Shadow Work Journal: Illuminating the Dark Side of Your Psyche

Citation preview

Copyright Copyright © Aletheia Luna and Mateo Sol, 2018 Shadow Work Journal: Illuminating the Dark Side of Your Psyche All rights reserved. No part of this journal may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing by the authors. You are permitted to print this document for personal use only. The information contained in this journal is intended to be educational and not for diagnosis, prescription, or treatment of any health disorder whatsoever. This information should not replace consultation with a competent healthcare professional. The authors are in no way liable for any misuse of the material.

Shadow Work Journal

Table of Contents Exercise 1 - Playing Small.............................................................................7 Exercise 2 - The Saboteur........................................................................... 9 Exercise 3 - Negatives and Positives...................................................... 10 Exercise 4 - Emotional Suppression........................................................12 Exercise 5 - Self-Love Letter.....................................................................13 Exercise 6 - Hot Buttons............................................................................15 Exercise 7 - Family Members.................................................................... 17 Exercise 8 - Tolerance of Beliefs..............................................................19 Exercise 9 - Self-Criticism.........................................................................21 Exercise 10 - Self-Love and Gratitude................................................... 23 Exercise 11 - Secrecy................................................................................... 24 Exercise 12 - The Victim............................................................................ 25 Exercise 13 - Biggest Fear......................................................................... 27 Exercise 14 - Shadow Desires................................................................... 28 Exercise 15 - Egocentricity.......................................................................29 Exercise 16 - Sexuality................................................................................31 Exercise 17 - Shadow Letter..................................................................... 32 Exercise 18 - Self-Confidence.................................................................. 35 Exercise 19 - Self-Beliefs...........................................................................38 Exercise 20 - Flaws.....................................................................................40 Exercise 21 - Lying.......................................................................................41 Exercise 22 - Punishment......................................................................... 43 Exercise 23 - Immaturity........................................................................... 44 Exercise 24 - Triggers................................................................................46 Exercise 25 - The Addict...........................................................................49 Exercise 26 - Expressing Anger...............................................................50 Exercise 27 - Nasty Intentions..................................................................51 Exercise 28 - Body Pain............................................................................. 53 Exercise 29 - Intolerance.......................................................................... 55 Exercise 30 - Approval...............................................................................56 Exercise 31 - Mirror Work.........................................................................58 Exercise 32 - Self-Care..............................................................................59 Exercise 33 - Envy........................................................................................61 Exercise 34 - The Fanatic..........................................................................63 Exercise 35 - Golden Projections............................................................64 Exercise 36 - Sexual Needs....................................................................... 67 Exercise 37 - Door of Light Visualization..............................................69 Exercise 38 - Criticism................................................................................ 71 Exercise 39 - Siblings................................................................................. 72 Exercise 40 - Inner-Child Letter............................................................. 76 Exercise 41 - Culture.................................................................................. 78 Exercise 42 - Attraction............................................................................. 79 Exercise 43 - The Beggar.......................................................................... 82 Exercise 44 - Emotions..............................................................................83 Exercise 45 - Humor...................................................................................86 Exercise 46 - Pathworking........................................................................ 87 Exercise 47 - Impulsivity...........................................................................90 Exercise 48 - Loving Reflection................................................................91 Exercise 49 - Parents.................................................................................94 Exercise 50 - The Judge............................................................................95 Exercise 51 - Arguments............................................................................96 Exercise 52 - Values..................................................................................100 Exercise 53 - Judgments........................................................................... 101 Exercise 54 - Self-Judgment................................................................... 103 Exercise 55 - Ego....................................................................................... 105 Exercise 56 - Blind Spots..........................................................................107 Exercise 57 - Headlines............................................................................ 109 Exercise 58 - Dreams................................................................................. 111 Exercise 59 - Affirmations....................................................................... 116 Exercise 60 - Shadow Image....................................................................117 Exercise 61 - Ancestral Trauma............................................................. 120 Exercise 62 - Money..................................................................................123 Exercise 63 - Spirituality......................................................................... 129 Notes............................................................................................................ 133

Shadow Work Journal

Introduction We are all part angel and part devil inside. This is a fact of life that we must face and embrace. As spiritual beings having a human experience we have developed two faces. The first face we show to the world – this facade is called the ego. The second face we keep private – it is called the shadow. In fact, our shadow selves are so private that usually, we are not even aware of their existence. We only glimpse them during fits of rage, nightmares, pettiness, revenge, paranoid thoughts, drug and sex binges, and anything that verges on the edge of “insane” behavior. There is a good reason why our shadows remain anonymous and locked away within the dark depths of our minds. Our shadows contain everything that is considered ugly, bad, shameful, weird, taboo or socially unacceptable. Our shadows contain the parts of us that have been shunned, denied, rejected or otherwise negatively condemned by our parents, family members, and societies growing up. In order to be loved and accepted, we learned as children to hide away those parts of ourselves that were not met with praise and approval, and adopt only those traits and behaviors that were met with open arms. Cutting off and burying certain parts of ourselves was a necessary part of our survival. But there is one very significant downside to repressing parts of ourselves: they begin to fester and amplify, sabotaging our lives. Like hungry monsters clawing to get out of a dark basement, our shadows want to be brought into the light of consciousness. The longer we put off facing our shadows, the more they stealthily control and manipulate our lives. Like puppets on strings, we become vulnerable to the control of our dark side in moments of anger, stress, temptation or tiredness. Instead of learning to meet, acknowledge, and befriend our wounded parts, they become our mortal enemies. If you have ever felt at war with yourself or like you are your own worst enemy, it is because your shadows are controlling you, not the other way around. This Shadow Work Journal has been created for the purposes of helping you to bring an illuminating torch into the mysterious and dark regions of your unconscious mind. If it’s not clear already, shadow work is the practice of exploring everything that is buried within you – whether light or dark, positive or negative. Through the simple (but often confronting) process of introspective journaling, you are taking a vital step towards living a more harmonious, joyful, whole, and meaningful life. The fact is that we all have skeletons hiding in the closet and monsters lurking in the depths of our minds. We all have nasty tendencies and childhood wounds that haven’t been faced and acknowledged. We all have repressed anger and unacknowledged greatness buried deep inside. By having a shadow work journal dedicated to plumbing the depths of your psyche, you are not only doing yourself a favor, but the whole of humanity a favor. As within, so without. This is sacred work, and the impacts are very real.

