Your Soul's Compass: What is Spiritual Guidance 9781401907761

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Is Siiruti m

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A Joan Borysenko, Ph.D

Gordon

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Dveirin, Ed.D.

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Your Why What is

are

.

we

sW's Compass we

here? Are

fulfilling life's

purpose?

evolutionary intelligence trying to express through

change and uncertainty, of

us? In this time of global

people are asking these age-old

spiritual indirection,

questions with renewed curiosity. There's a thirst for

—

meaning and purpose a dawning realization that happiness isn't a commodity that can be bought with a gold card. Fulfillment and joy arise naturally from the capacity to be present to ing and to listen for bilities in

any

life

as

it's

unfold-

—and discern —the best possi-

situation,

which inform enlightened,

compassionate action. This

is

the hope that spiritual

guidance provides for us and for our world.

Joan Borysenko and Gordon Dveirin consulted 27 Sages from diverse wisdom traditions to explore the nature of spiritual guidance. Christian, Jewish,

Hindu, Buddhist, Quaker, shamanic, and secu-

Sufi,

lar

viewpoints provided a rich tapestry of insights.

Several

no

themes emerged:

First,

definitive "10 steps" for the journe^ oi

fully

no map, becoming

that there's

human—what Joan and Gordon call Homo sapiens person of wisdom anc compassion). But

caritas (a

there are guiding principles that can help us recognize

whether or not we're on the right for stillness, curiosity,

The capacities

and comfort with uncertainty

cultivate receptivity, rather religious

track.

than reinforcing secular or

fundamentalisms that promote

rigid, in-the-

box thinking. The resulting stance of openness allows a deeper reality

—containing more possibilities—to

emerge. The charge

emergent

is

then to discern whether the

possibilities serve

the

fears

and

desires of

ego or institutions, or whether they're more

be expressions of

Spirit

—or wisdom—

Joan and Gordon's hope help you

make the life

work.

that this

.

book

will

move beyond limited ways of knowing, and

open up the

own

is

at

likely to

vast evolutionary intelligence

needed to

leap tow? Yd fuller self-realization in your

and inAne world.

"

}

Praise for

"An

7^#/~ ScHUs s CcHriAct^S

elegant, simple,

and practical guide

your higher self and experience the

field

to get in

touch with

of infinite possibilities/'

— Deepak Chopra, the author of Buddha: A

Story of Enlightenment

"Your Soul's Compass by Joan Borysenko and Gordon Dveirin refreshingly challenges the 'light unto ourselves' sensibilities

of the modern spiritual marketplace. truth that direction

that not only do

revelation,

change,

us all to the simple

from an intelligence greater than our own ego

is

authentic spiritual evolution. The book's greatest message

critical for is

It points

of much

we have

to

open ourselves

but even more important,

we must have

if we

to the experience

want our world

the courage to act on

what

is

of direct

in crisis to

revealed to us.

— Andrew Cohen, the founder of EnlightenNext and What Is

Enlightenment? magazine

"Your Soul's Compass the

is

a treasure

way you move through your

explores in completely original

How do you

lead a

life

that's

life.

—a book that

Beautiful

and provocative,

is

it

How can you distinguish of the ego? How can lead-

guided by love?

opposed as Hitler and Gandhi both

divinely inspired? Simple yet profound, pragmatic this

change

ways the most important questions:

between authentic guidance and the desires ers as radically

will

a book you'll want

to reread

and keep

feel they're

being

and transforming,

close at

hand."

— Sara Davidson, the author of Leap! and Loose Change

"Surely no journey

is

own

the journey into our

book, Joan

more promising, yet more problematic, than hearts. In this

and Gordon have done

marvelous and insightful

immense

us the

service

of distilling

the guidance of 27 sages from a wide array of spiritual lineages.

A

delicious feast awaits the reader

—a true pleasure

to

partake!"

— William Ury, the author of The Power of a Positive No my beliefs

"As a Christian, all spiritual

draws

me

in

God and

the consciousness that we're

beings yearning for a deeper connection to our Source

into this

mind-expanding book. The convictions of 27

sages sharing their insights on the spiritual journey

and our soul's

maturation gives us clarifying revelations into our understanding

and imagination of how you and I can draw

closer to

God."

