Warriors: On Living With Courage, Discipline, and Honor 1581604548, 9781581604542

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WER Ore On Living with Courage, Discipline, and Honor

Mee

editedby Loren W. Christensen

To my children, Carrie, Dan, and Amy, and my first grandchild, Dakota Ruth Christensen. I pray your lives be filled with peace. To Howard, a warrior who had been in Vietnam only a few weeks before the rockets came. To those men and women warriors with whom IJ shared a

tour on the Portland (Oregon) Police Bureau during my 25 years, who fell in their prime. To the men and women warriors who today fight in foreign lands and patrol the streets of urban and rural America.

On Living with Courage,

Discipline, and Honor

way

edited by Loren W. Christensen PALADIN

PRESS

e¢ BOULDER,

COLORADO

Warriors: On Living with Courage, Discipline, and Honor Edited by Loren W. Christensen Copyright © 2004 by Loren W. Christensen ISBN 10: 1-58160-454-8 ISBN 13: 978-1-58160-454-2 Printed in the United States of America

Published by Paladin Press, a division of Paladin Enterprises, Inc., Gunbarrel Tech Center 7077 Winchester Circle Boulder, Colorado 80301 USA +1.303.443.7250

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CHAPTER 1 WartlomOenned: 12. seniors ia scram On Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs

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by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and Loren W. Christensen ......... 2 Stand and Never Yield: How Rick Rescorla Saved 2,700 Lives on 9-11 by Dan Hill (as told to Fred McBee) ................04.. 11 The Warrior PDVitelAVY SEIU ATOIDINE So Mee ces PR ae RPE aN Pa? 0 aba ly What is a Warrior? LEA PAC GETOG ONT eh ad cys ee cc WME Ne ce ceto on 22 Mind-set of the Warrior An interview with Tony Blauer by Loren W. Christensen ..... Dif You Scare Me! VAD AVE ROS Cee a ett TT Te See eae RR eee te 33 The Heroic Set of Shoulders ISVS GtgOCKV AV AICI ene enon eee aden tess aut 38 Walking with Warriors PVACISIEAWICNCO os, Bh te elke soy Se ee eee 43 You Can't Always Get What You Want: Why Being a Warrior Starts with Accepting the Limitations of Peace VAMC ACID elGRC Haan cme Hens ee. Eee eee 50

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The Long Journey of a Short Warrior

by JOSeON WWE JOS” FEN EPA. ecc a eects ee ete 64 Destiny: Walking the Path Laid Forth DVAKCIVA SAV) ONGCH meen ne ee Re PON Be te rete ah us Giving Thanks SUAS MMCCHUG: TETID) wie oes bo ha ch nits u oie ela ora Bebe 84 Warrior Lessons Learned and Unlearned GV Te EAMOM Sy dane som Secale. ceoctm atu pee o Awa Mone nat nko. 88 Fire, Blood, and Paint by Nho Nguyen (as told to Loren W. Christensen) ......... 95

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How Are Warriors a Different Breed? A High Sense of Duty

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Why Warnors Are Needed +. 02755

WARRIORS

THE WARRIOR

PARENT

by Sonayia Shepherd

Sonayia (Sony) Shepherd currently serves as the bioterrorism exercise coordinator for a state public health agency. She previously served as a school safety coordinator and as the state antiterrorism

planner

for

the

Georgia

Emergency

Management

Agency-—Office of the Governor. Ms. Shepherd is also one of the nation’s top experts in the field of school safety and childcare facility safety. She has coauthored 14 books on school safety issues and authored numerous articles, and her monthly column Sony Says can be found in Campus Safety Journal. Ms. Shepherd is currently writing a book on childcare facility safety. In addition, she is the lead author of the book Jane’s Citizen Safety Guide by Jane’s Information Group Publications. Ms. Shepherd is a nationally recognized presenter who has provided training for national organizations including the Boys and Girls Clubs of America, The National Association for School Security and Law Enforcement Officers (NASSLEO), the Israel Police, and many others. She ts certified in grant writing, adventure therapy, play therapy, juvenile and adult case management, managing aggressive behaviors, crisis intervention, and crisis counseling. Ms. Shepherd is a regular presenter at state, national, and international professional conferences. She holds an MS in child and adolescent psychology from Cameron University in

Oklahoma. Ms. Shepherd also serves as chief operating officer of Safe Havens International, Inc. a nonprofit safety center (www.safehavensinterntional.org).

