Get Your Sparkle Back: 10 Steps to Weight Loss and Overcoming Emotional Eating 9781916242401, 1916242405

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GET YOUR SPARKLE BACK 10 Steps to Weight Loss and Overcoming Emotional Eating

Silvana Siskov

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GET YOUR SPARKLE BACK - 10 STEPS TO WEIGHT LOSS AND OVERCOMING EMOTIONAL EATING www.getsparkleback.com Copyright © 2019 SILVANA SISKOV ISBN: 978-1-9162424-0-1 All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced mechanically, electronically, or by any other means, including photocopying, without permission of the publisher or author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission from the publisher or author. Limits of Liability and Disclaimer of Warranty The author and publisher shall not be liable for your misuse of the enclosed material. This book is strictly for informational and educational purposes only. Warning Disclaimer The purpose of this book is to educate and entertain. The author and/or publisher do not guarantee that anyone following these techniques, suggestions, tips, ideas, or strategies will become successful. The author and/or publisher shall have neither liability nor responsibility to anyone with respect to any loss or damage caused, or alleged to be caused, directly or indirectly by the information contained in this book. Medical Disclaimer The medical or health information in this book is provided as an information resource only, and is not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes. This information is not intended to be patient education, does not create any patient-physician relationship, and should not be used as a substitute for professional diagnosis and treatment. Printed in the United States and the United Kingdom.

Table of Contents ABOUT THE AUTHOR FOREWORD SUCCESS STORIES CHAPTER 1 AT THE BEGINNING YOUR BELIEFS YOUR SELF-TALK WHY DIETS DO NOT WORK FEAR OF FAILURE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD CHAPTER 2 WHAT IS EMOTIONAL EATING? CYCLE OF EMOTIONAL EATING EATING YOUR EMOTIONS BEATING YOURSELF UP IDENTIFY YOUR TRIGGERS RECOGNISE WHAT YOU NEED CHAPTER 3 HAVE A CLEAR VISION WHAT IS YOUR WHY? READINESS TO CHANGE MIND MAPPING MAKE YOUR GOALS S.M.A.R.T. BIGGER PICTURE CHAPTER 4 SELF-LOVE EXPRESS GRATITUDE SELF-REWARDS YOUR CORE VALUES GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

BLUE ZONES CHAPTER 5 POSITIVE MINDSET BUILD A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE 5 STEPS TO DEVELOP HEALTHY HABITS ARE YOU CONFUSED ABOUT ALL THE CONFLICTING INFORMATION? NUTRIENTS AND YOUR BODY THE KEY TO YOUR HEALTH AND WEIGHT LOSS CHAPTER 6 EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT CARBS EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PROTEIN EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT FAT EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT FIBRE EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT STARCH EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SUGAR CHAPTER 7 ARE FOOD CRAVINGS A HABIT? ARE YOU A SUGAR ADDICT? THIS IS WHAT TO EAT TO STOP CRAVINGS THIS IS WHAT TO DO TO STOP CRAVINGS MINDFUL EATING PHYSICAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL/EMOTIONAL HUNGER CHAPTER 8 PHYSICAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL/EMOTIONAL BARRIERS HITTING A PLATEAU WHAT IS HIDING IN OUR FOOD? UNDERSTANDING FOOD LABELS LACKING MOTIVATION GETTING SUPPORT CHAPTER 9 10 REASONS WHY YOU CANNOT LOSE WEIGHT DIET VS EXERCISE THE WEIGHT-LOSS MINDSET

PLANNING WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN CELEBRATE SMALL WINS CHAPTER 10 SLEEP STRESS HORMONES SELF-CARE BE WHO YOU REALLY ARE CREATE A NEW SELF-IMAGE THANK YOU HELPFUL RESOURCES

About the Author

Silvana Siskov, the author of Get Your Sparkle Back, is a counsellor, nutritionist, and health coach, who spent the last 20 years working with people in a variety of settings supporting them with their issues, ranging from mental health problems to weight loss. Silvana was born in Croatia and moved to the UK in 1991, where she still lives. Silvana’s interest in nutrition started, when almost a decade ago, she experienced health issues, and as a result of it, she made some simple changes to her diet and lifestyle. She then discovered how implementing those changes made a big difference in her health and the way she felt. This helped her to discover the power of food, and to understand the importance of having a healthy lifestyle, which encouraged her to study nutrition and lifestyle coaching, so she can help others to make necessary changes that can improve their life. Over the last few years, Silvana developed a passion in supporting women and giving them advice on their journey towards better health, increased energy levels, permanent weight loss, and more happiness. With her background in psychology, and having training in counselling, coaching, and nutrition, Silvana has the knowledge and experience to help her clients in making behavioural changes to achieve their health and weight-loss goals. She understands her clients’ problems and is able to give them support and advice they need. She does it by offering them one-to-one programmes, online programmes, and regularly doing talks and workshops. Anyone who has ever worked with Silvana knows she is extremely caring towards her clients’ needs and is committed to providing them with the right support. Silvana’s mission is to help women create a deeper connection to themselves, and empower them to achieve their goals, so they can create the life they want.

Get Your Sparkle Back is a great read for women of any age and combines nutrition and weight loss advice, with lots of details on the importance of self-love and how it can help provide inspiration needed to overcome emotional overeating. Silvana recognises the needs of her readers and motivates them through the book, while at the same time giving them lifestyle and dietary tips, so they can improve their health and quality of life. Silvana writes with her heart, and in this book, she passionately describes how leading a healthy lifestyle and nourishing the body with the right foods can support us in achieving a healthy weight, which will make a difference to our health and well-being.

Foreword If you are struggling with overeating due to emotional issues, Get Your Sparkle Back by Silvana Siskov will provide you with the assistance you need. This ten-step guide will offer you the emotional wisdom required to reverse habitual overeating and indulgence. Different areas of life are covered in this useful guide, and Silvana’s experience as a personal coach and counsellor has given her the insight needed to provide you with the knowledge and the impetus you need to turn your life around. Silvana has two decades of experience, and can guide you towards better life and more happiness. She gained plenty of knowledge through her education and lots of experience through her work. She proudly shares them with you in this book. Losing weight is personal, and it is not always possible for slimming clubs or nutritionists to provide the solutions needed. This useful guide from Silvana will offer you an opportunity to learn more about the triggers that cause overeating and help you develop new habits to overcome addiction to food. You will also learn about what diet and lifestyle changes to make that will lead you towards better health and weight loss. Silvana passionately talks about the importance of self-care and provides you with the tools needed to turn around your life so you can create good health and a happy life. Raymond Aaron New York Times Bestselling Author

Success Stories

Julia “Only a few months ago I was very unhappy — a size 18/20 and eating for comfort. Not any more. I am fit, healthy, and very happy. Thank you, Silvana, for your help.” Dianne “Thank you, Silvana. This has been a very educational journey. I am still learning, but I am grateful that the small changes are becoming habits and are taking some of the stress from everyday life. Thank you.” Melanie “Working with Silvana is very interesting as she has a great way of offering practical advice but also coaching you on your mindset and habits. She knows how to help you get out of unhelpful habits. I have lost weight; my body-fat ratio has dropped, and I am feeling healthier than ever. Thank you, Silvana, for helping me make a lasting change.” Denise “I had issues with emotional eating, and now I eat healthy and nutritious foods, which help me with my comfort eating.” Julia “What I needed was nutrition information. Silvana gave me all the information and support I needed to get my confidence back. I lost weight and now I feel confident to go to the gym. I put my bikini on for the first time after 20 years. I am on holiday now and enjoying being by the pool in my bikini. I am feeling strong.” Carol

“Working with Silvana has been really helpful and encouraging, and I learned new ways of thinking about ‘things.’ Now I have a better understanding of effects the food I am eating is having on me and how I can make positive changes.”

Over the last couple of decades, I worked with a number of people who needed my help. Even though I was an expert and they were my clients, they taught me so much. They have been my best teachers; without them, this book would not exist. I want to thank every single one of you from the bottom of my heart, who, over the years, helped me to learn what I know now. You will always be in my memory and my heart. Lots of Love xx Silvana

Chapter 1 Starting with the Weight Loss “You do not become what you want; you become what you believe.” Oprah Winfrey

At the Beginning Weight loss is one of the most important and challenging journeys that you will ever take. This book will support you through your journey and help you get a clearer understanding of your needs. It will provide you with important nutritional information, and give you guidance that you need, so you can overcome your emotional eating and reach healthy and sustainable weight loss, which will lead to a much happier life and a healthier YOU. I have a real passion for helping women turn their life and health around by making some simple diet and lifestyle changes. I do this by combining my knowledge as a nutritionist, with my background in psychology and counselling, and my training as a health coach. I take a holistic point of view when working with clients, and I implement a 3-way approach when dealing with their issues. I use nutrition, counselling, and coaching, and we look at different areas of their lives. I love seeing my clients change their mindset around food, free themselves from the diet trap, and get the results they dreamed of. I find it extremely rewarding to see them moving from the place of stagnation to the place where they flourish and grow. In my everyday work, I see and speak to women of all shapes and sizes. I give them support and advice on their journey towards better health, increased energy levels, permanent weight loss, and more happiness, so they can feel amazing, and experience more satisfaction and comfort in their lives. Clients often come to me because of one specific reason, and that is the weight loss. Some people have strong beliefs that once the weight is lost, happiness will be found. But is this true? It is important to understand that for many people, being overweight or obese is nothing other than the reflection of what is going on in their lives. It is a reflection of their mental and emotional states. Overeating, unhealthy eating, lack of physical activity, lack of sleep, high stress levels, use of stimulants such as coffee or alcohol, low energy levels, and a lack of self-

care are all side effects of what is going on in many people’s lives, which can potentially result in obesity and bad health. Certain illnesses, some medical conditions, and the fluctuation of hormones can all be responsible for determining someone’s weight, but 90% of overweight and obese people struggle with their weight because of the combination of factors I mentioned above. They are all self-generating and influenced by personal choice. When I initially started working with clients, helping them on their weightloss journey, I focused solely on their nutritional needs, ignoring everything else, which was a mistake. Most of the work was centred on what food to eat to lose weight, instead of exploring triggers that caused them to eat unhealthy, and looking deeper into the reasons for food binging. It did not take me long to realise that unless I changed my approach, then nothing was going to change for my clients. So together, with the clients’ permission, we began looking at their feelings, exploring their emotions, creating their visions, and establishing goals that they wanted to achieve. What happened next? A new approach brought a new outcome. Implementing my new approach helped me gain a better understanding of my clients’ issues and their needs, and they got better results as we looked at the triggers and removed problems that contributed to their weight gain. Lots of clients lost lots of weight, others lost not so much weight, but all of them got healthier and much happier too. Their confidence increased as they gained much more control over their lives. What happened next? The weight loss was not the number one priority anymore. You see, when people start exploring their inner world, then their life improves, and the strong desire they had about losing weight often diminishes. More powerful needs come to the surface, and those needs then become so much more important. Exploring the inner world is pivotal when you are trying to lose weight. Getting to know yourself plays an important role when travelling on the

journey towards your body transformation. What I often notice is that the real transformation takes place when people start looking inwards rather than outwards, and when they start implementing changes from the inside first. It is crucial to focus on the internal power rather than look for the external resources. Everything you do in life has to start from within. That is the place where all the beginnings are born. You cannot always control the outside, but you can always change your inside, which then impacts your life, relationships, confidence, self-belief, and the way you experience the world around you.

Your Beliefs I often hear people saying that they want to lose weight, but they do not believe they can. The things we believe about ourselves tend to be the things we instinctively make happen. This is the cornerstone of most systems for becoming a successful person. As Henry Ford said, long ago, “If you think you can, or you think you cannot, you are probably right.” In terms of weight loss, if your self-image is of an overweight failure, it is unlikely that you are going to succeed in losing weight. On the other hand, if you think of yourself as someone capable of succeeding and looking great, then you have a much greater chance of achieving your weight-loss goal, especially if the outcome is something you can genuinely enjoy. What you believe will often affect your behaviour and determine the outcome of your actions. Human beings are very judgemental, and we have a habit, from an early age, to compare and judge others and ourselves. Where weight loss is concerned, it is very common to compare ourselves with other dieters. As the weight loss is not a straight forward activity, and it often involves lots of ups and downs (more downs than ups), when trying to lose weight, one of the worst things you can do is to keep comparing yourself to others. This can be a good motivational tool before you begin your weight-loss journey. Focusing on other people’s successes every time you struggle, fail, or experience the weight-loss plateau, means you are not focusing on yourself and what you are capable of. Instead, you are only seeing yourself being inadequate to others because you cannot achieve what you believe others can. My advice is to stop comparing yourself with other people, as noticing only their successes and your failures will destroy your confidence level and lower your ability to succeed. Your judgements of yourself influence your self-belief and affect the way you feel about yourself. This greatly impacts the way you present yourself to the world, and the way you live your life.

I often hear people saying, “I cannot lose weight. I have tried so many diets, and none of them ever worked for me; therefore, I will never be able to lose weight.” I also hear, “I cannot lose weight because everyone in my family is fat; therefore, I have to be fat too.” And I also hear, “As I am in my 40s now, it is impossible to lose weight.” Does any of this sound familiar? Can you relate to it? These are your limiting beliefs. They have not been proven to be true, but they are your truths, and you believe in them. Therefore, they rule your life. Your conscious thoughts may want you to have a slim body and lose weight, but your subconscious, deep-rooted beliefs are that it is hard, you tried it before and did not succeed, and now you believe you cannot do it. You also know everyone in your family is overweight and you are getting older too; therefore, your beliefs limit your expectations of what you can achieve. Let me ask you something: What do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror? Do you see your beautiful self, or do you see a part of yourself that you do not approve of? Your judgements and expectations are a part of your belief system. What you see in the mirror will always be a reflection of your judgements of yourself. The mirror will only reflect back to you your beliefs of yourself. If you believe you are ugly, then you will see yourself as ugly. If you believe you are pretty, you will see yourself as pretty. You will only see what you expect to see and who you believe you are, and not who you really are. If you expect to see an overweight, middle-aged woman with grey hair, who has lost the sparkle in her eyes, then this is who will appear in front of you when you look at your reflection. She will be staring at you with a strong judgement and a forceful conviction in her mind. Some people have strong beliefs in their inability to change. Even though they are unhappy with their reality, they do not take any action because their limiting beliefs stop them from seeing another option. Remember that you

are your only limit, and you are your only encouragement towards your weight loss goal and better health. Nothing can stop you from moving forward as much as you can stop yourself. And nothing can push you going forward as much as you can push yourself. Over the last two decades, I have worked with different types of clients and in different types of settings. I often hear people talking about their desire to change their lives, their health, their diets, their relationships, their jobs, etc., but most of them do not take any action that can encourage the change to happen. Wanting to do something is one thing, but believing you can actually do it is another. I came to the realisation that unless you believe in a positive outcome, you will never be ready to take action towards the change. The change takes people outside of their comfort zones, and it leads them to something new, something unknown. Anything unknown often feels scary. Anything known feels familiar and safe even though it can cause unhappiness. You need to understand that only by making a change will you achieve what you want in life. Only by making a change will you get your sparkle back; if you stay the same, you will not shine. Your self-talk is one of the tools you can use to create the change you want. It can empower you and positively change your life. But the power of selftalk will only be able to help if you use the right words and empowering language to communicate with yourself.

Your Self-Talk Your thoughts and beliefs form the language you use to communicate with yourself and people around you. They are very much in charge of the way you express yourself, which consequently affects your feelings and your actions. Negative thoughts will create negative behaviours and negative self-talk, while positive thoughts will support you to do your best. Your belief system will either encourage your growth or put limits on what you can do, and this will be reflected in the way you speak to yourself. Talking to yourself respectfully, and finding words of encouragement, can increase your motivation and help your self-esteem, but criticising yourself can only prevent you from believing in your abilities and strengths. What you say to yourself is more important and has more influence on your behaviour than what other people tell you. Negative self-talk can limit you, while positive self-talk can drive you forward. I often hear people speaking badly about themselves and putting themselves down. Are you one of those people? My self-talk limited me for many years. This behaviour never helped me achieve what I wanted. It often took me in the opposite direction from where I wanted to be. I am just beginning to learn how to speak to myself with more respect and care. Your self-talk will often have an enormous impact on how successful you are going to be in achieving your desired goals. Whether it is the weightloss goal or something else, it does not really matter. Speaking nicely to yourself and showing respect will help you gain confidence and build courage. Positive self-talk creates a positive attitude. It changes your thought process and can turn negatives into positives. Feeding your mindset with positivity will result in leading a healthier lifestyle, and more happiness. It will also encourage you to take better care of yourself and pay more attention to your needs. You can develop positive self-talk the same way you develop negative selftalk. It comes down to practise. The more you practise, the better you will become.

We are going to look at the ways your habits influence your life, later on in the book, but for now, just remember that most of your behaviours are the product of your regularly repeated actions, which after a while become habits that rule your life. Never underestimate the power of your habits. Negative self-talk is nothing else but learned behaviour. Your self-talk is your reflection of your feelings and your interpretation of your beliefs. As I mentioned in the previous section of this book, your beliefs may not always represent the truth, but they are your truths, and they set up expectations in your mind. These expectations are not based on facts but on your insecurities. I noticed with many of my clients that there is often a lot of negative language when they try to describe why they cannot have what they desire. They try to convince themselves they cannot be happy, lose weight, be in a loving relationship, or achieve what they want, because they are not worthy of it: they are failures, nobody loves them, and they do not deserve to be loved. Are you someone who feels this way? I wonder how this kind of language serves your needs. I also wonder how open you are to accept all parts of yourself with love and respect. Even though what you say to yourself may not always be true, and the words you say may hurt you, and your behaviour may not be doing you any favours, after a while, what you say to yourself often becomes your reality, and you find it very hard to let go of it. I am inviting you to challenge your thoughts and to ask yourself if your thoughts are always true: if they are based on logic or if they come from the part of you that resists changing. Some people find it extremely hard to say anything nice about themselves or give themselves credit for making an effort, but they often find it so easy to criticise and make hurtful judgements about themselves. My advice to you is to be nice to yourself and be your own best friend. When speaking to yourself, make a decision to always use positive language that inspires you and makes you feel important. Speak to yourself the way you would speak to someone you love. Use language that gives you

encouragement and shows that you care about yourself. At the end of the day, you are the only thing you will always have; everything else can be lost, borrowed, or replaced. Your self-talk is something that you can control and change, so make it work for you. Start with being nice to yourself and being loving towards your needs. I hope you can now see how positive self-talk can have a positive effect on you, and how negative self-talk can impact your behavioural patterns in a way that has a harmful effect on your life. In the next section, we are going to look at why diets do not work, and we will explore different stages that people often go through when following diets that in most cases do not produce any positive results, but instead encourage metabolism to slow down and force you to regain all the weight you lost. And not only that, after dieting, many people often put the weight back on very quickly, weighing more than before they went on a diet.

Why Diets Do Not Work Women I work with often try so many diets before they decide to seek my help. Most of them attend different slimming clubs, and follow a variety of diets, such as the cabbage diet, SlimFast diet, Atkins diet, Slimming World diet, and others. They also try reducing their calorie intake, which often turns into starvation, rather than just eating slightly less. While experimenting with different diets, some women lose a little bit of weight while others lose lots of weight, but eventually most of them regain the weight they lost. This often brings feelings of blame and shame, and feelings of disappointment in themselves. Weight loss is like anything else in life. It requires patience, love, understanding, and compassion, and if you want to succeed, then you need to learn how to offer all those things to yourself and be able to receive them with open arms. Weight loss is the gift that only YOU can give to yourself. And it creates better health, improves energy, and helps you to build confidence. What is the diet cycle? Here is the diet cycle that many people get caught up in every time they try to lose weight. This explains why diets do not work. Step 1: You start dieting. Step 2: You feel restricted. Step 3: You feel deprived. Step 4: You start craving forbidden food, which causes you to start feeling sorry for yourself. Step 5: You give up because you feel it is too hard to continue. Step 6: You feel guilty because you broke the diet. Step 7: You start dieting again, and you return to Step 1. Many people often feel that once they start dieting, they get pulled into the vicious cycle, and when this happens, then they feel like there is no way out

of it. Can you relate to this? When people want to lose weight, their focus is primarily centred on the food they eat, and they spend lots of time thinking and talking about the food — what to eat, when to eat, and how much to eat — while ignoring other important factors that can impact their weight. Eating less often, eating less carbohydrates, eating less fats, or just eating less food is not necessarily what your body requires. Eating less is not the same as eating right. Eating less focuses on calorie reduction, and eating right focuses on the increase of the nutrients in your foods, and that is a big difference. Eating less food can cause muscle loss. Reducing the body’s muscle mass will slow down your metabolism, as muscles burn more energy than fat. As soon as you start eating more, your body will hold on to the food you eat and store it as fat. Your body is very clever and knows exactly how to behave in any given moment. When you start dieting and begin eating less, your body understands that it has to slow down, which means you are not going to burn fuel so fast. And when you start eating more food, your body will be too slow for the amount of food and drink you consume, so you start gaining the weight again. Eating less can also increase your appetite, and this is often the main reason why dieters’ willpower to lose weight often weakens after the first few days. Increased appetite encourages you to eat more food or start eating forbidden food. People often react to this by using negative self-talk, which then creates negative emotions. This is why dieting is often seen as a mindset game. Saying to yourself that you are useless or not good enough because you cannot stick to your diet, or that you are not as likeable as other people because you are overweight, will not help you in any way, shape or form. This type of self-talk does the opposite of what you want to achieve. It can encourage you to eat even more, and sometimes this can lead to binging/uncontrollable eating.

It is important to mention that one diet does not suit everyone. Not every person will benefit from the same diet the same way. There are some fundamental rules that we all must follow if we want to be slim and healthy, but following the same diet will not create the same result for every single person. For instance, the body of a menopausal woman, and the body of a physically active, 20-year-old male, will most likely respond to the same diet in very different ways. A menopausal woman needs to introduce different types of food for her body, such as eating more healthy fats. She also needs to pay attention to having enough rest and reducing stress, and very importantly, she needs to prioritise sleep. An average 20-year-old man can get away with eating more unhealthy foods and not always have to listen to his body. His dietary needs and lifestyle habits are very different from a menopausal, middle-aged woman, due to his higher body mass, less body fat, and higher activity level. Another reason why so many diets do not work long term is because they do not teach people how to live healthy lives. Most diets are concentrating only on the diet that is often unsustainable, and the aim is to encourage people to eat only for weight loss rather than to be healthy. The focus tends to be away from looking at the obstacles that can prevent them from losing weight. There are so many diets that you can follow, but my advice is this: Do not follow any diet that is unrealistic and not sustainable. The best diet is the one that can become your way of life. It has to be simple enough for you, and teach you how to create healthy eating and healthy lifestyle habits, so your weight loss is easy to manage and can become a part of your life. In this section, we looked at why diets do not work. You were maybe aware of some of the points I mentioned here, and maybe you even recognised some of your behaviours. You might be thinking of introducing some important changes to your eating habits, but I often notice that having a desire to change does not always result in making a change. What is stopping us? There are many factors that control our behaviours. One of them is fear. Fear can hold us back and stop us from moving forward. There are different

types of fear, but in the next section, we are going to focus on the fear of failure and explore how this can affect our ability to change.