— entertainer Naomi Judd "This book

is

such a gift

contribution by launching the

ing

what spiritual guidance

in helping the

world

to the

world! It makes a significant

first real interfaith is

and perceiving

in its evolution

dialogue on identify-

the potential

it

has

toward greater compassion."

— Reverend Dr. Ruth Ragovin

w

our

Also by Joan Borysenko, Ph.D.

Books Minding the Body, Mending the Mind Guilt

Is

the Teacher, Love Is the Lesson Fire in the Soul

Pocketful of Miracles

The Power of the Mind to Heal (with Miroslav Borysenko, Ph.D.) On Wings of Light (with Joan Drescher) 7 Paths

to

God*

A Woman's Book of Life A Woman's Journey to God Inner Peace for Busy People*

Women* Wisdom for

Inner Peace for Busy

Saying Yes

Seventy

Change: Essential Your Journey (with Gordon Dveirin, Ed.D.)*

to

Audio Programs Times Seven: On the Spiritual Art of Forgiveness A Woman's Spiritual Retreat Menopause:

Power

Initiation into

The Power of the Mind

Heal

to

Your Spiritual Quest

(And please

see the

Hay House

catalog for

over a dozen guided-meditation CDs, unabridged

books on CD, and inspirational

lectures.)

Video Programs Inner Peace for Busy People*

The Power of the Mind *Available from

to

Heal*

Hay House

Hay House USA: www.hayhouse.com® Hay House Australia: www.hayhouse.com.au Hay House UK: www.hayhouse.co.uk Hay House South Africa: www.hayhouse.co.za Hay House India: www.hayhouse.co.in

Please visit

1

Your

lA/fuv£ 7s SjUrLtiitu/ Gtu4/ttic&?

Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. tuuC

Gordon Dveirin, Ed.D.

HAY HOUSE

HAY HOUSE, Carlsbad, California

London

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Vancouver

Sydney •

•

•

INC.

New York

City

Johannesburg

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New

Delhi

Copyright

© 2007

by Joan Borysenko and Gordon Franklin Dveirin

Published and distributed in the United States by: Hay House, Inc.: www.hayhouse. com • Published and distributed in Australia by: Hay House Australia Pty. Ltd.: www.hayhouse.com.au • Published and distributed in the United Kingdom by: Hay House UK, Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.uk • Published and distributed in the Republic

of South Africa by: Hay House SA (Pty), Ltd. • www.hayhouse.co.za • Distributed in Canada by: Raincoast: www.raincoast.com • Published in India by: Hay House Publishers India: www.hayhouse.co.in Editorial supenision:

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Jill

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Design: Tricia Breidenthal

No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical,

All rights reserved.

photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private use

reviews

—other than

for "fair use" as brief quotations

embodied

in articles

and

—without prior written permission of the publisher.

The authors

of this

book do not dispense medical advice

or prescribe the use of

any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the authors is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the authors and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Borysenko, Joan.

Your

soul's

compass

Franklin Dveirin. p.

:

what

is

spiritual

guidance?

/

Joan Borysenko and Gordon

1st ed.

--

cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN- 13: 978-1-4019-0776-1 (hardcover) ISBN-13: 978-1-4019-0777-8 (tradepaper) I.

Dveirin,

Gordon

F. II.

1.

Spiritual direction. 2. Spirituality.

Title.

BL624.B6197 2007 204-dc22

2007017648

Hardcover ISBN: 978-1-4019-0776-1 Tradepaper ISBN: 978-1-4019-0777-8 10 1st

07 4 3 2 edition, October 2007

09

08

1

Printed in the United States of America

J/7

Brother

memory of Wayne Teasdale

and

his vision:

"-'

iatmfam»&K>mmmm

C(Hvte/i£s

Preface:

When

Ask the Nearest Sage

in Doubt,

Introduction: Inner Light or True

PART

I:

xi

Nature

xix

ORIENTING TO TRUE NORTH

Chapter

1

Opening the Conversation

Chapter 2

Magic

Chapter 3

In

Chapter 4

Intimacy

Letters

.

.

the

.

3

Anatomy

of Revelation

We Trust?

"God"

.

.

.

9

25

Seeing with the

43

Eyes of the Heart

Me?

Chapter 5

Doubt

Chapter 6

The Art of Discernment

67

Chapter

The

87

7

Chapter 8 Chapter

9:

...

Practice of

10:

Guidance or

Discernment

Guidance

101

Overcoming Ego Block to Guidance .

117 .

