Love Notes to My Self: Meditations and Inspirations for Self-Compassion and Self-Care 2021032887, 1523513357, 9781523513352

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Love Notes to My Self Meditations and Inspirations for Self-Compassion and Self-Care

TANYA CARROLL RICHARDSON WO R K MA N

P UB L I S H I NG • NEW

YORK

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I’d like to dedicate this special book to two special people who’ve helped me become the person and author I am today— my mother, Jana Carroll, and my agent, Linda Konner.

I’d also like to add a special thanks to my editor, Pam Bobowicz, and the wonderful team at Workman Publishing.

Copyright © 2022 by Tanya Carroll Richardson All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced—mechanically, electronically, or by any other means, including photocopying—without written permission of the publisher. Published simultaneously in Canada by Thomas Allen & Son Limited. Disclaimer: The author is not a doctor or medical professional. Before making any changes to your health, consult a professional health care practitioner. Neither the author nor the publisher shall be liable or responsible for any loss, injury, or damage allegedly arising from any information or suggestions contained in this book. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data. Names: Richardson, Tanya Carroll, 1974- author. Title: Love notes to my self : meditations and inspirations for self-compassion and self-care / Tanya Carroll Richardson. Description: New York, NY : Workman Publishing, [2022] | Identifiers: LCCN 2021032887 | ISBN 9781523513352 (paperback) Subjects: LCSH: Self-acceptance. | Self-care, Health. | Self-talk. Classification: LCC BF575.S37 R53 2022 | DDC 158.1—dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021032887 ISBN 978-1-5235-1335-2 Design by Lisa Hollander Cover and interior illustrations by Rafaela Mascaro Workman books are available at special discounts when purchased in bulk for premiums and sales promotions as well as for fundraising or educational use. Special editions or book excerpts can also be created to specification. For details, contact the Special Sales Director at [email protected]. Workman Publishing Co., Inc. 225 Varick Street New York, NY 10014-4381 workman.com WORKMAN is a registered trademark of Workman Publishing Co., Inc. Printed in China on responsibly sourced paper. First printing February 2022 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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I N T RO D U CT I O N Dear Reader,

The first year my annual daily calendar, A Year of Self-Love, was published, the reaction to it was a revelation for me. I was extremely pleased the calendar was so well-received, yet I was also a bit blown away by how much people craved daily affirmations about self-compassion and self-worth. It quickly became obvious to me how much we all want to love ourselves more. That impulse alone is a beautiful act of self-love! Working with first-person mantras, like the ones you’ll find in this book, can be a powerful way to absorb healthy intentions and incorporate them into your daily life and subconscious mind. The technique was made famous by self-love champion and self-help legend Louise Hay. This book of self-love notes can be experienced in many ways. Ideally, you’ll want to meditate on, sit with, or marinate in each page. You might be inclined to read the book cover to cover slowly, reading a little bit every Saturday, for example, while you’re enjoying coffee or tea on the porch. You might read one page every morning to set a loving, inspiring tone for the day ahead, or every evening to come home to yourself and relax before bed. One of my personal favorite methods is opening to a “random” page, which 1

may turn out to be not so random at all. Perhaps your intuition guided you to that entry, which might be very applicable to your life or speak to you in a significant way at that moment. Of course, you can always employ the helpful index at the back of the book and search for topics that call to your heart. If you find a few pages you want to work with more deeply, dog-ear or bookmark them and keep going back to those entries as loving reminders or jumping-off points for further contemplation. If anything in this book brings up strong emotions or memories, remember that self-love never means navigating challenges alone. Reach out to others when you need extra support. However and whenever you sit with the entries in this book, my only hope is that you are influenced to be even kinder, gentler, and more encouraging with yourself! Like you, I am on a lifelong journey of self-love. This book is designed to inspire loving micro shifts in your thoughts, subconscious drives, and actions. Over time, those micro shifts have a cumulative benefit that can add up to big positive change. I’m a firm believer that self-love has a ripple effect and that being good to yourself makes you a more caring, compassionate person to others as well. For that reason, self-love might be the most important work you can do in the world. I thank you for being a fellow traveler and going on this self-love adventure with me. Lots of love, 2

Tanya

£ 1¢ I’m creating the world I want to experience out there inside myself first.

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I have people in my life I can lean on for support, and I’m also learning to lean on myself. Creating the feeling inside myself that I want to experience in the outer world is the quickest and surest path to contentment. There is a healing well inside my heart, and I can draw from its bottomless reserves anytime I want to experience peace, comfort, strength, or love.

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# 2$ It’s amazing how a single seed holds the blueprint for an entire plant, flower, or tree. My ideas are the same.

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I regularly examine my idea seedlings to discern if there is one worth planting and tending with love, prayer, and consistent action steps. An idea seedling might grow into an important relationship, improved physical or emotional health, a significant creative project, or a financial blessing. Trusting my creativity and imagination is part of learning to value myself. Do I currently possess the seed of an idea that might grow big and bountiful someday?

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# 3$ My mind is a soft landing place where I can speak to myself in comforting or empowering ways.

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Observing my thought patterns throughout the day is a way to lovingly parent myself. I perform light housecleaning in my head by infusing honest yet difficult realizations about myself or the world with compassion. I can be both honest and compassionate with myself in my thoughts. Softening my thoughts can actually help me sit more easily with issues and emotions, which will ultimately bring more clarity. A spoonful of love helps the medicine go down!

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´ 4 ´ Forgiving myself for something I regret is a process— it doesn’t have to happen all at once.

D Yet I don’t have to wait for forgiveness. I can slowly work on forgiving myself through simple acts of kindness and gentleness, from me to me. Getting clear on the lessons a regret has taught me makes me a better person to myself and to others—and makes it easier to forgive myself so I can begin a new, healthier cycle. When facing something painful, I can take my time with it.

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´ 5´ I can say no, with love, when yes is not an authentic answer.

D When I say no to some things so I can say yes to others, I’m not only authentic, I become my own savior and superhero. Communicating authentically—like speaking up for what I want, need, and believe in—is saying yes to myself.  Let me remember the superpower of no and that sometimes the biggest obstacle to my happiness is what I say yes to.

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£ 6¢ Maybe a miracle is changing the choices I make, leading to different and much better outcomes.

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The choice to change is mine. The slightest change in my attitude or approach to others or to the choices before me can have a miraculous cumulative effect over time. Creating miraculous changes in my life is an endurance race, and I can take one small yet important step forward every day. I can also have days where I stop and catch my breath, knowing that some things can only be changed or healed slowly. Things often change in my life when I’m ready to change.

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£ 7¢ When I want to love myself more, it helps to have a theme song.

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I have a few songs that are self-love anthems. Whenever I feel down about myself or need a boost of confidence, I can put one on for inspiration. Certain songs—whether they are calming and nurturing or pumped up and celebratory—almost always make me feel strong, centered, happy, silly, sexy, peaceful, or like I can take on anything. Put together, they make a powerful self-love playlist! Self-love songs remind me that I’m one of a kind and deserving of all the tenderness and grace life has to offer.

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¡ 8 ™ Surrendering my need to control something that I know in my heart I cannot influence is an act of great self-love.

B Some things I have a fair amount of control over, other things not so much. Life is a dance of exercising my free will to proactively co-create, controlling what I can, and surrendering. There are times to steer and paddle, and times to pull up my oars and let the river take me. Let me trust life’s rhythm and flow and my part in it.

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¡ 9™ Just like I’m mindful of my physical and emotional reserves, part of my self-care practice is being mindful of my financial reserves.

B I can show myself love with my financial decisions, and I can show other people I care without draining my bank account. Giving is less about spending money and more about sharing my inner resources with people I love—like my compassion and my time. When I take better care of or keep a closer watch over my finances, I can create a bit of abundant money magic!

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´ 10 ´ The quality of my relationships with other people depends upon the quality of my relationship with myself.

I refer to myself in a loving, respectful way when I’m speaking about myself to others. Treating myself with dignity and respect encourages others to do the same. Just like people have house rules—like no shoes inside or don’t leave the lights on in an empty room—I have self-love rules for how I prefer to be treated. I’m always teaching people how to treat me.

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´ 11 ´ Laughter adds balance and perspective to life’s masterful composition.

D A sense of humor, especially about myself, is one of my greatest coping skills. My ability to laugh at myself is a healthy sign of self-love. Laughter lightens the load for everyone. When I take myself too seriously, I roll my eyes, smirk inwardly, or in some other way laugh at myself with one of my closest, oldest friends—me.

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# 12$ It’s when I allow my self-love to shine through that people are most drawn to me.

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My packaging is amazingly unique! I don’t look exactly like anyone else—and I’m learning to love that. I’m working on feeling beautiful, confident, and whole just as I am. When I send love to a part of my body that I have rejected in the past, that loving energy spreads through me and shines out to the world. Feeling attractive is more about my attitude and authenticity than how I look.

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# 13$ The present moment is the point in time that holds the most potential for me.

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There’s more for me in the present and future than in the past. I can be a friend to my future self by being conscious that my actions today help shape my tomorrow. Ordinary moments when I tend to zone out—like shampooing my hair in the shower, washing veggies for lunch, or folding laundry—are a chance to practice being more present.

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£ 14¢ Life is holistic, so I have to be present for the hard stuff to really be present for the wonderful stuff.

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I’m sitting with the notion that no matter what happens— whether it’s joyous or terrible or neutral—every experience can bring me into a deeper relationship with myself and into a deeper understanding of love. I’m getting better at loving myself through— and being open to—whatever shows up.

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£ 15¢ When a wave of strong emotion hits me, I know there’s a healing epiphany buried within its depths.

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Simply feeling can be healing, so I don’t have to run from fear or anger or sadness or label my feelings as right or wrong, good or bad. When I’m surfing a strong wave of emotion, doing something that’s physically comforting—like snuggling up with a loved one, pet, or weighted blanket—can be emotionally comforting too. Emotions are like healing messages in a bottle carried to me on a tide of self-love.

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¡16™ Joy opens my heart, making it an essential spiritual practice.

B Part of being in touch with my emotions is stopping to notice when I’m happiest. These joyful moments are like mile markers leading me back to the happy place in my heart. Seeking out happiness for myself each day actually makes me a kinder person who is more tolerant of others. I’m realizing that the pursuit of happiness can be the spiritual pursuit of my own humanity and better nature.

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¡ 17 ™ I’m embracing the notion that I’m the great love I’ve always been waiting for.

B I don’t have to experience romance through a romantic partner. Life itself is incredibly romantic! Making grand romantic gestures toward myself on a regular basis draws even more romance to me. I’m falling in love with life itself. Who, what, and where brings out the romantic in me?

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´ 18 ´ Children—including my own inner child—can never get too much love and attention.

D When I think of myself as a child, or see a picture of myself as a child, my heart swells up with tender feelings for that tiny person who’s still somewhere inside me. Making a difference in the life of a child who needs help can be a way to give back and honor my own inner child. Even though I’m “grown-up,” there’s a child inside me who likes to play. I get creative about inviting my inner child out to play!

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´ 19 ´ Comparing myself to others is a risky venture that I proceed with cautiously and carefully.

D We’re all unique pieces of a larger puzzle, so I honor my unique self and how it completes a larger puzzle. I can’t have everything I want in life, or everything I see other people having, but if I look closely I have a lot to be thankful for. My loving, generous, courageous heart is my best guide, helping me live my unique life in the unique way that only I can.

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# 20 $ If there’s something in my life that’s not working, it’s safe for me to look at and acknowledge this.

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Doing a loving self-inventory, where I observe myself objectively and compassionately, helps me determine if I could live in a kinder, healthier, more meaningful, more fulfilling, or more productive way. Selfinventories illuminate issues I should face instead of putting off, as well as unhealthy patterns I could work to heal or shift. Mindfully sitting with the fundamentals of my life—like my self-care, my relationships, my service to the world, and my finances—lets me discern where I need course-correction. I don’t have to have the answer for how to “fix” anything, just acknowledge that something feels off.

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# 21$ Some of my biggest mistakes were some of my greatest teachers. I have myself to thank for those priceless lessons.

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There are some lessons I had to learn the hard way, and I don’t have to beat myself up for that. Beating myself up rarely accomplishes anything, so I’m finding a way to hold myself accountable, learn my lessons, and be with myself through it all in a more loving manner. I’m appreciative of the wisdom I’ve accrued over time, especially hardwon wisdom that only experience could teach me.

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I have a personal code of honor, and the main tenet is to try to treat others the way I myself would like to be treated.

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We are all connected by a common humanity, making everyone equally worthy and important—even those I find triggering or difficult. People I really don’t get along with can sometimes teach me really valuable lessons, like finding some value or wisdom in something they say, or learning what not to do just by observing their example, or stretching myself to feel some compassion for them. As I try my best to be honorable and treat others as I would want to be treated, my compassionate energy travels out into the world, bringing little blessings to humanity—and therefore back to me. 24

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Self-love is promising to love, honor, and cherish myself. It’s the most important vow I can ever make.

S

Radical self-love means I promise to love myself no matter what, even when I find myself in the middle of a self-sabotaging habit. I practice loving myself despite the fact that I’m not— and will never be—perfect at this vow of radical, unconditional self-love. If I can love myself, even when I disappoint myself, I’ve discovered the secret to self-love, as well as a secret to shifting self-sabotaging habits.

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Living my own life is enough— I don’t have to live other people’s.

Immersing myself in another person’s problems, life experiences, or emotions is a sure way to abandon myself. I might offer a friend advice, because good friends check one another’s blind spots, but I don’t have to change or “fix” others. When I accept other people as they are, it allows my relationships—and me—some much-needed breathing room.

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Being kind to myself is always how I bring out the best in myself.

D Positive feedback helps everyone perform better, so kind, loving thoughts to myself about myself are not only considerate but also practical and strategic. Whether I did my best and gave it my all or really fell short of the mark, I try to keep my kindness filter on when I’m assessing my own performance. My support for myself is unconditional, either because of what I’ve accomplished or in spite of what I haven’t accomplished.

