NLP Magick: Making Change Possible

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NLP MAGICK Marcus Katz

DEDICATION To the New Age Discussion Group, Geneva, Switzerland, 1988 1989.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I would like to thank Dr. Charlotte Venkatraman for much encouragement and advice throughout this book, in addition to proofreading and suggestion of additional material. I would like to acknowledge and thank all those clients who have worked with me and their courage and patience to elegantly prepare for, work through, or recover from, significant life-change. I would like to thank Brina for typing up hundreds of sheets of flipchart notes and diagrams from my workshops and transcribing case histories for the vignettes in this book. This book and the changes made in so many lives would not have been possible without the pioneering work of Richard Bandler, John Grinder, Stephen Gilligan, Doug O’Brien, Robert Dilts, Edwin C. Steinbrecher, and all those others who told stories of the other world – the world which we can change. Finally, I would like to acknowledge all those NLP and Hypnotherapy students who have attended personal training or workshops with me in the most unlikely of times and venues. This is the workbook. This is the work. And by our work, we are changed.

Published by Forge Press, Keswick, 2020. © Copyright Marcus Katz, 2020. NLP Magick® is a registered Trademark. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, [email protected].

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A Note on Copyright and Intellectual Property I have taken the heart of this book from my notes and teaching material over thirty years and have always tried to cite any intellectual or original sources, even where they were not originally provided to me. Some of this material has also been altered in actual practice. I have also drawn from many sources outside the usual realms of NLP. If, for any reason, I have failed to cite a source or give proper acknowledgement to an idea, I would be glad to remove it or provide corrected details in any future edition of this work. I can be contacted via [email protected].

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Marcus Katz was introduced to NLP in 1988 during his time offering Inner Guide Meditation workshops to a New Age Discussion group in Geneva, Switzerland. He immediately became fascinated by the application of NLP to creative writing and the relation of NLP to western esotericism, leading to a life-time work. He writes from personal experience, with several thousand hours of work with private clients and hundreds of hours teaching workshops. Marcus is an NLP Trainer with the Society of NLP, having completed the NLP Practitioner, Master Practitioner and Trainers courses in London with the Society of NLP over a period of three years 2003 - 2006. His NLP and Hypnotherapy training has included in-person courses with Richard Bandler, John Grinder, Doug O’Brien, Stephen Gilligan, and Paul McKenna. He received training in Hypnotherapy (GHSC validated) from the Tara School of Hypnotherapy in Liverpool where he went on to offer an NLP module for two years. He was introduced to Clean Language in the White Magic course by Wendy Sullivan. He has trained both NLP Practitioners and Master Practitioners and was the first to integrate NLP into the practise of tarot card reading in his ground-breaking book, Tarosophy (2011). Marcus has authored and co-authored over fifty books on divination and the Western Esoteric Initiatory System including the award-winning Around the Tarot in 78 Days (Llewellyn, 2012) and the best-selling Secrets of the Waite-Smith Tarot (Llewellyn, 2015), both co-authored with Tali Goodwin. He has contributed pieces to Jesus Through Pagan Eyes (Llewellyn, 2012), Tarot Fundamentals, Tarot Experience and Tarot Compendium (Lo Scarabeo, 2015 2018) and the Llewellyn Complete Book of Ceremonial Magic (2020).

He holds hypnotherapy sessions and NLP training in person, having trained many diverse students including therapists, dentists, doctors, horse whisperers, art designers, photographers, and helicopter pilots. Marcus holds a post-graduate Diploma in Management Studies (DMS) from the University of Derby, an MBA from the University of Central Lancashire, and an MA in Western Esotericism from the University of Exeter. He worked for thirty years as an Information Technology manager in private, public, and educational settings worldwide. He now lives in the Lake District of England. Website: www.nlpmagick.com Email: [email protected]

INTRODUCTION “You are not the first hypnotist on the scene” - Doug O’ Brien. In this book we will learn the basic foundations of NLP Magick, a selection of methods for building powerful and elegant communication. This material can be utilised in the context of counselling and hypnotherapy - from which NLP itself was derived or in any therapeutic approach, change-work, presentation, teaching or personal coaching. It can also be used in conversation or what we might call “bar work”, that is, when you only have a few minutes at the bar with someone, waiting for drinks, and they provide opportunity for change-work to occur in that context. If you could only say one thing - the right thing - what will it be? What might help determine the right thing? NLP Magick is also intended to improve your listening and observation skills by providing a model of how we model the world; namely, in terms of our value and beliefs, actions and behaviour, sense of time and space, and self-identity. When we see the world through this model, we might learn a different way of communicating powerful change - in ourselves and others. The realisation that we are carrying the world around in our head is a somewhat startling state to comprehend. Our parents are not physically present in every moment of our adult life and yet their patterns persist in our psyche throughout our every decision and action. The cultural norms we inherit by accident of birth (both in time and place) screen the reality which is presented to us every moment. When we close our eyes, we find that we can create imagined scenarios of both the past and the future that have such reality they can change our entire physical, psychological, mental, and emotional state. Most importantly, this reality map is not only our reality, but it shapes our behaviour in reality.

We are the product of not only the influence of other people throughout our personal history but also our own self since the time we automatically created that self in a form of mental introjection. In fact, we formed that sense of identity by the very mechanism of mental introjection. We are the mechanism. We are the hypnotist. We have further been hypnotised countless times by everyone we have ever met - and many people whom we have never met. We literally become that by which we surround ourselves. We have become so good at it that we no longer remember how we do it to ourselves or when we are doing it. We just do it. Even now, in the voice that you are reading these words out in. Doing it. So, how do we change this hypnosis to better respond to our world? What impact does our communication have with other people? What is hypnosis, hypnotherapy and NLP? What utility do they have in the everyday world? How can they be used to resolve issues in life? In this book, I will lay out the most useful applications and methods I have learnt over three decades of a passionate interest in the subject. I have tested out these methods, researched, and applied them in a range of personal and professional settings. This passion took me to unexpected places and to unexpected discoveries; about myself and about how other people can come to create change in their lives. This is my first book on NLP, despite the subject being the framework of much of my other work and books in worlds such as tarot, western esotericism, and hypnotherapy. As such, this is a very personal book which will have a more personal tone. Whilst I maintain that NLP and Hypnotherapy are best - and far more readily - taught in person, this book aims to provide a guidebook and

manual for those who might not be able to attend workshops or 1:1 training. Some twenty or more years after first being introduced to NLP, I looked to move into a full-time career as an NLP practitioner and hypnotherapist. I clocked hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars over the next ten years attending workshops and seminars, study groups and home groups, conferences and 1:1 training on the subject. I retrieved old tapes and recordings of the founding figures of the NLP tradition, and replayed - hundreds of times - the growing online video footage of masters of the craft. And then, after those further ten years, when I was trained and ready, I had my first client. And it all fell apart. Another fifteen years later, having changed my mind at least twenty times about the subject, I feel comfortable sharing a record of my experiences, the lessons I learnt from many gifted practitioners in the field, and the work of my clients, in order that it might prove useful to others who seek to change their own mind, and perhaps encourage others to do so. I call my approach NLP Magick for several reasons, primarily because of my long-standing work in Western Esotericism. However, there is a significant overlap of the interests of esoteric work - the way in which we relate to reality - and the study of the mechanism of the mind; Magick is here defined as the “art and science of causing change to occur in conformity with Will”.[1] I would like to thank all my clients and students for bearing with me, experimenting with me, experiencing with me, and their courage and patience in constantly changing - hopefully, towards a more consistent, comprehensive, and congruent consciousness.

Marcus Katz.

A Note on Terminology For simplicity, I have used the terms; hypnosis, hypnotic-state, hypnotised, trance-state, trance-like state, and altered state reasonably interchangeably. I have used therapist and client as a standard labelling of roles, but these can usually be taken to refer to any relationship in communication. For transparency, I may have embedded a selection of language patterns in particular text describing those patterns, but have not used “by now, you, like me, may be wondering…” other than once here as an example of how not to use NLP.[2] I have also changed names where used, so the name Samantha could be referring to any individual, including the reader. A Note on Vignettes I have also used the terms therapist and client to maintain consistency throughout these fifty or so vignettes and altered certain non-significant information to further preserve client anonymity whilst remaining relatively true to the case and encounter, and particularly true to the technique. The cases in vignettes are used with client permission and the majority represent a selection of sessions or personal encounters over a period of fifteen years of practice in various settings, generally in a rural location and marketing as an NLP-based hypnotherapist.

ROUTES THROUGH THIS BOOK Whilst encouraging all readers to read as they will, here are a few suggested signposts to watch out for along the way to suit your own journey. As NLP can be a grab-bag of techniques and terminology, I have provided exercises at the end of the book and some throughout, which may help point out useful methods and learning throughout the book. These can be started at any time. Hypnotherapy & NLP This book is primarily aimed at those looking to use techniques and approaches within the context of hypnotherapy and NLP, so it can be read in a relatively linear order. I would suggest concentration on the Milton Model and Induction Methods, particularly the Very Simple Trance Format (for beginners), the Betty Erickson Technique (my go-to method over the years) and Fractionation. NLP Students This book constitutes a Practitioner course syllabus, with selected elements of the Master Practitioner level material, as listed by the Society of NLP. I would direct students particularly to the Meta/Milton Model and Language Patterns. The Master Practitioner work tends to concentrate on the areas of belief change, presentation skills and modelling, to which you can also direct your attention in this book. Business & Sales In terms of straight NLP training for business, sales and marketing, much of this book covers my own syllabus for NLP Practitioner which is matched mainly to the Society of NLP core syllabus. It also covers some aspects of the Master Practitioner work, being time/space, belief change and - most notably modelling. The language patterns are core work, and often the

hypnotherapy utilisations are given in the context of practising language patterns, so should be taken in that context. You may also find useful the work on values and the Disney Creativity Model. Creative Writing & Creativity The use of language patterns to change state is an obvious requisite for creative writing. You may also find of use the narrative patterns of embedded metaphors and the use of anchoring to elicit and trigger creative states. The Disney Creativity Model is a useful pattern for thinking outside the box. Self-Development Using these methods, you may be able to discern more of your own patterns revealed in language and communication. I would particularly recommend considering your time/space model and meta-patterns, and work on self-hypnosis methods to better manage your own state at will. You may also enjoy auditing your own anchors and accordingly changing your environment. Tarot Reading As some readers may be coming to this book from my work in divination and esotericism, there are many specific methods that will assist you both elicit and provide deeper communication during divination. I would suggest the Meta-Model for getting to the heart of the client question and the Milton Model for making deeper suggestions for change in your clients. I would also recommend the sections on Metaphor and Story-Telling for weaving into your divinations. Tarosophy and Tarosophy Squared both contain unique tarot reading methods built from the NLP found within this present book. Western Esotericism Those coming to this work from my work in Western Esotericism will here find much of the initiatory work of Yesod, Hod and - to some

extent - Netzach. These tools and approaches, particularly the therapeutic triangle, can be modelled to the Tree of Life and the methods of those grades, in particular Theoricus and Practicus. This work is “of the Sun” (Atu XIX) in providing a clarity and demonstration of the nature of the unconscious (Yesod) in part preparation for the completion of this realisation in Tiphareth. Hypnotherapy, and all forms of counselling and therapy, provide an essential component of the process of solution (of identity) in Yesod. We also realise in NLP how much of the Universe is our own model, as we see as early as Robert Fludd, De praeternaturali utriusque mundi historia (1621), in which we see a diagram of the human head collating the different worlds of the mundus sensibilis, imaginabilis and intellectualis through the five senses, mediated in awareness. I would also direct esoteric students to the work of Psychosynthesis, which is to be covered from an initiatory perspective in the Magister Vol. 2 which also covers the history and relationship of psychotherapy, hypnosis, and western esotericism.[3]

Contents FOUNDATIONAL CONCEPTS Brief Histories NLP History Hypnotism & Psychoanalysis On Diagnosis and Definition The Virginia Satir Touchstone Common Pre-Suppositions of NLP Incorporation & Utilisation Types of Hypnotherapy The Therapeutic Triangle REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEMS Representational Systems Verbal Predicates Eye Accessing Cues Mirroring and Matching Mirroring Matching Pacing & Leading LANGUAGE PATTERNS Language Patterns The Meta Model and the Milton Model Language Patterns META MODEL MILTON MODEL Ericksonian Language Patterns Single and Double Binds Universals & Specifics Game HYPNOSIS & INDUCTIONS Basic Induction Protocol Pivot Grammar Linking Words The Most Basic Hypnotic Pattern (T+T+S) The VSTF (Very Simple Trance Format)

Expectation Setting Causal Connections Clanging Interspersal Ambiguity INDUCTION PATTERNS The Betty Erickson Technique Multiple Frames of Relaxation Breathing Thoughts Triangle Technique Rossi Fail-Safe Method Induction Variations Vogt’s Fractionation Post Hypnotic Suggestions POSITIVE OUTCOME FRAMES The Radio Cumbria Pattern Positive State List The Way-In Word The Way-Out Word The Trans-Derivational Search The Magic Wand Technique Positive Outcome Frame RAPPORT & ELICITATION Rapport: Mirroring, Pacing, Leading Anchors Away My Anchors Stacking Anchors Sliding Anchors Chaining Anchors Collapsing Anchors Eliciting a Model through a Life-Swap VALUES & BELIEFS Value Elicitation Beliefs Time/Value Audit The Will Sheet Sleight of Mouth Patterns

The Belief Change Cycle TIME/SPACE WORK Time/Space Work In-Time and Through-Time Time/Space Work Nostalgia Pattern Willed Reminiscence Pattern META PATTERNS [SELF IMAGE] Meta-Patterns [Self Image Work] GENERAL TECHNIQUES Formal n-Step Reframing Swish Pattern Circle of Excellence Zink’s Spinning Icons Existential Embodiments SPECIFIC ISSUES & TECHNIQUES Disney Model Pain Management Smoking Cessation Panic Attacks and General Anxiety Gambling Weight Management Stage or Presentation Anxiety Inner Child Work Phobias Theatre/Cinema Method Reverse Spin Method Phobia Treatment Summary NLP in Sales METAPHORS Creating an Isomorphic Metaphor The Multiple Embedded Metaphor Embodied Metaphors Meta-Fives MODELLING Modelling Representing a Model

Quick Modelling CLEAN LANGUAGE The Nine Basic Clean Questions Clean Language and Stress CREATIVE THINKING A Further Tool for Creative Thinking PROFESSIONAL PRACTICE Committee of Advertising Practice Code Contraindications to Hypnosis Client Notes Session Self-Review EXERCISES Exercises Language Exercises Similes and Metaphor Exercises Client Case Exercises CONCLUSION Field, Form and Fate NLP Haiku Conclusion READING LISTS Reading Lists List of Abbreviations Glossary Bibliography Notes

FOUNDATIONAL CONCEPTS

Brief Histories In the old days, the best interpreters - of oracles, of the riddles of existence, of how birds sang and how they flew - knew the greatest part of interpretation was not to interfere but to simply watch, and listen, and allow the things observed to reveal their meaning. - Peter Kingsley, In the Dark Places of Wisdom. NLP is a set of models and methods that use language, both verbal and non-verbal, to discover and change our internal representation of the world. Although it is modelled on the powerful language of therapists and hypnotherapists, it is presented in sets of concepts and techniques that can be adopted by anyone engaged in change-work or communication. The creation of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is credited to Richard Bandler and John Grinder. They worked with each other during 1974 - 1979 to model the methods of several therapists; Milton H. Erickson, a renowned medical doctor and practitioner of hypnotherapy, Virginia Satir, a gifted family therapist, and Fritz Perls, the founder of Gestalt therapy. Their story is told in several books, and by verbal recollection, with a common theme of continual experimentation. Bandler brought a “programming” mentality to his observations of counselling and therapy, whilst Grinder analysed the “linguistics” of the same encounters. Their first books were titled “the structure of magic”, as they proposed the books offered a model for change-work that captured the “magic” of gifted practitioners - and by these programs - models of language, anyone could learn and replicate the magic of therapy.

They explicitly evoke the wonder of magic and quote a piece from The Magus by John Fowles in the preface to their first book. The language patterns presented are entitled “incantations for growth and potential” and deem the work “one resource for a sorcerer’s apprentice”.[4] So, what was the bedrock of this new system of magical language?

NLP History The history of NLP might be considered as a convoluted series of relay races in which there have been several batons, teams and races played at the same time. Ultimately, there is no clear winner, nor, in consideration, even an identifiable competition. The emergence of NLP from the observation and modelling of hypnosis and counselling is somewhat parallel to the earlier emergence from hypnosis of psychoanalysis. The popular awareness of NLP as a therapeutic construct continues to run alongside that of hypnosis as a form of entertainment. Modern-day practitioners of NLP and hypnosis continue to pace this relay; Paul Mckenna is known as both a stage hypnotist and a trainer of NLP, with one of its two main co-founders, Richard Bandler. The magician Derren Brown has been associated with NLP concepts as part of his magical act.[5] The inspirational speaker and motivational guru, Tony Robins, was inspired by his meeting with John Grinder, the other main co-founder of NLP, and credits him as his second most important mentor, stating that NLP modelling led to his own “no.1 secret”, being that “success leaves clues”.[6] In this book, I would like to suggest books for further reading on the history of hypnosis, NLP and psychotherapy, whilst briefly introducing the main points of this strange relay race. At least, where we can see that the baton was passed, or it can be briefly seen in the hand. We will look at early traces of hypnotism in antiquity, the development of mesmerism in France, the development of psychotherapy and clinical hypnosis, then the modelling work of Bandler and Grinder to create NLP from the work of Milton H. Erickson, Virginia Satir and Fritz Perls, amongst other gifted therapists. Hypnosis in Antiquity

There is little solid evidence of hypnosis in antiquity, however, we can discern descriptions of trance-like states being present in early magical papyri and classical divination accounts.[7] There are several biblical descriptions of healing or miracles than have also been termed cases of hypnosis. Unfortunately, there is nothing conclusive to state that what we now call hypnotism was present in the same way during early history or antiquity. Our first accounts of hypnotism - as we know it - derive from France in the 1770’s, with the practices of Franz Anton Mesmer (1734 - 1815). But there was an earlier development of importance, which was the concept of the “unconscious”, one of the most significant breakthroughs in the understanding of human behaviour. Naturphilosophie Whilst the notion of an unconscious is connected in popular imagination with the work of C. G. Jung (1875 - 1961), his work was shaped by the German philosophy of Naturphilosophie, particularly the work of Carl G. Carus (1789 - 1869). The fundamental doctrines of this “natural philosophy” sets the field for all psychotherapy and notions of the unconscious mind. In fact, according to Antoine Faivre, a leading academic in the field of Western Esotericism, “Jung may be considered as the last major representative of Naturphilosophie”.[8] This philosophy, synthesising extant thinking ranging from Christian Theosophy to animal magnetism, drew also from French Naturalism, the metaphysics of Kant and Fichte, and Spinozan Philosophy. Out of these streams flowed a single river of thinking, encompassing the concepts of: Nature having a history of a mythical order, i.e., the world is engaged in a process of an extremely dramatic character. In this context, the importance of knowing our self and our place in the world becomes a fundamental concern.

The ‘philosophy of identity’ (viz. Schelling), i.e., the relationship of Nature and Spirit, that Spirit becomes Nature, and Nature becomes spiritualized. This relationship speaks to contemporary ecological concerns, and at the time underpinned the research of Naturphilosophen Baader, Schubert and Kerner in mesmerism, animal magnetism and dreams.

Nature is a living net of correspondences to be deciphered and integrated into a holistic worldview. In this context we can set our search to understand the unconscious, our self, and our connection to the world as being of primary necessity. Similarly, we will later come to see how this original viewpoint eventually comes full circle to the ideas of ‘field, form and fate’ with Jungian synchronicity, neurobiology, quantum mechanics and esoteric principles. Although popular in the late 18th to early 19th centuries, after about sixty years this current faded away in the 1850’s. However, Naturphilosophie left a legacy in both its approach and its constellation of concerns to later thinkers such as Rudolf Steiner (1861 - 1925) and Jung. More importantly, the concept of the unconscious from Naturphilosophie represents the historical origin of psychoanalysis, leading from works such as Carl Carus’s Psyche: Entwicklungsgeschite der Seele (Psyche: The Developmental History of the Soul, 1846) and Schubert’s Die Symbolik des Traums (Symbolism of Dreams, 1814).[9] Carus developed the idea of the unconscious within the Naturphilosophie framework, in a position James Hillman refers to as psychological idealism, avoiding the contextualisation of psychology as an empirical science or idealism as philosophical metaphysics (Kant, Fichte, Hegel).[10] Carus wrote:

The light of consciousness shines – in a manner to be discussed later – and illuminates the area within us. Light makes us aware of the darkness of the night.[11] It is to illuminate this darkness – the unconscious – that we require techniques to encourage self-knowledge and improvement of the self to fulfil its place in the ‘mythic history’ of Nature.[12] The Nancy School and the technique of Suggestion In addition to the arising of the idea of the unconscious, the technique of suggestion, arising from Mesmer’s work with ‘animal magnetism’, is a primary thread crossing between esoteric thought and psychology. The notion of magical influence, strengthening the Will, and developing the conscious mind by suggesting concepts – via verbalisation or symbology – to the unconscious, through imagination, underpin many methods in both schools. This relationship is clearly seen when, for example, discussing self-suggestion, the author and physician Edwin Ash, writes in 1906, “There can be no more powerful means of backing up and rendering efficacious simple suggestion than by a religious ceremony”.[13] The development of self-suggestion follows Mesmer, with Abbe Faria, a colourful character, actually Jose Custodio de Faria (17461819), who took Mesmer’s initial work and brought to it a scientific viewpoint, soon dismissing the theory of ‘animal magnetism’ and introducing the idea of suggestion as the primary actor in the process. It was this work that Ambroise-Auguste Liebault (18231904) built upon as he founded the Nancy School in the city of Nancy in 1866. Hippolyte Bernheim (1840 - 1919), a professor from the University of Nancy, and at first a doubter of the techniques being employed at the School, to treat digestion, health, and circulation ailments, joined the School where he conducted clinics with Liebault[14]. Bernheim was instrumental in overturning the previously

held notion of hypnosis as a hysteria-like state, as was held by Charcot. Both Coué and Freud,[15] visited the Nancy School. Coué (18571926) was a French psychologist and pharmacist who is now known as the father of applied conditioning. He learned hypnosis from Liebault and went on to found the Lorraine Society of Applied Psychology. He modified Faria’s original concept of suggestion, and proposed that autosuggestion could be self-induced, leading to selfconditioning. His enduring legacy is the mantra ‘Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better’ (tous les jours a tous points de vue je vais de mieux en mieux). This is now known as the Coué method and was further developed by Johannes Schultz as Autogenic Training. But it was not Liebault or Bernheim that almost gave the name to what we now call hypnotism, it was the rather more magnetic Mesmer, by which we still term hypnotism as mesmerism. Mesmerism Franz Anton Mesmer (1734 - 1815) had studied theology, law and medicine at the Universities of Ingolstadt and Vienna. There is no account of his education, from which he graduated in 1765, with a thesis that dealt with the subject of gravitational forces on the human body - likely, semi-plagiarised from the work of English doctor, Richard Mead (1673 - 1754). This idea, that the body contained a magnetic fluid, which could be affected by magnetism, led ultimately to Mesmer’s assertion that “there is only one illness, and only one cure”.[16] That cure was magnetism, by use of magnets, to which Mesmer had access through the recently-discovered process of creating artificial magnets by John Canton in 1750. His treatment consisted of passing these magnets over the body to re-distribute the magnetic fluid and bring it to balance. He would make passes with his hands and speak with an authoritative tone whilst doing so, which generated a trance-state. This appeared to

have good effect on a variety of physical and mental illnesses, so Mesmer widely shared his work to various medical academies across Europe, which either ignored or doubted his work. Disillusioned, Mesmer eventually left Vienna for Paris in 1778, where he felt there might be interest in his work. There he set up a large house and began to have a steadily-increasing number of clients, treating sometimes thirty at a time by means of a “magnetic chain” in which patients held hands in a circle to literally circulate the magnetic healing. Having a rise and fall in his success, Mesmer moved for a while to Spa in Belgium, before returning to Paris. On his return, with over a hundred followers, he set up a new academy, the Lodge of Harmony, which had the nature of a secret society.[17] Mesmer continued his work, and later followers would further experiment, leading to at least one, Alexandre Bertrand (1795 1831) in 1823, listing important states arising with mesmerised patients; division of memory, time-distortion, exaltation of imagination, and other effects which we will see in the very heart of NLP methods to come.[18]

Hypnotism & Psychoanalysis As we have seen, in the late nineteenth century, France and metropolises across Europe were swept up in a new entertainment; that of hypnotic “magnetists” who presided over “experiments” in salons, theatres and “magnetic societies” in private apartments. These performances would include the demonstration of “receptive subjects” being placed into trance and evidencing entertaining feats such as hallucination, being placed into unusual poses which were then held, and the well-known “human plank” experiment.[19] Such performances were anathema to the clinicians, scientists and doctors who had been developing the original groundwork for grand hypnotisme and has characterised hypnosis as perceived by the general public to this day. However, there is a fundamental difference between the two encounters of stage and clinical setting; one which was proposed as early as 1889 by one critic, the Belgian philosopher and mathematician Joseph Delboeuf (1831 - 1896). When referring to those he saw on stage or in shows, he concluded: Somnambules are excellent actors, who enter fully into the spirit of their role. Nevertheless, even in this respect, a certain education seems indispensable to me. It is necessary to guide them, to train them.[20] This difference was one of several that began to be observed as the original experiments of hypnotism from the Nancy School of Liebault and Bernheim began to be developed by regular visitors such as Sigmund Freud, who visited in the summer of 1889. Freud himself would later confirm that: … it is not easy to over-estimate the importance of the part played by hypnotism in the history of the origin of

psychoanalysis. From a theoretical as well as from a therapeutic point of view, psychoanalysis has at its command a legacy that it has inherited from hypnotism.[21] It is after a brief hiatus in mesmerism and hypnotism, including the eventual denouncement of hypnotism as a therapeutic tool by Freud in 1896, that we will throw our baton to the USA in 1957, and the foundation of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis by Milton H. Erickson (1901 - 1980). We will return to Erickson shortly, after a brief note of terminology in the work of the Scottish surgeon, James Braid (1795 - 1860). James Braid Whilst it is under constant debate whether Braid can be considered the “father of modern hypnotism”, there is no doubt that his terminology moved the discussion away from mesmerism as a stage act and towards a more clinical appreciation. In fact, Braid wrote: I adopted the term "hypnotism" to prevent my being confounded with those who entertain those extreme notions [sc. that a mesmeriser's will has an "irresistible power… over his subjects" and that clairvoyance and other "higher phenomena" are routinely manifested by those in the mesmeric state], as well as to get rid of the erroneous theory about a magnetic fluid, or exoteric influence of any description being the cause of the sleep.[22] Hypnotism was seen by Braid as having a principal component of “fixed and abstracted attention of the mental and visual eye, on one object, not of an exciting nature”.[23] He had originally started with the term “Neurohypnology” to replace the concept of “animal magnetism”, then shortened it to “Neurypnology”. This term derives from the root meaning “nervous sleep”, being a ‘sleep of the nervous system’ rather than a sleep in which occurs nervous behaviour. He defined it as:

A peculiar condition of the nervous system, into which it can be thrown by artificial contrivance.[24] Then, taking the terminology back to its original form, he termed it “Neuro-Hypnotism”. He further suppressed the prefix “Neuro-”, to define simply “hypnotism” as “nervous sleep”, “hypnotise” to “induce nervous sleep” and hypnotist as “one who practises neurohypnotism”.[25] In this we see the parallel to the phrasing of “neurolinguistic-programming’ or NLP. Émile Coué We have touched upon the work of French psychologist and pharmacist Émile Coué (1857-1926) as one of the several batons in our relay race to NLP. In a sense, he was a parallel to the Nancy School of hypnosis, but believed in a more empowering method, where the person themselves changed their own unconscious patterns to achieve healing. His most famous legacy is of course the self-improvement mantra: Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better[26] He was also forefront in investigating the nature of suggestion in the efficacy of medication and the importance of willpower and “positive thinking”. His work was critiqued on the basis of there being less than adequate studies of its effectiveness and a question as to the long-term adoption of change in his clients. Be that as it may, his work was popularised by the press of the day in the USA, and led to another layer towards the Self-Development, New Thinking and New Age audiences to follow, including a legacy to NLP. Virginia Satir It is no surprise that in the co-creation of NLP, Bandler and Grinder chose to model the work of Virginia Satir (1916 - 1988). She was a pioneer in family therapy and left a legacy of methods and approaches, including the Satir Change Process Model.[27] Virginia’s belief in congruency, in being fully present, in being a real person, in

her definition of maturity, is a fundamental inspiration to NLP Magick, and her language patterns were the third of the three models forming the core of NLP itself. Bandler and Grinder wrote the book, Changing with Families (1976), with Virginia, in which the three state: It is our belief that at this point in time the evolution of the condition of being human is only in its infancy. Therefore, it behooves all of us to become explorers and not judges; we see ourselves as making a contribution towards the further education of being human.[28] Virginia brought to the fore that every person has intrinsic worth, and that they are not the problem, but rather their coping is the problem: What people bring to me in the guise of problems are their ways of living that keep them hampered and pathologically oriented.[29] Virginia also encouraged her clients to connect with themselves in an authentic manner, for each person to go “…deep inside yourself where you keep the treasure that is called by your name”.[30] Milton H. Erickson Milton H. Erickson (1901 - 1980) was born into a large family in Nevada and became interested in hypnotism at an early age. Like many, he first encountered it as an entertainment - in his case, from a travelling entertainer - and immediately became curious about its nature. At the same time, he committed himself to becoming a doctor, whilst himself contracting polio at the age of 17. This condition led to him investigating self-hypnosis for healing, and he recovered enough to be able to walk with just the aid of a stick, only in very later life having to use a wheelchair for mobility.

He attended the University of Wisconsin and graduated in both psychology and medicine, whilst exploring hypnosis through his placement at state hospitals and his specialisation of psychiatry. His wife and five children would later move to Phoenix, Arizona, when he was in his late 40’s, where he would stay in private practice for the remainder of his life. Erickson was responsible for bringing about serious interest in hypnosis as a therapeutic tool and founded the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis in 1957. He was also the founding editor of the American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis. He rejected many of Freud’s ideas about the nature of the unconscious, seeing it as a far more positive and creative resource than a dark domain of repression and innate hostility. Much has changed since Erickson practised, so not all styles and approaches which he incorporated may be applicable in a contemporary setting; “there are new standards of accountability, limitations and boundary definitions that were not present at the time Erickson practices … It is both unrealistic and undesirable for clinicians to practice exactly as Erickson did”.[31] It was during his time in WWII, working with the U.S. Intelligence Service, that he would meet anthropologist and linguist, Gregory Bateson (1904 - 1980) and anthropologist Margaret Mead (1901 1978), with whom he would continue to work thereafter on projects. It was (in part) this friendship with Gregory Bateson that led to his contact with Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Richard Bandler & John Grinder We have seen how the most ancient esoteric ideas of trance, universal fluids and magnetism gave rise to the practices of mesmerism and hypnotism in late-19th century Europe. These ideas and practices were investigated by the French Schools such as that in Nancy, and their findings developed by the founders of psychoanalysis such as Freud. The nature of hypnosis was then reinvestigated by contemporary practitioners such as Milton H.

Erickson and brought to the attention of linguists through his friendship of Gregory Bateson. Here, now, is when the linguistic component of hypnotic induction received its first recognition. And not only hypnosis, but therapeutic - and all - communication. Whilst the history of NLP alone could fill several books - and has - I will here only touch upon those points of history that highlight the development of the fundamental structure of NLP. We will then reference the few contemporary books that have looked at NLP with a more academic rigour. The genesis of NLP starts in 1972 with the meeting of Richard Bandler (1950 - ), John Grinder (1940 - ), and Frank Pucelik (1944 - ) at the University of California. Bandler was studying psychology and Grinder was teaching as an assistant professor in the linguistics department. Bandler had been annotating the recordings of Fritz Perls (1893 - 1970), the founder of Gestalt therapy, and with Pucelik, met Grinder at a Gestalt group discussion session. In discussion, they realised that linguistic patterns, particularly transformational grammar, could be used to model the work of Perls, and from there, they went on, with others, to model the language employed by family therapist Virginia Satir and Milton H. Erickson. This resulted in the publication of The Structure of Magic Volumes I & II (1975, 1976), Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, Volumes I & II (1975, 1977) and Changing with Families (1976). These linguistically dense books formed the basis of their new teaching on therapeutic language, termed NLP. In effect, the idea was that by modelling the language patterns of gifted communicators in change-work, that model could then be taught to others and applied to any change-work, including sales and marketing as well as counselling and therapy.[32] Their work, which was somewhat boundary-less, modelled “the patterns of Carlos Castenada, Carl Rogers, Virginia Satir, Fritz Perls, Gregory Bateson, John Lilly, and others”.[33] Often, members of the

group would be put into trance and ‘installed’ with the model of a person the group wanted to study. Then, acting “as if” that very person, they could be modelled until being returned to their regular identity.[34] It is perhaps no wonder that the first account of this time by a participant was called, NLP: The Wild Days.[35] What Bandler Said. NLP/Tradition. I got a rare moment to talk to Richard Bandler as he sat down between presentations. I had always wanted to ask him one quick question and did so. I asked, “I’ve always liked your description - that NLP is an attitude that leaves behind it a trail of techniques. What is the attitude?” Without skipping a beat, he looked at me and said, “Curiosity”. Following many group sessions and teaching seminars, transcripts of these sessions were published, such as Frogs into Princes (1979) bringing the approach to a wider audience. This resulted in inevitable splits and disagreements, and many of those involved went on to different paths, taking NLP in different directions. As part of an acrimonious time in the field, the term “NLP” was found in court to not belong to any singular person or entity, so was declared in the public domain and not subject to trademark. This resulted in several new branches of the approach being given increasingly convoluted acronyms or re-phrasings such as D.H.E. (Design Human Engineering) and New Code NLP, etc.[36] There has been little academic and scientific study of the efficacy of NLP compared to other studies on person-centred counselling or CBT. Such few studies have concentrated on proving the thesis of eye-accessing cues or language predicates, rather than assessing NLP as a package of techniques. At least, however, one serious study concluded that NLP “holds promise for becoming an important set of therapeutic techniques for treating phobias”.[37] What Grinder Said.

NLP/Tradition. During a presentation, I saw John Grinder being somewhat heckled and interrupted by a member of the audience. Most of these were ignorable and could be passed off, but then the man stood up and attempted to get Grinder’s attention by phrasing some strange question with an attitude of authority, trying to apparently show that he was capable of contradicting what Grinder was saying. John Grinder appeared to pause for a moment, turned around to look over at the man, fixed him fully with attention, and said to him, “Yes. I have heard your belief”. He did not have to wait for the man to sharply sit back down with an audible gasp before he continued with the presentation as if nothing had happened. I waited for many years to use that line, and when I did, it worked equally well, also as a fine example of truism, incorporation, utilisation, and suggestion, neatly packed into six words. “Yes. I have heard your belief”. We are at the stage of the baton passing where now there are too many batons to count and so many runners and teams, all going different directions, that even the notion of a finish line of a single definition or agreement of methodology is inconceivable. In this book, I will present those ideas and methods that I have encountered, practised, and tested, tweaked and taught, over the years, and simply be happy that I have passed my version of the baton on to you.

On Diagnosis and Definition It is out of this author’s range to provide diagnosis or definition of mental or physical health conditions. There is ongoing debate in the clinical field as to the purpose and place of diagnosis, a discussion which is of relevance and interest to all those interested in the subject. The UK manual, Clinical Psychopathology originally written by Frank Fish, is commonly referred to for diagnosis guidelines, and this is the mental health equivalent to the US “DSM-5”, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.[38] The standard classification system for all health ailments and mental disorders is the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems, currently referred to as ICD11.[39] This includes mental illness primarily in category ‘06’, with subdivisions such as ‘6B, Obsessive-Compulsive or related disorders’. A ‘hoarding disorder’, for example, would be defined within ‘6B 24’ with a further subdivision of ‘6B 24.0’ for a hoarding disorder with ‘fair to good insight’ [by the person] and ‘6B 24.1’ for one with ‘poor to absent insight’. Cherry-Blossom Elegance. NLP Training/Empathy. This is the story I tell the most to my students. I was attending an intense NLP workshop in London and had escaped one lunch-time to stand outside the venue. I was looking across to the park and contemplating the elegant cherry blossoms and recalling the traditions in Japan for the start of the cherry blossom season. I suddenly became aware of someone stood to my side and he interrupted my reverie asking, “How is it for you?” I turned to see an intense-looking person who had his unblinking eyes fully fixed on me, and I said casually, “Oh, I’m getting there.” He blinked once and said in a monotone voice, “Where precisely is there?” and raised his eyebrows. I smiled and said, “You know, just there”.

He said, in a more aggressive and yet still monotone voice, “And how would you know specifically where there is?” I blinked once and responded, “You know, there is when you are interrupted by somebody who has no empathy with your state”. He took a literal step back and said in a huff, “Well some people just don’t get NLP!” and stormed off. I happily returned to my contemplation of the cherry blossom. The moral of this tale is that we should always adopt cherryblossom elegance, be aware of other people’s states, and respect those states no matter how precise or well-trained we think we are.

The Virginia Satir Touchstone In studying the original inspirations of NLP, I was particularly taken by Virginia Satir, whose family therapy work is foundational in the field. Whilst her methodology was modelled by Bandler and Grinder, there is also much to gain from her own approach and conceptual framework.[40] I would like to quote in full her definition of the concept of maturity, which is a touchstone for my own work with clients and a personal aspiration. We can use this touchstone as an aspirational model for all personal change-work and the ambition of any of the methods in this present book, which can be used to increasingly move us towards a better state of maturation. I would like to present this touchstone before beginning the book proper, so we have a clear framework in which to work. The reader is encouraged to discern their own touchstone or framework for their own work as may be suitable. 1. The most important concept in therapy, because it is a touchstone for all the rest, is that of Maturation. a. This is the state in which a given human being is fully in charge of himself. b. A mature person is one who, having attained majority, is able to make choices and decisions based on accurate perceptions about himself, others, and the context in which he finds himself; who acknowledges these choices and decisions as being his; and who accepts responsibility for their outcomes. 2. The patterns of behaving that characterize a mature person we call functional because they enable him to deal in a relatively competent and precise way with the world in which he lives.

Such a person will: a. manifest himself clearly to others. b. be in touch with signals from his internal self, thus letting himself know openly what he thinks and feels. c. be able to see and hear what is outside himself as differentiated from himself and as different from anything else. d. behave toward another person as someone separate from himself and unique. e. treat the presence of different-ness as an opportunity to learn and explore rather than as a threat or a signal for conflict. f. deal with persons and situations in their context, in terms of “how it is” rather than how he wishes it were or expects it to be. g. accept responsibility for what he feels, thinks, hears and sees, rather than denying it or attributing it to others. h. have techniques for openly negotiating the giving, receiving and checking of meaning between himself and others. * * This description of maturity emphasizes social and communication skills rather than the acquisition of knowledge and recognized achievement, which in my view derive from the first two.[41] We can see how this relates to the NLP concept of surface and deep structure, aiming for congruity. The more that the internal model is congruent with the external world - and itself - the more authentic we become to ourselves. This can always serve an aspirational model and one towards which we can calibrate our clients.

This touchstone also works in parallel with the therapeutic triangle I will present later in this book. Pass the Brown Sauce. Breakfast/NLP Training. I was attending two NLP workshops back to back in London, hosted by two different schools of trainers. I had attended the first over a period of two weeks and changed accommodation to attend the second workshop the following day. I overheard a group of men talking about the main trainer in the foyer of the bed and breakfast and introduced myself, mentioning that I had just finished a workshop by the other group. There was an immediate reaction of dead-response and they literally turned their backs on me, excluding me from the conversation. The following morning, I waited until the last moment to go down to breakfast as I did not want to repeat that experience. I gathered later that there was some enmity between the two groups of trainers. I walked into the breakfast room to find only one table left laid out, with one of the NLP trainers on the other side of it, finishing his breakfast. I sat down opposite him and attempted a greeting. He replied that “it was late now and whilst he was late it wasn’t as late as it could be now, was it?” or some such verbal sparring. I nodded and asked him if he could pass the brown sauce. I suspect he took that as a verbal counter-attack, and he proceeded to simply stare at me. I slowly stood up, and warily reached across the other side of the table and picked up the brown sauce. As I couldn’t think of anything else to say, I shut up and had my breakfast. Whilst he glared at me. In silence. For fifteen minutes. Two experts in communication. Having breakfast.

Common Pre-Suppositions of NLP There are several pre-suppositions of NLP which are general truisms that guide the practitioner in re-framing their expectations for communication. They function after-the-fact to generalise NLP and perhaps differentiate it from other approaches. The pre-suppositions may vary in their impact to provide an “Aha!” moment for practitioners but I feel they are worth testing out when first coming to terms with NLP and adapting its posture. Some are taken from phrases in reasonably popular usage such as “If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got”.[42] As ever, there are various levels of debate on each presupposition. I have listed just three here which I find most applicable to NLP Magick and suggest to all practitioners they create their own list from the many available. The map is not the territory.[43]

You cannot not communicate.

Genuine understanding only comes from experience. There is, however, a particular feature of NLP that derives from Erickson and is worth looking at in detail; the idea of utilization, which in NLP Magick is combined with incorporation.

Incorporation & Utilisation There is no singular technique nor strategy which will be a cureall for every client or challenge we may meet. Rather, it is a flexible attitude combined with what works for the client in each case that is our best methodology. Whilst the Ericksonian approach has been categorised with at least six different strategic positions; distraction, partitioning, progression, suggestion, re-orientation, and utilization, in NLP Magick we concentrate on two main strategies; incorporation and utilisation.[44] We incorporate everything presented by the client and utilise these communications as resources. As we will come to see, a client who is resistant is simply showing us a useful resource; their determination. A client who has unwillingly learnt to adopt a specific phobia has the same skill to learn to unlearn it. As Richard Bandler sometimes enquires, “are you sure that you are unsure?” or “how confident are you that you have no confidence?” Erickson put it this way: … you pick whatever lock is presented to you. And once one lock is picked, all the other locks become vulnerable.[45] Incorporation means being flexible enough to accept whatever the client presents; a rule of NLP Magick is “never deny anyone their state”. If a client feels helpless, we do not give them something that they can fail at. If a client uses smoking to relax, we do not take away the smoking until we have given them an alternative method of relaxation. To incorporate something is also to accept it from a naturalistic approach:

By naturalistic approach is meant the acceptance and utilization of the situation encountered without endeavouring to psychologically restructure it. In so doing, the presenting behaviour of the patient becomes a definite aid and an actual part in inducing a trance, rather than a possible hinderance.[46] Such incorporation becomes an aid when we utilise it; “effective therapy [is] based upon the utilization of the personality’s need for something to be done in direct relationship to the injury”.[47] I am reminded of the demonstration I observed at our local stables. The head of the stables stood in the centre of the yard and had a horse run around her in a circle. As the horse got bored, she simply had it run the other way. As it got cantankerous, instead of stopping, she sped it up, so she was never in opposition to it. Once she had established this relationship, she simply stopped and turned her back on the horse. It stopped, and in a wonderful moment, padded gently up to her from behind and put its head on her shoulder. It simply wanted to know what to do next. I call this intuitive state, where sometimes it is impossible to consciously discern the direction in which the communication is arising and change is occurring, as walking in emptiness, a shamanic term for entering an altered state. As Bandler says, “we go there first”. Walking in Emptiness. Unknown Issue/Incorporation & Utilisation. A woman came to me who had not explained her issue whilst making the original telephone appointment. On arrival she appeared stressed and upset. I asked her to explain what it was she wished to achieve and why she had decided it was time to take this step. After five minutes of listening to her earnest and detailed speech, I still had no idea what she was talking about. I asked another question and received another dense pack of information which was totally incomprehensible.

I had never – nor have since – encountered this strange miscommunication. Falling back to the principle of incorporation and utilisation, I amplified my confused response and gave no other feedback. The client looked at me quizzically as if to prompt another response, so I maintained my posture. I asked her, “what is it like to be in a room where you are paying money to speak with somebody who has no idea what to do?” I continued to look at her for a long, drawn-out length of time. Inside, the conscious part of me was screaming, “Do something! Do something!”. I took this to be a normal and expected response - so ignored it. After another two or three minutes the woman simply closed her eyes. I continued to interpret the rising activity and simply held the silence for another few minutes. I continued to ignore my conscious prompts and held the silence - for another fifty minutes. At about that time the woman naturally opened her eyes, looked at me and said, “You know, you’re right; that’s exactly what I need to do. Thank you.” She made payment and left. Two weeks later, she telephoned me to say that her husband wanted her to also pass on his thanks. She said she was now following my “advice” and spending an hour a day to herself. As a result, she was “a different person”. I said I was glad the session had been useful whilst remaining completely oblivious to what had transpired.

Types of Hypnotherapy We can create a simple matrix of four main approaches to hypnotherapy in terms of their basic manner; authoritarian or permissive, and direct or in-direct. An entirely “clinical” approach would fall into authoritarian and direct, for example, which would be best suited to perhaps a dentist who is using a relaxation technique for a client. As they are already in a position of authority and have little information about the client (or time), a direct and ‘standardised’ delivery of a progressive relaxation would be most suitable. On the opposite quadrant we would find the “permissive and indirect” metaphor play of Erickson, for example. A methodology such as Clean Language might be placed in the “permissive and direct” category. These categories should not be taken as constraints, they are however a useful model to provide a range to each individual practitioner. One practitioner may be more skilled in one quadrant, and look to develop their skills in another, or the definitions might provide a good way of choosing a particular approach for a particular client. As ever, the awareness of a model gives us a way of seeing what we are looking at - through that model. PERMISSIVEAUTHORITARIAN INDIRECTActive ImaginationProvocative Therapy Ericksonian Hypnotherapy DIRECTGuided MeditationElman Hypnotherapy Clean Language In NLP Magick, we tend to the permissive and indirect quadrant, whilst sometimes using more direct techniques such as the Inner Guide Meditation (covered elsewhere) or the Betty Erickson

Technique. Often, direct methods are merely props for a more indirect utilisation of resources and self-empowerment for the client. I personally first learnt a far more direct and authoritarian method which was good as a foundation but somewhat less flexible for the variety of clients I would come to see. However, these types of hypnotherapy are best applied within another framework, one which directs our approach to change-work and gives us a framework in which the client issues may be seen to arise. I call this the therapeutic triangle. It will provide us an initial ‘targeting mechanism’ to use long before we may find ourselves walking in the emptiness.

The Therapeutic Triangle All the mind’s a theatre, and all our identities but mere players: they have their exits and their trances; and in life, one self has many parts, its acts according to its will. (With apologies to Shakespeare, As you Like it). Over the years, I have come to believe that there are three main components to change-work; three areas of the psyche and its relationship to the universe that can be flexed, changed, or distorted to the most effect in any of us. These are time, identity, and values. Time/Space The way we process and store time in our mind is represented by spatial metaphors. When we change this representation, or have it changed by events, it will have a major impact on everything else stored within it. Self-Image Our internal model of ourselves, following the pre-supposition that “the map is not the territory” is also governed by the subproposition that “the map is never complete”. When we change our own representation of ourselves, or have that model changed by events, such an initiation will have a major impact on our present and possible behaviour. Values/Beliefs Our actions are sorted and attended within a field of values, in which develop our constellations of beliefs. Someone who believes (or not) in capital punishment must also have a value relating to human life. When we elicit our values and question our beliefs, major change can occur in our outlook.

The Therapeutic Triangle

When engaging with clients, I tend to listen for which of these areas in which a client is most bound. The model also gives me a simple triangulation for choosing a technique or approach in any case. I have added Attention to the triangle, and we can consider that attention is always moving between the points of our awareness. As we respond to change, the triangle is put under stress as it adjusts, and when we are congruent to our state and environment, we can call that repose. We might also further divide the awareness to become a circle (like an eye) within the triangle, which would then be split into unconscious and conscious components. We will now examine each of these sides of the triangle in a little more detail. Time/Space Along the Time/Space side of the triangle, we might hear a client talk about how they cannot “put the past aside”, or “can’t see any future ahead”, or similar time-based statements. They may also exhibit a close relationship with this side of the triangle in that they apologise for being late, even if they are only a few minutes delayed, and are concerned about the time passing during the session. They may state that they are interested in regression work, or even an exploration of past-lives. All these issues are indicative of a strong time/space sense in the client, or particularly in the situation they are bringing to us. If they are motioning or gesturing their hands to different times in their life, even by saying, “oh, that was ages ago, it’s not important”, it demonstrates the use of time/space. If strongly indicated that the issue is held in a time/space sense, then, we might move to time/space work with the client. It is more difficult to “build confidence” or “prepare for a driving test” if the client

does not have a clear future space into which those preparations may be placed. The time/space side of our triangle is the easiest to notice and has a clear set of techniques of the same nature, so is often the main-stay of a lot of NLP change-work, and sometimes the only range of techniques a therapist might regularly employ. Self-Image Our sense of self, one of the most fundamental and yet mysterious aspects of consciousness, is a powerful model. It determines who we think we are, how we act (to a large part) and how we react to our own behaviour. It is often the most accepted and unchallenged aspects of our experience, that we are who we think we are. And yet, this image is not always a comprehensive map our ourselves; it is not always congruent; it is not always consistent. Trauma is recognised when our state of self-image has been rapidly or suddenly shifted, as can also happen with our values and beliefs. Acting “out of character” under stress is another indication of the transient nature of identity. When a client speaks of “not being themselves”, “that’s not me” or “I can’t help myself”, then we are dealing with this side of the triangle. It might sometimes be strongly connected with one or both other edges, but usually, it is only one edge that is facing us at any one time. In working with self-image, a good default technique is the magic mirror, although re-framing is another common tool that engages with this side of the triangle. Values & Beliefs The side of the triangle which relates to values and beliefs is probably the most subtle of the three sides and yet also the most powerful in terms of self-change work. It is evident behind all

behaviour and directs our standing attention in the world. As a result, it also acts as our filter, blind and guide to the universe and our individual “truth”.[48] It also provides the layer of our experience of the world that is attached most strongly to our sense of being; an esoteric teacher once told me “when you attack someone’s belief, you are not doing so - you are attacking them”. As a result, in NLP Magick we would never deny someone their belief or attempt to argue it. We would simply incorporate and utilise it. This is something that can be best done by value elicitation, which goes “behind” the belief structure, ignores attachment, and rearranges the field of values in which the belief is stored. A belief can also be weakened, if it is obsolete or causing issues, by sleight-of-mouth and other belief-elicitation techniques. In the simplest way, it can be weakened slightly by bringing to attention even a single counter-example. For example, if someone said, “I can’t go over and talk to them, I’ve never been able to do that”, a good bar-change reply would be along the lines of, “Yeah, I recall how you didn’t just go and walk up to that guy who pushed ahead of your kids at the park last week” [referring to an event that did happen]. If you said that with a gentle hand on the person’s back, that would give them the ‘push’ without even having to physically do so, as you have cued it in the language pattern. In that case example, we also might discern some past regression elicitation, a future pacing, a value elicitation (on looking after your children), a change in self-image, and a belief change all neatly rolled into one simple sentence. We have even conducted it with cherry-blossom elegance as it is entirely naturalistic, but also has a “just” buried in it, and an anchored trigger to ‘push’ the desired behaviour - the behaviour desired by the person who has hypnotised themselves to not do something they might like to do. This is not subliminal suggestion, heavy-handed hypnosis, or manipulation, it is simply elegant communication, in this case to de-

hypnotise someone else. When listening to people who just seem to be able to say the right thing, cheer people up, light up a room, conduct efficient meetings with no conflict, are excellent negotiators, salespeople, or diplomats, it is good to listen - they are usually only doing it with what they say. Sorting Stones. Erickson/Story-Telling. I do not recall the exact details of the story or the source, but I tell it to my students a lot. It is about Milton H. Erickson demonstrating the power of values and the lesson that it is sometimes what we do not say in a session that can have effect. The story goes something like this; when Erickson was becoming well-known through the results he was achieving with clients, people would travel across the United States to have even one session with him. One such person, a farmer, visited Erickson with a wide range of issues, particularly feeling absolutely hopeless and disempowered. Erickson said to him something to the effect of “I won’t even see you for any longer, until you go back home, find one of your best fields, and collect ten stones from that field. Then take them back to your porch and arrange them in order of importance - then, I’ll see you again. The farmer, somewhat shocked and disappointed by the session (as he had told Erickson he could only afford the one session) returned home. Some months later, the farmer had changed his entire life around, was happy, successful, and contacted Erickson to thank him. He had even changed his farm around, realising that he had more success in one particular area than his other produce. What had happened was that he had indeed found his best field and picked up ten stones. It was not until he took them back to the porch and tried to sort them that he realised that he did not know what Erickson had meant by “in order of importance”. This vague

instruction presented him an issue; did he mean, in order of size, in terms of interesting features, weight, importance to some purpose? So, he had spent the entire evening puzzling over what Erickson could have meant by “importance” and the sorting of these objects into that order. He tried and could not succeed - but could also not fail, as he did not quite understand the instruction. Of course, Erickson had deliberately left his instruction vague. In giving that task, he had ensured that the farmer would have to access and call upon his own, likely forgotten, concept of “value” and “importance”. He would also have to work at a sorting of stones in some order - but as that was impossible, his unconscious would also be applying itself to all content requiring that ordering. As a result, the farmer “sorted” his life out, re-discovered what was important to him, gave himself a sense of meaning and purpose and, in the process of doing so, found his best field of work. Having established our touchstone, the concept of incorporation and utilization, and our therapeutic triangle, we can now move to the first of the three essential models of NLP; the Representational Systems. In understanding how language patterns predicate our internal model, we can begin to understand how we manage to think the things we think and feel the things we feel, even if we do not want to. And as with much of the material in this book, you may not be able to hear things in the same way ever again once you know how to listen in this one way.

REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEMS

Representational Systems Man is not chained to the finite self but believes himself to be so. This belief is based on an illusion. The illusion that the five senses are the conscious functioning agents of man’s life, and that, therefore, the world to which they testify is a solid world of the utmost reality. The senses deceive him, and he deceives himself … It is the Mind that can set man free again. This is not done by running away to monasteries or mountains and spending one’s life there: it is done by using the mind to enquire into its own operation. - Paul Brunton, The Inner Reality (1939). In NLP, we consider that the universe is modelled inside our mind as if it was encoded in the same manner by which we perceive the universe; through our eyes, ears, tongue, nose and skin; sight, hearing, taste, scent and touch. This model, technically the second model of NLP (the first being the Meta Model of language patterns) was first conceived by Bandler and Grinder in the mid-1970’s. The story as told by Grinder is that he and Bandler were driving in the San Lorenzo Valley and had stopped so Bandler could get something from a shop. He came back to the car, laughing, and said something to the effect of: You know, John, people say the weirdest things, the woman I was talking to at the counter. She said, “I see what you are saying”.[49] The two then played with this pattern and tested it out that evening with a group of students. They discovered that language patterns such as “I see …” were predicates of a particular way of representing the world. In their group session that evening, they subtly identified people in these terms, and asked them to talk to each other with only the other people in the group as held the same

way of representing their world. They then switched after ten minutes, and re-grouped people with a mix of different representational models. They noticed a far more connected environment in the same-mix and a very awkward and fragmented session in the different-mix. In the model developed by Bandler and Grinder, we are said to represent the world outside on the inside in terms of these five sense-systems, which in NLP we refer to as: Visual

Auditory

Kinaesthetic

Olfactory

Gustatory These are known by their acronym V.A.K.O.G. Within these representational systems, we have a sort of channel control, which in NLP we refer to as sub-modalities. I tend to refer to them as simply modalities, as they are not really ‘sub’ to modalities, but rather the representational systems. These modalities are the variables or changeable aspects of each of the systems. As with much of NLP, it is easier to

demonstrate or list examples rather than explain. Here are these agents of change within each system: Visual (Seeing) Colour

Distortion

Size

Location

Movement

Frame Auditory (Hearing) Volume

Location

Tone

Speed Kinaesthetic (Touch) Hardness/Softness

Temperature

Type (Rough/Smooth)

Concentrated or Spread

Stable or Unstable Olfactory (Smell) Location

Strength

Type of Odour Gustatory (Taste)

Strength

Sweet/Sour

Desirable/Undesirable

Mouth Dry or Watering I have selected and listed the above from their prevalence and use in my own experience, although there are many other modalities in each of these representation systems. As ever, let the client surprise and intrigue you with how they fix, maintain and change their representation of the world. Lead or Main System? Generally, people do have a “main” system, which is the system they “mainly” use. This can be considered their default position, given most circumstances. Also, in most states of being, we all have a lead system, which is the first system we go to when we are going into that state, or to generate that state. An example might be when someone is generally a “visual” person, using phrases like “I see where you’re going with this” and “she lights up a room”, but when it comes to motivate themselves, they lead with auditory, in having to tell themselves to get a move on, or say inside their head, “I should say something”. There is a tendency to simplify these systems to the fact that every person has one system; they “are visual” or they “are auditory”. I encourage students to consider we have the potential for all systems in various degrees and in various states.[50]

However, for the sake of learning in the beginning, it is fine to say that one person is “more visual” than another who is “more auditory”. We will see in a moment how we discern which representational system is being used - by listening and observation. First, I further add to these modalities the concept of time/space and identification from the therapeutic triangle. This allows us to get a personalised model for every client under specific states. We will also introduce the idea that each modality is digital or analogue - another useful short-cut category for change-work. Time/Space When we come to identify which representational system a person is using, and which modalities hold and change it most, we can also place it in time. Where (when) are the clients representing these things? If they are representing an event as a fuzzy feeling in their stomach (Kinaesthetic) is that also “in” the past, present or future? If they are seeing a clear and bright picture, is that when they are looking into their past or future? When mapping these systems and modalities with a client, where you can, make a note as to whether they are experiencing the relevant states in the past, present or future. This is often given simply by the content and context of the discussion: Oh, I’ve never gone out to that place by myself, I just couldn’t see myself doing that sort of thing [visual/past].

