Jeppe of the Hill and Other Comedies by Ludvig Holberg [1 ed.] 9780809333745, 9780809333738

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Argetsinger and Rossel

THEATER

www.siupress.com

Argetsinger cvr mech.indd 1

Jeppe of the Hill A ND OTHER COMEDIES BY LUDV IG HOLBERG

southern illinois university press

Printed in the United States of America

These eight comedies comprise the most extensive collection of Ludvig Holberg plays ever offered in the English language. The translators’ general introductions establish a cultural context for the comedies and break new ground in understanding the importance of Holberg’s comic aesthetic. Argetsinger’s extensive experience in theatre and Rossel’s preeminence as a Scandinavian studies scholar assure that the translations are not only accurate but stage-worthy. The collection opens with The Political Tinker, the first Danish play to be produced in the new Danish Theatre. Jean de France, Jeppe of the Hill, and Erasmus Montanus, three more of Holberg’s renowned character comedies, follow, along with his literary satire Ulysses von Ithacia. Two plays demonstrate his ability to write shorter comic works: The Christmas Party, a scathing comedy of manners, and Pernille’s Brief Experience as a Lady, a situation comedy that satirizes the practice of baby-switching. The collection ends with The Burial of Danish Comedy, literally the funeral service for the bankrupt theatre.   Gerald S. Argetsinger, an American playwright, stage director, and theatre academic, is the author of two scholarly volumes and many articles about Ludvig Holberg. His latest book is the coedited Latter-Gay Saints: An Anthology of Gay Mormon Fiction.   Sven H. Rossel has published or coauthored thirty books in the specific areas of Scandinavian balladry, Hans Christian Andersen, and modern Scandinavian literature, in addition to numerous articles and reviews. For his many contributions to Danish studies, Rossel was awarded the distinguished Order of the Knighthood of Dannebrog in 1987 and became a member of the Royal Danish Academy of Sciences and Letters in 1991.   

Jeppe of the Hill A ND OTHER COMEDIES BY

LUDV IG HOLBERG

Translated by Gerald S. Argetsinger and Sven H. Rossel

Southern Illinois University Press

8/18/14 12:30 PM

Jeppe of the Hill and other comedies by Ludvig Holberg

The interior of the Lille Gmnnegade Theatre at the time of Holberg showing a production of Jeppe of the Hill in progress, as conceived by Rasmus Christiansen.-Courtesy of the Teaterhistorisk Museum, The Royal Court Theatre, Copenhagen

Jeppe of the Hill AND OTHER COMEDIES

by Ludvig Holberg Translated from the Danish by GERALD

S.

ARGETSINGER AND

SvEN H. RossEL

SOUTHERN ILLINOIS UNIVERSITY PRESS

Carbondale

Caution: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that these translations of Ludvig Holberg’s comedies, being fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, the British Commonwealth, including the Dominion of Canada, and all other countries of the Berne and Universal Copyright Conventions, are subject to royalty. All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, and radio and television broadcasting, and the rights of translation into foreign languages, are strictly reserved. Particular emphasis is laid on the question of readings. A performance occurs anytime a play is performed in front of an audience whether or not admission is charged. Performance rights to the plays contained in this volume are available from Leicester Bay Theatricals (www.leicesterbaytheatricals.com). Copyright © 1990 by the Board of Trustees, Southern Illinois University All rights reserved Printed in the United States of America 17 16 15 14

4 3 2 1

Cover illustrations: Foreground, production of Jeppe of the Hill at the Lille Grønnegade Theatre, at the time of Holberg, as conceived by Rasmus Christiansen. Courtesy of the Teaterhistorisk Museum, The Royal Court Theatre, Copenhagen. Background, vintage textile design. Doverpictura.com. Cataloging data may be obtained from the Library of Congress. Library of Congress Control Number: 2014944341 ISBN 978-0-8093-3373-8 (paperback) ISBN 0-8093-3373-2 (paperback) ISBN 978-0-8093-3374-5 (ebook) ISBN 0-8093-3374-0 (ebook) The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of American National Standard for Information Sciences—Permanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI Z39.48-1992.

This book is dedicated to

F.

J. BILLESKOV JANSEN

Contents

PREFACE ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

ix ri

HoLBERG AND His TIMES, by Sven H. Rossel

xiii

HOLBERG's CoMIC AESTHETIC, by Gerald S. Argetsinger

xxv

The Political Tinker fean de France; or, Hans Frandsen

I

55

feppe of the Hill; or, The Transformed Peasant

I05

Erasmus Montanus; or, Rasmus Berg

I45

Ulysses von Ithacia; or, A German Comedy

193

The Christmas Party

249

Pernille's Brief Experience as a Lady

273

The Burial of Danish Comedy, with Thalia's Farewell Speech

3I

BIB L I 0 GRAPH Y

325

I

Preface

In selecting plays for this anthology, we established the following parameters: to include a wide variety of the comedies, representing Holberg's best comedies both literarily and theatrically; to include a variety of types of comedy; to include some comedies that have not appeared before in English translation; and to include a variety of play lengths, from the one-act through the five-act forms. We also decided to include only plays written before the closing of the Lille Gmnnegade Theatre, and in fact, open the collection with The Political Tinker, the first Holberg play produced there, and end with The Burial of Danish Comedy, written to close the theatre. An effort was made to not only translate Holberg's words, but to translate his comic spirit. It is our intent to provide translations that will not only be worthy of the literature and theatre classrooms, but that will also be worthy of stage production. Holberg's published plays list only "Major Characters in the Comedy" at the beginning of each play. This practice does not satisfy one of the major functions of the Cast List in modem theatre: to provide a ready reference of casting needs for producers and directors so they can ascertain basic requirements without having to comb through an entire script. Therefore, complete cast lists are provided at the beginning of each comedy. Characters listed in the Billeskov Jansen editions appear first in all capital letters; other characters follow with only the first letter of each name capitalized. Holberg was not rigorous in developing cast lists for the comedies. He did not follow a specific pattern for listing characters, he included short character relationships only occasionally, and he did not note when two characters were to be played by the same actor or when a character was deleted from the final edition of the play. Since there is no consistency in the texts, when matters of clarity were concerned, traditional orders were modified, character relationships were added, and some corrections were made for this edition.

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Acknowledgments

A project of this magnitude is not possible without the unselfish help of many people and organizations. We owe special debts of gratitude to: A. Gerald Anderson, Scandinavian Librarian at Suzzallo Library at the University of Washington, for tracking down details. Dr. Jens Kr. Andersen of the University of Copenhagen for providing invaluable assistance in solving specific translation problems. Gail Argetsinger for rendering all of Holberg's verse into equivalent English verse. Alan Bower, Thisted, Denmark, for valuable editorial assistance. Dr. Terje I. Leiren of the Department of Scandinavian Languages and Literature at the University of Washington for assisting with historical information. Dr. Else Mogensen for carefully reviewing the early manuscripts and providing invaluable corrections and suggestions. The Department of Liberal Arts, the Department of General Education Instruction, and the Division of General Education of the National Technical Institute for the Deaf at the Rochester Institute of Technology for providing Dr. Argetsinger with a sabbatical, minigrants, and technical support. The Committee for Literary Exchange with Foreign Countries at the Danish Ministry of Cultural Affairs and the Danish Ministry of Education for translation and subvention grants. The major Holberg editions utilized were the Samtlige komedier (1984), ed. by F. J. Billeskov Jansen, and the Comoedier og de populane Skrifter (1922-25), ed. by Carl Roos et al.; however other editions were consulted when questions arose. Certainly the most valuable new tool for Holberg scholarship is the recently published Holberg Ordbog, vols. 1-5 (1981-88), ed. by Aage Hansen et al., which was consulted constantly during the course of this project. Much of the information for the introductions and notes for each play was obtained from those same

xi

Acknowledgments editions, as well as from Ludvig Holbergs Komedier (1942), by Hans Brix. A more freely translated "acting edition" of Jean de France was published by the special permission of the translator, Gerald S. Argetsinger, in Our Dramatic Heritage. Vol. 3: The Eighteenth Century, ed. by Philip G. Hill (Cranbury, NJ: Associated Univ. Presses, 1987).

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Holberg and His Times SvEN

H.

RossEL

Upon his return home, England's ambassador to Denmark, Robert Molesworth, published An Account of Denmark, as it was in the year 1692 (1 694). Influenced by his native country's parliamentary system, Molesworth was strongly critical of the Danish absolute monarchy established in r66o. While praising the Danish legal system for its justice and perspicuity, which exceeded all other codes in these respects, Molesworth nevertheless believed that the monarchy suppressed freedom and caused general apathy and mediocrity: "I never knew any Country where the Minds of the people were more of one calibre and pitch than here; you shall meet with none of extraordinary Parts or Qualifications, or excellent in particular Studies and Trades; ... " (p.257). Heavy taxation, Molesworth complained, sustained a large army only for the purpose of emulating France, while stifling both prosperity and initiative. The situation in trade and industry had degenerated greatly, but it was the farmers who suffered the most: "In Zealand they are all as absolute Slaves as the Negro's are in Barba does; but with this difference, that their fare is not so good. Neither they, nor their Posterity, to all Generations, can leave the Land to which they belong; ... " (p. 86). Furthermore, "The Peasant or Boor, as soon as he gets a Rix Dollar, lays it out in Brandy with all haste ... " (p. 84)-an addiction to alcohol that Molesworth saw as a general trait of the Danish population. Of intellectual life, Molesworth offered the following analysis: ... at present, Learning is there at a very low Ebb; yet Latin is more commonly spoken by the Clergy than with us. The Books that come out in print are very few, and those only some dull Treatises of Controversie against the Papists and Calvinists. The Belles Lettres, or Gentile Learning are very much strangers here, and will hardly be introduced till a greater affluence among the gentry makes way for them .... There is but one University, which is at Copenhagen, and that mean enough in all respects; neither

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Holberg and His Times the Building nor Revenues being comparable to those of the worst of our single Colledges. (pp.255-56). Nevertheless, contrary to Moleswoth's claim, the introduction of absolute rule in the Dana-Norwegian dual monarchy in the wake of a major defeat by Sweden in r 658 (which resulted in the loss of the southern Swedish provinces of Skane, Halland, and Blekinge) brought about immense progress in domestic politics, although subsequent series of wars were fought against Sweden during the periods 1675-79 and noo-r720 in vain attempts to regain the lost provinces. The economic and political power of the nobility was broken and the burden of taxation more equally distributed. Not only did the absolute monarchy benefit the middle class economically, it also offered new opportunities for social advancement as the middle class increasingly occupied positions in the country's central administration. Molesworth's criticism, however-particularly of cultural conditions-is not without some validity, especially as it relates to seventeenth century Denmark. As such it best depicts the background for the progress that took place in all areas of Danish society during the eighteenth century. Holberg himself strongly opposed Molesworth in his national history, Dannemarks og Norges Beskrivelse. Here, as elsewhere in his oeuvre, he comes forward as a fervent supporter of the current absolutist system. Indeed, the deficiencies Holberg satirized with such accuracy in his comedies were of a psychological and not of a political nature. This, however, does not preclude the fact that Holberg was a keen observer of the society of which he was a part, more precisely Copenhagen and its citizens-his very audience. To this day, therefore, his writings have remained an inexhaustible source for our understanding of life in the first half of the eighteenth century. It is a period that, like Holberg's own life (r684-1754), spans the reigns of three kings, Frederik IV (r699-1730), Christian VI (173o-46), and Frederik V (1746-66). Frederik IV was primarily occupied with safeguarding Denmark's frontiers. A short, unsuccessful war in 1700 against the duke of Schleswig-Holstein-Gottorp, an ally of Sweden, instigated a reform of the military establishment, and in nor a national militia was established, based on general conscription, but only of young men of the peasant class. This system, upon which Molesworth had harshly but correctly commented, weakened the position of the tenant farmers even further. The landlords were made responsible for procuring the required numbers of conscripts, and all peasants were forbidden to move unless they got permission from the estate

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Holberg and His Times owners. The many new landowners who appeared in the wake of the dethronement of the old aristocracy in 166o were either Germans (who were accustomed to having peasants as serfs) or Danes from the middle class seeking a quick profit through exhaustive exploitation of peasant labor. Although the state of agriculture under King Frederik IV went from bad to worse, Denmark, after the peace treaty of 1679, had vigorously pursued a trade policy that was designed to compensate for the losses of the war. A general reduction of taxation took place in 1788. The medieval guild system was abolished and foreign craftsmen and manufacturers were offered special tax exemptions and the right to import raw materials duty-free in return for establishing new industries in Denmark. New cloth mills, ironworks, and brickworks were started, Copenhagen and Elsinore became staple towns, and the merchant marine was enlarged. The final peace treaty with Sweden in 1720 speeded up the process of reconstruction, including a major effort for advancement of public education, in which the government in the years following 1721 opened 240 elementary schools on Crown property. Here peasant children were taught reading and religion, preparing them to serve their king and country-a clear expression of the absolute monarchy's wish to control the life of its subjects. Until then every provincial town had a so-called Latin school, which provided an extremely poor education and featured lax discipline. Emphasis was placed on the teaching of Greek and Latin, and during vacations, the students could then pursue topics such as mathematics, geography, and physics on their own. Teachers and students had one thing in common: they lived in extreme poverty. This meant that the best-qualified instructors left the schools as soon as better opportunities presented themselves. In this way, education in the provinces was in the hands of totally unskilled instructors or deacons, often students unsuccessful in their university studies, who received an annual salary of six rix-dollars at the most. The only university of the dual monarchy, which was located in Copenhagen, had in fact produced some outstanding scientists during the seventeenth century, such as Niels Steensen, the founder of the science of geology and Ole R111mer, the discoverer of the velocity of light. Nevertheless, the emphasis in education was still placed almost entirely on theological studies-the only field that enabled a young man of peasant stock to climb the social ladder. The learned language still remained Latin, even though the demand for using the vernacular grew increasingly strong throughout the seventeenth century. Thus in 1646 the first Danish grammar was published XV

Holberg and His Times and poets continuously attempted to refine the Danish language. Literature reached a high point in the poetry of Thomas Kingo, the editor of the official hymnbook of the Danish State Church (I699). This work represented the culmination and capstone of the baroque era in Danish letters. A major catastrophe that occurred in the reign of Frederik IV, and which in several ways deeply affected Danish society, was the great fire of Ip8, which destroyed two-fifths of Copenhagen. The government eagerly began the rebuilding of the city in a way that marked the final farewell to its medieval past. The definitive architectural manifestation of the new era was the construction of a splendid baroque castle in conjunction with the accession ofKing Christian VI in 1730. Undoubtedly the fire-seen by many as God's punishment of a sinful city-contributed to a darkening in the population's outlook, and this prepared the way for the ensuing fundamentalist trend and a concomitant demand for greater piety. This influence also became noticeable even in the king's conduct of affairs. Shortly before his death he made church attendance statutory and banned all forms of entertainment and amusement, except theatre performances, on holidays. Indeed, Frederik IV's son, Christian VI, would pursue this policy with even greater vigor. The religious outlook of Christian VI found expression not only in the promotion of this German-inspired pietism, which during his reign became the unofficial state religion of Denmark, but also in the sincere commitment with which he executed his duties as an enlightened monarch. Theatre performances were prohibited on Sundays and holidays, and after 1738 actors and entertainers were not allowed to enter the country. Simultaneously, radical reforms were made in the school system. In I739 general compulsory education was introduced and a great number of the Latin schools, whose curricula dated back to I656, were replaced by so-called Danish schools, where emphasis was put on subjects such as religion, reading, writing, and mathematics. On the other hand, the status quo generally prevailed at the university, though a law degree had been introduced in I 7 36. But the law graduates found no employment. On the other hand, the graduates of Som Academy, established in I 74 7 as an institution for providing the absolute monarchy with young, well-educated administrators and diplomats, were much more successful. At Som the instruction emphasized philosophy, law, and political science, and, as something new, the lectures were public and generally held in Danish. In order to support the foundering agricultural economy, the import of grain was banned I735, followed by an embargo of xvi

Holberg and His Times various industrial products. Sheltered by these protective measun!s, Danish trade and industry blossomed. The government continued to support the establishment of new industries and especially of trading companies, which were to secure Denmark a part in the riches of the newly discovered continents. In 1733 the French West Indian island of St. Croix was acquired. In r 7 36 a Danish fort was built on the African coast of Guinea and the so-called triangle trade began, which took weapons and cotton to Africa, slaves to the plantations in the Danish West Indies (from 1917 the Virgin Islands), and sugar and rum from there back to Copenhagen. As the result of a cautious and adroitly conducted foreign policy, Denmark succeeded in staying out of the :vcal"ious wars4md-.conflict-s-of the period, in particulal" the political tensions between England and France. Christian VI became the first Danish king during whose reign no war was waged. Under his son, Frederik V, this policy of neutrality was continued by the German-hom foreign minister, J. H. E. Bemstorff, who managed to keep Denmark out of the Prussian Seven Year War [!756-63). Foreign trade boomed as never before; thus between 1732 and 1772 the Asiatic Company alone brought back cargo valued at forty million rix-dollars, of which the major part was reexported with profits o£ up to three- or four-hundred percent. In the period 1721-49 the population of Copenhagen grew from seventy-five to one hundred thousand, one-eighth of the entire Danish population. The other cities in the dual monarchy remained rather insignificant with the exception of Holberg's native Bergen, an important trade center, which in r 770 with its fourteen thousand inhabitants was the largest town in Norway. Unlike Christian VI, the new king had neither the ability nor the desire to interfere in the governing of his country. He was greeted by the population with great expectations. His amiable and casual deportment made him a direct contrast to his father. The previous pietist atmosphere at the court was now replaced by festivity and lavish parties, by "a life-loving regimen" as Holberg wrote in a dedication to the new king. Under Frederik V foreign influence reached its culmination. Neither the court nor the army spoke Danish and there was also a large and influential foreign minority, especially Germans, in the central administration as well as in the Copenhagen middle class. In addition, the changing governments made deliberate efforts to channel into Denmark cultural inspiration from abroad. Dutch and German architects dominated the rebuilding of Copenhagen after the fire of 1728. In the complex that today makes up the royal residence, Amalienborg, the French sculptor Jacques Saly created one of Europe's most beautiful equestrian xvii

Holberg and His Times statues. Italians dominated musical life, and in 1751 Bernstorff invited one of the leading preromanticists, the German poet F. G. Klopstock, to Denmark, where he stayed for nineteen years and through his religious writings and unrhymed odes became a major source of inspiration for Dano-Norwegian literatme dming the last part of the century. This cosmopolitan orientation is an important feature of the enlightenment period. Holberg himself was a prototype of its cultural ideal: the extrovert and practical individual who stands in absolute contrast to the orthodox and Bible-oriented person of previous centmies. Already in 1543 Copernicus had claimed that the earth was not, as taught by tl;te Church, the center of the world. Kepler, in 16091 proved this claim scientifically, stating that it was not as commonly believed, a soul, but rather an inanimate natural force, that moved the planets. This theory was confirmed by Newton's discovery of the law of gravity in 1687. This mechanistic way of viewing the universe, which made the concept of the interference of supernatmal powers superfluous, was also extended to humankind's spiritual and physical functions. The origins of state, religion, and ethics were explained in a strictly naturalistic manner as expressions of humankind's need for orderly conditions of existence. God does not intervene in this world, which He once in His supreme goodness created by means of Natural Law. God can be preceived through reason and experience, a concept which resulted in a strong upward reassessment of human reason, coupled with an optimistic belief in humankind's goodness. It is precisely this optimistic view of human nature that forms the basis for Holberg's writings. At the same time, however, he is too great an artist not to recognize humankind's psychological complexity and spiritual insecurity. It is this tension, combined with laughter-sometimes sympathetic, sometimes sarcasticthat turns his comedies into great art. Indeed, as was the case with most citizens of his time, Holberg's life and career were decisively influenced by the various ruling monarchs. His father, Christian Nielsen Holberg, probably of peasant stock, was an officer in Bergen and his mother, Karen Lem, belonged to a distinguished family of clergymen. Holberg was thereby born directly into the middle class of civil servants created by the absolute monarchy. Left an orphan at an early age, he spent his youth with his uncle in Bergen, who was a wealthy merchant. The local Latin school taught him fluency in Latin and gave him an extensive knowledge of the classics. When Bergen was ravaged by fire in 1702 Holberg continued his studies at the University of Copenxviii

Holberg and His Times hagen. After a brief return visit to Norway, he graduated in 1704 with degrees in both philosophy and theology. Holberg was now ready to look for a position as a civil servant. However, as a result of a surplus of bachelors of divinity and the fact that one had to be twenty-five years old to apply for ordination-an idea which filled him with little enthusiasm-Holberg returned to Bergen as a private tutor. Later he set out (with sixty rix-dollars in his pocket) on his first trip abroad, to Holland, a country with which Denmark-Norway had close cultural and commercial ties. Holberg returned toN orway on borrowed money, only to leave for England in 1706, where he spent two and one-half years at Oxford. His stay there inspired him to make his earliest studies of history and political science, and he returned to Copenhagen with a manuscript for a universal history. This was primarily based on a work of r682-86 by the German jurist and historian Samuel Pufendorf and had a similar title. But with his characteristic, acute sense for topics of current interest, Holberg stressed the contemporary era, using German and French gazettes as his primary sources. When his work was published in I7II as Introduction til de fornemste europa?iske Rigers Historier(lntroduction to the history of the principal kingdoms of Europe), Holberg in his preface suggested to the crown prince to whom the volume was dedicated that his book might be of special interest to the future ruler of the monarchy, thus calling royal attention to his first attempt at establishing himself as a scholar. A third trip, in 1708, took Holberg to Saxony. Here, as well as upon his return to Copenhagen, he made his living as a private tutor. However, by now he had made up his mind to settle down in order to qualify himself for an academic career at the university. In 1713 he issued an Anhang (Appendix) to his first book, a brief geography of Germany, England, and Holland. Already in 171 I he had applied to the king for a professorship, and at that time he had also submitted a manuscript describing the reigns of Christian IV and Frederik III (rs88-r6yo), mentioning that he was also working on the period of the present king's father, Christian V (1670-99 ). Holberg was not promised a professorship until 1714, but in recognition of his previous achievements he was awarded a prestigious four-year scholarship. In May 1714, Holberg left for the journey that would become a decisive factor in his development as the eighteenth century's first internationally oriented, cosmopolitan Dana-Norwegian writer. His sojourns in France and Italy were high p9ints of this trip. In Paris he visited the extensive public libraries but probably not the theatres, which were too expensive for him. In Rome, however, he was introduced not only to baroque

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Holberg and His Times architecture but also to Italian masked comedy, the so-called commedia dell'arte. Upon his return to Copenhagen in 1716 Holberg published another unoriginal reference work, Introduction til Naturensog Falke-Rettens Kundskab (Introduction to the science of natural law and the law of nations). Once again Pufendorf served as a model, this time through his fundamental work De jure naturae et gentium (r6p). Like Pufendorf, who in his view of the relationship between individual and society was influenced by the British philosopher Thomas Hobbes, Holberg also stresses the current governmental system as the most favorable for eighteenth-century enlightened humankind. It alone can protect people against the evil and injustice that natural law enables people to apprehend through reason. Of greater interest-and actually a key to Holberg's entire universe-is the preface. Here Holberg evaluates the relevance of the sciences. Of highest rank is moral philosophy, based on natural law and humankind's sole guideline in making ethical decisions. Next highest is medicine. He sharply criticizes the curriculum at the University of Copenhagen for its emphasis on metaphysics and logical exercises, thereby anticipating his satire in the comedy Erasmus Montanus. Ironically, Holberg was offered a professorship in metaphysics in 1717. However, in 1720 another position became vacant in Latin oratory, and for the next ten years he taught Roman literature, a period that coincided with his own breakthrough as a writer. In two Latin satires of 1719 Holberg had polemized against a fellow historian who had criticized his Introduction (17II) for being a piece of plagiarism. As a stylistic model, Holberg had chosen the Roman satirist Juvenal. Juvenal's works, Nicolas Boileau's satirical epic Le Lutrin (The lectern, 167 4-83), Cervantes' Don Quixote (r6os-15), and the classical epics by Homer and Virgil all served as the models for Holberg's first major literary work, the comic epic Feder Faars (1719-20). To be sure, the basis for this burlesque story about the journey of the shopkeeper Peder (i.e., Aeneas/Don Quixote) to his financee Dorothea is a hilarious literary parody, written in alexandrines. In addition, however, one finds in this work characters and situations of genuine originality and comic force that clearly point toward Holberg's later comedies. Feder Faars was written under the pseudonym Hans Mikkelsen, a name Holberg also used when in 1722 he published Fire Skiemte-Digte Med Tvende Fortaler, Samt Zille Hans Dotters Forsvars-Skrift for Qvinde-Ki0nned (Four mocking poems as well as Zille Hans Dotter's defense of womankind). These satires are all based on the same philosophy XX

Holberg and His Times of life as the comedies: life is a madhouse and humanity is ruled by chaos and has deserved both to be pitied and laughed at. Even though God has bestowed upon us the light of reason, we abuse it because of the various passions that control us. Once again the state interfered with Holberg's career when in 1722 he began to write comedies. The initiative came from the French artistic director of the Lille Grrmnegade Theatre, Rene Magnon de Montaigu. He had opened his theatre on r January ry22, with a performance by his French troupe of Moliere's L'Avare (The Miser). The repertoire consisted of French and German plays, but de Montaigu soon encountered financial problems because of small audiences. Therefore he petitioned the king on July I to allow performances in Danish, and immediately a number of young government law officials were ordered to translate. Holberg, who was known as the successful author of Peder Paars, was asked to write directly for the new theatre. On 23 September I722, it opened with L'Avare in Danish, but already its next performance, on 25 September was the premiere of Holberg's Den politi.ske Kandestraber (The Political Tinker). The performances continued with varying success and without obtaining much recognition. Already on 25 February 1727, Holberg's Den danske Comoedies Liigbegicengelse (The Burial of Danish Comedy) was performed. The fire of 1728 put a stop to all entertainment, and with Christian VI's accession in 1730 all theatre performances were virtually banned. Holberg, who had also been heavily involved in the day-to-day management of the theatre, stopped writing comedies altogether. But before the theatre closed he had managed to write twenty-five plays, which he published first in three volumes as Comoedier Sammenskrevne for Den nye oprettede Danske Skue-Plads (Comedies written for the newly founded Danish stage, 1723-25), and later in five volumes as Den Danske Skue-Plads (The Danish stage, 1731). During this intensely creative period Holberg obtained a leave of absence in 1725-26 from the university, officially in order to visit a spa in Germany. Instead he went to Paris to go to the theatres, study in the libraries, and primarily but without luck to have some of his comedies performed there. The first part of his memoirs, published in 1728 (continued in 1737 and 1743) constitutes a similar attempt at self-promotion. Writing in Latin, Holberg wishes to draw Europe's attention to the fact that Denmark can now boast of a modem literature-created by himselfand he summarizes the comedies already published in order to attract translators. In 1730 Holberg was appointed professor of history and now, after the closing of the theatre, he concentrated completely on

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Holberg and His Times his favorite subject. Holberg's critical approach is present everywhere in his historical writings, even though he does not live up to the demands of modern historical criticism. Most important is his ability to distinguish the essential from the unessential and his realization that history must serve a wider didactic purpose. In 1729 Holberg had published a long-planned Dannemarks og Norges Beskrivelse (Description of Denmark and Norway), which in its analyses of national character, economy, trade, and religion forms a well-written counterpart to Edward Chamberlayne's Present State of England (r678-8r), whose composition and journalistic style served Holberg as a model. It is in this work that Holberg strongly rejects Molesworth's criticism of Danish absolutism, and when he published-his major three-volume historical work Dannemarks Riges Historie (The history of the Kingdom of Denmark, I7 32-3 5 ), he let the death of King Frederik III and the introduction of absolute monarchy appear as atriumphant keystone of Danish history. Holberg's fascination with psychological portrayal is a distinctive feature of his description of the kings in his Danish history as well as in the two historical studies, Almindelig Kirke-Historie (General church history, I7 38) and fodiske Historie (Jewish History, 1742). Here, as in all Holberg has written, he points to the natural law as described in his work from I7I6 as the superior ethical standard for human behavior. The two volumes Heltes sammenlignede Historier (Comparative histories of heroes, 1739) and Heltinders sammenlignede Historier (Comparative histories of heroines, 1745) are pure biography. Based on the classical portraits of the Greek historian Plutarch, Holberg juxtaposes historical characters in pairs in order to shed light psychologically on their abilities and dispositions. In 173 r an attempt at reestablishing the theatre failed, and the reign of Christian VI, with its strict pietism, became the target for Holberg's subtle criticism in the years following. His philosophical science-fiction novel, Nicolaii Klimii iter subterraneum (Niels Klim's underground journey, 1741), was written in Latin in yet another attempt at reaching a European audience. To guard himself against government reprisals Holberg employed the well-established genre of the Utopia. Like Swift's Gulliver's Travels (1726), he lets the traveler narrate his experiences. The journey leads to the center of the planet Earth where, in the description of various kingdoms, Holberg makes use of the opportunity to attack intolerance and satirize vanity and other human follies exactly as in his comedies. The novel immediately became a European bestseller and was translated into German, Dutch, French, and English. xxii

Holberg and His Times Holberg's philosophical writing continued with the essay collections Moralske Tanker (Moral thoughts, 17 44) and Epistler (Epistles, 1748-54), where the topics range from the question of God's justice to the defense of his own comedies against the latest developments in the theatre. The chief theme, however, remains the same: a strong advocacy of critical judgment and tolerance. It is an individual's duty constantly to examine accepted views and form his or her own opinions as long as they do not threaten the security of the state. Therefore, both atheists and fanatics are dangerous as they do not fear any retribution. In Holberg's view ideal religious sentiment is best expressed through simple compassion and sensible, practical ethics. One year after the accession of Frederik V in 1746, the theatre reopened and Holberg resumed his playwriting, adding two less significant volumes to The Danish Stage (1753-54). Throughout these years Holberg had pursued his career at the University of Copenhagen. In 1735 he became its president and from 1736 to 17 51 he was its bursar, a duty he discharged with considerable success. Also in his private affairs Holberg displayed great financial talent. He was usually his own publisher and bookseller, and after r 730 he invested his profits in real estate and after 17 40 in landed property on Zealand. In 1747 Holberg, who remained a frugal bachelor all his life, arranged to will his estate to Sam Academy and received in return the title of baron. He had indeed successfully exploited his opportunities under the absolute monarchy. With his writings Holberg raised a backward and provincial Dana-Norwegian literature with an almost nonexisting dramatic tradition to the contemporary European level. He enriched the Danish language and gave it a hitherto-unknown flexibility and expressiveness. Certainly he created with his comedies documents of historical and cultural value, snapshots from everyday life in eighteenth-century Denmark. But these superbly artful comedies display a universality of theme in their depiction of human deficiencies and idiosyncracies, which is balanced by an optimistic belief in the ability of humanity to change for the better.

xxiii

Holberg's Comic Aesthetic GERALD

S.

ARGETSINGER

"A miracle occurred in 1722." 1 So begins Hans Brix in his introduction to the comedies of Ludvig Holberg. And miracle it was; one of those rare circumstances that brought exactly. the right people together at exactly the right time to produce greatness. Rene Magnan de Montaigu had received royal permission to open the first Danish-language theatre in Copenhagen, but there were no Danish-language scripts available for production. He quickly commissioned translations of Moliere, and other popular French comedies. A young university professor who had recently found tremendous success as a satirical poet under the pseudonym Hans Mikkelsen, was also contacted and asked by him to write Danish plays for the theatre on Lille Gmnnegade. Holberg was ready; "his talent was ripe and in its time of greatest productivity."2 In less than eighteen months, from the beginning of I7 22 through May I 723, Holberg wrote the fifteen comedies that comprise the foundation for the entire Danish theatre. He was to write twelve more comedies by the time theatres were closed by royal decree in 1728. Holberg then turned his attention to other literary forms until the theatre was reopened in 1747. As a consultant to the newly formed Royal Danish Theatre, he wrote six more plays between 1750 and 1753, bringing his lifetime total to thirty-three comedies. The firstr printed versions of the plays appeared in three volumes of Comoedier by Hans Mikkelsen from 1723-25. And in 1731 his (almost) complete dramatic works were published in five volumes, Den Danske Skue-Plads, for the first time under his own name. Remarkably, from that time until the present, the plays have never gone out of print, and they have been continuously in production in theatres throughout Scandinavia and Northern Europe. Modem descriptions of Ludvig Holberg's works and intent have been at variance with each other, ranging from "middle-ofthe-road; more the observer than the reformer" 3 to "radical"4 and" a poetic warrior. " 5 Mitchell, in fact, rejects Holberg's comedies as the basis for an assessment or reassessment of his work XXV

Holberg's Comic Aesthetic because they do not "seem to have been the result of an organic literary development, but rather an accommodation by a gifted mind who-also-could dramatize. " 6 Even though admitting that the comedies are his most popular works, that omission seems capricious at best. Holberg began his satirical writings in 1719, thiee years before the opening of the Lille Gmnnegade Theatre. Many of his epistles justify the comedies, and no sooner had the Danish theatre closed, but Holberg traveled to Paris with the specific intent of interesting the French in producing his plays. When the dramatic form was no longer available to him, he often turned to other forms of satire to air his views. Mitchell concludes that "Holberg's basic convictions tend to be constant . . • that his persuasion corresponds to the predominant secular philosophy of the day in Western Europe, and that his criticism of the status quo is subtle, fum, but at the same time whimsical." 7 Bredsdorff also omits discussing the plays in his book, but for very different reasons; because "Holberg was the author of comedies that are not equaled in Danish either before or after him. Neither did he, in his many, many pages in other gemes, write anything that overshadows the comedies.'' 8 He recognizes that, although Holberg did, the rest of Denmark did not espouse the predominant European secular philosophy of the day. He goes on to examine how Holberg was radically ahead of his time in his views on the Enlightenment, on the relationship between men and women, in his theories of education for university students, and in his ability to appear to take the middle road in order craftily to avoid censorship. One thing both camps seem to agree on, though, is Holberg's ability to examine an issue from its extremes and to synthesize each side clearly and accurately.lt is that ability that precipitated Holberg's unique contribution to European letters: he had become a cosmopolitan European who chose to live in traditionbound Denmark, as opposed to his various predecessors who became expatriates, attempting to bong the Enlightenment to Scandinavia thiough the philosophy of Pufendorf and Hobbes. Holberg's views were radical, but his approach to teaching them was not. Instead, Holberg always chose to be reasonable; he knew what he wanted and he constantly worked toward his goals, but he was reasonable in his methodology. Holberg's colleagues at the university were unequivocably opposed to change. To them any change was revolutionary; so what may seem to be the middle-of-the-road through the safe perspective of the twentieth century, was radical in Holberg's time and place. The skills of observation and commentary that were at the xxvi

Holberg's Comic Aesthetic heart of Holberg's approach outside of the dramatic form also lie at the heart of his success within the comedies. Even though he had never written a play, his earliest comedies demonstrate that Holberg did not start to write until he had examined current theatre traditions and conventions and had made up his own mind about the approach he would take in writing for the stage. It is well known that Holberg's favorite playwrights were Plautus and Moliere. Probably because Rene Magnon de Montaigu, the leader of the new Danish theatre, was likely trained by Moliere himself, Holberg's model was Moliere. Even though he rejected the content of Moliere plays for his audience, Holberg's comedies "look like" Moliere's, in that they are written in French scenes (major character entrances and exits are denoted by scene divisions instead of by noting entrances and exits as stage directions), they draw heavily upon the commedia dell'arte, and they generally follow the unities of time, place, and action. Several of Holberg's greatest comedies can also best be categorized as character comedies, the same as Moliere's can be. But Holberg does not imitate; he consciously selects that which he found useful and discards that which he did not consider appropriate. 9 The literary sources of Holberg's comedies have been well documented. 10 Holberg knew the classics and he had specific examples of contemporary live theatre before him: he had witnessed commedia dell'arte in Italy and Restoration comedy in England; he saw the freewheeling, pre-Sturm and Drang German comedies in the marketplace and French neoclassic tragedies and comedies in the theatres of the European aristocracy. But at this point, Holberg's ability to observe, his ability to examine an issue from its extreme sides and his ability to be reasonable, did something innovative: Holberg defined a new comic aesthetic. This aesthetic is clearly in the middle of a continuum between the extremes of his contemporary dramatic traditions. But the result was not a diluted, middle-of-the-road situation comedy created out of the fear of offending anyone at either extreme. It was a new form of comedy: a reasonable comedy, which was revolutionary in its rejection of pedantic rules, its appeal to the middle class, and its utilization of everyday people as main characters. The resulting character comedies are well known. When one thinks of Holberg, one first thinks of Jeppe, Erasmus Montanus, and Jean de France. But Holberg also wrote two literary satires, Melampe and Ulysses von Ithacia, which clearly delineate the boundaries of his Danish comedy; the one lampooning the confining rules of French neoclassicism and the other parodying the total lack of rules of the German comedies. In Melampe, Holberg xxvii

Holberg's Comic Aesthetic attacks the elite theatre of European aristocracy and all of the basic qualities of neoclassicism (except for the unities, which he tended to follow). A feud has developed between two aristocratic, Italian sisters and their households. Melampe, a lap dog, was inherited by the one, but later kidnapped by the other. As the squabbling becomes bitter, a cat is taken hostage, an uncle is accused of spying, best friends stop talking to each other, and the dead father returns from the grave to beg the sisters to resolve their differences. Finally, their brother returns to the estate, and in a deus ex machina finale, ends the feud by cutting the dog in half and awarding each sister with an equal portion. The nobles all speak in alexandrines while the servants speak in standard prose.-Holbc::rg continuallydecl"iesthe trivial-natureo£the action, while his aristocratic characters bemoan their great tragedy, always comparing their plight to characters in Greek tragedies. It is nothing less than tragicomedy, though, as the dividing of the dog does end the feud and reunite the sisters and their households. On the other extreme, Holberg's Ulysses von Ithacia satirizes the popular German comedies by creating a world with no rules, and produces his most complex use of satire (see the introduction to Ulysses von Ithacia). The remainder of Holberg's comedies exemplify his own aesthetic: using rules when they helped, but not being pedantically bound to them when they hindered. Holberg's plays demonstrate his ability to create a viable body of comedies that are clearly based on an "inner philosophy" for both form and content, an ars poetica. Holberg never wrote his complete "Theory of Comedy." This omission in the Holberg canon is strange because of the volume he wrote on virtually every aspect of his life (his thirty-three comedies make up only about one-fifth of his collected works); he seemingly never had an unexpressed thought. In addition to the scripts, Holberg left behind, mostly in the form of Epistles, portions of literary philosophy directed primarily at answering specific charges levied against his Danish comedies. From these, coupled with the playscripts themselves, a rather complete "Holbergian Comic Aesthetic" can be constructed. And so, in the spirit of Holberg, here is the newly created "Lost Epistle."ll On Writing Comedies On several previous occasions I have taken pen in hand to critique modem drama and to comment upon those who prefer these French and English plays to our own Danish comedies. Because of m'lord's renewed criticism, it seems that, against my will, I must return to the subject in order xxviii

Holberg's Comic Aesthetic to describe more clearly the nature of true comedy. M'lord gives preference to modern comedies, but without any good reason. As I have clearly demonstrated before, journalists seek to criticize merely because they have heard a work generally praised. Nothing generates the damnation of critics more quickly than popular success (Epistle II2). The models for my own and any other comedies are the plays by Plautus and Moliere, for they contain the spirit, the gaiety which is the soul of comedy and which animates the stage. Their comedies contain protasis, epitasis, and catastrophe, without which there can be no comedy. The modem plays are nothing more than clever conversations or excuses for elaborate stage settings and machineries that satisfy an unnatural taste, but lose all resemblance to true comedy. Moliere and Plautus knew the rules of the Ancients and applied them to create coherent comedies enjoyable to an audience with a natural taste. They relied upon the unities of time, place, and action to establish the appearance of truth. While most of our Danish comedies adhere to these rules, we have been criticized for failing to follow them blindly. But these academic critics censure the very soul of comedy. It is usually necessary to follow the rules. But a good writer of comedy must not make himself such a slave of rules that he rejects a capital story of the most fitting subject for a drama. Many plays that follow the rules do not deserve to be called dramas. Academic critics should be less concerned with rules and more concerned with end results (Epistle 66). But, as my own satire of the formless German comedies, Ulysses von Ithacia, so clearly demonstrates, the rules cannot be totally abandoned nor disregarded. Not only are the unities of place and action destroyed along with the tales of Homer and Virgil, the unity of time is also shattered. It is ludicrous to see one, five, or even ten years pass between scenes when the characters never leave the stage; it is ridiculous to expect an audience member to accept one scene in Troy, another in Ithaca, and yet another in Finland. So the rules must be judiciously applied. But such judgments cannot be passed by one who merely reads the scripts. Only he who has studied the theatre and felt by experience the effect of a comedy from the stage can pass judgment on a play (Epistle 190). Academic study can only pass judgment on style, moral content, and adherence to academic rules. Many a drama that seems to be insignificant when read can be extremely effec-

xxix

Holberg's Comic Aesthetic tive on stage. A drama's importance and validity is therefore not to be measured by the criticism of learned journalists but by the applause of the spectators, and when I say spectators I mean only those who have a natural and undepraved taste (Epistle 190). Character delineation is of the utmost importance for the success of a comedy. Moliere's character comedies displaying men's foibles with the intent of helping them to better themselves epitomize the philosophy of Nature and Man. Moliere, with his rational thinking, has done more to better the world with his comedies than all of the serious prattlings of all the world's old philosophers. But several of Moliere's comedies are absurd for the average audience member. My Danish comedies are more for the eye than for the ear. For example, Le misanthrope, Moliere's masterpiece, is just a beautiful and clever conversation that lacks both the festive spirit and situation that compels the audience to laughter (Illustreret dansk Litteraturhistorie, vol. 2, Petersen and Andersen, p. 62). In the best comedies, the foibles of the central character must assume the force of monomania; while the sole purpose of the plot is to exhibit various aspects of the slavery of the character to that single, dominating characteristic (The Comedies of Holberg, Campbell, p. 252). The English dramas of Farquhar and especially of Jonson successfully delineate characters that castigate and amuse at the same tirne, and censure not one, but all faults, not those of one country, but of all mankind (Mindre Poetiske Skrifter, tr. by Campbell in, The Comedies of Holberg, pp. 250-51). These characters must have a natural and unaffected speech. One of m'lord's primary judgments against our Danish comedies is that they are not written in the elevated language of poetry. But there is nothing more offensive than to hear commonplace everyday speech in cadence and rhyme (Epistle 211). Plautus was successful in this because his language had different kinds of poetry including the iambic, which was closest to prose and which was used in his comedies. We use only one form of poetry in dramas. In Melampe, I showed clearly the ludicrous results when commonplace language is so elevated. Melampe also demonstrates the pure affectation of tragedy with its unnatural speech, stories about noblemen, and tragic endings. These are all rejected by the middle-class audience of the northern countries, which has not been spoiled by m'lord's

XXX

Holberg's Comic Aesthetic arbitrary system of rules, rules which result in your unnatural and depraved taste. To be acceptable, characters must be drawn from the people around us. People of the middle class whose taste has not been depraved, find greatest pleasure in those plays that criticize the country's manners and morals. I infer that their taste is better and more natural than the modern French and aristocratic taste (Epistle 190). It is not enough, however, merely for the speech to be in prose. It is equally objectionable to affect the English use of extreme metaphor. The English plays are full of difficult and pompous expressions that one does not comprehend at first glance; and other nations find their comparisons- repulsive. For example, instead of saying, "She hates him like death," the English express themselves thus: "She hates him worse than a Quaker hates a parrot or than a fishmonger hates a hard frost." The English plays are full of these metaphors, but other nations find such grandiloquence loathsome (Epistle 241 ). Situations and dialogue should be created that reflect society. Dialogue should be completely natural even for the most grotesque characters. The final result of the delineation, situation, and dialogue is the creation of a recognizable character from life, who, through the exaggeration of his foibles, manners, and morals elicits laughter, recognition, and instruction. By following these natural principles, comedies are created that do not appeal to the eye alone, as do the modern French comedies; nor do they appeal to the unnatural, depraved taste of those who prefer style and ornate conversation. I speak against those who would force their taste upon others and move others to admire things that are based upon passing fashions and for which no natural reasons are given or can be given. The comedies that adhere to these principles can be called orthodox, since they demand order and rules, utility intermingled with pleasure. These comedies contain a coherent plot, without the complications of love and courtship, which confuse the spectators, such as the modern English and French comedies (Epistle 44 I). Furthermore they have a beginning, a middle, and an end. And finally, they contain the spirit of gaiety, which is the very soul of comedy. It is clear that Holberg knew his audience. The aspects of both French and English comedy playwrights that he rejected were the direct result of their writing for those aristocratic audiences

xxxi

Holberg's Comic Aesthetic in their court-supported theatres. But Holberg's audience was middle-class, the newspaper-reading public. This audience did not care for the affectations of the aristocrats and so did not support plays in the public theatre that were written for aristocrats. But Holberg's audience greeted his Danish comedies with enthusiasm and applause both on the stage and in printed form. Ludvig Holberg's daring use of the "Rules" tempered with artistic discretion produced an unusual wedding of French neoclassicism, German freedom, and English characterization. This resulted in a surprising realism more than a century before realism became a significant movement in European drama. His real people in real situations, heightened by comic exaggeration directly influenced Gotthold Ephraim Lessing in his break from neoclassic rules. Lessing admired Holberg and adapted four of his comedies in German. In the nineteenth century, Holberg's comedies influenced Henrik Ibsen, who wrote that they were the only thing he never tired of reading. Holberg's rejection of the arbitrary rules of neoclassicism provided a spirit, motivation, and pattern for Ibsen's artistic rejection of the arbitrary rules and pedantry of romanticism. This allowed Ibsen to create a realistic dramatic form that became the major influence on twentiethcentury European and American drama. 12

NOTES 1. Hans Brix, Ludvig Holbergs Komedier (Copenhagen: Gyldendal, 1942), p. 29. 2. Ibid., p. 29. 3· P. M. Mitchell, "Holberg on the Via Media," Scandinavian Studies 56, no. 4 (1986), pp. 313-25. 4- Thomas Bredsdorff, Den radikale Holberg (Copenhagen: Rosinante, 1984), pp. 8-9. 5. Jens Kruuse, En poetisk kriger: Ludvig Holberg (Copenhagen: Berlingske Forlag, 1968), titlepage. 6. Mitchell, p. 3I4. 7· Ibid., pp. 324-25. 8. Bredsdorff, p. 8. 9· For a more complete analysis of the dramaturgy of the comedies, see GeraldS. Argetsinger, Ludvig Holberg's Comedies (Carbondale: Southern Illinois Univ. Press, I983). Io. For a more complete analysis of the literary sources for the comedies, see Oscar J. Campbell, Jr., The Comedies of Holberg (I9I4; rpt., New York: Benjamin Blom, I968). I I. Specific quotes from the Epistles are generally taken from

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Holberg's Comic Aesthetic P.M. Mitchell, tr., Selected Essays of Ludvig Holberg (1955; rpt., Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1976). 12. These concepts were developed through a series of papers, and their pursuant discussions, presented by the author at conferences of the American Society for Aesthetics and the Society for the Advancement of Scandinavian Study.

xxxiii

The Political Tinker A COMEDY IN FIVE ACTS BY LUDVIG HOLBERG

W

HEN the Lille Gronnegade Theatre first opened with a translation of Moliere's L'Avare, Ludvig Holberg had already written and delivered five original, fulllength Danish comedies to Rene Magnan de Montaigu. The first Holberg play, Den politiske Kandst0ber was presented the following Friday, 25 September 1722, and became an immediate success, providing the audience with laughter from beginning to end. By the end of the eighteenth century it was the most popular play in northern Europe, appearing both on the stage and in published versions in such languages as High and Low German, French, and Dutch. The Political Tinker was also most likely the first comedy written by Holberg. His genius is evidenced by his bursting onto the scene an almost fully developed playwright, complete with the ability to dramatize, characterize, and with an aesthetic that would guide his dramatic writings during his entire theatrical career. As he did in his comic epic Feder Paars, which contains the seeds for the Political College where newspapers are read aloud and current events discussed in an inn, Holberg wisely placed his satire in a removed, "safe, 11 location. In this case, he was able to utilize a well-known nearby political conflict to his own advantage. During the early eighteenth century, the free German city of Hamburg had been the scene of serious strife between the city government and its citizens. This lasted until r 7 r 2, when the city council finally won and ended the confron tation. Holberg had visited Hamburg both in 1709 and again in nr6, so he knew the situation well from his own observations. But he evidently did not know any of the possible sources that could have served him literarily, such as Berthold Feind's Das verwirrteHaus Jacob (1703) or The Tatler, Nos. 155, r6o and I78 (London, 1709-rr), where Richard Steele creates a saddlemaker who neglects his family and business to discuss politics. In spite of the play's immediate popularity, Holberg rewrote parts of it on at least two occasions. In the second printed edition of the play (1724) the location for Act II was changed from an alehouse or inn to Herman von Bremen's home. This change was justified in an open letter to Joachim Richard Paulli, as "improving the form of the play by more closely following the unity of place. 11 In fact, the changes did not improve the script and were most certainly dictated by the fact that the Lille Gronnegade Theatre owned only three backdrops: an interior scene, a street scene, and a country scene. These alterations forced some textual changes, such as the Tinker's friend Pieter's being transformed into his servant/apprentice Henrich, who also re-

3

The Political Tinker ceived most of the lines originally written for the Innkeeper. Later (probably 1726) a new scene (Act III, Sc. 5) was written between Herman and Henrich. But Holberg was never thorough in his rewrites, which explains some of the contradictions now found in Henrich's character, as well as the reason for Geske's behaving as though she is somewhere other than her own home when confronting the Political College. The Political Tinker provided some of the translators' most interesting challenges. For example, Americans are not nearly as rank conscious as the characters depicted in Holberg's plays. A working vocabulary simply does not exist that accurately conveys the levels of proper titles and address. Next, Herman von Bremen is, in fact, a pewterer. He is a bad pewterer, ergo a tinker. But "pewterer" is very difficult to say while "tinker" is easy and has been established through earlier translations. Throughout the play he is referred to as Mester Herman. A direct translation, "Master Herman," makes him sound like a little boy; he cannot be a "Master Tinker," since tinker is a derogatory descriptor; and "Master Pewterer," the proper English form, is unwieldy. We finally compromised by calling him Master Pewterer Herman the first time he is named, and then by simply going with "Mister." His craft is that of a pewterer, but when he is professionally insulted he is a tinker.

4

Characters in the Comedy

HERMAN VON BREMEN GESKE, his Wife ENGELKE, his Daughter ANTONIUS, her Suitor HENRICH, Servant ANNEKE, Maid Innkeeper

Abrahams

Richard Brushmaker

Sanderus

Gert Furrier

Christopher

Sivert Customsnooper

Jochum

Frantz Knifesmith

Madame Abrahams

Arianke Blacksmith

Madame Sanderus

Peiter Various Others Two Lawyers, Councilman's Wife, Two Citizens, Two Lackeys, Two Boys, A Girl, A Man, and A Hag

5

The Political Tinker BY LUDVIG HOLBERG

ACT I Scene r ANTONIUS: [Alone.] I swear that my heart's sitting in my throat; for I must talk to Master Pewterer Herman and ask for the hand of his daughter, to whom I've long been engaged, but secretly. This is the third time I've started on my way, but gone back again. If it wasn't for the shame and for the tongue-lashing I'd get from my mother, it'd be the same this time. It's a natural weakness and timidity that's not easily overcome; every time I try to knock on the door, it's as though someone's holding back my hand. But the first stroke, Antonius, is half the battle; it's no good, you've got to do it. I'd better primp a little first; for people say that Mister Herman is very pretentious lately. [He takes off his cravat and reties it, takes out a comb and combs his hair, and buffs his shoes.] Well, now I think I'm acceptable; now I have to knock. But see! So sure as I'm honest; isn't it just like somebody's holding back my hand! Show courage, Antonius! I know you haven't done anything wrong. The worst I can get is a no. [He knocks.]

