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Studies of Children
Studies of Children Edited by GLADYS
MEYER
with an Introduction by DOROTHY
HUTCHINSON
Published THE
NEW
YORK
S C H O O L OF S O C I A L
COLUMBIA by
for
UNIVERSITY
KING'S CROWN
1948
PRESS
WORK
N E W YORK SCHOOL OF SOCIAL WORK STUDENT
PROJECTS
NUMBER ONE
Copyright 1948 by Columbia University Press Printed in the United States of America by Vail-Ballou Press, Inc.
KING'S CROWN PRESS
is a division of Columbia Univemty Press organized for the purpose of making certain scholarly material available at minimum cost. Toward that end, the publishers have adopted every reasonable economy except such as would interfere with a legible format. The work is presented substantially as submitted by the author, without the usual editorial attention of Columbia University Press. HMS
Preface
T H E N E W YORK SCHOOL OF SOCIAL W O R K p r e s e n t s h e r e w i t h a s m a l l
group of studies made by its students in one area of our field. This initiates a plan whereby from time to time selected studies in various areas may be presented in a form which will make them available to students in schools and practitioners in the field. T h e files of these studies have already had wide use both by students in the N e w York School of Social W o r k , by agencies, and by students in neighboring schools. T h e use that can be made of the material in its present form, however, is of necessity limited. This volume and the volumes which we hope will follow it should serve at least two purposes. It should add to the body of material in the field; and it should encourage the student body to recognize that where the quality warrants, student studies can be made available to a larger public. Certainly the younger members coming into the profession need encouragement in delving more deeply into the material with which they are working. Social work, as it continues its development, is in constant need of demonstrating to contributors and tax-payers the nature of its function and that its results can be tested or re-evaluated through research. WALTER W .
March, 1947
PETTIT, DEAN
Contents Introduction. Dorothy Hutchinson
ι
Psychological Problems of Pre-school Children. Katherine S. Wishik
5
An Experiment in Story-telling. Nanette Alberman & Virginia Schaeffer
26
The Single Woman as a Foster Mother. Loretta Renn Telling Adopted Children. Ethel
D. Eppich
& Alma
Jenkins
59 C. 96
ABSTRACTS
The Adopting Parent Sees the Child. Rea H. McCormick
133
Day Nursery Care for Two-year Olds. Gisela Julia Plowman
147
Girls Involved in Sex Offenses. Elizabeth G. Meier
157
Babies in Search of a Home. Shirley Ζaret
168
Introduction
T H E LAST DECADES HAVE BROUGHT
much new knowledge about the development of children. Many old maxims of child rearing are being abandoned as we have deeper understanding of the needs of the child. With this change parents and others who deal with children need help in making use of new knowledge. The amount of material available which gives us direct observation of children's problems is, however, still very limited. In the field of social work, from which the studies in this volume are drawn, there is a great mine of information which has never been sufficiently exploited. The "children's field" by comparison with other fields of social work has been less productive of professional writing. This is not due to disinterest, to incapacity, or to lack of conviction, but in part to the broad area and variety of settings in which the work of helping children is carried on: the school, the church, the social agency, the union, health and recreational centers. A sense of common identity among workers with the resulting articulation of knowledge, technique, and goals, is more slow in developing out of such multiplicity. Furthermore, the amount and degree of responsibility carried by those who work with children leave too little reserve of energy for research. Particularly, is this true in child placing where decisions with regard to the separation of parent and child have such far-reaching effects. The nature of this responsibility is more exacting than in any other field of social case work. Finally, our knowledge of children's feelings, development and needs, despite the great gains of the last quarter of a century, is still unfinished and in constant flux. This leads the conscientious observer to be tentative in drawing conclusions and hesitant in proclaiming certainties.
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T h e Studies of Children which comprise this volume have been made in the spirit of exploration. They do not claim to be definitive. T h e impetus to publish them has come not only from the paucity of material, but also from the freshness, enthusiasm and imagination with which the authors have viewed the problems selected. As young students of social work they are thoughtful, challenging and as yet unencrusted by tradition. Their hopes for humanity and their belief in the integrity and power of their profession are undaunted. W h a t they have observed and set down is of interest to all people who seek to deepen their understanding of children, to know how parents and children can be helped to meet the conflicts and struggles of growth in childhood, how some resources in the community can contribute. T h e first four studies are published in full, with the exception that in "Telling Adopted Children" some cases have been omitted for lack of space. In addition, the chief findings of four other studies are included in abstract with selected illustrative cases. In seven of the eight studies, the authors had direct contact with the parents, children or foster parents about whom they are writing. T h e studies were originally made as "professional projects," a required part of the graduate professional curriculum of the New York School of Social Work. T h e students assumed responsibility for the selection of the subjects and settings, for the development of the methodology and for the form of presentation. These reports do not necessarily reflect the thinking of the New York School nor of the agencies from which the material was drawn. T h e basis for their inclusion in this volume was originality of idea, method, or choice of setting. Every effort has been made to protect the persons whose problems have been studied. Names of persons have been changed, identifying material deleted and, where desirable, the agency from which the material was drawn has not been named. T h e settings for the studies include a municipal health center, a private school, foster-care agencies, adoption agencies, the children's court, a day nursery, a children's protective agency. If there is any one predominant theme running through the volume of studies it is that the problems of children are directly linked
Introduction
3
with the problems of their parents. The emotional and cultural pressures, the insecurity or immaturity of parents, their fears and struggles are directly reflected in their dealings with their children and in the children's subsequent behavior. W e are reminded that the hazardous road of parenthood is beset with many questions and anxieties. As Mrs. Wishik has pointed out in the first study, mothers want help, and she suggests a new channel through which help may be given. To social workers in children's agencies, the child is often seen too separately from his parents; yet even where parents are failing at their job of bringing up children they cannot be regarded as impersonal, unfortunate circumstances in the child's life. They are human beings to be reckoned with as such. Miss Renn's paper on "The Single Woman as a Foster Mother" throws new light on an old theme and, in addition, emphasizes the fact that own parents are part of the child's life in a continually living way even though separated from him. Miss Plowman's abstract on two-year-olds in the day nursery shows the helplessness of the child care institution without understanding co-operation from the parents. Problems with children are not confined to any one stratum of society and parents' inner difficulties are not necessarily determined by their economic or educational level. W e are shown children in a private progressive school in the study by Miss Schaeffer and Mrs. Alberman, and an interesting experiment is presented in discovering how to gain access to some of the difficulties these children are having in their relationships to their homes and to the school. Miss Eppich and Miss Jenkins find in their study of adopting parents that wealth and seeming security do not necessarily provide the inner freedom that makes a parent comfortable with a child. Some of the studies contribute primarily to our understanding of children's feelings and to the direct or indirect way in which they communicate these feelings. The dramatic response of one baby to a cruel procedure in weaning, the love of one little boy for his old hat as he is shifted from home to home, are examples of the feelings and expressions of children before they even can talk. Other studies primarily suggest improved ways of handling fa-
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miliar problems by giving deeper insight into the constellation of human beings involved. Miss Eppich and Miss Jenkins have probed below the adoptive parents' first confident statements to their children concerning the fact of their adoption, to discover where doubts, fears and personal pressures make them unable to face the truth. Miss Meier has challenged the attitude of the community and its agents in their dealings with the adolescent sex offender. Reaffirmed in each of the papers is the fact that every child is an individual and unique in himself. He comes into the world endowed with intellectual and emotional integrity. In the preservation of these qualities he is dependent upon many persons and institutions in society, but most of all upon his parents or parent substitutes. T h e challenge to all who work with children is to function in such a way that parents are enabled to meet the needs of their children, or where such help is inacceptable or inappropriate, the child is aided in using the best available substitute for the support he needs in preserving his individual endowment and in safeguarding his growth to maturity. DOROTHY HUTCHINSON
Psychological Problems of Pre-school Children Katherine S. Wishik 1
IN
A
PSYCHIATRIC
CLINIC,
THE
writer has seen many cases of severe behavior problems in childhood, as well as some infantile fixations and regressions which definitely related back to the early history of the individual. Some of these disturbances seemed to have developed out of situational difficulties which might have been arrested before they reached the intensity which ultimately necessitated referring them to a specialized clinic. This aroused my interest in certain questions. W h a t problems does an average mother face in raising a child? H o w does she handle these problems? W h a t is the child's reaction? Does the mother need help? T h e logical place for such a study seemed to be an agency to which mothers bring healthy children for other reasons than behavior disturbances. T h e W e l l Baby Clinics of the N e w York City Department of Health were selected as such a place. In the city of N e w York, there are sixty-four free Baby Health Stations caring for approximately 35,500 children a year. These stations offer routine, preventive health care to well children from birth to six years. This includes regular medical examinations, prophylactic immunizations, and instructions as to diet and general hygiene. Illnesses are not treated but are referred to hospitals or private physicians. Although physical care naturally receives the major emphasis 1. Deceased, Februaiy, 1947.
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in this program of preventive pediatrics, there is also a growing interest in the psychological problems of the child. This study took place at one Baby Health Station located in one of the large District Health Centers. During 1 9 3 9 , 1 2 2 7 babies were registered; 1 1 3 0 of these were under a year, fifty-three between one and two, and forty-four between two and six years of age. T h e clinic serves families of income groups ranging from those on Home Relief to some earning $42.00 a week for a family of five. Most of the families are of recent immigrant stock. T h e usual routine of the clinic is as follows: T h e mother is first interviewed by a nurse who obtains information as to family history, progress of the child, and dietary routine. T h e baby is then undressed by the mother and weighed by a second nurse. Examination by, and interview with, the doctor follow. After the examination, the doctor's instructions and recommendations are reviewed with the mother by the consultation nurse who also makes the appointment for the following visit. An attempt was made to obtain an unselected sampling of the clinic cases by interviewing the mothers at random. T h e writer had no previous knowledge as to the presence or absence of special problems. In all, the problems of one hundred children were discussed. N o mother was interviewed more than once during the course of the study. Interviews generally lasted less than half an hour. Mothers were seen after they were completely finished with the usual clinic procedures. This was done as a practical expedient so that the interviewing would not in any way interfere with the regular schedule of the clinic. This was especially important since mothers come at specified times by appointment. Also, it enabled the interviewer to find out what new problems were revealed in the course of a specially focused interview after the mother had already been questioned by two nurses and the doctor. An advantage of this timing was that the mothers were finished with the doctor, and therefore not anxious about losing their turn. On the other hand, they were interviewed after they had been at the clinic for some time and the mothers, as well as the children, were tired of being questioned, the babies were
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hungry, or there was a need to hurry home to another child. W i t h regard to this, however, it was found that the mothers were surprisingly agreeable and interested even when an infant was squawling for lunch or a three-year old was tugging to go out to the see-saws. T h e last nurse introduced me informally to the mother, saying, " W o u l d you go across the hall with Mrs. Wishik? She'd like to see you for a few minutes." T h e nurse then handed over the chart, from which I quickly got the names of mother and child. T h e mother was helped to collect her bundles (which were numerous whenever there were younger children) and then was taken to a small, quiet office where the interview was conducted in privacy and with as much relaxation as her children would allow. It was explained that I was working with the doctors, and that we were interested in finding out about some of the problems that mothers had in bringing up their children. H o w old was little Cleota and how was she getting along? In some such general way, the mother was encouraged to talk about her child and its problems. Information was gathered by informal questioning when not volunteered by the mother. M a n y mothers asked to have direct questions put to them as they did not know where to begin. It was necessary to take notes, but this was sufficiently in accord with the practice of the doctors and nurses in the clinic not to hamper the interview. In every case, information was gathered on the following topics: Age; number of siblings and their ages; health and problems noted on medical chart (this section was filled in by one of the attending doctors); history of weaning, eating habits and feeding difficulties; sleep; bowel and bladder training; fears; and on any other problems raised by the mother. This same type of information was noted on every sibling whose age made him eligible to the clinic. There was no attempt to probe family problems beyond those which were brought up by the mother in relation to the child's problems. In using a single interview technique, some extremely important problems were not brought up by the writer because it was thought that they would prove sufficiently disturbing to the mother to interfere with the obtaining of other information. For example, masturbation was not discussed at all. There are such strong cultural
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attitudes and taboos against discussing this that it is rarely brought up even by the doctors, and when it is, generally it is inferred rather than stated openly. For example, a mother recently reported to the doctor that her two-and-a-half-year old boy was "tickling himself" with the sheet. In an obviously embarrassed manner she wondered "if it was bad for the child." Another large problem area was only touched on, and the response to my most indirect questions was such that I recognized it as another "sensitive spot" about which I could not get valid information in this type of study. That problem was sibling jealousy. The mothers were so protective about this that it was evidently impossible for them to give the barest statements about that particular family problem. There was no attempt made to handle any of the problems raised. Where it was thought that the mothers could be helped by further discussion with the doctor, they were referred back to him with the recommendation that they keep their questions in mind until their next visit. It was felt that a completely passive, objective attitude would be disturbing to the mothers and, also, not conducive to the friendly relationship necessary for a successful interview. Therefore, my attitude was one of warm interest, and reassurance on simple common problems which did not seem to need further medical discussion. FINDINGS
Of the one hundred children discussed, fifty were under a year, twenty-eight between one and two, and twenty-two between two and six. The most common problems of children under one were those related to constipation, disturbance of sleep and feeding, in that order. This does not include hunger, which was the most common transient problem. With children between one and two, no single problem appeared to be more conspicuous than the others. More than half of the children between two and six presented
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of Pre-school
Children
9
feeding problems. Nearly the same number had trouble in establishing habits of bowel and bladder control. More detailed analysis of each problem follows.
FEEDING PROBLEMS
T h e largest single group of problems for the entire age range had to do with eating and feeding disturbances. These, in severity, ranged from "refusing to eat spinach" to complete loss of appetite and persistent vomiting, but all of them had as a factor in common that they were profoundly disturbing to the mother and caused tension between her and the child. Nine children under one year were reported to be feeding problems, seven children between one and two years of age, and fourteen children over two, a total of 30 percent of the children studied. In the very young child even a minor disturbance can be a harrowing experience for a young and anxious mother. For example, one mother of a healthy, husky four-months old child expressed great concern because her child's appetite was "only so-so." W h e n the baby vomited the previous week, this mother "broke down and cried." Another mother reported that she "nearly collapsed" when her seven-weeks old baby gagged a little on its milk. Occasional regurgitation is almost universal in young children but mothers often regard it with concern. Seven mothers reported vomiting as a problem in their youngsters. It turned out in later discussion that this was related in at least five of the cases to forced feeding of some food objectionat:' . ro the child. In one of these cases, the mother of a nine-months old child complained of his "poor appetite" and was unsatisfied with the weight of the child in spite of a very good gain. She changed the doctor's formula to one of her own and forced the baby to eat. The baby's appetite was still "poor" and the baby was constipated as well as a frequent offender in returning undigested food. Besides the problems mentioned, it was noted that there was a high proportion of young babies who were reported in the medical records as "hungry." This included sixteen of the fifty children who
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were less than one year old. Many of the older children were similarly reported to have been hungry as infants. This does not include a transient hunger present at the time of failing breast supply and quickly relieved by weaning or supplementary formulae. According to the doctor, hunger was evidenced by vigorous crying after the contents of the bottle had been completely eaten, also by the baby's failure to wait for the next feeding without protest. Few disturbances, even pain, seem to make a baby cry any harder than prolonged hunger. It was noted that this hunger was usually most marked the week before the visit to the clinic. In other words, the baby was satisfied with the formula for a period after the amount was prescribed by the doctor, but his appetite increased with growth, so that he was not getting enough by the time of his next visit. Hunger seemed to be most frequent among the youngest children during the period of most rapid growth, with its need for frequent diet increases. This fairly common existence of intermittent periods of food frustration, together with actual want, seems a highly undesirable situation which must be kept in mind as a potential source of disturbance to the emotional make-up of the growing child. Later feeding problems may well be started by unpleasant experiences related to early feeding techniques, and I should like to describe one simple incident observed in the clinic, which might well be one of these. A ten-months old baby was crying from fatigue and hunger after having been at the clinic all morning. T h e mother gave him a bottle which he grabbed eagerly, and there was a momentary pause in the crying. Soon the bottle was pushed away and Vincent began to wail again. From his appearance and tone, he was obviously all tired out. T h e mother shook him hard, shouting, "I'm hot and tired, too! Here!" W i t h that, she shoved the bottle back into the baby's mouth, forcing the milk down his throat. Vincent choked on the milk and had to be carried out, kicking and screaming. T h e feeding problems of children between one and two were not very different from those of the younger children. Some quotations from the mothers' complaints will indicate their nature. "I coax and
Psychological
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of Pre-school
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threaten Stephen but he won't eat. I give him a bottle at night but not to drink, only to suck." (The mother of this child, concerned over his slow gain, forces food on him). "Ronald was always a poor eater. Now he is refusing everything." "My child won't touch cod liver oil. He doesn't like beans." Another child "dislikes meat and eggs—is not eating too well." (His medical record shows a wellnourished boy.) "Carol is not eating well at all but she is gaining weight. She won't touch vegetables no matter what I do." Several mothers reported that teething had caused a sudden loss in appetite, but the fact that they had a definite reason for this seemed reassuring enough so that little anxiety was noted in these cases. One typical problem, it seems to the writer, is illustrated by the following case. Paul, eighteen months old, is called a "real feeding problem" by the mother. He eats slowly and only if shown pictures by her. He is in the process of being weaned from the bottle by having his bottle feedings reduced in number. The mother complains that this results in Paul's drinking less milk. The doctor advised letting Paul feed himself, but the mother has not yet done so "because then the baby would not get enough to eat." A very common complaint was difficulty in administering cod liver oil. Other children had special dislikes against certain types of food, such as vegetables, cereals, or fruit juices. Among these children there was one example of a really severe feeding problem which had to be referred to a hospital for study. This was a thirteen-months old little girl who had been a premature baby. She was always a poor eater, gaining weight very slowly but the mother reported that she was eating "absolutely nothing lately." She "won't touch solids," dislikes milk and juices, and according to the mother, has lived on nothing more than twenty-seven ounces of milk daily for several weeks. Forced feeding has been attempted all along with no success. There is no history of any vomiting. The mother is extremely tense in telling the story. She complains that the little girl, Alexandria, is "stubborn and has a will of her own that cannot be broken." She also emphasizes what a good mother she is to her baby; how hard she tries to make her eat. With tears in her eyes, the mother says that she herself has lost fifteen pounds in the last two
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weeks "from worrying." T h e clinic doctor referred this case for a complete check-up elsewhere to "rule out any serious systemic cause for the slow progress of this child." This mother is thoroughly upset by the situation and fearful of its possible serious implications. She needed all the reassurance the writer could give her about the "blame" for the child's condition. Many mothers of children over a year complain of their baby's poor appetite. T h e doctors explain carefully to the mothers that the rate of growth is slower the second year than the first and therefore the food requirement is proportionately not so high. This was repeated to the writer by several mothers but it did not seem to be sufficient to satisfy them as they were still complaining of the poor eating and admitted trying to force more food on the child. Among the older children studied, more than half of those over two years of age were feeding problems. Again we find the anxious mothers, as reported in the doctors' notes. "Adequate weight gain. Mother complains at every visit of poor appetite." "Food intake adequate despite mother's concern." "Forced to eat despite fair weight increase." Another mother of a two-and-a-half-year old boy is worried that he does not get enough milk, so she gives him a bottle after his regular meals each day, although he is otherwise completely weaned. It is interesting to note the number of cases in which the practical aspects of a situation are, in themselves, not sufficient to give a mother some insight into the lack of effectiveness of her techniques. Here is a typical mother speaking of her feeding of a five-year old, always by force. "Probably it would be better if I didn't force him to eat because he doesn't eat anyhow." Only one mother interviewed reported that she no longer forces the child to eat "because I tried that, too, and it does no good." There were several striking cases reported by the mothers of children whose feeding problems had either arisen, or had been intensified by the birth of a younger child. Violet is a three-year old who has not gained in nine months. She eats poorly, vomits if forced. Her difficulties have all become intensified since the recent birth of a baby which "came as a shock to her." Although previously she had
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been feeding herself, she now insists on being fed. Marcia is another three-year old with the same story, with the added symptom of baby talk reappearing since the new baby arrived in her household. Kenneth, too, who is just over two "ate better last year before the baby came." He is still on the bottle and refuses all solid food. The mother complains that he is "skinny," although he is actually well-nourished. "He is backward and stubborn. Not like the baby." Two other mothers asked help for somewhat different problems. Karl, a two-and-a-half-year old boy, vomits up all solid food unless it is strained. Phyllis is a five-year old girl who "loves sweets and cakes but has no appetite for other foods." The mother says she has tried everything to make her eat—letting her eat alone, having her eat with the family; but nothing works. "What can I do?" the mother asks. "I can't feed her only sweets." Eleven out of all of the feeding problems were considered by the writer to be problems only in the sense that the mother thought them so. Most of these are cases in which the doctor has frequently attempted to point out that no problem exists. One can speculate on the causes for this "unnecessary" anxiety about food intake. Is it a cultural pattern; a result of education about the importance of nourishment to health; a left-over of the idea that fat babies are healthy babies? Can we trace it to the influence of radio programs "popularizing" health through paid food ads? Is it the standardization of weight levels for children, competition with neighbors for bigger and better children? Or, are there deeper psychological motivations beneath this need to feed? However we would choose to answer this question, seven mothers of this group were so upset by their real or fancied problems that they obviously needed some immediate help for their own anxieties and tensions. SLEEP DISTURBANCES
The complaints related to sleep, although of considerable variety, lend themselves fairly well to grouping according to age. Thirteen of the children under one were brought up for discussion by the
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mothers as real sleeping problems. Eight children under two were having such difficulty while only one child over two was so reported. In the young infant, sleeping periods are shorter and more easily disturbed by the physical needs of the child and by extraneous sounds. Discomfort after being wet or soiled, and hunger, become major elements in interrupting sleep. This disturbance is so extremely common in these youngest children that most of the cases are not considered problems by the mother but just "one of those things that parents have to live through with a baby." However, some young mothers stated that they became terribly upset when their first baby cried. At about six months, a new factor comes into play, namely, teething. This is a critical time in the development of annoying sleep habits, such as wakefulness, rocking, being taken into the parents' bed, etc. Several of the mothers stated that their children's sleeping problems had been precipitated by a single event, such as the onset of teething, or the occurrence of a severe illness. T h e ingenuity and patience of the parents is put to the test in attempting to appease the discomfort of the baby without starting undesirable habits. Some other minor difficulties in the younger child were described by the mothers. One six-months old girl is "just beginning to sleep well," while another child of the same age "fusses between six and ten every night," but sleeps well otherwise. Still another youngster falls asleep regularly at 10:30 each night, but never before. The mother is worried about the child not getting enough rest despite the fact that he is active and is getting along splendidly for his eight months. An anxious mother confesses that when her young baby wakes up and cries all night, she shouts, "shut up or I'll kill you!" and shakes the baby hard. This does not stop the crying and the mother later regrets the loss of temper. One mother is worried because her child rolls over on its stomach to sleep, no matter what position she puts it into. She fears that the baby will suffocate in this position. One mother, who has been taking her baby into her bed because of its crying, told the writer that her husband works at night and "frankly" she likes the baby's company. As the child grows older, he requires fewer hours of sleep, espe-
Psychological
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cially by day. The dropping of day-time naps entails some readjustment, which, at times, causes difficulty. In this connection, mothers often ask the doctor, "How many hours should my baby sleep?"— indicating their belief in standard needs for sleep, and their anxiety at possible deviation from such rigid standards. One child, nearly two years old, wakes up at one o'clock each night and cries. Another wakes up but plays quietly by himself for several hours. A one-year old will sleep well if put to bed after 8:00. Another, perhaps more sophisticated, was reported to refuse to go to bed until after 11:00. Several mothers stated that their children slept poorly until they stopped trying to force the children to take a day-time nap. Thus, as in the case of feeding difficulties already discussed, some of the problems rest merely in the attitude of the mother, rather than in actual fact. Such are the attitudes which cause mothers to force active, wide-awake children to try to sleep in the middle of the day, and often too early in the evening. Antagonisms and conflicts are the natural sequelae. Of the older children seen, only one, a child of five, seems to be troubling her mother with the problem of disturbed sleep. She is troubled in her sleep, talking out loud about the new baby. In this age group the entrance of new interests into the child's life introduces reasons for disliking sleep as the cause of missing fun and pleasure. Again, compromise and tolerance should be the order of the day. That only one of the children over two was reported to have sleeping difficulty seems surprising, and may possibly be a matter of chance sampling in the small series of cases. CONSTIPATION
W e might mention, before presenting this problem, that the nurses and the doctor with whom this project was discussed expected that this would be to the mothers the biggest problem. For various reasons, many mothers adhere to the idea that a regular bowel movement every day at a regular time is essential to the health, wellbeing, and "cleanliness" of the human race. The laxative sales talk plugs this "regular" idea as does advertisement for some foods, until
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the parents feel a great anxiety about those "impure wastes." A mother considers her baby constipated if its bowel movement does not exactly coincide with her conception of the normal. If she has heard a neighbor say that a breast-fed baby should have a stool after every nursing, her own baby is deemed constipated as soon as one feeding is not thus properly consummated. If she believes that a baby should have two bowel movements a day, then one is, of course, to her, insufficient. Mothers said they "waited" as long as twentyfour hours before they became alarmed. A young mother of a fivemonths old baby expressed pleasure at the quality of her baby's stool. "And it is regular every day, on the dot. She never disappoints me." Fourteen children under one year of age were reported to be constipated, four children under two and only one child over two. Eight of these were "false alarms," according to the medical notes which said: "Mother concerned about baby's constipation [two-months old child] because baby moves bowels only every two days. Baby is O.K." Apparently, this is one of the problems—true or false—which begins to bother mothers early, as some two-weelcs old infants were reported by the mothers to be constipated. This is probably due to the habit young infants have of crying, straining, and becoming red in the face before and during each bowel movement. Despite the passage of soft, pasty stools, the mothers called this constipation until reassured by the nurse or doctor. Three youngsters, all over a year, whose mothers complained of constipation, were described as "just stubborn," and two of these children were at the same time reported to be still soiling themselves. The mothers of these three indicated that they felt it was the child's fault, and recognized a kind of rebellious behavior directed against them. In four cases where the mothers themselves had diagnosed constipation, though not the doctors, they also instituted treatment. One two-and-a-half weeks old child was being given a suppository every day without medical advice. Another four-months old girl ("constipated just like me," says the mother) was getting prune juice with her formula, because she only "moved" every other day. One mother reports that she gives her youngster mineral oil every day. She is not satisfied with the doctor's help, feeling sure that
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her child is constipated and needs "something." An interesting case is Mrs. M. who gives her baby milk of magnesia every day "because she moves her bowels late in the afternoon, and it would be hard unless she got something to help." The medical chart said the bowels were regular but the mother says "they would not be if it weren't for the milk of magnesia." This mother does not know if the bowel movement is difficult for the baby but is "afraid it would be." From these illustrations, it is apparent that much of the problem of constipation is invented by the mother because of her own misapprehensions. This comes into special prominence during the teething period, when temporary loss of appetite results in less frequent bowel eliminations. At this time, the mother often institutes helps of one kind or another which, when continued, lead to a need for progressively stronger and more effective aid, and ultimately, to real chronic constipation. After a thorough analysis by the clinic doctor of the records of all the one hundred cases included in this study, only nine warranted the medical diagnosis of "constipation" at one time or another. In the older children called "stubborn" by their mothers, there comes into play the factor of attempts at forceful or too early bowel training, now to be discussed. BOWEL AND BLADDER TRAINING
If this were to be a larger, more exhaustive type of study, it would be worthwhile to stop here and delve into the psychological, cultural, and social motivations behind parents' attitudes toward the development of sphincter and bladder control, such as the competition between mothers of a particular neighborhood as to the age when training of the child is achieved, the scorn of the father for the mother who cannot get her baby trained at a certain age, the shame of a mother before her family and the world when her child regresses to soiling after a period of "cleanliness." Even when limiting ourselves to the immediate problem as presented to us by the mothers, it is possible to glimpse some of these underlying motivations. The discrepancies between the mother's attitude toward child training
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and the child's reactions to her attempts is glaringly evident even in the mother's own words. Thirty-two children were reported as having difficulties in bowel or bladder training or both. Naturally, the greater number of those considered problems in these respects were among the older children. Seventeen were over two years of age, eleven between one and two years. Four children, although less than a year old, were already deemed training problems by their anxious mothers. T h e mother's point-of-view is best expressed by quoting her directly. Referring to very young babies under a year, some said: " I started to train him at two months, but it was unsuccessful." " I tried to train her, but no luck," indicating a relatively passive feeling of resignation to an unwelcome situation. Others, with more drive, tried to shame the child. " I keep saying 'bad boy' whenever he wets." " I say 'shame! shame!' whenever I have to diaper her." T h e emphasis on training as synonymous with refinement and good manners was exemplified by the mother who said (of the five-months old baby) "She's as clean as a little lady. She just hates dirt." One Polish mother offered sensible resistance to the pressure of neighbors by saying of her eight-months old boy, "I'm not anxious to train him too fast—he has time." In the handling of the next age group, between one and two years, the mothers became more aggressive, forcing the child to sit on the "potty" for an hour or more, or actually resorting to spanking. As the mother battled the problem past the second year, her aggression and corporal punishment were coupled with unsuccessful attempts at reasoning with the child. T h e apparent discrepancy between the child's behavior on the one hand, and intelligence on the other, left her bewildered, resentful and anxious. "He should know better—he can talk so well." "I try so hard! I leave her on the potty for three hours sometimes, with no result—she's so stubborn." " W h e n Arline was just a tiny thing, she had her bowel movement on the potty so that neighbors and relatives gathered around to admire the sight. Arline thought she was pretty good. Sometimes she missed and went on the floor, but she meant well. Now she is two-and-a-half and still
Psychological
Problems
of Pre-school
Children
19
wets once in a while in bed. She is so grown-up and smart in other ways. She should know better." How do these same children react to this authority? The young infant may enjoy potty-sitting as a time of play and companionship. Or else, he may already have adopted his mother's attitudes toward the uncleanliness of excreta, as in the "little lady" already described. In other instances, open rebellion manifests itself at the very onset. "I trained him at one year. It wasn't easy. He hollered." Another little girl of eight months has a stool in her pants "the minute she is taken off the potty." In the next age group, mothers more often recognized the fears which their attempts at training engendered. "He's afraid of the big toilet," said one mother, "but I don't have a small seat or potty for him." This youngster is extremely timid and shy. Nevertheless, the high pressure methods continued unabated. In some instances, mothers described the obvious use, by the child, of the bowel and bladder functions as weapons. To the objective observer, this was apparently a give-and-take tussle between mother and child, but to the mother, the behavior was caused by some unreasonable quirk in the child's own personality. Three-year old Claudie wets at night, and in the morning on the way to the toilet. "Maybe because the floor is cold but sometimes it's for spite. I know!" A sixteen-months old girl suffered a traumatic weaning three months ago by having her mother stick her with a pin whenever she reached for the breast. Since then, she soils herself "against the wall, in spite." Her mother spanks her for this. As the child grows older, and the struggle more intense, his resentment begins to color his other conduct and activities. One fouryear old who is scolded and spanked severely for wetting, is a "cranky, irritable baby." Several children displayed the typical general behavior problems so commonly encountered. Bowel and bladder training was, in these children, only one of many difficulties. Whether they were causative or merely symptomatic cannot be determined from this study. One three-year old who wets on the floor has temper tantrums during which she makes herself vomit by put-
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Children
ting her finger down her throat. She then calls her mother's attention to it. The factor of sibling jealousy was conspicuously presented in several cases by the development of habit regressions definitely related to the arrival of a new baby. Several of the older children up to six who continued to wet the bed at night had no reports of any flagrant errors in earlier approach to bladder training. In review, while mothers try to shame, bribe, bully and spank their children towards early continence, they obtain instead fear, resentment, indirect manifestations of rebellion, or overt use of bowel and bladder as invincible weapons of reprisal. WEANING FROM BREAST AND BOTTLE
Ten mothers had difficulty in weaning their babies from the breast. In four cases, the mothers had to stop breast feedings abruptly in the first few months for one reason or another. These babies cried and refused bottle feedings for a variable period, up to several weeks. Six mothers, after nursing their babies for longer than average times, three of them into the second year, experienced difficulty when they decided on sudden weaning. Two of these children who were reluctant to relinquish the breast during the first year again showed difficulty the second year when the mother decided that the bottle had to be given up. There were three other children whose mothers had difficulty in transferring their children from bottle to cup, two of these well past two years of age. It is notable that decisions, when made by the mother as to the time of weaning, are not related to the child's readiness to be weaned, but rather to the mother's arbitrary decision that the child either should continue to be dependent on her, or should suddenly and conveniently grow up. It is also interesting in this connection that in none of the cases of weaning difficulty did the mother solicit the advice of the Baby Health Station physician as to the advisability of weaning, but initiated it entirely on her own.
