Remittance of Thai Female Marriage Migrants in Germany: Motives, Challenges, and Family Relationships 3658416858, 9783658416850

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Kusuma Haklin

Remittance of Thai Female Marriage Migrants in Germany Motives, Challenges, and Family Relationships

Remittance of Thai Female Marriage Migrants in Germany

Kusuma Haklin

Remittance of Thai Female Marriage Migrants in Germany Motives, Challenges, and Family Relationships

Kusuma Haklin Mainz, Germany

ISBN 978-3-658-41685-0 ISBN 978-3-658-41686-7 (eBook) https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-658-41686-7 © The Editor(s) (if applicable) and The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Fachmedien Wiesbaden GmbH, part of Springer Nature 2023 This work is subject to copyright. All rights are solely and exclusively licensed by the Publisher, whether the whole or part of the material is concerned, specifically the rights of translation, reprinting, reuse of illustrations, recitation, broadcasting, reproduction on microfilms or in any other physical way, and transmission or information storage and retrieval, electronic adaptation, computer software, or by similar or dissimilar methodology now known or hereafter developed. The use of general descriptive names, registered names, trademarks, service marks, etc. in this publication does not imply, even in the absence of a specific statement, that such names are exempt from the relevant protective laws and regulations and therefore free for general use. The publisher, the authors, and the editors are safe to assume that the advice and information in this book are believed to be true and accurate at the date of publication. Neither the publisher nor the authors or the editors give a warranty, expressed or implied, with respect to the material contained herein or for any errors or omissions that may have been made. The publisher remains neutral with regard to jurisdictional claims in published maps and institutional affiliations. This Springer VS imprint is published by the registered company Springer Fachmedien Wiesbaden GmbH, part of Springer Nature. The registered company address is: Abraham-Lincoln-Str. 46, 65189 Wiesbaden, Germany

Acknowledgements

This dissertation would have been impossible without the aid and support of the German Research Foundation (Deutsche Forschungsgemeinschaft, DFG), who funded this doctoral research and provided me with the great opportunity to be a PhD candidate in this program. The funding has more than a financial meaning to me. It is a liberation in light of academic education, academic identity, cultural realization, learning experiences, and shaping my personality and perspectives of the world and our contemporary society. Being accepted as a PhD candidate, for me, was definitely a life-changing experience in terms of academic career and personal development. Secondly, I would like to express my sincere gratitude to Prof. Dr. Cornelia Schweppe, my supervisor and academic role-model, for her academic guidance, support, and mentorship during the years of my PhD research. In the academic term, she taught me to become a qualified researcher. I learned to uphold an objective perspective towards different cultures, societies, people’s perspectives, and their choices in life. I learned to respect and prioritize my researched participants’ right of privacy. I enhanced my research skills under her supervision. Personally, I deeply thank her for always believing in me. The way she was interested in and valued my dissertation motivated me to put more effort and commitment into my research project. I believe I could not have found a better supervisor than her and I feel truly thankful. I also would like to profoundly thank all my fellow PhD colleagues and staff at the Research Center for Transnational Social Support for the academic support reserved for me. I learned so much from their academic knowledge and experience. I dare say that it has obviously developed my academic and personal identities throughout the time that we have spent together.

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Acknowledgements

Importantly, this dissertation would have been impossible without the committed participation of the Thai married female migrants in Germany who kindly agreed to share their personal life stories to me. I truly appreciated their trust and sacrifice. Knowing them and learning about their lives over the course of this research has changed my view of this world completely. They indirectly taught me to be a better person and to widen my perspectives towards the lives of others through their different ways of living, life choices, and hidden motivations of existence. I cherish their participation, support, and acquaintances as always. Finally, I wish to thank all the beloved people who have warmly supported me. First is my grandmother, who is truly my inspiration and strength. Second is my Thai professor, Mrs. Pimmas Tapanya, who enthusiastically believes in my academic capacity and pushes me to do the best in every research process. Third is my dearest friend, Mrs. Anh Nguyet Diep, who undoubtfully believes in me more than I believe in myself and always supports me. Last, but not least, to my most important person, my mother, the strongest woman in my life, I thank her for always being by my side. I could not have come this far without her.

Abstract

Remittances of Thai female married migrants have been one of the recognized conflicts among Thai-German spouses for a long time. However, the issue of remittance has only been partially debated and clarified as the economic support of Thai wives towards their natal families in Thailand. This study analyzes the determinants that influence Thai migrant wives to send remittances to their natal families and investigates the impact of remitting on both their marital and origin family relationships. The study acquired primary data from the eight key informants by a case study research approach, and supportive information from secondary informants who were personally related to the key informants over a period of 36 months, from June 2016 until June 2019. Data collection methods included interviews (in-depth and focus group) and observations (both non-participant and participant). The findings revealed that the financial aspect is the least significant reason for sending remittances among Thai wives in Germany. The remittance practice appears to be an adoption of a cultural gratitude belief deeply rooted in Thai wives’ mentality. Thai women reported having remitted to their parents before they married and maintained this practice as a particular way to perform their decent child’s duty towards their parents while living abroad. Remitting also carried a symbolic meaning of love and care underpinned by the concept of a gratitude culture. Remittance was a mandatory practice for all Thai wives, but it became a significant conflict within their married life. It was not money that was found to be central to this conflict but the cultural discrepancy between Thai-German couples. Their different views of the meaning of remittance led them to have opposite expectations. The remittance conflict between couples also affected their relationship with the parents-in-law of both sides due

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Abstract

to cultural differences. Importantly, this practice could be transmitted to the next generation by childrearing and support of bi-cultural parents. Thai-German couples agreed to raise their children to adopt the values of the gratitude culture, which effectively passes on the positive conceptualization of remitting to their children on the basis of a belief in cultural gratitude.

Contents

1 Introduction and Overview . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1.1 Background and Significance of the Problem . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1.2 Research Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1.3 Research Objectives . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1.4 Expected Benefits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1.5 Scope of the Study . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1.6 Chapter Review . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

1 1 5 5 5 6 6

2 Literature Review . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2.1 The Statistical Situation of Thai Wives in Germany . . . . . . . . . . . 2.2 Study Direction of Transnational Thai Wives in Germany . . . . . . 2.2.1 Poverty as the Main Motive of Marriage Migration . . . . . 2.2.2 The Thai Wives’ Perspective: Confronting Difficulties after Migration . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2.2.3 Remitting as the Main Conflict among Transnational Marriage Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2.2.4 The ‘New Generation’ of Thai Wives in Germany . . . . . . 2.3 The Strength of Remittance Growth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2.4 Various Motives for Remittance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2.5 Remittances and Transnational Female Migrants . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2.6 Remittances and Transnational Female Marriage Migrants . . . . . 2.7 Remittance Trends in Germany . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

9 9 13 13

3 Research Methodology . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.1 Research Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.2 Rationale for the Qualitative Case Study Methodology . . . . . . . . 3.3 Triangulation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

15 17 19 21 23 26 27 29 31 31 32 34

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3.4 Data Collection . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.4.1 Observation Method . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.4.2 Interview Method . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.5 Case Selection . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.5.1 Case Selection Criteria . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.5.2 Case Selection Strategies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.5.3 Determining the number of cases . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.6 Data Analysis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.7 Ethical Practices . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.8 Position of the Researcher . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.9 Limitations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

38 40 43 47 47 50 59 60 63 64 64

4 Background Information . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4.1 Part 1: The Data Tables of the Eight Cases’ Background Information . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4.2 Part 2: Life Stories . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4.2.1 Case 1: Tulip . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4.2.2 Case 2: Daisy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4.2.3 Case 3: Rose . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4.2.4 Case 4: Jasmine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4.2.5 Case 5: Orchid . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4.2.6 Case 6: Poppy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4.2.7 Case 7: Lotus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4.2.8 Case 8: Lilly . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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5 The Reasons for Sending Remittance Home . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.1 In the Beginning: Remitting Happening Before Marriage . . . . . . 5.2 Remittance Agreement is a Condition of Marriage . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.3 Reasons for Remitting of Thai Wives after Marriage Migration . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.3.1 Thai Cultural Motives: Gratitude Belief, Reciprocation, and Child Obligation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.3.2 Psychological Motives: Love and Care . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.3.3 Economical Drive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 The Impact of Remittance on Family Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.1 Part 1: Thai Wife Migrants and their Natal Family . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.1.1 Maintaining the Parents-Daughter Relationship: Cultural Practice Expectation and Proof of Care . . . . . . . .

68 73 73 75 77 79 82 85 87 90 93 94 95 98 99 118 122 125 126 126

Contents

6.1.2 Family Relationship and Family Socioeconomic Status . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.1.3 Parents are Central to the Family Relationship . . . . . . . . . 6.2 Part 2: Thai Wife Migrants and their Marriage Relationships . . . 6.2.1 Relationship Before Marriage: the Thai Women Stigma, Money Issues, and Remittance Awareness . . . . . . 6.2.2 Remittance Requirement: Doubtfulness of Love, Acceptability, and Marriage Purpose . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.2.3 Remittances Shaping Marriage Relationship Patterns . . . . 7 Remittance and Relationship With Parents-in-Law . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.1 Thai Migrant Wives and Relationship with German Parents-in-Law . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.1.1 Importance of Parents-in-Law . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.1.2 Connecting to the New Society . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.1.3 Authority in Relationship . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.1.4 Reputation of Thai Migrant Wives and Duty Expectation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.1.5 Limited Financial Status and Remittance Demanding . . . 7.1.6 Cultural Influence, Essence of Extended Marriage Family, Relationship Maintenance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.2 German Son-in-Law and Thai Wife’s Family . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.2.1 Loose Bonding with Thai Parents-in-Law . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.2.2 Remittance as Prejudice Against Thai Parents-in-Law . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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130 137 140 140 146 151 163 164 164 165 166 168 171 178 183 183 187

8 Transmission of the Remittance Behavior . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8.1 Domination of ‘Gratitude’ Culture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8.2 Husband’s Support: Thai-style Children Preferable . . . . . . . . . . . . 8.3 Interaction with Thai Community and Thai Family . . . . . . . . . . . .

191 192 195 199

9 Conclusion and Recommendation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9.1 Conclusion of the Research . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9.2 Limitations of the Study . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9.3 Recommendations for Future Research . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

203 203 210 211

Bibliography . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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List of Figures

Figure 2.1 Figure 2.2

Figure 2.3

Figure 2.4

The number of Thai male and female migrants in Germany between 2000 and 2020 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Comparison between the total number of Thai female migrants in Germany and the number of Thai female migrants with marriage status in Germany between 2005 and 2020 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Comparison of the total number of Thai married female migrants in Germany and the number of Thai female migrants married to a German citizen in Germany between 2005 and 2020 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The global growth of Remittance flows to lowand middle-income countries between 1990 and 2019 . . . . . .

10

11

12 22

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List of Tables

Table Table Table Table Table Table Table

3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 3.6 3.7

Table 3.8 Table 3.9 Table 3.10 Table 3.11 Table 3.12 Table Table Table Table Table

3.13 3.14 3.15 4.1 4.2

Table 4.3 Table 4.4

Triangulation Methods Description . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Triangulation Methods Utilized in the Study . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Data Collection Methods . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Information for Non-Participant Observation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Information for Participant Observation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . In-Depth Interview Dates of the Eight Chosen Cases . . . . . . . Information for In-Depth Interviews of Family Members of the Chosen Cases . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Information on the In-Depth Interview of Experts in the Field of Thai Migrants in Germany . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Information on Focus Group Interviews . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The criteria for case selection . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Two Stages of the Purposeful Sampling Strategies for Case Study Selection . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Summary of the number of voluntary informants by means of the purposeful sampling strategies . . . . . . . . . . . Participants from the Maximum Variation Sampling . . . . . . . Five groups of participants and their socio-demographics . . . The chosen cases from the stratified purposeful sampling . . . The Pseudonyms of the Eight Cases . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Personal Background and Remittance Information Before Marriage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Personal and Remittance Information after Migrating to Germany . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Marriage Family Information and Agreement of Remittance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

35 36 39 41 42 43 45 45 46 50 51 53 55 57 59 68 69 70 71

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1

Introduction and Overview

1.1

Background and Significance of the Problem

The movement of Thai migrants to Germany for working purposes emerged in the early 1960s (Mix & Piper, 2003; Ruenkaew, 2009). In the beginning of the migration phase, the number of Thai male and female migrants was similar (Federal Statistical Office of Germany, 2022). However, when Germany announced the strict regulation of visa requirements in 1990, the number of Thai female migrants dramatically increased and has continued to increase to the present day (Federal Statistical Office of Germany, 2022). After the reunification in 1990, the migration scheme of Thai female migrants has changed from labor to family formation and reunification. For Thai women wishing to obtain a residence permit, marrying a German citizen appeared to be a better alternative (Mix & Piper, 2003; Kontos & Shinozaki, 2007; Ruenkaew, 2009). The research body on Thai female migrants in Germany also changed with the transformation of the migration scheme. In the early era of Thai migration in Germany, before the 1990s, the issues of sex-trafficking and socio-economic status of Thai women were the focus. Then, after the 1990s, research concentrated on marriage motives and marital relationships among Thai women in Germany. Even though the interest in Thai female migrant studies was different between the two periods, the findings on these topics concerning Thai female migrants in Germany were quite similar. In both eras, before and after 1990, studies revealed that the intention to migrate among Thai female migrants was largely related to their socio-economic status (Hambeek, 1994; Niesner, et al, 1997; Chantavanich, et al, 2001; Ruenkaew, 2003; 2009; 2014; Mix & Piper, 2003; Duangkumnerd, 2007; Sinsuwan, 2017). Thai women who migrated to Germany mostly came from a low

© The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Fachmedien Wiesbaden GmbH, part of Springer Nature 2023 K. Haklin, Remittance of Thai Female Marriage Migrants in Germany, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-658-41686-7_1

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Introduction and Overview

or low-middle economic status family, had a low education level, and had difficulties securing a job with sufficient income to support themselves and their families in Thailand. They migrated to Germany in order to escape their social limitations and constraints in their homeland and to seek a better opportunity in terms of living conditions, education, and work opportunities. Thai female migrants who entered Germany before 1990 with an employment visa were involved in financial flows between the sending and destination countries in terms of monetary transactions (Hambeek, 1994; Niesner, et al, 1997; Mix & Piper, 2003). However, Thai female migrants who permanently moved to Germany via marriage also played an active role in fostering remittance flows to their origin country (Chantavanich, et al, 2001; Ruenkaew, 2003; 2009; 2014; Mix & Piper, 2003; Sinsuwan, 2017). In Germany, the understanding of sending remittances among female migrants is highly limited due to the gender role of remittance contributions, which prioritized male migrants over female migrants. This was in accordance with the findings from the federal statistical report that male migrants remitted more than female migrants (The Federal Statistical Office, 2010). Certainly, the study of remittances among female married migrants has not received sufficient attention. Even though a few scholars have shown that female married migrants contributed their remittances towards their extended natal families in their homeland, these studies are still insufficient to clarify the remitting behaviors, motivations, and patterns among these migrants. The remittance practice of Thai female married migrants has been noted in findings from previous studies, even though it was not the main focus of research (Hambeek, 1994; Niesner, et al, 1997; Chantavanich, et al, 2001; Mix & Piper, 2003; Ruenkaew, 2003; 2009; 2014; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Sinsuwan, 2017). This practice has been identified as one of the main causes of serious conflict among Thai-German married couples, which they have been unable to resolve. The remittance behavior of Thai migrant wives created an issue of distrust among many Thai-German couples, which then naturally led them to confront a fragile intimacy relationship later. German husbands were often opposed to sending remittances to their Thai wife’s natal family, viewing it as a financial burden to their marital family, so that either they or their wives took sole responsibility for it. In contrast, Thai migrant wives insisted on continuing their remittance to support their natal families (Chantavanich, et al, 2001; Ruenkaew, 2003;2009; 2014; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Suksomboon, 2009; Sinsuwan, 2017). Recent findings have revealed that the remittance behavior of Thai migrant wives in Germany may be considered as a consequence of their socio-economic background and marriage migration motivation, which was mostly observed

1.1 Background and Significance of the Problem

3

among Thai migrant wives who came from an inferior financial background and who provided remittances to their natal families (Chantavanich, et al., 2001; Ruenkaew, 2009; 2014; Duangkumnerd; 2009; Sinsuwan, 2017). Poverty happened to be an important determinant to prompt Thai female migrants with an inferior socio-economic status into marriage migration and remittance transmission. In the same vein, recent scholars (Ruenkaew, 2009; 2014; Sinsuwan, 2017) have referred to Thai female married migrants who came from superior backgrounds, i.e., having a high education level, family socio-economic status, decent previous career, and integration skills, as a new generation of Thai migrant wives in Germany. These migrants did not send remittances to their origin families because the latter had no financial need for it. Further, they were inclined to share responsibility for household expenses with their German spouses once they settled into their life and started their new career in Germany. It seems that financial difficulties can be a significant factor that crucially determines whether Thai migrant wives will become remittance transmitters, even taking dominance over their marital relationship and migration status (Chantavanich, et al, 2001; Mix & Piper, 2003; Ruenkaew, 2003;2009; 2014; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Suksomboon, 2009; Sinsuwan, 2017). However, can we be certain of this when the topic has received so little attention? What other determinants and motives have been investigated? Apart from the findings that confirmed remittance practices among Thai female marriage migrants in Germany, Suksomboon (2009) studied Thai female marriage migrants in the Netherlands and discovered that those from families with a mid- to high- financial status also sent remittances to their natal families via different means. They provided expensive presents and high amounts of cash instead of regular allowances. Moreover, their motivation for remitting was different to those who came from families with an inferior financial status. They remitted in order to express their love and care for their origin families, not with the purpose of improving their natal families’ living standards. From an economic perspective it is reasonable to focus on the financial demand of migrants’ natal families as a significant variable in remittance motivation. However, there are many determinants that can contribute to the remittance decisions among migrants, such as demographics, geography, culture, religion, agreement between migrants and their origin families, and self-interest (Lucas & Stark, 1985; Stark, 1985; Funkhouser, 1995; Taylor, 1999). In order to understand the motives for remitting, it is important to study the origin backgrounds, cultures, and the role of remittances from the migrants’ perspectives, not the action of the migrants and the quantity of remittance flows (Taylor, 1999). Furthermore, regarding gender stereotypes, previous scholars discovered that female migrants

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Introduction and Overview

were more likely than male migrants to remit motivated by pure altruism, and were inclined to remit for longer periods than male migrants (Lucas & Stark, 1985; Curran, 1995; Osaki, 1999; Orozco, Lowell, & Schneider, 2006; Deelen & Vasuprasat, 2010). As the understanding of remittance motivation and behaviors among Thai female married migrants in Germany had been narrowed to the consequences of monetary support and the socio-economic background of migrants, the present study attempted to verify the strong testimony that socio-economic status was a significant determinant in remittance motivation among Thai migrant wives in Germany, and also explored other plausible determinants. The focus of this research was on the remittance practice of Thai female migrants who married German men and permanently migrated to Germany with their marital family. It aimed to acquire a deep understanding of their remitting action in terms of motivations, behavior patterns, and impact on their families, both natal and marital. Additionally, it sought to investigate the differences and similarities of Thai female migrant wives from different socio-economic background regarding their attitudes, behaviors, roles, and motivations for remitting. This study employed a qualitative case study research design to investigate the remittance phenomenon among Thai female married migrants in Germany. The data was collected using multiple methods and sources, including in-depth interviews and focus group interviews, with participant- and non-participant observation. There were in total eight key informants in this study, along with secondary participants who were related to the key informants and who voluntarily agreed to share personal information and experiences concerning their remittance situation through focus-group interviews. Furthermore, the study included interviews with Thai experts who had been working with Thai migrants in Germany, to providing another angle of knowledge and viewpoints on remittance. The duration of data collection was long, with the purpose of allowing enough time to build up trust and a positive relationship with the participants, both key and secondary informants, to motivate full involvement from all participants, and to ensure that the researcher would have sufficient time to collect multiple in-depth interviews along with more opportunities to collect data via observation methods. In total, it took over 36 months, from June 2016 until June 2019.

1.4 Expected Benefits

1.2

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Research Questions

There are two main research questions addressed in this study: 1. Why do transnational Thai wives decide to remit to their natal families in Thailand? 2. How do remittance behaviors of transnational Thai wives affect their family relationships, both with their natal family in Thailand and with their marriage family in Germany?

1.3

Research Objectives

The present study aimed to investigate the remittance motivations and determinants of Thai female marriage migrants in Germany in order to obtain an in-depth understanding of internal and external factors that influenced their decision to send remittances. Another objective of the research was to study the impact of remittance decisions and practices of Thai migrant wives on both their natal and marital family relationships, along with their feelings, opinions, and management towards their relationship conflict patterns. Furthermore, this study examined the differences and similarities of remittance practices between Thai female marriage migrants who come from superior and inferior socio-economic backgrounds in order to clarify the impact of the monetary factor.

1.4

Expected Benefits

It is essential to understand the remittance practices of Thai female married migrants in Germany from both a sociological and economical perspective. An investigation of the core motivations and influencing factors would help us to understand the relationship between migrants and their original extended families in their homeland, and to clarify the meaning of remittances from the point of view of Thai migrant wives and their natal families, which is possibly related to the remittance demand of Thai natal families in terms of amount and duration. Furthermore, it would yield a greater understanding of marital relationships among Thai-German spouses in terms of financial empowerment and arrangement within bi-cultural marital families, and provide acknowledgements as to how Thai-German spouses perceive the importance and meaning of remittances, and in which dimensions. Economically, the findings regarding the possible factors

6

1

Introduction and Overview

that motivate Thai migrant wives to remit would help to predict the approximate amount, duration, and patterns of remittances of these female migrants, as well as the source of their remittance.

1.5

Scope of the Study

As the objective is to clarify and enhance the understanding of the remittance practice and its impact on family relationships among Thai female marriage migrants in Germany, the present study aimed to acquire primary data from Thai migrant wives who married German men and who permanently live in Germany with their marital family. In total, eight key informants participated in this study and each informant took part in at least two in-depth interview sessions. Further, this study included supporting data from related persons with the purpose of extending and understanding the Thai migrant wife informants’ stories and experiences, along with interviews with Thai experts who are familiar with Thai female migrants in Germany. This study is restricted to data collection mainly within Germany and partly in Thailand over a period of time ranging from June 2016 until June 2019.

1.6

Chapter Review

Following this first introductory chapter, this dissertation is divided into nine additional chapters. Chapter 2 briefly outlines the history of Thai female migrants from the 1960s until the present, as well as the transformation of immigration entry categories and forms. A statistical report of Thai female migrant numbers in Germany is presented to illuminate the imbalance in numbers of Thai female and male migrants in Germany along with the tendency of an increasing number of Thai female migrants in the marriage visa category. Following an overview of previous studies on Thai migrant wives in Germany, the focal interests and directions of that research have been drawn out in order to underline the limited views adopted on the topic of remittance. To understand the various motivations behind the remittance practice, the findings of previous studies that cited reasons for remittance besides poverty or economical drive are presented. Chapter 3 elaborates on the research methodology employed in this study, i.e., a qualitative case study research design. It explains why and how this research method was used, and also presents the sampling methods, case selection, data

1.6 Chapter Review

7

collection, data analysis, and limitations of this dissertation. As the study collected data from human participants, ethical issues were a primary concern, necessitating an explanation of the ethical practices used. Additionally, the position of the researcher is clarified in terms of their relationship with the participants and their role in the field during the process of acquiring data. Chapter 4 provides background information for the eight key informants of this study. The information comprises their personal information, natal family background and relationship, marital family (which includes their German husband and children), along with their life stories and experiences with financial support and remittances towards their natal family. Chapter 5 presents the empirical findings that illustrate the reasons for remittances among Thai female migrants after they married and moved to Germany, addressing the first research question of this study. There were three main reasons for sending remittances according to the empirical results of this study, which consist of Thai cultural, psychological, and economical motives. Furthermore, a brief introduction is provided to explain the remittance practice of Thai migrant wives and how they perceived their monetary support towards their natal family before they married, along with how they managed to discuss and negotiate the topic of sending remittances to their natal family with their German husband. Chapter 6 narratively indicates the impact of remittance practice on the family relationship of Thai migrant wives, corresponding to the second research question of this study. The empirical results are divided into two main parts. First is the impact of remittances on the relationship between Thai migrant wives and their natal family in Thailand. Second is the effect of remitting practice on Thai migrant wives and their marital relationship. This chapter also demonstrates the similarities and differences between Thai female migrants with superior and inferior backgrounds concerning their remittance demand and relationship management. Chapter 7 examines the effects of remittances on the relationship with parentsin-law of both Thai migrant wives and their German spouses. The results are explained separately in two parts; first is the relationship between Thai migrant wives and their German parents-in-law, and second is the relationship between German husbands and their Thai parents-in-law. This chapter also reveals the differences in relationship patterns, conflicts, and management between Thai female migrants and their German spouses towards their parents-in-law, along with the different perspectives and expectations of remittances between Thai and German parents-in-law. Chapter 8 demonstrates the empirical findings regarding the transmission of remittance practices among Thai-German parents and their bi-cultural children.

8

1

Introduction and Overview

It describes the parenting agreement patterns of Thai-German married couples that prompted their offspring to accept remittances. Further, the determinants that influenced the Thai-German children to maintain the remittance behavior are elaborated. Chapter 9 summarizes the findings of the study and discusses its limitations and recommendations for future research.

2

Literature Review

2.1

The Statistical Situation of Thai Wives in Germany

The migration movement of Thai women to Germany began in the early 1960s, at the same time as Thai men (Ruenkaew, 2009; Federal Statistical Office of Germany, 2022). At the beginning of the migration era, the number of Thai males and females living in Germany was roughly equal. In the study of Ruenkaew (2009), there were approximately 2,000 Thais living in Germany in 1975, of which 1,004 were men and 988 women. From the 1960s to the 1990s, the number of Thais in Germany increased dramatically due to relaxed immigration regulations and high demand for cheap migrant labor in West Germany, which attracted migrants with low education to move there as temporary workers (Mix & Piper, 2003; Ruenkaew, 2009). The main reason for migration to Germany for both genders was to work in order to earn better wages. The types of work differed by gender: Thai men mostly worked in the construction sector, while the majority of women were involved in the entertainment sector and prostitution (Mix & Piper, 2003; Ruenkaew, 2003). However, the situation of Thai migrants in Germany changed significantly after the historical fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989. After reunification in 1990, Germany reduced the entry categories of those willing to migrate to Germany, which greatly affected the pattern of migration. The immigration regulations became stricter and more restrictive for those who wanted to migrate for labor work. Marriage became an accessible channel for Thai migrants to stay or migrate to Germany (Mix & Piper, 2003; Ruenkaew, 2003; 2009). The numbers of Thai male and female migrants in Germany after 1990 became considerably imbalanced. The number of Thai women in Germany was substantially higher than that of Thai men. Moreover, the number of Thai women entering © The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Fachmedien Wiesbaden GmbH, part of Springer Nature 2023 K. Haklin, Remittance of Thai Female Marriage Migrants in Germany, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-658-41686-7_2

9

10

2

Literature Review

Germany was rapidly rising every year, unlike the number of Thai men, which remained stably low. Statistical records of Thai migrants in Germany from the Federal Statistics Office of Germany revealed that the numbers of Thai male and female migrants in Germany between 2000 and 2020 represents a wide gap.

51.810

51.570

51.760 7.365

51.415 7.405

7.560

51.325 7.435

51.165

51.211 7.573

50.926

7.662

50.361

7.712

49.502

7.694

48.626

47.780

7.576

47.052

7.569

46.462 7.514

7.550

45.459

43.863

41.780

41.355

7.436

40.000

35.179

50.000

32.031

60.000

38.528

70.000

7.549

Thai Populaons in Germany from 2000 to 2020

7.260

7.245

7.381

6.929

6.341

10.000

5.802

20.000

7.009

30.000

0 2000

2002

2004

2006

2008 Thai Male

2010

2012

2014

2016

2018

2020

Thai Female

Figure 2.1 The number of Thai male and female migrants in Germany between 2000 and 2020. (Note. Federal Statistical Office of Germany. (2022). Retrieved from https://www.des tatis.de/GPStatistik/receive/DESerie_serie_00000018?List=all)

As presented in Figure 2.1, the numbers of male and female migrants from Thailand were extremely imbalanced during the last decade. The statistical report indicates a rapidly growing number of Thai women. Accordingly, the Federal Statistics Office of Germany predicted the number of Thai women in Germany to continually rise in the future (Federal Statistical Office of Germany, 2022). Thus, after 1990 Thai female migrants mostly migrated to Germany via a marriage visa. Kontos and Shinozaki (2007) conducted an analysis of the integration of ‘new’ female migrants in Germany and explored whether the majority of women immigrants had immigrated for the purpose of family formation or reunification rather than labor migration, compared to the 1990s, especially those who married or moved to Germany to marry a German citizen to obtain a residence permit. They also ranked the nationalities of all female immigrants in Germany. The

2.1 The Statistical Situation of Thai Wives in Germany

11

predominant nationalities were Turkey, the Russian Federation, Morocco, and Thailand. Thai migrant women with a German marital status outnumbered Thai single women, as revealed by The Federal Statistics Office of Germany (2022). The indicated number showed that the number of Thai women with a marital status was 50% higher than the total number of Thai women in Germany between 2005 and 2020, as presented in Figure 2.2.

51.810 35.185

51.760 35.540

51.570 33.915

51.415 34.195

51.325 34.420

51.211 34.448

51.165 34.479

50.926 34.464

50.361 34.049

49.502 33.651

48.626 33.143

47.780 32.681

32.148

46.462 31.837

45.459 30.968

40.000

29.580

50.000

43.863

60.000

47.052

The total number of Thai women in Germany and the number of Thai women with marriage status in Germany from 2005 to 2020

30.000 20.000 10.000 0 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 Thai women in Germany

Thai women with marriage status in Germany

Figure 2.2 Comparison between the total number of Thai female migrants in Germany and the number of Thai female migrants with marriage status in Germany between 2005 and 2020. (Note. Federal Statistical Office of Germany. (2022). Retrieved from https://www.des tatis.de/GPStatistik/receive/DESerie_serie_00000018?List=all)

Concerning the marriage migration statistics among Thai women in Germany, studies by Chantavanich, Nittayananta, Ratanaolan-Mix, Ruenkaew, Kremkrut and Kanchai (2001), Mix and Piper (2003), Ruenkaew (2009) postulated that the majority of Thai women intended to marry a German citizen in order to get advantages such as receiving permanent legal stay. The intention behind their marriage migration was to improve their living and financial conditions and furthermore, to send remittances to support their natal families. Marrying a German citizen was an easy means of access to a residence permit and more benefits. The Federal Statistics Office of Germany website recorded the number of Thai

12

2

Literature Review

women who married German citizens, confirming the results of previous research about their increasing numbers. The indicated number is presented in Figure 2.3 below.

25.000

35.185 26.445

35.540 27.070

33.915 26.735

34.195 26.670

34.420 27.350

34.448 27.775

34.479 28.070

34.464 28.237

34.049 28.116

33.651 27.824

33.143 27.323

32.681 26.800

32.148 26.210

30.000

30.968 24.944

35.000

29.580 23.855

40.000

31.837 25.836

The Number of Thai Females with Married Status in Germany in 2005 - 2020

20.000 15.000 10.000 5.000 0 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 Married

Married with German

Figure 2.3 Comparison of the total number of Thai married female migrants in Germany and the number of Thai female migrants married to a German citizen in Germany between 2005 and 2020. (Note. Federal Statistical Office of Germany. (2022). Retrieved from https:/ /www.destatis.de/GPStatistik/receive/DESerie_serie_00000018?List=all)

The number of Thai women married to German men was significantly high compared to married Thai women in total. The indicated number evidently proves that there was higher mobility among Thai women from Thailand to Germany with marriage purposes, and that their spouses were mostly German citizens who helped them to achieve a permanent residence status in Germany. The growing number of Thai women migrating from Thailand to Germany meant that Thailand was facing a loss of valuable human capital, which directly affected the economy and social development within the country. Germany was ranked as the second country after The United States to which Thai women migrated to live permanently outside Thailand (Sinsuwan, 2017). The large number of female migrants in Germany has also been observed by scholars and it has been perceived in a pessimistic rather than optimistic manner. Scholars viewed this phenomenon as a detraditionalization having a negative

2.2 Study Direction of Transnational Thai Wives in Germany

13

effect on modern German society (Morokva´sic, 1984; Castles & Miller, 2003). However, there is a lack of empirical study regarding female migration and its role in the migration movement since the 1980s. The role of female migrants within their bi-cultural marital family has been of critical concern as they certainly became part of the citizen’s family, and normally women tend to take an active role to coordinate and accommodate within the family. Studies of Thai women in Germany have been conducted since the beginning of the migration era; however, the data are scarce in comparison with the increasing number of Thai incomers to Germany. Indeed, the number of Thai wives in Germany keeps growing. The necessity to study this phenomenon should be stressed. Scholars conducting research on this topic are concerned about the lack of empirical data and diversity. Thus, more studies are needed to clarify the emergence and impact of this phenomenon (Chantavanich, et al., 2001; Ruenkaew, 2003; 2009; 2014; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Sinsuwan, 2017).

2.2

Study Direction of Transnational Thai Wives in Germany

2.2.1

Poverty as the Main Motive of Marriage Migration

The most popular topic among studies on Thai women’s migration to Germany is their initial marriage motivation. The topic has received a lot of attention since the introduction of a dramatically strict regulation of visa requirements in 1990, which impacted the number of visa entry categories of Thai women. In the early era of migration before the 1990s, previous studies mainly emphasized sex trafficking and socio-economic aspects due to the large number of Thai women migrating to Germany to work in the prostitution sector (Chantavanich, et al, 2001; Ruenkaew, 2003; 2009; 2014; Mix & Piper, 2003; Sinsuwan, 2017). The results of those studies revealed interestingly similar outcomes. They showed that the majority of Thai women migrants came from a low or low-middle economic status family, having a low educational level, and gaining insufficient income to support themselves and their families when they were in Thailand. Their financial problems forced them to migrate internationally. Migration to Germany for Thai women became an option to improve their financial situation as most of them were indebted because of insufficient income to support themselves and their families. After 1990, new immigration requirements were implemented. In existing empirical studies on Thai women in Germany (Chantavanich, et al, 2001;

14

2

Literature Review

Ruenkaew, 2003; 2009; 2014; Mix & Piper, 2003), the authors demonstrated that the majority of Thai women who worked in Germany before 1990 intended to stay in order to work by using marriage as a legal pathway. Furthermore, those who were willing to migrate to Germany to work also utilized their marriage visa type to enable them to legally migrate to Germany. Marriage with German men became a visa access for Thai women who wanted to migrate for work rather than having a family. The socio-economic background of Thai female migrants remains an essential factor to study as it is often related to their migration decision. The study of Ruenkaew (2003; 2009; 2014) pointed out that Thai female migrants decided to migrate in order to escape from unfavorable social and economic conditions in their origin country. Another study by Sinsawan (2017) also confirmed that there was a strong relation between the socio-economic background of Thai women migrants and their migration decision. The ethnographic study of Elvira Niesner, Estrella Anonuevo, Marta Aparocoi and Petchara Sonsiengchai-Fenzl (1997) revealed the same evidence that women in Thailand mainly migrated in order to be able to financially support their extended families in Thailand. They confronted the limitations of the structural constraints in their origin country which entailed difficulties for them to gain sufficient financial means for themselves and their families. In the same vein, the study of Ruenkaew (2003) found that international marriage migration helped Thai women to receive better opportunities such as education, work, and living conditions. She considered marriage migration as a strategy of Thai women to escape from their social and environmental constraints, and furthermore, to have a better chance of working for better wages. In her book, “The Rights of Thai women to Migrate to Work Abroad” (Ruenkaew, 2009), one of the studies featured narrative biographical interviews with 33 Thai women in Germany who confirmed that Thai women migrants mostly came from poor families and married German men with the purpose of improving their economic status both for themselves and their family. The finding indicated that the main characteristics of Thai migrant women were that they mostly came from the Northern and North-Eastern provinces of Thailand. In particular, they could be divided into single mothers, commercial sex workers for foreign men and young unmarried women affected by relative economic deprivation searching for economic and social advantages via marriage migration. Another study by Duangkumnerd (2009) focused on Thai women’s lives after marriage and migration to Germany, utilizing both quantitative methods via questionnaires and qualitative methods via in-depth interviews. These included 396

2.2 Study Direction of Transnational Thai Wives in Germany

15

Thai women married to German men. The study discovered that most of the participants were from rural areas, born in families with financial problems, working in low-skilled jobs with low income, unsuccessful in their first marriage; and the reason for marrying German men was to escape from poverty with an expectation to live wealthier lives and to be able to support their origin family. Similarly, the study by Hambeek (1994) considered the marriage migration of Thai women in Germany in the beginning of the transformation of the migration pattern. The author found that Thai society had a positive attitude towards marriage with foreigners as it was a fast way to be wealthy and live in comfort. This view led to the popularity of transnational marriage migration among Thai women. Thai women and their families believed that once they married foreign husbands, they could improve their quality of living, financial status, and upgrade their social status as well. Marriage migration was not solely beneficial for Thai women, it also had a positive impact on their extended origin family. The results of previous studies showed that the motivation of marriage migration among Thai women was strongly connected to their socio-economic background. Poverty was presented as the main motive. However, an interesting issue was that they did not migrate solely to improve their socio-economic status, but they expected to improve the financial status of their origin family as well. This expectation of decreasing poverty for their extended family was revealed in many studies (Hambeek, 1994; Niesner, et al, 1997; Chantavanich, et al, 2001; Ruenkaew, 2003; 2009; 2014; Mix & Piper, 2003; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Sinsuwan, 2017).

2.2.2

The Thai Wives’ Perspective: Confronting Difficulties after Migration

The topic of confronting difficulties after migration from the perspective of Thai wives has been studied concurrently with the reason for their marriage migration. Many Thai researchers (Chantavanich, et al., 2001; Ruenkaew, 2009; 2014; Duangkumnerd; 2009; Sinsuwan, 2017) have pointed out aspects that Thai wives have had to cope with in Germany, such as language, culture, food, weather, social norms, etc. These were essential matters for them to learn in order to survive and live happily in Germany. However, the results tended to focus on the wives’ difficulties after migrating, presenting two main themes. The first was receiving an allowance from their German husband, and the second was finding employment.

16

2

Literature Review

The risk of marriage migration for females was that they might not find a decent job and would be financially dependent on their husbands. The results from previous studies (Chantavanich, et al., 2001; Mix & Piper, 2003; Ruenkaew, 2009; 2014; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Pomsema, Yodmalee, & Lao-Akka, 2015; Sinsuwan, 2017) similarly confirmed that Thai women who married German citizens were expected to be economically dependent on their husbands. Rather than preparing themselves to look for a job, they were provided a monthly allowance by their husband. However, this financial dependency extended to their living patterns as well. Thai wives tended to live up to their husband’s desires rather than their own wishes. In his study, Sinsuwan (2017) found that most of the participants had to confront the fact that their German husband took control of the household financially, which meant they arranged the budget for all family expenses such as rent, electricity, water, groceries, statutory health insurance, and childcare. The participants barely knew any financial information about their husband, or their expense details. Furthermore, they confessed that they were frustrated at being treated as full-time housewives with less authority in the marital family, and felt insecure with no income. Their husbands did not agree to provide a suitable allowance but decided to provide a little ‘pocket money’ from time to time for their personal expenses, which they were disappointed with, both in its amount and frequency, and they felt disrespected by their husbands. Similarly, the study of Chantavanich and colleagues (2001) revealed that many Thai wives experienced inferiority in their transnational marriage relationship. Most German husbands preferred their wives to be full-time housewives. From the Thai wives’ perspective, they felt like they were treated as servants rather than wives. Their worries also included the concern of not having enough money to remit to their natal families. Although most Thai wives expected to get allowances constantly from their German husband, many confronted the failure. The study of Ruenkaew (2014) revealed that many Thai wives needed to seek a job to support themselves but mainly to remit to their origin family in Thailand because they could not rely on the pocket money from their husband. However, it was difficult for Thai wives to find employment because of their German language skills and educational background. The findings of various scholars (Chantavanich, et al., 2001; Mix & Piper, 2003; Ruenkaew, 2009; 2014; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Sinsuwan, 2017) showed that Thai wives mostly worked in domestic labor jobs which did not require specific skills or a specific education qualification. According to most Thai wives, their low education level led to many difficulties after their migration. Chantavanich et al. (2001) found that Thai women with a low education level had

2.2 Study Direction of Transnational Thai Wives in Germany

17

difficulties learning the German language, which is absolutely essential for living in Germany, in terms of employment opportunities and social integration. After migration, Thai wives had to take courses provided by the German government on integration and the German language. In order to gain employment, Thai wives needed to achieve fluency in German. Interestingly, the findings showed that Thai wives considered those courses as a burden. They were neither interested in learning the German language nor understanding the legal system or blending into a new society. The courses did not match their migration objectives because they expected to have money from their husbands or from working, so that they could send remittances to their families in Thailand. The results of the mentioned scholars on Thai wives’ lives in Germany were in accordance with the Thai wives’ marriage migration and their financial requirements after migrating, which was strongly linked to the financial improvement rather than marriage aspect. Remittance was revealed as the main reason for marriage migration among Thai wives, who sought money both from their husband’s allowance and work. The majority of Thai wives confronted difficulties in order to be employed with the purpose of sending remittance. Even though the remittance issue was not the core focus of the previous studies, it appeared as an important issue in their findings.

2.2.3

Remitting as the Main Conflict among Transnational Marriage Relationships

Interestingly, although no scholars focused their studies on the remittance topic among Thai female migrants, the remittance issue appeared in almost all previous studies (Chantavanich, et al., 2001; Mix & Piper, 2003; Ruenkaew, 2009; 2014; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Sinsuwan, 2017). These studies discovered that Thai wives planned to send remittances to their origin families in Thailand before their migration. They explored the hypothesis that the remittance was strongly connected to Thai wives’ socio-economic family status. Migrating to Germany for Thai wives was not solely for themselves but for their origin families as well. This was why they expected to receive a proper allowance from their German husband or to search for a job. In the studies of Ruenkaew, who is a well-known Thai researcher and specialist on Thai women’s lives in Germany, the focus was mainly on trafficking of Thai women migrants to Germany. She has authored several books, for example “The Rights of Thai Women to Migrate to Work Abroad”, “Heirat nach Deutschland: Motive und Hintergründe thailändisch-deutscher”, “Transnational Prostitution of

18

2

Literature Review

Thai Women to Germany: A Variety of Transnational Labour Migration?” and articles on this topic such as “Transnational Prostitution”, “Thailaendische Frauen und Gemeinde heute in Deutschland”, and “Thai Women and Community in Germany Today”. In her previous studies, it was concluded that for Thai women’s migration was influenced by poor family conditions, and migration to Germany to marry German men with the purpose of improving their economic and social status was the best way to improve their lives. Even though her research focus was not on the remittance issue among transnational marriage couples, the remitting of Thai wives still appeared as a conflict between transnational marriage relationship in her studies (2003; 2006; 2009; 2014). Nevertheless, she agreed that poverty was a driving motive or main reason for Thai wives to remit. Most Thai wives decided to remit with the purpose of helping their origin family to live in better conditions. As for the German husband’s perspective, Chantavanich et al. (2001) found that most German husbands strongly disagreed with their wives sending remittances to their Thai family. They perceived that their marriage with Thai women did not include their wives’ extended family in Thailand. In order to prevent such remitting, German husbands mostly kept all their income for themselves and paid household expenses on their own. Correspondingly, in the study of Duangkumnerd (2009), which focused on transnational marriage between Thai women and German men, the author found that all participants expected to have a better life than living in Thailand with a further desire to be able to remit to their origin family. Some were able to remit, but most of them encountered marriage problems because their German husbands strongly disagreed on the matter. She discovered that most participants decided to work in order to have an opportunity to manage their own money without asking for permission from their husband. Remitting was crucial among Thai wives. Most had no special skills or education qualifications, hence worked as domestic laborers, but some unfortunately, worked as prostitutes while being married. She discovered that Thai wives perceived remitting as a necessity. They felt pressured to support their origin family, which enforced them to work as much as they could in order to earn as much as possible. Remitting tended to have a negative impact on Thai wives and their marriages. The discovery of the remittance issue among Thai wives in Germany was not new. Remittances have been perceived as a conflict within Thai transnational marriage relationships for a long time. The remitting of Thai wives has been recognized among scholars as a financial development tool for their origin family in Thailand. However, the motivation of remittances was rarely researched. Poverty may be the main factor for Thai women to remit, but what determines their

2.2 Study Direction of Transnational Thai Wives in Germany

19

remitting? As the empirical evidence has proven that the remittance behavior of married migrant Thai women creates conflicts within their marital relationships, the reason for remittances should be clarified in order to better understand their motives and patterns, and to confirm or reject assumptions.

2.2.4

The ‘New Generation’ of Thai Wives in Germany

A ‘New Generation’ of Thai wives has appeared in Germany, who are characterized as having a higher education, financial independence, and better integration skills. Ruenkaew (2014) conjectured that there was an increasing number of ‘new generation’ Thai wives migrating to Germany. There were no statistics available to confirm their exact numbers up to the present, but she discovered that the new generation of Thai wives was obviously different than the old one in many respects, such as socio-economic family status, purpose of marriage, and most importantly educational background. She found that the new generation of Thai women were educated and had attempted to search for a respectable job after their migration. To obtain proper employment, some enabled their Thai diplomas to be recognized in Germany, some pursued further higher education in Germany, while others decided to take vocational training courses, which are called ‘Ausbildung’ in Germany. The new generation tended to make long-term plans for their lives in Germany while the old generation focused on earning money. The study of another Thai researcher Sinsuwan (2017) was quite unconventional as he intended to shed more light on Thai marriage migrants in Germany in terms of their employment situation after migrating to Germany. His study was an unofficial updated socio-economic survey of the backgrounds of Thai wives in Germany. He found from his informants that there was no typical example of a migrant Thai wife in Germany; because they could have different educational backgrounds. He discovered that there were Thai wives with a higher education background, from families with a middle- to high- financial status, who had migrated to Germany just as Thai wives with a low education level who were from families with a low- to middle- financial status. He also used the term ‘new generation’ for this former group of Thai wives. Notwithstanding, the ‘new generation’ obtained better education qualifications and attempted to build their career in Germany legally. They still encountered the same difficulties as those with a lower education. Sinsuwan (2017) revealed that many Thai wives with a high education were frustrated because their higher education diploma was not useful, as most employers required German language proficiency. It was necessary for them to learn the German language and obtain at

20

2

Literature Review

least B1 level in order to be able to communicate. They were enforced to choose whether to work in a skilled job or be unemployed. The new generation of Thai wives were primarily concerned about their independence and security. They tended to refuse to be full-time housewives and tried very hard to secure a respectable job. The findings of Sinsuwan (2017) showed that the new generation tended to share household expenses with their German husbands after they became employed. Although they were financially independent and shared their living expenses with their husbands, they still took responsibility for household issues. Regarding the remittance issue, Sinsuwan (2017) revealed that the new generation of Thai wives did not send remittance because their family did not require it. He revealed that they lived more wealthily in Thailand than in Germany due to their family financial status, which was between mid- and high class. Thus, it was not necessary for them to send remittance to their origin family. This seemed to be in accordance with previous scholars, who discovered that Thai wives in Germany decided to remit because they were driven by poverty. In contrast, Suksomboon (2009), another Thai researcher on transnational Thai wives, who focused on cross-cultural marriages of Thai women in the Netherlands, found that it was not only Thai wives from poor families who sent remittance but also those from families with a mid- or high financial status. The purpose of remittance for those from mid- and high financial status families was different from that of those from poor families. The latter remitted to improve their origin family income while the former sent remittance to show their love and care. The remittances of Thai wives who came from mid- and high financial status families were mostly in the form of expensive products rather than high amounts of cash. Some studies were limited, confirming only that Thai women from poor families sent remittances. There was a contradiction in the findings of remittances among Thai women migrants. However, the remittance issue of Thai wives in Germany has been studied only to a small extent and the results have been insufficient to provide any helpful clarification. None have focused solely on this topic. The studies on transnational Thai wives in Germany have been limited in terms of their number and thematic dimensions. Filling this gap in the literature, this dissertation investigates the remittance issue among Thai wives in Germany in order to explore the motivations for remitting and their influencing factors, and to discover the effect of remittance of Thai wives on their family relationships, both marital and origin, to understand the positive and negative impacts of their remitting decision and behaviors. As the phenomenon of remittances repeatedly appears in previous studies on Thai women in Germany, a study focusing purely on remittances among them is much needed.

2.3 The Strength of Remittance Growth

2.3

21

The Strength of Remittance Growth

Remittance has been well-observed among economists, as it is an important source of financial flow from wealthy to poor countries. The focus of the majority of studies is to emphasize and evaluate the economic impact of migration flows by studying the amount and distribution of remittance sent by migrants to their origin family and community (Becker, 1974; De La Cruz, 1995; Funkhouser, 1995; Osaki, 1999; Taylor, 1999; Ratha, 2003; Ghosh, 2006; Holst & Schrooten, 2006; Carling, 2008; Deelen & Vasuprasat, 2010). The issue of remittance is not a new topic in the migration and development area. It has been studied for many years. However, the contradictions in findings and the gaps in understanding makes it a present topic that still needs to be further elaborated. In 2019 the World Bank reported the Annual Remittance Record of 2018, where the percentage of remittance flowing to low- and middle-income countries grew by 9.6 percent from 2017, which meant that the percentage of remittance flow in 2017 rose up from 2016 by approximately 8.8 percent. The World Bank stated that remittance was currently the largest source of foreign exchange earning in low- and middle-income countries (World Bank, 2019). The growth of remittance flow has significantly increased over the decades. Figure 2.4 presents the growth of remittances. It has been continuously increasing since the 1990s and the number is currently higher than both the foreign direct investment (FDI) and the official development assistance (ODA). Looking in particular at regional remittance flow to the East Asia and the Pacific regions, a steady increase in comparison with other regions was observed. There was an approximate 6.7 percent growth of remittance in 2018, which was higher than the growth rate of 1.6 percent in 2017. There is an expectation that the growth rate in 2019 and 2020 will amount to around 4.2–4.7 percent, respectively (World Bank, 2019). Interestingly, remittance is more consistent during economic downturn compared to other financial sources. In the 2001 economic downturn, the growth of remittances continued, while other sources declined (UNESCAP, 2007). In particular, the indicated remittance growth in Asia and the Pacific region was well-presented as a stable source of external finance. Accordingly, during the recession in 2009, there was a crisis which dramatically affected the western financial markets, eventually leading to severe global economic stagnation. The global economy fell during the crisis, whereas the growth of remittance remained stable. Indeed, remittance continued to increase in Asia and the Pacific, while in Latin American and Caribbean countries it declined during 2008–2009.

