The Final Fix for Alcohol and Drug Addiction: AVRT, Addictive Voice Recognition Technique 0934373493, 9780934373494

Citation preview

Rational Recovery Systems Presents

tfior^fllcohol

and forug^ddiction

AVRT Addictive Voice

Recognition Technique

by Jack Trimpey

Founder, Rational Recovery

Rational Recovery Systems Presents

The Final Fix for Alcohol

and

Drug Addiction:

AVRT

m

Addictive Voice Recognition Technique sm

by Jack Trimpey,

LCSW

Founder, Rational Recovery

Publishers Note

The Final Fix

will

appear in bookstores everywhere when

published in late 1995, under a similar but different large

New York

publishing house.

Due

title,

it is

by a

to the urgent nature of

the contents of this book, the publisher has entered into an

unusual agreement allowing Lotus Press

to offered

a limited

pre-publication edition.

Wherever they appear, Rational Recovery®, Addictive Voice Recognition Technique

53111 ,

and AVRTsm are proprietary service marks

of Rational Recovery Systems, Inc.

No

portion of this book

may be

reproduced without the permission of the author.

The Final Fix for Alcohol and Drug Dependence:

ISBN 0-934373-49-3 © Lotus Press, Box 800, Lotus CA 95651 916-621-2667 Single Printing, October, 1994

AVRT

Contents Acknowledgments

4

Forewoid

5

Introduction

7

Prologue:

The American "Treatment" Tragedy

17

Chapter 1.

Hello

53

2.

Hello, again

55

3.

Why, Why, Why?

57

4.

Listen!

65

5.

The Structural Model of Addiction

77

a

Sick or Stupid?

95

7.

The Beast

119

a

Life in

9.

Implications of AVRT (two interviews)

is

Back

Tour Family

171

183

Appendix A

203

How to Help an Addicted Loved One Appendix B

223

The Questionnaire

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

The Final Fix for Alcohol and Drug Addiction: AVRT is dedicated to the hundreds of men and women who participated in the Rational Recovery Residential "treatment" program between January, 1991 and September, 1993. From them, I learned Addictive Voice Recognition Technique 3111 (AVRT8111 ). Nearly

all

traditional,

of

them had struggled

for years with the

12 -step, "disease" approach of Alcoholics

Anonymous and

Narcotics

Anonymous (AA/NA),

usually

with tragic and painful results. They started over, this time by returning to

many

of their original beliefs

about

themselves and about addiction. They added to that foundation the principles of Addictive Voice Recognition

Technique (AVRT) contained in this book, and discovered

The large by trusting own strengths, and their own

that addiction "treatment" is a hall of mirrors. majority, their

own

human

70%, of them have intelligence, their

nature.

built

new

lives

Foreword This book presents you with a perfect solution to your

substance addiction problem. By following the simple of Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT),

putting

some

you

effort into practicing

what you

logic

and by

will learn

your addiction through permanent abstinence. Then, you will be fully recovered, free to tackle life's problems without the burden of addiction. Your journey to recovery will be a short one, for this entire book can be read in a few hours. It will be an exciting ride, with many good feelings along the way. You will be challenged to use your own mind to take control of your self, to take back your life from addiction, and to feel good as a fully recovered person. Please read The Final Fix carefully, and enjoy the many insights you will take from it. Chapter 1 follows fifty pages of introductory material that will provide some background for your understanding. You may find some of what you are about to read a bit here,

annoying.

many

will

It

find

it

relatively easy to defeat

can't be otherwise.

times. Get a grip

Some

and read

material

is

repeated

on. Rejoice in the

awareness that you are unlocking the prison that has held you captive for many years. Rational Recovery from addiction is a natural and healthy process; once learned, AVRT is effortless. People who overcome addictions are living examples of human triumph over adversity.

Introduction Over a decade ago, I defeated my own twenty-year addiction to alcohol by stubbornly refusing to drink any more of it. I struggled with alcohol dependence for many years, enjoying its pleasure and suffering its sting, convinced aD the while that I was somehow "marked" to continue my folly. As a professional person in the 1970's and later, I represented the popular belief that alcoholism

is

a disease,

probably inherited, certainly incurable, and one that renders one powerless over the choice to drink or not. I referred

of the

all

("alcoholics") saw to Anonymous, which still

problem drinkers

the 12-step program of Alcoholics

I

enjoys a reputation as "the only thing that really works." noticed that very few of I

related that to

them

really

I

stopped drinking, and

my own

understand the problem,"

I

problem with alcohol. "I thought, "and I can see why

they don't get better." In the late 1960's,

I

began attending AA meetings

was in my late twenties, having a rip roaring time getting drunk in the evenings and weekends, and sometimes I went to work recovering from hangovers. My myself.

I

tolerant boss once noted

comes

to

on a performance evaluation, "He

work with the residuals

of the night before."

continued drinking with the idea of being careful in the future. One late night I wrecked the family car while under the influence of alcohol. My wife, Lois, Undeterred,

I

demanded that I do something about and she took me to an AA meeting held

finally

basement.

I

went

inside.

the problem, in a

church

a coffee table, illuminated by a candle, was the Holy Bible lying open. I listened as a group of gaunt, unshaven men told of their gutterball experiences in life

On

and spoke reverently of

"the program." Gesturing toward

the 12-step creed hanging on the wall, one of them told that

I

joining their "fellowship."

my

humility (actually

and I

me

could survive the deadly disease of alcoholism by

but drew upon fear of getting fired from my job I

my

cringed a

little,

being divorced) to listen further. recognized that their fellowship, which they described

as "spiritual but not religious,"

was

distinctly religious,

wondering why they would say their program wasn't religious but only spiritual. Those present were quite unlike me, but there was one man there whom I knew. He spoke to me about his own lifelong struggle to remain sober, and he said, "Here, read this book. We call it The Big Book.' It tells us all we need to know in order to live with our disease." This was not adding up. I thought I had come to a meeting of former drinkers who would explain to me how they stopped drinking. I fully expected that they would

and

I

recall

inspire

me

to

knock

it off,

difficulties of quitting,

to help

me

and perhaps

grin

and bear the

to offer

me some

encouragement when I felt tempted to drink. I already sensed that sooner or later my drinking would have to come to a halt. "Later," of course, sounded much better than "sooner." I later learned that "halt" had another meaning in AA, that the letters h-a-l-t stood for hungry, angry, lonely, and tired four acceptable excuses within

—

the Fellowship to drink alcohol. My perception that AA was religious was confirmed when I read "The Big Book." A well-churched person, I had read that kind of material for many years. I commented on

8

meeting and the snappy reply was. Take what

this at a

you

like I

and

leave the rest."

eventually

the religious 12 steps,

left

all

of them, but

took the disease concept as my own. The disease idea clicked profoundly within me. The moment I thought of my drinking as the symptom of a disease I had probably inherited,

my

from

as

if

my own

a great responsibility had been

My

shoulders.

could see

was

it felt

guts settled down, and

behavior in a different

light.

I

lifted

suddenly

No longer

behaving stupidly and irresponsibly, and no longer for me to damn myself for my behavior. I was simply doing what we alcoholics do. I had proven that many times by my own repeated failures to control or eliminate my use of alcohol. My drinking was a symptom of something other than itself, and, very clearly, it would did

I

it

make sense

take something greater than

my own critical judgment and

self-control to take care of the problem. to Lois,

I

explained

and she was not impressed. She

all

this

insisted that

I

simply quit drinking altogether. She didn't understand. Unfortunately,

I

could not think of anything greater

than myself that could possibly prevent me from drinking. I had discarded the concept of God I had learned growing up in the Methodist Church. Although I believe there may be some entity, possibly aware, that exists in some way, somewhere, my God cannot be manipulated, does no favors and doesn't get even. Aloof from human affairs, my God is simply recognized, honored, or perhaps worshipped

AA understands

Him, was out of the question as a resource that would change me or stop me from drinking. When I explained about my personal beliefs, the groupers told me to read the chapter, "We Agnostics," in "The Big Book." I re-read it and I was once again insulted

in a spiritual way. God, as

by the Christian fundamentalism in that chapter. I got the message clearly, that if I didn't surrender my critical judgment, my personal beliefs, and my self to the u fellowship of AA, I was doomed to drink myself to jail, to asylums, to hospitals, and to death." Obviously, I would have to find something other than myself and other than God to quench my thirst for alcohol. "Anything can be your Higher Power," the fellowship said. "Try nature," one AAer said. So I tried nature as my HP. But my appreciation of nature then was heightened by a few drinks; I drank to brighten the sunrise and to beautify the sunset. "Try wisdom," another AAer coached. So I tried Wisdom as my HP, and found that I did not have the wisdom to know wisdom from folly. "Then," they said, "let the AA group be your Higher Power," and I looked around the room and saw a group of people whom I would not choose as friends, willing to pose as my God. They finally said, "Well then, you can be your own Higher Power." I then knew that something had happened to them and they were no longer thinking for themselves. I tried a number of HPs, and they all turned out to be flops at keeping

me

sober.

"You just want to drink. You aren't ready to quit," they said. I knew I wanted to quit, but I also knew they were right. They told me that if I didn't turn my life over to a Higher Power, I would continue to drink. I said I would quit on my own, and they said that I could not, and part of me wanted to agree with them. "You are in denial, they said, "which is a symptom of your disease." I loved my disease for reasons

was I

crazy to think quit

I

I

did not know, so

could stop drinking

AA and continued

just as they predicted

I

to drink for

would.

10

I

I

accepted that

all

on

I

my own.

many more

years,

thought they were crazy

on one hand, but quite

on the

right

other.

I

attended

meetings sporadically with the idea that maybe something,

AA

had changed. Neither ever did. Finally, around 1982, I had enough (problems, not alcohol) and I decided that either AA was right or AA was wrong. If AA is right, I reasoned, I will soon die. If AA is wrong, as I had either

or

I,

long suspected, then control

and

I

am

solely responsible to take

quit drinking altogether.

Quitting for good

When

I

decided

as a person

I

was much

would no longer drink,

who simply does

feeling

much

years, however,

I

better

difficult,

and enjoying

noticed that

I

thought.

resumed

I

my life

not drink alcohol. The

couple of months were the most

was

easier than

I

but before long

For a couple of insecure about my

still felt

wondered, cannot do it I

"What if AA is right? What if it is true that I on my own. Maybe I'm just a dry drunk, biding time u

tune-up,

w

to see

considered returning to

I

if I

could

fit

my plan to stay sober. didn't return to AA because

I

life.

future because of the possibility of relapse.

the next downfall?"

first

AA

in sober, as a

until

for a

way

to

reinforce I

that Lois

had been

it

dawned on me had made myself

finally

right all along, that

I

on alcohol by drinking so much of it, that I had sustained my addiction by avoiding responsibility to stop, and that I had continued drinking in spite of the bad consequences because I accepted the physically dependent

do otherwise. My attachment to my "disease-of-relapse" was simpiy a respectable way of planning to drink in the future. When it finally sunk in after two years that I would never drink under any circumstances, and that I could predict this with a high level of confidence, my addiction was over. I could finally see myself as a normal human

nonsensical idea that

I

was powerless

11

to

being

who simply

doesn't drink alcohol. At

first

I

thought

I

had accomplished something very special, that I had beat high odds against me. I now know that my self-recovery is commonplace. According to research, 1 fully 70% of those who recover from serious addictions do so without getting help of any kind, including attending self-help and support groups. People do it all the time, but they are dismissed as "not really alcoholic." To follow this logic, no one is an "alcoholic" until they attend their first

AA meeting.

Rational Recovery I

was

became

interested in addiction recovery not because

"recovering"

as part of

my

and

recovery program.

addictions

was and

professional

work as a

Working across

still

Much

of

people that

I

my

interest in

an outgrowth

of

my

clinical social worker. clinic,

I

came

who wanted

nevertheless continued.

same dilemma

is

to "do good" for others

county mental health

at a

many

some need

felt

I

I

had

to quit drinking but found that they were facing the

faced; they continued to drink in

spite the negative consequences, in spite of their better judgment, and in spite of many attempts at getting help from professionals, from "treatment" programs, and from

12-step recovery groups.

They struggled within themselves, relapsed, and usually got worse. On the one hand, they wanted to stop drinking; on the other hand, they didn't. Even though they rejected much of what the 12-step program offered, they also accepted Specifically, they

many

came

of its

essential concepts.

to believe, just as

I

had, that they

were suffering from an inherited, incurable, progressive disease called "alcoholism." They believed that their 1

Peek,

S.,

The Diseasing of America, Lexington Books, 1989

12

them apart from others, and that recovery from it is an extremely difficult, life -consuming undertaking. They also believed that recovery is a "disease" set

mysterious process, and that remaining sober

upon moral betterment, serious

is

dependent

self- searching,

personal

growth, spiritual growth, belief in God, prayer, and religion.

They

tried to accept the simple 12 -step

program

of

powerlessness and surrender, which was presented to them as not only the best but the only way to get better. Try as they might, they were unable to do so. Given the limited choice between the 12-step "recovering" lifestyle

and

their

addictions,

addictions,

and chose

they

simply preferred their

to accept addiction as a

way

of

life.

And, just as I had, they continued drinking. Those unfortunates were not "sicker" than those who did well in 12-step programs; they were in the wrong program. Their misfortune was that AA was the only game in town.

I

tried to find services for

them

that were not

based on the disease thinking and religious concepts of AA and learned that AA was the only recovery game throughout America.

One

200 miles asking what services existed for people who did not want to participate in a 12-step program. I found none. The people I spoke to said, "No other program works. AA is broad enough for all people. People who don't want to participate in a 12-step program aren't really motivated.

Some

day,

I

called every hospital within

people have to get worse before they get better."

Soon

heard from addicted people and their relatives from all over the nation who had undertaken the same search. They, too, found that all roads to help lead to the 12-step program of AA. I

13

I

decided to go to bat for people

who

simply wanted to

recover from their addictions by using their abilities.

In 1986,

I

own

natural

started several self-help groups in the

Central Valley of California, and called them, "Rational Recovery." People started to attend in increasing numbers,

but there was a complete absence of self-help literature that did not promote the "disease thinking" of AA. To give participants something to work with, I wrote a series of essays for the group participants to read. Many of

them noticed that my material contradicted most of what was set forth in "The Big Book." One evening someone suggested the essays could be organized into a book

"Hie Small Book." This

titled,

was done, and within two years

The Small Book became a groundbreaking book in the addictions

field.

I founded Rational Recovery Systems and formed a network of free self-help groups. In 1989, when there were about sixty RR groups established nationwide, I resigned from my county mental health position to devote full time

managing this young, fast-growing organization. The major media picked up on my activities and a story appeared on the front page of The New York Times. Today there are Rational Recovery Self-Help Network (RRSN) groups, free of charge, in hundreds of cities in the United States and abroad. The Small Book (Delacorte, 1992), which briefly sets forth some concepts of AVRT, continues to be recognized

to

as a groundbreaking publication in the addictions field. It continue to be read by people emerging from

will

"treatment."

Studies have recently been done by major universities to determine the characteristics of people

14

who do

well in

RR and

which people leave AA2 and to discover which elements of RR account for its Hospitals and other health care effectiveness 3 institutions, recognizing their 12 -step bias, are becoming licensed by Rational Recovery Systems, Inc., to include AVRT in their programs and to offer Rational Recovery® by to identify the reasons for

,

.

name

to the public. In those institutions,

clients

who

RR-track

80%

of the

are offered the choice of the AA-track or the

elect

RR

Although the age of reason has come to addiction care, AVRT, the essence of Rational Recovery, remains poorly-

understood and a source of controversy. I originally selected the self-counseling approach of rational-emotive behavior therapy (REBT) as an avenue for personal growth and change for RR participants. In that approach, people may become better adjusted by changing the way they think about themselves and about the conditions of life.

REBT

is

efficient,

easily learned,

and follows much

all) of my own thinking. A number of never- addicted people have been welcomed into leadership roles in the RR community, many of them ardent proponents of REBT as a means to defeat

(although not

addictions.

As AVRT emerged as the essence

of Rational

Recovery, conflict ensued, resulting in a political division

between the nonprofit organization, Rational Recovery Self-Help Network (RRSN), and the parent organization, Rational Recovery Systems, Inc. This division resulted in

the Rational Recovery Self-Help Network becoming a division of Rational Recovery Systems, Inc., Rational

2 Willis Ceane,

Reasons 3

et. al.

Alternatives in Self-Help for Alcoholism;

for Discontinuation of

Galanter,

AA, Harvard Med.

Marc, Rational Recovery:

American Jour, of Drug

& Alcohol Abuse, 15

Sch. (1993)

Alternative to

19

AA for Addiction,

(4), pp.

499-510 (1993)

once again a single organization with a single message: Addictive Voice Recognition Technique. The implications of AVRT are awesome, for each Recovery®

individual

is

and

for society at large.

The disagreements

within the Rational Recovery organization

may

represent

the serious misunderstandings of addiction that exist on a

broader plane in American society. Perhaps it will be seen that the emergence of AVRT within Rational Recovery has

sounded the death knell of addiction "treatment" in America, and now signals a return to authentic traditional American values. If so, The Final Fix is the first book written in America's "post-treatment" era.

16

Prologue

The American Treatment" Tragedy

Here

is

the exciting news. Treatment

That's right, addiction treatment

know

is

is

dead!

dead. Those

who

best, the formerly- addicted "recovering," have long

known, Therapy doesn't work." In addictions, there isn't anything to be "treated." Either you will drink or use some more or you won't. You are free to do either, treatment or no treatment. Scientific research also shows that addiction "treatment" doesn't work.

People

who

get

and often do much worse, than people who don't get treatment, as measured by

treatment do no better, abstinence.

Treatment" was never really alive in the first place. Addiction "treatment" is an illusion beneath an illusion of addictive "disease." The American- style recovery movement is

a hall of mirrors. Rational Recovery has been a pioneer in the

addictions for nearly a decade.

By remaining completely

separate from the 12 -step "treatment" community,

had the freedom to explore the nature unhampered by the biases of tradition. The is

defeating alcohol

and drug dependence

a revolutionary

Voice Recognition Technique 81", or

RR has

of addiction result of this

new approach

experimentation

17

field of

to

called Addictive

AVRT8" To 1

.

get started

on your AVRT adventure,

let

us explore the

illusions in

the recovery hall of mirrors. Illusion #1.

A chemical dependence is an addiction.

We depend upon many chemicals, including oxygen. would be odd to describe human beings as "oxygen addicts." Many people depend upon prescribed or over-thecounter drugs to lead more healthful and comfortable lives. It

Others use substances for the pleasurable

they

and other stimulants, tobacco, sugar, herbs, alcohol, marijuana, opiates, and other

produce, fat,

effect

i.e.,

caffeine

miscellaneous substances called "street drugs."

substances taken in sufficient amounts, including oxygen, have negative side-effects to offset their benefits, and it is correct to say that people would not suffer a drug's side-effects if they would not use it. A "side"-effect, however, is aside from a drug's primary effect, which in the All

context of this book

substances

effects of

is

pleasure.

is to limit

One way

to limit side-

or prohibit people's access

to the substances. It is vitally important that consumers of a substance be educated on its side -effects. People who drink heavily,

eat lots of sugar, take opiates for enjoyment, eat fatty

smoke cigarettes, or drink a pot of coffee or tea each morning are not necessarily addicted. If they are aware of the negative side -effects, they may freely choose a chemical dependency for reasons that are entirely foods,

An

addiction exists only when an individual continues to use an intoxicant against his or her own better judgment. This leads to the next illusion. Illusion #2. The state of addiction may be objectively demonstrated.

personal.

It is

reasons

not possible for one

human

for another's behavior. It

18

being to

has been

know

the

said, "Anything

worth doing in excess." Some may differ with this wisdom on philosophical grounds, but is that sufficient cause to say that there is something wrong

that's

worth doing

with people

who

is

are devoted to certain pleasures?

If

one

chooses extremely risky behavior, such as rock climbing, does it help to say he or she is "addicted?"

Are skid-row drunks "addicted" to alcohol? What are we saying about those people by saying so? Perhaps it would be better to ask the individual lying in the gutter rather than to assume that he or she really wants anything more than the effect of the next drink. The

may

you that he or she is an "alcoholic," and cannot behave otherwise, but this suggests that drunkenness is a chosen lifestyle, that drinking alcohol is the most meaningful activity for that person, that the inconvenience of street life is an acceptable side-effect of the drug alcohol, and that he or she has ruled out other possibilities such as refusing to consume more alcohol. Many such people live in low-income areas and use all of their personal and financial resources to maintain a significant blood alcohol content. They are told by the judgment of society that they are addicted, and most of them paradoxically agree. But following Illusion #1, is the inebriate

tell

assertion that addiction exists only against one's better judgment.

If

we take

the time,

and

if

sober enough to reflect on questions, we

own

the inebriate

may

is

find that

he/she sincerely wants to quit drinking, but acts otherwise. At that point, we may conclude, based on his or her subjective statement, that a state of addiction Illusion #3.

Alcoholism or addiction

is

exists.

a "treatable

disease.**

There

not even a tiny shred of evidence that substance addiction is, or is caused by, a disease, or that is

19

people drink because their ancestors drank. Conversely, and very importantly as you read on, addiction is not a

symptom

of

any disease. Addiction

state of being. People

who

merely a fact

—a

drink heavily or use drugs a

among

are not necessarily included

though most

is

lot

the addicted, even

them may in fact be addicted. This up endless illusions in the recovery hall

of

discrepancy sets of mirrors.

Substance addiction causes diseases such as

liver

disease, heart disease, neurological disease, digestive tract

disease, diseases of the skin, larger

number

and

much

also aggravates a

of other legitimate diseases.

These are

side-

substance or drug. But there is no known disease that causes one to drink or use drugs for the effects of the

pleasurable effects they produce.

Addiction to alcohol or drugs

a state of hyperhedonism, a devotion to pleasure produced by the substance, and ultimately becomes a condition of

chemically-enhanced

stupidity.

is

No

no

disease,

"treatment."

who are addicted need "treatment." Says who, and for what? Don't all substances have negative side-effects? Isn't an addiction the willful pursuit

Illusion #4. People

of chemically-induced pleasure against one's

own

better

judgment? An addicted person may need treatment serious side-effects of the substance, but

how may

for

one's

desire for pleasure be "treated?"

Doesn't the preamble to the U.S. Constitution guarantee "...the pursuit of happiness?" Were the Founding Fathers, most mourning the loss of loved ones in the Revolutionary War, concerned about the cost of freedom? How better to subdue a slave than to "treat" his desire for freedom?

As a concept, the "treatment" 20

of desire

not only clashes with uniquely American concepts of freedom, but also places a shroud of social oppression on large

segments of

society,

our chemically dependent and

addicted masses. Self- intoxication is

whose

a fundamental freedom. After

The ugly

life is it?

all,

results of self- intoxication are the

cost of that freedom. If

I

am not making a am not free to stop

drink every minute of every day,

If I am free to do this, I can think of no good reason to stop drinking, why

choice to do so? it? If

I

I

should

I

stop?

If

I

am

willing to go to jail,

why

shouldn't

I

smoke crack? Remember, addiction is intoxicating oneself against one's own better judgment If my best judgment is to drink alcohol and accept the risks involved, how can I

be "addicted" or otherwise diagnosed? opinion,

and what's

in

it

for

Who will

render this

them?

Addiction begins not with intoxication, but with awareness of pain and a desire for a better way of life. It continues with a sense of ambivalence, being "of two minds," and it ends with reclaiming one's self from the grip of pleasure.

a course counter to a person's wishes, and if not "treated," progresses toward death. (Substitute "malignant tumor'' to sense the illusion.) Drinking or drugging by an addicted person is willful behavior that reflects the addicted person's sincerest desires. He or she may also desire to avoid the consequences of the addiction, but the behavior, Illusion #5. Addiction runs

nevertheless, is chosen in spite of the risks involved.

Addicted people are not victims of any predisposition, malady, disease, or inherited deficiency. Instead, they are

same responsibilities as any other citizen but making consistently poor decisions in dealing with them. facing the

21

Addictions

may

result in death from acute intoxication,

from diseases caused by addiction, or from dangerous behavior resulting from impaired judgment. But the consequences of addiction, even death, are best attributed to the individual rather than to circumstance at birth. The state of being addicted is a fact; facts may change, but they are not progressive!

One cannot independently quit an addiction because it is a symptom of something of which one has little awareness, and over which one has no direct control. Only about a third of all people who stop their Illusion #6.

addictions get help of any kind. Stopping an addiction

not as

difficult

as most people

make

it

is

out to be; the

struggle is shortly over. Staying stopped is also easy,

because sobriety

is

self-reinforcing.

"treatment" do less well than people

own.

When

who

People

who

get better

on

get their

people take personal responsibility to quit

their addictions, they get better regardless of

how

serious

or long-standing the addiction.

Many veterans

of the Viet

Nam conflict

returned to the

United States addicted to heroin, but upon resuming civilian life

90%

of

them

quit using altogether without

getting "treatment. " (Sixty-four percent

before

entering

the military.)

had used narcotics

Some say they had

"spontaneous remission" from the disease of addiction, but realistically conclude that their better judgment took over when it was no longer appropriate to

we may more

self-intoxicate. 4

The term,

"denial,"

among

other things,

addicted people are pathetic dumbbells

is

the idea that

who cannot

4 Robbins, L.N., et al, "Drug Use by U.S. Enlisted Men in Viet A Followup of Their Return Home," American Journal of Epidemiology, 99(1974):235-249.

22

figure

Nam:

out that they are drinking or drugging themselves into trouble. It is used to describe people who do not know they are addicted.

No such persons

exist, for

only to the addicted person.

addiction

is

known

Remember, addiction

drinking or drugging against one's

own

is

better judgment,

not against someone else's judgment.

The American Society for Addiction Medicine is an enclave of physicians whose chemical dependencies brought them before the judgment of others, others who told them they were addicted. To save their careers, the doctors fled into "treatment, " asserting that "denial" cardinal

symptom

is

of the disease of alcoholism. Thus, the

disease-model "treatment community" perceives that chemically dependent people are addicted and don't it,

and that

disease for (They forget

a

all

know

presumed ignorance is a symptom of a which they are not personally responsible. so soon that they knew all along exactly what their

they were doing during their years of inappropriate drug

has brought us the American "treatment" tragedy in which substance abusers and chemically dependent people who are exercising the fundamental freedom to intoxicate themselves are coerced into "treatment" programs that forcefully impose a belief system that makes recovery from addiction impossible. Chemically dependent newcomers to recovery support groups are often smugly told, "You may continue to drink, but you won't be able to enjoy it." Here, a chemically dependent person is told by others that he or she is addicted, against the group's better judgment. Later, one may experience uneasy feelings concerning continued use, but that uneasiness is not, per se, the result of going against one's own better judgment. More likely, the person feels uncomfortable as a result of going against others' use.) This illusion,

above

23

all

others,

judgment, especially when they are predicting, "Betcha can't have just one." The reason to drink or not to drink is thus externalized taken away from the chemically dependent person! This sets up an oppositional relationship between newcomer and group which continues until the person finally

—

surrenders (snaps) under the illusion that he/she

is

powerless to exercise better judgment over the desire to drink or use drugs,

own

his

when

actually one has been exerting

free will against the

"treatment" in store

is

judgment

of others.

The

likewise externalized in sponsors,

higher powers, and ancient philosophical dilemmas.

"Treatment"

is

often a disguise for those

us of our freedom

make bad

who would

They feel justified to intervene in the lives of others, pass judgment on other's behavior, and to "treat" someone else's desire for deprive

to

decisions.

"...for their own good." Few "do-good" movements in American

pleasure,

history have

achieved such social prominence as the recovery movement, which may also be referred to as the American

The recovery movement is only a replay of the American prohibition tragedy, but the toll in suffering, in lives, in money, and in threats to our "treatment" tragedy.

Constitutional freedoms

is

much

larger this time. Like a

has penetrated the protective membrane between church and state, resulting

retro-virus, the "treatment" mentality

enormous sums of money for "treatment" more than religion disguised as science, and

in the release of

that

is little

which has the sum

effect of spreading illusions that are the root cause of mass addiction.

Some substances and some addictions

more

"addictive" than

Illusion #7.

are

others,

are stronger than others,

making them more

difficult

24

to overcome.

The Latin roots of "addict," are ad, meaning "toward" or, "yes," and diet, meaning "say." People may become dependent on a wide range of substances by choosing to take them for their effects, Substances do not addict people; people do, by continuing to "say yes" against their better judgment,

Addiction

which says

"no."

a state of being, a fact that

is

is

neither

severe, strong, nor serious. (To sense the illusion, imagine

moonquake? — on the moon. Is this severe?) The results of addictions, however,

an earthquake serious? Is

may be

it

—

devastating, but that does not

addiction itself

is

mean

that the

stronger or more difficult to overcome.

shows that a more common outcome among men who

Interesting research by George Vaillant

abstinence

is

were most "seriously" or "severely" addicted. 5 Research on Rational Recovery groups by New York University Medical School showed no difference in abstinence outcome among participants who were addicted to alcohol versus cocaine. It is

often said that tobacco

and that crack

is

more

addictive than heroin,

The message to those who use those "most addictive" substances is, "Now you've done it. You're hooked. There's no turning back." To any addicted person, the most serious addiction in the universe is the one he or she has; other addictions are is

the

most

addictive of

all.

irrelevant.

The

traditional disease

model

of addiction views

addicted people as victims of chemical culprits (Devil

cunning and

Rum,

thus shielding addicted people from responsibility and realistic hope. We have declared war on external substances rather than upon the ignorance of baffling),

addicted people. Then, ironically, 5

we

indoctrinate

them

Vaillant, George, "The Natural History of Alcoholism," Cambridge, London, Harvard University Press, 1983

25

further, usually at public expense, with the idea they are

not responsible to immediately, confidently, and permanently discontinue the use of substances they find harmful. The structural model of addiction finds the cause

and identifies consciousness as the battlefield for each individual's war on his or her addiction. Illusion #8. There is something inherently "wrong" with, or of addiction within each addicted person,

human

different about, addicted people.

what is it? Is there an addictive personality? Hardly. If you will look at a group of people in "treatment," you will see enough human diversity to overwhelm any such prejudice. Addicted people have little in common and except their common pleasure of self-intoxication the suffering resulting from it. "Treatment" focuses on the If so,

—

wide spectrum of human imperfection including irrelevant issues such as character flaws, health and nutritional

problems, genealogy, emotional disturbances, spiritual deficiencies, psychiatric

family conflict,

symptoms, relationship problems,

and psychological maladjustment. When a

then unwholesome introspection guided by group norms or talented "treatment specialists." This sufficiently negative self-concept is identified,

it

is

"treated" through

process occurs during a time of special vulnerability,

one

The

is

usually desperate from

some

self-induced

tragic result is that the addicted

that the

life

crisis results not

when

life crisis.

person concludes

as a direct result of

chemically- enhanced stupidity but because of deep-seated,

long-standing, or inherent personal defects.

An

addiction

treatment disorder has been created, in which the addicted

person now believes that his or her substance addiction is a symptom of other imperfections. This, of course leads to the next illusion.

26

Illusion #9. If an addicted

person becomes better adjusted, more self-accepting, more fulfilled, more emotionally mature, and happier in life, he or she will become less inclined to drink or use.

—

—

drinking or using drugs Your original problem has been re -defined as a symptom of something else, over which you are powerless. Now, you must commit to a plan for general self- improvement, at least until your insurance runs out. The long, long road to recovery loops through support groups for disease victims, inpatient detoxification, outpatient programs, and other publiclyfunded formats. In none of these publicly-funded programs will the "treatment" expect that you would immediately quit forever, but only for one day at a time. If your addiction were abruptly ended, how could the next "treatment" session be justified?

Treatment" projects a whether they are

spiritual,

set of values

and

humanistic, religious,

beliefs,

scientific,

rational, or psychological. Addiction is far too democratic to strike at

any philosophy or

and recovery

religion,

is

too

widely distributed to favor one particular viewpoint.

Whatever one

believes,

one can believe

it

drunk or

sober.

"Treatment" teaches relapse by implying that you will continue to intoxicate yourself until "treatment" of the root causes finally takes effect.

promises a payoff friends,

— a happier

and better

feelings all

life,

It

is

a bargain that

fewer problems, better

around

— in exchange for

your loss of that precious stuff. When things go bad, the deal is off, and back to the stuff you go. But if you win the lottery or have some other windfall of good fortune, your reasons for quitting are also removed, and back to the stuff you go. If there is no change for better or worse, there is no reason to consider quitting. Your addiction exists on its 27

own, separate from continue until

There

is

all else.

you decide

to

is all

It

end

yours, and

it

will

it.

strange comfort in getting "treatment" for your

addiction because you are spared the immediate and longterm responsibility of self- discipline. When you get drunk it is called a "relapse" instead of common stupidity, and your

attention

further diverted from self-discipline by

is

increased emphasis on irrelevant matters such as inner

moral betterment, spiritual growth, relationships with others, and your failure to heed the advice of your conflicts,

mentors. In spite of

use

all

the hocus-pocus, you

know you drink

— good times or bad — because that

is

or

what you want

You are already "treatment-wise." Stay that way. Once you are securely abstinent, treatment may be a very good idea. You may then get your money's worth because you will be seeking help for problems that others can help with. You will be seeking help for the same to do.

legitimate reasons that others do.

But who's

to say that

you

will

need help with your

personal problems? Having defeated a serious addiction,

you may wisely conclude that you also have what it takes to tackle other problems unhampered by routine selfintoxication.

There is no cure for alcoholism or drug addiction. Once an addict, always an addict. Here we see the permanent loss of freedom that comes with "treatment." The authentic self is lost to a new selfIllusion #10.

identity as a "recovering" person, struggling endlessly

against the inevitable.

There

is

no disease of addiction, and therefore no

"treatment," but there certainly is a cure

the problem.

You

are reading

28

it.

— a final

"fix" for

AVRT makes your

last

fix, freeing you from the prison of Those who have been in "treatment" may take back their lives from recovery. Let me summarize the above points using the concepts

drink your final addiction.

of Rational Recovery:

substances have side-effects, sometimes quite painful. Chemical dependency is a civil liberty, a benign state in which people use substances for personal reasons All

including pleasure, and often in the presence of painful

and harmful

side-effects.

An

when one own better

addiction exists

continues to use a substance against one's

judgment. Addicted people are responsible for acquiring, maintaining, and ending their addictions. It is impossible for one person to determine if another is addicted, except by asking. "Denial"

is

self-canceling

a

concept because

it

obliterates the self as a viable entity in the struggle against

addiction.

The disease model

of addiction is a fiction of

convenience for addicted people, for those who "treat" addictions, and for people who wish to avoid the consequences of their addictions. Treatment" insulates addicted people from personal responsibility to change,

while education places responsibility squarely on the

heads of addicted people. There is more dignity in "stupidity" than in "disease," because you may do something about stupidity. With disease comes loss of responsibility, with the loss of responsibility

comes the

Recovery, addiction

loss of freedom.

In Rational

is self-admitted stupidity

—

acting

own better judgment. By taking a direct hit of and moral responsibility, you may take dramatic,

against your

personal

decisive action to

end your addiction, and

29

in doing so

be

from addiction as well as from an oppressive

free

"recovering" lifestyle.

A list fill

of illusions of the recovery hall of mirrors could

this entire book. In fact, that is

what

you.

is in store for

Rational Recovery re-defines both addiction and recovery

way

appeals to your intelligence, your and your American heritage of freedom. The Final Fix sets forth AVRT as a natural avenue to permanent abstinence that anyone can use to completely recover from addiction. It was developed by a formerly addicted person (me) based on years of experience helping a

in

that

individualism,

addicted people.

My career

is

a vote for the integrity of addicted people

who

take responsibility for

and

(3)

(1)

acquiring,

(2)

maintaining,

ending their substance addictions. Addiction to alcohol or drugs is not a symptom of unhappiness or some mysterious disease, nor is it a way that people cope with

and quit for good. Maybe your life will be better, and maybe it won't, but at least you'll be in a position to know what your problems really life's difficulties.

are.

AVRT

So, quit

first,

bets that you'll

know what's

best to do about

them.

Here 1.

is

some further orientation to AVRT:

First,

own

AVRT

is

education, not treatment.

intelligence,

and take personal

Recovery as education

is

You use your

responsibility.

a revolutionary concept in a

society beset with "addictive disease." 2.

AVRT

replaces

dismisses the "disease" concept of addiction and it with a structural model that shows you, in

simple, direct terms,

what your addiction

discover that your addiction

human body.

30

is

really

is.

You

will

a natural function of your

3.

You

will

not label yourself "alcoholic" or "addict." You

will

not strive to become a better person. Stay

are,

warts and

4.

When your

who you

all.

addiction

is

stopped, you will have problems

How you solve them is nobody's your own. Then, treatment may make sense. business but 5. If you enter a hospital or outpatient program licensed by Rational Recovery Systems, there will be two parts to your program: (1) the educational component of AVRT, and (2)

just like everyone else.

the treatment of problems related to your addiction. Your

treatment plan

management

may

of

include individual counseling, medical

your detox, group therapy, psychiatric

care, family therapy, or residential living. Treatment

makes

if you are educated about your addiction. AVRT, there are no steps, sponsors. Higher Powers,

good sense 6.

In

counselors, therapists, psychological theories, "sharing,"

group support, personal "issues," enablers, triggers, codependents, warning signs of relapse, or religious teachings. No one is in denial. 7. AVRT does not focus on your personal problems, your imperfections, your personality, or your past. Like a laser beam, it focuses only on your addiction. 8. AVRT shows you exactly how to handle your desire to drink or use drugs. AVRT exposes your Addictive Voice, so you can recognize it as the sole cause of your addiction. When you learn the technique of recognizing your Addictive Voice, you will, in effect, be unable to drink or use drugs. 9.

Once learned, AVRT is effortless. No white -knuckling. AVRT does not recommend or suggest that you join

10.

12-

step groups, support groups, or get counseling, treatment,

or other long-term therapy. Nutrition, fitness,

and health

are not conditions of abstinence. All of these activities are

31

fine if

you choose them

freely,

and not as a condition

of

remaining perfectly abstinent.

Medical treatment of the physical symptoms of addiction is often vital, so don't hesitate to see a doctor! 12. AVRT can be mastered from reading alone. The Final 11.

