In Her Father's Eyes: A Childhood Extinguished by the Holocaust [1 ed.] 9780813545561, 9780813543765

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In Her Father’s Eyes

In Her Father’s Eyes A Childhood Extinguished by the Holocaust

Béla Weichherz Translated, edited, and introduced by Daniel H. Magilow

Rutgers University Press new brunswick, new jersey, and london

library of congress cataloging-in-publication data

Weichherz, Béla. In her father’s eyes : a childhood extinguished by the Holocaust / Béla Weichherz ; translated, edited, and introduced by Daniel H. Magilow. p. cm. Diary/baby book by a Slovak Jew about his daughter. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978–0–8135–4376–5 (hardcover : alk. paper) 1. Weichherz, Béla. 2. Weichherz, Kitty, 1929–1942. 3. Jews—Slovakia—Bratislava— Biography. 4. Jewish children in the Holocaust—Slovakia—Bratislava—Biography. 5. Holocaust, Jewish (1939–1945)—Slovakia—Bratislava—Personal narratives. 6. Fathers and daughters. 7. Bratislava (Slovakia)—Biography. I. Title. DS135.S553W459 2008 940.53'18092—dc22 [B] 2008000902 A British Cataloging-in-Publication record for this book is available from the British Library. This book was made possible, in part, by funds granted to the editor through a Pearl Resnick Postdoctoral Fellowship at the Center for Advanced Holocaust Studies, United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. The statements made and views expressed, however, are solely the responsibility of the editor. The Kitty Weichherz diary and images, part of the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum’s collection, are used with the permission of the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, Washington, D.C. Copyright © 2008 by Daniel H. Magilow All rights reserved No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher. Please contact Rutgers University Press, 100 Joyce Kilmer Avenue, Piscataway, NJ 08854–8099. The only exception to this prohibition is “fair use” as defined by U.S. copyright law. Visit our Web site: http://rutgerspress.rutgers.edu text design and composition by jenny dossin

Manufactured in the United States of America

Contents

Acknowledgments An Introduction to In Her Father’s Eyes Note on the Photographs

vii 3 23

Notebook 1 march 1929–may 1933

25

Notebook 2 june 1933–june 1942

97

Afterword

163

Notes

167

Index

175

Acknowledgments

This edition would not have been possible without the generous financial and intellectual support of many individuals and institutions. Special thanks are due to several past and current staff members at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, specifically Michlean Amir, Judy Cohen, Genya Markon, and David Chertudi. Additional recognition is due to the Humanities Initiative and the Department of Modern Foreign Languages and Literatures at the University of Tennessee for their generous financial support of this project. The manuscript and introduction have benefited enormously from the input of Judith Gerson, Mark Magilow, Susan Magilow, Avinoam J. Patt, Gilya G. Schmidt, Laura Levitt, Michael Berenbaum, Simone Schweber, and Dawn Potter. Special thanks are due to Jennifer Rodgers, Elissa Mailänder-Koslov, and Daniel Brewing for their invaluable help with translation. And a final thank you to Judith Landshut, the great-niece of Béla Weichherz, for her help in deciphering certain allusions in the text.

In Her Father’s Eyes

An Introduction to In Her Father’s Eyes

The Encyclopedia of the Dead To understand why it is valuable to read about the life so painstakingly recorded in In Her Father’s Eyes, it is useful to begin not in the realm of factual history but in the world of fantastic fiction. In his 1983 short story “The Encyclopedia of the Dead,” the late Yugoslav writer Danilo Kiš, whose father died in the Holocaust, imagines a massive encyclopedia, thousands of volumes long and housed in the dusty stacks of a Swedish library, that contains articles about people who have lived and died. The story’s narrator searches the encyclopedia and finds the entry about her father, who has recently died. Although it is only five or six pages long, the meticulously detailed essay documents the entirety of her father’s sixty-nine years. To the narrator’s surprise, no detail is too small for the encyclopedia. She reads of his childhood home, his teachers, his love of sledding and trout fishing, his first cigarette, his first encounter with his future wife—even of the cows that mooed in the barns of his childhood village. The concise, eloquently written text covers his entire existence. In its concluding lines, it even names the priest who administered last rites, lists all who attended the funeral, and reproduces the entire text of the newspaper obituary. But Kiš’s marvelous encyclopedia does not have articles about everyone. It contains no entries about people who appear in any other encyclopedia. It features no politicians, generals, sports heroes, entertainers, or other famous or even semi-famous individuals. It concerns itself exclusively with those who were obscure and unknown when alive. Kiš’s narrator surmises, “It is the work of a religious organization or sect whose democratic program stresses an egalitarian vision of the world of the dead, a vision that is doubtless inspired by some biblical precept, and aims at redressing human injustices and granting all God’s creatures an equal place in eternity.”1

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It is possible to imagine In Her Father’s Eyes as an incomplete rough draft of Kiš’s encyclopedic entry for Katharina “Kitty” Weichherz (1929– 1942). Kitty was a young Jewish girl from Bratislava (known as Pressburg in German), the capital of Slovakia (then Czechoslovakia), who died in a Nazi death camp along with most of her immediate and extended family. Her father, Vojtech (“Béla”) Weichherz, was a traveling salesman for the Philips Company. Her mother, Esti Weichherz, was a housewife who, because of her husband’s frequent business travel, did much of the work of raising their only daughter. The Weichherzes were highly acculturated middle-class Jews with little active involvement in the Jewish religion or the practices of Jewish life. In Her Father’s Eyes rarely mentions Passover, Hanukah, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, or any other principal date on the Jewish calendar. The family began to identify actively with Judaism only after anti-Semitic persecution forced them to embrace it as an identity. Like many secular Jews in Central Europe at the time, they spoke the local vernacular (in their case, Slovak), but culturally they gravitated to Hungarian and German, the latter of which they spoke at home. Kitty Weichherz’s life stands out because, even though she never achieved public notoriety, she was the subject of an extensive narrative, much like the father in Danilo Kiš’s tale. As loving parents do, Béla Weichherz took a profound interest in his child’s life. But unlike most fathers, he possessed a novelist’s flair for documenting that life in all of its colorful details. He also had a diarist’s compulsion to record it regularly. From Kitty’s birth until the family’s deportation on June 6, 1942, probably to the Sobibór death camp, Béla tracked his daughter’s childhood in extraordinary detail in a baby book— or as he called it, Kitty’s Tagebuch, meaning “journal” or “diary.” Béla’s journal was not the work of a father who simply doted on his daughter. He portrayed Kitty as a complex person with both virtues and vices. He paid as much attention to her intelligence and capacity for tenderness as to her childhood illnesses and tantrums. Nor did he limit this record of his daughter’s life to the written word. The diary’s two notebooks include several of Kitty’s drawings, some early attempts at handwriting, and even the handmade trilingual birthday card she made for her father in 1941. Béla also pasted more than 250 photographs onto the album pages. In the process he created a deeply moving and visually stunning family heirloom. In these notebooks, Kitty is both the subject of a homemade biography and the object of her father’s loving and at times seemingly obsessive

Introduction

attention. Yet his reasons for dedicating so much energy to this project remain a mystery: there are no known external sources that illuminate their relationship with greater qualitative detail than the notebooks do themselves. Did Béla maintain this record to compensate for the fact that, as a traveling salesman, he was at home “only two days a week” and thus could not spend as much time with his daughter as he might have wanted? Why did he take on a kind of project more often associated with mothers than fathers? Are the notebooks simply a gesture of one father’s profound love for his only child? How can one explain his decision to write about Kitty’s budding sexuality? What exactly was the father-daughter relationship like? These questions offer much room for speculation but, without corroborating information, little room for certainty. Nevertheless, the fact remains that Kitty Weichherz’s diary exposes her life to a most extraordinary degree.

Baby Books and Scientific Motherhood In reconstructing the life of an otherwise anonymous child, In Her Father’s Eyes is not unique as a text. In his recent Im Tunnel: Das Kurze Leben der Marion Samuel, 1931–1943 (Into the Tunnel: The Short Life of Marion Samuel, 1931–1943), journalist Götz Aly pieces together archival sources to re-create the life of a twelve-year-old Jewish girl who was transported to Auschwitz on March 3, 1943.2 Aly undertook his biography of this unknown girl and her family after receiving the 2003 Marion Samuel Prize from the German Remembrance Foundation and learning that Marion had been randomly chosen as the prize’s namesake as a way to encourage remembrance of all Holocaust victims. By compiling information about her daily life from bureaucratic documents, he has extricated her from anonymity. Marion Samuel becomes proof of Josef Stalin’s deeply cynical statement that “a single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.” But In Her Father’s Eyes is unique in that neither the author of the text nor its subject survived the Holocaust. Unlike Marion’s story, Kitty’s narrative was constructed in her own lifetime by someone who knew and lived with her. Yet Béla’s choice of the word Tagebuch in describing his notebooks (he explicitly uses the term at least twice) is something of a misnomer, at least in our contemporary understanding of the English equivalent, diary. Derived from the Latin word for “day,” a diary connotes

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a text in which a person records daily events and reflections. Although Kitty’s surviving descendants have also described Béla’s book as a diary, his chronicle of his daughter’s life often veers into family biography and, particularly near its end, his own autobiography. Aside from some first attempts at drawing and handwriting, Kitty herself plays almost no authorial role. Despite Béla’s designation of these notebooks as a Tagebuch, they more closely resemble what in English we know as a baby book or, in child development circles, a baby diary or baby biography. In “The Observing Eye: A Century of Baby Diaries,” psychologists Doris B. Wallace, Margery B. Franklin, and Robert T. Keegan distinguish among three discrete types of life narratives: domestic, scientific, and educational baby diaries.3 Domestic diaries are parents’ (usually mothers’) private accounts of their babies’ lives. Like all three baby diary “genres,” they record when a child achieves certain milestones: first step, first word, first tooth, and so forth.4 Unlike educational or scientific baby diaries, however, domestic diaries have no intent to advance research but serve primarily as personal mementos for loving parents; and their history extends well before the modern era. In Her Father’s Eyes is first and foremost a domestic diary, a text that Béla Weichherz wrote for himself, his daughter, and possibly their descendants. By his time, however, the reasons for keeping detailed records about small children were changing. In the late nineteenth and early twentieth century, pedagogues and psychologists in Western Europe and the United States had produced a veritable canon of scientific and educational baby diary literature. Thus, even as domestic texts, Béla’s notebooks owe much to these long-term studies of individual lives “directed toward noting and classifying phenomena of early behavior, with the explicit intent of contributing to scientific [or educational] research.”5 For instance, beginning in late 1839, Charles Darwin recorded observations about his newborn son William Erasmus.6 Many years later, in 1877, Darwin summarized these recollections in a journal article, a response to a similar piece by French philosopher and literary critic Hippolyte Taine, who had just published an account of his daughter’s linguistic development during her first eighteen months. Darwin and Taine started their baby diaries to benefit their own research. Whereas Taine sought clues about how children acquire language, Darwin hoped that any developmental similarities he might observe between a human child and other animals would buttress his controversial theories about the common ancestors of diverse

Introduction

species. Such scientific interest in baby biographies created valuable primary sources for the nascent fields of evolutionary biology, child psychology, and linguistics in the late nineteenth century. In Her Father’s Eyes harbors no such pretensions to science, but it does owe much to the tradition of the educational diary. By meticulously chronicling and studying single lives, the creators of educational diaries hoped they could reform and improve the institution of parenthood. To this end, educational diaries, many composed by psychologists and educational reformers who were themselves new parents, examined how specific child-rearing strategies impeded or helped a child’s development. In Die Seele des Kindes [The Soul of the Child ], for example, pioneering child psychologist Wilhelm Preyer examined his son’s first three years, hoping to discern how environmental factors affect children.7 His work influenced many subsequent attempts to record the lives of young children systematically.8 The study of children’s lives for the purpose of learning how to be a better parent typifies a broader trend of the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, which historian Rima Apple has termed scientific motherhood. By applying scientifically tested principles about nutrition and behavior to child rearing, researchers interested in this “ideology . . . elevated the nurturing of children to the status of a profession.”9 The preprinted feeding charts in In Her Father’s Eyes as well as Béla’s own accountant-like tables of Kitty’s milk intake testify to attempts at transforming the frequently chaotic and irrational experience of parenthood into something more orderly. Béla and Esti recorded their daughter’s milk intake, milligram by milligram, feeding by feeding, as if she were the subject of a scientific experiment. As their meticulous records suggest, the ideology of scientific motherhood had become broadly popular in Western Europe and the United States. By 1946, its pervasiveness had propelled Dr. Benjamin Spock’s The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care to the top of the bestseller lists.10 In Her Father’s Eyes does more than simply list milestones, but such firsts do form its primary narrative skeleton. This method accorded with what early twentieth-century child psychologists recommended as the best way to observe one’s own baby. An appendix to Jessie Chase Fenton’s 1925 A Practical Psychology of Babyhood, for instance, provided parents with a twenty-seven-page questionnaire that they could use to make their own baby biographies, which would be “of permanent interest and

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Introduction

value.”11 Fenton’s eight-part questionnaire includes space to write down “Observations Immediately after Birth” as well as those about “Development of the Senses,” “The Use of the Hands,” “Locomotion and Balance,” “Language,” “Intellectual Development,” “Emotional Development,” and “Play and Other Activities.” Her questionnaire reads almost like an outline for Béla Weichherz’s notebooks. Of particular interest is her suggestion that “this record may be supplemented by a special notebook, if the parents have the time to keep a more exhaustive account of the child’s progress.” Although Kitty’s parents probably did not read Fenton’s book, they were certainly familiar with similar ones. Dr. Eugen Neumann, the Jewish pediatrician who delivered Kitty Weichherz and shared her fate in the Holocaust, would also have known them well.

From Baby Diary to Local History Béla Weichherz may have started his journal in the spirit of domestic baby biography and scientific motherhood, but his focus changed with Hitler’s rise to power in neighboring Germany and Central Europe’s descent into political chaos. Its final pages, in particular, spend less time recording Kitty’s personal development and more time commenting on political developments. Consider, for instance, the difference in tone and subject matter between prewar and wartime entries. On January 6, 1936, well before the situation in Czechoslovakia had deteriorated, Béla discusses the details of Kitty’s intellectual growth: She can write all of the big, printed letters with ease, and has taken note of the structure of lots of words. She can count to 20 and she can tell time if the clock has Arabic numerals. Her growing intellect has as its consequence that she is flippant and cheeky and she’s not embarrassed to tell a lie. This naturally brings on many punishments and spankings.

By the diary’s end, however, Béla has shifted away from such everyday moments in Kitty’s life. His final entries record his descent into financial destitution, conscription into forced labor, and overall despondency and depression. Where previously he writes with microscopic detail about his daughter, the January 27, 1941, entry compresses sixteen months of history into seven stark sentences:

Introduction

Poland was attacked during the night of September 1, 1939, by Germany. We experienced nothing of it in Čadca. Not a shot could be heard. We simply saw the endless rows of marching soldiers, artillery, and other military formations as they passed by. Later, the transports of the wounded came in the opposite direction. Poland was finished off in 18 days. Germany occupied Poland all the way to Warsaw and made a “General Gouvernment” out of it. Russia took the rest for itself. England and France declared war on Germany, although initially neither country did anything.

Although the contrast in such passages reveals that Béla Weichherz’s talents as a writer lay in his attention to detail rather than his skill at rendering broad historical events, these final entries yield important insights on the fate of Slovakia’s Jews during the Holocaust and retroactively reframe the preceding 160. What once seemed like a simple narration of the life of a middle-class girl in the 1930s has been transformed into a memoir of acculturated Jewish life in Slovakia before the Holocaust. The diary shifts between personal and political, private and public, and thereby extends its relevance beyond the immediate circle of the Weichherz family. Béla’s diary is a paradoxical document, at once a Holocaust memoir and a text that has almost nothing to do with the genocide of European Jewry. To a reader with the privileged position of historical hindsight, In Her Father’s Eyes unfolds toward a seemingly inevitable death. Her fate lurks menacingly on every page; and her family’s premature, cruel, and systematic destruction furnishes the diary with both an endpoint and a narrative trajectory. Yet the Holocaust is not the focus of the diary because Béla Weichherz could not see into the future. Thus, it presents an exceptional opportunity to reflect on what narrative theorist Michael André Bernstein terms backshadowing—the tendency to judge participants in historical cataclysms (usually the Holocaust) as if they should have known what was to come.12 Although the Holocaust may retrospectively provide a frame of reference and horizon of expectation through which to read this journal, Béla simply sought to write about Kitty’s life as she grew up. He would surely have been horrified to learn that his diary would one day be housed in a museum that memorializes the systematic mass murder of people whose only crime was having been born. Political events creep into Béla’s narrative only rarely and, for the most

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Introduction

part, only if they relate directly to Kitty’s personal development. When, for instance, the eight-and-a-half-year-old Kitty says during the 1938 elections, “Papa, you have to vote either for list 5 (Jewish) or 13 (United Czechoslovakia),” Béla’s records this statement not because of the political sentiment but because of Kitty’s age. He quickly adds, “When I was 8½, I had no idea about such things!” Because Béla only rarely mentions politics, his text frustrates attempts to read it primarily—to say nothing of exclusively—as the record of an impending tragedy or an innocent child’s march to her death. Yet as Danilo Kiš’s story shows and perhaps even criticizes, it is primarily how Kitty Weichherz died, not how she lived, that has turned such documentary records into archival material. By displaying in its entirety a life that might not otherwise command interest, the diary allows us to pose complex questions about how subsequent generations treat the memory of Holocaust victims and how posterity wrests meaning from senseless slaughter. Sixty years after the Holocaust, are the memories of Kitty Weichherz and other victims worth preserving because of how they died or because of how they lived?

Slovakia and the Holocaust Before 1939, Kitty’s diary reads as a detailed chronicle of one child’s daily life. By the end, however, entire months and years separate entries. Although the final twenty pages of Béla’s notebooks are least representative of the baby book genre, they nevertheless remain a significant part of his biographical project as the diary becomes an increasingly tense memoir of the Weichherz family’s loss of home, income, and eventually their lives. The Holocaust took an especially vicious toll on Slovak Jews. Yet its history in Slovakia is relatively unknown outside that country, where memory of the genocide still sparks intense controversy. The legacies of leading wartime politicians, particularly Father Jozef Tiso, head of wartime Slovakia, remain hotly contested because the nationalist leaders who helped establish the first sovereign Slovak state in modern history also bear responsibility for the nascent state’s willingness—indeed, its eagerness—to deport Slovak Jews to Nazi death camps.13 The nationalists did not, however, simply turn against Slovakia’s Jews overnight. Jewish persecution in Central Europe after World War I owed much to economic, political, and religious prejudices that had been intensifying since

Introduction

the mid-nineteenth century, when Slovakia was one of the many Slavic regions within the ethnically diverse Hapsburg empire. Two events made 1867 a significant turning point for Jews in the Hapsburg realm. On May 29, the Hungarian Diet ratified the Constitutional Compromise (Ausgleich) that established the dual Austro-Hungarian monarchy, dominated by German-speaking Austrians in the west and Hungarian-speaking Magyars in the east. In December of the same year, the Diet granted Jews full political and civil rights in Hungarian lands, which at the time included Slovakia. Insofar as the new Hungarian leadership had quickly demonstrated its support for Jewish emancipation, Jews had incentives to support its policies, including Magyarization efforts.14 Yet across Transleithania (the Hungarian areas of the empire), ethnic minorities, including Germans, Slovaks, Slovenes, Serbs, Romanians, Roma, and Jews, had become the targets of an intensive campaign intended to establish and solidify Hungarian cultural dominance. In spite of evidence that some Jews in Slovak regions vocally objected to certain Magyarization efforts, such as the closure of Slovak-language schools, the overwhelmingly Catholic and agrarian Slovak population tended to identify Jews as instruments of Magyar domination and thus opposed to Slovak self-determination.15 The historical willingness of Slovak Jews to fall into the cultural orbit of their Hungarian or German masters reveals itself even in the name of Kitty’s father. According to family lore, the surname “Weichherz” appeared in the family in about 1850, when Béla’s great-grandfather gave food to Austrian soldiers. The soldiers told him that he should henceforth be known as “Weichherz,” German and Yiddish for “tender heart.” “Béla” is the Hungarian version of the Slavic name “Vojtech,” evidence of the tendency of Jewish Slovaks to orient themselves toward Budapest. An anti-Semitic Slovak nationalist might easily interpret a name such as “Béla Weichherz” as both Jewish and a subtle allusion to a history of Slovak domination by people perceived as non-Slovaks. In tandem with older, religiously inspired forms of Jew hatred, this nationalistic grudge against Jews created a particularly volatile variety of anti-Semitism. Throughout the late nineteenth century in Slovakia, Bohemia, Moravia, and Hungary, political and cultural tensions periodically boiled over into anti-Semitic political agitation, pogroms, and even episodes of the medieval blood libel: the accusation that Jews murder Christian children to use their blood for unleavened Passover matzohs.

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In 1882, a blood libel accusation in Tiszaeszlar, Hungary, drew attention across Europe and sparked riots in Pressburg on September 28. As late as 1899, the trial of a twenty-two-year-old Jewish man named Leopold Hilsner gripped the people of Bohemia, later the home of Béla’s brother Marci. Hilsner was accused of ritually murdering a nineteen-yearold Czech girl, Anežka Hrůzová, in the town of Polna; and his trial became the Hapsburg empire’s own version of the Dreyfus affair. As in the trial of the French Jew Dreyfus, numerous procedural irregularities and anti-Jewish incitement from nationalist newspapers tainted the Hilsner proceedings, as did the fact that the prosecuting attorney was a Czech nationalist and virulent anti-Semite. Tomáš Garrigue Masaryk, the Prague philosophy professor who later became Czechoslovakia’s first president, vocally defended Hilsner against the absurd charges. But Hilsner was condemned to death; and although the court later commuted the sentence to life imprisonment, he was not pardoned until 1918. Similar if less sensational anti-Semitic accusations reappeared in Hapsburg Europe until World War I, particularly in the civic politics of the imperial capital Vienna, where, from 1897 until 1910, Karl Lueger was twice reelected as mayor on an overtly anti-Semitic platform. Even when antiSemitism receded into the background, as it did during World War I, the anti-Semitic climate evinced by the Hilsner trial and Lueger’s attacks on “Judeo-Magyarism” would have been palpable to Jews such as the Weichherzes, who lived only an hour’s train ride from Vienna. One need only note that Esti Weichherz was born in 1899, the year of the Hilsner trial, by which time Béla was already seven. When the same Masaryk who had defended Hilsner resigned from the Czechoslovak presidency in 1935, Béla noted in the diary that Kitty was already old enough to recognize his historical significance as a representative of liberal democracy and tolerance: “Kitty is already taking an interest in current events. She heard a lot of people talking about the resignation of President Masaryk. She asked who his successor would be and then added ‘I won’t like the new Masaryk any more.’ One can thereby see how the name of a great man becomes an idea in and of itself.” The blood libel may no longer have been part of mainstream European society, but an endemic anti-Semitism remained entrenched in the Weichherz family’s perceptions of the era. It is against this general background that one should understand Béla’s final entries about the political chaos and ultimate dissolution of Czechoslovakia in 1938 and 1939 and the subsequent rise of Slovak nationalism.

Introduction

Hitler’s aggression, Great Britain’s policy of appeasement, and simmering ethnic tensions created a fertile ground for Slovak nationalists both to fulfill their dreams of Slovak autonomy and to act on long-festering antiSemitic hatreds. During the first ten days of October 1938 Germany moved in to occupy the Sudetenland, the border regions of Czechoslovakia, which had significant populations of ethnic Germans. Soon thereafter it absorbed the small and relatively defenseless Czech parts of the state as well as Bohemia and Moravia into the Reich as a Protectorate. Slovakia meanwhile became an autonomous state. On October 6, 1938, representatives of Andrej Hlinka’s Slovak People’s Party (Hlinkova slovenská ľudová strana) and the ideological allies of this right-wing, nationalist, Catholic, and anti-Semitic movement met to declare independence in the northwestern city of Žilina, not far from Čadca, where the Weichherzes spent their summers. Under the leadership of Father Josef Tiso, who had succeeded as party leader upon Hlinka’s death in August 1938, the ostensibly independent country soon became a willing puppet of Nazi Germany. Tiso’s Slovakia demonstrated an uncommon readiness to help its German patron carry out its genocidal aims, going so far as to pay Nazi Germany to accept its Jews. The Hlinka Guard (Hlinkova garda), the party’s paramilitary arm modeled on the German SS, played a central role in implementing anti-Semitic legislation on the ground level. The Weichherzes briefly crossed paths with Karol Sidor, founder of the Guard, when, that same autumn, they found themselves on a crowded train with Sidor’s wife and children. After 1938, the newly independent Slovak government implemented wide-reaching Aryanization measures intended to marginalize Jews economically and socially.16 Employers fired Jewish employees, including Béla Weichherz. In the autumn of 1938, Kitty’s schoolteacher informed Béla and Esti that Jewish students would soon be expelled and forced into Jewish schools. The looting of Jewish-owned stores and insults in broad daylight were, in Béla’s words, “now the order of the day.” Slovakia tightened the screws on its Jewish population during the next thirty months, passing law after law that restricted personal freedom and economic opportunity. Jewish properties were purchased for criminally low amounts or expropriated outright. On September 9, 1941, “shortly before the Jewish holidays,” as Béla aptly notes, the Slovak parliament implemented the Jewish codex (židovsky kodex). Its 270 articles, harsher even than Germany’s Nuremberg laws, unified and systematized extant anti-Jewish legislation.

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The codex defined Jews on racial terms. It stipulated that Jews wear yellow stars and compelled Jewish men between the ages of sixteen and sixty, which included Béla, to work as manual laborers. The Weichherzes were forced out of their home in Bratislava, and, like all Jews, had to surrender woolen clothes, furs, and surplus bed linen. Eventually, they moved in with relatives in the northern town of Čadca. Archival records suggest that Slovak authorities deported the Weichherzes on June 6, 1942, from Čadca to a transit camp in Žilina. From there they continued on to Lublin and eventually to the death camp at Sobibór.17

Photography in In Her Father’s Eyes By now, more than sixty years after World War II, stories like the Weichherzes’ have become familiar—not in spite of their extraordinary and horrific details but, paradoxically, precisely because of them. Amid the glut of Holocaust narratives, In Her Father’s Eyes risks being ignored as yet another memoir among many, another refrain in a dirge that is six million tragic verses long. Yet though Béla’s text revisits well-trodden historical terrain and bears witness to a familiar victimization, it is a family narrative; and its novelty lies in its formal and thematic idiosyncrasies, which are particularly apparent in its photographs. As a family album, Béla’s journal illustrates and enriches our image of his daughter’s life because it connects that life to a specific domestic and local historical context. But the term photo album works more as a metaphor for his work than as a strict generic designation. In Suspended Conversations: The Afterlife of Memory in the Photographic Album, historian of photography Martha Langford details many of the contradictory impulses at work in photo albums. To Langford, the album is a physical artifact that also offers a theoretical model for how we might understand our relationship to the past. She notes that randomness, gaps, and breaks characterize albums as much as the photographs do themselves. Albums consciously and necessarily present the past from a skewed, individualized perspective. They resist being easily understood. They are intended for limited audiences and, to become legible, demand familiarity with particular people, places, things, and events.18 Because Béla included a wealth of various materials in his notebooks, In Her Father’s Eyes offers a richly textured portrait of family life. Page after

Introduction

page, he records Kitty’s life in meticulous detail. Early feeding charts even specify from which breast she suckled. He transcribes congratulatory poems composed for family birthdays, children’s songs as Kitty amusingly mispronounces them, anecdotes about her performances in school plays, and similar formative or memorable moments. Photographs play an especially significant role in creating a multifaceted image of Kitty Weichherz. Yet they are not always immediately legible to readers beyond the family circle—nor were they intended to be. The “Kodak moments” pasted into the notebooks sometimes add narrative layers that both illustrate and complicate Béla’s written text. The first photograph in the journal, for instance, faces the title page on which Béla has written Kitty’s birth date and the names of the attending gynecologist, obstetrician, and midwife. In the photograph, Kitty leans from a car window. Already two or three years old in the image, her hand stretches out in welcome, as if she is presenting the narrative of her life. It is not the first photograph taken of her, but its position as the frontispiece shows that Béla did not simply record his daughter’s life as a dispassionate observer. Instead, he interrupted, decorated, and otherwise modified the text at crucial points to transform what might at first appear to be a strictly chronological narrative into a cherished document. Yet because the notebooks were never intended for anyone outside of the family, much less a mass audience of readers more than sixty years into the future, many of the photographs’ personal meanings and memories have been irrevocably lost. Some are blurry or lack captions, while others have subtitles that note explicitly where and when they were taken. Sometimes Béla separates the photographs from his text as if to suggest that they simply complement and flesh out his descriptions of Kitty’s life. Elsewhere, his descriptions of the photographs are included within the diary proper. Some photographs are scarcely larger than postage stamps, and others fill entire pages. He may have pasted in thematically redundant photographs just to avoid having to throw away his daughter’s image. As both complement and complication in the written narrative of Kitty’s life, the photographs in In Her Father’s Eyes say much about how photography constitutes and registers domestic life. Cultural critic Marianne Hirsch notes that “photographs, the only material traces of an irrecoverable past, derive their power and their important cultural role from their embeddedness in the fundamental rites of family life.”19 In the private sphere, unspoken protocols govern what, where, and when one can

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photograph. The photographs we mount over our hearths present family life as we want it to be, not necessarily as it actually is. They create and enshrine ideals of family life as much as they record specific events. Béla frequently describes Kitty’s illnesses, tantrums, and defiant attitudes; but such topics rarely make their way into the photographs. Interestingly, perhaps symptomatically, one of the few exceptions to the unspoken rule that photographs of the domestic sphere create positive narratives of family life concerns Kitty’s reactions to photography itself. A photograph taken during the winter of 1931–1932 shows a two-year-old Kitty clad in hat and mittens. She holds a camera in front of her face. The caption, written as a direct quotation, proudly proclaims, “I’m a photographer too!” A picture below, clearly taken on the same day, shows Kitty and her childhood friend Lici embracing. Yet a mere three pages later in the notebook, another set of snapshots subverts these images of childhood playfulness and innocence. In this group of photographs, taken a half-year later during the family’s annual summer vacation in Čadca, Kitty cringes, exposes her teeth, and screams. With palpable understatement, Béla explains in his caption: “Kitty did not want to be photographed. That’s why she’s bawling so much.” As these photographs reveal, people, especially children, shift inexplicably from good moods to bad ones and are capable of charity and tenderness but also cruelty and irrationality. Nevertheless, family albums rarely give voice to the obvious and inexplicable contradictions of personal identity, opting instead to represent a middleclass family ideal. In the diary, that tendency to idealize becomes particularly apparent—and problematic—when the subject is the Holocaust.