Scene 2 Henrich -Antonius HENRICH: [Eating a sandwich.] At your service, Mister Antonius! Who would you like to talk to? ANTONIUS: I'd like to talk to Mister Herman if he's alone. HENRICH: Yes, he's alone all right, but he's sitting and reading. ANTONIUS: Then he's more God-fearing than I am. HENRICH: If an ordinance came out declaring that novel,

6

ACT I, Scene

2

Herculus, 1 to be a book of sermons, then I think he'd be able to preach anytime. ANTONIUS: But, considering his work, does he have the time to read such books? HENRICH: Remember that the master has two occupations: he is both a pewterer and a politician. ANTONIUS: Those have very little in common. HENRICH: We've noticed that same thing; for when he does some work, which seldom happens, it looks so political that we have to cast it all over again. But if you want to talk to him, you can just walk right into the living room. ANTONIUS: I'm here on important business, Henrich; for just between us, I'm here to request the hand of his daughter, to whom I've been engaged for so long. HENRICH: True, that certainly is important business! But listen, Mister Antonius, please don't get mad if I warn you about something: if you expect your proposal to succeed, you must choose your words carefully and use affected language; for he becomes so damned pretentious sometimes. ANTONIUS: No, I won't do that, Henrich; I'm a good, honest craftsman who hasn't learned any flattery. I'll say it right out, "I'm in love with your daughter, and want her for my wife." HENRICH: And nothing more? Then I'll bet my neck you won't get her. At the very least, when you begin to speak, you must use the words "whereas" or "inasmuch as." Mind you, Mister Antonius, that you have to deal with a scholarly man who reads political books day and night until he becomes quite mad. The most he's had to say lately about the people here in the house is that we all have such a base manner-especially me, whom he never names without calling me a lecherous, dirty scoundrel. The other week he absolutely insisted that the Missus should wear a Watteau gown; but he didn't get anywhere with it because the Missus is a God-fearing, old-fashioned wife who would rather die than put aside her tailed, Basque dress. 2 He's I. Herkules und Valiska (r6s96o): a political novel written by the German theologian Andreas Heinrich Buchholz (r6oy-yr). Herkuliskus und Herkuladisla (r66s) in Act I, Sc. 4, was another novel by Buchholz. 2. Watteau gown (after the French painter Antoine Watteau)

became popular in the early rpos. It featured a back that flowed free

from the shoulders, training behind. The Basque dress featured peplum, cut in a half circle to hang over the hips and around the back. It was considered an old-fashioned, plain dress.

7

The Political Tinker already got his plans laid about something, whatever that might bei so if you want your proposal to succeed, you'd better take my advice. ANTONIUS: I most certainly will not go roundabout, but will go straight to the point. Scene 3 HENRICH: [Alone.] The most difficult part of proposing is to figure out the right way to begin speakingi I decided to propose once myself, but after fourteen days I still couldn't figure out what to say! I knew well enough that I should begin my speech with either "whereas" or "inasmuch as" i the trouble was that I couldn't figure out the other words to stick on to that "whereas." I didn't feel like troubling myself any longer with it, so I went and bought a speech from Jacob Schoolmaster for eight pennies, for he sells speeches for that. But it went like hell for me. When I got right in the middle of my speech I couldn't remember the rest, and I was too ashamed to take the paper out of my pocket. I could recite that speech both before and after as perfectly as the Lord's Prayer, but when I tried to use it for real, the words stuck in my throat. It went like this: "After official greetings and salutations-!, Henrich Andersen, am come hither with the purpose, intent, and resolve to inform thee that I am no more without feelings than othersi and whereas as all things in the world find within themselves love, including dumb beasts, even I with God and propriety, am come hither unworthily to desire and ask thee to be my heart's truest love." If someone will give me back my eight pennies, I'll hand it over. It's honestly worth the moneyi for I believe that whoever speaks in this manner can get any respectable man's daughter that he wants. But here comes the master, I have to run! Scene 4 Herman von Bremen -Antonius HERMAN: I thank you for your good offer, Monsieur Antoniusi you are a decent and respectable fellow, and I do believe my daughter would be well-off with you. But I want a son-in-law who has studied his politics. ANTONIUS: But my dear Monsieur Herman von Bremen, that won't feed a wife and family. HERMAN: It won't? Do you think that I intend to die a pewterer? You'll see, before half a year has passed. I hope,

8

ACT I, Scene 4 that when I've read The European Herald all the way through, I'll be prevailed upon to fill a position on the Council. I already know The Political Dessert like the back of my hand; but it isn't good enough. Shame on the author, he should have made it somewhat more copious. You know that book, don't you? 3 ANTONIUS: No, I don't. HERMAN: Then I'll lend you mine, it's as good as it is short; I've learned all of my politics from that book, together with Hercules and Herculiscus. ANTONIUS: Isn't that last book just a novel? HERMAN: Yes, that's true enough; I wish the world were full of such novels. I was in a certain place the other day where a distinguished man whispered in my ear, "He who has read that book with understanding, can manage the greatest appointment, yes, rule an entire country." ANTONIUS: But, sir, if I have to pursue my reading, I neglect my craft. HERMAN: I tell you, Monsieur, I don't expect to be a pewterer for long, I should have given it up long ago; for hundreds of respectable men here in town have said to me, "Herman von Bremen, you should be something else!" It was no more than just the other day that a burgomaster 4 dropped these words in the Council, "Herman von Bremen could certainly be something more than a pewterer; that man possesses what many of us on the Council must look for." From which you can conclude that I won't die a pewterer. Therefore I want a son-in-law who applies himself to affairs of state, as it is my wish that in time, he and I can both be members of the Council. If you begin with The Political Dessert, I'll test you every Saturday evening to see how you're progressing. ANTONIUS: No, I certainly won't do that; I'm too damned old to start all over in school again. 3· Der Europiiische Herold

play. It was essentially a republic, governed by a senate, called the Council, with twenty-four councilmen. There was also a trade council, representing the inhabitants with "citizen's rights," that is, who were land owners. Four leaders from this council, called burgomasters, made up the highest level of city government, with one of them selected as head or chief burgomaster.

(r688; 2nd ed. 1705) by Fr. L. von

Franckenberg, pseudonym for Bernhard von Zech (1649-1720), and Der politische Nachtisch (2nd ed. r69o) were two German political science books; the first was very academic while the second was much like a popular "conversational lexicon." 4· Holberg uses the contemporary Hamburg city government as his model in this

9

The Political Tinker HERMAN: Well, then you're not qualified to be my son-inlaw. Adieu! Scene 5 Geske von Bremen -Antonius GESKE: It's terrible about my husband, he's never home taking care of his business; I'd give something good to find out where he goes. But look! It's Monsieur Antonius! Are you out here alone? Won't you come in? ANTONIUS: No thank you, Madam, I'm not good enough to do that. GESKE: What kind of talk is that? ANTONIUS: Your husband has gotten political fancies into his head and is going around with a burgomaster growing in his belly. He looks down his nose at craftsmen, like me and my kind; he thinks he's wiser than the Notarius Politicus 5 himself. GESKE: That fool! That idiot! Will you listen to him? I believe he'll sooner be a beggar begging for his bread than a burgomaster. Dear Antonius, you mustn't listen to him, and don't lose the affection that you have for my daughter. ANTONIUS: Von Bremen swears that she'll marry no man other than a politician. GESKE: I'd sooner wring her neck than let her marry a politician. In the old days, you know, a rogue was called a politician. ANTONIUS: Well I don't intend to become one, either; I'll continue to earn an honest living as a wheelwright. It provided my blessed father with his daily bread and I hope it will also feed me. But here comes a boy who clearly wants to talk to you. [A BoY enters.] GESKE: What is it, my child? BoY: I'd like to speak to Mister Herman. GESKE: He isn't home. Can you give me the message? BoY: My missus wants to know if that dish she ordered three weeks ago is ready; we've inquired about it a dozen times, but he keeps putting us off with talk. GESKE: Ask your missus not to be angry, my son, it will be ready first thing in the morning. [Exits.] SECOND BoY: [Enters.] I'm supposed to find out once and for all, if those plates can be finished. They could have been

s. Notarius Politicus: comic variation of Notarius Publicus, "notary public." IO

ACT I, Scene 6 made and worn out since we ordered them. The missus swears that you won't get another order from us too soon. GESKE: Listen my dear child, when you order something in the future, order it from me. Sometimes my husband has pigs in his forest, so it doesn't do any good to talk to him about it. Take my word for it when I tell you it will be ready by Saturday. Adieu! [SECOND BoY exits.] You can see, my dear Antonius, how things are going in our house! We're losing one job after another because of my husband's neglect. ANTONIUS: Isn't he ever home? GESKE: Seldom; and when he is home he's building castles in the air, so he never thinks about doing his work. I as-k nothing from him, other than that he supervise the workers; for when he does do something, his assistants have to do it over again. Here comes Hemich, he'll back up everything I've said. Scene 6 Henrich - Geske -Antonius HENRICH: The man is here, Missus, to get paid for the eight barrels of coal we received yesterday. GESKE: Where am I going to get the money? He'll have to wait until my husband comes home. Can't you tell me where my husband goes during the day? HENRICH: If Missus will keep it quiet, I'll tell her. GESKE: I swear that I won't betray you, Henrich. HENRICH: Every day they hold a collegium which they call the Collegium Polemiticum, 6 where more than twelve people get together to talk about affairs of state. GESKE: Where is this meeting held? HENRICH: Missus may not call it a meeting, it's called a collegium. GESKE: Where, then, is this collegium held? HENRICH: It's held by turns, now with one, now with another; today-again, you didn't hear it from me-it will be held here. GESKE: Ah, hal Now I understand why he wanted me out today, visiting the blacksmith's wife, Annike. HENRICH: You could go out, but come back in an hour and surprise them. Yesterday they held this collegium at Jens 6. Collegium Polemiticum: comic variation of Collegium Politicum, "Political College." I I

The Political Tinker Beertapper's; I saw them all sitting at a table with the master at the head of the table. GESKE: Do you know any of them? HENRICH: Sure, I know them all; let me see, the master and the innkeeper are two, Frantz Knifesmith 3, Christopher Painter 4, Gilbert Tapestryman 5, Christian Dyer 6, Gert Furrier 7, Henning Brewer 8, Sivert Customsnooper 9, Niels Scribe ro, David Schoolmaster u, and Richard Brushmaker 12.

ANTONIUS: That's a sorry lot to discuss matters of state! Did you hear what they talked about? HENRICH: I heard it all right, but I only understood a little of it; I heard enough to know that they depose emperors, kings, and electors and put others in their place again. Now they talked about customs duty, now about excise and sales tax; now about unqualified men on the Council, now about Hamburg's prosperity and the increase of its business; now they looked things up in books, now they looked at maps. Richard Brushmaker sat with a goosequill in his hand, so I figure he must be secretary of the Council. ANTONIUS: (Laughs.] The next time I meet him I'll certainly say, "Hello, Mister Secretary!" HENRICH: Yes, but you didn't hear any of this from me; the devil take these people who think they can depose kings and princes, yes and even the Burgomaster and Council. GESKE: Does my husband join in? HENRICH: Not much. He just sits, thinks, and takes his snuff while the others talk, and when they've finished, he makes the decision. GESKE: He didn't recognize you, then? HENRICH: He didn't see me because I was in another room; and even if he did see me, his highness wouldn't have allowed himself to recognize me, for he had the air of an area commander or of the head burgomaster when he's giving an ambassador audience. No sooner do people join a Council, than they get a kind of fog before their eyes, so they can't see anyone, not even their best friends. GESKE: Oh, poor me! That man is surely going to get us into trouble if the burgomaster and the Council find out that he's sitting there reforming the state. Those good men will have no reformation here in Hamburg. Just see if we don't get guards outside our house before we hear a word about it, who drag my good Herman von Bremen off to jail. HENRICH: That really could happen; for the Council has the most influence it's had since that time the armed troops 12

ACT II, Scene

I

were encamped outside of Hamburg. 7 The entire citizenry isn't strong enough to defend him. ANTONIUS: Rubbish! They only laugh at such fellows. What can a pewterer, a painter, or a brushmaker know about matters of state? The Council will be more amused than frightened by it! GESKE: I'm going to see if I can surprise them. Let's go in until then.

END OF ACT I

ACT II Scene 1 Collegium Politicum - Henrich - Herman HERMAN: Henrich, finish up now, steins and pipes on the table! They're here now. [HENRICH finishes the preparations. RICHARD BRUSHMAKER, GERT FuRRIER, SrvERT CusToMsNOOPER, FRANTz KNIFESMITH, and the INNKEEPER enter and sit around the table. HERMAN VoN BREMEN sits at the head.] HERMAN: Welcome everyone! My good men, where did we leave off last time? RICHARD BRUSHMAKER: I think we were discussing Germany's interests. GER T FURRIER: That's true, now I remember. It will all fall into place at the next meeting of Parliament. I wish I could be there for one hour. I'd whisper something into the ear of the electoral prince of Mainz that he'd thank me for! These good people have no idea wherein the interests of Germany lie. Who's ever heard of an imperial residence, such as Vienna, without a fleet, or in the least without galleys. They should surely keep a war fleet for the defense of the country; there are certainly enough war taxes for it. You'd better believe that the Turk is wiser! We can never learn how to fight a war better than from him. There are enough trees in both Austria and Prague, if only they would use them for either ships or masts~. If we had a fleet in Austria or Prague, the Turks or the French would certainly give up

7· From 1708 to 1712, Hamburg was occupied by troops from Lower Saxony in order to put down the unrest caused by the city's poorer inhabitants. I

3

The Political Tinker trying to attack Vienna, 8 and we could go all the way to Constantinople. But no one thinks of that! SIVER T CUSTOMSNOOPER: No, never a mother's son. Our forefathers were much wiser. It all depends on the preparations. Germany isn't any larger now than it was in the old days when we didn't only defend ourselves famously against all our neighbors, but even acquired large pieces of France and laid siege to Paris both by land and by sea. 9 FRANTZ KNIFE SMITH: But Paris isn't a seaport. SIVER T: Then I must certainly have a poor understanding of my maps. I know very well where Paris is. Here's England, right where I'm holding my finger, the Channel runs through here, here's Bordeaux, and here Paris. FRANTZ: No, brother. Here, of course, is Germany, and here it borders France, which is landlocked with Germany, ergo, 10 Paris cannot be a seaport. SIVER T: Is there, then, no ocean bordering France? FRANTZ: Absolutely not; a Frenchman who has not traveled abroad doesn't know the first thing about ships or boats. Just ask Mister Herman. Isn't it as I say, Mister Herman? HERMAN: I'll quickly settle this. Henrich, get us a map of Europe, Danckvart's Map.n INNKEEPER: Here's one, but it's in a few pieces. HERMAN: That doesn't matter. I know very well where Paris is; I just want the map to convince the others. Do you see now, Sivert, here is Germany. SIVER T: That's right enough; I can tell by the Danube River, which runs right there. [As he points to the river, he knocks over his stein with his elbow, so the map is ruined.] INNKEEPER: That Danube River has quite a current! [Everyone laughs.] HERMAN: Listen, good people. We talk so much about foreign matters, let's talk a little about Hamburg; that topic can surely give us enough to do. I've often thought about why it is that we don't have any colonies in India, but have to buy those goods from others. Now that's a matter that

8. The Turks besieged Vienna in 1683; however the French never got that far. 9· Sivert is referring back to Viking times. 10. ergo: "therefore." II. "Danckvart's Map" combines Dutchman Justus

Danckert, who published several incorrect European maps in the seventeenth century, and Caspar Danckwert, who published a description of Schleswig-Holstein (1652) that contained thirty-seven maps by the royal Danish cartographer Johannes Mejer.

14

ACT II, Scene

I

the burgomaster and the Council certainly ought to think about. RICHARD: Don't talk about the burgomaster and the Council. If we wait for them to think about it we'll have to wait for a long time. Here in Hamburg a burgomaster is praised only when he constrains good citizens. HERMAN: I think, you good men, that it's not too late; for why shouldn't the king of India grant us trade as well as the Dutch, who have nothing to send there excepting for butter and cheese, which usually spoils along the way? I'm convinced we'd do well to present the Council with a petition about that. How many of us are gathered? INNKEEPER: We are just six; I don't thirrk the other six are coming any more. HERMAN: That's enough. What do you think Mister Innkeeper? Let's vote. INNKEEPER: I'm completely against that petition; for such travels take many good people, from whom I earn a daily penny, out of the city. SIVER T: I believe we must see more to the city's prosperity than to our own interests, and that Mister Herman's petition is the most excellent one that could ever be made. The more trade we establish, the more our city will surely flourish; the more ships that come here, the better it is for us small officials. Although that last isn't the main reason I support this petition; the city's welfare and prosperity alone compel me to recommend it. G ERT: I absolutely cannot agree to that petition, instead I recommend that we establish trade with Greenland and the Davis Strait, for that trade is much more useful and beneficial for the city. FRANTZ: I note that Gert's vote is cast more for his own benefit than for the good of the Republic; for voyages to India aren't needed as much by furriers as voyages to the Nordic areas. For my part, I believe that the Indian trade is more important than all others, for in India one can sometimes trade a knife, fork, or scissors to the natives for its weight in gold. We must arrange it so the petitions we present to the Council don't smell of self interest; or we won't get anywhere with them. Rr CHARD: I'm of the same mind as Niels Scribe. HERMAN: You vote like a bushman! Niels Scribe isn't even here. But what's that woman doing in here? Oh, it's my wife.

I

5

The Political Tinker Scene 2 Geske - Collegium Politicum GESKE: Are you here, Deadbeat? It'd be better if you worked on something, or in the very least, if you supervised your people; we're losing one job after another with your goofing off. HERMAN: Be quiet, wife! You'll be Mrs. Burgomaster before you know it; do you mean to say that I go out to waste time? Yeah, sure! I do ten times more work than all of you together; you others merely work with your hands, while I work with my brain. GESKE: All crazy people do the same; like you, they build castles in the air and rack their brains with madness and foolishness, deluding themselves that they're doing important things, when it's actually nothing! GERT: If she was my wife, she wouldn't open her mouth more than once. HERMAN: No, Gert, a politician mustn't mind that. A year ago, or three, I would have beat my wife's back for such words; but since the time I began to read political books, I've learned to despise such behavior. Qvi nescit simulare, nescit regnare, said an old politician who was no fool. I think his name was Agrippa or Albertus Magnus; for it's fundamental to all politicians in the world, that whosoever cannot bear to hear a harsh word from a hotheaded, mad wife is not fit for high office. A cool head is the greatest virtue, and the gemstone which best adorns rulers and leaders. Therefore, I don't believe anyone should sit on our City Council before first demonstrating his cool-headedness and showing that he can tolerate both insults, blows, and slaps to the face. I'm hotheaded by nature, but I've sought to overcome it by studying. I read in the introduction of a book called The Political Codfish that when you are overcome by anger, you should count to twenty, and in the meantime, the anger often passes. 12 GER T: It wouldn't help me if I counted to a hundred. HERMAN: Yes, then you'll never amount to more than 12. Qvi ... regnare: "He who cannot play-act, cannot govern." Neither Cornelius Agrippa (r486-1535L the German alchemist and philosopher, nor Albertus Magnus (II93-128o), the German theologian Albert the Great, are thought to have anything to do with that sentence, which was apparently spoken by Ludvig XI. Der politische ... Stock-Fisch (r68r), a work by Johann Riemer (r648-r714), does teach the art of making a good match through the knowledge of art and science, but has nothing about counting to twenty.

r6

ACT II, Scene 3 being a subordinate. Henrich, give my wife a stein of beer at the little table. GEsKE: No, you scoundrel! Do you think I came here to drink? HERMAN: I, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, IO, I I, I2, 13. Now it's all over. Listen, Woman, you mustn't speak so sharply to your husband, it sounds so terribly common. GESKE: Then is it fashionable to beg from door-to-door? Doesn't every wife have reason to rail when she has such a deadbeat for a husband, who neglects his house and lets his wife and children go without? HERMAN: Henrich, give her a glass of brandy, she's gotten herself all worked up. GEsKE: Henrich! Give my husband, the scoundrel, a couple of raps alongside the head! HENRICH: You'll have to do that yourself; but thank you for the offer. GESKE: Then I'll do it myself! [She slaps his face.] HERMAN: [Counts from one to twenty. He acts like he's going to hit her back, then starts counting all over.] If I weren't a politician, you'd have gotten yours. G ERT: If you're not going to take care of your wife, then I will. Get out of here! Out! [GESKE exits in a rage.] Scene 3 Collegium Politicum G ERT: I'll teach her to stay properly at home next time. I admit, that if it's political to let your wife pull you around by the hair, then I'll never be a politician. HERMAN: Oh! Qvi nescit simulare, nescit regnare; it's easily said, but not so easily practiced. I admit that my wife insulted me deeply; in fact, I think I'll run out after her and beat her on the street! But I, 2, 3, 4, s, 6, 7, 8, 9, ro, II, 12, I3, I4, IS, I6, I?, r8, I9, 20. Now it's over; let's talk about other matters. FRANTZ: Women have all too much to say here in Hamburg. GER T: Yes, that's true; I've often thought about proposing something about that. But it is difficult to fight with them. Nevertheless, the proposal is good enough. HERMAN: What is your proposal? G ERT: It consists of a few articles: I. I propose that a marriage contract should not be forever, but should be made for a specific number of years, so when a man isn't happy

17

The Political Tinker with his wife, he can make a new contract with another one; but he should be bound, like in a lease, to give her notice three months before Moving Day, which should be either Easter or Michaelmas. 13 If he's happy with her, he can simply renew the contract. Believe me, if such a law were passed, there wouldn't be one shrewish wife in Hamburg; instead each would do her best to pay lip service to her husband to have the contract renewed. Do you good men have anything to say against that article? Frantz! You're smiling so slyly, you surely have something so say against it; let's hear it. FRANTZ: Wouldn't a wife sometimes find it advantageous to be separated from a husband who was either cruel to-her, or a deadbeat who only ate and drank and refused to work to support his wife and children? Or else, she could desire someone else and make it so miserable for her husband that he would let her go against his will. I believe that even greater trouble could come from that. You know, there are ways to control a wife. If everyone did like you, Mister Herman, and counted to twenty every time he got slapped, we'd end up with a fine bunch of wives. It's my humble opinion that the best way for a man to handle a shrewish wife is to threaten to sleep alone and not go to bed with her until she improves. G ER T : I couldn't take that. As many men could resign themselves to that as wives. FRANTZ: Then the husband can get a little something on the side. G ERT: Then the wife can get a little something on the side. FRANTZ: But, Gert, let's hear the other articles. G ER T: Yeah, just see if he'd do that. Maybe you feel like joking some more; nothing is good enough, you always have something to say against it. HERMAN: Let's talk about other matters. If anyone heard us they'd think we were holding a matrimonial court. I was thinking last night, since I couldn't sleep, how the government here in Hamburg could best be organized so certain families, whose members, until now, seemed to be born to fill the positions of burgomasters and councilors, could be locked out of the government's highest offices and a complete freedom could be introduced. I thought that the 13. The Archangel Michael's Day, the twenty-ninth of September, was Moving Day, or the day on which servants were allowed to change jobs; it was also the day on which people were allowed to move to new residences.

r8

ACT II, Scene 3 burgomasters could be selected in turns, first from one guild and then from another, so all citizens could become involved in the government, and every guild could then flourish; for example, when a goldsmith became a burgomaster he could see to the goldsmiths' interests; a tailor to the tailors' development, a pewterer to the pewterers', and no one could be a burgomaster for more than one month so one guild couldn't flourish more than any other. When the government is set up like that, then we can really call ourselves a free people. EvERYONE: That proposition is wonderful; you speak like Solomon. 14 FRANTZ: That proposition is good enough, but ... GERT: You always jump in with your "buts"! I think either your mother or father must have been a Buttist. HERMAN: Just let him speak his mind. What do you have to say? What do you mean with your "but"? FRANTZ: I'm thinking, won't it be difficult sometimes to get a good burgomaster from every guild? Mister Herman is good enough, for he has studied well; but where are we going to find, when he's dead, another among the pewterers who is qualified for such a form of government? For when the Republic is brought to its knees, it isn't as easy to recast it in another form as it is to recast a plate or a pitcher that's ruined. GER T: Oh, that's nothing! We're sure to find talented men, even amongst the craftsmen. HERMAN: Listen Frantz, you're still a young man, and therefore can't see as deeply into these things as we others; even though I can see that you have a good head, and in time will amount to something. I'll just briefly show you that your objection has no basis, by our group alone: There are more than twelve of us in our fraternity, each one a craftsman; each of us, you know, can see hundreds of mistakes being made by the Council. Imagine now that one of us became burgomaster and corrected the mistakes that we have discussed so often, but that the Council cannot see; would the city of Hamburg lose anything with such a burgomaster? If you good men are all of the same mind, I'll submit this proposal. EvERYONE: Yes, of course. HERMAN: But enough of these matters, the time is getting 14. Solomon was the son of David, king of Israel in the tenth century B.c. He was noted for his wisdom.

I9

The Political Tinker away and we haven't read the newspapers yet. Henrich! Let's have the latest newspapers! HENRICH: Here are the latest newspapers. 15 HERMAN: Give them to Richard Brushmaker, who usually reads for us. RICHARD: They write from the main camp at the Rhine River, that they are waiting for reinforcement. HERMAN: Oh, they've written that twelve times in a row. Jump over the Rhine River. It annoys me to death to listen to those issues. What do they report from Italy? RICHARD: From Italy they write that Prince Eugenius has broken camp, crossed over the Po River, and bypassed all fortifications to surprise the enemy's army, who therefore retreated in great haste eighteen miles back. The duke of Vendome ravaged and burned everything in his own country as he retreated. 16 HERMAN: Oh, oh! His Highness is struck with blindness and we're lost. I wouldn't give £our pennies for the entire army in Italy. GER T: I maintain that the prince did the right thing; that's always been my recommendation. Frantz Knifesmith, didn't I say the other day that they should do that? FRANTZ: No, I don't remember that. GER T: Yes, I've certainly said it a hundred times; for why should the army sit around and take it easy? The prince surely did the right thing. I'd dare to defend that against anyone. HERMAN: Henrich! Give me a glass of brandy. I swear to you good men that everything went black for me when I heard that news. Here's to you, Monsewers! I dare say! I call it a major error to bypass those fortifications. SIVER T: You can believe I would have done the same if the army had been entrusted to me. FRANTZ: Yes, you'll certainly see them making customsnoopers into generals.

IS. These must be very old newspapers, because the comedy takes place after I7I2, but all of the reported news happened between I704 and 1706. r6. This generally describes the battle of Hiichstiidt in Bavaria, I 3 August I704, during the War of the Spanish Succession (I?oi-14)Prince Eugen of Savoy, the

Austrian field marshal, together with the duke of Marlborough, defeated the French army at the battle, which was not commanded at that time by the duke of Vend6me. Louis-Joseph, due de Vend6me, was the French army commander who reconquered Spain from Austria in 1710.

20

ACT III, Scene

I

SIvER T: You have no need to ridicule me, I dare say I'm just as good as the next man. G ERT: Sivert is certainly right, in that the Prince did well to attack the enemy head-on. HERMAN: Oh, my good Gert, you're much too conceited, you still have something to learn. GER T: Well I'm not going to learn it from Frantz Knifesmith! [They get into a violent argument and talk all at once; they jump up from their chairs threatening each other and making a commotion. HERMAN pounds on the table and yells.] HERMAN: Quiet. Quiet, Ihr Herren! Let's stop talking about it; you can each keep your opinion. Listen, Ihr Herren, just pay attention. Do you mean to say that that the duke of Vendome retreated out of fear, and set fire to the land? No! That fellow has read Alexander Magnus' Chronicle, because that's just what he did when Darius was pursuing him, and he thereby won a victoiy just as great as the one we won at Hochstiidt. 17 HENRICH: The postmaster's clock just struck twelve! HERMAN: Then it's time to go. [As they exit, they dispute and make a commotion about what has been said.] END

OF

ACT II

ACT III Scene I Abrahams - Sanderus - Christopher- Jochum ABRAHAMs: Now let me tell you a story that will amuse the entire city. Do you know what I've planned with three or four distinguished people here in town? SANDER US: No, I don't. ABRAHAMS: Don't you know Herman von Bremen? SANDER US: Surely he's the tinker who's so interested in politics and who lives in this house. ABRAHAMS: The very same. I was recently in the company of some of the Council, who spoke zealously against this same man, because he was speaking so boldly, in the public house, against the government-reforming everything. These same people thought it fitting to send spies in, to

n. Ihr Herren: "gentlemen." Alexander Magnus' Chronicle refers to the Roman writer Curtius' book about Alexander the Great, which was published in Danish in 1704. It was actually the Persian king Darius who burned the fields when he was being pursued by Alexander. 2I

The Political Tinker document what he says, so he can be chastised as an example to others. SANDERus: I wish that kind of man could be punished someday; for they sit over a stein of beer and criticize kings, princes, authorities, and generals in ways that are terrible to hear. It's also dangerous; for the common people don't have the judgment to consider how preposterous it is for a pewterer, hat maker, or brush maker to speak with the least bit of knowledge on such matters, and see the things that an entire Council cannot see. ABRAHAMs: That's true, for this same tinker can reform the entire German nation while he's repairing a plate, and play state reformer and plate reformer at the same time. But I don't like those councilmen's proposition, for to punish or arrest such a man merely incites an outcry from the common people, and makes such fools more reputable. My opinion is that we should, therefore, play a trick on him, that will get better results. SANDER us: What do you have in mind? ABRAHAMS: To send him some deputies, pretending to come from the Council, to congratulate him with the office of burgomaster, and quickly throw him some difficult matters that must be resolved; then we'll see how miserable he becomes, and he'll find out for himself the great difference between criticizing a public office and understanding it. SANDER US: But what will be the result? ABRAHAMS: The result will be, that he either clears out of the city in desperation, or humbly asks to be dismissed and acknowledges his incompetence. I have therefore come to you, Monsieur Sanderus, with the sole purpose of seeking your help in setting up this intrigue, for I know you are skilled in such things. SANDERUS: That can be done. We'll play the part of these deputies ourselves and go right in to him. ABRAHAMS: Well, here is his house. Jochum or Christopher, knock on the door and say that two councilmen are here, who will speak to Herman von Bremen. [They knock on the door.] Scene 2 Herman - Abrahams - Sanderus - Jochum - Christopher HERMAN: Who would you like to talk to? JocHuM: There are two councilmen here who would like the honor of visiting you. 22

ACT III, Scene 3 HERMAN: Good grief, what is it? I'm as filthy as a pig! ABRAHAMS: Your humble servants, Honorable Mr. Burgomaster. We have been sent here by the Council to congratulate you with the office of burgomaster here in the city; for the Council has looked more upon your merits than your position or circumstance, and has selected you to be burgomaster. SANDERUS: The Council considers it unfair that such a wise man should occupy himself with such simple work and bury his great talent in the earth. HERMAN: My noble colleagues! Please convey my greetings and thanks to the illustrious Council and assure them of my good graces. I'm pleased that they've come to ~his conclusion, solely for the sake of the city and not for me personally; for if I were anxious for rank, I probably would have become something long ago. ABRAHAMS: Honorable Mr. Burgomaster, the Council and citizenry cannot expect other than the city's prosperity under such sage authority. SANDER us : And have therefore bypassed so many other rich and distinguished men who have sought this high office. HERMAN: Yes, yes; I hope they will never regret this choice. ABRAHAMS AND SANDERUS: We both commend ourselves, then, to Mr. Burgomaster's good graces. HERMAN: It will be a pleasure for me to do you some service. Forgive me if I can't accompany you any further. SANDER US: No! Neither would it be proper for Mr. Burgomaster to see us out. HERMAN: [Calls to one of the LACKEYs.] Listen, comrade! (Offers a coin.] Here you are, for a pitcher of beer. LACKEYS: Oh! We can't accept it, Your Highness. Scene 3 Herman - Geske HERMAN: Geske! Geske! GESKE: [Inside.] I don't have time. HERMAN: Get out here! I have something to tell you that you never dreamed of in your whole life! GESKE: [Enters.] Now, what's going on? HERMAN: Do you have any coffee in the house? GESKE: What nonsense! When did I last use coffee? HERMAN: Then you're going to be using it from now on;

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The Political Tinker within half an hour you're going to be visited by all the councilmen's wives. GESKE: I think that man is dreaming. HERMAN: Yes, the way I dream, I've dreamed us into a burgomastership! GESKE: Listen, husband, don't make me mad again, you know what happened last time! HERMAN: Didn't you see the two gentlemen who just walked past with their lackeys? GESKE: Yes, I saw them. HERMAN: They were just here and informed me from the Council, that I have become burgomaster! GESKE: Like hell you have. HERMAN: Now see to it, dear wife, that from now on you endeavor to acquire more distinguished manners and that none of the old pewterer ideas stay with you. GESKE: Oh! Is it true, my dear husband? HERMAN: It's as true as I'm standing here. In just a minute we'll have a house full of well-wishers, of dutiful servants, of may-I-have-the-honorers and I-kiss-your-handers! GESKE: [On her knees.] Oh, my dear, husband! Forgive me if I've ever done anything against you. HERMAN: All is forgiven; just endeavor to be more distinguished from now on, then you shall have my good graces. But where are we going to get a servant in a hurry? GESKE: We'll have to throw some of your clothes on Henrich until we can buy some livery. But listen, darling, since you've become burgomaster, I request that Gert Furrier be punished for the wrong he did me today. HERMAN: No, my dear wife! A burgomaster's wife must not think of seeking revenge on a wrong committed against a pewterer's wife. Let's get Henrich in here. Scene 4 Geske- Herman - Henrich GESKE: Henrich! HENRICH: Yeah! GESKE: Henrich, you must not answer like that anymore; don't you know what's happened to us? HENRICH: No, I don't know. GESKE: My husband has become burgomaster. HENRICH: Over where? GESKE: Over where? Over Hamburg! HENRICH: The hell he has; that's one hell of a jump for a tinker.

ACT III, Scene 4 HERMAN: Henrich! Speak with greater respect! You should know that you are now the lackey of a great man! HENRICH: Lackey! Well then I didn't advance nearly so much! HERMAN: You certainly will advance. In time you can become one of the mounted Honor Guards. 18 So be quiet. You'll have to act the part of a lackey until I can get a servant. He'll have to wear my brown tailcoat, my dear, until we can get a uniform ready. GESKE: But I'm afraid it'll be much too long. HERMAN: Yes, I know it's too long; but we must quickly make do with what we have. HENRICH: Good lord! It hangs all the way down to my heels. I'll look like a rabbi! HERMAN: Listen, Henrich. HENRICH: Yes, Master. HERMAN: You scoundrel, don't give me any more of those titles; from now on, when I call for you, just answer, "m'Lord." And when someone comes and asks for me, you must say, "Burgomaster von Bremenfeld is at home." HENRICH: Do I answer like that whether m'Lord is home or not? HERMAN: Nonsense! When I'm not home, you must answer, "Mr. Burgomaster von Bremenfeld is not home;" and when I don't want to be bothered you'll say, "The burgomaster is not granting audience today." Listen, Sweetheart, you must quickly make some coffee, you have to have something to offer the councilmen's wives when they arrive; for from now on our reputation will be, that people can say, "Burgomaster von Bremenfeld gives good advice, and his wife good coffee." I'm so afraid, Sweetheart, that you'll do something wrong before you become used to your new position. Henrich, run and get a tea table and some cups and let the maid run after four pennies worth of coffee; we can always buy more later. For the time being, it must be the rule, Sweetheart, that you say as little as possible until you learn genteel conversation. You mustn't be too humble, either, but stand up for your respect, and do everything you can to get the old pewterer ways out of your head and make believe that you've been a burgomaster's wife for many years. Every morning there must always be a r8. The Hamburg Council had sixteen mounted council servants who comprised a kind of honor guard, complete with extravagant uniforms. They were apparantly able to earn extra income by serving as special officials at events such as private weddings and funerals.

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The Political Tinker table prepared with tea for the visitors who come, in the afternoon a table prepared with coffee, and after that we play cards. The card game they play is Allumber; I'd give a hundred rix-dollars if you and our daughter, Engelke, understood it. You must pay careful attention when the others play, so you can catch on! In the mornings you must lounge in bed until nine or nine-thirty, for only common people get up in the summer with the sun; excepting on Sundays, when you must get up earlier because that's when I take my laxative. You must get a beautiful snuffbox, which you set on the table when you play cards. When someone drinks to your health, you don't say, 11 Thanks," but instead, "Tres humble Servitor." And when you yawn, don't cover your mouth, for that is no longer done among distinguished people; finally, when you're in company, don't be too proper, but put off your propriety a little ... Listen, I forgot something: You must also get yourself a lapdog, which you shall love as much as your own daughter; for that's also fashionable. Our neighbor's wife, Arianke, has a cute dog that she'll surely lend you until we can get our own. You must give the dog a French name, that I'll come up with when I get some time to think about it. It should always lie in your lap, and you must kiss it at least half a dozen times when visitors are here. 19 GESKE: No, my dear husband, I can't possibly do that; for you don't always know where a dog has lain and dirtied itself. On top of that, you could get either a mouthful of filth or fleas. HERMAN: No nonsense! If you're going to be a lady, then you must act like a lady. Such a dog can also give you opportunities for conversation; for when you can't think of anything to say, you can talk about your dog's qualities and virtues. Just do as I say, Sweetheart. I understand the fashionable world better than you. Just mirror me. You'll see that there won't be the slightest remains of the old lifestyle left in me. It won't happen to me like it happened to a certain butcher who became a councilman. When he finished writing one page and had to turn the sheet, he put his pen in his mouth, like he used to do with his butcher knife. You go in now and prepare; I have to talk to Henrich a little, alone. 19. Allumber was a popular card game brought to Denmark by Just H0gh about 1690. The name is derived from the French L'hombre. Tres humble Servitor: "most respectful servant." Geske should have said "tres humble servante. ··

ACT III, Scene 5 Scene 5 Herman -

Henrich

HERMAN: Listen, Henrich. HENRICH: Mr. Burgomaster. HERMAN: Do you think a lot of people will be envious because of my promotion? HENRICH: What does m'Lord care about envy? If I could only be made Burgomaster like this, I'd give the envious death and the devil! HERMAN: The only things I'm a little worried about are some of the small formalities; for the world is governed by pedantry, and people-are-moreconeemecl with the smaU details than with important things. If only that first day was over when I have to make my entrance into the city hall, then I'd be happy; for the important business is a piece of cake for me. But I have to prepare myself for my first meeting with my colleagues and not offend the traditional formalities. HENRICH: Baloney, Mr. Burgomaster! No respectable man is bound by such formalities. If I were making such an entrance, I wouldn't do any more than extend my hand for the councilmen to kiss, and wrinkle up my brow a lot so they'd know my intentions and that I was demonstrating silently that a burgomaster is neither to be sneezed at nor a flathead. HERMAN: But remember, I have to make a speech in the city hall the first day I am introduced. I can certainly make as good a speech as anyone here in the city; for I'd dare to commit myself to preach, even if I had to do it tomorrow. But I've never before attended such a ceremony, so I don't know exactly what wording is normally used. HENRICH: M'Lord, no one excepting schoolmasters bind themselves to set phrases. For my part, if I were burgomaster, I'd be content to keep it short and to the point; for example, "It must seem somewhat strange, noble and worthy councilmen, to see a simple tinker recast so quickly as a burgomaster ... " HERMAN: No, no! That's a poor beginning. HENRICH: No, that's not the beginning. I'd begin my speech like this, "I thank thee, noble and wise gentlemen, for the honor you have done a simple tinker like me by making him a burgomaster." HERMAN: All you can come up with is your damned tinker! It's not acceptable to talk that way in the city hall where I

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The Political Tinker have to act as though I was born a burgomaster. If I spoke like that I'd only be scorned and ridiculed. No, no, Henrich, you'd be a terrible speaker. Only a rogue would accuse me of ever having been a tinker. I merely practiced a little pewtering to pass the time, when I was tired of studying. HENRICH: Only a rogue would also accuse me of ever having been a tinker's boy. HERMAN: Then why do you want me to speak like that? HENRICH: Oh, a little patience! M'Lord is much too hasty. I would also tell them, politely, that if someone mocked me because I was recently a pewterer, they'd be in trouble. And if I noticed the least mocking look from anyone, I'd say, "Noble and wise gentlemen, do you dreamers imagine that you've made me a burgomaster merely to make a fool of me?" Then I'd pound the podium a lot when I spoke, so they'd clearly note by my introductory speech, that I'm not to be trifled with, and that they've gotten a burgomaster worth his salt. If the burgomaster cowers in the beginning, the Council will regard him as a scoundrel forever. HERMAN: You talk like a scoundrel; I'll certainly think of what to say on my own. Let's go in. END

OF ACT III

ACT IV Scene 1 HENRICH: (Alone.] [He wears a coat that goes clear to the

floor. It has braid on both sleeves and is trimmed with white paper.]l'll be dog sweat if I can understand how the Council got the idea to make my master a burgomaster. I can't see any connection between a pewterer and such a high magistrate, unless it might be from the fact that just as a pewterer puts old plates and dishes into a form and recasts them into something new, a good burgomaster could recast the republic again with good laws when it collapses. But the good men have not considered the fact that my master was the worst tinker in all of Hamburg, and therefore, if they selected him on that basis, he'll also be the worst burgomaster we've ever had! The only good that comes from this choice is that, through it, I can become a mounted Honor Guard. That's a position I have the ability and inclination to fulfill, for since I was a child, I've always enjoyed seeing people get arrested. It's also a good position for a man who understands how to make something out of

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ACT IV, Scene

2

it; first, I pretend to have a lot of influence with the burgomaster, and when people get that dogma into their heads, I'll be able to make, at the very least, one or two hundred dollars a year with it. I won't accept it from greed, but solely to demonstrate that I understand my duties as an Honor Guard. If someone wants to talk to the burgomaster, I tell them he's not home. If they say they saw him through the window, I answer that doesn't matter, he is nevertheless not at home. The people of Hamburg quickly know what that response means: they slip Henrich a dollar and m'Lord suddenly comes home; if he doesn't feel good, he's suddenly well; if there are people with him, they've suddenly left; if he's napping; he suddenly gets up. I've spent some time with distinguished lackeys; I know well enough what goes on in such houses. In the old days, when people were as dumb as horses or asses, they called this bribery, but now they call it extra, tips, or uncertain income. But see, here comes Anneke; she doesn't know anything yet about these changes, for she still has such a common tinker look and walk. Scene 2 Henrich - Anneke ANN EKE: [Laughs.] Just see how that spook looks! I think that's a Watteau gown he's wearing. HENRICH: Listen, you tinker bitch! Haven't you ever seen a livery or a lackey before? These common people are just like beasts, they stand and gawk like cows when they see a person one day in different clothes than they wear other days. ANNEKE: I was joking, but now all joking aside: Did you know that I learned to tell fortunes today? There was an old woman in town today who read people's palms. I gave her a piece of bread, for which she taught me this art, to see people's futures in their hands. If you give me your hand, I'll quickly tell you your fortune. HENRICH: Yeah, sure, Anneke; Henrich isn't as dumb as you may think. I can smell a rat. You've heard news of the promotion that was promised me today. ANNEKE: Believe me, I don't know what you're talking about. HENRICH: Well she surely can keep a straight face! Yes, I know you've heard it for sure, that's why you're set to tell fortunes. No, Henrich has a head on his shoulders; he's not so easily lead by the nose.

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The Political Tinker ANN EKE: I give you my most solemn oath that I haven't heard the least little thing about what you're saying. HENRICH: Haven't you talked with Mrs. Burgomaster recently? ANNEKE: I think the boy is crazy, do I know any Mrs. Burgomaster? HENRICH: Well then, the young lady has certainly told you. ANN EKE: Oh! Just stop it for once with this foolishness, Henrich! HENRICH: All right, Anneke, here's my hand, predict as much as you want. I can tell for sure that you've heard news of what's happened, even though you're acting so innocent. It can't-hurt, though, that you're so sly; the entire household had better be from now on. Now then, what do you see in my hand? ANNEKE: Well, Henrich, I see that the master's switch, that hangs behind the stove, is going to dance a hearty Galiath20 on your back today. It's shameless to walk around all dressed up when there's so much work to do in the house, and for abusing the master's coat like that. HENRIcH: Listen, Anneke, I can tell fortunes without looking at palms. I predict that you're a scallywag, and that because of your shameless mouth, you're going to get a slap in the face, or two-depending upon your luck. And look, now you get the prophecy fulfilled! [He slaps her face.] ANNEKE: Ow! Ow! Ow! That's going to be an expensive slap! HENRICH: Next time learn to have respect for a great lord's lackey ... ANNEKE: Just wait, now the missus is coming. HENRICH: For the burgomaster's most distinguished servant ... ANNEKE: She'll have revenge on your back! HENRICH: For a mounted Honor Guard ... ANNEKE: Sure, sure, I still say, that's going to be an expensive slap. HENRICH: For a man who has great influence with the burgomaster ... ANNEKE: Oh, oh! I've been beaten before in this house! HENRICH: To whom the entire citizenry will show politeness and give handkisses from now on ...

20. The Galiath was a very energetic dance; in France it was called Ja gaillarde.

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ACT IV, Scene 3 ANN EKE: I believe the boy has gone completely mad. Help, Missus! Missus, come here! HENRICH: Sh, sh, sh-h-h. You're going to get in trouble with the missus. Now I can see that you don't know what's happened; therefore, like a Christian, I forgive you your offence. The Council has, by majority vote, elected our master to be a burgomaster; the missus will be Mrs. Burgomaster. They've sentenced away Engelke's maidenhood and favored her with the title of Young Lady. Now you can easily understand why it is no longer proper for me to work. That's also why I wear the livery that you see. ANN EKE: Listen! Don't stand there, on top of everything else, and play the fool with me. HENRICH: It's as I've said, Anneke! See, here comes the Young Lady, who'll confirm everything I've said. Scene 3 Engelke- Anneke - Henrich ENGELKE: Oh, God help this unfortunate wretch! Now I see that all hope is lost! HENRICH: Now, Young Lady, is this the time to cry, when your parents have had such good fortune? ENGELKE: Just shut up, Henrich! I will not be a Young Lady! HENRICH: Then what will you be? You're not a maiden any more, so you must be a Young Lady; that's the next step up the ladder of honor when you're separated from your maidenhood. ENGELKE: I'd rather be a peasant's daughter, then I'd be sure to get the man to whom I've already given my heart. HENRICH: Oh, is that all the Young Lady is crying for, that she wants to get married? Now you're more than likely to get married, and to whichever man you point; half the city will storm the house trying to become the burgomaster's son-in-law. ENGELKE: I won't have anyone excepting Antonius, whom I've already promised to marry. HENRICH: No, for shame, Maiden! Will you now have a wheelwright, who's hardly even equal to me, a mere Honor Guard? No! From now on you must have higher ambitions. ENGELKE: Just shut up, you boor! I'll give up my life before I'm forced to marry anyone else. HENRICH: Now don't worry, noble Young Lady, we'll see to

3I

The Political Tinker it, I and the burgomaster, if we can help Antonius to a position, and then you can certainly have him. ANNEKE: [Cries.] HENRICH: Why are you crying, Anneke? ANNEKE: These are tears of joy for the good fortune that has come to our household. HENRICH: That's true enough, Anneke, you have reason to rejoice; who in hell would have thought that such a sow as you could have become a Mammeselle? ANNEKE: And who the devil would have also thought that such a swine as you could have become a mounted Honor Guard? HENRICH: Listen, children, I don't have time to talk with you anymore right now. Mrs. Burgomaster is expecting visitors; so I have to make coffee. See, there she is; let's go; I must hurry and get the coffee table. Scene 4 Geske [Carrying a dog.]- Henrich [HENRICH comes in with the coffee table and is very occupied.] GESKE: Listen, Henrich, did you put syrup in the coffee? HENRICH: No, Missus. GESKE: I'll say this once and for all, Henrich, no more Master and Missus. Now run out and get some syrup and put it in the pot. [HENRICH goes out.] I never had to go to all this trouble before. But I guess it'll be easier when I get used to it. HENRICH: Here's the syrup. GESKE: Pour it into the pot. Good grief! There's knocking. Now we'll certainly see if the councilmen's wives come. HENRICH: [Answering the door.] Who would you like to talk to? A GIRL: Tell your master that he can lie as much as ten tinkers! I've worn out a pair of shoes just coming here for that serving dish. HENRICH: I said, who would you like to talk to? GIRL: I want to talk to Mister Herman. HENRICH: You've been led up the garden path. It is Burgomaster von Bremenfeld who lives here. GIRL: This is terrible, you can't even get your order finished, and on top of that you have to put up with being made a fool by a lousy tinker! HENRICH: If you have a complaint with the pewterers, then

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ACT IV, Scene 5 you have to go to city hall; there you'll surely get justice, if I know Burgomaster von Bremenfeld.

Two LACKEYS: Our ladies would like to know, if it is convenient for the burgomaster's wife, if they might have the honor of waiting on her. HENRICH: [To the GrRL.] Did you hear that, scallywag, there's no pewterer living here! [To the LACKEYs.] I'll find out if the burgomaster's wife is at home. [To GESKE.] There are two councilman's wives here, who would speak with the missus. GESKE: Let them come in. Scene 5 Madame Abrahams - Madame Sanderus Geske- Henrich

[They both kiss GESKE's apron.] MADAME ABRAHAMS: We have come today to convey our humble congratulations and show the heartfelt joy and pleasure we feel with your advancement, and to commend us to your affection and good graces. GESKE: Tres humble Servitewer! I don't know if you would like to drink a cup of coffee? MADAME ABRAHAMS: We thank the Mrs. Burgomaster, but we have only come this time to congratulate. GESKE: Tres humble Servitewer! But I know you certainly enjoy drinking coffee. Perhaps you can be prevailed upon. Be so kind as to sit down; the coffee is quite ready. Henrich! HENRICH: Noble Madame. GESKE: Have you poured the syrup in the coffee? HENRICH: Yes I have. GESKE: Be so kind, my dear ladies, as to accept my hospitality. MADAME SANDERUS: Mrs. Burgomaster must excuse us, we never drink coffee. GESKE: Oh, what kind of nonsense is that! I surely know better. Now please sit. MADAME ABRAHAMS: Oh, Mascrur/ 1 just thinking about that syrup makes me want to throw up. GESKE: Henrich, come here and fill the cups. MADAME SANDER US: That's quite enough, Comrade. I can only drink half a cup. 21.

Masreur: "sister;" or in this instance, "dear lady friend."

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The Political Tinker HENRICH: I must ask Mrs. Burgomaster to come to the burgomaster for a moment. GESKE: Excuse me, my dear ladies, I must leave for a moment. You will soon have the honor of seeing me again. Scene 6 Madame Abrahams - Madame Sanderus MADAME ABRAHAMS: [Laughs heartily.] Now who are the biggest fools, Sister? She whom we sit and mock in our hearts or we who must drink coffee mixed with syrup? MADAME SANDER US: For God's sake, Sister, don't say another word about that syrup! My stomach comes to my throat just thinking about it! MADAME ABRAHAMS: Did you see how she looked when we kissed her apron! [Laughs.] And as long as I live I won't forget her Tres humble Serviteur! [Laughs.] MADAME SANDERus: Don't laugh so loud, Sister. I'm afraid they can hear us! MADAME ABRAHAMS: Oh, Sister, the trick is to try to keep from laughing! And wasn't that the sweetest dog she had in her arms? The prettiest watch dog anyone could want; on top of everything, I'll bet his name is Joli! 22 Oh heavens! Isn't it true what people say, that no one is more arrogant than he who arises overnight from the rank gutter to great rank. Nothing is more dangerous than such quick changes. One who comes from a distinguished family, and has had a noble upbringing, usually remains the same, yes sometimes increases in humility, just as they increase in arrogance. But those people who arise overnight from nothing, like mushrooms; in them, haughtiness has its true seat. MADAME SANDER US: I wonder what causes that? It seems to me that such people should rather be humble, when they think about their former rank. MADAME ABRAHAMS: The reason may be that those who come from distinguished families don't suspect that anyone might hold them in contempt, so they don't worry about how they're being treated. On the other hand, common people suspect everyone; they think every word, every expression is intended to reproach them for their former rank, and therefore try to enforce their dignity by authority and tyranny. Believe me, dear Sister, there's something to 22.

Joli: "sweet, nice."