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£ 26¢ I can’t grow and improve without making mistakes. When I try to be perfect, it cuts me off from healthy evolution.

L

Did someone once try to convince me that I needed to be perfect? They were mistaken. Fabulously flawsome— awesome in spite of, and sometimes because of, my flaws— is more my style. Whenever I notice one of my quirks or imperfections, I’ll remember that they are what make me interesting. If I find myself fixating on the imperfection of a single tile, I can step back to take in the fabulously flawsome mosaic that is my life. Let’s face it . . . I’m pretty awesome!

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£ 27¢ Energy is nuanced and invisible, yet powerful and palpable.

L

I try to create a certain vibe or energy in my world every day. Energy can be infectious, so sometimes if I meet another person with pleasant energy, they will mirror that back to me. Putting a name to the kind of energy I want to cultivate— like relaxed, jolly, driven, focused, humorous, philosophical, loving, adventurous, gentle, honest, fierce, balanced, sacred, healing, or compassionate—helps me curate the energy in my little corner of the world.

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¡ 28 ™ Life is a balance of being out in the world to enjoy the energy of others and retreating to recover from the energy of others.

B

When I feel lonely and isolated, or I crave connection, I can reach out to others, and when my system is fried and overwhelmed I can retreat from others. Having some quiet moments each day—with healthy retreat and recovery activities as opposed to numbing out—helps me reground back into my own energy and come home to myself. I’m better in my relationships with others when I get quality time with me.

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¡ 29 ™ Sometimes I wear a lot of different hats during the day, so I build in healthy transition time between events and roles.

B

I aim to build in five to fifteen minutes of transition time between meetings, doctor’s appointments, childcare pickups, household chores, clients, supporting loved ones on the phone, or work projects. Anytime I’m switching gears, I need a moment to take a breath and reconnect with myself. Little practices—like sipping my favorite drink instead of gulping it down—make the pace of my day much more sane. When I slow my roll, the day takes less of a toll on me.

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´ 30 ´ Beauty is a nourishing, sustaining force for the human spirit.

D I find beauty in unexpected places, like a cracked vase or an interesting face in the crowd. There’s beauty in every season—the sunshine of summer, the blooms of spring, the cloudy days of fall, and the stark landscape of winter. I use beauty therapy—through objects, colors, nature elements, and fabrics—to beautify my immediate environment. How can I bring more beauty into my life?

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´ 31 ´ I’m discovering my natural rhythm.

D

There’s a certain rhythm to my days that I like a lot. When I get off that ideal rhythm, I get back on beat as soon as I can. Daily, weekly, and monthly routines keep me feeling more grounded and calm. If I get bored, I approach an old routine in a new way. I notice how the pace and rhythm of my day feels in my body and adjust my routines accordingly.

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# 32$ When I see a golden opportunity, I seize it.

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When I’m shooting for the stars, I must have extra-careful aim! I can get quiet, connect with my intuition, and discern how to focus my efforts so I give a golden opportunity my all. If there’s a strong chance I’ll end up in a different yet better place, I make the most of that opportunity. Life often gives me an opportunity to do something differently and much better than I have in the past.

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# 33$ Grace is a force of benevolence and mercy that I don’t have to earn or ask for. It is something I anticipate each day.

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Grace brings unexpected blessings into my life right on time. So many helpful people have come into my life as instruments of grace. They inspire me to be an instrument of grace for others! I’m open to grace operating in my life—it’s not just up to me to make everything happen. When good things come easily to me, without my having to orchestrate or strategize, I pause and recognize it as grace.

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£ 34¢ I have some power places where I get my best work and thinking done.

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Energy is something I can’t see, but I can feel or sense it in myself, in others, and in places I inhabit. Acknowledging the unseen energy and power of certain places—like a specific park, a certain coffee shop, a special place of spiritual worship, a beloved friend’s kitchen, or my own back porch—helps me identify my power places. I’m also learning to access a gentle, calm, powerful place inside me anytime I need sanctuary from the larger world.

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£ 35¢ I’m the only one who can truly have my best interests at heart. It’s my sacred territory and my sacred responsibility.

While many people love and care for me, I’m the best guardian of my own best interests. I choose people, situations, places, and things that are healthy for me, respectful of me, connecting and nourishing for me, or aligned with my goals. Self-love is knowing I can count on myself to have my own back.

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¡ 36 ™ I don’t need to cast people as the villain to decide to end my relationship with them.

S

Relationships can and do run their course, so occasionally I need to consider not investing more time and energy in a relationship. Yet I don’t have to make people out to be bad or wrong to justify pulling away. I might have to let go of some things in my life to make room for others. When I want to bring something new in, first I discern how I can make space for it. When it’s time to say goodbye to someone or something that’s been significant to me, my practice is to honor that goodbye by giving myself space to feel and heal. 38

¡ 37 ™ I show myself love by exercising healthy discipline.

S

No one knows me better than myself. So I can be real with myself regarding any area of my life—like work, finances, health—in which I need to exercise more healthy discipline. When discipline feels difficult or even impossible, I show myself love by getting help. Sensing when to loosen the reins on self-discipline is just as important. Exercising healthy discipline with myself is a balancing act, because everyone deserves a break—including me!

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¡ 38 ™ When I can’t do something under the circumstances I’m living in, it’s important to focus my energy on what I can do.

B If I feel restricted or experience limitations with my health, my finances, my love life, my career, or anything else, I focus on what I can accomplish or work on. I do what I can in the present to improve my situation— there’s always something. Self-love might be acknowledging and getting support for my challenging emotions while focusing on my blessings, simply because it’s the kindest thing to do for myself when I’m frustrated by my current circumstances. Limitation actually provides me with a unique opportunity to do inner work.

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´ 39 ´ Nature has a way of being able to replenish itself, and nature is also a replenishing force for me.

B

Observing the cycles of nature, like the cycles of the moon or the changing seasons, helps me remember that in some ways I’m always shifting, yet in other ways I’m staying the same too. Connecting mindfully with nature—by making a nature mandala, wishing on a star, or listening to the rain—helps me connect with myself. Anchoring into nature’s supportive energy, I’m more present in the moment to my own inner and outer changes.

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´ 40 ´ Expressing myself honestly is an act of love and, sometimes, courage.

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Self-love and self-expression are closely linked. I express my thoughts, opinions, needs, desires, beliefs, and feelings to other people to honor us both. This gives the other person the benefit of my honest perspective. It also avoids enabling poor behavior in someone else—which would be a disservice to them. I try to express myself with as much diplomacy and compassion as possible. Biting my tongue to people-please serves no one. I encourage others to express themselves honestly with me too.

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# 41$ Every day I try to adorn myself with love, whether it’s wearing a favorite shirt or doing my hair in a favorite style.

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I dress myself in a way that makes me feel good inside and out. Getting dressed up cheers me up! Whether I’m out and about being fabulous, running errands, or chilling around the house, wearing one of my favorite outfits puts a smile on my face and often improves my mood. Lovingly adorning my body lights my spirit up!

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# 42$ Nothing settles me like getting lost in a creative hobby.

D Creative hobbies—like gardening, cooking, drawing, playing an instrument, creative writing, journaling, knitting, or dancing—can be a wonderful way for me to retreat into my own nourishing energy and recover from being out in the world. Signing up for a class in something I’ve never tried before—like pottery, improv comedy, jewelry making, or painting—is a way to creatively explore new sides of myself and train my brain to think more creatively. My life is my greatest work of art.

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# 43$  There’s something to that old saying about the joy of simple pleasures. Simplicity itself can be very pleasurable!

D Keeping things simple makes them easier for me to manage both physically and emotionally. If I notice there’s anything I overdo— shopping, eating, drinking, socializing, caretaking, working, exercising, or binge-watching—I’ll hone new habits that allow me to live more simply. The simplest presents to myself—like making my favorite healthy smoothie, rubbing sweet-smelling lotion into my skin, or pausing to watch the light filter through tree branches—give me the most pleasure. My soul is reinvigorated by the simplest things.

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´ 44 ´ Whenever I catch a glimpse of my reflection— in a bathroom mirror or a shop window— I remind myself that I’m looking at my most dedicated supporter and advocate!

L

I support myself by recognizing challenges to my self-love. Whether it’s a shaming thought in my own mind or an unkind and thoughtless comment from a friend, I can neutralize the challenge by tapping into my reserves of unflinching, unconditional self-love. My own self-love is a worthy cause I’m advocating for each and every day.

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£ 45¢ Silly dance parties can seriously relieve stress by moving stuck energy and emotions through my body.

L

I can dance just by tapping my feet or by listening to music that lifts my heart. I hold dance parties at gatherings of friends or family, at home alone in my kitchen, at a dance class, or sitting at my desk. Power music helps me power through—and dance through—my day! If I’m experiencing physical limitations, I can watch or listen to other people dancing and imagine my soul grooving along. I will be sure to laugh, hug, or dance today.

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¡ 46 ™ When I don’t prioritize myself, it sends the wrong message to the world.

B When I prioritize myself in a healthy way, I’m letting myself and the world know that I matter and that my needs are important. If other people don’t prioritize my wishes and preferences, it might be because I’ve taught them not to prioritize me. I have many responsibilities to many people, but my greatest responsibility is to myself.

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¡ 47 ™ Living with conviction, and working toward a better world for everyone, gives my life meaning and is a legacy worth leaving behind me.

B I seek out ways to make the world a better place for everyone, whether that’s doing something thoughtful for a stranger or taking meaningful action on a larger issue in the world. Focusing on being of service to others can be a healthy break from my own issues. It’s both a relief and a gift to not be hyperfocused on just me all the time.

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# 48$ I stop to feel proud of my efforts regardless of the results.

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When I’ve been in a cycle of working hard, pushing to improve myself, or showing up for others, stopping now and again to feel proud of my efforts gives me more stamina to keep going. At the end of the day or week, I like to look back and pinpoint something to feel proud of. I carry myself with pride—and compassionate humility—in the world.

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# 49$ Self-care is something I have to mindfully prioritize, because there is always something else waiting on my to-do list.

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Being more flexible with my to-do list each day actually motivates me to get more done. I flag some items as “must do,” think of others merely as “suggestions for today,” and consider still others “extra credit.” I stay flexible so I can let my day unfold organically. Squeezing my selfcare onto my calendar might look like getting lost in a creative project, getting my hands satisfyingly dirty in the garden, or grabbing my journal and catching up with my own emotions. I always put myself right at the top of my never-ending to-do list.

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´ 50 ´ Like a lovely piece of silver or copper, I’ve developed a rich, interesting patina over the years.

D One of the keys to self-love is self-knowledge, and I’m getting to know myself better every day. I continually experience significant revelations about myself, through observations of friends, family members, doctors, or colleagues, or through my own insights. Interesting new experiences are always coming my way, making my life and my character richer. There’ve been many chapters of my life and versions of me. I love them all! I have many layers and I am a fascinating subject!

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´ 51´ I cannot change other people— I can only change how I want to be in relationship to them.

D People are not toxic, but sometimes their behavior can be. I try to give loved ones the opportunity to change their behavior when they treat me in a way that is unacceptable, taking into account that the other person might have a lot going on emotionally. Yet my self-love practice demands that I’m treated in a loving way by loved ones, or I have to reconsider my level of intimacy with them. I create loving relationships in my life.

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Self-love is knowing when to push, and when to respect, my own limits.

S

Pushing myself past my known limits might be a prescription for emotional and physical exhaustion. Other times, it’s just what the doctor ordered, and pushing myself past my known limits can create a positive new dynamic and new opportunities for me. I recognize my healthy limits in each moment.

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I practice being my own mother.

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I always have a mother in myself, whether my mother is alive, has passed on, or was never known to me. I always have a mother in myself, whether my mother and I have a great relationship, a complex relationship, a very challenging relationship, or no relationship. I mother myself by prioritizing my goals and dreams, seeking out joy, speaking up for what I want and need, asking for help and support, talking compassionately to myself, and finding space to nurture myself. No one knows how to mother me better than me.

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£ 54¢ Scientists believe that humans are made of stardust. That makes me a cosmic miracle!

L

Since I’m made of stardust, putting on my favorite cool music and strutting along officially makes me a rock star! Deep down I always suspected I was. When I want to shine my own brilliance, listening to a song that oozes “cool” can help. Cool music can even inspire me to walk, talk, dress, or think more confidently. Which songs remind me that I’m a star?

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£ 55¢ My inner experience is everything.

L

No matter how the people I’m around are feeling, I practice adjusting my inner emotional climate control to a comfortable setting. One of the quickest ways for me to access inner peace is to do something in the moment to take good care of myself, like putting off a low-priority item on my to-do list, scheduling a massage or haircut, or watching a comedy to help put life into perspective. I’m learning how to better own my inner experience— without self-judgment and with more proactive self-love.

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¡ 56 ™ I have an inner warrior who is fair and peaceful yet strong, determined, and courageous.

B My inner warrior can be summoned anytime I’m in need of extra strength. Conjuring a mental image of what my inner warrior looks like helps. This warrior image might be based on someone determined and courageous I admire from history, from pop culture, or from a fictional book or movie. As I walk through the world, a powerful inner warrior walks with me. It’s the part of myself that relishes a challenge and longs to rise to the occasion!

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¡ 57 ™ The human spirit is resilient by nature, yet resiliency is also a trait that can be cultivated.

B Looking back over my life, I’ve handled some really tough situations, surviving and sometimes even finding ways to thrive. While it can be painful to look at struggles from the past, remembering the obstacles I have overcome and seeing myself as a resilient survivor is inspiring and empowering. I’ve survived difficult times, and I’ve also experienced amazing blessings. Sometimes difficulties and blessings appear simultaneously.

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´ 58 ´ The smaller moments in life can actually hold the most meaning.

I look for the larger meaning in a small moment, like the slogan on a billboard that seems to speak to my issues or the new friend who confides in me and shows how our connection is deepening. Maybe I don’t have to add anything to my life to find more meaning—just be more present to what’s already here. When I’m purposefully more present during interactions with other people, and even while doing chores like making dinner, my days are filled with more meaning.