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Figure 2.4 The global growth of Remittance flows to low- and middle-income countries between 1990 and 2019. (Notes. FDI = foreign direct investment; ODA = official development assistance. See appendix A in World Bank (2017) for data and forecast methods. e = estimates; f = forecasts. By World Bank. (2019). Migration and Remittances. Retrieved from https://www.knomad.org/sites/default/files/2019-04/Migrationanddevelopmentbrief31.pdf)

In Thailand, remittance is the main external financial source that is increasing rapidly. The report of the Bank of Thailand (2019) revealed that remittance growth in Thailand frequently remained stable at approximately 5,852.46 billion Thai Baht from 1996 until 2019. However, the remittance in 2019 reached 10,742 billion Thai Baht. The remittance in Thailand mainly went to rural areas as part of the household income rather than as an investment. The main use of remittance was for the daily living expenses of all family members and paying debts (Richter & Havanon, 1995). Remittance payment from international migrants represented the main source of income and insurance for current households.

2.4 Various Motives for Remittance

2.4

23

Various Motives for Remittance

There are studies on remittance from an economic perspective and there is a great deal of statistical evidence to suggest that remittance is certainly an important external financial source for developing countries. However, the motivation behind remittance remains debated. From a labor economic perspective, many studies have revealed that the important factors motivating remittance are related to poverty. Most migrants were from communities which had poor public services and limited infrastructure. The decision to migrate was shaped by the social context, typically related to family circumstances. Remittance is naturally the contribution of migrants to their household income (Becker, 1974; Funkhouser, 1995; Taylor, 1999; Ratha, 2003; 2007; 2013; Yoshino, Taghizadeh-Hesary, Otsuka, 2017). In 1990, Taylor categorized the impact of migration and remittance into two different extremes in terms of motives that drove migrants to send remittance and the effect of remittance on the sending areas. He concluded that the motive of remittance fell into the developmentalist extreme, which harmonized with the new economics of labor migration (NELM) theory on remittance. NELM views remittance as a development tool. It was claimed that remitting is a migration decision which forms part of a family strategy to increase income for investing in new activities. On the other hand, remittance was simply a source of support for household expenses in poor developing countries. Meanwhile, the effect of remittance on the sending areas was categorized into the “Dutch disease” or “Migrant syndrome” extreme, which presented migration as a self-perpetuating process. The benefits of migrants’ work attracted them from their area of origin to be a labor export, which consequently increased the number of migrants in the sending areas. After categorizing the motives and effects of remitting into two extremes, Taylor (1990) did not completely agree that these two extremes solely explained the remitting pattern. He believed that there was another true pattern lying somewhere between them. Nevertheless, it was difficult to identify the true interaction between international migration, remittance, and development. He pointed out that remitting might be motivated by pure altruism and self-interest of migrants who cared for those left behind and was not just a tool for poverty reduction. The work of Lucas and Stark in 1985 employed the framework from the NELM to study the migrants’ household decisions where the remittances were part of an economic strategy. They studied the motivation of migrants’ remittances in Botswana and hypothesized that there were three main motivation types

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that possibly influenced migrants to remit: pure altruism, pure self-interest, and tempered altruism or enlightened self-interest. Altruism had been observed as the main motivation for remitting among migrants since the 1970s. Remittance was an action of migrants driven by pure altruism to improve the welfare of their origin family members (Becker, 1974). This altruism-led remittance demonstrated that the migrants cared about the wellbeing of the family they left behind and provided evidence of a positive relationship between the migrants and their origin family. Under this motive, the remittance was mostly spent on household expenses for the recipient (Becker, 1974; Funkhouser, 1995). Further, the remittance amount was expected to be increased according to the income of the migrants. However, the hypothesis of altruism as the main driver of remitting lost its interest over time due to the weak social ties between the migrants and their origin families, as there was a rising number of permanent migrants who were starting to establish themselves in the destination area (Holst & Schrooten, 2006; Vargas-Silva, 2006; Carling, 2008). Meanwhile, the pure self-interest motive was not presented as being associated with a bonding between the migrants and their natal family, but it was considered as something done for the migrants’ benefit. Lucas and Stark (1985) found evidence in the case of Botswana that the remittances driven by self-interest were utilized to acquire physical assets such as houses, land, or investments, which was possibly related to the migrant’s preparation for their return to their area of origin. Thus, the remittance was intended to provide potential benefits for the migrant rather than their origin family. Another form of remitting motive is tempered altruism or enlightened selfinterest. Lucas and Stark (1985) explained this motive as an alternative to pure altruism and self-interest because of the limitations of the latter in explaining remittance motivation. Under this motive, remittances are perceived as a contractual arrangement between the migrant and their family based on two components, namely investment and risk. Regarding the risk component, there was a co-insurance agreement between the sender and recipient of remittances and this agreement was provided for mutual benefits. For example, the migrant sent remittances to their family when their family needed money for agriculture and their family would send money to the migrant in return when he/she faced an unemployment situation. The contractual agreement in terms of investment involved remittances that migrants sent to their origin family which were understood as loan payments between the migrant and their family (Lucas & Stark, 1985). The concept of a loan payment in this sense is related to the human capital investment that the

2.4 Various Motives for Remittance

25

migrant’s family provided before their migration, such as education and migration expenses. In this case, remittances were the household’s investment that the migrant needed to repay to their family. The remittance amount depended on the amount of familial investment which was normally only a temporary payment for the migrant. However, the idea of repaying the household’s investment could also be associated with pure altruism (Niimi & Reilly, 2009). Indeed, there is a differentiation of remitting motivations driven by different determinants. Remittance motivation cannot simply be determined by the migrants’ characteristics. The analysis requires specific attention to the influenced determinants (Funkhouser, 1995). Remittance decisions involve various factors, such as demographics, geography, culture, religion, and economic conditions between the migrant and their origin family. Obviously, a single remitting motivation cannot be generalized to the entire population of migrants, who have different backgrounds and cultures. Taylor (1999) studied the role of remittances in the migration process and found that there were three major problems in the theory and methodology on migration and in the developing literature on remittances: 1. Most migration research perceived migrants as an isolated person who was free from their origin family and community. Most empirical scholars on remittance used surveys as a tool, which did not provide sufficient information and mainly focused on the influences of remittance in terms of household economics. Some focused on communities and examined the effect of remittance as an investment and consumption expenditure. 2. Many important aspects of migration and remittance might have been missed by traditional research approaches as the consumption of most remittances was on households, which has been considered as a determinant. 3. It is important to identify the determinants and impact of migration and remittance on economic development. There are many factors that influence remitting, e.g., migrant’s behaviors, environment, market, and economic policy contexts. However, the main question should not only focus on remittance effects or on economic development. It should address ‘why’ international migration is positively supported in some migrants’ sending areas but not others. Despite increasing remittance flows, little work has been done to continue investigating the determinants that influence remittance growth. The complexity of various determinants makes it increasingly complicated to understand remitting motivations among migrants worldwide. However, it is essential to understand the

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core motivations of remittance as this reflects the relationships between migrants and their origin families and may also help to predict the amount, duration, and patterns of remittance.

2.5

Remittances and Transnational Female Migrants

The increasing number of female migrants all over the world is statistically evident but few studies have been done specifically on remittance behaviors. The remittance issue has been an interesting topic to study among scholars since the late 1990s. However, among these studies, gender was not generally considered. Females in a migration context were perceived as passive remittance receivers, whereas male migrants were associated with an active image of remittance senders (Kunz, 2008; Petrozziello, 2013). However, the empirical evidence has proven that women are also remitters, just as men. The increasing number of female migrants and their positive contribution to economic development has been recognized in various international economic results. The evidence of women as the remitter has been revealed in many studies (Lucas & Stark, 1985; Taylor, 1987; Massey & Parrado, 1994; Osaki, 2003; Van Wey, 2004; Piper, 2005) but the findings are contradictory. Most studies indicate that female migrants send remittances constituting a higher proportion of their earnings, for a longer time, and more consistently than male migrants (Lucas & Stark, 1985; Osaki, 2003; Van Wey, 2004; Piper, 2005). Particularly, as for women migrants from Asian countries, a number of studies confirm that female migrants remit more frequently than male migrants (Osaki, 2003; Van Wey, 2004; Piper, 2005; Deelen & Vasuprasat, 2010). On the other hand, some studies argue that women do not play an important role in remittance flow as they send a smaller amount of remittance than men (Massey & Parrado, 1994). The evidence of women as the remitter has been critically considered among scholars because female migrants frequently encounter difficulties in terms of employment in comparison with men, such as difficulties obtaining a job because of work permits and legal status, lower wages, and a high risk of abuse. The question arose of why and how women remit and what the differences of motivation of remittance are between females and males. Regarding empirical evidence, some studies focused on remittance in female migrants (Grasmuck & Patricia, 1991; Curran, 1995; De La Cruz, 1995; Osaki, 2003; Van Wey, 2004; Piper, 2005; Ghosh, 2006; Deelen & Vasuprasat, 2010). They postulated that female migrants’ remittance was different from that of males. Based on gender stereotypes, women had different motivations to remit. Female remitters tended to remit more out of

2.6 Remittances and Transnational Female Marriage Migrants

27

pure altruism for their distant family members and remit over longer periods than males (Orozco, Lowell, & Schneider, 2006). Migrant women were more reliable and loyal remitters and tended to remit to a wider circle of extended family members (Lucas & Stark, 1985; Curran, 1995; Osaki, 1999; Deelen & Vasuprasat, 2010). Concerning the remittance motives of male migrants, they mostly remit motivated by self-interest, and this was often directly related to their wives, not to their origin family members. Men were considered more likely to remit with rationalism in mind, in terms of the economic perspective, than women (Orozco, Lowell, & Schneider, 2006). The issue of traditional gender roles was also included in the study of remittance motivation between genders. Some studies (Keyes, 1984; Mills, 1997; Vanwey, 2004; Petrozziello, 2013; Curran, 1995; Curran & Saguy, 2001) revealed that female migrants, especially single women, possibly experienced familial pressure to send remittance back home to support their extended family. This effect seemed to be overwhelmingly powerful with regard to gender, migration including remittance often being perceived as part of being a ‘dutiful daughter’. The studies of Curran and Saguy (2001) discovered that some families preferred their daughters to migrate, rather than their sons, because they believed daughters tended to remit more than sons and would provide more income to support their family members. The performance of women in remittance has been sharply increasing, particularly among Asian countries. Migrant women turned out to be the responsible efficient moneymakers for their family. The study of Thai female migrants in various cases (Curran, 1995; Keough, 2006; Suksomboon, 2007; Fresnoza-Flot, 2009) confirmed that Thai female migrants were efficient remitters to their family members. Their remittance was reliable and consistent with a concentration on the altruistic motive. However, it was also noticed that Thai women migrants perceived remittances as their responsibility because their Thai family, particularly their parents, often had high expectations for their daughters to provide a high and frequent income.

2.6

Remittances and Transnational Female Marriage Migrants

Regarding transnational wives, the majority of female migrants primarily migrated for marriage purposes. Studies of remittance behaviors among female migrants mostly focused on those who independently migrated. However, the transnational wives were not perceived as participants in economic activities. In

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general, female migrants who migrated with a marriage purpose were a dependent of their husband’s household. The role of female migrants in terms of sending remittance to their origin family was neglected due to their financial dependency status. There were a few existing studies that explored the remittances of transnational wife migrants. However, the findings of these few studies confirmed that female marriage migrants contributed to their origin family even though their financial status was not stable (Curran, 1995; Osaki, 1999; Chantavanich, et al., 2001; Mix & Piper, 2003; Ruenkaew, 2009; 2014; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Sinsuwan, 2017). Interestingly, the married female migrants who have been studied are mostly from South-East Asian countries. There were studies revealing that Vietnamese female marriage migrants remitted to their origin family even that they migrated for marriage. The study of Bélanger, Linh, and Duong (2011) involved Vietnamese female marriage migrants and discovered that contributions to their natal family were done through remittances. The findings revealed that their remittances were important to their family as it increased their financial status and gave them better living conditions. In addition, the results support the altruism motivation of remittance because there was insufficient evidence to show that their remittances were related to pure self-interest. Similarly, the study of Yeoh, Leng, Dung, and Cheng (2013) discovered that female marriage migrants married to Singaporean men sent remittances to their origin family, which created a conflict within their marital families. They needed to manage their conflict in their marital families while maintaining their remitting to their natal families. Transnational Thai female marriage migrants also sent remittances to their natal family. The study of Osaki (1999) demonstrated that the rising participation among women in international mobility was a survival strategy for Thai households. In conditional terms of gender roles in Thai culture, female migrants provided a stronger commitment than male migrants in terms of economic support for their family members. The remittances from Thai women migrants were higher and a necessary supplement for the living of households. Similarly, the study of Curran (1995) revealed that Thai daughters were expected by their natal family to remit more than sons. Remittances were obligatory for Thai women, whether they were independent migrants or married migrants. Curran and Saguy (2001) explained that Thai women had stronger ties to the family, thus they committed to high expectations and pressures from their family members. On the other hand, the study of Muliaina (2005) on New Zealand migrants from Samoa presented different findings. Although the natal family similarly preferred women to migrate, as they were considered to be more reliable at sending

2.7 Remittance Trends in Germany

29

remittances, only unmarried women sent a significant part of their income. They would remit less when they were married, as their focus was then more on their spouses and children. The same was found by Piper (2005), who discovered that married female migrants remitted first to their husbands. An interesting point is that, even though studies discovered that these female migrants provided a smaller amount of remittance after they married, they nevertheless continued to remit.

2.7

Remittance Trends in Germany

Germany is one of the most important countries regarding the sending of remittances. The Federal Statistical Office (2010) revealed that the remittances that flowed out of Germany amounted to approximately 6.7 million euros and almost 50 percent of this was from women. However, according to the empirical findings, male migrants in Germany remitted more than female migrants (Merkle & Zimmermann, 1992; Holst & Schrooten, 2006; Holst, Schäfer, & Schrooten, 2008). Feminists have argued that the gender roles and gender segregation of the migration process must be criticized (Ramirez, Dominguez, & Morais, 2005). The increasing number of female migrants in Germany has been proven in statistical reports, as well as the amount of remittances from female senders. Thus, women migrants play an important role in the transnational network through their economic contributions (Orozco, Lowell, & Schneider, 2006). The neglect of gender roles entails insufficient implications for predicting the remittance behavior of women migrants. From the empirical evidence (Ramirez, Dominguez, & Morais, 2005; Orozco, Lowell, & Schneider, 2006), gender roles influence the transnational network and affect remittance behaviors. Although there are plenty of studies providing analyses of household characteristics and family ties, these fail to explain the pattern of sending remittances as a function of gender. There are some empirical studies which suggest that married migrants send larger amounts of remittances abroad than unmarried migrants (Merkle & Zimmermann, 1992; Sinning 2007). The study of Holst, Schäfer and Schrooten (2008) found similar results, indicating that married and employed migrants of both genders send a higher amount of remittances. However, they confirmed that female migrants remitted less than male migrants due to gender specific roles within the marital family, which was not in accordance with present statistical reports. Obviously, the remittance issue in terms of gender specificity has been neglected among scholars, particularly remittance of female married migrants.

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Although there are a few studies which have proved that female married migrants contributed to their extended family abroad, these are very limited in clarifying their remitting motivation and patterns. Also unexplored was the attitudes and opinions of the transnational wives’ marital family to their remitting behaviors. The results of previous studies showed that there were differences of remitting patterns and motivations but unclarities existed regarding the influential factors which led to these differences. Thus, the remittance issue remains an important topic to date, so the remittance issue among transnational married women migrants should be a critical concern. Regarding Thai women migrants in Germany, previous studies have revealed that that sending of remittances by transnational Thai wives is a source of conflict within their marital relationships. However, there has been no investigation on this topic so far. There is an assumption that the remitting motivation is certainly related to the Thai wives’ economic background and remittances are a tool to tackle the poverty of their natal families. But what determines the remittance behaviors among them? How do remittance behaviors affect their (marital and natal) family relationships? These questions should not remain as myths. This dissertation aims to clarify the remittance determinations and motivations of transnational Thai married women migrants in Germany and to provide a deeper understanding of the driving factors of their remitting in addition to the relative influences. The second objective is to investigate the marital relationships between transnational Thai wives and their German husbands as well as their natal relationships with their extended family members, and particularly their parents, in relation to their remitting decisions and behaviors.

3

Research Methodology

A qualitative case study research design was selected for this study. This approach, which most appropriately fitted the goal, purpose, and questions in the study, was adopted to gain in-depth knowledge and elicit new viewpoints on the remittance phenomenon among Thai wives in Germany. In this chapter, the research design is explained. The research procedures, including the process of case selection, data collection and data analysis, are discussed. Along with triangulation and the position of the researcher, the limitations of this study are described as well.

3.1

Research Questions

There are two main research questions that are addressed in this study: 1. Why do transnational Thai wives decide to remit to their natal families in Thailand? 2. How do the remittance behaviors of transnational Thai wives affect their family relationships, both with their natal family in Thailand and with their marriage family in Germany?

Supplementary Information The online version contains supplementary material available at https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-658-41686-7_3.

© The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Fachmedien Wiesbaden GmbH, part of Springer Nature 2023 K. Haklin, Remittance of Thai Female Marriage Migrants in Germany, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-658-41686-7_3

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3.2

3

Research Methodology

Rationale for the Qualitative Case Study Methodology

The primary purpose of this study is to understand the decision of remittances among Thai migrant wives who married German men and migrated to Germany permanently, and the impact of their remittances on their family relationships, both in Thailand and in Germany. The required methodology needs to be able to investigate a complex real-life context within a natural setting, which involves the feelings, beliefs, and meaning of relationships between people, and is possibly connected to their culture. Furthermore, it needs to draw in-depth knowledge out of this phenomenon. The qualitative case study approach was selected for this study, taking into account its goal, purpose, and problems. Case studies have been affirmed as an empirical method that enables researchers to specifically investigate contemporary phenomena in the unit of study context (Yin, 2014). A case study is defined as a method which provides a deep understanding of the characteristics of individual units such as a person, a group, or a community, with the purpose of analyzing their environment and phenomena related to them (Cohen & Manion, 1989). According to Robert Yin (2014), a case study is defined as an ‘empirical research method that allows for the investigation of a contemporary phenomenon in real-life contexts, especially when the boundaries between phenomenon and context are not clearly evident’. The qualitative case study research approach provides extensive details of the phenomenon being studied, and includes a specific description of particular activities, personal relationships, or community interactions. Furthermore, the case study approach offers a holistic interpretation of a phenomenon and often refers to the social and cultural context of the cases. The findings of a case study provide generalizations from cases’ experience which are not manipulated by treatment, experiment, or any social settings. The data from a case study approach can be considered as contemporary real-life phenomenon knowledge elicited from people’s viewpoints and experiences (Stake, 1995). Regarding applicability, Yin (2014) explains that case study designs are properly used when (1) the focus of the study is to answer the research questions of “how” and “why”; (2) the investigator has little or no control over the phenomenon, and (3) the focus of research is on a contemporary phenomenon within a real-life context, particularly when the boundaries are not clear between phenomenon and context. Campbell (1975), Eysenck (1976), and Ragin (1987) similarly explain that a qualitative case study approach is one of the empirical research methods that it is appropriate to use to investigate a specific phenomenon of human affairs. The data deriving explanation from social and people inquiries

3.2 Rationale for the Qualitative Case Study Methodology

33

is an empiricism which provides competent knowledge that a quantitative research approach cannot achieve (Campbell, 1975; Eysenck, 1976; Ragin, 1987; Ragin & Becker, 1992; Schwandt, 1994). Furthermore, the nature of a case study approach is recommended for research that has no prior hypotheses in the early stage of study (Meredith, Raturi, Amoako-Gyampah, & Kaplan, 1989; Guba & Lincoln, 1994). It allows the researcher to investigate the concerned variables during the investigation process. In the matter of studying a human affair, a qualitative case study approach focuses more on the correspondence of the findings to represent realities rather than coherence with the predictive hypothesis or existing theories (Meredith et al., 1989; Guba & Lincoln, 1994; Schwandt, 1994). This study put forward no a priori hypotheses due to its aim to investigate the variables that influenced the remittance behaviors of Thai migrant wives in Germany. Thus, a qualitative case study was deemed to be an appropriate research approach. Case study designs can be both single and multiple, however the present study opted for the multiple holistic case study approach, because it provided the capacity to acquire a deeper understanding, to explore new insights, and to refine earlier knowledge of a specific phenomenon (Stake, 1995; Baxter & Jack, 2008; Yin, 2014). Furthermore, a multiple case study allows the researcher to investigate the similarities and differences between cases. The goal of a multiple case study approach is to investigate the findings across cases so that comparisons can be drawn (Vannoni, 2014; Yin, 2014). According to Eisenhardt (1989), Flyvbjerg (2006), Baxter and Jack (2008), and Yin (2014), the findings from a multiple case study approach are robust and reliable. A multiple case study allows for the collection and synthesis of rich data of the phenomenon by using more than one specific case to overcome the problem of limited evidence. However, a multiple case study design entails both benefits and difficulties. Baxter and Jack (2008) mention that this method could be costly and timeconsuming. Additionally, case selection needs to undergo a rigorous process (Stake, 1995; Baxter & Jack, 2008; Yin, 2014). To seek information-rich cases, a purposive sampling rather than a random selection of cases is recommended (Patto, 1990; Stake, 1995; Flyvbjerg, 2006; Baxter & Jack, 2008; Yin, 2014). The selected cases would be viewed as a representative of a target population even though representativeness is not the criteria for case selection; therefore, the researcher must carefully select each case (Eisenhardt, 1989; Stake, 1995; Yin, 2014). As the purpose of this study is to explore the reasons for and relationship impact of remittance behaviors among Thai wives in Germany, each case of the study has been carefully selected regarding their background. These included family economic status, education level, previous career, marriage purpose, and so

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on, to investigate similarities and differences of the participants’ decision to remit as well as the relationships between them and their origin and marital families in light of those different backgrounds. Additionally, Schulze and Avital (2011) mention that interviews do not automatically guarantee rich data or produce meaningful insights. In order to obtain information richness, a case study approach allows for evidence acquired from many sources (Eisenhardt, 1989; Stake, 1995; Yin, 2014; Flyvbjerg, 2006). Yin (2014) postulated six such sources of evidence that can be utilized in a case study, including interviews, direct-observation, participant-observation, documentation, archival records, and physical artifacts. It is not necessary to collect data from all these six sources but using various sources is highly recommended as it will result in potentially extensive details. In order to avoid the risk of lacking evidence, this study employed a number of different data sources to enhance the understanding of remittance issues among Thai migrant women from different perspectives. Data from multiple sources have been collected through different methods, including in-depth interviews, focus group interviews, and participant and non-participant observation methods. Lastly, there is a concern about a possible subjective bias towards the verification of the hypotheses of the present study since the findings and conclusions are influenced by one researcher (Eisenhardt, 1989; Stake, 1995; Yin, 2014; Flyvbjerg, 2006). In fact, the issue of bias towards verification is a general issue in qualitative studies since most qualitative researchers collect and interpret the data alone (Campbell, 1975; Yin, 2014; Flyvbjerg, 2006). However, in order to decrease the risk of bias and enhance reliability, this study adopted a triangulation approach in the data collection and data analysis processes, the details of which will be explained hereunder. Moreover, ethical issues were thoroughly taken into account because the data were collected from participants who were Thai married migrant women in Germany. This study acknowledged the participants’ rights. The details are described in the section on ethics.

3.3

Triangulation

Triangulation is essential in a qualitative research study as it ensures reliability and validity of the data and results. Triangulation compensates for the weakness of the study methodology by applying different approaches to investigate the data. Triangulation within case study research is significant as it enables the researcher to minimize bias and ensure the validity and reliability of the study. It ensures

3.3 Triangulation

35

confirmability in naturalistic research by multiple methods (Yin, 2014) and provides different perspectives which can unite diverse findings on a phenomenon. The nature of the present case study was to provide an in-depth investigation of a contemporary phenomenon in a real-life context which required a degree of construct validity. Triangulation assisted the researcher to increase reliability and convergent validity. The methods of triangulation can be divided into four types (Denzin, 1970; 1978; Bonoma, 1985; Erzburger & Prein, 1993; Flick, 1992; Miles &Huberman, 1994) (Table 3.1). Table 3.1 Triangulation Methods Description Type

Description

1. Data

Collect data by using the same method but from different sources which possibly took place in different times.

2. Investigator/Researcher

More than one researcher collects or interprets the data.

3. Theoretical

Use more than one theory perspective in the interpretation of the phenomenon.

4. Methodological

Use multiple methods to collect data.

The first type of data triangulation refers to gathering data from different sources by using the same method in order to increase the validity of the study. Regarding the collection of data, there were different times involved in different contexts, as well as different people. The second method of triangulation was to include multiple researchers to collect or interpret evidence or data. The qualitative study heavily relied on the researchers’ interpretations to generate data and the method of using different researchers helped to control for reliability and validity. Using different researchers but the same research method and achieving the same results confirmed the data reliability. In addition, using different researchers from different ethnicities, ages, genders, and study groups decreased the bias. Thirdly, theoretical triangulation refers to the use of different research methodologies to investigate the dataset. This method utilized multiple diverse perspectives/disciplines to interpret a single data set, which would otherwise be time-consuming and not feasible. The fourth method was methodological triangulation, which involved the use of a combination of qualitative and quantitative methods in the same study. This method helped the researcher to compare the results from two different methods on the same data, which added reliability and validity to the research.

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Research Methodology

Methodological triangulation can be divided into two different types: ‘Withinmethods’ and ‘Between-methods’. A within-method refers to the use of multiple sources of data within one design, e.g. in a qualitative case study, multiple data collection methods are used such as interviews, focus-groups, observation, etc. Meanwhile, a between-method relates to the use of contrasting methods, being a combination of quantitative and qualitative methods. This is also known as mixed methods research. In this qualitative case study, triangulation was employed as a strategy to confirm reliability and validity. This study applied three of the triangulation methods in its data collection and data analysis procedures. In the data collection process, methodological and data triangulations were adopted with the purpose of minimizing the bias of the data. The multiple data sources strategy helped to remove the bias from the perspective of a single informant as the case study approach heavily relied on subjective data. Thus, data triangulation was a necessary method to avoid subjectivity and enhance the objectivity of the data. Also, the use of a variety of methods to collect the same data provided multiple lenses through which the data could be analyzed. Both triangulation methods enabled this study to obtain rich data in terms of quality and thick data in terms of analysis. Meanwhile, in order to enhance the confidence of this study, other investigators were involved in the data analysis and interpretation process, who worked in the Transnational Social Support research training group of Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz (JGU), which included professors, post-docs, and doctoral researchers. In the data analysis stage, the data were separately interpreted but later were generated together in order to decrease the bias of one researcher and avoid mitigating bias to each other during the interpretation process. Meanwhile, the discussion provided in the data generation process contributed to defining the appropriate theme for the best results (Table 3.2). Table 3.2 Triangulation Methods Utilized in the Study Data Collection Procedure – Methodological Triangulation

Description • • • •

Non-participant observation Participant observation One-on-one interview Focus-group interview (continued)

3.3 Triangulation

37

Table 3.2 (continued) Data Collection Procedure

Description

– Data Triangulation

Non-participant observation: ◯ 1st round; 12 June 2016: ‘FANG LUUK NIMIT’ at Wat Charoen Dham, Lügde, Germany ◯ 2nd round; 30–31 July 2016: Thai Festival Event at Bad Homburg, Germany ◯ 3rd round; 13–14 August 2016: Thai Market, Berlin, Germany ◯ 4th round; 30 October 2016: ‘Thot Kathin’ at Wat Phra Dhammakaya, Ingelheim am Rhein, Germany ◯ 5th round; 29–10 July 2017: Thai Festival Event at Bad Hamburg, Germany ◯ 6th round; 7–8 July 2018: Thai Festival Event at Bad Hamburg Participant observation: ◯ 1st round; 3 July 2017: Merit-making Ceremony by offering alms and foods to monks for opening massage shop of Thai woman migrant in Germany (Case Study no. 5) ◯ 2nd round; 10 April 2017: Merit-making Ceremony by offering alms and foods to monks for ‘Birthday celebration’ of Thai woman migrant in Germany (Case Study no. 3) ◯ 3rd round; 2–4 May 2017: Home visiting in Germany; (Case study no. 5) ◯ 4th round; 19 February 2017: Home visiting in Germany; (Case study no.8) One-on-one Interview: – Key Informant ◯ Eight Thai wives – Secondary Informant; Family member of key informants ◯ Younger Sister of case no. 3 ◯ Thai Parent of case no.3 ◯ German Husband of case no. 5 ◯ Thai-German adult child of case no. 5 ◯ German Husband of case no. 8 – Secondary Informant; Thai Expert in the field of Thai migrants in Germany ◯ Thai Expert A: Network Thais Overseas (NTO) ◯ Thai Expert B: Network Thais Overseas (NTO) ◯ Thai Monk; Thai Temple, Stuttgart, Germany (continued)

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Table 3.2 (continued) Data Collection Procedure

Description ◯ Thai Staff: Ban Ying Coordination and Counseling Center, Berlin, Germany Focus-group Interview: ◯ 1st round; 4 persons at House of Thai migrant woman, Frankfurt, Germany ◯ 2nd round; 6 persons at Thai Temple, Stuttgart, Germany

Data Analysis Procedure – Investigator/Researcher Triangulation

3.4

Data Interpretation: • Transnational Social Support Research Training Group, Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz (JGU)

Data Collection

This research collected data for over 36 months from June 2016 until June 2019. The advantages of using a case study approach is the flexibility and adaptability in data collection that it allows, permitting the researcher to collect data from either single or multiple sources and to use different methods to investigate the research problem (Patton, 1990; Stake, 1995; Yin, 2014). This study applied multiple data collection methods to obtain an in-depth understanding of the phenomenon under study. Eight cases of Thai women who married German men and live in Germany were the key informants in this study. The data collection of this study draws on observations and interviews. Observation included non-participant and participant observations. Interviews included in-depth interviews and focus group interviews. These two methods of data collection aimed to collect data from different sources in order to elaborate the facets of remitting among Thai migrant women from different aspects (Table. 3.3).

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39

Table 3.3 Data Collection Methods Method

Gathered Evidence by

Date and Place

1. Observation Session

Non-Participant; note-taking, photos

1. 12 June 2016: ‘FANG LUUK NIMIT’ at Wat Charoen Dham, Lügde, Germany 2. 30–31 July 2016: Thai Festival Event at Bad Homburg, Germany 3. 13–14 August 2016: Berlin Thai Market 4. 30 October 2016: ‘Thot Kathin’ at Wat Phra Dhammakaya, Ingelheim am Rhein, Germany 5. 29–10 July 2017: Thai Festival Event at Bad Hamburg, Germany 6. 7–8 July 2018: Thai Festival Event at Bad Hamburg, Germany

Participant; note-taking, photos, voice recording

1. Merit-making Ceremony by offering alms and food to monks for opening a massage shop of a Thai married migrant woman in Germany (Case Study no. 5); 3 July 2017 2. Merit-making Ceremony by offering alms and food to monks for ‘Birthday celebration’ of a Thai married migrant woman in Germany (Case Study no. 3); 10 April 2017 3. Home visiting in Germany; (Case study no. 5); 2–4 May 2017 4. Home visiting in Germany; (Case study no.8); 19 February 2017 (continued)

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Table 3.3 (continued) Method

Gathered Evidence by

2. Interview Session

In-depth; face-to-face, 1. The chosen eight cases; key semi-structured interview, informants voice recording, note-taking 2. Family members of the chosen cases; secondary informants 3. Experts in the field of Thai women migrants in Germany; secondary informants Focus group interview; face-to-face, unstructured interview, voice recording, note-taking

3.4.1

Date and Place

Thai migrant women living in Germany; secondary data sources

Observation Method

The purpose of using these two observation methods as a data collection tool was to develop an in-depth understanding of the phenomenon of remitting among Thai migrant women in Germany within a real-life environment. Additionally, the purpose of the observation sessions was to explore the optimal cases and other interesting informants for this research. The researcher expected these observation sessions to stimulate an in-depth and enriched explanation of remitting among Thai migrant women in Germany. • Non-Participant Observation: Non-participant observation was the first method of data collection in this study. It was decided to use non-participant observation to explore social behaviors of Thai migrant women in Germany in a natural setting when there was no way to collect data by means of participant observation and interviews. The focus of the non-participant observations was to study social behaviors, group activities, and relationships among Thai migrants in Germany, particularly between Thai women and between Thai women and their German husbands. The data was collected by taking field notes and photo recordings. In total, this study collected data through six nonparticipant observations in four locations. Table 3.4 provides the information about the non-participant observations. Table 3.4 shows the data collection dates, events, locations, and documentation methods. The data were collected from four locations: a Thai temple named ‘Wat Charoen Dham’, a Thai festival event in Bad Homburg, a Thai

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Table 3.4 Information for Non-Participant Observation Date

Event

Location

Participants

12 June 2016

‘FANG LUUK NIMIT’

Wat Charoen Dham, Lügde, Germany

Thai migrants Notes, Photos (mostly females)

Documentation

30–31 July 2016

Thai Festival Event

Bad Homburg, Germany

Thai migrants, German partners, Other visitors

Notes, Photos

13–14 August 2016

Thai Market

Thai Park, Berlin, Germany

Thai migrants (mostly female) as a seller, Thai migrants as a visitor, Other visitors

Notes, Photos

30 October 2016

‘Thot Kathin’

Wat Phra Dhammakaya, Ingelheim am Rhein, Germany

Thai migrants, German partners, Other visitors

Notes, Photos

29–10 July 2017

Thai Festival Event

Bad Hamburg, Germany

Thai migrants, German partners, Other visitors

Notes, Photos

7–8 July 2018

Thai Festival Event

Bad Hamburg, Germany

Thai migrants, German partners, Other visitors

Notes, Photos

market at Thai park in Berlin, and a Thai temple named ‘Wat Phra Dhammakaya’. There were in total six data collections through non-participant observation in order to confirm the findings and gather more data from observation. • Participant Observation: The focus of the participant observations in this study was to observe specific events held by Thai migrant women to which a limited number of people had been invited. The researcher expected to observe the activities, interactions, relationships, and conversations among participants at the events—Thai migrant women, their spouses, and children. The goal was to use these findings to develop a holistic understanding of the phenomenon of remitting among Thai migrant women. Four events were observed. Table 3.5 presents information about the participants’ observation of this study.

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Table 3.5 Information for Participant Observation Date

Event

3 July 2017

Merit-making Case no. 5 Ceremony to offer alms and foods to monks for opening a massage shop of Thai woman migrant

Arrange by Participants

Case no. 5 and Notes, Photos, family, Thai Voice recordings women migrants (her friends) and their husbands (mostly German), Thai monks

Evidence

10 April 2017

Merit-making Ceremony to offer alms and foods to monks for ‘Birthday celebration’ of Thai woman migrant

Case no. 3

Case no. 3 and Notes, Photos, family, Her Voice recordings German husband’s friends (all German), Thai women migrants (her friends) and their husband (all German), Thai monks

2–4 May 2017

Home visiting

Case no. 5

Case no. 5 and family (German husband and adult son)

Notes, Photos, Voice recordings

19 February 2017 Home visiting

Case no. 8

Case no. 8 and family (German husband)

Notes, Photos, Voice recordings

Table 3.5 presents information for the participant observation method used in this study. The data were collected at four events. Each event was attended by one of the chosen cases (cases 3, 5, and 8). Each event involved only a close group of people together with the researcher of this study, who was invited as a guest. This study collected data by note taking, photos and voice recordings, which was allowed by the organizers and attendees of the events.

3.4 Data Collection

3.4.2

43

Interview Method

The two interview methods applied in this study were in-depth interview and focus group interview. This study collected data through these two methods solely by face-to-face interviews, in order to capture both verbal and non-verbal behaviors as well as to observe the emotion of the interviewees during the interview session. • In-depth interview: This was considered as the primary data collection method of this research. Moreover, it was necessary to collect data face to face because this study aimed to collect data both through the verbal content of the interview and through non-verbal expressions. The data from the in-depth interviews is considered the main data to be investigated and used to address the research questions. The data from the in-depth interviews were collected by voice recording and note taking of the non-verbal expressions after the interview finished. The informants’ personal data from the in-depth interviews for this study are described below. – Eight chosen cases: the eight chosen cases were considered as the key component of this study. This study requested all the chosen cases to provide a minimum of two in-depth interviews. The second interview was required at least 10 months after the first interview, with the purpose of providing an update concerning their remitting situation in both their natal and marriage families, their attitudes towards remittance, as well as confirming their perspective on remitting in the first interview. The face-to-face interviews of the key informants were held at the participants’ homes, as requested. Table 3.6 presents the interview dates of the eight chosen cases. Table 3.6 In-Depth Interview Dates of the Eight Chosen Cases Case

1st Interview

Length/ hrs.

2nd Interview

1

January 2017

2.35

February 2018 0.34

–

2

February 2017

2.13

March 2018

0.45

–

3

November 2016

2.58

October 2017

1.12

December 2018

Length/ hrs.

3rd Interview

Length/ hrs.

0.19 (continued)

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Table 3.6 (continued) Case

1st Interview

Length/ hrs.

2nd Interview

Length/ hrs.

3rd Interview

Length/ hrs.

4

December 2016

2.19

October 2017

1.06

December 2018

0.22

5

November 2016

2.08

December 2017

1.32

January 2019

0.53

6

January 2017

1.39

December 2017

1.16

–

7

February 2017

2.54

January 2018

0.41

–

8

January 2017

2.44

February 2017 1.07

November 2018

1.13

Table 3.6 shows the interview dates of all the chosen cases in the first, second, and third rounds. The first and second round interviews were mandatory, but the third round was an optional round which depended on the preference of the interviewees. There were only four cases that allowed a third interview, namely cases 3, 4, 5, and 8. Each round of the interview was recorded and subsequently transcribed. The main data utilized was the interview data from the first-round while the second and third round interviews provided supporting data. – Family members of the chosen cases: the purpose of interviewing the family members of the chosen cases was to understand the different facets in terms of perspectives and experiences towards the remittance issue. This study did not expect to interview family members of all the chosen cases as it was not mandatory. However, it was considered as valuable data which provided more opportunity to understand the remittance behaviors and perspectives of Thai migrant women in Germany from various viewpoints. There were in total six family members of some chosen cases (cases 3, 5, and 8) who gave permission for interviews. Table 3.7 provides information about the chosen cases of family members participating in an in-depth interview. Table 3.7 shows the information of the chosen cases’ family members who agreed to provide an in-depth interview for this study. These were family members of cases 3, 5, and 8. The family members of case 3 were her younger sister, who lived in Germany by working as a baby-sitter for a German family, and her parents (interviewed together), who worked and lived in Thailand. The interview of the parents of case 3 took place in their

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Table 3.7 Information for In-Depth Interviews of Family Members of the Chosen Cases Case

Family Member

Interview

Length/hrs.

Interview place

3

1. Younger Sister

February 2018

1.25

Mainz, Germany

5 8

2. Parents

June 2019

0.28

Thailand

1. German Husband

May2017

0.32

House of case no.5

2. Adult Son

May 2017

0.36

House of case no.5

1. German Husband

February 2017

0.27

House of case no.8

house in Thailand. The family members of case 5 were her German husband and an adult son who had finished his vocational school and worked as a carpenter. The last family member was the German husband of case 8. – Experts in the field of Thai migrant women in Germany: Experts who worked with Thai migrants in Germany were invited to provide more valuable information for this research. There were in total four experts who agreed to participate in an interview. Two of the experts were from the ‘Network Thais Overseas’ (NTO) or ‘Netzwerk der Thailänder im Ausland’ in German. The third expert was a Thai monk from Thai temple in Stuttgart, Germany. The last expert was a member of Thai staff who worked in the Ban Ying organization, which saves migrant women from human trafficking in Berlin, Germany. Table 3.8 shows the interview dates and length of each expert’s interview. Table 3.8 Information on the In-Depth Interview of Experts in the Field of Thai Migrants in Germany List of Experts

Date

Length/hrs.

1. Thai Expert A Network Thais Overseas (NTO)

Institution

January 2017

1.03

2. Thai Expert B Network Thais Overseas (NTO)

February 2017 0.34

3. Thai Monk

Thai Temple, Stuttgart, Germany

May 2017

4. Thai Staff

Ban Ying Coordination and Counseling October 2017 Center, Berlin, Germany

0.29 0.37

Table 3.8 presents information on four experts in the field of Thai migrants in Germany who participated in an in-depth interview. The length of the interview was not as long as the interviews of key informants and

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their family members, because the interview focused on the topic of remittance and their work experiences on the issue of remittance of Thai migrants in Germany in terms of behaviors, perspectives, and family relations. • Focus group interview: this study used focus group interviews to gather ideas, perspectives, and experiences towards remittance of a group of Thai migrant women in Germany. The focus group interview is used as an unstructured interview with the purpose of making the group members feel comfortable sharing and discussing with each other. There were two focus group interviews in this study. The members of one group were familiar with each other because they were friends, but two members of the other group were unknown to each other. Table 3.9 below presents information on the focus group interviews of this study. Table 3.9 Information on Focus Group Interviews Group

Member

Date

Length/Hrs.

Location

1

4

November 2016

2.37

House of Thai migrant woman, Frankfurt, Germany

2

6

May 2017

2.32

Thai Temple, Stuttgart, Germany

Table 3.9 shows that the two focus group interviews were held at different times, places, and involved different groups of Thai migrant women. The focus group interview was informal in order to provide a comfortable environment for the group members. The first focus group interview consisted of four members who were all Thai migrant women married to German men, and who had children. They were all friends with one another. The interview location was at the house of one of the group members in Frankfurt, Germany. The interview took place during lunch time and lasted 2 hours and 37 minutes. The second focus group interview was at the Thai temple in Stuttgart, Germany. There were six members in this focus group interview, all Thai migrant women. Four of the participants were married to German men and had children, while the other two were divorced. The length of the second interview was 2 hours and 32 minutes. The main data was the interview data from the key informants, namely, the eight chosen cases. The other in-depth interviews with family members of cases, experts in the field of Thai migrant women in Germany, as well as the focus group interviews, provided secondary data for this study. Furthermore,

3.5 Case Selection

47

the data from both non-participant and participant observations were included in the analysis as supplementary data for this study.

3.5

Case Selection

The case selection process at the beginning of the study was important to achieve high quality data. In multiple-case design, the selection of cases needs to be driven by appropriateness and adequacy aspects in order to be able to increase the quality of the research design (Yin, 2014). To select the cases, researchers need to determine the research purpose, questions, propositions, and theoretical context. This study considers the case selection process as an obligatory stage due to the importance of the chosen cases, which played a key role in this approach. There were eight cases in total that were chosen to be the data sources. Case selection criteria and strategies to choose the cases are presented in the next section.

3.5.1

Case Selection Criteria

This study adopted a holistic multiple case study design which involved more than one case. The strategy for case selection needed to focus on the purpose of study in order to realize the external validation of the case inquiry in terms of limited generalization of the findings. The selection of case studies should not be a spontaneous activity (Yin, 2014). Particularly in multiple case designs, the selection of cases needs to appropriately answer the purpose of the study and the phenomenon under investigation, along with a consideration of its adequacy in terms of the right number of cases (Kuzel, 1999). This study focused on the remittance decision and family relationship impact among Thai woman migrants who married German citizens and permanently migrated to live in Germany. Certainly, the main criteria of the chosen cases in this study were that the participants had to be Thai women who had married German men and lived in Germany. However, there were other minor but important components that played an essential role in choosing the cases. As this study applied the multiple case study design, different aspects of the cases must be examined.

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The researcher determined the criteria of selecting eligible cases based on previous scholars’ findings, which were from Suksomboon (2008), Duangkumnerd (2009), Ruenkaew (2014), and Sinsuwan (2017). These previous scholars provided several influencing factors that might be related to different behaviors of remitting among Thai woman migrants who lived abroad, as presented in the following. • Educational background: Ruenkaew (2014) and Sinsuwan (2017) differentiated the ‘old’ and ‘new’ generations of Thai wives in Germany by their life backgrounds, which included their education level, financial status, purpose of marriage, and integration skills. The integration skill factor was importantly related to their education level. It meant that their education level would be an indicator of adaptation into a new environment and community. In her study, Duangkumnerd (2009) found that education level was very important for those who wanted to live abroad, as it was associated with learning a new language, adaptation to new communities, as well as providing an opportunity to find a job. She found that most Thai women who remitted had acquired a primary—secondary school education, but earnt less than they expected due to their inadequate German language skills. Accordingly, the study of Ruenkaew (2014) and Sinsuwan (2017) claimed that those who obtained higher education levels tended not to remit, unlike those with a low education. • Socio-economic family status: the financial status of the origin family was one of the important factors that enforced most Thai women migrant remit to their natal family (Suksomboon, 2008; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Ruenkaew, 2014). Ruenkaew (2014) and Sinsuwan (2017) claimed that the ‘new generation’ Thai wives in Germany mostly came from mid-high financial status families, which allowed them not to remit to their parents. Correspondingly, Duangkumnerd (2009) explained that poverty was the most popular reason for Thai women migrants’ remittance. However, the finding of Suksomboon (2008) showed that Thai wives from families with both poor and mid-high financial statuses remitted to their natal family, but the remittance was in different forms. Thai wives from low financial status families often remitted in the form of money while those from mid-high financial status families often sent remittance in the form of expensive presents, in particular those from rich families. Thus, this factor still needs to be studied. • Origin region in Thailand: Suksomboon (2008), Duangkumnerd (2009), Ruenkaew (2014), and Sinsuwan (2017) reported that similar outcomes identified the majority of Thai wife migrants from the North-Eastern provinces of Thailand, where living conditions were low. Most Thai migrant women from

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49

this area often got married to escape from their social and environmental constraints. They were often confronted with remittance problems because their foreign husbands did not agree with their remitting behaviors. The factor of origin region may be associated to poverty and expectation of their origin family. • Purpose of marriage: the most common reason for Thai women to get married to foreigners was to be wealthier and to live in better conditions. In short, they were expecting to escape from poverty and wanted to send money to support their origin family, particularly their parents (Suksomboon, 2008; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Ruenkaew, 2014; Sinsuwan, 2017). The women who got married with the purpose of having a better life remitted more than those who married to create their own family. Ruenkaew (2014) and Sinsuwan (2017) mention that the ‘new generation’ Thai wives in Germany behaved differently than the ‘old’ ones. They married for love and planned to have a family together with their German husbands, so they refused to rely on their husbands and built up their own careers, sharing household expenses. Differences in marriage purposes may lead to differences in remittance behaviors. Thus, the selection criteria were based on different influencing factors that were revealed by previous scholars in order to study differences and similarities across the chosen cases. The criteria were divided into two categories. The first category comprised the primary criteria, which were the common characteristics of cases that were based on the purpose of this study. All cases provided the primary criteria. The second category comprised the secondary criteria, which were the influencing factors that revealed different characteristics of cases based on findings from previous scholars (Suksomboon, 2008; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Ruenkaew, 2014; Sinsuwan, 2017). The second category determined the difference in all the chosen cases. The chosen cases must present different backgrounds according to the secondary criteria.

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Table 3.10 The criteria for case selection Primary Criteria

Description

1. Thai females

The primary criteria performed as common criteria that all the chosen cases were required to satisfy. The primary criteria were driven by the research purpose and problem.

2. Married to German men 3. Living in Germany Secondary Criteria 1. Education Level

All the chosen cases were required to have differences in these secondary criteria. The secondary criteria were driven by the findings of previous scholars; 3. Socio-economic family status Suksomboon (2008), Duangkumnerd (2009), Ruenkaew (2014), and Sinsuwan (2017), who claimed 4. Purpose of marriage different factors related to remitting behaviors and motivation among Thai migrant women living aboard. 2. Region of origin in Thailand

In Table 3.10, the primary and secondary criteria are shown for choosing the appropriate cases to answer the research questions. The primary criteria were the criteria that all the chosen cases were required to have, which meant the chosen cases needed to be Thai women married to German men and presently living in Germany. Meanwhile, the secondary criteria were factors that all the chosen cases were required to have, but the chosen cases needed to be diverse in terms of education levels, regions of origin in Thailand, socio-economic family status, and purpose of marriage. Valuable cases needed to contain as many differences as possible, so that the data of differentiation would be maximally investigated. Thus, all the cases underwent a careful selection process, which entailed a lot of time and cost.

3.5.2

Case Selection Strategies

After the case selection criteria for this study were set, strategies for selecting suitable cases were needed. As Yin (2014) mentions, case selection should not be an unsystematic process, a purposeful sampling strategy is required to be applied to select the information-rich cases which would enable the researcher to illuminate the questions under study. The case selection of this study was influenced by the purposeful sampling strategies of Patton (1990), who provided sixteen different strategies to select the information-rich cases. The logic of each sampling strategy provided the difference purpose, process, and outcome. To be selected,

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the cases needed to suit the study purpose, questions, and the phenomenon under study. Patton suggests that the sampling strategies could be combined with more than one approach to reach the high potential of the study. Most important is that the chosen cases provide rich information about the phenomenon and were worthy of in-depth study. This study decided to use the combination approach to effectively select suitable cases. A total of five purposeful sampling strategies of Patton (1990) were applied in this study during the case selection process. These five sampling strategies were divided into two stages. The first stage was the fieldwork stage for recruiting the cases. This stage was performed as a prior stage to broadly search for cases in order to make a specific selection later. The second stage aimed to determine the chosen cases according to the selection criteria and the quality of interview data (Table 3.11). Table 3.11 Two Stages of the Purposeful Sampling Strategies for Case Study Selection

Purposeful Sampling Stages

Purposeful Sampling Strategies

Fieldwork determined cases

Snowball sampling

Different Cases

Criterion sampling

Opportunistic sampling Maximum variation sampling Stratified purposeful sampling

The first fieldwork stage, determining the cases, made use of two sampling strategies, namely snowball and opportunistic sampling. This stage was a prior stage to identify people who were potential informants of the phenomenon, namely Thai migrant women living in Germany with their husbands. Snowball sampling was used as an initial approach in order to explore the Thai community in Germany and identify Thai women migrants who could possibly be volunteers or refer the researcher to other interesting informants. The aim of this sampling was to identify as many Thai migrant women in Germany as possible in order to increase the possibility of obtaining a large number of interesting cases. Meanwhile, opportunistic sampling was adopted to take advantage of circumstances during the data collection process, in case there was an opportunity to meet an interesting informant.

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The second stage, the different cases stage, aimed to select the optimal cases that would enable enriched and in-depth information to be drawn from their experiences and perspectives towards the remittance phenomenon. There were in total three purposeful sampling strategies applied in this stage: the criterion, maximum variation, and stratified purposeful samplings. Each approach provided a specific purpose and outcome. Firstly, all the chosen cases were required to meet the study criteria, particularly the primary criteria. This study required all cases to be Thai migrant women who had married German men and who lived in Germany with their marriage families. The criterion sampling used a questionnaire to obtain each case’s sociodemographic and personal information and reviewed the data to affirm that the primary criteria of this study had been met. It was necessary to ensure that all of the chosen cases qualified, as they were the key informants who were to provide crucial data for this research. Meanwhile, according to the secondary criteria of this study, it was attempted to choose cases so that the education levels, regions of origin in Thailand, socioeconomic family status, and the purpose of marriage were as diverse as possible. Maximum variation sampling was well suited for capturing the heterogeneity of the informants. Selecting diverse characteristics of Thai wives according to the secondary criteria was important as it may reveal the factors that influenced the remittance decisions and behaviors among Thai wives in Germany. The nominated informants of this sampling process would be interviewed with the purpose of learning more about their biographies, which needed to be as different from each other as possible, as well as to certify their quality of data in terms of experiences and perspectives related to remittance. Lastly, stratified sampling was employed to identify final representatives among the nominated informants to be the chosen cases for this study. After the maximum variation sampling, the nominated informants from the maximum variation sampling would be separated into groups according to their homogeneity. The nominated informants would be interviewed with the purpose of learning about their life backgrounds, examining their qualifications based on the secondary criteria, and confirming their information quality. Then, the best nominated informants of each group would be selected as the chosen cases for this study by stratified purposeful sampling. The final round of sampling was expected to recruit the best cases likely to offer enriched and in-depth data as well as meeting the requirement of heterogeneity. This study applied the purposeful sampling strategies respectively according to the sampling stages and the purposes of each sampling method. The period of the case selection process was 11 months between June 2016 and April 2017.