Fix

is

a complete self-help course in

itself.

Participation in

AVRT is ammo against

Rational Recovery self-help groups, where

the

you additional the AVRT: The Course group sessions, which are offered regionally, can deal a smashing blow to your Addictive Voice. 13. When you have learned AVRT you are completely recovered a normal human being who doesn't drink. Don't keep coming back. Stay home, work on your problems your own way, and enjoy yourself. Groups don't keep you sober; you do! 14. AVRT is your guarantee that you will remain sober for the rest of your life. Are you ready? 15. How long wiD it take you to completely end your addiction? When you say it's over, it's over. But this is central focus,

can

give

Addictive Voice. Participating in

—

leaping ahead.

More On The American "Treatment" Tragedy In Webster's Dictionary (Ninth Collegiate), "treat,"

is

defined, "to care for or deal with medically or surgically,

and, "to regard and deal with in a specified manner," to treat as...

act or

The word, "treatment"

manner

of treating

is

i.e.,

then defined, "the

someone," and "the techniques

or action customarily applied in a specified situation."

Following this, "treatment" could be construed to describe AVRT. Indeed,

pay

for

AVRT

many

health insurers will happily

"treatment," knowing full well that

educational, because of

its

education

by insurance.

is

also paid for

32

it

is

abstinence outcome. Health

But the prevailing concept of "treatment" in the is the first and most obvious one listed in Webster's Dictionary, "to act upon medically or surgically." From the medical /disease model, "treatment" has seeped into the other health professions, and finally into subprofessional enclaves. These enclaves have unified and endowed themselves with "professional" status as "chemical dependency counselors," "substance abuse counselors," and "drug and alcohol abuse counselors." They began in the 1980s when people having no qualifications other than working a good 12-step program began certifying themselves as experts. More recently they addictions field

have gained academic acceptance by creating their own university departments where they promulgate their "treatment" concepts without rigorous outside scrutiny. These self-anointed experts in "addiction treatment" have since convinced many state legislatures to (1) accept the hypothesis that addiction

from

it

is

a disease and people suffering

are not responsible for their behavior,

(2)

that this hypothetical disease can be "treated,"

"treatment" falls

is

believe (3)

that

a highly specialized form of counseling that

outside existing curricula,

(4)

that addicted persons

are entitled to "treatment" provided only by persons trained

and

certified in the specialized

methods,

(5)

that

organizations attempting to help addicted people quit drinking or using drugs are providing "treatment,"

must be

and therefore subject to state-imposed regulations, and (6) that persons not trained in the

licensed

"treatment" of the disease of addiction are breaking the law or are not qualified for

persons

— in

effect,

employment working with addicted

practicing medicine without a license.

Consequently, every organization that helps people with their addictions is under considerable pressure to offer

33

services that are congruent with the concepts of the 12step program of AA.

The health insurance companies, however, are

results-

bottom line. They were swept into the "treatment" fiasco because of the addictive disease hysteria that swept America oriented, with unyielding attention to the financial

during the 1980s. But they finally figured out that "treatment** of addictions doesn't work, and that the cost of

running inpatient spiritual healing programs

is

astronomical. Logically, they stopped paying.

The "treatment" industry has been dead for years. In the place of $20,000 per month inpatient stays, managed care organizations

now

police the dying "treatment"

industry with stringent criteria for outpatient "treatment"

programs. The "treatment" industry old-timers cling to hope that health care reform will once again release rivers of cash to provide "treatment" to save the nation's addicted masses from their inherited disease.

People did not start recovering from addictions in

1935,

when

Alcoholics

Anonymous was born

of a

Christian fundamentalist sect called the Oxford Group. 6

They had been recovering from addictions for thousands of years using natural, human abilities. Most people who get better from alcohol dependence do so on their own without getting help of any kind. They have had a

—

"natural" recovery from addiction, but in recent years have

come

be regarded as "not really alcoholic," as didn't have much of a problem in the first place. to

6

if

they

Salamone, Gaetano, "Holiness Revivalism and Recovery Theology," The Journal of Rational Recovery, Vol.6,Iss.2, Jan/Feb,1994 6 Valliant, George, The Natural History of Alcoholism, Cambridge, London, Harvard University Press, 1983

34

But this is a tragic error. Self-recovered people are the most important people in the field of addictions. They know something that is extremely important, more important than all the combined knowledge that presently exists in the field of "addiction treatment." Indeed, is

widely

known how

when

those addicted people naturally

become an

correct, "addiction treatment* will

it

self-

historical

curiosity.

Beyond "Treatment" Instead of "treating" substance addiction, we will

educate addicted people on how to quit drinking or using drugs. This education will be based on inexpensive learning materials, settings,

and

it

can take place

any number of

in

such as meeting rooms, classrooms, professional

offices, hotel

rooms, prison

cells or yards, city parks, street

corners, or in the privacy of one's home.

But

will

it

not

require that one enter a hospital or other expensive,

better used,

such as in

Those resources can be providing detox and acute care for

the physical

symptoms

of addiction.

restrictive, "treatment" setting.

Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT)

concise distillation

human beings

—

a

summary

—

of the

naturally recover from addiction.

possible that everyone

who

quits

is

a

way

that

is

quite

It

an addiction uses the

simple logic of AVRT, whether they attend meetings of AA, enter hospitals, enroll in residential "treatment" programs, get professional counseling, or defeat their addictions in

the privacy of their

doing a very

own homes. AVRT

is

you

at work,

human thing.

may call your recovery, is very closely related to common sense, and draws upon your own strengths and intelligence. AVRT builds upon an "The final

fix,"

as you

approach that you have been using for a very long time. 35

You have probably had mixed or poor results with your own version of AVRT; it is easy to become discouraged because you have received no encouragement In America, more so than in most countries, there is a popular attitude that addicted people are victims of a disease, are "out of control," and cannot defeat their addictions on

Heavy drinkers are expected

their own.

to get help

by

joining support groups or by entering "treatment" provided

by professionals. "You can't do it on your own," America's addicted masses are told. The expectation that people must attend AA meetings

many people to continue Many people, such as the

or get "treatment" actually leads

intoxicating themselves.

physically disabled, people living in remote areas, people

who

don't have transportation,

and people who just

attending evening groups, are also

like

AVRT and

left

don't

without help.

enables you to understand addiction in a

realistic

Much

way.

stretching your

of

your work

new

will consist of

mind and experimenting with new

ideas.

AA Bashing As you read

on,

you

mention of the differences between example,

I

make

frequent

AA and

RR. For

will find that

I

have asserted that 12-step "treatment" harms

many more than

it

helps. Protectors of the 12-steps

sometimes become angry when their articles of faith are challenged in this way. The cry, "AA bashing," is an ad

hominem response than responding

that criticizes

me

or

my behavior rather

what I have said. If the 12-steps were not forced upon people by choicelessness and by legal mandates, I would respect (not openly criticize) their beliefs, just as I refrain from criticizing the beliefs of legitimate religions. AA gave up its to

right to polite treatment

when

36

it

allowed

its

evangelism to

hurdle the U.S. Constitution and land in the corridors of public institutions.

and

The wall

of separation between church

state protects both the state

and churches.

do not hesitate to pound away at the crumbling

I

edifice of "disease" thought,

and

I

will

out that the 12 -steps are unhelpful to

here Fix,

continue to point

many

people.

But

is an interesting twist. In the prologue to The Final you read about a conflict that arose within the

Rational Recovery organization

itself.

Some

of the debate

had to do with contradictions between AVRT and REBT. As my writings on AVRT have stepped up over the last few years, it has become apparent that REBT has many of the same shortcomings in addiction as the 12 step program. The 12 steps and REBT are really the flip sides of an ancient debate about religion, free-will vs.

man

in the universe, science vs.

determinism. Neither has anything to

do with remaining sober. Nothing whatsoever. Ideas deserve no protection, but stand or

own

fall

on their

merits. Ideas do not have feelings, but people do.

When

I

challenge an idea, people

who

believe that idea

sometimes become upset. I cannot help that and I will not refrain from criticizing ideas that are harmful to many people, that violate ethics, or infringe on Constitutional freedoms.

This book relentlessly challenges the ideas of "treatment," powerlessness, alcoholism, codependency, one-day-at-a-time, addictive disease, triggers, warning signs of relapse, family disease of alcoholism, enablement,

surrender of control, dependency on higher powers, and endless "recovering," because these are deadly ideas to large

numbers

struggling with

of addicted people.

an

To people who are

addiction, they are seductive ideas,

perceived as subtle, inviting, and appealing, that remain in

37

place until they are bashed, mashed,

and thoroughly

trashed. During a time of special vulnerability, is

when one may

desperate for anything that will help, the 12-steps

and become a part of one's Addictive Voice, Likewise, many mental health practitioners approach

"take,"

addicted people with the idea that the secrets of recovery

may be

discovered by indirect, "therapeutic," means. This

is

a variation of the disease concept of alcoholism, in which the drinking is a symptom of another problem, some emotional insecurity or disorder. "Treat the real problem," they say, "and the

symptom

of drinking will go away." This

tenacious. Although

I myself have have still presented addiction as a mental health problem, which it is not. I have also implied that learning REBT is a way to insure sobriety, on the (false) assumption that rational folks are

kind of thinking

known

is

better for a long time,

I

less likely to relapse.

AA is not

a bad program.

Many people who

step approach agreeable do very well. But

it

find the 12-

is

the wrong

program for most addicted people. I contend that one of the most significant causes of addiction in America is the 12-step program itself. The major flaw of AA lies not in its inverted philosophy, but in its insistence that it is the best and the only way to deal with addiction. A central tenet of the 12-step program is the prediction that people

the 12-step program will

who

come

resist, object to, or leave

harm. These predictions of harm are sometimes called "the curse of AA" because they are self-fulfilling among people who already have a to

and who will accept any warped logic, any unproved hypothesis, any encouragement, to justify the decision to drink. The problem is compounded by the fact that 80% of newcomers disposition to continue drinking,

38

drop out of

AA

within the

days,

first thirty

50%

of those

95%

who remain drop out within 90

days, and

newcomers drop out before one year, 7

"infected,** if you will,

of

with the idea that they are neither responsible for what

they take into their bodies, nor for calling a halt to the craziness of addiction.

Known from

beginning in the 1930's as "the religious solution,*' AA directs addicted persons to turn their lives over to God and remain in a "recovering,** or repentant,

mode

appeal, alone, is

its

for the rest of their lives. This religious

enough

to discourage the majority

from from

has not prevented AA dominating our social institutions and our way of

taking

AA

seriously, but

thinking about substance abuse. Millions of people

— yes millions —

have become entangled in AA's inverted concepts

of powerlessness, addictive disease,

moral betterment,

codependency, confession, evangelism, prayer, meditation,

and atonement. Only a few, less than five percent, of the who have attended AA meetings, have stayed with the program and achieved a lasting sobriety. In an analysis of major research on AA8 Chad Emrick (1993) found only a .2 correlation (slightly better than chance) between AA involvement and drinking outcome. Yet, the 12-step program is held up by its members and proponents millions

,

as "the only thing that works.**

"The Big Book** has become the most influential book on the subject of alcohol and drug

ever written 7

Alcoholics Anonymous. (1990). Alcoholics Anonymous 1989 Membership Survey. New York. Alcoholics Anonymous World Services. 8

Chad Emrick,

Tonigan, Henry Montgomery, Laura Little. What Is Currendy Known?" Research on Alcoholics Anonymous, edited by Barbara McCrady and William R. Miller, Rutger Center for Alcohol Studies J.S.

"Alcoholics Anonymous:

39

dependence, not because it has wide appeal, or because it is well-written, or because it contains any concise information on

how

to defeat addictions, but

because

it is

promoted as scripture by true believers. The 12 -step recovery movement, through

messengers in the health care professions and the social service bureaucracy, has adopted the language of science to lend authority to its claims. Using the mass media to promote itself, AA has spread its message well. But it wasn't this way at the its

beginning.

The following

a brief review of

is

The

Big Book,"

Anonymous, which appeared in The Journal of the American Association shortly after its properly

titled,

Alcoholics

publication in 1939.

The seriousness of

the psychiatric

represented by addiction to alcohol

and

social

problem

generally underestimated

is

by those not intimately familiar with the tragedies

in the

families of victims or the resistance addicts offer to any effective treatment.

Many more

psychiatrists regard addiction to alcohol as having a

pessimistic prognosis than schizophrenia. For

the public

was beguiled

many

years

into believing that short courses of

enforced abstinence and catharsis in "institutes" and "rest

homes" would do the

trick,

temporizing has become

but

now

that the failure of such

common knowledge,

a considerable

number of other forms of quack treatment have sprung

The book under review

is

organizing propaganda and religious exhortation. sense a scientific book, although

from a physician contributors

who

claims to

who have been

have joined together

in

up.

a curious combination of

it

is

It is

in

no

introduced by a letter

know some

of the anonymous

"cured" of addiction to alcohol and

an organization which would save other

40

addicts by a kind of religious conversion. instructions as to

how

The book

contains

to intrigue the alcoholic addict into

acceptance of divine guidance

in place

of alcohol in terms

strongly reminiscent of Dale Carnegie and the adherents of the

Buchman ("Oxford") movement The one

valid thing in the

book

is

the recognition of the

seriousness of addiction to alcohol. Other than

this, the

book

has no scientific merit or interest.

(Reprinted from the Journal of the American Medical Association, October 14, 1939)

First

impressions count, but over the years the candor

of the medical profession

has been abandoned

in favor of

Today billions of tax and health insurance dollars are spent on medical "treatment" of an incurable, insurable, hypothetical disease called "alcoholism." As our commitment to "treatment" grows, so does the problem. WeVe come a long way since 1939. Whether the founders of AA would agree with today's version of their "simple program of spiritual ideas" is a moot question. But AA has vaulted the United States Constitution and become America's unacknowledged state religion. Although described as "...a program of attraction, not promotion," drunk drivers are mandated by courts into AA, and the major TV networks broadcast slick advertising for 12-step programs. The task of recovery is compounded for the majority of addicted people whose personal and religious beliefs conflict with 12-step spiritual ideas, or who simply want nothing to do with higher expediency.

powers.

Disease thinking last

AVRT

unlearning disease thinking. In the few decades, all of the social institutions in America

Part of

is

41

have embraced 12-step concepts that actually make it more difficult for most people to stop drinking or using drugs. The 12-step program actually discourages people from getting on with the task at hand, which, of course, is to permanently discontinue the use of the offending substance.

Are you aware that the idea of a "cure" to addiction is ridiculed, scolded, scorned, and denied by virtually every chemical dependency counselor in America? They insist that addiction, whether to alcohol or other drugs, hereditary, progressive, incurable, and,

if

is

one does not

To many people, the very idea of a "cure" is regarded as dangerous to people who suffer from addictions. Moreover, if an addicted person believes there is a "cure" or thinks one is "cured," that person is admit

all

of the above, fatal.

said to be "in denial," a

symptom

of the incurable disease,

addiction.

Denial of denial

That's right. In Rational Recovery,

we deny

that

substance abusers deny. Instead, they lie. There's a big difference between lying and what Sigmund Freud called "denial." Denial is a defense

mechanism that

results in not

knowing that something obvious is so. It is rare, and the term "denial" is in general misuse today. For example, you know what your problems are, and you know that they are largely caused by your drinking. You also have a good idea of how often you drink and how much. What could you possibly deny? But you may lie a lot. If you plan to drink, wouldn't it be stupid to tell everyone? Would you tell your boss that you get drunk every night? Would you tell the policeman you had as much as you really did? Would you admit to your spouse how much you really love to drink?

42

All addicted people

know how much they love the of them know that the addiction

substance of choice, all has a down side, and all of them wish they weren't as chemically dependent as they are. As your ability to recognize your Addictive Voice improves, you will see why "alcoholic denial" is

an erroneous concept.

A woman confided to me that one of her employees is a heavy drinker, wondering if he might be an "alcoholic." I told her that he is the only one who could possibly know, because addiction is known only to the person who drinks against his own better judgment. She was intrigued, and pointed out that in our society it is assumed that the "alcoholic" is least likely to know. I added that selfintoxication is a basic freedom, "alcoholic" is only a label given

when

is

a

civil right,

by one person

and that

to another

that person disagrees with the other's decisions

about drinking alcohol. She then said, "Well, I hope that he knows that if he continues to drink as he does, he wiU be fired." She had not warned him, assuming he is probably "alcoholic" and not really responsible for his decisions. I suggested that she give him warning, and if he continues to drink excessively and decides he

is

addicted,

he would do well to read a copy of The Final Fix. She said, "Then, if he continues to drink and gets fired, that is the price of his freedom."

Some suggested do's and don'ts In

enough information for stopped and stay stopped for good AVRT

The Final

anyone to get

Fix,

is entirely sufficient

there

is

in itself to stop

—

your addiction in

its

tracks, regardless of what you are addicted to, regardless of what other problems you may have, regardless of how long you have been addicted, and regardless of how many times you have tried to quit and failed.

43

Even

so,

it

may be

wise to avoid becoming needlessly

entangled with 12-step activities. Remember, AA has developed a proprietary interest in all chemically dependent people, and you are one of them. Its methods for gaining and retaining members are sometimes subtle, but often delivered with authority borrowed from or

accidentally

our social institutions. Therefore, The Final Fix suggests

and don'ts: 1. Never say you are "an alcoholic" or "an addict,** no matter how much you drink, how long you've been the following do's

how much your parents or grandparents drank, no matter how long you've been drinking excessively, no matter what physical illnesses you may have as a result of drinking, and no matter how many doctors, psychologists, drinking,

and nurses

you that you are "an alcoholic, " or "an addict." Just say, "No, I am not an alcoholic. You are mistaken if you think I am an alcoholic. If you keep calling me an alcoholic, I will take some action to stop you." Do not put in writing that you are an "alcoholic" or suffering from "alcoholism," because

social workers,

tell

"alcoholics" are a special class of people discriminated

against by courts, insurance companies, employers, and are viewed negatively by the public.

Admitting or stating

—

HIV you can't rid yourself of the stigma, and it invites the most extraordinary kind of discrimination and social and that one

is

an

"alcoholic" is like testing positive for

institutional abuse. Labeling yourself is also detrimental to

your recovery from addiction. 2. Avoid being referred to agencies that may label you in their records. Ask agency employees about this. Request that your counselor or physician use the acceptable terms, "excessive drinking," "heavy drinking," "drinking problem,"

"problem drinking," "alcohol dependence," "alcohol abuse,"

44

"drug abuse," "self-medication/ or "drug dependence," instead of the folk expressions, "alcoholism," "alcoholic,"

any records. If it is suggested that your request indicates that you are "in denial," discontinue contacts with that service provider. Your name will become part of an enormous database that is compiled by or "addict," in

government-controlled agencies. Individuals in that database comprise a special class of people who are treated differently. Your employer has access to your diagnosis if you receive insured care for "alcoholism." As national health care reforms come about, it is in your interests to avoid being identified within the federal system as "an alcoholic," "a drug addict," or as one suffering from "the disease of alcoholism."

Never say you're out of control, or that your life is unmanageable. If those things were really true, you would have to be locked up or assigned a guardian or conservator to manage your personal affairs. Even if you made irresponsible judgments while intoxicated, they were your lousy judgments and you were in control and therefore responsible for the consequences. You chose to drink. No 3.

one else 4.

an

did.

Do not admit

AA

that you violated the law.

Do

not do

it

in

meeting, in a chemical dependency program, while

talking with a chemical dependency counselor, or especially, while attending

an AA meeting

most

in jail or in

prison. Confessing crimes while doing a fearless moral

inventory has

little

relevance to overcoming alcohol or

drug dependence, and

may result

you are required

in charges being brought

to attend

AA

meetings,

against you.

If

remain

about your past, refuse to do fearless moral

silent

and avoid personal entanglements with a sponsor. In order to abstain from alcohol or drugs,

inventories,

45

Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT) will allow

remain sober as a stone without submitting to higher powers, sponsors, and other 12-step program

you

to

expectations or requirements.

Do not admit to alcoholic "blackouts," even though you may have had memory lapses while intoxicated. If you do admit to "blackouts," you may be accused of saying or 5.

doing things you cannot deny because of your admitted "blackouts." 6.

Do not

reveal highly personal information at

AA

meetings. Although the meetings are anonymous, sense that people do not use last names, they are not confidential. No group process is really confidential. Telling other people about your mistakes does not relieve guilt or contribute to your recovery from alcohol or drug in the

dependence. Confession, the

flip

side of "denial,"

may gain

you momentary acceptance of group members, but that is not something that you need. Instead of confessing guilt, stop damning yourself and concentrate on your own selfacceptance rather than the acceptance of others. You can learn to dismiss feelings of guilt by applying principles of rational-emotive behavior therapy. 7. Seriously consider going to jail if you are convicted of drunk driving. If offered a substance abuse diversion (SAD) program that requires AA attendance, you are free to decline. State your reasons for refusing, if you do. There is dignity in defending your First Amendment rights, and in

paying the price for a stupid act. When it's over, it's over, and you are then free to drink responsibly if you so choose (remember, RR is an abstinence program designed for addicted people, not for the occasional drinker

who

got

work on your addiction on your own terms or using AVRT. By taking the so-called "easy way caught), or free to

46

be forever changed because you are M identifying yourself as an alcoholic," and you wiil be subject to the endless moral and legal authority of the out,"

your

life

will

institutional 12-step recovery to

remember

movement. 9

It's

important

that in today's computerized world,

—

it's

easy

government data base and practically impossible to get out. You can easily be labeled for life. The saying, "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic,'' takes on new meaning here. 8. Discuss these issues with your attorney if you are mandated to AA or if you believe that you are being denied your Constitutional rights. Many people feel strongly that the religious aspe ct of AA results in an infringement or violation of the First Amendment freedom of religion to get into a

clause. Others feel that their Fifth violated because

confession of

Amendment

mandated 12-step

guilt. Still

—

rights are

participation requires

others have pointed out that the

Amendment (cruel and unusual punishment) may be violated when recovery group disorders or addiction Eighth

treatment

disorders

participation.

result

from

12-step

forced

Clearly, AA-refuseniks are not provided

equal "treatment" (in either sense of the word) under the law as required by the Fourteenth Amendment.

Read The Final Fix: AVRT, and The Small Book as well as The Journal of Rational Recovery and other books on

9.

Rational Recovery to supplement your decision to remain

sober on your own. Get a copy of The Rational Recovery Catalog (Lotus Press, Box 800, Lotus

CA 95651)

for a

wide

range of reading materials by leading authors to widen your understanding of Rational Recovery. Attend Rational Recovery Self-Help Network (RRSN) meetings in your area.

9 Ragge, Ken,

More Revealed,

Alert! Publishing,

47

Henderson

NV

for

no meeting in your area, call Rational Recovery information on how to start one.

10.

Stop drinking or taking drugs.

If

there is

It isn't

good

for you.

The Challenge

AVRT

is a head game that draws on your intelligence your IQ. The defeat of your addiction doesn't depend on how intelligent you are, but on how willing you are to apply whatever intelligence you have. If you will read carefully in the following chapters on AVRT, you will pick up the basic rules of the game. You will find no evasions, no spiritual teachings, no leaps of faith, and no advice on whether you should or shouldn't continue your addiction. Once you understand the rules, and then follow a very simple logic that anyone can follow, you will find yourself permanently sober. In fact, if you follow the logic of AVRT to its conclusion, you will find that consuming your drug of choice, or any intoxicant at all, will be just as difficult as refusing it has been in the past. Detox the short of it Very few people need medical attention for alcohol withdrawal. 10 If you are dependent on alcohol, make a plan now for detoxification, a plan that you know is safe. You probably know how to get off of alcohol, because you have done it many times before. It's a good idea to let someone know you are selfdetoxing in case you get sick. If you get the shakes or nausea its nice to have someone around for moral support and to watch over you. Drink fluids such as Gatorade, AllSport, or other thirst-quenchers for athletes. They may take the edge off by helping balance your blood chemistry.

—

yes,

—

10 Fox, Vince, Addiction, Change,

and Choice: The Alcoholism, See Sharp Press, Tucson, AZ, 1993

48

New View

of

Chicken broth ("Jewish

penicillin") is

Eat small amounts of food. Sleep. You Don't whine.

Remember discomfort

a soothing remedy.

know what

helps.

that during detox you are choosing

— yes,

alcohol or drugs.

sickness! It

— over the deep

pleasure of

cannot be otherwise. The discomfort

be no worse than a bad case of the flu, and probably more like a mild case of the flu. You will feel bad in order to will

Think of other things, read if your can, watch TV. Stick around home unless you know you will not get sick away from home and get a quick fix. Don't drive while detoxing. The officer will smell you. If you have ever had serious withdrawal symptoms, seek medical attention before you quit. If you have been drinking over a pint of liquor every day for more than a month, and especially if you are over forty, consult with a physician about withdrawal. Delirium tremens (DTs) can be fatal. If you notice symptoms such as feeling very weak and shaky on your feet, poor balance, fast heartbeat, strange visions or hearing things, see your physician or go to an emergency room. If you detox at home, it is good if someone stays with you during the first day. If you are taking more than the prescribed amount of Valium or feel better.

other prescribed medication, see the doctor

who

prescribed

you are an opiate user (heroin, cocaine, codeine) just stop and suffer for a few days. You won't die, but you will have to pay back all that pleasure you borrowed against it.

If

the future.

The stage is set What you have read so

far in

The Final Fix sets the

AVRT. You've gotten some theory, some philosophy, some politics, and, I hope, some inspiration. stage

for

49

Just one question you ready for this?

— one that you will confront

50

later:

Are

Important Instructions

Do not read

book during any day in which you have consumed any amount of alcohol or other drugs. If you do, you will not be able to understand what you read. If you have been drinking or using today, put the book down and further in this

return to

Word exchange

it

tomorrow.

for users of drugs other

than alcohol:

Replace "alcohol" with the name(s) of your favorite stuff.

Replace "drink" with "use."

51

52

Chapter 1

Hello, in there. Yes, you

— the one with the drinking problem.

Do you understand

that just reading this book could

separate you from your precious stuff forever?

That

is

what you want,

Oh? You're

isn't it?

not sure? Very interesting.

up? To continue drinking? But part of you wants to quit? Seems like you're not really sure. Maybe you haven't had enough to drink. To drink or not to drink; that is the question. Such suspense. You know the reasons you want to quit the stuff. Your addiction is a horror show. It's scary, isn't it? It's scary because you have already stopped many times and each time you go back to it. Then more bad things happen, and then you do it some more to take away the pain, to get high, to forget. Sometimes it seems like everything is OK, but you know that sooner or later more bad things will happen. And you also understand that sooner or later, you'll have to quit altogether, for good. Or die. But deep down you also know that you will drink again. You can't stop! Can you? Maybe you'll just have to die. But maybe it'll take a long time to die; you can make your addiction last a long time. Who knows? Maybe it won't be that bad. The booze does take the edge from pain. Maybe you can just wait it out and see how it goes. Maybe something will change, so that you can keep your addiction and get away with it. Besides, you're relatively Part of you wants to keep

it

—

53

young. Maybe you will grow out of it. Maybe they will come up with a new treatment for your disease. Then you wouldn't want it the way you do now. Then you could be normal. And you could drink as much as you want, any time you want, and not have to pay the piper. Well, if you haven't had enough to drink, get a

bookmark. Place further.

Go back

you are ready to read and use it some more.

in this page until

it

to

your stuff

snort, inject, smoke or eat, enjoy it! You know how risky and expensive it is, so do it and enjoy it as much as you can.

Whatever you drink,

God, you love that I

will

If

stuff, don't

wait for you. The end

you are ready

to quit,

54

is

you?

near.

turn the page and read on.

Chapter 2

Hello, again. Did you use the bookmark or did you just turn the page? You probably just turned the page, even though you aren't really sure you really want to quit your addiction. But if you used the bookmark, and it is now days, weeks,

months

hope you haven't suffered serious problems as a result of enjoying your favorite stuff. You don't have to get worse to get better. If you simply turned or

the page,

later,

it's all

I

the same.

The only possible time

to

do something

is

now because

everything that happens, happens in the present. You don't have to wait for a later "now" to stop

doing to yourself. Today big a deal as

it

is

may seem.

what you're

just fine. And, really,

Maybe you are ready not,

you can throw

isn't

as

Really.

to get to work.

If

so,

page. If

it

this

55

book

in the trash.

turn the

56

Chapter 3

Why, why, why? Even though you may have inherited a disposition to drink to excess, there is nothing physically wrong with you that causes you to drink yourself to death. Your addiction is a natural function of your body, an orderly process that you can understand. When you understand why you are addicted, you will be free to stop it. But why, why, why do you drink so much when you know the harm it causes you? The simplest thing in the world would be to never drink, so why don't you just give it up? What is this thing that drives you on to drink some more? Even as the world closes in around you, you want to drink some more. From time to time you damn yourself, then drink to kill the pain. You drink to kill the time at hand. You drink for its own sake, to drink. Your addiction is a mystery to you. If it weren't a mystery, you would know how to stop it, and you would stop it. During dark moments, you feel despair over your own plan to continue your addiction. Your hope has flown, leaving you alone to your bitter affair with the stuff of your desire. "Why this?" you ask, and you hear only hopeless answers. Our culture provides you with many hopeless answers that fuel your addiction.

Some ancestors

people say you were born

came your doom. 57

If

to lose.

From your

you could have done

better,

But you have a disease called "alcoholism" that has been written in tiny cipher on the damp parchment of your life, and has caused your life to become little more than a pile of ashes. The disease of alcoholism makes you powerless over your addiction. That's the reason you drink as you do, and that's the way it is. Each time you lift a drink you are peeking back through time, seeing your own unruly ancestors who also obeyed the call of the wild and drank

you would have done

better, they say.

as their ancestors did.

Your

disease. There is

You'll always

relapse.

no cure, you know.

be an alcoholic. Alcoholism

When

you're sober

it's

like

is

It's

forever.

a disease of

waiting for the other

shoe to drop. And when it does, pow! How low is your bottom? Have you hit bottom yet? How can you know if

some more? But wait a minute. Maybe you don't have a disease. Maybe you can learn to drink. Right? But you know you must have a disease. If you don't believe you have a disease, you're in denial. Denial is a symptom of the disease of alcoholism. You never can tell when you're in denial. If you think you're better, that means you're really sick. Feeling good is

you've hit bottom, other than drink

a pink cloud that will fade into despair.

always does. Why try? You're powerless. Surrender. Let go. Admit your life is unmanageable. Latch on to someone who's been through it. Let someone else tell you what to do. Just It

don't take the first drink, take the cotton out of your ears

and stick it in your mouth, and fake it til you make it. 11 But maybe it's better being drunk. You can't fake it and you can't make it, either. Take the drink. Let go. Surrender to what comes naturally instead of what doesn't. Life 4

Bufe, Chaz, AA: Cult or Cure, See Sharp Press, Tuscon AZ (1991). This book provides an in-depth discussion of cult-like practices in AA. 1 1

58

sucks, so what's the point in living? At least there's one thing that feels right.

Hmm. Sound

You must be from America, where they came up with this disease nonsense. The U.S. familiar?

government spends

billions of dollars every year

on the

"treatment" of the disease of alcoholism, and other billions trying to prove that alcoholism is really a disease. What?!

Seems some people from the Fellowship of AA got to the people with the purse strings. Or maybe they got jobs pulling the purse strings. It doesn't matter. You are on your way to your own recovery, all on your own. I

repeat, there is not a shred of scientific evidence that

any disease that causes you to drink alcohol. Alcohol dependence is a natural function of the human body. You may have inherited an ability to drink more than others, as well as an appetite for alcohol to go with that ability, but that's all. You are free to drink or to not drink. You did not inherit your personal behavior or the thinking that causes you to drink. What you did inherit is a human brain which can now destroy you or your addiction. You did not inherit the problem; you inherited the solution to the problem! The outcome is entirely up to there

is

you.

But there is strange comfort in the disease idea. It seems to explain why. It helps you make sense from chaos. That is a comfort. The disease concept also takes the heat off you. If you accept the disease idea, a great burden is lifted from your shoulders. The burden is personal responsibility! Your drinking behavior is just a symptom, like a sore throat. You grin and bear it. Who are you to argue with the laws of the physical universe? If you call yourself an alcoholic, you are subject to the endless moral authority of the Fellowship of Alcoholics 59

Anonymous. They think they have a disease and that you do too. They have that in common. They also have many other beliefs in

common.

In the last analysis, they

may

need you more than you need them. You can probably do better on your own. But first, you had better learn why you drink as you do; then you can stop it. De-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-p Pleasure

You drink because you love to get drunk. If you think you drink for any other reason, you are dangerously deluded. Alcohol gives you two things,

high or buzz, and

(2)

(1)

the pleasurable

replacing the pain of withdrawal with

pleasure. Both are pure pleasure.

"Oh," you say,

drink

when

U I

drink to

relax.**

That*s pleasure. Or,

I'm bored.** That's pleasure.

1

"I

drink socially, to

have fun, and to be a part of what's happening.** That*s pleasure, too. alcohol.

If

You

love to drink for the pleasurable effect of

this doesn't

add up in your thinking, then

little more about it. You may also think you drink to cope with life, to "get numb," or to drink away the pain of depression or grief. If

think a

ready to put that absurd idea to rest. Alcohol causes depression, directly as a depressant drug and indirectly in the outcomes of your drinking, that you then

so, get

by drinking more alcohol. No one gets numb from alcohol. You get a buzz, and that's what you're calling "numb." Your depression is a front for your pleasure -chasing addiction. In RR, this is called an "addicto-depressive condition.** You probably embroider your addicto-depressive condition by whining about how unfair and rotten life is and how you will never get any good out of life. But the bottom line is your belief that life will be hollow and hellish without alcohol. And "relieve"

60

you may also still

as hell about

feel guilty

all

the drinking you

plan to do. Pretty depressing, huh?

you drink daily, you may have picked up the idea that you drink to feel "normal." Many maintenance If

drinkers conceal the pleasure of their intoxication

buzz

— the

— by calling their "tolerance" for alcohol a symptom

of the disease of alcoholism,

and

explain,

"I

just drink to

feel normal." Then the counselors and doctors can identify your "tolerance" for alcohol as a symptom of a disease that is causing you to drink. It may feel somewhat better in the short run to think of your "maintenance drinking" as symptomatic of some other vague problem, one that may need "treatment" by compassionate, professional people. But this is only one way to look at maintenance

drinking.

If

someone else, never addicted, could crawl into feel what you call "normal," that person

your skin and would probably

die of either laughter or acute intoxication.

Obviously, what you are maintaining

is

not a "normal"

but an endless drunk. You may walk a straight but you may fail to notice your feet touching the

feeling, line, floor.

Can you drink without

you had a stiff drink right now, what sensations would you get? Would you get numb? This author knows better, and so do you. But if you aren't sure of this point, here is what

human beings wrong on any First, if

it

feel

when

feeling the effect?

If

they consume alcohol. See

if I

am

of this. is

a cold beverage, you

feel

the cold going

down, followed by a pleasant, warm feeling in the abdomen. Then there is a gentle relaxation that spreads throughout the body. With more drinks, you feel a sense of well-being and you forget unpleasant realities. You feel "high," and the world looks much simpler and safer. What 61

may have trivial.

You

recently annoyed or upset you feel

good

and want to do something maybe you want to just sit

all over,

that is stimulating or fun. Or, still

and

now seems

quietly savor the relaxed feeling. With a

little

more alcohol, you feel confident around others and speak your piece with ease. Your thoughts come smoothly and naturally, and you sense that others likely accept you. If you are alone, you are comfortable, fascinated with your own thoughts, and able to relax. With more alcohol, you feel a surge of euphoria. Even though nothing has happened, you feel very good, and notice how pleasant you feel. Your thinking slows down, but you feel a warm, sometimes buzzing sensation in various parts of your body, particularly your legs and abdomen. Your troubles are gone, there is no tomorrow, and you can just enjoy the deep pleasure of alcohol. You know that your senses are dull, but don't care. You get impulses to say or do things you wouldn't do sober, and you do them just for the hell of it. Anything can be funny, and you find that you are laughing deeply. You want more drinks, to keep the deep pleasure alive. You drink some more, and enjoy the taste. A warm, blunt feeling closes in, and you seem to be slightly removed from your surroundings. You seem to float, and your actions seem more automatic than guided by thought. Your body buzzes with deep pleasure. Your emotions take on a new dimension, as if you feel everything

anger,

or

more

deeply.

feel

You may

extremely

cry,

express pleasurable

intelligent.

You may do

preposterous things that offend others and require others to stop you. You then sleep, pass out, or continue drinking and doing things you

may

never remember. The

raw and fearful. You remember glimpses of the night before, and hope that you didn't do anything

next day, you

feel

62

up with you later. Sometimes it all comes back and you cringe at what you did, and you wish you that will catch

were like other people who don't suffer such serious problems from drinking. But most times you awaken knowing you tied one on and don't feel well. You think of quitting but you know you will drink again soon. You are ready to do it again because you know what deep pleasure is all about, and you will do it again and again, as long as you are able. You are feeling the call of the wild felt by beasts of the field. Your addiction is a fact of life. Now tell me, was I wrong in why you drink? Are you drinking to "cope?"

63

64

Chapter 4

Listen! That's right, addicted one

and you

will

near a voice that

—

listen.

tells

you

voice — the one that says "We need a

Listen inwardly

to drink. Yes, that

something to relax/ or, "It's time to have some fun; break out the booze." When you think of the bad results from your excessive drinking, it says, The good outweighs the bad.

Just be a

little

more careful next

little

time."

When

you've

stopped for a few weeks or months because of the problems drinking was causing, it says, "You have done very well.

Things weren't as bad as you thought. It will be OK to have a drink or two, now and then. But be careful this time, so you can protect your right to drink." If you think of quitting for good, it says, "Stop for a while. But never say never.'" When you think it would be wonderful to never feel the need to drink anything, it reminds you of 4

how empty you

feel,

and reminds you that you

will

never

without the use of alcohol. "Take one day at a time," it says. "A future without drinking is too bleak to contemplate." The voice of your addiction shows you feel right

pictures of what

a needle

—

wants

it

and

it

pleasure in you as

you

it

sip your drink,

— a special drink, a line of coke,

creates feelings of excitement

prepares you to drink or use. it

says, "Ah, yes!