Psychological Problems of Pre-school Children
21
Some children indicated their readiness to be weaned by drinking more from the bottle than from the breast, or by refusing the breast entirely. Some preferred the bottle from the start. This frequently produced feelings of guilt or resentment in the mother. " M y milk only lasted for two days but I couldn't help it." " T h e baby is not eating well. M a y b e my milk isn't good. M a y b e the baby should be weaned—not that I want to wean her." O n e young mother boasted that she is feeding her infant solely on breast milk, and that she will probably continue to do so for some time to come. A few descriptions of methods of weaning with their effect on the child will illustrate the problem more clearly than further discussion. Twenty-one months old Leila was weaned very abruptly from the bottle because her mother is expecting a new baby in two months and wants the child "to grow up." T h e mother put away all the bottles "for the new baby" and threw out the nipples used by Leila. Leila cried bitterly, was upset for a week, and since then has refused to touch milk in any form. After several weeks, "she is just beginning to eat again." Lorraine, at sixteen months, is an excellent example of one child's reactions to a particularly traumatic weaning. A t thirteen months, her mother suddenly decided that it was high time to wean her, so, thereafter, each time the baby approached the breast, the mother stuck her with a pin to emphasize the fact that this was now a forbidden pleasure. Lorraine cried in fright each time. Although she soon stopped reaching for the breast, she continued crying and vomiting for a week and refused all foods for some time. N o w she has temper tantrums and soils herself "against the wall." Her mother says it's "just in spite" and has no insight into the justification for the baby's resentment. In two other cases, difficulties appeared with the birth of new babies. One, a three-year old child, had been forced to give up the breast abruptly and unwillingly at two months. N o w with the birth of a new baby, which came as an unwelcome shock to her, she cries for her bottle at meal-times and in other ways is showing regressive, infantile behavior. T h e other, a twoand-a-half-year old boy, was weaned from the breast at one year because of the birth of a little sister. He has since had anorexia which is handled by forced feeding of solid foods, and by giving him all
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liquids in a bottle. One two-year old still drinks out of a bottle, "wants everything that his six-months old brother gets," and sucks noisily on anything he can get in his mouth. From what we have seen, we can say that the weaning period involves difficulties for both mother and child. It seems likely that the stresses incidental to so intimate a relationship between mother and child can have serious implications for the future, not only in relation to later feedings, but to general behavior as well. Better education about weaning and proper advice beforehand would do much to forestall later anxieties. FEARS AND MISCELLANEOUS
PROBLEMS
Mothers were not disturbed by the fears of their little children under one, as none was reported at that age. Eight children over one were reported to be afraid of diverse things like "the doctor," the quiet ringing of the door-bell at home, and fear of being left alone by the mother. Only those fears which appeared to disturb the mother or child excessively are included here. Two children over two, who were reported to be "afraid of people," behaved like timid, fearful youngsters during the interview. Tommy "startles at every sound." He is afraid of strangers and clings to his mother even when they are at home. Carol, the little girl who is frightened by the bell, cries if her mother does not reassure her at once by smiling. In most of these children, the fear was one of several disturbances, such as enuresis or difficulty in relation to eating. Several other problems that worried the mothers included "bad habits," such as thumb-sucking and nail-biting, and a few cases of car-sickness. Nine children were mentioned in relation to these. T h e significance of their problems seemed to vary from minor disturbances to symptoms of some underlying trouble. Mothers were eager to continue discussing these complaints with the clinic doctor when they learned that they could do so.
Psychological
Problems of Pre-school Children
23
BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS
Many of the problems already discussed under other headings might well be included in this general category. However, we are limiting this section to children who presented multiple complaints which seemed to have an adverse effect on the personality of the child, sufficient to warrant referral to a family agency or to a clinic set up to deal with problems of this nature. T h e five children who were considered by the writer to require specialized help were all over a year old. O n e typical case will serve as illustration of the others. Karl cried and hung on to his mother's coat throughout a fairly long interview. At twenty-seven months he has not yet begun to talk, and since the birth of a baby brother six months ago, has become more infantile in other ways. He soils his panties and the bed, and wets in spite of his mother's strenuous efforts to train him. H e is constipated, eats poorly, wakes up during the night crying, and seems, in general, to be an ill-adjusted, unhappy child. T h e mother complains of his temper tantrums, stubbornness and jealousy, comparing him to the new "good" baby. She says " h e is a real problem." "NO PROBLEMS"
Twenty children, or one fifth of the group, were reported by the mothers to have "absolutely no problems." Fourteen of these were under a year, five between one and two and one over two. T h e writer received the impression from several of these interviews that the mother's protective attitude prevented her from discussing her child freely. At this point, it must be strongly emphasized that children with problems are not considered "problem children." Bearing this in mind, and in view of the natural difficulties inherent in raising an "average" child, the number of children reported as having no problems seems higher than one would expect. CONCLUSIONS
W h a t conclusions can we draw from this study? T h e first two are obvious: that these average mothers, in raising their children, have
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problems which are disturbing to them; and that these problems result in destructive handling of the child at vital points of his maturation and education. The mothers need help, and what is more, it is apparent from their response to the interviews, that they want help. Can the Baby Health Stations give this help? This question cannot be answered finally within the scope of this study, since treatment of these problems must depend on their cause. Although the specific causes cannot be determined in each individual case, they fall into two general groups—the environmental and the psychological. The former includes those causes determined primarily by educational and by socio-cultural forces. Some common examples are: the traditional belief in the necessity for a daily bowel movement, the belief that fat babies are healthy babies, and the idea that the very young child must learn to say "thank you" and "good morning" if he is ever to become the courteous and considerate adult. In the group of causes labelled "psychological," the environmental factors just discussed are taken by the mothers and are used as vehicles through which to express their own deep-seated and unconscious emotional drives and needs. To illustrate, there is the extremely rejecting mother who will punish her child for wetting or soiling. It is obvious that the first group is more amenable to treatment than the second. Through successful elimination of widespread misapprehensions, it would be possible not only to correct, but to prevent, a good many of the undesirable practices of child-rearing. As is always true, prevention is much more desirable than the need for later cure, because mothers with only the normal amount of anxiety may, through an insistence on some unreasonable dictum, set up a vicious cycle of law, resistance to it, and ever-increasing tension and anxiety. Psychologically, sound education can do much to break through this cycle. The Baby Health Station seems to be an ideal place for this work with the younger child. It is the major source of professional advice available to a very large number of mothers of pre-school children. It offers the combination of trained and interested doctors and
Psychological Problems of Pre-school Children
25
nurses who have a good rapport with the mothers, backed by the accepted authority of the City Health Department. T h e Baby Health Station functions best in this respect when it works in close co-operation with other community services in a co-ordinated mental hygiene program. The fact that so many of the problems which have come to the surface in this study are due to the mother's poor handling should not be taken as an indictment of the mother, who is, after all, a reflection of the complex and conflicting mores of her culture. Rather does it point out that there is a great deal of work waiting to be done to help mothers who sincerely want help in bringing up their babies well, but who feel, in the words of one tired-looking mother, that "it's awful hard to raise a baby."
An Experiment in Story-telling Nanette Alberman & Virginia Schaeffer
T H E NEED FOR THE EXPANSION AND
extension of relationship and play techniques for use with children has long been apparent in the fields of casework, psychiatry and education. U p to this point, little dynamic use has been made of the child's reaction to verbal material. Classically, play therapy has used manipulative and representational materials. T h e child's fantasies, expressed in his own language as he plays, have given the therapist insight into the child's basic needs and problems. This approach, while of proven value with younger children, has often been unproductive when used with those in the older age groups. For the age group between seven and eleven, which approximates the latency period of development, the need for supplementary techniques is apparent. "Patients of this age neither play like small children nor give verbal associations like adults. Thus the analyst finds no clear way of access to t h e m . " 1 W e have attempted to work out a story-telling technique which makes use of specially focused stories and a uniform procedure to determine whether significant responses can be gotten from this group. In our initial experiment our goal is limited to an attempt to establish contact and to make diagnosis easy. W e began by making an exhaustive search for literature written for children in this age group and which might be suitable for use in such a technique, but found nothing which would meet the rel . Klein, Melanie, The Psychoanalysis of Children, London, 1937, p. 94.
Woolf-Hogarth Press,
An Experiment
in Story-telling
27
quirements. These called for stories to be: non-moralistic; directly related to the child's inner reality; capable of realistically resolving difficult conflicts; and concerned with fantasy materials that were clearly related to the child's own needs and problems, in an everyday setting. We therefore found it necessary to write original stories which would meet these requirements and produced four which, although technically imperfect and limited in scope, conformed to our requirements and were thought adequate for the initial experiment. After preliminary reading and discussion we decided that the factors to be considered, in order of their significance, were (a) object world relationship (to parents and/or parent figures, to siblings and/or other children); (b) personality structure; (c) symptomatology, physical and/or verbal (aggression, anxiety, compulsiveness, hostility, guilt, suspiciousness, withdrawal). Since object-world relationships are of paramount importance to children of this age group, every effort was made to focus primarily on these factors. The experiment proceeded through the following steps: 1. Determining actual story content; 2. Analyzing playschool teachers' notes on each child; 3. Evaluating children's initial reactions; 4. Determining the first story to be read; 5. Evaluating children's reactions to first story; 6. Determining the second story to be read; 7. Evaluating children's reactions to second story; 8. Evaluating children's total reactions; 9. Obtaining classroom teachers' notes after story-telling experiment; 10. Comparing data obtained from story-telling situations with classroom teachers' notes. THE
SETTING
A small progressive school was used for this experiment, where the Director and Faculty were interested in furthering research in the dynamics of children's behavior. Because their approach to
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Studies of
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education involved an awareness of the needs of the total child, there was an acceptance of our experiment and a permissiveness in relation to the children which we believe were of value in aiding us to make an initial contact. In order to divorce ourselves from the academic curriculum, it was decided that we would work with those children who were in the afterschool group, which is primarily recreational. W e believed that this defined our status more clearly for the children, although we realized that this group is, to a certain extent, atypical of the total school population. This afterschool group is composed of twenty-two children whose parents, for reasons of illness, employment or other activity, leave them in school from 9:00 A. M. to 6:00 P. M. Sustained classroom ties and personal friendships are less apparent with these children because the group is made up of only a few from each class. T h e children uniformly resent remaining, since this distinguishes them from the regular school group which leaves at three o'clock. The afterschool group is divided into two sub-groups on the basis of age. There are thirteen children in the younger, and nine in the older group. Each sub-group meets in a different part of the building, each has the use of a large classroom, equipped with play material, and there are separate outside play areas for each group. Each group has its own playschool teachers, from whom we obtained some history on each child. They acted as our liaison with the children. Of the total afterschool group enrollment, two children were absent during the entire experimental period, three children were unwilling to hear stories, and one child, who was told the stories, was excluded from consideration in the experiment because of his age (six years). The remaining sixteen children all fell within the age group from seven-and-a-half to eleven-and-a-half years, and are the group which was considered in the experiment. This group ranged in intelligence from low-average to superior. Their social, economic and cultural backgrounds were sufficiently varied so that the group was markedly heterogeneous.
An Experiment
in Story-telling
29
Each group of children was told by the play-school teachers that story-tellers were going to be there and they could each hear some stories if they wished. The story-tellers were introduced as such and given the child's first name. The child was invited to the particular room used for the experiment. The two rooms selected for this purpose were removed from both groups. In no instance was it the child's own classroom. Play materials (plastocene, finger paints, water, paper, and pencils) were set up on a low table with chairs at either end—one for the child and one for the story-teller. A wash basin was available to the child. A uniform method of approach was employed. The story-teller said first: My name is Miss . As you know, I am here to tell stories. I know your first name, but I don't know your full name. Won't you tell it to me? Following the child's response, the story-teller continued: Τ his is a special kind of story-telling. We have an hour to spend together. While I read to you, you can draw, or finger paint, or play with clay in any way you want to. [The play materials were pointed out to the child.] After his response, if any, the story-teller said: You can interrupt me any time you want to say anything or ask questions. The story-teller then selected one of the four stories on the basis of the child's play-school history, previously obtained, or his behavior up to this point, or a combination of both. (See individual interviews.) The story-teller then said to the child: This story is called [insert title]. The story was read at the pace set by the child. If there were interruptions, for example, the story-teller waited for the child to ask her to continue. If there were no spontaneous verbal responses at the conclusion of the story, one or more of the following questions were asked by the story-teller, in the following order: 1. What do you think of what happened to (insert main character's name)?
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Studies
of
Children
2. What do you think of children like these? 3. What do you think of the other people in the story? 4. Would you like to tell me a story? The story-teller evaluated the child's verbal reactions to the first story, selecting the second story on the basis of its relation to the criteria described. The second story was told when the child specifically asked for it. The initial instructions were not repeated. The child was told the title of the second story and the procedure outlined above was followed again. There was no interpretation of the child's verbal responses by the story-teller. Amplification was obtained only by repeating the child's exact statement in question form. No comments were made on the content of the child's play productions, although approval was given if the child indicated a need for it. The reactions of the individual child to the story-telling situation were then analyzed in relation to the criteria outlined; however, his play activity was not used. Following the story-telling, a history on each child was obtained from his classroom teacher, and a comparison was then made of the data obtained from the story-telling situation and the classroom teacher's history. THE
STORIES
The first story, "Dirty-Gert," is primarily concerned with the nature of Trudy's relationship with other children, and the character of her personality integration. Her symptomatology is clear. The personal and social consequences of actions are developed. Story number two, "Harold," is developed around Harold's conflict with authority. Its main concern is with his symptomatic behavior and his physical illness. His relationship to his working mother, his father's absence from the home, and his feelings about other children are touched upon. "Janet Runs Away," the third story, is about a child who feels she is unloved and unaccepted by her parents and by other children. Through the use of fantasy and direct action, she struggles to relate herself to both.
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in Story-telling
31
In the fourth story, "The Waterside Pirates," the central figure is a child who is over-protected by his mother. It develops his resulting difficulties in relating to children, and the support he is given by his father in handling them. "DIRTY-GERT"
It was snowing—big, sticky flakes. Trudy tried to blow smoke rings with her breath. She only walked in places on the sidewalk where there were no footprints. She stopped in front of the bakery and pressed her nose against the window. The pink birthday cake with candy roses all over it was still there. She could see her eyeglasses and her braces shining in the steamy glass. Suddenly she saw another girl's face next to hers. "Hi, Trudy." Trudy stared. The other face grinned. Trudy moved back a step. Why, this girl looked just like her,—except that her eyeglasses were broken, she was chewing bubble-gum through her braces, and her braids were all loose and snarled. "Who are you?" "I'm Trudy." "You are not." "I am so." "No you're not, I'm Trudy." "I'm Trudy, too. My name is Dirty-Gert-Trudy Laston. I live at 219 North Twelfth Street, Apartment 4E." Trudy opened her mouth and closed it without saying anything. That was her name, and her address, and even her apartment. She just looked at Dirty-Gert. "Whatcha doin', Trudy?" asked Dirty-Gert. "Nothing," said Trudy angrily. "There's nothing to do around here." "I know somethin' you could do. I bet the kids are playing snow fights at the playground. Bet you can get even on Nicky for dipping your braids in the inkwell yesterday." Dirty-Gert grinned as she talked.
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Studies of Children
"Yeah, that's what you say. How can I?" asked Trudy. "Come on up there. You'll see." Trudy turned away from the bakery window and blinked. DirtyGert was gone! There was nobody there! Trudy walked up the block to the playground by herself. The kids were working on two forts about half way across the tennis courts. She could see Janet Moore filling spaces in the walls of one fort with small shovels of snow. She wouldn't play with Janet. She always did the girls' jobs, just so the boys would let her be there. She was a sissy. Nicky called out to her, "Hey, Trudy. Want to be on our side? We're the Marines and Rocco's side's the Japs. W e got lots of ammunition and our fort's the biggest, but we need one more on our side." "O.K., Nicky." At least she wouldn't be on Janet's side. Nick had fixed the fort up with a piece of carpet and a fire in a tin pail. The fort was up as high as Trudy's nose. She could see a red flag on the Jap fort. "I'm Captain Nick and Harold and Tim are my lieutenants. W e men fire the ammunition. You can be the supply sergeant and pass us the snowballs, Trudy." " I don't wanta be supply sergeant. I want to throw snowballs, too." "Orders are orders, Trudy. Anyhow, girls can't throw straight." Before Trudy could answer the Japs' red flag went down and the battle was on. Harold and Tim and Nicky started to fire snowballs as fast as Trudy could pass them. None came back for a minute, and then the Japs suddenly started throwing snowballs from behind a pile of rocks ten feet nearer the American fort. "Dirty, sneaky Japs!" screamed Nicky. Trudy looked up. Why, Janet wasn't just a helper! She was throwing snowballs for the Japs just like Rocco and Sidney and Arthur. Boy, she'd like to fix that Nicky. Dirty-Gert would know what to do. Quick as a flash Dirty-Gert took the snowball away from Trudy and passed it to Harold. Dirty-Gert fed the ammunition from then on. She always put the snowballs just out of the boys' reach. In two
An Experiment
in Story-telling
33
minutes they were all mixed up. The Japs saw their chance and swarmed over the Americans' fort. Tim and Harold and Nicky were taken prisoners. Trudy made herself small and ran out of the gate and along by the brick wall. She ran as fast as she could but Nicky and Harold and Tim caught up with her by the bakery. They rolled her in the snow and pulled the hair ribbons off her braids and knocked off her eyeglasses. "O.K., men. That's how we fix traitors." Then they walked away without even looking back at Trudy. Trudy walked over to the window. The birthday cake was sold. She counted what was left: six chocolate eclairs and fourteen jelly doughnuts. Her nose felt cold against the window. She stared at her crooked glasses and messy hair. Dirty-Gert-Trudy Laston. HAROLD
Harold had the measles. He had come home from the playground yesterday afternoon feeling so tired that his arms felt heavy and it was hard for him to move his legs up and down the stairs. He and Nicky had a big fight over who was going to be the engineer on the subway train. Harold was pretty mad by the time he left for home. He felt funny and sad all night and the next morning when Olive came in to wake him, he was so hoarse he could hardly say "Goodmorning." "You'd better stay in bed, Harold," she said. Then, she called his Mother. Harold could hear them talking in the next room: "I think Harold isn't well, Mrs. Robinson," said Olive. "Oh dear," said his Mother in a low voice, "I've got to be downtown by ten for a meeting. See if he has a fever, Olive, or if he needs a heating pad. I'm sure I can leave it to you to call Dr. Hughes if he doesn't feel better soon." Harold hugged his pillow and waited to see what would happen next. And then, his Mother hurried into the room. She had on a
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Studies of Children
pretty blue dress and she smelled like sweet peas. It made Harold feel good even if his head did ache. She kissed him on the cheek and told him she had to leave but that Olive would take care of him. Harold nodded as she left. He felt like asking her to stay but he knew she would only tell him again how she had to go to work to pay for the rent and food. The tears started to move up into his eyes, but he pushed them back as he heard his Mommy call in from the hall: " B e good, dear, and I'll bring you something nice when I come home tonight." Olive came in with his breakfast on a tray. There was orange juice and brown cereal and milk. Harold felt sick to his stomach as he looked at the little specks of cereal sticking out from under the cream. It smelled so awful, he just knew it wouldn't go down. "I don't feel like eating," he said to Olive, expecting she would say he'd better, or he wouldn't grow up and be strong. But she only said: "Poor Harold, I guess you are sick for sure." And she took away the tray. Harold lay back on his pillow for a while, not quite awake or asleep, when he heard the doorbell ring. He could hear Olive's voice and another voice. A deep, low, man's voice. He couldn't quite make out what it was they were saying but he caught some of the words like: "since last night"—"don't know temperature" and "no appetite." Harold felt a little scared. Then, Dr. Hughes was in his room opening the little black bag and putting those funny silver things together. He looked down Harold's throat and in his ears and he took his temperature. All he said was "HMM" or " I see." Olive kept peering at Harold over the Doctor's shoulder. Finally, he made Harold lie flat on his back and rolled up his pajama top. "Just as I thought," he said. Then he closed his black bag and took out his pen and began to write. "Keep him in bed, and draw the blinds and have him wear dark glasses. He has measles. Then give him this medicine every two hours and I'll be back tomorrow. T h e most important thing is to keep the room dark, now don't forget that." By now, the little red spots that Harold had seen on his stomach
An Experiment
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that morning, were all over him—on his hands and face, and even between his fingers and toes. And he was very tired. He had his erector set and his peg board and his books all around him on the bed. He was sick of them all. He had played a couple of games of checkers with Olive and gotten tired of beating her. He was even tired of telling her his throat was sore and teasing her to go out and buy him some strawberry ice cream. His Grandmother had stopped over and brought him a game but it was a baby game. He wished Grandmothers had more sense. Even if they did kiss you and give you candy and nuts, they never seemed to realize that YOU had any sense. Most of all, he was sick and tired of the shades being pulled down and wearing those old dark glasses. Although he had teased for quite awhile, Olive had refused to let him pull up the shade—even one little crack. Harold looked at the clock on the dresser. It said twenty-five minutes to four. He figured out what he would be doing at that time if he weren't sick in bed. He missed the kids, Nicky and Trudy and even Janet and Baby. Maybe they didn't even know why he wasn't in school. He was sure something exciting was happening on the playground. He was dying to know what they were up to. Just about now, they would be going down the street past his house. He just had to see them. It couldn't hurt to take off the glasses and look out the window for just one minute! Harold got up out of bed. His knees felt a little wobbly, but he didn't pay any attention to that. He sneaked quietly over to the window so that Olive wouldn't hear him and he pulled back the shade. He peeked out into the street. There were some men and ladies walking along . . . some with shopping bags and some with baby carriages. There were three baby carriages and ten ladies and two men on the block. But, none of the kids were there yet. Maybe they went past already? Harold figured it out again. They left school at three, and it would be twenty after before the school bus reached this neighborhood. Then, everyone would go home first for milk and cookies. They never met before a quarter to four! Harold looked back at the clock. Still five minutes to wait. He remembered his dark glasses. The kids might not recognize him. It
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wouldn't hurt to take them off for just a minute. He would wait until the kids came along. He started to feel very tired so he held on to the window sill. All of a sudden, he saw the kids coming down the street. Harold got excited and tried to open the window a little more. THEN, he pulled off his glasses. T h e bright sunlight seemed to hit him right in the eyes and he couldn't see the street or the kids or anything. His eyes began to burn worse than when he got soap in them and he got scared and started to cry. Olive came running in. She was very mad and told him he had to stay in bed and do what the doctor said if he ever wanted to get out again. But Harold didn't care. He was so tired, it felt so good when she picked him up and put him back into bed, put his dark glasses on and pulled the shades down—tight. JANET RUNS AWAY
T h e school bus bounced along Second Avenue. T h e children were talking. Janet sat quietly in the corner. Suddenly, Harold shouted: "Hey, kids, let's sing!" Everyone yelled his choice. "How about 'Columbia the Gem of the Ocean'?" someone said. " N O , " yelled Trudy, " 'God Bless America' is better." "Yes," yelled the others, " 'God Bless America'!" After a minute, everyone was singing. That is, everyone but Janet. She started with the others but she forgot the words. She opened and closed her mouth for a while, making believe she was singing, but she only got mixed up and at last she stopped pretending. Janet brushed her blond hair out of her eyes and moved farther back in her seat in the bus. W h e n the song was finished, some of the kids started it over again and others began talking. Harold and Nicky were sitting in front of Janet and Trudy was sitting next to her. "Hey, Harold, what'll we do this afternoon?" asked Nicky. "I'm going on a trip with my friend Captain T i m on his tug-boat," said Harold. Nicky and Trudy started begging to go along. "Okay for Nicky, but not for you, Trudy—no girls allowed."
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"Please," begged Trudy, "you went with us to the Zoo in my car last week." "Yeah, Harold, that's right, we did," said Nicky. "Okay, you can come, Trudy, if you promise not to get scared and cry." Harold looked at her hard. Janet listened to all this and found herself wanting more and more to go along. A couple of times she started to open her mouth to ask, but she was afraid they would laugh or say no, so she didn't say anything. T h e others went on talking about what they were going to do and they didn't seem to notice that Janet was even there. T h e bus stopped in front of Janet's house. She got up and said "Goodbye," but everyone else was so busy, they didn't hear her. Janet walked slowly into the big yellow brick house where she lived. As she pushed the elevator button she was thinking: "If I go down to the dock where the boat is, then the kids will ask me to go along, maybe." She could see herself with Trudy and the boys, playing they were sailors and Navy nurses, or Columbus maybe, or the Pilgrims. Janet hoped it would be the Pilgrims. She let herself into the apartment with her key, and dropped her new library book on the hall table. She started into the living-room, but she stopped as she heard her Mother talking. " I don't know what I'm going to do with that child," Mrs. Moore was saying. "Certainly, we try our best, and yet, that child is so slow and dreamy about everything. She isn't doing well at all in school either, all I can hope is that it's a stage she's in." Janet tiptoed back to the front door, opened it quietly, and then, slammed it hard. "Is that you, Janet?" her Mother said. "Yes." " C o m e and have your milk, dear, and then go and practice the piano for an hour." " I want to go out with the kids," Janet said. " N o w Janet, you know I spend a lot of money so you can have music lessons, and I'm not going to waste it. Besides, you want Daddy and Mommy to be proud of you, don't you?" Janet said nothing. She walked into the kitchen and drank the
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milk that was waiting on the table for her. The tears began to roll down her cheeks. "Mommy and Daddy are mean," she thought, "they don't act like a Mommy and Daddy ought to." She thought about this a minute, and then she rushed through the living-room without a word to her Mother or Mrs. Collins. She went into her bedroom and closed the door. "They are not my real Mommy and Daddy," she thought. "If they were, they wouldn't treat me like this and say everything I do is bad. I bet they are just taking care of me for my real Mommy and Daddy." Janet looked at herself in the mirror and stood up just as tall as she could. "I'm really the daughter of an English Duke. My name is Lady Janet Bascomb. My father, Lord Bascomb, was away exploring in Africa when my real Mommy got sick. She got so sick she couldn't take care of me, so she had her faithful servant and his wife do it. The servant's wife died and so he came to America and took me along. The servant had to work when he got here, so he gave me to Mr. and Mrs. Moore to keep me until he made enough money so he could take me back to England! Now, my real Daddy is back home from Africa and my Mother is all better again and they feel awful because they don't know where I am. And they've spent a million dollars trying to find me. This Mommy and Daddy are not my real Mommy and Daddy, so there!" Suddenly, Janet got very excited. She thought: " I ought to run away! Then, a policeman will find me and in the station house, they'll recognize me, and my real Daddy and Mommy will come and they will be so happy to get me back!" She had to hurry though, or she'd have to practice that old piano. She looked around the room. She wouldn't take any clothes. Her real Daddy and Mommy would get her dozens of new ones like a Ladyship should wear! There was her big doll "Lolly" sitting on her bed . . . she couldn't leave Lolly. So, she picked up the doll and dressed her in her red cape and hood and shoes and socks. Then she
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put on her own coat and hat and sneaked quietly out of the house. Once out in the street, Janet stood still a minute, because she wasn't sure which way to go. Then, she thought: "I bet Captain Tim the tug-boat man was my real Mother's faithful servant. If I go to him, he'll recognize me in a minute and bring me to my real Mommy and Daddy!" She could see him now, saying: "Your ladyship, I'm so happy to see you!" Then, wouldn't Nicky and Harold and that fresh Trudy be surprised! They'd be sorry they weren't nicer to her before and they'd all want to be her friend. And Janet would forgive them and she'd invite them to meet her real Daddy, the famous explorer. She hurried down the street, past the playground to the dock. She almost forgot to watch for the red light and she just missed being hit by a car, because she was so excited. Janet was all out of breath by the time she got to the dock, and her hair was all blown about. She held on to "Lolly" tightly, and looked around. The boat wasn't there and neither were the children. She sat down at one of the benches and felt sad. "It serves Captain Tim right," she thought, "he was the one who left me, so he doesn't deserve to find me! I'll let the Police do that." She was tired from running and she decided to rest awhile. Besides, she wasn't sure of just what to do next. She thought of how sorry Mommy and Daddy would be when they heard her real parents had found her. They'd miss Janet and wish they'd treated her better! Janet got up and walked slowly past the playground. Soon she was in front of her own apartment house again. She wasn't sure of how to go ahead and prove that she was really Lady Janet, so she walked across the street and sat down on the church steps. She sat there holding her breath as a Policeman walked by. He didn't seem to even notice her. She looked at her house, and then she looked away quickly. "Maybe this cop doesn't know who I am, but the next one will," she thought. Janet picked up her doll and started walking again. She didn't
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watch where she was going. She was too busy thinking of the twenty new red dresses and the twenty new blue dresses which she would have when she was Lady Janet again. All of a sudden, she looked up. She was on a block that she couldn't recognize. She didn't know the houses or the stores or any of the children. Janet got scared and started to run. She ran down that block and up another, but still, she didn't know where she was. She started to cry, and ran all the faster. Then, as she turned a corner she looked up, and there was Mommy! "Janet darling, I've been looking all over for you; what are you doing here by the subway?" "Oh, Mommy," she cried, "I'm lost!" Mommy picked her up and kissed her and said: "Why Janet Moore, don't you cry. You're found now, come on home. Supper is ready." THE WATERSIDE PIRATES
Arthur pushed Trudy on the swing. She kicked her feet straight out as she went up and after four pushes she was way out of his reach. He stepped back and watched her. Now she was so high she was going to turn upside down! He shut his eyes tight. When he opened them he saw she was beginning to slow down. "Arthur, Arthur, where are you?" His mother rushed over. "Here's your milk and your sweater." Arthur drank the milk in sips, still watching Trudy. "Now the sweater, baby." He slipped his hands into the sleeves his mother held out to him and let her button all six buttons. "I'll be back to take you home at five, baby. The sun will be gone by then. Goodbye, dear." Arthur just shook his head. Now Trudy was pushing Harold on the swing. Harold came down fast and he and Trudy walked over to Arthur. "Hey, baby, how about playing on the old boat?" asked Harold. Arthur began—"My mother won't. . . ."
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"Yeah, baby, we know. Your mother won't let you. But this is a dare." Trudy was grinning. "O.K. A dare is a dare," said Arthur, as he walked between Harold and Trudy. He opened his sweater buttons slowly, one by one. He'd always wanted to get on the Lilly K. He'd never been inside a boat before. "Race you, baby." Harold sprinted out ahead. Arthur wished that he wasn't fat so he could catch up with Harold. He just beat Trudy. Harold jumped on the barge and held out his hand to help Trudy. Arthur looked at the space between the Lilly K. and the dock, and his sweater felt so itchy he threw it off on the dock. Then he shut his eyes and jumped. The boat swung away as he landed and he stared at the wide space of green water between the Lilly K. and the dock. Trudy and Harold were inside the little cabin and he walked over to it slowly. T h e wood smelled of tar and salt and wet. Inside, Trudy was arranging three boxes in front of a table. T h e table leaned crookedly against the cabin wall because one of its legs was broken. " Y o u sit in the middle, baby. You're a Pirate Chief, but you're our prisoner. We're the United States Navy and you have to do what we say." Arthur sat on the middle box. All he could see outside the cabin window was water, lots and lots of it. "Listen, baby—I mean prisoner. You gotta get us food and drink for six months at sea. And remember, sailors eat a lot." Harold walked to the door and squinted up at the sun for a minute. "It's seven bells now! You be back here at eight bells. That's four o'clock to you, baby. And remember the United States Navy will have its eyes on you!" Arthur tiptoed out of the cabin and watched his chance to jump back to the dock. He looked around carefully. Was that someone behind that coil of rope? No. So far he'd dodged the Navy spies. If only he had long legs like Harold so he could run fast. He crouched down and ran as fast as he could. "Hello there, Arthur. What's your rush?" "Gee, Pop, I didn't mean to bunk into you. Did you just get back?"
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' T u p , son. And I'm not going on the road again this year. I'm going to be selling cars right here in New York from now on. How's for coming over to the house?" "Gee, Pop." Arthur dug his toes into the dirt. A dare was a dare but he'd catch it if his mother ever found out he'd been on the Lilly K. Suddenly a police whistle blew three long toots. Arthur looked back at the Lilly K. Harold was blowing the whistle and Trudy was jumping up and down shaking her fist at him. "What's the matter, son? Having trouble with the crew of the Lilly K?" Arthur stared. His father wasn't joking. "Uh huh. I'm a captured pirate and I'm s'posed to get provisions for the United States Navy." "Got any pirate gold?" • "I have twenty cents that moth—I mean Captain Kidd gave me." "How about boarding yonder Man o'War and commandeering their stores?" Arthur's father pointed to Al's Ice Cream stand. "Aye, aye, Sir." Arthur and his father marched over. " I want three cokes, and I guess one bag of peanuts," said Arthur. "You seem to have more pirate coins that you thought, Pirate." Sure enough, he had another fifteen cents in his hand! "Boy, oh boy, you can make that three bags of peanuts, three cokes, and a box of ginger snaps." "Yes sir," said Al. Arthur held the paper bag carefully. "Come home soon, Pirate. Long time no see." "O.K., Pop. And gee, thanks." Arthur hurried back to the dock as fast as he could. Harold and Trudy pulled the rope so that it was just a short step from the dock to the Lilly K. T h e three of them went back into the cabin and sat down. Arthur put the bag down in front of Harold. "Here you are, Captain. That's all I could buy with my pirate gold." "Pretty good, Pirate," said Harold. "Yeah, pretty good, Pirate," said Trudy.