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ACT IV, Scene 7 coming from decent people. But there comes the boy, we'd better be quiet. Scene 7 Henrich - Madame Abrahams - Madame Sanderus HENRICH: The good Mardames won't have to wait too long. Her Highness will be right back again. The burgomaster had given her a new collar for her dog, but it was too wide, so the tailor is in measuring the dog's neck; as soon as it's taken care of, she'll return. I hope it doesn't upset the Mardames if I ask you about something: If you could be so kind as to remember me with a little appreciation; for I have a great amount of work, and slave like abeasthere in the house. MADAME ABRAHAMS: Oh course, Comrade! Here is a guilder, if you don't refuse. HENRICH: Oh! My deepest thanks! I wish I could serve you again. Now just drink right up like men while m'Lady is out; I'm sure she won't get angry about it, but if she does, I can certainly make everything all right again. MADAME ABRAHAMS: Comrade, the greatest service you can do for us, is to not press us. HENRICH: As I said, noble Mardames, m'Lady most assuredly won't get mad; you must drink right up. Maybe it isn't sweet enough, so I'll get some more syrup. But here comes m'Lady herself. Scene 8 Geske - Henrich -Madame Abrahams Madame Sanderus GESKE: Please forgive me for being gone so long. But you ladies haven't drunk anything in the meantime! I swear we're going to empty the pot, then, when we've finished the coffee, you must taste our beer; if I may say without boasting, it's as good as any in the city. MADAME SANDER US: Oh, I'm getting a terrible pain, Mrs. Burgomaster, please excuse me for not staying any longer; my sister will surely remain and accept your offer. MADAME ABRAHAMS: No, it would be a shame to abandon my sister. We commend ourselves to Mrs. Burgomaster's affection. GESKE: You must definitely have a glass of brandy, that will quickly refresh you; it eliminates gas. Henrich, run after a glass of Janever/ 3 the lady isn't well. 23. Geske mispronounces "Genever," a Dutch brandy.

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The Political Tinker MADAME SANDER US: No, excuse me, Mrs. Burgomaster, I must go. [MADAME SANDERUS and MADAME ABRAHAMS exit.] Scene 9 Geske - Henrich - Another Councilman's Wife - Arianke CouNCILMAN'S WIFE: Your humble servant, Noble Lady. It is my duty to come and bestow my congratulations. [GESKE raises her hand and the WIFE kisses it.] GESKE: It would please me if either I or the burgomaster could be of service to you. Won't you please sit down. Now you mustn't use any flattery, but act as though you are with your equals. CouNCILMAN'S WIFE: My deepest thanks, Noble Lady. [She sits.] GESKE: Some of the other councilmen's wives were just here drinking coffee with me; I'm certain there are a couple of cups left over if you like. The best is at the bottom. I most assuredly cannot drink another drop, for I've already had so much today that my stomach is tight as a drum! CouNCILMAN'S WIFE: My most humble thanks, but I've just had my coffee. GEsKE: As you wish; we noble people don't press anyone. But listen, my dear Madam, do you know any Franzoise 24 you could recommend for the Young Lady? I do want her to learn Franchise. CouNCILMAN'S WIFE: Yes, Noble Lady, I know one who is very good. GESKE: Excellent; but she must know right from the start that I won't tolerate her calling me Madam, the way the French usually do. Not because I'm arrogant, but I do have misgivings about it. CouNCILMAN'S WIFE: No that shouldn't be. But may I also have the pleasure of kissing the Young Lady's hands? GESKE: With pleasure! Henrich, go tell the Young Lady that a councilman's wife is here who would like to kiss her hands. HENRICH: I don't believe she can come; for she's darning her stockings. GESKE: Just listen how that boor rambles on. [Laughs.] He means she's embroidering. ARIANKE BLACKSMITH: [Enters. She is played by a man 24. Franzoise: Geske means franQaise (then spelled franQoise), "Frenchwoman," or in this instance, "governess."

ACT IV, Scene 9 dressed as a woman.] 25 Oh, my dear Sister Geske! Is it true your husband has become a burgomaster? That's as dear to me as if someone gave me two marks! Just see to it that you don't become too snooty, but acknowledge your old friends. GESKE: [Doesn't say a word.] ARIANKE: When did your husband become a burgomaster, Sister? GESKE: [Doesn't answer.] ARIANKE: You're lost in thought, Sister. I asked when your husband became burgomaster? CouNCILMAN'S WIFE: You must show a little more respect, Little Madam, for the burgomaster's wife. ARIANKE: No, I absolutely refuse to use flattery on Sister Geskei for we've been just like one body and soul. But what's wrong, Sister? I have the feeling that you've become somewhat stuck up. GESKE: Little Mother, I don't know you. ARIANKE: Well Our Lord will certainly know me then. When you needed money, you certainly knew me. You never know, my husband could yet become the same as yours before he dies. [GESKE feels faint, takes her vinaigrette and sniffs her smelling salts.] HENRICH: Get out of here, you smithy hag! Do you think you stand by the forge and talk? [HENRICH takes ARIANKE by the hand and leads her out.] GESKE: Oh, Madam! It's such a pain to associate with these common people! Henrich! You're in deep trouble, from now on, if you let in any more of those tradesmen's wives. HENRICH: That sow was drunki her breath reeked of brandy. CouNCILMAN'S WIFE: I'm truly sorry about that incidenti for I'm afraid that Mrs. Burgomaster has overexerted herself. Distinguished people cannot tolerate much. In fact, the higher one rises in position, the more delicate one's body becomes. GEsKE : Yes, I can swear to you that I am far from having the health that I had in my previous position. CouNCILMAN'S WIFE: I believe iti Your Highness will end up taking her laxatives every day, as all the other burgomaster's wives have done. 25. Men apparently played women's roles in the Lille Gnmnegade Theatre because there were only three actresses in the troupe, and not because of any theatre convention.

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The Political Tinker HENRICH: [To the audience.] I really don't think I have the same health, either, since I became an Honor Guard. I have a stitch right here, ow, ow, in my left side. You may laugh, good people, but it's really serious. I'm ma foP 6 afraid, that before I know it, I'll be plagued with gout. CouNCILMAN'S WIFE: Mrs. Burgomaster must engage a doctor by the year for her entire household, who can give you some drops, which you must always have, at the very least, here in a bottle whether you use them or not. GEsKE: Yes, I'll certainly follow your advice. Henrich, later you must run over to Doctor Hermelin and ask him, when he has time, to come and attend to me. CouNCILMAN'S WIFE: I must leav€ now, Noble Lady, and commend myself to your affections. GESKE: All is commended, my dear Mrs. Councilman! You have only to say the word to me or Mister Herman, that is to say, Burgomaster von Bremenfeldi we'll be of service to you and your dear husband in any way that we can. COUNCILMAN'S WIFE: [Kisses her apron.] Your most humble servant. GESKE: Let's go insidei my husband will give audience in here. END

OF ACT

IV

ACT V Scene r Henrich - Two Lawyers HENRICH: All right! Now I'll get my palm greasedi now it's audience time. Now you good people will see if someone who's been in service twenty years can do it any better than me. There's someone knocking. With whom would the gentlemen speak? FIRST LAWYER: We would like the honor of speaking with the burgomaster. HENRICH: He's not out of bed yet. FIRST LAWYER: Not up at four o'clock in the afternoon? HENRICH: Yes, he's up all right, but he's gone out. FIRST LAWYER: But we just met a man going out the door who spoke with him. HENRICH: Well, yes he's in, but he isn't feeling well. [Aside.] These fellows are as dumb as beasts, they don't get my meaning. 26. ma foi: "my faith; indeed."

ACT V, Scene

I

FIRST LAWYER: (Aside, to the SECOND LAWYER.] I notice, Monfrere, 27 this fellow wants his palm greased; if we slip him a guilder the burgomaster will appear in no time. [To HENRICH.] Listen Comrade, won't you accept a couple of guilders to drink to our health? HENRICH: No, gentlemen, really, I never accept gifts. FIRST LAWYER: What are we going to do, Monfrere~ I guess we'd better come back another time. HENRICH: [Beckons to them.] Hey, Messewers, you're so hasty! For your sake I'll accept the two guilders; otherwise you'd think me stuck up and then speak badly against our household. FIRsT L Aw-Y-ERC: Here then; €1Jmrade, are the two guilders, if you don't reject them; now will you please arrange an audience for us? HENRICH: Your humble servant! For your sake I will do everything that I can. The burgomaster is as healthy as a horse, but is nevertheless not well enough to speak to everyone. But because it is you, Messewers, it's another story; if you'll kindly wait for a moment, Messewers, I'll announce you. But there's the door again. Who would you like to talk to, my good man? A MAN: (Digging in his pants pocket.] I would like the honor of speaking with the burgomaster. HENRICH: [Aside.] This man knows about life, he went straight to his pocket. [To the MAN.] Yes, m'Lord, he's home, you may speak with him right away. [Holds out his hand.] MAN: [Brings his hand out of his pocket, but instead of money, he takes out his pocket watch.] I see that it's four o'clock already. HENRICH: Who was it, Monsewer wanted to talk to? MAN: With the burgomaster. HENRICH: He's not home, Monsewer. MAN: But you just said that he was home. HENRICH: That may be, Monsewer, but that was a slip of the tongue. [MAN exits.] HENRICH: [Aside.] Learn your lesson well from that swindler. You'll certainly find that the burgomaster is at your beck and call. [To the LAWYERS.] I'll announce you right away. (Exits.] FIRST LAWYER: Would you look at that boy, how well he 27. Monfrere: "my brother; colleague."

39

The Political Tinker already knows how to twist his duties to his own advantage. Keep up a good front, Monfrere, we're the ones who shall begin plaguing our good tinker. Our colleagues will finish the story. But see, here he comes.

Scene 2 Herman - The Two Lawyers - Henrich FIRST LAWYER: From the bottom of our hearts, noble Mr. Burgomaster, we congratulate you for this high honor in our city, and hope that you in mildness, caution, and vigilance will not fall short of your -predecessors, since His Honor has paved his way to this high office, not through wealth, family, or friends, but alone through his renowned great virtues, learning, and experience in affairs of state. HERMAN: Tres humble Serviteur! SECOND LAWYER: We are especially grateful that we now have a leader who not only has such divine wisdom ... HERMAN: I thank God. SECOND LAWYER: But who also has the reputation of being friendly toward all, and whose greatest pleasure lies in hearing the people's complaints and in helping them straighten things out; yes, I can say that I was nearly overcome with joy when I first heard the news that the vote was cast for Mr. Burgomaster von Bremen. HENRICH: That should be von Bremenfeld, Messewers. SECOND LAWYER: I humbly beg your pardon, I meant to say Burgomaster von Bremenfeld. Now we've come today, first, to offer our most humble congratulations, and then to seek His Honor's advice on a dispute that has arisen between our clients; which dispute we had both decided to have settled in court, but in order to save the time and money that such legal proceedings cost, we have since decided to submit ourselves to Mr. Burgomaster's judgment. Wherewith we agree to let your verdict stand. [HERMAN sits down and lets the others stand.) FIRST LAWYER: Both of our clients are neighbors, but there is a flowing river that separates their property from each other. Now it happened that three years ago the river broke off a large piece of my client's land and moved it over to his neighbor's fields. Should he keep it now? Isn't it true that Nemo alterius damno debet locupletari? After all, my opponent's client would enrich himself by my client's ill

40

ACT V, Scene

2

fortune, which goes aperte against aeqvitatem naturalem. Isn't that right, Mr. Burgomaster? 28 HERMAN: Yes, it isn't fair to desire that. You have the right, Monsieur! SECOND LAWYER: But Justinian says explicitly libra secunda Institutionum, titulo prima, de Alluvione ... 29 HERMAN: What the hell do I care about what Justinian or Alexander Magnus says, who lived maybe several thousand years before Hamburg was built? How can they make judgments in matters that didn't exist in their day? SECOND LAWYER: But I hope that Your Honor does not reject the law that all Germany abides by. HERMAN: That isn't what I meant. You didn't understand me right. I only meant to say ... [He coughs through the rest of his statement.] Now please be so kind as to continue presenting your case. SECOND LAWYER: These are Justinian's words: Qvod per alluvionem agro tuo {lumen adjecit, jure gentium tibi acqviri tur. 30 HERMAN: Mr. Lawyer, you talk so damned fast; now say it more clearly. SECOND LAWYER: (Repeats it slowly.] HERMAN: Listen, Monsieur, your pronunciation of the Latin language is so damned wrong; speak your mother tongue, then you'll do better. Now I don't say this because I hate Latin; sometimes I sit for hours speaking Latin with my servant. Isn't that true, Henrich? HENRICH: It's wonderful to listen to m'Lord speak Latin; I swear that tears come to my eyes just thinking about it. Words stream out of his mouth so fast it's like hearing peas boiling in a pot. I can't understand how the devil a man can speak so rapidly. But what cannot be achieved through diligent practice? SECOND LAWYER: Justinian's words, noble Mr. Burgomaster, are: "When a river takes another's land and brings it to yours, it is yours."

28. Nemo ... locupletari: "No one may profit through another man's misfortune." aperte ... naturalem: "clearly against natural equity." 29. Justinian I (483-565 A.D.), known for the Justinian Code, the codification of the Roman law by

his jurists. libra ... Alluvione: "In The Institutions, second book, first chapter, regarding alluvial (washedup)land ... " 30. Qvod ... acqviritur: "What a river has washed up onto your land, belongs to you according to the law of nations."

4I

The Political Tinker HERMAN: Yes, Justinian is right so far, for he was a good man. I have too much respect for him not to approve his judgment. FIRST LAWYER: But Mr. Burgomaster! My opponent reads the law like the devil reads the Bible. He forgets what comes right after that, Per alluvionem autem videtur id adjici, qvod ita paulatim adjicitur, ut intelligi non possit, qvantum qvoqvo temporis momenta adjicitur. 31 HERMAN: Messieurs! Excuse me, I must go up to city hall; the clock has struck four-thirty. Henrich, in the meantime see to it that you settle this case with them. FIRST LAWYER: But, Mr. Burgomaster, just give us a word on yuur opinion. HERMAN: Messieurs! You're both right, each in your own way. SECOND LAWYER: How can we both be right? I believe that when I'm in the right, my opponent is in the wrong. Justinian's law is crystal clear for me. HERMAN: Excuse me, I must go to city hall right away. FIRST LAWYER: (Taking hold of the burgomaster.] But I have proved that Justinian's law supports me. HERMAN: Yes, that's true, Justinian supports both of you, so why the devil don't you settle the matter? You don't know Justinian as well as I do; when he lays the coat on both sides it's the same as if he said, "Begone, fools, and settle the matter!" SECOND LAWYER: Mr. Burgomaster, to grasp the legislator's meaning correctly one must substantiate one article with another; doesn't it say in the following paragraph Qvod si vis fluminis de tuo praedio~ 32 HERMAN: Let go of me, you pettifoggers! You clearly heard that I have to go to city hall. FIRST LAWYER: Wait, Mr. Burgomaster! One moment; now let's hear what Hugo Grotius says. 33 HERMAN: Both you and Hugo Grotius can go to hell! What have I got to do with Hugo Grotius? He was an Armenian! What do laws that people make, way the hell out in

land." (The sentence continues: "and moves it all together to your neighbor's land, it is clear that it remains yours.") 33· Hugo Grotius (rs83-1645), a Dutch scholar and jurist.

31. Per ... adjicitur: "But alluvial lands are to be understood as those that are built up little-bylittle, so one cannot discern how much is added each moment." 32. Qvod ... praedia: "But if a river's power takes from your

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ACT V, Scene 3 Armenia, have to do with us? Henrich, throw them out of here! 34 (The LAWYERS exit. HENRICH is heard quarreling with someone in the hall and is thrown back in, on his head. He is followed by a HAG, played by a man in women's clothes.] HAG: (Grabs HERMAN by the chest and yells.] Oh, are you the magistrate who passed those damned laws saying a man can have two wives? Do you really think that God's judgment is not upon you? HERMAN: Are you mad, woman? Who the hell thought up that? HAG: Ai-i-i! I'm not leaving until I see blood! HERMAN: Ah! Help! Henrich! Peiter! [PEITER comes in and wrestles the HAG out the door. HENRICH, who had run for cover, finally helps out.) Scene 3 Herman - Henrich - Two Citizens HERMAN: Henrich! You'll be in trouble if you let in any more hags or lawyersi for each of them kills me in his own way. If anyone else comes and wants to talk to me, you must tell them that they'd better be careful not to speak Latin, in that I, for a particular reason, have forsworn it. HENRICH: I've also forsworn it for the same reason. HERMAN: You can tell them that I don't speak anything excepting for Greek. (There is a knock. HENRICH goes to the door and returns with a large packet of papers.) HENRICH: Here's a pile of papers from the Council that the burgomaster is supposed to study and give his opinions on. HERMAN: (Sits down at a table and rummages through the papers.] It isn't as easy to be a burgomaster as I thought, Henrich. I've received some matters to study that the devil himself couldn't figure out. (He starts to write, stands up and wipes the sweat from his brow, sits down again and crosses out what he had written.] Henrich! HENRICH: Mr. Burgomaster. HERMAN: What's that racket you're making? Can't you stand still? HENRICH: I won't move a muscle, Mr. Burgomaster. 34· Grotius was an uArminian,u a member of the sect founded by Jakob Arminius (rs6o-r6o9), whose members were called uArminians," and not a native of the country Armenia.

43

The Political Tinker [HERMAN stands up again and wipes the sweat from his brow as before. Then he throws his wig on the floor as though he could think better with a bare head. He paces, trips on the wig, and kicks it out of the way. He sits down, begins writing again, and yells.] HERMAN: Henrich! HENRICH: Mr. Burgomaster! HERMAN: You're really going to get it if you don't stand still! That's the second time that you disturbed my thinking! HENRICH: Surely, I didn't do anything, excepting tuck in my shirt and measure down my legs to see how much too long my livery coat is; HERMAN: [Stands up again and slaps his head with his hand to gather his thoughts.] Henrich! HENRICH: Mr. Burgomaster! HERMAN: Go out and tell those women, who're shouting in the street to sell their oysters, that they must not shout where I live because they are disturbing my political business. HENRICH: [Goes to the door and yells this three times.] Listen, you oyster hags! You scum! You bitches! You shameless hussies! You married men's whores! Is there no shame in you, that you dare shout like that on the burgomaster's street and disturb him in his business? HERMAN: Henrich! HENRICH: Mr. Burgomaster! HERMAN: Knock it off, you beast! HENRICH: It won't do any good for me to shout again, for the city is full of such people; no sooner does one pass by than another comes in his place, therefore ... HERMAN: No more talk! Stand still and shut up! [He sits down and again crosses out what he'd written. He writes again, stands up, stamps his foot in anger, and yells.] Henrich! HENRICH: Mr. Burgomaster! HERMAN: I'd be satisfied if the devil took this burgomaster position straight to hell. Would you like to be burgomaster in my place? HENRICH: Absolutely not. [Aside.] And the devil take any one who wants it. HERMAN: [Goes to sit down to begin writing again, but is concentrating on his papers, misses his chair, and falls onto the floor.] Henrich! HENRICH: Mr. Burgomaster!

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ACT V, Scene 3 HERMAN: I'm lying on the floor! HENRICH: Yeah, I can see that. HERMAN: Then get over here and help me up again! HENRICH: But Mr. Burgomaster said that I mustn't move from this place. HERMAN: Damn that boy. [Stands up by himself.] Wasn't that a knock at the door? HENRICH: Yes. Who would you like to talk to? FIRST CITIZEN: I'm the master of the Hatters' Guild; I have a complaint to lodge with the burgomaster. HENRICH: It's the master of the Hatters' Guild with some complaints. HERMAN~: 1- can't have more than one thing in my head at a time. Ask him what he wants. FIRST CITIZEN: It's too complicated; I must speak with the burgomaster himself. It can be done in an hour, for my grievance is made up of only twenty points. HENRICH: He says that he must speak to the burgomaster himself; for his points are made up of only twenty grievances. HERMAN: Oh, God strengthen this wretched man, my mind is completely mixed up already. Let him come in. FIRST CITIZEN: Oh, Mr. Burgomaster, I'm a poor man who has suffered much wrong, which the burgomaster will quickly grasp as soon as he hears it. HERMAN: You must put it in writing. FIRST CITIZEN: Here, I've written it in four pages. HERMAN: Henrich! There's knocking again. HENRICH: Who would you like to talk to? SECOND CITIZEN: I have a complaint to lodge with the burgomaster against the master of the Hatters' Guild. HERMAN: Who is it, Henrich? HENRICH: That man's opponent. HERMAN: Let him give you his complaint. Both of you gentlemen please wait in the antechamber for a moment. Henrich! HENRICH: Yes, m'Lord. HERMAN: Would you help me figure this out? I don't know what to do first. Read the Hatter's position to me. HENRICH: [Reading.] Noble, learned, strict, respectable Mr. Burgomaster: From this glorious town's illustrious citizenry's reputable guilds' first-fruit, I, the undersigned, present myself, unworthy Master of the reputable Hatters' Guild; and next, having made a respectful, as well as an affectionate congratulation, seeing so worthy and highly enlightened a man promoted to such a high highness,

45

The Political Tinker petition in deepest humility against one of the greatest, most dangerous, and abominable abuses that these vicious times, and even,more vicious men, have brought into practice here in this city, in hopes that Your Grace will remedy the situation. The matter is this, that the shopkeepers in this city have absolutely no fear or reticence to sell openly and offer for sale whole pieces of a kind of cloth they have woven from beaver hair, and even fall into the awful audacity of weaving it into stockings, although it is well known that beaver hair belongs solely to our profession. Because of that, we poor hatters cannot even buy at retail the hair necessary for the continuation of our tr-ade, resulting in good people having gotten into the practice that only a few will now pay more than ten or twenty rix-dollars for a hat, causing irreparable damage to our craft's reputation and income. If it would now please Mr. Burgomaster to consider the following twenty-four important arguments and reasons, in accordance with which we hatters have reason to claim that we alone have the right to work with beaver hair; namely, (1) since olden times it has been the general practice and custom, not only here, but over the entire world, to wear beaver hair hats, which through many citations from history, as well as through legally produced evidence in courts of law, can be proved. First, through history ... HERMAN: Skip over the history. HENRICH: Second, through legal evidence, that Adrian Nilsen, who is seventy-nine years old, can remember that his father's great grandfather said ... HERMAN: Skip over what he's said. HENRICH: That it is enormous extravagance to use such expensive hair for stockings and clothing. It grates against all good sense and practice, especially since there is so much expensive and fine clothing imported from England, France, and Holland, with which one should certainly be content without cutting into an honest man's business ... HERMAN: Enough, enough, Hemich! I understand that the Master of the Guild is right. HENRICH: But I've heard that a magistrate must always hear both sides before he gives a verdict; shouldn't I therefore read his opponent's answer? HERMAN: All right. [He hands HENRICH the other man's papers.] HENRICH: Highborn Excellency, highly enlightened and highest political Mr. Burgomaster: As high as thy wisdom

ACT V, Scene 3 towers over others, my joy towers over others now that I've learned that you have become burgomaster; but that which I come for is, that the hatters do me harm, and will not allow me to sell material and stockings made of beaver hair. I know clearly what they want, they want to have the beaver trade for themselves and restrict the use of beaver hair to hats; but they do not understand. It is ridiculous to wear a beaver hair hat; you walk around with it under your arm, it's neither warm nor useful, and a straw hat would be as useful. Beaver hair stockings and clothing, on the other hand, are both warm and soft, and if Mr. Burgomaster could only try it, which can be arranged, he would admit it himself ..•. HERMAN: Stop, that's enough; he is also right. HENRICH: But even I know that they can't both be right. HERMAN: Then who is right? HENRICH: God and the burgomaster must know. HERMAN: (Stands up and paces.] This is one damned mess. Henrich! You dumb beast, can't you tell me who's right? Why should I pay you board and wages, you dumb dog? [There is a disturbance off stage.] What's going on out there? HENRICH: The two citizens are at each others' throats. HERMAN: Go out and ask them to have a little respect for the burgomaster's house. HENRICH: It's best, m'Lord, that they fight, so maybe they'll more quickly become good friends again. Good grief! I think they'll break in; listen to the way they're pounding on the door. [HERMAN crawls under the table and hides.] HENRICH: Who's knocking? A LACKEY: I'm here from a foreign resident; 35 m'Lord has something to discuss with the burgomaster that's very important. HENRICH: What the hell happened to the burgomaster? I wonder if the devil took the burgomaster? Mr. Burgomaster! HERMAN: (Whispers from under the table.] Hemich, who is it? HENRICH: A foreign president wants to talk to m'Lord. HERMAN: Ask him to come back in half an hour, and explain that there are two hatters with me whom I must attend to. Hemich, also ask the two citizens to go away until tomorrow. Oh God, strengthen this wretched man! 35· The "foreign resident," called by Herman in his confusion "president," is more clearly identified in Act V, Sc. 4 as an ambassador.

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The Political Tinker My head is so confused that I don't know what I'm saying or doing. Can't you help me get this straight, Henrich? HENRICH: I know of no better council for Mr. Burgomaster than he should hang himself. HERMAN: Go out and get me The Political Codfish that's lying on the living room table; it's a German book bound in white; maybe it will explain how I should receive foreign presidents. HENRICH: Does the burgomaster also want mustard and butter with it? HERMAN: No! It's a book bound in white! [While HENRICH is out, the BURGOMASTER, paces deep in thought, tearing the hatter's document into pieces.) HENRICH: Here's the book. But what is m'Lord tearing up? Surely it's the guild master's grievance. HERMAN: Oh! I was lost in thought! [He takes the book and throws it on the fioor.] Henrich, I think it's best for me to take your advice and hang myself. HENRICH: Hey! There's more knocking. [He exits and runs back in crying.) Oh, Mr. Burgomaster! Help! Mr. Burgomaster! HERMAN: What's the matter? HENRICH: There's an entire regiment of sailors outside the door screaming, "If we don't get orir rights, then we'll break every window in the burgomaster's house!" One of them hit me in the back with a stone! Ow-w! HERMAN: [Crawls back under the table.] Henrich, ask Mrs. Burgomaster to go out and restrain them; maybe they'll respect a woman. HENRICH: Oh, sure! You'll see what kind of respect sailors have for a woman; if she goes out, they might rape her! That'd be worse than this. HERMAN: No, she's just an old woman. HENRICH: Sailors aren't too picky; I wouldn't dare have my wife do it. There's knocking again; shall I open up? HERMAN: No, I'm afraid it's the sailors. Oh, I wish I was dead. Henrich, run over to the door and see who it is. HENRICH: Look there, if they aren't just walking in; it's two councilmen. Scene 4 Abraham - Sanderus - Herman - Henrich ABRAHAM: Isn't the burgomaster home? HENRICH: Yes, I believe he's sitting under the table.

ACT V, Scene 5 SANDER US: What? Are you sitting under the table, Mr. Burgomaster? HERMAN: Oh, gentlemen! I never sought to be a burgomaster; why did you bring this misfortune upon me? ABRAHAM: You certainly did accept it; just come out from there, Mr. Burgomaster. We've come to point out the great wrong you've committed against the foreign ambassador, whom you so scornfully dismissed; over which the city could suffer dire consequences. We thought Mr. Burgomaster had a better understanding of Jus publicum 36 and protocol. HERMAN: Oh, gentlemen! You can depose me, then I'll be saved from this burden that I'm too weak to bear, and the foreign ambassador can also have satisfaction. SANDER US: Far from it, Mr. Burgomaster, that we would depose you; you must come with us immediately to city hall to deliberate with the Burgomaster's Council on how this offence can be rectified. HERMAN: I won't go to city hall, if you dragged me there by the hair; I will not be burgomaster, I didn't seek to be it; you can kill me instead. By God and my honor I am a pewterer, and I will die a pewterer. SANDER US: Will you then mock the entire council? Listen, Monfrere, did you not accept the office of burgomaster? ABRAHAM: Of course, that's a fact which we've already reported. SANDER US: We shall certainly be advised about this; the entire senate will not allow itself to be disgraced in this way. Scene 5 Herman - Henrich HERMAN: Henrich! HENRICH: Mr. Burgomaster. HERMAN: What do you think these councilmen will do to me? HENRICH: I don't know, m'Lord. I clearly saw that they were very angry; I wonder how they dared to use such fresh mouths in the burgomaster's own room. If I were burgomaster, I'd have sure told them, in a nice way, "Hold your tongues, fools! Put your fingers on the floor and smell whose house you're in!" 36. Jus publicum: "public law."

49

The Political Tinker HERMAN: I wish you were burgomaster, Henrich, I wish you were! Oh, oh, oh! HENRICH: If I may interfere with m'Lord's business, then I'd humbly ask for one thing; namely, that from now on, people call me von Henrich. HERMAN: Oh! You shameless rascal! Is this the time for such nonsense? Now, when I'm enveloped by utter misfortune and troublesome proceedings. HENRICH: Upon my word, I don't want it out of ambition, but only to get some respect around the house from the other servants, especially from Anneke who ... HERMAN: If you don't shut up, Henrich, I'll break your neck. HENRICH: Mr. Burgomaster! HERMAN: Can't you help me straighten this out, you dumb dog? See here, clear up this business for me, or you're really going to get it. HENRICH: It's strange that m'Lord can want that from me; he who is such a shrewd man, who solely for his wisdom alone, was elected to this high office. HERMAN: Will you mock me on top of everything else? [He grabs a chair to hit him. HENRICH runs out.]

Scene 6 HERMAN VON BREMENFELD: [Alone.] [He sits down with his hands under his chin and thinks for a long time. Agitated, he suddenly jumps up.] Was that a knock at the door? [He tiptoes quietly to the door, but sees no one. He sits down to think again, begins to cry, and dries his tears with the papers. Agitated again, he jumps up, as in a frenzy, and shouts.] A whole bundle of recommendations from the Council! The master of the hatters! The master's opponent! Grievances in twenty points! The sailors' uprising! The foreign president! The accusation of the Council! Threats! Isn't there any rope around here? Yes, I think there's some behind the stove. [Finds the rope and ties a noose.] It was predicted that my political studies would elevate me. That prophecy will come to pass if the rope will hold. So let the Council come with all their threats; I'll have the last laugh at them when I'm dead. Though, there is one thing that I'd like, namely, to see the author of The Political Codfish hanging alongside of me

50

ACT V, Scene 7 with The Sixteen State Cabineti 7 and The Political Dessert dangling around his neck. [He takes the book off the table and tears it into pieces.] You scoundrel! You'll never seduce an honorable pewterer again! Well, that's a little comfort before I die. Now I have to look for a hook that I can hang from. It will be particularly noteworthy to say after my death: Which burgomaster in Hamburg was more vigilant than Herman von Bremenfeld, who in his entire career as Burgomaster, never slept for one second? Scene 7 Antonius - Herman ANTONIUS: Hey! What the hell are you doing? HERMAN: I don't have in mind to do anything; but to avoid doing it, I'll hang myself. If you want to keep me company, it will be my pleasure. ANTONIUS: No, I don't believe I will; but what brought you to such a desperate resolution? HERMAN: Listen, Antonius, it won't do any good to talk about it. I'm going to hang; if it doesn't happen today, it'll happen tomorrow. I would ask though, before I die, that you pay my respects to Mrs. Burgomaster and the Young Lady, and tell them to write this on my headstone: Stand still, wanderer! Here hangs Burgomaster von Bremenfeld, Who in his entire Career as Burgomaster, not one Minute slept. Go forth and do likewise. Perhaps you don't know, dear Antonius, that I've become a burgomaster, that I've received a position wherein I don't know what black or white are, and wherein I find myself completely incompetent; for I've learned through several misfortunes that have already befallen me, that there is a great difference between being a magistrate and debating about magistrates. ANTONIUS: [Laughs.) 37. The Sixteen State Cabinets: probably refers to a number of political writings that gave an overview of the workings of the various major European states.

5I

The Political Tinker HERMAN: Don't laugh at me, Antonius, you shame yourself by it. ANTONIUS: [Laughs.] Now I see how everything hangs together: I was just in a tavern where I heard people laughing about an intrigue, they were playing on Herman von Bremen, in that some young men had made him believe that he was made a burgomaster to see how he'd handle the office. It pained me greatly to hear that, so I ran right here to warn you about it. HERMAN: Oh! Then I'm not burgomaster? ANTONIUS: No, it's a pure fabrication to cure you of your madness of debating high issues that you don't understand. HERMAN: Oh! Then it isn't true, either, about the foreign president? ANTONIUS: No, not at all. HERMAN: Not even about the master of the Hatters' Guild? ANTONIUS: It's all made up. HERMAN: Not even about the sailors? ANTONIUS: Not a bit. HERMAN: Then I'll be damned if I'm going to hang! Geske! Engelke! Peiter! Henrich! Get out here, all of you! Scene 8 Herman -Antonius - Geske - Engelke Peiter- Henrich HERMAN: My dear wife, start your work again; our burgomastership is at an end. GESKE: At an end? HERMAN: Yes, yes, at an end; some rogues had conspired to mock us. GESKE: Mock us! Then they're going to get it, those who mocked us, and you with them. [She slaps his face. HERMAN whollops her a good one.] Oh, my dear, husband, don't hit me any more! Oh, my dear husband, stop! HERMAN: You must know, wife, that I'm no longer a politician and, therefore, won't be counting to twenty any more when you slap me. From now on I'm going to lead a new life, throw my books into the fire, and hereafter concentrate solely on my trade. And I warn you, once and for all, that if I catch anyone reading a political book or bringing one into my house, then it'll mean trouble for you! HENRICH: Well I don't have to worry about it then, Mr. Burgomaster, for I can neither read nor write. HERMAN: Let's just get rid of the titles and call me pure 52

ACT V, Scene 8 and simple "Mister," like before; I am a pewterer and I'll die a pewterer. Listen, Monsieur Antonius, I know that you've been attracted to my daughter. My earlier capriciousness has hindered your love. Now you have both her father's and mother's consent, so if you're of the same mind and resolve, all obstacles are eliminated. ANTONIUS: Yes, I'll hold to my resolve, and ask that she may be my wife. HERMAN: Do you also give your consent, Geske? HENRICH: That question doesn't need asking; Mrs. Burgomaster has always been for that match. GEsKE: Be quiet, dunce, I can answer for myself; my dear husband, I gave my consent to that three years ago. HERMAN: I won't ask you, Engelke. I know that you love him as much as a rat loves cheese; isn't that right? HENRICH: Answer, Young Lady. HERMAN: If I knew for sure that you're bestowing these titles in malice, you'd be in real trouble. HENRICH: Believe me that I'm not, Master; it's just hard to get out of the habit that fast. HERMAN: You two give each other your hands. So! Now it's settled; we'll have a wedding tomorrow. Henrich! HENRICH: Mr. Burgomaster! Excuse me. Yes, Master? HERMAN: You shall burn all my politicial books; for I can no longer bear to look at that which caused me to indulge in such fancies. We oft condemn a leader's part, But we stand ineffectual; 'Tis ease to read an ocean chart, But not to steer a vessel. From a book on politics We can learn to reason. To lead a country, make it tick, Needs wisdom, though, well seasoned. Each workingman should recognize From watching this diversion; Though he may leaders criticize, He knows not how to govern. A tinker cannot best perform As mayor by instinct, nor Can a statesman quick transform Himself into a tinker. THE

END

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Jean de France OR HANS FRANDSEN

A COMEDY IN FIVE ACTS BY LUDVIG HOLBERG

J

EAN DE FRANcE was the third of the first five plays published in 1723. It was undoubtedly written early in 1722, very likely having been completed on the eighteenth of May (the date of Jean's final departure from Copenhagen), and was first performed to great success in the fall of the same year. Translated into German by Georg August Detharding in 1741, it was one of the three Holberg comedies whose popularity swept throughout northern Europe during the eighteenth century (the other two being The Political Tinker and Jacob von 1)rboe). When Holberg wrote his first five comedies, he purposefully tried a variety of settings and styles: a German city, a provincial Jutlmtd-town,-aZealandfanntown,-and-Copenhagen.One-p:r-incipal character was a peasant, two were craftsmen, and two were middle class citizens. Jean de France is the first Holberg comedy set in Copenhagen, and the first one to use the commedia dell'arte format where clever servants invent intrigues to trick a stubborn father into allowing young lovers to marry. The subject of Danish youths' traveling to foreign cities had already been satirized by Christian Falster (169D-1752) in a poem, "Den daarlige Udenlandske Rejse og modige Hjemkomst" (The dreadful foreign journey and sorrowful homecoming), published in 1721. But Falster's only influence on Holberg seems to be the story's ending, when Jean's affectation is completely unchanged. It is also evident that Holberg was influenced by Moliere's L'Avare for the incident in Act V where Pierre unrelentingly gushes forth with the slanderous names being heaped upon Jean; as well as for the name "LaFleche." But the intrigue is completely original and Jean's character is unique to its day in dramatic literature. The latter is especially significant because the affectation of foreign manners has since been regularly ridiculed in world dramatic literature, including in America's first comedy, Royall Tyler's The Contrast (1787). The theme of this particular comedy is also noteworthy when remembering that Holberg spent much of his own youth traveling abroad. In fact, Holberg began his first foreign sojourn at age twenty, the exact same age as Jean! Holberg also brought back foreign ideas to Denmark, but that is where the similarity ends. Jean was impressed with his ability to spend fifteen hundred rixdollars, or about forty-five hundred dollars today, in so short a time; he was impressed by the fads and notions of the French aristocrats. Holberg, on the other hand, traveled in poverty, talked to philosophers and immersed himself in current books and educational philosophies. He returned to Denmark, not with silly fads and obnoxious behavior, but with the ideas of the

57

Jean de France

Enlightenment, which he presented in his reasonable manner. He did not reject his provincial native land, he sought to make his Danish home an honorable member of the European community. Finally, in his later life when he helped to reestablish the Som Academy and bequeathed it his entire fortune, he stipulated that students not be allowed foreign travel until they had completed three years of university education either at Som or Copenhagen. Jean de France also seems very modem in its support of women's rights (Act II, Sc. 3). Holberg had already written on this cause in both his "Introduction to the science of natural law and the law of nations" (1716) and "Zille Hans Dotter's defense of womankind" (1722). His ability to incorporate his opinion on many such- topics,- from current-fads-and societal-conven-tions-to lamentations on the futility of war, is found in many of the comedies. Jean de France has been criticized for having the same basic plot as Erasmus Montanus, which is usually deemed to be of higher literary merit. That criticism may seem apt when the two plays are merely read. But as Holberg stated himself "Academic critics censure the very soul of comedy. Academic critics should be ... more concerned with end results" (Epistle 66). Jean is rich in theatricality and is a treasure chest of comic opportunities for the stage. Erasmus is first a great comedy for the intellect; Jean is first a great comedy for the senses.

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Characters in the Comedy

JERONIMUS, a Citizen ELSEBE T, his Daughter FRANDS, his Neighbor MAGDELONE, Frands' Wife JEAN/HANS, Frands' Son PIERRE/PEER, Jean's Servant ANTONIO S, Elsebet's Sweetheart ESPEN, a Servant MARTHE, a Maid AR V, a Stableboy A Gambler A Boy

Jean de France OR HANS FRANDSEN BY L UDVIG HOLBERG

ACT I Scene I feronimus -

Frands

JERONIMUS: Good morning, neighbor. What are you doing up so early? FRANDS: I had business at Gammeltorv. JERONIMUS: What's new in the marketplace? FRANDS: Not much, except that they were hauling some man off to debtor's prison. JERONIMUS: That's nothing new. Why were they jailing him? FRAN OS: Someone said that he couldn't pay his debts. JERONIMUS: That's nothing new, either. FRANDS: It seems he took a long trip abroad and ran up an enormous stack of bills. JERONIMUS: That's not new either. Just listen, dear neighbor, look at your own predicament. You have a son ... I won't say any more. I just hope that my prediction doesn't come true. What happens to him affects me as much as it does you, for I've promised him to my daughter Elsebet; but you wouldn't listen to my advice. He had to have his way. He wants to travel, he gets to travel, even though he's only a nineteen-year-old child! FRANDS: May I remind you, neighbor, he turned twenty last January. JERONIMUS: I can remember when he was born; it was the same time my beloved Birthe died. But that doesn't matter. Even if he is twenty years old, isn't it foolish to let him go running off to foreign countries? FRANDS: I won't argue about whether or not it's dangerous, but I know that most young men in this country go abroad at his age. JERONIMUS: You're absolutely right, dear neighbor, and most of them end up just like that fellow you saw in the

6o

ACT I, Scene

I

marketplace-ready to be hanged for their debts. Why shouldn't your son hang as well as another? FRANDS: There's no danger of that; before he left he assured me of his honorable intentions. JERONIMUS: Don't they all! I don't know how he's living in Paris, but I know one thing: I don't like his letters at all! He calls my daughter Elsebet "Isabelle." He calls himself "Jean," and he calls me "Jerome"! He can call himself what he pleases. He can name himself Fairfax 1 or Sultan if he wants, as long as he calls my daughter and me by our Christian names! FRANDS: My dear neighbor, that's the style! Young men do that-ro-shuwuffthat they've-learned :r fureigrdangua~e.JERONIMUS: I don't dispute whether or not it's the style. I merely ask, is it a reasonable style? If a Frenchman named "Jean" visited this country and changed his name to "Hans" when he returned home, wouldn't his countrymen think he was crazy? It's a wonderful thing to learn a foreign language, but not until we've mastered our own; it's a wonderful thing to visit foreign countries, but not until we've gathered some years and maturity, not until we've earned enough capital to live on our interest; or to learn a profession we can't learn here at home. But here it's become some kind of right for poor middle-class children to go on such trips at random and destroy their families just to learn a language, which for just a few rix-dollars they can learn from a language teacher at home! Most of them get spoiled and learn nothing but crazy fashions and luxuriousness, which they bring back to infect the homeland, and forget the good that our schools taught them. I can name at least a dozen fine fellows who studied for the ministry and delivered sermons that earned them great respect, even in Our Lady's Church and Trinity Church, which have educated congregations. Those same boys, following the fashion, traveled abroad and, following the fashion, threw away their Christianity, right up to the Catechism, threw away their money, and brought back all sorts of strange political ideas. They walk around with their Bonjour and Comment vous portez-vous2 starving themselves sick until they fall into melancholy and r. Fairfax: See feppe of the Hill, note 33· Sultan was also a popular dog's name.

2. Bon;our: "Good day." Comment ... vous: "How are

you?"

6!

Jean de France drunkeness! The parents see their children corrupted and themselves destroyed. So, go on and laugh at me, dear neighbor, but it's certainly true! If you saw all the money stacked in one place that our young people waste abroad every year, you wouldn't wonder why our country is so poor and powerless! Your son has already spent more than fifteen hundred rix-dollars in France. You say it's taught him to speak French, but you haven't said anything about how much Latin he's forgotten. The first things he's learned are foolishness and madness! I can see that in the letters he's written to me. What the devil am I going to do with French letters that I don't understand a word of? First I have to pay postage; next I have to give Jan Baptist a bottle of wine to translate them into German; and then I can hardly understand them! FRANDS: It won't do us any good to talk about it, neighbor; we can't change what's already happened. Besides, it's not my fault; my wife insisted on it. JERONIMUS: For shame! You should never put the blame on your wife! When you blame your wife you're merely blaming yourself. It's just as disgraceful for a man to say, "I'm ruined, but it's not my fault, for that's what my wife wanted." FRANDS: My dear neighbor! You're much too peevish! I'm not ruined yet, thank heaven. My son's coming home, so you can just be still. He left Paris four weeks ago; so let that be the end of it. JERONIMUS: End of it! Ha ha hal End of it? You'll learn, neighbor, you'll learn! Our Danish youth aren't like the youth in Holland. Remember Mr. Kalf's son in Zaandam who traveled abroad a few years ago acting like a prince entertaining the ministers at all the courts. But as soon as he came home he sold his horses, carriages, coachman, servants, all his extravagances, and put on his old Zaandam peasant clothes again. Maybe our cavaliers, our loafers, will do the same. Sure, sure! Just try to give your son beerbread soup3 for breakfast, like before, and see if he doesn't say, "I became accustomed to hot chocolate in Holland." Try to give him good Danish wheat or barley porridge and see if he doesn't cringe and the next night dine with a French chef! If they only brought back home one nation's madness it wouldn't be so bad; but they 3· Beerbread soup is made by boiling rye bread in beer.

ACT I, Scene

2

come home pieced together with all of the absurdities of England, Germany, France, and Italy! I'm not exaggerating, neighbor, because that's just about how our young cavaliers act when they come home. In the morning they want their tea or chocolate, "Like I had in Holland"; in the afternoon, their coffee, "Like I had in England"; in the evening they want to play l'hombre4 with their mistress, "Like I did in France"! When they go on an errand in town they want a lackey with them, "Like I had in Leipzig or Berlin." Before they go to church they ask whether or not there's music, "Like there was in Italy." They think everything that's foreign is stylish and smart, even when they're being hauled off to debtor's prison because they can't pay their bills! FRANDS: Now, now, neighbor, it will surely be better than you think. Hasn't it been a long time since you got a letter from my son? JERONIMUS: It must have been about four weeks. FRANDS: He'd already left Paris four weeks ago. JERONIMUS: That's possible. His last letter was postmarked from Rouen-or perhaps I should say "Ruin"; isn't that somewhere in France? FRANDS: Yes. From there he was going to sail home. JERONIMUS: Rouen is an ugly name. But here comes your stableboy, Arv, completely out-of-breath. I wonder what he wants. Scene 2 Arv- Jeronimus- Frands AR v: I swear I'd give a dollar to have my master at home; for Hans Frandsen has arrived and no one can understand a word he says! He no sooner walked in the door than he asked, "Where is mon pear?" I couldn't believe such a question, for who the devil can find a ripe pear in the month of May? I answered, "There aren't any in this country this time of year." He was bewildered by my answer and looked as though he'd never before seen a Danish orchard. Then he asked about his tray share mare. I told him he could surely find her either at Ulfeld's Place or Halland Square because that's where they keep the two tree-mares. Then he called me a dog's 4· ]'hombre: a game of cards. See The Political Tinker, Act III, Sc. 4·

Jean de France

name, "Garsong,'' and other names I'm afraid to mention. 5 FRANDS: What news, Arv? AR v: A whole sackful. FRANDS: Good or bad? AR v: Both good and bad. Hans Frandsen has come home from the West Indies, but ... FRANDS: The West Indies? AR v :·I believe it's from the West Indies because he's gone completely crazy; or he's mad, or maybe he's pregnant. After all, the first thing he craved was a ripe pear. FRANDS: Otherwise, how does he look? I mean, how is he dressed? AR v: He looks strange. I don't know if you've seen a Jack of Clubs, but that's how he looks. He has on a red robe and a hat on his head that's wider than six of mine. It's just as wide as the one that clown, Hans Wurst, wore the last time you went to see the Strong Man. He doesn't have to joke about it ahead of time; he'll be a cuckold soon enough! But I have to run and deliver this letter for him. 6 FRANDS: Who's the letter for? ARv: Someone named "Moons." FRANDS: Let me see that letter. "A Mons. Monsieur de Pedersen, Auditeur de la primiere Classe, in Copenhague." This must be for his good friend, Mr. Pedersen. You'd have run around for a long time looking for a man named "Moons." Where is my sonf AR v: He'll be here in a moment. Right now he's in the

5. Incorrect French will not be corrected, nor translated in this volume. "Danishized" French, such as that which Arv speaks here, will be Anglicized. The tree-mare, or wooden horse, was a torture device; see Erasmus Montanus, note 69. 6. The Strong Man was a real person who performed feats of strength and acrobatics. His troupe of variety artists performed in Copenhagen in 1722, where he rented the Lille Grennegade Theatre for a short time, but later had his own stall outside Nerreport. Hans Wurst was the name of the German clown character originally developed by

Joseph Anton Stranitzky (16761726) that combined the characteristics of Harlequin and several German and English clowns-a beer-drinking peasant with a Bavarian accent who wore a Tyrolean hat, red jacket, long trousers, white ruff, and a pointed beard. A Hans Wurst performed as a barker outside of the Strong Man's stall. The troupe left Copenhagen in September 1722. The three-cornered hat is a comic reference to a cuckold's horns; see Jeppe of the Hill, note 22. 7. A Mons . ... Copenhague: "To Mr. Pedersen, first class teacher, in Copenhagen." Moons: the Danish proper name "Mogens."

ACT I, Scene 3 Green Room curling his wig in front of the mirror. I have to run. Scene 3 Jean- Jeronimus- Frands JEAN: La la la la la la. I can't quite remember the bougre de pagrad that Monsieur Blondis recently taught me; pardi, It's a grand malheur. Mais voila mon pere et mon pere-inlaw; bon matin, Messieurs! Comment vive ma chere Isabelle~ 8

JERONIMUS: Listen to me, Hans Frandsen! I was born on Christen Bemikov Street, as was my father. There has never been an Isabelle or Fidelle in our house; my name is Jeronimus Christophersen and my daughter's Elsebet, as God is my witness. JEAN: It's all the same, mon cher papa-in-law. Elsebeth is Isabelle or Belle. However, Belle does have more panache. JERONIMUS: Anyone who calls my daughter "Bell" will have me to contend with, for it's a dog's name! If you can't call us by our Christian names you'll have to look for new in-laws. I'm an old-fashioned, honorable citizen and don't like all of these new fads. You'd better listen to me instead of your highfaluten parley-vouing. JEAN: Pardonnez-moi, mon cher papa-in-law, one never says, "new fads," c'est ne pas bon Parisian, c'est Basbreton, pardi. La la la la. That's the latest minuet, compose par le Sieur Blondis. Pardi, that is an habile homme, le plus grand dance-maitre en Europe. Isn't it "dance-maitre" in Danish, too? I completely forgot my Danish dans Paris. 9 JERONIMUS: It's a shame that you didn't forget every letter because neither the Danes nor the French can understand you. If you'd stayed in Paris another fourteen days I suppose you'd have forgotten your name! JEAN: Non, ma foi, I'll never forget so easily that my name is Jean de France, non pardi, non. 10 FRANDS: "Jean de France Nong Paradise Nong?" In Danish 8. bougre de pagrad: a dance, "The Devil's Solemn Step." grand malbeur: "a great misfortune." Mais ... Isabelle: "But there I see my father and father-in-law; good morning, gentlemen, how is my dear Elsebet?" 9· c'est ... pardi: "excuse me, that isn't good Parisian, it's Lower

Brittany-ish, by god." minuet ... Europe: "minuet, composed by Mr. Blondis. By god ... a talented man, the greatest dance master in Europe." (Mr. Blondy was ballet master with the Paris Opera.) ro. Non, ma foi: "Certainly not. 11

Jean de France is that Hans Frandsen? Neighbor, that language must be more ornate than ours! JERONIMUS: Instead of asking me such trivia, don't you think it would be better if you rapped your son alongside the head! JEAN: Messieurs! Je demande pardon, I must go, we Parisians don't spend too much time in one place. La la la la la la la. I must wander down to the square ala Greve. Adieu si long. 11 [Goes out.] Scene 4 Jeronimus- Frands J&RONIM us: Goodby:~ ueighb0r7 I- pray you'll forgive me for being so presumptuous as to speak to you; I hear your son will become a squire, 12 therefore my daughter and I are unworthy of your company. FRANDS: Oh, my dear, Jeronimus, don't be so hasty. Have patience for fourteen days, I hope by then this madness will have passed. You remember that Herman Frandsen's son was just like that, he killed everyone with his French jibberish? He was so caught up in it that he wouldn't even bed a girl if she wasn't French. He'd rather have eaten wooden-plug broth cooked by a French cook than Denmark's best meat soup. When he spoke to the highest officials, be even called them "monsieur/' just because it was that French jibberish, regardless of how many enemies he made. And finally, rather than step inside a Danish church, he would join the French Calvinist congregation on Aabenraa Street. But after he'd played that game out, that very same man became so agreeable, that he now burns every French book he can find, right up to the Bible. He fights with men merely because he thinks they have French-looking faces, even when they're Danish-born Christians. I hope in a little time my son will become like him. But he must have something to do. I think I'll get him a job at the Ministry of Finance, then he'll certainly have more to do all day than sing "la la la" and dance a Fool de Spain. 13 title "Count," therefore creating a pun on the French word "Greve." We have maintained the pun by translating the title as "squire." 13. "Fool de Spain" is a comic variation of folie d'Espagne, an intricate solo dance that was already old-fashioned by this time.

r r. Messieurs ... pardon: "I beg your pardon." ala Greve: "by the Place de la Greve;" which in Paris was near the town hall. Jean is comparing that square to one in Copenhagen, probably Nytorv. Adieu si long: "Goodbye for now." 12. The Danish "greve" is the

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ACT I, Scene 5 JERONIMUS: All right, neighbor, one thing you can't say is I'm too peevish. I'll be patient for fourteen days. If he improves I'll see that he and my daughter are quickly married and that he gets a respectable job, for to let him run around with those fellows at the Ministry of Finance isn't good, neighbori it isn't good. FRAN OS: I'll go along with anything you decide. I'll see you later. JERONIMUS: Goodbye. Scene 5 Magdelone - Frands MAc15Hol'i:E: Dh ·my aear liusoan-a! Have yot.n!eenHansFrandsen? FRANDS: All too much of him, God knows. MAGDELONE: You always complained that we did too much for our son. FRAN OS: That's true. MAGDELONE: Well now aren't we happy for him! FRANDS: That's the truth! A person can laugh himself to death when he looks at him. MAGDELONE: Oh, he's such a sweet boy. FRAN OS: That's true. MAGDELONE: Just think, how he's learned to speak French in such a short time. FRANDS: Incredible. MAGDELONE: I hardly recognized him when I saw him. FRANDS: Me neither. MAGDELONE: He's become so alive! FRANos: Hasn't he. MAGDELONE: And SO polite. FRANDS: Terribly. MAGDELONE: France can completely change a man. FRAND s: That's for damned sure. MAGDELONE: He called me "Mardarnme." FRAN OS: Did he? MAGDELONE: He said it's too common to say, "Mother." FRAN OS: That might be. MAGDELONE: But he called his sweetheart, "Mattress." I thought that was odd. FRANDS: How so? MAGDELONE: Maybe that's the fashion in France. FRANDS: Could be. MAGDELONE: Thank heaven he doesn't mind being seen with his old-fashioned parents.