65

How

good."

and

When When

shows you pictures of yourself drinking. It sees life as an extended drinking opportunity, and promises to comfort you until death do you part. It warns you against betrayal, "You've tried to quit before and couldn't do it, so don't make any promises you can't keep. You'll only feel worse if you do." Though it promises you great pleasure and serenity, it will not hesitate to kill you or to destroy anything or everything you love. The voice of your addiction, with its sentences, images, and feelings, is always with you, and it is your own worst enemy. It is an enemy within you that survives by drinking and survives in order to drink. It fears anything or anyone that would threaten its supply you plan a

trip or

a vacation,

of that very precious stuff.

you, and

it

It is

nearly as intelligent as

creates countless reasons to continue remains disguised as you, operates in secrecy from others who would interfere with your drinking, and it maintains utmost secrecy from you. For example, if you drinking.

are

now

drink,"

it

It

thinking, "I don't have any voice that tells me you have just heard your Addictive Voice

to

in

action.

You

from the illusion that you are one. But Two of me?" you say. "No way. What kind of nonsense is this?" Read on. Yes, there are two of "you." On one hand "you" want to quit. On the other hand, "you" don't want to quit. "You" want to drink as much as "you" want, any time "you" want, forever. At least it seems that "you" do. But deep down inside, you do want to quit. Don't you? If you think, "Yes. I really do want to quit," then that is really the inner voice of you. The two inner voices of "you" argue endlessly, and the other "you," your Addictive Voice, has suffer

there are two of you.

66

been getting

its

way. That

is

why you

drink.

The Addictive

is the only reason you drink. More on that later. your own self, free from Your goal is to become one addiction and free to live as you choose. But first, you had better get apart from "it." You surely understand that "it" is a serious enemy to your happiness. (If you had a convincing voice in your head telling you to hit yourself on the head with a hammer, that voice would obviously be your enemy.) Eventually, when you are separated by a safe distance from "it," you will be in control. You will have defeated your dependence on alcohol or any other drug. You will be fully recovered, ready to catch up on the

Voice

—

important business in

Like having fun, for a

living.

change. Start separating from your Addictive Voice

naming

now by

name, with a capital "B," will help you stay on target as you get in position to destroy your Addictive Voice. If you feel discomfort with this, it is because your Beast doesn't want to be called what it is. All the more reason to do it. Take it,

"Beast." Giving

it

this particular

charge.

"Beast" fairly well describes the

way your

Addictive

Voice operates. In The Small Book, the expression "Beast"

was used as a metaphor, a figment of the imagination like Jack Frost or other fictional characters. But "Beast" is actually more than a metaphor. In a very real way, there is

human

a beast within each

page).

It

humans

being (see Figure

1,

next

a carry-over from prehistoric times when were beasts. The beast within you is amazingly is

effective in getting

what

it

wants

responsible for the survival of the

for survival.

human

of years, in spite of extreme hardships

radical changes in the environment.

67

It

has been

race for millions

such as famine and It

doesn't give up,

The

Human

Brain:

The Great Inhibitor

Fig

68

use all of your human capacity to learn, reason, think, plan ahead, and move about in order to

and

will

it

satisfy its survival appetites.

Somehow, it matters not how, an appetite for alcohol and other drugs has gotten mixed in with your other "legitimate" appetites for food, oxygen, and sex. Your beast brain believes that alcohol

is

just as important to survival

as oxygen.

it

absolutely must have alcohol

It

believes that

in order to survive.

Why

this is so is

unimportant

to

your

recovery. Is this starting to register with you? Your beast brain has been directing your life as if alcohol were oxygen. And youVe been going along with it, behaving like an animal, unable to recognize the many ways that your beast brain is expressing itself. Once again, you have been suffering the illusion that "it" is you. You have been hearing your beast voice for many years, but only now are you starting to recognize it as something separate from you.

Start a

of adjectives

list

In a notebook,

list

you

the adjectives that apply to your

understand your enemy. There is one adjective that I believe applies to the Beasts of all addicted people: ruthless. But if your Beast were only ruthless, you would probably have quit drinking long ago as your problems mounted. It is also seductive, very convincing in the way it persuades you to continue drinking. And it is opportunistic, seeing an opportunity to drink under any circumstances, and it is a persistent companion, always there in success or failure, alone or in a crowd, when you are happy or feeling low, when you

Beast.

It is

vital for

to

—

are excited or bored, in good times or bad, in sickness or in

health,

and

secretive,

—

—

do you part. It is hiding the extent of your drinking from others, yes

until death

69

and concealing its nature from you. It is sometimes commanding in the way it demands that you drink, but may be quite caring and gentle by suggesting you drink to feel better. It can even be aristocratic or snobbish by telling you that drinkers are special people who are more sensitive and know how to get the most out of life. Your list of adjectives will grow as you start applying the principles of AVKT. Understanding the nature of the Beast

—

an uncomfortable idea that you "hear voices" and are driven by primitive, beast-like desires, and that within you is a ruthless, antisocial nature that has been directing your life? Relax. Human beings are animals. Is this still

True,

we

are a very special kind of animal.

We think,

enjoy

and we have built a civilization that is a marvel even to us. But we have evolved from other simpler creatures that lived to beasts, if you will

beauty, music,

art,

—

survive.

We

—

have inherited

pre-human beasts

much

of the nature of those

in a primitive part of

the "old brain," or midbrain.

The "new

our brain called

brain," or neocortex,

has evolved into a highly developed organ that makes human consciousness and civilization possible. Everyone thinks in voices and visual images, and everyone has an inner voice of survival that originates in the midbrain.

Everyone has a thinking voice that says when to eat, go to bed, when to make love, when to go to the bathroom,

and when

AVRT is

The Addictive Voice in words or images that says,

to scratch one's nose.

simply any thinking in

"Drink."

And That

is

it

is

truly a beast.

It

cares for nothing but alcohol.

the definition of the Addictive Voice:

any

idea,

feeling, or behavior that supports drinking alcohol.

only love

is

that precious, precious stuff.

70

It

Its

has no regard

you or anything you love. To your Beast, your body is only a machine to obtain alcohol; your life, only an extended drinking opportunity. When it is in control, you forget your love of other things, even your love of life itself, and you betray the people you love. You face a worthy opponent that has already caused you great harm, and will struggle against you every inch of the way toward sobriety. It has remained hidden for many years, disguised as you. But in order to continue operating, it must remain hidden from you. As you read on, and during the weeks and months to come, you will learn more about the ways and manner of your Beast. But it's only a beast Relax. Your subcortical Beast is no match for you. Your midbrain is quite similar to the brain of a dog, a horse, or a tiger. There is a pecking order throughout the animal kingdom, where the larger or smarter creatures dominate the smaller, weaker, and less intelligent ones. Like most beasts, your Beast understands authority. If you have ever been followed by a growling dog, you may have been aware that your choices were to either keep walking at the same pace, start running, or turn on the dog and face it down. Most often, a growling dog will cut and run when confronted by an advancing human for

many

times

its

own

size.

But,

it

does take some guts to

confront a beast, because of those rare exceptions

may

attack.

Even though your "dog-brain"

physically control or attack you,

pose as a winner. Soon you a "paper

will

it

is

when

it

unable to

will fluff itself

understand that

it

up and is

only

tiger."

Your neocortex, on the other hand, is not only many times larger than your midbrain, but is also the most sophisticated organization of matter in the known 71

can master both its physical and Given the correct psychological environments. universe.

It

information,

the

human

neocortex

(yes,

you)

is

able to

and able to defeat any addiction, suppress any any time you choose. Anyone can hold one's breath until appetite,

passing out. Children sometimes do

this. Political activists

often fast themselves to death for values higher

than food,

and others become celibate as a means to obtain higher priorities and fulfillment. As you may have suspected, most addicted people, even when ardently attributing their success to something greater than themselves, stop using

drugs of their own

But

free will.

sounds grim, doesn't it? Starving, passing and having no more sex are serious deprivations. Your Beast reacts to ideas of abstinence from alcohol or other drugs in exactly the same way, as a all

this

out from no

air,

terrible deprivation!

Poor thing.

Your worst enemy

your Beast, and vice versa! It hides in the dark, damp recesses of your midbrain, and it cannot tolerate your seeing it for what it really is. As you learn AVRT, you will see your Beast, naked, in vivid detail. Only you can expose it, and when it is exposed, it is destroyed. When you have mastered AVKT, you may still have some troubles, but you will have the great advantage of being mentally clear as you solve them. Your Addictive Voice masquerades as you. For many years, you have heard it without recognizing it. Here are some questions that will help you target your Beast: Is it possible for you to drink without being aware that you are drinking? Is it possible for you to feel high without being aware that you are feeling high? Can you have a drink without deciding to have a drink? is

72

alcohol without knowing how much it knowing you have enough money? costs and Can you go into a liquor store without knowing where you are? Do you ever decide to drink because you are unhappy? Do you ever decide to drink because you are happy? Have you ever thought about owning a huge supply of

Can you purchase

alcohol?

Do you become irritated when a drink is diluted or when your supply runs out? Do you ever look forward to drinking later in the day (or during the weekend, or later in the year)? As you consider these questions,

notice that

you are

always conscious of your decisions to drink, and that your addiction is under your voluntary control. It is

humanly impossible to drink without thinking of drinking. Think of a time in the recent past when you quit drinking for a good reason such as embarrassment, injury, fear of getting fired,

an unusually painful hangover, or an

angry spouse. You may have stayed stopped for several days, weeks, or months. But you fell off that is, jumped

—

off

— the wagon. Now, remember starting up again. Maybe

you were alone, or at a party, or stopped at a bar. Concentrate on what you were thinking shortly before taking that

first

with the old,

"I

drink. Don't let yourself off easy here,

wasn't thinking anything.

I

just took a

No one but you made the decision. How did you change your mind? How long before you drank did you start thinking about it? What did you drink." That is impossible.

tell

yourself to justify drinking?

Whatever

it

was

that you thought to yourself, you

were hearing the sound of your Beast,

73

and

it

can be

down

written

in one short sentence. Before reading

on another paper:

further, write that sentence here or

Now, read on, and drink again

I

will

guess what your reason was to

.

Definition: Your Addictive Voice

is

any thinking

that

supports any use of any alcohol or drugs in any amount ever. Therefore, whatever you wrote down, is your

—

Addictive Voice in print, in your are

some

own

handwriting. Here

may have

possible reasons you

2.

your return to alcohol. Screw it. Just do it. It can't really be any different.

3.

I

am an

4.

I

want

accepted to

justify 1.

5. Ill

6.

alcoholic,

it,

so

111

and

why

that's

have some. To

I

drink.

hell with

it.

be careful this time. Just a little won't hurt. five days now. You deserve a

You've been good for

drink. 7.

haven't

I

A

lousy.

had anything

drink

will

help

for

me

two weeks and

feel better.

I

still feel

Sobriety sucks,

anyhow. 8. Life

sucks. There

is

only one thing that feels right.

A

drink.

10.

A drink will make this a perfect moment. I'm in good health. My body can take

1 1.

I'm in

9.

I

feel

good.

it.

bad

health. What's the use of quitting?

12.1 need alcohol to regulate

my body. My body

requires

it.

13.

think

What I

will

people think

if

have a drinking problem.

74

I

don't drink?

They may

14. it

can't stand this constant craving.

I

I

may

as well get

over with and drink. 15.

I

more than

can't go

without drinking.

It's

etc.)

time to drink again.

Drinking enriches

16.

one month,

(three days,

my

life.

It's

one of

life's

few

genuine pleasures. 17.

I

can't stand feeling so (bored, stressed, depressed,

anxious, angry, 18.

This

is

etc.).

I

need a drink,

right now.

a very special occasion.

It

wouldn't be right

without having a drink. 19.

I

can't enjoy music, TV, food, parties, sex, traveling,

or have fun without drinking. 20.

I

need something

This

some get you is

to relax after a

hard day's work.

of the language that your Addictive Voice

uses to to drink. The list could go on and on, because the Addictive Voice is very creative in finding new reasons for drinking alcohol. One of the above reasons, or something close to it, was probably the one you wrote

down as

the reason you resumed drinking after not

drinking for a while. But your Beast creative than

I

am, and

it

is

probably more

may have found

a reason

I

haven't thought of here.

Look again at the sentence you just wrote justifying your return to alcohol. Do you still stand behind that statement? If you do, you are failing to recognize your Addictive Voice. By now, you probably sense that your own thinking about the use of alcohol isn't logical or sensible. The thinking isn't really you. How many times has someone who knows you said, "When you drink, you aren't really yourself?

It's like

something

else takes over."

you understand this, you are beginning to separate from your Addictive Voice; you are thinking objectively about your Beast, not as "you," but as "it." If

75

Now, look through the twenty Addictive Voice statements above again. Note that fourteen of them use the pronoun, "I." Do you see the problem? Your Addictive Voice, which is your personal enemy, has taken control of the most important word in your vocabulary! It is masquerading as you, using your personal pronoun, "I." Soon, as you learn more about AVRT, that will no longer be possible. You will be in control. At last. That is what you want, isn't it?

76

Chapter 5

The Structural Model of Addiction Let's

move beyond

better concept.

AVRT

the disease model of addiction to a

presents you with a

new

vision of

The Final Fix is like an owner's manual for your brain. AVRT's structural model of addiction helps you to know what's going on inside your head. This gives you a strong advantage at times when your Beast is coming through loud and clear, and you feel vulnerable. When you catch on to what is happening between the structures of your brain, your addiction will no longer be a mystery to you. You will be able to see why you continued drinking in spite of it all. On the next page is a diagram of the human brain In a way.

addiction.

similar to ones that appear in junior high school science texts.

It

shows the anatomical structures

illustrates its

how

brain tissue

is

of the brain,

and

differentiated according to

function.

By studying Figure 2 and

getting familiar with the

way

regions of the brain interact, you can see the big picture of addiction. Notice there is

no attention paid

to brain

chemistry. For frequent reference, place a paper clip on the illustrated page.

77

The Structural Model of Addiction The

Human

Brain:

The Great Inhibitor

Addictive Voice Recognition Technique This figure presents o structural

The oddictrve voice

b

functions of the neocortex in feelings support

on

model of addiction. Use

it

and as an aid

as a visual reference

a neocortical expression of subcortical (midbrain) appetites. The midbrain its

addiction.

pursuit of alcohol or drugs. Auditory thoughts, visual imagery,

When one

recognizes fhot he 0/ she

midbrain, recognition of the addictive voice helps one dissociate from one's

own

is

possible.

"I

aWt want to

addictive mentality. Reclaiming the

AVRT. This chart has been called, "The

Gameboard

a

is

pronoun

"I"

is

AVRT".

enlist all of the

and a wide range of

neocortex and not a

drink, but "if does,"

of Rational Recovery.'

78

human

to learning

may

beast-like

a potent insight that

from the Beast

is

the essence of

Your brain comes in two parts, a large neocortex ("new brain"), which is the human brain, and beneath the neocortex, at the end of your spinal cord, is the midbrain, which is basically the brain of a beast Two brains. As I said earlier. There are two of you." I wasn't kidding. Your beast brain is the organ of physical survival. It is a control panel that regulates bodily processes necessary for survival such as breathing, temperature like

regulation, release of hormones, digestion, heartbeat,

the biological drives

and appetites

and

for oxygen, food, sex,

and — yes — drugs.

Your neocortex sleep,

it

is

is

you. Pure and simple.

only the cerebral neocortex

while the beast brain continues to do

you

alive.

When you

thinking, "I'm hungry.

something to

eat,"

wants. You

may

it

are

How

When you

— you — that sleeps its thing,

keeping

awake and hear yourself long until dinner? want I

your beast brain is alerting you to what also see mental images of food, and you

may

feel hungry and restless. It intends to survive and it prompt you to do practically anything to get food if you're hungry enough. The same is true with our most urgent survival appetite, which is for oxygen. Your neocortex is the organ that makes you human. It is the organ of consciousness. This awesome object the human neocortex is the organ of self-awareness. It gives you identity, a sense of existence. It is the seat of "I." It is the organ that makes you intelligent. Yes, in spite of your addiction, you are an intelligent being. Your neocortex is the organ of reason, and the organ of memory. Very importantly, the human brain is the center of language and of voluntary behavior. This is extremely important for you to know!

will

—

—

79

But the beast brain has none qualities.

It

is

of these abilities or

—

just a blob of flesh "beneath you"

underneath the human brain. It can do nothing on its except send messages that say to do this or to do that. It has a very short agenda. Survive! It has a little laboratory that measures blood contents and tells you when you're hungry, when you haven't had a sexual release for a long time, when you are low on oxygen, and when you are out of booze. It can't talk, but instead uses your language to enlist your voluntary muscles to get what it wants. You can hear it, using your language centers, telling you in sentences what to do. You can see mental images, in color, in action, and in freeze -frame, telling you what it wants. You experience feelings of desire, hunger, craving, anger, and fear in connection to

own

the necessities of life.

Separating Tour Self From Tour Beast

Look

at Figure 2

neocortex, which

is

again and see the two organs, the

you, and the midbrain, which

is

the

source of the Addictive Voice. Notice that the language

within the neocortex. Language involves speaking with your mouth, thinking in words, sentences, and pictures. The midbrain has no language whatsoever, and in order to be "heard," it must use your language

center

is

center. In effect, the midbrain

communicates with you

to

say what it wants, whether it is air, food, sex, or alcohol. With few exceptions, the midbrain is the organ of "yes," and the neocortex is the organ of "no." When you agree with what the midbrain wants, you take action. Very often, you disagree with what it wants. It will show you pictures and tell you to do stupid and inappropriate things.

If it tells

you, for example, to grab a fresh, moist

strawberry from the grocery display and pop

80

it

into

your

mouth, you would probably quickly and intelligently intervene and say, "No. Not now. Pay first. Then eat." If it is sexually attracted to someone, it may tell you to touch that person, but your neocortex may say, "No, that could cause trouble. Maybe later, or not at all." The philosopher, Descartes, said, "I think, therefore I am." For our purposes, we might go further than Descartes: "I inhibit, therefore I am human." Only You Notice in Figure 2 that the voluntary motor center, which controls your arms, legs, hands, mouth, and the swallowing muscles, is located in the neocortex. You have 100% control of your extremities and facial muscles. Actions are initiated through picture-language and selftalk. In order for your hand to move, you must know what you want it to do, usually in mental pictures, and then teD yourself, in effect, "Hand, pick up the glass." This picturing and self-talk is usually rapid and practically automatic, so that you are largely unaware of the process of initiating physical action.

In

AVRT, you

will

become acutely aware

of these

principles of voluntary behavior as they apply to your addiction.

It is

reassuring for you to understand that in

order for your Beast to get what

it

wants,

it

must

first

by telling you in pictures and words that it alcohol. Only "the neocortical you" can decide to drink or not drink. If a thought supports the use of alcohol, you will instantly recognize it as coming from the Beast. Alcohol is a very significant substance, both to you and to your Beast. "It" will always love alcohol for the comfort and pleasure it brings; you will always intelligently disdain it for what it has done and can do to

identify itself

wants

81

you. Recognition

as effortless as naming a familiar on, your Beast is an object, and not you. is

From now Why can't I remember the pain? Pain of any kind is not remembered well. You may remember that something was painful, but memories of the object. 14

pain

itself

quickly fade.

It

has been said that

if

women

could completely remember the pain of childbirth, there

would be no population problem. Forgetting pain is much more dramatic in addictions. One man struggling with his addiction got drunk and drove his car off a cliff. In the emergency room, he cried out, "Why can't I remember? I've been in the hospital dozens of times, with tubes sticking out of me like this. Why can't I remember the pain and the horror?" The answer is simple. Notice in Figure 2 that memory is entirely contained within the neocortex. This shows why the Beast "forgets" pain associated with drinking. Just as

with the language and motor centers, the Beast has access

memory, and uses certain memories to its advantage. It it wants to remember, in order to get what it wants. Therefore, it is incapable of remembering pain associated with drinking alcohol. During a "Beast attack," it will show you pictures of past pleasure, and you will feel aroused. At those times it is extremely difficult to "remember" the negative consequences of drinking. The Beast has no memory of its own, but calls up your memory of past pleasure as a way of seducing you into more drinking. It was not long before this man drank again, and ended up in the emergency room once again. He forgot. In traditional recovery programs group members tell and re-tell stories of drunkenness and relapse, with emphasis on the ugly and painful. They tell of "hitting to

"remembers" only what

82

bottom" and recall

its

pain and despair. These "drunkalog"

rituals are a tribute to the difficulty that all addicted

people have remembering pain. They are a feeble attempt to

keep the pain

as a deterrent against a decision to and inconvenient way to abstain, and, judging from the poor abstinence rates in drink.

But

alive,

this is a costly

those programs,

ineffective

comment

as well.

In fact,

many

want to drink is after hearing stories of drunkenness at meetings. Part of the problem is that the storytellers themselves have forgotten the pain. They present their "war stories" in an entertaining or even humorous way, an approach that is as counterproductive as it is participants

that the only time they really

appealing to the Beast. In Rational Recovery

it

is

unnecessary to exhume past

horrors to deter future drinking or using. You can do what is

natural and gradually forget

it.

When we

say, "Close the

book on that sorry chapter of your life," we mean it. In AVRT, pain is only a means to an end permanent abstinence. Pain is the classroom for AVRT, but eventually

—

school

The

is out.

rationale for abstinence

Compared addiction

is

to the disease model, the structural

by

far the

model

more convincing argument

of

for

permanent abstinence. In the disease model, the justification for abstinence is

based largely on your faith

that alcoholism is a disease. But there is no evidence for

and your Beast probably understands this clearly. Therefore, when tempted to drink, you may quite reasonably surrender faith and doubt that there is such a disease as alcoholism. Even if there is a disease of alcoholism, you may correctly reason, you probably don't have it because you feel so unlike others who call

this "disease,"

83

themselves "alcoholic." So, as an experiment, you once again test the waters and have a serious relapse.

may

"Treatment" trusts that you will not abstain until you

have reached other goals, and sets you about the task of solving them. If you solve important problems such as self-worth, self- awareness, relationships, and childhood conflicts, deprivations and traumas, you are still left with

your original desire

to

intoxicate

Some

yourself.

"treatment" promises to help you reach the nirvana of addicted people, moderate or controlled drinking or using,

and your Beast may be

terribly interested in exploring

those avenues. You, however, suspicious of your

own

may become

sanely

capacity to drink moderately once

you better understand the structural model. You may even wonder why some professional people still want to help addicted people to drink.

Now

let

us look

at the action of alcohol

upon these

two separate regions of your brain. When alcohol enters the bloodstream, it affects the midbrain and the neocortex at the same time, but in exactly opposite ways. The effect on the midbrain is rapid arousal, and the effect on the neocortex is impairment. So, with every drink you are not only becoming less inhibited in many ways, but also experiencing a rapidly increasing desire to drink more alcohol (See Figure 3, next page).

Many have

described a "slippery slope" in their

number of be a point -of- no-return. The

drinking patterns, as though after a certain

drinks there seems to structural model accounts for the apparent loss of control as a natural, predictable function of the human body. Moreover, when the action of alcohol upon the brain structures

is

understood, the case for abstinence

quite clear.

84

is

made

Neocorucal functioning

Midbrain (beast brain) functioning

# Drinks:

2

1

Figure

3.

3

The Crossover Effect

With every drink, your midbrain generates an increased desire to drink another, and you enjoy the pleasurable sensations more and more. This desire is your Beast. This often continues until you have reached very high blood levels. At the same time your desire is increasing, the action of alcohol on the neocortex is reducing your self-control. Even though you want to drink moderately, you are soon in no shape to drink moderately. Your Beast explodes with desire, and you feel its, "Yes, another!" from head to toe. Your Beast understands that moderate drinking means no more deeeeeep pleasure, but it likes the idea because it knows it will very likely get the

85

upper hand with just a few drinks. The next day you wonder, "Why, why, why?" As you develop tolerance for alcohol over time, it takes increased blood alcohol levels for you to "feel it." "Reasonable" levels of blood alcohol

means

"not feeling

it."

Moderation finally becomes such a struggle that abstinence becomes much easier. As one person commented, "It is hard to control a lion on a leash. That's why we keep them in cages." Even beyond the structural model, you may find ample reasons to elect abstinence, such as the following: 1. Abstinence is risk-free. To continue trying to drink moderately exposes you to more of the experiences that are the very reasons you want to stop drinking. 2. Abstinence is easier and far simpler. Measuring the amounts and numbers of drinks while you are struggling with your desire to drink more can be quite frustrating, almost 3.

like coitus tnterruptus.

Abstinence

feels better.

"Chronic abstinence" leads to an

actual preference to be mentally clear at

all

times.

The Big Plan vs. One Day at a Time Wondering why you drink in spite of it all can be agonizing. By now, you may have a much better understanding of why you drank.

way of looking at it. Maybe made up your mind to quit! You may recall that in the past quitting was But, here's another

you've

never

indefinite time.

for

an

Open-ended. Staying sober was a one-dayYou ventured out into the real

at-a-time experiment.

world, running just on your if

you might

buy. So,

like

when

it.

own

You could was not

reality

natural chemicals, to see

look,

Beast simply pointed out that after

86

but you didn't have to your liking, your

entirely to all

that time,

you

still

it's cracked up to be, and would be a reasonable thing to have a few drinks to take the edge off your bad feelings or just to give a little zing when you feel restless and down. "What's the problem with a little drinky-poo?" your Beast may have

felt

lousy, that sobriety wasn't all

that

maybe

it

innocently asked.

This Beast strategy works well

when you have been

in

You may talk about your "issues" you are blue in the face, make amends with all but the doctor whom you offended by being born, you may do moral inventories until the Vatican finally learns of your perfection and declares you a saint, you may see an analyst until your head is on perfectly straight, and you may dispute your irrational ideas until the cows come home, but you will still absolutely know that it would be damn nice to have a drink if only to celebrate your fine, fine life. That awareness is your Beast, and there is no way that I know of to remove it from your consciousness. addiction "treatment." until

—

Addiction getting

is

used

a state of being, a fact of to

it

so that finally

it

is

life;

—

"I

am

is

the

name

of a

you have attended an alcoholic," your Beast

the disease of relapse.

those meetings and said,

a way of

not even a nuisance.

In 12 -step meetings your identity

disease

AVRT is

If

was

listening carefully. It noticed the revolving door through which the majority of members passed as they dropped out, drank to destruction, and then returned (most of them don't), shamed and grateful, to Mother Group. Your Beast is comfortable with your surrender of control to a poorly-understood Higher Power, your dependence upon others for sobriety, and your "alcoholic" self-concept.

It

delights in your short-range plan to remain

sober "one-day-at-a-time," and in your sharing graphic, entertaining stories of past drinking episodes.

87

But

this is

not very inspiring to people

who

sincerely

want

to stop

drinking and live free. The last thing your Beast wants you to do is to take control of your feelings and behavior, to become emotionally independent, to lay down the law with yourself about drinking, to stop always thinking

about recovery, to allow yourself to naturally forget about the reasons you quit,

as a person

who

and then

never drinks.

happy Beasts despise AVKT. to live a normal,

life

The Big Plan

A

Big Plan

is

spelled with capital letters to signify its

importance to people

who

enter into one.

irreversible decision to abstain will live

to

A Big Plan is

from alcohol.

an Because you

with your Big Plan for the rest of your

be taken

lightly,

life, it is

not

and requires considerable thought and

contemplation. If

you are

actively considering a Big Plan for yourself

after reading only this far, stop. Think.

Be

careful of what

you are getting into. Read on before any further commitment. A Big Plan may not be for you at all. Moderation is fine, if you can do it, and "one-day-at-aw time actually works for many people, in AA or not. You

may do much

better with continued efforts to drink moderately or use drugs recreationally. On the other hand, you may also suffer serious consequences from further efforts to moderate, including death.

You

are free

choose further drinking or drugging, provided you are willing to pay the consequences. to

The Key Question Ask yourself right now, "What

my

present plan for the future use of alcohol or drugs?" Ah, yes. This is the is

question, isn't it?

What

your real plan for drinking alcohol? Have you had enough? Drinking is always a choice, isn't it? Isn't it? is

88

and no matter how many times youVe quit before, or how many programs you've tried, and no matter how long you've been struggling with your addiction, you have always chosen to resume drinking or Of course

it is,

using once again. Yet,

when you

are confronted with the key question,

your plan?", you still have no clear plan to stop drinking. In effect, you still intend to get loaded any time you really feel like it! You may cut back, take a vacation from it for a while, or wait for the desire to someday disappear, but your Beast stops you from promising yourself that you will never drink again. In the logic of AVRT, the absence of a plan to quit for good is a plan, now, to drink. You are being challenged here and now to take responsibility for your addiction and your own

"What

is

recovery.

The

alternative is to string

it

out until you're

really strung out.

Feel your Beast struggle

How do you

feel (the

emotion) about the idea of never

again drinking or using drugs? Or, to put it more bluntly, how do you feel now about never feeling high again? If

you

aren't sure about this question, here is a

clarifying procedure.

Think about the rest of your life, and all the possible situations you will encounter that would suggest drinking or using drugs. You will know boredom and depression, happiness and sadness. With family and friends you will celebrate many holidays and birthdays, and attend many weddings, funerals, picnics, and other social occasions. You will be alone and travel into strange places, and you will be offered drinks by many pleasant, fine people. You will be employed and unemployed, you will succeed and fail, and one day you may retire. And think about your 89

mixed just right, and you get when you take those first

favorite drink, cooled to perfection,

the wonderful feeling

few

sips.

— — for the never tasting your favorite brew, wine, or liquor Once

again, now, think of never feeling high again

Now, how does it feel? very likely an unpleasant

rest of your It

is

life.

feeling.

It

may

be

sadness, anxiety, depression, anger, panic, or other bad feelings. Listen!

Listen to your thoughts about this deprivation, too.

them down. Really. Get a paper, right now, and write down your thoughts and feelings about never drinking or

Write

using again.

your Beast. You are feeling your addiction to alcohol or drugs, feeling your personal nemesis, your personal enemy itself, the infamous Beast of Rational Recovery. The sorry pictures you see of yourself, deprived of comfort and joy, are being shown to you by your Beast. The thoughts you hear are the sounds of your Beast. "That would be terrible," it may say. "You can't do n it. Never say never, you may hear. "Put this book down.

The

This

feeling

is stupid,"

is

may urge.

it

But as you read

this material there is another voice,

the voice of you. That voice this: "Yes, this is

had

all

along.

I

may be

saying something like

the truth of the matter, the problem

dearly, dearly love to drink.

And

I

I've

have it and

been quite passive toward my addiction. I yield to then make up all kinds of excuses about how all of my ancestors were drunks and so was my step-mother, and how I'm an alcoholic and my liver metabolizes alcohol differently than normal people's, how I think alcohol is medicine for depression, how I had such a rotten childhood, how my father must have molested me, and

90

how

alcohol

enough

a substitute for love and

is

love, so

have a plan to drink/

I

drink.

quit,

And much

I

worse,

mainly because

I

ain't gettin' I

don't even

absolutely love to

you are thinking along these lines, then your neocortex, which is really you, is at work, and you are recognizing your Addictive Voice, with its endless rationalizations, excuses, and arguments for drinking or drugging. You are using AVRT, an intellectual thought process. If you are uncomfortable with an experimental Big Plan, and you can hear your disturbing thoughts about permanent abstinence, then you are recognizing your Addictive Voice. You are getting the hang of AVRT very nicely, and making some serious headway toward permanent abstinence. When you think of how deeply pleasurable drinking is, If

it

is

sad to think, "Never again." And it isn't fair, that life few simple, predictable pleasures, that so much

offers so

bad comes

you from drinking, and that most people can drink when they choose without harm. And what will it be

like, at

to

those special times

when

ahead and have just one tt

it

little

will

be so enticing to go

drinky-poo? You

may

be sooooo difficult, even embarrassing, to turn down that drink and just think of the craving, desiring, almost tasting the substance and feeling its effects. How frustrating it will be!" And how will you get through bad times when your favorite stuff has always think,

It

will

been there

to take the edge off?

How

dreadful, to be

without that special comfort in a time of need. Oh, dear.

These are some of the ideas that you can expect from your Beast. In later pages, you will learn the rules of the recovery game. Then, you can aggressively challenge the Beast, knowing ahead of time that you will win! 91

Defusing the time factor

Even though you may sincerely want

to never drink

again, the possibility of future drinking or using is exciting to the Beast. Saying "No" is

no big

deal.

Any addicted

and all do abstain from time to time. But saying "never" is an entirely different experience. And here is the reason. The midbrain is without a sense of time. It lives as a speck in eternity, tending to the now; on its own, it does not comprehend the possibility of a future.

person can do

it

Attempting your anxiety because

it

first

dive off a high-board will produce

— your midbrain — knows that

the

preparing to do something that apparently threatens its survival. It doesn't trust the neocortex, no matter now intelligent and reasonable it is

neocortex (you)

is

to jump head-first into ten feet of water for the

fun of it.

It

is scared of death, and you may stand on the end of the board, one-day-at-a-time, for the rest of your life, waiting

for the anxiety to subside

and

for the fear to go away.

But

if you decide to do the fearsome thing and do it, it is done. The fear will rapidly diminish over the next few jumps and soon be forgotten. Diving then becomes effortless, and the anxiety a curious memory. The difficulty in establishing a Big Plan centers around

the finality of "never."

your reasoning

On

ability to

"How can

this issue, the Beast will use

defend

itself.

"Never say never,"

it

know

I will never drink again? It say *never.' I've said 'never' a thousand times, and I always went back, so what's the difference now?" And so on. But the whole issue of the Big Plan centers around the illusion of time, and the Beast is

will chide.

feels like a lie

I

when

I

a master of illusions. Consider:

What is time in the first place? Is it like a railroad track and we are trolleys free-wheeling toward a distant 92

horizon? Are we able to look back and see the tracks behind and all the things along the way? Not exactly. Here we get into an interesting discussion, one worth learning in relation to the Big Plan of RR.

Although time

The

is

not spatial,

we

perceive

it

as such.

idea, "week," generates a spatial design with seven

segments, a month, thirty or so days or four weeks, a year twelve months, a decade, ten blocks of time, and so on.

Although time does not exist in that form, your Beast loves that scheme. It bets its life that you will drink or use during at least one of those time slots, in an hour, in a day, in a year, or decades from now. Once the inevitability of future self- intoxication is assured, the Beast then works with that idea, corralling all time into the present moment, seeking the earliest possible time for intoxication.

"If

I'm

why not now?" the Addictive Voice be off probation in six months," so I can around the fifth month," and so on.

going to drink

later,

will argue. Til

sneak a

little

One woman, age

30,

who was

attempting a Big Plan

said she liked the idea of not drinking, but complained

that she couldn't live with "the never part." She found

comfort in the idea of drinking on her eightieth birthday to

happy years of abstinence. "I can live with she blithely explained. When asked to transpose the addictive grammar, as is done in AVRT, she u exclaimed, It can live with that plan! It can't tolerate never, but I can, and I will!" Are you ready for this? In AVRT, time does not exist! "Now" is an infinitely small interval that contains all that exists. All there is, is now. The future is only a possibility, but even then, it will be now. Nothing exists tomorrow, although everything may exist then. When you started this sentence, it was now, then. But it is still the present

celebrate this

fifty

plan,"

93

always be now. Do you see? With the Big Plan, we meet the Beast on its own turf eternity itself. We reduce our understanding of time to reality as the Beast understands it. Because it is always now, we may firmly make a plan for the rest of our lives

moment, now, and

it

will

—

based on the clear understanding, "I will never now drink/ There is no parallel between the never-now approach of

RR and the

seems

so,

12-step one-day-at-a-time-forever idea.

here

is

the concept once again: "Never"

opposite of one-day-at-a-time-forever.

The

latter, if

is

If it

the

applied

would have the diver decide, Til If I jump and don't like it, I can always change my mind." The more rational diver would conclude, "My beast-brain sees danger that I do not. I dislike standing here afraid, and I sincerely want the to the high-dive example,

dive, but only one inch at a time.

pleasure of diving into the water, so here goes!" In the 12step approach, one is always diving but never quite

reaching the pool. In RR,

and experience the joy

By

we

hit the

water with a splash

of being in control.

collapsing the Big Plan for endless abstinence into

the never-ending now, the task

although there

is

is

made

quite feasible,

probably no way to stave

off

the

initial

but temporary anxiety and grief over this life-changing decision. Would you rather suffer a few minutes of acute anxiety or a lifetime of recovering? Ironically,

the Big Plan of

RR

is

optional.

RR

Coordinators are cautioned to avoid advising participants to abstain or to suggest that not having a Big Plan is a

warning sign. If a plan for permanent abstinence does not come from one's own intelligence, as a personal decision, then it will not come at all. Drinking or using is a personal matter, not one to turn over to others, no matter how well-meaning, authoritative, or competent they may be.

94

Chapter 6

Sick or stupid? you aren't an alcoholic, sick with a disease, then what are you? Stupid? No, but of course your behavior is If

stupid!

you behave stupidly, are you a stupid person? Be careful here. If you understand what you are reading here, then you are not stupid. But I'll guess that you feel pretty stupid at times, and you may call yourself some rather bad names, too. If youVe acted badly while drunk or during blackouts, you know the shame and humiliation you felt the next day when someone told you what you were doing. That is feeling stupid and then some. If you've been to court on a drunk driving charge, or lost a job because of your drinking, you may feel stupid. Feeling stupid, feeling guilty, and feeling ashamed are all about the same thing. These feelings are caused by what you think of yourself when you screw up. Almost all of your feelings are caused by what you think. If you blame yourself and put yourself down in your own thinking, you will feel rotten. You feel the way you think. But suppose you find out that you aren't really responsible for your drinking? Suppose you learn that your drinking is a disease you inherited from your If

95

drunken ancestors, and that

all

along you have been

powerless to do anything other than drink the way you did? Wouldn't that be comforting?

You

couldn't really

blame yourself, could you? In Rational Recovery,

we have no such

comfort.