I think I’d probably shout at her if she did that [auditory/future].

I now feel like [kinaesthetic/present].

I’ve

let

everyone

down

Identification One of the “kicker” modalities, and one that certainly counts as “a difference that makes a difference” is whether the client is associated or disassociated in any representation, particularly those of a visual nature. Basically, can they see themselves in the scene - or they associated in their identity - or are they looking out through their own eyes - disassociated - in the scene? This primary identification makes for a powerful agent of change. EXERCISE Try imagining one scene from your ideal vacation; is it visual, or a blend of visual and auditory? Can you add a feeling to it if one isn’t there already? Now, as you look out at that scene, seeing what you can see, hearing what you can hear, feeling what you feel best, remove yourself from it by floating out of yourself and seeing yourself enjoying that scene. How does that change the representation in the present moment? And, if you were naturally and already seeing yourself in the scene, float into yourself and see it out from your own eyes and body in the scene. How does that change the representation in the present moment?

This is the very first experience of changing modalities in our representational systems to change our state. Good job! Amplification & Compression All the modalities of our representations can be changed, to either amplify or compress that representation. In doing so, we literally change the way we see an event or situation in our mind, the way we feel about it, and what we tell ourselves about it. This is the real “programming” aspect of NLP. If you have a visual representation of an old memory, try making it smaller or larger - which shift amplifies the sensation of the memory, and which shift compresses it, makes it weaker? If you tell yourself that you were “stupid” about an event, and make that voice higher pitched or lower, closer or further away, how does the change in representation on the audio make a change in your feeling in response? If a future situation to which you are looking forward to with excitement, and with a clear visual picture, how does it feel to put it in a heavy wooden frame, turn it black and white, and make it smaller? If it compresses it, makes it feel less compelling or exciting, then you also may now know how to compress a negative anxiety about a future event. Eliciting and changing these representations is one of the fun-damental techniques of NLP and you may look forward to many revelations as to how people represent their map of the universe and how it can be changed. Analogue or Digital A slightly more advanced consideration is to refer to each modality as being analogue or digital, i.e., a sliding scale or a twostate on/off type of modality.

If we consider temperature, that is certainly analogue; it can range through a whole scale of sensations. On the other hand, a sound being inside or outside is a digital state; it can only be one or the other, and there is no intermediate condition. An analogue modality is smoother to change than a digital one; although the latter change can be far more impactful. As an example, take a moment to close your eyes and return yourself in your imagination to a dream vacation scene - somewhere you have not yet actually been. Firstly, slowly change the volume, as if it were going up and getting louder, and then slowly getting quieter. Not only does this reach particular thresholds of change but it is ‘smoother’ to do, i.e., when it gets really quiet or ‘too loud’ it changes the state of the representation. Now open your eyes, think about cricket for a moment [a ‘state change’, ‘reset’ or ‘break’] then close your eyes again, go back into the scene, and now suddenly switch it between being colour and black and white. Imagine when you do a ‘click’ or ‘switch’ noise. On and off. Colour. Black and white. Colour. That not only has an impact in the state of representation, it also has an impact in its suddenness. This is a clue to the way in which sometimes we suddenly realise something - we suddenly and literally see it “in a whole new light” or “a totally different way”. “It’s like a lightbulb has gone off” is a common saying, but it also represents a unique experience that we might wish for our clients, simply by helping them find the switches for the control panel in their own mind. We will now look [see what I did there] at how we discern these representation systems and modalities - these immensely powerful agents of change.

Verbal Predicates We will return to these modalities when we consider modelling behaviour. At present, it is useful to start learning and observing them through verbal predicates – by listening to people. This is an exercise for you if you wish to work along through this book as a workbook or if you are revising from an NLP course. It is considered that when we speak, we use language which fits the way in which we are representing the world inside our head – through the representation systems and their modalities. As we have noted, it is often the case that people seem to have a preferred or lead representation system, such as being a “visual person” or “a touchy-feely person”. This is reasonably true but a little simplistic, like describing someone as an “Aries” or a “Capricorn”, when an astrologer would want to know a hundred other variables for that same person. A further important point is that people tend to switch their lead system in different states. This cannot be stated often enough, because it is rarely taught and always comes up in long-term practice. It can be observed for profound sensory acuity and rapport; and utilised for significant and sudden changes in behaviour and habitual thought. We will return to this matter in a following section. For now, let us imagine that we are going to classify everyone in just one of the systems, so you will listen to their general conversations, particularly their meta-comments (see previous section) and identify if they are mainly using visual words, feeling words or auditory words. It is not often that a lead system is gustatory or olfactory, but it can happen. Here are just some of the many examples you may encounter:

Visual I see what you mean.

Does anyone else see what’s going on here?

That’s perfectly clear to me.

They’re not being entirely transparent, are they?

We’re all on the same hymn sheet (this is visual, rather than “in tune” which would be auditory). Auditory You’re just not hearing me.

That sounds good to me.

There’s alarm bells going off for me.

Really, that rings a bell. Kinaesthetic

I’m not feeling sure.

I get a sinking feeling when he walks into the room.

Is that too heavy to lay on you?

That’s definitely a solid plan.

Let’s stay in touch.

I’m carrying a lot of my shoulders. Olfactory Something smells up with this.

Your plan stinks.

That’s a bit fishy.

I really don’t like him . Gustatory

Talking with her leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I can almost taste it.

I was so hungry for that win.

Sweet!

It’s all gone sour . There are many lists online and in books, but my recommendation is to listen for them in everyday speech and collate a notebook for yourself. This is better practice and stops you listening for certain phrases and missing subtle ones said right to you in real situations. Also, make a note of the state or context of these predicates, particularly when observing someone - or yourself - over a long time. You may be surprised to notice how markedly the main system shifts depending on state, such as between being comfortable and stressed. Discerning Modalities When we hear these verbal predicates, we should also observe eye movement and all gestures and non-verbal communication. This gives us our first clue as to the modalities of the representation, within that specific system. For example, consider someone saying, “I’m just not ready to look at this yet”, whilst pushing their hands away from them with

palms out. They may even close their eyes briefly whilst saying it. This is a visual representation, and the immediate modalities are location and distance. We might casually reply, whilst also sweeping our hands across the space to which they have “pushed away” their representation, “That’s OK, there’s time for that yet, let’s just make a space for it so we can see it with open eyes, yes?” or, if you really did want to return to it later rather than almost immediately, “OK, yes, there’s quite a long way to go yet before we get there ”. Notice in both cases we have included the word “yet”, which the client tagged on to the end of their sentence. They could have just said, “I’m not ready to look at this”, but added “yet”. We gain far more rapport and listening bonus points for utilising that little word in tune with the client.

Eye Accessing Cues Whilst often used as the convincer for books on NLP, I prefer not to teach what are called ‘eye accessing cues’ in a prescriptive format. It is suggested in NLP that our unconscious eye movements predicate how we are representing something in our mind; in what representational system, and whether it is being recalled (remembered) or constructed (made up). It is used as a trope in TV shows and movies when a body-language expert is shown to be able to tell if someone is lying or not, for example, by watching their eye movements. Whilst this may be partly true, some NLP practitioners have long moved away from this prescriptive idea, including John Grinder, one of the two co-founders of NLP as was introduced at the start of this book. The standard model of eye-accessing cues is given in the diagram.

Eye-Accessing Cues

This is shown as a person looking at us, so if their eyes have moved upwards and to their right (our left) when they are thinking, that might indicate they are constructing a visual scene. However, even when we recall, we might be similarly constructing a lot of the scene if we cannot consciously recall it. Sometimes, the head gesture does most of the work, and the eyes track the physical location towards which the head has moved. So, someone speaking to themselves internally may actually be shaking their head from side-to-side, biting their lip (to avoid speaking out loud) and looking down to their left. Their eyes might still be looking straight ahead (to their gaze), but they will be looking down and to the left whilst they access their inner voice. There are other issues with this idea, for one thing, it has never been convincingly demonstrated to be factual under all circumstances. Another issue is that you will notice I have drawn the single arrows as pointing both ways. This is to denote that the eye movement is never one way; sometimes it is a brief flash, followed by a return to a central gaze or even another direction. Also, different people - and different cultures - have different cues - in general. Furthermore, if you are left-handed or right-handed, this is also said to change your eye-direction cues. I teach that it is simpler to observe and calibrate the eye movements of a client, by taking note of any emphatic movements and then checking a few times to see if the same movement takes place when that state is later accessed. At the very least, this will gain rapport if done in a cherry-blossom way - if not, the other person will just find you are staring at them strangely or not paying attention to what they are actually saying. So, if a person when describing a traumatic past event always looks down and to their right, slightly closing their eyes, this may indicate a kinaesthetic representation of that event. If we checked for this, by watching the cues when the person was talking about the

physicality of playing football, we might see the same cues, but without closing the eyes as much. This observation leads us to promote the ability to keep the eyes open when feeling that particularly negative feeling, or to gradually increase the resources to be able to do so. It is also entirely possible, as these states can become metaphors (as we will see in detail later), to reach over to where someone is looking, pull that space into the space between you and the client, and say, “when you hear that voice inside your head, what does it feel like?” In conclusion, I would suggest that eye-accessing cues are a useful starter observation but should be taken in the whole context of the communication.

Mirroring and Matching One of the more popular and lampooned misconceptions about NLP, and its aims and methods, is that it teaches some form of “mirroring” another person to gain - particularly as dramatized on tv shows - an exaggerated influence over that person. This mirroring is presented as a concentrated awareness of the movements of another person, and then mirroring or matching these movements at a subtle level. At some point, the mirroring becomes paced to the other person, and then - allegedly - the practitioner can begin to lead the other person on an unconscious level, causing them to relax their guard, feel trust, even sign a contract - depending on the need of the fictional narrative. This is sometimes backed up by the practitioner of this dark art creating a “trigger” or anchor for the suggested behaviour, which can be fired off with a key phrase, such as “the river is deep”, at which point the affected person commits some dramatic and preprogrammed act. In this case of popular misconception, we can see the allure; imagine being able to be taught something that allowed you to get your own way, despite the wishes of others? What would anyone do with that ability? Would you have other people fall in love with you, give you expensive gifts, or would you influence people in power, such as might a Svengali or Cagliostro-type figure? This allure is possibly more about us feeling a lack of power in our own lives rather than the ability to get someone to like us or provide us material security. It also gives rise to the question of will and desire; what is it that we desire - truly - and what is it that we can set our will towards? Do we even know? That perhaps would be a better use of any technology of the psyche; discovering our own true will and the exact nature of our relationship to reality.

In the meantime, we must address the popularisation of hypnosis and NLP as a stage act or devious means of undue control, through media. The best of this is that at least people are either derisive of poor uses of NLP or at least question their own agency when confronted with attempts at manipulation. Of course, we do not require any knowledge of NLP to appreciate that by understanding others, and understanding ourselves, we are likely to gain better rapport. In turn, this will lead to better relationships and a stronger sense of our own place in the world. Mirroring, matching, pacing and leading, may not be the most revered of NLP skills, or indeed even the most effective, but they do have one key quality; they make us more curious about others - and ourselves. In real time, if you are thinking about mirroring someone, you are simply paying more attention, at the very least. If you are pacing someone, you are demonstrating - in real time - your awareness and appreciation of their position. Whether the method itself works as stated, or it simply generates a beneficial side-effect, it is worth practising for the observational training alone. Bryan Lewis, an author who used NLP and CBT in his work on substance abuse, summarised his response to the lack of scientific proof of NLP thus: The possibility that, in my attempt to observe it [eyeaccessing cues], I am doing something different than if I wasn’t trying to observe it and I am doing something that better helps me communicate with and/or guide the subject towards a desirable outcome, is more important anyway.[51] Further, it leads us to consider that the fictional world is simply a misplacing of a singular reality; our behaviour is not hypnotised by an evil villain with the power of NLP, but rather our own family, peers, and colleagues.

55% Non-Verbal? Whilst accepting that much of non-verbal communication happens unconsciously, we must also consider that the oftpresented figure of “55% of our communication is non-verbal” is not a very well-researched ‘rule’. Despite this, it has become popularly repeated without question often in NLP workshops and television documentaries. The actual study for this ‘statistic’ was conducted with 37 female university undergraduates in 1967, and this study was also merged with another study (on facial movement) to produce the “rule”. In fact, the rule should merely state that given a recording of the meaningless word “maybe”, the few people studied tended more towards the tone of voice to discern the meaning than the word itself. [52] This was not a real life situation. In NLP Magick, we would rather say, “we can pay more attention to non-verbal communication in certain contexts for better communication”.

Mirroring When we mirror people, which occurs naturally, we simply copy their motions as our own, but as if in a mirror. So, if someone taps their left foot, we will tap our right foot, at the same time. This type of activity is usually associated with couples or people who are experiencing a similar situation in stress, as the body unconsciously seeks cues for behaviour. The idea is that by mirroring someone deliberately, we can increase our rapport with that person. As we have mentioned, this is not real-life behaviour, and is likely to a) disrupt your own natural behaviour and b) be noticed by the other person, even unconsciously, as being incongruent to the setting and relationship. I would simply recommend that watching other people mirror each other naturally can be very instructive and observing it in a client can be useful in gaining rapport simply on the grounds of being seen to be paying attention - but only sometimes, not if you do it to the exclusion of content. If the reader would like to try mirroring, then try it with general posture first, and see what happens, then move up to detailed movements such as foot or hand movement. When you have mastered a naturalistic mirroring of movements, try practising with breathing and blinking. As these are two entirely unconscious mechanisms, by observing them and taking conscious attention to them, you will increase rapport naturally, simply by being more observant, so long as you do it with respect for the situation. Mirroring breathing is a good method for pacing down (or up) extreme states, such as breathing someone calmer. If you mirror blinking too well, it will appear to the other person that you are not

blinking at all, which is more unsettling and plain weird than rapport building.

Matching Matching is a more general rapport-building - or observational technique that leads to better rapport - than mirroring. We aim to observe and match tonal shifts, volume or speed of voice, overall posture, or movement, with the same hand or side as the other person. So, if someone clenched their right hand, I would also clench my right hand. Like mirroring, matching can be treated as a practice technique and for the development of observational acuity rather than a fixed rule of rapport building. Having said that, we will briefly look at two aspects of mirroring and matching that can prove useful as a flexible technique; pacing and leading.

Pacing & Leading In pacing and leading, we take the idea of mirroring or matching and then utilise them in real time. At first, the idea is to pace the client by matching or mirroring some aspect of their non-verbal communication, and then to lead that behaviour by changing your own once you have established rapport. Again, this has been ‘done to death’ by proponents and critics of NLP alike. It is simply the case that you cannot ‘lead’ someone too far away from their own behaviour and feelings by this type of method. There also must be congruity with the whole therapeutic triangle and tick boxes ticked on the change model before such leading is to prove any value at all. However, there are several cases in which our trained observational skills can lead to useful matching, pacing and leading. When a client comes in a few moments late, is flustered and agitated, we can experiment with observation, then matching or mirroring aspects of their behaviour, such as increasing the pace of our breathing or the rapidity of our hand gestures. As the client settles themselves, we can lead their state by slowing our movements down, slowing our breathing down, and this can help guide the client more rapidly to their own state of relaxation. Similarly, when conducting an exercise such as the circle of excellence, where we need to amplify motivational patterns, we can pace and then lead our client’s state of excitement, such as by emphasizing our tonality, making shorter motions with our hands, etc., depending on how they convey their own state. In these cases, our lead of non-verbal patterns can certainly supplement the main technique or approach. Having established these representational systems and their modalities, we will now look at the actual content of communication -

our language patterns - and chunk down to look at the detail of this level of communication.

LANGUAGE PATTERNS

Language Patterns WARNING: If you read this section carefully, you might not ever be able to hear people in the same way ever again. You have been warned. Use this skill wisely. When we communicate, our language represents the world as it appears to us and may or may not reflect that world in terms of consistency, congruency, or comprehensiveness. In NLP, we consider that there is a surface structure in our language, compared to the deep structure of what it is attempting to represent. Our aim is to achieve a reasonable level of “well formedness” between the surface and deep structure. This works in parallel to the idea of “maturity” in the Virginia Satir model and the general idea of “self-knowledge” or “authenticity”. The most obvious cases of a lack of “well-formedness” is the everyday occurrence when someone says, “I am not angry” in an angry tone, or “I’m really happy for you” with an unhappy body language and facial expression. In most cases, we present and accept a lack of well-formedness, by considering their context, but in a therapeutic context, we will notice and decide whether to question the gap between surface and deep structure. At the very least, considering the wide range of language patterns and their effects should lead us to understand that there is a difference between everyday communication and well-formed communication. In essence, most people, seeing a child wobbling on a high wall they have climbed onto, holding their ice-cream in one hand, will yell out, “Oh my god, don’t fall, get down off that wall right now” usually followed by “I knew that would happen!” as they run to pick the icecream - or the child - up from the ground.

An NLP practitioner will keep walking and look impressed at the child to say, “As you stand there so well-balanced, I am going to be so impressed when you find out how easy it is to get down back on the ground to enjoy your ice-cream”.

The Meta Model and the Milton Model When we look to examine the degree of well-formedness in our language, we use the patterns that are together called the metamodel. When we use those same patterns in a deliberate way to affect change, these are called the “Milton model”. The meta-model and the Milton model are two sides of the same coin. The best description I have heard of these two sides is: The meta-model unpicks curses, and the Milton Model weaves spells. An everyday example of the two approaches is when someone might say “I never succeed”. Approaching it from the meta-model, there is an obvious lack of congruity in the word “never”, in that the person has been able to succeed to get out of bed, dress themselves, perhaps, and speak, all successfully. There is a further lack of congruity in that they have not fully specified what it is that they have “never” succeeded in; do they mean “everything” or just in relationships or in work? We might not interrogate them on these violations of language and the lack of congruity and “well-formedness” between their surface representation and deep structure, given that they want to maintain friendship and they “don’t really mean it”. However, in an NLP coaching session, the meta-model highlights this sentence, the violations, and provides a means of unpicking the curse of that single sentence. We should recall that most of NLP is modelled from gifted therapists in the first place, so it is unsurprising it condenses a lot of what one might call “counselling-speak”.

In terms of reversing this approach with the Milton model, we might use the same language pattern - the universal quantifier of “never” - in terms of an induction: And when you are most relaxed, you never know how it happens that relaxation happens when you least expect it so that you can … Or in everyday language, we might just reply to our friend in the example, “you always say that, but then you always have a go”, or simply, “well, never say never”. The meta-model provides us an even more precise and elegant line of enquiry or response, such as “what time in your life [or what have you done], that you would say was the most successful?”[53] We will now look at the most significant language patterns through both sides of the Meta and Milton Models. There are several ways of ordering and categorising the language patterns, and the top-level categories are usually given as: DISTORTIONS

GENERALISATIONS

DELETIONS[54] Before we look at all the patterns, we will again take one specific example to demonstrate the two sides of the coin, using the same universal quantifier of “never”. As we have seen, universal quantifiers are words such as “all”, “everyone”, “never”, and “always”. You will hear them all the time, used by everyone, casually or deliberately.

When we hear this pattern, we are hearing a violation of the relationship between surface and deep structure; no-one knows everything. In the same way as “everybody hates me” cannot be true until you have met literally everybody in the world. So, we use the meta-model to unpick that curse; we hear the lack of wellformedness and we enquire in a manner specific to that pattern. In the case of a universal quantifier, we would seek to clarify counter-examples or ask for specific examples. When we learn these in NLP, sometimes they are given on Flash Cards or as scripts headed “Proposition/Challenge”. These can unfortunately train us to deliver them as a direct challenge, particularly if you practice them in a pair by trying to learn them as quickly as possible with interrogative speed. In simple terms, we might better enquire, “Hah! Not one person smiles at that place?” or for our previous example, “Really? You’re telling me that you have never succeeded at anything? I can’t believe that is the case?” Both said in a gentle and enquiring tone, or as best suited to the person and circumstances. You should adjust all the text written in this present book to suit your own style, vocabulary, and the situation. When we look to use any pattern in the opposite way, for deeper and more powerful language, we would use that pattern deliberately – this is the Milton model. In our example of a universal quantifier, we might want to say, “It’s ok, everyone has at least one bad day at work”, or “You won’t believe it, but no-one has asked me that before”. The main point before we learn these language patterns is to always be respectful of the context and overall situation before applying them to everything that everyone says. That is just annoying [to whom?] [How do you know it is annoying?]. Our Cherry Blossom elegant delivery might include:

Could you tell me …?

I’m wondering if …?

I’m curious, …?

Language Patterns The main language patterns that have proven most useful [to me] in [most] practical work [with clients] over the last thirty years are, roughly in order: Universal Quantifiers.

Modal Operators of Necessity.

Nominalisations.

Mind-reading.

Cause – Effect.

Complex Equivalencies.

Lost Performatives.

Lack of Referential Index.

Unspecified Verbs. We will look at these through the Meta-Model first and then the Milton Model, although there are significant overlaps throughout. In each section I will cover only those I have personally found useful and relevant in practice, rather than a full syntactical analysis of every linguistic pattern, which can be overwhelming and discourage learning.

META MODEL The aim of the meta-model is to enquire from the surface representation of a communication and work towards a representation that is well-formed and unambiguous. Rather than “everybody thinks I’m a loser”, we work towards a recognition that “my mother always told me I was a loser and that is reinforced every time someone seem to confirm this (obsolete and irrelevant) statement, ignoring all the praise I receive (which I never seek and actively discourage) in my successful career”. Grinder describes the impact of the meta model as: … clients are literally forced to expand/or revise the mental maps that contain the traps, flaws and limitations that prevent them from shifting to more effective and congruent behaviour.[55] There are, as we have seen, three general classes for language patterns, and approximately thirteen types, from which we will list a selection of eight in their respective classes below: Distortions 1.Mind Reading; “Simon doesn’t love me anymore…” 2.Cause - Effect; “They’re upset because I was late”. 3.Complex Equivalences; “He took that job to spite me”. 4.Lost Performative; “It’s horrible to think that…” Generalisations 1.Universal Qualifiers; “All”, “Always”, “Never” …

2.Modal Operators of Necessity; “Must”, “Should”, “Shouldn’t” … Deletions 1.Nominalisations; “My relationship isn’t working”. 2.Simple Deletions; “I am unhappy”. 3.Lack of Referential Index; “They don’t like me”. Mind-Reading Mind-reading is simply the everyday process of assuming we know what is going on for other people. We make such assumptions all the time, safe in the context that we are probably accurate enough to act upon such assumption. It is only in a therapeutic context that this becomes more of an issue, when we are looking at how such mind-reading is perhaps part of a problematic representation of the world for a client: I’m getting on people’s nerves.

Everyone thinks I’m stupid.

I know what’s good for the Directors. We will see in every representation that there may be several violations of congruity between the surface and the depth; the best curses are complex, and the evilest spells have a lot of ingredients. In the second example above we see three violations, one from each set; a universal quantifier; “everyone”, mind-reading; “thinks I am”, and a nominalisation; “stupid” (not ‘acting stupidly’ in one

particular manner). That is a hefty curse that the person has crafted for themselves. It likely took time and is all-consuming. A selection of potential responses to help unpick that curse might include: What makes you say that?

How do you know they think that?

In what way do people act that tells you they think that way?

Can you tell me how you know what’s good for the Directors? Again, we are reminded to make these enquiries in a spirit of gentle curiosity as a default position, rather than an uncaring rote repetition or an interrogation. Cause - Effect This distortion is based on our natural ability to make connections between events. We do this all the time, but when it goes wrong it can be very destructive unless challenged: You make me so angry.

People annoy me.

Here, we would want to recognise that statement of causality as a violation of deep structure, in that no-one can “make” a reaction if we choose, learn or practice a different reaction. Also, we make our reactions inside of us, no-one else can ‘make’ them in that sense. So, we might gracefully enquire: How do I make you angry?

How do people annoy you? We can then continue to explore the situation more as is rather than as told, even if it is as told within only the client - or ourselves. Complex Equivalency A complex equivalency is simply a more complex version of cause and effect. In effect, both are examples of the construction of our beliefs; we believe X because of Y, or we believe X because of Y + Z - D. These complex processes are sometimes not completely vocalised, but some aspect of them is implied. If we were to state one out in full, it might be such as the following examples: You don’t care about the project anymore – you’re never even at your desk.

You don’t love me anymore – you never bring me flowers. I give these two examples as being indicative of the need for cherry-blossom elegance rather than rote repetition in our responses as NLP practitioners. What you might say in response to these two situations, whether fully vocalised or not (e.g., “I saw Dorothy got flowers sent to her this week”) might have large consequences.

I usually present these two cases to students and give a stock response, and ask them - as I would ask the reader, now - to consider far better ways of delivering these with cherry-blossom elegance: How does me not being at my desk mean that I do not care about the project?

Do any of the people who don’t bring you flowers love you? How do you know? Of course, one might just decide to remember to buy flowers every now and again, or practice better time management at work. Context is key. Deletion Deletion is confusingly both a category and an element within that category. It is one of several cases where NLP confuses itself with using language to describe language, such as sub-modalities which are not really sub- to any other modality. Deletion commonly occurs in our communication, as we unconsciously make sense of sentences in context; we do not answer “get ready, we’re going out” every time with “who is we, precisely?”, “ready in what way?”, and “going out where?”. So deletions occur, but when we are attempting to heal or better communicate a situation, the therapist must be aware of them - and decide whether more depth is required: I’m really confused.

I like him.

Could be explored with prompting: What are you confused about?

What about him do you like? And, as with every language pattern, the reader is encouraged to listen and learn in practice how deletions are used [by whom?] and natural ways of responding. Lack of Referential Index This type of deletion is one that is fairly easy to pick up and commonly leads to further exploration of the deep structure of a situation. We see that a verb is given but it is not clear to whom or what that action belongs: It’s easy to learn.

People at work just seem to get on. If we were to interrogate these deletions of an index further, we might say: What, precisely, is easy to learn?

Who, specifically, at work, seems to just get on? In more open language, we might better prompt:

Can you tell me more about that?

I think that’s important to you - can you make sure I understand correctly; you said ‘it’s easy to learn? What’s that about? When we have the subject of the verb, the thing that the action describes or applies to, we will likely have a more solid grasp of the object in question. Lost Performative The lost performative is the partner of the lack of referential index, in that now we have deleted or lost the actor or person to whom the performance is describing. More often than not, the lost performative is the same person as describing the act: It’s wrong to give up.

This is how we should do it.

She’s acting strangely. We might want to enquire along the lines of: Wrong for whom?

Do it, for whom?

According to whom? Often, the lost performative, as it relates to identity, is accompanied by a significant change in communication, usually a shift of posture, tone, volume, speed of delivery, etc. A person regularly punished - by voice alone - as a child, might still look up and to their left, where their father or mother would have been stood. That is how sometimes we know that their significant parent was left or right-handed, by the still-present physical echo of how they had impacted the child when holding their hand. The body remembers. Modal Operators (of Necessity) One of my personal favourite things in NLP is modal operators of necessity. It is because it sounds so cool to say and is extremely useful in many situations. A modal operator is basically something applied to something else, in this case, the “necessity” of the act. There are words for both the positive and negative necessities: Should and Shouldn’t

Might and Might not

Would and Wouldn’t

Could and Couldn’t

Must and Mustn’t

Can and Can’t We use these all the time, and you can hear them a lot when you listen: I can’t do it.

I shouldn’t really go.

We mustn’t say anything to Tom.

I have to do my best.

I could do better. There are a good two ways to go about opening up a conversation with modal operators. The first is to question the generalised nature of such necessity: What stops you?

What happens to make that happen? And the second way is to go about opening or flexing alternatives:

What would happen if you did?

If you could do, rather than should do it, how does that change things? Changing a modal operator also changes - at an unconscious level - identity. A person who has always believed they must be a certain sort of person must also believe there are things they must do. If we offer them the opportunity to consider how it might be to simply “could be able” to do, then the person thinking that will immediately have to shift to a person who could think that. That is another reason I would propose that modal operators are so important. They can be remarkably effective at flexing one whole side of the therapeutic triangle and are a must for every practitioner. The Dictator. Tidying Issues/Language Patterns. Sometimes the smallest detail can cause dramatic effect. I was driving home a photographer who was complaining that they found it impossible to keep tidying up their office space. He told me that when he got back, he really should get round to doing it. I considered that he was a strong advocate for civil rights and used his life and skills to fight against dictatorship. I said to him, “When you walk into your office simply say out loud, “I could tidy up the office now”. He laughed and said that would not work as “I’ll just give myself an excuse. It’s not strong enough a statement. I really must find a way of dealing with it”. I suggested he was free to choose my suggestion or could try any other. He phoned me after the weekend, laughing, to tell me he had enjoyed tidying his office unlike any tidying up he had ever done in his life.

It turned out that he even rebelled against the dictator inside his own head. Nominalisations This frequently occurring pattern is a useful one to recognise on both sides of the Meta and Milton Model. It happens when we turn a process (verb) into a thing (noun). We often do this naturally for ease of communication, but when something is set as a simple noun, it can be very slippy in what we are then able to say about it: The relationship.

The government.

The self.

The ego.

The project.

The freedom.

The love. Or simply:

They … Often, the system eats the people when the actors become things. I have sat in many a committee where the needs of “the project” have replaced the unspoken needs of the people who will benefit from the project. A “relationship” cannot be addressed, but the people in a relationship, who are relating, can be. We can also see nominalisation happen in everyday language such as: I don’t get any trust.

I need help.

The time just flies.

I lack the confidence to … To which we can then enquire more deeply: So, how would you like to be trusted?

What does help mean to you?

When do you feel most short of time?

What does acting confidently look like to you? Sometimes, we will leave a nominalisation as it stands, so we can incorporate and utilise it when working with the Milton model. In these cases, it is better to leave sleeping dogs lie. We might also use clean language to elicit a metaphor if it seems as if the client has a strong response to their own nominalisations. Universal Quantifiers A favourite language pattern which I am always demonstrating to everyone because it never fails to amuse people all the time is this one. Again, we use it in natural language, sometimes unconsciously and sometimes for effect and exaggeration or dismissal. I’m always screwing up.

I never get rewarded.

I’ve never been angry. The stock in trade NLP answers which should act as our starters, not as our script: You’ve never ever done anything right?

You never get rewarded at all? Whereas we might prefer to go with something more along the lines of:

I hear that you think that. I suppose that everyone thinks that sometimes. What would have to happen to change that, do you think? Adding a universal qualifier to a curse is always the best way to lock it in place as it can never be broken. As such, it is always the best way to unpick the curse and weave a spell as we will see everywhere in the following section. Unspecified Verbs Another companion of lost performatives, here we have the verb, the whole verb, and nothing but the verb, but there is a distinct lack of further detail. Sometimes, we are expected to fill in the blanks, but in a therapeutic setting this is not our job: They left me alone.

My brother hurt me.

And then John arrived and destroyed everything. In this class of deletion, there is a simple response which is to request further detail: How, specifically, did they leave you?

How did your brother hurt you?

How, precisely, did John destroy everything?

The “how, specifically” we can add to the “I’m wondering…” as the two most common cliched elements of language in NLP practice. The reader is requested to develop their own natural language alternatives. EXERCISE Listen for one element of the meta-model patterns for a week at a time. When you have learnt to hear any number of them in regular speech, begin considering how you might have responded using the meta-model. When you have done this for a time, using softer leadins, test out some of the meta-model responses and see what response you get and where it leads you. Listen to those who either use these patterns naturally or have received some training in speaking, selling or other communication roles. Listen to politicians, and people who both inspire you and horrify you. How do they use these patterns? We will now immediately go to the other side of the coin and learn how we can use all these violations in terms of hypnosis for positive change - weaving a spell with words.

MILTON MODEL As we have now begun to explore, the Milton Model is a selective collection of language patterns originally modeled by Bandler & Grinder whilst observing Milton H. Erickson. We have seen how they often act as linguistic markers of curses and constraints through the meta-model. It is considered the third model of NLP, the first being the meta model and the second being the representational systems model.[56] We will now see how we can utilize these same patterns to weave a better spell. As these language patterns often invoke transderivational searches, access deep structure, and require unconscious processing, they serve to build the hypnotic state. They also serve to produce persuasive communication, healing potential and other positive resource states. Their use re-focuses attention and in some cases, evokes a disassociation between the conscious and unconscious processes. Again, there is some confusion in the titles and definitions of terminology in NLP. There are the language patterns of the metamodel and Milton model, and there are also Milton model language patterns, which refers to the general range of language patterns employed by Erickson and modelled by Bandler and Grinder.[57] In this book, I will cover the standard Milton Model patterns first and then provide a wider summary of the Milton Language Patterns.[58] I think it is important to note that this bag of tricks cannot be applied merely by saying the words out loud. There are other factors that are in play during a session: Rapport; in respect of yourself and your client, and your relationship.[59]

Congruence; in state, voice, and action.

Clarity; in thought, heart, and body.

Flexibility; in a dance with the client’s shifting truth. Almost certainly, without rapport and congruence, the following patterns will remain merely words, not the magical spells we intend to weave. As with the previous examples from the side of the meta-model, I have selected those patterns that I have personally found easiest and most effective to apply in practice over the years. Most of these patterns are given for hypnotherapeutic usage but can also be utilized in casual conversation if communicated in context. Mind Reading We saw how mind-reading is often used in the negative when seen through the meta-model, such as “She doesn’t care”. In the reverse, we can utilization mind-reading to assist another person go into trance and change their own state for the better. This is useful at the early stage and late stage of the hypnotherapeutic process to assist rapport-building during the Intro phase, produce fail-safe statements, and install post-hypnotic suggestions in the Outro phase. The classic and simplest fail-safe mind-reading pattern copied from Erickson is: “That’s right …” [usually vocalized in the same slow drawl as Erickson himself]. When we consider this from the meta-model, we can see it contains several violations of well-formedness; what is right, in what way is it right, and to whom is it right? Not only that, those two (three) words imply that we know what is happening in the mind of the other person, i.e., mind-reading.

Another example of mind-reading during the intro phase is: And unconsciously, I see that you are not aware yet that you are moving your hands as we talk … This establishes several useful relationship elements, leveraging a meta-model violation; unconsciously to whom? It also contains a pacing statement, “yet”, and a truism, “as we talk.” There is also the conversational postulate and embedded command, as when the client then looks at their hands – which is highly likely – you can continue to say: So how many other things is your unconscious doing, not only breathing deeply now, but relaxing your eye muscles so that soon you can relax your hands … watching them relax now, that’s right … Simple but effective language patterns such as mind-reading are an elegant way of helping the client focus and leveraging conscious/unconscious disassociation. Another useful example is of the type: I know that you are learning [many] new things.

As you feel those things, you can take time to … In the Outro phase, you may choose to say something like: And in a moment, that relaxation you are feeling, all those curious thoughts you had, all those unconscious changes, will be ready to come with you as you return, and you know unconsciously how soon those changes will be made in your life …

This post-hypnotic suggestion also leverages causal linking, which we will also look at later in this section. There is also the presupposition that changes will be made – the only question is how soon. Non-Mind-Reading We should note that you do not need to mind-read to establish rapport. A simple usage of verbal mirroring will suffice to demonstrate that you understand the client: I can see that you are angry.

I can feel that you are sad. If you wish to explore that state, these simple mirroring statements can be followed with a conversational postulate + a clean language prompt as a tag question: … and I’m wondering what sort of sadness is that sad? This also serves to differentiate the therapist from the family-set of the client, who will usually only be making the mirroring statement, often incongruently with their own state. When the therapist makes it – congruently – and allows the client to explore that state – they offer the client a new experience which can be extremely liberating. The cliches of counselling and therapy are often those arising from common usage because they are effective; “and how are you feeling about that?” being the classic. Cause - Effect As a useful deepener, amongst other things, the cause & effect pattern implies that one state or event causes another. These

statements also serve to pace or lead the client, so must be timely to the experience being presented. A long run of these statements can be a highly effective deepener. And the harder you try to listen, the more relaxed you will [can] become. Or, if the client is already deeper into the state: And the more you listen, the more relaxed you are becoming. In this example above, note the changed tenses which have the effect of changing the pace, from “you listen”, to “more relaxed” to “you are becoming”. Stacking a State It is often effective to use repetition to stack a state, using the cause & effect pattern: And the deeper you go, the deeper you go.

So the more you relax, the more you have learned to relax … and the more you are relaxing, the deeper that relaxation goes now … there we go … now … that’s relaxing more, isn’t it? Complex Equivalence

The development of a simple cause and effect, when we utilize complex equivalences, we also open out the range of unconscious processing: As you learnt to read, you can learn to change … and change happens fast.

In doing all those things you prepared yourself with the resources for this …

Just to think, how even in breathing we know exactly what to do for anything. Nominalization As we saw in the meta-model, a nominalization is a verb (process or activity) that has been turned into a noun. A noun is something you can put in a wheelbarrow. Stating “I’m sad” is very different to stating, “I’m experiencing the state of sadness”. The phrase “He doesn’t give me the freedom to …” indicates that being free – a verb, i.e. “to be free” has been turned into a noun – “the freedom”, in which case, using the meta-model we might ask, “how would you like to be free?” In our developing hypnotic language, we can pepper our statements with appropriate uses of nominalizations to provide the client many opportunities to make unconscious links to their own resources, desires and experience: I wonder if you really know yet how this wonderful feeling will provide you with new insights, a new understanding, and a new freedom.

Take that relaxation and double it.

Looking at the hurt in this way changes it, doesn’t it? Turning the Tables Other common nominalization examples from clients include: The truth.

Our communication is bad.

… the respect I deserve. In hypnosis, we could utilise these in the heart of our language as: And that communication, looking at it now, seeing how it could be brighter, even clearer, polishing it …

The truth is brief, but you can choose now to hold onto it …

That respect, seeing it grow as you change …

Obviously, respect is not an ‘it’ – you cannot put it into a wheelbarrow - rather one acts in a respectful way to another, but in trance language, using a nominalization also makes a metaphor possible: Respect comes slowly, moving up from deep roots and when it’s strong enough, and the time is right, putting out new branches, new leaves … growing … Lost Performative We recall that a lost performative occurs often when there is a value judgment, and the performer of the value judgment is left out. In the Milton Model, we utilize this pattern to encourage the client: And it's really great that you are taking the time to do so …

That’s right, it is easy to relax when relaxation is remembered …

Healing happens when the heart and mind are open. Universal Quantifiers These are likely one of the most effective tools in the induction of a hypnotic state and the interventional language we might employ in trance. They are useful in everything and all the time: And everything that you learn here can be remembered, as you hear, hear all the things ...

We never know when we are learning deeply even as we listen to everything …

Relaxing is always the easiest thing to do when we let go of all those thoughts.

There is never a better time to focus than now.

Every time you breath you can take time to notice everything that is quiet. Modal Operators of Necessity We usually soften or switch modal operators of necessity in our inductions to match the context and client. If a client responds better to open suggestions we might use “could” rather than “should” but if a client is following instructions to learn how to self-hypnotize, we would switch to “should” … You should be feeling less focused now.

You can learn more than you might think.

The relaxation might be noticed first in your legs or your arms.

And as we feel we must be strong we can also feel many things. As an NLP practitioner, we must not use “must not” unless we have deliberation. We would recognize that saying “you mustn’t worry” is an elicitation of “worry” by the unconscious in order that the conscious mind can figure out what not to do. We might consider our unconscious as a child balancing on a wall with an ice-cream and what we can say, if anything at all, that will be most helpful. These are the patterns that I have personally found most useful, in separation or in combination, in building strong communication. We will now leave the Milton/Meta Model and look at a wider range of language patterns.

Ericksonian Language Patterns In addition to the Milton Model, there are also many other language patterns that were used by Milton H. Erickson with any number of possible variants or combinations. The ten listed below are a good range with which to make initial practice until adding further patterns to your vocabulary. 1. You may or may not … notice the relaxation in your hands. You may or may not remember everything consciously. You may or may not know yet how relaxing hypnosis can be. 2. I’m wondering if […], or not. I’m wondering if you’ll relax quickly, or not. I’m wondering if we’re ready to begin now, or not. [or not – tag question overcoming objection]. 3. People can, you know, […] People can, you know, find positive changes happening quickly. [Ambiguity of people, matched to ‘you know’ suggesting a truth which cannot be verified and therefore not resisted]. 4. Maybe you haven’t … yet. Maybe you haven’t found yourself able to let go yet. Maybe you haven’t found this sense of peace for yourself yet. Maybe you haven’t started to explore all the endless and new possibilities yet.

5. One might, you know … know when it’s time to change quickly. You might want to [ …], … now. You might want to listen carefully as you close your eyes now. – or – You might want to listen carefully as you close your eyes … now. 6. You could […]. You could find yourself wondering later how quickly you had changed. [Notice also use of combination of future tense, ‘later’ and past tense ‘had’]. You could wonder what other foods you will begin to like, could you not? [Notice use of tag question]. 7. […] because […]. You’ll probably find it gets easier to forget you ever smoked as each day goes by because that’s how it becomes easier every day to have given up. [Just because does not have to make conscious sense and in longer sentence structures and fragments can bypass conscious rationalisation altogether leading to what are in effect, powerful double-binds]. 8. How would it feel if […]? How would it feel to be positive every day from the moment you woke up?

How would it feel if you had even more confidence? How would it feel if you were able to be more decisive? How would it feel if you were a lot more resilient than you think? [Even if the answer quickly veers to the negative habitual responses, in order to process the statement, the client has to access the feeling of being positive. Using such a pattern at the initiation of the induction or change-work session frames the session positively, gently challenges the client’s inability to generate the particular resource, and often leads to an unconscious process culminating in the client feeling far more positive at the completion of the session and immediately thereafter. In a sense, it is a seed of Hope]. 9. I could tell you that […] but […]. I could tell you that you’ll be surprised by how easy you find it to relax when you listen to me, but I’d prefer to let you find that out for yourself. I could tell you that your resistance is about to let go, but we can wait for that to happen naturally. [Used with tonality marking, spatial anchoring, or simply fixing eye-contact whilst the embedded command is delivered, this is a simple means of bypassing resistance]. 10. Can you really enjoy […]? Can you really enjoy going even deeper into relaxation? Can you really enjoy noticing your eyes feeling heavier and closing? We will now look at several other major patterns in Ericksonian Language Patterns, including pacing, extended quotes, single and

double-binds, ambiguities, and tag questions, which seems a lot, doesn’t it? Pacing Current Experience Also useful during the Intro phase is a pacing of current experience with lots of connecting words: And as you look around the room, seeing the picture, the chair, the books, your unconscious is already ready to begin to relax … This also uses a causal link – there is no particular reason why the looking around the room means that the clients unconscious is actually ready to do anything. Pacing current experience can be useful to guide a ‘wandering’ client and re-establish rapport: Now that you’ve opened your eyes again, looking at me, frowning slightly, and you can see, can’t you, that there are many things in the room you cannot see with your eyes closed again now that you’re ready to relax even further this time … The embedded command in there that would be marked by changed tonality or a visual anchor (moving your hand down, for example) and this further allows the ambiguous link between “closed again - now – (that you’re ready)” and the eyes opening. Extended Quotes As an optional lead-in to a trance induction, and as a confusional or over-stacking technique, you can weave stories within stories within quotes. I once counted Richard Bandler nesting twelve such extensions and closing most of them off when he’d finished, which John Lavalle had joked about him not always finishing every loop, which when I told my wife, she reminded me that I had to return a call from that client who had the problem with his daughter who’d told him that her boyfriend had been unfaithful with that young girl

who’d been talking about her at the Robbie Williams concert … although I may have lost count at some point in those three hours … As another example: I know you’re a little nervous about hypnosis, but as one client said to me last week “when I first told my friend at work, I was having hypnosis, they said their brother had quit smoking with hypnotherapy and said to them ‘I was’ – how did he put it? – the Hypnotherapist had said to him, ‘it’s really a natural process’ and it really was, they said’”. They also found it a wonderfully natural process. We have embedded the phrase, “it really was” as a suggestion within the nested narratives, to bypass the conscious filter. In everyday speech, such nesting can be simply annoying or confusing for no purpose - here, we are utilizing it in a specific manner to achieve a specific effect.

Single and Double Binds We will now conclude this chapter on a language pattern with the most fundamental significance in change-work, the double bind. This is one which when you have heard you will hear in the most significant of circumstances, such as “we can easily do the paperwork now or later, what works best for you?”, which implies that the decision to which the paperwork applies has already been made by you, even if you do not yet know it - or, even, if you are ready to make that decision. We will recognize binds in many circumstances; “Don’t answer me back” or “You only say those things when you are angry”. Erickson talks about his first encounter with the double bind when being asked by his father on their farm whether he wanted to feed the chickens or hogs first? He came to realize that he was being given a primary choice, but this privilege rested on his acceptance of the secondary choice, about whether to perform the chores or not.[60] He goes on to tell the story about his first utilization of such a powerful bind, in helping his father get a calf back into a barn, which it was resisting. His father had been pulling it by the halter towards the barn, but it was bracing itself against any such effort. Erickson considered the matter and then tried pulling the tail of the animal away from the barn, whilst his father continued to pull the other direction. Given the discomfort of being pulled in the other direction, the calf could not do anything other than to drag Erickson quickly back into the barn with it.[61] Before we learn to recognize and utilize binds, this is what Erickson further said about them: Now it really doesn’t matter what your conscious mind does because it is your unconscious that will find new possibilities that your conscious mind is unaware of or may have forgotten. Now you don’t know what these new possibilities are, do you? Yet your unconscious can work on them all by itself. And how will they be communicated to your conscious mind? Will they come in a dream or a quiet moment of reflection? Will you

recognize them easily at a conscious level or will you be surprised? Will you be eating, shopping, or driving a car when they come? You don’t know but you will be happy to receive them when they do come. In this series of double binds consciousness is depotentiated by not knowing and the unconscious is facilitated by a number of truisms about the autonomy of the unconscious and the many possible ways it has of communicating with consciousness. The person is in a double bind with a positive metalevel of hopeful expectation for constructive work. But because his conscious mind cannot deal directly with the unconscious, the limitations of the conscious level are held in check until the unconscious can marshal a solution through some original problem solving.[62] The double bind does not work by magic. It only works if it fits an appropriate need or frame of reference within the patient.[63] Erickson speaks of the later problems he had when experimenting with such binds during his school and college years, concluding that they work best in the long-term when presented in favour of the other, not the self.[64] Rossi also suggests that such binds are only effective once a number of conditions have been made, such as the motivation for change being elicited and a “strong alliance” being formed between the therapist and the “many different sides and levels within the patient”.[65] The most effective binds are those where the stalemate is placed into a negative light, the choice presented as an easy alternative, and an appropriate need is identified. Further, Erickson also used multiple binds, double and triple, in a confusional manner and utilising the framework of the client, to achieve a sense of fascination. This facilitated the new behaviour of the client, particularly when reinforced with post-hypnotic suggestions. We will now look at several examples of single and double bind. The reader can select which of these will be most easily learnt or effective for their own future use.[66]

Single Bind The simplest structure of a single bind is as follows: Don’t [current behaviour] unless you really want [outcome]. In everyday speech, we might find examples such as: Don’t look in that room unless you want to spoil your surprise.

I’d ask you not to sign the contract until you’ve had a moment to think about how right it is for you.

Don’t spend too much time out unless you really want to upset me. However, in hypnotherapy, we might want to utilise this pattern for more positive effect: Don’t close your eyes until you are ready to relax.

There’s no need to think about anything in particular as you listen to my voice.

You don’t need to do anything other than notice the silence between my words or not to be able to feel the chair beneath you as you relax into it.

There’s no need to open your eyes until you feel ready that your unconscious has begun to create so many alternatives for a more decisive future. There are several more varieties of the single bind, but hopefully these examples suffice to begin easy practice before mastering the double bind. Double Bind Whilst there are many complex varieties of the double bind, we will focus on these two: Would you like to [outcome 1] or [outcome 2] whilst you [bound outcome]?

I don’t know if [outcome 1] or [outcome 2] but I do know [truism]. The first ensures that both the bound outcome and one (or none) of the alternative outcomes are likely to be chosen by the client: Would you like to keep your eyes open or close them whilst we go into trance?

Would you like to keep your arms folded or not to get more comfortable? And the second binds two similar outcomes to a truism:

I don’t know if the answer will come in a sudden realisation or gradually, but I do know change comes to everything.

I don’t know if you will find it easy or comfortable to give up smoking, but I do know you are not smoking now. We can then apply subtle binds within our overall intervention: It’s difficult to lose control when you have to think about it so much.

And when you seem so confident that you have no confidence … it’s good to know you are that confident, isn’t it?

And you tell your daughter, just as your mother told you, don’t be like me. Time Double Bind A simple double bind utilised by Erickson was to offer an opportunity for the client to discover a cooperative principle between their conscious and unconscious, and reduce tension in the client having to recognise and report change: Would you like to [outcome] [time option 1] or [time option 2]?

I don’t know if [outcome] will occur [time option 1] or [time option 2]. So, we can suggest: Would you like to tell me more about that now or after I’ve told you about how I work?

I don’t know if your confidence will grow gradually or in little or big steps. Because Frame Another variation of double bind is the use of a because frame: You may find (current state) … because (suggestion). We might use this in induction or intervention, and even outduction: You may find yourself thinking about so many things because when we relax deeply such thoughts happen first.

You may find yourself feeling nervous because it is important to remain open to how fast change can happen.

You may find it difficult to open your eyes because you have many more unconscious positive changes which will continue to happen long after your eyes are open now. Tag Questions

And after all these language patterns, we will just add one more which is useful, being the tag question. This is a conversational and sometimes off-hand question added after a statement, designed to displace resistance: It’s good to relax, isn’t it?

You can feel that, can’t you?

Everyone knows that - don’t they? Putting It All - Together I know that you are learning new things... and it's really great that you are taking the time to learn new things... because... that means... you really care about your future... and everything that you learn here, as you hear all the things... that you can learn...will provide you with new insights, and new understandings. And you can, can’t you? One can, you know. And it's more or less the right thing to be able to do so. You are looking at this paper, reading these words, and in some way understanding them, and that means that your unconscious mind is also here, and can hear what I say. And since that's the case, you are probably learning about this and already know more at an unconscious level than you think you do, and it's not right for me to tell your unconscious, learn this or learn that, let your unconscious learn in any way it wants, in any order, while your conscious mind enjoys that process. Do you feel this... is something you understand? Horse-Whisperer. Teaching/Listening. NLP training courses often attract a diverse group of students. One course I taught comprised of an ex-RAF pilot, a counsellor, a dentist, a teacher, and a woman who ran horse-whispering courses for senior management.

On the second day I approached the horse-whisperer to discuss the training. I told her that I could understand how the rapportbuilding, mirroring, and matching would assist her with the horses, but I was concerned she would not be able to translate the language patterns for the horses. She looked at me quizzically and flatly said, “It is for the managers, you know.” You can imagine that the remaining two days of the course were punctuated by students naughtily asking after every exercise, “oh, great and illustrious teacher, how will this one work for the horses?”.

Practice: Adverbs and Verbs We can easily add amazing adverbs and voluminous verbs into our communication which will quickly deepen a state. Whilst these are not encouraged in writing prose, they are wonderfully powerful in slowly changing a state. I encourage students to list and learn a rapidly extensive list of descriptors such as: Slowly, quickly, calmly, easily

Wonderfully, surprisingly

Deeply, Gently, Softly, Safely, quietly And several powerful adverbs: Truly

Curiously

Remarkably

Simply

Strangely

In the same way we might not use an elevator metaphor with a client evidencing claustrophobia or a garden metaphor with a client suffering from agoraphobia, there are a few verbs and adverbs that might be best avoided in general use: Sleeping, use instead: Relaxing, Dreaming

Falling, Slipping, use instead: Moving Example … Isn’t it just one of the nicest things to not know how it will feel to be unnoticeably focused on your own deepest relaxed state? As you are deeply curious to notice how wonderfully surprising it can be to find more gently arising thoughts and even stranger words like dreams when you softly slip into something like a warm, relaxing, calming bath. So slowly to relax in your own time is a comforting sense of being truly in touch with that clear part of yourself …

Universal and Specific Around the Table. Universal & Specific/Rapport. I was once at a sales meeting in Thailand as I needed to upgrade the laptops of a group of salesmen (they were all men) in one place at the same time. I got invited to join them for a meal out one early evening at the restaurant Ka Jok See in Phuket, and it was nice to sit eating Fern Salad and Chicken Lemon with a table of twelve people who were all from different regions; across the US, Germany, Italy, Japan, the U.K., and two new folks from India. As we ate and talked, I noticed it was an unbelievably easy conversation, full of insights and delight, sharing stories and learning. I began looking and listening with my “NLP mind” to see what was happening and noticed that the main salesman was subtly managing the whole conversation in a very particular way. He was switching the whole table between universal and specific, keeping a course between them so neither dominated. He would raise or encourage a relatively universal subject, such as education, parents, children, traffic, and then, before it got too dull and boring, i.e., talking about the weather, he would naturalistically ask one person a very specific question or encourage them to share a unique story, i.e., the time Advik went to the dentist in Meerut and ended up with a cricket bat. He did not let any one specific tale go on at length, but gently encouraged a universal out of that specific, i.e., raise to the whole table the subject of health provision around the world. And he managed to do this all evening, switching the whole table around between universal and specific, even when smaller conversations were running in parallel between different parts of the table. It was, I mused at the end of such a delightful evening, sometime later that Wednesday night, no surprise that he was the head of sales. Mastering the Flow of Conversation

There is nothing that makes conversation more difficult than speaking on different levels than the other people in the room. We regularly and naturally move up and down levels – called “chunking” in NLP – whilst we communicate. Here we will demonstrate this movement and learn to “calibrate” it whilst we communicate in groups.