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They ate every crumb, washing the food down with what Harold called their rum. They cleaned up the Lilly K. "She's shipshape, ashore, men," said Harold. Arthur's house was the first they came to after leaving Waterside. "Night, Trudy. Night, Harold." "Night, Pirate. See you tomorrow." ILLUSTRATIVE CHILD: " M . "
CASES
SEX: M A L E , AGE: SEVEN AND A HALF
Play School History: Only child living with mother and father. Mother is employed. (Little is known about M. because he has only been at school a short time. ) Story-Telling: M. is tall for his age and has a winning smile. When he saw me on the playground the first day he said he wanted to hear a story. On the way to the playroom he explained that although he was called M. his whole name was Μ. Α. Ε. I asked what he wanted to be called and he said M. was all right. He sat down and listened quietly to the explanation of the procedure. He said he would draw with a pencil while I read. (Story Two selected because mother works.) During the reading of "Harold," M. asked: how measles look, how dark glasses make things look, how Harold feels sick. He looked pleased when he guessed that the man who came to see Harold was the doctor. At the end of the story he said that he had never had measles, but had had mumps. He added that Harold's grandmother reminded him that he had given his grandmother the mumps, and she had them worse than he did. He looked down at the piece of drawing paper he had not previously touched and began to draw with pencil. After a short pause he said he was drawing railroad tracks and a train. They didn't go anywhere. He used to live with his grandmother in a suburb and just visited his mother weekends in New York. Then he wanted to live in New York. Now he wishes he were back. He goes there weekends. He squirmed in his seat and asked if I would read another story.
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(Story One selected to learn about his relationships with children.) While "Dirty-Gert" was read he relaxed visibly. He walked over to another table for crayons, came over to my side of the table, leaned against me and fingered the book cover. He asked how a snow fort roof would be built, and said with lots of snowballs fitted together when I turned the question back to him. He said he, too, liked to blow smoke rings with his breath and walk in new snow. He described a snowstorm in the country when the snow was up to his waist and he could use his Flexible Flyer. He asked me why the boys removed Trudy's glasses and said, when I turned the question back to him, it was because she was bad. He added that Dirty-Gert didn't have any fun. W h e n I repeated "fun" he said he had fun sometimes. His mother leaves him in the playgroup till six because she works writing letters. "Sometimes we clean the house weekends, then I have fun." He began to dip his fingers in the paint jars messily but did not attempt to transfer the paint to paper. He asked for a third story but accepted my saying the time was up. He held my hand as we went back and waved as I left. He held his drawing behind with no comment.
Analysis:
Overt hostility toward his grandmother. Insecurity concerning his place in his own family group. Anxiety and feelings of being rejected by his mother. Actively entered into a relationship with story-teller. Identified himself with the unhappy child and with aggressive behavior. Ego integration seemed sufficient for him to react appropriately to the content of both stories. Expressed a strong need for libidinal satisfaction from storyteller and indicated libidinal deprivation. Social history obtained regarding M.'s having lived with grandmother and being shunted off to parents.
History Obtained from Classroom Teacher: M. is an only child who lives with his mother and father in cramped quarters in a hotel. His parents are both in their early twenties and impress the teacher
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as being immature and unable to accept the responsibilities of parenthood. They seem to exclude the child from their lives as much as possible, giving him little affection and inadequate physical care. M . often comes to school insufficiently clothed and without breakfast. T h e mother prefers to be employed although there is no financial necessity. The father, recently discharged from service, is employed and considered financially successful. M . is of average intelligence. This is the second school he has attended and he has been here only a short time. The teacher feels he is emotionally immature and is planning to have him placed in a younger group. In class, although usually quiet, when he does make bids for attention it is by crying, whining or baby talk. He takes direction from the teacher, but she does not feel that he has formed a relationship with her. He is not accepted by the group because of a preoccupation with toilet talk and his babyish manner.
Comparison of Story-Telling Material and Classroom Teacher's
History: The teacher indicates that there is parental rejection although there is no apparent realization of M.'s feelings about this. In the story-telling, M . brought out his hostility towards his grandmother and his insecurity, anxiety and feeling of rejection in relation to his mother. M. could only identify himself with the unhappy, rejected child who does not obtain sufficient libidinal gratification. T h e teacher's description of his bids for attention tends to corroborate this. M.'s attempts to relate to the story-teller as a "good mother" are significant in view of the teacher's feeling that he has not formed a relationship with her. M.'s appropriate responses to the story-content check with the teacher's observation that he is of average intelligence. T h e social history obtained during story-telling was unknown to the teacher. CHILD: " K . " SEX: MALE, AGE:
EIGHT
Play School History: K. is one of three children. He lives with his mother and two sisters. He is well liked by children and adults because of his charming manner. He is very aggressive.
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Story-Telling: K. waited until the last day to volunteer to come. Saying he knew where we were going, he ran ahead and hid inside the playroom. He looked pleased when I did not find him immediately. He said in response to my explanation of procedure that he would paint first and then play with clay. He asked for sticks with which to mix the finger paints, and when I said there were none, he said he would find some. He ran around the room, opened all the cabinets, and took some cookies which he found. Finally, he ran into another classroom and got some sticks from the teacher. He then sat down and said he was ready for a story. (Story Four was selected both because of play school history and my own observations.) K. began to paint as I read. He laughed when the children called Arthur "baby" and smeared blue paint, using the index fingers of both hands. He stood up, and for the remainder of the time maintained this position while painting. He made a series of wriggling lines, which he turned into eights and then amalgamated into a single mass. He didn't respond to the story, but when I asked the questions, he said that the kids were dumb and should have gone home if they were hungry instead of sending Arthur for peanuts. He went on painting for a while, and then asked for another story. (Story Two was selected in an attempt to elicit something of the parental relationships.) When I began to read "Harold," K. appeared interested. He was pleased when he guessed the doctor was coming. At this point he began a new plate, this time using red paint and making a latticework inside a circle and eights on the outside. At the point where Harold began planning to remove his glasses, K. started a third plate composed of black, brown and yellow stripes. He interrupted to say that the black was green. He continued making eights and curving columns which he bisected with two parallel lines. He appeared absorbed in his painting and made no comment at the end. He did not respond to the questions at all, but went on painting. When he finished, he went outside and washed himself. He came back with his hands up to show me the good job he had done at cleaning himself. He suddenly ran and hid again, curling up in one corner of a
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closet. When I found him, he said he was really looking for a comic book. He left his pictures without comment and ran downstairs by himself. Analysis: Nothing elicited regarding parental relationships. He formed no relationship with the story-teller, but his activity during story-telling seemed directed toward controlling her. There is little evidence of ability to relate to children in the stories. K.'s reactions were so meagre that no real picture could be obtained of his personality structure nor was any social history elicited. History Obtained from the Classroom Teacher: K. is the oldest child. He lives with his mother, two sisters, and grandfather. His father, to whom K. was strongly attached, died two years ago. K.'s reaction was an acute depression with fears about death. His mother is employed. Teacher knows that she is aware of the child's difficulties, gives him warmth and affection and handles him on a consistently non-punitive basis. K. is in a rivalry position with his first sister who, although two years his junior, is taller than he is. He gets along with his young sister and his relationship with his grandfather seems good. K. is of average intelligence. His manner is engaging and he is well liked by both children and adults. His relationship to both teacher and group is an ambivalent one. He conforms when it seems that his interest is aroused and withdraws, working independently, when not interested. He sits on a higher chair than the other children so that his small stature is not as apparent. He is preoccupied with sex and is involved in much sex play with girls. Comparison of Story-Telling Material and. Classroom Teacher's History: The teacher's history gives many more clues to his personality structure than were obtained through story-telling. From her history, K. seems to have a disturbance in his relationship with his mother, acute sibling rivalry, is preoccupied with sex play and was undoubtedly badly traumatized by his father's death. None of this seems to have even been hinted at in the story-telling. His aggressive controlling behavior as brought out by the story-telling is confirmed
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by the teacher. His limited ability to identify with other children also seems substantiated by her. CHILD:
"L."
SEX: MALE, AGE:
ELEVEN
Play School History: L. is an only child who lives with his mother. His father is out of the home. L. is very active, always taking chances and jumping from high places. Story-Telling: L. is a tall, thin, tense-looking boy. Before we reached the playroom he asked me to go outside with him to get a ballet costume which was stuck outside the second story window. He tried to climb up on the cornice, but could not reach it from the street. W e went back to the second floor and he leaned out of the window and retrieved the costume with a hook made of a wire coathanger. He returned it to the teacher and came back to the playroom; when I explained the procedure he said he would use the finger paints. (Story Two was selected because L.'s mother works and his father is out of the home.) During the reading of "Harold" he smeared brown paint all over the page, saying "gooey, gooey" under his breath. At the end of the story he said that he didn't like his mother to work either because if she didn't have to work he could live in the country. He moved to the city this year and he hated it. He said he liked the country because he went fishing or hunting in the afternoons. He has nothing to do in the city. When he leaves school in the afternoon he goes home alone on the "El" and he hates that. In the morning he rides down in the subway with his mother and that isn't so bad. He wrote a good poem on why he hates the city and it was printed in the school paper. His mother couldn't earn enough money in the country; that's why they moved. (Story Four was selected because L. asked for any story about boats or the water.) While I read "Arthur" he started a second plate, smearing brown and black paint. When he had a large amount in one spot he began to write his name with his finger over and over again. He continued
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to smear after the story ended and said that in his opinion Arthur was a sissy but he reformed. He liked Arthur's father. L. had a nice father, too. He was a supervisor and had a lot of men under him. He died four years ago. L. then got up abruptly and said that he had to go, because he could see by my watch that it was five o'clock. He wanted to take one plate home to his mother but decided that it was too wet. He said that he would leave them both with me and asked if he could have some clay to take home. When I said that he could he took a small piece of each color. Analysis: L. showed a strong attachment to his mother and an equally strong tie, with considerable anxiety, to his dead father. He formed a strong positive relationship with the story-teller. He identified quickly with the child of the working mother and the child with a good father. He appeared to have strong ego drives and good integration. Libidinally, he seemed involved, in his strong relationship with his mother, with some difficulty concerning the death of his father. Social history was elicited regarding mother's occupation, family's moving, and father's death. History Obtained from Classroom Teacher: L. is an only child. He and his mother board with a family. His father died about four years ago. His sudden death was traumatic for the boy and he seems to have been much attached to his father, since he refers to him constantly. L.'s mother is employed. She has considerable positive feeling for him, but the teacher thinks she has found it increasingly difficult to handle him. L.'s intelligence is superior. He has not formed any discernible relationship with either his teacher (a man) or the children, except that he is friendly with one boy who follows L.'s lead in aggressive and anti-social behavior. His attention span is so limited that he can never do the same thing for more than ten minutes at a time and cannot even meet minimal grade standards. He is hyper-active and responds violently to any sort of restraint. A special program was worked out for him in an attempt to utilize his unusually good man-
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ual dexterity. He was put in charge of shop work as the craft teacher's assistant but lost interest in this quickly, too. His teacher thinks he is pre-delinquent.
Comparison of Story-Telling Material and Classroom Teacher's
History: Parental relationships brought out by teacher's history with regard to L.'s feelings about his father check but are not so corroborated regarding his mother. The child's preoccupation with his familial situation is not observed by the teacher, nor does he link this up with L.'s difficulties in group adjustment. Story-telling did not elicit evidence of his superior intelligence. However, teacher's observations regarding L.'s attention span are not at all borne out by the story-telling. CHILD: " C . " SEX: FEMALE, AGE: EIGHT
Play School History: Second child living with mother, father and sister. Mother is some kind of executive; seems domineering. C. is sweet and timid, and does not follow through on things she starts. Sister, also in school, is very bright and charming. Story-Telling: C. is sturdy and attractive. She came with me only after repeated reassurance by the playschool teacher that she could take her weaving with her. On the way to the playroom she asked where we were going. She made no comment to my answer. While I explained procedure she got up and pulled over another chair. She attached her raffia work to the back and then set the chair in front of her.
(Story Three selected because of C.'s relationship to her mother.)
While I was telling her "Janet" she watched me closely, braiding automatically. When I reached the point where Janet dresses her doll she asked to be excused, saying she would be right back. She returned in a few seconds with a large doll which she said was hers and "lived" in C.'s classroom. When I said it was a pretty doll she cradled it in her arms and said her mother had made the doll's dress and petticoat. When I repeated this she said that her mother did a lot of things for her and slammed the doll down on the chair facing me. She asked me to go on. She made no further comment on the
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story and her only response to the questions was to name the children on her block. (Story One selected to learn about C.'s relationships with children.) She first interrupted "Dirty-Gert" to say that she liked to walk in the snow in the country. She likes the country better than the city and listed all the states in which she had lived and said that she was going to camp in the summer. She described how happy she was when it snowed one night while she was asleep and everything looked strange in the morning. At the end of the story she leaned her head on her hands on the chair back and said Trudy was bad and she wasn't happy. C. knew because she wasn't happy either. When I repeated that she wasn't happy she asked me if I had written the stories. I said yes and asked her why. She said that her mother writes stories and so does her sister. Her sister is ten, and big for her age. She never has to stay after school because she takes dancing and swimming and piano lessons. C. was going to take swimming lessons next year. She could go by herself. Sometimes her mother calls at school for C. but mostly she goes home by herself on the bus. If her mother gives her fifty cents she takes a taxi. She asked for a third story and when I said that the time was up C. said if I really liked her I would tell her more stories. I said I really liked C. but we had no more time. She asked me to carry her doll down to the playground. She held the raffia work and took the doll from me gingerly when we got downstairs. She walked away slowly without saying anything. Analysis: Insecure and anxious about being loved; considerable feeling of rejection by her mother. With story-teller, she demanded concrete evidence of affection and acceptance. Acute sibling rivalry was brought out in her familial situation. She identified herself with the children who were unhappy and rejected. She made some feeble attempts at establishing herself on an ego basis.
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Libidinal deprivations were indicated. She gave considerable social and personal history, including her familial situation, her mother's occupation, and information about the family's having moved. History Obtained from Classroom Teacher: C. is a second child. She lives with her mother, father, and ten-year-old sister. Her sister also attends this school. Her father recently returned from service. He had been away since C. was three years old and she found it difficult to accept his presence in the household when he returned. Teacher feels that she now has come to have some small measure of security which she has gained from her father's feeling for her. Her mother is a commercial writer, aggressive and dominating in all her relationships. She openly prefers C.'s sister because her older daughter is more outstanding. The family refuses to recognize that C. is in a rivalry situation with her sister in school as well as at home. C. is of high average intelligence. In her relationship with the teacher she is passive and takes direction easily. She handles her schoolwork adequately but never initiates any activity. She is accepted by the other children to a limited extent. Teacher is aware that she is unsure of herself and her place in the group to such an extent that she uses her own name, her middle name or her mother's name interchangeably on school work. She does not have any friends in the class. Comparison of Story-Telling Material and Classroom Teacher's History: While teacher has a good awareness of the child's situation, the social history which was obtained by story-teller gave some clues to her insecurity which were not previously known by the teacher. C.'s feelings of insecurity and her rejection by her mother, brought out in the story-telling, are borne out by the teacher's history as well as the child's feelings of rivalry with her sister. CHILD: " A . " SEX: MALE, AGE: SEVEN AND A HALF
Play School History: A. is an only child living with his mother and father. His father is a scientific worker of some sort. He gives A. involved scientific answers to even simple questions. His mother is
An Experiment
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53
employed. She never calls for A. He is friendly in manner and appears well-adjusted. Story-Telling: A. is sturdy and attractive looking. He said, " M e first," when I was introduced. He responded to my identification of myself by introducing himself by name and saying he would like to hear a story. As we went to the playroom, he asked why we were going upstairs. When I said that I wanted to tell stories to him without interruption, he nodded. He walked into the room, looked at the paints and giggled. He sat opposite me at my suggestion. After I explained the procedure, he asked if he could invent colors while I read, and I repeated that he could use the play materials as he wished. (Story Two selected because mother works.) A. giggled at the mention of measles. He squirmed and frowned at the description of Harold's mother. He was pleased when he guessed the doctor was coming. At this point he began to mix colors in a dish. He continued this while listening to the rest of the story. At the end, he said angrily that Harold should be glad to get back into bed. In response to my question, he said that Harold is a bad boy. He didn't do what the doctor told him, and grownups always know what's best for children. He smeared some paint which he had spilled, confining it to one part of the paper; then he looked at the story-teller anxiously and said it wasn't a picture but just colors. He began to clean his fingers compulsively. Then, he got up from his seat, walked over to a bookshelf and picked up a comic book. He said he liked comics and would read me a story. He picked a short episode about a doctor giving a patient shock treatment via the bill. He read well and said he thought the story was funny. He then asked for more stories. (Story Four selected to attempt to corroborate above parental and group relationships.) A. sat quietly until I came to the point where Arthur's mother calls him "Baby." Then, he began to squirm as he painted a circular figure over and over in one corner of the page. He interrupted to repeat that this was just colors and not a picture. At the end of the story, he stopped painting and seemed to relax. He made no spontaneous comment, but in answer to my questions, he said that Arthur
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wasn't much of a pirate, because he didn't have a gun and didn't dress like a pirate. Besides, he was a bad boy. He should have listened to his mother and not taken off his sweater. The other children should have given Arthur some of the food since it was bought with his money. And anyway, they didn't play right. They made Arthur spend his money for real instead of playing make-believe. When I said that our time was up, he requested my help in cleaning himself. He washed his hands over and over again. On the way back to the group, he held my hand and walked very slowly. He said goodbye stiltedly and then said that he was lucky because he was the first to be chosen for story-telling. Analysis: Overt acceptance of punitive parent figures with strong anxiety in relation to them. Related himself to the story-teller superficially, trying to be socially acceptable in an adult manner. Identifies with the child who is rejected and punished by the group. Is markedly conforming and seems to be adjusting this way on an ego basis. Seems to relate inappropriately on a libidinal basis, possibly avoiding libidinal contact. N o social history elicited. History Obtained from Classroom Teacher: A. is an only child living with both parents. His father is a technical expert whose work requires many shifts of residence. Teacher thinks the father has feeling for A. but only seems able to express it by attempting to raise the child to his intellectual level. The mother seems less warm in her relationship to the child. She is a professional woman. She seems to rationalize her lack of acceptance of A. by using many child psychology catch-phrases. A. is of high average intelligence. This is his first year at this school. He is the youngest child in his grade. In class, he depends upon the teacher for direction, but handles his schoolwork adequately. He is friendly with the one other "babyish" child in the group and tries to get attention by making noises, faces and other-
An Experiment
in Story-telling
55
wise disrupting group activity. The group accepts him superficially but not enough to give him status. Comparison of Story-Telling Material and Classroom Teacher's History: A.'s anxiety and punitive picture of parent-figures, brought out by the story-telling was also apparent from the teacher's history, although there seems no apparent realization of his feelings about this by the teacher. His identification with the rejected and punished child is also substantiated by the history. His intellectual drive is demonstrated in the story-telling and checks with the teacher's observation of his intelligence. The teacher knew little of his social history. CHILD: " R . " SEX: FEMALE, AGE: EIGHT
Play School History: R. lives with her mother and some relatives. Her father and brother are both dead. Her mother shows affection to R. to which she does not respond. Mother tends to be a martyr about her difficulties. R. is aggressive in the group and has poor relationships with the other children. She is very untidy. Story-Telling: R. is a colorless child, markedly untidy in dress. She was the second child to request a story and rushed ahead of me to the playroom door, saying she could reach up to the latch. It had been too high for her last term. I said she had grown taller and she looked pleased. After the explanation of procedure she said she would draw and paint while I read. She said that she wanted me to know that she hated boys and would only listen to stories about girls. (Story Three was selected on the basis of her poor relationships with children.) During the reading of "Janet" she watched me intently, leaning forward with her head on her folded hands. She made no spontaneous comment and in response to the questions she said she didn't want to talk about this story but would like to hear another. She began to work on the drawing of several concentric circles which she divided into quarters.
56
Studies of Children (Story One was selected because of R.'s refusal to hear stories about boys.)
R . repeated "Dirty-Gert" several times and grinned each time. She began to mix and smear the finger paints in the dish although she was fairly careful in applying them to her plate. At the end of the story she said that Trudy was right: girls can't have as much fun as boys. She knew that Dirty-Gert and Trudy turned out to be the same girl and that Trudy didn't have much fun, neither did R . She said that this was a good story and went on with her painting, coloring alternate sections of the circles blue and yellow. When I asked her if she would like to tell a story she said she had begun to write one. She stopped painting and did not again refer to the painting. She began to talk slowly and dramatically, saying that there were once two rabbits, a good one and a bad one; the good one helped his mother and everyone loved him. The bad one teased and had to go to bed early. That was as far as she had gone. She added that it would be a good story if she could get a good end. She said that she had a rabbit her cousin gave her for Easter. She watched me as she said loudly that her uncle kept hiding the rabbit; once she found it in her doll carriage. She was going to keep the rabbit till it died then she was going to get a kitty. She got a kitty from the bakery once but she fed it too much and it got so fat her mother made her give it back. She said she wanted me to tell her another story. I said that our time was up and she said she didn't care. She had to go back anyhow. She could hear a child skating and she knew that her mother hadn't spent her good money to buy R. skates for the other kids to use. She ran to the door and opened it again. She said she was going downstairs with her eyes closed. I said, when she reached the bottom, that she had a good sense of balance and she squeezed my hand and said she would see me again. She then rejoined the group.
Analysis: R . showed a need for maternal approval and some ability to identify with her mother. She brought out hostility toward her uncle and showed an inability to relate satisfactorily to male figures. She identified herself with the unhappy, aggressive child. Ego seems fairly well integrated, since she is able to establish
A n Experiment
in Story-telling
57
herself on an ego basis and is free to assert herself aggressively. She gives the impression of not getting satisfaction libidinally from adults, but does obtain libidinal satisfaction from pets. She gave some social history regarding her uncle and her mother. History Obtained from Classroom Teacher: R. is an only child. She lives with her mother and a maternal uncle. She was an eight months baby whose father died a month before she was born. T h e mother is employed. Her relationship with the child doesn't seem to be a good one, in the teacher's opinion, although she cannot exactly define what difficulty there is. R. is openly hostile to her uncle who sets rigid standards of cleanliness and conformity which she flaunts. R. is of average intelligence. This is her first year at this school. Last year she was sent to a boarding school where corporeal punishment and rigid restrictions were the rule. Teacher feels she has no relationship with R. In the group, R. is aggressive. She is friendly with two girls whom she completely dominates. She avoids contact with boys. Her span of concentration is limited and she shifts aimlessly from one activity to another. Her cabinet at school is filled with an assortment of sticks, stones and bits of paper which she collects on her way to school, mostly out of ash cans. She takes a toy with her every day during rest period, but invariably spends the time masturbating covertly. Comparison of Story-Telling Material and Classroom Teacher's History: T h e teacher knew more of R.'s background than came out in the story-telling. However, R.'s aggressive behavior, her avoidance of relationships with boys, her hostility toward her uncle, her difficulties in relationship with her mother and her difficulties in obtaining libidinal satisfaction as brought out in the story-telling, seem substantially corroborated by the teacher's history.
CONCLUSIONS
In their reactions to the story-content, fourteen out of the sixteen children considered, spontaneously gave information about their feelings toward parents or parent-figures; fifteen gave some in-
ζ8
Studies of
Children
formation about their feelings toward other children; ten gave clues as to their personality structure; ten showed some definite symptomatology; and nine gave social history. A compilation of the individual child's responses resulted in a series of diagnostic pictures. In most cases, when these are compared with the corresponding histories obtained from the classroom teacher, the validity of our findings is sustained. W e have stated elsewhere that no attempt was made to interpret to the child his play activity. Neither have we used these responses in our interpretation because of the unconscious implications inherent in such activity. This does not imply, however, lack of awareness of the importance of this direct participation by the child in the process. It served as a technical means both to free him to enter a relationship and to give information. The result of this experiment in story-telling showed it to be a tool valuable both for initiating relationship with children and in eliciting "diagnostic" data. The number of children studied and the scope of available story-material are factors which make impossible broad generalizations at this point. W e could, however, determine in all cases and to a significant extent the child's ability to form relationships. The qualitative nature of these relationships, as indicated by his reactions to the story-telling, was, we realize, influenced by the child's level of maturity. W e were struck throughout by the reactions of the child to the emotional tone of the stories rather than to their intellectual content. It is possible to speculate whether having established relationship initially by the use of this story-telling technique, it would then be possible, as in any other casework or psychiatric situation, to focus on the reactions of the child and enter into a treatment relationship. It is our belief that the technique might be used effectively at any point in treatment to attempt to elicit significant material and to handle relationship.
The Single Woman as a Foster Mother Loretta Renn
T H I S IS A STUDY OF THREE SINGLE
women, each in the employ of a child placing agency, who have, in spite of their unmarried state, made successful foster mothers. W i t h the present shortage of foster homes, the whole philosophy of home finding has broadened, and many formerly untried resources have been t a p p e d Y e t , in spite of this, we find that the employment of single women as foster mothers is an area which has had comparatively little exploration. In attempting to discuss this possibility with other workers in the child placing field, I have usually been met with a startled elevation of eyebrows and the patient query, "Well, are they ever used?" or, "Of course they don't work out!" From here on, it is anybody's discussion while I expertly dodge such phrases as, "a child's right to a balanced family" . . . "abnormal women compensating for frustration" . . . "retardation of child's emotional growth" which are hurled with feeling from all directions. Occasionally, an unusually perceptive soul will conclude that perhaps single women do have a place in the child-care set-up, but she wonders where it is, or how we can know until they are tried. At this point, I usually turn up my three aces, Miss M., Miss R. and Miss D., who have been used by the New York Foundling Hospital over a period of years, and who, I feel, are really successful foster mothers. Having had indirect contact with these women, I knew that they were considered to be exceptionally good. My interest, however, was roused around the following points. Are they really as good foster
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Studies
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mothers as their reputations would have it, and if so, what factors are responsible for their success? W h a t were their motivations at the time of application? W h a t have they gotten out of boarding children, and what did they give to the children they boarded? Does the unmarried foster mother work equally well with both sexes and all ages of children? Is it possible for her to let the child go? W h a t about over-possession, which is a commonly accepted tendency on the part of the single woman? Is it possible to generalize on the types of service the unmarried foster mother is able to give to a child placing agency? Finally, does the fact that a woman is unmarried necessarily mean that she will not be able to give a child that which is necessary for his emotional development? These were some of the questions I hoped to have answered through this study. I realized, however, that one is not able to draw general positive conclusions through a study of only three homes; yet, I felt that certain characteristics common to these three women, who have successfully assumed the mother role, indicate the main factors which could be considered in the employment of a single woman as a foster parent. The New York Foundling Hospital is a private child placing agency in New York City, which has under its care Catholic children from birth through eighteen years of age. As source material I used the records of some fifty-five children placed in these homes, the three foster home studies, interviews with the three foster mothers, and discussion of each home with its respective case worker. Miss ANN M . Miss Ann M., who is known to the children in her home as "Aunt Nan," is a stout, pleasant woman of fifty-one. She has boarded nineteen girls during the past eleven years. In age, the children ranged from four to eleven at the time of placement, with the greatest number within the five to seven year group. Of the entire number, six were with her for only three months and under. Of these, two were temporary placements, two she prepared for adoption, one was discharged to her mother, and one was returned to her place of
The Single Woman as a Foster Mother
61
legal residence. Eight children remained with her between fifteen months and two and a half years. Of this group, two were discharged to relatives, two were placed with siblings, and four were transferred to institutions. There are at this time, five girls in Miss M.'s home. They range in age from twelve to sixteen, and have been with her from two to ten years. In order to understand Miss M.'s value to the agency, and her successes and failures, it is well to know something of her own background, her reasons for boarding children, what she expected to get from a child, and what she has given in return. Miss Ann M . is the youngest in a family of four girls, one of whom is now dead. She and her two sisters, Elizabeth, in her middle sixties, Margaret, in her late fifties, who are also single, live in a modern eight-room house which they bought about twenty-one years ago shortly after the death of their father. Their mother died when Ann was quite young, and she was raised by Elizabeth, who assumed the mother role, and who has apparently always been the dominating force in the family. Miss M . talks of having had "good times" in her youth, participating in the games of the day, going to dances, etc. One gets the impression, however, that the sisters have led quite sheltered lives, and that even before their father's death, they shared an interdependence upon one another. Miss Ann M . is quite different in appearance and personality from her eldest sister, Elizabeth. In contrast to Elizabeth's thin, straight-backed rigidity, Ann is stout, rather jolly, adaptable, and outgoing. Both women, however, are kindly, but the quality which might be called tolerance in Elizabeth, would be interpreted as understanding in Ann. T h e third sister, Margaret, goes to business every day, and is employed as a bookbinder. All three sisters have a refreshing sincerity of faith, and religion is a very important part of their daily living. Typically a "home-body," Miss Ann M.'s social contacts, which are limited to church societies and old neighborhood friends, seem to her to be fairly satisfying. At the time of application, Miss M . gave as her reason for wanting to board, "companionship and love for children." In discussing her motives eleven years later, however, we detect a basic loneliness, and
Ó2
Studies of
Children
a desire, by virtue of her warm, responsive nature, to gratify a fundamental need to love and to be loved. This may also have been a positive step away from the dominance of her eldest sister, although Elizabeth, herself, wholly approved of the plan. It was apparent, however, that these needs were not so exaggerated as to interfere with the normal development of children who might be placed in this home. " W e knew people who boarded children," Miss M . explained as she recalled the time prior to application. "They were married, of course, but they urged me to apply anyway. W e had this big house, and the big backyard which would be so nice for children. Now we don't know what we would do without them. The house is so lively. It seems as though we never knew anything before they came. Now the girls come in with little stories about this and that, and we know about everything that's going on." This statement reveals another underlying motive which is the desire for extension of interests. This has been emphasized by Miss M.'s preference for girls between six and nine years of age, and by her complete disinterest in boarding babies. It was felt, too, although Miss M. did not express it, that the boarding of children opened up to her a very genteel method of employment which would enable her to remain in a familiar environment, the sheltering quality of which would afford the confidence she needed for success in her work. This home was approved for pre-school and school age girls in 1934, and Mary G., six, was the first child placed there. With Miss M., possibly even more than with most other foster mothers, there was a great emotional tie to her first child. While to Miss M.'s mind little Mary had something special, and was particularly endearing, she was actually the concrete fulfilment of her desire for a child, and the practical approval on the part of the agency, of her assumption of the mother role. Even eleven years later the depth of meaning which Mary had for Miss M . can be somewhat realized, because in discussing the child in spite of the fact that Mary was in the home only three months, her eyes filled with tears as she said with gentle conviction, "I'll never forget Mary. She was the most lovable child. I just can't explain how I felt about her." She spoke of how she had
The Single Woman as a Foster Mother
63
cried when she heard that Mary was to go home. T h e test of her value as a foster mother, however, and a key to her own personality, was found in the fact that she did not let the child see the evidence of her emotion, and she prepared the child extremely well for the transfer. This same ability to give a child up was demonstrated when Frances G., age four and a half, was placed for adoption several days before Christmas. Although Miss M . had'been told of this possibility, " I went right ahead and bought all her toys, praying that she would get a good home, but hoping at the same time that she might stay with us. I explained it all to Frances who said, 'It's good if you say so, Aunt Nan.' She started to look forward to the day, and when it finally came, she went willingly to the agency with her little hand in mine. She went to the people without a whimper, but I did all the crying downstairs." As would be expected, this excellent preparation helped to carry the child over the bewildering first days in her new home, and the record of her adoptive placement indicates that her adjustment was very good. T h e transfer of affection to the new foster mother was made quite easily, and in spite of the fact that there was no father person in the home of Miss M., the adoptive father was readily accepted. Discussion around Miss M / s ability to let her children go, in spite of her own feelings about it, brought out another unconscious motive of service. In her own words she explained, "Even though I loved them very dearly, I knew they would probably forget me. Just the same, I have been able to give them something which will benefit them all their lives." In spite of the fact that four of the girls now in her home are adolescents, it is evident that Miss M . is better equipped emotionally and psychologically to care for children of the five to ten year group. T o this age child she is able to give wholeheartedly of her affection, and—equally important to her—to receive in return the child's conscious love and a type of dependence upon her, which is a source of much satisfaction. This, together with the fact that she is not easily discouraged, accounts in part for her ability to deal with the problems of younger children whose need for love is so impor-
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Children
tant. Miss M. recognizes each child as an individual with a wide variety of emotional, social, and physical needs. Although she is inclined to be over-protective at times, this does not interfere to any great extent with their normal development. She realizes the value of group activity, and encourages the children to make friends among the boys and girls of their own age, and occasionally takes part in their recreational activities herself. She and her eldest sister enjoy taking the children to the beach, amusement parks, and places of educational interest. The children's religious training is begun at an early age, and through Miss M.'s influence is made a very real part of their lives. She is inclined to stress scholastic achievement, yet is able to understand mental and educational retardation, and does not "push" children who cannot make the grade. Although not always understanding of underlying causes of extreme behavior, she is most acceptive of the worker's guidance in this regard. The children are given a sense of "belonging" out of which grows the security which so many of her children had lacked in their former homes. Dorothy, an out of wedlock child, was placed with Miss M. at the age of eight. Insecurity and rejection in her previous home were responsible for untruthfulness, stealing, and masturbation about which Dorothy showed extreme guilt feeling. Complete acceptance of the child as an individual needing love and understanding, and with no emphasis on her "bad" habits, gave to her the security which resulted in her good adjustment in this home. At the age of seven Mary was rejected by her adoptive home and placed with Miss M. in 1938. Restless, nervous, and ill at ease, she nevertheless made a good adjustment during her first few years there, although there has always been a marked rivalry with another girl in the foster home. Now that she has entered adolescence, Mary finds that the little satisfactions of childhood do not meet the increasing needs of an older girl. The flip, off-hand attitude which characterizes adolescence is interpreted by Miss M. as boldness and "disrespect," and results in a tendency to repress the girls who react in this way. In contrast to the younger child's need to form emotional ties within the family group, adolescence is the period in which there is the breaking away from them. There is, therefore, a
The Single Woman as a Foster Mother
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natural, positive assertion of independence, and a desire to form friendships entirely removed from the old order of things. Miss M. strongly disapproves of the girls making new adult friends in the neighborhood because "we do not know anything about the people they visit." W e see there, however, the fear of adult competition and the possibility that she may no longer receive the affection and approval which is so deeply related to her reasons for engaging in this type of work. The girl in adolescence becomes acutely aware of differences between herself and her companions, and she develops an intensity of purpose to become as much like other girls as possible. It is perhaps at this time that the absence of a father person in the home is most keenly felt. Miss M. expresses no concern about this lack of male influence, and possibly does not realize its importance because she herself has been a member of a manless family for so long. Although there is no direct male influence within the home, the husband of the woman next door, who has long been a friend of the Ms., takes a fatherly interest in the girls. He calls for them after informal dances or basket-ball games when they have not had their own escorts, and provides a rather casual father relationship which is, nevertheless, quite inadequate. Although she urges the girls to go to dances, participate in sports, and bring their boy and girl companions to the home, Miss M. is, for the most part, impatient with the extreme modes and mannerisms in which adolescents indulge. She tends to treat these matters in much the same manner as one would deal with younger children, and shows limited understanding of the girl as a person. Exceptionally well adjusted in this home, both in childhood and adolescence, however, are Marjorie and Catherine, who are sisters. Marjorie, born in March, 1929, was placed with Miss M. in 1935, a year before her sister came to that home. As this was Marjorie's fourth placement and her first separation from her sister, the child was timid, anxious, and insecure. Miss M. recognized the child's emotional needs, and, realizing the danger of pushing her into a group situation, kept Marjorie exclusively with herself for the first few most difficult days. Gradually, as she and her sisters took Mar-
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Studies of Children
jorie to the beach where there was children's equipment, the child was able to establish a superficial social relationship with other children. She was given the opportunity of normal play activities, had a delightful sense of imaginative play, and at the end of four months, her record notes that she got along exceptionally well with the children in the neighborhood. Parties on her birthdays, after school gatherings, and participation in school plays made for social integration in her childhood. Marjorie was sincerely devoted to her sister Catherine, and was so secure and certain of her place in the foster home that there was no apparent change in her adjustment after her sister's placement with her. Marjorie was graduated from grammar school the second highest in her class. She is now doing excellent work in her commercial course at the public high school. Although she is inclined to be the "studious type" she is popular with her high school friends, belongs to school clubs, attends school dances, and is quite fond of sports. She is somewhat shy in her relationships with the opposite sex, but Miss M . shows rather good understanding of the girl's situation, and encourages her to go out with boys, and bring them to the home, in an effort to overcome her self-conscious attitude. Her sister Catherine, now fourteen, was five at the time of placement in her present home. Separation from her sister prior to placement with Miss M . accounted greatly for the extreme nervousness, temper tantrums, and almost complete behavior change in a child who had once had a happy out-going personality. She was also reported untruthful and difficult to manage. She asked about her sister continuously, but because of poor health, Catherine was not placed with Miss M . until about a year after her sister. T h e girls were very demonstrative at seeing each other, and the foster mother seemed to have skilfully worked out an interpretation to both girls that they really "belonged." Miss M . recognized Catherine's "lies" as the result of an over-active imagination, and helped to direct the child's vivid fantasies into channels of constructive social play. She responded to the good physical care, and in time showed the positive effects of gentle, intelligent handling. Although not as educationally advanced as her sister, Catherine, nevertheless, does quite well in
The Single Woman as a Foster Mother
67
school. She too is popular with her classmates, and indulges in the usual activities of a normal fourteen year old. She is secure, apparently well adjusted, and happy in this home. Both Marjorie and Catherine are unquestionably the "favorites" in the home, and in spite of the fact that Miss M . deplores what she calls a partiality on the part of many foster parents toward their own children, she seems unconscious of the repetition of this very thing within her own group. One of the reasons for this might lie in the fact that although by no means withdrawn, Marjorie and Catherine are perhaps more responsive and even-tempered than are the adolescent girls Miss M . tends to reject. Marjorie and Catherine, too, are getting sufficient acceptance and mother satisfaction within the home so as to avoid the necessity of seeking adult approval elsewhere, as do the other two girls. Marjorie and Catherine's mother visits regularly, attends all events of major importance to the children, and, surprisingly enough, appears to be no threat to Miss M . Miss M.'s home has had a rather high percentage of regularly visiting parents. Although most of the children placed there have had family ties, the steadiness of their visits is in great part due to the foster mother's efforts. One of her greatest assets is her ability to handle the "own mother" situation. This is not in spite of, but rather because of the fact that she is single. Hers, she knows, is a substitute, and, of necessity, an artificial relationship. While she is to some degree possessive of the children in regard to unrelated adults, there is no evidence of rivalry in relation to their own parents. Appreciative of the true meaning of the family, the interacting rights and duties of the parent and the child, she sees also the three-fold relationship of the parent, the child, and the foster mother, and carries out these principles in the reality situation. While not actually identifying with the parents, she is understanding and accepting of them. They are respected, first, as parents, and secondly, as people; and if, on occasion, she questions their actual sense of responsibility to their children, these doubts are never mentioned. There are other children Miss M . has cared for upon whom we have not touched. T h e five year old K. twins, for example, whose disturbed behavior made them difficult to care for, stayed with Miss
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Children
M . for a year and a half. Fear of community pressure, and actual inability to cope with their difficulties, made it necessary for Miss M . to request their transfer. It was determined that these children were not actually foster home material, and upon the advice of the psychiatrist, they were transferred to an institution. Seven year old Johanna, who was a serious behavior and school problem, overcame many of her difficulties in the M . home. T h e other cases which, because of time limitation, we will not be able to discuss, were fairly consistent with those which have already been mentioned.
