My God Is Smiling at Me! 9985989376, 9789985989371

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Jael Puusaag

Jael Puusaag

MY GOD IS SMILING AT ME!

Photos: Ed Siddle and Sharon Bolister English-speaking editors: Dale Johnson, Donna Schoon, Lane Powell, Elizabeth Mair All Scripture taken from NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®,

Copyright© 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971,1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

©JaelPuusaag, 2008 ISBN 978-9985-9893-7-1

CONTENTS 2005................................................................................. 7

CHRISTIS PRAYING “TRUST IN ME!” LORD, BEHOLD, I AM YOUR SERVANT... GOOD SHEPHERD AND HIS SHEEP COME TO THE FATHER GOD, THE MASTER ARTIST IF GOD SAYS: “GO!” ARE YOU BLIND LIKE BARTIMAEUS? THE DARK NIGHT AT GENNESARET “FORI KNOW MY PLANS...” THE GREATEST NEED OF OUR WORLD MARY AND MARTHA THE TOUCH OF JESUS

9 11 13 14 16 19 24 27 30 34 37 41 44

2006............................................................................... 49 “NOTHING IS TOO HARD FOR ME!” “I LOVED YOU SO.... “ GOD IS CLOSE WHO IS OUR GOD? “ DO NOT BE AFRAID!” THE PUPPY ON THE STREET DAVID, LITTLE SHEPHERD-BOY THE CALL OF JESUS “THE FREEDOM IN CHRIST” GOD OF IMPOSSIBLE

51 54 57 59 61 64 68 72 74 78

2007................................................................................. 8i THE INVISIBLE LADY 83 “I HAVE LOVED YOU WITH AN EVERLASTING LOVE...”87 HOW TO BE A GODLY KING? 89

2005

CHRIST IS PRAYING

“Who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us."

(Romans 8:34)

Christ is praying, did you see Him? Did you hear His quiet voice? He for you is interceding that God would be your only choice.

He sees the burdens of the widows, He listens to the orphan’s cry. He knows when all your life is shadows, He knows when cloudy is your sky! He’s lifting up His hands to Heaven, scars of nails you clearly see. He’s asking: “Father, help My brethren, that victorious they might be!” He sees it when your heart is broken, He knows when you are bearing pain. And from His mouth the words are spoken: “Father, may they see the gain!

10

May they see that in the hardships You refine them to be pure, so they clearly see Your Lordship, so that then their faith is sure!

Father, make My joy completed; May they always stay with Me! The devil knows he is defeated, I destroyed him totally!

Let the children come with singing and elders walk in liberty, knowing that to them I’m bringing great joy for all eternity! Fill their hearts with living water, flowing straight out from Your throne, so that every son and daughter shall recognize them as My own!”

Christ is praying, did you see Him? Kneeling down before the throne. He for YOU is interceding! Come, you really are HIS OWN!!

"TRUST IN ME!”

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways

and My thoughts higher than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

The Lord our God is true and faithful, His plans are better than your ways. So trust in Him when life is painful, and let Him lead you every day! He makes ways to go through deserts; splits the rocks and calms the seas. He can count the stars in heaven! Peaceful in His hands you’ll be!

He knows your thoughts, and plans, and wishes; He loves you even when you fail! His hand is full of Heaven’s riches... and this is NOT a fairy-tale! He wants to bless you, give you presents that no one else on earth can bring. He wants to give you His own presence; Remember, He’s the King of Kings!

12 You find it hard to let Him lead you ... You say YOUR plans will not adapt! But He’s the One who formed and made you, He often led you in the past! The future seems so dark and scary as you look at it all alone. Not so with Him, the true and caring: He knows to lead you down the road!

Trust in Him and let Him show you just how He’s working out His plans. Don’t you worry for He’ll teach you, so that you’ll clearly understand!

His wisdom once created heavens, made you to be unique and fine. He knows how to guide the brethren, He’s done it since the ancient times!

Trust in Him: It’s really worth it! His ways are better than your own! He knows and loves you, He is worthy to let Him lead your life alone!

LORD, BEHOLD, I AM YOUR SERVANT...

Lord, behold, I am Your servant. Please come and lead me in Your way. May I be poured out in service, obeying Your voice every day! May I see those who are grieving and bring them comfort from Your heart. May I listen to the breathing of those who feel just torn apart.

May I be the earthen vessel, who’s holding treasures of Your love, so that those who are in hassles will come to drink from You above! Lord, behold, I am Your servant. You have made me for Your good plans. You first made me, then You saved me; Now all I have is in Your hands!

GOOD SHEPHERD AND HIS SHEEP

“I am the good shepherd, and I know my own and my own know me.” (John 10:14)

For Jesus says: “I know My sheep; My love for them is very deep. I want to lead them on My way, to guide and feed them every day! To them green pastures I can show where joy and gladness overflow. The quiet waters lay ahead where they find rest to heart and head. In situations dark as night I will not lose them from My sight! The things that seem like painful death, all come to life with My new breath!” “Well, yes, oh Shepherd, nice it seems, But I would rather have my dreams! I know myself, what way to go and do not want that You would show!

I like my own food, none of Yours; to find my own way, get MY scores!

15 I want the people ME to praise and singly my own life to raise!

The quiet waters ... what boring peace! I want the foam and noise and streams! I want all people on my side, to get attention like a bride!” “Now you, my dear, know little yet, that soon you will be weak and wet! The praise will hurt you, people too, your many dreams will not come true!

In thorny bushes you will be attempting to find security. And running from the wolves, you’ll find NO REST for either heart or mind! If that is really what you want, run for your life, your luck to hunt ... I love you so much that I will accept the choice of your free will! But then before you turn away, there’s one more thing I want to say: I’ll wait for you, hope you’ll come back, so I can say: ‘Son, welcome back!’

COME TO THE FATHER

I see you running down the street to find the place where we can meet. You come and say: “Lord, I am sorry, but I just have so many worries!” Your duty list is really long; you never have time to sing a song. When I suggest that you could pray, you cannot find the words to say ....

Yet under heavy burdens you are bent. In great hurrying your days are spent. And when you come to meet with Me, you are just crashing totally! Your friends and pastor help in this, when each of them just adds their wish: “This is the way you should behave: by being strong and bold and brave!

You need to read the Word much more; Plus need to raise your ‘good deeds’ score. Your prayer time should always be so full of praise and ‘intercedes’!” And you just feel like one more day like that, and you will fade away!

V You’re really trying, I can see, but having no more energy!

