Jared, the Subway Guy: Winning Through Losing: 13 Lessons for Turning Your Life Around 9780312353582, 0312353588, 2006043897

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NOT A

DIET

BOOK! NOT A

DIET

BOOK! NOT A

DIET

BOOK

JARED FOGLE WITH

ANTHONY BRUNO

JARED,

THE

SUBWAY GUY Winning Through Losing: 13 Lessons for Turning

ISBN O-312-35358-8

$22.95

/ * 2 9-95

can.

CHANGE YOUR LIFE YOUR OWN WAY! Jared

Fogle was

a seriously

overweight

Indiana University student when he decided

— not —could

that only he

meaning

friends

doctors, family, or well-

Without mentioning his

own

diet of

for lunch, year,

it

turn his

life

around.

to a soul, Jared devised

Subway sandwiches

(turkey sub

Veggie Delite for dinner). Within

he had

lost

exercising for the

a

almost 250 pounds, and began first

time

ever.

Once Subway got wind of

Jared's success

through the campus newspaper, they began using

him in

their national advertisements,

order Jared became a folk hero.

and

The

in short

country's

attraction to Jared wasn't just because of the spectacular weight loss, but something else, too: Jared's

triumph over weight was clearly not man-

ufactured by a

was genuine,

company

or a famous doctor, but

idiosyncratic,

In Jared, the

and built from within.

Subway Guy, you can tap into

that can-do, must-change spirit by absorbing Jared's simple, sensible messages, including these:

•

Find your personal spark (the thing that goads

you into action)

(continued on back flap)

Dl

f\

Digitized by the Internet Archive in

2012

http://archive.org/details/jaredsubwayguywiOOjare

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

JARED FOGLE with

Anthony Bruno

JAREDJHE SUBWAY GUY Winning Through Losing: 1

3 Lessons for Turning

Your

St.

Life

Martin's Pres

Around

££

New

York

The names of some

individuals have been changed.

jared, the subway guy. Copyright

©

2006 by Jared

reserved. Printed in the United States of America.

may

No

Fogle. All rights

part of this

book

be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written

permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied articles or reviews.

Avenue,

For information, address

New York,

St.

in critical

Martin's Press, 175 Fifth

N.Y. 10010. www.stmartins.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Fogle, Jared. Jared, the

Subway guy winning through :

losing

around /Jared Fogle, Anthony Bruno. cm. p. ISBN-13: 978-0-312-35358-2

your

life

—

:

13 lessons for turning

1st ed.

ISBN-10: 0-312-35358-8 1.

Weight

loss.

Bruno, Anthony.

RM222.2F637

2. Self-care, health. II.

3.

Nutrition.

4. Dieters.

I.

Title.

2006

2006043897

613.2'5— dc22 First Edition:

10

August 2006

987654321

To

all

the people in the world

overcoming obstacles all

those

who

who

in their lives,

desperately

want

are

and to to

Contents

Acknowledgments

ix

Introduction

xi

Lesson

1:Open Your Eyes

Lesson

2:

Do

Lesson

3:

Reach

for the Stars

48

Lesson

4:

Find Your Personal Spark

61

Lesson

5:

One

75

Lesson

6:

Change Your Mind

Lesson

7:

Don't

Anyone

103

Lesson

fl:

See the Big Picture

122

Lesson

9:

Throw Out Conventional Wisdom

140

lesson 10: Fill

Size Doesn't Fit All

Tell

Lesson

Move On

Lesson 13:

to

Change Your

Life

Is

90

156

the Void

Change

2:

25

Something

Lesson 11:

1

1

for Life

173

with Your Life

187

The Harder You Work,

Jared's 13 Lessons for

the Luckier

Changing Your

Frequently Asked Questions

You Get

Life, in

Review

198

213

217

Acknowledgments

I

would

thank JL Lou for

like to

and compassion

and overcome

most

it.

also

it

to thank

None

my

weight problem

for

me

during

my

weren't for his honesty and his alive today.

Ryan Coleman

article that eventually

me would have Praise

face

probably wouldn't be

want

newspaper attention.

I

me

JL was always there

difficult times. If

friendship, I

in helping

his incredible kindness

brought

for writing the

me

to national

of the great things that have happened to

ever occurred

if it

weren't for Ryan.

my manager, whose my message to a larger

and thanks to Mike Mead,

tireless efforts

have helped to bring

audience.

Over the years Subway and have always made

me

feel

their family of franchisees

special.

I

consider myself ex-

tremely fortunate to have their constant, enthusiastic support.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

x

I'm very grateful for

MMB my

my

ongoing relationship with the

Agency. They have consistently presented

me and

story with both creativity and honesty. I

would

also like to thank

Press, Elizabeth Beier;

my

my

editor at

literary agent,

Martin's

Al Zuckerman of

Writers House; and author Anthony Bruno, write this book.

St.

who

helped

me

Introduction

This

is

not a diet book. Diet books are about losing.

This

is

a

book about

gaining. Gaining knowledge. Gain-

ing confidence. Gaining self-esteem. Gaining happiness.

It's

about getting healthy, both physically and mentally.

It's

down

about knocking

way and is

them behind you. In other words,

putting

about getting a I

got

my

life

the obstacles that stand in your this

book

life.

back when

get yours back, too,

I

dropped 245 pounds. You can

no matter what obstacles you

face.

Trust me.

This book

is

not just for people with weight issues.

Problems are problems. Phobias, extreme shyness, addiction to drugs, alcohol, nicotine, shopping, all

obstacles in your way, stones

make

these stones

ingrained

dumb

gambling

—they're

on the road. Most of us

immovable boulders through our own

habits. That's

what

I

did.

When

I

was

at

INTRODUCTION

xii

my

heaviest,

day

— burgers,

tacos,

was eating more than 10,000

I

fries,

you name

it.

shakes, chips, pizzas, fried chicken,

A

normal person

about 2,000 calories a day.

down

ever cut

But

my

—

knew what

I

father

is

all

the things

I

easy on

it

overate because

And

I

spent

yet

more

I

me

knew

I

all

was

about

about eating

pigged out.

social

awkwardness.

way too much time TV.

I

But as

just plain loved the taste of food. felt

could

fatty, high-calorie

I still

my

playing video games and watching

I

I

My mother prepared healthy,

loved.

overate to compensate for

fatter,

how

healthy eating was

a doctor. He'd told

satisfying meals every day. I

couldn't imagine

I

balanced meals and taking foods

height should eat

to that.

harming myself. because

my

wasn't ignorant of the dangers.

I

calories a

isolated. Eventually

I

around

sitting

overate because I

grew

felt

fatter

that

I

I

I

and

didn't

have any real friends in the world except for one. Food.

A

lot

of people

know who

I

am

because of the Subway

sandwich shop commercials. I'm well known for holding

up

my

"fat pants," a pair of

waist. I've appeared in cials that

my

old jeans with a 60-inch

more than

thirty

Subway commer-

have been shown across the country and overseas

as well. I've

been on countless television shows, including

Oprah, and

I

was featured

episode of South Park.

been the punch hosts.

I

On more

than a few occasions

line to jokes told

got famous because

and then,

as a cartoon character in

after losing

I

an I've

by late-night talk show

was once tremendously obese,

an incredible amount of weight,

I

wasn't.

But I'm cool with that because the recognition

I've ac-

— mi

INTRODUCTION

me

quired has given

work with

the opportunity to

American Heart Association, leading Heart Walks

to raise

My

awareness about healthy choices and heart disease.

me

fame has also given

the opportunity to speak out about

childhood obesity, a topic personal experience.

the

know

I

from

quite a bit about

Most important,

it

has allowed

me

to

give other people hope, people with all kinds of problems,

not just weight issues. I

believe that all of us

can change our

lives.

I

did,

and

you can, too. I

have to repeat,

this

is

not a diet book.

them helped me.

of diet books, and none of

they were

all

worthless.

I've

Some people have

read a ton

It's

lost

not that

weight

fol-

lowing the advice in those books and the programs they

recommend. But

can say with confidence that no matter

I

what you're trying where

you yourself are ready, and you decide you're

until

going to do

no matter what.

it

For twelve years

and during

to accomplish, you'll never get any-

all

I

suffered with

that time

I

it.

Sure,

I

I

told myself

down and change my

ready to buckle

or Big

expanding body,

kept on eating because

ready to do anything about

down

my

wasn't I

was

habits, but deep

wasn't prepared to give up midnight pizza snacks

I

Macs

or

Whoppers

or buckets of Kentucky Fried

Chicken or Big Gulps or any of

that.

wasn't ready to

I

change.

But

when

truly serious

I

—

finally I

got

decided

my

I

was time

to get serious

butt in gear (a huge effort for me)

and did something about lously simple, but

it

it.

stuck to

it

My

plan was almost ridicu-

and

I

made

it

work. Through

INTRODUCTION

Ill

and

error,

diet that

made

trial

As

got myself mentally prepared, settled on a

I

sense to me, and followed through on

shed pounds,

I

I

learned

some important

it.

lessons, les-

sons that you can apply to remove any boulder standing in

your path.

I

didn't even

know

they were lessons until

looked back and took account of what

hope

now

that

is

had done.

I

you can learn from these same

you're probably using a useless

little

My

lessons. Right

tack

chip away at your immense problem. Well,

I

let

hammer

me

give

to

you

a great big bulldozer.

—and you —won't be

The solution you come up with be the one results

who comes up

won't come

because

it

When

I

University,

instantly.

will be yours.

peaked I

was

with

at

And

But

180 pounds.

I've

425 pounds

why

it

I

and the

will

sense to you

work.

freshman

at

My

road.

melted that boulder

down

gained back 10 and leveled off at 190, and

happy camper, because story will

Indiana

my own

boulder on

literally the

easy,

make

will

as a

have to

maintained that weight for the past six years.

a very

gle

I

it

that's

Over an eleven-month period, to

it

will

I

got

show you what

I

my

life

And

I'm

back.

learned from

my

strug-

with obesity and give you hope and real help that you

can apply to any problem you your

life

back, too.

may

have.

I

want you

to get

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

LESSON

1

Open Your Eyes

The

first

problem.

step toward change

When I was

at

my

is

heaviest, every time

morning when

mirror, every

to haul myself out of a chair

me

that

I

recognizing that you have a

I

—nearly everything I

I

I

had

did told

refused to ac-

it.

Simply admitting that you have a problem step. In the

is

a

huge

beginning you don't even have to do anything

about the problem. Just think about ation objectively and try to see

have to do

passed a

got dressed, every time

had a serious weight problem. But

knowledge

I

is

it

it.

for

Consider your

what

it

is.

All

situ-

you

admit that you have a problem and you're

al-

ready on the road to a solution. I

will never forget the

gist's office to finally face

of

my

life.

day

I

went

the music.

Just being in the

It

to

my

endocrinolo-

was the

scariest

day

examining room made me pan-

icky and claustrophobic even though

it

was bigger than the

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

2

little

was

rooms you

The

find in a regular doctor's office.

table

and closer to the ground. The chairs were extra

larger

wide with no armrests. The blood pressure cuff hanging on the wall

And I

was big enough

to put around

some

people's waists.

then there was the scale.

remember

sitting

on the

table, staring at the scale as

I

waited for the nurse to come in and weigh me. This was the

moment

had been dreading

I

examination for as long as

I

for years.

had put off

I

could, even tried to figure out

ways to cancel the appointment by faking some mysterious

illness that

this

would save me from

sort of

monster

this

embarrassment. But the scale was right there, standing

me

against the wall, looking back at me,, waiting for

on, snickering as I

knew

health

—

I

this

if it

already

knew how much

save myself from further embarrassment.

at

350.

could handle, but

1

down

have to go

weighed on the

I

did

know

not in

it,

my

wanted to

knew

that doc-

my

father's office this

one

if

you maxed out on one

two

alternatives. I'd either

that

to the local meat-packing plant scales they use for livestock, or

drive to a truck stop with a

my

I

just

had no idea how much weight

of these babies, you had only

weigh

I

for

— even the superheavyweight models—went up

only to a certain weight. The one in

topped out

weighed.

had to be done. Not so much

wasn't even thinking about that.

tors' scales

I

to get

and get I

could

weigh station where they'd again with

me

subtracting one figure from the other to get

my

car with

me

in

it,

then weigh

it

weight. In either case people would be watching, and didn't

want

to be

gawked

But more than that,

I

I

at like a side of beef or a big rig.

just didn't

want

to

know.

I

was

in

denial.

knew I had

I

seemed

the specifics

OPEN YOUR EYES

3

a problem, but

somehow not knowing

better than having to face a cold, hard,

undeniable number.

The examining room was sound of easy-listening music

room.

I

wondered

if

except for the muffled

silent

from the waiting

filtering in

they played this kind of bland, sooth-

went

ing music for the steers before they

to slaughter.

The room had no windows, and now closed

feel

building,

had to

and

be,

The

in. I

was on the ground

office

wondered

thought.

I

I

there

if

was

could sneak

out the back. But then

really started to

I

back door. There

a

down

thought about

I

floor of the

the hall

At

it.

and

my

slip

size

I

didn't

do much sneaking or slipping out of anything. Wher-

ever

was,

I

my

body made a statement

when

say, especially)

drummed my

I

mouth was

My my

dry.

I

I

didn't

fingers

cracked

legs trembled.

I

was

want

—even

on the edge of the

my

I

table.

afraid that

if I

tried to stand up, floor,

and be-

easy.

was no escape, no way around

my way out of it. This was my vision of hell,

My

knuckles out of nervousness.

me, getting back up wouldn't be realized that there

I

to.

knees would buckle. Then I'd be on the

lieve

(or should

it,

no

talking

Suddenly fast

knock

tering

I

was

scared. It

— one, two, three — but to my ears

ram breaking down I

"May come I

mother.

I

heard a knock on the door.

here to get me.

me back

and

to this

the door.

The

was it

a light,

was a

Fat Police

bat-

were

was busted! in,

Jared?"

It

was the nurse who'd brought

room. She sounded so

nice, like

someone's

JAHEO, THE SUBWAY 6UY

4

I

didn't answer.

couldn't.

I

"Jared?" she said. "Are you I

"Ah

coughed.

"May I come Could

Would

I

.

.

.

yeah,"

I

right?"

all

said.

"I'm fine."

in?"

Was

say no?

that an option?

she get the doctor?

Would

And what

she get

my

was waiting in the reception area? Please no, want anyone

didn't

"Yeah, sure,"

I

else to see

said.

me on

did?

father,

who

I

thought.

I

the scale.

"You can come

The door opened, and

if I

in."

there she was, a nice middle-aged

lady with wire-rimmed glasses, short blond hair, and a

kind smile. Too young to be a grandmother but too old to

have kids

kind of th^t in-between age. She

in school,

still

was wearing pale blue scrubs and around her neck. She seemed one thing about her that made

My

clipboard.

me

I

didn't

up on the

know what

was

wary. She was carrying a

chart was on that clipboard.

step

hung

totally nice, but there

where she wanted to write down

"Can you

a stethoscope

The chart

my weight.

scale for

me, Jared?"

to do.

"You don't have to take your shoes

off," she said.

Obviously the extra weight of a pair of sneakers didn't matter spare

much

me

back on

at

my

but she was probably trying to

size,

the ordeal of having to bend over and put

later.

She stood by and waited patiently as table

them

and stood up.

My

take a step, fearing that

knees I

felt

so

I

slowly got off the

weak

might collapse on

what would they do? Call

a

tow truck?

I

was

afraid to

the floor.

Then

OPEN YOUR EYES

I

moved

scale.

I

carefully, taking sliding

could swear the

"Just step right

My

But

thing was laughing at me.

me

not to do

did as she asked.

I

baby steps toward the

up on there," the nurse

brain was telling

to, Jared.

out of

damn

5

I

Faint

it:

knew

said. "That's it."

there

if

you have

was no way

it.

The counterweights were already pushed set at zero.

The

scale clanked as

I

to the left

stepped onto

it,

and

and the

pointer clunked into the up position. Sweat was dripping

down my brow.

I

usually perspired a lot because of

my

weight, but this was beyond normal. This was panic sweat.

"Okay," the nurse She

slid the big

150-, 200-, and

it

said. "Let's see

how we

do."

counterweight to the right, past the

250-pound notches, stopping

at

1

00-,

300.

The pointer

didn't budge.

She

small counterweight to the right, nudging

slid the

along. I

forced myself to keep

pointer.

It

my

eyes open, staring at the

wasn't moving.

She got to the midway point.

Nothing. She nudged the counterweight faster until she all

the

way

didn't move.

Oh, God,

thought.

She

it

to the right.

The pointer

pected that

moved

I

I

was, but

slid the

I

was over 350.

how much

I

had kind of

sus-

over 350?

small counterweight back to the

left

and

moved

the big one over another notch to 350. She slowly

moved

the small weight to the right.

JARED. THE SUBWAY GUY

6

The pointer stayed der

was glued

if it

right

where

there and this

was.

it

started to

I

was some kind of

won-

sick joke.

She kept pushing the small weight with her

finger.

stopped breathing, waiting for the pointer to move. 360

370

380

...

She

390

...

...

395

..

for the big weight.

My mouth was a

"Do you want me

to take

.

.

.

.

the small weight back to the

slid

I

my

left

and reached

desert.

shoes off?"

I

asked.

I

sounded so lame. "That's okay," she said, maintaining her pleasant de-

meanor. Whatever she thought of size,

me and my monstrous

she wasn't letting on.

She put her finger on the big weight and pushed another notch to the 400-pound position.

slamming

my

in

weight. 405

.

.

.

chest.

410

.

.

.

My

it

over

heart

was

She started to nudge the small

The pointer

didn't move, not even

a flutter.

She kept pushing. I

closed

My

my

eyes.

I

couldn't look.

was drenched.

shirt

wanted an earthquake

I

crack open the earth and swallow appear.

I

didn't

want

The sound of

me

up.

I

wanted

I

it

the metal weight sliding along the metal

going to stop?

wasn't born

played

all

tennis;

I

fat.

to dis-

to be here.

bar was like a samurai sword slowly sinking into

When was

to

As

a

little

kinds of sports

I

thought.

kid,

I

was

When? pretty normal, and

— basketball,

even ran track. But

when

I

my chest.

I

baseball, soccer,

started third grade,

OPEN YOUR EYES

something happened and

little

7

by

little

I

started to gain

weight.

One

contributing factor

loved food.

my

—you name Our

family loved food.

stocked

—mostly

physician, after

can pinpoint

that

is

it, I

liked

it.

with healthy food (my father was a

all),

while everyone in

my

but

my

mother kept some junk food

I

did.

loved food a

I

recently found

I

ex-

everyone else managed to burn

off the calories better than

Looking back, maybe

my

was the only one who gained a

I

Somehow

But

treats.

immediate family and even

tended family loved food,

they did.

Everyone

kitchen was always well

around, like chips and soda, for occasional

ton of weight.

just

I

kinds of food. Healthy food, not-so-

All

healthy food, junk food in

I

my

little bit

more than

fourth grade journal and was

shocked to find that nearly every entry was about food. That's

all I

wrote about.

would go on and on about food,

I

particularly school lunches. Every kid

I

knew thought

teria

food was the worst, but not me.

food.

I

looked forward to

room from

menu

the

on

the cafeteria and

that day,

air, totally

dog I

it.

I

was

blissed out

I

cafe-

loved cafeteria

If

a breeze blew into the class-

I

got a whiff of what was on

cartoon dog

like that

who

floats

by the mere thought of getting a

biscuit.

loved cafeteria food so

leftovers.

I

was

much

— and

would

particularly fond of the

steamed bun, the machine-made ketchup

I

whenever

dollar to school so

I

I

could,

eat

my

hamburgers

grilled patty, the I

friends'

—the

glob of

would sneak an extra

could buy an extra burger.

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

8

The other

my on

awkwardness.

social

my weight gain was

factor that contributed to

When

rejection or hurt feelings. If

I

I

was was

ever sad about some-

and

thing, the feeling didn't last very long,

pretty quickly. But by the time slights

and

in very well,

more

and

isolated.

nothing

I

became big

insults

I

now

that

I

I

didn't dwell

little, I

I

bounced back

entered the fourth grade,

things.

I

felt

that

was getting chubby,

me and

thought that no one liked

could do to improve the situation. So

logic of a self-conscious fat kid,

didn't

I

fit

felt

even

there

was

I

in the tilted

my

food became

only

friend. If I

wasn't picked to play in a basketball game,

I

bought

myself a package of Twinkies. a popular kid

If

home If I

stop

after school

snubbed me on the playground,

and made myself a sundae. size,

my next

was McDonald's.

always tasted good.

It

back or make fun of there for love

me

the

way

more out of

the

way

other kids did.

didn't talk about

me

or criticize me.

me It

behind

me from

place

I

needed

it.

Of

It

just couldn't

my

gave

course, fat-

realizing that the larger

I felt. I

It

was always

a true-blue friend should be.

and comfort whenever

kid logic prevented the

my

overheard kids making jokes about

Food never disappointed me

me

went

I

make

I

got

that con-

nection.

Even though

I

was

sensitive

still

take a joke

ther

was always quick with

if it

make one about my

about

my

weight,

wasn't mean-spirited. In fact,

weight.

a joke,

He

I

could

my

fa-

and occasionally he'd

certainly didn't

mean

to be

OPEN YOUR EYES

hurtful, but everyone

9

and everything was

fair

game

brand of humor, and our whole family accepted

summer when I was trip to the

Grand Canyon.

course

we took

home,

my mom

we

all

middle school,

in

sat

We

A

we

after

The day

in

my mind—me

The donkey doesn't look happy and

seems to be making a

a

few days

got

around the kitchen table before dinner going

a donkey.

down

family went on a

brought home the developed photos, and

through them. One shot sticks out

on

One

that.

had a great time, and of

all

a lot of pictures.

my

for his

sitting

actually

face.

was taken we were on

that photo

into the canyon.

a trail ride

My dad had asked the guide to find

donkey strong enough to accommodate me, and he jok-

ingly asked

there'd be an extra charge

if

if I

broke the don-

key's back. Everybody got a good laugh out of that, even

me.

I

knew he

jokes.

loved

At the time

me and I

it

was

my

size

that

equated

power.

I

mean, did anyone ever

Thing?

I

don't think so.

I

one of

his little

with strength and

call the

But the photo didn't show the Jared self to be.

just

I

Hulk

fat?

Or

had imagined my-

definitely didn't look like a superhero

charging steed.

I

looked

the

like a pathetic fat kid

on

on a

a really

my father's comment more than my father could ever

ticked-off donkey, and in hindsight to the guide that

day hurt

have imagined. After seeing that photo, whenever kids at school

made

me the butt of their jokes, I cringed and withdrew. It sent me back into my shell. And whenever I retreated from the world, you

know who

I

turned

to.

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

10

By

grade,

fifth

was sneaking food so

I

wouldn't

know

when my

parents

was

I

let

overeating.

me

parents

remember one time

I

home

stay

my

that

alone. They'd told

me

the week before that they'd be going out for the evening

and that friends,

my

brother and sister would be staying over with

which meant

I

had time to plan.

I

couldn't wait for

that night to come. I

to

watched from the front window and waved good-bye

them

them

as their car

good time and not

to have a

inside

I

backed out of the driveway.

to worry, I'd be fine. But

was so giddy and excited

I

could have exploded.

My plan was to call out for a pizza and have Hut Meat

large Pizza

delivered.

It

would be

an old friend coming over for a

salivating

on the windowsill,

I

were

they'd forgotten something.

"It'll

mine.

I

had been

It

would be

must have been

delirious.

make

sure

my

parents

gone and wouldn't be coming back because

really

ordered

all

visit. I

was so

waited ten whole minutes to

I

A

Lover's pizza with sausage, pepper-

thinking about this pizza. like

it

hamburger, and extra cheese. For days

oni,

I'd told

my dream

Then

I

ran to the phone and

pizza.

be there in twenty-five minutes," the

man on

the

other end said.

"Great,"

And

it

was

by the front ing this

said.

great.

I

remember

window, waiting

was

my

sitting in the living

room

for the delivery truck, think-

was the happiest day of

large pizza I

I

my

life.

Me

alone with a

version of paradise.

pulled the crumpled-up dollar

bills I'd

saved out of

my

OPEI YOUH EYES

watch

TV or play Nintendo while my

hear the doorbell and missed

what

my thigh.

smoothed them out on

jeans and

So

I'd do.

sat in the

I

11

I

What

waited.

pizza?

I

didn't dare

I

if I

go

didn't

couldn't imagine

armchair facing the window and

waited.

When headlights swept the front of the house, I leaped out of my seat. I went to the window. The pizza truck was pulling into the driveway.

A

and

college kid got out

started walking to the front door with a thermal pizza

case in his hands. I

ran to the door and opened

it

before he had a chance

to ring the bell.

"Fogle?" the college kid asked. "Large Meat Lover's

with extra cheese?" I

think

I

managed

intoxicated by the sentence.

I

how much didn't

to say yes, but

aroma of

handed him the money it

I

might have been too

would be and added

—

a generous tip.

dered pizza, complaining about the lousy

was

completely, and

I

The

here.

No,

I

college kid

my

handed me the

I

certainly

parents or-

he'd gotten

tip

had thought

intended to cover

full

I'd already figured out

want him coming back the next time

the last time he

form a

the hot pizza to

this

through

my tracks.

all

"Have

pizza.

a

good

night," he said before he trotted back to his truck. "I will," I

I

closed the door and headed to the kitchen with

prize, setting lid.

called after him.

it

down

carefully

Steam wafted to the

smell

was

come

true.

incredible.

I

Alone with

ceiling

on the

table.

and fogged

couldn't believe

it.

I

my

opened the

my glasses. The

This was a dream

a pizza all to myself.

JARED. THE SUBWAY GUY

12

I

picked out the

pizza that kept the cheese from sticking

box and tossed raised

my

to

it

on the counter.

it

mouth, and

toppings and so hot

was

didn't care. This I

my

bit into

warm

as

ate

I

and the

was

stuffed.

pared to

my

But

feel sick.

my

And now

my

fear that

original plan,

The

I

thing

first

tight as

I

buried

I

what

and was beginning to

I'd just done. I

had to

I

had to cover

my

com-

to flatten

it

it

stick to

tracks.

did was fold the empty pizza

could and step on it

fast

had de-

awful.

felt

I

I

parents would suddenly walk in

told myself. I

I

ate so fast the last piece

I

physical discomfort was nothing

the door and find out

my

mouth. But

and the sixth and the

fifth

had eaten too

I

my

few short minutes

In a

it.

molished the entire pizza. I

first slice,

was heavy with

It

it.

my

and went on to the second. Then

seventh and finally the eighth. still

separated

pizza.

finished the first slice

the third and the fourth

was

I

to the lid of the

burned the roof of

it

middle of the

plastic table in the

little

box

as

even further; then

it

with stuff that was

air freshener

under the sink and

in the trash can, covering

already in there.

Next,

I

found a can of

room

sprayed the

until

it

smelled like a flower shop instead

of a pizza parlor. Finally

went to the

I

frozen dinners ing.

I

I

refrigerator

had told

my parents I was

quickly microwaved

it,

for dinner. over.

I

When

that

it

going to be eat-

then scraped the food into the

garbage disposal to get rid of

on the counter so

and took out one of the

it. I

left

would look

the dirty plastic tray as

if I

had eaten that

looked around the room and gave I

was

satisfied that there

it

the once-

was no evidence of

a

OPEN YOUR EYES

pizza ever having been there, in front of the I

my

had covered I

would

TV and

(How many

ents returned a

stomach

settle,

to veg out

confident that

little

however, that

I

was no criminal

My

ten-year-old boys are?)

and within

after ten o'clock,

par-

min-

five

was busted.

I

"Jared?"

could I

my

went downstairs

tracks completely.

later find out,

mastermind.

utes

let

I

13

tell

my

mother called to me from the kitchen.

I

by her high-pitched tone that something was up.

my

walked into the kitchen. Both

parents were there

waiting for me. They looked grim.

my

"What's this?"

plastic pizza table in her

little

crush

She was holding the

said.

palm,

about to

like a giant

it.

Oops. it.

mother

I'd tossed

it

on the counter and forgotten about

How stupid! my

"Catching up on your reading?" ing to the yellow pages

phone.

It

Oops in the

was open again.

chrome

father said, point-

on the counter under the wall

to the "Pizza" listings.

My

face felt hot.

toaster.

looked

I

My face was

at

my

as red as pizza sauce.

My mom stepped on the garbage pail pedal, popped open. She picked around found the folded pizza box. deeply as I'd thought. I

felt

own up

to

it,

guess

Oops number

which wasn't easy

had to admit to

my

was grounded

It

and the

in the trash a bit

hadn't buried

I

lid

and it

as

three.

soooo stupid. And embarrassed.

wasn't just a pizza.

I

I

reflection

for

was something

Now

me. For I

had to

I

me

a pizza

coveted, so

now

I

guilty pleasure.

for

two weeks.

My

father told

me

I

had

JAR

14

to

come

E

home

straight

D

night, the

that

I

of

first

My

many

day and a

after school every

over scheduled for the next ing to be canceled.

SUBWAY GUY

THE

.

weekend

my

at

parents lectured

sleep-

house was go-

me

big-time that

They had concrete proof

lectures.

was sneaking food, and they got on me about

be-

it

cause they were concerned about me. But the more they lectured me, the

more ashamed and

stead of learning

hide

my traces

my

better.

lesson,

resentful

I

became.

resolved to get sneakier and

I

My parents didn't realize

it,

were actually pushing me toward the only friend depend on for uncritical comfort

Whenever

felt

I

down,

In-

I

could

— food.

hop on

I'd

but they

my

bike and sneak

over to "fast-food row," which unfortunately was just a

convenient

five

my

minutes from

house.

McDonald's,

Burger King, Dunkin' Donuts, Wendy's, Taco Rogers,

KFC —we

had them

all.

It

I

was going

to be with

Another major turning point

came

in the

in

my

when

sixth grade,

school. In elementary school

I

pick up

my

meal, carry

my

I

pedaled

friends.

relationship with food

I

graduated to middle

my

I

would go through

tray to

my

seat,

down. Seats were assigned

in the cafeteria so there

would

sit

or

the

and chow

never an issue as to where

I

to

had always looked forward

to lunch in the cafeteria. Every day line,

Roy

was so comforting

see their bright lights shining in the distance as

toward them.

Bell,

was

who'd be next

to

me. But

in

middle school

all

that changed. Kids could

wherever they wanted in the cafeteria, and for social bazaar full of cliques

me

it

sit

was a

and gangs and perplexing

al-

OPEN YOUR EYES

liances.

15

There were tables for the jocks and tables for the

cool kids, tables for the brains and tables for the artsy kids.

There was even a table for the table for fat kids like

In middle school

weight.

I

But there wasn't a

misfits.

me. conspicuous because of

felt

I

would never dream of

must have been somewhere

on

getting

in the

I

with the misfits

tried sitting

weird kids

who

a scale, but

low 200s. All

wanted to do was disappear and become

to me. I

was

was

They made

—the Trekkers, the goths, the own worlds — but eventually

a small table

right there, but it

obvious that

up space

just taking

Eventually

stopped

I

and joke and horse

wasn't part of their

and

The

fat

sitting

doesn't cized or

He

If

want people to

see

know

was

for

me.

seventh grade

away with.

him

eat.

It

sent

me

deeper into It

a sad

feels guilty

He

fears being criti-

avoided as

I

I

made

truly debilitating.

is

my

shell

many

stopped playing sports.

I

got, the

more

I

I

school activities as

I

I

had. By I

could

quit playing tennis

really liked.

things worse. Without exercise

and the heavier

and encour-

was the only comfort

and taking lessons, the one sport that just

He

it's

mocked.

aged more sneak-eating.

get

that

to be alone, but he also

The emotional pain of being obese It

sat at

you've ever watched an over-

want

doesn't

circle.

with them and instead

person doesn't enjoy his meal.

isolated.

talk

at their table.

by myself.

all

I

own group

none of them would

weight person eating by himself, you sight.

really

I

lived in their

that didn't include me. They'd laugh I

I

invisible. Initially

they bonded with one another and formed their

around, and

my

I

Of

course,

got heavier,

withdrew into myself.

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

16

By

My

would pop

winded

my

sedentary

My

back always hurt.

ankles

I

my

time

this

easily,

for

was taking

no apparent reason.

my

my

I

would

get

knees would buckle.

the Curse of Obesity,

thinking. What makes

its toll.

shoulders would crack, and

and occasionally

was plagued with

in the

lifestyle

which clouded

perfect sense to everyone else

world doesn't compute for

a seriously overweight

person.

"Find a good diet and stick to

"Do some

it,"

people would

tell

me.

exercise."

"Just shut your

mouth."

Pretty logical, right?

Well, not

you have the Curse. The Curse

if

logic. It puts obstacles in

Worst of

all, it

nullifies

your way that only you can

makes you

see.

—afraid of rejection and

afraid

afraid of failure. It's

same with a person suffering from anorexia.

the

"Just eat,

why

don't you?" people say.

"Just stop drinking," people

tell

alcoholics.

"Don't take drugs anymore," they But

tell

addicts.

not that simple. There are complex factors

it's

in-

volved with these addictions, psychological issues that

must be dealt with

first,

and most reasonably

intelligent

people understand that.

Except when problem.

it

comes

Somehow most

to people

who

have a weight

people think of obesity as a

many

from

lesser addiction,

perhaps because so

You have

up alcohol or drugs completely to break

to give

suffer

it.

those addictions. But you must keep eating every day in order to

live.

OPEN YOUR EYES

Think about

it.

one sniffing glue

17

When was

the last time

in public?

Or

snorting cocaine? That

would be shocking, and you'd probably for

succumbing to

pity that person

his addiction so blatantly.

But when was the

Not

you saw some-

last

time you saw a

fat

person eating?

so shocking or unusual.

But you probably don't pity that person or try to understand his or her problem.

your tongue time

if

at their

If

anything you probably cluck

weakness

they really wanted to.

as

if

And

they could stop at any

it's

that dismissive con-

demnation that makes people with the Curse eat more. That's the Curse of Obesity.

When

me why

I

wasn't

going out for the football team. Everyone thought

I

would

I

got to high school, kids asked

be a natural playing on the

them

my

joke about

cold.

my

it,

I

I

I

don't think I'd get back up." I'd

but on the inside

greatest fears

myself.

laugh and give

standard response. "Sure," I'd say, "but

knocked down,

my

line. I'd just

was

that I'd

I

wasn't laughing.

fall

down and

get

if I

make

One

a

of

really injure

dreaded the winter months. Not because of the

was never

weight.

It

cold.

was the

I

was always sweating, because of

ice

on the ground

that

I

feared.

balance was precarious enough on dry pavement.

nightmares about slipping on the

ice

and putting

my

I

My had

back

out of commission for good.

High school was a lonely time kids, but

I

for me.

didn't really consider any of

except for JL.

We

sort of

were both outsiders

— me

I

knew

a lot of

my

friends,

them

found one another because we because of

my

weight and him

because he had emigrated from China to the United States

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

18

when he was

He

thirteen.

often didn't understand Ameri-

can culture, and the habits of American teenagers

fre-

quently baffled him.

One

We

evening

were

happened to run into him

I

in the

same English

for that

week was

George.

We

asked him

if

ended up

and the assignment

class,

to see the film

The Madness of King

sitting together,

he'd like to join

me

movies.

at the

and afterward

for a snack at the

I

Country

Buffet.

"What

went through "It

I

said.

Frankly

my mind was

sortment of foods spread out in front of me. I

we

on the

as-

the buffet line.

was okay,"

so good,

didn't

"Do you

me

as

did you think of the movie?" he asked

know where

think

it

was

It all

looked

to start.

really historically accurate?"

JL

asked. "I don't

know,"

serving spoon over

I

said.

my

"Hard

to say."

I

plate, trying to get a

was shaking

a

glob of potato

salad unstuck.

"You JL

can't always trust a

said as he

went

"That's true,"

I

to history,"

directly to the salad bar. said.

While JL made himself a Rolls of cold cuts

movie to be true

salad,

—ham, roast

couple of stuffed peppers.

A

I

loaded up

my

beef, Swiss cheese.

I

A

slaw because

needed a vegetable. Finally

figured

two

tall

that

JL had found for

glasses with

I

took a

slab of veal parmesan. Pork

chops with apple sauce. I

plate.

dripping

mound

of creamy cole

Coke and wandered over

I

filled

to the table

us.

He'd already started

eating,

and

as

I

took

my

seat, I

OPEN YOUR EYES

thought

it

was strange

19

that he hadn't taken

more food.

All

he had on his tray was a small salad, a tuna-fish sandwich,

and an iced

on

tea. It didn't

even look like he'd put dressing

his salad, certainly not a

creamy one.

"So what do you think Mr. Wade movie?" JL

"I'm not sure," movie.

But

said.

I

wasn't thinking about the

I

was thinking about food,

I

the huge

mound

what JL had on

of stuff

I

had on

a

little

my

embarrassed by

plate

compared

to

his.

But JL didn't say anything about tal that

way.

He

him

who

he was, and that's

for

will ask us about the

our English teacher.

said, referring to

accepted

me

it.

He

wasn't judgmen-

who I was and I accepted why we got along. We just

for

kind of understood one another.

I

didn't participate in

any extracurricular

activities in

school, except for the Junior Historical Society,

wasn't exactly where the popular kids hung out. to dances or football

sionally after school

games or anything I

would have

project for class, but that

soon as the 3:00 p.m. straight

bell rang,

I

go

like that.

Occa-

to help with a

group

was mandatory. Otherwise,

—the

I

figured

I

was out the door.

I'd

as

go

must have broken the 300-

pound mark, but by how much intention of finding out.

It

I

had no

idea,

and

I

had no

wasn't crucial information as

was concerned. But then came the day when we had

to order our caps to

didn't

my video games, my TV, and my friends who never disappointed me.

By senior year

I

which

back home to

refrigerator

far as

I

high

and gowns for graduation. And anything

do with clothing was a humiliating situation.

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

20

A representative and gowns had

young and

all

up shop

set

woman was seniors

from the company that rented the caps

scheduled to be there for the entire day,

had to go

out an order form and

fill

take measurements. Just what

But

want

I

I

my

my family by not going my teeth and went down to

gritted

to take care of the cap

and gown order.

form and

The form asked

got in line.

phone number, head

class,

to disappoint I

size.

I

let

her

did not want to do.

did want to graduate with

mony, so

The

in a corner of the cafeteria.

and

I

didn't

to the cere-

the cafeteria

picked up an order

I

name, address,

for

height, weight, waist size, neck size,

and

me and saw

that

looked past the kids

in front of

the rep had a tailor's tape measure hanging around her

neck. She

was mostly taking head measurements but

some waist and neck measurements from didn't have a clue about their sizes.

around and walking

were

girls

out, but then

I

that

down

bought for

As

I

for

my

for

neck

shirt in years,

height.

I

lady.

size,

I

and the

knew

The

had no

was 6'2", so

I

last

time I

I

my mom

jeans

idea.

I

did,

number

I

I

that

wrote

usually

wrote that down.

hadn't bought a dress I

thought

it

was some-

added two more inches and

"20."

moved up I

I

picking a

a 52-inch waist so

thing like an 18-inch neck.

wrote down

noticed that most of the

my weight,

realistic.

my

me had

considered turning

pulled out a pen and did the same.

wrote down 304 for

thought sounded

who

the embarrassing information before

filling in

they got to the rep, so I

I

I

the kids

also

in line

and

finally got to the

cap-and-gown

handed her the form and hoped to God she wouldn't

try using that tape

measure on me, especially on

my

waist.