Signs You Have Met Your Shadow The entire purpose of this journal is to introduce you to your shadow. If you haven’t consciously explored your shadow self before, it is important that you know what to expect. Please understand that everyone reacts more or less in the same way when encountering their dark side. To empower you with knowledge and perspective, here are some common signs that you have met your shadow while progressing through this journal:

Shadow Work Journal

• You sense a dark/wounded presence • You feel scared • You feel guilt or shame • You want to run or fight • You may go into denial • You may want to project onto/blame others • Old memories resurface • You feel angry • You feel tired/weak • You feel sick to your stomach It is 100% normal to experience any or all of these feelings and desires. Our advice is to practice self-love. Take a break if you feel overwhelmed. Return when you feel better. Then, keep going. With every step you take, you are creating more healing, more wholeness, and more freedom within your entire being.

Meditation and Shadow Work It is important before attempting shadow work to make a distinction between “this is a part of me” versus “this is me.” Please be mindful of falling into the dangerous trap of identifying as your shadow. If intrusive thoughts arise within your mind at any point during your shadow work journaling, please stop and practice meditation. Intrusive thoughts might be of an angry, violent, sexual or hostile nature. Don’t worry, it’s common to experience intrusive thoughts as you become more aware of your shadow. The important thing to remember is that they don’t mean anything about you. They are simply fear-based products of the mind and shadow self that come and go. The form of meditation we recommend doing while progressing through this journal is called vipassana meditation. Vipassana is a form of insight meditation that involves paying attention to your thoughts rise and fall. There are many free videos and online courses that you can take if you have never tried vipassana meditation. We want to highlight again how essential practicing meditation is while undergoing shadow work. Being able to understand the transitory nature of thought will help you to realize that you are not your thoughts. Furthermore, being free from the identification with your thoughts will help you to see that any darkness which arises within you is a transitory facet of your ego self. The more you meditate, the easier it will be to experience your True Nature – that peaceful and whole place within you that transcends the ego self and shadow.

How to Use This Journal In this journal, you will find a series of simple but powerful questions and activities which will help to shine a light on shadowy areas of your life that you might be unaware of. As shadow work should always be preceded by and/or incorporated with self-love, you will find some self-love activities within this journal as well. Shadow work is an extremely deep form of inner work and should not be taken lightly. If you struggle with low self-esteem, we encourage you to focus on the self-love aspects of this journal instead. If at any time you feel intensely uncomfortable or disturbed by any shadow work activities within this journal, please stop immediately and practice self-love. Without self-love, shadow work can easily make you feel a million times worse about yourself. And we don’t want that! So always strive to incorporate self-care and nurturing self-compassion into

Shadow Work Journal

any shadow work activity that you do. Please note that not all questions within this journal will necessarily help you or be applicable. However, do pay close attention if you feel strongly tempted to skip or avoid any question – this is a sign that your shadow self has been provoked! Also be aware that it’s possible for you to project onto another person a quality that they really do possess. Psychologists call this “projecting onto reality.” So for instance, if you think your father is an out-of-control tyrant, you may be simultaneously disowning and projecting your own shadow onto your father as well as seeing him for what he actually is. However, remember that this journal is about taking responsibility for your own shadows, not pointing the finger at others. You cannot change others, but you can change yourself. Let’s leave it at that. You can progress as slowly or as fast as you want through this journal. Don’t feel the need to rush and complete all questions and activities at once unless you feel called to do that. It’s perfectly fine to take your time. Also, don’t feel the need to write long and winding responses, unless of course, you feel the necessity. Even just a few words or sentences is sufficient. You can always add to your insights and reflections later. If you run out of room to write, you can always use the notes section located at the end of this document. Next, you’re welcome to print out this journal as many times as you want or need throughout the course of your journey of self-growth and spiritual development. Doing so will help you reflect on your shadow work progress and write down new interesting discoveries. Ensure that you save this file somewhere on your phone, tablet or desktop for future reference. If you wish to keep this journal private (which in most cases is a good idea) please protect your privacy and find a secret place to store this sensitive information. We cannot emphasize the importance of privacy enough. Once again we repeat: please store this journal in a safe and secure location unless you are happy for someone to read its contents. Keeping this journal private will give you piece of mind and ensure you are uninhibited enough to fully benefit from the following shadow work questions/activities. A part of you might be wondering, why is it worth the effort of completing these journaling prompts? The answer is simple: writing down your thoughts gives you a visual and tangible way of exploring your shadow self. Simply thinking about shadow work doesn’t do enough or create as much change as actively recording your insights. Insights can easily be forgotten. Additionally, recording your thoughts and feelings gives you a point of reference to revisit in the future. Many deep lessons and epiphanies can be integrated more deeply when referring back to them in physical form. Finally, take a few moments to appreciate yourself! You are about to undertake something that requires courage and commitment. Exploring your demons with a kind and open heart is no small feat! Doing shadow work is a sacred gift that you are giving yourself and everyone around you. When you learn to accept all parts of you, you are sending out ripples of change into the world. You might not immediately see it, but keeping a shadow work journal creates a butterfly effect in the world which impacts countless others through your actions. Be proud of yourself for choosing to walk this path! You deserve it. May this journal facilitate deep insight. May you illuminate the dark side of your psyche. May you experience unconditional love, joy, and freedom. With love, Luna & Sol