Come now to Me, My precious child, and lay your schedules all aside! Forget about your duty list and just relax; Be My guest! My love for you, My child, is big; Much bigger than eternity! The stars in heaven seem to say: “His love’s as long as the Milky Way!”

I love you just the way you are; I want to heal your every scar. I chose the color for your eyes and it was I who formed your size!

When you are in a place of fear, remember, I am always near! I’ve promised that with you I’ll stay, yes, even through the hardest day! When you are weak, My love you’ll find. I’ll help you see when you feel blind. In sorrow and anxiety My love is your security! The earth and sky may pass away, My love for you will always stay! Sick or healthy, strong or weak I’ve loved you through all eternity!

18

You do not have to carry masks! You will receive just when you ask! You are the “Apple of My Eye”, I’ll never lose you from My sight! Still find it hard to come to Me? Then lift your eyes to Calvary! My love for you has been so big, it cost My life to set you free!

Just come, My child, just come away and in My loving arms then stay! There love and peace, security You’ll find for all eternity!

GOD, THE MASTER ARTIST

You often feel like life is gray, with nothing interesting on the way. Day in and out, only work and sleep, there’s nothing new, there’s nothing deep ....

You’re getting tired of the rut. You want to be excited, but there is just nothing on the way; even the sky is wet and gray!

Well, take a moment, come with me, to the greatest art gallery! It’s really not so far away, and starts exactly where you stay!

Yes, yes, right here, right now you’ll see a great and awesome masterpiece! Created by the Lord above with signature: “To you, beloved!” Look at the cobweb at your right... don’t scream, no spiders in the sight! The simple water drops, you’ll see, have changed to precious jewelry! Now lift your eyes up to the sky, you’ll see an airborne butterfly.

20 So fragile, yet so beautiful, with wings so brightly colorful! Then turn your eyes, look slowly down. First you will see just soil so brown. But please kneel down and you will see life - so full of much variety!

The Master Artist by His word created little ladybirds! And then again, just by His word all bees and ants were sent to work! You say now: “Where’s the art you see? It’s all so usual and plain to me! I’ve seen this since I was a child; I need to see things big and wild!”

No problem. Let us go and walk to great, “big and wild” waterfalls! As water tumbles down, it frees huge quantities of energy! Now try to count the tones you see, all of the whites and blues and greens! The water colorless should be... This is a part of the masterpiece!

Now, let’s go and spend an hour on a meadow with the flowers! You say again: “Ah, it’s just grass”. But please, DO look before you pass!

21

Now try to count, how many kinds of them you see with just your eyes! They’re higher, lower, big and small; the Master Artist made them all!

Come close and touch their fragile leaves, enjoy their smell before you leave! And each of them will say to you: “The Master Artist cares for you!” Then take a paper, try to draw some of the flowers that you saw! But try it so that they will be as small and detailed as you see! “Oh no, I can’t,” you say just now. “I would need at least an hour!” You say: “Impossible it is just to find so small a brush for leaves!”

So do you want to see some more? Let’s walk to nature’s music store! Let’s go and listen to some birds, enjoy their worship without words! If you write down their melodies, you’d really get a symphony! Each of the birds will say again: “The Master Artist loves you, friend!”

The sun came out, you look, and wow! You see a rainbow in the clouds!

22

The rays of sun and drops of rain together take your breath away! It’s beautiful beyond the words! And you just wonder how it works. Who turned the water colorless, to something so magnificent? Many rooms in the gallery, but you grow tired, I can see. So, let’s go home and take a break, and then the final tour we’ll take! With a glass of juice, come sit down, for soon the sun is going down! You’ll see a painting on the sky unfold there right before your eyes! It just takes one blink of the eye for Him to color all the sky! As you’re watching, the sky would say: “The Master Artist knows His ways!”

So when again your life is gray, just please remember what I say: “You’re not an accident at all; The Master Artist planned it all!” He knows what colors He will choose, which details are the best to use. And when He’s finished, you will be amazed at all that He just did!

23

Relax and let Him work in you, that’s the best thing you can do! He takes the colorless and gray, and works them into something great!

And when again you cannot see, go back into His gallery! And every “room” will say out loud: “It is for you, from Him, beloved!”

IF GOD SAYS: "GO!’

Have you heard God speak to you, showing new things you should do, showing places you should go, saying: “I want YOU to go” ? Did you really understand? God wants YOU right now to stand, to say to Him: “Yes, Lord, I will, if You just lead me, do Your will!”

You did not choose Him, He chose you, planned the things that you should do! He’ll give you all the strength you need, through every day your steps He’ll lead! You say now: “This is really nice, but why am I the only choice? I’m not a preacher, cannot sing... what can I bring to my King?

Let Billy Graham stand and preach; let my pastor always teach! Let my friend, the evangelist try to go convert Buddhists! But me? I’m not a star so bright, you almost cannot see my light!

25 I daily stumble, sin and fall, I’m a forgiven sinner, that is all!” God did not say that only you everything alone should do! Instead your Father says to you: “My Child, but I will carry you!” He will be strong when you are weak; He will re-fill you when you “leak”. He will provide for all your needs and help you find the words to speak!

Don’t you worry, He never will send you alone to do His will! But in His love, He chose you to participate in what He’ll do! He’ll be the One to lead your feet, He’ll use your hands for meeting needs. He’ll be the One who speaks through you and in the process change you too! You’ll be a “postman” of His love, a messenger of God above. You’ll be amazed when you will see: words from your mouth bring liberty!

So do not fear, He promised you to always, always be with you! If He has promised, He’ll do so but He wants YOU to obey and go!

26

You take one step and He’ll take two to show that He is glad for you! If you just trust Him, obey His words, then all the rest is HIM at work!

He’s choosing vessels all so weak to show that He is all you need! And then through you the others bring glory to your Awesome King! "For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the Earth that HE may strongly support those whose

heart is completely His!” (2 Chron.16: 9)

ARE YOU BLIND LIKE BARTIMAEUS?

(Mark 10:46-52)

Have you traveled in the night at the middle of a sea? Not a single ray of light, nothing, NOTHING you can see... Only darkness... that was all that blind man Bartimaeus could see. He sat by the road to Jericho, begging: “People, help me, please!” He had heard that there was one man who helped the blind that they could see, who helped the lame to walk and stand... His name was Jesus the Nazarene.

One day Bartimaeus had come and sat down again just by the way. Then heard: “The Nazarene will come, He will be passing by today!”

The blind man knew: that was his chance! “I cannot let this Jesus pass!