OPEN YOUR EYES

21

How would she measure me? She was a small woman. How would she even get her arms around me? Would she have to call for help? How

What

if

her tape wasn't long enough?

embarrassing would that be?

My

was racing

pulse

as she

scanned the form.

I

was

praying for mercy.

She looked up from the form and must have seen the distress in

my

eyes. "All

I

need

your head measurement,

is

Jared," she said with a smile.

bent forward and

I

head, hoping that

it

would end

down

She jotted

her

let

the

wrap

the tape around

my

here.

measurement and hung the tape

around her neck.

"Okay," she I

said, "you're all set."

assumed she was experienced

and

I

was incredibly

class, feeling that for

Unfortunately

A

few days

answered

grateful for that.

once

hadn't.

later

I

I

I

had dodged a

It

was

with

fat kids,

walked back

to

bullet.

just a delayed bullet.

got a phone call at home.

My

sister

it.

"Jared,

it's

room, where I

I

in dealing

I

for you," she said, yelling

down

to the rec

was playing video games.

picked up the downstairs extension. "Hello?"

"Hi," the

man on

the other end said. "Is this Jared

Fogle?" "Yes." "Jared, I'm

from Scholar's Choice. The cap and gown

company?" "Yes?"

I

could

feel

it

coming.

"We've reviewed your form, and

if

this

information

is

JAHED, THE SUBWAY GUY

22

correct, I'm afraid we're going to have to special order a

cap and

gown

for you.

surements with

"No,"

"Oh ders, we

.

to

make

okay.

.

I

have to

have to charge a

"Fine,"

sure

go over the mea-

like to

what

I

have

is

accurate?"

said.

I

.

me

Would you

I

you, though, for special or-

tell

extra."

little

"Whatever."

said.

I

didn't care.

I

did not

want

to deal with this.

on top of the regular charge.

"It's thirty-five dollars

you want to check with your parents

"No.

It's fine.

have

it

first?"

Just send us a bill."

"Okay, we can do you'll

Do

that.

I'll

put the order in today, so

in time for graduation."

"Great."

"Thanks

for your business, Jared.

Bye now."

"Bye." I

hung up

the phone.

the sweat pouring I

My

down my

sides

my

heard his voice in

face

was on under

fire. I

my

could

feel

shirt.

head. Thanks for being a

blimp, ]ared.

"Yeah, thanks a I

lot,"

I

grumbled under

me and grabbed

and chomped down, closing of the chips block out

not any of

all

opened

my

a fistful.

my eyes

sound.

I

I

and

stuffed

my mouth

letting the

crunch

did not want to deal with

it.

"Jared? Jared? You can step I

breath.

reached over to the open bag of corn chips on the end

table next to

this,

my

down now."

eyes and blinked.

I

was standing on the

scale in the endocrinologist's office. I'd forgotten

where

I

OPEI YOUR EYES

was

for a

moment. The nurse was next

down by

kindly, the chart

on the

23

pointer.

It

was

her side.

I

me, smiling

to

immediately zoned in

floating at midpoint.

I

looked

at the

counterweights. It I

said 425.

couldn't believe

it.

425!

The nurse 425?

I

slid the

thought.

It

counterweights back to zero. can't be.

My knees were shaking. "Have just

a seat

on the

wanted to

cry.

This couldn't be.

table, Jared," the

nurse said. "I'm

I

going to take some blood samples. Then the doctor

will be in to see you."

Open Your Eyes •

As the saying goes, "Denial Egypt."

If

ain't just a river in

you want to change your

to face reality

first.

life,

you have

Take a good hard look

in the

mirror and admit that you have a problem. •

do anything about

In the beginning, don't try to

your problem. Just admit that the problem •

—food, drugs, alcohol, tobacco, spending, whatever — not your Whatever your addiction

is

friend.

it is

For a long time you have turned to tion and comfort, but

past and •

exists.

it

it

will not help

it

for consola-

has not helped you in the

you

in the future.

Your problem might seem enormous and impossible to

overcome, and that

fills

you with fear and

JARED. THE SUBWAY GUY

24

anxiety. You're afraid to risk failure. if

you

fail,

the people

Well, get over as closely as failure,

you

it.

you know

You

feel that

will reject you.

No one is watching your situation

you

are. If you're

will never succeed.

not willing to risk

LESSON

2

Do Something

Finding a solution to any major problem

new pair

of shoes.

more than

a

few

You have

to try

on

a

is

few

pairs, to find the right

fit.

buying a

like

maybe

pairs, or

No

matter what

bad habit you're trying to kick, you might have to try eral different

approaches before you find the one

right for you.

But you have to

thing. If

it

risk failure

doesn't work, you can always

thing else, the same

way you can

and

that's

some-

try

move on

sev-

to some-

ask the shoe-store clerk

for another pair of shoes to try on.

When

you're stuck in a rut and your problem

the better of you,

momentum. your

do something, anything,

In all likelihood

first try,

but

to create

some

hit a bull's-eye

on

be moving in the right

di-

you won't

at least you'll

getting

is

rection. I

tried several different diets before

worked

for

me, but before

I

I

found the one that

got to the point where

I

would

JARED. THE SUBWAY GUY

26

even consider trying a

diet,

I

had to be scared into action.

My endocrinologist took care of that. As

him

come

to

would

on the examining

sat

I

tell

in,

me.

I

I

table in his office, waiting for

was already nervous, dreading what he

jumped when I heard

the

doorknob turning.

my chart out of rack

"Hello, Jared," he said as he pulled

on the outside of the door. "Hi,"

said.

I

My mouth was

bone-dry.

The doctor was an average-looking middle-aged

guy,

but he was scaring the hell out of me, and he hadn't even said anything yet.

As he examined

face, looking for signs of

He

hard to read.

stethoscope and

chart,

I

watched

my

heart and lungs with his

the glands in

my

neck.

My nerves jan-

gled as he proceeded with his examination, and

was stuck tell

on

in

my

throat.

his

shock or disapproval, but he was

listened to

felt

my

I

was

terrified of

my

heart

what he might

me.

He

took a seat on a stool and jotted

my

chart.

and put them

Oh, God!

When

notes

he was through, he took off his glasses

in his shirt pocket. I

thought. Here

it

comes!

"Jared," he said, "you're facing risks carrying this

"Yeah."

down some

some

significant health

much weight. You know that,

don't you?"

My breathing was shallow, my heart pounding.

"You're putting yourself at risk for type 2 diabetes."

"You mean "I can't

I

have diabetes?"

I

asked in a panic.

answer that question right now. We'll have to

wait for your tests to come back. But that's not the only thing.

Morbid

Morbid

obesity puts you at risk for hypertension."

obesity.

I

knew

the phrase, but I'd never actu-

DO SOMETHING

ally

as

heard anyone use

if I

could drop dead

"And," the doctor

—

elevated

as

in reference to

it

at

me.

It

made me

feel

any moment. your cholesterol

said, "if

suspect they are

I

27

—you're

levels are

at risk for heart

disease."

"You mean,

I

could have a heart attack? But I'm only

twenty years old."

The doctor nodded heart attacks, too.

my God,

Oh,

I

It

happens."

thought.

to the funeral parlor and

make

my

coffins in

"Young people have can

gravely.

size?

Why me

fit I

don't

we

just

go

straight

for a coffin? But did they

wondered.

"Obesity has also been connected to the onset of certain types of cancer later in I

was

feeling faint.

"And then "which you

he said.

life,"

is

sleep.

there's sleep apnea," the doctor continued,

a condition in

Do you

"Yeah...

I

which you stop breathing while

snore?"

think."

The doctor nodded. "I'm not saying you have apnea, but snoring "I don't

sure."

I

is

a

symptom."

know, maybe

was desperate

I

don't snore,"

I

said.

"I'm not

to minimize the gravity of the

sit-

uation. "Jared, let

I

want you

to

go on a

diet."

He

held out a book-

to me.

My

hands must have been trembling as

feeling that this

was coming.

I

I

took

it. I

had a

stared at the booklet as

if it

were a foreign object, something that had dropped out of the sky from outer space.

I

knew more than

a

little

about

JABEO, THE SUBWAY GUY

28

my

these kinds of diets because lets at his office

"I

looked through them

I'd

know you're away

you to follow

vise

health if

and

is

at risk,

father kept similar book-

at college, Jared,

but

You're a young

this diet.

in the past. I

strongly ad-

man and your

but the situation can be reversed. But only

you're willing to do what

takes."

it

"I'll try," I said.

But inside

had no intention of

I

trying.

I

just

wanted

to

get the hell out of there. "I

know you can do

ing smile.

come

"My

in to let

up. In the

nurse will give you a call

you know

when your

we need an immediate

if

luck."

dressed now."

He shook my

He whisked

tests

follow-

meantime ..." He pointed to the booklet

"Good

hand.

the doctor said with a reassur-

it,"

in

my

hand. "You can get

out the door to take care of his

next patient.

My head was spinning as ing room.

I

was up

to

my

I

trudged back out to the wait-

eyeballs in

tion

and warnings, but the only thing

that

number: 425!

little

over

How

300 pounds

by comparison.

did

I

all

kinds of informa-

could focus on was

I

get to this point? Being a

in high school

seemed manageable

(Fat logic again.) It wasn't that far

from the

200s, and the low 200s would almost be a healthy weight for

my

height, so

ing normal,

I

had

I

was

still

felt.

But being over 400 put gory.

me

into a

whole

That was sideshow-freak weight,

was beyond times normal. it

within striking distance of be-

I

different cate-

thought. Over

striking distance to normal.

400

That was two

No matter how I wrestled with the numbers,

always came out bad. Mortally bad.

DO SOMETHING

The numbers game rious problems play.

is

29

something that

You work

as

bad

as

it

really

drinks or joints or

Whether

is.

money

ways twist the numbers

lost in

people with

numbers

the

make

trying to find a formula that doesn't

seem

all

in

your head,

the situation

pounds or alcoholic

it's

poker games, you can

seem

until they

se-

less drastic

al-

than

they really are.

"There are only itas.

my

ordered two pitchers, but

I

couple, and figure

six drinks in a pitcher of

it

out,

I

at the

five

And an ounce

It's

lasts

me

had if

a

you

much."

night,

at

good

friend

hours. So

really didn't drink that

enough to get buzzed. ment.

bar for

smoke marijuana

only

"I

was

I

margar-

for stress

forever.

and

just

manage-

So I'm really

not getting that high."

"Yeah, night, but All

I

I

lost a lot of

if I

money

playing poker to-

keep playing, the odds will be with me.

have to do

is

win 60 percent of the time

next two nights and

for the

break even. And, hey, what's

I'll

60 percent? That's nothing."

See

what

I

mean?

My father tried to

make

from the endocrinologist's nicative.

I

was

office,

but

I

we drove home

wasn't very

commu-

driving.

"Do you have any told

conversation as

questions about anything the doctor

you?" he asked me.

SUBWAY GUY

JAflEO. 1HE

30

"Nope," I

had

said.

that

all

"He explained

it

pretty well."

bad news crammed into

my head,

425 pounds,

better than they were. Except at

having a hard time making a purse out of

There was no getting around But knowing that

up

and

I

was

working the numbers, furiously trying to make

frantically

them

I

I

this

I

was

sow's ear.

had a serious problem.

it. I

had a problem didn't smarten me

any. I

home and dropped

drove

off

my

father.

"Aren't you coming in?" he asked.

"No,

some

thought

I

I'd

go down to the

library

and look up

stuff."

"Okay."

My

dad could

probably figured

I

see

was going

how glum

to look

I

was, and he

up information about

the risks of obesity and check out various diet books. Well, that

was the impression

I

wanted him to have because

had no intention of going to the

someone

I

make me

feel better.

library.

I

needed to find

could commiserate with, someone

That's right.

I

needed to see

my

I

who would

old friend Denny.

drove to the local Denny's restaurant,

I

squeezed myself into a booth, and ordered the "Lumberjack

Slam"

—three

toast,

and a stack of pancakes.

chocolate milk shake. After

calcium from the milk and every last bite, and as in

ham, hash browns,

eggs, bacon, sausage,

maple syrup,

I

I

I

washed

all, I

ice

told myself,

cream.

mopped

all

it

I

ate the

down with I

a

needed the

whole thing,

the last morsel of pancake

thought to myself,

I'll

start dieting to-

morrow. In the

that

what

back of I

really

my mind

I

kept thinking

—no, hoping—

had was a glandular problem and that the

00 SOMETHING

results of

my

blood

would show

tests

ogist

would then prescribe a

duce

me back

me

normal

dream on,

Well,

The

to

31

size in

would magically

that

pill

no

my

blood

wrong with my

Jared.

few days

tests

which meant there wasn't

glands, she said,

me it

fudged and said

I

not to wait and said that

and

restrict

my calorie

numb,

felt

this,

but

I

lost,

empty.

felt like

the

ferred to another state to leave

had

I it

was

all

my

middle school, high

into a 400-pounder.

I

I

knew

little

and

I

kid

it's

I

my

that

hung up

the phone,

whose

moving day and I'm about

cream, pizza

fries, chips, ice

who had school, and my

15. In

Most

kids go

my case

freshman year

up

it

at

me

stood by first

two

away

could do I

my

was

.

through

turned

to college

me

and gain

was the Freshman 100. college.

Indiana University,

parents nagging

my homework

.

.

years of col-

who had

wanted now, take courses that

without

late

to me.

I

I

father gets trans-

I

or not do

me

I

When

was

with a giddy sense of freedom and independence.

do whatever

follow

I

had to get serious about

had looked forward to going away to

started

She urged

to.

intake to 1,800 a day.

But these were also the friends

Freshman

about

was important

These were the friends

lege.

had started

if I

old friends behind, the only friends I've ever

— burgers, French

the

just

thanked her for her help, but as

I

later to tell

had come back. There was nothing

going to be a magic-pill solution. She asked the diet yet.

re-

time.

endocrinologist's nurse called a

that

The endocrinol-

that.

I

I

flush

could

chose, stay

to get to bed.

my homework;

it

I

was up

totally responsible for myself.

But there was one freedom that wasn't so good for me,

JARED.IHE SUBWAY GUY

32

the freedom to pig out.

meant

that after

cafeteria,

as

I

I

my

showed

meal card and entered the

could stay as long as

wanted, which

I

had an open meal plan, which

I

Remember, cafeteria fare.

is

what

exactly

loved food and

I

Most people

wanted and

I

I

I

eat as

much

did.

had a

real soft spot for

turn up their noses at steam-table

food, but not me.

ham

Goulash, stuffed cabbage, slices, fried

chicken, corn chowder, meatloaf, turkey with

mashed potatoes and gravy

—

was

it

French toast, omelets, sausage Danish, Froot Loops, Lucky get

up

in the

all

good

to me.

patties, donuts, cheese

Charms

—

I

couldn't wait to

morning.

I'm ashamed to say that

dorm-mates that lege

steaks with pineapple

my

I

some of

actually told

goal for the year was to

make

my

the col-

food service lose money on me.

But

I

didn't confine myself to the cafeteria.

snack bar near

my dorm

late into the night.

con, onion rings,

sandwiches.

And

that served food

all

We

had a

day long and

Burgers, hot dogs, grilled cheese and ba-

fries,

frozen custard, cupcakes, ice cream

Now this was

freedom,

I

thought.

then there was the take-out stuff that

I

could have

delivered to the dorm, like subs and pizza and Chinese

food.

I

got into the habit of ordering a large pizza and a

bucket of soda every night as a midnight snack. Later,

when

I

figured

it

out,

about 10,000 calories a day.

I

I

realized

was eating

was consuming

for five people

.

.

.

every day of the week.

When I was

eating,

I

factory, but the rest of

felt like

my

a kid locked in the candy

college experience wasn't so

—

I

DO SOMETHING

one thing

rosy. For

prisoner inside I

my

my own

33

me

expanding girth had made

a

body.

couldn't go to restaurants unless they had seating that

could accommodate me. I

couldn't get into the backseat of a car.

Forget about airplane seats.

Movie

theaters

Dating? I

and amusements parks

wouldn't even consider

I

it.

became even more sedentary than

school.

I

was eating a

wonder

I

was

knew what didn't

I

want

to

know.

and not worry about

had been

is

high

in

a lot less

—no —

a funny thing

to myself, but at the same time

just

I

I

more and doing

lot

getting fatter. But denial

was doing

—no way.

it.

I

wanted to go on the way

was

getting by,

I

I

I

was

told myself.

Things weren't that bad. But things were that bad, and there were reminders

around me. I

I

didn't pick

of

my

just refused to recognize

my classes

interests.

make my

I

based on

were being held. Lecture seats

them. For one thing,

my intended major or any

would examine

the course catalog and

on the rooms where the

selections based

halls

all

were no good for

classes

me

—the

were too small. Any classroom that had those kinds

of student desks that have the desktop attached to the seat

were out, too.

rooms

that

Then

looked for classes held in the seminar

had long, open

there

University

I

is

tables.

was the matter of getting

a big school

on

a large

to class. Indiana

campus. Class build-

ings are scattered pretty far apart, so they have a bus service for shuttling students

was

just a five-minute

around the campus.

walk from most of

my

My

classes

dorm Rve

"

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

34

minutes

you're not carrying 400-plus pounds. As

if

tinued to overeat,

walk even short I

distances.

was out of breath

in

puffing. Eventually

bus to

my

classes.

I

My knees

ached.

no time and had

my

bent over with

rests,

I

became harder and harder

it

hands on

My

for

I

con-

me

to

back hurt.

to stop for frequent

my

and

thighs, huffing

got myself a bus pass and took the

But because of the circuitous bus route,

had to take a forty-five-minute

my

where

get to the buildings

trip

around the campus to

classes were.

credible waste of time, but being in denial,

It

was an

didn't

I

let

in-

that

bother me. I

didn't even

let it

bother

me when

I

heard guys making

cruel jokes about me. College guys living together are often

crude. That's just the

way

They usually don't mean

it is.

to

be hurtful, but they just can't help themselves. But as an

overweight person, fat

I

had developed

joke about to happen. For me,

as a

storm

is

rowdy guys,

A

I

brewing. Whenever

could always

feel

it

it's I

just

knack like

for sensing a

reading the sky

was with a group of

coming.

bunch of guys would be out

dorm,

a

in the

hallway

at the

hanging out and horsing around. Then one of

them would spot me.

I

eye and his refusal to

make

could see from the keen look in his eye contact with

me

that a fat

joke was coming.

My

method

for dealing with this kind of situation

was

to head the joke off at the pass.

The joker would launch

when he went

to

"They threw

buy

into his setup. "Jared's so fat,

a water

bed

—

a sheet over the ocean," I'd finish for him.

Everyone would laugh,

me

included, but

I

wasn't really

DO SOMETHING

laughing.

was

It

had other

one thing

Way

I

my way

but not as

like these hurt, I

just

of deflecting the blow. Jokes

much when

took off

too embarrassing.

my

at least

my

some of

line.

big body. For

shirt in front of people.

also bought clothes that

I

too big to camouflage

could cover up

punch

said the

I

with

strategies for dealing

never, ever

least a size

35

my

were

at

bulk. Loose clothes

the harsh reality.

Buying clothes had always been a big source of embarrassment for me. By the time

I

was

graduated from regular to "husky"

phemism is

all fat

like saying

sizes.

had

I

Now there's a eu-

boys come to hate. Using the term "husky"

an overweight

wasn't a husky for long.

my mom

clothes with

in fifth grade,

and finding out that

I

I

woman

is

"full-figured." But

remember shopping

just before

I

for school

started seventh grade

I

had outgrown the husky

We

sizes.

had to walk to the other end of the mall, where the big and men's store was located. All the shirts

tall

day were adult

2XL— double

extra large

we bought

—and

I

that

was

just

eleven years old.

Of one seys

course, shopping in the big and

benefit. It

tall

shop did have

had been almost impossible to

and jackets

in

husky

sizes,

my

jer-

but there were usually

plenty to choose from at the big and

anapolis Colts were

team

find

tall

favorite team,

shop.

and

I

The

Indi-

snapped up

anything that displayed the Colts' horseshoe logo.

But becoming a vorite

human

team was not

At Indiana

me

my

I

that

—

a career option

was majoring

I

occurred to weight.

billboard

my

I

literally

—

for

my

fa-

was contemplating.

in international business,

but

it

career goals might be derailed by

mean, here

I

was

plotting and planning

my

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

36

around the

daily routine

could get there.

I

up with

putting

size of the

my

unusual needs. Would an

who

an international business major I

wasn't just

dawning on me

When you

fat

that

I

What

your

life.

was obese.

have a few things

all

on-line sports betting, say

like a

It

is

in

—can

Harmless gambling

—an

ing lots of money, borrowing telling yourself that all

just starts to

for points

feel that

money,

los-

to keep playing,

"break even,"

is

by the problem.

It

can pin you

and you

a problem,

you're in a bad situation, but at the same time you

feel that there's

nothing you can do about

more and more weight, cause

controls

it

can't stop.

You know you have

into a corner.

know

more money

hooked and you

grow and

becomes gambling

you want to do

to feel trapped

interest in

quickly turn into some-

tumor, and eventually you

You begin

finally

being held hostage by the

The problem

in fact you're

was

common.

for dollars, seeking out bookies, betting lots of

when

was

couldn't go interna-

started out as a small issue

thing far greater.

grow,

I

I

people with serious problems, no

it,

person affected

First, the

problem.

anymore;

air travel.

And

actually had a disability.

think about

matter what they are,

office recon-

could have two or three?

I

could never apply for jobs that involved

tional.

I

couldn't imagine any potential employer

figure their cubicles so that I

how

classrooms and

I

knew

it

the weight off.

no way

I

I

felt

it.

As

I

gained

more and more trapped

would take more and more work felt as if

I

were

at the

bottom of

be-

to take

a pit with

out.

When you

feel

trapped by a problem, you also tend to

DO SOMETHING

you're in a world that only you inhabit.

feel isolated, as if

You

no one

start to feel that

has ever had a problem

shielded

it

was growing up,

I

by year,

steadily gaining weight year

one way

else

only one. As

like yours, you're the

isolation. In

37

I

created a world of

me from

hurt, but in truth

feeling alone hurt even more.

who

problems are embarrassing for the person

Finally,

has them, and people naturally try to hide their problems.

We've

who

heard stories about the "functional alcoholic"

all

down

holds

like a fish

dicts are

a job, maintains a family

life,

behind closed doors. Likewise, not

nodding off on the

street.

and drinks drug ad-

all

Some manage

to

walk a

precarious tightrope, maintaining a seemingly normal

life

while addicted to marijuana, cocaine, speed, heroin, whatever.

how

People with spending addictions learn

cept credit card

was

I

for the

world to

a

before anyone else sees them. Even

bills

who

huge person

though

see,

never took

wore

shirt off unless

was

I

went

to the beach.

bulk.

As ridiculous

as

mask

the fact that

weighed 425 pounds.

When

it

sounds,

my

to buckle

I

it

I

I

I

down and

I

would buy.

As

sunk

get serious.

I

never

in,

I

started

asked

my

be-

I

read the

had given me cover to it.

The

diet called for

maximum, which was about 16

I

I

could to

usually ate. But that didn't bother me.

tually motivated me.

foods

alone.

did anything

again, really studied

1,800 calories a day cent of what

I

situation finally

diet booklet the endocrinologist

cover, read

problem

used oversized clothes to cover up

I

the reality of

came determined

his

also played the hiding game.

I

my

literally

said,

I

to inter-

making

my mom

to

lists

per-

It

ac-

of the good

show me how

to

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

38

cook them. at IU,

and

had moved off campus

I

I

izing myself

imagined the kitchen

my

at

planned to

ton,

where IU

else

watching

start the diet

is

located.

I

once

I

no

The only person

dorm.

got back to Blooming-

my family or anyone my progress. Even the

critics, I

I

no spying

would share

cringe. Losing it

by myself.

eyes.

my

with was JL,

this

my roommate

old

in the

shared the apartment off campus, so

would have been hard was okay with

me

had to do

from high school who had been

We now

at

want

didn't

me and monitoring

cheerleaders,

it

was psyched.

I

weight was a personal thing, and

friend

second year

apartment, visual-

thought of joining a support group made

No

my

cooking healthy food there, then eating

the kitchen table. I

after

that.

to hide

JL was

my new

cool.

I

diet

it

from him. But

trusted him.

I

When we'd

both gotten into Indiana, we'd decided to room together

who might

rather than risk living with strangers

not be as

understanding of our situations.

JL was premed. least

a serious student majoring in biochemistry

He was

also a physical fitness fanatic

an hour a day working out

his never

came between us

at the

until

we

"Jared," he said one morning as butter

on

a slice of toast,

gym with me

the I

this

just stared at

"why

I

him.

He was

said,

gym. This passion of

started living together. I

was

slathering peanut

don't you

come down

suited first

up

in his sweats

to

it,"

and

time he'd invited me.

then took a big bite out of

"But, Jared, you might like

help you."

spent at

morning?"

running shoes. This wasn't the

"No thanks,"

who

and

he said.

"And

my toast. it

would

00 SOMETHING

I

gave him a dirty look.

near a gym.

I

didn't

39

want

to

didn't even like talking about

I

out with someone as

fit

it.

go anywhere

And

"We've had

"You should

don't like gyms."

I

lose

in his typi-

some weight."

conversation before, JL.

this

work

JL would have been humiliating.

as

"Hey, I'm worried about you, man," JL said cally blunt way.

to

continued to eat

my

told you,

I

I

breakfast, hoping

he'd just go away.

"Why?"

he said.

"Because

The

was

that

Now don't ask me

again."

didn't like being seen,

about

all

who was

each other out to see

went

I

what gyms were

that's

don't you like gyms?"

don't, okay?

I

truth

"Why

to a place like that,

I

and to

me

— skinny people checking

skinny and

who

wasn't.

knew everyone would be

If I

star-

ing at me.

But JL was persistent. until

I

gave

listen to

you a million times: "But,

if

shouldn't

I

me,"

I

"

me

he started.

shouted over him. "I've told

don't like gyms."

you keep bugging me about

live

tense,

it,

maybe we

together anymore."

awkward

have to do that," he

anybody

intended to pester

Jared—"

"And

A

knew he

— "Listen to me, Jared

in.

"No, you

I

silence filled the

room. "You don't

finally said. "I don't

want

to live with

else."

"Okay

then."

"Jared, I'm just concerned about you. That's all." "I ...

I

appreciate that you're concerned, but ..."

was so angry friend,

and

I

I

could barely talk. But

didn't

want

I

I

valued him as a

to lose him. Even though I'd

JARED. THE SUBWAY GUY

40

thought about living by myself about

really serious

my new

ing about that

I

why

today. That's

still is

JL was

it.

diet.

I

I

at

my

dropping off

best friend then, and he

knew

he'd approve, and he it.

He'd respect

my

bags

at the

down

to the grocery store.

my

hand,

I

I

knew

that.

apartment was get back

car and drive

headed

was never

thing I'd done after returning to school and

first

booklet in

I

wasn't worried about JL know-

wouldn't want to talk about

The

one point,

inside.

I

was

a

man on

filled

I

the diet

found a cart near the entrance and a mission.

attacked the produce section

I'd rarely visited.

With

in the

first,

a part of the store

a plastic bag with ears of corn.

I

got lettuce and cucumbers for salad and a bag of peeled

baby I

carrots.

moved on

words

"fat free."

two

out

to the aisles, scouring the shelves for the I

different kinds.

bottle of mustard. I

found

No

fat-free salad dressing I

and picked

tossed in a big plastic squeeze

more

fatty

mayonnaise for me.

went to the meat cases and loaded up on

poultry.

Good-bye greasy burgers and the sausage and pepperoni used to order on

my

pizzas.

now on. down the

It

was going

to be turkey

I

and

chicken from I

me

sailed

— but

I

looked past

snack

my

aisle

—dangerous

terrain for

beloved Doritos and Ruffles and

scooped up some bags of low-fat pretzels and moved on. I

kept going, like an explorer discovering uncharted

ritories.

tainers

I

checked out the

stats

on the

fat-free

and compared them to the guidelines

They were okay so pack of chocolate

I

ter-

pudding con-

in the booklet.

put a six-pack of vanilla and a six-

in the cart.

DO SOMETHING

I

41

tossed whole-grain breakfast cereals into

my

basket.

Bacon and eggs and pancakes dripping with butter and

now

syrup were

a thing of the past,

said to myself.

I

was

I

determined not to miss them. I

stocked up on packages of frozen vegetables

beans, broccoli, peas, corn

— so

worry about things going bad I

found room

in

my

that

—green

wouldn't have to

I

in the refrigerator.

cart for a gallon of orange juice, a

gallon of apple juice, a gallon of skim milk, and a loaf of bread.

The

was

cart

food would keep

me

the checkout line.

I

my

pretty

start,

When

I

I

and

for at least a

was already

food onto the conveyor

good

full,

week, so

moved on

I

feeling better as

belt.

much

figured that

I

unloaded

I

My new diet was

off to a

thought.

got home,

my

next project was finding places to

put the food in our tiny apartment. Neither JL nor very domestic. ally

kept

He was

much food

junk food

a

discovered a whole

cabinets.

(My jumbo

that long

—

I

and

filled

shelf while

I

acquired food. veggies

I

I

was

was mainly

now

I

—

if

that I'd

I

had to

was amazed

to

for kitchen

they stayed around

table or

on top of the

re-

took over one entire cabinet for mygills.

up the

all

of JL's stuff on one

rest of the shelves

stocked the freezer with

was going

But

was an important use

to the fridge, putting

filled

it

of healthy eating,

bags of chips

to the

it

moved on

I

my case

provisions.

on the kitchen

now

So

my

I

but neither of us usu-

stuff like that.

new world

discover that there really

lived

better,

in the house. In

and store

get organized

self

little

—chips and nuts,

frigerator.)

to

to eat.

By the time

I

with

all

my

newly

the great

was through,

I

new was

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

42

exhausted.

up an

And

had to cook the food!

I still

appetite just getting ready to eat healthy.

decided to take a break.

I

was building

I

down

sat

I

my

in

favorite

chair and played video games for a while, usually a dan-

gerous situation for

me

with regard to food. Playing Nin-

tendo and snacking went together

bacon and eggs, burgers and

butter,

mined and

I

fought off the impulse.

make myself more

I

good dinner

over, but

figured that I

I

was

.

resolute.

was probably

a

I

the pots and pans.

never cooked,

I

scratch. I

was

nately,

them

realized, they

down on my

opened the

first

tossed

it

leftovers,

something to

first

to start cooking it

would take

since

where they'd

be.

JL and I

I

looked hop-

in the oven,

didn't

I

I

want

was forced

already aching knees. cabinet and found nothing but garbage

I'd

foil. I

took out the

probably need that

foil

and

later for

thought.

In the next cabinet in the

to

problem was finding

were probably where

up on the counter. I

diet.

could easily reach them. Unfortu-

I

bags and a box of aluminum

way

No

to be, in the cabinets under the counter.

to get I

I

not before.

held out until five thirty.

through the cabinets over the counter and ing they'd be where

deter-

and

knew we had them, but clueless as to

was

to wait

little

good time

My

I

was part of the

had only a vague idea of how long

cook a meal from

But

was going

for a

and

well, bread

.

at dinnertime,

stomach rumbled, begging

me

since

a

.

fries.

I

eating in between meals. That

My tide

like

back

as

if

I

found the pots and pans huddling

they were trying to hide from me.

This was annoying. For a normal-sized person, reaching

DO SOMETHING

43

back there would be nothing, but for

me

arm

getting the

broom

as

reached inside.

to scoop the pots

front of the cabinet, but that getting back

I

down on

I

considered

I

and pans toward the

would involve

getting

was

the floor again, and that

daunting to even think about. After several to bat a couple of pots

exercise

and strength as

in precision balancing, pain endurance,

held myself up on one

was an

it

tries,

up and just

too

managed

I

and a broiling pan toward the front

of the cabinet like a hungry bear knocking

down

a beehive

for the honey.

my

Getting back on

feet

was excruciating.

had to

I

pull

over a chair to haul myself up and lean on the counter to

support myself until

would hold me.

My

my sore knees and my shirt was

was reasonably sure

I

was flushed

face

drenched with sweat, and

I

knew

that turning

would make me even more uncomfortable. and looking forward to

tivated I

set

work.

down

I'd

the diet booklet

my

first

on the oven

Still, I

was mo-

healthy meal.

on the counter and got to

decided to cook a chicken dinner

—a

broiled

skinless chicken breast, a portion of green beans, a slice of

plain white bread,

and a small container of

ding for dessert.

rinsed off the chicken breast and sea-

soned

it,

then put

I

under the broiler

it

fat-free

in the oven.

The

pud-

diet

plan called for green beans to go with the chicken, so

took out a package of frozen green beans. solid in a block, so little

I

threw the whole thing

water and turned on a flame under

tomorrow

as leftovers,

I

it.

It

in a

I

was frozen pot with a

I'd eat the rest

told myself.

Fifteen minutes later the chicken

was cooked, and the

JA

44

RED. THE

greens beans were hot.

took

it

to the table.

my

fruits of

Not

labor.

bad,

I

I

SUBWAY GUY

arranged

was dead

I

my

meal on a

plate

and

tired but eager to taste the

cut into the chicken and took a bite.

I

thought.

I

was kind of shocked but

also

pleased. This just might work. I

dug

allotted.

and cleaned

in

When I was

my

plate, eating everything

finished,

I

was overjoyed.

prepared a healthy dinner and eaten

it.

I

was

I'd actually

felt as if I'd dis-

I

covered America!

There was only one problem.

My

It

wasn't very

much

food.

usual dinners consisted of a double half-pound

burger with extra cheese and bacon, an extra-large order of

fries,

and a bucket of regular, not

my

utes after finishing

looked over

at the

diet,

healthy dinner,

eat only a third of

it

bread on the counter. it,

in I

sigh.

one meal.

I

my

I'd

I

made

was supposed

allotted single slice.

down I

to

I

half

heaved a

This wasn't going to be easy. Fortunately

couch before nine o'clock and that kept

my

starving.

glanced at the loaf of

so tired from shopping and cooking,

on

I

could have easily scarfed

but I'd already had

heavy

was

pot of green beans on the stove.

the entire package, but the booklet said

of

I

soda. Five min-

I

was

passed out on the

me from

cheating

diet.

The next morning tempting breakfast.

It

I

consulted the booklet before

recommended

at-

a small glass of or-

ange juice and a bowl of whole-wheat flakes with skim milk. Black coffee or plain tea optional. Okay, that

was

easy enough. Well, easy but not enough.

My

stomach moaned and groaned the whole morning.

For lunch

I

had a big salad with

diet dressing at the

campus

— DO SOMETHING

cafeteria,

washing

it

down with

45

a big glass of water.

was

I

eating like a big bunny.

Dinner rolled around, and once again

I

had to do the

cooking. Another chicken breast, an ear of corn (no buta slice of bread,

ter),

meal took a that

me

longer to cook because of the corn, and

made me grouchy. Actually grouchy.

calories.

to

little

and another cup of pudding. This

was

I

my cravings. I was Fortunately

and

dinner,

vented

—

I

My

starving.

But as miserable as

the

body

was,

I

whole

I

diet

was making

cried out for

more

wasn't going to give in

determined to succeed.

guess

—

was once again exhausted

I

after

soon conked out on the couch, which pre-

I

me from

eating any more. But

I

didn't sleep well.

My rumbling stomach kept waking me up. The next morning

faced the same tiny breakfast as the day before

I

and

cereal

juice

—and now

I

was grouchier than

ever.

By the

end of the day the prospect of another chicken breast with a portion of the leftover green beans from the

turned I

diet

me

stuck

into an ogre. it

out for

work. But

I

I

was Shrek before he got

two more

was so

days, desperate to

my homework

much

I

night

nice.

make

this

by the end of the day,

tired

couldn't get

want

first

done.

And my stomach made

I

so

might think

I'd

swallowed a midget whole, and he was yelling for help

in-

side I

noise

my

didn't

go

out. People

gut.

remember

of the

to

fifth

sitting at the kitchen table

day, staring at a

couldn't do

JL was

it

just

anymore. This

coming out of

bowl of the same bland

little

cereal I'd been eating all week.

on the morning

I

just couldn't face

diet wasn't for his

room

to

me.

go to

class.

it.

I

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

46

"Hey, JL," just take

The

it.

"Oh," JL

this

sensitive

you want anything

in the fridge,

stuff in the cabinets, too."

"Okay.

meant

enough

you

see

"I'll

said, "if

said.

He knew was

I

to

later,"

I

.

.

.

Thanks."

was throwing

my

in the towel,

but he

situation not to say anything.

he said as he slung his backpack

over his shoulder and went out the door.

As soon

door closed,

as the

hauled myself out of the

I

up the booklet from

chair and picked

the

counter.

stepped on the pedal of the trash can and dropped

The

lid

closed,

and

I

felt like

Now know what you're I

You

failed.

Well,

it. I

a terrible failure.

thinking: "Jared, you blew

true,

it's

I

did

my

fail at is

my weight anymore,

that

and

I

I

first

tried.

attempt I

wasn't in denial

wasn't just thinking about

was actually doing something.

When

trying to deal with your problem, don't

limit yourself to

one approach. Try

lots of differ-

ent things. •

As you search

for a solution, stay open-minded.

Consider everything. •

Don't play the "numbers game," spinning the to

make them seem

facts

better than they really are.

If

you weigh 400 pounds, you weigh 400 pounds. Drinking a six-pack of beer every night of the

week

it!

at dieting,

Do Something •

in.

What's the lesson here?"

but the important thing

about

it

I

is

not healthy even

if

you say you're not

get-

DO SOMETHING

ting fall-down drunk.

you out of your •

Making excuses won't

47

help

rut.

People with serious problems often go to great lengths to hide their true condition. Instead, channel all that time

problem.

and energy toward solving the

LESSON

3

Reach for the Stars

Whatever your problem

why would you

tackle

it

is, it's

a really big thing to you. So

in a small

baby-step goals might be a

way

way?

Setting a series of

of creating attainable step-

ping stones for some people, but for most of us

minimizes a serious problem.

If

you

tell

it

simply

yourself that

you're going to lose 10 pounds, then 10 pounds more, then

10 pounds more, and what you really need to lose triple digits,

If

to

Mickey

your

and a

trip

D's.

right?

It

epic struggle for survival and happiness.

It

would have many Okay,

just leads to failure

were a movie, you'd be the hero,

life

would be an

in the

you're just setting yourself up for drudgery

and frustration, and that

down

is

let's

sequels, like Star Wars.

stay with the

Star

Wars analogy

for

a

minute. You, being the hero, can't overcome the Dark Side

by taking out one clone trooper here and another clone

REACH FOR THE STARS

trooper there.

head-on,

fly

A

49

real hero has to confront the big

right into the

problem

Death Star and blow

to

it

smithereens. Your goal has to be as important as you are,

and since you're the hero of your own

you should

life,

set a

goal that's worthy of you.

Small goals are easily forgotten, swept under the rug, put off until tomorrow. Big goals can't be ignored. They become a quest rather

than just an annoying addition to your daily routine.