Instead of "copping a disease," you will take a direct

hit

of

moral responsibility for everything you did, for everyone you harmed, and for every drink you took. You are responsible for it all, and you are also solely responsible for learning to abstain from alcohol. Period. But does being responsible mean that you must blame and condemn yourself for what you have done? Will you have to grovel and apologize as a condition of staying sober? How will feeling guilty or ashamed help you? Does it help anyone else if you feel rotten about yourself? Does feeling guilty change anything for the better? Does it help you to stay sober? Hardly. In fact, your feelings of disgust for yourself snap shut the trap of addiction. Your Beast, seeking only the next

you that because of your drunkenness you are no good, and it has a perfect solution for your nasty pangs of guilt another drink! But soon you reap more guilt from the drinking you did to relieve the guilt. Your guilt is enough to drive you to drink, so you drink some more. Egad. That's right EGAD. Error > Guilt > And Drink (or drink, agrees with

—

—

—

Drug). This

is

the vicious cycle that nearly

all

addicted

people experience to some degree, often to a serious,

threatening degree.

way

to

It is

vitally

break the cycle before

life-

important that you find a

it

breaks you. For some,

it

helps to believe a disease is causing the drinking, for others confessing to another or to a deity still

others find that making

96

amends

is helpful,

and

to others relieves

some

guilt.

But most people find these

on remaining abstinent. You may want to stop drinking

activities

have no

effect

in order to feel better

about yourself, in order to build your self-esteem. The idea is that you are a bad person because you drink and

here

you stop drinking you will be good. Good luck. To accept yourself on the condition that you remain sober probably won't work for you, because it rarely works for anyone else. It doesn't take a genius to understand that one's worth as a human being can hardly be proven by not doing something. Many people quit behave poorly; therefore,

if

drinking with the expectation that they will

feel better

about themselves. Soon, they discover that they still feel bad about themselves, and find little incentive to remain sober. Back to the drawing board.

USA-Today: a key in Rational Recovery In Rational Recovery, however, you are guided toward unconditional self- acceptance, the opposite of doing moral exercises or becoming sober in order to relieve guilt. Unconditional self-acceptance, right now (USA-today),

means

that you

may

take an elegant short-cut to

self-

worth by simply accepting yourself a human being who is neither good nor bad, but simply fallible. This may not be an entirely new idea to you. You have probably suspected from time to time that you aren't really a bad person, but only an imperfect one. After all, everybody's human, and everybody makes mistakes. Right? But suspicions and beliefs are quite different in their effects. As long as you believe that your rotten behavior proves what a rotten person you are, you will feel rotten. If you suspect that you are neither saint nor sinner, but merely human and therefore fallible, then now is

a perfect time to give this issue some serious thought.

97

YouVe already found that guilt and low self-esteem only leads to more drinking. Now it's time to try something different, like making up your own self- worth, on your own authority, instead of trying to prove it! Tiy it. You'll like

What

is

it.

now from completely person that you can

there to stop you right

accepting yourself as a

fallible

nevertheless choose to like? Do you want to accept yourself right now? If you want to, there is nothing to stop you. Your thoughts are your own, and you are free to

think whatever you choose.

now by

slowly

and

myself the way words.

Do

it

I

Go ahead. Accept

carefully thinking the words,

yourself "I

accept

am." Think about the meaning of those

right this second.

Did you do it? If you did, how did it feel? Did you notice any feelings as you accepted yourself? Did your mood lift? I hope you had that experience, because it can improve the way you feel when sober. You feel the way you think, and you can choose to feel good about yourself any time you choose, based on your own intelligence and your own authority. It feels good to control your feelings. Or did you draw a blank? Try it again. Try until you notice a pleasant feeling of self-acceptance. Keep it simple. If you are able to get a good feeling from this exercise, fine. But the next paragraphs will help you affirm your self- acceptance, and help you overcome some common blocks to USA-today.

When you try the USA exercise, does anything inhibit you or stop you? Many people hear the following irrational ideas, interfering with the simple idea of self-

acceptance: 1.

2.

but you know it isn't true. Accept myself? After all that I have done? Impossible.

You can think

it,

98

3.

more 4.

am

I

a failure.

I

can never

forgive myself for not being

successful.

my

accept myself by realizing

I

positive side.

am

I

honest, kind to others, like to help people, have a good

sense of humor, never kick dogs or cats,

I

my best, and

do

other people like me. 5. If

accept myself as

I

I

am,

I

will

remain the same or get

worse. 6. If

accept myself unconditionally, then

I

go wild,

will

I

doing antisocial things, drinking, and anything

want.

I

Each of these irrational ideas is a block to selfacceptance that results in emotional disturbance. By cashing in on your IQ and disputing them, you will find that they are transparently false.

A good way to

start is to

think of a vertical scale marked from one to ten. This represents the doctrine of variable human worth. Our nutty culture insists that there are good people, bad

and many somewhere

people,

worth of scale,

human

beings

in between.

may be

rated, as

It is

if

as

if

the

on a rating

as in Figure 4 on the next page.

In this philosophy, one

may be

rated lower than a

snake's belly on one day, but on the next day be a virtual saint.

A

scorned and guilt-ridden

save a dog's others

may

life

and

feel his

thief, for

example,

human worth go

soaring.

strongly agree that his stock has gone

account of his behavior. But is human worth something that changes, value of a

common

may And

up on

like the

stock, according to one's performance?

Are people really "good people" or "bad people?" How can the worth of a man or woman be known? Can we know about every action he or she ever took, assign each act a number value, and then apply a formula to arrive at a current rating? Does one negative act nullify

99

all

previous

Saints

—

10

— Great leaders — Honest people — Sober people — Good family people — Ordinary people — Thieves — Drunks — Junkies — Child abusers —

-9

Self-sacrificing helpers

-7 -5

You can make up your own categories

-4 -3 -2 -1

Figure 4 The Doctrine of Variable

Human Worth

Supposing someone behaves well, or even helps people greatly, but has antisocial, "bad," thoughts? Supposing a war hero robs a bank? Is he "good?" "Bad?" Does he balance out to a "5" on the "10 scale?" Or would he make "7?" Or, how about zero? According to whom? Where is it written? These questions have troubled humans throughout history. Many philosophers discourage the rating game, and many world positive behavior?

religions prohibit the rating

game

— at least as a human

pursuit.

The human worth rating called the Hitlerian Scale.

100

scale in Figure 4 could be

Adolph had a scheme

for rating

human

worth, and he applied

it

He knew who

with vigor.

the worthy and the unworthy were, and adopted social policies that reflected his intense bigotry. sidelight to the Hitler saga is that

if

An

he had

interesting

lost

power or

died in early 1939, he would probably be regarded as the greatest leader in

German

history, a "good"

man who

Germany out of poverty into prosperity, and who made peace among nations. He was greatly admired by pulled

England's leadership and even by most Americans. Did his

worth as a human being really fall as he brought tragedy to the world? If so, to whom? If two people have different ratings of Hitler, not as a leader but as a person, how can the "truth* be known? Perhaps it is better to say that A.H. was racist, bigoted, insane, misguided, dangerous, dictatorial, murderous, angry, and many other provable adjectives. But "worthless" and "bad" are only opinions and bigoted ones at that. To say he was worthless, rotten,

—

evil,

or

bad

is

applying Hitler's

own

bigoted philosophy to

the

man himself.

so.

Are there good mice and bad mice? Some seem to think "Good" mice are white, found in laboratories, suffering

at

the

hands

of

"bad"

"Good" people and sometimes trespass to

scientists.

demonstrate outside the labs, But these rescuers are not interested in gray mice that may live under your kitchen sink. They

free the "good" mice.

are unworthy of political action, which would logically lead to picketing the manufacturers of those instruments of mutilation

and death

Albert Schweitzer

— mouse traps for "bad" mice.

was a physician-philosopher who

practiced the ideal, "reverence for

life."

A vegetarian,

he

would not even squash a bug, even though his hospital was deep in the jungle. Although his behavior was somewhat rigid, he refused to devalue living things. Life to 101

him was sacred.

Something like this underlies unconditional self- acceptance, which places value on one's

own

life

regardless of one's behavior or the opinions

of others.

Because you are programmed biologically to survive, you may accept the value that your body places on itself. You also realize that you prefer pleasure over pain and want good things for yourself. If you are successful, talented, or achieving, that does not prove that you are a better person. It is simply better for you to succeed than to fail, to be talented rather than awkward, and to get what you want. Likewise, if you fail in some important way, that does not prove that you are a "bad" person, and it makes no sense for you to put yourself down by blaming, damning, rating, or condemning yourself. About your motivation Why do you want to stop drinking in the first place? What's in it for you? Are you trying to become a better person?

If so,

there

is

a Fellowship of people

who will

with you and help you to build self-esteem. You

agree

will

do

moral betterment exercises, make amends to people, and tell others about your wretched guilt. Your worth will be tied to your Higher Power, and measured by group standards such as time sober, your humility (how selfless you appear), and how much you help others. It works for some, but certainly not for all. Is the purpose of your life to "be good?** Have you been "bad?" Are you getting the picture here? In Rational Recovery, the purpose of abstaining from alcohol is not to prove that you are a better person, but to open the doors to genuine pleasure, as you define it. Ask yourself, "Are people who do not drink or use drugs "better" than people who intoxicate themselves?" 102

may

of a human being taken into the body. But you

you can see that the worth

Surely,

cannot hinge on what

is

persist, "It isn't the drinking or drugging;

it's

what

I

have done as a result of it. I have been dishonest, abusive, insensitive, and even violent, and I have failed myself in many important ways. Doesn't that prove that I'm a

worm, and hadn't again

feel like

No

—

I

better stop drinking so that

a decent

I

may

once

human being?"

you follow reason drinking, as you point out,

to its conclusion.

if

is

only one of

Your

many

imperfections about you, and, because you deplore your

drinking behavior doesn't

The

mean

that you

must deplore

causes your guilt is, "In order to consider myself a worthwhile human being, I must be successful and competent, and if I fail in any important way, that proves I'm no good, that I'm a bad

yourself.

irrational belief that

person."

USA-today

may seem

like

a

order, but

tall

it

is

there for

moment you choose to accept yourself for what you really are — a fallible human

the taking, right now, or at any

being whose worth or value cannot be rated in any provable way. It may seem elusive at first, but with practice

it

unconditional

you may

becomes

second

self- acceptance is

nature.

Although

not essential to AVRT,

more satisfaction being sober as a selfaccepting person, and your Beast will be deprived of one more of its many avenues to intoxication. The concept is quite simple, and with practice, anyone can do it, as find

below:

#1

:

Do you

like yourself?

do like myself. #1: What do you base that upon? #2: Nothing other than the fact that I'm #2: Yes,

I

103

alive.

#1

:

Why do you

#2:

Because

#1:

What

it

like yourself?

feels

much better than to

dislike myself.

stops you from becoming a criminal or

sociopath? #2:

If

I

like myself,

accepting myself,

it

is

why would easier to

behave poorly? By accept others, and I would I

rather have friends than enemies.

who have no guilt. people who don't care about

#1: Sociopaths are people

#2: No, sociopaths are

the

To me, suffering is ugly. Don't you feel bad about yourself when you make a big

suffering of others.

#1:

mistake?

bad about what I did, but not about myself. #1: Suppose you have a big relapse and make big trouble? #2: I would stop as soon as possible and get on with things. I wouldn't feel guilty, but I would regret the whole #2:

I

feel

thing.

#1:

If

you don't

feel guilty

about your drinking, then why

stop drinking at all?

Because I like myself, and want a better life. Now, if you are ready to accept yourself as a fallible yet worthwhile human being, look up from the page and do it. Enjoy your self. Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy (REST) Originally, Rational Recovery had a heavy emphasis on REBT as a central ingredient in sobriety. It was presented as an alternative to the irrational philosophy of the 12 -step program, an approach that many would prefer to the spiritual lifestyle of AA. But difficulties arose when people began assuming that one may defeat an addiction by disputing irrational ideas that cause behavioral and emotional disturbance. Because so many people choose to reason with and dispute the Beast using REBT, the result #2:

104

is

a mistaken public impression that Rational Recovery,

which only borrows some

of the concepts of

REBT,

actively

supports "controlled" drinking. Nothing could be further

from the truth. I

contributed to this problem by

my own

mistaken

assumptions, and by publishing a handout called the Sobriety Spreadsheet. It presented the ABC format along with brief mention of the Beast concept; presented on the back were some common irrational ideas that would seem to "fuel" addiction (see next page).

In my direct work with hundreds of addicted people, and in reviewing their progress later on, I found that it was impossible to predict which individuals would relapse or remain sober based on their use of REBT. Marry people,

leaving the RR "treatment" program, appeared to have made major breakthroughs using REBT concepts such as unconditional self- acceptance, accepting reality, increasing their frustration tolerance, and taking risks of

upon

and failure. It was surprising to learn that some them very promptly resumed drinking and suffered serious setbacks in recovery. But others who seemed

rejection

of

destined to resume drinking because they were

still

quite

shameful, anxious, angry, guilt-ridden, self-rating, and had poor coping skills, remain sober as a stone today. They continue to be their imperfect, irrational selves, yet

—

stubbornly refuse to drink anything yes, anything! Consequently, they have considerably fewer problems with which to cope, and they have the great advantage of being mentally clear in solving them. Think of this. There are so

many

and ministers who become addicted that AA groups for them. And there are enough atheists and humanists who become addicted that priests

there are special there are

also

AA

groups 105

for

them. Moreover,

I

am

aware

Rational Ideas

Irrational Ideas 1. I am powerless over my alcoholic cravings, and therefore not responsible for what I put in my mouth. 2. In order to feel like a worthwhile person, I

must stop drinking.

My

3.

are

painful emotions and alcoholic cravings

and must be controlled by

intolerable,

have voluntary control over

•I

and

hands,

feet,

stop drinking and build a better life

will

•I

my

facial muscles.

because I am worthwhile to myself. Some discomfort is a necessary and harmless part of defeating an addiction.

drinking alcohol.

My feelings and emotions are forced upon by certain people or by events. 5. I must be respected, loved, or approved of.

4.

me

feel the

•I

way

I

think, so

can control

I

my

feelings.

do not need love and respect, although

•I

usually prefer

Rejection

it.

is

I

another's opinion

I may agree or disagree. I accept myself simply because it feels better. In this matter, I have the final word. •I am a fallible, yet worthwhile human being. I

of me.

Because

6.

I

have made some big mistakes,

I

should blame myself and feel worthless and

may

guilty.

behavior,

feel regrets, remorse, or sadness for I

need not conclude that

my past am a

I

worthless person.

Many

makes no sense

blame others for their Blaming

people should be different than they are, and should be blamed and punished for their

mistakes, because they, too, are human.

mistakes.

others

7.

8.

In order to feel

successful, and if

good about myself,

I fail in

I

must be

some important way,

it

proves that I'm a rotten, worthless person. 9.

If "things" aren't the

much

to be, then

way

it's terrible,

I

want them very

horrible, awful.

•It

is

to

a failure to accept reality.

•Succeeding does not make me into a success, and failing doesn't make me into a failure. I need not rate myself according to my accomplishments. •Terrible" and "awful" are magical words that only define each other. Nothing can be more than

100 percent bad or completely unfortunate, so I can learn to remain relatively calm in any situation. If I cannot change or control conditions, I can choose to accept any misfortune.

The

10.

past

is

an important cause of

my

•I

now

change

problems.

feel the

I now think, so I may now about past sorrows, losses, and

way

my mind

disappointments. 11.

I

absolutely must not drink, no matter what,

because one drink would lead to

my

downfall.

•As time goes by, drinking or using appears more and more stupid. But, if I do stupidly relapse, it won't be awful, because I can quickly and guiltlessly recover again.

12.

I

am

an alcoholic, so

someone stronger or

I

need something or

myself to

greater than

depend upon. Because addiction has caused 13. problems,

it

will continue to affect

me

me

great

frequently

and forever.

•Dependency

is

my

take independently. better

•Sobriety

to

original problem, and

the

risks

is self-fulfilling,

and there

is

it

is

thinking

of

much more

to life than struggling to remain sober. Therefore, I

will gradually close the

and become involved

book on

in

my

activities

addiction

and goals

outside of myself. 14.

There

and

until

is I

a perfect solution for life's problems,

find

it, I

am doomed

to unhappiness.

106

life, and seeking waste of time. I will do better to view life as a personal experiment, seeking my own pleasures and caring for myself.

•Uncertainty can be the spice of

a perfect solution is silly, a

of a

number

who are seriouslygood many years I was one

rational therapists

of

addicted. (Heaven knows, for a

myself.) Doesn't this suggest that neither spirituality nor

rationality is the correct

axis of predisposition for

addiction or recovery? Are spiritually or rationally-

awakened people or drugs?

I

really

more

likely to abstain

from alcohol

didn't get better in Rational Recovery,

and

I

by suddenly applying dormant REBT ideas. decided to quit altogether, and when I did, I was left with

didn't get better I

the task of resisting drinking while

who succeed whatever

my own

inclination to continue

pieced together

I

in recovery do the

else,

my

life.

same

I

believe that all

thing, regardless of

may do

if

anything,

it,

the critical difference in abstinence

they

to

help

themselves.

As

now

I

see

outcome is one's commitment to abstinence. Period. AVRT is your guarantee of lifelong abstinence; what remains is life itself,

In

for better or worse.

AVRT, you may continue

to

have disturbed feelings and depression, but

such as anger, anxiety, guilt, nevertheless recognize your Beast and stubbornly refuse to drink. Of course, you will probably have less to feel anxious, guilty, and depressed about, but that is beside the point. EventuaUy, the Beast will get the message that no matter how upset, depressed, disturbed, or angry you are, it can't get you to decide to drink alcohol. Moreover, alcohol causes more than pleasant feelings; directly and indirectly, alcohol also results in negative moods and feelings. Consequently, when you aren't drinking you are probably

much

less physically disposed to be irritable,

anxious, and depressed. This people,

may be

is

why AVRT,

for

a stand-alone solution to addiction.

107

many

But you can make

much

it

by also taking

easier

control of your emotions, purely as a matter of selfinterest.

For example, USA-today

element for sobriety.

It

fits

with

AVRT

as a key

increases your motivation to

abstain out of self-interest rather than delayed self-esteem.

USA-today

may use

an

is

excellent self-help approach that

you

problems and grow as a person. may be just as prone to get sloshed, and people who think they are louses will have less to feel lousy about if they stay sober. Below is a list of common irrational ideas that cause your emotional upsets and fuel your addiction to alcohol and/or other drugs. Look them over and notice the contrasting feelings you get from shifting back and forth between the irrational and rational ideas.

But

to solve specific

self- accepting

people

But notice the Beast response to each rational idea. Adopting a rational philosophy is an excellent idea, as long as you recognize how your Addictive Voice will The Beast will argue both sides of any argument, as you can see below. REBT is a fine self- improvement approach for securely abstinent invariably exploit rational ideas.

people, but not so good as a

(lb

= Irrational

belief,

Br: Beast response to 1.

lb:

I

am

D

= Disputation, Rb: Rational

Any

powerless over

that

I

proof that

I

my

what

alcoholic cravings, I

cannot control

put in

and

my mouth.

my muscles? Any proof

can?

Rb: The structural model shows that control over Br:

belief,

new Rb.)

therefore not responsible for

D:

way of getting there.

my hands,

feet,

and

facial

I

have voluntary

muscles.

Because you have control over your muscles, you can

decide to drink moderately. Just be careful.

108

In order to feel like a worthwhile person,

2. lb:

I

must

stop

drinking.

D: Are sober people superior beings to addicted people?

Must I damn myself for being addicted? Rb: I can accept myself as an addicted person, and stop drinking and build a better life because worthwhile to myself. Br: Because I value my self as a

means

to enjoy

I

will

I

am

life,

it

back on my drinking. 3. lb: My painful emotions and alcoholic cravings are intolerable, and must be controlled by drinking alcohol.

makes more sense

to cut

D: Is pain intolerable, or jusi painful?

Rb: Pain in itself

harmless.

is

Some

discomfort

is

a

necessary and harmless part of defeating an addiction.

But discomfort

Br:

comfort over pain. 4.

My

lb:

feelings

certain people or

D:

I

How can an

by

absolutely necessary, and

isn't

will

drink a

little

prefer

I

to take the edge

off.

and emotions are forced upon me by events.

event or circumstance cause feelings?

Rb: They can't.

I

feel

way

the

I

can control

my

can also control

my

think, so

I

feelings.

Br:

I

also feel the

feelings in that far 5.

lb:

I

must be

way

I

more

drink,

and

I

predictable way.

respected, loved, or approved

of.

Any evidence that I need love, respect, and approval? Can I live without it? What's so bad about disapproval?

D:

do not need love and respect, although I definitely prefer it. Rejection is another person's opinion of me, and I may agree or disagree. I accept myself simply because it feels better than to dislike myself. In this matter, I have Rb:

I

the final word. Br: Yes,

and

approval, or

I

don't need

any one

my

else's.

109

I

family's approval,

my

boss's

merely prefer that they accept

me

as a person

who

drinks.

If

they reject me, that

is

unfortunate.

Because I have made some big mistakes, blame myself and feel worthless and guilty. 6. lb:

D:

How

me

does making a mistake transform

person? Am

I

should

into a rotten

striving for perfection?

I

am a fallible, yet worthwhile human being. may feel sadness for my past behavior, but need not conclude that am a worthless person. Br: do not want to offend others, but am a fallible, yet Rb:

I

I

regrets, remorse, or

I

I

I

I

worthwhile,

myself

if

I

human

being. In the future,

I

will

not despise

commit deplorable acts while under the

influence of alcohol. 7. lb:

Many

people should be different than they are, and

should be blamed and punished for their mistakes.

who treat me poorly rotten people? Or, are they also fallible humans? Rb: It makes no sense to blame others for their mistakes, D: Are others

because they,

too, are

human. Blaming others

is

a failure

much, but

in doing

to accept reality.

Br: Others berate

me

for drinking so

that they are only proving that they are fallible beings, needlessly disturbing themselves. it

make

to also berate them, stirring

up

human

What sense does

conflict

and a big

hassle? 8.

lb:

In order to feel good about myself,

successful,

and

if I fail

in

I

some important way,

must be it

proves

that I'm a rotten, worthless person.

D: Are successful people really better people than others

who

fail?

Rb: Succeeding does not failing doesn't

make me

make me

make me

into a success,

and

into a failure. (Breathing doesn't

into a breather, either.)

110

Br:

I

have

but

I

can be true

9.

home,

at work,

it's

and

in the

community,

to myself.

"things" aren't the

lb: If

be, then

failed at

way I want them

very

much

to

terrible, horrible, awful.

D: What's so terrible about misfortune? tolerate unfairness

Why

can't

I

and loss?

Rb: "Terrible" and "awful" are magical words that only define each other. Nothing can be more than 100 percent bad or completely unfortunate, so I can learn to remain relatively calm in any situation. If I cannot change or control conditions, I can choose to accept any misfortune... Br: ...including ja.l, living in a cardboard box, divorce,

bankruptcy, losing

my

driver's license, getting beaten,

fired, arrested, or any consequence of my drinking. The 10. lb: past is an important cause of my problems. D: Does the past exist as anything but memory? And what do I tell myself about those memories?

robbed,

Rb:

now

I

my mind

the

feel

with

now

I

think, so

I

may now change

about past sorrows, losses, and disappointments.

Br: Life isn't as

not the

way

bad as

I

worm thought I

life's difficulties,

so

I

was making was.

I

don't

my future

it

out to be, and I'm

need alcohol

indulgences

to

will

cope

not be

so compulsive and unpredictable. 11.

I

absolutely

must not

drink,

no matter what, because

one drink would lead to my downfall. D: Why "must" anything be? Would having a drink be the end of the world? Of me? Rb: As time goes by, drinking or using appears more and more stupid. But, if I do stupidly relapse, it won't be awful, because I can quickly and guiltlessly recover again. Br: So the idea of a Big Plan for permanent abstinence is pretty irrational. Ha! I see "rr" embedded in the word 111

irrational. There's

no evidence that one drink would lead

but a pleasant buzz. This abstinence thing the right thing, but not for now. 12. lb: I am an alcoholic, so I need something or someone stronger or greater than myself to depend upon.

to anything

may turn out to be

D:

What

is

an

"alcoholic?" Is there a disease of alcoholism?

does labeling myself help me? Does my addiction mean that I cannot manage my own recovery? Rb: There are no alcoholics, but only addicted people.

How

Dependency

my original problem, and it is better to take

is

the risks of thinking independently.

By making a Big

Br:

Choice

is

Plan,

I

am

depriving myself of choice.

freedom, and freedom

is

independence.

13.

and/or die. lb: Because addiction has caused

will

continue to affect

free

D:

What proof is

me

frequently

Ill live

me great problems,

and

it

forever.

there of this?

is self-fulfilling, and there is much more than struggling to remain sober. Therefore, I will gradually close the book on my addiction and become involved in activities and goals outside of myself. Br: But I will always be here, and alcohol will always be

Rb: None. Sobriety to

life

Who knows how long it will be this time?

there.

14. lb: In order to

be a decent, caring person,

I

must help

others.

D: "Must?"

How

does helping

make me

a better person?

own reward?

Isn't virtue its

Rb: Helping others are not helped

is

not a moral springboard, and others

by the upset emotions of their

Br: This is a nice platitude that

may come

helpers.

in

handy some

time. 15. lb:

until

I

There find

is

it, I

a perfect solution for

am doomed 112

to

life's

unhappiness.

problems, and

D:

Why must

I

solve all of

my

problems now?

Why must

I

any of them right now? Can't I feel well in the meantime? Rb: Uncertainty can be the spice of life, and seeking a perfect solution is silly and a waste of time. I will do better solve

to view

as a personal experiment, seeking

life

my own

pleasures and caring for myself.

an experiment, and I will see what it's like to abstain. The Big Plan is just another "perfect solution." If it sounds too good to be true, it probably isn't true. The Big Plan is crazy because there is no guarantee Br: Exactly! Sobriety is

that

life

life,

and

will I'll

be worth

run

it

the

living

way

I

if

I

see

swear

off for good. It's

my

fit.

Rational-emotive behavior therapy provides you with a healthy attitude that makes sobriety attractive. By learning to feel good by what you think instead of what you drink, you deprive your Beast of one strategy for

convincing you to drink. But

it

is

creative

and

its

strategies are limitless. Therefore, don't expect that just

because you are happy, self- accepting, and able to tolerate frustrations, the Beast will go away. It won't. In fact, one of the most vulnerable times you may face is when you finally feel better and your life is going well.

REBT

is

usually presented by never-addicted persons.

In recent years,

some

of the

RR

groups became

"free

treatment" programs under the guidance of never- addicted

who saw "difficult cases" privately. This ended when the former non-profit RRSN became a

psychologists practice

division of

RRS,

Inc.

While practically

all

addicted and

formerly addicted people instantly recognize the concepts of

AVRT, never- addicted people usually have serious

difficulty

grasping

it.

I

think that the majority of never-

113

any more than a man can understand the experience of giving birth. (Many male midwives out there?) The world of addiction, whether in AA, RR, or in the mainstream of mass addiction, is ultimately a private one understood only by the addicted and formerly addicted themselves. It is not surprising that they have an odd proclivity to hang out together, to form relationships based on their common horrors, and then to build a new world that conforms to their common perceptions. The recovery movement which has enveloped our nation is such a world-building movement. Here is a rhyme to help clarify the nature of the Beast: addicted people cannot grasp

The Beast

is

it,

indisputable

Because it is immutable. uses reason in its quest, So simple recognition's best. knows not time, but looks ahead For any time it may be fed. A day, a year, a century, It

It

Is

fine in

its eternity.

You know your Beast is treatment -wise; You'd now be better, otherwise. Treatment" means, "When you feel well. Then tell your Beast to go to hell." The Beast knows well you'll not feel well Enough for long enough to tell Just when its finally time to yell, "Its time for you to go to hell." And when you do feel well enough, The reason's lost; you'll want your stuff. But "Never!" sets the Beast aflame. That word alone can win the game. Say "Never!" now, and feel the view Of freedom joy, with hope anew. Say "Never!" now, and step ahead To sober living. Treatment's dead.

—

114

REBT is a process of disputing irrational ideas so that you may give them up for rational ideas that will make you

better

feel

and do

better.

is

It

based on the

understanding that emotions result from thinking rather than as a result of events or circumstances. Research suggests that REBT is probably the most effective approach to personal change. But the Addictive Voice is an exceptional irrationality. Beasts don't respond to reason. For seriously addicted persons, the Addictive Voice doesn't

respond to reason and logic the way the common irrational ideas above do. The following is a typical example of an attempt to dispute the Addictive Voice: Activating event:

It is five

o'clock, the time

usually start

I

drinking. Beliefs:

want

I

to

have a drink.

think

I

have

will

I

something. Consequence: Arousal, desire to drink

Dispute B: Drinking

is

bad

for

me.

I

usually have bad

consequences.

new belief: Although I would

Effective I

will refuse

like to

have a drink,

because of the probable bad outcome. uneasy

Feeling: Frustration, restless,

Activating event:

I

feel frustrated, restless,

uneasy about

not drinking Belief:

I

can't stand not drinking

when I want

to.

I

need a

feel OK. I can't stand Consequence: Increased restlessness, anxiety

drink to

these feelings.

Dispute

beliefs:

drinking?

Do

I

really

awful or horrible? Effective

new

Why

stand or tolerate not need a drink? Are these feelings really can't

Why can't I stand these feelings?

philosophy:

simply prefer to drink. Therefore,

I

I

I

don't really need a drink, but If

I

don't drink,

I

won't

obviously can tolerate not drinking.

115

I

die.

can

tolerate these

have a F:

little

feel less

I

New

uneasy

would simply prefer off.

a bad person?

cause

Effective

It

to

all.

always leads to more

Is

I

drink? Does drinking

me harm?

new

although scientific

make me

there any evidence that future drinking

philosophy:

I

accept myself as a worthwhile,

intoxicated person. There is no reason

I

shouldn't drink,

might be better if I didn't. But there is no evidence that having a drink now to relieve my it

hangover will

definitely lead to problems.

Feeling: Less guilt, enjoy relief bit

That's

Damn me.

Consequence: Guilt Dispute B: Why shouldn't will

I

Bad consequence from drinking

shouldn't have drunk.

I

trouble.

but

anxious and enjoy my drink.

activating event:

Belief:

feelings,

drinky-poo to take the edge

from a hair of the dog that

the night before.

The above example nevertheless

What

common

is

a flawed application of REBT, but

with chemically dependent people.

would one expect from a subversive Beast mentality that will use any warped logic, any corruption of REBT, any perversion of spirituality or common sense in else

order to perpetuate

itself?

Another overriding Voice

is

difficulty in disputing the Addictive

that substance-specific ideas are inherently

pleasurable. There

is

a natural motivation for anyone to

dispute Ib's that cause negative emotions, to avoid pain or

unpleasantness, but addicted people, indeed, most people, are usually highly resistant to disputing irrational beliefs that result in pleasure. Because the Addictive Voice

is

an

expression of an immutable desire for toxic pleasure (the Beast),

it

is

able to "lay low" during flurries of rational

disputation.

116

If

a pit bull, fangs bared, were leaping toward you,

would you attempt to reason with it? Would you analyze its motives and dispute its intentions? Much better, that you would recognize the danger and act intelligently. AVRT cuts to the chase and puts you in a position to kill the Beast.

does not suggest that REBT, alone, is limited in addictions, but applies to all forms of therapy in the fields of mental health and chemical dependency This critique

counseling.

117

118

AVRT is

Don't read this chapter.

stupid.

— your Beast Chapter 7

The Beast

is

Back

Your Beast has big plans for you. From its viewpoint, you will definitely drink again. While you are rapidly blowing its cover by reading about AVRT, it is busy at work making sure that you will drink again. For example, the word, "abstinence, w has appeared many times so far, but you still may not be comfortable with it. Even though you are hopeful and your mind is still open, something about that word is troubling, and you feel uneasy about it.

Remember

that the Beast exists only to protect the

has a ruthless intent to survive by finding the intoxicant, possessing it, and consuming it. It will attempt to preserve the future supply by hiding it, by stashing it, by setting aside money for it, and by structuring your life plans so that drinking opportunities are constantly available. Most of all, your Beast will use any logic to convince you that you will drink at some time in the future, no matter what you think right now. It wants you to feel powerless. It wants you to believe that you cannot change, that you are "marked" to drink forever, regardless of any plans you have to abstain. It wants you to think AVRT is a lot of crap that can't really work, and that there are times when you have no defense supply of alcohol.

It

119

You do have those thoughts and feelings, don't you? That is what your Beast sounds and feels like. You have met the enemy, and it is within you. against a desire to drink.

But something may click with you here. Do you realize that your Beast is struggling with you? Do you understand that it feels anxious when you think of abstaining? Maybe it's more vulnerable than you think. If so,

wouldn't that turn the tables?

it is

afraid of what you

may be

may do?

Isn't

it

interesting that

All that anxiety

about

you something very important. Maybe it knows something you don't One might say that your midbrain (it) resents your neocortex (you). Beasts have feelings, especially concerning matters of survival. Just as any beast does, your midbrain intends for you to survive, but it mistakenly believes that you absolutely must have alcohol or certain drugs in order to stay alive. Therefore, when you seriously consider never drinking or using again, you will also feel your Beast, probably as a jolt of anxiety or apprehension, but you may also notice a low, sinking feeling. That anxiety is a fear of serious deprivation, as though not intoxicating yourself would deprive you of a necessity for life, such as oxygen or food. And the Beast within obviously "knows" that you are the neocortex capable of choosing lifetime abstinence and sticking with it. Otherwise, it would not feel threatened as it does. With its ability to use your imagination, your Beast will predict that you cannot live happily or meaningfully without alcohol or drugs, and it will probably use your language centers to tell you that life without alcohol or drugs is inconceivable and possibly not worth living. This thinking may result in feelings of depression. And all you did was think about never drinking or using again. For abstinence

telling

—

120

—

threatens your

life,

promising you endless despair.

Some Beast, eh? Suppose you were a

quadriplegic, confined to a

that,

it

wheelchair,

totally

paralyzed,

and your caretaker and assisting you. How

suddenly decided to stop feeding would you feel? Pretty scary, unless you wanted to die anyhow. But listen to this. Your Beast, the inner enemy that has nearly ruined your life, is totally dependent on

Your hands and feet are "wired" directly to you. Put your hand in front of your face. Now, challenge your Beast to move your index finger. See? You are in control! And your Beast knows it. No wonder it squirms when you threaten to cut it off from its survival stuff. All it has to work with are your thoughts and feelings. When you threaten to deprive it of alcohol, it will first attack by telling you how awful it is to be deprived of alcohol. It will then remind you of how wonderful alcohol is, and how nothing can replace it. It will drag up picturememories of fine times of feeling high. Then it will plead with you, telling you that everything will be all right if only you are careful. Then, if you insist on not drinking, it

you

to feed

it.

will patiently itself.

It is

quadriplegic.

wait until a better opportunity presents

Beasts survive by laying low.

It is extremely important for you to know that you have a great advantage over your Beast. It is a worthy opponent, a strong fighter, and it will not easily give up. But your task is relatively easy, compared to that of the Beast. You have something it doesn't have. You have the the intelligence to recognize the Beast in all of its forms thoughts, images, moods, emotions and feelings it uses to get you to drink. That's all. Just recognize those things,

—

121

and the Beast that

it is, it

will fall silent.

What

choice does

it

have?

All

borrows from you.

Tracking the Beast

For a while, keep a journal or diary describing Beast activity. Give it a try. Just sit down at the same time each day for a few weeks and jot down some notes. There are four ways to describe Beast activity: (1) frequency, that is, continuous, frequent, occasional, seldom, about once an hour, only at five o'clock, every other day, etc., (2)

booming, whispering, vivid, vague, (3) demanding, cynical, cocky, friendly, scolding,

intensity, that

tone, that

is,

is,

arrogant, pitying,

and

(4)

circumstances, that

is,

only at

meals, only around people of the opposite sex, out of the

when

blue,

I'm tired,

when

I'm upset,

when

I'm bored,

afraid, depressed, alone, and so on. By looking back over your notes, you can watch the changing strategies of your

Beast.

Beast strategies

Your Beast has become comfortable over the years and accustomed to getting its way. It knows you like a book and takes advantage of your personal flaws. If you think you are a jerk, it will agree with you and offer you a drink. If you think your spouse is a jerk, it will agree with you and offer you a drink. If you believe that it is terrible and awful that you didn't get a raise, it will agree with you and offer you a drink. If you think that life sucks, it will agree with you and then offer you a drink. If you get in a traffic jam and you tell yourself you can't stand it, it will agree with you that it is intolerable and suggest that you get off the freeway and have a drink. If you are sober, it will suggest that you celebrate your sobriety with a drink. it

is

And

so on.

122

Common Beast Strategies good for me. It is good for my heart, lowers cholesterol, helps blood pressure, adds important nutrients to the diet. Comfort is health. 2. Drinking is one of the few pleasures in life. 3. Life is hollow and meaningless without alcohol or 1.

Drinking

is

drugs.

A

few drinks makes a good time better. What's in a sunset without a drink in hand?

4.

5.

6.

1 I

am a nicer person when drink or use drugs. am a better lover when drink. am sexier, more I

I

I

potent or attractive under the influence of alcohol or drugs. 7.

I

am more

creative

under the influence

of alcohol or

drugs.

am very

8.

I

of

humor

is

funny to others when I am loaded. My sense enhanced under the influence of alcohol or

drugs.

Drinking gives me relief from feelings can't stand. If am angry, ashamed, fearful, or depressed, alcohol or drugs give me strength. am 10. am more productive in my work when 9.

I

I

I

I

intoxicated with alcohol or drugs. 11.

I

am hooked

especially

on the wonderful taste of alcohol, the fragrant aroma or special bouquet of certain

brands. Good food doesn't taste right without alcoholic beverages. 12.

Because

I

am an

alcoholic,

my

with a steady amount of alcohol. without alcohol in me.