ANALYSIS
W e see in Miss M . a woman who, because of an unsatisfied maternal drive and loneliness, boarded children as a compensation, and really put to good use these emotions natural to a woman of her type. This desire for love was -also accompanied by a need for someone to be dependent upon her, which was possibly a reaction to her eldest sister's continuous domination. Fortunately, however, because of her own emotional integration, she did not identify herself with her authoritative sister in her relationships with the children who were placed under her care. Miss M . feels that she has gotten companionship from the children she has boarded, but we question this to some extent, for younger children are not capable of furnishing the type of companionship which an adult really needs. Perhaps she is getting it now, to some degree, from the adolescents Marjorie and Catherine, who receive her approval in return. These girls, who are docile and placid, seem also to be definitely tied up in Miss M.'s mind with her own youth, and somewhat approximate the type of girl she used to be. From the younger children, however, she has received such satisfactions as come from a child's trust and confidence. She has been rewarded with their responsive love, and the feeling of a job well done. In return, she has given them security, affection and understanding, the essentials of good development for any pre-school child. Miss M . is unable to work well with those adolescent girls whose
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expanding interests put her in a competitive position with other adults. This inability is also due to the fact that, by virtue of her own conflicts regarding sex, she feels an unusual responsibility toward the children at the time when they are starting to establish normal boy and girl relationships. Always very desirous of the approval of the community, Miss M . is also conscious of "what the neighbors will think" if any "scandal" should occur. Miss M . is quite cognizant, however, that her best work does not lie in the giving of foster care to adolescent girls. In this area, too, the lack of a father person in the home presents perhaps the greatest difficulty. Miss M.'s value to the agency as a foster mother, then, lies in her ability to care for younger girls, for it is to this group that she has the most to offer, and it is from this group that she receives fulfilment of the legitimate satisfactions which motivated her application to board children. M i s s GERTRUDE
R.
Miss Gertrude R. has boarded five children in the past three years, continuing the work of her sister, Miss Elizabeth R., who died suddenly in 1942. From 1931 until the time of her death, Miss Elizabeth had boarded nine girls, three of whom remained in the home when Miss Gertrude R. was formally accepted as a foster mother. Of that group, two were under two when placed in the home, and one was four. The two children who have been placed since Miss Gertrude R . has become the foster mother, were two years of age at the time of placement. Of this group, one child was discharged to her mother and one was transferred to an adoptive home. Three children remain with Miss R . at the present time: two little girls of two and a half, and one child of eight. Miss R., who is thirty-eight years old, is thin, slight of build, and rather drab in appearance. Not particularly responsive to adults, she is, nevertheless, courteous and sincere. Her sincere manner is at times surprisingly off-set by a casual gesture and a quick spurt of humor, which seems to transform her for a moment from a very plain type of woman to a rather vital person. In spite of the fact that her
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Studies of Children
vocabulary is limited, and her conversation rather colorless, she gives the impression of being very interested in activities about the home. She is somewhat prim in demeanor; but there is no evidence of the compulsive neatness which is usually associated with this type of person. Her home has a definitely "lived-in" appearance, and one would feel that it is almost exclusively utilized for the children. Doll carriages and roller skates present the greatest hazards to visitors, and it is very possible that, on a rainy afternoon, one would have to step rather high through the clutter of blocks, paint boxes, sewing sets, and musical toys in the living-room. Although not particularly interested in men, Miss R . has no apparent aversion to them. It is probable that she has not felt any particular desire for male companionship. Her social contacts are limited, and she may have had little opportunity, or created little opportunity, to meet men who would be interested in her. It is quite possible, however, that should she "meet the right man" she might, like her sister, marry late in life. Miss R . has very little interest in widespread community activities except as they affect her own small group. Her church, the married members of the family who are out of the home, and nearby neighbors, provide just about all the social contacts she finds necessary. These seem to be fairly satisfying to her, however, and there are no indications of abnormal withdrawal from community life. Miss R . has a mature character make-up and, unlike many single women, she is not unusually dependent upon any of the members of her family. Miss Gertrude R . is the third in a family of three sisters and one brother. She completed the eighth grade in school, and then, due to the illness of her mother, found it necessary to remain home to take care of the family. She has never been employed outside the home, and has, since childhood, concentrated most of her interests within the family circle. Her mother died twenty years ago, a few days before the family moved to their present address. W h e n her sister, Miss Elizabeth R., applied to board children, in 1 9 3 1 , their father was still living and present in the home, as were their unmarried brother and sister. In spite of the fact that Miss Elizabeth R . was actually the foster mother at that time, Miss Gertrude R . was closely
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identified with, and greatly contributed to, the children's supervision. There was at tliat time and still appears to be a good family relationship, built upon mutual respect and devotion of the members for one another. Her father died, and her brother married and left the home, so that at the time Miss Gertrude R . requested that she be permitted to continue caring for the children who had been under Miss Elizabeth's supervision, there were only an older sister and herself in the home. W h e n applying, Miss R. expressed her motive to be the desire to carry on the care for the children left in her home by the death of her sister. She said that she loved the children dearly, and inasmuch as this was really their home she was fearful of what transfer might do to them. T h e house, she said, would be empty without them, and she herself would be quite lonely. She had a deep feeling of responsibility toward the girls who had been there for years, and she wished to continue caring for them, at least until permanent plans could be made. It was her original plan to take care of only the girls w h o were already in the home. Although this was, perhaps, her conscious motive, we see a deeper meaning in the fact that she took other children when two of the original group left her home. It is easily seen that although she sincerely meant to prevent the necessity of moving the children to another home, at the time of her sister's death, she still had personal needs which would be satisfied only by the possession of children. It was quite significant, too, that after the children about whom she was most concerned had left, and her remaining sister had married and left her alone with the responsibility of an eight-room house, she refused to sell and give up care. Although her sister urged her to go into business, she took in a woman relative whose board would financially enable her to continue the care of the children. She expressed in words her own maternal feelings when she said, " I love having children around me, and I like to take care of them. It seems as though I have always taken care of them. Even when I was a little girl I used to wheel the neighbor's babies up and down the street, and enjoyed fussing over them." Regina, a child from her deceased sister's group, was the first to leave after Miss Gertrude R. had become the foster mother. Regina,
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an out-of-wedlock child, was born in October, 1932, and committed to the agency at the age of one month. Her mother, who was a mental defective, was institutionalized for several years. Regina was placed with Miss Elizabeth R . in 1936. She is described throughout her record as being shy, placid, and sweet, becoming more reserved as she grew older, and more inclined to play by herself. As a baby, Regina received excellent physical care from the R . sisters. She was taught songs, nursery rhymes, and a great deal of devoted attention was given to her social and intellectual development. She related well to the children in the home but had few outside interests. Actually, she lacked companionship of children outside the home because Miss R . was very germ-conscious and was reluctant to have her join groups in the playgrounds for fear of "catching something." Miss Gertrude R . is much less so, but although her fears of infection are not so pronounced as were her sister's, she, too, does not really encourage her children to find outside companions. Regina did excellent work in school, and at home within the protective circle of the family, she was given the opportunity of self expression. She was, however, too much a part of the adult group, participating in all adult conversation and being very much a party to conversation concerning the other children then boarding in the home. In later years, her mother visited frequently, apparently made a good social adjustment in the community, and finally married and took Regina home. Miss R . showed little emotion in discussing Regina after a year had gone by since her discharge. " I knew she would have to leave sometime," she said, "and her place is with her mother even though she had been with us for eleven years." In spite of the fact that she wept when she learned Regina was to go, she showed amazing ability to give the child up. She spoke of Regina's adjustment problems during the first few months home, and again assisted the child in her difficult period by permitting Regina to visit her from time to time. T h e child still looks upon her as "Aunt Gertie," and there still remains a happy relationship between Miss R., the child, and her mother. Dolores, another girl of the original group, was placed in an
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adoptive home. Dolores, born in 1936, was placed with Miss Elizabeth R. at the age of one and a half. A happy, active, well-balanced child, she was greatly loved by the R. sisters. When she entered school, however, she began to see the difference between herself and the other little girls who had father and mother. Miss Gertrude R. smilingly recalls the day Dolores came home and told her she wanted a Daddy. Taking this as a very natural request and not as a personal challenge, Miss R. handled the situation with admirable poise. She told Dolores that she would see what she could do about getting a Daddy for her, emphasizing the fact that it is quite the usual thing for little girls to have Mommies and Daddies, thereby not being on the defensive, but easy and natural. The next time they went to the agency together, Miss R. gravely told the supervisor of Dolores's wish. As the child's mother had recently died, Dolores was released for adoption, and a few months later, she went to meet her prospective adoptive parents. "Aunt Gertie" explained that being adopted meant becoming someone's very own child, and going to live with two people who would become her very own Mommy and Daddy. Dolores thought she would like that, and was especially delighted with the Daddy idea. She liked the people she had met and played with, and when the time came, she went with them eagerly. In spite of the fact that she had lived in a home without a father person, Dolores was responsive to the man, and had none of the signs of the fear of men one might expect of a child who had lived in the home of a woman who was shy of men. Dolores's adoption is soon to be completed. She speaks from time to time with affection of "Aunt Gertie" but shows no marked desire to return, which indicates that the emotional tie to her former foster mother was not so involved that she could not feel free to transfer her affections successfully to anyone else. Helen, age eight, has been in this home since infancy, and is still there. Her adjustment has been good, and she, too, is very fond of Miss R. Helen, however, shares this affection with her mother, who is a frequent visitor in the home. "The children all know that I am not their mother," Miss R. explained, "and if they have mothers of their own they are encouraged to visit." This we know as a fact, for
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both Misses R . were adept at handling the parent problem. It has, in fact, been no problem at all to this foster mother. She demonstrates here her understanding of the function of the foster home as a temporary means of obtaining a permanent plan for the children, or a substitute measure which is directed to the real goal, the full development and happiness of the child. Yet, good as her contacts with both mothers and fathers are, she does not identify with them, and is conscious, too, of the agency's responsibility in the formulation of plans. Miss R . shows no undue concern over the fact that most of her children are illegitimate. Having learned this time and again from the individual mothers themselves, Miss R. is able to discuss the situation quite openly and factually, neither excusing nor blaming them, and certainly not even considering that it could make any difference in her feelings toward the children. Two additional children, Lorraine and Jane, both two and a half years old, remain with Miss R. Both are definitely rejected by their parents, and have been in this home for only a short time, yet long enough to have derived some of the positive benefits, and long enough for us to observe the meaning of Miss R.'s relationship to each child. Of the two, Jane required the more physical care and training, and responded to the foster mother's attention with dependence and devotion. "She is always hanging on to my skirts, so much that I can't get any of my work done." Miss R . hastily added, however, that she was trying to "break" Jane of this habit. Jane has a mother and a father but no one ever visits her. She has a shy, placid, good-natured disposition, and is, in short, a "very good child." Miss R. hopes that any other children she gets will be like little Janie. Lorraine, on the other hand, who came to Miss R. as an emergency placement, was cross and irritable, and although she required as much physical care as Jane in the beginning, it was not, of necessity, as sustained as with Jane. Her intellectual development was considerably higher than the other child's, and she learned to do things for herself faster, and without as much assistance from Miss R . Lorraine is very active, aggressive and independent, and does not show the spontaneity of affection that one observes in Jane. She is
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visited from time to time by her former foster mother who intends to take her back into her home as soon as she is physically able to do so. Miss R . frankly hopes that will be soon, for she finds Lorraine's behavior much more difficult to handle than Jane's. Miss R.'s own sense of justice, however, does not permit her to show any conscious partiality to either child as far as actual care and attention are concerned. She shows, however, a deeper love for, and a more positive relationship toward the child who responds to her own affection and for whom she has to some degree "suffered" in terms of extra work involved. Miss R . prefers to take children about eighteen months of age because, " Y o u can train them into your own ways." She likes them to remain in her home until they are about nine, unless their parents take them before then. She showed considerable conflict about the handling of older children chiefly because they become interested in sex. Miss R . cited the example of one of the girls who had boarded with her sister, and who at the age of nine was "crazy about the boys." In a confidential tone Miss R . explained, " S h e used to ride down the hill on her bicycle with a group of boys and you can't tell what might happen. W e couldn't stand for that!" O n e gets the impression that her own inability to handle every-day normal boy and girl relationships would make it impossible for her to take the responsibility which the care of an adolescent child would involve.
ANALYSIS
Miss R.'s home has many positive values specifically for the preschool child, for it is to that group that she is best able to give devotion and care, and to get love in return. Very definitely, in this case, the desire for someone to love, and someone's dependence upon herself were the underlying motives involved in her application to board children. This was very clearly seen when, after her stated purpose for boarding children was accomplished, she readily took other children, thereby satisfying a very basic maternal need, which because of her specific state in life, could not otherwise be fulfilled. It is possible, too, that Miss R., who had taken care of her mother
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Studies of
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in her illness, and who had always more or less, with her sister's help, managed the house, looked upon boarding care as the continuation of the service she had been giving all her life. Her sister's suggestion that she take a job was rejected because a job would never actually compensate for her need to be loved and to have someone return that love. Having been all her life in the position of being very definitely depended upon by a fairly large group of people, the gradual loss of her family one by one, was quite threatening to her. She did then, the very natural and normal thing of directing this drive to the care of young children whom she unconsciously identified with the members of her family who had at one time needed her care and attention. Her ability to make a normal detachment from her sisters and brothers as they left the home, was also carried over in her relationships with the foster children in that she was able to give them up without feeling possessive. W e see, too, in Miss R., a woman who has always more or less been the one who has sacrificed for her family. She had to forgo her own education to care for them, did not take a job, and finally watched the family members leave her one by one. None of this, however, had an embittering effect upon her, for in each situation she found compensatory satisfaction which ultimately explains her personality. Her fears regarding care of adolescents shows possibly her own conflict regarding men in that the girls' relationship to children of the opposite sex seems to be her outstanding objection to this group. This may in part, reflect her own adolescent training which, we get the impression, was rather rigid. Here again, however, Miss R. shows good judgment in knowing her inability to work with this group and in being able to express the reasons why she cannot do so. The greatest lack in this home, of course, is the absence of a father person. Although she never expresses this in words, this lack is probably quite apparent, too, to Miss R., and appreciation of the fact that having two parents is the normal thing was shown in her handling of Dolores's request. She possesses a realization of the incompleteness of her home and the ability to let a child leave it if her complete
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development is impaired. In this lies one of her very great strengths and basic values as a foster mother. Her inclination to be over-protective, especially in regard to the school children making outside companions in the playground, also shows an unconscious attempt to have the children follow her own pattern of life and find their greatest pleasures within the family group. This is a very real liability, and in many instances would, especially in the case of an already reticent child, have far-reaching detrimental effects. It is quite evident, too, that Miss R . relates better to the quiet, shy, and not too intellectually advanced ohild. For these reasons, as well as the fact that she is able to transfer quite easily her affections from one child to another, it is felt that her greatest values lie in relation to the even-tempered pre-school child whose placement will be of comparatively short duration. Miss R . is another example of how "singleness" as such does not necessarily limit a person's capacity for foster parenthood. It is clear that here Miss R., in caring for foster children, is perpetuating the earlier habit of caring for members of her own family. T h e significant thing, however, is that there are few neurotic components in this. She has some compulsive characteristics, but on the whole is a well integrated person. Like Miss M., she likes the way she is and she seems to have little hostility, or it is so repressed that it does not operate. These facts account for her helpfulness as a foster mother for children up to seven years of age.
Miss
JOSEPHINE
D.
Married or unmarried, Miss Josephine D . is one of those rare persons an agency discovers much too infrequently. She can be considered a model of the best services a single woman, in the capacity of foster mother, can give to a child caring agency, as well as a pretty clear example of how an agency can develop and utilize to the highest degree the skills of the unmarried person in providing a type of substitute parenthood. In nineteen years Miss D. has boarded twenty-five girls and eight-
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een boys, a total of forty-three children. Upon placement, twentyfive were infants under a year, seven were between one and two years of age, six were between two and three, and five were between three and four years of age. O f these, nineteen children stayed with her for less than a year. Seventeen remained from one to two years, five for three years, and two for six years. Miss Josephine D . is now sixty-three years old. At the age of six she came to this country from central Europe with her parents and two older sisters. Some time prior to their arrival, her only brother, also a child, had died. T h e family was a closely knit one, with the parents taking a somewhat authoritative role. O n e gets the impression, however, that they were greatly respected and loved, and that there was a generally happy relationship among the members of this family. T h e financial status was quite low, and it was necessary for the girls to go to work. After the eldest sister married, Josephine and the sister who was four years her senior helped to support the family. W h e n the elder sister married, she brought her husband to her parents' home where they remained until the parents died. Miss D . apparently "kept company" for a time, but because of her deep sense of responsibility toward her family she never married. She said that she knew she would only have to bring her husband home, too, and that this was neither fair to her family nor to the man. For years, therefore, she continued working, first in a cigar factory and then in a rubber factory. W h e n children were born to her sister, Miss D . took much interest in them and participated to a great extent in their care. W h e n her parents died, Miss D . went to live with her sister and her family in the house she now occupies. She and her sister were devoted to each other and found mutual comfort, especially after the death of her sister's husband quite a few years ago. Her sister's recent death, within the last year, has been a blow to Miss D., who sadly admits missing her more than anyone can realize. She still occupies the same house, with one of her nieces who is now widowed and whom she helped to rear, and her grandniece. Although quite attractive in her youth, Miss D . is now rather plain and "mousey" in appearance. She is slight of build, has grey hair, a rather heavily lined face which becomes pleasantly animated when
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she talks of the children, and a warm, slow smile. She is shy, sensitive, and most responsive to praise. Quite ill at ease, unobtrusive and inarticulate in the office, she is surprisingly poised, gracious, and active at home. Miss D. is deeply religious, and her church attendance furnishes about the only social contact she has outside the home. Her visits to the office are events toward which she looks forward, and the worker's visits to her home are eagerly awaited. She has the custom when the worker calls of going through a little ritual of slipping on a freshly ironed apron, which has meaning to her, and settling down for a pleasant but nevertheless business-like visit during which just about everything the children and she have done since the last visit is recounted. Miss D . has always been on friendly terms with the neighbors and has several old friends she has known for years, and to whom she faithfully pays yearly visits. Such events are prepared for days in advance, and she takes delight in discussing them later with the worker. Possibly one of the most exciting events in her life in recent years was attendance at a luncheon given by the Foster Homes for Children campaign, which was attended only by the foster mothers who had been longest in the service of the various agencies in the city. For all her lack of social contacts and her simple tastes Miss D. is by no means eccentric. Her insight is amazing, and she has a delightful sense of humor. She keeps abreast of things through her niece, a breezy, well-balanced person who goes daily to business. Miss D.'s one hobby which, incidentally, grew out of caring for children, is photography. She has photographed, and had pictures made up in triplicate, of every child she has ever had. One copy she keeps in her own scrapbook, one copy she gives to the child's relative, and the other copy is for the agency. She is particularly interested in "before and after" pictures, and has numerous surprising pictorial proofs of the results of her excellent care. In spite of the fact that she has had a staggering number of children, her ability to individualize each child is remarkable. Flipping through the album of unmarked pictures, she is able to tell the name, approximate age, and several interesting facts about each child within its pages.
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Studies of
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Miss D. first became interested in boarding children through her sister, whose interest was stimulated by a neighbor. "Ever since I can recollect," Miss D. says warmly, " I can remember having children all around me. I loved to take care of my two sisters' children, and take them out to the beach and all over with me." Miss D. admits the financial reason as being partly in her thinking when she applied, but added, too, that she felt she would really be doing something good for children who had no one to take care of them, and also for mothers who couldn't keep their babies. She appears also, without saying it, to be conscious that this was a much better and a more satisfying way of spending her time, than working in the rubber factory. W e determine also something more of Miss D.'s underlying motive for boarding children, when nineteen years later, she says, "Everyone has a smile for me when I take the children out. People on the street talk to me and admire the children." W e see in this remark, perhaps, one of the biggest motivations which is approval or admiration from people who know her, for doing a very good thing. At the time she applied, her sister, who lived in the same house, was also boarding children; quite surprising for nineteen years ago, Miss D. was given a permit to board children at the same time. Because of the scarcity of material in some of the older records of Miss D.'s children it would be impossible to trace her development and values as a foster mother in terms of discussion around every child she has had. W e shall attempt, however, to show her ability to handle certain ages and types of children, emphasizing in this way her various strengths and weaknesses. Like most other foster mothers, both married and single, Miss D. had a great emotional struggle over parting with the first child in her care, yet she was able to meet this situation with the same outward objectivity which has characterized all her major problems with children. Theresa, who was placed with Miss D. at the age of seven months in 1926, remained in the home until she was six years old. Although she was discharged to her mother, this made the separation no easier for Miss D. " I was like a dish rag for weeks after," Miss D. recalls, "but I knew she would have to go sometime. Still, it was not easy to take."
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T h e second child, a boy who was in the home for six years while Theresa was there, was an unusually difficult youngster to handle. Considerably below average intelligence, Charles was sensitive, fearful, and given to extreme temper tantrums. Miss D., who was cognizant of the emotional implications of his mental make-up, handled him as a slowly learning child, and expended upon him much extra time and attention. At six, he was transferred to an institution, having had, however, the benefit of good early home training and understanding. Another child who was placed with her at about the same time as the first two, was transferred at the age of three, for both the agency and Miss D. felt that her greatest ability lay in the care of young babies. For a while, Miss D . took two infants at a time, usually those needing specialized care, and returned them for placement in other homes when they were a year or just under that age. T h e fact that she was a single woman with no direct responsibility to any other member of the family made the situation ideal for the boarding of babies. In addition to this asset, there was no husband in need of placating because of the infants' two o'clock hunger alarms. Miss D . had an excellent routine with babies, but she could be flexible too, when necessity demanded. She was particularly good with ill or convalescent infants, and gave unsparingly of her time and energies in bringing them back and forth to the hospital for special examinations and treatment. Miss D . took extreme pleasure in the amazement which the parents, the workers, and the other members of the staff showed when she brought back babies bursting with health and activity, who had been pale and limp a few months before. It is very probable, too, that Miss D. blossomed as much under the agency's approval as the babies did under her care. Miss D.'s contention was that it is the unattractive or handicapped child who is more in need of good care than the beautiful or normal child. Because of the excellent care she had given to babies, and because of her willingness to take any child, a little deaf pre-school boy was placed with her, pending transfer to a school for the deaf.
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Although he was with her for less than a month, she gave him the same type of care as if he were to remain for years. This, too, was her first venture into work with the physically handicapped. The home set-up in caring for cases of this type was fortunate in view of the fact that Miss D. was single. Very often in homes where there are two foster parents, the man, through justifiable need to be proud of his family group, would strenuously object to the placement of physically "different-looking children." A child of this type was Margaret, and the worker and Miss D. both recall with pride the physical and social transformation Miss D. affected in this child. Margaret, the seriously neglected child of a mentally ill mother and an alcoholic father, was committed to the agency at the age of three through the court. Upon placement she was described as being so repulsive in appearance that even an unusually sympathetic foster mother would have rejected her. Her head looked moth-eaten and was covered with sores because of her constant habit of pulling her hair. She had an alternating internal strabismus, and flopped her feet when she walked. She was affected with night terrors and screamed during the day. Margaret was completely untrained to toilet hygiene, and was fearful of strangers. She was given a tentative mental classification of High Grade Moron, and the psychiatrist advised a sympathetic foster mother and the encouragement of social play with boys and girls of her own age. Miss D. admits that she hesitated in her decision for a moment, but that she promised confidently to put a "big mop of curly hair on her head," and her niece adds to-day, "Believe me, Aunt Jo did work on her." Margaret was given olive oil shampoos every other day, until the invisible wisps Miss D. had imagined she could see became an actual crop of thick curls. At the same time, there was another development much more important than the curls. Feeling the security of the foster mother's enveloping affection, her gentleness, and understanding, Margaret overcame her night terrors. She learned to play with other little girls and boys within the protection of Miss D.'s fenced-in back yard. She developed motor coordination through the use of the kiddy-car, stringing beads, and coloring books. Miss D. taught her simple little prayers, nursery rhymes, and chil-
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dren's songs. W h e n she was re-tested nine months later, she was classified as having borderline intelligence, and the psychiatrist felt that she showed definite improvement in all the aspects of intellectual and social development. She evidenced no anxiety at the examination, and it was recommended that it would be to her advantage to remain in this home for a while longer for the foster mother "seems sympathetic and understanding of the child's limitations and has worked hard with her." Margaret was actually a physically beautiful and a socially desirable child when she was transferred to a home to be with her brother a year later. T o this child Miss D. gave the utmost in affection, security, understanding, and physical care. In return, she received Margaret's devotion and trust, the satisfaction of doing a job well, and the approval and admiration of the agency. Outstanding among the contributions Miss D. has made to the physically handicapped child, is the care she gave Ralph. The son of a destitute father and a frail mother, Ralph was placed in an institution with his five siblings at his mother's death. A large membranous swelling on his temple was diagnosed as a congenital dermoid. Although only three years of age, he already had had one operation for myosarcoma of the brain, and because of his serious condition the doctor advised against his mingling with the active older children one finds in an institution. In September, 1940, Ralph was accepted by the foster home agency for specialized boarding care. Miss D., because of her past experience and special abilities, was approached about his placement, and in spite of the fact that the protrusion, about the size of an egg, set Ralph apart from other children, Miss D . willingly accepted him. T h e gravity of his physical condition, the danger of his striking his head, and the necessity for him to keep his clinic appointments were all explained; and the responsibility was seriously accepted. " H e was one wonderful little boy," Miss D . recalls, "and we all loved him." She did not find the provision of special safe-guards too hard for herself, and at the same time enlisted the child's cooperation without fostering the use of illness as an attention getting mechanism. Miss D. carefully supervised Ralph's play and provided picture books, painting sets, and a
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great variety of toys suitable to his age, which could be bought in soft rubber and cloth. Twice a week she brought him to the hospital clinic, and although his social development and mental attitudes were good, the growth on his temple was cancerous and was starting to affect the eye. During the time Ralph was with Miss D., the boy's father visited frequently, and found Miss D. to be a sympathetic person who could understand his misfortune and his unhappy outlook. In January, Miss D . brought Ralph to the hospital for a delicate operation of bone grafting, which although at first seemed successful, was not lasting in its results. Ralph remained in the hospital for six months during which time he lost the vision in one eye, and because the brain was affected, underwent a complete personality change. During that period, Miss D. visited him and brought him, from time to time, little gifts for his amusement. T h e child died in June, but because of Miss D.'s gentle efforts, the last year of his short life had been made happy. There were two children between Ralph and her next handicapped cases. One child was discharged, and another was placed for adoption. In December, 1941, the agency placed in her home John and William, two deaf mutes who were two and three and a half years old respectively. T h e children, whose mother was mentally ill and whose father was obliged to break up the home, had been cared for mostly by relatives. W h e n they were unable to cope with the children any more, John and William were committed to the child caring agency for foster home placement until they were old enough for admission to an institution for the deaf. Miss D . claims that William, whose I.Q. was 67 upon placement, was very difficult to handle, and needed much more concentrated care than did his brother. He was physically frail, had a poor appetite, and was a feeding and training problem. He was fearful, unsmiling, and unresponsive. John, on the other hand, was of average intelligence and alert, friendly, and very easy to train. Miss D . recognized the children's intellectual and social differences and also was aware of the fact that their care entailed handling different from that of physically normal children. She took the children to the
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beaches frequently, encouraged play outlets which emphasized sight perception and muscular activity. In spite of the children's inability to hear or to speak, Miss D., by her own motherly warmth and affection, was able to communicate a feeling of security to the children. Upon re-examination fifteen months later, the psychologist complimented Miss D. on the excellent physical care and social improvement these boys had derived from her home. William showed a six month mental gain, and John was classified as being of superior intelligence. It was recommended that the boys go to an institute for the deaf. Although she had grown attached to the children, Miss D . made no pretense about being sorry to see them leave. Their care had been quite difficult, and they had made many demands upon her. Yet, in spite of the hard work she had done, the accomplishment brought its rewards again in terms of emotional personal satisfactions, approval, and appreciation by the numerous people who were involved in the planning for these children. Miss D. has had an excellent relationship with visiting parents. Her understanding of the unmarried mothers' situation, and the broken home, is very good in view of the fact that she herself had no experience with these social problems in the past, and came from a stable home where there was mutual respect. Regardless of the amount of good work Miss D. had done for a child, she was never possessive nor desirous of being first with the child in relation to his parents. Although she would not, perhaps, be able to express it, Miss D. seemed always aware of the two kinds of emotions a child feels in regard to his parents, and made every effort to direct both his positive and negative feelings. Although Miss D. is gracious and pleasant with the visiting relatives, she has never yet put the relationship on a friendship basis. She is conscientious about adhering to the agency's regulations regarding visits, but can be flexible, too, when the occasion demands. Realizing the parent's emotional needs when visiting the children, Miss D. gives the child as much time as possible alone with the mother during this period. She is able to get along equally as well with male
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visitors as with female, and has no preference in this regard. She is, in fact, happy if any relative takes an interest in her children. Any problems which Miss D. may have concerning visiting arrangements are seriously discussed with the worker, but she is never scornful, either in manner or in speech, about any of the parents who may have been difficult. Because of her ability to deal successfully with the parent situation and also because she was accepting of visitors, regardless of their often questionable appearance, her home was selected for the placement of Ruth and Patricia. Patricia and Ruth, who were one and four years old respectively upon placement, were the youngest in a family of three children born to blind parents, who earned their living singing and selling articles in the subway. There was much marital discord, the parents separating and going back together again spasmodically. T h e father was alcoholic, and although Mrs. S. gave the children as good care as she was able, she asked for their commitment to a child caring agency. T h e children and their mother were quite attached to one another, and the mother had many fears and conflicts regarding their placement. It was quite evident that she feared losing the children's affection, and that she feared a foster mother would supplant her in their regard. T h e D. home was interpreted to her especially in terms of the fact that the foster mother was a single woman, which was much less threatening to her, and the mother felt that she would be satisfied. T h e children's situation and the mother's relationship were interpreted also to Miss D., and in spite of the fact that the mother was blind, unsavory in appearance, spent most of her time begging, and would require careful sensitive handling, Miss D . accepted her as she would the most fastidious mother. Ruth, who was of average intelligence, was protective of her sister, fond of her brother, who was placed near by, and very loyal to her mother. She was quite stubborn and flighty, however, and difficult to manage. Social integration was achieved through play with the children in the neighborhood, parties, and use of the community playground. Miss D. encouraged a good relationship with her
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brother by taking her to visit him in the foster home near by. Miss D., however, realized that she was not able to give the child all she needed in the way of social contacts, and felt the responsibility of this quite keenly. When Ruth started to school, Miss D. herself expressed the fact that she was not able to cope with the problems of the school girl as well as she could handle the younger child. She felt that it was not fair, either, for a youngster to be deprived of the positive influences a father person would exert on a child of Ruth's ageT o the blind mother she was most sympathetic and uncritical, in spite of the fact that neighbors had observed the mother peddling in the subway. Miss D. would meet the mother at the bus, and after the visit was finished in her home, she would accompany the woman to the little brother's foster home. Needless to say, this took a considerable amount of time and patience, but Miss D. was most conscientious in fulfilling what she felt was her part of the job. After two years, however, the foster mother asked that she be relieved of the children's care, for she much preferred working with younger children. W h e n the two girls were transferred, Miss D. took twin infants who were awaiting adoptive placements. She has always been rather partial to twins, and during her career as a foster mother has had three sets. She used to have a twin carriage, and was proud of the infants when she took them out walking. It was a source of much delight to her to be stopped all along the street by friendly people who admired her beautiful babies. At the present time, Miss D . has only two children in her home, Jeanne and Antoinette, both four years of age. Miss D. realizes that these children need the experience of a complete family, which they are not getting through her. She feels, too, that because of her own years, the care of such lively children is becoming a little too hard for her. Her niece, too, feels that Aunt Jo should take things a "little easier now." But Miss D . intends to take a baby again when these children leave. She expresses a great love for her little girl babies, and seems to want to continue with this age group.