28

He needs to see me, hear my voice, I need to shout, I have no choice!” Then he heard a lot of noise, a big crowd coming down the street. He knew, he had to raise his voice, he knew, there was the Nazarene!

“Jesus, Son of David, please, please be merciful on me! I know that only You still can really help a poor blind man!” Others said: “ Oh, please shut up!” But Bartimaeus did not give up. He even louder called His name! And Jesus heard, stopped on His way.

“What is it that you want from Me?” “Oh Lord, if only I could see! I know that You can do it so that the blind from birth can see and go! Then Jesus said: “So may it be, your faith has brought you liberty! Go home and tell the others too, the Nazarene gave sight to you!”

How often also you and I feel like we just cannot see! Life seems hopeless, dull and gray, there seems to be no better way!

29

We seek for mercy, love and ease, we want to find the inner peace! But others cannot understand or they themselves just barely stand! You’re tired of the false ideas that people tell you everywhere. But I have something good to say: “The Nazarene is on the way!” Do not listen to the others who say to you: “Oh, just be strong!” Do not use the masks to cover everything that has gone wrong! Call out His name in your despair, He’ll pay attention, see and hear! He’ll stop to ask you what you need, in Him there’s peace and liberty!

Do not give up, keep calling out! Come, give to Him your fears and doubts! He’ll heal your wounds, return your sight and you’ll have life full of His light! But when He helps you, He will say: “Now, do not simply run away! But instead, come follow Me and tell the others what I did!”

THE DARK NIGHT AT GENNESARET

(Mark 6:47-53)

Does it sometimes seem to you that even God’s forgotten you? The waves of worries fill your head; you just can’t see a way ahead...

Once Jesus’ disciples had a lot of work in front of them. Jesus had provided bread and made them serve 5000 men! They were so tired after that! Their only wish was to lie down. But Jesus said: “I tell you that you go and cross the lake right now!” “But Jesus, how can You not see, the storm is coming on the sea! The wind is blowing strong enough to make our journey long and tough!

And what?! You say that you’ll stay here? So we have no one help us there!

31 Okay, we will obey You, go ahead, but it’s Your fault, if we are dead!”

With hardened hearts they sail away. Jesus stays behind to pray. And sure enough, the storm breaks forth, waves hit the boat with mighty force.

The night is passing by, but they still continue on their way. There’s total darkness all around, wind and waves the only sound. “Why did Jesus make us leave, to come out here to fight alone? He’s surely sleeping, full of peace, not even caring for His own!” No, Jesus did not sleep that night. He knew exactly where they were. The Bible tells, He SAW them fight, walked on the sea to meet them there!

But it was night, how could He see? There were no lights to show the way! Four miles away out on the sea, a little boat between big waves! But He saw... and went to help His disciples in their fight. He came when they had lost all hope to ever see again daylight!

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For them, there seemed to be no way to call to Jesus: “Save our souls!” No bridges, planes or radio-waves, not even any other boats! Jesus came Himself, in the way which human eyes had never seen. He was not afraid of the waves, He came by WALKING on the sea!

He said to them: “Fear not! It’s Me! I will not hurt, I’ll help instead.” Wow! The storm stopped immediately! The waves and wind just disappeared! All the disciples worshipped Him, and in this boat fell on their knees: “You truly are a Mighty King, You can rule the winds and seas!” Maybe Jesus speaks to you and wants you to go ahead; tells you hard things you’re to do... You just want to sleep instead! You see the problems on the way, You quickly want to run and hide! But I ask you: “Please, would you stay? Obey Him still, go out and try!”

He’ll never turn His eyes from you, He’ll follow you through all your fight.

33

And then, when He will come to you, you’ll get to know Him in a new light! You’ll find Him solving many things that seemed impossible to you. You’ll see that He can calm the winds, walk on the water to get to you!

And when you face the next dark night, wind and waves all surrounding you, You’ll know that He will win the fight, He’s strong enough and He’s with you! “Mightier than the thunder of the great waters, mightier than the breakers of the sea,

the Lord on High is mighty!" (Psalm 93:4)

"FOR I KNOW MY PLANS .

“For I know the plans that I have for you"

declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope”

(Jeremijah 29:11)

How many times we, people, do seek from God to live pain-free: “ ‘I have plans to prosper you...’ that’s what the Bible says to me!”

We run to God and tell Him: “Fast! Bless my plans and give me peace! I want my easy life to last, my health and wealth to be increased!” We snap our prayer-finger and expect prosperity, success. Just as we say so, let God stand, come running to clean up our mess! We read the verses that we like outside of context totally. We say: “I want a mountain-bike!” It’s written: “Ask and you’ll receive!” We give Him lists of our dreams and tell God: “That’s the best for me!”

35 When not fulfilled, tears come in streams, we cry: “Have You forgotten me?” We do not like when someone says: “Trust Him; let Him lead your way!” Yes, we like to see He cares, but don’t want to repent, obey...

From God the Israelites had heard “70 years will pass, not two! So have families and watch your herds, grow strong, for I have plans for you...” They didn’t like it! Not at all! They wanted freedom, here and now! But God’s the Ruler after all, HE knows, what’s good, and when and how!

You’ve never seen your future yet, how can you know then what is good? That’s why I want to tell you that the best to do is trust in God! He knows, what plans He has for you, how He can use you, what’s your place. So in His grace He’s changing you, making you a reflection of His face!

Yes, many times we feel it hurts. Each broken dream will cause us pain. But at the end we’ll see it’s worth: what is Christ-like in us, will stay!

36

He’s the Sculptor, we are the clay. He is at work in me and you. He knows what parts to cut away, what to add, what has to be smoothed.

His plan is not just giving you that easy painless life you want. Instead, He is transforming you from a piece of coal to a diamond! And then, wherever you will go, people everywhere will see: “God has made you pure as gold, a reflection of the Lord indeed!”

THE GREATEST NEED OF OUR WORLD

My friend, come, let’s go for a walk! As we are walking, we can talk about the things we hear and see while watching our society.

Turn on the radio. You’ll hear: “She loved me so, she was so dear. But then she went, left me behind, and now my heart just wants to die!” 0, that’s too sad... let’s watch TV! Get your remote, just click and see... It’s the time for “Oprah” show with women who’ve gotten lots of blows.

Their husbands once said: “Yes, I do! I’ll always love and care for you!” And then one time he got so mad, his wife was beaten really bad.

A “soap” from Mexico comes next. You know by heart all its text: “To him belong my heart and head, but he really likes my friend instead!”