re Many children innately possess a warrior mentality during their youth, but some event squelches their ability to hold onto their inner warrior. Sometimes this event is internal, such as a decline in self-esteem, or the event may be external, such as a

bullying incident that had a lasting effect. In any case, the warFAMILY

riorlike mentality must be fostered in children, and a balance of discipline and love must occur for children to prosper. This balance is an important aspect of warriorhood. If children are not instilled with both unconditional love and a disciplined mind, then a potential warrior will grow up to become a painstakingly annoying worrier, and a great opportunity to effect a positive change in a child will be missed. As research demonstrates, if a child can identify and connect with just one adult, he or she is less likely to engage in risky behavior. Everyone reading this statistic should become overjoyed at the fact that you can be that one adult or parent who can raise a warrior! Parents must first notice that their child is a warrior and build upon that notion. Look for a natural talent in your child. Most men and women who have achieved success will relay childhood experiences that led to their current position. For example, many great athletes had a natural talent in their youth. Someone saw this talent and fostered it by enabling the child to get proper coaching and opportunities to hone his or her skills. Likewise, the most powerful speakers typically have always had something to say, even as children (this has happened in shy children also). However, with the help of others, they realized that their message must be packaged and presented in the best possible way, and thus a great orator emerged. Whatever the talents of the child, if proper guidance is not provided, the talent will become a simple dream that will never be achieved. Helping children find their purpose by teaching them to assess who they are instead of what they want to be is a great step in warriorhood. In other words, parents must discard the proverbial question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and ask them, “What type of person do you want to be?” Instead of getting the typical answer of firefighter, police officer, doctor, or lawyer, you can expect answers like “a caring person,” “someone who helps people,” “a strong person,” and so on. Helping children find out who they are will help them avoid building their life around the goals and expectations of society. This is an important point because if they build their lives 99

WARRIORS

66

around things that they can see, the impact can be devastating because the meaning of their lives will shift as society changes. And instead of becoming strong-anchored warriors, they will eventually be in need of an anchor themselves and latch onto things beneath them. Building a high-minded mentality in children is crucial because as adults they must understand that just as a compass has two ends, they need to know their current position in order to know where they are going. In order for a child to figure out what he will be, he must first understand who he is and, by continually assessing his purpose, he will inevitably lead himself to the path of warriorhood. Develop a regular weekly routine for doing something special with your child. Not only will this help keep open the lines of communication with your child, but this can also help you discover exactly what types of activities your child is interested in, which will in turn give you insight into your child’s natural talents. Expose your child to a variety of activities—don’t limit her mind. Eat together often. Meals are great for bonding. It is a fact that parents who spend quality time with their children will reap the benefits of an open relationship. Meals are a perfect avenue for sharing. Showing your willingness to listen will make your child feel more comfortable about opening up to you. So talk to your child. Seek input from her about family decisions. Sometimes, you will be shocked by what your children will tell you, but don’t react in a way that will cut off further discussion. If your child says things that challenge or shock you, turn them into a calm discussion and look for a lesson in every situation. There are other activities that you and your child can partake in besides meals. Reading, walking, playing, and cleaning house are also great ways for spending time together and bonding. ' Create an environment that exemplifies a warrior mentality. Warriors will beget warriors, right? Not necessarily. There are some warriors who happen to be parents. But will this mean that they will parent like warriors? Obviously, you don’t have to be a warrior to have children with a warrior mentality, but parents or guardians who already possess this mentality will have a distinct edge in raising children to become warriors. FAMILY

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An environment that expects excellence is key. Your expecta-

tions must be clearly expressed to your children, and you must not yield to less-than-desirable results. Now it must also be noted that when a child makes a mistake it’s your job to unveil a lesson in that mistake. Remember, affection and respect will reinforce good (and change bad) behavior. Embarrassment or uneasiness won’t. This is important because most warriors have an uncanny sense of understanding about how to turn life’s lessons into positive energy. They know the world well and do not succumb to naiveté. Tell your children they are what you want them to be. I remember my mother telling me when I was young that I was smart and beautiful. I grew up believing both, and I have lived my life as if they were true. I never saw the connection until I studied child and adolescent psychology and learned that children believe what they are told about themselves. Telling a child, “You are a bad kid!” may cause him to grow up believing it and allow him to feel comfortable doing the things a bad person would do, The extreme case of this was a mother who repeatedly told her son, “You are just like your father, you are all bad.” The father was in prison for murder. As a man, that former little boy is proud to be a killer. He is now on death row for multiple murders. One woman told her four-year-old to “be a good boy” every day when she dropped him off at preschool. He is 15 now, and she wishes she had done the same with her older son, who is now on probation. Each parent must decide which positive things to say to his or her children. Remember that parents who say negative things eventually pay for it later. But parents who are continuously feeding their children an emotional diet of positive energy will reap the benefits of becoming proud parents. Remember to constantly show your love. Every day, tell your children: “I love you. You’re special to me.” Give lots of hugs and kisses and children learn to love every day. Lead by example. Show the compassion, honesty, generosity, and openness you want your child to have. Remember that the warrior adult will often possess these attributes, so they must be fostered in WARRIORS |