123

I

body functions best will

never

feel right

To see the stupidity of the Beast, simply change each of the above statements into a question by adding a question mark. For example, in

number

one, "Is drinking

good for me?" Number two, "Is alcohol really one of the few pleasures in life?" Number three, "Is life really meaningless?" (If you say "yes" here, read on.) Number four, "Is drinking really fun?" (Or better yet,

"Have

I

been

Go ahead and you, just to learn how

drinking while attempting to have fun?") dispute whatever your Beast irrational

and

tells

ideas are. But remember, just

silly its

because you know the Beast is stupid, doesn't mean it go away. Your ability to recognize the Addictive Voice

will

will

not cause the desire to drink to magically disappear, and

not prevent you from drinking in the future. Something besides reason is required to defeat it. You will

will

learn

what that something

is

advanced

in the

AVRT

to

come.

Grammar of the Beast The Beast's

favorite

pronoun

firm grasp on that word,

it

is "I."

will control

As long as it has a you. But you can

games in the interest of survival, too. Here is one of the most potent elements of AVRT, a technique that

play word

you can use any time you are having Beast

activity:

Transposing

AVRT is a the Beast.

process of recapturing the pronoun,

Once you own

"I,"

"I,"

from

you are well on the road

to

complete recovery from your addiction. Start listening for all pronouns when you are thinking of drinking. The only pronoun that is appropriate when making decisions about drinking is "1." The other pronouns are, "it," "you," "we," and "us" (as in let's or let us). If you hear, "We need a drink," you have heard your Beast. If you hear, "You are doing very well by not drinking /using," that is your Beast

124

setting

you up

for a binge. "It's just a

matter of time until

you drink," obviously, is from the Beast. Stay in the first person, "I." Any time that the pronoun "T appears in your consciousness in connection with drinking, just add a "t," transforming "I" to "it." "It" of course, refers to the Beast. For example, "I want a drink," becomes "It wants a drink." If you hear, "I will never be able to stay sober," just add the t," and see the obvious truth. To master your Addictive Voice, recognize first that you are thinking of drinking alcohol, and then change all pronouns to "it." If you think, "I really like to chase whiskey with beer while reading a newspaper," transpose that sentence to

to, "It

— my Beast — really likes

chase whiskey with beer while

read the paper." By

I

doing this psychological sleight-of-hand, you outfox your Beast, but you will very likely

will

not only

feel relief

from

the desire to drink. Try this. See for yourself.

But when you struggle for control of "I," as in "I will not drink," you will notice something truly remarkable. The subcortical Beast will start addressing you as, "you." "You can handle just a little this time." This is highly significant, for you have forced your enemy into a defensive position, into the second person. Now its

masquerade is over, and recognize. It must now come or

madam, with a

will also

way

it

much

easier to

and appeal

to you, sir

be

will

to you,

reason, a justification, for drinking.

use the plural pronouns,

of speaking for both parties.

Addictive Voice, you

may

If

"let's"

you

and

It

"we," as a

will listen to

your

using the plural pronoun, "we," used in a highly inappropriate way, even

when you

are alone.

something

notice

"We need a

little

it

drinky-poo. Let's get

at the store," is a perfect

125

example of the

innocent, seductive quality that characterizes

some Beast

talk.

Beast attacks

and months to come, there will almost be times when you have thoughts and feelings that seem to draw you to alcohol. We call these moments "Beast attacks." Your task is to build a perfect defense against whatever your wounded Beast throws at you. Relax. Human beings aren't perfect by a long shot, but we can do many tasks perfectly. Perfect games in sports are possible, and you can solve equations and crossword puzzles perfectly. Remaining perfectly sober is no big deal. Here are some examples of Beast attacks. 1. Restlessness. Now that you don't drink, what do you do? For years you have always had something to do, any time you had nothing to do. But now it's gone. If you live alone you may have serious problems with Beast attacks, because your Beast is also at home, alone with you. Whether you are alone or not, your Beast can make itself felt, and cause a feeling of ugly restlessness. You may call this "boredom, " but actual boredom is rare in life. "Boredom" is a word given to negative feelings one may have in a variety of situations, such as being alone, not having entertainment, doing an unwanted task, listening to something you don't understand, visiting with uninteresting people, or doing something you don't do well. The actual feelings would better be called anxiety, annoyance, low self-esteem, or anger. These are caused by irrational beliefs, rather than sensory deprivation. For your purposes in AVRT, it is better to recognize the restless feeling as Beast activity. Whatever you are telling yourself to cause your "boredom," the Beast may be affirming, and In the weeks

certainly

gleeful at the opportunity to drink.

126

Many

people find that

by simply re-affirming the Big Plan, the Beast falls silent, and the unpleasant feeling lifts. Then they get on with doing something of interest. 2. The sudden flood. These experiences can occur under certain circumstances, such as at a party, while driving or taking a walk, or "out of the blue." You may suddenly become flooded with thoughts and feelings about drinking. At these times, the use of addictive grammar and transposing, as described above, are quite effective. excellent technique

face

is

and move your

to put

An

your hands in front of your once again that you,

fingers, proving

and not your Beast, are in control. Better yet, challenge your Beast to move your index finger, against your wishes, as suggested previously. 3. Vertigo.

This

is

a strong, high-risk Beast attack that

goes beyond flooding.

Some

people report an experience of

"snapping," in which they sense that the decision to drink

has already been made, and drink.

They

feel

it

is

inevitable that they will

physically mobilized to drink,

and may

even start preparing to drink by deciding where the drinking will take place, looking for the car keys, counting

money, and setting up a time of absence from the home or work. Along with these behaviors, there is a feeling of excitement and

relief.

All the while, there is a clear

awareness that something is seriously wrong, sometimes with a sense of eerie fascination. "Here I/we go again," they report hearing

later. "I can't believe

I'm actually doing

but I'm going to do it anyhow. To hell with it, just this once. I've gone too far with this, and it's too late to stop now. I'm in relapse." Being forewarned is being forearmed. Because you are now aware of the vertigo state, you will be able to recognize that you are "under the influence," that your this,

127

"

subcortical Beast has gained a foothold. Instead of being

you are now prepared to think aggressively about your predicament. First, remember that there is no time, prior to swallowing, that is "too late" to pull out of a plan to drink. Even then, you can gag yourself to get it out of your body. And even then, you don't have to have the second swallow, or the third, and so on. You can decide now that if such a condition overtakes you, you will "sound the alarm.** Imagine the sound of a shrieking emergency alarm. That is what you can play in your head if you find yourself preparing to passively fascinated or appalled,

drink.

It is

a technique that psychologists

stoppage," or "thought interruption."

call,

By doing

"thought this,

you

can clear your head of Beast activity so that you can start practicing the AVRT you have learned, especially the Big Plan which emphasizes "never. Slippery places vs. perfect drinking opportunities

There is a traditional attitude that abstinent people remain at high risk in the presence of alcohol. This is a defensive outlook, quite attractive to your Beast,

sets

up high-risk situations

in

and

it

which you may

unexpectedly or unavoidably find yourself in a situation that is a perfect drinking opportunity. Your Beast will rise to the occasion and give you a perfect justification for going ahead and having a drink, "just this once."

For example, one newly-sober man, let's call him Peter, who normally works one day per week in another city,

was

by his boss that because the annual report was due he must work three days instead of one in the other city. Instead of commuting as usual, he reserved a motel room for two nights, starting Monday morning. When he checked in around noon, he found that the room was stocked with beer and liquor, in a cabinet by the TV. He felt told

128

a

little

When

uneasy, but decided he simply wouldn't drink. he returned to his room that evening, the boss

phoned and said. The office will be closed for auditing all day Tuesday, but please keep your room and stay in town because we will start Wednesday very early to make up for lost time. Have a good time tomorrow at the company's expense." Peter hung up and his Beast lunged. It said, "You have all day tomorrow to sober up! You've got what you need in the cabinet! This will be absolutely fine. Who would know?" Peter's heart sped up, and he felt a little shaky.

Take

the edge

off,"

the Beast urged. "Have just

and then you may want to stop. Just one. You need it." Peter felt as if he would likely drink, and he was physically aroused. He opened the cabinet and looked at one,

the bottles again.

had learned some AVRT and was prepared to defend himself. "Who will know? I will know! And I never drink. Nice try. Beast. Too bad." He felt a twinge of disappointment and then felt quiet inside himself. He closed the cabinet and went out for dinner, and the following day he was in an exceptionally good mood. He knew he had defeated his Beast and was firmly in control. You can relax about slippery places, because there aren't any places where you will magically lose control. You are always on duty within your own thoughts, and you will always recognize that alcohol is a very significant substance in your life. And you will always know that you Peter

never drink

— under any circumstances.

As you grow with AVKT, you

will discover that there

no "warning signs of relapse," but only harmless Beast activity. The very concept of "warning signs" is delightful to the Beast, for reasons that are by now, I are also

129

hope, obvious. (Hint:

If

you

aren't going to drink

how can there be "warning

more,

any

signs" of relapse?)

Take a picture of your Beast In any situation at

all,

whether in a slippery place,

alone, in a "vertigo" feeling, or during a "white -knuckle"

you can instantly disarm your Beast by taking a it. This is just another way of explaining what "recognition" means, one that some have found effective. Supposing you are alone and you start thinking of drinking. "Who will know if I drink," you hear. "I will know," you respond. Then the debate ensues. "Yes, yes. The AVRT thing. But you know that you are really one person, and what's the difference, really, if I have a few drinks and then let it be?" So you are engaged in dialog, episode,

picture of

"But

I

never drink, ever."

And

it

responds, "So? Forever

starts in one hour. You can drink until then, and then do your Big Plan thing again." And so on.

You may

feel quite

uncomfortable as you switch back

and forth. This time you're having more trouble separating your self from the Beast. The addictive grammar isn't cutting it, and the Beast is capturing the pronoun "I." Your heart beats rapidly. Take a picture! Hop up in your thinking and observe yourself in your predicament, as if you were a little bird above. See yourself struggling over whether to drink. Capture a picture of yourself as an image in your mind, and look at yourself. Now, do the same thing with your feelings. Look at the picture you took, and imagine the feelings of the Beast as part of the picture. See it struggling with you, trying to gain control. Now, throw the picture

away, and get on with something else. persists, take another picture, and throw Beast can't stand having its picture taken. 130

If

the Beast

it

away. The

Mingling of Beasts If

you watch the

social behavior of dogs,

you can

get

some insight into why people often relapse in the company of other serious drinkers. On the street, dogs aggressively seek each other out, engage in sniffing rituals,

do dog things. You might say they are "all beast." Your Beast is acutely aware of others who like to drink, because those persons also have Beasts. Many of your old friends have Beasts, just as you do. You and they have the common ground of drunkenness as a bond between your Beasts. When you are around other drinkers, your Beast may "connect" with another drinker's

and then run

off together to

and you will feel it tug on the leash. When this happens, you can recognize that your Beast is mingling with another of its kind. You may then pull hard on the leash, so to speak, by reminding yourself, "Never," and perhaps finding others with whom Beast, like two dogs on the street,

to socialize.

Narcs

any person who can interfere with one's supply of alcohol. This interference may be direct, such as when an angry spouse dumps bottles of good booze down the sink. It may be less direct, such as when a boss fires or threatens to fire an employee who appears at work intoxicated. Or, it may be quite indirect, such as someone who calls the police on a drunk driver. Narcs and Beasts are natural enemies, like cats and dogs. Beasts have no friends. They are lone wolves, in that In

AVRT, as on the

streets, a "narc" is

they exist in and for themselves, contented in isolation with only the substance of choice. When they connect or

mingle with another Beast, the relationship entirely

on the common

is

activity of drinking alcohol.

131

based

When

Beasts mingle, there is a sense of mutual loyalty to the cause of drinking, as well as a shared suspicion of others who may interfere with or disapprove of alcoholic excess. "Never trust a

man who

doesn't drink," is a folk cliche that

reflects Beastly suspicion of narcs. Non-drinkers

who

are

passive and tolerant toward alcoholic excess pose no threat toward Beasts,

and so are accepted as "OK," or even

helpful to the extent that they

may

support the cause of

But many relationships, intimate as well as casual ones, dissolve when one party abandons alcohol. drinking.

Beasts perceive non-drinkers as narcs, until proven otherwise.

Beasts seriously want others to drink, and to drink too

much for their own good. "Have another; 111 buy," is a common remark heard at their watering holes. When the "No thanks. I've had enough," one's Beast will register disappointment. Animated "friendship" quickly fades into detachment and indifference. reply

is,

Suppose a person you like, a previous drinking companion, drops by your house. You recount old times, and notice that you are laughing at a story about a previous drunken evening when two other drunk people wrestled on the floor. Is that really you laughing about human beings in that condition? Or, can you imagine a pack of dogs barking excitedly as one of them attacks another. Your Beast can make a knee-slapper of alcoholrelated tragedy because it places no value on pain and suffering. When you recognize this Beast activity in yourself, the story will no longer seem funny, and you will become acutely aware of your companion's Beast activity. If you stop laughing and display appropriate feelings of disgust, your companion may take notice and feel quite uncomfortable. Beasts require secrecy, and cannot tolerate 132

exposure. silent,

When you

but your companion's Beast

control.

It

will tell

own

recognized your

him or her

will

Beast,

it

fell

probably remain in

to leave,

and

will

probably

avoid you in the future. The old saying, "Never trust

someone who doesn't drink," is part of the culture of Beasts. You may see more clearly why, with AVRT, it is unnecessary for you to end relationships with previous drinking companions. They will usually take care of it for you! If

you cross a Beast, however,

it

may

take care of you.

The mean streets in large cities are inhabited by addicted people whose human brains are out of order from daily intoxication, and whose Beast brains demand more drugs. Or else. No wonder those streets are often called "the jungle." Urban cemeteries are full of people who interfered with a Beast's supply of drugs.

Instead of friends and lovers. Beasts have partners,

and many run

in packs. Just as loyalty to the cause of

drinking or drugging is

is

essential for "friendship," betrayal

the ultimate offense. Rage and violence are quite

predictable

when

the supply

goes sour. Closing time

erupt in bars, as are

is

threatened, as

when

a deal

common time for violence occasions when a customer

is

a

to is

declared too intoxicated for bar service.

Secrecy pacts are common in Beast relationships. Sometimes a Beast makes an error by assuming that another person's Beast is cooperating with a secret plan for intoxication, when actually he or she is using good

When

the other person acts responsibly, say by calling the drunk person's spouse, or by reporting illegal or dangerous plans to an authority neocortical judgment.

figure,

an outburst

of Beastly rage over the "betrayal"

be expected.

133

may

Beasts in love Beasts, male or female, care nothing for romance or marriage.

If

anything, these

human arrangements are

more than nuisances or hindrances. When couple

is

little

either of a

addicted, there is automatically a love-triangle.

Remember, there are two

your lover or spouse about this yet.) If you are both addicted or have been addicted, you will both occasionally run into the other's Beast. Learning to recognize both your Beast and your spouse's Beasts will avert lapses. But it can become annoying for both spouses to scrutinize each other for Beast activity. For example, a newly-sober couple attended a party where alcohol was served.

both He:

Each

felt

of you. (Don't tell

them was conscious

of

didn't feel at ease at the party.

I

I

and they

uncomfortable. Afterward they talked:

watching me. She: Ha! I felt the same way. But you.

of the other

I

felt

I

really wasn't

knew you wouldn't have anything

am certain that you were watching to see if

you were watching

to drink; but I

would

I

drink.

was watching you, but not to see if you would drink. And you were watching me. And we were both uncomfortable. We were both feeling the same thing and it seemed the same to both of us, even though we He: Not really.

I

both trusted each other not to drink. She: In AVERT, there are two of each of us, you know. Maybe when I was looking your way, my Beast was hoping you would have something.

Now

it, I did wonder if you would would have been OK if you did. I wouldn't have hit the ceiling if you drank and I didn't. I'm staying sober for myself, whether you drink or not. She: So why is it OK if I drink?

He:

drink,

that you mention

and

in a

way

it

134

He:

I

didn't say

it

was OK.

Well,

I

guess

I

did.

Maybe

it

was

my Beast telling me

it would be fine if you drank, because then you wouldn't have a leg to stand on if I had a drink at some other time. Yes. Now that I think of it, that is exactly what crossed my mind for a moment when you

were over at the punch bowl. She: Well,

now

that we're being candid, here's what

my mind. When was

punch bowl, and you were staring at me, it seemed as if you actually wanted me to drink. My heart started going fast, and I thought if you did want me to drink you were a real bastard. But I still felt excited, and wanted you to want me to drink. He: That sounds pretty confused until you apply AVRT. Now I can see it clearly in both of us. Both of us want to stay sober, to make our marriage and family work better. But each of us has another presence that wants to continue drinking, and also wants the other to be the one crossed

I

to drink first.

When we

at the

were watching each other, our

Beasts were looking out through our eyes, hoping to

make

contact with the other's Beast.

Who was watching whom? It seemed as if you were watching my Beast, but you were really just watching me. But your Beast was looking for my Beast. was watching you, like said in the first place, but my She: Exactly.

I

I

Beast was working overtime, trying to your Beast. He: So

it

me

wasn't really

was a

It

was my

And your Beast thought

narc.

was my

when

thought you were a bastard, that Beast resenting you, for watching over me as if I

She: Actually,

were a

contact with

feeling uncomfortable.

Beast, thinking you were a narc. I

make

I

child.

135

have learned a tremendous lesson here. I can really sense what was going on, using AVRT. I doubt that I will ever have those feelings again, now that I understand what was going on in my head at the party. She: Same here. My Beast will never be able to pull the He:

think that

I

same stunt next time

I

I

again.

1*11

feel you're

know

exactly

watching over

what

me

it's

up

to stop

to the

me

from

drinking.

He: Isn't give a

it

strange that

damn about

She: Yes, but

He:

I

I

we both have Beasts

that don't

either of us?

love you.

love you, too.

AVRT

is

a vital

means

to take care of yourself without

entering into conflict over use of alcohol in the home.

Mutually-addicted couples have a strong tendency to depend on each other as a way of staying sober. "Let's do it

together, honey," is a seductive idea that

seems

to offer

sharing of problems and a kind of intimacy that could benefit the relationship. The idea of supporting and

encouraging each other can be quite attractive to longterm lovers who have been through a lot, and people in

newer relationships are quite vulnerable to ideas of mutual support. But remember, dependency is your original problem. You both have Beasts that will mingle with each other and will try to subvert your best intentions. Your Beasts are in love, and they are attracted to

each other with the same biological attraction that

unites people in sex. The catch, however,

sex that bonds the relationship.

One

It is

is

that

it

isn't

booze.

outcome of mutual sobriety pacts between spouses or lovers is a mutual lapse during an intimate moment. "I feel so wonderful being with you. Our likely

136

I keep thinking that it would wonderful experience be a to watch the stars on a night like this while having (fill in the blank: a

relationship is just heavenly.

bottle of wine, a joint, a line of coke, a martini, a few drinks). Then we could go to bed and..." Isn't this cute? What could be more innocent and understandable that two lovers would want to add some zing to a special

moment, to celebrate life and love? Remember, getting drunk and having sex are two experiences that significantly overlap at the sensory

level.

Starting with a sense of deprivation, there follows a state

and anticipation, and then consummation with warm, the deep, sensual pleasure that engulfs one's entire body. Lovers may think they are enhancing sexual excitement by drinking alcohol, but in reality they are of arousal

usually substituting the guaranteed pleasure of alcohol for

the less certain pleasure of sex. Therefore, previously addicted couples are often seduced by their cupid-Beasts that promise sexual fulfillment, while setting the stage for

and potential separation or divorce. But a more common pattern of mingling of Beasts is the mutual assured destruction (MAD) experience. Here, the Beasts exploit conflict rather than love. One party drinks, and the other's Beast whines, This isn't fair. He/she is drinking, and I'm not. I can't stand watching him/her drinking when I can't have any. Besides, he/she broke the promise to quit, not I. So now it doesn't make any difference if I drink or not. The whole agreement is voided, now that he/she is drinking again." Another variation on MAD is when one spouse drinks as an expression of anger, but this is rare. One's Beast re-addiction

may

present drinking as a

way

of getting even,

i.e.,

"I'll

teach that so-and-so a lesson by getting drunk," but one

137

anger with, This is intolerable. I I need a drink right now, and I'm going to have it!"

will

more

likely exploit

shouldn't have to put up with this.

The Tightrope Dilemma Mutually addicted spouses will do much better if each makes a Big Plan for abstinence that has nothing to do with the other spouse.

A

good analogy

is to

compare

recovering from addiction to walking a tightrope together.

Imagine being in a

tall

building that is

on fire. You are and are forced

both higher in the building than the fire onto the roof. Now the roof starts burning, but there is a tightrope strung over the street far below that leads to safety

on the roof

of another building.

You both must

get

onto the tightrope at the same time, for the flames are

your heels. Your spouse steps onto the rope first, and you follow. The flames are nearing the rope itself, and soon the rope will burn. Scenario 1: Suddenly your spouse starts wobbling. He/she is starting to panic, arms waving to gain balance. Can you help? Scenario 2: Your spouse is in front of you. He/she freezes, cannot move. The flame is now on the rope. What do you do? Scenario 3: You got onto the rope first and are in front of your spouse. He/she freezes and cries for help. What do you say and do? The purpose of this imagery is to emphasize that you are responsible only to yourself, and that you are not licking at

responsible for another person's drinking or abstinence.

If

you and your spouse or lover are both planning to walk together on the tightrope of recovery, it is each person for himself or herself. Beyond the question of drinking, however, you will surely find many other ways to help, 138

support,

and encourage each other as you move onward

with your

lives.

Lapses

you do drink

your Big Plan, don't make a big deal of it. You are simply in violation of a covenant you made earlier when you were using your best intelligence and when you could clearly remember the pain and suffering caused by your drinking. That's all. You are not out of control, because no one but the neocortical you decided to drink and no one but you used your voluntary muscles to pick it up and swallow it. Having a lapse, which means that you have had one drinking episode, does not mean that you are a stupid person, or that you have crossed over the line into a mysterious forbidden zone in which you suddenly become powerless to stop or less responsible for your actions and decisions. It does mean that your Addictive Voice, i.e., the Beast, has gained control of one or more of your mental faculties, and a If

in violation of

lapse reconstruction, as in order as

shown

in the case of Bill, below, is

soon as possible.

But this casual attitude seems to set the stage for an end run by the Beast. "If having a lapse is no big deal," you may hear, "then why not indulge once in a while? Besides, having a lapse could be such a fine educational experience. You could learn so much about how your Beast behaves with just a wee bit under your belt. Then it would be over, and you would know what you need to know about managing lapses." Clever? Yes. Intelligent? No. A planned lapse is a planned drink, no matter how you cut it. There is no benefit from a purposeful lapse. It is only another reason to drink.

139

For example

let's

take

Bill,

who was unhappy about

his unemployment and marital problems, which he knew were caused by his alcohol dependence. He learned AVKT, made a Big Plan, and to play safe, he removed all alcohol from his home. But one evening, he felt restless and went out to a bar and had a few drinks. "Something just came over me," he lamented, "and I got up from the TV, and the next thing I knew I was at the bar with a shot and a beer in front of me. I drank while reading a newspaper, and then on the way home I felt like an idiot for doing something that endangered my home and my career. Even though I had a Big Plan, I heard this voice in my head that said, 'You don't really want to do that. It can't really be that way. Well see." When pressed to explain what "came over" him, Bill

"When the evening news was over

explained, o'clock,

I

thought, What's there to do?'

fatigued but not really sleepy. feeling depressed, empty,

of the bar

and

and the drinks

in

I

lay

I

at seven

started feeling

down on the couch, Then I got a picture

restless.

my

head, and heard myself

Suddenly I felt a surge of I was on my feet and going for my car keys. It was weird. I know this sounds stupid, but I felt good, all the way to the bar, even though I hadn't had anything to think, 'Screw

it.

Let's

go do

it.'

energy and

drink.

I

thought,

know

and

I

lion

might

"Who

gives a shit? There's nothing to do,

have a few drinks in a bar with the juke box playing while I read the paper or talk to someone." The surge of energy Bill noticed when he decided to go drink was a state of arousal, similar to the way a hungry I

really love to

feel

when

the zookeeper throws a leg of lamb

over the fence. Even though

thoughts before leaving

Bill

for the bar,

140

had many second his Beast urged him

tomorrow

on, "You won't do this

moving." Each time felt

worse, and

it

Bill tried to resist

night, so let's get

going to the bar he

seemed he couldn't think

going to the bar.

of anything but

I'm going to feel so rotten,

"If

not

it's

worth trying to resist," Bill finally thought, and he decided to drink, having failed to recognize his Addictive Voice. Bill's

subcortical Beast gained control of his language

and

his motor centers, located physically within the neocortex.

Analysis of Bill's lapse

When

Bill

decided to remove the supply of alcohol from

his home, his Beast grasped at his reasoning faculty

and

"reasoned" that he would soon stop drinking anyhow,

and that he deserved a

that he couldn't tolerate boredom,

late -evening drink. Notice that at the time of greatest conflict

about going out to the bar.

Bill,

who was

alone at

home, was thinking, "You won't do this tomorrow night. Lets get moving." Now, this is pretty strange. Who did Bill think this other party was? It couldn't have been Bill, calling him, "you." What's this "Let's" business? Let's get moving? We need a little drinky-poo?" Later, as he prepared to leave the house, the Beast gained control of the pronoun

when

said, "If I'm going

it

resisting."

Who was

whom was "it," Bill

it

to feel

so rotten,

it

isn't

feeling rotten, Bill or his Beast?

not worth resisting?

By transposing

"I,"

worth "I"

To to

could have avoided this lapse.

This

all

begins to

make sense when we

recall the

model of addiction, wherein the "brain" consists of two organs speaking to each other. That's right. The neocortex speaks for itself through its language centers. The midbrain, almost a separate entity, is able to make its demands known in conscious thought by seizing control structural

of those

same language

centers.

141

When

addicted people

attempt to limit or stop drinking, the Beast struggles for control of language and decision-making. "Whiteknuckling"

is

simply the result of internal and unresolved

two-way debate about the intoxicating substance. AVRT ends the debate.

The story of Bill, above, is a lapse reconstruction. If you should ever stupidly drink alcohol, write down all of the Beast activity that led up to the lapse as soon as

Ask yourself, "How did I decide to return to drinking, when I had earlier decided I would not?" Analyze your own thinking, and remember how the Beast got a foot-hold in your thinking, what strategies it used, how it possible.

and what physical behaviors signaled that the Beast

felt,

had gained indirect control More cm separation

Remember

that Beast will do anything to satisfy

and plays by no logic, first

rules, ethics, or morality.

any clever language

deciding

of your muscles.

if

will do.

Any warped

You may have

a particular thought

is

itself,

trouble at

you or your Beast.

common strategies that evade detection, along with AVRT responses: 1 1 still think a part of me really does want to drink.

Here are some

.

to

What do we call that part of you that still wants you drink? Can you recognize the Beast here? Either you

want

some more, or you

to drink

to drink,

then drink! That

isn't

don't. If

you

a part of you,

really it

is

want

you.

If

you have had enough to drink, then you don't want to drink. The idea that part of you wants to drink simply leaves the door open for drinking any time you feel a desire to drink. The Beast of AVRT is not a part of you. It is alien to

2.

But,

doesn't

you.

why can't just say mean will do it. I

I

142

that

I

want

to drink?

That

may work for some people, but it is not AVRT. The AVRT is to dissociate with the Addictive Voice by

That rule in

recognizing

nature, using objective (not-me) terms

its

rather than subjective

Addictive Voice helps against 2.

This

it

for

(I,

me) terms. Dissociation from the people who have struggled

many

many years.

is really

going to be a

difficult struggle, for

a long

time. Difficult for 3.

I

whom? You

or the Beast?

both ways about quitting for good. Pure Beast. You have no separation between feel

T and

In AVRT this is impossible because logically you can't have it both ways. You feel good about quitting, it feels bad about quitting. Play by the rules and you cannot fail to remain sober. 4. I can think about quitting, but I really have trouble "it."

with the idea of "never."

Your Beast will permit you to think about quitting, as long as you aren't serious about it. "You need it to cope/' says the Beast. But suppose your doctor has said you are "clinically depressed." That proves you have a depressive disease, and you need some foreign chemical in your body in order to feel normal. So he may give you anti-depressants, but you drink on top of them because that's what you wanted to do in the first place. And you feel worse because the antidepressants don't mix with alcohol. So there you are, depressed since conception, hopelessly trapped in your addiction, drinking because you feel so bad all the time. But underneath it all, you know what you're doing, don't you? Deeeeep pleasure. One woman drank after learning that her husband had been unfaithful to her. She was told by a counselor 143

was "drinking on him," as a way of getting even, and as a way of "dealing with the pain of betrayal. But this didn't settle the question in her mind about why she had chosen to drink after several years of abstinence, particularly since she had gotten through other stressful that she

**

times without drinking or even seriously considering

Once she immersed

herself in

AVKT, she had no

it.

difficulty

reconstructing her relapse by recalling that her Beast had exploited the marital disturbance. "You shouldn't have to

emotional turmoil/ she recalls you to have a few drinks. After all, look what he's done to you." experience

all

thinking.

would be

"It

this

perfectly understandable for

Her decisive insight was that once she decided that she would drink, she lost

all

made plans

feelings of anger. For several

check into a motel and get drunk, she became practically unconcerned about her husband's infidelity. When she realized that by the time days, as she

to

she drank, she was already feeling matter sunk

in.

When

she

finally

fine,

the truth of the

drank, she was drinking

for the pleasure of it, and the marital problems were only a front for her singular desire to drink.

How do you

spell relief? P-l-a-n

t-o

d-r-i-n-k.

The addicto-depressive condition It is possible that you suffer a depressive illness. But, because you are reading this book, that is unlikely. Depressive illness is a condition in which one's brain chemistry is out of whack, creating low moods, tearfulness, loss of appetite, loss of interest, indecision,

sleep disturbance (too

much

or too

little),

and

feelings of

helplessnness and hopelessness. These symptoms are persistent.

When something good

continues. Nothing

is

happens, the depression funny. There is no pleasure with

depressive illness. Depressive illness results in such

144

persistent emotional pain

Many

are attractive.

a

way out

and despair that ideas

people actually do

of their misery.

kill

of dying

themselves as

wonder and they

Anti- depressants are

drugs that really do work with depressive many from suicide.

illness,

have saved

But alcohol dependent people rarely drink because they suffer depressive illness. They are depressed because they drink alcohol. People suffering from depressive illness

may

try alcohol as a self-medic at ion,

they find that alcohol, which depressant,

is

worse, so they discontinue

when

they do

a central nervous system

a lousy anti-depressant.

is

but

it.

It

makes them

But you may often

feel

feel

depressed and drink to relieve depression. If so, you probably suffer from an addicto-depressive condition.

The Beast passion

is

of booze is a

creature of depression.

Its

alcohol, which causes a depressed condition in

the body. But

when

deprived of alcohol, the Beast of depression by creating thoughts of

produces moods gloom and doom. It sulks in the wet, unlit recesses of the midbrain, using your thought processes to create visions of endless misery, promising instant relief by drinking. It tells

you that

good in life is

life,

life is

that

life

hardly worth

largely meaningless, that there is

has few

if

any

living. It will

real pleasures,

little

and that

not hesitate to suggest

may

as well commit suicide and get it over with. "Life sucks," it broods, "and you will never feel right. And it will often suggest specific ways that you could kill

that you

**

such as by shooting yourself or running your car into a cement wall or off a cliff. Then, like a friend in the wilderness, it will suddenly interrupt its morbid monologue and suggest, "But that would be too messy. And what if it wouldn't work? You might end up paralyzed and that would be really bad.

yourself,

145

Besides, there is one thing that will help, and that would be to get drunk, and since I'm on the verge of killing myself, getting drunk doesn't seem stupid at all. Now, just run out and get our life-saving alcohol. That'll do real well." This script, common among alcohol dependent people, often goes on for years or even decades. This is

why

the expression, "slow-motion suicide,** doesn't really

hit the

mark

in describing the

way some

people slowly

drink themselves to death.

They

aren't trying to kill themselves at

all.

In their

own

thinking, they are consciously trying to save their

lives

by drinking alcohol instead

But the Beast, with

its

of destroying themselves.

singular passion for alcohol, cares

It demands more alcohol, sending the drinker plummeting into deepening depression, hopelessness, and despair, and the call for more alcohol becomes louder and louder. The drinker may stop drinking periodically to dry out, to earn some money, to mollify family or relatives who are getting fed up, or even out of fear of decline and death. But these stoppages are only that, and the Beast has little difficulty in seeding the consciousness with

not.

hopelessness.

This addicto-depressive disorder continues and deepens even during long "dry" periods. It takes the form of, "What's the use of not drinking if I still feel rotten?" Not to be confused with the "dry drunk" of 12-step lore, addicto-depressives are not showing a symptom of the disease of alcoholism. Instead, they are hearing amplified

thoughts that generate depressed moods. The Addictive Voice, seeking eventual satisfaction in alcohol, promises the hell of lifelong depression. But

it

also offers instant

heavenly bliss until finally the toxic payoff is in hand, brought to the lips, and at long last, swallowed down. 146

Relief, for

they

these addicto-depressives,

rediscover

alcohol

that

antidepressant, and that depression. So the result

is

only partial. Alas,

very good and causes more

isn't

a

wears off may be an alcoholic purgatory it

of

unrestrained drinking that keeps the blood alcohol level at

a

level

high enough to blunt one's awareness of the

futility

of drinking — drinking to oblivion.

To

illustrate the addicto- depressive disorder, let's take

the case of Bob,

who has

finally

decided to quit drinking

because of family and job problems. He functions well all day at work, but when he arrives home, he retreats to the bedroom, where he just lies on the bed, staring at the television, not really paying attention to the program. His wife, Gail, is unhappy because she hoped that their relationship would improve once he stopped his drinking. Instead, he complains that he is exhausted, too tired to help around the house, and disinterested in sex or simple closeness. Bob has not had a drink for one month, and he

no better than the day he quit. He wonders how long he can endure the depression he feels, and wonders if he will ever feel better. But, deep inside, Bob knows that if he would have a few stiff drinks, that he would "feel normal again." But he holds out, one-day-at-a-time, hoping each day that he will feel better in the evenings. But he doesn't. Bob is "white knuckling it," and fits the profile of the mythical "dry drunk" of the disease model of addiction. In traditional programs he would be told he hasn't "turned it over," that he is not working a good program, and very certainly that he is not attending enough support group meetings. If he were to be seen by a doctor, he would perhaps be diagnosed as suffering from major depression and given an antidepressant. If he received medication, he would take it but he would very likely drink on top of it feels

147

against medical advice.

Why? Because

antidepressants

Bob only

thinks he drinks

don't create deeeeeep pleasure. to medicate depression.

He

really drinks to get high.

Having been exposed to some Rational Recovery material, Bob senses that he can defeat his problem by using his intelligence. He begins to observe his own internal state, and takes note that he is not depressed all

would be if he suffered a depressive illness. He feels fine at work, and in the evenings, there are some moments when his mood lifts. For weeks, as he lies on the bed, his arms feel heavy, and his fatigue makes getting up a major effort. But he thinks frequently about getting up and going to the liquor store. He imagines purchasing a pint of vodka and drinking it straight down in his car, before driving home. Then, he imagines of the time, as he

returning to the store, buying a week's supply, returning to the car,

and

home feeling like a new man. What Bob, who is being set up by his Beast,

driving

a fantasy. But, for

more than a

When

he thinks this way, he and the depression vanishes. On some occasions, he actually gets up, walks about, and feels a surge of energy and vitality. this is

fantasy.

feels better. His energy returns,

Making a serious

effort to

make

his

life

better,

Bob

decides that he will not drink. Instantly, his depression returns, he feels fatigued again,

the bed.

"When

will this

and he slumps back onto

ever be over," he asks himself.

A

wrong with you. You can't make it. You are an alcoholic and you're hopeless. You may as well end it all." At which time. Bob again thinks of drinking, and accordingly feels better. But Bob persists, and the next evening asks himself, "How long can I take this?" But this time he reflects on why he is not drinking, and he certainly has a laundry list

voice answers, "Never. There's something

148

of excellent reasons to abstain. His feels desperate. So, the

care

how bad

again.

If

drink.

I

life

am

I

I

feel,

life is

answer comes,

or for

how

a mess, and he

"Forever.

how much

under the influence

I

don't

long, J will never drink

depressed twenty years from now,

don't care

I

suffer,

My

of alcohol.

I

I

not

will

my drink was my

refuse to live

last

final fix."

By

following reason to its conclusion

difficult decision,

Bob made a Big

and by making a

Plan. Probably, in that

was

instant, Bob's addiction to alcohol

over.

He

felt

an

from the depressed mood, and his fatigue its determination, he faced down his Beast and it collapsed. His Addictive Voice became a faint echo of a life-threatening force that had compelled him for many years to drink in spite of all consequences. He will still face the mop-up operation of contending with occasional Beast attacks and solving his many problems, but he will be energized by the feeling of being in control. This story of "Bob" is drawn from many people with similar experiences in Rational Recovery self-help groups, in the RR-Residential program, in AVRT: The Course, (a brief, intensive educational program) and from letters submitted to The Journal of Rational Recovery. There are many more, probably millions of stories like Bob's, stories immediate

relief

vanished. Matching

of people

who

finally got fed

up with

their addictions,

and

seized control. Those are the untold stories of Rational

Recovery that have only recently come to that recovery is not only a

human

light.

They show

competency, but also

commonplace. The Echo Effect Or are you kidding yourself? When you have thought seriously about lifetime abstinence and finally feel comfortable with, "I will never drink again," you may feel a 149

The Beast of Booze (or the Beast of Buzz) is only a beast, and all beasts respond to authority. But you may have a funny feeling that all is not quite the way it seems, and that you may once again return to the trough for another stint of drinking or drugging. "How can I ever really know?" you may fret. "I just feel unsure, like grand sense of

the Beast

is

relief.

waiting quietly, smirking, letting

false comfort of thinking

As you

I

really

me

enjoy the

have a Big Plan."

your Big Plan, listen for an echo. Think to yourself, "I will never drink/use again," and wait silently. Listen, and you may hear a subtle "echo" saying something like, "Yeah, sure," or, "We'll see," or perhaps you will only notice an odd feeling. This is the echo effect, a highly recognizable Beast presence that serves to undermine any sense of confidence. One woman who relapsed soon after leaving the RRResidential program reported later that she did notice an odd feeling, an "echo effect," while in the program, but did not mention it to anyone (the Beast operates in secrecy). Returning home, she found that the vague, background Try

this.

state

became acute anxiety followed by a feeling of resignation and drinking. Another person resumed drinking before returning home. He experienced no anxiety, but simply accepted a drink from the flight attendant on the trip home. Both of them later reported hearing persistent Beast activity during the program saying, "Yeah, sure; you know it can't be any other way. You will always go back to drinking. It's useless to do anything else. You are doomed to drink forever." Notice

feeling of insecurity

the Beast's use of the second person, "you." Whatever

echo

response you have in response to your Beast struggling against you.

effect or negative

your Big Plan

is

150

struggling for

enemy,

it

its life.