38 Enough of that... you click again and get the news of CNN: “ A hurricane just swept away the whole town like stacks of hay!” You go for a walk, to leave all that. Then go to the Internet to chat. And just as you’ve turned on your screen, there comes an ad, plain pornography!

A newspaper has a story that a movie-star called this-and-that just left his wife, the third in a row, to find a younger one to show! And so it goes... they all, you see, seek for love and security, for something certain that will stay when all the rest is swept away! They keep on trying, here and there. Always thinking: “Now, I’ve found it here!” And again it turns out to be a mirage, an empty dream, indeed!

The whole world is full of pain; nothing ever seems to stay. You think, there’s nothing you can do! But wait, I have some news for you.

Both you and I, we know someone, in fact, He is the Only One,

39

who’s always there, will always befrom Adam’s time to eternity. He’s always faithful, always true. He has a message for you, too: “In Me, you’ll find just all you need: Love, peace and trust, security. Stop seeking elsewhere, come to Me! I love you so, I want to be your Father, Savior and your Friend; faithful, loving to the end!

You cannot ever earn My love. It’s a gift from Me to you, beloved. No strings nor signs attached to that I’ll never say: “You owe Me that!”

Come, rest in Me, receive from Me, let My love fill all your needs. And then, go, tell the others, too: “I’ve found the Love that WILL stay true!” Go tell the fatherless and sad: “He really wants to be your Dad!” Go, stay with those who hurt and mourn, to show: “He CAN heal a heart so torn!”

To those who suffer, you can show: “He knows the pain of every blow!” To widows and divorced you’ll say: “Your Faithful God will ALWAYS stay!”

40

The world around you does not need discussions, deep theology. They need to see My love and care, that’s why, My Child, I’ve placed you there! You stay in Me, abide in Me, let Me fulfill your deepest needs. Then give this love to others, too. THAT is the goal of life for you!”

MARY AND MARTHA

(Luke 10:38-42)

Jesus seeks for quiet corners where just the two of you could meet, where you could put aside the torments of busy schedules, duties, needs.

He wants to fill your soul with laughter instead of worries, give you peace. He wants to say: “My son or daughter, please just come and rest in Me!”

Don’t run away... He does not hurt you! He loves you, you to Him are dear. His hand is ready here to bless you, if only you let Him come near! You say: “But, my heart is bleeding! I cannot come right here and now! There are many who are needing my helping hands, my ears right now!” So you hide away your struggles, YOUR broken heart still needs to wait, many times a day you bubble out sentences like “All is great!”

42 Once two sisters, friends of Jesus, invited Him into their home. Very soon, one said to Jesus: “Why must I serve You alone? Tell my sister, she should help me! There’s still so much I need to do! I try my best to really serve Thee, but she just sits and talks to You!”

Do you feel like this one sister, that all the work is left for you? But in your heart you hear a whisper: “1 want to spend some time with you!”

“But,” you say, “they so much need me!” The world is full of needs, it’s true! But to serve them, you are needing some time for Jesus to feed you.

Don’t start your lists of “pray-for-needy”, put kids’ clubs programs all aside. Don’t follow plans of Bible reading. Instead, just come, rest for a while! “Martha, Martha!”, Jesus answered, “Your worries grow beyond your head. Mary chose the better answer: she listens to My words instead!”

Come to Jesus, be like Mary. Listen when He wants to speak.

43

Later, you won’t be so weary while helping others meet their needs. Listen... He may want to tell you some things that help to heal your heart. He may have new plans to show you or bind up hidden broken parts. Let Him take His time and fill you: let HIM bring healing to your pain. And then, my friend, I sure can tell you this time with Him won’t be in vain!

THE TOUCH OF JESUS

My friend, you’re having lots of pain... you try to hide it, but in vain. You ask yourself: “Does someone care? Is someone close enough to hear?”

You could meet the psychologists, each of them will give you some lists: “The 7 steps to a happy life”; “How you could be the perfect wife”... And even all your friends just say: “Get over it, MOVE on your way! Life’s full of many treasures, see! Just shake yourself and you’ll be free!”

But you just cannot... pain so big still hurts your heart, so bad, so deep. You wonder, if you ever could live life again the way you should? Maybe you saw a loved one die, now all you want is just to cry... Or guilt and shame for things done wrong don’t ever let your joy last long.

You even sometimes think that God is an angry old man with a rod

45 who waits to give “what you deserve”, and fear of Him just kills your nerves!

So, you run and try to hide all your struggles deep inside, thinking: “I will let no one see, what really happens inside me!” But, my friend, just let me say: “I know Someone who has a way to heal the deepest wounds in me, to bring my heart to liberty!

His name is Jesus the Nazarene. The only one who’s always been interested in all that you do knowing all of your struggles too. He is God who once came down, had a human body of His own. He became like one of us, faced pain, temptations just like us. His heart was full of love and care, with compassion He came near, touched the lepers, healed the blind, said: “Just seek, and you shall find...”

He had time to bless the kids, He often made some extra trips to find and help those who had been rejected by their society.

46 One widow lost her only son. She wept and thought: “All hope is gone!” But Jesus came and touched his head and brought him back to life from dead! Another woman, sick, unclean didn’t know how much she’d been to all kinds of doctors, all in vain, none of them could cure her pain.

But Jesus, He passed by one day. The woman touched Him on the way. And the presence of His power brought immediately the health she sought! You say now: “This is all so nice! I’ve read these stories at least twice! But Jesus isn’t here right now, He lived 2000 years ago!”

But I can tell you, my dear friend, this is not the story’s end! I live right now and so do you, I’ve had my pains and struggles too.

I’ve had days when I would try to be so glad, but want to cry, days when there’s no strength to stand, you feel like no one understands... But then, the Nazarene came near and said: “My child, I’m always near!

47

Even on your the darkest days My love for you is still the same! You did not choose Me, I chose you, I know your hurts and struggles, too. I know, how painful it has been, Your every tear, My child, I’ve seen!

And even when you feel so bad, I smile at you, I’m still so glad that you, My child, belong to Me, so let Me help you to be healed! Tell Me of the pain you have, tell Me, what has made you sad. Let Me come and clean your mess, instead of pain bring happiness!” Let Jesus come and touch your pain, let Him wipe your tears away. Let Him show that He loves you because He comes and touches you!

His touch has made the lepers clean, because of Him, the blind could see. And now, I, here, can say to you: “He has healed me, will heal you too!” Come to Him, give Him your pain. Don’t try to hide nor run away. And then you’ll see what He will do: He’ll touch YOUR life and heal you too!