children. The best way to instill these warriorlike qualities in children is to show them by modeling this behavior. Each day is an opportunity for you to provide your children with examples of all of the qualities you want them to have. Always praise your children. When they learn something new or behave well, tell them you’re proud of them. Reward good behavior consistently and immediately. Expressions of love, appreciation, and thanks go a long way—even for kids who think themselves too old for hugs. Accentuate the positive. Emphasize what your kid does right. Restrain the urge to be critical. Create rules and enforce them fairly. Discuss in advance the consequences of breaking them. Don’t make empty threats or let the rule-breaker off easy. Don’t impose harsh or unexpected new punishments. For older children, set a curfew. Enforce it strictly, but be ready to negotiate on special occasions. By providing this type of structure and discipline, you will teach your warrior child how to be gentle yet firm. She will understand the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness. She will grow up to be an honest adult and a positive person. Be a guide for your children. Offer to help with homework, in social situations, and with concerns about the future. Be there to help them direct and redirect their energy and to understand and express their feelings. Provide an environment for your children with a foundation of mutual appreciation, support, and respect as the basis of your relationship into their adult years. Correct your child’s behavior when necessary. Remember to criticize the behavior, not the child. When your child makes a mistake, don’t say, “You were bad.” Instead, explain

what the child did wrong. For example, say, “Running into the street without looking isn’t safe.” Then tell the child what to do instead: “First, look both ways for cars.” Teach your child that you love him even when his behavior is untoward. Doing this teaches the most important quality of a warrior—unconditional love. Once the child has discovered his purpose and understands what it takes to succeed, he will in turn exude warriorhood.

Children are by far the best-known warriors. Their resilience and innocence should be noticed by all adults as basic characteristics of warriorhood. FAMILY

sai)

WARRIORS’

KIDS

by Loren W. Christensen Loren W. Christensen’s biography can be found at the back of this book.

$3 Once on the job I found a dead baby in a dresser drawer. She was a couple months old, cute, and blue. The parents were huddled together on the front steps of their dilapidated apartment, holding each other and weeping. They couldn’t afford a crib, or much else for that matter. So the baby slept in the drawer. The last I heard was that the medical examiner was going to declare it SIDS, sudden infant death syndrome. That night I hugged my kids extra hard; my boy wasn’t much older than that baby. For two years I investigated child abuse cases. One case involved a father who beat his eight-year-old boy bloody with a belt each day, hung him on a closet hook each night, and occasionally stuffed feces in his mouth. The father was apprehended before he killed the boy, but still the child stopped speaking and growing for a couple of years. I hugged my kids extra hard after that was over. We have all heard the expression “man’s inhumanity to man.” There were many times on the job when I thought it should be “man’s inhumanity to children.” It’s abominable what adults do to their kids and to kids who aren’t theirs. Molest, rape, kick, punch, burn, and drive mad. One guy dangled his sixyear-old boy by his ankles over the edge of a parking structure across the street from my precinct, just to “tease him.” The father lost his grip and the boy fell three stories. When the officers got there, the father was telling his still-conscious son, who at the very least had a broken back, not to tell the cops anything. Children, their purity and innocence, suggest hope that maybe everything will be okay, like the way a beautiful sunset WARRIORS

suggests that tomorrow will be a new, better day. Often, I found it a confusion of emotions to first handle a call involving crude, despicable, and stupid people who were ruining their lives, or already had, and then drive around the corner to see kids squealing with delight as they chased one another in a schoolyard. It would sadden me to think they shared space in this world with those wretches I had just left. But then I would feel better thinking that just maybe these kids would grow up to make a better world. Like most parents, warriors love their kids. But unlike most

parents, warriors experience that love along with the ugliness and violence of their duty. The contrast can be disconcerting and profound. Many times I wondered, after lodging some salivating beast of a human being into jail, how could the same God