Fear of Failure The fear of failure can stop you from doing things — things you are capable of doing, and even things you are destined to do. Fear can prevent you from taking actions and achieving things in life. In short, fear can set you up for failure before you even start. The fear of failure is very common when it comes to weight loss. It can freeze your ability to act and paralyse you, so you cannot accomplish the tasks required in order to achieve your goal, despite your best efforts and desire to do so. This is what I often hear: “What is the point of trying to lose weight? I tried it so many times in the past, and it never worked. At the end, I always gain it back, and then I feel disappointed.” I also hear, “What if I tried it, and it does not work again? I will feel like a failure.” And I also hear this: “I keep trying, and I keep failing. I do not have energy for it anymore.” I understand where your fear is coming from, and I understand the reason behind your thinking. I get it. I really do. It is not easy when you keep doing something only to receive disappointment at the end of it. It crushes you inside and affects your future efforts — does it not? The fear of failure can be so overwhelming and can create the stress that takes your power away. When this happens, your fear creates your future, and it is not your ability to move forward that determines the outcome. Failing at weight loss is not uncommon. Failing at weight loss a number of times is not uncommon. This can stop you from trying again and succeeding. Your fear of failure can affect your confidence, influence your perspective, and create negative emotions. Some of the steps to overcome fear of failure where weight loss is concerned are these: Look deeper inwards, and identify the reasons for your fear. Take actions despite the fear.

Do not be hard on yourself. Think of past experiences as the learning curve, and grow from it. Focus on the reasons why you should lose weight, rather than why you should not. Fear is just a feeling that your mind created. It will never help you achieve a positive result, and that is the reason for a negative reaction to it. I suggest you use the fear to push you rather than stop you, and focus on the solution rather than on all the bad experiences you had in the past. When you do not succeed in something, think of what you learned from it rather than why you failed. Your failure does not drive you forward; it tries to stop you. Focusing on self-belief will give you strength, and that is where your energy has to be placed. In the following section, we are going to look at what it means when people say they want to have a better relationship with food. It is not the type of relationship we often think of, but it is as important as all other relationships we have.

Your Relationship with Food The way you respond to food is the way you respond to everything else. People who seek instant gratification are more likely to develop habits of an emotional eater, and to eat for the purpose of satisfying their emotional state, rather than eating to satisfy their physiological hunger and taking care of their health and well-being long term. I often hear people saying, especially women, that they would like to improve their relationship with food. When they say this, what I am really hearing is, “I want to improve my relationship with myself, but I do not know how.” Have you ever wondered which one of your relationships is the most important? Is it the one with your parents, your children, your friends, or…? Did you know that the most important relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself? How you relate to yourself determines what kind of relationship you will have with the people around you, your environment, the food you eat, and the job you do. The better relationship you develop with yourself, the better connection you are going to have with the people and things around you. This will result in having a more fulfilling life, and will create a better understanding of what you need and what you really want. Your relationship with yourself is the foundation for all other relationships that you develop in your lifetime. When you learn how to love yourself, forgive yourself, take good care of yourself, respect and talk nicely to yourself, and never criticise yourself, your relationship with food will improve. These are the basic principles of self-care that many people never learn. It is very easy to get focused on the relationships we have with others, and it is so easy to ignore the one we have with ourselves, but this relationship is the most important, and it should be above all the others. Your relationship with food will not change until you improve your relationship with yourself. Only by establishing a solid relationship with

yourself will your relationship with food blossom, and your other relationships will experience positive changes too. The way we relate to the food we eat is simply a reflection of our inner thoughts and feelings. My relationship with food has not always been a healthy one, I admit. In the past, I did not always listen to my body, and I often overate. I also ate food that only offered me temporary relief, with hardly any nutritional value or any long-term benefits. It took me a long time to notice that this kind of behaviour was triggered every time my life was out of balance. My behaviour reacted to my life challenges in a negative and quite impactful way. Eventually, this affected my health. I used to visit a doctor regularly for about five years, until I was finally diagnosed with an underactive thyroid. The diagnosis helped me understand what was wrong with me all along. But then it took years before I began to feel okay again. Medication did not always help me, and my doctors were not always very helpful, so I started to research my condition. Making changes to my diet and lifestyle brought changes to my health and well-being. I got hooked on what I discovered, and this was the reason why I then wanted to learn more about nutrition, and decided to take the nutrition course. This is also the reason why I feel so passionate about helping other women to feel good about themselves, and to be happy with their lives, and proud of their bodies. It might sound too simple and easy, but making small changes often results in a big difference. The accumulation of small changes, and the repetition of healthy behaviours can bring big results. It is not always easy, but it is always worth it. This book is a step-by-step guide that will help you lose weight and overcome your emotional and comfort eating. There are 10 chapters in this book and with each chapter you will be one step closer to your goal. Each chapter may seem like a giant step to take, but they are broken into many small and very manageable steps, and learning about each of them will help you get closer to your weight-loss goal.

In the accompanying book website, www.getsparkleback.com, you will find a guidebook with some useful information and tasks to complete. As you keep reading through the book, you will be reminded to download the guidebook and to work on the worksheets that you will find there. Each worksheet in the guidebook covers a specific area in this book. You will be encouraged to complete each worksheet as you go along. The purpose of it is to support your learning, raise awareness about your behaviour, and help you be more in control of your eating and lifestyle habits. As you read through the book, you will be guided to take a number of action steps that can help you improve your health and overcome your emotional eating, which can lead to a healthy weight. Now I would like you to download the guidebook from the supported book website, www.getsparkleback.com. I suggest you print out the guidebook for easier use and fill out the worksheet called Are You an Emotional Eater? This will help you to explore your feelings around the food and to find out if you are displaying behaviours of an emotional eater. Building awareness about your feelings and behaviours can help you create an understanding of your actions. Understanding often serves as the vehicle that motivates us to create change.

Chapter 2 Emotional Eating “Hunger, I discovered, is very much a matter of the mind, and as I began to study my own appetites, I saw that my teenage craving had not really been for food. That ravenous desire had been a yearning for love, attention, appreciation. Food had merely been my substitute.” Ruth Reichi

What Is Emotional Eating? Emotional eating is often associated with eating as a response to emotions. The emotions could be positive or negative, but in most cases, it happens when your external struggles start affecting your internal dialogue. This leaves you feeling overwhelmed and creates a negative emotional state, and as a consequence of it, you start feeding your emotions. Emotional eating is not about the food, and it is not driven by your physical hunger. It is driven by seeking comfort. The eating habits of an emotional eater are often driven by his or her unfulfilled needs, which are accompanied by the strong emotions of shame, anxiety, sadness, stress, anger, frustration, etc. People often get overwhelmed with these emotions, and they try to control them with food, not always realising that this will only make the situation worse. Maybe you have already noticed that using food to cope with your feelings never provides you with the much-needed comfort that you were seeking. Emotional eating is aimed at pushing negative feelings away in order to feel better, but after eating the food for emotional reasons, you probably notice that you are still feeling dissatisfied. Food can never remove bad feelings or fill the hole inside you. You may feel slightly better for a little while, but it is not a long-term solution. Emotional eating usually involves choosing to eat mainly unhealthy foods, or large quantities of it, in order to feel less lonely or happier, or having more control over your life. Emotional eating is also called comfort eating and is often driven by your stresses, insecurities, fears, and anxieties. After a while, it becomes a habit and the way you live your life. When you feel sad, you reach for a chocolate bar. When you feel lonely, you overeat. Negative feelings can then become triggers that lead to binging or unhealthy eating, without even thinking about it. You simply do it on autopilot. Sometimes eating this way can help, but sometimes it cannot. It can create more problems than you had before. At times it gives you temporary relief and the comfort that you were searching for, but it is always — and I mean always — a short-term solution. It might provide you with a temporary

feeling of pleasure, but when this feeling is gone, you are then left with nothing, so you need another fix. It is important to understand that no amount of food will ever satisfy an emotional eater, because an emotional eater is not physically hungry. An emotional eater does not always eat because of his or her physiological need — the hunger; he or she eats to suffocate feelings that they struggle to deal with. I want to highlight something important here, and that is that we are all emotional eaters at times, and eating this way is nothing to be ashamed of. We all have moments of weakness that we try to control in different ways. Eating certain foods, when we are not feeling hungry, is very much about trying to take control or get rid of certain emotions that are overwhelming us or making us feel bad. In order to start managing our eating behaviours better, it is important to understand that we are in control of our eating and not the other way around. Our eating is not in control of us, unless we allow it to be. When you are eating for any other reason apart from hunger, it does not matter how much food you eat, and it does not matter what you eat; the problem is that no amount of food will ever fill the hole inside you, and no amount of food will ever fully satisfy you. Some people choose alcohol to fill the hole, and others use drugs, but the majority of people choose food. Remember that when you want to eat because you are upset or stressed, the food is probably not what you need at that moment. Think of the most loving thing you can give to yourself when you want food, and make sure you get it. Understanding that there is an alternative to overeating and binging, when you need the comfort, will put the power back into your hands. Food is easily accessible to most people, and it is part of our everyday life. We all need to eat to live; therefore, food is the most common form of abuse, and many people find it hard to resist and control. Even though at first sight it does not seem to be too damaging for us, the food we eat can actually be extremely dangerous for our health and weight, depending on the choices we make.

Cycle of Emotional Eating To overcome emotional eating, you need to identify the triggers. Emotional eating always starts with one or more triggers. These triggers often include positive or negative feelings. Negative feelings are more common, and when we experience them, we try to use food to cope with them. The problem is that the food can never solve emotional problems. Previously, we looked at the diet cycle. Now we are going to look at the cycle of emotional eating, what it is, and how it can affect you: Step 1 of the emotional eating cycle starts with a trigger. It is always caused by one or more triggers. Emotions associated with triggers could be any of the following: rejection, sadness, boredom, frustration, anxiety, emptiness, loneliness, and many more. Whatever the trigger is, it is often an emotion that you struggle with and want to suppress. Step 2 is the need for comfort, and choosing to eat the food you love in order to make yourself feel better. The foods you choose to eat often tends to be unhealthy, high in sugar, and contain lots of salt and trans fats. Some of these foods often include pizzas, chocolates, cakes, and sugary soft drinks. These foods are not only bad for your waistline but could be very damaging to your health as well. Step 3 provokes feelings of relief and finally feeling good. This good feeling does not last long, but it is a solution to your problem when you need it the most. In Step 4, positive feelings leave you. Then you step into the feeling-sorryfor-yourself zone. You are feeling sad or angry at yourself for eating the food you just had. The cycle finishes with experiencing feelings of guilt, blame, and/or disappointment. You regret the way you acted. You are angry at yourself because you ate all those unhealthy foods. You feel upset about your behaviour, and you need some comfort. So, once again, you turn to food, as this creates good feelings for you. And then the cycle repeats itself again. You are back to step 1, then step 2, then 3, then 4, and after completing step 5, you start all over again.

Being stuck in the cycle of emotional eating can lead to binge eating. Binge eating is created by the desire to improve your mood and to feel better, and is associated with uncontrollably eating large quantities of food each time you binge. This can cause physical and psychological discomfort, and can result in feeling unhappy or bad about yourself, and it often causes further binging and more unhappiness. And in order to feel better, you may binge eat again. It is a vicious cycle — feeling bad, then overeating, then feeling bad because of overeating, then binging in order to feel better — and it carries on. Eating because of your emotions is a coping mechanism that is not aimed to remove the physical hunger. It focuses on trying to find a way to make your feelings go away.

Eating Your Emotions How often do you feel very hungry? How often do you feel so hungry that it does not matter what you eat, and you would be happy with it? Not very often, I believe. In this day and age, not many people allow themselves to get too hungry. They tend to eat before they ever get hungry. As I already discussed previously, emotional eating is aimed to suppress the feelings that make you feel bad, vulnerable, or weak in some way. It does not provide a long-lasting comfort, and it is never about the hunger. At times, we are all emotional eaters, and sometimes we eat because we want to, rather than because we feel hungry. I spent most of my life dealing with stress and anxiety by binging on foods, and at other times, I hardly ate because of the feelings of sadness and disappointment. It took me a very, very long time to realise that my eating patterns were the reflection of my emotional state. Eating unhealthy, or in some cases, simply the act of eating, is often caused by the triggers associated with emotional unfulfillment. We all have different ways of dealing with feelings of unfulfillment, but sometimes we respond to it by feeding our emotions and looking for comfort in food, hoping that the emotions will go away with each bite we take. As I already mentioned previously, the comfort that food offers can never completely remove painful feelings, and it can easily turn into binge eating. Binge eating has a short-lived effect on our mood and our feelings, and the benefit of it usually turns into a negative experience after the relief of eating is gone. A chocolate bar can never cure loneliness, and cake cannot permanently remove anxiety. Short-term relief is the best we can hope for. Trying to suppress emotions that bring discomfort, and turning to food instead, will not bring the desired outcome. To make your stress, sadness, anger, anxiety, or frustration go away, you need to explore where they are coming from, and what the cause is, and find ways to deal with them appropriately. When something is present but hidden under the layers, it is far away from your reach, and you may find it too hard to understand its meaning. Finding

the way to understand your emotions will help you create a better connection with yourself. Emotional eating is often driven by the desire to hide, to cover, or to replace the negative feelings that you might be experiencing. As described in the previous section, when stuck in the cycle of emotional eating, feeling guilty, disappointed, ashamed, or angry with yourself is very common. This can then lead to beating yourself up and giving yourself a hard time for not being able to manage your behaviour better. Now we are going to look at how beating yourself up can affect your weight-loss goal, and prevent you from moving forward.

Beating Yourself Up Beating yourself up is not uncommon when it comes to weight loss and emotional eating. Breaking a diet, eating junk food, overindulging on your favourite food, etc. often leads to beating yourself up. It is important to understand that success cannot be achieved through punishment and giving yourself a hard time because of the things you have not achieved. This behaviour will not bring the joy and success you are searching for. You will succeed only when you provide yourself with encouragement and start applying the knowledge obtained from your past experiences, whether they were good or bad. Beating yourself up for not being good at something is not going to bring better results or the answer that you are looking for. It is very likely that it will slow down your progress and knock down your confidence. This will not take you to a better place, or drive you forward, but rather it will pull you backwards and push you to the place where you do not want to be. It is not the end of the world to make a mistake, or in this instance, to eat forbidden food or to overeat, but beating yourself up about it could be harmful to your weight-loss success. And not only will you not succeed in achieving your goal, but your negative reaction towards your behaviour will have a knockdown effect on your confidence and your self-belief. In the previous section, we looked at how going through a cycle of emotional eating can lead to self-destructive behaviours. Understanding your emotions and being gentle towards your needs would be so much more beneficial to your self-esteem and your well-being. Digging a hole under your feet will keep you right at the bottom and will prevent you from reaching the top any time soon. It is always hard to see the top from the bottom or to believe in yourself and feel confident about your achievements, when you put yourself down. Beating yourself up is nothing else but self-blame. This happens when the critical voice in your head, shaped by your own thoughts, and influenced by your negative self-image, convinces you that you are not good enough. It is

important to look at the proof of these thoughts and to explore the effect of your negative self-talk, in order to stop this process from recurring. Instead of beating yourself up and pulling yourself to the opposite direction of where you want to be, I suggest you start listening to yourself to get any chance of achieving your goal. To identify the triggers that are causing you to overeat, binge, or eat unhealthy, it is important to look at different areas of your life, and be honest about the way they affect you. One of the ways to get a better understanding of your emotional eating is to journal your food and your feelings around it. Go to the accompanying book website, www.getsparkleback.com, and use the worksheet called Food and Mood Diary. This is a very simple way to help you look at the way you eat, find out how your mood affects your diet, and know how the food you eat affects your mood. Keeping track of your food, and journaling your mood, will help you see the connection between the food you eat and the way you feel. This may clarify the reasons for your food choices. Having a greater awareness of this can help you make the changes that you want to make.

Identify Your Triggers Identifying your triggers is the first step towards successfully overcoming your emotional eating. Your triggers are the driving force behind your unhealthy eating habits. It has been shown that approximately 75% of eating is caused by emotional eating, and only 25% is down to actual physical hunger. Responding to the emotions, whether it is by overeating, unhealthy eating, or starving, is called emotional eating. By now, you have learned that emotional eating is often caused by the feelings of sadness, grief, frustration, stress, anger, anxiety, etc., but on rare occasions, and with very few people, it can even be triggered by happy feelings. Whenever your way of eating is forced by the way you feel, it is called emotional eating. It is important to mention that emotional eating can be associated with undereating and overeating. Stress, anxiety or sadness can make you eat more — or not at all. It is important to identify what triggers your emotions and how you respond to them. This will help you to make the necessary changes to prevent your emotional eating habits from recurring. To gain your power back, it is important to understand why you allow food to take your power away from you. Explore this by asking yourself the following questions: Which emotions are the most likely to cause you to overeat or eat the foods that make you feel bad afterwards? Are these emotions interfering with your quality of life? Do you feel bad about yourself after eating the food when you experience one of these emotions? Which situations are most likely to trigger these emotions? (Be specific: place, time of the day, activity, etc.) Do these emotions make you eat uncontrollably, and which foods are you most likely to eat when you experience these emotions?

What would happen if you choose not to eat when you experience these emotions? It is important to understand that when it comes to emotional eating, the food is not an issue. It is never about the food. The food is just a relief mechanism — like alcohol to alcoholics, or drugs to drug users, or tobacco to smokers. The problem with food is that it is so easily accessible, and in addition to that, we cannot live without food. We cannot go cold turkey with food, like we can with drugs, cigarettes, or alcohol. Therefore, it is even more important to identify what is causing the binging or overeating, and what emotions this creates within you, so you can fully understand why you are doing it, and find ways to prevent it from happening. Once I became aware that my eating and my feelings were strongly connected, I started to pay attention to the triggers. It became clear to me that food was not the problem; the triggers were the problem for my binging. If you have a habit of grabbing a chocolate bar every time you feel stressed, or you tend to overeat every time you feel bored or lonely, then you need to look at ways to reduce your stress levels, or find ways to make your life more fulfilling, so you do not have a need to turn to food every time you experience certain emotions. You must explore the cause of your emotional eating, and only then will you be able to tackle the issues that you have with food. Lots of people make the mistake of focusing on the food first, and they stop eating certain foods or restrict the amount of calories they eat, rather than looking at the causes of overeating and binging. Not looking at the root of the problem, and focusing only on the surface, will not solve the issues you have. Understanding what your needs are, and recognising which needs have not been met, is likely to help you identify the cause of your problem. Allowing yourself to take care of your needs could be the key to your success. When you feel like giving up on yourself, and feel your worst, instead of finding your critical voice and beating yourself up, I would like you to think of the most loving thing you can say to yourself.

In the next section, we are going to explore the importance of recognising your needs.

Recognise What You Need What is it that you want, why do you want it, and how important is it for you to have it? These are important questions to ask yourself in order to get a clear understanding of where you are right now, where you want to be, and what it means to you to get there. Learning what you need will show you what your next step is going to be. In the past, I often struggled with recognising my needs. They always used to be jumbled up with someone else’s needs, and this often left me feeling confused. It made me feel lost too. I often work with women who put the needs of other people first. Eventually, if there is some time or space left to pay attention to their own needs, only then will they start taking care of themselves. Are you one of those women who has everybody else’s needs higher on the priority list? Your love for others, and all the efforts that you put towards meeting other people’s needs, can sabotage your relationship with yourself. It is important to understand that when your physical, emotional, and psychological needs are not met, then you are not 100% available to others, nor to yourself. Being over-involved in meeting the demands of others does not leave much space for meeting your own needs. Recognising your needs and identifying which ones are important, and why, as well as how to meet them, will make you feel more fulfilled and give you an opportunity to be in touch with your core self. A feeling of fulfilment creates connection. Unfulfillment can bring emptiness and affect you deeply. Everything in our lives is interconnected, and one area has an impact on another. It is your responsibility to recognise which areas of your life need improving, and how to give attention to the areas that may be suffering. In order to understand where your emotional eating is coming from, you need to have a better understanding towards your needs, and accept that feelings of disappointment, sadness, anxiety, anger, or stress are simply parts of your everyday life, and not the reason to feel guilty about your inability to be in full control of them.

Recognising what you need plays an important role in determining which direction your life is going to take. Listening to your needs and acting appropriately can give you meaning and satisfaction. It can also help you find your purpose, which will result in making you feel more complete. Some people do not give themselves permission to pay close attention to their needs, and by doing so, they may feel confused about what they need and what they want/desire. What you need may not necessarily be what you want, and what you want may not always be what you need. For example, your body needs healthy and nourishing food, but you want to eat junk food; your body needs regular exercise, but you want to lead a sedentary lifestyle; or you need to work long hours in order to earn a living, but your desire is to be a stay-at-home mum. It is important to recognise the connection between your needs and wants, as well as be aware of the distance between them, so you can start working on creating the balance and narrow the gap between the wants and the needs. To overcome your emotional eating, it is important to listen to what you need and what you want, and to understand the reasons behind it. Emotional eating is not about needing the food, but wanting it. It is not even about enjoying the food, but finding the comfort in eating it. Your needs, wants, and goals are designed to work in partnership. When they are not in balance, you search for comfort. When you find the comfort in food, you feel good, but shortly after, you feel bad about it. Your behaviour is simply the response of your emotional state. The more balanced you feel, the more balanced your life is going to be.

Chapter 3 Your Vision, Goals, and Why “Success is about dedication. You may not be where you want to be or do what you want to do when you are on the journey. But you have got to be willing to have vision and foresight that lead you to an incredible end.” Usher

Have a Clear Vision If your vision is not 100% clear, then you will not be 100% certain what you need to do. Without having a clear vision, you will not be able to create clear action steps; therefore, you will not be doing what you need to do in order to achieve your goals. Many times in my life, I thought I knew where I was going, but my vision was not clear. Even though I worked very hard in trying to achieve my goals, I was going nowhere, as I was not sure which direction to take. There was no clarity about where exactly I wanted to be; therefore, I was not sure what exactly I had to do. Only by having a clear vision will you create clear goals, which will take you to your destination. If your vision is to have a slim and healthy body, I suggest you write down how much weight you want to lose, and how this can benefit your life. The more precise you are about it, the easier it will be to see it. There is a big difference between losing 5 kg because you want to look good on holiday, versus losing 25 kg because you want to be healthy and prevent developing health conditions linked to obesity. They are both achievable, but different approaches have to be taken, which require a different set of tools and a different type of discipline. Clear vision will open the door to your future. Vague vision is being unsure about the name of your destination. I suggest you think of your vision in the present moment, and use words in the present tense, such as I am, I feel, I am doing. So instead of saying, “I want to be at an ideal weight,” say, “I am at an ideal weight.” Instead of saying, “I will be fit, and one day I will be able to run around with my kids or grandkids,” say, “I am fit, and I am able to run around with my kids or grandkids.” This type of language will bring your vision closer and within your reach. Vision is a picture in your mind created by your desire. For the vision to become real, you need to have a plan. This plan needs to include a series of

goals, and together they will take you to your desired destination. If your plan is made up of goals that do not support your vision, then your vision will only stay in your mind and will never become real. The best way to visualise your future is to ask yourself how you see your life, your weight, or your health, in 3, 6, or 12 months from now. Visualise your answers, and write them down. Be specific and be clear. Now, ask yourself the following question: “How will my life improve by achieving this?” Visualise it. Think of all the benefits, all the good things that you will experience by achieving what you want. Write down as many answers as you can. Only after having a clear vision will you be able to set clear goals. Your goals and your vision have to be in alignment in order for you to stay motivated all the way through. Think of it this way: Your goals are the vehicles that will take you to your destination, and you will need to jump from one vehicle to another to get there, but your vision is the road-map that shows you the way. Let me give you an example: If your vision is to be slim and healthy in 12 months, then you need to set up numerous small goals to get there. Your main goal is to lose weight, but in order to lose weight, you need to create many small goals every day, such as doing regular exercise, eating healthy meals, drinking plenty of water, limiting drinking alcohol, etc. Your vision leads the way to your destination, and will often require you to achieve a number of goals, big and small, so you can successfully arrive there. While you are on this journey, it is important to ask yourself why you want what you want. For instance, why do you want to be slim and healthy? Why does this matter to you? It is always a good idea to write things down. Written words are always more powerful. They enable us to be more focused. So, get a piece of paper and write down why it is important to you to achieve your weight loss goal. Keep the paper with your answer somewhere safe as you may want to go back to it at a later stage.