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A summary of the number of voluntary informants that were recruited by each purposeful sampling method is provided in Table 3.12. Table 3.12 Summary of the number of voluntary informants by means of the purposeful sampling strategies Purposeful Sampling Stages

Purposeful Sampling Strategies

Fieldwork determined cases

Snowball sampling: Date and Locations

Number of Informants

• 12 June 2016: ‘FANG LUUK NIMIT’ at 24 Wat Charoen Dham, Lügde, Germany • 30–31 July 2016: Thai Festival Event in 36 Bad Hamburg  13–14 August 2016: Thai Park in Berlin

9

 30 October 2016: ‘Thot Kathin’ at Wat Phra Dhammakaya, Ingelheim am Rhein, Germany

18

Opportunistic sampling Total Different Cases

Total

7 94

Criterion sampling

72

Maximum Variation sampling

30

Stratified purposeful sampling

8 8

In Table 3.12, the number of voluntary informants of each sampling method was presented. The number of informants in the fieldwork determined cases stage was 94 in total. Among these, 87 informants were from the snowball sampling and 7 informants from the opportunistic sampling. Later, in the different cases stage, there were 72 informants identified through the criterion sampling. Then, in the maximum variation sampling, there were 30 informants, and in the final stratified purposeful sampling stage, 8 informants had been selected to be the cases of this study. In the fieldwork determined cases stage the snowball sampling method was used in the first step of sampling. This study decided to seek informants during important Thai events in Germany, where many Thai people gathered. There were in total four important Thai events in Germany that were chosen for the snowball sampling. First, the ‘Fang Luuk Nimit’ event on 12th June 2016 at the Thai temple named ‘Wat Charoen Dham’ in Lügde, Germany. In the beginning,

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there were 6 Thai women who agreed to participate in our study, then the number extended to 24 informants in total after the recommendation of informants. Second, the Thai Festival Event on 30-31st July 2016 in Bad Hamburg, which was the biggest and most important event for Thai people living in Germany. There were 15 Thai women who agreed to be a part of this study at this event, and after that, thanks to recommendations, another 21 interested informants joined the study. Third, during Thai Park in Berlin between 13–14 August 2016, there were 3 Thai women who were interested in participating in this study during the meeting, with a further 6 joining later. The fourth was the ‘Thot Kathin’ event on 30 October 2016 at the Thai temple named ‘Wat Phra Dhammakaya’ in Ingelheim am Rhein, Germany. There were 12 individuals interested in joining this research, and 6 more informants were recommended later. The number of volunteer informants joining the study through the snowball sampling was 87 in total. Meanwhile, 7 informants joined through the opportunistic sampling. In the different determined cases stage, optimal cases were selected for the study out of the 94 informants who had been recruited in the fieldwork stage. The different determined cases stage intensively selected the appropriate cases for this study. It began with the criterion sampling to examine the volunteer informants’ qualifications. All informants from the fieldwork determined cases stage were required to fill in a questionnaire which briefly asked for their personal information. There were 22 informants who were removed during this process, due to two reasons: 1) their marriage status: 8 informants were divorced, 4 informants were single (planning to get married), and 3 informants were not married to German citizens; 2) they were uncomfortable about sharing their life experiences; there were 7 informants who decided to drop out for this reason. Then, all 72 informants who passed the criterion sampling would be selected by the maximum variation sampling. There were 30 informants who underwent the maximum variation sampling process and all 30 informants were required to provide an in-depth interview. However, there were 26 informants who dropped out before this sampling stage, because they were unable to provide an appropriate time for an interview session. The purpose of the in-depth interview was to learn their life stories in terms of their biography, family background, education background, marriage background, and their current life in Germany, so that there was sufficient information to select the optimal cases in the next sampling step. For all informants who agreed to the in-depth interview it was compulsory to sign a letter of consent for participation in this research. Table 3.13 presents the interview periods and the characteristics of the 30 participants who were selected by means of the maximum variation sampling process.

3.5 Case Selection

55

Table 3.13 Participants from the Maximum Variation Sampling Participant

Age

Origin Region in Thailand

Education level

Family Financial Interview Date status

1

34

Northeastern

Bachelor

Low

October 2016

2

35

Central

Bachelor

Mid

October 2016

3

52

Central

Bachelor

Low-mid

November 2016

4

29

Northern

Bachelor

Mid-high

November 2016

5

31

Eastern

Bachelor

Mid-high

November 2016

6

45

Eastern

Bachelor

Mid-high

November 2016

7

25

Northeastern

Bachelor

Mid-high

November 2016

8

22

Northeastern

High School Low-mid

November 2016

9

48

Northeastern

High School Low-mid

November 2016

10

49

Northeastern

Junior High School

Low

November 2016

11

34

Northeastern

Bachelor

Low-mid

December 2016

12

52

Northeastern

Junior High School

Low-mid

December 2016

13

47

Northeastern

Bachelor

Mid

December 2016

14

38

Northeastern

Bachelor

Low

December 2016

15

26

Northern

Junior High School

Low

December 2016

16

40

Central

Bachelor

Low-mid

January 2017

17

36

Central

Junior High School

Low

January 2017

18

32

Northeastern

Bachelor

Low-mid

January 2017

19

43

Northeastern

Primary School

Low-mid

January 2017

20

40

Northeastern

High School Low-mid

January 2017

21

33

Southern

High School Low

January 2017

22

36

Central

Bachelor

Low-mid

January 2017

23

31

Northeastern

Primary School

Low-mid

January 2017

24

34

Northeastern

Bachelor

Low-mid

February 2017

25

42

Northeastern

Bachelor

Mid-high

February 2017 (continued)

56

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Research Methodology

Table 3.13 (continued) Participant

Age

Origin Region in Thailand

Education level

Family Financial Interview Date status

26

36

Northeastern

High School Low

February 2017

27

43

Central

Master

Mid-high

February 2017

28

46

Central

Vocational

Low

29

46

Southern

High School Low-mid

March 2017

30

29

Northern

Bachelor

March 2017

Low-mid

February 2017

Table 3.13 lists details of the 30 participants who volunteered to be interviewees for this study. The interviews were conducted between October 2016 and March 2017. The age of the participants was between 22 and 52. The majority of the participants were from the Northeastern region of Thailand. Most participants had graduated with a bachelor’s degree. Meanwhile, most of the participants were from families with a low-mid financial status. The participants’ family financial status was defined according to their perception towards their parents’ careers and the financial support they received from their parents. After the in-depth interview, participants were grouped according to their homogeneity in order to select a representative of each group, thus selecting the optimal cases for this study. Participants were first divided into groups based on their origin region in Thailand, then their differences were examined in terms of education levels and family financial status. During this process, ten participants withdrew from being interviewed, namely participants 1, 2, 5, 6, 9, 11, 12, 20, 27 and 29, due to two reasons: 1) feeling uncomfortable about being interviewed about the remittance issue (participants 1, 2, and 6); and 2) the interview not being approved by their husband (participants 5, 9, 11, 12, 20, 27, and 29). Table 3.14 presents the five groups that formed after gathering them into their regions of origin in Thailand, as well as those cases who withdrew.

3.5 Case Selection

57

Table 3.14 Five groups of participants and their socio-demographics Group 1. Central

2. Northern

3. Northeastern

No. 2

Age

Education level

Family Status

Participating Status

35

Bachelor

Mid

Withdrawn: Uncomfortable with the remitting topic

3

52

Bachelor

Low-mid

Join

16

40

Bachelor

Low-mid

Join

17

36

Junior High School

Low

Join

22

36

Bachelor

Low-mid

Join

27

43

Master

Mid-high

Withdrawn: Unapproved by husband

28

46

Vocational

Low

Join

4

29

Bachelor

Mid-high

Join

15

26

Junior High School

Low

Join

30

29

Bachelor

Low-mid

Join

1

34

Bachelor

Low

Withdrawn: Uncomfortable with the remitting topic

7

25

Bachelor

Mid-high

Join

8

22

High School

Low-mid

Join

9

48

High School

Low-mid

Withdrawn: Unapproved by husband

10

49

Junior High School

Low

Join

11

34

Bachelor

Low-mid

Withdrawn: Unapproved by husband

12

52

Junior High School

Low-mid

Withdrawn: Unapproved by husband

13

47

Bachelor

Mid

Join

14

38

Bachelor

Low

Join (continued)

58

3

Research Methodology

Table 3.14 (continued) Group

4. Eastern

5. Southern

No.

Age

Education level

Family Status

Participating Status

18

32

Bachelor

Low-mid

Join

19

43

Primary School

Low-mid

Join

20

40

High School

Low-mid

Withdrawn: Unapproved by husband

23

31

Primary School

Low-mid

Join

24

34

Bachelor

Low-mid

Join

25

42

Bachelor

Mid-high

Join

26

36

High School

Low

Join

5

31

Bachelor

Mid-high

Withdrawn: Unapproved by husband

6

45

Bachelor

Mid-high

Withdrawn: Uncomfortable with the remitting topic

21

33

High School

Low

Join

29

46

High School

Low-mid

Withdrawn: Unapproved by husband

Lastly, after the grouping, stratified purposeful sampling was used to select the optimal informants who could provide enriched and in-depth data. The different backgrounds of each case with respect to family socio-economic status, education levels, origin region, previous career, and reason for marriage, were significant recruitment criteria. The purpose of the finalized sampling stage was to seek those cases that would enable an examination of the differences of influence of those backgrounds. Furthermore, in this process, the level of involvement and readiness of the participants to provide personal information as well as their commitment to this research was also an important concern. In this final sampling process, eight cases were selected to be the key informants for this study. They are presented in Table 3.15. Table 3.15 presents the eight cases that were selected from the five groups through the five purposeful sampling strategies. This research considered each

3.5 Case Selection

59

Table 3.15 The chosen cases from the stratified purposeful sampling Case no.

Number

Age

Origin Region in Thailand

Education level

Family Financial status

Interview Date

1

16

40

Central

Bachelor

Low-mid

January 2017

2

28

46

Central

Vocational

Low

February 2017

3

4

29

Northern

Bachelor

Mid-high

November 2016

4

15

26

Northern

Junior High School

Low

December 2016

5

10

49

Northeastern

Junior High School

Low

November 2016

6

18

32

Northeastern

Bachelor

Low-mid

January 2017

7

25

42

Northeastern

Bachelor

Mid-high

February 2017

8

21

33

Southern

High School

Low

January 2017

case as a key source of information to be analyzed. The homogeneous characteristic of the eight cases was inherent in that they were all Thai women married to German men and living in Germany with their marriage family. Meanwhile, the heterogeneous characteristic of each case was reflected in their origin region in Thailand, education level, and their family financial status.

3.5.3

Determining the number of cases

There were in total eight cases that were selected for this study. The number of cases was considered based on the appropriateness and the adequacy of the quality of the cases’ data in terms of enriched, in-depth, and diverse information, along with the recommendations of previous scholars (Eisenhardt, 1989; Crabtree & Miller, 1992; Curran & Blackburn, 2001; Yin, 2014) on the adequate number of cases. Certainly, the suggested number of cases to be considered in qualitative inquiries is not precise (Eisenhardt, 1989; Crabtree & Miller, 1992; Curran &

60

3

Research Methodology

Blackburn, 2001; Patton, 1990; Yin, 2014). The suitable sample size depends on the purpose of study, the phenomenon under investigation, the available time and resources, and the concentration of the study’s credibility. The researcher should made decisions according to all these influences (Patton, 1990; Yin, 2014). Yin (2014) recommends that the researcher should focus on gaining enriched and various aspects of data from the cases rather than on the number of cases, and would be better advised to concentrate on the complexity of managing and analyzing the data provided by each case. Similarly, Patton (1990) recommends the minimum sample size for the qualitative study designs by focusing on a reasonable coverage of the phenomenon given the purpose of the study, rather than aiming for a large but inadequate sample size. According to recommendations of previous scholars, there have been some suggestions for the appropriate number of cases for qualitative case research. • Eisenhardt (1989) suggested that between four and ten cases often provided effective work. • Crabtree and Miller (1992) believed a sample size between six to eight subjects to be optimal. • Yin (2014) indicated that the appropriated number of cases should be six to eight for a multiple-case design. • Curran and Blackburn (2001) advocated that case studies should involve ten or fewer participants. Thus, the number of cases in this study was considered and selected according both to recommendations from previous scholars and to the quality of data provided by the cases. Moreover, the chosen cases were selected according to the requirement criteria, the level of involvement and, most importantly, the participant’s commitment agreement. This study expected to obtain in-depth data which had to be voluntarily provided by participants. Also, the willing involvement of participants was an important aspect to ensure rich data and various perspectives for this study.

3.6

Data Analysis

The data analysis process of this study was divided into three stages: (1) transcription and filed note review; (2) within-case analysis; and (3) cross-case analysis. The thematic analysis approach was used to analyze the data (Stake, 1995; Yin, 2014). Additionally, the inductive approach was used as the study itself aimed to

3.6 Data Analysis

61

understand the remittance practices among Thai migrant women, which meant an interpretation was required. 1. Transcription and Note Review The basic principle of data analysis in qualitative research means that the data analysis should be conducted simultaneously with the data collection (Stake, 1995; Maxwell, 1996; Yin, 2014). In this study, the in-depth and focus group interviews were recorded on an audio recorder and non-verbal expressions were recorded in notes made after the interview session. Each interview was transcribed immediately after the interview session to ensure the greatest accuracy. Further, the non-verbal communication cues made by the informants during the interview sessions were added as details of each case separately. In this process, the transcription of each interview was read several times in order to make detailed notes, to highlight the significant issues and experiences, and to become familiar with data as well as to prepare for the next stage; the within-case analysis stage. Additionally, the observation field notes of both participants and non-participants were reviewed several times to capture the relation to the cases and the phenomenon under study, namely the remittance issue, as well as to observe the details of each field note to become familiar with the data. 2. Within-case Analysis: Thematic analysis After the transcripts and notes were developed into coherent and manageable content, the data were structured in order to be used in the next stage of crosscase analysis. The data of the eight cases was analyzed at this stage as the main data from the key informants. The within-case analysis of this study applied the thematic analysis as the template approach. The purpose of the thematic analysis was to identify, analyze, and report the themes that emerged from the data in order to describe the phenomenon under study (Braun & Clarke, 2006). This research applied the latent thematic analysis approach to identify the underlying ideas, meanings, and to develop the data structure. This study adopted the thematic analysis steps outlined by Braun and Clarke (2006), which involves six phases: 1) Familiarizing with the data: this phase involved the ‘repeated reading’ of the data in an active manner in terms of searching for meaning, to integrate the ideas for coding and to identify patterns. Active repeated reading aims to search for details to analyze in order to identify potential coding schemes. 2) Generating initial codes: this phase produced the initial codes from the entire dataset of eight cases. The data would be organized into the meaning groups. Along with the coding process, the data was interpreted to identify the hidden

62

3)

4)

5)

6)

3

Research Methodology

meanings, ideas, and concepts in order to look for interesting aspects in the data. The initial codes were produced in this phase, both the dataset of the eight cases and the secondary informants. Searching for themes: this phase examined all the different codes and relevant data to identify the significant broader themes. This study began by sorting the codes into main-themes and sub-themes in terms of the sense of the significance of each theme. Then, all the themes would be reviewed for viability. Reviewing themes: this phase concentrated on reviewing and refining the candidate themes. All the themes would be reviewed in the coded data extracts to yield a coherent pattern of themes, both for the homogeneity in the theme itself and heterogeneity of the different themes. The codes within the themes were examined to check their coherency in terms of meanings. Meanwhile, all the themes were reviewed to confirm a clear distinction between them. For the themes that were considered not to make sense, they would be refined by creating new themes for its codes or by placing the codes into other relevant themes. The review and refining process would be repeated until the themes suitably matched the dataset and all the codes were placed within themes. At the end of this phase, the essence and meaning of all the themes were presented. Defining and naming themes: This phase involves developing a detailed analysis of each theme. Each theme identified a story that the data presented regarding the research questions of this study. Each theme would be examined in order to avoid an overlap between them. Additionally, all the sub-themes within the same theme would be considered and identified. After all the themes were clearly defined and scoped, each theme would be provided with a working name related to its content and essence. Writing up: according to the thematic analysis steps of Braun and Clarke (2006), this phase would involve writing the report after working on the final analysis. However, this was not the final phase of the present study, as it was solely a within-case analysis where all the themes and analysis results would be subsequently analyzed in the cross-case analysis stage. In this phase, the themes of each case would be reviewed to confirm their conciseness, coherency, logic, and essence in the story. A description of each case would be briefly written for interpretative analysis in the cross-case analysis stage.

3. Cross-case Analysis: Determining Findings In this phase, the clustered themes generated by the previous stages and the assigned codes within each theme were properly scrutinized. As the

3.7 Ethical Practices

63

within-case analysis was followed by the latent thematic analysis approach, a cross-case analysis stage was also utilized in this study and the themes in the within-case analysis were inductively analyzed by the cross-case analysis. The emerged themes from all eight cases were categorized into broad concepts in order to synthesize across cases. The final themes were those that were produced from this last categorization that cut across the cases. The central themes were created based on the research questions and drawn together with the related themes. This stage included writing a report of the final analysis, which would be provided in the narrative analytic form.

3.7

Ethical Practices

The ethical issue was a primary concern of this study because the data were collected from human participants. The process of informed consent in this study was tailored to inform the informants of their rights and the risks and benefits related to their participation in this research. All the informants who provided the in-depth interviews were required to sign a letter of consent to prove that they agreed to share their information, experiences, and perspectives voluntarily for this research. The informed consent process also involved a verbal discussion with the possible informants in addition to the consent letter. Before signing their consent, all informants obtained all the information related to this study and clearly provided his/her voluntary approval for participating in this research and knew that they could withdraw at any time during the study. Additionally, according to Stake (1995) and Yin (2014), there is a rising issue of a disclosure and protection covenant in the qualitative case study approach. Information about the participants could prompt readers to identify who they were through reading and interpreting the results. Thus, all participants’ names were typically treated anonymously in this research. The interview recording was subsequently anonymized and transcribed. The interview records would be stored on a password-protected (encrypted) computer which housed all data and was not shared with any person. Furthermore, any personal information that may lead to identification of the cases, such as origin city, current city, institution, workplace, and so on, would be hidden to protect the informants. Lastly, the interview transcription would not be made public if participants did not grant permission to do so. Additionally, participants would receive the findings of this study. For this reason, this study has not attached the interview transcriptions and data analysis in the appendix section.

64

3.8

3

Research Methodology

Position of the Researcher

In qualitative research, there are concerns about the methodology regarding the relation between a researcher and a participant. The process of producing knowledge is influenced by the researcher’s thought processes, experiences, selfawareness, reasons for conducting the research, and the position of the researcher during the research process (Stake, 1995; Hellawell, 2006; Berger, 2013). In this research, I positioned myself as a doctoral student conducting research on the remittance topic among Thai married migrant women in Germany. All informants knew me as a Thai doctoral candidate studying in the Transnational Social Support program at Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz (JGU), Mainz, Germany, and they were the interviewees who shared the perspectives, experiences, and life stories related to the remittance issue. All informants agreed to be interviewed voluntarily. Indeed, all informants and the Thai community considered me as a group member rather than a researcher due to my connection with the Thai people, which provided familiarization with the community in terms of language, culture, norms, and so on. The benefit of being an insider was the ease of access to the Thai community to seek informants and to get into the personal events of Thai migrants in Germany. Also, the positive relationship between me and all the participants helped most informants to feel confident when providing their life stories, thanks to trustworthiness. However, it is important to balance involvement and estrangement between researcher and participants (Hellawell, 2006). The homogeneous traits that connected me and the informants were of course nationality, culture, language, as well as the feeling of living far from a homeland, which results in a sympathetic feeling. However, the distinctly heterogeneous trait was marital status. As I was a student and not married, my single status would provide a distance between me and the informants in terms of marriage experiences, bi-cultural marriage, relationship agreements, and so on. The advantage of estrangement was that the informants would provide rich information related to marriage experiences. Although, there was an estrangement in the relation between me and the informants, the relationship remained positive.

3.9

Limitations

This study featured limited conditions which can be divided into two categories. The first limitation is related to common critiques of the qualitative research methodology in general, and the second limitation was inherent to this study’s research design. Although this study attempted to minimize the limitations by

3.9 Limitations

65

applying triangulation in the data collection and analysis procedures, the qualitative research approach in itself contains the limitation. The qualitative research approach in general is limited by the researcher subjectivity. The research ultimately relied on the thinking and choices of the researcher. The full participation of the researcher would provide a potential bias regarding the framing of the study and their assumptions, interests, beliefs, perceptual lens, and expectations. This study attempted to account for this limitation by involving a second interpretation of the data provided by the Transnational Social Support Research Training Group, Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz (JGU), in cases where meanings should be verified. Additionally, this research was scrutinized by my advisor and the transnational social support research training group of Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz (JGU). Another limitation of the qualitative research methodology is that the participants’ reactivity might have been influenced or affected by the researcher. Maxwell (1996) defined the participants’ reactivity as “the influence of the researcher on the setting or the individuals studied”. The influence of the researcher on the participants’ reaction can have a significant effect on the data collection process in terms of bias. In this study, the researcher was fully responsible for the collected data and took the role of the interviewer. The researcher built up relationships with the interviewees before the interview session, particularly the key informants, because such a topic as remittance was sensitive and highly personal, hence, gaining trust from the interviewees was important. However, the interviewees’ responses may have been influenced or affected by the researcher. The interviewees might try to overly cooperate with the researcher by offering responses which they believed the researcher was looking for. Alternatively, the interviewees might be guarded and less candid in their responses due to their familiarity with the researcher. Aside from the bias and reactivity issues, a further major limitation of this study was the interview language. As most participants in this study were Thai, the Thai language was the preferred language during the interview sessions in most personal and all focus group interviews. The translation from Thai to English was necessary in this study, which entailed the risk of a loss of meaning and the misrepresentation of some critical words or sentences. Recognizing this limitation, to avoid misinterpretation, the data analysis, particularly the interpreting and coding of data, would mostly be in the Thai language as it was the language used by the informants during the interviews and focus groups.

4

Background Information

This chapter aims to describe the life backgrounds of the eight chosen cases of this study, including their personal information and information about their origin family, husband and children, and their life stories before and after marriage with reference to the remittance issue. The purpose of this chapter is to introduce the life stories of all eight chosen cases, thus depicting each case’s life as a basis to interpret the findings in the following chapter. The background information will be divided into two parts. First, the general part presents the background information of the eight cases in data tables, giving an overall picture of all eight cases which can be used to compare similarities and differences across the cases. The important data of the eight cases will be provided briefly in the tables. The second part aims to describe the life story of each case in detail, with the purpose of providing an in-depth understanding of each case’s life background and their current life, particularly their family relationships both with their natal and marriage families, along with a recount of their reasons for remittance through their life story.

© The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Fachmedien Wiesbaden GmbH, part of Springer Nature 2023 K. Haklin, Remittance of Thai Female Marriage Migrants in Germany, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-658-41686-7_4

67

68

4

Background Information

This research employed pseudonyms for all the chosen cases to ensure that their data could not be traced back in reports, presentations, and other forms of dissemination. The use of pseudonyms was agreed by all the chosen cases. All cases preferred to conceal their real names. In this study, the real names of the cases will be replaced by using flower names instead. All eight key informants were asked to suggest a flower name for themselves as their pseudonyms. Additionally, the cases suggested pseudonyms for their husbands and other family members who provided in-depth interviews. The pseudonyms of the cases and their family members are presented in Table 4.1. Table 4.1 The Pseudonyms of the Eight Cases Case Number

Pseudonym of case

Pseudonym of husband

1

Tulip

Tony

2

Daisy

Danny

3

Rose

Ryan

4

Jasmine

Jo

5

Orchid

Oliver

6

Poppy

Peter

7

Lotus

Rome

8

Lilly

Luka

Pseudonym of other family member

Sister: Rita Son: Oscar

Having selected the pseudonyms, they will be used as the cases’ names in this study hereafter. (Table 4.2) (Table 4.3) (Table 4.4).

4.1

Part 1: The Data Tables of the Eight Cases’ Background Information

Age

40

46

29

26

49

32

42

33

Case

Tulip

Daisy

Rose

Jasmine

Orchid

Poppy

Lotus

Lilly

Buddhism

Buddhism

Buddhism

Buddhism

Buddhism

Buddhism

Buddhism

Buddhism

Religion

Southern

Northeastern

Northeastern

Northeastern

Northern

Northern

Central

Central

Part of Thailand

High School

Bachelor

Bachelor

Junior High School

Junior High School

Master

Vocational

Bachelor

Education Level

Low

Mid-high

Low-mid

Low

Low

Mid-high

Low

Mid

Family Financial Status

Table 4.2 Personal Background and Remittance Information Before Marriage

Bargirl

Nurse

Office worker

Farmer

Bargirl

Shop owner

Bargirl

Tour guide

Previous Occupation

15–30,000

More than 30,000

15,000

Less than 10,000

15–30,000

More than 100,000

15–25,000

More than 30,000

Income/ month (Thai Baht)

15,000 + extra (when requested) – Family Living Expenses – Nephew’s education

15–20,000

5–8,000

– All of income

15–30,000 – Grandmother – Brother’s education

20–40,000

15–20,000 – Daughters’ education – Parent

20–30,000

Remittance (Thai Baht)

4.1 Part 1: The Data Tables of the Eight Cases’ Background Information 69

Living States

Schleswig-Holstein

Brandenburg

Bavaria

Saxony

Baden-Württemberg

Rhineland-Palatinate

Bavaria

Hesse

Cases

Tulip

Daisy

Rose

Jasmine

Orchid

Poppy

Lotus

Lilly

1

3 No

German Language A2

No

No

German Language B1

German Language B2

German Language A2 Driving License

German Language B2

Education Achievement

Housewife

Cleaner (Part-time)

Cleaner (part-time)

Cleaner/ Thai massage owner

Elderly care (part-time)

Housewife

Gardener

Cleaner (part-time)

Occupation

No income

1,000e up

100–200e

1,000e up

Job: 800e Husband: 300e

500e from husband for groceries and personal expenses

800–900e

100e

Income/month (Euro)

Husband: 100–150e

Husband: 250–300e

50% of income/ month

More than 1,000e/month + extra (requested)

Minimum 500e/month

1,200e per 6 months + extra money when visiting Thai family

– 400–500e for daughters’ education – 200e (mother: 100e / father: 100e) + extra when requested

– Husband: 5,000 Baht/ month – Tulip: 50–100e/month

Remittance

4

0.4

26

3

2.6

6

3

Stay Length (year)

Table 4.3 Personal and Remittance Information after Migrating to Germany

70 Background Information

Length of Marriage (Years)

4

6

3

3

26

Cases

Tulip

Daisy

Rose

Jasmine

Orchid

– Age: 54 years old – Work: Engineer

– Age: 46 years old – Work: Office worker

– Age:35 years old – Work: Programmer

– Age: 45 years old – Work: Engineer

– Age: 51 years old – Divorced with 2 sons – Work: Accountant

Husband

Family Financial Responsibility

– Housewife – Buying groceries (300e/month from husband)

– Housewife – Buying groceries + personal expenses (500e/month from husband)

1 son (24 years – Housewife old) – Buying groceries (1,000e/month from husband)

no children

2 sons (2 years, 8 months)

Daisy: 2 – Housewife daughters from – Buying groceries previous marriage

no children – Housewife (plan to have a – Buying groceries child) (600e/month from husband)

Children

Table 4.4 Marriage Family Information and Agreement of Remittance Financial Plan (After Retirement)

Extremely disagree

Extremely disagree

Extremely disagree

Extremely disagree

– No savings – No plan – Expect to rely on husband and son (continued)

No personal savings and no plan

– Savings in Thailand (Sin-Sod) – No confirmed plan after retirement

– No personal savings – Expected to rely on retirement money

Disagree but – No personal savings begin to – Plan to move to understand Thailand after retirement (husband’s idea)

Remittance Agreement (Husband)

4.1 Part 1: The Data Tables of the Eight Cases’ Background Information 71

Length of Marriage (Years)

1

3

1

Cases

Poppy

Lotus

Lilly

Table 4.4 (continued)

– Age: 50 years old – Work: Consultant – Salary: 5,000e

– Age: 60 years old – Work: Doctor – Salary: 3,000e

– Age: 33 years old – Work: Construction Site

Husband

no children (husband’s decision)

no children

no children

Children

– Housewife duty

– Housewife duty – Buying groceries (husband; 150e/ week)

– Housewife duty – No money from Husband

Family Financial Responsibility – No personal savings – No plan – Cannot rely on husband

Financial Plan (After Retirement)

Extremely disagree/ convincing not to remit

– No personal savings – No confirmed plan after retirement

Disagree but – No personal savings accepted – Plan to permanently move to Thailand

Extremely disagree

Remittance Agreement (Husband)

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4.2 Part 2: Life Stories

4.2

Part 2: Life Stories

4.2.1

Case 1: Tulip

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Interview Period: January 2017 / February 2018 Introduction: Tulip was 40 years old when she provided the 1st interview. She got married and moved to Germany in 2013. Meanwhile, her husband, Tony was 51 years old during the interview period. She had been married to Tony for 4 years and had been living in Germany for 3 years. At the time of the interview, she worked as a part-time cleaner at Tony’s office. Personal and Family Background: Tulip came from the central region of Thailand. She came from a middle-class family. Her parents owned a small restaurant which earned sufficiently to support their family. Tulip was raised together with her four siblings: two brothers and two sisters. She had a happy childhood. Tulip and her siblings were fully supported by their parents in every aspect of their lives, particularly in education. During this period, she and her siblings knew that their parents had to work extremely hard and sacrifice a lot for them, so they planned to take care of their parents whenever they could. The turning point of her family was when her brother and his wife passed away and left a newborn son with the family. Her family needed to move to live in a suburb because the baby had a severe allergic reaction. At that point, she and her siblings asked their parents not to work anymore and take care of their nephew instead. The agreement among the siblings was that everyone who worked had to send remittances to their parents. Thus, after Tulip started to work as a tour guide, she remitted to her parents every month. The amount of remittance depended on her income each month. She normally remitted to her parents around 50–60% of her income. Getting Married: Tulip met Tony accidentally in the beginning of 2012 when Tony was on holiday with his son in Thailand. They started dating. She liked Tony because he was interested in Thai culture, architecture, landscape, and Thai people. They got married one year later because Tulip could not get a visiting visa to go to Germany. Along with that was the concern about her age. She decided not to have a wedding nor requested Sin-Sod (dowry) from Tony, which her parents disagreed with in the beginning, but she convinced her parents that she did not want Tony to think of her as a gold-digger. Also, she knew that it would be too difficult for her to explain the meaning of Sin-Sod and he would never understand it. Beginning of Marriage Life: In the beginning of living together in Germany, there were many conflicts between Tulip and Tony. The biggest problem was

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about money. Tulip requested some monthly expenses and money to remit from Tony as she was a full-time housewife and had no income. She insisted on remitting to her parents every month. Tony strongly refused this. He neither understood the reason for remittance nor gave money to Tulip as her monthly expense. On the other hand, he asked Tulip to be responsible in being a good housewife e.g., cleaning, cooking, buying groceries, and to do a monthly ledger account. She disagreed. This argument lasted for months. Tulip was very disappointed and bored of the endless fighting. In the end, she compromised with Tony by only requiring the monthly remittance for her parents. She lied to Tony that the money was for her nephew. Additionally, another reason why Tony accepted to send money was because he planned to permanently move to Thailand after retirement and live on the land and property provided by Tulip’s parents. Thus, she used this reason to negotiate with him. She thought it was unfair that he wanted her parent’s property for free without providing them anything. In the end, he accepted to send 5,000 Thai Baht per month. Although the remittance problem had more or less been solved and Tulip had accepted to be a housewife, as Tony insisted, and let Tony be the leader of the family, there was another conflict. Tulip wanted to work in order to earn money and be able to send remittance by herself instead of asking Tony for support, but he did not agree. He explained that German people could be mean to her. After a long negotiation over three years, Tony accepted Tulip to work as a part-time cleaner in his office. She was not happy with this position as she would have preferred to work full-time in a proper job which was suitable for her knowledge and capacity, but she accepted it as it seemed to be her only option. Thus, she was a housewife and worked as a part-time cleaner. She earned around 100 euro per month and she often remitted most of her income to her parents, particularly to her mother. Cultural Transmission: Tulip got along with her mother-in-law very well and she treated her as her own mother. Tony’s mother usually visited them once a year and stayed with them for one month. During that month, Tony and his mother had strict rules of payment. They paid everything separately. Tulip could not understand it. It contrasted with her beliefs. She believed it was an adult child’s duty to take care of their parents. She convinced Tony to pay for his mother and he accepted it. His mother was surprised and appreciated Tulip’s initiative, which changed Tony to be a better person. Meanwhile, Tony changed his perspective towards Tulip’s family after several visits to them in Thailand. Everyone in Tulip’s family takes care of Tony very well. He never had to pay for anything during his stay in Thailand. Additionally, he became interested in Buddhism and Thai culture thanks to the family. Tony loved Thailand so much

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that he really wanted to live there as soon as possible. However, Tulip believed that Tony did not entirely understand Thai culture. She believed that he could not easily adapt to it because he had lived in his way for too long. Remittance: Tony wanted to increase the amount of remittance because he appreciated the kindness of Tulip’s family, particularly her parents, and wanted to repay them. However, Tulip denied it. She knew that Tony did not understand the reason for her remittance. She thought that Tony might think negatively about her and her family if he sent money more than agreed. She preferred to work and send money by herself without asking Tony for help. Marriage Plan: They planned to have a child and Tony preferred Tulip to be fully responsible to raise their child to become Thai. He preferred Thai children’s manners more than those of German children regarding respect for elders, arguments with parents, and care for parents when they grew up. Tulip agreed and was happy with this decision. Retirement Plan: Tony would like to move to Thailand before his retirement. As Tulip’s parents provided them with property in Thailand, he asked Tulip to start thinking about ideas for business which they could do in Thailand, so that they could move there earlier. However, Tulip did not pay much attention to this. She has now focused more on searching for a better job in Germany so that she can be financially independent and be able to remit to her parents at her will.

4.2.2

Case 2: Daisy

Interview Period: February 2017 / March 2018 Introduction: Daisy was 46 years old when she provided the 1st interview while her husband, Danny, was 45. Before that, she divorced a Thai man with whom she had two daughters. She married Danny and moved to Germany in 2011. At the time of the interview, she worked as a full-time gardener in her village. Family and Educational Background: Daisy came from a poor family living in the central region of Thailand. Her parents separated when she was a high school student, and both then had new families. She was raised by her mother. She had two siblings: a sister and a brother who were born of the same parents and another two siblings who were born from different mothers. She had a difficult life during her childhood because of financial problems. She had to work to support her studies. However, her mother also tried to support her as much as she could. She graduated from a vocational school and received a certificate degree, but this degree did not allow her to have a good job. She ended up working as a

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laborer. Her job was not stable in terms of working hours and income. She did not earn a lot from her work, but she remitted to both of her parents nearly every month. Previous Marriage life: Daisy was married to a Thai man and had two daughters before she got married to Danny. During this marriage, she was a full-time housewife being financially supported by her husband. Unfortunately, her exhusband cheated on her and left her. After divorce, Daisy had a terribly difficult time because she needed to raise her two daughters by herself; moreover, she needed to send remittance to her parents as well. At that time, her two daughters were studying at high school and needed money for their education and living. This was the turning point of her life. She decided to work as a bargirl in Phuket in order to earn enough money to support her daughters and to remit to her parents. Getting Married with Conditions: Daisy met Danny at the bar where she worked. He travelled to Phuket on his holidays. They spent three weeks together. Danny offered to send money to Daisy every month if she agreed to stop working in the bar and move back to live with her children. She agreed. He visited her once a year and continually sent money to her every month. After three years, Danny asked Daisy to marry him and move to Germany with him. She immediately agreed because she believed that she would have a better opportunity to earn more money in Germany so that she could support her daughters and family. She only asked Danny to send money for her daughters’ education but not her parents, because she did not want him to think that she had married him for money. She decided not to have a wedding and begged her parents not to request Danny for Sin-Sod as it might lead to the image of ‘buying-selling’. Marriage Life and Not Welcomed to the Family: After moving to Germany, Daisy found out that Danny lived with his mother. She was not welcomed to the family. Danny’s mother did not like her because she had been a bargirl and believed that she had married Danny for money. She thought that Danny had bought Daisy from her parents and sent money to Daisy’s family every month. Danny could not help Daisy much because he often worked abroad. Daisy mostly lived with his mother. She admitted that this period was the most terrible time in her life. She had to take care of everything in the house such as cleaning, cooking, gardening, etc. Getting a Job and a New House: After one year, she learned the German language, obtained an A1 level, and got a full-time gardener job in her village. She had tried to find a job as soon as she arrived but never got accepted because she could not speak German. After she got a job, she started to support her daughters and sent remittance to her parents as well. Additionally, she told Danny

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that she could not live with his mother anymore. Thus, Danny bought a house, and they moved out to live together. Current Situation: Daisy was still working on her job. She earned around 900 euro per month. She was living happily and proud of herself that she could support her daughters to have a good education along with sending remittance to her parents. She also financially supported her siblings, who were born by different mothers, providing for their education. She preferred to be independent even though her work was quite heavy for her, but asking money from Danny made her feel very uncomfortable and gave her a feeling of indebtedness. Retirement Plan: Danny planned to permanently move to Thailand after his retirement while Daisy strongly disagreed. Daisy was afraid that Danny would find a new Thai girlfriend if they moved back to Thailand, but she did not say this to Danny. On the other hand, Danny dreamed of living in Thailand and planned to buy a house there soon. However, this topic between them was still controversial.

4.2.3

Case 3: Rose

Interview Period: November 2016/ October 2017/ December 2018 Introduction: Rose was 29 years old when she provided the 1st interview. Her husband Ryan was 35 years old. She had been married to Ryan for 3 years and had two sons. She permanently moved to Germany in 2012 and had lived in Germany for 2 years and 6 months. At the time of the interview, she was a full-time housewife and took care of her two sons. Family and Educational Background: Rose came from a mid-high financial status family living in the Northern region of Thailand. Her parents worked as teachers in a public school, which allowed them to earn a stable income, including many financial benefits. She had one younger sister, Rita, who was staying in Germany following her advice and support. According to her sister’s interview answers, Rose and Rita had a happy childhood because their parents fully supported them in everything, especially in education. They received bachelor’s degrees from a good university with good grades because their parents often put pressure on them. Their parents had serious expectations of them, and planned for them in terms of education and future careers. After graduation, Rose studied for a master’s degree while opening a small clothes shop with her friend. Rose’s business made a satisfactory profit, so she started to send remittance to her parents every month since then. After her master’s graduation, she found out that her parents had a large amount of debt due to supporting her and Rita’s education. She appreciated their love and sacrifice. Thus, she planned to help them pay this debt.

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Getting Married and a Sin-Sod Problem: Rose met Ryan when she was studying for her master’s degree. He was a business partner of one of her friends. After one year of a relationship, Rose graduated while Ryan’s business went down. Ryan decided to move back to Germany to work. He asked Rose to marry and move to Germany with him. Rose accepted to marry but she had to give up her business in Thailand. She married him with the expectation of having a good life in Germany. Her parents did not like Ryan. They did not believe that Ryan would take good care of Rose. Also, their perception towards the trend of Thai girls getting married to a foreigner was negative. However, they had to respect Rose’s decision. Rose encountered a Sin-Sod problem. Her parents requested a large amount of Sin-Sod, which induced money and gold from Ryan. They provided the reason to Rose that this Sin-Sod was her security if she would divorce. They would save this Sin-Sod for her. Ryan refused it and tried to negotiate, but Rose insisted because she trusted her parents. Ryan had to provide the Sin-Sod as they required, even though he did not like it. Sin-Sod from Ryan was transferred to Rose by her parents after the wedding, but her parents told her to only use it in emergency situations. Prepare for Migration: Before migrating, Rose prepared and arranged all her assets. She got the startup funds for her business back from her business partner. She gave all her money, including savings, to her mother to help pay her debt. She did not want Ryan to know that she had money or any savings. Meanwhile, her parents reminded her that she could divorce and return home anytime. They would always support her. Married Life and Unexpected Living: After moving to Germany, Rose had difficulties adapting to the new environment in terms of weather, language, food, and people. Most of all, she could not accept herself as a dependent person. Rose suffered from relying on her husband’s money. Ryan gave Rose a small amount of money as pocket money when she began her German language class. She was not happy with this limited money. She often struggled to buy small things for herself because she felt uncomfortable and was afraid to ask Ryan for more money. She did not want him to think that she spent money extravagantly. After several months, she decided to discuss this situation with him. She offered to take care of groceries in the house, so Ryan agreed to give her 300 euro per month, intended both for monthly groceries in the house and her own expenses. After the agreement, she realized that the money was only enough for groceries. She barely had enough for herself or for savings. She decided not to discuss it anymore and lived under these conditions. Big Decision and New Agreement: After 1 year of living in Germany, they went to Thailand during Ryan’s holidays to visit Rose’s family. Rose felt guilty

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about not having anything to give to her parents, particularly money. Rose felt ashamed of herself. Thus, Rose decided to live in Thailand, find a job and live close to her parents in order to take care of them. Ryan was shocked. He strongly disagreed. So, he came up with a new agreement. He raised the amount of monthly expenses from 300 to 500 euro (300 would be for groceries and the rest for her personal needs). She returned to Germany with him but felt unsecure about her future. She planned to find a job to secure her financial situation and be able to send remittance to her parents. Different Culture and Remittance Conflict: Ryan never agreed to let Rose work. Along with that, she became pregnant with her first child, so she had to drop the idea of searching for a job. Rose started to send remittance to her parents in secret because she knew Ryan would never accept it. She learned that she and Ryan came from totally different family cultures, particularly in terms of money. Ryan never gave money to his parents. However, Ryan seriously wondered about her money and kept asking how she spent it. Therefore, she had to confess, and the consequence was just as she had predicted. Ryan was very angry. He felt that he worked to earn money for her parents. Rose apologized but she kept sending remittance and kept it secret. She knew that Ryan would never understand her reasons for sending remittance even though she tried to explain it several times. She preferred to do it in secret, so that they would not fight about it. Current Situation: Rose had two sons and was still a full-time housewife. For Rose, Ryan was a wonderful husband. He took care of the family very well. He was very generous to Rose. He took her to travel abroad at least twice a year and bought expensive things for her. However, he still did not understand the reason for remittance and strongly disagreed with it. Rose still sent remittance and kept it a secret from Ryan. She still thought about working and being financially independent so that she could send remittance freely. She planned to search for a job again after her two sons went to school. Retirement Plan: Ryan wanted to live in Thailand after his retirement. Rose also wanted to return to be with her parents. However, the retirement plan was not settled yet as they wanted their children to graduate from higher education before planning to permanently move to Thailand.

4.2.4

Case 4: Jasmine

Interview Period: December 2016/ October 2017/ December 2018 Introduction: Jasmine was 26 years old when she had the 1st interview while her husband Jo was 46. She got married and moved to Germany three years

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previously. At the time of the interview, she was working in elderly care as a part-time worker. Family and Educational Background: Jasmine came from a very poor family living in the Northern region of Thailand. Her parents worked as laborers in Bangkok. She was raised by her grandmother on her mother’s side. She had a younger brother who grew up with her. She had a difficult life when she was young because her parents rarely sent money to support her and her brother. Her grandmother was the main person who took care of them. After graduating from a junior high school, Jasmine decided not to continue to study in high school because of the financial issue. She decided to go to Phuket to work as a bargirl instead. While working in Phuket, she sent remittance to her grandmother every month in order to support their living conditions and her brother’s education. Meanwhile, her parents returned to live with her grandmother. They barely earned money because there was less construction work in the city. Thus, Jasmine needed to send more money to support the whole family. Getting Married: Jasmine met Jo while she was working. Jo asked her to quit the job by offering to send money to her every month. Jasmine agreed and returned to live with her family. She used Jo’s money to support her family and her brother’s education. Jo visited Jasmine once a year. After three years, Jo asked Jasmine to marry and move to Germany with him. She agreed because she also expected to have a better life and have a better chance to work and earn a sufficient wage. Jasmine decided not to have a wedding, but she asked Jo for Sin-Sod. Jo did not agree in the beginning. He did not understand, and he felt like Jasmine’s parents wanted to take advantage of him. At that time, Jasmine could not explain the meaning of Sin-Sod very well because she barely spoke English. She told him that it was a must. Jo had no choice, so he provided 100,000 Baht as a Sin-Sod for her parents. Jasmine gave the Sin-Sod to her mother. She expected them to use this money during the time she found a job in Germany. She told them that it would be at least one year before she would be able to send remittance and asked them to carefully use this money. Marriage life in Germany: After migration, Jasmine asked Jo to help her send remittance to her family, but he seriously rejected it. He said he would only take care of her, but not her family. Jo’s reaction did not surprise her. She knew that he would not understand and was not going to support her family. Thus, she had to find a job and send remittance by herself. In the 1st year, Jasmine needed to learn the German language. It was difficult for her as she did not have a good background in English. Along with that, she did not care about study that much because she only wanted to work. Jasmine was also a housewife for Jo. Jo provided 300 euros as a monthly payment for groceries. She kept the rest of the

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monthly expenses and sent it to her family. In their marriage relationship, they rarely communicated because Jasmine could not speak English or German, while Jo could not speak English. However, Jasmine did not see this as a problem. She was fine with it as long as Jo was nice to her. Got a Job and Adaptation: After one year, Jasmine got a job in elderly care. She worked as a part-time worker. She earned around 800 euros every month. Jo didn’t ask her to share any expenses in the house. Thus, Jasmine mostly sendt all her money to her family. She found some Thai friends and would hang out with them frequently. All her Thai friends also remitted to their parents. This made Jasmine strongly believe that it was the right thing to support her Thai family by sending remittance every month. She kept it as a secret from Jo. She knew Jo would be angry and would not allow her to do it. Remittance and Pressure from Family: After migration, Jasmine learned that her parents had spent all the Sin-Sod on an illegal lottery to try to pay their debts. She knew that her parents often had debts, but she did not know why. She felt very bad about this and considered it hopeless to send them money. Luckily, in the 1st year, Jo let her take care of the groceries, so she had only a small amount of money to remit. After Jasmine got a job, she sent a remittance at a minimum of 500 euro per month. However, her parents often put pressure on her to send them more money without giving her a reason or lying instead. Meanwhile, she learned that her brother had quit school after he graduated from high school. She was very stressed out and sometimes she thought about cutting her family off from her life by not contacting them anymore, but a feeling of guilt prevented her from doing so. In addition, her Thai friends often encouraged her to take care of her family, as they were her parents, and sending remittance was a child’s duty. She agreed with her friends as it fit her beliefs. Current Situation: Jasmine still sent remittance to her family every month. She never visited her family because she did not have enough money to buy a flight ticket. On the other hand, Jo did not want to go to Thailand, either to visit her family or to travel. Jasmine felt that her marriage relationship was boring. She felt like Jo only wanted her to be his housekeeper. They rarely talked to each other or did any activities together. It was not the relationship that she had expected, but she accepted it because she needed the legal status to stay in Germany for work. Retirement Plan: They never discussed Jo’s retirement plan, but Jasmine thought that Jo would just stay in Germany and live on his retirement money. Jasmine did not plan anything for her retirement.