who made my beautiful children have made that? One time I had to work when my eight-year-old son had a soccer game. I couldn’t get time off, so Iwent and watched from inside my police car. It was a miserable day, cold, gray, and windy, but the little dudes ignored it and played hard anyway. As I watched, I thought back to when my little buddies and I were that age—full of life, energy, and innocence, not knowing

that in 10 years a miserable hell in Vietnam would devour us and change us forever. I prayed that they would never have to experience such horror. I wonder now as I type this if any of my son’s soccer pals are in Iraq. As a military policeman in Vietnam, I patrolled the streets and back alleys of Saigon, where thousands of little children played, begged for food alongside their mothers, or hustled soldiers to follow them to meet their sisters. “She virgin girl. Number

one.” Sometimes

the hustler was

no more

than six

years old. Cherub-looking pimps. Countless times I saw half-naked kids playing alongside a dirt road as a convoy of dark green military trucks lumbered by, filling the air with thick dust and black exhaust that settled on the laughing children. Sometimes their laughter was nearly drowned out by the ever-present thumping of heavy artillery in the distance. I often played with them, FAMILY

3

hoping desperately that they would survive their present world to make a better future one. Sometimes after a long day of patrolling the extraordinarily violent streets of war-torn Saigon, I’d see an exhausted offduty MP retrieve a crumpled photo from his wallet and smile wistfully at an image of a toddler. “It’s all for you, punkin. See you soon.” Many a footlocker, barracks post, jeep dash, chopper ceiling, PBR boat, and jet cockpit was covered with photos

of babies and toddlers. Most of the troops were too young to have older kids. Most warrior parents show two faces—one at home and one at work. Sometimes they overlap. Once as I walked through the report-writing area of a police precinct, I heard this in baby talk: “Hi Tiffany. This is daddy. Daddy. No, no, don’t hang up. What’s wrong? Fifi ate your cupcake? Did you put it in the dog dish again? No wait, I don’t want to scold the dog. . . hello Fifi. Don’t eat Tiffany’s cupcake. Tiffany? Tiffany? Listen, sweetie. I have to work late again. But I will come into your room when I get home and kiss you. But I won’t wake you. Okay? Love you a whole bunch.” The speaker was a 240-pound, beef-fed SWAT man with a buzz cut, 19-inch biceps, and veins that snaked across his forehead. A couple of the guys teased him after he

hung up, but he just smiled, picked up his MP5, and left. I worked the gang unit for four years during the late 80s and early ’90s when street gangs were at their worst. Part of our job was to patrol gangbangers’ funerals to prevent the opposing gang from doing a drive-by on the mourners, which we had to do nearly every week. We also executed lots of forcedentry warrants, performed saturation patrols in areas where we knew there was to be a drive-by, and rolled up on clusters of gangbangers to disperse them before things got hot. Before each mission and after we had donned our bulletproof vests, strapped on primary and secondary guns, and checked out a shotgun, we called home. If it was in the afternoon, we got to speak to our kids. “Just wanted to tell you that I love you.” If it was late, we spoke to spouses, telling them they were loved and to give the kids a goodnight kiss for us.

ee

WARRIORS i

Most warriors hide the horror of what they do from their children in an effort to keep the evil outside the doors and maintain the peace and sanctity of the home. They also do it to preserve, for as long as possible, that sweet innocence that radiates from an often jelly-covered smile. I once asked a partner, after we had arrested a particularly grotesque manifestation of evil, which is real: the brutal world of the mean streets or the beauty of my kids in the relative quiet of my home. “They are both reality,” my partner said simplistically, as if it were a stupid question. He was right, of course,

though it’s hard to fathom that the merciless asphalt of violent urban America and the dusty, mean streets of volatile Baghdad exist on the same plane as a young daughter’s pretend tea party and a red-, chubby-cheeked boy’s soccer game. But they do. And it’s a difficult task to function well in the two worlds; indeed, it’s a warrior’s task. The young kids don’t know of this dichotomy. To them, the warrior parent is a hero, a vanquisher of “bad guys,” just like the bad guys on television. But when the kids get older and evolve into the dreaded teenagers, the warrior sometimes wonders how he is perceived. Do they know what I do? Do they understand? Do they care? Perhaps more than we know. Jessica Blankenbecler, 14, e-mailed this final letter to her father, Command Sgt. Maj. James Blankenbecler, at 1:29 A.M. on Friday, October 3, 2003, two days after he was killed in a convoy in Samara, Iraq:

Hi Daddy, Sorry I haven’t written to you in a while. A lot of things have been going on. I miss you so much. How have you been? Is heaven everything it says it is? I know it’s probably that and more. I can’t

wait ’till I can come join you again. I miss you so much—just being here for me to hold your hand and you calling me “princess.” But one day we can do this again.