In the next section, we are going to look at your why. Without knowing your why, your vision will not have a purpose. And without a purpose, you will not succeed.

What Is Your Why? Your why is your reason and your drive. It is your goal, your wish, and your desire. It is your purpose. Without a purpose, your goal will not have meaning. Without a purpose, you will not have motivation. Without motivation, you will not take action. And without taking action, you will never get what you want. All these elements together connect you to your vision, provide you with the meaning, and give you the reason why you do what you do. Your why gives you the answers and motivation to accomplish the goals that you set up to reach. Your why keeps you on track even when you have lost your way. And when you find it hard to keep going, and you feel too overwhelmed, and you experience struggle, your why will keep it together for you and push you forward. Your why will always be able to show you the way. It will move you forward, carry you, and light a torch when you are stuck in the dark. And when you feel low or you fail, and when life knocks you down, your why will be your guide. You can always count on it. I would like to tell you now about my reason why I decided to write this book. This book did not just happen. I got motivated, and I got inspired, and that is how it all started. At the end of last year, I was running a free weight-loss trial, and one of the criteria for the participants to get accepted was to answer in their own words why it was important to them to be part of this trial. Many people showed their interest and responded to the question, but one of the replies caught my eye. A lady called Kerry responded and she said, “I am about 5 stone overweight and have tried lots of diets. Some worked and others I could not stick to. I am 50 next year, and I feel like I have lost my sparkle. I would like to get it back for my milestone birthday.” I read it again and then read it once more, and then I knew I had to respond to this. I started to write my reply, but very quickly, I wrote over 1,000 words. After I wrote about 5,000 words, I realised that I was writing a book. When I initially started to answer Kerry’s message, it was not my intention

to do this, but I soon realised that I was responding to all the ladies who had lost their sparkle, and I could not stop writing. Then I wrote some more. Then I wrote 10,000 words, then 20,000 words. And I knew I had to carry on writing until I finished the book, as I was not writing only for Kerry but for all women who felt lost, unsure, and confused, and wanted to find themselves again. What does it mean to me to help women get their sparkle back? The answer is simple: I love what I do, and I find it extremely rewarding helping women achieve their goals, and to introduce them to the tools that could help them live their lives the way they want. I love helping them reach their potential and supporting them in learning to take better care of their own bodies. I spent many years of my life not taking great care of myself and my body. It feels great to be on the other side now and feel fulfilled in that area of my life. This is where I would like all women to be. I feel privileged to be able to offer them my support and to accompany them on their road of selfdiscovery. On this journey, women do not only lose weight, they also develop a better understanding of their needs, and they get clarity on what they want and why. Once the understanding is developed, the change is inevitable. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Kerry for the inspiration that she gave me to write this book, and I want to offer support to all women who, like her, tried many diets, lost some weight, gained it back, and now look for a healthy weight loss and sustainable diet, in addition to forming healthy lifestyle habits and better communication with themselves. Thank you, Kerry, and I hope you found your sparkle. This is my WHY. What is yours? Do you feel motivated by your why? Do you feel inspired by your reasons? Here are two questions that I want you to answer: 1. What will you gain from losing weight? 2. What will you gain if you stayed the same?

You will find your reason, and your why, in the answers to these two questions. Some people want to lose weight to improve their energy levels, while others want to do it because of the way they feel about their physical appearance. Other people want to do it because of health reasons; they are concerned about their future, and worry about what might happen if they do not lose weight. There are many different reasons for weight loss, but you need to know yours. If you want to change something in your life, and I mean anything, think of why you want it/need it. Knowing your why is what keeps you going. It is what keeps you moving forward and drives you towards the right direction. If you do not know why you are doing it, you may find your life’s distractions taking you off the right path, and before you know it, you will give up and go back to your old habits. When you lose touch with your why, you will lose touch with your vision, and you will not reach your goals. Someone once said, “If your why does not make you cry, that is not your why.” So, my advice to you is this: Take a deep breath, find your why, connect to it, visualise it... and believe that you can do it. You know what? I believe in you too. Think of why it is important to you to lose weight. If you have not done it already, write it down this time. When you write things down, the words you say to yourself become more powerful and real, and they have stronger meanings. They give you focus and help you make plans. They make you feel ready and create need for taking action.

Readiness to Change Where weight loss is concerned, you are required to make some changes, whether it is a change with your diet, lifestyle, or both. If you change nothing, nothing is ever going to change. One of the first mistakes that most people make when deciding to lose weight is that they try to change their behaviour before they change their mindset. Why this cannot work is very simple: You cannot change your behaviour while you are still the same person who put yourself in the situation you are in. Your self-sabotaging behaviour will pull you straight back as soon as you face the first hurdle. You need to start changing your mindset before you start taking action; otherwise you will not succeed. For the majority of people, the problem does not lie in starting but in continuing with the diet. What happens with most people is that in the initial stages of their weight loss-journey — and this is usually in the first few days or weeks — they rely heavily on willpower. Relying solely on willpower will not work long term. Where weight loss is concerned, the willpower is short lived, and it often vanishes after a few days. Many people believe willpower is what they need in order to lose weight. In my opinion, willpower is what helps you get started, but it is not what keeps you going. If there is a battle between chocolate and willpower, chocolate is always going to win — there is no doubt about that. Think about this — how many times have you started a diet on Monday? You got all fired up to lose as much weight as you possibly could within the first week, but then you gave up by Tuesday afternoon. Your willpower cannot handle the challenges you are faced with. This puts a stop to your weight-loss journey. It is all over, and you just started yesterday. This is where your vision and your why join together and play such an important role. Together, they make you want to lose weight and make you stick to it. Without them, your reason for weight loss is not very strong, and you can easily fail. Your vision determines where you want to be, but in order to get there, many goals have to be accomplished first. When looking at your vision and

planning your goals, I advise you to focus on each of your goals separately and explore how ready you are to take them on. If your readiness to change certain areas of your life is very low, then you will simply refuse to take action. Let me give you an example. Let’s use the same example as we did in the previous section, which is to be slim and healthy. Also, let’s presume that you need to lose quite a lot of weight, which means that in order to achieve this, there are many goals that you need to accomplish. Some of the goals might be getting up early in the morning to do some exercise before work, or drinking eight glasses of water a day, but your readiness to change when it comes to getting up early in the morning and doing some exercise before work might be very low. You may ask now, what do I do in this situation? My answer to your question is this — you start working on the habits that you are ready to change, and on the tasks that you are ready to complete. At the moment, you might be only ready to increase your daily water intake, which is fine, but when this new behaviour becomes a habit, and you feel comfortable with it, then you build on it by starting to work on something you find more difficult to tackle, such as having vegetables with your evening meals, for instance, or maybe reducing alcohol consumption to only a few glasses per week. Readiness to change is about being ready to do something, rather than being forced to do it or believing you should or ought to do it. Weight loss is one of those challenges that many people have a desire to achieve, but the majority of people struggle with it. The struggle is often caused by trying to make too many changes too soon, and then the feeling of overwhelm brings lack of commitment and loss of motivation. When taking on a new challenge, it is important to be honest with yourself about your readiness to work on it. Your level of readiness will affect your actions. If you are not ready, you will not be fully committed, and this will affect your result. Focus only on the tasks you are ready to change; otherwise, you will spread your energy in so many different places, and you will struggle to manage them.

Remember, you did not develop your bad habits and gain the excess weight in one day. It took you months, years, and maybe even decades to get to this point. It can take time to break your bad habits too. How quickly it is going to happen will depend on your readiness to change and on your desire to achieve what you want.

Mind Mapping The health and wellness mind mapping is a thinking tool that can help us map out our thoughts. It reflects what is going on inside our minds and gives us clarity about our goals, plans, and intentions. It is looking at our visions and helping us to express ourselves creatively. Mind mapping can be a very powerful method to use, and it can help us better understand the process happening inside our brain by giving us the visual representation of the information held in the brain. It is a useful tool that can help us wherever we are on our weight-loss journey, to explore what we need to do, what actions to take, and what support to seek. In your guidebook, in the accompanying book website, www.getsparkleback.com, you will find the worksheet called Mind Mapping. It will ask you to write down your thoughts and ideas about your future. This will help you to analyse what you need to do next and how you will do it. I advise you to spend some time working on it, and feel free to add questions specific to your goals, as that will help you explore a wider area of your brain. By identifying what you want, why, how, and what challenges you are likely to face on the way, you are searching for possible ways to accomplish your goals. When you are completing this task, be creative and think freely. Write whatever comes into your mind and let the brain do the talking. This will help you explore different ways of getting closer to where you want to be. You will certainly gain more clarity. Mind mapping helps you identify how to reach your goals by asking you questions and showing you the relationship between the following: Desire – what you want Reason – why you want it Actions – what you will do next

Support – what support you need on the way to your goal Barriers – what might stop you from reaching your goal Skill/knowledge – how you will do it, what tools you will use Mind mapping is designed to help you look at your wellness vision and find out how you can put different parts together in a structured format. It will help you visualise your ideas and connect them together in one piece. This will give you clarity on what step to take after each action step. In this exercise, you are focusing specifically on your health and wellness goals, but you can use mind mapping to plan any area of your life. Now we are going to explore the benefits of making your goals S.M.A.R.T. It is so much easier to reach your destination when you have a well-defined goal. Let’s explore this further in the following section and find out how S.M.A.R.T. goals can help you achieve what you want.

Make Your Goals S.M.A.R.T. People often set goals they want to achieve. They talk about their dreams, discuss their wishes with family and friends, and they share their desires with people around them. But many wishes and desires often remain just dreams and nothing other than that. Your dreams need to have a plan so they can turn into goals. Only then can they become reality. Without a plan, you will not achieve your dreams. Without a plan, you will not know what action steps to take. Setting goals for weight loss is important, but they need to be achievable and enjoyable to reach. Otherwise, you could be setting yourself up to fail. For you to reach your goals, I suggest you make your goals S.M.A.R.T. S.M.A.R.T. goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and timebound. If any of these categories is missing, then your goal setting will be lacking structure, and you may get lost on the way to your destination. Let’s look at how you can apply the S.M.A.R.T. goals principle when planning your weight-loss journey. S.M.A.R.T. goals can be a very useful guide on your weight loss journey, and if you want to take your weight loss seriously, I suggest you make a plan and use the rules of the S.M.A.R.T. goals. Without a plan, you may take the wrong action, or you may not take any action at all. When there is no plan, people tend to rely on willpower. As I already mentioned, the problem with willpower is that it reduces over time, and eventually you are left with nothing. How do you make your weight-loss goals S.M.A.R.T.? Make your goals Specific: Decide exactly what you want, and be clear and precise. Do you want to lose weight? If so, how much: 5 kg or 30 kg? They require different levels of motivation; therefore, it is important to establish exactly what it is you want. Break your goal into small steps. You will feel less overwhelmed, and you will find it easier to complete your actions. Here are some examples that

you may use on your weight loss journey: Do minimum 10,000 steps a day. Eat your last meal of the day before 6 p.m. Do 30 minutes of exercise four times per week, in the first hour after waking up. Eat at least five portions of vegetables and two portions of fruit every day. These are just a few ideas that you can apply in your everyday life. Can you think of some more? Write them down. Make your goals Measurable: Decide how you will measure your success. Will the number on the scale be the only indicator of your achievement? Maybe body measurements would be a better idea? Would using a weightloss app help you? How about using a device that can count your steps? Make your goals Achievable: Think of how achievable your goals are. Is it possible to achieve them? Are your goals realistic? If your goals are out of your reach, then it is very likely you will give up before you even start. Think about this — is it more achievable for you to lose 10 kg in two months, or 10 kg in a week? If you have not done any exercise for a while, is it more achievable for you to get fit by starting walking 10 minutes a day, or by starting running one hour every day? What sounds more achievable to you? Are there any barriers in the way? Can these barriers stop you from achieving your goals? Can they prevent you from losing weight? Make your goals Relevant: Your goals have to be relevant. If your goals are not supporting your vision, then you will most likely lose motivation and give in as soon as you hit the first hurdle. For instance, you may not see the link between poor sleep and obesity, but there were many studies done on this subject, and they proved that having a lack of sleep can cause obesity. Therefore, having a goal of going to bed earlier is relevant to your vision of being slim and healthy. For this reason it is important for you to go to bed earlier as it will help you have more sleep. So, by following an established bedtime routine, will result into losing weight.

Make your goals Time-bound: Your goals must be time-bound. Break your big goal into many small goals, and set a date when you want them to be achieved by. It is much easier to commit to daily or weekly goals rather than one big goal that you may not achieve for another few months or even years. For instance, it is much better to focus on losing 1 kg a week, rather than losing 20 kg in 20 weeks. Losing 1 kg a week will help you to lose 20 kg in 20 weeks, but focusing on achieving small goals and taking tiny steps will not overwhelm you too much, therefore, you will be more motivated to carry on. It is important to clarify something; you are not in control of how much weight you are going to lose over a period of three months, twelve months, or two years. You are only in control of how much effort you are going to put into changing your bad daily habits and developing healthy habits. I also suggest you not put all your efforts solely on your weight loss, as the numbers on the scale will not necessarily promote your health and encourage you to live healthy lifestyle. Your focus has to be pointed towards your efforts and positive changes that you continuously make. As a consequence of developing new healthy habits, you will experience changes in your weight. Big goals are made of many small goals that you developed over a long period of time. My advice to you is to decide on small goals that you want to achieve today or this week, and make an effort to achieve them. Your goals might include the following: eating a healthy breakfast every morning, drinking at least eight glasses of water a day, going to bed before 10 p.m. most nights, etc. Every new goal you achieve will help you towards creating a new habit. Developing a new habit every week will bring you 52 new habits this time next year. It is important to think of the bigger picture while focusing on your everyday goals. The bigger picture includes looking at many areas of your life. No area should be ignored when planning your weight-loss journey. Each area of your life is equally important and has an impact on all other areas. Let’s explore this further in the next section.

Bigger Picture When trying to lose weight, it is not only essential to look at the physical changes of your body and physical challenges that you are faced with, but to look at the mental and emotional challenges too. It is necessary to pay attention to the bigger picture. Taking a holistic perspective, we are looking at the connection between the mind, body, and spirit. In order to have a healthy body and a healthy mind, it is crucial for each of these parts to be in agreement with one another. Only then can we progress, grow, and flourish. Physical health Obesity and weight gain are connected to many health issues, such as diabetes type 2, cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, stroke, and many others. We should not forget that being obese or overweight can affect our quality of life in many ways. If your weight is creeping up, and your health is suffering as a consequence of it; not only your physical health, but your emotional state and frame of mind will also be affected. It is important to look at your body and your physical health as a part of a big system, where all parts are united. If you are struggling with one area of your life, then other areas will be suffering too. If you are experiencing problems with your physical health, then your career, relationships, mental health, and other parts of your life and well-being will not reach their full potential. Spiritual health Your inner health is where your peace, meaning, and life-purpose are created. None of these important aspects of your life live outside of you. They were born within you, and are composed and managed by your beliefs, inner strength, and life values. You can see now how everything works together, and how one broken part can easily affect all other elements. Your spiritual health affects your behaviour on many levels and has a strong impact on your self-acceptance. Probably the most important aspect of your spiritual health is knowing that you are important. And despite what is

going on around you, your inner health is where you find your inner self. That is the place where you were born, where you connect and learn about yourself more than in any other area of your life and your being. Mental health The brain requires adequate nutrients to be healthy and to function properly. When the body is fed the wrong nutrients, it could cause us to develop symptoms related to depression, anxiety, hyperactivity, and hormonal imbalances. Hormonal imbalances can lead us to experience brain fog, tiredness, weight loss or weight gain, sleep disturbances, and more. The brain also needs regular physical exercise and good quality sleep. If we do not give our brain what it needs, our emotions, behaviours, and perceptions will be affected. Having meaningful relationships with others also benefits our mental health, and it has a positive impact on our happiness and a healthy life. Most diets will work if you decide to follow them, but many diets are only a short-term solution. The main focus of most diets is on food. Whether it is eating smaller portions, eating less carbohydrates, eating less calories, or eating more protein, the attention is nearly always placed only on the food. Very rarely do we find a diet that is looking at the broader picture, and is encouraging people to make sure that they go to bed earlier, work on reducing their stress levels, have a healthy morning and bed-time routine, or simply do more of what they love doing so they can feel more excited about life and be happier. Weight loss is about nurturing all areas of your life and all parts of your body, so you can create a healthy relationship between your body and your mind. The key is to pay attention to all areas equally. Diet should never be looked at in isolation. It has to be a part of the bigger picture. Let’s look at this example: Vegetarians call themselves vegetarians. What this means is that they adopted their eating habits as a part of their identity. They are vegetarians, which means that this is who they are. It is not only about not eating meat. It is their lifestyle. The reason for becoming vegetarian could be because of health reasons, or religion, or upbringing, or some personal beliefs. Whatever the reason is,

being vegetarian is who the person is. We do not question it; we take it for granted. I think this gives you an idea of how your diet can have an impact on your identity as well, and not only on your health or weight. Therefore, where the weight loss is concerned, it is important to look at the broader picture and to understand the connection between what you feel, who you are, and what you do. If you want to lose weight, you need to develop a new lifestyle, new beliefs, and new behaviours. Understanding the bigger picture will put you on a path towards better health, a slimmer body, and a happier life, and will help you create a more loving relationship with yourself, and develop a better relationship with the food you eat. Having better communication between different parts of your life and yourself will take you to the path where you will find your weightloss journey more manageable and easier to follow.

Chapter 4 What Does Love Have to Do with It? “Self-love has very little to do with how you feel about your outer self. It is about accepting all of yourself.” Tyra Banks

Self-Love Through my work, I have met many people who have developed low selfesteem and a low opinion of themselves. Some people see themselves as being ugly, big, unhealthy, unattractive, not good enough, etc. If your desire to change starts from a place of love, you will be positive about creating new habits and new changes. If you start your change from a place of embarrassment, blame, or shame, then you will experience internal conflict, and the journey towards your goal will most likely be a negative experience, despite the success of the outcome. Love yourself first is my advice. When you love yourself, it is much easier to change your bad habits and give yourself what you need without feeling guilty about it. Are you someone who does not like yourself very much, and believes that other people are better than you? Or someone who feels bitter about the way your life turned out, or feels ashamed of yourself, or embarrassed about your body, or disappointed about the way you look, or uncomfortable about being inside your own skin? Feeling ashamed, embarrassed, or disappointed can take your power away. This will not inspire or motivate you; it will crash your soul and not allow you to see options available to you. My advice is to be less self-blaming and more self-giving; do less selfcriticising, and include more self-praise. Do not try to fix yourself; be kinder to yourself. You may be asking where to look for self-love. Self-love starts from within. Some people look for it on the outside, but that is not the place where you will find it. It can only be found inside. That is where the love is created. We all need love, whether it is coming from parents, friends, children, or a lover. For children, it is a foundation for healthy development and growth. And for us adults, it gives a feeling of belonging.

Many people spend lots of time searching for it, but not many people focus on loving themselves first. We seek validation, but many people do not know how to validate themselves. We need others to believe in us, but we struggle with our own self-beliefs, and we doubt our own abilities. We crave acceptance and appreciation, but we often feel that we need to fix ourselves and become someone we are not. We search for all these things in the wrong places. None of them can be found on the outside, and none of them can be seen with the naked eye or touched with bare hands, but we constantly keep searching for them, hoping to find them in other people or things we possess. Self-love often comes up as a topic when working with my female clients, and I keep hearing the following words over and over again: “I do not even like myself, never mind love myself,” or “Other people are better than me.” This type of language is not doing anyone any favours, and it will definitely not take you where you want to be. It will not motivate you or bring you joy. Self-love is not a one-day event. It is something that has to be applied to your life every day and all day. I want you to understand that self-love is not about being selfish and focusing only on your own needs. It is about understanding your own worth. Self-love is like a plant. You need to take good care of it; otherwise, it will die. Nobody can take care of it but you, and it is only you who needs to make sure that the plant has enough water, sun, and care. If you do not look after yourself, with love, it will be very hard for you to establish a healthy and positive relationship with yourself and people around you. Whether you struggle with self-love or not, I would like to suggest you get into the habit of expressing gratitude, and I suggest you do it every day. Expressing gratitude will help you focus on the positives, raise your energy levels, and increase happiness. This can create new possibilities for you.

Express Gratitude Most people expect others to give them what they need. Expressing gratitude is about giving yourself what you need. It is also about recognising and acknowledging that what you have matters to you. It could be argued that who we are today is simply a collection of our experiences and beliefs about people we have met, things we own, people we love, things we do... Every aspect I have mentioned is important, as it helps us to experience positive emotions. And being grateful for these things is necessary. How often do you give yourself permission to appreciate your life and everything in it? This is often a habit that many people ignore, but it is probably one of the top five most important habits we should all implement in our everyday lives, and appreciate the greatness of it. Acknowledging what you have is important, and it is the first step to becoming satisfied and fulfilled with your life. Learning to express gratitude for the things you have can help you be much kinder to yourself, and it will encourage you to appreciate what you have. This will make your life more meaningful and will help you improve the relationship you have with yourself, as well as with other people. Some people often feel they need to prove themselves to others in order to be accepted. Expressing gratitude and feeling fully grateful for the things you have will teach you that there is no need to prove yourself to anyone for the sake of acceptance. Gratitude moves you closer to your heart, and creates feelings of pleasure, happiness, and joy, where you accept yourself fully. I suggest you be kind to yourself and start each day with gratitude. Also, finish each day with gratitude. This will take away any feelings of anger, frustration, loneliness, disappointment, and shame. Negative feelings can disempower you, while gratitude will empower you. If you cannot see anything good in your life, then there is a probability that you are stuck in your old story, which tells you that you are not worth it, and that you are not good enough.