Universals & Specifics Game In two groups, create a list of 20 “universals” – these are things you have ALL done at some time, and think will be “universal” to everyone in the other group as well. You may think of such things as “had breakfast” or “been born”, or “learnt to read” or “rode on a bus”. Try and make them universal but interesting! Then make another list of 20 “specifics” – things that you have experienced as individuals that you are fairly sure no-one in your group OR the other group will have experienced. A few examples might be “I have met Bill Clinton”, “I have shot a cannon”, or “I was once lost in Istanbul”. Again, try and choose outlandish ones or humorous ones! Then each group in turn goes through the Universal list. If the other group has anyone in it that hasn’t experienced one of the things on the list (please be polite and respect privacy in your suggestions by the way – and no-one has to own up if you don’t want to!) the group gets one strike. Then go through the specifics list. On this occasion, if the other group contains someone who HAS done or experienced something on that list, the group get a strike. Once one group has read out their universals and specifics, the other group do likewise. The group with the least strikes wins. If neither group have any strikes or a draw, well done! You can now play “Guess who belongs to each specific” and the group who guesses most in the other group which person belongs to each specific wins! Conclusion We lose rapport when we do not recognise the level of conversation in terms of chunking. A good group communication ranges easily across all levels from the specific to the universal. It may be a safe communication to stay universal, but it is very dull and bland. A conversation that is entirely specific to one subject or one person is very one-sided.

When next holding a group meeting, consider how the conversation ranges in this context of “chunking”. You can easily move the flow along by ensuring it does not stick at one level – if it is being too universal, simply ask “What specific examples can we talk about?” or if it is too specific, ask “Is this part of something else?” and of course there are many questions that move a conversation up and down – perhaps you can list a few yourself? For example: UP: “Is there anyone else who feels that?”, “Is that the same everywhere?” DOWN: “What about the situation yesterday?”, “Can you tell me (us) more about that?” Chunking A meta-pattern of a person’s world-view and strategies, chunking is the level of detail which is experienced by a person. We tend to go up/down chunk levels as we deal with different situations. Most people have a ‘preferred’ level of chunking to which they will try and reach and where they feel most comfortable. As a change-agent (therapist, coach, friend, etc.), we must be prepared to assist the client move through different levels of chunking, to elicit more detail safely and comfortably where helpful, or help the client elegantly see a bigger picture. We can use the Meta-Model questions as a means of moving through chunking levels, but we must use these questions in rapport with the client. To Chunk Down Ask “How does that happen?” Or the meta-model prompt, “What specifically?” (or a variation of that). Or to get a specific instance “Can you give me an example of when that happens?” To Chunk Up You can simply ask, “Why?” Or you can prompt, “Is this a case of something bigger overall?”

To Chunk Across Ask, “And that’s like what?” Chunking has many useful applications. You can use it as a means of moving a client around an issue and uncovering other attachments. EXERCISE Crossword Chunking for Lateral Thinking & Problem Solving A strategy for taking someone out of their problem-state (and all its associations), getting a wider perspective (re-framing) and then dropping them down into a new solution (positive outcome frame) is to chunk as follows: 1 UP + 1 ACROSS + 1 UP + 1 ACROSS + 1 DOWN. That is to say, someone in a situation where they have been offered a new job but are unsure about taking it, could be asked, “Is this an example of what, would you say?” [They might reply, “fear of the unknown”]. Then across by asking “Yeah, fear is interesting isn’t it … it’s like in horror films where – “ [the person might say, “everybody always walks out into the woods even though they know the monster is there”]. Then go up again, by saying, “Of course, horror films are not the only sort of films – in fact, films are just a case of entertainment in general, aren’t they?” [to which the person should agree]. Then across again [now in lateral thinking territory!] by asking “What sort of entertainment do you like other than films?” [the person may respond with anything, such as “mountain biking”]. Then drop all the way back down to the original subject and level of chunking, “So if this were a decision about mountain biking, what would you do?” [to which the person might say, “well, I guess I’d just take the risk, I’m pretty sure when I’m biking that a route is never as difficult as it looks”. You can then extend that metaphor/resource state. Note: You can, like many of these meta-patterns, leverage them to change a client’s state in hypnotherapy inductions by rapidly shifting from one chunk level to

another, which is not common language and requires the unconscious to fill in the missing levels. For example: “You know, there are many sports [chunk level] – have you ever been to a stadium when it’s empty, it’s so quiet [embedded command with tonality marking] - and there are many other times when people get together to relax, such as classical music concerts [same chunk level] but can you imagine getting ready for a birthday party, like when you were a child [regression] and there are balloons [ambiguity – where are the balloons?] but each balloon has a different color [down a chunk level] and there are words on each balloon, you see, “quiet”, “relax”, “comfort”, “safe” [embedded quotes] and now the whole stadium is full of balloons, can you imagine that? [Two chunk levels together] Watching those balloons floating away now …” Think about scripts involving: Forest – Trees – Individual Leaves Shorelines – Ocean – Individual Waves and Grains of Sand Night Sky – Stars I also like doing this with time chunks: “And no-one needs to know how the earth revolves around the sun in such an orbit because we know that the seasons change and even as you listen to the ticking of each second hand on the clock, we feel that summer will bring lighter days [light daze] and we can see so many changes because the trees know how far away the sun is even like every blade of grass on those huge lawns you might remember from a long time ago …” The Policeman Who Could Count. Confidence/Chunking. A policeman who thought nothing of walking into dangerous situations every day came to me with a dilemma. He had been offered a promotion, but it meant that he would have to address large groups – something of which he was completely terrified. In

fact, when he was in the mess room of his station, he hid behind a newspaper should more than three people be in the room, as he became incapable of talking. I asked him if it was indeed that specific – three, not four, three, not two? He said, with some astonishment, that it was definitely three – he could talk to three, but not four. As he described situations in which this had occurred I asked him to close his eyes so he could “describe more detail” (chunking down) such as what people were wearing, the veneer of the table, the feel of the chair in the mess room, outside sounds etc. As he chunked down, I dropped him into a light trance state. I began to ask obviously ridiculous questions; did he know the weight of the people he was talking to? Was it a culmination of their weight that stopped him being able to talk? [We had ascertained he was able to talk, albeit to only three people at most, so there was no intervention or skill introduction required at this point]. Would it matter if the people were small? If they were very small, could he talk to more of them? These ridiculous questions were continually posed, so he became more exasperated with their silliness. As he entered that state, I began to introduce the idea of counting in larger and more general chunks; how many years had he been with the police (“lots”), how many stars could he see from his house at night when he got home late (“thousands”) and so forth. I then began moving the counting (utilizing it also to deepen the trance state) to sets of numbers; how many beer cans were usually in one crate; how many eggs in a small box (half-a-dozen); how many cigarettes in a pack – how many packs in a carton – what number of cars would it take to put three cartons in for smuggling (one) – and so on. I further utilised the examples of his work that he had told me about. I then focused his attention on his hands (embodiment) and asked him how many fingers were on one hand. I told him to count the fingers and lift them, and after several repetitions, to gently clench his fist and make “one fist”. We repeated this with the other hand. I then asked him to unclench his fists (a physical metaphor for a release of tension and an anchor) and count to four with his fingers

and then gently close his hand and say softly “one hand”. We put the stress on “one”. As he repeated this, I overlaid [collapsed] a gentle repetition of “on the one hand [pun] you might have four people you can hold in the palm of your hand [heavy repetition/metaphor] but on the other hand you can hold another four fingers now in one hand …” I repeated the stress on “one”, collapsing the number “four” into “one”. As he went into an even deeper state of trance – now more focused on his hands and counting – his hands started to show natural and unconscious movements; they just started to gently flicker up and down. To close the session, I spoke about how many hairs were on the back of our fingers, and how we never noticed such detail; all the pores in our skin, the wrinkles, how many thousands were just on one hand, etc. This allowed us to take the example of “four” being “one”, to any number of items of detail being chunked to “one” thing. I recall throwing in “lots of people is one crowd”, “a lot of horses is one herd”, etc. I then brought him back to normal awareness and asked him to flex his hands a few times. He reported he felt slightly odd yet also very relaxed, although he did not talk much at the end of the session. I received feedback later by telephone, as requested, and he had accepted the promotion and told me he now had no further issues with talking with groups, although he had not yet done formal presentations. He was now able to address his new team, and although nervous, it had not prevented him from taking on the new role. Having looked at language patterns in both the Meta and Milton models, we will now plug these into a basic template for inducing a hypnotic state. We will then cover many examples and methods of utilising patterns in hypnotherapy or in non-trance NLP. It is of note that many straight “open eye” methods of NLP induce a form of hypnosis, as they were originally modelled from Milton H. Erickson in a form that could be presented out of the hypnotic frame.

HYPNOSIS & INDUCTIONS

Basic Induction Protocol Hypnosis is essentially a refined way of communicating with a patient who is in a state of concentration.[67] Although any session will be unique, even with the same client, there is a basic protocol we can learn at the beginning of our hypnotherapy work. This covers the most likely steps in sequence to assure a complete session. This induction protocol follows any initial elicitation and administrative stages as may be required, e.g., discussing the issue, recording the current details and medical situation of the client, ensuring there are no contra-indications to hypnosis, etc. We will cover these later in this present book. We will look at several recommended elicitation steps in the next section, but first we will look at what steps we might follow to conduct the induction stage: Set expectation & inoculate against obvious objections. [68]

Gain Rapport.

Gain Attention.

Create Disassociation.

Agree congruence of altered state.

Deepen altered state (utilisation).

Access resources, make intervention, etc. for clinical goals.

Set post-hypnotic suggestions (time-space).

Return to normal waking state. [Utilise openness to suggestion which follows re-orientation for a few minutes – this can be a deeply altered state for the client also as they begin to process their previous altered experience] - Adapted from Lankton, S.R. & Lankton, C.H. The Answer Within. These steps can be started even within the first few minutes of the session, in a process known as seeding. As we might guess, Erickson was very able in this method; he would sometimes plant a seed of an idea and not return to it for several sessions or weave it back in almost unnoticeably after a few minutes of other work which might seem to have been going in another direction. A simple example is to point out something in the room to which you might later return; the ticking of a clock, the sound of birds outside the window, etc. This can be mentioned in a casual conversational posture, such as “let’s just ignore the birds chattering outside”, or “we have plenty of time, as the clock behind you tells

me”, or “oh, just adjust the chair to take it out of that bit of light, the sun is low today”. Later in that same session, as we move down the steps above, we might be able to weave in, “…as busy thoughts fly away like chattering birds”, or “deeper - adjusting our body to a lower level making light of our load”. Basic Inductions Before we start with hypnotic inductions, however, we are going to practice speaking. And thinking about speaking. And speaking about thinking. Take a moment to recognise now that you will never ever be able to listen and speak in the same way again after a few days of practising these exercises. Are you sitting comfortably? Then we will begin.

Pivot Grammar It is often that a mere spoken aside can provoke a new thread of thought, a line of enquiry or be developed into a pattern or method. In NLP terms, these asides are called “meta-comments” and the practitioner should always be alert for them. These meta-comments include all comments said in a slightly different voice than the surrounding sentences, with an exclamation or inhalation, with raised eyebrows or other marker (whether conscious or otherwise) or using a slightly modified vocabulary or modifier such as “slightly”. Sometimes they are rushed or squeezed into the main communication, or simply said as an “aside”. They may also be clearly marked as an aside, for example, when a person says, “just sayin’” in a joking voice, or “you know?” as a rhetorical question. When I taught my sixteen-year old son this pattern on a car journey ahead of a new term at school, I asked him to tell me how many meta-comments he could observe in the day – both listening to fellow students or teachers. When he got home that night, I asked him, and he replied with some exasperation; “Well, you know, of course, I had to switch it off inside my head by lunchtime, because it was driving me mad hearing them all”. In the case of pivot grammar, the aside was by Richard Bandler during a three-hour monologue, and he was not referring to the usual meaning of pivot grammar. The usual meaning is to identify a particular form of speech in the early development of language when a child might put two words together such as “allgone” (‘the sweets have all been eaten”) or “daddyshoe” (“Daddy, put my shoe on please”).

Bandler used pivot grammar to refer to a form of confusional language pattern where we can switch each pair of two words in a sentence and repeat them in the reverse order – ‘pivoting’ each pair of words. He demonstrated this as an aside, very briefly, but I thought it fascinating and have since developed it as part of my own language patterns. As an example, if I say, “My name is Marcus Katz” the pivot version would be: “My name/name my” (first pivot) “is Marcus/Marcus is” (second pivot) “Katz/Katz” (repeat the final word if there is no further word to pivot). A longer example would be: “This is is this an example example an of pivot pivot of grammar grammar”. On my workshops, I usually introduce this as the very first exercise in place of the usual round-table introductions. I ask people to introduce themselves using pivot grammar, which I then demonstrate. I ask them to then tell us who they are, what they do and how they travelled to the workshop today using pivot grammar. It is a fun ice-breaker and serves another purpose – it creates its own meta-comment; this workshop is nothing like anything else you will experience in terms of expectations and language. Your first exercise is to practice pivot grammar whenever you can, in the car driving, out loud, waiting for an appointment, any time you can spend to practice, where you can do it out loud, even if quietly. Why learn this? Why practice any of this? Your application of NLP will of course depend on which methods and exercises work for you best, but these core exercises are suggested to build a firm foundation for later work.

In this case, you are also installing (another term used in NLP, meaning to install a pattern so it becomes second-nature, habitual or unconscious) a delay between your language-processing and your actual speech. A micro-second delay between thinking something and saying it. It is in that micro-second that we will be placing a whole toolkit of options, so it is good to make space. If you would like a further practice, try pivoting on three words after a while getting used to two words. As an example: I thought that that thought I using two words words two using was difficult enough enough difficult was but it seems seems it but even harder using using harder even three words words three. We have to just pair those last two words as we do not have three to play with. Once you can do this with relative ease, ease relative with this do can you once, why not see how many words you can can you words many how see not why do this with with this do? Workshop Tip: If you use this in a workshop, observe yourself how people act when they are trying to speak in pivot grammar. Then ask the group to identify who did naturally best at it and who found it more challenging. You are usually then able to point out that the people doing it best moved their head from side to side, counted out beats on their fingers, or used other unconscious strategies to ‘split’ and ‘hold’ their word pairs whilst they turned them around in their head. These strategies can be identified by the observation of physical patterns and are the first ‘proof’ of NLP approaches to the group. Further, as we will see later, it is an easy confusional method to use during the deepening phase of a hypnotic induction. If you practice it now, you will already have mastered something that can be utilised to extreme effect later in this book. We will next look at another simple practice which again will prove a firm foundation for later work. It is relatively easy and

introduces a mainstay of what we will later see is an Ericksonian language pattern.

Linking Words The linking words include: and … or … as … which … whilst … so … because … when … whilst … then … to … if … until … To practice, simply try to speak for as long as possible without ending a sentence. You may know people who speak like this naturally: So as I was saying to Barry he didn’t really seem to have a clue about what was going on, so I said to him, I did, that the last time Sharon went on and on about her kids and what they did at school that last summer when he was away, it was driving me up the wall because it does, doesn’t it – that sort of thing, people going on and on about themselves, well it doesn’t bear thinking about does it, because who knows what can go on if you’re not around like when I went away that week to Spain it was like, really, the worst thing because … Our aim is to utilise that overload on the conscious mind and language processing to slightly more benefit than our example above. Having practiced and installed a ‘breaker’ and a ‘linker’ pattern in our natural speech, we can now begin to look at the content of a hypnotic induction pattern.

The Most Basic Hypnotic Pattern (T+T+S) To practice the most basic hypnotic pattern, simply put together two true statements of observable and experiential facts and link them to a suggestion. Following on from our linking words, you can practice this pattern at length. Here we take two statements of fact: There is a table. There is a chair. And a suggestion: You relax. And link them together firstly as follows: There is a table and there is a chair so you relax. Now that sounds a bit artificial and contrived, so we will now modify the suggestion to be a bit more Ericksonian and change those linking words around a little. There is a table and there is a chair and you can relax now. That is a little forced, but better – it has the command down-tone word at the end, so might be effective if the client responded to more authoritarian and direct suggestions. Let us try to extend it: As your attention moves to the table and maybe the chair so whichever is best to find yourself relaxing even more now.

That already sounds better, even if it makes little grammatical sense. That is not the purpose of these sentences; it is to lead the attention in such a way that the desired state is naturally evoked. Here is an example of how a simple truism + truism + suggestion can work: And as you listen to me, and look around the room, your attention can move to the clock, which is ticking all the time, in the same way as you are breathing, so you can begin to notice your breathing in the same way as the clock is ticking and I am speaking you find it easier in your own time to forget about the clock or your breathing – whichever is best for your unconscious to relax so you can feel your body is sat in the chair because that’s where it is when you allow yourself to notice whatever you want to notice now to relax … and yes, you are blinking, and I am speaking, and it’s good to close your eyes when you concentrate on my voice … Hint: You can also use incorporation practice at the same time, for example, “As you listen to the noise of the building work outside [truism] and the traffic stopping and starting [truism], part of you may wonder how deeply into a trance you can go [suggestion and Ericksonian language – the question is how deeply, not whether you can or cannot go into a trance] …” Practice: Speaking on the Out-Breath You can now further this practice by only speaking when the client is breathing out. This acts as a subtle hypnotic deepener, produces natural sentence fragmentation and also builds rapport. Elegance: Incorporating Non-Verbal Communication Truisms can be non-verbal, for example, blinking, body movement, breathing, nodding. Incorporate these into T+T+S:

And as you smile, listening to me, wondering perhaps what may follow, you are breathing and getting comfortable in the chair because your unconscious already knows how to prepare to learn, like when you learnt to read and you learnt to speak, so no matter what happens you know what to learn best to go into a profound state of focused attention with your foot stopping tapping … We might also want to develop the use of compound suggestions: [statement + suggestion] + [statement + tag question] For example: You’ve learnt many new things and all of them will be applied to your work in some way or another because that’s the best thing about new things, isn’t it? If we also know the signs of a trance-state, we can either elicit or observe these occur naturally, then incorporate, utilise, and amplify them. Signs of Trance-State Visible relaxation of parts of body.

Deepening or slowing of breathing pattern.

Eye movement changing, pupils dilating.

Flush reflex or reported change of sensation of temperature. For example, we might incorporate two of those signs as they develop in this way: As your hands gently relax your breathing follows now whenever it is the best time for you to close your eyes or not, to relax it is up to your hands to make that decision as they go still because it is comfortable to notice where that deep sense of comfort can be found behind your eyes… Having eye fixation is simply a method to promote attention to one place, however this can be done by any of the induction methods we will cover. If you wish to utilise eye fixation to a point, I suggest a point mid-way above and behind you, so the client eyes naturally tire and close.[69] A list of observations in one client case was provided by Erickson: (1) slow loss of the blink reflex; (2) altered respiratory rhythm; (3) loss of swallowing reflex; (4) development of ideomotor activity in the dominant hand; (5) exceedingly slow movement of the hand and arm up and over the arm of the chair; (6) slow closing of the eyes, usually at some point preceding or during the ideomotor movement of the hand and arm; (7) groping movements of the fingers, as if selecting an object at the site of the imaginary fruit bowl; (8) a lifting movement involved in picking up an object, and a slow leaning forward, seemingly placing the object upon the imaginary table; and (9) then leaning back in the chair and continuing to rest quietly.[70]

There are several other interesting signs of trance-state from my own observations over the years: Facial Symmetry (seeing a younger person’s face emerge).

Voice tonality change.

Leading Representational system change. Facial symmetry occurs as the face relaxes the unconscious control usually present when we are fully aware. We use our face both consciously and unconsciously to represent our emotions or emphasise intent, so it is no surprise these change in trance. If you witness a large group of people in deep trance, such as during an Inner Guide Meditation workshop, the effect is notable. As we also respond as individuals to facial symmetry, when it is present, we may see those in trance as appearing younger or even as a more vibrant and striking version of their regular face. As relaxation occurs throughout the body, particularly in breathing patterns and in the upper body and throat, when a client speaks in deep trance, their voice will be notably different. As the client moves into trance, if they are verbally responding, we can match, mirror, and amplify this response with our own voice pattern. This is part of the reason for initial exercises in NLP Magick in which we learn to modulate our own speech and put a “breaker” between our thought and speech, in which conscious changes can be made to occur at will. There is a final and yet extremely notable indication of statechange, which is that the clients lead representation system will shift. If someone is usually auditory in their regular state, they may become extremely kinaesthetic in deep trance. If someone is mostly

“a visual person”, their shift may be to auditory modes. It is important to notice this and follow it in speech patterns, to deepen the state and maintain rapport. It should be noted that often when modelling state-shifts, such as panic attacks, phobias, sudden loss of confidence, etc., that there is a corresponding shift in the main representation system. This is part of how a person so readily shifts their state - they move out of their most regular representation state first. So, a usually confident person, who is mainly visual, will report that when they suffer a sudden panic attack, they feel overwhelmed, or a coldness creep up their body, etc. They lose their visual representations and shift into kinaesthetic patterns. We can now present our very simple trance format, which will put these individual pieces together in a single template.

The VSTF (Very Simple Trance Format) In essence, the simplest steps to trance induction follow a few steps which bring about the necessary conditions for a hypnotic state. Sometimes, one or more of these steps will have the most effect, so the student is advised always to observe the “difference that makes a difference” and re-enforce that particular step. The steps are as follows for a straight-forward induction: 1. Make a series of verifiable statements of fact “As you sit in the chair … listening carefully … and the wind blows against the windows … “ 2. Begin to mirror, pace and lead “…breathing in … and out … more slowly now …. And deeper ….” 3. Establish Eye-Closure or Disassociation “closing your eyes ….” Or “letting your conscious mind wander …” 4. Start Deepening “Perhaps you’d like to count down with me, 10 …. Allowing yourself to float free … 9 …. Relaxing further any remaining tension in your body ….” 5. Utilize any reactions/events “hearing that far distant car, wondering where it’s going to, and how long it will take to get there, remembering what it’s like to be a passenger in a car, late at night, knowing your driver is driving, the road is safe ahead, and you can just let go and relax whilst you are taken to your destination …” 6. Establish Intervention, etc. “and whilst you relax further, you can listen to my voice, or the sounds outside, it doesn’t really matter as your unconscious listens all the time, and it likes stories and I know I can tell you a story …” 7. Start Upening (Re-Orientation)

“Whilst you listen to my voice, becoming a little more aware of the ticking clock in this room, in this place, becoming more aware of the relaxation in your legs as you start to wake a little…” 8. Outduction (Close Trance State) “.. and only as soon as you can bring all those wonderful feelings back with you in your body and mind and heart you can open your eyes and look again with new eyes to new things now.” Always Something Better. Outduction/Amplification. On a teaching workshop in a hospital a while ago, we had a student who was very prone to deep-state hypnosis. During one exercise, I was called to the hallway where she was acting as the practise subject for another student. Apparently, she would not come out of trance. The other student wondered if she had actually gone to sleep and did not want to wake her up suddenly. I suggested a brief script for her to try and she took a breath, turned to the other student, who was sat bolt upright on a chair with her eyes locked absolutely shut. She then said, in a firm and fluid manner, “It must be so good to be in that state and imagine what it will be like, then, to feel ten times better as you open your eyes now – “ at which point there was barely a moment as the other student snapped open her eyes and came right back to us. The student continued “- and come to full awareness with that feeling”. There is no fixed length of time required to go into trance, it can take between five to twenty minutes, on average, depending on the situation. In some cases, a person can be snapped into a hypnotic state almost within seconds - again, depending on circumstance - or might require the full therapeutic hour - to enjoy any sensation of trance.

In the case of an “immediate” hypnosis, as often presented on stage for entertainment, this is not technically a full hypnotic state but more of a “peer-influenced acting” as the mind and body will not have even had time to slow breathing, brain activity, relax muscles, etc., as is evident in proper trance. Having said that, these symptoms may well soon occur even in a “pretend” trance on stage, as the circumstances will be conducive and convincing to drop deeper into actual trance - otherwise, why would you be pretending to be a chicken, etc? We will now look at a range of further methods we can weave into our induction of the hypnotic state, from expectation setting to ambiguity.

Expectation Setting With expectation setting, we utilise the lack of patience in the unconscious to provide short-cuts or point attention without the necessity to fully vocalise the instruction. We provide ourselves short-cuts all the time, and these can be pointed out to the client prior to expectation setting in the session: A B C D ….?

1 2 3 4 …?

A is for …?

You can go up or …? These also function as subliminal suggestions for regression, or overt ones: Can you remember the first time you saw that the letters and words on a page related to the object drawn on that page? The moment you knew A is for Apple or B is for … or C is for …? And now it doesn’t even matter if you remember the moment or not, because you always know these things, you learnt them and they were useful to you in so many, many ways. And you may find that as your unconscious now knows - A B C, 1 2 … free to flow further into trance now to listen you can find one can feel relaxation deeply …

In the final section we have provided ambiguity with the use of free, to and one (3, 2, and 1) to layer meaning - and hence build a channel between - the conscious attention and the unconscious processing. Within the intervention, we might then develop this expectation setting: It may not even be that important to remember why you gave up smoking so quickly, or after a little while, because some things when done are as easy as 1 … 2 … smoke is unlearning something so very bad to do, and feeling good for one to be free of it … Here we have also sneaked in a four count, as in “for (4) one (1) to (2) be free (3)” and led the final sentence in the segment with “1 (one) 2 (to) smoke”. To utilise the implicit kindergarten regression, I would be stressing the “so very bad to do” as if speaking to a naughty child, and then we offer a way out of that feeling with “good for one to be free of it”. The “it” is ambiguous, referring to the now blended ‘smoking’ and the feeling of ‘bad to do’. As ever, all examples are given in a context; if we had already ascertained that the client had a high value on being a rebel, we would probably not use regression or a sense of “naughtiness” in an ‘away from’ approach. K is for Katz. Everyday/Expectation Set. When I changed my surname to Katz, I soon realised a particular phenomenon when giving my new name to people, whether to write it down or look it up on a computer. If I gave it to someone to write down, they would always do the same thing - they would start writing the letters C-A-T. I would then hurriedly say, “it’s Katz, with a K” and they would apologise and correct it. After a brief while, I got used to saying, “Ah, it’s OK, everyone does that”.

It was usually not so bad when giving it to someone to look up, they would sometimes start a search, and then ask, “Is that with a C or a K?” In Germany, the problem was not usually encountered. Then I once found myself explaining, “I guess it’s because most people learn C is for Cat”, which quickly became even more troublesome, that I was habituating an explanation of the miscommunication, whilst resigning myself to the miscommunication. Eventually, I worked out a solution. Now, when someone is looking to write down my name, and they ask me, “Can I have your surname?” I start spelling it first, by giving them the letter “K”. As soon as I see they have written it down, I then continue, “Katz, K - A - T - Z”. It requires a moment more from the other person, more than usual, to get over not being given a full surname and then a spelling, but it is still shorter than them crossing out a mistaken communication. And it completely avoids their change of state when they feel they have gotten something wrong, and my change of state in that I have to explain that they haven’t.

Causal Connections Adding causal connections is a powerful addition to the induction: Then …

As …

While …

And … For example: And as your eyes close and you take a deep breath in while relaxing your shoulders then you can wonder how deeply you will go into trance …

Clanging Clanging is a term given to the compulsive use of words based on sound rather than rational meaning, found occurring more frequently in psychotic mental illnesses such as mania and schizophrenia. It is also obviously used in poetry and prose in terms of rhyming and alliteration. We can utilise clanging words to emphasize suggestions and as a confusional or deepener technique: And as you relax into deep sleep like state keep relaxation sleep more easily keep relaxing further sleep now drift dream dive deep …

Interspersal An Ericksonian method highlighted by William H. O’Hanlon and Michael Martin which I find invaluable is that of interspersal.[71] This is a good practice method for intermediate students, whereby we split up the intended communication into separate words which are then used between other sentences, sometimes in a different context to their intended meaning. An example would be: When you can come back to this sense of comfort, back to relaxation, to find yourself straight back to it without any effort at all now … Whilst this is a bit heavy-handed, we can see here that back comfort/back relaxation and straight back may be the intended suggestion to someone looking for relaxation for a painful back injury. This method of interspersal is sometimes referred to as “analogue marking” or used with anchoring and triggering, as we require some way of signalling these interspersed words just below the conscious filter. I usually find the simplest way is a slight change of intonation and head movement, others tend to teach some form of anchoring by tapping someone lightly each time a signal word is given.

Ambiguity Another important tool is that the unconscious mind can process ambiguity in a far more sweeping way than the conscious mind. If we say to someone, “I’ll be along soon”, the other person will generally have a reasonable idea of “soon”, based on their experience - of others, and of you, personally. Similarly, we do not stop a speaker to question every ambiguity at every point of a personal tale, such as “when you say lots of people were there, do you mean 45 or 46, or 52?” Sometimes we need to or just do - but usually, we allow the ambiguity as we can unconsciously process it and accept it in context. We can use this in inductions and interventions by ambiguous phrases such as “going into a relaxed state twice as deeply now”. We do not consciously know what “twice” means in terms of relaxation, so the unconscious will process it as a more sweeping generalisation. Similarly “more deeply” and “double that feeling” are more powerful suggestions or instruction. In the following section, we will go through several standard methods of working with trance induction, beginning with my personal favourite, to practice and teach students - and clients - the Betty Erickson method of self-hypnosis.

INDUCTION PATTERNS

The Betty Erickson Technique Introduction This method is a self-relaxation technique that is generally suitable for insomnia, stress, and general anxiety disorders. It is efficacious because it installs an unconscious strategy that generalizes to any area of life to which you or the client require alternative states other than that of anxiety. It is also powerful in that it models the reverse of a phobic response – that is to say, it provides a good feeling based on any trigger at all, rather than a bad feeling based on just one trigger. Whilst it can be learnt and taught in any environment, it is recommended that you practice it – or ask your client to do so – for several nights whilst already going to sleep. This creates an automatic association of the resting state with the technique, rather than only trying to do it when an anxious state is already occurring. Following Instructions. Client Response/Betty Erickson Technique. When I first started teaching this method, I was twice phoned up by clients some weeks later, who wanted to ask me whether they were doing it right. Both clients said, “I am trying to follow all the instructions, but I keep only getting to “three things”, so I wanted to know whether it would still work if I wasn’t doing it right?” I asked on both calls what was happening when they got to “three things” which was stopping them completing the instructions. Both replied the same, “I keep going to sleep”. And in both cases I remarked on the same thing, “You’re John [and Dave], right? You did come to me for insomnia, yes?” You can add an anchor to this method, although the sitting position itself can be a useful anchor. If you add a manual anchor, it should be unique, quick, subtle, and definite, such as pressing the thumb and forefinger together on one hand then releasing the touch,

only when the state is deepest. After a few times, this will automatically trigger the state. The Method Sit comfortably (or in bed, lying comfortably). State out loud (or slowly and deliberately in your mind if in bed) “I can see …” and choose a specific item to state, such as “I can see the shadow of the door”. Notice this item of attention, and then notice where your attention moves, and state “I can see …” again with another object, or the same object. Each time, there should be a slow deliberation before stating the object, so much so that you evoke a state of frustration. This is a fundamental aspect of the method; by frustrating the unconscious, you eventually provoke it to react quickly and of its own accord - a sort of, “get out the way, slow conscious mind, I got this”.[72] Repeat this to a total of five times. Then pause and say, “I can hear …” and state something you can hear, even if it is only “I can hear … silence” or “I can hear a ticking clock”. Again, pause and then notice something else you can hear, or if your attention stays on the same sound. State “I can hear …” again. Repeat this to a total of five times. Then pause and say, “I can feel …” and state something you can feel – physically or emotionally, for example, “I can feel my feet on the floor” or “I can feel expectant”. Then notice something else, and state “I can feel …” again. Repeat this to a total of five times. Once you have repeated five “I can See”, then five “I can Hear” then five “I can Feel”, go back to the start of the cycle and repeat four “I can see”, four “I can hear” and four “I can feel”. Then three of each in turn, then two … By then, you should feel like closing your eyes, or if you are working with a client, each taking turns to repeat the statements, you can suggest “I feel like closing my eyes” at a suitable point. If you are practicing in bed before sleep, you will likely close your eyes quickly enough in a natural fashion.

Then, internally, go back up to five “I can see …” with internal images, be they “I can see the back of my eyelids”, “I can see the Taj Mahal” or “I can see nothing”. Then five, “I can hear”, five “I can feel”, then to four of each, three of each, two of each … This should take 20-30 minutes. If you practice this whilst going to sleep, you will find after 3-4 nights, the practice will change in that you will lose track more of the counting and get to sleep faster. You will also likely experience deeper sleep and more memorable dreams. Once you have established this relaxation pattern for 3-4 nights, you can repeat it in the morning, adding a suitable positive intention in the “I can feel …” category. Because your unconscious is now expecting a state-change as a result of the technique (sleeping) it will respond better to provide a state based on your suggestion. Suitable suggestions include: “I can feel even more confident about my calmness”

“I can feel even more sure” And so forth. Weave these suggestions in amongst the truisms of “I can feel my breathing”. Another advantage of this technique is that it is flexible and many practitioners report that they find their brains “automatically” switching channels of state when desired, even outside of the specifics of the technique.[73] It’s Weird But... Unconscious Mapping/Betty Erickson Technique. One of the many reasons that the Betty Erickson technique is my firm favourite and universal go-to is that it appears to promote unconscious mapping; that is to say, once the mind has learnt a strategy for switching state from nervousness to relaxation, it appears to not be shy of utilising that strategy to switch between any other states when necessary. I first noticed this when a client told me, “it’s weird, but …” and then said that whilst they had come to me for insomnia, something

strange had happened at work. They had not told me before that they were attending meetings with a new manager, who regularly “went round the table” and asked their team to provide a full report, more formally than their previous manager. This had been a cause of anxiety for the client, but they told me that after the Betty Erickson session, they had been at the meeting a few days later and instead of the mounting dread, they had suddenly felt like giggling at the ridiculous over-formality and had then found it easy to give a casual and complete report, without any anxiety at all. They said to me, “It’s weird, I don’t suppose it’s anything to do with our other work, you think?” I said I wasn’t sure, but it was interesting and useful. After about four or five similar and totally unsolicited reports of such events, often starting with “It’s weird but …”, I noticed a pattern and came to conclude that the technique itself installs and encourages a strategy for state-change, irrespective of the states to be changed. I now tell my own students that they get an invisible tick-box mark above their left shoulder every time they hear a client say anything to the effect of “it’s weird but …” Summary Practice in pairs or when going to sleep. Repeat 5 x I can see, 5 x I can hear, 5 x I can feel. 4 x I can see, 4 x I can hear, 4 x I can feel. 3 x I can see, 3 x I can hear, 3 x I can feel. Usually close eyes about now. Then return to top to repeat 5 x I can see, 5 x I can hear, 5 x I can feel. 4 x I can see, 4 x I can hear, 4 x I can feel. 3 x I can see, 3 x I can hear, 3 x I can feel. Then in mornings, weave in positive suggestions such as “I can feel even more confident”. Note that if you are leading this technique with another, you may also choose to start with big chunks of information, “I can see the room” and slowly work down to smaller chunks of detail, such as “I

can see the swirls in the wood on the desk”. This drives towards the more trance-like states that can be generated with this technique. You may also notice that visual negative hallucination can occur in this method, where a person has their eyes open and says, “I can see …” and then cannot say anything. This is because the unconscious has been alerted by the attention shifts, then finds itself not having to respond to any ‘threat’, so switches off the response to the attention shift. This is a startling phenomenon to many people. Do Not Blink. Client Response/Betty Erickson Technique. I was conducting the Betty Erickson technique with a client and practicing chunking. I had also recently read about synthesesia and detailed observation, so was giddy to try them out in my session work. As we progressed through the technique, I bided my time and then profoundly said, “I can hear you blinking”. Without pause, the client responded, “I can hear you bullshitting”. My next response was obviously, “I can hear us laughing”.

Multiple Frames of Relaxation Introduction This method is a quick relaxation technique that works with overload and the brains ability to nest stories. You can have a lot of fun with this and see how many frames you can open and close again – or work with a partner to do the same by guiding them. This technique takes about 20 minutes to perform and should be done sat comfortably. The Method Visualize a mirror with your eyes closed and see a scene inside the mirror which is one of perfect tranquility or calm. Many people have memories of holidays, beaches, or a favorite place in their garden or as a child. Step inside the mirror and explore the scene in your imagination, seeing what you would see, hearing what you would hear, feeling what you would feel. Now imagine that you find a picture frame on the ground, or see it on a wall, within that scene, which has a picture painted within it of an even more peaceful, restful place. When you can see that scene, step into the painting and explore it a little further. Now find a book on a table or other ledge within that scene, which is titled “PEACE” and open it to find an illustration. Step inside that illustration. You can keep going through frames for at least 7-9 scenes, relaxing deeper in each one. You can also choose the titles of the books or labels on the paintings for other states, such as “Concentration” or “focus”. When you complete this method, you can find a mirror which takes you straight back out or return through each frame and scene if you can recall them!

Breathing Thoughts Introduction This method is a good tool for those of us with very busy minds, whose thought processes are very involved. We use that natural strategy of thinking to arrive at a better state when we wish to relax or calm our thoughts for clarity. The Method Close your eyes and take time to attend to your thoughts. Now notice the direction that your thoughts appear to move. Do they float up, or down, or move across your imagination like a tickertape from right to left. Or left to right? Start to notice your breathing and hear your thoughts inside your head. Each time you breath out, allow the thoughts to run their normal course. After several moments, when you breath in next, imagine the same thought process being reversed back to where it appears to come, as if you are calling it back to base. Continue to breath out, with your thoughts moving one way, then back in with them moving the other way. After a few moments, continuing to relax, you may notice as you slow your breathing, your thoughts slow down also. You can now begin to pause after each in-breath, gently holding the thoughts still until you breath out. Any thoughts that arise simply acknowledge and breath them out, then back in again. You can enjoy this sensation for a while and then allow your outbreath to be empty, as if you were not breathing the thoughts back out again. This can result in a wonderfully relaxed state with a calmness of mind and cessation of thoughts. Summary

This technique is powerful so long as you accept your arising thoughts and do not struggle with them. Simply allow them on the out-breath and return them on the in-breath. Note that if you work in a pair on this method, the other person can assist by suggesting relaxation to you - or telling a story about a relaxing place or event, but only talking whilst you are breathing out. As your outbreath is usually when you are not consciously processing your thoughts (because you are usually talking on your own out-breath), the other persons speech will have more unconscious influence when spoken only on your outbreath.

Triangle Technique This method is a good tool for involving lots of different aspects of relaxation, mental and physical. It is based on a technique taught by Stephen Gilligan, one of the foremost students of Milton H. Erickson. Once you learn it, you can modify the “color” used in the first part of the technique to generate a range of states from relaxation to confidence, from trance to high-performance states. This is a suitable method to learn as a beginner to relaxation techniques. You can also use an anchor, such as the word of the color used, like “Orange”, to say to yourself when you need to rapidly re-access the state. This technique takes about 20 minutes to perform and should be done sat comfortably. The Method Sit comfortably (or in bed, lying comfortably). Place your legs reasonably apart with your hands resting on your knees. Fix your eyes to a single point of attention – keep your eyes fixed throughout. Visualize a sphere or ball where you are looking, making a triangle between your two resting hands and the ball itself. Fill the ball in your imagination with a color suitable to the desired state, for example, light blue for calmness, or yellow for confidence. When you are ready to take a nice deep breath in, imagine (whilst keeping your eyes fixed on the ball) that a line of that same color is pulled out of the ball to your right hand. Then, when you can next breath out with deliberation, imagine the line continues to your right hand, in time with your slow outbreath. Then take a nice deep breath in – very slowly – and continue the line back to the ball, making a complete triangle. Start to repeat the drawing of each line in time with your breath, keeping your eyes fixed and thickening the line to give it weight each

time you breath. Repeat this several times. Next, start counting with each breath (optional), up to 4. Imagine the counting voice is the most relaxed laid-back voice you have ever heard. If you like, you can also hold your breath gently for a count of 4 in between each out and in-breath. This is known as the “four-fold breath” in Yoga. You can combine this with breathing deep from your diaphragm. After a few more repetitions, you should find that if you slow down the drawing of the line – your breath slows down automatically. This is setting up a simple bio-feedback mechanism. Inner and Outer Attention Notice that your attention can drift from one hand to another, but never both at the same time – that you can be aware of your thoughts, or a noise outside, but whilst your attention is always only ever in one place (that’s why it is your attention!) your unconscious is aware of everything going on at the same time, without attending to anything in particular. You can drift into this sense, by allowing your attention to move and following it. Now close your eyes and flip the triangle in your imagination so that it is pointing into your stomach, the ball should now be in your solar plexus, the triangle between your hands and your solar plexus. Look down (if seated) into that triangle. Start to fill it in your mind’s eye with the same color, flooding in from each edge and each point of the triangle. Imagine its texture, its depth, perhaps even a sound or scent or taste that belongs to that color. Now gently imagine lowering yourself into the triangle, so the color surrounds you. Breathe it in, breathe it out, allow it to surround you as you drop lower down into the state. If anything happens outside, imagine how it now has to pass through that color to reach you, and how that color changes the sound or other event happening outside you. You can enjoy this sensation as much as you wish before allowing yourself to rise up out through the triangle (feeling the color

consolidate into a ball in your solar plexus) and then become aware of your body and the room again before opening your eyes.

Further Notes You can use this technique to still your mind even with anxious thoughts. If you sit with your knees slightly apart and hands resting on them, your chest will automatically open out to allow for deeper breathing. You can also rotate your head slightly on your neck before commencing this method to ensure symmetry in your body. The stage in this method where you “flip the triangle” and look down is actually a powerful unconscious symbol to your brain; we usually only bow our head down to access our internal state, whether it be to acknowledge, rest, pray or surrender. If you would like to anchor the state so you can access it quickly again, press your hands lightly and briefly on your knees and say the color when the state feels deepest.

Rossi Fail-Safe Method This method is one I teach students early on, as it allows practice of all the other basic techniques whilst illustrating basic incorporation, utilisation, and double-bind methods. Simply ask your client to sit with their knees comfortably apart and resting their hands on their edges (little finger down), palms facing inwards. The hands should be positioned as if at the extension of a small clapping motion, resting on the knees. Ask the client to look down at the gap between the palms and begin a standard induction method such as the VSTF. As you do so, begin to provide disassociation by wondering out loud which of the hands will move first in an unconscious manner. You can also wonder if they will stay absolutely still as the client goes further into trance. Or whether they will begin to relax as they slowly fold downwards to rest on the client’s knees palm-down. Or perhaps slowly outwards so they relax with the palms upward as the client moves into trance. This provides a fail-safe method of focusing attention and dissociation whilst also allowing incorporation and utilisation. Example … and as you sit there, just watching how your hands relax on your knees there are sounds from outside which we can ignore or listen to as you know you can focus on one thing at a time when you relax so that one hand starts to turn inwards and perhaps the other hand will go down in time or perhaps you do not yet know which hand will relax the most if you close your eyes … and taking that deep breath, listening or forgetting to hands or sounds and the gaps between my words when your shoulders just know to let that load go now for just enough time

to even more deeply relax when your hand rests gently now flat against your knee with no gap of tension, just relax now until the other hand - that’s right - already knowing what it will do when it does come to rest taking you even more deeply into the rest of the rest which is waiting between the sound of my words or the silence now outside … For further details, see ‘Moving Hands Accessing of Creative Resources’.[74] You can also add the infamous Dobbs Eye-Closure Method which was introduced to me by Doug O’Brien; you say to the client, “I’d like you to close your eyes now, please”.

Induction Variations In terms of the best beginning approaches to hypnosis, I list below and detail the ten types of hypnosis induction I would recommend: Focus.

De-Focus (Betty Erickson Technique).

Progressive relaxation.

My Friend John.

Imaginary Mirror.

Nested Visualisations.

Self-Talk Utilisation.

Convincer Swish.

Hand-Shake Interrupt.

As If. These are not mutually exclusive and can be woven together, condensed, or extended as required during actual practice. We will also return to several of these - such as the imaginary mirror - as therapeutic interventions. The beauty of many of these is that they can function in any state-change work, whether it is the induction method itself or the intervention. This is where the science becomes more art, in how the methods are crafted together to complement or contrast with each other during a session. The methods vary between authoritative and permissive methods, direct and indirect - and can be modified slightly to work within any overall approach. The progressive relaxation method, for example, can be used as a very directive and authoritative method, but also as an indirect and permissive method. 1. Focus. The method most associated with hypnosis in popular imagination is that of fixed attention to a watch on a chain or pendulum.[75] In films involving hypnotism, the visuals are conveyed by a flashing or strobing light or the ‘mystical’ hand passes made across a ‘victim’s’ eyesight. This was often portrayed in a negative or controlling manner, particularly to the extent that it might show a person being hypnotised in a matter of moments to some idea or behaviour utterly at odds with their natural inclinations. This aspect of hypnosis is drawn from the original discoveries of Braid and others, demonstrating that “fixed attention” or “eye fascination” was a significant part of bringing about a trance-state. Whilst it would be unusual to find a hypnotherapist still using a pocketwatch, the natural focusing of attention remains a primary technique.

A practitioner might use a point of light on a wall, the client’s own hands, or auditory cues demanding attention such as the ticking of a clock. The suggestion is that as one focuses, disassociation can be highlighted and amplified, such as: … and as you focus on your hands, noticing either the right hand or left hand more in relaxation, you might notice that you already forgot about the ticking of the clock and as your attention moves to it, your eyes closing so you can listen, or not, as your hands lay flat on your knees, not even knowing how relaxation happens when you forget about them listening to my words or the gaps between the words … 2. De-Focus (Betty Erickson Technique). The opposite side of the focusing coin (and coins were sometimes used to be held and made a point of focus) is to progressively de-focus attention. As sure as attention is gained instantly, i.e., pointing to something, de-focus is more progressive. The Betty Erickson technique is a prime example of such defocusing. In alerting the conscious mind to an object, then moving it onto another object, the unconscious mind receives an alert signal, and then the alert is switched off, because attention is moved to another alert. Eventually, the unconscious starts to switch everything off. I have had several clients sat with their eyes open during the Betty Erickson technique, slowly saying, “I can … see … see … …” and they have been unable to report anything in the room. In effect, this is a fast method of negative hallucination. As the Betty Erickson technique works progressively and repeatedly through bringing attention to one alert after another - in the three primary senses - it slowly switches off the alert response and increases a relaxed state. This makes it ideal for insomnia or over-thinking because it fully incorporates the busy thoughts and also re-establishes the actual present circumstances.

Other de-focusing techniques include story-telling and repetition, or the multiple embedded metaphor methods, all forms of conscious overload leading to a diffusion of attention, like drifting off in a long lecture: … because have you ever just drifted off in a long lecture and wondered where the time went even though there was a clock ticking in the background, and you did not remember when you had drifted off but you were sure that you might still have heard everything important that was said when you can even imagine hearing a story of someone who had done just that and they were surprised how even with time they could remember what you said when … 3. Progressive Relaxation. For most students, a good primer method is that of progressive relaxation. It can also support experimentation with other methods that can be woven in or discarded if they prove ineffective. The relaxation approach can be prescriptive, such as following a script, or permissive such as indirect suggestion. It also allows opportunity to practice with language patterns and other deepeners: … finding that when you bring your attention to your neck, feeling how your head rests on top of your body, you can begin to relax those muscles [ambiguity], that’s right, dropping your shoulders from where they were left, to rest the weight [wait] of your arms and closing your eyes to find where your body is most relaxed … noticing the deeper you breath, the deeper you go, the slower breath that relaxes your upper body now moving to your legs with your feet on the floor, still where they are … 4. My Friend John. This story-telling method, developed by Erickson, allows us to suggest resources to the client in bypassing their critical faculty through a third-person narrative.[76] It can be used for induction or intervention, or deepening, so is very versatile. It is best used with a

client who shows multiple frames of reference when they present their own situation, such as “I know a lot of people wouldn’t think much of it, but I know my boss felt bad when I said …” The method can be used in many ways: … and I remember when I first went into a deep trance, I wasn’t expecting how easy it can be, because the other people in the room were all listening to the very experienced teacher and he had a way of saying the right thing for each of us to go into a trance without knowing it, and that’s a good thing when someone knows just what to say to help us relax, is one of the things he told us so we could say to someone else now find those words that deepen your relaxation, deepen your state of trance … 5. Imaginary Mirror. The Mirror is one of my favourite techniques and particularly useful for a beginner as it is so versatile. It also fits into many of the other induction methods and functions as a simple first intervention pattern to use. It is also a fundamental method to work with one whole side of the therapeutic triangle, that of self-image. The technique is simple, in asking the client to visualise a mirror in which their “ideal” state is realised. This can then be amplified, and when ready, the client is simply asked to step “into” the self they can see in the mirror. This state is then anchored, any post-state suggestions can be made, and the outduction can bring the client back to their aware state whilst still maintaining the changed outlook. I also like to use this technique with progressive amplification, allowing the client to recognise that their own change may not be in one step. This is particularly useful for weight management, exercise encouragement, and other changes that will require time. In amplification, I ask the client to imagine just one small way they might be different in accomplishing their aim. Once they have done that, I get them to step into that “mirror self” and then look back

out of the mirror into another mirror, identical to the one they are now within. I anchor their new state and amplify it by asking, “if you could feel just this little way quite soon, how do you think you might be in a few days - create that self in the other mirror”. I then ask them to step into the self in that mirror. The client can then be asked to “turn around” and see the first mirror, in which they can now make an even better representation of how they will be, how they will look, feel and sound, with these smaller accomplishments having occurred. They can then build this image and step into it. By then, most clients will already be in an expectation set, and turn around themselves to commence building an even better selfmodel in the previous mirror. This can be repeated, anchored and then an outduction can be conducted to collapse the stages into the client who is now “returning to the room with all those mirrors holding fast within”. The mirror, whilst also often appearing in fairy-tales and stories of magical worlds, is also an everyday object that will serve to anchor and trigger the associated state. 6. Nested Visualisations. The approach of nested visualisations is a progressive method of which the magic mirror might be considered a sub-form. It can be utilised as a deepener as well as an induction. It can also provide opportunity to practice other methods, particularly confusional methods, which we will cover in the following book. In a nested visualisation, we simply guide a visualisation into a scene from which another visualisation can be conducted: … and as you walk through the garden you see a door in the side of a tree … and entering into that door, you find a small room, like a children’s tree-house, full of books on make-believe [introducing age regression] … and you open one book and see

a picture of a big castle, from long, long ago, and it is a magic book so as you look at the castle you find yourself in a big hall within that very castle, feeling the stones cold and solid beneath your feet, and there is a beautiful tapestry on the wall, which must have taken many years to have sewn, with a lifetime of stories upon it … and as you look you feel warmer until it as if you are in that important scene in the tapestry … You can award yourself bonus points if you can present the egress from a nested visualisation in exactly the same order as you provided the ingress, but if not, you can simply have a magic mirror (of course) appear that gives access to the top level of the visualisation or the return to normal consciousness.[77] 7. Self-Talk Utilisation. If a client is less visual and kinaesthetic, and more auditory, then adopting a self-talk utilisation may prove effective. It can also be delivered in a reasonably direct and authoritative manner. In this case, the induction (and intervention) is presented to the client to say to themselves, with suggestions being woven into the instruction: … I want you to imagine being able to hear yourself within your own mind, counting backwards from five hundred. As you begin to count, hear yourself as you relax in the chair and close your eyes. As you count to yourself, allowing yourself to breathe deeply now, you can slow your counting down to just each outbreath, or in-breath, whichever is easier for you to take time to yourself and breath … now imagine that your voice is the most mellow, laid back voice you have ever heard, counting even more slowly as you remember a time that you have always told yourself was the most relaxing place you have ever visited … Modifications of this approach can be utilised within any other approach, so a story-telling metaphor might have a direct selfsuggestion embedded within it:

… and the frog said, as you might say to yourself, I can do it because I know how to leap … 8. Count Downs. Amongst the most common of hypnotist cliches is the countdown, as in “and when I count down to one, you will be in a deep trance”. We can incorporate this existing expectation by subverting it somewhat. So, when asking a client to use a count-down, always do it from an odd number, such as “I would like you to start counting down from three hundred and fifty”. This also not only subverts the expectation but infers that the client is unlikely to be expected to count down all the way to one in the time available. So, the client will immediately and unconsciously know to wait for a further instruction and will expect this instruction. Also add into the count-down a suggestion and a self-referential convincer: … and as you slowly count-down out loud, I want you to say each count more slowly and quietly, until you are almost not counting at all … You can then wait for the client to go quiet, usually closing their eyes at this stage if they have not already done so. You can now build on the unconscious state of “counting so slowly you are not counting” because that is something that cannot be held in the conscious mind as it is paradoxical: … that’s right, as you continue to slow down even more, allowing your unconscious now to keep slowing that count down, take a moment to notice when you next take a deep breath in and your shoulders relax it is nice to wonder where the most relaxed place you have ever been is … 9. Hand-Shake Interrupt.

My first formal hypnotherapy training was in a hospital in Liverpool, and the method I first learnt was quite a direct and authoritative one. It was a version of an “interruption” pattern, the most common of which is the hand-shake interrupt, but this is a method that is best used for initial training and hardly ever occurs in real life clients.[78] The very first method I learnt as a “hypnotist” was to lean forwards during an induction and suggest to the client that as I placed my thumbs on their eyelids, they would stay stuck when I removed them. You have to be fairly confident to adopt this approach, I would now say. The ‘trick’ to this convincer strategy is that a moment prior to this action, you have asked the client to imagine they are looking up at the ceiling and waited until their eyes look upwards. If you now and try and strain your eyes upwards as if looking at the ceiling, with your eyelids closed, it is virtually impossible to open your eyes.[79] So, by adding the suggestion and rapidly moving towards someone’s open eyes with your thumbs will automatically trigger a blink reflex, and by placing your thumbs lightly on their eyelids, this interrupts usual responses as the person had little preparation for how to react if someone has their thumbs against your eyelids. The suggestion, if held strongly, will then work towards triggering a trance-like state if followed up by deepeners, further suggestions, etc. The more common training of this on NLP workshops is usually the hand-shake version, where you approach a person offering your hand to shake (in pre-COVID-19 times) and then instead of shaking it, you smoothly place your hand on their wrist and bend their hand lightly to their face whilst saying “… and as you notice all the lines on your hand, you might be able to close your eyes and …”. Whilst this may work on occasion, it should only be considered as a training exercise to encourage the practitioner to be aware of

avenues of interruption. The original method by Erickson was far more elegant in that he used his fingers to gently press against the arm in a repeating sequence, and then, when that was almost immediately normalised and habituated, simply missed the final press of the last finger and dropped the hypnosis into the missing space caused by the unconscious expectation pattern. That is elegant. In practice, I find that a blink-reflex interruption is more natural and good to also help explain conscious and unconscious process to the client in an experiential manner. I simply list a few things that show unconscious mechanisms which we can consciously control: Breathing [I watch to see if they alter their breathing].

Foot position [I see if they alter their position, measuring their likelihood to follow indirect suggestions].

Position of Tongue [This works well with younger clients as you can stick your tongue out at them to show it, and they will usually do it back, which re-frames the authority relationship and shows them they can be freer to act than usual, without usual consequence]. I then suggest that blinking is also a usually unconscious process, but one we can control. I ask if the client can “interrupt” a blink, so instead of blinking their eyelid down and up as usual, they can stop it mid-way, when their eyelid is down. If they do not keep their eyes closed after the first time, I simply ask them to notice that they are forgetting they are blinking and the next time, they might be able to catch themselves doing it.

This establishes a very experiential form of disassociation as the client attempts to either follow instructions or not, whilst at the same time being made aware that they have both a conscious and unconscious activity that may or may not be in their control. 10. As If. A simple but powerful approach, particularly with ‘resistant’ clients, is what I call the “as if” pattern. In a sense, it is a variation of the “My Friend John” approach, but only utilising the imagination of the client. I ask the client if they have ever seen someone in a trance-like state, and if they have no strong example of this, I ask if they have seen someone else be lost in thought or “miles way” when playing a computer game, etc. Once we have established a model of a trance-like state [and we have now inoculated against no trance-state being possible, as others have experienced it] I then ask what would be the most obvious sign of a trance-like state. Whatever the client responds, we can utilise as a suggestion, also incorporating their requirement to be control, in this manner: … so yes, that’s right, having your eyes closed is definitely one of the things that shows a trance-state, or even a relaxed and confident state, one where you can control yourself. I wonder if you can now close your eyes as if you were in a trance-like state, or simply relaxed, confident, and in control? … now, what else was that person in a hypnotic state doing? Yes, that’s right, they were likely breathing more deeply and even slurring their words like they were drunk. But when you are drunk you are not in control, and a hypnotic state is quite different.