SS

FAMILY

But it will be even better because Jesus will be with us. I keep going in your office to see all your things and your awards that you have gotten over the years. You accomplished so much. I am proud you were my daddy; I would not have chosen anyone else. I like to go into your closet, too, and just touch and smell all your clothes. . . it gives me so many memories that I miss so much. Sitting at this table I see your writing on a little piece of paper telling me and mom what e-mail and address in Iraq to write to you... CSM JAMES D. BLANKENBECLER, 1-44 ADA. I love to just look at your handwriting so much. I have your military ring on right now. It’s kind of big for my little finger, but it makes me feel you’re holding my hand when I have it on .. . It’s been on since we found out the news. I have your driver’s license with me, too, so I can just look at you

whenever I want. You have a little smile this time. When we went to get them done in El Paso I asked you to just smile this time... and you did it just for me. I also was looking at your car keys and that little brown leather pouch you always had on your key chain. It made me cry a lot when I picked it up. Everything reminds me of you so much. When we pass by Chili’s I remember you sitting across from me eating your favorite salad. You always told the waiter to take off the little white crunchy things ... because you hated them. And when we drive by billboards that say “An Army of One,” it makes me remember you in your military uniform. How you always made a crunching sound when you walked, and how you shined your big boots every night before you went to bed. I miss seeing that all the time. Little things that I took for granted when you were here seem priceless now. WARRIORS

One thing that I regret is when you wanted to open my car door for me, but I always got it myself. I wish I would have let you do it. And

when you wanted to hold my hand, I sometimes would pull away because I didn’t want people to see me holding my daddy’s hand . . . I feel so ashamed that I cared what people thought of me walking down the parking lot holding your hand. But now I would give anything just to feel the warmth of your hand holding mine. I can’t believe this has happened to my

daddy ... the best daddy in the whole world. It feels so unreal, like you’re still in Iraq. You were only there for 17 days. Why did they have to kill you? Why couldn’t they know how loved you are here? Why couldn’t they know? You have so many friends that love you with all their hearts and you affected each and every person you have met in your lifetime. Why couldn’t they know? When I get shots at the hospital I won’t have my daddy’s thumb to hold tight. Why couldn’t they know I loved for you to call me “princess?” Why couldn’t they know if they killed you I would not have a daddy to walk me down the aisle when I get married? Why couldn’t they know all this? Why? I know that you are gone now, but it only means that I have another angel watching over me for the rest of my life. That’s the only way I can think of this being good. There is no other way I

~ can think of it. All the kids at my school know about your death. They even had a moment of silence for you at our football game. A lot of my teachers came over to try to comfort me and mom. They all ask if they can get us anything, but the only thing anyone can do is give me my daddy back . . . and I don’t think anyone can do that.

Se FAMILY

You always told me and mom you never wanted to die in a stupid way like a car accident or something like that. And you really didn’t die in a stupid way .. . you died in the most honorable way a man like you could—protecting me, mom, Joseph, Amanda, and the rest of the United States. In the Bible it says everyone is put on this earth for a purpose, and once they accomplished this you can return to Jesus. I did not know at first what you did so soon to come home to God. But I thought about it—you have done everything. You have been the best husband, father, son, and soldier in the world. And everyone knows this. One of my teachers called me from El Paso and told me that when her dad died he always

told her, “When you walk outside the first star you see is me.” She told me that it is the same for me and you. I needed to talk to you last night, and I walked outside and looked up. . . and I saw the brightest star in the sky. I knew that was you right away, because you are now the brightest star in heaven. I love you so much, daddy. Only you and I know this. Words can’t even begin to show how much. But I tried to tell you in this letter, just a portion of my love for you. I will miss you, daddy, with all of my heart. I will always be your little girl and I will never forget that... I love you daddy, I will miss you!! Jessica

P.S. I have never been so proud of my last name. Sunrise — June 27, 1963 Sunset - October 1, 2003 WARRIORS

Jessica’s letter appeared originally in a Killeen Daily Herald (Killeen, Texas) article titled “Hood soldier’s family thankful for community support and help,” written by Debbie Stevenson for the Herald. It was reprinted here with permission from the Blankenbecler family.

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