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ANALYSIS
W e see in Miss D . a woman who, although deprived of the opportunity of having a home and children of her own, was not made bitter because of the lack. Instead, she compensated for a very deep maternal drive by caring for other people's children. Her interest in home and children, from her earliest years through adulthood, was finally crystallized in foster parenthood, which has been a source of lasting satisfaction to her. Her warm, understanding, accepting attitude, and a natural ability to assume grave responsibilities, formed a combination of qualities which are essential in the care of infants, and serious physical problems. In the care of infants, Miss D . achieved as close an approximation to motherhood as was possible, in that she was able to give to frail, sickly babies what actually amounted to new life. She received in return an unusual amount of enriching emotional satisfaction from their care. This apparently had little to do with the length of time the individual children remained with her, for she was able to make an easy transfer of affection and had an abundance of love to give to each new child who came into her home. Indication, too, of her normal use of the children, was her ability to "give up" each child without any emotional damage either to herself or to the child. Quite apparent, also, was her understanding and full acceptance of her role with the children. She was always "Aunt J o " and never " M a m a " even to the babies who were learning to talk. Miss D . has a good realization, too, of her own limitations, especially in dealing with the higher age groups, and is cognizant of the fact that her handling of the older normal child is not as relaxed as it is with babies. Because of the solidarity of her own family group in her youth, she has a good appreciation of the importance of the father person and complete family to the full development of the child, and is especially sensitive to this lack as the child goes into his fourth year. This type of understanding shows, to a great degree, the foster mother's own maturitv, and realization that she, herself, cannot fill all the needs of a child. On the other hand, the absence of a foster father has been a dis-
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tinct advantage to many of the children who had exceptional problems, and who needed specialized care. It would have been an unusual foster father who would have "put up" with children as physically unattractive as Margaret and Ralph, or who would have tolerated problems presented by the little deaf and dumb children who needed constant attention. Although Miss D.'s social limitations and lack of participation in community activities would have been a serious detriment to the older child, it actually worked as an advantage to many of the children whose care she undertook. It is felt, however, that a broadening of outside interests would have made up for some of the relaxation she may have missed in the continuous care of the children. In the discussion with her of just what she has gotten out of her work with the youngsters, Miss D . says, "Caring for children is a good way of using one's time." She continues, " M y house would be empty without them, and I wouldn't know what to do." Her earlier comment to the effect that everyone smiles at her when she goes out with the children explains very well one of her satisfactions. Approval from her friends, and recognition of herself as an individual, attained through the children, is a major reward for what she has done. Deep religious reasons, also, expressed in the desire to do something good, rank high in motivation of her care of children. Most responsive to praise, Miss D. has had much pleasure from the admiration of the doctors, nurses, and workers in her care of the handicapped. This type of care brings with it pride in personal achievement, and once Miss D. had attained the reputation of doing unusual work with handicapped children, the agency did much to retain her confidence in herself, and also to sustain this type of service for children with similar problems. Through all this runs the current of real interest in children, and the sincere, conscientious desire to be of service to them. Unusual is the fact that Miss D. has only once or twice gone beyond her depth, but never without realizing that she has done so înd asking for help in rectifying the situation. During the nineteen years she has been active the agency has shared a great part in the developing of Miss D.'s potentialities, and the emphasizing of her
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strengths. It is very definitely felt that in view of her extraordinary work, and the satisfaction she has received, Miss D. is a good example of the best service a single foster mother may be to a child caring agency, and the best service a child caring agency may be to a single foster mother. Here, certainly, we see an exceptional woman whose unmarried state made for, rather than detracted from, her ability to be a foster mother to a particularly difficult group of children. Here we see also a very simple, well integrated, contented woman, whose "secret of success" lies in the fact that she is satisfied with her situation and her state in life. A home of her own, and a family, would have meant perhaps more to her than they would have meant to Miss M. and Miss R., yet, through successful repression, she actually led a completely useful and satisfying life dedicated to the care of the most pathetic group of children, those who even the very good, married foster mothers might refuse to take. W e recognize in Miss D. a woman not frustrated by disappointments, but one who, without hostility, has turned disappointments into positive channels, and who has used the very qualities which might have made for neurotic behavior in others in successful action. CONCLUSION
In studying these three single women, who most certainly were successful foster mothers, we note several rather interesting factors common to each of them. There is, in the first place, a similarity of family background, with all of them having had stable, rather exacting parents, who were, nevertheless, respected and loved. Each was early imbued with a deep sense of family responsibility and conscientious regard for duty. Each was the youngest girl in families where women predominate, and identified with the person in the mother role. They all led unusually sheltered lives, having little opportunity or desire for numerous outside contacts. Their own social interest always had the home as the center of activity, and although not actually "man haters," they were quite fearful of men. None of the women lived alone at the time of application, but they were not
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actually members of complete family structures. None had independent incomes, but the source of their support was through other members of the household. All of these similarities are very interesting and revealing, yet we cannot point to any one of them, or to the entire combination, and say that these are the factors which go into the making of a successful single foster mother. Indeed, some of these components would, in most people, work against the achievement of successful fosterparenthood. Much of the explanation of their success, however, lies in the fact that Miss M., Miss R., and Miss D. were, themselves, simple and well integrated—truly happy people who seemed perfectly satisfied with their situations. They were not married, it is true, yet there was in their lives no damaging frustration nor tension on account of this. In spite of their shy, fearful attitude toward men and toward sex, they have nevertheless had the usual emotional drives, but have been able to find compensation for their desire to be loved through the care of children. In each of these cases, repression seems to have been successful, and none of these single women could be described as "neurotic." T o them life was not looked upon as a continuous struggle to get ahead, but was lived by each according to her own useful capacity. There was, too, a noticeable lack of hostility toward those who had made the ordinarily accepted adjustment to life and marriage. Their sincere simplicity of faith and adherence to religion, accounted for much of their inner peace, and their deep appreciation of spiritual values made competitive striving for materialistic things quite unnecessary. Yet, their religious practice was on a very sane, workable basis, and rather than resulting in narrowing austerity, it made for a richer and more broadening development not only of themselves, but of the children under their care as well. In examining the motivations of these three women, we found their conscious reasons for wanting to board children somewhat dissimilar. Miss M . expressed her motives in terms of love for children and a desire for companionship. Miss R. said she wished to carry on her sister's work with the children already in the home because she feared the damage that transfer to other homes would do to them.
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Miss D. expressed the wish to do some good for children deprived of their own homes, and earn a little money in a pleasant way. As in the case of many married foster mothers, these "reasons" actually disguised the real motivations. In spite of the differently articulated reasons for boarding, their unconscious incentives were as much alike as were their characters and personality structures. Fundamentally warm and responsive, they had the desire to love and to be loved. This would hopefully find compensation through the boarding of children who are in themselves emotionally appealing and who would be so responsive to the care these women were waiting to give to them. An additional motivation for Miss R. and Miss D. was the wish for extension of an old well-rooted habit of caring for the members of the family. These motives, incidentally, are the very ones most often discerned in the married woman who makes application, and who usually becomes a successful foster mother. The only danger in this area, equal with regard to the married woman and the single woman, is the exaggeration of these needs which often inhibit the foster mother in contributing to the child's normal development. That there is no trace of this in the three women considered in this study, is easily seen. This was especially evidenced by their ability to give the children warm affection, security and care, at the same time maintaining a certain detachment which plays so great a part in being able to let the children go. One tends to identify in the single woman who cares for children a certain sentimental "sobby" attitude. Actually, however, with as well-integrated individuals as the ladies in our study, there is no more reason for this reaction in the single woman than there is in the married woman. According to our findings, moreover, there is less reason for this type of behavior. This conclusion springs from the fact that Miss M . and Miss R. and Miss D., by virtue of a good acceptance of their single state, were conscious of the temporary, and necessarily artificial nature of their situations, and did not expect more than was actually there. Significant, too, was their adherence to reality in that they were always "Aunt Nan," "Aunt Gertie," and "Aunt Jo," and never "Mama." That these foster mothers got, through the boarding of children,
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what they sought, is indicated by their length of service devoted to this type of work. They received, in general, love, and emotional satisfaction which comes from the care and trust of children. They felt the joy of playing an important part in some child's life, and the stimulation of having someone specifically dependent upon them. They received the approval of their friends and members of the agency for doing a highly commendable work, and an exceptionally good job. They received spiritual satisfaction from the knowledge that they were performing a work which carried out, in a very real sense, the true principle of charity. W h a t did the children receive in return? Most of them got, with the exception of the father influence, most of what they would have had in the home of a married foster mother. Certainly, Miss D.'s babies and physically handicapped children received much more. Our single foster mothers' children received affection, acceptance, understanding, excellent physical care—in short, the essentials of the development of any pre-school child. They received also the reinforcement of loyalty to their own parents which many married foster mothers find most difficult to give. T h e father person is much less important than the mother to the child under one year of age, and still has very little significance to children between one and two. In view of this fact the toddlers lost very little through the lack of a father in the home. Miss M., Miss R., and Miss D . realized very clearly the importance of the father and the necessity of his influence in the lives of the older children, however, and were accepting of the children's wishes in this regard. Yet, in the reactions of the children who had left these foster homes and had gone into whole families there was no evidence that the former lack had been too detrimental. That they were able to relate so well to the new foster father, most probably was due to the foster mothers' ability to handle this situation, in spite of their own personal attitudes toward men. T h e whole question of the ability of these women to handle the parent situation is an interesting one, and one upon which I wish it were possible to generalize. This capability is so obivous and so positive, that one immediately wonders if this is, perhaps, a very definite
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skill which would be common to single foster mothers as a whole. Here again lack of hostility accounted to a great extent for their ability to meet, with ease, the parent situation. Married foster mothers often have a need to compare the children's own parents with themselves, and to observe, with no little satisfaction, the difference between "good" parents and inadequate parents. There seemed, however, to be no need for the three women of this study to make this comparison for, after all, they were not parents. It is possible, too, that the single woman was not quite so threatening to the child's own mother because she had not achieved the married state. Although not necessarily applicable to single foster mothers only, we found in this study, that because of their own backgrounds, these three women had a basic respect for "family as such" and deep convictions about the rights of parents. T o Miss M., Miss R., and Miss D., they were not just people, but primarily parents, who are "fundamentally good," and to be respected. In this attitude, which is unconsciously transferred to the visiting parent, lies part of their success in maintaining an easy and satisfactory relationship with them. W i t h all these positive factors mounting on the side of the single foster mother, I have not forgotten that, like any married foster mother, they too have liabilities which, however, have quite different trends. As I pointed out before, the absence of a father person in the home is a very obvious lack, and one which, to most children, is irreparable. These three women's own conflicts about sex, too, very definitely limited the service they could give to children, and although they were perhaps not conscious of the reasons, they well realized their own drawbacks. It is obvious that they did not work well with boys or with adolescent girls. T h e care of boys, however, they steered away from, and the adolescent girl they approached with definite caution, if at all. Miss D. could work well with preschool boys, but only if they were handicapped and needed special attention. It was from the girl between three and seven, however, that Miss M . and Miss R. received most satisfaction, and from the infant girl and the handicapped pre-school child that Miss D. got the most joy. It was quite obvious, too, that they all worked best
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with the "good" conforming child, who was closely identified with the behavior patterns of their own childhood. I do not think it is possible to generalize on the types of children single foster mothers are able to care for, from the facts of this study alone, for like any foster mother, so much depends upon their own backgrounds and personalities. I think it is safe, however, to say that the ordinary single foster mother, by virtue of her own psychological make-up, does not work well with older boys or adolescent girls. In addition to this factor, the presence of an active father is most important to this group. T h e success of Miss M., and Miss R., and Miss D. in the area of foster parenthood was largely tied up with the types and ages, and length of time the children stayed in the home. They were best equipped to help children who needed, and could be responsive to love, understanding, and good physical care. They were of best service to children needing only short-time placement, with emphasis on care during a transitional period. That these three women were, in spite of their unmarried state, good foster mothers, there is no doubt. There can be others just as successful in almost any foster home agency which will consider the applications of single women. They should be selected with their assets and liabilities well considered, and with the same general philosophy which we use in choosing any foster parent. I feel that with this in mind they open to us a new field for the placement of children with certain needs, if used with discrimination.
Telling Adopted Children Ethel D. Eppich & Alma C. Jenkins
A
DOPTIVE PARENTS WANT AND NEED
children who will fit most closely and naturally into their own lives. T h e modern placement agency puts great weight on the understanding and warmth that adoptive parents have for the child, since adopted children face not only the normal growing-up problems that all children do but in addition have to assimilate and to accept the fact of their being adopted. Therefore the social agency tries to provide them with adoptive parents who can be completely comfortable in adopting and who can discuss adoption with the children in an easy uncomplicated way. Methods in the placement of children have changed and evolved with the growth of social casework. Despite various changes in procedure, and even in the evaluation of adoptive families, there has been among reputable social agencies one requirement made of all prospective parents, namely, that the child be told of his adoption. T h e importance of this was recognized from the beginning of the agency in which this study was made. Although the old records do not dwell at length on this subject there is invariably a comment by the worker as to adoptive parents' thinking about this question. Similarly, in this agency, the background of the adopted child has always been discussed with the adoptive parents. Years ago it was the practice to have the parents read and acquaint themselves with a digest of the information. Now it is given verbally by the worker, who shares with the adoptive parents that history of the child which seems pertinent, as well as the results of the physical examination and the developmental test. This practice has been one way of letting
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the parents know the child selected for them and why he, and not some other child, may best fit into their family. The agency has also believed that this background material should eventually be shared by the adoptive parents with the child in order to give him a picture of his own heritage. T h e purpose of this project is to discover how a group of adoptive parents has handled this information with the child. Do adoptive parents give an explanation of adoption that is satisfying to the child? Do they share with him the material given to them by the agency? W h e n do they do this? How in general do they give this information? Does the adopted child ask questions about his natural parents? Does he have any emotional tie with the parents who have rejected him? Is it necessary to his security and adjustment to have information about the fact that he is adopted? Increasing numbers of adoptive parents are now asking the workers for help in handling with their children this subject of adoption. They grope for ways to explain it and to many parents it is a threatening and mysterious task. Few have worked out a clear-cut approach to the situation. Many feel that the adopted children should believe that their natural parents are dead, and others have hazy ideas on being frank and truthful. A few insist that children should be told nothing. A common response of applicants is, "Children should know they are adopted when they are old enough to understand." W h i l e asking for an amended birth certificate one adoptive father mentioned that both he and his wife lived in terror for fear that their nineteen year old son would discover his adoption. An adoptive mother asked for help from the agency in handling the pressure from her adolescent daughter for more detailed information. W e therefore became interested in studying—through interviews —how a certain number of parents explained to their adopted children the facts and circumstances of their adoptions. Families in which legal adoptions had been completed several years ago were selected. Of the number available, only a fraction of the total families could be studied in the time allowed for this project. W e concentrated only on those families living within reasonable traveling
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distance from the agency and on intact family groups. Those who had continued some kind of contact with the agency after the legal adoption was completed were particularly considered, since we wanted to interview those who, we felt, would be most willing to talk with us. A total of approximately seven hundred records were checked and from the material in the files thirty-eight families were selected as good possibilities. Letters were sent explaining the purpose of this study, indicating that it would be of value to the agency in helping new adoptive parents if they could share their experiences with us. Five letters were returned, "Address Unknown." Eight families did not respond and we assumed that this indicated an unwillingness to discuss their experience with us. Twenty-five were interviewed from the original group and three families gave us information in the course of ordinary agency contact. An interview with one adopted child was included because it dealt with the same material although the focus was somewhat different. 1 W e were dependent upon the family's willingness to talk with us. Because of limited time, one interview with each family had to be sufficient. In all but three cases total evaluation is given on the basis of talking with one member of the family, usually the adoptive mother. It was clear to us in each interview that both father and mother had discussed this material prior to the visit. ILLUSTRATIVE
CASES
GREGORY
Mr. Gregory saw me in his office. I was unable to see his wife, since she was doing emergency work in a hospital. He is a businessman and has a large income. The Gregorys live on a large estate, also own a home in Bermuda, are social people, and have a wealthy and wellknown set of friends. Sue was taken from the agency to replace an own child who died at birth. She was taken home at the same time Mrs. Gregory returned from the hospital. She is now fifteen and Paul, who was adopted a year later, is fourteen. ι. Only six interviews are included in this publication.
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Mr. Gregory answered my letter by saying that they had taken adoption very lightly and had handled it "all in the day's work." During the interview he mentioned that he was talking more seriously with me about adoption than he had ever talked with his wife and children. T h e children are now beginning private school and are in the eighth and ninth grades. Sue is very outspoken and impulsive. She has a great many friends, although her father feels that perhaps she does not devote enough time to any one friend and consequently loses a few. Paul is more intelligent, although he is usually at the bottom of his class. He is a very easy-going boy who seems to live from one day to the next. He makes friends easily. From the results of a psychological test, Mr. Gregory is sure that Paul has high abilities, although he could not remember exactly what the results were. T h e boy is extremely lazy in school, but the teachers always alibi for him. Up until a year ago he was a roly-poly boy, but has suddenly shot up in height. He is very interested in art, and some fairly wellknown people have commented favorably on his work. Paul is friendly with a boy next door who has a severe eye difficulty. A teacher remarked that Paul might consider his adoption to be a handicap and therefore has drawn closer to this other boy. Mr. Gregory thinks this has no bearing, since the boys have many common interests. He thinks the attachment is only a phase of growing up. Mr. Gregory feels that these children are better than any he could have produced himself. He is proud of their backgrounds and thinks that it is extremely important to match backgrounds with those of adoptive parents. If a child's background is inferior the parents are likely to use this as a convenient peg on which to hang any kind of resentment or blame because of difficulties that may occur. He thinks that there are good people who come from the slums and bad people who come from the higher classes. He came from a poor family, had to go out and work before he finished high school, and has made his way by himself. He has shown a lot of ambition and drive and is quite proud of the fact that he has gone as far as he has. Mr. Gregory thinks that after a child is placed, it is completely
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up to the family. Mistakes can be made with natural children as well as adopted children. Adoption is no threat to this family. Mr. Gregory is convinced that the best way to handle it is to treat the children as though they were own children. He feels that they are own children and rarely thinks about the natural parents. He wants to be friends with his children as well as acting in a parental role. He tries to impress upon them the fact that they must come half-way in this relationship. He gives them liberal allowances but they suffer severe penalties. For example: if they misbehave, they must pay $.50; or if their rooms are not tidy when they leave in the morning, they pay a fine. Sometimes the children owe him as much as two weeks' allowance. Mr. Gregory thinks that the children are really closer to his wife than to him. The family gave over to nurses the care of the children during the infancy period and in spite of criticism they feel that it has worked out well. The whole family has a great many interests and hobbies and they are often not together. Mr. Gregory thinks that even children should have their own interests. Whenever they are all together they have a wonderful time. Mr. Gregory takes over the handling of the day-to-day problems and discipline, whereas Mrs. Gregory is only concerned with major problems. There have been no problems except the normal ones anyone would experience with a natural child. They are very modern in their ideas. Paul stole some minor article from a store not so long ago and lied to his father and to the police. Mr. Gregory was quite embarrassed over this incident at the time, since he had upheld his son, believing that he was telling the truth. Not too long ago Paul and a friend stole a pigeon but Paul told his father before anyone else had the opportunity. Paul was very much surprised when his father said, " I should think you'd be more careful. I was never caught when I was young." Mr. Gregory does not want his children to get the idea that everything should be handed to them on a silver platter. He does not drive them to school, and becomes quite annoyed when Sue insists on having the chauffeur call for her at her friend's home. He believes that this is some desire of Sue's to impress her friends. The school had been putting on a War Bond drive and asked the children to
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get contributions from parents. Mr. Gregory feels that the children should save their own money and buy bonds, even though they would be able to buy fewer, because they get no sense of achievement from buying them with their parents' money. T h e children have known since they were very young that they were adopted. They have never asked questions about their adoption or about their own parents and it has been the Gregorys who have initiated any discussion which has come up. They have to remind the children that they are adopted. T h e children often refer at one moment to their adoption and the next to their resemblance to one parent or the other. It was explained to them at the beginning that they were taken from the agency and chosen from many other babies because the Gregorys could not have their own children. This seemed to satisfy them. Sue asked, when she was nine, which mother was better looking, the mother she came from or her mother now. Mrs. Gregory told her that she had never seen her own mother but probably her own mother was better looking. Sue understands that the Gregorys had a daughter shortly before she came to them and has even seen the grave of this child. Mr. Gregory does not believe in giving the children the complete details about themselves even though their histories are good. They have handled the situation by bringing up adoption along with everyday events. T h e children know where they were born and Mr. Gregory refers sometimes to the fact that Sue is Southern. He is very pleased with this because he was born in the South himself. At one time Sue came home from school, said she was unable to do mathematics, and added that something must be wrong with her. Mr. Gregory said, " I don't see any reason why mathematics should be so hard, your own grandfather was a doctor and he must have known something about mathematics." Paul knows there is artistic talent in his background. About six months ago Sue was quite seriously ill and became delirious. In her delirium she spoke of discussing adoption with Paul and also of her gratitude toward the Gregorys. That the children have been able to talk about it together, has deep meaning to Mr. Gregory. T h e children have not asked about their own parents or why they
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were given up for adoption. Mr. Gregory thinks that children should get such information as they need; perhaps they may not need all the details. If the home is happy they will not want their own natural parents. He doesn't think that parents can bring up own children and adopted children in the same family and have it be a happy experience. He thinks that an own child would feel superior to the adopted child. W h e n people say what a grand thing the family is doing for the children he gets very annoyed and answers, " W h a t a grand thing the children are doing for us." Mr. Gregory is somewhat disturbed about the possibility of the children's ever bringing up illegitimacy. He thinks adolescence is no time to tell a child about this or to give the entire history. If they ask, he may tell them that their own parents were killed. He is not sure. Becoming somewhat philosophical he said that he is now a mature person and can see where even he could have been an illegitimate child or be the father of one. Children are inclined to think very differently.from adults and should not be told about illegitimacy for that reason. He has told them that at twenty-one they can be free to look at the records of their backgrounds if they like. H e thinks that he would be somewhat curious to know about his own parents if he were an adopted child but thinks his wife would never want to know because she is so completely sure of everything she has. She thinks it is unnecessary for other families to be upset over working out adoption with children since she is so accepting of it. His wife thinks of the children as being their own children—and so does he; there have been no difficulties resulting from the replacement of their own child. They care equally for both children and do not hold up impossibly high goals for them. Mr. Gregory is very pleased with the way the placement was handled and has a nice feeling toward the agency. Mr. Gregory believes in freedom of sex discussion and the children have asked all kinds of questions about sex. At ten Paul was given a full explanation after he asked his father a question. Paul
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was uninterested then in anything relating to human beings but was extremely curious about all kinds of animals. Mr. Gregory would never want to take a foundling. He thinks that a family should have history, though only enough to understand the kind of background and abilities that a child may have. He is not at all interested in coming back to the agency to review history, although some of it is vague in his mind. He knows enough to be able to tell the children something about themselves. If he knew more, he might not feel too comfortable in giving it. Mr. Gregory describes the family as a rather undemonstrative one. In the morning he kisses the children goodbye and also on his return. None of them outwardly displays any deep affection. He is sure that they are all fond of each other and like each other as people. I was impressed with his thoughtfulness throughout the interview and also with the way he has handled the adoption with the children. He is a very kindly person who is not likely to do something without thinking carefully about it. W a r m t h and understanding were apparent as he talked about the rest of the family, as was a genuine acceptance of adoption. H e feels that it has been probably somewhat easier with his children because of several other adopted children in the neighborhood. He does not believe, however, that they talk about it among themselves.
NORRIS
Mr. and Mrs. Norris live in a suburban community. Mrs. Norris is thirty-nine, has a high school education, and was employed for many years before she was married. Mr. Norris is forty-two, a high school graduate and earns a good income from his managerial position. Mrs. Norris was somewhat tense as we began the interview and it took a little time for us to get into the general part of the information that I had requested. W a y n e was placed with this family ten years ago when he was four months of age. Although there is not much material on his history he seems to have a very stable background and his own par-
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ents were high school graduates. There is musical talent in his natural family. He has evidently been a source of great pride to this family. He has not shown problems except for normal growing-up difficulties. She described him as being a sweet youngster and as always having been quite a conforming child. He is affectionate and makes many bids for love, even now often wanting to sit on his mother's lap. He is an average student in school and is in the fifth grade. He does not get exceptionally high marks but this does not seem to concern the family. He is now in the "gang" stage and plays with the rest of his friends near the golf course back of their home. He often takes cookies or other food out to the boys. W h e n he first began to play with them he wanted so much to be included that he took little offerings to them each time he played. Mrs. Norris feels that he is now very much a part of the gang although he is not a leader. He dislikes being alone and always wants to be doing something. She feels he is a well adjusted youngster. Mrs. Norris does not think that adoption is a problem. She and her husband feel very lucky to have such a nice boy. W h e n I said that this usually occurred when parents and children fitted well together she said that she would like to think that they had done a good job with him. Wayne has always wanted to have a brother. He has not been interested in girls, especially now. He is fond of babies—if they are boy babies. Mrs. Norris wanted a second child after Wayne's adoption went through but Mr. Norris has always been against this. He feels that he could not love another child as he does Wayne. This has been a question that has come up constantly and I think Mrs. Norris is somewhat resentful toward her husband for not consenting to another child. They discussed this as late as last year, when Mr. Norris finally agreed to it. Nothing was done about it then, however, and when Mrs. Norris brought it up again he had changed his mind. This time he had the additional reason that they were too old to take a second child. She knows now that the question is definitely settled and although she feels disappointed she is relieved that they have finally decided one way or the other.
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The first mention of adoption in this home came up when Wayne was a young boy and he asked a simple sex question. She told him that he had come from another mother, that they took him from the agency because they could not have children of their own. They did not use the word adoption and it was not mentioned by them until several years later when Wayne brought it up himself and said that he was adopted. Mrs. Norris feels that he understood the meaning of their original explanation in terms of his being an adopted child. At this first explanation Wayne said, "Then my mother is up in heaven?" Mrs. Norris answered, "Yes," although she has wondered several times since why she did. It seemed to be the first answer that came to her mind. She feels that this satisfied Wayne's curiosity. There have never been many questions about adoption until quite recently. Wayne asked what his first name had been before he was adopted. Mrs. Norris told him that it was Harold. Wayne said, "Oh, I don't like that name, I like Wayne much better." He has never asked any questions about his natural father and Mrs. Norris feels that this is very strange. Unless he asks questions, Mrs. Norris does not want to speak about the adoption. She feels that he will ask anything that he is curious about and she believes in answering his questions very frankly. He has always been free in asking her questions about sex and she thinks that it only intensifies adoption more in his mind if she initiates the discussion. He has not asked what his own mother looked like, but mentioned her at one time and Mrs. Norris told him that she never saw her. It is interesting that Mrs. Norris was unable to recall to me any description of either of his parents or his mother's first name. She said, "It is so long since I have seen the papers that I don't remember." She does not remember getting a physical description of his parents from the papers when they took the boy. In spite of this I feel that Mrs. Norris shows an unusually understanding attitude toward Wayne's own parents. She realizes how difficult it is for mothers to give up their children and wonders if his own mother thinks of him now. She wishes that his mother could know what a fine boy he is. She asked if the natural mothers ever get in touch with us. She said
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she is a very practical person and realizes that Wayne once belonged to another mother. She does not think about these parents often and the idea does not threaten her. She does not seem to have to push away the natural parents completely. There have been times when Wayne has been quite angry over some little incident and has said, "I don't have to do this, you aren't my real mother." At first Mrs. Norris was extremely hurt, but after she realized that he was only striking back at her and trying to hurt her a little because something hurt him, it didn't bother her as it did the first time. She told him that they were really his parents even though he had another mother, because they took him when he was a small baby and always loved and cared for him. Mrs. Norris wonders if Wayne would ever want to trace his own mother. In talking about this it was as much Mrs. Norris' interpretation as mine that if a child has the security he needs in the adoptive home he will not be likely to want to find his own parents. She realizes that he may be curious to know about them. She feels that Wayne is a great credit to them and she is not asking any gratitude from him because they adopted him. She did need some reassurance but I think what I gave her was enough. Mrs. Norris thinks that adolescence is a poor period in which to answer questions, but will if Wayne asks them. She was emphatic in saying that she wants to be truthful with him in any curiosity that he has. She feels that this is the most important part of working with adopted children. She has a healthy attitude toward illegitimacy but hopes that he will not ask about it until he is older. She is not sure what she will tell him if he asks now, but she expects that he will know all about himself when he is older. She has been somewhat concerned over how to give an explanation to him and, until talking with me, felt that children ask those questions to which they want answers. She now wonders if it might not be better to introduce some things to him. She does not approve of the idea of sitting down and having a serious "pow-wow" with him. She thinks that children withdraw from such an approach. I told her some of the ways in which other parents have handled the situation and she was extremely interested in the method of introducing parts of history
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around everyday occurrences. She now wonders if W a y n e would like to know more about himself. She does not know why she never thought of handling it in this way. W a y n e is musical and she thinks it might be interesting for him to know that there is musical talent in his background. She feels that now because of her first explanation about his mother being in "heaven," W a y n e possibly thinks that she does not know much about his parents. She feels that she may want to clear this up, when the opportunity comes, by telling him a little about what they looked like. She was interested in coming to the office to review his history so that it can help her in talking with him. Mrs. Norris would never want to take a foundling. If she adopted another child she would like to have a full and complete history. She would never want to have an own child and an adopted child. She thinks it is unfair to children to place them in such a situation, and very difficult to handle. I had a chance to meet W a y n e before I left. H e is an average size, active youngster, who was a little shy in meeting me. It is difficult for him to talk readily when he first meets strangers. I saw him briefly when he was ready to go out and play with the other youngsters. Mrs. Norris introduced me by name and W a y n e did not know that I was from the agency. I did not have the chance to discover why she did this. I feel that this adoption is a very successful one. W a y n e is looked upon as their own son although they have not really forgotten that he had other parents. Mrs. Norris seems to have understanding of this child. She is a flexible person and although she has not given the boy a full explanation, she is interested in various approaches for doing it. She now feels that she will tell him more about himself, and I think she will do this successfully.