2006

“NOTHING IS TOO HARD FOR ME!”

Two days ago was New Year’s Eve. People shouted happily: “May the new beginning be a fulfillment of your many dreams!” But you were sitting in your room, hating all the noise and boom. You’d say: “I hate the thought of that! yeah, fill my dreams... but dreams of what?

Nothing new would cross my way! Every day is just the same! Cook the lunch and watch TV, worried, where’d my husband be?

My kids are noisy, mom is old, I seem to always catch a cold. And sometimes it just seems to me, that even God’s forgotten me!”

But take a break and come with me, turn off the stove, forget TV. Let’s go wherever you would like, a quiet park or shores of a lake...

52 Then imagine, God is there and says: “My child, I’m glad you’re here! Ask Me anything you please: NOTHING is too hard for Me!

For a moment, put aside all hindrances that come to mind. Think: if life would fill your dreams, what are the things you want to see? Don’t think of things you should avoid, instead, tell Me, what brings you joy? What makes your heart rejoice and sing? What makes you really praise your King?

Don’t even think: “It cannot be!” NOTHING is too hard for Me! I move the mountains, split the seas, heal the sick, set captives free. Don’t limit Me with what you know, don’t ask Me questions: “When?” and “How?” Let Me show you, My dear child, your dreams for Me are not too wild! I CAN do it, trust in Me! Give Me your hand and you will see that when you follow where I lead, then I Myself will fill your needs!” You say: “Oh, I’d wish it’s true! but I have things to say to You...

53

I’ve had my dreams, I ‘m telling You, but none of them have yet come true. I’m tired of the pain it brings, my heart’s forgotten how to sing. There’s nothing special on my way, my life’s just all so dull and gray! And now You tell me: “Try again!” No, thanks, I’ve had enough, my Friend!” You sadly laugh and go away... But wait, He still has more to say! Remember, Abraham laughed too! God said: “I’ll give a son to you!” He thought, all nonsense it would be. But God said: “NOT too hard for Me!

But you must be able to let go of strategies that are your own. HIS plans and methods, timing too all seem impossible to you!

But when He’ll do it, you will see: “NOTHING is too hard for Me! You’ll bring Me praise, and honor too, you’ll see that I can care for you!”

"I LOVED YOU SO.... '

Have you thought what could you do that God, your Father would like you? Should you be busy all the day, love everybody on the way?

Should you always want to pray, wear a smiling face all through the day? Should you always help and serve even those who kill your nerves? Build cathedrals, worship loud, have services that bring big crowds? Let all your friends and neighbors see: you pray with tears, down on your knees? He says: “My child, it’s all in vain! My love for you is still the same! I’ve loved you just the way you are, come to Me, bring Me your scars.

You need to understand, My child, My love for you has been so wild, so big and endless, that you see: you don’t need to impress Me!”

When Jesus came, He wept, was sad, Sometimes people made Him mad.

55 He felt compassion for the weak, He too had sorrows, very deep. He loves you so... He bared His back, took cruel beatings, not fighting back. Pulled His cross all through the town, endured the mocking, thorny crown...

His power could have changed it all! He could have killed both big and small! Remember, winds and waves obeyed His words when He said: “Stay away!” But He stayed there, endured the pain, kept walking further on the way that took Him up to Calvary, to show His love for you and me.

The nails were pierced into His hands and soldiers said: “Hey, godly man! Come, leave the cross and we believe, that you were sent by God indeed!”

But He loves YOU... that made Him stay. Now all of us can boldly say: “God loves us just the way we are, there is no need to shine like stars!” We really can’t do anything to give impressions to our King! He met us at the lowest place and said: “My child, lift up your face!

56 Just receive it thankfully, what My Son has done for thee. Then go and tell the others, too: “The King of Heaven cares for you!””

GOD IS CLOSE

Cod is close to the broken-hearted, wipes the tears that no one sees. He sees and knows your every heart-beat, stays always close when others leave. He listens to the cries of widows, comforts orphans in their pain. He knows it when you walk through shadows, He will be there throughout your day.

When you feel weak, His grace is stronger, when you are sad, He’ll be your joy. When you just weep, can’t hold it longer, He’ll cry with you, then give you joy.

Don’t hide yourself behind a curtain, don’t carry masks: “Oh, I’m ok!” God will be there, it is for certain, He wants to come and heal your pain! You cover pain and hide your tears, thinking: “Oh well, no one cares! I don’t want that others see, that I’m so emotional and weak!”

But listen , God wants you to know: “I can handle every blow!

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Tell Me all, the way it is, don’t carry masks before Me, please! Say it out: “Life is unfair!” Don’t cover pain, instead come, share everything you think and feel. Come, be honest in front of Me!

Only after that you see, My endless love will make you free! I want to heal and comfort you, then you can comfort others, too!

I want to come to the hopeless night and bring with Me new life and light. I want to take your pain and sorrow, transform it into hope tomorrow!

And through that process you will see, you can always trust in Me! Life will be hard, and often so, BUT I CAN HANDLE EVERY BLOW!”

WHO IS OUR GOD?

Our God is my Redeemer, He’s my Saviour, Father, Friend. He has also been my Healer, He’s the Beginning and the End.

His love is deeper than the oceans, His grace is wider than the seas. His care is softer than the lotions, His righteousness will never cease. He’s the One who’s called Provider, He knows to satisfy your needs. He’s the Creator, Master, always wiser than any of our plans and deeds. He’s my Comforter and Helper, He guides me through the pain and fear. He listens, understands and helps me to rest in peace, for He stays near.

He is called Eternal Father, He is also Prince of Peace. He’s the Spring of Living Water, He’s the only true High Priest. He’s the Bread of Life for hungry, Good Shepherd to the lonely sheep.

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Yes, it’s true, SIN makes Him angry. But His love for SINNERS is so deep! He’s the glorious King of Heavens, the most highly honored Majesty. Still, He comes to help His brethern, steps down into humility. He wants to come and live within you, if you just open up your heart. He really, really, really loves you! Please don’t be so scared, so hard!

He’s the One who wants to teach you, show the way that’s right and firm. Don’t wait until the Day He’ll judge you, for then eternally you’ll burn! Come now, and get to know my Healer, receive forgiveness for your past. Then accept Him as your Leader who leads through death to life that lasts!

" DO NOT BE AFRAID!”

Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them: «Peace be with you!» (John 20:19)

Listen, oh my friend so dear, you say that life is full of fear, that all the worries for tomorrow don’t let you sleep and bring you sorrow!