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4.2.5

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Background Information

Case 5: Orchid

Interview Period: November 2016/ December 2017/ January 2019 Introduction: Orchid was 49 years old when she had the 1st interview while her husband, Oliver, was 51. She got married and moved to Germany 26 years previously. They had one son who was 24 years old at the time of the interview. Orchid was working as a full-time cleaner in a kindergarten and had a small Thai massage shop. Family and Educational Background: Orchid came from a very poor family who lived in the Northeastern region of Thailand. Her parents were farmers. They owned a field, but they still did not earn enough for a living. She had four siblings: three sisters and one brother. She had a difficult life during her childhood because of poverty. Her parents could not earn enough to support her studies. Thus, Orchid and her sisters only achieved a junior high school education. Her brother attended high school, thus acquiring the highest education in the family. She explained that her family was rich before, but they got poor after her grandparents passed away and her parents could not manage the business well. After dropping out of school, Orchid worked as a farmer to help her parents in the field. However, they didn’t earn sufficiently to support the whole family and were not able to cover debts. Thus, Orchid needed to go to Pattaya to work as a cleaner in a hotel after harvest time each year. Getting Married: Orchid had to work in Pattaya for 4 months each year and there she met Oliver. Oliver was a customer at her hotel. He invited her to Germany to travel and visit his house by offering her financial support during the trip. She was scared to go there alone but her family convinced her to go in order to develop their relationship. Her parents expected her to marry Oliver so that Orchid would be able to take financial care of the whole family. She agreed to go and, expecting to get married, she brought the documents for marriage. She also expected to have a chance to work for a good wage so that she could help her family to have better living conditions. At the end of the trip, Oliver asked her to marry and live with him in Germany. So, they ended up marrying in Germany before her travel visa expired. Marriage Life in Germany: Orchid needed to study German according to Oliver’s requirement, but she was not successful in it. She thought that it was too difficult, and she was also too lazy to study. She was only concerned about sending remittance to support her family. She stopped studying after a couple of months because of pregnancy. Since then, she had stayed at home. In addition, Oliver asked her to be a full-time housewife. Oliver did not want Orchid to work. He thought that it was unnecessary for the family because his salary was enough

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to cover all the expenses for the family, including savings. Orchid asked Oliver to send remittance to her family, but he refused and asked Orchid to stop doing so. Being a full-time housewife, Orchid was responsible for groceries in the house. Oliver provided 1,000 euros as a monthly expense, part of which Orchid sent to her family. However, it was not enough. Her family often requested more money from her. Thus, Orchid had to search for an illegal side job which she could do from home. She got many side jobs to earn money, including packing food, painting, teaching others to cook Thai food, Thai food catering, and Thai massage. She mostly transferred the income from her side jobs to her parents. Full-Time Job and Large Amount of Remittance: After her son started going to school, Orchid searched for a full-time job. She got a job as a cleaner in a kindergarten near her house. However, she continued doing her side jobs. She worked frequently in order to earn as much as possible and send it to her family. Although, she sent remittance to her family monthly, they often requested a large amount of money for different reasons, e.g. renovating the house, buying a car, attempting to start a small business, opening a convenience shop, etc. She knew that everyone in the family including her siblings relied on her support. She expected them to build their own business from the money she provided so that they would have a better quality of life. However, none of their business plans worked. Orchid still sent remittance to her family and extended her support to all her nieces and nephews’ education as well. Remittance and Marriage Relationship: Oliver knew that Orchid had been sending remittance to her family since she started her full-time job, but he did not know the frequency or the amount. He often asked Orchid to stop working on her side jobs to provide her free time with the family, but she kept refusing. This was the topic that they most often argued with each other about. Orchid asked if Oliver could send remittance to her family instead of her doing her side jobs. He refused. Oliver never liked Orchid to send remittance. He believed that remittance was not a solution to support the family and it could be a problem in the long term. The remittance topic became a frequent source of arguments in their relationship, and it seemed like a never-ending problem because neither side would compromise. Particularly after Orchid opened her Thai massage shop, her family requested more remittance each month. Negative Effects of Over Remittance: After 25 years of sending remittance, Orchid began to realize its negative effects. She noticed that her family members relied on her money. They did not work stably and did not actively pursue any proper careers. At first, she thought that they could not find good jobs because they had achieved such a low education level. She expected them to build up a business from the money she was sending them. However, they never actively

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built anything. She felt guilty that she had spoiled them with money and made them financially dependent. She confessed that she did not know how to solve this problem because it was too late to change. All her family members, including her siblings’ children, relied on her money to live. She also needed to support their education as well. Unfortunately, most of her nieces and nephews did not like to study. Many of her nieces asked her to find a rich German husband for them because they believed that Orchid lived well and happily in Germany, spending her husband’s money. Her family thought the same. No one believed that Orchid had to work a lot to earn money to remit to her family. Learning to Remit from Mother: Orchid’s son, Oscar, started to send money to Orchid’s family in Thailand when he got a job after graduating from vocational school. He worked as a carpenter and earned around 1,300 euro per month. He gave 300 euros every month to Orchid, believing that he should take care of his parents when he grew up, according to what Orchid taught him when he was a child. Aside from providing money monthly, Oscar gave 10,000 euro to Orchid to help her open her Thai massage shop. He perceived it as a child’s duty to support their parents. Oscar got along well with Orchid’s family. After he got a job, he often sent money to his Thai uncle and Thai cousins. Orchid believed that Oscar had learned to remit to his Thai family from her. Along with that, he understood that his Thai family was poor and had limited living conditions. Lately, Orchid has tried to decrease her remittance amount, but her family asked it from Oscar instead. Orchid started to become concerned about Oscar’s income and her Thai family’s future. Current Situation: Orchid still sent remittance to her family monthly and remitted more when they requested it. She tried to decrease the amount of remittance, however, she admitted that she might still remit until she dies. She worried about Oscar. She did not want him to remit like her. Presently, her family, particularly her nieces and nephews, began to ask for money from Oscar. Oliver did not know anything about the remittance that Orchid and Oscar sent. He still asked Orchid to stop working and stop sending remittance. Retirement Plan: Oliver planned to live in Thailand after retirement, but he did not want to live with Orchid’s family. He wanted to buy a house somewhere in the south of Thailand and live with Orchid peacefully. Meanwhile, Orchid did not want to return to Thailand. She knew that she still needed to financially support her family, and knew it would be easy for her family to ask for money from her constantly. In contrast, Oscar planned to find a job and live in Thailand. He would like to have a Thai wife and live with her in Thailand. He wanted to live close to his Thai family. The retirement plan was still unclear and needed a final solution, especially for Oliver and Orchid.

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4.2.6

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Case 6: Poppy

Interview Period: January 2017/ December 2017 Introduction: Poppy was 32 years old when she provided the 1st interview, while her husband Peter, was 33. She had been married to Peter for 1 year and moved to live in Germany 4 months previously. At the time of the interview, she worked as a part-time cleaner. She earned approximately 1–200 euro/month. Family and Educational Background: Poppy came from a low-middle class family living in the Northeastern part of Thailand. Her parents owned fields and gardens. They worked as farmers and gardeners. She had two siblings: a sister and a brother. She was the youngest. She had a happy childhood, even though she needed to help her parents in the fields and gardens. Her parents considerably supported them in terms of education. They ended up having a lot of debts. However, Poppy and her siblings had a good education and got good jobs directly after graduation. Her sister worked as a teacher in her hometown, so she was living with her parents. Her brother worked as an engineer in Bangkok. Meanwhile, Poppy got a job working as an office staff member for a Tour company in Bangkok. Additionally, she also had a side job as a clothes seller in the weekend market. Poppy and her siblings sent remittance to their parents every month. Her sister was the main person who lived with and took care of them, e.g., looking after their living conditions, expenses in the house, health, as well as working in the field and gardens. Meanwhile, Poppy and her brother only sent money to their parents every month. Dating Website and Getting Married: Poppy met Peter on a dating website. She used it to practice her English. After chatting with Peter, she found out that he was a nice person. She liked him because he expressed to her that he loved Thailand in every aspect. Peter visited Poppy in Thailand after chatting for a couple of months. After Peter’s trip to Thailand, Poppy also visited Peter in Germany upon his invitation. He introduced Poppy to his family, his mother and grandmother. He took her to travel around Germany, and spoiled her with good food and shopping. Everything went very well. Poppy learned that Peter had a good career and a good salary. He lived in an apartment which belonged to his grandmother. Then, Peter asked Poppy to marry him and move to Germany to live together. Poppy agreed, but was concerned about the wedding and Sin-Sod issues. Sin-Sod is a Problem: After Poppy’s decision to get married, she told the news to her family. Her parents, siblings, including all her relatives and neighbors, were happy for her. To them, marrying a foreigner painted a picture of a beautiful life. Then, her parents started to set the amount of Sin-Sod and the wedding expense

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to Peter. They requested 500,000 Baht as Sin-Sod. Peter strongly refused to pay it. He did not understand this tradition, and he did not pay it, nor the wedding expenses. Poppy tried to explain the reasons behind Sin-Sod in terms of culture, but Peter insisted on not paying it. In the end, she negotiated with her parents about the Sin-Sod and wedding. She asked them to postpone it. She told them she would go to Germany first so that she could find a job, sent remittance to them and save money for the wedding. Further, Peter would save money to pay for Sin-Sod. She did not tell Peter about this agreement, but she planned to gently discuss it with him later. However, Poppy decided to provide all her savings to her parents because she would not be able to send remittance during her 1st year in Germany. She promised to send remittance as soon as she could. Migrating to Germany where Everything Changed: After migration to Germany, Poppy found that everything had changed. Peter had changed. He did not support her adaptation into her new life in Germany, and he did not support her to learn the German language. Poppy learned that Peter mostly relied on his mother and grandmother for his living expenses, e.g., groceries, household items, eating outside, dog’s food, cleaning and clothes. Peter asked Poppy to be a good housewife for him. As a proper housewife, she had to do cleaning, cooking, and take care of the house and his dog. However, her tasks were difficult because Peter never provided her any money as he never spent it on those things. He expected Poppy to live like him. He told her to get the groceries, household items, dog’s food, and things that she needed from his mother and grandmother. He rarely took her to the supermarket. She had what his mother and grandmother bought. She could not complain about it to Peter because he became very upset every time she mentioned it. Poppy felt very disappointed, but she did not know how to solve this problem. She wanted to return to Thailand, but she did not have enough money for a flight ticket. Further, her mother encouraged her to stay with Peter and search for a job, until she got a residence permit, then she could break up with him. No money and No Remittance: The topic of money was mostly brought up by Poppy. They often fought over money issues. Poppy used to ask Peter to provide her with some pocket money, but he refused and told her not to go out. So, she gave up with the pocket money idea. However, she did keep asking Peter to send remittance to her family. He aggressively refused and usually got very upset when Poppy discussed the remittance issue with him. Meanwhile, her parents were angry with her because she did not send remittance to them. Her father stopped talking to her because he believed that she was living well and did not care about her family anymore.

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Got a Job and Begins to Remit: After a couple of months, Poppy found a parttime cleaner job. She earned around 100–200 euro per month, which enabled her to remit to her parents. She remitted half of her income every month. She kept the rest to buy herself personal things and Thai ingredients for cooking. She hoped that she was able to work more and earn more. She kept searching for another job. She wanted to have a full-time job so that she could send more money to her parents. Marriage Relationship: Poppy and Peter’s marriage relationship was not going well. They rarely talked to each other. Poppy tried to ask Peter to take her around Germany, but he kept postponing it. Poppy tried to be nice to him by doing her housewife duties as much as she could. She expected that Peter would see her good deeds and be nice to her, but Peter still did not change. Her attempts stopped when Peter asked her to be responsible for buying groceries for the house. She strongly refused and fought back at him. She insisted on not sharing any of her income. However, Peter kept asking her from time to time. Moreover, Peter was trying to refuse to pay for Sin-Sod as well, as he did not care about the wedding in Thailand. Poppy did not care about him, but she was concerned about her parents’ feelings. She still did not know how to solve the problem. Current Situation: Poppy still lived with Peter, even though their relationship was not good. She felt like Peter only wanted her to be his housekeeper. She still worked as a part-time cleaner because she could not find any other job, as she could not speak German. However, she was training in Thai massage to be able to work in one of the Thai massage shops. Additionally, she had made friends with Thai people in her city. They were nice to her and helped her to adapt to Germany. She decided to stay with Peter in order to receive legal status to work in Germany. Retirement Plan: Poppy and Peter never discussed a retirement plan. Poppy did not plan anything for her life in the long term. She would like to save a large amount of money and return to Thailand. She planned to start saving money so that she could come back to Thailand soon. However, she admitted that it was quite difficult to remit to her parents at the same time.

4.2.7

Case 7: Lotus

Interview Period: February 2017/ January 2018 Introduction: Lotus was 42 years old when she had the 1st interview while her husband Rome was 60. She got married and moved to Germany 3 years

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previously. She worked as a part-time cleaner in a hotel and kindergarten. She earned approximately 1,000 euro per month. Family and Educational Background: Lotus came from a rich family living in the Northeastern region of Thailand. Her father worked in the manager position in a public-school, while her mother owned a retail shop. She had two brothers. She was the middle child. According to her, she had a happy childhood. Her parents fully supported Lotus and her brothers in every aspect of life, particularly in terms of education. Lotus had a very good relationship with her parents. After acquiring a bachelor’s degree, she worked as a nurse in a public hospital in her hometown. She continued to live with her parents to take care of them because both her brothers married and moved to live in another city. She physically took care of her parents and provided 50% of her salary to them monthly, even though this amount was very small compared to their incomes. Relationship Begins from Friendship: Lotus knew Rome and was friends with him for nearly 10 years. She knew all his ex-wives and ex-girlfriends. She first met him when he travelled to Thailand with his 1st ex-wife. Rome married twice; his 1st wife was German and his 2nd wife was Thai. He has one daughter with his 1st wife, and he took full responsibility to raise her. After his 1st divorce, Rome only dated Thai women. He met his 2nd ex-wife on a dating website. His 2nd marriage failed because of the remittance issue. He spent a lot of money on his ex-Thai wife’s family, which included a monthly remittance, building a house, providing cars for her parents and siblings, etc. After the second divorce, he dated many Thai women, as he wanted to find the right Thai woman to marry. After 4 years, Rome suddenly asked Lotus to marry him. Lotus did not understand his reason or purpose. She refused to marry but agreed to be in a relationship with him. Getting Married: After three years of relationship, Rome asked Lotus to marry and move to Germany with him, but she refused. Lotus did not want to leave her parents and career. She already had a good life in Thailand. She preferred to live in Thailand so that she could take care of her parents and focus on her career. Rome decided to move to Thailand for her. He worked as a doctor in the same hospital as Lotus. Unfortunately, he had terrible health problems because of the weather. He asked Lotus to marry and move to Germany again. At that same time, Lotus’s father passed away. Lotus almost denied Rome’s offer as she was concerned about her mother. However, she accepted to marry him and move to Germany according to her mother’s wishes. Lotus was also concerned about her age. She was 38 years old, which seemed too old to start a serious relationship.

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Making an Agreement and the Sin-Sod Requirement: Before marrying and moving to Germany, Lotus decided to make a clear agreement with Rome. She requested him to provide a million Baht to her mother as Sin-Sod for their wedding and to send 10,000 Baht monthly as a remittance to her mother while Lotus lived with him in Germany. Rome refused. He thought that it was not fair to him. Lotus believed that Rome knew the Thai cultural heritage related to wedding ceremonies and families in terms of remittance. She thought that he just did not want to pay anything. However, Lotus insisted, otherwise she would not move to Germany, nor would she marry him if he denied her requests. Thus, Rome was forced to provide both Sin-Sod and a monthly remittance to her mother. Prepare to Migrate to Germany: After the wedding, Lotus divided the SinSod into two parts. She gave half of the Sin-Sod to her mother and kept the other half for herself as a saving because she knew that she would be unemployed in Germany, which was very risky for her in terms of her financial situation. Married Life in Germany: In the 1st year, Rome only took Lotus to travel around Europe. Lotus started to learn the German language in her 2nd year and in the same year Rome began to provide a weekly expense to Lotus. He gave her around 70–100 euro per week. Lotus felt uncomfortable with this limited amount of money. However, she did not want to ask for more. She mostly bought herself personal things with her own money. Lotus decided to search for a job. At first, she got a part-time job as a nurse assistant in a hospital, but she could not work due to the language barrier. Then, she decided to work as a laborer. She got two part-time jobs as a cleaner in a small hotel and kindergarten near her house. Rome never agreed with Lotus about working. He preferred Lotus to be at home and be a housewife. However, Lotus preferred to earn money by herself. She felt more secure that way. She divided her income into two parts. The first was for herself in Germany and the second was to buy presents for her family when she visited them in Thailand. Remittance Conflicts: After migration to Germany, Lotus and Rome frequently argued about the remittance topic. Rome often asked Lotus to stop remitting, while Lotus repeatedly explained to him the reason for remitting. First, it was because of their agreement. Second, it was a reciprocation to her mother, as she had provided them a property in Thailand for their settling down after retirement. Along with that, Lotus’s mother financially supported them during their stay in Thailand. For Rome, it took three years to sincerely accept and understand the reason for remittance, because he saw that Lotus’s family was very nice to him and never took advantage of him in terms of money. However, Lotus’s mother did not like Rome because she thought he was a greedy person and did not take care of Lotus well.

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Current Situation: Lotus continued working two part-time jobs as a cleaner. Rome still sent remittance to Lotus’s mother. He would have liked to increase the amount of remittance, but Lotus refused. She knew that Rome might expect more from her family in terms of taking care of them and providing things. Lotus loved Rome, but she knew that she could not trust him in terms of money. At that time, they visited Lotus’s family 2–3 times per year upon Rome’s request. Rome became interested in Buddhism. He often spent time in a temple near Lotus’s house in Thailand. Retirement Plan: Lotus and Rome planned to settle down in Thailand after Rome’s retirement. Rome had this plan before he married Lotus. Their plan had become more stable since Lotus’s mother had given them land and a house.

4.2.8

Case 8: Lilly

Interview Period: January 2017/ January 2018/ November 2018 Introduction: Lilly was 33 when she provided her 1st interview, while her husband Luka was 50 years old. She had married and moved to Germany 1 year previously. At the time of the interview, she was a full-time housewife upon Luka’s request. Family and Educational Background: Lilly came from a poor family living in the Southern region of Thailand. Her parents separated when she was born. Lilly lived with her mother and grandmother. Lilly’s father never visited nor supported her financially. She had a happy childhood because her mother took care of her very well. Her mother worked as a laborer on a construction site. She worked very hard every day in order to support everyone in the family. Lilly only achieved a high school level education because her mother begged her to quit studying due to their financial situation. Lilly tried to contact her father and asked him to support her education, but he refused. Lilly decided to run away from her mother to Bangkok and lived with her aunt to continue her studies. Finally, she continued to start a bachelor’s degree thanks to the support from her mother and aunt. During her studies, Lilly needed to work part-time to earn some money for living as well. Unfortunately, her aunt passed away during this period. Lilly’s aunt was a widow and had a six-year-old son. After Lilly’s aunt’s death, Lilly returned to her hometown with her nephew. She did not complete her bachelor’s degree. After her return, she became a breadwinner of the family. She worked to be able to financially support her grandparents, mother, nephew, and herself. She also decided to search for her father, who had abandoned her,

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and remitted to him after she found him. She worked in many jobs and finally ended up working as a bargirl. Getting Married: Lilly met Luka at her workplace, where they started a relationship. Luka asked Lilly to quit her job. He provided a fund for Lilly to open a small souvenir shop in her hometown. Lilly was happy to be able to own a business and take care of her family. Three years later, her grandparents became very ill with cancer. Lilly needed to spend all her savings on their medical fees. Luka also gave a lot of money to help. Lilly highly appreciated his support. The treatment lasted for nearly one year, but her grandparents passed way. After the funeral, Luka asked Lilly to marry him and move to Germany with him. She could not deny him as he had helped her a lot during this difficult period. She felt like she owed him a favor. She agreed, even though she was very worried about her mother and nephew. Sin-Sod Requirement and Prepare for Migrating: Lilly decided not to have a wedding. She only asked Luka for Sin-Sod. Lilly asked for 200,000 Baht as Sin-Sod, which she planned to provide to her mother. At first, Luka disagreed as he thought he already provided a lot of money for Lilly’s family. Lilly understood him but she insisted on getting this money for her mother. She begged Luka to understand her family situation after she left, as she was fully responsible for all the finances in the family. So, Sin-Sod would be a support for her mother and nephew while she was not with them. Luka provided Sin-Sod as Lilly asked, but he did not like it. He still believed that it was not fair to him. Before her permanent migration, Lilly provided the Sin-Sod and all her savings, both money and gold, to her mother. She expected her mother to live on this amount of money for at least one year in terms of living expenses and her nephew’s education expenses. She kept this a secret from Luka because she knew he would not accept her decision. Married Life in Germany: Lilly moved to Germany without any savings. She admitted that she expected to rely on her husband. She believed that Luka would take care of her. Lilly became a full-time housewife according to Luka’s wishes. She started to learn the German language, as Luka planned for her, but she failed because she did not like to study, and it was too difficult for her as she had no English language skills. She stopped studying German and spent most of her time at home. She only went out with Luka, even for buying groceries, because she was afraid to go anywhere alone. Luka never taught her to live in Germany. He preferred Lilly to be at home and only go out with him. He did not want Lilly to have friends or go out by herself. Lilly also needed to take care of Luka’s mother sometimes when she visited their place. She did not like Luka’s mother because she often treated her like a maid and thought that Luka bought

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her from her mother. As for the money, Lilly tried to ask for monthly expenses, but Luka refused and only provided money when Lilly needed to go out to buy her personal items. Luka never trusted Lilly in terms of money. He explained that Lilly often got confused with the exchange rate between Thai Baht and Euro, so he preferred to take care of the finances all by himself. Lilly did not like her life in Germany. She felt no freedom. However, Luka often spoiled her with good clothes, food, and travel, which made Lilly believe that she had a good life with him. Remittance Conflicts: The only thing that Lilly was concerned with was her mother and nephew. After three months of living in Germany, she found out that her mother had spent all the money on renovating her house. Her mother believed that Lilly would send a large amount of remittance every month as she had married a foreigner. She asked Lilly to send remittance every month as she could not work on a construction site anymore because of her age and health. Lilly needed to ask Luka to remit for her as she did not have any money. Luka was very upset. He never agreed to remittance. He did not want to support Lilly’s family. In the end, Lilly had to lie that the money was for her nephew’s education, so Luka agreed to provide 5,000 Baht every month. Cultural Transmission: Luka tried to convince Lilly to stop sending remittance to her mother and to stop supporting her nephew’s education. He explained that her mother needed to take care of herself because Lilly had her own family now, which she needed to take care of. Lilly slowly agreed with Luka, but not completely, as she knew that her mother was now too old to work as a laborer and her nephew still needed money for his education. She tried to ask her mother to find a job to support her nephew’s study, but her mother could not find anything because of her age, and there were not many jobs in the town. Lilly was very stressed. She was suffering and was unable to solve the problem. She blamed her mother that she could not help her in terms of money and she blamed herself for bringing dissatisfaction to her husband. Current Situation: Lilly started to learn the German language again, according to Luka’s plan. Lilly wanted to have a baby, but Luka did not want a baby now. Luka continued to provide 5,000 Baht as a monthly remittance to Lilly’s mother, but still complained. Lilly thought of searching for a job so that she could send remittance without asking for Luka’s help, but Luka disagreed. For her stress, she had to consult a psychologist; however, it did not really help her. Retirement Plan: Lilly wanted to return to live with her family in Thailand after Luka’s retirement, but Luka did not like the idea. He wanted to settle down in Thailand after retirement but not live with Lilly’s family. The retirement plan still needed to be discussed.

5

The Reasons for Sending Remittance Home

Sending remittance among Thai female marriage migrants in Germany has been confirmed by many scholars (Boonmathya, 2005; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Lisborg, 2002; Piayura, 2012; Pomsema, Yodmalee, and Lao-Akka, 2015; Ratanaloan 2005; Suksomboon, 2008; Tosakul, 2010; Upama, 2013) as an economic support tool for the migrants’ families. Remittances were perceived as a natural monetary development in the migrants’ households. The demo-socio characteristic of remitters was significantly related to their background. Thai married women migrants who remitted tended to come from rural areas and poor families, were lowly educated, and were economically motivated to get married. Was this finding completely true? This chapter aims to answer the question ‘Why do Thai wives decide to remit to their natal family in Thailand?’ The remittance determination of Thai wives in this study will be elaborated on, based on an analysis of their life stories, backgrounds, family relationships, beliefs, attitudes, and perceptions towards their remitting decision and behavior. The focal purpose of this chapter is to expose the reasons for remittance among Thai married women in Germany after their marriage migration. However, it is important to identify the beginning point of their remitting and to understand the importance of remittance according to their perception. In this chapter, I will briefly describe the starting point of their remitting and reveal the importance of remittance through their remittance agreement with their husband before they moved to Germany. Then, I will illustrate the reasons for remitting after their marriage migration in reference to the empirical findings of this study.

© The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Fachmedien Wiesbaden GmbH, part of Springer Nature 2023 K. Haklin, Remittance of Thai Female Marriage Migrants in Germany, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-658-41686-7_5

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5.1

In the Beginning: Remitting Happening Before Marriage

In order to understand the remitting decision and behaviors of Thai women in transnational marriages in Germany, it is useful to take a closer look at the starting point of their remitting. Sending remittance among Thai wives in Germany did not only occur after their migration to Germany. All informants had been remitting to their natal family before they married and moved to Germany. They all began to remit as soon as they started to work in Thailand. The women, including those from poor families, remitted to their parents without any parental requests or enforcement. Remitting seemed to happen customarily among Thai wives. Lotus recalled her first time providing money to her parents: “I gave all my first salary to my parents, then I gave nearly all my salary to them every month. They never ask me to do it. They are richer than me, but I want to give it to them. It is how it should be. It is normal for everyone to do.”

Similarly, Jasmine, who worked as a bargirl, explained her remitting: “It is not like I’ve been forced to remit. I remit because I want to do it. I remit because I can. I sent money back home right after I got the 1st money. I sent nearly all my income every time because I didn’t need a lot for myself. Everyone around me does the same for their family. I think it is normal.”

All Thai wife informants in this study conceived sending remittance to parents as a normal thing to do. They similarly explained that providing money to parents was normalized for everyone in Thailand. They considered the remitting practice as appropriate behavior for children toward their parents. Further, they admitted that their remitting behavior was also encouraged by people around them. In their social circles, most people remitted a similar or higher amount to their parents. Concerning siblings, most informants explained that the allowance for parents was not considered as a shared expense. Nearly all Thai wife informants explained that they never discussed the frequency and amount of allowance for parents with their siblings. They added that their siblings were free to provide money to parents at their will. The importance of remitting is revealed by the amount of their monthly remittance. Informants who lived with their parents remitted nearly all their income monthly, while those who lived far away from their parents provided approximately half of their salary every month. The remittance amount proved that they prioritized the remitting to parents over themselves. For example, Poppy, who

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lived in a different city from her parents, remitted half of her income to them. She explained that: “I gave around 50% of my salary to my parents. I kept the rest for my living expenses. I would like to give more but I can’t. I gave less than my siblings and friends because I earned less than them. So, I tried to find a side job to earn more and remit more. I feel like remitting is the normal thing to do for my parents. They don’t force me to remit, or my siblings, but we know spontaneously that when we work, we should remit.”

5.2

Remittance Agreement is a Condition of Marriage

Marriage proposition was a life changing decision for the Thai wife participants in this study. Most informants revealed that they had a difficult time deciding to marry and permanently move to Germany, particularly those who were from mid-high socioeconomic families, highly educated, and who had a decent job. They feared losing an opportunity in their career, worried about their financial security, and were mostly concerned about living far away from their parents. All informants had a serious concern about their parents if they decided to marry and move to Germany. In the case of Rose, she had a tough period when deciding about her marriage after Ryan proposed to her because she knew that she needed to permanently move to live in Germany with him. Before moving to Germany, Rose had her own business, which earned a lot of profit each month. Rose was very stressed about giving up her business and moving to Germany, where she needed to restart her career path over again. Further, she was concerned about living far away from her parents and that it would be difficult for her to provide them with physical care. “I would think a lot at that time. It took like 4-5 months to think. I owned a business in Thailand, and it was going very well. I wanted to marry him, but I didn’t want to move to Germany. I didn’t know how my life would be. I would have to start from nothing. Above all, I thought about my parents. I didn’t want to live far away from them. I thought about how I could take care of them and how I could remit to them. It was very stressful at that time.”

Likewise, Lilly, who came from a poor family, used to work as a bargirl before Luka funded her to open a small convenience shop in her village. She had lived with her mother since then. She disclosed that she was very stressed when Luka

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proposed marriage and asked her to move to Germany with him because it meant that she had to move to Germany and live far away from her mother. “Honestly, I didn’t want to come here. Who will take care of my mother? Who will earn money to sustain them? When will I see my mother again? Will my husband remit for me? Will I be able to remit from Germany? I know I will worry about her very much. I was really happy before he proposed. I was very happy to finally live with my mother and be able to take care of her.”

When it came to the marriage that entailed permanent migration, all Thai wife informants in this study were extremely concerned about their parents, since they would have to live far away from them and would be unable to provide caregiving to them if they accepted marriage. Most informants decided to set an agreement with their German husband before they accepted to marry him, and before moving to Germany, by requesting a monthly remittance to their parents after migrating in order to lessen their concern and continue their remitting habit. All of them admitted that it was very difficult for them to obtain a remittance agreement from their German partners as they were always aware of the negative image of Thai women in terms of money. Many of them never discussed financial issues with their German partners during their marriage. However, many of them perceived the agreement to be very important. Several informants admitted that they would not have married and moved to Germany if their German husbands had denied it. Many encountered conflict with their husbands during this process because most German men think this agreement was not fair to them. Furthermore, that the remittance had never been discussed among the couples beforehand possibly created an issue of puzzlement for the German men. For example, Lotus was almost not going to get married and move to Germany because Rome refused to remit the first time they discussed it. “If I had to move to Germany, I would like to keep remitting to my parents. I made an agreement with Rome. I asked him to remit to my parents for me. He refused it at first. He thinks it is unfair for him. So, I refused to marry and move to Germany with him. He had no choice but to accept it because I take it very seriously. He knew I meant it. It is very weird because he knew that I remitted to my parents for a very long time, but he wanted me to stop after marriage. I would have to quit my job if I moved to Germany. And I would have to live far away from family and friends too. This is too much to sacrifice and it is unfair for me. So, remittance is the small thing that he can do for me.”

In the focus group interview, the remittance agreement before getting married was discussed actively among Thai wife informants. Most of them mentioned

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that they insisted that their husband should send money to their parents after moving to Germany. Some asked their husband to remit until they were able to find a job in Germany, when they could remit by themselves. Interview Question: ‘Why did you ask your husband to remit after you migrated to Germany?’ Interviewee A (Thai wife from Northern region, poor family and lowly educated): “I would not have come here if he refused to remit. There is no reason to come here without anything to support my parents. If I were in Thailand, I may not earn much, but I can take care of my parents…I can give them money. Without a remittance agreement, it is like I have agreed to come here to only take care of my husband but not my parents.” Interviewee B (Thai wife from Southern region, middle class family and worked as an accountant before): “Same for me. My husband said it is not fair to him. He said my parents are not his parents. So, I said ‘you are not my parents, why do I have to take care of you?’ He knew how much I remitted to parents when I worked. He knew I asked him to remit much less than what I used to give. I just want to continue remitting even with the small amount. I didn’t even ask for anything for myself.”

However, there were some Thai wife informants who decided to have a discussion about the remittance after their marriage. Some of them honestly believed that the issue of remittance would not be a problem in their marriage relationship while others had difficulties discussing it. For example, Tulip did not discuss remittance before getting married and moving to Germany because she did not expect the issue of remittance to create a conflict in her marriage relationship. She thought that Tony would accept it, as he knew about her remitting before their marriage and recognized her sacrifice when she decided to get married to him and permanently move to Germany. “I did not think it would be a problem. I thought he would understand because he knew that I gave money to my parents every month. I thought it would be easy to ask because it was my right to request it after I quit my job in Thailand and moved here to live with him. I never knew that sending money would become such a big problem for him.”

Meanwhile, in the case of Rose, she avoided discussing remittance with Rome because she knew that Rome had a different culture in terms of family relationships and engagement. In addition, Rose was concerned about the negative image of Thai women when it came to money. However, she could not escape this discourse because she was not able to work, as she had to be a full-time housewife according to Rome’s wishes.

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5 The Reasons for Sending Remittance Home “Honestly, I don’t want to talk about remittance with Rome. I know him, I mean, I understand his culture. I know he might refuse it because of cultural differences. And more than that, he might think of me as a gold-digger. He might think negatively about me and my parents. The topic of money is always difficult for me to speak out. I did not plan to ask him for remittance but I had no choice after I arrived here because I don’t earn any money by myself. It is very awkward to ask but I have to. And yes, he denied it.”

The above statements from Thai wife informants illustrate the importance of remittance to them. Many of them were more concerned about their capacity to send remittance than their lives in the new country. Even though they worried about moving away from their homeland, starting a new life, and taking a risk with economic security in the new country, they decided to negotiate and request the remittance for their parents rather than demanding benefits or security for themselves. In this sense, we can see that the Thai migrant wives in this study set remitting as their priority.

5.3

Reasons for Remitting of Thai Wives after Marriage Migration

According to the empirical results of this study, there were three main reasons that influenced Thai migrant wives in Germany to send remittance to their parents and to prioritize remitting: 1) Thai cultural motives 2) Psychological motives 3) Economical drive The factor related to Thai culture evidently appeared in this study as the major determinant that significantly influenced Thai wives’ decision to send remittance to their natal family. All Thai woman informants considered their remitting behavior to be the proper behavior of a child toward their parents, based on the Thai gratitude culture. They believed that providing money to their parents provided proof of being a good child. They conceived the remittances not as monetary support, but as a part of the gratitude culture practice that every child must perform for their parents. Thus, the value of remittance was strongly attached to cultural values and beliefs among all Thai wife informants. Meanwhile, the second motive for remitting among Thai wife informants was psychological. The majority of Thai wife participants considered the remittance as a proof of their

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affection and care to their parents when they lived far away and were unable to provide physical care to their parents. The last motive for remitting behavior among the Thai wife participants in this study was economical. This determinant was mentioned to a lesser extent by only a few informants. The Thai wives who accepted that the economic factor influenced them to remit came from families with a low financial status, were lowly educated, and got married to a foreigner with the purpose of increasing their life quality and improving their family’s living standards. However, this economical aspect still existed as one of the remittance motivations that could not be neglected. These three determinants that influenced the remitting behavior of Thai migrant women in this study will be clearly described in the following sections.

5.3.1

Thai Cultural Motives: Gratitude Belief, Reciprocation, and Child Obligation

The empirical findings of this study evidently show that Thai culture was one of the main motives for remitting among Thai wives in Germany. All informants firmly explained that the gratitude culture is the main reason for their remitting both before and after marriage. They disclosed that they did not perceive remittance as purely an economic benefit for their family, but they believed that remittance carried the values, beliefs, and moral obligations of Thai Buddhist culture. For them, monetary remittance was a part of a reciprocation to their parents based on the gratitude culture. They also perceived their remitting as a child’s obligation towards their parents’ Bun-Khun (favor) as well. They prioritized remitting as a compulsory duty, especially when they were unable to provide physical care to their parents. The explanations of remitting behavior among the Thai women in this study are very similar to each other. I selected the statements of Rose, Orchid, and Tulip, who had different backgrounds regarding their family status, education level, and prior career, to present the similarity of their remitting reasons from a cultural belief perspective. Rose: “Remittance is about the gratitude culture. It is all about gratitude. If we do not reciprocate to our parents, we do not expect that our children would reciprocate to us later. It is a sin not to reciprocate to parents. It is called ‘A-Ka-Tun-Yu’ (ingratitude), which will return the bad karma to you in the future. For me, Bun-Khun of parents is important. They raised us, gave us a life, so we must reciprocate to their Bun-Khun. It is our duty. Sending money is a must for me, especially when I live here. I can’t be there for them.”

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Orchid: “Remittance…sending money is to repay parents’ Bun-Khun. It is important to remit because we are Thai. Don’t you do it? Repaying parents’ Bun-Khun is a child’s obligation. And giving money to parents is a part of repaying Bun-Khun to be a grateful child.” Tulip: “Remittance for me is 100 percent about gratitude culture. It is a good moral. It is about repaying the Bun-Khun of your parents. It is a must for us, Thai people. We must reciprocate to parents because they gave a life to us. They raised us. I feel it is our duty to do for our parents.”

What is Thai Gratitude Culture? Like other countries, Thailand has its own culture and beliefs. The majority of Thai culture is based on Buddhism, including gratitude culture (Jackson, 1989; Limanonda, 1995; Nakamura, 1979; Phongphit, 1988). According to the explanation of all informants, gratitude, called ‘Ka-Tun-Yu’ in Thai, is a moral cultural practice that has existed for a very long time in Thai society. The concept of gratitude is about acknowledgement and reciprocation to all of those who have ever provided any help or benefits (Johnson, 2009; Hasan and Onyx, 2008; Montgomery, 2001; Persons, 2016; Ratanaloan, 2005). Help and benefits from benefactors are called ‘Bun-khun’ in Thai, which translates to ‘favor’ in English. However, the notion of ‘favor’ does not fully capture the definition of ‘Bun-Khun’. Bun-Khun not only means support and kindness from someone but it also carries the values and obligations that tie the benefactor and receiver together (Ratanaloan, 2005). In Thailand, when someone receives Bun-Khun from a benefactor, they are indebted to that person and must return the favor when the proper time comes while the benefactor has the right to require a favor from the receiver in return at any time (Phra Yanathammo, 2013; Ratanaloan, 2005). In short, Bun-Khun brings a feeling of indebtedness to those who receive it. All informants said that gratitude culture was generally applied in every kind of relationship, but it was very intense in the relationship between parents and children. In the sense of Bun-Khun, parents are the greatest givers for their children because they give life to a child, which is considered as an unforgettable Bun-Khun. Thus, children are expected to acknowledge and reciprocate their parents’ Bun-Khun evermore unconditionally. All informants indicated a strong belief that their parents were the greatest benefactor whom they must reciprocate for their entire lives. Although some informants confessed that the reciprocation to parents was a burden for them during some periods, they still felt obligated to remit as they literally believed it was their moral obligation to reciprocate their parents’ Bun-Khun.

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In the case of Rose, she clearly explained the meaning and importance of gratitude in Thailand based on both social norms and religious doctrine. Rose had learned about the gratitude culture, both in theory and in practice, since she was very young, from her parents, who worked as teachers. She considered the gratitude culture practice as a compulsory moral behavior which needed to be followed strictly. In her opinion, gratitude culture is a moral standard for Thai people. She honestly believed that appreciating and reciprocating the parents’ Bun-Khun was decent behavior that all Thai children must keep up. “Ka-Tun-Yu (gratitude) is a main moral principle that is important for Thai society. It is the moral living practice that Thai people must follow. Ka-Tun-Yu is about being grateful to the kindness of the one who helps or gives any good things to you. And when you receive that help or those things, you are indebted to that person. Then, reciprocation is required. Repaying the debt of the benefactor is compulsory. Gratitude works for every relationship. Being grateful would lead you to earn merit. But, if you intend to forget a benefactor’s Bun-Khun, you are an ingrateful person, which means a great demerit.” “Ka-Tun-Yu in the family is very important. Parents are known as the givers of children. They give life to a child, which means the child owes a life to their parents. Thus, a child has an infinite debt to their parents which requires him/her to reciprocate evermore until death. If not, it is an unforgivable sin. I truly believe in it.”

Thai Gratitude Culture and Karma Doctrine As the gratitude culture is rooted in Buddhism, it is strongly connected to the karma doctrine, a basic ethical principle of Buddhism (Ratanaloan, 2005). All Thai wife participants often mentioned the law of karma; merit and demerit, when they explained the gratitude culture and reciprocation to parents. They all explained that karma was the result of the gratitude practice. They explained that gratitude and reciprocation to parents would accumulate merit while ingratitude would lead to demerit, which they seriously attempted to avoid. It is necessary to understand the law of karma in Thai Buddhism instruction. Thai people strongly believe in the effect of karma. Although karma means an action in the context of Buddhism, it is divided into positive and negative actions which provide totally different results that may occur in the near future (Na Bangchang, 1993; Phra Yanathammo, 2013). A positive action is called a merit or ‘Bun’ in Thai, which they believe will bring happiness or good things in their lives in the future. Meanwhile, a negative action is called a demerit or ‘Baab’ in Thai, which will return those bad actions that they did back into their lives later on (Na Bangchang, 1993; Pattanarat, et al., 2002; Phra Yanathammo, 2013; Ratanaloan, 2005).

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Nearly all interviewees disclosed that they considered the karma doctrine as their basic living principle, particularly those who had financially and educationally inferior backgrounds. Thai women who came from poor families and achieved a low education level in this study intensively believed in karma. They honestly believed that they would receive good things in life if they did their best to reciprocate to their parents and make their parents happy, while they seriously feared the negative effects from demerit actions. They believed being an ingrateful child to parents would make their lives miserable. In the case of Orchid, she never thought that she could be successful in married life and work because she came from a very poor farmer family and she had not achieved a high level of education. However, Orchid now has her own massage shop in Germany. She has a good family and lives a happy life with her husband and son. Orchid literally believes her good life happened because of her good karma that she never abandoned her natal family. She believes all her good karma of being a decent child brings good things to her life. “I believe my life is good because of all the merits I did. I support my family. I send money to my parents. Gratitude and reciprocation to parents is a superb merit for a child. You will receive a powerful blessing for your future. But if you are ungrateful, the bad karma will return to you real fast. It is all true. For example, me. I have remitted to my parents since I was able to do that, and my son now remits to me as well.”

Meanwhile, in the case of Jasmine, she had the most difficult life among all Thai wife informants. Her family could not support her studies. She dropped out of junior high school. She used to work as a bargirl before she married Jo and moved to Germany. Her remittance had become the main monetary support for her entire family. She admitted that she sometimes thought that sending money to her parents was a heavy burden, but she had to force herself to stop thinking or feeling that way as it was demerit which can bring about bad karma to her in the future. “It is a lot of pressure for me. Sometimes, I just want to stop sending money and just live for myself, but this is not right. It is a very serious sin if I abandon my parents. I cannot think in this way. It is already bad just to think about it, but if I really do it, it would be even worse. I don’t want this sin to happen to me later. Doing bad things to parents would cause you to live painfully in the future.”

Along with the karma doctrine belief, all Thai participants also believed in a particular Thai Buddhism proverb as well. All Thai participants mentioned the proverb meaning ‘People with gratitude will prosper in their lives’, during the interview session on the topic of karma and the gratitude culture. They

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believed that this proverb was a moral maxim based on the principles of Buddhism and the karma doctrine. The meaning of this proverb, according to the explanation of all interviewees, was that people who appreciated and reciprocated to their parents based on the gratitude culture practice would definitely have a good life because the positive karma would return to them as a moral reward. All of them revealed that this proverb contributed toward their reciprocating behavior to their parents, and it also influenced them to maintain their gratitude practice as well. Lotus, who worked as a nurse for more than 10 years in Thailand, stated that this proverb was her living principle. She believed that it was a moral truth that reflected the result of being a good child to parents. Lotus honestly believed that she had a good life now because she reciprocated to her parents. “I believe in the proverb of ‘People with gratitude will prosper in their lives’. I believe if you behave as a good child to your parents, your life will prosper. I believe my good life happened because I held on to the gratitude belief and reciprocated to my parents. I believe in the law of karma. I honestly believe what we do to our parents will return to us as either good or bad actions.”

Likewise, Daisy revealed the same attitude and belief towards this proverb. She had a strong belief that this proverb is a living maxim. She literally believed that she had a good life because of her reciprocation to her parents. She also revealed that this proverb encouraged her to continue her remitting behavior. “I believe in this proverb ‘People with gratitude will prosper in their lives’. I believe that the good karma of reciprocating our parents will help us when we struggle in life. Good karma will help us from any troubles in life. I believe in it because I reciprocated to my parents and my life right now is good. Look! I am here, I have a job with a good salary. How can that happen if it is not because of good karma that I did to my parents. This is why I need to keep sending money to them to acquire merits so that I will have a happy life.”

Similarly, Jasmine was currently the breadwinner of her natal family. Jasmine felt obligated to financially support her family because she believed in the gratitude culture, the law of karma, and this moral Thai proverb. She used the proverb to describe her reason for remittance. “Have you ever heard of ‘People with gratitude will prosper in their lives’? You should have heard of it if you are Thai. If you know it, you will not ask me why I sent money to my parents.”

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For Jasmine, this proverb expresses a moral truth based on the law of karma. Like other participants, she honestly believed that she had a good life because of the goodness that she did to her parents. “I keep remitting because I believe in this proverb. I believe it is true. It is the truth of living. Karma is real. Regarding my life now, I believe it is a good example. I have been working in a very bad place and now I am living abroad and working with a good salary. If I denied my parents, I don’t think I would have a good life. Even though I am stressed, and feel pressured, I still have to send money to my parents to collect the merit for my life later.”

Reciprocation and Gender Regarding the reciprocation to parents based on the karma doctrine, many Thai wives in this study revealed that there was a difference of reciprocation between daughter and son. They noticed that their parents had a high expectation for daughters to reciprocate parents in the form of caregiving and material provisions than sons. Many interviewees who had brothers disclosed that their parents did not expect their brother to provide caregiving and financial support. In some cases, for example, Jasmine, Orchid, and Poppy, it was revealed that their brothers never gave money to their parents, and they also never requested anything from their brother. The majority of the interviewees did not know the actual reason behind this different expectation of parents toward their daughters and sons. They only accepted it and reciprocated based on their duty. However, there were some informants who explained the gender difference in reciprocation by claiming that Thai parents only expected sons to be ordained as monks, because this would provide the greatest merit to parents religiously. Unfortunately, I could not find any studies explaining the differences of reciprocation expectation of Thai children in terms of gender. However, the interview with the Thai monk from Thai temple in Stuttgart, Germany, included a brief explanation of the differences of reciprocation to parents of Thai daughters and sons based on Buddhist beliefs. “Thai women here need to work hard to earn money and send it to parents so that they can prove themselves as a good daughter. It is difficult for them to provide caregiving to their parents when they are not living in Thailand. Unlike sons. What Thai sons must do for their parents is to be ordained as a monk. Ordination of sons provides the highest honor to parents and parents will receive the highest merit from it as well, based on our religious belief. This is what daughters cannot do, because they are female. So, what Thai daughters can do is to take care of parents physically and mentally. If one cannot provide any caregiving in return, one must offer material support to parents

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instead, like all Thai women here do. This is what children do to reciprocate their parents’ Bun-Khun.”

He added that: “Thai men can devote themselves to be ordained to be a monk in order to acquire a great merit for themselves and their parents. Monk ordination is the responsibility of sons to repay their parents’ Bun-Khun. It is known as an obligation of sons to offer the greatest honor and merit of learning the Buddha’s instructions to their parents.”

The explanation of the Thai monk was consistent with the interview with Rose’s parents. Rose’s father explained that reciprocation based on the gratitude culture was what children need to do, as it was a Buddhist ritual. He explained that the reason why their daughters had to provide caregiving and materials to them was because they could not be ordained to be monks, as they were female. Thus, they could only do it in a practical, but not religious manner. “Reciprocation to parents is necessary for all Thai children, as we are Buddhists. At a proper time, Thai men need to be ordained to be a monk in some period to acquire a great merit for their parents, while Thai daughters need to provide great caregiving to their parents instead. It is our ritual of living based on our religion. This is why my daughters always send money and offer presents to us, because they respect our living ritual, religion, and decent obligation. It is too bad that we do not have any sons, but I am satisfied with the reciprocation of my daughters.”

Therefore, Thai daughters tended to feel obligated to provide physical care to parents more than sons, based on the condition of ordination in the Buddhist belief. Lotus revealed that she felt the force to remit to her parents as much as she could because she could not be ordained like her brothers. She explained that joining the monk organization was the greatest honor that sons can offer to parents and those who ordained would have acquired a great merit for both themselves and parents. She revealed that she was unable to provide the greatest merit to parents like her brothers, nor was she able to acquire that great merit for herself because of her gender. Thus, she could only provide caregiving and offer material goods to her parents, so that she could collect merit for herself. “Another reason is that I cannot be ordained to be a monk like my brothers. I can’t provide the greatest honor and merit to my parents by ordination. It is a son’s duty. A daughters’ duty is to take care of her parents; prepare meals, housework, offer presents, take them to hospital, something like that. If we are talking about karma, I

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cannot receive the greatest merit by ordination. I can only acquire merit by continuing to reciprocate to parents.”

Parents in an Honorable Position or ‘parents are monks in the house’ was The Thai proverb employed by all Thai woman participants during the interview session to describe their attitude and perception towards their parents. Besides the proverb ‘People with gratitude will prosper in their lives’, all Thai wife informants illustrated that this proverb was also well known among Thai people, and they strongly believed in it as well. Lotus clearly explained the meaning of this proverb: “This proverb emphasizes the importance of parents to children. Monks are known as people who practice good regarding the Buddhist doctrines. Thai people have faith and belief in monks because we believe that they are good people. Monks represent goodness and kindness. We make merit, give alms, and donate things to them because we acquire merit by supporting them to achieve the supreme goal of Buddhism. However, parents also have goodness and kindness as well. The goodness of parents is provided to children. Parents have an infinite Bun-Khun to children because they gave life to them. If we would like to earn merit, we can gain it by supporting our parents as well. In fact, supporting parents would provide more merit to us rather than giving alms to monks. I always believed this is the truth. This proverb expresses the truth based on karma and Buddhist belief. Parents offer a great Bun-Khun to us. We cannot live without parents. I always think of my parents in this way. I always think about their Bun-Khun and kindness. This is why I must reciprocate to them.”

As we can see from Lotus’ statement, this proverb strongly references the gratitude culture and karma belief. It stresses the essence of parents in terms of the infinite Bun-Khun to children and encourages children to appreciate and reciprocate their parents based on the gratitude culture practice. According to the explanation given by Lotus, this proverb states that, in terms of moral quality, parents are equal to monks, which leads children to believe that they should honor, value, and respect their parents to the same level or even more than monks in the sense of a gratitude culture. For this reason, children are culturally enforced to pay respect to, obey, and support their parents’ living, so that they acquire merit. Lotus’ statement was similar to those given by other informants. They were likely to have an extreme belief that, to earn a better merit, their parents were the most important people to provide support to, before making merit to monks. Another aspect of this proverb in their perception was that it stimulated their awareness of indebtedness to their parents’ Bun-Khun. Many informants demonstrated that they felt indebted to the great Bun-Khun of their parents and felt more obligated to

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provide such reciprocation in return to their parents’ Bun-Khun when they thought of this proverb. Rose honestly believed that this proverb expressed a truth of life based on the Buddhist doctrine. She had known this proverb since she was very young, when it was taught to her by her parents. She admitted that this proverb had influence on her remitting practice as it was a reminder that her parents were the most important people who gave her life and raised her, so she needed to support her parents before she thought of making merit. However, Rose felt a lot of pressure because of the feeling of indebtedness. “Parents are the monks in the house for me. Do you know this proverb? They are important for me because they gave life to me, they raised me. People say, ‘we need to make merit to our parents before monks because parents are our monks in the house’, it is so true. If we would like to acquire merit, we had better reciprocate our parents rather than make merit or donate to others. For me, this proverb is like a reminder of my parents’ essence and Bun-Khun. Sometimes, I feel too much pressure about reciprocating to my parents because of this proverb. I don’t know what to say. It is like I have debts that I am unable to repay. My parents never complain, but I feel like I need to reciprocate their Bun-Khun much more than what I did.” Rose added that: “It is compulsory for all children to be grateful to their parents. This proverb is a reminder that parents are the greatest benefactors for children. It would be a demerit for children if they are ungrateful to parents. It does not matter what your parents did to you, I mean, it does not matter whether they are bad or good to you, because they gave life to you. As they are your parents, they are already your provider.”

Rose’s statement is consistent with Daisy’s story. She had been remitting to both of her parents even though they separated since she was in high school, and she had been raised by her mother. She also extended her financial support to the new family members of both her mother and father’s families. She had such a strong belief in this proverb, and with the belief that ‘People with gratitude will prosper in their lives’, that it motivated her to remit to both of her parents from the beginning until the present day. “It is important to appreciate and reciprocate parents’ Bun-Khun whether they are good or bad to you. They are monks in the house. If you want to make merit to monks in temples, it is better to do it with your parents first. You will receive more merit. If you make merit everywhere but not your parents, you will not gain any merits because you did not make merit with the monks in your house in the first place.”

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Lilly’s remitting story was similar. She decided to search for her father, who had abandoned her and her mother when she was born, then she continually remitted to him after she found him. She remitted to him, even though her mother never agreed to it because her father left them and never sent any money to support her. Lilly provided her reason that: “He is my father and parents are the monks in the house…monks of children. I know he did bad things to us, to me, to my mother, but I can’t just do nothing. He is now alone, and no one takes care of him. He has 5 children, including me, but no one takes care of him. As a child, I just had to help him, even though he never helped me. Giving a life is already great Bun-Khun, even though he never raised me.”

Besides the goodness of parents, several informants also referred to supernatural powers of parents that emerge from their position over their children. They believed that parents’ words are holy, as parents give life to a child, so parents have the supernatural power to manipulate their children’s lives. They similarly explained that parents had the capacity to provide blessings or to curse their child. Many of them stated that they often asked for their parents’ blessing when they planned to do something important, as they believed it would help them spiritually. In the case of Lotus, who came from a family with a superior financial and educational status, and who achieved a high education level, she seriously believed in this proverb as well as her parents’ holiness: “For me, parents are a child’s monks. Parents’ blessing is real. I sometimes believe parents’ blessing is more powerful than the blessing of monks. I believe that any child who did something bad to their parents would face many struggles and bad things in their life. It is their sin that they did bad things to their parents, their monks in the house. I would never do such bad things to them, as they are my monks.”