A

big

goal involves struggle and sacrifice, and you must convince yourself that you're

you It's

fail

just a little setback. is

weight was

I

my

case

what?

was

it

literally a life-or-death

my

came much more focused.

work

for

I

problem

lot

tificial

me, but

no big

if

deal.

future. Losing

I

me

because

was going

to die.

in these terms,

I

I

be-

I

needed a

diet

also realized that

work

if

I

for me.

of overweight people drink diet sodas and use ar-

sweeteners in their coffee

seem to

my

realized that

couldn't depend on the diet to do the

A

It's

matter for

hundred pounds,

started to see

plan that would

the other hand,

But with a greater goal, something

at stake. In

didn't drop a couple

Once

On

task.

to achieve a small goal, so

important

I

up to the

lose weight.

Why?

all

the time and they never

Because they're hoping the

product will do the work for them. This

couch potato saying

he's

is

the

same

as a

going to run a marathon, so he

goes out and buys the most expensive pair of running shoes

on the market. Obviously the shoes alone won't do him.

He

for

has to get up off the couch, train hard, get sweaty,

get dirty, endure the pain. That's

athon.

it

how you

finish a

mar-

— SUBWAY GUY

JAflED. THE

50

the

It's

Or

same with losing weight. Or quitting

Or

getting off drugs or booze.

You

lems.

can't

can't be passive

win the

cigarettes.

facing your family prob-

You

struggle without struggling.

and think that Diet Coke or methadone or

nicotine chewing

gum

do

will

it

for you.

You have

do

to

it

for you.

You

own

can't be a

life.

You have

minor character

After

I

and act

to be the hero

Reach

front the monster head-on.

gave up on

my

JL was

me

still

first diet,

and

in the cabinets

movie of your

Con-

heroically.

for the stars!

big-time. All the healthy food that

to

in the

felt

I

I

that

had

I

failed

had bought and given reminding

refrigerator,

that I'd failed. Every pizza, every burger, every taco,

every burrito, every that

I

ate after that

of soda, every single French fry

liter

me

reminded

my

but unlike other times in didn't get depressed.

still

I

that I'd failed.

overweight

wanted

I

this

life,

time

I

and

I

to lose weight,

hadn't given up hope. That burning ember was

bad,

felt

still

inside

of me, like the last glowing charcoal in the barbecue at the

end of a summer's day.

A

raging

be ignited from that ember.

Most people with

I

fire

of success could

truly believed that.

serious problems have

"lottery-ticket dreams."

still

Someday

I'll

what

call

I

be rich, they think,

but they have no plan for making more money. Every day they have

all

the hope in the world that luck will shine

down on them. But

as everyone

knows

—them included

the chances of hitting the lottery are incredibly small.

every day these people line

up

to

Still,

buy more and more

lot-

tery tickets.

Obese people, drug

addicts, smokers, gamblers, alco-

REACH FOR THE STARS

look to the horizon for the day

holies, spend-a-holics all

when

51

they will be free of their addictions.

The problem

is

know how to get to that day. In most cases they know how to dream about getting there. It's just

they don't don't even

a hazily envisioned change that will happen sometime in

was exactly how

the nebulous future. That self losing a lot

manageable

someday and

of weight

size,

but

I

I

was.

getting

didn't have a clue as to

I

saw my-

down

to a

how

I

was

didn't

you

going to get there.

Now, just

know what

I

go on another

books

Well,

Why

didn't

you

just pick

one up

it?"

did that.

I

Jared? There are dozens of diet

diet,

in the bookstore.

and follow

"Why

you're thinking.

And

be the

I'll

first

to say that experts

and programs can be a great help when trying to overcome a

huge problem, but not for everyone. Diet books and

diet

programs can also be crutches that keep you disabled you run from one to another, searching certainly

was the case with me.

I

sources for a miracle, like the guy the convenience store for

more

lottery involves blind luck

—you

pens or

it

kept looking to outside

who

just a

keeps going back to

lottery tickets. Hitting the just stand there

a step, then another step, then another

there

was another

diet

was

it.

That's

life

and

it

hap-

means taking

toward your goal.

a bust, but

diet out there that

matter of finding

That

for a solution.

doesn't. Actively changing your

The 1,800-calories-a-day

as

I

was sure

would work.

why

there are so

was

It

many

bestselling diet books and diet products on the market.

People are always looking for something that will

them, and

I

fit

right into that category.

work

for

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

52

felt

I

that a big

problem with the healthy food

amount of time

the

have to spend so

I

had to put into

much

Perhaps

it.

That's

diet.

solution hit me: frozen foods. I'd heard

loss.

I

never paid

I

after pictures

when

—that

frozen foods.

work I

much

If it

worked

I

new

a

ads

experienced dramatic

attention to before-and-

was them, not me,

off than

when

I'd seen the

I

started seeing photos of people as

some case worse

it

who had

that featured people

weight

didn't

about the vari-

all

ous frozen entrees created for dieters, and

TV

if I

was

time preparing the food, maybe I'd

have an easier time sticking with a

on

diet

was,

thought

— but

bad off and

in

started to consider diet

I

for those people,

why

shouldn't

me?

for

my courage and went back to the grocery steering my cart straight to the frozen-food aisle. I

gathered

store,

scanned the shelves behind the frosty glass of refrigerator cases until

I

found the low-fat entrees. As soon as

colorful pictures of hot meals this

was going

on the boxes,

more fun than

to be a lot

Those scrumptious photos stared back in the pet-store

at

I

I

saw the

knew

that

the last time.

me,

like

puppies

window, begging me to take them home.

There were chicken dinners with creamy sauces, chicken enchiladas, chili, spaghetti and meatballs, lasagna, fettuccine Alfredo, pot roast, meatloaf, Salisbury steak, and,

wonder of a

little

all

wonders, pizza! Several kinds of pizza!

light-headed with joy.

weight, that would be like I

that

loaded up

made

diet

.

my cart with

.

If .

I

I

got

could eat pizza and lose

like eating pizza!

entrees

from

all

the companies

food and pushed on to the checkout, glee-

fully stacking frozen-food

boxes on the conveyor belt for

REACH FOR THE STARS

me

the clerk to ring

got home,

much

up. I'd bought so

had to take out the

I

53

ice trays to

when

food,

fit it all

I

in the

freezer. I

was

freezer.

delirious as

my new

packed

I

Not only were

purchases into the

they low-calorie, in most cases these

boxes contained complete meals with the side dish cluded, just like the old-fashioned

TV

dinners.

I

in-

didn't

have to worry about making different things

in different

pots and pans and timing

all

same time.

the

in the

All

it

so that they were

had to do was

I

microwave, zap ready.

thought.

couldn't wait to have

knew which one

it

At dinnertime meat sauce

couldn't have been

It

I

would

it

my

bell dinged,

and

off the plastic top.

good

sign,

carried I

my

dug

one, and

I

meal to the

I

already

— lasagna with

microwave.

watched

I

it

turned round and round.

it

pulled

meal

out, immediately peeling

it

A

very

grabbed a fork from the drawer and table.

spearing a forkful and blowing on

in,

I

smelled absolutely delicious.

It

thought.

I

I

it

more convenient,

first

first

in the

through the glass window as

The

and shazaml

be.

pulled out

—and stuck

my

at

one of these babies

for three minutes,

it

would be I

stick

ready

The aroma was amazing. This was going

it

to cool

to be great,

it.

I

thought.

Then I

I

tasted

I

can't

tell

but

you how awful and disappointing

second

tried a

fluke,

I

I

bite,

hoping that the

was frowning

garbage can to

was what

it.

fish

thought

as

out the box it

was.

chewed.

I

it

first

came

Maybe

it

in to

I

it

was.

one was a

went

make

to the

sure this

was yak parmesan and

JAR

54

I'd

E

D

SUBWAY GUY

THE

,

assumed from the picture that

was

was

lasagna. But, no,

I

This was supposed to be lasagna with meat

right.

sauce, but

it

it

come

didn't even

close.

and the consistency was chalky.

The cheese

way

stretched the

sauce looked right, but

was

it

The

mean,

I

taste

looked perfect.

it

was supposed

it

inedible.

know

I

was weird,

to, it's

and the a cliche,

but in this case the box probably did taste better than what

was

inside.

But

wasn't about to give up on these meals yet.

I

down and

forced the lasagna

told myself that this probably

wasn't that company's best dish and

The

again.

others

would be

I

better,

I

I

just

wouldn't buy

it

told myself. Especially

the pizza.

But

I

was so wrong,

The cheese

no

better than

my

broke

day was a

for lunch the next pizza.

it

The pizza

seriously

had

The sauce was

tasted like melted plastic.

I

I

pitiful imitation of a real

uncooked tomato

soggy cardboard.

heart.

The

paste.

wondered

if

crust

this

was

like

was the com-

pany's cruel response to the box-being-better-than-the-

food

cliche.

For again

my

it

next meal,

I

heated up the turkey dinner. Once

smelled pretty good, and

it

delicious Thanksgiving dinners I'd taste

was

a

this one,

ways heat up

had

at

I

evenly.

stuffing

memories of

home. But the

huge letdown. The meat was

mashed potatoes and

And with

triggered

dry,

and the

were blander than bland.

discovered that these dinners didn't

One

bite

the skin off the roof of

my mouth

cold as

ice.

no problem,

minute

in the

Well, that's

al-

would be hot enough to burn while the next was as I

thought. Another

microwave warmed up the potatoes and

"

REACH FOR THE STARS

55

stuffing nicely, but the turkey turned to shoe leather

and

the gravy burned to a dark sticky solid. Still, I

were a

was

lot

willing to give these dinners a chance. There

of others in the freezer,

figured there

many

had to be some good ones.

pick the bad ones

to choose from. I

I

happened to

just

first.

But there weren't any good ones.

The meatloaf

tasted like pressed sawdust.

was convinced the Salisbury steak was made from old

I

ground-up car

The

tires.

were gummy, and the Alfredo

fettuccine noodles

sauce looked and tasted like glue.

The

spaghetti and meatballs? Forget about

it.

String

and

mothballs.

wanted to

I

time

went

I

membering

my

like these meals,

really did, but the next

I

to the freezer to pick one out, all

I

hesitated, re-

the bad tastes I'd experienced.

foot and looked

down

at

my

stuck out

I

sneaker, thinking

it

prob-

ably tasted better than any of these frozen meals. That's

when I

gave up on the frozen food

I

diet.

walked over to JL's room. He was bent over

studying. "JL,"

dinners

He

I

I

said, "if

you want any of those frozen

bought, help yourself

—

held up his open hand and

wrinkled

his

his desk,

showed me

his

palm.

He

nose and made a stinky face as he shook his

head. I

went back

to the kitchen

and emptied out the

dropping one box after another into the frustrated. I'd spent a lot of

now

trash.

I

freezer,

was doubly

money on these foods, and

they were going to waste. But even though

I

was

giv-

JARED, THE SUBWAY BUY

56

ing up

on

this

approach,

I

wasn't giving up on the idea of

slimming down. Late one night about a

me

to

as

I

was watching

week

later a

television.

A

new

solution

came

commercial came on

According to the announcer, the tried-and-

for diet shakes.

was "one

true formula for weight loss

delicious shake for

breakfast, another delicious shake for lunch, and a sensible

dinner of your choice." The commercial showed the usual before-and-after pictures

—dumpy housewives turned into

drop-dead gorgeous babes, flabby used-car salesmen with

bad comb-overs transformed into gleaming-toothed body builders

— but that wasn't what impressed me.

"sensible dinner" part.

and they came late,

The shakes sounded

It

was the

pretty tasty,

in several flavors including vanilla,

strawberry, and coffee.

I

choco-

couldn't imagine that they

could taste any worse than those chemical-flavored frozen

my own

dinners. But getting to pick

appealing to me.

If I

dinner was extremely

could tough out the two liquid meals,

then I'd be able to have a regular, solid dinner. Just as long as

it

was

"sensible."

company had

Well, the shake "delicious" than

But

totally artificial. if it

did. Their

I

I

was

a different definition for

product tasted horrible and

willing to put

up with

the taste

worked.

Unfortunately

I

also

had a problem with the shake com-

pany's definition of "sensible dinner." Their notion of a sensible dinner

was more

cal

string beans,

pudding.

one

with

my

first diet,

the

—a

skinless chicken breast, a half

slice

of bread, and a dollop of low-

1,800-calories-a-day diet

cup of

in line

My definition was a

bit different.

REACH FOR THE STARS

57

After drinking a terrible 16-ounce shake for breakfast

and a second

16-ounce shake for lunch, by the time

terrible

dinner rolled around

days on the shake

diet,

we had

whatever

was ravenous. The

I

me, and

By the I

had

I

third day,

when

lunch, but

pretty bare so

macaroni and

— but that wasn't very much food

was

I

like a

hungry T. rex on the hunt.

my two

shakes for breakfast and

was time

it

salad,

from

satisfied.

drunk

dutifully

—tuna

house

in the

wasn't

couple of

tried to put together dinners

I

cheese, canned beef stew for

first

for dinner, the

cupboards were

decided to go out to the local Chinese

I

restaurant that had an all-you-can-eat buffet for $8.99. figured

I

deserved a treat for

Now, I knew ever

I

really

this

was going

wanted to

until the choice

made

The

egg

dishes, all of

that

I

would

rolls,

them

cleaned

plate,

went back a

steak, lo mein,

pay

I

and

I

swore to myself

eat "sensibly," that

was so hungry and the buffet

just couldn't help myself. in

rolls

my

the

pot stickers, and about a dozen other

no time, then loaded

and a

fistful

the restaurant scowled at

register to

all

mu shu pork,

up

it

bill.

He'd

as

I

went

definitely lost

table

again.

I

meal with

of fortune cookies.

me

I

loaded up

I

for thirds, then finally finished off the

few more egg

owner of

it

was on

sweet sauce.

there for the taking.

I

could twist logic

I

Including deep-fried Gen-

yummy

stick to the diet

was too tempting.

bad for me, but when-

figured I'd just eat whatever

had pepper

wouldn't pig out, but

my

I

at the buffet.

buffet also

fried rice,

to be

efforts.

perfect sense. Chicken

chicken in that

eral Tso's

my good

eat something,

diets I'd tried so far, so

chicken they had

all

I

The

to the cash

money

that

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

51

and

night,

who was

But, hey,

Any

kidding?

I

wagon

off the

felt terrible for falling

I

diet that left

me

this

for

me.

hungry by the end of the day wasn't going to work

As soon

as

got home,

I

my

tossed

I

again.

pow-

four canisters of

dered shake mix into the garbage. I

went

bed that night frustrated and disappointed

to

with myself.

myself very much.

world knew what self-esteem

was

at the

out.

my

bottom of

As

I

down no one

about nonexistent.

rumbling again, and up. I'd reached

just

I

wanted

to

and

wallowed

my

tell it

I

in self-pity,

I

more and more

restricted.

I

my

with

would

ever cover me,

and

But as dejected as

deep within

me

tried to analyze

was

thing

my

I

—

my

life

my

life,

becomfinish

insurance

company

probably end up dying young. a faint voice

still

You'll find a solution."

hoping for?

come

goal?

start

The

up,

I

stared at the ceiling and

situation objectively.

—that was obvious.

my

of getting

had hope.

the sun started to

weight

No

"Keep going.

But what exactly was

As

way

have to move back

was, there was

I

were stuck

that refused to be silenced. "Don't give up,

Jared," the voice said. I still

I'd

I

wouldn't be able to

parents, permanently.

My

to shut the hell

fast-forwarded

college. I'd never find a decent job. I'd in

JL.

stomach was

felt as if

didn't see any

I

in the

tossed and turned

By dawn

sick.

lowest point yet.

a pit,

I

imagining myself gaining more weight, and ing

didn't like

I

was going through, not even

I

just

as a result

that deep

felt

I

worrying myself

night,

all

and

I'd failed again,

diet

But

books

I

had to

lose

how much

weight?

What

read

said the

same

I'd

all

with a manageable goal, 5 pounds, 10 pounds,

REACH FOR THE STARS

something you can achieve pretty inspired to lose more. But

What was a

mountain, right? wasn't going to

I

was reaching

really

was 425 pounds.

I

me?

for

I

you take

If

still

that conventional diet

for me.

I

could reach

for the stars.

I

got a

wisdom

needed a better goal, a worfor,

even

seemed

if it

like

needed to figure out what

wanted I

insomniac ruminations,

my

again in

What

on,

I

wanted.

my

In

knew

work

thy goal, something I

come

of dirt off a mountain, you've

full

be

easily, so that you'll

pounds going to do

losing 10

wheelbarrow

59

head

until

to be happy. I really

I

what

realized

I

wanted

went over

to be

wanted was to be able

I

it

really

happy with to step

on

again and

wanted.

my

/

body.

a scale

and

see

my

me

for years, like a favorite scene in a cherished old movie.

I

weight under 200.

knew

was

that this

what

I

scale.

To

feel

I

I

I

was

wanted.

to a I

on

a scale.

on

To

had to

If

major

revelation.

wanted to drop

figure out

how

I

finally

at least

If

to

do

you want to

226 pounds so

it.

yourself that you'll do

results, set a big goal for

lose it

in

I

knew what

for the Stars

you want to achieve big

yourself.

see

around 6:00 a.m.,

could get on a scale and see 199.

just

a

a normal-sized person.

Reach •

getting

started to drift off to sleep

I

really

that

a fantasy I'd carried with

a nearly impossible goal, but that's

good about myself

knew I had come I

was

truly wanted: not to be embarrassed getting

concrete proof that

As

It

100 pounds, don't

tell

10-pound increments.

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

60

Small goals are easily forgotten, but big goals can't be ignored. Shoot for the

moon and

tell

yourself

you're going to lose 100 pounds. •

You

can't

win

a struggle without struggling.

have to do the "heavy •

You

lifting" yourself.

You are the hero of our own

life,

so act like a hero.

Confront your problem head-on. •

Get

rid of

your "lottery-ticket dreams." (Someday

I'll

be rich.

.

.

.

I'll

be sober.

.

.

it

Someday .

)

I'll

be thin.

.

.

.

Someday

Wishing and hoping won't make

happen. Stop dreaming and

start doing.

LESSON 4

Find Your Personal Spark

After three failed attempts at dieting, I

needed something to spur

We

phous

and dreads hidden

try to hide

came

me on when

weakening. fears

I

I

to realize that

felt

I

them and

called

resolve

seem to keep a squirming bag of amor-

all

in the attics of

forget about them, but

our I

bring mine out into the open and use them to tage.

my

them

my

lives.

We

decided to

my

advan-

personal sparks. They were very

powerful incentives because they were unique to me, mine

and mine alone, and therefore

own

Cultivate your

them whenever you're

I

couldn't ignore them.

personal sparks and draw upon

in

danger of veering off the path to

your goal. Pull

one of the

examine ative.

it

little

closely.

demons out

What

is it?

A

of your secret bag and

fear.

And

a fear

is

a neg-

JAREO. THE SUBWAY GUY

62

Now

turn

it

to avoid being

around to make

harmed by

a positive, an incentive

it

that fear.

you're a shopoholic, what's your worst fear?

If

Maxing

out your credit cards and getting repeated calls from the

companies demanding payment? Well, make

credit card

that your personal spark.

Think about having

to deal with

a nasty collection agency or a corporate legal department

every time you're tempted to buy something you

know you

really shouldn't.

Addicted to marijuana? Imagine what to get arrested for possession

Think of the

legal hassles

it

like

of an illegal substance.

and the personal embarrassment.

Imagine losing your job because of

Think of

it.

things before you roll yourself a joint or

new

would be

these

all

buy yourself

a

supply.

Do you

have anger issues and take

it

out on your wife

and kids? Next time you're ready to explode, imagine them leaving you. Imagine your wife filing for divorce. Imagine

your kids never speaking to you again.

keep your temper

in

It

might help you

check before you explode.

Keep your personal sparks

in the

back of your mind

and use them whenever you need them, the way a cardiac patient might carry nitroglycerin pills, just in case. fully you'll never

need them, but

if

you do, don't

Hope-

hesitate to

use them.

There were a couple of things that had happened to fore I

I

started dieting that took

on greater

me

significance

be-

when

got serious about losing weight. They were fears that had

been dwelling in

my mind

and nibbling away

at

my

self-

FIND YOUR PERSONAL SPARK

confidence for some time.

like a

meteor

falling out of the sky. It

nightmares about just thinking

As

I

about

I

cringe

I

my

sleep-

and nodding off during the day, too. By the time I

would go

to sleep without even realizing

I

off,

my

usually during class. situation,

didn't

I

concern me, though

also snored,

let

it.

and

I

much

was

would suddenly

just

course, being in denial

my

weird sleeping patterns should have been very

I

normal.

isn't

told that

it

wasn't a gentle Rip-

van-Winkle-snoozing-under-a-tree kind of snore.

was equivalent to

back

fall

Of

in hindsight

concerned. Sleeping that

I

to bed for the night, sleep

wake up and

I

had

found myself sleeping more and more

twelve hours straight through, then

about

I

it.

continued to gain weight in high school,

entered college,

doze

hitting

was so bad

and even now

for a long time,

it

ing habits changed. at night

of these fears related to a

had come without warning,

terrible incident that

me

One

63

gale-force winds.

I

My snore

snored so badly

I

could

have been the subject of a special report on the Weather Channel.

My roommate, JL,

never complained about

how bad

my

snoring,

was

until

I

dorm one morning and noticed

that

someone had put

so

I

didn't realize

new message on our plastic board, the ers.

it

floor's

left

message board.

our suite at the

It

a

was a white

kind that's used with washable ink mark-

The message was impossible

to ignore.

written in big block letters in thick red ink:

YOU SNORE OUT YOUR BUTT SOME MORE, The author's anger was well as his words.

I

in his

It

had been

why don't

JARED!!!

boldfaced penmanship as

must have kept him up with

my

snor-

— JADED, THE SUBWAY GUY

64

ing the night before, but

could carry from

I

couldn't believe that the sound

my room inside my suite, out into the hall-

way, and into his room in his

Whoever thought.

No

that's

lem was

me who

wasn't

Couldn't be.

But

guy was, he was

this

It

all

suite.

how

my

stuff. It I

asked

my

parents

could

I

if I

my

I

it

my

ex-

had to haul

lot to

move

my

—a mini-

a desktop computer, boxes

shoes, the usual college-kid

fit

into

my car in

one

trip,

so

just

an hour

could easily drive home,

I

up, and drive back in one day.

No

thought.

the campus. School

was

a leisurely breakfast.

I

know what

compact car* Well,

in the

1993 Honda

was

Civic.

drove

saying,

I

my

I

did.

my

I

left

and then had

gold Toyota Corolla

you're thinking. Jared, you

yes,

I

morning by the time

over, so I'd slept late

nearly as comfortable as

I

of

could borrow their minivan. They

was around eleven

As

had a

parents' house.

pick up the van, load

I

I

I

no problem. Indiana University was

away from

(Yes,

last

students store their belong-

let

boom box, CDs, DVDs, clothes,

said, sure,

It

had taken the

a

was more than

problem,

I

May.

the end of

set,

I

it.

dorms over the summer, so

TV

me, but

at

second year of college.

ams. The university didn't

of books,

The evidence of my prob-

denial works.

Classes had ended, and

fridge, a

told myself.

I

around me, sometimes screaming

home by

I

one snores that loudly.

Until the end of

ings in the

being a jerk,

kept him up,

simply refused to acknowledge

stuff

just

It

was

a tight

previous car,

loved that car, but

my

fit,

fit

into a

and not

beloved red

more on

that later.)

drove the Corolla home, stayed long

FIND YOUR PERSONAL SPARK

my mom,

enough to have lunch with

65

then drove the mini-

van back to school.

was the middle of the afternoon by

It

up

Read

to

lobby

modern

Hall, a relatively

move

versity provided for students to

it

up

six-story

I

pulled

dorm. In the

snatched one of the big laundry carts that the uni-

I

pushed

the time

onto an

it

and squeezed

elevator,

where

to the sixth floor,

in

my

IU

cally the heaviest student at

suite

lived

in

was

and out with, with

it,

taking

located. Ironi-

on the top

floor of

one

of the highest buildings on campus. I

the cart to the

filled

brought

it

sweat as

I

I

unloaded the

them

effort I

my

it

than

thought

stopped off

floor of the

into the cart.

was awkward

I'd

dorm

ished up. I'd

left

mini-fridge and I

two boxes

took them down and

back of the van. The fridge wasn't that

into the

heavy, but

was drenched with

shirt

cart.

went back up and put

CDs

with books and clothes and

My

out to the van.

of videotapes and slid

gills

it

for

to

move and took more

would.

vending-machine room on the

at the

for a soda

my

me

and a bag of chips before

computer and

first I

fin-

television set for last,

not wanting to leave them alone in the van.

The computer monitor was heavy and cumbersome, and

my

back ached as

thing with the

TV

I

lowered

set.

it

The weight was

to be careful not to drop

it.

By the time

lopsided, I

wedged

puter into the cart and put the keyboard

pooped.

I

sat

down on

thought about going didn't

want

to waste

the bed

down

Same

into the deep cart.

and rested

on

and

I

com-

the

top,

had

was

I

for a while.

to the van for a dry shirt, but

any more time than

I

had

to. If

I

I

I

left

JARED. THE SUBWAY GUY

66

soon,

wouldn't get caught

I

rush-hour

in

around

traffic

In-

dianapolis. I

hauled myself off the bed and pushed

down

Out

to the van.

my

popped and

back protested

my cart,

heavy items out of

empty

the

cart

dropped off

"Have

parking

in the

struggled to

I

but eventually

did

I

it. I

lift

the

walked

back to the lobby, huffing and puffing, and

my

key

dorm

at the

office.

good summer," the

a

as

lot

my last load my shoulders

girl collecting

keys said to

me.

"Yeah

.

was barely

.

.

you too,"

able to get the

She narrowed her eyes

"Yeah

.

to the van. I

.

I

.

I'm fine."

really

said.

I

I

words at

was breathing so hard

I

I

out.

me. "You okay?" she

said.

waved good-bye and trudged back

wanted to beat the

traffic.

climbed into the minivan, started the engine, and put

on the air-conditioning

full blast.

and

my

the cold air hit

let

I

sat there for a

face. It felt so

good

I

minute thought

about tipping the seat back and just resting for a while, but it

was

getting late.

knew

I

my trip home would I

that

if I

got caught in rush hour,

take twice as long.

switched on the radio. The Dave Matthews Band was

playing

"What Would You Say?" That perked me

up, so

I

turned up the volume. I

backed out of the parking space and headed

37. Five minutes later

ing for home. There

I

was more

out that morning, but

behind perate

me and to make

sat

was whizzing down

it

on

time.

traffic

wasn't bad.

my

My

tail,

Route

the road, head-

than when

A

for

big rig

I'd started

came up

fast

the trucker obviously des-

parents' minivan

was no match

FIND YOUR PERSONAL

for a trailer truck, so

He

gave him the road. After a while dio. It

was ten

stepped on

it. I

I

I

immediately zoomed past me.

after four.

a

I

could tired,

little

it

clock in the dashboard ra-

at the

over to rest for a while, but

could stick

67

pulled into the far right lane and

glanced

was

SPARK

still

and

beat the rush hour

I

thought about pulling

was almost halfway

I

out for another half hour,

I

there.

I

told myself.

I

turned up the volume on the radio and adjusted the

was blowing

vents so that the cold air into the middle lane

Another big

and drove a

came up

rig

if I

right at me.

air

pulled

I

little faster.

fast

behind me, flashing

his

He got within three feet of my rear bumper and stayed there. Not a very subtle hint. I immediately signaled and got out of his way before he rolled and blowing

lights

his horn.

over me, the jerk.

A

few minutes

later

I

saw a sign

ahead. Another fifteen minutes and

Bon

Jovi

was on

liked that song

made up

for Indianapolis

I'll

be home,

the radio, "Living

I

thought.

on a Prayer."

and started humming along with

who'd

for the nasty trucker

up

tailgated me.

I

it.

I

It

really

got into the song, nodding to the beat, singing along with the chorus.

And

that

When

I

is

the last thing

woke up

I

again, the minivan

bouncing violently, making gripped the wheel for dear

me,

just grass.

the grassy area ing at

I

remember.

all

life.

highway speed!

swerved. Instantly

I

kinds of awful noises.

left

and realized

side of the highway. But I

took

slammed on

my

I

There was no road ahead of

looked right and

on the

was rumbling and

I

I

was

the brakes.

was on travel-

The van

foot off the brake pedal and

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

68

steered into the swerve as

ened out, and bring

if I

pumped

I

were on

ice.

The van

straight-

the brake steadily until

I

could

to a halt.

it

My heart was pounding like a jackhammer in my chest. How I

did

I

get here?

looked

wondered. What the

I

hell

happened?

rearview mirror. Tire tracks scarred the

in the

ground behind me. In the back of the van I

my stuff had

all

shifted to

one

side.

was sweating buckets despite the air-conditioning.

couldn't figure out

The radio was

how

still

I

I'd gotten there.

on,

Bon

Jovi

on

blasting "Living

still

a Prayer." I

turned

it

off,

dazed and confused.

blacked out for no reason,

shook the cobwebs out of

Then

I

started to put

out warning was a

me

all

the time.

I

thought.

I

my

of sleep apnea.

Not

the road and into the grass.

up.

I

My in.

happened to

off,

the grassy area

I'd

and the van drifted off

The noise and

figured

when

I'd never actually fallen

it

the jostling

was

must

must have happened

matter of seconds because the song was

Thank God

face and

now.

until

must have suddenly dozed

me

It

could remember a few occasions

asleep while driving.

have woken

my

head.

been drowsy behind the wheel, but

I

rubbed

just

together. Falling asleep with-

it all

symptom

I

must have

I

flat. I

still

in a

playing.

could've been killed.

heart started pounding harder as that thought sunk

Not only could

other people, too.

I

I

have killed myself,

I

could have killed

thought about school buses and vans

full

of kids and overturned trailer trucks and massive pileups.

My

weight problem had struck again.

I

couldn't even

FIND YOUR PERSONAL SPARK

on

rely

my own body

anymore. me. ger

was

I

I

drive,

I

my

wouldn't be able to get around.

my

If

a tailspin as

my

to get myself together

I

imagined

how

all

glad that

I

didn't.

I

was

I

p.m.

parents' house.

by the time

As

I

were

"Jared,"

at the

my

dining

mother

I

walked

My

diately smelled dinner.

took

it

I

and

I

I

was

would suddenly

fall

wouldn't cause much damage

crawling along in bumper-to-bumper

was 6:30

kinds of

and get back on the road, but

terrified that

asleep again, but at least

sister

were

driver's

long

didn't beat the rush-hour traffic that afternoon,

my

couldn't

activities

If I lost

I'm not sure

terrible worst-case scenarios.

It

I

big-

would.

My mind went into me

weight.

My

The

wheelchairs would have more options

license, people in I

and everyone around

world was becoming.

already severely limited by

than

as simple as drive

I'd never be able to drive again.

got the smaller

I

do something

to

a danger to myself

worried that

69

traffic.

pulled into the driveway at in the front door,

parents,

my

I

brother,

imme-

my

and

room

table, just getting started.

said,

"where've you been? We've

been waiting for you." "Stop for a snack?"

my

Adam, asked

brother,

in his

typically snarky way.

My

sister, Jessica,

"Did you get a

threw him a dirty look.

late start?"

my

father asked.

"You

said

you'd be back before now." "I hit traffic,"

My

I

nerves were

said. still

jangled, but

them what had happened. ther

would

insist that

I

go

My

I

wasn't about to

mother would panic.

My

tell

fa-

to a brain doctor for a battery of

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

70

tests.

Adam, who was

a senior in high school,

my

car,

"Well, don't just stand there,"

my

hard for full-time custody of

would lobby

which we were sup-

posed to be sharing.

sit

down and I

mother

eat."

my

nodded and took

bowl of spaghetti

place at the table.

meat sauce

in

table flanked by an even bigger

foods in the world.

wooden bowl

chomped down on

my

my

grabbed a piece of

I

I

it.

A

big serving

sat in the center of the

a basket of crusty garlic bread, one of

way, to calm

"Come

said.

of salad and

all-time favorite garlic bread

wasn't that hungry, but

I

and

ate any-

nerves.

The memory of

that incident

became

my

Personal Spark

#1.

My

second big scare wasn't as dramatic as falling asleep

behind the wheel, but because

way

I

was

my

feet

it.

I'd sit in

my

more.

reminder of

I

my

ankles had got-

really didn't think any-

favorite chair in the den

up on the hassock

Maybe

in.

had noticed that since high school

thing of

me

as a constant

more and more swollen, but

ten

scared

it

was always with me

it

the perilous situation I

in a

as

I

and put

snacked and watched TV.

moon during the commercials, I'd noand how big they'd become. But by the time

Every once in a blue tice

my

ankles

the commercials forget about

were over and the show came back on,

it.

By my second year of the size of

anymore,

I'd

my

calves.

I

college,

my

ankles had

grown

didn't seem to have ankles at

just legs straight

down

to

my

shoes. But after

to all

my

FIND YOUR PERSONAL SPARK

trip to the endocrinologist,

ankles. In fact,

I

couldn't ignore the state of

I

became obsessed with them. You

me

doctor had told

that

I

was

skin, typically in the limbs,

see, the

beneath the

fluids

an early warning sign of dia-

is

me.

betes, he'd told

remember

my

type 2 diabetes.

at risk for

Edema, the abnormal accumulation of

I

71

sitting in the

den not long

after that trip to

my ankles up on the hasmy knee as best I could and my ankle. When removed my finger,

the endocrinologist, staring at

sock.

my

crossed

I

poked a

leg over

finger into

I

the skin didn't bounce back into shape.

dentation intently.

stayed that

It

way

stared at the in-

I

for several minutes.

Too many minutes. I

was

like a

scab

—and

it

I

time

terrified the first

I

saw

couldn't stop picking.

I

thought about

it

a lot

—

but

this,

it

soon became

Whenever I thought about

I'd stick

my

finger into

my

ankle and wait for the skin to return to normal, hoping that this time

never did.

would bounce back a

it

And

never stopped testing

I

But

little faster. it,

it

praying that the

next time would be different.

One day when lived

on

my

"Hey,"

come

He

floor,

Bill

into the

Well, from

just

me

doing

startling

said,

what

I

me.

guy who

this in the lounge. I

hadn't noticed

was doing with my

belly button

my

"Can you do I

caught

at school, Bill, a

him

room.

stared at

you can put a

was back

I

all

"Man,

on your ankle. Cool."

point of view,

that

ankle.

it

wasn't very cool at

over your body?"

Bill

all.

asked.

gave him a look that said, don't go there.

"Sorry," he said.

He

turned around and

left

the room.

72

J A R

E

D

,

1HE

SUBWAY GUY

me from

But getting caught didn't stop

and over again, and because as

I

continued to do

betes gradually

my

I

this over

didn't stop

the thought of getting dia-

was something

fear to a per-

had to overcome,

I

had to avoid getting diabetes, and the

I

sign that

it,

that

changed from a boogeyman

sonal spark. This myself.

was a good thing

it

doing

was out of danger would be when

I

finger into

my

I

I

told

clearest

could stick

ankle and the skin would bounce back,

meaning there was no

fluid

buildup

in there. It

became

my

Personal Spark #2.

Falling asleep at the wheel

the hell out of me. So did

and driving off the road scared

my

big fat blobby ankles. I'm not

glad that these things happened to me, but ultimately they

were good

me this

me. They were the kicks

needed to do something about

I

I

for

managed

to transform

my

my

in the butt that told

weight problem. I

did

by keeping the running-off-the-road incident and

my

ankles fresh in

fluid-filled

my

fears into incentives.

mind.

When

I

finally got seri-

ous about dieting, there were plenty of times

when

I

got

discouraged and thought about throwing in the towel.

when

That's

I

would mentally

revisit the

afternoon

I

went

Bon

careening over the grass at sixty miles an hour with Jovi rocking

on the

Every time for a

I

radio.

thought about going

Whopper and an

moned

the

memory

of

down

to Burger

extra-large order of fries,

me

sitting

if

this

sum-

behind the wheel of

parents' minivan, gripping the wheel for dear

ing

I

King

life,

my

wonder-

was the end.

Every time

I

considered a "reward" trip to the Chinese

FIND YOUR PERSONAL SPARK

my

buffet for sticking to

marks

my

tires

Every time

number so

I

had made

in the grass.

my

closed

I

and overturned

Every time

eyes and imagined the horrible

could have caused with mangled

I

trailer

trucks

all

over the highway.

got the hankering for a Big Gulp of regular

I

Coke, instead of Diet Coke, its

recalled the swerving skid

opened the yellow pages for the Pizza Hut

I

multi-vehicle accident

on

I

could order a large Meat Lover's for a mid-

night snack,

cars

diet,

73

I

pictured a school bus lying

with a swarm of rescue workers pulling injured

side

kids out of the windows.

And when

I

wasn't willing to relive that terrible experi-

ence on the road, kles.

I

would

reminded

my

me

flesh.

that

These were

my

thought to spur

back to

my

I

I

down

just look

didn't even have to

finger into

my

I

lift

my

at

my

pant legs and stick

knew what was down

didn't

want

personal power packs

unique to me, based on

I

it

to get diabetes.

or a jolt to prevent

old eating habits,

my

and

there,

personal sparks. Whenever

me on

bloated an-

I

needed a

me from

going

would use them. They were

—powerful

because they were

my own experiences,

and

far better

than generic warnings about the dangers of obesity.

When-

me back into trouble, and carried me away to a

ever temptation threatened to lure

my

personal sparks kicked in

safer place.

Unfortunately right away.

It

I

didn't start using

took a while before

I

my

was

personal sparks

able to transform

these nightmares about diabetes and sleep apnea into positive incentives.

I

got the big scare from the endocrinologist

during winter break of

my

third year at college,

and

it

74

J

ARE

D

,

SUBWAY GUY

THE

wasn't until the middle of spring semester that stoked. But by then

I

was ready

to

make

it

I

got

happen. The

three false starts with the diets that had failed did not dis-

courage me.

I

kept telling myself that there was something

out there that would

make find

sense to

that

I

for

me, something that would

would

stick with.

I

just

had to

it.

And it.

me and

work

then one day

when

I

wasn't even trying,

I

did find

Right next door.

Find Your Personal Spark

•

Turn a negative

into a positive, or

what

I

call a

personal spark. Transform your deepest fear into

—getting arrested drug possession, for instance — and think of that every time you get an incentive

for

the urge to light •

up

a joint.

Develop a few personal sparks and pull them out

whenever you're tempted by your addiction, be overeating,

taking

spending, whatever.

drugs,

getting

drunk,

it

over-

LESSON 5

One Size Doesn't

Interstate 95, the all

the

way up

Fit All

highway that runs from the

to the coast of Maine,

is

tip

of Florida

traveled by

people than any other road in America. But

it

more

won't get

you to California. Chocolate has to be the most popular flavor

who

world. But there are some people

But what

if all

in the

don't like chocolate.

of a sudden the only desserts available any-

where were chocolate? They'd be stuck. If

you went to the store to buy a dress and

were clothes

in

one

size

and you weren't that

all

they sold

size,

you'd be

out of luck.

The point

is,

one

size doesn't

fit all.

Well, you're probably thinking, everybody In concept, yes,

everybody does

know

knows

that, but

that.

when

it

comes to dealing with big problems, people get roped into thinking that one size does

fit all.

JARED. THE SUBWAY GUY

76

Read any

diet

book on

the market. Research any

mercial diet program you can find. They

and regulations. There experimentation.

One

Same thing with message

is,

is little

or no

size fits all.

all

room

Take

it

have

strict rules

for variation or

or leave

twelve-step programs.

it.