When you

recognize

it

as your old

will fall silent.

When you

your Big Plan to yourself, it may feel like a lie. You may even hear your Beast echoing, "That's a lie." To expose the Beast's absurdity, ask yourself, "Is it possible for me to lie to myself?" Is it possible? Try telling yourself a lie right now. It can't be done! So, when you state that you will never drink again, is it possible that you are lying? To whom? Obviously, your Beast has gotten the message, and does not like it one bit. As you read the above paragraph, you may have felt insecure, as your own Beast took advantage of the fact that some people who have had lots of AVRT have later relapsed. That's fine; let it happen. Go ahead and /eel the idea that you will inevitably relapse. This vague, uneasy feeling is nothing more than your own Beast, which would like you to believe that you will resume drinking even though you are presently opposed to doing so. state

Relapse anxiety

you

anxious thinking about eventual relapse, recognize that moment as a perfect opportunity to use If

AVRT in

feel

—

most potent way. Simply be aware recognize that you are feeling anxious about relapsing, and attribute that feeling to your old conniving enemy, the Beast! It's just that simple, and it's not really difficult. Here is a way to understand even more clearly what you its

—

are doing.

Relapse anxiety's hidden agenda Refer back to our structural model of addiction, with

the two-part brain. Your "Beast

you

activity,''

the feeling that

simply your midbrain influencing the language center, located in your neocortex. Remember that your neocortex is "you," and will eventually relapse,

151

is

your anxiety about relapse is originating in your midbrain. Now, re-create or intensify your anxiety about inevitably relapsing. Imagine that eventually the Beast will get the best of you and you will become powerless to say "No." When it seems that you will drink again, you will feel relapse anxiety. Go ahead and let yourself feel the anxiety.

But here's the catch. You may also notice that you feel a quiet satisfaction with the idea that you will eventually relapse.

Some

people describe the feeling as

"...a

smirking

sense of satisfaction that I may relapse. " That is your Beast, grinning behind your legitimate anxiety. As you now recognize what's going on, you are "hopping up" into

your neocortex, if you can imagine this. You are thinking objectively about your anxiety and noticing a hidden satisfaction that you may become powerless and relapse. Anxiety cuts both ways. You are frightened of relapse and happy with the idea of a Big Plan. (Aren't you?) But your Beast is frightened at the Big Plan and happy about the possibility of relapse. So when you have feelings about either the Big Plan or about relapse, you can recognize which party, you or it, is being offended or pleased. When this becomes clear you will be much more secure in your Big Plan.

You may have heard the

expression, "warning signs of

relapse." In traditional programs,

risk of drinking alcohol exist.

HALT

is

the

if

acronym

tired." If this is so, that

one

any of

is

said to be at high

the "HALT

conditions"

for "hungry, angry, lonely, or

you are more vulnerable

to

when hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, then we might conclude that life is a constant struggle to remain sober. In AVRT, however, there are no warning signs of relapse, but only Beast activity. Instead of undermining your self-confidence by putting you in a drinking or using

152

AVRT assures you

that even if you were stranded on a desert island, angry as hell that you are there, hungry for anything but coconuts, and tired of defensive posture,

endless boredom, you would be entirely capable of instantly recognizing and neutralizing your Addictive

washed ashore. Would you drink the beer? Who knows? That is your personal business. There are many of us, however, who most

Voice

if

a case of cold beer

probably would not drink the beer unless physical survival

somehow depended upon

it.

Triggers, warning signs of relapse, stages of recovery,

and

post-acute withdrawal.

you have been in "treatment," and now have decided to handle the problem of addiction yourself with AVRT, you have much to unlearn. The Small Book is essentially a polemical book that takes issue with The Big Book" of AA. If you have not read The Small Book, do so soon. One If

early chapter is a critique of the 12-steps themselves,

exposing their inherent falsehoods and irrationalities. In RR, many people unlearn the 12 steps, one step at a time.

But professionalism, with

its

incessant use of scientific

discourse to say ordinary things, has become the backbone of addiction "treatment," lending

new

dignity to the religio-

spiritual content of the 12-step program.

The most notable

example of this kind of scientific confetti is the "denial" misconception, which traces back to Freud's more sophisticated theories.

But other concepts from the disease model are also part of our common language. Here are some to think over, with your AVRT as a filter. 1

.

"Triggers" are situations or events that are high risk for

relapse.

An

old song, a previous drinking partner, going to

a certain part of town, or becoming angry, anxious, or

153

depressed. These circumstances are said to "trigger" a "Slippery place" falls

Question:

If

you

may

culminate in self-intoxication. into the concept of "trigger."

series of events that

aren't going to drink

any more, what

could "trigger" you to do so?

Warning signs of relapse. These are thoughts, feelings, or behaviors you or others observe that, once again, indicate "high risk" of relapse. Hungry, angry, lonely, and 2.

tired (HALT) is the best

known example

of "warning signs

of relapse."

sounds as if "treatment" views abstinence as conditional on comfort. Certainly, any self-respecting It

Beast

will

be thrilled to learn that there are unavoidable

"high-risk" (high-opportunity)

moments

that are part of

"Warning signs of relapse," is probably one of your Beast's most delicious ideas imaginable. Except for "post-acute withdrawal." This one takes the cake. Did you know that you aren't mentally clear for six months after your last drink? That's right, and professional "treatment" specialists will show you pictures of your brain cells to prove it to you. Your neurons aren't producing the right stuff, and that results in "cognitive impairment" (you can't really think straight). So, not much is to be expected of you, as long as you show up for your "treatment" sessions. If you have any objections to the "treatment" program, you are not only "in denial," but also suffering from brain damage called "post-acute withdrawal." If you relapse, that would be understandable and expected. The icing on the cake is the idea of moderate or "controlled" drinking. This is the fondest wish of all addicted people. I once received a call from a man who daily living.

said, "I've got a big-time, long-standing drinking problem,

154

but I can tell you now that I'm not going to quit drinking. I have money lots of it. I will pay you any amount you ask if you will help me to control my drinking. " I told him

—

AVRT: The Course is an inexpensive way to quit altogether, but I would not participate in his plans to drink for any amount of money. I suggested he shop for a counselor who does that kind of thing and call back if and when he is ready to quit for good. I haven't heard from him, and it is possible that he is drinking moderately

that

—

to his Beast's satisfaction.

But

I

doubt

it.

Stages of recovery. A man named Prochaska has a theory about the stages people go through toward 4.

recovery.

The

stages

are

"pre-contemplative,

contemplative, decision, and action." this,

way

as

if

Much

is

made

an addicted person would be impressed

in

of

some

or benefit from this kind of information.

It is

terribly

fascinating, however, to the learned class

who

attend

conferences and publish professional papers. All of the

thoughts

ideas in this section are the kinds of

minds of "treatment" who themselves were never

occupy the

that

professionals, especially ones

addicted to anything but the next breath of fresh

"treatment" mentality

net effect of the responsibility onto

experts

who

air.

The

to

shift

usually have

little

is

understanding of the subjective experience of addiction and who have no understanding of what it's like to be in "treatment" for addiction. stop drinking at

It's

a wonder that any really

all.

Personal Business

your own personal business and is best kept that way. A number of RR group facilitators have suggested that when one finally makes a Big Plan, it might be good "...to tell another human being about the decision,

Your Big Plan

is

155

to share the experience as a

significance, as a

"rite of

way

passage

w

of emphasizing its acknowledged by the

support group.

Of course,

this is a

hangover from traditional 12-step

sentimentality about interpersonal dependency.

AA program directs one to

the "steps" of the

wretched

guilt with

person.** In that

God and with

One

"...share

at least

of

your

one other

program, confessing your sins to others alcoholic** in public are both

and proclaiming yourself "an

thought to build a desirable, self-deprecating attitude, "humility,** and in doing so one is setting a self- trap for times when one is tempted to drink. The more people who know that you are "an alcoholic,** the better the chances are that someone will be standing near to intervene, should you show signs of drinking. For example, Linda, a woman who was abstinent for several years, moved to another community where no one knew of her identity as "an alcoholic.** Within three

months she was

consistently

drunk and

failing in

her

marriage and work. Later she recalled thinking soon after arriving in town,

Tm

starting

my

life all

over again.

No

one knows about the trouble I had with drinking, and for once, it*s nice just being myself without that alcoholic identity hanging over me. I feel normal again, and I can make new friends based on who I am rather than upon what's wrong with me.** Then, at a welcoming party, she

was offered a drink, and she heard the thought, "I don't want these people knowing that I have a problem with alcohol. If I don*t accept the drink, then someone will figure out that I'm an alcoholic, and start asking me if I have found a new AA home group. I want to stay free of all that,

so

I'll

take the drink and only have a teensy

bit.**

156

little

Linda drank the entire drink, plus one more. And, bad happened. Her Addictive Voice was wellpoised to strike and it did. She began to wonder if she was nothing

an alcoholic, and she began to test her ability to drink more frequently, all the while enjoying the alcoholic buzz immensely. The more she enjoyed drinking, the less she believed she had "the disease of alcoholism." Her binges became noticeable to others before she became alarmed, and her troubles mounted. Despite years of 12-step involvement Linda was incompetent to remain sober. She had remained sober oneday-at-a-time through constant attendance of AA meetings; having learned dependency and helplessness well, she was unprepared for independent sobriety. She had no concept of her Addictive Voice, and no plan for permanent abstinence. She had based her day-by-day abstinence on her faith that she had a "disease" and that one drink would have abrupt, serious consequences. She was "all Beast," thinking, "Who will know if I drink? Besides, what proof is there I'm really an alcoholic?" Because she told no one that she was "an alcoholic," no one came to her rescue when she started drinking. Telling someone about your Big Plan is similar to telling others you are "an alcoholic." What do you think your Beast would make of your confiding to someone about your Big Plan? Wouldn't it wonder why you have done so? Wouldn't your Beast find leverage in this by really

concluding that you, alone, are not capable of remaining sober? If you recall that Beasts have no friends but only partners, can you see that your Beast doesn't give a damn about anyone to whom you may confide about your Big

your own personal business and no You don't need any help; it would only get in

Plan? Your Big Plan

one

else's.

is

157

your way. No one else needs to know that you have decided to never drink again, but your Beast will be acutely and most unhappily aware of your life-changing decision. You are in the ring with your Beast, one-on-one, and you have a truly awesome advantage. Shifting.

You and your Beast look Neither can imagine Beast's perspective,

life

life

at

life

in different ways.

as defined by the other. From the without drinking is inconceivable,

but from a vantage point of stable sobriety, it will be inconceivable to think of resuming the use of alcohol or drugs. It all depends on how you look at it. There are two of you, remember? You and it. And you both share the same body, the same senses, the same set

and ears, the same emotions and feelings. you are around alcoholic beverages, say when you

of eyes If

are shopping or in a restaurant, look at a drink or a bottle.

Better yet, find your old favorite bottle and look at

can do

it.

(You

your head right now, using mental images rather than the real thing.) Look at it both ways, and feel the difference. Allow your Beast to drool. Feel the arousal, the desire. It won't hurt you to excite your Beast this way. Then, remember the pain that drinking alcohol has caused this in

you. See the bottle as ugly. Recognize the feelings of desire

as your enemy. Notice the difference in

how you

feel.

This

you in complete control over how you perceive the idea of drinking. It all depends on how you exercise places

look at

it.

you have reason to be around drinkers, look closely at someone who has had a few too many. From your sober viewpoint, you will see a deteriorating person with slurred speech getting louder and laughing at things that aren't quite funny. Look again, and you may remember being in If

158

and having a

that shape,

delightful time.

person is simply ahead and you haven't had enough

From

that mind-

set, this

of you, having a great

time,

to drink!

One man

bar after abstaining for several months. He saw some disheveled people draped over each other at the end of the bar and the air smelled of stale beer and urine. Country music, which he hated, filled the dimly-lit room, and the bartender looked like a zombie. But as he stood there something strange came over him. The people suddenly looked friendly and interesting, and he had a desire to sit down with them at the bar. The bartender seemed more human, the low lighting seemed told of looking into a

and the music took on a soothing quality. The smell of the place aroused nostalgic feelings, and he felt as if he belonged inside. For a brief moment he wished he lived nearby so that he could walk between his home and this haven of human hospitality. Because he was experienced in AVRT, he chuckled, remembering that his Beast is a master of illusion. He then did something remarkable. He shifted his perceptions back and forth, between himself and his Beast, and was impressed that he could voluntarily change his perception of that drinking environment, from a disgusting dive to a haven of hospitality. From that day forward, he has had no significant Beast activity. In an instant, he had learned to relaxing,

control his perception of alcohol, leaving

him

virtually

unable to seriously consider drinking again. Isn't

the idea, "At times, there

against the

But

it

first

won't

is

no human defense

drink," utterly absurd?

die!

Remember, a Big Plan only requires a willingness to actually

kill.

perfect

That doesn't mean that you can your midbrain by

kill off the living tissue of

159

deciding you will abstain from alcohol. Your midbrain will

continue to send out "drink!" messages for quite a while, possibly for the rest of your life. How does it feel to think that your Beast doesn't really die, that waiting

game

that

may last the

it

only plays a

rest of your life?

Relax. It's all different now. You have a Big Plan, and your Beast knows it. Even with beasts, reality sinks in. With your Big Plan, your task is reduced to instant, shoot-from-the-hip recognition. Because of your Big Plan, which is absolute and final, everything your Beast has to say is dead wrong, even before you hear it.

At

first, it

may seem that

to stay sober, all

the

way

life

will

and that your Beast

be a constant struggle your heels

will lick at

to the end. In reality, the battle will

soon be

During the first weeks of abstinence you will probably feel odd, as if something is missing. (Something is missing alcohol! and the Beast will feel it!) But you will get used to it. And to some extent, your Beast will also get used to it. Like a horse in a rodeo, the Beast of booze understands superiority. When it learns that its struggle is futile it will settle down. But, like some ornery horses, it will occasionally start bucking. With AVRT, you will always be prepared to respond smoothly and effectively, and never be thrown by the Beast. Here is a businessman's remarks about residual Beast activity. "After ten years of abstinence, I still hear some Beast activity, especially when I'm flying somewhere. over.

—

When

—

comes by with the beverage cart would like, my eyes sometimes go to the little bottles of liquor and I hear my Beast saying, 'Yes! That would be good. Why not?' But this is not even an annoyance any more. I usually think, How strange, that the Beast would still try to pull one on me after so many the flight attendant

and asks what

I

4

160

years.'

There

amusement

is

no discomfort or

that

it still

struggle, only a sense of

happens."

Aggressive listening

AVRT is more than a perfect defense against future problems with alcohol. The saying. The best defense is a good offense,** applies also to AVRT. Thus far, you have learned how to recognize your Addictive Voice and are preparing to kill it with your Big Plan. Still, it refuses to you in a defensive position, wondering perhaps, "What next?" This arrangement, in which you patiently wait to hear your Beast's next move, gives it a subtle advantage. In the background, it can wait patiently to ambush you when it has a perfect opportunity. It may seem to tell you, "It's not over. Sooner or later, I'll get you. Wait and see." This may leave you feeling insecure about your future; that is your Beast's intention. It still has a foothold in your consciousness, and it will preserve it as die, leaving

long as

can.

it

games such as chess, football, and tennis, the who makes the first move has the advantage. In AVRT, you can gain the advantage by making the first In

player

move, just as you would by playing white in chess, by serving the tennis ball, or by taking possession of the football. You can take the initiative and attack your Beast.

how to

attack your Beast. Address

were another person in this way; "You keep trying to convince me that there are good reasons for me to drink alcohol. I just want to hear one good reason why I should drink Here's

alcohol,

now

on. Tell

me

or in the future. right

Why

should

I

it

as

if it

drink?

Come

now!" Now, wait for an answer. You

probably won't hear a reason, because your Beast knows that you know that whatever it says is wrong, even before 161

it

it

is

proposed. You will possibly hear a pathetic, "Because

feels

good/ or dead

silence.

Your Beast

is

on the

defensive! Don't let up.

your Beast attempts to give any reason that drinking might be a reasonable option at some future time, If

be prepared to laugh. In desperation, your Beast

will resort

to extremely unlikely scenarios to prove that your Big

Plan has holes in

it.

"Suppose," as

it

will

usually begin,

"you are shipwrecked on a deserted island, dying of thirst,

and a keg of beer or a case of vodka comes floating by. Wouldn't you drink something then?" Or it may suggest, "Supposing you suddenly learn that a nuclear war has already begun and the missiles are in the air, and it's only thirty minutes until the end of everything. What's the difference, what you do, then?" It may appeal to your financial interests with, "Suppose you are on the brink of signing a ten million dollar contract with an eccentric Japanese businessman who insists that you honor the occasion with a glass of sake; otherwise the deal is off. Wouldn't it be stupid for you to refuse having just one little

drink then?"

At

first,

these unlikely scenarios

sense of conflict, which

may

create a real

exactly your Beast's purpose in resorting to such arguments. But just ask yourself, "What are the actual chances of any of these situations arising?"

You

is

will quickly see that

the probability

not zero. Then, recognize that the Beast

is

is

almost zero,

if

attempting to

use impossibly low odds to justify its position. Deep pleasure is all it wants, and it will use any warped logic to get what it wants. But there is something even more sinister in the contrived logic of the Beast, as we may see in the above example that used the possibility of nuclear war to justify 162

What kind

drinking alcohol. barter the entire

human

for a lousy drink?

would

of Beast is this that

race and the planet Earth itself

This example was actually presented in

the RR-Residential program by a bright struggling with his Big Plan.

He

said,

man who was "I

drinking under the usual circumstances, but

can see not if

the

bombs

were falling, I know what I would do. I would grab a 12pack and go to the top of a hill where I could see it happen and go out with a buzz on. This I know for sure." The group leader then asked, "Now suppose that you were unable to get any alcohol. Think carefully. What would you do then?" The man paused and tears came to his a eyes. I would hold my family close. They would be afraid. I would want to be with the ones I love. I would not want to be drunk with so little time left."

A woman

considering a Big Plan found that her worst

case scenario would be the death of her daughter. She was

shocked to realize that her Beast would cash in on tragedy that way, in effect saying, "You shouldn't have to feel the pain of loss." She realized, of course, that there is no grief without loss of

love,

and that the Beast was attempting

to

deny her the most meaningful emotions that she could experience. She recognized an odd, smirking awareness about the possibility of drinking under those conditions. Aggressive listening brings out the worst or the best in

your Beast, depending on how you look at it. You may be appalled at what it has to say. It is sub-human, both physically (see Fig.

1)

nothing that you love, lead

you

to

abandon

and in its character. It cares for and given the opportunity it will

love at the drop of a hat

— for

a

drink.

But what about the Beast's you turn down a

earlier question?

single ceremonial drink

163

if it

meant

Would losing

millions of dollars? That's your business, but

I

sincerely

hope not! Going further than wetting your lips to get some wet ink on the contract, however, would be highly suspect! Does this suggest that a salesperson with a Big Plan might drink each time he or she sells a big-ticket item? To the Beast it means just that, and more.

AVRT is effortless Never negotiate or attempt to reason with your Beast. You will struggle if you do. "White-knuckling" is often a result of negotiating with the Beast, that is, "Should I or shouldn't I? Maybe 1*11 just stay sober for today, and tomorrow will take care of itself. Oh, maybe I can have just a

little.**

And

negotiation

so on. Reasoning dignifies ideas of drinking;

shows your willingness

to compromise.

Any

idea of drinking is instantly recognizable, so shoot from

the hip.

When you

hear or

feel

the Beast stirring, think,

"Gotcha!** Instead of saying, "No,** say, "Never.**

The greatest irony recovery

is

of recovery

from addiction

easy, not difficult. For the

AVRT

is

that

same reason

that

you stop to think of it, "will** has nothing to do with "power,** any more than intelligence has to do with brute force. "Will** is

willpower doesn't work,

is effortless. If

neocortical; "power** is subcortical. "its"

power, the

human

AVRT is

"your" will over

over the sub-human. Joining the

two words together and saying "Willpower doesn't work,** is like pointing out that you cannot teach a dog to talk. Your will is nothing more than a very intelligent decision to abstain.

The power is the biological drive to selfwhat makes you human. When you

intoxicate. Free will is

have made a decision to abstain, recognition of the Addictive Voice in your thoughts, behavior, and feelings, is effortless. Either you recognize it or you don't. If you do recognize it, it will struggle. When you feel the struggle. 164

you are on top. It is your Beast that is struggling, not you. you did was recognize it, effortlessly. The perfect willingness to kin There is one aspect of AVRT that raises concerns of morality. It is a sensitive issue that is easily misunderstood, but nevertheless an integral part of defeating your addiction to alcohol. The point: AVRT puts you in the position of killing a living thing your Beast. At first this may sound a little far-fetched, because the Beast is a construct, a metaphor, a figment of your imagination. If the Beast were only an imaginary entity, the question of getting rid of it by "killing" it would be as

All

—

simple as the accepting deaths that occur in fairy

But there imagination.

many

is

more

It is

to the

tales.

Beast of Booze than your

a very real part of you, and has been for

years. Although without intelligence,

it

"thinks"

It has feelings you know any creature does, and it has a passion for the pleasure you feel from drinking. The logic of AVRT is deadly to the Beast. Already, you probably sense that you are capable of establishing a Big Plan that will end your addiction. As the end comes near, your Beast will suffer and it will struggle. You will feel it

through your thought processes. intimately.

suffering.

It

You

wants

will

to live, as

hear

its

pleas for mercy.

Your Beast has been a friend to you for a long time. It has comforted you when you were feeling low, it has kept you company when you were alone, and it has been your companion during some of your finest moments. It will promise you anything if you will just back off and give it a little room to breathe. But you now recognize that your Beast is a deadly enemy. It plays by no rules. Will you play by rules? Who will define those rules? You or it? 165

To

kill

in self-defense is perfectly acceptable

on

ethical,

And you surely know by now that if you don't kill it, it won't hesitate to kill you. As you prepare to end its life, you may feel as if you are suffocating. You will want to have mercy on yourself,

moral, and even legal grounds.

you

back its life. If you struggled to an advantage over a tiger that had attacked you, would you release your death grip on its throat as it weakened and cried for release? Your Big Plan consists of only five words*, "I will never drink again." Saying them with authority and conviction is a death sentence for your Beast. After all you've been through, I hope you will have a perfect willingness to kill it, and to recognize that its groans, its pleas, and its fear are signals of your victory over addiction. (* An even more condensed Big Plan is, "I never drink." The five-word version seems to emphasize the reality of permanent but

if

do,

you

will give

it

abstinence during the early phases of AVRT.)

Now, once again, are you ready? If you feel ready, go ahead. You can make a Big Plan now or later, but it's all the same to you. To your Beast, now is never acceptable. See how your Big Plan feels: "I" is the conscious, human part of you that resides in the large, outer part of your brain. "Will" is the use of intelligence in making decisions. "Never" means never, ever, in the present moment, under any circumstances. "Drink or drug"

means

to

consume

alcohol or other drugs,

as the primitive Addictive Voice demands. "Again" future,

means

that the past

is

a good predictor of the

and you now have enough experience

very important decision to never drink again.

Got

it?

How does

it

feel?

166

to

make

this

The Abstinence Commitment Effect (ACE) Your Big Plan is a meaningful decision, one that changes your life. When you have made a commitment to lifetime abstinence your future will look different, and you may have feelings you have not had before. Have them, whatever they are, and relax. They are very human and natural. A big event has occurred within you, and it should not surprise you if you get goose-pimples or feel have a profound sense of Your depression may no longer have a purpose, and

tearful, joyous, euphoric, or relief.

you may sense that

strongly.

There

is

nothing spiritual,

mysterious about what you have done. You

religious, or

have simply changed a belief about yourself and about your future. People do this kind of thing all the time. Here are some comments I have heard from people who

have just made a Big Plan and are experiencing the Abstinence Commitment Effect: "It's like graduation day, after a long

Knowing

it's

over

"For the

first

feel like

I

have a

such a reliefl" time, I can see a future

difficult struggle.

is

life

free of alcohol.

I

again."

"My recovery is not just beginning; best part. Now I can live for myself.''

it's

over. That's the

know my troubles are not over, but my addiction is over! Now my life will be much simpler." "I can see I will never have a new problem caused by alcohol. What a feeling!" "I

"Now

I

see that

if

I

don't drink,

I

cannot possibly be an

alcoholic. The gray cloud of alcoholism

good

is

gone.

What a

feeling!"

"These aren't bad tears; they're tears of happiness."

167

me

from the whole recovery thing and makes me a normal person who simply doesn't drink. What a terrific idea! I can feel it in my bones!" "All of a sudden getting help with this problem seems like a silly idea. I don't drink, and that's that. No one can help me, which is fine with me, because now I know what I'm doing. I feel released from a long struggle, like finally "This sets

it's

free

really over." "It's

a wonderful feeling to be in control after feeling

powerless for so long." "This changes everything.

was

addiction

so good,

all

might

I

and

about, feel

Now

it's

I

can see what

so simple.

If I

my

didn't feel

angry at having been misled

for so

long."

"My skin

is

of the word,

crawling like 'freedom.'

I

just discovered the meaning

It's

a strange feeling, but

I

understand it." "It's a confirmation of my original self. This is what I thought many years ago, but I didn't have the courage to stand up to all the experts who said I couldn't do it on my own. Now I see I'm the only one who can do it." "It's shocking to see the other side, where there is hope and where I can just be myself and have a happy life."

moment

"For a

I

was

thinking, 'What's the

word

for

when you think something good

will happen?' Then I remembered the word is 'hope,' and I started to cry. It's been so long since I had hope because of the disease indoctrinations. Now I have hope, and I can feel it!" "I will have fewer problems because I don't drink. What

a concept!"

Hope

is

when you persistent,

not a "pink cloud" that

least expect

and you

will

will

suddenly vanish

You already know your Beast is almost certainly have times when

it.

168

you have thoughts

and aroused about the possibility of getting high. But you be able to recognize your Addictive Voice and of drinking or using drugs

feel

will its

corresponding feelings as a sniveling, defeated enemy. Congratulations on your Big Plan. Hope feels good, and

you may confidently enjoy

it.

Tomorrow is a new day, and your Beast will be busy at work, trying to salvage a foothold in your thinking. Will you be ready?

will bet that

I

you

are.

Quick summary of AVRT: B: Boozing opportunity, especially perfect opportunities now, but also opportunities in the future.

E:

Enemy

recognition.

You

are in danger.

No

negotiation.

A: Accuse your Beast of malice. Assert your control.

Apply adjectives to the Beast

ruthless,

seductive,

clever,

—

patient,

opportunistic, primitive, etc.

model of addiction. Self-control reminders. You own the voluntary muscles; u it doesn't. Not nof never! T: The Big Plan. Trash the Beast. Treasure your

S: Structural

sobriety.

169

Epitaph to the Beast It

that

my life, but I caught it in the act. I saw me, so I defended myself against it. When I was angered and attacked me in many ways. It

nearly destroyed

it

would

kill

found it out, it used all means to convince me that I had no life without drink, but I saw I had no life with it. I had met a worthy opponent, and feared for my life. But my adversary, the Beast. I

I

believed in

my own

ability to defeat

studied the Beast and learned its nature and its ways. I attacked it with all of my intelligence. I finally learned that to defeat the Beast, I would first expose it, and then become like it. I have matched its ways in every respect: I

Then

The Beast has one goal, to drink forever. So I shall have the opposite goal, to never drink. The Beast is timeless, and looks forward to an eternity of intoxicated "nows."

So

I

became timeless and made a Big Plan

for

eternal

abstinence.

The Beast is not capable of change. Nor am I susceptible to change my decision to never drink. The Beast has access to all that I am, But it is not me, and I am always in control. The Beast is undeterred by pain. So I will endure as much pain as I have, and never drink. The Beast has no memory of pain, So I may forget why I never drink. The Beast is unreasoning in its quest for drink. So I do not reason with it, or explain to it why I never drink. The Beast will kill me in its quest for drink, So I am perfectly willing to feel it die. The Beast is a tyrant, demanding its stuff, So I will be a tyrant, and feel it cringe. I

have hunkered down to meet the Beast on it I have won.

its

own

turf,

and by

equaling

Am

I

now a Beast?

would have me think so, but I am now free of the Beast that has ruled my life. I lived in its prison, now it lives in mine. I am a human being, freed from the chains of addiction, free to meet life on my own terms. It

170

Chapter 8

Life In How

Your Family

long do you think

it

will

take for your family

—

—

your parents, your children, and/or your spouse to forgive you for your preposterous drunken behavior? If you are a parent, how long will it take for your children to trust you once again? A month? Six months? How about a year?

Would you believe never? Your family may never forgive you for your previous drunken behavior. For many years, they will probably wonder how long it will be until you start drinking. The people you offended may stay offended. Years from now, your spouse may still remind you that when you were still drinking, you did such and such.

How

does that feel?

One

of the

addiction

is

most

difficult

parts of recovering from

the aftermath, the result of your

own

past

you Once you have some strong, negative feelings about life in your family. Fortunately, your Big Plan will give you a perfect defense against your Beast, which will attempt to take advantage of the way your family treats you and of the way you feel about it. When you disturb yourself with feelings of shame, guilt, anger, depression and anxiety, your Beast will agree with your irrational thinking and

behavior.

stop drinking,

171

will

very likely

offer you a drink. It may take a while for it to learn that you never drink, no matter how you are treated, and no matter how you feel. But you have a real advantage here, because your Beast cannot think for itself; it cannot make up disturbing ideas of any kind. It only waits until you disturb yourself and then it will offer you a drink. Suppose you have been sober for a while and your spouse starts to complain about problems with money and the children. The criticism is harsh, and your spouse lays it on; he or she points out how much money you spent on alcohol, how much time you spent away from home, and how the children hardly know you when you're sober because youVe been drunk so much of the time for years. Even the family dog, your spouse points out, walks the

other

way when you're around.

How

might you feel? Your spouse is overlooking the fact that you are sober, that you are trying to make things better, and that you sincerely regret your mistakes of the past. Also, your spouse isn't perfect, either. Money was mismanaged, and the children were allowed to get away with too much. Now that youVe stopped drinking, it is being made to appear that you are responsible for all the problems in the family even the dog's! Anger would be an understandable reaction to such treatment. But "understandable" doesn't mean that anger is desirable,

—

healthy, or necessary. Let's use the ABC approach of rational-emotive behavior therapy to describe the problem here. The adversity, or the activating event, "A," is unfair criticism.

The emotional consequence,

"C." is anger. In

REBT,

"A"

doesn't cause "C," but "B" does. "B" stands for your beliefs

about

"A."

172

A:

My

spouse

me

criticizes

blames me

unfairly,

for

everything. B:

He/she shouldn't

treat

me

this way.

I

can't stand being

my positive behavior, and must be respected in the family. My spouse is a bastard/bitch for making me feel like a worm. Damn my spouse! will never be forgiven. It's too late to save the treated this way.

get

I

no appreciation

for

I

I

marriage. is right.

What a

terrible situation! Actually, the criticism

Look what

a real screw-up.

I've

Damn

going to be treated

ahead and drink. At

done!

I've

ruined everything!

am

I

me, damn me, a drunk, then

damn me. If I'm like I may as well go least that will give me some relief from

these terrible feelings. C: Anger, guilt, depression, quarreling, feel like drinking

again.

Remember, the

criticism is not the cause of your painful

what you think about the criticism that upsets you. But because you feel the way you think, you have a great deal of direct control over all of your emotions, but

it is

emotions.

Now we will go further and change the feelings by going to "D,"

which stands

for dispute. Let's

examine each of the

changing each one into a question. shouldn't my spouse criticize me? Why must

beliefs at "B,"

D:

Why

respected?

Do I need to be

respected and loved? Is

loved, or

my

do

I

I

be

simply prefer to be

spouse really a rotten person, a bastard or a bitch, for behaving this way, or merely a fallible person who is behaving poorly? Can another person really make me feel like a worm, or do I cause that feeling by believing it myself? Why must I be forgiven for screwing up as I did? Why can't I still respect myself even though others still blame me for their problems? Is this really a terrible situation, or just an unfortunate one? If it 173

is

too late to save the marriage, would that be the end of

me? Would

that really be awful, or just a sad situation

would

that

I

were

all true,

to

Even if the criticisms would that make me a bad person? According

get over as others do?

whom? Where

is

written that people

it

who

fail

are

worthless people?

new

no reason that reality should not be as it is. Everything has a cause, and I don't have to completely understand why this is happening in order to accept reality. Because I accept E: (effective

philosophy) There

is

human being, I do

not

need, but only desire, to be accepted and loved by

my

myself as a

fallible,

yet worthwhile,

my

spouse a rotten person for treating me unfairly. I, and not my spouse, cause my feelings of anger, guilt and depression. If I am never forgiven, I can family. Neither is

still

would be would go on, and I

forgive myself. If there is a divorce, that

unfortunate, but not catastrophic. Life

would

find other goals.

fWe

will

not dispute the ideas of

redundant and only opens the door for negotiation. By now, you have a Big

drinking here, because disputation Plan,

and the drinking thinking

Beast

activity,

already

known

to

is

is clearly

recognizable

be "wrong.")

angry, knowing that

can accept myself and reality. I feel less guilty, knowing that by screwing up as I did, I proved beyond any doubt that I am a fallible human being, but certainly not a worthless one. I feel less depressed, knowing that I can endure hardship and that the future offers hope for a better life. The above example of REBT covers many tough issues you will face as a newly-sober person. Let's face it, you are at a political disadvantage in the family because of your drinking history. Criticism and mistrust by the family are predictable, so get used to it. REBT can help you to F: (feelings)

I

feel less

174

I

achieve a calm, self-accepting attitude toward family criticism,

and

to avoid

common

emotional

pitfalls.

Here are some guidelines to help you navigate the troubled waters of life in your family. They are not steps that necessarily follow one another, but simply suggestions for a rational approach to family life. 1. Approach each person in the family about your drinking problem. Don't wait for them to say something. You drank for many years, and they haven't been able to communicate with you about your behavior for a long time. Your Beast didn't want to hear of it. 2. Admit your role. Listen to your family's complaints. Tell your family members that you became more devoted to drinking than to them. Don't minimize how seriously you disappointed them.

Acknowledge the hurt. While you were drinking, your Beast was in control, and it didn't really give a damn about how others felt about your drinking. Now that you 3.

are sober, you angry, hurt,

know

and

felt

betrayed. Although

it

would help no

and shame, there are appropriate fit; regret, sadness, and remorse are help you to move forward with your life

one for you to feel emotions that do feelings that will

that they were frightened, disgusted,

guilt

because they can be expressed in meaningful ways. Don't explain their feelings away. Put yourself in their shoes and

imagine the feelings they had as best you can. See if you can imagine in yourself the feelings they had. Now you

them you understand how they felt. 4. Apologize. Tell them that you feel sadness about the problems your drinking has caused. The sadness you feel is remorse, and it is quite different from guilt or shame. It

can

is it

tell

based on understanding the pain they felt and regretting because you care about them. You can feel much 175

sadness about their suffering without blaming, condemning, or damning yourself. 5. Absorb their anger. Just because you aren't blaming yourself doesn't mean they aren't. Don't forget, your family got fed up with your drinking behavior long before you did. Give them a break. 6. Ask how you can help. This is not an invitation for compensation. You can't undo what happened before but

you may

some very

find

ways

real

activities that will help the family to

more time with your

to join in

do

better.

certain

Spending

on extra chores, more a savings account, or In some cases even children, taking

refraining from certain annoying habits, eating out often, starting

moving out of the home

may be 7.

Assert your

feel rejected

you

for a while; all of these things

helpful in getting the family love. Part of

on an even

the family's hurt

keel.

is

that they

or betrayed. Instead of trying to explain

didn't reject or betray

them (because you

did),

why

simply

express your real feelings toward them. Tell each of them that you really do care for them,

and that you love them. 8. Anticipate mistrust. Don't expect that your family will believe you when you say you will never drink again. They have good reason to believe otherwise. Expect, instead, that they will continue mistrusting and resenting you indefinitely. Then, if and when it seems that you are being trusted and accepted, you may be pleasantly surprised. In the meantime... 9.

Accept yourself as a fallible person. Don't depend on

them This

to is

make you the

dependency, 10.

if

about yourself. Do it yourself. emotional independence, and

feel better

key to you recall,

is

Abstain from alcohol.

your

It

good for you, and your what you really are.

isn't

family will learn to love you for

176

original problem.

Tour life as an "alcoholic" One of the most significant differences between RR and AA is in the image of the recently sober person. There's been a lot written about you, an "alcoholic/ and little of what has been written is very encouraging. The recovering "alcoholic "or "addict "is regarded as a "sick person" for an indefinite period of time. Although you have finally stopped drinking or using, and may be feeling better physically and emotionally, others may expect you to flounder and veer back to your addiction unless you attend support meetings or are supervised by a sponsor or therapist.

In recent years, traditional "disease thinking" has

American home with the odd idea that because you drank so much, your family members are also "sick" with a "disease" called "codependency." There is no such disease, of course, even though many "alcoholic slithered into the

members" enter "treatment of codependency," in outpatient programs and even in hospitals. In most cases, your loved ones have probably reacted in very understandable ways to your drinking. Instead of labeling each other with the names of problems, it is now time to grow together in more healthy directions. If members of your family have been involved in a 12Al-Anon, Codependents step programs such as Anonymous, or received "treatment" from a professional family

counselor, they have very likely been told that alcoholism is

a family disease. This may have the effect of alienating family, as a carrier of a mysterious, deadly

you from your disease that

now

requires

them

to also participate in

meeting attendance, self- improvement, and therapy. It is as if you are a "Typhoid Mary" who has infected other family members, an invalid extensive

introspection,

177

assume family

and expected to attend frequent 12-step meetings in order to remain sober. The expense of child care several evenings per week can be formidable, and the actual time taken away from the children takes another toll on the family. But, disease thinking can also create anxiety about parenthood that goes beyond the time and money required for child care. Here are some tormenting questions that many parents in traditional recovery ask themselves: unfit to

Are

my

role responsibilities,

children already alcoholics, like time

my own home?