My advice is to learn to be grateful for all the good and bad in your life. Acknowledge it. Accept it. Celebrate it. Appreciating both good and bad is necessary. Everything, whether you perceive it as being good or bad, enters your life for a reason, and you become who you are because of that reason. Maybe you are wondering what gratitude has to do with weight loss. It may seem like there is no connection at all, but everything we do in life has to do with everything else. When expressing gratitude, all your senses are open. When your senses are open, you feel you are enough. What happens when we are enough? We experience feelings of belonging, and we feel settled. We matter. We feel empowered. We do not look for comfort from the outside. We recognise our own worth. And by using our personal power and strength, we are able to give ourselves what we need and want. Expressing gratitude often helps us recognise that what we have is enough. The busyness of our everyday lives often takes this recognition away from us. For that reason, I would like you to give yourself just a few minutes a day — every morning and every evening — and during this time express gratitude and acknowledge your successes, however small they are. No success is too small.

Self-Rewards It is important to look at self-rewards when trying to lose weight. Getting yourself to a healthy weight is a reward in its own right, of course. You not only end up with more physical energy, but your whole outlook is likely to become more positive, giving you far greater enjoyment of life than when you were overweight. However, the journey to your ideal weight can be punishing, and it is easy to get distracted. There are various ways to counter this, but one of the most effective is to reward yourself with treats. It is not a type of treat that you are thinking of. Plenty of research has been carried out showing that, regardless of what we are trying to do, humans achieve more with rewards than without them. This is because rewards affect our state of mind and our positivity. Subjects who were allowed a very small reward after completing a stage of a task (such as watching an amusing video), performed better than those who were not. In general, they tended to feel cared for and had more energy, whereas those who had to go consistently without rewards lost energy and felt lethargic and resentful. Energy and a positive mind frame not only produce more determination to complete the task, but also seem to give us more self-control. And if there is one thing you need for losing weight, it is self-control. Rewards could be a great motivator if done correctly, but unfortunately, self-rewarding for losing weight comes with an inbuilt problem. Many people reward themselves with food or alcohol — the last things you need to celebrate your weight loss. Many people experience their lives as being too stressful, too demanding, not fulfilling, too chaotic, or too busy. And when they get home in the evening, after spending a long and stressful day at work, it is their time — time to take care of themselves. The problem is that people often associate food with self-care. Successfully managing to get through the long and busy day is not always easy, and many people choose to reward themselves with unhealthy food options.

This can create feel-good emotions, and temporarily fix the problems you experience, but in the long run, it can be quite damaging. This behaviour of overeating, binging, or choosing unhealthy foods is not only bad for your confidence and self-esteem, but it can cause weight gain, bad health, low energy levels, and other problems that can negatively impact your life and well-being. However, it is not difficult to find alternatives and choose rewards that can enlighten you, improve your life and health, and lift your spirit. Find something that can benefit your body and put a smile on your face. Examples might range from enjoying a massage to going to a music gig, but there are also others that are simpler — and free. Going for a walk in nature can be a reward, or luxuriating in a bubble bath. Or you could celebrate your achievement by taking a selfie of your new figure, or sitting in the park on a sunny day and reading a book without any distractions. You know better than anyone what would make the most effective rewards for you. Use your inside knowledge of yourself. Choosing rewards that involve self-care will help you to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself. It will remind you that your needs are important too, and that you should be your own priority. Your rewards need to be structured, or they simply become nonspecific treats that are not tied into achievement. They work best when you know precisely what you are rewarding yourself for. You could simply link rewards to weight-loss landmarks, such as giving yourself a small treat for each pound/kilogram lost, and a larger one when losing more weight. Or you could create a running score of small achievements (sticking to drinking eight glasses of water a day, for instance, or doing a minimum of 10,000 steps a day), and give yourself a reward when you reach a specific score. Whatever you choose your reward to be, make it meaningful to you, and make sure that it makes you feel good about yourself. Self-rewards are important, as they are part of your self-care. Make sure you choose rewards carefully and show yourself that you matter.

Your Core Values We all have a set of values. Our core values control our decisions, behaviours, and beliefs. They are the foundation for our lives, and the basis of what is important to us. Our personal values can change, and you may find some things you used to value in the past are less important, due to your life circumstances being different now. To have a clear vision, your values and your goals have to be in alignment; otherwise, you may lose direction. Your core values determine what you respect, wish for, and want for yourself. They can tell you what you want to achieve the most, as well as what you want to avoid the most. Studies suggest that when we connect to our values and purpose, then we are more likely to achieve our goals. Also, they will happen quicker. Knowing what your core values are will enable you to think of your weightloss programme as something that will make you more yourself, rather than something you should or ought to do, which makes it particularly easier to keep up with after achieving your target weight. It would be difficult to achieve healthy, sustainable weight loss without it being tied into your core values. Understanding your core values, and allowing them to motivate whatever you do, is vital to success in anything — including weight loss. Depending on which core values you value the most, they can have a profound effect on your success at losing weight, and even more crucially, at keeping it off. The first step is to identify your core values. To help you with this exercise, go to the accompanying book website, www.getsparkleback.com. In the guidebook, I included the worksheet called Your Core Values. This list of values will help you identify what is really important to you. But before you do this, I would like you to think of your own core values, and write them down. Then go to the worksheet to check if you missed any value that is important to you. Your core values guide your life, so when looking at the list, you will be able to connect easily to the words representing your core values. You will have a strong

and instant connection with words that give you meaning. The best way of doing this exercise is to do the following: List 10–15 values that you consider important. (You can use the worksheet, Your Core Values, to help you with this.) Choose your five most important core values from your list. Place them in order of importance. Identify what lies at the heart of each one of your values. List what aspects of losing weight will promote each of these values. Understanding your core values will help you understand your life better, and why you do what you do. It is important to be aware that some of your core values could be influenced by other people’s core values. And some of your core values may be adopted from your parents, friends, partner, work colleagues, or the society you live in. Now, go back to your list of the five most important core values. I want you to look at them and try to recognise which ones belong to you, and which ones may belong to someone else. When people live their lives according to someone else’s values, then their own values get suppressed, and when their core values do not support their vision and their direction in life, it creates internal tension and a feeling of unfulfillment. To live according to your values and to experience more fulfilment in your life, it is sometimes necessary to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. When you are on your weight-loss journey, you are often forced to step outside of your comfort zone and to step into the zone that may feel uncomfortable at times — you will often be asked to do things that are not part of your daily routine. As discussed in the earlier sections of this book, weight loss is about making change. Only by making change will you get what you want. If you carry on with the same behaviours, doing the same things that you always did, no change is going to happen. Only change can create change. And only you can make it happen.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone I used to feel comfortable living life in the comfort zone, until it started to feel uncomfortable. When you live in the comfort zone, things always stay the same — nothing ever changes. Pushing yourself outside of it creates new life, new challenges, new opportunities, and you find new meaning. Think about this: As a child, were you feeling comfortable starting school? I am sure it did not feel pleasant at the time. As a young adult, were you feeling comfortable getting into the car with your driving instructor for the first time and driving a car? I am sure it was well out of your comfort zone — was it not? But you did it! Imagine how your life would have turned out if you never went to school or you never learned to drive a car. And then you became an adult. I wonder what happened then. Do you ever ask yourself why you changed? Many adults spend most of their adult lives living in their little bubbles, not knowing what is outside of them, and not even showing any interest in finding out. Imagine what your life would be like if you stepped outside of your little bubble every now and then. Think of all the opportunities you might find there. Opportunity is what gives spice to your life. Stagnation is what kills your spirit. Now, the choice is yours! You are in control of what is happening to you. You are in the driver’s seat. If you are feeling that you are not in control of your life, I wonder who is, or what? If you and I are on the same page, don’t you think it is time to take action, to step outside of your comfort zone and take control, to make a change, and create a difference? And remember to be yourself while doing this, because you are you; you are different, and

you are unique. Is it not a wonderful thing to be this way? So, what is stopping you? And when you get to the other side, you will see that it is not that scary; it is just a little bit different, that is all... and it will stay that way until it becomes familiar. It is all about taking small steps and making little changes... and one day, the novelty will desist, and it will become a comfortable part of your life. So, what I would like you to do now is this: Get out of your comfort zone, and grab the world with both hands. And start this week, today... start right now! What do you have to lose?

Blue Zones Blue zones are the five regions in the world where people live the longest. People in those places also live the healthiest and happiest lives. They are based in different areas all across the globe, but their focus is the same, and the message they give us is the same. The five blue zones include the following places: The Italian island of Sardinia Okinawa in Japan Loma Linda in California Costa Rica’s isolated Nicoya Peninsula Ikaria, an isolated Greek island What do they all have in common, and what can we learn from them? It has been found that they have nine important lessons to teach us. I love them all, and it is something we can all benefit from. I would like to share them with you: Move naturally People from these areas keep moving. They do not spend any time in the gym. They move without thinking. They do gardening, go for walks, etc. Moving is part of their everyday life. The message is that physical activity is important for our well-being. Find life purpose Life purpose is different for each of us. It is important to explore what you love doing and what makes you happy. Allow yourself to be who you are, and the meaning of life will support your life purpose. Experience pleasure and joy in what you do. When you live a life of purpose, it can add up to an additional seven years to your life. Downshift Everybody experiences stress, even people living in blue zones. But the way they deal with stress is this: They follow a routine that helps them relax, such as praying or having an afternoon nap. The advice is to take

time for yourself and do things you find relaxing, and to focus on positive energy. Plant-based diet They base their diet on plant food, and they eat most of their food in the first half of the day. They eat their smallest meal in the late afternoon or early evening, and then they do not eat for the rest of the day. Spend time with your family Being emotionally close to family, as well as geographically close, will offer support to aging parents and grandparents. Putting family first is very much a common theme within the areas of blue zones. They also commit to a life partner, and invest lots of time and love in their children. (Their children will take care of them when they get ill or old.) Moderate calorie intake The focus is on eating smaller portion sizes, and following the 80% principle. What this means is that you stop eating when you are 80% full. This 20% of being hungry can make a big difference between being healthy and slim or being unhealthy and overweight. Moderate alcohol intake People in blue zones drink regularly, but they drink in moderation. They drink with friends and while they eat their food. Belong Research shows that belonging to some kind of faith-based service in the community, and attending it regularly, will add 4–14 years of life expectancy. Most people in blue zones belong to some kind of spiritualbased service in the community. Surround yourself with supportive people We, as human beings, need others to survive and thrive. Social support networks, from families, friends, and communities, are closely linked to better health.

All of these nine habits seem to be common sense, but many people in our society are not following them. Studies show that adopting a blue-zone lifestyle could help the average person’s life expectancy to increase by 10–12 years, and for them to live without chronic disease. If you focus on developing only one of these habits a month, you will notice improvements in your health; your life will become more fulfilling, and you will be more in touch with your needs and your sense of purpose.

Chapter 5 Your Body Is Your Home “Creating an overall healthy lifestyle for yourself does not require a radical diet or significant life change. In fact, it can be attained through common sense decisions about the way we eat, move, and live.” Harley Pasternak

Positive Mindset Many people want to lose weight, but not everyone succeeds at it. Why not? Henry Ford said, “If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got.” I am sure many people agree with this quote, but despite that, changing old habits and behaviours that can contribute to weight loss continue to be a struggle for most people. Why is it that making a change when it comes to weight loss is so hard? There are many reasons for this, and we are going to look at some of them now. In order to lose weight, you must change. The reason why many people struggle with it is because weight loss is not only about changing the diet; it is also about making changes in many different areas of the person’s life. This includes making many changes in well-established daily routines, and this involves challenging yourself psychically, emotionally, and mentally. Most people lack motivation because they believe there is no guarantee that making the change will bring different results, so they convince themselves that it will not work. This is what often goes through their minds: “What if I make all the necessary changes, but I do not succeed again, like last time, or the time before that? I am going to feel like a failure!” Fear of failing can be a big emotional risk for some people. Self-doubt and fear can condition you to not believe in yourself, and this is very common when it comes to weight loss. And yes, you are right, you may not succeed, but what if you do? What if you do succeed? When thinking about change, people often focus on what they are going to lose, rather than what they are going to gain. This feeds negativity, and thinking this way can stop you from taking action in the first place. Research shows that success in any achievement, including weight loss, depends largely on having a positive mindset.

Weight loss is a mindset game. When thinking of weight loss, people often think of all the things they are going to lose, such as their favourite foods, social life, comfort of their daily routine, so instead of taking action and changing the situation, they prefer to stay in the same place, and not to fear. This is what I often hear: “I will need to do lots of exercise if I want to lose weight, and I will not have much time for anything else.” “I want to lose weight, but this means that I will need to deprive myself of eating my favourite foods.” “Losing weight means I will not be able to go out and socialise with my friends.” It does not surprise me that people struggle so much with their weight-loss efforts. Can you see how much negativity is attached to it? It does not give any incentive to take even the first step. Every change requires an element of fear, and when it comes to weight loss, there are plenty of changes required that are inevitable to gain success, but by attaching too much negativity to it, it does not encourage you to take action. My advice is to start thinking positively about weight loss and to look forward to the positive changes that you are going to experience, as a result of the actions you took. Focus your thinking on your vision rather than how hard it will be to get there. Imagine what your life will be like when you have achieved your target weight and how great you will feel — not to mention how great you will look. Many people experience their lack of success as a failure. I suggest you see it as a challenge, and use it as a vehicle to drive you forward. Focusing on the positive can give you control and show you the way to your happy place, but focusing on the negative will increase your doubts and freeze your ability to act on your dreams and goals. A negative mindset will make your weight-loss goal very hard to achieve. Losing weight is not easy, but focusing on the negative will not bring positive change. Positive change comes only with positive responses to the

changes that you make. Your positive attitude towards life challenges will give you an opportunity to build a healthy lifestyle, which will bring harmony and help you create a more balanced life. When harmony is missing, we tend to crave comfort. Many people find comfort in the food they eat, unaware that a healthy lifestyle cannot grow from the negative. Only a positive mindset can bring positive change.

Build a Healthy Lifestyle Building a healthy lifestyle is crucial when you want to lose weight. You cannot expect to lose weight and continue following your unhealthy habits. A healthy lifestyle includes everything from eating healthy and doing regular exercise, to making sure that you have enough sleep and are taking good care of your mind, body, and spirit. When you start building a healthy lifestyle, you will notice changes happening, not only with your weight but with your moods and energy levels too. You will feel happier, more vibrant, and have more control over your health and your life. Developing a healthy lifestyle should not be your goal. Goals have a time frame and an end date attached to their names. A healthy lifestyle should be your attitude towards your life and the way you choose to live. A healthy lifestyle applies to everything you do and the way you do it, on an everyday basis. This does not include only your diet and exercise, but your whole life: your morning routine, your bedtime routine, the quality of the food you choose to eat, the amount of alcohol you consume, the hours of sleep you have, etc. It is important that you choose a type of lifestyle that you can live with. Creating a healthy lifestyle that has an expiration date of when you lose the excess weight, will not do any favours to your body or bring lasting success. You may lose some weight, but you will probably put it back on as soon as you go back to your old ways. You cannot carry on doing the same things and expect different results. It does not work that way. Your healthy lifestyle will be the combination of your ability, desire, and needs. Ability You need to be able to follow your healthy lifestyle. For instance, you may decide that going to the gym at 6 a.m. five times a week, is a good idea. But if you work till late most nights every week, then it may not be realistic for you to do this. You may need to look at your timetable, and negotiate a

more convenient time to commit yourself to your daily exercise regime. Trying to make changes and commit to something only occasionally will not bring a long-term success. A healthy lifestyle comes with consistently repeated, healthy behaviours, over a long period of time. Desire You need to want to succeed. Your desire to succeed needs to be stronger than your desire to stay the same and carry on living your old lifestyle. Only then will you succeed in achieving what you want and not go back to where you were before. Your desire is closely related to your why. If you do not know why you want something, you will not have a desire to make the change. Your why will tell you how changes to your lifestyle will make a difference in your life. This will give you motivation and desire to succeed. Needs When you have a need to do something, rather than being forced to do it, it means that this behaviour has become a habit. Habits are often performed on autopilot. I will give you an example — exercise is very much a part of my life, and I always miss it when I do not exercise for a while. When you miss something or crave it, it is often an indication that you have developed a habit that has become a part of your regular routine. To develop a healthy habit, my best advice I can give you is to practise, practise, and practise. The more you do something, the easier it will become and the more comfortable you will feel doing it. When this behaviour becomes a habit, you will have a need to carry on doing it. When you have the ability, the desire, and the need to build a healthy lifestyle, and you understand your why and the reason behind it, then a healthy lifestyle has a great chance of becoming a part of your life. In the following section, you will learn the five steps to develop healthy habits that can help you develop a healthy lifestyle.

5 Steps to Develop Healthy Habits Your life is made of habits that you developed over the years. From the moment you get up in the morning until you go to bed, you repeat things you did the previous day, and the day before, and the day before that. Very rarely do we do something extraordinary that is totally out of our routine. Your habits are actions that you practised regularly until they became a part of your life. Many people spent 10, 20, 30, 40, or 50-plus years developing some of their habits, and I understand that it is extremely hard to start changing something that was a part of your life for so long. Some of your habits have the role of taking care of you and protecting you, while others are not doing you any favours. They do not even make you feel good about yourself, but you still hold on to them, and you cannot let them go. You are loyal to them despite how they make you feel. All of your habits are nothing else but learned behaviours. Any repeated action can become a habit. The best way to break an unwanted habit is to replace it with a healthier, nonfood-related action. Here are 5 steps that show you how to develop new and healthy habits: Set daily or weekly goal Break your goals into small steps, as they will be more manageable to achieve, and will feel less overwhelming. As discussed earlier in this book, if your goal is to lose weight, then your goal needs to be broken into numbers of small goals/steps and each of them should be working towards the same outcome. They all need to be focused on improving your diet and lifestyle. The best way to change your unhealthy habits is to swap them with healthy ones. Here is an example: If your habit is to spend evenings sitting on the sofa, watching TV, and snacking until late at night, which consequently results in feeling tired, being overweight, and being unhealthy, how about replacing your daily, unhealthy habit with having a warm bath and reading a book in bed until you are ready to sleep. By doing this regularly, you will develop a healthy habit. Try it for a week and see what difference it will make to the way you feel.

Practise self-discipline Write your plan in your diary. Whether it is going to the gym on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday mornings, or if it is doing a weekly meal plan every Wednesday evening — whatever it is, stick to it, and be disciplined. If you are struggling with your self-discipline, find a friend, a family member, or a coach who will keep you accountable and acknowledge your progress. Persist with your new behaviour until it becomes automatic Do not stop with your new behaviour until you do it on autopilot. Remember that doing something only once will not change you. You are what you repeatedly do. One bad meal is not going to make you fat. Also, one good workout will not make you slim. Reward yourself After completing each task that you set up — which could be going to the gym or not having a dessert after dinner for a week, or eating a healthy breakfast for five consecutive days — whatever it is, make sure you reward yourself for your efforts. Choose a reward that you like, and which makes you feel good about yourself. Make sure that your reward is nonfoodrelated. Be kind to yourself Practising a new habit requires patience. Achieving a new goal takes time. Working towards being better than you were yesterday allows you to not be perfect all the time. Do not beat yourself up when you do not succeed. Be kind and understanding towards your needs. You have probably heard that it takes 21 days to change a habit. I would say that it probably takes longer than that. But whatever the truth is, the key is that any habit can be changed, but it takes time. If you want to achieve your weight-loss goal, or any goal for that matter, and you want your habits to take you where you want to be, then you need to practise your habits until they become a part of your everyday routine, and are adopted as a part of your life.

Are You Confused About All the Conflicting Information? It seems that everyone these days is telling you that some food is either the best or the worst thing you can eat, or that a particular diet guarantees weight loss. There is such confusion over nutrition. What is going on, and how can you possibly identify the best advice to follow? Should you cut down on carbs, or cut down on fat? Or both? Should you go vegan, or do you actually need meat? Some weight-loss plans promise the impossible, such as losing 10 kg in only one week, and keeping the weight off. Others are more realistic, focused on health, and tend to work better for people. There is often conflicting advice on what is good and bad for us. At one time, for example, government’s scientific advice was that eggs raise our cholesterol levels, risking high blood pressure. Then the advice changed, and now we are told there is no danger from eggs. How can all these claims be true? Are you confused? There are many reasons for the contradictory ideas, but these three are crucially important: 1. Not all nutritional research is impartial. Food industry giants sometimes fund it, and it is clearly not in their interests for their products to be shown as unhealthy or fattening. 2. Recent rises in obesity levels and some cancers have taken place during changes in a number of factors. It can be difficult for research to pinpoint which of these factors has had the most effect — is it diet, medication, healing therapies, or something else? 3. People are all different. While some broad conclusions can be reached, what works for one person will not necessarily work for another. There are a number of diets that can help with weight loss, but it is important to find the diet that works for you. You will probably lose weight if you cut calories, no matter how you go about it, but it may not be a healthy or permanent weight loss. You will most likely lose weight if you

eat very little, and if your diet consists of processed foods only. It is very possible to lose weight in this instance, but your health will be negatively affected by your food and drink choices. Some of the most famous weight-loss diets are the Mediterranean diet, ketogenic diet, low-fat diet, Weight Watchers, Slimming World, etc. You have probably noticed that a diet that works for one person could be completely ineffective for another. It is important to find the diet the works for you, and the one that equally supports your health and weight loss. It is important to remember that when it comes to weight loss, the diet is not the only thing to bear in mind. Stress levels can influence the way we absorb the food we eat. Our activity levels can affect it too. Hormones can also play an important role in determining someone’s weight. So, what is the answer? If you want an effective and healthy weight lossprogramme, it is best to stay away from sweeping claims, and to work with a nutritionist or a weight-loss coach who will help you explore your individual needs, as well as look at how different aspects of your life affect your health, weight, and well-being. Feel free to go to the accompanying book website, www.getsparkleback.com, and book your complimentary call with me, so we can explore the issues you have and look at the ways you can overcome them. We are also going to look at the best dietary approach that is most suitable for you, and one that fits your lifestyle.

Nutrients and Your Body In order to function properly, our body needs nutrients. Nutrients help the body to live, grow, and survive. There are three different types of nutrients: macronutrients, micronutrients, and water. They are divided into different subgroups, and each plays a specific role in the body and has a different function. Fats, proteins, and carbohydrates are the three main macronutrients our body gets from food, and it needs these in large amounts. Micronutrients are vitamins and minerals, and the body requires these in smaller amounts. The body can make some of the micronutrients, but some of them can only be taken through the food we eat. It is important to consume a great variety of foods, as one food will not provide the body with everything it needs. What you get from one type of food, you will not get from another. The key to good health is to have a diet that is as varied as possible. Water is probably the most important nutrient. We cannot survive without it. More than 60% of our body is made of water, and every cell in our body needs water to be able to function properly. Water helps to regulate body temperature, supports digestion, flushes body waste, affects mental functioning, provides us with energy, and so much more. Our bodies cannot live without water for more than a few days. Dehydration can kill us. Here is a short description of the roles of the nutrients needed by the body: Proteins – help the body to grow and maintain tissues, muscles, and hormones. Fats or lipids – provide us with energy, form cell membranes, and help proteins do their job. Carbohydrates – provide the body with energy. Vitamins – help the body to grow and develop, and have an impact on metabolism, immunity, and digestion. Minerals – help the body to grow and develop, and stay healthy.