The underlying

follow the steps as prescribed or else you won't

succeed. These programs are like the terrible boss his

com-

employees,

my way

"It's

who

tells

or the highway."

"Boot camps" for troubled teens are the obvious exten-

The mes-

sion of these kinds of overbearing philosophies.

sage or

is

clear:

There

is

only one solution. This

is it.

Follow

it

fail.

You know what You buy rate

I

say to that? Baloney.

clothes to express your uniqueness.

your home to

reflect

your individual

You deco-

taste.

You buy

foods that appeal to you, not the guy next door. So

would you think

that a diet

book written

weight person in the world would work for doesn't

make

When

sense, does

why

for every overlittle ol'

you?

It

it?

you're trying to overcome a big problem and

change your

life,

you must think for

yourself.

Gather as much pertinent information as you can. Check the Internet.

Go

to the library. Consult

bona

fide experts.

But then analyze the problem for yourself. Experiment.

Think outside the box. Create a plan that you think will

work

of a prepackaged one that's aimed at

and no one

in particular.

for

you instead

everyone in general

ONE SIZE DOESN'T

You wouldn't buy a dress

F

I

All

T

77

too big.

that's four sizes

You wouldn't buy a chocolate bar

if

you didn't

like

choco-

late.

You wouldn't take Coast

a

highway that covered only the East

you were trying to get to the West Coast.

if

So don't buy into books and programs that aren't right for you.

Get the

facts

and create a strategy

unique as you

that's as

are.

I

had

with

me

tried three different diets,

three. Naturally

all

feel

I

was

and

I'd

crashed and burned

frustrated,

and what made

even worse was that I'd bailed on each one in

less

than a week. Initially I'd felt like a failure.

I

blamed myself. There

had to be something wrong with me because low a simple

diet

Why couldn't

I?

But then

I

and

all

ured

if

thought about

to stick with failed. It I

it. I

what

the forbidden foods

the diet

—

was any good,

it,

I

diets to

was supposed

and cut

at least until it

diets that

had

was doing diets.

my

gave up.

I

made

one

fig-

who had

I

picked up some

As

articles at the library.

research, one thing struck

they had

I

failed.

They didn't make any sense

Maybe

to,

would have encouraged me

started searching for another diet.

books and looked up pertinent

it.

had followed these

right? In reality J wasn't the

was the

couldn't fol-

lose weight. Plenty of people did

the letter, eaten exactly

out

I

me

about

all

I

these

to me.

sense to the people

who had

sue-

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

78

me

ceeded with them, but to

some

they were ridiculous and in

cases extreme.

Just eat protein. Just eat one thing a day for every meal. Just eat fruit. Just eat rice.

Just drink shakes. Just eat a certain brand of frozen entrees.

These

book

diets

seemed crazy to me. The author of one

read actually recommended carrying a head of raw

I

cabbage around with you and nibbling on

had a craving. This wasn't a I

diet

diet for

human

my

stopped beating myself up about

myself that in real

keep searching me. But

until

had to do

I

one

life

size doesn't

found the

I

it

it

whenever you beings!

failures

fit all. I

diet that

and told

just

was

had to

right for

soon because spring break was

coming. Everyone

I

knew

at

school had plans for spring break.

If

they weren't going home, they were migrating south for

warm

weather, sunny beaches, and nonstop partying in

places like Fort Lauderdale and South Padre Island. Naturally

way

I

plane

two

wasn't going anywhere near a beach, not with the

I

felt

—

I

about

my

was too

seats,

I

body.

big;

And anyway,

Even

if

I

couldn't get

on a

me

take

they would have

couldn't afford them.

And

if I

let

drove to Florida

or the Gulf Coast, spring break would be half over by the

time

I

got there.

But dents,

I

I

didn't

want

to

go home. Like most college

liked the freedom of living

to stay in Bloomington.

I

on

stu-

my own, so I decided

had a small part-time job

at a

OIE SIZE DOESN'T FIT ALL

mom-and-pop video

and

rental store,

I

could work more hours that week to

make some I

me

customers saw

Even though

ing out videos,

I

I

was

And when

could

sit

were the comedies. What could be

arrived at

work on

thirty hours for the next

week. But

when

boss,

took a look

I

wasn't check-

movies.

My

fa-

better?

the Friday before spring break,

my

disappointed

in public view,

I

down and watch

hoping that Mr. Jenks,

"Only eighteen hours?" if

fill

only from the chest up because the

checkout counter was that high.

vorites

my boss if I up my time and

asked

extra money.

really liked that job.

I

79

I

would

at least

was more than a

I

my

at

me

give

schedule.

can put

said. "I

little

more hours

in

you need me. Really."

Mr. Jenks pressed shook

his lips into a

gonna be

his head. "It's

lege kids gone, Jared.

I

sympathetic smile and

a slow

really don't

week with

all

the col-

need you for any more

than that. Sorry."

"Yeah,

I

guess you're right,"

said.

went behind the desk and

I

worked before me. Beauty and the big

we

I

TV

the Beast

set bolted to the wall.

the guy

relieved

was playing on

Mr. Jenks

play only G-rated movies during the day

came

in

really

paying attention to what was going on

with their kids.

Only eighteen hours, It

What self

wasn't that I

I

I

I

who

insisted that

when

parents

stared blankly at the screen, not in the

movie.

thought glumly. Not good.

desperately needed the extra money.

desperately needed was something to do with

during that week off from school.

Me

my-

with nothing to

do was a very bad combination because when

I

got bored,

JARED, IHE SUBWAY GUY

80

I

ate.

I

could just see myself hanging around the apartment,

playing video games, and eating anything

I

could get

my

day for a

Fri-

hands on.

As Mr. Jenks had predicted, day.

The exodus had

the break.

When

was

it

a slow

from campus

started as kids fled

Beauty and the Beast ended,

for

picked an-

I

other G-rated movie from the shelf of approved "daytime"

movies.

and

I

popped Toy Story

let it roll

Maybe

I

as

I

into the

VCR,

pressed "play,"

continued to obsess about

should find another

my

diet, quick,

situation.

thought.

I

I

could go over to the big mega-bookstore after work and

comb through

Maybe some new

the diet section again.

books had come

in.

But

I

wasn't

ver,y

hopeful. I'd checked

out dozens of diet books in the stores, hopeful that I'd find the one that

made any I

was

right for me. But as

sense to me, and

knew I wasn't going

My

shift

ended

at

if

I

said,

a diet didn't

to follow

none of them

make any

it.

7:00 p.m., and

I

dreaded the thought

of going back to the apartment. JL had told

be leaving for

and

I'd

home

sense,

The

that afternoon.

me

place

that he'd

was empty,

be alone with the whole evening ahead of me.

I

could watch TV, read a book, or play video games, but

each of those

activities

would

force of habit. There wasn't

my

appetite by

in the

apartment,

stimulate

much food

but there was a phone and a phone book.

was

in the

Our apartment

"student ghetto," and there were plenty of

restaurants, pizzerias, and fast-food places that delivered to our neighborhood.

from any

I

would be

high-fat, high-calorie

just seven digits

food

I

desired.

I

away

knew my-

OIE SIZE DOESN'T

self well

enough to know that

F

ALL

T

I

might

I

II

temptation for

resist

one night but not for a whole week. got off the bus on the corner

I

feeling alone

lived

building,

on the second

floor

were going.

girls

were packing up a red

VW

beginning of the semester,

and making fun of

me

as

I

and excited about wher-

want

didn't

I

I'd

A

couple of

Beetle parked at the curb, giddy ever they

my

and vulnerable. The apartment building was

three stories high and nearly a block long.

who

of

in front

to

walk by them. At the

heard one of them laughing

passed by.

mood

wasn't in the

I

for a repeat.

was dinnertime, and

I

was

even thought about what

I

would do

It

was determined not to

call

ordered something healthy the

feeling hungry.

I

first

time,

the building.

It

for the restaurant,

why

I

first

and

I

floor

knew how

have to admit

were taking

it

I

if

I

I

would

was

—

it

pizzas.

right in

stop.

Two

had been gutted to make way

picked that building.

girls

that

Subway sandwich shop

you had a fast-food restaurant

The

felt

was on the corner near the bus

apartments on the

son

I

I

was ordering midnight

Fortunately there was a

but

for dinner,

out for takeout. Even

open the door for more takeout, and wouldn't be long before

hadn't

I

Who

just a

it

was part of the

rea-

needed to shop when

few doors down?

their time loading the Beetle, so

I

decided to go into the Subway and get a sandwich for dinner.

For some reason they were busy that night. Seven

people were standing in line ahead of me. ing to wait, but at least

ment

for a

little

it

I

didn't like hav-

would keep me out of

while longer.

the apart-

JAAED, THE SUBWAY GUY

82

I

woman

overheard the

Must be buying

several sandwiches.

family,

figured.

I

heaved a

I

head of the

at the

ing to take a while.

I

line

ordering

dinner for her whole

was go-

sigh, sensing that this

wished

I

had brought something to

read with me. I

looked around for the free newspapers that usually

by the front door, but something

in a pile

eye instead

—

bunch of pamphlets

a

took a closer look and read the

in a

title

on the

cover:

started reading. "7 under 6,"

seven different

of fat or

good.

I

Subway sandwiches

I

thought.

From my

the stats

grams

that contained 6

diet

book reading,

I

was

fat

on everything they served

same way packaged foods

their nutritional content

Subway

I

knew pretty

opened the pamphlet and read more.

rant, the

show

line.

discovered, referred to

I

The pamphlet was made up mostly of showed

went over

and got back into

meal with fewer than 6 grams of I

subway

less.

Hmmm, that a

I

6.

wondered what that meant, "7 under 6."

to the rack, took a pamphlet,

my

rack on the wall.

NUTRITIONAL AND DIETARY GUIDE: 7 UNDER I

caught

else

sat

in the

charts that

in the restau-

supermarket

on the boxes and

charts even gave values separately for

labels.

The

what went

into the sandwiches,, including the bread, cheese,

mayo,

breakdowns

for all

mustard, and

oil. It

also gave similar

the chips and desserts they served.

company would go in a

pamphlet for

I

was impressed

that the

to the trouble to print this information

their customers.

I

couldn't think of any

other fast-food restaurants that did that.

OIE SIZE DOESI'T FIT ALL

I

13

woman

glanced up and noticed that the

with the big

order was at the cash register paying for her sandwiches.

There were

still

six other people

ahead of me, so

I

went

back to the pamphlet. I

checked the values on some of

wiches, and

I

was shocked. An

with 21 grams of total

fat.

Italian

And

that

sandwich, not the 12-inch, which dered.

BMT

was is

450

is

calories

just for the 6-inch

what

I

always or-

a chart that contained

Subway's competitors' offerings. calories

and 33 grams of

and 42 grams of

me

favorite sand-

Whoa!

The pamphlet included

for

my

to gobble

fat.

down

Big

Mac

A Whopper

fat.

Jeez,

A

I

thought.

a half

It

some of

contains 600

has 700 calories wasn't unusual

dozen of these burgers

in

a day. I

flipped

back to the

under 6" chart.

I

first

chart in the pamphlet, the "7

scanned the calorie column and discov-

ered that a 6-inch turkey sandwich has just

and 4.5 grams of

fat.

The 6-inch Veggie

has 230 calories and 3 grams of Interesting, I

280

Delite

calories

sandwich

fat.

thought.

I

went to the chips chart and discovered

that a small

bag of baked potato chips has 130 calories and 1.5 grams of

fat. I

did a

little

quick math in

my

head. Say

I

had a 6-inch

turkey sub, a bag of baked chips, and a diet soda for lunch

and a 12-inch Veggie Delite with baked chips and a soda for dinner, a

thousand

I

would have consumed

calories.

And

a

little

diet

more than

they'd be low-fat calories.

And

if

JARED, 1HE SUBWAY GUY

84

I

had

just a

cup of coffee for breakfast,

the 2,000 calories a day

recommended

I'd

way under

be

my

for a person

age

and height. sounded too good to be

It

again. But

my

true, so

I

ran the numbers

addition had been right the

A lightbulb

flashed in

my

head.

This could be the solution

I'd

been looking

over 1,000 calories a day eating food

I

that.

Plus,

it

from where

more nally

had

had eaten

I

with extra

request, of course. But

no more of

was convenient. Healthy food was

just didn't

It

my

I

was psyched.

I

steps

at

little

— loaded

Subway's turkey sandwiches before

mayo

A

for.

actually liked.

never tried the Veggie Delite sandwich, but

cheese and

time.

first

I

I

I

just a

few

lived.

seem possible

thought about

it,

the

that this

more

had found something that

But wait a minute,

I

would work, but

the

seemed.

Fi-

possible

made

really

thought. This

it

is

sense to me.

crazy.

Look

at that

bread.

peered through the glass counter

at the

plump

loaves

of white and wheat bread on display.

How

could

possi-

I

bly lose weight eating bread like that? Bread

was

I

fatten-

ing, right? I

loved bread, and bread was part of the reason I'd got-

ten so heavy.

When

I

was a kid and

out to a restaurant for dinner, I'd

my

family would go

make

sure

something reasonable from the menu so that wouldn't get on

my

my

case about

my

poor eating

I

my

ordered parents

habits.

But

focus would be on the bread basket. I'd gradually

nibble

away on dinner

roll after

dinner roll until the basket

ONE SIZE DOESI'T FIT ALL

was empty, then pray other one, which

many

ber

when

my

ents,

So

in

brother, or

my mind

my

can remem-

I

two baskets

polished off nearly

I

nobody

of bread and butter, and

would bring us an-

what happened.

usually

is

occasions

that the waitress

85

sister

at the table

—was any

— not my par-

wiser.

bread was a bad thing.

A

diet that in-

cluded 18 inches worth of bread a day could never work.

checked the pamphlet to see what

and to

my amazement

it

had to say about

I

that,

the values given for the sandwiches

included the bread.

Damn,

I

thought. This really could work.

"Next. Next!

Sir,

can

I

help

you?"

looked up from the pamphlet. The

I

counter was talking to me. She was waiting for

my

order. I'd been so

that

I

was

"Uh

at the front

..."

her head.

deep

in thought,

of the

scanned the

I

I

behind the

girl

me

to place

didn't even realize

line.

menu board on

the wall over

usually ordered a 12-inch steak and cheese

I

sandwich with extra meat and cheese and plenty of mayo.

"What can I

w as r

at a crossroads.

back into "Sir?

get you?" the girl asked.

I

my

old, bad,

could try something

know. I'm

It

was now or

want

or

fall

comforting eating habits.

sorry,"

I

said. "I

never. Just

do

.

it, I

a 6-inch turkey sub

." .

told myself.

"What kind

of cheese?" she asked.

cheese, thank you."

"You got

it."

Try

on whole wheat,"

gripping the pamphlet tightly.

"No

new

There are other people waiting."

"I

"I

I

it.

I

said,

"

JARED. THE SUBWAY GUY

86

my

She assembled

sandwich and passed

like

— vinegar

on

"Mustard,"

me

I

"Mayo? Mustard?

he asked.

it?"

said, cutting

him

to the

"What would

next person behind the counter, a young man.

you

on

it

Oil and

off before he

tempted

with a creamy dressing. "Spicy mustard." "Lettuce, tomato, onions, green peppers, sweet peppers,

jalapenos, olives?"

"Ah

.

.

everything except tomatoes, onions, and olives,

.

please."

He

put the fixings on

my

sandwich. "For here or to

go?" he asked.

"Togo."

He wrapped at the

up and passed

it

said.

I

—and a

She rang

"A

regular

me up and handed me

more

ice

in

The two

my back pocket and

much a

I

as

what

like

I

I

paid her

I

ice,

usually

filled

up with

but this time instead.

headed home.

took a

I

stuck the

I

wanted to

stats.

from upstairs were

loading up

still

to taste this sandwich, see

usually ordered.

I

wanted

low-calorie fast-food meal

it. I

I

hardly gave them a second look as

I

wanted

low-fat,

wanted to

Subway

ditzy girls

their Beetle, but

passed by.

—the baked

a large cup.

and chose Diet Coke

read more about the

what

woman

young

large soda."

Coke and not too much

pamphlet

as

to the

small bag of potato chips

and went to the soda dispensers.

little

on

cash register. "Anything else?" she asked.

"Yes,"

kind

it

desperately wanted to like

if I

liked

I it

to find out

was it.

like.

I

OIE SIZE DOESI'T Fll All

As soon

as

I

got back to

It

apartment,

unwrapped my

the kitchen table, bite.

my

wasn't bad. In fact

17

down

sat

I

at

sub, and took a big

was good, very good.

it

It

wasn't an overstuffed cheese steak with gobs of mayonnaise, but

was good.

it

I

glanced at the refrigerator and

remembered

the terrible low-cal frozen entrees and the

awful shakes

I'd tried.

By comparison,

this

sandwich was

heavenly.

opened the bag of chips and chomped down on one.

I

Not what

was used

I

here.

The

could I

to,

with

bit into

my

fast eater, I

was

and then

and shook the crumbs sucked up the

sound

filled

last

a

little

kid,

eat mine.

in the

drops of

was with everyone gone.

bag

my

TVs and

On

it

off in

probably because

I

thing

to,

but

I

no

my

time.

dad

feared that he'd

is

my

directly into

mouth.

I

realized

most nights the

how

quiet

faint

sounds

I

it

people talking in other apartments

reminder that

break, the place was

I

soda, and the loud slurping

before, but the sounds of other people

plex, or the world.

a

fin-

carried through the thin walls. I'd never thought about

forting, a gentle

I

ate the last of the chips

the apartment. Suddenly

of stereos and

Same

sip.

Coke wasn't what I was used

sandwich and finished

and when

ish his portion

soda and took a

it.

had always been a fast eater,

my

taste of Diet

live

different than

but they weren't bad.

stuck a straw in

I

I

They were

as greasy as regular chips.

I

were

sort of

it

com-

wasn't alone in the com-

But with everyone gone for spring silent.

crumpled up the sandwich wrapper and the potato-

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

88

chip bag and threw them in the trash.

showed

stove

the

the time in a green digital glow: 8:18.

Now what am rest of the night

I

supposed to do?

wondered.

I

had the

I

ahead of me.

my

picked up the soda cup, brought the straw to

I

mouth, and ice. I

tried to suck

dumped

it

phone book

the

The clock on

in the sink sitting

didn't really feel

I

up a

little

more, but

it

and threw out the cup.

was I

just

noticed

on the counter. Should've ordered a 12-inch,

full.

I

thought.

Tomorrow morrow I

night,

pulled the

I

I'll

get the big one to-

Subway pamphlet out of my back pocket and

fat counts.

a day,

told myself.

night.

flipped through

and

I

it,

scanning the charts, rereading the calorie

This could work,

two bags of chips, two

I

thought.

Two sandwiches

sodas. This really could work.

looked around the empty apartment, listening to the

My eye drifted back to the yellow counter. My stomach rumbled. sighed. silence.

pages on the

I

It

was going

to be a long night.

One Size Doesn't •

When

you're trying to overcome a big problem

and change your

life,

you must think

Don't depend on someone •

No

Fit All

single

program

the one that will

is

work

method.

change works for everyone

for

because each person

else's

for yourself.

a unique individual. Find

for you.

OIE SIZE OOESI'T

•

If

program

a

make low •

If

change

sense to you.

If it

is

IS

going to work,

doesn't,

you

it

has to

will never fol-

it.

you can't

ate

for

Fll ALL

find a

your own.

method

that

works

for you, cre-

LESSON

Change Your Mind

We've

all

to

6

Change Your

heard the expression, "If

life

gives

Life

you lemons,

make lemonade."

A

variation

on the theme

is,

"If

you

can't hide

it,

high-

light it."

In other words, take positive with

it.

You can use holding your you'll

what you've got and do something

this attitude to defeat

hostage. But to

life

make

whatever problem

is

this transformation,

have to change your ingrained notions about the

things that are affecting you.

Overweight people, for instance, are afraid of being hungry. Hunger think hunger

is

is

not a comfortable feeling, therefore they

bad and possibly even harmful. But

that's a

preconceived notion and an erroneous one. that negative notion

on

its

a tool for losing weight. Just

tell

yourself that

You can turn

make

it

head and

CHANGE YOUR MIND

hunger

good, that

is

it's

weight. Don't think of

nourishment. Think of a pat

on the back,

CHANGE YOUR

LIFE

91

concrete proof that you're losing as

it it

TO

your body's desperate cry for

as a

compliment from your body,

a high five for the progress you're

making. Shopoholics want things that they don't need. Nevertheless,

that feeling of

want and need takes over

their person-

They become obsessed with making purchases,

alities.

often buying things that they can't afford.

and can lead to

their lives

It

takes over

financial ruin. Shopoholics can't

cope with their impulses. Their desire to spend becomes a

and they come to

vicious beast,

fed every time

But

Make it

who

it

feel that the beast

must be

growls.

says so?

Why

not just

the craving to spend a

good

let

the beast growl?

thing.

Welcome

as a positive indication that you're dealing

it.

See

with your

problem.

Turn your obsession around and make Sucking

up and enduring the

it

saving money.

the shopoholic

is

ing wasteful.

also

It

means

it

work

desire to spend It

means

for you.

means

that

that he's not be-

that he isn't cluttering his house

with unnecessary purchases. All positives.

—whether or narcotics — go through with-

People with substance addictions feine, nicotine, alcohol,

it's

caf-

drawal when they don't get what their bodies have come to crave.

I

don't take these kinds of addictions lightly,

and I'm not suggesting that withdrawal can be managed easily or

without the help of medical professionals, but

changing your mind about withdrawal can make a big difference.

JARE

92

0,

THE

SUBWAY GUY

a person thinks of physical withdrawal as harmful

If

and dangerous,

she'll

run right back to her drug of choice

to avoid the pain and anguish. But

withdrawal as a sign of progress

in the battle against her

addiction, perhaps she won't dread

can think of

it

change for the

When

symptom

as a

it

much. She

quite as

of the body undergoing a

better.

was trying

I

that person thinks of

if

to lose weight,

I

constantly com-

pared the tastes of low-calorie, low-fat foods with the highcalorie, high-fat foods

knew and

I

loved.

I

felt

that diet

sodas had a chemical aftertaste. Baked potato chips were just

okay and not nearly

regular chips.

I

didn't dislike the taste of mustard

sandwiches, but

And

I

I

didn't like

loved cheese. All

essary ingredient a

as satisfying as the salty, greasy,

on

my

it

life

I

as

much

sandwich without cheese

—ham

I

my

as mayonnaise.

had thought of

a sandwich. In fact,

on

as a nec-

it

couldn't imagine

and American cheese,

turkey and Swiss, Italian cold cuts and provolone, cheese-

no law

that says a sandwich has to

steaks. Well, there

is

have cheese, and

learned that very tasty sandwiches can

be

made without

When

I

I it.

got serious about losing weight,

ceived notions about food had to change.

my mind

with them. Every time

was

different

from what

ticularly care for,

the calories

I

I

I

I

precon-

had to change

about low-calorie, low-fat foods and learn

live

positive.

I

my

all

how to

encountered a diet taste that

was used

told myself that

wasn't putting into

to or that

I

didn't par-

was an indication of

it

my

body.

And

that's a

CHANGE YOUR MIND

I

was

CHANGE YOUR

LIFE

93

also able to "trick" myself into eating better by

eating a fast food that

was

dicted to fast food, but in fast

TO

food that

satisfied

healthy.

was hopelessly ad-

I

Subway sandwiches

my

I

found a

my

psychological as well as

physical cravings.

Your brain leads your body, so change

If

in

your

my

the

Subway

"fat pants,"

loss, that after I'd

is

There

no

is

first.

pill

for

discovered the health benefits of it

was

loss. If that's

a straight

what you

and

think,

record straight.

set the

There

a

you might have gotten the im-

easy path to dramatic weight

me

make

television commercials,

their low-calorie, low-fat sandwiches,

let

order to

Subway sandwiches were my magic

pression that

weight

change your mind

me on

you've seen

holding up

life,

in

straight

no

and easy path to dramatic weight

straight

and easy path to any major

loss. life

change. I

my

am first

not exaggerating healthy

I

say that the night

Subway sandwich was

Not long

soul for me.

when

after

I

ate that

I

had

a dark night of the

sandwich,

my

old

demons converged on me, haunting me and tempting me to eat more.

When

They were hard

to resist.

the hunger pangs started,

I

went to

my

computer

and surfed the Net for more information about weight

loss

and the truth about foods that seem to be healthy but really aren't.

I

wanted to make sure that anything

sandwiches from For instance,

I

now on

I

wouldn't undermine

had always thought of cheese

put on

my

my

efforts.

as dairy

and

JAR ED, THE SUBWAY GUY

94

thus basically a good food, but cheeses are high in olive oil,

which

reality loaded

as butter.

I

sandwiches

Of cheese.

fat.

What

found out that most

I

always heard was the healthy

I'd

with

and had every

fat

oil,

many

bit as

that

was

in

calories

resolved not to put either of these items on

my

in the future.

made me hungry

course, reading about cheese

Cheddar

all

reminded

kinds of cheeses.

me

for

American cheese, Swiss cheese,

cheese,

mozzarella cheese, olive oil

me was

really surprised

And

reading about

of Italian food, and

my

stomach

groaned longingly for pasta and meatballs and lasagna and

my all-time favorite, garlic bread. Almost every Web site on nutrition featured pictures of food, and that made me hungry, too. looked over my

veal

parmesan and

I

shoulder toward the kitchen. The yellow pages on the

counter started calling to me: "Don't able, Jared. I

Order

My

more

down

the computer.

stomach rumbled, pleading with me.

tried to ignore the temptations

front of the

TV.

didn't

want

I

and watched for a while

went

War

—

to a

epic.

It

wanted a

meat toppings.

and plopped down

channel-surfed until

looked interesting, a Civil

the characters

I

pictures of food.

pizza, extra large, extra cheese, three I

yourself miser-

a pizza."

logged off and shut

to see any

make

I

I

in

found a movie that

started getting into

until the battle scenes

it

ended and

sumptuous Southern dinner on

a

plantation.

My stomach I

begged for mercy.

changed the channel, quickly bypassing

all

food and

CHANGE YOUR

MUD

restaurant commercials. there

were

until

I

TO

CHANGE YOUR

I

line

me

He was

my mind

like

in the night.

my thumb

found a stand-up comic doing

front of an audience.

jokes took

They were

tried to avoid them.

kept flipping channels, working

mote. Finally

95

had never realized how many

I

squadrons of vampire bats bombarding I

LIFE

over the re-

his routine in

actually pretty funny and his

off eating

—

until

he started in on

air-

food.

Click!

A

romantic comedy about a couple

who

up and getting back together turned sour couple

made

a date to

meet

keep breaking

for

me when

the

at a their favorite restaurant.

Click!

The

eleven o'clock news. Great. I'd catch

of the day. Votes in congress. speech.

A

three-alarm

fire at

up on

the events

The president making

a local factory,

which

a

totally

destroyed the entire building. The weather forecast. Sports.

And

finally a

human-interest piece on a blueberry pie-eating

contest, featuring a line of big-bellied contestants, their

faces

smeared purple.

Click!

A

martial arts movie.

Young

villagers training

with a

kung-fu master to defend their village from invaders. Terrific.

That had to be

safe,

I

thought.

And

it

was

—

until the

students took a much-deserved break from their grueling training regimen for a meal of rice

by the master

who

regaled

value of a good, hearty meal. Click! Click! Click!

and vegetables prepared

them with advice about

the

96

J A R

I

hungryl Hunger pangs gnawed

all

stomach

just

wouldn't shut up,

whiny toddler who refused I

SUBWAY GUY

THE

,

channel-surfed for another hour, bored, disgruntled,

and most of

my

E

TV and

shut off the

the kitchen.

pizzeria's

number by

midnight

yet.

an annoying,

down.

to settle

glanced through the doorway into

The yellow pages were

was the phone. Not

like

me, and

at

that

I

heart.

know

didn't already

my

checked

I

They stayed open

So

in there, waiting.

late

the local

watch.

and

wasn't

It

delivered.

I

still

had time. But didn't

didn't get out of

I

want

Get up, a pizza.

I

my

chair.

my

stomach urged. Make the

know you want

one.

My

My

I

to

do

it. I

was

I

Jared.

Order

one.

Midnight pizzas

that.

body had gotten used to

a load of carbs and fat before bed. fix. If

call,

We both want

was no question about

had become a habit with me.

diction,

want

to give in to temptation.

Well, there

nightly

didn't

I

It

was crying out

for

its

had ever doubted that overeating was an ad-

totally

convinced now.

stomach made the loudest, most pathetic rumble

I'd ever heard,

and

I'd

heard

it

make

all

kinds of noises in

the past.

But pathy.

I

resisted.

I

told myself

At 425 pounds

And more than

I

it

was

was hardly

anything,

I

didn't

just

in

want

begging for sym-

danger of starving. to

fail

again.

My stomach rumbled again, even more pathetic this time. I

ignored the moaning and groaning and headed for the

bathroom.

my

clothes,

I

washed

my

face,

brushed

and crawled into bed.

only solution

at this point. If

I

was

I

my

teeth,

figured sleep

asleep,

I

took off

was the

couldn't eat.

CHANGE YOUR MIND

But

my

stomach was

while, prodding

me

I'm not sure

quit.

stomach

finally

if I

97

me up

kept

I

I

eventually

just

wouldn't

the fact that

but, surprisingly,

wasn't ravenous kept

I

my

asleep.

fell

woke up hungry

in the car

for quite a

used to the feeling or

just got

gave up, but

And

from jumping

insistent. It

LIFE

with hunger pangs that

The next morning not ravenous.

AN6E YOUR

TO CH

me

IHOP for a and my choice

and going out to

jumbo stack of pancakes with

lots of butter

of syrup with a double side order of bacon, ham, and sausage. Instead,

of coffee. That's

I

all.

As you might soon as

bling again.

fill. I

I

tivated

And

it

stomach wasn't happy. As started rumbling

watch.

It

just

about nine

hours before

at least three

wasn't scheduled to

I

was

and grum-

work

I

could

until three that

had a whole morning and part of the afternoon to

was

But

I

my

my coffee, looked at my

had to wait

I

have lunch. day.

suspect,

finished

I

o'clock.

kept to the plan and fixed myself a cup

I

in a perilous overeating

danger zone.

remained determined. Remember,

whenever

exception.

I

I

started a

was not going

of the game. Besides,

I

new

was curious

was always mo-

this

time was no

and cheat

at this stage

diet,

to snack

I

and

to see

if

my

experiment

with low-fat, low-cal Subway sandwiches would work. I

decided to go out and stay out until

lunch.

was

I

went to the front window to

like,

dowpane.

and It

my

was

heart sank. There still

see

was

it

was time

what the weather frost

on the win-

winter in Indiana, and we'd had an-

other freeze overnight. This kind of weather always

me

for

filled

with dread. I

had come to hate winter, but not for the usual reasons.

JARED, THE SUBWAY 6UY

98

I

was

was

afraid of ice. Ice

balance was

iffy at best.

feared that

would

my

my

enemy. At

Whenever

weight

got this cold,

it

always

I

ice

and

fall.

And

For one thing, getting back on

my

feet

would be

I

slip

on the

my

would

that

be bad news for me.

jor chore,

and

miliating

would

to

my knees,

I

Me

hollering for

on

my

me and

somebody

come

to

I

I

would be confined' to

leg.

mer of wheelchairs? And would

damaged bone

my

weight again?

I

And

me? The Hum-

get for

able to support

I

had

I

a wheelchair.

what kind of wheelchair would they the

up.

down

falling

and hurting myself, breaking a bone, maybe a nightmares that

me

off.

more was

feared even

help

from upstairs

girls

laughing their heads

But the scenario

hu-

belly struggling to get

could just imagine those two nasty pointing at

How

might even have to ask for help. that be?

ma-

a

ever be

could end up being a

cripple.

moved away from

I

the

window and turned on

to check the local weather forecast. Fortunately

sunny

for

skies

the

TV

called

it

and temperatures above freezing by noon.

That was good. But

I still

had to

fill

up

my morning

with

something besides eating.

My

stomach grumbled

dent that

Trapped and

I

if it

would eventually succumb

in the

just video

would find.

I

insidiously, as

to

house with nothing good on

games and the

Internet to

were

temptation.

TV at this hour occupy me,

surely scavenge the kitchen and eat anything

And knowing me, I would furrowed

eat all of

confi-

I

I

could

it.

my brow and frowned. This was

bad.

I

looked

MUD

CHANGE YOUR

out the

window

My

CHAIGE YOUR

LIFE

9!

again, hoping for the sun to burn through

my wish was

the clouds, but

TO

command.

not the sun's

stomach emitted a rippling rumble

as

if

were

it

laughing at me. I

sat

down

in

my

armchair

remote was on the coffee table within reach. commercials for

all

kinds of foods.

shows and morning

They would

all

I

I

imagined

imagined cooking

shows with cooking segments.

talk

my

trigger

The

in front of the television.

appetite.

I

decided not to watch

television.

My more

stomach made

like a burble. It

new

a

noise, smaller than a rumble,

was almost funny, and

it

made me

smile.

And

Up

that's

when something occurred

until this point

I

to me.

had been thinking of these hunger

pangs as a bad thing. But

in reality

what were they?

Nothing. They weren't signs of distress or nitely wasn't

on the verge of

starvation.

noises were just an indication that eating habits.

And

so,

I

I

illness.

defi-

I

These stomach

was changing

my

thought, they were really a

bad

good

thing.

From

moment

that

pangs as rewards.

my body I

that

I

I

me

started to think of

viewed them

was doing the

visualized each

inside

I

my

as positive

rumbles and

feedback from

right thing.

pang and rumble

melting away like an

ice

as a

little

chunk of

cube on a hot

skillet.

fat

My

stomach grumbling was the sound of me getting thinner.

The gnawing

my body

fat

feeling of a

hunger pang was the sensation of

being rendered and dripping away.

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

100

And

as far as falling into the video game/Internet

surflng/snacking trap,

foiled

I

my

smart-aleck stomach by

picking up a book and starting to read.

It

was something

JL had recommended to me a while ago, Stephen

that

King's

It.

I

got into

it

after only a

have been totally engrossed

if it

few pages and would

my

weren't for

pangs and

rumblings.

But that was okay.

my

ach interrupted

I

grinned a

reading.

little

The

each time

my

stom-

was disappearing,

fat

I

told myself.

At twelve o'clock sharp,

I

put

down

the book,

left

my

apartment, and headed over to the Subway sandwich shop.

Once again

I

ordered a 6-inch turkey sub on whole wheat

with mustard and

lots

of veggies (except for tomatoes,

onions, and olives, which

baked potato chips and

I

don't

like).

had a small bag of

I

go with the

a large diet soda to

sandwich.

was

It

my

a satisfying lunch, but

stomach started protesting again.

ing at that

I

first,

but

I

was beginning

my

I

didn't like the feel-

kept on telling myself that

constantly reminded to

around about two o'clock

to lose weight.

me

that

body, and that kept

My

it

was

a sign

rumbling stomach

good things were happening

me from

sneaking off for a half-

dozen tacos or a double-patty burger with

fries

and a

vanilla

shake.

stuck

I

my

it

out and endured the hunger pangs

shift at the

that

I

through

video store, which wasn't easy, considering

was trying to go from massive overeating

eating in just

way

all

one day. At seven o'clock

I

to sensible

went back to Sub-

for a 12-inch Veggie Delite sandwich.

I

ordered an-

CHANGE YOUR MIND

10

CHANGE YOUR

LIFE

111

other bag of baked chips and a large diet soda to wash

down. As I

I

my

walked back to

my

apartment with

it

dinner,

doubted that a vegetable sandwich would be enough food

for me.

But, happily, I

I

was wrong.

liked the Veggie Delite.

large, fresh salad

was surprised

— on

a

sandwich

with mustard.

Afterward,

games

essentially a

choice of lettuce, tomatoes, red

onions, green peppers, pickles, and olives roll slathered

how much

at

was plenty of food,

It

—your

I

I

watched some

for a while,

rumbling again.

I

TV

and eventually

was tempted

to

my stomach

I

snacking habits, so

pulled myself

puter and went back to the

book

started

go foraging

was determined

kitchen cabinets, but I

and played video

to break

away from

I'd started

in

the

my

old

the

com-

reading that

morning. Every few minutes

we were nored

it

my

stomach would remind me that

hungry, but instead of getting alarmed,

Things were happening,

I

Change Your Mind •

I

just ig-

and kept on reading. told myself.

to

Good

Change Your

things.

Life

Turn your addiction around and make

it

work

for

you. Think of the pain and discomfort of with-

drawal as positive feedback that you're kicking

your habit. Hunger pangs, for instance, indicate that you're not putting excess calories into your

body. Your grumbling stomach you're losing weight.

is

telling

you that

JAHEO, THE SUBWAY GUY

102

•

Get used to new

tastes

and sensations.

Many

peo-

ple say they can't stand the taste of diet soda, for

instance, but in reality It's

what you're going

it's

not bad, just different.

to have to live with

tend to lose weight and keep •

The brain

leads the body.

change your mind

first.

it

if

you

in-

off.

To change your

life,

LESSON

7

Don't Tell Anyone

You always need you're trying to

and friends when

the support of family

make

a big change in your

life.

Medical

professionals, therapists, clergy, personal trainers, tutors,

and loved ones can provide invaluable help your goal. But

if

you

tell

too

many

in achieving

people what you're do-

ing, they will expect to see signs of progress,

and

this cre-

ates unnecessary pressure.

Remember, you're making

this

change for you, not for

them. The strength you need to reach your goal can't come

from them. Ultimately you must strength to I

had

people

find

your

own

inner

move forward.

failed at dieting

who knew

I

many

times,

and each time the

was dieting became disappointed or

jaded.

"I'm sorry you didn't lose any weight on that

But don't worry. You'll find one

that'll

work

diet, Jared.

for you."

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

104

Hearing something

and cover

into bed

my

made me want

like that

to crawl

head with a blanket.

But even worse than that were the likely comments

I

didn't hear:

wonder how long

"I

"Why

this diet will last."

doesn't he just give up? He's never going to lose

weight."

"Poor Jared. He's so clueless." I

didn't have to hear people say these things. Their feel-

were clear enough

ings

in their expressions

and attitudes

whenever they were around me.

Sometimes even your most loyal supporters

will inad-

A

vertently say something that throws* you off track. less

comment

ways

will prey

on your mind and

a bad habit, kick a dependency

and no one

You have

set

you back.

else.

—you're doing

Therefore, you have to do

to provide your

own

my new

diet plan consisted of

family would have tried to have

But so

I

I

had done

knew,

knew

if I

that

it

Subway sandwiches,

it

quietly.

me.

My

didn't

lie,

at

my homework. The numbers

had to do

yourself.

me committed.

at least in theory, this I

for your-

it

had announced

and soda. People would have laughed

chips,

break

personal motivation.

Imagine what would have happened that

two

or a statement that could be interpreted

No matter what you're trying to do — lose weight, self

care-

I

could work. But

didn't dare

tell

I

also

anyone.

I

couldn't bear the disappointment of another failure and the criticism that

When

would

you've

follow.

made up your mind

that you're going to

DON'T TELL ANYONE

change your

when you

sweeter

When didn't ets,

tell

anyone.

tell

Subway sandwich

self-styled

anyone what

I

was doing. With

even the ones I'd tried in high school,

family

knew

made me

that

feel terrible.

down. And

that

made

my

Eventually

diet.

came so

predictable,

Whenever body

was

I

I

felt

I

it

more

my other dimy friends and inevitably

I

disappointment

and

failed

difficult for

became

I

announced that

come

had

I

I

me

them

let

to start a

new

unsuccessful attempts at dieting be-

really believed that

didn't

that

their

diet,

all

and when

dieting,

were disappointed, and

failed, they

much

be that

It'll

succeed.

my

started

I

don't

life,

115

right out

I

like the

was

who

starting a

would

I

boy

stick to

cried wolf.

new

even

it,

no-

diet, if

they

and say so out loud to me.