So, if you were pretending to be in a hypnotic state you would want to slow your breathing down now to the most relaxed you might have been for some time… We can then continue with this approach, utilising and incorporating every detail of their own model of a trance state. We then add our own suggestions [see prior list of signs of trance-state] if they have not yet been elicited: … and another thing we find with deeply relaxed people is that their hands are very still, and that’s good you move them into a more relaxed position as your attention is there before coming back to your breathing now … And then, when the client is already now moving into a relaxed state, we interrupt the what-if: … now what I would like you to experience is that when you are ready to count down out loud, and slowly, from five down to one, when you reach one you can see what happens when you stop pretending. Usually, the client will immediately drop into a reasonable trancestate at that instruction, or you can then provide deepener suggestions to lower them further into a trance-state. The Swan Farmer. Weight Loss/Natural Induction of Trance State. A well-built local farmer arrived one day to tell me he was having a session mainly at the behest of his wife. His wife had told him that it was time he lost some weight - for his health. He looked at me and in a heavy accent said, “I don’t want you messing with my head, talking to me funny or doing anything spooky.” I thought inside my head, “I’m sorry, but that’s all I’ve got”. I decided to start by asking non-leading, non-specific, and nonspooky questions as he had directed me in this manner. There is no such thing as resistance - nor not communicating. I asked him about his spare time. He told me he had little time but sometimes watched

television. I asked him what did he like watching? He begrudgingly told me, “nothing much - sometimes documentaries”. I asked him, “what sort of documentaries?” He told me, curtly, “Nature programmes”. Having started to gain rapport and focusing his attention [Chunking] I asked him, “what type of nature documentaries?” He concentrated and said “well – birds”. I asked him if there was a specific type of bird he could remember watching recently? [transderivational search]. He closed his eyes and bent forwards slightly whilst thinking and then said after a pause, “Swans”. I lowered my tone slightly and said, “that’s right, what were the swans doing?” The man thought for a moment and then started moving his arms in a graceful flapping motion and murmured, “They were flying across the water”. I gently reached forwards and placed my hand on his head and lowered it gently whilst saying, “that’s right … and how does it feel to be flying like that?” The rest of the session proceeded with me ‘messing with his head’ and ‘talking to him funny’ because he had already done the ‘spooky stuff’. You can never tell who is pre-disposed to deep-state trance phenomenon and this is, in a way, my punch-line to jokes about hypnotising someone to think they are a chicken. We will now look at the very simplest format for inducting a trance-like state, which can be practised by the student and then developed through all the variant methods. It is important to experiment and find the best voice for oneself; you may not have the gruff authoritative timbre of Erickson or the smooth radio-tuned voice of Paul McKenna, but you can find your own voice over time and practice.

Vogt’s Fractionation When working with clients of short attention spans, children, or a busy environment, a more elaborate induction approach is that of Vogt’s fractionation. It also provides an entrainment of the client’s response and establishes an expectation set; in effect, we teach the client in progressive steps to experience trance. This method was developed by the German neurologist Oskar Vogt (1870 - 1959) who practised and published on hypnosis as a clinician until 1903. Vogt was an innovative hypnotherapist, who conducted his sessions with groups of people suffering the same issue in a single room, arranged in hammocks in corridors, and often outdoors in protected areas of the forest.[80] Vogt was a student of the Swiss psychiatrist August Forel (1848-1931) who published a manual of hypnotism in 1889.[81] When Vogt started work at Alexandersbad, a private sanitarium in Bavaria, he found his wealthy and educated clients required a different approach than he had learnt through the Nancy school. He wrote: I generally avoided to give suggestions in the forms of an order, in order not to disturb those subjects who do not want to be deprived of their 'free will'. When dealing with an educated person, I usually present the phenomena of suggestion as something that emerges naturally out of himself.[82] The fractionation method was developed by Vogt in close collaboration with Korbinian Brodmann, who published a detailed account of their work at Alexadnersbad. In this method, the client is taught by ‘consequent disciplining’ the process of hypnosis by asking them to recount their experience at notable shifts in attention.[83] Their vocalisation of their experience is

matched to an ‘ideal subject’, which is also presented explicitly to the client. Obviously, in the earliest days of hypnosis, few subjects would have any knowledge or expectation of the process, and this was usually kept from them. It was the work around this slightly later time, and through the work of Freud, that developed a different approach which catered for educated clients, who sometimes had read the same manuals and material as their therapist.[84] Fractionation Method After learning and practising a few VSTF inductions and experimenting with direct/indirect or authoritative/permissive approaches, the student may wish to incorporate the fractionation method into their inductions. It usefully allows experimentation, failsafe points and can lead to deep-state phenomena. The method also allows the practice of incorporation and utilisation, so is an all-round excellent tool in the kit. The method basically consists of utilising any induction method briefly - then returning the client to as full an awareness as possible and asking them about their experience. The therapist then continues the induction, either with the same method or a different one, incorporating, utilising and amplifying the client’s response. The process is then repeated, bringing the client up to a slightly “under” state of awareness, asking them about their experience, then dropping them back down again with the continued or a new induction. Imagine it like a Yo-Yo that you let spool out a little and bring it sharply back up, then drop it a bit lower and bring it just a little back up, then slowly drop it further and further whilst bringing it less back up each time. Example T[herapist]: So, with insomnia [for example], even with your eyes closed it feels like you can’t go to sleep or relax?

I’d like you to close your eyes first, just for a moment, and tell me what you notice with your eyes firmly closed? C[lient]: I’m more aware of sounds, like the traffic. T: That’s good. You can open your eyes now. Yes, when in a deep trance, people often say that they become aware of very different things. I’d like you to close your eyes again now and see what else you might notice. You can listen to the traffic if you decide to. [Notice that we have put in a contradiction of representation systems, as the client has started by reporting what they can hear when their ability to see is changed]. C: Hm. I’m noticing the cool air on my neck. T: Yes, now as you notice that cool air and your breathing, listening to the traffic or forgetting to listen to it, that’s all good, you can slowly open your eyes when you are ready to become a little bit more aware of this room. [We have now introduced the idea of levels of awareness and “this room” as opposed to an implied “not this room”. We have also asked the client to slowly open their eyes.] That’s great you are noticing those things [reinforcement, reward] and now, I’d like you, on your next deep breath in, slowly close your eyes and return to that level of deeper awareness. You can wait until your breathing slows or your body relaxes more … [etc.] … and then, when you have found the most relaxed part of your whole body right now, you can slowly drift up for a moment and open your eyes if you can. What else are you feeling right now? C: [slowly] A bit strange, like my head is a bit woolly.

T: That’s right, and as you close your eyes again you might find so much space in that wooliness, a strange feeling like nothing you may have felt before as you relax even further down into that calm slow space inside … [etc.] And if you want, you can still open your eyes that are shut, or simply go deeper into that interesting, relaxed space and listen to the silence between the words and remember to forget something that needs not to be remembered whenever we most want to find relaxation when we need it or least expect it that’s good to know … We can then either continue to bring the client back up a little notch or two and drop them even more deeply, or work at this level to introduce our intervention or other suggestions for the issue. Sometimes you can be brave and ask the client if they feel in a deeper state with their eyes open or closed, which can lead to deepstate phenomena in an open-eye state, such as hallucination, reduction of sense of pain, regression, etc.

Post Hypnotic Suggestions Whatever induction method or approach used, as part of an outduction we can introduce post-hypnotic suggestions. These are woven into the main body of the intervention language to shore up ratify - change-work after the session. There is a wealth of material that can be built into post-hypnotic suggestions, and I tend towards those time-pacing the attention to future change and focusing on positive outcomes. I also tend to base suggestions on naturally occurring and verifiable events, “next week” rather than specific changes which might be resisted, such as “after the first two pounds have been lost”. Here are ratifications:

some

simple

post-hypnotic

suggestions

and

… and only open your eyes when you are ready to take all of that learning into those places where you can use it now. … because it’s interesting and important to know those things that we can best remember to do all the things easily and naturally of most importance to our deeper self, that deeper self that is with us all the time, breathing, relaxing, shifting our attention to a more focused and yet relaxed state in the room right here and now … … so it may be tomorrow already that you notice those changes that mean the most to you, or the day after that day, the day after tomorrow, to be able to look back and already know that one day has passed with those changes … … when you begin to think about all those things that can change now, relaxing into them so they can go as deep as they need to go when you are ready to open your eyes and reorientate to the room …

In all cases, our induction should usually be delivered in an increasingly focused, sharper and natural way, moving tonally and in terms of volume from the voice we may have sunk into during our induction and intervention phases. We will next turn to a selection of different methods we can use in opening our session, particularly in guiding clients or even our friends to a more positive outlook.

POSITIVE OUTCOME FRAMES

The Radio Cumbria Pattern I was driving to work one day early in the morning and turned on the local station, Radio Cumbria. The presenter was just in the middle of saying something, and I caught “So, before we begin today, I just wanted to tell you about …”. I thought this was somewhat odd, linguistically and in terms of literal truth; he had already begun his show, he could not just simply say “before we begin” and make it otherwise. So, I wondered whether this pattern could be used in any other way and discovered it useful for an elegant re-framing; which we will cover in more detail later in this book. However, for now, you can try it yourself – it works for a brief while and allows you to elicit or frame a situation to the best context. As it is said, “who controls the frame, controls the game”. Here are some examples of the pattern, the first “language pattern” you will learn and presented in the way we will present all those following, like so: “Before [context to frame subsequent state] then [positive context of immediate state] …” I write the quotes to show words you can say, and the [square brackets] to show where to place appropriate content. You can vary the words used in different situations and to your own delivery and natural voice, so long as you follow the basic pattern. I also place chains of patterns together with […] to indicate that some patterns are useful after another pattern. I will then give you examples, which will make far more sense of the pattern, and encourage you always to listen for your own patterns – in everything you say - and when other people seem to

“get away” with something just by talking or change the state of others easily by their words. From now on, you will not (as Bandler says) give anyone an inch in their words through which they can escape. Before we deal with anything too contentious, let’s quickly agree the dates of the event. [Frames the dates of the event as not contentious] Before you tell me anything too difficult, can you tell me a little bit about your parents? [Frames talking about the parents as not too difficult] Before you fully experience deep hypnosis, tell me a little of what you already know about it. This is also a form of “future pacing” and several other forms of language pattern, all wrapped up in a simple sentence structure from a Radio Cumbria presenter one morning. The world will become a new experience for you as you begin to hear how every sentence spoken by anyone is a form of hypnosis, even the terrible examples such as “cheer up, it might never happen” or the even worse, “what’s the worst that can happen?” I hope that you will begin to resist the attempts to hypnotise you into negative states and seek to speak in a manner which promotes positive, constructive, and creative states. Which brings us onto our next exercise before we even begin inductions. It might be useful to know what to do with someone when you get them to where you will be taking them, to not waste a good opportunity.

Positive State List It is worth the practitioner listing as many positive states as they can and constantly adding to the list. These positive states can then be recognised and elicited at choice, fostering the resources to build preparation and recovery. Positive resources also provide the impetus for action, so by amplifying the state, often the resource and behaviour will naturally follow.[85] Amplifying a state of curiosity in a client before they attend a party will result in their building of “self-confidence” as the state will take them into interested engagement with others, socialising and risk-taking. I usually elicit a subject in which a client with lack of confidence is curious about and engage them with being curious about how they are curious about it, amplify it, then anchor it to a trigger they can activate when required in their life. A Starter List of Positive Resource States Confidence

Contentment

Curiosity

Enthusiasm

Excitement

Happiness

Love

Optimism

Peacefulness Note that “negative” emotions can also be powerful resource states and lead us to discover deeper structure. A feeling of jealousy, for example, must exist in a field of values of self-worth, justice, and the ability to rate accomplishment, behaviour, or other factors. We can incorporate and utilise those values in much the same way as positive emotions. In this case, we might elicit and amplify on a 1-10 scale the ability of the client to measure (justice) the things in which they find self-fulfilment. This would likely work towards making jealousy a redundant or obsolete emotion, particularly if that specific feeling was folded into a minus scale of value in comparison with the positive values. Practice: Positive State Stories The student should collate their own stories that generate specific positive states, such as confidence or peacefulness. These can be fictional or from real experience, drawn from popular tales or - most effectively - from the client’s own accounts. In later sections we will see how these states can be anchored and triggered during a client session, so the stories should be brief and reasonably dramatic, such as the tale of the young boy who spent his schooltime playing cards. He was sent to a career advisor

prior to leaving school who asked him what he did with his time. He answered, “I just play cards” and without skipping a beat, the advisor replied, “have you thought of a career in casinos?” That boy is now a top inspector at one of the biggest casinos in London. Practice: Negative State Radar A personal practice is to listen to those people who seem to generate a negative state - in themselves and those around them. Become curious as to exactly how they manage to do so. This is a precursor to the detailed modelling which we will cover in the next book. Listen for the exact moment that the negative state starts. Is it an expression that changes on their face, something they do with their body? Is it always the same? Is it the tone of their voice or the volume which changes? If you consider the content of their communication, do they always tell a story, do they always imagine something negative? If so, how do they represent that? Are they viewing the imagined scene or recollection, as if watching from a second person, or are they “in” the scene from a first person perspective? If you have even a few observations, you can then watch what happens when the same person moves into a positive state. You may be surprised by how obvious the contrast of representation becomes - usually (but not always) the exact opposite of the negative state. For example, a person might always talk about how hopeless things are in life with a first-person perspective, but whenever they talk about something good, where hope has achieved a result in someone else’s life, they might use a second or third-person perspective. And, as with every exercise or practice, when you can do this with others, make time to practice on yourself. As Richard Bandler

exhorted in one workshop, “you have to go there first”. You Would Not Believe What I Just Heard. Eliciting and Transferring Negativity. Following exercise at a gym, I walked into a packed steam room in the spa area and found a place to sit. It appeared I had walked in during the midst of a conversation between two people nearby, obscured by the steam. A man was nervously answering a woman who was repeatedly asking him questions. He was describing a sports injury and saying that he could no longer run as he had done before. The woman was replying with increasing negative prompts, such as “Oh, that must be horrible”, “My god, that’s really terrible for you”, and “That sounds so bad”. The man was generally brushing these off and replying in the positive, such as “Well, at least I avoided a wheelchair”. At a certain point, he replied “I’ve not been able to race around with my children as much”, to which the woman replied in a voice of exaggerated horror, “Ah, I’d kill myself if that happened”. At that point I realised that if the steam room was so full, the small sauna area would be empty. I had heard enough of that conversation for a good NLP story and was not in a place where I could have interrupted it, so left the room. I walked across to the sauna room and it was welcomingly empty, so I had taken the higher shelf and lay down with my eyes closed, listening to the muted piped-in sounds of forest birdsong. I heard the door open and felt someone take up position on the shelf below me, likely thinking I had been there for some time. And then her voice interrupted me - it was the woman from the steam room. “Oh, you wouldn’t believe what I’ve just heard…”, she said, before taking a deep breath and pouring out the tragic tale. It turned out that not only do some people tend to draw out the most negative feelings in others, but they also like to then transfer them to other people.

The Way-In Word I like the word ‘just’ – it shows when the person is on the edge of their belief. - Richard Bandler (in conversation). Another key component to NLP Magick is what I call the “way-in” word; the word ‘just’. It appears in speech as an indication of something which is often just conscious enough to be recognised, but unconscious in terms of its function or other element of its existence. If a client is presenting a long list of issues, the ‘just’ word will often appear in exactly the place where the best ‘way-in’ to all their issues will be found. As an example: I am feeling stressed most of the time now, but I have been under pressure at work. It’s playing on my mind at home and affecting my diet, so I want to exercise more and it’s just like I can’t remember what’s important and I should say I really need to work on my relationship too. If you can help me stop smoking that would also be really good. In this example, we hear the word ‘just’, preceding, “I can’t remember what is important”, so unless there were other clear indicators, I would first work with the person’s recall of their own values prior to any of the other requested work; stress, diet, relationship, work, smoking, etc. Sometimes, it is almost as if the unconscious is just despairing of the conscious list of issues and signals the real core of the issue with this simple word. And it is easy to just miss it - so listen for it carefully. You just never know how useful it might be in your work.

In NLP terms, the little word ‘just’ can often be the signpost to “the difference that makes a difference”. It is a little triangle on which a big lever can often be placed for maximum impact.

The Way-Out Word Whilst it may be a familiar component of 80’s Valleyspeak, the word “like” also allows a person a way-out of direct identification or attachment, responsibility and even out of the reality of a situation, as in “It was like a scene from a film”. In so-called Valleyspeak, the word is used as both an adverb and a discourse marker, for example, in “We were talking for like, hours” it is being used as a replacement adverb for “roughly, about, approximately”, and in “I can’t get, like, how rude he was” it is being used as a place-holder or marker. When utilised in NLP Magick, it can be a powerful word and the flipside to the way-in word. We tend to listen for “just” and “like” alike, but also utilise both “just” and “like” in the same way as we will see with more complex language patterns. We can also consider them together, as in “it was just like she was doing it to make me angry”. I first came across the usage in a McDonald’s restaurant, where I was sat with my back to a gaggle of teenage girls. One was declaiming to the rest about a boy, in this way: So, it was like he was just ignoring me and I like couldn’t believe it, is he doing it, like, to just hurt me or what? I texted him and he like, didn’t even answer, like he didn’t even care I’d got him the tickets … Here we can see that the likely intensely-felt emotions are being displaced with the word “like”, predicating an internal disassociation from: He was ignoring me, probably to hurt me, and he did not care about me.

Which has already been temporally removed from: He does not care about me and is now hurting me by ignoring me. Whether this is a surface to deep congruence or otherwise, we can clearly see how the simple way-out word of “like” can predicate (and suggest) a dissociation from a state. In NLP and hypnotherapy, we can utilise this word by temporarily removing a client from their emotional state whilst we elicit more content: So, it’s like you are depressed all the time?

When I listen to you, you are telling me that you are like a hopeless person?

And is that the case, that you’re like that? This is particularly useful when a client is fully identified in one stuck state and must never violate the cardinal NLP Magick rule of “never deny anyone their state”. This is a temporary bypassing, not a hijacking. No-One Gets Out Alive In 1968, a U.S. Public Health survey showed that 85% of the population had one or more symptoms that we would call bad first-circuit imprinting or conditioning. These symptoms included dizzy spells, heart palpitations, wet palms and frequent nightmares. This means that 85 out of the next 100 people you meet should be regarded as, more or less, "the Walking Wounded”.

- Robert Anton Wilson, Prometheus Rising.[86] There are three useful metaphors in self-change work to which I often return, two from the titles of books, and the third a Japanese term: Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway.

Become Strong in the Broken Places.

Kintsugi. The first two of these phrases is best described by the books of which they are titles.[87] The third, Kintsugi, is the Japanese word meaning “golden joinery”. This refers to the art of fixing broken ceramics with gold lacquer. The resultant repaired piece is considered an example of wabi-sabi, the embracing of the imperfect or broken. Such pieces are works of art in themselves, an aesthetic that celebrates and highlights the repairs, demonstrating that even that which is broken can be healed, and made even the more beautiful for it. During your own work with NLP Magick, you are encouraged to find your own metaphors for the wholeness of life, the process of healing and the nature of wounds. As Wilson proposes, we might most of us be the walking wounded.

The Trans-Derivational Search Another lovely linguistic twister, yet with a simple explanation and power, the trans-derivational search is a process which happens when someone asks: Where was your best holiday so far?

What do you think is the worst food?

When was the last time you were really surprised? In all these cases, we can usually answer fairly quickly, particularly if it is a question that we have been asked one or many times before. The neural paths to those answers have often already been well laid. However, even with a new question, we can often answer rapidly. When we think about the actual sorting process that must go on unconsciously to judge the “best” holiday, then we can also consider that the search must access more than one holiday to make some assessment. In doing so, it is considered a “transderivational” search, one that goes across many components to derive the result. This may seem abstract, but in practice, we hear it every day, when some people just seem to be able to bring down the mood, for example. If we listen, we may hear them saying, “this is the worst day possible” or “have you ever seen such a terrible thing?” and so on.

They are literally forcing - hypnotising, if you will - your unconscious to go searching through every terrible thing you have ever seen, in order to respond to the question, even if that response is to ignore it. In NLP Magick, we would prefer to offer positive transderivational searches when possible and keep our utterances of the negative to a minimum. So, when asking a client about their situation: When was a time when you felt most positive?

What feeling is the best feeling?

What is the thing you do to feel most focused?

When you feel the happiest, what is that like now? Or in hypnosis: Feeling the most relaxed you have felt.

Remembering the times you were truly content.

Thinking of the greatest music you have ever heard.

The Magic Wand Technique A useful question to elicit secondary gains (orders of change) is given by Grinder: How would your life be different if you suddenly simply didn’t do [pattern of behaviour]?[88] For example: How would things be different for you if you suddenly simply stopped drinking alcohol? This can also be turned into the magic wand technique, by asking: If we could wave a magic wand just now, without any further work, and your [situation, challenge, etc.] went away, what would that be like? How would you be when you left here? How would you know that change had happened? For example: If we could wave a magic wand just now, without any further work, and your depression was gone, what would that be like? How would you be when you left here?

Positive Outcome Frame NLP and Hypnotherapy are solution-orientated approaches, that is, they work towards finding a solution in the present and future rather than necessarily analysing the situation through the past behaviour or entire history of the client. Both NLP and hypnotherapy also belong in the field of brief therapy or time-limited counselling; a course of sessions will sometimes be a single session, 3-4 sessions or 12 sessions at most.[89]

Introduction This structure is based on those people who can think their way to a more likely positive result from any starting position. It allows us to frame our goals in a particular manner to ensure that they are most likely to be accomplished. I find that the most interesting aspects of this for people are firstly very few people make or know a simple “first step” to achieve their ambition, and sometime there are also unconscious associations with success that actually we would not want to achieve! So those two areas of this format are very important to fully detail. One would-be author was blocked by her inability to start writing. She wanted to be a writer more than anything. When she was asked about what success would mean, one of her off-hand responses was “Oh, I suppose I’d be on television being interviewed, but I’m a very private person”. When this was picked up, it revealed that the person believed that success would mean exposure and that was undesirable. When they learnt that many successful authors could still maintain their privacy – in fact, they were told about some very reclusive authors – this unconscious resistance was dispelled and within a few days they had started to produce what became their first novel. The Method The aim of this format is to ensure that you are framing your desire(s) to change in the most successful way! Firstly, what do you really, really want? Be as free as you need in considering this question, and if you find you want a lot of things, then write them all down on separate sheets! It doesn’t matter at this stage if you don’t know what you want more, or which outcome you want sooner, just write them all down – one desire per booklet. This is not a ‘wish list’ or a ‘plea to the universe’ – it is a statement of your current goals, aspirations, and Will to action. You will probably change many of them as you progress, but having your Will stated in the positive is an important step in a magical life.

Ask this question about the context you are considering. State what you want in positive terms, i.e., what do you want, and what do you want it to do? Where do you want it? When do you want it? E.g., 'I want to be, do or have X'. If the answer forms as 'I do not want...' then ask, 'What do I want instead of ...'. What I want … Is it achievable? Is it possible for a human being to achieve the outcome? If it has been done by someone, then in theory it can be done by you, too. If you are the first, find out if it is possible. Tick the box when you know it is achievable. Yes, it is likely to be achievable ☐ What will I accept as evidence that I have achieved my outcome? What evidence will you accept that lets you know when you have the outcome? Ensure that your evidence criteria are described in sensory based terms i.e., that which you can see, hear and/or touch that proves to you and/or others that you have done what you set out to do. I will know it when it happens:☐ How specifically will I know? What will I look like, what will others be doing – what will I see, hear, feel? Is achieving this outcome within my control? Is it under your control, i.e., can you, personally do, authorize, or arrange it? Anything outside your control is not 'well formed'. Instructing your solicitor is within your control. So is buying in expertise. Asking your employer for time off is not. The time off will only become well-formed if it is granted. This outcome is within my control: ☐ If not, what further steps do you have to take to make it under your control? Are the costs and consequences of obtaining this outcome acceptable? Ensure that the outcome is worth the time, outlay and effort involved in achieving it, and that impact on third parties or the environment is accounted for. Think about the time in terms of

other goals; are you sure you want to commit time to this goal if others will have to be set aside? The effort is acceptable: ☐ What costs, resources, time, energy, will be invested into achieving this outcome? Do I have all the resources I need to achieve my outcome? Do you have or can you obtain all the resources, both tangible and intangible that you need to achieve your outcome? Resources include knowledge, beliefs, objects, premises, people, money, and time. The effort is acceptable: ☐ What attitude do I need to achieve this outcome? What words describe how I will approach this achievement with a positive mind (i.e., strong, determined, flexible, smart, loving, etc.)? If I could have it now, would I take it? Are all costs and consequences of achieving your outcome, including the time involved, acceptable to you and anyone else affected by it? This is known as ecology. Consider the costs, consequences, environmental and impact on others of having the outcome. You may be surprised when you think about it that your achievement of this goal may require others to change also – are you willing to get what you seek? Yes, I would accept this change and accomplishment right now: ☐ What might change around you when you have achieved this goal? There are some other questions that may have meaning to you and are worth considering if you want to deeply power this goal with everything that you are. What are the advantages of making this change? What are the disadvantages of making this change? What will achieving this lose you? Values

It is important also to consider which values and beliefs are coming into play to drive you towards a goal (or away from something you want to change). What's important to you about getting this? What would you get from it?

What would it give you?

What is the benefit of this outcome? Finally, and most importantly now, What is the first action you must take to achieve this outcome? If you have any further ideas, realisations or notes that came to mind whilst completing this sheet, please draw, sketch or note them here: We should also bear in mind, that for a change to be best effected, it has to ideally be:

□

DESIRABLE - have we gone through the positive outcome frame and remain convinced that we have set a desirable goal?

□

POSSIBLE - do we feel that it is entirely possible to achieve our goal, no matter what challenges or difficulties may already be identified?

□ APPROPRIATE - does it seem an appropriate goal for our own individual narrative in life? And we must be:

□

CAPABLE - are we already capable or have the means to become capable of making this change?

□

DESERVING - do we truly feel that we deserve this change? Writers Block. Creativity Block/Positive Outcome Frame. Often, we plan around failure and not success. Often, success contains situations for which we have not planned. Often, we fear to succeed at failing and fail to fear never failing to succeed. The positive outcome frame allows us to open these fears successfully. A client came to me with “writer’s block” and she told me that she had lots of ideas but could not even start to write. We worked through the Positive Outcome Frame and reached the question, “what would happen if you could not not fail?” [deliberate double negative]. The client excitedly told me that she would be successful and would be interviewed - and even be interviewed on the television. “Mind you,” she said as a meta-comment, “I would hate that - I’m a very private person”. During further ‘casual’ conversation I wove in many examples of world-famous authors that also managed to maintain their privacy. I then double-bound this frame by making suggestions that the more successful an author was, the more they could maintain their privacy. Within the next three weeks, the client and not only started, but completed the first two chapters of their novel.

RAPPORT & ELICITATION

Rapport: Mirroring, Pacing, Leading Establishing a close rapport with another mind can be a distinct disadvantage at times. - The Foreign Hand Tie by Gordon Randall Garrett.[90] In NLP, rapport-building is sometimes seen as the key-stone to the practice, but I tend to disagree to some extent. Rapport is certainly the mainstay when taught in “dating” or “attraction” (“charisma building”) types of workshops and seminars. It is true that the relationship between the client and the therapist appears to be the most critical factor in any change-work, beyond even any particular modality.[91] Similarly, I have come to think that whatever is actually going on, the methods we use are merely the conscious delivery of something far more complex, intangible and unimaginably deep. So, I teach rapport for the syllabus, and because it promotes sensory acuity – a closer observation of other people’s states and behaviour, but not because it is anything other than annoying to have someone try and match your body movements as you are saying something important. Rapport comes from the French ‘en-rapport’ which means to be in harmony with something; in turn it comes from the Latin ‘apportare’, meaning to report, bring back, or to refer. In our context, it is when we find a correspondence between external behaviour or internal patterns of thought with our client; something which can be engineered through an entirely natural process. Mirror Neurons Whilst many findings in neuro-science can be applied to NLP, or used to debunk NLP, I tend to consider them metaphors which can

be used to give a context to our models and hence make them even more practical or easier to explain and learn. If we imagine that once upon a time, we all went out hunting together, and we would have to know when our fellow tribesmen were all ready to attack an animal, without much vocal signalling or other communication which would alert the prey, it is possible to consider that we would have rapidly learnt to read each other’s intentions. Those who did not, did not eat. Whilst the function and presence of “mirror neurons” in the brain is still a topic of debate and research, it does seem that parts of the primate brain do activate not only when performing some activity, but on observing another perform that same activity. This perhaps could be considered a rudimentary form of “empathy” and almost certainly a mechanism for learning by imitation. In our present context, mirror neurons give us a metaphor for rapport building; the aim is to mirror the other person in some way or lead them through their own mirroring process towards a certain state of mind or behaviour. We do this to ourselves when we ‘self-comfort’, mirroring our own parents soothing gestures on our body when we hold ourselves or pat ourselves in self-congratulation. Pacing Anger An observation made by John Grinder during work with Virginia Satir may assist us when a client demonstrates an outburst of anger. [92] Whilst we may not incorporate the entire approach, which involves matching and pacing the client, then re-iterating their outburst in the same manner, whilst pacing it down to a calmer state, we might find the following language pattern useful: … now that you have adequately expressed the [emotion, i.e. anger or confusion, etc.] you genuinely felt [past tense], are

you willing to talk about the deep feelings of hurt that lie beneath them?

Anchors Away The concept of anchors, next to mirroring and leading, is a wellworn trope of NLP and hypnosis. The idea that we can anchor someone to feel something when we fire the same trigger for the anchor is obviously alluring.[93] However, as ever, anchors are a little more subtle and powerful than at first we may admit - try pointing and wagging your finger at an adult, close to their face, particularly from an higher vantage point, even whilst saying something absolutely neutral, and you will see how long an anchor can last. Another test of the power of anchors is to firmly tug at someone’s hand whilst telling them to “come on”, or similar statements like “we haven’t got all day”. You might observe a significant age regression, and strangely enough, also in the way the person reacts to the actual regression. As we have seen, we are not the first hypnotist on the scene, and we should spend a little time considering our own anchors for altered states. It could be a piece of music, a very particular way someone looks at us, or the sight of a particular tree on the way home, each of these existing anchors can be positive or negative. I sometimes ask clients - and always, students - to spend a week completing an anchor diary, for both at home and at work, should they work in a different environment. This can be instructive and lead to changes in behaviour, particularly avoiding negative anchors and generating positive and new ones.[94]

My Anchors AT HOME Good

AT WORK Bad Good

Bad

V – Sights A – Sounds K– Touch/Feelings O – Smells G – Tastes When we talk about anchors in NLP, we usually refer to a state anchor, which is usually seen to be set by the therapist. Once this anchor has been set, it can be triggered to elicit the state - so the theory goes. In practice it is more sensitive, and we should be elegant with our usage of anchors.[95] An anchor should be set with a state which is: At the Point of Highest Intensity (peak)

Brief (repeatable)

Unique (distinct) So, when I was learning how to parachute, for a whole day we practised sliding out of the plane, with a touch on the shoulder each time, followed by us counting “1 - 2 - 3 - check!” When actually in the

plane, having been introduced to the bowie knife strapped to the inside of the door which we had been told would be used to cut us free of the plane if our chute got tangled, when we were tapped on the shoulder, it was “1 - 2 - 3 - check!” even as we plummeted through the sky. The anchor was set at a precise point (before the slide and count) and for the highest intensity - the moment before the slide across the plane floor and the jump. It was brief, merely one touch on the shoulder accompanied with “go”. And it was unique, so much so that thirty years later I can still recall it. The Circle of Excellence is a good pattern to learn when practising anchors, as much of the success of that technique is down to eliciting and triggering an anchored state. I will now cover a few of the things we can do with anchors, in order of their ease of use and effectiveness in my own practice. Your mileage may vary.

Stacking Anchors By adding more states to our anchors, we run the risk of collapsing them (see later) or confusing them, so stacking is best done by utilising corresponding states. A state of curiosity can be stacked onto a state of excitement for example, or a state of clarity can be stacked onto a state of relaxation. If you stacked a state of curiosity onto relaxation you might produce a single state of lazy bemusement, although this would be worth the experiment. To stack a state the usual method taught is to apply the “anchor” to the same place, for example, touching someone on the back of their hand when each state is elicited, fired and amplified. I prefer to use it spatially, as it is naturalistic, particularly in a client setting, anchoring the states to their chair.[96] If, for example, there are two available chairs for the client to sit in: Hello, do take a seat; you can choose either the seat of relaxation or the chair of comfort, whichever you want. Then later: That’s right, the chair you chose is also the chair of calmness, as some clients have called it, that state of calm drifting focus when you think about things that bring to mind that state of deepening calm, whether it is an ocean or … And again, later: … because where you are sat is the place of centring, like the middle of a circle, no matter how big the circle, there is also a single point in the centre where we can focus our attention on everything we have learnt, consciously and unconsciously …

We have now stacked and can utilise these three complicit states; physical relaxation, emotional calmness, and mental centring, as resources. The problem with stacking a state to a physical anchor is that the client may have very valid reactions to the physical act itself, of which the NLP practitioner may be unaware. So, a state of alarm may be stacked into any subsequent and literally heavy-handed approach. I would recommend the reader to consider aligned states and list them in categories; such as “curiosity, enquiry, learning” or “realisation, insight, connection” and practice eliciting them in oneself, anchoring them and then stacking them in one location.

Sliding Anchors A sliding anchor is the next most efficacious use of anchors, as it is analogue; that is, on a scale. So, we can ask the client to represent any state on a scale of 1-10 and observe where they place it with their non-verbal gesture. We can then take that physical anchor and widen it, shorten it, chop our hand along it in the air to make divisions, and then slide the anchor with the same gesture. Similarly, if a person is comfortable with it, we can take an anchor and then “blow it out” by scaling it up or down outside of any conscious consideration: Ah, so your sense of relaxation is presently 4 out of 10? [client motions their hands a few inches apart] [reaching over to gently move their hands comfortably but widely apart] … and as you close your eyes how does it feel to have that relaxation on a scale of one thousand? The therapist can also have the client elicit a state, amplify it, and then ask the client to touch their forefinger to their other wrist. They can then be shown how to amplify the state and move their finger a little up their arm, eventually to the elbow and then to their own shoulder with the most amplified state. Afterwards, if you ask the client to touch their shoulder again, it should trigger off a sliding-up of that state, or you can ask them to place their finger on the back of their other wrist again, and in one motion, slide it up to their shoulder.

Chaining Anchors The chaining of anchors is a similar method to that of a sliding anchor, only in this case, we chain several anchors to different states, and then fire off the first which should cascade the others. The usual method of doing is to set an anchor on your thumb, strange as that statement may sound. So, you might set that anchor to a state of high excitement and anticipation. Then, break that state and anchor a new state to the next finger. Ensure that you can fire that state, break state and then test the thumb again. Repeat this process for another finger - or all four fingers if you are feeling ambitious. Then, when each finger has a state that can be triggered, press your thumb to your first finger and trigger both states. Break state, then press your first and second finger together and trigger both states again. When you have successfully chained together each pair, it should only then take the triggering of the first state to set off the cascade of all states. Whilst this seems a little far-fetched, it does demonstrate how, when modelled, a lot of complex emotional states are generated in a logical sequence, even if unconsciously. Sometimes all it takes is one specific feeling to start before a whole chain of states and behaviours follow.

Collapsing Anchors I think for myself this is the technique that has caused most confusion and I rarely teach or use - again, your mileage may vary. The idea is that if we want to replace a behaviour or state, we can generate the negative state, and anchor it to our left hand, for example. Then we generate a positive state, anchor it to our right hand, and then “collapse” the two states by bringing our hands together, forcing our mind to merge the two states and - hopefullyelevating the positive one. When some students, even from the very first times I learnt or trained this, suggested they were merely left with a strange ambiguous feeling, it was given that if we amplified the positive state enough, it would always collapse the negative state. I have found this to rarely be the case, and it leads to such a strange and unproductive resolution that I no longer teach this method. I do, however, refer to reader to Zink’s Spinning Icons which is a far more elegant version of the concept. We will now look at several useful methods to employ at the start of a client session or to discover our own strategies and values.

Eliciting a Model through a Life-Swap This method is a simple conversational technique which I use to elicit a full model of a client’s unconscious strategy whilst also providing them disassociation from their problem state. It also uses You/I identity switching. Method In this method, take a notepad and ask the client to recount a day in their life as they experience the issue which is being presented. However, they must speak in the form of “You”, not “I”. So, they have to say to me “You wake up in the morning and …” not “I wake up in the morning and …” I introduce this method by asking the client if they have ever watched the TV series, “Faking It” and “Wife Swap”. I mention that in the latter show, my favourite bit is when the two women read the “rule book” that the other woman has written for them. I make a sidecomment that it is often surprising how differently some people happily live their lives. And how the shows demonstrate that some learning can come even out of doing things that seem totally like they belong to someone else’s life. I also mention that I watch this section of the show without the sound on so I can see their nonverbal reactions, which are part of every communication. These seed important messages for the unconscious. I then suggest to the client that I need to know what goes on for them in enough detail so that I could “fake it” if I was asked to become them for a day. I note their reaction to this – sometimes a client will look nervous and even say, “Oh, you wouldn’t want to be me with this problem”. This already begins to evidence potential for disassociating “the problem” from “me”. This can be amplified throughout the whole exercise by keeping in mind that you are modelling a pattern, not a being.

The client is then encouraged to tell me how they go about doing their issue during a day. I will try and elicit their pattern in typical VACOG models; asking, “So, do I need to tell myself that? In what way? What do I tell myself first?”, “Do I have to make pictures?” and comparing it to their unconscious eye-accessing and body language to calibrate it. I also tell the client repeatedly, things like “Yes, that’s right; you are telling me I need to then start to worry, but everyone worries in a very different way. I need to fake being you – and you are unique – so do I need to keep repeating that/moving my hands/etc…” This continually drives the message of their uniqueness and helps drill down to their core processes and representations. I will also try and elicit a TOTE model overall, so that we can identify the triggers and “maintenance routines” of the pattern. I might ask, “So, would I do this every morning?” or “How do I know when to stop?” Whilst the client may not have a conscious appreciation of their pattern, this method brings it to their attention and deepens awareness. It also implicitly disassociates them because they have to do it fully and feel some responsibility to you to “help” you fake their behaviour properly. One wise teacher once told me this is why confession – full confession – is good for the soul; in order to do it properly, you have to get outside it to explain it fully, thereby disassociating yourself. At some point, a threshold is reached which will be marked by the client saying something like: I can’t believe I do all of this.

I just don’t know what else to say.

It’s mad, isn’t it?

I never looked at it like this before. These types of statement show a conscious threshold has been passed and whilst you can continue the elicitation, it has already done its main work. The information gained using this brief method can also provide much raw material for incorporation and utilisation in following sessions. An ideal conclusion to this elicitation is to have a fully-mapped TOTE model of the client’s unconscious strategy with regard to their issue. You can then easily have this to hand when fixing, breaking, or amending their strategy in later intervention work. Note that this method is often flagged for use when a client utilises the “I/You” switch naturally and often in their own speech. A client who sits and says, “Oh, I am sorry I’m late, you know how it is when …” and goes on with “So, I don’t know where to start, it’s like when you just get to that point where you feel overwhelmed, right?” is ideal for this elicitation method. We will next turn to one of the most powerful techniques in the NLP Magick toolbox, taken from a brief note in one of the early classics of NLP, Change Your Mind (1987).

VALUES & BELIEFS

Value Elicitation This powerful method is a slight modification of the value elicitation found in Change Your Mind and Keep the Change (1987). [97] This method, originally called ‘elicitation of criteria’ is a hidden gem in the NLP field and all the more profound for dealing with a whole side of the NLP Magick therapeutic triangle. I call it simply the “Bin on the Head” [or “trash can on the head”] technique. It is the primary tool for working with the side of the therapeutic triangle labelled values and beliefs. I frame this technique to the client as a “slightly odd” method and tell them that there may be times in it that I will be confused, but that is because the method is progressing well. I also tell them that every person is unique and there is no single way of answering or engaging with the method. This allows me to suggest the uniqueness of the client and subtly state our common core value our own existence. I state that I will be making notes throughout the method as I usually do not make notes until after a session unless the methods require it, such as the “Day in the Life” method. I also point out - if the client asks - that the method will be working with their values, but I prefer not to tell them until afterwards, so it does not interfere with their answers. The method itself works around conscious filtering, but if we can avoid adding any conscious expectations, we will. I will refer to “litter bin” or simply “bin” for the British audience, for elsewhere please read it as “trash can”. The language suggestions for delivery of the method are indented [T for Therapist, C for Client] with commentary underneath each section and a final explanation given at the end.

Bin [Trash Can] on the Head T: Imagine that you are at a party, some gathering of a group of people. There is a litter bin in one corner. Why don’t you have it on your head? This abrupt and nonsensical question should help provoke an obvious or literal answer, which can be accepted by the therapist with the reinforcement that there is no such thing as a ridiculous answer. C: Because it wouldn’t even occur to me, it’s doing it’s job and I wouldn’t want to get messy if there was rubbish in it. T: Yes, it’s doing it’s job and why wouldn’t you want to be messy? C: Because I might have put a lot of time into getting ready for the party! We now have several - sometimes just one - value at play. The litter bin is merely a marker for collecting and successively violating values, as values exist in a hierarchy which the method will elicit. We would write down the values with a small + or - marker to remind us of the state of the litter bin; presently a “-“ as the bin is not on the client’s head. We also make a brief note of any direct quotes from the client within quotation marks, which helps review the sheet: - Logic [“occur to me”] / Employment [job] / time [“getting ready”]. We now force a violation of the first value or values as follows: T: Now, I know you initially didn’t see the bin on your head, but now, because we can imagine anything we want, I want you to imagine the same scene but now the bin is on your head.

What’s changed? What’s different so you now have the bin on your head? C: Er. Well. I guess I’m having fun, perhaps I’m playing a game? I can imagine people laughing because we’re having fun. This is now a higher-order value which has violated the first. So, we again mark it down, with quotes, in case we come back to slightly review our wording or the nature of the value. We mark it with a “+” as the client now has the bin on their head: + Amusement [“having fun”, “playing a game”]. As we progress in this method, it is important in NLP Magick to notice two other occurrences that have been observed in practice longer hesitations at some points, and a client constantly returning to a previous value. The first we call a threshold and mark it on our sheet as a dotted line between the prior value and the one following, and the second we call a loop, and mark it as an arrow returning to the previous value. I usually find that a loop precedes a threshold, particularly at the lower levels, but every client will offer new revelation.[98] The "thresholds" are seen when a person struggles (comparatively to their other responses) to find a new context for violating their previous value. The values that are sometimes bordered by two thresholds are often a "set" which has some significance. The "loops" often show conflicts or obsolete patterns which arise as avoidance or distraction. Sometimes it is difficult to live to a higher value, so we loop habitually down to a lower apparent necessity. We now violate the previous value and turn the bin scenario upside-down again. I sometimes make a pivot motion with my thumb and forefinger each time we flip the bin, and this sets up a useful expectation set and trigger for following reversals, when it is enough to smile and make the pivot motion again to allow the client to now reverse their imaginary scene:

T: So, now I’d like you to imagine that even though you could have fun playing a game with the bin, you are not doing so. The bin is now on the floor again, even though this stops you having some fun. What has changed, now you see that scene? Why are you not going to have fun? Note that I tend to avoid asking directly, “what’s important about that” or “what is that value” as sometimes we might get presented with what the client might think is consciously valuable to tell us depending on their values, of course. A good prompt, which we will see later in this transcript, is “What’s that giving you?” or “What would that give you?” C: Well, I guess that I’m being responsible, perhaps. Maybe it might hurt someone to be picking the bin up. We now note: - Responsibility [“hurt someone”]. And reply: T: OK, so now I want you - yes, you got it - to have the bin back on your head again in the scene. So, even though you are not being responsible, and it could hurt someone, why do you now have the bin on your head? We would accept the answer to “have fun” again, and mark a loop on our notes, but then prompt the client to respond with a different value: T: Yes, you could be having fun, but suppose you couldn’t have fun with the bin on your head, and you are not being responsible either - why have you got the bin now on your head? We ourselves now might be getting a bit confused about the location of the bin and our double negatives, “why would you not

have the bin not on your head…” but that is fine, it is part of going with the technique. C: OK, so I have got the bin on my head … but it’s not fun or responsible … OK … I guess I’m seeing someone I need to hide from, and the bin is covering my face. T: So, someone you need to hide from? And what’s that giving you, the bin on your head? C: Security? I guess. We note: + Security [“someone I need to hide from”]. Notice that security may be a different value to other possible responses, such as “safety” or “anonymity” or “time to think”, etc. We can now continue to elicit values all the way up the tree of hierarchies for the individual client. It usually comes down to the highest value “life” or “living” if we push the technique all the way to that conclusion: C: If someone was now threatening to kill me, I’d have the bin on [or off] my head. We complete the session by writing up the value hierarchy - from bottom up - on a separate piece of paper with the client, discussing any thresholds and loops, clarifying any answers, and feeding back to them their values and beliefs. We can offer to send them an electronic version, and I usually send several other hierarchies, anonymised and as given here, for comparison and completeness. I tell the client that no model can be entirely complete, and obviously we have only elicited the main values for a casual scenario, so I might have missed some, which they can add into the appropriate place:

LIFE … SECURITY ------------------------------------------------------------------RESPONSIBILITY* FUN TIME EMPLOYMENT LOGIC * I would draw a loop between RESPONSIBILITY and FUN. This allows the client to then engage in activity which includes comparison of values with others, increased empathy, recognition of difference, a sorting of their own values, and consideration of how they hold beliefs and their influence on behaviour and choices. This can be a powerful process, and in the following section we will combine it with time/space work for even more impact. We can also use the value elicitation in our language for any ongoing work in hypnosis, such as constructing a multiple embedded metaphor with consideration of the main values of the client. Here is another case narration, which may demonstrate the flexibility of the exercise and the requirement to maintain the essential drive to discern values, however the content and structure are taken during the communication. Case Dialogue

T: In this exercise, there’s really no right way of doing it, and I also may get confused as we go along. That’s all OK, that’s part of it working. I may ask you some really odd or very obvious questions, just answer as you wish, that’s all good. I will make some notes as we go along, and then share those with you when we are done. As we discussed, this is an exercise to take a look at what is important in our lives, and perhaps get some awareness of that and how it is playing out in our life. Ready? C: Sure. T: I want you to imagine a party, any group gathering where there are a lot of people. It’s a reasonably neutral event. And I want you to imagine there`s a rubbish bin at the party. Would you have it on your head? C: No, I wouldn’t like it. It would be a bit wet. I would add here … “a bit wet? And that’s ‘obviously’ a problem because …?” to elicit a little bit more about why the environment of the ‘bin is wet’ violates a selection criteria/value. The value here is likely then, personal hygiene or comfort. T: OK, but even if you don’t like it and it’s a bit wet, now imagine that the bin’s on your head. Under what circumstances has this happened? What has changed in the party or yourself? The bin is on your head. What explains that? C: Maybe I got into an argument and someone put it on my head. The first answer may be hesitant, so we can always encourage it, by repeating that there is no answer - affirming that every person who has ever done this exercise has produced something new and unique to themselves. Sometimes, when you think you might have heard every possible answer, a client will surprise you with one which is obvious to them and few other people. We are all the same, and different.

We might also now say, “… so someone put it on your head? Why has that happened?” or “How have you let that happen?” to get their participation criteria/value. For example, they might then answer “er … because they’re bigger than me” [value = being strong or capable] or “well, it’s because we’re both joking around” [value = humour]. T: And how would that feel? C: I would feel I shouldn`t drink so much and not jump into arguments. Maybe I should listen to others more. Here we might not be sure if the bin should come “off”, to violate a value and discern the next one in the hierarchy but we can also keep it “on” to explore the values at this level. We are here at BIN = ON and VALUE = NOT ARGUING, or more specifically, whatever they get out of not arguing, i.e., PEACE WITH OTHERS? The complication is that it is essentially a negative act in the scenario, they have let someone else perform the action, negating their participation. However, if we had questioned what they see as the ‘value’ in that, that keeps it somewhat clearer. But we may get confused with the double negatives. We could then go to “So, someone has put the bin on your head because of the argument, because you hadn’t listened? Now … even so … the bin is now off your head. What’s happened to change that?” The client is likely to say immediately, “well, because I’ve listened” which is returning to undo the previous violation. That is often the case as it demonstrates that they are probably very quick to realise that they should have just done something differently after not listening. If they do not return to the value, then it might indicate they are not that self-aware in that area of the issue.

T: So, even if you hadn’t drunk too much and you had listened to others, the bin is now on your head. How did it get there? C: If it’s there, that`s shoganai [the client had an upbringing in Japan and used this specific term for “something which cannot be helped”]. I would never do this to someone. I wouldn’t want to do the same thing. I don’t want to kill my character. I want to clean that bin with water. We can pause here and discuss “kill my character” as we are working with values, but this may take us along the side of the therapeutic triangle dealing with identity and self-image. We now have a double negation – shoganai, and empathy with another’s point of view. As we have possibly two values in one sentence, we can go from that to either: “Shoganai? And do you often experience this?” to elicit if it is part of the value structure - or – “You wouldn’t want to kill your character? Because then …?” to elicit the value in which that is a criterion. And it may be at this point the exercise could be dropped as there might be something really important and relevant to explore here. We can always return to the exercise or continue to hear “values” being brought to the surface in the rest of the conversation. We can then ask the client to put any later elicited values into their tree once we have shown them how they have arranged the first ones. T: Well, even if you would never do the same thing, the bin is on your head. Under what circumstances has this happened? C: [after a long pause signalling a threshold] When I was depressed. I just stayed home and slept. I couldn’t go out, couldn’t

walk, couldn’t talk – I was like the living dead. I adapted to everything. My life had no taste. There is now something arising from the unconscious, as there is no immediate and conscious statement that this is in response to the scenario and question about the bin. We can possibly go there again; “so, this is related to your character being killed? What keeps your character alive?” Or we can continue. T: Ah, so even though you felt you couldn’t do much and your life had no taste, would there be any other circumstances in which the bin would be on your head? We may not be keeping an accurate track of the bin, but this is fine, so long as the bin is remaining a digital marker on/off between each value. It is only a convenient linguistic placeholder at the end of the day. It is alright to make an on/off switch if the client is clear on all levels that we are moving on from the previous value. C: [another long pause, another threshold, close to the other one] To help someone. It`s not my character. It’s a single gesture, like giving water, and so on. They don`t need my chatting and talking. T: And if you did this, what would that give you? The question, “What would that give you” is a useful evocation in this exercise. Client: Peace. They would have the same freedom [Peace is the value]. We can at this stage now discern the elicitation of the values, the criteria of choice: Peace.

The Freedom of Other People.

Communication [the comment “they don’t need my chatting…” which can be turned round to be a statement about the value of communication, albeit phrased in the negative].

Life Having Taste [to be explored further].

Personal Freedom/Volition [against which Shoganai acts]?

Helping others.

Tastefulness [discernment].

Cleanliness [water].

Character [to be explored further].

Personal Comfort.

In this elicitation, there is much to now explore as we and the client might wish. It is of note that this client has several control issues regarding others, striking a balance between their own will, the will of others and the universal will. That probably takes a lot of effort on their part to mind-read other people, resulting in overcommunication to keep checking whether they have the intention of others clear in their own head, which of course can never be fulfilled. How does the client maintain these values, and at what cost?

Beliefs We can now - once we have our value hierarchy - fill in beliefs on a new column, where we match our beliefs to the value field in which they are held. A belief, for example, about "capital punishment" can only exist in a value field of "the importance of life (or otherwise)", no matter what belief is held about the subject. I believe it is important to succeed [Value: Security, i.e., from Financial Success].

I believe we should all love one another [Value: Recognition, i.e., from “peace” or “love”].

I believe that everyone is equal [Value: whatever value is used to measure equivalence].

It is good to go to the gym [Value: Survival, Life, or Health]. It is important not to get too tied in with narrowing down a specific value or articulating a belief, the process is valuable in itself and some values live inside other ones in their own tree. The Unbeliever. Personal Identity/Value Elicitation. Once, when demonstrating the value elicitation method to a group, the volunteer was a person whose espoused extremely strong religious beliefs. These were apparent in his value hierarchy,

but he seemed to be ‘making up’ exactly where they were in his hierarchy, to present a version of himself that was not congruent to his actual identity. This was manifest in his repetition of certain values in different words and his constant correction of himself, which I had never encountered (before or since) in an elicitation. He kept saying things like, “No, that’s wrong, I wouldn’t put the bin on my head because I was [whatever], I’d be doing it still because of [earlier value]”. In following the approach of incorporation and utilisation I decided to assist by disassociating his ‘real’ and ‘presented’ self by simply suggesting he watch himself in his mind answering the questions and reported back to me what he was saying in answer to each prompt. This had a totally different result; instead of disassociating himself, he removed his values so he could see them. I suspect he had felt he might reveal himself more by doing what was suggested, so had tried to get around it by doing something different. Fortunately, his unconscious had - I took it - brought him up as a volunteer for a reason. The fracture of his identity was possibly causing issues and his unconscious processors had perhaps taken an opportunity to be heard. What he did was say, “I can see my answers in little building blocks in front of me”, so he stayed as ‘one identity’, remaining associated, but now had his ‘answers’ where he could see them. We continued to elicit his answers to each twist of the bin, on and off his head, whilst I also pointed out specifically which value was being elicited - I usually do not do this until after the work, but here was an exception. So, each coloured brick now had the words “Honesty”, “Truth”, “Goodness”, “Worship”, “Responsibility”, “Law”, and so forth, up until “God”, which, after several self-corrections, he managed to put at the top. I asked him to now take a deep breath and put that tower of bricks further outside of himself so we all could see it clearly. As he patently wanted this to be the case, he did so, imaging that the rainbow of bricks was now outside of him, and we could all see it.

I then gently asked him to open his eyes and tell us, “without bringing those bricks back inside, who are you now?” He opened his eyes, and it was apparent his identity state was now utterly different - he even, as some students said afterwards, looked different in his facial features. Tears came to his eyes, and he simply said, after a long pause of several minutes to process how it was to have no beliefs at all, “just me”. From there we were able to ask another student to practice the method with him, as part of our group-work in pairs, and they elicited a far more congruent hierarchy of values for him. We left that pile of bricks he had first presented where it was. EXERCISE I sometimes ask students to see if they can guess the job, type of person, and their challenges, from the Value Hierarchy of that person. It can be uncanny in how these values and their importance shape our whole life. Notice in each case example where there may be thresholds and loops. The questions you can ask for these examples, and all those you come to generate, firstly for yourself, and then for others, include: What might be the case if the thresholds are quite low or quite high?

What behaviour pattern might the loops represent in real life?

What beliefs might be placed into the cloud of beliefs against each value - and could some of those beliefs be contradictory?

What behaviours, role and employment might be the case for someone with this hierarchy of values?

What events in life might significantly “shake” someone’s values and beliefs, in each unique case? Some things might not impact one person as another, even if they experience the same event.

Time/Value Audit The most powerful methods in NLP Magick are those that operate on the corners of the therapeutic triangle. This method, the Time/Value Audit is extremely simple - once the value hierarchy has been elicited - yet deceptively powerful, as it works to join both time/space and value in the real life of the client. It will then starkly show any lack of congruity between these two fundamental areas of our life - see the Garden Centre vignette. We can work with clients to also audit their activities and behavior in a third column, by "time blocks". I ask them to imagine that the right-hand column is a single one-week block of time, and to color in blocks of time matching the percentage of a week they spend sleeping, working, and other activities to fill in the average for a whole week. We then match those blocks of time against the values, drawing a line between every activity and any values which are met or recognized in that activity. This can be a one-to-one relationship or one-to-many; a block of one hour a week spent on a book club site might be linked to several values such as "learning", "self-worth" and "social connection". This allows us to think about how congruent a life is being led to our values and this in turn can move attention to make changes or provokes insight.[99] In the case example, we see where there is a constellation of values around structure and caring, but also a conflict with independence, which is only met by watching TV shows. There is a great deal of value being met by spending time with relatives in this case - this may be due to a particular period of time, or it may be because those values are not being met by other activities. As ever, there is no right or wrong way of either constructing or living to a value hierarchy; it is for eliciting a conscious awareness of the main drivers in our life in order to make more informed and congruent decisions as to where we spend our attention.

