRGPRQWKV PRQWKVOLWHUDWXUHUHYLHZ  PRQWKV SLORW VWDJH FUHDWLRQ RI TXHVWLRQQDLUHV DQG LQWHUYLHZ DQG H[SORUDWRU\FRQWDFWZLWKUHVHDUFKSDUWLFLSDQWV PRQWKVHPSLULFDOUHVHDUFK PRQWKVGDWDSURFHVVLQJDQGDQDO\VLV PRQWKVZULWLQJRIILQDOIRUPRIUHVHDUFKSDSHU  The timetable is presented in brief due to space constraints. At the RT/RI stage, the concept of a deadline did not concern the proposer. The timetable is therefore not reflected in the RT/RI.  3K'5HVHDUFK3URSRVDO  7LWOH 5HOLJLRVLW\DVDPXOWLPRGDOPHDQVRISURPRWLQJWRXULVP$QLQWHUIDLWK DSSURDFK WR WKH VHPLRWLF SUDFWLFHV RI *UHHFH¶V DQG ,WDO\¶V WRXULVP RUJDQLVDWLRQV



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