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PETER DE JONG

INSOO KIM BERG

INTERVIE ING FOR SOLUTIONS FOURTH EDITION

Interviewing for Solutions

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Interviewing for Solutions FOURTH ED I TION

PETER DE JONG Calvin College

INSOO KIM BERG Brief Family Therapy Center

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BROOKS/COLE (ENGAGE Learning·

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This is an electronic version of the print 1ex1book. Due 10 electronic rights restrictions, some third pany content may be suppressed. &li1orial review has deemed that any suppressed content does 001 materially affect the overall learning experience. The publisher reserves the right 10 remove content from this Lille at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it For valuable information on pricing, previous editions, changes 10 current editions, and al1ema1e formats, please visit www.cengage.com/hjgheced 10 search by ISBN#, author, Lille, or keyword for materials in your areas of interest.

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~.. I

BROOKS/COLE

CENGAGE Learning·

Interviewing for Solutions. Fourth Edition

Peter De Jong and lnsoo Kim Berg

Acquiring Editor: Seth Dobrin Assistant Editor: Naomi Dreyer

Editorial Assistant: Suzanna Kincaid

C> 2013, 2008 Brooks/Cole, (engage Learning ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this work covered by the copyright herein may be reproduced, transmitted. stored, or used

in any form or by any means graphic. electronic, or mechanical. including but not limited to photocopying, recording. scanning, digitizing, taping. Web distribution, information networks, or information storage and retrieval systems., except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Media Editor: Elizabeth Momb CL Manufacturing Planner: Judy Inouye

Rights Acquisitions Specialist: Tom McDonough Cover Image: Shutterstock

Fa prOCLlct information and technology assistance. contact us at Cengage learning Custom« & Sales Support, 1·800-354·9706. For permission to use material from this text or produc~ submit all requests online at www.cengage.com/permissions. Further permissions questions can be e·mailed to [email protected].

Copyright: © Floris Slooff/ Shutterstock

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011942687

Art and Cover Direction.

ISBN-13: 978-1-111·72220·3

Production Management. and Composition: PreMediaGlobal

ISBN·lO: 1·111·72220-X Brooks/ Cole 20 Davis Drive

Belmont, CA 94002-3098 USA (engage Leaming is a leadng provider of customized learning solutions with office locations around the globe, including Singapore, the United l(;ngdom, Australia, Mexico, Brazil, and Japan.

Locate your local office at www.cengage.com/global. Cengage Leaming products are represented in Canada by Nelson Education, Ltd To learn more about Brooks/Cole, visit www .cengage.com./brookscole Purchase any of our products at your local college store or at our preferred online store www.cengagebrain.com.

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Contents

PREFAC E xvii ABOUT THE AUTHORS

xxiii

ABOUT THE CHAPTER 14 CONTRIBUTORS

1

xxv

From Proble m Solving to Solution Building

1

H elping as Problen1 Solving 5

11,e Stages of Problem Solvi11g

.>

A Caveat: 11,e L11por1mue of Tnist Deve/opme11t '11,e 1\1/edital .Wodel

.>

6

Problem Solvi11g: Tite Paradigm of rl,e Helpi11g Professio11s H elping as Solution Building 8

Co11tenis abo111 1/,e Proble111-So/1,i11g Paradigm History of So/111io11 811ildi11g

2

I0

Solution Building: The Basics A Second lntervie,v ,vitb Rosie

13 13

Solution-Building lntervie,ving Activities The Stages of Solution Building

Destribi11g rite Problem

8

16

17

17

Developing ~Vell-Fon11ed Goals E.:o:p/ori11g for Exteptio11s

18

E11d-of-Sessio11 Feedback

18

Eva/11ari11g Clie111 Progress

17

18

18

The Client as Expen V

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6

vi

CONTENTS

3

Skills for Not Knowing and Leading from One Step Behind 20 Basic lnrervie,ving Skills 21 Lis1e11i11g far l,v/,o a11d Ml/1a1 Are l111porra111 10 the Client iY01iri11g Hi111s of Po$$ibiliry Co111pHi11g Q11es1io11s Ge11i11g Derails

22

24

26

&/10i11g Clie111s' Key ~Vords

27

b1torporari11g Clie,11s' ~Vords

28

Ope11 a11d Closed Q11es1io11s

29

S11111111arizi,,g

30

Paraphrasi11g

32

11,e Use of Sile11ce

33

Praai1io11ers' 1Yo11vt'Tbal Bel,avior

34

1'io1id11g Clie111s' No11verbal Behavior Se!f-Disdosi,,g

36

37

Co111pli111e111i11g

37

Affin11i1,g Clie111s' Perreprio,u i\iarural Emparl,y 1Yon11alizi11g

21

39

42

45

Re111111i1,g the FOl11s 10 rl,e C/ie,11

48

Explori,,g Clie111 1\ilea11i,,gs Re/a1io11ship Q11es1io11s

46

49

A111pl!fyi11g Sol111io11 Talk

50

Solution Building as a Collaborative Conversation: "Leading fro1n One Step Behind" 53

Co1111111111ira1io11 as Collaborative Gro1111di1,g

54

Lis1e11, &lea, a11d Build

4

53

56

Getting Started: How to Pay Attention to What the Client Wants S9 When You First Meer Your Client

59

1'la111es, l11rrod11aio11s, and Us1e11i11gfar Hi111s qf Possibility Clarifyi,,g How Yo11 ~Vork Problent Description

61

62

Aski11g for Clie111 Perreprio,u a11d Respeai11g Clie111 Ln11g11age

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62

vii

CONTEN TS

W1iat ls 1/,e Clie11r's U11dersta11di11g of How tl,e Problem A.ffeas the Clie111? 63 W1iat Has the Client Tried So Far 17,at Has &en Useji1/> W1iar ls A1osr lmporta,rr _for the C/ie,rr ro Work 011 First? H o,v

10

Work ,vich Clients on \Vhat They Might Want

64 65 65

W1ze11 C/i,,rrs ~Va,rr Something a11d See 171e111se/11es as Part of a Solu1io11 66 A Word of Ca111io11

67

W11e11 Clie111s Soy Someone Else l\'eeds 10 Change

67

W11e11 Clit'1rrs See,n U11interrsred or Resisra11t 10 Cl1augi11g W1iar

Wa111 W1rar ls l\'or Good far 17,em?

,·01 Wa111 Any1l1i11g at All'

78

Influencing Client Cooperation and Motivation

78

W1,ar

5

if Clients if Clie111s

Do

70

77

How to Amplify What Clients Want: The Miracle Question 82 Characteristics of \Vell- Fonned Goals

lmponmue 10 1/,e Clie111 /111eraaio11al Ten11s

84

84

85

Si1ua1io11al Fearures 85 11,e Presl'11