Garden Centre. Career Change/Value Hierarchy. Sometimes the smallest things can have the most life-changing impact. In one session a client was working through her value tree and we had elicited ten or twelve values. We then listed her daily activities which - other than sleep - consisted of her job in accounting work and her family. There was a brief block of time for her gardening. When we aligned her values to her activities it became immediately apparent – incredibly so – that none of her values were being met in the bulk of her activity and yet all of them were being met by her gardening. This was a major revelation to the client, and we concluded the session with an assessment for her to consider these results. Several months later the client telephoned me and with some excitement said she had something to tell me. She told me that she had left her lucrative accounting job to which I replied, “That’s quite a big step!”. She then told me she had gone to work part-time in a local garden centre. When I asked her how that was going, she said, “to begin with it was great; I was just pushing trolleys of plants around and I couldn’t have been any happier”. I said, “Oh, that’s great. Is that what you wanted to tell me?” She said, “Oh no, what I wanted to tell you is that last week my boss discovered that I was an accountant because I hadn’t told him at the interview because he may have thought I was over-qualified. However, when he found out he told me he had been thinking of retiring and because of my obvious passion and dedication - and now the fact he knew I was a qualified accountant - he offered me co-directorship to see if I would like to run the centre on his eventual retirement.” Sometimes when you take your life into your own hands, the universe also takes your hands.

The Will Sheet A further utilisation of a value hierarchy is to produce a “Will Sheet”, which works well in combination with the Positive Outcome Frame. This is a set of affirmations, written in order from the Value Elicitation, to produce an updated and specific version of the Coué self-affirmations. I recommend that the client read from their personal Will Sheet once a day, or twice, to include an end-of-day review against the intentions set by the statements. I sometimes suggest that “why wait until after you are dead for your will to be executed?”. In the example below, we have also written a few suggestions from the positive outcome frame and woven in several values from a real value elicitation, including slight breaks to mark thresholds in the value hierarchy. The Will Sheet starts with a client’s highest values and works downwards. I WILL TO … FEEL REALLY, REALLY HAPPY THIS IS ACHIEVABLE I WILL KNOW I HAVE ACHIEVED THIS WHEN I FEEL SAFE I FEEL CALM I FEEL PROTECTED ~~~

I AM TRUSTING OF OTHERS THIS OUTCOME IS WITHIN MY CONTROL THE EFFORT IS ACCEPTABLE TO ME I AM ABLE TO PROTECT MY FAMILY I AM AWARE OF MY SON’S HAPPINESS I ENCOURAGE RELATIONSHIPS WITH GOOD PEOPLE ~~~ EVERYTHING WILL BE PLEASURABLE I DO NOT HAVE TO PLEASE OTHERS UNLESS I CHOOSE TO THERE ARE NO DISADVANTAGES TO MAKING THESE CHANGES I WILL LOSE NOTHING I WILL GAIN HAPPINESS & ASSURANCE AS I CARRY OUT MY WILL DAY BY DAY I AM READY.

Sleight of Mouth Patterns When working with a specific belief, within the value field of a client, we can employ the sleight of mouth patterns. These are also good for bar-work, in all cases, when delivered with cherry-blossom elegance. These patterns were modelled by Robert Dilts based on the language patterns of Richard Bandler in argument frames. They allow a flexibility of response in debate about beliefs, and a useful way of observing the beliefs of another.[100] We first look at a simple model of belief, where we have two forms, which we will recognise from our original Erickson and MetaModel patterns: Complex Equivalence: X=Y, or X is equivalent to Y.

Cause-Effect: X causes Y, X results in Y. That is to say: “You haven’t phoned your mother yet – you really don’t like her”. i.e., not phoning mother equals not liking her. or “You finding this funny isn’t helping”. i.e., laughing results in not helping. To unpick these beliefs, which are rarely congruent to all aspects of reality, Dilts identified at least fourteen common patterns:

Intent

Consequence

Another Outcome

Counter Example

Apply to Self

Reality Strategy

Model of the World

Meta frame

Change Frame Size

Hierarchy of Criteria

Chunk Down

Chunk Up

Metaphor/Analogy

Redefine We will briefly review how we might use these patterns, in response to the belief “You finding this funny isn’t helping”. Some people may be more natural at some than others. I would highly recommend Sleight of Mouth (Dilts, 1996) for those wishing to further explore these patterns. We might better use these responses where something important is on the line, and another person’s belief is likely unfounded, or being taken at word. Similarly, these patterns give us further routes to unpick a belief which is acting as a curse on a client. In each pattern, I will give a possible reply, based on that pattern, and summarise the nature of the pattern. Again, we would always be congruent to our role and the precise situation before deploying these replies and exploring where they might lead the further communication. Intent “I’m happy that you’re paying attention to me and know that I can help”. This focuses on the intention behind the statement. This can be done by highlighting their positive intent behind the belief, or by challenging the negative intent. It is important to reflect to the person

that you recognise their intention in offering the statement, using their language. Consequences “If I can’t express myself, I’m not going to be able to help”. Find a consequence (even an unintended consequence) which results in the belief being challenged. The fact that the belief has been expressed as: Laughing = Not Helping (a complex equivalence) is challenged by stating a consequence, which is that stopping the action of laughing will result in a stopping of expression, which is necessary to help. Finding a consequence can be difficult to do “on the fly” but generic consequences such as “If X, then we’ll lack flexibility” can be utilised. Another Outcome “How are we going to be friends if you can’t laugh with me?” Here we note another outcome of the belief being challenged, which cannot - or may not - be challenged in itself; for example, laughing is going to have the outcome of making a friendship, which is a different “argument” than that contained in the original belief. By stating another outcome, we can also ‘out’ other beliefs that the person may be holding - this particular pattern is useful for really getting to the bottom of a situation! Counterexample “I laughed all the way through solving yesterday’s problems, didn’t I?” To provide a counter-example helps break the Milton model/Meta-Model violation of generalisation. In making one counter-example we question the basis of the belief. We also turn it

into an ‘analogue’ rather than ‘digital’ statement; rather than X = Y (always, Yes/No) it becomes X = Y (sometimes, Maybe) which softens the argument. This sleight of mouth pattern is a good opener for an extended debate, as it makes the basis of the belief flexible rather than fixed. It is also a useful opener when discussing a case with a client who is “a gambler” or “a violent person”, in that we can sleight it to “not always gambling” and “not always violent” with which we can then better work. Apply to Self “And you taking this seriously isn’t helping, either”. In turning the comment back to the self of the other, we reverse the argument and return the belief back to the other person’s framework. In this example, we see that the other has a belief about the relationship of laughter/humour to helping resolve a problem. In their case, it is a NOT equivalence – they believe laughing is not helping. In suggesting that their belief applies to themselves and reversing it from a NOT belief by implication (no humour = not helping) entirely re-frames the belief and the position. Reality Strategy “Well, I guess laughing is one thing, helping is another. Perhaps to one person laughing is not what it seems?” Gently question that the belief is based on perceptions and is hence can never be seen as a statement of absolute reality. Model of the World “And is it that this is an example of you wondering how much I am actually helping, or something else, maybe?”

A return to their belief by arguing that the statement is a metaphor. It questions the statement by implying it is a model of some other concern. This is an important step in developing the argument towards a deeper structure. Meta Frame “And is there only one way of helping that works?” By making a meta-frame, there is an implied challenge to the structure underneath the belief, rather than responding to the stated belief itself. Change Frame Size “Well, I might laugh all the time, even after we’ve done the job!” The frame size of the stated belief can be extended to a larger (or a smaller) scale; or to a larger (or shorter) time frame. Taking the belief to an extreme sometimes can be applied to “blow out” the belief; although this has to be done appropriately to avoid the response of “now you’re just being stupid!” or some-such. There are certain stated beliefs that can be “blown up” to reveal the underlying fallacy at the heart of the belief. Hierarchy of Criteria “It’s funny that you’ve got time as well to be concerned about a little laughter”. One can often challenge a stated belief by pointing to more important criteria, as in suggesting something else of higher value that the other person might wish to consider. In the case of a client, if we have elicited their value hierarchy, we can question their beliefs with them by raising their own higher hierarchical values. Chunk Down

“This particular way of laughing? Can I help and laugh a different way?” Look at a specific element and challenge the belief as bound to that smaller chunk – does it still hold true? Chunk Up “Oh, laughing? Should we stop all emotions – would that help?” One can generalise (chunk up) to challenge a belief – any form of chunking moves the stated belief to another level where it may be better challenged, and often reveals another belief in operation by the other person. If done with understanding, it can provide a new space in which the other person can find and explain their deeper structure. Metaphor/Analogy “Perhaps we shouldn’t all be pressure-cookers, either?” The use of an example by expression of a metaphor, analogy, or simile, can often challenge the belief without the risk of opening up further discussion or argument. Redefine “Laughing helps all sorts of things, you know?” A more subtle and difficult sleight-of-mouth is the usage of similar words to change the implication of the stated belief. In every case of these patterns, it is worth listening to how other people discuss, argue, make their cases, state their beliefs, and then mentally practice how many patterns you could have employed in their case. Then, you might concentrate on two or three of the patterns for a while and see if you can hear them being used in debates on television or in person. At some point, you can practice

with a friend, and then find yourself using them more naturally when cases arise. As most people have relatively fixed patterns in stating their case and argument strategies, discovering a reply afterwards is likely to still stand in good stead for the next circumstance. You may find some argumentative people in your life suddenly acting weirdly or not the same with you, because they can no longer get the response they are programming for you.

The Belief Change Cycle Belief can be considered a “complex equivalency”; an awareness of the relationship between several things. It can a comprehension of the relationship between a cause and an effect, such as “the war was caused by the assassination” or an observation and an interpretation; “You are angry because you are shouting”. Change is often a re-framing of belief (see the ‘touchstone triangle’ on values/beliefs/actions) from an existing belief to a new belief. A person might say, “I used to believe that I would always be shy”, for example. Change happens most effectively when the new belief is; Compelling (particularly in terms of away from/towards meta-program)

Possible, in terms of the positive outcome frame

Appropriate (environment check) These however are not the only requirements; it is no use having unrealistic beliefs - the person must also have the requisite abilities and resources (positive outcome frame) to achieve the change. Further, the person must believe that they deserve the new belief, otherwise they will not be able to take it on. The cycle of changing a belief operates through 6 different phases, not necessarily in a linear order:

1.

WANT TO BELIEVE.

2.

OPEN TO BELIEVE (mentor, role model, metaphor).

3.

CURRENTLY BELIEVE level + (nature of conflict).

4.

OPEN TO DOUBT.

5.

USED TO BELIEVE.

6.

TRUST.[101]

One useful exercise is to write these out on pieces of paper and lay them in a circle around a room. However, place “6. Trust” in the centre of the circle. Step into each space marked out by a phase, and first elicit a strong feeling of that state, so in state one, think about something you definitely want to believe but do not currently do so. In the space in the room where you get to “used to believe”, evoke the state by thinking of something you used to really believe as a child but no longer do so, etc. For each of these phases, notice your body posture, particularly your arms and hands; lock these into the states, so that you have a “Open to Doubt” posture which is very different to your “Trust” posture and so on.

Repeat this a few times until you have anchored those postures to those states. Never stand in a space unless you are feeling that state. If you would like practice for this cycle, consider practising the Circle of Excellence technique. Now, take a belief you want to move around the circle and step into the first space with that belief and hold the relevant posture of the space. So, to open out a belief, start in space one, and work your way around the circle, changing posture and experiencing how that changes the belief. Whenever you need to reset, simply stand in the centre of the circle and return to your trust position.

TIME/SPACE WORK

Time/Space Work We have seen that time/space work is a fundamental part of the therapeutic triangle. Time/Space, or Timeline(s), work allows us to utilise our internal and external representation of time for change-work. I originally learnt this as “timeline” work, but in practice clients have shown me that they have far more elegant and powerful ways of organising time other than it being on a single line. So, we will refer to it as time/space work or simply time-work. Time is not a thing that can be easily defined inside our own mind and yet is a fundamental part of our everyday experience. We never question our ability to think back and remember that a long time ago we once looked forward to something that itself has now passed into our more recent memory. And that we can now remember to remind ourselves of thinking how interesting that is, now that we think of it, to remember this moment in a moment. So, to have some representation of time, we think of time in terms not of an abstract, but in terms of our other fundamental dimension; our sense of space.

Our language demonstrates that we have a clearly spatial sense of time when we say, “Let’s just leave that back in the past,” or “I’m looking forward to next week”. We might also hear someone casually say, “let’s leave that to one side for the moment”. It is not just verbal predicates that illustrate this spatial representation of time. When someone talks about doing something “sooner or later”, whilst they rock their hand, tilting it repeatedly left and right, they are indicating how they might represent time in that moment and for that subject or state.

As time can be usually considered to be represented in a spatial sense, this representation thus has visual modalities. We can “look ahead to a brighter future” or suggest “it is clearly not the right time yet”. Through experience, I find that the most important spatial/visual modalities for change-work are usually: Distance

Movement

Location

Size When someone (who we have established places their future ahead of them) says “She’s always getting right in my face”, in an

annoyed tone, whilst gesturing with their own hand in front of their face, they are indicating their present state whilst talking about a past experience but placed in their future locality. This illustrates a tight bind in holding that expectation of future behaviour to change the present state. We are likely to also hear a time-binding language pattern such as a generalisation with a universal quantifier; “They’ll always be like that”. If we simply move their hand further away from their face and ask, “and how does it feel now, seeing that memory of their future behaviour further away from you now?” the person might have a very profound re-orientation. Once that has been established, we might further ask them to slowly drop their hand down, as they relax, and in so doing, introduce a new pattern into their unconscious representation.

In-Time and Through-Time The standard model of time-representation is usually divided into two simple categories; in-time or through-time. Those with time represented as a line behind them (the past) and in front of them (the future) are said to be “in time”. Those who have their line to either side, usually with the future to the right and past to the left, are “through time”. In NLP Magick, we tend to work with a flexible Time/Space concept which allows for any representation of time to be made evident by the communicator, which is as useful as it appears, whilst it appears. When observing a client, we might see them “carrying” their family memories up and to their right, in a general sweeping space where the further time is away, with older memories, the wider the sweeping gesture. However, when they talk about their career and workplace, they may lay that on the table, gesturing always to the left and right as they describe their jobs across time, and their career plans for the future. It is likely to be the case that they either have a clear boundary between their home and work life, or they are a client because their boundary has been overwhelmed in some way. This particularly organised person might gesture generally in front of them and down whilst talking about the past, if a memory is neither work nor family related, and beyond that, have a small line for their own pleasant memories, holding the best of these closer to themselves, or even future plans being held in the same place, by order of preference. Such a representation will mirror the clients concerns; they may feel as if they give too much, have sacrificed too much, and now be unclear what they have for themselves in the future. All of this will be time-based and predicated by their non-verbal communication.

Time/Space Work The general use of time representations can follow a standard pattern: 1.

2.

3.

4.

ElicitationMeta-Model Language, etc.

Questions,

Observation,

ModellingChoosing the most representative map.

Re-FramingChange-Work, i.e., Changing modalities to change state.

TestingFuture-Pacing, Ecology Check, etc.

In general, we elicit how someone does something in a way in which we can describe it adequately, using NLP terminology. We then change that process, so the person has increased flexibility in the way in which they do something. Finally, we attempt to ensure that they will make that choice in the future. With Time/Space work, we particularly concentrate on: Changing Personal History.

Accessing Resources.

Future-Pacing. We can conclude now with two more advanced patterns that can be utilised to review experiences or collect positive experiences from the past where the client might otherwise have difficulty in finding positive elements or drawing upon their experience. Spinning the Chair. Depression/Reframing Using Environment. During a hypnotherapy workshop I found myself with a volunteer who was suffering intense depression. They had revealed that whilst they were willing to present their situation to the group, they would not wish to reveal any specific details. They told me that they could not see a future and when asked questions to elicit their time-space perspective it appeared that their entire past was in front of them. Not only that, but their worse experiences were also arranged closer to their face and then stacked in a line of decreasing intensity away ahead of them. Whilst exploring this, they had naturally and gradually entered a trance-like state. With their eyes open, they said that all they could see was the darkness ahead of them. Taking advantage of their subconscious ability to arrange and understand a stacking of intensity and the fact they were sat on a swivel chair, I asked them, “what would happen if -” and at this, I kicked the chair wheels and spun the chair 180 degrees “ - your past was behind you?” I left my hand on their back to anchor their past representations. Their eyes dilated and they gasped and said, “Everything has gone bright”. I then said, “not only that brightness but more -”, and at this I kicked the chair forwards an inch and swept my hand down behind their back making a cutting sound. Their posture greatly altered as their subconscious took the suggested metaphor and released them from their past. We discussed that this was not total solution to their state but at least they now had a space in their future in which to construct a new outlook on their life. If someone is able to maintain an intense state, their representation (model) will usually be very unique and effective.

Nostalgia Pattern This pattern is a good way to review learning on a course and to generate a meta-view of a series of experiences that have been selected based on their importance. We might choose the four times we realised we were in charge of our lives, or the three moments we really loved the work we were doing, etc. The pattern utilised by Bandler, as a process mapped from the experience known as “nostalgia”, is as follows: 1. Think of the course [or book, etc.] and notice the first thing that comes to mind where you had a “Aha!” or “Ummm … Fascinating!” feeling. Associate fully so you recall what you saw and heard when you felt that feeling. 2. Disassociate so you can create a picture of that moment. Freeze-frame it. 3. Think of the course again and find another such learning moment. Associate fully again so you recall what you saw and heard when you felt that feeling. 4. Disassociate again so you can create a picture of that moment. Freeze-frame it and place it to the right of the first frame. 5. Repeat steps 1 & 2 a third time and place the framed picture to the right of the other two, so that you have three pictures like frames in a movie. 6. Start to imagine that the pictures are now frames in a movie, running slowly at first, then faster and faster. Notice any emerging feeling from the movie – what is it that was underneath these three experiences, what is common, what is the overall lesson or communication you were receiving?

7. Allow yourself to wonder how you will act upon that metalearning. This pattern (much like Zink’s spinning icons and similar methods) often generates a semi-conscious “emergent pattern” which is only later realised, through a dream, a sudden positive behaviour which can be linked back to the learning, or a later “Ohhhh! I get it!” moment.[102]

Willed Reminiscence Pattern Combined with Time/Space work, the Nostalgia pattern can be varied/developed into a useful mechanism for sorting, selecting, and anchoring positive resource states where the client has difficulty in consciously selecting such states. 1. Ask the client to identify their stuck state, where they do not feel as if they can get themselves out from. Elicit a positive outcome frame for what they do want to happen. 2. Suggest that their history and unconscious is far more creative and capable than they imagine and that we will utilise this for growth. Point out to them that out of millions of historic genetic patterns, their unique pattern has flourished for tens of thousands of years! Not only that, but they are as unique as their fingerprints, as their eye-patterns; the Universe has never created one of who they are before, and never will again. 3. Generate their time/space and ask them to float – s l o w l y – into the past whilst looking down on their “line” and noticing anything between 3-5 “flashes” as they move down to their point of birth, and to mark those points with a marker, sign, beacon, flag or similar. 3. From their birth moment, float them back – s l o w l y – along the line to the first marker on the way back. Ask them to float onto their “line” and describe the age where they find themselves and the experience they are associated into. Notice and state that this is a learning experience (whether perceived as negative or positive by the client at the time and even in retrospect) and when you have amplified and anchored it (if “positive”) or re-framed it as a learning experience which they survived (if “negative”) have them freeze-frame it on their “line” as Experience 1.

4. Float them along to the next marker and repeat step 3 and freeze-frame the event as “Experience 2”. 5. Float them along to the third marker, repeat and freeze-frame as “Experience 3”. 6. Float them and repeat for any further markers – to a total of five maximum. 7. Ask them to come to the present point, and then float high above their “line” so that they can see the whole line from the start to now. Ask them to pull up the 3-5 freeze-frames and place them in front of them. Check that they can see the picture in each frame, as Experience 1, 2, 3, etc. 8. Run the Nostalgia Pattern across the experiences. 9. Ask the client what feeling is generated, and what learning they can take from these experiences to apply to their present state. 10. If you wish, you can then apply that learning by future-pacing to new experiences in which the client may wish to have access to that learning to apply it. Have them see themselves doing that, rehearsing it and changing the colour of their future “line” on the way back! Guilt and Shame. Guilt/Time-Space. Sometimes other people are the problem. During lunch at a group coaching session, I overheard a woman mention that she felt guilt about something trivial in her past. [Guilt and shame are related; guilt is when we represent our actions against our own ideal and shame is when we represent the action against an imagined other people’s ideals]. As we had been discussing ways of working with others in the group, I asked across the table for her to quickly close her eyes and go back in time (we had been doing time-space work that morning) and place herself a moment before the event. I asked her whether

she could feel the guilt when the event had not yet happened. I then asked her, “Where is the guilt?” She said it was not yet present. “of course”. I then asked her to open her eyes and stay in the state without the guilt. She opened her eyes in surprise having expected me to perform some long drawn-out method and laughed. Another person, a friend of hers, looked across at me somewhat aggressively and said, “You can’t do that. You just can’t let go of guilt and shame like that.” I replied, “Well it appears that you can and perhaps sometimes we have nothing left to learn other than how to forget the event.” I turned to the woman and said, “Do you feel that you had anything more to learn?” She replied, “No. It has been a long time since I did that over to death in my head”. I said, nodding, “then you’re done with it.”

META PATTERNS [SELF IMAGE]

Meta-Patterns [Self Image Work] Before we look at the process of modelling in NLP, we can consider several of what are called the meta-patterns. These are basic patterns, strategies or tendencies that influence our behavior, seen through the linguistic lens of NLP. In recognizing these patterns in ourselves and others, we can better modify our communication, and better appreciate the communication of others. We can use these patterns in modelling and work with them in our language patterns when conducting hypnotherapy. Apply to Self/Apply to Other When presented with a situation, we empathize with it, or identify ourselves within the situation to understand it. However, there are two ways of applying a situation, to ourselves or as to another - and we tend to one or the other. As an example, if we were watching a scene in real life, say someone in a shopping queue ahead of us dropping all their loose change everywhere, we might immediately think “Oh, I’d be embarrassed if that happened to me”, or “I bet everyone thinks that’s embarrassing”, or “I bet he’s clumsy”. In the first reaction given, that is applied to self, and the other two are applied to others. The way we argue, communicate, empathize with others is often so radically different and opposite, the real miracle is that most of the time, we sort of understand each other at all - until we do not. Couples, siblings, work colleagues and parents may often find themselves at cross-purposes for no other reason than they are not appreciating the meta-model of their respective counterpart.

An “apply to others” sort of girl or guy may find themselves attracted to an “apply to self” sort of guy or girl, and vice-versa, but this can also be the cause of much confusion and even argument. As practitioners of NLP, we should work towards “requisite variety” and develop flexibility in our responses. If we know our partner in some circumstance is an “apply to others” sort of person, then we might motivate them not by saying “You’ll feel better when it’s done”, but rather, “everyone is looking forward to you doing it”. The challenge is that we usually default to our own meta-model or meta-pattern. Towards/Away From Think about an untidy room and when you finally decide to tidy it. Do you think to yourself, just before the point of action, what it will look like when it is tidy, or do you finally get annoyed by how untidy it is? In the first type of reaction, you are adopting a “towards” (tidiness) strategy, and in the second, an “away from” (messiness) strategy. It is likely this strategy will inform most of your circumstances, even if it is not the ideal. In a similar manner, the way we choose a pair of shoes - in terms of strategies and values - is likely the same, in terms of methodology - as the way we choose a life partner or a Christmas present. Having a choice in our meta-pattern is a significant realization of the NLP practitioner, and one that will lead to much personal insight and development. A far more powerful use of this meta-pattern is to create what has been called a “propulsion system”, utilizing both an away and a towards pattern. This reminds us of our early story in this present book about Erickson and the horse on his family farm. We can far better motivate ourselves - and others - with both strategies at the same time or utilizing the same default strategy to frame both positive and negative outcomes.

Consider exercise; firstly, identify your (or your client’s) default pattern. Make that conscious to the other person, if a client, for example, a “towards” strategy, and then we could start to make suggestions as follows: And I know you feel so good after exercise, and that is such a good feeling, but how is it to feel when you haven’t exercised? To miss out on that good feeling, of feeling so good that you have exercised. And to wait [weight] for exercise, that heavy feeling that you just can’t get up to do something, feeling bad that you are not yet feeling so good when you not waited but just finished now, feeling good from sitting down afterwards, not before … In which we have moved the “towards” strategy to what it will feel like to feel bad, as well as good, and then coupled that with the introduction of an “away” strategy that will also avoid the negative feeling. The client, like Erickson’s horse, will pull against themselves to avoid a negative feeling, even if that is straight back into the barn. Negative/Positive Frames One recognizable pattern is in those who tend towards negative thought (worst case) and those who tend towards the positive end of the spectrum (optimists). Whilst those with a negative pattern can depress themselves (and others) quite cheerfully, they are also particularly good in risk planning and avoidance. Similarly, those on the positive pole tend to be more cheerful, but also more accepting of negative consequences, even if to their detriment - particularly when coupled with a meta-pattern of “apply to others” instead of “apply to self”. When we recognize our own tendency, we can begin to balance it by practicing the opposite scale. Similarly, we can appreciate and learn from others who have a very different pattern to our own. Big Chunk/Small Chunk

We might recognize this pattern in its more common description of “detailed thinker” and “big picture” thinker. Again, we will tend to one pattern or another. It is interesting that given a free seating plan in a presentation, oftentimes, “big picture people” will tend to sit towards the back, so as to take in everything and everyone, and as they do not need to see the detail or will get distracted by more information. The “detailed” people will be those tending to sit at the front, so they will not be distracted by too much information, and they will also tend to have notebooks and note systems to hand. Just because one type of system is not your default does not mean that those utilizing that system are paying any more attention or less to your presentation - they are just doing it in a different way. One presentation tip whilst on this subject; when you introduce yourself and your presentation, widen your arm gestures and speak to the back of the audience whilst saying, “welcome, today, over the next three hours, we’ve going to cover the whole subject of NLP and what you can do with it”, then immediately look to the front of the audience and shorten your hand gestures whilst saying, “and to do that, we’ll be introducing five main ideas, and having our first break in an hour”. That way, you address all forms of chunking and gain better rapport with the whole audience. There are other meta-patterns in NLP, but these four will provide a matrix of combinations sufficient for the practitioner to observe and with which to practice their own variations. We can also consider how these meta-patterns work within the models that we use for everyday circumstances. Do they always map across, or do we also tend to use different strategies under different circumstances? EXERCISES

If you have a client or friend who is a positive/small chunk kind of person, and you generally tend to negative/big chunk, what about their communication annoys you most, and how can you better translate that? What can you change in your communication if you better appreciate their model? If you have a team and can identify their meta-patterns, how might this affect who you put in charge of summarizing things to the others? Who will be best suited to present to management? Are they the same person as may better inform the team as to how management might be thinking about the project? If we had a client who was very “small chunk” in everything other than their work, say for example, how they thought about their family, knowing every little detail about everyone, how would we map that to apply to their employment challenges? Sometimes, What You Gotta Do. Dream/NLP. Sometime between several long sessions of NLP training, I had a dream in which I was stood by the side of a long-deserted road in a forest with the hood of my car up, looking at the engine. Something was wrong but I couldn’t see anything in particular, despite checking the plugs, battery, fanbelt and so on. I turned to see Richard Bandler stood next to me with his hands behind his back, staring intently at the car. I was about to ask for assistance, when - in the manner of a cartoon character - Bandler drew out from behind his back a crowbar that was twice his size, jammed it underneath the engine and levered the whole thing up into the air and out onto the road. “Sometimes,” he drawled, “you gotta rip the whole f@+)*&ing engine out”.

GENERAL TECHNIQUES

Formal n-Step Reframing Reframing is one of the classic methods developed in the original models of NLP. It derives from parts therapy and is notable for it being “content free”, in that the client does not necessarily have to divulge the issue being addressed through the process. In the same way that in the UK, the required “three-point turn” in the driving test is now the “controlled manoeuvre”, the classic model of “6-step reframing” is now referred to as “n-step” where n can be any number of repeated steps. This process is useful when working with someone who is having an issue involving different parts of themselves or feels “not themselves” when they behave in a particular manner. 1. Identify the behaviour or response to be changed. This is usually, 'I want to do something, but something stops me.', or 'I don't want to do something, but I seem to end up doing it just the same.' When working with another, it isn't necessary to know what the behavior actually is, they can keep it secret, if they like. Acknowledge the good that the behavior, or at the least the intention behind the behavior has done for you in the past. Make clear you aren't going to get rid of it. 2. Establish communication with the part which is responsible for the behaviour. Ask for an “honest and unconscious signal”. Go inside and ask the part if it is willing to communicate with you in consciousness? Notice the feelings inside of you. This is an unconscious response, so ask yourself: Can you reproduce that signal consciously?

If you can, this it isn't it. Establish a communication system. Ask the part to increase the signal for 'Yes' and decrease it for 'No'. Get it to do this several times so you get a 'Yes' and a 'No' signal that are quite clear. 3. Separate the positive intention from the behaviour. Thank the part for co-operating. Ask, 'Will the part which is responsible for the behavior let me know what it is trying to do?' You will get a clear intention which may be a surprise to your conscious mind. Think whether you want the part to do that. If you get a 'No' signal, you can just assume a positive intention and continue. Or you could ask under what circumstances it would let you know. Ask the part, 'If you were given ways to accomplish this intention, at least as well, if not better than the present, would you be willing to try them out?' If you get a 'No', your signals are scrambled - no part would turn down an offer like this. 4. Ask your creative part to generate new ways that will accomplish the same purpose. Ask your creative part to generate as many solutions as it can you do not need to know what these are consciously. Ask the part being negotiated with to select at least three of these for it to try. Ask it to give you a signal each time it has selected one. Take as long as you need on this part of the process. Thank your creative part when you have finished. 5. Ask the part if it will agree to use the new choices over the next few weeks, rather than the old behaviour. This is future rehearsing the new behavior. There is no reason why the part should not agree to do this. If you get a 'No', then tell it it can still use the old behavior - only use the new behavior first. If

you still get a 'No', then reframe the objecting part (By going back to step 1). 6. Ecological Check. Go inside and ask, 'Does any part of me object to the new choices?' If there are objections, check them out by asking the part to intensify the signal. If there are objections, then you can reframe the part or ask it to get together with the creative part to find more solutions. Ensure that there are no objecting parts, otherwise they may try to sabotage the change. Diplomat Part. Difficulty with Reframing/Reframing. During a workshop on reframing a student held up their hand for assistance. Their practice client, another student, was in a real trance but the redundant behaving part was refusing to communicate intent to the creative part. They had tried various strategies, but it was clear that the part would not play ball. I asked the student what she thought the problem was. She replied, “The part isn’t communicating.” I asked her again in what context specifically to which she replied, “To the creative part.” I raised my eyebrows and said, “So?” She thought for a moment and then turned to the other (client) student, who was still in trance, and asked, “Do you sometimes have to sort out arguments at work?” The client-student nodded her head and murmured, “I am always doing that; I have to be a very good diplomat.” The student then suggested to the client-student that this “good diplomat” part approach the creative behaviour part and communicate with it in such a way that it could transmit the intent to the creative part without anybody knowing about it. The studentclient gave a conscious signal that this could occur and within minutes the rest of the reframing was complete.

So not only was this content-free as far as we were concerned, but it also remained content-free to the student-client herself. When she opened her eyes following the trance outduction, her pupils dilated, and she began to move her head in an awkward manner as if trying to shake something inside her head. She looked at us and said, “That’s weird: it’s like there are big blocks shifting around the back of my head.” At a following workshop she reported an elegant and dramatic shift of behaviour yet remained unaware of its cause or solution. Summary 1. 2. 3.

4.

5. 6.

Identify a problem. Identify the part and get different signals for 'Yes' and 'No'. Get the part's positive intention, and ask it 'If you were given ways of achieving this intention just as well or even better than now, would you be willing to try them out for a week or so?' Ask your creative part to generate many possible solutions (it does not have to find only good ones!) while the part in question gives a 'Yes' signal when there is a solution it thinks it might use. Get at least three. Ask the part if it will try these in the next few weeks. Check that there are no objecting parts.

The Man Who Grunted. Involuntary vocalizing behaviour/Re-Framing. A client came complaining of excessive and unwanted grunting. This was affecting his life and work and occurred particularly under stress. He had a successful career as a senior technician and engaged in many physical sports. During his introduction to me, he said he had seen a therapist who had concluded after several months of sessions that, in the client’s re-telling, “there was a part of myself wishing to be heard”. When the client stated this, his tonality shifted to mimic the therapist’s voice, quite markedly. As this concept of “parts” had already been established and accepted by the client,

and as he showed an ability to shift identity (ironically but unsurprisingly demonstrated through a shift in vocalisation) I felt we might effectively use reframing (parts therapy) to access this “part” of him. We also established there was no known physical causality; he had undergone extensive doctor and specialist (ENT) consultation and checks prior to the previous psychotherapy. Clinicians had followed diagnostic routes to rule out Tourette syndrome and neurodevelopmental or neurodegenerative disorders. In finding no definitive diagnosis, the client had been initially referred to psychotherapy (CBT).[103] Under a light trance I followed the standard protocol for reframing and asked for the “part” performing the grunting to give an “honest unconscious signal”. At that point something remarkable happened; the client’s whole head (he was bald) flushed red from the neck upwards. I then went on to access the “creative part” and his face returned to a normal pallor. On asking for a similar signal from the creative part I was again surprised to see a drop of perspiration emerge from what seemed like every pore on the client’s face. These signals continued to be used by his unconscious throughout the session - as mechanical as clockwork, switching on and off in response to relevant prompts. There were no external factors, such as room temperature changes, etc. and when one signal went on, the other went off – it was unlike any blush or perspiration I had previously seen. At the conclusion of the session, we had established a new communication change for the “part” responsible for the unwanted behaviour, however it remained content-free and hidden from the conscious. The client reported that during the session he had felt perfectly relaxed and was unaware of the significant changes in his state – which I did not mention. As Erickson suggested, the communication between the unconscious and the hypnotherapist can be treated as ‘privileged information’, on the basis that if the information was necessary or useful to be shared with the conscious mind of the client, it would have already been so.

The client, several weeks later, reported that the grunting had entirely ceased. It seemed apparent in review that a person whose unconscious communicated by grunting would evidence similarly dramatic kinaesthetic signals during a hypnotic state. The nature of the communication of the problem will often be the manner through which the solution is communicated. A state of resentment or repression which causes anger is likely to have its resolution presented during an angry outburst, for example – thus inviting the therapist to craft such states in a supportive (or challenging) environment and be aware enough not to miss them because of responding to the nature of the state rather than its content – both are equally part of expression and valid.

Swish Pattern The Swish pattern is another standard method of NLP that codifies several components together, such as modelling compulsions, in order to provide a general method for undoing compulsive behaviour. It is more effective the better skill of the practitioner to elicit and amplify positive representations, so I would recommend practising amplification prior to or during this method. 1.

Elicit a compulsion or negative behaviour pattern that the client wishes to change. Get them to create a large bright coloured image of the behaviour and set it aside for a moment.

2.

Move the client into a positive state where they are seeing/hearing/feeling themselves in control of a situation. Use sub-modalities to increase the intensity of the experience (make it brighter, bigger, louder, closer, thicker …)

3.

Get the client to return to their large bright coloured image of the behaviour they wish to change. In the lower left-hand corner, make a small dark version of their positive state, loading it with assumptions about it being charged, ready to burst, itching to expand, etc … Have the bright picture suddenly get dark, and the small dark picture of the positive state burst into view and replace the negative image, getting as big and brighter as it does so.

4.

Do this process a number of times, perhaps adding a sound cue, such as “SWISH!” or “WOOOO!” as may seem applicable.

This pattern helps replace an “automatic” response to an event with an “automatic” positive behaviour. Amongst other things, it also encourages the idea that the client has choice even with behaviour they feel happen too quickly to change. Use language patterns and sub-modalities to increase the intensity of the positive image, also perhaps using Milton Model language to move the negative image into the past or otherwise weaken it. The “Swish” sound becomes an anchor, but you can also use kinaesthetic anchors such as clenching and releasing fists, or raising your head to face the situation, watching it turn quickly and automatically into the positive behaviour. You can also use time/space work to check that the behaviour is moved into future situations.

Circle of Excellence The Circle of Excellence is a good technique to practice for beginners and one which can be practised by oneself. It is good practice for observation (when used with a client), anchoring, triggering, state elicitation and amplification. I have here provided the methodology and sequence I use, as there are slightly different versions of this method. I sometimes refer to this method as the “rug of excellence” due to having a small circular rug in an office which regularly became the stand-in for the otherwise imaginary circle. This method can be used for assisting clients to access a positive resource state when they need it, such as in an interview, ahead of a race, driving test or presentation. METHOD 1. Elicit the situation in which the client wishes to access the positive state. This may bring about a negative state as the client describes it, for example, thinking about getting into a car for a driving test. 2. Find the moment immediately prior to the negative feeling. Although the negative feeling might be said to start, for example, on awakening the day of the test, we want the most prior safe position, such as walking to the car, rather than opening the car door for the test. This we can call the pre-scene. 3. Break state and introduce the idea of the Circle of Excellence. Ask the client what resource state, such as confidence, mastery, concentration, etc. they would want to have in that situation. 4. Ask the client to stand up and imagine a circle on the floor in front of themselves. It could also be a physically marked space such

as a small rug. 5. Elicit the positive state and amplify it. Ask the client for a spoken cue such as “I got this” or a hand gesture such as quickly clenching and unclenching their hand one time. 6. At the peak of the state, ask the client to make their anchor cue or gesture and step into the circle. Ask them to briefly enjoy that feeling and step out. 7. Repeat this several times, building up the state and always getting the client to make the cue or gesture before stepping forward into the circle. At some point, they should almost be one step ahead of you by making the cue and stepping forwards as soon as you start to ask again. 8. Now ask the client to imagine that they can place the prescene in the circle. 10. Ask them to detail the pre-scene as they look into the circle, and then ask them to trigger their cue or gesture and step forwards. 11. Ask them how that has changed the scene as they are seeing and feeling it now. You can then ask them, the moment their positive state begins to diminish, to step back out of the circle. I tend to make a point of humorous rule that only the peak state can be in the circle. 12. You can now amplify the clients state again using their own language: … and this time, you might notice that things appear twice as sharp and clear, as you feel that feeling twice as strongly in your chest when you step forwards now You can also ensure that all representation systems are called into response, such as asking what colour is that feeling, what music can you hear when you feel like that, etc. These can then be amplified during each repeated step into the circle of excellence. If

you add positive feedback, that the client is conducting the technique very well, this will reinforce the desired state. Continue to have the client repeat the exercise until it is an automatic response, firing the trigger and stepping into the desired state. The circle area remains an unspoken metaphor for the prescene. This method can act as a more conscious preparation for a situation, whether allied by other work or not. If desired, you can add future-pacing into the method, load it with other suggestions, etc.

Zink’s Spinning Icons This method was originally designed by Nelson Zink and Joe Munshaw.[104] In practice, I have found it useful to generate creative solutions to otherwise intractable situations, particularly with clients who tend towards creative work. It can also provide information for the therapist from the unconscious of the client which can then be incorporated in further work. Zink and Munshaw appear to have developed this technique to apply meta-states to the regular method of Collapsing Anchors, which the student will see embedded in the method. They then add a story-telling creative twist which bypasses the conscious filter without any necessary induction of a hypnotic state. In this, it is also useful as a “non-hypnotic” method for clients who may have resistance to the idea of hypnosis. The method works once you have ascertained with a client that they have a stuck state that appears to have no solution. Using any other method or simply by discussion, elicit the desired outcome state or situation. METHOD 1. Ask the client to visualise a simple icon or symbol for their stuck state. This can be as creative as they wish, and helps the conscious mind collate all the associations (even the unconscious ones) to that state and collapse them into one concept. This is a simple and natural example of collapsing a state. The icon could be a geometric shape or a lightning flash, a ball of fluff or a fish. It is also better to avoid too much verbal analysis of the resultant symbol.

2. Next, break their state as they may have sunk into some of the associations of that stuck state. Ask them about something inconsequential or random, that requires a little thought, such as “When was the last time you saw a tree on television?” 3. Ask the client to now visualise a similar icon for their desired state. This could be a sun symbol, a smiley face emoji, a feather quill, or similar. You can also encourage (amplify) their creativity by remarking on their creativity in selecting the first icon. This is another state or anchor collapse, as they are then associating a successful creative act about their stuck state. 4. Ask the client to close their eyes so that they can visualise the two icons, one to left of their inner gaze, one to the right; usually, the desired-state icon to the right. 5. Ask them to imagine that these icons mark the outer edges of an oval loop; one that connects them invisibly. This helps set-up the idea that ‘the answer is always found in the problem’, which you may choose to seed as a statement earlier on the session. 6. Pacing your speed of delivery slowly at first, ask the client to slowly begin to watch as the two icons begin to revolve in an orbit within the shape of the loop. They begin to slowly move as if to circle each other, until eventually (slowly) they pass through the position of their opposite icon. 7. Continue to describe how the icons are smoothly moving in rotation, passing in the loop, slowly speeding up, going round and round. 8. As you increase your own pace of delivery, begin to emphasize how fast they are moving and that they are beginning to blur, leaving a coloured trail behind them, catching up to that trail, faster and faster. At this point the client may naturally enter a slight trance state and you will observe rapid eye movement.

9. As your delivery becomes a fast-paced horse-race screed of words, and the icons, blur and trails of colour all coalesce, suggest to the client that as they do, a symbol emerges from the blur; one simple icon, naturally arising, immediately becomes clear. Ask them to tell you what they see when they see it, arising from that single blur of colour. 10. The symbol might be anything - and it may or may not be immediately relatable to either or both original icons. It does not matter in terms of content at this point of the method, we simply use it as a trigger for the final step - and trick - of the technique. 11. As soon as the client states an arising symbol, ask them to open their eyes and tell you a story - “any story, real or made-up”, immediately, “just start talking, now, quick, tell me words, speak”. 12. Allow the client to tell you a story. It could be a ry that has come to their mind, such as Goldilocks and the Three Bears, a story from a film, such as a James Bond film, or a story about one of their children at a fairground. It might be a fragmentary narrative like this: Er. OK. There was a dog. Hmmm. It was brown and had one white patch on its eye. It was like - a pirate? And it went on a ship and had lots of adventures. Then it came home. Once you have established the details and nature of the story, or the client has simply blurted out a narrative such as the one above, you can thank them and conclude. It is best to let the narrative sit and focus your summary remarks on the conscious and unconscious ability to create simple icons for complex situations. You can suggest that the unconscious has already done most of the processing work, even if the client feels merely bemused by the process. If the client has had a significant reaction to the practice or the narrative, this should obviously be incorporated and utilised, or remarked upon at least.

You might ask the client to report back at a follow-up session as to any positive changes they notice in their state, attention, or behaviour in the following week, including dreams or as noticed by others. The Ice Queen. Zink’s Spinning Icons/Metaphor. It is sometimes notable how the conscious attention can be withheld from unconscious content. In one group training session, the student volunteer for this method blurted out a reasonably long story about the “Ice Queen”, and it was apparent from the unvoiced reaction of her colleagues (who also knew her well, socially) that the story was entirely relevant to her situation. The volunteer barely reported any reaction to the “nonsensical story” she had told and seemed more concerned that she felt it was not “good enough” or “right” to demonstrate the technique. This, as might be surmised, was also another demonstrate of an aspect of her situation. In the following group training, a week later, the student was one of the first to come into the room, and her first words were “Hey! I realised this week. The Ice Queen was me, wasn’t she?!” She reported that she had found it useful to see herself in that light and this insight had already led to significant shifts in her behaviour, choices, life and career.

Existential Embodiments In this section I would like to present two methods I have paired from different workshops, both of which bring a literal embodiment to otherwise abstract ideas of self-image and identity; our being and our purpose. Embodiment of Being In the first exercise, as the second, you will need a volunteer to partner you, or you could possibly use a mirror and try it with yourself - which might be quite intense. Simply look at the other person (or yourself) for a while and then gently and honestly enquire, with sincere curiosity and patience: What are you? Allow time for the other person (or yourself) to answer, and then enquire again, using the format: I can see that you are [first answer] … but what else are you? Again, allow time, accept the answer, and again, enquire: I can see that you are [second answer] … but what else are you? Always phrase these questions in honour of the prior answer, with full acceptance and genuine curiosity.

Allow a third answer and repeat the process until a sense of a final answer - or simply, no more answers, is reached. If you are working with a partner, swap places and repeat the exercise. This exercise not only elicits deeper and embodied senses of being, but also installs a new pattern to the effect of “I am this … but what else might I be?” Once we have a solid sense of our being, we can move to our purpose. Embodiment of Purpose In this exercise, we ensure that the unconscious and conscious components of a stated purpose and intent are elicited and then made congruent in conscious attention. This demonstrates in part the nature of the unconscious processes that are such an essential component of our total awareness. It also implies the deep well of resources which remain untapped for the client. It draws upon the Self-Relations work of Stephen Gilligan and provides a physical metaphor for any later work with the NLP Positive Outcome Frame. It is useful for clients experiencing a deep loss of purpose, or in coaching work. The exercise installs rapport and encourages profound communication, in addition to allowing the client to share the deepest levels of their model. It is in two parts, the first dealing with purpose and the second dealing with intent or Will. In this latter, it bridges to the Psychosynthesis work of Assigioli. I have given suggested wording and commented in [square brackets]. 1. Why Are You Here? Ask the client, “Why are you here? Not just here in this room – we know that [a truism] – but here?” Observe the instant client response, and then when they answer, note any self-pointing or other non-verbal communications. Listen to

any verbal predicates or tag comments. “I guess I’m here to bring up my family, I suppose?” [pointing back with both hands to shoulders] Firstly, ensure the verbal pattern is congruent, as you are going to fasten the original source feeling to it in a moment! So, in this example, you would delicately question [using NLP meta-model] “you guess? Well, didn’t you mention you had a family? Or am I guessing?” [using cherry-blossom elegance to simply be curious and helpful in tone]. Also, “you suppose?” Once these have been re-worded from the client as “I am here to bring up my family” you can proceed to ask the second question. 2. Where do you feel that the most? Here we see a use of the Milton language patterns, in “the most?” which implies they feel it, the question is where the most? This avoids asking “Do you feel that anywhere?” to which the response can easily be “No”. When asking this question, notice the non-verbal which may have already been given as they answered the first question. “Well, [points and shrugs shoulders up and down] I don’t really know”. “You don’t really know?” [move shoulders] “Well, I’m guessing by the way your shoulders move your body knows where?” “Oh, well, they are a weight sometimes” [drops shoulders] Once the location has been ascertained and agreed, then have the client calibrate it if you wish. If the client has pointed to the centre of their chest for “I am here to love”, you may be surprised that they can get it to within a few millimetres of “hot, cold, warmer” to find the exact point where the feeling is strongest. Note: If the feeling is intense, you can use this method as an induction, as the client will often close their eyes naturally to get “in touch” with the feeling. As the feeling is singular, it can rapidly be amplified into a trance-like state or as an interrupt pattern induction if you break into it with another suggestion: As you hold onto that feeling, closing your eyes to fully experience it, noticing just how your breathing changes as I

move in my chair … 3. What do you Intend? Having ascertained a static location for several cases of purpose, you may ask the client what is their intention or Will. This is more of their direction and action in the world, which should of course be aligned to their purpose. Ask the client, “What do you intend to do?” [to realise those purposes] If the client struggles to answer, you can ask them to review everything they have already done, which indicates to some extent what they have already done from their intent, whether desired or otherwise. Again, we are watching for the non-verbal. They may answer “I want to travel” whilst swishing their hand several times forward. You can then watch also for the way in which they perform a nonverbal meta-comment! This might be that they suddenly lay one hand on another, open their hand and then close it, make a sharp movement forward and then move it back, etc. This always seems to indicate a repression or suppression of that basic intent, a frustration at work. So then ask the client to state their intent whilst performing the “purest” version of their non-verbal possible, for example, gracefully sweeping their hand out, held open, whilst saying “I intend to travel”. 4. So Far, So Congruent To summarise and consolidate with the client, ask them to run through their purposes whilst gaining the sensation first from the non-verbal [an anchor/trigger] then when “fully residing” or “connecting to that part of yourself” before stating it out loud. Listen for any incongruity in the language or delivery, all aspects should be congruent. Then go through the intentions likewise. This can provide the client a very solid core or base on the corner of the therapeutic triangle between the edges of “self-image” and “values”.

In the following section we will consider different approaches to specific issues to which we might bring NLP or hypnotherapy. I have not prescribed specific step-by-step instructions in some circumstances in order that the therapist might bring the principles of incorporation and utilisation to bear as we have covered in this book. I have, however, presented various options which have proven useful in practice over the years and illustrative vignettes.

SPECIFIC ISSUES & TECHNIQUES

Disney Model The story man must see clearly in his own mind how every piece of business in a story will be put. He should feel every expression, every reaction. He should get far enough away from his story to take a second look at it...to see whether there is any dead phase...to see whether the personalities are going to be interesting and appealing to the audience. He should also try to see that the things that his characters are doing are of an interesting nature. - Walt Disney. This method of encouraging creativity was modelled on Walt Disney by Robert Dilts. He based the model on the above quote and a biography of Disney, where a colleague of Walt Disney was quoted as saying "...there were actually three different Walts: the dreamer, the realist, and the spoiler. You never knew which one was coming into your meeting”. Dilts took the modelling components of NLP, regarding representation systems (VAKOG – the five senses) and applied them to these three “Walts” as follows: Dreamer: Vc Constructed).

-

Clear

Created

Images

(Visual

Realist: K - In Somantic character, uncovering Deep Structure (Kinaesthetic).

Spoiler: Vr - Reviewing from Others perspective (Visual Recalled). We can create these three stages of creativity genius by anchoring them into three separate floor spaces, three chairs, or

even three hats – the spoiler is sometimes called the “critic” and is also referred to as the “evaluator” in some versions. It is important to access the states individually with strong associations whilst being in the physical postures or spaces which are to be used for the states. So, step into the “Dreamer” space or position, and consider a time when you really had no boundaries – ask yourself “What would I do if I couldn’t not fail?” This is classical brainstorming – but Disney had two other hats, otherwise he would not have achieved his visions! Then move into the Realist position. Consider a time when you were really “in the flow” or “in the groove” of something. Really belonged. Everything fitted into place. The best thing about NLP is that you can access any content – any experience or memory – or even make one up – to create the state. We are all about the STATE here. Finally move into the Spoiler position, chair, or posture. Really think of a time when you helped someone by improving their work in a constructive fashion, where you were right but diplomatic! Access that state and anchor it in this position. It sometimes helps to have a flipchart, pad or whiteboard for the DREAMER, a chair for the REALIST, and a desk for the SPOILER. Once you have associated those states with those three positions, you can now step into the spaces in sequence, putting your own idea or project through each separate filter. Go round the cycle several times. The following key-phrases may help: Dreamer Brainstorm – No Limit – Put Self into a previous time of Creativity – Wild Ideas – Spontaneity – Passion – Excitement – Bravery – Courage – Freedom – Openness – Make Clear Pictures – Draw – Sketch – Make Colours – Shapes – See the People – See the Scene – Go Detail – Go Small Chunks – Enhance Modalities – Amplify – See Clearly! Realist Feel the structure – What will make it work – How will it feel when it works – Put Self into a previous time of planning – when you organised something complex – met challenges – responded

precisely and efficiently – sorted things – made order – kept control – feel in touch with the situation as it goes to plan! Spoiler Get a positive intention to improve the plan – when have you looked at someone else’s plan and helped them improve it, enhance it? Questioned them respectfully and elegantly to add value, give feedback, make it complete? See what you saw on their face as you did your work, became a valued critic – see the flaws and fixes! And from a distance! Any dead phase? Where’s it Interesting? Resources? Conclusion This method can be done in groups or as an individual to really go through a project and create innovative solutions. You may also find you are more “one type” than another – it is good to identify in a group who are the dreamers, realists and spoilers, and get yourselves working together as a single creative and innovative Disney! Moon Base. Business Development/Disney Creativity Model. During a Disney Creativity Model session one woman was working on creating a professional organisation from an amateur hobby group based in Canada. During the dreamer phase of the process, she came up with the idea that the organisation would have a moon base. Whilst this was immediately criticised by the spoiler, the realist decided that it was likely to be realistic to have at least a global organisation rather than a local or national one. Several years after the exercise, her organisation exists in thirty countries and she travels internationally on a regular basis to host worldwide conferences. Apparently, she is also watching Virgin Atlantic’s new space programme to the Moon with interest.

Pain Management Introduction With all pain management techniques, you may consider the power of “seeding” in your session framework. The ability of the mind to generalise is also a powerful utilisation and should be seeded early in the session. An example may be the way that one forgets house keys, looks for them, and finds them in plain sight – somewhere where one has looked. This is a common example of negative hallucination. If it is mentioned at the start of the session, such negative hallucination may be called upon later towards therapeutic goal. In this case, we may have later nominalised “the pain”, built it into a metaphor, disassociated the person from the object of pain, and then under hypnosis offered them the ability to look at it without seeing it, such as the keys we were looking for earlier. You can also refer to several other resource examples as part of your seeding. 1. The mind cannot recall pain precisely. 2. The pain is not “in” the wound, or damaged location, nor in the nervous system transporting the signals. It is not really “in” the brain either, so it is an interpretation of - and response to - the situation. You can seed examples of miscommunication, mishearing something, or responding to a situation inappropriately as subtle seeds for working on this resource. 3. The “pain” is a message rather than a constant event. It is there to draw our attention to something. We can seed messages about our attention being able to “move” from one place to another to access the resource state to work in this area. It is a good use of incorporation – something may happen outside the clinic or room, and you can move all the other persons attention to it, then appear to have forgotten what you were saying, asking the other person to recall it. As a result, they access the state of having forgotten to pay

attention to one thing whilst being able to move their attention to something else. Other Considerations Pain is a threshold event, and therefore analogue, not digital, although it will often be reported as digital, i.e. “I am in pain”, meaning “I would like to be not in pain”. Gaining examples of the spread of experience – or any other experience – allows us to propose a sliding scale of pain. Similarly, there are other models we can promote to the unconscious, such as the restoring of equilibrium. We might use examples such as hunger or thirst as being moderately “painful” experiences which build until we restore equilibrium. We might also use this form of analogy when we are going to take an approach of time-space work, as we can then shorten the experience of time in which this balancing takes place. I often use the example of an elevator check and balance system and then compare it to a yo-yo which rises and falls rapidly. An elevator can also move at rapid acceleration whilst not being uncomfortable. These give the unconscious a model of moving along the scale of pain at speed. Strategies of Pain Management[105] The first two strategies for pain management are sometimes confused in terminology. They are anaesthesia and analgesia. It is anaesthesia that is the most used approach for clinical hypnotherapy in pain management. Anaesthesia – lack of feeling To seed the quality of anaesthesia, use the example of pinching the skin between the thumb and first finger. As there are no nerves here, we get a sensation of pressure but not pain. Under hypnosis we can then extend that feeling to the thumb, then the other fingers (adding a lot of counting-type deepeners) and then the whole hand, like a “numb glove”. Once we have built on this, we can then suggest that the hand be applied to the problematic area, and the anaesthesia transferred and spread across the whole area.