Jean de France FRANos: That's true. MAGDELONE: Then why are you crying, dear husband? It must be for sheer happiness. [Aside.] The poor man thinks more of his children than he lets on. [To Frands.] I've also cried for joy. FRANDS: And I for sorrow! MAGDELONE: For sorrow? FRANDS: Yes! For sorrow! Can't an honorable father cry when he sees his son transformed into a phony French fool? MAGDELONE: What did you say, dumbox? Is my son a fool? FRANDS: Yes! Captain of all fools! MAGDELONE: Oh miserable wretch that I am! Why must I be plagued with such a boorish husband who c~n't ·even recognize quality? My only joy in the world is that sweet boy, who my wicked husband doesn't even like. Wild beasts love their offspring; even Turks and heathens love their children! You alone hate your own child, whom foreigners adore for his refinement. I shouldn't brag about my own son, but I don't believe there's a more refined boy iu Denmark than Hans Frandsen. If only you had common sense you could see it! FRANDS: Just wherein lies his refinement? MAGDELONE: It is therein because he is refined. FRANDS: I don't see any refinement in being able to go through fifteen hundred rix-dollars in so short a time. MAGDELONE: All you talk about is what he spent. You say nothing about what he learned. FRANDS: I see that he learned to dance a Fool de Spain, to sing a lot of love songs, and to corrupt his own language; for I don't think he ean now speak either Danish or French! MAGDELONE: I have nothing more to say to that annoying man; I swear I won't share my bed with you for one more night! FRAND s: Stay, dear wife, while I tell you something. MAGDELONE: Not one more word. FRANDS: My god, how quickly you can become angry. MAGDELONE: Let me go, I say! FRANDS: No, Little Magdelone, I didn't mean any harm. MAGDELONE: No more talk, I'm leaving. FRANDS: Stay, Little Sweetheart, and you'll hear what you want to hear. MAGDELONE: Nonsense! FRANDS: My sugar-pie. MAGDELONE: Rubbish! FRANDS: Ducky.

68

ACT I, Scene 6 MAGDELONE: Let me go! FRANDS: Little honey-bun. MAGDELONE: Away! FRANDS: Buttercup. MAGDELONE: Blah, blah, blah! FRANDS: My daffodil. MAGDELONE: Nothing! FRANDS: My heart's joy. MAGDELONE: To the devil with you! FRANDS: My perfumed posy. MAGDELONE: Go to hell! FRANDS: Oh, my dearest wife. Don't be so mad at your little husband. MAGDELONE: I won't be moved. FRANDS: At your own little Frands. MAGDELONE: Away! You deceiving snake! FRANDS: I promise I'll never tease you like that again. Did you think I was serious? MAGDELONE: You weren't serious? FRANDS: Serious! Do you mean to say I can't see my son's refinement as well as you? I merely said those things to joke a little with you. Believe me, I cried with utter joy. [Aside.] Oh God, have mercy on the man who must give up both his own and his children's welfare in order to have peace at home. MAGDELONE: Since you were only joking, my dear husband, I'm all right again. But here he comes! Scene 6 Jean - Magdelone - Frands JEAN: [Enters singing a French song.] MAGDELONE: Just pay attention to his whole manner of being and see if we don't have reason to love our son. FRANDS: You're right about that, Magdelone. MAGDELONE: My dear son! You mustn't stay away from your mama so long. I can't stand to be without you for a second. JEAN: What does Madam think of this Contretemps that I learned just before I left Paris? [He does a little dance step.] I don't believe, pardi, anyone can do it in this country. I can even do it in several far;;ons; for example, first [He does a slight variation.] and second like this. [He does another slight variation. ]14 14. Contretemps: a dance step. far:;ons: "variations."

Jean de France MAGDELONE: Isn't that a marvelous Caprio!, husband? 15 JEAN: It is not a "Caprio!," Madam! It is a Contretemps! MAGDELONE: I don't understand, dear son, you must forgive me. In the old days I learned a plain, simple minuet, but nothing more. JEAN: Can you still do the walk? MAGDELONE: Yes, maybe. JEAN: Then let us dance a minuet together so you can see which pas I can do. 16 MAGDELONE: I'm afraid it would be an odd dance. I'm too old to dance. JEAN: Don't be ridiculous! La tour seulement/ 17 MAGDELONE: No, my dearest son. I pray you, excuse me. JEAN: Ah pardi, je m'en mocque. La tour seulement/ 18 FRANDS: [Aside.] I couldn't be more pleased if someone gave me ten rix-dollars. I don't care if he makes her dance in front of the royal palace; she deserves it, for it was she who spoiled him! MAGDELONE: My dear son! Don't embarrass me! JEAN: No, sans fac;,on! It doesn't become you to be begged so long. La tour seulement/ 19 FRAN OS: [Aside.) This is great! MAGDELONE: My feet are much too stiff for dancing. JEAN: Pardi! mardi! peste! diantre! tete bleue! Now I'm mad! Can't you just give me this pleasure! La tour seulementP0 MAGDELONE: I'd rather do what I can before my son gets angry. FRANDS: [Aside.] Ha ha ha! JEAN: Papa, you must sing a minuet. FRANDS: What? Me sing? JEAN: And be sure to keep the right beat while you're doing it. FRANDS: You'll get upset anyway, my son; you'd better sing it yourself. JEAN: No, pardi, c'est impossible, how can I sing and dance dans le meme temps~ 21

19. sans fat;on: "Don't avoid the issue."

r 5. Capriol: actually a kind of jump that riding horses were trained to do. r6. pas: "step." 17. La tour seulement: "just the walk." r8. je ... mocque: "I don't give a damn about it."

20. Pardi ... tete bleue: Various oaths, "By god! Tuesday! Pest! Devil! By Jove!" 21. c'est impossible: "it's impossible." dans ... temps: "at the same time?"

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ACT II, Scene

I

MAGDELONE: If I can do our son the favor of dancing, then you can certainly sing for him! FRANDS: I don't think you're serious, wife. I won't make a fool of myself! I'm too old for that. JEAN: Tete bleue! j'enrageF2 MAGDELONE: My dear son! Don't be angry! You'd better believe he'll sing, even if it drives him crazy! JEAN: Oh, pardi, chantez donc. 23 MAGDELONE: You are the most annoying man in the whole world! JEAN: Viable m'emporte, si ... 24 [Crying, FRANDS begins to sing the "Night Watchman's Song", while JEAN and MAGDELONE dance.] No! That isn't a minuet, papa. Don't you know a minuet? FRANDS: This is the only one I know. MAGDELONE: Well then, sing it! It doesn't matter if it's old. [FRANDS sings and shakes his fist at them when they turn away dancing very absurdly. Intermittently JEAN yells, "La cadance, mon pere! La cadance!" 25 At the end of the dance, they exit.] FRANDS: [Alone.] Woe is me that I should have brought such a son into the world. I'd better get some advice before my entire house becomes a laughingstock! END OF ACT

I

ACT II Scene r Antonius - Elsebet - Marthe - Espen ANTONIUS: Oh, Elsebet, my most beautiful maiden. My heart is breaking from the unfortunate news that my rival has unexpectedly returned. ELSEBET: How do you think my heart feels? I'm the one who's supposed to marry the most abominable man in the world! I hated him even before he left because I recognized his conceited and repulsive nature. I could have easily predicted he'd go completely crazy if he traveled abroad. ANTONIUS: Would you then, my dearest maiden, actually marry such a man? 24. Viable m'emporte, si: "The devil take me, if ... " 25. La cadance: "The cadence."

22. i'emage: "now I'm really angry." 23. chantez done: "at least sing."

]I

Jean de France ELSEBET: Not if I have my way, my dear Antonius. But you know I have a father who's as hardheaded as flint; what he says, goes-even if it ruins his own family. ANTONIUS: As long as I live, I won't let that happen. ELSEBET: How do you intend to stop it? ANTONIUS: I said, "As long as I live." Before I allowed my eyes to see such a thing, I would kill myself. ELSEBET: And I promise you, you passionate man, that if you kill yourself, with that selfsame sword I will also end my days. So let it go at that, and instead think of some advice to save us from this imminent misfortune. Be assured that neither our parents, nor anything in the world, shall destroy the pact that has joined our hearts together. ANTONIUS: Now I am satisfied. MAR THE: You love-crazed fools! Instead of standing there making such a useless fuss, why don't you ask Espen and me to put our heads together? You know that nothing is impossible when the two of us scheme. Give us a little time to think about it, and in the meantime, wait outside. Scene 2 Marthe - Espen MAR THE: Espen, you're a conniving rascal, now we'll see what you're good for. EsPEN: Next to you, I don't think I can be beaten. MAR THE: Any scheme will do. It doesn't matter if you get hanged, for if you aren't hanged for this, they'll get you for something else soon enough. EsPEN: I don't think I'll be hanged too soon, at least not if I believe the fortune-teller who read my palm the other day. MAR THE: What did she predict? ESPEN: She predicted that I wouldn't be hanged until you'd been whipped and thrown in jail for at least three years. MAR THE: Rubbish! The old prophets are dead and the new ones don't work. EsPEN: That's what you think. That hag was so old she didn't have a tooth in her mouth and couldn't speak a word because of her age. MAR THE: Then how could she tell you that I'd be jailed? Liars have to have good memories. EsPEN: She explained everything with gestures. MAR THE: Nonsense! Let's get to work while we're alone; valuable time is flying by. EsPEN: I'm certainly not in the mood to pursue love just now, Mammeselle.

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ACT II, Scene 3 MAR THE: Shame on you, reprobate! You'll surely know when I'm in the mood. When I feel that urge I'll go to someone other than you. When I feel that desire I can arrange for ten carriages, if I want, with gentlemen's lackeys to come for me. The work that I mean right now is to come up with some intrigue. EsPEN: Now I know what you mean. [They pace back and forth.] MAR THE: Are you about finished with your plans, Espen? E s PEN : Yes. I figured out a way to weasel a lot of money out of old man Jeronimus. MAR THE: You dunce! That's so passe! You probably stole the idea from an old comedy. I have a plan that's better. Let's call the lovers back in and see what they think of it. Hey! Paris and Helen, come in and listen to this. 26 Scene 3 Elsebet - Marthe - Espen - Antonius ELSEBET: Here we are. Let's hear what you've come up with. MAR THE: We counselors have agreed, according to a majority of the votes, that since it is a terrible sin to rebel against your parents, it would be best for Miss Elsebet to dismiss this love from her mind and marry the man to whom her father has promised her. ELSEBET: You must be joking. MAR THE: Yes, I am only joking, for I don't believe you should align yourself with the whims of your parents. They arrange marriages only for their own interests, so they can align themselves with families who can advance them, so they often sacrifice their children's welfare for such arrangements. Young people, on the other hand, don't think about such things, but choose a partner for a spouse whom they wish to live with in happiness, and they love just for love's sake. Do you concur with me, Mr. Colleague? EsPEN: Yes, that's the way it is. MAR THE: If I were a judge in court with you, it would go with me as it does with those able judges who get a fool at their side-I'd always have two vota. 27 EsPEN: Do you understand Latin, Marthe? MAR THE: As much as you. and The Odyssey, as well as Holberg's Ulysses von Ithacia (!725). 2 7. vota: (Latin) "votes."

26. Paris kidnapped Helen because of her beauty and stole her away to Troy, thus starting the Trojan War; see Homer, The Iliad

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Jean de France

ESPEN: Then do you know what this means: Mulier taceat in Ecclesia~ 28

MAR THE: No, I don't. ESPEN: In Danish we say it this way: that sows, like you, had better stick to their spinning wheels and not trouble themselves with matters that the Lord created men, like me, to resolve. MAR THE: Watch your mouth, Espen! The time will come when society will consider brains more important than sex and ability greater than name. When our intellects are weighed I shall be elevated to the position of magistrate and you won't be any higher than a pancake! ANTONIUS: Please! Let's stop wasting time biCkering and get to the heart of the matter! MAR THE: Let Espen talk, he has some marvelous council for you. EsPEN: Don't plague us any longer, Marthe. Tell us what you've planned to help out these dear young people. MAR THE: First, you will admit that you're a dummy. EsPEN: Like hell I will. ELSEBET: Sweet Espen, for my sake, can't you admit that you're a dummy? EsPEN: All right! I'm a dummy! Are you satisfied? MAR THE: Whether you mean it or not, it's true. He meditated almost a half-hour like he was preparing a sermon, but all he came up with was a worn-out, moldy intrigue like all the old comedies are full of. On the other hand, here's my plan: You've heard that Hans Frandsen is so caught up in anything French, that if it were Parisian to walk around in broad daylight without pants, he'd do it! Now remember, I worked for a French chef on Willow Street for three years? Well I learned enough French for everyday conversation. I'll pretend to be a French lady who has just come here from Paris and has fallen in love with Hans Frandsen. What happens after that, only time will tell. Just follow my lead. Espen will be my valet. ELSEBET: We'd better get you dressed for the part, then! ANTONIUS: Sweetheart! You get the clothes for Marthe and I'll take care of Espen. EsPEN: You must no longer call me Espen. Refer to me as Mr. Valet. ANTONIUS: Then go, Mr. Valet! 28. Mulier taceat in Ecclesia: "Women should be silent in meetings." See r Corinthians 14:34.

74

ACT II, Scene 4 Scene 4 Arv - Antonius - Elsebet ARv: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! ANTONIUS: Isn't that Arv, Frands Hansen's stable boy? AR v: Ha ha ha! To hell with all madness! ANTONIUS: What are you laughing at so heartily, Arv? AR v: Oh, Monsieur Antonius, I'm ready to burst laughing! ANTONIUS: Where've you been that's made you laugh like that? AR v: I came from a party; you could have seen a strange dance there! ANTONIUS: Who was there? ARv: Hans Frandsen was dancing a folk dance with his mother while his father sang for them! ANTONIUS: Oh, what nonsense! AR v: I swear it's true. Shame on the missus, I didn't know she could dance so well. See! This is how she went and wiggled her rump. I wish I had a piece of red chalk so I could draw a picture of the whole scene, for I can draw. All the while Hans danced, he yelled at his father, "Lack-adance! Lack-a-dance!" 29 What that means only the devil knows. I could see that the poor man was singing against his will, for he sang, cried, and shook his fist all at the same time. ANTONIUS: But who could have forced him to sing against his will? AR v: Everyone in that house dances to Hans Frandsen's tune. He rules over his mother and she rules her husband. ANTONIUS: That fellow must be completely crazy. A Rv : I think he suffered a hard blow to the head in France. He calls me "Garsong," a dog's name. I swear if he calls me Garsong once more, I'll answer, "Yes, Sultan!" for I can prove by the parish records that I was christened Arv Andersen. But what can I say when his mother lets him call her "Mare," which is even worse. And when Jeronimus finds out what he calls his daughter, he'll thrash him! ANTONIUS: What does he call her? AR v: I'm afraid you'll tell someone else. ANTONIUS: I swear I won't. AR v: He calls her his "mattress!" It's true enough that a wife, in some ways, is a sort of blanket in bed, but it's not 29. "Lack-a-dance" is Arv's misunderstanding of la cadence, see note 25.

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right for him to call her either his blanket or his mattress. They aren't even married yet! But I've got to run. Scene 5 Elsebet- Antonius ELSEBET: It's terrible for parents to let themselves be dominated like that by a crazy child. ANTONIUS: My dearest maiden, the crazier he gets, the better it is for us; for the worst news I could hear is that he's improving. ELSEBET: Oh, my dear Antonius! Our happiness lies in the hands of Espen and Marthe. My father has a kind of absurd honor; even though he sees my misery right before his eyes, he won't break his promise. He says it's not for the sake of the individual, but for the family. ANTONIUS: But what if Marthe and Espen's scheme fails and Jeronimus won't go back on his word? What will you do then? ELSEBET: Oh, my dear Antonius! Stop plaguing me with such questions. I've already declared once that I would rather ... But here comes my father. Run away as fast as you can! Scene 6 Jeronimus - Elsebet JERONIMUS: Listen, Coquette! Don't you have more to do than stand in the doorway watching young men stroll by? I am Jeronimus, and not Frands Hansen. Don't think you're going to get the freedom he gives his children. If I had a son like Hans Frandsen, I'd twist his head off. ELSEBET: But, my dear Father, since he is so offensive, why will you force me to marry him? JERONIMUS: Will you argue, too? Will you also ask why I do things? It should be enough for you that I want it. At the very least, through it we'll become related to a very fine family. That's a relationship that shouldn't be thrown away, for Frands Hansen is not only honorable, but is quite wellto-do. Besides that, I've given my promise and I won't break it. ELSEBET: But, dear Papa ... JERONIMUS: "Papa! Papa?" Are you going to speak French, too? If you come with that papa again, the laundry-stick won't be too good for you! What else do you have to say? ELSEBET: Just this, Frands Hansen is a respectable man, but

ACT III, Scene

I

it's not him I have to marry; it's his son, who is an offensive person, about whom I've already heard so many crazy stories since he came home. JERONIMus: It's clear you're trying to weasel news out of me. Inside! Get in to your embroidery, that's certainly good enough for you. "I've already heard so many stories!" It's clear! You are trying to weasel stories out of me! I'll tell you one thing, Elsebet, you're going to be married this coming week. I'm a man who's strong enough to keep both you and Hans Frandsen in line! Now get inside! END

OF ACT

II

ACT III Scene r Jean - Pierre

JEAN: Pierre! PIERRE: Que voulez-vous? 30 JEAN: Fripon! maraud! coquin! bougre! badaud! faineant! Que la peste t'etouffe, que le Diable t'emporte, t'enleve, t'abime, que le diantre. 31 PIERRE: Why is Monsieur swearing at me so much? JEAN: How could you have lived with me dans Paris for fifteen weeks and not learned comment to answer your master when he calls you? You should say: Monsieur! Mais non pas: Que voulez-vous? 32 PIERRE: That's such a minor thing, it's not worth so much swearing. JEAN: That's true. But it isn't so much to curse at you; I need to practice my French. Last month I received a list of forty new curses from my Maitre de langue. I can't rehearse them without you. 33 PIERRE: Monsieur can rehearse his curses on himself! Just say me instead of te, then you can practice the language and no one is offended. 34 JEAN: Oh, Pierre. I wish we were back in Paris again. Dieu donne, que nous etions dans Paris again. Now I can't remember the French word for "again. " 35 32. comment: "how." Mais ... vous: "But not, what do you

30. Que voulez-vous: "What do you want?" 31. Fripon .. . que le diantre: "Rascal, scoundrel, rogue, ass, cheeky, ne'er-do-well, may the plague strangle you, the devil take you, abduct you, devour you, devil."

want."

33· Maitre de langue: "language teacher." 34· te: "you." 35· Dieu ... Paris: "God grant, that we were in Paris."

77

Jean de France PIERRE: It's "aussi." JEAN: That's right, ''aussi." Feel free to correct me whenever I make a mistake. Don't you wish we were in Paris aussi? PIERRE: Oh sure, whoever hungers, thirsts, and freezes gready there, suffers no hardship. JEAN: Oh! Bougre! crasseux! gourmand! You speak as though you were born ala Place Maubere or ala PontNeuf, comme un crocheteur, un decrotteur des souliers, un porteur d'eau. 36 PIERRE: Monsieur talks like un foil, un bete, un fool, un sot, un bouffon, as if you were born dans un madhouse or a la un thedtre. 37 JEAN: What did you say, bourreau~ 38 PIERRE: You shouldn't get so upset, Monsieur, I was just practicing my French. JEAN: Of course. Ecoutez, Pierre.39 PIERRE: Monsieur! JEAN: I can't stand to see all these Danish faces. PIERRE: But Mademoiselle Isabelle has a pretty face. JEAN: It's pretty enough, but it's so Danish; c'est une visage ala Danois, ala Copenhague, pardi. But I could get used to her face if she didn't speak Danish. 40 PIERRE: Has Monsieur talked with her since he's come home? JEAN: Oui pardi si fait, but do you know what she said? 41 PIERRE: Non pardi non fait. 42 JEAN: She said, "Welcome home again, Hans!" Oh! When I think about it my stomach leaps to my throat! If she were a Frenchwoman she would have said, "Je suis ravi de vous voir, mon cher m'amie Jean de France." 43 PIERRE: Oui pardi si fait. The French are immensely polite in these matters, even though they don't mean anything by it. 36. Bougre! crasseux! gourmand: "Ass! skinflint! glutton!" laPlace Maubere: a square on the Left Bar!k. la Pont-Neuf: a bridge over the River Seine. comme ... d'eau: "as a porter, a shoe-shine, a water bearer." 37· un fou ... bouffon: "a lunatic, an idiot, a fool, a buffoon." dans ... theatre: "in a ... at a theatre." 38. bourreau: "executioner."

39· Ecoutez: "Listen." 40. c'est . .. pardi: "It is a

Danish face; a Copenhagen face, by god." 4r. Oui ... fait: "Yes, by god, of course." 42. Non ... fait: "Of course not, by god." 43· fe suis ... m'amie: "I am delighted to see you, my dear friend."

ACT III, Scene

I

JEAN: Mademoiselle Isabelle parle comme une blanchiseuse dans Paris. 44 PIERRE: Qui pardi si fait. JEAN: Comme une fripiere. 45 PIERRE: Qui pardi si fait. JEAN: Comme une femme, qui clame: Renet, renet! dans les rues. 46 PIERRE: Qui pardi si fait. JEAN: Comme une femme, qui va avec un ane dans larue et clame: Lait, lait/47 PIERRE: Qui pardi si fait. JEAN: Pierre, we'll practice our French like this and not say one word of Danish together. PIERRE: Qui pardi si fait. What we can't say in French we'll explain by gestures and grimaces. Then we'll even look like we were born in France! JEAN: Pierre. PIERRE: Monsieur. JEAN: I'm going to eat dinner chez Peche. 48 PIERRE: Wouldn't Monsieur rather eat at Mister Jacob's? You get better food there for less money. 49 JEAN: Oh! At Mister Jacob's? The name alone proves he's a bad cook! If there weren't a French chef in the city I'd starve to death. PIERRE: That's true, the food does taste good when it's French, since they always give you so little of iti for nothing piques the appetite more than being served a tiny portion. JEAN: Do you know of any other French chef? PIERRE: Qui Monsieur! Si fait pardi, there's another named Cabo. 50 JEAN: Which of them speaks the better French? PIERRE: They both speak about the same. It's a plaisir to listen to both of them, for when they do their best they throw in a few Spanish words, and that sounds very with an ass, screaming, 'Milk! Milk!'" 48. chez Peche: "at Peche," an actual French restaurant in Copenhagen. 49· "Mister Jacob" is probably the cook, Jakob Gotske, who lived on Dybensgade. so. "Cabo" was another French restaurant in Copenhagen.

44· Mademoiselle ... Paris: "Miss Elsebet talks like a washerwoman in Paris." 45· Comme une fripiere: "Like a junk dealer." 46. Comme ... rues: "Like a woman who screams, 'Rainettes! (Apples!)' in the streets." 47· Comme ... lait: "Like a woman who walks on the street

79

Jean de France beautiful. But who is that strange servant? I wonder where he's going? 51 Scene 2 Espen - Jean - Pierre EsPEN: I was told he lives around here. There I see two people, I can ask them. A vee permission, Monsieurs! Do you know any of the people on this street? 52 JEAN: Yes, I know myself, moi-meme. 53 EsPEN: That's a big deal, to know yourself, I don't think there are four people in the entire city who can say it! Isn't there a Danish Monsieur who lives on this street named Jean de France? JEAN: Je m'appelle Jean de France a votre tres humble service. PIERRE: I'll translate his answer into Danish. "My name is Hans Frandsen, at your service." You'll excuse me for having to explain my master's words, he can understand Danish well enough, but he has difficulty expressing himself, for he has just returned from living fifteen whole weeks in Paris, where he didn't hear a single Danish word. EsPEN: Wow! Fifteen weeks! You certainly have my respect. I've been in the service of the French lady, Madame la Fleche, for only two days and already when I speak Danish I find a French word or two in my mouth. But, if his name is Monsieur Jean de France, he's the man I'm looking for. Aren't you the man who just came back from Paris? JEAN: Qui, Monsieur. ESP EN: The one who lived there for fifteen weeks? JEAN: Qui, Monsieur. EsPEN: The one who lived in the Quarter of the citywhat's it called-it's right on the tip of my tongue. JEAN: Faubourg St. Germain. 54 EsPEN: That's the one! And on the street that's so crooked. JEAN: No, the street is very straight. EsPEN: Yes, the street's straight enough, but when you reach its end you do have to tum onto another street, I think that's what my lady said; and the street's name is ... JEAN: La rue de Seine. 5r. plaisii: "pleasure." p. Avec permission: "With permission." 53· moi-meme: "myself." 54· Faubourg St. Germain was

the Quarter where foreigners usually found lodging. It was also here that Holberg lodged during his first stay in Paris (r7r4).

So

ACT III, Scene

2

EsPEN: Yes, that's the street! The gentleman is supposed to have a servant-a very talented and honest fellow named Pierre. PIERRE: A votre tres humble service. EsPEN: I see that I've found the right man. I have a humble compliment to deliver to Monsieur from Madame la Fleche. JEAN: Oh! Is it possible? And how is the charming lady? EsPEN: She said that she had the honor of meeting you in Paris and that she came to Denmark primarily because of you. JEAN: Oh! La charmante Dame! I spent many wonderful hours with her in Paris. 55 PIERRE: Monsieur, you've never met the woman. JEAN: Taisez-vous, bougre! Don't you know it's a la franr;aise to answer that way? If I admitted that I didn't know her, he'd take me for a native Dane. You'll never learn to act refined. I should say that I respect Madame la Fleche above all others. Pardi, est-il possible that Madame la Fleche has come to Denmark on my account? I would ma foi travel to India, or even further, to Africa, just to kiss her beautiful hands. But how long ago did she leave Paris? 56 EsPEN: Twelve days. JEAN: Oh, est-il possible~ Just twelve days! May I have the bonheur to kiss her hands, and the honor to speak with her? 57 EsPEN: Nothing would please her more. That's precisely why she sent me to find you. JEAN: Oh, Monsieur! Please arrange our meeting and, here, do not refuse these two ducats as a sign of friendship. EsPEN: My lady, Madame le Fleche, is one of the wealthiest women in France, so I am not in need of your gift; but so you don't think of me as aloof by refusing it, I will accept it. On the other hand, I hope Monsieur is not above accepting this small gift from my lady-a portrait painted by Monsieur Cabbage Banal, France's greatest miniature artist. And since it became the highest fashion, just before she left Paris, for a cavalier to wear one of these around his neck to show reverence for his lady, my lady hopes that Monsieur will wear this around his neck for her sake. JEAN: Look! I shall quickly dans votre presence hang it around my neck. May I show that hardiesse and be so il possible: "is it possible." 57· bonheur: "good fortune."

55. Oh! La charm ante Dame! "Oh! The charming lady!" 56. Taisez-vous: "Shut up." est-

8I

Jean de France impudent to take the liberte to ask, just how can Madame la Fleche speak with you? After all, you do not understand French. 5 8 EsPEN: Oh, Madame la Fleche, can operate anywhere in the world! She primarily speaks Parisian, her mother tongue, but also German, Italian, Dutch, Polandish, Prussian, and a lot of Danish that she picked up along the way. JEAN: It's a great complaisance, that such a distinguished lady would take the trouble to learn this low language. Since you were born in Denmark, does she speak Danish to you? EsPEN: No, Monsieur! I was not born in Denmark! Only my enemies say that. I was born more than fitty miles south of Randers, where we are considered a branch of the Holy Roman Empire. So I'm Roman, not Danish, which I humbly request Monsieur to explain to everyone he knows. 59 JEAN: It would be a shame to do otherwise; for it's evident by Monsieur's manieres and accent that he is not Danish. Tell me, where might I have the good fortune of seeing Madame la Fleche? 60 EsPEN: Anywhere Monsieur likes; otherwise she'll come by this way at three o'clock. JEAN: Then I will presentement take the opportunity to kiss her belles mains. 61 EsPEN: I'm sure she'll love that! JEAN: Je me recommende. 62 Scene 3 Jean - Pierre JEAN: Pierre. PIERRE: Monsieur! JEAN: What do you think of this portrait? PIERRE: If you didn't know it was a miniature, you'd think it was a picture cut out of a book and pasted onto a piece of wood. JEAN: C'est pourtant fait par le Sieur Cabbage Banal, le plus grand painter en Europe. 63 6r. presentement: "quickly." belles mains: "beautiful hands." 62. Je me recommende: "Give my regards." 63. C'est .. . Europe: "But it was, however, done by ... the greatest painter in Europe."

58. hardiesse: "boldness." 59· Randers is located in central Jutland, more than one hundred miles north of the present German border. The branch of the Holy Roman Empire referred to was the German Empire. 6o. manieres: "manners."

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ACT III, Scene 4 PIERRE: Just how does Monsieur know that? JEAN: Didn't you hear Monsieur say it with his own mouth? Don't you think he knows? I'll tell you one thing, men who were born in the Holy Roman Empire are no dummies! But here come those two old philistines again. I wish I were somewhere else, you can't have a cultivated conversation with them; all they talk about is the weather and the economy.

Jeronimus -

Scene 4 Frands - Jean -

Pierre

JERONIMUS: You'd better believe it, neighbor, I find that which is consumed by coffee, tea, and tobacco can amount to several kegs of gold a year. First of all, that money was all saved in the olden days. FRANDS: After all, it takes a lot of gold to fill several kegs. JERONIMUS: Don't I know it, neighbor. Respectable households can't manage with less than one hundred rixdollars a year. Now that's just one account, if we add in several others, you'll quickly understand what I mean. For example, just the other day, to be a little stylish, I went into a coffee house. It cost me twenty-four pennies for a mere few cups. Just see if I go back there too soon! FRANDS: True, it has been expensive. But now the prices are beginning to go down considerably. JERONIMUS: That's not true at all in tea houses, for I've noticed that here in Copenhagen, once prices are raised, they stay high even when the wholesale prices drop in half. FRANDS: Yes, you're right there, neighbor. But remember that we also have to eat. What's the use of having money if you don't use it? JERONIMUS: Can you get a good, natural taste from water and burnt beans? Try to give coffee without sugar to a baby. He spits it out! You say, perhaps, some people, like your son, Hans Frandsen, think it tastes heavenly. But I say that your son, Hans, and other such idiots, have forced themselves, in the beginning, to go against nature, merely because coffee is fashionable and because it's foreign. Later they think it tastes good by force of habit. FRANDS: Look, there's my son now. JERONIMUS: Yes, it's him. I'm not afraid to set the record straight. I'll tell him to his face. But what the hell is that trinket hanging around his neck? FRANDS: Maybe it's the style in Paris.

Jean de France JERONIMUS: I don't give a damn if it's fashionable. Only a fool walks around dressed differently than all his countrymen. FRANDS: Listen to me, son. What is that little saint-thing hanging around your neck? Everyone is going to think you're either crazy or Catholic. JEAN: Pierre. PIERRE: Monsieur. JEAN: Pierre! Expliquez cela pour ce vieux homme; je vais, vous me trouverez apres de Monsieur Peche. 64 Scene> Frands - Pierre - feronimus FRANDS: Peer! Why did my son run off so abruptly? PIERRE: He had something to do and asked me to make his excuses. FRANDS: What kind of medallion-ribbon was that around his neck? PIERRE: That is a portrait that he brought back from France. FRANDS: Is it the style to wear those in France? PIERRE: Good heavens, yes! Anyone in France who doesn't wear one is labeled a bumpkin and can never be admitted to the court. FRANDS: But the workmanship was so shoddy; I could certainly do better. PIERRE: Be careful what you say, Monsieur, you could get into a lot of trouble! That portrait was executed by Monsieur Cabbage Banal, the greatest artist on the faculty in Paris. JERONIMUS: I'll bet I can find that in an old chronicle at home. I could see that it was only an etching clipped out of a book. Listen, neighbor, your son is a fool! And you're not much better. Much as I favored this engagement, I won't sell out my only daughter to the likes of him. And you, scoundrel, if you want to stay healthy, tell us immediately who drove him to this madness! PIERRE: I give you my word that I don't know where he got that picture; but I swear under the portrait are the words, "Monsieur Cabbage Banal fecit. " 65 FRANDS: Shame on you, Peer, for being so coarse! 64. Expliquez ... Peche: "Explain it to the old man; I'm leaving; you can find me with

Mr. Peche." 65. fecit: (Latin) "created by."

ACT III, Scene 6 JERONIMUS: Give me your cane, neighbor! When your master asks who beat you, just say, "Jeronimus fecit!" [PIERRE runs out crying.] Scene 6 Jeronimus - Frands JERONIMUS: Listen, neighbor, I hope we can remain friends even though I've canceled the engagement between my daughter and your son. FRANDS: Oh, my dear neighbor, you promised to be patient for fourteen days to see if my son would come to his senses. If you break it-effso quickly-tlu~re'll-besuch gossip in-this city! For the sake of the friendship that has always been between us, be patient for that long. JERONIMUS: All right. Fourteen days will pass quickly; but I'm convinced that in that time, he'll only get worse, not better. FRANDs: I ask for nothing more than you wait the fourteen days. JERONIMUS: Well, I'll wait that long. FRANDS: Goodbye! I have to go home for dinner, my wife is waiting for me. JERONIMus: Prosit Mahlzeit/ 66 END OF ACT

III

ACT IV Scene r

Antonius - Elsebet - Marthe - Espen ANTONIUS: How's everything going, Marthe? MAR THE: It's going well enough, but you've come at a terrible time, for I've asked Hans Frandsen to come here. He hasn't even seen me yet, but he's as beguiled as a rat. What an ass! I got him to wear an old etching around his neck that I just cut out of one of his father's old books and pasted on a wood chip. ELSEBET: But how is it possible that he can be brought to such madness? MARTHE: Anything is possible for me now, for I made him believe that I'm a French lady, newly arrived from Paris. ANTONIUS: What's the point of debasing him? MAR THE: When I'm finished, your future father-in-law will 66. Prosit Mahlzeit: (German) "Bon appetit."

Bs

Jean de France rather see his daughter married to a chimney sweep than to the likes of him. I don't know yet, how it will work out for you and Elsebet. Right now I feel like the author of a comedy-while he's writing he has no idea how everything will work out. Oh! I see him coming! Quick, get out of sight! Scene 2 Jean - Marthe - Espen

A cette heure il doit venir; 67 war das nicht um drei Uhr, Monsieur d'Espang! dass he promised zu komment 68 JEAN: [On bended knee, he embraces her.] Oh, charmante Madame! Souffrez que j'adore vous! Souffrez, que je baise votres beaux mains. 69 MAR THE: Levez-vous, Monsieur! C'est trap de humblesse pour un gentil homme comme vous. 70 JEAN: Ah Madame! est-il possible, that I have the honor, le plaisir, contentement et joie to meet you in this countryf 1 MAR THE: I have come to see vous, mais je ne croyais pas, que vous etiez si change. Your present clothes are like that of an antique bourgeois. Ha ha ha! 72 JEAN: Pourquoi do you laugh, charmante Princesset 73 MAR THE: Rien, Monsieur de France! It's nothing. I laugh merely because of the joy of seeing vous, c'est toujours une plaisir de vous voir. 74 JEAN: fe vous rend grace, Madame! What do you think of our country? 75 MAR THE: Fort bon, Monsieur! The Danes are such a good people. They are merely ignorant of Parisian manners. 76 JEAN: Oui pardi si fait, Madame, vous avez grand raison dans cela. Dieu donne, que f'etais dans Paris again! Oh, MAR THE:

67. In the original, Holberg wrote this scene almost entirely in French. In order to make it understandable for a modem American audience, key phrases and sentences have been translated. Since Jean speaks this French/ Danish language throughout the play, this treatment is in harmony with the established convention. 68. A cette ... venir: "He sl{ould arrive now." war ... Uhr: (German) "Wasn't it three o'clock ... that he promised to come?" 69. charrnante ... mains: "Charming Lady, allow me to worship you; allow me to kiss your beautiful hands."

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70. Levez·vous ... comme vous: "Arise Monsieur! That is all too much humility for a cavalier such as yourself." 71. le plaisir . .. ioie: "the pleasure, the satisfaction and joy." 7'2· mais ... change: "but I did not believe that you would be so changed." antique bourgeois: "oldfashioned citizen." 73· Pourquoi: "Why." 74· Rien: "It's nothing." c'est touiours ... voir: "it is always a pleasure to see you." 75· fe vous rend grdce: "I thank you." 76. Fort bon: "Excellent."

ACT IV, Scene 3 excuse me, beautiful lady, I intended to say "aussi." Mais Madame, have you brought any new songs from Paris? 77 MAR THE: Oui, Monsieur! Here is the latest tune. [She sings a common folk song. JEAN: I have never heard such a beautiful tune! Oh, Paris, Paris! MARTHE: Why do you weep, Monseigneur? JEAN: Ah Madame! On veut me marier dans cette pays. 79 MAR THE: Marier~ JEAN: Oui Madame. MAR THE: Marriage? JEAN: Oui c'est veritable. I have been engaged to a girl; unfortunately her name is "Elsebet." 80 MAR THE: A devil of a name! Parlez-vous tout de bon, Monsieur~ Ah est-il possible~ 81 [She pretends to get sick and swoons; EsPEN rushes to her with smelling salts.] ESPEN: You can see how much Madame loves you Monsieur; she is sickened by sheer shock to learn that you will be married in this country. JEAN: If Madame dies, I will immediately kill myself. Monsieur Valet de chambre, inform her that I will give up my life before being married here. [Kneeling.] Ah belle Princesse! Etes-vous malade~ 82 MAR THE: C'est un Ubergang, Monsieur! levez-vous. 83 [EsPEN whispers in her ear; she looks very pleased.]

rs

Scene 3 Arv- Jean - Marthe - Espen AR v: [Enters and sits on the floor with a large piece of chalk

and draws the dance he saw.] This is how they looked when they danced-twisted like a pretzel! Here is Hans Frandsen-and there goes his mother. No. I have to draw 77. vous ... dans cela: "you are highly correct in that." Dieu ... Paris: "God grant that I was in Paris again." Mais Madame: "But Madame." 78. The folk song traditionally used is "Ma commere, quand je danse", according to Axel Grandjean, "Traditionel Musik til Ludvig Holbergs Komedier," Bilag til Ludvig Holbergs Comoedier, vol. 3 of fubeludgave af Ludvig Holbergs samtlige Comoedier, ed. by Fl. Liebenberg (Copenhagen:

Ernst Bojesens Kunst-Forlag, 188388), p. 12. 79· On veut ... pays: "My marriage has been arranged in this country." So. Oui c'est veritable: "Yes, it is really true." 8 I. Parlez-vous ... possible: "Are you serious? How is this possible?" 82. Etes-vous malade: "Are you sick? 11 83. C'est un Ubergang ... levez-

vous: "It's temporary, Monsieur, stand up."

Jean de France her again, I didn't make her rump wide enough. This is where his father will stand crying. [He stands up to examine his work. All the while, the others have watched, pointed, and whispered.] Ha ha ha! This is so damned natural, and the people so well depicted that you'd believe they were going to talk. Oh, good grief! There are people over there! Isn't that Jeronimus' maid, Marthe, who's put on a Watteau gown and is standing there talking to Hans Frandsen? Hey, Marthe! Where the devil did you get that gown? It's too early! The dog days surely haven't begun! 84 JEAN: [He raps ARv alongside the head.] No, you damned rascal! Do you dare to look a fine French noblewoman in the eye? AR v: Excuse me, Monsieur Hans! Truthfully, I thought it was Jeronimus' maid, Marthe. MAR THE: Ah, Monsieur! Faites le sortir! I am afraid of madmen! 85 JEAN: Get out, snake! Before I smash your head! [ARv runs out. MARTHE begins to examine JEAN's clothes. She whispers to EsPEN and they laugh. She looks at JEAN's legs, whispers to EsPEN and they laugh again.] JEAN: Pourquoi riez-vous, belle Madame/ 86 MAR THE: I must withdraw a little. Monsieur d'Espang, man valet de chambre, will explain. Excusez. Adieu! Scene 4 Jean- Espen JEAN: Monsieur le valet de chambre, Monsieur d'Espang! Why did your lady treat me with such contempt? What did she whisper to you? ESP EN: I would have given a thousand dollars if I'd only known earlier so I could have warned Monsieur. But it should be easy to correct. She whispered to me that even though she has great respect for your character, she despises the way you are dressed. JEAN: Have the styles changed since I left Paris? On my way home I stayed for three weeks in Rauen. ESPEN: Yes, Monsieur, you've discovered the problem. Madame la Fleche says that no Parisian cavalier has able to make you crazy. 85. Faites le sortir: "Get him away!" 86. Pourquoi riez-vous: "Why do you laugh?"

84. "Watteau gown," see The Political Tinker, note 2. The "Dog Days" were from 23 July through 23 August; old superstitions considered them dangerous and

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ACT IV, Scene 4 buttoned his coat in the front like that for at least six weeks. Coats are now buttoned in the back. It may seem a little uncomfortable before you.get used to it; but all refined men have houseboys, whom in France they call valet de chambre, who button their coats up the back for them. JEAN: Ah malheureux que je suis/ 87 EsPEN: It's quickly corrected, Monsieur! I'll help you out. JEAN: Vous me faites un grand plaisir, pardi. 88 EsPEN: Now doesn't Monsieur look magnificent! JEAN: Are there any other changes in the style that I should make? ESPEN: Yes. Fortunately, they're all easy to make. According to Madame la Fleche, all of the elegant men in Paris smear their mouths with snuff. JEAN: That will quickly be changed; I have my snuff box right here. I assure you, I'm ma foi never the last one to accept the new styles. Just before I left Paris I heard that several new styles were expected, but my papa was so insistent to have me come home, I could not wait for them. fe vous prie, Monsieur le valet de chambre, please make my apologies to Madame la Fleche-these styles were not dans ma foi in vogue when I left Paris, non pardi non. I have too great a respect for Parisian fashions to neglect them. ESP EN: The whole world must admit that Paris is a refined city. The whole world must accept Parisian fashions. If Parisians decided to walk the streets without their pants, all of the world would soon follow them. JEAN: I know I would,.ma foi, and right away. In the beginning everyone would laugh at me; but within a year it would be the fashion everywhere, for that's what I've often observed. But, Monsieur le valet de chambre, are there any changes with wigs, shoes, hats, or stockings? ESPEN: No, Madame says that your hat and wig are still all right. But Monsieur's jabot must hang down his back. JEAN: Oh, yes! That is stylish. Paris invents more wonderful fashions in one week than the rest of the world does in a . year! I shall, ma foi, quickly correct that. Why wouldn't Madame tell me herself? EsPEN: Monsieur knows French ladies! They're much too polite to point out faults in a friend; they simply smile and let others guess what they mean. But now everything is 87. Ah malheureux ... suis: "Oh, I am miserable!"

88. Vous ... plaisir: "You do me a great pleasure."

Jean de France perfect; it will be a pleasure for her to see you again at her home in one hour. I will personally have the honor of accompanying you. But first I must complete my errands. JEAN: fe me recommende, Monsieur d'Espang! ESPEN: Votre Serviteur! But a-propos, I have forgotten one little part of Madame's instructions, which is when Monsieur, with permission, yawns, do not cover your mouth with your hand; for it is very old-fashioned and is no longer done by the chic citizens in Paris. JEAN: Oui da. 89 ESPEN: Serviteur. 90 Scene 5 Jean - Pierre JEAN: [Dances and sings.] La la la la la la la. [Looks at his portrait.] La la la la la la. These new styles seem strange at first, but I already think that this is wonderful, fort commode et fort degagee. La la la la la. Mon ?ere et mon Pere-in-law will ma foi adopt them whether they like it or not; I refuse to live with an old-fashioned family. I'm sure I can convince my papa to put aside his old bourgeois clothing, but my papa-in-law, who believes religiously in wearing the same style as his papa and grandpapa before him, I'll end up, sans far;on, having to force. For it's not enough for me to be elegant. I will not be embarrassed because of my friends. Mais voila Pierre, qui vient. 91 PIERRE: Oh! Oh, Monsieur! If you don't support me I won't remain in your service. JEAN: Qu'as-tu~ Dis-moi, Pierre. 92 PIERRE: Oh! Monsieur Jeronimus beat me so hard I can barely walk. JEAN: Pourquoi dond 93 PIERRE: Because you wear a portrait on your chest. JEAN: Pardi! I'll teach him that he can't beat a gentilhommes Laquai. Est-il possible that he dared to beat you?94 PIERRE: Oui Monsieur. But excuse me, Monsieur has his 92. Qu'as·tu! Dis-moi: "What's wrong with you? Tell me." 93· Pourquoi done: "Why then?" 94· gentilhommes Laquai: "gentleman's lackey."

89. Oui da: "Yes." 90. Serviteur: "Your servant." 91. fort ... degagee: "very

comfortable and becoming." Mais ... vient: "But see, there comes Pierre?"

90

ACT IV, Scene 6 coat on backwards. Your mind must be on your marriage; reste un moment, while I fix it. 95 JEAN: Oh! You sot! badaud! bouffon! maraud! Can't you see that this is the latest Parisian style? And that Madame la Fleche mocked me because I buttoned my coat like-a Dane. 96 PIERRE: I never saw that style in Paris. JEAN: It changed while we were in Rouen. PIERRE: Oui da! In that case, I'd better change my coat. JEAN: Non pardi non, this style is only for gens de qualite. 97 PIERRE: Oh! So the rest of the world must suffer. But when Monsieur's papa-in-law sees it, he's going to be furious! JEAN: He must not only tolerate it, I'll insist that he adopt it. PIERRE: That will never happen. JEAN: He will. PIERRE: Comment donc? 98 JEAN: If I must, I'll use physical force. Madame la Fleche may laugh at the rest of Denmark, but she shall not laugh at my family. PIERRE: If Monsieur decides to do so, I will help him like a good servant. I just wish we had him now, while I still ache from the beating he gave me. But look! Here he comes all by himself! Ma foi fort apropos. 99 Scene 6 feronimus- Jean- Pierre JERONIMUS: Fourteen days will pass quickly. That's no problem. I'll manage that long so no one can accuse me of breaking my promise. But the boy won't change; he won't change, I'd bet my life on it. Oh, there he is; I'd like to take him to task while he's alone-while his loving father isn't around. Listen, Hans Frandsen, I want to talk to you seriously, once and for all. But what the hell am I looking at? Are you afraid that people won't recognize your absurd mind without advertising it with your absurd clothing? What kind of man can become so mad as to button his coat on backwards and change his back into a belly? Oh, I pity the honorable, old man who has such a deformed son! [JEAN 95· reste un moment: "hold still for a moment." 96. sot! badaud! bouffon! maraud: "stupid! gaper! buffoon! scoundrel!"

97· gens de qualite: "gentlemen." 98. Comment done: "But how?" 99· Ma foi fort d propos: "My word, how appropriate."

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Jean de France and PIERRE laugh.] Yes! You should laugh now, and everytime you realize what a fop, what a dunce, what a buffoon you are. JEAN: A-propos, man cher papa-in-law. Wasn't the coat you're wearing made years ago for the last Reformation Celebration? Ha ha ha! 100 JERONIMUS: Oh! You Hans Wurst! You fool! Wasn't your backwards coat made for Halloween or April Fool's? Ha ha ha! JEAN: Man cher papa-in-law, forgive me for laughing at your incredibly old-fashioned coat; but it can easily be corrected. You can get by simply by buttoning it up the back. This is how all the chic men dress in Paris. JERONIMUS: I'm the one who's crazy to stand here talking with buffoons. JEAN: Attendez, man cher papa-in-law, but you're, ma foi, not leaving here until you reverse your coat like mine; it's pardi the highest fashion in Paris. Madame la Fleche, who has just arrived from there, told me ... 101 JERONIMUS: [Raps them alongside their heads.] Oh! You scoundrels! How dare you lay a hand on an honest citizen? I don't care if it's for Madame la Fish, or Madame la Cabbage, or Madame la Sausage, or Madame la Lard! JEAN: Pierre ici! Tenez! Grab hold of the stubborn old fogy. I, ma foi, will not have old-fashioned in-laws! Take it of£! 102 PIERRE: Vitement, Monsieur/ 103 JERONIMUS: Help! Stop, thief! JEAN: When old men behave like children, they must be forced like children! JERONIMUS: Help! Help! Thieves! PIERRE: Be quiet! It's for your own good; after it's done, you'll thank us, just like a patient who doesn't want his tooth pulled. But when it's all over he thanks the doctor and kisses his hands. JERONIMUS: Get away! Help! JEAN: Be quiet, mon cher papa-in-law! Now you look pardi like an ambassador. Now your entire family must be converted; I'll take my mama-in-law and Mademoiselle Isabelle to Madame la Fleche so they can be taught the most fashionable Parisian styles for women. PIERRE: Monsieur, shouldn't we change his jabot, too? 102. ici! Tenez: "come here! hold him!" 103. Vitement: "Quickly."

roo. The Reformation Celebration took place in I? I?. IOI. Attendez: "Wait a little."

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ACT IV, Scene 7 JEAN: Oui pardi si fait. (He turns the jabot while PIERRE holds him.) JERONIMus: Oh ... Oh ... Help! Scene 7 Antonius - Jeronimus - Jean - Pierre ANTONIUS: [Runs on with his rapier drawn.] Thieves! Hoodlums! I'll teach you to attack an old honorable and distinquished man! (JEAN and PIERRE run away.) My dear Mr. Jeronimus. It pains me to see you treated so roughly. Look at how those scoundrels have manhandled and disgraced_this_distinguished,_honoxahle_man._llon~t_woJ:l:¥,

Mr. Jeronimus, I'll avenge this insult, even at the risk of my own life. JERONIMUS: Oh my dear Monsieur! You've saved my life, my honor! I'd rather die than have anyone see me this way. It would be a privilege for me to repay your kindness; if only you need my help, just put me to the test. ANTONIUS: Mr. Jeronimus, I see that heaven itself is smiling on me and preparing the way for me to declare that which I previously have not dared to speak. You have, sir, a daughter? JERONIMUS: Yes. What of it? ANTONIUS: I dare not speak more. Surely you can guess my intent? JERONIMUS: [Aside.) I can guess his intent. He probably loves my daughter. But I can't respond because I don't know who he is. [To ANTONIUs.) First I must ask, who are your parents? ANTONIUS: I am the son of Jesper Lorentzen of Snare Street. My father is well known by the good people of Copenhagen. JERONIMUS: [Aside.] He is well known! If this is Jesper Lorentzen's son, he has an honest father who is one of the most respected citizens in the city. He and I used to travel together in the old days, both to the Kiel and Viborg markets. 104 It would be a great pleasure and honor to have hini in our family. [To ANTONIUS.] You must speak to my daughter yourself. ANTONIUS: If that's the only obstacle, then I'll already dare to call myself your son-in-law. The truth is, over the years I haven't only fallen in love with your daughter Elsebet, I've 104. For Kiel Market, see Erasmus Montanus, note 47· Viborg Market was in Central Jutland.

