Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View : GenderSpectives [1 ed.] 9781443878531, 9781443816991

Citation preview

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View: GenderSpectives Edited by

Nickesia Gordon and Laura Finley

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View: GenderSpectives Series: Peace Studies: Edges and Innovations Edited by Nickesia Gordon and Laura Finley This book first published 2017 Cambridge Scholars Publishing Lady Stephenson Library, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE6 2PA, UK British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library Copyright © 2017 by, Nickesia Gordon, Laura Finley and contributors All rights for this book reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner. ISBN (10): 1-4438-1699-X ISBN (13): 978-1-4438-1699-1

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Acknowledgements .................................................................................. viii Series Introduction...................................................................................... ix Laura Finley and Michael Minch Introduction ................................................................................................. 1 Nickesia S. Gordon Section One: Gender and Identity Chapter One ................................................................................................. 8 Recreational Bodybuilding as Cultural Transformation: Communicating Cross-Cultural Masculinities in U.S. College Gym Culture Yannick Kluch Chapter Two .............................................................................................. 20 “Love Women and Hate Faggots!”: Contradictions in Identity Conception and Performance Antonio Spikes Chapter Three ............................................................................................ 33 Boys Will Be Girls and Girls Will Be Boys Laura Finley and Barry University Students Chapter Four .............................................................................................. 52 The Gender Binary from the Outside Tyler (Ellora) LaCarrubba Chapter Five .............................................................................................. 61 Transgender Identity Disclosures via YouTube Narratives Erin K. Phelps

vi

Table of Contents

Chapter Six ............................................................................................... 75 I Kissed a Girl: The Music Industry’s Sale of a Postmodern/ Post-Feminist Female Identity Nickesia S. Gordon Chapter Seven............................................................................................ 92 Gender and Space: Negotiating Identities as Young Adults through Neighborhoods of New York City Lili Shi Section Two: Gender and Language Chapter Eight ........................................................................................... 106 The Language of Gender Sarah Kornfield and Nicolette DeSantis Chapter Nine............................................................................................ 123 Embodying Gender Language: Tension in Performance Beth J. Bollinger Chapter Ten ............................................................................................. 135 Speaking Up, Acting Out: Reflective Dialogue and the First-Year Writing Course Kelly Concannon and Ashley Nicols Chapter Eleven ........................................................................................ 148 The Eco and Ego Motivations in Communication between Men and Women Lucia Klencakova Section Three: Gender and Institutions Chapter Twelve ....................................................................................... 162 Discussing and Dismantling Rape Culture with College Students Laura Finley Chapter Thirteen ...................................................................................... 187 Sexism and Bystander Intervention John Chapin and Nancy Paoletti

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View: GenderSpectives

vii

Chapter Fourteen ..................................................................................... 201 Gender Quotas: Do They Accelerate Workplace Diversity? Franziska Schmitt and Allison Weidhaas Chapter Fifteen ........................................................................................ 208 A Feminist Approach to Gender Stereotypes found in Reality Television Shows Sister Wives and 19 Kids & Counting Chelsea Canady Conclusion ............................................................................................... 222 Laura Finley Appendix A: Additional Resources ......................................................... 229 About the Editors and Contributors ......................................................... 240

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Nickesia Gordon: I sincerely wish to thank the Communication and Gender (COM 311) class of fall 2015, who participated in very passionate discussions about their experiences of living in a gendered world. In almost every class our discussion stretched the limits of the allotted 1 hour and 20 minutes and even then, we would still be engaged in energetic discussions as we walked through the door. Your passion was the inspiration for this book. I also wish to thank my colleague, Dr. Margaret Chojnacki, with whom I alternate teaching this class and with whom I developed the course. Listed below are the names of all the budding scholars from COM 311: x x x x x x x x x x

Simba (Halima) Abubakar Jeannette Archer Gregory Bascombe Diomaris Bello Taneia Burrell Alyssa Cenatus LaBorah Crawford Kristine Liautaud Nicole Mavris Kevante Monette

Laura Finley: First, I wish to thank Nickesia Gordon for inviting me to be part of this project and for being such an enthusiastic and easy-to-workwith partner! I also thank all the contributors for their thoughtful entries. I am so pleased by the diversity of authors, topics, and styles that we were able to include. In addition, I wish to thank all the Barry University students in my two Perspective Consciousness and Social Justice (SOC 200) courses in spring 2016 who agreed to have their reflections included. These students engaged in critical discussion about gender, gender roles norms, rape culture, bystander intervention and, importantly, how to make changes to create an affirmative, supportive, and just society for all. The students who participated are listed in the About the Editors and Authors.