Fibre – helps with normal bowel movement. Water – has many important functions, from digestion to controlling the body temperature. Have you noticed that I have not mentioned sugar? That is right. Our body does not need sugar. Sugar is one of the main killers in today’s society, and I suggest you avoid eating added sugar. I will be talking more about this in the next chapter. When thinking of the right diet for your body, think of balance and moderation. Your body needs the right foods, in the right amounts. Excess food can cause you to gain weight, which can result in the development of negative physical symptoms that can lead to many health conditions. So, what is a balanced diet, and what should your plate look like? A balanced diet is made of lean protein, good quality fats, complex carbohydrates, and plenty of fruits and vegetables. Your dinner plate should contain following: 1/4 of your plate should contain protein rich foods, such as eggs, seafood, meat, beans or lentils. 1/4 of your plate should be filled with carbohydrate-rich foods, which include whole grains, starchy vegetables, oats, or rye. 1/2 of the plate should be filled with green and non-starchy vegetables. Healthy fats include avocado, nuts, olive oil, seeds, and fatty fish — use them in moderation. Here are some recommendations on what to include and what not to include in your diet, in order to maintain a healthy weight and stay healthy: Eat fish 2–3 times per week. Limit adding salt to your foods, and avoid sugar. (Salt and sugar do not bring any health benefits.) Drink plenty of water — a minimum of eight glasses a day. (60% of the human body is made of water, and we constantly keep losing water through

sweating, urinating, and breathing. Therefore, we need to keep replenishing it all the time.) Do not eat too much fruit if your goal is to lose weight. (Fruits contain quite a lot of sugar. Some of the best fruits for weight loss are berries. They provide us with antioxidants, and help us to lower cholesterol and reduce abdominal fat.) Eat whole foods as much as possible, and avoid processed foods. When you feed your body with a variety of nutrients, then your body responds positively to it. You stop craving sugar and refined foods. When you remove these from your diet, then you start losing weight. In the next section, you are going to learn the key to your health and weight loss. This is a very important section, and it focuses on blood sugar balancing.

The Key to Your Health and Weight Loss Making sure that your blood sugar level is stable is extremely important for your health and weight loss, and the key is to keep your blood sugar balanced all through the day. Let’s look at how balancing your blood sugar level impacts your body, and what happens when your blood sugar is unstable. So, what happens after we eat? After eating a meal, the food we have eaten is turned into glucose. Glucose is produced by our digestive system after breaking down carbohydrates from foods. The glucose is then released into the blood-stream, and the hormone called insulin pushes it into different cells in the body, where it can be converted into energy. Some foods will spike blood sugar levels more than others will. Eating high-sugar foods, or food high in starch, such as white bread, white rice, or pasta, will be digested quickly; therefore, it will spike blood sugar levels much quicker than foods containing fibre, fat, or protein. When blood sugar is high, the pancreas produces insulin to lower blood sugar levels. The insulin then takes the glucose out of the blood and stores it in the cells. Any excess energy that you have inside the cells will be turned into fat. Insulin is a fat storage hormone, and the more sugar and refined carbohydrates you eat, the more insulin your pancreas is going to produce. This will cause blood glucose levels to drop very quickly, and will create feelings of fatigue, sleepiness, weakness, irritability, sugar cravings, and dizziness. Blood sugar imbalance is one of the main causes of sugar cravings, mid-afternoon energy slumps, and fatigue. Feeling this way will make you reach for high carbohydrate foods in order to get a quick boost to your energy. Stimulants such as alcohol, coffee, or cigarettes can have the same effect on blood sugar levels as sugary or refined foods, because they encourage the release of two hormones: adrenalin and cortisol. Interactions of these hormones with different parts of the body have a strong impact on the sugar in the bloodstream.

The modern Western diet does not do us any favours. The Western diet is based on foods such as cakes, pizzas, chocolates, coffee, orange juice, crisps, etc. Eating this way all through the day causes a blood sugar roller coaster, and it does not give a body any chance to recover. Long-term effects of sugar imbalance can cause weight gain, hormonal imbalance, insulin resistance, and inflammation issues. Some of the factors contributing to blood sugar imbalance are: Diet high in saturated and trans fat, sugar, refined carbohydrates Diet low in fibre, high quality protein, essential fats, and micronutrients Diet high in stimulants such as tea, coffee, chocolate, alcohol, and colas Infrequent meals Chronic stress Smoking Social drugs Some pharmaceutical drugs Sedentary lifestyle Overweight and obesity Here are tips on how to keep your blood sugar balanced all through the day: Try to eat complex carbohydrates as part of your main meals, such as wholemeal bread, lentils, beans, brown rice, etc. Eat little and often during the day (e.g. three small meals and two snacks). Include some protein (lean meat, fish, pulses, nuts and seeds) in all your meals and snacks to help slow the release of glucose from the gut into the blood stream. Do not skip breakfast. Drink plenty of water. Exercise regularly. Reduce stress.

In summary, the key to your health and weight loss is to follow a healthy diet that contains a variety of nutrients, making sure that you get the right intake of protein, carbohydrates, and fats. This will ensure that your body feels its best. I advise you to follow the tips given in this section to keep your blood sugar stable and your body healthy.

Chapter 6 Everything You Need to Know About… “While weight loss is important, what is more important is the quality of food you put in your body — food is information that quickly changes your metabolism and genes.” Mark Hyman

Everything You Need to Know About Carbs Carbohydrates are an essential source of energy for your body. There are two categories of carbohydrates: complex and simple. People often call them good and bad carbs. Carbohydrates are made of fibre, starch, and sugar. Sugar is a type of simple carbohydrate, and it could be very damaging to your health if consumed regularly and in large amounts. Starch and fibre are types of complex carbohydrates. They all play different roles in our bodies, and affect our health differently. The body digests simple carbohydrates much faster than complex carbohydrates. It breaks down simple carbohydrates quickly and uses them for energy. That is the reason why consuming simple carbohydrates spikes the blood sugar levels much faster than eating complex carbohydrates. Many people believe that carbohydrates can be found only in bread, pasta, and potatoes, but the truth is that carbohydrates are also found in fruits, vegetables, grains, nuts, dairy, seeds, and all sugary products. Here is the difference between simple and complex carbohydrates: Simple carbohydrates Sugar and white flour is something that you need to avoid. They are simple carbohydrates that are low in fibre. Foods made of white flour have been processed and refined, and stripped of essential vitamins and minerals. Regularly consuming foods made of white flour has been linked to obesity and many health issues. This includes foods such as white bread, white pasta, crackers, etc. They are digested very quickly and are stored in the body as fat. Since the body absorbs them quickly, they are causing us to overeat — within one or two hours after eating, we feel hungry again. Some of the foods where simple carbohydrates are found are: raw sugar, brown sugar, fruit juice concentrate, glucose, fructose and sucrose, and corn syrup. You can find them in foods such as breakfast cereals, baked goods, and soft drinks. Complex carbohydrates

I often hear people saying they avoid eating carbohydrates, as they are afraid that they might make them fat. Weight loss should not be focused on not eating carbohydrates, but on eating the right type of carbohydrates. The right type of carbohydrates are the complex carbs, as they contain nutrients such as dietary fibre and resistant starch, which absorb slowly in the body, and therefore it helps to manage blood sugar levels after eating food. Fibre, in particular, provides us with important benefits — it helps us with bowel movements and controls cholesterol. Complex carbohydrates are necessary for good health, and they can help us maintain a healthy weight. They are found in foods such as whole grains, peas, beans, and fruits and vegetables rich in fibre, such as berries and leafy green vegetables. Carbohydrates are important nutrients, and they form the base of a healthy diet. It is the fuel for the body as it provides us with energy. Complex carbohydrates should be part of a healthy diet, but only if they are eaten in moderation. I notice that people tend to overeat them, which contributes to high blood sugar levels and weight gain. Benefits of complex carbohydrates include helping us feel full, preventing the body from using protein for energy, helping to control blood sugar levels, and possibly reducing the risk of developing some chronic diseases. It is important to remember, consuming too much of any type of carbohydrate will not provide you with the benefits you are seeking, so pay attention to your portion sizes. In summary, there are two types of carbohydrates, and they are the main source of energy for our body. Complex carbohydrates are a necessary part of a healthy diet, while simple carbohydrates can be detrimental to our health. Eating too many simple carbohydrates can cause a number of health issues and weight gain, and should be avoided.

Everything You Need to Know About Protein Proteins are amongst the most essential nutrients for our diet. Without them, our bodies could not grow or maintain themselves. But proteins provide much more than just keeping us alive. They play a vital role in keeping us healthy and can be crucial in you achieving your weight-loss goal. What do proteins do? Made up of amino acids, some of the basic building blocks of life, proteins are crucial for keeping our body working. Essentially, they are the builders and repairers working away within us. For instance, skin, hair, and nails are mainly made of protein. Protein also plays a major role in replacing new tissue and muscles. That is not the limit of what proteins give us though. They are also important in creating the antibodies that fight off the invasion of viruses and hostile bacteria. Without enough protein in our diet, we would be vulnerable to every bug going round, from colds right up to serious diseases. Protein can be found in most foods, and the best way to ensure a good intake is to follow a healthy, balanced diet. The richest sources of protein include lean meat, fish, eggs, and dairy products. However, that does not mean you cannot get an adequate protein intake if you are vegetarian or vegan, as they can be found in many plant-based foods. Amongst the best of these are found below: Nuts, especially almonds, pistachios, and peanuts Beans and pulses, such as lentils, chickpeas, and kidney beans Soya, which can provide an effective substitute for both meat and dairy Grains, such as oats and quinoa Vegetables, such as broccoli and Brussels sprouts Fruits, such as apricots, blackberries, kiwi, and peaches Per calorie, broccoli is richer in protein than beef. So, if you are vegetarian or vegan, you can still get plenty of protein from your veggies. Seeds and

legumes, as you can see from the list above, can also provide you with protein. The current daily protein intake is 56 grams per day for the sedentary man, and 46 grams per day for the sedentary woman. This is general guidance for most people. The right amount of protein for your body depends on your height, weight, and age, and if you are moderately active or pregnant, in which case it may be necessary to increase your intake of protein. Bear in mind that your body cannot store protein for later use the way it does with carbohydrates, which means that if you are consuming more protein than your body needs, the excess protein will provide you with energy or it will turn into fat. But I do not think you need to worry about this, as most people get most of their calories from fat or carbs, and not from protein. Can you lose weight on a protein-rich diet? We all know the problems with dieting. We are hungry all the time and crave forbidden foods. We feel listless and unhealthy, making it difficult to exercise. And even if we reach our target without falling off the wagon, somehow the weight starts piling on afterwards. A protein-rich diet avoids all this. Proteins affect the hormones that dictate our hunger, making us less hungry and more able to control our calorie intake painlessly. In addition, they provide the fuel for burning fat and helping keep blood sugar levels stable. Besides all this, protein’s role in building muscles will leave you feeling generally healthier and fitter, as well as making it easier to keep up any exercise regime you are undertaking at the same time. In general, a healthy, protein-rich diet should involve between 20–30% of your calories coming in the form of protein.

Everything You Need to Know About Fat Fat has a very bad reputation as far as nutrition goes. It is generally considered as being responsible for obesity, high cholesterol, and heart disease. Part of this reputation is certainly justified, but the picture is complex. There are several types of fat, and some of these are not only good for your body’s general health, but they can actually help you lose weight. Fat’s primary role is as a source of energy and supporting the growth of cells, and without this input, we would not be able to function. In addition, fats protect our organs, regulate body temperature, and help absorb some vitamins. Not all fats are the same. Their roles vary, depending on which one you choose. They can either make your body healthy and energised, or leave you overweight and at risk of heart disease. Types of fats are: Saturated fats Trans fats Unsaturated fats (they include monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats) Saturated fats Saturated fats used to be regarded as unhealthy, and for decades we have been told that they can clog the arteries and cause cardiovascular disease. Recent research suggests that we need saturated fat, and that it is very beneficial for us. It helps to maintain the protective layers around our organs, provides brain health, helps to regulate cholesterol, and supports the immune system. Saturated fat is found in coconut oil, and in animal products such as meat, dairy products, and eggs. Trans fats Trans fats are the real enemy. These are usually synthetic and are found in fried or processed food, and cakes or biscuits, although very small amounts may occur naturally in meat and dairy.

Trans fats should be avoided at all costs. They pile on weight, and there is not any health benefit they provide us with. They are particularly bad for your cholesterol. Trans fats cause inflammation in the body, which contributes to swelling, aches, and pains. They can also cause many health issues, such as diabetes type 2, heart problems, excess weight around your belly, bad cholesterol, harmful gut bacteria, and some cancers. Anyone wanting a healthy diet or to lose weight should do their best to steer clear of all trans fats. Unsaturated fats (monounsaturated and polyunsaturated) Unsaturated fats, by contrast, not only provide a range of health benefits, but can actually help you lose weight. This is because they boost your metabolism, helping you burn up more of your fat store. In addition, they regulate your blood pressure and sugar levels, and replace bad cholesterol with good cholesterol. Excellent sources of unsaturated fats (which are either monounsaturated or polyunsaturated) range from olive oil and many kinds of nuts, to fish such as salmon, trout, and tuna. Many people try avoiding eating fats, as they believe the fat is not good for their health and weight loss, so instead of eating fatty foods, they choose to eat low-fat products. The problem is that low-fat foods often contain lots of sugar and other unhealthy ingredients. They have been processed and tend to have added sugar, and lots of unhealthy additives and preservatives. Therefore, these types of foods do not provide your body with necessary nutrients, and do not promote health and weight loss. They are very damaging to your health. On the other hand, making sure you eat plenty of monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats will help you with both your general health and with losing weight.

Everything You Need to Know About Fibre Fibre is a non-digestible complex carbohydrate that comes from plants. Our body cannot digest it or absorb it. Unlike simple carbohydrates, fibre does not raise our blood sugar levels. There are two types of fibre: soluble and insoluble. They are both important for our health, and they provide us with plenty of benefits so our body can function properly. It is recommended to have 25–30 grams of fibre per day, but many people take less than 20 grams of fibre daily. Soluble fibre Soluble fibre dissolves and breaks down in water, and during digestion it turns to gel. This process slows digestion and helps us to feel fuller longer, because it stays in our stomach longer than some other foods. Eating soluble fibre can help to reduce appetite, and it keeps the gut bacteria healthy. Several studies suggest soluble fibre can help with losing belly fat, and prevent gaining belly fat. Soluble fibre helps to clear waste out of the body. It helps us be more regular. Some of the foods rich in soluble fibre are oats, legumes, nuts, seeds, and some fruits and vegetables. Insoluble fibre This type of fibre does not dissolve in water. Our body cannot digest it, so it just passes through the body. It helps to keep the colon clean, and to keep the colon bacteria balanced. Foods rich in insoluble fibre are wheat bran, some vegetables, whole grains, seeds, and the edible skin of many fruits and vegetables. Vegetables are a great source of fibre, and there are plenty of health benefits that we can get from eating them. Fibre can help us prevent many diseases, and some of the benefits that we experience from eating fibre are: Increased satiety Increased stool weight Help in controlling blood sugar levels Feeding good bacteria in the gut Reduced risk of some cancers Lower risk of heart disease

Preventing constipation Lower obesity risks Fibre cannot be broken down by our digestive system; therefore, eating fibre with carbohydrates can slow down the digestion process in the body, which helps with weight loss. Therefore, I recommend you eat plenty of foods high in fibre, as they will promote your weight loss as well as your overall health.

Everything You Need to Know About Starch Starch is a word that traditionally struck fear and loathing in the hearts of dieters. In fact, starch has some negative aspects, but it also has plenty of positive ones and is an essential part of any healthy diet. What is starch? Starches are complex carbohydrates in which simple sugar molecules combine into long chains to form very large molecules. When digested, the starch breaks down again into monosaccharides, the simplest types of sugar, which can be absorbed into the bloodstream. The primary function of monosaccharides is to produce the energy your body needs. It can also be stored in the muscles in the form of glycogen, which is used to power muscular movement. However, excess starch is stored by the body as fat, while types that release their monosaccharides can very quickly raise blood sugar levels. The crucial difference between starches is how quickly they break down into sugars and enter the bloodstream. Therefore, they are seen as good and bad starches. Some starches can spike blood sugar levels very quickly, and this means that the pancreas will produce large amounts of insulin, which contributes to turning sugar from the blood into fat. Healthy starches, on the other hand, are those that break down slowly, only releasing the amount of sugar we need for energy. This helps maintain a more consistent blood sugar level. There is also a type called resistant starch, which reaches the colon undigested. Like fibre, it feeds the friendly bacteria essential for the health of your gut. A link has also been suggested between resistant starch and benefits ranging from weight loss to resistance against diabetes, though tests have not been conclusive. Unhealthy starchy foods tend to be those that have been processed. I suggest you avoid these foods, and one of them includes white bread. Besides the additives these might contain, which are not beneficial to your health, the monosaccharides are absorbed very quickly, which result in a spike of your blood sugar levels.

Other starchy foods to limit, in order to help your weight loss, are white rice, white pasta, and white potatoes. Instead, I suggest you eat whole grains and sweet potatoes, as they slow digestion, and therefore support your weight loss. Healthier sources of starch are beans, lentils, and whole grains such as brown rice, barley, or quinoa. The way you prepare your starchy foods will affect the starch in them. For instance, eating potatoes or pasta as soon as they have been cooked will make your blood sugar sore. But cooking potatoes or pasta, letting them cool down and then reheating them, will change the structure of the foods, turning pasta and potatoes into resistant starch, and your body will treat it similar to fibre. It will not spike your blood sugar level too high, and will help feed the good bacteria in your gut. This is obviously much healthier for you and better for your weight loss. Starch is an essential part of your diet, and for anyone simply wanting a healthy diet, good starches should typically make up about half of your daily calorie intake. This can be a little lower if you are trying to lose weight, since your body will use up its store of fat, though you will still need plenty of resistant starch.

Everything You Need to Know About Sugar If you are trying to ensure a balanced diet, you will know that most nutrients can have both positive and negative effects, depending on the quantity you eat, but this is not true about sugar. Sugar does not have any nutritional value at all. Sugar makes you pile on weight, but that is not the limit of its health hazards. High sugar intake has been linked to everything from obesity and high blood pressure to liver disease, as well as being implicated in the current epidemic of type 2 diabetes. Where can you find sugar? My answer is that sugar is everywhere, in everything from sweets to processed foods, and even in fruits and vegetables. Sugar is present in all foods containing carbohydrates, including fruits, vegetables, grains, and dairy. Natural sugar in fruits and vegetables is not a big problem, as they also have a high amount of fibre in them, as well as vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants, but added sugar in your food, which is present in most processed foods, could negatively impact your health and well-being. It is something that you need to be aware of. Consuming too much added sugar can cause a real problem, and there are a number of diseases associated with eating sugar: High blood pressure High blood sugar Mood swings Depression Hyperactivity Headaches Type 2 diabetes Acne Sleep disturbances Kidney damage Cancer Fatigue or violent behaviour

Hardening of the arteries Dental issues When you decrease or eliminate added sugar from your diet, you gain more energy, feel better, sleep better, and lose weight. But how much sugar should you be consuming daily? How much is too much? The American Heart Association recommends nine teaspoons of sugar per day for men, and six teaspoons of sugar for women. In the UK, the National Health Services suggest adults should have no more than 30 grams of sugar per day, which is roughly seven cubes, and children ages 4–6 should have six cubes of sugar per day. To put this into perspective, there are 4 grams of sugar in one teaspoon. In one can of coke, there are nine cubes of sugar, which is more than the recommended daily limit for adults. Did you know that sugar is hiding behind many different names? Below, I have listed 30 names for sugar, but if you go to the accompanying book website, www.getsparkleback.com, you will find the worksheet in the guidebook, called Names for Sugar. It lists more than 80 names for sugar. I suggest you get familiar with some of these names so you can recognise them when you see them on the food labels. It is important to know what you are putting inside your body. Agave – agave nectar – anhydrous dextrose – barley malt – Barbados sugar – beet sugar – black strap molasses – brown rice syrup – brown sugar – buttered syrup – cane crystals – cane juice – cane sugar – caramel – carob syrup – cam syrup – cam syrup solids – castor sugar – com sweetener – confectioners’ sugar – crystalline fructose – date sugar – dehydrated cane juice – demerara sugar – dextran – dextrose – diastatic malt – diastase – icing sugar – palm sugar Here are some tips on cutting back sugar consumption: Swap out soda and juices for water, or add a slice of fruit to water. Do not eat bananas too ripe. Add cinnamon to foods.

Check nutrition labels, and go for foods with less added sugar. Choose unsweetened cereal, and add fruit or honey instead of sugar. Eat starchy carbohydrates with protein to balance your blood sugar levels. This will help you with your energy and food cravings. It is important to mention that natural sugar from fruits is still a sugar, and it can spike your blood sugar levels, which then contribute to weight gain. It is advisable to eat the whole piece of fruit rather than juicing. When you drink juice, then you are consuming all the sugar in the fruits, but not the fibre. Fibre in the whole piece of fruit helps to boosts your digestion, controls your blood sugar level, and helps you to feel full. Another problem with juicing is that you may use 4 or 5 pieces of fruit. You probably would not eat that much fruit in one sitting if you were eating the whole fruit. To conclude, pay attention to how much natural sugar you are consuming, and stay away from added sugar. Sugar can cause many negative health effects, from obesity to heart disease and some cancers. The more sugar you eat, the more sugar you will crave.

Chapter 7 How to Keep Food Cravings at Bay “Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity.” Jonathan Safran Foer

Are Food Cravings a Habit? Any habit you have is learned behaviour. But is craving food a habit? Almost everyone who has tried to diet has sooner or later come up against cravings. Of course, if what you were craving were nuts or a plate of healthy vegetables, that would not be a problem, but unfortunately, the most common foods we crave tend to be the unhealthiest. So why are we obsessed with cakes, crisps, and sugar-laden milk chocolate? Is it really just a habit? The physiological causes of craving Cravings are not purely weakness. They can be triggered by chemical processes in the body, and more specifically the brain. For example, foods rich in carbohydrates and sugars tend to boost levels of serotonin and endorphins, both of which make us feel good. It is no accident that the foodstuffs marketed most aggressively come under this category. Plenty of research goes into designing foods that provoke precisely these reactions, along with those that trick our brains into believing we are still hungry. After all, the more we crave these foods, the more they are going to sell. Another factor that can contribute to cravings is the health of our guts. This is because it is the gut that produces the most serotonin, and the rate of production depends on the gut’s friendly bacteria. If hostile bacteria are present in greater numbers, either because of illness or poor diet, the brain will look elsewhere for its serotonin fix. The psychological causes of cravings Our state of mind can also increase cravings for whatever we feel is comfort food. Stress, sadness, or poor self-esteem can have us raiding the fridge or the cupboards for something to make us feel better. Psychology and physiology are intimately linked, and this effect comes from the lower levels of serotonin and endorphins we have during these moods. It does not matter whether the mood affects the chemical balance or vice versa — the effect is the same.