You can also use the nail area of a finger for this seeding, as there is no sensation on the nail itself. Analgesia – lack of pain A lack of pain can be located in another part of the body (or hair where there is no sensation) and transferred under hypnosis to the problematic part. This is also a good approach supported by breathing methods and progressive relaxation. Amnesia – forgetting pain response We can build upon the sensation of forgetfulness, of how we cannot recall specific sensations in the past, and then utilise that within the pain management. This works well with time-space work, so we can shorten the gap between the pain sensation and the forgetfulness. Dissasociation - Detatchment In disassociation, we build an image of the pain-free person, sometimes by making an analogue scale of being “less in pain” (and I would stress the “in” for this strategy) and then we move the person into the pain-free version of themselves. I tend to do this by marking each transition to a new version of themselves (i.e., as in the Magic Mirror technique) with a breath in or out. It is then possible to anchor the experience of disassociation to breathing so that we can make post-hypnotic suggestions that as pain arises, breathing control will allow us to move away from the pain. Re-Interpretation – changing frame of reference A more subtle form of pain management is to re-frame the experience as an alternative pleasant experience. An example would be the fear of a roller-coaster being translated into excitement. This can be more mundane in the fear of driving being turned into boredom. You can go into detail about the minute workings of the car, the wonders of physics and engineering at play, and then framing that with the “boredom” of a drive. We then re-frame this into being “bored” of the pain, under the guise of the engine metaphor. As an example, we would say, having built the metaphor, “… and it is interesting, isn’t it, that so much can be going on and yet we remain unaware, safe in the knowledge that we don’t have to be aware of every last cog, every single molecule … sitting securely

and allowing our mind to pay attention to the journey ahead whilst also being able to relax in our seat at the same time all of that is happening, hidden beneath the solid surface of the car, only a distant hum now …” Time Distortion – expanding pain-free, condensing painful experience In time-space work we can prepare a client for the recovery from a painful operation, or to make the most of periodic attacks of pain. We use our standard time-space elicitations and then move the client about that spatial/temporal geography, and then place the pain on it, with a trigger point and an ending point. We then simply allow the client to breath and accelerate through that experience and turn around from beyond it with a renewed sense of confidence that it can be experienced differently. We can add chunking into this so that we chunk down (in detail) any pain-free experiences, and chunk-up (into larger chunks such as ‘the experience’, ‘the episode’) any painful moments. Altering Sensations – changing muscle tone, temperature, blood flow, etc. When using the ability to alter sensation under hypnosis, we can first seed conscious and unconscious patterns, and the ability in some cases to take control of these patterns. Typical examples include demonstrating we can control our breathing by holding our breath or our unconscious tongue movements by sticking out our tongue. We can also show how we can interrupt a blink by keeping our eyes closed. Once we have demonstrated this ability, we can move onto altering sensations such as noticing one hand or another, and which is hotter or cooler. We can then suggest that a sensation is changing as one pays attention to it, such as the hands on our legs being less noticeable – that it is difficult to tell where the hand starts and the leg finishes – the sensations are merging together … etc. We can then use a control room type metaphor or visualisation to take control of the pain and alter its relative impact. We can do the same with breathing, our heart-rate, muscle tension, etc. I tend to recommend the triangle technique as an induction for this approach which promotes a feedback system between counting,

breathing and attention. Re-Evoking Pain-free or Pain-incompatible memories – with amplification This approach can be utilised with time-space work, where we create a “safe-time/space” and then really amplify it, using all modalities. We then provide an anchor to it which can be used to alleviate the painful experience by re-accessing the safe-time/place. It is useful to seed this by generally talking about how you can’t do two things at the same time, such as counting up and down or breathing in and out. Then later you can flag to the unconscious that it cannot experience the amplified safe time/space at the same time as the pain. You may choose to not do this consciously but leave it to the unconscious to process. Distraction or Absorption of Attention – re-focusing conscious attention Using a method such as the triangle technique and then showing how the mind can move its attention to one thing at a time and be totally absorbed is another powerful approach to pain management. One can seed this with discussion of music or other activities that absorb the attention. As often pain is seen as being “overwhelming”, when this is actually stated by the client, we will utilise this approach, to be absorbed into some other more positive state. Displacement of Pain – moving pain (external) This is a simple method which can be rapid and effective. Once someone has identified pain in a location, as a “noun”, we can move it out of them, or them out of it. We do this as a sudden pattern interrupt, i.e., moving the chair backwards or asking them to step backwards so they can “see” the pain, and describe it, etc., then we start moving it even further away … asking how what they can see changes, constantly displacing it, or we can do the same under hypnosis. Again, like many of these strategies, we can make both generalised post-hypnotic statements that these results will repeat when they might have otherwise had a pain episode, or provide an anchor, usually breathing or a physical anchor, to access the state. Creating a Compelling Sense of pain-free or pain-diminished future – time/space work

In this final approach, we work with the client to build a positive outcome frame of a pain-free or diminished future, and then, under hypnosis, move them into that future – and beyond it – so we can anchor the state. We then return them to the present moment, coming back down the time/space so that they can alter the state each time. This constant future-pacing can be highly effective in cases of pre-operation anxiety and recovery, as the underlying assumption is on a recovery – no matter the time! Additional Methods There are other methods which might also be considered in pain management work. Metaphor Re-Framing Using clean language to re-frame a metaphor, we can work towards an intervention that may elude conscious attention. This can be a powerful but strange method, resulting in statements and experiences such as “When lemon goes below tree, flag stops waving” as the result of an hour session, with no conscious idea what that means other than it stops the pain. Time/Space We have seen above several methods involving time/space work, and these are not limited to those alone. Once pain is associated in time, we can flex that time, disassociate with it, and any other approach, which will have a consequence on the pain held within the time-frame. Identity Shift into Pain-Free Self (or Other) Using the self-image methods, we can then shift identity into one of the self-images that contain a different pain response. One good example is when working with children, you can ask them to elicit a role-model of a superhero, or sports star, film character, etc., and who is very strong and brave. You can then check, using a magic mirror type technique that this character can respond to the pain in a suitably positive manner. Once this is established, under hypnosis, you can move the person into that other self, to feel what it would feel like being that person. I tend to call this the “What Would Superman Do?” method. Amplification Blow-Out

One can seed the idea that when you are fully focused on something, the edges vanish. There is an optical illusion of the “fading circle” that can be used to demonstrate this. I also tend to use the idea of concentrating totally on an itch or noise when meditating or trying to sleep, rather than trying to ignore it. The total concentration (as in absorption above) leads to a state in which the attention cannot process the event as there is no comparison to it. We can use this with pain, although one must overcome the natural response to move away from it, rather than dive headfirst into it – hence this is not often applicable. We do however try it ourselves as a natural response, when we yell and run around clutching ourselves in agony having only bumped our toe. Chunking Up/Down Knowing that we cannot experience ourselves at a cellular, much less molecular level, allows us to chunk down to those levels in hypnosis and incorporate that sensation into our state. This is often an adjunct to promoting healing in hypnosis (see other section) and can be contrasted with larger chunks of stars being in orbit, galaxies dancing in vast spaces and time, to connect the mind and body to natural and organic processes taking place at every scale. Conclusion In pain management, as in any other situation, incorporation and utilization are often the most powerful approaches and these methods above are not comprehensive. A good knowledge of the workings of the somantic system for pain can be helpful in any work with physical conditions. The most interesting snippets of research can be utilized. The middle area of the back has the least nerve endings, and you can suggest such a place when asking the client to scan their body for where they feel the least feeling. Similarly, hair has no nerve endings, neither do our nails, yet we feel that these are parts of our body. Finally, as with all our work, metaphors and analogies can serve to bypass the conscious and critical faculties. We can make an analogy such as dominos falling, where we take one domino out and

no matter what the construction, length or power of the whole event, the knocking of the following dominos does not take place.

Smoking Cessation “Do you know why there are twenty cigarettes in a packet?” is a question I often ask a client who has come to me for smoking cessation. I often ask this straight out of the blue – as a pattern interrupt. I allow the client to spend a moment thinking of possible responses, even allowing them to make some (“it’s because twenty is a round number”) and then interrupt again, “So you don’t know.” I say this in a flat tone with as little emotional cue as possible, i.e., they do not know if I am joking, being judgemental, or anything else. This allows me to re-actualise the state of not-knowing and being out of control in the present moment. It is a state invocation into their conscious awareness of their semi-unconscious relationship to habitual smoking and addiction. When they then await some further response, rather than provide it, I ask them if they know why there are twenty-four biscuits in a Weetabix packet. Or Forty-Eight, in a larger box, or Twelve in a smaller one. [This is also seeding counting and chunking for later trance induction if required]. I deepen their confusion by them also wondering now what this has to do with their expectation that I would be waving a pendulum and asking them to go into a deep sleep. I then explain that most people eat Weetabix either singly, or in twos, or sometimes – “for those that have no control” I joke in passing, whilst also setting a tonal trigger – three biscuits. I allow them to respond if they see where the idea is going, or I complete the thought process; “So One, Two and Three are equally divisible into twelve, twenty-four, and forty-eight …” I continue, “But that’s not the case with cigarettes. With cigarettes there’s a rule; we call it the three-three-three rule.” I do not specify the “we” as that provides an unconscious call to authority. “This rule is based on your body” (I gesture to their body) “and it is basic biology. It takes three hours for you to process the nicotine in a

cigarette. Depending on how much you drink – water is very good for you of course – after three hours you will want a cigarette for sure.” I then move to leave this loop open [see Lankton’s Embedded Metaphor] and introduce a metaphor whilst also moving some things into the past tense to re-vivify their forgotten state before they started smoking. “Addiction is like an elevator safety system. In your body. Your brain doesn’t like chemical change, not rapidly. So when you have a cigarette as you have been doing so in the past, you bring the elevator up a few floors. It then starts to drop rapidly. Do you know how a failsafe works? [At this point I may start to induct trance by gesturing with my hands and slowing the pace of delivery, if I feel the client would be better in trance]. It works by failing always to the safe position. So it doesn’t drop when the ropes fail in an elevator, it jams. The design is such it works against itself, to protect itself. When your brain feels itself dropping, you can feel it, so you think you want a cigarette to stop that – but you never wanted to be on that floor anyway; you were OK before. You were fine and healthy where you were before you got into the broken elevator. [This can be continued for a while if you wish to elaborate – I also continue to develop the counting, particularly if we are moving into a trance state]. So, that’s why cigarettes have twenty or ten in a carton. Because there are twelve hours in a day – two lots of twelve making twentyfour hours around the clock. And they [against the we] don’t want you to be able to run out within the time of the elevator going down all the way. So, having twenty ensures you will always need to remember to get another packet within the time your body would otherwise come to rest in an OK state.

In effect, I am also here putting the client’s body on their side, despite themselves, in a conflict between them personally and the anonymous corporations. We will later call on this to help them even without them doing anything. This is not a political statement about cigarette companies other than another metaphor to reflect the clients state of feeling a powerless victim of their habit. If we have already elicited their values and some of those are independence, freedom, etc. this line of attack works even better [see Case Study, “Nobody Ever Put Me Down”]. Now, that three-three-three rule? That’s because in three hours, your elevator goes down. In three days, you’ll have actually got rid of all immediate calls on the elevator – because your body will have naturally got rid of the toxins in your bloodstream causing the chemical imbalance – faster if you are drinking lots of water. In three weeks, you’ll have started to notice incredible changes, because you’ll be tasting more, smelling more, not running out of breath when you go upstairs, and feeling like you remember feeling before. But there’s a catch – in three months you may forget that you had a habit, and that’s when you can remember how far you’ve come and finally have got that far from those first three hours, no matter how many times you have to count to three. Just Will-Power. Smoking Cessation/Incorporation. A man was referred to me by his wife to give up smoking. He told me straight away he did not think hypnosis would work because he was so strong-willed. I asked him why he thought he was strongwilled. He said that he always got something done that he intended to finish. I asked him if he had seen any hypnosis. He said he had seen it on television, but it looked like people pretending and for entertainment. I said he was probably right; those people were pretending, and it was entertaining. He said he would pay me but did not think he would have another session. I said that he could pay me, and we were indeed only likely to have this one session.

I asked him if he was comfortable with his arms folded. He said he was, but then, as I held his gaze, he likely assumed it was a trick question, and unfolded his arms to perhaps show me that he could do what he wanted. I went on to say that hypnosis was a state of concentration, if he got what I meant? He said that he did - of course he did. He wasn’t stupid. So, I asked him what sort of work he did when he needed to concentrate, and if he was able to concentrate for any length of time? He said he was very able to concentrate for any length of time, and asked me in return, “are you able to concentrate for a length of time?” I said I was usually able to concentrate for a length of time if something was very important to me. I asked him what was important to him, as we would not be doing any hypnosis and we had “quite a length of time” now to spare in the session. We continued like that for the whole session, with me occasionally commenting on how it was impressive I could not even trick him into hypnosis because he was so strong-willed. I also regularly pointed out that I could not use any means to get round him as he was still concentrating on not being hypnotised. We finished the session with an agreement that it had not worked out for him. About two months or so later, I met the couple in the street, and asked how it was going. He said that there were no hard feelings about our session not working out, but he was grateful for the time and had successfully given up by himself anyway. He was that strong-willed.

Panic Attacks and General Anxiety One of the most common complaints brought to hypnotherapy sessions is general anxiety. As this is, in effect, a form of selfhypnosis, and the person suffering it has usually a skill in this area, I tend towards a technique such as the Betty Erickson method - my go-to technique by default. In the cases of general anxiety, this method allows the client to learn a little more about altering their own state and achieves some conscious awareness of their own state changes. If a client, however, is anxious about learning, for example, ahead of exams or other educational setting, I would not try and give them a method to learn, even if relatively straight-forward. It is sometimes adults who have returned to a learning environment that have this anxiety, not just parents bringing their children. These adults often show great accomplishment in other areas of their lives - a paramedic on helicopter patrols, for example - but have negative associations about early learning experiences. In those cases, I tend towards a magic mirror or even a circle of excellence approach, as we have many positive resources in other areas of their life that we can elicit, utilise, and assist them re-map to the present concern to which they are responding with anxiety.

Gambling Whilst in this book we are presenting a range of techniques and methods with which to be flexible in your approach, I have found that one useful approach to gambling or other addictive behaviour is a staged delivery of interventions. Firstly, I tend to teach the client a means of self-hypnosis. This allows the client to have something on which to focus, and to demonstrate engagement with the approach. It also provides some empowerment to change their own state. Secondly, I then tend to do a value elicitation, which provides new material and allows the client to become conscious of many elements of themselves that they may not have been previously aware. I then utilise the values in a multiple embedded metaphor or similar overload technique to provide as much saturation of resources into the unconscious as possible. Once we have established, usually over the course of a few sessions, some change, I then introduce n-step reframing unless there are other directions, which allows us to address any parts that are still at play. A conclusion to a series of brief counselling would be given by another multiple embedded metaphor, a simple magic mirror technique, general relaxation and suggestion work, or a time/space method which might future pace the changes already achieved. In this approach the reader will see how we are bringing the entire therapeutic triangle to bear, from the values, self-image, and time/space work.

Weight Management With weight management work or self-image work my own approach would be to first work with a relaxation or state-change technique such as the triangle method of induction. I would tend to be more direct and authoritative in these cases as that seems to meet some expectation of having the work (as is the “problem”) outside of the volition of the client. I usually then incorporate and utilise any of the issues that the client has provided, sometimes in a confusional framework. At the heart of the sessions or session I introduce the magic mirror method as a useful tool for encouraging progressive change. Any further work can consolidate the self-image of the client by eliciting and utilising values, and then completing the work with time/space work for future pacing and post-hypnotic suggestions.

Stage or Presentation Anxiety In terms of NLP preparation, one of the most useful methods for stage anxiety is the Circle of Excellence, modified to use an anchor such as pressing your thumb and first finger together briefly. I have also found that if you are a more auditory type-of person then using the Circle but counting briefly from one to three instead of a physical anchor can function as a good trigger, as it overrides any internal voices and manages breathing as a useful side-effect. Other methods of working with presentation anxiety can include working with the values/beliefs or self-image sides of the therapeutic triangle. If you have value, for example, in sharing information, rather than personal recognition, you can physically arrange to have a large presentation chart/board/display above you and to one side. This means that you virtually join the audience in looking up at it and can draw on your excitement to be sharing the information rather than being the focus of the presentation. Another useful recognition is that of VAKOG and Chunking, covered elsewhere in this present book. It is good to rehearse an opening that includes all styles of representation, starting with Kinaesthetic big-chunkers (so to speak) and working through to auditory and visual, chunking down to detail.[106] Here is a simple example: Hello everyone, and welcome to the Wilson lecture hall here in Sheffield, I hope you all got a bit of sunshine on the way in, despite the noisy building work over in the courtyard. I’m here for an hour before lunch to present an overview of the history of NLP, neuro-linguistic-programming all the way from the rather magnetic Mesmer to Modern-Day [hold arms out and look to back of audience] and we’ll also have time to cover specific aspects of this subject, particularly the work of Milton H.

Erickson [bring hands together and look at front of audience] and take any questions do you go away from today with a firm grasp of how the history of NLP is in some way part of your own studies of therapeutic modalities… You will see that we have also thrown in a You/I switch to go from personal to inclusive and universal. We have also added a value suggestion which makes it clear in the first few seconds as to what value the audience will hopefully take from your time. If you listen to good presenters using an NLP framework, you can find many models so that you can incorporate and utilize those which best suit your own voice, manner, subject, and audience. In addition to standard preparation, for example, having a backup in case you finish too soon, planning for worst case scenarios, another important factor to consider is Anchoring. If you are following, for example, a presentation that has been poorly received, do not go and stand in exactly the same place as the previous presenter - particularly if they have not even moved around. You would be surprised how effective a swishing motion can be, wiping to one side the previous presentation and signalling that yours is going to be different.

Inner Child Work The wide scope of inner child work is somewhat outside of this present book, but we will look at several utilisations of the “Inner Child” within the context of NLP and hypnotherapy. I believe that such work is best prepared for with experience, and almost certainly some extended length of counselling on the part of the therapist, dealing with their own childhood and parenting. There may never be a perfect person or a perfect time to conduct inner child work, but we can certainly prepare for it. In this context and in effect, inner child work can be considered a form of parts therapy. We take it that the inner child is a distinct and identifiable part of the client that requires better integration, acceptance, or healing. Sometimes it simply requires to be heard and acknowledged. Again, this is evident usually after some amount of time with a client, rather than to be launched into during a single session of brief therapy. There is usually a set-up whereby the resources of the grown-up client are taken “back” to the child part, thereby resulting in a sense of rescue or healing. The child part is seen in the present as “acting out” unacknowledged purposes or intent to the detriment of the adult. The Jungian concepts of the puer aeternus and puella aeterna, the eternal youth, teach us that whilst these archetypes can be detrimental, they also hold positive and essential qualities such as “youthful enthusiasm and energy … spontaneity of thinking … and willingness to strike out in a different direction”.[107] However, for such energy to be properly realised, as an identified part of the self and with adequate consideration of reality, it also requires the senex archetype; the wiser, older and more experienced aspect of self.[108] Symptomology As with many issues, there can be a range of symptoms experienced by the client that might lead us towards work with the inner child: Eating Disorders.

Self-Harm.

Panic Attacks.

Insomnia.

Flashbacks & PTSD.

Troubled Relationships.

Repeating patterns of self-destruction. Whilst these are not in themselves immediately indicative of inner child issues, they might also occur in particular ways we can call signposts: Signposts Recurrent behaviour.

A sense of emptiness.

Phrases such as “it’s all old scripts”, “inner voices”, “haunting”, “told I’m like a stuck record” etc.

These signposts indicate the lack of control on the “undisciplined” nature of the inner child, which we might seek to “re-parent”. The natural loneliness of particular stages of growing-up might also have been crystallised with the inner child, resulting in a script that “nobody understands this” or “nobody is like me”. The VAKOG model can also frame where the activity is being represented, such as in an eating disorder, where there is a primarily kinaesthetic channel, or sudden outbursts of anger which are auditory. These were likely programmed by the upbringing of the child that has learnt to express these issues through the same channel. We are likely to notice other factors that represent the misplaced inner child, where a part of the self has become time-locked in a younger version: Nature of Inner Child Self-Centred.

Emotional.

Balance of Dependencies/Autonomy. The inner child is naturally self-protective, and this is a positive and appropriate mechanism, until it is not. If that becomes a selfcentring, “narcissistic”, self-regarding, self-referring and utterly selfabsorbed control, it will endlessly seek validation and at the same time, never be satisfied with it. The fragmented inner child will also have issues with authority, whilst recognising such in a fixed and naïve manner. It perhaps goes without saying that this part of a self, if unattended and unmanaged, will only react in emotional ways, often exaggerated for effect.[109] Our approaches to deal with the issues arising from a wounded inner child within NLP and hypnotherapy are broad and flexible: Approaches

Re-Parenting.

Self-Nurturing.

Inner Critic/Inner Nurturer (in NLP ‘parts therapy’ and reframing).

Time-Space (Guilt & Shame). We will look at these approaches and provide suggestions for NLP and hypnotherapy work in each approach.[110] However, first, we would prepare for such a session in advance, with the client: Preparation Memories.

Non-Dominant Hand Drawing.

Seeding ‘past’ associations.

Safe Place - Real or Metaphor.

Stories: Eliciting care for a lost child scenario, etc. In preparing for inner child work, we can either elicit or find naturally arising issues and states that can serve the client once we

begin such work. It is often the case that the client will unconsciously provide these as signposts to inner child work, without prompting. However, if we feel the need to go there, we can also elicit resources in preparation. The first area to consider is within memory; how does the client retrieve their memories in terms of VAKOG and eye-accessing? Do we know where they place their memories and how they know which ones are negative and which are positive? Often, these will have opposite representations; the negative memory might be fully identified, and the positive ones might be dissociated. Once we have discussed their memories and elicited a workable model, we can then begin to re-frame their childhood experience in a more resourceful manner under hypnosis: And as you look back at that memory now, I want you to see it as if you were looking at it as a scene; float outside of yourself whilst still retaining all the awareness and recognition of your true part in that situation. … and now, with those positive resources you have as an adult, float back into that younger self, to see with your own eyes how it truly was …[111] We can utilise non-dominant hand drawing to allow the client a metaphor for their younger, pre-school self. If we ask them to draw something or write themselves a letter with their non-dominant hand, we can also use any generated content as a metaphor in hypnosis: Just like a very little creature under a tree, you can find how that tree has grown up for so many years to now provide shelter to the very little creature as well as being such a strong tree it has weathered all the storms and so many different times no matter whether it stormy or not … If the client has made strong associations to the past in previous discussions, we can seed those back into the preparation for inner child work: I really used to laugh at those old cartoons.

I never understand that advert, but I was too young at the time.

I hated going on holidays. Might be re-seeded as: In the work we are about to do, it might appear cartoonish on the surface, but that will allow deep change to happen.

[In hypnosis] Like something you didn’t understand at the time, advertising its presence now, now that you are older and can understand it differently.

Inner child work won’t be a holiday, but it could be very useful to you, I feel. Using or amplifying the client’s own references to play, school, and early learning experiences will also seed useful states and references prior to the delivery of the work. It is important to have a safe-space metaphor before commencing inner child work and regression, usually best placed as a metaphor, particularly one based in reality: As you hold the arm of the chair, so solid in this room.

Returning now to that view when you travelled to France, full of bright sunshine, totally open to what the day might bring and aware that you could choose to do anything today …

Now under that tree again, feeling the age of it above you, sheltering you … Finally, we can also utilise stories as in “my friend, John” to seed resources for later use, or use the client’s own stories: I remember being lost in a marketplace and feeling that my parents must have already gone home, but a moment later I saw them walking back to me.

Do you remember your first ever book, or the moment when you realised that the words in the book described the pictures?

So, you learnt piano at any early age and your grandmother told you stories whilst she taught you? What was your favourite story? Ah, Cinderella. Might be utilised in hypnosis or within an embedded metaphor: All of those thoughts like people in a crowd, at first seeming bigger than you, but then, like in a marketplace, getting filtered out until you can see your parents, what it is like to have found a thought you thought you had lost …

And that learning, all that you have discovered now, like realising that words relate to pictures, something so obvious now you do not even need to remember it …

… because it is like Cinderella, and all the music that accompanies that story, the feeling of security, and knowing a story is being told with a happy ending, hearing it as you learn so many new things - how to make music, how to remember the important things in life … We will now look at three approaches that can be utilised to deliver inner child work; the mirror method, the parts method and time/space work. As ever, the therapist should be flexible in adopting the best approach for the client, given the context and communication. When your best friend is being annoying on a night out, telling them angrily to “just grow up!” is the simplest but likely least effective inner child work, for example. We might better ask them, adopting a parental tone, “how old do you think you are right now?” Check the Pockets. Observation/Session Management. It is essential to check client’s pockets. I was working with a client who was conducting a piece of inner-child work. She had moved into a reasonable trance to face something quite profound in her past. Her head was leant forwards and her body slumped as I gently guided her towards the moment of revelation. I was carefully prompting her; “what is it that your four-year old self has to say to you now?”, when her mobile phone loudly went off with an alarm reminder in her upper shirt pocket - right under her nose. I do not recall who hit the ceiling first, but I now always remember to ask the client to check their pockets. Mirror Method In the Mirror Method, we can recreate a childhood scene prior to any particular event and then elicit and amplify resource states in the client. When they are ready, they can step into the mirror with those states and review the experience from that perceptual position and state. We can also chunk down for more detail, before asking them to freeze the scene. We then ask them to turn around to face out of the mirror and see another mirror with the same pre-scene. When ready, they can take

a breath, amplify their resource states and step out from one mirror into the other and observe the scene again. We can repeat this method until new insight has re-framed the scene, or it changes significantly. If it is required at any time to decrease the intensity of the memory and scene, we can use VAKOG to do so, e.g. making the scene black and white, smaller, etc. Parts Method In the parts method we can use the n-step reframing pattern to work with a “younger part of ourselves” that is the first part in the method. This is particularly useful if the original creation of the issue is not recalled or if the client wishes the method to be content-free, i.e. they do not want to vocalise aspects of the original memory. Time/Space Methods In the time/space approach to inner child work, we establish a time-space or line as given and then we can stack resource states in the present, amplify them, and then float over the timeline and go back to just before a particular age. We can then take the client back through their time-line with the required resources, all the way back to the present moment and beyond into the future. Once this has been done, we can ask them if the original scene or “age range” on the line has lessened or changed in quality. We then incorporate any report of changes and repeat the process. Consideration of Inner Child Work One factor that we might consider before practising inner child work is that of the negative nature of the inner child itself, the “Dark Side” of the inner child.[112] This might at first be read as the inner child having a “dark side”, such as its ability to fantasize over reality. We must certainly not fall to the extreme where we worship our inner child as an entire innocent whom we will go back and nature and love and heal and with whom we will live happily after ever. In fact, the very notion of an inner child might be said to be problematic. As Wolinsky proposes, “To try to heal, say the ‘right things to, re-frame, or re-decide the inner child only adds to the created identity and keep it alive. In other words, you must keep the identity present and functioning in order to heal it”. Wolinsky proposes a fascinating argument that the “dark side” of the inner

child is in its ability to entrance us, and we must work not to hypnotise clients and regress them, but to de-hypnotise the trancestates in the present into which the “inner child” is projected. I have cited Wolinsky here and his book is listed in the bibliography for recommended reading.

Phobias A phobia can be seen in the context of this book as an internal misrepresentation; and whilst all phobias are unique (see the vignette, “Lemon Jelly”) they can be generally grouped into categories. As babies and children, we have natural causes of anxiety; loud noises, being separated from our parents or being lost. Then we develop other fears as we start to develop our imagination; ghosts, monsters under the bed, strange shadows or noises. As we enter adolescence these worries gravitate towards social anxieties, exam anxiety, the loss of our parents, etc. There are very few “natural” phobias; overwhelming ‘move away’ signal events – these are heights, loud noises, and fire, about which we are instinctively wary. Virtually all other phobias are learnt behaviour, and as such, can potentially be unlearnt. Lemon Jelly. Phobia/Specificity. A client came who was suffering from a specific phobia; that of jelly, and specifically, lemon jelly. This had recently become an issue in her life because her daughter was now turning seven years old, the age that she was starting to get invited to her friends’ birthday parties. The client was so concerned that there might be lemon jelly at any of these events that she would have to drive her daughter to the road outside the party house, telephone the host, wait for the host to signal from the door, and then send her daughter out of the car and up through the front garden or across the pavement into the house. She would then repeat this process in reverse to pick up her daughter. Whilst the actual work conducted with this client was relatively content-free, her known cause of this phobia did come up during a session. At a young age, she had been abused by a family member.

And the reward for her compliance and secrecy throughout those several years, until she grew up to escape the abuse, was always the same. Lemon jelly. There is no such thing as a ridiculous phobia. A phobia exists on a scale; some people are able to jump out of aeroplanes with a parachute but without too much fear, and others are terrified even if someone mentions a holiday abroad which requires a plane flight. A phobia is also quite specific; clowns but not all circus performers; dead spiders but not live ones; certain types of meetings but not others. The most common phobias I have experienced in my practice, and appear to be commonly categorised as most often occurring are: Injections, Medical Procedures & Related.

Dentists.

Heights.

Spiders.

Agoraphobia/claustrophobia.

Flying.

Presenting/public speaking.

Sickness (Emetaphobia).

Urination in the presence of others (Paruresis). Often these phobias are not dealt with until they really stand in the way of someone’s life values and goals [see section on values – which can be used to support and reinforce phobia work if elicited in advance]. As an example, someone invited to attend a close relative’s wedding abroad, such as their own son or daughter; a person offered a promotion that involves public speaking; a person whose new and friendly neighbours have a dog, etc. [See Case Study: The Emetaphobe’s Nightmare]. Another component of the phobia is the trigger, which can take many forms or be extremely specific; only a certain smell, for example, or a certain breed or size of dog. In one personal case [See Case Study: The Policeman who Could Count] the trigger was the number of people in a room – specifically four or more. Finally, when considering the overall model of a phobia, we should consider if it is an instant trigger or a threshold. A person might be able to be in a park with a dog, but not a small room, which would indicate a threshold, but another might be instantly phobic about any dog in any place. One person might balk at the idea of any car journey, another might ‘freak out’ at any car journey that went over two hours. There are several approaches to working with phobias; the one I was taught when I was first learning basically consisted of “uncovering” the cause of the phobia by regression work, and then basically leaving it at that – as if the conscious recollection of a previously repressed memory would be enough to release the

phobic response. In practice, I found this only part of any treatment. I also learnt two methods from Richard Bandler’s work, which I share here. I would also like to unpack the method somewhat and suggest a surprising core to its function, and one that can be used in many other ways outside of this fixed format. Man-made Structure. Phobia/Chunking. An engineer came to me for a height phobia. However, like many phobias, it was extremely specific. He was able to climb mountains and take flights but could not stand to climb up man-made structures. This would not have presented a problem to him other than the fact that he had just received a lucrative contract maintaining and repairing wind-farm turbines. Based on him being an engineer and his extremely specific (small chunked) phobia, I chose an induction using naturalistic chunking, moving rapidly from detail to big picture. I set up patterns of expectation in his unconscious by always repeating the same process. I would describe a beach and then have him visualise the minute grains of sand comprising of quartz and silicone and other metals. I would then describe the same with a mountain and all the levels of metal in the deep mines below. I would then describe the night sky and immediately zoom in to the construction of a star. I then discussed gravity holding all the planets in motion and then zoomed back to the grains of sand being held at a molecular basis [in discussing metals any natural occurrence in both sand, the stars and the mines, I was aiming to blur the distinction between naturally occurring elements and man-made metals]. Having established this pattern of expectation, I then started to ask him about the construction of a bolt. We zoomed in to the molecular detail and I asked him to consider breaking a bolt with his bare hands. Doing this rapidly I then asked him to imagine attempting to break two bolts in increasingly unlikely manners. For example, jumping up and down on them. When he was laughing at this, I collapsed the state with the expectation which had already

been established. I asked him to look out from the top of a wind turbine and consider how many bolts were there, holding the structure together [in an unimaginably unbreakable manner from the molecular level upwards]. We then began to future-pace and rehearse him counting the bolts as he ascended and descended turbines in the future. A few weeks later he unexpectedly telephoned me from his car to tell me that he was doing very well in his new job.

Theatre/Cinema Method In this method, the art is to keep the attention of the client focused where it needs to be at every step. The method allows the practice of multiple disassociations, guided by the therapist, during which the phobic state is collapsed into a less panic-arising state. However, the phobic state must be identified and elicited, so this is done in the third person. At no point in this method should the client be identified with the actor experiencing a phobia - and so the therapist must also be aware and directing their attention accordingly. I have marked these three levels of disassociation as [DA] in the instructions. I have found in useful when teaching this method to walk a student through each step whilst placing them in a slightly different location of the room. It is a good practice to do this oneself, even if you simply face a slightly different direction or move your feet slightly at every step. This sets up a positional or kinaesthetic anchor for each time you return to any step. I will give the method in outline first and then in more detail: 1. Visualise a Cinema. 2. Visualise entering the cinema and sitting down [1st DA]. 3. Float outside of body and watch self from balcony [2nd DA]. 4. Set phobic scenario pre-trigger as a STILL IMAGE on screen [1st Safe Point].

5. Start the movie and observe self, watching screen as the phobia situation occurs and report on reaction [3rd DA] with a score 1-10. 6. Run scene to after phobic moment [2nd Safe Point]. 7. Enter scene [at second safe point] as self [4th DA] and play backwards, black and white, with ridiculous music [collapse states]. 8. Run scene backwards to first safe point and white out. 9. Float out of identity and back to balcony. Return still image [1st Safe Point]. 10. Re-run scene whilst watching self in stalls and report changes. 11. Repeat 7-10 until score of intensity has decreased significantly. Detailed Instructions In this closed-eye method, the client is asked to visualise a cinema or theatre hall. I usually start from the outside and ask them to enter the cinema when they feel comfortable looking at it from the outside [1]. They then sit down in the cinema and we can ask if they are comfortable, looking up at the screen, with the balconies behind them and to either side [2]. We ask them to imagine that as they sit there they can float up and outside their body, floating up to the side-balcony so they can see themselves sat down in the stalls from one side [3]. We can consolidate this and keep their attention to this identification state by asking:

How do you look, sat down there looking up at the screen?

Can you see if you are relaxing yet, or excited? We then ensure that they will keep watching their face down there so they can answer some questions for us in a while. At no point will they need to look at the screen. The client is then asked to watch their face as on the screen appears a still colour scene - frozen at the moment - of any time before a phobia situation is triggered. In the case of someone with a phobic response to dogs, this could be a kitchen, packing for a picnic [4]. Ask the client how they are sat in the cinema, down there, and if they can describe how they are looking in terms of posture and facial expressions - the one looking up at the screen, not them [4]. We then ask them to imagine how they will look as the movie now starts and runs through a scene in which they would usually be having a phobic response. Whilst we ask them, we focus their attention on themselves in the stalls, not the screen. Rarely does a client want to look at the screen at this point, but we can incorporate that by keeping their attention focused on reporting their reaction in detail. We ask them to score their reaction scale on 1-10 where 10 is most frightened and 1 is utterly calm and relaxed. As they react, we let them know the movie plays the scene until the first safest point after the situation; in the case of the dog phobia, perhaps on returning back to the house. We say that here the movie will freeze for a while and ask them how their face in the stalls looks now.

We now elicit a piece of music or sound that makes the client laugh - or, better, giggle. Ask the client for a piece of music that makes them smile, or they find absolutely ridiculous. This could be the theme song to a silly cartoon, or a brass band with penguins instead of people - anything. It must provoke a visible reaction of humour, such as smiling, shaking the head, laughing, etc. We can amplify that using our representational systems (VAKOG) such as “is it more ridiculous if the music is played faster, or only with a kazoo?” When we have that, we ask for a strange task for their imagination. We ask them to float from the balcony into the movie screen where the still image is frozen of their safe after-point. It is usually at this point we have the most increased disassociation. At this point, they are sat in the chair in front of us for real, a version of them which we are now ignoring is sat in the stalls, and they have another version in the balcony which is now merging with the version that was on the screen. It does not matter at this point if they are consciously confused, as they have four versions of themselves now running. This method also installs a strategy of disassociation, which in itself is a generally useful coping mechanism for brief moments of fear. We now tell them that the movie is about to run backwards, really fast, with them still inside it. But the moment it starts in a minute, they will hear that ridiculous music playing at the same time. The movie will start backwards in a moment, but first the still scene becomes black and white, all the colour and novelty of it taken out entirely. The client is counted down and told to say when they have reversed the whole movie back to their first safe point, before the event even happened. We can make the music for them if it sounds even more ridiculous and speed our voice up as the movie - with

them inside it, going backwards through the phobia situation speeds backwards to the start. We then ask them to freeze that scene, make it colour again (if they can) and float back outside of the screen back up to the balcony. We emphasize how weird that was, and any other resource states that may have arisen, such as laughter, curiosity, a strange sense of control or relaxation, etc. We now ask them to watch themselves back down in the stalls as the movie is about to play again, even though we have already seen it and maybe even getting bored of it already. We can use as much Ericksonian language and make suggestions as we wish throughout the whole method. We then ask them to notice what changes in their reaction as their stalls-self watches the same movie play out again. On a scale of 1 - 10, how do they now react? It will usually diminish by 1 - 3, sometimes by a longer way. If it does not appear to change, ask for more detail and pick up on even the slightest change - again, we are after the example that it can change, even in the smallest amount. That is often good enough for the unconscious to map much further change in the future. At this point, we have run through the method so now we add a loop, again, the method itself is installing a new way of thinking about a situation; that we can replay it in a more constructive manner. We might guess that this method is simply a reversal of the exact model in which a phobia is usually processed. We now ask the client to float back into the final scene which is again frozen on the screen, turn it into black and white, and then feel the whole movie speed in reverse again as before, with them inside it. Again, we repeat this all the way to floating back out, then watching their stalls-self watch it forwards, reporting on any

decrease of anxiety. We can repeat this at least three or four times, looking for any reduction in the scoring. The future-pacing and anchoring of this method is implied within the process itself, but we can add posthypnotic suggestions as we ask them to re-orientate and re-open their eyes. There and Back Again. Phobia/Reframing. An extremely distressed client came to me complaining of a travel phobia. As we have seen, all phobias are extremely specific as they are almost always learnt behaviours. In this case, the specificity was that the client could travel for a short time, so long as she knew that returning home was an easy option. Her distress had been caused by a recent event where a car had broken down and they had been told that they would have to stay overnight because no public transport was available for a return journey. We worked through some standard discussions and a relaxation technique in the first session. In the second session, we worked on the main NLP phobia method and then left it for two weeks. Unfortunately, but somehow unsurprisingly, a similar incident repeated and she came back for a follow-up session. I followed my most usual progression of methods, and we did some time/space work. Again, two weeks passed, and yet another incident occurred, and she returned to a further session. I began to look at this as a communication that her unconscious knew we had a solution present, but we had not yet listened to it. I looked back over my original notes, searching for something that was obvious and simple. It turned out the answer was there in our faces all along. In the follow-up session I placed the client into a light state of relaxation and returned to her original description of “a journey”. This was represented as a straight line between her home and the destination. We had already elicited that the line started to strain and stress the further she moved away from her home point. Her

maximum stress was when she felt that she would not easily be able to return to her home point in the same journey. In the relaxed trance-state, I introduced metaphors of string; tying shoelaces, the figure eight as a representation of infinity, a coil of rope at a harbour side, untying a difficult knot, and the orbit of the earth around the sun as representing time. I emphasized how safe it feels to be in the middle of a circle, of friends, supportive colleagues, a dance, and other metaphors drawn from her social and domestic life. I then simply asked her to take the “safe” destination point in her mind and stretch a piece of string to any desired destination, “no matter how apparently far away”. Then, once she had stretched this out, “with some slack in the line”, and whilst still connected to the string, now place that destination point on top of her home point, creating a complete circle of string - or even collapsing it to a point, “whichever works best for you, for even a loop is a series of points and a point the smallest loop that is possible”. There was now no “there and back again” in her representation of a journey. Every journey was simply a journey towards home in a loop or an extension of a point in time. Indeed, it turned out to be that simple. By exploring and re-framing her initial definition of a “journey”, the object of the anxiety, we were able to remove the space in which that anxiety had context. At no point did we approach or work on any “cause” of this anxiety or other anxieties, etc. We kept the sessions content-free and simply dealt with the presenting issue. The client happily reported a night away with her husband in a Bed & Breakfast the following week. Further Notes As we can see in this method, there are several stages, but the one I believe is most important is the collapsing of the two states; the phobic state and the “giggle state”. Over the years I wondered about how this worked, and why it was specifically the “giggle” state which worked rather than any other form of humorous state. As I

considered the “giggle” state, I realised it was very specifically the counter-opposite of the phobic state: A Giggle State is when you take something overly humorously that should be serious (like giggling at a funeral) – a Phobic State is when you take something should be humorous (or non-problematic) in an overly serious way. So, the method works by multiple-disassociation, to allow for the phobic scenario to be represented, and then collapses two states, weakening the phobic strategy, whilst overloading the conscious mind; attempting to create the music consciously whilst seeing the scene in reverse – at speed - is an impossible task for the conscious, but easy to shortcut with the unconscious, so it does. It automatically creates a semi-trance state.

Reverse Spin Method Richard Bandler pointed out that a ten-minute piece of work to help with phobias was too long, so he developed a short-cut. We can see in this short-cut that it works even better if we anchor some of the “giggle state” into it by not taking it too seriously. We can also add some clean language [see later section] to elicit a more specific metaphor than Bandler’s original method. 1. Ask the client where the feeling starts when they feel a phobia. 2. Ask them what colour that feeling has as it must have a colour otherwise, they would not be able to see it. 3. Suggest to them that the feeling must move, otherwise it would just appear for only a moment and then vanish. 3. Ask the client how the feeling is moving. 4. Ask the client to take a deep breath in and on their outbreath, breathe the feeling of moving colour outside and in front of themselves so they can see it even better. 5. Ask the client to slowly move the externalised feeling in the opposite direction to how it was going. If the feeling was spinning clockwise, start to see it going anti-clockwise, if it were sparking around, start to make it whatever the client feels is opposite, such as imploding or dead still. 6. Ask the client to tell you what colour the colour changes into now the whole thing is going in reverse. This could be black to white, blue to bright orange, or any other visible and notable change.

7. Ask the client to take a deep breath out and when ready, to take that changed feeling back inside, whilst continuing to spin it in the opposite direction to the old feeling. 8. As they do, suggest to them that it will feel very strange as they will find it increasingly difficult to have the same level of phobic reaction whilst spinning that feeling in the new way. 9. Practice several times with the client, breathing out and in the changed feeling whilst trying to visualise an example of the old phobia until there is a significant reduction in response. 10. Suggest to the client that they can practice this with small examples, or if they are facing an immediate likelihood of a phobic response, such as an upcoming aircraft flight. I usually add this as a final few minute method to a phobia session, suggesting to the client they may find it useful as a further quick method for themselves to use if necessary, on top of any previous work. The Princess in the Tower. Agoraphobia/Metaphor. Once upon a time, I received a phone call from a young woman who told me she suffered from agoraphobia. She ran a successful restaurant nearby, but she had got to the stage where she could barely go downstairs (from where she lived) to meet customers and staff, never mind leaving the building. I arranged to visit her the following day. I arrived at the restaurant during closing hours and rang a doorbell with a speaker phone to be admitted up several flights of stairs into an upper chamber. The client was sat-up, clothed, in a four-poster bed surrounded by several stuffed animals and was talking on a mobile phone. She beckoned me to sit by her side and continued the call to tell her father that I had arrived. It was at the point, when I overheard his voice call her “my little princess”, that I felt as if I had entered a real-life metaphor.

I proceeded to tell a story whilst eliciting information from her and during this time she continued to both take and make telephone calls. I realised this was a surreal situation, so I began to incorporate that into the story. The story became a curious mixture of Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and, for some obscure reason, Goldilocks and the three Bears. I began to wonder where the boundaries of reality now lay. I was also beginning to wonder if she was paying any attention, as I seemed to be being manipulated in the same way as the various recipients of her phone calls. We concluded the session whilst I was still unsure whether going for such a direct metaphor had really assisted the client. As I left, she turned to me and blithely said, “Let yourself out, I have to make a phone-call. It’s to my mother-in-law; she’s a right wicked witch”. I could not help but smile to myself as I descended the spiral stairs, knowing that the unconscious is always present – particularly when it has directed the conscious to be making phone calls and keeping it out of the way. Later that week the client phoned me and said she liked the way I worked and requested a follow-up session. The princess soon descended the spiral staircase.

Phobia Treatment Summary 1.

Elicit the phobia or fear.

2.

Have the client relax and visualise a cinema auditorium with a large screen. They walk down the aisles and sit centrally in the front row. Use sub-modalities to increase the intensity of the experience.

3.

Ask them to gently detach themselves “out of their body” so they float up to the balcony (or projection booth) where they can sit and watch themselves down below, watching the screen.

4.

Now get them to imagine that their phobia, as it first arises (e.g. the approach of a dog, walking near the top of the stairs, seeing an open door) is appearing as a coloured SLIDE (still image) on the screen. Whilst they do, they are watching themselves down below watching the screen (not watching the screen itself).

5.

Now get them to watch themselves as the slide turns into a movie, with them in it, and the situation unfolds to the end.

6.

At the end of the movie, freeze the last frame back into a slide. Turn it into black and white. Ask the client to now put themselves into the movie (i.e., become fully associated into the image on the screen, looking out through their eyes so they can see the still, black and white scene).

7.

Get the client to now describe some particularly funny music, such as the theme song to “Benny Hill,” or music from a cartoon like “Tom and Jerry”. Ask them to hear that music as they now run the movie backwards at triple speed, seeing the events running backwards faster and faster as the ridiculous music plays. Watch the client for signs of the fear collapsing (i.e., laughing, smiling, shaking their head). When they get to the start of the movie, freeze-frame the image (still black and white).

8.

The client can now return out of the movie into their front-row seated position, and white-out the entire movie on the screen.

9.

You can now future-pace the phobia cure by asking them to return to step 3 and checking the response when they see the coloured slide image of their previous fear. Repeat steps 3 to 8, as necessary.

NLP in Sales One of the most common uses of what Richard Bandler has referred to as “persuasion engineering” is in the realm of sales.[113] Whether this is natural, subtle, trained, or heavy-handed, it is an essential part of all communication. In effect, as we have seen time and again, when we listen to people talk, virtually everything we say is some form of hypnosis. One child needs to persuade her parents to buy this toy and not that one, one boy wants to tell a girl that an evening out with him might be delightful for both, one man needs to sell the cards on his lot because his family depend on him and that is his job and passion. A woman and a man need to convince corporations to sponsor their animal sanctuary, another pair need to argue their case for end of life treatment for an elderly relative. In my experience, sales should come down to one thing; value. [114]

If you are selling a product, such as a car, does it meet the values of the buyer? If we do not know what they value, how will we know which vehicle will meet that criteria? The best salesmen know. Consider these two idle conversations, just from the salesman’s side, as he walks two different clients, who have just turned up at the lot at different points of the day, across the tarmac, to look at some cars: A: Wow, it’s cold, even for this time of year. Don’t you think so? Yeah, that’s right - going on holiday? Skiing! I love to ski too. Whereabouts? Wow, there’s some exciting runs there. Taking the family? Oh, with your workmates, that’ll be wild. Ah, no I understand you want to have a break, it’s been tough in that industry of late hasn’t it? B: Gosh, it’s cold, even for this time of year. Yeah, it really is. I’m glad to be going on holiday soon, how about you? Anything

planned? Disneyworld! That’s great. Have you been there before? No? Are you taking your family? Oh, that’s good. Yes, it really is a good place, I went several years ago. Oh no, it was quite alright, I went on a few of the scary rides by myself, but the kids still had a good time on the smaller rides. That everyday conversation has been conducted in less than a few moments of meeting the two different clients and is perfectly natural. It seems. Now let us take a listen to the sales commentary for a car being presented to the first client, and then a car for the second client: A: Now, it’s a bit at the higher edge of most budgets, but this car is simply exciting to drive. I love to drive it myself. Plenty of space for loading up and just getting away from it all. You can take it out for a test now if you’re up for it, just don’t go too wild on the corners. Yes? B: I feel this car here will be an obvious choice for you, I think. It’s what I would recommend, and I’ve driven lots of them in my time. It’s a good family car, is marked high in its range for safety and the budget isn’t going to scare anyone. We can take it out for a drive now, as the roads are quiet. What do you think? These two sales spiels are just a typical selection of what we might expect to hear about when being told about a car that might suit us. However, there is something powerful also going on, and when done right, naturally, and with full congruence to matching the product or services to the needs of a customer, it is powerful sales technique - it is value. In both those two cases, if the reader has not already guessed it in which case, good job, you are observant, thank you - it is the same car. We might be able to use amplification, anchoring, and Milton Model language patterns to slide a client between “interest”, “like”,

“want” and “need”, but unless the product or service adds value, this is likely wasted time on both sides. Dancing with Dealers. Sales Techniques/Pacing and Leading. I was once in the fortunate position of being able to buy a brandnew car. My partner at the time and I were having to visit a lot of dealers because we were nervous and really wanted to make a good choice. As we began to spend time visiting different salesrooms, it became obvious that some salesmen (always men) had either learnt some NLP or unconsciously/consciously were matching and mirroring body movements. Whilst this does happen unconsciously in natural behaviour, it was far more obvious in these cases. So, we developed a competition. If there was any occasion where this was happening, the game was to see how many dance-moves we could get a salesman to make in response to our leading movements. I once had a salesman do virtually the whole of the “birdy song” dance whilst at the same time trying to sell me a Chrysler. We did not do this too vindictively, but as a way of putting to one side the heavy sales tactics so we could better concentrate on what was being communicated about the car. The moral of this vignette is to not presume that if you are matching and mirroring someone, even consciously, you are in any way leading it. Nowadays, we have social media to tell us what people value, which is on what they spend most attention. Gaining control of attention is the most valued necessity of advertising and the most important thing to work on personally. This is recognised in the most unlikely of venues, the ceremonial temple, where in one late 19th century occult initiation, the candidate vows not to allow themselves to be “hypnotised” by anyone, whereby their own will is “usurped”. This was not referring to trance-induction for esoteric pursuit, but rather in the everyday life, where marketing was just about to become such a powerful commercial tool.

And if you are uncertain what people truly value, the most powerful value of all, when it comes down to it, think about this Coca Cola does not sell a black fizzy beverage in cans and bottles, it sells “the real thing”. And if you are uncertain what sales pitch can never be argued, Nike does not try to suggest to people to buy a pair of trainers, it tells them to “just do it”. You cannot go wrong selling reality.

METAPHORS

Creating an Isomorphic Metaphor The use of story-telling and narrative devices allows us to bypass the conscious critical faculty and access the unconscious resources through empathy and identification. When we hear or watch a story unfold, when told well, we automatically identify with the protagonist and go on the same journey to a lesser or greater degree, dependent on the correspondence of the story to our own experience and imagination.[115] It is preferable to provide a client a metaphor that is as isomorphic - the ‘same shape’ as their experience. We can utilise common stories, fables and films, truisms and personal sayings, but these are less targeted than a metaphor crafted entirely for the client. There are also iconic and homomorphic metaphors; the first when a single emblem stands for the whole situation, and the second when one thing stands for many, or many things for one, such as a garden full of different plants representing a person.[116] Usually, we might look to create a metaphor within a few sessions, although this can also be done at speed with a meta-five. We might alternatively find ourselves or the client generating a metaphor in a natural manner as we progress with the sessions, in which case, this model can be applied as a template. This is called the Gordon Model, from David Gordon.[117] To construct an isomorphic metaphor, we take the situation which the client is presenting and break it down into several groups of components. We then match each of these individual components to their equivalency within a chosen metaphor. As an example, we might have a circus metaphor or a pirate ship, a zoo or a garden. The most viable metaphors are instantly recognisable to a client and have in themselves a complex of

components in relationship. A stick may be a simple symbol or metaphor, but is has fewer likely relationships with other objects, such as being picked up and dropped by a sad dog or being broken in half by an angry child - or perhaps being used by a happy child to chase a playful dog. Other scenarios for an isomorphic metaphor that I have heard from clients and utilised include a forest, cartoon series, ballroom dancing, an airport, a football team, and even a farm, amongst many others. The components we will identify in the actual situation (as reported and described by the client) and the metaphor scenario are:

The Actors are usually the people most involved in the situation, although sometimes the “actor” can be a bank, a project or some other entity that has agency in the situation. Once the actors have been identified, their relationships are established, in terms of supportive or otherwise, formal or informal, etc. This can include any statement of relationship from the client such as “we just don’t get on”. The significant challenges are then listed from the situation as presented, such as “anxiety” or more specifically, “loss of appetite”. This then leads to our desired outcome, which is usually the opposite, the solution, or the creative change of the challenge. We will also ourselves as the therapist identify a linking resource, strategy, or intervention within the metaphor, unless the client provides such themselves by careful prompting. This will then be delivered within hypnotherapy or simply as part of an exercise using a flipchart or sheet of paper with the client in conscious co-operation. In the example, we will consider a workplace situation that has caused a client to suffer from anxiety and in which they could not see any obvious solution. As a corporate client, they may wish a more “eyes-open” brainstorming or creative session, in which they are fully involved and does not require hypnosis. In this case, we would work with them to identify all components, starting with the breakdown of the real situation.

EXAMPLE

Having established these components within each category, which often leads to new insight when done with a client, we can then make their equivalent components within the scenario chosen for a metaphor, in this case, a circus. This is because the client might have off-handily referred to their workplace as “a real circus”.

Here, we see that whilst the client is female, her identification is with the Strong Man in the circus scenario, as he is seen as “bearing up all the weight”. The client might laugh whilst describing John (her boss) as a crowd of clowns, and muse whilst considering she sees her colleague Rachel as a trapeze artist, “keeping herself out of the ring, knowing she also has a safety net”. We can lightly encourage more information at this stage, such as whether the “Strong Man” ever needs a “Safety Net”, and under what circumstances he might

be better supported. In this, we are already teasing out new insights and potential interventions, resources, and alternative strategies.

We are now told that John, the crowd of clowns, is constantly “throwing custard pies” around, some of which hit the Strong Man in the face. Rachel the trapeze artist appears to be not doing her actual job - or demonstrating her skill - but rather, “helping” the Strong Man by putting weights on whilst he holds the barbells. Sometimes the Strong Man looks and sees that the Trapeze Artist is not even in the tent but is away training. Finally, the Clowns themselves keep tripping each other up, forcing the Strong Man to drop his weights on his toes, much to the amusement of the others. We are now in a position where we can make metaphor components for the challenges arising from the coping mechanisms, which we look to change.

The notion of “only fake pies” seems to make a greater deal of sense to the client when they state it. We might presume the unconscious has made an interesting connection between the loss of appetite being because the pies are fake in the metaphor, but this is mapping across to the “fake” nature of the distractions caused by John in the real world, as those distractions had been previously put into the metaphor as the custard pies. We now look at the desired outcome, and in this we would either write and deliver interventions or strategies in hypnosis, or as in this example case, work with the client to allow them to find their strategies and resources as they realise the metaphor:

We would tell the entire metaphor under hypnosis, allowing time for the client to process some - but not all - of the symbolism and the unconscious to make strategic connections. We would deliver the metaphor very slowly and can additionally use repetition, confusional language patterns and other devices to drop the intervention - the appearance of the ringmaster and his work - deeply into the mind. In this case, the client, Samantha, immediately realised that something - or rather, someone - was missing from the circus metaphor; a ringmaster. When she was considering how a “calmer sense of peace” would be in the circus, she saw a “ringmaster letting the audience know who each act was and what they would see”. She also realised that he would be in charge and keep time. The audience was also missing from her description of the circus, so, on prompting, she put the audience in as “energy”, seeing them laughing, cheering, being excited and engaged in the whole show. The solution to the metaphor, in the ringmaster, is quickly realised to be about time-keeping and boundaries. The ringmaster is in charge of not only the clowns and the trapeze artist, but also the whole show. He is responsible for ensuring the audience get value for money - and here, it is seen that “energy” will come from “timekeeping” in the real world. Whilst it might appear obvious in retrospect, the establishment of time-keeping as a primary issue within the workplace was not obvious to Samantha. She realised that if she casually said to John, “yes, I can listen to you but unfortunately it will mean I will not have time to finish this job by four, and that’s when I leave”, it would have a significant impact.