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Jean de France also won her heart; but neither of us dared to say anything because of the arranged engagement between her and your neighbor's son, whose return grieves me no less than your daughter, and has brought us into complete dispair. JERONIMUS: If there are no more obstacles, that knot is easily untied. See! Here's my hand on it. No one shall have my daughter but you. But her comes Elsebet now; how convenient! Scene 8 Elsebet- feronimus- Antonius JERONIMtJS: Elsebet, do you know this man? ELSEBET: No. I don't think so, Papa. JERONIMus: Oh, yes you most certainly do; see how she blushes. There, there, relax; don't cry my child. I know everything. Come here, give him your hand, you're going to be his bride. ELSEBET: Oh my dear Papa! Why do you tease me like this? You've already promised me away to Hans Frandsen. JERONIMUS: That's all in the past. Right now I promise to arrange lodging for Hans Frandsen in jail. Your fiance, who was a witness to the humiliation he caused me, is going to help me. Go on now, give him your hand; look how innocent she is, as though she's never seen him before. Come, let's go home together. I'll have my revenge on Hans . Frandsen before the sun goes down. END

OF ACT IV

ACT V

Scene I fean - Pierre JEAN: Pardi, est-il possible~ Quelle bmtalite/ 105 PIERRE: Monsieur, it's our necks if we don't hide! Jeronimus is combing the city for you; and I hear that your father is just as angry as he is. JEAN: Isn't it terrible, Pierre, to live in a country where people are so quick to condemn. I thought man papa and papa-in-law would dance for joy when they saw me. PIERRE: I thought so, too. JEAN: Total strangers accept me more than my own parents. ros. Quelle brutalite: "How barbaric!" or, "What brutality!"

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ACT V, Scene

I

PIERRE: It has happened to Monsieur as it says in the old proverb: "A poet is without honor in his own country." 106 JEAN: I don't have to brag about my own refinement; it's enough that one of the most stylish women dans la France came here alone for my sake. PIERRE: It's incredible, Monsieur, all the way from Paris! If she'd been some Hottentot, Cossack, Calicuttian, Hussarian, Malabarian woman, or if she came from Tye, Beech Island, 107 Iceland, or Greenland, they might think that she rarely saw a refined man in the country she came from, and think that's why she must dote on you. But she came all the way from Paris, where everyone is stylish, where-erclinacy-seamst'resses-Iead-the-newspaper,--danse--t'he minuet, and speak perfect French-the three requisites of gentility. Even if Monsieur wasn't stylish, the whole world must acknowledge that he has the distinction of spending, in just a few short weeks, fifteen hundred rix-dollars in the most fashionable city in Europe and for that reason alone, must be esteemed by all good people. JEAN: Oui pardi si fait. PIERRE: For such expenses show that Monsieur has lived the elegant life in Paris. JEAN: Si fait. PIERRE: Not as a miser. JEAN: Vous avez raison. 108 PIERRE: Not as a scoundrel. JEAN: Si fait. PIERRE: Not as a pig. JEAN: Cela s'entend. 109 PIERRE: Not as a beast. JEAN: Non pardi non. PIERRE: Not as a lazy ass. JEAN: Non si fait non. PIERRE: Not as a dunce. JEAN: Peste, you can stop with the titles, I know exactly what you mean. PIERRE: I just want to say, Monsieur, that any honorable man who hears alone how much money you spent in Paris, in so short a time, must quickly conclude: this good Monsieur must be a fine companion; he must have learned ro6. See Luke 4:24 and John 4:44· 107. Tye is a province in northern Jutland. Beech Island, or Bog0, is a small island south

of Zealand. roB. Vous avez raison: "You are right." 109. Cela s'entend: "Of course."

95

Jean de France something for all that money, and therefore, not hesitate to give Monsieur his daughter. JEAN: But you can see, Pierre, what poor judgment my parents have. PIERRE: How can such simpletons, as they are here in Denmark, esteem you, Monsieur? Instead of prizing your qualities, they attribute you with all of the defects in the world. JEAN: What do they say about me? PIERRE: Monsieur, I'm embarrassed to repeat it. I almost got into trouble, recently, for your sake. JEAN: Ah dites hardiessement-you know that we Parisians never take such talk seriously. 110 PIERRE: Many call Monsieur Hans Lowllps, because you constantly kiss the hands of every woman. JEAN: Pardi! Quel sots! That's one of the most stylish qualites a refined homme can have. 111 PIERRE: Some are more base and call Monsieur Hans Wurst, Hans Dunderhead, Hans Monkey, Hans Buffoon, Hans Stocking-peeker, Hans Ballyhooer, Hans Rump-wiggler, Hans Stuck-up, Hans Cavorter, Hans ... JEAN: All right, that's enough! I don't feel like hearing any more. PIERRE: Hans Petit-maitre, Hans Dancer, Hans Frenchkiller, Hans ... 112 JEAN: Stop it, I say! Maraud! PIERRE: Hans Gambler, Hans Dandy, Hans Harlequin ... JEAN: If you don't shut up I'll split your head in two! Je t' ecraserai ton tete. 113 PIERRE: Monsieur asked me himself to tell him. But here comes Arv again. Scene 2 Arv- Jean - Pierre AR v: I wouldn't be in Hans Frandsen's shoes right now if you gave me two marks. Jeronimus swears that he won't go to bed until he has that scoundrel in the workhouse or debtor's prison, as it's called. It's absolutely unforgivable to treat an old man that way-especially one who's borne the burdon of taxes and civil responsibilities for so many years. rro. dites hardiessement: "speak freely." I I r. Quels sots: "What idiots." homme: "man"; or "cavalier."

Petit-maitre: "Dandy." Je ... tete: "I'll break your head into pieces." II2.

I I 3.

ACT V, Scene

2

Remember, good people, how he changed his clothes like this? I'll switch my coat. (Reverses his coat.] Now don't I look like a fool? Ha ha ha ha ha hal That's just how Jeronimus looked. I wouldn't walk down one of the main streets like that if you paid me two pennies, for the policemen would think me crazy and drag me off to the madhouse. (He puts his coat on right, again.] Magdelone is sitting at home crying as though she were beaten; but she deserves it. When his father refused to send him more money while he was in the West Indies, or France, or whatever it's called, she sold both her best dress and petticoat to get it for him. JEAN:-Howis l:"Verything-u homel ARv: (Scratches behind his ear.] Well enough, Monsewer. JEAN: Why do you scratch like that? Something isn't right! Tell me, how is everything? ARv: Good enough, Monsewer. Thanks for asking, but ... farewell, Monsewer, I have to go. JEAN: What do you mean by that "but"? If you don't tell me how it is, I'll, ma foi, beat you! ARv: Everything is exceptionally fine. But there's some hellfire, too. JEAN: Speak freely, Arv, and I'll give you a Livre. 114 AR v: I don't like liver, Monsewer; when it's served, I give mine to the dog. But, if Monsewer could give me the price of a beer ... JEAN: Here's two marks. That's what I meant. ARv: Gramarcis, Monsewer. 115 JEAN: [To PIERRE.] What a dumb beast that fellow is. He doesn't even recognize a Livre de France. AR v: I'll just warn Monsewer that he'd better get his boots greased. Jeronimus has ordered the watchmen and the police to arrest you. Your father has washed his hands of you and swears that you'll sit shackled in a hole for a full year. PIERRE: Will they want to lock me up, too? ARv: You don't have anything to worry about, Peer. They'll whip you publicly and then let you go wherever you want. JEAN: What's that racket out there? GAMBLER: (Offstage.] I'll teach that fellow to run off without paying. JEAN: Peste, what shall I do? That man's got me by the r 14· Livre: a French coin. ns. "Gramarcis" is a

mispronunciation of grand merci: "many thanks."

97

Jean de France throat! He won a hundred rix-dollars from me gambling; but I ran away when he turned his back, for I don't have any money to pay him with. GAMBLER: [Offstage.] He's either going to fight me or pay me my money. PIERRE: Oh! M'Lord! Nature calls! I have to run for a minute, but I'll be right back! JEAN: Will you wait, Maraud! Is it time to run off the minute you see I'm in trouble? PIERRE: Oh, my stomach! My stomach! I must have drunk too quickly after eating the cabbage; that's my trouble. [He runs and hides.] GAMBLER: [Offstage.] I'll teach him-what-it-means-to gamble with an honest man. JEAN: My dear Arv! Can't you help hide me? I'll reward you as though you were an honorable Homme. AR v: I have a blanket here, if Monsewer will let me wrap him in it. JEAN: It doesn't matter, Arv. Just so I'm hidden. [He wraps JEAN in the blanket like a sack and sits on it.] Scene 3 Gambler- Arv- Jean - Pierre GAMBLER: I swear I won't go to bed tonight until I catch him! It's not so much for the money, but for the bad example; others might learn from it and then run off without paying. [JEAN shakes under the blanket.] AR v: [Hitting him.] Be still, or you'll get in trouble. GAMBLER: Who are you talking to, friend? AR v: I'm talking to my sack. GAMBLER: Your sack? What's in your sack? A Rv : [Stutters from fright.] I swear I don't have anything in it but butter. GAMBLER: It's not possible to sit on a sack of butter. AR v: No, that's true, it's candles. GAMBLER: Candles? That's even more absurd. AR v: Right again. It's, uh, lace. GAMBLER: Then it must be one hell of a lot of lace. But lace isn't that solid, it must be stolen goods! AR v: No! It's green peas! GAMBLER: You're a thief, all right! Quick, let me see what's in the bag. AR v: I swear it isn't Hans Frandsen, Monsewer! I'll swear to it, for how could he fit in a sack?

ACT V, Scene 3 GAMBLER: Ha ha ha. I daresay, I'm just about to get my money. See here Monsieur Frandsen, are you there? I love this. You have two choices: either hand over the money immediately, or fight. JEAN: Monsieur! Je n'ai point d'argent. 116 GAMBLER: Monsieur, I don't understand French; we'll do our fighting in Danish! Draw your sword immediately-or pay me. JEAN: I'll give you my I.O.U., Monsieur. GAMBLER: No deal! Ready cash-or fight! AR v: I sure don't need to stay here any longer. [Runs out.] JEAN: Oh, Monsieur, just be patient; you'll surely get your money. GAMBLER: All I want is you to draw your sword! JEAN: Monsieur, here take my watch! GAMBLER: That's good. That covers about forty rix-dollars. Now hand over your coat, vest, and hat. Then I'll be satisfied. JEAN: I know you don't want to leave me here naked. GAMBLER: [Draws his rapier.] All of it! Coat, vest, hat out here, or fight! (JEAN throws his coat, vest, hat and wig to the GAMBLER.] GAMBLER: Monsieur, votre tres humble serviteur. I thank you for a well paid debt. [Exits.] PIERRE: [Returns from hiding.) Oh, Monsieur! What terrible thing has happened? You're as naked as a baby! What misfortune can't gambling cause? JEAN: Oh, what nonsense, I know that babies aren't born with pants, shoes, and stockings. You coward! If I gave you what you deserve, I'd split your head. Is it responsible to abandon your master like that? PIERRE: I truly wish I could have stayed and fought as gloriously as you, but I faint at the sight of a naked blade. JEAN: Allons, retirons-nous a ]a Madame la Fleche. She'll surely protect us. Of course you know where she lives? 117 PIERRE: Me? How should I know that? JEAN: What crass and coarse people we live among! Oh, Paris! Paris! I wish we were there again, Pierre. Mais voila Madame la Fleches valet de chambre Monsieur d'Espang. 118 us get away ... " II8. Mais voila: "Here comes

n6. Je n'ai point d'argent: "I have no money." II7. Allons, retirons-nous: "Let

99

Jean de France Scene 4 Espen - Jean - Pierre E s PEN : I've searched everywhere for Monsieur Jean de France, but he's nowhere to be found. I asked for him at his father's house, I asked for him at ... But there he is, and his servant! Monsieur! Madame la Fleche conveyed her deepest respect and delivered a letter to me just before she left. JEAN: Madame la Fleche has left? ESP EN: Yes, about half an hour ago. JEAN: Why didn't you go with her? EsPEN: She no longer had need of my services. JEAN: She left alone? ESPEN: Yes. Well, such as ladies travel alone. She took at least four lackeys with her. I was only hired temporarily for the sake of the language. Here's the letter she asked me to deliver to Monsieur. JEAN: [Reads the letter.] Pierre! PIERRE: Monsieur? JEAN: Luck is with us; we're high in the air! PIERRE: We're going to be hanged, then? JEAN: Madame la Fleche writes that she heard of my trouble and therefore refuses to stay here any longer, but I will be able to find her in Hamburg with Monsieur Gobere. She'll take me with her to Paris where she'll establish me as a gentleman! We must depart at once! Allons! Depechons! I'm ready as soon as we can hire a coach; for I'll just write a quick farewell letter to my papa. Adieu, mon cher Monsieur d'Espang. Je vous rends mille graces pour votre civilite. 119 Scene 5 Espen - Marthe EsPEN: Marthe! You can come out now! The fools have gone! MAR THE: Didn't it work out well? Don't you have to admit, Espen, I am habile. 120 EsPEN: I admit it, little wench. When luck favors your brains, great things can be accomplished by small means. Your machinations certainly weren't witchcraft; you didn't think of anything other than making Hans Frandsen even more French and mad than he was. But you can't take the n9. Allons! Depechons: "Let's go! Let's hurry!" fe vous ... civilite: "I thank you greatly for

your civility." 120. habile: "clever/ or "smart."

IOO

ACT V, Scene 6 credit for Antonius' good fortune; for he just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Sometimes one lays a plan wisely, and sometimes another lays a plan carelessly; but when luck or misfortune enter in, the first person might be considered a fool and the second a wise man, because the world examines only how a thing ends and not its means. MAR THE: That doesn't mean anything; I operate like the great generals: when they win a battle, they're hailed as great and clever men; even though, if you examine everything closely, the most insignificant thought, the least coincidence, contributes to their victory and honor. Most things in the world oper~te by dumb luck. ESPEN: Marthe, you speak like an angel! You're so wise, you could write books; if one gave you books, you'd be a second Berthe Tot. 121 MAR THE: Yes, yes, I've read in Seneca. ESPEN: I've certainly felt that sometimes. MAR THE: How so? EsPEN: Because when you cook for us, our supper is either undercooked or burnt. I like smart women, but I prefer them as wives or housekeepers. MAR THE: Such talk! But there I see the two old men coming. Scene 6 feronimus - Frands - Marthe- Espen -A boy JERONIMUS: No, I can't forget it, neighbor. You only hurt yourself by making excuses for such a prodigal son. FRAN OS: I'm not making excuses for my son anymore; for I don't think I'll ever see him again. Now I am only speaking for my own sake, for if you humiliate him, the whole family suffers. [A BoY enters.] FRAN OS: Go away boy! What are you doing here? BoY : A man on the street gave me this letter to bring to you. FRAN OS: (Reading the letter.] Madame la Fleche, a noble French lady, has found me too good to remain here in Denmark and has therefore taken me with her to France. I am accustomed to foreign refinement and gallantry, and 121. "Berthe Tot" is a comic rendering of Birgitte Thott, the Danish noblewoman who published a Danish translation of Seneca's writings in

1658.

IOI

Jean de France therefore cru.mot tolerate the base and coarse people who are in my family. I will never return. If you write me, address the letter ala Madame la Fleche, Dame tres celebre et tres renommee dans la France. The letter must be written in French, for I have decided that within a few short months I will no longer understand one word of Danish. My name on the letter must be written: A Monsr. Monsieur Jean de France, gentilhomme, et grand favorit de la Madame la Fleche, Courtisane tres renomee, dans la Gaur de France. If the letter is not addressed properly I will return it unopened. fe suis le V6tre. [ean de France, gentilhomme, Parisien. Copenhague, the eighteenth of Majus- 122 JERONIMUS: Do you still acknowledge him as your son? Now, am I not free to give my daughter to whomever I wish? FRANDS: Yes, of course. JERONIMUS: I have promised her to Jesper Lorentzen's son. FRAND s: He's a fine man; congratulations. JERONIMUS: Can I persuade you to come to their wedding, neighbor, and to be in a good mood? FRANDS: Of course. I've already wiped my son from my mind. JERONIMUS: You do well by that. FRANDS: The thing that hurts most is to be severed from such a good, honorable man as yourself, with whom I had longed for our families to be joined through marriage. JERONIMUS: Listen, neighbor! Isn't your daughter, Lisbed, grown up now? FRANDS: Yes, she is. JERONIMUS: So is my son, Jochum. Can't there be a new engagement? F RANDs : That would be wonderful! If you're sure. JERONIMUS: There you have my hand that he'll be her husband; for I've noticed that he most assuredly thinks more than a little of her. I think, dear neighbor, it remains Hereafter very sure; Our sons are made to marry Danes Before exotic tours. 122. Dame ... France: "A well-known and widely famous lady in France." gentilhomme .. . France: "Gentleman and favorite darling of Mme. la Fleche, famous courtesan to the Royal French Court." The date on the letter, "the 18th of May," is believed to be the date that the play premiered in 1723. !02

ACT V, Scene 6 Your son's madness illustrates The example that we feared. Why venture out to foreign states Before one grows a beard? Foreign lands keep their youth pure, At home where they belong, But Danish youth who go on tour Think their upbringing wrong. In kingly style they wine and dine;

Begin to sow wild oats; Learn gallantries and monkeyshines, While wearing foreign coats,

If they must travel far from home While in their youthful days, Then off to Jutland let them roam To keep their Danish ways. The moral of this little play The author does in mirth write; At home in Denmark let us stay, And love our native birthright. THE END

103

Jeppe of the Hill OR THE TRANSFORMED PEASANT

A COMEDY IN FIVE ACTS BY LUDVIG HOLBERG

T

possibly the first story to be outlined by Holberg, feppe paa Bierget was the fourth play written and delivered to Rene Magnan de Montaigu before the opening of the Lille Gmnnegade Theatre. Teppe was also published in Holberg's first volume of comedies in 1723. Although it has become his best-known play the world over, the first production in the fall of 1722 was not very successful. Holberg blames that on "disagreement amongst the actors." However, he does go on to praise Johan Wibe Gram's portrayal of Jeppe because he "acted the part of a Zealand peasant so naturally, in speech and his entire demeanor" (Epistle 101). feppe is Holberg's most-translated play, having been translated into English no h:ss. than foux times and has been most likely to have the occasional American stage production, most recently in Portland, Oregon, in 1986. In his introduction to the first volume of plays, Just Justesen explains that "the author desires no praise for the piece, because it is the only one that he did not invent himself" (1723, rpt. Comoedier, val. 3, 1922, p. 612). Holberg freely admitted that the story was taken from Jacob Bidermann's Utopia (1640), and followed it point by point. Modern scholars have also noted that there are several other possible sources for the two central issues-the peasant brought to glory, and the peasant dominated by his shrewish wife. Some of these are quite obscure, such as "The Cobbler as King," which was translated by a Buddhist missionary, Senghuei (d. 28o), from East Indian to Chinese(!), and the Polish comedy by Baryka, "The Peasant as King" (1633t which also gives the peasant a shrewish wife. Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew (1623) is sometimes mentioned, but it is certain that Holberg did not know any of Shakespeare's plays. Any references to sources other than Bidermann are purely speculation, although itis likely that Holberg knew the Abul-Hassan story in The Thousand and One Arabian Nights, nos. 622-53. All of this chronicling and postulating on the originality of Holberg's story obscures the author's great contribution. Literarily, Holberg has created a unique character study-a study of a Zealand peasant that is so truly depicted that it is in complete agreement with later academic descriptions of North Zealand peasantry under the yoke of both cheap brandywine and the overseer. Holberg's contribution is even clearer when realizing that all departures from Bidermann, such as the first seven scenes of Act I, develop character. Dramatically, Holberg's Jeppe is a man who does not follow the patterns of any earlier works. Instead Jeppe is allowed to react-to his wife, to his baron, and to his remarkable situations. His constant drunkenness ensures HOUGH

107

Jeppe of the Hill that this witty and amiable peasant's reactions are honest. Theatrically, Holberg has created one of the greatest comic roles of all time. The many opportunities for action and reaction, and especially for the delivery of comic monologues, are unequaled. But there are also great opportunities for the supporting characters, especially the Baron and Nille. Holberg may have derived his plot from Bidermann, but he created one of the world's great character comedies. Together with The Political Tinker, a portrait of Holberg's politics can be drawn. In Tinker, Holberg moralizes that a people often condemn their leaders, though they themselves are totally unable to govern, and that those who are trained for leadership should be left to lead, In feppe, Holberg moralizes that peasants thrust to glory pose as much danger to society as tyrants, and that workmen should be left in the fields. But on the other hand, some have argued that Jeppe merely gives back that which has been done to him: he has a wife who whips him, an overseer who beats him to work, and a deacon who cuckolds him. When he wakes up in the Baron's bed and finds that he has power, he exclaims that the secretary is not worth his pay, condemns the secretary and the overseer to death, and will bed the overseer's wife, with his permission (reminiscent of the time Nille forced him to apologize to the deacon for mentioning his cuckoldry). Is Holberg mirroring a terrible baron who has nothing better to do than play dirty tricks on his peasants; or is Holberg portraying a baron who is vocal in his concern for his peasants, has a little fun, and then rewards Jeppe for his troubles by giving him four rix-dollars and a promise to punish his wife if she beats him again? Such questions of politics and character are the things of which great plays are made.

ro8

Characters in the Comedy

JEPPE OF THE HILL NILLE, his Wife BARON NILUS HIS SECRETARY JACOB SHOEMAKE R First Lackey

Erich Lackey

Valet

Two Doctors

Overseer's Wife

Three Armed Men

Magnus

!09

Jeppe of the Hill OR

THE TRANSFORMED PEASANT

BY LUDVIG HOLBERG

ACT I Scene r NILLE: [Alone.] I don't think there's a lazier scoundrel in the whole county than my husl:iandJ 1 I can hardly wake him up when I pull him out of bed by his hair. That scoundrel knows today is market day, and still, he sleeps so long. Just the other day Parson Poul, said to me, "NiUe, you're too hard on your husband, after all, he is and should be master of the house." But I answered, "No, my good Mr. Poul, if I let my husband rule this house for just one year, neither the baron would get his rent nor the parson his offerings, for in that time he'd drink up everything in the house! Should I let a man be master of the house when he's ready to sell his furniture, wife, children, and even himself for brandy?" At that, Parson Poul became very quiet and wiped his hand across his mouth. The overseer agrees with me and says, "My dear woman, ignore what the parson says. It does say in the ritual that you should honor and obey your husband; but on the other hand, it's written in your lease, which is more current than your vows, that you must keep up your farm and pay your rent, which for you is impossible unless you drag your husband out of bed every day by the hair and beat him to work." I just pulled him out of bed and went out to the barn to see how the work was going; when I went back in he was sitting on the chair, sound asleep, with his pants, to be polite, on just the one leg. Well I grabbed my switch down from the hook and licked my good Jeppe until he was wide awake again. The only thing he's afraid of is Master Erich; that's what I call my switch. 2 Hey, r. "The Hill" (Bierget) in the title of the play is the name of a village on Zealand. Holberg uses it as the prototypical village both in this play and in Erasmus Montanus. However, the characters

and places in these two plays are not intended to be the same even though they share many of the same names. 2. Nille's switch is a braided leather whip.

IIO

ACT I, Scene

2

Jeppe! Is your ass covered yet? Do you want to talk to Master Erich again? Hey, Jeppe, get out here! Scene 2 feppe- Nille JEPPE: I've got to have time to dress, Nille. I can't very well go to town like a pig without pants and coat. NILLE: Scoundrel! Couldn't you put on ten pair of pants since I woke you this morning? JEPPE: Have you put away Master Erich, Nille? NILLE: Yes I have, but I know right where to get him again if you're not quick enough. Come here! See how he cringes. Come here! You're going to town to buy me two pounds of soft soap. Here's the money for it. But listen, if you're not back here in four hours, Master Erich will dance a polka on your back! JEPPE: How can I walk eighteen miles in four hours, Nille? NILLE: Who says you have to walk, cuckold? Run! I've pronounced the sentence once and for all, now do what you want. Scene 3 feppe JEPPE: [Alone.] Now that sow's going in to stuff herself with breakfast, while I, poor devil, have to walk eighteen miles without anything to eat or drink. Can any man have such a damnable wife as mine? I think she's actually Lucifer's cousin. It's true that people in the county are quick to say Jeppe drinks, but they never ask why Jeppe drinks. I never got as many thrashings in my ten years in the militia as I get in one day from that awful woman. She beats me, the overseer drives me to work like a beast, and the deacon cuckolds me. So can't I drink? Can't I use the means nature gives us to drive away our sorrows? If I was a fool I wouldn't take such things so much to heart and I wouldn't drink. But there's one sure thing, I am a bright man; therefore I feel this more than others, and therefore, I have to drink. My neighbor, Moons Christoffersen, often says to me, because he is my good friend, "The devil take your fat belly, Jeppe. You must hit back; then the old hag will behave." But I can't hit back for three reasons: First, I don't have the nerve. Second, that damned Master Erich hanging behind the bed, which my back can't even think about without crying. Third, because I am, and I don't mean to I I I

Jeppe of the Hill boast, a sweet-tempered soul and a Christian man who never seeks revenge, not even against the deacon, who sticks one hom on me after another! I even pay him his offering on all three holy days/ though there isn't honor enough in him to give me a glass of beer even once during the year. I took nothing more to heart than the sarcastic words he said to me last year when I was telling how a wild bull, who never feared any man, was once frightened by me. He cracked, "Don't you get it, Jeppe? The bull saw that you had horns bigger than his! He didn't want to butt horns with his superior!" I call on you to witness, good people, that such words can pierce an honorable man to the bone. After all1 I am so good natured that I have never once wished for the life of my wife. On the contrary, when she was lying sick with jaundice last year, I wished that she might live. Hell is already so full of evil women Lucifer might send her back and then she'd be even worse than ever. But I'd be happy if the deacon died, for my own sake as well as for others, since he only hurts me and is of no use to the congregation. He's an ignorant devil, for he can't sustain the simplest note, let alone dip a decent candle. Say, but his predecessor, Christoffer, was another story. He sustained "We Believe" longer than twelve deacons in his time, that's the kind of voice he had. 4 Once I decided to settle things with the deacon, since Nille herself heard him call me a cuckold. I said, "The devil be your cuckold, Deacon Mads!" But what happened? Master Erich jumped off the wall to settle things and my wife thrashed my back until I begged his forgiveness and had to thank him, that he, as a well-learned man would do my house the honor. Since that time I've never thought to get even. Oh, yes! Moons Christoffersen, you and the other farmers can very well talk; you whose wives have no Master Erich lying behind the bed. If I had one wish in the world, I'd pray that either my wife had no arms or that I had no back. She can use her mouth as much as she likes. But I must visit Jacob Shoemaker on the way. He'll surely give me a penny's worth of brandy on credit, for I have to have something to hold me over. Hey, Jacob Shoemaker, are you up? Open up, Jacob! 3. The three holy days are Christmas, Easter, and Pentecost. 4· Jeppe is referring to a kind of singing contest where, in singing the hymn "We Believe, We All

Believe in God," the winner was he who could sustain the note on "we" longer than the others. See also Erasmus Montanus, Act I, Sc. 4·

112

ACT I, Scene 4 Scene 4 Jacob Shoemaker- Jeppe JACOB: [Wearing only his shirt.] Who the hell wants in so early? JEPPE: Good morning, Jacob Shoemaker. JACOB: Thanks, Jeppe. You're up and about very early today. JEPPE: Let me have a penny's worth of brandy, Jacob. JACOB: Sure thing, give me the penny. JEPPE: You'll get it tomorrow when I come back. JACOB: Jacob Shoemaker doesn't serve on credit. I'm sure you have a petmy or two to pay with. JEPPE: Like hell I do, Jacob, excepting for the pennies my wife gave me to buy something in town. JAcoB : I'm sure you can shave a couple pennies off the things you buy. What is your business? JEPPE: I'm getting two pounds of soft soap. JACOB: Can't you just say that you paid a penny or two more per pound than you really pay? JEPPE: I'm so afraid that my wife will find out, then I'd be in trouble. JACOB: Nonsense! How's she going to find out? Can't you swear that you spent all the money? You're as dumb as an ass. JEPPE: That's true enough, Jacob, I could certainly do that. JACOB: So, give me your penny. JEPPE: Here. But you must give nie a penny change. JACOB: [Brings a glass of brandy, toasts JEPPE by drinking from it, and then hands the glass to him.] Cheers, Jeppe! JEPPE: You drank that like a thief! JACOB: Oh, it's the custom for the innkeeper to drink to his guests. JEPPE: I know it is the custom; but damn the one who started it. Here's to you, Jacob. JACOB: Thanks, Jeppe. You'll have to drink up that other penny, after all you can't bring it back; unless I owe you a glass of brandy when you come back. Believe me, I don't have a single penny change. JEPPE: The hell you say. If it must be consumed, then it must be at once, so I can feel I've got something in my belly. But if you drink any of it, I'll pay nothing. JACOB: Cheers, Jeppe. JEPPE: God protect our friends and disgrace our enemies. That feels good in the belly. Ah! II3

Jeppe of the Hill JAcoB: Good luck on your way, Jeppe. JEPPE: Thanks, Jacob Shoemaker.

Scene 5

Jeppe JEPPE: [Alone. In a merry mood, he begins to sing.] A white hen and a speckled hen Turned against a rooster ... 5

I wish I had the nerve to drink up another penny. Oh! I wish I had the nerve to drink up another penny! I think I'll do it. No, I'll get in trouble. If I could only get the inn out of my sight I wouldn't feel the need; but its like somebody's holding me back. I have to go in again. But what are you doing, Jeppe? I see Nille, as though she's blocking the way with Master Erich in her hand. I'll have to tum back. Oh, I wish I had the nerve to drink up another penny! My belly says, "Do it." My back says, "Don't." Which one should I cross? Isn't my belly more than my back? I think so. Should I knock? Hey, Jacob Shoemaker, get out here! But that damned woman blocks my way again. If she'd only hit my backbone so it didn't hurt, I'd say to hell with it. But she hits like ... Oh, God strengthen this poor man. What shall I do? Control your nature, Jeppe! Isn't it disgraceful that you'd get yourself in trouble for a measly glass of brandy? No! It won't happen this time. I must go on. Oh, I wish I had the nerve to drink up another penny. It's my bad luck that I got that first taste of it; now I can't leave. Move legs! The devil will tear you to pieces if you don't go. No, the bastards won't budge at all. They want to go to the inn again. My limbs are at war with each other; my belly and legs want the inn and my back wants the town. Will you walk, you dogs! You beasts! You rogues! No, damn them, they will go back to the inn. I have more trouble getting my legs to walk away from the inn than I have getting my piebald horse out of the stable. Oh! I wish I had the nerve to drink up just one more single penny. Who knows, maybe Jacob Shoemaker will advance me a penny or two if I beg for it. Hey, Jacob! A glass of brandy for two pennies!

s. This song was supposedly a well-known drinking song containing satirical attacks on European royalty. II4

ACT I, Scene 6 Scene 6 Jacob- Jeppe JACOB: Well, Jeppe! Back so soon? I didn't think you got enough. What good is two pennies worth of brandy; it barely wets your throat. JEPPE: That's true, Jacob. Bring me another brandy for two pennies. [Aside.] After I drink it he'll have to give me credit whether he wants to or not. JACOB: Here's two pennies worth of brandy, Jeppe! But the money first. JEPPE: You can certainly give me credit while I drink, as the proverb says. JACOB: I don't care for proverbs, Jeppe. If you don't pay in advance, you won't get a drop. I've sworn off giving credit to anyone; not even to the overseer himself. JEPPE: [Crying.] Can't you just give me a little credit? I'm an honest man. JACOB: No credit. JEPPE: Here's your money, then, skinflint! Now it's done. Drink up, Jeppe. Ah, that feels good. JACOB: Yeah. It can bake a snake's insides. JEPPE: The very best thing with brandy is, it gives you such courage afterwards. Now I don't think anymore about either my wife or Master Erich, I was so changed by that last glass. Have you heard this song, Jacob? Little Kirsten and Sir Peder sat at a table, Peteheia! They said all the shameful words they were able, Polemeia! In the summer sings the lusty finch, Peteheia! The devil take Nille, the wench, Polemeia! I walked out to the green mound, Peteheia! The deacon is a worn-out hound, Polemeia! I rode my dapple gray horse to the east, Peteheia! The deacon is a worn-out beast, Polemeia! If you will know my wife's name, Peteheia! She is called: Get vice and shame, Polemeia! 6 I wrote that song myself, Jacob! JACOB: The hell you did. JEPPE: Jeppe isn't as dumb as you think. I have also done a song about shoemakers, too. It goes like this: The shoemaker with his bass and fiddle, Philepom, Philepom! 6. This song is modified from a real medieval ballad; see Danmarks gamle Folkeviser, II, ed. by Svend Grundtvig (Copenhagen: Samfundet til den danske Literaturs Fremme, r856), p. 67. I I

5

Jeppe of the Hill JACOB: You fool! That's about musicians. JEPPE: Yeah, that's true. Hey, Jacob! Give me another brandy for two pennies. JACOB: Good, now I can see you're a generous man-who doesn't grudge my house a penny. JEPPE: Hey, Jacob, just bring me four pennies' worth. JACOB: Right away! JEPPE: [Singing again) The earth drinks water, The sea drinks sun, The sun drinks sea, The whole world drinks, As you can see, So why not me? 7 JAcoB: To your health, Jeppe! JEPPE: Mir zu! 8 JACOB: Your health for the half of it is good enough for me. JEPPE: Ich tank Ju, Jacob! Drik man dat dig di Dyvel haal, dat ist dig veil undt. 9 JAcoB : I hear you speak German, Jeppe. JEPPE: True, it goes way back; but I don't usually speak it unless I'm drunk. JACOB: Then you must speak it at least once a day. JEPPE: I served in the militia for ten years; shouldn't I understand my languages? 10 JACOB: I know that, Jeppe. We served in the campaign 11 together for two years. JEPPE: That's true, now I remember. You were hanged once for running off at Wismar. 12 JAcoB : I was going to be hanged, but I was pardoned again. I escaped by the skin of my teeth. JEPPE: It's a shame you weren't hanged, Jacob. But weren't 7. The motif for this song goes back to the Greek Anacreontic poems, but was frequently used by poets after the Renaissance; see Nyrop in Dania; tidsskrift for dansk sprag og litteratur samt folkeminder, val. ro, (Copenhagen: Lybecker & Meyer, 1903), 136. 8. Mir zu: "Drink up with me." 9· Jeppe is attempting to speak Low German. Ich tank ... ist: "I thank you, Jacob. Just drink, so the devil takes you ... " His German then slips more or less into Danish

for dig vell undt: " ... you're welcome to it." 10. The army gave orders in German. Among his superiors, Jeppe would have heard both High and Low German spoken. rr. The Great Nordic War between Denmark and Sweden, which involved several European nations (ryoo-ry2r). 12. The town Wismar in Mecklenburg (an early kingdom and duchy in northern Germany) was taken by Denmark in 1716.

rr6

ACT I, Scene 6 you in on that auction on the moors-you know what I mean? JACOB: Oh! What action wasn't I in? JEPPE: I'll never forget the first barge the Swedes fired. I think 3000 men fell at the same time; if not, then 4000. Das ging fordyvled zu, Jacob! Du kanst wol das remember. Ich kan nicht deny how terrified ich var in dat battle. 13 JACOB: Yeah, yeah. Death is hard to face; you get so Godfearing when you're up against the enemy. JEPPE: That's true; I don't know why. All night before the auction I laid and read David's Box of Salt. 14 JAcoB : It surprises me that you, who've been a soldier, can let your wife bully you. JEPPE: Me! I only wish I had her here, then you'd see how I'd clobber her! Another glass, Jacob! I still have eight pennies and when they're drunk up, I'll drink on credit. Give me a tankard of beer, too. In Leipzig was In Leipzig was In Leipzig was In Leipzig was In Leipzig was

a man, a man, a boring man, a boring man, a man. Die Mann, he nama wife [etc.] 15

JACOB: Your health, Jeppe! JEPPE: Hey! He-y! He- Here's to you and here's to me and here's to all good friends, He-y-y-y! JACOB: Won't your drink to the overseer? JEPPE: Sure thing! Fetch me for another penny. The overseer's an all right man. When we slip him a little on the side, he swears a solemn oath to the baron that we can't pay our rent. Oh hell, I'm out of money. You'll advance me a large one or two on credit. JACOB: No, Jeppe. You can't take drinking anymore now. I'm not the kind of man who'll let his guests overdo it in my house and drink more than they can handle. I'd rather lose the business, for it would be a sin ... 13. Jeppe's speech is beginning to slur and mix: "auction" for "action"; "barge" for "barrage." Das ging fordyvled zu: "It was hell." Du kanst wol das: "You can surely." Ich kan nicht: "I cannot." ich var in dat: "I was in that." 14. More from ignorance than

from brandy, Jeppe says "David's Box of Salt" for "David's Psalter." 15. A well-known German student song. Die Mann: "The man." nam: "took." It was also quoted by Holberg in his comedy, Jacob von Thyboe (1725).

II?

Jeppe of the Hill JEPPE: Hey, just another two pennies worth. JACOB: No, Jeppe. I won't pour anymore. Remember, you've got a long way to walk. JEPPE: You ass. Son of a. bitch! Beast! Bastard! Ai-i-i--i! JACOB: Goodbye, Jeppe! Good luck on your trip. Scene 7 Jeppe JEPPE: [Alone.] Oh, Jeppe! You're as drunk as a beast! My legs won't hold me. Will you stand or not, you rascals? Hey! What time is it? Hey, Jacob Sonuvabitch Shoemaker! Hey! Just one more big one! Will youstand, }'OU dogs? No, the devil take me if they'll stand. Thanks, Jacob Shoemaker! Just freshen me up. Listen comrade, where is the road to town? Stand still, I tell you! See, the beast is drunk. You drank like a fish, Jeppe. Was this a brandy for two pennies?-You measure like a Turk. [He falls down while he talks and passes out.] Scene 8 Baron Nilus- Secretary- Valet- Two Lackeys BARON: It looks as though this will be a fruitful year; just see how thick the barley grows. SECRETARY: That's true, Your Grace. But that means a barrel of barley won't go higher this year than five marks. BARON: That doesn't matter. The peasants are always better off in the good times. SECRETARY: I don't know why it is, Your Grace, the peasants always complain and demand seed grain whether it's a fruitful year or not. When they have something, they drink all the more. There's an innkeeper in this neighborhood named Jacob Shoemaker who is a great help at making the peasants poor. They claim he puts salt in his beer so they get thirstier the more they drink. BARON: We must get rid of that fellow. But what's that lying in the road? Surely it's a dead man. We hear of nothing other than misfortune. One of you run over and see what it is. FIRST LACKEY: It's Jeppe of the Hill, who has the shrewish wife. Wake up, Jeppe! No. He wouldn't wake up if we beat him and pulled his hair. BARON: Let him be. Wait. I should like to play a joke on him. You're usually full of ideas, can't you hit on something now that will amuse me. 118

ACT II, Scene r SECRETARY: I think it would be fun to tie a paper collar around his neck, or cut off his hair. VALET: I think it would be funnier to smear ink on his face and then send someone to see what his wife does to him when he goes home like that. BARON: That's good enough. But what do you bet that Erich comes up with something even better. What do you say, Erich? ERICH LACKEY: I think we should undress him completely and lay him in m'Lords best bed, and in the morning, when he awakes, we'll all behave toward him as though he is the lord of the manor, so he doesn't know how he's been twisted or turned around! Then, after we- have him believing he's a baron, we'll get him just as drunk as he is now and put him in his old clothes out on the same dung heap. If we execute it cleverly it should produce some extraordinary results, and he'll convince himself that he had either dreamt of his good fortune or that he really was in paradise. BARON: Erich! You are a great man and therefore have only great ideas. But what if he wakes up all of a sudden? ERICH: I'm sure he won't, Your Grace. This same Jeppe of the Hill is one of the soundest sleepers in the entire county. Last year someone tried to slip a rocket behind his neck, but when the rocket fired he still didn't wake up. BARON: Then let's do it. Drag him away at once! Dress him in an exquisite shirt and lay him in my finest bed. END OF

ACT

I

ACT II Scene I

JEPPE: [The scene opens with JEPPE lying in the BARON's bed. A gold-brocade robe is draped over a chair. JEPPE awakes and rubs his eyes; he looks around, becoming terrified, and rubs his eyes again. He grabs at his head and finds a goldembroidered nightcap in his hand. He smears spit on his eyes and rubs again. He turns and examines the cap, notices the fine shirt, looks at the robe and takes in everything. He grimaces grotesquely. In the meantime, soft music is playing. JEPPE folds his hands and cries. When the music ends, he speaks.] Ail What is this? What is this splendor and how did I get here? Am I dreaming? Or am I awake? No, I'm completely awake. Where's my wife, where II9

feppe of the Hill are my children, where is my house, and where is Jeppe? Everything is changed, including me. Ai! What is this? What is this! [He calls quietly, afraid.] Nille! Nille! Nille! I think I've gone to heaven, Nille, but I'm so unworthy. Is it really me? I think yes; I also think no. When I feel my back still sore from the beatings I've had, when I hear myself speak, when I feel the hole in my tooth, I think it's me. On the other hand, when I look at my cap, my shirt, at all this splendor before my eyes, and I hear the beautiful music, may the devil split me in two if I can get into my head that it's me. No, it's not me; I'll be a scoundrel a thousand times over if it is. But aren't I just dreaming? I don't think so. I'll try pinching my arm; if it doesn't hurt, then I'm dreaming, if it hurts then I'm not dreaming. Yes, I felt it; I'm awake. Of course I'm awake; no one can dispute that, because if I wasn't awake, then I couldn't.... But how can I be awake now that I think about it? There's no mistaking that I am Jeppe of the Hill; I know I'm a poor peasant, a serf, a scoundrel, a cuckold, a hungry louse, a maggot, a scum; how can I, at the same time, be an emperor and lord of a castle? No, it's only a dream. Therefore it's best that I be patient until I wake up. [Music begins and JEPPE cries again.) Oh! Can a man hear that in his sleep? It's not possible! But if it is a dream, I hope I never wake up; and if I'm mad, I hope I'm never sane again! I'll sue any doctor who cures me and curse the one who wakes me! But I'm neither dreaming nor crazy; for I can remember everything that's happened to me. I can remember that my late father was Niels of the Hill, my grandfather, Jeppe of the Hill, my wife is called Nille and her switch is Master Erich. My sons are Hans, Christoffer, and Niels. But look, now I know what it is: it's another life, it's paradise, it's heaven! Maybe I drank myself to death yesterday at Jacob Shoemaker's. Died and went straight to heaven. Death must not be as hard to pass through as we imagine; I didn't feel a thing. May~e at this very moment Parson Poul is at the pulpit preaching my eulogy, "And this is the end of Jeppe of the Hill; he lived as a soldier and died as a soldier." You can debate about whether I died on land or on sea; because I left that world awfully wet! Oh, Jeppe! This is something other than walking eighteen miles to town to buy soap, sleeping on straw, being thrashed by your wife, and growing horns because of the deacon. Oh! Your troubles and sour days are transformed into such bliss! I must weep for joy, especially when I think how all this has happened to me so 120

ACT II, Scene

2

unworthily. But one thing is on my mind, and that is, I'm so thirsty my lips are sticking together. Should I wish to be alive again it would only be to get a tankard of beer to quench my thirst! What use is all this splendor for my eyes and ears when I shall die again of thirst? I remember that the parson often said that there is neither hunger nor thirst in heaven and that we'll also find all of our dead friends there. But I'm ready to wither away of thirst and I'm all alone; I don't see anyone. At the very least I should find my grandfather, who was such an honest man he died without owing the baron so much as a penny. I know that many people have lived just as good a life as me; so why should I, alone, come to heaven? Therefore, this cannot be heaven. But what place can it be? I'm not asleep, I'm not awake, I'm not dead, I'm not alive, I'm not mad, I'm not wise, I'm Jeppe of the Hill, I'm not Jeppe of the Hill, I'm poor, I'm rich, I'm a wretched peasant, I'm an emperor ... Ah-h-h! Help! Help! Help! [With that great scream, several people, who have been eavesdropping to see how he behaves, rush into the room.] Scene 2 Valet- Erich Lackey- feppe VALET : I wish Your Grace a blissful good morning. Here is your robe, if Your Grace wishes to get up. Erich! Run and fetch a towel and washbasin. JEPPE: Ah, Your Honor, Mr. Valet, I'll gladly get up. But, I beg you not to hurt me. VALET: God forbid that we should hurt m'Lord. JEPPE: Ah, before you kill me, won't you please do me the favor of telling me who I am? VALET: Doesn't m'Lord know who he is? JEPPE: Yesterday I was Jeppe of the Hill, but today ... Oh, I don't know what to say. VALET : We are delighted that m'Lord is in such excellent humor today that he feels like jesting. But, God help us, why is Your Grace crying? JEPPE: I'm not Your Grace. I'll swear a holy oath that I'm not, for as far as I can remember, I'm Jeppe Nielsen of the Hill, one of the baron's peasants. If you send for my wife, she'll tell you; but don't let her bring Master Erich with her. LACKEY: This is peculiar. What is this? M'Lord must not be awake, for he never used to joke like this. 121

Jeppe of the Hill fEPPE: Whether I'm awake or not I can't say, but I know this and can say, that I am one of the baron's peasants and my name is Jeppe of the Hill, and I've never been a baron or a count in my life. VALET: Erich! What can this be? I'm afraid that m'Lord has become ill. ERICH: I suppose he is walking in his sleep; for it often happens that people get out of bed, dress, talk, eat, and drink in their sleep. VALET: No, Erich! I believe that m'Lord is hallucinating from some illness. Run quickly and get a couple of doctors-Oh! Your Grace, drive such thoughts from your head. Otherwise Your Grace will-strike fear into the entire household. Does m'Lord not know me? JEPPE: I don't even know myself! How should I know you? VALET: Oh! Is it possible that I should hear such words coming from my noble Lord's mouth and see him in such a state? Oh! Our unfortunate house, to be plagued by some enchantment! Can't m'Lord remember what he did yesterday when he rode on the hunt? JEPPE: I've never been either a hunter or a poacher. I know that means work at Bremerholm's. 16 No living soul can prove that I've ever hunted a hare on my master's property. VALET: My Noble Lord! I rode with you myself on the hunt yesterday. fEPPE: Yesterday I was at Jacob Shoemaker's and drank up brandy for twelve pennies. How could I go hunting? VALET: On my knees, I beg m'Lord to stop this nonsense. Erich! Did you send for the doctors? ERICH: Yes, they'll be here shortly. VALET: Then let's get m'Lord into his robe; maybe he'll feel better when he gets out into the air. Will m'Lord please put on his robe? fEPPE: With pleasure. You can do anything you want with me, as long as you don't kill me. I'm as innocent as a baby in his mother's womb. Scene 3 Two Doctors- feppe- Valet- Erich FIRST DocToR: With the greatest pain we hear that the master is not well. VALET: Yes, Doctor, he is in miserable condition. 16. Danish law punished poaching with three years' duty at Bremerholm's naval yard.