Kitty Weichherz and Anne Frank The contrasts between what Béla Weichherz writes about his daughter and what the adjacent images both show and conceal add nuance to what is in many ways a typical family story. Yet the complexity of In Her Father’s Eyes goes beyond mere formal inconsistencies. Its dissonant moments frustrate attempts to categorize or idealize Kitty’s short life easily and uncritically according to received notions of Holocaust victimhood. Instead, Béla’s notebooks offer us the opportunity to revisit and revise the highly troped image of the innocent child victim of genocide, especially as epitomized by the figure of Anne Frank, the most famous example of

Introduction

a daughter whose posthumous reception was profoundly influenced by a father’s mediation. Certain obvious similarities link Kitty Weichherz and Anne Frank. Both girls’ lives were recorded in texts called, accurately or not, “diaries.” Both girls were deported to Nazi camps in early adolescence and died cruel, anonymous deaths for the “crime” of Jewish birth. Both were born in 1929 to acculturated, middle-class Jewish families living in large Central European cities: Anne in Frankfurt, Kitty in Bratislava. Katharina Weichherz’s nickname “Kitty” was coincidentally (and uncannily) the nickname that Anne Frank gave to her diary. These biographical connections aside, however, another fact permanently links the girls. Posterity would not know about Kitty Weichherz or Anne Frank were it not for their fathers’ mediating roles: each father fashioned his daughter’s posthumous image in the choices he made as an editor. This intervention took different forms; but when one contrasts their differences with the similarity of their subject matter, we learn more about what readers have come to expect from Holocaust memoirs. And we learn that In Her Father’s Eyes often does not meet those expectations. Editing and translating have fulfilled multiple if not always easily reconcilable roles in broadening knowledge of the Holocaust. Foreignlanguage editions have spread knowledge of the Holocaust around the world, but in the process they have often molded historical narratives to make them palatable for specific audiences. As Naomi Seidman argues in Faithful Renderings: Jewish-Christian Difference and the Politics of Translation, the clichés and tropes now associated with Holocaust memoirs—notably, the innocent child victim—owe much to the mediation of translators and editors.20 When well-known diaries and memoirs such as The Diary of Anne Frank and Elie Wiesel’s Night were translated into other languages, usually the languages of non-Jews, writers and editors amended, simplified, and otherwise modified the narratives to make them legible to new audiences unable or unwilling to examine the Holocaust in all of its troubling dimensions and Jewish specificity. In fact, Anne Frank’s story only became well known after its translation into English for American readers. As they adapt material for new and typically gentile audiences, translations often downplay Jewish particularism in favor of an ethnically unspecific universalism teeming with saccharine and redemptive overtones.21 Scholars have commented explicitly on the ways in which subtly Christian redemptive narratives have structured both public understanding of the

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18

Introduction

Holocaust and Jewish Holocaust survivors’ own diaries, memoirs, and testimonies. David Roskies, a specialist on Jewish literature, argues that in the postwar period the Jewish catastrophe found its emblem in the figure of Jesus, and Holocaust survivors themselves took on the moral authority of messianic figures.22 In his history of the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, Edward Linenthal quotes the late Raul Hilberg, frustrated dean of Holocaust scholars: “any survivor, no matter how inarticulate, is superior to the greatest Holocaust historian who did not share in the experience.”23 The aura surrounding Holocaust survivors and the expectation that Holocaust narratives be redemptive has arisen, in part, because efforts to document and convey individual experiences have faced resistance. In the mid-1950s, for instance, before “the Holocaust” had congealed conceptually as the term designating Germany’s explicit targeting of Jews, The Diary of Anne Frank appeared only in heavily edited versions. As many have pointed out, published editions of the diary as well as dramas and films based on it downplay or remove passages about the young girl’s budding sexuality, her disagreements with her mother, and her emerging Jewish religious and cultural sensibilities—in short, anything that challenged the myth of Anne Frank as an optimistic, innocent, and saintly figure.24 Although Anne made some of these redactions herself, many owe their existence to Otto Frank’s desire to protect the posthumous image and memory of his daughter. Anne Frank’s story and its transmission to English-language audiences provide the conceptual schema for an English-language translation of In Her Father’s Eyes. Yet Béla Weichherz’s text does not always fulfill generic expectations. The diary lacks many of the changes upon which translations have relied, primarily because the diary’s audience included only Béla and Esti and possibly an imagined adult Kitty, who might have wanted to reflect on her youth. Whether intentionally or not, Béla’s candid portrayal of his daughter exposes and largely undermines the narrative paradigm of the innocent child victim that Otto Frank’s redactions established. Readers may be surprised to learn that, at various points in the diary, Kitty Weichherz not only eats, drinks, sleeps, speaks, and laughs but also vomits, urinates, defecates, masturbates, bleeds, itches, sniffles, sneezes, coughs, whines, and cries. She suffers from colds, skin outbreaks, abnormal bone growths, unsightly hairs on her upper lip, and scarlet fever. Reading the details of Kitty’s corporeality helps us understand how six decades of Holocaust diaries, novels, memoirs, chronicles, and other fictional and nonfictional forms have

Introduction

shaped the boundaries of discourse and established powerful taboos on representations of the human body’s myriad frailties. Kitty Weichherz is not a paradigmatic figure of childhood innocence, at least not according to her father. On the contrary, Béla frequently records moments of great frustration, as when Kitty stubbornly refuses to congratulate her mother on Esti’s birthday or insists on leaving a theater performance after Béla has gone to great lengths to get tickets. Kitty’s tendency to talk back earns her spankings. But of course, Béla also dotes on his daughter. He consistently praises her sensitivity, friendliness, and intelligence. He records how Kitty, only four and a half years old, raced to her room and willingly gave away her own teddy bear as a gift for her newborn cousin. He proudly notes how quickly she learns the different languages spoken in 1930s Bratislava and beams with parental pride when recounting that Kitty’s teachers describe her as one of the best students in school. By focusing on the quotidian, In Her Father’s Eyes points to an important if sometimes forgotten dimension of memory studies: the need to reconcile the banality of everyday lived experience and individual memory with larger memory narratives. As historian Alon Confino compellingly argues, a full picture of the relationship between individual and collective memory must of necessity incorporate both perspectives, even as it constantly wavers between the two.25 Yet all too often the details of the everyday yield to exceptional moments that create more gripping reads. The voluminous diaries of Victor Klemperer, the philologist who escaped the Holocaust only because of his non-Jewish spouse, are a case in point. Although translations of his diaries powerfully convey his experiences to non-German audiences, frequent ellipses pervade the text. Repeated instances of “[ . . . ]” leave one wondering what mundane personal information Klemperer’s editors omitted and how differently the text would read if such material widened the gap between the mundane and the ostensibly “significant.”26 In In Her Father’s Eyes, the shift in focus from the everyday to the world-historical occurs most explicitly in Béla’s final entries. Macrolevel changes in Central European politics forced the Weichherzes into new situations and new frames of mind. Here, the narrative expands in scope to include the traumatic history unfolding around his family and, most of all, around himself. When Béla recounts his own struggles to find work and housing, he, rather than his daughter, becomes the text’s protagonist. He devotes several of his final entries to the tale of his unemployment, his inability to get along with relatives in Čadca, his subsequent attempts to

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Introduction

go it alone, and the desperation and depression that accompanied these changes. Yet he still returns to the mundane details of his daughter’s life— for example, her attendance at her great-grandmother’s ninetieth birthday. He also records how closer physical and intellectual proximity with more religious Jews has developed Kitty’s sense of Jewish identity. The Weichherzes were not observant Jews, but neither were they Christians. Béla and Esti did not actively raise their daughter in the faith of their ancestors, opting instead to let her decide on matters of faith when she grew up. Nevertheless, they objected and intervened when devoutly Catholic neighbors attempted to convert their daughter. Throughout the diary, Béla periodically mentions Jewish rites and customs, as when Kitty mimics her pious grandfather as he prays or when she humorously substitutes the Wilhelm Busch cartoon book Max and Moritz for a Bible. In short, the Weichherzes were deeply secular, but they retained cultural links to Judaism. They reconnected with these roots after anti-Jewish persecution effectively categorized them as ethnic undesirables. As with Anne Frank, the experience of discrimination catalyzed Kitty Weichherz’s sense of her own Jewishness. Before this persecution reached a head, Béla at one point even considered having the family baptized. But in the end, he noted, “I just couldn’t go through with it.” Even so, the Weichherz family’s exact relationship to Judaism remains unclear. On Béla’s birthday in 1941, for instance, Kitty presented her father with handmade birthday greetings. The ornate, flowery, heart-shaped card, which Béla included in the journal, unfolds to reveal birthday wishes written in Czech, Slovak, and Hebrew. When Kitty was forced to attend a Jewish school, she began to learn Hebrew, which she in turn began to teach her father. One might expect that, like the Anne Frank revealed in recent critical editions of the diary, she might have used her newfound sense of Jewish identity to articulate an adamantly pro-Jewish position. Yet her words do not provide the evidence. The text of her birthday greetings, roughly identical in all three languages, reads: Your daughter wishes you on your birthday Much happiness and success in your endeavors And may God grant that we shall return quickly to our land Where our forefathers resided Your Dear Daughter, Kitty 14. VIII 1941 in Čadca

Introduction

Kitty’s birthday greetings strongly evoke a Passover seder’s concluding words, “Next year in Jerusalem,” which Jews optimistically proclaim at the end of the annual celebration of their release from bondage in Egypt. The three versions differ subtly, yet strangely their differences do not fulfill the expectation that Kitty would write in a “more Jewish” manner in Hebrew than in Czech or Slovak. In fact, she uses the religiously inflected term “Eretz-Yisrael” only in the Czech. In Slovak and Hebrew, she omits it and instead writes of a quick return to “our land / Where our forefathers resided.” The text’s Jewishness resides most explicitly in the choice of language rather than in the exact words. Through its quotidian details and myriad contradictions, its complex use of family photographs, and its uncanny parallels with the story of Anne Frank, In Her Father’s Eyes presents its readers with an uncomfortable if all too common paradox. As Danilo Kiš points out and even satirizes in “The Encyclopedia of the Dead,” when people are alive, the public at large does not typically acknowledge their existence except in the case of a political, artistic, or athletic accomplishment. And even when that person achieves notoriety outside an immediate family circle, it is typically fleeting. In Her Father’s Eyes challenges its readers to delve more deeply into this view of memory as it relates to victims of the Holocaust. When a life ends prematurely, anonymously, and systematically, what should become of it in posterity? We can easily fill the void of private sadness with public sanctification, whether or not the deceased merits such respect. Yet to reject on principle the transformation of any one person into a symbol of the Holocaust suggests the very anti-humanism that made such crimes possible. The act of remembering anonymous lives must navigate between the Charybdis of uncritical mythologizing and the Scylla of over-objectification. Comprehensive, emotional, familiar, and tragic, In Her Father’s Eyes offers readers unique and fertile ground in which to explore the complex work of remembrance.

21

Note on the Photographs

All of the photographs and illustrations in this book originally appeared in the notebooks in which Béla Weichherz recorded his daughter’s life. Many he clearly took himself. Amateur photography had become increasingly popular in Central Europe in the 1920s and 1930s, primarily because of the advent of inexpensive hand-held cameras with roll film. Like many in his contemporaries, Béla Weichherz used this relatively new technology to record his family life. He was not a professional photographer. Thus, image quality takes second place to the photographs’ role in capturing diverse forms of memory, as is the case with many scrapbooks, family albums, and other forms of vernacular photography. Blurriness, under- or over-exposure, and inconsistent cropping are hallmarks of Béla’s photographs; and he often pasted multiple copies of the same image into his notebooks rather than discard an image of a cherished family member. For that reason, this edition does not reproduce every image in the notebooks. The captions were all in Béla’s handwriting, although not every photograph had one. In most cases, they appeared in the notebooks next to or underneath the relevant image. Occasionally, however, he provided details about an image within the diary’s narrative itself. In these cases, I have extracted his descriptive text from its original position and rendered it as a caption. I have also correlated the position of photographs, charts, drawings, and greeting cards as closely as possible with their placement in the original notebooks, even when the reader might infer that an image, given its subject, would more logically appear many pages earlier. Despite these few small adjustments, I have attempted in this edition to preserve and highlight the tone and texture of the original notebooks, hoping that my treatment of Béla’s images conveys not simply the amateur quality of his photography and the complex interplay of text and photograph, but also the love, intimacy, and preservation of memory that characterizes vernacular photography. The facing facsimile page will give readers a feel for the appearance of the original notebooks.

notebook 1

March 1929–May 1933

Kitty Weichherz Born on December 1, 1929

Gynecologist

Midwife

Dr. Eugen Neumann

Mrs. Desider Neuwirth

Pediatrician Dr. Karl Brandl The mother herself provides care and nourishment

Prehistory The first symptoms of pregnancy showed up at the beginning of March 1929. The mother had severe bouts of nausea, couldn’t eat anything, and threw up everything she usually enjoyed.1 This state lasted for about eight weeks. Then her normal appetite returned and she regained her strength. After that everything went most advantageously and, aside from a few passing episodes when she was unwell, she experienced none of the other symptoms that usually make mothers-to-be suffer. One incident in the seventh month of the pregnancy caused us great concern. After receiving some distressing news, Mother had a case of nerves. We had to call the doctor, who stayed with us for two hours. Fortunately there were no consequences at all. Repeated examinations revealed that the mother is rather narrowly built and that we can expect a protracted delivery. But in the end, the situation with the child came out completely normal. The doctor predicted a November 30 birth.

The Birth And in fact, during the night of November 30 and December 1, 1929,

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In Her Father’s Eyes

the labor pains began. The first pains started at 1:30, but Mother only woke me at 3:30 a.m., when the labor pains occurred almost without interruption. The doctor was telephoned immediately but he only arrived at around 4 a.m., after I alerted him to further signs of the impending birth.—After his examination he notified us that our child would be born before daybreak. Shortly thereafter the midwife also arrived. All preparations were made for the birth of our child. The doctor brought a large suitcase filled with instruments that fortunately never had to be used. Both birthing assistants washed their hands and tied on aprons. The bed in which the mother lay in pain was freed up on all sides. The mother suffered in bed and I paced around in the adjacent room in anticipation. At 4:45 a.m. a tub stored in Uncle Marci’s apartment was retrieved. Meanwhile Aunt Rudica came.2 She felt such sympathy that she couldn’t stay home. She tried hard to be useful and even wanted to help Mother bear the labor pains by helping pull the linen towels that Mother was supposed to grasp. At 6:45 our daughter arrived. In that she didn’t immediately start breathing, she received a spanking from the nice doctor.3 Then she started to cry vigorously and concurrently soaked in her first air. This first act in life was barely over when she stuck her little hand in her mouth—alternately sucking and crying, even though she was still receiving nourishment from her mother through the umbilical cord. After it had been cut it was set aside until the mother was taken care of and cleaned up. In recounting the history of our dear little daughter’s birth, we consider it our duty to acknowledge the contribution of Dr. Neumann, who revealed his efficiency and skill to the fullest degree. Through his assistance, Mother’s suffering was abbreviated, and for this we owe him a debt of gratitude. At 7 o’clock our little girl had her first bath. She didn’t feel comfortable, a fact she made known through her energetic screaming. Afterward we put her in her little gown and set her on the bed, where she quieted down. Guests started arriving at 10 o’clock. Since we didn’t have a scale yet, we could only estimate her weight, which we guessed to be about 3.1 kilograms. The first day she slept almost without interruption because she didn’t receive anything to eat. First she had to digest the nourishment that she brought along from her mother’s body.4 Only at about 11 p.m. was she served a little tea, because she had cried since 9 p.m. without interruption. But the tea didn’t help and she kept crying until well past midnight.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

When the baby finally fell asleep again, Mother was worried about the silence until I convinced her that the baby was sleeping peacefully.

1st Week, December 2–7, 1929 Weight on December 2 Lost by December 7 Weight on December 7

3100 g 30 g 3070 g

Our little girl had her first meal on December 2 at 9 in the morning. She was well behaved and immediately took to the breast. She is fed six times a day. Individual meals are still not being measured regularly. But one can estimate that her intake is about 50–60 grams per meal. In the evening of December 2 Grandmother Frida arrived and cared for our little girl for two weeks. She took care of her as though she were her own child and spent many sleepless nights with her. We couldn’t agree on a name until December 5. We weren’t prepared for a girl, since we had promised our friend Stefan Linek that we would name our first child after him. Earlier the talk had been to choose Helga or Ilse, but I was decidedly opposed. We then discussed Gerta (Gertrude), but Aunt Josefin said she would end the friendship if we chose this name. She was already disappointed because she would have been the godmother were it a boy. Almost everyone liked “Daisy.” I wanted to have her name officially registered as Daisy (Dorothea). But there were problems in the local registry office because we weren’t to register her as Daisy but as Margarethe.5 On Aunt Rudica’s advice we then chose Kitty, which would be officially registered as Katharina.—It should, however, be noted that Mr. Stefan Ruhig participated actively during the choice of names by presenting us with a list with about 150 names.

2nd Week, December 8–14, 1929 Weight unchanged. Feeding unchanged.

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This week the first medical examination by Dr. Karl Brandl took place. We called him because the child’s stool suggested she might have enteritis.6 Our fear was, however, groundless. Skin color is yellowish. There are still no signs of sensory development.

3rd Week, December 15–21, 1929 Weight on December 15 Weight on December 21 Gain

3070 g 3160 g 90 g

At the beginning of the week, the baby’s intake was on average 70 grams of milk per feeding. From the 20th on, every feeding will be weighed. Date December 20 December 21

I. 80 70

II. 85 80

III. 80 80

IV. 80 65

V. 65 80

VI. 70 —

Total 460 g 375

Kitty got chicken pox. It is her first infectious disease and was spread by the midwives. She also broke out in a sweat. Both are being treated according to the doctor’s orders. Overall she is doing well. During the day she sleeps a lot. She gets quite upset almost every day after her last feeding, which for the most part can be attributed to indigestion. Her vision is making progress. She notices light and her eye follows a hand held out in front of it. Her skin is a normal rosy color. When she cries—one could really call it screaming—the baby makes desperate motions with her arms and then hits her face with them. This clumsy, instinctive “flailing” resembles the foot movements of a beetle lying on its back.—All of the doctors and books about child rearing say that one should let the child cry if everything else is in order. But anyone who can watch these movements at length without attempting to console the child has no heart in his body.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

4th Week, December 22–28, 1929 Weight on December 22 3160 g Weight on December 27 3325 g Gain 165 g Feeding: Date I. II. III. December 22 80 90 95 December 23 75 85 60 December 24 90 75 75 December 25 110 120 85 December 26 85 90 85 December 27 105 80 85 December 28 85 90 85

IV. 80 85 95 65 110 85 110

V. 65 70 70 85 65 80 90

VI. 75 65 — — — — — Average: Total:

Total 480 440 405 465 435 435 460 445.7 3120

Her eyes are now seeing more clearly. Kitty is taking an interest in her surroundings and will lie quietly for a quarter of an hour staring at something. She can turn her head freely. Of course for the most part, she just stares at the electric light. When one speaks to Kitty, she gets quiet. In other words, she can already hear. Her case of the sweats let up after treatment with Kritimol.—Individual chicken pox still appear on her back and these are treated with Borcreme and Dermatol.7

5th Week, December 29, 1929—January 4, 1930 Weight on December 29 3325 g Weight on January 4 3440 g Gain 115 g Feeding: Date I. II. III. 29. XII. 115 100 100 30. " 100 120 100

IV. 90 110

V. 75 —

VI. — —

Total 480 430

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In Her Father’s Eyes

31. " 1. I. 2. " 3. " 4. "

105 105 115 100 105

105 110 105 85 110

105 95 90 90 100

100 90 100 100 90

— 100 90 95 105

— — — — 90 Average: Total:

415 500 500 470 600 445.7 3395

Kitty is aware that someone is taking care of her: it is increasingly the case that one simply has to approach her carriage to get her to quiet down—if only for a short time. She turns her little head when she hears loud footsteps or creaking doors. But in general she frightens easily.— She listens to whistling or singing but evidently the nerves that perceive these tones have not yet developed, because afterward she gets quite upset. An experiment with the pacifier was not met with any particular shouting and we’re happy about this. For the time being, no additional chicken pox have appeared. She drinks tea with great pleasure. Even when she is most upset, just putting the spoon to her mouth settles her down.

6th Week, January 5–11, 1930 Weight on January 5 3440 g Weight on January 11 3720 g Gain 280 g Length 53 cm Feeding: Date I. II. III. 5. I. 115 105 100 6. " 125 105 100 7. " 105 100 95 8. " ß85 140 95 9. " 130 120 105 10. " 120 110 110 11. " 140 125 100

IV. 110 95 80 115 100 125 100

V. — 110 135 120 105 — 110

VI. — 95 — — 105 — 95 Average: Total:

Total 430 630 515 555 670 465 670 562 3935

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

Kitty is frequently slow to nurse. One regularly has to set her to the breast twice. While nursing, she often has to be coaxed. She already knows her daily routine rather well. During the night she regularly sleeps 7–8 hours. She still does not recognize the source of her nourishment. She shoves her hands into her mouth and gets upset when one pulls them away. Only when the nipple touches her mouth does she quickly grab it. When one changes her, she contentedly spreads out her limbs and smiles. Her jumpiness has increased even more. Her regular evening tantrum suddenly stopped. The baby usually falls asleep right at the breast. Hopefully it will stay this way!

7th Week, January 12–18, 1930 Weight on January 12 3720 g Weight on January 18 3960 g Gain 240 g Feeding: Date I. II. III. 12. I. 130 120 110 13. " 120 110 110 14. " 125 130 110 15. " 90 120 100 16. " 115 130 115 17. " 140 130 125 18. " 125 105 115

IV. 115 110 115 110 105 115 110

V. 110 130 125 120 125 80 110

VI. — — — 110 — — — Average: Total:

Total 585 580 605 650 590 590 565 595 4165

On January 13 her first excursion. The baby felt somewhat discontent when we covered her head with the little bonnet. But she had hardly made it out into the fresh air when she settled down and immediately fell asleep. The walk lasted from 11 to 11:30 in the morning.—The following two days were also beautifully sunny. On January 15 the walk lasted 1½ hours. This week Kitty was more reluctant to nurse than usual. To achieve the results noted above, we had to set her to the breast to nurse twice or even

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three times almost every time. But it is comforting that she is putting on weight nicely even with so little nourishment. The jumpiness has eased up, but as soon as the baby is asleep, she wakes up at the first loud noise.—The daily bath is still an unpleasant affair for Kitty. Individual chicken pox continue to appear on her back.

8th Week, January 19—25, 1930 Weight on January 19 3960 g Weight on January 25 4175 g Gain 215 g Feeding: Date I. II. III. 19. I. 105 130 120 20." 140 135 105 21. " 145 150 110 22. " 125 135 110 23. " 115 110 105 24. " 130 145 140 25. " 135 140 110

IV. 110 110 100 120 125 120 140

V. 120 100 110 160 130 115 115

VI. — — — — — — — Average: Total:

Total 585 590 615 650 575 650 640 615 4305

V. 130 135 115 115 125 115

VI. — — — — — —

Total 660 645 625 645 665 660

9th Week, January 26–February 1, 1930 Weight on January 26 4175 g Weight on February 1 4425 g Gain 250 g Feeding: Date I. II. III. 26. I. 150 145 115 27. " 140 145 115 28. " 120 140 135 29. " 150 135 125 30. " 135 135 145 31. " 135 150 135

IV. 120 110 115 120 125 125

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

1. II.

120

160

125

130

140

— Average: Total:

675 654 4575

Kitty was more restless this week than usual. She cried a lot; a few times she spit up her milk right after eating, and something wasn’t right with her stool. Her reluctance to nurse is itself disconcerting enough. I think one can attribute this restlessness to the presence of a house guest (Esti Pollak and son), since whenever the situation in our house changes, the baby notices it the most. The effect of all this has been only a small weight gain this week (just 65 grams in the first four days). Otherwise, her mental and physical development has progressed nicely. Kitty already moves her head around animatedly and when she hears a sound she immediately turns in its direction.—Her jumpiness has mostly disappeared. When one pays attention to her she can go an entire hour without crying.—Kitty had a small sore on her right arm which the doctor incised and cleaned. We learned that Kitty’s anxiety and aversion to nursing can be traced to her mother’s recent illness.—The baby made up for her slight weight gain in the first four days during the last three.— Kitty recognizes the source of her nourishment. When she is put up to the breast, she pulls the hand she is sucking on away from her mouth and on her own puts her little head in the right position. When Kitty is awake she observes her surroundings with great interest; she moves her head agilely in all directions. When she feels particularly content, she smiles and babbles. She’ll stay quiet this way for more than a half hour. Today—Saturday—we observed how after her bath Kitty consciously protects herself from having her nose wiped. She screamed and got upset, as soon as the piece of cotton even got close. She turned her little head in all directions to defend herself against the unpleasant procedure. Individual chicken pox are still present.

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10th Week, February 2–8, 1930 Weight on February 2 Weight on February 8 Gain Date 2. II. 3. " 4. " 5. " 6. " 7. " 8. "

I. 145 145 130 120 135 130 160

II. 150 140 125 135 160 185 145

III. 130 110 130 140 140 130 130

4425 g 4675 g 250 g IV. 120 160 160 140 130 120 120

V. 120 120 135 125 140 145 120

Daily Total 665 675 680 660 705 710 675 4770

Daily Average 133 135 136 132 141 142 135 136

Weekly Average 133 134 135 134 135 137 136 687

When she was born, Kitty had thick black hair. Four weeks later it began to fall out and now the baby is bald. The only thick hair is on the back of her head. New hair growth is already visible on the upper part of her forehead.— Kitty is also beginning to enjoy the bath. Sometimes she stretches out her arms in search of help, but then she smiles and one can see the contentedness on her face. On Wednesday, February 4, Kitty received a crib, a gift from Uncle Marci. When she is awake, she will lie in it, loosely covered, and observe her surroundings for hours while babbling away.

11th Week, February 9–15, 1930 Weight on February 9 Weight on February 15 Gain Date 9. II. 10. "

I. 150 175

II. 160 185

III. 140 120

4675 g 4910 g 235 g IV. 115 120

V. 130 115

Daily Total 695 715

Daily Average 139 143

Weekly Average 139 141

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

11. " 12. " 13. " 14. " 15. "

150 130 130 150 165

160 160 170 145 160

140 165 150 130 130

130 140 135 140 135

135 125 120 105 130

715 720 705 670 720 4940

143 144 141 134 144 706

142 142 142 141 141 141

When one lays Kitty on her stomach, she lifts her head up straight. She figured out how to do this last Thursday. Until then she always rubbed her nose around on the bath towel. Whenever she sees her mother’s breast, she lovingly opens her little mouth and waits until her mother offers her breast. If it takes too long, she energetically reminds her. It is clear that her voice is getting stronger as time passes. Her first attempts at grasping can also be observed, but they are still unconscious. They are largely observable in her balling up of her shirt and her little jacket and then naturally she brings the whole bundle straight to her mouth. If one offers her a finger, she’ll only squeeze it if it is placed directly under her tiny fingers.

12th Week, February 16–22, 1930 Weight on February 16 Weight on February 22 Gain Date 16. II. 17. " 18. " 19. " 20. " 21. " 22. "

I. 170 140 155 135 135 140 135

II. 110 150 150 140 130 135 150

III. 125 145 140 120 140 130 135

4910 g 5070 g 160 g IV. V. 145 115 150 75 145 100 125 80 120 130 145 85 125 115

Daily Total 665 660 690 600 655 635 660 4565

Daily Average 133 132 138 120 131 123 132 132

Weekly Average 133 132.5 134 131 131 130 130 652

With regard to feeding and bodily development, this week is a dark

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page in Kitty’s diary. We cannot explain why she is eating so little. At night she sleeps 8–10 hours. During the day she sleeps less and with long interruptions. Particularly between her fourth and fifth feedings, when she hardly sleeps at all. The result is that while nursing, she turns away from the breast and does not drink enough. All attempts to coax her have failed. At the same time, however, I can record several wonderful intellectual developments can be recorded: she is already playing with her hands. First she sticks out the first three fingers of her right hand in a quaint way and observes them from all sides. Then her left hand comes to help. All the while she babbles lovingly. Also, whenever she has her body free and can pedal her feet, her bliss is complete and she’ll stay peaceful for hours. She can already turn her whole body onto her right side. Such mobility demands constant surveillance. When one visits her after a long time, she is quite grateful and shows her joy by laughing, whereupon her whole face beams. Her laughing is still silent.

13th Week, February 23–March 1, 1930 Weight on February 23 Weight on March 1 Gain Date 2. III. 3. " 4. " 5. " 6. " 7. " 8. "

I. 150 135 135 155 150 155 150

II. 155 150 160 155 165 150 140

III. 115 135 130 160 130 140 135

5070 g 5230 g 160 g IV. V. 130 140 150 130 155 145 110 115 170 110 135 110 160 100

Daily Total 690 700 725 695 725 690 685 4910

Daily Weekly Average Average 138 138 140 139 145 141 139 140.5 145 141.1 138 140.8 137 140.3 140.3 714

Kitty has become more animated. She now requires constant company when she is awake. When she is in a bad mood, she continuously sucks on her little shirt sleeve. Otherwise there is nothing in particular to note.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

On February 27, Kitty received a bank book with a deposit of 500 crowns from Uncle Artur.

14th Week, March 2–8, 1930 Weight on March 2 Weight on March 8 Gain Date 2. III. 3. " 4. " 5. " 6. " 7. " 8. "

I. 150 135 135 155 150 155 150

II. 155 150 160 155 165 150 140

III. 115 135 130 160 130 140 135

5230 g 5455 g 225 g IV. V. 130 140 150 130 155 145 110 115 170 110 135 110 160 100

Daily Total 690 700 725 695 725 690 685 4910

Daily Weekly Average Average 138 138 140 139 145 141 139 140.5 145 141.1 138 140.8 137 140.3 140.3 714

This week Kitty had a visitor: Aunt Irene from Čadca.8 We think we can now say that the chicken pox have disappeared, because they haven’t appeared in weeks. Kitty’s mother had quite a time with her as she was nursing. She gets quite comfortable and pauses, sometimes for ten minutes, during which she babbles and plays. Then she does us the favor of taking another drink. Sometimes one has to force her to take her mother’s breast.

15th Week, March 9–15, 1930 Weight on March 9 Weight on March 15 Gain Date 9. III. 10. "

I. 145 160

II. 145 105

III. 140 145

5455 g 5565 g 110 g IV. 155 145

V. 120 105

Daily Total 705 660

Daily Average 141 132

Weekly Average 141 136.5

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11. " 12. " 13. " 14. " 15. "

140 145 120 155 125

150 135 160 165 165

135 130 100 140 125

140 100 130 180 150 110 135 105 90 150

665 720 640 700 655 4745

133 144 128 140 131 678

135.3 137.5 135.6 136.3 135.5 135.5

Daily Total 680 705 700 705 695 720 755 4960

Daily Average 136 141 140 141 139 144 151 709

Weekly Average 136 138.5 139 139.5 139.4 140 141.7 141.7

16th Week, March 16–22, 1930 Weight on March 16 Weight on March 22 Gain Date 16. III. 17. " 18. " 19. " 20. " 21. " 22. "

I. 145 150 160 140 145 145 160

II. 160 170 150 160 165 155 190

III. 150 110 120 140 135 155 135

5565 g 5770 g 205 g IV. 120 150 155 150 145 150 150

V. 105 125 115 115 105 115 120

Since her birth Kitty’s godfather has called her “Tiny Finey” [KleinesFeines]. She deserves this name: she’ll go several days without crying and disturbing the peace at night is for her a totally unknown concept. Every night she sleeps 8–9 hours. In the daytime she sleeps mainly during walks. She now goes out twice a day. Instead of crying she makes an adorable babbling noise. It consists only of a drawn out “Aaaaaaa—,” but Kitty knows to modulate it according to her mood. We can already distinguish between a narrative or conversational form. She also has a short grunting tone, which is accentuated with a corresponding hand or foot movement and which means that she is happy about something that has happened. Finally, she can also shriek and make noise when she is discontent or her mealtime comes late.—And her grasping is becoming more confident and conscious. Particularly when she is nursing, she’ll grasp her hand playfully around her mother.—

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

Because of the beautiful weather Kitty has also been spending more time outside. She has already gotten something of a tan. Even when the weather is bad she has to spend at least 2–3 hours in the fresh air. Last week Uncle Marci took a couple of photographs of Kitty, but they didn’t turn out because the film had already been exposed.