.

the Biggest

139

11:

Unfolding the Heart of

Chapter

12:

Spiritual

DNA: Mapping

Genome

of Transformation

13:

57

Practices for Aligning with the

Chapter

Chapter

Is It

Do Not Travel Alone: When Two or More Are Gathered Spirit of

Chapter

Is It

Sit

Down and

Wisdom

for

Spirit in

Action

149

the

161

Shut Up: Contemplative

World Leaders

183

—

PART The

II:

INTRODUCING THE SAGES

Sages:

Swami Adiswarananda

201

HameedAli

202

Rabbi Rami Shapiro

203

Daniel Ladinsky

204

Taj Inayat

205

Rose Mary Dougherty

206

Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi

207

Sister

Cecilia

Yogi

Montero

Mukunda

Stiles

208 209

Nina Zimbelman

210

The Venerable Ajahn Sona

211

Reverend

Dr.

Cynthia Bourgeault

Oriah Mountain Dreamer Father

Thomas Keating

Reverend Suzanne Fageol Sally

Kempton

212 213

214 215 215

Sheikh Kabir Helminski

217

Edward Bastian

217

Rabbi Tirzah Firestone

218

Dr.

Linda Backman

219

Dr.

WilkieAu

220

Dr.

Patricia Loring

221

The Boulder Quakers

222

Susan Baggett and Thomas White

224

Afterword: Cultivate

Contentment

Being Responsible to Guidance

The Interview Questions Spiritual

Mentoring and Resources for Guidance

227 231

233

Endnotes

239

Acknowledgments

243

About

245

the Authors

—

When in Doubt,

Ask the Nearest Sage

came an end— As the year 2005 earthquakes, tsunamis,

marked by war, terrorism, and genohurricanes, cide Time magazine ran an inspiring article on local heroes who'd made a difference in places such as New Orleans and Biloxi, and across the world in faraway Pakistan and Indonesia. One of these a "dark" period

to

man named Ihsanullah Khan, rescued thousands of people who were injured by an earthquake that registered

heroes, a Pakistani

7.6

on the

Richter scale

and

killed

more than 73,000 people

in

Pakistan in October 2005. Fifteen years before, Khan, then a

Washington, D.C., cab

driver,

which winning (he thought) lottery numbers were revealed to him. He played them religiously every week, until he finally won a jackpot worth $55.2,million in 2001. Recalling the dying words of his mother, who told him that one day he was going to be somebody important, he decided to take his winnings and return home to the Himalayan town of Batagram. There he could do good for the local people, which was the most important thing he could think of. had

a

dream

in

XI

yints StHt/'s

He

ran for

The

struck.

mayor and won

.

.

and three days

later

the earthquake

was destroyed, and injured people wandered

local hospital

around dazed, looking

.

Comtek

for help that wasn't there.

Using his lottery

Khan immediately bought all the medicines and supplies he could find, rounded up health-care personnel, and established a field hospital. Using still more of his winnings, he set up tents for displaced families and is currently helping villagers rebuild their homes, fulfilling what he sincerely believes to be his divine destiny. Throughout history, many influential people have believed cash,

that they were divinely guided

—for better or worse. Hitler was con-

vinced that he had a special mission and was guided and protected

by divine Providence. His certainty had a hypnotic effect on the German people, much like the pronouncements of some modern religious figures that generate fear, hatred, and mass murder. The original founders of the United States, on the other hand, were guided by a vision that, while rooted in

faith,

transcended

religios-

and invited equality and opportunity for all. Around the world, leaders are faced with the necessity and the privilege of aligning ity

—

—

global

and domestic

This

a task that requires a

is

between If

faith

there

our best

some •

is

self

policies

with the very best in

human

nature.

wisdom transcending the dichotomy

and reason, encompassing the best

of both.

such a thing as spiritual guidance that directs us to individually and collectively, following

it

involves

serious questions:

How do we

tell

the difference between spiritual

guidance and the ego's need for control, certainty,

and power

—or from instinctive drives and social

conditioning?

•

Is

there a divine attraction

— a kind of grace—that

on the journey of becoming an awake, compassionate, and purposeful human being

pulls us forward

... or are

•

we

the sole instigators of that quest?

And, perhaps most important,

is

there a compass of

and wisdom within the soul that keeps us on track and if so, how does it function?

love

—

XII

@>

Preface

Preface

Who

"So

it

In

"God"

We

Trust?