!22

ACT II, Scene 3 SECOND DocTOR: How are things, Your Grace? JEPPE: Just fine; except I'm a little thirsty from all that brandy I had at Jacob Shoemaker's yesterday. Will you just give me a tankard of beer and let me go; then they can hang you and all doctors, because I don't need any medicine! FIRST DocToR: I call that a clear hallucination, my dear colleague. SECOND DocTOR: The stronger it is, the quicker it will pass. Let's feel the master's pulse. Quid tibi videtur, Domine Frater/ 17 FIRST DocTOR: I suggest we bleed him immediately. SECOND DocTOR: I don't agree. Such unusual infirmities must be cured by other means. The master has had a weird and hideous dream that has stirred up his blood and confused his brain to the point that he believes he is a peasant. We must attempt to amuse the master with those things that usually give him the greatest pleasure. Give him his favorite wine and food and play the music he most likes to hear. [Merry music begins to play.] VALET: Isn't this m'Lord's favorite piece? JEPPE: Could be. Do you always have so much fun here in the manor? VALET: Whenever m'Lord wishes; for you pay everyone's board and wages. JEPPE: But it's odd that I can't remember what I did before. FIRST DocToR: It's a sympton of this illness, Your Grace, that you forget everything you've done before. I remember a few years ago that one of my neighbors became so confused by strong drink that for two days he convinced himself that he had no head. 18 JEPPE: I'd be satisfied if our District Judge Christoffer did the same! But his delusion is the exact opposite, for he's convinced that he has a large head, though in fact he has none at all, which anyone can see by his sentencing. [Everyone laughs.) SECOND DocTOR: It is delightful to hear m'Lord jest. But to finish the story, this same man ran all over town asking people if anyone had found his head. But he got well again, and to this day is a bell ringer in Jutland. JEPPE: He could do that even if he didn't find his head! J7. Quid . .. Frater: "What do you think, dear brother?" I 8. Several of these medical

stories, which Holberg also rendered in Epistle No. 381, are derived from Bidermann's Utopia. 123

Jeppe of the Hill [Everyone laughs again.] Perhaps my dear colleague can remember the story from about ten years ago about the man who thought his head was full of flies? He wouldn't give up the notion no matter how much people pleaded with him, until a clever doctor cured him this way: he sprinkled dead flies on a mustard plaster and laid it over the man's head. After a while, the doctor pulled it off, showed the sick man the flies, convinced him that they came out of his head, and he was well again. I also heard of another man who, after a long fever, got the idea that if he passed his water he would flood the country! No one could change his thinking, for he said he'd rather die for the public good. He was cured in this manner: a message was sent to him, supposedly from the commander of that city, that he feared a siege and there was no water in the moat. He was asked to prevent the enemy's entry into the city by filling the moat. The sick man was overjoyed because he could serve both his fatherland and himself; and so was relieved of both his water and his sickness. SECOND DocTOR: I can give you another example from Germany. A nobleman stopped for the night at an inn. After eating, he retired to his room, removed his gold chain from around his neck, and hung it on the wall. The innkeeper paying careful attention to that, followed him to his bed and wished him a good night. When he thought that the nobleman was asleep, the innkeeper sneaked back into his room, removed sixty links from the chain, and hung it back on the wall. The guest got up the next morning, had his horse saddled, and put on his clothes. But when he went to fasten the chain around his neck, he discovered that half of it was missing and began to scream that he was robbed. The innkeeper, who was eavesdropping outside his door, ran in and, pretending to be terrified, screamed, "Oh! What a terrible transformation!" When the guest asked him what he meant by that, he said, "My Lord! Your head has become twice as large as it was yesterday!" Then he brought out a trick mirror that magnified everything two times. When the nobleman saw his head looking so large in the mirror he began to weep and said, "Oh! Now I know why my chain became so short!" At that he mounted his horse and wrapped his cloak around his head so no one could see it along the way. They say that he remained at home for several days because he couldn't get over the notion

FIRST DocToR:

124

ACT II, Scene 3 that it was not his chain that had become too short, but his head that had become too large. FIRST DocToR: There are countless examples of such delusions. I remember hearing about a man who thought his nose was ten feet long and warned everyone he met not to come too close. SECOND DocToR: Domine Frater has surely heard the story about the man who thought he was dead? A young man got it into his head that he was dead, so he lay down in a coffin and refused to eat or drink. His friends tried to convince him of his foolishness and used all sorts of tricks to try to get him to eat, but to no avail, for the young man only laughed, maintaining that it was against alhhe rules for the dead to eat and drink. Finally an experienced man of medicine took it upon himself to cure him in a strange way: he got a servant to pretend also to be dead and brought him in procession to where the sick man lay. At first, the two lay there for a long time looking at each other. Finally, the sick man asked the other why he was there; to which he answered, because he was dead. Then they asked each other about the causes of their deaths, which each described at great length. About that time some people came who were hired, bringing the latter man his supper-at which he got up out of his coffin and ate a good meal, saying to the other, "Aren't you going to eat soon?" The sick man wondered about it and asked if it was fitting for a dead man to eat, but got the answer that if he did not eat he would not be able to stay dead for long. He was thereby persuaded first to eat with the other, and later to sleep, get up, and dress himself. Yes, he aped the other in everything until he became alive again and came to his senses. I could give you countless more examples of such strange delusions. This is exactly what has happened to the Noble Lord; he has got it into his head that he is a poor peasant. But m'Lord must cast those thoughts from his mind; then he will immediately be well again. JEPPE: But is it really possible that this is a delusion? FIRST DocToR: Of course. M'Lord has heard from these stories what delusions can do. JEPPE: Then I'm not Jeppe of the Hill? SECOND DOCTOR: Absolutely not. JEPPE: Isn't the wicked Nille my wife? FIRST DocToR: By no means, for m'Lord is a bachelor. JEPPE: Is it a complete delusion that she has a s~itch named Master Erich? !25

Jeppe of the Hill SECOND DocToR: A complete delusion. JEPPE: Then it's also not true that I was supposed to go to town yesterday to buy soap? FIRST DOCTOR: No. JEPPE: And I didn't drink up my money at Jacob Shoemaker's? VALET: Why, m'Lord was hunting with us all day yesterday. JEPPE: Then I'm not a cuckold? VALET: Why, her ladyship died many years ago. JEPPE: Oh-h! I'm already beginning to understand my foolishness. I won't think of that peasant again; for I can see that a nightmare has caused these delusions. It certainly is amazing how a man can get such ideas into his head. VALE 'I': Would it please m'Lord to walk in the garden while we prepare some lunch? JEPPE: Very well. But you'd better hurry up, for I'm both hungry and thirsty! END

OF

ACT

II

ACT III Scene 1 feppe- Valet- Secretary [The Baron] (JEPPE enters from the garden with his retinue. A small table is set.] JEPPE: Wonderful! I see that the table is all set. VALET: Yes, everything is prepared; if Your Grace would please sit down? (JEPPE sits at the table. The others stand behind his chair, laughing at his ill manners when he grabs into the dishes with all five fingers, belches over the table, blows his nose with his fingers and wipes it off on his clothes.] VALET: Would m'Lord care to select his wine? JEPPE: You know what wine I usually drink in the morning. VALET: M'Lord usually prefers Rhine wine. If that is not to m'Lord's taste, he may quickly get another. JEPPE: That's a little too sour. You must pour a little mead in it, then it will be good. I really like sweet things. VALET: Here's some Canary wine, if m'Lord would like to taste it. JEPPE: That's a good wine. Everybody, cheers! [Every time he drinks, trumpets blast.] Hey, fellows, on your toes! Yet another glass of Canary wine, don't you know? Where did you get that ring on your finger? SECRETARY [BARON]: M'Lord himself gave it to me. JEPPE: I don't remember that; give it back to me, I must !26

ACT III, Scene

I

have been drunk when I did that. People don't give away rings like that. Later I want to check out what other things you got. Servants should get no more than meals and wages. I swear I can't remember giving you anything special. Why should I? That ring is worth more than ten rix-dollars. No! No! My dear fellows, not so, not so. You must not take advantage of your Lord's weakness and drunkenness. When I'm drunk I'm ready to give away my pantsi but after I sleep it off I take back my handouts. Otherwise my wife, Nille, will beat me. But what am I saying? Now I'm falling into those crazy thoughts again and don't remember who I am. Give me another glass of Canary wine. Cheers, again! (The trumpets blast again.] Pay attention towhat I say, fellows! Be it known that from now on, when I give something away in the evening when I'm drunk, you must give it back the next morning. When servants get more than they can eat, they get arrogant and try to put down their masters. How much do you get paid? SECRETARY: M'Lord has always paid me two hundred rixdollars a year. JEPPE: You sure as hell won't get two hundred rix-dollars from now on. What do you do that's worth two hundred rix-dollars? I, myself, have to work like a beast and be out in the bam from dawn to dusk and can barely ... Here come those damned peasant-thoughts again. Give me another glass of wine! [He drinks again and the trumpets blast.] Two hundred rix-dollars! That's fleecing your master! Do you know what, my dear fellows? After I've eaten I have a mind to hang every second man on the estate. That'll show you that you can't screw around with me in money matters! VALET: We'll return everything we've received from Your Grace. JEPPE: Yeah, yeah. Your Grace, Your Grace. Compliments and flattery are cheap to come by these days. Your mouths butter me up with Your Grace until you grab away all my money and then you become My Grace again. To be sure, your mouth says, "Your Grace"i but your heart means, "Your Fool." You don't say what you mean, fellows! You servants are just like Abner when he greeted Roland with, "Hail to you, my brother!" while he plunged a knife into his heart. 19 Believe me, Jeppe is no man's fool! (They all 19. Jeppe is confusing his stories: Abner actually slew Asahel (2 Samuel 2:18-24) while Roland is a legendary hero from the Chronicle of

Charlemagne. !27

[eppe of the Hill kneel and beg for mercy.] Stand up again, fellows, until I've eaten. Later I'll see where things hang together and just who deserves to hang or not. Right now I'm going to have some fun. Scene 2 feppe- Valet- Overseer [Erich Lackey]Secretary [Baron] JEPPE: Where's my overseer? VALET: Right outside. JEPPE: Send him in immediately! OVERSEER [ERICH]: [Enters wearing a silver-buttoned coat and a sword-belt around his waist.] Your Grace, what is your command? JEPPE: Nothing, except you're going to hang. OvERSEER: I've done nothing wrong, Your Grace. Why should I be hanged? JEPPE: Aren't you an overseer? OVERSEER: Yes, I am, Your Grace. JEPPE: And you still have to ask why you should be hanged? OVERSEER: I have always served Your Grace so faithfully and honestly and worked so hard in my duties that Your Grace has always praised me far and above his other servants. JEPPE: I know you've worked hard at your job; that can be seen by your silver buttons. What's your yearly salary? OvERSEER: Half a hundred rix-dollars a year. JEPPE: [Pacing back and forth a little.] Fifty rix-dollars? Yes, you'll hang at once. OvERSEER: But it can't be less, Worthy Lord! Not for a whole year's diligent service. JEPPE: That's just the reason why you shall hang; because you earn only fifty rix-dollars. But you have enough money for a silver buttoned coat, for ruffled cuffs around your hands, for a silk bag-wig; 20 and you earn only fifty rixdollars a year! You must be stealing from poor little me. Where else could it come from? OvERSEER: [Kneeling.] Oh, Worthy Lord! Spare me for the sake of my poor wife and little children. JEPPE: Do you have many children? OvERSEER: I have seven living children, Your Grace. 20. A silk sack used to enclose a man's pigtail so it did not soil his clothes with hair powder.

128

ACT III, Scene 3 JEPPE: Ha! Ha! Seven living children? Sekketeer, hang him immediately. SECRETARY: But Worthy Lord, I am no henchman. JEPPE: What you are not, you can become; you look the part. When you're through hanging him, I shall hang you. OVERSEER: Oh, Worthy Lord! Is there no pardon? JEPPE: (Paces, sits and drinks, stands again.] Fifty rix-dollars; a wife and seven children! If no one else will do it, I'll hang you myself. I know what kind of men you are, you overseers! I know how you've treated me and the other poor peasants!-Oh! There are those damned peasant thoughts in my head again. I'll just say that I have your ways and mean13 so well at my fingertips that I could be an overseer myself if needs be. You get the cream off the milk while the lord of the manor gets the shit! (Begging your pardon.) I think that if the world lasts long enough you overseers will become the noblemen and the noblemen the overseers. When some peasant greases either your's or your wife's palm you come back to your lord and say, "The poor man is willing and hardworking enough, but such bad luck has hit him that he can't pay up; he has poor land, his cattle are infected" and other such nonsense that the lord of the manor is supposed to swallow. Believe me, good man, I won't allow myself to be led around by the nose; for I'm a peasant myself, and a peasant's son.-There's that madness again! I said that I am a peasant's son myself because Abraham and Eve, our first parents, were peasants. SECRETARY: [Who also falls to his knees.] Oh, Noble Lord! Have mercy on him for his poor wife's sake! How then would she live and feed her children? JEPPE: Who says they will live? They can hang alongside of him! SECRETARY: But, m'Lord, she is such a delightful, beautiful woman. JEPPE: So? Maybe you are in love with her, by the way you speak of her. Let her come in! Scene 3 Overseer's Wife - feppe- The Others (The OVERSEER'S WIFE enters and kisses JEPPE'S hands.] JEPPE: Are you the overseer's wife? OvERSEER's WIFE: Yes I am, Worthy Lord. JEPPE: (Feels her breast.] You are pretty. Will you lay with me tonight? 129

Jeppe of the Hill WIFE: M'Lord may command what he will, I am in his service. JEPPE: [To the OvERSEER.] Is it all right with you if I sleep with your wife tonight? OVERSEER: I thank m'Lord that he would show my poor house that honor. JEPPE: See here! Bring a chair for her, she's eating with me! (She sits at the table and eats and drinks with him. JEPPE becomes jealous of the SECRETARY and says:] I'll beat you if you look at her! (Everytime JEPPE looks, the SECRETARY takes his eyes off her and looks at the ground. While they're sitting at the table, JEPPE sings an old love song.· He calls for polka music and dances with her, but his drunkenness causes him to fall three times. Finally, the fourth time, he stays down and falls asleep.]

Scene 4 Baron - The Others BARON: 21 He sleeps very well. Now we've won the game. But we were almost the bigger fools because of his determination to tyrannize us to the point where we would either have had to ruin the charade or allow ourselves to be mistreated by that coarse peasant. We can learn from his behavior how tyrannical and arrogant such people become who are suddenly thrust from the gutter into positions of honor and nobility. I masqueraded as a secretary at a rather unfortunate time, for if he had thrashed me the joke would have misfired, subjecting me to ridicule from no less a person than a peasant. It's best if we let him sleep awhile before we put his filthy peasant clothes back on him. ERICH: Oh, m'Lord! He's already sleeping like a rock. See, I can hit him and he doesn't feel it. BARON: Then get him out of here and finish the comedy. END OF ACT III

21. One of Holberg's inconsistencies: Holberg's use of French Scenes (that is, a new scene number to denote the entrance or exit of major characters; a technique developed to help actors find their scenes when all copying was done by hand) seems to indicate that the BARON enters here, but here it is used to indicate that the SECRETARY reveals himself to be the BARON.

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ACT IV, Scene

I

ACT IV Scene I [JEPPE, discovered lying on a dung heap in his old peasant clothes, wakes up and yells.] JEPPE: Hey sekketeer, valet, lackeys! Another glass of Canary wine! [He looks around and rubs his eyes like before. He feels his head and finds his old, broad hat. He rubs his eyes and examines his hat from every angle, looks at his clothes and recognizing himself, begins to talk.] How long was Abraham in paradise? Unfortunately, now I know everything again-my bed, my coat, my old cuckold hat, 22 myself. This issomethingelse,Jeppe, otl:u;:r tha11 d,t-inking Canary wine from a golden glass, than to sit at a table with lackeys and sekketeers behind your chair. The good unfortunately never lasts very long. Oh! Oh! The shame that I, who so recently was such a nobleman, should see myself in such terrible condition, my beautiful bed transformed into manure, my gold-embroidered cap to an old cuckold hat, my lackeys to swine, and myself transformed from a great and noble lord into a wretched peasant again. I thought when I woke up again I'd find my fingers covered with gold rings, but they are (to be polite) encrusted with something else entirely. I thought I was calling my servants to account, but now I'll have to bare my back when I go home and have to account for my own actions. I thought, when I woke up, I'd grab a glass of Canary wine, but begging your pardon, all I grabbed was a turd. Oh, oh! Jeppe! Your stay in paradise was too short and your happines ended all too soon! But who knows, maybe the same thing will happen to me if I lay down to rest again. Oh, oh, I wish it would happen to me! Oh, I wish I could go there again. [He lies down again and sleeps.] Scene 2 Nille- Jeppe NILLE: I wonder if anything has happened to him. But how could that be? Either the devil took him, or (what I'm most afraid of) he's sitting in some inn drinking up the money! I was a fool to trust that drunken sot with twelve pennies all at once. But what's that I see? Isn't that him lying in that manure and snoring? Oh wretched me that I should have 22. A broad-brimmed hat, thought to cover a cuckold's hams, wom by a man who knew he was being cuckolded. A cuckold who did not wear one was either pitied for not knowing it or ridiculed for not admitting it.

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Jeppe of the Hill such a beast for a husband! Your back is going to pay dearly for this! [She sneaks up to him and gives him a whack across the rump with Master Erich.] JEPPE: Huh? Hey! Help, help! What is it? Where am I? Who's hitting me? Why are you hitting me? Hey! NrLLE: I'll soon teach you what it is. [She hits him again and pulls his hair.] JEPPE: Oh, my dear Nille! Don't hit me anymore. You don't know what's happened to me. NrLLE: Where's the boozehound been for so long? Where's the soap you were supposed to buy? JEPPE: I couldn't make it to town, NiUe. NrLLE: Why couldn't you make it to town? JEPPE: On the way there I was taken up to paradise. NrLLE: To paradise? [Beats him.] To paradise! [Hits him once more.] To paradise!! [Hits him again.] Will you make a fool of me in the bargain? JEPPE: Ah-h-h! So true as I'm an honest man, isn't that true! NrLLE: What's true? JEPPE: That I have been in paradise. NILLE: [Beats him again.] In paradise! JEPPE: Oh! My dear Nille! Don't beat me any more. NrLLE: Out with where you've been or I'll kill you! JEPPE: Oh! I will admit where I've been if you stop hitting me. N r LLE : Come clean then. JEPPE: Swear that you won't hit me anymore. NrLLE: No. JEPPE: As sure as I'm an honorable man and am called Jeppe of the Hill, it's true that I was in paradise and saw things that you will marvel at to hear. [NILLE beats him again and pulls him by the hair into the house.] Scene 3 NrLLE: [Alone.] So, you boozehound! First sleep it off and then we'll talk about it. Swines like you don't go to paradise. Think how that beast drank away his senses. But if he enjoyed himself at my expense, he'll pay dearly for it, for he'll get neither food nor drink for two days! By that time he should clear his head about paradise. Scene 4 Three Armed Men - Nille FIRST MAN: Does a man named Jeppe live here? NrLLE: Yes, he does.

ACT IV, Scene 5 FIRST MAN: Are you his wife? NILLE: Yes, worse luck, unfortunately. SECOND MAN: We must speak with him. NILLE: He's drunk on his ass. THIRD MAN: That doesn't matter! Get him out here now or the entire house will have worse luck. [NILLE goes into the house and shoves JEPPE out with such force that he crashes into the men, bringing one of them down to the fioor with him.] Scene 5 Jeppe - The Three Men JEPPE: Oh! My good men, now see for yourselves the kind of wife I have to live with. FIRST MAN: You don't deserve another; you are a criminal! JEPPE: What crime did I commit? SECOND MAN: You'll find out soon enough-at your trial. Scene 6 Two Lawyers - fudge [Baron]- feppe 23

[The JuDGE enters with his SERVANT and sits on his stool. JEPPE, his hands tied behind him, is brought before the JUDGE. The FmsT LAWYER steps forward and makes the following accusation.] PROSECUTOR: Here is a man, Your Honor, whom we shall prove has been seen sneaking into the Baron's manor house and attempting to imitate His Lordship, putting on his clothes and tyrannizing his servants, which are such unspeakably horrible deeds that we demand, on behalf of His Lordship, that his punishment be so severe that it shall serve as an example and a warning to other criminals. JuDGE: Are you guilty of the charge? State your defense, for we will judge no man without first hearing him. JEPPE: Oh, I'm a wretched man! What can I say? I admit that I deserve to be punished, but only for the money I drank up that I should have used to buy soap. I also admit that I was recently in a castle, but how I got there or left there, I have no idea. PROSECUTOR: The judge has heard him admit that he drank himself senseless and, in a stupor, committed such an unspeakable crime that all there is left to judge is 23. The disguise.

JUDGE

and

LAWYERS

are the

BARON

133

and his

SERVANTS

in

Jeppe of the Hill whether such a gross offender can excuse his crime because of drunkenness. I think not; for by that neither adultery nor murder could be punished. Everyone would look for an excuse saying that it was committed while drunk. Even if he can prove that he was drunk, it does not improve his case, for the law states, "What one commits in drunkenness must be repaid in soberness." It is well known how such a crime was recently punished, even though the offender was tricked by his simplemindedness to imitate a nobletnan. 24 But his simplemindedness and ignorance could not save him from death. For punishment is imposed merely as an example to others. I would tell the entire story, if I was not afraid it would delay the proceedings. DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Your Honor, this case seems so strange that my head cannot accept such a story even if there are several witnesses. A simpleminded peasant is supposed to have sneaked into the baron's manor house and imitated him without being able to imitate his looks or stature? How could he get into his lord's bedroom? How could he put on his lord's clothes without anyone's noticing it? No, Your Honor! This is clearly the fabricated work of this poor man's enemies. Therefore, I propose that all charges be dropped. JEPPE: (Crying.] Oh! God bless your mouth! I have a plug of tobacco in my pocket that you must accept; it's as good as any upright man would chew. DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Keep your tobacco, Jeppe. I defend you not for reward or gifts, but alone for Christian charity. JEPPE: I beg your forgiveness, Mr. Attorney, I never thought you people were so honest. PROSECUTOR: That which my colleague submits for this offender's acquittal is based solely upon conjecture. The question is not whether it is possible for this to have happened, because it is proved that it has happened by witnesses as well as by his own confession. DEFENSE ATTORNEY: What a man confesses in fear and trembling cannot be acceptable. Therefore, it seems to me it would be best to give this simple man time to think and then question him again. Listen, Jeppe, think about what you say! Do you admit to that with which you are charged? JEPPE: No! I will swear my highest oath that it's all lies;

24. This refers to an anecdote in Bidermann's Utopia, which Holberg used for his comedy The Peasant Boy in Pawn (1731).

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ACT IV, Scene 6 everything I swore before. I haven't been out of my house in three days. PROSECUTOR: Your Honor! With all due respect, no one should be allowed to swear an oath whose guilt was first established by witnesses and who then later confessed to his own crime! DEFENSE ATTORNEY: I think yes! PROSECUTOR: I think no! DEFENSE ATTORNEY: When the nature of the case is so peculiar? PROSECUTOR: No circumstances can stand against witnesses and confession. JEPPE: I Wish they'd come to blows, then I'd grab the judge and beat him 'til he forgets both law and order. DEFENSE ATTORNEY: But listen, worthy colleague! Even though the deed is proven, the man deserves no punishment; for he did no harm in the manor, neither murder nor theft. PROSECUTOR: That means nothing; intentio furandi is the same as furturn. 25 JEPPE: Speak Danish, you black dog! 26 Then we can hold our own. PROSECUTOR: Whether a man is caught when he intends to steal or after he has stolen, he is still a thief. JEPPE: Oh merciful judge! I'll gladly hang as long as this lawyer hangs next to me. DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Stop that kind of talk, Jeppe! You'll only hurt your own case even more by it. JEPPE: Then why don't you answer? (Aside.] He stands there like a dumb beast. DEFENSE ATTORNEY: But how is the furandi propositurn proved? 27 PROSECTOR: Quicunque in aedes alienas noctu irrumpit, tanquam fur aut nocturnus grassator existimandus est; atqui reus hie ita, ergo ... 28 DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Nego majorem, quod scilicet irruperit. 29 "Whosoever breaks into the houses of strangers at night shall be considered a thief or nighttime robber, and thus has the accused conducted himself, therefore .. .11 29. Nego ... irruperit: "l reject . the premise, namely that he has broken in."

25. intentio furandi: "intent to steal." furtum: "thievery." 26. The insult "black dog" comes from the practice of the lawyers' wearing black robes. 2 7. furandi propositum: "intention of thievery." 28. Quicunque ... ergo:

I

35

Jeppe of the Hill PROSECUTOR: Res manifesta est, tot legitimis tesibus existantibus, ac confitente reo. 30 DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Quicunque vi vel metu coactus fuerit confiteri ... 31 PROSECUTOR: Where is that vis? Where is that metus? 3 l That's legal chicanery! DEFENSE ATTORNEY: No, you're the one using legal chicanery! PROSECUTOR: No honest man would say that about me! (They grab each other by the lapels while JEPPE fumps in from behind and rips off the PROSECUTOR'S wig.) JuDGE: Respect for the court! Stop it, I've had enough. (Reads the verdict:] Whereas Jeppe of the Hill, Niels' son of the Hill, and Jeppe's grandson of the same place, has been proven by lawful witnesses as well as by his own confession to have unlawfully entered the baron's castle, dressed himself in his clothes, and mistreated his servants: I sentence him to death by poisoning, and when he is dead, his body shall be hanged on a gallows. JEPPE: Oh! Oh, noble judge! Is there no mercy? JuDGE: Absolutely not! The verdict shall be executed at once, in my presence. JEPPE: Oh, can't I have a glass of brandy first, before I drink the poison, so I can die with courage? JuDGE: Yes, that can be allowed. JEPPE: [Drinks a large glass of brandy, falls on his knees and asks:] Is there no mercy? JuDGE: No, Jeppe, it is too late already. JEPPE: Oh! But it's not too late. Your Honor can change the verdict and say he judged wrong the first time. That happens so often; for we are all human. JuDGE: No, in a few minutes you will begin to feel that it is too late, for you already drank the poison in your brandy. JEPPE: Oh, miserable wretch that I am! Have I already swallowed the poison? Goodbye, Nille, you wench; you don't deserve to have me bid you farewell. Goodbye Hans, Niels, and Christoffer! Goodbye my daughter, Marthe! Goodbye, the apple of my eye. I know I'm your father for you were concieved before the deacon arrived; you also have your father's face, we are alike as two drops of water.

30. Res ... reo: "The matter is clear, when so many legal witnesses have come forth, and the accused has confessed."

31. Quicunque ... confiteri: "Whosoever by force or fright has been forced to confess ... " 32· vis: "force." metus: "fright."

!36

ACT V, Scene

I

Goodbye my piebald horse and thanks for all the times I rode you; next to my own children I've loved no beast as much as 1you. Goodbye Fairfax/3 my loyal watchdog; goodbye Moens, my black cat; goodbye my oxen, my sheep, my pigs, and thanks for good company and for every day I've known you. Goodbye ... but I can't go on, I feel so heavy and weak. [He falls down and lies there.] JuDGE: That went well. The potion is already working and he's sleeping like a stone. Now hang him up, but make sure that he is not hurt and that the rope passes only under his arms. Now we'll see how he acts when he wakes up and finds himself being hanged! [They drag him out.] END OF ACT IV

ACT V Scene I Nille - feppe - fudge (JEPPE is hanging on a gallows.] NrLLE: (She pulls her hair, beats her breast, and howls.] Oh,

Oh-h-h! How can it be possible that I should find my good husband hanging there so shamefully on a gallows! Oh-h, my beloved husband! Forgive me if I did anything against you. Oh! Oh! My conscience is stirring; now I'm filled with remorse, but too late. The misery that I caused you; for the first time I miss you, I appreciate what a good man I've lost. Oh! Would that I could save you from death with my own life and blood! [She wipes here eyes and cries bitterly. In the meantime, the sleeping potion has worn off and JEPPE wakes up again, realizes he's hanging on a gallows with his hands tied behind him, hears his wife's wailing and speaks to her.] JEPPE: There, there my dear wife, we must all pass this way. Go home and take care of your house and look after my children. You can cut down my red coat to fit little Chiistoffer, and what's left over Marthe shall have for a hat. Above all, see that my piebald horse is well cared for; I've loved that animal as though he were my own brother. If I weren't dead, I'd tell you some other things. NILLE: Ah-h-h-h! What is this? What do I hear? Can a dead man talk? 33. The English surname "Fairfax," after the well-known British commander Lord Thomas Fairfax, from the time of Oliver Cromwell and the English Civil War (1642-51), became a very popular name for dogs on Zealand. Holberg also uses it in his comedy Jean de France (1722).

137

Jeppe of the Hill JEPPE: Don't be afraid, Nille, I won't hurt you. NILLE: Oh my beloved husband, how can you talk when you're dead? JEPPE: I don't know that myself. But listen my sweet wife, run like wildfire and bring me eight pennies' worth of brandy! I'm thirstier now than when I was alive. NILLE: For shame, you beast! You brute! You poisonous sot! Didn't you drink enough brandy while you were alive? Are you still thirsty, you oaf, now that you're dead? That's what I call a perfect swine. JEPPE: Shut your mouth, trollop, and go get the brandy. If you don't, then by the devil, I'll haunt your house every night. You should know that I'm not afraid of Master Erich anymore; for now I can't feel your beatings! [NrLLE runs home for Master Erich, comes back and beats JEPPE on the gallows.] JEPPE: Oh! Ow! Stop, Nille! Stop! You're going to kill me again! Ow! Ow! JuDGE: Listen, woman! You must not hit him again! Be consoled, for your sake we will forgive your husband's offense and sentence him to life again. NILLE: Oh, no! Gracious Lord, just let him hang! He doesn't deserve to live. JuDGE: For shame! You are a vile woman. Get out of here or we shall hang you there beside him! [NILLE runs out.] Scene 2 Jeppe - The Court [JEPPE is taken down from the gallows.] JEPPE: Oh gracious Judge! Is it true that I'm alive again, or am I a ghost? JuDGE: You are quite alive; for the court that sentenced you to death can also sentence you to life again. 34 Can't you understand that? JEPPE: No, indeed, I don't get it; but I still feel like a spook. JuDGE: You dolt! It's perfectly easy to comprehend. He who takes something from you can give it back again. JEPPE: Then just for fun, can I hang the judge and later see if I can judge him back to life again? JuDGE: It doesn't work like that, for you are no judge. JEPPE: But am I really alive again? 34· This scene where JEPPE is judged back to life is similar to Peder Paars, Book I, Song 3, where the Cook neglects to live again in spite of a new verdict. Holberg again cites Bidermann's Utopia.

ACT V, Scene 3 JuDGE: Yes, you are. JEPPE: Then I'm not a spook? JUDGE: Of course not. JEPPE: Neither am I a ghost? JuDGE: No. JEPPE: And I'm the same Jeppe of the Hill that I was before? JuDGE: Yes. JEPPE: I'm no ghost? JuDGE: Of course not! JEPPE: Will you swear to me that it's true? JuDGE: Yes! I swear that you are alive! JEPPE: Pray the devil take you that it's true. JUDGE: Come on! Take our word and thank us that we have shown mercy enough to sentence you to life again. JEPPE: If you hadn't hanged me yourself, I would have gladly thanked you for letting me down again. JuDGE: Just be content, Jeppe, and let us know when your wife beats you again, then we'll devise some remedy. Look, here are four rix-dollars so you can celebrate for a while; and don't forget to drink one to us! [JEPPE kisses his own hand and offers it in thanks. 35 The CouRT exits.] Scene 3 JEPPE: [Alone.] Now I've lived these half-a-hundred years, but in all that time not so much has happened to me as in these two days. When I think about it, those were the damnedest adventures: one hour a drunken peasant, the next a baron, another hour a peasant again; now dead, then alive again on a gallows, which was the strangest thing. Maybe when they hang living people they die, and when they hang dead people, they come to life again. I think a glass of brandy will taste delicious right now. Hey! Jacob Shoemaker, get out here! Scene 4 facob - feppe JAcoB : Welcome back from town. Did you get the soap for your wife? JEPPE: You rascal! Now you'll find out what kind of a man you're talking to: Take your hat off; for you are a mere scoundrel compared to someone like me! 35· This old-fashioned, honorable greeting was still common among farmers during Holberg's time.

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Jeppe of the Hill JAcoB : I wouldn't stand for such talk from another man, Jeppe. But you grant my house a daily penny, so I won't take it too seriously. JEPPE: Take off your hat, I say, you Shoester! JACOB: What happened to you on the road that made you so high and mighty? JEPPE: You should know, that since I last talked to you, I was hanged. JACOB: That's not much of an honor. I don't envy you that good fortune. Now listen, Jeppe, make your mess where you drank your beer; you got drunk in some other place and then came in my place just to raise hell! JEPPE: Put that hat under your arm, scoundrel! Can't you hear the jingling in my pocket? JACOB: [Puts his hat under his arm.] My god! Where did you get that money? JEPPE: From my barony, Jacob. I'll tell you everything that's happened; but first bring me a glass of mead, for I'm too important to drink Danish brandy. JACOB: Your health, Jeppe! JEPPE: Ah! Now I'll tell you what happened to me: after I left here, I fell down asleep; when I woke up I was a baron and drank myself drunk again on Canary wine; after I got drunk on Canary wine, I woke up again on a dung heap; after I woke up on the dung heap, I went right back to sleep, hoping I'd wake up a baron again. But I found out it doesn't always work, for my wife woke me up with Master Erich and pulled me home by the hair, without showing the least bit of respect for the kind of man I had been. I was no sooner in the house when I was pushed out again on my head and found myself surrounded by a gang of lawenforcing toadies who sentenced me to death and killed me with poison. After I died, I was hanged, and after I was hanged, I came back to life again, and after I came back to life I got four rix-dollars. That's the story, but how it happened I'll let you figure out. JACOB: Ha! Ha! Ha! It was a dream, Jeppe! JEPPE: If I didn't have these four rix-dollars, I'd think it was a dream, too. Give me a fresh one, Jacob; I'm not going to think about that madness any more, instead I'm going to drink 'til I'm drunk as a skunk. JAcoB : Drink up, m'Lord Baron! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! JEPPE: Maybe you can't understand it, Jacob? JACOB: No, not even if I stood on my head.

ACT V, Scene 5 JEPPE: Well, it could still be true, Jacob, for you're a fool and don't understand even the smallest things! Scene 5 Magnus- feppe- Jacob MAGNUS: [Enters laughing.] I must tell you the damnedest story that happened to some man named Jeppe of the Hill. He was found drunk and asleep in a field; they dressed him in fine clothing and laid him in the best bed in the manor. When he woke up again they convinced him he was lord of the manor; then they got him drunk again and laid him in his old dirty clothes backon a dung heap where he woke up and thought he'd been in paradise. I almost laughed myself to death when I heard that story from the overseer's men. I'd gladly give a rix-dollar to see that fool. [Laughs.] JEPPE: How much do I owe you, Jacob? JACOB: Twelve pennies. [JEPPE wipes his mouth and leaves, very ashamed.] MAGNUS: Why'd he leave in such a hurry? JACOB: He's the very man in the story. MAGNUS: Is it possible? I've got to run after him. Listen, Jeppe! A word! How are things in the other world? JEPPE: Leave me alone. MAGNUS: Why didn't you stay there longer? JEPPE: What's it to you? MAGNUS: Come on, tell us a little about your trip. JEPPE: Let me go, I say; I'm warning you! MAGNUS: Come on, Jeppe! I'm anxious to hear something about it. JEPPE: Jacob Shoemaker! Help! Are you going to let him assault me in your own house? MAGNUS: I'm not assaulting anyone, Jeppe! I merely asked what you saw in the other world. JEPPE: Hey! Help! Help! MAGNUS: Did you see any of my ancestors there? JEPPE: No! Your ancestors must be in hell, where I hope you go with all the other scoundrels when you die! [He breaks loose and runs out.] Scene 6 Baron- His Secretary- Valet- Two Lackeys BARON: [Laughing.] That scheme was worth gold! I never imagined it would work so well. If you can amuse me like

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Jeppe of the Hill that more often, Erich, you'll be highly esteemed in my service. ERICH: No, Gracious Lord, I wouldn't dare invent such a comedy more often, for if he had struck m'Lord as he'd threatened, it would have turned into an ugly tragedy. BARON: That certainly is true. I was afraid of that, but I was so caught up in the intrigue that I would rather have let him strike mei. yes, I believe, rather have let him hang you, Erich, than reveal it. You, perhaps, felt the same? ERICH: No, Your Grace! It would be strange to allow yourself to be hanged for pleasurei the cost of such diversion is much too high. BARON: Why, Erich! It happens everydayi people, if not for one reason, then for another, throw away their lives for the sake of carnal pleasure. For example, one who has a weak character, and clearly sees that drunkenness will cost his life and healthi but he ruins his body and often risks his life and health for an evening's pleasure. In another way: the great ministers in Turkey are gladly strangled or choked to death with a rope, some the same day they become ministers, others a few days lateri and yet everyone rushes there just so they can be hanged with a great title. Still in another way: officers readily risk each other's life and soul to earn a reputation for valor, dueling over nothing, even against their betters whom they know will kill them. I also believe there are many hundreds of lovers who would quickly let themselves be killed in the morning for one night of pleasure. In sieges we often see soldiers desert their regiments in droves, running to the besieged city, which they know will soon surrender, to live well for one day, knowing they will be hanged the next. One way is no more sensible than the other. In the olden days, one would see philosophers plunge themselves into disasters merely to be praised after their deaths. 36 Therefore, Erich, I believe, without reservation, that you would have allowed yourself to be hanged rather than spoil this delightful joke. Listen, dearest children, be instructed by this story: We've demonstrated clearly that peasants thrust to glory Pose as much a danger as those who would, by knavery, 36. The Greek philosopher Empedocles (ca. 483-424 B.c.), according to legend, threw himself into the crater of Mt. Aetna, so that by his disappearance he would be thought to have been taken up amongst the gods. 142

ACT V, Scene 6 Depose one who earned greatness by industry and bravery. When peasants, overnight, are given notoriety, The scepter meant to rule can be turned into impiety. When moved above his station, this momentary hero, Without the proper training, becomes a ruthless Nero. Did Caligula or Phalaris, those tyrants of antiquity37 Ever misuse power more than Jeppe's gross iniquity? He brought down plagues upon us in his new found jurisdiction, With beatings, railing, gallows, and injurious afflictions. If we follow the old customs and make this ancient error, Each nobleman's estate could sustain a reign of terror. So leave the workmen in the fields, avoid the awful specter Of elevating peasantsi beating ploughshare into scepter. THE END

37· Nero (37-68 A.D.), was emperor of Rome (54-68 A.D.). Caligula (u4I A.D.) was emperor of Rome (37-41 A.D.). Phalaris (ca. 57o-554 B.c.) was a Greek tyrant in ancient Agrigentum, Sicily. All three were notoriously cruel and depraved.

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Erasmus Montanus OR RASMUS BERG

A COMEDY IN FIVE ACTS BY LUDVIG HOLBERG

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Erasmus Montanus is listed in Just Justesen's introduction to the first volume of comedies, it was written by May I723 and was one of the 11 ten others which lay finished" (I723, rpt. Comoedier, val. 3, I922, p. 6I3). It first appeared in publication in volume 5 of Holberg's Den Danske Skue-Plads in I73I. Its premier performance did not materialize until I 74 7, the first season of the reopened Danish theatre, which performed in temporary quarters at restaurateur Christian Berg's on Lrederstrrede. The first productions were not terribly successful; the specific satire was no longer topical, and not enough , time had passed to give the play an interesting historical perspective. In I884 Georg Brandes declared Erasmus Montanus "The deepest of all Holberg plays, and the one in which he is most original," as well as "our literary world's deepest artistic work" (Ludvig Holberg rpt. I969, pp. I 53-57). Since that time, it has been usually ranked literarily as the best Holberg comedy. Much has been written about the lapse of time between the writing of the play and its publication, but it has not been satisfactory: perhaps the student-actors did not think the play worthy of production, or perhaps they did not want to get into trouble at the university, or perhaps Holberg was trying to protect the students from their professors. All too little has been written about the most likely reason: Holberg did not want to get himself into more trouble at the university, nor risk censorship at his theatre. Holberg came to the university only six years earlier, in I7I7, and into the subject he detested, metaphysics. At his induction, Holberg filled his required formal, ceremonious laudation of metaphysics with irony and later referred to it as a funeral oration. He then tried unsuccessfully to introduce modem European concepts of education to the university. His only personal successes, his two short Latin polemics against Andreas Hojer (I 7 I 9) and then Peder Paars (I7I9-20), had caused an uproar in some important circles. His depiction of a disputation in Peder Paars (Book I, Song 3) caused a storm of protest amongst his colleagues. Holberg had now written an even stronger attack on disputations. Even though the last of those was held at the University of Copenhagen in I?IO, the topic was still extremely sensitive. But Erasmus is more than a treatise against disputations. Holberg is writing about his own profession and his academic philosophy is interwoven throughout the fabric of the satire. It is only here, in this comedy, that Holberg speaks out directly for his own theories of university education. Erasmus Montanus is the prototypic sophomore, the wise fool. He has learned the acaINc E

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Erasmus Montanus demic form for disputations that goes back to the ancient Greeks, but he has not learned the purpose of disputations or a discipline. Holberg is fighting the misplaced educational ideal that it is of foremost importance to have the last word, to leave the fight as victor. Content is of no importance; a true academic does not need to know anything about the subject, only how to set up and defend a syllogism, no matter how ludicrous its conclusion. The deductive, mathematical, or scientific method held little for Holberg; he considered the gathering of life-experience as all-important. Thus we see the unlearned brother, Jacob, make Holberg's point that a talented farmer who understands how to improve his land has a better education than an academic who merely knowshow to read books without ariy practical application. To Holberg, the only things worth learning were those that were beneficial to society. Holberg presents his final summation through his second mouthpiece, the lieutenant, who informs Erasmus that he brings learning into contempt. If he represents the fruits of education, then people will wish that books were never written, that a learned man should be "more temperate, modest, and accommodating in his speech.... The first commandment of philosophy is to know oneself." And so Holberg teaches natural law. When Erasmus Montanus was first written, it was Holberg's most biting satire; it was the author against the system. But he realized that a production of this comedy, this treatise justifying his life's philosophy of natural law, would be as Don Quixote tilting against a windmill and that it would cause more harm than good. So Holberg's action of holding back the play until a less-explosive time demonstrates how he was also reasonable.

Characters in the Comedy

MONT ANUS JEPPE BERG, his Father NILLE, his Mother JACOB, his Brother LIS BED, his Betrothed JERONIMUS, her Father MAGDELONE, her Mother DEACON PER JESPER, the Overseer A Lieutenant Corporal Niels

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Erasmus Montanus OR RASMUS BERG BY LUDVIG HOLBERG

ACT I Scene 1 JEPPE: [Alone, holding a letter.] What a shame that the deacon isn't in town, for there's so much Latin in my son's letter that I can't understand. My eyes fill with tears when I think that the son of a poor peasant has become so booklearned; especially since we're not even the university's peasants. 1 I've heard from those who understand learning that my son can debate with any pastor you can name. Ah! If my wife and I could only have the joy of hearing him preach here in our village before we die, we wouldn't regret any of the money we've spent on him. I can certainly see that Deacon Per isn't too anxious to have my son come home. I think he's afraid of Rasmus Berg. It's terrible with learned people; they're so jealous of each other, the one not liking that the other is also learned. Our good deacon delivers beautiful sermons here in town. He can preach about jealousy until tears fill your eyes; but I don't think he's quite free from the fault himself! I don't know where they get that; if someone says that my neighbor understands farming better than me, should I take it to heart? Should I hate my neighbor for that? No! That's not how Jeppe Berg does it! Well, would you look at that, it's Deacon Per. Scene 2 [eppe - Deacon Per JEPPE: Welcome home, Per! PER : Thank you, Jeppe Berg. JEPPE: My dear, Per! If only you could explain some Latin in my son's last letter. PER: Such talk! Do you think I don't understand Latin 1. Literally "not of the highly educateds' peasants." That is, the peasants who worked the land owned by the university.

ISO

ACT I, Scene

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as well as your son? I'm an old academicus, I am, Jeppe Berg. JEPPE: I know that! I meant, can you understand the new Latin? I'm sure it must change just like the Danish we speak on Zealand. When I was young, we here in the village didn't talk the same way we do now. What we now call a lackey, we used to call a boy; what we now call a mistress was then a whore; a young lady back then was a maid; a musician was a fiddler; and a secretary, a scribe. So I thought the Latin may also have changed since you were in Copenhagen. Could you please explain this for me? I can read the letters, but I can't get their meaning. PER: You son writes that he is now studying his logicam, rhetoricam, and metaphysicam. JEPPE: Logicam? What does that mean? PER: That would be his pulpit. JEPPE: I love that; I wish he would become a pastor. PER : But a deacon first. JEPPE: What's that second item? PER: That's called rhetorica. In Danish that means The Ritual. 2 But this third item must be wrong, either that or it's French. If it were Latin I could understand it. I am capable of reciting the entire Aurora, 3 Jeppe Berg: Ala, that means a wing, ancilla a girl, brabra a beard, coena a chamber pot, cerevisia beer, campana a bell ringer, cella a cellar, lagena a bottle, lana a wolf, ancilla a girl, janua a door, and cerevisia butter. 4 JEPPE: You must have a damned fine memory, Per! PER: True. I didn't think I'd have to stay in a poor deacon's calling for so long. I certainly could have been something else long ago if I'd have bound myself to a woman. 5 But I'd rather get by with what I have than hear people say that I earn my bread by my wife. JEPPE: But dear Per, here's some more Latin that I don't understand. See that line? PER: Die veneris Hafnia domum profecturus sum. That's

2. The Danish and Norwegian Church Ritual (I68s), which prescribed the church ordinances. 3· Aurora Latinitatis was a commonly used beginner's Latin grammar and glossary used in Danish schools; first edition, 1638. 4· The incorrect items on Per's

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list are: brabra, a comic variation of barba, a beard; coena, the Romans' midday dinnertime, campana, a churchbell; lana, wool; 2lld cerevisia, beer. 5. To obtain a calling, the new pastor was often required to marry the widow of his predecessor.

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Erasmus Montanus very highfalutin, but I can understand it well enough even though it would split the head of another. In Danish it means, "There has come profecto a horde of rushers to Copenhagen. " 6 JEPPE: What are the Russians doing there again? 7 PER: They aren't Muscovites, Jeppe Berg. These are young students that are called "rushers." 8 JEPPE: Now I get it! Isn't there a lot of commotion during the days when they get their sa:lt and'bread and become studentst PER: When do you expect Rasmus back home? JEPPE: Today or tomorrow. Please stay a minute, Per, I'll run in and have Nille bring out some beer. PER: l'd rather have a glass of brandy; it's too early for beer. Scene 3 PER: [Alone.] To tell the truth, I'm not very anxious for Rasmus Berg to get home. It's not because I'm afraid of his education; after all, I was already an old student when he was still a schoolboy and, if you'll excuse the expression, was still getting whacked on the butt. Those who became students in my day were a different breed than those nowadays. I graduated from Slagelse School with Per Monsen, Rasmus Jespersen, Christen Klim, Mads Hansen, whom the schoolboys nicknamed Pancake Mads, and Poul Iversen, whom we nicknamed Potted Poul. Each fellow had plenty of guts, hair on his chin, and was capable of debating any subject. I only became a deacon, but I'm content so long as I get my daily bread and understand my duties. I've been improving my income a lot and live better than any of my predecessors, so those who follow me won't curse me in my grave. People think there's nothing to being a deacon; yeah, sure! Believe me, the deacon's calling is very difficult when you must carry it far enough to provide for you. 6. Die ... sum: "On Friday I will travel home from Copenhagen." profecto: "truthfully." 7· In 1716, Peter the Great, who was Denmark's ally in her war against Sweden, and twenty thousand Russian soldiers were encamped near Copenhagen for about two months. 8. "Russer": in Danish, an excellent pun on the equivalents of

"Russian" and "freshman." We have attempted to maintain the pun by using "rusher" as in "one who rushes a fraternity." 9. When students matriculated into the university, a symbolic ritual was performed wherein a little salt was placed on their tongues and a little wine was poured over their heads. The bread is Jeppe's misunderstanding.

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ACT I, Scene 4 Before my time, the people here in town thought one funeral hymn was as good as the other, but I've carried it so far that I can say to a peasant, "Which hymn do you want? This one costs so much and that one so much." It's the same with tossing soil on the deceased, "Do you want fine sand or plain old dirt?" There are other considerations that my predecesor, Deacon Christoffer, never even heard of! But he wasn't learned. I can't understand how that man ever became a deacon. But he was a deacon accordingly. Latin helps a man a lot in all of his business. I wouldn't do without my Latin, not for a hundred rix-dollars! It's already benefited me in my calling more than a hundred rix-dollars, yes and a hundred more. Scene 4 Nille - Jeppe - Per NrLLE: [Brings PER a drink.] To your health, Per! PER: Thanks, Little Mother. 10 I don't usually drink brandy, except when I have a stomachache; but I usually have a bad stomach. NrLLE: Per, do you know that my son is coming home today or tomorrow? Now there's a man you'll be able to talk to! From what I hear, that boy has a silver tongue. PER: I'm certain he can speak a whole lot of Cloister Latin.u NrLLE: Cloister Latin? That's the best Latin just like cloister linen is the best linen? PER: [Laughs.] JEPPE: What are you laughing at, Per? PER: It's nothing, Jeppe Berg. To your health for another glass! Cheers to you, Little Mother. [Laughs.] What you say is true, cloister linen is the best linen. But ... NrLLE: If the linen isn't made in a cloister, why do they call it cloister linen? PER: You have a point there. [Laughs.] But, do you have something I could nibble with this brandy? ro. "Morlil," "Moer lille," and "Moerlille" are variations of a term of endearment, that has no English equivalent, and which may be applied to wives, mothers, and/or grandmothers in a variety of ways from sweet and respectful to somewhat sarcastic. Rather than invent a variety of translation choices, or depend upon the often incorrect dictionary choice I

"granny," we have opted for the more literal translation "Little Mother," and rely upon context to supply subtleties of meaning. We use "Little Father" in the same manner. 1 r. "Cloister Latin" was incorrect Latin. "Cloister linen," however, was the finest German linen.

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Erasmus Montanus NILLE: Here is some sliced bread and cheese, if you won't refuse that. PER: Thank you, Little Mother. Do you know what "bread" is called in Latin? NILLE: I have no idea. PER: (Eats and talks at the same time.] It's called panis, genetivus pani, dativus pano, vocativus panus, ablativus pano. 12 JEPPE: Good heavens, Per, that language is complicated! What is the name for coarse bread? PER: It's called panis gravis and fine bread is panis finis. 13 JEPPE: Why that's half Danish! PER: Yes, that's right. There are many Latin words that have their origin in Danish. Let me explain. There was an old principal of Copenhagen School named Saxo Grammatica, 14 who improved Latin here in this country. He also wrote a Latin Grammatica; that's how he got the name, Saxo Grammatica. This man, Saxo, fixed the Latin language with many Danish words. Before his time, Latin was such a poor language it was impossible to write a sentence that people could understand. JEPPE: But what does the word grammatica mean? PER : The same as Donat. 15 When a book is bound in Turkish binding, 16 it's called a Donat; but when it's bound in white leather it's called a Grammatica and is conjugated the same as ala. NILLE: I'll never understand how people keep all of that in their heads. My head swims just hearing you talk about it. JEPPE: That's why learned people usually aren't quite right in the head. NILLE: Nonsense! Do you mean that our son, Rasmus Berg, isn't quite right? JEPPE: I just think, Little Mother, that it's at least a little strange that he writes Latin letters to me. PER: Jeppe's certainly right about that. It is a little foolish.

12. Per is wrongly conjugating the Latin noun panis. 13. gravis: "heavy." finis: "the end." I4· Saxo Grammaticus (died ca. r22o), probably the secretary of Bishop Absalon, the founder of Copenhagen, and author of the chronicle Gesta Danorum

(published rsr4). He was never principal of any school. I 5. Donat: a generic name for Latin grammar books for beginners, named after Donatus, the fourth century Roman scholar. r6. Turkish binding was done in red and blue marbled paper.

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ACT I, Scene 4 It'd be like me trying to speak Greek to the overseer just to show off that I know the language. JEPPE: Do you understand Greek, too, Per? PER: Well, twenty years ago I could stand on one foot and read the entire Litany in Greek. I can still remember the last word: Am.en. 17 JEPPE: Oh, Per! When my son comes home it's going to be so much fun getting the two of you together. PER: He's found his match if he wants to debate with me; and if he wants to compete with me in singing, he'll also come up short. I sang against ten deacons who all gave up because I sustained "We Believe" longer than all ten of them, 18 'fen years ago-1-was asked-to-be the choirmaster for the School of Our Lady, but I didn't accept. Why should I, Jeppe? Why should I leave my congregation, which loves and honors me and which I love and honor in return. I live in the place where I have my daily bread and where I'm respected by everyone. The magistrate never comes to town without sending for me to pass some time with him and sing. Last year at this time he gave me two marks because I sang ut, re, mi, fa, sol. He swore that he enjoyed that more than any vocal music he'd ever heard in Copenhagen. If you give me another glass of brandy, Jeppe, I'll sing the same thing for you. JEPPE: My pleasure! Pour another glass of brandy, Nille. PER: Now I don't sing for just anyone; but you're my good friend, Jeppe, and it's my pleasure to be at your service. [He begins to howl, slowly at first.] Ut, re, mi, fa, sol, la, si, ut. Now backwards: ut, si, la, sol, fa, mi, re, ut. Now you'll hear it another way, how high I can go: ut, re, mi, fa, sol, la, si, ut, re, mi, fa, sol, la, si, ut, re. 19 JEPPE: Zounds! That last one was really high. Our little piglets can't squeal higher than that! PER: Now I'll sing it fast: ut, re, mi, re ... No, that was wrong. Ut, re, mi, do, re, mi, ut ... No, that came out wrong, too. It's damned hard to sing that fast, Jeppe. But look, there is Monsieur Jeronimus. 17. The Litany was the prescribed Latin (i.e., not Greek) prayer read in the Danish church on special occasions. "Amen" is, of course, Hebrew. 18. Per means that in the hymn "We Believe, We All Believe in God," he could hold the note on "we" longer than the others. See I

also Jeppe of the Hill, Act I, Sc. 3· 19. In consulting four major editions of Erasmus Montanus, no consistency was found in the transcription of Per's scales. We, therefore, chose to render them to the best advantage of English comprehension and context.

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Erasmus Montanus Scene 5 feronimus - Magdelone- Lisbed- Per- feppe- Nille JERONIMUS: Good morning, In-laws! Do you have any news from your son? JEPPE: Yes. I believe he's arriving either today or tomorrow. LIS BED: Is it possible? Now my dream has come true. JERONIMUS: What did you dream? LISBED: I dreamed that I slept with him tonight. MAGDELONE: There's really something to dreams. Dreams shouldn't be scorned. JERONIMUS: That's true enough, but if you girls didn't think about men so much during the day, yeu weuldn't dream about them so much at night. You dreamed about me just as much back in the days when we were engaged, didn't you Magdelone? MAGDELONE: That's certainly true; but now I haven't dreamed about you for several years. JERONIMUS: That's because our passion isn't as hot as it was back then. LISBED: Is it really possible that Rasmus Berg is coming home tomorrow? JERONIMUS: Come, daughter; you shouldn't show yourself to be so love-sick. LISBED: Are you sure that he's coming home tomorrow? JERONIMUS: Yes, yes, you've heard right. That's when he's coming. LIS BED: How long is it until tomorrow, Father dear? JERONIMUS: What damned nonsense. Love-sick people act as though they're crazy. LIS BED: Yes, in faith I count every hour. JERONIMUS: You should ask how long an hour is, then we'll think you're completely mad. Stop your gibberish and let your parents talk. Listen, my dear Jeppe Berg. Do you think it's advisable for these two young people to live together before he gets a post? JEPPE: It's just as you say! I could support them, but it would be better for him first to get a post. JERONIMUS: I absolutely do not think it's advisable for them to get married before that. LISBED: (Cries and howls.] JERONIMUS: Shame on you! It's disgraceful for a girl to act like that. LISBED: (Crying.] Will he get a post soon then? JEPPE: There's no doubt that he'll get a post soon. From

ACT I, Scene 6 what I've heard, he's so smart he can read any book there is. He recently wrote me a letter in Latin. NILLE: And the deacon sure as hell knows it can stand alone. LIS BED: Is it that well written? PER: Yes. Well enough for such a young man. He'll amount to something, Mameselle. Oh, he's got a ways to go. When I was his age I thought I was learned, too, but ... JEPPE: Yes, well, you learned people never compliment each other. PER: Nonsense! Should I envy him? Before he was even born I'd been whipped in school three times and by the time he was in the fourth grade I'd been a deacon for eight years. JEPPE: One can have a sharper mind than another. One can learn as much in one year as others can in ten. PER: Well Deacon Per isn't afraid to go head to head with anyone! JERONIMUS: Yes, yes, each can be good in his own way. Now let's go home children. Goodbye, Jeppe! I just stopped to chat because I was passing by. LIS BED: Oh, let me know the second he arrives. Scene 6 feppe - Nille - Per- Jacob [JACOB enters after the others are out of sight.] JEPPE: What is it, Jacob? JAcoB : Father! Guess what? Rasmus Berg is already home! JEPPE: Zounds! Is it possible? How does he look? JACOB: Oh, he looks very learned. Rasmus Nielsen, who drove him, swears that all he did on the way home was debate with himself in Greek and Persian. Several times he got so carried away that he struck Rasmus Nielsen three or four times in the back of the neck with his fist, shouting the whole time, "Probe ma;oren, probe majoren/" 20 I guess he had a dispute with a major just before he left Copenhagen. Sometimes he sat very still and stared at the moon and the stars with such concentration that he fell out of the wagon three times and nearly broke his neck out of sheer learning. Rasmus Nielsen laughed at him and said to himself, "Rasmus Berg may be knowledgeable about heaven, but he's an ass on earth!" JEPPE: Let's go and greet him. Listen Per, come with us. He 20. Comic variation of Probe maiorem: in logic, "Prove the major premise."