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 1 - Playing Small a) In what areas of life are you holding back and playing small? (Think about the times you consistently feel weak or small.) Write your answer below. b) Try to put a face and name to the part of you that feels disempowered. What does it look like or sound like? How old is it and where did it come from? What name would it choose to call itself? Record your response below. By personifying this afraid and suppressed part of you, you’ll be more capable of understanding an important part of your shadow self.

7

Shadow Work Journal

8

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 2 - The Saboteur Explore how you play out the following role in real life: The Saboteur (other names: destroyer, serial killer, mad scientist). At the very core of the inner Saboteur festers the desire for complete self-destruction. Fuelled by self-hatred, the Saboteur within us is a wrathful companion that destroys everything beautiful within our lives. Relationships, friendships, careers, health, mental stability — nothing stands in the way of the Saboteur’s desire for self-annihilation and oblivion. How does the Saboteur show up in you? Record your reflections below.

9

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 3 - Negatives and Positives What negatives or positives do others point out about you that you have trouble accepting?

10

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 4 - Emotional Suppression Emotional suppression and repression often point to areas of shame buried within you. Reflect on the following questions and record your answer below: a) What emotions do you rarely express around others? b) When did you first start hiding these emotions?

11

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 5 - Self-Love Letter Self-love activity: Reflect on a period of life where you were at your worst (i.e. most self-destructive, addicted, numb, argumentative, etc.). Write a short, but heartfelt letter of understanding, acceptance, and compassion for that version of you. You can return to this letter later whenever you feel rotten about yourself.

12

Shadow Work Journal

13

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 6 - Hot Buttons What are your “hot buttons” or triggers that cause you to get angry or defensive in the presence of others?

14

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 7 - Family Members a) What qualities in your family members do you most dislike or have trouble dealing with? b) What might these qualities in your loved ones secretly reveal about you?

15

Shadow Work Journal

16

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 8 - Tolerance of Beliefs a) In which areas of life do you tend to expect others to conform to your beliefs? b) What scares you the most about allowing others to have their own beliefs in the above areas?

17

Shadow Work Journal

18

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 9 - Self-Criticism When are you the most critical of yourself? Explore what your self-talk sounds like below.

19

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 10 - Self-Love and Gratitude Self-love activity: Describe five things you love about yourself and feel gratitude about. (Gratitude has been scientifically proven to enhance your happiness and wellbeing – these are important qualities to carry into shadow work.)

20

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 11 - Secrecy What parts of yourself do you keep hidden from your friends or loved ones? Explore why below.

21

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 12 - The Victim Explore how you play out the following role in real life: The Victim (other names: slave, martyr). If you have been genuinely victimized in life, it’s important that you own the title of victim. But when you create an identity surrounding your victimhood, then you suffer tremendously. The biggest problem that the inner Victim brings to our lives is self-pity and disowned personal power. When we don’t take responsibility for our prosperity, bliss, and contentment, our lives seem like a never-ending stream of misery – it can feel as though life is against us. How does the Victim show up in you? Record your reflections below.

22

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 13 - Biggest Fear a) What do you fear losing the most? b) How does your biggest fear influence your decisions, habits, outlooks or relationships?

23

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 14 - Shadow Desires a) Think about something you really want. Write the main reason you desire this person, quality, experience, achievement, or material possession below. b) What shadow motivations might be hiding beneath these desires? Think about what unmet emotional needs you’re secretly trying to fulfill. Record your response.

24

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 15 - Egocentricity In what areas of life are you egocentric, i.e. the world revolves around you and your needs? Be honest with yourself. Explore below.

25

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 16 - Sexuality What areas of sex and sexuality cause you to feel embarrassment, shame, disgust or inadequacy? Why?

26

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 17 - Shadow Letter Give your shadow self a voice. Sit somewhere quiet and focus on your breath for a few minutes. When you are ready, light a candle, mentally envision a circle of protection around you, and tune into your inner ‘dark voice.’ If it helps you to feel more comfortable and protected, you may like to call on any higher forces you believe in to support you such as Spirit, God, Goddess, your Spirit Guides, Higher Self or Soul. Once you feel grounded and supported, ask out loud or in your mind, “Dear Shadow, please talk to me. What would you like to tell me?” We recommend keeping a few loving affirmations ready, just in case you need to use them to counteract any overwhelming negativity that might arise. Close your eyes and write whatever pops into your mind during your shadow journaling and don’t censor any of it! Let it all come out naturally, no matter how scrambled, cryptic, disturbing, offensive or explicit it is – it’s your shadow self, remember! When the words stop flowing and you’re done, blow out the candle, and take a few moments to connect with your heart. How do you feel? Repeat your loving self-affirmations with heartfelt sincerity. Reflect on what your shadow has expressed to you below. What words, concepts or feelings jump out? These will be essential to reflect on and revisit regularly.

27

Shadow Work Journal

28

Shadow Work Journal

29

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 18 - Self-Confidence a) In what situations do you most lack confidence? Write your response below. b) Explore how your childhood upbringing or social conditioning may have contributed to your insecurity. What outdated beliefs about yourself is your inner child still holding on to? Investigate below.