ALLEN
M r . and Mrs. Allen took Michael, a foundling, when he was eighteen months old. Mrs. Allen is an abrupt, outspoken woman with a brusque exterior. I found, however, that she is extremely
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proud of Michael and after getting through this exterior she appeared to be a warm, motherly person. T h e family is in modest circumstances. She began by telling me that it is entirely "up to the parents" how children turn out. She is the kind of person who goes by the old saying, "Spare the rod and spoil the child." She believes in punishment and Michael gets whippings when he is bad and gets deprived of his favorite things when he deserves a lesser punishment. She is sure that if children are disciplined adequately they will grow up to be the kind of people of whom parents are proud. Mr. Allen agrees with this since he was brought up in a similar fashion. Michael goes to bed at night promptly at eight o'clock. She compared him with an infant upstairs who is up all hours of the night. Even Michael told her one evening that he didn't see why the people upstairs didn't put the baby to bed on time. W h e n Michael is deprived of something as a punishment he usually says, "Oh I didn't want it anyway." Mrs. Allen finds this irritating but realizes that it is a defense and thinks that the punishment is effective. The Aliens are very proud that Michael has turned out to be so good-looking and promising. Mrs. Allen thinks that he was not properly taken care of before he came into their home. They had to go through a great deal to build him up physically. He is now eleven years old and will enter junior high school next year. He is an average youngster and Mrs. Allen prefers that kind of boy. If children are too intelligent she feels that it is harder for them to get along with other children and that they may have more problems. Michael seems to be specially gifted with things mechanical and is always fixing something. He builds model airplanes with a great deal of patience, belongs to the " Y , " to the Mission, and is intending to join the church next Sunday. T h e Aliens are religious people and it means a great deal to Michael to join the church. W h e n he was told that he could, he said, "That takes a big load off my chest." Mrs. Allen is anxious to have him belong to all these clubs and to go to camp in summer. Because of the neighborhood in which they live she feels that if children play on the streets instead of belonging to some organized activity they do sometimes get into trouble. He has
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regular times to go to the " Y , " and also can go at any time when he is not in school. He is fond of swimming and interested in athletics in general. He makes friends easily and right now is very interested in a little girl at school. Mrs. Allen does not discourage this nor tease him about it because she feels that it is entirely normal. W h i l e Mrs. Allen has always thought of Michael as her own son, Michael knew that he was adopted even before he could actually understand it. He knows that the Aliens took him from the agency, that they were lonesome without children, and wanted him. W h e n he was a little older he was told that the adoption was "their secret" and it was better if he did not tell his friends or the neighbors. There are very few people in the neighborhood who know about it and none of the children do. Mrs. Allen thinks people can be tactless and make things hard for the youngster. In the rooms upstairs she has tenants who do not know that Michael is adopted. Michael visited the agency when he was very young and the last visit was when he was six years old. T h e family lost interest in coming back after their worker left the agency; but a short time ago Mrs. Allen asked him if he would like to go back. He did not want to, at that time. He has never asked anything about his own parents and Mrs. Allen feels that he is not curious about them. Because there is no information about his parents she feels comfortable but she could not tell him even if she had the material. She feels closer to him because she does not have to think of what his own parents were like. She never thinks about his having other parents unless she is talking with someone from the agency. She believes that Michael is so happy with them that he does not want to know anything else. In the home they mention adoption frequently but never outside. She feels that when a child lives with a family from the first months of his life the adoptive family becomes his, and other parents do not exist. Michael seems to have an equally good relationship with both father and mother. He is quite open and frank in discussing the everyday things that bother him. He is not a child who brings up questions around sex or adoption. He likes to go to the movies with both of his parents and feels unhappy if one of them is left at home.
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He enjoys doing things with his father in the summer time, and obviously is close to his mother. Michael was playing marbles in the street with some other boys while Mrs. Allen and I talked. She wanted me to meet him, called him in, and introduced me as from the agency. He seemed interested and certainly was not embarrassed by my presence. W e talked a little about school and about his activities and it wasn't long before he was shooting marbles on the living room floor. Mrs. Allen told me earlier in the interview that Michael has always had a pet. She thinks pets are good for any children but especially for an adopted child. Michael was playing with his cat and suddenly said to me, "This is my adopted cat." I asked him how he had adopted it. He found the cat in the street, she had no home, and he brought her home with him. Mrs. Allen said, "the cat loves him." Michael looked up and said quite naturally, "And I love the cat, too." He told me of several cats he has had and when they are nicely house-trained someone usually takes them away. He mentioned the adoption of the cat very comfortably and naturally. I felt that it showed an acceptance of adoption and some understanding of the meaning of it. He also has a dog but the cat is his favorite pet. He has named her "Bambi" from the movie. Michael is an attractive boy and is extremely outgoing. He meets all strangers easily and usually has something to say to them. Despite Mrs. Allen's telling me of their being strict disciplinarians, I feel that his punishments are just and there is more leniency than she indicates. He gives every evidence of being a happy, secure, and well adjusted boy. Even though the family has not discussed adoption more fully with Michael, I can see warmth and security in this home. WHITNEY
Mr. and Mrs. Whitney took Shirley into their home when she was seven months of age. TTiey are an attractive and cultured couple who were in their early thirties when they adopted Shirley. Mrs. Whitney taught in a private school for about ten years prior to this.
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Mr. Whitney is a business executive. This family has quite a high income and lives in a good suburban community. Mrs. Whitney is again working as a teacher; she loves this work and feels that in these days when it is so difficult to get teachers it is her duty. She has been fortunate in getting a competent housekeeper whom Shirley adores and since the child is at school the greater part of the day, Mrs. Whitney does not feel she is deprived of anything by her mother's working. Mrs. Whitney talked to me readily. T h e fact that we had previously met at an affair sponsored by the agency seemed to create a bond as she looked upon me as the only person now at the agency whom she knew. It was obvious that prior to this interview she had put a great deal of thought into the things she was going to talk about and had discussed them thoroughly with her husband. She began by talking a bit about Shirley so that I would understand the sort of a child she is before we got into discussing how she had handled the question of telling the child that she was adopted. Although Mrs. Whitney mentioned some negative factors, I felt that she did this to try to be objective about the whole thing and not because she or Mr. Whitney rejected the child in any way. She described Shirley as a pleasant youngster of six who is tall for her age and quite mature. At the time she was placed with them her developmental rating showed her to be a child with high average expectation. Before the legal adoption went through a year later she was retested, both at the suggestion of the agency and because Mr. and Mrs. Whitney thought it would be interesting to know how she had developed. At that time she received a rating of superior and Mrs. Whitney feels that she has developed along the lines of a superior child. She has musical talent and for some time has been picking out tunes on the piano. Recently she has started taking lessons. It is sometimes hard for Mrs. Whitney to understand Shirley since she is quite different in temperament from both Mr. and Mrs. Whitney. She is a quick child, often impatient and somewhat tense and high strung. Mrs. Whitney herself is a calm, unruffled person with a somewhat placid temperament; and Mr. Whitney is quite similar.
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Shirley's interests change quickly and Mrs. Whitney feels that she does not have much "stick-to-it-iveness." I think she finds this a little disconcerting. However, in all other respects she has found Shirley to be a most agreeable child and thoroughly accepts her and the idea of adoption. This was demonstrated in one way by the statement Mrs. Whitney made about a second child. Both she and Mr. Whitney are so happy with Shirley, and feel that she is such a desirable and superior youngster, that they have put off making an application for a second child. They feel that the experience could not be as positive as their first experience. In short, Shirley has been completely accepted. When Shirley was three years old Mrs. Whitney thought it was time for them to give the first simple explanation of her adoption. Up to that time Shirley had not asked anything at all about sex or where babies come from and Mrs. Whitney therefore did not tie the story up with any explanation of sex. Instead she and her husband told Shirley that they had had no little girl and so they had come to the agency to find one. They picked her out and took her to their home to live with them for always. It immediately became the favorite story and was told frequently upon request. Mrs. Whitney has kept a complete baby book and noted in it just what Shirley was like when she came to them. They took pictures of her within a few days after she came to their home and also had pictures both of the nurse at the agency and the nurse who came home with them. All her phases of development and growth were noted and this became her favorite book. Since that time one of Shirley's main interests has been repeating the original story. At this particular point Mrs. Whitney thinks that Shirley is about to go further. Mrs. Whitney feels that she made a mistake in not tying up the explanation of sex with the adoption discussion. She thinks this because Shirley thought then, and continues to think, that all babies come from agencies. She does not realize yet that some babies are born to families and that other children are adopted. Mrs. Whitney feels that they have given her every opportunity to ask. They have created situations whereby she might ask; but she has not done so. They feel that they will be telling her very soon
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anyway even if she does not ask. T h e occasion that they have used in an effort to draw forth questions has been to have her see new babies that have been born in the neighborhood and in talking very freely about babies coming. Mrs. Whitney feels sure that Shirley still thinks all babies come from the agency. She has wanted a baby brother or sister for a long time and has repeatedly requested her parents to get one for her. Mrs. Whitney explained there were not many babies at the agency and so many people wanted them that it was hard to get one. When babies were born to relatives Shirley said to her mother that other people were getting babies and she just did not think that her mother was paying much attention to her request. Mrs. Whitney laughed and said that Shirley just thought they weren't "on their toes" and other people were snatching up all the available babies at the agency while they sat back. A few days ago she thought Shirley was really going to start the discussion when she asked what people were made of. Just as Mrs. Whitney was to start the explanation, she added, "Now for example, mother, what's under your skin?" After hearing a brief explanation of skin and muscles and bones and seeing a few pictures of anatomy she lost interest and wandered off to play. Mrs. Whitney feels that so far no problem has been created for Shirley because she does not realize that she arrived in their family in a way different from most children. However, even though this is still to come, Mrs. Whitney is not shrinking from telling her the difference and in explaining more to her about it. Mrs. Whitney is sure and confident that she and her husband can explain this simply and easily to Shirley because they can discuss it easily between themselves. Mrs. Whitney said frankly, " I think that anything you can discuss with ease is something which can be told to a child. It is only the things that you yourself hate to face that are hard to tell a child." She thinks that when they are giving Shirley a simple sex explanation she will ask some questions about her own parents and that this will naturally and logically follow when Shirley realizes that she did not just come from an agency but that, behind that, there were parents. T h e Whitneys were given the history quite fully and it is a fairly
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good one. Mrs. Whitney said that she would have no question about giving physical descriptions or occupations or educational achievements to a child even as young as hers. But she does not believe that she will want to discuss the situation which necessitated Shirley's being given up by her natural parents, or the question of illegitimacy, until she is a great deal older. I asked what she meant by this and how old she thought a child should be. She did not think that one could set down an arbitrary age but thinks it would depend on the individual child, her development, growth, and maturity. She feels that this is certainly not something one should confront a child with who would have no understanding, and Mrs. Whitney can see that it could be damaging. She thinks that when her daughter is older and has enough understanding and tolerance she will tell her, if asked, she was illegitimate. However, the mother is not at all sure that she will do this; she could conceal it, and still feel very comfortable, if she thought it were best for the child not to know. Mrs. Whitney does not feel that Shirley's being adopted has created any problem or situation in her school. She does not really know if she has told anyone she is adopted and if she has, it has not come back to Mrs. Whitney. Some people in their community do not know about it. Mrs. Whitney has many friends who do know and they have not tried to keep it a secret. In discussing history with a child Mrs. Whitney feels that the things that would be most important and of the greatest value are the details about physical appearance, personality and characteristics, talents, occupation and educational achievements. She can see where, if there were not a favorable history, it might be better not to discuss it too thoroughly. Both Mr. and Mrs. Whitney are delighted with Shirley and completely accept both her and the adoption. Mrs. Whitney was glad to talk with someone from the agency and to share her experiences. She suggested that we might have another appointment and was most eager to have me visit them in their home and see Shirley.
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GRAY
T h e Grays are in their middle forties and Jim, their adopted son, is now eight and a half years old. Mr. Gray is a college graduate with additional training in business administration and is earning a considerable income. His wife is a college graduate. Mrs. Gray was ill and Mr. Gray saw me in his office. H e spent a great deal of time with me but it was difficult for him clearly to put in words his feelings about Jim's natural parents, although he was well able to express the way they have given the initial explanation of adoption to Jim. Mr. Gray repeatedly referred to Jim's high intelligence. H e described him as a blond boy who is extremely extroverted. Mr. Gray considers himself to be the dominant one in the family. H e is trying very hard to maintain this position and Jim seems to be somewhat of a threat to him. H e is proud of the fact that he can be more objective than his wife, whom he described as an emotional person. H e thinks that Mrs. Gray has difficulty in understanding her son since she is so introverted and Jim is not. H e feels that since he has taken over both the handling of the boy and the major explanation of his questions, Jim is closer to him than to Mrs. Gray. Jim's main interest is in intellectual pursuits and he is now in a private school under a rather rigid system. H e objects strenuously to authority and acts out his resentment. H e tantalizes his teachers and has therefore created some problems for himself. He gets along quite nicely with the other children even though he is not much of a leader. Mr. Gray said that Jim definitely has a "chip on his shoulder." H e is a child who pursues things, is never satisfied until he knows the full explanation. This has been true even in his questions about adoption. M r . Gray feels that it is important to tell children early that they are adopted. A child should know before he understands the meaning. In this way it can never come as a shock. Jim was told that the Grays were not able to have children and therefore adopted him. T h e y have given him the feeling that he was chosen. Even at an early age he was interested in knowing exactly where he was born and was
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told it was in New York City. He asked the name of the hospital. They told him that they were not sure about this but knew that it was in the city. W h e n he was a little older (about five) he asked his mother what his own parents looked like. Mrs. Gray, according to her husband, is less able than he to handle anything in relation to the natural parents. She said that she did not remember what they were like or who they were. Jim was amazed at this reaction and said, "That is funny, your memory is always very good with everything else, why can't you remember that?" T h e subject was dropped. Mr. Gray was a little disturbed by this since he realized that Jim was not satisfied. T h e family has never answered his question and Jim has not repeated it. W h e n Jim's problems in school developed, Mr. Gray consulted a psychiatrist. T h e doctor felt that Jim was in general quite stable, emotionally, but was having a few conflicts about growing up, one of which was wondering about his adoption. After he asked Jim if there was anything about his adoption that he wondered about, Mr. Gray decided to tell him just how an adoption service operated. Jim asked where he had come from and wanted an explanation of how the agency worked. Mr. Gray explained that the agency was a means of bringing childless parents together with children who for one reason or another had no parents who could bring them up. He told Jim that his parents were dead. He was an orphan. Mr. Gray thinks that Jim recognizes readily that the parents with whom he has lived from six months on are more important than the natural parents. Mr. Gray is able to give an adequate picture of the part the agency plays but still leaves unanswered Jim's specific questions as to his parentage. W h e n he was asked if he would like to come down to see the agency Jim replied, "No, that is unnecessary, I just wanted to know how I came to you." Mr. Gray quoted the answers Jim gave and with each he said that it showed intellectual ability. Although there has been, in Mr. Gray's mind, a full and adequate discussion of sex in this home, Mr. Gray is quite concerned just now because Jim is very interested in physiology. He wants to know the complete make-up of human beings and just how they function. Mr. Gray has been thinking about getting a book for him but won-
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ders if it may not give him the wrong ideas and distort sex in his mind. W e talked about the possibility of Jim's asking other children and having the answers given to him in the wrong way. Mr. Gray said that he may possibly talk with Jim about this quite soon. He does not believe in discussing background or natural parents with an adopted child. He feels that it only gives him an image to dwell upon and sees it as a threat to the adoptive family. He never thinks about the natural parents himself. He realizes that a child may become curious but will not handle it with his son. He thinks Jim is the kind of boy who stops at nothing in pursuing his idea once it is started, and that he may want to trace his own parents. He cannot and will not tell Jim that he is illegitimate. Mr. Gray has never let his wife see the papers on which is written the name of Jim's own parents. He thinks that Mrs. Gray is the type of person who would want just to drive by the mother's home sometime to see what the family is like. He has thought of it himself, but never seriously; but he believes that Jim also would want to. Mr. Gray places a strong emphasis on heredity and for this reason, if he had another child, he would also want to have a full and complete history. He would not want the history to use for the child but only so that he might be able to trace back the behavior of the child. It is evidently giving Mr. Gray a peg on which to hang any problems that occur. He feels that Jim is showing some of his German characteristics, and he is inclined to think of many little things that he traces to the own parents. He believes in trying to divorce emotion from explanations of adoption to the child. He thinks you cannot become emotional and do a good job. I think that Mr. Gray would like Jim to feel grateful to the family for adopting him. He will not introduce even the slightest bit of history to ease any of the inferiority that Jim may be feeling, although the history is good and Jim's parents were college graduates. Mr. Gray is rather an insecure person himself and has a great need to be dominant. Jim seems a threat to him and I think that Mr. Gray feels as long as Jim is insecure about his background he will not be more of a threat. Mrs. Gray seems to assume a lesser position in the family. Mr.
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Gray is fully able to handle the generalities of adoption and clear up the boy's questions in that general area. In that way the natural parents do not become a threat to Mr. Gray as explanation is entirely related to the adoptive parents and the boy. H e is pushing the own parents out of the picture and I think it will be impossible for him to let them enter in any way. H e feels that he has given Jim ample opportunity to ask questions but I can see that many of the boy's questions have remained unanswered.
SANDERS
I talked with Dr. Sanders in his office as he had carefully suggested that he would prefer to see me there. I had no opportunity to meet Mrs. Sanders and I was unable to determine just where Mrs. Sanders does fit into the family relationship, especially with the adopted child. Although I thought that Dr. Sanders was interested in our discussion he was reserved in expressing his opinions to me and I thought he was resisting the interview. W e did not reach a good interview relationship with each other. Norma is sixteen and was adopted when she was a month old. W e have little information on the application interviews with this family but do have a fair amount of history on the child. T h e Sanders have always felt as though they were her own parents. T o them the other parents do not exist. T h e y brought her up as their own child and did not mention to her that she was adopted until she was about five, when she asked the simple sex questions about where babies come from. Dr. Sanders has always talked to her about these sex questions since he feels that he should be the one because of his profession. H e explained at that time how babies are born and told her that they were not able to have their own children and took her from the agency in N e w York. H e mentioned the word adoption to her then and gave her some understanding of how they had come to get her. H e feels that she took this information very easily but she asked no further questions about it at that time. T h e y continued not to talk about adoption; and none of their friends knows about it except a very few who knew in the beginning. These friends never
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mention it and Dr. Sanders feels that the children Norma is in contact with do not know that she is an adopted child. So far as he knows Norma never talks to other children about being adopted and, through shutting out her natural parents, considers that she really is their own child. Dr. Sanders thinks of this as very natural when children have never known any other parents and thinks school situations can be disturbing for adopted children when they are confronted by the cruel things that other children can say. The only other time adoption was mentioned was when Norma was about nine or ten and Dr. Sanders was driving her to school. She then naturally and easily asked him the question, "What was my own mother like?" The only answer Dr. Sanders gave was, "Why Norma, I don't know, you see I never saw your mother." She did not ask any further questions about her mother or any questions about her father although he feels that he left the road open to her if she had wanted to. Dr. Sanders said he doesn't know much about her own parentage but then told me a little of what history he does know; it seems to be quite adequate for answering a child's questions. He was rather defensive, in saying that he prefers to be frank with children when answering any of their questions, but is inclined to think that the things they don't bring out spontaneously are unimportant to them. He said that there have been no problems with regard to this, and thinks that his child has not had any interest at all in her own parents other than asking what her mother looked like. He does not want to have further history because he would like to say truthfully that he knows no more about it. "It bothers adoptive parents to know a great deal of history because then they cannot truthfully say they don't know." When I asked about the question of illegitimacy he said he would never discuss it with a child because it would be unnecessary, and a child would take it seriously and it would be damaging. W e talked about the possibility of a husband's wanting to know about history at the time of marriage. He had not thought of this before but said that he could see why it would be important for the husband to know and thinks that he would have a right to know it.
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H e would not talk to him in front of Norma but would have a private interview with him and discuss only the pertinent factors with which the husband would be concerned. He thought it would be wrong to hold this information back, in case later on there should be difficulties. Dr. Sanders described Norma as a quiet girl who gets her interest from church activities, enjoying more than anything else her work in the church rectory even when none of the other young people are there. She has suffered from attacks of asthma ever since she was a tiny baby and has had to undergo various treatments. She is a serious girl who gets enjoyment out of reading her Bible every night before she goes to bed. She does not have the need for a great many friends and from his description I think she is a reserved girl. H e seems the type of father who likes having a daughter who conforms and stays close to the home circle. I feel that there is a restrained atmosphere in the home, little freedom in a discussion of sex, and little demonstration of affection among members of the family. Dr. Sanders remarked that he has never had problems with Norma but didn't feel that she was the kind of person who had withdrawn into herself. I am sure he considers that he has been closer to his daughter than his wife has, and that, when situations come up, he is the one who handles them. He defended the way he has handled adoption and said he had discussed it adequately with his daughter. He is unable to bring the natural parents into the picture. He impresses me as a conservative, over-protective parent who outwardly tries to give the impression of tolerance when actually he cannot. I saw little evidence of warmth or understanding. Mrs. Sanders seems pushed out of the picture and Dr. Sanders has thrown a cloak of protectiveness around Norma. CONCLUSIONS
After placement in an adoption agency our focus as workers changes from the child as an isolated individual to a recognition that he is now a person within a family group. Whatever explanations of
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adoption are given to him depend not only on the child but also on the kind of adoptive family with whom he is placed. T h e feelings of the adoptive parents are intertwined with those of the child and the ability to face adoption realistically is relative to these blended feelings. T h e moment we speak of adoptive parents sharing history with a child we find a situation charged with emotion. In reality we are then asking adoptive parents to go beyond the point at which they themselves started with the child. W e are asking them to discuss freely a phase in their child's life when they were not his parents. W e are expecting adoptive parents to do something which natural parents are never expected to do: to share their child with other parents. On the basis of this study we realize that we cannot expect adoptive parents to deal with something in which they are not comfortable. W e cannot expect adoptive parents to handle with complete objectivity something in which they are so closely and emotionally involved. All the adoptive parents in the group interviewed, fully recognized the need for telling their children that they were adopted. It also seems probable to us that there are those families who have not told their children of their adoptions. W e assume some of the families who did not answer our letters may have followed this course of action. Thus, in reality our study group is a selected one, with indications that it has done more with handling the explanation of adoption than an over-all sample group. T h e adoptive parents in our study group felt that the child should know of his adoption from them as parents, and none wanted to risk the child's discovery of this through outside sources. T h e initial explanation was given to almost every adopted child during the nursery years. Without exception this consisted of a simple story of the mother and father who had no babies of their own and who picked the child out to come and live with them and be their own child. It was particularly emphasized that he was a chosen child, selected in preference to others because they wanted just him. T h e more thoughtful parents recognized that the story of his being taken by them must precede any real understanding of the
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concept of adoption on the part of the child. Then with the story and the pleasant associations of it in mind the actual fact of adoption can be taken by the child in his stride and it will not be strange or frightening to him. T h e story form of telling the child seems appropriate to his being a child. A more thorough understanding of the process of adoption can only come through a growing explanation of adoption as the child himself grows in his understanding. In general the adopted children reported on in this study did not spontaneously seek out information about their backgrounds or the details of their adoptions. There was not, contrary to expectation, much natural questioning on the part of the child. There was no series of questions which the parent, the worker or anyone could anticipate as the child grew in perception and understanding. There were no set age levels at which the children asked certain questions. Very few of these adopted children asked any questions about their backgrounds. W h e n they asked, these questions were, " W h a t was my mother like?" or " W h y was I given up?" No adoptive parent answered fully or truthfully. T h e most secure adoptive mothers, when asked the first question, were able to use characteristics of the natural mothers to strengthen the security of the child in the adoptive home and respond, "I imagine that she was very much like me." Only two adoptive mothers gave this response. O n e adopted child said, "My own mother must have looked very much like you." Other adoptive mothers said that they really did not know. This was followed in some instances by, "You see, I never knew her," and thus perhaps implied to the child that the adoptive parents not only did not know her but did not know about her. T h e second question, " W h y was I given up?" was invariably answered in terms of the natural parents' being financially unable to provide for the child. This seems to be the reason that adoptive parents can give most easily and most comfortably. There is apparently little recognition by the parents of what this may mean to a child. O n e parent reported that her son's analysis indicated that he worried about the poor mother he had deserted while he himself lived in comfort. On the basis of experience with other families we believe that an adopted child may assume that his natural parents
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are inferior to the adoptive family in economic and social status. Other families generalized and told the children that there were many reasons why natural parents gave up children and in their particular instance they did not know why. To the child vagueness is difficult to bear and lends itself to all kinds of fantasies. No family told the child that he was illegitimate. Almost all parents were fearful that the question might come up during adolescence. A very few parents indicated that they would give a child this information if he asked. These were parents who had an understanding attitude toward illegitimacy and the unmarried mother and were themselves less inhibited sexually. Some parents said they would not discuss it with the child. They advanced the reason that society still attached so much stigma to illegitimacy that it would be damaging for a child to know, particularly during the adolescent years. No child asked questions about his natural father although one boy said to his adoptive father, "My father couldn't have been as nice as you, Dad." W e can see two possible reasons for this. Perhaps adopted children in some way realize that they are illegitimate. It may also be a result of failure of adoptive parents to explain sex fully to the child. With adopted children as well as with natural children it is comparatively simple to explain the mother's role and to say that a baby grows inside his mother. Often parents fail to explain that there cannot be a baby unless the father and mother make him together. The reported general lack of curiosity on the part of most adopted children did not seem unnatural to their parents. They interpreted this as meaning that the child did not think about his natural parents. Very few parents stated that they initiated, or drew out questions from their child in order to give him information about himself. There was no child who had been given the complete, or even nearly complete, information about himself that the adoptive parents had received from the agency. No parents gave physical descriptions of the natural parents. Very few gave occupations, educations or talents in the natural background. Some adoptive parents felt that the child must be curious about himself and his origin but still could not
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give him this information. Others felt that the child had never known any parents but them and that security with them meant that the natural parents must be very unreal, unsubstantial, vague beings seldom thought of. T h e few parents who were able to give bits of information about occupations, educations, talents and nationality backgrounds of the natural parents did this in conjunction with everyday affairs. It will be remembered that when Sue Gregory was disturbed about her inability to do mathematics, her father said, " I don't see any reason why mathematics should be so hard, your own grandfather was a doctor and he must have known something about mathematics." These parents were also able to give more history than most. This method seems to make it most comfortable for all as it eliminates making an occasion of the telling and ties it in with day-to-day living. T h e adoptive parents who were able to give the most history to their children were also the families who discussed sex information with them most fully. This is logical since the explanation of adoption is closely tied up with the explanation of sex. W h a t is more natural than the adopted child who asks, "Where do babies come from?" also to ask, "Where did I come from?" If the adoptive parents cannot face the fact that other parents gave birth to their child they cannot help him with his adoption. Unless these two explanations, sex, and the fact that he was born to other parents, are given closely together, one of the best natural ways of discussing either is gone. Shirley Whitney believes that all babies come from agencies. T h e point of explaining adoption should start with some realization by the child that some children are born into families and others are adopted. It is only with the realization of his difference that a child can begin to understand what adoption means. Animals not only may help parents in giving an explanation of sex but also explain adoption. Michael Allen, who picked out and "adopted" his cat, has a better understanding of what adoption means. A large number of the adopted children seemed unable to let themselves find out about their backgrounds. As stated, they did not ask questions. They did not take advantage of the situations that a
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few adoptive parents created to enable them to ask for information. One boy was told that he could look at the adoption papers but refused to take advantage of the opportunity. Some adoptive parents felt that if the child were happy he would not want or think of the natural parents. Does it follow that the thoroughly accepted adopted child rejects the natural parents and thus frees himself to build closer ties with the adoptive parents? Almost all adoptive parents are threatened by the idea of including the natural parents in their own thoughts and in the child's life. T o them the life of their child actually begins at the time of his placement into their family. Emotionally they have given birth to the child they have wanted and waited for. As time goes by and acceptance of him intensifies, this emotional birth may also seem to them to have become a physical one, to fulfil their inner wishes that he be a product of them. Many parents could not recall the background information, descriptions, or other detail given to them by the agency. They said that they could not remember when the child was not with them, they had almost forgotten that he was adopted, they felt that he had never belonged to anyone else. While this may indicate a positive feeling toward the adopted child and a genuine acceptance of him it may also point to difficulties in discussing adoption with him if the natural parents are completely shut out of their thinking. A great many parents were fearful that a child might some day want to trace his natural parents. This was a common reason for not telling the child about them. Many told the child that his natural parents were dead and we felt that several other adoptive parents implied this to the child. In this way they need not share their child or his thoughts with other parents. One adoptive mother was verbal enough to say in referring to the natural mother that she "had killed her off." There were a few families in the group studied who felt that the primary purpose of adoption (bringing childless parents and parentless children together) would be defeated by bringing in much information or too clear a picture of the natural parents. They saw it as a wedge that could split apart their family unity. These families were so threatened by the thought of handling this material that
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they gave no information at all. Other families seemed to have an ambivalent pattern. They were threatened to some extent but also had varying degrees of acceptance and security enabling them to move ahead and give some detail to the child only to turn back again. There can be an acceptance of adopted children by adoptive parents even though the natural parents are pushed away. It is the most natural thing in the world to repress thoughts of the parents who gave birth to the child whom the adoptive parents so completely accept as their own. Is the receiving of background information also a threat to the child? W e have found no instances of a child's pressing for information although a very few isolated examples of this have come to agency attention in other ways. W h y does he not want to know? There were children in our study who repressed curiosity and seemed to experience conflict and strain as a result of wondering about themselves. W e also saw secure and happy familial relationships and complete acceptance of the child and family by each other. Many parents said that if their children asked questions, they would answer them. This response did not mean the insecurity evident in the poorly adjusted families; it was also present in those families with the optimum of good adjustments. This seems to indicate that if history is to be given to a child the adoptive parents must take the initiative. There were some families in this study who gave the child no understanding of his background and also seemed to be fairly well adjusted and happy families. However, we feel that there is the greatest likelihood of a successful handling of adoption if the parents share at least some of the information with the child. An honest acceptance of adoption by the adoptive parents is essential if they are expected to handle it successfully with the child. In our study those families with the greatest acceptance of the fact that their child was an adopted child were the happiest, the most secure, the best adjusted families. Along with the other qualities we look for in choosing and evaluating prospective adoptive parents one of the major criteria should
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be this acceptance of adoption. T h e worker should be looking for evidences of this as early as in the application interview. Some applicants enter wholeheartedly into expressing the feeling that the adopted child should know of his adoption. This is of little value unless we pursue their thinking even further, for at the time of application we are speaking of a child who does not yet exist for them and therefore they have formed no emotional ties to a child. By evidences of acceptance we mean all the things that adoption means to them now and will mean later on. W h a t will it mean to them to be parents of a child who has been born to other parents? A discussion of illegitimacy, of their feelings toward the unmarried mother and some awareness by the worker of how they will use their thinking in relation to the child is important. W h a t are the deeper meanings of their own childlessness, their adjustment to each other and their freedom and comfort in discussing sex? W i t h this acceptance of adoption, adoptive parents need to be able to feel some similarity to the natural parents. Here the agency plays a role in matching physical types and social backgrounds. This makes it possible for adoptive parents to use information about the natural parents in such a way that the child will not need to be confused or troubled by conflicting images of two sets of parents. Instead, he can think in terms of a "quasi-fused," natural, parentadoptive parent, image. It is, of course, beyond the control of the adoptive parents to assure the careful matching of physical appearance and background of natural parents with adoptive parents. This is an agency responsibility of the greatest significance. If a good matching job is done a child will not need to feel either inferior or superior to the family group in which he is placed. Adoptive parents may be able to cope with the giving of history if it does not differ too much from their own backgrounds. Adoptive parents in this study were unable to give the child any information when the background was poor. Some were unable to face it themselves and others felt that it would undermine a child's security and confidence in himself to know this. Many of us in the field of child placement have thought that those families who are most undemanding about a child's history
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are the most accepting and the most flexible. Is this really so? Do these families have the ultimate in acceptance? W e believe not. W e have been lulled into such thinking by their lack of demands. In the group studied those who were glad that their child was a foundling were usually the most insecure. By having no information about him they did not have to share it with him. They didn't care about history as they couldn't, wouldn't and, of course, did not have to deal with it. In most of the families where there was the greatest acceptance and understanding, families not only wanted history but wanted a background that compared favorably with their own. This made for their being able to discuss as many details as they did. W e must, of course, differentiate between those families who want background for the child's sake and those who want it for their own. However, it is reasonable and logical and right for parents to want backgrounds, and good ones, if we expect them to handle the information with the child. Of course, all children available for adoption do not have good backgrounds. Again we feel that there is an agency responsibility in the selection of information given to adoptive parents, so that parents and children alike can use and be comfortable with it. It is difficult to know exactly how families will handle adoption until they actually have an adopted child in their home. After we select families who seem to have the optimum of acceptance, we need to use the supervisory period before legal adoption to go even deeper into their feelings. In our study, Mrs. Norris thought she could give more of Wayne's history to him after our interview with her. She had become clearer in her own thinking, in understanding how W a y n e might be feeling and in ways of telling him. She could not have done this without having an acceptance of adoption to begin with and some understanding of the natural parents. After the careful selection of adoptive parents we, as caseworkers, can help them to clarify their own thinking in relation to what explanation of adoption they will give to their child. W e cannot hope to change them as people, work miracles after placement of a child or tell them how to handle adoption if they cannot accept it.