17th Week, March 23–29, 1930 Weight on March 23 Weight on March 29 Gain Date 23. III. 24. " 25. " 26. " 27. " 28. " 29. "

I. 140 135 120 170 165 150 160

II. 180 180 180 155 180 155 175

III. 170 140 125 130 155 125 145

5770 g 5970 g 200 g IV. 130 130 130 140 135 155 140

V. 110 185 135 110 105 135 120

Daily Total 730 770 690 705 740 720 740 5095

Daily Average 146 154 138 141 148 144 148 728

Weekly Average 146 150 146 144.75 145.4 145.16 145.5 145.5

Kitty has noticed a couple of events that repeat themselves in the course of her daily routine. When she is placed on the scale she always gets upset. Even on those occasions when she gets her feeding ahead of time. She only calms down when she sees the breast and then opens her little mouth as she is supposed to.—When her jumpsuit is put on, she becomes quiet and full of anticipation until she is laid down in the carriage. If, however, the carriage stands still for a long time, she expresses her discontent.—We have also observed that she turns up her nose as soon as one approaches her with a piece of cotton. She already knows, in other words, that something unpleasant is going to happen.

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18th Week, March 30–April 5, 1930 Weight on March 30 Weight on April 5 Gain Date 30. III. 31. III. 1. IV 2. IV 3. IV 4. IV 5. IV

I 140 140 130 130 125 140 140

II 160 155 145 160 150 170 170

5970 g. 6100 g 130 g

III 160 130 125 130 130 130 140

IV 135 135 140 130 145 125 125

V 125 130 135 120 110 130 115

Daily Total 720 690 675 670 660 695 690 4800

Daily Average 144 138 135 134 132 139 138 137.1

Weekly Average 144 141 139 137.75 136.6 137 137.1 685.7

Kitty grasps at everything that pleases her, but her little fingers are still quite clumsy. When lying on her back, she can already lift her head and takes great delight when one sets her upright.—Since a short time ago, she shrieks if she wants to express her pleasure or displeasure. Her laughing is accompanied by a tiny sound. It is strange that she doesn’t like to hear others laughing loudly, or so it appears. When this happens, she gets a puzzled look on her face. Her mother made the first attempts this week to give the baby additional food, which of course cannot yet be taken seriously. They were simply taste tests. The baby licked some chocolate with glee but she didn’t like the taste of sweetened orange juice at all.

19th Week, April 6–12, 1930 Weight on April 6 Weight on April 12

6100 g 6240 g 140 g

Gain Date 6. IV.

I 140

II 170

III 145

IV V 125 100

Daily Total 680

Daily Average 136

Weekly Average 136

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

7. " 8. " 9. " 10. " 11. " 12. "

120 130 150 130 150 160

170 160 150 175 160 155

145 135 125 145 110 135

120 110 115 125 120 145

110 120 110 115 125 105

685 655 650 690 665 700 4725

137 131 130 138 133 140 675

136.5 134.6 133.5 134.4 134.1 135.9 135

Over the course of the week the little one has slowly gotten used to the orange juice, of which she receives 2–3 demitasses per day.— It is astounding how animated the child is. One cannot leave her alone in her bed. She can turn her whole body onto her side and with a little assistance she can lay herself down on her stomach.—If one takes her by her arms, she doesn’t want to stay lying down but rather lifts her entire upper body and peers with interest in all directions. Her bad habits must also be noted. In that Kitty did not receive a pacifier, she got used to sucking on her shirt sleeve. It is frequently quite wet. During the carriage stroll, she often gets cranky because she can’t suck on it because of her little jacket and gloves. Sometimes she just prefers the rough gloves.

Kitty’s first photographs on April 1, 1930.

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20th Week, April 13–19, 1930 Weight on April 13 Weight on April 19 Gain Date 13. IV. 14. " 15. " 16. " 17. " 18. " 19. "

I 160 130 160 130 170 165 185

II 150 200 185 185 175 170 185

III 140 120 115 120 115 145 135

6240 g 6415 g 175 g IV 150 130 180 125 130 130 130

V 105 110 90 115 125 115 115

Daily Total 705 690 730 675 715 725 750 4990

Daily Average 141 138 146 135 143 145 150 712.8

Weekly Average 141 139.5 141.6 140 140.6 141.3 142.5 142.5

Mother is having an increasingly difficult time with feeding. If one sets Kitty at the breast, she nurses for five minutes. But then she forgets her hunger; she looks around in every direction; she turns toward every sound she hears, be it the creaking of doors or a loud word. Then she babbles merrily and grabs at her mother. Ten minutes pass in this way. Then Kitty condescends to take a few more sips of milk, after which the amusement begins anew. If one disturbs her and compels her to nurse, she bites.— Since Thursday and on doctor’s orders she has been receiving additional food in earnest: at midday 2–3 teaspoons of semolina porridge. This quantity is being steadily increased.—Otherwise Kitty has been quite well behaved. She hasn’t cried for weeks. She seems to have caught her first cold but is still well behaved.—If she doesn’t like something, then she just grumbles.—Aunt Irene sent her a rubber rabbit and she is already playing with it quite enthusiastically.

21st Week, April 20–26, 1930 Weight on April 20 Weight on April 26 Gain

6415 g 6615 g 200 g

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

Length: 62 cm Date 20. IV. 21. " 22. " 23. " 24. " 25. " 26. "

I 170 175 170 160 170 160 170

II 155 200 170 170 160 165 185

III 120 130 110 110 120 120 115

IV V 120 115 125 105 115 105 130 130 130 100 130 110 115 110

Daily Total 680 735 670 700 680 685 695 4845

Daily Average 136 147 134 140 136 137 139 692

Weekly Average 136 141.5 139 139.25 138.6 138.3 138.4 138.4

Kitty loves having her hand kissed. We don’t know if it’s the warm touch or the smooching sound of the kissing that so pleases her. But it’s clear that one can’t repeat the kissing often enough, and if one stops, she immediately moves her little hand to her mouth.—Mother has been washing the child’s eyes and face with a piece of cotton dipped in boric acid, which of course is not among the day’s pleasant events.9 She makes her discomfort known by blinking intensely. It is interesting that the baby begins blinking as soon as the piece of cotton and the bottle get close to her—even in those cases when it is used for something else. On Thursday we had a visit: Ilonka Fábry and her husband. Kitty won them over and received a toy rabbit and a teddy bear from Aunt Ilonka.— For two days now it has been pleasantly warm and Kitty could go outside without a quilt. Friday afternoon she even went outside without a hood. Kitty laughs loudly.— Kitty likes her additional food a lot. She is already getting 4–5 teaspoons twice a day: at midday and afternoons at 5 p.m.

22nd Week, April 27–May 3, 1930 Feeding. It no longer makes sense to continue the feeding charts, since the baby now gets two feedings of porridge along with her mother’s milk.—As of late the breast feedings have been thoroughly regulated: 1st feeding, 5 a.m., 2nd at 9 a.m., 3rd at 1 p.m., 4th at 5 p.m., and the fifth after her bath between 8–9 p.m. The first two meals were always the most

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Kitty’s entourage, taken in front of the “Sana” pharmacy. Kitty is in the carriage and not visible, and next to her are of course the inseparable sistersin-law: Mother and Aunt Rudica.

ample, as shown in the previous records.—The porridge consists of .5 decaliters of milk, .5 decaliters of water, 1 teaspoon of semolina and one teaspoon of sugar. The baby receives this at 9 a.m., 1 p.m., and 5 p.m. and otherwise she has the normal breast feedings at the times listed above.— Total amount of feedings 4320 grams in the past week. Weight: As of May 3, Kitty weighs 6790 g and therefore has gained 175 grams this week. Additional Development: The child is beginning to sit up. And when one catches her hands she pulls herself up. Of course she still has to be supported. If one takes her by the arm, she doesn’t want to stay lying down any longer, but even so her head still wobbles around a lot when she sits.— When she babbles one can begin to discern articulated syllables such as pa—ma—ta—li—ni. When Kitty is overly excited, she says “pf” and spits.

May 7, 1930 Today the baby said pa-pa for the first time and repeated the word when it was said aloud to her. Besides this we have also noticed that the baby reacts when one calls out “Little One” [Kleines] to her.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

23rd Week, May 4–10, 193010 In all of the commotion of the past week, Papa forgot to record the last week that the baby spent in Pressburg.11 There isn’t much to say. She drank 3830 grams. Gain: 40 g.

24th Week, May 11–17, 1930 On May 14th we arrived in Čadca. The baby was quite well behaved during the trip and didn’t give us much to do.—For a few days she had unsightly and frequent bowel movements, 5 times a day,—which had to be resolved through her additional feedings—and after the breast feedings only yielded 60–70 grams per feeding, the little child had to go hungry. Result: not a gram gained by the end of the week, but her stool returned to normal. Weight: 6810 grams.

Two unsuccessful photographs by Uncle Marci. Taken from our apartment near the end of March.

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25th Week, May 18–24, 1930 Kitty is now eating soup, which she likes a lot, but on the other hand she doesn’t like the taste of spinach at all. We also tried giving her compote. She had barely swallowed one drop when she got nauseous and threw up all of the lunch that she ate with such difficulty.—She likewise can’t stand biscotti and milk.—The breast feedings have been reduced, and the child is only breast-fed in the morning and evening.—but even then she is only eating a little, and it appears that formula will have to be substituted for these feedings. Kitty received a golden chain from Aunt Lilly and a beautiful coat from Aunt Fanny. Gain: 100 grams Weight 6910 grams

26th Week, May 25–31, 1930 The baby is not putting on much weight and Uncle Kalman is very unhappy.12—She eats lunch together with Tomy and Ivan.13 She has already gotten used to vegetables and eats them as she is supposed to.—For her mid-morning snack she gets milk or Nestlé formula, but she won’t drink it from the bottle. It has to be spoon-fed to her. It usually takes one hour for her to drink up 2 deciliters of milk—and it has already happened twice in a row that she spit up the milk.—Kitty is a brat when she doesn’t like how the food tastes. She closes her little mouth tightly and then it takes a great amount of exertion to get anything poured into it. She is already getting milk that has not been watered down.—I forgot to mention that since the child has been eating, her stool is solid and has a bad odor.—this week Kitty only gained 90 grams but now weighs 7000 grams.

27th Week, June 1–7, 1930 Kitty is a half year old today and she is already a big girl. But she has started to misbehave. For the past days she has eaten, so to speak, noth-

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

ing.—She broke out in a rash all over her body. Uncle Kalman thinks it’s an upset stomach.—Today we gave the baby to Tomy’s wet nurse to breast-feed. But she cried a lot and did not want to take to the breast until we pressed down on her little head a bit, at which time she took the breast but did not suck on it. Rather, she bit down on it firmly.—Hopefully this situation will change by tomorrow, since the baby will surely lose the weight that she gained only with difficulty.—Kitty had a visit. Papa was here.14—For 3 days the baby didn’t eat, but then her appetite returned and gradually she began to eat. Kitty has for the past two days suffered from constipation—she even received an enema. Weight: 6980 grams Loss: 20 grams

28th Week, June 8–14, 1930 Kitty already says Papa and Mama quite clearly and can sit up on her own for a few seconds.—Her newest bad habit is spitting.—She observes everything with great interest—and takes much joy in staring at the movement of the leaves when she is in the garden. Kitty no longer wears her baby outfit (shirt and little dress) and has instead received a silk dress in which she feels quite comfortable because it is sleeveless.—This time, after several weeks, a better weight gain can finally be recorded. 195 grams Kitty thus weighs 7175 grams.

29th Week, June 15–21, 1930 Kitty has been weaned. Her mealtimes are now arranged as follows: early in the morning milk from the bottle, which she drinks willingly and skillfully, around 9:30 porridge, for lunch vegetables and compote, milk for her snack and for her evening meal again porridge.— She has the tendency to put her foot into her mouth and suck on her toes.—She babbles without interruption papa, ma-ma, ba-ba and no longer wants to stay lying down. Rather, she demands to be set upright.—

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This week she has again not liked the taste of her vegetables and will hardly eat more than a few spoonfuls. Gain 125 grams Weight 7300 grams

30th Week, June 22–28, 1930 Kitty had another bad week. Another upset stomach set in, resulting in a rash, vomiting, and loss of appetite—the rashes itch horribly. The child scratches her little feet and face until they bleed. She couldn’t sleep at night, kept waking up and crying.—Uncle Kalman prescribed a white salve that brought relief on the third day.—During her mealtimes she hardly ate 50 g of milk, and she didn’t want to eat vegetables at all. On account of such eating habits, she lost 70 grams. She weighs 7230 grams.

31st Week, June 29–July 5, 1930 That the baby is developing intellectually is clearly visible. She responds to her name and slaps her little hands together when one says to her “clap!”15—She observes everything happening around her. When one shows her a full milk bottle, she cries out and reaches for it. Hopefully the child will now eat properly. She drinks 200–250 grams of milk per meal and at lunch her portion of vegetables.

32nd Week, July 6–12, 1930 Since we have been in Čadca the baby has not been doing well. If she eats a lot for a week and puts on weight, then something interferes that causes her to lose it.—Yesterday and the day before Kitty had 4 bowel movements and today 6–7 times. Uncle Kalman says it’s a slight case of enteritis.—The child is again receiving diluted milk (one half water) sweetened with saccharin, but she doesn’t like the taste. Aside from that she gets rice gruel.—

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

The enteritis has still not improved. But Kitty is cheerful and in a good mood. Unfortunately this week a loss of 130 grams must be recorded. Weight: 7270 grams.

33rd Week, July 12–20, 1930 The enteritis persists and every day the child has unsightly and loose stool four times a day.—Last night she even went in her sleep. We have started a fasting cure. For 24 hours straight Kitty only gets tea and then rice gruel in small amounts. When Kitty is sleepy, she starts to sing “a, a, a, a” and lulls herself to sleep. Aside from that she sucks intensely on the ruffle of the pillow.— The fasting cure did the child good and the enteritis has passed. But aside from the 130 grams, Kitty lost an additional 220 grams. For two days she was quite weak, unresponsive, and did not want to sit up.—But now she’s being a good girl and can hardly wait for her meals—and she’s not satisfied with her portions. She demands more. By the end of the week her weight improved. Kitty weighs 7220 grams. Loss 180 grams

34th Week, July 21–27, 1930 If Kitty likes something she says “te-te” and when she wants something, she grasps for it and opens and closes her hand.—For a while Kitty has been afraid of unfamiliar people, especially women, as she has always preferred men. But the reason is that when she had enteritis she never went out and only saw the familiar people around her in the house.— Kitty does not want a blanket at night. She kicks at it until the blanket comes off her, but since it is usually cool here at night, she got a sleeping bag and sleeps inside it. Gain 130 grams Weight 7350 grams.

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35th Week, July 28–August 3, 1930 Kitty is now making attempts to stand up. She catches herself with both hands on her baby carriage, gets on her knees and looks out the carriage.—One can no longer leave her alone (sitting in the carriage). She has been a good girl this week with her eating.—After lunch she gets some banana, which she likes very much. The baby has bowel movements twice a day. Gain 170 grams Weight 7525 grams.

36th Week, August 4–10, 1930 Grandpa is Kitty’s favorite. When he walks into the room, she is beside herself with joy. She jumps, laughs, babbles, and will not settle down until he comes over and pays her some attention. Kitty is a little copy cat. When Aunt Irenka sticks out her tongue, she imitates her. In general she likes such mischief.—She can already signal “yes” and “no” by nodding her little head.— Gain 105 grams Weight 7630 grams.

37th Week, August 11–17, 1930 The rash appeared again this week, but this time it was not so unpleasant and less widespread.—Kitty received a harness. With it, she can be buckled into her baby carriage and, on her knees, she looks out from it with curiosity.—From Uncle Turek the baby received a rubber rabbit, but she doesn’t like it. She stomps on it so much with her tiny feet that it gets caught in the corner of the carriage. Food and stool are normal.— Gain 225 grams Weight 7855 grams.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

38th Week, August 18–24, 1930 Kitty is again friendly and nice to everyone and so overly enthusiastic that one sometimes doesn’t have enough hands for her.—When one calls “Grandpa” she looks over to where he is, and besides that, she also knows Grandma—and the cat.—Her teeth appear ready to break in. Kitty rubs her gums and she is also chewing on them. Gain 185 grams Weight 8040 grams.

39th Week, August 25–31, 1930 This week the child again had the rash and it was quite severe—For two nights she barely slept because she was rubbing her feet and hands.— She received a lot of baby clothes as gifts. Aunt Irenka, Uncle Turek, and Grandma each bought her an outfit. Gain 100 grams Weight 8140 grams

40th Week, September 1–7, 1930 Kitty had a bad week. For two days she ate hardly anything and every day she had three loose bowel movements. She also did not sleep well.— The rash came back and disappeared.—Tomorrow we’re going back again [to Pressburg], and hopefully Kitty will behave herself on the way.—The grandparents and aunts are already crying—because they’ll miss her. Loss 10 grams Weight 8130 grams.

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41st Week, September 8–15, 1930 The trip was unbearable. Kitty, used to sleeping in the afternoon, did not sleep on the train and cried without interruption all the way to Pressburg. No toy helped. She was not to be pacified.16 For two days the baby was so bad that one could not bear to be with her. The reason was the unfamiliar surroundings. But she is gradually getting used to everything— and is now behaving well again.—She got her inoculations. It hurt and Kitty cried bitter tears. She is normal but nevertheless a Loss of 10 grams Weight 8120 grams.

42nd Week, September 16–23, 1930 A loss of appetite followed as a result of the inoculations. On two nights Kitty cried a couple of times. There was no fever, although her arm swelled up on the 10th day, but that was over after two days.—Kitty is now drinking more than 180–200 grams.—For breakfast and her evening meal she gets cocoa, at 10 a.m. porridge, vegetables for lunch, and pieces of coconut for her snack. Gain 160 grams Weight 8280 grams.

43rd Week, September 24–October 1, 1930 Kitty can stand up by herself in bed or in her carriage and this pleases her immensely.—On the street, she’ll “flirt” for a long time with the children until they come up to her carriage. She has bowel movements one time [per day] but sometimes two times. She doesn’t want banana nor does she like how peeled apples taste.— Kitty learns quickly—one only has to tell her something or point to it twice and she immediately does it.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

Gain 45 grams Weight 8425 grams.

44th Week, October 2–9, 1930 Kitty has had a severe cold for two days.—We had to call the doctor, who prescribed a salve, after which she immediately felt better. He thinks that she might be inclined to the English disease because the crown of her skull is still soft and she also does not have teeth yet.17 She’ll have to be x-rayed. The improvement with the cold was illusory. The child is suffering a lot, as she can only breathe through her mouth. She can only drink from her bottle with difficulty and has lost her appetite. Loss 25 grams Weight 8400 grams.

45th Week, October 10–16, 1930 The cold persists. The child sleeps restlessly, but she is eating better this week.—Kitty gets orange juice, which she gladly drinks.—She is using her bed to learn to walk.—She walks around by herself.—She is again eating as she should and this week she gained 160 grams Weight 8560 grams.

46th Week, October 17–23, 1930 Kitty now asks to go to the potty and sometimes wets only 2–3 diapers a day.—It sometimes happens that after she has done her business she calls out “poo poo” or if she is playing enthusiastically she’ll forget.— Since yesterday she gets gravy with her vegetables.— Gain 140 grams Weight 8700 grams.

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47th Week, October 24–31, 1930 Once again Kitty doesn’t like the taste of her vegetables, and she’ll only eat her portion after a lot of coaxing.—On the other hand she likes orange juice and peeled apple a lot. Gain 45 grams Weight 8745 grams.

48th Week, November 1–7, 1930 We returned the scale so now Kitty will only be weighed monthly.18 This week she put on only a little weight. Gain 35 grams Weight 8780 grams.

49th Week, November 8–15, 1930 The lack of appetite persists until Kitty eats her lunch. Then a half hour will pass and she often keeps a bite in her mouth for several minutes. The vegetables thereby become inedible, whereupon Kitty gets nauseous.— Feeding is becoming an ordeal. And when patience runs out, the child gets a spanking. The rash has reappeared. Aside from that, the first tooth is finally coming in, on top as it were.—The child is restless, sleeps poorly at night and cries constantly.—

50th Week, November 16–23, 1930 Kitty has also had a tooth come in on the bottom.—The doctor is not happy with the irregularity of her bite. He says it suggests rickets.— The child is again well. The lack of appetite was connected to her teeth.—The rash, however, will not disappear, even though Dr. Brandl applied everything possible. But since the child has suffered so much

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

from the itching, we decided to consult another doctor.—Dr. Freiberg says that the child wasn’t fed properly, specifically that she got too much milk.—Cocoa is now out and in its place she’ll have grain coffee for breakfast, fruit at 10 a.m., vegetables for lunch, coffee again at 4 p.m., and porridge in the evening.—We are trying a different dietary regimen to find out where the rash comes from.—The milk is watered down so that in the course of the day the child gets 3½ deciliters (previously 9 deciliters). Her vegetables are prepared without salt and with margarine instead of butter.

51st Week The rash is clearing up and the child isn’t scratching so much anymore.—She likes her food.—She now likes to eat banana and she is quite skilled at eating out the soft inside part of a roll.—Kitty now has two teeth on bottom and on top the second one is coming in too.—She is always poking her teeth with her tongue because it’s something new. Aside from that, she gnashes her teeth in a way that’s hard to listen to.— Papa likes her a lot. She now recognizes him, even when he has been away for a week.—We were loaned a playpen for Kitty and she likes to walk around in it.—She also sits nicely in her carriage with a blanket. She recognizes her dog and calls him “Wa Wa.”—She now has sturdy shoes with heels, a gift from Aunt Rudica.— Weight 9000 Kilo [sic]

December 1, 193019 Kitty’s first birthday! Time is flying by, and our daughter will soon be all grown up.— Until now I left the entries for Mother to do because I am not at home very much. One could say that I’m just a guest in my own home. Thus I didn’t have a lot of opportunities to observe Kitty’s development in detail.—Now I want to rededicate myself to the matter and begin on this first “historic” day of her life. She received presents from everyone: from her grandparents, uncles

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and aunts. It would take a long list to describe all of the things she received. We’re content to say that all of the love shown for our child is a very good thing. We have determined that Kitty is not growing as much as she should. Her weight lags behind others her age. Her current weight is 9.1 kg.—The slow development can be attributed to the improper diet. For one, we made a big mistake over the summer in Čadca in that we fed her the fatty, undiluted milk they drink there, such that the baby already has a special sensitivity to milk that caused a breakouts of hives. Since she has been in Dr. Freiberg’s care, her development has made visible progress.—In the course of about four weeks she has already gotten her fourth tooth. First her middle-left incisor came in on top, then the bottom one. After that the bottom right one and now the corresponding tooth on top is coming in.— To promote bone growth, the child takes cod liver oil and Vigantol.20 Kitty is now walking around confidently if one leads her with both hands.

December 8, 1930 As I already mentioned, I am not at home very much. I only come home on Sundays. Nevertheless, the baby always recognizes me and in a friendly voice calls out to me “Ta Ta.” Kitty is forming words on her own. We never said “Ta Ta” to her, but rather Papa and Mama. For Mama she has the expression “Njanja.” The dog is “Wawa.” When she gets angry, she hits her hand on her mouth and without interruption says “ga-ga-ga” . . . She has a doll that can say “Mama.” It is interesting that she mimics its inflection exactly but in this case still says “Njanja.”—She knows all of the regular people in her surroundings. We determined as much because when we say the name of a certain individual, she points to the person with her finger.—She also has good manners: when she wants to have something, first she points with her finger and then, without prompting, says “please please” by hitting her hands together. She also knows how to say goodbye, which she does with a repeated “ta ta” . . . and waving. For the last two weeks the baby has had a healthy appetite and eats everything offered to her: grain coffee, porridge, various kinds of vegetables, buttered bread, bananas, apples, and oranges. Last week the doctor excised a small sore from her left nipple. I think

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

that it was another side-effect of her incorrect diet. The hive outbreak is also disappearing.

December 26, 1930 At this point we can’t ask for anything more as regards the child’s development. She has a good appetite; she gets five meals a day, and it is seldom the case that any leftovers remain from her portion. Kitty now asks to go to the potty. Of course it often happens that she only says “poo poo” when she is already wet. To teach her why doing this is incorrect, she sometimes receives a “boo boo.” Her protest was very loud and heartbreaking, such that one feels more like chopping off one’s hand rather than punishing the child again. Unfortunately there’s no other way.—But Kitty is clever and now she says “da–da” in advance and hits herself on the corresponding body part. Parents cannot resist such weapons.

December 29, 1930 Last night Kitty slept in her own bed for the first time. Beyond all expectations, the baby fell asleep quickly. Today things did not go as smoothly. The baby cried, but still fell sleep rather quickly.

January 1, 1931 Kitty has taken on a strange habit: when she is tired or sleepy, she rubs her palms on the ruffle of the first pillow she can get her hands on and sucks on it with her tongue. With her, sucking is in general a sign of some kind of bodily need, such as sleepiness or hunger. Today the poor child had her first accident. She was—as usual—quite lively, unraveled herself from her father’s hands and smashed her head on the wall. Fortunately nothing happened and the child soon calmed down.

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More pictures from the summer in Čadca. Kitty with her favorite dog.

Summer in Čadca.

Photographs from January 24, 1931, in Bratislava.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

February 21, 1931 For the first time it is noticeable that Kitty has a musical ear. Over the past few days, her mother has often been singing the new hit “Adieu, mein kleiner Gardeoffizier, adieu.”21 She sings along and says “adie,” also when one only sings the melody. She also says “Adie” when one prompts her to sing. Her vocabulary increases daily. She now says Mama and Papa quite clearly. “Papi” means eat; “haja” = sleep, also drive; “a–is” = Aunt Meier; “tsche-tsche” or “te-te” = pretty, agreeable; “baba” = doll, child; “wawa” = dog or any other animal; “hata” = vehicle; “pa-pa” = to go for a walk, to go; “da-da” = spanking; “baz” = to fall; “ba” = unpleasant; “ah” = water, etc. We will continue with this dictionary. Kitty again had a persistent rash that is now in remission. She is being quartz-rayed because her bodily development is moving ahead too slowly.22—Otherwise, she still has a good appetite and is as lively as before. She can walk quite confidently but she still doesn’t want to let go of the helping hand. Although barely holding on, she doesn’t want to give up this crutch that one can only call “moral support.” She walks around tirelessly. She wears out three adults. Aside from this she likes to crawl on all fours and can agilely slide around in the room with her training potty. For a few days she has had a sty that doesn’t want to heal. These days one sometimes examines such a thing with quartz rays.

March 10, 1931 A big event: Kitty got up and finally walked around on her own. Since a few days ago, we observed that the child was standing on her own, but she didn’t budge. Today she stood leaning against her mother and then began to run—to the bedroom and back. One could see that the child is happy to be able to walk on her own, as she screamed and laughed.

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March 15, 1931 One can see precisely how every day the child gets more confident with walking. It is interesting that the child always holds her left arm up. I think it can be attributed to the fact that the child previously held the hand of someone leading her. This crutch has passed into her subconscious and it will probably be a while until it disappears.

April 2, 1931 Kitty is now quite sure of herself on her feet. She has also gained a lot of practical experience with falling: that is, she falls down so carefully that she doesn’t hurt herself. She stands up without help and can lift herself when she sits on bended knee. Of course now there are new dangers: she opens all of the cabinets she can reach and pinches her finger when closing them. Then she runs to the closest adult to complain: “a boo boo! a boo boo!” Then she points to the spot that hurts for one to blow on it. In spite of this, she is back at the cabinets in fifteen minutes. Kitty has grown playful. She hides behind any given piece of furniture and then one looks for her: “Where’s Kitty?” Then she comes out and says “Here she is!” For ball she says “baji.” She throws it up over the wardrobe and then says in Slovak “Where is the ball?” It should be mentioned that we have a Slovak maid, from whom Kitty learns a lot of Slovak expressions. Her name is Magda.—Kitty says “Manta.”—She does the same thing with the big marbles (“gujika”) that her father got for her.

April 4, 1931 Today the entire Weichherz family went out on a walk. Past Schweighofer’s, the store where Mother regularly buys cold cuts. In the afternoon, Mother usually buys rolls for Kitty’s snack here as well. Today she forgot. When she got back to the carriage, Kitty protested “Papa, come!” And so we realized that she knew exactly in which store Mother gets rolls. Kitty usually wakes up at about 7 a.m. She immediately gets her break-

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

fast (grain coffee). If Father is there, there is lots of amusement. Kitty cries out “oioioi,” which means “pick me up.” The most comfortable place to sit is on father’s stomach. The next command is “Hoppa-hoppa!” Then riding school starts. The accompanying march is “Hop hop hop, horsey goes gallop . . .” Kitty does not yet know what patience and perseverance are, because the horse will just barely be getting into the swing of things and she demands that it stop. She’ll communicate her newest wish—to go for a walk—by saying “paciujuj.” 23 She will scarcely have been set on the ground when she naturally she falls down. First she quietly states “hapa” = fell down. But her desire to keep walking disappears. Then she gets the urge to go visit her father in his bed. As a ploy she complains “A boo boo!” After the spot that apparently hurts is blown upon, she demands “oioioi” and the story starts anew. The parents eat breakfast around 8 a.m. Kitty gets the soft part of the rolls. She remains in motion during the entire feeding. Only after she has chewed and swallowed the entire mouthful does she come back to Mother and demand more food. During this meal Kitty also has to have in her hand a piece of a roll, from which she breaks off tiny morsels that she alternately feeds to Mother and Father.—At 10 a.m. she gets another banana and then she goes with Mother on their midmorning stroll. This lasts until noon. Then they eat lunch and following that comes the afternoon nap, which Kitty is usually hesitant to take. She rolls around, but her shirt, which is closed at the bottom, hampers her movements. Kitty knows what to do in that case as well: she sticks her little feet out through the buttons. This incidentally is becoming a game that she plays in the absence of any other company. Kitty says, “Where is the footsie?” and then immediately provides the answer by sticking out her foot: “There’s the footsie.” Then she says “Batz” and lets herself fall back into the pillows. In that this game poses specific dangers for Kitty’s head, the bed has of course been appropriately safeguarded on all sides. But Kitty can also be obedient. When Mama comes over to the bed with a serious face and says: “Kitty, it’s time to go beddy-bye” then she lays herself down, finds the corner of a cushion and sucks on it like a pacifier. Usually she then falls asleep and usually the nap lasts until 3:30 p.m. After her snack, Kitty is left with the maid, who takes her out for a stroll. Kitty was close friends with “Manta” (Magda). It sometimes even looked like Kitty preferred her over her mother. Manta was also an excellent playmate, who much to Kitty’s delight did all sorts of silly things.—

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She left on May 1 and in her place came “Ingange” (Hanka).24 Those were some bad days. Ingange spoke a language that Kitty did not understand: Hungarian. There were all sorts of commotions when Kitty was to go out on a walk with Ingange. Her joy upon returning was that much greater. Kitty finally realized that the Hungarian language can be learned as well and over time, Ingange will become a good companion for her. After the afternoon walk, in the evening, is her bath. One could say it’s her greatest pleasure of the day. As with everything, however, it has its downside. Even the bath has to come to an end sometimes, but still she protests loudly and energetically. After the bath Kitty dutifully goes to sleep. She is already used to the fact that the room is dark. She falls asleep immediately and only wakes up the next morning. On June 1 Kitty went with Mother to Čadca. She’ll spend the whole summer there.—During the journey she talked enthusiastically to a man she didn’t know at all. Otherwise she was quite well behaved.