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´ 59 ´ With age comes certain perks, and not caring as much what people think about the way I live my life is one of them.

D Other people’s opinions of me don’t have to inform my opinion of myself. When other people offer words of praise or criticism about me, I’ll run these opinions through my own heart filter and see what, if anything, resonates with me on a deeper level. Sometimes other people’s negative opinions about my life have more to do with them than me. Running someone else’s overly negative feedback about me through my holistic heart filter not only adds self-compassion, it also alerts me to the other person’s own issues that have little to do with me.

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# 60 $ I have some tried-and-true self-care practices that are foundational to my well-being.

X

I count on my foundational self-care practices, like stopping throughout the day to drink water and eat healthy snacks, making time for my exercise or meditation practice, reading a positive or nourishing book before bed, or being compassionate and gentle with myself in my thoughts. They’ve been cultivated and tested over time, and these practices always make life better. When I get out of the habit of my gold standard self-care practices, I lovingly reprioritize them—and myself.

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# 61$ When something is taken away from me, it can make me even more grateful for what remains.

X

If I’m longing too much for what I don’t have, I might be ignoring the blessings right in front of me. Self-love helps me make the most of my days and puts life in perspective as something fleeting and precious. The silver lining of a loss is that what’s left feels more special. Silver linings can be lifelines. I’m grateful for things that are right in front of me—like the sunset or a child’s laughter. A loss can heighten my awareness of the present moment and make these small details feel like gigantic gifts.

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# 62$ My good intentions go out into the world and have a life of their own, fertilizing my dreams in ways I never anticipated.

S

My good intentions are like seeds, and life will blow them to where they can best germinate and blossom. I enjoy seeing how my garden of good intentions has grown organically over the years, being supported by life in ways I never expected or planned. There’s real magic in writing down my intentions where I can save and see them. I place my good intentions—to love myself more, to be more playful, to be of service to others, to create loving relationships, to put my gifts to good use, or to embody peace—on the bathroom mirror, on the door of the fridge, or on a slip of paper that acts as a bookmark.

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Worst-case-scenario thinking is something I can put loving boundaries around.

S

Self-love is setting boundaries with myself around stuff I know isn’t the best for me, like alcohol, caffeine, sugar, bingewatching, gossiping, shopping, and worst-case-scenario thinking. When my boundaries with myself are healthy, I feel more calm, grounded, and in control. I balance worst-case scenario thinking with best-case scenario thinking and even most-likely scenario thinking.

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It’s my practice to find something to savor about every day—especially on the really hard days.

S

Some days feel fun and celebratory, and others can be painful. But even on the painful days, I can usually find a sweetness to life. Stopping to notice when I’m happiest helps, because I’m often happiest during all the tiny, sweet moments I normally take for granted, like walking in nature or showing up for a loved one. I love myself enough to seek out the sweetness in life, like the hummingbird seeks out nectar.

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Sometimes focusing too much on an upcoming event is what causes the most stress for me.

S

I don’t have to let anticipatory stress make the months, weeks, days, or hours leading up to an event unnecessarily stressful. I have coping skills for anticipatory stress—checking off items on my to-do list, double-checking important details, doing a creative visualization to imagine myself calm at the event, and then putting my thoughts and focus onto something else entirely while surrendering it all to a higher power. I try to focus on what’s in front of me right now, knowing that’s how I help co-create the future every day.

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£ 66¢ I don’t have to have all the answers. I just have to show up every day and be willing to do my part.

L

It’s not all on me to figure everything out. When I need good advice, I have people I can go to for wise counsel. Getting advice from people I respect who are older than me can be a loving way to parent myself. If I don’t have a great answer, sometimes it’s best to just listen. When everyone shows up and does their part on an individual level, collectively the important answers appear.

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£ 67¢ Self-love is allowing myself time and space and permission to dream.

L

Out of my daydreams are born my most interesting real-life creations! Actively daydreaming can be a way to get clear on my desires and even manifest them. I follow up my daydreams with an action step to set me on the path toward my dreams coming true. Daydreams are how I become the artist of my own life. I’m a full-time dreamer!

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¡ 68 ™ I might only know if something is possible by giving it a try.

B

Rejection is part of life—I can’t let that stop me from going after what I want. I’m developing a tough, protective callus around rejection. What feels like a failure may really be a false start, especially if I learned things from the experience that will help me do better in the future. Trying, even if things don’t work out, makes it easier to move on without regrets.

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¡ 69 ™ The more I can quiet my mind, the louder my gut instincts are.

B Following my intuition or gut instincts about something small— like which route to take to work, which line to get into at the grocery store, or where to go for lunch—helps me trust my intuition about bigger issues. When I’m trying to discern my gut instincts about an issue, I do something meditative to quiet my mind, like yoga, cleaning, or reading. Part of my self-love practice is learning to listen to and trust my own gut instincts.

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´ 70 ´ I make the best decisions when I consult both my head and my heart.

D My life feels more harmonious when my head and my heart can at least compromise. Following my heart’s desire when making decisions is part of my soul purpose. My energetic heart has a mind—and wisdom—all its own. Yet my very strategic and logical head helps me map out my heart’s desires. My energetic heart contains my soul’s memory, which is why it needs a say in my decision-making process. That way I can lead a soulful life.

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´ 71 ´ I never underestimate the power of a sincere “Thank you” or “I’m sorry.”

D No matter how long it’s been since their good deed, I like to offer people a sincere thank-you. It’s never too late to show someone gratitude and feel all the good feelings that produces in me. The best way to encourage someone else to forgive me is to forgive myself. As I start to forgive myself, that energy might soften other people toward me. I pause and connect with my heart before telling someone “Thank you” or “I’m sorry.” What alchemical magic words can carry when they are offered from the heart.

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# 72$ When I get a clear and consistent message from my intuition, I honor that message.

X

If I’m continually confused about what to do regarding a certain issue in my life, it can be a sign that I’m overthinking it. I can step back from this issue in my mind to let my intuition get a word in edgewise. Then I stay present to recognize breakthrough or aha intuitive realizations. When I receive a clear and consistent message from my intuition about my health, my relationships, my career, my finances, or the larger world, I take an action step to honor this message.

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# 73$ If I have a mini meltdown, I try to find the breakthrough message about how I can change, shift, heal, or evolve. Yet my first priority is to self-soothe.

X

My emotions can have many hidden layers, like Russian nesting dolls. Nestled within my sadness or anger can be an invitation to change my habits, attitude, approach, expectations, priorities, relationships, selfcare, or goals. If these emotions are overwhelming or I feel out of control, I can lean into my healthy coping skills and ask for support. Intense emotions are always an invitation to nurture myself. Self-love means not abandoning myself when I’m feeling something challenging by doing something in the moment to soothe myself.

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£ 74¢ Whenever I want to improve or work on myself, I take a few moments to connect with my heart and practice radical self-love.

L

If I catch myself doing something self-sabotaging—like isolating, judging my body, overgiving, or overworking—I get quiet, take a deep breath, put my hand over my heart, and feel its loving energy radiate through me. Then I ask myself, “What’s the real reason I’m self-sabotaging?” That unconditional love from my heart could make me feel more relaxed, which could make any answers easier to sit with. Every day I’m becoming better at being a safe container of unconditional, nourishing love for myself, no matter what.

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£ 75¢ Synchronicities, or signs from the universe, show up in my life every day, keeping me pointed in the direction of my highest good.

L

I’m alert to synchronicities—meaningful coincidences—like a post on social media, a poignant dream, a song on the radio, a passage in a book, an offhand remark overheard in line at the store, or anything else that feels like a helpful message from the universe to me. Repetitive synchronicities, or helpful and reoccurring signs, reveal important themes in my life.  I can often tell a synchronicity or sign from the universe by the feeling I get when it happens. It’s like feeling more alive, present, or aware.

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¡ 76 ™   Admitting that I have limits isn’t a defeat, it’s a relief.

B Saving and conserving—my time, my energy, my money—is self-love in action. I don’t have to give it all away! Self-love is being present enough to notice that some days I have a higher tolerance—and more reserves—for stressful or frustrating situations and people, and other days my tolerance is much lower. Ironically, as I mindfully save and conserve my resources, and keep something in reserve for myself, I have more to give away to others.

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¡ 77 ™ Slowing down and going at a snail’s pace is good medicine.

B Some days I like to take my sweet time, going at a snail’s pace as I’m eating my lunch, strolling around the neighborhood, or getting ready for bed. I explore the brilliance of just being, and not doing as much. My self-worth is more about my being than my doing. I require quiet, gentle moments when I can just be.

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´ 78 ´ Sometimes I can rise above my petty disputes with a loved one by asking myself, “What would I say to their soul? What might their soul say to me?”

D I can connect with my soul when I need the spiritual or broader perspective about a relationship in my life. I can also send a silent message to someone else’s soul anytime, maybe while I’m meditating, taking a walk, or writing in my journal, and imagine what their soul might reply. The other person cannot hear the exchange with their physical ears, but somehow I know their soul will be listening. Soul friends are ones I share a deep bond with, deeper than any petty disputes.

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´ 79 ´ Small acts of loving kindness toward individuals who are suffering is actually self-love, because it makes me feel so good to give back.

D Giving back and being of service to those in need in my immediate circle, in my community, and in the larger world is a priority for me. A personal code of honor sometimes demands that as an individual, I make honorable, meaningful sacrifices for the greater good of the whole world. When I make a noble sacrifice for others, it always comes back to me, maybe from an unexpected source or in an unexpected way, like a boomerang of love.

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# 80 $ When I look back on my life, I realize I’m a bit of a unicorn. I’ve had many unique experiences, informing the unique person I’ve become.

X

The tougher experiences of my life have made me resilient, but not hard. For this, I’m grateful. Sometimes I like to think or even journal about the most unique, extraordinary, exceptional experiences of my life so far. Some of them were uniquely challenging, while others were uniquely miraculous and blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Every experience has shaped me, and I like who I’m becoming.

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# 81$ The turtle’s true home is on its back, and my true home is in my heart.

X

I find quiet moments to come home to myself and connect with my energetic heart. I can put my hand over my physical heart, get quiet, and tune into what my energetic heart has been feeling lately. I’m very sensitive to the feelings of others, yet self-love is being connected to myself and my own emotional needs. Throughout the day, I find ways to come home to my own heart and my own emotional experience.

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I’m more sensitive than I let on. Occasionally I have to go back and feel emotions from the past that I had pushed down to survive or be strong.

S

Sometimes it’s only when things settle down a bit—and I’m no longer in survival mode—that all the emotions hit me. Self-love helps me sit with anything and everything, getting support from others when I need it. I have the capacity to hold and process a lot emotionally, but sometimes I just need someone else to hold my hand while I do. When life is calm and I have space, I can revisit something that happened in the past that might require more emotional processing, vulnerability, and TLC. 84

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The best days are when I can be a force of good and an instrument of grace for someone else.

S

When I allow myself to be moved emotionally by the pain of others, I’m more likely to take meaningful action. Mindful heartbreak is the practice of letting my heart go out to others so I can feel more connected and possibly help. I love being an angel to other people! Sometimes a person shows up in my life because I am uniquely suited to helping them and being their angel.

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£ 84¢ Feeling content is underrated.

L

Whether I’m feeling content with my home, my job, my finances, my relationships, my health, my service to the world, my creative outlet, a community I belong to, or my personal development, taking a moment to enjoy the peaceful feeling of contentment is spiritually healing. Adopting an attitude of contentment—like practicing gratitude, humility, or patience—helps me create that feeling of contentment inside me. Some days I realize that what I’ve been yearning for is what I already have.

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£ 85¢ When a part of my own little world feels washed away, I slowly, steadily build something new.

If I’m starting over in an area of my life, I’m very gentle and loving with myself as I slowly, steadily start to build something new. Small action steps build my new sandcastle of dreams. Giving myself a fresh start is uplifting, and fresh starts can begin anytime I choose. Every moment is a fresh start and a chance to create something new. Life will give me as many chances as I am willing to take.

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£ 86¢ I love to have people from all different backgrounds in my life, seeking out new colleagues and friends who can provide me with different perspectives on the world.

X

Reading an article online by someone from a different background or life experience than my own is another way I practice inclusivity. My life experience and background are important, yet so are those of other people. Sometimes it’s better to offer space and simply listen, especially to people who have felt unheard. It broadens and enriches my own perspective to seek out people with very different life experiences and backgrounds than my own.

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 £ 87¢ Just like my physical body needs daily nourishment, my soul needs to be fed daily too.

X

Scheduling a soul day is a great way to connect to my unique spirituality and nurture that sacred part of myself. I feed my soul anytime by reading a chapter of one of my favorite inspirational books, visiting a place in nature, performing a spiritual ritual or ceremony, visiting a sacred place of worship, joining with others in a spiritual community in person or online, or listening to a spiritual podcast or music with spiritual themes. Simply having quiet time on my own can be very nourishing for my sensitive soul.

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¡ 88 ™ When I want to have a more relaxed approach, I channel the energy of someone who is like a chillness guru.

B Summoning a mental image of someone I know or someone in pop culture who is laid-back and relaxed makes me feel more chill. If it’s a family member, I recall some of their chillest moments. If it’s a comedian, I listen to them perform and giggle. If it’s a spiritual teacher, I read some of their calming words. Who is one of my chillness gurus?

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¡ 89 ™ I can choose to soften my energy, whatever that looks like in my world.

B Softening my energy might look like doing something physically relaxing, making a point of moving more slowly or intentionally, engaging with someone or something that makes me feel tender or heart warmed, or being extra gentle with myself in my own mind. Pausing to imagine a loving, energetic embrace surrounding me—as snuggly as a fuzzy blanket or as comforting as a person who loves me unconditionally—softens my energy.

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´ 90 ´ One of my favorite ways to nurture myself is to cozy-up my surroundings.