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Erasmus Montanus may have forgotten his Danish and can speak nothing but Latin; then you can be the interpreter. PER: What a shame, but I have other business. END OF ACT

I

ACT II Scene 1 ERASMUS MONT ANUS: (Alone.] (His stockings are falling around his ankles.] I've only been away from Copenhagen one day and I already long for it. If I didn't have my good books with m.e I couldn't live in the. country, Stl:l.dia secundas res ornant, adversis solatium praebent. 21 I feel as though part of me is missing because I've gone three days without a debate. I don't know if there are any learned people here in town. If there are, I'll put them to work, for I can't live without disputations! I can't talk much with my poor parents; they're simple folks and don't know much more than their childhood catechism, so their association doesn't provide much comfort. The deacon and the schoolmaster are supposed to be learned, but I don't know how far their learning goes. I'll make it my business to find out. My parents were startled that I got home so early. They didn't expect me to leave Copenhagen at night. (He strikes a match and lights his pipe, inserting the long stem through a hole in the brim of his hat, which is lying on the table beside his books. This allows him to smoke his pipe and have both hands free.] This is what one calls smoking tobacco collegiate; it's a fine invention for one who wants to write and smoke at the same time. [He sits down to read.] Scene 2 Montanus - Jacob JACOB: [Kisses his own hand and extends it to his brother.] 22 Welcome home again my Latin brother! MoNT ANus: It's a pleasure to see you, Jacob. But about this brotherhood, it was something good in the old days, but it's no longer appropriate. JACOB: How's that? Aren't you my brother? 21. Studia ... praebent: "Study provides beauty to good days and solace to bad ones." Abbreviated

from Cicero's Pro Archia (Ch. 7). 22. See feppe of the Hill, note 35.

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ACT II, Scene

2

MoNT ANUS: I don't deny, scoundrel, that I'm your brother by birth! But surely you understand that you are still a peasant boy while I'm a Philosophiae Baccalaureus. But listen, Jacob, how are my sweetheart and my father-in-law? JAcoB : Very well. They were just here asking how soon Brother would come home. MoNT ANUS: What? "Brother" again? I don't say this out of conceit, Jacob, but that is profecto not acceptable. JACOB: Then what should I call Brother? MoNTANUS: You shall address me as "Monsieur Montanus." That is my name in Copenhagen. JAcoB-: U l-ean only remember thaL Was it Monsewer Dromedarius? MoNT ANUS: Can't you hear? I said Monsieur Montanus. JACOB: Monsewer Montanus, Monsewer Montanus ... MoNT ANUS: That's right. You see, "Montanus" in Latin is the same as "Berg" in Danish. JACOB: Then can't I be called Monsewer Jacob Montanus? MoNT ANUS: After you've gone to school as long as I have and passed your examina, then you may also take a Latin name. But so long as you're a peasant boy you'll have to be satisfied with plain Jacob Berg. But have you noticed if my sweetheart missed me? JACOB: For sure. She's been very impatient at your being gone for so long, Brother. MONT ANUS: Don't get familiar with me, you oaf! JACOB: I meant to say that Monsewer's sweetheart is impatient because you have been gone so long. MoNT ANUS: Well now I'm home, Jacob, and for her sake alone. But I won't age much around here, for as soon as the wedding is over I'm taking her to Copenhagen. JAcoB: Can I go with Monsewer? MoNTANUS: What would you do there? JACOB: I want to see a little of the world. MoNT ANUS: I wish you were six or seven years younger. I'd enroll you in grammar school so you could also become a university student. JACOB: No, that wouldn't work. MoNTANus: Why not? JACOB: Then our parents would really have to start begging. MoNT ANus : Listen to the words coming from that fellow's mouth! JAcoB: Yes, I'm full of ideas. If I had studied I would have been a devilish rogue. I

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Erasmus Montanus MoNT ANus: I've heard that you have a good head on your shoulders. What else would you do in Copenhagen? JACOB: I'd love to see the Round Tower and that cloister where they weave the linen. MONT ANus: [Laughs.] No, they have more to do in the cloister than weave linen! By the way, is my father-in-law as well-heeled as they say? JAcoB : For sure, Jeronimus is a rich old man; he owns almost a third of the town. MoNT ANus: But have you heard if he intends to provide a trousseau for his daughter? JACOB: Yes, I think he'll start her off well fixed, especially if he gets to hear Monsewer preach sometime here in town. MONT ANus: There'll be none of that. I wouldn't stoop so low as to preach here in the country. Besides, I'm interested only in disputation. JACOB: I thought it was more to be able to preach. MoNT ANus: Do you have any idea what it is to dispute? JACOB: Of course! Everyday I dispute with the maids here in the house, but I haven't gained anything from it. MoNT ANus: Yes, we certainly have enough of that kind of disputation. JAcoB: Then what is it that Monsewer disputes? MoNT ANus: I dispute about important and learned matters. For example, if angels were created before men? If the earth is round or oval? About the moon, sun, and stars, their size and distance from the earth, and other such matters. 23 JAcoB: No, I wouldn't dispute that; it doesn't concern me. If I can only get the servants to work, I don't care if they say the world has eight sides. MoNT ANUS: 0 animal brutum/ 24 But listen, Jacob, has anyone let my sweetheart know that I've come home? JACOB: No, I don't think so. MONT ANus: Then you'd better run over to Mr. Jeronimus and inform them. JACOB: Yes, I could do that, but shouldn't I tell Lisbed first? MONTANUS: Lisbed? Who's that? JACOB: Brother! Don't you know that your betrothed's name is Lisbed? MoNT ANus: Scoundrel! Have you already forgotten everything I just taught you? 23. As late as I?ro, some academic disputations at the University of Copenhagen dealt

with such topics. 24. A animal brutum: "You dumb ass."

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ACT II, Scene 3 JACOB: You can call me a scoundrel all you want, I'm still your brother. MONT ANUS: If you don't watch your mouth, I'll profecto hit you over the head with my book! JAcoB : It's not nice to throw the Bible at people. MONT ANUS: This is no Bible. JAcoB : I can certainly recognize the Bible. That book is so big it has to be the Bible. I can see that it's neither a Gospel book nor the Catechism. But no matter what it is or isn't, it's a disgrace to throw books at your brother. MoNT ANUS: Shut up, you scoundrel! JACOB: Yes! I'm the kind of scoundrel who works with his own hands to earn £or my parents the money you spend. MONT ANUS: If you don't hold your tongue I'll mutilate you! [Throws the book at JAcoB.] JACOB: Ow, ow, ow! Scene 3 feppe - Nille - Montanus - Jacob JEPPE: What's all the racket? JACOB: My brother, Rasmus, hit me! NILLE: What is that supposed to mean? He wouldn't hit you for no reason. MoNT ANUs: That's true, Mother. He came in here shooting off his mouth as though he were my equal. NILLE: You damned hellion! Don't you know enough to respect such an educated man? Don't you know that he is an honor for our entire house? My dear Son, don't blame him; he's just an ignorant lout. MoNT ANUS: I was sitting here contemplating important matters when this importunissimus and audacissimus juvenis barged in and interrupted me. It isn't child's play to work with these transcendentalibus. I would have given two marks to prevent that. 25 JEPPE: Oh, don't be angry, my dear son, it won't happen again. I'm so afraid my son has become too excited. These learned people can't stand much shock. I know Deacon Per got so excited once he still hadn't recovered after three days. MoNTANus: Deacon Per? Is he learned? JEPPE: Oh, yes! As far back as I can remember, we haven't had a deacon in this town who could sing as well as he can. 25. importunissimus: "most shameless." audacissimus juvenis: "most audacious juvenile." tianscendentalibus: "transcendental things," i.e., the fundamental cognitive concepts.

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Erasmus Montanus MoNT ANus: By that he could be quite unlearned. JEPPE: He also preaches beautifully. MoNT ANus: By that he could still lack learning. NrLLE: Oh no, my son! How can a man who preaches well lack learning? MoNT ANUS: Easily, Little Mother. All unlearned people preach well. You see, since they're not able to write something on their own, they borrow sermons and memorize the writings of great men, sometimes not understanding it themselves. But on the other hand a learned man would not take advantage of that. He would compose something on his own. Believe me, it's a common mistake here in this country, to judge students' learning too much by their sermons. But let these fellows dispute, like me; that's the touchstone of learning. I can debate in good Latin on any matter whatsoever: If someone claims that this table is a candlestick, I'll defend it; if someone claims that meat or bread is straw, I'll defend that, too. I've done it honorably many times. Listen, Little Father, would you believe that a man who drinks well is blessed? JEPPE: I'd sooner believe that he's not blessed because he can drink away his reason and his money. MoNT ANUS: I'll prove that he is blessed. Quicunque bene bibit, bene dormit .. . Oh1 that's right! You don't understand Latin. I have to say it in Danish. He who drinks well usually sleeps well. Isn't that true? JEPPE: Thaes true enough. When I'm half drunk I sleep like a horse. MoNT ANUS: He who sleeps well sins not. lsn 1t that also true? JEPPE: Yes, that's true enough. You can't sin so long as you're asleep. MoNT ANUS: He who does not sin is blessed. JEPPE: That's true. MoNT ANUS: Ergo, 26 he who drinks well is blessed. Little Mother, I'll tum you into a stone. NrLLE: What nonsense! That's even more difficult. MoNT ANUS: Just listen: A stone cannot fly. NrLLE: That's true enough, unless someone throws it. MONT ANUS: You cannot fly. NrLLE: That's also true. MoNTANus: Ergo, Little Mother is a stone. NrLLE: (Begins to cry.] 26. Ergo: "therefore."

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ACT II, Scene 4 MoNT ANus: Why are you crying, Mother? NILLE: Oh! I'm afraid that I am turning into stone! My legs are already getting cold. MoNTANus: Don't worry, Little Mother. I shall quickly turn you back into a person. A stone can neither think nor talk. NILLE: That's true. I don't know if it can think, but it can't talk. MoNT ANUS: Mother can talk. NILLE: Yes, thank God, as a poor peasant woman I can talk. MoNT ANus: Good. Ergo, Mother is not a stone. NILLE: Oh that did me goodi I'm beginning to feel like myself again: It certainly takes a strong head to study. I don't see how your brain can hold out. Jacob! From now on you must serve your brother. You don't have to do anything else. If your parents see that you cause him any trouble, you'll be whipped within an inch of your life! MoNT ANus: Little Mother, I want to break his habit of being so familiar with me. It isn't proper for a peasant boy to be familiar with a learned man. I'd prefer that he calls me Monsieur. JEPPE: Now you listen good, Jacob, from now on when you talk to your brother you must call him Monsewer. MoNT ANUS: I'd like you to invite the deacon here today so I can find out what he's made of. JEPPE: Yes, of course, it shall be done. MoNT ANUS: In the meantime, I'm going to visit my sweetheart. NILLE: I'm afraid it's going to rain. Jacob can carry your cloak behind you. MONT ANUS: Jacob. JAcoB: Yes, Monsewer? MONT ANus: Come, carry my cloak behind mei I'm going out. (JAcoB follows him out with the cloak.) Scene 4 feppe - Nille

JEPPE: Isn't our son a joy, Nille. NILLE: True. There wasn't one penny wasted on him. JEPPE: Today we'll find out what the deacon's made of. But I'm afraid he won't come if he knows that Rasmus Berg is here. We don't have to let him know! We'll also invite the overseer. He'll surely come because he likes our beer. NILLE: It's dangerous, Husband, to provide for the overseer.

Erasmus Montanus That kind of person must not know too much about our affairs. JEPPE: He's welcome to know; everyone in town knows that we're well-fixed. If we pay our taxes and land-use fees, the ove:rseer can't touch a hair on our heads. NrLLE: My dear husband, is it really too late to let Jacob become a student? Just think, if he became as learned as his brother, what joy it would bring to his old parents. JEPPE: No, Wife, the one is enough! We have to have one at home who can help us and do our work. NILLE: Yes, but that kind of work will never earn him more than a hand-to-mouth existence. But Rasmus Berg, who has studied, can benefit our house more in one hour with his brain than Jacob can in a year. JEPPE: That doesn't help, Little Mother. Our fields still must be tilled and our crops raised. We can't possibly get along without Jacob. Look, he's coming back. Scene 5

Jacob- feppe- Nille JAcoB: [Laughing.] My brother may well be a very learned man, but he's also a great fool! NILLE: You vicious scoundrel! Do you call your brother a fool! JAcoB: I don't know another name for it, Little Mother. The rain poured down and he just let me walk behind him with the cloak over my arm. JEPPE: Couldn't you have been polite enough to say, "Monsewer, it's raining. Wouldn't Monsewer like his cloak?" JACOB: I think it's very strange, Little Father, when it's raining so hard that he's wet clear through to his shirt, that I should say to the person who cost his parents so much money to learn wisdom and culture, "It's raining, Monsewer, don't you want to wear your cloak?" He didn't need my warning, the rain could warn him well enough about it. JEPPE: So you walked the whole way carrying the cloak? JACOB: I certainly did not. I wrapped myself up nicely in it, so my clothes are completely dry. I understood that better even though I haven't wasted so much money to learn wisdom. I grasped it even though I don't know one Latin letter. JEPPE: Your brother was lost in thought, which is quite normal for such learned people.

ACT III, Scene

I

JACOB: [Laughs.) To the devil with that kind of learning! JEPPE: Shut up you scoundrel, or you'll get a fat lip! Who cares if your brother sometimes walks lost in thought? There are plenty of other ways he can demonstrate his wisdom and the fruits of his studies. JACOB: The fruits of his studies? Let me tell you what else happened in our travels. When we got to Jeronimus' gate, he walked right to the side where the watchdog stood. It would have gnawed on his learned leg if I hadn't pulled him in the other direction. Watchdogs aren't prejudiced; they judge strangers equally and indiscriminantly bite any leg they can catch, no matter if its Latin or Greek. When we got into the yard, Monsewer Rasmus Berg absentmindedly walked into the stable and yelled, "Hey! Is Jeronimus home?" But the cows all turned their rumps on him and refused to answer. I'm sure that if any of them could talk they would have said, "What a damned fool that guy must be!" NILLE: My dear husband! Will you put up with that kind of talk? JEPPE: Jacob, you'll be in deep trouble if you go on talking like that! JACOB: No! Instead, Little Father, you should thank me! I'm the one who showed him the way and led him out of the stable and into the living room. Just think, Little Father, what would happen if such a fellow went on a long trip ~alone! I'm convinced if I hadn't been with him, he'd still be in the stable, gazing at some cow's ass from pure learning. JEPPE: Now you're going to get one right in your fresh mouth! [JACOB runs out with JEPPE chasing him.] NILLE: What a damned scoundrel! Well, I'm sending for the deacon and the overseer so my son will have somebody to dispute with when he comes back. END OF ACT II

ACT III Scene 1 Nille - Jeppe - Montanus

NILLE: My son Montanus has been gone quite a while. I wish he'd get back before the overseer leaves. You see, the overseer really wants to talk to him and is eager to ask him about one thing and another which ... But there I see him coming! Welcome back, my dear son. I'll bet the good Jeronimus was happy to see our respected son in such good health after being away so long.

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Erasmus Montanus MoNT ANUS: I haven't talked to either Jeronimus or his daughter because I was disputing with that fellow. NrLLE: What fellow? Do you mean the schoolmaster? MoNT ANus: No, it was a stranger who is leaving town today. I know him well enough, even though I had no association with him in Copenhagen. It kills me when people try to pass themselves off as having absorbed all wisdom and yet act like idiots. I'll tell you how it is, Little Mother: That fellow has been ordinarius opponens once or twice, which make up all of his merita. But how did he execute his partes I Misere et haesitanter absque methodo. When praeses once distinguished inter rem et modum rei, he asked, "Quid hoc estl" The scoundrel! You should have learned that antequam in arenam descendis. Quid hoc esU Quae brutal The man is ignorant of the distinctiones cardinales and wants to dispute in public! 27 NrLLE: Oh, my respected son, don't take it so much to heart. From what you say, I can see that he must be a fool. MONTANUS: An ignoramus. NILLE: Nothing could be clearer. MONTANUS: An idiot! NrLLE: I can't see otherwise. MoNT ANus: Et quidem plane hospes in philosophia. 28 Let the dog deny the mess he made in the presence of so many honorable people. NrLLE: He messed himself? By that you know a swine. MoNTANus: No, Little Mother, he did something even worse! He confounded materiam cum forma in public! 29 NrLLE: He should be horsewhipped. MoNTANus: And that scoundrel thinks he can dispute! NrLLE: The hell he thinks. MoNT ANUS: Not to mention the mistake he made in his proemio when he said, "Lectissimi et doctissimi auditores. " 30

27. Ordinarius opponens: "Officially appointed opponent." merita: "merits." partes: "part." Misere ... methodo: "Miserable and stammering, without method." praeses: the person, who during the disputation, sets forth the proposition. inter ... rei: "between the thing's essence and its attributes." Quid hoc est: "What is it?" antequam ... descendis: "before you went down to the

battlefield." Quae bruta: "What stupidity!" distinctiones cardinales: "major distinctions." 28. Et . .. philosophia: "Yes, a perfect stranger in philosophy." 29. Materiam cum forma: "Substance and form." 30. proemio: "introductory speech." Lectissimi . .. auditores: "Well read and highly learned audience."

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ACT III, Scene

2

NrLLE: What a fool he must be! MoNT ANUS: He put lectissimus in front of doctissimus, although lectissimus is a predicate one can give a deposituro. 31 JEPPE: But didn't you speak with Jeronimus? MoNTANus: No. Just as I was about to go into the living room, I saw this man walking past the gate. Since we knew each other, I went out to greet him. We immediately began to speak of learned matters and ended in that dispute, so I had to postpone my visit. JEPPE: I'm so afraid that Monsewer Jeronimus will be offended when he hears that my son was at his mansion but left without speaking to him. MoNT ANUS: Well I can't help that. When one attacks philosophy, one attacks my honor. I am certainly devoted to Mademoiselle Lisbed, but my metaphysica and my logica have priority. NILLE: Oh! What do I hear, my dear son? Have you become engaged to two other girls in Copenhagen? That will be one hell of a case in Matrimonial Court! MoNT ANUS: You don't understand. That's not what I meant. They are not girls, they are two sciences. NILLE: Well that's different. Now here comes the overseer; try to calm down. MoNT ANUS: I can't get mad at him. He's a simple, unlearned man with whom I cannot dispute. Scene 2 feppe - Nille- Montanus - fesper JESPER: At your service, Monsieur. Congratulations on your homecoming. MoNT ANUS: Thank you, Mr. Overseer. JESPER: I'm very pleased that we now have such a learned man in town. It must have caused a great many headaches before you got so far. Jeppe Berg, I also congratulate you with your son. Now you have joy in your old age. JEPPE: Yes, that's true. JESPER: But listen, my dear Monsieur Rasmus, I'd like to ask you something. MONTANus: My name is Montanus. JESPER: [To JEPPE.] Montanus? Is that Rasmus in Latin? JEPPE: Yes, it must be. 31. deposituro: "freshman."

Erasmus Montanus JESPER: Listen, my dear Monsieur Montanus Berg, I've heard that learned people have some very strange notions. Is it true that in Copenhagen they believe that the world is round? No one believes that here in our village. How could it be? The world certainly seems perfectly flat. MoNT ANUS: That's because the earth is so large you can't see its roundness. JESPER: Yes, it's true that the earth is large-why, it's almost half the world! But listen, Monsieur, how many stars does it take to make a moon? MoNT ANUs : A moon! The moon is to a star as Pebling Pond is to all of Zealand. JESPER: [Laughs.] You learned people are never quite right in the head! I've even heard it said that the earth moves and the sun stands still! I don't suppose Monsieur believes that, too? MoNT ANUS: Reasonable men no longer doubt it. JESPER: [Laughs.] If the world moved we'd fall all over each other and break our necks. MoNT ANUS: Can't a ship move you without breaking your neck? JESPER: But you claim that the earth spins around. If a ship turned over wouldn't everyone fall into the ocean? MoNT ANUS: No. If you'll be patient, I'll explain it more clearly. JESPER: By God, I won't hear it! I'd be crazy to believe that. Could the earth tum over and we not fall head over heels into a bottomless abyss! [Laughs.] But, my dear Monsieur Berg, why is the moon sometimes so small and sometimes so large? MoNT ANUS: Even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. JESPER: Oh, please tell me. MONT ANUS: It's because, when the moon is full grown, pieces are cut off to make the stars. JESPER: Well I'll be damned. I didn't know that before. If pieces weren't cut off, it would grow all too big and become as wide as all of Zealand. Nature governs everything very wisely. But why doesn't the moon give off heat like the sun, even though it's just as big? MoNT ANUS: That's because the moon is not a light, but made of the same dark matter as the earth. It borrows its light and brilliance from the sun. JESPER: [Laughs.] Let's talk about something besides that foolish nonsense. It could make you crazy in the head!

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ACT III, Scene 3 Scene 3 feppe- Nille- Montanus- fesper- Deacon Per JEPPE: Welcome, Per! Where good people are, good people follow. There you see my son, who's just returned home. PER: Welcome home, Monsieur Rasmus Berg. MONT ANUS: In Copenhagen I became accustomed to the name Montanus. I'd appreciate it if you addressed me likewise. PER: Yes, sure, it's all the same to me. Otherwise, how are things in Copenhagen? Did many students graduate this year? MoNT ANUs: It was the usual. PER: Did anyone flunk out this year? MoNT ANUS: There were two or three conditionaliter. 32 PER: Who is imprimatur this year? 33 MONT ANUs: What does that mean? PER: I mean, who is imprimatur of the verse and books that are printed? MoNT ANUS: Is that supposed to be Latin? PER: Yes, in my day it was good Latin. MoNT ANUs: If it was good Latin then, it still would be. But it has never been Latin the way you used it. PER: Yes, in faith, I say it is good Latin! MoNT ANUs: Is it supposed to be a nomen or a verbum~ 34 PER: It's a nomen. JESPER: That's right, Per! You tell him! MoNT ANUS: Cujus declinationis, is then imprimatur! 35 PER: All the words you can use are grouped according to eight things: nomen, pronomen, verbum, principium, conjugatio, declinatio, or interjectio. 36 J EsPER: Yes, yes! Just listen to Per when he gets going! That's right, fire away at him! MoNT ANUS: He doesn't answer anything I ask him! What is imprimatur in genitival 32· conditionaliter: "on condition; on trial." 33· imprimatur: "may be printed." The censor's stamp on a manuscript showing that there was no objection. Per is using it as though it is the censor's title. 34· nomen: "noun." verbum: "verb." 3 5. Cujus declinationis: "of

which conjugation." 36. nomen ... interjectio: "noun, pronoun, verb, (incorrectly remembered word for participiumj participle, conjunction, declamation, or interjection." Per is incorrectly quoting from the first page of Donat's grammar book; see note rs.

Erasmus Montanus PER: Nominativus ala, genitivus alae, dativus alo, vocativus alo, ablativus ala. 37 JESPER: There you have it, Monsieur Montanus! We have men here in the village, too, you know! PER: I should say so. In my day the fellows who graduated were of a different kind. They were fellows who had to shave twice a week and who could scan all kinds of verse. MoNT ANus: Big deal; they do that now in their second year. Nowadays there are graduates from Copenhagen School who can write Hebrew and Chaldean verse. PER: Then they don't know much Latin. MoNT ANUS: Latin! If you went to school today you wouldn't get beyond the first grade. JESPER: Don't say that, Montanus. The deacon certainly is a well educated man. I've heard both the district judge and the tax collector say so. MoNT ANUS: Maybe they understand just as little Latin as he. JESPER: But I heard him answer well for himself. MoNT ANUS: I tell you he doesn't answer the questions I ask him! E qua schola dimissus es, mi domine~ 38 PER: Adfectivum et substantivum genere, numero et caseo conveniunt. 39 JESPER: He really let you have it! Right, Per! In faith, we'll drink a tall brandy together. MoNT ANus: If Mr. Overseer knew what he answered, he'd laugh himself sick. I asked him from which school he graduated, but he answered in a fog. PER: Tunc tua res agitur, paries cum proximus ardet. 40 JESPER: Yes, sure, now he's really getting started. Now you answer that. MONT ANUS: I can't answer that. It's rubbish. Let's speak Danish so the others can understand. Then they'll hear what kind of a man you are. NILLE: [Cries.] 37· Nominativus ala ... ablativus ala: "Nominative case ala, genitive case alae, dative case alo, vocative case ala, ablative case ala." Per is again incorrect. 38. E qua ... domine: "From which school did you graduate, my goodman?" 39· Adjectivum ... conveniunt: "The adjective is regulated by the

sex, number, and case of the noun." A rule incorrectly quoted from Donat's grammar book. The incorrect word, caseo, actually means cheese. 40. Tunc ... ardet: "For it also concerns you when your neighbor's wall burns." Quoted from Horace, Epistle l, rB, verse 84.

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ACT III, Scene 3 J EsPER : Why are you crying, Grandmother? NrLLE: It gives me such pain to see my son defeated in Latin. JESPER: There, there, Grandmother, it's no wonder. After all, Per is much older than him. It's no wonder. Now then, let them speak Danish, which we all understand. PER: All right, I'm prepared for either one he wants. We'll ask each other some questions. For example, who shouted so loud, he could be heard all over the world? MoNT ANUS: I don't know anyone who shouts louder than either a jackass or a provincial deacon. PER: Nonsense! Can they be heard over the whole world? It was the ass in Noah's ark. You see, the whole world was in the ark! JESPER: [Laughs.] That's certainly true! [Laughs.] There's a clever head on Deacon Per! PER: Who killed one-fourth of the whole world? MoNT ANUS: No, I don't answer such stupid questions. PER: It was Cain who killed his brother Abel. MoNTANus: Prove that only four people existed then. PER: You prove that there were more. MoNT ANUS: That's not necessary because affirmanti incumbit probatio. 41 Can you understand that? PER: Certainly. Omnia conando docilis solertia vincit. 42 Can you understand that? MoNTANus: I'm a fool to stand here and argue with a simpleton. You want to dispute, but you know neither Latin nor Danish; let alone what logica is. Let's just hear, quid est logica~ 43 PER: Post molestam senectutam, post molestam senectutam nos habebat humus. 44 MoNT ANUS: Scoundrel! Will you mock me? [He grabs PER by the hair and they fight. PER breaks free and yells, "Dumbox! Dumbox!" MoNTANUS chases him out, followed by everyone except the OvERSEER.]

41. affirmanti incumbit probatio: "The burden of proof rests on he who sets forth the premise." 42. Omnia ... vincit: "All victories come to the teachable through diligence." The motto from the title page of Donat's grammar book, taken from the

Roman author Manilius. 43· quid est logica: "what is logic?" 44· Post ... humus: "After the troublesome age the earth shall own us." Incorrectly quoted from the student song "Gaudeamus Igitur."

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Erasmus Montanus Scene 4 Jesper- Jeronimus JERONIMUS: At your service, Mr. Overseer! What are you doing here? I'm here to see my future son-in-law, Rasmus Berg. JESPER: He'll be back soon. It's a shame you didn't get here half an hour ago. You could have heard him and the deacon disputing. JERONIMUS: How did it go? JESPER: The devil take Deacon Per; he's worse than I thought. I can see that he hasn't forgotten any of his Latin or Hebrew. JERONIMUS: I think you're right; he probably never knew much in the first place. JESPER: Don't say that, Monsieur Jeronimus. He has one hell of a mouth on him. It's really a pleasure to hear that man speak Latin. JERONIMUS: That's more than I had expected. But how does my son-in-law look? JESPER: He looks damned well learned; you'd hardly recognize him. He also has another name. JERONIMUS: Another name! What's he called? JESPER: He calls himself "Montanus," which is supposed to be Latin for Rasmus. JERONIMUS: Oh! That's monstrous! I've known several men who changed their Christian name in that manner, but they never did well in this world. I knew one man a few years ago who was christened Per. But after he achieved success he wanted to improve his status, so he changed his name to Peter. But he paid dearly for Peter: he broke his leg and died in great misery. Our Lord doesn't tolerate such things, Mr. Overseer. JESPER: He can call himself whatever he likes. What I don't like are the strange doctrines he's acquired. JERONIMUS: What doctrines are those? JESPER: Oh, it's terrible! My hair stands on end just thinking about it! I can't remember everything I heard, but I know that among other things, he said that the world is round. What do you call that, Monsieur Jeronimus? It's nothing less than confounding religion and leading people away from the Faith. A heathen certainly couldn't speak any worse. JERONIMUS: Surely he must have been joking.

ACT III, Scene 5 JESPER: It would be disgraceful to joke like that. Look, there he comes. Montanus -

Scene 5 feronimus -

fesper

MoNT ANUS: Welcome my dear father-in-law. I'm happy to see you in such excellent health. JERONIMus: Health can never be particularly good for people my age. MoNTANUS: But you look so very well! JERONIMUS: You think so? MoNT ANUS: How is Mamselle Lisbed? JERONIMus: Well enough. MoNT ANUs: But what's wrong, my dear father-in-law? You seem to answer me so coldly. JERONIMUS: I don't think I have reason to do otherwise. ·MoNT ANus: What have I done wrong? JERONIMUS: I hear that you have some very peculiar ideas. People will think you've either become mad or crazy in the head. How can a rational man fall into the foolishness of saying that the world is round? MoNTANus: Butprofecto she is round. I have to speak the truth. JERONIMUS: That's sure as hell not true. That could only come from the devil, the father of all lies. I'm sure every person here in town would condemn beliefs like that. Just ask the overseer. He's a sensible man, see if he doesn't think the same as me. J EsPER: It doesn't make a bit of difference to me if she's oblong or round. But I have to believe my own eyes, which show me that the earth is as flat as a pancake. MoNTANUs: Well it doesn't make a bit of difference to me either, what the overseer or anyone else in this town thinks; for I know that the earth is round. JERONIMus: I'll be damned if it's round! I think you're crazy! You surely have eyes in your head as well as the next man. MoNT ANUS: It is known, my dear father-in-law, that there are people living directly under us whose feet point up towards ours. JESPER: [Laughs.] JERONIMUS: The overseer is right to laugh! You've got a screw loose in your head. Just try to walk on the ceiling with you head hanging down and see what happens.

173

Erasmus Montanus MONT ANUS: That's a completely different matter, father-inlaw, because ... JERONIMUS: I will by no means be your father-in-law! I love my daughter too much to give her to a man like you! MONT ANUS: It's true that I love your daughter as dearly as my own soul. But to upend philosophy for her sake and banish my reason is more than you can demand. JERONIMUS: Ah ha! I hear that you have another love on your mind! You can keep your Lucie or your Sophie, I won't force my daughter on you. MoNT ANUS: You misunderstand. Philosophy is nothing more than a science, which has opened my eyes to this, as well as to other things. JERONIMUS: If anything, it has blinded both your eyes and your reason. How can you justify that? MONT ANUS: That's something that needs no justification. Learned people no longer doubt it. JESPER: I'm convinced that Deacon Per would never agree with you. MONT ANUS: Deacon Per! Now there's a clever fellow! I'm a fool to stand here and discuss philosophy with you. But to please Monsieur Jeronimus, I'll demonstrate two proofs; first, that people who travel a couple thousand miles from here have day when we have night and see another heaven and other stars. JERONIMUS: Are you crazy? Is there more than one heaven and one earth? JESPER: Yes, Monsieur Jeronimus, there are twelve heavens, each one higher than the other until you come to the Crystal Heaven. 45 He's right so far as that is concerned. MoNTANus: Oh! Quantae tenebrae!46 JERONIMUS: When I was a young man I traveled all the way down to the market in Kiel47 sixteen times. But on my honor, I have never seen another heaven than the one we have here! MoNT ANUS: You must travel sixteen times farther than that, Domine Jeronyme, before you will notice such a thing because ... JERONIMUS: That's enough of this nonsense; it's neither here nor there. Let's hear your second proof. MONT ANUS: The second proof relates to the eclipsing of the sun and moon. 45· See The Cluistmas Party, note 8. 46. Quantae tenebrae! "What darkness!" i.e., ignorance.

47· The annual market in Kiel, northern Germany; of great importance to Danish businessmen.

174

ACT III, Scene 6 JESPER: Just listen to that, now he's completely mad. MoNT ANUs: What do you suppose an eclipse is? JESPER: Eclipses are certain signs put on the sun and the moon when something terrible is going to happen on earth. I can prove it from my own experience. Both three years ago just before my wife had a miscarriage and when my daughter, Gertrude, died there were eclipses. ·MoNT ANUs: This nonsense is driving me crazy. JERONIMUS: The overseer is right. There is never an eclipse unless it means something. When we had the last eclipse everything seemed all right; but not for long. Just fourteen days later we got word from Copenhagen that, at the same time, six had failed to pas~ their theological exams~all distinguished men, among them the sons of two deans! If you don't hear bad news from one place after such an eclipse, you'll surely hear it from another. MoNTANUs: That's true enough for no day ever passes when something terrible doesn't happen somewhere in the world. But so far as those people are concerned, they have no reason to blame their misfortune on an eclipse. If they'd studied harder, they probably would have made it. JERONIMUS: Then what is an eclipse of the moon? MONT ANUS: It's nothing more than the earth's shadow, which deprives the moon of the sunlight; and since the shadow is round, it follows that the earth is also round. Everything happens naturally, for we can predict eclipses. Therefore it is foolish to say that they are warning signs of misfortunes. JERONIMUS: Oh, Mr. Overseer, I'm just sick. These are damnable times, indeed, when your parents allow you to study. JESPER: Yes, he's close to becoming an atheist. I must have Deacon Per talk to him again. He's a man who speaks with authority. He'll convince you whether you want Latin or Greek, that the world, thank heaven, is as flat as my hand. But here comes Madame Magdelone with her daughter, Lisbed. Scene 6 · Magdelone- Lisbed- feronimus - Montanus - fesper MAGDELONE: My dear son-in-law, I'm delighted to see you back in good health. LIS BED: Oh, my dearest! Let me embrace you! JERONIMUS: Gently, gently my child. Not so eager.

175

Erasmus Montanus LISBED: Can't I embrace my sweetheart whom I haven't seen in years? JERONIMUS: Keep away from him, I tell you, or I'll cuff you! LIS BED: [Crying.) But I know that our engagement has been made public. JERONIMUS: That may be true, but something has gone wrong since then. LISBED: (Cries.) JERONIMUS: You should know, my child, that when you became engaged he was a decent man and a good Christian. But now he is a heretic and a fanatic who should rather be named in a litany than in our family. LISBED: Is that all, my dear father? We shall certainly resolve that! JERONIMus: Stay away from him, I say! MAGDELONE: What's the meaning of this, Mr. Overseer? JESPER: It's terrible, Madame. He brought false doctrine to this town, saying that the earth is round and other such things that make me blush to repeat. JERONIMUS: Don't you think his good, old parents should be pitied for spending so much money on him? MAGDELONE: Is that all? If he loves our daughter he'll give up these beliefs and for her sake, say that the world is flat. LrSBED: Oh, my darling! For my sake, say that it's flat! MoNT ANus: I cannot submit to you so long as I have all my faculties. I can't give the world a shape different than the one nature gave it. I will say and do everything possible for your sake, but in no way can I give in on this, for if my fellow students heard I'd asserted that, they'd consider me a fool and despise me. Furthermore, we learned men never abandon our views, but defend what we have proclaimed to the last drop in our inkwells. MAGDELONE: Listen, husband, I don't find this so important that on its account we should break off the engagement. JERONIMUS: And precisely on that account, I would petition for their divorce even if they were already married! MAGDELONE: Well I'm certainly going to have my say about this, too; for if she's your daughter, she's also mine! LISBED: [Crying.) Oh, Sweetheart! Just say that it's flat! MONT ANUS: I profecto cannot. JERONIMUS: Listen, wife, you must know that I'm the man in the house and I'm her father!

176

ACT IV, Scene

I

MAGDELONE: And you must know that Fm the woman in the house and I'm her mother! JERONIMus: I think that a father is always more than a mother. MAGDELONE: And I think not! For there can be no doubt that I'm her mother. But as for you're being ... Well, I won't say any more. I'm getting carried away. LrsBED: [Crying.] Oh, Sweetheart! Can't you easily, just for my sake, say that's it's flat? MoNT ANUS: I cannot, my little doll, nam contra naturam est. 48 JERONIMUS: What are you saying, wife? Am I not her father as well as you're her mother? Listen, Lisbed, am I not your father? LISE ED: I think so, for my mother says so. I believe that you are my father. But I know that she is my mother. JERONIMUS: How do you like that nonsense, Mr. Overseer? JESPER: I can't say that the young lady is wrong, you see ... JERONIMUS: That's enough! Come, let's go! You can be sure, my good Rasmus Berg, that you'll never have my daughter as long as you hold to these delusions. LrsBED: [Crying.] Oh, Sweetheart! Just say that it's flat! JERONIMUS: Out! Out the door! [The VrsiTORS all exit.] END

OF ACT Ill

ACT IV Scene r MoNT ANUS: [Alone.] My parents plagued me for a full hour, moaning and crying, trying to make me deny my beliefs. But they don't know Erasmum Montanum. Even if they made me emperor I wouldn't go back on what I have said. It's true that I love Mademoiselle Elisabet; but for me to sacrifice philosophy for her sake and deny that which I publicly sustained will never happen. I do hope, though, that everything will tum out for the best; that I can win my true love without losing my reputation. Once I get the opportunity to speak to Jeronimus I'll demonstrate his delusions so clearly that he'll agree to the match. But I see the deacon and the overseer coming from my in-law's house. 48. nam contra naturam est: "for it is contrary to nature."

177

Erasmus Montanus Scene 2 fesper- Per- Montanus JESPER: My dear Monsieur Montanus, we've been working very hard today for your sake. MONTANUS: What is it? JESPER: We've been running back and forth between your parents and your in-laws trying to negotiate a peace. MoNT ANUS: Well, what have you accomplished? Will my father-in-law give in? JESPER: The last thing he said was, "There's never been a heretic in our family. Send Rasmus Berg ... " I'm only quoting him, he never once said Montanus Berg. "Send Rasmus Berg my greetings and tell him that my wife and I are decent, God-fearing people who would sooner wring our daughter's neck than give her to a man who says that the world is round and brings false doctrine to this town." PER: To tell the truth, we've always had a pure faith here in our village and Monsieur Jeronimus is not all that wrong in breaking off this engagement. MoNT ANus : My good men, return my greeting to Monsieur Jeronimus and tell him that he treats me unjustly by trying to force me to recant that which I once have proclaimed. It is against leges scholasticas and consuetudines laudabiles. 49 PER: Listen, dominus/ 50 Will you forsake your beautiful sweetheart for such a trifle? Everyone will condemn you for it. MoNT ANUS: The common man, vulgus, may condemn me, but my commilitones, my fellow students, will praise me to the skies for my resolve. PER: Do you believe it a sin to say that the world is flat or oblong? MONT ANUS: No, I don't. But I do consider it a shameful disgrace for me, a Baccalaureus Philosophiae, to deny that which I have once publicly sustained and to embrace that which is improper for our learned order. My duty is to ensure that ne quid detrimenti patiatur respublica philosophica. 51 PER: But if you can be convinced that what you believe is false, do you consider it a sin to give up your belief? 49· leges ... laudabiles: "the academic laws and praiseworthy regulations." so. Per should have used the correct form, domine. 51. ne quid ... philosophica:

"that the philosophic state suffers no harm"; this is based on the expression used in ancient Rome for transferring authority when the state was in danger.

ACT IV, Scene

2

MoNT ANUS: Prove to me it's false, and do it according to the rules. PER: It's easy for me. Now, a great many respectable citizens live here in town. First there is your father-in-law, a self-made businessman; next, your unworthy servant, who has been the deacon here fourteen full years; then there is our good overseer, not to mention the district bailiff and several other respectable residents who pay their taxes and land-use fees in bad times as well as good. MoNT ANUS: This will be one hell of an awkward syllogism. Where is all of this nonsense leading? PER: I'm coming to my point. Just ask every one of these good men who live here in town and see if anyone agrees with you that the world is round. I know that we should believe what many people say rather than one man alone. Ergo, you are wrong. MoNT ANus : You can bring everyone here from the village and let them all oppose me in this matter and others! I'll silence them all! Such people have no opinions, they must believe what I and other people tell them. PER : But if you say that the moon is made of green cheese, should they believe that, too? MoNTANus: Of course. What else? Tell me, what do these people think about you? PER: They think I'm a good, honest man and deacon in this place, which is true. MoNT ANUS: Well I say that's a lie. I say you are a cock, and will prove it as easily as two plus three are five. PER: You can prove the devil! What now, am I a cock? How will you prove that? MoNT ANUS: Can you say anything to save yourself? PER: First, I can talk. A cock can't talk. Ergo, I'm no cock. MoNT ANUS: Talking has nothing to do with it. A parrot or a starling can talk, too, but that doesn't make them men. PER: I can prove it other than by talking. A cock has no human intellect. I have human intellect. Ergo, I am no cock. MONT ANUS: Proba minorem. 52 JESPER: Oh, speak Danish! MoNT ANUS: I want him to prove that he has human intellect. PER: See here, I carry out my duties without reproach. MoNT ANUS: What are the most important responsibilities of your office that demonstrate your human intellect? 52. Proba minorem: in logic, "Prove the supporting premise."

179

Erasmus Montanus PER: One, I never fail to ring the bell for church at the right times. MoNT ANus: Nor does a cock fail to crow, telling the time and warning everyone to get up. PER: Two, I sing as well as any deacon on Zealand. MoNT ANus : Our cock also crows as well as any cock on Zealand. PER: I can mold candles. No cock can do that. MONT ANUS: On the other hand, a cock can fertilize eggs, something you cannot do. Don't you see that understanding your responsibilities does not prove that you're better than a cock? You should also easily grasp the similarities between yourself and a cock: A cock has a comb on his head, you have a horn on yours/3 a cock crows, so do you; a cock is proud of its voice and struts, you do the same; a cock warns people when it's time to get up, you when its time to go to church. Ergo, you are a cock. Do you have anything else to say? PER: [Cries.] JESPER: Don't cry, Per! Why listen to him? PER: A plague on me if it isn't all lies! I can get statements from everyone in town that I'm no cock and that my ancestors have never been other than Christian people. MoNT ANUs: Then refute this syllogism, quem tibi propono. 54 A cock has these characteristics that distinguish it from other animals: it warns people by crowing when they should get up; it tells time; it boasts about its own voice; and it has horns on its head. You have these same characteristics. Ergo, you are a cock. Refute that argument. PER: [Cries again.] JESPER: If the deacon can't shut you up, I will! MONT ANUS: Then let me hear your arguments. JESPER: First, my conscience tells me that your statement is false. MoNTANUS: One cannot judge all matters by an overseer's conscience. JEsPER : Second, I say that everything you've said is a pack of lies. MONTANUS: Prove it. JESPER: Third, I'm an honest man whose word can always be trusted. MONT ANUS: All this nonsense if not sufficient. 53. Per's wig sweeps up like a cockscomb.

54· quem tibi propono: "that I set forth for you."

r8o

ACT IV, Scene 3 JESPER: Fourth, I say you've spoken like the devil and that your tongue should be cut from your mouth! MoNT ANUS: I still hear no proof. JEsPER : Then finally, fifth, I will prove it beyond doubt either by the sword or by a simple thrashing! MoNT ANUS: No! I submit to both; but so long as you only dispute verbally you'll find that I can prove not only what I've just said, but other things as well. Here then, Mr. Overseer, I'll prove by sound logica that you are a bull. JESPER: You'll prove the devil! MoNT ANUS: Please be patient and hear my argument. JEsPER: Come on, Per, let's go. MoNT ANUS: Here's my proof: Quicunque ... 55 JESPER: [Screams and tries to cover MoNT ANus' mouth.] MoNT ANUS: If you don't feel like hearing my proof just now, we can meet another time anywhere you like. JESPER: I'm too good to associate with such a fanatic! [JESPER and PER exit.] MoNT ANUS: I can dispute with those men calmly even though they abuse me with harsh language. I do not lose my temper unless I dispute with those who think they understand methodum disputandi and are equally as strong in philosophy as I. That's why I was ten times more ardent wheJ?. I disputed against that student today. He had at least some appearance of learning. But here come my parents.

Scene 3 Jeppe - Nille- Montanus JEPPE: My dear son, don't go on like that and set yourself up against everyone. I'm aware that you just mocked the overseer and the deacon who, at our request, tried to establish peace between you and your father-in-law. What's the use of turning good men into cocks and bulls? MoNT ANUS: That's why I studied. That's why I racked my brains-to say whatever I want and justify it. JEPPE: Then I think it would've been better if you'd never studied. MoNT ANUS: Hold your tongue, old man! JEPPE: You wouldn't beat your parents? MoNT ANUs: If I did, I'd justify it to the entire world! [JEPPE and NILLE exit crying.] 55· Quicunque: "Everyone who." I

8I

Erasmus Montanus Scene 4 Montanus - Jacob MoNT ANus : I wouldn't change my mind if they all went mad together! Now what do you want, Jacob? JACOB: I have a letter for Monsewer. (Gives it to MoNTANUS and exits.] MoNTANUs: [Reading.] My very dearest friend, I never would have imagined that you so easily could forsake the one, who for so many years, has borne you such constant and true love. I can tell you for certain that my father is so dead set against the notion that the world is round and considers it a firm article of faith, that he will never allow our union unless you accept the belief of him and the other good people in this town. What's it to you whether the earth is oblong, round, octagonal, or square? I plead in the name of all the love I've borne you that you conform yourself to the beliefs which have served us so well in our village for so long. If you don't give in to me in this, then be certain that I will grieve myself to death and the whole world will abhor you, the cause of the death of the one who has loved you as her own soul. By my own hand, Elisabeth, Daughter of Jeronimus. Oh, heavens! This letter moves me and thrusts me into such doubt that I must say with the poet:

.. .utque securi Saucia trabs ingens, ubi plaga novissima restat, Quo cadat in dubio est, omnique a parte timetur: Sic animus ... 56 On the one side stands philosophy, which urges me to hold my ground; on the other side my sweetheart, who reproaches my callousness and unfaithfulness. But should Erasmus Montanus allow anything to sway him from his beliefs, which 'til now have been his primary virtue? No way! Nothing! Yet here is necessity that knows no law. If I don't give in on this, I'll bring despair to myself and to my sweetheart. She'll grieve herself to death with sorrow and 56. Quoted from Ovid, Metamorphosis, X, lines 372-75. Holberg quotes these lines in Danish in both his comic epic, Feder Paars, Book III, Song 2 (I72o), and in Melampe, Act II, Sc. 6 (1725): Just like a beech which by the ax will fall I stand in doubt to which side I will fall. Such a quivering tree my heart is; for Two opposing things in me wage war.

r82

ACT IV, Scene 4 the whole world will hate me and denounce my unfaithfulness. Should I forsake the one who has loved me so uprightly for so many years? Should I be the cause of her death? No, that cannot be! But think what you are doing Erasme Montane, musarum et Apollinis pullet Here is your opportunity to show that you are a true philosophus. Yea, the greater the danger, the greater the laurel wreath you'll win inter philosophos. Think what your commilitones will say when they hear of this! He is no more the Erasmus Montanus who used to defend his beliefs to the last drop of his blood. If common and unlearned people condemn the unfaithfulness to my sweetheart, philosophi, on the other hand, will praise me to the skies. That which disgraces me among these, crowns me with honor among those. Therefore, I must stand firm against this temptation. I resist it. I conquer it. I have already conquered it! The earth is round! facta est alea. Dixi. [Calls to JACOB.] Jacob! [JACOB enters.] The letter you delivered from my sweetheart did not move me! I stand by what I said: the earth is round and shall never be flat so long as I'm able to hold up my head! 57 JAcoB: I believe that the world is round, too; but if someone gave me a caraway pretzel to say that it's oblong, I'd say that it's oblong. It makes no difference to me. MoNT ANus: It may be all right for you, but not for a philosopho, whose primary virtue is to defend to the last modicum that which he has proclaimed. I will publicly dispute it here in town and challenge everyone who has studied. JAcoB : Let me ask Monsewer one thing: If you win the dispute, what happens then? MoNT ANUS: What happens then? I have the honor of winning and being regarded as a learned man! JAcoB : Monsewer should say a verbose man. I've noticed from people here in town that wisdom and verbosity are not the same. Rasmus Hansen, who is always talking and whom no one can shut up, is considered by others to have only the mind of a goose. On the other hand, Niels Christensen, the district bailiff who speaks little and always forfeits an argument, is considered able to manage the office of a district judge. MoNT ANus: Just listen to the scoundrel; by God, he wants to argue! 57· musarum ... pulle: "the muses' and Apollo's darling." inter philosophos: "among philosophers." commilitones: "fellow students." facta ... Dixi: "The die is cast. I have spoken."

Erasmus Montanus JACOB: Monsewer mustn't take offense; I speak merely out of my own simple understanding and ask merely so I can learn. I just want to know, when Monsewer wins the debate, will Deacon Per instantly change into a cock? MoNT ANus: That's absurd! He'll stay the same as he was. JAcoB : Well, in that case, Monsewer loses. MoNTANus: I refuse to debate with a peasant rogue like you! If you understood Latin then I'd quickly satisfy you. I'm not used to disputing in Danish. JAcoB : In other words, Monsewer has become so learned that he can no longer explain what he means in his mother tongue. MONT ANUS: Shut up, audacissimi juvenis! Why should I take the trouble to explain myself to coarse and common people who don't even know what universalia, entia rationis and formae substantiales are, let alone anything else? It certainly is absurdissimum to want to preach to the blind about color. Vulgus indoctum est monstrum horrendum informe, cui lumen ademptum. Recently there was a man ten times more learned than you who wanted to dispute with me. But when I discovered that he didn't know what quidditas was, I merely dismissed him. 58 JACOB: What does that mean, quidditas? [MoNTANus hesitates.] Well, isn't it the same? MONT ANUS: I know exactly what it means. JACOB: Perhaps Monsewer knows it himself, but he can't explain it to others. Although I have little understanding, it's such that everyone can grasp it when I explain it to them. MoNT ANus: Oh, yes! You're a learned fellow, Jacob! Just what do you know? JACOB: What if I could prove that I'm more learned than Monsewer. MoNT ANUS: I'd like to hear that. JAcoB : He who studies the most important things, I believe, has the most thorough education. MoNT ANUS: Yes, that's true enough. JACOB: I study farming and cultivation, therefore I am more learned than Monsewer. 58. audacissimi juvenis: "audacious juvenile." universalia ... substantiales: "the universal concepts, ideas, and the forms of substance." Vulgus . .. ademptum: "The unlearned masses are a terrible, shapeless monster, who have been deprived of light," Virgil, Aeneid, III, 658. Quidditas: "whatness"-it is to "what" as "goodness" is to "good." Ostensibly a thing's inner qualities.

ACT IV, Scene 4 MoNT ANUS: You regard coarse peasant work as the most important? JAcoB: I don't know. But I know this: if we peasants also took a pen or a piece of chalk in hand to measure how far it is to the moon, you highly educated would quickly suffer stomach pains. You scholars pass your time disputing whether the earth is round, square, or octagonal, but we study how to maintain the earth. Now can't Monsewer see that our study is more practical and more important than his and therefore that Niels Christensen is the smartest man in town because he has improved his fields so that an acre is worth thirty rix-dollars more than it was for his predecessor, who sat all day with a pipe in his mouth, marking and dog-earing Doctor Arent Huitfeldt's Chronicle or Sermons? 59 MONT ANUS: Oh! I could die! It's the devil incarnate who's talking! I never thought in my whole life such words could fall from a peasant boy's lips. Even though everything you said is false and blasphemous, it certainly is unusual talk for one in your position. Quickly tell me, who taught you such speech? JACOB: I haven't studied, Monsewer, but people say I have a good head on my shoulders. The circuit judge never comes to town without immediately sending for me. He's told our parents a hundred times that they ought to let me study and that great things could come from me. When I don't have anything to do, I go and speculate. The other day I wrote a poem about Morten Nielsen, who drank himself to death. MONT ANUS: Let me hear your poem. JACOB: First you have to know that Morten's father and grandfather were both fishermen who drowned at sea. The verse goes like this: Here Morten Nielsen lies under the veil. In order to walk in his forefather's trail, Who died like fish in the sound, Himself in brandy drowned. I recited that for the circuit judge who had it written down and gave me two marks for it! MoNT ANUs: The poem, even though its form is terrible, 59· Arild Huitfeldt's Chronicle of the Danish Kingdom (r6so-p). Huitfeldt did not actually write a book of sermons.