Nothing was more embarrassing to me than being asked about failed.

my

dieting

Every year

my

and having to admit that

had

I

extended family has a big reunion

dinner, a dress-up, sit-down affair usually held at a country club. it's

a

The dinner always happens family tradition with

in early

my

all

cousins gathering together, easily

September, and

aunts, uncles, and

more than

people. There's always plenty of food, not

all

hundred

a

of

it

healthy,

especially the desserts.

When I was reunions.

It

ents getting

a

little

kid,

I

always looked forward to these

was an opportunity on

my

case.

to pig out without

But as

I

got heavier,

I

my

par-

started to

dread these get-togethers. They became Let's-See-How-FatJared-Got-This-Year Day.

Many

of the relatives

who

at-

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

106

tended didn't ten.

and we didn't see them that

live close by,

could sense them staring

I

paring

me

me

at

memories of the

to their

my

behind last

of-

back, com-

time they saw me,

clucking their tongues in pity or disapproval.

Most people with them

They

deal with obese individuals by not dealing

They look away and avoid eye

at all.

treat the

person as

if

he's invisible.

from experience: This kind of treatment

someone shout

ing

out,

knowledges that you're

makes him or her

"Hey, fatso!" At

zero

me

you

tell

worse than hav-

least

an

insult ac-

—worthless.

members of my family would

Several

is

let

Avoiding the obese person

there.

feel like a

But

contact.

habitually give

my

the cloak of invisibility at these reunions, but not

grandfather on

about I

my

my

grandpa

mother's is

One

remember one reunion when

of apple pie a

plate.

la

him with

He

mode

love

I

I

was

in junior high.

that threatened to slide off his for a

a glass of cola in

"Hey, Grandpa,"

I

himself, digging into a generous

He had normal weight

over to

of the things

his honesty.

Grandpa was standing by slice

side.

me

man

my

his age.

said, genuinely glad to see

looked up and smiled.

He

I

walked

hand.

him.

always had a smile for

me. "How've you been, Jared?"

"Okay."

"How's I

my

I

took a

sip of

my

that diet going?

soda.

doing

Still

it?"

abruptly stopped drinking, and the nose.

I

started coughing.

could see that Grandpa was

He dug

still

his fork into his pie

mouth. "So you

still

When

I

fizz

went

right

up

finally stopped,

I

waiting for an answer.

and shoveled a piece into

dieting?" he asked again.

his

"

DON'T TELL ANYOIE

I I

cringed inside. This was the

wanted to

hear.

"Oh," he

"Nope,"

said,

question in the world

flatly.

"Didn't work."

chewed. "Well, one of

as he

good one. Don't worry."

could be blunt sometimes, but at least he acknowl-

edged that I

said

nodding

these days you'll find a

He

I

last

117

I

was a person and

knew deep down he

My

treated

really cared

me

like a

human

being.

about me.

parents cared about me, too, but that caring some-

times turned into head-butting. tional than

my

is

dad. She would fret about

dad was the one who'd reality check.

My mom

I

me down and

sit

remember having

less

my

confronta-

My

weight.

try to give

me

the

to endure a lot of tense

heart-to-hearts with him, but one time in particular sticks in

my

mind.

I

was

in fifth grade,

more than 200 pounds. He on the

sat

and

on one

I

probably weighed

side of the sofa.

I

sat

other.

my dad said to me, "do you realize what you're yourself? Do you realize that you're ruining your

"Jared,"

doing to health?" I

just sat there

want

didn't

to hear

my arms

with

crossed and sulked.

it.

"Jared, you have to listen to me. This

have to cut

much weight I

down on what is

looked up

He cause

exhaled I

to you

is

important. You

you're eating. Carrying this

bad for you." at the ceiling. in frustration.

care about you. if

I

I

"I'm only telling you

care about what's going to happen

you keep eating

this

way.

I

want you

No more sneaking — lunches. No more

down on

the snacks.

No more

extra

this be-

to cut

way

out for Big Macs.

108

J A R

when

That's

down. hard as

my

in

could so that

I

,

SUBWAY GUY

THE

way

figured out a foolproof

I

tucked

I

E

chin and pressed

had

I

to

it

to shut

my

him

chest as

a triple chin.

His face turned red. and his eye bulged.

He was

furious.

"Stop that!" he ordered.

But

didn't.

I

make myself

to

it

more, squeezing harder, trying

even more grotesque.

"Don't do that!" he

yelled.

But

was

didn't stop.

I

lessly telling

me

just did

I

him

It

that

was

I

my way fat

and

I

didn't care, just leave

alone.

Looking back. born when

As

I

I

he was trying to do was help me.

all

a topic

I

ever

wanted

my

didn't

want anyone's sympathy or

feelings,

didn't

fall

and

when we were both

my

didn't

weight

want

to

didn't like probing questions.

into that category:

is

I

advice,

my

brother,

I

which everyone

to offer. But at least one person in

more contentious

Adam

I

bigger),

to discuss.

share

seemed eager

and stub-

regret having been so willful

was growing up (and growing

was not

a

of defying him, word-

my

family

Adam. We'd had

relationship growing up, especially

in

high school.

two years younger than me. He's

a

good-

looking guy. and in high school he was popular and got a lot

of attention. But he

was also known

brother of Jared the blimp. out loud

how

A

lot

for being the

of his friends

he turned out so normal

little

wondered

when he shared

genes with Jabba the Hut.

At the time

I

thought of him as a cool and sometimes

not-so-nice kid, but looking back,

it

couldn't have been

DON'l TELL ANYONE

him having an obese older

easy for friends

who

had older brothers

ropes in ers.

life.

They

A

kind of showed them the

how

to cope with the unpredictable

in those areas.

Adam

much

didn't get

didn't play sports, and

I

with anyone in high school except for JL.

much

people as

as possible.

I

of his

lot

sports from their older broth-

also learned

from me

brother.

They learned

social scene in high school.

socialize

109

as

I

could and spent as

wasn't

much

didn't

I

avoided

time at school

of a role model for

After graduating from high school, to Indiana University.

little

I

help

Adam

Adam.

me

followed

Even though we were on the same

campus, we didn't see much of each other during the

He had

school year.

his friends

busy trying to deal with

my

and

studies

and

I

was

weight.

I

sup-

his scene,

my

and

pose he didn't want to repeat his high school experience

and become known as the

fat

guy's brother.

we did 1993 Honda

But there was one thing

My

beloved red

though

When

it

was

had

I

share at school: a car. Civic hatchback. Even

a tight squeeze for me,

first

promised to get

my

gotten

me any

car

I

my

I

wanted

if I

my

father

started losing

dad modified

didn't have to lose weight to get a car;

to choose

I

his

only had

between a larger used car and a smaller new

one. This might have been his

way

He

big old family sedan.

lose

weight

in

car.

I

wish

it

order to be

me new

of enticing

weight, thinking that I'd prefer a hot

some

loved that car.

driver's license,

weight. Well, that didn't happen, so offer.

I

little

to lose

car to

probably thought that

more comfortable

I'd

in a smaller

had worked out that way, but

it

didn't.

JARED, THE SUBWAY BUY

110

Maybe

it

was because

able despite

my

accommodate

When

I

A

size.

of

lot

which

able steering wheel,

to

found the Civic perfectly comfort-

I

my

I

had to do with the move-

it

raised as high as

it

would go

gut.

went away

to college, the car stayed

home

be-

cause first-year students weren't allowed to keep cars on

campus, and the

red Civic went to

little

had just gotten his license. While aged to wreck

it,

totaled

it,

I

my

brother,

who

Adam man-

was away,

He

completely beyond repair.

my

wasn't hurt in the accident, but

beloved

little

car

was

D.O.A.

when

wasn't angry

I

got the news.

I

the car that

place

A

it.

Adam

my

Adam would

first

use

it

look

in

it

charge of

allowed to keep a car it

just

father

at the

I

later

on

had picked out to

re-

went home

new

happy

car.

for a

week-

The plan was

that

while he was in high school, then the

two of us would share would be

my

gold Toyota Corolla.

end and got

I

and

was

what did upset me

that he hadn't gotten hurt. But

was

I

when he

it

since

whenever he needed

it.

We'd

fall.

was an upperclassman and

I

at school,

started college in the

but he would be able to use

also drive

home

together for

vacations. I

the

went home

new

car.

I

for the

arrived

soon

as

I

to check

shortly after they'd bought

on Friday afternoon and

ing room, chatting with to get back

weekend

my mom,

from school so

I

eagerly waiting for

could see the

it

out.

As

I

came down

slammed

I

went outside

the front walk,

the door closed.

Adam

new Toyota. As

heard him pulling into the driveway,

out of the car and

sat in the liv-

Adam

got

DON'l TELL AN YOKE

111

"So what do you think?" he asked.

It

he was proud of the car and thought of

was obvious as his

it

and

that his

alone.

walked

I

It

looked

around the car and gave

all

me.

fine to

I

opened the

all

steering wheel

dug painfully

tilt it

the once-over.

into

pushed

driver's door,

the way, and lowered myself

the seat back

the lever

it

my

belly.

in.

The

reached for

I

on the steering column to adjust the wheel to

up, but the lever wasn't in the same spot as

been on the Civic.

I

felt all

it

had

around the column, searching

for the lever.

looked up

I

at

Adam, who was

standing next to the

open door. "Where's the steering-wheel

tilt?"

I

asked

him. "This car doesn't have one," he said.

"What?" "It doesn't I

my

have one."

was flabbergasted and absolutely father let

my

furious.

that

Adam

"We have

had done

this

I

snapped

at

wrong with

hissy I

fit,

rid of it,"

Adam said.

it."

him. "I can't drive

He handed me

instantly as-

said. "I can't drive it."

"Are you crazy? We're not getting

I

I

on purpose.

to get rid of this car,"

"There's nothing

could

numbskull brother pick out a car that

didn't have an adjustable steering wheel?

sumed

How

it.

Can't you see that?"

the keys. "Before you start having a

try it."

snatched the keys out of his hand and turned on the

engine.

I

squirmed and fidgeted, trying to get comfortable,

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

112

but

it

was impossible.

I

adjusted the mirrors and fought to

get the seat belt buckled. Finally

I

put the transmission

The engine

into reverse and backed out of the driveway.

had

new-car hum, and

a nice

peppy, but as the street,

I

my

against

I

I

could

that

feel

it

was

turned the steering wheel to back out into

was very unhappy with belly.

I

the wheel rubbing

straightened the car and shifted into

drive.

"Hey, wait up,"

Adam

called out.

He

ran to the passen-

ger side and got in with me. I

glared at him. "Afraid

"You don't want me But up," I

I

I

to

I'll

wreck your car?"

come? Fine."

was already driving down the

said.

drove around the neighborhood, and every time

turned a corner, the steering wheel sawed into wasn't painful, but of

"Just shut

street.

my

it

was annoying.

A

my

I

flesh. It

constant reminder

size.

"I don't like it,"

something

I

said.

"We need

to trade

it

in

and get

else."

"Why?" Adam whined.

"It's

"We're gonna be sharing

it

a

good

car.

next year,"

"We need something I can drive." "Come on, Jared. You only use

I

I

like it."

reminded him.

the car to

buy

fast

food." I I

slammed on

turned

my

the brakes, and the car screeched to a halt.

head and stared daggers

at

stung. "I use the car for a lot of things," that."

him. That really I

said.

"Not

just

DON'l TELL ANYONE

113

"Yeah, sure," he grumbled.

We

drove

home

with

this out directly

stony silence.

in

my

The whole family evening

figured I'd straighten

I

father at dinner that night.

around the dinner table that

sat

—my parents, my brother, my

and me.

Jessica,

little sister,

My mother had made roast beef, mashed potatoes,

and peas.

waited until everyone was eating before

I

broached the

topic.

"Hey, Dad, what do you think about trading

better car than this one."

out and say that

My dad "It's

old.

money

if

his

we

chimed

want Dad

fit

shook

fit

in the

new

want

to

to lose

right

one.

months

it

we'd be

in value,

now."

with his two cents' worth. "You don't

money, do you?" him. They were right, of course, but

just glared at

wasn't what

a

head as he chewed.

sold

in

was

come

a brand-new car, Jared. Just a couple of

Adam

this

didn't

didn't

Given the way new cars depreciate

losing

I

I

I

new

in the

car and getting another Civic like the old one? That

much

I

I

wanted to

hear.

wanted a car

I

I

could

into.

"I'm sure you can

mom I

this

this one, Jared,"

my

said.

kept

my mouth

would

didn't

make do with

want

So that

shut. If

I

pressed

lead to a discussion about to

go

there.

I

my point, I knew that my weight, and I just

never wanted to go there.

we wouldn't argue about

diplomatically changed the subject by asking

thing about his

upcoming prom.

my mother Adam some-

the car,

JABED. THE SUBWAY GUY

114

stared

I

my

plate

down

at the roast

beef and mashed potatoes in

and sulked.

My sister, Jessica, stopped eating and looked at me with sympathy

my

into

in her eyes.

roast beef.

though inside

The

was

sister

I

I

want her

learned to

and

live

she's seven years

ing

TV

lot

after school.

watching

TV

weight.

before

Jessica

who might criticize

brother,

came

we

I

I

down

to

didn't

or ridicule

hung out together

settled

who

straight

can remember plenty of

I

and

Jessica

my

did the same thing because

to deal with people

noons when

We'd

I

am.

I

of time together, watch-

was always out doing something,'

my

kept the

younger than

and playing video games. Unlike

because of

We

again.

were always more on the same wave-

I

bonded because we spent a

want

to be upset, even

with the discomfort.

We

home

and cut

broiling.

though

length, even

didn't

a smile for her

was never brought up

subject

Corolla, and

My

I

worked up

I

after-

in the den,

do our homework.

also snack together.

Jessica

was

a

little

chubby

Thankfully she never got

as a kid,

and she liked to

me, and

nothing for us to polish off a jumbo bag of chips and a of soda while watching a couple of sitcoms.

most of

I

it,

eat.

now she's a normal back when we were kids, it was

like

weight for her height. But

I

me

I

liter

consumed

of course.

remember one spring day during my

senior year

when

decided to treat Jessica to a day at an amusement park,

just the

two of

us.

minute drive from

Old Indiana Fun Park was

my

just a forty-

parents' house in Indianapolis.

It's

OOH'T TELL AIYOIE

closed now, but

115

had been a small, manageable theme

it

park. At the time all-day passes cost only fifteen dollars.

bought one for each of us and looked forward to riding the rides, something

The day

I

is

The

I

loved rides

to get on.

ride

first

we took was

like a roller coaster that slices

The

the water at the end of the ride.

room

pine logs and have

when

all

hadn't done in years.

started out great.

Log Flume, which

I

As we stood

through

cars resemble huge

for eight passengers.

was

I

the

a

little

in line,

my

and

kid,

sister

I

couldn't wait

and

I

agreed that

we would do our best to get seats in the front for the maximum thrill. The line advanced, and we got very excited when the ride attendant put up the chain barrier right in front of us.

When

the next car came,

we'd be

first in line

to

get the front seats.

"As soon

as he lets us through,"

"you run over and take the front

"Okay!" she

We

said,

watched carefully

splash,

and

delight.

It

which slowed

seat,

said to

my

sister,

okay?"

bouncing with anticipation.

and longest drop of the terror

I

as the next car

made

ride, the passengers

the steepest

screaming with

plunged into the water for the big it

down

so that

it

could drift up to

the dock.

The man kept

the chain

on

until all the people

were

out of the log car and off the platform. But as soon as he

unhooked

the chain, Jessica ran like crazy

the front seats in a second.

It

took

me

a

and made little

it

to

longer to

join her.

She shoved over and

I

stepped

in.

The car tipped

for-

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

116

ward, and the ride attendant rushed over to

waving

us,

his

arms.

Would you

"Sir! Sir!

He

ance."

heavy to

come

didn't

up

sit

"Okay,"

I

I

in,

my

stepped

and

belly,

about

me

I

was too

grateful for that.

in.

The car tipped

it. I

I

on

to the rear seats. She got

down

pulled

man

again, but the

first,

didn't

the restraining bar to hold

wheel of the Corolla,

like the steering

but

was

and say that

was too excited about the

it

dug

into

ride to get upset

it.

When that

I

the rear seats? For bal-

said.

seem upset by us

sit in

right out

and

front,

Jessica followed

then

please

the car

was

the safety bars were in place, the log car pulled

all

away from

the platform and the ride started.

slowed down the

anyone

and the 'attendant had checked

full

ride,

I

We

else did, either.

the water

didn't notice,

and

If I

my

weight

don't think

picked up speed, pulling out of

and zipping over the

rails,

making sharp dips and

turns that slid us from one side of the seat to the other. Jessica squealed

with delight.

"You having fun?" rushing into

my

"Yeah!" she I

drop,

my

was

as

splash.

getting close to the end

As we

Then we

Jessica

hit the

grabbed

at a sixty-degree angle,

raced along the tracks.

terrific! I felt free

—the steep drop

crested the last incline before the

stomach clenched and

we

air

said.

The car must have been

down

shouted over the noise and the

ears.

knew we were

and the big

I

and

fast

and

I

my

arm.

nose pointed

yelled. Jessica yelled. It

light as a feather.

water for the big splash. Water shot out

DON'T TELL ANYONE

117

from under the car and doused the people waiting

They shouted and "Hey!" I

knew

man

instantly that he

become

splash had I

yelled.

heard one

I

in line.

"Who

shout.

that

let

was talking about me. The big

the really big splash with

tried not to look at all the

guy on?"

wet

me on

board.

and sopping hair as

shirts

I

got off the car and took the stairs off the platform. I

down

looked

waiting for her to say some-

at Jessica,

thing, but she didn't say a word.

We

wandered out into the

park, searching for our next ride. "I

want

to

what looked

go on that one," Jessica

like a fairly

tame

bed attached to a six-story

ride.

She pointed

said.

A

at

car as big as a truck

steel pillar.

The

car gradually

climbed up to the top, then dropped, stopping short before it

ground.

hit the

really

It

didn't drop

wanted to go on, so

line for this ride

were on the "This

is

was

I

all

that fast, but Jessica

agreed to do that one next. The

short, so

car, getting into

it

our

wasn't long before

we

seats.

going to be good," Jessica said as she buckled

her seat belt. I

I

had no idea

was

just

why

happy

this ride

that she

appealed to her so much, but

was having

next to her and reached for the seat to side until

out

all

I

found

the way, but

tugged, thinking tried sucking in

it

Oh,

well,

I

it

took the seat

I

belt, shifting

from

side

my

and

let it

around

was too short

it

belly

for me.

I

was caught somewhere, but

my

inches or so to buckle

I

pulled

it. I

fun.

gut, but

I

still

pulled and it

wasn't.

I

needed another six

it.

thought,

dropped the ends and

I

don't need a seat belt for this ride.

let

them dangle under the

seat.

JAHED, THE SUBWAY GUY

Ill

"Can't

can't ride."

fit,

"Huh?" "Can't I

fit,

can't ride."

man with a face sandpaper voice. He was a

looked up, and there stood a skinny

prune and a scratchy

like a

more

grizzled version of Popeye.

"Can't this ride,

fit,

He was

can't ride," he repeated.

charge of

in

and he was checking to make sure everyone was

buckled up. I

was too short

some

for

that

it

me

me, hoping he'd understand and cut

slack.

But the rules were the

rules,

making exceptions. "Can't

He

and *he wasn't about to

fit,

start

can't ride!" he said, raising

he thought the problem was with

my

hear-

stood right in front of me, waiting for

me

to

his voice as ing.

show him

reeled in the ends of the seat belt to

if

do

something.

My

face

must have been ten shades of

dozen other people were on the start,

and they were

"Can't "I I

fit,

my

something wrong. all

right

staring at me.

About

a

waiting for the ride to I

wanted

to disappear.

can't—"

heard you,"

turned to

all

car,

red.

I

said.

sister.

She was frowning as

"It's all right, Jess,"

I

said.

if

she'd done

"Will you be

by yourself?"

She nodded,

still

frowning.

I

could

tell

she

felt

bad

for me. "I'll

wait for you by the ticket booth,"

"You sure?" she asked. "We don't have

I

said.

to

do

this ride."

DON'T TELL ANYONE

"No, I

it's fine. I'll

119

watch you."

hauled myself up and got off the

me

everyone's eyes on

swarm

like a

bombing me and leaving welts on back

until

heard the ride starting.

I

ride.

could

I

of mosquitoes dive-

my

skin.

didn't look

I

couldn't bear to

I

feel

make

eye contact with anyone who'd heard what that jerk had

me.

just said to

I

understood he was doing

didn't have to be so insensitive about

When

was

the ride

over, Jessica

his job,

but he

it.

found

me

at the ticket

booth. She didn't say anything about what Popeye had

but

said,

we

up, so

rides that

could

I

tell it

was on her mind.

didn't talk about

day and

it. I

didn't bring

I

it

decided not to try any more

risk further humiliation.

I

just

watched

Jessica.

We me

home

drove

late that

afternoon, and she looked at

with sad cow eyes the whole way.

road. I

I

didn't

want

to discuss

suppose she told

they didn't bring

it

my

I

my eyes

kept

on the

it.

parents about the incident, but

up, and

I

was

grateful for that. But

I

— "Can't don't think ever forget Popeye's grouchy voice can't ride" — and how much that hurt me. I'll

fit,

I

vowed

that day never to

go to an amusement park

again.

Popeye's voice was imprinted on

words haunted me

Subway

nately, there

mind, and

for years. I'd be lying

wasn't part of the reason started the

my

diet.

I

why

I

didn't

didn't even

tell

tell

if

his hurtful I

said that

anyone when

JL

I

at first. Fortu-

were so many part-time student employees

at

JARED. THE SUBWAY GUY

120

my Subway was up

to.

shop that none of them picked up on what

Except for one

I'm not sure

college-aged. She

who

first

a student or not, but she

was

and friendly with a smile that

petite

She worked the evening

just never quit.

ways the

was

girl.

was

she

if

shift

and was

al-

sandwich maker behind the counter, the one

took the bread order.

I

always came in

at

about the

same time, and we kind of got to know one another.

knew from

her

name

12-inch whole-wheat

walked

I

roll cut

I

name was Laura.

tag that her

when

Well, one night

in,

Laura already had a

open and ready for me.

"Veggie Delite," she said as

"No

I

walked up

I

to the counter.

cheese. Spicy mustard. Everything except tomatoes,

onions, and olives. Right?"

"You got

it,"

As she made mean,

really

I

said.

my

sandwich, she suddenly looked

looked

at

me. "Hey," she

said,

at

me,

"have you

I

lost

weight? You look like you have." I

just

shrugged. "I don't know."

But inside ally noticed.

I

was doing cartwheels. Someone had

My

Subway

diet must've

actu-

been working,

I

thought.

But lost

wasn't ready to hold a press conference.

some weight,

what I

I

I

had to

it

If

I

had

wasn't that much, not compared to

lose.

wasn't ready to say a

word

.

.

.

yet.

DON'T TELL ANYONE

121

Don't Tell Anyone

•

Don't

set yourself

up

for criticism that could dis-

courage you from achieving your goal. Don't

tell

anyone about your program for change. •

Motivation must come from within.

•

Keep your program start to see

some

will recognize.

for

results

change a secret

—

visible

until

you

proof that others

LESSON

8

See the Big Picture

There

is

much

such a thing as having too

With some

diets,

information.

people must spend a good deal of their

time counting calories and thing and that thing.

It's

fat

grams and carbs and

like trying to

tax return, except you have to do

it

fill

this

out your income

every single day.

Every year publishers bring out dozens of new diet books. They also publish books about diet books, critiques

and analyses of various

diets,

arguments for and against

them. Magazines run hundreds of

The

articles

specialty magazines publish articles

get audiences

— dieting

for

for busy executives, for

men, dieting

mommies,

about dieting.

aimed for

at their tar-

women,

hikers, for bodybuilders, for travelers. I've even seen

and

articles

Some

dieting

for kids, for teens, for

books

about dieting for pets!

diets require a daily weigh-in. Dieters often be-

SEE THE BIG PICTURE

come obsessed and

123

weighing themselves constantly,

start

clutching their hearts with anticipation as they wait for

bathroom

their

them the

scales to give

Have they

verdict.

been "good" or have they been "bad" that day? Have they have they gained?

lost or

If

they discover that they're up a

pound or two, they might go

into a tailspin of depression.

(And we know where that can But

this

is

all

too

much

you reach your goal. In

fact,

lead.)

information. it

can get

in

does not help

It

your way and

trip

you up.

You do not have

to be a crime-scene investigator

make

you're trying to

a big change in your

life.

when

You do not

need to delve into the microscopic details of your situation. Achieving the big goal facts.

As

is

not about compiling loads of tiny

the saying goes, concentrate

on the

forest,

not the

individual trees. Dieters should put their

bathroom

scales in the closet

and forget about them while they're trying to lose weight. Instead, trust your clothes.

They

will tell

you much more

about the reality of your condition than the scale already I

know how your

realized that

more, I

I

knew

didn't

I

and when

didn't have to struggle to button

them any-

fit. I

was making progress.

sandwich

and baggy pants.

losing weight

You

certainly did,

jeans

buy any new clothes

my Subway shirts

I

will.

diet. It

few months of

liked the feeling of

I

was

in the first

roomy

positive feedback that

I

was

and a constant reminder to keep up the good

work. Plus, loose-fitting clothing generally makes a person look slimmer. I'm not vain, but

I

must admit

I

checked my-

JAHED, THE SUBWAY GUY

124

self

was

out in the mirror from time to time, and even though still

very overweight,

What I saw was me on I

finally did

ered that

I

had gone from

4XL.

Just

Still

knowing

buy myself some new

pup-tent

size

sizes,

6XL

but

were

that there

me with glee. When a person is

wasn't repulsed by what

saw.

I

the road to success.

When to

I

I

I

shirts,

discov-

I

make)

(the biggest they

was absolutely

sizes bigger

thrilled.

than what

I

wore

filled

her ing

life, it's

trying to

natural to

make

thoughts

all

in his or

occupies your

It

life.

the time. So, of course, you

nals that you're

change

become impatient. What you're do-

the biggest thing in your

is

a big

want

signs

making progress. You want

and

to

sig-

know

minute-by-minute that you're doing the right thing. Collecting information

is

selves feel that they're

But as

I've said,

way most people make them-

the

moving

in the right direction.

having too much information can lead to

discouragement, and discouragement can lead to quitting.

A

smoker determined

know

the exact

amount of

day. She needs to

flight of steps

A

nicotine she's not getting every

know how

smoking. After the feel better? Is

to kick the habit does not need to

initial

she feels

now

that she's not

withdrawal symptoms, does she

she breathing easier?

Can

she walk

up a

without gasping for breath?

shopaholic does not need to check his bank account

balance every day to see

how much

Better to wait a couple of

money

in the

account

now

he

months and

is

or isn't spending.

see

if

he has more

that he's been curbing his buy-

ing habits.

A

parent having problems with his teenage son doesn't

SEE IHE BI6 PICTURE

125

need to read every teen psychology book on the market and second-guess the therapist he and his son are seeing. Better to follow the therapist's advice, give

time, and then look

it

at the teenager's face. If things are getting better,

And

register in his expression.

he'll

will

it

probably see progress

in his parent's face, too.

Remember, what matters gress,

how

it's

steadily

is

how

not

fast

you progress. Fast

you pro-

starts lead to

quick burnouts, but steady progress leads to permanent change. Ignorance benefits.

may

or

may

not be

bliss,

does have

its

confusing, and

if

but

Knowing too much can be

it

you're not getting the information you want to hear, stop you cold.

When

I

started losing weight,

I

it

can

deliberately

kept myself in the dark about some things.

One morning

a couple of

Subway sandwich

diet,

ing for JL to leave.

I

I

months

hung around

knew

after

listening to

him

my

the apartment, wait-

his schedule, so

leaving for his biochemistry class soon.

room,

started

I

I

I

knew

he'd be

sat in the living

get ready for the day in his room.

I

was perusing that morning's sports section of the newspaper.

The

table. I

rest of the

The

knife

later

pack over

JL charged out of

his shoulder.

when

a mission. I

was under the business

section.

could hear JL rummaging around in his room.

moments

even

paper was spread out on the coffee

he walked. I

kept

wasn't reading

my it. I

JL had a

He

his

room with

decisive

his

A

few

back-

way about him,

always moved liked a

man

with

eyes on the sports section even though

forced myself not to look

sections of newspaper

on the coffee

table.

down

at the

JARE

126

"Okay, I'm going to doorknob. "See you "Yeah, see you

He walked come back. something figure

to get

went

it

,

THE

SUBWAY GUY

class,"

JL said

as he reached for the

later."

later."

out and shut the door behind him.

and stayed very

sat there

I

D

knew what he was

I

—a book,

waiting to see

still,

like.

If

if

he'd

he'd forgotten

a pen, his sunglasses, whatever

— he'd

out right away and shoot back into the apartment

it. I

waited a

to the front

minute, then got up off the sofa and

full

window.

spotted JL on the other side of

I

the street, marching across the

campus

He won't

thought.

It's safe, I

to his class.

be back. Even

if

he's for-

gotten something, he won't risk being late for biochem.

That was

his hardest class this semester.

tossed the sports section onto the couch and reached

I

down under denly

I

the business section to get the knife. But sud-

stopped myself and listened for footsteps. Just

in

case.

All

I

outside

could hear was the sound of someone's car radio

on the

street.

The pounding

bass of heavy metal.

Metallica, maybe. I

picked up the business section, and there

black-handled steak knife, the sharpest one apartment. steps. It I

stared at

I

was

it,

still

it

was, the

we had

in the

listening intently for foot-

quiet, except for that car radio in the distance.

gathered up the newspaper sections and put them back

together, then folded

them

in half.

I

sat

down on

the edge

of the couch and positioned the newspaper in front of

on the coffee

table.

steps, but there

I

stopped and

was nothing

me

listened again for foot-

to hear.

The

car with the loud

SEE THE BI6 PICTURE

moved

radio must have

on,

I

127

The apartment was

thought.

eerily silent.

my

took a deep breath, leaned back, and undid

I

buckle.

I

pulled the belt out of

My

the coffee table.

hoped

I

my

pants and tossed

heart started beating a

wouldn't mess

it

belt

onto

little faster. I

this up.

picked up the knife. Sunlight coming through the win-

I

dow

glinted off the blade.

hoped

I

it

was sharp enough.

my

leaned forward and put the end of

I

on top of

belt

considered what

the folded newspaper.

Holding

needed to be done.

took a deep breath and raised the

knife, gripping

Do

it, I

in

my

my

do

I

and decided that

good

put

I

down

through

felt

around

get

it

it, I

get

My I

spot.

scale.

clothes

had done

I

leaned into the knife

I

the hole bigger.

when

I

I

had

didn't

were

it

finally

lost

want

fitting

v/as losing weight,

really

It

took a

went

in,

I

little

was

some weight, but to

more

and

loosely,

I

I

force to

ecstatic.

I

that's all it

I

new

hole in

didn't dare I

weighed.

which indicated

that

needed to know.

My

had gotten to the point

had to do something about

putting off cutting a

I

know how much

pants had been falling down, and I

what

at

could have started singing.

I

suspected that

where

down

the knife, stood up, and started looping the

through, but

on a

stared

started to buckle the belt.

was so happy I

it.

my jeans. Now my heart was beating harder. for the new hole with my index finger. When

belt

found

I'd hit a

making

it,

I

and brought the blade down, stab-

grip

bing through the leather.

and twisted

steady,

fist.

told myself. Just

tightened

I

it

I

it

my

it,

but

I

belt myself.

had been

The

belt

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

128

was pretty worn. have to go buy a

If

messed up and ruined the

I

new

one, and

hated shopping for clothes,

I

even something as simple as a

belt, I'd

belt.

But

wouldn't have to

I

do that now. Of course, that wasn't the reason for the credible joy

proof.

was

feeling.

had actually

I

Subway

I

diet

far as

I

in

now had

and

lost weight,

few inches

lost a

my

I

The

waist.

was working!

But there was no way

As

had

I

in-

was concerned,

this diet, the point

was getting on

I

when

I

was

still

Not

a scale.

yet.

in the initial stages of

usually crashed and burned.

I

I

wasn't willing to risk being disappointed again. That

would be too I

blew

for

it

devastating.

might never

I

try dieting again

this time. Better to stay in the dark,

felt.

I

if

At

least

diet

and

now. I

quietly continued with

didn't

tell

a soul about

it.

my Subway

As

sandwich

weeks went

the

by,

spring weather in Bloomington turned warmer, that something

were

fitting

was happening

in the thighs

were starting to

of extra material under

was

I

my

But

I

I

baggy.

Maybe I

all

I

could

not so

feel folds

my

much

back. physi-

was making progress,

had with any other

diet

I

had ever

that felt good.

was not going

to get

on

a scale.

know exactly how much I had lost. What if I hadn't lost as much as was

old clothes

belt at the small of

feeling better, too.

more progress than

And

My

tell

Pants that had been snug

feel

cally but certainly emotionally.

tried.

body.

could

even more loosely. Shirts that had been tight

my chest were roomy now.

across

And

my

to

I

and the

"water weight" and not

I

fat? I'd

I

did not want to

thought?

heard a

What lot

if it

of over-

SEE THE BIG PICTURE

weight people talk about

how

easy

129

was to

it

pounds,

mind

fat

much

is

probably had a

I

harder, they

lot

"water

all said.

At 425

the case, I'd be disappointed, so

keep doing what

just

it's

of water in me, but in

losing water didn't really count. I

If

knew

I

chose not to

this

was

was doing.

I

problem was not going to help me suspected that

I

my

know and

Having too much information and micromanaging

In fact,

at

all

the beginning of a diet because initially

weight." Losing

weight

lose

would do

it

weight any

lose

my

faster.

just the opposite. If

I

got on a scale every morning and didn't see pounds melting off at a regular pace, ally stop dieting.

would

would

I

buffet pig-out or a

I

Meat

self.

Lover's pizza midnight snack or a

and

special,

clothes

Keep going. One meal

had been giving me a

end of the semester I

had

at first.

I

wondered

if I

I felt.

my

stopped noticing

I

I

told

wondered

hanging on.

rule

and weigh myself,

me

had

But by the

loose clothes the hit that

if

maybe

I

"water fat

should break

just to get a positive

was

my

boost to keep

going.

But I

I

my-

at a time.

weight" wall. The water had disappeared, but the still

surely

of positive feed-

lot

back, and that was enough information,

way

would

I

to temptation. Better to stay ignorant,

Just stay the course.

My

and eventu-

about a Chinese

start thinking

Lumberjack Slam breakfast

succumb

get discouraged

I

resisted that urge.

I

knew

that

it

was

crucial that

know what

I

received a totally unexpected boost.

I

not get discouraged. But

I

was

torn.

I

didn't

should do.

Then one night

I

was slumped down on the couch with

my

bare feet up on

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

130

the coffee table, watching television.

The weather had turned

unseasonably warm, and

I

member what show I was

watching, but

came on,

cials

I

was wearing

happened to look

suddenly noticed something.

I

The swelling had disappeared,

kles as they

were

ankle the

at the

wanted

abetes,

way

my

that

my

I

endocri-

and took a good look

whoop and

to

But

now

holler

at

they were tapered be.

was so happy.

I

My

might not have to worry about

I

thought. That would be

I

I'd

terrific.

was so

I

been watching.

I

di-

elated,

I

just stared

ankles, admiring them.

But

mean

was

I

still

cautious.

conclusively that

was concerned. was

messages, but

I

had mistaken

me

It

ankles, and

had ankles again!

were supposed to

legs

missed the end of the show

betes

commer-

the sign of developing dia-

legs

at the calves.

was improving.

health

at

the

My legs used to look like logs, just as wide at the an-

them.

I

my

up and uncrossed

sat

don't re-

was gone!

betes. It I

my

edema

the

warned me about,

nologist had

when

at

actually

I

shorts.

was around

for

loss of swelling did

was out of woods

I

my

Yes,

still

The

Brad

as far as dia-

body was giving me

the big fat Pitt yet.

guy on campus. But

finally

the time of midterms,

not

positive

No

one

JL noticed.

and we were both

studying hard. JL usually studied at his desk in his bed-

room.

I

was too big

for a small desk, so

out at the kitchen table.

from

my

I

usually spread

was reading through

my

notes

international-business class, highlighting the im-

portant stuff with a yellow marker,

went

I

when JL walked

in

and

to the fridge for a glass of orange juice.

As he sipped

his juice, he rolled his

head around and ro-

SEE 1HE BI6 PICTURE

He was

tated his shoulders.

131

a complete exercise fanatic,

and he was always stretching something. He

just couldn't

sit still.

Now

one thing you have to understand about JL

he's a real nose-to-the-grindstone kind of guy.

of fun, but

lot

when

he does.

that's all

notice.

He

he's studying, he's in the

When

be a hundred naked

nose

his

is

that

can be a

zone and

book, there could

in a

apartment and he wouldn't

girls in the

But he did notice something different about me. put his glass on the counter and went over to the

doorway.

bending

He

reached up and clung to the

"Huh?" That took me by "You look

like

of the frame,

said.

I

"Maybe

a

little

weight?"

surprise.

you've lost some weight," he said.

was embarrassed but

guess so,"

lip

knees and doing a dead hang to stretch out his

his

back. "Dude," he said, "have you lost a

I

He

is

"Maybe

little

also a a

"Yeah,

little flattered.

I

little."

more than

a little," he said.

"What've

you been doing? Another diet?" figured

I

me

he'd bug

become

knew

had to

I

probably

if I

hound me

up now. JL was

persistent,

and

an answer. His career goal was to

until he got

a doctor, so

he'd

'fess

lied

and said

I

wasn't dieting,

to get a checkup, thinking

I

I

was

sick.

"You're gonna think this

is

said,

"but

sandwich

diet.

crazy,"

I

I

figured

out a diet for myself."

"Oh, yeah? So what're you doing?" I

told

him

all

about

my Subway

His face collapsed as

me

as

if

I'd lost

my

I

mind.

started explaining.

He looked

at

JARED, 1HE SUBWAY GUY

132

I

quickly gave

him

he was a

little less

"Well,

if it's

my two

"Yeah,

"So I

it

figures about the fat

sandwiches, and suddenly

skeptical.

working

"And from what

said.

and

the facts

and calorie content of

I

man,

for you,

can

see,

definitely

it's

he

that's terrific,"

working."

seems to be."

how much

have you lost?"

shrugged. "Beats me."

"You haven't weighed yourself?" "Nope." "You're not curious?"

"Yeah,

I

am, but I'm not ready

for that."

"How come?" "Well,

if I

find out I've only lost a

little, I'll

be disap-

pointed. I'd rather wait and get a big surprise."

JL looked

a

puzzled.

little

He was

and

into science

medicine, and in his lab classes he was always looking for empirical evidence. "I guess feel,"

He

I

can understand

how you

he said, but he sounded doubtful. let

go of the door frame and stood up

know," he

said, "I

straight.

"You

thought there was something going on

with you."