Keeping the areas in which I live and work tidy is a powerful self-love practice. Tidying my nest can mean making my bed before I leave the house in the morning, sorting through a stack of papers on my desk, or buying an affordable plant or picture frame to cozy-up a corner of my space. I increase the cozy quotient in my life by snuggling into my softest sheets, making a cup of something delicious to drink, or working with aromatherapy. I always feel more at ease emotionally and energetically if my immediate physical environment is warm and inviting. 92

´ 91 ´ I’m getting better at giving myself pep talks!

D When I’m discouraged, I practice giving myself a loving pep talk. If I’m nervous about something, like a work meeting or a confrontation with a loved one or stepping outside my comfort zone, I give myself a pep talk beforehand. And sometimes during and afterward too! Whenever I pep talk myself, I remember that I’m loved—especially by me—no matter how things turn out. That unconditional love can make me feel more relaxed, which could make whatever I’m facing go more smoothly.

£ 93

# 92$ When I find myself fascinated by a fictional character, it might be because their emotional experience mirrors my own.

X

Fictional characters—in books, movies, plays, songs, or television shows—can be a path back home to myself. Pondering a character helps me discern what I can learn from their journey or how that character can help me better get in touch with my own current journey. Characters I’m fascinated by in the present can even trigger memories of old experiences from the past and be an invitation to do more healing.

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# 93$ Music is an emotional conductor that helps me get in touch with good feelings and not feel so alone when I’m feeling down.

X

When I want to get in touch with a yummy feeling, like joy or peace, I can find a song that brings that feeling out in me. Sad songs help me process more difficult feelings too. Whether I want to celebrate or chill out or work through something painful, I can come up with a playlist or album that suits. Listening to one of my favorite musical artists calms and comforts me, acting like a lullaby for my soul.

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£ 94¢ When something tugs at my heart— a book, a place, a cause, an event, or a person—I pay close attention.

L

Now and again I pause and ask myself, who, what, or where has tugged at my heart lately? It might be a book I feel called to read, an organization I feel called to donate to, a place I feel called to visit, an event I feel called to attend, or a person I feel called to connect with. Is there someone new or something new or someplace new I encountered recently and got a strong positive feeling about?

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£ 95¢ When I’m tempted to be hard on myself, I ask, “What would I tell my best friend if they were in the same situation?”

L

I try to be my own best friend and imagine what loving guidance I would offer a dear friend if they were dealing with whatever I’m dealing with. Whenever I embarrass or disappoint myself, instead of piling on shaming thoughts, I’m learning to comfort myself like a good friend would. Being my own best friend also means offering myself wise criticism or telling myself a hard truth in a way that is loving and supportive.

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¡ 96 ™ When I find myself in a new environment, I like to imagine that behind some of the strange faces are old friends just waiting to be discovered.

B Making new friends takes time and effort. To encourage myself to be more outgoing with new people, I think back to the first time I met someone who eventually became a close friend. Sometimes I play a fun energy experiment to see if I can make someone—like a potential new friend—smile or relax just by the energy I bring to our interaction. I show myself love by bringing new people into my life who mirror love back to me.

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¡ 97 ™ Eating clean is an important part of my self-care routine.

B I stop to notice how my body feels—light or heavy, calm or anxious, energized or tired—after eating certain foods or enjoying certain drinks. Mealtimes aren’t just a chance to choose healthy foods—they’re also a chance to check in with myself and see what I’m craving emotionally. I feed my self-love practice by feeding my body powerful nutrients.

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´ 98 ´ I don’t always have to take the bait. Sometimes it’s wise to pick my battles and lessen the overall drama of the day.

D If an interaction online or in person is causing unnecessary drama, I can disengage. And I don’t have to get attention by creating drama, like needing to have the last word in an argument. When I’m wanting more attention from the people in my life, I ask for it directly. I also notice anyone else creating a lot of drama and discern whether what they really want is loving attention. Unnecessary drama is draining and offers me little reward! I can tell which battles are important and which ones are a waste of my time and energy.

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´ 99 ´ When I get a message from my body that it needs more support, I listen.

D I treat my body gently, lovingly, and with respect. Each day I ask, “What does my body need from me today?” Whether my body needs a brisk exercise session or a long nap, I try to be friends with my body and meet its needs, which could include good food, medicine, natural supplements, an appointment with a health-care practitioner, or just some unconditional love. Being with my body unconditionally means never abandoning myself. Are there any messages my body is sending me that I can pay more attention to?

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# 100 $ One snapshot of someone else’s life is not the whole picture and rarely captures their unique struggles and challenges. 

X

Looking at life through a wider-angle lens is a good coping strategy when I feel jealous. Everyone in my life is in a different season in their journey, and while a close friend might be in the abundant harvest time of autumn regarding their excellent health, they might be struggling or feeling challenged regarding other aspects of their life. It’s always healing for me to focus on my life and what is beautiful about it today. Whether I’m in the fertile, active season of spring regarding my relationships, or in the still, reflective season of winter regarding my career, I focus on what is beautiful in my life now. 102

# 101$ My inner critic is just trying to keep me safe, because stepping out in new ways can be scary.

X

Instead of fighting it, I make friends with my inner critic and give it a peace offering. I can do this by acknowledging that being vulnerable and stepping out in new ways is a risk, while reminding my inner critic that this risk comes with rewards—like new opportunities, experiences, lessons, relationships, and ways of being with myself. When I take a risk and make a mistake, I forgive myself quickly. Life is too short to hold a grudge against myself. My inner critic might mimic a critical person I know or grew up with. If my inner dialogue is shaming, judgmental, or too critical, I’ll remember that I’m one of my own best friends and treat myself as such. 103

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Just like a battery, sometimes I need to recharge.

S

When I require a fresh power supply, I engage in one of my favorite recharge activities, like stretching, eating a healthy snack, meditating, watching an episode of my favorite show, lying in Savasana pose, having a power nap, or just goofing off. When I’ve overextended myself, I build in recovery time. Giving my body, mind, and energy a complete break helps me reboot.

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I bloom where I’m planted.

S

Whether the metaphorical soil and growing conditions in my life and world are ideal or anything but, I try to bloom where I’m planted. For inspiration, I can look at images of flowers online, visit flowers in my garden or a local park, or buy myself fresh flowers and keep them where I can see, smell, and enjoy them. When they wilt, I thank flowers for their gifts. Flower power always makes my spirit bloom! When I can bloom despite harsh or unforgiving circumstances, the blossom smells so much sweeter.

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£ 104¢ Gossip can feel stimulating in the moment, but like a sugar high, it makes me crash quickly.

L

If I find myself genuinely curious about other people’s lives, that’s healthy. Other people’s journeys can provide me with wisdom, comfort, and inspiration, so I seek out balanced and credible information about people I find intriguing. But empty, overly negative gossip weighs my spirit down. If someone tries to steer a conversation toward gossip, I can diplomatically change the subject. I put healthy boundaries around gossip so I don’t have to experience its heavy, downer energy.

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£ 105¢ I’m embracing my own evolution within the aging process.

L

My body is changing as I get older, and while I love looking and feeling my best, I’m also trying to age naturally. I’m discovering my own unique balance between supporting my physical body as it ages and gracefully allowing the aging process to do its thing. Looking older, while still taking good care of myself, can be very sexy! I identify people in the public eye who seem to be aging gracefully—in a way that resonates with me—and use them for inspiration.

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¡ 106™ A few times throughout the day I pause to notice my breathing, which can be an indication of my stress levels.

B When I find I’m holding my breath, or that my breathing is rapid and shallow, I stop and take some slow, deep breaths. Just being mindful of my breath can help lessen feelings of stress and send a message to my body that I am safe. Coming back to myself and my breath is a safe place to be.

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¡ 107 ™ When I’m confused about which direction to take, I make a list of my values and priorities. I consider these my North Star.

B Supporting loved ones, following my dreams, living in the moment, being a force of kindness and justice in the world, being of service to others, creating earthly stability for myself, practicing radical self-love, taking healthy risks, or engaging in honest self-inventory are just some of the values and priorities that guide me. Periodically I’ll make a list of my North Star principles, since they can change or evolve with time. I know where I’m heading because I know how I want to feel, what I want to experience, and what I want to contribute on my journey.

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¡ 108 ™ Every morning I like to set a positive tone for the day.

I might tell myself something encouraging like, “You’ve got this,” or head straight for a positive mantra such as, “I’m a good person and life is supporting me in unexpected ways.” Choosing to see the cup as half full instead of half empty is also a great way to start my day. Finding something small to be grateful for in the moment always makes me feel more positive.

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¡ 109 ™ I have an aura of self-love and self-respect that is invisible yet surrounds me always.

L

Whenever I interact with someone, even if it’s on the phone or over email, I remind myself that they experience my loving, dignified aura. This sets the energetic vibe and helps our encounter to be more mutually respectful. I don’t have to say or do anything special to share my warm, loving energy with others. My self-love practice generates a warm, loving energy that radiates out like the rays of the sun.

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´ 110 ´ Sometimes the best things that happen to me are the experiences and people I never saw coming.

D Any day could become one of the days that some big, magical, and unexpected gift comes into my life, like the day I met my partner, was informed out of the blue that I got a promotion, or heard miraculously happy news from my doctor. I’ve had many amazing experiences in my life, but I like to think that the best is yet to come. I try to exist in a state of wonder, knowing that there will be amazing experiences for me in the future, some of which I could never anticipate.

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´ 111 ´ Keeping all my fears in my head makes them expand. Sharing my worries makes space in my mind for more positive potential outcomes.

D Instead of worrying and wondering how things will turn out, I want to get better at focusing on what’s worth celebrating during each leg of the journey, like how far I have come, how much I have learned, or how well things are going right now. Feeling fear—especially about the future—is a normal and sometimes healthy part of being human. Yet I never have to go through a scary experience on my own. I identify my fears or worries and share them with someone safe and supportive.

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# 112$ Some days when I’m anxious, keeping busy keeps me feeling sane and grounded.

X

Instead of stewing and brooding about something I cannot control, I find ways to stay busy that are productive, like decluttering a part of my home or office, or catching up on to-do list items I’ve put off. That’s all I can control today, and it’s also the best way to nurture tomorrow. When I’m anxious, I remind myself that all I need to do is support myself through the next twenty-four hours.

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# 113$ Concentrating on what went well each day is powerful. At the end of the day, I spend a few moments focusing on what went well. This improves my energy and mood, and helps create more of the same tomorrow! In the evenings I also like to check in with myself and ask, “What didn’t I get enough of today?” Whether it’s fun, rest, connection, love, productivity, creative expression, healing, or physical movement, I can then prioritize that activity in the coming days. Evenings are an ideal time to grab a few moments of quiet reflection.

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£ 114¢ Being honest with others about my emotional experience is one way to improve my relationships.

L

When addressing a tough issue with a loved one, I proceed honestly yet compassionately. Being more honest with a partner, friend, family member, or colleague and letting them know if I’m happy, upset, or just generally more emotional lately is information worth having—because I’m worth having in people’s lives! Honesty is best paired with compassion. I’m especially compassionate about other people’s emotional experience as I express my own.

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£ 115¢ Not getting what I desire can be— in hindsight—a blessing in disguise. But it still really hurts in the moment.

L

I’m honest with myself about disappointments so I don’t downplay or minimize my challenging emotions. Feeling disappointed is heartbreaking. Remembering that, most times, it could have been worse connects me to gratitude. In hindsight, certain disappointments become blessings in disguise because what I desired would not have been best for me in the long run. Disappointments are an opportunity to nurture myself and validate my own emotional experience. When I feel disappointed, allowing myself to stop and process my emotions and then pivoting to gratitude is my two-step method for bouncing back.

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¡ 116 ™ When I upset someone in my life, I can sit mindfully and objectively with their disappointment or anger.

B I understand that others can have challenging emotions about me, yet I don’t have to take those emotions on as if they were my own. I can be respectful of and open to other people’s emotional experience, while still honoring my own. The only thing I may be able to control about an upsetting situation with someone else is my attitude and my approach. Others are allowed to have their own emotional experience, just as I’m allowed to have mine. It’s not a perfect science, but I can practice choosing what I allow into my own system.

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¡ 117 ™ It’s important to allow myself to get excited and hopeful! My heart longs to feel and expand.

B I hone in on things in my life that show potential and allow me to feel excited and hopeful. I don’t have to protect my heart by always guarding it against rejection and heartache. Being hopeful is an expansive energy that fills me with joy. When I practice realistic optimism, my hopes have a better chance of being realized. Realistic optimism keeps me going through any discouraging developments.

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When I can accept what I’m feeling, it’s easier to get curious about why I’m feeling that way.

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My feelings don’t need to be judged by anyone, including me. It is safe for me to feel all my feelings, which contain many layers of meaning. But with very difficult feelings and experiences, I can lovingly allow myself to process and digest them in small chunks. If I catch myself stewing in a difficult emotion or negative experience, I can step back and take a break by focusing my thoughts elsewhere or seeking coping tools and support from others. Giving myself space from an emotion brings about healing epiphanies around why I’m feeling something. 120

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Doing things “just for me”— instead of always considering everyone else’s feelings, needs, and desires— is a powerful way to nurture myself.

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Whether it’s spoiling myself with a spa treatment or volunteering with others because I know giving back will make me happy, doing something just for me actually gives me more energy and grace to share with others. Some days I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everything better for everyone. Because I can’t, I focus on doing what I can for others and especially for myself.

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´ 120 ´ They say that sometimes when you can’t get what you really want, you do get what you actually need.

D In hindsight, I sometimes realize that what I wanted in the past was not what would have been best for me. Pondering the wisdom of hindsight always encourages me to be more open and flexible in the moment. When stormy weather hits my life, I look for the silver linings in the clouds, even if they take some time to reveal themselves.

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´ 121 ´ When I have anxiety about something, one of my coping skills is to identify a manageable action step I can take to better handle the situation.