30

Shadow Work Journal

31

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 19 - Self-Beliefs a) Explore something that’s really upsetting, depressing, worrying or frustrating you at the moment about yourself. Record your response below. b) Next, think about what mistaken belief of yours might be contributing to this perceived problem. To complete part (b), you will need to experiment with a basic self-inquiry exercise. The exercise is as follows: keep asking “why?” to the initial problem you wrote about in part (a) and you will eventually uncover your mistaken belief. Here is an example of a worrisome issue someone might explore for part (b): “I feel ugly and fat. Why? Because no one ever compliments me and they always obsess over my best friend. Why? Because I’m overweight. Why? Because I eat too much. Why? Because I feel sad. Why? Because I feel like I’m unworthy of other’s affection.” The statement “I’m unworthy of other’s affection” is the mistaken belief here. Go as deep as you can and keep asking why until you reach an “I am [insert belief here]” statement. Common mistaken beliefs include, “I’m not good enough,” “I am stupid,” “I am unlovable,” “I am bad and deserve to suffer,” “I am ugly,” “I am irredeemably flawed,” and the list goes on. Take your time, explore below, and reflect on your discoveries.

32

Shadow Work Journal

33

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 20 - Flaws List two major flaws of yours that you’re embarrassed about and how they can secretly be strengths. Transforming the negative within you into a source of strength is a form of shadow integration.

34

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 21 - Lying What lies have you recently caught yourself telling – and how do you feel during and after telling them? (There is no right or wrong response here, it’s simply material to reflect on.)

35

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 22 - Punishment When you think of the word “punishment” what thoughts, feelings or images arise – and why? Record your insights below.

36

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 23 - Immaturity a) In what areas of life do you behave immaturely or like a child? Carefully examine every area of your life. Record your response below. b) Next, explore what unmet needs you might be trying to receive by behaving in a childish way.

37

Shadow Work Journal

38

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 24 - Triggers Part 1: Reflect on the past few days. What words, feelings, beliefs, habits, actions or behaviors of others triggered a strong reaction within you? This reaction could have been extremely positive (joy, laughter, admiration) or extremely negative (anger, disgust, hatred). Write down your discoveries below. Part 2: Next to each reaction think about times when you exhibited similar behavior to the person who triggered a strong reaction in you. Be honest and have an open mind.

39

Shadow Work Journal

40

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 25 - The Addict Explore how you play out the following role in real life: The Addict (other names: workaholic, consumer, gambler, glutton, hedonist). Addictions come in many forms. You can be addicted to physical things such as food, alcohol, tobacco, drugs, money and sex. You can be addicted to ideals such as fame, success and beauty. And you can also be addicted to emotions such as the approval, love and acceptance of others. How does the Addict show up in you? Record your reflections below.

41

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 26 - Expressing Anger a) What is your reaction when people express anger? Record your answer below. b) How do you think your upbringing may have influenced your reactions?

42

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 27 - Nasty Intentions What was the last nasty or cruel thing you wanted to say or do to someone in order to make them feel bad? Write down your response and explore your feelings about it.

43

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 28 - Body Pain Reflect on any sources of frequent or chronic pain in your body. What kinds of emotions may be stored within these areas? To begin this activity, connect with the part of your body that hurts, breathe deeply, and relax your mind. Ask your body, “what are you trying to tell me?” or “what do I need to know?” and wait for a response by closing your eyes and tuning in. Record any images, words, scenarios, memories or symbols you receive, below. This exercise can sometimes take a bit of practice, so don’t worry if you come up blank. Just try again when you feel ready. Storing emotional pain in the body is what psychologists call somatization and it can reveal a lot about your buried shadows.

44

Shadow Work Journal

45

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 29 - Intolerance List three things you’re intolerant about in strangers. What shadows do they reveal about you? Explore, ponder, and speculate below.

46

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 30 - Approval What things do you do to secretly gain approval? (Examine areas in your life where you feel good about yourself based on other’s positive reactions.)

47

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 31 - Mirror Work Go to a mirror within your house, close the door so that you have privacy, and stare at yourself. What thoughts or feelings instantly arise as you gaze into your eyes? Reflect on your reactions. Mirror work is a powerful method of coming face-to-face with all that we avoid, reject or deny within ourselves.

48

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 32 - Self-Care Self-love activity: Explore five ways you need to take care of yourself more. Next to each, write down what you plan to do/change in the next couple of weeks to practice self-care.

49

Shadow Work Journal

50

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 33 - Envy What personality quality or trait do you envy in others that you wish you had? (Your response will likely reveal a hidden shadow gift.)

51

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 34 - The Fanatic Explore how you play out the following role in real life: The Fanatic (other names: perfectionist, worrier, control-freak, bigot). The Fanatic is both passionate and driven, but also prone to stubbornness and neuroticism. If your inner Fanatic is imbalanced you might be an obsessive worrier, perfectionist or “control-freak.” The Fanatic’s main concern is control. This can create a lot of tension, health issues and relationship problems. How does the Fanatic show up in you? Record your reflections below.

52

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 35 - Golden Projections Part 1: Think about modern or historical figures you feel irresistibly drawn to and admire. Write them down below. You may be attracted to a number of different artists, athletes, writers, poets, inventors, saint, warriors, fashion icons, modern day celebrities or everyday people present in your life. Next to each role model, mentor, hero or heroine of yours, record what you love the most about them. Take your time, and don’t be afraid to gush or rave to your heart’s abandon about their inspiring attributes or skills – let your words be as unfiltered as possible.