SERIES INTRODUCTION PEACE STUDIES: EDGES AND INNOVATIONS LAURA FINLEY AND MICHAEL MINCH ON BEHALF OF THE PEACE AND JUSTICE STUDIES ASSOCIATION (PJSA)

Peace Studies: Edges and Innovations is a book series edited by PJSA Board Members Michael Minch and Laura Finley. The intent of the series is to fill in gaps in the conflict, peace, justice and reconciliation literature while presenting texts that are on the cutting edge of the discipline. The series includes both edited and solo-authored books that combine academic rigor and accessible prose, making them appealing to scholars, classrooms, activists, practitioners and policymakers. Books in the series focus on re-conceptualizing and expanding peace education, looking to and drawing from communities that have been marginalized, overlooked, or forgotten; identify new understandings of the role that gender, multiculturalism and diversity play in the creation of a sustained peace; promoting innovative peacebuilding strategies and movements related to positive peace and justice; exploring the relationship between peace studies and other contemporary problematics, such as climate change and the rights of indigenous peoples; addressing the overlap, interpenetration and symbiosis between peace and conflict studies and other disciplinary areas; and analyzing current issues in criminal justice, with an emphasis on restorative alternatives. Due to the breadth of the topic matter, the series is appropriate for readers of all disciplinary traditions. In sum, the series aims to promote the most interesting and exciting trends or movements in the field of peace and conflict studies. It is also intended

x

Series Introduction

to render more visible the unique contributions of peacemakers and to promote the mission and goals of the PJSA. The Peace and Justice Studies Association is a binational non-profit organization with the mission of creating a just and peaceful world through research, education and action. PJSA is dedicated to bringing together academics, K-12 teachers, and grassroots activists to explore alternatives to violence and share visions and strategies for peacebuilding, social justice, and social change. The organization serves as a professional association for scholars in the field of peace and conflict studies, and is the North American affiliate of the International Peace Research Association. Additional information about PJSA can be found at www.peacejustice studies.org.

Books in the Series Amster, Randall, Finley, Laura, McKutcheon, Richard and Pries, Edmund (Eds.) Peace Studies Traditions and Innovations (2015). Standish, Katerina. Cultural Violence in the Classroom: Peace, Conflict and Education in Israel. (2015). Finley, Laura and Concannon, Kelly. (Eds.) Peace and Social Justice Education on Campus: Faculty and Student Perspectives (2015). Meyer, Matt and Vidya Jain. (Eds.). Satyagraha / Ujamaa: Connecting Contemporary African-Asian Peacemaking and Nonviolence (forthcoming).

INTRODUCTION NICKESIA GORDON

On a subject as personal as gender, multiple perspectives exist, many of which do not necessarily fit traditional ideas about how to enact gender. This volume represents an exploration of gender from a variety of standpoints, many of which are deeply personal and introspective. Importantly, the collection of essays documents the experiences of and reflections on gender from graduate and undergraduate students in the field of Communication. The concept for the book is partly the product of conversations, queries and discoveries that emerged from a spirited Communication and Gender course offered by the Department of Communication at Barry University. However, Genderspectives quickly burgeoned into an interdisciplinary account of gender experiences from a variety of voices representing multiple academic programs. The book privileges the student voice, offering contemplatives from the students’ point of view in their encounters with gender issues as they intersect with their identities, sexualities, race and ethnicity, nationalities as well as socio-economic backgrounds, in their everyday communicative experiences. Prevailing notions of selfhood are often contested and scrutiny of one’s own understanding of gender as it is constructed, performed, evaluated, and negotiated in socio-cultural and political contexts is a common thread that unites many of the chapters that comprise the collection. Several chapters are co-authored by students and faculty, while others are written by faculty scholars who incorporate student reflections into the essay. Notwithstanding, GenderSpectives denotes an articulation of the critical thinking and ethical reasoning processes students can engage in as part of an educational experience that prepares them to be conscientious members of society who are capable of initiating and contributing to social change. The collection of essays also empowers each student contributor by providing a platform from which they can voice their concerns and advocate for social change. Students are potential academics but more importantly, it is imperative that their voices get recognized as part of a critical pedagogical/ transformative educational process. The volume is different from others in that 1) It focuses on student voices and their