D Self-love is giving my full attention to whatever I’m doing, including the next-best action step to take. This allows my mind to focus on something productive, creating fewer racing thoughts. I check in with myself to see if I have been doing anything lately that typically increases my anxiety levels— like getting to bed too late, overspending, procrastinating on a deadline, burying my feelings, eating too much junk food, courting unnecessary drama, drinking too much coffee, or skipping my meditation practice. My anxiety can be circumstantial, so there are certain things I like to watch out for to help keep my anxiety levels lower. 123

# 122 $ I enjoy reinventing myself!

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Reinventing myself might be an attitude makeover, like trying to be more hopeful, or more proactive and assertive, or a physical makeover, like trying a new hairstyle or a new and healthier way of eating. I can try new things while still being the authentic me and being true to myself. It takes courage to step out in new ways, and I have many methods for tapping into my inner reserve of courage. When the winds of change are blowing, I take notice and take action to reinvent an aspect of myself or my life accordingly.

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# 123$ No matter what my family thinks of me at any given moment, I’m a gift and a miracle.

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I don’t need the love or approval of anyone I’m related to in order to realize that I’m a blessing. When I’m spending time with family and I find myself getting frustrated, I can bring my own inner peace to the situation. It can be an act of self-love and self-preservation to take the high road with challenging family members. I’m not limited to family who are relatives. There is a family I was born or adopted into, and a family of friends I’ve chosen along the way.

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£ 124¢ Accepting a temporary and frustrating situation can actually help me find the hidden blessings or meaning.

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Delays can occasionally be a hint from life that I need to spend more time somewhere, or on something, than I thought. Looking back, there were times when I experienced a frustrating delay and it turned out to be a lesson in disguise. Sometimes an experience that, on the surface, is merely frustrating can hold deeper meaning. When my plans are delayed or canceled, I try to make a game out of seeing if I can enjoy myself anyway. Sometimes joy is a state of mind.

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£ 125¢ Seeing life as an adventure is a more exciting and empowering way to look at the journey. That means being okay with not always knowing what’s around the bend.

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I try to view the uncertainty in my life through the eyes of an adventurous explorer. Instead of meeting uncertainty only with fear and anxiety, I practice also meeting it with curiosity, hope, or excitement. When the future feels particularly uncertain, self-love is a stabilizing force in my life.

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¡ 126™ Finding a way to keep moving forward is part of how I heal from trauma.

B When I experience a trauma that makes me feel frozen or immobile— whether it was a poor decision I made, an injury I sustained, a major financial setback, or being victimized by someone else—I seek out support via individual counseling, books by experts, or supportive loved ones. I can also connect with people who’ve had an experience similar to mine—like an online support group for addiction, a book by someone who is also grieving a spouse, or an inspirational documentary about someone who overcame an obstacle similar to one in my own life. No one else has walked in my shoes, but connecting with people who’ve had experiences similar to mine can be healing and helps me move forward.

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¡ 127 ™ I’m a work in progress, yet I feel deep admiration for myself when I realize just how far I’ve come.

B When I think back to a journey that brought me far from where I started—a healing journey, a relationship journey, a career journey, a financial journey, an inner-work journey, or even a journey around the world—I feel so much love and admiration for myself. Working on my own self-improvement and healing is part of how I show up for a larger humanity. There’s a ripple effect, because appreciating myself raises my level of compassion for the whole world.

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¡ 128 ™ Touch has a healing power all its own. Healthy touch is nourishing for my spirit and essential to my physical well-being.

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Whether it’s asking for a hug from a friend or a roommate, pulling a child up on my lap to read them a story, snuggling with a pet, rubbing my favorite sweet-smelling lotion into my hands, cocooning under my favorite sheets or blankets, placing my hand over my heart, or going to get a massage from a gentle and caring practitioner, I explore ways in which I can give myself the healing power of touch. When a physical hug isn’t possible, a virtual one can be just as comforting. 130

¡ 129 ™ Some days it feels impossible to look on the bright side. On those days, I’m very gentle with myself.

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Looking on the bright side of a tough situation can be healing or helpful—but only if it feels right. If not, I’m simply extra gentle with myself, especially in my own thoughts. I also reach out to a counselor, loved one, or anybody else who is good at offering gentle support. When I’m ready to look on the bright side, reminding myself that a cactus produces bright, beautiful blossoms even in harsh environments provides gentle inspiration.

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´ 130 ´ Real life might not always be like a fairy tale, but happy endings are still possible!

D Thinking back on some things that ended happily, like one of my work projects, one of my personal relationships, or even a situation in the larger world, always reminds me that happy endings aren’t just for Hollywood. Sometimes in life, things do work out really well! It’s safe to expect good things, because good things—and sometimes great things—really do happen all the time.

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´ 131 ´ I have some favorite humans, and I love to celebrate them.

I find creative ways to celebrate loved ones, like writing a love letter or email telling them all the ways I think they’re special, buying a plant to remind them of me, popping a care package in the mail, making a playlist of our favorite songs, or making them their favorite meal. The older I get, the less “stuff” I want. At this point in my life, I’m really craving tenderness and connection with my favorite humans. When I find myself distracted and yearning for material things, I ask myself if what I’m really seeking, deep down, is tenderness and human connection.

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# 132$ I can always use more carefree moments in my life.

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Staying in touch with what makes me feel carefree—like exercising, daydreaming, writing, drawing, playing with a child or pet, lounging, or laughing with a loved one—helps me create more carefree moments. Deep inner work, like self-love, is so rewarding, but I need to blow off steam as well to stay in balance. Being playful is a great way for me to blow off steam! All people deserve and crave that feeling of freedom.

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# 133$ The days when I’m not my best self are the days I need compassion from myself the most.

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When I observe that I’m not at my best on a certain day, I discern what I need—more rest; new medication or supplements; more support; more fun; a break in the battle at work; or a vent session to a friend, my journal, or a counselor. As I meet myself with compassion, I can maintain my healthy boundaries with myself or hold myself accountable. Knowing there were times in the past when I was not at my best makes me more compassionate toward people who aren’t at their best right now. When I encounter someone who is not at their best, I can meet them with compassion even as I remind them of my boundaries or hold them accountable.

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£ 134¢ I know there are times to give and times to receive. On an ideal day, I get to do both!

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I’m dancing with what life brings, looking for opportunities to give but also to receive, paying close attention to how I feel about and work with these concepts. Giving to others is an act of self-care and self-love, because I receive feel-good vibes from giving. When I cut myself off from someone else’s kindness, I deny others the joy that comes from generous giving. If someone tries to give me something, let me receive it freely instead of worrying that I need to earn or deserve it.

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£ 135¢ Loved ones who have passed away are still in my heart, and remembering the good times together makes a loved one feel even closer.

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I can look at an old picture of me with a loved one who has passed, swap memories with someone who knew my loved one, listen to one of their favorite songs, make one of their favorite dishes, wear their jewelry, or hold one of their favorite objects. I can even dedicate a day to a loved one who passed and honor their memory by finding the beauty and magic in the ordinary moments of that day. When I think of loved ones who have passed, I honor them and myself by remembering that every day—even a really tough day— is a gift.

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¡ 136 ™ Some days the best I can do is make the best of a bad situation. It helps that I have special coping skills for bad situations.

B Finding some small thing to be grateful for, putting my situation into larger perspective by looking around at other people’s difficult situations, drawing on hard-won wisdom from bad situations in my past, letting myself have a cleansing cry, and showing myself mercy and tenderness through the process help me cope with bad situations. Self-connection and self-compassion are my safe place to shelter through any storm.

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¡ 137 ™ Old wounds can require new healing, and everyone deserves healing.

B I observe my life like a detective to see if something or someone in the present is triggering wounds from my past. Just pausing to remind myself I’m being triggered from the past helps put me back into the reality of my current situation and explains any over-the-top emotional reactions. If my old wounds are ready for a new level or type of healing, I seek out support from a health-care provider, a loved one, or an expert.

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Curling up with a great book always calms my nervous system.

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When I’m not currently reading a book I love, I ask friends for a recommendation or check the new releases in my favorite genres. Rainy evenings or lazy Sunday afternoons are great times to curl up with a chapter from one of my favorite inspirational books, get lost in a delicious story, read a memoir by someone who has gone through experiences similar to my own, or learn something helpful in a book by an expert. Words on the printed page can be incredibly comforting.

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When my feelings are hurt, it doesn’t help to pretend I’m okay and keep it all inside.

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If I’m hurt and feeling raw, I do a little emotional maintenance work and process the hurt by sharing it with someone neutral, having a cry with a favorite song, or channeling it into a creative project. Sometimes when I journal, my heart spills out onto the page. Writing about my hurt feelings helps me get in touch with heart energy and heart wisdom. Finding a healthy way to express the hurt helps me nurture myself—and get over the hurt faster.

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# 140$  Stretching myself to take healthy risks is a practice I’m becoming more mindful of.

X Just like the giraffe sometimes has to stretch to find the best leaves and twigs to eat, I might have to stretch in new ways to reach my goals. Venturing safely outside my comfort zone and taking a healthy risk can be the most rewarding action step. Being more proactive, improvisational, and experimental about my life is a healthy habit that gets easier and comes more naturally with time.

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# 141$ If I find myself craving more love— maybe through accolades or by wishing someone would tell me I’m special— I remember that love is a gift I can give to myself anytime.

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I know that everyone is special and worthy—including me. Occasionally I like to ponder ways I’m worthy of special praise, instead of waiting for someone else to tell me. People I admire—whether they are people I know intimately, people in the public eye, or historical figures—provide wonderful inspiration for my professional and personal life. Self-love is reminding myself I’m already special while giving myself something worthy to aspire to!

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Sometimes my heart breaks over the tragedies, injustices, and suffering in the world, and that’s okay. It’s how I stay connected to my humanity.

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When I am emotionally moved by something upsetting in the world, I consider how I might peacefully advocate for change—with my voting choices, my lifestyle choices, a letter or email to a public official, my volunteer time, or my financial resources. Perhaps it’s only when I allow myself to be emotionally moved that I’m inspired to be a change agent. Feeling my individual anger or sadness, and then finding a way to peacefully advocate for change, can create positive, collective shifts in the world.

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There are certain natural character traits in me that I used to fight. Now I’m learning to work with and lovingly accept them.

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When I identify a natural character trait I possess, like a propensity to talk a lot in group settings or a tendency to shy away from new people, I work to lovingly accept this about myself. When I accept a natural and sometimes challenging character trait, it’s easier to harness its benefits and work with its downsides. I’m a real character, and I like that!

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£ 144¢ Occasionally I observe someone I know personally or someone in the public eye and think, “I wish I were strong like them.” Then I remember that I have my own unique strength.

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I can find words to describe my unique type of strength, like bold, kind, brave, compassionate, subtle, resilient, humorous, or nurturing. I can cultivate new types of strength too. I have survived so much—remembering the obstacles I've overcome from the past, and that the same power I used then still runs through me, makes me feel strong. While it can be painful to look at struggles in the past, those situations can be used as inspiration and strength for me today.

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£ 145¢ As much as I love them, the children in my family or in my life really are separate from me and on their own paths.

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I let children in my life know that I love them and offer my encouragement, recognizing how these children are unique and already showing signs of being on their own paths. When I know young people are watching and listening, I take extra care to show myself respect in my words and my actions, knowing that modeling great self-respect to the children and young people in my life is a gift. Giving a child a gift is an honor, and gifts come in all types of packages—I could share my time, smile, undivided attention, wisdom, or humor.

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¡ 146 ™ Being angry doesn’t make me an angry person. It’s healthy and natural to get angry now and again.

B

If something in the larger world makes me angry or frustrated, I consider whether there’s a way for me to help by taking a meaningful and peaceful action step. If I feel angry about something small, like not finding a parking space, I’ll remind myself that anger is natural. Sometimes getting angry over small things means I’m really angry about something bigger. If I’m ever feeling angry a lot, I get help because I’m not an angry person. I can process anger by moving my body, listening to music, advocating for myself, drawing clearer boundaries with others, making a donation or doing another helpful action, or sharing how I’m feeling with someone safe and supportive who can calmly hold space for me.

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¡ 147 ™ There’s something ancient and awe-inspiring about trees.

B Whether I’m standing in a lush forest or looking at a single tree in a shopping mall parking lot, I feel more connected to the Earth’s healing, mystical, magical energy when I’m around trees. Donating to an environmental charity, making my home more green, creating healthy habits with my diet, lowering my carbon footprint, recycling, planting a tree or shrub, or sending healing energy to the earth during my daily meditation are all ways to honor trees. We humans take and benefit so much from the Earth, so I conserve and give back.

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´ 148 ´ All my actions have consequences.

D When I’m not rushing around from one thing to the next, it’s easier for me to take action that’s for my highest good. If I really want something—whether it’s an insignificant purchase or a major decision that could change the course of my life—I ask my heart if it’s my smaller self or my higher self who is yearning. The smaller part of me can be impulsive and has trouble seeing the larger picture, while my higher self has access to a better road map. Before I take action, I take a beat and check in with my wise higher self. Yet one choice, action, or moment in time does not define me. At my core I am love, and nothing will ever change that.

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´ 149 ´ When I slow down, I can feel the sacred energy of life and all people, plants, and animals.

D Slowing down makes me more present and better able to notice and honor the sacred life force in others. I need sacred times during the week when I press pause on chores and work to relax. Life is sacred, and I have traditions, practices, and routines that honor and celebrate that. Let me take more still, silent moments to honor the sacred nature of life and nurture the sacred life force within me.

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´ 150 ´ When I’m angry, I think twice before I speak. It’s an act of self-love to avoid having to damage control my comments later.

If I get frustrated with someone, before I shoot my mouth off I take a breath and give myself a beat to consider a response that I won’t regret later. Sometimes when I’m angry at another person, I realize that I’m truly upset with them. Other times I realize that they are just a convenient place for me to project my anger about something else. Reflecting on what or whom I’m truly angry with can be revelatory.

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´ 151 ´ A little competition is healthy, and I’m only really in competition with myself.

D I aim to be a little wiser, a little kinder, and a little more responsible than a younger version of myself. In that way, I’m winning my most important race. Achieving isn’t about competing with others. It’s about bringing out the best in myself and seeing what I’m capable of. My worthiness does not depend on outer achievements—when I’m clear on that, I’m inspired to achieve in a more authentic way. When I want to feel inspired, I watch or listen to someone performing at their best, like a famous musician or athlete.