We also associate certain foods with feeling good. This means that, even if we are not suffering from negative moods or imbalances, our brain may tell us we want more of that — just like a drug. When a certain habit creates a reward every time we repeat it, our brain starts craving for it when we do not have it. Many people associate certain places or certain times of the day with specific foods. Think about it: Some people may associate arriving home with having a cup of tea or coffee; going to the cinema often has a strong association with having a coke and popcorn; walking into the office in the morning could mean having a strong coffee, and sitting in front of the TV is sometimes associated with munching on biscuits. In essence, the food craving can be triggered by the physiological causes, but it can also be a habit. Like any habit, the best way to break it is to avoid temptation or to substitute it with something better. For instance, keep healthy snacks for when you feel hungry, or drink more water to take the hunger off. The good news is that, as you change your snacking habits, the physical causes of the craving will fade.

Are You a Sugar Addict? Do you feel regular cravings for sweet food or drinks? Do you find yourself unable to resist taking just one more piece of chocolate or biscuit, even if you were determined not to? This might not be a craving; it might be an addiction, and you are not alone. Most people eat more sugar than they intend to. So, why do we continue eating more and more sugar? According to a study by the University of Queensland, sugar has addictive properties similar to cocaine. In fact, it has been suggested that sugar is up to eight times more addictive than cocaine, and brain scans show that sugar affects the brain very similar to cocaine. Like many drugs, sugar releases a rush of dopamine to the brain, stimulating the pleasure centres. That is why we feel good when we eat sweet foods, and we often eat them when unhappy in order to feel better. However, it is a very short rush, followed by a crash in dopamine levels, and then we need to get back to that good feeling. As with other addictions, we are soon eating sugar less for the highs and more to avoid the lows. It is not surprising that people keep going back to sugary foods or drinks every time they are in search of a dopamine level and feeling-good state. Breaking a sugar addiction is not easy. It may be possible to use natural sweeteners, like Stevia or Xylitol, though artificial substitutes like aspartame should be avoided. However, even these can sometimes trigger dopamine reactions similar to sugar, prolonging rather than breaking the addiction. Strong will is likely to be the most effective antidote, but as mentioned before, willpower is shown not to be a permanent solution. However, there is sugar in so many processed foods of all kinds that you could be feeding your addiction without realising it. If you are going to kick your sugar habit, it is not just a matter of giving up chocolate and cake — you will need to carefully study the labels of everything you buy, to make sure it does not contain unexpected sugar.

If you simply enjoy the odd piece of chocolate as a treat but can go weeks without craving more, you probably do not have a problem. If, however, you cannot leave sugary foods or drinks alone, even if you want to, then it is important to look at how you can reduce sugar in your diet. Here are some tips and suggestions on what you can do to reduce your dependence on having sugar in your diet. Remember, sugar is like a drug. The more you eat it, the more you need it. So, here we go: Add fruit to your breakfast cereal instead of sugar. (Most cereals already have a high sugar content.) Get into the habit of reading food labels, and choose products that are lowest in added sugar. Drink water with a slice of lemon, instead of fruit juices or soda. Eat natural foods, and avoid or reduce eating processed foods. Eating foods rich in protein and good quality fats will reduce cravings for sugar. Stress, tiredness, and lack of sleep could cause you to reach for sugar. Find ways to reduce your stress level, and make sure you have good quality sleep: Do yoga, practise meditation, and feed your body with healthy and nourishing foods. Remember, sugar is not your friend. It is important to educate yourself on reading nutrition labels, as you may find sugar in foods where you least expect it. Do not forget, there are more than 80 names for sugar, and it is your responsibility to familiarise yourself with the names for sugar on food labels.

This Is What to Eat to Stop Cravings The foods we tend to feel cravings for are often the foods high in sugar, salt, or fat — exactly those the food industry works hardest at promoting. These are often genuinely addictive, giving the brain a temporary high, which it then craves more of. What can you eat to prevent food cravings? Here are eight tips that you can implement, which will help you with food cravings: Always eat a healthy breakfast I strongly suggest you never skip your breakfast. Your breakfast will prevent you from being hungry later on. It should include complex carbohydrates, protein, and healthy fats. Do not have sugary cereals, as they will drain your energy, and you will end up feeling hungry very quickly. Having a protein-rich breakfast will help you feel more energised through the day, and will stop you from craving sugary foods. Include protein with every meal This is a must. Protein will slow the digestion process and will help you to regulate your blood sugar balance. This will prevent you from feeling tired or irritable, which is a result of the blood sugar crash that usually leads to reaching for sugary or carbohydrate loaded foods. Aim to eat complex carbohydrates with your meals Complex carbohydrates include whole wheat bread, brown rice, quinoa, millet, lentils, beans, etc. They provide us with energy and have more nutrients than simple carbohydrates. They contain more fibre, which means that it takes longer for the body to digest them. This will support your health and help you lose weight. Choose healthy snacks These include foods high in protein, such as oatcake with nut butter, or some berries with a few nuts. Healthy snacks will keep you full between the main meals and provide your body with necessary nutrients.

Replace caffeinated tea or coffee with herbal tea Avoid stimulants in order to keep your blood sugar down. Stimulants can spike your blood sugar levels. This can negatively affect your health and weight loss. Stimulants can impact your sleep and your mood as well. Do not leave large gaps between meals Eating regularly throughout the day will maintain your blood sugar levels and keep you satisfied. Try not to leave more than 3–4 hours between meals. Stop eating at least three hours before bedtime. Replace refined foods with plenty of fibre-rich foods Refined foods will spike your blood sugar levels, and will be followed by a crash within less than two hours after eating a meal. This will encourage your body to crave sugar, and will make you feel irritable. It takes much longer for the body to digest fibre; therefore, eating foods containing fibre will keep you fuller longer. Processed foods are full of added sugar, salt, and unhealthy fats. I suggest you stay away from them, and focus on eating whole foods as often as possible. Include good fats in your meals We all need fatty foods. Good fats will keep your blood sugar stable. You can find good fats in foods such as nuts, seeds, oily fish, avocado, eggs, coconut oil, olive oil, etc. Do not be afraid of fat! Those are the ideas about what you can eat to prevent food cravings. In the following section, we are going to look at what you can do to prevent food cravings.

This Is What to Do to Stop Cravings We all experience food cravings at some stage, but they can be particularly bad if you are trying to lose weight. Of course, there would not be a problem if you developed cravings for broccoli, but unfortunately, it does not work like that. So, how do you fight these cravings? Here are 4 tips to help you with your food cravings: Keep a food journal You cannot form a strategy against your cravings unless you know exactly what they are and when they are most likely to strike. Note down every time you really wanted chocolate, crisps, or a fizzy drink, even if you managed to resist the temptation. Then study the patterns. Once you understand your cravings, you will find it far easier to develop resistance. Eat regular meals It may seem counterintuitive, but eating on a regular basis is far better for fighting cravings than skipping meals. This is because, when we are hungry, a vicious cycle of high and low blood sugar tends to kick in, and we feel irresistible cravings. Plan your day so you have healthy meals at regular times, and especially do not be tempted to skip breakfast. Also, factor in healthy snacking to make sure your cravings do not get a look-in. Develop a healthy lifestyle A lifestyle where you are constantly feeling rushed and under pressure will raise your stress levels. Besides the many other reasons why this is bad for you, it can increase your cravings for unhealthy foods, as the brain seeks its happiness fix to counteract the stress. This is especially true if you do not have enough sleep. So make sure you give yourself time to get a good night’s sleep, as well as factoring exercise and healthy relaxation into your daily routine. Avoidance or aversion

To some extent, it can work simply to avoid the foods you have identified as your cravings. Do not have them in the house — do not even walk down the aisle in the supermarket where you know they are kept. A more extreme tactic is to practise aversion therapy on yourself. Do the opposite of the industry’s advertisements. When you think of the food you crave, imagine greasy fat lining your arteries, or picture yourself swallowing ten spoonfuls of sugar. The negative image can help to counteract your craving. These are just a few of the approaches you can take to stop your food cravings. This brings us to the section where we will explore the technique of mindful eating. Let’s look at how mindful eating can support you breaking your eating habits.

Mindful Eating I am sure you have heard of mindful eating, but what is mindful eating? Some people call it an eating technique, and to others, it is a form of meditation. Fundamentally, mindful eating involves the following: Eating slowly Eating without distractions (not eating while doing something else: watching TV, talking to a friend, driving a car) Recognising the difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger Paying attention to the taste, texture, smell, and colour of the food Paying attention to how you are feeling Noticing your level of hunger/fullness, and stop eating when 3/4 full What is mindless eating? People often eat quickly, not even thinking about what they are consuming. Eating mindlessly can contribute to weight gain. Eating while doing something else will take your focus off the food, and once you are finished your meal, you will probably not even remember the taste or the texture of the food you have eaten. You will also not pay attention to your hunger level, and you will eat until you clear the plate, rather than stop eating when you feel satisfied. Multitasking while eating reduces your full awareness of the food, while you are paying less attention to the quantity of the food you are eating, you are also paying less attention to the quality of the food. When eating mindlessly, you are less likely to feel satisfied after you have eaten. Mindless eating and emotional eating often go hand in hand. They are both connected to unconscious eating. Eating mindlessly while multitasking, or eating because of stress, anxiety, tiredness, or frustration, can result in unconscious eating. What are the benefits of mindful eating?

Eating mindfully will help you become more aware of your experiences and senses. It will give you power over the food and give you control over your eating. This will result in having healthier eating habits and will establish a better relationship with food, and it will support you with your weight loss. Being mindful is not about competing; it is about slowing down. It is about being fully present, listening to your body, and enjoying the food you are eating — experiencing the taste, smelling the food, and enjoying the texture of the food. When you truly listen to the signals of your body, you will notice that you may not need as much food as you thought. You will be satisfied with much smaller portions. Mindful eating helps you recognise the triggers that are food related, such as reaching for unhealthy food or overeating when you feel unhappy. This can help you make better food choices. Research shows that practising mindful eating can reduce or prevent binge eating. It has also been shown that it works very well with weight loss. Doing yoga or meditation can help you with creating more awareness, similar to mindful eating, and teach you to become more present. They can also help you to have a greater understanding of your body and be more in tune with it. In addition to yoga and meditation, practising deep breathing is another useful exercise that can help you with your focus, relaxation, and awareness. All these activities can make you more self-aware and help you create positive emotions, which will have a strong impact on the way you feel and on the success of your weight loss.

Physical/Psychological/Emotional Hunger There are three types of hunger — physical, psychological, and emotional. Each of them serves a different purpose and satisfies different needs. We are now going to look at the main differences between each type of hunger. It is important to distinguish the difference between them in order to be able to develop strategies that can help you manage them better. Physical hunger Physical hunger is simply a hunger for food, and is not attached to any feelings. It comes gradually and is triggered by not eating any food for a long period of time. It is based in your stomach. You are aware of your food choices, and you feel in control of it. Physical hunger is not about one specific food, but being open to consuming any foods in order to satisfy the need for hunger. Physical hunger is attached to meeting the physiological need, and it does not activate inner feelings that can make you feel bad in any way. You stop eating when you feel full. One of the ways to deal with physical hunger is to do some planning and always make sure you have some food on you, such as a piece of fruit or a bag of nuts, when you are out and about and do not have a chance to sit down and eat. Psychological hunger This type of hunger is often caused by habit or desire. One of the habits could be to have the food at the same time every day. Desire might be to see a cake in the shop window and want to eat it. Habits play a massive role in determining when we are going to eat and what type of food we are going to have. For instance, walking into the house could mean putting the kettle on and making a cup of tea or coffee. Buying a chocolate bar while paying for the petrol could also be a habit. Eating the same breakfast every morning is another habit. Seeing someone eating an ice cream, and then you wanting to eat an ice cream, is the desire.

Removing your temptations by taking some of the food out of the house could help you overcome your problem with psychological eating. Another way to overcome this is to eat regularly and snack healthy. You will feel more satisfied and less physically hungry if you eat small portions of food every few hours. Emotional hunger Emotional hunger happens suddenly and is triggered by the negative emotions you experience. It is often about certain food, and having a large amount of it. This type of food rarely provides good nutritional value, and after finishing eating it, you are left feeling ashamed, guilty, or disappointed in yourself and the world around you. Emotional hunger can lead to binge eating and make you feel out of control. You eat even when you feel physically full. The most common reasons for emotional eating are boredom, stress, anxiety, loneliness, or feeling unfulfilled or not understood. When feeling this way, people often turn to food for comfort. Each type of hunger usually happens at different times from each other. Only on occasion do they happen simultaneously. Psychological and emotional hunger differs from physical hunger, and sometimes it is common for people to experience them at the same time. Physical hunger is driven mainly by physical symptoms such as stomach rumbling, lack of concentration, or even headaches, while other types of hunger do not depend on any physical symptoms, but are purely psychological or emotional. They tend to appear when you may not expect them, as they are dependent on your feelings, thoughts, and emotions. This is why some people find it very hard to manage them. To get to the bottom of your cravings, whether it is psychological, physical, or emotional, go to the accompanying book website, www.getsparkleback.com, and book your complimentary call with me, so we can get to the bottom of your food cravings and look at the best ways for you to overcome this issue. If you have not booked the call already, I am warmly inviting you to do it now, before you dive into the next chapter.

Chapter 8 Exploring Barriers “Obstacles do not have to stop you. If you run into a wall, do not turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” Michael Jordan

Physical/Psychological/Emotional Barriers Weight loss is a physical and emotional process, and changing your eating habits can be challenging. You might find many barriers in different areas of your life that are preventing you from losing weight, and it is important to recognise which ones are affecting you the most, so you can find the best ways to deal with them. Physical barriers to weight loss: Medical issues – Maybe you have a medical condition that is making it hard for you to lose weight. Supermarkets/restaurants – There is a wide variety of tempting foods in the supermarkets and delicious menus in the restaurants, and you find it hard to resist. Psychological and emotional barriers to weight loss: Belief system – Your beliefs dictate the outcome. If you do not believe that you can lose weight, then you will struggle with your weight loss. Our beliefs always determine our behaviours; therefore, if you want to receive a different outcome, your belief system has to change. Searching for comfort in food – Maybe you are reaching for food every time you feel down or unhappy in some way, and you hope the food will take away your negative emotions. The problem with this is that eating food will not heal your emotions; it can only offer you temporary relief, and when the relief is gone, people often report they felt worse than before they ate. Lack of motivation – You may lose motivation when you do not see results quickly enough. Disappointment is likely to take you back to your old ways. Lack of commitment – Do you remember Kerry from the Chapter 3 section, What Is Your Why? Unfortunately, I have never had the opportunity to work with Kerry. She never got to be my client. She never took the action. She showed the interest by responding to my Facebook post. She was motivated to make the contact but not motivated enough to commit to losing weight.

I want to remind you that the service I offered was a free weight-loss trial. It was free, as I wanted to promote my new service, and it was important to me to find out how my ideal clients were going to respond to it. Therefore, no cost was involved. But it seemed that Kerry’s readiness to change was low, and her weight loss was not high on her priority list. You see, when the commitment is not there, you may find that you do not finish what you started, or you may not even make the start. Kerry’s commitment to losing weight was simply not as important as she thought it was. Weight loss is something that lots of people struggle with, but many people are not committed to start creating the change. In many cases, it is the lack of understanding of their why that is stopping them from succeeding. It is perfectly normal to face the barriers described above. One of the ways to overcome possible forthcoming obstacles is to explore the most common challenges you may experience, and prevent them from arising. This is what to do to be better prepared: Do not try to make all your changes at once: Trying to make too many changes at the same time will overwhelm you and discourage you. Focus on one or two changes at a time, and then introduce new habits after the first set of changes become your routine. Building a new habit is like building a house. Building a house on a strong foundation has more chance of surviving an earthquake and bad weather, rather than the house that was built on shaky ground. Get appropriate treatment for your health condition: Some medical conditions can prevent you from losing weight, and they include: thyroid disorder, diabetes, polycystic ovaries syndrome, hormonal imbalance, and many others. I advise you to visit your doctor to receive appropriate treatment for your condition. Never do shopping when you are feeling hungry: Do not go food shopping on an empty stomach. Make a shopping list and buy only the foods from your list. This will help you to be more disciplined and buy only what you need. Distinguish the difference between the reasons and excuses: Are you constantly looking for the reasons why you cannot lose weight? It is

important to notice that some of the reasons you have are maybe your excuses. Excuses will never bring the result you desire. The role of the excuse is to blame others. On the other hand, the role of the reason is to give explanation. Explanation provides us with understanding why something is the way it is. Go back to your why: Think once again why it is important to you to lose weight. Ask yourself the following questions: What are the benefits of losing weight? How will my life improve once I have lost weight? How will my weight loss change the lives of others? To succeed, it is important to understand that you have barriers preventing you from reaching your weight-loss goal and to be aware of the ways they affect you. Only by understanding your barriers, and dealing with them, can you make the change you would like to change. It is vital to look at what actions you will take, so you are able to deal with your barriers appropriately, and achieve the results you want. Remember that you are the only one who can make the change and create the difference. No one else can be in charge of the direction you are going to take. Weight loss is like anything else in life. It is the result of the choices you make. To achieve great results, make sure you get into the habit of making the right choices for yourself, your body, and your health.

Hitting a Plateau If you have tried to lose weight, you may have experienced hitting a plateau. You have been doing fine, the weight has been falling off, and then for no apparent reason, it stops. It is easy to get disheartened and give up. The good news, though, is that there are sound reasons why it happens, as well as ways of overcoming it. So, what causes a plateau, you may ask? While it is always possible that your plateau is simply the effect of relaxing your diet or exercise routine, it is most likely to be a part of your weight-loss journey, caused by natural reasons. In the first couple of weeks of your diet, your body compensates for reduced calories by releasing glycogen from the muscles and liver, often leading to rapid weight loss. After a while, you lose some of your muscle with the fat, resulting in a reduction of your metabolism. Since a slower metabolism means fewer calories burnt, weight reduction becomes harder to achieve. The knee-jerk reaction may be to eat less and cut calories further. I know of some people who go under 1,200 calories per day, and what happens in this instance is that the body reacts by slowing the metabolism even further, and this takes you back to square one. What is important at this stage is to adjust your diet. It is more valuable than cutting calories to ensure you are eating more of the foods that help build muscle and thus raise your metabolism. Protein-rich foods, like lean meat or nuts, can help with this, while fibre-rich fruit and vegetables will tend to reduce hunger cravings. These two nutrients — protein and fibre — are very important when it comes to weight loss. It is vital to spread your calorie intake evenly throughout the day. And always ensure that you keep well hydrated by drinking water regularly. Introducing changes in your exercise routine may also be necessary. A regular daily exercise routine is great most of the time, but it has a downside. Your body is programmed to learn how to perform actions more economically, so if you are doing the same exercises day after day, you will gradually start burning up less energy.

You need to challenge your body in order to improve your strength and conditioning. Try varying your exercise routine. For instance, if you are regularly doing high intensity interval training (HIIT), you could sometimes slip in some longer cardio exercises, and vice versa. You may wonder what HIIT is. It is a training strategy that is very effective for fat loss, and it asks you to alternate short periods of intense anaerobic exercise with less intense recovery periods. This type of training gets your heart rate up, and you burn more fat in shorter periods of time. Also, do not forget to implement exercise into your daily routine by going for a walk at lunchtime or using the stairs instead of lifts. One of the things I always recommend to my clients is to not use a trolley when doing shopping, and to try using a basket instead. Introducing these small changes into your everyday life will make a big difference. No change is too small when it comes to weight loss. Every change starts with a small step. Finally, remember not to skimp on your sleep. Besides being bad for your overall health, lack of sleep can result in weight gain. I cannot stress how important it is to have good quality sleep. It is the foundation to good health and successful weight loss.

What Is Hiding in Our Food? At its most basic, food contains various major nutritional elements, such as proteins, carbohydrates, and fats, as well as various micronutrients, like vitamins and trace minerals. However, they are not all you will find in food you buy at the supermarket. Increasingly, additives are hiding in our foods too — many of them artificial. Research shows there are over 3,000 food additives added to foods these days. What are additives? Additives are natural or artificial chemicals added to food for a variety of reasons. Many are preservatives, to give food a longer shelf life, while others are designed to enhance the taste, alter the colour, or thicken the food. While some additives have been used for centuries (salt or vinegar for preserving, for instance), many are now synthetic. These include substances such as sulphates, sodium benzoate, monosodium glutamate, and sweeteners like aspartame. While these may make our food last longer or taste a certain way, many have been linked with health hazards and weight gain. Not all additives involve health hazards, but a wide range of issues have been suggested, especially with artificial chemicals. These range from colourings and preservatives, connected to hyperactivity in children, allergic reactions, and the possibility of many additives increasing the risk of cancer. A number of additives have been associated with weight gain. These include sodium benzoate, which suppresses the hormone leptin that tells you when you have eaten enough and monosodium glutamate, which upsets your hormonal balance. Some emulsifying agents have been connected with damage to the gut, making the healthy bacteria living there less able to do their work. Besides the diseases of the gut, which may result, this also seems to stimulate extra appetite, leading to overeating and weight gain. Artificial sweeteners, like saccharine and aspartame, were once promoted as good for weight-loss diets because they contained no calories. However,

evidence now suggests that these substances may actually cause us to gain weight. Various reasons have been proposed. There is evidence that some sweeteners, like other additives, may damage the gut and affect the appetite, while it has also been suggested that they increase our taste for sweet foods, leading us to eat and drink more unhealthy choices. In addition to what I already mentioned so far in this section, here are some of the toxic food ingredients that you can find in processed foods: Trans fats (hydrogenated oils) – found in margarine, packaged snacks, fried foods, doughnuts, microwave popcorns, etc. It can cause heart disease and diabetes. Artificial sweeteners (sucralose, aspartame, and saccharine) – made with chemicals affecting brain function, mood, sleep, and digestion. High-fructose corn syrup – found in most processed foods, such as salad dressing, sweetened yoghurts, juice, and many others. It causes obesity and type 2 diabetes, and raises bad cholesterol levels. Butylated hydroxyanisole (BHA) and butylated hydroxytoluene (BHT) – used by the food industry as preservatives to prevent oils in foods from oxidising and becoming rancid. They can cause cancer and disrupt your endocrine system. Monosodium glutamate (MSG) – often added to soups, sauces, seasonings, and many restaurant foods. It stimulates nerve cells that increase hunger and trigger food cravings. Artificial colours (red, yellow, and blue) – found in artificially flavoured drinks, cereals, salad dressing, etc. Artificial colours in foods are linked to hyperactivity disorder in children, some allergies, nausea, and some cancers. Sodium nitrates and nitrites – used in some processed meats, such as bacon, ham, and hot dogs. They can cause heart disease by damaging our blood vessels and making our arteries harden and narrow. They can also affect our liver and pancreas, affecting the production of insulin.