Likewise, Tulip honestly believed in her parents’ supernatural power. She considered being grateful and reciprocating to parents is necessary for children: “That parents are monks of children is the truth. Parents’ blessing works every time. When I worked as a tour guide, I asked my mother to bless me to earn a lot of money and it always worked. I believe parents’ blessing is holy as much as their curse. This is why gratitude and reciprocation are important. I believe any child who hurts or makes their parents feel bad will not be happy for their whole life and will face many struggles.”

Therefore, it is evidently confirmed by all Thai woman participants that parents in the context of Thai society have been uplifted to a high status by Thai children.

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For all informants, they placed their parents as their first priority above themselves and their marriage family. They similarly perceived this pattern of relationship as a cultural norm that was followed in every family. It was not solely the instructions of Buddhism that supported the high position of parents. The position of parents was also enhanced by features of Thai social structure. Concerning Thai social entities, Thailand is a hierarchical society. Thai people’s behavior is influenced by seniority, according to which juniors generally respect the elderly and their seniors (Limanonda, 1995; Nakamura, 1979). This seniority hierarchy has persisted in Thailand over a long time and it applies at the family level as well. Regarding the informants’ family structure, all of them placed their parents in the highest position in the family while perceiving themselves as being followers who needed to obey and respect their parents. They were juniors and their parents were not only seniors but also life leaders. Educating Thai Gratitude Culture Gratitude culture has been officially supported in Thailand for generations. The belief and concept of gratitude culture has long been part of Thai children’s education, both formal and informal, taking the form of moral knowledge in school and moral practice at religious sites (Johnson, 2009; Hasan and Onyx, 2008; Montgomery, 2001; Persons, 2016; Ratanaloan, 2005). All informants confirmed that they had known about gratitude since they were very young. They were raised with the concept and learned it through many channels, for example, from their parents at home, teachers at school, monks at Thai temple, television programs, and Thai drama series. Apart from these channels, nearly all informants revealed that they had absorbed the gratitude concept and practice mostly from observing their parents repaying gratitude to their grandparents, seeing their friends being grateful and providing money to their parents, and noticing the majority of people in their social circles paying gratitude to and reciprocating their parents. All Thai informants considered the gratitude culture to be normalized in Thai society. All of them perceived it as a normal obligation of children and they were never suspicious about it. All informants shared similar stories of learning about the gratitude culture and practice. However, I would like to highlight the stories of three informants: Rose, Orchid, and Lotus. They clearly explained how they had learned and absorbed the concept and practice of gratitude throughout their lives, both through their education and their experiences. Rose shared her experiences of learning about gratitude: “I was taught to be grateful to my parents since I was very young by my parents at home, in school, or even from Thai TV programs. I learn, hear, read, and see

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gratitude everywhere in Thailand, both from informal and formal channels. At school, the teachers teach us to be grateful to parents, to teachers, to the ones who help us. I learned it mostly by observing my parents. They visit my grandparents. They give money, food, presents, and take care of my grandparents when they get sick. It is like in my veins. It has become who I am. It is a warm culture.”

Meanwhile, Orchid, who did not have a lot of experience in Thai schools, shared her personal experiences of learning about gratitude: “ummm… I have known about gratitude and reciprocation since I was very young. I went to temples with my parents often. Monks often teach about gratitude and reciprocation as it is a required merit…a good karma. Also, parents and elderly people in the house and neighborhood taught me that parents offer Bun-Khun to us. They give us life, raise us, take care of us. In my village, adult children who work need to take care of their parents and their parents take care of their grandparents. If someone leaves their parents, and fails to sustain or take care of them, it happens sometimes, then they are ungrateful. They will not be welcomed in the village because they are ingratiated to their parents.”

Likewise, Lotus, who had learned about gratitude since she was very young, honestly believed that it was a good culture that should be continued: “I have known about gratitude since I studied in elementary school. It is the Buddhist’s duty. We have applied the instructions of Buddhism into our culture for so long. We have absorbed this since we were very young, particularly if you are Buddhist. Also, parents teach their children at home about being grateful to parents’ Bun-Khun, and to reciprocate to people who are nice to you. It is a basic cultural belief that we carry on today. I think gratitude is very important. Thai people know about it, talk about it, refer it when they see a child who ungrateful to their parents. It is our living path.”

Reciprocation of Parents’ Bun-Khun Following the instructions of Buddhism, all informants disclosed that reciprocating to parents was about providing both physical and mental care. Physical care is about sustaining parents for their basic needs, such as providing consumer goods like presents, money and caretaking, while mental care is about making the parents happy and joyful as much as possible (Johnson, 2009; Hasan and Onyx, 2008; Montgomery, 2001; Persons, 2016; Ratanaloan, 2005). Also, they thought it was essential for children to behave properly, so that the parents would not encounter grief or distress because of their children’s bad behavior. Regarding all informants’ reciprocation experiences and perspectives, they considered caregiving was more important than providing material items. Although

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the informants reciprocated both physical and mental care, they all intensively provided more caregiving than money or materials to their parents when they were in Thailand. Before moving to Germany, several informants lived with their parents with the purpose of being capable of taking care of them more easily. Meanwhile, informants who lived in different cities than their parents often visited them so that they could fulfill their duties in terms of caregiving. Interestingly, all of them shared a minimum of 50% of their income to their parents every month, whether they lived with them or not. They considered it as an appropriate duty to do for parents. None of the parents required money or materials from the informants. The reciprocation of the participants in this study happened customarily, at their will. Lotus, who lived with her parents before moving to Germany, revealed that the value of money was inferior compared with physical and mental care. She described the way she reciprocated her parents when she was with them: “Reciprocation in terms of gratitude culture is not about money. Money is not a powerful thing to repay parents’ Bun-Khun. I believe that the best reciprocation is to take care of them physically and mentally. I mean such as always being there for them, checking their health, entertaining them, taking them out to eat. Giving money is just a supplement. Money is not enough to repay Bun-Khun. When I was with them, I helped them to take care of the house, buy food that they like and eat together, take them out for a day trip at the weekend, take them to hospital for a health check-up. This is more meaningful than giving them money.”

The same was true for Rose, who believed the actual reciprocation from a gratitude culture was to be with parents and take care of them overall. Money was not the answer to reciprocation. “The actual reciprocation is to be with your parents and take care of them in every aspect; health, household, meals, activities, and yes, including money, but money is not the main point of reciprocation. Money is just a part of caregiving. Even if I give all my money to my parents, it doesn’t mean that I am a good daughter.”

Marriage Migration is an Obstacle of Reciprocation As was firmly affirmed by all informants, money was not the main obligation of reciprocation within the gratitude context. The majority of informants considered their marriage migration as an obstacle to reciprocating to parents in terms of providing physical caregiving. It was confirmed by several informants that they did not want to move to Germany because of parental care concerns. Many encountered a difficult moment when deciding to marry and migrate to Germany with a husband for this reason.

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Lotus’ story provides a good example of parental care concern among Thai woman migrants. She denied Rome’s marriage proposal many times due to the fact that she wanted to live with her parents in order to take care of them. The reason why Lotus agreed to marry Rome and move to Germany was because it was her mother’s suggestion. Her mother wanted Lotus to have a married life and build up her own family. As Lotus had obeyed her parents since she was very young, she married and moved to Germany on her mother’s advice. “Rome asked me to marry and move to Germany with him many times, but I kept refusing. I wanted to be with my parents. I had to take care of them. After my father died, Rome asked me again, but this time my mother suggested that I go. Deep down, I didn’t want to go. I worried about my mother. No one would be able to take care of her. My brothers cannot live with her because they are working in other cities. I wanted to be with her and look after her. But I decided to come here as my mother suggested. It was hard for me to make this decision because living here means I would not be able to take care of my mother.”

Meanwhile, in Lilly’s case, she strongly did not want to live in Germany. She confessed that she felt very guilty and blamed herself for not being able to take care of her mother closely. “Honestly, I never wanted to be here. I worry about my mother. I used to take care of her. I was like the leader in the house who looked after everything so that my mother didn’t need to be concerned about anything. Moving here made me feel so guilty. I am mad at myself. I feel bad that I cannot take care of my mother side by side anymore. This is so ungrateful.”

The issue of being unable to provide caregiving to parents was a serious concern among all informants. It was associated with a feeling of guilt at being unable to fulfill a child’s obligation towards their parents while they were living in Germany. The gratitude culture generally contributed to the emotional experience of being a receiver, which in turn led to a feeling of indebtedness among all informants. All disclosed that they felt indebted to their parents and ashamed of themselves for being unable to repay their parents’ Bun-Khun. Interestingly, these negative feelings occurred without any input from parents or other family members. In the case of Rose, her guilty feeling of being unable to provide caregiving to her parents had emerged as soon as she moved to Germany: “I could say it in this way, that I owe them my life, I can never pay them off for what they have done for me. It is a feeling of indebtedness. I am living here. I am taking care of my husband, I clean, I cook, I behave like he wants, but not for my parents. All

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these things I should do for my parents, not my husband. I feel very guilty toward my parents and the feeling of guilt is growing more and more inside me, especially when my parents never complain anything about it.”

Likewise, Poppy had a problem when she arrived in Germany and found that her husband had changed. She was now facing a crisis in her marriage relationship, but the issue that she was seriously concerned about was being unable to perform the child’s duty. “I have remitted to my parents since I started work. My siblings also remit. I visited my parents as much as I could when I was in Thailand. Now, I can’t. I feel so ashamed of myself. I feel bad. I feel guilty. I cried almost every night. Not being able to remit or take care of my parents is making me crazily guilty. I should not have come here. I am such an ungrateful person.”

Marriage Migration and Gratitude Culture In order to fulfill their reciprocal obligations based on the gratitude culture, sending remittances was considered as the only option among all informants. They all answered the question ‘why did you decide to remit?’ by stating that it was the only way they could repay their parents’ Bun-Khun while they were living remotely from them. Remittances were not perceived as providing an economic improvement tool for their natal family but as implying cultural value and moral obligation among Thai wives. All informants firmly assured that for them remittance is a child’s moral obligation rather than an economical tool. They all planned to remit after their migration and several of them required their husband to send monthly allowances to their parents. They disclosed two important reasons that contributed to their remitting behavior. First, it was because they preferred to maintain their remitting habit. All informants had been remitting to their parents since they started a job in Thailand. Providing money to parents was a common habit among Thai adult children which was normalized in Thailand. Providing money was an easy and obvious way to express gratitude to parents. All informants insisted that they absolutely continued remitting, particularly when they were not living in Thailand anymore. The second reason was because they could not provide caregiving to their parents after migration. Thus, remittance was the only available reciprocation that could prove their gratitude to their parents. Remittance from the Thai wives’ point of view was considered as a compulsory duty towards a gratitude culture. The issue of remittance as an economical resource for parents was intensively discussed during each in-depth interview and focus group. Nearly all informants

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were strongly opposed to this argument. They pointed out that the amount of remittance that they remitted after moving to Germany was much less than the amount they remitted when they were in Thailand. The majority of informants revealed that their remittance amount dropped more than 50% after they married and moved to Germany. As several informants were full-time housewives according to their husband’s wishes, remittances were allocated from their husband’s income, however their husband did not agree with remittances. Although the amount of remittance had been agreed upon before migration, most informants reduced it because they did not want to disrupt their husband’s financial situation. Regarding the amounts that their husbands remitted, they perceived it to be small compared with the amount they used to remit when they worked in Thailand. In the case of Rose, she owned small clothes shop before migrating to Germany. She used to send around 20–40,000 Thai Baht per month to her parents. In Germany, she was a full-time housewife and sent remittances of around 200 Euro to her parents monthly, which is approximately 7,000 Thai Baht (exchange rate 1 EUR = 35 Thai Baht). She strongly disagreed with the stigma of Thai women sending remittances because of economic reinforcement. “I never liked this stigma. The reason for remittances is not only about money. If I had to send money to support my parents for real, I would have chosen to continue to work in Thailand instead of moving here. I used to earn a lot. I remitted much more than I do here. What can my parents do with 200 euro? It is such a small amount compared with what I used to give. The reason why I am still remitting is because I can do nothing for them when I am here. Remittances are the only thing I can do to show them my gratitude.”

Similar to Lotus, she explained that she did not perceive remittances as monetary support. She believed this stigma is outmoded. “Remittances for Thai people are never purely about finance. It may be true for those from very poor families, but it still has more than just an economic meaning. Personally, I remit because I want to give something to my parents in order to reciprocate their Bun-Khun. Money has presented my gratitude to them. I remit much less since I moved here but I still remit to show my recognition of their Bun-Khun. Remittances for me reflect a gratitude culture and are not related to economic factors.”

Additionally, remittances provided an important motive for several informants to start searching for a job, with the purpose of being able to transfer money to their parents by themselves without asking for their husband’s permission. Those who had a secure job remitted more than 50% of their income monthly. Some remitted nearly all of their income. The issue of being unable to provide caregiving to parents led

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them to pressure themselves to remit regularly and as much as they could. Remittance had become a compensation for the parental care which they were unable to provide. For Tulip, she revealed that she did not need to work because her husband, Tony, financially took care of everything, but she decided to work because she wanted to send more money to her parents. Although Tony sent remittances to her parents monthly, it was too small in comparison to the amount she used to remit while she was in Thailand. “I work because I want to remit more. Tony never agrees with remittances, so he only remits such a small amount. Because my parents are not his parents, I understand him, so I need to work. Remittances are very important for me. It is the only way to show my gratitude to my parents, the only way to reciprocate. For me, it is not about money. It is about culture, gratitude, reciprocation. If remittance was about escaping poverty, I would not be here.”

Likewise, Orchid decided to work when she arrived in Germany in order to be able to send remittance because she knew that Oliver would never agree with remitting. They had been arguing about remittance for many years. However, she insisted on remitting because she considered remittances as her gratitude practice towards her parents. “Oliver asks me to stop many times and we fight a lot about remittance. He wants me to rest, to relax, stay at home for him. This is selfish. He only cares about himself but not my feelings. Remittance is the only thing I can do for my parents, my family. I am living far away from them. What can I do for them? If they get sick, can I take them to hospital? Can I be with them? There is nothing I can do but send them money. Nothing I can do to prove my gratitude when I am here. Money is the only solution.”

Concerning the parents, the majority of informants revealed that their parents never required remittances, especially those who had a superior financial status. Interestingly, this reaction of parents increased the feeling of indebtedness and guilt among informants. It contributed to their desire to remit more. Several said that they felt guilty about taking care of their husband instead of their own parents while their husband did not appreciate their caregiving and often expected more from them. Worse was that many German husbands disagreed with remittances and convinced their Thai wives to stop it, even if their wives accepted to be under their control and only ask for remittances to their parents. Those from poor families and with a low education confessed that their parents often put pressure on them in terms of money. However, they attempted to control their negative thoughts and feelings because they

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believed it was normal within the gratitude culture for parents to require a favor in return. In Rose’s situation, she was a full-time housewife according to Ryan’s wishes. She mentioned her feelings towards caregiving to Ryan instead of her parents, stating that: “I clean, I cook, I iron his clothes, take care of his parents, stay home, not working as he wants. But he wants more, always asks for more. While my parents never ask. They always ask me how I am. The only thing I ask him to do for me is remittances, but he says no. This makes me want to cry. I feel so bad for my parents. All these things, I should do them for my parents, not my husband.”

And in the case of Jasmine, she explained that she had been forced to send a lot of money to her family for their living expenses and debts. She confessed that she sometimes wanted to stop contacting her parents, but she needed to control herself because her parents had the right to do this. “Sometimes, I want to live by myself, escaping from my parents. They put too much pressure on me. But they can do it. I owe them for my life. They have the right of parents to require Bun-Khun from me. I cannot think or feel negatively toward them. It is wrong. Ingratitude. Nothing I can do.”

From the interviewees’ perspective, in the context of gratitude culture, remittance was a common obligation for children. Sending remittances carried cultural meaning and moral values among Thai people. It was confirmed by all informants that they would maintain remittances as their common habit in order to present their gratitude towards their parents, even if it became a conflict in their transnational marriage relationship. In this sense, remittance was not an option, but it is a common practice that Thai wives still value from their own culture rather than migrating the economic insufficiency of their natal family. Thai Community Support During my fieldwork, I participated in several Thai events, both public and private. I found that the topic of gratitude existed elsewhere in every event and intensively in the private events of Thai wives. In fact, Thai married female migrants in Germany have been encouraged to uphold the gratitude belief by the Thai community and Thai monks in Germany through Thai events and meetings. In Thai public events, gratitude was promoted and internalized as the essential basic cultural practice of Thai people. Monetary transaction is a normal topic of conversation among Thai migrants. Meanwhile, within the private events which were arranged by Thai wives

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of German men, it was normal to invite Thai monks to provide a Buddhist sermon to increase their good deeds and earn merits. The topic of gratitude, Bun-Khun, and reciprocation is taught concentratedly through Thai monks as it forms one of the main moral bases of Thai Buddhism. The Thai monk from Thai temple in Stuttgart, Germany, explained the importance of being grateful, stating that: “Being grateful and repaying the Bun-Khun of parents are virtues. The virtue is for yourself, for yourself in this life and the next life. You will collect a lot of merits by being grateful to your parents because your parents are your monks in the house. Without parents, without you. Parents have a duty to foster their children and adult children have to sustain their parents in return. It is an obligation on both sides. Gratitude for Thai Buddhism is the main moral. It is the basis of being a good person. It is a virtue for a child to make merit for their parents.”

Orchid often arranged the merit-making ceremony events at her house and invited Thai married women around her neighborhood to participate. She invited me to one of her events celebrating the opening of her new massage shop, which was a meritmaking ceremony. She explained the reason why she liked to arrange this kind of event as follows: “I like to make merit and invite Thai monks to teach. It lifts my spirits. It makes me feel stronger and gain more power for living, working, and earning money for my natal family. I like to gather my Thai friends too. Most of them don’t have a lot of money to arrange or to attend Thai events. Many are struggling with their lives here. Some give up repaying Bun-Khun of their parents. I want to help them to be able to live and gain more merit, to continue to be a good person.”

The encouragement of gratitude belief through Thai events was powerful. It enabled them to retain and, in many cases, increase their belief of gratitude and its practices. Several informants revealed that they like to attend Thai events, particularly those related to Buddhist holidays and activities. They admitted that they rarely made merit or listened to Buddhist teachings from monks when they lived in Thailand, but they liked to do all those things since they moved to Germany. In Rose’s case, she provided her reasons for starting to make merit in Germany: “It is pretty odd that I started to go to Temple and listen to Buddhist sermons since living in Germany. Maybe it is because I miss Thailand. I want to remain Thai. I want to hold on to Thai culture.”

Also, in the case of Lilly, she often asked her husband to take her to attend Thai events in Thai temples.

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“I always ask Luka to take me to Thai temples, to make merit on Buddhist holidays. I have liked to do it since I moved here. I want to make merit. I feel comfort in Thai temples. I miss my home. I miss my mother. Going to temples and attending Thai events and Buddhist activities make me feel good. It feels like living in Thailand again.”

In this sense, gratitude was revealed to be not only a cultural influence on Thai wives’ remitting behavior, but also powerfully attached to the sense of being Thai among Thai woman migrants. Although, Thai wives of German men brought the gratitude culture and practices from their country to the Western culture, the gratitude belief and practices remained robust because of their value and the support given by the Thai community and Thai Buddhist monks. This was undoubtably why the belief of gratitude and sense of child obligation remained strong among Thai wives, even though they were living in a new environment. Moreover, gratitude and reciprocation were not considered as an individual choice but as a moral duty and correct behavior in accordance with Buddhist beliefs and Thai cultural practice. Therefore, from the perspective of Thai wives in Germany, the main reason for sending remittances was not grounded in economic reasons but in Thai culture.

5.3.2

Psychological Motives: Love and Care

The second motivation that encouraged Thai married female migrants in Germany to transmit their money to their natal family was love and caring. The majority of Thai informants revealed that another purpose of remitting was to express their love and care to parents. They regarded their money as having an affection value, which contained their love, care, and consideration towards their parents. Remittances in the form of material things carried the intimacy of migrants to their homeland. Remitting became an emotional remittance in the destination country rather than an economic resource. Beside reflecting the gratitude culture, the remittances among Thai wives occurred as a way of delivering intimacy and caring to strengthen the longdistance relationship between migrants and their natal family. Nearly all informants disclosed that their intention behind transmitting, maintaining and enhancing remittances was to represent their love and caring to their parents. This reason was vividly apparent among informants those who came from families with a mid-higher financial status and who had obtained a higher education. This purpose was also present in some cases from poor families, but it was not cited as an outstanding reason for remitting.

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Sending remittances figured as an important symbol of affection among many Thai wives. In many cases they provided both regular and occasion remittances. Regular remittance was perceived as a child’s obligation in the context of gratitude culture. Meanwhile, occasional remittance intensively served as an indication of their love and care to their parents. Due to the long-distance relationship, most Thai wives reported a lack of opportunities to express their love and care to their parents and kin, such as buying gifts on birthday anniversaries, having lunch or dinner on a special day, and other intimate activities. The occasional remittances were transferred as emotional resources to maintain their positive relationship with their origin family, and were often made on special days such as birthdays, mother-father days, Thai new year, international new year, and some sent money on their own birthdays as well. Interestingly, the amount of occasional remittances was quite high compared with that of regular remittances. Rose transferred money to her parents every month. However, she also sent a higher amount of money on every special day of her parents and on important holidays. Further, Rose usually bought expensive gifts for her parents every time she visited them in Thailand. “I collect money from monthly expenses that Ryan provides to me every month and send around 200 euro to my parents every month. However, I save some of the leftover money for myself and I send it to my parents when it is a special day. It is often a higher amount than the regular one. I also buy a lot of expensive things for my parents when I visit them in Thailand. My husband doesn’t understand why I buy so many expensive presents for parents. He thinks it’s too much. But I think it is too little. If I have to think about the reason for providing those things, it may be because I cannot show my parents how much I love them in person. Money and materials represent my love for them over a long-distance. It seems like nonsense and showing-off. But it is the only way I can show my parents how much I miss them and how much I care about them.”

Rose’s statement was close to Orchid’s opinion towards sending money to support her family. Although Orchid’s natal family was poor and required her to transfer money for the living expenses of the whole family, she also mentioned that she would like to maintain a positive relationship with her natal family. Transferring money was a way to prove her love. “I send a lot of money to support everyone in my family but mostly for my parents. What can I say, I love them. I want to see them happy. I want them to know that I love them, I am still thinking of them, they are my family. Money is the only thing they need, and I can give to them.”

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A similar motivation for remittance was described in many other cases. I found the motive of affection among Thai wives to be remarkably close to the motive driven by the gratitude culture. Many informants often described the feelings and experiences of acknowledging the dedication of their parents for sustaining them during their childhood. I analyzed the differences between the two motivations of gratitude culture and love drives among Thai wives and found that the concept of remittances as transferring love and care was significantly based on their family relationship and childhood experiences. Many informants who perceived remittances as representing love and caring vividly illustrated how much their parents sacrificed for them during their childhood in terms of money. In Thailand, parents needed to fully finance their children from birth until they found a job, or even later. Several informants who came from families with a superior financial status revealed similar childhood experiences towards the nurturing of parents. They explained that their parents put all their financial efforts into supporting them, especially for their education. Many of them experienced some periods during which their parents needed to borrow money, pledged their possessions, used personal loans, refinanced cars or houses, in order to provide the best education for them. For those who came from families with a mid-high financial status, and who had graduated in higher education and got a good job after their graduation, the acknowledgment of their parents’ devotion created a strong bond between parents and children. Lotus was born in a rich family. Her childhood story revealed that she had been fully supported by her parents in everything, especially education. She knew that her parents spent a lot of money on her in terms of living and education. After migrating to Germany, remittances played an important role in maintaining the relationship between Lotus and her mother. This was the feeling that she shared with me: “My parents raised me and never let me struggle in anything. They always provided the best things for me. They did their best for me even though they had to loan money from the bank. I remit because I love them. Because I appreciate their love. My mother never wants my money nor my husband’s money. But I insist on transferring money because this is how I show my mother that I still care about her, I miss her, and I always think about her.”

Meanwhile, informants who came from families with an inferior financial status experienced similar feelings towards their parents, but focused on living shortages. Some Thai wives who came from poor families also conceived remittance as an affection communication. I analyzed their childhood stories and experiences towards their family relationships and examined whether these Thai wives

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had a good relationship with their parents and appreciated their parents’ devotion. Accordingly, they acknowledged their economic shortages and explained that their parents made their best efforts to feed them and raised them through limited resources. Although they did not achieve a higher education and did not have a proper career, they accepted that they had a happy childhood because of their parents. Daisy spent a lot of money on her parents through monthly and occasional remittances. Also, she financially supported her siblings who were born of a different mother and father as well. She revealed her attitude and feelings towards her remitting as follows. “We were very poor when I was young. My parents could not afford my studies. We never had enough money. I saw my parents not eat anything many times because they gave food to us. I saw my parents cry when they couldn’t afford my study fees. I remember those moments of struggle. It makes me love them more. Today, I can’t be with them, but I expect that they will know how much I care about them through my money. Honestly, I want to be there with them, spend good times together as much as I can, but I am here alone. Money is the only thing I can give to them.”

The idea of remittances presenting affection and caring was also shared by the remittances’ receivers. Parents who regularly received an occasional remittance often financially supported the visit of their daughter and German husband in Thailand. In other words, remittance became an emotional family communication that could enhance the love and care between Thai daughters and parents. Tulip and Tony never spent any money while they visited Thailand because Tulip’s parents would buy everything for them. She once asked her mother about this and she revealed her mother’s answer in the following. “I asked my mother why they paid everything for me and my husband. Then, she answered, ‘Because I love you and I want to take good care of you too’. So, I know my love always reaches them in the form of remittances.”

Moreover, I also interviewed Rose’s parents and their interviews confirmed the acknowledgement of affection through remittances. Rose’s mother: “I am happy that she sends money to me, I mean, to us. It’s …uhmm… like she still thinks of me and cares about me. Every birthday, mother’s day, father’s day, or Song-Kran (Thai new year), she sends a lot of money and says ‘go buy a present for yourself or eat something expensive’, it makes me very happy. I miss her so much and I know she misses me too because of remittances.”

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In the long-distance relationship with their family, money apparently carried a meaning and value which helped to fill the gap of closeness between them. Many informants explained that the importance of remittances was not about the amount, but it was about its frequency and marking special occasions. The sheer fact was that remittances were not only an economic resource, but contained important value and meaning, both cultural and emotional. For this reason, Thai wives were very insistent on maintaining their remitting behavior so that they could continue their culture and communicate their love when closeness was limited.

5.3.3

Economical Drive

In the broader sense, remittances have been conceived as an economic resource that migrants transfer to improve the receiver’s household and living status. For Thai female migrants, it was widely understood that those who married German men were from poor families, low-educated, and originally lived in rural areas in Thailand. The image of the ‘poor migrant wife’ has been commonly promoted and internalized both in Germany and Thailand through scholars and shared stories (Boonmathya, 2005; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Lisborg, 2002; Niesner, Anonuevo, Aparocoi, and Sonsiengchai-Fenzl, 1997; Piayura, 2012; Pomsema, Yodmalee, & Lao-Akka, 2015; Ratanaloan, 2005; Tosakul, 2010; Suksomboon, 2008). It was therefore inevitable that remittances of Thai female migrants would be recognized as being motivated largely by economic reasons rather than some other hidden reason. The need to send money among Thai migrants was only perceived through an economical lens while the hidden meaning of remittances was neglected in most studies. Indeed, the economic factor still exists as an influential factor behind transferring remittances among Thai wives in Germany. In this study, one of the remitting purposes among Thai married female migrants was to financially support their natal family. However, this motive was mentioned the least. A small number of informants from families with a low-financial status, who lived in rural areas, and were lowly educated, conceived remittances as their obliged responsibility towards their natal family but admitted that they needed to provide monetary support to their origin family because of poverty. They claimed that, given the financial and education background of their family, none of their family members could possibly improve their living status or earn sufficiently to live. They positioned themselves as the person who earned the most among their family

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members, quoting the high currency rate of the Euro against Thai Baht. So, they concluded that they needed to help their family. Jasmine explained that her remittances were essential for her origin family because they were very poor. None had achieved a good education or had a stable job. She thought that her parents, siblings, and very close relatives were living mostly on her money. She perceived herself as the main financial supporter of her family in Thailand. “It is true that I remit to my parents and relatives because they are poor. We are poor. I like being here more than Thailand. At least, I have a place to live, food to eat, a job to work at. I did not have any money when I was in Thailand. I had to borrow money from other people, begging them for food and money. I am happier being here because I can work and earn money. I can send money to support my family because I know how hard it would be for them without my money. I lived like that once and I will not let them live like that again. I have a good job and a good wage while they don’t have any job. It must be me who supports them.”

Orchid sincerely perceived herself as the main financial supporter of her origin family. She always believed that she had to be responsible for ‘caring, feeding, and sustaining her family members’. She willingly remitted and sustained every family member since she moved to Germany because she knew they could not live well without her support. “I send money to everyone, but my main purpose is to sustain my parents. It is hard to live well in Thailand if you are lowly educated. My parents are farmers, and they earned insufficiently to sustain all of us and were unable to support a good education. We barely ate normally when I was young. And now I can help them because I earn much more than them. I must remit so they can eat normally, renovate the house, my siblings’ children can study properly, no stress of living limited anymore. They will not live well without my support.”

The interesting point here is that these informants were fully responsible for sending remittances without asking their husband for any support. These Thai wives had a job and earned sufficiently to transfer monthly allowances to their family while sustaining themselves in Germany. They were seriously concerned about the stigma of ‘poor Thai women’ and they did not like to rely on their husband, especially when it came to money. They demonstrated that their husband and his family knew their background and tended to conceive them as ‘poor Thai women’ who married for money. These informants were wary of speaking about money in general, including remittances, because they might be suspected of being a ‘gold-digger’ if they requested their husband to send money home.

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Daisy never asked her husband to send remittance to her parents, but her husband and his parents often misconstrued her remittance behavior as meaning that she had married solely for money. Daisy mentioned many times during every interview session that she intensely disliked the picture of the ‘poor Thai wife’. However, she could not deny it, because she was originally from a poor family, and she remitted in order to improve her parents’ living status. She admitted that she remitted to her parents because of poverty. “It is not fair for Thai women to be judged like this. Even though we are poor, it doesn’t mean we don’t have any cultures and norms to follow. Anyway, I can’t refuse to transfer money to take care of my parents. Most of my money is spent on food and daily expenses. I send extra for medical and hospital fees. I need to send money because they cannot afford those living expenses. What can I say? I was born in a poor family and I cannot escape from this stigma. My money helps my parents to live in better conditions, not living as poor people like before.”

However, these interviewees did not completely accept that remittances were solely for economic reasons. In their view, the economic factor was not the main reason for their remitting decision and behavior. They admitted that they could not deny this motive because they came from poor families and their family, especially their parents, still had a low-financial status in Thailand. Although remittances were presented as migrants’ monetary support to their natal family in the host country, they did not perceive transferring money to their parents as a choice made on economic grounds but instead more rooted in cultural meanings and emotional attachments that allowed them to maintain their culture as well as their relationship with their natal family.

6

The Impact of Remittance on Family Relationships

Among Thai married migrant wives, sending remittances has created many exchanges and adaptations in terms of both their natal and marriage family relationships. Remittances have not only affected them financially, but have also had an impact on their relationships in various other dimensions. The issue of sending remittances among Thai-German couples has been a source of marriage conflict for a long time due to the contrasting remitting requirements of Thai wives’ families. In the context of Thai-German married couples, remittances are no longer conceived as an individual choice, particularly for Thai wives who rely on their husband’s income. Instead, they have been considered to be part of a spousal agreement that requires a series of exchanges and negotiations between couples. Sending remittances from the German husband’s perspective is more or less an economic burden, as remittances make up a share of the income of the marriage family. Further, the different perspectives on the importance of remittances between transnational married couples has created difficulties in negotiations and leads to unsolved issues among them. Meanwhile, the natal family generally expected remittances from migrants as they regarded it as part of their cultural heritage, a feeling, obligation, or even in some cases, as an economic resource. The differences in perspectives and attitudes towards remittances have surely contributed to relationship conflicts and adjustments that Thai wives need to confront and manage. In this chapter, the answer to the research question ‘How do the remittance behavior of transnational Thai wives affect their family relationships, both with their natal family in Thailand and with their marriage family in Germany?’ will be narratively revealed. Furthermore, I would like to present how Thai wives handle the discrepancy of remittance demand and how they manage their relationship under this conflict, along with how they perceived their remitting behavior and © The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Fachmedien Wiesbaden GmbH, part of Springer Nature 2023 K. Haklin, Remittance of Thai Female Marriage Migrants in Germany, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-658-41686-7_6

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its effects. Also, an empirical analysis examines the different backgrounds of each key informant with the purpose of clarifying the similarities and differences in their relationship management with reference to their life backgrounds. The results are separated into two main parts in order to present a thorough understanding of each family relationship among Thai migrant wives in Germany. 1. Thai migrant wives and natal family: this part reveals the impact of remittances on Thai wives’ natal family relationship. It mainly focuses on parents and, to a lesser extent, on the relationship between migrants and siblings. 2. Thai migrant wives and marriage family: this part presents the effect of remittances on Thai wives’ marriage relationship. It aims to analyze the marriage couple relationship. The German husbands’ perspective towards remittances has been intensively analyzed. Along with the strategies and management of Thai wives towards remittances, conflicts within their marriage relationship are elaborated. The results are presented in the following sections.

6.1

Part 1: Thai Wife Migrants and their Natal Family

6.1.1

Maintaining the Parents-Daughter Relationship: Cultural Practice Expectation and Proof of Care

In the long-distance relationship, remittances are conceived as the only solidified bond that ties Thai migrant wives to their origin family. All informants considered sending money home as a priority, with the purpose of maintaining their cultural practices and relationships with their parents. Thai migrant wives all transfer allowances mainly to their parents, but only Thai wives who are from poor families tend to provide financial support for their extended family members; however, the focus is mostly on the parents. Thai wives regard their parents as having great importance, and they all intentionally remit in order to maintain a good parents-daughter relationship. Providing money to parents is normalized among Thai people as a practice forming part of the gratitude culture. All informants provided a regular allowance to their parents before they moved to Germany. The purpose of remittances sent by Thai wives is to continue expressing gratitude to their parents. In other words, remittances affirm their gratitude towards their parents’ Bun-Khun and that they need to express this acknowledgement. Maintaining gratitude practice is considered to be key to maintaining a good relationship with parents among all

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informants. All informants revealed that their parents expected them to send remittances, regarding it as a proof of caring and being a core part of their gratitude belief. Further, providing money to parents is conceived as being normal behavior among Thai children. Thus, Thai wives are culturally enforced to maintain this practice. In the case of Rose, she believes that sending remittances to her parents is a normal obligation in the context of the gratitude culture. She shared that her parents never asked for money from her, but she knew that they would be happy to receive remittances regularly or occasionally. Additionally, she believed that her parents expected remittances from her, as it is a proof of gratitude. “My parents never ask me directly to send remittances to them. But eventually I know that they expect that from me. My mother often teaches me about gratitude and reciprocation, so I know what she means. Ummm…for me, remittances are holding us together. It shows that I still care about and love my parents. I cannot stop remitting, because it is an important obligation to be grateful when I am not living with them. If I stopped, I predict that my parents would not be happy, and maybe mad. They will think that I am not a good daughter anymore. If I want to stop, I need to have a good reason for it, such as a financial problem or starting a business, or something like that.”

Like Lotus, she requested Rome, her German husband, to send money to her parents monthly with the purpose of maintaining her monthly allowance practice to her parents after moving to Germany. Lotus mentioned that the amount of the remittances is not that much compared to her mother’s income, but she would like to continue to remit because of the gratitude culture. Along with that she knew that her mother implicitly preferred it. “Sending money home for me is important. As I told you, it is about expressing gratitude practice, reciprocation, and proof of acknowledging parents’ Bun-Khun. Ummm…for a relationship, it is like a bond that connects me and my mother. Sending money shows that I am still my mother’s daughter. I mean…the same daughter, and have not changed. My mother never wants the money, but I know that she is happy to get it because it gives the message that I haven’t forgotten her and I still care about her and I’m still grateful to her.”

Remittances have become a relationship tool that is utilized to bond parents and daughter, and to provide proof of care, framed within the gratitude culture. Transferring allowance regularly assured the recognition of gratitude of migrant daughters towards their parents. It provides security for the parents, reinforcing their belief that their daughters still care and have not forgotten them while living far away. In contrast, the parents-daughter relationship can be fragile without

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remittances, as it is a symbol of care, intimacy, and gratitude that parents are expected to receive from their daughter. For Poppy, she had family relationship problems because she was unable to remit to her parents. Without remittances, the parents-daughter relationship is unstable. Poppy stated that her parents were very unsatisfied that she was not able to send money like she did when she was living in Thailand. Poppy’s father was angry and stopped communicating with her. Meanwhile, her mother tried to ask Poppy to search for a job and start sending money home to prove her gratitude. “For my parents, it is important to send money home regularly. You know….ummm…it is a gratitude culture. We need to present it in some ways and money is another way to show our gratitude. My parents expected a monthly allowance because I used to provide it to them. I believe they don’t expect remittances in the way of monetary support because my two siblings send money to them regularly and it is enough for them to live well. I think they are just scared that I will forget them and don’t care about them anymore. Remitting is like a confirmation that I still think about them and am grateful to them. That’s why they are mad when they don’t receive it.”

Later, Poppy remitted around 50–100 euros to her parents monthly after she got a part-time job; however, she revealed that it was difficult to restore the relationship after her parents lost trust in her. It took nearly one year of continually sending remittances to make her father talk to her again. Interview question: “How is your relationship with your parents after you regularly send money?” “It is better, but it takes time. My father talks to me now, but he is still upset and often mentions the time I didn’t remit. He thinks I have a happy life in Germany and cut them off from my life. Now, I just need to continually send money to them every month to make them know that I will not leave them. At first, I worried about the amount of money. But it turns out that the amount doesn’t matter for my parents. They only want me to remit regularly to be sure that I am still caring and I am the same daughter for them.”

The regularity of remitting has been intensively emphasized among Thai parents, rather than the quantity of allowance. The majority of participants similarly disclosed that their parents were more concerned about the frequency than the amount of monthly allowance. Most informants mentioned that their parents did not request the amount of monthly or occasional remittances, but asked about remittances when they discontinued remitting.

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The experiences of the informants were correlated with their parents’ perspective. In the interview, Rose’s parents shared similar perspectives towards the value and importance of remittances. They conceived remittances as a normal child’s obligation in the gratitude culture, next to love and care expressions, while Rose was living in Germany. Rose’s parents both worked as teachers. At the time of the interview, both of their daughters, Rose and Rita, were married to German men and were living in Germany. Rose’s parents thought of the monthly allowance as an appropriated gratitude practice. Meanwhile, from their perspective, the occasional remittances represented love and care. Rose’s mother: “Many Thai women send money home because of poverty, but it is not for our family. We never ask for money from our children. They themselves are willing to provide it.” Interview Question: Why do you think Rose provides money to you? “Let me put it in this way. In Thai society, we have a culture that has been taught and fostered within the family for generations. It is a gratitude culture. Do you know it? Do you know why children need to repay parents’ Bun-Khun? It is all for their own sake. They will receive good karmas if they do good karmas. Abandoning parents leads to very bad karma effects. To return the parents’ favors, it is important to take good care of them. For me, I prefer Rose to be here rather than living in Germany. But she is there and sending money is her choice of presenting gratitude. I cannot ask her to stop because it is her way of following the gratitude culture, which should be the same if she lives in Thailand.” Rose’s father: “There are many ways to present gratitude to parents. We are not expecting a big amount of money from them. We never ask, ‘how much money will you send this month?’. We just let her decide it by herself. We cannot refuse it as it is her goodness.”

Interestingly, Rose’s parents added that receiving remittances created many positive feelings that consolidated the bond between parents and migrant daughters. Receiving remittances comforted parents in terms of ensuring a secure relationship with their adult children. Besides, remittances became a measurement of goodness for adult children, which according to Rose’s parents’ perspective reflects their parenting achievement. Rose’s mother: “Every time I receive money from my daughters, I feel happy. It is not about whether I got money but it is like…I still have daughters. They don’t forget me. They still think of their old parents. Every time they transfer money, they call me or their father to say

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that they sent money. This makes me know that my daughters are good children. It was worth my time to raise them because they turned out to be good.” Rose’s father: “Same for me. When my daughters send money for birthdays, new year’s day, I am happy. It is a small thing that creates happiness. I am happy to have good daughters. When neighbors say that we have such good daughters, it makes me proud of them. We raised them in the right way. They have a good life, good family, and still are good children.”

Thus, in order to maintain the relationship with their parents, remittances are necessary among Thai wives, whether they are living in Germany or Thailand, as providing money to parents is considered as a normal moral obligation for adult children in a gratitude culture. All informants confirmed that they remit as part of a normal pattern of reciprocation and that they will definitely continue to do it unconditionally. The meaning of remittances was strongly connected to culture and moral values that Thai parents and migrant daughters fully understood and accepted. This is the reason why Thai migrant wives willingly remit, even though sending remittances is a sensitive issue in their marriage relationships.

6.1.2

Family Relationship and Family Socioeconomic Status

Sending remittances was not the sole determinant that enabled a positive and stable family bonding for Thai migrant wives and their origin family. Maintaining and developing the relationship requires collaboration from every person involved in the relationship. Regarding the purpose of remitting among Thai wife migrants, they all strongly expected that the remittances would help to sustain the happy relationship between them and their natal family members, especially with their parents. However, the response of the natal family towards the monetary support of migrants was also involved in relationship attachment. From the empirical findings of this study, the remittances contributed to the relationship between Thai migrant wives and their natal families in two aspects. The socioeconomic family factor is involved as an essential influenced variable that determined the relationship boundary between Thai wives and their family members. The results reveal that informants who were from families with a middle or high socioeconomic status generally had a healthy relationship with their parents and kin. Sending remittances was deemed to complete their parents’ expectation in terms of cultural practice and emotional attachment. The majority of them remitted only to their parents. The quantity of remittance did

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not appear as an important issue among those from superior financial/educational backgrounds. Many informants were confident that they would maintain a good relationship with their natal family as long as they continued their remitting practice to satisfy their parents. In contrast, informants who were from poor family backgrounds were facing a delicate family relationship. The expectation of the natal family towards remittances was high and unachievable. Although Thai wives from poor families sent money home mainly to support their parents with an expectation to uplift their parents’ living conditions, many of them ended up sending remittances to support their kin as well. The interesting point here was that most Thai wives from poor families spontaneously offered higher quantities and a higher frequency of remittances to their natal family. Moreover, they eventually provided extra cash according to the requirements of the receivers. Orchid is among those from a poor family. Her parents and siblings were still working as farmers, but barely earned enough for a living. Orchid fully financially supports her whole family in Thailand. In the beginning, she remitted to her parents, then she extended financial support to her siblings. Presently, she supports all of her family members; parents, siblings, siblings’ family, some relatives, and also provides financial help to neighbors sometimes. This happens because of her parents’ request. She frankly admits that sending remittances is a heavy burden for her, but she must continue remitting because of their circumstances. Orchid knows that her parents and siblings are not able to have a better life by themselves due to their socioeconomic status. Thus, she makes a maximum effort to take care of them. Unfortunately, she sincerely admits that she doesn’t feel like she has a happy relationship with them. “I support everyone in my family. At first, I only wanted to send money to my parents, but they also shared it with my siblings, so I needed to send more. I renovated our house, bought properties, started a business in my hometown for them. I wanted them to live by themselves…I mean my siblings. But it is hard because we didn’t study that highly. I cannot blame them. We are poor, we only know how to work on rice fields but not how to manage a business or have a good job.” “I think what I do is the right thing. I want them to be happy and I want to be happy with them. But I don’t feel that way. The more I send money, the more they request. I have sent many million Thai Baht already, but I don’t feel we have a good relationship. They are often upset if I don’t send money when they want. My parents always expect more from me. Sometimes, I ask myself ‘what did I do wrong?’, ‘why don’t we love each other like before?’. Sometimes, I am jealous of Thai wives who have good parents…parents who never ask for money. They remit less than me, but they have better relationships. Maybe it’s because we are poor.”

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The case of Orchid was similar to nearly all cases who were from poor family backgrounds. The family relationships of both key and secondary participants who had inferior family backgrounds closely resembled each other. The family socioeconomic factor created a situation of financial dependency among the Thai wives’ natal families. It placed many of the Thai migrant wives in uncomfortable situations as they understood their family’s living conditions and were expected to raise their family’s socioeconomic status by providing unlimited financial help. In order to analyze the perspectives towards remittance of families with different socioeconomic statuses, the explanations of remittance motivations among natal families are essential. The results showed that the expectation and importance of remittances between lower and higher socioeconomic family status differed. The majority of informants, both key and secondary, revealed that parents and kin have considered them as ‘a rich foreigner’s wife’ and believed sending money was not difficult for them. The image of a ‘rich foreigner’s wife’ is popular among Thai people but it is particularly dominant among those who are from families with a low financial status. Meanwhile, parents of informants who were from superior backgrounds had a negative attitude towards marrying a foreigner. These parents tended to worry about the subsistence of their daughter rather than the high amount of remittances they would receive, because they mostly know the difficulties of settling in a new country, while poor parents were less likely to have such a picture. The image of a ‘rich foreigner’s wife’ has a negative effect on both Thai wives and their natal families. Natal families tend to have numerous financial needs due to their misunderstanding of the Thai wives’ image. While nearly all informants failed to explain this miscomprehension to their origin family, most of them desperately confessed that they were unable to search for better solutions, other than sending money according to their family’s requests. Failing to do this would cause the family relationship to be seriously disconnected. Jasmine was from a very poor family. She had been raised by her grandmother and only achieved a lower secondary education level. She worked in the sex industry before migrating to Germany. She became a main breadwinner for her natal family, which consisted of her parents, grandmother, and younger brother. She confessed that she was miserable about sending remittances. She found that the image of a foreigner’s wife significantly affected her family relationship. She emotionally explained her situation as follows: “My parents believe that I am rich, my husband is rich, and money is not a problem. They never believe me when I try to explain that this is wrong. They keep asking for more money. They always want money. Every time they call me, it is only about money.

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I am so tired of money conversations. I cannot say no to their requests because …. you know… they are my family. It is the gratitude culture that I need to follow. And I know they have a hard life. May I say the truth? I sometimes want to cut them off from my life. (a long pause because of crying)….You know I can give them everything, only if they act nicer to me. I just don’t want to feel like they only love my money.”

It is understandable that low socioeconomic factors entail that the natal family will have many living issues. Monetary support from migrants is deemed to be the easy solution to uplift a family’s living status. The purpose of enriching family bonding has been neglected among family members because subsistence takes priority. In contrast, Thai wife migrants are essentially focused on maintaining their relationship with parents and kin. These conflicting purposes towards remittances contribute to an incongruous relationship. However, there was an exceptional case. In the case of Daisy, she was from a very poor family as well. Daisy’s parents used to work on a construction site. Her parents divorced when she was young and they both remarried. She mostly took care of herself in terms of financial support. She achieved the vocational educational level mostly with her own money, and likewise her siblings, who all achieved a vocational or higher education level by themselves. Daisy explained that her family still had a low financial status, but she had a pleasant relationship with them. She now sends monthly allowances to support both extended families of her father and mother. The interesting point here is that her siblings also make contributions to her parents, which results in less financial pressure for her. “I have good relationships with everyone in my family; my father and mother’s new families. I think I am lucky. My situation is better than other Thai wives. Many have to send money to the whole family. But my sister and brother give money to my parents as well. They have a good job. I think it is because they have quite a good education. It is important if you want to have a good job like working in the office or something like that. I feel thankful to my siblings. I don’t need to worry too much about my parents. And my parents don’t need to worry about money. We three generally send money every month.”

Daisy’s situation was different from other poor Thai wives. Daisy’s case is rare, and she was the only exceptional case among all the cases of Thai wives from poor families in this study. The factors of education and career have a certain connection with the family relationship pattern. Daisy points out that her siblings’ education and employment status enable them to equally provide financial support to their parents. Informants from poor families generally only finished higher secondary education, just as their siblings, which limited their career opportunities. Most Thai

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wives from poor families worked in the sex or labor industry before getting married and migrating to Germany. Concerning most Thai wives’ siblings, they usually achieved a low education level and commonly worked either as farmers or laborers and barely earned enough for a living. Most informants from poor families eventually provided financial support to their siblings as well. However, there were silent exchanges between siblings. Many informants voluntarily offered monetary support to siblings, close relatives, or in some cases, both, in exchange for physical support for their parents. As siblings were unable to provide material things to parents, they provided physical care and services instead. In contrast, Thai wives in Germany could not provide any physical care, so they were willing to compensate by providing money. Many informants financially supported the family’s activities, living expenses, medical care, and so on, and then eventually ended up supporting the whole family. In the focus group interview at a Thai temple in Stuttgart, the topic of siblings was actively discussed and the perspectives of the participants shared many similarities. Interview question: ‘Why do you give money to your siblings and relatives?’ Interviewee A: “I asked my sister to move back to our home and take care of our parents by offering a monthly salary for her. Then she got married, had kids, and I sent money for her family too.” Interviewee B: “They are poor. My brother and sisters are very poor. We have a rice field so all of them work as farmers. My siblings live and eat together with our parents so it’s like they use my money as well. I am fine with it. At least, I am sure that they take care of our parents.” Interviewee A: “Totally! We can’t be there with our parents. Sending money is what we can do. This is why I support my sister’s family, both her husband and kids.” Interviewee C: “Who else can we trust if it is not our close relatives. I am lucky to have siblings. I need to send money to my aunt and uncle who my mother often asks for favors. Lately, they are requiring money too much and too often. But I need their help to look after my mother. If one day I go back there, or my mother dies, I will not send any money.”

Many informants believed this exchange is a form of mutualism. However, it can turn out to lead to dependency in the long term. Orchid once sadly admitted the consequence of remittances for her whole family. She regretted it. She now found that all her siblings, including their family members, partners and children, mostly relied on her. She realized that she had spoiled them too much and it made them stop actively improving their living by themselves.

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“They got used to it after several years. I didn’t know at first. I just noticed when my niece asked me to find her a rich German man so she can be like me. They believe I am rich, having a good life, good job, earning a lot, and having a wonderful rich husband. I told them many times how I work very hard here, but it never works. They are never considerate when asking me for money. I just let it go. Now I feel guilty because I give them too much. I don’t know how they can live without me. Now, my parents are still alive, so it is okay for me to continue sending money. But later, I will need to decrease it. And it will be a big problem for them and me.”