You say, your problems are so big, they soak up energy indeed. You think your paycheck is so small, it never seems to cover all! Your rent is high, your car is old, you think you’ll never get it sold. Your kids are grumpy, often sick, you think it needs a magic trick

to keep it holding all together... It seems your problems last forever! You then give up, remain in fear, forgetting God who still stays near!

The friends of Jesus had just seen, how Jesus, King of Kings had been nailed on the cross, died hanging there, was buried in a tomb quite near.

62 All strength was lost, all hope was gone, nothing more they could have done. They were together, scared to death, thought: “Soon we, too, will take last breath! What hope is there if He is dead? We wish that we had died instead! And soon the Jews will kill us all... Why did we follow Him at all?”

All doors were locked, they stayed inside, thinking: “Enemies won’t find a way to us, if we stay here!” But still, their hearts were full of fear! But God had plans they did not know... He had something great to show: that Jesus was no longer dead, He’d returned to life instead!

He came and met them where they were, immediately He said: “Don’t fear! Come, see and touch Me, if you please, instead of fear I’ll give you peace!” «lt’s great,» you say, “but don’t you know, it happened MANY years ago! My life is full of problems NOW, I’d like to win the fear, but how?”

How far is Jesus from your door? The distance of your knees from floor!

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He says: “My child, please do not fear, I’ve promised you, I will stay near!

I I I I

was the One who conquered death, was the One who gave you breath! know exactly all your needs, know of all your thoughts and deeds!

Tell Me, what has brought you sorrow, what things have made you fear tomorrow? Let Me lead you through your night, let Me give you hope and light! Remember, I’m no longer dead, I am the King of Kings instead! All power, fame, authority one day will bow in front of Me!”

You say now: “But I cannot see! The future is so dark to me!” But take His hand, He’s strong enough to lead you through what’s dark and tough!

He can take your hopeless night, bring into that, new hope and light. And after storms have gone away, you’ll see the morning of new day! Matthew 28: 20 "Lo, I will be with you

always till the ends of the Earth!"

THE PUPPY ON THE STREET

A little puppy was out on the streets. He was hungry and lost; he had so many needs. He was looking for someone who could be a source of food, love and security. A man went by, walked on that street. The puppy ran, laid at his feet, followed him just everywhere, thought: “He’ll love me if I stay near!” But this man had no eyes to see a little puppy with big needs. He hit the puppy, said: “Go home! And do it fast! Leave me alone!” The puppy was sad and cried alone: “Would anybody, please, take me home? My stomach is hurting; I am lonely and lost, I would love you back for whatever cost!” A little bit later a girl went by, The puppy ran fast and tried to say “Hi!” She patted his head, then left him alone, said: “Mom wouldn’t like you in our home!

We already have cats and a baby as well, take care, little puppy, I hope you’ll be well!”

65 And again our puppy, alone he would be, thinking: “Would anyone ever be loving to me?”

The morning had passed, the hours went by. Our dear little puppy would constantly try to make himself lovable, win people’s hearts, to show himself so cute and so smart. But nothing... nobody seemed to be willing to say: “You belong to me!” The night was coming, the puppy was scared: “If I stay here, soon I will be dead!” Then a small boy ran to him, still far away, he called: “My Bim! How on the earth did you get here? I looked for you just everywhere!

Why did you try to run away? Why with your mother you won’t stay? Come, little puppy, home with me, you must be hungry, cold indeed!

Don’t be afraid of punishment! I love you so, that’s why I spent so many hours, tried to find where you, my friend, had gone to hide! Next time, listen to what I say: please do not ever run away! You can’t find love, security anywhere else but at home with me!”

66

*****

Often we would also be like little puppies on the street. We've run away from our Father, our own desires take us further. One day we notice, we are losttry finding love at any cost, try pleasing others, just to see: “Would anyone show love to me?”

We get rejected, hurt so deep, it seems like no one meets our needs. We feel alone and full of fear, thinking: “Would anybody ever care?”

But then, one day we realize: It really hasn’t been so wise to run away from God, His care. We wish that now He would be here! But He is! He’s standing next to you, saying: “Finally, you seek Me too! Come home, My child, come home with Me, I’ll give you love, security!

Your place is in My family, you know that you belong to Me! Life has been hard for you, I know, come, let Me heal your wounds and blows!

67 Come home, My child, come home, My friend! My love for you will never end! And when your needs are met in Me, you’ll know true love, security!

DAVID, LITTLE SHEPHERD­ BOY

But the Lord said to Samuel: "Do not look at his appea­

rance or the height of his stature, for the Lord has not chosen him. For people see what is in front of eyes, but

the Lord sees what is in the heart!" (1 Samuel 16:7)

David, little shepherd boy watched his sheep out there one day. The day was sunny, he was glad. He had no reason to be sad! He knew he really loved his sheep... and then he noticed something deep: “The Lord Himself is Shepherd too! He guides the hearts of me and you!

He’s the best One to provide, through death and darkness He will guide. I am safe and happy here, because my Shepherd is so near!” Then he saw his brother run, get to him and say: “Fast, come! The prophet Samuel came by, and looked for you, I don’t know why!”

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David ran, and sure, indeed Samuel said: “That’s you I need! God told me, one day YOU shall be the king of Israel and me!” “Me? How come? I am so small! I am the youngest of them all! The only thing that I can do is take my harp and sing to you!

But this is not a job for kings... they need to fight and not to sing! How can I be strong and lead? What will my brothers think of me?” “Still, my shepherd boy, you know, you really love your God and so the Lord has shown me, He wants you. What He will tell you, you will do!

The oil of anointment is in my hand, because in front of the king I stand. And through all the power, fame you will glorify HIS name!” “But I’m so incapable and weak! From all my brothers, why just me? Take Eliab, he is strong and tall, he’d be a king, the best of all!” “No, David, God has said to me, He doesn’t choose by what we see.

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We think that someone is so smart, but God can see what’s in his heart!

He will show you what to do, He will guide and shepherd you! He’ll lead you through the pain and fear, in all your struggles He’ll stay near!” *****

Many years had quickly past, but David’s struggles seemed to last. The old king, Saul, from hurt and pride made David always flee and hide! He ran for life, hid in the caves, thinking: “Where is all this fame, that You, oh Lord, had promised me? But even here, I’ll trust in Thee!"

God used this time and shaped his heart and made him strong and fast and smart. And through the pain, humility he learned to trust God totally.