I understand that it is hard to avoid additives altogether, but you can reduce your intake by cutting the consumption of processed foods and using fresh ingredients as much as possible. You can also check the labels of any processed food you decide to buy, watching out for anything with more harmful additives. Reading nutrition labels and understanding what they mean is crucial. It helps you make the right food choices based on the information given on the labels. In the next section, we are going to dive into the world of food labels, and explore this further.

Understanding Food Labels Do you know what you are actually eating when you look at food labels? If you do not understand what you are supposed to look for when you read food labels, then you will never know what you are putting inside your body. Here are my top tips that can help you gain a better understanding of food labels: Check the ingredients list – Most pre-packed food products have a list of ingredients attached. They are always listed in order of weight, from the highest to smallest quantities, so the main ingredients in the packaged food always come first. If the first few ingredient are any type of sugar, for example, that means that the product is high in sugar, and it is best to avoid it. Recommendation is to choose products with five or less ingredients. Heavily processed foods can have over 30 ingredients. Below, you can see the ingredient list of a well-known product. Look how many ingredients it contains. Try to guess what food this is.

This ingredient list is what is printed on a packet of Jaffa cakes. Calories – Calories are always displayed on the nutrition labels. My advice is to not get too obsessed with counting calories. Keep an eye on them, but do not count every single calorie you eat. It is much more important to pay attention to the ingredient list rather than the amount of calories in the food. I am aware that this way of thinking is against the idea of the calories-in vs calories-out approach. And I do believe that 100 calories from a chocolate

bar is the same as 100 calories from broccoli in terms of energy, but the way they affect our body is very different. No calorie provides us with the same nutritional value. From a nutritional point of view, calories from broccoli will keep our body healthy, protect us against free radicals and certain types of cancer, keep our blood sugar low, and support our heart health in so many ways. On the other hand, calories from chocolate can cause cardiovascular disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, and other health conditions. In addition to this, calories from chocolate will definitely not support your weight loss or fat loss. I would like to mention here that eating dark chocolate can bring some health benefits, but only if eaten in small amounts. Traffic-light colours – You will often find a colour-coded nutrition label on the front of packaging, with red, yellow, and green colours. This shows whether the food contains high, medium, or low amounts of fat, saturated fat, sugars, and salt. Red light means high. Yellow light means medium. Green light means low. Avoid or eat less often the food that has mostly red lights, and eat more often the food with green lights. Go to the accompanying book website, www.getsparkleback.com, and in the guidebook, you will find the worksheet titled Traffic-Light Food Label. This worksheet explains how much fat, saturated fat, sugar, and salt you should have in your foods. I suggest you print it out and keep it in your purse, so you always have it on hand and use it as a guide when you go shopping. Check portion sizes – The portion size is the manufacturer’s recommendation. Always read the label to find out how many portions each package contains. You may see something like this: 8 servings per container – serving size 2/3 cup (55g) 13 servings per container – serving size 1/2 cup dry (40g) Learn where the sugar is – The only way to know where the sugar is hidden is by learning all the names used for sugar. Go back to the section,

Everything You Need to Know About Sugar, and familiarize yourself with some of the names mentioned there. When looking at food labels, pay attention to anything that is ending with ose, such as fructose, glucose, galactose, sucrose, maltose, or dextrose. If the word ends with ose, it means it is a type of sugar. Identify allergens – Labels must clearly display possible allergies, such as eggs, milk, peanuts, fish, cereals containing gluten, soy, etc. Pay attention to these if you are aware of any allergies that you may have. Total carbohydrates – Food labels should always show the amount of the total carbohydrates, and they can be divided between dietary fibre and sugar. If you notice the grams of sugar are close to the total carbohydrates in each serving, then I suggest you avoid this food. Here is an example: •

Total carbohydrates 30 grams Dietary fibre 1 gram Sugars 29 grams

On the food packaging, you will sometimes find nutrition claims. They could be very misleading, so watch out. Here are a few examples: Low calories/low fat/fat free – This usually means that sweetener is added, which is often more dangerous to your health. All natural – It does not mean anything, and it is often used to mislead people to think that the food is healthy. Organic – The food can still contain traces of GMOs. Reduced fat – At least 25% less fat than the original product in the same brand, but the food may still be high in fat. % fat free – It can only be used for low fat products, with the percentage based on the weight of fat in 100 grams of food. (In a 100-gram serving of food, marked 98% fat free, it means the serving has 2 grams of fat.) Trans fat free – It is within the law to have this written on the labels of processed foods, as long as the product contains less than 0.5 grams of trans fat per serving.

Cholesterol free –This does not mean low fat. Cholesterol is only found in foods that contain animal fats. (Only animals make cholesterol; plants do not.). For example, vegetable oils (canola, olive, sunflower, etc.) are cholesterol free, but are 100% fat. Light or Lite – It does not necessarily mean low in energy or fat, etc. It may mean light in colour, lightly toasted, light in salt, light in taste, etc. No added sugar – It means no added refined sugar. It does not necessarily mean the food is low in sugar. The food may still be high in natural sugars, such as in fruit juices. Food manufacturers will do anything to hide controversial ingredients by naming them with different names, and the junk food companies will do anything to hide the truth from their consumers when marketing their products. I suggest you stick to eating whole foods. For example, when eating an apple, you do not need to worry about food labels or the ingredients list, as there is only one ingredient there. When eating a potato, it is the same. I always suggest to my clients that if they do not recognise the ingredients on the ingredient list, then it is probably best to leave the product alone and choose something they recognise as food, rather than guess what the chemicals in that food might mean, and how they can affect their health.

Lacking Motivation A weight-loss programme is not always easy. Even when we really want it, and when we know why we want it, we may still sometimes lose motivation. After a good start, many people experience boredom with their new diet and inability to carry on with their new lifestyle, or they hit a plateau, so they struggle to find a reason for carrying on. Losing motivation where weight loss is concerned is not uncommon, even when things are heading in the right direction. If you lose motivation to continue with your weight loss, it can become a vicious circle, in which weight returns and you become even more disheartened. So, how can you fight lack of motivation in weight loss? First, let’s look at why you may lack motivation. Physical environment and psychological and social factors can all hit your weight-loss motivation. Your lack of motivation could be driven by your symptom of fatigue or stress, or it may revolve around poor self-image, or feeling that you do not deserve the improvement, or perhaps you are afraid of failure. We already discussed some of these issues previously. They are all valid reasons and can prevent you from moving forward. But what can you do about it? Losing weight can be stressful and isolating if you do not have support. There is a good reason why many people join slimming clubs, as it gives them a ready-made support system. However, friends and family can be even more valuable as support. At the end of the day, they are the people who you spend the most time with, right? Finally, you may simply not be sure why you want to lose weight. If you have not defined your reasons and your goals, they can seem nebulous and hard to achieve. This is the reason why knowing your why plays such an important role in keeping your motivation alive. There are various strategies you can use to regain your motivation when you feel it is slowly slipping through your fingers. Here, I am giving you a few tips on what you can do to keep yourself motivated to lose weight. Find which one works best for you. Here they are:

Define clearly why you want to lose weight – It is important to always keep your vision clear in your mind. If you do not know why you want to lose weight, then you will struggle to keep going when things get really tough. It does not matter whether your motivation is to lose weight for health reasons or because you want to look good on the beach — be clear why you are doing it, and write it down so you can remind yourself at any time. Set realistic goals and choose a programme that suits your lifestyle – If your goal is unrealistic, and you cannot follow the plan, it is likely you may fail. Be sure you have a good chance of achieving your targets. Keep a weight-loss journal – Monitoring yourself is an excellent tool for keeping on track, as long as you are honest. That means writing down every snack, as well as all other meals. Allow yourself setbacks – If you consider yourself a failure every time you fail to meet a goal, it is easy to lose heart and motivation. Celebrate your successes – We all respond well to being rewarded, even if it is just bragging rights to your friends or on Facebook. Look after your health and your well-being – If you are tired, stressed, or short on sleep, it can be hard to keep your motivation going, so make sure you keep yourself healthy while losing weight. These are just a few of the many things you can do to maintain your motivation in losing weight. Without the motivation, you will probably not even take the first step in your weight-loss journey. It is very hard to do anything if the motivation is not there. One of the best ways to stay motivated is to get support. We are social beings, and we need others to thrive. Finding the right support for our needs could be crucial in helping us to progress and stay on the right track with whatever we are trying to achieve. Getting support with your weight loss may benefit you greatly. Never underestimate the power of support and accountability that others can give you. In the following section, we are going to look at different types of support and how you may benefit from them while travelling on your weight-loss

journey.

Getting Support Have you ever tried to lose weight and found it is not as easy as it seems for others? That is common and not necessarily your fault. Reasons can range from specific medical conditions to low self-confidence, or not having enough knowledge about what to eat, when, and how. Whatever the cause, you are likely to enjoy more success with appropriate support. Social support The simplest way to find support is through family, friends, or work colleagues. Talking about your goals and sharing your achievements, whether in person or through social media, can get you encouragement and congratulations. It is important, though, to find positive people for support, not those who will find negatives in everything you do. Alternatively, it can be very effective to find a weight-loss partner. If you share your goals, achievements, and disappointments with someone who understands the process, you can support and motivate one another. Joining a group There is a good reason why people trying to lose weight have traditionally tended to join groups like Slimming World or Weight Watchers. These work like an extended version of having a partner. You surround yourself with people who are going through the same process and can offer mutual support. Nowadays, of course, having too busy a life to attend meetings does not rule out this option. You may be able to join an online group that offers both support and accountability in your own time. You are welcome to join my closed Facebook group, Eat Smart, Live Healthy, Love Your Body, where you will receive my help and support. You will find the link to the group in the guidebook on the website, www.getsparkleback.com. Medical support Not everyone who struggles with weight loss simply lacks willpower. Sometimes there are medical reasons. A visit to your doctor can be valuable

to examine both your weight and BMI and to assess your general health. If the doctor identifies medical conditions that are holding you back from losing weight, there are various options available: They may refer you to a specialist, whether for your underlying condition or for special dietary advice. In certain circumstances, they may prescribe medication to aid in your weight loss. Be aware that the majority of weight loss pills will not work, especially if you do not start taking care of your diet. In extreme conditions, they may recommend weight loss surgery, although this is only rarely the best solution. Support from a nutritionist and a health coach A nutritionist and a health coach will work closely with you to identify the type of diet that not only meets your needs, but the diet that will give you the best chance to succeed. In addition, you will be working with someone who can offer you not just support, but expert support. I am inviting you to go to the accompanying book website, www.getsparkleback.com, and book your complimentary call with me, where we will look at what changes are needed in your diet and lifestyle, in order for you to meet your goals that you set up. Taking the first step towards weight loss is often encouraged by motivation, followed by willpower, but many people struggle to find motivation after the willpower is gone. The support and connection you get from people in your support network will be crucial to your weight-loss success. They will help you be motivated and stay on track. In this section, I mentioned a few support networks that can help you on your weight-loss journey. I suggest you find the type of support that best suits your needs. Encouragement and motivation that you will receive from your support network during times of struggle will be the best and most valuable source of help that you can get. Without support, you will find it much harder to stick to your diet and healthy lifestyle, and this will impact your chances of succeeding in losing weight.

Chapter 9 Focusing on the Weight Loss “People have to realise that dieting is not a sprint, it is a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war.” Ian K. Smith

10 Reasons Why You Cannot Lose Weight There are many reasons why you could be struggling with your weight loss, even though you are maybe doing everything right. I will mention here some of the most common reasons that can stop you from losing weight. Bringing this into your awareness, you will have a choice and the power to make the changes you want. 10 reasons why your weight is maybe not coming off: You do not sleep enough This is probably one of the most common reasons why you might be struggling with your weight loss. Sleep deprivation produces hormones that increase your appetite. You are also more likely to reach for more fattening foods than after a good night’s sleep. You overeat Not paying attention to your portion sizes can have a big impact on your weight. Eating too much occasionally is fine, but overeating daily will lead to unwanted weight gain. Simply because you are eating healthy does not mean you can eat as much as you like. You eat too little Do not think that eating little will help you lose weight. When you reduce your calorie intake, keep skipping meals, and eat too little, your body learns to live in starvation mode. Eating too little slows down your metabolism, and instead of losing fat, you may be losing muscle. You eat the wrong food Eating low-fat or low-calorie foods will not support your weight loss. Your body needs healthy fats for good functioning of your brain, cells, and hormones. Low-fat foods are usually packed with sugar, which can increase your weight rather than help you lose it. By dramatically reducing your calorie intake, you may lose muscle, and this will slow down your metabolism, which will consequently make it more difficult for you to lose weight.

You are stressed Anything can cause stress to your body, such as lack of sleep, eating too much or too little, exercising too much, illness, exhaustion, etc. All of these can raise your cortisol levels. If your cortisol, which is a stress hormone, is raised more often than not, it will be very hard for your body to start losing weight. We are going to explore this further in the next chapter. Your hormones could be out of balance Hormones control different activities in the body. You already learned how imbalanced blood sugar levels can produce insulin — a hormone causing weight gain, obesity, and other health conditions. Your thyroid hormones can also prevent you from losing weight. Then there are leptin and ghrelin, two hormones that regulate appetite and play a massive role in controlling weight. You are not doing enough exercise Lack of physical activity is one the major problems in today’s society. It is not only that lack of exercise can make it more difficult for you to lose weight or to maintain a healthy weight, but it can also affect your health and cause you to develop high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, or cardiovascular disease. Try to do 30 minutes of exercise daily to help you with your health and weight loss. You are doing too much exercise Most people know that not exercising is not good for them, but not many people know that too much exercise can be damaging for the body too. It can cause inflammation in the body and increase cortisol levels. High cortisol levels in the body means that your body feels under stress and is trying to balance itself rather than use the energy to burn fat. Another problem with exercising too much could be that you overeat, as exercising can increase your appetite. You do not have enough muscle Having more muscle in your body speeds up your metabolism, and this means you can lose more weight in your resting state. Therefore, the more muscle you have, the more weight you will lose. I would like to mention

here that the older we get, the more muscle mass we lose. Therefore, I recommend you start lifting weights as part of your exercise regime in order to build muscle. You have a medical condition There are some medical conditions that can prevent us from losing weight. The most common conditions are underactive thyroid, polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), Cushing syndrome and steroid treatment. I suggest you see your doctor as soon as you start feeling unwell or experience symptoms that you never had before. What can you do? In your guidebook, on the accompanying book website, www.getsparkleback.com, use the worksheet, 10 Reasons Why Your Weight Is Maybe Not Coming Off, and look through the list of causes that might be stopping you from losing weight. Identify which ones apply to you, and develop a plan that will help you deal better with things that you find challenging. I also suggest you adopt ways of eating, which you find sustainable. This will prevent you from going back to yo-yo dieting. If you want to lose weight, then you need to change your behaviour and develop a slim person’s mindset, and start doing things you have not been doing. If you carry on doing what you have always done, then I am sorry to tell you, but your situation is unlikely to improve. In this section, we touched on the importance of exercise when it comes to weight loss. Now we are going to look at what brings more benefits for losing weight — is it diet or exercise?

Diet vs Exercise I am sure you are aware that we are suffering from a national obesity epidemic. Being obese or overweight poses a range of health risks, from diabetes to heart attack, but what is the best way to fight it — diet or exercise? What are the benefits of dieting? I will start with explaining the benefits of dieting. The old-fashioned idea of dieting is simply to eat less, but this itself can pose health risks. While reducing the total quantity eaten as part of dieting, the quality of what you eat is far more important. I am aware that there are people following very unhealthy but low-calorie diets, and even though this way of eating can help some people to lose weight, I would not recommend it, as it could be very damaging to your health. I advise you to stop thinking of food as something that can make you gain weight or lose weight. Instead, start seeing food as a vehicle that can take you to good or bad health. This new approach will encourage you to look at the food differently and help you not getting stuck in the diet cycle. It will remind you to pay more attention to your eating habits, which will support you on your weight-loss journey. A healthy weight-loss diet will vary slightly for each individual, but broadly it involves a shift from red meat (and especially processed meat), starch, and trans fat, to plenty of vegetables, limited amounts of fruit, and lean protein, such as chicken or fish. A small reduction in portion sizes will also help. Following a planned, healthy diet should result in steady weight loss, but it should not be seen as a quick fix. A healthy diet is about making small but permanent changes in the way you eat, and not about being able to fit into that dress again for a party next month. Some key principles of a healthy diet are eating whole foods and nutritious foods, and having a variety of nutrients in your diet. What are the benefits of exercise?

There are many health benefits of exercise, and exercise is often promoted as a way to lose weight. When it comes to weight loss, there is one problem with exercise, and that is that it takes a lot of exercise to burn off calories. For example, you would need to run for 7–8 miles to burn off an average fast-food meal, whereas it is far easier to eat a healthy meal instead, with a fraction of the calories. More intense training in the gym is quicker, but an overweight or obese person would struggle to keep that up long enough. Where exercise does score is in keeping weight off once you have lost it. In addition, feeling fitter can also make you more positive, helping you stick to your healthy diet and follow a healthy lifestyle. It is important to mention that from the age of around 30, if you were an inactive person, you will lose, on average, 3–5% of muscle per each decade. Your body is designed to use more energy for maintaining muscle rather than fat; therefore, simply by having less muscle on your body, you will be putting more weight on. Muscle speeds up your metabolic rate, and that is one of the reasons why I would like to encourage you to introduce strength training a couple of times a week rather than doing plenty of cardio exercise. It is simply one of those things — use it or lose it. So, which one is better, diet or exercise? It has been calculated that weight loss is about 70% diet and 30% exercise. Both are important, and exercise has many health benefits, but a healthy diet is the key to taking off excess weight. There is a famous saying: You cannot out-exercise a bad diet. If you eat healthy but do not do any exercise, you will most likely lose weight. But if you eat badly, then you will need to do plenty of exercise in order to lose weight, and most people simply do not do it.

The Weight-Loss Mindset With many overweight people, the mindset is perhaps the most influential factor that will determine how quickly and how successful they are going to be in achieving their weight-loss goal. When it comes to weight loss, it is 99% down to your mindset that determines the level of success you are going to achieve. And once you have lost the weight, your mindset will decide whether you are going to stick to a healthy lifestyle and a healthy diet, or if you are going to give up as soon as you face the first hurdle. The weight-loss mindset can be divided into two categories: Diet mindset = Short-term weight-loss mindset Health-focused mindset = Lasting weight-loss mindset A diet mindset can negatively interfere with your weight loss efforts, and the problem is that many people use it every time they want to lose some weight. The issue with this type of mindset is that it wants you to lose all the excess weight right now, and that is unrealistic. The second type of mindset is a health-focused mindset, and it is a healthy approach to weight loss. It involves eating foods that are taking care of your body rather than focusing on quick weight loss. I want you to understand something: You are not in control of losing 6 stones, which is equivalent to 31.5 kg. You are only in control of taking one step at a time that can lead towards your weight loss. That is the only thing you can control right now. I suggest you focus only on your behaviour, and actions you are going to take. Success will only come if you concentrate on what is within your control and what you can do, rather than on the things that are too big or too far away in the future. Losing a quarter of your body weight within the next two years sounds like a big task to achieve, while swapping white rice for brown rice in your next meal is so much easier to accomplish. You are in full control of it, and this small change can make a big difference in your future.

Focus only on what is within your reach — your next meal or the next workout you are going to have. Take one step at a time. Trying to take too many steps within a short period of time will overwhelm you, and you may stumble and fall. This will not make you faster. It is likely to slow you down or even take you back to the beginning where you started. When a diet mindset does not get satisfied, it causes disappointment, and you give up on the idea of losing weight. A diet mindset has unrealistic expectations. It wants you to lose all the excess weight within a few days. A diet mindset is impatient, and it does not accept the fact that the human body is not able to do that, and it does not know that you spent most of your adult life being overweight. After losing 1 kg a week for four weeks, a diet mindset gets disappointed and feels cheated. It looks in the mirror and sees the tire around the waist, the hips are too big and the legs are not slim yet. The difference from four weeks ago is hardly noticeable. In dieters’ minds, this is simply not good enough. Losing 1–2 lb or 0.5–1 kg a week is safe, very achievable, and recommended by many dieticians, doctors, and nutritionists. Think about this: If you keep losing 2 lb or 1 kg a week, you will be about 100 lb or 50 kg lighter this time next year. Aiming for more will not bring better results, as it is not possible to keep losing so much weight so quickly. Losing weight too quickly often leads to gaining it back quickly. Losing weight fast is possible, but it is not sustainable. Rapid weight loss often occurs only in the first few days or the first few weeks, and it is caused by losing water and not losing fat, unfortunately. After losing water weight, things start slowing down, and your weight plateaus, or you even gain back some weight. Most dieters start their diet by cutting portion sizes and drastically restricting carbohydrate-rich foods. You will notice that during this period your weight comes off easily. You can easily lose a few inches/centimetres off your waist, and lose a few pounds/kilograms, but as already mentioned, the water that you lost is not the fat, unfortunately.

Once you reintroduce carbohydrates back into your diet, you will notice your waist expanding, and the weight that you lost will most probably start creeping back on again. At this stage, most dieters seek comfort in foods and start eating more, piling their plate with the wrong types of food. This behaviour brings comfort, but it is short-lived comfort that leads to a feeling of guilt, disappointment, and frustration, and then you start beating yourself up…and the cycle continues. There is one last thing I want to say in this section, and that is, nearly every day, I meet people, particularly women, who desperately want to lose weight. I notice most of them talk about food in the following manner: I must not eat xxx. I need to avoid eating xxx. I like eating xxx, but I know I should not eat it. I am craving xxx so much, but I should not eat any of it. I am on a diet, therefore I cannot eat xxx. At home, I have a box of xxx, and I must not open it; otherwise, I will eat all of it, and I must not eat any. Have you noticed people often talk about food like it is something that is bad for us, is damaging, can hurt us, should be avoided, must be gotten rid of, not allowed to have... I suggest you replace your current language with the sentence, “I can have unhealthy foods if I want to, but I am choosing NOT to!” It is very empowering to say this and to feel this way. Food is fuel for the body, and it provides us with life. What you do with the food could be detrimental for your health, or it could be the best cure. It is something you need to pay more attention to and focus on the way you eat, the way you cook, the amount of food you consume, and the quality of food you eat. Remember, food is not the enemy. We all need it. You just need to learn how to handle it better. Concentrate on enjoying healthy foods rather than avoiding unhealthy foods. And focus on what you can eat rather than what you cannot. Eating healthy should not be a chore but something that you enjoy — and even more enjoyable is how healthy the food makes you feel.

One of the ways to make sure that your mindset always stays on the right path is to plan. Plan your meals and activities in advance, so you can struggle less and succeed more.