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# 152$ Pauses are a healing, nurturing act of self-love that allow me to step back and let life happen organically.

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I find ways to take time-outs, planting the seeds of my dreams, tending them, and then waiting for them to grow. If I catch myself overtending something in my life—a relationship, a work project, or anything else—I remind myself that growth happens naturally over time. Pausing for moments of healing, nurturing rest each day is quite productive, helping me ground back into my own energy and center myself. It’s from that centered place that I am most powerful.

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# 153$ Beneath my formidable outer layer, I’m actually quite delicate.

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No matter how capable I am of rising to life’s daily challenges, there’s still a part of me that is vulnerable. I can connect with that delicate part of myself and nurture it. Tenderness is a positive, nourishing force that I can more mindfully align with anytime. Part of tenderness is allowing myself to be vulnerable with myself and with others. Embracing vulnerability and nurturing my tender, delicate side sustains me through life’s challenges.

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£ 154¢ So many things in life are about timing. While timing can be out of my control, I’ve gotten better at sensing it.

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When I want to surrender what’s beyond my control, like the ideal timing of something coming into or leaving my life, doing a little ritual can help. When a project, a goal, or a relationship needs to be surrendered so I can gain more perspective and balance, I’ll write this issue down on a piece of paper and bury it in my backyard, set it in a small dish with rose petals or a crystal on top, or hold the paper while saying a prayer of release and then throwing it away. Does the time feel right for some of my dreams and not quite right for others?

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£ 155¢ Sometimes the wisest, bravest thing I can do is quit, and there’s no shame in that.

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When I might need to throw in the towel on a goal or role, I start by contemplating how to do that in an honorable, responsible, considerate way. It can be painful when one chapter of my life ends. There may be no going back, but there’s always a way forward. When one path ends, I look for signs of a new path forward, or simply trust that a path is being formed even if I cannot see evidence of it yet.

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¡ 156 ™ Like the moon, I go through phases. I love lighting up the world, and I also love retreating to restore myself.

B Occasionally I ask myself, “Which phase am I in? Do I need to light up the world and be more outgoing in my personal and professional lives, or am I in a restorative phase where I need to pull back, rest, and nurture myself?” Some days I love to be in the thick of it, surrounded by lots of action, noise, and excitement. Other days I crave retreat with quiet, contemplative time. Whether I’m craving high energy or a low-key vibe, self-love is honoring my mood and the current phase I’m in.

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¡ 157 ™ We live in a digital world, yet behind all the screens and social media accounts are human hearts.

B Whether I’m interacting with someone in an online forum, over email, or in a text, I try to show them kindness. It’s a way to value my heart and theirs. Humans are powerful, fascinating creatures who are always better when valuing their loving hearts. I’m mindful of showing more humanity to myself and others in this digital age. When I’m online, my heart is online too.

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Pretending to be someone I’m not wastes too much time and energy.

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Being the authentic me might be messier, but it’s much less tiring. As I observe myself throughout the day, I take note of when I am pretending with people and wearing a mask that takes too much effort to hold up. Revealing what is going on beneath that mask might be much less draining. There’s only one of me, so I owe the world my authenticity. No one else can play the part I’m meant to play in the grand scheme of life.

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Sunset and sunrise are times when I can set the intention to connect with the Earth, a higher power, or something larger than myself.

S

Occasionally I make a point to wake up early and watch the sunrise or step outside in the evening and watch the sunset. Even small breaks during the day—when I can just be—increase my stamina. Downtime lets my nervous system unwind so my soul can feel more expansive. Connecting with something larger than myself at certain times throughout the day connects me to my limitless soul. 161

´ 160 ´ When I’m feeling aggravated, touchy, or easily triggered, it can be a sign that my needs are not being met.

D If I’m super reactive lately, it might be a hint that I’m burned out. When I’m upset and easily triggered, I can lean on the people who care about me to help me look at situations from an eagle’s perspective, which is harder to discern when I’m burned out. Getting other people’s opinions on a situation that is really upsetting gives me a broader perspective. Burnout also demands that I up my self-care game. Seeing life objectively from an eagle’s perspective provides relief, fresh insights, and helps me recover from burnout.

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´ 161 ´ When I want the world to feel more sparkly, I find ways to light the spark within me.

When I’m longing for one day that’s all love and rainbows, I can begin creating that feeling inside myself, no matter what the outer world is like. What attitude makes me feel all love and rainbows inside? A grateful attitude? An adventurous attitude? A peaceful attitude? A playful attitude? I can adopt an internal attitude that I’m longing to experience in the outside world.

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# 162$ The best way to increase overall productivity is to give myself a lazy day.

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I consult my calendar and pencil in lazy days when I can take things slow, let myself unwind, and recharge my batteries. Self-love is discerning what each day calls for—whether I need to put something safely and responsibly off to cut myself slack or roll up my sleeves and get to work. Each day calls for something different: healthy procrastination, assertive action, or perhaps a unique combination of both.

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# 163$ Even on days when it feels like I have a major or minor setback, I’m getting better at being “me.”

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If I’m working on controlling my temper and I blow up at someone or I’m trying to save money and I impulsively purchase an item I don’t need, I show myself loving kindness. When I’m working to change my patterns, it’s natural to have moments when I backslide. Getting better at being “me” is truly my most important work in the world, because I have so much to give and offer the world.

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£ 164¢ I let my loved ones know that they are loved.

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Showing people I love them strengthens my relationships and keeps the feel-good vibes flowing my way. I can show people I love them through offering them loving words, loving touches, loving acts of service, loving gifts, or loving time spent together. Sometimes I step outside at night, find a twinkling star in the sky, and make a wish for a loved one, silently sending the power of my love. The universe is alive and listening. When I make a wish or say a prayer, I strum on a string in my heart that is tied to something infinitely larger, more graceful, and more commanding.

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£ 165¢ The first evidence of successful manifestation can be the universe showing me any obstacles to getting what I want.

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Manifesting my dreams and goals is a journey with many mile markers. When resistance shows up, it can be a sign I need to pivot and go in another direction. Or it can be a sign that life is helping me discern what’s standing in the way of my heart’s desire so I have a road map to accomplishing my goal. Realizing what I need to work on or work through to get to the next level of my dreams is the gateway to manifesting my heart’s desire.

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¡ 166™ When I want something with all my heart, I find a way to reach for the stars while still keeping my feet on the ground.

B Reaching for the stars while staying grounded is a balancing act I’m getting better at. I give something I really want my absolute best effort, remembering that if it doesn’t work out I’ll be fine. And maybe something even better will reveal itself. When I’m reaching for the stars with a dream or goal, I stay grounded by prioritizing my self-care, my mental and emotional health, and my ability to live with faith in the present moment.

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¡ 167 ™ The biggest undertakings are usually completed inch by inch, tiny step by tiny step.

B My action steps are cumulative, so when I take a tiny step toward a big dream, I congratulate or reward myself! Life can feel so rushed, so every now and then I will deliberately take my time and do something slowly to reset my natural rhythm to a healthier pace. I don’t have to rush through my life to accomplish big things. What big dream am I inching toward?

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´ 168 ´ Young, small things can display a fierce determination to grow and thrive. I’m always inspired and motivated by their example.

D Whether it’s the mighty grip of an infant’s hand or the tiny plant that quickly takes root in a new pot, I look for evidence of small, young things determined to grow and thrive. When something new and healthy is growing in my life—like a new attitude, side hustle, health goal, or relationship—I’m protective of it. I encourage and protect new healthy growth in my life by sticking to a disciplined routine, making time for a budding friendship, or waiting to launch a new project into the world until it’s strong and sturdy.

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´ 169 ´ I use self-love to help me transform jealousy into inspiration.

D If I get jealous about something someone else has—whether it’s an award or a relationship or a very healthy body or a great selflove practice—I use their example as inspiration to go after what I want. Then I can create a version of what they have that would be a good fit for me and my life. When I’m jealous, I ponder what I have to be thankful for right now, stuff others might even be envious of just as I can sometimes be envious of them.

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When I overgive, I minimize both the gift and myself.

I practice giving in a balanced way. I love offering someone a good piece of advice, helping somebody with a chore, or just trying to brighten another person’s day in a meaningful way. If I feel stressed or frustrated while giving, it may be a sign that I am overgiving. It makes me feel so content to give in a balanced way. I can give to others without giving myself away.

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Staying on top of my responsibilities provides me a deep sense of peace and grounding.

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Every day I aim to perform small yet responsible actions— like paying a bill, eating a healthy lunch, giving 100 percent to a task, or showing up for a loved one. To-do lists can be motivating and empowering. They can also be intimidating! When I am able to cross one intimidating thing off my todo list that I have been procrastinating on, it gives me the confidence and courage to tackle other things. Is there something I’ve been procrastinating on that I could cross off my to-do list soon?

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When something isn’t flowing smoothly in my life, I ask myself, “Should I put my attention elsewhere or keep pushing?”

B If something isn’t flowing smoothly—a career project, a relationship, a health goal, an investment strategy—I meditate on whether I should push forward in a new way or temporarily give it a break. I wait for a feeling of peace or certainty, letting me know I’ve arrived at the best resolution. I can push myself to be my best while also loving myself no matter how my efforts end up looking in the world.

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Compliments about me don’t have to come from other people.

B I give myself compliments on a regular basis about the way I handled a situation, the way I dressed, or something I accomplished. Complimenting myself is easy! I can compliment myself in my journal, in my thoughts, or while talking about myself to a friend. After I give myself a compliment, I make a point of giving a child, a co-worker, or even a cashier I interact with at a store a compliment and spread the love around.

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£ 174¢ I’m here for a reason. The proof is that I’m alive and reading these words.

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Other people may underestimate me, but I don’t have to underestimate myself. I’m capable of more than I realize. Is my heart telling me I’m capable of more in some area of my life? My heart will guide me toward what is meant for me. Everyone is here for a reason, including me. I give myself permission to let my reason, or reasons, change and evolve.

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£ 175¢ When the vibes around me are intense, a great self-care technique is to create a grounded, calm space for myself.

L

There are some physical spaces where I sense a special, healing vibe, and simply being in one of these spots calms me. Whether they’re public places like spiritual centers and popular nature destinations or more personal spaces like the home of a loved one or a spot in nature that is special to just me, even picturing these places and imagining myself there helps call in a healing vibe. Holding a grounded, calm space inside myself may be the best gift to offer anyone around me who is feeling intense.

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¡ 176 ™ People who are younger than I am still have valuable wisdom to share.

B I enjoy learning from all generations. You’re only as old as you feel, and I’m learning to be young at heart. I can approach my life in a more youthful way by appreciating and incorporating the wisdom of younger people. Let me seek out or recognize the wisdom of a younger generation, whether it’s someone just a few years younger than I am or a small child.

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¡ 177 ™ When I want to feel extra protected, I carry a talisman or sacred object.

B My talisman might be a favorite crystal, heart-shaped stone, small angel figurine, or anything else that makes me feel protected and connected to my spirituality. If I need to have a hard conversation with a loved one, a creditor, a doctor, or a co-worker, I can hold on to my sacred object during that conversation or keep it in my pocket to feel more supported. Self-love helps me feel more secure, supported, and safe.

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# 178$ I’m a star, so I don’t let anyone stop me from shining.

X

Because I’m sensitive, I can take other people’s words very much to heart. Yet often an overly critical remark about me from someone else says much more about the person judging than it does about me. What am I naturally good at? What do I love doing? What did I want to be as a child? These are questions I ask myself when pondering the brilliant ways I shine. I can honor the shining star inside me by stepping outside at night, doing a little star gazing, and bathing in that celestial glow.

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# 179$ I can capture a memory— including all the sensory detail— just by being more present in the moment.

X

Taking a picture on my phone isn’t the only way to capture a lovely moment. I practice being more present by paying attention to how a moment affects my five physical senses so I can store the memory away on my human hard drive. When I want to linger in a lovely moment, I focus on what I’m seeing, feeling, tasting, smelling, and hearing so I can savor the memory later.

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´ 180 ´ Admitting I’m scared about something in my life or that’s happening in the world can actually make me feel less fearful.

D When there’s something I’m scared about, I admit it to myself and identify one other safe, supportive person I can admit my fear to— like a counselor, loved one, trusted health-care provider, or caring colleague. Admitting my fears helps me discern whether it’s healthy fear (to be acted upon or paid attention to) or toxic fear (something overblown and irrational). Any type of fear means my sensitive system needs TLC. I don’t need to be afraid of my challenging emotions. Keeping my fears to myself can make them seem much worse than the reality of the situation.

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´ 181 ´ On certain days I will fall short of my own expectations for myself, and that’s okay.

D When I let myself down on a certain day, I look at the situation objectively to see how I might do better in a similar situation next time. Then I can move on, waiting for life to provide me with opportunities to improve. There are a lot of variables that go into the equation of how much I can accomplish in one day—like how I’m feeling physically and emotionally, which responsibilities have to be met, and what will make me feel most content. Sometimes I have to adjust my expectations of myself depending upon what the day brings.

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Some days simply being human is amazing and magical— other days it can be really tough and demanding.

S

I cut myself plenty of slack as a human—just the fact that I’m showing up in the world and participating counts for a lot! When I have a day that isn’t magical and amazing, I know another day will be. After a stormy day, self-love is the bright rainbow bringing me hope and comfort. Some days I’m simply proud of the fact that I showed up to be present to my life.

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Occasionally a small, annoying accident— like getting my hair cut “too short” or missing a meeting—turns out to be a happy accident!

S

If I experience a small accident, I’m open to it turning out to be a happy accident. This attitude helps give me a calmer perspective. I rely on grace as an active and supportive force in my life to bring me unexpected blessings—sometimes in the form of small annoyances—every day. Remembering the unexpected blessing of happy accidents keeps me saner when things don’t go as planned.

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 £ 184 ¢ Actively seeking out fun each day is a priority for me.