In contrast, financial dependency was not an issue for Thai wives who were from superior family backgrounds. According to the informants’ experiences, Thai wives from middle and higher-class families never encountered a high financial demand from their natal families. None provided money to siblings or relatives but offer occasionally, depending on the situation. Money was not an issue among them and their family members. However, they experienced a different conflict related to the high expectation of a successful marriage and living abroad. From the results, all the cases of superior Thai wife migrants (by this I refer to education level, family status, and previous career) are expected by their parents and kin to have a perfect life aboard. Issues arise from this belief because most Thai wives from superior families were compelled to awkwardly keep most of their problems to themselves, particularly marriage conflicts. Lotus used to share everything with her mother. She had lived with her parents since she was born and never wanted to move away until she married Rome. It was Lotus’s mother who supported her marriage as Lotus’ age was suitable for having a married life. As Lotus comes from a family with an upper level financial background, she never experienced any difficulties in life until she moved to Germany. She needed to become a housewife according to Rome’s wishes. She could not afford much personal shopping due to her limited allowance from Rome. She needed to work as a laborer to avoid an uncomfortable feeling of financial insecurity. Lotus could not share any of these negative circumstances with her mother because she knew her mother would be extremely worried and disappointed. “My family has a good relationship. They all are so nice, like they used to be. They believe I have a happy life here. This is why they take care of my husband so well when we visit Thailand. But I am not that happy with him or life here. I can’t tell my mother about this because she will be sad. She wants me to be married so I can be happy without her by my side. It is embarrassing to say this, but I am lonely here. Sometimes, I can’t bear this expectation. I miss my life in Thailand, but I need to make this marriage work for my mother.”

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Likewise, Rose shared a similar situation. She said that her parents expected her to have a good life as well as a good marriage in Germany. She could not discuss any conflicts in life or marriage with her parents. Concerning remittances, she has been sending the monthly expenses to her parents secretly. Further, she kept purchasing expensive presents for her parents every time she visited them in Thailand, and she often lied to her parents that the present was Ryan’s idea, to make her parents believe that she had a lovely husband and that she is happy with him. She sincerely admitted that she did not want to disappoint her parents. She wanted them to be happy and not worry about her. “Ryan is not what my parents expected. He is not that generous. He neither agrees with remittances nor presents. I only talk with my sister about this but never share it with my mother. I know they will be very sad and disappointed. Leaving them is already bad, I can’t make them worry about me. Now, we are on a good track. Everyone is happy. I have a good relationship with my parents. I just need to continue living like this.” Interview question: What about your feelings? “Honestly,…I feel alone most of the time. Sometimes, I suddenly cry. Most Thai wives I know say that I’m lucky to have good parents, a good husband, and a good life. I don’t need to support the whole family like them. I also think I have a better life than them but I am not happy as well. I think we all have problems, but it is just in different ways. And they will never understand me.”

Rose’s statements reflect the reality of Thai wife migrants’ lives. Everyone has problems but in different ways. The family relationships among those who had a superior background are not related to money issues but instead stress an emotional compromise. Meanwhile, those from families with a poor financial status face seemingly endless money problems. Remittances are a connection tool that migrants use to bind the relationship with their family. Although the purposes of remittances are similar, the effects are different regarding the family’s expectation. Socioeconomic status is one of the important factors that can predict the remittance behavior and family relationship among Thai wife migrants. It determines the reason for remitting, its amount, and the family perception towards remittances. Nevertheless, remittances exist as a compulsory obligation that is required by migrants’ families, whether with a cultural, emotional, or financial expectation.

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6.1.3

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Parents are Central to the Family Relationship

The empowerment of Thai parents is present throughout the Thai migrant wives’ life stories. All informants intensely focused on their parents more than any other members of the family. They were deeply concerned about their parents’ living conditions, health, feelings, and even thinking, and tending to adapt themselves to meet their parents’ desires. The family relationship among Thai wife migrants is the relationship between them and their parents. The parents played a significant role in the family relationship. They had the power to determine the direction of family relationships. According to all informants’ experiences, parents were the most powerful people within their family. Nearly all informants admitted that they did not pay much attention to maintaining their relationships with siblings and absolutely ignored maintaining their relationship with other relatives while they were living in Germany. They explained that it was important to have a good relationship with their parents and this, in turn, would automatically lead to a good bonding with their siblings and relatives. In Tulip’s case, she frankly shared that she did not need to be concerned about the relationship between her and all her siblings, as long as she had a good relationship with her parents. In Tulip’s opinion, she believed her relationship with her parents to be the most important. Her parents took a central position between her, her siblings, and other relatives, and through them, she would bond with all her family members, either in positive or negative ways. She admitted that she rarely talked with her siblings and relatives. She only communicated with the rest of her family members via parents. “I think the important thing is to keep a good relationship with my parents, not others. I never have any problems with any of my siblings or relatives because of my parents. They organize the relationship for me. They are very nice parents. I believe as long as I have no problem with my parents, I will not have any problems with the rest as well.” Interview question: “What would happen if you had a problem with your parents?” “I will definitely have problems with the rest as well (laughing). My siblings believe everything my parents say and so do I. If one of my siblings has a problem with my parents, I will be mad at them too.”

Parents are placed in a central position in the family. The relationship between migrants and their kin depended on the bond with their parents. Poppy’s story strongly affirms the empowerment of her parents in her family relationship. She had been suffering because of her father’s dissatisfaction towards her inability to

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remit. She was unable to send money home when she first arrived in Germany, and it took her nearly four months to search for a part-time job and begin to remit to her parents again. After nearly a year of continually remitting, Poppy’s father still had not completely forgiven her. As sending remittances is considered to be an essential gratitude belief practice and proper behavior for adult children, not providing remittances can lead to tension in family relationships, and in Poppy’s case, being ignored by her father. Poppy needed to apologize not only to her father, but to everyone in the family. She received many unpleasant complaints from her mother, all her siblings, and some close relatives about her behavior upsetting her father. She admitted that she was extremely stressed and felt guilty about it. “Now, the relationship between me and my family is okay. My father is getting better but has not totally forgiven me. Before, it was extremely bad. I was unable to send money and my father didn’t understand why I couldn’t. Then, everyone was mad at me. They believed my father that I may abandon our family. It was the worst time in my life. No one wanted to talk to me. It’s like I was living alone in this world.” Interview question: “Why is it like that? Sending money has nothing to do with your siblings, does it?” “It does not. They were just mad because I hurt their father’s feelings. I disappointed him. I don’t blame them. If one of them hurt my parents’ feelings, I would be upset too. It is normal. Don’t you think? For us, Thais. Parents are the most important people.”

Parents play a functional role in the family, enabling them to shape the relationship structure of their migrant children and others. Not only do they have the power to dominate family bonding, but parents also significantly dominate the perspectives and behaviors of family members towards remittances of migrants as well. Among all informants, parents are the key people who connect them to other family members, either siblings, relatives, or even outsiders like neighbors and friends of the family. Sending money to parents is normalized between parents and their children, but it is an option between migrants and others. For informants who had experiences providing financial support or occasionally helping people other than their parents, for example, siblings, relatives, and family outsiders, they all did so because of requests from their parents. This was particularly the case among Thai wife informants from poor backgrounds who had become a full breadwinner for their natal family. The parents’ requirement to provide financial support to siblings or relatives was unrefusable for Thai wife migrants. However, providing financial support was not a temporary responsibility. Thai woman migrants needed to bear the breadwinner position endlessly.

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Meanwhile, those remittance receivers who were not parents would get used to their receiving position, and this became a pattern of the relationship between them and migrants which was mediated by the parents. In the case of Orchid, she was providing monetary support to everyone in her family and extending her support to the extended family of all her siblings as well. She revealed that she started to support them all due to her parents’ desire and she has never escaped from this position since then. Orchid considered it normal to accept her parents’ requirements. However, she noticed that her relationship with her siblings had changed since she began to financially support them. “I was very close with my siblings when I lived in Thailand. Now, we are still close but in different ways. They mostly call me when they need money to buy things or travel. I don’t really like it. Sometimes, I tell them that they have changed, but they don’t see it.” Interview question: ‘Can you discuss it with your parents and ask them to help?’ “(laughing) It does not work. My siblings can, but not me. When I don’t give money to them, they can ask my parents to talk to me about this. Then, my mother said that I have to help my siblings, so I transferred money to them. I think they have got used to it now. My siblings believe I will give money every time they ask.”

In contrast, in the case of Rose, she had a good relationship with her younger sister, Rita, who is now married to a German man she met when she was a babysitter in Germany. Rose’ parents never requested her to provide any financial help to others, including her siblings and close relatives. They did not want people to disturb their daughters in terms of money. In Rita’s interview, she described being taught by her parents not to ask for money from Rose because it was not proper behavior to require money from a sister who is unemployed. Rita only asked her parents to help her when she had financial problems, and she learned to respect Rose in the way her parents instructed. “I don’t earn much by working as a babysitter. Living in Germany costs more than I expected. But I can’t ask for money from Rose. She is jobless and relies on her husband’s money. She offers me money sometimes, but we can’t let our parents know about it. They will be mad. They don’t want me to disturb Rose. They kept telling me this ever since I planned to go to Germany. I also agree that I need to stand on my own and not rely on other people’s money.”

Harmoniously, Rose’s statements also confirmed her parents’ perspective, which helped Rose avoid an unpleasant relationship associated with obligated remittances.

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“My parents are very strict about borrowing money. I am lucky. My parents never let anyone borrow money from me. If I want to offer, they are okay, but it is not like they forced me to provide. Even my sister rarely asks me for help.”

Differences in the viewpoint of the parents can lead to differences in the relationship patterns in the family, particularly about remittances. That parents are central within the family unit is firmly accepted by all informants. Among the informants, both key and secondary, it was deemed common for parents to have this kind of function. In fact, many of them agree that it is a preferable relationship pattern for them. They find it saves time and makes them feel secure to have parents arrange their relationship with family members for them, while they only need to concentrate on sustaining their relationship with their parents. Even informants who are not happy to be a breadwinner tend to voluntarily allow their parents to manage the relationship between them and other family members because they trust the parents. Poppy once mentioned that she found it easy to solve conflicts in the natal family. All she needed to do is talk to her parents and all the conflicts would be easily solved. “Making my parents mad is the worst situation and it is hard to solve. But all I need to do is to make my father forgive me. Even all my siblings are mad at me too. It is fine because when my father forgives me, all of them will do too. It is like that all the time. Every time we fight, what I need to do is talk to my parents. Then the problem will be solved. This is why we have parents.”

6.2

Part 2: Thai Wife Migrants and their Marriage Relationships

6.2.1

Relationship Before Marriage: the Thai Women Stigma, Money Issues, and Remittance Awareness

Before I illuminate the impact of remittances on the marriage relationships of Thai migrant wives, I would like to briefly provide information about the relationship of Thai wife informants and their German partners before they got married, as it is significantly related to the remittance conflict in their marriage life. The empirical findings of this study show that the remittance conflict among transnational Thai-German spouses had already been established in their relationship

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before marriage. The remittance issue did not clearly emerge during the relationship however, it silently existed among couples as an unspoken issue from the time they were together. All Thai migrant wives, both key and secondary informants, similarly admitted that they were greatly concerned about the money factor during their time with their German partner. They worried about the stigma of Thai women, who were mostly perceived as poor women from poor families, lowly educated, and who dreamed of marrying a foreign man to upgrade their living standards. All informants were scared of being considered as one of those Thai women. They revealed that they always carefully behaved when it came to money. They avoided speaking about money and rarely requested anything from their German boyfriend. For Thai woman informants who had a high education and a decent career in Thailand, they similarly stated that they never requested any treats from their German partner when they were on a date or traveled together. Many of them frankly admitted that they often paid for their German partner when he visited Thailand. Meanwhile, those from poor families with a low education were treated by their German partner, however they never felt happy about it. They needed to obey and rarely had any opinions or requirements due to an awareness that the money was not theirs. Rose admitted that she was seriously concerned about the negative image of Thai women. She carefully behaved in every aspect when she spent time with Ryan, especially with regard to expenditure habits, because she did not want Ryan to think of her as a gold-digger. She often paid for herself and offered to treat Ryan several times. “The scariest thing for me is to be considered as one of those gold-diggers. The image of Thai women is well known in that way, even Ryan knew it. I always carefully behave when I spend time with him. I dress well, don’t party, don’t drink. I never ask him to pay anything for me. I have offered to pay for him many times. I bought him many presents. I found it very stressful to have a relationship with a foreign man. I would feel more freedom dating a Thai man.”

Likewise Lotus, who worked as a nurse when she was in Thailand. She had a very good salary. She revealed that she always paid for Rome when he visited her in Thailand. She was aware of the negative image of Thai women and she did not want Rome to think of her in that way. She never asked Rome to pay or buy anything for her and her family. On the contrary, Lotus often bought presents for Rome’s family without his request.

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“During the relationship, I often paid for him in everything, meals, clothes, movies, snacks, and many small things. I don’t want him to think of me as a gold-digger. He already had a bad picture of Thai women about money. He thinks most Thai women want to marry a foreign man for money. I never ask him to buy anything for me or my family. I think he likes it this way. He also never pays anything when he visits my family.”

Meanwhile, in the case of Daisy, she used to work as a bargirl when she met Danny. She left the job because Danny offered her financial support. Danny sent money to Daisy every month before marriage. He also visited her once a year for three years before deciding to get married. Daisy disclosed that she was not very happy when she spent time with Danny. She revealed that it was uncomfortable to be the follower and unable to make any decisions. She admitted that she let Danny decide everything because he paid for her. Furthermore, she did not want to look like a needy Thai girlfriend. Daisy requested neither extra money nor anything from Danny as she was always aware of her image, because she worked as a bargirl before. “I was always aware that I lived by his money. I usually did what he wanted to do, eat, or go out. I never gave any opinions and he also never asked. I was scared that he would think of me as one of those gold-diggers. You know, I used to work as a bargirl. My family is very poor. He could easily think that I may be one of those Thai women who marry a foreigner for money. I never asked for more money or anything. I never shop. I never requested to go anywhere, to eat or buy anything. I was not happy, but it is better than having him think of me in a bad way.”

Although all Thai wife informants were aware of the stigma of Thai women and carefully behaved in terms of money, they did not realize that remittances would be an issue. All of them had remitted to their parents for a long time before they met their German partner and continued to remit during the relationship. All informants firmly assured that their German partner clearly knew about their remitting habit and none of them mentioned it or made any negative comments about it. Most informants, particularly those who previously had a decent career in Thailand, similarly shared that they briefly explained to their German partner about the reason for providing money to parents in terms of cultural practices, and mentioned that they voluntarily provided it without their parent’s request. On the other hand, the rest of the informants never explained or said anything about their remitting. Tulip asserted that she explained the reason for remitting to Tony when they were together before marriage. She had not intended to explain it, but the subject arose when she was sharing news of her activities during the day, which

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included providing money to her parents. Tulip said that Tony didn’t say anything or comment on the remittances. So, Tulip thought that Tony clearly understood remittances in terms of gratitude culture. “I told him about our gratitude culture and reciprocation to our parents. I explained this to him a long time ago. I told him that I remitted because it was our culture and explained details about it. He didn’t say anything, so I assumed that he understood the concept and the reason for remitting.” Interview Question: ‘Why did you decide to explain it to him?’ “uhmmm…it was not intentional. I was just sharing my day with him and I sent money to my parents on that day. It was just my normal routine, so I told him. Tony knew that I sent money to my parents every month. I also wanted him to know that my parents never requested money from me. I don’t want him to think negatively about my parents.”

In the case of Lilly, she worked as a bargirl when she met Luka. Then, Luka offered the funds to open a small grocery shop for her and asked her to leave her job. Lilly owned the business and was able to support her family. She revealed that Luka knew that Lilly fully supported her family. He never mentioned anything before marriage. Lilly never explained the reason for supporting her family to Luka because she thought Luka completely understood and accepted it. “I just did not think that it was necessary to explain. Luka never asked. He knew everything.” Interview Question: ‘What do you mean by ‘he knew everything’?’ “I mean he must have known that I support my family. He didn’t know about gratitude culture and repaying parents’ Bun-Khun, but he knew that I did it because I loved them. He never complained about it, so I guessed he was fine with it. I never thought that it would be a problem later.”

It is obvious that the Thai wife informants did not realize that the remittances would cause conflict. None of the informants experienced any argument about it during their pre-marital relationship, and the subject was never discussed. All informants similarly believed that providing money to parents was a common practice and assumed that their German partner accepted it, since they heard no complaints about this issue. Rose revealed the reason why she didn’t discuss or explain remitting to Ryan during their relationship before marriage.

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“As I told you before, I didn’t want him to think of me as a gold-digger, like the image of Thai women. Remittances are about money. I didn’t think it would be a good idea to discuss it when we were still not sure about the relationship. I told him that I give money to my parents every month. That’s it. At that time, if he had asked me, I would have explained, but he didn’t ask or say anything. So, it was not a good moment to talk about money that he wasn’t even involved with.”

Rose’s reason was similar to those of many Thai wife informants. Most Thai woman informants found it useless and risky to explain or discuss remittances when the relationship was not secured. They similarly accepted that conversation about money can easily lead their German partner to misconstrue their image. During the focus group interview, the topic of ‘why don’t Thai women tell their German boyfriends about remittances?’ was actively discussed. Interviewee A: “It is too risky to speak too soon. He can get the wrong image and misunderstand that you want his money.” Interviewee B: “Right, it is hard to talk about money with a foreigner. They always think that Thai women want to marry them because of money.” Interviewee A: “We really need to be careful. Even when the time comes, and we need to speak out about it. We need to find the right time to say it.” Interviewee C: “(laughing)…There is no right time to explain about sending money home. But if you say it too soon, it obviously means you want his money and you are a gold-digger.” Interviewee A: “It would be easy if he asked first. But the problem is that he never asks.”

The concern about the image of Thai women led all Thai woman informants to avoid speaking out about money, including the remittance issue. The remittance issue was an unspoken topic for all Thai wife informants during their relationship before marriage, and they were unaware that it would be the cause of serious conflict in their relationship later. In contrast, the German husbands who I interviewed firmly admitted that they knew about the remittance issue before they decided to be with Thai woman. They clearly explained that they had studied aspects of having a relationship with and marrying Thai women via multiple sources, such as website articles, personal blogs, and importantly from friends who had married Thai women. They did this to explore the differences and possible conflicts that they may need to face when they are in a relationship with a Thai woman. And they found that the remittance issue was one of those conflicts which they needed to bear in mind.

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Lilly’s husband Luka said that he knew about the remittance behavior of Thai women before he met Lilly. After he found out that Thai women often demand remittances from a foreign husband, he researched the reason for remittance among Thai women and asked his friends who had married Thai women about the remittance behavior of Thai wives. “I know Thai women send money home. I knew this information before I was with Lilly. I read many blogs of European men who married Thai women. Many of my friends also warned me about it. It is about the economy. Thailand is a poor country compared with Germany. Thai women who come from poor families need to send money. They cannot find a job here, so they ask their husband to do it. Lilly also gives money to her family. I understand. She comes from a poor family and her family thinks that she has married a rich foreign man. Their demand goes high. This is what everyone warned me about before marrying a Thai woman. It is all about money.”

Luka’s perspective about remittances was similar to that of Oliver, Orchid’s husband. Oliver and Orchid had been married and living together for nearly 30 years by the time of the interview. He shared his perspective and experience towards remittances: “I knew that Thai women send money to their family when they marry a foreigner. I knew it from my people who marry Thai women. I knew that if you marry a Thai woman, you need to prepare money to marry and send her family money every month after marriage.”

The picture of poor Thai wife migrants who remit to the natal family is reinforced by many sources, as confirmed by both Luka and Oliver. They mentioned that none pointed out anything other than an economic cause of remittances. As both of their Thai wives were from families with a low financial status, it confirmed their belief that remittances are simply a financial resource for their wife’s family. Although the German husbands acknowledged that they knew about the remittance issue before, they didn’t realize that it would be an unsolvable problem in their marriage relationship. Luka explained that he thought Lilly would stop supporting her family after Lilly married and moved to Germany. “I did not talk to her before because I thought she would stop supporting them after marriage. I never thought she would insist on supporting them like this. She never mentioned it before we got married. I thought it was common sense. She has a new family now. She cannot support her family for all of her life. Her mother needs to learn how to live by herself now.”

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Interestingly, none of the informants, neither the Thai wives nor their German husbands, took the remittance issue seriously before marriage. They all believed it was not an important topic to discuss during their relationship and thought that it could be easily negotiated and solved based on their own perspectives and expectations.

6.2.2

Remittance Requirement: Doubtfulness of Love, Acceptability, and Marriage Purpose

As demonstrated by the results of this study, the remittances issue has evidently been a problem in the relationship of Thai-German couples when Thai women decided to request remittances from their German partners. Most Thai woman informants decided to ask for the remittances before they married and moved to Germany, while some only required the remittance after they arrived in Germany. All Thai wife informants revealed that they needed to require the remittances from their spouse because they would have insufficient money to remit after moving to Germany. All informants planned to find a job after settlement in Germany, but only a few of them succeeded after negotiating the visa bureaucracy and studying the German language. However, while they all had to be financially dependent on their husband when they arrived, they still wanted to ensure that they could remit to their parents after moving to Germany. The remittance requirement of Thai wives has led to a series of arguments and discussions between spouses, based on the findings of this study. The arguments reveal completely different perspectives and expectations towards the remittances of husbands and wives. Both husbands and wives began to actualize the meaning of remittances for each other and expressed their bottom-lines regarding remittance, which were in total contrast. It is very difficult to negotiate or compromise when it comes to the remittance issue among spouses when neither side will decrease their expectation. This study explored how the effects of this conflict can be severe for the couples’ marriage relationships. It can generate a feeling of insecurity in the relationship and doubts about the marriage purpose among Thai-German spouses, which in turn affects the structure of their marriage relationship. From the Thai wife informants’ perspective, remittances are a priority for their parents. They valued remitting as part of a cultural and religious practice rather than its monetary aspects. They fully expected their German partners to know about and accept their remitting intention. For them, remittances are a proof of love and respect that they expected from their husbands. Most Thai wives in this

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study were aware of the cultural differences in their marriage relationship. They did not expect their husbands to understand the reasons for remittance in terms of culture or religion, but they wanted their husbands to accept their decision and fulfill their obligation even without the cultural recognition. Lotus recalled the first argument she had about remittances with Rome. She was extremely disappointed and angry at him. Lotus almost cancelled the marriage because of his rejection. Thus, Rome needed to accept sending remittances to Lotus’s mother every month. “It is impossible for foreigners to understand our gratitude culture and the reciprocation of the ‘Bun-Khun’ of our parents. They will never understand. I think even if we explain about Thai family characteristics and relationships, they will not understand either. For Rome, I believe he understands that, as he had a Thai ex-wife before, but he just disagrees with it. Remittance for him is just about money, that I take advantage of him. He claims that it is because of his Thai ex-wife. He didn’t want to keep paying for a Thai wife’s family again. So, I said ‘Then, don’t have a Thai wife again’. I refused to marry him. I don’t care what he feels or thinks because he doesn’t care about my feelings.” Interview Question: ‘Do you expect him to understand remittance?’ “The point is not about understanding. I don’t care whether he understands or not. I only care whether he accepts it or not. I care whether he loves my family or not. I care that he can accept ‘who I am’ and respect me and my mother or not.”

Meanwhile, in the case of Jasmine, she was not surprised that Jo rejected sending remittances. She knew that Jo would never send money to support her family. She easily accepted Jo’s refusal. However, Jo’s remittance rejection affected their marriage relationship. “It does not surprise me. I knew that Jo would not do it. He doesn’t love my family. My family is not his family. There is no reason for him to send money to them. I don’t expect much from him. I know how he likes it.” Interview Question: ‘How did you feel about this?’ “Uhm…I think it’s good like this. He doesn’t care about my family. I don’t need to care about him. He doesn’t love or care about me that much. So, I don’t need to care about him. Now, I only focus on my family and myself.”

Lotus and Jasmine’s stories were similar to those of other Thai wives in this study. They strongly connected remittance with family affairs based on cultural and emotional aspects. For them, remittances were closely tied to meaningful

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sentiments regarding their parents. Their parents were their priority and remittances are a symbol of their cultural and emotional love to their parents. Many informants mentioned the exact same slogan in connection with their remittance expectation: ‘Love me, Love my family’. For them, the remittance was not a financial support that they expected from their German partner, but it was circuitously a proof of love and acceptance that they strongly expected to receive from their husband. Accepting to remit was simply a proof that the husband loved and cared about them and respected their parents. In contrast, refusal of remittance created such an awful disappointment among Thai wives because they took it to mean that their husband didn’t accept their family and refused to fulfill their obligation. Rose’s statement vividly presents the feelings and perspectives on remittance expectations of Thai wives in this study. “I want to marry someone who loves my parents as much as he loves me. You know ‘love me, love my family’? I used to tell Ryan this slogan. But it is clear that he ignores it. If I had married a Thai man and lived in Thailand, I would not have had to face this problem. Now, I live far away from home and there is nothing I can do for my parents but send money. It is so sad that my husband doesn’t understand me. He doesn’t accept me and my culture. He doesn’t care about my feelings, my parents’ feelings, and my relationship with my family in Thailand. I begin to feel insecure about his love. I begin to wonder why he married me. And why he wanted me to move here.”

The meaning of remittances among Thai wife informants was quite complex, with multiple connotations, and engaged with many emotions. All informants not only explained the importance of remittance in terms of its economic aspect but also in relation to emotional attachments. Beyond the engagement with the family relationship, the remittances were also strongly connected with their identity as well. By this, I mean remittances were a part of ‘who they are’. Many informants mentioned the remittances as being tied to their identity. They described remitting as a part of who they were and expected their German partner to accept it. In this sense, most of the Thai wife informants felt rejected by their husband when he refused to remit. Daisy once mentioned that she decided to dedicate her love to her daughters and parents rather than her husband, Danny. She believed Danny did not love her because he didn’t accept who she was. “I decided to focus on my daughters and parents, not my husband. He doesn’t love me the way I am. He married me because he wants me to be his housewife. He didn’t marry me because he loves me.” Interview Question: ‘How can he prove that he loves you?’

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“It’s very simple. He has to love my family. He knows how much I love them. He knows but he does nothing about it. He never offers anything. He just lives his life and he is happy that I am a good housewife. He disagrees with sending remittances. I don’t mind that he doesn’t help me with this but he asked me to stop. It is too much. It is proof that he doesn’t care about my family at all. It’s like he never knew me.”

Meanwhile, according to the interviews, the German men did not understand the meaning of remittances as a way of expressing cultural and emotional attachment. They simply perceived the remittances as financial support for Thai women’s families. The German husbands tended to economize in everything, and they found the remittances to be an additional expense that is nonsensical to commit to. Rose explained that Ryan ignored her reasons for sending remittances. He strongly believed that the remittance was about money and that Rose’s parents requested it from her. This was the reason why Ryan disagreed with remittances and never let Rose send any money to her parents. “He just believes that remittances are about money. He thinks that my parents requested it from me. He never listens to me. I have explained this to him many times, but he was often mad at me and never listened. I feel like he only wants me to adapt to his culture and family while he changes nothing.”

It was difficult for the German husbands to understand remittance from a cultural perspective. According to Oliver, Orchid used to explain the reason for remittance in terms of the gratitude culture and Buddhism, but he still believed that remittances were only a means of financial support. Oliver believed that Orchid sent money to her family because she wanted her family to live in better conditions, and that it was not related to Thai culture or religion. “I think it is about money. It is just because her family cannot earn enough for a living, so she needs to help them. But I don’t think it is a good idea. They get used to it. I understand that they are poor, but money is not a solution.” Interview Question: ‘Does Orchid relate her reason to other aspects?’ “She did. She told me about Thai culture. Something about parents, about Buddhism. I don’t think so. I think it is just a technique of parents to get money from their children. She gives money to her family because they are poor and too lazy to work. I just want her to stop it and stay at home, relax with our family.”

The German husbands not only denied remittance for the natal family of their Thai wives but also questioned their purpose of marriage as well. The interviews

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with German husbands in this study indicate that they started to think that their Thai wives may have wanted to marry them because of money. Luka complained that he provided a lot of money for Lilly and her family before they married. He did not plan to provide financial support to Lilly’s family after marriage. He felt very disappointed when Lilly requested him to send money to her mother after they had married and she had moved to live with him. He frankly admitted that he sometimes wonders why Lilly accepted to marry him. “It’s not like I’m greedy. I gave a lot of money to her and her family when she was in Thailand. I just don’t think I have to give money to her family all of my life. I think it is not fair to me. I am the only one who has to work but her family just does nothing and spends my money. You know what? Sometimes, I start to wonder why she married me.”

It was not only Luka who had doubts about his Thai wife’s purpose in marrying him after she requested the remittances. Many Thai wife informants revealed that their husbands also directly questioned them about their reasons for marriage. Tulip disclosed that Tony had strongly refused to send remittances to her family in their first year of marriage. He started to question Tulip about why she had married him and moved to Germany. Tulip admitted that Tony often said that she might have married him to have a good life in Germany. He also blamed Tulip’s parents for the remittances. He believed that Tulip’s parents requested them. “We fought a lot about remittances in the first year of our marriage. He never listened to my reasons. He blamed my parents for my remittance request. He only asked why I married him. He asked whether I married him because of money. It was so hurtful. Even now he is fine with the remittances, but I still cannot truly trust him.”

Clearly, the response of Thai wife informants toward remittance was associated with relationship security and proof of love. The husband’s rejection of remitting was taken as a proof of his lack of love and respect for his wife and her parents. Therefore, love and remittances were indispensable for the Thai wife informants. In contrast, the remittance requirement of Thai wives led the husbands to suspect their wife’s reason for marriage. In the transnational context, cultural differences and lack of communication has created this misunderstanding between couples.

6.2 Part 2: Thai Wife Migrants and their Marriage Relationships

6.2.3

151

Remittances Shaping Marriage Relationship Patterns

Upon their arrival in Germany, Thai marriage migrants were completely dependent on their German husbands financially. Many Thai wife informants expected to find a job after they came to Germany, but it was too difficult for them due to the language barrier. They needed to learn the German language and had to go through bureaucratic processes to obtain marriage stay permission before they were able to apply for a job. Few Thai wife informants were able to find a job after settling in Germany after one year. Furthermore, many Thai migrant informants become housewives with no income. In the beginning of their settlement period in Germany, all Thai woman participants were completely financially dependent on their husband. They needed to ask their husband for everything, for example, new clothes, personal hygiene items, food, or even simply money for transportation or a cup of coffee. Interestingly, most informants did not find this to be a particular problem. All of them were solely concerned about remitting. Concerning the remittance requirement, many Thai wife informants succeeded to negotiate with their husband and were able to send remittances to their parents using their husband’s income. Yet, some of them failed and were unable to perform their child’s duty to their parents because of disapproval from their husband. However, none of the informants were satisfied about the solution. For those who could remit, they were unsatisfied with the amount of remittance that their husband agreed to provide. Moreover, these informants repeatedly had arguments about remittance with their husband nearly every month because their husbands attempted to stop remitting. Meanwhile, for those who failed to remit, they reset their migration goal from marriage to focus on remitting. From the marriage stories of all informants, it is evident that the issue of remittances shaped their marriage relationship patterns. The Thai migrants in this study set their life plans and living strategies towards the goal of remittances. Their plans could change and adapt in response to their husband. The adaptation process of Thai migrants created meaningful exchanges between spouses and gradually turned into a new marriage relationship pattern.

1. Remittances as an Economic Exchange After settling down in Germany, all Thai woman interviewees began to realize the discrepancies between their expectations and the realities of their marriage migration. All Thai woman informants pursued migration for a happy marriage family. However, the disappointment of their husband’s remittance rejection activated the realities of multicultural relationships. They gradually created plans and

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strategies, deciding what to exchange or trade with their husbands and parents in terms of remittances. Many Thai wife informants decided to do what their husband expected. They became docile housewives in exchange for remitting. The first year of Tulip’s marriage mostly involved fighting about money, especially remitting. Tulip required remitting expenses for her parents and personal expenses for herself from Tony, but he didn’t approve. He opposed the idea of both. He thought it was unnecessary. For remittance, he believed that he should only be responsible for caring for and feeding his wife, but not her family, and for the idea of personal expenses, he thought Tulip demanded too much, whereas she could not earn money. The fighting period lasted for nearly a year. Then, Tulip decided to change her strategies and life plans in response to Tony with the purpose of being able to send remittances to her parents. She accepted to be a full-time housewife according to Tony’s wishes. She accepted to live without personal expenses. She agreed not to look for a job to earn money. She changed her strategy of negotiation about remitting with Tony. Tulip used the fact that her parents had provided land and property for them in Thailand because Tony wanted to live in Thailand after retirement. She claimed that it was unfair to her parents for Tony to get this land without paying anything. Finally, Tony accepted to send remittances to Tulip’s parents every month. “It was a very difficult period. We fought nearly every day after I arrived here. Tony is too economized. He only thinks about what he needs to pay. He began to say that he needs to pay more because of me. He expected me to do many things for him without asking me before. He refused to remit or give me monthly expenses. He said it was not necessary. I cried every night during that period. It lasted for months, nearly a year. I was so sick and bored of the fights, but Tony seemed to become energized to argue about it. In the end, I needed to find another way to negotiate with him. I had to do as he wanted in exchange for what I want. Even though, I felt I lost so much for it. However, I am happy that I can express my gratitude to my parents.”

Tulip’s situation was similar to many Thai woman informants in this study. In the focus group interview, many members discussed trading with their husbands as well. They accepted that they had no choice but to become a Thai woman according to their husband’s belief, in exchange for remitting. Interviewee A: “It is not only us who want something from them. They also want something from us. They want us to behave like Thai women in their minds. They want a housewife. They want a sweet Thai wife.”

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Interviewee B: “It is such a cliché. To get what we want, we need to be what they want. I accepted to be his housewife. I needed to learn how to cook, clean, garden, all the things I never did before, so that he accepted to send money to my parents.” Interviewee A: “Same here. Maybe not for you?” Interviewee C: “(laugh) Me too. Look at me. I am here with you, not working. My husband also wants me to stay home as well. He sends money to my parents without complaining but he asked me to not work anymore.”

Interestingly, the informants who applied these types of plans and strategies were mostly the women who had a good background; well-educated, had a decent career in Thailand, and were able to communicate with their German husbands. The interview data indicates that the first plan of these informants was to find a proper job in Germany. They planned to learn the German language and build up their career paths again in Germany. However, they ended up becoming housewives for their husbands in exchange for remittances. Many of them were forced to change their life plans because it seemed impossible to pursue their career goals in their new country without their husbands’ support. Regarding their backgrounds, many never did any housework while in Thailand, but they had to learn to clean, to cook, to garden, and even to take care of their own children. Rose gave up her career goal to become a housewife according to Ryan’s expectations. Her husband Ryan never agreed to send money for her parents, but he provided monthly expenses to Rose for groceries and her personal needs. Rose used this money to secretly send remittances to her parents. She never succeeded in finding a full-time job because Ryan strongly disagreed with it. Rose revealed that Ryan often took her for a trip or visited his parents without planning when she got a part-time job. In the end, Rose could not work according to this schedule, so she needed to leave her job. She believed he did it on purpose because it always happened when she worked. Rose finally accepted to be at home and took care of her family. She admitted that she was disappointed and sad to give up her career goals, but she was satisfied to fulfill her child’s duty to her parents by sending remittance regularly. “I have to confess that this is not the life that I want. I want to work, to earn money. I want to have fun with friends. I want to be independent. But I have no choice here. It is impossible to work if your husband disagrees with you. Germany is not like Thailand. Everything is difficult for migrants. I don’t know how to start. I can’t ask my husband to help. I got several part-time jobs before by asking Thai people here. Ryan turned it down. He always disturbed my work by taking me on an unplanned trip or suddenly visiting his parents. I could not follow the work schedule and I had to quit in the end. I have no choice but to be a housewife. It is not bad. He gives a monthly expense to

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me for groceries and my personal stuff. I used this money to send to my parents every month. Even though it is such a small amount compared to what I used to send, it is better than nothing. I am not really satisfied with my life, but I can remit to parents at least.”

Although many Thai migrant informants succeeded in remitting to their parents by exchanging strategies, they were not happy with their status in their marriage relationship. Many of them had good backgrounds in their own society in Thailand, they expected to be successful and build up their own careers based on their education and social status. However, compromising for remittance meant that they had to give up their career goals. Besides learning all the domestic work, a side effect of being a housewife without an independent income was that they were less empowered in their relationship. They had less power in negotiating, and decision-making. In many cases, they were aware of the changes and noticed their fall of status and empowerment in the marriage relationship. They felt insecure being in a relationship controlled by their spouse through financial power. They did not feel that they truly belonged to this relationship. They lost faith in their marriage life and decided to concentrate more on their natal family. Rose once said: “Honestly, what do I own in this marriage? I am living in his house. I am pregnant with his child. I eat food from his money. Here is his country. And now, because I remit to my parents with his money, he owns my soul. My body lives well here but not my heart. I miss my parents. I only think about my parents. I must be here because it is my family, even though I don’t feel like I belong here.”

Furthermore, many informants who were housewives became isolated from society. They lived in their own private sphere and had limited people in their life circle. Their level of dependency on their husbands gradually increased. Many of them did not know how to use transportation. They needed to rely on their husbands when they needed to go somewhere. Lilly was in the minority of this group, because she had a different background than the other informants who used this strategy. She came from a very poor family. At the time of the interview, she was a housewife according to her husband’s wishes. Lilly relied on Luka for everything. She mostly stayed at home. She only went out with Luka. She did not have friends in Germany because Luka did not like her to make friends with Thai people. Lilly accepted Luka’s conditions because he provided remittance for her family. I visited her several times during the data collection. Lilly often picked me up at the train station next to her house, but she often got lost in her neighborhood because she was never outside alone.

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I usually took her to her house by using the navigation application on my mobile phone. “You are so smart. I never know how to use the train, bus, or go around here. I only go out with Luka.” Interview Question: ‘Why is it like that?’ “I have many things to do at home. I want to go out sometimes, but I don’t know where to go and who to go with. I only know Luka and now you.” Interview Question: ‘And you are okay?’ “(long pause) … I don’t like it, but I don’t know anything here. Luka never thinks of me. I think he prefers it in this way. Frankly, I feel so lonely here. I want to work so I will have friends, but Luka does not allow it. He will not send money to my mother if I work. So, I cannot take risks.”

Meanwhile, participants in the focus group interview also discussed the isolation situation as well. Interviewee A: “I am only happy when I am in Thailand. I only stay at home here. I cannot go anywhere without my husband. I don’t know how to use the transportation (laugh).” Interviewee B: “Me too. I always wonder how it works. My husband never teaches me.” Interviewee C: “I am so sick of always waiting for my husband to do things for me, to send me somewhere, to buy stuff. You will not understand what it is like to live like this.” Interview Question: ‘What is it like?’ Interviewee A: “Better not to understand. Believe me, you don’t need this life. It’s like you are cut out from society. Your world is only your family. You don’t have legs and arms to do and go as you want. You need to depend on your husband.” Interview Question: ‘Why are you staying then?’ Interviewee A: “Because it became my life. It is not bad. I live well, my parents get money every month, my children have a good future. It is the reality when you marry a foreign man.”

Among many Thai participants, the exchange negotiation became an actual relationship pattern and gradually transformed into their marriage life. They slowly accepted this relationship pattern even though they noticed that it limited their

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opportunities in life. Many informants realized the disadvantages of this relationship. Some even recognized the negative effects in terms of their feelings and identities. However, they decided to get along with it as long as they could maintain their marriage relationship and keep remitting to their parents. They similarly believed that this was a reality of marrying a foreign man that they had to bear.

2. Devoting Life to Remitting For Thai wife informants who came from families with a low financial status, remittances were one of their purposes of migration. Although they migrated for marriage reasons, they also needed to provide financial support to their natal family. Thai wife informants from inferior backgrounds often failed to request the remittances from their German husbands due to a lack of communication skills and the language barrier. Being aware of the perception of Thai women, and because of the language barrier, Thai wives from poor families mostly did not insist on their remittance requirement after it was rejected by their husbands. In fact, they easily accepted it and decided to negotiate and compromise with their parents instead. Many informants revealed that they negotiated with their parents to delay the remittances and promised to remit when they got a job. Then, they solely focused on finding a job to be able send remittances. Interestingly, many Thai wife interviewees who were from poor families, lowly educated, and who did not have a decent career while living in Thailand, handled the remittance problem differently than those who had better backgrounds. They had less expectation about remitting from their husbands, even though they admitted that they were disappointed at them. They decided to develop themselves and enhance their status as workers. Daisy was from a poor family background. She worked as a bargirl when she met Danny, her husband. She married a Thai man and had two daughters before she met Danny. After moving to Germany, she needed to send money to her two daughters and parents. However, Danny never agreed to it, and neither did his parents. Daisy admitted that she was disappointed at him, but she decided not to request anything from Danny since then. She changed her focus from her marriage relationship to enhancing her skills to be able to search for a fulltime job. She fully paid attention to learning the German language to achieve the proper level and to learn how to drive to get a driving license. After a year, she attained level A1 in German and obtained a driving license, as she expected. Then, she actively applied for several jobs. She got a full-time gardener job in her village. After that, Daisy sent nearly all her salary to her daughters and parents while she spent the rest of the money on her personal things.

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“Sending remittance is a big problem because he never understands our culture. He often asks me why I need to remit. He said I don’t live with my parents anymore, I am living with him, why do I need to give my parents money, I should help him rather than my parents. I explained to him many times why I remit. I told him that my parents raised me. They are old now. They cannot work like before. If I don’t send money, I can’t do anything for them because I don’t live in Thailand. I cannot cook for them, clean for them, or go anywhere with them. I am here. He still does not understand. I believe he understands but he just does not want to send money for me. So, I stopped talking about sending money with him. I decided to search for a job. Since I got this job, I spend most of my time on my work.”

In the focus group interview, Thai wife participants from poor families in the group also shared the same strategies for handling the remittance problem with their husbands. Interviewee A: “Nothing I can do. If he doesn’t want to give money, it is his choice. It is his money. I just need to earn by myself.” Interviewee B (Thai wife who has a good background): “Why didn’t you keep asking him? It is our right to request it. We lose so many things. This is what we deserve.” Interviewee A: “No, you don’t understand. You are smart. You know how to talk, how to speak. I don’t know. I was a bargirl. My words are not valuable like yours. I can’t spend my time begging him for money.” Interviewee B: “Right. And it is not worth negotiating. Even if he agrees to remit, it does not mean he will do it forever. If he stops, we will need to do it anyway.” Interviewee C: “You are lucky. You have a good husband. I also want a good husband who will take care of me. But I need to accept the reality. I now focus only on earning money to support my family, not my marriage life.”

Concerning the marriage relationship patterns of those Thai wives who decided to be financially independent, they were less obedient to their husbands than those who had become full-time housewives without income. They were free to remit anytime and in whatever amount at their disposal. They extended social relationships in the new community. They developed their language skills through working and living with people other than their husbands. However, they still needed to perform housewife duties for their husbands, even though they had a full-time job. The housework seemed to be inescapable for Thai migrant women in this study. They all encountered the same problems regarding their husbands’ expectation towards their performance in the marriage relationship. The husbands clearly expected their wives to take responsibility for all of the housework. None

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of the husbands agreed to let their wives have a job, even a part-time job. Therefore, the women interviewees who had a job also needed to do the domestic work as well. They similarly admitted that they accepted to do all the housework because they wanted to avoid fights with their husbands and because they needed to maintain their visa status in Germany. Daisy once explained that she was responsible for the entire house. She accepted to do the housework to avoid fights with Danny. She was also concerned about maintaining her visa in Germany because her wages were much better in Germany than in Thailand. “Before, we often fought about remittance almost every day, then we argued about it every month since I started to work and remit with my money, because he still does not want me to send money, even though I told him that this is my money. After remitting, we fought about the housework. He wants me to be a perfect housewife. In the beginning, I was so tired because of my work. I had no energy to cook, clean, or prepare clothes for him. He was very mad at me. I have no choice but to do it. Now, he does not complain about the housework but still asks me to stop sending money. Honestly, I am sick of hearing it. I insist to him that it is my choice because it is my money. Our arguments always end up like this. I doubt he has anything to say because it is not his money.”

As we can see in Daisy’s story, being financially independent does not guarantee that the issue of remittances will be solved. Danny still attempted to stop Daisy from sending money home. Likewise, Orchid accepted to be a full-time housewife for many years according to Oliver’s wishes. However, she never felt happy about remittances. She remitted in secret for all those years, but she knew it was insufficient for her family because she took care of everyone in her family. After her son went to school, Orchid started to work a full-time job as a cleaner in the kindergarten near her house so that she could be free of her financial limitations and be able to send as much money as she wants. After Orchid started her work, she revealed that she fought with Oliver nearly every day because he wanted her to stay at home and take care of the family rather than earn and send money to her natal family. At the time of the interview, they were still fighting about remitting. Oliver kept trying to convince Orchid to stop remitting. “My husband is always curious about my money. He knew how much I earned, both from a full-time job and part-time jobs. But I never had any savings. I spent too much money on remittance. He complained about it. He often started a fight about it. We fight about remitting all the time. He is trying so hard to make me stop sending money to my family. But he cannot do anything about it. He knows it is my money and I have the right to do it. Sometimes, I am mad at him. I do everything he asks: cooking, cleaning,

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taking care of his family, so many things, but he still asks me to stop working and remitting. He doesn’t love my family, but he dares to ask me to abandon them.”

Although Thai wives who were financially independent needed to do domestic work, as their husbands requested, like those who accepted to be a full-time housewife, there was a difference in these women, in that they were empowered to firmly stand by their choices, as they knew their rights over their money. They had authority over their earnings and their husband respected their decision, even if they disagreed with it. Furthermore, they felt much more connected to the new society, and had adapted themselves to it by extending their social connections using their survival skills.

3. Remittances are an Investment for German Husbands Nearly all Thai wife informants firmly accepted that their German husbands planned to permanently move to Thailand after their retirement. Many of them confirmed that their husbands had planned their retirement in Thailand before they were together. After marriage, many husbands began to discuss their settlement plans in Thailand. They wanted their Thai wives to start searching for accommodation and to make business plans in Thailand. They had been saving money for their retirement migration. The remittance requirement of Thai wives disturbed their settlement plans in terms of finances. Many Thai wife informants admitted that their husbands preferred to save money for moving to Thailand after retirement rather than send it to their wife’s parents. Many Thai wives in this study thought that this may be the reason why their husbands convinced them to stop sending remittances. However, not all the participants were frustrated with their husband’s refusal to remit. There were some Thai wife informants who disclosed that their husbands gradually accepted to send remittances to their parents after some years, due to their husband’s growing trust in their natal family in terms of finances. None of the German husbands in this study agreed with their wives’ remitting. Most husbands tended to believe that their wives were sending remittances because the parents required the money. However, some reported a positive change in their husband’s perspective and behaviors towards remitting after some years. Tulip traveled to Thailand with her husband regularly. They had been visiting Tulip’s parents around 2–4 times a year. During their trips in Thailand, Tulip’s parents took care of them financially. Tony did not pay for anything. Moreover, Tulip’s parents also provided a property for them in Thailand and expected them to live there after Tony’s retirement. Tony slowly realized that Tulip’s parents did not intend to take advantage of him in terms of money and

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that they never required remittance from him. Therefore, he offered to increase the amount of remittance, but Tulip denied the offer, because she no longer trusted Tony regarding money matters. “Tony started to realize that my parents never wanted his money after we travelled to Thailand several times. He never pays for anything in Thailand because my family takes care of everything. Even when we have a trip in Thailand, my parents arrange it all financially. And my parents provided a house and land for us to live in after his retirement without asking for any money in return. In fact, he offered to increase the amount of remittance for my parents, but I refused it. I am happy that he has changed in a better way, but I don’t trust him anymore when it comes to money.”

Likewise, Lotus also revealed a similar motivation that influenced a positive reaction from Rome towards remitting. For Lotus, Rome was a greedy man. She believed Rome had changed his mind set about remitting because her mother financially supported them during their visit to Thailand. Lotus’s mother provided a property and funds for their settlement in Thailand. Rome gradually realized that Lotus’s family had never taken advantage of him. However, it took three years for Rome to sincerely accept and understand the reason for remittance. He wanted to increase the amount of remittance, but Lotus did not agree. In this sense, Lotus did not trust Rome. She thought Rome might expect more from her family in terms of caring, materials, or even money. “It took him three years to realize that my family wanted nothing from him. I am happy that he finally noticed it. But I don’t trust him. He finally stopped complaining about remitting because he knew he received more than what he pays. My mother has provided land, a house, and funds for us because she knew that we would move to Thailand after his retirement. He was very happy to get it. He never pays anything while we visit Thailand. My family pays everything for us. He looks happy not to spend any money. After three years, he began to realize that he should increase the amount of remitting. I think it is too late. I need to accept that I have married a greedy man. I think that remittance is just his investment.”

Based on the informants’ stories, the German husbands’ main motivation for remitting is to provide economic compensation for what they received from their wife’s parents. Thai wives who had witnessed a positive transformation in their husbands’ attitudes toward remitting honestly believed that their husbands had only accepted to remit because of the benefits taken from their parents. They explained that their husbands never understood the concept of a gratitude culture and neglected to fulfill their obligations. Therefore, they were convinced that their husbands were only concerned about the advantages that they would get in return

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from their parents. In this sense, their husbands’ acceptance of remittance created a feeling of insecurity among these Thai wives. Although they were happy that their husbands had finally accepted to remit and respect their parents, they were unable to fully trust their husbands when it came to financial matters. Lotus explained the reason why she could not trust Rome regarding money issues. She began to observe Rome’s behavior towards his expenditure after he offered to increase the amount of remittance. She found that Rome tended to take advantage of her family, which she could not accept. “I started to feel strange when Rome offered to increase the amount of remittance for my mother. I know he does not understand the concept of gratitude. It is alright for me because this is who he is. But I think it is weird that he started to be too nice. I began to observe him when we visited Thailand. Then, I realized that he enjoyed not spending any money. My family, especially my mother, takes care of us very well. They are very enthusiastic to pay for us. Seriously, I mean every time and for everything! And when it happened, my husband was just there, did nothing and let them pay every time. He never offered to pay for anything in return. He looked happy. When I told him that he had to offer sometimes, we could not let them pay for us every time, he did not understand. I told him that it was not good behavior and we needed to return their favor sometimes. He still did not understand. This is what I can’t accept. In the end, I used my money. He just let me do it without offering. I think this is who he really is. All these things make me feel bad about him. I don’t think I can trust him.”

In the focus group interview, the topic of husbands accepting to remit because of benefits from the wife’s parents was also discussed among those participants from rich families. Interviewee A: “It is impossible for a foreigner to understand our gratitude culture and reciprocating ‘Bun-Khun’ of parents. They will never understand. My husband accepted to send money because my parents offered so many things for us, a house, gardens, land, many things. I wonder who married for money now. (laughs)” Interviewee B: “(laughs) We are living in Germany like a poor woman, but we are rich in Thailand. I think they easily accept it when they see the profit of it. But it makes me sad. He treats me like his maid in the house, but he expects things from my parents.” Interview Question: ‘Don’t you think he has his reason other than gaining benefits?’ Interviewee A: “I never ask but I am sure it is about the benefits. He will never accept it if he does not get anything in return. In fact, I have been thinking that he married me because he wants to live in Thailand. He married me because it would be easy for him to settle in Thailand later.” Interviewee C: “I also think about it. My husband became financially generous to me after he learned that my parents had provided a house to me. He started to talk about

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how to decorate the house in Thailand and when we can move. I don’t want to talk to him about this. If he admits it, I will feel even worse.”