"What do you mean?" "I noticed in

the other day, but

your eyes. You look

That made a

it

change

in

me

feel

—

I

don't

good.

I

I

didn't say anything.

know

It's

—happier."

was glad

that he

had noticed

me.

JL leaned against the wall and stretched you want me to throw out chips and stuff so

it's

my

his legs.

"So do

junk food? Get rid of the

not in the house?"

SEE IHE BIG PICTURE

"No,

that's okay,"

"I'm learning

said.

I

133

how

to resist

temptation."

"You sure?

I'll

do

it."

"There's junk food everywhere you look," can't avoid

Mickey D's and Taco what

I

who

I'm the one

it.

and

Bell

JL went back

"You sure you don't want "I'm sure,"

I

know

to the counter for his juice.

though?"

his

room, and

I

went back

my

on

smile

little

my notes.

to

face as

Something good was happening to me.

studied.

I

I

just

it.

was more than

hadn't been

a

home

March, and here weight, but

on

those places. You

all

to get weighed,

But there must have been a

was.

to drive by

said.

JL went back to

I

how

"You

said.

mean?"

"I hear you."

knew

has to learn

I

I

I

little

a scale as

didn't

my

amount

—

I

I still

My

saw me.

wasn't sure

actually weighed.

say,

how

or

I

If

around 50 pounds

I

clothes I

had

lost

noticeable

family was going to want

as they

I

house since the middle of

know how much

ping around me, but

how much

the semester ended.

was, the beginning of June.

it

soon

when

my parents'

to

had a feeling

nervous

me

to get

were

wanted

to

it

flap-

know

hadn't lost a significant

—

I

knew

I

was going

to

be depressed.

My walked

brother, in the

Adam, was

door

in the

he was impressed in his

He was sprawled on

the only one

home when

I

middle of the afternoon, and even

own

ultracool way.

the couch in the living

ping through a magazine. "Hey," he said.

room,

flip-

JARED. THE SUBWAY GUY

134

"Hey." I set down my duffel bag in the hallway. He looked up from his magazine and gave me a funny look.

"You look

different," he said.

"You

we

big campus, and

when we were his buddies.

"I

there.

didn't see that

He'd gotten

had driven home

I

might have

lost a

few pounds,"

out to the car to carry

more

into a discussion about

it

my mother got I

didn't

I

had

want

stuff in.

with him.

I

go over the same

to

is

a

of each other

home with one

of

Corolla by myself. said

I

I

and went back

didn't

knew

want

territory

to get

that as soon as

home, there'd be no avoiding the

topic,

and

more times than

to.

When I came in his

back into the house,

called as she

knew

I

later

came

was

my

in.

there.

"In the basement,"

We met on the as she

Adam was

engrossed

magazine and didn't pay any attention to me.

A little while she

in the

IU

college,

much

a ride

weight?"

lose

Even though we both went to the same

saw me.

I

mother came home. "Jared?" she

She'd seen the car in the driveway so

"Where I

yelled

staircase,

was

are you?"

from downstairs.

and her mouth

afraid she'd faint

fell

open

as

soon

and tumble down the

stairs.

"Oh,

my God! Jared,

look at you!" she said. She was sur-

prised and delighted to see the change in me.

"Oh, Jared!"

Tears welled in her eyes. Later that evening

bushed him

when my

home, she am-

in the front hallway.

"Norman, you have excitedly. "He's in his "Is

father got

to take a look at Jared," she said

room."

something wrong?" he

said.

SEE THE BIG PICTURE

"Just

go look

"Jared?"

my room

my

at

135

him."

father called out as he

where

was

I

up

setting

came up

my

the stairs to

When

computer.

he

got to the doorway, he stopped in his tracks. His eyes

widened, and his expression gradually blossomed into a big smile. "Jared,

you

shrugged. "Yeah

I

"More than

stuff."

I

gram

want

instinct

private.

.

.

you

.

to

was

was

I

dunno.

"I

tell

to

my

wouldn't that

if I

you've lost weight."

a little."

my

diet or

know

I

about

didn't get

I

"How

did you do it?"

stopped eating bad

just

family about

my

weight of

my

I

his

medical degree.

had a dilemma. Either

It

with

my

wasn't a choice,

I

stuck

family so they really.

I

knew

Veggie Delite sandwich for dinner,

wagon.

I'd risk falling off the

my proand my fa-

father's questioning for a while,

ate dinner

it.

sandwich

details of

afraid they'd disapprove,

to evade

my Subway

.

keep the

still

when dinnertime came,

but to

managed

.

maybe

ther's disapproval carried the I

.

just a little," he said.

didn't

My

diet.

.

.

shrugged again.

I

.

I'd

gotten used to not hav-

ing other food and hadn't tasted fatty flavors for three

months. Eating kindle

my

my

home cooking could

mother's

desire for all the foods that

re-

had gotten me into

trouble. I

I

stayed in

my room

and

hoped to avoid the dinner "Jared,"

lay

on

my

bed, reading a book.

issue for as long as

my mother called

up the

I

could.

staircase, "dinner will

be ready in about half an hour." "That's okay,

Mom.

I'm not hungry,"

I

called back.

"I'm making meatloaf, corn, and mashed potatoes. Meatloaf

is

one of your favorites."

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

136

"I

had a

really big lunch,"

said.

I

"I'm not that hungry."

"You're not hungry?" she asked in disbelief.

been not hungry since

I

was

He

my

says he doesn't

Two seconds later my Tom Cruise in his sweat

hadn't

seven.

She immediately yelled to not hungry.

I

father, "Jared says he's

want dinner."

brother

my doorway

slid into

like

socks in Risky Business. "You're

not hungry?" he said with a big goofy grin on his face. "You're not hungry? You're always hungry."

My

room, followed by believe that

I

my father and

wasn't hungry.

stared at them. Should I

I

my

mother shouldered past him and came into

sat

I

tell

I

this diet.

laid the

None

of them could

book on

them or not?

up and put the book

have been on

sister.

I

my chest and

wondered.

aside. "Well, to tell the truth,

But

kind of a different kind of

it's

diet."

"Oh?" my Yikes,

I

father said.

said to myself. This wasn't going to be easy to

explain. But

I

did explain

all

it,

of

it. I

even showed them a

copy of the Subway pamphlet to support Like JL, they ents'

all

looked

at

brows slanted back so

Jessica

me

as

argument.

crazy.

My par-

were almost

vertical.

if I

far they

my

were

seemed confused. Adam, on the other hand, saw an

opportunity.

"Obviously Jared has

committed to a loony

lost it,"

bin,

I

think

he said. "If he has to be I

should get the car

full-

time."

My father glared

at

He

at the floor. "Sorry,"

looked

down

him. "That's not funny, Adam." he said.

SEE 1HE BIG PICTURE

more

After a lot

my

not out of

what

discussion,

mind, that

was doing, and

I

I

I

137

convinced them that

had put a

that

it

lot

I

was

of thought into

obviously seemed to be

working. "Well, then

go down to

let's

my

find out for sure,"

office right

This was just what

upped the

"We

to do, but

Subway out on

at the

being supportive; they

his smart-ass

way was

"Okay, but

We

you weighed."

get

the

your dinner sandwich," he

for

He was

"Of

want

didn't

I

father said. "Let's

Dad

quickly

ante.

can stop

way back

now and

my

just the

all

us,"

I

said.

were. Even

pulling for me. So

two of

highway on the

I

Adam

in

couldn't refuse.

my

said to

dad.

course," he said. "You don't need an audience."

left

right away,

we'd be back Delite with

my

in time for dinner

me

so that

I

my

father promising

and

I'd

mother that

have

could eat with them.

my

My

Veggie father

drove us in his car, and he tried to keep the conversation could

that he

was hopeful

upbeat.

I

stantial

amount of weight. He knew how heavy

when

that I'd lost a subI'd

been

I'd seen the endocrinologist.

But frankly lost

tell

I

was nervous.

worried that

I

only a moderate amount and that he'd

water weight.

I

worried about his

only went up to 350 pounds. the counterweights

all

the

way

staying in the upper position,

tell

scale, too.

I

me

it

knew

out I'd

was

all

that

it

my

father pushing

to the right

and the needle

imagined

I

I'd find

which meant

back to the endocrinologist to use

his scale.

gering bad memories about that experience.

I'd

have to go

I still

had

lin-

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

138

But there was no way out now, and

come up with

curious. I'd

was

crazy.

It

was time

I

have to admit

this diet that

to find out

if it

I

was

everyone thought

really

worked.

When we got to his office, my dad flipped on the lights, and we went directly to the examining room, where the scale was. I had butterflies in my stomach as I stepped on the scale, but

wasn't as bad as that

it

docrinologist's office, the day

pounds.

knew

I

heavy was

My sliding

I

found out

I

time at the enI

weighed 425

wasn't that heavy anymore. But

to the right.

Unlike the

300

..

.

350

..

.

My

heart

moving

200

last time,

I

.

.

250

.

my

kept

was ready

the larger counterweight, .

.

.

eyes open.

to sink

when something hap-

pened. The needle pointed down. There was too

weight on the bar to make

was

.

.

my

heart was pounding as

counterweight and brought

went

balance.

it

much

Which meant

I

under 350!

.

My

how

I?

father started it

last

into the

up

position.

it

He

dad moved the large

back to 300. The needle started pushing the smaller

weight across the bar. 5 ...

10..

.

15

..

.20. ..25. ..30... 35...

The needle pointed down

He nudged

again.

the smaller weight back until the needle it

with laser

father said. "You've lost

94 pounds

hovered in the middle position.

beam

eyes.

"Oh, in three

I

stared at

31.1 weighed 331 pounds.

my God," my months?

I

can't believe it."

SEE THE BIG PICTURE

"I can't either," register

My

an emotion

dad gripped

You're doing It

I

it!"

said blankly.

my

shoulders. "Jared, you're doing

He was

it

to sink in, but as

My diet was working.

I

He was was

right.

I

it

did,

was

Too much information can be

losing weight!

you're trying to

make

Watching over every

a bad thing

little

•

and

quitting.

Trust your instincts. Gauge your progress by

you It's

feel,

not

life.

your situation can

detail of

lead to discouragement, depression, •

when

a big change in your

how

not by the numbers.

how

fast

you progress;

it's

how

steadily

my

finally

See the Big Picture

•

it!

so happy he had tears in his eyes.

smile stretched wider and wider. it.

was so stunned I couldn't

yet.

took a few moments for

doing

I

139

you

progress. Fast starts lead to quick burnouts, but

steady improvement leads to permanent change.

LESSON

9

Throw Out Conventional Wisdom

Conventional wisdom lose

tells

us that a person cannot hope to

weight without exercise. Changing your diet alone

not enough, we're told. You have to burn

is

fat to lose fat.

Scientifically that's absolutely correct. Calories that enter the

body

as fat.

However, your body

as

food have to be used or is

else they're stored

neither a furnace nor a sci-

ence experiment. You have a brain. You have emotions.

You have

feelings, inklings,

and

intuition.

I

believe that

sometimes these unquantifiable aspects of your personality can override what some would say I

cise.

ing

lost nearly

proven

100 pounds without doing

(Unless you consider carrying

moment

is

exercise.)

think

I

if I

scientific fact.

a lick of exer-

425 pounds every wakhad

tried to exercise

would have become discouraged and stopped would never have

much

lost the

additional weight

I

weight, and

dieting.

I I

who knows how

would have gained.

THROW OUT CONVENTIONAL WISDOM

141

Exercise had always been frustrating and embarrassing

Having had

for me.

periences,

I

to endure years of awful gym-class ex-

automatically associated exercise with personal

incompetence and humiliation. Exercising during the tial

stages of

for

me If

a

my

diet

a negative incentive

to continue to diet.

program

for

change

and discomfort,

fice,

would have been

ini-

it's

manage

to tough

won't maintain

it it

it.

nothing but drudgery,

doomed

automatically

you can't reach a comfort you won't follow

is

level

to

sacri-

fail. If

with your program, then

for very long.

And

if

you do somehow

out and reach your goal, you probably

Look

ton of weight, then gain

at all the it

all

people

who

diet, lose a

back.

Supposedly knowledgeable people spout conventional

wisdom and

insist that

an alcoholic can never come to grips

with his or her problem without submitting to a twelvestep

program,

like

Alcoholics

Anonymous. But some people

with drinking problems chafe

AA, and

as a result eventually stop attending meetings.

has helped a great

There are all

at the religious aspects

all

many

people, but

it's

of

AA

not for everyone.

kinds of conventional-wisdom solutions for

kinds of problems. Psychotherapy for emotional prob-

lems. Mood-altering pharmaceuticals, like Prozac, for acute

emotional problems. Nicotine

gum and

antidepressants like

Wellbutrin for smokers. Ritalin and Adderall for attention disorders. Relationship gurus appear

deficit

on

shows every day claiming to have the solution

TV

talk

for marital

problems, and some of their advice has become repeated so often

it

has become accepted, conventional wisdom.

But remember, what

we

generally consider conventional

M2

JARED. THE SUBWAY GUY

wisdom

started out as something put together for

consumption. But you're not

am

None

I.

everyone else and neither

like

made on an assembly

of us were

mass

line in a fac-

tory.

So what works for one person will not necessarily

work

for you.

The program for change that will work for

you must come from you.

must be

tailored to

situation. Trying to

your

life

Even

if

is

fit

must make sense

It

to you. It

your needs, goals, and individual

make someone

else's

program

wear someone

like trying to

you wear the same

fit

into

else's clothes.

might not

feel

couldn't even think about exercising.

My

they

size,

still

right.

At

my

heaviest

back hurt

all

I

the time,

and

my

and ached. Nearly everything Just staying

with.

I

Of

my Subway

on

course,

did was a physical ordeal.

I

diet

was enough

to contend

wasn't inclined to exercise, either.

I

difficult experiences

cise, sports,

and gym

class,

tried to avoid phys. ed.

public, so

was

I

room

in

Some of

growing up involved exer-

and the bigger

got, the

I

dreaded taking off

you can imagine how

boys' locker I

creaked

couldn't handle anything else at that point.

my most

time

joints constantly

I

felt

I

shirt in

about going into the

my gym

to change into

my

more

clothes.

By the

high school, the experience became a twice-

a-week recurring nightmare for me. I

wasn't thrilled about being seen in shorts and a T-shirt,

either. It

put too

gled, wiggled, fitting T-shirt

much

of

my body on

and flopped when it

I

display.

My flesh jig-

moved, and

in a tight-

was absolutely humiliating.

And what made

it

even worse were the

girls

looking at

THROW OUT CONVENTIONAL WISDOM

me.

My

high-school

enough being Boys can be

Some

gym

were coed.

classes

It

my experience girls can

cruel, but in

my

was bad

by them was agony.

seen, but being seen

of the ones in

143

be savage.

school were absolutely heartless

with their dismissive looks, their laughing, and their snarky comments. They were like swarms of

killer bees.

we would have to take the President's Physical Fitness Test. The gym teachers would tell us it was coming up and make us do practice tests to get ready for Every year

the real test. Usually

most of the prep.

could hang back in class and avoid

I

but

activities,

couldn't get out of the test

I

was mandatory. Even though

It

ous that

I

it

was painfully obvi-

— climbing— my

couldn't do any of the items on the

chin-ups, push-ups, sprinting, rope

teacher said

I

had to

"baseline score"

at least try.

on everyone

improved when we took the

He

said he

to determine

take

it,

you would

summer

fail

gym.

school because

I

I

didn't

if

want

sit-ups,

had to get

a

was required

you refused to

to have to

gym. Remedial gym

failed

gym

how much we

test for real. It

by the school board, he explained, and

list

go to

—how

lame would that be?

As the day of the

came

pre-test

oped an ulcer worrying about imagining

it.

I'd

be up

all

it.

closer, I'd get

I

nearly devel-

nauseous

just

night, thinking of every conceiv-

able nightmare scenario. I'd get hurt. I'd fall

down and wouldn't

The gym teacher would do things

I

be able to get up.

yell

and scream and force

me

to

just couldn't do.

The other boys would

jeer

and make nasty comments.

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

144

Worst of

them

my

in

situation

all,

would laugh.

the killer-bee girls

No

mind.

matter what horribly embarrassing

came up with, they were always

I

hear

I'd

there, laugh-

ing at me. I

remember

the

even worse than

A

time

I

had to do that

was

had imagined.

gym where my gym

tested alone. Everyone

had to play basketball

else in class

One by one

called.

would be conducting

teacher

Each student would be

the tests.

the

gym

until his or her

took about

minutes, but 'for

five

name

teacher called out names,

and students went over to the mat to be test

pre-test. It

royal-blue exercise mat had been dragged to a corner

of the

was

I

first

tested.

me

The whole

would be an

it

stood under one of the baskets, petrified that

eternity.

I

he'd call

my

name.

JL and a couple of other guys were shooting hoops, and I

was

retrieving the shots that

through, tossing them

fell

back out to the perimeter. But except for JL, these guys didn't shoot very well, so ing.

I

wasn't paying

much

preoccupied with the

who was

mat, seeing

I

didn't have to

attention anyway.

test, stealing

I

retriev-

was

totally

glances over at the blue

being tested and

was doing. Even the spazzes seemed I

do much

how well

that person

to be doing better than

ever could. I

watched closely

as

one of the nerdiest kids

in school

He was gawky and always seemed to be tripsomething. He hardly had any muscle on his

did sit-ups.

ping over

bones

at all,

and

his

was

the worst case of acne in the

whole school. But he was doing other.

I

was

totally

it!

One

sit-up after an-

astounded and envious as

hell.

I

mean,

I

— THROW OUT CONVENTIONAL WISDOM

145

could barely bend over and

tie

my

There was no way

lie

down and do

I

could

shoes sitting in a chair. a sit-up, not

even one.

The gym teacher held

when

kid

do

to stop. Like everyone else, he had one minute to

many

as

sit-ups as he could.

The nerd

flipped onto his belly

Once again he

ups.

but he was doing

One

started.

and told the nerdy

a stopwatch

.

.

surprised me. His form wasn't pretty, started counting as soon as he

I

it.

two

.

and started doing push-

.

.

three

.

.

.

.

four

.

.

.

His skinny arms trembled, but he kept going. Five

.

.

.

six

.

.

.

seven

.

.

.

His face was dark red, and his whole body shook, but he didn't quit.

couldn't take

I

my

eyes off him.

I

could

never do that.

kept counting,

I

nine

.

.

.

ten

.

.

.

my

eyes

glued to him.

Eight

.

.

.

eleven

"Oooow!" The basketball

hit

me

in the head.

ing

away from me, heading

my

scalp.

"Hey!"

I

JL stood

shouted.

"Who

I

watched

for the bleachers as

it

bounc-

I

rubbed

did that?"

at the foul line

with his hands on his hips.

"You're supposed to be paying attention, Jared," he said. "That's no reason to hit "I didn't

do

it

me

with the ball."

on purpose," he

said. "I

made

a basket.

You're supposed to be returning shots." "Well, up.

I

was,"

I

I—" "Fogle, Jared!"

said.

"You could have given me a heads-

JARED.1HE SUBWAY GUY

146

froze.

I

My

blood turned to

gym

"Next! Fogle, Jared. " The It

my

was

All of a

teacher was calling for

JL

said.

"He's calling you."

sudden the gym was

quiet.

No

me

or deliberately not looking at me.

ing slowly toward the blue mat.

of course this

one was talking.

was

basketballs were bouncing. Everyone

ing at

suddenly

I

turn to take the pre-test.

"Jared, go,"

No

and

throwing up.

felt like

me.

ice water,

if I

I

could actually run,

either look-

started walk-

I

wanted to run away, but I

wouldn't have been

in

predicament.

The jocks smirked

as

I

passed.

buzzed to one another as they stared eyes.

The

The

killer-bee girls

me

at

with predator

situation couldn't have been any worse.

"Come

gym

on, hurry up," the

teacher shouted. "Let's

go." I

walked

"The

as fast as

rest

the class. "I

my

stiff legs let

me.

of you get back to your games," he shouted to

want

to see

some

hustle, or else

start

I'll

mark-

ing off."

As

me.

"Come

held a clipboard, a pen, and his stopwatch.

He had

I

walked up to the blue mat, he smiled

on, Jared. Let's give

He

it

a shot."

never been one of those

kind of liked him. But

at

I

mean gym would have

teachers,

liked

and

him

I

actually

better

if

he'd

taught anything other than gym. Tall and well-built, he

coached the basketball,

was probably

tennis,

and golf teams.

I

guessed he

in his early forties.

"Let's start with

some chin-ups," he

said,

toward the chin-up bar bolted to the wall.

walking over

THROW OUT CONVENTIONAL WISDOM

He

me to

expected

there'd be a fire

He

follow him, but

I

147

didn't move.

Maybe

thought. That would be perfect.

drill, I

turned around and looked

at

"Come

me.

on, Jared.

Let's go. I've got a lot of people to test today."

nodded and headed toward the chin-up

I

bar.

It

was

about seven feet above the ground, and a folding chair had

been

set

high.

I

up nearby

was over

six feet tall, but there

jump up even 12 But

couldn't

jump

was no way

I

that

could

inches and grab that bar.

somehow

did

if I

who

for the kids

get

up

there,

would

the bar even

hold me? Professional basketball players get cheers and standing ovations whenever they shatter the backboard going for a slam dunk.

fat,

to tear the chin-up bar

It

my

gers around girls

wasn't a legacy

I

leave.

stood under the bar and looked up

stood on

The kid who was

legend.

he wrecked the chin-up bar.

wanted to I

managed

become a school

off the wall, I'd

so

If I

toes,

it. I

reached up,

and was able to get the ends of

Over

it.

at

my shoulder I could hear the

my

fin-

killer-bee

snickering at me.

"I can't

do

this,"

I

said.

"Try." "I can't."

He

gave

me

a sympathetic look. "I understand your

uation, Jared, and

if

you don't

you don't do a

okay. But

if

a refusal,

and a refusal

to the principal, I

for a

nodded.

It

try, is

and you

my

single chin-up, that's

I'm going to have to mark that as a failure.

I'll

know what

meant detention and

meeting about

sit-

behavior.

I

also have to report

that

calling in

didn't

it

means?"

want

my

parents

that.

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

148

"Okay, I

bent

try,"

I'll

my

gers

The

my

I

I

my

got

my

effort.

fingers all

couldn't hang on.

I

landed on

My

fin-

pain shooting

feet,

bees tittered and buzzed behind me.

do it—"

"Use the chair," he

The chair looked enough

had to do was make an

knees.

killer

"I can't

the bar, but

and

slipped

through

I

knees and tried to jump.

way around

the

said. All

I

for me.

said.

sturdy, but

frowned

I

at

it,

wondered

I

if it

was sturdy

then looked at him, hoping

for a reprieve. "I'll

spot you," he said.

Great,

kid

get

I

thought.

I

who fell on a gym "Come on, Jared. I

would be known

teacher and killed him. don't

want

"Okay.

my

to get

I'll

try."

I

put

I

my

other foot up, but

He grabbed my arm was

it

for support,

and with some

on the

diffi-

chair.

a shot," he said. I

said.

Don't worry."

gripped the bar, took a deep breath, and bent

was almost

aching knees until

I

because the toes of

my

"Okay, I

tried

knees said no.

"Don't take the chair away," "I won't.

up on the chair and

foot

my

able to get both feet

"Okay, give

I

to torture you. Let's just

over with."

it

culty

forever as the fat

tried,

at a

sneakers were

dead hang still

my

— almost,

on the

chair.

try to pull yourself up," he said.

but

it

probably didn't look

Sweat trickled down

my brow

like

and into

my

it

to him.

eyes.

My

THROW OUT CONVENTIONAL WISDOM

knuckles ached something

forming on

ters

the strain as

my

I

my

terrible,

My

palms.

shifted

more

of

and

149

I

could

feel blis-

shoulders popped with

my

weight from

my

feet to

hands. "This

the best

is

can do,"

I

whole world except

the

I

said,

wanting nothing

in

for this to end.

"Great," he said. "You tried. That's the important thing."

But

I

was

afraid to

let

go of the

bar.

I

was

afraid

my knees

would buckle.

He saw my dilemma and around the thighs.

Was

he crazy?

me

"I've got you, Jared."

thought.

I

couldn't possibly hold

The

stood close, grabbing

killer-bee girls

me

I

don't care

how

fit

he

is,

he

up.

laughed out loud.

I

glanced over

my

shoulder at them. They were clutching their stomachs and covering their mouths, getting a real charge out of making

fun of me.

could

I

feel

my

face flushing.

I

couldn't have

been more embarrassed.

With my gym pain and get girls

were

little

to quiet

teacher's help,

down

I

was

able to endure the

off the chair without falling.

in stitches,

The mean

and even the gym teacher's glare did

them down.

"Forget them," he said to me. "You're a brave guy, Jared.

I

have a

"Thanks,"

my

lot I

of respect for you."

said, huffing

hands propped on "Rest up a

ups. I

little,"

my

and puffing, bent over with

knees.

he said. "Then we'll try some

Okay?" closed

my

eyes.

He had

to be kidding.

sit-

JAREO, 1HE SUBWAY GUY

150

But he wasn't, and

had to struggle through the

I

rest of

the test with the killer-bee girls and everyone else in the

gym

watching.

When Not one

It

was

it

was so humiliating. all over,

hundred-yard dash? I

score. All zeros.

And

not one push-up, not one chin-up.

sit-up,

the pre-test.

had a perfect

I

I

gave up after ten.

was going

to have to

And

this

go through

the

was only

this

again

for the real test.

The jock boys and

formance was hilarious, but

would not

for the next Thursday, so

and called test after

ways be

I

On

in sick.

I

about banished

serious dieting.

on

my

him

to

found out that levels

it

tell

my

my

I'd

life,

even after

diet,

the

will al-

I

started

I

my

I

made an

ap-

endocrinologist to get a checkup, ex-

me

that

I

should start working out.

blood pressure as well as

had gone down some. I

I

me

learned that I'd lost 94 pounds

Subway sandwich

my

by any means, but

I

my

I

cholesterol

wasn't out of the danger zone

was showing some improvement.

The doctor asked me how told

teacher gave

high school, but in college

in

from

When

self-styled

pointment with pecting

gym

for that.

avoided physical activity

just

faked a stomach virus that day

Friday the

him

I

was scheduled

real test

school by myself without an audience.

grateful to

per-

decided then and there that

I

them an encore. The

give

my

the killer-bee girls thought

him exactly what

I

I

had

lost the weight,

was doing. To

my

and

I

amazement, he

approved. "That's

fine,

keep going."

Jared," he said. "It's working for you, so

THROW OUT CONVENTIONAL WIS OOM

He

me

advised

morning, which while

my

to

my

The

local

when

knew

all,

that

I

I

it,

usually once

did religiously was get

Subway sandwich shop twice

my

couldn't do I

losing weight unless

it.

me

didn't

I

should, but

I

These self-proclaimed "ex-

would eventually I

day for

a

Veggie Delite dinner.

didn't even try. People told

perts" claimed that

routine. But

thought of

I

only thing

turkey-sub lunch and

exercise at I

did for a couple of weeks, but after a

I

or twice a week.

down

to start taking a multivitamin every

only took them

I

151

hit a wall

and stop

my

added regular exercise to

daily

none of these people were morbidly obese, so

they didn't understand.

I

didn't feel capable of doing any-

thing strenuous or even "moderately active." Just walking

was

me

a chore for me, and even the shortest distance put

still

out of breath and in need of a

was continuing

to lose weight,

happy enough with But when year,

I

I

I

could

feel that

and for the time being

got back to school in the issue that

of

fall

my

had been bothering

away

—

third

me

for

me, but walking with a backpack

of textbooks and notebooks was nearly impossible.

my

was

for

—my dependence on the campus bus. Walking

was bad enough

of

I

I

that.

had to face an

over a year

rest.

Most

were no more than a five-minute walk

classes five

minutes for a normal person, that

is.

The bus

route circled the whole campus, but the stop closest to

apartment went

had to

ride

classes.

I

it

full

in the

my

opposite direction, which meant

for forty-five minutes before

it

got to

I

my

did this every day.

In the beginning

ing time, but

I

was

I

told myself that this

was good study-

kidding myself.

was nothing but

just

It

JABEO, THE SUBWAY GUY

152

a big waste of time.

my

Worse than

It

was

just

ready limited

life.

So when

crutch.

tember,

I

something

else that limited

my

al-

got back to school that Sep-

I

goal for myself.

set a

bus had become

that, the

was going

I

to start walking

to class.

At this point I

was

in

no shape

hundred pounds,

With

ertion.

walk was

a

five

rest before

knees,

my life, I was more than just out of shape.

in

I

was

I

minutes

first class

when

I

it

had dropped over a

came

to physical ex-

of books, the longest

full

at a time,

and

I'd

could

I

need a five-minute

could start up again. Plus, everything hurt

day

first

pathetic

backpack

my feet, my

The

Even though

at all.

I

back,

tried

that day

my

it, I

—my

shoulders, everything.

thought

was criminal

was going

I

justice,

to die.

My

which met on the

eleventh floor of Ballantine Hall, about a twenty-minute

my

walk from

apartment.

hundred miles away termined I

was huffing and

shirt.

stop.

my

I I

as far as

at least to try. It

might

It I

as well

have been a

was concerned, but I was

wasn't long after starting out that

puffing, sweat spots

showing on

pushed myself to keep going, but soon

was out of breath, gasping

hands on

my

heading for their

de-

I

my

had to

for air, bending over with

thighs as other students breezed past me, classes.

A guy who lived in my apartment complex happened to walk by. We didn't really know one another, but knew his I

face and, of course, everybody

He

stopped and bent

down

knew to see

the fat guy

my

face.

from #1. "Are you

okay?" he asked.

"Yeah

.

.

.

fine,"

I

said.

I

wasn't

fine,

but

I

was

afraid

THROW OUT CONVENTIONAL WISDOM

that

complained even the

if I

an ambulance and

least little bit, he'd call for

the dispatcher

tell

153

was having

I

a heart

attack.

"You sure?" he asked. "Yeah. I'm okay.

wanted to do

me

took

It

Thanks

.

apartment. I

inside.

My reflection

could've easily lain

my

at

that's

I

I

I

class

like I'd just

walking, didn't

the grass and taken a nap.

I

knew I wasn't going without dozing

me

it

back home

make

to

off.

to the curb.

to get inside.

day?

this every

didn't look like he could take inside

I

I

going

wondered. That

I

me

at

in the glass

it.

my class and my surprise,

and took the elevator up to

to stay

didn't feel half as

take the bus.

I

My bus pass was in

go back to taking the bus. But was

go through

it

after class instead of

poor exhausted person looking back

managed

to

thought. But a wave of guilt swept over me.

I

want

went

been doused I

mixed emotions.

could ride

I

to have to

I

my

tired

campus bus pulled up

the

stared at the bus with wallet.

from

it

doors was pa-

in the glass

Students piled out and walked past

my

a mile

make

was breathing hard and so

reflection.

when

looked

down on

through an hour-long

And

rest stops to

which was only half

with a garden hose.

frowned

and no audience.

fuss

and four

forty minutes

was so sweaty

thetic. I

wanted him to go away.

I

stopped once more to get myself together be-

I

went

for asking."

my own, no

on

this

to Ballantine Hall,

fore

.

appreciated his concern, but

I

I

.

And

awake through bad I

as

I

it.

thought

decided

I

I

And

to

would.

would walk

I

to

I

decided not to

my

next

class,

JAREO. THE SUBWAY GUY

154

and then walk back home killed I

in a

few weeks

I

didn't

I

mind

much.

saw

it

me on

to

go

I

.

.

even

if it

I'd

months

was

walk more

felt

days

make

I

didn't need

it

it

two

to Ballantine Hall

and that day was a mile-

rest,

celebrating by going home, taking out a pair

I

later

I

my

bus pass

was only mildly winded when

this

As

approached the front doors,

I

in half.

did that walk again without any stops,

and

time

—the campus bus. Every

that crutch. After about

finally able to

of scissors, and cutting

Two

needed to

weather turned cooler,

more empowered.

without stopping once for a stone for me.

fall

I still

also found another personal spark

thrown away

anymore. I

by,

I

so much.

it

not as often, and as the

that spurred

I

.

forced myself to keep walking to class every day, and

didn't sweat as

time

afternoon

me.

rest but I

in the

up the length of the building.

It

I

slowed

I

got there.

down and

was framed by

stared

a cloudless

blue sky.

Eleven floors,

I

thought.

That was going to be going to

getting

to do.

And by

then

up

to

And

after all,

way

grinned.

I

I

decided.

my class. I would

on a StairMaster, but

this

I

was

never

was something

I

was doing

it

— eleven

up, three times a week.

Throw Out Conventional Wisdom •

Scientifically

I

had to get up to the classroom.

the end of the semester,

floors, all the

I

next challenge,

start taking the stairs

dream of wanted

And

my

proven facts don't always take an

dividual's personality into account. Everyone

inis

THROW OUT CONVENTIONAL WIS OM

different,

for •

and each person reaches

change

his or her goal

differently.

The program

for

change that

must come from you. must be tailored to goals.

155

It

fit

will

work

for

you

must make sense to you.

It

your individual needs and

If S

Fill

SOI II

the Void

Separating the habit you want to kick from the rest of your life is

probably the hardest part of any major

The bad habit of your

life,

Think of thrown

doesn't exist in a

all

by

change.

itself. It's

a part

entangled and ingrained in everything you do.

were

a big tangle of Christmas tree lights that

in the storage

the year before.

have to

box

life

sit

You

box

after the tree

can't just

down and

was taken down

yank the strands

apart.

You

painstakingly untangle each light in

order to extricate the faulty strands from the ones that

work.

It

takes time, patience, and dedication.

But separating the bad habit from is

just the beginning.

behaviors from your

time on your hands. self

when he

all

your good habits

Once you've eliminated

life,

you'll find that

What

you have a

all

lot

of

does an alcoholic do with him-

doesn't go to bars anymore?

shopoholic do with

destructive

What

does a

that extra time she used to spend at

FILL THE VOID

the mall?

When

do they do with There

is

no

couples stop their constant bickering, what their evenings?

one-size-fits-all, all-purpose

and you have to

answer to

this,

figure out the solution that's going to

work

most of us won't take up

radi-

Few

of us

for you. In all practicality

new hobbies and

cally

157

lifestyles to

the void.

fill

can afford the financial commitment involved with taking

up parachuting,

for example, or

NASCAR

racing or even

nightly ballroom dancing lessons.

A more practical solution is to keep were doing before and learn to enjoy tive

it

without the addic-

behavior that you've come to associate with

other words, untangle the string of lights

your

doing whatever you

and get

rid of

it,

so you can

it.

In

damaged Christmas

move on and

decorate

tree.

Watch

Go

television without eating.

shopping without overspending.

your credit cards

Go Go

at

Maybe

even leave

home.

out to dinner without ordering an alcoholic drink. to a rock concert without

smoking a

joint before

the show.

Have dinner with your spouse without

the nightly ar-

gument. I

know

this isn't easy.

problem and

live

But

a normal

if

life

you expect to conquer your afterward,

it

has to be done.

Otherwise you'll be walking on eggshells wherever you go, waiting for the

moment

of weakness

when

the conditions

conspire against you and you succumb to your addiction.

The

party, the concert, the restaurant, the night at

alone.

You have

to learn

how

home

to cope with these situations

158

J A R

E

D

.

THE

SUBWAY GUY

without your drug of choice, whether

it's

food, pot, or

venting your anger. It's

not easy, but

Obesity

it

not just a physical problem

is

problem. Overeating times.

food

I

can be done.

did

not something

the time.

it all

—getting

is

eating

it,

My

whole

—

it's

a lifestyle

did only at meal-

I

life

revolved around

and strategizing about how

it,

I

could get more.

When I went from eating than 2,000,

I

my

side. If

in

a

super-size soda

stopped

my

watched

did everything together.

were part of the

deal.

had to go out on an errand

I

If I

liter I

con-

of soda by

could

I

still fit

snacked while

in the car,

at a fast-food restaurant drive-through.

lem wasn't

my

lost

an extra-large hot-buttered popcorn and a

seat),

studied. If

had

wasn't really a joke. Food was

went out to a movie (back when

I

I

We

usually had a big bag of chips and a

I

how

it

companion.

stant

TV,

used to say half-jokingly that

But

best friend.

10,000 calories a day to fewer

I

I

always

My prob-

just the availability of fattening foods,

was

it

intertwined eating these foods had become with

my

daily routine.

A typical

day for

went something

me

like this. I'd

and rush down to the

my

at college

when

I

lived in the

wake up around 8:00 a.m.

cafeteria before

it

closed. I'd load

plate with whatever hot breakfasts they

that day

— eggs, pancakes,

dorm up

were offering

waffles, breakfast burritos, ba-

con, sausage, ham, hash browns, tater tots, whatever they

had, and there was always a lot to choose from, so

some of

everything. I'd

I

took

throw in a bagel or two, maybe a

FILL THE VOID

few

slices

159

of toast slathered with butter, cream cheese, or

peanut butter.

A

couple of donuts

if I

was

in the

mood

for

something sweet. Coffee with cream and sugar, of course.

And

usually a few glasses of soda, and never diet soda.

I

didn't like the taste of diet drinks.

drink cans of soda through the morning, even during

I'd

and indulge

class, felt

in

vending-machine snacks whenever

I

the urge.

By noon there

I

was back

and again

were always plenty of choices. Burgers, hot dogs,

sloppy joes, pizza,

And

at the cafeteria for lunch,

that

was

chili, tacos, fried

just the hot line.

chicken, French

The cold

fries.

line offered all

kinds of cold cuts and fixings for making sandwiches.

I

usually

made my own sub on

mounds

of roast beef and American cheese and ladling both

a long roll, stuffing

it

with

with mayonnaise. The salad bar always

sides of the bread

had creamy potato

salad,

macaroni

salad,

and cole slaw

as

well as chopped lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, red

onions, and various other veggies. I'd often basically healthy salads, then

drown them

make myself

in

creamy blue

cheese dressing. Desserts were always plentiful cake, pie, brownies, ice-cream bars, you there for the taking, If

I

and boy, did

had an afternoon

I

name

little

hungry, so

I'd stop at

pus and order a burger, just to tide

Back

me

at the

it. It

was

all

take!

class, I'd

bring another can of

soda with me. By the middle of the afternoon, a

—cookies,

I

was always

one of the snack bars on cam-

fries,

and a soda or a milk shake

over until dinner.

dorm,

I'd

unwind

in front of the television

with a big bag of greasy, salty chips and some more soda.

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

160

Dinner

in the cafeteria

was

the hot entrees were better

pork chops,

balls,

ham

Some more

—roast

steaks,

vegetables that I'd dress

a repeat of lunch except that beef, spaghetti

mashed potatoes, and mixed

up with

salad with globs of

and meat-

of butter and

lots

creamy

salt.

and maybe

dressing,

a rich dessert. In the evenings while

can of soda near get

at

hand.

I

always had an open

When I was

finished studying, I'd

I

studied,

on the computer and play video games, which usually

more snacking between games,

called for

home when

ten into at

By eleven o'clock

I

I

a habit

I

had got-

was younger.

usually started thinking about

my

midnight snack. Pizza Hut delivered to the dorm, and as

you know,

I

would

Meat

regularly order an extra-large

Lover's with extra meat and extra cheese.

When with JL,

I

moved out

my

of the

dorm and took an apartment

ing for ourselves didn't appeal to either of us, so ate out,

and for

fat fast

food.

As you can So when hours to to

I

me

it

was almost always

see, eating

started

fill.