L

Aligning with my inner queen, king, or monarch is a fun way to spoil myself. I try to act like the benevolent monarch of my own life, treating myself like royalty and granting myself decadent indulgences. I’m worthy of spoiling. It’s fun to pamper myself! What little luxury can I indulge in today?

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£ 185¢ I have healthy ways of entertaining myself when I’m bored, as opposed to just killing time or numbing out.

L

I make mental or physical lists of fun, productive, and healing ways to entertain myself when I’m bored—like working on a creative hobby, organizing and decluttering, or attending an interesting in-person or online workshop. I also brainstorm new ways to switch up my routines—like listening to a great podcast while cleaning the house, or asking a co-worker if we could swap duties, shifts, or projects—to spice things up. Are there any old routines in my life that have become boring and no longer feel entertaining or nourishing?

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¡ 186™ I often give something my all when I feel genuinely thankful for it.

B

When I want to give my all to a work project, relationship, or volunteer role, I think of three reasons I’m thankful for it so I can be more genuine in my efforts. I kick-start my gratitude practice by finding something small to be really, really grateful for, like the pretty soap I love to shower with, the almond butter I spread on a banana for a snack, or the porch where I sit on the weekends and savor my morning pick-meup beverage. Sometimes it’s easiest to feel big gratitude for the smaller things in life.

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¡ 187 ™ I really celebrate my huge wins, because they don’t happen every day.

B If I haven’t had a huge win in a while, I remind myself of a huge win I had at any time in my life—like the birth of a child I love, getting that dream job, buying a house, meeting my best friend, experiencing an amazing trip or concert, healing from an addiction, or recovering from a long illness. I can let those memories fill me with some of the excitement and optimism I felt at the time. When I experience a huge win, let me celebrate with the unbridled joy and abandon of a child.

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´ 188 ´ When I feel guilty, it doesn’t mean I need to punish myself. It just means that I’m having challenging emotions that require my loving attention.

D If there’s something I’ve been feeling guilty about, I ponder what this emotion is asking me to do—get clear on my boundaries with others, forgive myself, start fresh with myself, tell someone I’m sorry or attempt to make amends, learn a lesson, change my behavior, get help for an addiction, or perhaps simply acknowledge the emotion and send myself a little loving, healing energy. I can be my own angel by simply holding a loving, healing space for myself when I experience feelings of guilt.

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´ 189 ´ Having healthy father energy in my life is vital.

D What words define healthy father energy for me? It might be a word like caring, protective, responsible, playful, wise, stable, secure, loving, tender, humorous, safe, compassionate, unconditional, nurturing, steady, supportive, or brave. Who in my life—or in the public eye—embodies these words? Healthy father energy can come from any source, including me.

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# 190 $ When I find myself being harsh with others, it’s a good indication I’m being harsh with myself as well.

X

I can be softer and gentler with myself in my thoughts, knowing this will improve my relationships and the way I treat others too. Treating myself more softly and gently with my actions might look like a ten-minute meditation break with my office door closed, a forty-five-minute soak in the tub with my favorite podcast, twenty minutes of intention-setting with my journal, or a long, lingering meal at my favorite restaurant. The way I treat others can be a mirror of how I treat myself.

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# 191$ Resisting the truth of a situation can be very draining and a waste of energy.

X

Embracing the hard truth can be less draining than resistance. When I have to tell a hard truth to someone else, or my own system sends me a message about a hard truth I need to hear, I cushion that hard truth with love. Accepting or working with the truth, or truths, of a hard situation can be done in a loving way. Telling hard truths to myself and others can be a kindness, especially if it’s done with love.

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When I shift the small things I’m unhappy with in my life, it builds my confidence to work on bigger issues.

S

If I find one small thing I’m unhappy with—like a new shirt that doesn’t fit well or being bored with my usual dinners—I take steps to create something I’m happier with. When the bigger things in my life feel out of my hands, concentrating on managing smaller details gives me back a sense of healthy control. Some days the things I look forward to most are the small things. That makes them big!

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Cleaning a space physically is a wonderful way to also clean the energy of a space.

SS

When I tidy a space—my desk, the kitchen, a closet—I also do a little energy-clearing by concentrating on a loving mantra, like “love rules in this space” or “peace anchors this space.” Staying organized—whether it’s cleaning out my email inbox or organizing the garage— actually gives me more physical energy. When a space drains my energy, I look for ways to clean or organize it.

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When I can’t have exactly what I want, I find a way to have a small piece of it anyway.

B If I can’t get something I really want—like not being able to have date night with my spouse because they are working late, or not being able to take a hike outside because I’m recovering from an injury—I’ll find a way to get a small piece of what I want, or another version of it, anyway. Like taking myself out for a date or listening to nature sounds while I read on the couch. I can’t always have things exactly the way I envision, so I stay open to other versions of what I want.

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I can get so tickled by something funny that I will laugh until I actually start crying. It’s a great feeling!

B How can I laugh more? Maybe by doing my best silly dance around the kitchen, watching a funny video online, or calling a friend and reminding them of one of our old, crazy adventures to make them laugh. Happy tears are my favorite kind.

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£ 196¢ Life is my canvas, and each gentle act of self-love is one more brushstroke in the masterpiece of me.

L

I create gentle ways to show myself love, like stopping to have healthy snacks and drink water during the day, or winding down in the evening with a stretch class, or putting fresh, soft sheets on my bed at night. I’m a student of self-love, and I’m slowly yet surely mastering my craft every day.

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£ 197¢ In some area of my life—my health, finances, work, relationships, self-care, spirituality, service to others—I’m poised for a positive growth spurt.

L

Just like kids experience physical growth spurts, my potential can experience quick, dramatic growth cycles. I can take one small yet meaningful step each day or week in an expanding area of my life to create some momentum for myself. Baby steps in a healthy direction form a clear path of self-love. What baby step can I take in a direction that feels healthy and loving for myself to encourage growth?

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¡ 198 ™ If someone crosses my emotional boundary, I take time to let my emotions cool and then let them know they’ve upset me.

B I express myself with diplomacy and kindness, as the other person might be having a hard time emotionally themselves. If I’m trying to get over my hard feelings about someone, letting myself remember the times they’ve been very good to me helps. I establish healthy patterns of mutual kindness and respect in my relationships with others.

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¡ 199 ™ When I meet certain people, I just get a feeling about them— that they are supposed to be in my life.

B It can be scary to get close to new people, because there is always a chance of getting hurt. Yet letting people in is how I get more of the good stuff. Whenever I have to face something particularly challenging, it helps to know I don’t have to face it alone. Letting special people in gives me folks to lean on in challenging times. I feel that certain people came into my life as blessings to help me through the hard times and help me celebrate the good times.

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´ 200 ´ Whenever I’m stressed, I remind myself that grace is always operating in the background of my life.

D If I’m stressed out, I can think back to times in the past when grace— unexpected blessings or assistance—made the difference in my life. I work with the mantra, “Benevolent grace is operating in my life today,” letting a feeling of peace wash over me. The more I’m aware of grace as an active, supportive force, the more I can harness and align with grace when it shows up in the form of a helpful person, resource, or opportunity. There is a benevolent force of grace operating in my life that defies reason and logic. I don’t have to understand grace, just be open to it.

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´ 201 ´ Life, like nature, is cyclical, and when a new season begins I can feel it in the air—just like I can feel my own new beginnings in the air too.

D The beginning of a new season is always exciting! When a new season begins, I like to immerse myself in activities specific to that season. Walking among the first buds of spring feels like the promise and optimism of a new relationship, new career path, or new creative project. Watching the first snowfall of winter calls to mind the sacred, contemplative beginning of a healing journey. Living green and being a good steward of a planet that mirrors my own inner seasons is an act of self-love. What in my life is changing because I’m ending one cycle and beginning a new one? 203

# 202$ Self-love is like a small, glowing seed growing inside my heart. Every day I am watering and tending it.

X

Self-love is compassionate, forgiving, and optimistic—let me live my life in that nourishing soil. I tend my inner landscape by mindfully embracing radical self-love with my self-talk. When I speak about myself—to others out loud or to myself in my own mind— let it be loving. Creating more quiet space in my mind, and less thoughts in general, gets rid of weeds. My inner landscape is a real place I’m always tending, like a faithful gardener.

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# 203$ Extreme procrastination might be a sign of perfectionism or being overwhelmed.

X

I can ask for help when I find myself procrastinating in an unhealthy way. Taking a gentle, manageable action step if I’ve been procrastinating is an act of self-love. Making slow, steady progress decreases feelings of being overwhelmed. When I desperately want to be “perfect,” I’m really desperately wanting to be loved. I have people, tools, and resources to help me handle or face something I’ve been procrastinating on.

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£ 204¢ What am I waiting for? I need to treat myself more often!

L

Being good to myself is a choice, one I can mindfully make each and every day. I don’t delay being good to myself—whether it’s giving myself a special experience or a special present. Giving myself permission to treat myself—even when I’m disappointed with myself—is the wise action of my loving inner parent. Postponing joy until a goal or milestone is reached is punishing and not for me. What treat from me to me could I give myself soon?

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£ 205¢ Ordinary people are extraordinarily inspiring.

L

I don’t have to look to famous people outside my immediate circle for inspiration. Friends, relatives, neighbors, clients, and co-workers who have healed an addiction, gotten out of debt, survived an illness, started their dream business, earned a degree, become more loving and open-minded, or rebuilt their life after a significant loss are phenomenally inspiring. Looking back on my own life, I have accomplished things that are extraordinarily inspiring!

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¡ 206 ™ Life happens one day at a time. And one day at a time is all life ever asks of me.

B When I find myself thinking too much about the future, I focus more on the next twenty-four hours. I ask myself, “What can I do right now to set myself up for a better tomorrow?” It might be something simple, like doing the dishes before bed so I wake up to a clean kitchen, or it might be something big, like setting up a payment plan to pay off a debt. Pacing myself helps me be more proactive and avoid burnout. I’m often shocked at how much I can accomplish in a day!

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¡ 207 ™ Balance—in my professional and personal lives—is a state I actively cultivate.

B How can I cultivate more balance in my personal life? Do I need to socialize a little more or a little less? Would it feel good to nurture myself more or spend more of my energy nurturing someone I care about? In my professional life, I create balance by pulling back or writing myself an IOU to take an extra day off when I’ve met a pressing deadline. When I’ve been putting off work, I switch gears and practice loving discipline. , Dear selmf y You’re hero.

From: To:

Me

Me

I keep my professional and personal lives in balance by practicing loving kindness with myself, which can look different each day.

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If I don’t take a beat to stop, connect with myself, and figure out what I need, I’m no good to anyone else.

S

A few times a day I stop, take a beat, and check in with myself. When I’m really busy, this self-care practice is more important than ever! Checking in with myself and my needs regularly is how I keep from becoming drained and how I allow myself to enjoy the process of giving. I can check in with my reserves of love by imagining a symbolic cup in my heart. When I imagine looking inside, is it full or nearly empty? Let me take a beat to stop, connect with myself, and figure out if my heart longs to give or receive right now.

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I have some very complex relationships in my life—it’s nice to balance those with relationships that are lighter, easier, and less complex.

S

My relationships with romantic partners, bosses, clients, my parents, my children, my siblings, and very close friends can naturally be complex. It’s nice to remember that not all relationships are so involved and layered. Some relationships can feel quite carefree. Connecting with someone with whom I have a lighter relationship—like a favorite co-worker or a friend who lives far away—can be refreshing! 211

´ 210´ A plant that did poorly in one environment might flourish in astonishing new ways in another environment— my potential is the same.

D How might my potential flourish with a change of soil or repotting? Is there something about my current environment (roles, jobs, relationships, diet, living situation) that is not as supportive to my unique potential as it could be? Let me discover unique practices, people, partnerships, and surroundings to support my unique potential.

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´ 211 ´ When I cannot choose a clear right or wrong option, I pick the best option open before me.

D Whether I’m making a small decision like what to buy at the store for dinner or a big decision like how to handle a loved one who is acting out, I ask myself, “What would love do?” The answer might show me the best option. Love might encourage me to be gentle or to set a tough-love boundary. Love might encourage me to be adventurous or to stick to the well-worn path. The best option open before me is the one most loving to myself and others.

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# 212 $ What works well for me may not work so well for another, and vice versa.

X

I take special notice—in my interactions with loved ones, co-workers, clients, or the world at large—of what life strategies work for me and what works for others. One size does not fit all! I share my techniques for self-care and self-love, as well as adopt and adapt other peoples’ practices, tailoring them to my unique self. My body, mind, and spirit are one of a kind. That makes me precious.

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# 213$ Offering someone my full attention is a true gift.

X

Giving someone my full attention—a child who needs help with their homework, a partner or roommate who needs me to listen as they unpack their day, or someone I interact with at a store who could use my kindness—is often the most meaningful gift I can offer. My presence in this world and in the lives of those around me truly is a gift!

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£ 214¢ To really unwind, I need unscheduled time.

L

Having nothing preplanned or notable on the agenda is sometimes a real blessing. Society can encourage people to stay busy, yet I’m never too busy to be compassionate, especially with myself and my schedule. Life can move so quickly that sometimes I just need to stop, check in, and catch up with myself. Allowing for unscheduled time after, or during, a busy season can be such an act of self-love and self-care.

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£ 215¢ Taking a class in something just for my own curiosity, personal development, or enjoyment engages my scholarly side.

L

Learning something new takes time, but it’s not as complex as it seems. I just study, practice, and have patience with myself. The older I get, the more humble I become—I know so much, yet there is still so much to learn and experience! Do I need to study more, practice more, or just be more patient with myself regarding something I’m learning? Is there a fascinating subject calling my soul to the classroom?

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£ 216¢ Chasing after a dream or goal can feel exhilarating and life-affirming! Other times it can be an unhealthy method of avoiding or running away from myself.

L

When I’m pursuing a dream or a goal, I stay connected to myself and prioritize my own self-care, my mental and emotional health, and my ability to enjoy the present moment. When I’m chasing a big dream, pausing to single out one goal from the past I’ve already arrived at and completed fills me with peace. Self-love is having days where I’m arriving, instead of always striving.