The topic of accepting remittance is never discussed among these couples. Thai wives who noticed a change in their husband’s attitude preferred not to discuss it with them or with their natal family. Some interviewees frankly accepted that it was too hurtful to ask their husbands and were afraid to hear the answer. As they did not conceive of remittance simply as a money object, particularly those who did not need to provide financial support to their family, they would be truly disappointed if their husbands perceived it in that way, especially as a way of gaining benefits from their parents. Tulip once released her feeling towards this situation: “I feel bad. It is very hurtful to see my husband take advantage of my parents. I never ask him, and I don’t want to talk about it. It is too shameful. He thought I married him because of money when I asked him to remit. Now, he wants to remit because he got benefits out of it. He thought my parents sold me to him, and my parents asked me to send them money. Now, he wants something from my parents by acting nice and sending remittance. I think about divorce sometimes, but I don’t want to make my parents feel sad. It’s like I am in the middle of the troubles and cannot turn back.” Tulip’s quote above is representative of the feelings of the rest of the informants.

7

Remittance and Relationship With Parents-in-Law

Although the purpose of this study is to examine the reasons for remitting and the effects of remittance on the family relationships among Thai migrant wives, the empirical findings revealed that remittance had a significant impact on the relationships of both Thai wives and German husbands with their parents-inlaw. Accordingly, the Thai-German couples in this study did not have a good relationship with their parents-in-law. Remittance seemed to be the influencing factor that contributed to the negative perspectives of parents-in-law towards their son or daughter’s spouses. All Thai wives in this study experienced unpleasant hospitality from their husband’s parents when they settled with their German family because of the pre-held image of Thai women and their remitting behaviors. Meanwhile, the German husbands were not welcomed into their Thai wives’ families because of remittance issues as well. Parents-in-law from both sides had an expectation for the Thai-German couples based on their cultural perspectives and beliefs towards remittance, which possibly influenced and manipulated their relationship with their son- or daughter-in-law in an unpleasant way. This chapter aims to demonstrate the effect of remittance on the relationship between Thai-German marriage spouses and their parents-in-law. I explain separately the relationship patterns and conflicts of both Thai wives and German husbands with their parents-in-law in order to provide a clearer picture. Further, this chapter recounts the strategies that Thai wives and German husbands utilized to solve the relationship conflict with their parents-in-law.

© The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Fachmedien Wiesbaden GmbH, part of Springer Nature 2023 K. Haklin, Remittance of Thai Female Marriage Migrants in Germany, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-658-41686-7_7

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7.1

Thai Migrant Wives and Relationship with German Parents-in-Law

7.1.1

Importance of Parents-in-Law

Parents-in-law were rarely considered as one of the marriage factors among the Thai women in this study. They similarly revealed that they were concerned only about their husbands in terms of financial and emotional reliabilities when they decided to get married and migrate to Germany. There were a few participants that had a chance to meet their husband’s family before getting married, but the majority of them had never met their husband’s family at all before they moved to Germany. However, none of the Thai wives in this study knew their husband’s family background. By this I mean, they were not fully informed about their husband’s family financial status, cultures, traditions, way of living, perspectives, personalities and so on. In contrast, all Thai participants shared that their husbands knew their family background in nearly every aspect by visiting and spending time together. All Thai wives in this study admitted that they never thought this element would have any impact on their life in Germany. Rose was one of the participants who had never met her husband’s family before moving to Germany. She never thought that the factor of family-in-law would have an effect on her marriage life in Germany. She thought that European families were small, unlike Thai families, which had a strong bond among family members and relatives. She also believed that European adults had more freedom to build up their own marriage family without parental suggestions. Besides, Ryan had never mentioned his family to Rose before. “I never asked Ryan about his family, parents, siblings, or relatives before. I have to admit that I did not care about his family background. I don’t care about his family financial status. I only care about him. I never met his parents or anyone in his family before I moved here. I thought my marriage life would only depend on my husband and not be related to his family. For me, marrying a foreigner is a guarantee that I would not have to experience the problem of daughter and mother-in-law because European adults have more freedom in their life decisions, unlike Thai people. I was wrong. It’s nothing like I imagined. We needed to live in his parent’s house when we arrived in Germany. I learned this after I arrived. It was not a pleasant time for me. I ended up spending most of my time with his parents because he had to work. His parents obviously do not like me. I guess it is because I am Thai. I had a very hard time while I lived there.”

Rose’s experience was similar to that of other Thai wives in this study. They all realized the importance of the relationship with parents-in-law after they arrived

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in Germany. Nearly half of the Thai woman informants had to live in the same house with their husband’s parents when they arrived in Germany and they did not know about this at the beginning. Meanwhile, some of them lived in the same neighborhood as their parents-in-law and needed to visit or invite their husband’s parents very often. For those who lived in different cities to their husband’s parents, they had to accompany them at important family events. Thus, all Thai wife informants began to understand that parents-in-law were part of their married life, which affected their settlement in Germany, as well as their husbands.

7.1.2

Connecting to the New Society

In the context of Thai-German marriage, parents-in-law were another key element that connected all Thai wife informants to the new society and environment in Germany, besides their German husbands. In many cases, parents-in-law were the key people who constructed the living pattern and the perceptions of the new society of Thai wife participants. The majority of Thai women in this study explained that they mostly spent time with their parents-in-law rather than their husbands. They went out with them for groceries, shopping, cafés, restaurants, or visiting neighbors’ houses. They learned to adapt themselves to the new environment and society mostly through their parents-in-law. However, the relationship was not pleasant for them. Many participants noticed that their parents-in-law had not positioned them as a daughter-in-law but more like a caretaker or housekeeper. In the case of Poppy, her husband’s family played an important role in her settlement in Germany. Poppy revealed that Peter lived near the house of his mother and grandmother. Peter mostly relied on them for his daily life, providing food, housework, pet care, and even money. Poppy only learned about his routine and attitude when she had already moved to Germany. She revealed that Peter did not change his living style, in contrast, she needed to adapt herself to his living pattern. Further, Poppy explained that she spent most of her time with Peter’s mother and grandmother rather than with him, from the beginning up to the present. However, she noticed that the relationship between her and Peter’s family members was more like that of a caretaker rather than a family relationship. “I never thought about his family before. I don’t know much about his family because I don’t care. But I know now that it is very important. You know what? I spend most of my time with Peter’s mother and grandmother rather than with my husband. Peter rarely has time for me. He works on weekdays and stays home for the weekend, but he rarely talks to me when he is at home. He never teaches me anything about living in Germany. He does not care about my German class. His mother takes care of me

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instead. I mostly learned the basics of living from his mother. I often went out with his mother to help her carry things. I visit his grandmother nearly every day to help her with the housework and accompany her. It sounds good. It’s like I have a very close relationship with his mother, but it is not like that. I felt like I am a caretaker of his mother and grandmother more than their daughter-in-law. They treated me like a caretaker. They often asked me for help in the house, accompany them when they go out, but never once asked about my life.”

Likewise, Daisy, who lived in the same house with Danny’s parents for one year before moving out, revealed that she was treated like a housekeeper rather than a daughter-in-law by Danny’s parents. Daisy spent nearly all her time with Danny’s parents when she lived there because she didn’t have a job and Danny often worked abroad. She had to do all the housework for them and accompany them when they went out. “The time that I lived in that house was the most unpleasant time in my life. I never knew that Danny lived with his parents. I thought we would live by ourselves like most Europeans. I never felt happy when I lived in that house. His parents are very nice to him but not me. They asked me to do all the housework, garden, and accompany them when they went out. They forced me to learn the German language as fast as possible so that I could understand them better. I feel like they don’t accept me as their daughter-in-law. I feel like they accepted me as their housekeeper or servant. Danny doesn’t help me. He thinks it is not a big deal to take care of his parents and I should do it. Even after we moved out of that house, his mother still requested my help. I have no choice. I think they already set the position for me in this family.”

7.1.3

Authority in Relationship

Among all Thai wife informants, the relationship with their parents-in-law was the relationship that they could not control or negotiate. All of them passively accepted their position and this relationship pattern in their husband’s family was controlled by their parents-in-law without any attempt to negotiate. They were seriously concerned that their marriage relationship could be disrupted if they had a conflict with their parents-in-law, because they believed their husbands had the same attitude towards the importance of parents as them. Thus, they attempted to avoid any conflicts with their parents-in-law by obeying. In addition, it seemed that Thai wife informants applied the Thai traditional seniorjunior hierarchy system to the relationship between them and their husband’s parents. They considered their husband’s parents to be the seniors in the house

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who they needed to respect and obey, which led them to feel less empowered and subordinate in the relationship with their husband’s family. Rose lived with her parents-in-law for one year after she arrived in Germany. She stated that her relationship pattern was determined by her husband’s parents. She often obeyed and accepted every requirement of her parents-in-law. She did not like this kind of relationship where she needed to obey and take care of seniors who were not her parents, even if those seniors were her husband’s parents. However, she believed this was the proper manner in which she had to behave toward every senior, particularly those who played an important role in her life like her parents-in-law. “What I do not like about my life here is my relationship with Ryan’s parents. You may think that I am not a good person if I say this….ummm… I don’t know how other Thai wives treat their parents-in-law, but I behave like they are my parents, it’s not exactly like that but similar in the way of respect and obeyance. I obey, respect, never argue, and take care of them even more than I did my own parents. I do whatever they want. For me, they are my husband’s parents who I need to pay respect to and provide caregiving for. Umm…but I don’t like it. I cannot say that they got used to my obedient behavior. But I feel like they have already set my status in the family. I mean I feel like they positioned me in their life as their caretaker rather than daughter-in-law. They have another son who is married to a German woman, but they never expected or required any help from her. In contrast, they behaved nicely to her as if she was a guest all the time.” Interview Question: ‘Why do you have to obey to them? Can you be yourself with them?’ “They are my husband’s parents. They are seniors in the house. This is what we need to do based on our culture, right? I mean we need to be polite, obey, and respect the senior. It is normal. Even I feel bad with this kind of relationship, but it is what I have to bear because they are my parents-in-law. My mother often taught me that I always need to be nice to my parents-in-law to show my goodness as a Thai daughter to them through the relationship, and I have to behave nicely to them so that they won’t say that my parents failed to raise a daughter.”

Rose’s statement is representative of the perspectives and attitudes among all Thai wives in this study toward proper behavior in their relationship with their parentsin-law, driven by Thai culture and tradition. Their method of coping within their husband’s family relationship was similar. They allowed their parents-in-law to have more authority because they believed in the ideal of a hierarchical relationship pattern based on Thai culture. Further, they believed that their behaviors represented the honor of their own parents in terms of raising and educating them. All Thai wife informants similarly revealed that their parents had taught

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them to behave properly and politely toward parents-in-law so that they would be warmly welcomed into their husband’s family, which brought honor to their parents because they had raised them well. Although none of them appreciated this relationship, they customarily enforced themselves to behave properly based on their beliefs and attitudes. They tended to remain themselves according to Thai culture and tradition, even in a new society.

7.1.4

Reputation of Thai Migrant Wives and Duty Expectation

All Thai wife participants in this study insisted that they did not marry their German husbands for money. However, their husband’s parents seemed to believe that the economic reason was the main factor contributing to their marriage. All Thai wives’ life stories in this study reveal that their social relations with their German families were fragile and unreliable. They demonstrate that their parentsin-law did not behave properly toward them as a daughter-in-law, but more like a caretaker or a housekeeper in some cases. Many supposed that the reason for this could be because their parents-in-law had a certain perception of them as a Thai woman who had married a foreigner for money and moved to Germany to escape poverty and upgrade their living quality. Rose disclosed that her parents-in-law did not welcome her into the family. Indeed, they often suggested that Ryan had bought Rose from her parents according to Thai wedding tradition. They seriously believed that Rose came from poor family and married Ryan to move to Germany to have a better life. Ryan never resolved this misunderstanding of his parents. He believed that there was no use in explaining the truth to them because his parents had such a strong belief in the Thai migrant wife image. “My parents-in-law are not really happy with our marriage. They did not sincerely welcome me into this family. They believed that Ryan bought me from my parents, and I moved here to have a better life. You know, they believed I married Ryan for money. I was always scared of this Thai woman image. I tried so hard to make Ryan not see me in that way, but I never thought about Ryan’s parents before. They never travel or visit other countries besides Germany. So, they only know about their culture and tradition. Ryan also doesn’t help. He said it is hard to change his parents’ perspective. I don’t blame them that they think of me in a negative way. But it is hard for me in terms of living. They believed that I am poor, low-educated, and married for money, so they don’t respect me. They expected me to do all the housework and take care of them so that I can pay off the money that Ryan provided to my parents for the wedding.”

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Interview Question: ‘How did you know that Ryan’s parents think like this?’ “They said it. They said it to me. I don’t need to guess their thoughts because they told me directly. I think they want me to know my place in the family. I feel sad sometimes. They didn’t even know me in person, but they already judged me from the image of Thai women.”

Meanwhile in the case of Daisy, she had to do all the housework and take care of her parents-in-law ever since she arrived in Germany. Daisy often lived with her parents-in-law alone because Danny usually worked abroad. Daisy’s motherin-law strongly disliked Daisy because she was a Thai woman and used to work as a bargirl before. Daisy explained that none of her husband’s family members welcomed her into the family because they knew all about her background and were convinced that she married and lived with Danny for money. “Everyone in my husband’s family believed in the Thai woman image, which entailed that we are poor, lowly educated, and married a foreigner for money. They believed in this image before they met me, and they strongly believe in this image because of me now. My background confirmed the negative image of Thai woman. They are not nice to me. They believed I married and lived with Danny for money. They believed Danny bought me from my family. (long pause). Danny’s mother ordered me to do all the housework. She said that I need to work in the house while her son earns money to support me. I had to do everything when I lived in the same house with them.” Interview Question: ‘What about your husband? Did he do something about this?’ “I rarely told him. I don’t want to make him stressed. I don’t want to be the conflict that ruins his relationship with his mother. I love my mother very much and I think Danny loves his mother as well. So, I don’t think I should have any problems with his mother if I still want to be with him.”

The experiences of Rose and Daisy were similar to the majority of Thai wife participants. It was confirmed by nearly all Thai wife informants that their parents-in-law had a strong perception about them based on the negative Thai woman image. They commonly revealed that they did not receive friendly hospitality from their husband’s family, and that they were enforced to do the duties expected by their parents-in-law. It seemed that the perception of parents-in-law towards Thai migrant wives shaped the relationship pattern of Thai wives and their conjugal family. It also contributed to the expectations that the parentsin-law had regarding the roles and duties of a Thai migrant wife within their husband’s family. Meanwhile, from the perspective of a German husband, Luka believed that this relationship pattern between his Thai wife and his parents was normal. He

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said that his parents had allowed him to marry Lilly because they expected Lilly to take care of him. Luka’s parents believed that Thai women are generally good housewives, in terms of doing housework and caregiving. He explained that his parents also expected caregiving from Lilly sometimes as well, which he conceived as a small thing that Lilly could do for them. Thus, Luka did not think that this relationship characteristic would be a problem for Lilly or for his marriage life. “I think it is normal. Lilly does not work so she has a lot of time. If she can help my parents, it is nice. I think my parents like her. My mother often visits her on weekdays to ask her for a Thai massage and food. These are small things that Lilly can do. This is what I and my parents discussed together before I married Lilly. We all knew what Thai women are like. I mean they are perfect housewives. They are nice, sweet, and good at taking care of people. So, I think it is normal that my parents expected Lilly to help them sometimes. And I think it is not too much to ask from Lilly as she has a lot of free time here.”

Luka’s perspective is in accordance with many Thai wives’ experiences. Thai wives in this study confirmed that their husbands considered that the manner in which the parents-in-law treated them was acceptable. The husbands were not concerned that this relationship pattern would create any negative feelings toward their Thai wives. In fact, the opposite was true, some of the German husbands encouraged their Thai wives to provide caregiving to their parents. Oliver described his perspective towards the relationship between his Thai wife, Orchid, and his parents, explaining that he preferred it this way. He was happy that Orchid took care of his parents just like they were her own parents. He admitted that Orchid complained about this duty sometimes, but he convinced her to continue. Oliver revealed that he married Orchid to be his full-time wife who could take care of him and his parents. This was why he wanted Orchid to quit her job and be with the family. “My parents did not like Orchid before. They believed Thai women are not good. You know…like…a bar girl. They started to like her when she took care of them, cook Thai food, do Thai massage, help them when they go out. Now they want to see Orchid more than me. But she has a lot of work now. She does not have a lot of time like before. My parents are not happy about it. This is why I want her to stop the work. I want her to take care of our family only. My parents also want her to stay at home and have time for them. I want her to be my wife, not a worker.”

From the statements of the German husbands, it seemed like the expectation of Thai wives’ duties were established before marriage. The duty of Thai wives in

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the conjugal family had been recognized and expected in light of Thai women’s perceived reputation rather than their personal needs and agreement. Although many Thai wives in this study revealed that they felt forced to take care of their parents-in-law based on Thai culture and tradition, the expectation and enforcement from their husbands and parents-in-law added more pressure for them to maintain their caregiving duties.

7.1.5

Limited Financial Status and Remittance Demanding

Answering the question ‘What do you think of your parents-in-law?’ made most Thai wife informants feel uncomfortable, especially when I asked explicitly about the remittance and money factor. Many of them reported that they found it difficult to explain their feelings towards the relationship with their marital families. Some refused to explain because they did not want to mention negative things about their husband’s parents. It took time for them to decide to reveal their experiences towards remitting in their marriage families. Remittance was not the sole conflict between the Thai-German marriage couples, but it was the main source of a breach in the relationship between Thai migrant wives and their parents-in-law. Surprisingly, all Thai wives in this study revealed that it was not solely the husbands that they needed to discuss and negotiate remittance with, but also their parents-in-law. They had to explain and clarify their reasons for remitting to their husband’s family because remittance had become a family issue, not just a marriage issue. In this respect, I mentioned earlier that parents-in-law seemed to be involved in Thai wives’ lives more than they expected. The majority of them stated that their parents-in-law got involved in many aspects and situations in their marriage relationship, particularly in relation to money. Lilly revealed that Luka allowed his parents to make decisions about many things in the house before he married, and he continued to adopt this living pattern after marriage. Lilly did not like this style of living, but she could not convince Luka to change it because she was not able to take full responsibility for household activities such as picking up/sending a package at the post office, communicating with a technician who came to fix things in the house, taking their pet to a veterinarian, or even going to supermarket by herself. Thus, Luka’s parents were involved with activities and situations in their house as well as their relationship.

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“His parents are always here because there are many things that I cannot do. They come to check the mail, pick-up packages for us, come for appointments with a technician, take our dog for a check-up, and many other things. Luka lets his parents arrange everything for him. He said he cannot trust me because I am not German, I don’t know the language. He doesn’t trust me about money either. His parents warned him about me because of my previous career in Thailand, so they may think that I am like…a gold-digger.” Interview Question: ‘How did they know?’ “Luka told them. I think it is normal because they are family, you know. His parents know everything about me and Luka. But I don’t like that they tried to give their opinions about our relationship. Luka believes his mother very much. He often does whatever his mother suggests, including remittance. His parents are extremely opposed my remitting demand. Even though Luka accepted to send remittance to my family today, he tried to convince me to stop it many times. I believe it is because of his mother’s suggestion.”

Similarly, other Thai wife interviewees revealed that their parents-in-law were a part of their marriage relationship, especially concerning the financial factor. Remittance was the issue that their husband’s parents were most concerned about. The majority of Thai wives’ parents-in-law in this study had expressed dissatisfaction at their remitting demand and had displayed both tangible and intangible reactions. Many said that their husband’s parents tried to persuade them to stop remitting for reasons of culture, tradition, and their financial condition. In some cases they reported that their parents-in-law verbally expressed their disagreement towards sending remittance. For example, Daisy stated that her parents-in-law aggressively expressed disagreement with her remitting practice. She was judged and blamed for being an economic burden on Danny because she could not earn money at that time. Danny’s family considered Daisy’s remitting demand as the action of a golddigger. Danny’s mother strongly believed that Daisy had married Danny for money to meet her remitting requirement. Danny and his parents actively convinced her to stop thinking about remitting and only focus on taking care of the marriage family. “It was impossible for me to send money to my family when I first arrived here. Everyone in this family, including my husband, disagreed with my remitting. Danny’s parents were very mad at me when they found out about it. They said that I had married Danny for money like other Thai girls who are gold-diggers. They said that I should not ask for any money from Danny for my family because I relied on his money for living here already. They were very mean to me. They judged me and blamed me.” Interview Question: ‘What did Danny do about this?’

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“He agreed with his parents. He does not want me to send money to my parents. He also wants to stop sending money to support my daughters. He tried to convince me many times, but I ignored him. With Danny, I can argue or fight with him about this. But I can’t argue with his parents. It is not appropriate because they are elderly. So, it is like an argument that I have no chance to explain.”

Daisy’s case was the most severe among all Thai wife participants, but a common point between them was the perspective of Thai migrant wives among their parents-in-law. Based on the Thai wife informants’ interviews, their parents-inlaw tended to perceive them as a vulnerable person due to their financial condition and limited opportunity for a career in Germany. In general, the status of Thai migrant wives when they first arrived in Germany did not support their employment opportunities. They needed to study the German language and achieve at least a B1 level so that they could apply for a job. Further, they needed to wait for their visas to be processed, a bureaucratic procedure which took some time. During this time, they could not earn money and needed to rely on their husband’s income. Additionally, Thai wife informants who had a superior educational background reported that it was very difficult for them to search for a decent job with possible growth opportunities in terms of a career path because their Thai education certificates were not recognized in Germany. Therefore, from the perspective of their parents-in-law, the remittance requirement was not a pleasant or feasible action bearing in mind their limitations in terms of financial capacity. Tulip explained that her conjugal family were strongly opposed to her remittance, including her husband Tony. They all convinced her not to think about sending remittance and focus only her marriage family. She added that they were nice to her because they knew that she had a good background. However, they began to suspect her because of her remittance request. Her parents-in-law argued that since she could not work and earn money anymore, and she was now dependent on Tony’s income, she should not think about supporting her family. Tulip assumed that they did not understand her true reason for remitting because of cultural differences. Although she understood the reason why her parents-in-law disagreed with her remitting, she still felt sad about not being accepted by her marriage family. “My parents-in-law are nice to me. They know I came from a good family and had a good education. My relationship with them is good except for the remittance. You know that Tony strongly disagreed with me about remittance. We have fought about this since I arrived here. When his mother learned about it, she was very upset. She told me that she disagreed with it, and she thinks it is uncommon behavior for a child. She used the reason that I did not earn money anymore, so I cannot spend money

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like I want. She said I need to think about Tony and this family now, not my family in Thailand, because they are not here, and they cannot help me when I’m in trouble here. I understand her points. What she said is right. I know we have totally different perspectives and cultures about parents. But I feel bad, I feel like no one here truly accepts me. They refuse to listen to me. It seems like they don’t respect me.”

In some cases, their remittance demand became the reason that their husband’s parents pressured them to search for a job at the earliest opportunity. Some Thai wife informants reported that their parents-in-law were strongly opposed to their remitting request and forced them to find a job to decrease the economic burden on their husbands. For example, in the case of Jasmine, her parents-in-law were unsatisfied with her remitting demand and request. They supported Jo’s refusal towards it. They believed Jasmine had married Jo for money, given her previous job as a bargirl, her background, and her education level. Jasmine revealed that her parents-inlaw actively pushed her to learn the German language and encouraged her to find a job as soon as possible. She thought that her parents-in-law did not want her to use Jo’s money for remittance. However, she found out that Jo’s parents expected her to help Jo with the household expenses, but they were still opposed to remittance even when it was her own money. Jasmine disclosed that they would heavily complain about her remitting unless she kept performing as a housewife for Jo and as a caretaker for them. “I am not surprised that his parents dislike me. You know. I can’t lie to myself. They treated me more nicely than I expected. They just don’t want me to send money to my parents. They want me to work to help Jo to pay the expenses and to pay for my own personal stuff. Jo’s mother was very active in pushing me to learn the German language. She also helped me to find a job. I thought I could send money if I worked, but they still forbid me to do so. Even when I have a job, both Jo and his parents want me to take care of them, clean, cook, go out sometimes with them.”

Jasmine’s case was similar to many other cases, especially those from inferior backgrounds, low financial status, low education attainment, and in the labor class in Thailand. They had intended to find a job ever since they planned to marry and move to Germany. Their decision was clear when they faced the remittance conflict with their husbands and parents-in-law. However, when it came to remittance, they could not avoid conflict within their marriage families. Although they were financially independent, they were still not completely free to spend their money as they wanted, unless they accepted to perform their role as a housewife

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for their husbands and as a caretaker for their parents-in-law. If they did otherwise, they would have to face complaints, claims, and in some cases, violence with their marriage family. In the case of Daisy, her parents-in-law complained about her financial status. They expected her to search for a job as quickly as possible so that Danny could stop his financial support for Daisy’s daughters. Danny’s parents considered that it was not his responsibility to send remittance to Daisy’s parents. They expected Daisy to take care of all the financial expenses related to her daughters by herself. However, they still expected Daisy to take care of Danny and themselves by way of being a housewife. They strongly disagreed with sending remittance and tried to convince Daisy not to do it. They required Daisy to share her income for the household expenses instead of sending it to her parents in Thailand. Daisy said that they had very negative perception about remittance and were firmly against it. “Danny’s parents complained about remitting every day. They also complained about money in general. They said I am a gold-digger who spends the money of my husband. They said I cannot request any money for my family because I used Danny’s money. I have no right to request or spend money that belongs to Danny. They pushed me to find a job. They want me to support my own daughter and stop bothering Danny for money. But…even I work, they still want me to take care of them like before. And when I got a job and I planned to remit, they were extremely mad at me. They said I should help Danny with the expenses in the house, so I shared my income for groceries. But they still tried to force me not to send money to my parents. They said it is unfair to Danny. They also manipulated Danny about remittance, but I can argue with him as it is my own money.”

Although the financial condition of Thai wives was given by their marital families as a reason against their will to remit, the expected role of Thai migrant wives among their marriage families also appeared as a barrier to disrupt their remittance desire as well. Many Thai wives revealed that their parents-in-law were dissatisfied with their limited financial status in Germany. They were blamed for not being able to help their husbands in terms of money as they were unable to find a decent job. However, at the same time, they were forbidden from working because their marital family expected them to be a full-time housewife. Interestingly, the women who faced this circumstance were mostly those from superior backgrounds. They disclosed that their husbands and parents-in-law preferred them to stay at home and do the housework instead of finding a job with the reason that it was very difficult for them to get a good job in Germany, due to many limitations such as the language barrier, education recognition, and social

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adaptation. However, given their financially dependent status, they were opposed to sending remittance to their natal family. Rose explained that her remittance request was against the expectations of her husband and his parents. No one in her marriage family agreed with her remitting demand. They convinced her to focus on her marriage family, not her family in Thailand. Her parents-in-law used the reason that she depended on Ryan’s income to stop her remittance plan. Rose tried to find a solution by searching for a parttime job, but Ryan and his parents were opposed to it. They expected Rose to be a full-time housewife. They argued that she would not be able to find a good job in Germany because of the language barrier. Further, they did not want Rose to work as a laborer. Rose had no choice but to follow what Ryan and his family suggested. “It is hard to explain my situation. I see it as an unsolvable problem in my life. Ryan and his parents have the same attitude toward me. They want me to stay home, be a full-time housewife, mother, and daughter-in-law. They don’t support me to work. They said that I will not find good work, my language is not good enough, or I will only work as a cleaner. The reason why I want to work is for remittance. Ryan and his parents strongly denied it. They said I requested too much, and it is unfair to Ryan because he is the only one who works. His mother also often complains about my financial status here. She often says that I should love Ryan more than this because he sacrifices a lot for me. She said I need to be happy because I have a good life here, stay at home, don’t have to work, and have more than enough money for living. It is quite confusing for me. Do you get my point? I feel I am a burden for Ryan, but I think should not feel like this because I sacrificed many things too.”

For those informants who experienced this uncomfortable circumstance, they were confused about what were the right things that they should do. They found it very difficult to argue or explain when it came to their parents-in-law. They tended to follow what their parents-in-law suggested because they were afraid of potential conflicts between them. From their perspective, parents were to be respected, and they seemed to believe that their husbands had the same attitude towards the essence of parents. Thus, they were aware that a problem with their parents-in-law could lead to problems in their marriage relationship as well. However, they were unhappy with their financial status and position in the family. Many revealed that it seemed like they had no choice but to live according to their marriage family’s will. In the focus group interview, there was a discussion about the wives’ relationship with their parents-in-law and the remittance issue. This focus group mixed Thai wives who came from both superior and inferior backgrounds. They shared similar conflicts about their marital families, which were about remittance and

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their expected duties in the house. However, the difference between these two groups of Thai wives was in their living decisions. Interviewee A (Thai wife from superior background): “I don’t work because it is the easiest solution for me. Uhmm…My husband and his family don’t want me to work. They want me to stay home. They believe it is the best choice for me.” Interviewee B (Thai wife from inferior background): “It is good when you have a nice husband. I need to work because my husband does not send money for my family. But he and his parents also don’t want me to work. I just have to do it.” Interviewee A: “My husband doesn’t send remittance for me either. I send it in secret. I took some money from the groceries expense to remit.” Interviewee C (Thai wife from superior background): “I got you. I almost had to do the same, but I fought with my husband, so he had no choice but accepted to remit. Now his parents always blame me for that. His parents are the ones that I cannot deal with. They want me to provide caregiving to them, stay home and be a housewife, but always complain that I am not capable of earning money here. They don’t like me because I request his son to remit to my parents.” Interviewee B: “Oh, I never knew about your life before. I thought you were happy with a rich husband. My parents-in-law don’t like me too. They believe I am a gold-digger as you know where I come from. (laughing) But if I care, my family will never receive my money.” Interviewee A: “I used to argue with my husband about remitting but I gave up because his mother got involved in this topic. She made me feel guilty that I rely on my husband’s money.”

As we can see from all the statements above, the financial condition of Thai wives in this study not only affected their remitting demand but also their personal expenditure. The majority of Thai wife informants used the term ‘consideration’ to explain their feeling and behavior towards their parents-in-law. They were likely to be submissive to their parents-in-law, even if they did not like to be so. The parents-in-law seemed to have more of an influence on Thai wives than their husbands in terms of feelings, self-confidence, and living patterns. On the subject of their personal expenses, the Thai wives reported that parents-in-law had a significant effect on their expenditure behavior. Notifications and complaints from their parents-in-law about their financial status influenced them to change their expenditure perspectives and behaviors. They became economized and resisted spending money for themselves because they were considerate to their husbands and parents-in-law, and always realized that the money was not theirs. This effect was observed mostly among those informants who were full-time housewives.

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Remittance arguments with their husbands were already difficult for Thai wives, but were deemed to be nearly impossible when it came to their husband’s parents. All Thai wives in this study noted that they were incapable of arguing with parents-in-law or even elderly people in general. Thus, they commonly accepted that it was extremely hard for them to explain about and discuss remitting to their parents-in-law. Their husband’s parents’ disagreement about remitting had a particular effect on their decision to remit and on their living strategies. In addition, none of the Thai wife participants reported that they received any support from their German husband when their parents-in-law got involved in their relationship. In contrast, the husbands tended to support their parents rather than their wives, according to the findings.

7.1.6

Cultural Influence, Essence of Extended Marriage Family, Relationship Maintenance

All Thai wives in this study had the same set of behaviors towards their parentsin-law. They were obedient, humble, and respectful to them and also to other older members of their marital families. According to the explanations of all Thai wife participants, cultural beliefs and tradition appeared as the main factor that triggered them to treat their husband’s parents in that way. They honestly believed that this was an appropriate set of behaviors which they needed to perform towards the elderly in general. For their parents-in-law, they not only followed this set of behaviors, but also provided caregiving and attempted to avoid any conflicts with them. I captured the statements of three Thai wife informants, Tulip, Poppy, and Daisy, who had different backgrounds and marriage stories, to present their common perspectives on their proper behavior towards their parents-in-law. Tulip: “I think it is our culture. We have been taught to treat our seniors this way. We automatically respect, obey, and are humble to older people, especially those in our family. For my parents-in-law, I treated them like they are my parents. This is my way of having a good relationship with them. I respect them, I am nice, and never argue with them. I tried to avoid any conflict with them, even about remittances. I often cook for them. I always bought small presents for them. I even sometimes feel like they take advantage from me, but I believe in the value of our culture. I believe this is the right thing to do. It feels right to do, even if they don’t appreciate what I do for them.”

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Poppy: “My mother told me before I came here that I needed to behave nicely and properly to Peter’s parents. She is concerned about my relationship with Peter’s family. She wants me to be loved by his parents so that I will not have problem with him. I am also aware of it myself that I have to behave very nicely to them so that they will be happy to have me in their family. I treated them like they are my own parents. I always do as they wanted me to do like cleaning, cooking, accompanying them to go outside. Sometimes, I feel bad that I take care of them instead of my parents. Sometimes, I felt too lazy to do things for them, but I would feel very guilty about refusing their needs. It is our culture, you know.” Daisy: “I treated my parents-in-law as if they were my parents. I cleaned, cooked, massaged, did all the housework for them when I lived with them. I never argued with them even when they complained or blamed me about my past and family. I believed that this is the right behavior as they are my parents-in-law, which means they are my family now.”

The phrase ‘treated my parents-in-law as my own parents’ was used by nearly all Thai wife informants to describe their feelings and behavior towards their parentsin-law. This phrase implied that they accepted their parents-in-law as seniors in the family. Meanwhile, they positioned themselves at the lowest level of their marriage family. The perceived high position of their parents-in-law determined their behavior and performance. They considered themselves as a junior and outsider of the family while their parents-in-law were ranked the highest in the family. In the focus group interview, the participants explained their reason for positioning their parents-in-law so highly, based on their cultural and traditional influences. Interviewee A: “Why do I think of my parents-in-law as my own parents? It does not mean that I would love them as my own, but I would behave to them nicely and properly as my own. I married my husband and moved into his family, so they are now my family. His parents are like my parents, I mean their position in the family. I need to be well-behaved because I am just a stranger to this family.” Interviewee B: “For me, it is because they are now my family. His parents became my parents because I married him. I tried to love them as much as I love my parents, but it is quite hard for me because they are not that nice to me. Now, I can only take care of them as much as I can. I think it is normal as it is a duty of a child to their parents, even their parents-in-law.”

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Interviewee A: “I would say that it is our culture. After some years, I noticed that people here behaved differently to their parents-in-law. They treated their husband’s family like strangers rather than family. I think it is kind of weird.” Interviewee C: “I also think the same as all of you. I never really thought about the reason why I take care of my parents-in-law before. I treat them well because I feel it is right. I behave to them as they were my parents. It just happened automatically for me. It may be our culture.”

Evidently, all Thai wives’ behavior towards their parents-in-law was determined by their cultural and traditional beliefs. Besides culture and tradition, they were also seriously concerned about their relationship within their marital family. According to the interviews, all Thai wife participants accepted to be submissive to their parents-in-law to have a good relationship with them. For them, a good relationship with their parents-in-law means that they have a secure relationship with their marriage family. The findings revealed that the financial status of Thai wives was also affected by their behavior towards their parents-in-law. Generally, Thai wives in this study attempted to form a positive bond with their parents-in-law. However, for those who were full-time housewives, they worried about their relationship with their husband’s parents and tended to be more submissive than informants who worked and were able to earn money for remitting and for themselves. For Thai wife participants who were unemployed, they were more docile and provided more caregiving to their parents-in-law if they encountered negative reactions to them such as complaints, blaming, or anger. They worried about having conflicts with their parents-in-law because it would bring problems to their marriage relationship later, which would possibly impact on their remitting agreement. Lilly was a full-time housewife according to Luka and his parents’ wishes. She made an agreement about remittance with Luka, but he never voluntarily agreed with it. He tried to convince her to stop remitting, as did his parents. Lilly revealed that she was extremely worried about her relationship with Luka’s parents. She never felt secure in her marriage life because she felt that she was not welcomed by his parents. She decided to be obedient to her parents-in-law so that she would not face any arguments with Luka, because she still relied on him for remittance and her living. Interview Question: ‘Why do you behave so nicely to your parents-in-law when they don’t treat you the same way?’ “Why? Umm…I never thought about the reason before. I think it is normal. They are my husband’s parents, so it is like they are my parents as well. Luka loves his parents

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so much. I want him to know that I love them too. I know they don’t like me and they are not nice to me but there is nothing I can do about it. I can’t fight with them. It will cause problems for me later. I don’t want to have problems with Luka. We fight nearly every month about remittance. I don’t want to add more problems in our relationship.” Interview Question: ‘So, this is how you solve the problem?’ “It is not like I want it this way, but what else I can do? I still rely on Luka’s money. I am living through his money. He sends remittance to my mother. I feel like I owe him a favor. If I tell him about his parents, I don’t think he will like it. I want to live in peace. If I just behave nicely to his parents, nothing will go wrong in our relationship.”

Rose’s situation was slightly different. Rose failed to request a remittance agreement with Ryan. She now remitted to her parents by secretly taking some money that was intended for the monthly groceries. Ryan strongly disagreed with remitting, even to his parents. However, Rose still felt like she needed to treat Ryan’s parents nicely by obeying and being humble to them. Rose admitted that she treated her parents-in-law nicely because she attempted to avoid conflicts with Ryan. She felt insecure in the marriage relationship because she fully relied on Ryan’s income. “Can I explain it in this way? I believe the way I treated my parents-in-law is the right thing to do. Even if it does not provide a positive result, it still feels right to do it. I would feel bad with myself if I didn’t behave like this. So, I do not feel sorry about it. However, I have to admit that I found myself being too obedient to them lately. Umm…I think it is because of me. I never felt like I belong to their family. I felt alone here, even with Ryan. No one understands me. But I still need to be here because my children are here, and I need Ryan to support us. I am unemployed and rely on Ryan’s money. I don’t want to have any problems that may affect our relationship when I still need to rely on him. I think this is why I treated his parents nicely. I am waiting for my sons go to school, then I will search for a job. I believe my situation can be better if I have a job.”

Although the Thai wives in this study were concerned about the essence of the relationship with their parents-in-law and attempted to have a good relationship with them by behaving as a good daughter-in-law, many of them failed to achieve it. The majority of Thai wife participants accepted that they didn’t have a good relationship with their parents-in-law, even though they tried their best to treat them as well as they could. Many informants similarly shared that they still behaved the same way to their parents-in-law, even though they didn’t get a good reaction in return, as they believed this set of behaviors was the proper one towards seniors in the family.

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However, there was one case in this study that revealed a different result. Tulip had a good relationship with her mother-in-law after she decided to treat Tony’s mother as well as her own mother. Tony’s mother usually visited and stayed with them for one month every year. During the stay, Tony never bought anything for his mother. This was normal behavior in Tony’s family, but Tulip could not accept it, as it contrasted with her beliefs. Then, Tulip began to buy everything for Tony’s mother by using their monthly grocery expenses. She also started to buy presents for his mother on every important occasion along with providing caregiving when his mother stayed with them. Tulip revealed that Tony’s mother gradually treated her more nicely. “In the beginning, I knew that his mother didn’t like me. You know, we are Thai women. It is normal. However, I already decided to treat her as well as I could because she is now my mother-in-law. After I moved to Germany, I noticed that Tony never buys anything for his mother, not even a Christmas present. Tony’s mother usually stays with us about one month every year. Tony never does anything for his mother. I felt so bad about his behavior. This is not good child behavior at all. I had a fight with him about it several times. He insisted that it is normal for his family, and he said that I should not get involved. But I couldn’t let it go. So, I thought if I could not change him, I will do it myself. I began to buy everything for his mother when she stayed with us by using our grocery money. I buy presents for her on every important day. I take very good care of her when she is with us. After two years, my relationship with his mother is better. She stops saying bad things about Thai women. She wants to visit Thailand. She wants to see my family. This is why I believe in the value of our culture. What I did is being paid off.”

In Tulip’s case, we can see that she put all her efforts into creating a good relationship with her mother-in-law. However, Tony’s mother still disagreed with remittances and did not stop trying to convince Tulip to stop remitting. Tulip described her remitting situation with Tony and his mother as follows: “For remittances, his mother still does not agree with me. She still convinces me to stop remitting, but in a nicer way. I believe we just have different cultures and views about remittances. She will not understand why I remit to my parents. She told me that I am her family now and I should focus on this family only. I know she means it and I appreciate it. It is just about cultural differences.” “After I had a good relationship with his mother, I noticed that Tony was happy as well. He complained less about remittances. It is also because he slowly realized that my family takes care of him very well when we visit Thailand. Lately, he has wanted to increase the amount of remittances, but I don’t really trust him. I may be too pessimistic, but I believe that he is not honest with my family. I don’t want to be the one who lets him take advantage of my parents.”

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Therefore, it seemed difficult for Thai wives to gain acceptance or agreement from their marital family regarding their remittances, even when they had a good relationship with them. It was not only Tulip that put in her best efforts to build a good relationship with her parents-in-law in this way, many informants revealed similar behaviors toward their parents-in-law but did not achieve a positive result.

7.2

German Son-in-Law and Thai Wife’s Family

7.2.1

Loose Bonding with Thai Parents-in-Law

This study found that the German husbands had a very different perspective towards having a relationship with their parents-in-law in comparison with their Thai wives. Based on the results, the German husbands in this study did not consider that forming a bond with their Thai parents-in-law was important to them. They did not think that their relationship with their parents-in-law would have any impact on their lives or on their marriage relationship. They conceived their parents-in-law as the family of their Thai wives, but not as their close family. Although they were aware that their parents-in-law are important for their wives, they did not consider it as their concern. Oliver, Orchid’s husband, shared his perspective towards bonding with Orchid’s parents, stating that it was not important for him to develop or maintain a relationship with Orchid’s family. He considered it was Orchid’s task to maintain a relationship with her natal family, but not his. For him, his marriage family involved him and his wife but not each other’s extended family. Conversely, he also believed that an extended family should not get involved in a couple’s marriage relationship. “I know her parents and family, but I am not close to them. You know, the language problem. I cannot speak Thai and they cannot speak English or German. It’s like…we cannot speak to each other without Orchid. But I don’t mind. Every time we visited Thailand, we spent time with her family. I let her have some time with her family. I know she misses her family a lot. I let her take care of her family. I am just being there with her and relaxing with nature.” Interview Question: ‘What do you do to keep the relationship with her family?’ “Me? Nothing. I think I do not have to do anything for her family. It is her family. I think it depends on what Orchid wants to do with them. I respect her for this because they are her parents and family. I just don’t like it when they ask too much from her. For me, the relationship that I care about is my family. I mean Orchid and my son.”

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Oliver’s perspective was similar to other German husbands whom I interviewed. They had the same attitude toward and relationship pattern with their Thai parents-in-law. They did not have a close relationship with their wife’s family. They did not think that a positive relationship with their parents-in-law would affect their marriage lives. Although they knew that their parents-in-law were considerably important to their Thai wives, they did not involve themselves in this relationship. They similarly perceived that it was their wife’s duty to maintain the bond with their parents-in-law, but not their responsibility. In the interview, Luka clearly admitted that he did not conceive of Lilly’s family as his. He knew that Lilly loved her family very much, but he thought that it was Lilly’s responsibility to maintain the relationship with her natal family, and it was not his duty to be concerned about the relationship with her family. Luka believed that Lilly had to be the one who took care of the relationship with her family by herself. Meanwhile, his responsibilities were to take care of his natal and marriage families. For Luka, he believed that the marriage family should be the priority of the marriage couple. He admitted that he did not like it when Lilly worried about her family in Thailand more than the marriage relationship. He usually convinced Lilly to focus more on their relationship rather than her natal family in Thailand. “After getting married, it is normal to focus on the marriage relationship. Lilly always thinks about her mother. She always worries about her mother in Thailand. It is not like I don’t like her mother, but I think it is too much. For me, I think the marriage relationship is the most important after we married. She can miss her mother. We visit her mother every year. I think it is enough. There is nothing she can do from here.” Interview Question: ‘How about you? Do you think about her family?’ “I don’t. It is not my business. It is Lilly’s family. It is not my family. I just support her with money and the life here. Lilly is my family, but her mother is not my mother. I have a family here too that I have to take care of, and now I have Lilly as my wife.”

Although the German husbands had totally different perspectives and behaviors towards having and maintaining a relationship with their Thai parents-in-law, all Thai wife participants in this study considered it to be the normal behavior among the German people. The interviews of all Thai wife informants similarly revealed that their husbands had a loose relationship with their parents and other family members since the beginning of the relationship. They added that the relationship had not developed since then. Most of them, particularly those who were loweducated and from a financially inferior background, thought that the reason why their husbands were not close to their family was because of the language barrier.

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They explained that their husbands could not speak Thai while their parents could not speak either English or German. With no common language, they were unable to communicate. Jasmine was not surprised at Jo’s perspective and behavior towards her family. She knew from Jo’s characteristics that he would not care about her family. Jasmine believed that it was a normal behavior of the German people to treat the partner’s family in this way. She said that Jo’s behavior had been clear since the beginning. He never wanted to meet her family, even at the wedding. She also knew that Jo would not think of her parents as his family. However, she had no problem with this as she believed that, culturally, it was usual behavior. “It is normal, no? The German people do not treat their husband or wife’s family as their own. I am not surprised that Jo thinks like this. I don’t mind that he is not close to my family. I think it is normal. All of my Thai friends who married a German man also faced the same reality. None of their husbands are close to their Thai family. They said it is normal that the German husbands did not think of their parents as their family.”

Likewise, Orchid was aware of Oliver’s perspective towards her natal family since the beginning. She also believed that his attitude toward setting the boundary of family relationships was typical among German men. Emphasizing the problem of communication, Orchid said that it was impossible for Oliver and her family to have a better relationship than they do when they could not speak to each other. Furthermore, Oliver directly told her that he did not consider Orchid’s family as his family, which meant that he would not take care of her parents and siblings as his own family. “Oliver was not close with my parents. In fact, he is not close to my whole family. (laughing) It is normal for the German people. They have a different culture than us. They are not even close to their own parents like us. They don’t include their wife’s family as their family. They only accept their wife to be their family. Oliver told me since the beginning of our marriage that my parents are not his parents. He is fine to take care of me but not my family. I think it is normal for German people. I don’t blame him for this. I don’t expect him to do anything for my family. I can take care of my family by myself.”

As to cultural differences, all Thai wives in this study honestly accepted their husband’s perspective and behavior towards having a relationship with their parents, especially those from a financially inferior background and with a low education. However, there were a few Thai wife informants, particularly those who were highly educated, from a financially superior background, whose parents

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could speak English, who complained about their husband’s behavior towards their parents. For example, Rose’s parents achieved a high education level and worked as teachers in a well-known school. Rose disclosed that her parents did not like Ryan due to many factors, one of which was how Ryan behaved toward them. Rose explained that it was normal for Thai people to use the terms ‘mother’ and ‘father’ for their partner’s parents, treating them as their own parents. Ryan did not use these terms in the same manner as Rose. He preferred to call Rose’s parents by their names, providing the reason that he did not think of them as his parents. In the beginning of the relationship, Rose considered it to be part of his culture. She accepted his behavior and respected his perspective. However, after getting married, she noticed that Ryan never seemed to actively interact with her parents. He rarely talked to her parents, even though her parents could speak English quite well. She began to think that it was not fair to her because she took care of his parents as if they were her own. She said that she complained about this to Ryan many times, but Ryan refused to improve and insisted that it was not his duty to please her parents. “I knew it is normal for European people to have a distance with their wife’s family. I mean they have a different culture about the family than us. For us, we have to love and be nice to the husband’s parents no matter what. But they don’t have this culture. I told you before that my parents don’t like Ryan. They did not want me to marry him because of many reasons, and one of those is his behavior. When we decided to get married, my parents tried to be nice to him. They allowed him to call them ‘mom’ and ‘dad’. You know Thai parents. If they allow someone to call them that, it means they have accepted that person as their child. Ryan seriously denied them. He insisted on calling them by their names. He told me after that he did not like it because my parents are not his parents. I understand him. It is about culture. He does not have this kind of culture. Then, after I married him and lived with him, I noticed that he never looked keen about meeting my family. He never wants to talk to my parents, even though my parents can speak English well. I am okay that he never thinks about buying or offering any presents to my parents. I suppose it is not his culture. But after a couple of times of visiting my parents, it is clear to me that he does not even try to be nice to them. I feel like it is not fair to me at all after I have treated his parents nicely. When I say this to him, he always replies that it is not his job to please my parents. He did not say it in a bad way, but the meaning is very hurtful to me. I did not expect him to treat my parents like I do, but I want him to be nice or even pretend to be nice a bit. If this is his culture, I don’t like it.”

Although these Thai wives disliked their husband’s behavior, they admitted that they were not able to change it to match their expectations. However, they began

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to wonder if their husband’s behavior was indeed shaped by culture or if it was just an individual characteristic. Lotus used to believe that Rome did not consider her mother as his family because of his cultural background. However, she began to think that it might be due to his personal perspective and characteristics. She disclosed that Rome rarely talked with her family, even though all her family members could speak English very well, thanks to their educational background. From her family’s perspective, Rome was an unfriendly person. None of them liked Rome, but they could not avoid him as he was Lotus’s husband. Rome usually preferred her mother to pay everything for them when they were in Thailand, without expressing any appreciation in return. Lotus gradually believed that the reason why Rome set this boundary with her family was because of himself rather than his culture. “I never like how Rome behaves with my family, especially my mother. I feel like he doesn’t respect my mother as he is supposed to. I used to think that it is because of his culture. European people have different culture than us, particularly when it comes to family relationships. They have quite a private life and clear boundaries in relationships. After I lived in Germany, I found out that the German people are quite nice. They respect each other. I may be wrong, because I don’t know a lot about their culture. But I began to think that it may be only him who behaves like this to the wife’s family. As I told you, my mother doesn’t like him. In fact, all my family don’t like him because of his behavior when he was with my family. He always acted bored and rarely talked to anyone. The most terrible thing is that he never says ‘thank you’ when my mother and siblings paid something for us. He acted like it is normal. I don’t think all the German people would do this.”

7.2.2

Remittance as Prejudice Against Thai Parents-in-Law

There was insufficient evidence in this study to prove that the German husbands had a distant relationship with their Thai parents-in-law because of their culture. However, the findings did support one factor as contributing to the German husbands’ preference to keep a distance from their Thai wives’ family, namely remittance. The interviews clearly showed that the German husbands began to feel a bias against their Thai wives’ parents after receiving the remittance request from their wives. They considered it as an economic burden and waste of money. Luka mentioned that he began to have negative feelings for Lilly’s mother after Lilly requested the remittance for her. He strongly disagreed with it. He did not understand why Lilly’s mother had to ask for financial support from a daughter who was married and unemployed. He believed that Lilly’s mother had to be

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independent and take care of herself. Although he submitted to send remittance to Lilly’s mother regularly, he never felt comfortable doing it. “I was fine with her family before. You can ask her that I paid for the hospital for her grandparents when they were sick. I don’t mind helping. But sending money every month is too much. It is like her mother only wants to rely on us. Lilly is now unemployed, and I am the one who take care of her. It is very unfair for me. I have to take care of Lilly and also her mother. Do you think it is right? Is this the good culture in your country? I think the right thing is her mother needs to stand for herself. She should understand that Lilly has a new family now. For this reason, I don’t want to visit her family when we go to Thailand.”