53

Shadow Work Journal

54

Shadow Work Journal

Part 2: Now that you have explored your muses and role models, take some time to reflect. What strengths, gifts, and potentials might you have projected onto these figures that also belong to you? The more you admire someone for something you apparently lack, the more likely you have stumbled across a golden shadow. As previously mentioned in this journal, the shadow self does not solely consist of dark or disturbing content. Our shadows can also contain bright virtues, talents, potentials, and gifts that have been locked away in the dungeon of the unconscious mind during our earlier years – hence why they’re called “golden” shadows. To project means to see in another what we possess. So the next time you idolize someone, ask yourself, “what am I denying in myself that I am instead projecting onto another?” Write down below any talents or gifts that your role models possess that you might also have. Don’t worry if you feel silly or hesitant during this part of your shadow work journaling – this is normal. After all, your ego has been conditioned to think about itself in a certain way, so doing an activity like this will likely trigger denial and skepticism. Simply persist with this activity and try to not allow the inner critic to get overly involved. Contemplate your discoveries.

55

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 36 - Sexual Needs Do you feel comfortable expressing your sexual needs? Why or why not?

56

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 37 - Door of Light Visualization You are about to enter a powerful and potentially life-changing visualization. Please read the following instructions all the way through first to ensure that you’re ready. If you don’t feel ready, simply skip this section and return to it when the time is right. You might choose to either record this visualization on your phone or computer, get a trusted friend or partner to read it out, or memorize it. Find a quiet and undisturbed place, then close your eyes and relax. Focus on your breathing coming in and going out of your body. There is no need to control your breath. Just gently notice yourself breathing and find a comfortable position that will allow you to unwind. As your body falls into a light slumber, your limbs feel heavier and heavier. The words, “deep sleep” enter your mind and repeat over and over again very softly like a mantra. Once you feel completely relaxed, the mantra stops and a doorway appears in your mind’s eye. As the door slowly opens, your vision is filled with pure white light. Suddenly, you feel the irresistible urge to walk towards the door. The closer you get, the more you feel your present sense of self completely vanish. As light fills your vision, old limiting beliefs, habits, and self-concepts begin to dissolve around you in tendrils of dark smoke. You sense that the moment you walk through that door, you will be a completely new person. Can you feel any resistance rise within you? Does any part of you not want to walk through that door of light? What parts of you want to hang on? What voices protest? What do you feel unwilling to let go of? Make mental notes of what you feel, think or see. Are you ready to walk through that doorway? If yes, keep going. Feel the light illuminate, nourish, and heal you. If you don’t feel prepared, imagine the door closing and slowly open your eyes. It’s okay if you don’t feel ready. Be gentle with yourself and realize that you can always return to this activity later. Write in detail below what you experienced, no matter how vague or indescribable. The parts of you that hold back or refuse to let go and transform in the light are aspects of your shadow self.

57

Shadow Work Journal

58

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 38 - Criticism What personality traits do you judge or criticize within your work colleagues or friends? Write them down below. Next, consider how you may possess and condemn the very same traits within yourself.

59

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 39 - Siblings Our siblings are powerful mirrors that reflect back our own undeveloped talents, rejected personality traits, and shadow qualities. If you have siblings, take some time to think about them: a) What is your relationship like with them? b) In what ways do they irritate, provoke, disappoint or otherwise hurt you? Write your responses below. Afterwards, look for any lessons that may be buried beneath your reflections: c) Are there any specific qualities or traits you might be denying within yourself and projecting onto your sibling/s? d) What shadows does the behavior of your brother/sister provoke within you? (Examples might include the shadows of self-righteousness, cruelty, jealousy, vengefulness, petulance, toxic comparison, etc.). Reflect below.

60

Shadow Work Journal

61

Shadow Work Journal

62

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 40 - Inner-Child Letter Self-love activity: 1. With your non-dominant hand, write a small letter to yourself from your inner child. (If you are right-handed, use your left-hand, and vice versa.) Using your non-dominant hand to write can be tricky at first, so it’s perfectly fine to write only a few words if that is easier for you. Otherwise, persist and don’t worry about how messy the words look. Using your non-dominant hand bypasses the rational “adult” part of your brain and taps into the intuitive “childlike” side of your mind. 2. With your dominant hand (i.e. the hand you usually use to write), compose a letter from your adult self to your inner child. Express kindness, care, and any comforting words of affirmation that you’d like to share with your childlike self.

63

Shadow Work Journal

64

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 41 - Culture What culture (ancient or modern) do you admire the most and why? Think about a group, tribe, clan, lineage, culture or society you would love to belong to but one that feels very foreign to you. If you’ve always secretly wanted to be part of a specific race or group of people, record your answer below. Your response may reveal an important aspect of your golden shadow (aka. positive and dormant qualities, gifts or propensities buried within your unconscious mind).

65

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 42 - Attraction Part 1: Think about what you love the most about your romantic partner or a close friend – a quality that immediately attracted or inspired you that you don’t possess. Document your response below.

66

Shadow Work Journal

Part 2: Reflect on the quality/s you just wrote about. Whatever positive trait you chose is likely a golden shadow of yours (i.e. a positive shadow quality) that you were never encouraged to develop. Below, explore how this positive quality was shut down within you as you grew up. For example, if you mentioned how much you love your partner’s artistic abilities, explore how your own inner artist was silenced or rejected growing up.

67

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 43 - The Beggar Explore how you play out the following role in real life: The Beggar (other names: outcast, vagrant). The Beggar archetype within us approaches life from a place of destitution, neediness, and impoverishment. When the Beggar is ruling your life, you will find yourself constantly dependent and reliant on others for your security, happiness and well-being. How does the Beggar show up in you? Record your reflections below.