2

Introduction

personal gender stories; 2) It is a product of student learning, i.e. students reflecting on and putting into practice what they have learnt; and 3) It is an example of engaged student learning where students engage in critical thinking, ethical and moral reasoning, inquiry and analysis as well as intercultural explorations. The essays posit personal or research questions writers have based on gender encounters in a variety of settings including family, work, educational, religious, mass media and peer. The discussions that subsequently emerged from these contextual frames lead to the organization of the book into three sections, namely Gender and Identity, Gender and Language and Gender and Institutions. Collectively, the sections offer discussions on issues such as the gender binary, the concept that excludes LGBTQ identities and posits heterosexuality as the only viable option. Essays that tackle this topic deconstruct established beliefs about gender norms and offer more dynamic approaches to understanding gender performances. Discussions also problematize the idea of feminism as purported by popular culture and contemplate the complexity of articulating feminism through pop cultural industries such as mass media. Another topic covered under the three sections include examinations of the role of language in gender constructions. Several chapters examine issues of semantic imbalance and derogatory speech and their disempowering effects. Such language often contributes to sexually based violence against women, an issue that multiple essays address. Rape culture, particularly on college campuses, female objectification, and the male gaze are concepts that are simultaneously explored. Specifically, section one of the volume, Gender and Identity, focuses on representations and constructions of gendered selves in a variety of contexts. Several of the works in this section critique the patriarchal organization of female subjectivity and question the political and social construction of gender that often invokes the gender binary. For instance, in her essay, “Boys Will Be Girls and Girls Will Be Boys,” Finley points out how gender role norms inform people about how they are expected to dress, look, and behave as a result of the sexual characteristics that are presumed to be tied to their gender identity. As she argues, although these norms have changed over time, and people are now beginning to recognize that gender is far less binary and much more fluid, there remains a certain rigidity in societal expectations for males and females. LaCarruba similarly argues for non-binary identities which do not have to conform to the ideas of masculinity and femininity in the chapter titled, “The Gender Binary from The Outside.”

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View: GenderSpectives

3

Other essays in the section argue that the image of womanhood that is constructed by patriarchy is invariably sexual and limiting in nature. As Cixous (1980) points out, “women’s imaginary is inexhaustible” (246), yet male centered discourse insists on defining female subjectivity in rather restrictive sexual terms. For example, women are either castrating Medusas, or unfathomable continents (Freud 1950). Gordon, in chapter six, concludes that such articulations of female identities relegate women to the position of the objectified other, used to maintain patriarchal hegemony. Section one also includes ethnographic accounts of gender identity performances, as expressed by Kluch and Spikes in chapters one and two. Each interrogates conceptions of masculinities and the role of hegemonic masculinity in constricting expressions of manhood that do not fit the normative gender performances. As Plester (2015) observes, “hegemonic masculinity is not assumed to be normal but it is normative” (541) insofar as it exemplifies the cultural ideal. As Kluch and Spikes’ chapters bear out, for men to conform to hegemonic masculinity “they must distance themselves from both femininity and homosexuality” (541). Section two, Gender and Language, delineates the connection between language and the construction of gender. Essays in this section acknowledge that the control that patriarchy assumes over the construction of female identity has been, for the most part, facilitated through language and its political application. Feminist theory has consistently referred to the phallocentric nature of language which “hears in language only that which speaks in the masculine” (Cixous 1980, 251). As it is language that constructs identity, it follows that the group that is in control of language will also be in control of the construction of subjectivity. Consequently, “[i]t comes as no surprise…that language is an instrument of oppression” (Littlejohn 2001, 224) that has been used to mute the experiences and voices of women and men who do not conform to idealized expectations of gender performance. Language “is instrumental in constructing the world in which we live” (Littlejohn 2002), therefore, its patriarchal control engenders a construction of the female and male subjectivity that reduces individuals to objects. Kornfield and DeSantis, in their essay, “The Language of Gender,” discuss the oppressive nature of language and how it is used to maintain the gender binary and construct a world in which this dichotomy seems immutable. So do Concannon and Nicols in their chapter, “Speaking Up, Acting Out: Reflective Dialogue and The FirstYear Writing Course,” in which they reflect on the ethical dimensions of language use within the context of an introductory and an advanced level writing course.