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£ 217¢ It’s fun to have mentors— people who do similar work to mine in the world.

L

I can identify one person I admire who is also a parent, teacher, author, musician, daughter, friend, manager, athlete, entrepreneur, or any other role I play in the world and use this person as my mentor. Whether I know mentors personally or just follow them on social media, their positive influence on me can be life-changing. It’s empowering to have someone to model myself after while still remaining my uniquely fabulous self!

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¡ 218 ™ If I encounter someone I want to change, I remind myself that my true power lies in my ability to change my boundaries with them.

B I’m working on accepting people more as they are. When someone I care about is hurting, it’s not about trying to cheer them up or make them feel differently. It’s simply about letting them know I care. I don’t have to change or manage other people’s emotions, or change or manage other people’s lives, personalities, or issues. Healthy boundaries involve staying in my own emotions and energy and managing my own life.

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¡ 219 ™ Whether I’m working on a health issue, relationship, or financial goal, it’s important for me to stay inspired.

B When I'm inspired, it's easier for me to accomplish things. It might be reading an article about someone who accomplished a similar goal, asking a loving friend for an encouraging pep talk, connecting with my spiritual faith, or recalling a time in the past when I stayed inspired and it paid off. Keeping my inspiration tank full fuels my dreams. I single out one person I admire and one positive character trait of that person— like determination or flexibility—and try to emulate this.

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´ 220 ´ As I navigate transitions in my life, I look to the mountain goat for inspiration, taking my time and taking careful steps to find my footing on a loving path forward.

D If I’m in a transition phase in my life—in my living situation, in a family dynamic, with my body, or with my own inner work—I consider how I can be more like the mountain goat, making slow, sure-footed progress. Transition periods require trying out new techniques, new options, and new routines. I reevaluate every day, remaining flexible, curious, and open. When I find myself in a transition period, I can creatively make up a new normal as I go along.

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´ 221 ´ Noticing a bad habit getting worse could be a sign that I’m stressed, or it may even be a sign that I have an addiction and need help.

D If I find myself biting my fingernails, binge-shopping, obsessively exercising or cleaning, overworking, compulsively checking and rechecking details, or consuming too much alcohol, sugar, or caffeine, I take it as a sign to lower my stress levels, get more emotional support, or perhaps get help for an addiction. Practicing radical self-love as I admit to myself that I’m struggling or feeling out of control is a powerful first step. Bad habits getting worse always signals the need to take that extra bit of time to show myself compassion. At the end of the day, I might be amazed at how little time that took.

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# 222$ Staying up-to-date on world issues and supporting charities close to my heart is self-love in action.

X

I check in with favorite charities via their social media or website to find out how they’re helping with an issue close to my heart. When I can afford to make a donation of my own money, time, or other resources, I do. Giving to others connects me to heart energy, so my reward is the nourishing, lovely feeling that gives me. I like to think that the world is becoming a kinder, more compassionate place—and that I’m doing my part.

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# 223$ When I want to feel more motivated, I get clear on my “why.”

X

If I hit a wall with a goal, I might need to get in touch with or even reevaluate my “why.” Am I pursuing this goal to be of more service to the world, to inspire, to heal, to see what I’m capable of, to create more financial stability, to stretch myself, to have more fun, or to bring more love to myself and others? Knowing the deeper meaning why I’m doing something can help me dig deep to keep pushing, or help me realize that I need to pivot and adjust my goal. My “why” is always more impactful when it involves self-love.

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£ 224¢ Feeling soul weary is a real thing, and it means I require extra-special self-care.

L

If I’ve had a lot of very stressful things happen in a short time frame, or experienced a major loss, or find myself unable to connect to hope or meaning or joy, I realize I may be soul weary and need something or someone to lean on. That could be books or podcasts by experts, caring co-workers, trusted health-care providers, my spiritual faith, or super-supportive loved ones. My soul is magnificent, miraculous, and magical! Nothing will ever alter that. Even my amazing, resilient, and eternal soul experiences seasons when it needs some extra TLC.

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£ 225¢ Grief just requires that I sit with it and make time for the emotions that need to be felt.

L

Whether I’m grieving a recent loss or feeling a pang of grief for a person or place or role that left my life long ago, setting aside even a few minutes to let myself feel is a necessary act of selfconnection. It’s healthy to make time to celebrate, and it’s also healthy to make time for grief. Just like a starfish can regenerate a whole new limb, my heart can heal. There may always be a scar, but in time I will feel whole again. Showing myself love, and making time for myself, is what grief asks of me. Time is a healer. So is love.

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¡ 226 ™ Sometimes an ordinary day can feel like an extraordinary gift.

I have a recipe for my ideal day, and self-love is making sure that on a regular basis I get to whip up something ideal for me. I notice which activities, people, places, and attitudes make me feel delicious! Incorporating at least one ingredient of what makes up an ideal day for me into each day makes each day feel like a gift.

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¡ 227 ™ If I’m doing something outside my comfort zone, it’s okay to feel vulnerable and proceed slowly.

B I challenge myself to try new activities and approaches while also being very gentle with myself through the process. Go big or go home can be an inspiring mantra, or it can be terrifying and emotionally immobilizing. Micro steps outside my comfort zone can lead to macro results! I try to make myself as comfortable as possible when doing something outside my comfort zone.

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# 228$ My important relationships require regular emotional deposits.

X

Emotional deposits are moments when I show up for someone or let them know how much I care. It might be sending flowers to a sick friend, writing my partner a love letter, or cuddling a pet I haven’t had much time for lately. Just like making a deposit in a savings account strengthens my financial health, emotional deposits strengthen my relationships. I can even make emotional deposits from me to me! Is there someone special I could make an emotional deposit with soon?

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# 229$ The tiniest nudge from my intuition can be a loving hint to prepare for the future.

X

Little hints might look like the nudge to take my car in for a tuneup, go get a checkup with my doctor, file my taxes early, put money aside for savings or investments, or let my boss know I’m open to new opportunities at the company. Little nudges from my intuition to take a preparatory and healthy action step are how my sixth sense lovingly checks my blind spots. What tiny nudges have I received from my intuition lately to prepare for the future? My future self will thank me if I take action today.

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# 230$ Sometimes the people who try to take my power away are people I’ve already given my power away to.

D Necessary drama involves battles I have to fight because the outcome has an enormous impact on myself and others. Owning my power in my relationships and roles in society is necessary drama. For my sake, I try to own my power in the least dramatic way possible. Self-love is acknowledging and exercising my own sacred, healing power.

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´ 231 ´ Giving something a little extra effort to cultivate excellence is one of my core principles.

D When I’m feeling fatigue at the end of a long project, soldiering on can be a way to honor my commitment to my own excellence. Taking the time to add that little extra bit of polish or TLC to a project at work, around the house, or at a volunteer job is a sign of self-respect. I try to put a certain amount of TLC into everything I do. Just how much depends on how well I’m feeling and how much I have to offer each day. I’m worthy and lovable no matter what my efforts look like. Giving something a little extra effort to cultivate excellence isn’t about the end result but the journey of self-love on my way there.

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# 232 $ Figuring out the root cause of an annoying habit or self-sabotaging pattern might be the breakthrough I’ve been searching for.

X

I can ponder an annoying habit or self-sabotaging pattern with loving curiosity. When did this habit or pattern start? What might it be trying to show me, trying to protect me from, or trying to manage? I could even journal about this issue or talk it over with a supportive friend or wise counselor. Meeting myself with love, and curiosity, can be enlightening.

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# 233$ I’m always in the pursuit of magic.

I bring more magic into my life by being kind, gentle, forgiving, accepting, and nurturing with myself. Self-love is a magical X factor in my life! It draws magical people and opportunities to me, and helps me notice the magic all around, all the time. I’ll never give up on myself because I’m magic. My world is alive with the electric energy of love and magic.

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M INDEX

Acceptance, 220 accidents, 185 addiction, 223 aging process, 107 anger, 118, 148, 152 anticipatory stress, 67 anxiety, 114, 123 apologizing, 73 attention, giving full, 215 attitude, 163 attractiveness, 14 authenticity, 7, 160

Bad days, 183, 184 bad habits, 223 bad situations, 138 balance, 13, 30, 172, 209 beauty, 32 best friend, being your own, 97 body aging process and, 107 listening to, 101 books, 140 boredom, 187 boundaries, 65, 106, 200, 220

breaks, taking. See downtime breathing, 108 bright side, looking on, 131 burnout, 162 busy, staying, 114

Calm spaces, 177 capability, 176 carefree moments, 134 celebrations, 189 character traits, accepting, 145 charities, 224 children, 20, 147 chillness gurus, 90 choices, 8, 213 cleaning, 195 clothing/getting dressed, 43 coincidences, meaningful, 77 comfort zone, leaving, 93, 142, 229 communication authentic, 7 expressing love, 166 honesty and, 42, 116 comparison, 21 237

compassion, 135 competition, 153 compliments, 175 confidence, 14, 194 consequences, 150 contentment, 86 control, surrendering need for, 10 creativity, 4, 44 critic, inner, 103 criticism, 180 cycles, 203

Dance, 47 daydreams, 69 delays, 126 digital world, 159 disappointment, 117, 118, 122, 196 discipline, 39 diversity, 88 downtime, 104, 154, 161, 164, 174, 192, 216 drama necessary, 232 unnecessary, 100

dreams and goals daydreams and, 69 manifesting, 167 motivation and, 225 pursuing, 218

Eating clean, 99 emotional deposits, 230 emotions being change agent and, 144 crossing boundaries and, 200 expressing, 141 joy, 18 overwhelming, 75 processing, 84, 120 strong, 17 See also individual emotions energy balance and, 30 healthy father, 191 power of, 29 softening, 91 entertainment, 187 excellence, 233 excitement, 119 expectations, 183

Failure, 70, 183 family, 125

father energy, healthy, 191 fear, 113, 182 feedback, positive, 27 fictional characters, 94 finances, 11 flawsomeness, 28 flowers, 105 food, 99 forgiveness, 6 friends, making new, 98 fun, 186

Giving, 136, 172, 224 giving back, 81 goals, dreams and daydreams and, 69 manifesting, 167 motivation and, 225 pursuing, 218 goodbye, saying, 38 gossip, 106 grace, 35, 202 gratitude, 63, 73, 110, 188 238

grief, 227 grounded, staying, 168, 177 growth, being prepared for, 199 guilt, 190

Happiness, pursuit of, 18 happy endings, 132 harshness, 192 Hay, Louise, 1 head and heart, 72 healing, 3, 17, 128, 130, 139, 154 heart energetic, 72, 83 tugs at, 96 heartbreak, mindful, 85 hobbies, 44 honesty, 42, 116, 193 honor, code of, 24, 81 hope, 119 humor, sense of, 13 Ideal day, 228 ideas, 4 imagination, 4 inclusivity, 88 inner experience, 57 inspiration, 171, 207, 221

intentions, 64 intuition, 71, 74, 231

Jealousy, 102, 171 joy, 18

Kindness, 27, 81, 136 Laughter, 13, 197 lazy days, 164 learning, 217 life strategies, differences in, 214 limitations, 40, 54, 78 loss, 63, 227

Magic, 235 manifesting dreams and goals, 167 memories, 181 mentors, 219 mistakes, 23, 28 money, 11 mother, internal, 55 motivation, 225 music, 95 Nature, 41, 149, 151 North Star principles, 109 nutrition, 99

Obstacles, 167

Pauses, 154 pep talks, 93 perspective, 13 phases/moods, 158 positive tone, setting, 110, 115 power, owning, 232 power places, 36 present, being, 15, 16, 60, 66, 151, 181, 184, 208 pride, 50 priorities, 48, 51, 109, 168 procrastination, 205 productivity, 164

rejection, 70 relationships balance in, 211 code of honor and, 24 with others, 12, 26, 38, 53, 80, 81, 85, 116, 118, 133, 137, 159, 166, 192, 200, 201, 215, 220, 230 with self, 12, 25, 37, 57, 76, 93, 97 relaxation, 90, 104, 164, 216. See also downtime resilience, 59, 82 resistance, 167, 193 responsibilities, staying on top of, 173 responsibility to self, 48 rhythm, natural, 33 risk taking, 142, 168, 229 romantic gestures, 19

Quitting, 157

Sacred objects, 179

old wounds, 139 opinions of others, 61 opportunity, 34 optimism, realistic, 119 overgiving, 172

Reading, 140 receiving, 136 recharging, 104 reflection, 115, 210 regret, 6 reinventing self, 124 239

saying no, 7 saying thank you, 73 saying you’re sorry, 73 seasons, 203 self-care, 51, 62, 121, 210 self-improvement, 129 self-inventory, 22

self-knowledge, 52 self-love aura of, 111 availability of, 143 radical, 76 small acts of, 198, 204 unconditional, 46 self-sabotage, 76, 234 service to others, 49, 81 setbacks, 165 simplicity, 45 slowing down, 79, 151 small changes/steps, 169, 194, 199 small moments, 60, 66 social media, 159 softening energy, 91 songs, 9 soul connecting with, 80 nourishment for, 89 soul weariness, 226 stardust, 56 starting over, 87

strength, 146 stress, 67, 202, 223 sunrise and sunset, 161 support network, 2, 3, 68, 128, 131 surroundings changing, 212 cleaning, 195 new, 98 tidying, 92 survival, 59 synchronicities, 77

Talismans, 179 tenderness, 155 thank-yous, 73 theme songs, 9 thought patterns, 5 tidiness, 92 timing, 156 to-do lists, 51, 173 touch, 130 transitions, 31, 222

£ 240

trauma, 128 treating yourself, 206 trees, 149 truth, resisting, 193

Uncertainty, 127 unexpected experiences, 112, 185 uniqueness, 14, 21, 82, 125 Values, 109 vulnerability, 155, 229

Warrior, inner, 58 “why,” getting clear on, 225 wins, celebrating, 189 wisdom, 178 world events, 224 worst-case-scenario thinking, 65

Young things/people, 170, 178

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