October 29, 1931 We have very much neglected the diary entries over the last few months, which makes it difficult to catch up now. In the interim Kitty has become a big girl who speaks and understands everything. Only mental developments were noticeable over the summer. Physically she remained the little pipsqueak she was before.—During her entire stay in Čadca she suffered a lot from rashes. Since she’s been back home, they have disappeared entirely. She doesn’t have all of her teeth yet: she still lacks her canines and two incisors, but her molars have already grown in. This unpleasant side of the vacation in Čadca nevertheless did not prevent Kitty from always being cheerful. She is friendly to everyone and greets them. If someone is particularly nice to her, then she shows off how much she knows. She is learning a whole slew of nursery rhymes. She will recite them without being asked and will dance along.25 One day Uncle Marci came to visit and she got her hands on him too. She immediately wanted to show off and called us into the kitchen, where there’s a lot of space: “To kitchen!” We had to dance with her and I sang along “Ring around the Rosie.” What pleased her most was the line “Kitty turned herself around and Uncle Marci turned her head around . . . ” For days she kept saying “Uncle Marci turn Kitty head around.”

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

We also had one night that gave us quite a scare. Kitty had intestinal cramps and her whole little body was twitching. But the matter passed over quickly and without incident. Ingange even claimed that Kitty was the victim of an “evil eye” and for protection she arranged some kind of hocus-pocus. Kitty regularly spent afternoons with Aunt Hela.26 Hela suffered from sciatica almost the entire summer, and so Kitty’s company provided a nice diversion.—She didn’t get along well with Omiri, but since she could cook there, she would have gladly gone there every day. She was Grandpa’s guest for breakfast and her snack. A grateful audience for Kitty. He let her crumble everything into his coffee, had to eat on her command and also had to be checked: “Grandpa, say ahh!” (Of course when her mother fed her, she also had to “say ahh” to determine if she actually swallowed everything.) Among the other bits of knowledge she has acquired, she copies Grandpa’s prayer. She put a cloth around her neck and bowed and said “bu-an-bu.”27 Grandpa had a sand pile set up for Kitty in the garden. An El Dorado for childhood fantasy.28 Here all conceivable things were buried and then dug out again. Aunt Inka procured a small wheelbarrow.—She also got a nice little carriage for her dolls from the nice Doctor.29 And all the other aunts and uncles took care of the dolls, three in total. Kitty named all of them, specifically the names of her playmates: Mädy, Vera, Luci. She also has a Macko and a Peter. They’re all placed into the doll carriage in order and then thrown out again. The carriage is outfitted with a cushion and a poplin blanket. She then puts everything in “ohduh” (“order”) and calls everyone in the area to help. Sometimes she’ll tell someone to “pooh” (“pull”) and at that with both hands, otherwise she protests “ok other hand pooh” (“ok, pull with the other hand”).30 For a while Kitty has been afraid of flies. We chase off the flies with a “shoo fly!” Soon Kitty also says “shoo, fwy!” But what has happened is that now Kitty dismisses anything not to her liking by saying “shoo.” Grandma in particular has had to hear it more than enough times. When she is displeased she can also bite. Ingange often had to feel the brunt of her sharp little teeth. How strangely these base instincts express themselves! Some photographs follow on the next page. The two large ones are from April 15. The remaining images are Father’s first forays in photographic art. On September 7, Kitty, Mother, Aunt Inka, and Father traveled back

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Kitty’s first stroll on her own two feet. One can see precisely her clumsy insecurity.

March 15, 1931.

Miki, Kitty’s favorite.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

home again.—For Father now the situation is worse than before because he can’t come to Bratislava as often as often as he could go to Čadca. Inka spent her three-week vacation here. Since she [Kitty] has been back home, all of her rashes have disappeared. We have to assume that the air or the water in Čadca is harmful to her. She is also putting on weight more easily here and looks better. The child’s intelligence is now developing rapidly. She is now speaking in complete sentences. She understands everything and uses newly acquired words correctly. She also carries out conversations with other people and responds as well. Of course sometimes really droll things come out: “Kitty, give your father a kiss.” But then Kitty sits down on the toilet and responds, “No, Kitty doesn’t want to. Kitty has a dirty

October 3, 1931.

(left) October 3, 1931, and (right) October 20, 1931.

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butt.” She also uses admonishments that were directed at her toward others when she is dissatisfied. When she did something inappropriate, Mother said to her: “Phooey, Kitty!” But now she’s always saying phooey to whomever. Spankings don’t help. She is also defiant and hot-tempered, which earns her punishment. If one denies her or if she doesn’t succeed in something, she screams and bites, which gets her a spanking. She often bites her lips bloody. For this reason, Father gave her a harsh spanking and then she sobbed so miserably that one really wished the spanking hadn’t happened. She stands there so pitifully that it breaks one’s heart. But she is quite forgiving. If one tells her to go play or to do something, she goes willingly, her face still wet with tears. Not long ago I took out something from my dresser. Kitty was soon there and she made a mess of all of my collars and ties and so I had to reprimand her. Insulted, she said, “Kitty go away.” “Where to?” I ask. “Danube” is her laconic answer.31 After a little while I hear her little voice from the neighboring room: “Papa, Kitty ahweady come back.”—When the clock strikes she asks, “Who’s there, Woodica? [Rudica]”32—In short, she takes an interest in everything. And when one asks her something to which she can’t give an answer, she herself then asks “Well-well?”—When she wants to be picked up she still says “ojojo.” She plays alone for hours. As of recently she no longer wets her bed and praises herself for it: “Kitty good girl. No bed pee-pee, no pants pee-pee—yes?” Before she goes to bed she says good night to her parents and always repeats “Kitty no bed peepee and no skatch-skatch.” (Scratching). “Mama go other room. sweep tight. kissy.” When I’m home, we all eat breakfast together. Papa has to do “ojojo” (pick her up) but he doesn’t like to do this as much as Grandpa. The only thing Kitty wants to do is observe how the sugar slowly disappears in the coffee. When she sees that I’ve already had my porridge and water, she says “Papa no go office. Papa stay with Kitty.”—No, no, my child, Papa has to go to the office.—Today she tried to stop me from leaving in the cutest way: she brought her little chair to the door and sat herself down. “Papa can’t go!”—One is powerless in such situations. You have to find another way to leave and feel ashamed when you do. Kitty eats almost everything. She can now chew decently and so she is getting bread that still has its crust. Her meals are prepared like they are for adults. She’s now getting chicken.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

December 1, 1931 Kitty’s second birthday. The presents again rained down. From Rudica a beautiful little dress, from Uncle Turo the story of Max and Moritz.33 From Aunt Juliška building blocks, from Aunt Blanka a golden armband and from Čadca some money.—Papa was able to stay home that day— but also because he had a strong cold that forced him to stay bedridden. This gave Kitty an opportunity to demonstrate her tender side and willingness to sacrifice for others: —She demands: “Kitty want a little ojojinko [carry me] from Papa!” —I have to turn her away. “No Kitty, Papa has a cold.” —“Kitty also want a cold.”— Shortly thereafter a box of candy arrived from Aunt Juliška. “Kitty, Aunt Juliška sent this for your birthday” says Mama. To this Kitty says: “I want to eat birthday!” This afternoon she sat down in her armchair with her picture book and read the text by herself. The first time we observed that she recited the corresponding text after the image.34 She has also learned a whole slew of songs, but there is still no trace of a melody, i.e. she makes her own primitive music for all of them. Currently her favorite song goes something like: “I have an old aunt / I always ask her for money / And if you don’t have an aunt / then go and get yourself one!” or “Little colorful calf / She has no ears she has no tail / She’s always barking the same song / Kitty pees her pants.”35 I suspect that the maid was teasing the child when she experienced such a misfortune and Kitty is just babbling back what she heard.

December 9, 1931 This afternoon Kitty went up to Mama and said: “Mama, Kitty did somfing (something) in the room.”—“In which room?”—“In the bedroom” Her face looked anxious. Mama went over to see what happened and took note that a plant had fallen from the window sill.—The confession was considered as a mitigating factor and so the delinquent was exonerated.36 In the evenings Kitty asks her Papa if he had fun playing at the office.

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December 28, 1931 Kitty has had a cold for the past few days. It’s such an unpleasant thing for small children because one can’t wipe their noses properly. Now one hears every so often: “Kitty got dirty nose.” The reason is that Kitty is quite tidy. For example, she can’t bear it if her dress is disheveled and won’t let herself be put in an unclean dress. She reserved a big drawer in her changing table for her toys. When Mama tells her that she needs to tidy up and promises her something if she does so, then in a few seconds everything is in the drawer—one dare not ask how. Ultimately one can’t demand so much of a two-year-old child. Naturally it also happens that Kitty has no desire to clean up. But she doesn’t say “Kitty doesn’t want to” or something similar, but rather: “Kitty smart.” “Why?” “Kitty not want clean up.” Papa has been on vacation since Christmas, and thus he has more opportunities to observe the child and take note of the funny things she does. The following episode happens every morning: “Mama, pee-pee.” Then Mama sets her on the potty and after that back in bed, because this first wake-up call usually occurs before 7 a.m. It’s quiet for a while, but then the demands get more and more frequent. First a modest request from the corner: “Mama, bwing Kitty coffee.”—later: “Mama, put on dwessing gown and house shoes. Bwing Kitty coffee.”—then finally “Mama, lay me in bed

Photographs from October 20, 1931.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

an hour; bwing Kitty coffee.”—After that there is no further delay. Mama inquires whether the milkman already came and prepares breakfast for Kitty. She still drinks from the bottle because it’s more comfortable that way for everybody. When her stomach is satisfied, other wishes follow. She demands toys and when she tires of them (which happens quite fast) then she expresses her wish to go to Papa. Papa is a good playmate and is good for all sorts of foolish antics. Mama isn’t always in agreement with them. Important educational and health reasons are given, of course. I don’t want to doubt their correctness, but with one’s own child it is also a good thing to become a child again. Yesterday afternoon I was there when Kitty woke up from her afternoon nap. She called out in a still-drowsy voice: “Mama, Kitty finished wif sweeping.” I went over to her and said “How’s your nose?” She answered laconically: “It’s wunning (running).” On account of her cold the child has had no appetite and energetically rejects feeding: “wegabul” (vegetables) and with the second spoonful one already hears “Kitty no want no more.” It’s better with soup and she remains quite excited about sweet desserts. She constantly says “Taste good!” and “Mo! (more).”37 Last night the child coughed a lot. Probably because all of the phlegm collected in her throat. Finally the poor child threw up. After she recovered, she said: “Kitty threw up. It was bad.”38 Kitty has a lot of tenderness in her. One perceives that she feels good when she can caress, both in words and in deed. Her kisses are heartfelt. Incidentally, Uncle Turo taught her how to kiss. Since December 1 we have had a new maid. Her name is Emma and she is an ethnic Hungarian. During the first days the two talked past one another, Kitty in German and Emma in Hungarian. Since then Kitty has developed the habit, when playing by herself, to babble incomprehensibly. We soon learned that for her, this is “Hungarian.” It is astounding how quickly a small child learns. She can now make herself understood completely in two languages.—A few days ago I had to punish the child. Shortly thereafter I heard Emma ask “Why are you crying?” to which Kitty answered in Hungarian: “Daddy spanked me.”

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January 10, 1932 Kitty can already recognize melodies. I play something for the child on a harmonica. Right away she asks “What are you playing, Papa? ‘Fox you stole the goose?’”39 Then I’ll play a little more and she’ll get it. It is interesting that she figured out singing and melodies at the same time, for up to now, the tune was almost the same for all songs.

January 17, 1932 Kitty is still into this “phooey!” business. If she doesn’t like something, she immediately says “phooey!” She has no qualms saying it to the maid in particular. This morning she was with Papa in bed and demanded Emma bring her her dolls. When she brought them Kitty said “phooey” instead of thanking her. She then got a slap from her father on her choicest spot. Under this “pressure” she quickly corrected herself and said thank you in Hungarian, but the corners of her mouth were turned down. Papa didn’t want things to get any worse. “Now you’re a good girl, Kitty. Give me a kiss. But one mustn’t say “phooey!” The kiss renewed the friendship. Of course, such an episode is not so significant that it might not happen again over the long term. By the evening everything had been forgotten and during dinner, when Mama did something not to Kitty’s liking, “phooey!” was again on her lips. Papa’s warning “Kitty!” caused the little rascal to change the “phoo” harmlessly: “Phoo—fox you stole the goose . . . ” And one is supposed to keep a straight face!

May 9, 1932 What pleases us most about the child is her unaffected manner in every situation. She gives everyone an answer and if requested she’ll sing some of her songs and she can also state our address—with her full name, of course. Kitty is already quite grown up. She has her own will—but also her moods, that often play out unpleasantly. She has a well developed spirit of contradiction, which often leads to Mama screaming and Kitty getting spankings. She also knows quite specifically that Mama is stricter

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

than Papa, and she takes advantage of it. This is incidentally not surprising, since Papa is only at home two days a week. The moodiness developed during her last illness. The rampant flu also overtook her and she was bedridden for five days. Mother tells me that during the first days the fever greatly sapped her and she laid quite apathetically in her little bed. It’s no surprise that in such a situation one indulges the child in everything. Until now, however, this was not the case: she didn’t want to take the medicine the doctor prescribed. Even forcing the issue only resulted in her taking small amounts. Since the medicine was red, she was for a while suspicious of everything red. She didn’t even want to eat cherry compote. During her convalescence, the child had no appetite. But as soon as she was well enough to go outside, she quickly gained back the weight she had lost. Now she has a good appetite and isn’t choosy. For months she has had a rash on her face that won’t heal. According to the doctor it’s connected to her digestion. Probably from milk. The child was subjected to all conceivable and inconceivable cures but with no success. For weeks the child got various salves and powders. She had to sleep with gloves on so that she wouldn’t scratch herself to pieces. Nothing helped. In desperation, Mama finally gave up on everything and now the child gets only some Nivea cream. Now the rash seems to be getting better. The child can also eat everything because none of the dietary regimens worked. Hopefully nature will help. The child’s patience was admirable. She got so used to the gloves that she even asked for them. A few times lately Kitty wet herself when out for a walk. Mama gave her a spanking. It is strange that such a mishap recurred since she is so afraid of spankings. One time the extent of this fear became clear to me: I returned home one afternoon from a trip and immediately went to find the child. I found her outside on the sidewalk at the very moment the girl realized the catastrophe had happened and she realized she faced punishment. Although at other times the child greeted me joyfully, when she saw me this time, she was so horrified that her crying immediately escalated into wheezing. The child obviously had the impression that I appeared as a nemesis there to punish her. I was so moved that I was able to convince Mama to skip her punishment. I don’t know if it is merely a coincidence but since then, the child has not wet herself. The child’s ability to understand is sometimes bewildering. She hears turns of phrase and then uses them. Sometimes funny things come out. I

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already described how she chases Mama out of bed so that she’ll make her breakfast. Today, however, she also reminded me of my responsibilities: “Papa, get up, it’s already 7:08.”—I always asked to be woken up around 7 and she surely seized upon this. Recently we had a war in the playroom. Lici, Kitty’s neighbor, was here. The parents wanted the children to give each other a kiss. But they moved toward one another and they crashed their noses hard. Kitty does not put up with such things and so she struck Lici. Although Lici is otherwise quite peaceful and patient, she flew into a rage and—knowing that she was innocent—gave Kitty a real slap.—Kitty was crushed and began to cry. But Lici, noble adversary that she was, gave in to this display of emotion and called out “Don’t cry Kitty, Lici will give you a kissy there.” She meant the spot where she’d hit her. The deed followed the offer and peace was sealed. Adults could learn a lot from children.—Kitty also appears to have taken noticed of the matter, for today, when she got a “boo boo,” she came to me and asked that I give it a “kissy.”

May 25, 1932 Kitty is apparently beginning to learn what fear is. Until now she would go into a dark room without hesitation. And as is known, every night she is laid down to rest in a dark room and left alone there. This evening at twilight she again ran into the bedroom, which was already quite dark because the shades had been let down for the night. Suddenly her footsteps slowed down and she came back to me quickly saying “The policeman is in there!” One thing is for certain, and that is that Kitty is quite lively and disobedient during her walks. To get her back in line, she is threatened with the promise that there’s a policeman who beats disobedient children.40 I don’t agree with this method of controlling the child’s temperament. One should bring her in line through one’s own authority. Women are apparently weaker and one can scarcely expect anything better from the maid. I also suspect that the maid threatens the child with the dark room story, although she denies it. Right after this incident I took Kitty by the hand: “Come, let’s go and see if the policeman is there.” Kitty followed me without hesitation. “Where did you see him?” I asked. She pointed into a dark corner. We went over and made sure that there was no one there. Then I turned on

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

the lights and also showed her in this way that no one was in the room. Who knows if I am pursuing the right method? By the way, Kitty isn’t exactly heroic by nature, nor did she inherit any such disposition. She doesn’t like it when one swings her around and she is only satisfied when convinced that she won’t get hurt. It is, by the way, not our wish to raise her such that she becomes reckless or a daredevil. I would just like to keep her from becoming easily frightened or from losing all sense of security in the dark. Incorrect upbringing allowed a fear of the dark to become so entrenched in me that I only overcame it as an adult, during the war years. So now it is my deepest wish that our child not have to suffer so.—

June 6, 1932 Yesterday, Sunday, Kitty experienced many new things. She was entrusted to her father’s care. He tries to provide the child with everything he was denied during his own childhood. Now a trip in the streetcar is no longer anything new to her. Then we took a propeller boat down the river to the countryside. Before she got in, she was a little afraid but excited. She kept on saying that she didn’t want to go into the Danube, only into the “fish” (instead of boat). But by the time we returned, she didn’t want to get out and made a fuss. In the countryside we saw a spring with goldfish in it. There I noticed that Kitty still gets disoriented. She thought she was in the Friedrichspark—as she has been every day of late—and asked about the guard there. Then we went to the “zoo.” One shouldn’t think that Bratislava really has a zoo. It’s just a little house with a similarly small garden. There are small aquariums in the house and a few cages in the courtyard. A section with songbirds and parrots, then a small eagle, four or five monkeys, a pair of martens, a polecat, a few young foxes, [Uncaptioned]. two deer and a raccoon. We first saw

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“I’m a photographer too!”

two mean monkeys. They were rather unruly. Kitty was afraid and often said “I don’t want the monkeys.” But there was also a small chimpanzee that was quite nice. Kitty quickly got friendly with it. We gave him some of her cake to eat. But when Eman (that was the monkey’s name) tried to show his gratitude by using his hands, Kitty started to shriek. “I don’t want him . . . Tell him to go away . . . ” After that didn’t help and I turned to her and told her to endure the monkey’s caresses, she insisted: “Let’s go home.”

Three women from Čadca with their children.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

Kitty with Dénes.

At home, Mama determined that I am not a good “maid.” Of course Kitty expressed the wish at several points in the day to “pee pee.” On one occasion I wasn’t able to open her little trousers quickly enough and so a small bit of her accident went into her underpants. But the greatest sin was that I didn’t notice this immediately, only when we got home.

On July 8, 1932 Mama and Kitty began their summer vacation in Čadca. We took a direct express train all the way to Čadca. Kitty was able to sleep well because we had a compartment all to ourselves. The trip passed without incident. Kitty has become good friends with Dr. Haaz and gladly goes to his office. One day Aunt Inka went along with her. The heel on Inka’s shoe broke off on a step and she almost fell down the stairway. By coincidence, Inka had just warned Kitty about being careful while on stairs. When the accident happened, Kitty said: “You see, I told you, you have to watch out.” Even several weeks later, she would always warn the person who

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Papa had some bad luck with his vacation. It wasn’t until July that there were some very hot days on which we could go swimming.

Kitty did not want to be photographed. That’s why she’s weeping so much. Aside from that one can see white spots on her arm. That’s the salve. Kitty naturally got her rashes again in Čadca and they bothered her a lot. The poor child is totally mottled. As one can tell, she calmed down and after her nose was wiped, she gladly stood—as one can see—in all possible positions.

[Kitty with relatives in Čadca].

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accompanied her to Dr. Haaz’s office: “Watch out that your shoe doesn’t break.”—It must be noted in general that in Čadca, Kitty was quite disobedient, and because of this Mama gave her many spankings. Lilka, her nanny there, spoiled her too much. She learned what it means to talk back. An example: Papa was leaving on a trip. Kitty said goodbye and gave Papa a kiss. But when Mama instructed her to wish him a safe trip back, she said: “No, Papa should come back home sick.”—Grandma tried to threaten Kitty when she was misbehaving by saying that she’d end up with Tommy Holzmann.41 But later, Kitty thwarted such threats: when she disagreed with Grandma about something, she said “Go see Tommy Holzmann.”

These pictures were taken shortly before our departure [from Čadca]. She enjoyed the trip so much that we couldn’t get her out of the car. One sees as much in the pictures. When she’s in the car she beams with happiness, and when we tried to get her to pose for a picture in front of the car, she got quite cranky.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

September 10, 1932 The trip back was not particularly pleasant. We had lunch in Veľká Bytča. Everything was going well and we secured the child in the seat backwards so that she could take her afternoon nap. She had just started sleeping nicely when we had a flat tire. A few kilometers down the road we encountered a truck that had tipped over and we helped set it upright. Kitty slept until we reached Trenčin. We had to wait there and because the car was standing still, she woke up. On the way from Nové Mesto nad Váhom to Trenčin the poor child was stung by a bee. Mama felt nauseous during the whole trip. In Nové Mesto we took a longer break. While Father was negotiating with a customer, Mama went for a walk and Kitty stayed in the car with the driver. After a little while Kitty came to me and said: “Papa, poo poo.” Although measures were taken as quickly as possible, I soon realized that the catastrophe had already occurred. The matter was so urgent that the child had even told the driver about her problem, but he didn’t understand what she meant. He thought that the child wanted something with her hands.42 The most unpleasant part was that the child had to wait around in her dirty clothes until her mother got back. When she did she got everything back in order. That was our last stop. At 8:30 in the evening we arrived in Pressburg. Although Kitty was quite sleepy, she greeted her dolls, stuffed dog, and other toys and with irrepressible joy. Emma had made sure that everything was set up and waiting for her!

October 10, 1932 Kitty has gotten better but only since she has been here [in Pressburg]. Her color improved, as did her appetite, but the main thing is that she no longer has rashes. Čadca doesn’t seem to have a good climate for Kitty. At lunch today she threw up everything. Apparently something she ate yesterday upset her stomach. But she has no fever and we’re hoping it wasn’t anything significant, since she ate her dry roll at dinner and had a hearty appetite.

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October 23, 1932 Kitty got to hear her first real fairy tale: “Little Red Riding Hood.” She was so enchanted and delighted by the events that she forgot to close her mouth. Of course all of her dolls had to listen to the story too. One could see exactly that the red coat and hood were the most interesting things. Aside from that she was also intrigued by the nasty wolf. At night Kitty didn’t want to go to sleep. We went for a stroll and after that had a nice time playing. When it reached 8 p.m. and Mama insisted that Kitty had to go to sleep, Kitty, in tears, resisted but Mama insisted: “It is already 8 o’clock. You have to go to sleep, Kitty.” Then Kitty looks

A belated winter photograph.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

down at her little metal “wristwatch” and says: “My watch says it’s only 7:30.” It was the first time that Kitty didn’t want to go to sleep. Otherwise she can’t keep her eyes open at that hour.

November 1, 1932 The first stirrings of sexuality have revealed themselves. As with every child, they were elicited by the daily washing of her sex organs. The wiping with the soft towel clearly arouses pleasant feelings, since every time she laughs aloud. The consequences are already there: she makes her own attempts to elicit the pleasant feeling. A couple of times the child was caught in flagrante. Such activities are also revealed by the odor on her hand. How should one face this danger? Will punishment and threats be of any use? It can already be said that the child is quite sensitive. A single word of reproach and she breaks out in tears. The great tenderness with which the child can reward kindness and forgiveness is also proof that she has a lot of feeling. She is independent-minded and disobedient, but not stubborn and quick to reconcile. Our deepest wish is that she keeps this happy, sunny disposition. Aunt Juliška is visiting today. A woman in her forties, but still in good shape for her age. Only an eye problem left its mark on her face. Kitty conversed with her with much excitement. Among other things, she pointed to the corner of her eye and asked “Why do you have that mark?” I can iron it out for you.”— Kitty already speaks three languages: she speaks German the best and most often, Hungarian with the maid, also quite adroitly and with a large vocabulary; Slovak she learned in Čadca. She can basically make herself understood, and if she can’t find the word, she uses the German or Hungarian and skillfully adds Slovak endings.

December 1, 1932 Today Kitty is three years old, and so I want to speak a bit about her character. Of late she has become disobedient and stubborn. When one calls her, she raises all possible objections, and then, when one forces her

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to obey, she cries miserably. I tell myself that all of these carryings-on are nothing more than her imitating adults, and I object to any punishment. I see kindness and patience as the only remedy. But when punishment is absolutely necessary, then moral punishment: send her to sit in the corner or something similar. I was already convinced of its good effect and then the child came to me to ask forgiveness and give me a conciliatory kiss.—She also has a consciousness of guilt. Recently she was disobeying her mother. She was reprimanded, after which, with tears streaming forth, she then asked “Should I go stand in the corner?” When I get home, she tells me that she was well behaved and obedient “—but I bit Lici” or “I wouldn’t give Emma my hand.” Were one to punish the child in such situations, I think it would only produce stubbornness and the tendency to lie.

Winter photographs, 1933.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

We have no idea what to do about the biting. Kitty is hot-tempered. The slightest provocation suffices for her to bite her playmates, the maid, and even her toys. She has already received spankings, but these angry eruptions recurred. I tried to arrange it such that I would force her to ask forgiveness from Lici immediately and then to give her a conciliatory kiss. She does it after some hesitation, during which she finds all possible excuses: “Yes, but I’m really tired”—or—“I’m already sleepy.” As of December 24 I have been at home, because for fifteen days we aren’t traveling for business. Since then Kitty has been eating dinner with us. She sits proudly next to Papa and I must say that she behaves herself quite well. She waits to be served and doesn’t demand anything. She simply asks: “What are you eating, Papa? Do you like how it tastes?”—But recently she was in fact misbehaving and disobedient, such that I was forced to pick her up off her chair and place her in the corner. She was quite despondent because I set her down facing the wall. It was moving how miserably she cried. She begged me let her come back to the table and promised to behave. When I lifted her back into her chair again, she said: “I was so angry.” “Why?” I ask. “Because someone made me sit in the corner” was the answer. Kitty speaks German impeccably. I often hear how she corrects Lici’s errors.—Lici also smacks her lips when she eats and gesticulates when she speaks. Kitty was ready to take on these bad habits, but we didn’t let that happen. Now she corrects Lici. How pleasant that Kitty is sleeping well. As was previously the case, she

Winter photographs, 1933.

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goes to bed between 8 and 8:30 p.m. She says goodnight to everyone with a kiss and has no objection to staying in a dark room. She sleeps 11–12 hours. Interruptions occur only rarely. In the afternoons she also sleeps for an hour or two. Sometimes she doesn’t get enough: on many days it takes an hour for her to fall asleep. She lies quietly in bed, but she sings or mutters aloud until one interrupts her.—She is slowly forgetting the finger sucking. She only does it when she’s half-asleep. Her pronunciation is now quite pure. From her first beginnings with speech, only the “ojojoj” remains.—She still doesn’t notice melodies. She likes songs, but she still lacks any concept of music. She has developed a strong sense of order and cleanliness. If somehow she gets dirty, she won’t tolerate having the piece of clothing on her any more. Splashing around in water is one of her main pleasures. She already noticed a while ago that Mother uses skin cream, powder, and lipstick and so she copies her. We are also very pleased with her great tenderness. To express her love, she invents all possible love names. Of course they sometimes sound quite funny, such as “Papsh” or “Popele” for Papa.—Every time I return home from my business trips, she is overjoyed, which she shows with tender kisses and hugs.

March 5, 1933 Kitty did not have a good winter. At the beginning of January she had the flu. The illness itself lasted only three days, because Kitty was a good patient this time and nicely tolerated the hot compress that stayed on an hour and a half. At the start she cried and cried, but then she calmed down and said: “Papa, I like you so much—do I have to have this compress on for much longer? “No, my child, it won’t be much longer.” I then had to tell her about Little Red Riding Hood and Jancsi and Juliska.43 In the meantime she kept asking: “How much longer?” A half hour . . . 25 minutes, etc. Although she still had no concept of the value of numbers, I could convey a sense of time passing and thereby keep her in a good mood, even though she still complained several times about the heat she had to suffer through. A week later she again had a severe cold, and another week after that, a sore throat and a fever over 39º C. The high fever caused a canker sore.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

We realized then that we have to take everything the child says seriously. The child once said that her teeth hurt. We paid it no attention until we saw the sores and infected areas in her mouth. For four days the child could be fed only with liquids. Kitty was a very good patient the whole time. She was open to anything. She let the doctor peer down her throat and took all of her medicines as she was supposed to, and diligently flushed out her mouth with medicinal tea. And the whole time the child remained in high spirits, even during the time of the highest fever. Naturally her dolls had to participate in all of her illnesses. They also received medicines and compresses and, depending on Kitty’s mood, were good or bad patients. During and after her sore throat Kitty was to drink lime water as a disinfectant.44 After she recovered, she again asked Mama if there was any lime water left. To Mama’s question, “Why?” she answered: “I’ll be sick another time and then you’ll have to go to the pharmacy again.” The child recovers quickly from her illnesses. She has a good appetite and her color is good. The good weather was also a contributing factor. One can conclude, however, that she still isn’t completely well because by the evening she is tired out and expresses it by getting irritated easily. It now happens frequently that she won’t let herself be undressed and starts to cry miserably. It often occurs to me just how powerless such a small child is against the will of grownups. I think often back to my own childhood and on the basis of this insight, try to be gentle, at least to the extent that it is in the child’s best interests. But what are the child’s best interests? How do we know if we are doing the right thing? Sometimes the whole project of child rearing seems like a violation of nature. We want to make our child into an exemplary person, and so we admonish and punish every error, and yet only rarely does it occur to us that the child is in fact copying us. Thus we are punishing our own errors. So “then” are we not also children, and do we not also have our own questionable behaviors? We also don’t like it when we’re not allowed to keep playing or if someone takes away our toy. But we don’t display our feelings as candidly as a child and thereby think we are well bred.

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May 7, 1933 Kitty has nicely recouped the weight she lost during her bad winter. She has a decent appetite, has put on weight, and looks very well.—One new achievement is that she is already washing her mouth. She learned to

Winter photographs, 1933.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

gargle when she had her throat infection. A few times she even swallowed the Kalodont, but otherwise nothing happened.45 Kitty has also visited the theater for the first time. It was a matinée, organized by the Animal Protection Society.

(top right) Kitty in her little bed before her afternoon nap. (middle row, right) Also taken by Uncle Turo. (bottom row, far left) Kitty defying gravity.

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She liked the parts in which children participated. She was preoccupied and paid no attention to her surroundings. Later adults started lecturing. Only one person stood on the stage. The silence and darkness clearly had an uncanny effect and she started to cry. From that point on, she cried as soon as the room got dark and I had to take her outside. When we left the theater, she saw and heard a fountain and said “Look, Papa, it’s raining. That’s too bad, because I was hoping to go for a stroll.” I didn’t immediately know what all this was about, until she showed me where it was “raining.” As much as I could, I explained to her what a fountain is, but she was still amazed at why it was raining over there but not where we were standing.