So later, 40 years he’d be the king who led in dignity. He solved the conflicts, won the wars, but still kept GOD above his all. He knew that God must be His King, to Him he’s owing everything! He knew that without Him he’d still be a simple shepherd watching sheep!

71 ******

What does it show to you and me? A life surrendered totally, a man who’s after God’s own heart, who follows Him through good and hard. “But I’m not David’’, you would say, “with my own sheep I want to stay! I don’t want challenges so big, I really like my life indeed!

Yes, I’d like to have the fame, but not to run and hide in caves! I want the blessings, quickly so, but please, without a single blow!” God shapes you and me today often through the struggles, pain. Then we will learn that He’ll stay near even through the pain and fear!

We pass through storms, He’s with us there, He takes your hand and says: “Don’t fear!” That gives us strength and we will see: "The Lord, my Shepherd, is with me!” He wants to glorify His name, use you and me to bring HIM fame. And then the world around will see: HE is the King for you and me!

THE CALL OF JESUS

Jesus says: “Please do not fear! I promised you, I will be here! If I send you and you obey, I’ll be the One to show the way! Go, tell the others what I did, how you have learned to trust in Me. Don’t be ashamed of My Good News, your friends and neighbors need it, too!” You say: “But I just do not know! I have no skills, my speech is slow! I get so nervous when I speak... Send anybody else but me!

What if this will hurt my friends? I’d hate to see a friendship end! I know it well, I’d speak in vain, they won’t believe me anyway!

Nothing so special is in my story, nothing so great to bring You the glory. And after all, I am a foreigner, I speak with an accent that is not clear!

Take my old pastor, he can speak! Take Billy Graham, but leave me!

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I do not have any abilities to do what You are asking of me!”

“Listen, My child, I have chosen just you! You won’t go alone, I am coming with you! You never know what the Lord can do through weak, broken vessels exactly like you! I will give you words to say, I will guide you on the way. Yes, some will think, you are a fool, and it’s ok, I’ve heard it too! You say: “What will they do to me?” Remember what they did to Me! I gave up all My fame and glory to rescue you, change your life’s story!

Don’t be afraid, but go and speak And don’t forget, you’re there with Me! If you are willing and obey, I’ll be the One to show the way!”

"THE FREEDOM IN CHRIST”

“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace in time of need.” (Heb. 4:16)

Brothers, sisters, have you thought how great’s the freedom that Christ brought? He came to set the captives free, and that’s including you and me!

Your Father cares for you, you know! That’s what Christ came down to show. He’ll comfort you when you are sad: rejoice with you when you are glad!

You don’t have to be afraid! The Cross of Christ has cleared the way for people who are full of sin to come to God, find peace within. If you invite Him to come in, His blood will cleanse you from within. He’ll erase the bad things from the past and give new hope and life that lasts. Because of Him, we freely come to God and He will say: “Welcome!”

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We can come just as we are, He forgives our sins, heals wounds and scars. Other people everywhere seek the Lord, hope He is near. They wash their faces, hands and heads, five times a day they bow their heads. They do their duties every day, with hope that this will make a way for them to find the grace of God... But oh, these rules are just so hard!

They pray in a language not their own, they must have no emotions shown: “While praying, do not laugh or cry, or God will turn His face away!” They try to be just good enough for God to save them from His wrath. They live in fear of the Judgement Day, still, they never know what God will say! We know for sure, Christ set us free! So we will live eternally with God in Heaven, because of grace we’ll see Him there from face to face!

We don’t need to worry now, about exactly when and how, in what position we should pray, what words exactly we should say.

76 When we are sad or full of fears, He’ll comfort us and wipe our tears. Or when we see a loved one die, He’ll still accept us when we cry!

Some other people worship trees, or sun or moon or stars or seas. They say: “your future I will know if just your birthday you will show!” But trees can’t ever guide or hear, the stars will never come so near that they could lead you in the life or help you find “ the perfect wife”!

But Christ is near, He’s here right now! He loves and cares for you, knows how to lead you through the days ahead, takes fear away, gives peace instead. He says: “I am the King of Kings. All the creation always brings honor and glory and praises to Me, My Kingdom will last eternally!

My Child, My love has made you free, now you can always come to Me! Whenever you approach My throne, you’ll find acceptance as My own!” Whatever coming days will bring, you are accepted by your King!

77 His love for you has made you free, So rejoice in Him! How good is He!! "Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!’’ (Romans 8:1)

GOD OF IMPOSSIBLE

God whose power split the sea is now right here with you and me. God who made the moon and stars is here to touch you, heal your scars.

“Nothing is too hard for Me! Just look around, you’ll clearly see: The mighty rocks and oceans big, I made them all with one word: “BE”!” God, the Lord of Israelites showed Himself in power, might. He freed them from their misery, four hundred years of slavery!

More than a million altogether, they travelled in the desert-weather. They needed daily water, bread... not for a week, but 40 years! Where did it come from, you tell me! You must be blind if you don’t see... His wisdom, might; His strength and power provided for them every hour!

His word brought water out of rocks to quench the need of thirsty folks.

79 The bread fell down from clear blue sky, He led them through the day and night! But now, in our lives we see: we struggle, worry endlessly. Whatever God asks us to do, it seems too hard for me and you! We grumble, disobey and groan, we say: “I can’t do it on my own!” We want to run away and hide ‘cause to ask for help would hurt our pride. We fear that we would lose the pleasure of others treating us like treasures. Jobs that make us look good, only these things we would do.

The tasks GOD gives to you and me will always force us to our knees. We need HIS wisdom, strength and power to lead and guide us every hour.

Yes, it’s right that on our own, we can only grumble, groan. Jesus said: “Apart from Me, there’s NOTHING you can do indeed!” The Lord who led the Israelites has lost nothing of His might. He’ll give us wisdom if we ask, give grace and strength for every task.

8o From the problems, turn your eyes to the Lord of sea and skies. And as you do so, you will see: “NOTHING IS TOO HARD FOR ME!”

2007

THE INVISIBLE LADY

(Luke 8:43-48) Nobody saw that she was there: nobody noticed when she came. Nobody said: “I am glad you are here”, nobody asked how was her day. Her body had been full of pain for twelve years in a constant row. Every night and every day her pain would only grow and grow.

Everything she had was spent on doctors giving her advice. But her health, it only went from bad to worse as days went by. She wanted friends to visit her, but none of them would dare to come. Her sickness made them run from her: “I can’t, or DIRTY I'll become!”

One day she heard, there was a man who did what others could not do. He made the lame men walk and stand, gave sight to the blind, healed others too.