Likewise, Oliver shared a similar perspective and feeling towards his wife’s family. He disclosed that he could not accept Orchid’s remitting behavior, even if it was not his own money. He believed that it was wrong to support his wife’s family with money. He considered Orchid’s remitting behavior as contributing to the financial dependence of her family. He admitted that he had gradually started to dislike Orchid’s parents by the time he knew that Orchid needed to send extra money to them. Furthermore, he was extremely upset when he learned that Oscar, his son, began to send money to Orchid’s parents and siblings. “I don’t hate her family. I just don’t like how they treat Orchid. You know, it’s about money. It is true that it is not my money, but I don’t want my wife to work a lot and have no time to rest for the money that she sends to her family. I don’t like her parents because I think they should teach the right and wrong things to their children. It is not right to ask one daughter to support everyone in the family. Now, my son also gives money to her parents and brother. I really don’t like it.”

According to the life stories of all Thai wives in this study, they believed that their husbands were biased against their parents because of the remittance. Many of them revealed that their husbands began to become distant from their family after the marriage, even if they did not have a close relationship since the beginning. They explained that their husbands did not understand the purpose of remitting and blamed their parents for it. In the case of Orchid and Oliver, Orchid noticed that Oliver gradually disliked her parents more every time he learned that she had sent more money to them during the month because of their request. She admitted that Oliver always complained about the financial behavior of her family. He blamed her parents for this. Oliver seriously believed that her parents took advantage of her.

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“He has not liked my family since I asked him to send money to them. I knew that he disagrees with it. This is why I decided to work and send money by myself. But he still does not like my family. He complained every time he learned that they asked for extra money during the month. I think he dislikes them more and more. He really dislikes my parents. He said my parents are not good parents. He believes that my parents take advantage of me and he thinks it is not fair both for me and our family.”

The question of the relationship between the German husbands and Thai wives’ parents was discussed in the focus group interview as well. All the group members similarly stated that their husbands disliked their parents because of the remittance. Interview Question: ‘How is the relationship between your husbands and parents?’ Interviewee A (Thai wife from superior family background): “Well,….My husband does not like my parents because I remit to them. He believes that my parents require the remittance from me. He believes that my parents force me to do it.” Interviewee B (Thai wife from superior family background): “Mine, too. I understand my husband’s reason. His parents welcome supporting him financially if he asks. He does not understand that sending money to parents is our culture. But I think it is unfair for me. I treated his parents real nice, but he can’t try to be nice to my parents because he can’t accept the remittance. It is like he already has a negative image about my parents, and he acts not so nice to my parents.” Interviewee A: “Your husband too? I though it is only my husband. I also think it is not fair. I asked him to be nicer to my parents, but he said he can’t do it. He said that every time he sees my parents, he thinks about the money he sends to them every month.” Interviewee C (Thai wife from inferior family background): “But you two are better than me. At least your husband accepted to remit for you. I have to work and send money by myself, but my husband still complained about it. I have stopped trying to make my husband like my family for a long time. After we talked about remittance, he never wanted to see my family again. Every time we went to Thailand, I was the only one who visited my parents while he went to other places for his holiday.” Interview Question: ‘How can you solve this problem?’ Interviewee A: “I think there is nothing I can do. I just have to live with it.” Interviewee B: “I don’t know that my suggestion would help. For me, I just try my best to take care of his parents. I believe that he will realize this and begin to appreciate what I did for his parents then try to be nice to my parents. But I know this needs time.” Interviewee D (Thai wife from inferior family background): “Right, the good karma will bring good results into our future life. I also keep doing nice things for my husband and his family. I believe it is all about karma.”

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Interestingly, all Thai wife participants had the same perspective about solving the conflict between their husbands and parents. They considered the solution would come from their husbands and expected their husbands to understand their family culture. They expected their husbands to be nicer and respect their parents even if their husbands could not accept the remittance condition. None of them considered their parents and their remitting behavior as a source of conflict. They perceived that remittance was their duty towards their parents. For Thai wives in this study, remittance was an issue that could not be compromised, they required their husbands to understand the reason for remitting according to their view. As they could not compromise with their husbands on remittance, they decided to provide caregiving to their husband’s parents in exchange, and expected that their husband would react better toward their parents in return. However, according to the findings, none of them got a positive result from this strategy.

8

Transmission of the Remittance Behavior

Another important effect of monetary remittance on Thai woman migrants’ families, which could not be neglected in this study, was the impact of remittances on their Thai-German children. Based on the stories of all Thai wife informants, it was quite evident that they aimed to transmit their perspective on remittance to their children. As monetary remittances were more of a cultural belief that helped Thai migrants to strongly engage with their natal family, they, in turn, were likely to shape their own children’s beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors, as well. This chapter explains the transmission of remittance behaviors among ThaiGerman parents and their children, demonstrating how the remittance behavior is carried over to the next generation. The most important finding was that this gratitude culture was introduced to and internalized by children brought up by the Thai mothers. Further, the German husbands supported their Thai wives to raise their children in a Thai style. In other words, the German fathers preferred their children to obey and respect their parents, and to be polite to them, and this including remitting as well. Lastly, another factor that encouraged the offspring of Thai wife informants to have a positive perspective about remitting is the closeness with their Thai family. The children of Thai wives in this study mostly accepted Thai cultures and traditions rather than German ones due to the influence of their mothers and the Thai side of their family, especially their Thai grandparents. Thus, this chapter presents the main factors that influenced the children of Thai-German parents to maintain the remittance behavior.

© The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Fachmedien Wiesbaden GmbH, part of Springer Nature 2023 K. Haklin, Remittance of Thai Female Marriage Migrants in Germany, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-658-41686-7_8

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8 Transmission of the Remittance Behavior

Domination of ‘Gratitude’ Culture

For the Thai wife participants in this study, Thai culture mattered even if they were living in a new society. In the bi-cultural marriage relationship context, all Thai wives in this study played an important role in shaping the family routines and creating the living sphere of the family, as they were fully responsible for the household. Their role as a housewife intensely influenced the family culture and shaped the living style of their own marriage family, particularly when their German husbands were not keen to be in charge of the household and let their wives manage most of the chores. All Thai wives in this study were less adapted to German society. Most of them spent nearly all their time at home while those who had a job merely adapted to the society when necessary. All informants had limited social connections in their circle, which mainly included their husband, their children, their husband’s family, and Thai people who lived in the neighborhood. Childrearing was also another responsibility of Thai wives in this study. Several Thai wife participants had children, while some of them were preparing to get pregnant. They all said that they would teach their children the gratitude culture because they believed it was the best nurturing style. They would like their children to be polite to the elderly, pay respect to their parents, and take care of their parents when they got older. They were likely to believe that the gratitude culture would shape their children to be good people who are caring and warm to others. Rose had two sons; the older studied in a primary school and the younger was in kindergarten. She was fully responsible for nurturing her two children. Rose admitted that Ryan was too busy to take care of their sons, so Rose was the one who spent all the time with them. She revealed that the manner in which she taught her sons was similar to the way her parents had taught her. She often discussed how to teach her children with her parents, rather than with her husband. Rose stressed that she applied the gratitude culture principles to raise her children. She focused on the mechanism of karma; Bun-Baab, grounded on Buddhist instruction. She expected her sons to love their parents, pay respect to the elderly, and be grateful to those who helped them. She did not expect reciprocation in the form of money, but she expected them to remit in the form of physical care. In addition, Rose expected to keep her children close to her as long as possible. Therefore, she believed that teaching the gratitude culture would assist her to achieve this goal.

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“I am raising my two sons like Thai people. I am raising them in a Thai culture style. I teach them to love their parents, to obey their parents, grandparents, and people who help them. I teach them the gratitude culture. I teach them to reciprocate. It is important. It is the basic goodness to do, to carry along. But I don’t expect much from them in terms of money. I don’t teach them to remit in terms of money. I would prefer them to be close to me and physically take care of me later. But if they give money to me by their own will, I think I would be very happy. It means that they love me a lot.”

I visited Rose’s house several times for the interview sessions and personal visits. Rose’s children were what Rose expected. They were both polite, pliable, and obedient to Rose and older people. They can speak and understand the Thai language moderately well. Concerning cultural transmission, individuals can learn a culture in many ways, such as social learning, trial-and-error self-learning, but the most important influencer is learning from a close person via teaching (Richerson and Boyd, 2005). In this study, Thai mothers tended to influence their children more than the German fathers. Thus, the children in the bi-cultural family were more likely to be exposed to and absorb their mother’s beliefs, culture, attitudes, and so on. Regarding the remitting behavior, it is an option for reciprocation in the gratitude culture (Montgomery, 2001; Ratanaloan, 2005). Many Thai wife interviewees expressed that they provided money to their parents because it was another way to reciprocate their parents’ Bun-Khun. They did not give the money because of their parents’ demand but were more likely to provide it based on their gratitude belief. Orchid had an adult son, Oscar, who was still living with her and Oliver even though he had graduated and had a job already. Oscar provided money to Orchid every month. He also gave all his savings to Orchid when Orchid opened her own massage shop. Further, Oscar started to remit to his Thai grandparents without telling Orchid about it. Orchid confirmed that she never required money from Oscar and never taught Oscar to give money to his parents. She believed that Oscar learned to remit to his Thai family by observing her or by following the gratitude culture instruction that she often teaches. She admitted that she was happy about what Oscar had done. She mentioned that she felt secure and believed that Oscar would take care of her later. “I am happy that my son gives money to me every month. He started to give me money when he got a job. I raised him in the Thai style. He knows all about Thai culture, particularly family culture. I spend his money on food and household stuff in the house for our family and I save the rest of the money for him later, if he needs it. I don’t expect him to do this. I teach him about the gratitude culture and reciprocation to parents because I think it is a goodness that is important to know. I reciprocated to my parents,

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but I do not expect it from him. I think he learned by observing me. Even though I didn’t plan it in this way, I am happy that he behaves like this. I like it when he wants to stay home with me and doesn’t plan to move out like other German kids. I feel safe because I know now that I can rely on him. He will take care of me later.”

I had an opportunity to interview Oscar as well. He disclosed that he had learned the gratitude culture from his mother by direct and indirect teaching. He had seen Orchid transferring money to her Thai family since he was young. He understood that it was because of the gratitude culture. Oscar decided to provide money to his mother every month because he believed it was an appropriate thing to do. Aside from giving money, he also helped Orchid with the housework, such as gardening, cleaning, and even cooking. Oscar thought it was what a child should do for their parents. “I think it is normal to help my mom to clean, cook, or to give her money. I’m happy when she is happy. I want to help.” Interview Question: ‘Did your mom ask you to give money?’ “No. No. She doesn’t tell me to do it. I do it because I think I should do it. I work, I have enough money to live, you know…yes, I give it to them…not a problem, you know.” Interview Question: ‘How did you learn the gratitude culture?’ “I learnt it from my mom and temple. I’m more Buddhist now… I go to Wat (temple) with mom.. help her…Tum Boon (make merit). I know why she gives money to Thai families. I know it’s because of Bun-Khun, Tum Boon to parents, love. I know it.”

As we can see, remittance behavior does not happen by ordering or teaching, but it is shaped by the gratitude culture. From Oscar’s statement, the decision to remit was not related to the economic aspect but it was considered to be an appropriate behavior for a child toward their parents. Oscar never thought of moving out because he wanted to take care of his parents. He also planned to keep providing money to Orchid, even if he got married. “I want to move to Thailand. I will go if my mom goes. I want to live with my family.” Interview Question: ‘Why?’ “I think it’s normal. … I need to take care of them.” Interview Question: ‘Physical care? How about sending money? Is it not enough?’ “I will continue to give money to my mom, and I will take care of them too. It is normal. You know. I want to do it.”

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Interview Question: ‘How about your life?’ “my life is their lives. I would not have been born without my mom. You know. I want to help them….err…be with them. They will be older. They will not work later. I want to help them.”

In the case of Oscar, the gratitude culture belief shaped his living pattern and life plan. Reciprocation based on the gratitude culture was becoming common for him, just like Orchid’s perspective towards remitting. The gratitude culture was the main principle applied to raise children among Thai wives in this study. None of them expected their children to provide any material things for them, but they similarly expected that their children would take care of them later. Their reason for teaching the gratitude culture was because they preferred their children to obey and respect them. Along with the obedience, they also expected their children to appreciate their dedication and love them with a feeling of indebtedness. Tulip’s plans for educating her children were remarkably similar to those of other Thai wives in this study. Tulip prepared to have a baby. She said that she would raise her child in the Thai style. She would intensively teach based on the gratitude culture as she expected to rely on her child later. She also wanted her child to know how much she sacrificed for him/her by giving birth to and raising him/her. “I want my kid to know how much I love them. I will teach them the gratitude culture. I want them to realize that I sacrificed for them, I gave birth to them, I raised them. I would like them to be nice, polite, obey, and be grateful to their parents, grandparents, and other people who help them. I don’t want them to be aggressive and argue with parents like other German children. I will take them to the Thai temple, teach the Thai language, and I want them to be close to my family. I don’t expect them to give me money but if they do, I will be extremely happy. I just want them to take care of me and my husband when we are older. That’s it.”

8.2

Husband’s Support: Thai-style Children Preferable

During the interviews, both Thai wives and their German husbands agreed to educate their children in the Thai style. Although the German husbands did not agree with remitting and many husbands still tried to convince their wives to stop remitting, they agreed to raise their children in the Thai style based on Thai cultures and manners. The German husbands in this study let their wives take full responsibility for raising their children according to Thai cultural norms. They

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preferred to have children like the typical Thai children that they recognized, who were respectful, polite, obedient, and who would not argue with their parents. They had high expectations to have children that behaved properly toward their parents in a manner similar to the way their Thai wives treated their parents. For Oliver, he never agreed with Orchid about remitting and still convincing her to stop sending money home. However, he strongly supported Orchid to raise their children in the Thai way in terms of culture, norms, and manners. He admitted that he did not like the typical characteristics of German children. He thought German children were less polite, obstinate, and offensive. He preferred his children to be obedient and polite to their parents. Oliver mentioned that he wanted his children to behave like how Orchid behaved toward her parents. He said that this behavior was nice and proper. Thus, he allowed Orchid to take full responsibility in raising their children. “I like Thai children. They are nicer and more polite than the children here. Here, the children are too stubborn and aggressive. They don’t listen to parents or teachers. And they will move out so early. They want to live by themselves. I don’t like this relationship. I want to have kids like Orchid; nice, polite, not aggressive, not fighting with parents. I let Orchid take care of our kids because I know she will teach our kids better than me. Look at Oscar! Do you like him? He is a very nice man. He likes to live with us. He helps us with everything. My parents really love him because he is like this.”

Orchid also confirmed what Oliver said. She said that Oliver never argued about her raising the children. He got along with her in every issue when it came to educating their children. Orchid added that Oliver agreed to visit Thai temples and invited Thai friends to the house more than before they had children. “My husband also prefers our kid to be like Thai kids. Now, he is also happy that our son has started to help with the living expenses and won’t move out like other people’s kids. He changed for the better since I had a baby. He is okay with driving me to Thai temples and inviting Thai friends to our house. He often said that he wants our son to be like me. He said I am very nice to my parents, and he wants our son to be the same. He does not like the German kids. He said they are too stubborn and not polite. He wants our son to obey and be polite to his parents like me.”

The issue of differences between Thai and German children was often raised by the informants in this study. They all preferred to raise their children in the Thai style and avoided the German style. The interviewees described the different characteristics of Thai and German children in the same way. All informants

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explained that Thai children are more likely to be polite, obedient, gentle, helpful, and respectful to their parents. In contrast, German children tended to be independent, stubborn, over-confident, and quite aggressive. Another point of difference was that Thai children often had close relationships with their parents and preferred to live with them, in contrast to typical German children. Likewise, Rose disclosed that Ryan had planned the parenting method earlier, before Rose became pregnant. Ryan preferred the manners of Thai rather than German children. He let Rose be in charge of educating their children. He began to study Thai culture and manners, particularly the relationship between seniors and juniors, parents and children. Rose admitted that she was surprised at Ryan’s plan. However, she was fine with it because this was what she wanted as well. “Before I was pregnant, my husband already told me that if one day we had a child he wanted me to teach our child. He saw how I behaved toward my parents. He observed how my siblings and I treated our parents. My husband told me that if we have kids, he will let me be in charge of raising our child. He wanted me to teach Thai culture and not western culture. He wants me to teach our child Thai culture and Buddhism. He prefers Thai kids rather than German kids’ manners. He thinks that western people have too much freedom and they do not respect their seniors. The western kids are stubborn. They are not humble. They do not obey their parent’s teachings. Thai people listen to and take in what their parents say. If you say “no or don’t” to western kids, they will ask “why?”, but Thai kids will just say “yes” or “okay”. My husband likes it this way too.”

Concerning the remitting issue, it was likely an unexpected benefit that they did not plan to get from their children. In the case of Oliver and Orchid, they were not planning to get any monetary support from their son. However, they were both happy that Oscar voluntarily provided it without their requirement. Oliver admitted that he was happy to receive money from his son, but he still disagreed on Orchid’s remittance. “I am happy. I didn’t ask him to do it. We have more than enough money to live. Mm... I am happy. Sometimes, he pays for a restaurant when we eat outside or offers to pay for things in the house. I am proud of him.” Interview Question: ‘So, you agree with Orchid about sending money home now?’ “No. No. No. That is another topic. It is not the same thing. What she does is too much. I think she should stop it. She gives them too much already. Oscar is our son and he gives money because he wants to give. It is not because he needs to give.”

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Nearly all Thai wives in this study encountered the same problem. They were happy that their husbands preferred their children to be raised as Thai, but they still had disagreements with their husbands over remitting. In the focus group interview, the topic of parenting and remitting was discussed as well. The members of the group shared similar experiences: their husbands preferred to raise their children in the Thai style, and none expected reciprocation from their children in the future. However, there were some Thai wives who had adult children who willingly gave money to them when they got a job, and the German husbands were happy about it and began to get used to it. Interviewee A: “My kids started to give money to me when they got a job. I think my husband is happier than me. He looks very happy and often shows this off to his friends and family.” Interviewee B: “(laugh) My husband also likes it. In the beginning, he was a bit shocked and asked me whether I ordered my children to do it or not. I said ‘no’. Then, he was very excited. He is very proud of our daughters. I think my daughters learned it by seeing me send money to my parents.” Interviewee A: “The funny thing is that my husband likes to receive money from our kids but still asks me to stop sending money to my parents.” Interviewee B: “My husband complains about it nearly every day. But he is happy to get money from our kids. Lately, I noticed that he is getting used to it now. He is does not get excited or say ‘thank you’ anymore but he acts as if it is normal.” Interviewee C: “I think it is normal. My husband was not surprised when our son gave money for the first time. He said he knew it was because I do this to my parents so he guessed our kid will do the same. He’s happy about it. But we keep the money for our son later when he needs it.”

We can see from all the statements above that the remitting behavior of ThaiGerman children was a consequence of the gratitude culture belief that could happen without direct teaching or orders from parents. With the support of the father, the gratitude culture belief and reciprocation became a strong foundation of their children’s belief and living pattern. Oscar once mentioned that he believed in the gratitude culture. Additionally, he believed that providing money to parents was normal behavior that kids should do. “I know gratitude. My mother teaches me. My Thai family teaches me. I know it is a Bun-Baab (Karma). I believe in it. …errr…like me...I give money to my parents and I live happier because my parents are happy. I think it is normal to give money. It is what a child must do. My parents are very happy. They are happy that I help them...support

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their life. I told them I will take care of them when they’re old. My father is happy. He knows he can trust me. I will take care of him later.”

For Oscar, the reward of providing money to his parents was to see their happiness. His father’s support was important in this sense as it provided proof that the gratitude culture is the right path to follow for children. Oscar’s father played an important role in supporting his belief in the gratitude culture. As in other transnational families, the German father helped to enhance the gratitude belief by expressing their appreciation for the material reciprocation, which encouraged their children to maintain this behavior.

8.3

Interaction with Thai Community and Thai Family

Another important factor that influenced the remitting behavior among international Thai-German children was their interaction with the Thai community in Germany and Thai families in Thailand. All informants who had children similarly disclosed that their children mostly spent time with their Thai friends and family rather than with family and friends of their German husbands. As the main person taking care of their children was the Thai mother, their children mostly interacted with the mother’s social connections. Furthermore, the Thai wives in this study said that their children also preferred to be with their Thai family rather than their husbands’ family. Orchid explained that Oscar had liked being with Thai people since he was young. She often took him to Thai events and Thai friends’ houses. Oscar got along with Thai people better than German people. Also, Oscar was closer with his Thai family than his German family. Lately, he had visited his Thai family in Thailand by himself. Orchid assumed the reason why Oscar prefers his Thai family and Thai people was because he had been raised in the Thai style, so he was more familiar with Thai people’s characteristics. “Oscar is closer to his Thai family than his family here. He doesn’t like to visit his German grandparents. He said he does not like their way of thinking and living. I think he likes his Thai family more because he is used to the Thai style, so he feels comfortable. For friends, he doesn’t have a lot of German friends. His friends are mostly the children of my Thai friends, Thai-German kids like him. They went to train in Thai boxing together. Sometimes, they went to Thailand together. He told me that he wants to move to Thailand because he doesn’t have many friends here.” Interview Question: ‘Do his friends give money to their parents?’

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“Not everyone, but most of them. I once heard them talk about this when they had dinner here. I think Oscar chooses his friends well. He does not befriend bad people.”

Interaction with a society has a considerable impact on an individual’s beliefs, perspectives, attitudes, behaviors, and so on (Eisner, 2000; McFee, 1998; Richerson and Boyd, 2005). The Thai migrants in Germany in this study rarely blended themselves into the new social context, environment, and cultural practices. They tended to maintain their beliefs, traditions, and culture by integrating these factors into their lives in Germany. As to childrearing, the community provided a learning platform for the children that effectively shaped their behaviors by associating them with the society (Appadurai, 2003; Wilson and Dissanayake (1996). Many Thai wives in this study intentionally encouraged their children to integrate with the Thai community as much as possible. They believed this strategy would assist their children to naturally understand Thai culture and learn Thai manners more quickly. Rose believed that the environment and community were especially important to raising her children. As Rose and Ryan agreed to raise their children in the Thai style, they often took them to Thai events and temples to meet and interact with Thai people there. Rose also invited her sister, who was now married to a German husband, to babysit or spend time with her sons. Also, she often invited her parents to visit them, so that they would learn from their Thai grandparents. Rose admitted that she had a high expectation to shape her children to be Thai. Thus, she believed that she needed to arrange the proper social interactions for her children. “It is important to arrange a proper environment and society for the children. I believe that this has a serious impact on the children regarding their perspective and behaviors. They will learn from people other than their parents. Since I have had babies, I have tried to interact with Thai people in Germany more, especially those who have kids. I learned a lot from them, like how to teach the Thai language, how to teach them to pay respect to monks. I often asked my sister to visit and play with my kids. And my parents also often visit me here because they want to be with their grandchildren. Ryan is so nice. He supports and welcomes my family warmly. He also likes our kids to be around Thai people as well so that they can learn to behave like Thai people quickly.”

Moreover, Rose applied for her older son to attend a Thai language class at a Thai temple near her city and planned to send her younger son in the next couple of years. She explained that Thai temples in Germany provided many classes for Thai immigrants and their children, such as Thai cooking, Thai dancing, fruit/ vegetable crafting, and the Thai language. Rose admitted that she expected her

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sons to interact and indirectly learn Thai manners from other Thai people rather than study the Thai language. Rose did not expect her son to be fluent in speaking Thai, instead she mostly focused on the environment and the cultural learning spaces for her sons based on Thai culture. “I teach Thai language to my kids. For the older one, I applied to the Thai language class at the Thai temple for him. He studies there every Sunday. The teachers are Thai people who have teaching experience, so I trust their capacity to teach. Also, he will learn the culture and manners of Thai people from the teachers and monks there as well. After the class, the monks often teach children about Buddhist living principles, Thai culture related to Buddhism, but mainly the gratitude culture. They teach how to behave toward parents, how to reciprocate, how to be a good person based on Buddhism’s instruction. I think it is good to teach them since they are very young, so they become familiar with it and culturally accept it as they are Thai people.”

Other members of the focus group interview who had children revealed that they also supported their children to attend the Thai language class at the Thai temple. Their main intention was to create an opportunity for their children to learn Buddhism and be around Thai people. Above all, they mentioned that their children learn the gratitude culture far more effectively from the Thai monks and teachers than from them. Interviewee A: “It is not easy to teach the kids everything about being Thai. I sent them to study some classes at the Thai temple at the weekend. There are many classes that they can learn for free. My kids study the Thai language, Thai dancing, and play with other Thai-German kids there every Sunday. It helps them a lot to grow up to be Thai kids. The monks there often teach them about the parent-child relationship, about gratitude, and karma.” Interviewee B: “Yes, I think it is very helpful. I think my daughter understands the meaning of the gratitude culture from the monks as well. I never know how to explain the definition of gratitude culture (laugh). I know what it is, but it is hard to explain in words.” Interviewee C: “(Laughs) me too. I only know I need to take care of my parents, but I cannot answer when my son asks me what it is and why I need to give money to my parents. Without Thai monks and teachers, I don’t think I can explain this to my son.” Interviewee A: “You see. We may think Thai temples are useless, but they are not. When you have a child, they are very helpful to teach your child about the Thai culture that you are unable to teach. And many Thai people who volunteer to teach are very nice. They are good teachers.” Interviewee C: “And the kids have their friends there too. My son has many nice friends from his Thai language class.”

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The Thai monk from Thai temple in Stuttgart, Germany, provided his opinion on teaching Thai culture to children. He explained that it is more efficient for children to learn the culture at a young age, both in theory and practice. He encouraged Thai mothers in Germany, who desired to educate their children in Thai culture and manners, to teach their children at an early age. He added that the environment was also a very important factor to shape children’s behaviors, so he often recommended Thai mothers to bring their children to the temple to meet and chat with the monks and Thai people. “It is important to teach children about our culture, religion, manners, and the way of living when they are very young. Temple here is not only for inheriting Buddhism and arranging the Buddhist activities, but it is also for preserving our Thai culture and traditions as well. I always tell Thai mothers here to bring their kids to the temple when we have events, so the kids will learn our traditions. Like gratitude culture, it is important to teach the kids that showing gratitude to parents is necessary; otherwise, they will earn bad karma without noticing. It is the parents’ duty to educate the kids. But many parents have no time. They have to work for money. Many Thai women here need to send money home, so they asked Thai monks to help them raise their kids, to teach Thai culture, language, and manners to their kids. Look around, it is like a small school at the weekend. We have Thai language class, Thai dancing, meditation, and a playground for kids. The environment here will help the kids absorb Thai culture effectively.”

In the interview, Oscar admitted that he learned about the gratitude culture and how to behave toward his parents based on Thai manners from Thai temple events and classes rather than learning from his mother. Oscar explained that he learned from his mother that providing money was a normal and appropriate behavior which the children did for parents. Meanwhile, Thai monks taught him about gratitude in terms of karma effect and the way of reciprocation. “I learn many things at the temple. I can speak Thai. I know Thai kings, history. I learned that children need to be nice to parents. I learn about Bun-Baab (karma). Err…I know what Ka-Tun-Yu (gratitude belief) is. I know that Thai people are serious about it. I think it is good. Parents are important to us. It is normal for us to help them, taking care of them when they can’t work. I believe that Bun-Baab is real.”

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Conclusion and Recommendation

9.1

Conclusion of the Research

Thai migrant wives and remittances are a central topic when it comes to the study of Thai female migrants in Germany. The remittance practice of Thai migrant wives has appeared as one of the significant conflicts among ThaiGerman spouses for a very long time. The issue of sending remittance to their homeland has been confirmed by findings from previous studies which are mostly related to their natal family’s financial insufficiency. Poverty was revealed as a major reason that enforced Thai migrant wives in Germany to send remittances to their natal family after they married and moved to Germany to settle down with their marriage family (Hambeek, 1994; Chantavanich, et al., 2001; Ruenkaew, Kremkrut and Kanchai, 2001; Mix & Piper, 2003; Ruenkaew, 2003; 2009; 2014; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Pomsema, Yodmalee, & Lao-Akka, 2015; Sinsuwan, 2017). The idea of remittances as a form of economical support of Thai migrant wives towards their natal family is strengthened by findings from recent studies concerning an incoming wave of a new generation of Thai female migrants who came from families with a superior financial status, had obtained a higher education, and had a decent previous career before migrating to Germany. This group of Thai migrant wives did not send remittances to their natal family because it was not necessary, given their family’s financial status, unlike the older generation of Thai migrant wives who came from poor families (Ruenkaew, 2014; Sinsuwan, 2017). As sending remittances appeared to cause serious conflicts between Thai-German married couples, previous studies suggested that Thai female married migrants terminate their remittance practice after marrying and moving to Germany (Chantavanich, et al., 2001; Ruenkaew, 2009; 2014; Sinsuwan, 2017). © The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Fachmedien Wiesbaden GmbH, part of Springer Nature 2023 K. Haklin, Remittance of Thai Female Marriage Migrants in Germany, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-658-41686-7_9

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Undoubtedly, the remittance practice of Thai migrant wives concretely concerns their financial support towards their natal family. However, the question is ‘is it only this financial aspect that drives Thai migrant wives to remit to their natal family?’ when there are many determinants that can influence the remittance decision of migrants (Funkhouser, 1995; Taylor, 1999). This study investigated the question of ‘why’ Thai migrant wives decided to send remittances to their natal family, viewed from different angles, including the financial factor and ‘how’ their remittances practice affected both their natal and marriage family relationships. This study analyzed the reasons for remitting and its impact by focusing on the perspectives and experiences of Thai migrant wives through their life stories. The aim was to better understand the participants’ remitting reasons, intentions, and expectations on their decision and behavior along with the impact of their remitting action on their family relationship and how they handled it. The findings of this study are not consistent with previous research in certain crucial aspects (Chantavanich, et al., 2001; Ruenkaew, Kremkrut and Kanchai, 2001; Mix & Piper, 2003; Ruenkaew, 2003; 2009; 2014; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Pomsema, Yodmalee, & Lao-Akka, 2015; Sinsuwan, 2017). Firstly, my results evidently show that sending remittances is not only confined to Thai migrant wives who come from families with a low financial status but is common across all backgrounds. All informants, whether from families with superior or inferior financial status, sent remittances to their natal family. Secondly, the financial aspect seemed not to be the main reason that enforced Thai migrant wives to send remittances to their natal family. Thirdly, it seemed very certain that terminating their remittance practice was not an option for Thai migrant wives. The results clarified that Thai migrant wives prioritized their remittance practice above all. Thus, they would not terminate their remittance in order to avoid conflicts with their German partners. Indeed, when it comes to the topic of remittances, it easily prompts an explanation that purely concerns money matters. However, the act of remittance among Thai married migrants is not simply driven by economic motives. According to the results of this study, financial factors appeared to be the least significant motivator that influenced Thai migrant wives to remit to their natal family, including those from poor families. The most important motivation that influenced Thai migrant wives to send remittances to their natal family appeared to be their own cultural belief, which is known as the ‘gratitude culture’. The act of remitting among Thai migrant wives is not automatic, but it has been underpinned by culture, traditions, norms, and family rituals. This is demonstrated by the fact the Thai migrant wives had been providing monetary support to their parents long before they married and moved to Germany, as prompted by the gratitude culture.

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All informants believed in this culture and behaved according to its practices. In their decent way of living, providing money to parents is an ordinary practice based on cultural norms, just as providing caregiving to parents. They perceived remittance as a form of cultural gratitude recognition and reciprocation which they honestly believed was necessary for them to continue throughout their life. Remittance also acted as an indicator of their affection and care towards their natal family, particularly their parents, given the long-distance relationship. In this aspect, I found a strong correlation between the gratitude culture and intimate expression of Thai migrant wives and their natal family. Being grateful and properly reciprocating are regarded as a way of showing love and care towards parents among Thai families in general. In order to secure a solid bond with their natal family, remittance was the only solution for them to express their gratitude and emotional attachment to their natal family while they lived in Germany. Regarding the financial aspect, remittance as financial support was mentioned the least among Thai migrant wives in this study. Only Thai women who came from families with a low financial status referred to it as one of their remitting reasons, but it was still not the main motivation that determined them to maintain their remitting practice. As the remittance practice is strongly bound to matters of culture and affection rather than finance, Thai migrant wives were powerfully compelled to maintain their remitting after migrating to Germany. My findings show that remittance was the very first negotiation topic that Thai migrant wives decided to discuss with their German spouses, instead of negotiating about their own living situation and conditions in the new country. In this regard, my findings are in accordance with previous studies that identify remittance as a serious source of conflict among Thai-German couples (Hambeek, 1994; Chantavanich, et al., 2001; Ruenkaew, Kremkrut and Kanchai, 2001; Mix & Piper, 2003; Ruenkaew, 2003; 2009; 2014; Duangkumnerd, 2009; Pomsema, Yodmalee, & Lao-Akka, 2015; Sinsuwan, 2017). The results clearly show that remittance is truly a problematic issue in marriage relationships among Thai-German spouses. It was revealed that the conflict typically begins as soon as the wives bring up the subject of remittance requirement to their German husbands and continues to be a central issue in their married lives. To a lesser extent, this study also examined the German husbands’ perspectives on remittance, but this was not the main purpose of the study. Nevertheless, I found that German husbands thought of remittances simply as a financial burden on their marriage family. Although many did not send remittances to their Thai wife’s family, they considered the money that their wife remitted as a part of their shared income within the marriage family. It was not the remittances themselves

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which affected the marriage relationship but the conflicting perspectives towards the meaning and value of the remitting practice among Thai-German couples. The German husbands certainly failed to recognize their Thai wife’s happiness at performing a decent daughter’s duty towards her parents. The remittance conflict helps us to understand the reality of Thai-German bi-cultural relationships and highlights the lack of understanding and accepting of different cultures between spouses. Remittances clearly appeared to be an unsolvable issue among the ThaiGerman couples as the expectations and requirements between Thai wives and their German husbands were incompatible. As there was no satisfactory agreement on the remitting topic between wife and husband, remittances seemingly led to further fractures and disturbances within their marriage relationship. Regarding the solidity of their marriage relationship, the remitting conflict deprived spouses of romantic intimacy and trust. Thai migrant wives often considered their husband’s opposition to remitting as indicating a lack of respect for their culture, as a form of disrespect of their natal family, and as marginalizing their right and feelings. Their feelings for their husband would decrease and they began to have a stronger cultural sense of their role as a daughter and reciprocator. German husbands regarded their wives’ demanding of remittances as destroying the sanctity and authenticity of their marriage. They started to question their wife’s marriage motive, suspecting that it was purely to obtain financial benefits, which in turn led them not to trust their wives in managing household finances. Many of them did not even share economic information with their wife, such as their income, tax, debts, or monthly expenditure. The remittance conflict concretely restructured marriage relationship patterns and boundaries when the consequences of emotions were translated to actions. I found that both husband and wife tried to solve this conflict but the solution that they expected was only based on their own demands and expectations, which certainly failed to manage the problem. The incompatibility of remittance solutions between Thai wives and their German husbands provided a strong illustration of how bi-cultural couples attempt to deal with different cultural beliefs and traditions. The Thai-German spouses in this study hardly harmonized with each other’s origin cultures. The only solution that German husbands preferred was to terminate the remittances. However, it was impossible for Thai wives to abandon their remitting. Thai migrant wives considered the cultural indifference and lack of acceptance of their husband to be the source of conflict rather than their beliefs and their natal family’s expectation towards their reciprocation. For them, remittance was without doubt an uncompromisable issue which they prioritized above their life plans, career goals, and even their married life. I discovered that Thai migrant wives eventually gave up their hope to build their happy marriage

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life and were determined to focus on developing and securing a positive bond with their natal family instead. In so doing, Thai migrant wives reoriented their life focus, plans and goals in order to pursue the remitting practice after the refusal of their German husband. Before the remitting argument, all Thai wives in this study planned to find a job, particularly those from a superior background, who expected to build up a new career path in Germany as they had a good educational background and language skills. However, concerns over sending remittances disrupted their objectives. It dominated them, causing them to change and reset their life plans in order to fulfill their remitting duty. The study analyzed how Thai migrant wives managed and adapted their life plans and strategies in response to their husbands’ actions towards the remitting requirement. Differences were found between Thai migrant wives with superior and inferior backgrounds. Thai migrant wives with superior backgrounds tended to abandon their life goal of setting up a new career in Germany and accepted to be a full-time housewife according to their husband’s wishes, treating it as an exchange for remittances. On the other hand, Thai migrant wives with an inferior background decided to rush into searching for a job, did not study the German language and did not adapt themselves into the new society since they failed to require remittances from their husband because of the language barrier. Although they needed to work in order to earn money and remit by themselves, they were enforced to perform housewife duties by their husband with the purpose of securing their marriage visa in Germany. Even though Thai migrant wives succeeded in pursuing their remitting practice by changing their plans and strategies, their new life purposes and goals were more disadvantageous to them in the long term. Thai migrant wives who traded their future career plans for remittances with their husband ended up having limited social circles, were vulnerably dependent on their husband in terms of living and finances, and felt less empowered within their marriage family. They tended to feel insecure and depressed with their marriage life. In contrast, Thai wives who were enforced to handle the remittances by themselves had a better living pattern in many respects, such as their married life, living conditions, social connections, as well as their remitting capacity. I also found that they could enhance their language, living, and adaptation skills in Germany along with increased social connections through their work. In short, they were able to fit into the new society and have a happier life than Thai women who became full-time housewives. However, these two cases of Thai migrant wives both needed to confront and handle the continuing remittance conflict with their German husbands, who were determined to terminate their remitting.

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The results further revealed that remittances not only affected the natal family and marriage relationship of Thai migrant wives but also had a significant effect on the relationship of both Thai wives and their German husbands with their parents-in-law. It was evident that the Thai-German couples in this study had a negative relationship with their parents-in-law because of the remitting issue. Sending remittances contributed to the negative view of their parents-inlaw towards their son or daughter’s spouses because parents-in-law from both sides shared a similar perspective and expectation towards remittances with their own child, as supported by their own culture, beliefs, and way of living. The issue of parents-in-law was more important than anticipated. Having a negative relationship with parents-in-law can destroy and manipulate a peaceful marriage relationship. Although both Thai wives and German husbands had a negative bond with their parents-in-law, Thai migrant wives received more negative reactions than their German husbands, as they were forced to be close to their parents-in-law both because of their geographical closeness and because of the way they positioned parents-in-law in the family hierarchy according to their culture. Furthermore, the German parents-in-law played an important role in the lives of Thai migrant wives in terms of navigating them into the new society and environment. The remitting issue also caused conflict between them and their German parents-in-law. Thai wives needed to clarify their remitting motives and behavior to their parents-in-law, but it was impossible for German parents-in-law to understand and accept their remitting, in view of cultural practice. The German parents-in-law generalized the remittances of Thai wives as an unpreferable practice which was a disadvantage to the German husband and his marriage family. Thus, they preferred Thai migrant wives to stop sending remittances, just like their husband. Meanwhile, the relationship between the German husbands and their Thai parents-in-law was also strained because of the remittances. Although this study did not have sufficient evidence to clarify the factors that contributed the German husbands’ negative relationship with their Thai parents-in-law, the interviews revealed that German husbands started to have a negative view towards their Thai wife’s parents after the subject of the remitting requirement was raised. The German husbands tended to blame their Thai parents-in-law for the remitting behaviors of their wives as they believed that they had requested the remittances. However, having a loose relationship with their parents-in-law was not a problem for German husbands as they did not perceive their Thai wife’s family as their own from the beginning. Thus, it was bearable for them to have a negative relationship with their Thai wife’s extended family.

9.1 Conclusion of the Research

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Another important investigation in this study was the transmission of the remittance practice from Thai migrant women to their bicultural Thai-German children. The results revealed the emergence of monetary support among ThaiGerman adult children towards their parents, with the motive of expressing their reciprocation and affection, underpinned by the gratitude culture. It appeared that the remittance practice could be inherited from the mother to their offspring. In this respect, it was likely a conceptual action that was governed by cultural beliefs and manners which allowed the parents to transmit such a perspective to their children. As the original motive for remittance is not financial but cultural, it is easily transferred to the next generation in many ways, but the most important driver is believed to be parenting (Richerson and Boyd, 2005). I discovered that Thai-German spouses had harmoniously agreed to raise their children according to Thai culture and manners. Both Thai wives and their German husbands strongly preferred to shape their children according to the Thai style, with the typical set of behaviors including being obedient, respectful, obliging, and polite to their parents. Indeed, they utilized the concept of gratitude culture as the main principle to raise their child and remittance behavior was also passed on to their bicultural children, both tangibly and intangibly. Surprisingly, German husbands supported the idea of raising their children according to the cultural principles of gratitude, even though they were opposed to their Thai wives remitting. I found this position was very strange given their views on and reaction to the remitting practice of their wives. However, my findings only indicated that they preferred the characteristics of Thai children and that they were not opposed to a material reciprocation in the form of money when their child offered it. I found that, during the childrearing process, they fully supported their wife to educate and raise their children in the Thai style, which effectively contributed childrearing strategies and plans. It is surprising that the domination of Thai culture remained so strong through the mother’s encouragement and the father’s support. Although the Thai-German children lived in Germany and were surrounded by German society and traditions, it was not an obstacle to learning and accepting Thai culture. Remittance behavior can be the outcome of learning about and believing in the gratitude culture. This significantly developed and shaped the character, perspective, behavior, and even the life goals the Thai-German children in terms of their behavior towards their parents, including their voluntarily monetary support. As is evident from this study’s investigations, the remittance issue has had a serious impact on many aspects of the lives of Thai migrant wives. It has affected their marriage relationships, natal family bonding, labor work motivation, child

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rearing, and even their life paths in Germany. The strong will to send remittances illustrates the capacity of Thai women to manage the complications and contradictions of remitting demands together with their attempt to be a desirable wife for their husband, an acceptable daughter for their parents-in-law, and a responsible mother for their children. Yet, the different views of remittances remained an obstacle and Thai wives were unable to solve this issue alone. Marriage requires cooperation and support between couples. In particular, when it comes to bi-cultural marriages, not just basic cooperation is required, but also cultural understanding, acceptability, and adaptation between husbands and wives. Remittances will forever be a conflict between Thai-German spouses as long as the cultural issue remains neglected.

9.2

Limitations of the Study

Regarding the limitations of the study, the comprehension of the remittance phenomenon among Thai migrant wives could only be partial, as this study intentionally concentrated on the Thai migrant wives in Germany who were married to German men. This means the findings could not be generalized to Thai migrant wives in other countries. Further, it was not feasible to generalize the findings to Thai migrant wives in Germany who were not married to German men because there were no such participants in this study. Even considering Thai migrant wives in Germany who were married to German men, the analysis could not examine the remittance issue in every dimension, given the complexity of the phenomenon. The small number of informants in this study, necessary due to the methodology and objectives, limits the possibility of reliably generalizing the results to other Thai migrant wives who either had the same or different patterns of living. Another limitation of the study was that the data were primarily acquired from Thai migrant wife informants. This study focused on examining their remittance behavior by investigating their life-stories, experiences, and perspectives. Although this study decided to obtain data from the significant others of Thai migrant wife informants, the information from the involved person was only scoped on the remittance topic. The study also presented the perspectives of German husbands, the parents-in-law, and the bicultural Thai-German children, however the findings were still mainly based on the data of the Thai migrant wife informants. This study therefore emphasizes the Thai migrant wife informants as the core of the study data. Therefore, the data of the involved people could not

9.3 Recommendations for Future Research

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be examined alone without the main data. It is suggested that the findings should be verified with a larger sample. Lastly, regarding the duration of this study, I collected data for over 36 months from June 2016 until June 2019 in order to investigate the development and modification of remittance behaviors of Thai migrant wives, their family relationships, and other possible impacts of their remitting action. However, I discovered that there were a certain number of changes in many dimensions, such as living adjustments, marriage relationship expectations, life goals, and attachment levels towards the natal family due to both internal and external factors during the participants’ lives in Germany and in their marriage relationships. This meant that the obtained results also depended upon the period of time that the Thai migrant wives had lived in Germany, and its duration. These time factors had an influence on the results and needed to be taken into account as an essential matter when studying this phenomenon.

9.3

Recommendations for Future Research

Based on the findings and limitations of this study, several suggestions are provided for future research on the topic of remittances, bi-cultural marriage relationships, and further relevant issues. Regarding the remitting motives of Thai migrant wives in this study, it clearly appeared that culture was the main factor that significantly affected their remitting perspectives and behavior. Meanwhile, the financial aspect showed less impact on the remitting decision and behavior of Thai wives and was only a factor in the case of those from low-socioeconomic families. In view of the results, it is better to re-examine this issue to further enrich our knowledge on this topic in the future. As this study intentionally focused on a small number of Thai migrant women who were married to German men and who had settled in Germany, I would recommend that further research similarly concentrates either on Thai migrant women in Germany with a larger and more diverse sample size to expand the scope of the study or on Thai migrant women in other countries. Both research directions would provide a comprehensive understanding of remittances among Thai migrant women. In addition, I would suggest a further study exploring the remittance behavior among Thai migrant men as well. As the remittance behavior and determinants of Thai migrant wives in Germany were mainly influenced by their cultural beliefs, it may possibly apply not only to Thai women, but also to Thai men. I find the investigation of gender differences on the remitting topic rather scarce in terms of

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the similarities and differences of remittance perspectives, feelings, and behavior towards parents, and with respect to the expectations and requirements among Thai families towards material offerings between daughters and sons. Therefore, I would strongly recommend future research to investigate this assumption so that we can further comprehend this phenomenon from a broader perspective. Another potentially interesting topic to be examined is the role of significant others or involved people who might have an impact on the remittance decision and behavior of Thai migrant wives. In this study, the people who had an impact on the remitting practice of Thai wives included their German husband, children, natal family, and extended marital family. The findings suggested that the remitting action among Thai migrant wives eventually disturbed the lives of the people who were involved with them. Each involved person in this study was affected in different ways, depending on the level of intimacy of their relationship with Thai migrant wives and the extent of their involvement in the remitting decision and behavior. Therefore, it is important to study the role of each involved person towards the remittance decision and behavior patterns of Thai migrant women and specifically to further investigate the impact that they had on Thai migrant wives’ remitting action. In particular, with regard to the bi-cultural children, the results evidently showed that they learnt to provide monetary support towards their parents via the transmission of the gratitude culture and practice from their Thai migrant mother and the voluntary support of their German father. This results suggest that remittance behavior could be inherited from the Thai migrant mother to their bi-cultural children through childrearing and upbringing according to the mother’s origin cultures and beliefs. Unfortunately, the study did not directly focus on the transmission of remittance behavior among the offspring of Thai migrant wives. Thus, the results only provided partial information related to this issue. However, I consider it crucial and necessary to expand the investigation on this issue, so that we can understand the strength of the gratitude culture in the form of parenting among Thai migrant mothers towards their own children, together with important issues such as the reason for transmitting the gratitude culture belief, parenting patterns, and the patterns of bi-cultural child behavior towards their gratitude culture education in connection with both acceptance and adaptation. In addition, the most essential issue to examine is the acceptance of the German fathers to allow their Thai migrant wives to have full responsibility for rearing their children according to Thai manners and culture, of which the gratitude culture is a key value. The bi-cultural marriage relationship is also a topic worth examining. The main concern of the present study was to understand the impact of remittances

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among Thai migrant wives on their bi-cultural marriage relationship, remittances being a source of serious conflict between Thai-German spouses. The impact of the remitting decision and practice of Thai migrant wives in this study affected their marriage relationship in various ways, in particularly, their way of living, by this I mean their self-development in terms of career goals and adaptation into the new society by learning the German language and culture. I would highly recommend further research to specifically examine this issue in order to intensively understand the role and importance of remittances based on the perspectives and decision-making of Thai migrant women. Another issue concerning bi-cultural marriage that I consider essential to further investigate is the capacity and resilience for Thai-German spouses to accept each other’s cultural identities. Based on the findings of this study, the topic of remittances appeared to be a controversial topic among Thai-German married couples mainly due to misconception and incomprehension in terms of cultural identity. The results showed that the German husbands and their families rejected the remitting practice of Thai wives mostly because it was an unfamiliar concept to them. I find it important to understand the dynamics of bi-cultural marriage relations in connection with cultural adaptation and compromise, along with the impact of disharmony within their marital relation caused by each other’s expectations and the expectations of each natal family. Such an investigation would provide insights into the dynamics of bi-cultural relationship. Additionally, the findings revealed to a lesser extent the relevance of context on the marital relationships of Thai-German spouses. They showed that, in general, the German husbands in this study knew about Thai culture, including the remittance practice of Thai women, before they decided to marry, but they were seriously opposed to their wife’s remitting demand even when the money had been earnt by her. As the study did not intensively focus on the perspective of the German husband, the corresponding data was too limited to make relevant conclusions as to their reasons, attitudes, and feelings towards their wife’s remittances. I believe this issue needs to be clarified. Furthermore, another issue related to the bi-cultural marriage relationship between Thai-German married couples is marital power. The results distinctly show that all Thai migrant wives, whether they are full-time housewives or they have a job, had less power within their marriage family. By this, I refer to various dimensions in the marital relationship such as decision-making, problem-solving, financial management, or even visiting the natal family in Thailand. Based on the findings, it is evident that all Thai wives decided to obey their German husband because of their remitting practice. In this study, the compromise of Thai wives

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to their German husband arose for two main reasons. The first was the expectation and demand of the German husband towards their Thai wife in terms of duty and behavior. The second aspect was inherent in the fact that Thai migrant wives wanted to maintain their remittances to their parents. Their obedience to their German husband appeared to be a compromise for their husband’s remitting permission. Regarding this issue in the bi-cultural marital relationship, I find it crucial to acquire more knowledge from the German husband’s standpoint. I believe it would enhance our knowledge of Thai-German marriage relationships if we had a better understanding of the husband’s marital motives, expectations, reality, and management of their relationship. Another issue worth examining is the benefit that German husbands received from their Thai migrant wife in terms of financial support when they visited Thailand, along with land and property from their wife’s parents. Regarding financial benefits during visits to Thailand, the findings revealed that it mostly applied to the German men who had married Thai migrant women from superior socioeconomical families. However, nearly all Thai-German couples received property from the wife’s parents, either as a gift or as a legacy. Thai parents provided land and property to their migrant daughter because they expected her to return and re-settle in Thailand with her marital family after her husband’s retirement. Interestingly, this benefit from the Thai wife’s parents is often well-suited to the German husband’s plans as most of the German husbands in this study intended to move and settle in Thailand after their retirement. As the study did not intensively focus on this issue, the understanding of this subject is only partial. Thus, I would recommend further research to examine this topic in order to comprehend how German husbands’ retirement plans fit into their marriage motives, particularly with Thai wives, and how this shapes the relationship between son-in-law and their Thai parents-in-law.

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