(bottom center) Kitty fell down and made a boo boo on her knees. (bottom right) A reflection.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

The Easter holidays just took place. Lici’s parents celebrated the holidays in accordance with Jewish rites. But in that they didn’t want to change Lici’s food, she came to us to eat her roll.46 Once Lici also brought along a Hagada—to pray, she said.47 Kitty wanted to keep up with Lici and said, “Mama, please bring me my Max and Moritz so that I can pray too.” Uncle Turo likes to emphasize that he’s Kitty’s rich uncle. For her part, she passes this information on whenever she has the chance. The great similarities between the two create abundant conversation topics for them. To Kitty’s questions he explains that they have the same eyes, nose, and mouth. Then Kitty asks: “I have a blemish on my cheek. Do you have one like it too?” One day she came home from a stroll and found that we had company over. When we told her to greet everyone, she said “Greetings, everyone!” in Hungarian. We have no idea where she learned that. It is well known that children want to have everything that they see others have. Yesterday was Mama’s birthday. When Kitty woke up, I wanted her to wish her mother many happy returns. But she asked: “Why should I say that?” “Because it’s Mama’s birthday!” I explain. Then she got excited: “I want one too!”

[Uncaptioned].

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Today we came home late. It was already dark. Kitty was sitting on my arm and chided herself. “Such a big girl and she is still sitting down ojojoj!” Then she looked at the sky. “Why is it dark already? And why aren’t there any stars in the sky?” I responded: “One can’t see the stars today because they’re covered by the clouds.” Kitty: “Well why are there clouds in the sky?” Me: “Because it’s going to rain.” Kitty: “Why is it going to rain?” Me: “Because the ground is dry.” Kitty: “I’ll go get the fire truck and then the ground will be wet, isn’t that right, Papa? And then we won’t need the clouds any more and we’ll be able to see the stars again.” When she feels insulted, she says: “I’m really disappointed in you.” She says this because when I’m dissatisfied with her I always say that I’m really disappointed when she misbehaves or is disobedient.

Uncle Marci took this photograph a year ago in front of his apartment with Boris.

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933

We recently got a gramophone. It has helped the child sharpen her musical ear. Now she can sing the melody and she also knows the lyrics to the latest hits. She’ll even make up her own melodies to accompany with her own words. When she sees the maid coming, she sings in Slovak, “You’re so bad!”

May 15, 1933 We spent yesterday with Aunt Rudica and Uncle Marci at a bistro.48 It began raining so we had to retrieve the car. Along with Papa, Kitty ate garnished Liptauer cheese and apparently upset her stomach. Yesterday she didn’t want to eat dinner and today she also ate hardly anything. After her afternoon nap her temperature was 38.3°. Dr. Brandl says that the matter with her stomach is unrelated and that in fact her larynx has an infection which he estimated will pass in two to three days. Kitty is a good patient. She is on really good terms with Dr. Brandl. She opens her mouth for him, sticks out her tongue, and doesn’t cry at all. She took all the medicine that the doctor prescribed as she was supposed to. Before she went to bed her temperature was 37.5°. The illness ran its course normally. Her stomach was affected as well, since Kitty threw up during the night. She is quite afraid of throwing up. Crying, she reproached her mother and asked why she made her eat. Finally she said: “It doesn’t matter since I’ll starve anyway.” Kitty received a little suitcase from Aunt Rudica. Whenever I get ready for my weekly business trip, she gets her little suitcase and packs her dolls’ clothes and her toys in it. Čadca is her regular destination. She always asks, “Is my car here yet?” She got that question from me. Incidentally, it is now common practice for her to adopt the speech she hears, whereby very funny things often come out.

End of First Notebook

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Feeding charts.

(top) Amount drunk daily as of the end of each day in decagrams. (bottom) Weekly total in decagrams.

Weight chart.

Weight chart.

notebook 2

June 1933–June 1942

June 25, 1933 Recently she was misbehaving and was supposed to apologize to me. Mama said, “Kitty, don’t be naughty, apologize to Papa” to which she replied, “In a word, I won’t say anything!” Mama then said “Look, Kitty, go to Papa and then the whole matter will be settled.” So she came over and said, “Papa, don’t be angry, and then the whole matter will be settled.” Today for her snack she got raw carrots and rutabaga. She came over to me and said: “Papa, have a taste, the carrots are first class.” Unfortunately I can’t reproduce her intonation here; it’s an exact copy of her mother’s intonation. Recently Kitty has been rather disobedient, and as soon as one chastises or corrects her, she immediately starts to cry and her whining doesn’t cease. She immediately calls off the friendship with a “I don’t like you” or “I’m going away.” Today she said to Mother, after I reprimanded her, “Papa should leave, I don’t like him.”

[Uncaptioned].

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June 28, 1933 Kitty has had many happy days of late. Klári from Čadca has been staying with us while she takes her entrance exams for the Girls High School. When she came to us, Kitty was speechless with bliss; she hopped around her and beamed with happiness. Finally she spoke and she led her immediately into her little room where she had piled up all of her play things and showed her all of her treasures. This is proof that she holds her in the highest regard, since otherwise she will not tolerate it when someone else touches her playthings. Early the next morning, both children were lounging so comfortably in their large beds that it was difficult to get Kitty out of hers, which is not usually the case. If Klári does well on the test, then she will live with us starting in the fall. Since Klári is such a well behaved girl and very well bred, we hope that her stay with us will have a good effect on Kitty. For the first time in a while, Kitty received a spanking from me. She is stubborn and whines at the slightest provocation. It was already rather late; even Klári was already in bed, but Kitty absolutely insisted on ar-

[Uncaptioned].

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

ranging her dolls. A while ago I gave her a little inflatable cushion on which she usually puts her dolls to bed. But she just couldn’t find the right placement and then, in her rage, she began to shriek and stamp her feet. I wanted to help her. But as much as I tried to help her, she wasn’t satisfied with what I did; so she screamed and cried and—in spite of all of my cajoling and my warning—kept at it and finally she said, “Go away, you’re stupid!” Then I had to spank her, but only pro forma. Even if it didn’t hurt, she still had a reason to cry, and as she sobbed, she fled to the remedy that heals all wounds with the words, “Oh I’m so sleepy.” While I was getting undressed she told all of us, including Klári, that she was breaking off the friendship: “Klári should leave! I don’t want to sleep in the same room as her!” (The reason for this is that she was ashamed to have been punished in front of Klári.) When she was already in bed and I had wished her good night, she demanded kisses from Mama and me, and finally she said: “I want to give Klári a kissy too.”

July 23, 1933 On July 1 we went to Čadca. Kitty was well behaved but she didn’t sleep this time. During the first week in Čadca we had gloomy weather. Rainy and cold. Kitty also has a playmate this year, Tonka.1 She gets along with her well. When the weather is good, we spend mornings in the garden and sun ourselves. Since one can’t go swimming in the Kysuca River because muskrats have taken up residence there, Kitty has been given a tub with cold water that heats up in the sun. She’ll splash around in it for a whole hour. This year we won’t have a lot of photographs because Aunt Inka took her camera with her on vacation and I gave mine to Boris as a present. We only have one photograph from a day we spent in Predmerska. Kitty still hasn’t put on much weight here. When we arrived, she weighed (with clothes) 14.10 kg. But this year she had significantly fewer rashes than in the past. Yet one can’t see any bodily development. One sees that she is indeed growing, however, from the fact that she can now reach every doorknob and can open and close doors by herself. Her intellectual development is normal. That she has her own free will is becoming increasingly more noticeable. Of course it expresses itself the most when she talks back, which often earns her punishment. This year she is practically at war with Grandma. But they still love each other a lot.

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[Uncaptioned].

This one could see when Grandma went to Bytča and Kitty desperately asked who would cook for her. Today my vacation comes to an end. I’ll only have Kitty again on Saturdays.

September 21, 1933 Čadca is not a good place for the child. In the first month she didn’t have any rashes, but she made up for it in the second. In fact they were pox. And she didn’t gain any weight either. To the contrary. Mama had to leave the child alone in Čadca for a week while she was having our apartment painted and cleaned. In her absence, Kitty had an upset stomach and fever, and when I picked her up, all that remained were skin and bones and big, red spots from her rash, which in some places exuded pus because they became infected from the child’s scratching. The child’s upbringing has also suffered, since a child is quite receptive to people indulging her. Consequently, she talks back and disobeys. The guiltiest party in this connection was Tonka. Tonka idolizes the child and lets her boss her around. One rarely sees the kind of patience and endurance that Tonka showed for child on this day. Kitty’s grandparents have also treated the child with tenderness and have been willing to indulge her, which of course only builds up the child’s moodiness. With Aunt Inka it was somewhat different. She was loving and strict

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

with the child, but she still let herself be led around by her own moodiness and nervousness. Aunt Hela and Uncle Gabi made for good playmates for Kitty. She didn’t have much contact with the neighbor’s children. The Reich family’s children, Vera, Tomi, and Ivan, continually had sore throats and measles. Klári and Mädi weren’t much interested in Kitty because they’re significantly older. They came by now and then and played with her as they would with a doll. But because Kitty always wanted to assert her independence—which incidentally I consider a good character trait—they lost their patience and went on.

(top row) Here is a picture of Tonka that shows how she drives Kitty around in the wagon that Klári loaned her.

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In that she was for the most part in Tonka’s company, Kitty mainly spoke Slovak. And so this language has become the one that she most commonly speaks. I even think that she thinks in Slovak, because when she plays alone, she says her monologues or dialogues in Slovak. And whenever she speaks German with us, she mixes in many Slovak words. Otherwise she speaks German impeccably, and it is becoming increasingly less common that one has to correct an error. She has forgotten Hungarian almost entirely. This year Kitty got along very well with Grandma. Aside from her normal spirit of contradiction, there were no differences of opinion between them. Once when Grandma went to Veľká Bytča, Kitty became despondent and asked “But who will cook for me if you’re not going to be here?” and tears welled in her eyes. Incidentally, Kitty has become quite a whiner. The howling begins with the slightest opportunity. As a consequence of her disobedience, it has been necessary to forbid her certain things and immediately her mouth begins to quiver, the tears flow without end, as if it were a matter of life or death. As soon as one wants to get her to do something, one has to become extremely energetic. Mama often loses her patience and a deeply felt slap on the choicest spot often follows. As a consequence, Kitty has the greatest re-

Here is a photograph in Pressburg taken on the Günthergasse by Aunt Rudica.

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

spect for Mother. When she has a guilty conscience and Mama simply looks at her harshly, then she trembles in fear of punishment. One day she wasn’t taken out of bed until much later than usual. It was usually the case that Grandpa was sleeping in the next room and when she awoke, he would go and get her. But this time he had gotten up earlier and Mother also had to go off somewhere. So it happened that she couldn’t hold it any more, and until Grandma arrived, her bed was wet. Her first question concerned her mother and then she excused herself by saying: “The pee pee didn’t want to stay in my butt and it ran all over the bed because nobody came for me.” She blurted out all of this while sobbing profusely since she indeed knew that a big girl is not allowed to “make pee pee” in bed. But in that she really was not responsible for the accident, she was not punished either. On September 4, a Sunday, I picked up Kitty in Čadca. The reunion was only joyful for Kitty. Her upset stomach and the subsequent fasting regimen had totally emaciated the child. She was quite pale. Thus the red spots left behind from the rashes were even more pronounced. Even so, on the trip back she behaved herself and was good. We finally arrived home at about 9:30 in the evening. Exhausted from the trip, she was also overexcited, which meant that she had to be carried to bed with a lot of hooting and hollering. Since then she has recovered nicely in Bratislava; she has some color in her face and has gotten a bit rounder. Only her tendency to talk back has not relented. We’ve been told this is a normal state of affairs that will pass after a certain amount of time. Aside from this she’s not taking her afternoon nap. She is still set down in her bed every day, but she doesn’t sleep. Out of habit she is as quiet as a mouse there and she entertains herself there by shifting around the entire bed. The proclivity for masturbation has again cropped up, in that she has also discovered paths through her pyjama bottom. The situation is naturally being strictly policed.

October 1, 1933 The best proof of what good observers children are came when, after only the third day, I again went to police Kitty. She stretched out her hands without me even having to ask. We have a new concern with the

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child. Her bones are not well developed; they’re not retaining enough calcium. As a consequence, she already got shoe lifts in the spring, because she’s pigeon-toed and walks with her feet turned inward. There’s been no improvement so far. Moreover, Mama noted over the summer that one of Kitty’s shoulder blades, the left one, is lower than the right one. Last week she was examined by Dr. Weil, the orthopedist. He diagnosed scoliosis. That means a curvature of the spine. The child has to do exercises under the doctor’s supervision. He also prescribed that she sleep in a plaster bed for a while.2 People in the know have told us that this condition often comes about in children who have weak bones, but they can rid themselves of it in time if they perform directed gymnastics.—So Kitty has been exercising at Dr. Weil’s for a few days now and she clearly knows that she is doing “orthopedic” rather than “rhythmic” gymnastics. She says this to anyone who wants to know. Physically, Kitty has recovered significantly since she returned home. She has gained back what she lost in Čadca and has added to it over 40 decagrams. She now weighs 14.5 kilograms.

November 1, 1933 Kitty has gotten used to the plaster bed quite nicely. She even requests it herself, because Dr. Weil asks her about it daily and she doesn’t want to have a guilty conscience. She has also been diligent and hardworking with the gymnastics. She is presented to the older children as an example. When she received the plaster bed, she went over to the doctor, took out her purse in which there are a couple of Austrian Groschen and paid him one. She feels quite comfortable at Dr. Weil’s house, goes around freely in all of the rooms and even introduces herself as the best gymnast in front of the other children. During a casual conversation with the gymnastics teacher, she said that her father is named Béla Weichherz, “but also Gačisko” and her mother “Til.”3 Over the past weeks Kitty has behaved much better. She doesn’t whine so much any more. We think it’s related to the fact that the child has put on an additional half kilogram. There are of course setbacks. Aunt Olina was visiting and she gave her a very ungracious welcome. Kitty seems not to like her, for in spite of repeated admonitions, she couldn’t be convinced to behave herself in a friendly manner.

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

In the meantime Kitty visited the cinema for the first time. She was really quite excited when we entered and she had a delightful time and laughed a lot. It was some comic pirate story in which the actors were children. Aside from that, she goes to Aunt Fábry’s day care in the afternoon. She feels comfortable there because she goes willingly and is always quite proud when, equipped with her bag of snacks, she “goes to school,” and thereby establishes herself as being on the same level as Klári.—We are pleased to say that the child is not at all shy, quickly acclimates herself to any situation and makes herself well liked with others. We would very much like to keep her that way.

November 5, 1933 On Wednesday we were at the cinema again. Kitty behaves herself quite reasonably during the screening. Of course she still can’t say what kind of impression the events on the screen leave on her. She laughs at funny or strange parts. But it remains to be seen whether that laughing is genuine or if she is just laughing along with others. The plot doesn’t captivate her for long periods of time, but if she doesn’t understand something she asks. When figures are far away and thus small, she thinks they are children. A particularly thrilling moment will make her tense, which she expresses by reassuring me how much she likes me and in the mean time she hugs and kisses me affectionately. Apparently these outbursts of tenderness in the dark room are a way for her to reassure herself that I am with her in this strange situation and will protect her. It has already been a while since she first expressed her insecurity by asking “Mama (or Papa), what are you doing?” For instance when I’m brushing my [Uncaptioned]. teeth or taking a shower. (She likes to

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watch me when I’m grooming myself. She also likes to watch when I’m shaving and I have to put a little bit of the shaving cream in her hand.) These bathroom conversations will soon have to end, since she is beginning to notice the difference between man and woman.—A short while ago, Mama, Klári, and Kitty were together in the bathroom and she realized that Klári has blemishes (that is, nipples) like hers. She ended her observation by saying, “And you, Mama, have such long ones.” Asking the question “Mama, what are you doing?” is apparently helpful to her in situations she finds difficult, and she also poses it when the doctor examines her now and then. Recently she learned a Slovak song about an orphan from Mariška.4 Then she came to me and asked “Papa, what’s a syrota [orphan]?” “That means a child who doesn’t have any parents. Do you know who your parents are?” She then said “You, Mama, and Klári.” Klári is her idol. In that there’s another Klári in our social circle, she calls ours “Klárika.” The child appears to be as sensitive as Mama. Today I slammed the door after a disagreement with Mama. The child got scared and started to cry. Sobbing, she said, “I don’t want to hear Papa slamming the doors like that.” I was really quite ashamed and so I went to her immediately and asked for her forgiveness accordingly. With that she quickly calmed down and as a sign of reconciliation gave me a kiss of her own free will.

March 16, 1934 It has been a long time since I have written anything and for that reason I am unhappy with myself. I even let the child’s fourth birthday pass without writing. I don’t know the reason. But I’m quite sorry about it because much that deserves to be recorded as characteristic has gotten blurry in my memory. In spite of its mildness—or perhaps precisely because of it—winter was very bad for the child. A series of illnesses each took its turn. The child experienced many colds, bronchitis, the flu, and even angina. Hardly had she recovered from one illness, she’d succumb to the next. Even a quartz ray treatment could not keep her from now being bedridden with angina.5 She was coughing for a long time and now it’s happening again. The doctor said that the child is too delicate and needs to spend a few weeks in a mild climate and to gain at least 2–3 kg. We are very

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

much afraid of Čadca, because the climate there is quite harmful to the child. Lake Balaton has been suggested, but even today I don’t know how I could afford it.6 These illnesses also impacted the scoliosis cure, since the child could neither do her exercises nor sleep in the plaster bed. Even the afternoons at day care had to be given up. Hopefully springtime will come soon because the sun’s warmth will help the child recover. Regarding mental development, some lovely advances can be noted. It has often occurred to me how the child mimics what she sees and hears without understanding the meaning. For example, I observed that in her joy to see me Kitty with Klári, the new maid. again, she always ran over toward me bent forward and with her arms stretched back. In the beginning this posture puzzled me. Then I realized that we always bend forward when we go to her and she was imitating us. These and similar matters show that the child at first imitates without comprehending. Now her understanding and also her sense of fantasy are coming into play. For instance, she plays cinema. The lamp has to be turned off so one can see only the illuminated dial of the broadcasting radio, which also stands in for sound and image. She says “ojojo!” and I have to pick her up and she sets her doll in her lap.—Recently she saw Hansel and Gretel in a film and so she tells the doll the explanations I told her and she gives it a piece of candy, just as I gave her one. There are also intermissions, during which the doll has to “go pee pee” and Kitty gets annoyed, just like I was: “Children as old as you should be able to hold it until they get home!” The last time she was at the cinema she saw Hansel and Gretel and followed the entire plot. At home she repeats what happened and explains it to her dolls. Kitty was quite difficult to manage over the past few months. She had weeks in which one couldn’t get anywhere with her through kindness. She

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got a lot of spankings from Mama because she was often disobedient, stubborn, and smart-alecky. Last week she told me I was “stupid” because I wouldn’t let her tip over a chair. So I then gave her a couple of smacks on her bottom. In such cases, she immediately calls off the friendship: “I don’t want to see you ever again!” “I only like Mama!” “Fine, Kitty”—I respond—“Then I won’t speak with you again until you stop asking me to not be angry and you don’t give me kissies.” Then I left her room, where she whined for a while longer. Then I overheard her talking to Klárika. I didn’t hear what Klárika said since she talks quietly. I only heard Kitty saying: “No—I don’t want to”—and—“it doesn’t matter” was repeated several times. With tears of emotion in her eyes, she whispered: “Papa, don’t be angry anymore. I’ll behave.” A quick, heartfelt kiss followed and then she ran happily back into her little room. But then there will be days when she is well behaved, kind, and tender. She seems to have a good heart. A short while ago, Aunt Hela had a baby girl. I told Kitty I was going to Sillein to visit Aunt Hela.7 She ran back into her little room and brought out various toys. “Papa, please, take this along for Bibi.” (The newborn had been given this nickname.) When I returned, I brought her a large teddy bear, which can also growl.

March 17, 1934 This morning the doctor was here and he diagnosed measles. The child has to be kept warm until this evening with hot beverages so that the rash will appear. Toward evening the child had a fever of 39.2°. She behaved quite well and let us do all the necessary things to her. Last night was very bad. The child coughed almost without interruption and on doctor’s orders she is not allowed to do anything so that the course of the disease will run its course unimpeded. Now the child has to stay in bed until next Sunday and for ten additional days after that she can’t go out. As regards her moral development, it must also be added that the child tells lies. But here one distinguishes between different categories of lies. Sometimes dreams and fantasy are confused with reality and presented as fact. It also happens that she’ll go around telling a lie as a way to boast. And finally, she will tell lies to protect herself from punishment. One day she brought home some putty from day care. When Mama asked her where she got it, she lied and said that Aunt Ilanka had given it to her.8

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

“Good,”—Mama said—, “I’ll ask Aunt Ilanka about it.” The child defended herself by saying “But if I just told you then you don’t have to ask.” She had to take the putty back and she had to tell Aunt Ilanka that she was bringing back what she had taken. She did so without any sense of anxiety, which again proves that she had no idea about the meaning of her action.

March 24, 1934 Kitty weathered her illness well. Yesterday was her first day out of bed. The fever and the constant lying down left her greatly weakened. The first

(top) Easter 1934. (bottom) April 24, 1934.

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thing she did was go over to her wagon and pick up Mačko.9 At this point it became clear how weak she was, for she fell to the ground with Mačko. After she played for three hours, she asked of her own accord to go to bed and immediately fell asleep. Today she was awake for the whole day, and although she lay in bed for an hour after lunch, she didn’t sleep. During her illness she started her sucking again, which she otherwise did only at night when she awoke.10 She has also behaved much better and shows a lot of affection.

May 6, 1934 Kitty has recovered nicely since her last illness. She now weighs 16 kg and her color is good. On the other hand she’s been misbehaving and gives her mother a lot to do. Her major offenses are disobedience and

April 28, 1934.

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

whining. She talks back and always has a different opinion. Today she was again supposed to wish her mother a happy birthday, but she thought it unnecessary to do so. Only after sulking for a while did she go over to her mother, who by then got no particular joy out of it. Next week Mother’s Day will be celebrated at Aunt Ilanka’s day care. Aunt Ilanka stressed to the children that they were not to tell their parents anything about it. But Kitty could not keep the secret. She spilled the beans but kept emphasizing that Mama mustn’t know about it.

May 13, 1934 Today was Mother’s Day and Kitty was quite excited. From early morning on she spoke about it and got ready for it. For this occasion Kitty received a new, light-blue dress. First she went to tell Grandma Leinsdörfer.11 As she was running back, she fell on the pavement in the front yard and smashed her knee, cheek, and upper lip. The poor child must have been in a lot of pain, since she was crying miserably and, moreover, got thoroughly bawled out by her mother. It looked as though the child would not be able to go to day care and then her crying started anew. Compresses with aluminum acetate helped enough so that she was able to go at 10:45.12 Every child at the school played a role. Kitty recited hers effortlessly. I wasn’t present for the opening song and got there only when the first act began. The entire plot was as follows: two girls are sitting with their doll carriages in the park and talking about their “children.” A young boy comes over and reminds them of Mother’s Day. Then all of the children come out one after another and say what they want to give their mothers for the day in their honor. Kitty said (in Slovak): “I’ll bring my mother a live tulip, with which she’ll decorate our new apartment.” Other children recited small poems and songs. Finally a boy comes out and says: “There’s nothing to it. We’ll all give our mothers bouquets of flowers so that they’ll all be equally happy.” After that they gather together and sing another song. At that point Kitty noticed me. Her eyes lit up, but she kept singing. Right after the end she called out quite loudly: “That’s my Papa over there! I knew that he’d come!” Everyone laughed when she said that. Finally a big basket with flowers was brought in, and each child took a bouquet to give to his or her mother. Then the entire group dispersed as Aunt Illanka gave each child a slice of pie and received well-earned thanks from the parents.

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Summer 1934 in Čadca.

Summer 1934 in Čadca. (bottom right) One can see in the small picture on the bottom how the poor child scratches her knee [because of her rash].

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

Kitty’s injuries are healing quickly. She has a red spot on her face, but she still enjoyed the afternoon at the bistro.13

October 1, 1934 The summer in Čadca was no better than the previous ones. During the first days the child developed a rash. One can see in the small picture on the bottom how the poor child is scratching her knee. In general the weather was rainy. Hardly a single day passed without rain. We went swimming with Kitty only two or three times. Nevertheless she had gained 60 decagrams by mid-August. She weighed 15.60 kg. But then the epidemics came. First she had a stomach flu, which passed without any particular consequences. Meanwhile all of the neighboring children had mumps. We hoped that Kitty could be protected and discussed returning home on August 25. But when I arrived in Čadca, the child had already caught the disease, and her face was completely swollen. Uncle Kálmán said that Kitty would be able to travel by Sunday. But it didn’t work out that way. On Tuesday and Wednesday Kitty was able to get out of bed just a little. Wednesday afternoon she was lethargic and listless. She asked to go to bed. By the evening her fever was 40°. Uncle Kálmán did not know what to do and so he consulted Dr. Politzer for advice. They could find no cause whatsoever for the high fever. The high fever broke on Thursday, and the doctors were able to get to the bottom of it. They determined that it was because of the “remission of the adenoma.”14 On Friday the child wasn’t so feverish and on Saturday, when I came to Čadca, she had no [Uncaptioned]. fever whatsoever and was again cheery.

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Mama said that the child had lain in bed apathetically on Thursday and Friday. On Sunday we drove home and figured out that she had lost 80 decagrams during the illness and thus weighed 14.80 kg when she got back. This year’s vacation was botched in every regard. Mama also had a few bad days. She upset her stomach—probably on some bad salami that she ate, as usual, without bread. Mama thinks that if she feels any sort of discomfort, she’ll feel better if she doesn’t say anything about it. So too this time. By the evening she was feeling ill, but she didn’t say a word. Early the next morning Kitty got in our bed and the three of us played for a little while. Then Mama and Kitty went into the living room for breakfast. She could hardly reach the room and collapsed unconscious onto the divan. Grandma was the first one to notice. She poured some cold water on her and put some vinegar compresses to put on her heart. But it didn’t help. Only then did they call me. Uncle Kálmán wasn’t at home, so I had to get Dr. Politzer on the phone. In all the excitement I told him that Mama had poisoned herself. So that the doctor would come sooner rather than later, I ran across the street in my pyjamas to send over Uncle Kálmán’s car. By the time I got back, Mama had regained her senses. The doctor determined that Mama had severely upset her stomach and, as a consequence, the nausea had weakened her heart. Mama had to stay in the whole day. She was quite weak and wasn’t allowed to eat anything. The child was present when Mama collapsed and was so frightened that she couldn’t be calmed down. She didn’t want to leave her side and only after she saw us lead Mama back into bed would she agree to go out and play in the garden, but she came back every so often to ask how she was doing. One should not downplay the fall’s im(top) Bibi and Grandma. pact on the child, for even I was so deeply

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

shaken by the look of the pale, lifeless face with closed, unexpressive eyes, that the image etched itself deeply in my memory. Kitty is recovering slowly because she doesn’t have much of an appetite. “Biomalz” was recommended to us.15 It’s a supplement that tastes good and has to be taken three times a day. But Kitty got it into her head that she wouldn’t take it. Nothing we did helped. She began to cry and wouldn’t listen to any coaxing. Finally, I said that she should just try it and if she thought it tastes bad then she wouldn’t have to take it. But the hooting and hollering only got more intense. I lost my patience and she received a spanking. I hoped it [Uncaptioned]. would make her obedient, but I was deluding myself. She got more pigheaded and I got more livid. She got another spanking, this one worse than the first. Mama rescued the child and whisked her off to bed, where she finally succeeded—but only with force—in getting the child to swallow a spoonful of Biomalz. The poor child had a tough time recovering from her sobbing, but she still gave me a kiss and, without any prompting, asked my forgiveness. “I’ll be good now, Papa.” This made me feel guilty. The more one gets upset during the excitement, the more purely one sees how unjust it is to hit a child. I could find no peace and went again to the bedroom to see if the child had calmed down yet. She wasn’t yet asleep and when she saw me through the crack in the door, she smiled at me. Just to say something, I asked, “Have you said your prayers?” “No, Papa, but I want to give you another kissy,” she answered. I would have liked most of all to cry and give myself a twofold spanking, if I could go back and take it all back. Kitty learned an evening prayer from Klárika: Now I’m sleepy, time for bed I close the eyes upon my head

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Father, please do good watch keep Over me as I here sleep I beg you that you might excuse Any wrong that I did choose I pray for people big and small Please God take care of them all. Amen.16

“Good night, sleep well, and have sweet dreams of little angels.” Until now we have not tried to instill any religious education in the child because we wanted to leave it to her to form her own opinions later. But Mrs. Leinsdörfer’s maid, Karolinka, objected to these plans. She told the child every possible Bible story about Christ, who is in the heart of every person, and about His Holy Mother Mary. The child recounts these stories to us with excitement and conscious devotion. Of course the effect didn’t last long, because we moved into our new apartment at the end of June and Kitty was thereby removed from any further influencing on the part of Karolinka. Yes, we moved into the new house on Tiefenweg Street and now have a significantly nicer and more modern apartment. Nevertheless we left our old apartment with a certain wistfulness. Indeed, it was the place where Kitty was born. And now total strangers live there. We won’t ever really be able to see the place again where Kitty first saw the light of the world, babbled her first words, and took her first step. But the man of the city really has no home at all. From childhood on, he wanders from one apartment to the next, and until he’s grown up, he has no idea in which house he was born. Perhaps he doesn’t miss it at all, since the man of the city is also usually more level-headed. Before our move Kitty had another experience in our old apartment that ended sadly for her. Uncle Karcsi’s little boy visited us with his mother. They were our guests for a few days. Tommy is a bright boy and is much more intelligent than the average five-year-old. He and Kitty soon became friends. On the very the first afternoon he stormed back inside from the terrace where he had had been playing with Kitty and said in Hungarian: “Aunt Esti, I told Kitty that I am in love with her.” “How did you do that?” we asked him. “Well, I told her that I will marry her and I kissed her.” He spoke quite openly, like an adult, and also sang Hungarian songs—all of them declarations of love for Kitty. The friendship did not, however, last long. Kitty is pushy and Tommy wasn’t going

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

to defend himself, so she just hit him in the face. The poor boy was so flabbergasted that he didn’t even think about revenge. I wanted Kitty to apologize to Tommy, but she sulked and thus got a spanking. And so they ended their friendship amid the howling, but after a half hour, everything had been forgotten. Kitty has regained the weight she lost in Čadca. Aside from her Biomalz

These four pictures are from Aunt Hela’s day care center. The first is of the children playing outside before their vacation. The following pictures show a snack time at which Kitty was the server. Every day a different child takes on this role and they’re all quite proud of it.

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—which she now likes to drink and which she requests I serve her when I’m home—she takes some stomach medicine that stimulates her appetite. She has started to make quite a production out of mealtimes. There was a lot of difficulty and a lot of resistance before she would drink her breakfast coffee. She didn’t want to eat and when Mama forced her, she threw up everything. The doctor says that she has to feed herself and that she should by no means be forced to eat. But she gets a bigger snack, which she the eats voraciously. Otherwise the main meals are enough. But we’ve also proposed not going to Čadca for a while. Kitty needs to spend a few weeks in the south next summer.

November 14, 1934 Aunt Hela told us that one boy hit a girl [at day care]. To break up the fight and have them make up, she said that a strong person should not use his power against the weak. Then Kitty asked: “So why do parents hit their children?” She is so right! Tommy Ripper visited Kitty again. I wasn’t home at the time so I can say nothing based on personal observation. But Mama says that they got along nicely with each other. Kitty crawled into Tommy’s bed every morning. They most often played mailman because Uncle Karcsi bought a toy postbox for Tommy. When they departed, he accidentally left it with us. It came out later that Kitty knew he’d left it, but she acted like she didn’t so that it would become hers. Meanwhile Kitty was sick with colds twice and coughed a lot. She has recovered now. Because Klárika drinks cod-liver oil, Kitty also requests it and takes it voluntarily without complaint.17 She wants to keep her enjoyment of cod-liver oil a secret so that no one knows how she got fat. She has a healthy appetite and weighs 16 kg. This autumn we went to the cinema a few times. Kitty always gets extraordinarily excited about it. But still nothing goes right. Today we wanted to see Sleeping Beauty, but the tickets were already sold out. Kitty was quite sad, but she didn’t show it. After we got home she said to Mama: “But I didn’t cry like the other children.”