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T h e qualities that make for good understanding of their adopted children are there long before they come to an agency. If they are people with the capacity to be helped with this explanation, they can grow further through contact with the caseworker.
Abstracts
The Adopting Parent Sees the Child Rea H. McCormick
THE ABILITY TO PRODUCE A CHILD IS
a fulfillment of womanhood and manhood—a sort of proof of adequacy against the insecurities and anxieties which are present in every human personality. Failure in this function constitutes a trauma which is difficult, and in some cases impossible, for men and women to overcome. Experienced adoption workers have found that most sterile couples are able to bear frustration in all other areas of their life with less emotional conflict than in this. Their wish to adopt a child is basically an attempt to compensate this failure, therefore the experience of adoption is one of deep personal significance in which the placement process itself and particularly the first sight of the child by the adoptive parents is tremendously significant. 1 T h e purpose of this study is to examine and attempt to interpret the meaning of the reactions of adoptive parents during the placement experience. The term placement is used here to describe the period which begins with the adoptive parents' first meeting with the child, includes their subsequent visits, and ends when they take the child home. ι . Bernard, Viola. "First Sight of the Child by Prospective Parents as a Crucial Phase in Adoption," American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, April, 1945, p. 230.
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The adoptive parent's experience with an adoption agency begins with the intake study which may consist of one or more interviews in which their situation is carefully explored. W i t h their permission the agency asks for a complete report from their gynecologist in order to determine whether or not they can have a child of their own and to ascertain causes of sterility. If their physician feels that there is a reasonable possibility of their having their own child the application may not be accepted. Other factors are also considered in determining whether the application will be accepted. These include health, age and enough financial security to insure an adequate standard of living, as well as important psychological factors. Because of the tremendous number of families applying to the adoption agency in which this study was made it is usually necessary for applicants to wait several months before being seen at intake, even though the agency has two intake workers. If the application is accepted it is explained that a home study will precede the final decision of whether the agency will place a child in the home. Often, however, because of the limited number of babies available for placement, families may wait a year or longer before the home study is initiated by the agency. During the home study the worker explores more fully with the applicants their motives in adopting a child, what it means to them to be unable to have their own child, and attempts to get a careful diagnostic picture of them as prospective parents. T h e agency attempts to select couples who are mature and emotionally well adjusted, realizing that a child's needs include not only good physical care but real love and security which only his parents can give him to develop into a happy, well adjusted person. After the home has been approved there is another waiting period during which a suitable child for the family is sought by the agency. Couples usually use this period in getting ready for the baby—selecting the nursery furnishings, preparing the layette, and so forth. They are encouraged to do this by the agency although they can be given no assurance as to just when a placement can be made. Actually, it is possible to give them only a few days' notice before they are to see the child
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which has been selected for them. The child is then described to the couple and his background and development discussed with them. Following this they visit him in the foster home. Usually the placement process consists of several visits and often the entire process, from the time the couple is called until they take the baby home, covers a period of from ten days to two weeks. During this time they complete the practical arrangements for taking the baby home and also work out some of their feelings in relation to the baby and to this phase of the adoption experience itself. After the placement of the child, a worker, usually the one who made the original home study and who therefore knows the family best, follows through on the supervisory period of one year prior to the legal adoption of the child. This study deals only with the placement experience, with special emphasis upon the parents' first meeting with the child. This is only one phase of the whole process beginning with the first intake interview and finally culminating in the legal adoption of the child, but it is at this point that the peak of anxiety is reached. This is an experience packed with drama and significance and both adoption workers and parents have been surprised and shocked by the startling reactions which parents sometimes experience at this time. ILLUSTRATIVE CASES STEVENS
Mr. Stevens, age thirty, and Mrs. Stevens, age twenty-eight, are a handsome young couple, both very outgoing and with a sort of contagious enthusiasm for living. They had been married for six years when they applied to the agency to adopt a child. They had learned about three years previously that Mr. Stevens was sterile. The Stevens wanted a girl baby and Mr. Stevens particularly wanted the baby to be blond with blue eyes to look as much like Mrs. Stevens as possible. They were not concerned about background or the child's potentialities for intellectual development, but stated that their only wish was for a normal, healthy infant.
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T h e baby which was presented to them was a three-month old infant, a small-boned, dainty looking little girl with regular features and fair complexion. During the drive to the foster home they were gay, talkative and apparently very happy. However, underneath this I could sense that they were excited and tense and also, perhaps, nervous. Mrs. Stevens volunteered that while she had waited so anxiously for this time to come and she was really very happy, she nevertheless did feel a little nervous. I reassured her about this and talked to them both about how parents are sometimes disappointed when they see the baby. I went on to say that while it was true that we had selected a child which we felt would be suitable for them, there was an element which comes into a placement, at the time parents actually see a child, which we cannot foretell. I explained that when parents, even though they are extremely eager for a baby, see the child for the first time they are sometimes upset and somehow unhappy when they really expected to be very happy. I talked with them about some of the reasons why parents feel upset and anxious the first time they see a baby and went on to say that if they felt anxious and undecided about the baby,, or upset in any way, they should regard these feelings as being perfectly normal under the circumstances. I had the feeling that this couple was so tremendously excited and eager to see the baby that it would be hard for them to understand and accept some of the reactions which I discussed with them unless they had preparation for it. W h e n we arrived at the foster home, the foster mother directed us into the sun room where the baby was lying in her carriage. T h e Stevens walked up to the carriage and stood looking down at her very quietly for what seemed like a long moment. T h e baby was looking back at them solemnly and the room was completely quiet. T h e n simultaneously the Stevens looked at each other and both started to speak at once, each saying something about how lovely the baby was. Mrs. Stevens then picked the baby up and held her in her arms, speaking to her gently, and Mr. Stevens quickly took them both in his arms. There were tears in both their eyes and Mrs. Stevens remarked rather shakily, "this makes everything seem complete,
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doesn't it, Bob?" A t this, the highest moment of tension seemed to have passed and the Stevens became very gay and exuberant over the occasion. I then left the room with the foster mother so that they could be alone with the baby for a little while. After we had been gone for perhaps fifteen minutes, Mr. Stevens came into the room where we were. H e was tremendously excited and happy about the baby and was feeling very emotional. W h e n I returned to the room where the baby was, Mrs. Stevens was sitting in a chair holding her and talking to her gently. Already in talking to the baby she referred to herself as mother and Mr. Stevens as daddy. Mrs. Stevens wondered if she might see the umbilical hernia which I had mentioned, so the foster mother loosened the baby's clothing so that she could see this. Although the hernia was a very slight one, Mrs. Stevens seemed unduly concerned about this. Both the foster mother and I reassured her about this, explaining that this was a common condition among young babies and that it could be corrected without any difficulty. She seemed reassured by this and stated that of course when she took the baby to her pediatrician he would probably take care of this. T h e little birthmark below the baby's eye did not concern the Stevens at all and, on the contrary, they thought it rather attractive, calling it her "beauty mark." After playing with the baby for a while longer we left, having arranged with the foster mother that we would return on the following day so that the Stevens could take the baby to their pediatrician in the city. During the drive back to the city I noticed that M r . and Mrs. Stevens were feeling very happy and very close to each other. Mr. Stevens drove part of the time with his arm around Mrs. Stevens and they were feeling very tender and gay and affectionate with each other. T h e y began in a very natural way to talk about how they felt when they saw the baby. M r . Stevens said that he had had a very strange sensation when he first looked at Carol. It seemed that everything suddenly turned dark and then gradually the baby's face became clear to him again and he thought she was lovely looking. H e knew then that he could take this baby and be happy, but he was afraid to speak before he saw how Mrs. Stevens was feeling, because he felt that this was so important and he wanted to be sure they felt
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the same way. As Mr. Stevens told this Mrs. Stevens looked at him smiling, and said that this had been exactly the same thing that she had been thinking. She had felt that she wanted the baby also but she had wanted to be sure how he felt. It was very significant to them both that they had looked at each other and then began to speak at the same time. Just before leaving the foster home, the foster mother's little girl had come in from school and had been coughing lightly. T h e foster mother explained to me that this was nothing serious and that the child really did not have any cold. However, during the drive back to the city Mrs. Stevens mentioned this and was very worried about it, fearing that the baby might take cold. I told her that the foster mother had discussed this with me and had felt that there was no danger whatever, but Mrs. Stevens was a little worried about this nevertheless. The Stevens then questioned me about the possible clanger of the baby's mother trying to get her back or possibly being able to trace her and find out where she is. They knew that we had some kind of records regarding the baby and they also wondered how these records are kept and what danger there would be in this kind of information falling into the hands of people who should not see it. Although I felt that the Stevens had a good understanding of how the agency functioned in relation to securing legal consent for adoption from the mother before placing a child, etc., I nevertheless went over all these matters with them again and also explained to them that records are kept confidential, in locked files, so that there would be no danger whatever of the child's family ever being able to trace her. As I left, Mrs. Stevens remarked with a smile that although the morning had seemed short they had, nevertheless, been through quite an experience. She went on to say that she had felt very nervous before she saw the baby, and so excited that it was not until she held the baby in her arms for a while that she could appreciate how she looked and what she was like. It is interesting to note that while the Stevens were able to move out quickly to the baby and to get a good deal of pleasure out of the experience, there were nevertheless several indications of tenseness and anxiety of a mild nature. W h e n
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I left them they were happily making plans to bring the baby home and to get in touch with all the family to tell them about the baby. REGAN
Mr. and Mrs. Regan, aged forty-five and forty-one, are an attractive, intelligent couple, both having excellent educations and sharing a wide range of cultural and intellectual interests. Mr. Regan is a banker and the family is wealthy. The Regans had been married for eight years when they applied to the agency to adopt their second child. Both were unable to have children for physical reasons. They had adopted their first child, a little girl, five years earlier and, in evaluating them as parents, the worker felt that they had done an unusually good job with their youngster. They were deeply devoted to her and she was a charming, poised, happy child who seemed quite secure and well adjusted. Mrs. Regan showed some hesitancy in discussing sex information with the child, and it was also learned that they had not told her that she was adopted. Since Mrs. Regan showed a good deal of feeling about this, the worker tried to help her. It was felt that she was able to work through her feelings successfully and that she had accepted the point of view that it would be best to give the child this information before preparing her for the coming of the new baby. As had been previously arranged, I met Mr. and Mrs. Regan at the office. Mr. Regan seemed quite eager but Mrs. Regan was very reserved and quiet. They spent a little time talking about Ann, their little girl, and showing me pictures of her. W e drove to the foster mother's home and I think it is interesting that Mrs. Regan brought the dog with her but did not bring Ann. She said that Ann did not know they were going to see this baby and they wanted to be ready to accept it before they told Ann. When we came into the foster home Mrs. Regan stood with her pocketbook under her arm. The foster mother gave her the baby, but Mrs. Regan only held him for a short while, then she gave the baby to her husband and again picked up her pocketbook. Mr. Regan went out to the baby warmly, kept admiring the smallness of his hands and
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feet, and said that he was an attractive child. Mrs. Regan stood by like a bystander. There was absolutely no sense that she was going out to this child or that in any way she wanted the child. T h e foster mother and I left them alone for a few minutes. T h e y finally called in that the baby was going to sleep and they thought they ought to leave. Actually they spent only seven minutes with the baby altogether and I got the sense that this was not the child that Mrs. Regan wanted. I discussed this with Mrs. Regan on our way back to the office and she said that she had not yet made up her mind. There was something that was bothering her but it certainly was nothing she could share with me. Mr. Regan laughingly said he was a wonderful baby and that he knew his wife; no matter what she did it took her time to make up her mind. She could never give an answer to anything immediately. H e felt sure that she would like the baby, but that it would be better if she had some time to think about it. It was decided that the Regans would call me on the following day. T h e next day Mrs. Regan called me and said that they were excited about the baby and wanted to take him. T h e y wondered, however, if they could wait until Monday because they wanted their own pediatrician to examine him. Arrangements were made for a visit Monday evening since that was the only time the Regans could come and it was agreeable with the foster home. Three days later I received a telephone call from Mrs. Regan w h o said that she was ready for the baby but wondered if she could have more time to plan for it and to think about it. In this interview she indicated that she wanted to take the baby to her sister's for a few days and then bring the child home. W h e n I questioned why she wanted to do this Mrs. Regan said that she did not want the neighbors to know she was adopting a baby. I wondered what she thought she was going to tell them and she said she wasn't going to tell them anvthing. I remarked that certainly they must know she had adopted this babv since she did not look pregnant. I thought that this was something that she and I ought to discuss together before we even thought in terms of her taking this child, and arrangements were made for me to visit Mrs. Regan and her husband that evening. She
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even curtailed the time of the visit, asking if I could come about 7:30 as she expected her family to be there at 8:30. When I arrived home that night I learned that Mrs. Regan had called, cancelling the evening appointment and saying she would get in touch with me in a few days about David. Mr. Regan called me at home, saying that he did not know whether I had gotten the message and did not want me to make the trip. I said that I felt that this was an extremely important thing to think over and I thought it involved something much greater than Mrs. Regan's taking David. I wondered if it didn't involve the whole question of adoption. Mr. Regan said that he would be very glad to see me if I wished to take that trouble, and I indicated that it was something that we would have to discuss and iron out. Later I visited the Regans in their home. Ann was waiting up for me and was obviously prepared for the fact that the family might get a baby brother, although I did not get the feeling that they had told her about David. Ann seemed to be a nice, outgoing child, who met me easily, and whose relationship with her parents seemed to be a warm one. T h e interview took place on the sun porch and was calm and pleasant. I wondered if Mrs. Regan had been upset after having adopted Ann and how much they had known about Ann. She said at first that the minute she saw Ann she had wanted her but later in the interview it came out that she had had a great many questions about Ann; for example, the baby's eyes seemed bulging, and only on a pediatrician's statement that Ann would not continue to have bulging eyes but rather large eyes, had she accepted the baby. She had had a very pleasant casual relationship with the volunteer at the agency. At that time the agency was staffed by some untrained volunteer workers, and it was more of a social relationship than a professional one. She indicated some hostility over the fact that she had only had to wait a few months for Ann, while she had had to wait two years before we would give her a baby. She wondered why that was and I explained a little bit to her the difference in procedure. She also stated that she felt that the people before this had been much more tactful than we were, and when I questioned her
Studies
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about it she told me that when Miss G. had called she had left a message to the effect that she was from the agency. Mrs. Regan did not understand why her cook had to know that she was adopting a baby. She said that she had told this to Miss G. and the latter had not seemed to understand why she was upset. I wondered why Mrs. Regan was upset and she said that she felt that when she had wanted to tell her cook that she was adopting a baby she should do it and not have an outsider do it. I said that she was perfectly right about that and apologized for the untactfulness of the message. I wondered, however, if all of this did not revolve around the fact that she did not want people to know that she was adopting a baby. I asked her if she had told Ann about her adoption and she said that she had not. It seemed that the crux of the matter was here. W e talked about the necessity of explaining this to Ann before the family could even consider whether or not they wanted David, and I spent a good deal of time talking to them about telling a child about its adoption, how it could be done, and what it meant. I also told them carefully, by giving them stories and examples, that if they showed any conflict about telling Ann about her adoption the child would sense it and would feel that her mother was ashamed about something, that there was something wrong, and she, too, would be ashamed about it. Mrs. Regan told me stories of people who had told their children about adoption and had had bad results. I wondered how they had done it and at what age they had done it, and Mrs. Regan did not know. I explained the importance of correct timing for this kind of thing in terms of a child's whole development. Mr. Regan obviously had little patience with his wife's feeling with regard to telling Ann about her adoption. He said he would want the whole wide world to know because he thinks it such a wonderful thing. If anyone had told him that he could love Ann as much as he did before she was adopted he would not have thought it possible. His whole life revolves around her and he definitely wants another child and wants Ann to know about the adoption. He obviously was very taken with David, because on occasion he kept saying that suppose they told Ann about her adoption in the next few days, then could they take David home with them? I told him that
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Parent Sees the Child
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this was something that would have to simmer. They could not expect to take a baby until it was something that Ann could definitely acclimate herself to and understand. As we talked I wondered why Mrs. Regan felt it so hard to tell Ann about her adoption, suggesting that when something like that was bothering us it had an emotional reason. As we talked about adoption I linked it up with sex; I began to realize that Mrs. Regan was inhibited about sex. Ann has seen her mother undress but not her father. Only very recently did Mrs. Regan explain to Ann that a baby brother would be "built differently" than she was. Ann has learned the French word "poitrine" for breast, because Mrs. Regan felt it was easier to teach her that. She indicated that she had had no such information as a child, and I got a feeling that there was maladjustment there in relation to it. As we talked further Mrs. Regan finally blurted out the fact that she knew everything about Ann's background, and even at this point, five years later, could describe to me what the child's mother was like. I said to Mrs. Regan that that was what was bothering her about telling about adoption, and with a sigh of relief she said that was true. Every time she thinks of telling Ann about her adoption she realizes that Ann is not hers. She has not yet been able to accept the fact that Ann is not "blood of her blood and flesh of her flesh." W h e n she saw David, she saw his mother's face between her and the baby. I talked to Mrs. Regan very seriously about this and pointed out that she was going through now what other families have gone through at the time they take a child. I indicated that there was nothing wrong in her feeling as she did but that nevertheless her feelings would have to be clarified before she could go ahead in terms of accepting another child. I kept taking away any sense of wrong or blame, and attempted to make it as natural as possible. I said that unless Mrs. Regan could completely face the fact that this was not her child, but that she could love him as her child, she would always have difficulty in explaining adoption to Ann and later to her second child. I wondered if she should not get some help with this, and suggested her going to a psychiatrist. Mrs. Regan said that it hung over her; she knew it was something that must be done, but she has kept putting it off
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and off because she dreaded so much having to tell Ann that she did not come from her. She showed some interest in seeing a psychiatrist, but Mr. Regan showed even more and asked for a list of psychiatrists and discussed them a little bit with me, Mrs. Regan joining in. They both felt that Dr. S. would be the person to see. The interview was left at that. Mrs. Regan would see Dr. S. and work through with Ann this whole question of adoption. W e were withdrawing David from them but would see them again in the Fall, at which time we hoped to have a baby for them provided that all was well and they still wanted another child. Mrs. Regan faced adoption with all its implications for the first time five years after adopting her first child. Old records in the agency do not give full information regarding placements but we can assume from her own description of her reactions to the first baby that she experienced anxiety and conflict at that time. However she denied and repressed some of this until it had become so buried that up until the present experience she had never been able to face fully her own inability to have a child and to come to terms with her conflict over this. She is haunted by the ancient concept of "blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh," and this stands like a specter between her and her loved child. When Mrs. Regan saw the second baby, all her anxiety came to the surface; she was so numbed by her feelings that she could not relate to him at all. She drives herself on into the experience of taking the baby because a part of her wants him, while at the same time another part of her cannot accept him because he is not her own. She verbalizes this clearly when she says that she sees the own mother's face between her and a baby when she looks at him. In all other areas of her life, Mrs. Regan seems secure and emotionally well balanced. She has achieved a happy and successful marriage. Her relationships with her parents and siblings are normal and satisfying ones. She loves her child and is able to give her enough security to let her develop into a happy, well adjusted little girl. She is, herself, well adjusted socially and apparently enjoys a full and satisfying life.
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CONCLUSIONS
For adopting parents the whole placement process, and particularly the first sight of the child being offered them for adoption, is an experience fraught with emotion. In the illustrations discussed here we can see common patterns of reactions which include pain, anxiety, shock, rejection and ambivalence. For adopting mothers who have looked forward to this event as a happy fulfillment of their great desire for a child these reactions are not only disappointing but disturbing and frightening. They are usually unable to understand the reasons for their negative reactions, and the understanding and skilled case work assistance of the worker is needed in helping them through this experience. A certain amount of the anxiety which adopting mothers experience during placement may be regarded as normal and a part of their psychology at this time. However, when deeply ambivalent feelings or disturbances are revealed, as in the case of Mrs. Regan, it is important that the worker be able to recognize these and help the couple to accept their feelings as comfortably as possible. One factor which increases the anxiety and discomfort of adoptive parents during the placement process is that they, unlike natural parents, can "back out" if they choose. W h e n parents are having their own child, however worried they may feel, they have no choice but to accept it, therefore they have no decision to make; but in the unnatural situation of adoption, parents have the added responsibility of making a decision, and this must be made in the midst of an emotional crisis in their lives. It is important in the placement process that the worker be constantly evaluating and re-evaluating a couple as prospective parents. In order to do this skillfully she must have some awareness of what these reactions mean. Any consideration of what is normal must necessarily be relative since the situation itself is not a normal one. It is, therefore, important to understand that when a woman displays reactions of anxiety it does not necessarily mean that she is a neurotic, unstable person who is unfit for motherhood. On the contrary, if the worker can give the adoptive parents skilled support in work-
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ing through their feelings during the placement experience, she will be helping them to make adoption a happy, satisfying, and successful experience for both themselves and their child.
Day Nursery Care for Τωο-year Olds Gisela Julia Plowman
I N ACCEPTING THE CARE OF CHIL-
dren the day nursery is confronted with a large responsibility in providing for the present and future mental health of its charges. Although the age of admission has been consciously pushed upward, many day nurseries are still caring for young children below two years of age and within the just-two age group—in many instances no alternative program is available to the child. Furthermore, some children at two years of age seem ready for social experience and benefit from the stimulations inherent in group life away from the home environment; while others are not ready until later in their development. This study was undertaken to determine which two-year olds belong in a day nursery. It also seeks to point out some factors responsible for the only fair or poor adjustment of some two-year olds. T h e children studied were those in the two-year old group at the X Day Nursery in June, 1946. T h e presence of a case worker and the level of psychiatric orientation of the staff encouraged inquiry into the existing program and made data easily available for analysis. T h e eleven children ranged in ages from twenty-four months to thirtyone months, with varying lengths of time in the nursery.
Studies of
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X DAY NURSERY TWO-YEAR OLD GROUP
Pennie Bill Trudy Tim Jane Paul Tubby Tom Joe Anne Tony
Present Age:
Age at Admission:
5 months tt 3° a 31 tt 35 tt 28 tt 28 tt 28
22 months 26 " 21 " 28
2
31 29 24 2
5
tt tt tt tt
7K
7 23 29 18
2
3 11
"
"
Time in Group Daily: 6 -7 8/2-9
hours
9 6
-7
"
9 7 6
"7'/2 -6y2
" " "
1
7/2-8
2
"
7/2 8
FINDINGS
Two of the eleven children, Pennie and Bill, seemed to make the best adjustment. They are usually happy and relaxed with themselves and in their associations with others. In their choice of activities they are relatively independent; in the main they use their toys with purpose and good coordination. In most of their play they sustain their interest until it has run its course, then they go on to explore, on their own initiative, another activity. Though mostly solitary in play, their contacts with others have only a minimum of destructive aggression, and this usually breaks forth under legitimate circumstances. Though Bill is not as adept at defending himself as Pennie, his excitement and tears on being attacked are shortlived. Both children are constantly in movement and alertly enquiring, but in a relatively organized purposive manner rather than in an aimless fizz of energy. Adults are used mostly in circumstances involving actual obstacles beyond their own capacities for solution. In their feeding and sleeping they are usually matter-of-fact and undisturbed by routine. Neither child needs recourse to nervous
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mannerisms, dawdling, or constant restlessness. Though toileting has not been achieved by Pennie, she is beginning to assume more responsibility in this. Both assist in dressing during toileting. They are able to conform to adult wishes and the limitations they impose, without temper outburst or fear of the adult. Their demands for affection and physical contact with the adult are not excessive or always present. T h e major part of their mothering comes from their own mothers, with whom they feel themselves securely established. Though both mothers show some personality difficulties, observation of the mothers with their children leads to the conclusion that the mother-child tie in both instances has a preponderance of positive elements. Four of the eleven children made only a fair adjustment. They tended to be unsure of themselves and to be overly dependent on an adult for the solution of most of the problems confronting them. Though these children came from homes where they had experienced a relatively secure love relationship with one mother figure, firmness and consistency of parental attitudes were lacking. T h e mothers of these children tended to be anxious and over-protective. These children tended to be easily discouraged and to be thrown into a temper tantrum on slight provocation. Five, or nearly half, of the children were poorly adjusted to the group. They came from very deprived backgrounds where their mothering needs either had been largely unmet, or else had been extended by anxious and immature mothers who placed greater demands on the children than they could hope to meet at their present stage of development. These children did not seem ready for a group experience. They were either aggressive or else withdrawn, with an almost complete absence of social awareness and an exceptionally great need for direct adult guidance and encouragement. T h e major part of the teaching staff's time was devoted to these five children, either in protection of the children themselves or of the others they attacked. T h e behavior of the group as a whole showed that the greatest
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difficulties for the largest number of children occurred in relating to others, in not feeling confident enough to defend themselves, and in the absence of initiative to solve a measure of their own problems. Two
CASES
PENNIE
Pennie is a tiny brunette girl with doll-like features, who at twenty-five months displays a great deal of composure and selfdirection. She first came to the nursery at twenty-two months. Her nursery day is from six to seven hours long. Expression in Play: Pennie's gross coordination is good, though the Merrill-Palmer test at twenty-two months indicates slower accessory muscle development than is normal. She failed in handling the scissors and in wiggling the thumb. Most of her play is in quiet pursuits such as puzzles and in fingering and spooning sand; out of doors her favorite pastime is the jumping board, which she uses with gusto and abandon. She stays with one activity a long time, seeming completely and happily absorbed with it. Her use of toys, such as puzzles, is purposive and constructive; she does not throw the pieces about, but completes the task, then goes on to something else on her own direction. Getting dirty holds no threat for her; she enters whole-heartedly into clay and water play. There is little imitation of adults in her dramatic play. Socializing: Though most of her play is solitary, she enters occasionally into parallel play around the sand box. She is quite successful in protecting herself and her belongings, though at first her smallness made her prey to the stronger children. She can share playthings to the extent that when she is finished using them she will not begrudge another child's use of them. She seldom strikes the other children; she is aggressive only as a last resort in protecting herself. She expresses little affection for the other children in terms of physical contact with them, though she enjoys being held by the teachers. To them she comes spontaneously, sits on their laps for a period, then as suddenly returns to her play.
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Care for Two-year
Olds
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Language Development: In her language development she is quite advanced. She talks to herself as she plays. She makes her needs known plainly to both teachers and other children. Phrases of four or five words are common. She is quiet when around strangers; is quite loquacious with her mother and the teachers. She can identify a great many objects. Response to Adults: Pennie regards adults as objects with which to enter into play and as sources of support and protection when danger threatens. She has little need to be encouraged by adults in her play, nor is she dependent on them for direction to new activities. She leaves her mother happily in the morning and greets her affectionately in the afternoon. She gives the impression of independence, having no need to form a close attachment to any adult. Emotional Set: Pennie has no emotional outbursts or nervous mannerisms, and seems happy most of the time. On the infrequent occasions when she is sad she just sits and watches, refusing the adult's encouragements, but approaching them in turn to be held. Feeding: She eats well and requires no adult help. In holding her spoon she is controlled, manipulating it well. Sleeping: She usually takes short naps during which she sleeps soundly, preceded by relaxed periods of talking to herself. Toilet Training: She is not toilet trained, but when taken to the toilet she cooperates. During her nap she often wets herself; soiling in the afternoon is not uncommon. Time to Adjust in the New Setting: During her first month at the nursery she was very unhappy, crying most of the time she was with the group. Test Results: Merrill-Palmer test administered at twenty-two months gave her an IQ of 124. She needed a great deal of coaxing, but did well under it. She tried a three cube pyramid, refusing to go beyond that; she attempted buttoning, but did not succeed; she failed at matching colors. With the mirror identification she refused to answer, seeming not to understand. Family Setting: Pennie is living with her mother, an attractive, intelligent woman of twenty-five, who displays much warmth and understanding of her child's needs. The mother at present seems re-
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laxed and well integrated, though the history would indicate some impatience with early feeding and toilet training. She now seems able to gain more enjoyment from her motherhood, permitting Pennie's development at her own pace. Early toilet training attempts were fraught with considerable tension and irritability on the part of the mother, and with Pennie's lack of response the mother gave up the training altogether. The mother describes the child's first year as difficult, with much crying and restlessness. The pregnancy was easy. The child was not breast-fed because the mother had little milk. Before coming to the nursery, feeding had always been a problem. Through her discussion with the case worker the mother has grown in awareness of Pennie's needs and is warm and affectionate. The father, age twenty-six, is in a business which keeps him out of town a great deal. His irregular contacts with Pennie have not made a close attachment possible. Frequent visits with the maternal grandparents have been a source of considerable affection for the child; there is an especially strong tie with the grandfather. This is Pennie's first separation from her mother. Placement was requested to permit the mother to supplement the family income. JOE
Joe is now twenty-nine months old. He is a rather small, poorly kept boy who looks quite unhappy most of the time. He has been at the nursery a year, and has consistently spent long hours there each day. Expression in Play: Throughout his early stay his play was quiet and restrained. He spent much time carrying a basket with various objects about with him; only with the teacher's encouragement did he venture to try the bike or swing. At twenty-four months the group was divided each with its "own" teacher; at that time Joe's play seemed more sustained and to hold greater meaning for him. With changes in teachers this arrangement was discontinued and the picture at twenty-nine months is that of a boy who has excellent coordination in climbing and running, but who is still mostly interested
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in non-active play. Though he spends much time in aimless wandering about in the group with his thumb in his mouth or in quiet sitting, when he does become engrossed he spends considerable time at an activity. He uses the puzzles constructively; the sandbox and jumping board seem to give him considerable satisfaction. He shows but scant interest in clay and water play; after a short time he is ready to stop. He is not particularly occupied in keeping himself clean. Socializing: On first coming to the group he was fearful of the other children; much aggressive biting and hitting was directed at him against which he could not defend himself. He stood and cried. He gained considerable security at twenty-four months when the group was divided and became extremely aggressive and capable of defending himself. At this time also he took a more active part in the group. The picture at twenty-nine months is that of a child who does mostly solitary play and who has regressed somewhat in defending himself. He screams and falls to the floor if another attempts to take his toy away. He is not overly aggressive, though he does pull hair occasionally in self-defense. Though he does not actually participate in group play he circulates among the other children, and is not averse to sitting in a box or riding on the kiddy car with them. He does little dramatic play, but occasionally seeks out one other child for a short period of parallel play. He responds to affection and occasionally extends a spontaneous hug. Language Development: At twenty-four months he began to use single words. At the present time he uses simple sentences and can identify an "average" number of objects, though he is usually quiet and does not talk to himself in play. Response to Adults: Joe is very dependent on adults, he needs much special attention and encouragement. On his own initiative he seeks their support and approval. He likes to be held on the teacher's lap; when not active he enjoys being physically near the adult. The teacher who is able to give him the most attention is his preference. He forms his attachments according to this, shifting about from one to the other. He takes matter-of-factly to being left by his mother in the morning, never protesting.