Surely enough, the client found that by highlighting timekeeping in the workplace, a number of things changed - not only did she herself almost immediately get back to better sleep and diet, and have more energy, so did her boss and colleague. This was particularly after Samantha had gently mused out-loud to Rachel in front of John, “yes, that’s right, you are taking a lot of time out of work at the moment for your training, aren’t you?” Another example of using this method to construct a metaphor came with a client who was having issues with their six-year old daughter who was suffering tantrums following a move of house. When the whole family, relationships and challenges were mapped to a “pirate ship”, the “ship” itself emerged as a missing component. When under hypnosis, the client was asked to talk to the ship, and the ship gave its name as “Veronica” - which was the name of the client’s mother. This led to a deeper understanding of a matriarchal pattern that was carrying the family from mother to daughter to granddaughter. Having looked at the construction of a powerful isomorphic metaphor, we will now consider an advanced version of creating a multiple embedded metaphor, for delivery in hypnotherapy.

The Multiple Embedded Metaphor The multiple embedded metaphor is one of my favoured techniques when mid-way through a series of sessions with a client. It allows the client and I to collate our previous work together in an elegant fashion, whilst further opening up the unconscious processes and resources towards the conclusions of the work. I sometimes call it the well of forgetfulness, as it builds the circular walls of a well down which we can both drop a single coin of positive resource and draw it all the way up. It is also a beautiful model for practice and development of hypnotic techniques, the construction of metaphors, chaining, language patterns and in structuring narrative. Moreover, it demands congruity and the present-ness of the therapist, modelling such for the client. I have also found it useful in training to provide an inspirational example of the power of listening, observation, and language patterns, as well as placing a boundary around the work at its conclusion. The method was developed by Steve and Carol Lankton and requires the therapist to have some prior practical experience of hypnotic language, induction, amplification, and the creation of isomorphic metaphors.[118] Ideally, some experience or prior training in story-telling or narrative construction will assist.[119] The method consists of a series of narratives, delivered in sequence, but broken in half, so that each one has a “cliff-hanger” or incompleteness to it. A story about a chicken trying to escape a farm might be broken at the point where “the chicken looked, and even though it had escaped the barn, there was a big metal fence all the way around the farm and -“.

There can be as many of these stages as required, each of which deepens the layers and overwhelms the conscious mind. The narratives are constructed to address resources and resolutions that are sufficient, reasonable and congruent to the client. The Lankton method follows these steps: 1. Listen to the problem as offered. 2. Guided by the six areas of desired outcomes, list the dramatic themes that are present in the current situation, and those that should be part of the desired outcome. 3. Construct simple metaphors that parallel those dramatic themes. 4. Design appropriate general outcomes. 5. Arrange the outcome to create suspense or mystery.[120] As the narratives are successively opened, we eventually reach a deeper stage where we can add confusional patterns to our language and then deliver truisms. I usually prefer to have at least nine truisms, concluding with one truism that is evidently basic and obvious to the situation. I find this final “depth charge” truism acts as a deep anchor for the whole narrative, particularly if it is one that simply would not be accepted as useful to the client because it is too obvious and simple, such as “You can do too much” or “It is time to let go”.[121] The conscious mind becomes even more confused that an obvious thing is set inside a morass of complexity, so it continues to keep pecking at it. We then rise back up out of this deep well of remembrance and forgetfulness, closing each open narrative in sequence as we provide metaphor closure with resources and solution states. I usually repeat back up my sequence of truisms which flags to the client that we are returning up through a sequence.

We also return up through the confusional phase, as this further buries the truisms and direct suggestions and prepares the way for the closing of each narrative above it. What Stephen Gilligan Said. NLP/Tradition. One of the most powerful hypnotic inductions I experienced during my own training was at a weekend seminar held by Stephen Gilligan, who had been a student of Milton H. Erickson. I cannot recall the induction, but I do recall vaguely thinking about animals going two-by-two into the ark and startling up to conscious attention whilst realising I was literally there in the scene of the ark and deep in trance. During a lunch-break, I had sat with Stephen at the edge of the stage and was telling him about my training. I think I was saying that I was coming to see that his work was offering a lot more emotional depth and embodiment than the dry linguistics of some of the other styles I was learning at the time. When people came back into the room, I was surprised by lunchtime being over, as I had not thought that much time had passed. I went to sit down and then also realised I could not recall what Stephen had told me at all. The last thing I remembered was that he had started to tell me some sort of rambling childhood story about a dog on a farm. And that is all I remember from that half-hour story. Something about an old dog, getting lost and finding its way home.

Induction During the induction phase, we can use our standard inductions or those already practised with the client. We may need to amplify the representational systems, making the feeling twice as deep, the thoughts and images ten times slower, etc. This ensures the stage is set for the imagination whilst listening to the narratives. Isomorphic Metaphors (Opening) We begin the first story in a relatively simple way without preamble. It can contain elements of a nested metaphor in itself and even a suggestion for the whole session: And as you continue to relax, I can tell you about the story I heard on a training session quite a long while ago, although it has stuck with me ever since. I was there with a friend whose sister had just had children and one of them had been learning to read - you know how that can be - and her friends had told her that the best book was a story called the Little Prince in which we meet a little prince who has several stories to tell. The first is the story of the wounded healer, in which … The story of the wounded healer can be a direct isomorphic metaphor for the client. If we had been working with the earlier client example of Samantha, we could have used the story of “the circus that was missing something”. We can also usefully use You/I switches at this upper level of the narrative, engaging the client and their unconscious field in different identifications and empathy: … in which as you know some of the ancient stories of heroes like Achilles, “I am the strongest hero”, he would say, “I am invincible”, you know the sorts of things people say… We break this isomorphic metaphor into half so that we can have a cliff-hanger, and leave it open as we begin to layer more

metaphors which will access the “affect protocol” or resources states we have listed and prepared: … and that wounded healer got to the bridge, but it was entirely broken down Or … and the lion tamer said, you know, we’re just missing one thing in this circus Having made this cliff-hanger, we then transition into our next metaphors, each of which will be offering a resource to the client to act as a foundation to the solution we will be introducing in the upper isomorphic metaphor. These are called “affect protocols”. Affect Protocol - entirely broken down, like an old car in a movie which isn’t expected to do too much because the character has not paid anything for it. Yet it has a character all of its own, even if it doesn’t always say it. That car could drive for miles on hardly any fuel at all, without ever complaining. And yet deep underneath the engine was a small hole which was slowly getting bigger until one day - on the sort of day that you wake up and think this is going to be such a good day, and you get breakfast and turn on the radio, like one of those old radios you might see at a junk store, wondering if it still works, and the man there says “yes, you can be sure of it, it is just as good as these new ones, and far more reliable - I am sure of that” and he gives it to you but on the way home And so on. In each of these narratives we are introducing ideas of worth, of value, of responsibility and duty, function and character, and also the

cost of running on empty or becoming obsolete. You might begin to imagine the client and their situation from these narratives. Before we get to close as many loops as we open and resolve these metaphoric challenges with resources, we will take a little time to deepen the state with amnesia suggestions - also a good opportunity to practice confusional methods. Amnesia Suggestions This is a section of this method I like to call ‘speaking gibberish’, and it further consolidates the notion in the client that this communication is not their everyday communication. I usually provide time confusions or overload patterns here, before getting to the bottom of this magical well: … and I don’t know about other people but I do know it is sometimes good to forget those things that were more difficult to remember than others when there’s time to simply remember what you might soon forget when you remember the more important things whether they were forgotten to remember once you forgot or you remembered that you had forgotten them … Or … because there’s always time tomorrow to think back to yesterday which would be today or yesterday depending on when you looked at it even when the day after tomorrow can be imagined now and then in a moment that memory of looking forward to that day is in the past but not even yet yesterday when you tomorrow might think of today remembering tomorrow but not yet … We can deepen the trance-like state at this point before we suddenly switch to direct truisms, which now alerts the client state to pay attention because it has been trying to make sense of gibberish, and now it is being given something that makes sense.

Direct Suggestions & Truisms At this stage, at the bottom of the well, we clearly state our truisms, saving the golden coin until last. I prefer to state at least 7 +/- 2, i.e., nine ideally, but at least five, plus the final truism. These can be cliches and should generally relate to the situation of the client or be very general; there purpose is not so much the content but their quality of direct statement before we drop the coin and make our real wish: … because the darkest hour is always before the dawn, And there is no need to cry over spilt milk, Because you could be barking up the wrong tree, When a stitch in time saves nine, Everybody has some sort of history, A car can go as fast as it needs despite a scratch on the paintwork, And you can read between the lines, To save a penny, save a pound, Because actions speak louder than words, When you can teach an old dog new tricks. I then usually work back upwards, slowly and clearly repeating every line of truism or idiom, starting by repeating the final line which is the gold coin I want dropped (and the wish retrieved) from the bottom of this well: When you can teach an old dog new tricks, Because actions speak louder than words,

To save a penny, save a pound … We then return to some confusional grammar, before we come back up a little to close the open loops of our affect protocols. Confusional Grammar At this stage we can either repeat the same language we used on the way down, or try something different, such as: … because the darkest hour is before the dawn and they remember how many times they woke in a dream to know what it was before the time came to have those things which some had not had before because they were not there either at the time or afterwards when it did not matter what was said or written because there was only something that came when it wanted to be seen above the other thing …[122] We then return to close the metaphor loops, adding more resources Metaphor Suggestions (Closing) But on the way home now, looking at that old radio, you wonder what else it might be good for, but you are very glad you have found it now, and already have the right place for it to go in your favourite room, or somewhere you can relax and listen to your favourite music or information about all the things you find interesting because the radio seems tuned into what you need to know, and yet so full of new ideas and stories of places you have not yet been but might want to go when you are ready … … because even a car with one little hole can be fixed more quickly than some people might think and still get to exactly where it is going because you know the roads that you have travelled upon for so long and far and don’t have to waste time going down dead ends because the car has been down all of

them a long time ago and now just gets on quietly to exactly where it needs to go in exactly the best way … Isomorphic Metaphor (Closing) and adding any general environment check statements, to ensure the change is holistic. … even if the bridge seems entirely broken down, it turned out that there was an older bridge right next to it, hidden until now, and the car seemed to know exactly where to take the healer and because it was now so old and yet light, it could cross that bridge safely and the prince was delighted to tell all the adventures of that future time with more to come in further books that delighted my friend’s sister’s daughter as she told me on that training day when I learnt about something called embedded metaphors, which is a fancy way of telling stories as I know you know now all … With specific generalisations of holistic change and context: … stories we can tell ourselves, but the most useful ones are those that teach us something positive about what is possible to change easily and safely in the future … Before we conclude with our outduction phase. Outduction Now we have closed the main metaphor and embedded a few generalised fail-safes, we can conduct an outduction to re-orientate the client back to the present moment in full awareness: … all the important things that we tell ourselves when we are young and then learn as we get older to be present with all that experience and knowledge, dead ends simply letting us know where we do not have to go so that we can go to exactly the right place from this room, in which you are sat now, gently

breathing, becoming aware now of your breathing when it is time to begin to listen again to my words with your conscious mind and only when you are ready to hold those things close you can open your eyes now. This method is a powerful and extremely elegant model of communication, which it is never too early to learn, I feel, even if we may only sketch out plans for a client and not actually use all of it, or even at all. It begins to re-orientate ourselves to new channels of communication and possibilities, much like the story of the chicken who stepped back from the fence only to fall down an open well; a well that fed from a stream deep underground which took the chicken all the way in a gentle rush of water, under the fence where it eventually opened out into a rich meadow under an endlessly open sky. THE END.

Rough Notes for a Multiple Embedded Metaphor Session.

Embodied Metaphors We can also present metaphors as teaching examples by embodying them. Erickson was a master of feigning ignorance to allow his clients to correct him, and he would then accept that correction as a valuable learning experience, which modelled for the client how they might also accept their mistakes. Sometimes a visual embodiment of a statement given as a metaphor will help communicate an issue more strongly than a verbal agreement, such as snapping your hand open or shut, slowly stretching an imaginary space out, etc. Sometimes you may find use in therapeutic props, whether they be background props such as a well-tended plant or props used to represent a situation, such as a box of coins. In asking a client to describe their role in a complex family dynamic by only using coins, a powerful metaphor can be elicited and developed. Sometimes the embodiment may have to be even more direct. How Best to Say This? Workplace Issue/Embodied Metaphor. I was working in a team on a project with an extremely fraught deadline, which had been shifted half-way through the project. The management had asked us to work late every day and expected us to work even later into the night. I had tried several times to suggest that this would be bad news for the project, and it was unreasonable and counterproductive, but I could not seem to communicate this to our general manager. He would come in to check on us every late afternoon, before going home himself, and looked to be building up to ask us to work even more hours. I suggested to the small team a slight variation in our communication, to which they agreed, as we were all out of options. The following day, the general manager came into the office as usual, and literally took a step backwards. As his eyes scanned the

office, we all (as planned) kept our nerve and kept working, without saying anything. He looked at me, and I continued to hold a deadpan silence. He turned on his heel and left the room. That day, he stayed until the end of the day, and we all packed up and also went home at the proper time to get some rest and continued to do so until we had finished the project. All that we had done was each brought a rolled-up sleeping bag into the office and placed it on our desks next to our computer screens. Sometimes, the embodiment has to be direct. Even if you do not wish to be as dramatic as the vignette, “How Best to Say This?” you might choose to see that as a metaphor in itself. One student to whom I relayed that story returned to her office and placed a huge calendar behind her desk, above her head, where she could not see it, but a colleague could - every time the colleague looked in her direction. This immediately stopped the colleague from asking repeatedly, as she had been doing, “do you know what day it is and how we are doing to that deadline?” Asking a client to repeat something you may have misheard allows them to repeat the sentence in a firmer manner. We can also mirror less-forcefully made statements to denote their importance, such as “I’m unsure?” The client can then use that space to reenforce the sentiment or open it up more for enquiry. We can also move chairs in the room during a session, to represent a shifting dynamic, or ask the client to stand or sit to represent changed states. Just like Driving. Confidence/Embodied Metaphor. One of my earliest clients was a woman who had lost her confidence in driving. I had at that time only really learnt and practised a form of direct and authoritative hypnotherapy unlike the approach that I would soon start to favour. So, I sat opposite her and began to use a straight-forward progressive relaxation method as an induction.

The client kept opening her eyes, despite my instruction to keep them closed, so I began to use Voigt’s Fractionation. As I was not sure how it was working, I began to move my chair slightly closer to her, hoping that the change of the location of my voice would also assist the deepening process. That became somewhat uncomfortable, so as I started to talk about metaphors for driving, and utilise her stated objective to be able to drive for her child who was about to start school, I began to shift my chair to one side. By the time we had finished, I was sat entirely to her left, both of us facing forwards - and the client was in a reasonably deep trance. I began to move her out of the trance-state and into normal waking consciousness, whilst consolidating the suggestions of enjoyment and value in driving easily and safely. When the client opened her eyes, she looked to see me before realising that I was now sat to her left. She blinked a few times, laughed, and then said, “Hey! It’s like I’m in the driving seat and you’re a passenger!” “I know”, I said, although it was not until she said it that I was conscious of what had happened entirely unconsciously.

Meta-Fives I was introduced to the concept of Meta-Fives by Doug O’Brien, who credited it to the late Dave R. Dobson. Dobson was a creative developer of hypnosis, whose book, Pain Alleviation (2009) is a testament to his style and workshops in this area of treatment. Interestingly, Dobson referred to hypnosis as “other than conscious communication”. Meta-Fives, or “cross-filing” is a simple yet elegant concept; it refers to matching aspects of a clients experience to any present challenge or situation in order to apply natural resource states. Whilst the conscious mind is unable to make such mappings - or rarely appears to do so - the unconscious process is willingly capable of doing so. A simple example might be when we tell someone “it’s like when you …” and recount an experience that turned out better that time, with the intent of suggesting that this could happen with the current experience: I know you’re nervous about the test, but you’ve aced all the others.

Yeah, you always say that before knocking your performance out of the park.

Remember when we abseiled? This is a lot easier than that.

In hypnosis, we elicit, apply and amplify such natural intent and language, marshalling all the unconscious forces in service of the mapping. This is a “meta-five” rather than a “meta-phore (four)” in that it is using the clients own experience rather than a story or other symbolic narrative. In effect, of course, even our own experiences are stored in a narrative format, much the same way as even fictional stories in our mind.[123] EXERCISE One exercise for groups in doing this is to pair up and tell each other a story from a film or book that you have enjoyed or think about a lot. Then tell each other a small challenge that you face in life. Allow the other person to apply something in the story you have told to the challenge: That’s interesting that you have told me your current challenge is about your new relationship, and that you now have a challenging relationship with your new step-daughter. It reminds me of that film we were talking about, Lethal Weapon. Isn’t that the one where they basically invented the buddy cop genre?[124] I remember watching it, it was Mel Gibson and Danny Glover - which one would you be, and which one is your step-daughter? During the elicitation phase of any client encounter, it is useful to notice any narratives which may be useful in a later meta-five. These can be as minor as the fact that the client managed to find a parking space, or as major as the client successfully organised a milliondollar business deal. The most effective stories from the client are the ones they tell either off-hand or with a significant state-change and identity shift: I remember when I used to run a lot - I even did the London Marathon.

The proudest moment of my life, it was, becoming a grandmother.

It took me a lot of time to get the courage to come to this session. In each of these is a resource state, even if the accomplishment (becoming a grandmother) did not ‘belong’ to the client. In that case, there will be value placed on the role of a grandmother and all the subsequent resources the client will muster to fulfil that role. The vignette, “No-One Ever Put Me Down” is an example of how powerful a meta-five can be when applied, even to an otherwise intractable addiction. In NLP Magick, even the asides and apparently non-related discussions are accepted as communication to be incorporated and utilised. Often, as in a dream, the unconscious will be quite cheerfully and clearly communicating, even if the conscious mind finds no intelligible relevance. No-one Ever Put Me Down. Smoking Cessation/Incorporation and Utilisation. A hard-bitten railway track loader came to see me to quit smoking. His children had saved up for him and given him the money for one session, which is all they could afford, but they wanted him to quit for his health. He paid with a large bag of loose change. The man worked all day on the railway tracks and often with teams of men from around the country. He told me that he had sometimes given up but then - because he was surrounded by smokers - he was often offered a cigarette and found it difficult to refuse. I asked him about his life and if there was anything that surprised people about him. I was here after something unique to him, and perhaps unknown to those in whose company he kept. He told me

that he had been a street fighter in one of the local coastal towns. I looked exaggeratedly surprised and said pointedly, “yes, that is very unique.” I then asked him in an off-hand tone, “Were you any good?”. He looked at me, leant forward aggressively, unconsciously bunching his fists together and said, “Listen mate, no-one ever put me down”. Under light relaxation I talked to him about giving up smoking and used lots of obvious railway metaphors. I made it very apparent that I was deliberately talking his language. I was after a state in which he was pleased I was not talking down to him, but also obvious I was perhaps talking down to him. I used phrases such as “giving up smoking and keeping on track”, “laying down a good foundation for health”, and “change coming fast down the rails”. After twenty minutes of this language, I then tuned to talk about the places where he was being offered a cigarette. Once deep into those evocations, I leant forward to the same location he had originally leant when answering the question about his streetfighting. I lowered my voice and said, “Of course there are many people who will offer you a cigarette. They like to see you smoke with them. But don’t forget mate -”, and here I adopted his same original pose, with clenched fists and tonality, “no-one ever put you down”. At that point he dropped into a deeper level of trance and I continued with the railway metaphors, such as staying away from a smoke in little bursts, “station to the next station”. At the conclusion of the session, he appeared confident and thanked me for the assistance. Over the following two years he kindly sent me several clients, and no-one ever put him down.

MODELLING

Modelling Modelling is the heart of NLP. As we saw in our introduction, NLP is derived from modelling language and non-verbal communication and has at its core a system of models and applications derived from modelling excellence. To return to the heart of NLP is to be able to drive back up the skills and re-apply them to other patterns of excellence, creating your own models and applications. The Master Practitioner work of NLP training - and beyond - is in great part usually dedicated to modelling. In this present book we will consider the basic building blocks of modelling in four different ways. We will then look at the process of modelling itself, also looking at building our own templates and methods of observation and uptake. We will then apply our modelling to an exemplar of excellence. A model is simply that; a model of the way we represent and process something in our mind. This is usually unconscious and certainly arguable as to whether it even exists until we actually model it. Be that as it may, it serves some purpose for reprogramming the way we go about our thinking, language and behavior. Everything we do can be modelled, whether it be a phobia or panic attack, or the way in which we organize a party or have some ability to recall the names of people we have met. The way in which we generate a state such as nostalgia or confidence can be modelled, and then taught to others - to some extent. It has been said that if modelling truly worked, then we could all model every genius and become such ourselves. If this were true, then it would no doubt be so, however there are limits to how applicable a model can be to another person. Also, we can only ever

model part of a map, not the entire map. Our best work with models is to assist another person - or ourselves - become better aware of how we process our experience, and to change it where it is unwanted, or improve it where it is desired. An NLP model in this sense may look something like this:

Vi → Ke ☐ Ai → Vi That might look a bit of an abstract and mathematical formula, but in this case, it is actually a VAKOG model of how someone remembers names. When this person meets someone and are given their name, they immediately make an internal visual representation (Vi) first, of the face and height of the person. They then have an external feeling (Ke) about it, in that they briefly move their thumb and first finger together on their right hand in a small rubbing motion whilst nodding slightly. This continues briefly until they then hear that person’s name said inside their mind in their own voice (Ai). This continues until they suddenly get a picture inside their mind (Vi) and see themselves meeting that person again and greeting them in the future. The thumb and finger motion stops at that point. When they meet a person, they have already met and want to recall their name, they unconsciously trigger the pattern by again pressing their thumb to their finger. Whilst this all happens within a second or two, it can be modelled and tested. The person might have some delay in recalling someone’s name, for example, if they are asked to hold both their hands by their sides. Modelling is not an exact science; however, it is a useful behavior to increase rapport, elicit patterns and work towards changing those patterns. The earlier “Life Swap” method is my personal version of

modelling without necessarily going into the exact coding of the model. The Woman who Remembered the Day Before. Memory/Modelling. “I have this weird thing,” is one of the sentences that is most of interest to NLP Master Practitioners who are modelling excellent behaviour. Sometimes the ‘excellence’ shows in a unique gift that is marked as ‘weird’. Sometimes this gift is wanted, sometimes it appears to the recipient as a curse. In this case, the gift was a mixed blessing. The friend who uttered this magical phrase continued, “yes, it drives my boyfriend crazy. I can remember the day before, and everything we were doing, and then the day before that. I can recall which day we were doing anything, and the day before it, and the day after it. He can’t get away with forgetting anything”. I wondered how it was that someone could represent time in such a useful way. Following some basic eye-cue elicitation, time/space elicitation (through language predicates) and a little bit of metaphor work, it took just less than five minutes to elicit a rather simple yet elegantly powerful – cherry-blossom level – model. The friend simply had one event in every day that acted in the manner of a link in a chain, and the chain was composed of closed links each of which were filled with the events of that day. So, for example, if yesterday she had been shopping for groceries and had gone to the cinema in the evening, she was using the buying of a specific product on that day as the “chain link”. That product immediately linked her to the day before when she was writing a report up, amongst all the other things of that day. The report-writing was immediately linked to an orange drink she had drunk as part of her everyday activities of the day before, and so on. All the friend needed to do was simply remember the day before.

Representing a Model In representing a model, we key it to the representational system(s) used, in their order and with arrows to note if they are causally linked or circular, such as a looped test process. I usually draw an arrow straight out of the centre of a loop to denote the exit strategy. We use the keys VAKOG and can further refine these by noting: e/iexternal/internal.

a/danalogue/digital.

r/crecalled/constructed.

a/dassociated/dissociated. So, a model for someone who is good at preparing themselves for a stage presentation might be:

Ae→ Ki/d → Vr ☐ A e/d They always use an external auditory cue, which in this case is their name being introduced to an audience. They then get an internal feeling which immediately “switches on”, and they start to recall in a rush all of their previous successful presentations. They do this until they hear (internally) the applause on finishing all those

presentations, which merges into the applause welcoming them onto stage for the present presentation. Interestingly, the exit trigger from the loop of past recall is disassociated; the person hears it as if they are stood watching the whole presentation, including themselves. This likely serves to provide an inoculation against nerves, as they probably have to associate themselves in any pattern to feel nervous. Once we have modelled this, we can teach it to others who might suffer from stage fight. If, however, that person had already experienced stage fright, we could model how they enter that state, and change or break it. T.O.T.E. A good concept of relevance to modelling is that abbreviated to T.O.T.E. (Miller, Gallanter & Pribram, 1960). This is an acronym for the following elements of a process: Test

Operate

Test

Exit It can be considered that the first identified step in a process is also a Trigger, i.e., the first test which triggers the activity which is modelled by this process. This trigger may be the exit from an unconscious monitoring process in itself, or an external trigger such as a starting gun.

It should also be noted that the concept of chunking can usefully be applied here; many TOTES have nested-TOTES, sub-skills or sub-loops, each of which can be considered a chunk level. Accurately modelling a skill or resource-state requires recognition and calibration of these chunk levels. We saw TOTE in our example of a model which described the skill someone had to remember people’s names. They triggered the skill with an external name being presented to them, then operated the pattern until they could test it by having a future image arise, at which point, their physical movement stopped, and they could exit the strategy. Now we can see how a model for treating a phobia can be generated; it is simply a reversal or re-framing of the general model in which we generate a phobia. This is also why modelling is a good skill to acquire for a master practitioner, in that you can then derive a unique model for any client, rather than rely on the more generalized patterns. If we worked with a client to discern their exact model for their particular phobia, we might find it had an auditory-internal trigger, for example. A certain sound they heard, like a whining engine spinning up, which then led to the kinesthetic-external feelings usually associated with a phobia, such as perspiration or rapid breathing. In working with that client, we could then introduce either in hypnosis or whilst using the cinema technique, a new sound at that point or something they could say to themselves instead of that noise. We might encourage them to enter a perfect sense of peaceful and utter silence during the cinema technique when they floated back out to see the pre-scene each time. The ability to signal that change is possible - through changing the internal representation of it - is sometimes enough of a generalized example to the unconscious that it can begin to process any other desired change.

Quick Modelling When conducting the “life swap” or “day in the life of” exercise we can add a layer of modelling when we feel comfortable with the concept. As we elicit the “exact way” in which a person might go through their state of weariness, self-deriding or any negative behavior, we can ask questions to elicit their model: Is there anything else that happens before that?

What happens next?

Is that a picture or a sound?

Whereabouts is that sensation - on the inside or outside somewhere?

Does that carry on or repeat?

Does that happen just the one time?

What was the last thing that happens before you stop feeling that?

In doing this, we can jot down a VAKOG model of our representational systems, particularly noting loops, entrance and exit triggers, and any notable modalities. We have seen such a model for presentation confidence and there is an endless range of experience that can be modelled in this manner. Is That What I Do? Workplace/Modelling. I was in the exit interview for the friendly company I was leaving to pursue a planned career in hypnotherapy and NLP teaching. My boss was conducting the informal interview, and as we wrapped up, he had one final thing to say. He asked me, “now we’re all done, with your NLP and all that, I wondered if you had noticed anything about how I work that you’d be happy to share with me - now I’m no longer your boss?” I considered it for a moment and then replied: “Yes, from the very first interview we had before I started here, I noticed that you are a great diplomat. You always bring people together and get the best out of them whilst resolving any conflicts. I wondered how you managed to do that, so over the last couple of years I modelled it, and the main thing that you do unconsciously is tilt your head from side to side. Modelling that a bit further, I figured that you are hearing both sides of an argument in your head and playing them out, in an auditory representation. You place the argument you unconsciously or consciously favour to your left and up a little, and the one that you do not so much favour to your right and a bit further down”. “You then put your hand briefly on the back of your head and that is when you evoke your own voice, hearing what you are saying to resolve the voices in your head. Your hand and head go more to the side that feels like it has the better response to your single voice, whether you initially heard it as better or not”. “You then say that that version out loud, with your head tilted to whichever side had the better argument, acknowledging it. That lets people know you have listened, valued both sides of the discussion, but are still coming to a considered decision on one side or another”.

He laughed, exclaimed, and then said, “That’s probably right, I wonder if that is what I do?” as he tilted his head to one side. I laughed back, pointed it out, and his hand unconsciously went to the back of his head as he mused, “yeah, my gosh. That’s fascinating. Well, good luck with all the NLP in the future”. Fix, Break or Optimize? Once we have elicited a model, we can decide whether we need to add a ‘missing’ element, re-arrange it somewhat, or make it impossible to repeat in the same way so the client cannot return to an unwanted pattern. In effect, this is part-explanation of the approach of incorporation and utilization, in which, through various means, we are modelling the client process and changing it through our precise communication, i.e. hypnosis. To fix a broken model, we can run the client through their own process, but add a missing link, usually an exit trigger. We can do this under hypnosis: … and as those feelings feel as if they are swirling around like a washing machine, going round and round, I want you to wait and listen for that slight click, barely heard under the swirling, which signals the end of the spin, and then that feeling of waiting for the door of the washing machine to unlock, which takes a moment, doesn’t it, they do that for safety, of course, so that you do not open the door too quickly, but when you are ready now to take that clean washing out, only putting in what is right to put in for you … Here we have added an auditory/internal/digital exit trigger to an overwhelming kinesthetic and literally cyclic (analogue) process. We have also re-modelled the feeling of being overwhelmed with a metaphor that the client has provided, when they might have said, “and I just stare at the washing machine all day”. And so as not to

waste a metaphor, we have added a suggestion that they will “only put in what is right to put in”.[125] To break a model, we can add or make difficult an existing step in the strategy. If we think back to the person who was good at recalling names, it might seem strange, but if you asked them to keep their hands open when being introduced to a new name, they might not be able to recall it as well as other names. If the client has an analogue step of a model we want to break, we can reverse the direction of that component. If, for example, when nail biting, their model included an internal feeling that grew in discomfort until they “couldn’t stand it anymore”, which starts them biting their nails, then we might break it like so: … and that feeling, when that feeling starts, you can take a deep breath in, that’s right, taking that breath in, and then breath that feeling out so you can see it, holding it there with each breath in and out, waiting until it vanishes like mist in the light, and if it starts again, inside, that feeling now, you know you can take another breath, that’s right, breathing out now that feeling where it begins to fade again in front of your very eyes … Here we have taken an internal/analogue kinesthetic component of the model of the habit and added a new stage whereby they map it to another kinesthetic process - breathing - and then that triggers a new step which is visual and external. I might choose to leave it as an analogue process, “until it vanishes like mist” rather than switch it to digital, “when it immediately vanishes as if it was never there”. As we never waste a useful state, the analogue process, which was proving so powerful in the habitual pattern, we can use in the fixed version.[126] The student will now be able to see how clean language or the Disney model were developed, amongst many others, and perhaps go on to discover your own models of excellence.

We will now outline several building blocks that you can utilise when building models, depending on the situation. Counting Sheets. CBT/OCD. I was at a hospital training two therapists whose background was in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. We had been experiencing difficulties in the first day of the weekend for some reason we could not fathom. The methods and ‘approach’ I was trying to communicate did not seem to be fitting their situations or application at all. I seemed to be missing something from them, and they from me, as if we were at a weird angle to each other. In recognising this, towards the end of the first day, we sat down, reframed the whole weekend, and we agreed that on the following day, we would try and get to the bottom of the difficulty. We agreed that I would re-jig the workshop to present to them three methods the following morning; a method which I felt was “vanilla” and perhaps more suitable to their requirements as I understood them, a method which was likely to be a “bit bonkers” and totally outside of their likely application of it, and a method “somewhere in the middle”. In doing so, we could then triangulate our experience and spend the final afternoon better aligned with methods I would then choose according to our calibration. We would also start in the morning by them showing me how they would go about an issue working with CBT. In the morning, I presented them a case I had worked with previously and acted as the client. I presented as a client who was obsessed with counting. Everything had to be counts of eight. So, if I was vacuuming the carpet, I had to push the vacuum cleaner backwards and forwards in sets of eight; if I was stacking laundry, I had to place them in stacks of eight, etc. They took me through a condensed version of how they would elicit behaviour and mark it down on a template they used, marking aspects of my behaviour in terms of 1-10 scale of difficulty, impact, control, etc. This was useful, as we eventually agreed on a further day of training because we worked out a better way of ‘importing’

NLP and hypnotherapy methods into the CBT framework by which they themselves were measured. Basically, we would concentrate on relaxation methods and language patterns within the CBT elicitation phase, rather than try and overlay any other model or grander scheme. We even began to joke by repeating a mantra, “I’m wondering [NLP eyebrow wiggling] on a scale of 1-10 [CBT template], how this is going?” or “on a scale of 1-10, how is your sandwich?” In the re-enactment of the OCD client the therapist had been writing notes down and ‘mapping’ the issue for me as the client, on a large flip-chart. I asked her if that was how she ran an initial session, and she said it was so. We then moved to finish the session re-enactment and the therapist ripped off the sheet of the ‘map’ and gave it to me. I asked her if that is what she would usually do, and again, she confirmed she would most often give the client the working sheet. She then asked me what I was doing. I looked down and saw my hands were busy turning over the sheet, folding it in half, then in half again - as I realised that I was going to do this exactly eight times. “I think I am folding your solution into my problem”, I replied. Basic Building Blocks S.C.O.R.E. The S.C.O.R.E. model (Dilts & Epstein, 1987, 1991) is utilised to structure a problem – that is to say, the gap between the present state and the outcome state. This outcome state should have already been framed through the “positive outcome frame” introduced during the Practitioner course. SCORE is an acronym for the following elements: Symptoms

Causes

Outcome

Resources

Effects Symptoms These are the observable characteristics of knowing that you are not in a desired state or occur when you are attempting to move to a desired state. Not all symptoms may be useful; some may be simply due to an incorrect framing of the problem state and ill-formed strategies to move from that state. If the problem state is “Car stuck in mud” and the outcome state is “Getting back on road” then a symptom is not “mud spraying in air when wheels go round,” which is a symptom of an ill-judged attempt to accelerate the car out of the stuck state! A symptom is “car not moving” or “car not on road” from which the first obvious strategy is “move the car back to the road”. Causes It is often stated that we need to know the cause to effectively resolve the situation, but it may be that - in some cases - we will not know or be able to know the cause or define the significant or first cause in a complex situation. Similarly, in individual change-work, we can sometimes work content-free and address how the problem arises without knowing the cause, or more accurately-stated, the client’s believed cause.

The client’s stated cause may be entirely inaccurate and misleading other than to indicate their own ill-formed belief structure. Where we see the cause(s) will influence our search for solutions, particularly in an away-from meta-model (either individual or corporate). That is to say, if the company generally moves-away from problems (as against moving-to solutions) and sees the cause of a problem as a particular event, the tendency will be to put the event into the past, lessen its importance and “just move on” without taking any opportunity to see in the causes any opportunities for learning or growth. Outcome The outcome should be seen as a series of observable steps, whereas the effect is the overall gain from the desired state, as we will see later. The outcome(s) should be of the well-formed category; “I’ll know it when I see it” through the positive outcome frame. The outcome(s) will be chunked according to the issue and the participants, but it can often be useful to chunk up and down a few levels of comfort to get the deepest outcome path (see chunking in Practitioner course material). Effect The Effect is the overall impact at a top-level because of applying the resources to the issue – is the effect a “long-term future for the company” or “a happier life” for example? This may be composed of the outcome chunks of “lower costs, more profit, less staff turnover,” and “going out more, having more friends, having a more fulfilling job.” SCORE and the Disney Creative Model SCORE can be run the Disney Creative Model, as already covered in this book. By adopting the physiology of the dreamer, realist and evaluator/critic, for each element of SCORE, a fuller picture can be realised.

A Model of Wisdom It is also possible to model abstract or complex states such as creativity - as we have seen with the Disney model - or even, wisdom. In one workshop, several students modelled the process of wisdom by placing themselves in states when they had felt most “wise” or had made a “wise” decision. They then amplified the states, and modelled how each had entered the state, maintained it, and knew when the state was complete. There was a surprising uniformity in response, and the state of Wisdom was:

Ai → Ke/r → Vr This model shows an auditory internal trigger, which is when a person asks themselves, “what is the wise choice?” in a situation. They then feel a physical reaction to how other people have looked when they remember a situation in the past when they have acted wisely or seen someone do so. That is, they recall a real scene of wisdom, see other people reacting to it, and then feel what they felt at that time, seeing the response of others. It is that step that adds the “wisdom”, that is, to be able to go outside of oneself, call on the perspective of others, and really feel it. There is then a visual recall of how that wisdom was dispensed, which immediately triggers - with no other step - an action or behavior on their part. Other NLP approaches of relevance to Modelling There are many other aspects of NLP which are related to modelling, in that NLP grew out of the modelling activity of Grinder and Bandler! These are mainly, but not completely: Perceptual Positions

Implicit & Explicit Modelling (Conscious/Unconscious, etc.)

Associated and Disassociated States Stick Figures. Creativity/Modelling. I was taking a group of children to the cinema and the thirteenyear-old in the passenger seat was telling me about school. He was telling me that he found it easy to write essays and stories in the “first person” but couldn’t do the “other one.” That is the magic sentence - that you can do one side of something but not the other - when it comes to reframing. I asked him to tell me a story in the “first person”. As he did so he closed his eyes and waggled his fingers a bit. His story went something like, “I am going on an adventure with a group of people and we have set off down a big road into a forest…” To elicit the issue, I then asked him to repeat the first few sentences of the story replacing “I” with “he” or “they”. He looked at me and said, “That’s the one I can’t do,” whilst keeping his eyes open. I asked him to repeat the one he could do and then enquired, “What did you see with your eyes closed in the story?” He said, “Well, I just make stick figures of what I was doing.” Interestingly, he could see himself as one of the stick figures, externalised, even though he used this second-person representation in his first-person description. I asked him to close his eyes, first make stick figures and then tell me what “he” and “they” were doing. He did so fluently, saying, “He is going on an adventure with a group of people and as they enter a forest, they see a big road ahead…”. He did this whilst wiggling his fingers, which appeared to be marching along with his internalised stick figures. He opened his eyes in shock as if somebody else was talking through him. They were.

For example, a ‘motivation’ strategy might be elicited and described as:

Ve/a/c ☐Ki/d ☐ Ai = Ke “I see myself getting closer to a line inside my head, and as soon as I cross it, I get like this feeling in my shoulders like leaningforwards to go do something. As soon as I get that feeling I say to myself, ‘OK, time to go,’ and just start doing the job in hand. Doesn’t everyone do that?” Eliciting a Strategy & 1:1 Change-Work This method is also most appropriate for unwanted strategies – the strategies by which someone depresses themselves, makes themselves tense, worries about things, does anxiety, and so forth. In eliciting these strategies, we make conscious an unconscious or habitual activity, and to some extent disassociate the client from the activity. Also, by codifying the strategy, it allows us to be precise in our intervention, by ‘breaking’ a step in a strategy (by modifying it so it cannot be replicated in the old model), ‘inserting’ a new step which leaves the strategy hanging without result, removing a step, ‘installing’ a new strategy which replaces the old one, or even reframing the existing strategy to a new positive goal.[127]

CLEAN LANGUAGE

The Nine Basic Clean Questions A system of working with the metaphors offered by another has been modelled by Lawley & Tomkins, based on the work of the late David Grove. This system is known as Clean Language and has been introduced into the work of many NLP Practitioners and Coaches. The language pattern is known as ‘clean’ as it attempts to not pollute the client’s representation of the world with any mind-reading from the practitioner. It therefore inserts the words, descriptions, metaphors, process statements, etc., of the client into a framework of leading questions, intended to develop the metaphor into a more useful state. When Triangle Is. Clean Language/Natural Enlightenment. I was attending a Clean Language workshop in London and on the first day working with two other students in a practise exercise to develop metaphors. In turn, one student would act as facilitator, another as client, and a third as observer. I was being a client, and my facilitator was talking me through a sequence of Clean questions, such as “-and is there anything else about brick wall?” We had earlier in the day been asked to draw some illustration of our first understanding of Clean Language. Mine was a rather alchemical metaphor of a caduceus wand and an alchemical crucible. Now in the practice exercise, I do not recall the exact sequence, but I had gone down a route of esoteric symbolism, led by the wonderful facilitation of my fellow student. Then, she paused for a moment, looked down her sheet of questions, and hesitatingly prompted me again, using my own metaphors and symbols with: “And Triangle? What happens to Triangle when Circle is not?”

As soon as she asked that question, my whole mind vanished, and I was suddenly left in a perfect empty space of utter enlightenment. My pupils widened, my face went blank, and tears welled in my eyes. I could not say anything nor describe what was happening. Eventually, as the state unfortunately passed all too quickly, I managed to say, “Triangle is All” as if it explained the ultimate mystery of the universe. I thanked my fellow student and she said that she had always wanted to be a great guru. I was also able to state on the feedback form for the weekend that the course had provided me with a good range of beverages and the secret of time, space and the universe. This process often opens creative insights into the problem state, although in practice it is not suited to every client nor at all times. In our NLP Magick terminology, we must ‘cherry blossom’ our delivery of these patterns! I have found these most useful used briefly to explore a metaphor offered by another whilst also eliciting the spatial location and modalities of the experience. These can then be utilised later when talking to the client about that state. An example follows the lists of basic clean questions here: Developing (Chunking up/down/across) 1.

And is there anything else about [client’s words]?

2.

And what kind of [client’s words] is that [client’s words]?

3.

And that’s [client’s words] like what?

Spatial (Anchoring)

4.

And where is [client’s words]?

5.

And whereabouts [client’s words]?

Moving Time (Timelines) 1.

And then what happens?

2.

And what happens next?

3.

And what happens just before [client’s words]?

4.

And where could [client’s words] come from?[128]

I have added the categories in terms of chunking, anchoring and time-lining as a suggested comparison to certain common elements of NLP. An example of clean language, briefly follows: Client (C): Well, I get so far with my work and then, it’s just like this barrier comes up – and Practitioner (P): And what kind of “barrier” is that “barrier”? C: Well, it’s a big one. P: And where is that “big one”? C: Errr … I guess it’s right ahead of me.

P: And whereabouts “right ahead”? C: It comes up smack in my face, really. P: And what happens just before “it comes up smack in my face”? C: (Long Pause) I think I just get a tired feeling, like everything seems an effort – sort of foggy – P: And where could “foggy” come from? C: It comes from – oh – it comes from me thinking I shouldn’t be working late when I’ve got other things that I want to do …that’s weird, it’s like the fog just lifted … dunno where the barrier went!

Clean Language and Stress Introduction Stress is not really a thing in itself, although we often wish it was, then we could locate it and move it somewhere else. When we feel stress in our minds, we represent it as a thing, which allows us to talk about it – “the stress is killing me”, “the deadline is giving me stress” and “I can’t take the stress” all make it sound as if the stress is simply one thing, not a complex process happening over time. We can take advantage of this natural process of representation with clean language – a method devised by James Lawley and Penny Tompkins from the pioneering work of the late David Grove. This uses the metaphors in language to achieve remarkable change. The Method In pairs, when thinking about “the stress”, “the panic”, “the anxiety” or even “the fear of failure” allow one person to do so whilst the other will facilitate the “clean” questions. The partner asking the clean questions will ask first (or if doing this by yourself, you can locate the answer yourself): The stress, that’s like what? When the other partner has answered, for example, “it’s like a big knot in my stomach”: The questioning partner reflects the answer and then develops it: “So, it’s like a big knot in your stomach … and is there anything else about this big knot in your stomach?” To which the answer might be “Well, I guess it feels like it’s going to explode” The questioning partner then reflects this and reframes it: “So, you guess it feels like it’s going to explode. And what can you do also to be like explode?” And see where this answer takes you. You can also use other questions to explore the state, such as: And what happens to stress when explode?

And what happens before? To conclude your clean questions, you might ask the person to draw a map now of their answers, metaphors, images, and relationships between them. This provides further material and possible insight into the specific nature of the anxiety. Summary The map of metaphors and symbols that clean language questions can elicit can also be used in relaxation techniques and contemplation exercises. You can also work within the metaphor description to reveal solutions to the state, for example, you might suddenly find yourself asking a nonsensical question such as “and when steam, what happens to blue?” to which the response might be “it turns white” which whilst equally symbolic, might reveal an unconscious new pattern for the person to adopt, even if they do not realize what it means!

CREATIVE THINKING

A Further Tool for Creative Thinking NLP Magick takes its inspiration from several sources outside of NLP, including those fields of study that some might consider esoteric or surreal. I provide here one of the simple tools I have found most useful and practical in application to creative thinking. Po! Thinking Po!... was invented by the psychologist Edward de Bono. It is intended to denote a kind of thinking that goes beyond the Aristotelian true/false game... Po! also has some amusing and entertaining functions of its own. For instance, where linear Aristotelian logic works with familiar associations or generalizations (called "laws of thought," of course, by those who have made Aristotle their Idol), Po! thinking ... proceeds laterally into the unfamiliar and the deliberately bizarre, almost in the manner of Freudian fee-association. Any concept can be attached to [for example] "geometry" just by placing the symbol Po! in between. Thus, one might consider geometry Po! Charlie Chaplin, geometry Po! sexual desire, geometry Po! Chinese painting, etc.[129] The provocative approach is one suited to some aspects of NLP Magick, but in general practice it is not one best imparted in text.[130] A small starter is to consider the practice of Po! thinking, advocated by Edward de Bono. As Robert Anton Wilson writes in the quite above, Po! is a form of lateral thinking. The basic premise is to have a sound which provokes us away from yes/no, assumption, authority, as-is thinking and towards creative movement. Whilst the initial response to a provocative challenge or thought may be surreal, impractical, or ridiculous, the idea is to also give the excuse for a non-judgemental

state, which can then free up further creative - and more applicable, contextual, and creative - solutions. We can start with simply selecting a random noun from a dictionary and applying it to some current concern or thought, with Po! acting as a non-linking sound-force; [thing] po! [thing]. We can repeat this several times, so for example, if I am thinking about advising someone on a promotional campaign they are running on Kickstarter, I might go: Kickstarter po! Band.

Kickstarter po! Butterfly.

Kickstarter po! Cocoa.

Kickstarter po! Orchid. We might immediately respond to any of these random words as making more or less sense or relevancy than any other, but we must go beyond that assessment. These po’s! are to move on our thinking somewhere else, not to make sense. Kickstarter po! Band This po! makes me immediately see a rock band promoting or sponsoring the product, so is almost a good and practical idea, even though it was chosen at random. However, thinking in terms of movement of ideas, I then start to think what band would fit the product, which then makes me consider that the product is very visual, and I know a musician who might be able to offer a soundtrack for the campaign. Po!

Kickstarter po! Butterfly Butterflies make me think of glass conservatories, and of the stages that a butterfly goes through. Perhaps the campaign should have more defined stages, from chrysalis to beautiful butterfly. I think of how a butterfly is attracted to certain plants and begin to wonder whether the Kickstarter should target only certain flowers audiences - rather than try and get them all into the same conservatory at the same time. Kickstarter po! Cocoa This is a strange one - I make no immediate connection, but that is the point. Cocoa makes me think of hot chocolate drinks, so perhaps a beverage should be given away with the product? Po! Perhaps rather a photograph of the product with a beverage? Po! A campaign that asks, “what would you be drinking with your … [product name]”? Po! How about selling the product based on how it makes you feel comforted and relaxed rather than the original pitch? Po! Kickstarter po! Orchid Another po! that makes no initial sense, but I do know that orchids can be difficult to grow? How does one succeed in growing an Orchid? Po! South or East facing windows? Po! Getting a mature orchid first? Po! Ha! I know several ‘mature’ Kickstarters that could perhaps collaborate to mutual growth. Orchids apparently can grow in air, and it is best not to water-log them, so perhaps this product should also be promoted for its aspirational nature, its spiritual nature, not just merely as a thing. We will now begin to conclude this book with some of the considerations of particular relevance to our professional practice, with a selection of templates that may assist the new practitioner to gather their observations and review their sessions.

PROFESSIONAL PRACTICE

Committee of Advertising Practice Code The practitioner is advised to research all the relevant codes of practice and legal obligations for their particular business and location. The following ailments, for example, are those which fall within the scope of the UK CAP guidance for Psychosomatic ailments which may be expected to be treated by Hypnotherapy[131] where claims would be also be substantiated under the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) on the basis of the available scientific knowledge: Anxiety Bedwetting Compulsions Concentration Confidence Diet – trouble sticking to Eczema – Stress Related Emotional Problems Enuresis (Bedwetting) Frigidity Grief Guilt Headaches Jumpy Lethargy Libido – Low Muscle Tension Nailbiting Fears Feeling down or Feeling Blue Relax – Inability to

Sexual Counselling Skin Problems – Stress Related Sleep – Trouble getting to Sleeplessness – Intermittent Smoking Snoring Stammering Stress Tension Obsession Pre-Menstrual Tension Pre-Menstrual Syndrome Panic Attack Phobias Relationship Problems The Issues with Reception. Professional Practice. In terms of working as a hypnotherapist, it may often be difficult to locate suitable clinical offices in which to conduct business. If you work within a non-clinical group, such as a beauty treatment business or similar services, ensure that the reception staff have relevant induction. In one group I worked, I had failed to do this, and found reception staff chatting amiably with clients, offering home-spun advice, which veered into pre-treatment. On one occasion, I unfortunately had a new client arrive in a very drunken state, and so early to their appointment I had not yet arrived at the building. Lacking any advice on dealing with this situation, the receptionist had sent them over “to go wait in the café” opposite the clinic. The receptionist was not aware that the “café” doubled as a creche on alternate days, and so when I arrived a little time later and walked over, the police had already been called to attend the drunken man passed out in a midst of tossed-over tables, extremely aggrieved carers and a chorus of screaming toddlers.

Contraindications to Hypnosis The following conditions, to my knowledge, should be taken to indicate extreme risk or requirement of specialist knowledge prior to treatments involving hypnosis: Depression with a risk of suicide.

Influence of Drugs.

Influence of Alcohol.

Severe Psychiatric Disorders – Schizophrenia.

Delusional Disorders. The following conditions should be taken into account as potentially having abreactions to treatment by hypnosis: Asthma.

Epilepsy.

Narcolepsy.

The following conditions may be untreatable by standard forms of hypnosis (or the client’s other presenting issue(s) may be untreatable due to their presence): Dementia (pre-frontal damage).

Hypermania. Difficulties may also be faced with the presence of secondary gains, where a client may present one issue which also gains them ‘attention’ from others, which is a secondary gain. If we try to simple “remove” the “issue”, this will be resisted from the standpoint of the secondary gain if it is strong or unrecognised. Some clients may have tertiary gains that are equally as strong as the secondary gain and presented gain. In these cases, we may adopt the technique of n-step reframing, adding a new loop to the environment check stage; “is there anybody else in there that has anything they want to change to ensure their need is recognised or met?” Traffic Lights. Professional Practice/Incorporation and Utilisation. Using incorporation for change-work or trance induction often includes the outside environment. This can be subtle enough to appear almost like coincidence – in one training session when I was younger, the students and teachers were not aware of the principle and would sometimes remark how strange it was that when I was doing an exercise, for example, as I mentioned a door opening in someone’s mind, an actual door was opening outside the room. I trust at some point in their training outside of that course, they discovered the magic of incorporation and utilisation. At one office I worked, there was a busy street outside, with traffic lights. The beauty of this principle is that it works on an unconscious level – whilst clients could not see the lights, they knew they were there, because they saw them as they came into the office, they often had to drive through them, and they could hear the traffic

starting, stopping and idling outside the window. I utilised the sounds of the engines in trance inductions such as “I don’t know where that car, or the other car, are going now, and I know that you don’t know where they may be going, but we can both wait now for them to go, knowing that they will drive, they will go now, they both know where they are going and as we do we can relax even more now, because there are so many cars taking so many people to so many places where they want to go and as they do, we can notice them or not as we relax into where we are going …” With this mapping, it would often happen that a client would unconsciously move in and out of various states of awareness and breathing patterns in time to the changing of the lights outside the room, even though they could not see them.

Client Notes These are not the only useful NLP-related questions that you may ask yourself during the client session, or afterwards, although they may be a useful start as you make your own checklist: Spatial Gestures Where do they place their problem?

Where do they put their past/future?

How do they move things around? Eye Access Cues Do I know when they are accessing their visual, auditory and kinaesthetic representations? Language Have I heard their language predicates (i.e., “It just feels bad,” “I’m stuck”, etc.)?

Have I heard their somatic (body) metaphors/predicates (i.e., “it hit me in the gut”)?

When do they switch YOU/I? Representational System & Modalities Do I know what their primary representational system is?

Do I know what their main visual, auditory, and kinaesthetic ‘kickers’ are? Strategies Do I know *how* they do their problem as a defined strategy? TimeLine Where is their past, their present and future? Beliefs & Values Have I established their hierarchy of values? Anchors Have got them into a resourceful state and anchored it?

Have I got them to a relaxed or ‘neutral’ state and anchored it? Self-Image

When do they associate and disassociate? You or Them? Professional Practice/Supervision. “How much do you do, and much does your client do?” was one of the first questions asked of me during my own supervision sessions. I had been lucky to have scheduled a year of supervision with a friend of a friend who was a licensed psychotherapist. Her background was in both private and NHS practice, as well as working for a number of NGO’s around the world. They had often asked me about my work, which was not part of any structure, and I had bemoaned the lack of supervision opportunities in the field. The circumstances opened to provide them time to offer such supervision, and for me to be in a place where it was more than useful – if not, absolutely essential. So, feeling in our first sessions that I was under trial (not that I was, of course) for my approach, I knew this question, “how much do you do, and how much does your client do?” was likely a trick question. So instead of going with my initial response, which was that it was 100% in my hands as a therapist, I hedged my bets for “50% the client, 50% me”. I started to say “fifty-per-” and was sharply interrupted with “NO!”. “NO!”, she repeated, “It’s 100% your client”.

Session Self-Review 1. Have I made it clear to the client the time-frame expected for the work, and if that is non-negotiable/fixed or negotiable/fluid? 2. Have I established a positive outcome frame? 3. Have I generated an appropriate state, i.e., motivation, hope, security which is supportive or preparative for the stage of the change? 4. Have I been engaged, whether passive or active? 5. Did I establish and maintain rapport? 6. What was the focal or pivotal centre of this session? 7. Was there a strange attractor that was not encountered but was present by inference, intuition or implication? 8. What did I miss? 9. Did I at any time apply the wrong level of pressure, timeconstraint or expectation of the client? 10. How would I say that this session worked towards the agreed positive aim(s)? 11. How are the presenting symptoms changing? 12. What remains to be done? 13. How will I best lead into the next session? 14. Is there any evidence that this approach is not suitable for the client, and if so, what is our best closure? [132]

Early Days in the Dentist Chair. Professional Practice/Environment. When I first started in practice with clients, I used a room in my house. However, it rapidly became obvious that it would not only be more professional to have an office, but safer too. I booked a room, to be used once a day on a weekly basis, above a local health shop which was being used by another professional. I discovered in my first few sessions that my colleague was a chiropodist who did not always sweep the floor of her various clippings. Thus, my first few months in professional practice usually commenced with a dustpan and brush, sweeping up other people’s toenails. The room was also dominated by a large massage-type chair with power-assisted hydraulics. Whilst this was wonderful once I was used to it, my early days were also spent inadvertently launching several people towards the ceiling instead of into a relaxing and reclined position. It is best to start in a venue which is best suited to your approach and gives your clients a particular impression – in my case I had to utilise the lingering smell of surgical spirits and a dentist-like chair.

EXERCISES

Exercises In the following exercises are provided for your personal practice and as a learning guide or review of the materials given in this book.