Planning If you are struggling to lose weight, I suggest you start planning. Planning is the key to your success. It keeps you disciplined and more organised. Meal planning or scheduling time for exercise will keep you more focused and help you stick to it. Planning meals in advance is an important habit, and it is part of a healthy lifestyle. Planning will help you make healthier decisions, and once this behaviour becomes a habit, you will notice that leading a healthy lifestyle is not so difficult anymore. Planning prevents people from making bad food choices and overeating. It puts control in your hands over the outcome of the situation, creates discipline, and makes things happen. When you start your weight-loss journey, I suggest you take your weekly menu planning seriously. It will help you change your diet and make healthier food choices, which will support your daily health goals. Think about this: If you are on a mission to lose weight, and you plan your menu in advance, it is unlikely that you will include foods such as pepperoni pizza, sausage rolls, or ice cream in your weekly menu plan. Planning in advance will make you more conscious of what you are eating and will create a better chance of succeeding. You will be eating healthier foods and will achieve better results. I noticed that I have not spent much time in this book talking about the importance of drinking water. But water is the most important nutrient that we need, and we cannot live without it. Water is essential for our life, and it supports every single cell in the body. Many of my clients, when they first come to me, do not drink much water. I advise them to find ways to remember to drink more. I sometimes suggest they put a reminder on their phone to have a glass of water every hour. If you do this regularly, it will become a habit. Drinking plenty of water is a must. I would also like to suggest you find some free time every week to look through different recipes and find something you like eating. My advice is to try one new dish every week. Learning to cook new recipes will make

your diet more interesting. This will also give you the opportunity to try new foods, taste different flavours, and make your diet healthier by providing a variety of nutrients to your body. Planning to make your weight loss permanent should not be focused only on what you eat. Do not forget to move your body whenever you can and wherever you can. And do not forget to plan your self-care. Your self-care can include absolutely anything — spending time with your friends, soaking in a warm bath before bedtime, or walking on the beach in the sunset. It is important that things you like doing are a part of your everyday life. I want you to think now of all the things you like doing, and write them down. Schedule times when you will do those things; write it in your diary, and stick to it. Make sure that the things you like doing, you do often.

Write Everything Down Writing everything down that you put in your body will keep you on board and help you keep track of what you eat, your portion sizes, meal times, etc. When you write things down, you will find out what works for you and what does not work at all. This will show you what changes you need to make, and what habits you need to develop. Here are some suggestions on what things to write down and why. Some of them, I already mentioned in the previous section. They are all an important part of your weight-loss journey. Meal planning and shopping list Doing a weekly menu plan will help you do a shopping list. Allocate the same time to do your menu for a week. Make it a habit. Follow your plan 80% of the time. Another 20% of the time, allow yourself to break the rule. One of the reasons why people struggle with weight loss is because they try too hard. They want to be perfect 100% of the time. It is much easier to succeed when you are not too strict, and not perfect 100% of the time. Schedule time to exercise Allocate time for exercise on a weekly basis, and write it in your diary. Not writing it down can cause you to miss it. It is good to start getting into the habit of exercising a few times a week, even if it is only 30 minutes, three times per week. Keep a food journal To keep yourself on track, keep a food journal. I recommend you write everything down. A food journal is an important tool to use when you are trying to lose weight. It was suggested that people who do not keep a food diary often underestimate how much food they are eating. They tend to believe they eat much less than what they actually do. Do body measurements Check your body measurements instead of weighing yourself all the time. Losing body fat is so much more important than losing weight. Measure your chest, waist, and hips. You can use an ordinary tape measure to do

that. Keeping an eye on body measurements is a much better indicator of someone’s health than the scale. Writing down everything that you put in your mouth — all food and drinks — will help you to eat less and eat healthier. Doing a food journal will highlight the triggers for your eating — whether it is hunger or non-hunger eating, or whether it is healthy or unhealthy eating. A journal will help you to be more aware of your food and drink choices, and this will help you manage your actions better. In Chapter 2 of this book, I asked you to go to the guidebook in the accompanying book website, www.getsparkleback.com, where you could find a worksheet called Food and Mood Diary. If you have not done it yet, I would like to encourage you to do it now, as this exercise will assist you in finding the connection between your emotions and the food you eat, and will help you better understand how your feelings affect your diet, and how your diet influences the way you feel.

Celebrate Small Wins Many people focus only on the end result, not realising that everyday efforts they make are equally important. A big win is a collection of small wins. They never happen overnight, and they are always the result of a series of small successes. It is important to track all your small wins and successes, as each of them matters. Unfortunately, many small successes pass unnoticed, as our eyes often tend to be glued to the end goal. Focusing on the things in the distance can prevent you from seeing what is in front of you. Therefore, you may not give yourself praise for your small achievements, because you cannot even see them. People have a habit of comparing themselves with others, and they often see the grass greener on the other side. My advice is to stop comparing yourself with other people. So what if someone lost more weight than you. This is not a race, and making comparisons is not going to help. This is your journey. You have a different metabolic system and a different set of genes. You react to stress differently, and your body reacts to the food you eat in a different way. Celebrating small wins will teach you to recognise your successes. Every little effort you make, and every little win you achieve, deserves acknowledgement on your part. Do not dismiss them. Be proud of them. They will motivate you, encourage you, and give you confidence to carry on even when the world around you is falling apart. Those small wins will take you to the place where you want to end up. Believe in them. Celebrate them! Celebrating small victories along the way keeps you focused. They track your progress towards your big win. This is crucial. They will help you stay positive when trying to reach your goal and will keep you energised psychologically as well as physically. People often notice negatives about their lives, but on the other hand, they often find it very hard to notice all the positives.

On your weight-loss journey, you may experience lots of setbacks. A setback should not be seen as a failure; it teaches you what you did wrong so you can do it better next time. Always try to make your comeback stronger than your setback. Small wins are satisfying; they give us instant gratification and a small push that is so desperately needed at times. By celebrating small wins, our brain produces dopamine. It is a pleasure hormone that makes us feel better and makes us feel like winners. Now, I want you to do the following: Get an empty jar. Let’s call it a jar of small wins. (By the way, it has been proven that it works.) Daily, or at least once per week, write on a small piece of paper your victory of the day or week, and put it in your jar of small wins. Open your jar when you have a setback, and inhale your small victories. Read them, visualise them, and be proud of them. But most importantly, be proud of yourself. Celebrating small wins will help you acknowledge your efforts. It is important to acknowledge that you tried. This will increase your odds of reaching your end goal. Remember, no win is too small or not worth celebrating. Celebrate your efforts, and the wins will come.

Chapter 10 Areas of Your Life That Matter “How long you live is less important than how healthy you are along the way.” S. Jay Olshansky

Sleep Sleep is one of the most valuable areas of your life, and it plays an important role in keeping you healthy, but many people do not get enough sleep. Good quality sleep is essential for your health, weight loss, and general well-being. Lack of sleep can lead to obesity, and if you do not have enough sleep, you are at a higher risk of getting affected by one or more illnesses caused by lack of sleep. Many studies have examined the effects of lack of sleep and weight gain, and they discovered that there is a strong correlation between sleep and weight. It has been proven that people who sleep more and have good quality sleep experience higher energy levels and make better food choices, while people who sleep less find themselves choosing more unhealthy foods that are rich in simple carbohydrates and more damaging to their health. Numerous studies suggest feeling tired is strongly related to reaching for unhealthy foods. Here are some health benefits of good sleep: Improves memory and concentration Increases energy Lowers stress level Reduces inflammation in your body Provides you with a better quality of life Helps to stabilise your blood sugar levels Lowers your blood pressure levels Improves your overall health Disadvantages of lack of sleep: Weakens your immune system Increases risk of cardiovascular disease Contributes to weight gain Makes you irritable and lethargic Affects your blood sugar levels Causes changes to hormones that regulate your appetite

Decreases your life expectancy Affects your health, so you are more likely to develop diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure Sleep is equally important for losing weight as it is for maintaining a healthy weight. Lack of sleep can affect your willpower and desire to eat healthy, so you are more likely to reach for junk food. When we are asleep, our body heals itself and repairs chemical imbalances in the body. Lack of sleep causes a disruption to the normal functioning of the body, and it affects the production of cortisol, which is a stress hormone responsible for storing fat. Cortisol can not only affect the physical state of the body, but it can also impact your mental and emotional state. Lack of sleep also causes the imbalance of hormones that control appetite, and this can have a tremendous impact on the quantity of food you consume, and the quality of food you choose to eat. Two hormones caused by lack of sleep are leptin and ghrelin. Ghrelin is a hormone that signals hunger in the brain. This causes us to eat more. Leptin is a hormone that is produced by the fat cells in the body, and it signals fullness in the brain. As these hormones are affected by lack of sleep, your ability to feel full will be affected, so you will keep eating, but you will feel hungrier and feel less full. This will have an impact on what you choose to eat and how much you eat. One final thing I want to say about this topic is this: If you are serious about losing weight, then you need to prioritise your sleep and have it at the top of your priority list. If you are struggling to sleep between 6–8 hours every night, then I suggest you evaluate your sleep patterns. Here are some tips that can help you make necessary changes for a better night’s sleep: Develop a sleep routine – Try to go to bed and get up at the same time every day and night, and follow the same bedtime routine every night, so that it can become a habit. This will keep your internal clock on track. Have a warm bath before bedtime – It increases your body temperature, so it helps you fall asleep.

Do not eat a heavy meal for at least three hours before bedtime – Your digestive system is likely to keep you awake. Read a book in bed – Reading a book will relax you. Stop surfing the internet, watching TV, or playing computer games just before bedtime – They will prevent you from falling asleep quickly. Avoid alcoholic or caffeinated drinks after 6 p.m. – Alcohol and caffeine can impact your quality of sleep. Studies show that applying healthy sleep practices are strongly related to better quality sleep. Therefore, the implementation of some or all of the tips I mentioned here will improve your sleep, which will consequently help you with your health and weight loss, and improve your quality of life.

Stress Stress can play a big part in preventing you from having a healthy weight. As discussed in the previous section, cortisol is the hormone produced by the body when your body is under stress. The problem with stress is that your body cannot distinguish the difference between different types of stress, and it responds to any kind of stress in a similar way. Imagine this scenario: You wake up in the morning feeling stressed because you did not have enough sleep. Then you go to work, and you feel stressed because of deadlines you need to meet. Then you have a disagreement with your boss, and then you eat highly processed and sugary foods, which spike your blood sugar levels. Then, after work, you hit the gym and do long cardio exercises, which stresses your body even more. Then you get home and your partner tells you some bad news, so you then have a few glasses of wine before bedtime, which affects your quality of sleep, and the story continues. Everything I have mentioned here can put your body under stress, and this is the kind of lifestyle that most people live. You can see now how everyday stress can become such a big issue, and if you do not stop it, it will quickly accelerate so high that it might start affecting your physical health as well as your mental health. It is important to remind yourself that anything can cause stress in the body, and this includes having an argument, fighting infection, being ill, suffering from disease, doing excessive exercise, using stimulants excessively, experiencing blood sugar imbalance, etc. The body reacts the same way when it is presented with any kind of danger. You may not think of something as being dangerous, but your body might perceive it that way, and it will react accordingly. This will spike your adrenalin level, which will then affect your cortisol levels. This will result in raising your blood sugar levels, and the vicious circle will continue. When your body is under stress, it produces stress hormones. Long-term stress can prevent your metabolism from burning fat, and will weaken your

immune system. This can be extremely damaging to your health and can cause many health conditions that will impact your quality of life. It is crucial that you decrease your stress levels if you experience any of the following: Anxiety Poor quality sleep Hormonal issues Overeating or lack of appetite Moodiness Depression Inability to control your anger and frustration Digestive issues Weight gain or weight loss Stress can also affect your thyroid and immune system, and it can create toxins in your body. Here is how you can relieve your stress levels: Avoid skipping meals, and eat small, regular meals. Include sources of fat, protein, and carbohydrates with every meal. Eat slowly and mindfully. Avoid eating refined carbohydrates. Eat a variety of foods, and include a variety of colours. Reduce consuming stimulants, such as cigarettes, caffeine, and sugar. Do gentle exercise. Do things that calm your body, mind, and spirit, such as yoga, meditation, walking in nature, having a massage, etc. Make time and space for yourself. Stress can affect every part of our being; therefore, it is important to find ways to keep stress levels low, whether it is through doing yoga, healthy eating, having a massage, doing regular gentle exercise, or simply going to bed earlier. I suggest you find something that you like doing, pay attention to how it makes you feel, and do it regularly. Sometimes very simple behavioural changes can make a big difference. Deep, slow breathing is only one of the ways that might be able to help you

relax and slow down. Mindful eating is another simple but very effective way of calming down your body and reducing your stress levels. Becoming mindful of the food you eat can help you make better dietary choices and give you more control over your eating habits. Learning the triggers that are causing your stress to rise and finding ways to reduce your stress levels by implementing necessary changes, can have a profound impact on your stress levels, health, and weight loss. When you learn what your body needs, and how to look after it, your body will respond positively to the changes you introduce.

Hormones Hormones have an important function in our body. They regulate our metabolism, weight, and internal body temperature, and they affect our mood, growth, sleep, and more. In this section, we are going to focus mainly on the hormones connected to menopause — oestrogen and progesterone. With age, we all lose muscle mass, which contributes to an increase in body fat, and in addition to stress, lack of sleep, bad diet, and little or no exercise, we must not ignore the impact of hormonal changes on weight gain during menopause. Many menopausal women experience weight gain, and in this stage of a woman’s life, the excess weight starts to show predominantly around the abdominal area. Oestrogen and progesterone are two of the primary female sex hormones. Around menopause, the body stops producing much progesterone and oestrogen. This hormonal change causes many disruptions in a woman’s body. The metabolism slows down, and this affects the speed at which women burn fat. Oestrogen regulates metabolism and affects weight. One form of oestrogen, called estradiol, decreases during menopause. When this happens, the body may start using starches ineffectively. This tends to increase fat storage, which contributes to weight gain, as well as negatively impacting the bones and heart. Some of the reasons for hormonal imbalance around menopause include: Poor liver function Nutritional deficiencies Low-fibre diet Diets high in saturated fat Low thyroid Overweight Stress

It has also been proven that hormonal imbalances can affect sleep. In the section on Sleep, we explored how lack of sleep can negatively influence our energy levels and our food choices, which then result in weight gain. Many menopausal women experience trouble sleeping, and the lack of sleep can affect their overall health. So, what you can do is this: Exercise: Regular exercise helps to balance hormones. Aerobic exercise is great for losing weight and maintaining a healthy weight, and strength training helps to build muscle, which helps the body to burn fat more efficiently. Limit alcohol and caffeine: Alcohol provides you with empty calories, which means you do not benefit from any nutritional values, but you get lots of calories from consuming it. Both alcohol and caffeine can interfere with your hormones. Watch what you eat: Add phytoestrogen-rich foods to your meals, such as legumes, pulses, green vegetables, and seeds. Also, including plenty of protein, soluble fibre, and healthy fats in your diet will control your menopausal symptoms, which may help you lose weight. A diet high in sugar and refined carbohydrates will contribute to weight gain. Pay attention to your portion sizes: Make sure that you eat small portions of food. You are probably much less active now than when you were in your 20s or 30s, which means your body needs less food as you are not using as much energy. Eating healthy fats is one of the most important elements for balancing and proper functioning of the hormones. Healthy fats are very important for the female reproductive system. They include avocado, fatty fish, nuts, seeds, and coconut oil. The more balanced your hormones are, the more successful you are going to be with your weight loss and your well-being in general. There are a variety of factors influencing weight gain in women during the menopausal phase, but having a balanced diet and leading a healthy lifestyle can play a crucial role in supporting your health and weight loss.

Self-Care To be able to have a healthy body and mind, it is important to nourish your body from the inside out. Choose to do things that give you pleasure; eat foods that make you healthy; exercise in moderation; drink plenty of water; enjoy fresh air, and make sure that you give your body enough rest and sleep. Your mental and physical health depends on the quality of your selfcare. In addition to what I have already mentioned, it is also necessary to include things such as spending time with people you love, and making sure you never speak badly about yourself. Spending time with people you love will energise you, and never speaking badly about yourself will help you remain confident and believe in yourself. Which element of self-care is the most important to focus on? I would say they are all equally important. All aspects have to work together in order for you to feel your best. Many of my clients put themselves in the back row and focus all their energy on their spouses, children, elderly parents, work colleagues, demanding bosses, needy friends, and everyone else. At the end of the day, they have very little time and energy for themselves. Self-care is not selfish. It is essential for your well-being. Many people are so involved with the busyness of their lives that they often forget what truly matters to them. Some people believe that being overwhelmed is part of who they are, and they feel stuck in the turmoil of it all. If that is how you feel, then creating a life balance and focusing on selfcare is very important. It is a necessity. Paying attention to your self-care will give you permission to find time for yourself and give you control of the things you feel unable to control. Self-care and me-time goes hand in hand. It means finding time for yourself, recognising what you need, and taking care of your needs. It can include anything that makes you feel better about yourself or anything that can lift your spirits. You should never leave yourself behind everyone else. Your me-time is the time for you to connect with yourself. It is your gift to

yourself and to others, so you can offer people you love the best of yourself when they need you. Finding time for yourself will enable you to create inner peace and comfort, which will allow you to take better care of your needs and the needs of people in your life who matter to you. Sometimes it is important to stop, breathe, collect your thoughts, and remember what you want in life. I think we often forget how important it is sometimes to pause. It is hard to understand how you feel and to know what you want if you constantly live in the fast lane, unable to stop and have a look around to see what is happening and where you are going. If self-care is not part of your life, then you need to make changes to your priority list. Move your self-care higher up on the scale. People often chase what they want, totally ignoring what they need, which in many cases is so much more important. Sometimes what we need should be prioritised over what we want, and when what we want becomes what we need, then we get rewarded. Rewards can come in different forms. One of them is that we create an understanding of who we really are, which results in developing a greater relationship with ourselves. Self-care does not need to include spending money or going anywhere. Trying to get rid of unhelpful beliefs, and using empowering self-talk, is a small part of self-care, but a very important part.

Be Who You Really Are Many people struggle to find peace and harmony in their lives. And no matter what they do, no matter what they try, it does not seem to make any difference. Those individuals often do not believe they have the potential to achieve something so profound that it can help them create their deepest meaning and life purpose. On the other hand, there are people out there who seem to get whatever they want in life. They can easily find what matters to them, and they are able to deal effortlessly with the complexities of their lives. They understand their why and easily connect to their meaning of life. I have spoken to many people who believe that others have a greater ability than themselves, and more opportunities to achieve happiness. I agree there is a wide variety of internal and external factors influencing our ability to be more or less successful in some areas of our lives, but none of them play a single deciding factor. They all have a strong influence on us, and they include human biology, past experiences, our community, personal circumstances, and many others. All together, they make each of us who we are, and create our uniqueness. Some of these influential factors are in our full awareness, and some of them are not. Our conscious mind makes plans and identifies ways forward, but our subconscious mind understands the meanings and the reasons away from logic. I recognise and respect people’s diversity and their unique abilities, and I strongly believe that the quality of people’s lives depends greatly on individual choices and the level of motivation to succeed, and not on their skills and cognitive abilities. There is a contrast in the way each of us sees the world. What creates happiness for one person might be very different from what is causing happiness in another person’s life. Recognising which parts of your life fulfil your needs and dreams, and which parts take the fulfilment away, is what makes the difference between your life and someone else’s. Life does not just happen, unless you let it happen.

You are not always in control of whether you are going to achieve something, but you are always in control of how hard you are going to work for what you want to achieve. Working towards your goals is the process that helps you grow, develop, and become the person you desire to be. The end result, in many cases, is not what makes you different. It is the process that you choose to follow to get there that makes all the difference. Many people often try comparing themselves to others, not realising that because of their uniqueness, their wishes, goals, and desires will not match with someone else’s, as they are unique to them. What you want and who you are is going to take you on a different path. No path is the same, as no person is the same. Find the path that is right for you, one that suits your needs. I understand that the grass may be greener on the other side, but that is not your grass. Give yourself permission to be who you are, and the meaning of life will find you.

Create a New Self-Image Are you someone who believes you can, or you cannot? Do you believe you are someone who always fails, or someone who strives? Your self-image represents your belief of yourself, in your own eyes. It is your perception of who you are and how you see yourself. How much you can achieve and what you are capable of is also determined by your selfimage. Your behaviours and actions are also affected by it. It is important to be aware that YOU keep changing. You keep changing constantly, and it never ends. You keep changing through your experiences and through your understanding of the world around you, as well as the one that is within you. This plays a major part in creating who you are and who you will become. During this process, you develop your perceptions, values, and beliefs. Some of them are in your consciousness, and you are fully aware of them, while the large part of them are in your subconscious and appear to be unknown to you, but they are equally important. Often, this subconscious part is more important than the conscious one, but both parts are constantly developing, constantly changing, and always asking questions. The conscious part creates ideas, and the subconscious part makes them happen. Your beliefs do not develop outside of you; your beliefs are developed within your cognitive system, and then they spread to other areas of your life and your being, and they become a part of your identity. Remember this: Your beliefs control all your actions; your actions are influenced by who you are, and who you are affects what you do and who you will become. I have been privileged to work with many clients over the past 20-plus years of my life, and they have taught me more than I could have ever been able to teach myself. I feel honoured for having been a part of so many wonderful people’s life journeys, helping them to recognise and understand their possibilities and limitations, and to focus on their strengths and accept their weaknesses. This often played a major role in moving from the place of stagnation to the place where they wanted to be.

I believe everything in life is down to knowing who you are, because that is where it all begins. Once you make a conscious effort to get to know yourself, you will stop looking outside and will heal yourself from the inside. Your outside world, which is visible and often challenging, is simply a reflection of your inner world. Inside is the place where all the beginnings are born. The world that we cannot see creates our vision, our purpose, our reason to live, and our desire for all our goals to be achieved. It is not what we see with our eyes that gives us what we need. Look inside if you want to find happiness and create a balanced life. Let’s not finish this book yet — let it continue to be part of your journey. You are at the beginning of the rest of your life. There is still a long way to go. Hang in there, and use these words as your guide: Be gentle to yourself and be kind; acknowledge and accept mistakes that you have made; recognise your wins however small they are; celebrate all your victories, and give yourself permission to be who you really are. Enjoy the journey! Lots of love XX

Silvana

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Helpful Resources My Books: Live Healthy on a Tight Schedule: 5 Easy Ways for Busy People to Develop Sustainable Habits Around Food, Exercise and Self-Care Get Fit and Healthy at Your Own Home in 20 Minutes or Less: An Essential Daily Exercise Plan and Simple Meal Ideas to Lose Weight and Get the Body You Want Get Fit and Healthy on a Tight Schedule 2 Books in 1 Beat Your Menopause Weight Gain: Balance Hormones, Stop MiddleAge Spread, Boost Your Health and Vitality Free Yourself From Hot Flushes and Night Sweats: The Essential Guide to a Happy And Healthy Menopause Free Mini-Courses: Discover 10 Secrets of Successful Weight Loss This Is How to Start Eating Less Sugar Learn How to Boost Your Energy – 11 Easy Ways Your Guide to a Happy and Healthy Menopause This Is How to Lose Weight in Your 40s and Beyond Free Mini-Courses Available at: www.silvanahealthandnutrition.com/course/ To Help You Achieve Your Health and Weight Loss Goals, Book Your Complimentary Call With Me at: www.silvanahealthandnutrition.com/booking/