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Emotional Set: Joe is extremely moody and withdrawn most of the time. He reflects his relationship with his family. At times he can be outgoing and happy, though Mondays are usually hard days for him; his moodiness is then accentuated. The picture at twenty-nine months is in decided contrast to that at twenty-four months when the groups were divided. He was then described as happy, outgoing, and alert. Feeding: At meal time he is independent in feeding himself. He often needs to be encouraged to finish his meal; he responds easily to this. Sleeping: He is an excellent sleeper, the first to be in bed and the first to go to sleep. He usually sleeps about three hours. In the process of dressing and undressing for bed he shows little self-help. Toilet Training: When he first came he resisted all efforts at bowel control or training. He cried when being taken to the bathroom; during the day he had repeated accidents. With the group's division at his twenty-fourth month, he progressed remarkably well. He no longer protested being taken to the bathroom; his accidents were less frequent. At twenty-six months he was completely trained. At present he requests to be taken and manages his own clothing very well. Time to Adjust to the New Setting: There is no information available as to his initial adjustment. As to his progress over the past six months, he seems to be moving very slowly in every sphere, only hesitatingly venturing forth into play, still needing constant adult support. Test Results: The Merrill-Palmer test, given at twenty-six months, gave him an I.Q. of 104. He was quite persistent and interested, finding the mirror test especially fascinating. He tried to find his image by looking and feeling behind the mirror; he failed to identify himself. In attempting to cut with the scissors he failed and gave up. It was felt that there might be a language difficulty as he failed the verbal tests (a foreign language is spoken at home). The matching colors test was failed. Only a moderate amount of praise seemed necessary. His replies came quickly and impetuously. Family Setting: Both parents were bom abroad and were educated in this country. The father, age thirty-five, is a businessman and a
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Care for Two-year Olds
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constant source of both warmth and affection in the life of the child. The mother, age thirty, is a professional woman, charming and outgoing in her relations with adults, but casual and with little warmth for her children. In the cultural setting of the parents, care of the children by a permanent substitute mother is quite acceptable and needs to be kept in mind in considering the family relations. The mother's strong desire to work for her native country's welfare places her mothering in a secondary light. Joe is admittedly an unplanned and unwanted child. Caring for him has constantly interfered with her other interests. Though she is aware of her neglect she is undisturbed, accepting it as "too bad," but with no other alternative. Though case work help has been offered she has not been able to use it. Joe's early training came from a series of nurses or from his own devices. Prior to his admission to the nursery he was left in his bed for long periods, with only a janitor to look in on him occasionally. In the beginning of his placement he was one of the first children to arrive and the last to leave the nursery. The same picture of care is evident in the two other children. Nothing is known of Joe's relations to his brothers. CONCLUSIONS
The X Day Nursery seems to contribute most in terms of continued personality growth and social development to those children who, because of their early and present home and mothering experiences, have felt loved and secure in relating to persons and objects in their environment. In addition to having had a sound love relationship with their own mothers or with a surrogate, the two children adjusting most successfully present other factors contributing to successful nursery adjustment. One of these factors is the child's previous experience with adults other than his mother; another is the flexibility of the environment as it has affected the child; for example, in the adjustment of the length of the nursery day, and the mother's willingness to have help in understanding the child. This study points to the conclusion that the setting as at present
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organized does demand too much from the children. T h e needs of the two-year olds would seem to be more adequately met by dividing the group of eleven children into small families of four or five children each, with one adult responsible for the same group of youngsters. T h e need for a shorter nursery day of six hours, though most obvious in terms of its advantages to the child, is admittedly difficult to attain, as most of the mothers must work. A change in the intake policy would seem the surest guide to a shorter day in the future. Closer liaison between teacher, parent, case worker, and child would seem of increasing importance for a more detailed sharing of mutual aims and problems. More complete and consistent records of the children's adjustment, though a burden on overworked teachers, would be rewarding in its immediate and long-term evidence of the effectiveness of the care extended. T h e nursery's present policy of placing the age of admission below two years of age is open to considerable question.
Girls involved in Sex Offenses Elizabeth G. Meier
THIS IS A STUDY OF ONE HUNDRED
girls who were used as material witnesses in court prosecutions of adult men charged with sexual offenses against them. T h e data were drawn from the records of a children's protective agency, one of whose several functions being that of instituting court proceedings against adults who perpetrate crimes against children. T h e sample includes only girls. It represents one-third of the cases of this nature in which the adult courts in one N e w York borough ordered a decision in 1940.
I. THE F A M I L Y , THE GIRL, THE NATURE OF HER SEX ACTIVITIES
T h e outstanding point revealed by the data has been the multiplicity of problems in the family relationships of these one hundred girls. Less than half of the girls were living with both own parents. In comparing the data of this study with data concerned with general delinquency, it was found that these girls were living with both own parents somewhat less frequently than were delinquent children in general. It is believed that this difference may relate to the fact that a child's attitudes toward sex, and his capacity to give and receive love in a socially acceptable manner, are grounded in his experiences within the family group. Some effort has been made to evaluate the quality of the family life of these girls who did live with both parents, and it was seen that more than a third of the families
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had been known previously to the agency on the basis of serious difficulties involving parents and children. Economic distress was far more prevalent among the families of these one hundred girls than it was in the general population of this borough as determined by the relief status of this group and the population. T h e girls from relief-receiving families accepted money in return for their sex activities more frequently than did the girls from families where the source of support was employment in private industry. O f the one hundred girls, twenty-seven were Negro and seventythree were white. T h e Negro race contributed its members to this group in excess of their ratio in the population, but when the nature of the girls' sex activities was examined it was found that the Negro girls engaged in abnormal sex practices much less frequently than did the white girls. Only 7.4% of the Negro girls were under ten years of age in contrast with 19.2% of the white girls. However, there were more Negro girls than white girls, on a percentage basis, in the group eleven, twelve, and thirteen years of age. Fourteen of the one hundred girls were pregnant and seven were found to have some form of venereal infection. Almost half of the girls in the group were neither oldest nor youngest children in their ordinal positions, but the only child appeared more frequently than did children of any other specific ordinal position, with the oldest child in a family of three children appearing next in order of frequency. In examining the grade placements of the girls it was found that retardation occurred about three times as frequently, and advanced grade placement occurred about two and one-half times as frequently as these abnormalities in placement occurred in the general school population. Study of the girls' sex activities reveals wide variations in practice. T h e frequency with which girls engaged in sex practices with men in the company of other children is noted. A relatively small number of girls were forced to engage in sex practices. A n attempt was made to define for practical purposes the qualities which determine whether or not the sex activities were normal or abnormal, as voluntary., non-incestuous relations between a girl not less than fourteen
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years of age with one man not more than fifteen years older than she, in which sexual feelings were expressed by intercourse and in which the man did not give payment to the girl. Of the seventy-one girls who had sexual intercourse, less than a third of the relationships had been engaged in without the elements of compulsion, incest, plurality of sex partners, girls less than fourteen years of age, or the man more than fifteen years older. Furthermore, in most instances more than one of the above items occurred within the relationship. However, with twelve of the twenty-five Negro girls who engaged in intercourse, these elements were not present; they were not present with eleven of the forty-six white girls who engaged in intercourse. It was found that thirty-nine girls engaged in practices other than intercourse. T h e findings regarding the family relationships, the girl's characteristics, and the nature of her sex activities suggest the advisability of considering these various factors in their relationships to each other before the determining of the course of action which shall be taken with the girl. (See case of ROSE, p. 163.) II. THE
MEN
CHARGED W I T H
OFFENSES
AGAINST
THE
GIRLS
T h e ages of the men ranged from sixteen to seventy-two years. The white men, as a group, were older than the Negroes; 68.1% of the white men were older than twenty years of age, whereas 68.6% of the Negroes were twenty years of age or under. T h e greater plurality of sex partners of the white girls, in contrast with the Negro girls, is reflected in the composition of the men of this group. It is found that the seventy-three white girls were involved with one hundred and seventeen white men, one Negro, and three Chinese. T h e twenty-seven Negro girls were involved with thirty-one Negroes and two white men. A fifth of the men were unemployed, their occupation being listed as "none," or not stated at all. T h e frequency of men engaged in small business ventures is noted. More than a third of the white men was charged with engaging in abnormal sex practices, but only three Negroes were charged with
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offenses of this nature. The white men accused of abnormalities other than rape were older as a group than those where sex activities involved non-incestuous sexual intercourse. A greater percentage of the men who engaged in abnormal sex practices were married and were employed than was indicated for the men who were charged with physiologically normal sex activities. III. THE ACTION OF THE CHILDREN'S COURT AND THE ADULT COURTS
The findings have indicated that the police, the parents or relatives, and the Agency were the most frequent sources for initiating the investigations which led to legal proceedings against the man charged with a sex offense. Parents or relatives took the initiative in asking for investigations with greater frequency when incestuous relations were involved than they did for the group as a whole. The need for corroboration is a handicap in dealing with incest cases, and it is suggested that the mere charge of incest, regardless of the disposition of the Court, should be an adequate danger signal that the family's relationships are seriously impaired. In deciding whether to make a charge of neglect it is needful to consider the constructive or destructive effect of the family relationships. Such consideration involves the most sensitive awareness of what effect various types of problems might have upon the children, and requires skilful, diagnostic ability on the part of the worker. There are indications that when the children's court decided the disposition of the girls' cases (adjudging delinquent or neglected) the nature of the sex activity itself rather than the girl's whole situation was given greater weight. This finding was revealed through a brief analysis of the cases in which no neglect or delinquency petition was deemed necessary. Although those cases showed fewer general problems, the contrast with the neglected and delinquent girls was not as great as the contrast between their sex activities and those of the latter group. When petitions were filed for girls, and they were found neglected or delinquent, the courts depended upon institutional placement
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for treatment. This may be related to the availability of other forms of care. Most of the girls, however, were dependent for treatment upon the homes in which they had been living plus the services of probation. Similarly in the cases of men, the penal institution was the only resource available to the Courts. The suggestion of a hospital and prison combined for the care of men convicted of sex offenses was quoted. Men who were accused of rape were convicted with far greater frequency than men accused of abnormal sex practices. This again relates to the legal processes, for rape, by its nature, provides the basis for evidence which can be used against the man. Men's cases were disposed of on reduced charges more frequently than they were disposed of on the original charge. Negro men, in spite of the fact that they were younger and involved fewer girls, were sent to penal institutions more frequently upon conviction than were white men. The cases of the twenty-three girls and the twenty-three men whose sex relationships contained none of the aberrant qualities described in a previous section, showed that when the Courts disposed of these cases, discrimination was used in that these girls and men were sent to institutions less frequently. Two
CASES
MARY
Mary is one of the twenty-three girls whose relationships involving sexual intercourse contained none of the aberrations outlined. This particular case was chosen as an illustration because Mary is an articulate girl and because she is able to express some of the emotional elements which went into the relationship. Excerpts from the record and Mary's statement are as follows: August 15,1940. Worker talked with Mary B. who was brought to the office at 5:35 yesterday morning by a police officer. Mary states that she is the youngest of three children; that she was born in Indiana. Her parents were married there about twenty-five years ago. Her eldest brother is attending a University. Her sister is married and
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lives in New Jersey. Her mother has for the past two years been living in furnished rooms in New York and has been employed in a factory. Her father lives in West Virginia. She had made plans to go there tomorrow, but these plans did not materialize. Mary is a soft spoken girl but very frank. Although but fifteen years of age, it appears that she has had a great deal of responsibility and has enjoyed little childhood. She talks like a girl of eighteen or nineteen. Mary was examined by the doctor and there is evidence of full penetration. W h e n worker spoke to her about this she made the following statement: "About a year ago my mother and I used to go to a restaurant in the neighborhood. Most of the people that eat there came from different cities and towns. It was there that my mother and I met D . He is a divorced man twenty-eight years old, and formerly lived in Florida. He had an apartment at Street. D. and I got to be quite friendly and on many occasions in the restaurant we worked crossword puzzles together. I grew very fond of him and I really believe I did most of the running. He told me when I first started to talk with him that I was much too young for him, but I insisted on the companionship and as a result we have been going out together off and on for the past three months. About two months ago after I had been to his apartment with several boys and girls he had a few drinks and I think he lost control of himself. W h e n he asked me to have intercourse with him I agreed. T h e first time it happened in his apartment after the gang had left. Then I had relations with him the second time and Saturday I met him in the restaurant. It had not been a date but one of my girl friends had a quarrel with her boy friend and he stopped to talk to us about it. W e thought we would go along to help patch it up, but somehow nothing happened and D. and I were together. Finally we went to his apartment but there were several boys and girls there so he asked me to take a ride with him. I don't know the make of his car nor the year or license number. I know we were parked on D Street and we were on the back seat having intercourse when a cop came up and caught us in the act. At first we both told the truth about it, but later D. seemed to deny it.
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I stayed in the police station from one-thirty until they brought m e here at 5:35 [A.M.]." A f t e r the man was convicted by the C o u r t and M a r y was dismissed as a material witness, she and her mother returned to the father in W e s t Virginia. T h e defendant had not yet been sentenced so about a week after the time D . was to have been sentenced by the Judge, M a r y wrote the agency: "Dear Mr. " I k n o w that D . was to have c o m e up before Judge in C o u n t y C o u r t on O c t o b e r 9. W o u l d you b e so kind as to inform m e w h a t the result was. " I am going to school now and have received my grades for the first six weeks. T h e y were as follows: 3 A's, 2 B's, 2 C ' s . I am going to try hard to raise each one of them at least one letter before the next grade time. I w a n t to thank you for the nice way you treated me while I was in the h o m e . I really appreciated it. " G i v e my best regards to Mrs.
, and Mrs.
, please.
" T h a n k s again to you and all the rest for your kindness w h e n I needed it so badly. V e r y truly yours, Mary Β ." T h e agency answered her letter, telling her the sentence and the fact that its execution was suspended, and expressing pleasure that M a r y was doing well in school. In the interview with this girl some of the characteristic items of information to b e used in the prosecution of the man are to b e seen.
ROSE T h e case of Rose is regarded as not necessarily typical, b u t its usefulness as an illustration is based on several points. ( 1 ) It indicates the court's awareness of the existence of multiple factors: (2) it telescopes the swift m o v e m e n t of events in the space of a few months; ( 3 ) it provides an example of the emphasis on the sexual activities as such, in spite of the recognition of contributing causes;
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and (4) it raises many basic questions regarding the adequacy of the community's provision of services for children. The record follows: Rose was first known to the agency on 7/21/39 at which time she was brought to the shelter for safekeeping after she ran away from home. Rose was 14'/2 years old. She was in the 8B grade of a public school. She was the oldest child in an Italian Catholic family of six children. All of the siblings were boys. The mother was thirty-eight years old and the father was fifty-two. The girl's statement was as follows: "Monday night, July 17, my mother and father went out. After they left I locked the house and met my girl friend. She rented a bicycle and we took turns riding it. About ten o'clock she went home. I was afraid to go home because I thought my mother'd be mad because I went out without asking her. That night I walked around and stayed in the park. The next day I played all day in the park and that night I slept in a hallway. Yesterday my uncle found me in the park." Rose denied any sex experience. The doctor's report is negative. . . . The doctor discovered that she had a bad bruise on the inside of her thigh. Questioned Rose about this and she said she got it falling off a bicycle. On 8/21/39, a worker from the protective agency filed a neglect petition at the request of the Court and from information received from the Adjustment Bureau, Juvenile Aid and Diagnostic Clinic reports. The petition stated that: "The parents have neglected the said child in that on and prior to the 21st day of August 1939, at Street, she was without proper guardianship as this petition respectfully alleges on information and belief. The parents are physically and mentally unable to care for her. The father is a cardiac and the mother has greatly impaired eyesight and both are dependent on a pension. Rose D. is treated with ignorance and without reason. She has little or no time for recreation and receives no kindly treatment. She is openly rejected by her parents, who feel that at fourteen years she should work or get married. The result is she runs away continuously, thus endangering her health and morals."
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The record continues, going on with an interview with the parents on the same date, 8/21/39. "Because Rose has run away so often, the father wants her committed to an institution until she is twenty-one years old, and after that he does not care what happens to her. Mr. D. has been in the United States twenty-one years but cannot adjust himself to the idea that a girl needs some recreation and is not old enough to work at fourteen. He likes the way they do in Italy, where a father brings up his children the way he sees fit. He is willing to give her one more chance but is afraid this will do her no good. The mother is of the same opinion, and she does not see why Rose should do the things she does; she has no trouble whatsoever with the other children. Mrs. D. is determined not to have the girl at home. "While the parents were being interviewed Rose was also present. She did not show any resentment or disagreement in anything they said. However, she does not care to stay in the home and would rather live somewhere else. The girl gets along well in school, except this last term when, she stated, something happened and she started playing truant and was not promoted. She has been a leader in school and a number of the teachers depend on her for help when difficulty arises among the students. She tells the story of where the principal of the school found a marijuana cigarette, and Rose was asked to locate the boy who had the cigarettes. Through conversation with boys in the school she was able to locate the boy. She feels that they depend on her in school, and because she is a leader there she resents being treated as a child at home, and at present refuses to live with her parents. She was examined by the Diagnostic Clinic and recommendation was made that the girl be placed in a foster home rather than an institution. "Judge made a finding of neglect and remanded the girl to the Agency for two weeks until further investigation can be made through the Probation Department of the Children's Court." Rose was given another physical examination on the following day, 8/22/39, and the record continues: "On July 20 her report was negative . . . and from Miss 's report worker knows that Rose denied any sex experience. After she
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was examined by our doctor on the 22nd [of August] her report was more positive, and when worker questioned her about it she first denied that anything had happened, but later stated that two fellows in a car had picked her up and had handled her. She then went on to relate that last Wednesday [August 16] she went out for a walk. She had no reason for leaving home but continued to walk until she reached Street. About eleven o'clock two fellows came along and asked her to take a ride. She got in the car and went with them. She states that while in the car one of the fellows put his hand under her clothes and put his fingers in her privates. In some manner she got out of the car. . . ." The interview continues with Rose indicating the manner in which she got back home. The record then goes on: "From Rose's conversation worker gathered that she would like to be placed in a foster home, as she feels that her parents are very narrow-minded, and if she were anywhere else she would have more privileges. Worker informed Rose that as she is the oldest child she does have a certain amount of obligation to her parents and due to the fact that they are not physically able to give her the care she needs, she should at least devote some time to them and try to gain their confidence. Rose is quite large for her years; she could easily pass for 18." "Later: Miss [Probation Officer of the Children's Court] came to the office to interview Rose, who related the same story as she had told the agency. Miss said that she was inclined to be somewhat skeptical about the story of the men, and she feels that because of her experience she could not be placed in a foster home. [Italics are author's.] However, she will try to straighten out the situation the best she possibly can." Rose was not placed in a foster home. She remained with her parents and was placed on probation. Three months later, Rose is heard from again, this time a delinquent child petition being filed for her by a policeman. . . . "He found the girl in a house of ill repute at Street, in company with five male adults." The delinquency petition was filed 11/20/39. The interview with Rose follows:
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" I left home on Monday, November 13th, and they found me late Saturday night [November 18.] I don't know why I went away from home—I just felt like it. Monday night I walked around all night and stayed in a hallway for a while. Tuesday I did the same. Wednesday I met a fellow I know. His name is Vincent. I knew him about a year. He took me to a show and then he went home, but before he left I met some other fellows that I know are friends of his: Alec and Albert, his brother, James, Mike, Dominick and Skinny. W e rode around for a while in a car the fellows had and then Mike and Dominick left and Skinny, Alec, and Albert, James and me went to the park. They parked the car near the lake and the four fellows had intercourse with me in the car. Then Alec took me to his sister's house at Avenue and Street. His sister wasn't there. She had gone to her mother's and I stayed there with Alec all night, and when we were in the bed Alec got on top of my back and put his thing in me in the back. Thursday morning I left Alec and I walked around that day and that night too, and I did the same thing Friday. Saturday night I went to the movies. Alec had given me a quarter. After the movies I met all the fellows except Skinny and Vincent. W e got something to eat and then they pushed me into the car and took me to a room at Street. Somebody saw them and called a detective and he followed us to the room and arrested us all. " I forgot to tell you that Vincent had intercourse with me too. It was Saturday in the car before we went to the furnished room. T h e car was parked on Street. T h e only two fellows that didn't touch me were Dominick and Mike, but they were in the furnished room, so the detective arrested them too." On 1 / 3 1 / 4 0 Rose was committed to St. Philomena's Training School.
Babies in Search of a Home Shirley Zaret
THIS PROJECT IS THE STUDY OF THIR-
teen case records selected because they illustrate ways in which babies participate in the total process of placement. "Participation" is here thought of in several ways. At times a baby will vocally tell us of what he is thinking by crying, cooing, gurgling, or really expressing a word or a phrase if he knows them. He may accelerate the rate of adjustment or he may resist some plan we have in mind. He may make us feel justified in our plan or he can, by physical, emotional, or developmental manifestations of his feelings and reactions challenge us to reconsider and modify a plan. There are different levels of participation depending on the capabilities of the child, but always we are working with the baby, "preparing" him for a placement, "getting acquainted" with him so we can better enlist his cooperation. Babies are not simply passive through a dynamically treated placement process; or simply reacting when, from time to time and in many ways, they indicate their pleasures, their unhappiness, and their needs, to workers who, willy-nilly, must soon accept their diminutive clients' challenges, demands, and controls. BARBARA
Barbara is a baby facing a second placement experience within her total age span of one year. The mother-person is altogether changed for her and she cries out in protest and alarm. She cannot find comfort in her worker's vague attempts to distract her; in such circum-
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stances there is nothing she can actually feel at this time when, more than ever, her intellectual limitations make it necessary for her to have concrete objects whose associations help orient her. She wants something in terms of her recent living pattern that can make her feel the bottom has not been wholly removed from her little world. Finally, when she is given her bottle she "quiets down at once, nestling in her new foster mother's arms." Barbara does not mean to convey that she has been hungry in the ordinary sense when she seizes on the nipple of her beloved bottle and she makes this clear when "she only clutches the nipple between her lips, hardly sucking the milk at all, until she falls asleep in the foster mother's arms." Barbara knew from this moment that she was among friends, after all, and that possibly all was not going to be so strange and different now. W i t h that, Barbara's mind has been put at rest.
HAROLD
When at the age of fourteen months, Harold is brought to the agency to meet his new foster mother, he is quite upset. He had been brought to the office by his worker who had met Harold with his former foster brother at the subway. Harold cries when the impact of the separation comes to him and he blames his worker for the separation. Crying violently, he resents his worker and yet clings to her for want of anything closer. In this dilemma little Harold soon finds himself in the Clothing Department about to be fitted out in a strange, new outfit. Article by article he loses his familiar clothes, and article by article his resentment rises. But there is one item he resolves not to relinquish—one thing nobody can deny is his, and no one can take from him. They can make him look all clean and new. They can send him on to a new home and a strangely unfamiliar mommy and daddy, but they must let him keep one symbol of the days that up to this moment were the basis of his reality world. W h e n they come to take his little hat he pulls hard to keep it on and quickly adjusts it right again. He is such an anxious little person as threats come to him in so many new ways that he must keep something to give him courage to go ahead; and that courage can come
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only by way of an association with a meaningful familiar object. For Harold, it is not a bottle which he no longer cherishes as Barbara did, but it is that little hat that has come with him through a good deal of rough handling, has kept him warm for a long time, and has been something he has enjoyed manipulating for a long time. When, to Harold's relief, his worker makes no fuss about his special requisition and permits him to wear it all through admission and even when he arrives in his new home, Harold breathes freely once again—or at least freely enough to give him the strength to carry on and proceed with the business of self-orientation in the new scene and all it holds for his future.
GERRY
In a way very similar to Harold, Gerry speaks up for something he must have to make the bridge between old and new settings an emotionally tolerable one by introducing a familiar, meaningful part of the former to the latter. Gerry is an older child of two, and it takes much less prelude for him to guess the meaning of having to undress in the clothing room in preparation for a new set of clothes. He cannot bear to lose the very items closest to his body, the things that he has always considered his very own, the things that are warm with his body, and have given him status as an individual little boy until now. He screams in an effort to release his fears, he protests wildly, as he did when he had to undergo something similar during his humiliating medical examination. But Gerry soon begins to hear his worker's explanation of her faithfulness to him as she tries to comfort him with patient overtures of friendliness and her physical contact of surety. Gradually he allows her to undress him and to attract his attention with the fun of new clothes. This is not to say that Gerry has forgotten that his very integrity is at stake as he feels himself transplanted from all his old roots on to unknown ones. He looks around for an object he may ask to keep so that he may find the link between the old and new of his life, and thus the comfort to look ahead with his worker into his future plans. He finds the answer to this need in his old, very worn, sorry-looking pair of shoes, and
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these he will not part with. He contrives to tell all this in no uncertain terms to his worker by physical resistance to separation from them, and by vocal protest when they are threatened with being added to the heap of all his old clothes. Then, when he stops a moment to listen to that worker of his who has been telling him some very pleasant things, he finds she is willing to let him keep them and she is showing her good faith in him by wrapping the newer ones and letting him wear the old ones. After this, Gerry very manfully adopts his new clothes, and even his new foster mother, because down at the bottom of the whole trying day he still has the piece of his old existence close to him, namely, his well-known shoes. He feels much closer to his worker, too, because she has granted his big wish and she represents some of that connection between the old and new. W h e n Gerry arrives in his new home he continues to put into practice the confidence he is feeling in what the future holds for him with so real a part of the past still with him. He is careful not to allow himself to have his hat and coat removed for some time until he can survey the house a little. W h e n he sees a crib that must surely be the very bed he has had in his former home, and when he has touched the not unfamiliar toys in his room, his joy swells out again, and, feeling hardly any pain, he soon disposes of his coat and hat. W i t h that motion he gives his new foster parent and his worker the "go signal," for he is at home. T h e most successful placements come only when worker and baby pool their total resources in the process. There are three chronological stages in this placement process. There is the unit of time which includes the old status of living for the baby; there is the transition period which takes him into the new situation; and there is the third element when the baby is already relating to the new home. Of course, it is often a weary, difficult time before baby is prepared for, and brought to, his new home, where it is hoped he will be "well placed." But once there, the job only begins with new vigor, requiring continued working through by worker, foster parents, and child. A worker will want to test its value for the child, and while the latter goes through a fairly complicated procedure of adjustment to
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the new routine and the people around him, he will want to find out whether he is satisfied with it. In this interaction, a baby does not always know how to tell the worker his opinion in any but a strictly confidential manner, sometimes by very specialized devices. The worker, in turn, will find all those thoughts the youngster has managed to convey very valuable in evaluating the total placement for the baby. MAXIE Maxie is only eleven months old and that fact makes it difficult for his foster parents and worker to inform him in so many words exactly why he must be replaced, but Maxie gets a message across for himself and in turn participates in the replacement rather interestingly. First, Maxie sees how upset his foster parents are and he knows something is impending. It makes him restless all during the night before the transfer. He is not at all pleased at the prospect of things that morning, but when he is urged to say the final goodbye he does so to all his friends, feeling safe in the arms of his worker, who continues to tell him they are going "bye-bye." Maxie understands that he and his worker are going to go away in a car. This holds its allure for him so he even says goodbye to his foster father whom he loves very tenderly although he does cling to him for a few extra moments. Maxie feels the mixture of the good and bad in all this, but one thing he is certain of—he has a friend in this worker of his who is telling him pretty simply what this is all about, namely, a "bye-bye in the car" with her. Consequently, he is able to hold on to this confidence in his worker until they get into the car. There he finally absorbs some of the words she repeats several times, to the effect that she is taking Maxie "bye-bye to a new mommy and daddy." Maxie hears this very well, for it holds meaningful words for him. Finally, when Maxie arrives at his new home he understands what it holds for him. Best of all, Maxie finds he need not accept this "mommy and daddy" merely because the worker has told him who they are, and he is relieved to find he can appraise the new place for himself.
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W i t h extreme caution he examines each room, walks around a good deal, and controls the entire family and worker who wait for him to make the big decision to stay. W h e n the foster sister comes in, Maxie "smiles graciously at her but is a little shy in making up." He clings to his worker meanwhile until he feels more comfortable in the "new home" and becomes aware of the warm reception of the "new mommy and daddy." Then he discovers it is very pleasant sitting on his new mommy's lap and, finally, when his worker prepares to leave, he smiles at her calmly, silently telling her he is willing to stay in this "new home" and willing to be separated from the worker. Once in his home Maxie contrives in many ways to tell his worker without words what his feelings about his placement are, and thus he participates in the total process. How he uses his memory he specifically shows at the time of a general "follow-up" medical examination. He shows how much he remembers his resentment at the time of his first medical examination when, at the sight of the Agency building he must enter for the examination he begins to struggle against it because he associates vividly the Agency building and the medical examination. Secure as he is with his foster mother at the time, around this area in his living with her, he holds reservations about her. After each visit to the clinic he manifests a regression in his otherwise excellent relatedness to her and he shows less enthusiasm and less responsiveness to her. It offers him a real problem in fitting into the total process of placement because of the resultant unevenness, and it is something he presents to his worker for further working out. It is a case in which a small child's power of remembering promises to play a destructive part in his participatory rule unless his worker and foster mother are ready to meet the challenge. Maxie contributes in many ways to his worker's evaluation of the second foster home in terms of her client's needs. Maxie gives some indication of positive feelings for his home when "he eats well, always has a good appetite, enjoys his food." He develops well physically, as well as in his talking progress, which comes along early in the placement. On the other hand, Maxie is not finding his adjustment a simple romance of painless joy, and makes this clear, too. A t first, Maxie is at a loss without his old affectional ties, and so he goes
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about imposing a thing of the past on the new scene by returning to the habit of soiling himself. It helps him in the first weeks of adjustment to all the strangeness around him, for it is something he can feel master in. In two weeks, however, Maxie feels happier where he is. For one thing, he discovers sources of pleasure such as music, which his foster mother lets him enjoy. He listens to it fairly often, even turning on the radio by himself and dancing to it freely. He has endless fun playing with Tina, his foster sister. He comes to find real warmth and security in his foster mother because she asks him to do wonderful things, such as clapping his hands. As he finds it pleasant to assume full position in his home, he unconsciously forgets the need to resist toilet habits and to resort to soiling for comfort. All in all, Maxie makes it clear that he "feels so alive" that his worker might almost have heard him tell her so in words. Maxie's story does not go on smoothly from this point, however, since an extraordinary event in the foster mother's life makes it no longer possible for Maxie to live with her. It is necessary to tell Maxie that he will be leaving for another home, that he will be saying "byebye" to all this happiness. W i t h remarkable poise and understanding Maxie retraces some of the steps of a transfer program, that is, the farewells, the ride with his worker, the preparation for a "new home" and a "new mommy." Cheerful little Maxie grows serious at sight of the cab he will travel in and as he recalls a similar scene which had separated him once before from his mommy and home, but having been carefully prepared by his worker, Maxie decides to show his confidence in her and his readiness to go ahead. This time, as before, the worker has chosen a home she estimates will please Maxie, but what better proof of the correctness of her choice can there be than in Maxie's point of view. Again, Maxie speaks his mind to his worker as times goes on. W h e n he comes to his "home" to meet his foster "mommy," he finds her rather possessive at once and this frightens him a bit. He draws back, clinging to his friendly worker. Then he looks at Mrs. M., his foster mother, for a long time, alternately glancing back at his worker. He follows foster mother and worker upstairs to survey all the rooms but he stays close to his worker and refuses to move from her lap. Things
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just don't go off well for him from the first here. Finally, he is attracted by a white toy dog his foster mother brings to him. He realizes his worker is telling him that this is his new home, that he may play here. But for Maxie there is something tentative about this place even if his worker is telling him he is to stay here. His foster mother is offering to take his snow pants off, so with reluctance he gives her a chance to do that. Finally, Maxie is waving goodbye to his worker, smiling as if it is all right, so determined is he to give it all at least a trial. Nevertheless, his worker sees in his behavior that the little boy is "feeling uncomfortable," for he has, by showing a general upsetness at each transfer, told her it is difficult to go to so many new houses. Later he even more specifically tells her he is not happy here. He "looks tired, his eyes are heavy, he wears a sad expression." He is "refusing to use the toilet seat but just as soon as he is taken up he soils himself." Maxie has done this before and has shown his worker that for him such behavior is meaningful in terms of his happiness in a home. This time he goes further, adopting "perverse behavior patterns." He will demand "attention as soon as his foster mother gets most busy," he will cry for hours after he is put to sleep. That these last observations come by way of the foster mother is quite important, for the worker, especially when Maxie, himself, carefully repeats his performance of some of them for the worker. Still the worker wants to give Maxie more time so that if possible he might be spared another placement experience. Maxie tells her more of his feelings on her next visit. He is "playing with toys more cheerfully than on previous visits but he does not yet look like the old Maxie." Maxie looks anxiously at his worker, too, eager to come to her and stay with her. Maxie could not say more plainly that he craves affection, that when he is "perverse" he is rebelling against the restrictions of a home still just as strange to him as it was on the first day. Then the worker views the cumulative picture of the foster mother's report, her own observations, and chiefly Maxie's own conviction. Net result—Maxie's worker must take him to a new home. She prepares him once again for the trip, the "bye-bye," the "new home." Again, the worker holds in reservation a plan to make this third home the permanent home for Maxie pending Maxie's point
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of view. H e likes this foster " m o m m y " better from the very start. She tactfully gives him a chance to get his bearings in the house. W h e n his worker comes to see him next day he tells her about this new-found happiness with the old gleam in his eyes returned. H e is playing more freely already. H e is active and gay as he wasn't at his last home. H e is no longer living half-heartedly and conveys this short-wave message to his worker. H e is suddenly a good boy again because Maxie finds no reason to be otherwise and he isn't even aware that he does not need to resort to such infantile expressions as soiling himself. His appetite was never better as he unashamedly eats all he wants until the scale shows he is gaining weight. This is the message the worker has been looking for, and Maxie has given it to her in his own set of language symbols.