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

December 1, 1934 Kitty’s fifth birthday. Above all something must be said about the presents. There were many of them because Kitty now knows to make a wish list. It must be noted that she showed a great sense for the practical. From her aunts Annica and Lisa she received dolls, one from each. One muchlonged-for wish was fulfilled by Klárika in the form of a pretty red purse, and aside from that she also received a little toy stove with silverware. From Aunt Inka and Uncle Turo she got some clothing items, and Mother fulfilled many desired wishes: a coffee service with fairy tale figures, a snack basket for her doll carriage and new house slippers; from Papa a batteryoperated lamp for her doll house; from Aunt Rudica, stockings. And Uncle Marci sent his congratulations in verse. We have glued the card here as a souvenir and reproduced the verse that was sent to Prague as a thank you.18 Uncle Marci wrote for his kin Verse with the finest rhymes therein And Rudica our Aunt so wise Clearly she did recognize The need to keep my tootsies warm For soon we’ll see the winter storm. The verse you sent uplifts my heart And the socks for my feet also did their part Today and always good is my mood Because you comprise our kin and brood Before this page meets with its end To Dénes and Boris hellos I send My Papa wrote down every line And master it he did so fine And Mama helped me write, you know Kitty sends a big hello.

Incidentally, Kitty has made us very happy because her appetite is healthy and she is developing well.

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(front) Heartfelt wishes! (back) Sei gegrüsst oh Mägdelein; Das Du doch bist so klein und fein für klein und Gross ein Sonnenschein.

We send our greetings to you our sweet Because you are so small and neat For old and young, like sunshine—a treat.

Und weisst Du auch warum wir schreiben Und dabei noch Reimen neigen?

And do you know why we so rhyme And thereby to such verse incline?

Es ist doch jene Jahreswende (Wünschen Dir schier ohne Ende) An welcher Du geboren bist. Behaupten diese wir’s ohne List.

It’s because we’ve ended another year (Since the time you did here first appear) We wish to you the very best We mean it—it’s not a test!

Es [g]rüsst dich nun die Rudica Auch Boris Dénes und Mareika.

With warmest greetings from Rudica And Boris, Dénes and Mareika

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

January 7, 1935 The new year began poorly for us. In the final days of December, Kitty began to lose her color and didn’t want to eat in spite of the cod-liver oil. All the signs were there that something was wrong with the child: the whole time she was moody, disobedient, and whiny. On New Year’s Day she made a pee-pee in her pants during a morning walk with Mama, which hadn’t happened in a long time. Mama gave her a harsh spanking, even though she implored her, sobbing: “Mama, I’m begging you please don’t be angry.” Later that afternoon, when I got home at about 4:30 p.m., Mama greeted me by telling me that Kitty had wet her pants again and thus got a spanking. I immediately expressed my fear that the child must have some illness and that was probably what caused the accident. My suspicion was confirmed on the very same day, for when we returned home at about 7:30 from a get-together, the child was burning with fever. Her temperature was 38.6°. Dr. Brandl came by early Wednesday morning but he could find no cause for the high fever, which had meanwhile risen to 39.5° and could only be lowered with compresses and medicine. Aside from that the child had to take castor oil and received only a liquid diet. On Friday the fever rose as high as 40.5°. All nutritious foods were withdrawn from her. She only got tea with saccharin and rice porridge and another dose of castor oil. She had to be forced to take the castor oil and then threw up everything she had in her stomach. The poor child was so despondent that to Mama’s threat of a spanking (she had quickly lost her patience), she answered, with resignation: “Just go ahead and spank me, Mama.” After lengthy coaxing she did in fact take some of the oil. The night was quite restless. Kitty had to go to the bathroom several times, but on Saturday her temperature was still consistently above 39°. Dr. Brandl brought along a second doctor who gave the child a blood test that didn’t reveal anything concrete either. In the afternoon we took the child in for x-rays. Nor could anything be found there. During these ordeals, however, we observed that the child was no longer so apathetic. Rather, she actively entertained herself and even asked for a new toy. The doctor suggested that we wait another night and then call in a specialist. But that turned out not to be necessary, thank God. Kitty played enthusiastically with her new building blocks until bed time, had a peaceful night, and on Sunday morning her temperature was 36.9°. Later in the

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day it then rose to 37.5° but one could clearly see that the child was returning to her normal activities. Today in fact the child was even exuberantly frisky. Her diet remains strictly regimented and she still has to stay in bed. Hopefully everything will now get back to normal, because both Kitty and Mama as well are both totally exhausted and both desperately need a break. Aside from these she can also write BÉLA, BIBI, and TOMY. Only the S gives her trouble. She can also write These are Kitty’s first attempts at some numbers. She’s quite skillful in handwriting. arithmetic and with counting. Klárika is her schoolmistress. When Klárika has her assistant with her, she’ll take paper and pencil in hand and do “exercises.” Klárika is taking French lessons. Of course Kitty has to participate in these too. It is interesting how silent she gets, how she pays attention to every word, and how playfully she acquires the vocabulary words she has encountered up to now. Not long ago Kitty came to me right after she had woken up with the question, “Papa, when are you going to buy me a cinema?” “What kind of cinema, my child?” I asked, suspecting that Kitty meant a laterna magica like the one that Uncle Karcsi bought for his Tomy.19 “You promised me that you’d buy me a cinema, Papa.” “When, Little One?” I ask. “Today.” “I couldn’t have promised you that today because we haven’t yet spoken with each other today at all,” I respond. Then she begins to cry and says: “Yes, but Papa, we were in front of the Friedrichspalais and Mama was riding a bike and you promised me you’d buy me a cinema.” I wrongly began to laugh, whereupon Kitty started to cry even harder. I realized that this was all from a dream that Kitty had merged with the present. But she was not to be dissuaded that it was in fact reality. As a result, I bought the child such a “cinema” and then she was blissfully happy. This afternoon I wanted to go to the coffee house but I couldn’t find my galoshes. Kitty generously helped me look for them without raising an eyebrow. After searching for a while, the galoshes were found and it was discovered that Kitty had hidden them in the first place.

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

January 6, 1936 I was irresponsibly negligent: a full year and I haven’t written a thing. There are some pictures of the past year here, but there is surely a lot that could have been said that in the meantime has likely already escaped me. Kitty was, thank God, healthy before and during our summer stay in Čadca. In Čadca she had very few of the rashes. But she also didn’t put on much weight. She only started to put on weight and grow after we returned home and she now weighs 20 kg. This year I didn’t spend my vacation in Čadca, but rather in Pressburg. During that time I had to go into the office almost every day since none of the bosses was in town. Of

These are pictures from the summer retreat in Čadca. Here one sees for the first time Cousin Bibi, in full Marion Dorith Goldstein, born in March 1934. Kitty is wearing her hair like they do in Prague.

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course this all came at the cost of spending time with Kitty. We spent most of our free time on the terrace. There are some pictures. We also went to the park in the mountains with big groups of people. At the end of June another end-of-year celebration took place at Kitty’s day care. We have some pictures of it as well. This season Kitty experienced, so to speak, her first love. Her beau’s name is Peter Koritschau. He is, as Aunt Hela put it, quite the little social butterfly who knows quite well how to weave a web of amorous intrigue. At first Kitty was quite indifferent to his courting. The appearance of a new girl at school, Mausi Neumann, helped him succeed. As we subsequently learned from Peter’s parents, he plotted everything out meticulously. He appeared to neglect Kitty and

(top left and center left) Roti has also contributed greatly to the merry-making during our time in Čadca over the summer. He likes to play a lot and never tires of fetching rocks.

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

began to fawn over Mausi. He succeeded brilliantly. Kitty came home completely annoyed and stated that she did not want to go to school anymore. Careful questioning elicited a hate-filled tirade against Mausi, who was nasty and disgusting. She also said that Peter didn’t want to play with her any more. But as soon as it was time to go to school again, she couldn’t leave home fast enough. As fate would have it, Peter arrived at the exact same time. Kitty immediately forgot her father and, hand in hand, the two raced up the stairs. I could barely follow them but I heard Kitty saying: “That’s my Papa. Do you know him?” Peter answered: “I don’t, but my Papa knows him.” Only after she had reached the top of the stairs did she realize that she hadn’t said goodbye and so she happily waved to me with a “Bye Bye, Papa.”

[Uncaptioned].

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The future in-laws also liked to see the their son’s beloved, for one day she came back from visiting Peter with two miniature parrots that she received as a present from Peter’s father. She threw them in the cage along with the canary. After one rendezvous, during which Kitty was again supposed to go over to Peter’s, his mother told me that he was totally brokenhearted because Kitty didn’t come. He stood on the balcony lookout for two hours. When his mother called for him, he asked if he could stay at his watch post longer. “Perhaps Kitty will still come.” In September Kitty experienced a great disappointment. Most of her friends were already attending school. But we decided to wait another

(top) [In Slovak] “If you only knew, children, how much I like to cook!”

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

year, in view of the fact that she wasn’t physically on the same level as the others and that she wouldn’t finish her sixth year of life until December 1. She had been intellectually qualified for school for a while. She can write all of the big, printed letters with ease, and has taken note of the structure of lots of words. She can count to 20 and can tell time if the clock has Arabic numerals. Her growing intellect has made her flippant and cheeky and she’s not embarrassed to tell a lie. This naturally brings on many punishments and spankings. This autumn she coughed a bit. Of course Mother tried to protect her from all air drafts. It happened once that Kitty was in the room as the windows were being opened. Kitty’s warnings came promptly: “Mama, I’m telling you, close the window! I’ll get sick again. Personally I don’t care but you’ll get all worried.” Kitty is taking an interest in current events. She heard a lot of people talking about the resignation of President Masaryk.20 She asked who his successor would be and then added “I won’t like the new Masaryk any more.” One can thereby see how the name of a great man becomes an idea in and of itself. Now a few words about the anxiety. It has increasingly become the

[Uncaptioned].

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Here one sees one of Kitty’s friends who started school this year: Trude Weiss. The difference in size is all too glaring, since Trude is oversized for her age. For her part, Kitty recovered quite well during the autumn months and has now grown.

(above). On October 1 [1935], we moved again. Here is the view of our new street, “Hejduk Street.”

(top) Hejduk Street. (bottom) This is Tomi Ripper, another of Kitty’s admirers. In that he lives with his mother in the country, the two just correspond with each other. He is an exceptionally clever and kindhearted child.

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

case that the child gets nauseous in anticipation of some event, even joyous occasions. She usually throws up and after that has no appetite. One can expect that this will become a daily occurrence when she starts school. Many parents know about this one. Kitty recently said to me: “You know Papa, Mausi is really naughty. She stuck her hand in her wee wee butt. I told her that her hand would stink but she did it anyway.”

May 3, 1936 For Fasching, Kitty’s day care organized a “dirndl ball” with the theme “five o’clock tea.”21 The children were quite charming. They danced various social and individual dances and at the end there were all the Fasching festivities with confetti and streamers. Kitty’s “partner” was Mausi Neumann, because there was no boy the same age. It is amazing how naturally the children moved around. It is peculiar how Kitty has a nervous fit before any big occasion, whereby she gets nauseous and often vomits as well. It always starts out with her not wanting to eat when she is conscious of the occasion. Under “occasion” one must include everything that isn’t part of her daily routine, for example, a friend’s birthday party. From the outset she asked that she not have to eat before Mausi Neumann’s birthday. Krista, the maid, accompanied her to the Neumann’s and later reported that Kitty threw up on the way there. The same thing happened before the children’s ball, even though she was looking forward to it. Previously it was the case that she liked to go to the cinema and to the theater. Of late, however, it has been more and more difficult with her because she always cries and is anxious. Two weeks ago I bought tickets for the theater. I didn’t say anything about it. She ate a proper lunch. At 2:30 p.m. we left home under the pretense of going to buy theater tickets. When we got there I told her that we would go and watch the play right there.— We had hardly taken our seats when she started to loll and shift back and forth. I wanted to distract her so I drew her attention to the many merry children energetically talking: “Kitty, see how happy all of these children are about going to the theater?” I said. She answered me, “I’m not happy at all that you brought me here, Papa.” We spoke a little more but then, all of the sudden, Kitty started to cry. I wanted to calm her down any way I could, but she only wished to leave because she felt nauseous. Then she let

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me hear about her first symptoms. I wanted to admonish her and threatened to spank her if she threw up. But that didn’t help. I had to take her outside, whereupon I lost my patience and Kitty received a spanking. That kept her from throwing up, but she did not want to go back into the theater. “Please, Papa, you can give me another spanking but just take me home.” And so we had to go home. In that they wouldn’t give me a refund for the tickets, I gave them to the first two nice-looking boys I saw, who delightedly ran into the theater. At home Kitty also got a scolding from Mama and as punishment she wasn’t allowed to go with me on a walk on Sunday. She begged my forgiveness but she did not change her behavior. Today she was supposed to go to the rehearsal for the Mother’s Day performance at her day care, and everything started to repeat itself. She didn’t want to eat lunch. I pointed her to the kitchen. There she ate a little meat, some of the side dish, and a pastry. After that we were to accompany Inka to the train and drop off Kitty at day care. Right away she felt sick and said, crying: “Why do I have to go to day care today too? I only get this one Sunday and even then I don’t get any peace.” But we went calmly to the train station. There she got distracted and the rehearsal was held without incident. On May 10, 1936, the big performance of Aunt Hela’s school for chil-

This group picture is the last photograph of the children’s year at day care.

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

dren took place. Aside from the fact that Kitty performed in Slovak, she played the lead role in a one-act play called “The Lady Cooks Alone.” (“Milost pani sama vari”). She was “the Lady” who gives instructions from a cookbook to a domestic servant about how to prepare her lunch, since the cook is sick. Of course, everything is done backwards: the soup is too salty, the roast hard, and the main course burned. The husband gets furious, the wife cries. As is often the case in real life, the play ends with the man begging his wife’s forgiveness; she promises to cook better and in return receives a new hat all because her husband got a stomach ache. All of the actors performed delightfully. Mausi Neumann played the servant and Hansi Strebinger the husband.

Kitty spent the summer of 1936, as usual, with her grandparents in Čadca.

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On May 13, 1936 Kitty’s first two bottom incisors fell out. Kitty faces some bad times ahead with her consistently toothless mouth. In connection with the school performance I forgot to add that it was held in the social hall of the Astoria Hotel. For the performance Kitty received a new costume of pink silk. She was rewarded for her great success with a box of candies from Aunt Josefin and from Aunt Irenke a bouquet of flowers.

May 23, 1936 Kitty has developed physically somewhat of late, but she remains behind the norm. Intellectually she is much further along. She is clever and as usual, sassy and smart-alecky. As proof: whenever Kitty says some precocious remark, Mama tends to express her astonishment by saying “hawible.” This word means “horrible” because Kitty can’t yet speak clearly.22 Kitty always gets angry when reminded of how she spoke as a baby and she forbids Mama to use this word. First she forbade her for a week, then a month, and then finally a year. In that Mama could never abide by these deadlines, Kitty got more and more livid. Finally she said: “Mama, you can’t say ‘hawible’ for 50 years. When you’re dead you can say it to the other dead people.” “Are you hoping I die?” Mama asked. To that, Kitty replied: “Should I be happy that you’re alive if you’re always spanking me?”

On June 15, 1936 Kitty was enrolled in school. She attends the public school on Zuckergasse.

September 1, 1936 Today was the first day of school. Great anticipation and of course nothing eaten.

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942 .

September 15, 1936 Instead of a gradual familiarization, as we expected, the anxiety appears to have increased. If she eats something before going to school, then she

(top) Hansi Neumann, summer 1936. (bottom) Here is one of Kitty’s first drawings from her time at day care. I think she was trying to depict a swimming hole.

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The top picture depicts a rower and the second one our apartment with “Mandi” the canary, who flew out of her cage.

(top) I don’t know what this third picture means. It is interesting primarily because of the worm-shaped forms on the horizon that are supposed to depict clouds. (bottom) This here is Kitty’s class. One can also see in the image that she can never stand still. It is even possible that she had to be reprimanded by the teacher on this occasion. This I conclude from her embarrassed smile, which appears when she gets a scolding.

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throws it up on the way there. She has class on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday mornings and on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday afternoon. The afternoons are worse because then she eats nothing at all. Of late she has gone into the kitchen and eaten a few bites there.

December 1, 1936 Kitty’s birthday took place, as usual, with presents from Grandma, Inka, Uncle Turo, and her parents. It is worth noting that Kitty can be quite modest. She wanted a doll set. She pointed out a more expensive one and a cheaper one in the window display. “The cheaper would be fine. You don’t need to spend so much money, Papa.”

February 1, 1937 Kitty came home with a “1” on her midyear report card. Her reading and arithmetic are exceptional. Her only weak point is some slight difficulty with her writing. Her teacher, Miss Mišková, is quite dissatisfied with her behavior, however. She is inattentive, loud and chatters too much. We are dealing with this matter at home a lot too. She talks a lot and asks superfluous questions. She doesn’t pay attention when others speak and thereby disturbs the adults’ conversation.

June 14, 1937 The first year of school is approaching its end. A few days ago I again saw Kitty’s teacher. She told me that she is among the best students. During the year she received five “pochválne listky” (highest commendations). But her compulsive chattering has also increased wherever possible. If at the end of the year she doesn’t bring home a “1,” it can be attributed to this. The nervousness improved in September. She slowly began to eat again and soon she was going to school without any anxiety. It also happened a few times that she made her way home by herself when her mother was running late. While crossing over the Spitalgasse she simply went to the watchman and he directed her over to the Mariengasse.

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

She has also provided additional evidence of her intelligence. One day the teacher had to go and talk to the principal. In her absence, she entrusted Kitty to supervise the class. (One always does this with the student who makes the most noise.) In that the students didn’t want to obey her, she made a quick decision and read a fairy tale aloud to them. When the teacher returned she found the class listening as quietly as mice. The teacher was pleased and instructed Kitty to read it to the end. Kitty’s dread of cinema and theater performances has also disappeared. We don’t understand how this came about. Perhaps it was the class trips to exhibitions and the like. Suffice it to say that one day, of her own accord, she said she would like to go to a performance for children, and thereafter, over the course of the winter, we saw several more fairy-tale movies. She was so moved when the mother died in Cinderella that she had to cry aloud. She also likes to listen to the children’s hour on the radio. The best ones are transmitted from Vienna. Once they did the fairy tale “Fallada, the Talking Horse.”23 Kitty sat next to the radio in the armchair and when the princess came to the gate where Fallada’s head was hanging and said, “Oh, Fallada hanging there!” and the horse whinnied in a low voice: “Ha ha ha! Oh young queen, passing by, etc.,” Kitty started crying softly to herself. We determined as much because the back of the chair was wet. I have been on vacation since June 6. Every day I go with Kitty to the Grössling pool. Kitty is learning how to swim. Today she jumped into the water for the first time. Three times in a row. Of course she held on to a rope. But there was a lot of anxiety and when she returned to me, then the bubble burst and she had a good cry. She only calmed down when I told the swim teacher that she had had enough for today. In the meantime her two bottom teeth have grown back and three more teeth have fallen out.

June 18, 1938 Another year has past since the last entries. Kitty’s report card from first grade had a “2” in writing but otherwise all “1’s.” There was no category for manners because otherwise she would surely have received a “3.” After school ended, the two of us went to Čadca alone, without Mama.

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We have also moved again, this time to 12 Grössling Street. That’s why Mama had to stay in Bratislava. We were together in Čadca for eight days. Kitty behaved nicely during this time. After my vacation time ended and I departed, her grandparents had a lot of trouble with her. She was everywhere she wasn’t supposed to be. Although expressly forbidden to do so, she once went into the woodshed, where chopped wood was stacked, and was retrieved just before just such a stack collapsed. Another time she disappeared without a trace right after lunch and came home nonchalantly as evening approached. She didn’t seem to care that in the meantime all of her relatives and acquaintances had been mobilized to find her. She was at some total strangers’ house, having made a new childhood acquaintance. Mama only arrived in Čadca on July 12 after she had been urgently called there, since Grandpa had a severe attack of chest pains. There were a couple of scary days, but finally Grandpa recovered. It must be noted that Kitty behaved quite well during this time and never forgot to bring Grandpa flowers every day. In connection with our move Kitty also had to switch schools. It wasn’t a bad trade, because the school is on our same street, only eight minutes

June 17, 1937. We just received these nice pictures from Mrs. Weiss, who lives below us on the fourth floor. The other two girls are Susi and Ági Weiss, Kitty’s playmates. Susi is a bit older than Kitty. She is already in second grade. Ági is not yet five. She likes Kitty a lot. The photographs were made on the balcony.

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

away. It is the Štefánik school, which is quite modern. The children have to leave their shoes in the changing room and put on “cvičky” (gym shoes). Every child has his own satchel containing a washcloth and soap. During the first semester there were parallel classes, as was the case at the school on Zuckergasse. Class took place three times in the morning and three times in the afternoon under the direction of the teacher Jelinková. Then a new school was opened in Rosenheim and many children were shifted over to it so that the parallel classes could be merged. Mrs. Jelinková took over another class and Mr. Horváth took over Kitty’s class. The exchange worked to Kitty’s advantage, because she previously said that Mrs. Jelinková surely didn’t like her, since she called all of the other girls by their given names but always called her Weichherzová. The new teacher seems to be more skilled at teaching, and during a personal consultation with him I became convinced that he is a nice person who spreads joy around him. In the past year Kitty has developed quite well mentally but physically as well. She did directed gymnastics with Dr. Neufeld during the entire year and he is satisfied with her bone structure. At the end of May this year she weighed 26.5 kg without clothes and is 121 cm tall. Winter passed without sickness, although springtime brought with it three illnesses, one after another. First rubella, then angina, and then a severe case of food poisoning, like the one she had when she was five. The fever was even more intense this time, since one evening she became delirious. It was horrible to watch how, with her glazed eyes, she would grasp aimlessly with her hands in the air and then laugh again and then say something nonsensical. I ran to get the doctor and when I returned, the child had come to her senses and when I approached her bed, she asked me when I would give her some more of the good medicine. During my absence Mama had given her a compress for her head, to which the child asked why a bowl was being put on her head. The fever lasted five days and Kitty was in bad shape. Now she is gradually recovering. The progress in her mental development has been quite good. She is an avid reader and one can observe that she also reflects on what she has read. This expresses itself in constant questions. If I can’t give her a sufficient answer, then she cites the particular passage in her book. Incidentally, she can read everything in four languages (Slovak, Czech, German, and Hungarian) and does so regardless of how she gets a hold of it. Her last book, for instance, was Tarzan in Czech. We read it together and then discussed it.

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She is also making good progress in school. She memorizes well and is good with arithmetic. Only her writing leaves anything to be desired. She also does not like religion. She also catches on to things that aren’t necessarily indispensable, for instance, how to play solitaire. She watched me playing a particularly difficult game with two packs of cards, so-called “Kings’ Patience.” Shortly thereafter I found her at the cards and she had correctly solved the puzzle. Later she learned to play rummy and bridge rummy and that is now one of her favorite pastimes when she doesn’t have anything to read. For when she has a good book, then everything else—including eating—becomes uninteresting. But as her intelligence increases, so does her sassiness. She is flippant and smart-alecky, and if something doesn’t go according to her wishes she stamps her feet in anger. I avoid spanking her, but threats don’t help either. Perhaps the most effective punishment is that when things get too bad, I send her out of the room. In January it happened that she was being flippant during dessert and so she had to leave the table and the room. She went crying into her room and laid herself down on her bed. (She still has the habit of saying an evening prayer before going to sleep and when she says it she still says something along the lines of: “Good night. Please let Mama and Papa and everyone else I know in the world live long and be healthy.” Aside from that she also has a prayer in Slovak. In that the final two lines escape me I’ll have to write them down next time). But on that evening she was still angry with me for sending her out of the room, and her anger had only cooled down to the extent that she simply left me out of her prayer completely. Her spirit of contradiction is causing us a lot of concern. Whatever one says to her, she always has to say no. In this regard she is following in the steps of her Aunt Inka. I have the feeling that one mustn’t counteract it too strictly, because this “no” comes out spontaneously, even when she is positively disposed to the matter. It is often the case that I just leave her at “no” and then return to the matter in another form and get her consent. Sometimes, after just a few minutes, she comes around on her own accord and then repeats the offer I made to her. This constant saying of “no” seems to be some kind of internal compulsion with her, which she then wrestles with and tries to overcome. My only fear is that in her life, her attempts to make good will come too soon. For one can certainly not expect to find such goodwill with all people as one can with one’s parents. We also have several great losses in our family to note: on February 16,

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

my mother passed on at the age of 85. For her death was a release, since she had suffered a lot of late and for more than a year her memory was so weakened that she didn’t even recognize her own children. Much more shattering was the sudden passing of Mama’s father, who again experienced his attacks on June 8 and fell to them. He was only 66 years old and could have lived longer. Of course Kitty still does not grasp the catastrophic nature of these events. It’s also probably better that way. She still has time before her to experience life’s painful sides. The matter was only meaningful to her in that it was the first time that she stayed alone in Bratislava under Judit’s supervision. She did so without causing any difficulties for her parents. The school year ended earlier this year, on June 22, on account of local celebrations. We will also be traveling to Čadca sooner—keeping in mind that Grandma is now so lonely. Kitty is already counting the days. I should also note how Kitty is reacting to the turbulent political

(top) 3rd grade of the “Štefánik” girls’ school with the teacher Horváth.

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[Uncaptioned].

circumstances these days. Above all else, she often asks questions to which one can’t give good answers. She figured it out on her own that nowadays it is not a good thing to be a Jew. Up until now she was, under her school’s influence, a Slovak. But now she realizes that aside from that, she’s a Jew. She took a great interest in the local elections and the various political parties, since she had read all of the election posters and has kept her ears open everywhere. She also said to me often enough: “Papa, you have to vote either for list 5 (Jewish) or 13 (United Czechoslovakia). When I was 8½, I had no idea about such things! Here is an exercise from the beginning of the 1938/39 school year that was praised.

What I did last summer. I was at Grandma’s in Čadca. When the weather was nice I went to the neighbors. We played soldiers who traveled to Bulgaria. The boat was an old bench. The best part was when the bench broke. We all fell down. We had a good time.24

August 26, 1939 The 1938–39 school year began normally after a beautiful and peacefully spent vacation. Then came the bad times whose end remains unforeseeable. Germany wanted the territories of Czechoslovakia occupied by Germans and threatened to go to war. Particularly in Pressburg, it got quite active, over the entire summer, since the Hlinka party joined with the minority groups that all wanted autonomy.25 One such party protested and then the pro-government parties staged a counter-protest. On May 21, 1938, the campaign against Czechoslovakia began with a

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

speech by Hitler in which he demanded the annexation of the Sudetenland to the Third Reich. Supported by France and England, Czechoslovakia implemented a partial mobilization. The tension kept escalating until September 21, when a general mobilization was ordered for everyone up to the age of 40. On Turo’s insistence, Kitty and Mama went back Čadca on September 13, since everything was quite tense in Pressburg. After the announcement of the mobilization I also went to Čadca. Once I got there, I found our people quite afraid, since in the meantime Poland also threatened Czechoslovakia, and if war broke out, then Čadca would be one of the most vulnerable points. There was already a strong military presence in Čadca and the first order of business for everyone was to get the children to safety. Hela with Bibi, Esti, Kitty and I went on Wednesday, September 28 to Ružomberok.26 I chose this location because in the direst of situations I too would have to reckon with being called up and my unit was stationed in Ružomberok. In the meantime, Germany presented an ultimatum to Czechoslovakia in one of Hitler’s speeches, according to which all areas where more than 50% of the inhabitants are German had to be ceded to Germany by October 1. England, France, Italy, and Germany met in Munich for a conference, in which it was resolved that Czechoslovakia had to comply. England played a particularly ugly role in the persons of Chamberlain and Lord Runciman.27 The surrender began on the deadline set by Hitler. Not only Germany, but also Poland and Hungary received parts of the Republic, in sum 1⁄3 of the entire area.28 On October 2 we returned to Pressburg. Kitty behaved quite reasonably during this time. She wasn’t difficult and complied without us having to ask. When we went to Rosenberg, we had to get up at 2:30 a.m. She froze and trembled out of anxiety, but she let herself be distracted and after she had drunk a warm coffee, she regained her senses. Bibi, however, cried throughout the entire trip. She doesn’t travel well and gets nauseous. On account of the crush in the train she was quite scared. Bibi’s state probably contributed a lot to Kitty behaving in such a courageous and upstanding way. In Ružomberok we lived in the “Myta” Hotel and Hela and Bibi with her sister-in-law. The children appeared to have gotten used to hotel life quite well. Alongside her usual habits Kitty also developed quite a good appetite. On the way back the excitement repeated itself anew. The crush was even greater. In Žilina we parted ways from Hela and went directly to Pressburg. We were on the same train as the wife and children of Karol

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Sidor.29 The political upheavals continue to this day. Most importantly, Poland received the train line between Čadca and Oderberg, and by October 10 Germany had occupied the region it had claimed for itself and even more. Engeran and Theben were separated from Slovakia for Germany’s benefit, the Čadca-Zwardoň strip and Javorina for Poland’s. On October 6 in Žilina, Slovakia was declared an autonomous region.30 Then the negotiations with Hungary began, which ended with an arbitration proceeding in Vienna, as a consequence of which one million inhabitants of Slovakia will be ceded to Hungary. At the same time Jew-baiting began here, primarily in places where Germans live: Pressburg, Bösing, and Tyrnau. On the basis of the German model, a so-called “Hlinka Guard” was organized, and Karol Sidor became its chief commander. The anti-Semitic tide has also permeated the schools. Kitty’s teacher had alerted me last October that Jewish children were being expelled from public schools. I had almost decided to have us all baptized but I just couldn’t go through with it. And so it happened that around the middle of February, Kitty and many other children were removed from the Štefanik school. Kitty came home sobbing despondently. She was then enrolled in the Neologist school, where she finished the school year.31 The whole school year was, properly speaking, not worth much, since as a consequence of the political cataclysms, the schools were often closed, particularly after March 14, when Slovakia was declared an independent state and Bohemia and Moravia connected themselves to Germany and became a “Protectorate.” In the independent state, the measures against Jews got ever harsher. Aside from the fact that the looting of Jewish businesses and insults in broad daylight were now the order of the day, Jews began to be forced from their jobs. I was among the first ones to lose his job. On March 30, all Jews at Philips were laid off. Then I tried to establish myself with Hudoba in Žilina, but I was only able to stay there for 2½ months. Kitty went with Mama to Čadca on June 15. We thus no longer had our own home. On August 1, I also came to Čadca.—Until the middle of the month life here was relatively peaceful, but then the dispute between Germany and Poland escalated significantly. The situation gets more and more serious by the day. The German military stares at the borders. Because we don’t know if Čadca will be evacuated or if everyone will flee in the event it comes under attack, we sent Kitty with Hela and Bibi to Mošovce. That happened on August 28. I accompanied them to Mošovce and they arrived without incident.32

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

January 27, 1941 Poland was attacked during the night of September 1, 1939, by Germany. We experienced nothing of it in Čadca. Not a shot could be heard. We simply saw the endless rows of marching soldiers, artillery, and other

[Uncaptioned].