'

wasn't just a mirroring back of what was going on/'

responded, "but

it

added

of the events in your

a spiritual

life. It lit

we

dimension to the interpretation

up the inner meaning."

Listening to the stories of guidance that the Sages told,

we

heard an underlying soul theme, an inner meaning. Simply put, that

it's

God (wisdom

or Ultimate Reality)

is

extending a hand to

us and sending us directions for the journey home. As in the

Hymn

of the Pearl, the directions are already inscribed in our heart as our true Self, but

God

reaches out to us

—the beloveds— and reminds

us of what's already written in our spiritual

DNA. Whether

that

outreach takes the form of divine union, subtle leadings, or overt stress, it's

nonetheless a magic

from the Creator, the loving

letter that

Spirit of

comes

to us personally

Guidance.

Thomas Keating told us how the stories of the interfaith participants in his annual Snowmass Conference confirm the sense Father

that the Divine Beloved

is

reaching out to us across time and space:

'The experience of the Snowmass Conference,

shown

that deep dialogue

for over

20

years, has

among people who are advanced in their

common heart that is communicating or transmitting itself to everyone who is moving into that level

respective traditions reveals a

and becoming intimate with that which

of listening

and

closer to us

than we are to ourselves

relating

is

—the Divine Presence within

and everywhere else." Our awakened human heart is the receiver that picks up the signal of the Divine Heart. We, in turn, transmit that love. The more love we generate in the form of intimacy with life, gratitude, and compassionate action the more open our hearts become, and the more direction we receive. Synchronicities appear as we come into us,

around

us,

—

—

and guidance opens the way before us: inspiration for her experiment. The father sees

coherence with a larger

The

scientist receives

a notice

on the

field,

bulletin board of the health-food store about a

new

school that's just right for his child. TJie author has a conversation

with a stranger that sparks an idea about the plot for a novel. Fol-

— excitement, passion, gratitude, a desire —we find the treasure.

lowing the thread of love to

know more about

life

39

y^ur StHt/'s CtHrtMss

Listening for the Vector of Love

Rabbi Rami talked about kabbalah as "receiving"

He

translation of the word. to

God and becoming

called

it

—the

literal

the opening of hand and heart

Tuning

part of the divine flow.

in to that

divine flow

—the kairos part of any story—might also be described

as aligning

with the vector of love.

The for

vector of love

how we

can

is

a

"listen

term that

Sister

Rose Mary Dougherty uses

one another" into

a state of transparency

to guidance. (The phrase listen one another

mentoring

spiritual

of Spirit

stand

—

it

refers to

and then mirroring

how

Spirit

as the prayer of

is

it

how

is

used frequently in

movement can help them under-

listening for the

back to others

guiding them.) She describes the vector of love

God

for us, unfolding within our hearts as guid-

open up

ance. Being fired from a job, for example, might

and

sion of where a person's true gifts

could be love's

addiction

nature can shine through.

"Whether or not one is aware of it," Sister Rose Mary explains her book Group Spiritual Direction, "God is constantly engaged

with the

human

ing, enabling, at

An

way of creating an opportunity for dismantling the

false self so that true

in

talents reside.

a discus-

home

heart.

God is present,

inviting, cajoling, challeng-

always loving persons to be

who

they are

—lovers

some point in the spiritual journey we are love affair and the subsequent choice to claim

in Love. At

awakened to

this

the primacy of love in our lives." 1

"Our searching, our wanting, Sister

is

reflective of

Rose Mary explains. The longing

guidance

is

we

and mutual

feel for orientation

a response to "God's prayer in us"

recognition and

God's seeking us,"

—a

call to

communion.

Sheikh Kabir Helminski expressed

it

this

way: "The roles of

and beloved switch between God and human being. The human is the beloved, and God is the lover this gives you an idea of what worship is. Real worship only becomes possible when we realize that we're loved by something infinitely generous and lover

—

beautiful." It's

many

just that realization that

we heard

of the Sages told their stories of

grace of being loved unconditionally 40

over and over again as

how

they understood the

by God or Ultimate

Reality.

D

In

"God"

We

#•

Trust?