Cook-

eating habits didn't change very much.

The

do something

we

high-calorie, high-

took up a great deal of

my Subway

sandwich

logical solution to that else, like get a

usually

diet,

my

had a

I

time. lot

of

problem would be

hobby. Well, that was easier

said than done. Every recreational activity

I

enjoyed had

some kind of association with food. Whenever

I

watched

TV

or played video games,

I

snacked.

When If I

I

read a book or studied,

went to

a football

I

munched.

game, forget about

it.

There were

FILL THE VOID

all

kinds of concessions selling

many

161

went

to the mall to

go shopping, inevitably

pass the food court, and just as inevitably

something

irresistible that

went out

I

I

for a drive in the car,

Okay, you might ferent, Jared?

Why

say,

why

didn't

There weren't many sports

And

would

find

would eventually

you do something

dif-

something new?

try I

I

could participate in

sumo

(Indiana University didn't have a

team.)

would

just couldn't resist.

I

didn't

you

I

I

had to have.

just

pass a fast-food restaurant that

size.

too

temptations.

If I

If

Way

kinds of foods.

all

sedentary games like chess or

my

at

wrestling

Monopoly were

too similar to video games to avoid the lure of snacking.

Dating was out of the question.

And

I

wasn't ready for that.

besides, everything a couple does

volves food

—dinner

on a

out, a movie, a party.

typical date in-

Food, food, and

more food. Speaking of parties, I

didn't like the taste of beer,

cause beer

is

been

I'd never

much

of a party guy.

which was a good thing be-

high in calories, and

it

seems to go

with pizza, chips, nuts, and sandwiches.

If I

all

too well

drank beer,

I'd

probably just end up eating more. I

never smoked, thank God.

girls,

it

petites

came

and

—take

it

lose weight.

up I

in general

insane.

is

specifically to

was

to healthy living, but

smoking it's

seems

Some people

certainly

one thing

a very bad idea,

—particularly

curb their ap-

no expert when

know was

that

and as a dieting

aid,

I

did

Can you imagine how much harder

have been for while carrying

me all

to breathe

if

I

it

had smoked

that weight? I'm sure

I

it

would

cigarettes

would never have

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

162

had to worry about getting lung cancer because

dropped dead of

bly have

I'd

proba-

a heart attack before the cancer

had a chance to develop. So what did

do to

I

fill

the void

now

that

I

wasn't eating

every ten minutes? Well, nothing.

And

everything.

my

Rather than overhauling

The only

actly the same.

thing

I

entire lifestyle,

I

kept

was

that

I

did every-

sandwich

diet,

I

went cold

difference

it

ex-

did before but without eating.

When

started

I

my Subway

turkey (no pun intended). drastic,

felt

I

that

my

couldn't afford to ease into a

I

was so

situation

new

pattern of

Going from three huge meals and constant

healthier eating.

snacking to just three very modest meals was an enormous change. Initially

I

tractions to take

was hungry

my mind

favorite distractions I

wracked

would take

needed

dis-

off food. Unfortunately all

my

all

the time, so

I

matched perfectly with food.

my brain my mind

to

come up with new

off eating, but

activities that

was stumped.

I

couldn't handle any kind of physical activity, and willing to spend

with because

money on something

I

can't

I

tell

never finished. a lot of

out

new

I

I

lost interest in

you how many books I

my time.

activities

might not

stick

I

my courses easily,

started reading

also needed something that

Ultimately

I

and

would take up

decided to concentrate on the

was already comfortable with

ones.

wasn't

had a habit of starting things and quickly

getting bored with them.

and

I

I

I

rather than seek

Fill THE VOID

I

TV

more video games and watching more

started playing

me from

to distract

163

eating.

always made sure

I

gallons of diet soda in the apartment.

urge to

eat,

I

drank some

diet soda,

yearnings for a while. Over time

came

and becoming

less often,

I

Whenever

had

I

got the

I

and that quelled the

found that the cravings

Super

totally engrossed in

Mario or Grand Theft Auto or the

latest

video release oc-

my mind enough to keep me from snacking. Surfing the Web could distract me for hours, but

cupied

I

stayed

knew

away from

that there

Web, and

I

I

were numerous dieting chat rooms on the

avoided them

would

all

because talking about diets

would not help me.

strategies

set

me

back.

kind of commiseration supportive. ing to the

if

with food or dieting.

sites that dealt

and cravings and eating anything, this

only

I

I

was

afraid that listen-

woes of other people struggling with

weight issues would drag

If

didn't consider that

me down. And

certainly

I

their

didn't

need to hear pep talks from diet cheerleaders. That kind of ultra-positive

that

if I

happy

was going

talk

would

me

just turn

to succeed, the changes

off.

I

knew

had to come

from within myself.

I

had spent

and the haul of

fall

my

home and

five

and winter of dieting.

stuck to

back to school,

day

I

years at IU getting

ate the

I

I

my

had made

my Subway

bachelor's degree,

fourth year were the long it

through the summer

sandwich

was determined

same thing

my

—coffee

diet.

When

to keep going.

Day

I

at

got

after

for breakfast, a 6-inch

turkey sub for lunch, a 12-inch Veggie Delite for dinner,

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

164

and a bag of baked chips or pretzels and a each sandwich. Yes,

it

got boring sometimes, and yes,

tempted to eat something could

cused.

I

ishing

body gave me the

feel that

was

I

Christmas,

then

made

I

positive feedback

my

sure

my

I

stayed fo-

my

dimin-

was on days,

diet

closed,

modest meals.) I

and even

also stead-

I

was

home

at

parents insisted. By Christmas of that year,

but

wasn't ready to

220 pounds. rest.

— stepping on the

was amazed and

I

was

I

scale

was

needed to stay

I

weighed, except when

to about

dream

varied

ate healthy,

I

down I

I

I

losing weight, and

when Subway shops were

fastly refused to get

and

on occasion, but

else

the course. (The only time like

soda with

diet

I

was

delighted,

my

getting close to

and seeing

it

register

below

200.

As the spring semester began, a scale to see

had reached

if I

I

fought the urge to get on

my dream

weight.

afraid to find out, afraid that I'd be disappointed

reached

my

220 was

as far as

self.

ied

At

my

least

I

I

had

stalled,

had

I

yet.

I

kept eating

on very

my

special occasions,

my new body and acquired..

I

Losing nearly half

what

it

manager

my body did

at the

Maybe

told

my-

I

and even then

ate. I

I

was happy

was walking everywhere now and I

was

dating.

weight didn't turn didn't change

make me more

settings. Ironically the first girl

assistant

was

the feeling of energy and vi-

campus Don Juan. Losing weight

sonality either, but

I

I

hadn't

sandwiches and var-

had even started playing tennis again. And

a

thought.

could go. Better not to know,

I

careful and sparing about

enough with tality

not

diet only

was very

Maybe

goal.

if I

I

me

into

my

per-

confident in social

asked out was a part-time

Subway shop

in

my

building.

FILL THE VOID

took her out to dinner

I

—no, not

a few drinks with

some of her

evening out, but

I

meant

for

one another, so

friends.

it

that

was

that

had done

I

we

was

it. I

I

My

like the

life. I

moved out I

had known during

as the big fat

They

We

trading stories,

come

seen

him

in

touch with a

lot

freshman and sopho-

all

I

experienced happened

Bloomington.

I'd

were having a good time,

when someone from my

at

gone out with a I

had

telling jokes

and

ordered big plates of pasta while

into the restaurant

viciously

lost

old dorm-mates. In a sense,

moments

Italian restaurant in

friends.

my

my

I

huge,

is

had given me the cloak of anonymity.

of the sweetest

a big salad.

me

of the dorms,

years, particularly

losing weight

few

is

hulking silhouette was enough for them to recog-

of the people

an

was

person you once were. Most of

who knew me on campus knew me

after I'd

One

normal

felt

active social

defi-

living.

you don't look

more

weren't

one date. But the

nize me. But the enrollment at Indiana University

and

enough

a nice

that

after

— and had

of the side effects of losing hundreds of pounds

the people guy.

was

ended

and perfectly capable of having an

One

It

Subway

on campus anymore.

nitely not the fat freak

ready to start

at a

we both knew

think

best part about our date

165

past happened to

—Harry, a guy who had taunted

when we had both

lived in the

dorm.

almost two years, and believe me,

I

I

hadn't hadn't

missed him.

Harry had gained

a

little

weight since

He seemed chunkier and somehow

I'd last

squarer

seen him.

—square body,

square head, square hands, even square shoes.

He

spotted

us and immediately started walking toward our table.

He

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

166

knew most happy

of the guys at the table from the dorm.

and

to see him,

when we were

living

on the same

me. At

Back

he always spewed

floor,

when we

hadn't counted on one thing

I

wasn't

instantly braced myself.

I

out some kind of nasty remark

But

I

met.

—he didn't recognize

thought he was snubbing me, but then he

first I

stopped and stared

at

me, squinting

beady

his

little

eyes.

"Jared?" he said tentatively. "Is that you?"

"Yup.

me."

It's

His square jaw dropped open

"What

truck.

didn't even I

on

.

.

what happened

.

know

back of a

like the

to you?"

dump

he said.

"I

was you."

it

just smiled, feasting

on

the look of envy and disbelief

his face.

"How I

.

.

.

how'd you do

it?"

shrugged. "I just went on a diet,"

that.

As

far as

was concerned,

no one"

the "tell

None went

I

was

rule

I

was

said

I

still

on

and

my

left it at

diet,

and

in effect.

still

of the guys particularly liked Harry, so he soon

we were

off to his table. But as

leaving,

made

I

a

point of passing him as he slurped up spaghetti.

"Nice seeing you, Harry," front door. "Take

He

looked

As

I

I

headed for the

easy."

from the corner of

come out

walked away,

look at Harry's face to savor the

said as

up and stopped chewing,

spaghetti dangling for an insult to

it

I

I

his

of

strand

mouth.

I

of

waited

of him, but he was speechless.

turned around and took one

—the confusion, the

memory

a

it

jealousy.

I

last

wanted

for a long time.

Another old acquaintance

I

ran into that semester was

FILL THE

Ryan Coleman. dorms.

I

I

also

was walking

VOID

167

knew him from my time

in front of the student center

in the

when

I

him walking toward me.

spotted

"Hey, Ryan. How's

going,

it

man?"

said as

I

ap-

I

proached him.

He

gave

me

a funny look.

could

I

he didn't recog-

tell

nize me.

"Jared Fogle,"

I

Read Hall freshman

"We

said.

lived

on the same

floor in

year."

"Jared?" he said in disbelief. His eyes bugged as he

looked

We

me up and down. shook hands, but he kept looking

can't believe

you," he kept saying.

it's

at

my

body. "I

"How'd you do

it?

Did you get your stomach stapled?" I

shook

my

head. "No, nothing like that."

"Then how?

I

Reluctantly the "tell lost a

mean

—look

told him.

I

no one"

By

rule because

at

you."

this point, it

the paper."

Dude,

He

I

have got to write a story about you for

now an

I

I

wanted

me was

all

editor for the

that attention, but

flattered. People

had done, and

I

it

in the

"Come is

I

have to

had been marveling

was beginning

pretty remarkable myself. But did

nounce

This

had

"That's absolutely

said.

explained that he was

wasn't sure

what

was

I

campus newspaper.

admit, part of at

that

ton of weight.

incredible.

I

had suspended

was so obvious

"Subway sandwiches?" Ryan

daily

I

I

to believe that

really

it

want to an-

school paper?

on, man,"

Ryan coaxed. "You have

a fantastic story.

It

has to be told."

to say yes.

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

168

thought about

I

it,

and

occurred to

it

me

that this

might be a good incentive for keeping the weight

How

embarrassing would

be for

it

me

if

off.

gained the

I

weight back after showing off the trim Jared to the whole school?

"Okay,"

I

Ryan was

overjoyed.

"You can do the

We

you before you

article."

agreed to meet a few days

he could interview me.

later so that

tures of

finally said.

lost the

"Do you have any

weight? You know,

at

pic-

your

heaviest." I

nodded. "Yeah, sure."

"Great. I'd like to run 'before' and get one of our photographers to take a

photos.

'after'

good

'after'

I'll

picture

of you."

"Okay."

I

imagined what side-by-side photos of

would look

like in the paper.

rassing, but

it

all

good

a

We met

would

I

was sure

it

would be embar-

also be positive feedback

incentive to stay

on the

me

and most of

diet.

shook hands and agreed to touch base before we

for the interview.

We

parted, and he started

on

his

way. Suddenly he turned around and called to me. "By the

way, exactly I

looked

"I don't

how much

at

did you lose?

him and shrugged.

I

How many pounds?"

was genuinely stumped.

know. I'm not sure."

"Well, find out," he said as he walked backward.

need that for the

went on

A sure

his

Talk to you soon."

He

turned and

way.

hundred I

article.

"I'll

butterflies fluttered in

was ready

to get weighed.

my

stomach.

I

wasn't

FILL THE VOID

That evening

down

going

who was

I

in his

the apartment at

left

Subway

to the

169

room

for dinner,"

later.

go

didn't

I

usual time. "I'm called out to

I

JL

studying.

"Okay," he called back. "See you But

my

directly to the

later."

Subway shop.

do that

I'd

passed right by, crossing the street and heading for

I

gym was

campus. The

though

about a fifteen-minute walk. Even

hadn't spent a whole

I

started at IU,

I

locker room.

I

knew

lot

of time there since I'd

they had a doctor's scale in the men's

hoped there wouldn't be too many people

there at dinnertime.

The locker room was mostly deserted when I

walked

in.

could hear showers running and voices in the shower

A janitor mopped the floor near the pool entrance. A

room.

big round clock six. I

I

I

The

on the wall

was

scale

said that

looking

it,

walked to make sure no one

or acquaintance spotted me,

I

down I

the aisles of lockers as

knew was

I

was sure

there. If a friend

wasn't going to do

nasty Harry happened to be there, forget out.

after

right under the clock.

headed toward

and walk

was twenty

it

it.

I'd

that by this time he

it.

And

if

turn around

had come up

with some barbed comments that he was saving for the next time

But give to

me

do I

ers,

it

I

we

met.

didn't see a soul, only the janitor,

a second look. fast before

slid the

I

went

directly to the scale.

whoever was

in the

I

started

scale.

moving

I

wanted

shower came

counterweights to zero, kicked off

and stepped onto the

up position.

and he didn't

my

The pointer clunked

out.

sneakto the

the big counterweight, push-

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

170

ing

it all

the

way

to 200,

and something weird happened.

The needle pointed down. This can't be right, I

moved

I

thought.

the weight to

The

250 and

scale

must be broken.

the needle

pointed

still

down. I

moved

it

Couldn't be,

My pulse

way. get

my

I

thought. I'm between 150 and 200?

picked up a few beats, but

I

didn't

No

want

to

hopes up.

The

janitor

was mopping

"Excuse me,"

He

and the needle pointed up.

to 150,

I

way

his

my

in

direction.

said to him. "Is this scale

stopped mopping and looked up

one the wrestling team uses.

at

broken?"

me. "That's the

haven't heard any com-

I

plaints."

"Oh

.

.

.

okay."

The wrestling team competes They couldn't would

lose

I

left

weight categories.

afford to use a faulty scale.

by default

wrong weight

in strict

if

classification.

on the 150-pound notch and

the big weight

this

be the day

200?

I

too.

couldn't possibly be under 200, could

I

couldn't help but be hopeful, but

slid the

ining

clunked into the

I

be

I

was

started

broke

I

skeptical,

I?

small weight almost to the end of the bar, imag-

my dream

A thrill

wrestler

he tried to enter a bout in the

pushing the small weight. Could

I

A

of seeing myself at 199, but the needle

down

position.

zinged through

my

stomach.

nudged the small weight

much below 200.

1

My heart started to thump.

moved

to the it

I

was under 199!

left,

figuring

to 198, 197,

196

I

couldn't

..

.

FILL THE VOID

The needle nudged

I

it

didn't move.

still

a

171

more

little

aggressively. 195, 190,

185

..

.

didn't budge.

It

Oh,

my God!

thought. This can't be.

I

184,183, 182...

No way! 181,180, 179...

The needle moved

Clink! I

moved

back a pound to 180.

it

The needle

in the

middle posi-

counterweights back to zero and stepped off

slid the

Then

the scale.

down and rocked

drifted

180? Couldn't be. Impossible.

tion. 180. I

up.

I

got back on and weighed myself again.

The needle balanced

at

180 again.

I

couldn't believe

it.

I

weighed 180 pounds! I

dle.

was stunned. I

I

couldn't stop staring at the floating nee-

checked the counterweights.

wrong. But "So

is

I

it

wasn't.

It

said

I

Maybe

I

was reading

weighed 180.

accurate?" the janitor called to

me from

the

doorway.

"Ah

.

.

yeah,"

.

I

said a

little

Fill

•

The problem you're isolated part of

come •

your

nervously. "I guess

it

is."

the Void

trying to conquer life.

ingrained in your

Recognize that

is

not an

it

has be-

lifestyle.

People spend a lot of time indulging in their bad habits.

Once

a

it

bad habit has been eliminated, that

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

172

time has to be will •

most

filled

by something

else,

otherwise

it

likely return.

Once you've achieved your vamping your

entire

life,

goal, instead of re-

learn to live the

way you

always have but without the addictive behavior.

LESSON 11

Change

Is

for Life

Suppose you were a gifted basketball player and your

dream was

to play in the

NBA. What would you

do? You'd

probably practice hard in high school so that you could get into a college with a nationally ranked team. You'd train

hard, eat the right things, condition your

body so

that

you

could play like a scoring machine and scouts from the pro

teams would take notice of you. With a

little bit

of luck,

you might be drafted by a pro team, and you'd be playing with the big boys. You would have made

it.

You would

have reached your goal.

And

then what?

Would you

stop training and practicing?

slack off because you'd hit your target?

Would you

Would you

feel

it

was time to kick back and take a break? Absolutely not. You'd have to maintain the

level

of

playing that got you to the pros, so that you could stay

JARED, IHE SUBWAY GUY

174

there.

You'd have to keep training and conditioning your

body. Right?

Suppose you wanted to

would most You would

your

start

work day and

likely

own

business.

night putting

it

would scope out markets. You would court You would contact

offices.

together.

product or service you were offering.

refine the

You would work long and hard on your business

ers.

You

plan.

You

financial back-

potential customers and visit their

You would promote your business

until

you were

ready to drop.

Now

suppose your business started to take

tomers put

in large orders.

Cash

off.

Cus-

started to flow in. Happily

you were forced to increase your 'Staff and expand your manufacturing plant to meet the demand. All your hard

work was paying

off.

Business was booming.

What would

you do then?

Take a couple of days

off

and play golf?

Go on

an ex-

tended vacation? Let your employees run things while you chilled? I

Only an

don't think so.

If

idiot

would do

you wanted your business to continue to succeed, you

would keep on working hard

to

improve the business and

maintain your market position. You'd strive to

So

make it's

that.

goals and

meet them. You would want to prosper and grow.

why a

new

set

should

it

be any different

major change

in

your

life?

the beginning, the beginning

when

you're trying to

The goal

of a healthy

is

not the end;

life.

Unfortunately, most dieters think just the opposite.

They reach

their target weight,

back to "normal"

eating.

What

and they can't wait to get they

fail

to realize

is

that

CHANGE

FOR LIFE

IS

175

what they were eating before was "abnormal" they ate during their diet should

normal

punishments.

If

hung up

in notions of

you think of your

break the bad news to you

back

all

the weight

you

badly,

be their definition of

eating.

Dieters also get

me

now

What

eating.

you

You

lost.

will eventually

punishment,

diet as

—you're will

succumb

rewards and

doomed

want

a

let

to gain

reward so

to fried onion rings

and bacon-double-cheese burgers and chocolate layer cake

and

those rewards you'd been denying yourself during

all

your

diet.

Recovering drug addicts and alcoholics understand concept

on

much

better than dieters.

special occasions

A

little

snort of cocaine

would be absolutely out of

tion for a former drug abuser.

this

A couple of beers

the ques-

during the

Super Bowl for a recovering alcoholic? Never. Change for

life.

back to It's

Once you've kicked your bad it.

Not for any

to survive, but ate

you don't go

reason.

true that compulsive eating

other addictions.

habit,

is

is

a

little

different

You don't need drugs or alcohol

you do need food. But you must

from

in order

differenti-

between good food and bad food. You don't need bad

food to survive. Just the opposite.

make

that distinction, the happier

And

the sooner you

and more successful you

will be.

Great athletes, successful businesspeople, just about

anyone

who

struggles

and succeeds does not give up once

The

real prize

is

maintaining

that level of success, not simply reaching

it

once.

the goal has been reached.

want

to stay trim or sober or addiction-free,

If

you

you must look

1

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

78

and

into the mirror

tell

no going back

There's

yourself that this to

is

what you used

your

life

now.

to think of as

"normal." If it

were up to me,

when we

talk about

I

would modify

making

a big

life

the

words we use

change. Dieters talk

about reaching their "goal," a word that implies scoring, putting a ball through the hoop, carrying a pigskin into the end zone, kicking a soccer ball into the net. You've

scored the winning goal. The crowd roars.

Game

over.

You've won.

Wrong. That kind of victory not

how

it

exists in sports movies, but that's

works when you're

you think that

dieting. If

you've reached the summit of your personal

Mount

Everest

once you've gotten to your target weight, think again.

Don't stick your

flag in the

snow and think

the struggle has

ended unless you want to be sorely disappointed

The

struggle

your

life. If

that reality,

is

not a temporary situation. The struggle

you don't learn how to

you

live

will inevitably fall off the

icant

many

a

well-known

fact that

fact,

most people who

amounts of weight eventually gain cases gain even more.

were willing to change weight.

mountain and you might

farther than your starting point.

fall

It's

is

comfortably with

tumble back down to where you started. In even

later on.

old body

back and

in

Because these people

their lives only until they lost the

Once they reached

their old eating habits

Why?

it all

lose signif-

their goal, they drifted

back to

and consequently went back

to their

sizes.

This happens because the changes these people made

— CHANGE

were not for

FOR LIFE

They probably

life.

177

felt

that while they

were suffering through the

single regulated low-cal, low-fat

reached their goal, they the equivalent of a

other words they

felt it

diet

meal they

off the

and

ice

these people thought.

end zone. In

in the

wagon and

fell

hard. Health-

all

Happy days were

cream.

They

Once they

ate.

was time to celebrate and do

touchdown dance

fell

felt

and hated every

shake breakfasts and salad lunches were hello, pizza

were

were being deprived of "real" food. They

dieting, they

that they

IS

invited

all their

forgotten here again,

"old friends"

back.

The mistake seems so obvious. iot

It

seems that only an

could go back to his or her old habits, but believe

not, even smart people fall into this trap.

making

a

starts

or

it

with

few small exceptions. 100 pounds,

"I've lost this

It

id-

for

God's sake.

I

can cheat just

once."

Grandma's birthday.

"It's

A

cake just

little

this

once

won't hurt."

had corn chips

"I haven't

my

favorite. "I

know

my

ner,

but

and

she'll

I'll I

and they used to be

just eat a few."

shouldn't indulge in a big Thanksgiving din-

mother-in-law went to the trouble to

be hurt

if I

make

it

don't eat something."

The small exceptions lead to

in so long,

lead to bigger exceptions,

more frequent exceptions, which

which

lead right back to

bad habits. Before long you're rummaging through the back of your

closet,

looking for the "fat pants" you wore

before you started dieting.

When

I

found out that

I

was down

to

180 pounds,

I

lit-

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

178

erally

jumped

for joy. But

down

didn't run

I

nese buffet to celebrate and break the

fast.

to the Chi-

You

see,

I

never

thought of Subway sandwiches as starvation rations. liked

what

I

was eating

all

along.

I

didn't feel that

I

I

had to

go back to "real" food. To me, these sandwiches were real food.

Before

I

stepped on the scale

at the

gym,

I'd

second thoughts about being the subject of an

my fears

school paper, but I

had reached

now

my

I

saw

that

goal and significantly surpassed

it. I

was

looking forward to meeting Ryan Coleman for

in-

weighed only 180 pounds.

I

I

245

figured I'd cut out the article and send a copy to

my

my

all

tell

in eleven

him

my

total of

couldn't wait to

pounds

that

get a kick out of

it. I

had

in the

The

article

title

I

month

after

but

side,

people.

I

it

I

much thought

slender

before

almost looked

like

I

I

to see

had met it

on

to Thin."

the

You

— big

fat

180-pound Jared.

I'd

couldn't miss the before and after pictures of

never given

a small

it.

was "From Thick

425-pound Jared next to the

they'd

would be

was surprised

I

knew

middle of the paper, and

the article about a

with Ryan in April 1999. front page.

grand

grandpa.

most people wouldn't even notice

The paper ran

lost a

imagined the

somewhere

piece buried

I

months.

parents and another one to

by

article in the

evaporated as soon as

terview and revealing that

I

been having

me

saw these photos

two completely

side

different

stared at the photos for a long time, taking stock of

the change in me.

When JL

got

I

never wanted to go back to the old me.

home from

and we joked about

my

class,

fifteen

I

showed him

the article,

minutes of fame.

I

tossed

CHANGE

my

my

on

the paper

family and

whole

IS

FOR LIFE

179

desk with the other copies

taken for

I'd

books, ready to forget about the

hit the

thing.

But the rest of the campus wasn't ready to forget about it.

The paper had

though

I

didn't

know

talk of the school.

down

tending to go for dinner as

stunned.

I

I

stands in the morning, and

hit the

I

yet,

it

left

to the

my

by that afternoon

apartment that evening,

Subway

there at one time.

The

in. I'd

line

I

my

Veggie Delite

got there,

never seen so

in-

many

I

was

people in

ran out the door and around the

who wanted

corner. Students

to lose weight

ing for the "Jared sandwiches." to figure out

to get

always did, but when

couldn't get

was the

I

As

I

were clamor-

stood outside trying

what was going on, kids recognized me and

called out to me:

"Jared, did you really eat just sandwiches?"

"What's the best sandwich for losing weight?"

"Did you

"Can

I

eat

any other sandwiches, Jared?"

have dessert on your diet?"

All of a

sudden

I'd

gone from anonymous,

dieter to a dieting expert.

toward the parking I'd better drive to

lot

I

self-styled

smiled and waved as

behind the building.

another Subway

in

town

I

I

backed

had a feeling

if I

intended to

get dinner that night. I

figured

didn't.

it

When

would I

all

blow over by the next day, but

it

started out for class the next morning,

— JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

180

Some

people recognized me.

stared.

name and waved. Some came up about

my

get to class,

My

took

diet. It

and

it

me

to

Some

me and asked

twice as long as

didn't end

when

called out

I

my

questions

usually did to

it

got into the classroom.

professor was holding a copy of the newspaper.

"Mr. Fogle," he

said as

I

my

took

seat.

"Our campus

celebrity."

He

about thirty people in for

and the

started to applaud,

my

success.

felt

I

all.

They

all

with him,

class joined in

seemed genuinely happy

myself blushing because

I

wasn't used

to this kind of attention. I'd always thought of dieting as a

personal thing, something

gone public and

it

"Thank you,"

I

kept to myself, but

was out of I

my

now

I

had

control.

said, patting the air for

them

to stop.

"Thank you." The

class eventually settled

down, but

I

noticed one per-

son whose applause was halfhearted, and her smile was forced.

was

It

my

friend Brenda.

Brenda was few years older than nor.

We

had been

gotten to

know

in a

me and

a business mi-

couple of classes together, and we'd

each other on the campus bus.

We

were

both overweight, and that was our bond. She wasn't nearly as big as

I

had been, but she was what

short and round. She smile, but

we

I

would

call stout

had a sunny personality and a ready

hadn't gotten a chance to talk

much

stopped taking the bus and started walking to

since I'd

class.

Brenda, even more than JL, had kept track of

me and warned me

my me

progress.

She'd complimented

encouraged

along the

way and had

about "plateau-

ing," reaching

also

a point in the dieting process

where

I

just

CHANGE

IS

FOR LIFE

181

wouldn't lose any more no matter what she'd been dieting for years, and

she always

managed

did. She said

I

no matter what she

to plateau, then eventually gain

did,

all

the

weight back.

As ing

had never plateaued

far as

I

knew,

my diet.

I

figured I'd lost about a

one.

The

I

me

said,

eventually. She

and

I

pound

any time dur-

from day

a day

had come up a few times when we rode the

topic

bus together, and she had warned to

at

me

seemed sure of

that

would happen

it

I'd hit a wall, she'd

it.

wouldn't be able to lose any more.

me

After class that day Brenda stopped "I read the article," she said.

in the hallway.

"I'm really happy for you,

Jared." I

detected a bittersweet note in her voice.

was

that she

about

my

little bit

ations

a

little

I

I

think

"Thanks, Brenda,"

means

"You're

a lot to

my

she was.

If

our

sadness behind

"Thanks,"

is

said. "I

remarkable." said.

I

I

situ-

would have been envious.

"I appreciate

your saying

me."

inspiration," she said, flashing her

my

smile. "You're

hero." She laughed, but

I

sunny

could hear the

it.

said, but inside

"I gotta run," she said.

and hurried off to the I

I

if

been watching you over the months," she

think what you've done

that. It

might have also been a

couldn't blame her

had been reversed,

"I've

suspected

embarrassed that she'd been wrong

inevitable plateauing. She

jealous.

I

I

was

feeling

bad for

her.

"See you around." She waved

elevator.

wanted to say something encouraging, something that

would

give her hope, but

I

was

at a loss.

I

felt

a

little

guilty

JARED. THE SUBWAY GUY

182

having succeeded where she had failed so many times, but

was

that

spiration to her.

keep

it

off.

I

One day

Maybe now

hoped

through the cafeteria

Brenda

by

sitting

she

I

really

would

would be an lose

in-

weight and

so.

few weeks

a

Maybe

told myself.

silly, I

later

at the

I

happened to be walking

student center, and

I

spotted

She was eating lunch, but she

herself.

didn't look happy.

On

knew from having

eaten with her in the past that she never

her tray was a plain garden salad.

put dressing on her salads. Unless she was off her loved creamy Russian dressing, and I'd seen her salads in

it

on

a couple of occasions.

wrapped package of

Two

saltines

still

A

I

diet.

She

drown

her

small cellophane-

had one cracker

in

it.

discarded hard-boiled egg yolks and the broken shell

pieces were

water,

on the

side of the tray along with a bottle of

which told me

looked so sad

it

broke

that she

my

was back on her

diet.

She

heart.

Seeing her like that told

me

so much. Brenda was not

ready to change. She was making herself miserable, subsisting

on foods

that left her dissatisfied

would never be

Few

people can.

because she

and deprived. She

able to eat like that for the rest of her If

she lost weight,

would go back

it

life.

would be temporary

to Russian dressing and

all

the

other foods she loved. Those were "normal" foods to her;

what she was eating now wasn't. She hadn't found something that

would work uniquely

for her the

way I had found

Subway sandwiches, and so she wasn't going outlook on healthy

living.

for the rest of her

life

I

imagined her losing and gaining

unless a change

Brenda would be the poster

to change her

girl for

came from

yo-yo dieting.

within.

CHANGE

FOR LIFE

IS

183

Things were never the same between us

We

was published.

other in class, but

were

we

after the article

when we saw one

friendly

still

any classes together, and occasions

but

we

or so.

me

it

that business

was nothing

fit

several

call just to say hi,

and trim me.

down

the article died

The day manager

building told

but

On

sort of lost touch.

from me. Not the

to hear

The brouhaha over

week

didn't have

always stopped myself, thinking she really didn't

I

want

we

thought about giving her a

I

way we

didn't talk anymore, not the

used to talk on the bus. The next semester

an-

like

it

about a

Subway shop

at the

had

after

in

my

definitely picked up,

had been the day the

article ap-

peared. That had been their biggest day ever.

"We've got some new regular customers that we didn't have before, and we're selling a Delites," he told me. "I guess

lot

more of

some people

the Veggie

are following

your diet." "Well,

My ticle,

I

it

works

for them,"

parents and grandpa told

I

me

said.

they enjoyed the ar-

but after a few weeks nobody talked about

more, and

from

hope

I

forgot about

a very excited

it

—

until

said, "you're never

"Try me,"

said.

got a call one evening

gonna

believe this."

"Men's Health magazine picked up the

"What?

I

article."

don't understand."

"Men's Health

is

They're gonna reprint

From

any-

Ryan Coleman.

"Dude," he I

I

it

buying the rights to the it.

article.

We're going national, man."

his ecstatic raving,

I

surmised that

this

was a good

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

104

thing. But after I'd thought about

me

really affect

the world It

had already seen the

make much

down ticle

considerably and used

I

thought

national" I

was kind of funny

it

was

my

my Subway

I

worked

ever

go back to

anymore

it

me and

for

my

life

issue of

major magazine, and

it.

I

was happy with

was on

track.

I

my

kept eating

— but

liked

I

it,

I

I

and since

wasn't

I

didn't

want

decided to stick with

of 1999, and since

paper. Just as well,

and

my

I

had found something to

it.

my identity was com-

was no accompanying hullabaloo

one that came with the original

starting soon,

—

Men's Health with "Jason's story" came

summer

on

for "going

from time to time

old weight,

pletely disguised, there

centrate

my

ate other things

that

like the

my

sandwiches and had no intention of ever stop-

fanatical about

out in the

it

before-and-after

— so much

a byline in a

the end of

weight and the fact that

The

had cut

for him.

figured that

ping. Sure,

was a

photo of a buff model with six-pack

— but Ryan got

was happy I

editors

it

as a sidebar to a feature ar-

it

to "Jason," and instead of using

pictures, they ran a abs.

Men's Health,

in

"Crazy Diets That Work." They changed

called

name

in

difference to me.

The magazine's

very abbreviated version.

knew

I

article in the school paper.

came out

the article

wouldn't

it

very much. Just about everyone

wasn't going to

When

figured

it, I

I

thought.

my

The

fall

article in the school

semester would be

goal was to buckle

down and

con-

studies.

School started, and things were pretty normal. But then

one afternoon apartment.

I

in early

picked

it

October the phone rang

up.

in

our

CHAIGE

"Hello?"

I

FOR LIFE

IS

1

85

said.

"Hi. IsthisJaredFogle?" "That's me."

"My name

Dan

is

Dallin.

got your

I

number from Ryan

Coleman." He explained that he worked ing agency that handled the ticle

Subway account.

about you accurate? You really

eleven

months

eating just

for the advertis"Is

Ryan's ar-

245 pounds

lost

in

Subway sandwiches?"

"It's true," I said.

"Aha ..."

could almost hear the gears turning

I

head. "Please don't take this the

wrong way," he

in his

"but

said,

can you put two words together?"

"What?" "You seem you could

straight

But what's

"I guess.

their

think

talk about your diet for thirty seconds?

know, impromptu,

"Well,

Do you

like a pretty articulate guy.

from the heart?"

this all

Subway has been

franchisees,

maybe you'd

about?"

getting dozens of letters

asking about you.

like to

You

do an ad

We

from

were thinking

for us."

"An ad?" "Yeah, a TV commercial." My pulse started to race. "What would

On

"Just be you. "I guess

I

I

have to do?"

camera."

could do that."

"How would

you

feel

about flying out to Los Angeles

for a couple of days for the shoot? All expenses paid over

and above your Fee?

fee."

Expenses paid? L.A.?

around the room.

My

brain was

zooming

JARED, 1HE SUBWAY GUY

186

"Mr. Fogle?" Dan Dallin "I

.

My

.

.

I

.

heart

was pumping I

in double-time.

was having

A

trip to Cali-

a hard time putting

together.

Change •

"Are you there?"

.

fornia? All expenses paid?

two words

said.

."

Achieving your goal

is

Is

for Life

not the end of the road;

it's

the beginning, the beginning of the rest of your

new •

life.

Your program for change tion.

To maintain

True success reaching

it.

is

not a temporary situa-

the change you've achieved,

must make the program •

is

a part of your daily

you

life.

maintaining your goal, not just

LESSON 12

Move On with Your

Like

or not, the world around you

it

and evolving.

When you

Life

is

always changing

change, the world around you

changes, too. Sometimes for the better. Sometimes not.

There are two ways you can deal with change: Fight try to

make

maintain the status quo. it

work

is

make

sense

fight other kinds of

could

set

and

almost always a vain pursuit. if

try to

you back

in

And

it

you've just succeeded in mak-

ing a big change in your personal

why

it

and

for you.

Fighting change doesn't really

Or embrace

it

life.

Change

is

good. So

changes? Your resistance to change

your personal transformation.

The obvious example

is

the former drug addict

who

has

kicked his habit but stubbornly refuses to stop hanging out with his old drug buddies because he doesn't want to be disloyal to his friends. But even

if

ever taking drugs again, just being

he has no intention of

around people

who

get

JAHE

188

SUBWAY GUY

THE

D.

high in places where drugs are readily available could

He might

cause him to backslide. but the scene

change

he's

isn't

made

good

him out

mately

set

People

doesn't

It

fit

in

drug buddies

in himself. If his

for going straight, then

take

for him.

love these people,

still

with the

reject

really all for the best.

it's

him will

It

of a tempting environment that could

ulti-

him back.

who make

big changes in their lives often end

might

feeling that they've lost their old friends. Well, this

who

sound harsh, but the friends

treat

you

up

differently be-

cause you've improved yourself aren't friends worth having.

These people didn't appreciate you for

are.

They saw you only

who you

really

gambling

as a fellow druggie, a

pal,

mad shopper, an eating buddy. Your true friends are the ones who see you for yourself, and they'll still be there afa

ter

you accomplish your change. Life

is

You can go with

a roller coaster.

Take the speeding dips and

ride.

make them your

delight.

for a horrific experience.

one way, but when upset.

it

But

if

you

and plunges and

falls

try to fight

You expect

you

it

to slow

down, then when

drops precipitously, you scream

try to

Adopt

jump

out,

it

time in your

life

to

it

it

to stop, then

in terror.

And

if

could be disastrous.

the philosophy that

presents opportunities.

you're in

goes in another, you're rattled and

You might want

it

it,

the roller coaster to go

speeds up, you're scared. You might want

when

and enjoy the

it

If

you

it's all

good. Change always

lose a friend,

meet someone new.

If

you you

now

have

feel that

you're no longer

welcome

now explore new

ones. Life can be an adventure but only

at

your old hangouts, you can if

MOVE ON WITH YOUR

189

LIFE

you're willing to be an adventurer. Embrace the external

changes and challenges that your personal transformation

move on with your

brings and

I

my

lost

weight

friend Brenda

common

in

jealous failed.

felt

didn't have being over-

was sad

I

same way. But

the

and

to lose her,

I

that friendship

many emotions

in play

same time. Deep down, she was probably

feeling

was impossible at the

when we

anymore.

think she must have

life.

and

to maintain with so

bitter that

I

had succeeded where she had

I'm guessing she also

that way.

Whenever

know how

I

a

felt

ran into her,

little I

felt

to relate to her anymore.

I

guilty for feeling

awkward.

I

didn't

remembered how

people used to fumble to keep a conversation going with

me when

was huge, how they

I

with a handicap instead of

just

treated

me

like a

person

another person. But with

Brenda, even something as simple as going for a cup of cof-

was fraught with

fee

coffee and as

I

issues. If she

put skim in mine,

I

put whole milk in her

could see that she took that

an implied criticism of her eating habits.

but very often

little

things

become

It

seems

silly,

big things in these kinds

of situations.