Will they

blame me

children,

alcoholism genetic code?

knowing that

What should

them from becoming "symptomatic?"

I

kind of a parent

am

I?

How

do

12-step program so

I

long can

don't relapse

the

to prevent

Will they have to go

this alcoholic

home with them, but

rather stay at

we avoid carry

I

meetings to

to Alateen, or Adult Children of Alcoholics

overcome the bad influence of

in

passing the

for

disease of alcoholism on to them? Should

having more

bombs

I

I

home? What

stay sober?

I'd

must work a good

and

really

blow

it.

For this kind of recovery-induced distress, here

is

some

common sense. First of

all,

newly sober people are not mentally

disabled in any significant way. Traditional therapists

sometimes flaunt the term, "post-acute withdrawal** (PAW) to convince well people that they are mentally sick after

many months

of abstinence.

If

you don't

feel

mentally

impaired, then you most probably aren't, and you

may

dismiss suggestions that you are impaired as fancified nonsense. It is true that after detoxifying (quitting alcohol)

it

takes a while, a few weeks at the longest, to get

178

adjusted to not drinking. Moreover, you "out of

may feel mentally

during that time, with a foggy disposition, and

it"

you may

But

temporary problem, well-known for eons, that fades as you move forward with the important problems of living and running a family. If you have access to a local RR self-help group, you may make contact with others who have families and feel

a

little irritable.

this is a

are working through problems using concepts of Rational

(The Small

Recovery.

Book has a chapter, "To The

on family dynamics surrounding alcohol and drug dependence. Some excellent, specialized materials on rational-emotive behavior therapy are available in The Rational Recovery Families," that provides additional guidance

Catalog.)

The

first

behavior

may be

point to

remember

is

that while your drunken

may have caused problems

for the family,

you

in the best position to help the family. Rational

an opportunity for personal growth, and the concepts you learn may be quite helpful to others in your family. Of course, you will not be trusted immediately after you stop drinking or using drugs, but whether you are a husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter, you may start living in a way that is more accepting of yourself and Recovery

of others.

is

By doing ABC

exercises like the ones in this

book and in other REBT books, you will become much less irritable, and more able to "stay close to the fire without losing your coor when others become angry. Like the infectious disease concept, rationality is also contagious,

and goes a long way toward restoring harmony

in the

family.

Secondly, you are not an alcoholic or an addict, even though those labels may describe your behavior, and you have not genetically transmitted anything related to

179

addiction to your children except possibly a disposition to

drink too much. The other addictions (cocaine, heroin, pot, etc.) are not seriously considered to be genetically

on that one, and go ahead and have as many babies as you otherwise would have. Really, isn't the idea of an alcoholic baby a little strange? Trust

transmissible. So relax

your

common

sense.

Most kids will experiment with alcohol or possibly drugs, and most of them also get over it. Studies have shown that children of heavy drinking parents drink least later on. There's little relationship between how you drank and how your kids will drink. 12 They are separate people, and you don't have to feel responsible for their adult troubles decades from how. Just water them regularly and be kind to them until they are of age, and you will have done your part. This

is

not intended to rninimize the seriousness of the

problems resulting from your alcohol dependence. If you or your spouse drank a lot, or continue to drink more than occasionally, there probably are problems resulting from

your drinking in the home. Alcohol not only amplifies anger, irritability, and harsh words, but also blunts your other emotions, so that you aren't "for real." Alcohol, when used regularly, transforms your personality in ways that only others can see, and children are the most perceptive people when it comes to telling if mom or dad is sober, high, loaded, feeling good, or blotto. The children do not care if you acted poorly or deplorably toward them because of "diminished capacity due to the disease of alcoholism." They only remember that the most important 12

Milwaukee Sentinel, Sept. 12, 1990, "Study Challenges Tradition on Adult Children of Alcoholics," reviewed in The Journal of Rational Recovery, Vol.3, Iss, 2, pp.23-24

180

know

and did things that were hurtful, It hurts when your parents kind and understanding. But children are resilient,

people they

said

harmful, and disappointing. aren't

and not fragile orchids that wilt when things are not just They understand human fallibility and they will appreciate an explanation of your own feelings, especially your feelings of regret and sorrow that you drank and caused them unhappiness. So part of your Rational Recovery is to let the children know that you know that you were not out of control but out of line, and that you are aware of how they must be disappointed that you acted badly toward them. Tell them you're sorry about the problems related to drinking, and that your drinking is stopped and will stay stopped. Don't tell the kids you are stopping because you love them, because they may justifiably wonder why, if you have loved them all along, you didn't quit years ago. Just tell them you've had enough to drink because it causes you too much grief, and you'd like to have a happier family. so.

That's If

all

they really need to hear.

they ever blame you for their adult problems, the

most important question you might ask yourself could be, "Will they ever grow up?" Of course, adults who whine about their rotten childhoods are not emotionally mature,

and that includes most adults who grew up in homes where a lot of drinking went on. If you find that your son or daughter is attending Adult Children of Alcoholics, take

note that "adult child" pretty well

sums up

the problem.

But your children may follow in your footsteps and become seriously involved with alcohol and/or drugs. Although AVRT was developed for adults who have already developed serious dependency on alcohol, it provides an excellent knowledge base that can help 181

adolescents avoid long-term alcohol dependence. The structural

model

will

show your

dependencies begin in the

first

place

why chemical and why they are so

child

end. AVRT will give your child an objective awareness of the Addictive Voice, enough so that he or she may find it relatively easy to remain alcohol and drug free. But the Big Plan of AVRT, a serious decision for lifetime abstinence, may be premature for most adolescents. It is true that many people do make decisions to abstain from drugs, alcohol, and tobacco during their early years, before a substance-dependent lifestyle has developed and the sense of loss from that decision is perhaps less, but it is difficult for adolescents to make lifetime commitments to anything. And it may be that in a few years things will be different, and alcohol may not present a problem when used in a responsible way. As for your own sobriety, you are becoming well enough informed by reading The Final Fix: AVRT to abstain from drinking or using drugs for the rest of your life. You can dive into your parental roles with wellfounded confidence that your family's alcohol-related problems are about over. Remember that recovery groups don't keep people sober; people keep themselves sober, whether they attend AA or RR groups or not. Use your own common sense and don't let others undermine your confidence that you can completely recover from your difficult to

addiction within a reasonable period of time

— without

getting entangled with groups, sponsors, therapists, or

other "treatment" programs.

182

.

Chapter 9

Implications of

AVRT

you have read The Final Fix and continue to drink or use, you might conclude that you are not addicted at If

but freely choosing your chemical dependency. That is your right, and your judgment is the one that counts. But wouldn't it be rather pointless for you to go all,

certainly

what you desire? But if you have had your fined fix, and are prepared to firmly apply what you have learned in these pages, here is what you have accomplished: for "treatment" of

1

You

recognize that the Addictive Voice exists separately

from you. 2. You understand the structural model of addiction. 3. You think objectively about your Addictive Voice, recognizing it as your enemy. 4.

You

call

your Addictive Voice "the Beast," describe

with adjectives, and understand

its

it

primitive logic.

You recognize the emotional expressions of the Beast. 6. You sense your advantage over it, and listen 5.

aggressively for its stirrings.

You established a Big Plan for permanent abstinence. 9. You have surpassed the Beast in its struggle to survive. 9. You experience uplifted feelings resulting from your commitment to abstinence. 10. You now go ahead with your life, wiser than before, without gazing back at the past. 7.

183

.

Looking back at your years of addiction will soon seem like another lifetime in which you were a different person.

You were. Just ask anyone who knew you. Now, you a part know what it was that got the better of you then

—

you that is part of being human but not the essence of being human. As a person who no longer drinks or uses drugs, you will save yourself and society a great deal of time, trouble, and money. Enjoy your new freedom from addiction, and enjoy your freedom from the lingering identity that often accompanies recovery. The do's and don'ts listed in the prologue to The Final Fix are still good advice. of

You may

notice occasional discrimination, the kind

that is easily passed off as social prejudice. For example: 1

Others

who know about your

difficulties

may think that They may hide

you are vulnerable to strange influences. liquor from you and apologize to you for inadvertently placing alcoholic beverages within your reach. Tease these

people good-naturedly, and they will probably laugh. 2. If you tell your doctor you quit drinking, he may think you are still in need of "treatment, " because of the strong likelihood of you drinking again. If you cannot correct him, and he/she persists, you may consider getting a new

doctor. 3.

Some

people

may

not like you drunk or sober. This has

nothing to do with your former addiction. That's just the

way life is. 4. Some people may want you

to attend recovery

group

meetings, "to meet others of your own kind." Politely refuse, and seek new relationships based on mutual interests,

mutual

desires,

passions.

184

mutual

love,

and mutual

A note to "treatment" professionals self

as a viable entity in

AVRT

cancels "treatment"

Just as "denial" cancels the the struggle against addiction,

as a viable entity in the struggle against addiction. Even so, you may have valuable contributions to make with addicted people as a source of education on AVRT.

AVRT favors

one having a personal history of addiction, but some without that history have become quite talented in AVRT. They have Like traditional approaches,

shown that they are "educable," and are able to effectively communicate the AVRT format. Most never-addicted professionals, however, have been "ineducable," perseverating on the traditional idea that chemically dependent people are "coping" with other life problems by "escaping into the bottle." Well-trained in particular schools of theory, they are unwilling to surrender their

and theories at the threshold of addiction and enter that world with an open mind. If you are interested in entering the post-treatment era of addiction care, AVRT will require that you augment your personal and professional orientations toward credentials

addictions. There is a desperate need for efficient, cost-

community. Agencies and become licensed Rational Recovery providers may offer AVRT® in a variety of formats including AVRT: The Course. Lay people may become certified in AVRT. The following two AVRT transcripts give the flavor of some typical interaction. The first is an interview with a depressed man who is a habitual relapser. The second is a telephone interview with a depressed woman, "Virginia," suffering an addiction treatment disorder. effective addiction care in every

facilities

that

185

T:

C:

What is your plan I'll

T:

How do you

C:

Good

T: If

for the future

use of alcohol?

never drink again. feel

about that?

saying "never" feels good now,

C: To cope with

my bad

why did you

feelings, like guilt

continue drink so long?

and depression.

Then how does saying, "I'll never drink again," feel good? It will prevent bad feelings. T: But you said you drank to cope with bad feelings. C: No, my drinking caused bad feelings. T: Why did you drink, then? T:

C:

C: T:

I

guess

I

drink to

Do you mean

good.

feel

you

to say

like to

drink?

love to drink.

C:

I

T:

This

is

making more sense, now. You

love to drink

whether you

feel

good or bad. C: Yes.

love to drink.

I

Until here, the client

drinking again

drink because

I

was

I

love the

way

it

makes me

was based on the Beast idea

that since he

was

drinking to

cope with bad feelings, not drinking would alleviate his bad feelings.

unaware

feel.

not aware that the good feeling about never

that never drinking again

is

actually

He was

a terrifying idea. When he was

shown that his bad feelings are independent from his drinking behavior, he became aware of his intense anxiety about quitting for good. His Beast operates in secrecy, conveying bravado about not drinking, while concealing its

moment It is critical about a newly made Big Plan

singular intention to resume drinking at the earliest

that people

who

report

initially

good feelings

recognize that there are also concealed negative feelings

— ambivalence —

about that course of action. T:

C:

So what If

I

T: Is that

C: No.

I

your plan

C: Well,

Why

it

will

cause

use of alcohol?

me more

problems.

should stop drinking.

a plan?

you don't just decide you won't ever drink again. not?

C: That's not the T:

for the future

a plan?

really

T: Is that

T:

is

continue to drink,

How do you

way

it is.

feel right

now?

C: Anxious, uptight T:

Does

it

seem

like I'm trying to get

186

you

to stop

drinking?

C: Sure does. T:

C:

How does It

that feel?

bothers me.

Anxiety and annoyance are highly predictable responses

to

AVRT. The

between exposing the Beast and supportive measures

therapist switches

to

prevent the clients withdrawal Jrom the interview. actually do not care if you continue to drink. I hope you don't end up where you're headed, though. But, isn't it interesting that although you have severe problems caused by your habitual drunkenness, you have no

T:

I

plan to stop C: Well, T:

How

drink

if

you put

else could

when

C: Well, T: Well,

it?

I

it I

that way...

put

it? It's

very plain that you plan to continue to

conditions are right. Isn't that so?

can see how

what

is

it

looks to you, but...

your plan

for the future

use of alcohol?

work very hard in recovery so don't go through more of same problems. don't want to drink any more. I'm fed up with all grief and shame.

C: I'm going to

the the

I

I

T:

So what's your plan

C:

You keep asking the same question. Seems like a relevant question, doesn't

T:

for drinking in the future?

it?

But how do you

feel

about

the question? C: Anxious. T:

You are

feeling

thought

C:

I

T:

It is.

your addiction. Addictions often

my addiction was my and

anxious.

love for alcohol.

In your midbrain, you have

primitive, biologically-driven

feel

is

an

incredible appetite for alcohol.

It's

able to use the English language.

It

shows you pictures in your head, makes plans for more drinking, and influences your entire personality so that you will drink, drink, drink. It will expose you to any adversity in order to get booze and it is quite clever and ruthless in the way it operates. This is your addiction, or your Addictive Voice.

It is

essentially the voice of

a Beast that behaves

animal in the jungle. Beasts have feelings, and right cut off its supply of alcohol.

It

now it

exists only to obtain alcohol,

fears

and

like

you

it

an

will

will

do

it. To the Beast, booze is the equivalent of oxygen. It becomes desperate when the supply is threatened. To demonstrate the point, let's try an experiment. Just play with the idea of never drinking any alcohol for the rest of your life, right now. Close your eyes and think

anything to get

of never drinking again.

How

does that

187

feel?

C: This is bad.

I

bad, depressed.

feel

a familiar feeling? C: Yes. I often end up relapsing when I get that feeling. T: It is possible that your depression is purposeful. Your Beast may be T: Is this

telling

you that

you may C: T:

life is

no good without

alcohol, or that

life is

so rotten that

How about the idea of never drinking again?

as well be dead.

can't think of that.

I

Why?

C:

can't imagine not drinking.

I

T:

Do

C:

It

anyhow.

it

doesn't

T: Like

it's

seem

real.

impossible?

C: Yes. Not realistic. T: I'm hearing

your Beast, loud and

now

is

C:

see. It says, "It can't

T:

I

clear.

The sound of your voice

right

the sound of your Beast of Booze.

be any other way," so I'm powerless

to

change.

Very good. You have just recognized your Addictive Voice. YouVe often

heard

it,

C: No.

I

T: Fine.

but now you are recognizing

it.

probably could stop drinking

if

I

speaking the truth?

decided to do

I

it.

So what's your plan?

You keep asking

C: T:

Is it

that question.

can't

I

answer

it.

hear your Beast saying, "You can't answer that question.

It's

a

remain seated, even though

it

stupid question" C: T:

Um-hmm. How do you

feel?

C: Irritated. T:

What

C: T:

is

your Beast angry about?

don't like these questions. You're messing with

I

What do you

feel like

C: Something else. T:

Your Beast

C:

I

T:

It

is

I'll

think this over.

getting desperate.

It

wants

to run.

feels uptight!

but you are choosing

to get the hell

out of here.

to

Do you

see,

you. That there are two parties to your addiction

keep drinking, and the person who wants C: I'm starting to see.

we

I

head.

feel uptight.

wants you

T:

my

doing?

I

am of two

know. Its tough. But

if

you

will follow the

188

like there

are two of

— the one that wants to

to get better?

minds about

are right now, and decide to put

it's

it.

This

is

a

real struggle.

simple logic of AVRT, like

up with some tough

feelings,

you can

get to

your addiction behind you and

a normal, happy

live

life.

Do you want

goon?

C: (pause) Yes. T:

Your Beast wanted you

C: Yes, T:

it

How

to say, "No."

did.

does that

feel, to

say,

uptight and wants to get the hell

"It feels

out of here? C: Better. Like I'm in control again. T:

So what's your plan?

C: Quit T:

— pretty much forever.

Where

C:

My

T:

You

much" come from?

did "pretty

Beast? got

it

again. This

is

C: That's irrational.

I

What time? Any time I feel

T:

Why not decide now?

C: T:

C: T:

I

I

like drinking.

can't predict the future.

You

can't,

might

How can know I

but why can't you make a plan

for

sure?

for lifetime

abstinence?

fail.

So what?

C:

I'd feel like shit.

T:

How would

C:

forever,"

can make that choice when the time comes.

C:

T:

It plays word games, which means absolutely

very typical of the Beast.

you to say, "pretty much nothing. Look, can you think of never?

like getting

that help?

wouldn't.

It

I'd

probably drink to take away the

guilt.

That's

why

I'd

better not say never. T:

How about deciding to be

a

guiltless

drunk?

C: Impossible. T:

Why

ruin a good buzz by feeling guilty? Don't you have a right to

drink? C:

If

I

some guilt, I'd drink forever. what you've already been doing, drinking

didn't feel

T: Isn't that

now you

all

the time?

And

say, "Never say never."

C: Yeah. That's crazy isn't it? T: If you're going to drink in the future, wouldn't

you be better

guilt?

C:

I

guess. But that's scary.

I'd

be

189

really

out of control.

off without

T:

How would you be out

of control

if

you decided

to

drink endlessly and

guiltlessly?

C: This is strange to think this way. Obviously,

T:

I

would be

in control

if

I

on puipose. But don't you always drink on purpose? Can you accidentally drink?

did

it

C:

Now

T:

So what sense does

see

I

Drinking

it.

it

is

always a choice.

make

to feel guilty

about something you do by

choice?

C:

No

T:

Now, picture yourself as a

sense. guiltless

drunk.

C: This is weird.

T:How? C:

It

feels stupid. Like

T: There.

You

I

have better things

got that part. Guilt

is

to

do than drink.

part of your addiction. Drinking

is

simply stupid. C:

So I'm not

T:

Does acting stupidly make you a stupid person?

sick. I'm stupid.

C: Not really. Feeling stupid is the T:

C: Without the guilt, T:

same as

feeling guilty.

Right Now, what's your plan?

How does

it

I

can at

least think

about never drinking again.

feel?

C: Sad. T:

What do you

feel like

doing?

C: Crying, (tears well up) T:

Where are the

tears

C: (Snaps out of it) Is T:

How do you

C: Pissed at like

T:

coming from?

my

Beast crying? That's

it It's

upset and crying!

feel?

it.

That fucker has practically ruined

a baby when

What do you

I

threaten to stop

feel like

it's

my

life.

Now it's

crying

alcohol.

doing?

C: Killing it

Sounds reasonable, since it is a deadly enemy. How can you Cut off all the booze, forever. T: Sounds like a plan, doesn't it? C: This is what you mean by a Big Plan? T: You are catching on beautifully. What's your plan? T:

C:

C: T:

I

will

never drink again.

How do you know?

190

kill it?

C:

don't know, but

I

whatever T:

C:

know what

I

what my Beast

recognize

is.

required to defeat

is

I'm dealing with now,

recognize

I

its feelings,

and

can

I

and I'm ready

to

do

(Looks puzzled.)

it.

How do youfeel? can't express

I

for the first

time

it. I

Something

is

changed inside me, and

know what's going on

deep, like there's real hope for me.

my

in

I

it

feel

seems that something

I'm in control but not in

feel like

I

head.

control. I'm getting goose pimples.

a very important breakthrough, and it is understandable that you have these feelings. AVRT affects many others the same way, and now you're having some good feelings for a change. Trust yourfeelings. know what I'm crying about. C: I could cry. (tears). am crying. T: This is

I

I

T:

What

are your tears saying?

C: Like I'm getting

my

life

am winning.

It's

like I'm getting

that

I

be when

T:

believed in myself.

I

why

That's

back.

I'm crying.

both

feel

good about

a

It's

my

self

relief,

I

be able

will

I

used

to

a release from something.

Congratulations on your Big Plan. Let's

feel.

it

CThis emotional display

is

the abstinence cxxnmitment effect (ACE),

experience in AVRT. The ACE experience signifies progress, often

breakthrough. The

to win, no,

back, the person

good. Very good.

It's

can understand how you

I

can see that

I

ACE experience

is

a

a common significant

not to be interpreted as false hope,

flight into health " or superficial confidence

because

it

is

a pivotal experience

forfuture AVRT. (Next session)

T:

How are you

C: Lots of Beast activity.

It's

doing with your Big Plan?

nearly constant, since

a few days ago. The "never" part C:

know

I

that

and by then T:

Then

it'll

I

probably

I'll

be

can go

still

doesn't

fit

I

made my Big Plan

very well.

for at least three years. Easily. That's

know

for

sure that abstinence

is

the

my

way

goal,

to go.

easier, right?

C: Yes. T:

What happened

C: Three years live

to "never"?

is like forever.

I

think, "Three years,

no drinking.

I

can

with that."

T:

Now, what happens

C:

"It

in

my

can

live

if

you add a

with that!" Good

"t" to "I"?

grief]

head, finding ways to change

that

if

that

I

I

This thing

my

Big Plan. But

don't drink for three years using

can keep abstaining

if it all

191

is clever. It

AVRT,

works out OK?

it'll

keeps working

isn't it

reasonable

be pretty obvious

Your Beast

T:

two

"ifs"

having a heyday, and

is

in one sentence,

"If"

I

it's

working overtime.

go for three years, and "if

OK. You are dealing with a ruthless opponent, and

function of

wants.

it

known

in the neocortex.

neocortex, does not

A

dog, for example, with

Beast, a plan that allows the possibility of any alcohol ever,

can

with that." The Beast

feels

plan that leaves the door open a tiny

and

knell for the Beast,

C:

But there

isn't

tiny

it is

any way

fully

you

is

a plan

for

means, Three

is like forever," really

better than never." That's why, as

is infinitely

live

its

around planning tomorrow afternoon. To your

sit

alcohol at any time. "Three years

years

works out

use any warped

to getting

only

is

will

just heard

It knows the game very well, and it is quite what it wants. Remember that the Beast is a the midbrain, and therefore has no understanding of time.

what

logic to get

accustomed

Time

it

I

it all

said,

"The Beast

much more comfortable with any crack. A Big Plan sounds the death

aware of that.

to predict

what

I

will

do when

I

get depressed.

know myself well enough to know that when everything is hopeless, and can hardly get up in the morning, I may end up drinking. T: You mentioned this earlier. Why do you drink when you're depressed? I

I

C:

To

T:

Can you

To

feel better.

get rid of those terrible feelings.

how you drink

illustrate

about a time you drank

The

to get rid of

depression? Tell

me

to get rid of depression.

a good example, when

I relapsed and ended up here. an apartment, and had been sober for fourteen months. I felt the depression coming on a month before, and it kept getting worse. I lost my job for being late in the mornings, and then my money got low, and my friends didn't want to be around me, nor I around them. I would lay in my room, staring at the TV day after day, and the place got like a pig pen with dishes and garbage all over. I felt so

C: I

last time is

was out

of work, living in

no energy,

low, depressed,

think about

Sounds

how

hopeless

like

life

I

weighed a thousand pounds.

really

is,

how futile. But I

I

would

refused to drink.

you were thinking of drinking. would think about running down to the liquor store and getting a bottle and downing it in the parking lot. I knew I would feel

T:

like

C: Sometimes. Yes,

better, T:

I

but only temporarily.

Think back

carefully,

and see

if

you can

recall

how you

felt

at those

times you were thinking of drinking. C: Depressed.

drinking in the

I

knew first

I

shouldn't drink, that

place,

my

problems are caused by

and drinking would only make things worse.

192

me

when you would decide not to drink, you would feel depressed. But I'm asking how you felt at the moment you actually were considering going down to the liquor store and downing a bottle of booze in the parking lot. What feeling did you have when you

T: So,

you are

telling

that

thought about actually drinking?

One

C: Nothing except depression.

toward the door, but then going to do that, and

The Beast operates

I

laid

time

stopped myself.

I

up and started thought, "No way am I

actually got

I

I

back down, more depressed than

and our

in secrecy,

subject

is

experienced only depressive feelings prior to drinking, and that

for drinking

was

to

depressed. You

felt

pounds. What happened

headed

feet,

C: (pause)

Now

to

he

expose the fact

dependent people drink simply because they love

apartment, and

T:

(1)

his reason

to drink.

backtrack for a second. You had isolated yourself in your

T: Let's

your

(2)

medicate his depression. Addictive Voice Recognition

Technique often requires persistent, patient questioning that alcohol

before.

convinced that

I

felt like

you weighed a thousand

heavy feeling when you got

to the fatigued,

to

for the liquor store?

guess

faded.

it

think very carefully.

Do you remember

thinking about getting

up

from your bed before you actually got up? C: Yes.

was thinking about the

I

T:

C:

How did you Oh,

Actually, T:

see.

I

felt

I

Where

is

feel inside, I

a

guess little

liquor store

my wallet was, and

thinking about where

I

I

and the vodka

got

up

to find

bottle.

I

was

it.

as you got up to look for your wallet? felt

better.

I

forgot

about being depressed.

excited, (smiles)

that smile

coming from?

C: (stops smiling) Beast?

asking me? would also wager that you were smiling as you got up from your bed. Where did your depression go? C: Hmm. I see what you mean. For that moment, I didn't really feel depressed. But then decided I wouldn't drink.

T: You're

I

I

how did you feel? C: It all came back, only worse. had to lay down again. T: Remember this, that you felt much better walking toward the door than you did when you were walking back to the bed. Remember that

T.

Then,

I

you weren't depressed the C:

I

felt

thoughts. fast

—

hopeless. I

I

entire time prior to drinking.

thought

I

may

thought about jumping into the

no chance

to escape.

But I'm

193

Then what? had suicidal

as well be dead. river,

I

where the water's

terrified of water.

So

I

real

thought

about shooting myself. And then

remembered there is a gun shop a few I thought about getting a gun and blowing my brains out. I thought about this real seriously. And for a while I thought I would really go ahead and do it. Get rid of myself once doors from the liquor store.

and

for all.

I

kept thinking,

you actually

C: (laughs) T:

I

sucks. Life really sucks. Get

"Life

You may as well be

with. Kill yourself. T: So, did

I

And

kill

it

over

dead."

yourself?

guess not.

So what did you do instead of killing yourself?

went ahead and got up again and went

and got and took the rest home and drank the rest of the evening. And I stayed drunk for five weeks, working up from a pint to a liter and a half of vodka a day. I finally fell on the steps to my apartment, passed out, and the ambulance took me to the hospital, and then I came here. T: Back up a little. Do you remember getting up the second time? Did you still feel depressed? C: I felt numb, more than depressed. I knew if I didn't drink, I would C:

I

the bottle of vodka, drank

kill

T:

some

to the liquor store

in the parking

lot,

myself.

Some Beast you've

got.

C: This is Beast? T:

Pure Beast.

C: Hey,

I

It

was

saying, "Drink or die. Get booze or

T: In effect,

that

was

precisely the message.

medicating depression: kill

"Life is

Use a gun, strangle

yourself.

who

think they are

yourself, or something.

There's something else you can do that will help

and that

you."

no good. You may as well be dead. Go

a minute. That's so messy and scary. You don't

yourself.

kill

But here's what you

probably did hear, just as thousands of others

ahead

I'll

didn't hear that.

really

have

But wait

to

do that

you with your depression,

is to have a little drinky-poo. That is far better than So drink up. It's better than being dead."

killing

C That fits me to a tee. How long have you been doing this? :

T:

C: For

about eight years.

I

saw a

antidepressants three years ago. The

psychiatrist pills

who

don't help, so

started I

me on

drink instead.

You are telling me you drink to relieve depression. how you decided to relapse this time around, and find out if it is really true that you drink to relieve depression. You went back to bed after deciding you wouldn't drink, and you felt much more

T:

There

Now,

it

is

lets get

again.

back

to

194

You heard your Beast telling you that you may as well be dead, and it even suggested ways for you to kill yourself. Then what? depressed.

C:

I

got up, and...

As you got up, how did you feel? Think back carefully. was thinking more C: Well, didn't feel too heavy to get up. I guess about drinking than being depressed. But was still very depressed and

T:

I

I

I

scared. T:

suicidal.

C:

mean,

I

I

was

suicidal at that point.

Just because you are thinking of suicide doesn't mean you are

I

got

Then what

my

you do? and keys, and drove

did

wallet

and bought the

to the store,

bottle of vodka. T:

Where was the

C:

On

T:

So you glanced around and spotted

you

C:

you wanted?

it.

When you

spotted

it,

how

did

feel?

C: Relieved. Help T:

bottle

the shelf directly behind the cashier.

is

at hand.

What happened to your depression? knew was depressed enough to I

I

kill

myself,

and

I

was

glad to see

the bottle. T:

You

are saying

C: Yes, but as

I

you left

felt

the store,

what I was doing was T:

I

when you saw

felt really

bad. Guilty, because

So now your depression centered around what a

C: Well,

I

the bottle. I

knew

stupid.

instead of how hopeless

T:

depressed

less

life is.

dummy

you are

Right?

guess.

So your Beast

shifted gears as you left the store. Instead of a victim you became a stupid shit. Then what happened? I got in the car, and drank. Do you remember opening the bottle?

of

the cosmos, C: T:

C: No. (pause) Yes.

It

was

still

neck and unscrewed the cap

and T:

fell

to

my

all in

C:

twisted the bag around the

one motion.

A piece

of the bag tore off

Then, what did you think?

see

I

you

and then a

sly smile at the

smiling.

C: (Avoids eye contact, smile broadens.) T:

I

lap.

C: Cheers, (pause, T:

in the bag.

I

I

think you smiled just before you drank. don't remember.

195

corner of the

lips)

T:

I

think you

right

now is

C: (pause) T:

This

is

smiling just before taking the

felt like

the

same

feeling

first sip.

you had when you opened the

Your smiling

bottle.

Right?

Maybe. important for you to know. This

is

your chance

to recognize

your Beast. Maybe? C:

OK.

T:

Now, here

I

did smile. is

I

thought, "Cheers," and

the key question.

I

felt really

What happened

to

excited.

your depression?

I see what you're driving at My depression went out the window. Your depression also went out the window at least twice back, when your Beast got up to go to the store. Your depression faded when your

C:

T:

and when your Beast twisted the cap off. It also after it told you may as well kill yourself. C: Some Beast I've got. This is weird, I mean, really crazy. T: The Beast plays by no rules, and will use any warped logic to get alcohol in your blood. Now, let me ask you again, and think this thing through. Do you drink to relieve depression? C: No. I don't. I get depressed to justify drinking. By the time I take the Beast spotted the

bottle,

said, "Cheers," only

drink,

my

This

amazing,

is

minutes

depression

now

is entirely

that

I

gone.

I

drink because

I

love to drink.

think of it.

You have an addicto-depressive disorder that is not a true depressive Large numbers of addicted people who are not mentally ill are called "dually diagnosed" and given pills for depression. But they drink against advice because the Beast knows that alcohol isn't to treat

T:

illness.

depression, but to get pleasure.

depression

is

they find that

When

people discover that their

only a well-worn path to the bottle and it is

hard

make a Big

to take their depression seriously.

Plan,

AVRT can

ruin

your depression by removing the alcohol payoff for the Beast. Supposing you had a Big Plan, and iknew that you would never drink again. C:

Wow. That's a tough one. Go ahead and experiment with

this idea. See how it JeeLs. The Beast has no conception or perception of time, and only understands the

T:

concepts of "now" and "never." "No," only

much

later,

and

"later"

means, "Any time

means I

"later,"

feel like it"

no matter how The Beast wUl

threaten a life of hell while promising heaven on earth. In the addictodepressive disorder, the Beast resists a Big Plan by promising hellish depression under which one must yield to escape death by suicide. Therefore,

making a Big Plan arouses fears akin to facing imminent death. The fear of its own death of course, is the Beast's great fear, rather than the death of

196

the person. This insight

a powerful dissociative technique

is

may

that

produce marked therapeutic gains. C: (pause) This

scary.

is

Do you want

T:

How do know

I

I

won't

kill

myself?

to kill yourself?

C: No.

So a better question might be, "How long are you

T:

willing to feel intense

depression before you cave in and drink?"

my

C: Well, T: Is

depression

is

pretty bad.

intolerable?

it

C: Well, no. T: So,

how long are you

willing to tolerate

C: (pause, anxiety-laden body language) T:

How does

it

to

smoke out your Beast?

As long as

it

takes,

C: Good. (He

becomes

tearful, cries for

a minute or

so.)

Although strong emotions often accompany the insights the Beast, this

with

not always so. Others

is

much less

clinical

guess.

I

that feel?

workings of

into the

may work through

to

a solid Big Ran

emotional turmoil. But these emotional experiences are clear

signs to watch for in AVRT.

know

You are defeating the greatest enemy you will ever face. It has ruined most of what you love, and won't give up until you're dead. But now you've got it's number, and you are on top of your addiction. You have seen the enemy, how it operates, and you recognize its ruthlessness, its persistence, its cleverness, and its secretive ness. But you've also seen that your Beast is weaker than you, less intelligent, and you understand that it must appeal to you to get what it wants. When it is exposed it is destroyed, and it collapses under a Big Plan. C: This thing this Beast has been working me like that for years. Now I know what's going on in my head and why I've continued to relapse. I really think it's over, coming to a rapid end. won't be drinking any more, no matter how I feel. And just knowing that is a good

T:

I

it

feels good.

—

—

I

feeling in itself,

a

This

time

I

is

can

the

first

feeling that replaces I've felt like

my

depression. This

I'm really in recovery

is

good

and getting

stuff.

better.

feel it all over.

The preceding interview

is

a composite drawn from many

individuals

demonstrating a wide variety of Beast strategies. The following telephone interview

is

typical of the

office of Rational

one

call

thousands of calls that have come

Recovery.

received from

It is

also

is

a depressed woman who was

addiction treatment disorder.

197

in to the central

a composite, but draws

heavily from

suffering

from an

Yes, Virginia, "I

There

is

a Cure for Alcoholism

just got out of a hospital rehab program.

any good," she said.

So

I

"I

"Why did you go

asked,

I

hate living

my

been in two other rehabs in the support meetings, but

So

I

didn't do

me

I

said.

life

"I

bad and

got real

I

needed

but nothing works.

this way,

last three years,

and

I've

been

to

a

I've

lot of

always go back to drinking."

asked the question. "So, what's your plan this time?"

"That's I

it

into the program?"

"Because I'm an alcoholic," she help drying out.

guess

I

only stayed sober for ten days."

why

I'm calling you now.

pressed a

little.

"What

I

I

am

need

still

asking

help,"

is

she answered.

what your plans

are,

concerning the future use of alcohol."

She was perplexed. "Plan?" "Yes, Virginia,"

responded. "What

I

addiction to alcohol?

continue drinking?" Finally,

So,

drinking that

is

"Is

is

your plan with regard

to stop drinking, or

to

your

do you plan

to

waited as her wheels turned.

she answered,

asked,

I

I

Do you plan "I

don't have a plan, one

way

or the other."

there anything about not having a plan to stop

interesting to you?"

what you mean," she said. draw out a rather bizarre picture. "What I mean, Virginia, is that you have been in three expensive hospital rehabs in the last three years, and you say you hate living in the chains of addiction. But when I ask what your plan is for the future use of alcohol, you come up blank. Isn't this a little strange?" Sounding a little annoyed, she said, "Well, if I knew that I wasn't going to drink any more, then I wouldn't be calling you now, would I?" Pressing further, I said, "Of course not, and that is precisely why I have asked you this rather blunt question. You have a serious addiction that you say is ruining your life. And you placed this call to find a way to end it. Isn't this so?" "Yes," she said, "this is so. But you are making is sound like I can just wish this problem away, and go on as if I weren't an alcoholic." I continued, "What did you learn last month during your last "I'm not sure

I

proceeded

to

hospital rehab?"

"Learn?" she asked, puzzled. recover from

my

go to meetings for the rest of recovery.

I

"I

alcoholism because

my

learned that

it is

life,

a chronic

and relapse

can spot signs of relapse by looking

198

for

I

will

illness. is

never really I

will

have

to

a normal part of

feedback from others.

"

If

I

"

don't go to meetings,

have a

lot to

I

am

do with getting

probably in the process of relapse.

my

higher power together, and

I

still

I

have trouble

the powerless step. I still have some trouble with some problems with my personal inventory that I will have to work out. I have no serenity, and my spiritual life is down. look very far ahead, and that's what scares Life seems impossible when me. There, is that what you mean by what I learned?" I leveled, "Yes. You just told me that you have no plan to recover from alcoholism. You plan to flounder with your addiction for years to come, experimenting with higher power ideas, playing games with the

with step one, which that,

and

there's

is

still

I

powerless idea, trying to prove to yourself that you're a decent person,

and going you plan

A

to

meetings that bore you

to relapse

any time you

And, very importantly, Virginia,

stiff.

feel like

it.

long silence ensued. Finally, she quietly said, "That

correct.

And

"And

I

I

feel like killing

myself when

I

is

perfectly

think of it."

suppose youVe been thinking of getting

rid of yourself for quite

awhile." "Yes,"

she whispered.

you do something else instead. What do you do each and every time you think of killing yourself because of the endlessness of "But, obviously,

your drinking problem?" "I

get drunk."

"And you have no plan

to stop drinking. Isn't this strange, Virginia?

Did anyone in the hospital suggest that you stop drinking alcohol?" "Yes,

the pharmacist said

I

shouldn't mix alcohol with

my

antidepressants.

"So at least someone besides alcohol. for

me

thinks you can choose to not drink

But what do you think? Can you make a plan

to stop drinking,

your own good?"

Annoyed once again, she

said, "It's not realistic for

me

won't drink any more. This thing has destroyed others in

my

father,

to just

my

say

family

I

—

and two brothers. It is a disease that runs in the family, and on with me. You don't seem to understand.

that's part of what's going

Have you ever been addicted "Yes, booze, for

many

to

anything?"

years.