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She knew, that was her only chance... “If He won’t help me, no one will! I need to know when He will pass, then quickly touch His clothes I will!

He doesn’t even have to see that I had come so close to Him. He doesn’t have to talk to me... I’ll gain my health by touching Him!” So she went, pain forcing her, she kept pressing through the crowd. And then she saw Him next to her. She quickly touched his cloak and... wow! Her bleeding stopped, her pain was gone! Immediately she had been healed! She knew, that touch of Him had done what no doctors had believed...

She wanted to leave... but then she heard Jesus asking: “Who touched Me right now? From the pressing of crowds, I wouldn’t have turned, but My power went out to heal somehow!” She came, trembling, fell onto her knees And said: “My Lord, that sinner was me! I‘d heard of you, that you’re able to heal... I touched you and right then was healed!” “Maybe Jesus is angry at me,” she thought, “He could take my life, if He wanted so...”

85 Then heard: “My daughter, your faith has brought the healing to you, in peace you can go!”

Now you, my reader, sitting there may also carry secret pain. You’ve searched for help from everywhere but all of that has been in vain...

You behave so well, but carry masks, smile, but want to cry instead. And hope that no one ever asks what’s really in your heart and head... You are afraid that if they’d see your pain and shame, they’d go away. Their rejection would then be even more pain that would stay...

But Jesus promised to be near to those who have a broken heart. Believe me, He is now right here to heal and bind what’s torn apart.

He’ll never say: “You stupid fool! How could you make up such a mess?” He’ll never want you to “stay cool”, He wants to heal your brokenness! If you just trust Him and believe, come to Him, give Him your pain, you’ll see that He will make you free, heal all your wounds, take pain away!

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But after that, I ask you, go, tell others what He did for you: “He healed my pain and so I know, He’s also able to heal you!” "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of

mercy and God of all comfort, who

comforts us in our affliction, so that we can comfort others in their affliction,

with the comfort that we ourselves have been comforted by God.” (2 Cor. 1:3-4)

„I HAVE LOVED YOU WITH AN EVERLASTING LOVE...“

„Greater love has no one than this, if someone lays down His life for His friends." (John 15; 13)

Once a voice from high above and at the same time deep in me, said: „My child, REST in My love, I love you eternally!

There’s nothing you can do or say to make Me love you more or less. Human love can fade away, My love for you is borderless! I’ll never leave you all alone to struggle with your burdens, pain. My child, you know, you are My own. I’ve said, I’ll never go away! You don’t need to measure up, covering your filthiness. Come as you are, a broken cup, come, I’ll help you clean your mess!

People often cannot see or feel the pain that’s in your heart.

88 But you can always come to Me, and tell Me, why your life is hard!

Give Me the pieces that are broken, put in My hands your shattered dreams. Come as you are, so weak and broken, then My love will make you free! It doesn’t matter what the others may think of you or even say. I, your God, have been your Lover, with you through everything I’ll stay!

I alone can know your future, I’ve guided, helped you in the past. I’ve carried you through pain and torture, I can give you peace that lasts. I’ve calmed the storms that could have killed you, stayed in your boat when seas were raw. While at your weakest, I still loved you, wiped all your tears that no one saw!

Forever you are loved, accepted. My love for you can never end. Don’t think „1’11 surely be rejected!“, come, rest in Me, My broken friend!»

HOW TO BE A GODLY KING?

(Deut. 17:14-20, iKings 10: 23-11:8)

Every Israelite had seen how God their Lord had daily been their Provider, Guide and King, leading them through everything.

From slavery He set them free, led them even through the sea. Their daily bread fell from the skies, you think they’d know that God was wise...

God knew that very soon one day the Israelites would come and say: “The Lord’s invisible and high, we want a king as our guide!”

Once Moses heard God say: “Okay, I’ll let you do just as they say. But first, you listen, I’ll say to you the things your king should never do! He should not have too many horses, it makes him lean on his own forces.

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His strength and might will easily stop him from leaning onto Me! Don’t return to the Pharaoh’s land, to buy and trade, take from his hand. His horses, gold and silver, too will never bless nor strengthen you! Remember all the slavery, the bonds from which I’ve set you free. My people, I have said today, never go back on that way! He shouldn’t take too many wives, his heart will change through all their lives. To please them, very soon he’d be serving idols instead of Me!

His gold and silver should not be collected into countless heaps. Again, the riches make a way for him to quickly go astray! He has to know that I will be the One providing for his needs. My Law must guide him every day, My strength and wisdom lead his way!”

When Solomon became a king, he was so blessed in everything. His wisdom, riches, strength and power seemed to grow with every hour.

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But he forgot what God had said and at the end his wives had led him to turn away from God, he died, his kingdom fell apart...

Now, my friend, you’re asking me: “What does that mean for you and me? We all know, we are not the kings, why tell me all these ancient things?”

What kind of things could be your “horses”? Your strengths and gifts, diplomas, courses... And even though they all are good, please don’t forget to lean on God! “Egypt, place of slavery...” the things from which God set you free. Addictions, sinful habits, fears, some problems from your childhood years... These things may constantly stay near, saying: “Just come back to me, I’m here! Find your strength again from me, just like you did previously!”

Do not turn back, don’t try to stay! God told you: “No return this way!” Instead, let your Father be the source of all the strength you need!

“Too many wives”, the source of pleasure, love, satisfaction beyond measure...

92 You think you found what you have sought, at the end, pain was all it brought. Your bank account is full indeed, but cannot give the joy you need. Your money can be ruling you, dictating all that you should do!

Don’t look for strength in your horses, nor seek pleasure from wrong sources. Don’t return to the slavery, remember, God has set you free! God wants to be your strength and joy, He wants His Laws to guide your way. He’ll lead you through the pain and sorrow, will give you strength to face tomorrow.

With endless love, He’ll carry you and be your guide, your wisdom too. If you just trust Him, He will be the source of ALL that you will need.

Jael Puusaag grew up in a Christian faml in Estonia. When she was 19, God calle her to go to Bosnia-Herzegovina as missionary. She has been there sine the year 2000, working togethc with the missions organisatio Mobilisation (OM).

I believe, God gave me these poems so that through them I would tell others about God's great love for us. He has taught me, that even during the most painful and difficult days He loves me so much that He smiles to me! His love is uncondi­ tional and endless, I can always find a hiding place in His arms. And this is true for you too! So what­ ever happens in your life, remember, He loves you so much that He smiles to you!

ISBN 978-9985-9893-7-1

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