68

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 44 - Emotions a) Think about an emotion you have trouble facing and keep avoiding. Record your response below. b) What beliefs or fears might be preventing you from facing this difficult emotion?

69

Shadow Work Journal

70

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 45 - Humor Think about your sense of humor. What do you find funny? What types of jokes make you laugh? (Your sense of humor opens a hidden door into the world of your shadow.) Styles of humor often include slapstick, self-deprecation, body-centered (e.g. sexual and toilet jokes), observational (e.g. on society), and dark comedy. What does your sense of humor reveal about an aspect of your shadow self?

71

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 46 - Pathworking Locate a photo of yourself as a child. Try to find a picture of yourself around the age where you learned to speak, and choose a picture of yourself in the distance (if possible) with a neutral facial expression. In this activity you will be experimenting with a technique called pathworking. Pathworking involves mentally projecting yourself into a picture (whether internal or external) and interacting with the people, beings, and environment within it to gain insight. In this case, you will attempt to strike up a conversation with your inner child. Your inner child will be able to shed light on the ways s/he was rejected or constrained growing up and therefore began developing a shadow. To begin this exercise, take a photo of yourself as a child and place it in front of you, preferably at eye level. You can opt to stick the photo to a wall using bluetack or prop it up on an altar or coffee table. Sit down for this exercise and light a candle to symbolize the beginning of your pathworking session. Connect with your breath, relax your body, and feel/imagine the stress of the day melting into the earth below you. Then, once you are ready, gaze gently at the picture of yourself as a child. Let the corners of your vision blurr as you maintain eye contact with the image. After a few minutes you will begin to feel your vision alter, sharpen or gain a dreamlike quality. Just relax and let your vision change. If distracting thoughts come into your mind, gently put them aside. Continue focusing on the picture and your breath. Once you begin to feel your vision gain an altered or dreamlike quality, imagine stepping into the photograph. If this is too difficult, imagine your childlike self springing to life and beginning to walk, run, dance, smile or talk within the photo. Greet your childlike self warmly. Explain your intention in a plain and simple way (e.g. to explore how you/they were hurt the most as a child) and wait for their response. Your inner child may speak to you symbolically or factually. They may express how they feel through movement, action or nonverbally through a facial expression. Whatever the case, thank them warmly for sharing with you and bid them goodbye. (If they aren’t comfortable opening up to you yet, that’s fine. Simply bid your inner child a warm farewell and try this activity at a later date.) End your active imagination session by closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. Return to the room and take a few moments to introspect if necessary. Then, below, record what your inner child communicated to you.

72

Shadow Work Journal

73

Shadow Work Journal

74

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 47 - Impulsivity In what areas of life are you impulsive and regularly regret your actions? Explore below. Your shadow often lurks beneath hasty, impetuous, and offhand decisions.

75

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 48 - Loving Reflection Self-love activity: To begin, you will need to find a mirror, such as the one you have in your bathroom. You can practice the following self-love activity at any moment before, during or after your shadow work. Stand in front of the mirror, ensure that you will be undisturbed (i.e. lock the door), and take a few deep breaths. Stand as close or far away from the mirror as is comfortable. Look gently at yourself. Focus on finding a source of compassion and understanding within your eyes. Imagine that you are looking at yourself through the eyes of your infinitely loving and wise Soul and say, “I love you, thank you for being brave.” Say these words with heartfelt meaning and sincerity. Feel free to hug yourself or shed a few tears if you become emotional. Write down your experience below including any surprising feelings, thoughts or experiences that happen during this mirror work practice.

76

Shadow Work Journal

77

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 49 - Parents What qualities in your parents do you most dislike or have trouble dealing with? What might these qualities secretly reveal about you?

78

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 50 - The Judge Explore how you play out the following role in real life: The Judge (other names: critic, examiner). Everyone has an inner Judge – it is a necessary, fundamental part of life. Without the inner Judge we would make poor decisions, live disconnected from reality, and be incapable of self-reflection. But when the inner Judge is too prominent in our lives, our minds are filled with harsh and critical self-talk and the impulse to condemn others. The inner Judge is a major cause of low self-esteem and is fueled by negative core beliefs and distorted thoughts. How does the Judge show up in you? Record your reflections below.

79

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 51 - Arguments Think about past arguments and fights you’ve had with your partner, exes, friends, children or family members. Recall the nastiest and most serious disagreements and conflicts you’ve had. Write them down below. What were you accused of? As always, approach this activity from a calm and neutral emotional standpoint. (If you find this activity triggers you by making you feel defensive, angry, and so forth, stop at once and do something else. Return when you feel levelheaded and try again.) Can you find any recurring patterns in the gripes and allegations of wrongdoing others have made against you? For example, perhaps you have frequently been accused of being self-absorbed, naggy or deceitful. Write down your thoughts below and ask yourself, “could there be a shred of truth in these accusations?” Be honest.

80

Shadow Work Journal

81

Shadow Work Journal

82

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 52 - Values Part 1: What qualities did your family value the most growing up? Write them below. Part 2: Now, think about the opposite traits of each quality and write them below. The opposite traits you write for this exercise will reveal the collective shadow of your family – i.e. the qualities and traits your family has suppressed and rejected. The shadow of your family is also one of the shadows you have most likely adopted. (For example, if you write hard work, the opposite quality would be laziness.)

83

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 53 - Judgments Part 1 : Take a few moments to think about all the judgmental things you’ve felt, thought, and said the last day. List all that you can think of below. Try to approach this activity neutrally and with an empty mind (in other words, be careful of judging your judgments!).