185

Erasmus Montanus displays excellent content. The prosody, which is the most important, is lacking. JACOB: What does that mean? MONT ANUS: Some lines don't have enough pedes or feet to walk on. JACOB: Feet! You'd better believe it! In only a few days it ran over the whole country! MoNT ANus: I admit you have a clever mind. I only wish you'd studied and understood your philosophiam instrumentalem, 60 then you could help me prepare my disputations. Come on, let's go.

END OF ACT IV

ACT V

Scene I Jesper- A Lieutenant Where can I find this fellow, Mr. Overseer? I should really like to talk to him. Does he look healthy? JESPER: He looks fairly sharp and has a mouth like a razor. LIEUTENANT: That doesn't matter, so long as he's strong and healthy. JESPER: He can say anything he wants and defend it. He proved beyond doubt that Deacon Per was a cock. LIEUTENANT: Is he somewhat broad across the shoulders? JESPER: A strong, capable fellow; everyone in the house is afraid of him, even his parents, because he can change them into cows, oxen, horses, and back to people again. That is, he can prove from books that they are. LIEUTENANT: Does he look like he can bear up under pain? JESPER: He also proved that the earth is round. LIEUTENANT: That doesn't concern me. Does he appear to be courageous and have heart? JESPER: Rather than change it, he'd give his life for a letter. I'm certain he'll have everyone here by the neck, but that doesn't bother him, he won't back down from his beliefs or learning. LIEUTENANT: Mr. Overseer, from what I hear, he'll make a perfect soldier.

LIEUTENANT:

6o. philosophiam instrumentalem: "the instruments of philosophy," which included logic, rhetoric, and metaphysics.

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ACT V, Scene

2

JESPER: But how can the Lieutenant make him a soldier? He's a student. 61 LIEUTENANT: That means nothing; if he can change people into sheep, oxen, and cocks, then for once I shall try to change a student into a soldier. JESPER: I'd be satisfied if he was; I'd laugh until my stomach splits. LIEUTENANT: Just keep quiet, Jesper. When the overseer and the lieutenant put their heads together nothing is impossible! But I see someone coming; I wonder if its him? JESPER: Yes it's him. I'll run off so he won't suspect me. Scene 2 Lieutenant - Montanus LIEUTENANT: Congratulations on your return to town. MoNTANus: Thank you, I'm at your service. LIEUTENANT: I've taken the liberty to visit you because there aren't many learned folk around here one can talk to. MoNTANUS: I'm delighted to hear that you've studied! May I ask, when did the Lieutenant graduate? LIEUTENANT: I graduated ten years ago. MoNTANus: Then the Lieutenant is an old academicus. What did the Lieutenant study when he was in school? LIEUTENANT: For the most I read the classic Latin authors and studied the natural law and moral problems, which I continue to do. MoNTANUS: But that's insignificant; that's not academicum. Didn't you put any effort into philosophiam instrumental em! LIEUTENANT: No, not particularly. MoNTANUS: Then you've never disputed? LIEUTENANT: No. MoNTANus: You call that study! Philosophia instrumentalis is the only solid instruction. The rest may be nice enough, but it's not learned. One who is skilled in logica and metaphysica can get out of anything, dispute on any subject, even though it is unfamiliar. It doesn't matter to me what I decide to defend, I'll come out well in the end. There was never any disputation at the university where I was not an opponent. A philosoph us instrumentalis can pass in any discipline. LIEUTENANT: Who is currently the greatest disputer? 6r. The regular army was comprised primarily of farmers; it was usually not allowed to enlist university graduates.

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Erasmus Montanus MoNT ANUS: That would be a student by the name of Per Iversen. After he refutes his opponent until he can't argue another word, he says, "Now you take my point and I'll defend yours." For all of this, his philosophia instrumentalis is particularly helpful. It's a shame that man did not become an attorney, he'd have a great practice. After him, I'm the strongest, for the last time I disputed he whispered into my ear, "lam sum us ergo pares. " 62 But I will always yield to him. LIEUTENANT: But I've heard it said that Monsieur can prove it a child's duty to beat his parents. To me that seems preposterous. MoNT ANUS: If I have said it, then I'm also the man to defend it. LIEUTENANT: I'll bet you a ducat that you are not capable of it. MoNT ANus: I'll risk a ducat that I can. LIEUTENANT: Done. It's a bet. Now let's hear you. MoNT ANUS: Those you love most, you beat most. You should love no one more than your parents; ergo, you should beat no one more. Still in another syllogism: That which I have received I should repay to the best of my ability. As a child I received beatings from my parents; ergo, I should beat them in return. LIEUTENANT: Enough, enough! I've lost. By my faith, you'll have your ducat. MoNT ANUS: No, the Lieutenant is not serious. I will profecto not accept any money. LIEUTENANT: Upon my word you shall accept it; I swear it. MoNT ANUS: In that case I will accept it so the Lieutenant is not perjured. LIEUTENANT: But may I also try to change you into something? Par exemple, I'll make you a soldier. MoNT ANUS: Oh, that's very easy! All students are soldiers in spirit. LIEUTENANT: No, I'll also prove that you're a soldier in body. He who accepts money in hand is an enlisted soldier. You have done this, ergo ... MONT ANUS: Nego minorem. 63 62. lam ... pares: "By that we are now equals." Quoted from Martial, Epigrams, II, no. r8.

63. Nego minorem: "I reject the supporting premise."

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ACT V, Scene 3 LIEUTENANT: Et ego probo minorem by the two rix-dollars you've got in your hand. 64 MONTANus: Distinguendum est inter nummos. 65 LIEUTENANT: No distinction! You are a soldier! MoNT ANUS: Distinguendum est inter to simpliciter et relative accipere. 66 LIEUTENANT: Enough talk! The contract is made and you have received your money. MoNT ANUS: Distinguendum est inter contractum verum et apparentem. 67 LIEUTENANT: Can you deny that you received a ducat from me? MONT ANUS: Distinguendum est inter rem et modum rei. 68 LIEUTENANT: Come! Follow me directly, Comrade. Now you'll get your equipment. MoNT ANUS: There, you have your two rix-dollars back! Besides, you have no witnesses that I accepted the money. Scene 3 Montanus - Lieutenant - fesper- Corporal Niels JESPER: I can testify that I saw the Lieutenant put money in his hand! CORPORAL NIELS: So can I. MoNT ANUS: But why did I take the money? Distinguendum est inter ... LIEUTENANT: No, we won't listen to any nonsense. Niels, you stay here while I get his equipment. [Exits.] MONT ANUS: Help! Help! NIELS: If you don't shut up, dog, you'll get a bayonet in your gut. Isn't he enlisted, Mr. Overseer? JESPER: Yes, he sure is. LIEUTENANT: [Enters with equipment.] Now take off that black coat and put on this red one. MoNT ANUS: [Cries while he is being outfitted.] LIEUTENANT: Come on, it looks bad for a soldier to cry. You're far better off now than you were before. Drill him 64. Et ego probo minorem: "And I prove the supporting premise." 65. Distinquendum ... nummos: "It must be distinguished between money." 66. Distinquendum ... accipere: "It must be distinguished between receiving money in general and for

a specific purpose." 67. Distinquendum ... apparentem: "It must be distinguished between a real and a proposed contract." 68. Distinquendum ... rei: "It must be distinguished between the thing itself and its suggested form."

Erasmus Montanus well, Corporal Nielsi he's a learned fellow, but he's new to drilling. (NIELS drills and flogs MONTANUS. JESPER exits.] Scene 4 Lieutenant - Niels - Montanus LIEUTENANT: Well, Niels, has he learned the drills? NIELS: He'll learn, all right, but he's a lazy dog. I have to beat him every second. MONT ANUS: [Crying.] Oh, dear sir, have mercy on me! I'm in delicate health and can't endure such treatment. LIEUTENANT: It seems hard in the beginning, but when your back is soundly thrashed and toughened it won't hurt so much. MONT ANUS: [Cries.] Oh, I wish that I'd never studied! Then I wouldn't have gotten into this predicament. LIEUTENANT: This is only the beginning. After you sit on the wooden horse a few times or stand on the spikes once/9 you'll consider this a bagatelle. MONT ANUS: [Cries again.] Scene 5 feronimus - Magdelone - Lisbed- feppe - Nille Lieutenant - Niels - Montanus JERONIMUS: Are you sure about this? JEPPE: Yes, indeed! The overseer just told me. Oh! Now my anger has changed to pity. JERONIMUS: If we can only get him back to the right beliefs again, I'll gladly buy his freedom. LISBED: [Enters.] Oh! I'm a miserable wretch! JERONIMUS: Don't give me any grief, daughter! You won't gain a thing by it. LISBED: Oh, my dear father! It you were as much in love as I, you wouldn't ask me to keep still. JERONIMUS: For shame! It isn't proper for a girl to show her emotions like that. But I think he's over there. Tell me, Rasmus Berg, what's going on? MoNT ANus: Oh, my dear Monsieur Jeronimus, I've become a soldier. JERONIMUS: Yes, now you'll have more to do than change men into animals and deacons into cocks. 69. Instruments for punishment that were erected on the exercise yard. The wooden horse was a plank elevated on four legs that soldiers straddled with weights attached to their legs. The spikes were one or more spikes of wood or iron that the soldiers stood on with bare feet. These were in common use until about r8oo.

ACT V, Scene 5 MONT ANUS: Oh! I regret my earlier foolishness, but it's all too late. JERONIMUS: Listen, my friend, if you abandon your former madness and stop filling up the country with squabbling and disputations, I won't spare whatever is in my means to set you free again. MONT ANus: I'm getting just what I deserve for threatening to beat my old parents. But if you have mercy on me and work for my release, I swear that from now on I'll lead a different life, find a trade, and never bother anyone with disputations again. JERONIMUS: Then wait here while I go speak with the Lieutenant. My dear Lieutenant! You've always been-a friend of our family. That man you've enlisted is engaged to my only daughter, who loves him very much. Let him be free again. I'm prepared to slip you one hundred rix-dollars for it. I admit I was delighted, at first, that he was being punished like this, for his exasperating conduct had turned me and all the good people here in the village against him. But when I saw how he looked and at the same time heard his heartfelt sorrow for his prior foolishness and his promise to repent, my heart was ready to burst with compassion. LIEUTENANT: Listen, my dear Monsieur Jeronimus, what I've don~ is merely for his own good. I know that he is engaged to your daughter, and therefore, merely for the sake of your house, I forced him into this predicament and plagued him so severely that he would confess his sins. I'll give this money to the poor, for your sake, because I hear that he has changed. Let him come here. Listen, my friend, your parents spent a small fortune on you in hopes that you would honor and console them in their old age. But you left wise and returned utterly confused, stirred up the entire town, spread strange ideas, and defended them with stubornness. If this is the fruit of education, one should wish that books were never written. It seems to me that the most important things one ought to learn in school are the exact opposite of your afflictions, and that a learned man should be particularly distinguished from others in that he is more temperate, modest, and accommodating in his speech than someone unlearned; for true philosophy teaches us to dampen and stop arguments, to yield in our opinions whenever we are persuaded by even the most simple person that we are at fault. The first commandment of philosophy is to know oneself, and the more one advances in this, the less one thinks about oneself and the more one thinks there

Erasmus Montanus is left to learn. But you would make philosophy a fencing match and call that man a philosophus who, with subtle distinctions, can bend the truth and talk his way around any proposition. By this you make people hate you and bring learning into contempt, for they are deceived into thinking that such strange conduct is the proper fruit of education. The best advice I can give you is to work to forget and root out of your head that which you have burnt so much midnight oil to learn; find a trade with which you can pave the way for your advancement. Or, if you insist to continue in your studies, go about them differently. MoNT ANUS: Oh, my dear sir, I shall follow your advice and henceforth endeavor to become a new man. LIEUTENANT: Good. Then I'll release you when you have made these promises both to your own parents and to your in-laws and have begged them for forgiveness. MoNTANus: With tears of sorrow I humbly beseech everyone of you for forgiveness and promise that from now on I'll live a completely new life. I condemn my previous behavior, from which I have been dissuaded, not so much by my predicament, but by the profound counsel and teachings of this good man, whom, right after my parents, I will always hold in highest esteem. JERONIMUS: Then, my dear son-in-law, you no longer maintain that the earth is round? That's the weight that lies heaviest on my heart. MoNT ANus: My dear, father-in-law! I will no longer dispute it. But just let me say that all learned people are now of the opinion that the earth is round. JERONIMUS: Oh! Lieutenant, sign him up again until the earth becomes flat. MONT ANus: My dear father-in-law! The earth is as flat as a pancake! Now are you happy? JERONIMUS: Yes, now we're good friends again. Now you may wed my daughter. Everyone come to my house and drink to the reconciliation! Lieutenant, please honor us by joining in. [EvERYONE exits.] THE END

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Ulysses von Ithacia OR A GERMAN COMEDY

A COMEDY IN FIVE ACTS BY LUDVIG HOLBERG

U

ITHACIA is Holberg's most complex satire. It was one of the last of the comedies written between 17 22 and May 172 3, and was completed around New Year's. First and foremost a literary satire that establishes one of the boundaries of his own comic aesthetic, it lampoons the German plays that were so popular in the marketplaces. The Levnedsbrev from 1728 states that Holberg specifically targeted Salomon von Quoten's German theatre on Brolregger Street. Ulysses is a play without rules. The unities of time, place, and action are entirely ignored: one character ages only a few minutes, while another ages several years; the setting jumps from Ithaca to Troy to Finland and back to Ithaca so rapidly that some of the characters cannot keep up with it; and the action first focuses on the Trojan War, then the enticings of Queen Dido, and finally the ill-fated homecoming of our heroes. The comedy is couched in the classics, The Iliad, The Odyssey, and The Aeneid, which adds a literary facet to the play that is nowhere to be found in the German comedies. In Holberg, it is only to be found in Melampe, which establishes his aesthetic's second boundary by satirizing neoclassicism. Ulysses scrambles the Greek classics. Names are mixed, punned, and mispronounced; Greek and Roman gods appear side-by-side; events from the Bible, Norse mythology, and even the Song of Roland are intertwined. Anachronisms abound, the social and political situations are contemporary, there are Jewish tailors, swine flu, modem dresses, and even comments on the prevailing moral code and the absurdities of war. Holberg has noblemen speak in exaggerated, pompous language; ladies in simpering, flowery speech; and commoners in the everyday language of Copenhagen. Holberg not only satirizes the literary aspects of the German scripts, but also the theatrical conventions of the German productions as well. Costumes only suggest character, props are make-do at best, crowds are represented by the use of marionettes, and settings are unduly sparse. If that is not enough, Holberg has a mouthpiece in the character of Chilian, who is in league with the audience and constantly breaks character to comment on the absurdity of the actions and the script and to point out how much they are like a German comedy. Although Holberg's use of the classics for his satire is unique, the use of these for comic purposes is not. One of Holberg's most important sources, Le Theatre italien de Gherardi (Paris, 169497) contains a three-act comedy, "Ulisse et Circe," which clearly provided much inspiration for Act IV of Ulysses. The German opera company at the Danish Court Theatre also performed "Des LYSSES VON

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Ulysses von Ithacia Ulisses zweiter Theil," on the eleventh of October I 722. Holberg clearly knew the piece, and even makes reference to his distaste for opera in Act II. In the libretto, one can see some occassional inspiration for Holberg's comedy. But these sources do not detract from the monumental achievement of Ulysses von Ithacia. They merely demonstrate Holberg's extensive knowledge of contemporary theatre, the classics, and the development of his own comic aesthetic. Ulysses was probably first performed in May I724, although its premiere could also have been the eleventh of June I 724, as indicated by IIis in the Prologue. It was first published in 1725.

Characters in the Comedy

ULYSSES

CHILIAN

PARIS

MARCOLFUS

BEERGARDEN

HELEN

RASMUS

ROSYLIPS

ELISA

PENELOPE

DIDO

A TROJAN

FIRST JEW

EMPEROR ASVERUS

SECOND JEW

TEIRESIAS

Iris Juno Pallas Venus Holofemes Mithridates Recuiting Officer Farmer Various Others: Servants, Henchmen, Soldiers, and Comrades.

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Ulysses von Ithacia OR A GERMAN COMEDY BY LUDVIG HOLBERG

PROLOGUE Iris- Paris IRIS: [With radiant beams around her head. ]I am Iris, The Rainbow, lady's maid to the great Juno. 1 My duties are to do that for Juno which Mercury does for Jupiter. 2 When the queen of the gods gives a nod, I must make ready to travel! Now I'm in heaven, now on earth; now at the south, now at the north pole; now in the great cities, now among the shepherds and shepherdesses in the country. The main reason for my job's restlessness is my great Lady's jealousy and suspicion; for the second the gods' monarch casts the radiant beams of his eyes on a nymph or shepherdess, m'Lady is immediately alarmed. First I must hop off my cloud and get to earth to investigate the nature of the incident, after that I'm off to Pluto's dark realms to one or another of hell's goddesses with orders to punish the nymph or shepherdess who ignited Jupiter's passion. 3 But no day gives me more trouble than that damned eleventh of June. 4 Since my lady is the greatest woman in heaven and on earth, she is also entitled to the most interest. But the reason I'm down here now is to speak with that Trojan prince, Paris, whom Juno, along with two other goddesses has chosen to settle a dispute amongst them. 5 He's usually hanging around this grove. But there I see him. PARIS: There's Iris, Juno's faithful messenger. Welcome r. Iris: the Greek goddess of the rainbow; messenger of the gods. Juno: the Roman goddess of marriage; wife of Jupiter and queen of the gods. 2. Mercury: the Roman god of commerce, skill, and cleverness; messenger of the gods. Jupiter: the Roman god ruling all gods and people. 3· Pluto: the Roman god of hell, the underworld.

4· June eleventh was Settlement Day, when accounts, such as mortgages, were settled and when interest was calculated and due. A second Settlement Day, for semiannual arrangements, was December eleventh. 5· Paris: in Greek legend, a son of Priam, the king of Troy. His kidnapping Helen started the Trojan War.

PROLOGUE down to earth, Heavenly Nymph! What is your business? With whom do you wish to speak? IRIS: I have orders to speak with the charming Trojan Prince Paris. PARIS: That's me. IRIS: Listen, Paris; thou who art known not only for your handsomeness but also for your equitable judgment over the whole of Asia, from the borders of the Moors to the farthest ends of America! M'Lady Juno and two other goddesses, Pallas and Venus, have selected thee to judge a dispute that has arisen amongst them. 6 PARIS: Tell me, oh Iris, what is the nature of this dispute? IRIS: On the thirteenth of this rilorith, the great Jupiter cast a golden apple 7 amongst them, on which was inscribed, "This shall belong to the most beautiful goddess." But you know how women are, not one, no matter how ugly she is, will yield to another when it comes to beauty. It's like that on earth, and our goddesses in heaven are painted with the same brush. And since Juno, Pallas, and Venus are all known for their beauty, the dispute is very difficult to resolve. All three have, however, agreed to submit to your judgment without appeal, even though they were all so excited at first that they considered taking each other to the Supreme Court. PARIS: I shall await their descent and will make a proper judgment. IRIS: Juno wants nothing more than a fair verdict. But she respectfully asked that Your Highness not reject ten gold ducats that she offers, not for you to judge in her favor, but alone for friendship's sake. PARIS: No, Mademoiselle Iris! I certainly will not accept any gift; a judge must not allow himself to be bribed. Now if I had been married, she could have addressed herself to my wife. Then she could have accepted it, and my conscience would be clear. IRIS: Oh! I implore you not to reject them. This gift is not made to bribe you, but alone as a sign of friendship. Just see how they glisten? PARIS: I see that they are good Dutch ducats. Listen, my dear maiden! If I knew that this gift was not for that 6. "borders of the Moors": Africa's borders. Pallas: the Greek goddess Athena, goddess of wisdom. Venus: the Roman goddess of love.

7· It was not Jupiter, but Eris, the Greek goddess of discord, who cast the apple that precipitated the Trojan War.

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Ulysses von Ithacia purpose, I would certainly accept it; for money is no laughing matter these days. [He accepts the coins.] Do give my regards to Juno and say that I will remember her because of her consideration for me. [IRIS exits.] PARIS: No position is more difficult than that of a judge. One must have a mind that can grasp an issue, ability to line up one argument against another, and finally, the integrity to withstand temptations. I have, by the justness of my verdicts, developed such a reputation that not only humans but goddesses choose me to arbitrate their disputes. But there I see them coming. [JuNo, PALLAS, and VENUS enter wearing Watteau gowns.] 8 JuNo: Oh, Paris! You receive an honor today that has befallen few humans: three mighty goddesses submit to your judgment. The one of us you judge to be most beautiful posseses the golden apple that Jupiter has cast among us. PARIS: Ihro Durchleuchtigkeiten, meine gniidigste Frauen! 9 One cannot judge a person's beauty by the facings alone; true connoisseurs, nowadays, look least of all on that. It is therefore necessary that Your Highnesses undress completely. JuNO: What? Should we be naked? PARIS: I cannot judge those things I cannot see. PALL AS: I'm never going to do it! VENUS: If no one else will, I will; for the dispute cannot be decided in any other way. PALL AS: That's just like you, ma Sreur/ 10 This certainly isn't the first time you've paraded around naked for young men. VENUS: Is that what you say, Goody Two-shoes? These coy, educated women cannot be believed anymore than any one else. JuNo: You've got the nerve to talk, Madam, you whose husband, Vulcan, has been summoned before the Matrimonial Court several times. Everyone knows about your escapades with both Mars and other officers. 11 VENUS: I defy you or anyone else to say the least thing 8. The Watteau gown (after the French painter Antoine Watteau) became popular in the 1720s. It featured a back that flowed free from the shoulders, training behind. See The Political Tinker, note 2.

9· Ihro ... Frauen: "Your highnesses; my most gracious ladies." ro. ma Sreur: "my sister." I r. Vulcan: the Roman god of fire. Mars: the Roman god of war.

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PROLOGUE against my honorable name and reputation. I do not deny that my husband, Vulcan, has had his suspicions about me, but have I not been acquitted by the court? Didn't he have to apologize to me in the bargain? If Jupiter was as jealous as Vulcan, I hope we could begin hearing a few stories about her. (All three argue, speaking at the same time with clenched fists.] PARIS: Quiet! Respect for the court! You're acting like a bunch of shyster lawyers. Let's hear you one at a time. JuNo: Listen, Paris. To doubt that my beauty outshines that of all other goddesses is to ascribe bad taste to Jupiter, who chose me over all others to be his wife. You'd better beware that you don't judge anyone to be my equal in beauty. If you award me the golden apple, you shall be the richest and most powerful man in the world. PALL AS: Juno offers riches and prosperity, I on the other hand offer wisdom and virtue. Since virtue and wisdom are superior to riches, I hope you choose me, oh Paris, who can give you the most magnificent reward. VENUS: Riches and wisdom do seem to be great gifts. But how many men reap only misfortune by their riches and how few advance in the world through virtue and wisdom, which have been out of style now for many years. If you grant me the disputed apple, I promise you the most beautiful woman in the world as your wife. PARIS: [To himself.] I have all the riches I need; and I have more than enough wisdom for these times. The most beautiful woman in the world is the magnet that pulls. I must announce my verdict. (Sits on a stool.] Here is my ruling in the Case of the Three Glorious Goddesses: Whereas Juno and Pallas have refused to undress completely and by so doing have clearly revealed the doubts they have of their own beauty; Venus, on the other hand, trusting her rightful claim, did not seek to hide any of her documentation pertaining to the enlightenment of these proceedings, but has been willing to allow her evidence to be evaluated by the court: it is my verdict that she, Venus, be awarded the golden apple as the one most beautiful. Juno and Pallas are assessed two hundred rix-dollars to cover her per diem, and in addition because of their brash testimony during the trial, ten rix-dollars to the Christianshavn Church. 12 12. Christianshavn Church is Our Saviour's Church in Copenhagen, the construction of which was partly financed by such fines, and which benefited from them unti11919.

20!

Ulysses von Ithacia JuNo: [Aside.] I hope you choke on my ten ducats! Never again will I give anything to a judge before a trial. [Aloud.] Listen, Paris! The beautiful woman that Venus gives you shall be the downfall of you, your family, and the entire Trojan kingdom! (Everyone exits.] END OF PROLOGUE

ACT I Scene 1

MARCOLFUS 13 : [Alone.] Serviteur tres humble, Messieurs/ 14 I don't know if any of you know me. (Turns around to the whole audience.] I serve Paris, son of King Priapus of Troy. 15 We've traveled over four hundred German miles here to Ithaca to kidnap the beautiful Helen; 16 please keep that to yourselves. Since he saw her portrait in Troy, Paris had no peace, night or day, until he could come here. You'd never imagine that he's as great a lord as he is by either his looks or clothing; fact is, he looks more like an old, discharged tax collector than a great lord because of the way he's been manhandled getting here. We've pushed so hard night and day that we haven't had time, to say it for polite ears, to put on a clean shirt the whole trip. Aber was thut die Liebe nichU 17 as the Germans say. I wonder what time it is? [He looks up as though looking at a clock tower.] Oh, hell! It's already eight! M'Lord will be here any second, for I snooped out that the lovely Helen will be strolling in here just about now with her maid. M'Lord has in mind to grab her and carry her off with him to Troy. Just between us, Messieurs, he doesn't plan to marry her, just keep her as his mistress, which can't be done if he stays here in this country, because the second she gets pregnant, even though their social ranks are quite unequal, the good Paris would 13. Marcolfus: after the title character in the popular chapbook A Merry Conversation Between King Solomon and Marcolfus. This popular story was translated from German in the sixteenth century and reprinted as late as 1859· 14. Serviteur ... Messieurs: "Your most humble servant, Messieurs." 15. Priapus: the Greek and

Roman god of the phallus. Here the name is a comic variation of King Priam. r6. Helen: Helen of Troy; in the legend, the beautiful wife of Menelaus, king of Sparta. In Ulysses von Ithacia, Helen is not married. I7. Aber ... nicht: "But what not for love?"

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ACT I, Scene

2

be forced to dance blithely with her to the Matrimonial Court and marry her like an untouched virgin. Who the devil can prove anything about such tarts? Sometimes they go to bed with notable men just to get certificates from them attesting to their honesty. But here comes m'Lord. Scene 2 Paris - Marcolfus PARIS: Oh, Cupid! 18 You are a tyrant. MARCOLFUS: You can say that again, even though his mama, Venus, heard it a thousand times. PARIS: Oh, my faithful servant, Marcolfus! Is this the place, the horizon, where Ithaca's sun and morning star shall appear today? MARCOLFUS: Yes, that's true. PARIS: Oh, Marcolfus! I'm afraid that I'll faint when I finally see her, and therefore won't be able to fulfill that which I've come to do. Oh, Venus! What evil did I do that caused you to order your blind and winged son, Cupid, to pierce my princely heart so deeply? MARCOLFUS: Yes, that's true, that was a dirty trick Venus played on you, and I'd dare to say that to her face. That woman must be worse than Maren the Matchmaker19 was in the old days. If I were Jupiter, she'd sure as hell have more to do than run around coupling people. I'd ·say to her, very politely, "Listen, bitch, get your spinning wheel and go to work; that would be better." But here they come; prick up your ears. PARIS: Oh, hold me, Marcolfus! My legs won't support me. MARCOLFUS: M'Lord! Don't act so damned silly. You're as afraid as if you were going up to take your theological examinations.

Helen -

Scene 3 Beergarden - Paris - Marcolfus

HELEN: My very dearest Beergarden, wasn't it a delightful golden apple that my mama gave me today? I forgot to bring it with me to this grove to show my playmates. BEERGARDEN: My most delightful virgin, you must give it to a noble, young knight whom you hold in high esteem. r8. Cupid: the Roman god of love; son of Venus. 19. Maren the Matchmaker:

"Maren Giftekniv" or "(Madame) Kirsten Giftekniv" is still a name denoting a matchmaker. 203

Ulysses von Ithacia But, oh, what's happened? Is the virgin in pain? [Holds a bottle of smelling salts under her nose.] HELEN: Oh, Beergarden! My virtue cannot tolerate your speaking of men in front of me. I warn you that from now on you must never mention a man's name in my presence. MARCOLFUS: [Aside.] Maybe the devil believes that. I know what can be done with such straitlaced women; they're far lustier than others. HELEN: Just listen to the delightful way the sweet nightingale sings. MARCOLFUS: The hell with anyone who hears anything, as sure as my name's Marcolfus. I don't hear anything excepting for people cracking nuts-in the gallery. BEERGARDEN: All the birds sing for joy when they see the sun. I mean my virgin's heavenly countenance, which is Ithaca's sun. MARCOLFUS: I think the girl is one hell of a lot prettier. Don't you think so, Messieurs? (Turns to PARIS.] M'Lordf' Now is the time, run! Hurry! Hurry! (He pushes him forward. PARIS grabs HELEN and carries her away. She screams for help and throws a string of pearls to BEERGARDEN.] HELEN: Deliver those pearls to the nobel knight Ulysses, 20 and beg him to revenge this rape! Ah ... Ah ... Ah! MARCOLFUS: Stop your damned screaming, girl! You don't know who it is! This is Paris, son of King Priapus of Troy. You've fallen into good people's hands. [They exit.] Scene 4 BEERGARDEN: [Alone.] Oh, heavens! Is it possible that the noble virgin, Ithaca's most precious jewel, is torn from my hands? The whole nation will sink into despair over that. I mourn for all of Ithaca's inhabitants who have suffered this disaster, the loss of their greatest treasure. But I mourn the very most for myself because I've lost such a gracious mistress. I'll never see you again, most beautiful virgin. Your own virtue will be your assassin, for when that evil robber merely asks you for love, I'm certain you'll kill yourself. Oh warriors of Ithaca! Revenge this virgin rape. Demonstrate that the great homage you have paid my virgin, the many sighs, the many genuflections have been not only for show, but are from the heart. But here comes the emperor's nephew, valiant Ulysses. 20.

Ulysses: Odysseus, king of Ithaca. 204

ACT I, Scene 5 Scene 5 Ulysses - Beergarden - Chilian - Two Servants ULYSSES: [With an affected, tremulous voice.] Tell me, my faithful servant, Chilian, whom dost thou think was best in yesterday's tournament? On which knight dost thou believe the delightful Helen, Ithaca's sun, shone the brightest? I believe her diamond eyes lingered most on the noble knight Polidorus. 21 I also noted the snake-venomed jealousy painted on the other courtiers' noble cheeks. But envy has always been virtue's companion. But how can the knight, shining from virtue, as the moon from the sun's golden rays, be free of it? Yea, I swear by the emperor's golden crown and scepter that Polidorus is the most valuable knight between Mundia22 and the Red Sea. But what is this maiden doing here? BEER GARDEN: [Kneeling.] Oh, help, Your Highness, help! ULYSSES: Arise, nymph, and let me hear thy concerns. BEER GARDEN: I won't let go of your feet until I'm assured that you'll hear my request. ULYSSES: If thy request is possible and dost not violate decency, then it shall be granted. Arise. BEERGARDEN: My Lord! Ithaca's sun is eclipsed. The beautiful Helen is carried off to Troy by Paris, son of King Priapus. See this pearl necklace that she threw from her neck, and bade me deliver to Your Knightliness, pleading for revenge on this rape, and taking up arms to free her again from the Trojan's hands. ULYSSES: Oh, heavens! What is this I hear? What great misfortune! Cry no more, maiden! I swear by Penelope's precious soul23 that injustice shall be revenged by Troy's utter destruction. Depart now, fair maiden, thou shalt have satisfaction. Scene 6 Ulysses - Chilian ULYSSES: Chilian! We must quickly make preparations: the Temple of Peace must close for a time and the Temple of Bellona again open; my dragonblood-smeared sword, 21. Polidorus: a Greek sculptor who lived in the first century B.c. 22. Mundia: a fantasy kingdom taken from Charlemagne's Chronicles, a chapbook first published in 1501. The attributes

ascribed to it by Holberg point to Pontus, an ancient kingdom in Asia Minor on the Black Sea. 23. Penelope: the wife of Ulysses.

205

Ulysses von Ithacia Durendal, must be drawn from its sheath; my shield, which I took from the king of Mesopotamia in the great battle bey Minchrelia, must be brought hither together with my diamond-hard coat of mail and my helmet which the Brazilian Queen von Sheba, with her alabaster hands, placed on my knightly brow when I was going to fight against the four-headed knight, Langulamisosopolydorus. My firebreathing battle horse, Pegasianus, who was once the great knight Polyphemus of Mundia, but was changed into a horse by his jealous step-mother, Constantinopolitania, must be saddled with my ivory saddle with its gold and pearl trappings embroidered by the Longobardian maiden, Rosylips;24 CHILIAN: That can be quickly done, if we first had an army on its feet. ULYSSES: Army! We shall soon have as many men gathered as there are grains of sand on the Arabian moors. Thou shalt be my ambassador and immediately fly off first to Mithridates, king of Mundia, who lives in a gold castle and bid him to come with his silver-armored army, consisting of a thousand times a thousand foot soldiers and five hundred thousand winged-horse soldiers, and help me against King Priapus, whose son has separated Ithaca from its most valuable treasure, by which I mean the beautiful Helen. Then thou shalt go to Duke Nilus of Podolia, who lives in a silver castle, and bid him to come and help me with his ten thousand ships, all of which are covered in velvet, have masts made from the horns of unicorns, and have sails of pure silk. Afterwards, go to Holofernes, count of Bethulia, who lives in a high ivory castle, for he is fourteen feet tall, and bid him to come and help with his five thousand ivory cannon, each one a sixty pounder. In the meantime, I shall not shave my beard until thy return. 25 (Exits.]

24. Bellona: the Roman goddess of war; sister of Mars. Durendal: the sword of Roland in Charlemagne's Chronicles. bey: "at." Minchrelia: a principality in the Caucusus; the battle with the king of Mesopotamia is invented. Sheba: actually a portion of southern Asia. Pegasianus: comic variation of Pegasus, the winged horse, who had nothing to do with Polyphemus, the Cyclops, who, in the legend, lived on Sicily.

Constantinopolitania: comic variation of the Turkish city Constantinople. Longobardian: a member of the Germanic tribe that settled in the Po Valley. 25. Mithridates: the king of Pontus, not the fictional Mundia. Duke Nilus of Podolia is Holberg's invention. Holofernes: the general of Nebuchadnezzar's army who was killed by the Jewish heroine Judith.

206

ACT I, Scene 7 Scene 7 CHILIAN: (Alone.] This is going to be one protracted trip! By the time I get back, Helen may no longer exist, for while the grass grows, the steed starves; and then we'd wage war fortuitously. I'd better go order a pair of shoes with chamois soles that will hold up for the trip. On the other hand, I was standing here wondering about why people wage war on earth. I never saw one beautiful spot on this Helen, for whom we're going through so much trouble. Paris was a little fool to come all this way to kidnap her and we're big fools for going to war to get her back again. But I don't dare discuss this with my master,_ sol'llgo in and get ready for my long trip. But I can say this, I'm the first ambassador to ambass on foot. But that doesn't mean anything, I still am and remain the same for it. But there I see Rosylips, Helen's sister, coming. 26 I don't feel like listening to her howl about her sister's misfortune, so I'm leaving. Scene 8 RosYLIPS: (Alone.] Oh, my very dearest sister, Ithaca's sun and happiness, the family treasure and gemstone, how is it possible for me to live for long without you? In the three months since you, my sun, set for me, that is, since you were kidnapped, my body is already so exhausted and my countenance is so changed from sorrow that my girl friends and playmates cannot look at me without their teardrops gushing. "Oh, Rosylips," they say, "where is your flowering face, your rose-red cheeks, your diamond-glistening eyes? Everything about you is darkened, withered, and wilted like a plucked blossom, with no moisture left to sustain its natural beauty." Oh! I wish it were proper for me to join the campaign that the Ithacan soldiers, together with the proud knight Ulysses, will wage against the Trojan robber. Oh, I wish ... But here comes the noble Penelope, wife of the invincible and lion-hearted Ulysses. Now I'll find out from her how they are coming with the preparations. Scene 9 Penelope - Rosylips PENELOPE: See here, Madam! Is she there? You'll surely see that nothing will come of this; have you deluded yourself 26. Rosylips, Helen's sister, is Holberg's invention. 207

Ulysses von Ithacia that my husband is going to gallivant around the world looking for your dirty sister? RosYLIPS: How dare you speak so contemptuously about the one who is regarded by all as Ithaca's greatest treasure? PENELOPE: Bull! I spit on such treasure. That bitch! Who does she think she is that a whole country should be armed on her account? RosYLIPS: You must be the bitch. The great preparations for war that are made for her sake are testimony enough that my sister's virtue and beauty outweigh everything in Ithaca. You are much too powerless to hinder the Ithacan warriors in their noble cause. PENELOPE: Yes, I'd dare to stop it. RosYLIPS: You stop it? PENELOPE: Yes! For your nose! RosYLIPS: It's going to happen even if you go crazy! PENELOPE: And you couldn't stop me from stopping it if you were crazy! RosYLIPS: Says you? PENELOPE: Says me! [Snaps her fingers.] That's for you, y'old goat! RosYLIPS: [Snaps her fingers.] And that's for you! PENELOPE: [Slaps her face.] That's for you! RosYLIPs: [Slaps her in return.] And that one's for you! [They grab each others' hair and pull off each others' hats.] Scene ro Chilian - Penelope - Rosylips [In travel clothes.] Hey! What's gotten into you? Do you want to kill each other? [CHILIAN tries to break them up, but they grab him by the hair and pull him down to the floor.]l'm an ambassador! That's against international law! [ROSYLIPS runs OUt with PENELOPE chasing close behind.)

CHILIAN:

Scene

II

[Alone.] Don't you think it's impertinent to deal like that with an ambassador, whose person is so holy that it's against international law to lay a hand on his horse, dog, or the lowest member of his entourage, let alone himself? I'll teach those bitches what happens when you grab an ambassador extraordinary by the hair. Justwait 'til I come back, you're going to get one hell of an examination.

CHILIAN:

208

ACT I, Scene

r2

Right now I don't have time for revenge, I have to get on with my journey. [Exits.] Scene

12

[Trumpets blast.] EMPEROR ASVERUS 27 enters with his HENCHMEN and COURT As VE Rus: Noble knights and brave warriors, you can judge for yourselves how it wounds me to the heart to send my dear nephew, the courageous Ulysses, so far away. But who can restrain him in such a noble cause? I am allowing him, at his request, to enlist as many men as he desires. I am also permitting anyone, even my most valuable warriors, who, of their own free will, wish to join in this campaign, to follow him. I have given him permission to let his drums roar throughout the empire. A KNIGHT: We thank your Imperial Majesty for allowing us to revenge this virgin-rape. The beautiful Helen was a virgin on whom everyone's eyes dwelled, so that not only our nation's honor, but also the hope that we, too, may enjoy this treasure, drives us to this campaign. AsvERus: I praise your lofty ideals, my proud knights! Let it be known, that on your victorious return, each one, according to his merits, shall be richly rewarded. Let us retire to counsel more regarding this campaign. [The EMPEROR and his court exit. A RECRUITING OFFICER enters beating a drum, followed by many. He stops and reads the following:] RECRUITING OFFICER: Inasmuch as the Ithacans, under the leadership of the fearless Ulysses, in order to revenge the virgin-rape committed by Paris, son of King Priapus, intend to embark upon a campaign against the Trojans, let any and all who would join this same campaign be advised to gather quickly on the large square where the standard stands unfurled. They shall be enlisted at once and receive three months' pay in advance. [Beats the drum again and exits.] Scene 13 ULYssEs: [Alone. Enters wearing a long beard.] This entire year has now passed, solely with battle preparations. Now I wait alone for Chilian's return, and have not allowed my beard to be shaved until I receive responses from the leaders 27. Emperor Asverus, uncle of Ulysses, is Holberg's invention.

209

Ulysses von Ithacia to whom he was sent. But I feel that Morpheus, the god of sleep or the brother of death, will visit me. I can hardly hold open my eyes, such a heaviness has come over me. [Sits down and falls asleep.) Scene 14 Chilian - Ulysses CHILIAN: Now, after a whole year I've finally accomplished my mission and returned to my Fatherland. A year goes by mighty fast! To me it didn't even seem like half an hour. But there's my master, sitting there asleep. Good grief! He certainly grewlhat beard quickly! Oh; yes, I forgot, lie had a whole year to grow it. But in the same time my beard hasn't grown at all. I don't understand that; maybe beards don't grow in other countries like they do here. What the hell! It's awfully loose! [He takes off the beard and holds it in front of his own face. He turns to the audience.) Now can you see by my beard, Monsieur, that I've been away for a whole year? You're so damned skeptical! You have to have proof in your hands! [CHILIAN goes to the side. In the meantime, ULYSSES wakes up and feels his chin.] ULYSSES: Ach Ihr Gotter! 2 s I feel that my dream hath been fulfilled! I dreamed that the winged god Mercury came to me with these words, "Your faithful servant, Chilian, has returned." Whereupon he shaved my knightly beard. There I see him. Welcome back my faithful servant! I doubt not that thy errand is successfully completed; yea, the heavens hath led thee both on thy way and thy return. CHILI AN: Sprelamdisimo reenkaalavet Speckavree9 ULYSSES: Oh, Heavens! Perhaps he has forgotten his fatherland's language! CHILIAN: Copisoisandung Slrestimund Sprelamdisimo reenkaalavret sprekavret. 30 ULYSSES: Chilian! I cannot understand what thou sayest! CHILIAN: Juchatan Skabhalsiaskomai klemmebasiopodolski. 31 28. Ach Ihr G!.itter: "Oh you

gods!" 29. Sprelamdisimo ... Speckavret: these invented words

nursing its mother; pure cabbage eaten; fat eaten." 30. Copisoisandung, Slrestimund

were explained in H. F. Feilberg's

.. .: "imitate in truth, wicked mouth ... "

Bidrag til en ordbog over iyske almuesmaal (1886-1914) as

31. Juchatan ... klemmebasiopodolski: exaggerated

smashed together Danish words meaning, "A newborn lamb is

comic variations of insults: "Scoundrel; idiot." 210

ACT II, Scene

I

ULYSSES: Canst thou no longer speak any of thy father's language? CHILIAN: Ski olski dolski podolski opodolski iopodolski siopodolski asiopodolski basiopodolski ebasiopodolski mebasiopodolski emmebasiopodolski klemmebasiopodolski. ULYSSES: The Mesapotamian language is a strange language. It is a great misfortune that I cannot understand him and hear that which he hath accomplished. But hast thou completely forgotten the Ithacan language that thou canst not even understand what I say? CHILIAN: Yes, I've completely forgotten it. But I can say this much anyway; the leaders told me to convey their regards and say that they will nieet you at Troy as soon as possible. ULYSSES: Come then! We must quickly prepare for the trip! END OF ACT I

ACT II Scene r [Outside the gates of Troy.]

CHILIAN: [Alone.] My, my, how time flies! Now we've arrived at Troy, almost two thousand miles from our Fatherland. If I didn't see the town with my own eyes, I'd think things happened here like in a German comedy, where with just one step you can walk over four thousand miles and in just one evening become forty years older than you were before. But it's certainly true; here lies Troy, where I point with my finger. [Picks up a candle and walks over to the sign.] Here it's written in Gothic print: This is Troy. But there I see a Trojan peasant coming, I must ask him about the local situation. Scene 2 Chilian- A Trojan CHILIAN: Hello, comrade! Where do you live? TROJAN: I live in Troy. CHILIAN: I've heard there's a foreign virgin there named Helen. Do you know her? TROJAN: Yes, I certainly know her, the good virgin; she's just given birth to twins. CHILIAN: Well then, to my way of thinking, she's no longer a virgin. 2!!

Ulysses von Ithacia TROJAN: Yeah, well, among us they're still considered virgins, even if they've had sixteen children, until they get married. CHILIAN: It's the same with us. TROJAN: Where do you call home, countryman, inasmuch as you're asking? CHILIAN: I'm a foreign merchant. What kind of people are the Trojans? TROJAN: They're a little poor, but haughty. No sooner is a man given two marks than you're sure he won't be going on foot that day. 32 CHILIAN: It's the same with us. TRoJAN : Our greatest talent is to spend more than we can earn. CHILIAN: It's the same with us. But what does that result in? TROJAN: The result is that they eventually tum all property into cash, which they lend out against interest, then go bankrupt, and end up in the poorhouse where they exist on public assistance for the rest of their lives. CHILIAN: That's the same as it is with us. But are your judges somewhat fair? TROJAN: Damned fair; for they never accept bribes, but to keep a clear conscience they let their wives accept them. CHILIAN: That's just how it happens with us. Is usury rampant with you? TROJAN: No, it's reasonable enough; they never openly charge more than five percent to prevent scandal, but under the table, to get around the law, borrowers have to pay twenty percent in advance. CHILIAN: That's just how it happens with us. But do your wives keep a good house? TROJAN: Sure they keep house; the trouble is, the house can't keep them; but you have to give them credit, they never go out before ten o'clock in the morning. CHILIAN: That describes us to the letter. Are your streets fairly clean? TROJAN: They're spotless in July, but the rest of the year we can hardly go out for fear of drowning in the mud; but that's only eleven months of the year, they go quickly. If we could make some sort of arrangements to stop all the rain, I'd defy any city to be as clean as ours. 32. At the time, Copenhagen was known for its unusually large number of coaches. These could be rented for an entire day for one rix-dollar. 2I2

ACT II, Scene

2

CHILIAN: That's the same as it is with us. But do your women walk around very much every day? TROJAN: No, it's evil people who accuse them of that. They don't walk around, but ride in carriages, every one, even down to the wives of craftsmen, so the ladies among us could get along entirely without their feet. CHILIAN: It's the same with us. But do they work hard? TROJAN: Not particularly. CHILI AN: Then they could also do without their hands. TROJAN: No thank you! How would they play cards? What would the young men have to kiss? CHILI AN: Right enough. It's the same with us. Do your learned people write many books? TROJAN: No, only children. CHILIAN: It's the same with us. Are many beneficial public projects undertaken? TROJAN: I've never yet seen a project benefit much of anything, excepting for the project sponsor himself. CHILIAN: It's the same with us. But are your servants fast? TROJAN: Damned fast. One of our maids is so fast and so eager that she can't stay a full month with one family, but changes service twelve times a year. CHILIAN: It's the same with us. But are you people Godfearing? TROJAN: Very God-fearing. CHILIAN: Do they also perform good works? TROJAN: No, they only pray. CHILIAN: It's the same with us. What's the favorite entertainment with you people? Do you have comedies or operas? 33 TROJAN: Of course! CHILI AN: How are your operas? TROJAN: Very funny. For example, when a man wants his servant to pull on his boots, he orders it in trills and song like this: (Sings.] Listen, Claus! Pull on my bo-o-o-o-ots. CHILIAN: It's the same with us! TROJAN: Adieu, my good man. I must go now; from my heart, I am your most obediant servant. CHILIAN: You don't mean much by that? TROJAN: Of course not, that's true enough. It's just the way we say things here. 33· In 1721, Frederik IV dismissed the (comic) French actors from the Royal Court Theatre and replaced them with a German opera troupe. The popular Danish theatre on Lille Grmmegade, for which Holberg wrote, came into existence in 1722 as a direct result of that action. 2!3

Ulysses von Ithacia CHILIAN: So it is, and with us. Adieu. [TROJAN exits.] It's a shame that we have to wage war with a people so like us in every way-and this for the sake of a virgin who just had twins. But we've made far too many preparations for war to change our minds. Now that I've ascertained the city's condition, I don't believe it can withstand an eight-day siege. Knowledge about the enemy's condition is the most important thing for an army. When the city is taken, either Ulysses or Holofernes will get the credit, as usual, and my name probably won't even be mentioned in the newspapers. It isn't worth a damn to be a subordinate. But there I see the soldiers coming.

Chilian -

Scene 3 Ulysses - Holofernes

[SoLDIERS enter and are ordered into formation.) HoLOFERNES: [Delivers a speech.) Brave knights and soldiers! We did not come here to win land or riches, but to revenge a virgin-murder, and so no war, more honorable gefiihret ist. 34 Just follow my example; fight like men and maintain good battle discipline. The most important things for you to watch are your tempo, which should be ein, zwey, drey, 35 and that you slap your hands straight onto the cartridge box; for if you are not careful with those, I wouldn't give four pennies for everything else. U 1 YssE s: Listen m'Lords! Before we begin our siege, it would be best to send Chilia:il to King Priapus with olive branch in hand, offering him peace if he will deliver the beautiful Helen into our hands. [They all agree.] CHILIAN: M'Lords! I'd very much prefer that someone else would be ambassador; for it could happen, if King Priapus be a hasty man, that he might cut off my head, then I'd be standing there headless. ULYSSES: There is nothing to fear, Chilian! If he cuts off your head, we'll do the same with the first twenty distinguished Trojans who fall into our hands. CHILIAN: That may be, My Lord, but what if none of the twenty heads fit my body? ULYSSEs: Oh, just get thee hence! He isn't going to break international law. CHILIAN: All right, so I'll go. ULYssEs: In the meantime, we'll just retreat with the army. 34· gefiihret ist: "is being conducted; waged."

35. ein, zwey, drey: "one, two, three." 2!4

ACT II, Scene 4 Scene 4 CHILIAN: [Alone.) Now where can I quickly find an olive branch? What luck! There's one right here. (Picks up a broom straw that is lying on the stage and lays it on his arm. To the audience:) On my honor it's no broom straw, Monsewers. I know you're certainly not blind. See! Now you can see that it is an olive branch. You've got to have a touch more respect for an ambassador than to make fun of him. I wish it was the devil pulling your leg, do you see it clearly? Now I'm going to Troy. [Knocks on the gate.) Scene 5 Chilian - Helen HELEN: Who's so daring as to knock like that on the gates of Troy in wartime? With whom would you like to speak? I am Helen. CHILIAN: See here my dear virgin! Do you trouble yourself to open up? I suppose the virgin doesn't recognize me again? HELEN: I think I've seen you before. CHILIAN: I am Ambassador von Chilian. HELEN: Now I remember! You're the faithful servant to that great knight Ulysses. CHILIAN: Not anymore, but thanks anyway. Now I am ambassador extraordinary for the entire army, dependent upon no one but General Holofernes, who is fourteen and a half feet tall. The entire army salutes me when I pass by; for you must know, virgin, that ambassadors extraordinary do not grow on trees. HELEN: I don't believe one could find an ambassador more extraordinary than you. But what is your mission? CHILIAN: I have an official greeting from General Holofernes, who is fourteen and a half feet tall, with the request that King Priapus hand over the virgin or prepare to come under siege. HELEN: You can be sure that I'll never be handed over so long as one man is left in Troy. King Priapus has sworn it. CHILIAN: Well then, my good people, you'd better prepare yourselves to endure what follows. I'm going straight home to put on my boots; for tomorrow I hope to wade in Trojan blood up to my knees. HELEN: Oh, cursed be the hour that I was born, that I, by my beauty, should be the reason for such terrible bloodshed. It would have been far better to have been born deformed; 2!5

Ulysses von Ithacia then I could have lived in happiness and peace. Instead I am now hated and begrudged by all of womankind, yea, by the goddesses themselves because of my delightful countenance. (She weeps.] CB.ILIAN: Virgin! Now I have performed my public mission. But like all ambassadors, I have secret instructions and have been ordered to discover, under cover, if the virgin is still untouched. HELEN : I swear to you, Chilian ... CHILIAN: What's with Chilian? I am His Excellency! HELEN : I swear, Your Excellency, that no man has lifted his little finger against me since I was stolen away. CHILIAN: Dear virgin, that kind of damage is not inflicted with a finger. I knew a man with both arms shot off, who's been hauled up before the Matrimonial Court at least six times. But I must go. (HELEN goes in.] Scene 6 CHILIAN: [Alone.] Either I must be blind, or everyone else is; for in my eyes she seems more like a midwife than one whom the goddesses envy for her beauty. The first time I saw her I thought she was Peer Wagonman's Dorthy; that's how she struck me. But I guess I have to be blind to this as well as to everything else in this story. Now I have to go and report her answer to the army. Gevehr pr