Joan: The thought that there might be a personal

God —one

who cares for us particularly—was especially poignant for me. Over the years, even though had directly experienced the love of God in mystical states, somehow that relationship had become lost to me. This is the classic Dark Night of the Soul, where God disappears I

from sight and we

alone and bereft.

feel

Working on this book turned out to be spiritual guidance for me. I came out of the dark night not back into the faith I once had, but into a deeper kind that had been maturing just under the surface all along. Moving beyond the surface stories of our lives and tapping into the vector of love changes the shine on everything.

—

Joan and Gordon: That

essential shift in orientation

surface (chronos) to the depth (kairos)

and

eating the orange rind ing, a stress, or a

tasting

is

like

its fruit.

from the

the difference between

Whenever

a little lead-

dark night knocks on the door of the heart, ask the

simple question Where

is

Spirit in this? or

Where

is

the vector of love

moving? That straightforward inquiry allows your Soul's Compass to orient to a deeper truth.

you can take a few deep breaths and surrender to Spirit. Let it cradle you like the earth holds the roots of a tree. Trust it and take in the nourishment that's there. Even a moment of letting go can put you back into the flow, whether you're movIn

all

situations

ing from Light to Light or breaking through the darkness like a seed beginning to germinate and of the spiritual journey

home wherever you

are

describes the journey,

is

this:

move toward You

are the

the sun. The secret

same distance from

—which, in the paradoxical language that

is

no distance

w

41

at

all.

You're already there.

"

%

er rcHu

Seeing with Intimacy the Eyes of the Heart .

"It is

.

.

only with the heart that one can see rightly;

what

is

essential

invisible to the eye.

is

— Antoine de Saint-Exupery Regardless

of the

form that

it

might

take, spiritual

guidance

is

knowing that's often paradoxical. We know, but how we know, since our rational mind may not have

a process of

we're not sure

weighed in on the matter

know each

all.

when you meet

For instance, there's a subtle

at

a kindred spirit for the first time,

but compelling sense of recognition. You don't

on an external level, yet your souls share a deep understanding. The metaphor most often used for this kind of meeting

is

other

that of a heart-to-heart. This type of intimate connection,

where you move beyond the exquisite its

communion,

inherent

To

see

is

veil of superficial familiarity into

both the goal of the

spiritual

an

journey and

bliss.

through the eyes of the heart means to look beneath

—whose function to catalog, compare, judge, and codify experience — excels the kind of knowing surface appearances.

The mind

is

at

based on sensory input and memory. But there's another way of

knowing

so intimate

and

fresh that only poets dare to express

it

in

and immediate that there's virtually no separation between the knower and the known. We become, or recognize that we already are, at one with a web of loving intelligence that's as close as our own hands and feet yet as vast as

words.

It's

so indescribably vivid

.

43

.

.

the universe

and we it is

%

C(HrtM&S

JfiUS SiHt/'j

'

In these experiences, the curtain of sleep parts

itself.

find ourselves face-to-face with the Source of

Guidance

as

manifesting freshly in this very moment.

When we asked one of the poets on our panel, "How

the question that informs this chapter:

mystery of love replied,

Daniel Ladinsky,

does the heart

—the

—factor into what we understand as guidance?" he

'The heart having intelligence

odd notion, but

feel that is

I

ligence/guidance/wisdom

may seem something of an

where the deeper

—the greater intel-

—begins: in the heart. And to me, loving

and intelligence is the same. means to awakening it, that

,;

It's

this

kind of intelligence, and the

the subject of this chapter.

is

The Intimate, Awakened Heart

"How do we know if our heart is awake, ing, as

and function-

sensitive,

opposed to contracted and numb?" mused

Sufi

Sheikh Kabir

Helminski.

He continued:

When

the heart

ceive things.

them

we

We

as such.

even perceive people

we live

the tender aspects of is

the face

whole universe

The degree

we

live in a

not functioning

as

it's

is

to

meant

as things,

To the extent that the heart

perceive that

you look

is

is

to,

and we

open and

in a very tender universe.

we

pertreat

healthy,

We begin to see

human beings— a process in which wherever of God. The face of God is everywhere. The

animate and conscious.

which the heart

loving universe.

I

is

open

is

the degree to which

suspect that there's

no end

to the

dimensions of that experience.

Most of us have had glimpses of heart awakening that us simply because they're "Aha"

from

a

deep

moments

stay with

that feel like rousing

sleep.

Gordon: Some 30 years

ago,

I

was

the front range of the Colorado Rockies.

44

living It

on

a

ranch along

was broad daylight on

-

,52

a.