84

Shadow Work Journal

Part 2: Review all of the critical or self-righteous judgements you’ve just written. Ask yourself, “In what ways do I exhibit the exact same behavior as those I judge?” Write down all the ways you can think of below. For example, if you wrote down that you felt a coworker was being judgy or two-faced towards you, explore how you are judgy and two-faced in your own life.

85

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 54 - Self-Judgment In what ways do you feel judged by others? Write them below. Explore how many of these judgments might actually originate within you first (and are displaced onto others).

86

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 55 - Ego Part 1: What are the most charming and flattering aspects of your social ego – those traits that you would like others to recognize in you?

87

Shadow Work Journal

Part 2: What are the opposite qualities or traits that you have had to repress in order to highlight your positive traits? (These repressed traits likely form parts of your shadow.)

88

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 56 - Blind Spots Get an outside objective perspective on your shadows. Ask a trusted friend or loved one to reveal any blind spots, vices or imperfections you might have that you aren’t aware of. This activity needs to be done with a calm mind, open heart, and thankful spirit. Be careful of jumping to the defence, getting angry or (worst of all) throwing insults or raging at those who are simply trying to help or enlighten you at your request. Be aware that their responses may shock, trigger or catch you off guard, so go prepared to hear the worst! Respect both your courage and theirs for choosing to share. Write down what they reveal about you below. Also record any physical, emotional, or mental reactions that you immediately noticed arise within you after hearing their feedback. Finally, keep in mind that their feedback might be a projection of their own shadow onto you, so ideally ask for feedback from two or three trusted loved ones to get a well-rounded picture. Make sure you thank your loved one/s and give them a hug or kiss to end this activity. If it helps you to feel safe, ask your loved ones for reassurance that they still love and accept you. This activity can sometimes feel a little destabilizing, so find ways to make yourself feel safe and held by those you trust.

89

Shadow Work Journal

90

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 57 - Headlines Imagine that you have appeared on the front page of a prestigious magazine that is read by millions of people worldwide. What three words in the headline would cause you to feel humiliated, shamed, enraged or render you suicidal?

91

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 58 - Dreams Part 1: Our dreams and daydreams are gateways to the shadow self and reveal a lot about what we secretly fear or desire. Write down and summarize any disturbing or unsettling dreams you’ve had recently. Think about people, figures, animals, symbols, objects or scenarios that keep emerging and write them down. Anything that stirs up fear, disgust, shame, anger, grief, guilt or strong emotions is worth recording below. For example, if you regularly fantasize about quitting your job, abandoning your family, and moving to another country, write that down. If you regularly dream about having sexually promiscuous escapades, visiting haunted caves or being chased by demonic figures, write that down.

92

Shadow Work Journal

93

Shadow Work Journal

Part 2: Once you have recorded any troubling or sinister imagery, it’s time to try and unveil the deeper meaning of these dream figures, objects, and scenarios. Below, write down a keyword or key phrase that summarizes each of your disturbing fantasies or dreams that you wrote about on the last page. For example, if you keep having dreams about forgetting to wear your clothes to work and getting humiliated in front of everyone, write “naked work dream.” If you regularly daydream about smashing your mother or father’s head into the wall, writing something like “head-smashing fantasy” will suffice. Record your summarized dreams below (and leave ample space beneath each). Next, you will need to close your eyes and clear your mind. Focus on your breathing for a few moments. When your mind is relaxed, glance at the first shadow dream written about on the last page. Ask yourself internally or out loud, “What does this truly mean?” Close your eyes and wait for immediate responses. If you like, you might like to address your deep mind (also known as your unconscious mind), and ask, “Dear deep mind, please reveal to me the meaning of this dream.” Pay attention to any memories, feelings, thoughts, words, or images that arise in response to your question. Let your mind become open and receptive to anything and everything that wishes to arise, and when something does, write it down below next to each corresponding dream, even if it feels bizarre and irrelevant. You might have to ask your deep mind a number of times to get enough material to work with. Here comes the important question: how can you know when you’ve stumbled across the right interpretation or meaning? The answer is that if at any moment you receive goosebumps, a surge of energy, a sense of recognition or an “aha!” lightbulb moment that lights up your heart and mind, you have stumbled across the right interpretation. Any interpretation that feels dull, dry or flat is most likely not the right meaning. Keep asking your deep mind for guidance until you have formulated explanations that carry a lot of energy and potency.

94

Shadow Work Journal

95

Shadow Work Journal

96

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 59 - Affirmations Self-love activity: Write down three loving affirmations you need to hear the most right now. Explore how each affirmation makes you feel inwardly.

97

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 60 - Shadow Image Sit down in a quiet and undisturbed place. Light a candle to cue to your unconscious mind that you wish to make contact and close your eyes. Connect with your breath for a few minutes. Once you feel grounded, ask to see a picture or image in your mind’s eye that represents your shadow self. Be patient. If no image arises, focus on your in-breath and out-breath for a little while, then try again. Pay attention to any flickers of images that enter your mind and remember that even if the image feels silly, irrelevant or unrelated, it most likely holds value. Draw the image you received below. (Don’t worry if you’re not good at drawing. The whole purpose of this activity is to create a clear representation of your shadow self – not an artistic masterpiece.)

98

Shadow Work Journal

Record how you feel after drawing your shadow image. What do you think it represents? Share any other relevant thoughts or feelings.

99

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 61 - Ancestral Trauma a) Reflect on any dark secrets lurking within your family and ancestral line. Think about what tragedies, scandals, addictions, horrific events or forms of abuse have occurred that your family prefers to suppress, deny or ignore. Record them below.

100

Shadow Work Journal

b) Explore how the ancestral trauma within your family has had a ripple effect on your own physical, emotional, and psychological makeup.

101

Shadow Work Journal

c) Examine how you can put an end to these ancestral shadows once and for all.