And

I

also used to believe the

same

nonsense that youVe been telling me for the last few minutes. I thought I had some disease that was making me drink, and that I was somehow destined to drink forever. But

I

learned better and got better by refusing

199

any further use of alcohol. Yes, Virginia, there is a cure for alcoholism, and it's as old as the hills." "A cure? You said a cure for the disease of alcoholism? There isn't any cure

for

only arrest "Well,

The

she asserted.

it,"

it.

Isn't the

you think that

if

perhaps. But what would your "I

we can

'cure'

be

life

means you can keep

like if you

drinking,

never drank again?"

can't think of that," she said.

"Won't,"

corrected. "You won't, because of

I

your plan to drink take a peek. What would you be doing

forever.

But go ahead,

today

you hadn't been drinking

if

"I

counselors at the hospital say

idea of a cure dangerous thinking?"

Virginia,

for the last

few years?"

would be in business as a graphics designer in Europe, where

my

He would have me, but not in this condition." She recounted how her fiance finally gave up on their relationship because of ex-boyfriend

lives.

her repeated relapses.

an outcome of your drinking, and you can see that your future, likewise, would have a much better outcome if you stop drinking. But, do you want anything better than what's going on now?" "So today

"That's

"Then,

She

is

just

why called." how about making a plan I

hesitated,

"I

can't.

"Very good, Virginia,"

what we do addiction.

alcohol. This is

your

life,

I

to

never drink again?"

makes me said.

feel too

anxious.

I

just can't."

"You are actually doing very well at

in Rational Recovery. Right now,

And you

people have.

It

you are feeling your

are having conflicting thoughts about the use of

your ambivalence about drinking, something

On one

hand, you would

like to stop

but on the other hand, you are

That part of you wants

to

all

addicted

drinking and get on with

terrified of giving

up

alcohol.

drink forever."

was understanding something for the first time, something extremely important. "Yesl You've hit it on the head again! At one level, do want to flounder with this addiction forever, playing recovery games and relapsing from time to time, but I also want to get this behind me and get on with my life. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Right now, I have a strong desire to quit drinking for good. But I'm afraid to feel it too much, denying that my may be in denial disease is chronic and incurable and progressive. If I relapse again, my hopes will be dashed, and I'll be more depressed than ever. But I do feel both ways. And do want to get better. Right now!" Virginia sensed she

I

I

I

200

—

Most people who

Rational Recovery are facing the

call

same

dilemmas, and they are usually excited at the prospect of an actual cure

from the ravages of addiction. So I made her an offer she would not likely refuse. "OK, you're on. If you want to kick your addiction for good,

game

here's the

plan. Ready?"

"OK, go ahead."

"From here on

in, let's

say that you plan to never drink again.

Is

that agreeable?" "I'm

open

But

"Fine.

do

to that."

there's this voice in

doomed

that you're

it,

"You got that "So

let's

to

a

life

your head, right? And

it

says you can't

of drinking."

right."

just call that voice your Addictive Voice.

It is

the thinking

you do that argues incessantly for more drinking, and tells you how impossible it is for you to quit drinking for good. Get it?" "Like there are two of me?" "No. There is only one of you, and you plan to never drink again. But you have ideas and thoughts and images of drinking that you can spot and recognize. Those thoughts are yours, for sure, but they aren't you." "Oh, that voicel You mean the one that is telling me right now to have that

a drink once we hang up?"

You are now practicing what we call Addictive Voice Recognition Technique, and only after about ten minutes of talking about it. In Rational Recovery we call Addictive Voice "You're doing

Virginia!

it,

Recognition Technique, "AVRT," for short, and the letters almost spell out the word, 'avert.'

You can completely

relatively short period of

recover from yoour addiction in a

time by doing what you just did. Now,

what you think of AVRT so far." She paused, then said, "Well, I can see it gives me some some of the time, but doubt that I can always do that."

tell

me

control,

I

"Let

me

suggest, Virginia,"

I

said, "that

your Addictive Voice once again, but you "I

you may just have heard

failed to recognize

it."

No one's perfect, but I can probably use AVRT But I doubt that I can always resist the desire

to

'AVRT

is

don't think so.

do better at times.

to

drink." "I

cute,

hear your Addictive Voice right now, Virginia.

but

I

will still

drink any old time

I

feel like

it.'

It's

thinking leaves the door wide open to drinking any time

201

saying,

Do you you

see

how your

feel like it?"

"Now call

it,

is

that you point

a

it

out, yes,

I

do

This Addictive Voice, as you

see.

real, uh..."

We

"Beast.

but booze.

call

the Beast, because

it

doesn't care about

It

your

relationship with

fiance,

it

doesn't care about anything

you or anything you

value, including

your

your career, your health, or anything at

all.

you that life is so rotten that you may as well commit suicide, gambling that you will drink instead of going to the trouble of killing yourself. Its main weakness, is that it is easily identified by what it wants, and once it is recognized, it is defeated. Our definition of the Addictive Voice, or the Beast, is, 'Any thinking that supports any use of ever.' That's how I'm able to identify your Addictive Voice here alcohol on the phone. It's easy for me to hear your Beast, and with a little It will

even

tell

—

practice,

it

will

be just as easy

Like others

who

for you."

learn about

very good feelings. "This gives

AVRT.

It's

a

feeling of

can do something mean, with

all

hope

I

feeling to learn

haven't had for years.

to help myself.

the treatment

AVRT, Virginia responded with some

me such a good

Why

I've had...

haven't

I

about

actually feel like

/

heard of this before?

I

Why isn't

I

this information given

in regular treatment programs?" I

told her, "Things are

programs.

Many

changing very rapidly in addiction care

are offering Rational Recovery by name. But America

is

going through a very bad time over addictions because the 12-step

program of AA

is

being presented to the public through virtually every

treatment program in the nation, as a universal program. Although

AA

many who choose it and appreciate its good points, it probably harms even more people who are not there by choice. They, just like you, find its message of disease and powerlessness not only useless, but

helps

actually harmful. And, as in your case, many people get caught in the jaws of defeatism when they find the 12-step program contrary to their

values or unsuited to their needs." Virginia then asked, "You

know what

this

means?"

"What?" "This "I'll

meanc

"It's like

You

I'm not crazy."

bet that feels good."

a great weight has been

lifted,"

Virginia said.

can't imagine."

"Oh, yes

I

can.

I

was

there, too. 'Bye now."

"Good -by, and thanks

for the start

202

on AVRT. (Hang up)

"I

have hope.

Appendix A

How To Help An Addicted Family Member no social institution occupies a higher status than the home. Home is the last defense against the harshness of life and it is afforded a degree of In free countries,

protection in law that reflects the family

home

is

unhappiness, but

also the site of

it

true that

its sanctity. It is

human

and

struggles

stands, nevertheless, as a fortress of

freedom, privacy, and self-determination.

Addictions start in the home, and often grow into a family horror. Addicted people often struggle and suffer

home to home where addiction may seems that the home is a haven for

with their families in the home, and then leave drink alone, or to start another continue. Sometimes

it

must be invaded by public agencies for the protection of its members. Our society indoctrinates all of us with the belief that addiction has causes beyond an addiction that

use drugs. America describes its addicted masses as congenital defectives who cannot act wisely and competently in the presence of intoxicating individual's desire to drink or

substances, but then identifies those same individuals as

products of dysfunctional families, as victims of physical

and sexual abuse, and as criminals by virtue of

their

possession of the intoxicant.

The family takes a living

direct hit in

many

ways.

It's

with a drunk. Then, the labeling starts.

tough If

the

then someone must be enabling that person to drink. That, of course, would be rather sick, so "alcoholic" drinks,

203

now

the "enabler"

is

also viewed as "sick" with a disease

called "codependency." Other family

members

are cast in

the roles of "scapegoats," "clowns," "peacemakers," and "people pleasers," to

name

just a few.

You never know

if

you are one until you are called one. Then if you disagree, you are really sick, "in denial." Whatever your hopes are to help yourself, to help an addicted family member, or to help the rest of the family, you had better shed all labels and stop applying them to others, including your addicted loved one. The one label in the above paragraph that may be most difficult to shed is that of "enabler" because it describes a kind of behavior rather than a hypothetical disease. The following section offers you a way to get your bearings as you undertake a most difficult task: helping an addicted family member. Enabler or sucker? That Is the question! "Enable," the opposite of "prohibit," is a key concept in addictions theory, as well as in social policies that are

reminiscent of the Prohibition Era. The expression, "enabler," entered the vocabularies of professional people

about twenty-five or thirty years ago, when the 12-step recovery

movement was

in its infancy. Since then, the

term, "enabler" has evolved to symbolize the inverted logic of current addiction care. Originally,

and

for

many years,

was a clinical expression used to describe someone who actively or passively made it possible for an addicted person to drink or use drugs. Many people, for "enabler,"

example, believe that bartenders or hosts of parties where alcoholic beverages are dispensed are not only responsible for the

amount the patrons

or guests drink, but also for

any harm or damage that results from their subsequent drunken behavior. Bartenders who allow heavy drinkers to run up tabs, a policeman who smells alcohol on a driver 204

but issues only a verbal warning, a wealthy uncle who sends regular checks to his drunken, unemployed nephew, bosses who wink at three-martini lunches, and spouses who passively tolerate endless drinking are thought of as "enablers"

who

on

somehow responsible for the behavior of who are powerless to act more responsibly

are

diseased people their own.

"Enabler" can be a helpful term for people discussing

the dynamics of addiction and recovery, but in recent

years

it

has begun

to obscure basic questions of personal

and

to

person, cutting off

all

convey the idea that chemically dependent people, because of a mysterious disease process, are powerless over their behavior and therefore dependent on others to manage their lives. This misunderstanding has caused unnecessary grief among family members who are counseled that they have been an active part, even a cause, of the problem all along, and are now contributing to the relative's addiction by not taking some strong, prescribed course of action, such as abandoning the responsibility

financial or other support, forcing

the person into a "treatment" program, or otherwise taking action designed to coerce the "addict" into shaping up.

Family members often face a serious burden of guilt based on the notion that they are partly responsible for the problem. Then, with the self-label, "enabler," they face a

dilemma

of being advised to take

some strong

action that

Tough love," it action may get good

goes against intuition or better judgment. is called,

and tough

results for some,

it

Many who remain

it is.

may

While strong

aggravate the problem for others.

"enablers" by failing strong action often

experience feelings of guilt and self-doubt. Because they do love their addicted ones, they play a

more

conservative,

waiting game, hoping that other influences will

205

come

into

play,

which

will

cause them to pull out of the downward

spiral.

The addicted family member may pick up on this pernicious concept and perceive that anyone who doesn't crack a whip on them must be "an enabler." One man who had relapsed stated he was angry at certain people who didn't do anything to deter him when he appeared for work intoxicated in a disheveled state. He sincerely believed that

somehow

others are

who

obligated to help or deter "alcoholics"

are in the early stages of relapse

and that

if

they

fail

who share They knew I was an

in this very important duty they are "enablers" in the responsibility for the downfall.

They should have

stopped me, but instead, they enabled me." He later admitted that he knew they knew he was drinking, and that he had continued to drink because they didn't say anything. Some elementary alcoholic,"

he

AVRT would There

is

said.

have probably helped here. a cure for the skewed logic of enablement. Let

us consider the experience of a distraught family member, Marge, who is married to an alcohol-dependent man named Bill. Bill drinks dairy and is unable to keep a job for longer than six months. He frequently ends up in jail, and when Marge invariably bails him out, he soon returns to his usual verbal harangues and physical abuse. She struggles with a full time job in order to pay the rent and meet the immediate needs of their two young children, but a good part of her earnings is spent on beer for Bill. In public, Marge apologizes for Bill's rudeness, and she even contacts his employers to tell them he has been called out of town when he is only suffering another hangover. When asked why she puts up with Bill's craziness, she explains that she loves Bill and hopes he will stop drinking so the family can remain intact. 206

It

would be

who

alcoholic

tempting to conclude that is

pretty sick

codependent, enabling Marge

is

and that

an

Bill is

long-suffering,

keeping him that way.

It is

Marge faces some serious problems with regard to family finances and the care of the children, and Bill is certainly behaving deplorably and taking advantage of Marge's good nature. But is she enabling him to drink? Is she really participating in his addiction and perpetuating his preposterous drunken behavior? Is Marge keeping him sick by not giving him the boot? Let's look at the situation from Bill's viewpoint. Bill loves to drink. In essence, he is getting a free ride and is true that

shirking his responsibilities. In the fog of his addiction he is all

unappreciated, taken advantage of by society, and after

he goes through, Marge complains about the only

solace he knows, drinking beer. Soon, he family, a job,

now he Marge

is

is

may be

and possibly even a place

able to maintain his addiction.

real

without a

to stay.

But

He knows

for

that

unlikely to leave without notice, so he drinks to

his heart's content. replies that

When

smooth things

she complains, he makes up over.

Because she loves him

and fears losing him, she goes along with it all. Now, let's tell Marge she's an enabler. Tou mean I'm contributing to his problems? Oh, dear. I had no idea. What can I do to make up for it?" she responds.

"You can't change him, Marge, so you had better start withdrawing from him. You've got to let him sink or swim.

Make a plan for yourself and the kids, because he's getting You owe it to him to stop enabling his addiction." "But I don't want to withdraw from him. I still love him, and I will stick with him until he gets better," says

worse.

Marge.

207

him to worse and

"That's very codependent, Marge. You're loving

death. Unless you stop enabling him, he'll get

up to you." Tin not going to

die. It's

leave him, but

now

I

feel

awful that

I'm causing his problems," says Marge.

has been eavesdropping and he's a little tipsy. "Hey, good girl," he says. "Stick with me, and you won't regret it, honey. Now, where did you put the money? It's time for me to go on a beer run. I'll stop by the Old Log Inn, so call me there if something comes up." There comes a time when reality sinks in, when people But

let's

say

Bill

own better interests. This could be our hypothetical, but typical, Marge. She could react in a different way, one more in tune with start acting in their

such a time

reality,

and long overdue.

"Listen,

and

I

for

dammit!

also don't

I

know

don't if

I'm

know an

if

you're sick or stupid,

enabler, a codependent, or

just a plain, old-fashioned sucker.

But I feel

like

a sucker,

buddy, and I'm not going to put up with your taking advantage of me any longer. If you walk out that door with even one cent from my purse, you'll find the door locked when you get back. And if you want to keep drinking yourself to death, you can do it in a city park. Now, shape up, or ship out. I love you a whole lot, but if you do leave, I'll get over it." Would Bill back off and stop drinking? Who knows? It is

clear that there is

more

dignity for Bill in being stupid

than in being sick, because he can do something to correct the former problem. Until Marge spoke out. Bill wasn't a victim of anything except his own stupidity and possibly of his immaturity. He was running a racket on his wife, playing her for a sucker, and getting away with it. If he doesn't change he will lose his relationship with a decent,

208

woman. And Marge

undoubtedly find more dignity in viewing herself as a sucker than an enabler, because she decided to take care of herself instead of trying to help him with his hypothetical disease. She finally loving

will

learned the limits of her forbearance.

When we

hear, "Alcoholism is a family disease," or,

"The whole family needs outside help," or, "(S)he is an enabler," we are hearing a skewed logic that systematically absolves addicted people of responsibility for acquiring,

maintaining, or recovering from their addictions, and shifts

responsibility onto those associated with the

addicted person.

Some

that scantily-clad

women and pornography

(2)

notable parallels are

windows without bars enable

Replacing the

sterile, clinical

burglars,

(1)

the idea

enable rapists, (3)

prohibition.

expression, "enabler," with

term "sucker," re-frames the dynamics of relationships affected by substance abuse,

the earthy, clarifies

tell-it-like-it-is

what

is really

going on, and, in

suggests appropriate action by

all

many

cases,

involved parties.

Getting started in home-based recovery

Study the discussion

of the illusions in the recovery

Grasp the difference between a chemically dependent person and an addicted person. If your loved one is simply chemically dependent and intends to remain that way, then there is little that you can do to help. Don't think for a minute that he or she is "in denial," blissfully unaware of what he/she is doing, and unaware of the consequences of drinking or drugging. One may say that your loved one is "all Beast" in the sense that the Addictive Voice has embraced his/her sense of self. But it doesn't change anything for you to recognize hall of mirrors in

someone

Chapter

1

.

else's Addictive Voice. "Addiction" exists in the

presence of one's

own

desire to stop using the substance,

209

not a family member's desire that he or she stop it. It is only when your loved one recognizes the Addictive Voice that change for the better

When

you've given

may occur. some thought

to

your

role in

helping your addicted loved one, you may feel more confident in moving ahead. Just as addiction begins and

home, so does recovery. Every family has an identity in the way it seeks the American promise of "life, liberty and pursuit of happiness." Every family is the product of an earlier family and has within itself a unique capacity to define its purpose, to seek its goals, and to

thrives in the

cope with adversity.

When

addiction threatens the family,

coping mechanisms emerge that are based on the

human

happiness and the wisdom of previous generations. These may be innocent and ineffective in desire

for

show the direction for future growth. For example, the most common responses to the

themselves, but they

awareness of increased alcohol dependence are statements such as, "I will cut back, 111 drink less, I will only drink at parties, or on weekends. I will quit drinking hard stuff and only drink beer."

It is

true that

many

people

who come

to

the attention of professionals are unsuccessful in their

attempts to drink moderately and responsibly, but those efforts reflect

an awareness

of a problem, a desire to solve

the problem, a willingness to take personal responsibility,

common sense. When one is drinking too much, it is good common sense to decide to drink moderately. Millions of people who do drink too much for a period of time under stress, or in college, or in and, probably most importantly,

the military, are quite successful in avoiding alcoholic

on when irresponsible indulgence is common sense, intelligence, and determination, people who "recover" this way struggle with excess

later

inappropriate. Using

210

and before long the addiction is over. Most importantly, they did it as an expression of values and concepts that they had learned in their homes and credited themselves for solving the problem instead of others. This is what Rational Recovery is all about. All addicted people, by our definition, are aware that they have problems stemming from self-intoxication, and they wish it weren't so. They begin working on the problem the problem for a while

dependence with reasonable, logical efforts that usually involve promises to themselves and others to of alcohol

drink less, or to drink less frequently, only at certain times, or to quit for a period of time and then drink only moderately. There

research shows,

is

nothing wrong with

many

this,

and, as

people succeed in achieving the

goal of moderate drinking as a result of a self-made

treatment plan. This simple approach to addiction or substance abuse often produces results and costs nothing.

But very often plans for moderation fail, and that is where a home-based Rational Recovery plan may begin. By making a commitment to abstinence, using the concepts of Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT), and developing a Big Plan, many people have overcome their addictions, thus restoring the family to health. Each family with a substance-abusing

threatens

its

survival

member faces a

and the future

of its

crisis that

members.

Rational Recovery helps the entire family, including the

substance abuser, to become aware of the state of addiction, so that constructive action may be taken. Tne following is a general, flexible plan for approaching the problem.

problem Let him or her know that you know what the problem really is. Say, The real problem is that (you, dad, mom)

Identify the

211

problem is just that or user's Beast will place the drinker's But the simple. blame on anything other than on the drinking. Most drink(s) alcohol." Identifying the

families troubled with addiction have difficulty identifying

the problem;

seeing the obvious can take years.

ready, a family

member, usually a parent but

may

When

often a child,

simply say,

Your booze cost $320 last month, and the children need shoes. This must stop. I miss you when you're out drinking. Please come

home

sober.

You're ruining everything with your drinking.

you

I

want

to quit.

when you've been drinking. I you better sober. You have a problem with alcohol and you had better

You're ugly and boring like

take care of it.

Confront the addiction

When

identifying the

taking action

is

problem doesn't work, then

the next progressive approach. Action

serves four general purposes:

your future,

(2)

(1)

to protect yourself

to protect the children's future,

avoid participating in an addiction that entire family,

and

(4)

is

and

and

(3)

to

harmful to the

to educate the addicted person.

Actions sometimes speak louder than words. For example: I

am

taking out a separate

bank account because

of

your

drinking expenses.

am

sending the children to Aunt Alice's so they won't be around your drinking.

I

have moved your things to the attic room. I won't sleep or have sex with you because you are always drunk. I won't visit the Johnson's because you always get drunk I

there.

212

I

wont come

to bail

you out of jail

this time.

It's

time you

take care of yourself.

When

confronting the drinker or user, always refer to

consequences of self- intoxication rather than general disappointments in the relationship. Tell your loved one that he/she may be addicted, and explain that only he or she can know for sure. Explain that addiction is when one continues to drink or use drugs against one's own better judgment. Ask if he/she believes he/she is addicted. If he/she says "yes," tell him/her that defeating an addiction is not a big deal, that it can be learned by reading The Final Fix, by going to an RR meeting, or by enrolling in an intensive AVRT session. The Ultimatum Finally, if lesser means have failed, it is time to tell your self- intoxicating loved one what you will do if the drinking or drugging doesn't stop. Don't bluff. Carry through on everything you say you will do. For example: specific

If you If

continue to drink after today,

you continue

to

I will

drink after today,

leave.

I will

put you out of

the house. If

you don't get some help for your addiction within

twenty -four hours,

I will file for

divorce.

have filed for divorce. If you stop drinking, I will consider whether to proceed with it or not If you don't stop

I

drinking,

we are finished.

Ultimatums are big guns, but so is addiction a big gun. telling your loved one to choose between you and the substance of choice. You win either way. Give your loved one this book, and give him or her information on local RR groups and information on AVRT. The Course. It may be very helpful for your alcohol

You are

213

dependent family member to meet others with similar problems who are actively involved in RR. He or she may call

the national office of RRSN to get information.

commonplace The progression of addiction

Self-recovery is

a painful and sometimes damaging experience for the family. But human beings are quite often able to

addiction in the family.

is

manage and

When an

solve problems of

alcohol dependent

person begins getting negative feedback, then finds the family withdrawing, and finally expelling him or her because of the addiction, change is then viewed as not only possible, but also desirable and realistic. Millions of people quit their addictions when the consequences are finally unacceptable. This is a human ability, and selfrecovery is commonplace. RR emphasizes human strengths and competencies. Participants are discouraged from thinking they are suffering from an inherited disease that causes them to be powerless over the desire to intoxicate themselves. The

American addiction "treatment** industry is based entirely on the experiences of people who didn't know how to recover in a natural, unassisted way and who were then actively discouraged from doing so. Practically everyone who seeks help is assumed to be "diseased," and started on an endless 12 -step path of "recovering," one that may be unacceptable in principle, and which may take a lifetime. So, if your loved one has resisted getting help, it may not be so much a problem with motivation as his or her rejection of the kind of help that has been available. Likewise, if your loved one has attempted to get help and failed to remain sober, it is entirely possible that he/she was simply in the wrong program and would do much

214

better to "go

it

alone," using

common

sense, self-reliance,

andAVRT.

AVRT is a simple logic that provides a well-marked road map out of the seemingly endless maze of addiction. This "road

map" has been compiled from the

actual experiences

thousands of people who have quit their addictions on their own, without attending meetings, without getting sponsors, without working a 12-step program, and of

without medical or other professional help. It

essential that people struggling against their

is

addictions not be discredited for the sincere efforts they are

You may expect a lot moods, and social withdrawal for a while. This should not be used as evidence that there is something wrong with him/her, and that he/she needs "treatment." Withdrawal can take weeks or many months, during which there is a natural healing process under way. Anyone who says, "I can handle my own problems," is certainly on the right track. RRSN Self-Help Groups If the home-based Rational Recovery plan fails, the time has come to act decisively and use outside resources. The Rational Recovery Self-Help Network (RRSN) is a division of Rational Recovery Systems, Inc., that manages free-of-charge self-help groups in most communities in the making

to control or stop drinking.

of irritability, low

United States, plus the

main

office

many

in foreign countries. Just call

(916-621-2667) to find the nearest group in

your area. People

who

attend meetings are reminded that the

meetings are self-help and not support groups that encourage new dependencies and feelings of belongingness. The groups are confidential and the leaders are usually people who stopped drinking on their own.

215

The meetings are group discussions that usually start with a question like, "Who's been thinking of drinking?" or "Who has a problem or a trouble they would like to work on?" The concepts of rational- emotive behavior therapy, described elsewhere in this book, are applied to problems

AVRT

related to addiction, and

is

used

to defeat the

addiction itself. Members are encouraged to eventually leave the group when they are confident that there will be no future drinking. Some people attend only a few meetings, while others attend for six months to a year or

more. Professional help

Many

people

who

attend

RR

groups

will also

seek

professional consultation for personal problems including

marriage and family counseling, individual psychotherapy,

and treatment

of psychiatric disorders. Again, the original

Rational Recovery plan need not be altered.

care

professionals

Specialists

are

who do

Certified

Many

health

Rational Recovery

not use traditional "treatment"

approaches, or refer people to 12-step support groups.

When

away from home are indicated, licensed Rational Recovery hospitals and other RR providers are services

available to provide low-cost, relevant care.

When

addictions have continued and require more

intensive learning, continuity of care is very important.

AVRT; The Course

is

a

brief, intensive

RRS

calling the national available in a

number

RR® facilities. managed care

office.

program available by These sessions are

of cities, including

some

licensed

In the last several years, insurance

and

agencies have begun to require client

participation in treatment planning. Rational Recovery

is

keeping with the times by providing each person a real choice in the

means

to defeat addiction.

216

How to Help Tour Addicted Loved One your addicted family member doesn't want to get it is possible that you may be of some direct help because AVRT is educational rather than a clinical program. One very popular recovery idea is that there is nothing you can do for an addicted loved one except to avoid becoming an "enabler," somehow contributing to the problem, and perhaps join a "codependency" support group. There are many exceptions to this traditional stance. It is entirely possible that you may be in a situation to actively educate your addicted loved one on If

help,

how

to quit the addiction.

Entering a helping relationship with an adult family

member, however,

is risky.

Although you can't really make itself would, trying to help

things worse than the addiction

can backfire. Remember, the Beast will do anything to survive and it perceives persons who threaten the supply of alcohol as enemies. Beasts do not have lovers; they only have partners. Clients sometimes end relationships with therapists who "go too far," by confronting persistent behavior.

And many

addicted people will leave their

families to drink unrestrained

by

others.

These are choices

may make and are entirely their own. Counselors and family members who confront or try to

that addicted people

help addicted people are not responsible for the decisions

made by such

people.

Although there is no such disease as "codependency," you may be so dependent on the love and approval of your addicted one that your own self-interest may be overshadowed. You may hold your tongue to avoid disapproval, even though the disapproval entirely

harmless in

one's opinions

—

itself.

Remember, most

loving or otherwise

217

—

and anger

is

of your loved

are essentially

worthless as long as he/she remains devoted to the addiction. Therefore, you need not fear critical or rejecting opinions. In order to be of any direct help to your loved one, you will

do

much

better

by

first

applying the concept of

unconditional self-acceptance (USA-today) described in

Chapter

3.

By

learning to unconditionally respect and

accept yourself, you become emotionally independent from

much less fearful of that may result from the

your addicted family member, and disapproval, anger, or rejection addiction.

Experiment with the word "sucker" instead of "enabler." Try it on to determine if you're enabling your addicted loved one or being taken advantage of. This will help clear

up the "enabling" question, and you may intuitively know what to do. Your first responsibility, of course, is to yourself. By placing your own welfare first you can be in a more secure position to help your loved one. Some may advise you to take harsh action that may be premature or counterproductive. Trust your own judgment and feelings, and remember that people who give inappropriate advice often have a personal interest in your taking that advice.

Getting Ready

Here are a few guidelines and pointers before attempting to help your loved one with AVRT. 1. People who do additional self-help readings usually do much better than those who do not. As mentioned above, one effective action on your part is to give him or her this book in which there is sufficient information to make a big difference. By reading The Final Fix yourself, including the previous chapter for counselors, you can become familiar with the simple basics of helping an addicted person. Read 218

The Small Book: A Revolutionary Alternative for Overcoming Alcohol and Drug Dependence, a central reading for the Rational Recovery Self-Help Network. Read as much as you can about rational- emotive behavior therapy in books listed in The Rational Recovery Catalog. 2.

Your loved one may continue

to drink or use drugs,

no

matter what you do. If that happens you are not at fault in any way. Remember that your loved one's addiction is not your addiction, and you aren't responsible for creating it or defeating it. If you have drunk or used drugs together, you may feel that you have contributed to the problem, If you are accused of being a cause of his/her drinking or drugging you may feel guilty. You may ask, "How have I gone wrong? I should have done better." Although sadness is appropriate when someone you love is troubled with addiction, guilt is unnecessary. Even if you have fed into the problem, which is unlikely, you aren't perfect; you have a right to be wrong! You can't really make a mistake in dealing with your addicted loved one as long as you are willing to try anything, including divorce, putting your loved one out of the house, cutting off the money, or using any other legal means. Whatever you do, your loved one may continue to drink or use drugs. If your loved one defeats his or her addiction as a result of your help, you may benefit from having a happy, sober person again, but you get no

"credit."

Be certain that your loved one clearly agrees to have you discuss AVRT. At a time when he or she is not drinking or under the influence (all addicts have moments when they are "in their right minds") and receptive, sit down for a serious talk. Tell your loved one that you want to start the discussion, and get him or her to agree to only 3.

219

you are finished. Tell your loved one that you are very concerned about the use of alcohol or drugs. Carefully avoid any use of the word "denial." Without listen until

blame, anger or recriminations, explain why. Describe the financial cost,

list

the legal problems that have resulted

from the substance abuse, describe the impact on others in the family, talk about how the addiction has harmed your loved one's career, health, and overall happiness. Naturally, your loved one will feel quite uncomfortable with

all of this,

and he or she

will

many when you are

be ready with

explanations, arguments, and excuses finished speaking.

Therefore, before you pause for your loved one to

respond, finish your statement with something like

this:

"We both know there's a serious problem here. But let me get on with the good news! I have just learned about a new approach to this problem. It seems that you have been right all along on some very important things. This

new approach, called Addictive Voice Recognition Technique, is for people who want to learn how to quit drinking on their own. I've read up on AVKT, and if you are willing to use

me

as kind of a sounding board,

I

may be

We can do home, and you may not have to get outside help or treatment for your drinking problem after all. Is this able help you learn about your Addictive Voice.

this at

interesting to you?" It

is

possible that you will be rebuffed at this point;

if

drop the subject. You may raise the subject later or drop it all together. But don't forget the other concerns you have about the family. Show you mean business by so,

describing what you will or won't do

your loved one continues the addiction. Your loved one may have to choose between you and the bottle. If, however, you get a 220

if

show of interest, you and your loved one are on your way to an fascinating journey into AVRT. It is quite serious

likely that

your loved one

will defeat the addiction

— for

good.

never argue with someone who is intoxicated. Intoxicated people can't really learn, and you may even get hurt. If your addicted family member clearly agrees to discuss AVRT with you, then re-read the previous chapter for counselors. What they do isn't mysterious or beyond your understanding. When you read the word, "client," substitute the name of your loved one. Help your loved one do lapse reconstructions as a way to develop awareness. If you have discussions on AVRT for a while and encounter serious objections, repeated lapses, or continuous drinking by your loved one, throw in the towel. He or she will have to go it alone or get help in RR meetings or from a professional counselor. 5.

And

finally,

221

222

Appendix B

Introduction to The Questionnaire You may have guessed by now that AVRT political.

AVRT

the hell

out of the Beast,

people

is

shockingly

who have

political.

it

Just as

is

AVRT

highly scares

also scares the hell out of

vested interests in "treatment." In

"treatment," people linger for long periods of time

consuming expensive

AA

services from those providing the

makes any money on AA," but this is an intentional falsehood. Everyone knows that there are enormous sums of money spent on 12-step "treatment."

claims that "No one

"treatment." Rational Recovery Systems, Inc. has brought

about dramatic social change since 1980s, and change I

am

is in

it

a professional person, but in

have set

my

in the

mid

the wind.

President of Rational Recovery Systems I

began

I

my capacity of am a lay person.

sights on helping to bring

down

the

addiction "treatment" industry, without regard to what

kind of "treatment" is

providing

it.

I

is

provided, and without regard to

have known

for years that "treatment" is

a fraud perpetrated on the public for money, that work, and that

it

is

who

it

doesn't

the actual cause of the addiction crisis

in America.

AVRT

most elementary questions about about personal responsibility, and about fundamental freedoms. Very clearly, AVRT draws a boundary between the government and the governed. Most of us watch aghast as one celebrity after another flees into raises the

citizenship,

"treatment" to avoid personal responsibility for social, ethical,

and criminal misdeeds. Few people 223

realize the

content of "treatment" and are satisfied to believe that it is "too deep" for them to understand. But one thing everyone

understands

is cost-effectiveness.

To spend a

single dollar

on programs that shift the responsibility for acquiring, maintaining, and ending addictions away from the individual is an injustice to addicted citizens and to society.

Now

and presumably made your amends to society. Your behavior will naturally be more ethical, moral, and pro-social, and no more shall be spent from public or health care funds on your addiction that you have read The Fined Fix

will intoxicate

yourself no further, you have

problem.

urge you to consider that you have been personally harmed by the public policy funding of the disease model of I

you down the road to self-defeat continues to be funded from taxes you pay. The Beast of Rational Recovery speaks through the media, through public education on "addictive disease, " through "treatment" programs themselves, and through those who make our misguided policies. Now you know better than others why a war on mass addiction is the very opposite from a war on drugs. On the following page is a questionnaire. If The Final Fix has helped you, there is one thing you can give back, one thing that quite possibly will help many others avoid the recovery hall of mirrors that has troubled you. You can fill out the questionnaire and mail it to Rational Recovery Systems, Box 800, Lotus CA 95651. During 1995, I will tabulate the questionnaires and produce a document for political purposes. The addiction.

The Addictive Voice that

be of some scientific interest, insofar as hypothesis may be investigated further in the

information the

AVRT

may

led

224

But science doesn't really dictate public policy; democracy does. You will see from the questionnaire that it is not really a scientific one, but more of a consumer

future.

satisfaction instrument.

As the number

grows, so does the significance of the

of responses

common message

contained. I I

will

am committed to bringing about change for the better. take your message of

common

sense to every corner

our message of hope for the remaining addicted masses. I will tell the press and broadcast media, the congress, the governors of every state, the legislators in every state, and I will tell every addiction counselor that America has entered the postof the

nation,

telling

"treatment" era.

225

The

Confidential Questionnaire

Please provide your Inc., is

name and address

below.

RRS

experienced in protecting your confidentiality

information

is

If

released for the purposes stated on the

previous page, your

name and

identifying information will

be omitted or disguised. A serial number will be assigned to your response as soon as it is received by RRS, Inc. If your questionnaire is used for scientific research by an independent organization, all identifying information will be blacked out and your response will be identified by its serial number. With your permission, you may be contacted at intervals for follow-up information. Many people will want to see if you remain abstinent using the

concepts of AVRT. Don't fear that you would be embarrassed if you are contacted and not perfectly abstinent. (That fear, of course, is a residual of your Beast, easily recognizable

by now.)

Feel free to offer criticism of The Final Fix.

AVRT

is

a

product of the people, by the people, and for the people. My job is to incorporate feedback for future development of

AVRT. Use a separate paper outline guides

or as long as

f

for

your responses, following the Your answers may be brief

1. [a], 3.[b], etc.).

you

like.

226

Return to Rational Recovery Systems Box 800, Lotus CA 95651

Mark envelope,

"Confidential Questionnaire"

Name Address: State

City

ZIP.

Telephone (optional) Today's date: 1.

Describe your addiction.

Substance (s): (b) Year when you became aware you had an alcohol or other drug problem. (c) Why was your addiction a problem? relationships, legal, employment, (1) (a)

financial.

medical/ psychiatric

other (describe) (d)

What

did you first do to help yourself?

permanent abstinence (no use since then) quit for a while (list periods clean and sober, (2) month and year, (Ex: "Sept., 1986 to July, 1989") attended AA (describe how often, your (4) (1)

response to the program) (5)

entered a "treatment program" outpatient group program,

counselor,

hospital inpatient

Describe what this 2.

Describe

how you

was

like:

decided to resume your addiction,

"What did your Beast

tell

you?"

227

i.e.,

3.

What

did you next do to help yourself with your

addiction?

AA

(a)

returned to

(b)

entered a "treatment" program (approximate date) outpatient program,

counselor, hospital inpatient

How much did this cost? (d) Who paid the bill? (c)

(d)

Describe your experience, including follow-up and

how long sober afterward: 4.

Repeat item 3 as

"treatment."

Then

many

times as you have been in

total the following:

Number of AA meetings (approximately) Number of counseling sessions for your addiction. Number of treatment programs you have been in. (Make the services were from a public agency providing

note

if

"free

treatment*

Total cost, regardless of who paid. 5.

When was your last use

6.

What

is

your plan

of alcohol or other drug?

for the further

use? again.

I

7.

Optional. Write your story of recovery from addiction.

may be as long or brief as you 8.

Describe your

9.

May RRS,

like.

means to remain

Inc.,

information? Yes

It

sober.

contact you in the future for additional

No

Signed,

Date:

228

About Rational Recovery

229

230

Participation

Rational Recovery Self-Help Network (RRSN) Rational Recovery is the first thing someone with a drinking or drug problems should explore, and the last thing to do when nothing else has helped. Building your natural strengths and abilities, you learn simple mental skills for abstinence and independence. If you have been unhelped by 12-step programs, or if you find it difficult to withdraw from meetings, is a way out of addiction and "recovering." For information on groups in the United States and abroad, call 916-621-2667, Monday through Friday, 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM, Pacific time. Anyone with an addiction to work on is welcome to attend RR meetings. RRSN is a division of Rational Recovery Systems, Inc., and meetings are free of charge.

Rational Recovery

Leadership Organizers, Coordinators, andAdvisors Bring Rational Recovery to your home community! It isn't difficult to start a local project of Rational Recovery Self-Help Network. If you like people and enjoy the excitement of social change, this could be a great opportunity. Some may find new career opportunities as more employers seek out persons with Rational Recovery background and credentials. If you are a professional in the field of health care, you may volunteer to become a Rational Recovery Advisor. To volunteer as a group

Coordinator, or professional Advisor, call

916-621-2667.

Career RR