Language Exercises Exercise 1 Each week choose one meta-model/Milton-model pattern and listen for it and notice when you use it, such as “universal quantifiers”. Listen to how it is used by others and towards the end of the week gently enquire (not challenge) when it is used to see if you can discover some of the deep structure underneath the surface representation. Exercise 2 Listen, read and emulate parrot-fashion those who have the best hypnotic language to whom you can personally relate. Whilst our intention is not to pick up exactly the same tones or delivery, we learn language by repetition and mimicry, so this new language is no different. I recommend at first, reading sections slowly from a book of scripts, to practice delivery rather than content.[133] Exercise 3 List adverbs to enrich your language, quickly, slowly, gently … Exercise 4 Generate stories for states. Watch how other people change state when they tell a story. Exercise 5 Practice eliciting, amplifying, and anchoring positive states for yourself. Then experiment by anchoring states in others – when someone goes into a state naturally, anchor it with a word or gesture, then see if you can trigger the state again sometime later. Exercise 6 Run through these patterns; Disney Creativity Model, Swish, Circle of Excellence, Phobia Theatre method, Re-Framing, until you can use each one. Exercise 7 Practice pivot grammar, confusional language and linking words.

Similes and Metaphor Exercises In bypassing the conscious filter, we reverse-engineer the natural process of dreaming, which often uses (as most people know) symbolism to communicate. Similarly, the unconscious can also process puns, similes, complex metaphors, analogies and allegories, and phonetical ambiguity. We can prepare ourselves to communicate in this manner by having a range of similes and metaphors to hand: Similes A simile is a simple equivalence (or correspondence) of two things such as the obvious “he was tired as a dog” or the more obscure, “as happy as larry”.[134] The way-out word, ‘like’ is also used in similes, like “he was like a foghorn”, which omits, ‘shouting’ or ‘snoring’. The NLP Meta-Model approach would likely enquire, “in what way was he like a foghorn?”. Having said that, we can utilise similes in our language to provide a symbolic representation of either the induction, deepeners, or the situation itself. This helps discuss it without immediacy, allowing more content to be elicited. To elicit a simile (or metaphor), the therapist might ask: “… and that’s like what?” A set of useful similes for inductions might include: Relax like … Be strong like … The patience of a …

Easy like … Feeling as focused as … Drifting like … Like …, easily floating. Whilst they can be so obvious, using similes is as easy as falling off a log. Exercise Generate and list as many similes as you can, until your hand feels like it is dropping off. Metaphors A metaphor is more complex than a simile in that it is a constellation of symbols, with a wider range than a simple and single equivalence. A commonly recognised metaphor would be such as “life is a box of chocolates”.[135] Life could be considered as a box of chocolates in many different ways, depending on your perspective; it is usually taken to mean “you never know what you might get”, although most boxes now have to list the contents on the outside with detail down to the calorific level. If we take “life” as a complex term, we might look at different metaphors: Life is a journey.

Life is a holiday.

Life is a fruit bowl. And consider how each might be presented to the conscious mind, and the potential unconscious processing that might be applied to those metaphors. We might also note that metaphors are more powerful than we might often recognise; consider a young child who has been repeatedly warned by an overbearing father not to “flush your life down the toilet”, hearing those same words used by a boss at work to describe their project, as in “we might have well as flushed this project down the toilet”. The unconscious mind has no real concept of linear time or conscious consideration, it will simply react as if the metaphor communications are the same and with the same weight. Exercise Consider your personal home truths; sayings that your parents communicated, such as “a watched kettle never boils”, or “the early bird gets the worm”. Record as many as possible and then consider how they may shape your expectations and life. You might also wish to consider the veracity of such truths; the early bird may get the worm, but it is the second mouse who gets the cheese; the light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train; and just because someone has already cornered the market does not mean that you cannot take the other three corners.

Client Case Exercises Exercise 1 Referring in particular to the VSTF (Very Simple Trance Format) imagine taking a client telephone call, as detailed below. Although you do not yet know until you meet the client what approach you might take, what induction you might use at that moment, and what useful feedback they will provide you to make your clinical goal more easily accomplished, I would like you to write notes towards an approach you might take in a 50-minute session, including a script you might use with the client. Client Sample Call Well, I’d like to lose weight, I’m over-weight and don’t really have much self-esteem as well. I was going to go to weightwatchers, but I thought, ‘what’s the point?’ as it’s really just a sticking-plaster. I feel like it’s crunch-time. And now the problem absolutely rules my life. I went to counseling but that just seemed to go down a hole. I went to hypnotherapy – once, for childbirth. But even that was difficult, I knew – and I mean, not just worried, I knew I was going to die in childbirth, so that was obviously worrying. It comes in waves, the over-eating, I feel like my head’s spinning and my husband says I get a bit snappy. But it goes through peaks and troughs as well. I get to see chocolate and I just buy it, even if I don’t want it. Then I just hate myself afterwards. I have a wonderful daughter – I’d like to be a better rolemodel for her.

I think I need to be accepted – doesn’t everyone? But I think about it too much, I get bogged down with myself. Female, aged 32yrs, 5’9” height, 17.5 st. To assist you, here are some of the elements you might include in your notes and script. Pre-Session Notes What struck you about the call?

What might you want to explore – ignore – build upon?

What representational system(s) are evident?

How can you use what you hear in the language of the client?

What do you need to ask the client?

Where do you want to take the client?

Are there things that you don’t want to ‘start off’ with the client (in case of resistance or previous bad anchors) but ‘sneak in’ later?

Will you have to inoculate the client? Against what? The Script Choose one of the inductions covered in this book – perhaps the Betty Erickson or the Rossi Fail-Safe method. How will you deliver this induction? Write a series of deepeners using at least two of the Ericksonian Language Patterns (Milton Model) such as the double-bind. Imagine that a child bangs the floor upstairs when you are visiting this client and delivering your script – how will you incorporate/utilize this event? Write it into your script. In the middle of your script, tell a story that relaxes the client and includes finding something in a box. Tell the story as if you had found something important to you in box at some point, and then use the words, “and I don’t know what you’d find inside that box that tells you what you need to do more now, but I’m sure you’ll know and be pleasantly surprised with what you’re holding now”. Then conclude your story and gently lead the client back to normal everyday waking consciousness. A Post-Hypnotic Suggestion As an addition to your script, you may choose to install a posthypnotic suggestion of value to the client, such as “and over the coming days, when (X happens), you’ll find yourself easily (doing Y) and the more that happens, the easier it becomes to (do Y) …” Speech, Markers and Tonal Anchors What words will you emphasize?

What words will you slow down?

What words might you repeat at several points throughout the script? This exercise is to challenge your ability to listen and prepare for a client intervention, rather than as a test of choosing, designing, and delivering that intervention. Exercise 2 Sarah, who was twelve, came to me with her father, who was concerned about her shyness. She was unable to approach new people to make friends and was increasingly becoming isolated at school, despite her wanting to be social. She seemed bright and cheerful and otherwise healthy and well. She had been to a doctor and had one session with a child psychologist at the school, and there were no “obvious” issues. The psychologist had suggested she ‘take up more hobbies with groups’ but she was unable to do so. Her father had seen Paul McKenna on TV and thought he’d give hypnotherapy and NLP “a go”. Imagine that you can ask “Sarah” questions and invent answers on her behalf to these questions: What does she want to have happen?

Can she visualize?

What is her attention span?

What are her favourite activities?

Does she have any celebrity role-models/peer rolemodels?

Does she have any worries?

What are her favourite books, games, TV shows? Then construct a Simple Isomorphic Metaphor for working with this young client. Building Works. Professional Practice/ Incorporation and Utilisation. At one clinic I worked for a while, they had building work next door on a major renovation. This was scheduled for some four or five months. I was reminded that the approach of “incorporation” had likely come, some had said, from having to work in a busy environment with a loud corridor outside, for example, in a hospital. So over time my metaphors became the ultimate incorporation of every building-related sound, symbol and loud shouting you can imagine; “and as you think back to that time, hammering each memory to where you can fix it [double meaning of “fix”] and wonder whether shouting ever got anyone the attention you deserve [switch of they/you] now you can pile those memories like bricks, one on top of another, making a firm foundation for all that you have built to now…” It turned out that construction is not the worst environment in which to build constructive metaphors. Exercise 3

Gavin introduced himself as a Gambler. He said that he’d been told to come by his parents (although he is aged 42) because he was gambling again after a three-month hiatus. He gave up for that brief time when he asked his mother to loan him her savings (some £17,000) to help save his own mortgage payments which were overdue. Instead, he gambled this money and lost it all. He is now living in rented accommodation whilst his house is re-possessed by the building society. He works as a night-time car-park security guard and gambles his few wages during the day, on-line. He has issued a self-banning order on himself at the main betting chains, but sometimes travels out of the county to place bets on horse races. He does not gamble on the lottery (“a fool’s game”) nor “the dogs” (“just not interested”). He wants to be able to save some money to “get my life back together”. He feels shame and guilt that he has let his parents down, as his father is extremely ill. His best memory is of skiing, when he worked at a better-paid job and went to Austria with his friends (with whom he no longer in touch). He finds it difficult to relax when he is by himself all night and does want to change his job. As in exercise 2, imagine that you can ask “Gavin” questions, and create the answers to at least the following: What representation system leads him?

Is he a Towards/Away From person?

Does he chunk big or small?

What drives him? Where does he want to go? How is his timeline – “in” or “through” or totally different? Then construct a Complex Embedded Metaphor to work with this client.

The Professional Client. Professional Practice/Clients. My very first paying client was probably the worst and best client for whom anyone could wish. I was absolutely terrified, excited also, and was trying to remember about five years of training, a lifetime of interest, and the two prior years of intensive training in NLP and hypnotherapy from as many teachers under whom I had been able to train. Whilst I had practised with fellow students, this was my first “solo” and independent client. He had not shared his issue on booking his appointment, so I was fully open to whatever he was going to present; expecting (and partly hoping for) a weight issue, smoking cessation or even a phobia. My first client was an alcoholic with a history of parental abuse. He had also been through many other recovery programs and modalities, including counselling, CBT, Reiki, psychotherapy, specialist programs and more. None had worked, so he was trying “NLP” as a last resort. In almost immediate hindsight, I should have suggested to him that I was out of my depth, but I was too confident and too eager to try and help. I did tell him I was totally new, and he replied that he was still willing to give me an opportunity. I continued with the session and flailed around somewhat, eventually deciding to do a relatively safe piece of relaxation work. It appears that we all have our ‘fall back’ or ‘fail-safe’ routines, and for me, the Betty Erickson technique was one of them. We concluded the session and agreed he would provide me feedback after a week to let me know if he was interested in pursuing the approach. When he did phone me, he kindly told me he would not be pursuing our work together but wished me the best of luck for the future. He then asked me if I had a moment for his feedback and proceeded to spend thirty minutes going through the session from a client perspective, highlighting every issue, every meander, every missed opportunity, and the occasional positive action on my part.

It turned out that my first client was also one of the most professional and experienced clients I have ever had. His work with so many people before me had given him a unique perspective on sessions – everything, in fact, other than the solution to his own issue.

CONCLUSION

Field, Form and Fate As we come to close this book, I wanted to mention a phenomenon I have observed over the past few decades and which is neatly summarised in the book, Field, Form and Fate (1999) by Michael Conforti.[136] When we engage in any change-work, work that requires an initiation of a totally new state, we must open our closed system to new patterns. However, both our present state, the mechanism that maintains it, and the new patterns, all co-exist in an interconnected field of archetypal patterns and resonances between those patterns. Conforti points out that the very way a client seeks to book a session, or change the way they attend, will all be bound up to their presenting issue. Whilst we may feel somewhat constrained by this, it is a good opportunity to open up how these patterns have unconsciously bound our previous behaviour. A client seeking assistance to give up an old habit of over-eating may not only be having dreams of being smothered but may also suddenly find themselves with a new job in a restaurant. A client who mentions that they need a clean break from their previous life may suddenly encounter a break in their work. Sometimes, these resonating events, these synchronous occurrences, are signposts on the way. We go hand in hand with nature in this work, and the practitioner may wish to seek all the oracles to hand. The Emetophobe’s Nightmare. Phobia/Synchronicity. The client, an owner of a hospitality venue, attended a session to deal with his fear of sickness (specifically, vomiting); a phobia known as emetophobia.

This phobia was now stopping his work almost every day, particularly as the party season was approaching and sometimes staff were unavailable to mop-up after vomiting might have occurred in his venue. I cannot recall exactly what work we did, however, the method itself is not the point of this vignette. What was interesting, is that shortly after we started the sessions, he took a break to go on holiday prior to his busy season. I gave him a method to practice whilst he was away. As soon as he returned, he had booked our next session and told me that whilst on holiday something major had occurred. On the second day at breakfast his young son had complained of stomach pains. At some point he was rushed to hospital in Spain and it was determined that he had a serious kidney problem. Following an emergency overnight operation, he was placed in bed-rest for two days at the hospital. The man told me as he had to stay by his son’s side throughout this time it was his worst nightmare. This was because - and here he started to laugh - there “just happened” to be an outbreak of a bug which caused vomiting throughout the whole hospital at the time. He was still laughing when he talked about the vomit and “minefield” of sick-sprayed corridors he had learnt to navigate whilst practising his homework. Sometimes synchronicity operates with devious humour in selfchange work.

NLP Haiku In several of my own courses, I introduce the Japanese poetry method of Haiku, in order to install a simple means of condensing information to a clear communication. The practice of summing up an entire course, for example, in three lines, composed of five, seven and five syllables, is a useful method.[137] In terms of NLP, we can use the format to make an initial and factual statement in the first line - no metaphors are usually used in Haiku, they are delivered in a literal fashion. In the second line, we can then extend that observation or fact with additional detail, creating an amplification, or open it to a wider perspective. Then, in the third line, we can provide an entire re-framing or shift of perspective which makes us re-evaluate the first line and see it in a new way. Here are a few of my favourite Haiku summaries of NLP from students: Life-changing technique Through modelling excellence Applied to oneself. Always in a state Some are better than others Learning that I choose. Light shifts in patterns Blinding my eyes on the path Trust then, in myself.

We learnt about words How structures enable speech Now public - beware. Use mind and language Cherry-blossom elegance Behaviour changes.

Conclusion Erickson would sometimes end a trance by stating, “All good things must come to an end”. This is one of the most profound dilemmas encountered by living creatures.[138] I trust that this book has provided a cherry-blossom sense of how NLP can be used to model and change behaviour and insight through an appreciation of the world we make inside our own head. The more you study and practice the methods of NLP, the more you can come to genuinely appreciate how unique you are - and how unique are those around you. We started this book together in an appreciation that it is within the dark places of wisdom we learn best to observe and allow nature to teach us. It is likewise that our own wisdom comes best from observing our own nature. NLP, as with all forms of therapeutic endeavour, recognised or otherwise, is still in its infancy.[139] As we make better progress with the ability to model our actual brain activity in real-time, we find out more about how we create our map of the universe. One recent study looked at brain activity when subjects were asked to imagine a future wedding that had not (yet) happened. Whilst the relevant bits of the brain for planning and imagination were observed to be active, there was also a prior brief flash of activity in another part of the brain - the part which holds long-term memory. It seems obvious to say, but to imagine a future event, we draw from the entirety of our past associated with that event to make ourselves a picture of the future. We simulate even the immediate future of a few seconds based on the totality of our representation of the past.[140]

The more we learn to move our attention to the things we value, the more we learn to be congruent, authentic, to honestly and openly test our map of the world, the more we mature in the work. This - we - are the work, the worker and the workshop. And in that workshop, the worker is hidden. Marcus Katz The Lake District, 2020.

The Woman Who Jumped. Motivation/Natural NLP. I was walking through a forest where there was a popular suspended rope and bridge treetop adventure called Go Ape! This involved rope swings, bridges, ladders, nets, and so forth, all suspended high in the trees, with safety harnesses and ropes for the participants. I had stopped to observe a large group, perhaps a pair of families, on the path, shouting up to a woman who was refusing to jump on an extremely high rope swing across a large gap. The woman was obviously part of the group and they were shouting up different forms of encouragement: It’s easier than it looks! You’ve got this far, don’t let yourself down now! What an idiot! [And to the family on the ground] “I just knew she wouldn’t do the whole thing, I said so, didn’t I? Didn’t I?” You’ll enjoy it, it looks like great fun! You’re holding everyone back! Come on! Just do it! Hurry up! None of these strategies were working - particularly, I imagined, as everybody was shouting them safely from the ground. Why trust a voice who wasn’t with you where you were? The woman’s feet had become absolutely fixed on the high platform. Then, the friend she was with reached the platform behind her and pulled herself right up behind her, despite the smallness of the space and how precarious the position. The friend said something in her ear, softly and gently, but firmly, which was audible to the bystanders and the owners of opinion far down on the ground. She simply said, “you got this, Samantha” and lightly touched her shoulder. And, with a whoop of fear, exhilaration, and excitement, Samantha jumped.

READING LISTS

Reading Lists A Book to give Friends and Family who want to Know what it’s all About Don’t Think of Purple Spotted Oranges. Shervington, Martin. London: Marshall Editions, 2001. The History of Hypnosis Sites of the Unconscious. Mayer, Andreas. London: The University of Chicago Press, 2013. Hidden Depths: The Story of Hypnosis, Waterfield, Robin. London: Macmillan, 2002. Psyche, on the Development of the Soul. Hillman, James, ‘An Introductory Note, C. G. Carus - C. G. Jung’. New York City: Spring Publications, 1970. The Initial Development of NLP (1975-1987) The Structure of Magic I & II. Bandler, Richard & Grinder, John. Palo Alto: Science and Behavior Books, 1975 & 1976. The original work of Bandler and Grinder based on Virginia Satir & Milton Erickson, details the Meta-Model. With transcripts of usage and introduces linguistic theories of surface and deep structure. The second book details representational systems and applications in family therapy. Bandler recently noted that much of this work has been superseded or developed significantly in the last twenty-five years, but these two books remain the first core texts of NLP. Frogs into Princes: Neuro Linguistic Programming. Bandler, Richard & Grinder, John. Moab: Real People Press, 1975.

A classic early work which covers the emerging thoughts of what was now called NLP, the book is basically a transcript of workshops covering Representational Systems, Anchoring and Reframing. Changing with Families. Bandler, Richard, Grinder, John & Virginia Satir. Palo Alto: Science and Behavior Books, 1976. An early collection of observations based on the family therapy work of Virginia Satir, with rich transcripts showing the language patterns at work. Trance-Formations: Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the Structure of Hypnosis. Bandler, Richard & Grinder, John. Moab: Real People Press, 1981. A thorough series of transcripts of working with NLP and hypnosis, covering inductions, reframing in trance, and other techniques such as pain control, and process instructions. Also, calibration exercises such as Crystal Ball gazing. Includes selfhypnosis using the Betty Erickson technique. Reframing: Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the Transformation of Meaning. Bandler, Richard & Grinder, John. Moab: Real People Press, 1982. A detailed look at 6-step (or n-step) reframing, also covering its use for couples, families, and organizations, as well as disassociated states such as drug abuse. Change Your Mind and Keep the Change. Andreas, Steve & Andreas, Connirae. Moab: Real People Press, 1987. A collection of submodality techniques including Timelines, Swish Patterns, and the excellent elicitation of criteria technique. Virginia Satir

Virginia Satir: Foundational Ideas. Brothers, Barbara J. (ed). Binghamton: Haworth Press, 1991. Conjoint Family Therapy. Virginia Satir. London: Souvenir Press, 1983. Milton H. Erickson Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, Vols. I & II. Bandler, Richard & Grinder, John. Cupertino: Meta Publications, 1975. The Collected Papers of Milton H. Erickson on Hypnosis, Vols IIII. ‘The Nature of Hypnosis and Suggestion’, ‘Hypnotic Alteration of Sensory, Perceptual and Psychophysiological Processes’ & ‘Hypnotic Investigation of Psychodynamic Processes’. Rossi, Ernest L. (ed.) New York: Irvington Publishers, 1980, 1989. Phoenix: Therapeutic Patterns of Milton H. Erickson. Gordon, David & Meyers-Anderson, Maribeth. Cupertino: Meta Publications, 1981. The Wisdom of Milton H. Erickson: The Complete Volume. Havens. Ronald A. Carmarthen: Crown House Publishing, 2003. Hope & Resiliency: Understanding the Psychotherapeutic Strategies of Milton H. Erickson. Short, Dan, Erickson, Betty A. & Erickson Klein, Roxanna. Carmarthen: Crown House Publishing, 2005. My Voice Will Go with You: The Teaching Tales of Milton H. Erickson. Rosen, Sidney (ed.) New York: W. W. Norton, 1991. Therapeutic Trances: The Cooperation Principle in Ericksonian Hypnotherapy. Gilligan, Stephen G. New York: Brunner/Mazel, 1987. Contemporary Introductions to NLP

Introducing Neuro-Linguistic Programming. O’Connor, Joseph & Seymour, John. San Francisco: Conari Press, 2011. Neurolinguistic Psychotherapy: A Wake, Lisa. Hove: Routledge, 2008.

Postmodern

Perspective.

NLP Practitioner, Master Practitioner and Reference Books An Insider’s Guide to Sub-modalities. Bandler, Richard & MacDonald, Will. Capitola: Meta Publications, Inc.,1988. Covers much of the material given at Practitioner level, including Swish Pattern, Confusion to Understanding, Reequisite Variety, etc. The Spirit of NLP. Hall, Michael L. Carmarthen: Anglo-American Book Company, 1996. Covers the Master Practitioner level of work, starting with Propulsion Systems. A very good work, this book, highly recommended. The Sourcebook of Magic. Hall, Michael L. & Belnap, Barbara. Carmarthen: Crown House Publishing, 1999. An invaluable reminder of all the techniques and patterns of NLP, although given without much context. This book is a pure sourcebook of ideas and models, for reference once you have done some practice and for striking off new ideas later. Time/Space Timeline Therapy and the Structure of Personality, James, Tad & Woodsmall, Wyatt. Carmarthen: Crown House, 2017. Time Lining. Bodenhamer, Bob G. & Hall, Michael L. Carmarthen: Anglo-American Book Company, 1997. Metaphors

Therapeutic Metaphors. Publications, 1978.

Gordon,

David.

Cupertino:

Meta

Particularly section 4 of part II, on creating a strategy that bridges the metaphor used by the other person to a solution, i.e., one suggested by the tarot spread. Using Metaphors in Psychotherapy. Barker, Philip. New York: Brunner/Mazel Inc, 1985. Gives many specific examples of using metaphors to motivate people, explore complex family dynamics, etc. Metaphoria: Metaphor and Guided Metaphor for Psychotherapy and Healing. Battino, Rubin. Carmarthen: Crown House, 2005. Gives good examples of how to construct and deliver narrative therapy, i.e., guided or story-telling visualisations that can be easily woven into a tarot reading. Professional Practice These are the titles that were recommended to me by supervisors, therapists and those I have found personally useful for rounding out my own practice. Introduction to Psychoanalysis. Bateman, Anthony & Homes, Jeremy. London and New York: Routledge, 1995. On Learning from the Patient. Casement, Patrick. Hove: BrunnerRoutledge, 2002. Time-Limited Counselling. Feltham, Colin. London: Sage, 1997. An Introduction to the Therapeutic Frame. Gray, Anne. London and New York: Routledge, 1997. Wisdom in the Practice of Psychotherapy. Karasu, T. Byram. Basic Books, 1992.

Documenting Psychotherapy: Essentials for Mental Health Practitioners. Moline, Mary E., Williams, George T. & Austin, Kenneth M. London: Sage Publications, 1998. The Wounded Healer: Countertransference from a Jungian Perspective. Sedgwick, David. London and New York: Routledge, 2009. The Gift of Therapy. Yalom, Irvin D. London: Piatkus, 1992. Inner Child Work Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child. Bradshaw, John. London: Piatkus, 1990. The Dark Side of the Inner Child. Connecticut: Bramble Books, 1993.

Wolinsky,

Stephen.

Recovering Your Inner Child. Capacchione, Lucia. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1991. Reclaiming the Inner Child. Abrams, Jerimiah (ed.) London: Thorsons, 1991. Clean Language Clean Language: Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds. Sullivan, Wendy & Rees, Judy. Crown House: Carmarthen, 2008. Based on the work of the late David Grove and used to develop the innovative Tarosophy tarot method ‘How to Generate a Spread from Any Question’. Metaphors in Mind. Lawley, James & Tompkins, Penny. London: The Developing Company Press, 2003. Disney Creativity Model Walt Disney: An American Original. Thomas, Bob. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1976.

How to be Like Walt: Capturing the Disney Magic Every Day of Your Life. Williams, Pat. Deerfield Beach, Florida: Health Communications, Inc., 2005. Other Recommended Titles Practical Magic. Lankton, Steve. Capitola: Meta Publications, 1980. Applying NLP to Clinical Psychotherapy with lots of examples of techniques in practice. Hypnotherapy Scripts. Havens, R. A. & Walters, Catherine. New York: Brunner/Mazel, 1989. An excellent collection of Ericksonian scripts and metaphors. The Art of Hypnotherapy. Kendall/Hunt, 1995.

Hunter,

C.

Roy.

Dubuque:

A straightforward and simple approach to hypnotherapy as I was originally taught, with regression and parts work, including past life regression. Trancework: An Introduction to the Practice of Clinical Hypnosis. Yapko, Michael D. New York: Brunner/Mazel, 1990. A heavier and denser book on the practice of hypnotherapy, full of useful discussion points and strategies. Rapid Cognitive Therapy. Philips, Georges & Watts, Terence. Carmarthen: Crown House, 2004. A fantastic collection of techniques and methods all of which are practical and useful. I particularly use the “Race for Life” technique for an end-of-therapy routine, for which this book is worth in price alone.

List of Abbreviations ASA: Advertising Standards Authority. CAP: Committee of Advertising Practice. CBT: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. EFT: Emotional Freedom Technique. ENT: Ear, Nose and Throat. GHSC: General Hypnotherapy Standards Council. NGO: Non-Governmental Organisation. NHS: National Health Service. NLP: Neuro-Linguistic Programming. OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. TOTE: Test (or Trigger), Operate, Test, Exit (or End). VAKOG: Visual, Auditory, Kinaesthetic, Olfactory, Gustatory (Modalities). VSTF: Very Simple Trance Format.

Glossary Agents of Change: See Modalities. Amplification: Strengthening a state by changing the modalities of its representation. Chunking: The level of detail in which a Representation is held, from small-detail to big picture. Compression: Weakening a state by changing the modalities of its representation, usually in opposite to Amplification. Elicitation: Discovering and making conscious any unconscious process, as in “eliciting a representation of that fear”. Haiku: A form of short poetry originating in Japan that has three lines composing of five, seven, and five syllables. Hypnosis: The process of reducing attention to a single point (or opening it beyond boundaries) which results in a bypassing of the conscious critical faculty. Inoculation: Addressing a specific concern before it is raised, such as “I know this may be a bit more expensive than you were thinking, but that is because it is safer”. Kicker: The Modality which causes the most change in a state, such as distance being found to be the kicker in one person’s visual Representation of excitement. Modalities: The components of a Representational System, such as volume being a modality of audio and clarity being a modality of visual.

Predicate: A technical and complex term in linguistics, here used to mean something which points to the property of another thing, such as the phrase ‘I see’ predicating a visual representation. Representational System (or Representation): The system of the five senses which is used to model an abstract concept or experience, such as a visual image in the mind or a feeling in the stomach. Unconscious: All that is beyond conscious awareness in any given moment.

Bibliography Abrams, J. (ed.), Reclaiming the Inner Child. London: Thorsons, 1991. Andreas, S. & Andreas, C. Change Your Mind and Keep the Change. Moab, Utah: Real People Press, 1987. Ardito, R. B. & Rabellino, D. ‘Therapeutic Alliance and Outcome of Psychotherapy: Historical Excursus, Measurements, and Prospects for Research’, Frontiers in Psychology, 2:270 (2011). Ash, E. Hypnotism and Suggestion. London: William Rider & Son, 1912. Bandler, R. & Grinder, J. Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, Vols. I & II. Cupertino: Meta Publications, 1975. __________ Structure of Magic. Palo Alto: Science and Behavior Books, 1975 & 1976. Bandler, R. & LaValle, J. Persuasion Engineering. Capitola: Meta Publications, 2000. Bandler, R Grinder, J. & Satir, V. Changing with Families. Palo Alto, California: Science and Behavior Books, 1976. Battino, R. & South, T. L. Ericksonian Approaches. Crown House Publishing: Carmarthen, Wales, 1999. Bostick St. Clair, C. & Grinder, J. Whispering in the Wind. Scotts Valley, California: J & C Enterprises, 2001. Bradshaw, J. Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child. London: Piatkus, 1990.

Braid, J. Braid on Hypnotism. London: George Redway, 1899. Brown, D. Tricks of the Mind. London: Transworld Publishers, 2007. Brunton, P. The Inner Reality. London: Rider, 1939. Capacchione, L. Recovery of Your Inner Child. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1991. Carus, C. G. Psyche, on the Development of the Soul. New York City: Spring Publications, 1970. Chertok, L. & De Saussure, R. The Therapeutic Revolution. From Mesmer to Freud. New York: Brunner/Mazel, 1979. Conforti, M. Field, Form, and Fate: Patterns in Mind, Nature, & Psyche. Sheridan, Wyoming: Fisher King Press, 1999. de Bono, E. The Mechanism of Mind. London: Penguin, 1969. Delboeuf, J. Le Magnetisme Animal. Paris: F. Alcan, 1889. Dilts, J. Sleight of Mouth. Cupertino: Meta Publications, 1996. Ellenberger, H. F. The Discovery of the Unconscious. New York: Basic Books Inc, 1970. Erickson, M. H. ‘Initial Experiments Investigating the Nature of Hypnosis’, The American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis, October 1964, 7. __________ ‘The “Surprise” and “My-Friend-John” Techniques of Hypnosis: Minimal Cues and Natural Field Experimentation’, American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis, 6:4, 293307 (1964). __________ The Nature of Hypnosis and Suggestion, Vol. I. New York: Irvington Publishers, 1989.

__________ The American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis, January 1975, 17. Erickson, M. H.& Rossi, E. L. ‘Varieties of Double Bind’, The Nature of Hypnosis and Suggestion, Vol. I. New York: Irvington Publishers, 1989. Faivre, A. ‘Naturphilosophie’, Dictionary of Gnosis and Western Esotericism Vol. II. Leiden: Brill, 2006. Farrelly, F. & Brandsma, J. M. Provocative Therapy. Cupertino: Meta Publications, 1974. Feltham, C. Time-Limited Publications, 1997.

Counselling.

London:

Sage

Forel, A. Der Hypnotismus. Seine Bedeutung und seine Handhabung. Stuttgart: Enke, 1889. Fredrickson, B. L. ‘The role of positive emotions in Positive Psychology: The broaden and build theory of positive emotions’, American Psychologist. 56(3) (2001). Garrett, R. ‘The Foreign Hand-Tie’, Analog Science Fact & Fiction. New York: Street & Smith Publications, December 1961. Gordon, D. Therapeutic Metaphors. Cupertino, CA.: Meta Publications 1988. Grinder, J. & Pucelik, F. (ed.). The Origins of Neuro Linguistic Programming. Carmarthen: Crown House Publishing, 2013. Hammond, D. C. Handbook of Hypnotic Suggestions and Metaphors. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 1990. Hardy, J. A Psychology with a Soul. London: Routledge Kegan Paul, 1997.

Havens, R. A. & Walters, C. Hypnotherapy Scripts: A NeoEricksonian Approach to Persuasive Healing. New York: Brunner/Mazel, 1989. Havens, R. A. The Wisdom of Milton H. Erickson. Carmarthen: Crown House, 2007. James. T. & Shephard, D. Presenting Magically. Carmarthen: Crown House, 2001. Jeffers, S. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. London: Vermilion, 2019. Kingsley, Peter. In the Dark Places of Wisdom. Point Reyes, California: The Golden Sufi Center, 2013. Lankton, S. & Lankton, C. The Answer Within. Crown House Publishers, 2008. Lapakko, D. ‘Three Cheers for Language: A Closer Examination of a Widely Cited Study of Nonverbal Communication’ in Communication Education, Vol. 46 (January 1997). Lawley, J. D. & Tompkins, P. L. Metaphors in Mind. London: The Developing Company Press, 2003. Maier, E. ‘The Cartographers of Dead Thoughts’, Max Plank Research 2.14 (2014). Mainka, T., Balint, B., Gövert, F., Kurvits, L., van Riesen, C., Kühn, A.A., Tijssen, M.A., Lees, A.J., Müller‐Vahl, K., Bhatia, K.P. and Ganos, C. (2019), The spectrum of involuntary vocalizations in humans: A video atlas. Mov Disord, 34: 1774-1791. Mayer, A. Sites of the Unconscious: Hypnosis and the Emergence of the Psychoanalytical Setting. London: The University of Chicago Press, 2013.

Mayer. A. ‘From Introspective Hypnotism to Freud's Self-Analysis. Procedures of Self-Observation in Clinical Practice’, Revue d'Histoire des Sciences Humaines, 2001/2 (no 5). McClendon, T. L. NLP: The Wild Days, 1972 - 1981. Createspace, 2013. Milliner, C. B., DeLozier, J., Grinder, J. & Topel, S. Leaves Before the Wind. Scotts Valley, California: Grinder, DeLozier & Associates, 1991. O’Hanlon, W. H. & Martin, M. Solution-Orientated Hypnosis. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, Inc, 1992. Sanford, L.T. Strong at the Broken Places: Overcoming the Trauma of Childhood Abuse. London: Virago Press, 2003. Satir, V. Conjoint Family Therapy. London: Souvenir Press, 1983. Short, D., Erickson, B. A. & Erickson Klein, R. E. Hope & Resiliency: Understanding the Psychotherapeutic Strategies of Milton H. Erickson M.D. Carmarthen: Crown House Publishing, 2005. Szpunar, K. K., Addis, D. R., McLelland, V. C. & Schacter, D. L. ‘Memories of the future: new insights into the adaptive value of episodic memory’, Frontiers of Behavioural Neuroscience, 23rd May 2013. Wake, L. Neurolinguistic Psychotherapy: Perspective. Hove: Routledge, 2008.

A

Postmodern

Waterfield, R. Hidden Depths: The Story of Hypnosis. London: Macmillan, 2002. Wilson, R. A. Prometheus Rising. Tempe, Arizona: New Falcon Publications,1983.

__________ The New Inquisition. Phoenix, Arizona: New Falcon Publications, 1986. Wolinsky, S. The Dark Side of the Inner Child. Connecticut: Bramble Books, 1993. Wozniak, R. H. Hippolyte Bernheim: Suggestive Therapeutics. Bryn Mawr College, 1886; English 1889. Zink, N. & Munshaw, J. ‘Collapsing Generalizations and the Other Half of NLP’, NLP World, Vol.3 No.1 (March 1996).

Notes [1] A definition from the notorious occultist, Aleister Crowley (1875 - 1947), for more on whom see my Secrets of the Thoth Tarot Vols I-III (Keswick: Forge Press, 2018 - 2020). Dion Fortune (1890 - 1946), another teacher of western esotericism, wrote her first book about psychology, The Machinery of the Mind (1922), under her real name, Violet Firth. [2] “By now” is supposed to be an embedded instruction to “buy now” if verbally delivered as a phonetic ambiguity. “You, like me” is supposed to be accompanied by selfpointing and verbally delivered to imply “you like me”. [3] See also Jean Hardy, A Psychology with a Soul (London: Routledge Kegan Paul, 1997). [4] Richard Bandler & John Grinder, Structure of Magic (Palo Alto: Science and Behavior Books, 1975 & 1976), p. 179. [5] Derren Brown has written on his involvement and thoughts about NLP in his book, Tricks of the Mind, (London: Transworld Publishers, 2007), pp. 172-186. He concludes that “… if we remove from the NLP equation the grinning, flaccid course-junkies, delusional flower-fairies and ridiculous tactile businessmen, and some of the taken-as-read wild claims made by NLPers at all levels, there are some sensible enough tools and techniques from that world which are worth knowing about, as long as you don't become a True Believer” (p. 186) and his book then presents several methods such as the NLP Swish method and Phobia Treatment, without specifically citing their source in NLP (Ibid, pp. 190-201). [6] Tony Robins, ‘The Mentors who Coached Me’, https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mindmeaning/the-mentors-who-coached-me/ [Last accessed 24th November 2020]. [7] Robin Waterfield, Hidden Depths: The Story of Hypnosis (London: Macmillan, 2002), pp. 42-58. [8] Antoine Faivre, ‘Naturphilosophie’ in Dictionary of Gnosis and Western Esotericism Vol. II, (Leiden: Brill, 2006), pp. 822-6. [9] Murray Stein suggests ‘biography’ as a less ponderous translation than ‘developmental history’ in her ‘Precis of Parts Two and Three of Psyche’, an Appendix in Psyche, on the Development of the Soul (New York City: Spring Publications, 1970). [10] Ibid, p. ii, James Hillman, ‘An Introductory Note, C.G. Carus – C.G.Jung’. [11] Ibid, p. 53. [12] See Henri F. Ellenberger, The Discovery of the Unconscious (New York: Basic Books Inc, 1970), particularly pp. 202-210. [13] Edwin Ash, Hypnotism and Suggestion (London: William Rider & Son, 1912), p. 110. [14] For Bernheim’s classic work Suggestive Therapeutics and its influence, see ‘Classics in Psychology’ Robert H. Wozniak - Bryn Mawr College, Hippolyte Bernheim:

Suggestive Therapeutics (1886; English 1889) http://www.thoemmes.com/psych/ernheim.htm. [15] Chertok, L. & De Saussure, R. The Therapeutic Revolution. From Mesmer to Freud. (New York: Brunner/Mazel, 1979). [16] Robin Waterfield, Hidden Depths: The Story of Hypnosis (London: Macmillan, 2002), p. 71. [17] Ibid, p. 86. [18] Ibid, p. 123. [19] Andreas Mayer, Sites of the Unconscious: Hypnosis and the Emergence of the Psychoanalytical Setting (London: The University of Chicago Press, 2013), pp. 94-5. [20] Delboeuf, Le magnetisme animal (Paris: F. Alcan, 1889), pp. 19-20, quoted in Mayer, p.99. [21] Freud, “A Short Account of Psycho-Analysis” SE 19:32, quoted in Mayer, p.225. [22] James Braid, Letter to the Lancet, 1845. [23] James Braid, Arthur Edward Waite (ed.), Braid on Hypnotism (London: George Redway, 1899), p. 94. [Yes, for Tarot students, that A. E. Waite]. [24] Ibid. [25] Ibid. [26] Tous les jours à tous points de vue je vais de mieux en mieux, in Self-mastery through conscious autosuggestion (1920). [27] Virginia apparently disliked seeing her name written as a “Satir” so herein she will be referred to as “Virginia”. [28] Richard Bandler, John Grinder & Virginia Satir, Changing with Families (Palo Alto, California: Science and Behavior Books, 1976), p. 3. [29] Virginia Satir, PAIRS Professional Training, Washington, DC, September 1984. [30] Virginia Satir, Unpublished transcript of cassette recording (Crested Bute, Colorado: Avanta Process Community II, Module I), quoted in Barbara Jo Brothers (ed.), ‘Methods for Connectedness: Virginia Satir’s Contribution to the Process of Human Communication’, Virginia Satir: Foundational Ideas (New York: Routledge, 2011), p. 12. [31] Dan Short, Betty A. Erickson & Roxana Erickson Klein, Hope & Resiliency: Understanding the Psychotherapeutic Strategies of Milton H. Erickson M.D. (Carmarthen: Crown House Publishing, 2005), p. xiii. [32] Since that time, we have seen NLP be associated with everything ranging from the treatment to PTSD to so-called “pick-up” dating workshops. [33] John Grinder & Frank Pucelik (ed.), The Origins of Neuro Linguistic Programming (Carmarthen: Crown House Publishing, 2013), p. 25. [34] Ibid, pp. 26-7. [35] Terrence L. McClendon, NLP: The Wild Days, 1972 - 1981 (Createspace, 2013). [36] New Code NLP seeks to return NLP to its original emphasis on experimental modelling and places more weight on perceptual positions in models. It also strives towards being more content-free and involves the practitioner in a more engaged way with the states being worked.

[37] Einspruch & Forman (1988) cited in Lisa Wake, Neurolinguistic Psychotherapy: A Postmodern Perspective (Hove: Routledge, 2008), p. 171. [38] See ‘News analysis: Controversial mental health guide DSM-5’, NHS website, https://www.nhs.uk/news/mental-health/news-analysis-controversial-mental-health-guidedsm-5/ [Last accessed 6th November 2020]. [39] https://www.who.int/classifications/classification-of-diseases [last accessed 29th November 2020]. [40] See Richard Bandler, John Grinder & Virginia Satir, Changing with Families: A Book about Further Education for being Human (Palo Alto, California: Science and Behavior Books, Inc., 1976). [41] Virginia Satir, Conjoint Family Therapy (London: Souvenir Press, 1983), pp. 91-2. [42] Often attributed to Tony Robbins or even Einstein or Henry Ford, but the phrase is of uncertain origin. It was quite recently used in the popular book, Feel the Fear and do it Anyway, by Susan Jeffers, but dates to about 1980. [43] Add to this, “the map cannot be complete” and “you can make a map of the map”. [44] Dan Short, Betty A. Erickson & Roxana Erickson Klein, Hope & Resiliency: Understanding the Psychotherapeutic Strategies of Milton H. Erickson M.D. (Carmarthen: Crown House Publishing, 2005), p. 37. [45] Ronald A. Havens, The Wisdom of Milton H. Erickson (Carmarthen: Crown House, 2007), p. 148. [46] Ibid, p. 150. [47] Ibid, p. 152. [48] Truth here being closer to the ancient Egyptian concept of Ma’at, the Goddess of Truth as ‘measurement’. Truth might be best seen as a measure of congruency between belief and arising evidence rather than one fixed object. [49] Carmen Bostick St. Clair and John Grinder, Whispering in the Wind (Scotts Valley, California: J & C Enterprises, 2001), pp. 164-5. [50] Much like an Aries with a Rising sign (Ascendent) of Leo and their Moon in conjunction with Saturn in Pisces is a different person to an Aries with Aquarius Rising and their Moon in Scorpio, Trine with Pluto, and Neptune. In one case we might perhaps suggest they are very much a King of Wands, in the other, a Queen of Cups. However, they still have the potential to be any Court card of the Tarot. [51] John Grinder & Frank Pucelik (ed.), The Origins of Neuro Linguistic Programming (Carmarthen: Crown House Publishing, 2013), p. 74. [52] See Lapakko, David, ‘Three Cheers for Language: A Closer Examination of a Widely Cited Study of Nonverbal Communication’ in Communication Education, Vol. 46 (January 1997). [53] Not, “Was there a time when you were successful?” which is a closed question that could be answered “no”. [54] These titles, terms and definitions were seen as the most likely to be “tested” on the trainers training I attended, as they are specific to this subject, although they can be rote-learned. I did not see several people write them down on their inner arms, I did not.

[55] Carmen Bostick St. Clair and John Grinder, Whispering in the Wind (Scotts Valley, California: J & C Enterprises, 2001), p. 148. [56] Ibid, p. 173. [57] Richard Bandler & John Grinder, Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, Vols. I & II (Cupertino: Meta Publications, 1975). [58] For a model of communication, NLP sometimes fails to make itself clear.

[59] There are studies to suggest that the rapport or relationship between client and

therapist is the most significant factor in change-work and personal insight, irrespective of the type of therapy employed in the sessions. [60] Milton H. Erickson & Ernest L. Rossi, ‘Varieties of Double Bind’ in Milton H. Erickson, The Nature of Hypnosis and Suggestion, Vol. I. (New York: Irvington Publishers, 1989), p. 412. [61] Ibid. [62] Milton H. Erickson, ‘Initial Experiments Investigating the Nature of Hypnosis’, from The American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis, October 1964, 7, pp. 152-162. [63] See also ‘Varieties of Double Bind’, Milton H. Erickson and Ernest L. Rossi from The American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis, January 1975, 17, pp. 143-157. [64] Milton H. Erickson & Ernest L. Rossi, ‘Varieties of Double Bind’ in Erickson, The Nature of Hypnosis and Suggestion, Vol. I. (New York: Irvington Publishers, 1989), p. 413. [65] Ibid, p. 421. [66] These may not be double binds in a specifically mathematical or linguistic sense, so I use the phrases generally, and there is much further discussion on the definitions and further binds, such as the reverse set double bind, etc. in Ibid, pp. 422-9. [67] D. Corydon Hammond, Handbook of Hypnotic Suggestions and Metaphors (New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 1990), p. 38. [68] A term from Richard Bandler & John LaValle, Persuasion Engineering (Capitola: Meta Publications, 2000), p. 170. [69] There does not appear to be any specific source for the use of a pocket watch or pendulum in hypnosis, although these tools found their way into popular imagination through movies. [70] Milton H. Erickson, ‘Initial Experiments Investigating the Nature of Hypnosis’, from The American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis, October 1964, 7, 152-162. [71] William H. O’Hanlon, & Michael Martin, Solution-Orientated Hypnosis (New York: W. W. Norton & Company, Inc, 1992), pp. 36-7. [72] And frustration can be a powerful state in a client when you wish to install a positive and unconscious pattern despite themselves. [73] Suspecting that I might be teaching this method a lot, many years ago I decided personally to always use the same state as a suggestion with the Betty Erickson Technique as I taught it to others. I chose the state of being thirteen and waking up and realising it was the first day of the summer holidays. I anchored this - and still do - to pressing my right thumb and first finger together. Now, many years later, I cannot help but feel that excited, hopeful, innocent feeling when I fire that simple trigger.

[74] Rubin Battino, & Thomas L. South, Ericksonian Approaches (Crown House Publishing: Carmarthen, Wales, 1999), pp. 292-294 [75] See scenes such as Dorothy Lamour being hypnotised by a pendulum in Road to Rio, (dir. Norman Z. McLeod), 1947. [76] Milton H. Erickson M.D. (1964) The “Surprise” and “My-Friend-John” Techniques of Hypnosis: Minimal Cues and Natural Field Experimentation, American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis, 6:4, 293-307, DOI: 10.1080/00029157.1964.10402364 [last accessed 12th November 2020]. [77] For a powerful representation of nested visualisations, see the film Inception (dir. Christopher Nolan), 2010. [78] The hand-shake interrupt has been popularised by Derren Brown on his TV show and no doubt has been tried in many playgrounds and colleges, thereafter, probably resulting in a lot of sprained wrists. [79] And if you have just tried it, that’s hypnosis for you. [80] See ‘The Cartographers of Dead Thoughts’, Elke Maier, in Max Plank Research 2.14 (2014), p. 70. [81] "Suggestibility is a trait to be found in every healthy human brain”, August Forel, Der Hypnotismus. Seine Bedeutung und seine Handhabung (Stuttgart: Enke, 1889), p. 88. [82] Vogt, Ibid, p. 42. [83] Ibid. [84] See ‘From Introspective Hypnotism to Freud's Self-Analysis. Procedures of SelfObservation in Clinical Practice’, in Andreas Mayer, Revue d'Histoire des Sciences Humaines, 2001/2 (no 5), pp. 171-196. [85] See Barbara L. Fredrickson, the “broaden and build” theory (2001), in ‘The role of positive emotions in Positive Psychology: The broaden and build theory of positive emotions’, American Psychologist. 56(3): pp. 218–226. [86] Robert Anton Wilson, Prometheus Rising (Tempe, Arizona: New Falcon Publications,1983) is an essential book for those who want to look further into their own reality tunnel. [87] I recommend Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway (London: Vermilion, 2019) as a popular and practical read, and the powerful work of Linda T. Sanford, Strong at the Broken Places: Overcoming the Trauma of Childhood Abuse (London: Virago Press, 2003). [88] Carmen Bostick St. Clair and John Grinder, Whispering in the Wind (Scotts Valley, California: J & C Enterprises, 2001), p. 319. [89] See Colin Feltham, Time-Limited Counselling (London: Sage Publications, 1997), p.47. [90] Randall Garrett, ‘The Foreign Hand-Tie’ in Analog Science Fact & Fiction (New York: Street & Smith Publications, December 1961), p. 123. [91] Rita B. Ardito & Daniela Rabellino, ‘Therapeutic Alliance and Outcome of Psychotherapy: Historical Excursus, Measurements, and Prospects for Research’ in Frontiers in Psychology, 2:270 (2011), “The emerging picture suggests that the quality of the client–therapist alliance is a reliable predictor of positive clinical outcome independent of

the variety of psychotherapy approaches and outcome measures” at th https://dx.doi.org/10.3389%2Ffpsyg.2011.00270 [Last accessed 10 December 2020]. [92] Carmen Bostick St. Clair and John Grinder, Whispering in the Wind (Scotts Valley, California: J & C Enterprises, 2001), p. 306. [93] Can one fire an anchor? Or anchor a trigger? [94] Similar to the KonMarie Method of ensuring that what is around you “sparks joy”, i.e., your environment provides many visual triggers to a positive kinaesthetic state. [95] John Grinder stated that the “operational life” of an anchor in this context is 7 +/- 2 minutes, and that is certainly a reasonable estimate. These are not the anchors that have been sunk in us for many years whilst in a more vulnerable state throughout childhood - or those created in a boot camp for an organisation in which we have enlisted, and where our life is at stake; in which case, when the whistle blows, we will go over the top. [96] Consider the “naughty step”. [97] Steve Andreas & Connirae Andreas, Change Your Mind and Keep the Change (Moab, Utah: Real People Press, 1987), pp. 61-9. [98] This is a hyper-specific variation of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, of course, but virtually no-one ever replicates that precise pyramid. [99] As one client put it, “that’s my entire life, everything, right there on that piece of paper”. [100] Robert Dilts, Sleight of Mouth (Cupertino: Meta Publications, 2006). [101] Designed by Robert Dilts. [102] The first time I experienced this pattern at the closing of a series of NLP courses, I had the “aha!” moment that NLP was a “tradition”, a set of teachings in development and passed in stories from one practitioner to another, with particular people providing the ‘great voices’, the lineage or heritage of the tradition. [103] Behavioural Therapy is a common route for a diagnosis of tic-like behaviour, see Mainka, T., Balint, B., Gövert, F., Kurvits, L., van Riesen, C., Kühn, A.A., Tijssen, M.A., Lees, A.J., Müller‐Vahl, K., Bhatia, K.P. and Ganos, C. (2019), The spectrum of involuntary vocalizations in humans: A video atlas. Mov Disord, 34: 1774-1791. doi:10.1002/mds.27855 [last accessed 4th November 2020]. [104] Nelson Zink and Joe Munshaw, ‘Collapsing Generalizations and the Other Half of NLP’ in NLP World, Vol.3 No.1 (March 1996). [105] Taken & developed from William H. O’Hanlon & Michael Martin, SolutionOrientated Therapy (New York: W. W. Norton, 1992), p. 177. [106] Tad James & David Shephard, Presenting Magically (Carmarthen: Crown House, 2001), pp. 140-4. [107] June Singer, ‘The Motif of the Divine Child’, in Jerimiah Abrams (ed.), Reclaiming the Inner Child (London: Thorsons, 1991), pp. 43-4. [108] The unrecognised puer will often go on a spiritual quest, for example, as a consolidation and validation of its self-regarding specialness compared with others and seek a closed system with fixed answers. These systems will provide validation and often an escape from the various frustrations of the everyday world. It will also offer the avoidance of the pain of recognising the fragmentation of identity. A developed psyche will come to look back at that quest for what it was, whilst engaging in a constant quest with

openness and engagement with the reality of daily life, see Jeffrey Satinover, ‘The Childhood Self and the Origins of Puer Psychology’, Ibid, pp. 137-8. [109] See John Bradshaw, Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child (London: Piatkus, 1990), pp. 82-7 for an “index of suspicion” that provides a useful starter for investigating the wounds of an inner child. [110] A general approach and workbook for those wishing to go further into this area can be found in Lucia Capacchione, Recovery of Your Inner Child (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1991). [111] In identity work, the use of the phrase “see with your own eyes” is a powerful ambiguity to “see with your own I’s”, particularly if you have seeded the concept of having “many I’s” in prior discussion. [112] See Stephen Wolinsky, The Dark Side of the Inner Child (Connecticut: Bramble Books, 1993). [113] See Richard Bandler & John LaValle, Persuasion Engineering (Capitola, California: Meta Publications, 1996). [114] See also Glasser’s Choice Theory, which postulates that behaviour (choice) is dictated primarily by five categories of need; survival, love (belonging and connection), freedom (autonomy), fun (learning) and power. In “power” we also have meaning, significance and competence. [115] I love the scenes of Michael Peña’s character Luis telling a story in the Ant Man films for this mode of story-telling, where each character is shown voicing the story exactly as Luis is telling it. [116] See Norma Barretta & Phillip Barretta, ‘The Use of Metaphor in Family Therapy’, in Charlotte Bretto Milliner, Judith DeLozier, John Grinder & Sylvia Topel, Leaves Before the Wind (Scotts Valley, California: Grinder, DeLozier & Associates, 1991), p. 44. [117] David Gordon, Therapeutic Metaphors (Cupertino, CA.: Meta Publications 1988), pp. 50-60. [118] Steve Lankton and Carol Lankton, The Answer Within (Crown House Publishers, 2008), pp. 245-311. [119] The audio recording of both Steve and Carol Lankton conducting a demonstration dual induction using a multiple embedded metaphor is a beautiful and powerful example of hypnotic language. It is available as Steve Lankton, & Carol Lankton (Speakers), The use of multiple embedded metaphor for psychological reassociation (1984) from the Milton H. Erickson Foundation. [120] Steve Lankton and Carol Lankton, The Answer Within (Crown House Publishers, 2008), pp. 245-311. [121] See also the film, Inception (dir. Christopher Nolan, 2010). [122] See excellent usages of ambiguous yet designed language such as Samuel Beckett’s Stirrings Still (London: John Calder, 1999) or any of the cut-up technique works by William Burroughs. [123] How do we know we are in a dream when we are dreaming? What tells us that a memory happened to us? Where does “I” go when we step back from ourselves? What changes in our representation and experience to mark our identity as self? How do we experience something if we feel as if we are not there?

[124] As an aside, it was 48 Hours that started a wave of re-popularisation of “buddy cop” movies, the precursor being Akira Kurosawa’s Stray Dog (1949). [125] Never waste a metaphor. [126] Never waste a state. [127] As Richard Bandler said, “Never waste a phobia”. [128] James D. Lawley & Penny L. Tompkins, Metaphors in Mind (London: The Developing Company Press, 2003), p. 54. [129] Robert Anton Wilson, The New Inquisition (Phoenix, Arizona: New Falcon Publications, 1986), pp. 123-4. De Bono introduced the idea of Po in Edward de Bono, The Mechanism of Mind (1969) and further developed it in Po: A Device for Successful Thinking (1972) and Po: Beyond Yes and No (1973). [130] See, however, Frank Farrelly & Jeffrey M. Brandsma, Provocative Therapy (Cupertino: Meta Publications, 1974). [131] http://www.cap.org.uk [Last accessed 10th December 2020]. [132] Modified from Colin Feltham, Time-Limited Counselling (London: Sage Publications, 1997). [133] One of the best books in my opinion for this type of work is Ronald A. Havens & Catherine Walters, Hypnotherapy Scripts: A Neo-Ericksonian Approach to Persuasive Healing (New York: Brunner/Mazel, 1989). [134] Larry being Larry Foley, an Australian boxer who won a large prize fight in the late 1800’s, prompting a New Zealand paper to announce the headline, “Happy as Larry”, which went into popular usage. [135] Although the original quote from Forrest Gump (1994) is told in the past tense, “My mom always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.” [136] Michael Conforti, Field, Form, and Fate: Patterns in Mind, Nature, & Psyche (Sheridan, Wyoming: Fisher King Press, 1999). [137] The suggestion of one student that this is a practice simply so I can watch adults count on their fingers is entirely spurious. [138] Dan Short, Betty Alison Erickson & Roxana Erickson Klein, Hope & Resiliency: Understanding the Psychotherapeutic Strategies of Milton H. Erickson M.D. (Carmarthen: Crown House Publishing, 2005), p. 13. [139] See James Hillman & Michael Ventura, We’ve Had a Hundred Years of Psychotherapy and the World’s Getting Worse (New York: HarperCollins, 1993). [140] See Karl K. Szpunar, Donna Rose Addis, Victoria C. McLelland,& Daniel L. Schacter, ‘Memories of the future: new insights into the adaptive value of episodic memory’ in Frontiers of Behavioural Neuroscience, 23rd May 2013, retrieved from https://doi.org/10.3389/fnbeh.2013.00047 [last accessed 8th December 2020].