Fake History: 101 Things that Never Happened 9780753559673, 9780753559703, 0753559706

Table of contents :
Introduction
What is fake history and why is it bad?
101 things that never happened:
1 Napoleon Bonaparte shot the nose off the Sphinx
2 Hugo Boss designed the Nazi uniforms
3 Marie Antoinette said ‘Let them eat cake’
4 That famous person said that smart thing
5 Star Trek showed the first interracial kiss on television in 1968
6 EastEnders showed the first same-sex kiss on television in 1989
7 Vikings had horns on their helmets
8 People ate potatoes in the Middle Ages
9 The word ‘hangover’ originated from passed-out drunks leaning on a rope
10 Santa wears red because of Coca-Cola
11 Germany invented the concentration camp
12 A narrow doorway stopped monks in Portugal getting fat
13 The FBI coined the term ‘serial killer’ in the 1970s
14 The word honeymoon comes from giving the married couple a month’s supply of mead
15 The famous 1920s actress Clara Bow was a Nazi
16 Coca-Cola used Nazi slogans and symbols in its German adverts
17 This dog was sent to prison for murdering a cat
18 A soldier carried a donkey across a minefield during the Second World War
19 This woman made a dramatic dash for freedom at a Berlin border crossing
20 The bird-beak plague doctor mask is medieval
21 This Second World War photo shows a German soldier using a mobile phone
22 Toddler François Bertillon was arrested and had a mugshot taken
23 Members of the media, doctors and nurses were hanged in public in Nuremberg in 1945
24 The first depiction of Jesus is in a museum in Cairo
25 Victorian prostitutes used tiny candles to time their clients
26 Medieval people all had terrible teeth
27 These windows were made so people could still buy wine during the Black Death
28 This is a photo of the first Black American female lawyer, Charlotte E. Ray
29 A nineteenth-century princess and a countess had a topless duel
30 This beautiful French house was built in 1509
31 Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb
32 An angry maharaja used ten Rolls-Royces to clean the streets because of a rude salesman
33 Napoleon was short
34 Newton came up with his theory of gravity when an apple fell on his head
35 Nero fiddled while Rome burned
36 The Roman vomitorium was a room for vomiting
37 Staircases in castles go clockwise so defenders have an advantage during fighting
38 The nursery rhyme ‘Ring a Ring o’ Roses’ is about the plague
39 The two-finger gesture dates back to medieval archers at Agincourt
40 Lady Godiva rode a horse in the nude because of taxes
41 The Victorians had vampire hunting kits
42 Einstein flunked maths
43 Ancient and medieval statues and buildings were always white or unpainted
44 In the Middle Ages millions of women were accused of witchcraft and burned at the stake
45 The Nazi salute has Roman origins
46 Vikings were ‘buried’ at sea on a burning ship
47 The Bayeux Tapestry is a tapestry (and Harold was shot in the eye by an arrow)
48 Nelson’s last words were ‘Kiss me, Hardy’
49 Hundreds of books were left floating in the street after the Paris flood of 1910
50 Carrots were made orange by the Dutch in homage to their royal family
51 Carl Benz invented the car
52 This is a photo of Bertha Benz and her sons during the first ever car trip in 1888
53 In the Middle Ages, nobody except the clergy could read
54 The first ever video or computer game was Pong
55 The Great Wall of China is the only human-made object visible from space
56 Medieval people thought the world was flat
57 In the Middle Ages, everyone emptied chamber pots into the street, often from windows
58 Queen Elizabeth I bathed once a year ‘whether she needed it or not’
59 The phrase ‘Upper crust’ comes from the rich getting the top of the bread (the poor got the bottom)
60 A long beard killed its owner
61 Queen Elizabeth II bowed to Emperor Haile Selassie
62 Medieval Europeans were filthy and had to be taught about basic hygiene and soap by the Moors
63 The first time women wore shorts they caused a car crash
64 A man tested American football helmets by bashing his head into a wall
65 Paris Hilton invented the selfie
66 Wojtek the bear was enlisted into a Polish unit in the Second World War but switched sides and joined the Germans
67 This is the guillotine blade that killed Marie Antoinette
68 The Minions from Despicable Me were based on photos of Nazi experiments on children
69 The White House was painted white to cover up damage after the British set fire to it
70 The Tudors used spices to cover up the taste of bad meat
71 Erin O’Keefe was eaten by mountain rats in 1876
72 Queen Elizabeth II threw food at poor people in Africa
73 In the 1930s, Marlene Dietrich was detained by the police for wearing trousers
74 Two bullets collided at the battle of Gallipoli in 1915 – a billion-to-one chance
75 These mysterious photos show an abandoned medieval village
76 Hugh Hefner’s grandpa invented the Playboy Bunnies
77 This is the world’s first Miss World
78 This is the world’s first robot
79 The pyramids were built by slaves
80 This is a photo of Bill the Butcher, the infamous nineteenth-century street-gang leader
81 The world’s first computer virus was a universal message of peace
82 Europeans built a bridge in Ethiopia but locals couldn’t repair it and crossed the river with ropes
83 In Victorian times, Dr Batty’s Asthma Cigarettes were advertised as good for your health
84 This massive device was the world’s first camera
85 This is the first cat photo ever taken
86 This is the first dog photo ever taken
87 The Victorians covered furniture legs because they were too arousing
88 During the Middle Ages, there were torches everywhere
89 Beethoven was Black
90 These women in China in 1922 are being punished for the crime of witchcraft
91 Thumb down meant death for the gladiators of ancient Rome
92 This horrifying photo shows serial killer Leonarda Cianciulli making soap out of humans
93 These girls are saying a sad goodbye to sailors during the Second World War
94 Secret agents used amazing walking-backwards spy shoes to confuse the Nazis
95 The Iron Maiden and the Pear of Anguish were brutal medieval torture devices
96 During the Middle Ages, people drank beer instead of water
97 Hitler invented the motorway
98 When knights went on crusade they put chastity belts on their wives
99 The flush toilet was invented by Thomas Crapper
100 A baby falling out of a window was rescued by the same man twice
101 This is an amazing Art Nouveau villa in Bucharest