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military formations as they passed by. Later, the transports of the wounded came in the opposite direction. Poland was finished off in 18 days. Germany occupied Poland all the way to Warsaw and made a “General Gouvernment” out of it. Russia took the rest for itself. England and France declared war on Germany, although initially neither country did anything. I heard reports of reconnaissance missions. English and French airplanes flew over Germany and even made it all the way to Vienna and Prague, but all they did was scatter fliers everywhere. The next victim was Finland, which was attacked by Russia.33 They defended themselves courageously for three whole months. Then they concluded a peace whereby Finland had to cede various regions to Russia but was able to maintain its sovereignty. In the spring of 1940 Denmark was occupied and Norway attacked. Here the English intervened more actively, but they could not prevent the occupation. Sweden remained untouched. The next in line were Holland and Belgium. Here, for the first time, paratroops and fighter planes were active. In only a few days both countries were overwhelmed and the attack began to focus on France. They defended themselves worse than Poland, in spite of the much-touted “Maginot Line.”

Kitty at her English language lesson with Madam Professor Winkler.

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

Particularly after Italy entered the war against France, the entire defense crumbled. After a few failed attempts by the Germans to land in England, the war in the west ground to a standstill. Only the lively activity of the planes remained. Both partners suffered considerable damage and that is still going on. Meanwhile Hungary annexed Carpathian Ruthenia, and then a conflict broke out between Romania and Russia that played out practically without bloodshed, although it cost Romania the loss of Bessarabia to Russia and the upper half of Siebenburgen (up to Klausenburg and Grosswardein) to Hungary.34 Finally, Greece was invaded by Italy.35 For the time being the Greeks hold the advantage. The Italians were immediately pushed back and the battle is playing itself out in Albania. Now the German military is massing on the Bulgarian border, apparently in order to attack Greece from the east. In North Africa there are fierce battles between English and Italian troops. The English are advancing along the whole front line. The Italians are also already losing ground in Abyssinia. After Kitty returned from Mošovce, normal life returned for her.36 She attends the Jewish school and is, according to the teacher Zoltán Heilbrunn, the most intelligent pupil. Yet precisely because she is so highly intellectually developed, she often comes into conflict with the adults. She can not grasp and thus does not understand why she has to put up with all of the adults’ moods while nothing is allowed her. In Artur and Iren she has particularly unpleasant housemates, since both force their moods on their surroundings but with no regard to how the surroundings are affected.37 Not only Kitty but indeed the entire house often suffers from their behavior. With Artur it has come to the point that he and I no longer speak to one another. He took on such a tone with me that in the interests of domestic peace, I moved to Bratislava. More on that later. After I lost my position with Hudoba, I helped out with the business by taking over all of Gabi’s administrative tasks and paperwork. I’ve always gotten along well with Gabi, but Artur acted like he was the boss, defiantly policing my work, particularly at the cash register. I let him have his way, since I was indeed dependent on him and Esti always begged me to be patient. She suffered the most under these circumstances. The following incident characterizes how tyrannically Artur behaved:

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We were sitting at breakfast, Artur, Kitty, and I. Artur was reading the newspaper and I was conversing with Kitty. Then he barked at us: “Shut up over there.” I responded that I won’t allow him to speak to Kitty in that way. To this he said: “If you don’t quiet down I’ll evict you both.” I was so enraged by such arrogance that I couldn’t answer. It is one of my weaknesses that in such situations, I simply become speechless. Similar episodes happened frequently with Iren, who once dragged me over the coals and reminded me that I’m not in my own home. I need not describe further my mental state under such circumstances. I had no money and had no one to turn to. I constantly had to control my feelings in order not to make the situation worse for Kitty and Esti. What disgusted me most was the way both of them constantly corrected my child when they were the ones who needed the proper upbringing. What’s more, Kitty contracted scarlet fever just before Easter 1940. Iren and Artur vehemently insisted that we take her to the infectious diseases hospital in Sillein. Kitty desperately protested against this. Weakened and feverish with the disease’s symptoms (severe vomiting from 5 o’clock until the next morning, accompanied by a strong headache), she asked, “Why don’t we have our own home, where people aren’t always bothering us?” We tried to calm her down and told her that she was as well off here as if she were in her own home, but she went on that she doesn’t have even the smallest space to herself here and that she is always being chased off from everywhere and she was never allowed to do things the way she wanted to. Even as a ten-year-old child she already saw the situation clearly, but unfortunately I must also say that she possesses the same disposition to develop in the same way as her Uncle and Aunt Iren. The only good soul in the house is Grandma. In her behavior and her entire attitude there is no trace that she is a widow. She sacrifices herself for her family in the strictest sense of the word, even though after the loss of her husband she no longer has something to give meaning to her daily life. She became the good spirit in the house and adjusts and smoothes things out where possible. She was also the one who made sure that Kitty could stay home. Grandma’s room was set up as an isolation ward for the sick girl and Esti confined herself with her for six weeks. Kalman took care of treatment for the child. The first two weeks passed smoothly. On the Saturday before Easter, Iren said at lunch that Dr. Alfred Reich from Prague had arrived. The discussion centered on how he might earn

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

a living. (I didn’t participate, because I had long since made it my habit not to participate in such “round table discussions.”) In her brusque way, Iren said: “He won’t let himself be a burden.” It was clear that I was the “burden.” I didn’t react; after I finished eating, I left the room and went into the office. I then realized that my work wasn’t viewed as work that merited compensation and I thought yet again about how I could get away from here and how I could get back on my own two feet. But I could not find a way out. Toward evening Artur came back into the office, checked the cash register again, and made a few entries into the ledger, at which point he mistakenly switched the columns and then had to cross out some entries. I reproached him, at which point he responded that this wasn’t my concern and insinuated that how long I might be “allowed” to work depended on his patience. I became furious and called him an ill-mannered lout. He didn’t answer and simply left the office. Perhaps it was better that way, because in my desperate rage it would otherwise have certainly come to blows. I remained alone in the dark office. After I had calmed down a bit, I realized that I could under no circumstance stay. To give myself more time to think, I left. Apparently no one noticed that I was away. It was raining outside, an icy rain before spring. I wandered around aimlessly in the streets and tried to figure out a plan. After two hours of wandering I went into Hela’s apartment, where I had lived in the dining room since Kitty got sick, without coming to any conclusions. I simply decided to go to Bratislava on the Tuesday after Easter. Where I would get money for the trip or where I would stay I did not know. Having arrived at the apartment—there was nobody home—I immediately went to bed. I pondered everything for a little while longer, but my brain was so exhausted from all of the excitement and tired from my long wandering that I fell asleep. The next day I told Gabi that I would no longer work and that I was considering going to Bratislava. He offered me some money, but I declined. I learned later that Artur had instructed him to do this and that he was happy that the money wasn’t accepted. It was a difficult decision to go to Esti. Since she had been in the isolation ward, we only spoke with each other through the window. Kitty was also far enough along that, sufficiently bundled up, she was able to come over to the closed window. At first Esti reproached me for not having shown my face in such a while. But then I had to tell her the reason why. She kept her composure in front of Kitty, but when she came out to me

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in the empty courtyard, desperation overwhelmed this sensitive soul. She tried to convince me to at least stay until the child was again healthy and back on her feet. As much as I would have liked to honor this wish, I had to explain to her that after what happened, I was no longer able to sit at the same table with Artur. I had to insist that the decision had already been made. When I was finished packing my things, I went up to the window of the isolation room for the last time. Esti gave me her last sums of money—I had to take it for her peace of mind—800 crowns. Josefin also gave me 100 crowns, “for good luck” as she put it. With a total of 958 crowns I left. I said goodbye to Grandma alone. I could only say goodbye to Esti and the child from afar. This situation depressed me a lot. I would have been able to leave happier if I had been able to give them both a heartfelt embrace. Both waved at me from the window. And so I began my saddest journey into a more than uncertain future. In Pressburg, I spent the first days at Irénke Kovács’s until I was able to rent a small room from Dr. Rudas. At Irénke’s I lived in a small kitchen on a trundle bed. But it was still bigger than Dr. Rudas’s little room. There was no room there at all to move around. There was a bed and a nightstand, and a low table with a little stool at the window. To open the door, one first had to slide the stool under the table. There I often felt like I was in a prison cell. But even such a cell must be roomier, because here one couldn’t even take a step. I spent my time seeking out all of my acquaintances. I followed up on every lead that was suggested or alluded to. At the beginning the wood business seemed to offer the most prospects. As soon as Belgium and Holland were occupied, however, all of these hopes evaporated. Nevertheless, this was where I earned my first money. But until I made it to that point, I lived for three and a half months under great hardship. The news from home was also unsettling. Esti was unable to adjust to all of the changes and shortly after I left Čadca, she had a severe fainting spell. Thereafter she became weaker and weaker. Kitty recovered well and wrote to me diligently. Her letters were always a bright moment for me. Esti and Grandma also contributed a lot so that I might better endure this time of need. Every other week they sent back my clean laundry and along with it I always found salami, cheese, baked goods, and preserves; small sums of money, too. For the most part I used this money to meet the costs of dinner. But it was often the case that I simply ate some soup at Vanek’s

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

or in the Luxor. When my need was great, Marci helped me out, even though he had no source of income, although he at least still had credit. Finally, at the end of June, I had some luck. The Ludwig Rosenfeld firm needed a traveling salesman. That was one of the companies that I had sought out and the owner knew that I was unemployed. He bought me a rail pass and gave me travel subsidies. I sold bicycles and spare parts. At the beginning it was difficult and since I was working on commission, I earned very little. But over time I worked my way in and earned enough to support myself and to pay off the remaining 400-crown monthly installments of my bank debt. But unfortunately I could not yet support my family. I received the rail pass on June 29, on a Saturday. I don’t know why it was that I considered going to Čadca immediately, right after I got

[Uncaptioned].

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the pass. But as soon as I had the pass in my hand, I noticed that it was only valid as of July 1. This realization was devastating and the two days in between that I had to spend in Pressburg were perhaps the blackest. When I finally made it back to Čadca, the first thing I had to hear was that Esti had again had a fainting spell. She thought that it was because of an upset stomach and for a few days only ate tea and zwieback. She thereby lost the last remnants of strength and had to be confined to bed. The doctor diagnosed anemia of the brain as a result of a heart defect.38 Now the fear and worries began anew. Kitty had only just recovered (she also had to deal with a small heart problem, a consequence of the scarlet fever) and then we had to concern ourselves with Mama. She got so weak that she couldn’t eat or sleep and even the few steps from the room to the garden were an enormous strain that she could only overcome after many interruptions. Almost the entire summer went by before good medical treatment and Grandma’s self-sacrificing ways got her back into shape. Grandma did indeed give a lot of herself, because just as soon as Mama had progressed enough that she could get around with difficulty and help out around the house, Grandma was confined to bed with apicitis.39 We were lucky that autumn was so beautiful and that she could lie down outside. In the meantime I was traveling around diligently and earned at least enough to make a living and pay off further my bank debt. I live in the Hotel “Reich” and also eat there when I am in Čadca. Kitty attends the fifth grade of the Jewish public school here. Her teacher, Zoltán Heilbrunn, is a nice young man whom the whole school idolizes. Kitty seems well liked at school. She’s one of the best students. I must also say that she is conscientious. She always does her homework first. And it is indeed true that homework is never difficult for her. Memorization not at all. And incidentally, I’ve never seen her grade-grub. When I ask her about such things, she always tells me that she already learned the poems and the things one is supposed to remember during the teacher’s lecture; she rereads material once or twice more if she has to express it in her own words but that’s all. So in this regard we’re not worried about her, especially because Jewish children can’t go beyond the eighth grade because of the new Jewish laws. Heilbrunn teaches the first five grades and Professor Winkler does the three highest ones. But Professor Winkler can only teach until year’s end because she is a middle school teacher and according to the law, these three classes may only be taught by one elementary school teacher. Besides this the school also has a Hebrew teacher. The children call

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

him by the Hebrew name “Hamoreh” (that is, “the teacher”). Every Sunday, Kitty passes on to me her newly acquired knowledge of the Hebrew language. But I have to say that as a student, I’m something of a slouch. I do the written exercises, but I never get around to memorizing the vocabulary words. As to Kitty’s other qualities, I must say that in many regards she is not developing in a desirable direction. I say to myself that one usually doesn’t find such qualities among clever children but that isn’t much consolation. She is flippant, a consequence of the fact that she doesn’t have any room to herself but rather is together with adults and hears everything that is said, which naturally awakes her curiosity or the desire to express her opinion. Were she in her own home, she could be excluded and broken of the habit of meddling in other’s business. The close quarters have also resulted in another bad habit. She is too often chastised by the adults, often for no reason. It is understandable that the adults, especially in these times, are anxious. Even we, her parents, often cannot muster the necessary patience and let our anxiety mislead us into injustices. If we still had our own home, all of this could be avoided. As it is, Kitty doesn’t even have a corner in the house where she can do what she wants. She reads a lot and enjoys it, but she constantly has to move because one of the adults needs the space for some reason or another. Is it any wonder then that she talks back? She answers snippily, and if there’s no flippancy in the words themselves, then it’s in her tone. On account of the constant reprimanding, scolding, and cursing, a defiant streak seems to be developing in her. We often observe how she moves her mouth without saying a word and curses to herself, since she can’t say it aloud. She is also moody. In the past we often went on walks together. That happens more rarely now, because indeed in these times, one tries to spend less time outside. But sometimes the opportunity does arise to go out for a walk. Yet if I make the offer, then she doesn’t want to go and has all possible excuses. Then, when I abandon the effort and undertake something else, suddenly she wants to go out. It is also possible that what we view as moodiness is simply her asserting her independence, which expresses itself in various forms among intellectually well-developed children. On March 1, 1941, it became forbidden for Jews to go outside after 8 p.m. The only tolerated exceptions are for travel to and from the train and other urgent trips, such as to go to the doctor or the pharmacy.—After daylight savings time started, the curfew was extended to 9 o’clock, and

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after May 1 it was pushed back another hour, to 10 o’clock, only to again be moved back to 9 o’clock on September 15. On June 22, 1941, war broke out against Russia, after Germany’s intervention ended the war in the Balkans.40 On the same day approximately 30 Jews were arrested and put in jail in Ilava. A second transport was carted off two weeks later. In total approximately 45, including five women. They were released at the end of September. On July 21, 1941, all Jewish men between the ages of 18 and 50 were mustered for labor duty. We were all able bodied, with only a very few exceptions, and began our work—without pay—the very next day in the river valley. Work begins at seven in the morning and lasts until four in the afternoon. At midday there is an hour break. At the start we brought along our own food, since the work site is a half hour from town. After a few days the Jewish council set up a kitchen for us and we received a hot lunch. Our work consists of excavating a new riverbed, and next to it a road is being built. We have two overseers: a “specialist” who leads the work, named Slaniák, and a Gardist named Poláček. The Central Jewish Organization supplied the tools: pickaxes, shovels and wheelbarrows.41— The first week was difficult. For one, we tired quickly because we were not used to the work, and aside from that, the terrain was swampy and thus difficult to work. By the second week things were getting better. We gained experience and were for the most part able to stay dry while working. In the fifth week, the Gardist broke both arms in a fall at home. In his place we received a new overseer named Procházka. In general the treatment was not so bad. Originally we numbered 41 men. Later many were enlisted to work for a firm in Žilina, where they worked for pay. Many were excluded on account of illnesses. By the end there were only 12 men left. On December 1, 1941, I received a work permit for the Rudolf Vaculík firm, Trnava, and was thereby freed from labor duty. Shortly before the Jewish holidays in the fall, a new codex of laws was promulgated that marked Jews: a yellow star (Magén David) 6 cm in size with a blue border.42 At the end of January we had to give up all of our furs. On March 1, 1942, we surrendered everything we own made of wool, including suits and coats. A Jew is only allowed to have three suits, as well as one coat for winter and one for summer. Moreover, no more than three sets of bed linens and poplin blankets per person. Kitty is developing into a young woman. All of the signs are there. Her

[Heart-shaped birthday card with similar text in Hebrew, Czech, and Slovak] Your daughter wishes you on your birthday Much happiness and success in your endeavors And may God grant that we shall return quickly to our land Where our forefathers resided Your Dear Daughter, Kitty 14. VIII 1941 in Čadca

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breasts are beginning to grow ever so slightly and she is also beginning to grow pubic hair. There are also some unpleasant matters, namely that hairs are also visible on her upper lip. She does not yet realize that for this reason people will insult her. Her glands are probably working overtime, since she sweats often and thereby has an odor. It is also becoming apparent that in her upbringing thus far, we made mistakes. We failed to develop her sense of modesty, and she doesn’t understand why she can’t undress in front of men, particularly in front of me. Until now she also had a lot of male friends and thus has no sense that with regard to them, a certain distance must be maintained. We also heard that she disrobes in front of boys her age without any inhibition. This was a signal for us to lead her in a different direction, since the time has now come in which she is becoming conscious of her sexual drives. She has been enlightened for a while now, since I have never lied to her by telling any fairy tales about the stork. She has known for a while that a child is brought to the world by its mother. She also knows about the development of an embryo and I explained to her the function of the uterus as well. Of course it can not be prevented that, outside of the home, a child will experience certain things too early. She often asks me questions which I feel are not yet appropriate for me to answer on account of her age. Once she came back from visiting a girl of the same age who had shown her a condom and also explained to her what its use is. I was not yet prepared to enlighten her about the matter, since I feared that she would not understand me, which might injure her psychically. I consider it likely that she already knows something about sexual intercourse, since girls surely talk about it amongst themselves. But I still cannot yet decide whether to talk to her about it. Perhaps I will do so when she begins to menstruate. She was just examined by a specialist who said that she can expect to start menstruating in two to three months. I will soon have to move for the fourth time since returning from Bratislava. As I already mentioned, I lived in the Hotel “Reich” at first. On April 1, I lost my job with Rosenfeld, since his brother had to liquidate his business and so he took him on as a traveling salesman instead of me. I immediately found a new position, although it was not as good as the first one. Since I could no longer pay for the hotel room, I moved into Gabi’s attic. But on November 15, 1941, Gabi was evicted from the apartment. Then I moved in at Josefin’s. I was better off there than with Gabi. Now I have to leave here, since this apartment also has to be vacated by April 1, 1942. Who knows where we will land!

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

I forgot to mention that Kitty’s great-grandmother turned 90 on December 25, 1940. For the occasion I wrote a poem, which I am reproducing below: Why is there so much joy in this house, The grandkids, great-grandkids—even the mouse? Great-Grandma celebrates a birthday this year— That’s the reason why so we cheer— Number 90 is this birthday fest Still healthy and spry—she’s the best. Bytča is where her relatives want to go From here, from there, where else, I don’t know. We think of Great-Grandma and we think about the place Where that sweet one lives, that tiny little space But in our stead Grandma we send To read these wishes that we penned. Dear God one thing’s more important than others Protect her health, our great-grandmother’s! May she live many years, this we pray Please fulfill this wish without delay. Our dear ancestor, to end we say Our flag still waves proudly this day It will soon end, this evil game, And our enemy will know but shame.43

Since then our poor great-grandmother has passed to the afterlife without us being able to send her our best wishes again. Shortly before her 91st birthday, after much suffering but completely sound of mind, she finally left this vale of tears. Since May 15 I have been living with Kalman—again in an attic room. It is very small, but I have the basics. We no longer have any great demands. Today we’re happy if we still have four walls and a roof above us. The persecution of Jews proceeds: the star that we had to wear up until now was not big enough, and so new ones were distributed, 10 cm in size and a garish yellow. That alone would be bearable, but deportation has begun. First all men between 16 and 45 were gathered up and interned in

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barracks in Žilina. Then they took all of those who were locked up in Ilava, then all of the people who were once doctors, and finally an arbitrarily composed list that even included those people who had work permits, those over 45 years old, and the disabled. Artur was among these, but he had a problem with his kidney and so he can stay home until he has recovered. In the meantime, all women between 16 and 35 were taken. Mainly girls and women without children. A few transports have already departed. Many different versions are circulating about the deportation site. One thing is sure, that all of the transports have crossed the border in the direction of Poland. The official word is that all of the conscripted men and women are leaving as pioneers to prepare for the resettlement of the entire Jewish population of Slovakia. All Jews who leave Slovakia lose their citizenship.

A picture taken during Grandma’s birthday on March 5, 1942.

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942

In that I have a work permit and will turn 50 this year, I anticipate that I will not yet be affected. But in that people are often taken randomly, I have to be continuously alert. Even Irenka has already packed everything, even though she did not go with the first transport. I have only one wish: that we can go together with Kitty and Mama. Esti is weak and afraid. She can’t take care of herself. For her age, Kitty is strong enough that she could go, but one would prefer to stay by the side of one’s child in such a difficult situation.

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Afterword

Béla Weichherz’s notebooks end here. There are no known additional texts in his pen. In his final entries, he alludes to the darkest chapter of the history of Jews in Slovakia, even as circumstances gave him no opportunity to document explicitly what happened to his family after the spring of 1942. The diary contains nothing about the Weichherzes’ arrest, their internment, the transport on which they were deported, or otherwise how they died. Nevertheless, archival materials from Slovakia, Israel, and the United States, cross-referenced with information from the diary and existing scholarship, allow us to reconstruct some of the details of the Weichherzes’ final days. The last photograph of Kitty, taken at her grandmother’s birthday party, is captioned March 5, 1942. The final date that Béla mentions explicitly is March 15, 1942. The diary concludes with his final desperate plea, probably written in late May or early June 1942: “I have only one wish: that we [Béla and Esti] can go together with Kitty and Mama [Esti’s mother]. Esti is weak and afraid. She can’t take care of herself. For her age, Kitty is strong enough that she could go, but one would prefer to stay by the side of one’s child in such a difficult situation.” Here Béla alludes to the mass deportations of Slovak Jews that began in the early spring of 1942. On March 25, 1942, the Ministry for Internal Affairs submitted the draft of a law that provided the legal basis for deportation. But even before parliament could take up the measure, which allowed the Slovak government to expel or deport its Jews and strip them of citizenship, deportations had already begun.1 By June 26, 1942, more than 53,000 of Slovakia’s Jewish population of 89,000 had been deported. In August 1942, any Jews who had until then escaped deportation by virtue of having “letters of protection” as economically necessary workers lost such exemptions. The final official transport of Slovak Jews left Slovakia

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on October 20, 1942.2 On Christmas Day 1942, Anton Vašek, a Gardist official, proudly boasted in the introduction to his book The Solution of the Jewish Question in Slovakia that “it is generally known, that through the measures of the Slovak Republic, 4⁄5 of Slovak Jews have been deported.”3 Vašek omitted the fact that the overwhelming majority of those he later described as “resettled” were in fact exterminated. Béla, Kitty, and Esti Weichherz appear to have been deported in the late spring of 1942. Although Béla’s final entries span long periods, their details allow us to see that the diary’s end corresponds to the exact historical juncture at which deportations intensified. During April, May, and early June of 1942, Jews in Slovakia were rounded up and concentrated in transit camps so that they might be included among the transports departing almost daily for the east.4 Upon leaving Slovak territory, Jews lost their citizenship. Many deportees, including Kitty Weichherz and her parents, passed through the transit camp in Žilina, not far from Čadca. According to the Slovak Ministry of Interior’s deportation lists, a transport carrying 1,001 Jews, including “Vojtech Veichherz,” “Estera Veichherz,” and “Katarina Veichherz” of Turzovka (Béla’s birthplace), departed from the concentration camp at Žilina, Slovakia, on June 6, 1942.5 This transport’s destination was the death camp at Sobibór by way of the Majdanek camp in Lublin. Sobibór functioned almost exclusively as a killing camp, not a prison, meaning that the Weichherzes were most likely gassed upon arrival in the second week of June 1942. . . . Today the surviving remnants of the once extensive Weichherz family live scattered around the world, in the United States, Sweden, Australia, and Germany. Although family members do not know how or where Béla’s journal survived the war, the two composition notebooks came into the possession of Béla’s sister and Kitty’s aunt, Malvine Pollak (née Weichherz), who continued to live in Slovakia after the war ended and Czechoslovakia was reconstituted. The notebooks became a precious family heirloom that she bequeathed to her daughter, Gertruda, who in turn passed them on to her own daughter, Judith Landshut. Anti-Semitism in the Communist bloc, particularly after the Arab-Israeli conflicts of the late 1960s and early 1970s, convinced Mrs. Landshut to leave Slovakia for Germany. Since that time, the diary has been trans-

Afterword

formed from a private family album into a public memoir. Mrs. Landshut reports having read sections to student groups in Hamburg, where she currently lives. Meanwhile, Günther Schwarberg, a German journalist based in Hamburg who has worked extensively with Holocaust-related themes, used the diary as the basis for a radio play aired on WDR (West German Radio). His play juxtaposes passages from the notebooks with voices that recount key events in the history of Germany and Slovakia during the Holocaust. Although its efforts at Holocaust education are admirable, the play excises many passages that do not support a straightforward narrative or reflect positively on Kitty. In 2004, Judith Landshut donated Béla’s notebooks to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C. They reside there today, a valuable yet deeply tragic record of interwar Jewish life and wartime Jewish death in Central Europe.

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Notes

An Introduction to In Her Father’s Eyes 1. Danilo Kiš, The Encyclopedia of the Dead, trans. Michael Henry Heim (New York: Farrar, Straus, and Giroux, 1989), 44. 2. Götz Aly, Im Tunnel: Das kurze Leben der Marion Samuel, 1931–1943 (Frankfurt am Main: Fischer, 2004). 3. Doris B. Wallace, Margery B. Franklin, and Robert T. Keegan, “The Observing Eye: A Century of Baby Diaries,” Human Development 37 (1994):1–29. 4. Ibid., 2–3. 5. Ibid., 3. 6. Charles Darwin, Mind: Quarterly Review of Psychology and Philosophy 2 (1877): 285– 94. 7. Wilhelm Preyer, Die Seele des Kindes (Leipzig: Greiben, 1882). 8. Wallace et al., “The Observing Eye,” 15. 9. Rima D. Apple, Mothers and Medicine: A Social History of Infant Feeding, 1890–1950 (Madison: University of Wisconsin Press, 1987), 97–100. 10. Ibid., 119; and Benjamin Spock, The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care (New York: Duell, Sloan, and Pearce, 1945, 1946). 11. Jessie Chase Fenton, A Practical Psychology of Babyhood: The Mental Development and Mental Hygiene of the First Two Years of Life (Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1925), 315–42. 12. Michael André Bernstein, Foregone Conclusions: Against Apocalyptic History (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1994), 1–8. 13. Michael J. Kopanic, Jr., “The Legacy: The Tiso Plaque Controversy,” Central European Review 2, no. 11 (2000), online edition. 14. Ezra Mendelsohn, The Jews of East Central Europe between the World Wars (Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1983), 140–41. 15. Livia Rothkirchen, “Slovakia: I., 1848–1918,” in The Jews of Czechoslovakia: Historical Studies and Surveys (Philadelphia: Jewish Publication Society of America and the Society for the History of Czechoslovak Jews, 1968), 1:72–80. 16. For a full list of these measures, see Anton Vašek, Die Lösung der Judenfrage in der Slowakei (Bratislava-Pressburg: Globus Verlag, 1942). 17. The Central Database of Shoah Victims’ Names (http://www.yadvashem.org/).

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Notes to Pages 14–45 18. Martha Langford, Suspended Conversations: The Afterlife of Memory in the Photographic Album (Montreal: McGill/Queens University Press, 2001). 19. Marianne Hirsch, Family Frames: Photography, Narrative, and Postmemory (Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1997), 5. 20. Naomi Seidman, Faithful Renderings: Jewish-Christian Difference and the Politics of Translation (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2006), 199-201. 21. See Martha A. Ravits, “Anne Frank,” in Holocaust Literature: An Encyclopedia of Writers and Their Work, ed. Lilian Kremer (New York: Routledge, 2003), 375. 22. David G. Roskies, Against the Apocalypse: Responses to Catastrophe in Modern Jewish Culture (Syracuse: Syracuse University Press, 1999), 263. 23. Edward Linenthal, Preserving Memory: The Struggle to Create America’s Holocaust Museum, 2d ed. (New York: Columbia University Press, 2001), 217. 24. The Diary of Anne Frank: The Revised Critical Edition, ed. David Barnouw and Gerrold van der Stroom (New York: Doubleday, 2003). See in particular van der Stroom’s introductory chapter, “The Diaries, Het Achterhuis and the Translations,” pp. 59–77. 25. See Alon Confino, “Telling about Germany: Narratives of Memory and Culture,” Journal of Modern History 76 (June 2004): 389–416. 26. Victor Klemperer, Ich will Zeugnis ablegen bis zum letzten: Tagebücher 1933–1941 (Berlin: Aufbau, 1995).

Notebook 1: March 1929–May 1933 1. Béla Weichherz sometimes refers to his wife, Esti, in a detached tone, rendered here as “the mother.” Elsewhere, he refers to her more intimately as “Mother” or “Mama.” 2. Marci Weichherz was Béla’s older brother. Rudica was Marci’s wife. 3. Béla sarcastically refers to the doctor with a diminutive, Onkel Doktor (“the nice doctor”). 4. At the time of Kitty’s birth, it was common obstetric practice to withhold food and liquids from newborns for up to seventy-two hours. Doctors believed that infants were edematous (overhydrated) and at risk of aspiration (inhaling liquids into the lungs), hence Béla’s statement that Kitty first had to digest what she “brought along from her mother’s body.” See Alex F. Robertson, M.D., “Reflections on Errors in Neonatology: I. The ‘Hands-Off ’ Years, 1920–1950,” Journal of Perinatology 23 (2003): 48–55. 5. Many European countries had (and still have) laws that dictate the appropriateness of names for children. 6. Enteritis is an inflammation of the intestinal tract, especially of the small intestine. 7. Kritimol, Borcreme, and Dermatol were the brand names of salves and skin medicines. 8. Irene appears to have been Esti Weichherz’s sister. Kitty’s maternal relatives lived in Čadca, a town in northern Slovakia near the Polish border. 9. Boric acid is used as an antiseptic.

Notes to Pages 47–64 10. Esti recorded the entries from the twenty-third week (May 4–10, 1930) to the fiftieth week (November 16–23), presumably because her husband’s job as traveling salesmen kept him from recording Kitty’s development on a regular basis. 11. Pressburg is the German name for Bratislava. The “chaos of the last week” presumably refers to their preparation for the summer in Čadca. 12. Kalman, a doctor, and his wife, Lilly, were family friends from Čadca. 13. Tomy and Ivan are presumably other children in Čadca, possibly Kalman and Lilly’s children. 14. Béla was away on business. 15. Esti writes čapušky, the Slovak word for “clap.” 16. Béla added in the margins: “The crying started when father’s watch fell on her nose. Among the passengers was a lady who had sympathy for us. She helped calm the child and played with her as well. When we [got home] the crying started up again, because everything was unfamiliar to the baby. Mother had to do some errands and the baby howled continuously for her. Her crying out of ‘Njanja-Njanja’ only stopped when Mother finally came and took her by the arm.” 17. The “English disease” is rickets, a bone condition that typically afflicts infants and children who lack vitamin D, calcium, and adequate exposure to sunlight. The epithet arose during the Industrial Revolution because the thick smog and subsequent lack of sunlight in northern British industrial cities resulted in an epidemic of rickets. 18. To Esti’s handwriting, Béla added in the margin above “nämlich zum Kaufmann” (“namely, to the salesman”), presumably meaning that the scale was traded in at a store. 19. From this point on, all entries are in Béla’s handwriting. 20. Because of its high vitamin D content, cod liver oil is prescribed to promote bone growth. Vigantol was the brand name of a supplement used to treat rickets. 21. The popular song “Adieu, mein kleiner Gardeoffizier, adieu” (“Farewell, My Little Grenadier”) was written by Austrian conductor, composer, and songwriter Robert Stolz (1880–1975). It featured in the 1931 film musical Die Lustigen Weiber von Wien (The Merry Wives of Vienna) directed by Géza von Bolváry. 22. Light from special quartz ray bulbs is used to treat skin disorders. 23. Kitty’s word paciujuj is the German spazieren (“to go for a walk”) as said in baby talk. 24. “Manta” and “Ingange” are Kitty’s baby-talk versions of the names Magda and Hanka. 25. Béla wrote down three fragments of well-known children’s verses, one each in Slovak, German, and Hungarian, as Kitty pronounced them in baby talk: Slovak: Cap cap capusky, osji babi na jušky / Popedaji do bata, pide vete pokyta. (Clappity clappity clap, the old women went for some pears / They fell into the mud, the tinker came to fix them.) German: Jinge jinge Jose, Kise apikose / Veiche un vagistermeine / ale Kinde boige sich. (Ring around the rosie, beautiful apricots / Violet and Forget-me-not / All the children sit down.)