Most people friends

and

don't

know how

relatives. It

to deal with their obese

might seem ridiculously obvious to

say this, but just love and respect the obese person for

he or she love.

And keep

Showing

sive to less

is.

pity,

in

mind

that pity

is

not the same as

no matter how well intended,

an obese person. Your pity

tells

who

them

that

is

offen-

you think

of them because of their condition.

Lecturing or advising an obese person about dieting

is

JAR

190

another huge mistake.

E

,

It's

THE

SUBWAY GUY

not as

if

know

they don't

they're

carrying hundreds of pounds of excess weight. These people

know what

they look

they have a problem

and they know very well that

like,

—you don't need to

not an obese person in the world

who wants

way, and they're not burying their heads it.

Either they're not ready to deal with

don't

in the it

to be that

sand about

yet, or

they just

know how. you get

If

them. There's

tell

in

an obese person's face about their problem,

hoping that you can spur them to do something about guarantee that

it

will backfire. Lasting

from within. Hounding doesn't cides

it's

help.

fer to call

so

relate to

the

away when

I

knew

I

I

simply as the "fat guy." In their minds

Albert or the typical

of the joke. fat,

act.

drifted

There were other people

a character in the group and

the

who

the person de-

re-

me

like Fat

When

— prethem acquaintances rather than friends — who

lost all the weight.

lated to

change must come

time to do something, then he will

Brenda wasn't the only person

it, I

fat

kid on a sitcom.

more often than

They never recognized

when

I

I

was

was just

not, the butt

the person underneath

lost the weight, they didn't

know how

me. Of course, most of them didn't care to

pounds melted away, so did

I

my relationships

try.

to

As

with most

of these people.

But please don't get the impression that your world will inevitably

change for the worse when you make a big per-

sonal change. Just the opposite. Doors that you thought were closed before will open

up

for you.

You might never have

even realized these opportunities existed because your condition

had limited your world so

drastically.

My weight liter-

— MOVE ON WITH YOUR

kept

ally

movie

me

out of places

I

LIFE

would have otherwise enjoyed

theaters, airplanes, certain classrooms.

the limitations

had been self-imposed.

my

mocked

or criticized for

where

thought that would happen.

I

walking into a nightclub said a

191

word

knew what

to me,

I

didn't

weight, so I

want

of

to be

avoided places

I

couldn't imagine

425 pounds. Even

at

knew

I

And some

if

no one

they'd be watching me, and

I

they'd be thinking.

At 180 pounds

I

was

free to

go anywhere

was mentally and

spiritually free.

and not be stared

at. I

I

I

wanted.

could go to the mall

could buy clothes in any store

stead of just the big and

tall

men's shop.

cafe and not have people stare at me,

I

I

in-

could go to a

wondering how many

sugars the fat guy was going to put in his coffee and what fattening pastry he

was going

to devour. Fat people are al-

ways being prejudged, and now of prejudice.

I

I

I

was

free

from that kind

was moving on.

know what to expect when the ad agency flew me L.A. to make a test commercial for Subway. I was a

didn't

out to little

nervous about being filmed, but most of

all I

was

just

wowed by the whole experience. Here I was, twenty years old, on my own in Hollywood with the company paying for everything. They even rented an SUV for me while I was

there.

There wasn't much time for sightseeing, though. As soon as

I

picked up the

SUV

at the airport,

Universal Studios for a wardrobe

I

had to drive over to

fitting,

which

I

thought

was pretty funny. Dan Dallin from the ad agency had

me

that they just

wanted me

told

to be myself in the commercial,

JARED. THE SUBWAY GUY

192

but

my own clothes

wouldn't do.

looked pretty

The

I

with "regular guy" clothes, which

what

it

He checked

arrived.

I

wore

all

the time.

was driving through

had been

showed

just

needed the wardrobe de-

me

biggest thrill

A pass

versal.

and

much

I

like

partment to supply

left

for

me

the gates at Uni-

at the car-rental agency,

to the burly guard at the gate his

list,

smiled, and

waved me

when

in.

I

How

cool was that?

As

drove to the building where the wardrobe depart-

I

ment was

tram

located, a

one on board gawked

full

at

of tourists passed by. Every-

me, thinking

famous. The kids on board waved, and visible ripple of tourists. I

I

A

waved back.

excitement went through the group of

They were probably thinking

was thinking: This

The

was someone

I

is

fitting didn't

same thing

the exact

awesome!

take long, so

ternoon to tool around and take

I

had the

rest of the af-

But

in the scene.

it

was

early to bed that night because besides being jet-lagged,

had to be on the

was

still

set the

I

next morning at 5:30 a.m., which

early for me, despite the time change.

Everything on the set was

new

to me, but everyone

was

woman from the ad agency who stayed with me and kept me from tripping over wires and getting in the way. I never realized how much work goes nice, particularly the

into

making

a short thirty-second commercial.

imagined that

it

took that many people,

to have been at least thirty

and probably

What

I

several

I

I

could

call for

see,

the scenes.

found very interesting was the catering

These people didn't

never

There had

either.

crew members that

more behind

And

pizza delivery or

line.

brown bag

it.

MOVE 01 WITH YOUR

Food was provided

for everybody,

my

could compete with celebration

193

LIFE

and

it

was

a spread that

family's annual family reunion

— except that the

sandwiches were made with

sourdough baguettes and croissants instead of plain old white bread and kaiser there

rolls.

Fresh fruit was plentiful, but

were also mounds of brownies and chocolate chip

cookies that disappeared in no time.

marvel

amount of

at the incredible

onto that

I

fat

couldn't help but

and

calories loaded

always thought of Southern Californi-

table. I'd

ans, particularly people in the film industry, as health

beauty fanatics

who

existed

in sparing quantities

and

on avocados and bean sprouts

washed down with massive amounts

of imported bottled water. Well, these were the people be-

hind the camera, and

about what they

I

guess they weren't that particular

ate.

Fortunately for me, because

we were

shooting a Subway

commercial, there was also a wide assortment of Subway noticed that there was a sepa-

sandwiches for the taking.

I

rate table off to the side

with even more Subway sand-

wiches.

I

wandered over to check

perfect sandwiches I'd ever seen.

were

all

it

out and saw the most

The meats and cheeses

neatly folded and symmetrical,

and the

lettuce,

tomatoes, onions, and peppers were arranged as artfully as flower bouquets. Even the bread was perfect

bubbles in the crust, no imperfections at

—no bumps or

all.

I

spotted a

wonderful-looking Veggie Delite and started to reach for

when

a

young

woman

"No, no, no!" she

in

an apron suddenly rushed over.

called out.

"Those

aren't for eating."

me

she was the food

She introduced herself and told stylist.

Her job was

to

it

make

the sandwiches look as perfect

JAREO. THE SUBWAY GUY

194

as possible for the shoot.

We

talked for a while, and

I

found out that as appetizing as these sandwiches looked, they were hardly edible because of the lacquers, varnishes,

and other chemicals she used to make them look fresh for hours on end under hot

and asked

era art.

lights,

I

my

pulled out

pocket cam-

could take her picture with her works of

if I

She smiled and said sure.

It

took hours to get things

set up, so

just

I

wandered

around, taking pictures of the director, the assistant direc-

cameramen, the soundman, the make-up

tor, the

hair stylist, the production assistants

were

finally set to go,

down

put away

I

— everyone. When we

my

camera, and

would be

I

but nothing

is

taken for granted on a

We

shoot, and every detail has to be just right. I

didn't even have any lines.

put two words together after

taken three times as long logue.

I

that day.

gained a

The

new

if

all.)

they had given

didn't have to

would have

it

me some

dia-

public thinks of the jobs in the entertainment

Subway shop,

the screen.

A picture

a lot of work, too.

it's

in concept.

the narrator says, "This

weigh 425 pounds."

of

me

is

at

As

I

walk into a

Jared.

my

diet of

sandwiches a day. As he

two

talks,

He I

low-fat, low-calorie I

used to

heaviest flashes

The narrator then explains how

pounds on a steady

my

did numer-

respect for actors and filmmakers

The commercial was simple

then take

(I

I'm sure

industry as basically a lot of fun, but

on

got

never imagined that filming a commercial

this hard,

ous takes, and

we

same thing over

to the grueling business of doing the

and over again.

artist, the

lost

245

Subway

order a sandwich to go.

I

sandwich and walk out of the shop. In the

next shot I'm carrying

my

sandwich home to

"my

house,"

— MOVE 01 WITH YOUR

which was actually

just the front of a

house

suburb on a studio backlot. That was

day to shoot, and edit

and get

final

The day anapolis.

I

all

my

was there

friends

as with the

soon wore

I

—

I

— but

had

it

took a

full

weeks

several

never really got

to

was cool

weeks went by and

didn't hear

I

to talk about

but

it,

novelty

articles, the

my regular routine. As

got back to

I

on California

developed and showed

newspaper and magazine

and

to Indi-

enjoyed myself. As

I'd really

It

home

flew back

I

my photos

and family.

off,

but

would take

we wrapped,

after

I

it

it,

in a simulated

approval from the ad agency and Subway.

got home,

I

told

was exhausted

time while

soon as

was

I

195

LIFE

from the ad agency,

assumed that the commercial had been rejected

I

for

the just

some

reason and that was the end of that.

But then one day out of the blue

"and the

We're going to

market

test

air

it

December, then take

game

got a call from

"We've got the commercial where we

Dallin. said,

I

Dan

like it,"

he

have been very positive.

results

a few times in the Chicago market in

it

national during the

Vikings-Cowboys

in January."

He wrote

gave it

me

the exact date of the football game, and

down, but

it all

seemed so unreal to me.

seen the finished product, and

TV

on a few million game.

I

marked

the date

not to think about

it,

elephant in the room.

On

the day of the

who had

sets

I

on

my 2000

which was I

It

hadn't

my

between quarters of an

face

NFL

calendar and tried

like trying to ignore the

thought about

it all

the time.

Vikings-Cowboys game,

graduated that spring

over to watch.

couldn't imagine

I

I

—

I

invited

JL

and a few other friends

turned out to be a good game, and that

196

J

ARE

D,

THE

me from

almost distracted

SUBWAY GUY

the nervous anticipation of

waiting to see myself. Almost.

By

the third quarter

changed

started to think they'd

I

minds about airing the commercial, and the guys

their

started to razz me, joking that story.

They were making

when suddenly

I

had made up the whole

a ruckus, giving

a cola commercial ended

me

a hard time

and there

I

was on

TV set.

the

"Look!"

They

all

I

shut up and watched. That half minute was to-

tally unreal. It if it

was me on the

wasn't me.

way

I

that

how

came I

wasn't sure

As soon

me!"

said. "It's

screen, but in a

it

felt as

stared at myself, being hypercritical of the

I

Do I really look like walk? Do I really make off.

liked the

if I

way

as the

TV version

that?

I

wondered.

gestures like that?

Is I

of me.

commercial ended,

my

friends

whooped

and hollered. They slapped me on the back and gave me high

fives.

"You're a "Well,

I

Jared," JL said.

star,

don't

know

"So where are the

about that,"

free

I

said.

sandwiches?"

my

brother,

Ad-

am, asked. I

laughed.

We

all

"Dream on."

had a good time, but

Subway would pay bly wouldn't see nitely over,

I

it

to air

again.

thought.

plain old Jared Fogle.

Yeah, right

.

.

.

it

It

a

I

figured that

was

it.

few more times, but

My

fifteen

was time

I

Maybe proba-

minutes were

defi-

to get back to being just

MOVE ON WITH YOUR

Move On

When you make

197

LIFE

with Your Life

a change in your personal

prepared for change in the

Your natural inclination

rest of

will

your

be to

life,

be

life.

resist

these

changes, but that can endanger your personal

transformation and trigger backsliding into your old bad habits. Friends

who

treat

you differently because you've

improved yourself aren't friends worth having. True friends are the ones

When

who

see

you

for yourself.

dealing with a friend or a loved one with a

mind

big problem, keep in as love.

Your pity

is

just

that pity

is

not the same

another form of disap-

proval. Life can be an adventure but only

to be an adventurer.

with your

life.

if

you're willing

Embrace change and move on

LESSON 13

The Harder You Work, the Luckier You Get

Finding a penny heads up or a four-leaf clover to bring

makes

you good luck, but

a difference in your

yourself. If

in truth the

life is

it

supposed

only luck that

the "luck" you create for

you want something that

hard and get

is

really matters,

work

for yourself.

Feed the flame deep within yourself, the burning desire to reach your goal. sion. Pursue

it

Make

it

your obsession and your pas-

relentlessly. In real life,

nobody

ever gets an

unexpected check in the mail that makes him an instant millionaire. Buckle

down and do whatever you have

to achieve your goal.

do

Discomfort, embarrassment, and

ridicule don't matter. Ignore these things

yourself that you're doing

A

to

and keep

telling

what has to be done.

surgeon can't heal a diseased heart without shedding

some blood.

A

baby can't come into

this

world without an

THE HARDER YOU WORK, IHE LUCKIER YOU 6ET

excruciating, messy effort.

A

199

skyscraper can't be built until

the construction crew blasts a hole for the foundation and

hauls the materials to the

site,

To bring about

truckload.

a

brick by brick, truckload by

major change

need to shed some blood, sweat, and

You might smile and thank them inside

you

will

know

that

it

There are no guarantees

your

life,

tears. After

how

achieved your goal, people will say

in

you

you've

"lucky" you are.

for the compliment, but

wasn't luck. but

in life,

It I

was hard work. think

it's

pretty

who think of themselves as losers tend to lose, and people who think of themselves as winners tend to win. History is full of people who thought big safe to say that people

and made great accomplishments or overcame incredible adversity because they maintained a positive mind.

World champion

bicyclist

cancer that had spread

Lance Armstrong had

throughout

all

his

body by the time

was diagnosed. His chance of survival was so slim didn't even

tell

him

to himself that he

the statistics. Against

was going

all

his

it

his doctors

odds, he swore

He endured

to beat his illness.

extreme treatments that ravaged

testicular

body and threatened

to

cause lasting damage. But he never gave up hope, even in his darkest hours. Eventually he licked his disease, then went to

win the world's toughest bike

de France.

A

And

he

won

it

race, the

month-long Tour

seven times in a row.

pessimist might say that people like Lance

are just lucky. Even

on

when

a person like that

by misfortune, luck rushes

in

is

Armstrong

struck

and saves the day.

down

"It's

not

the kind of thing that ever happens to average folks, like

you and me," the pessimist

says.

This negative attitude

is

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

200

many

prevalent in society, and

of us buy into

even

it

we

if

don't think we're being negative.

How many

times have you heard or even used expres-

sions like:

"She's so talented.

It's

in her genes."

"He's got everything. The guy was born with a

spoon

in his

silver

mouth."

"She always ends up landing on her

feet. She's a

born

natural."

Most aware of

of us accept this concept of 'luck even it.

I

used to

obese were lucky,

telling

to

myself that

were lucky, then

I

weren't

know

thought, because they didn't

I

what obese people had was

who

way. People

feel that

we're not

if

if

go through. But by extension

I

people without weight problems

must be cursed. And

what was the use of trying

if I

was cursed,

to lose weight or get

good

grades or succeed in a career or meet a wonderful compan-

My fate was

ion?

Fortunately

belief that

weight and

was

I

Deep within me

set. I

I

to lose.

able to pull myself out of that rut.

had always kept that spark kindled, the

someday live a

was born

could do

I

normal

life.

it,

that

I

could lose the

The hard part

turning that spark into an action plan, which

At no point did

did.

saints,

I

look to luck,

voodoo, magic wands,

fairy

fate,

I

had to do

it

myself, and

I

I

me was

eventually

gurus, patron

godmothers, or any

other external force, real or imagined, to get rut.

for

me

out of

had to work hard

at

it.

my

THE HARDER YOU WORK. IKE LUCKIER YOU GE1

I

don't believe in luck;

you work hard get "luck,"

at

call

it

that.

I

When

work.

when you

achieving your goal, that's

you want to

if

believe in hard

I

211

prefer to call

it

"success."

Perhaps the greatest challenge you face

make

ing to

can do

it.

a

huge change

who

People

long time have feel like losers

in

your

life is

when

you're try-

believing that

you

have lived with big problems for a

experience with good fortune. They

little

because they've forgotten what

like to

it's

win. They sink deeper and deeper into their hole of de-

They withdraw from

spair.

the only things they

know

ping, gambling, whatever.

The way out

for

I

the world and seek comfort in

— food, know

me was

positive feedback, not

drugs, alcohol, shop-

because

I

was

there.

hard work, usually without

knowing

for sure

if I

was

losing

weight or not. The key was keeping a positive frame of

mind and

believing that

pounds,

I

couldn't wait for luck to hit me.

my own

luck.

After

I

had

And

I

I

was on the

right track. I

At 425

had to make

did.

lost all the weight,

I

discovered that

developed an inner mechanism for making more luck.

an ingrained positive attitude and a

working hard to get what to

into place for me.

fall

things,

After

and pretty soon

my Subway

I

I

Good

was on

I

longer-obese guy.

my

just

I

had

seemed

things led to other

good

a roll.

commercial was

could go about

had

of experience at

wanted, so things

aired,

teen minutes of fame were over. Life

and

lot

I

I

figured

would

settle

my

fif-

down,

business being a regular, no-

The commercial was

first

aired

on a Sun-

JARED, THE SUBWAY GUY

202

On

day.

from

Monday

the

after,

who'd seen

friends

eted down. But

got a few congratulatory calls

I

but by Tuesday things had qui-

it,

on Wednesday afternoon

my phone

started

ringing off the hook. People from the ad agency were call-

from Subway's corporate headquarters were

ing. People

calling.

The response

to the commercial

had been "phe-

nomenal." Franchise owners had reported a sudden jump in sales, saying that

customers were coming into the shops

asking for the "Jared sandwiches." The franchise owners

shown more

started clamoring to have the commercial often.

Subway responded

to the

increased around the country.

mously claimed that it,

me.

just

guess

I

looked

all

Subway was eager

because of me.

like a real

to repeat

it,

more commercials. For

got rid of the narrator and

which worked even I

shoots, and to keep

I

No one could

person and they be-

so they signed the

let

better. Sales

getting

started

franchise owners unani-

Whatever the winning formula was,

lieved the message.

a few

was

The

me up

new commercials

me do my own

to

do

they

talking,

went up again.

comfortable with the commercial

didn't have to be led around the sets

me from

sales

but for some reason people responded to

really explain I

it

demand, and sandwich

tripping over wires.

anymore

The new commercials

were released over a period of months, and each time a

new one was

who had give

it

broadcast, the response was good. People

never eaten at

a try. Naturally,

Subway before were coming Subway was

were happy, and of course

I

in to

happy, the franchisees

was happy,

too.

THE HARDER YOU WORK, THE LUCKIER YOU GET

Over the years

made more than

I've

eign countries as well.

From time

commercials

thirty

for Subway. They've been aired nationally

and

to time

203

in a

few

Subway

fortries

other kinds of television commercials, but I've been told

when my commercials

that

You might say I'm that

worked hard

I

air, sales increase.

just a lucky guy.

to lose the weight

Or you might

and that people

say rec-

how genuine my story is. When overweight people people who just want to maintain a healthy lifestyle see

ognize or

my advice and eat Subway's low-calorie, lowsandwiches. Many people have tried my diet, and it's

me, they take fat

worked

weight. You can see

Web It

them

for them, helping

some of

these folks

seemed

as

if

in

no time

became

I

to appear

loss, invited

on her show. America had followed her long

succeeded, so I'll

a celebrity without

and weight

struggle to lose weight and cheered her it

was appropriate

that

I

on when she

was

finally

invited.

never forget the grand entrance her staff cooked up

me. They borrowed a photograph of

weight and enlarged a

on the Subway

Oprah Winfrey, who has always been keenly

interested in the issues of obesity

for

amounts of

site.

even trying.

me

lose large

wooden

little bit

me and

at

my

peak

said that

I

Oprah talked

cue,

and

I

a

had weighed 425 pounds

but had undergone a miraculous transformation.

hand gave me

my

to a life-sized paper print tacked to

it

frame. At the start of the show,

about

me

A

stage-

stepped through the photo-

graph of "fat Jared" and showed the world the 180-pound Jared.

The audience was stunned

into silence for a split sec-

— JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

204

ond. Then came the applause and cheers, led by

Oprah

herself.

Even though

been filmed for the commercials,

I'd

no experience with vous, not

and she and

a live audience, so

knowing what

let

me

my

tell

from the

straight

I

way

a

always told

I

it,

had ner-

little

Oprah was

to expect. But

story the

was

I

great,

honest

heart.

But the big surprise of the hour came when Oprah called

my

floored.

best friend, JL, out

on

They'd secretly flown JL

stage.

with me.

We

was absolutely

St.

was glad

I

Louis, where

him

to have

reminisced about our time together in high

school and college, and

me

from

in

he was attending medical school.

I

explained, how JL had stuck by

I

throughout. JL talked about

and how frustrating

it

had been

ing so hard and getting

no

all

for

results.

the diets

him

We

I

to see

had

tried

me work-

must have con-

veyed the strength of our friendship to the audience because the

final

applause during the closing credits was

thunderous. Later that

way, telling

week

me

I

got a call from an executive at Sub-

that the

day we appeared on Oprah was the

biggest single sales day for

My

fame

grew from

—I'm

there.

still I

a

little

his creator,

call

it

that

to appear at a live theater

the Insult

hand puppet, a cigar-chomping

by

ever.

embarrassed to

was asked

show hosted by Triumph a

Subway

Comic Dog. Triumph

rottweiler brought to

is

life

Robert Smigel. Triumph speaks with a Yid-

dish accent and often tradition of insult

works "blue,"

comedians

like

as they say, but in the

Don

Rickles, he

is

ab-

THE HARDER YOU WORK, 1HE LUCKIER YOU GET

solutely hilarious, hurling nonstop insults

ments.

205

and rude com-

been the butt of some of his humor on occasion,

I've

but he's so funny,

I

can't bring myself to be offended.

For this particular show, which featured comic actor Will Ferrell imitating singer Robert Goulet and the band the Fountains of

Wayne,

ater

from the lobby

and

in a

parody of

was supposed

I

to enter the the-

my

commercials,

I

was

sandwiches from a tray into the audience.

would be wrapped extra

the sandwiches

wiches. As

threw the

make one

first

flight all over the

one was a

this

those instruc-

reared back and

and

it

unraveled in mid-

tried

it

I

thought maybe that

again, tossing the next one un-

sandwich came undone, too. Lettuce,

tomatoes, onions, peppers, and turkey rained audience,

who

up with some

clever ad-libs

the rest of the sandwiches

would

down on

the

shouted in protest. Smigel/Triumph came

"sandwich malfunction" look

dience

and taped so

I

audience. Ooops. I

tight

told that

aisle,

like a football,

fluke, so

derhanded. But

was

I

Subway

to the person in charge of the sand-

it

walked down the

I

to toss

somehow

that they wouldn't fall apart. Well,

tions didn't

by Triumph,

after being introduced

riot

if I

on the spot and made the like

on the

it

was planned, but

tray.

I

was

I

left

afraid the au-

kept going.

The Comedy Central animated cartoon show South Park featured

me

as a character in

show's typically irreverent

style, trouble starts

kids of South Park misunderstand

one say that "Jared has aides," as as "Jared has

AIDS," the

one episode. In the

disease.

when

when

the

they hear some-

in helpers.

They hear

it

The "scandal" spreads

JAREO, THE SUBWAY GUY

206

and the town goes

like wildfire,

cartoon Jared calms everyone

crazy. But in the

down and

end the

straightens

it all

out.

Over the past few movies have made Brad

made

Pitt

years, various television

a guest appearance

on Friends

he played an old friend of Jennifer Aniston's terribly overweight, but

a super hunk. She asks

when he reappears

him how he

he says, "I did the Subway it

shows and

reference to me. in

which

who had

been

in her life, he's

and

lost all the weight,

diet, just like Jared. In fact,

did

I

before Jared." In the

movie Austin Powers

ers reprises his role as the

in

Goldmember, Mike My-

slovenly sumo-sized Scotsman

Fat Bastard, except this time around, Fat Bastard has

dropped a ton of weight. In one scene sandwich,

ater, eating a

he's in a

when Austin Powers

movie

asks

the-

him how

he slimmed down. In his thick Scottish burr, Fat Bastard says, "I did

On

it

just like Jared,

on the Subway

Saturday Night Live, comedian

diet."

Jimmy

Fallon ap-

peared in a skit in which he played a Jared-like character

who

eats at a place called the

"Sub Shack," where people

go to gain weight. I

Size

appeared as myself in the popular documentary Super

Me, talking to filmmaker Morgan Spurlock, who

nothing but McDonald's to see

how

it

would

fast

food for an entire month

affect his body.

The

of his thirty days of terrible eating, and lustration of

what

film it's

is

ate just

a chronicle

a powerful

a high-fat, high-calorie diet can

do

il-

in a

very short period of time.

As a

result of all this exposure, I'm often recognized

on

THE HARDER YOU WORK, THE LUCKIER YOU 6EI

217

Over

the street. People will shout out, "Hey, Jared!

here,

Jared!" Others will run up with cameras and scraps of pa-

clamoring to be photographed with

per,

tograph.

my

appreciate the recognition, but

I

when people

better

me and I

like

just introduce themselves

my

get

it

au-

much

and shake

hand. Occasionally this kind of fame can have

was

Dave Matthews concert

at a

its

downside.

I

Tiger Stadium in De-

at

2002, waiting for the show to begin. I'm a big fan

troit in

of the band, and

I

was

psyched for the show, espe-

really

we had

down

cially

because

stage.

But someone recognized me, and the word spread

quickly.

tion

It

great seats

in front of the

wasn't long before the whole crowd in

my

sec-

was chanting, "Jared! Jared! Jared!" Thankfully

it

stopped before the band took the stage, but as a precaution

I

show

before the end of the

left

to avoid being

swarmed. All this public recognition has been great, but it

compares to the day

torch on

Games

its

I

was allowed

way cross-country Lake

in Salt

City.

none of

Olympic

2002 Winter Olympic

to the

Though

to carry the

I

only carried

for a

it

quarter of a mile through the Broad Ripple section of Indianapolis,

it

took several weeks of preparation.

asked to wear an all-white

and white gloves.

how

torch and

came,

I

I

to keep

it

I

took

the people

it

carried

I

out.

to carry the

When the day The man who and

as

presence of

all

in a wheelchair,

could

it

how

anticipation.

me was

from him,

who had

in

from going

was thrumming with

was

including a white hat

was instructed

handed off the torch to soon as

outfit,

I

feel the

so far coursing through

my

JAHED. THE SUBWAY GUY

208

body.

my at

did a slow, deliberate jog, holding the torch over

I

The people who

head.

Subway guy; they were looking

Jared the

and what

at the

torch

symbolized just as they should have been.

it

When I handed

it

off to the next person in the relay,

glowing with a

still

lined the route weren't looking

warm

feeling

I

was

from being

a small part

Hawaii,

happened to

of something great.

Once when

was on vacation

I

in

be standing in a hotel breakfast-buffet line a shy

little girl

in front of

when

I

noticed

me, hiding behind her daddy's

She must have been about four years old, and she

legs.

We made

was absolutely adorable.

waved

me

at

to

make

sure

I

was

did this for a couple of minutes

figured out that's

eye contact, and

I

to her. She immediately hid behind her father, then

looked up

We

I

when

still

paying attention.

when

her father finally

what was going on. He turned around, and I

realized that the

little girl's

father

was Jerry

Seinfeld. I

was

speechless, but he wasn't.

his finger at

Jared. I

"I

know who you

squinted and pointed

are," he said. "You're

the commercials."

bashfully admitted that he

We in

From

me.

He

shook hands, and he

was

said,

right.

"You are the biggest thing

American pop culture." Well,

when

a

I

didn't

mega

know

exactly

what

to say to that, but

celebrity like Jerry Seinfeld recognizes you,

I

guess that's something.

These brushes with big names have been a

lot

of fun,

but there are some serious issues that need addressing in

THE HARDER YOU WORK, IHE LUCKIER YOU 6EI

and

this country,

always try to use

I

thing constructive.

level

fame to do some-

of public ignorance concern-

most basic matters of health and

ing the

The

The

my

209

vast majority of people in

diet

is

astounding.

America has no idea how

harmful a regular diet of Whoppers and Big Macs and about everything

else that's served in fast-food restaurants

can be. Grocery stores are the products they

fall

sell

just as culpable

into that category.

I

want everyone

they're putting into their bodies,

overcome the adverse

2003

In

I

effects of

was asked

School.

and

"lite" or

I

want

them

my

at

Harvard University Medical

The doctors and other health professionals who

and

my

life

what

to help them

misinformed consumption.

knew

figures about obesity in children, but

rience

of

"healthy"

to be aware of

attended were experts in their fields and

and

many

to participate in a panel discus-

on childhood obesity

sion

because

are loaded with unnecessary fat and

Even some products marked

calories.

just

I

was

able to put a face

I

all

the facts

had the expe-

on the problem.

I

told

story and explained the role that food played in

as

I

was growing up, and

think they

I

came away

from the conference with a new understanding of the emotions and thought processes that create young overeaters.

In

association with

Subway,

I

started

the

Subway

F.R.E.S.H. Steps Campaign in 2004. F.R.E.S.H. stands for Feel Responsible, Energized, Satisfied,

and Happy,

and the program encourages families to learn about healthy eating choices and incorporate them into their lives.

Our

goal

is

to stop the increase in childhood obesity

JAREO, THE SUBWAY 6UY

210

and help people achieve healthier futures. Today, one out of three children in America

becoming overweight. This

overweight or

is

is

not acceptable. As part of

Campaign,

the F.R.E.S.H. Steps

at risk of

speak

I

at schools all

around the country, spreading the word about the dangers of unhealthy eating. Everyplace

go there are

I

lots of over-

weight kids and far too many obese kids, and

my

heart to see them.

in their faces.

ents do, too.

story scares

them

—

I

breaks

can see

it

But they need to be scared, and their par-

No

one should wait

400-plus pounds the

about

My

it

way

until they tip the scale at

did before they do something

I

it.

Another project I'm involved

in

the Jared Foundation,

is

money

a nonprofit corporation that raises

for

programs

that fight the spread of childhood obesity, particularly in

the inner cities. Sad to say, but the rate of obesity

higher

among

even

is

blacks, Hispanics, and Native Americans.

Children are not

my

only concern.

I

also participate in

American Heart Association's Heart Walk program,

the

which

raises

money

to

combat heart disease and

Heart Walks have taken place

in

more than 750

across the nation. Besides raising money, these

promote physical

activity

stroke.

and heart-healthy

cities

5K walks

living for the

whole family. More than a million people participate these events every year, and I'm

walks as often as I

my

continue to

I

I

I

lead

can.

work hard

success has allowed

health as well.

proud to say that

in

at

me

maintaining

my weight,

and

to help others improve their

feel privileged to

portunity to help others succeed.

have been given the opIf

you've been battling

THE HARDER YOU WORK, THE LUCKIER YOU GET

with your weight or any other problem this

your

in

211

your

life, I

book has inspired you and shown you how

own "good

to

hope

make

luck."

Be well, be healthy, and be happy.

The Harder You Work, the Luckier You Get

•

Luck

is

a myth.

important,

If

you want something

work hard and

get

it

that's really

for yourself.

•

Pursue your goal with passion. Never give up.

•

Positive thinking

to success.

and hard work are the

real keys

Jared's

1

3 Lessons for

Your

1.

Open your the

first

your 2.

Life, in

Review

eyes. Admitting that

crucial step

Changing

you have a problem

toward making big changes

is

in

life.

Do something. When

you're stuck in a rut, try some-

thing, anything, to get yourself out of

it.

Be willing to

risk failure. 3.

Reach

for the stars. Set

your sights high. Ambitious

goals cannot be ignored. Be the hero of your

own

life

and go for the gold. 4.

Find your personal spark.

Take a good hard look

then turn them inside out and

your worst

fears,

them work

for you. For example,

that

if

you get any bigger,

clothes at the big

Think about

and

tall

you'll

start

fear

buying

men's shop or Lane Bryant.

that every time you're

tening, unhealthy foods.

make

hang on to your have to

at

tempted to eat

fat-

—

1

JAREO'S 13 LESSONS FOR CHANGING YOUR

214

5.

One

size doesn't

fit all.

REVIEW

LIFE, IN

Analyze your problem and cre-

ate a plan of action that

you

work uniquely

feel will

for

you. Think outside the box. 6.

Change your mind

to

change your

life.

Get

rid of pre-

conceived notions that keep you from reaching your goal

—such

hunger

7.

as,

"Diet soda tastes bad" and "Feeling

physically dangerous"

is

—so that you can do

what has

to be done.

Don't

anyone. You're doing this for yourself, not the

tell

rest of the

until

you

world, so don't

tell

anyone about

start to see results. In this

it

at least

way you can avoid

being embarrassed and discouraged by failure. 8.

See the

big picture.

Having too much information can

lead to quitting. Don't

micromanage your

situation,

weighing yourself every day and judging yourself by

Remember,

what the

scale says.

progress

toward your goal,

it's

it's

not

how

how

fast

steadily

you you

progress. 9.

Throw out conventional wisdom. Forget what everyone says

you should do.

If it

doesn't

make

sense to you,

it

won't work. Follow the path that works for you. 10.

Fill

the void. Find distractions that will keep you from

falling

back into your old patterns and bad

habits. This

might involve eliminating the associations these diversions might have with the habits you

member,

there's

no law

want

that says a

to kick. Re-

movie can't be

enjoyed without a bucket of hot-buttered popcorn and a 1

.

liter

of Coke.

Change

is

for

life.

Achieving your goal

is

not the end

JAHED'S 13 LESSONS FOR CHANGING YOUR

1 2.

it's

the beginning of a

off

now.

Move on if it

life.

Embrace

Don't look back. Life

The harder you work, the fall

life.

means accepting changes

ships. 13.

with your

new

in

is

own

luck.

tinue to reap the rewards.

215

start slacking

your personal relation-

an adventure

luckier

Keep working

Don't

REVIEW

the change in you, even

out of the sky. You have to

your

LIFE. IN

at

you

get.

—take

it.

Luck doesn't

work hard and make it,

and you

will con-

Frequently Asked Questions

Wherever

I

that weight

travel,

people stop and ask

and what

my

the questions I'm asked

life is like

most

Q: What was your waist

me how

I

lost all

now. Here are some of

frequently.

when you weighed 425

size

pounds? A: 60 inches.

Q: Did you

really lose

245 pounds eating

just

Subway

sandwiches? A: Yes.

I

ate a 6-inch turkey

sub for lunch and a 12-inch

Veggie Delite for dinner, and

I

had

diet

soda and a small

bag of baked chips or pretzels with each meal. put cheese, mayo, or tard,

and

I

oil

on

my

I

never

sandwiches, just mus-

never snacked between meals.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

218

Q: Which bread was your favorite? A: Back in those days Subway offered only two choices:

white and wheat. Nutritionally they're almost identical so

From

switched off between the two.

I

A

a kid, I've always loved bread.

bohydrates, but

one of

my

my Subway

favorite foods,

lot

the time

was

of diets forbid car-

me

allowed

diet

I

which helped me

to have

my

stick to

weight-loss program.

Q: Can

I

do what you did? Will

A: There's no reason

why

it

work

it

me?

shouldn't, but you absolutely

must consult your doctor and start

for

a dietician before

you

any kind of weight-loss program. What works for

one person might not work as well for another.

Q:

Do

I

have to go to a Subway shop? Can't

same kind of sandwiches A: Sure,

if

at

I

make

the

home?

you don't mind doing

all

the work. Cutting

all

those vegetables for the Veggie Delite will take some

time and effort.

Q: Did you ever get sick of Subway sandwiches? A: No, not

really.

times, but

with

I

craved some variety in

was motivated

I

my two

sandwich

my

diet

to lose weight, so

I

somestuck

selections.

Q: Did you ever get cravings to snack? A: In the beginning snack, but

I

when

I

started the diet,

I

wanted

fought the urges and stayed hungry until

was mealtime.

to it

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q: Did people

you

treat

differently

219

you

after

lost

the

weight? A: Yes, because

pounds. The

was almost

I

fat

a

new person

after

I

shed 245

Jared was withdrawn and didn't get out

much. The trim Jared got out more and eventually gained some fame. of

me

I

I

think you can guess which version

prefer.

Q: You must have had a all

that weight.

was

What

Most

A: Nothing.

of

of sagging skin

did you do about

went away on

it

young and

still

lot

my

skin

its

was very

when you

lost

it?

own

because

elastic.

I

I

never

considered surgery to take care of the problem.

Q: Subway has added some new sandwiches since you

went on your

diet.

What's your current favorite?

A: Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki. just

380

calories

Q: What exactly

is

and 5 grams of

A

6-inch sandwich has

fat.

your relationship with Subway? Are

you an employee? A: I'm not an employee of the cial

company

A:

offi-

spokesperson. I'm considered a freelance contractor.

Q: People must ask for your autograph

was

or even their

the weirdest thing

A man

once asked

Model T

Ford.

sisted, so

I

I

me

all

the time.

What

you ever autographed? to autograph his pristine, vintage

was very reluctant to do

it,

but he in-

signed the hood with a black marker.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

220

Q: Whenever you make a personal appearance, you bring along a huge pair of jeans to show

Were those pants

big

you were.

really yours?

A: Yes, they were, and I

how

I

take them with

me

wherever

I

go.

have to wash them every couple of months because

make

so

many appearances with them. They

start to smell even

I

eventually

though no one wears them anymore.

(continued from frontflap)

•

One

size doesn't

everyone

•

else

fit all

may

plan that works for

(a

not work for you)

Change your mind

to

change your life (grab the

power of determination) •

The

harder you work, the luckier you get

(nobody has success drop

in their lap)

JArvrLL) r OCjrJLrv Subway advertisements

began appearing

in

in 2000, after spectac-

ular weight loss thanks to eating the chain's

sandwiches.

and

travels

He

lives in Indianapolis, Indiana,

around the country on

a vigorous

speaking and personal-appearance schedule.

ANTHONY BRUNO u of the novels Seven and nonfiction

titles

the

author

Hot Fudge and

The Iceman and The

the

Seekers.

Propei He

lives in

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

San]V

Pub JACKET DESIGN BY JENNIFER CARROW JACKET PHOTOGRAPH © DEBORAH FEINGOLD

Libr

www.stmartins.com

ST. 175

MARTIN'S PRESS

FIFTH AVENUE,

NEW

YORK,

N.Y.

IOOIO

AND COMPANY, LTD. PRINTED IN TDK UNITED STATES OF AMERICA DISTRIBUTED

IN

CANADA

BY H.B.FENN

A DIET BOOK! NOT A DIET BOOK! NOT A DIET BOOK! San Mateo Public Library

3 9047 06743178 9

Everyone Recognize jaicu

Now Hear What He

Has

Say

to

DO SOMETHING Don't

limit

Try

yourself to

one approach.

of different things.

lots

DON'T

ANYONE

TELL

Don't set yourself up for criticism that could

discourage you from achieving your goal.

SEE THE BIG PICTURE Fast starts lead to quick burnouts, but steady

improvement leads

to

permanent change.

THROW OUT CONVENTIONAL WISDOM The program will

work

FILL People spend a

lot

for

change

that

you must come from you.

for

THE VOID

of time indulging

that time has to

be

filled

in their

bad

by something

ISBN 0-312-35358-8

52295>

9

7 8031

2"3

5 3 5

8

2'

habits.

else.