102

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 62 - Money Part 1: Let’s explore the shadows lurking underneath your relationship with money. Answer the following questions below. Try not to think about your responses too much, just let them flow out of you naturally. a) When I lack money I … b) When I have lots of money I … c) When someone asks me for money I … d) When the topic of money arises in my relationships I ... Once you have journaled about these questions, do some analysis. Do any of your responses trigger feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassment, anger, or general discomfort? If so, underline the words, sentences, or concepts that put you on edge. Perhaps you will discover that you hoard, waste or ignore money. You might even find that money is tied in with your self-worth more than you thought. Whatever you underline reveals your money shadows.

103

Shadow Work Journal

104

Shadow Work Journal

Part 2: Think about the ways your money shadows have impacted your life. Explore how your financial habits, compulsions or insecurities have tainted your: a) Friendships b) Relationships c) Self-esteem d) Self-fulfillment e) Spirituality Answer below.

105

Shadow Work Journal

106

Shadow Work Journal

107

Shadow Work Journal

Part 3: Finally, explore three ways you can create more financial harmony in your life. Write these ideas down below and consider the easiest ways to actively incorporate them into your life across the next two months. Remember, it takes about 60 days to create a habit, so think about actionable tasks you can take every day to reverse the impact of your shadow’s perception of money. Remember: money itself isn’t evil. Money is simply a symbolic medium of exchange. Instead, it is our relationship with money that is the issue.

108

Shadow Work Journal

Exercise 63 - Spirituality Think carefully about your spiritual practice. Identify areas, beliefs, or mindsets that cause you to: 1. Feel special or “better” than others 2. Focus too much on yourself (i.e. self-absorption) 3. Focus too much on others (i.e. self-sacrifice) 4. Pretend to be someone you’re not 5. Avoid or escape from reality 6. Feel dependent on another for your well-being or wisdom (e.g. a spiritual teacher, yogi, psychic, mentor) 7. Look down on “asleep” or “unconscious” people 8. Only feel validated rather than challenged to grow 9. Stop questioning and thinking for yourself Record your reflections below. The shadow side of spirituality is real and alive despite what many would like to believe. The reality is that if we’re not mindful and discerning, we can easily fall into the traps of spiritual bypassing (or using spirituality to avoid reality), spiritual narcissism, spiritual codependency, cult-mentality, and spiritual pride. If you find this activity particularly confronting, don’t worry. Most people do. After all, for many people, spirituality is the only place that feels safe and like home. Not only that, but we tend to associate spirituality solely with love and light. Even so, the shadow is pervasive and can creep into all areas of life. This is important to understand and face with honesty and courage. If at any point you notice yourself becoming defensive, anxious, or restless during this activity, by all means take a break. Practice self-love. Then, return again when you feel ready. You can do this!

109

Shadow Work Journal

110

Shadow Work Journal

111

Shadow Work Journal

Notes

112

Shadow Work Journal

113

Shadow Work Journal

114

Shadow Work Journal

115

Shadow Work Journal

116

Shadow Work Journal

117

Shadow Work Journal

Bibliography Brown, Jeff. 2011. Soulshaping: A Journey of Self-Creation. North Atlantic. Caplan, Mariana. 2009. Eyes Wide Open: Cultivating Discernment on the Spiritual Path. Sounds True. Ford, Debbie. 2002. “The Shadow Process.” Soulful Living. http://www.soulfulliving.com/the_shadow_process.htm. Jesso, James W. 2013. Decomposing The Shadow: Lessons From the Psilocybin Mushroom. SoulsLantern Publishing. Johnson, Robert A. 2013. Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche. HarperCollins. Jung, C. G. 2015. The Quotable Jung. Princeton University Press. Kiloby, Scott. 2014. Reflections of the One Life: Daily Pointers to Enlightenment. Non-Duality Press. Meyer, Marvin, and Harold Bloom. 2004. The Gospel of Thomas: The Hidden Sayings of Jesus. HarperOne. Miller, Henry. 2015. The World of Sex. Penguin Books. Mistlberger, P. T. 2014. The Inner Light: Self-Realisation Via the Western Esoteric Tradition. Axis Mundi Books. Monbourquette, John. 2001. How to Befriend Your Shadow: Welcoming Your Unloved Side. Novalis Press. Plotkin, Bill. 2003. Soulcraft: Crossing into the Mysteries of Nature and Psyche. New World Library. Plotkin, Bill. 2013. Wild Mind: A Field Guide to the Human Psyche. New World Library. Rilke, Rainer Maria. 1993. Letters to a Young Poet. W. W. Norton & Company. Vaughan-Lee, Llewellyn. 1995. Sufism: The Transformation of the Heart. The Golden Sufi Center. Zweig, Connie, and Steve Wolf. 1999. Romancing the Shadow: A Guide to Soul Work for a Vital, Authentic Life. Ballantine Books.

Shadow Work Journal

About the Authors Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious cult she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a psychospiritual counselor and professional writer, Luna’s mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. Mateo Sol is a prominent psychospiritual teacher whose work has influenced the lives of thousands of people worldwide. Born into a family with a history of drug addiction, abuse, and mental illness, Mateo Sol was taught about the plight of the human condition from a young age. As a spiritual counselor and mentor, Sol’s mission is to help others experience freedom, wholeness, and peace in any stage of life. Together, Luna and Sol run the popular spiritual self-discovery website lonerwolf.com. Their mission is to help others walk the path less traveled and listen to the soul’s calling.

Love this journal? Take a picture and share your progress on Instagram using the hashtags #shadowworkjournal and tag us: @lonerwolfpath