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Notes to Pages 65–72 Hungarian: Cip, cip csoka vak vajuta— / Szekejemet—sss—vajuta. (Cheep, cheep jackdaw, little blind crow / [My godmother asks for her] cart / [I cannot give it to her, the hens are sitting on it] / Shoo, shoo little crow.) 26. Aunt Hela is presumably Helena Goldstein. Along with her husband Gabriel Goldstein and daughter Marion Goldstein, Helena was, like the Weichherzes, probably deported to the Sobibór death camp. Béla includes a photograph of the toddler Marion in his entry for January 6, 1936. 27. Béla describes davenen, recitation of prayer in Jewish liturgy accompanied by bowing or swaying motions. “Bu-an-bu” is probably Kitty’s attempt in baby talk to say the Hebrew word barukh (“blessed”), the first word of a prayer. 28. El Dorado is the legendary South American city of gold. 29. Béla again uses a diminutive to describe the doctor. 30. In this passage and several that follow, I have translated Kitty’s baby talk and her inability to pronounce certain sounds into an English intended to reveal both its inaccuracy and, more significantly, the endearing qualities that spurred Béla to write about it. 31. Bratislava is on the banks of the Danube. 32. Béla has again transcribed Kitty’s child German in a way that captures its cuteness. The original reads: “Papa, Kitty son zujikkommen.”—Wenn die Glocke leutet, fragt sie, “Wer kommt da, Judica?” “Judica” is the name of Kitty’s Aunt Rudica as a small child might say it. 33. Wilhelm Busch’s 1865 illustrated book Max und Moritz: Eine Bubengeschichte in sieben Streichen (Max and Moritz: A Story of Seven Boyish Pranks) is a classic German children’s verse story about two boys and their mischievous exploits. 34. The text Béla has recorded is not, however, from Max and Moritz. In her childish speech, Kitty recites it as “Jade man si Gäste ein / muss dewite man sie fein / Schokojade gute Kuchen / daf de keine Aff versuch.” [If one invites guests into one’s home / One must treat them well / The little monkey can try / Chocolate and tasty cake]. 35. With the second song, Kitty makes up lyrics based on a popular Hungarian nursery rhyme: “Boci boci tarka, / Se füle se farka, / Oda megyünk lakni, / Ahol tejet kapni.” [Little colorful calf / She has neither ears nor tail / We are going to live at the place / Where milk is available.] 36. “Das Geständnis wurde als Milderungsgrund angenommen und der Deliquent freigesprochen.” Béla intentionally uses overly legalistic language here. 37. See note 30. Translations such as “wegabul” (vegetables) or “Mo!” (more) approximate what Béla writes in German. In these cases, he transcribes Kitty’s endearing pronunciation and, in parentheses, writes the proper German, for instance: “‘Fuj mise’ (Gemüse)” and “‘nok’ (noch).” 38. The original contains an untranslatable pun, underlined in the original. Instead of saying “Kitty hat erbrochen” (Kitty threw up), Kitty says “Kitty hat zerbrochen” (Kitty broke into pieces). 39. Kitty refers to the folksong “Fuchs du hast den Gans gestohlen” (“Fox, you stole the goose”).

Notes to Pages 74–118 40. Béla deduces that Kitty thought a policeman would punish her because she uses the Hungarian rendőr bácsi (“uncle policeman” or “the nice policeman”), which she would have learned from the Weichherzes’ Hungarian maid during walks. 41. It is unclear who Tommy Holzmann was—possibly a boy in Čadca whom Kitty disliked. 42. Kitty used the made-up word druki, but the Slovak driver thought she said ruky, Slovak for “hands.” 43. Jansci and Juliska are the Hungarian names for the fairy-tale characters Hansel and Gretel. 44. Lime water is a saturated calcium hydroxide solution. It is used as an antacid and in skin medicines. 45. Kalodont is a brand name of toothpaste. 46. By “Easter holidays” Béla clearly means both Easter and Passover. Lici wants to eat a roll, a form of leavened bread, even though observant Jews only eat unleavened bread during Passover. 47. The Hagada is a text used during Passover that recounts the biblical story of Exodus and the specific rituals and prayers used in its retelling. 48. Béla uses the word Batzenhäuserl, a uniquely Austrian kind of bistro.

Notebook 2: June 1933–June 1942 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14.

15. 16.

Tonka appears to have been a Slovak woman who worked as a servant. Sleeping in a plaster bed immobilizes and straightens the spine. These may be nicknames that Béla and Esti used for one another. Mariška may be the name of a servant or a childhood friend. Angina here means a severe sore throat, not the heart condition angina pectoris. Regarding the quartz rays, see the entry for February 21, 1931. Lake Balaton, located in western Hungary, is the largest lake in Central Europe and a popular tourist destination. Sillein is the German name for Žilina, a city in northwestern Slovakia. Illanka, or, as Béla sometimes spells it, Ilanka, is the name of a woman who worked at Kitty’s day care. Mačko (Slovak for “kitten” or “kitty”) is probably the name of a pet or a stuffed animal. See the entry for April 4, 1931. Grandma Leinsdörfer was a neighbor; here, “Grandma” is used as a term of endearment, not relationship. See the entry for October 1, 1934. Aluminum acetate (essigsauere Tonerde) is a salve used on cuts and abrasions. Again, Béla uses the term Batzenhäuserl. See the entry for May 15, 1933. Béla uses the technical phrase Rückgang der Drüsengeschwülste, or “remission of the adenomas.” Adenomas are benign polyps, and “remission” means simply that the swelling went down. Biomalz was the brand name of a popular dietary supplement made from malt. The original German reads: “Müde bin ich, geh’ zur Ruh.’ / Schliesse meine

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Notes to Pages 120–145 Äuglein zu. / Vater lass’ die Äuglein dein / Über meinem Bette sein. / Hab’ ich heute unrecht ‘tan, / Sieh’ es lieber Gott nicht an. / Alle Menschen, gross und klein, / Sollen Dir empfohlen sein. Amen.” 17. Cod-liver oil is a source of vitamins A and D and is used to treat conditions related to insufficient calcium, such as bone problems. 18. The original German reads: “Onkel Marci schrieb in Reimen / Tat es auch gleich für die Seinen / Rudica, die gute Tante / Es für wichtige erkannte, / Für die Wärme vorzusorgen. / Denn der Winter kommt schon morgen. // Fürs Gemüt bekam ich Verse— / Und Strümpfe für meine Ferse. / Täglich freu ich mich—auch heute, / Drum habet Dank, ihr lieben Leute. // Bevor die Seite voll ist, / Grüsse ich mich Dénes, Boris. / Der Papa versuchte es bei uns / Aufzunehmen mit der Kunst; / Die Hand führte mir Mutti: / Vielmals grüsst euch Kitty.” 19. A laterna magica, or “magic lantern,” is a means of projecting an image and was the precursor of the modern slide projector. 20. Tomáš Garrigue Masaryk (1850–1937) became Czechoslovakia’s first president in 1918, having established himself as an influential campaigner for Czech independence. Eventually elected to three consecutive terms, he resigned on December 12, 1935, at the age of eighty-five and died less than two years later on September 14, 1937. 21. Fasching is the name for Carnival or Mardi Gras in Bavaria, Austria, and other Catholic areas of Central Europe. A dirndl is a traditional peasant dress in the same region. Béla wrote the phrase “five o’clock tea” in English. 22. Esti pronounces schrecklich (“horrible”) as sekkich. 23. Fallada the talking horse is a character in “Die Gänsemagd” (“The Goose Girl”), a folk tale collected by the Brothers Grimm. 24. The original Slovak reads: “Čo som robila v lete. / Bola som u babičky v Čadci. Kedˇ bolo pekni počasie chodila som (ja) k súsedom. Hrali sme samojakov, ktorý ceslujú do Bulharska. Lodˇ bola stará lavita. Pri najlepšej hra sa zlomila. Všetci sme spadli. Mala som sa dobre.” 25. The Slovak People’s party (Slovenská ľudová strana) was a right-wing Slovak nationalist party with strong Catholic leanings. After the death of party chairman Andrej Hlinka (born 1864) on August 16, 1938, the party renamed itself Hlinka’s Slovak People’s party (Hlinka Slovenská ľudová strana). The Hlinka party supported an independent Slovak state; and under its new leader, the priest Jozef Tiso (1887–1947), anti-Semitic measures intensified in Slovakia. 26. Ružomberok is a town in northern Slovakia on the river Váh. In German it is called Rosenberg. 27. Walter Runciman (1870–1949) was the British envoy whom Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain sent to the Munich Conference. As a result of the meeting, the ethnic German regions of Czechoslovakia known as the Sudetenland were ceded to Hitler’s Germany. 28. In what became known as the First Vienna Award, Germany and Italy compelled Czechoslovakia to cede roughly a third of Slovakia to Hungary on November 2, 1938. Poland received the disputed Cieszyn border region. Béla describes the specifics of these annexations later in the diary.

Notes to Pages 146–156 29. Karol Sidor (1901–53) was the founder of the Hlinka Guard, the paramilitary wing of the Hlinka party. Modeled on the German SS, the Hlinka Guard officially came into existence a week after the Munich Conference. It played a leading role in antiSemitic activities in wartime Slovakia, particularly in deportations. 30. In the Žilina Manifesto of October 6, 1938, the Hlinka party and other supporting parties declared Slovakia’s autonomy from the remnants of the Czechoslovak state. As Béla mentions later, Slovakia became an independent nation on March 14, 1939, at which time the Czech regions of Bohemia and Moravia became a German protectorate. 31. Neologism was the unofficial name for Reform Judaism in Hungary and Slovakia. During World War II, the Neologist community was active in charitable and educational endeavors. 32. Mošovce is a village in the mountainous Turiec region in north-central Slovakia. Unlike Čadca, it is neither on the border nor a large town and, as such, offered relative safety. 33. Here Béla describes the Winter War of 1939–40. The Soviet Union attacked Finland on November 30, 1939. Although the USSR had expected to overrun Finland quickly, spirited Finnish resistance forced it to conclude a peace treaty in which Finland ceded roughly a tenth of its territory. 34. Béla compresses several months and distinct events into this sentence. On March 15, 1939, the small Central European region of Carpathian Ruthenia, today part of Ukraine, declared independence after the dismemberment of Czechoslovakia, to which it had previously belonged. Hungary immediately attacked and annexed the region. The dispute between Romania and Russia refers to the Soviet Union’s ultimatum to Romania on July 26, 1940: to evacuate and cede Bessarabia and part of Bukovina (Siebenburgen), which Romania did. A week later, the region became the Moldovian Soviet Socialist Republic. Klausenberg and Grosswardein are the German names for the Romanian cities of Cluj and Oradea. 35. On October 28, 1940, Italy attacked Greece. Greece waged a successful defense; and after massing in Bulgaria, an Axis nation, German troops intervened on Italy’s behalf on April 6, 1941. By June 1, Axis forces controlled Albania, Yugoslavia, and Greece. 36. Anti-Semitic persecution forced the Weichherzes to move in with Esti’s relatives in Čadca. 37. Artur, Iren, and Gabi appear to have been Esti Weichherz’s relatives. 38. The original German term is Gehirnanämie. 39. The original German term is Lungenspitzenkatarrh. Apicitis is an inflammation of the apex of the lung. 40. See note 35. 41. The Slovak government established a Central Jewish Organization, the Ústredná Židov (UŽ), to administer Jewish economic, social, cultural, and religious life. 42. On September 9, 1941, the Slovak parliament ratified the Jewish codex. Its 270 paragraphs defined Jews as a racial group and stripped them of civil liberties and social and economic rights.

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Notes to Pages 159–164 43. The original German reads: “Warum freut sich heut das ganze Haus: / Urenkel, Enkel und auch die Maus? / Urgrossmütterchen feiert heuer— / Unsre Freude ist ungeheuer— / ihr neunzigstes Geburtstagsfeste: / gesund und rüstig dabei, die Beste. // Nach Bytča kommen möchten gerne / alle Verwandte aus der Ferne. / Doch denken wir dran, dass klein das Heim, / wo wohnt unser Urgrossmütterlein. / Drum müssen wir Omama senden, / für uns die Glückwünsche spenden. // Vor allem erhalte, lieber Gott, / Uhrahnens Gesundheit ohne Not! / Viel Jahre lebe sie noch in Glück; / erfüll’ ihre Wünsche ohne Lück’ // Zum Schluss wir sagen: liebe Ahne, / nicht lassen wir sinken die Fahne! / Die böse Zeit wird verinnen / und dem Feind grosser Schande bringen.”

Afterword 1. Ladislav Lipscher, “The Jews of Slovakia: 1939–1945,” in The Jews of Czechoslovakia: Historical Studies and Surveys, ed. Avigdor Dagan et al. (Philadelphia: Jewish Publication Society of America and the Society for the History of Czechoslovak Jews, 1984), 3:198–99. 2. Ibid., 3:200. 3. Vašek, Die Lösung der Judenfrage in der Slowakei, 18. 4. Janina Kiełbon, Migracje ludności w dystrykcie lubelskim w latach 1939–1944 (Lublin: Państwowe Muzeum na Majdanku, 1995), 143. 5. The Central Database of Shoah Victims’ Names (http://www.yadvashem.org) includes information from the Ustredni Archív Slovenskiej Republiky v Bratislave, Ministersterstvo vnútra SR (1938–45), Kartotéka Židov na Slovensku.

Index

Page numbers in italics refer to illustrations. affectionate nature, 71, 86, 107, 110 Albania, 149 Aly, Götz, 5 angina, 108, 141 anti-Semitism: blood libel accusations, 11–12; in Communist bloc, 164; Hilsner trial, 12; and Jewish identity, 4; of Slovak nationalists, 10–12, 13, 146 apartment moving, 118, 130, 140 Apple, Rima, 7 arithmetic, 124, 129, 138, 142 Aryanization legislation, 13–14 Auschwitz, 5 babbling noise, 35, 40, 44, 49 baby diaries: domestic, 6; educational, 7–8; scientific, 6-7. See also Weichherz baby diary backshadowing, 9 banality of everyday, 19 bathing behavior, 28, 35, 36, 64 bed wetting, 68, 105 Belgium, occupation of, 148, 152 Bernstein, Michael André, 9 Bessarabia, 149, 173n34 Biomalz, 117, 119–120 birth, 27–29 birthday greetings, 20–21, 157, 159 birthdays, 57, 69, 83, 108, 121, 138 biting behavior, 65, 68, 85

blood libel accusations, 11–12 Bohemia, 11, 12, 146 Borcreme, 31 Bösing, 146 bowel movements, 47, 48, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54 Brandl, Karl, 27, 30, 56, 93, 123 Bratislava (Pressburg), 4; apartments in, 118, 130, 140; schools in, 13, 138, 140– 141, 143, 146; in wartime, 14, 144–145, 146, 152–154 Bratislava “zoo,” 75–76 breastfeeding, 29, 33, 37, 39, 41; additional foods, 42–43, 44, 45–46, 47; aversion to nursing, 33–34, 35, 38; distractibility, 44; milk intake charts, 7, 30, 31, 33, 34–35, 36–37, 38, 39–40, 41, 42–43, 44, 45, 94; schedule, 45–46; weaning, 49; wet nurse, 49 bronchitis, 108 Bukovina, 173n34 Bulgaria, 149 Busch, Wilhelm, 20, 170n33 Čadca: death of grandfather, 143; family conflict with Béla Weichherz, 149– 152; maternal family in, 168n8; military presence in, 145; refuge with family in, 14, 145, 149–152; vacations in, 13, 16, 47–53, 58, 60, 64–67, 77, 78, 79, 80, 80, 81, 101–105, 114, 115–

176

Index Čadca (continued) 116, 125, 125, 126, 127, 133, 139–140, 144 canker sore, 86–87 card playing, 142 Carpathian Ruthenia, annexation of, 149, 173n34 castor oil, 123 Central Jewish Organization, 156, 173n41 Chamberlain, Neville, 145, 172n27 chicken pox, 30, 31, 34, 35, 39 cinema visits, 107, 120, 131, 139 cleanliness, sense of, 86 cod-liver oil, 58, 120, 123, 172n17 Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care, The (Spock), 7 Confino, Alon, 19 Constitutional Compromise of 1867, 11 corporeality, taboo on, 18–19 crying, in infancy, 30 curfew, Jewish, 155–156 Czech language, 141 Czechoslovakia: dissolution of, 12–13, 145–146; elections of 1938, 10, 144; occupation of Sudetenland, 13, 144–145, 172n27; resignation of Masaryk, 12 Darwin, Charles, 6–7 Darwin, William Erasmus, 6 day care center, 107, 119, 132; Fasching festivities at, 131; friendship with Peter Koritschau, 126–128; Mothers’ Day performances at, 113, 128, 132– 133, 134 Denmark, 148 deportations of Slovak Jews, 4, 10, 14, 159–161, 163–164 Diary of Anne Frank, The, 17, 18 diet. See eating habits disobedient behavior: apology for, 99; biting, 68, 85; confession of, 69; contradictory/defiant streak, 140, 142, 155; and guilt, 84; “phooey,” 68, 72; in school, 138; smart-alecky, 110, 129,

142; stubbornness, 83–84, 100, 101, 110, 117; talking back, 80, 99, 101, 102, 105, 110, 113, 155; whining, 100, 104–105, 112–113. See also punishment; spanking domestic baby diaries, 6 drawings, 135, 136, 137 Dreyfus affair, 12 eating habits: appetite, 58, 59, 73, 88; appetite loss, 54, 56, 71, 117, 120; breakfast, 63; change in dietary regimen, 57; chewing foods, 68; fasting regimen, 105; formula, 48; likes and dislikes, 48, 50, 56, 71; and nervous anxiety, 131, 132, 135; schedule of meals, 49, 63 educational baby diaries, 7–8 “Encyclopedia of the Dead” (Kiš), 3, 21 Engeran, 146 English lessons, 148 enteritis, 50–51 Fábry, Ilonka, 45 fairy tales, 82, 139 Faithful Renderings: Jewish-Christian Difference and the Politics of Translation (Seidman), 17 family life, photographic representation of, 15–16 fantasy play, 109 Fasching festivities, 131, 172n21 fasting cure, 51, 105 fear of darkness, 74–75 feeding. See breastfeeding; eating habits Fenton, Jessie Chase, 7–8 Finland, 148, 173n33 First Vienna Award, 172n28 flu, 73, 86 Frank, Anne, 16–17, 18, 20 Frank, Otto, 18 Franklin, Margery B., 6 Freiberg, Dr., 57, 58 Friedrichspark, 75

Index German language, 71, 83, 85, 104, 141 German Remembrance Foundation, 5 Germany: Bohemia and Moravia as Protectorate of, 146; occupation of Poland, 9, 147–148; occupation of Sudetenland, 13, 144–145, 172n27 Goldstein, Gabriel, 170n26 Goldstein, Helena, 170n26 Goldstein, Marion Dorith, 125, 170n26 grasping behavior, 37, 42, 51 Greece, 149, 173n35 Grössling Street apartment, 140 gymnastics, 106, 141 Haaz, Dr., 77, 80 Hagada, 91 hair growth, 36 Hapsburg Empire: anti-Semitism in, 10–12; status of Jews in, 11 health. See illnesses Hebrew language, 21, 154–155 Heilbrunn, Zoltán, 149 Hejduk Street apartment, 130 Hilberg, Raul, 18 Hilsner, Leopold, 12 Hirsch, Marianne, 15 Hitler, Adolf, 145 hives, 58 Hlinka, Andrej, 13, 172n25 Hlinka Guard, 13, 146, 173n29 Hlinka’s Slovak People’s Party, 13, 144, 172n25, 173n30 Holland, occupation of, 148, 152 Holocaust: backshadowing effect of, 9, 10; reconstruction of lives, 5, 21; Slovak complicity in, 10, 13 Holocaust memoirs: adapted for gentile audience, 17–18; banality of everyday, 19; individual and collective memory in, 18–20; mediation of translators and editors in, 16; taboo on corporeality, 18–19 Holzmann, Tommy, 80 Hrůzova, Anežká, 12

Hudoba, 146, 149 Hungarian language, 64, 71, 83, 91, 118, 141, 170n40 Hungary: annexation of Carpathian Ruthenia, 149, 173n34; anti-Semitism in, 12; in Austro-Hungarian Empire, 10–12; Slovakian inhabitants ceded to, 146 illnesses: angina, 108, 141; bronchitis, 108; canker sore, 86–87; chicken pox, 30, 31, 34, 35, 39; colds, 55, 70–71, 86, 120; cramps, 65; enteritis, 50–51; fever, 123–124; flu, 73, 86, 108; food poisoning, 141; hives, 58; larynx infection, 93; measles, 110; mumps, 115–116; rashes, 49, 50, 52, 56–57, 61, 64, 73, 78, 81, 102, 114, 115; rubella, 141; scarlet fever, 150, 151–152; scoliosis, 106, 109; stomach flu, 115 Im Tunnel: Das Kurze Leben der Marion Samuel, 1931–1943 (Aly), 5 inoculations, 54 intellectual development: arithmetic, 8, 124, 129, 138, 142; comprehension, 73–74; fairy tales, 82; in infancy, 35, 38; memory, 62; mimicking behavior, 109; nursery rhymes, 64; political awareness, 12, 129, 143–144; precocious remarks, 8, 129, 134, 142; reading, 139, 141; in school years, 138, 139, 141, 142; at six months, 50; writing, 8, 124, 124, 129, 138, 142. See also speech development Italy, 149, 173n35 Javorina, 146 Jelinková, Mrs. (teacher), 141 Jewish codex, 13–14, 156, 173n42 Jewish identity, 4, 20–21, 91, 144 Jewish public school, Čadca, 149, 154–155 Keegan, Robert T., 6 Kiš, Danilo, 3, 10, 21

177

178

Index Klemperer, Victor, 19 Koritschau, Peter, 126–128 Kovács, Irénke, 152 labor, forced, 14, 156 Landshut, Judith, 164–165 Langford, Martha, 14 Leinsdörfer, “Grandma,” 113, 171n11 letters of protection, 163 Linek, Stefan, 29 Linenthal, Edward, 18 Lueger, Karl, 12 Maginot Line, 148 Magyarization, 11 Majdanek camp, 164 Marion Samuel Prize, 5 Masaryk, Tomáš Garrigue, 12, 129, 172n20 Max and Moritz, 20, 91, 170n33 measles, 110 mental development. See intellectual development milk intake charts, 7, 30, 31, 33, 34–35, 36–37, 38, 39–40, 41, 42–43, 44, 45 milk sensitivity, 58, 73 mimicking behavior, 109 modesty, sense of, 158 moral development, 84, 110–111 moral punishment, 84, 85, 142 Moravia, 11, 146 Mošovce, 146, 173n32 Mother’s Day performances, 113, 132– 133, 134 mumps, 115–116 Munich conference, 145 musical ear, 61, 72, 93 naming, selection of Kitty’s name, 29 Neologist community, 173n31 Neologist school, 146 nervous anxiety, 131–132, 135, 138 Neufeld, Dr., 141 Neumann, Eugen, 8, 27, 28

Neumann, Hansi, 135 Neumann, Mausi, 126, 127, 131, 133 Neuwirth, Desider, 27 Night (Wiesel), 17 North Africa, 149 Norway, 148 Nové Mesto, 81 “Observing Eye, The: A Century of Baby Diaries” (Wallace, Franklin, and Keegan), 6 parenting: and child’s best interests, 87; and crying infant, 30; and modesty training, 158; moral punishment, 84, 85, 142; and scientific motherhood, 7–8; and threats, 74. See also spanking Passover, 21, 91, 171n46 Philips Company, 4 “phooey,” 68, 72 photo albums, 14 photography: amateur, 23; Kitty’s reactions to, 16, 76, 78; last picture of Kitty, 160, 163; representation of family life, 14–16 physical development, 35; adolescent, 156, 158; behind the norm, 58, 129, 130, 134; grasping, 37, 42, 51; hearing, 31; in school years, 141; sexual, 158; sitting up, 46, 49; standing up, 52, 54; teeth, 53, 56, 57, 64, 134; turning over, 43; vision, 30; walking, 55, 58, 61, 62, 66 plaster bed, 106, 109 play, 62, 63, 65, 109, 123 playmates, 120, 130, 140; biting, 85; at Čadca, 101, 102, 103; in day care, 126– 128; hitting, 74, 118–119 pogroms, 11 Poláček, 156 Poland, 9, 146, 147–148 Politzer, Dr., 115, 116 Pollak, Gertruda, 164 Pollak, Malvine, 164

Index potty training, 55, 59, 68, 70, 77, 81, 105, 123 Practical Psychology of Babyhood, A (Fenton), 7–8 prayers, evening, 117–118, 142 pregnancy of Esti Weichherz, 27 Preyer, Wilhelm, 7 punishment: moral, 84, 85, 142; threats, 74. See also spanking quartz ray treatment, 108 radio, 139 rashes, 49, 50, 52, 56–57, 61, 64, 73, 78, 81, 102, 114, 115 reading, 139, 141, 155 Reform Judaism (Neologism), 173n31 Reich, Alfred, 150–151 religion: Christian conversion attempt, 20, 118; evening prayer, 117–118, 142; Jewish identity, 4, 20–21, 91, 144 religious education, 118 rickets (English disease), 55, 169n17 Ripper, Tommy, 118–119, 120, 130 Romania, 149, 173n34 Rosenfeld (Ludwig) firm, 153, 158 Roskies, David, 18 Rudas, Dr., 152 Ruhig, Stefan, 29 Runciman, Walter, 145, 172n27 Russia, 9, 148, 149 Ružomberok, 145 Samuel, Marion, 5 scarlet fever, 150, 151–152 school: and anti-Semitic measures, 13, 146; class pictures, 137, 143; disobedient behavior in, 138; first day of, 134; Jewish public school in Čadca, 149, 154; and nervous anxiety, 135, 138; progress in, 138, 139, 142; switch to Neologist school, 146; switch to Štefánik school, 140–141. See also day care center

Schwarberg, Günther, 165 Schweighofer’s store, 62 scientific baby diaries, 6–7 scientific motherhood, 7–8 scoliosis, 106, 109 secularism, 4, 20 Seele des Kindes, Die (The Soul of the Child ) (Preyer), 7 Seidman, Naomi, 17 sex education, 158 sexual development, 158 sexual differences, perception of, 108 sexuality, childhood, 83 Sidor, Karol, 13, 145–146, 173n29 Siebenburgen, 149 Slaniák, 156 sleeping patterns, 33, 38, 59, 63, 82–83, 85–86, 105 Slovakia: as autonomous state, 13, 146, 173n30; Central Jewish Organization, 156, 173n41; complicity in Holocaust, 10, 13; Jewish codex, 13–14, 156, 173n42; rise of nationalism, 12–13; status of Jews in autonomous state, 13–14, 146, 156, 159–160; status of Jews under Hapsburg Empire, 11 Slovak Jews: arrests of, 156; curfew for, 155–156; deportations of, 2, 10, 14, 159–161, 163–164; identified with Magyar domination, 11; joblessness of, 13, 146, 152; in labor duty, 14, 156; and nationalist anti-Semitism, 10–12, 13; persecution by nationalist government, 13–14, 146, 156, 159–160 Slovak language, 4, 62, 83, 93, 104, 108, 113, 133, 141 Sobibór death camp, 4, 14, 164 Solution of the Jewish Question in Slovakia, The (Vašek), 164 spanking, 71, 72, 80, 100, 101, 110; for biting, 68; guilty feelings for hitting a child, 117; Kitty’s view of, 120, 134; for lying, 129; for nervous anxiety, 132; for wetting, 73, 123

179

180

Index speech development: babbling, 35, 40, 44, 49; commands, 63, 70–71; conversation, 67–68; first words, 46, 49, 57, 58; German language, 71, 83, 85, 104; Hungarian language, 64, 71, 83, 91, 170n40; sentences, 67; Slovak language, 62, 83, 93, 104, 108, 113, 133; vocabulary, 61 Spock, Benjamin, 7 Stalin, Josef, 5 standing up, 46, 49, 52, 54 Štefánik school, 141, 143, 146 Strebinger, Hansi, 133 sucking behavior, 35, 38, 43, 51, 59, 112 Sudetenland, occupation of, 13, 144–145, 172n27 Suspended Conversations: The Afterlife of Memory in the Photographic Album (Langford), 14 swimming, 139 Tagebuch, 4–5 Taine, Hippolyte, 6 teeth/teething, 53, 56, 57, 64, 134, 139 theater visits, 89–90, 131–132, 139 Theban, 146 Tiefenweg Street apartment, 118 Tiso, Jozef, 10, 13 Tiszaeszlar, Hungary, 12 toilet training, 55, 59, 68, 70, 77, 81, 105, 123 Trenčin, 81 Tyrnau, 146 Ukraine, 173n34 United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, 18, 165 Vaculík (Rudolf) firm, 156 Vašek, Anton, 164 Veľká Bytča, 81, 104 vernacular language, 4 Vigantol, 58

walking, 55, 58, 61, 62, 66 Wallace, Doris B., 6 WDR (West German Radio), 165 Weichherz, Béla: conflict with family in Čadca, 149–152; as diarist, 4–5; employment of, 4, 5, 46, 153, 156, 158; job loss of, 13, 146; in labor duty, 156; on parenting, 30, 84, 87, 117; return to wartime Bratislava, 151, 152–154; and wife’s health, 152, 154, 161 Weichherz baby diary: biographical connection to Anne Frank, 16–18; Holocaust as frame of reference for, 9, 10; as Holocaust memoir, 17, 18–20; illustrations and mementos in, 4, 23; motives for writing, 5, 6; named Tagebuch, 4–5; photographic representation of family life, 14–16, 23; political events in, 9–10, 12–13, 19–20, 144–149, 159–160; survival of, 164– 165 Weichherz family: background of, 4; deaths in, 142–143; deportation of, 4, 14, 164; extermination of, 164; Jewish identity of, 4, 20–21, 91, 144; origins of name, 11; refuge in Čadca, 14, 145, 149–154; secularism of, 4, 20; surviving remnants of, 164–165 weight chart, 95 Weil, Dr., 106 Weiss, Trude, 130 whining behavior, 100, 104–105, 112–113 Wiesel, Elie, 17 Winkler, Professor, 148, 154 Winter War of 1939–40, 173n33 World War II, outbreak of, 9, 147–149 writing, 124, 124, 129, 138, 142 yellow stars, 14, 159 Žilina, 13, 145, 146, 156, 160 Žilina Manifesto of 1938, 173n30 zoo, visit to, 75–76

About the Editor Daniel H. Magilow is an assistant professor of German at the University of Tennessee. His research focuses on issues of Holocaust representation, German-Jewish studies, and German cultural studies and modernism. In 2005–6, he was the Pearl Resnick Postdoctoral Fellow at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C.