4

Introduction

Finally, section three, Gender and Institutions, offers discussions on the institutional discourses and practices that help shape gender. As DeFrancisco and Palczewski (2008) make clear “institutions, like individuals, communicate gender and are gendered through communication …gender is much more than a personality trait and is itself a social institution (141). Therefore, institutions of education such as schools and colleges, work, family and mass media, impact gender in the ways in which they exert hegemonic control over how gender is performed. Institutionalized violence against certain genders is oftentimes the direct result of institutional practices that maintain gender inequalities. Several chapters examine the institution of education and its role in shaping problematic gender discourses and practices. For instance, Finley in chapter twelve exposes the culture of rape on college campuses while offering ways in which this culture may be dismantled. Chapin and Paoletti also look at education’s role in informing gender relations in chapter thirteen, where they outline the disturbing relationship between sexism and bystander intervention among middle school and high school students while advocating for the integration of violence prevention education into the school curricula. All the essays in the volume offer critical perspectives and reflections on gender that challenge normative practices and expectations. As one student from the aforementioned Communication and Gender class reflected: It is okay to teach your sons how to wash their own clothes, the dishes, cook and clean up after themselves, because it is ultimately traits they will need when they become an adult. It is okay for a father to let his daughter help him cut the grass, take out the trash, and learn the basics of maintaining a car, such as changing a tire or checking the oil. That teaches her that she does not have to depend on anyone to do any of those tasks for her. Teach them that everyone is equal, no matter what their gender/sex is. Encourage them to go against the norm, to make a difference in the world.

References Cixous, Helene. “The Laugh of the Medusa,” New French Feminisms (1980): 245-267. DeFrancisco, Victoria P. and Catherine H. Palczewski, "Education," In Communicating Gender Diversity: A Critical Approach, 175-198. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, 2008.

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View: GenderSpectives

5

Freud, Sigmund. “Medusa’s Head.” In Sigmund Freud, Collected Papers,. edited by James Strachey. London: Hogarth Press, 1950. Littlejohn, Stephen. Theories of Human Communication. California: Wadsworth, 2002. Plester, Barbara. “‘Take It Like a Man!’: Performing Hegemonic Masculinity Through Organizational Humour,”Ephemera 15(2015): 537-559.

SECTION ONE: GENDER AND IDENTITY

CHAPTER ONE RECREATIONAL BODYBUILDING AS CULTURAL TRANSFORMATION: COMMUNICATING CROSS-CULTURAL MASCULINITIES IN U.S. COLLEGE GYM CULTURE YANNICK KLUCH

Introduction As I make my way across the university lawn, I can feel a splash of excitement each time I spy a new building, a new facet of this campus that will be my home for the next few years. It is the foreignness of this campus that fascinates me. Will I ever find my way around on this huge place? A quick turn to the right exposes a giant glass front protruding from the blanket of green, freshly cut grass: the front of the Recreation Center. I look at it as if I had just reached the top of the Statue of Liberty. My usual pre-workout excitement is increased by my fascination for this new lifting environment. As I pull open the door, my eyes get as big as a child’s eyes on Christmas morning. I take a few steps towards the center of the building. The lifting machines are lined up like soldiers; each group of machines seemingly focusing on one particular muscle group. The lifting machines line up around a free weight area containing three dozen free weights, while the entire first floor is overlooked by an army of treadmills and other cardio equipment on the second floor. The mirrored walls and giant headlights look modern and futuristic, yet familiar, and this place reminds me of my gym back home. Maybe, I reassure myself, I have already found a small piece of home away from home. As my eyes travel with amazement from one corner of the gym to the next, I do not realize that I am almost running into two guys coming my way. An abrupt stop saves me from crashing into two young college men who seem to be twice my size. “Sorry, I was just goi—,” I attempt to say, but am interrupted by the stocky-looking guy to my right. “You’re all good, man,”

Recreational Bodybuilding as Cultural Transformation

9

he says briefly and walks away, while his equally buff friend rolls his eyes. “I remember my first time at the gym,” I can hear him say as they veer away from me, and both begin to laugh. “That skinny dude needs to add some more plates if he wants to impress any girls in those short shorts… or boys,” the other one whispers. The corners of my mouth, almost touching my eyes just moments before, are now pointing towards the floor beneath my feet. My stomach starts to twist, pulling my breath down into uncertainty. What did he mean by that? This is surely not my first time at a gym, and I have worked out for many years in Germany. Nobody has ever called me skinny, either. Within seconds, the walls that have previously given me refuge in this foreign place have turned against me.

Like many scholars before me, I have been drawn to the study of men and masculinities through my initial discomfort with traditional masculinity. Using Connell’s (1987) theoretical framework of multiple co-existing, hierarchical masculinities in any given cultural, social, or historical context as a theoretical framework, it is the goal of this chapter to provide insight into the complexity of men’s experiences with multiple co-existing masculinities through an autoethnographic analysis of my own masculine identities in cross-cultural contexts. While some research has been conducted on the role of gym culture and bodybuilding in the construction of masculine gender identities (see e.g. Alvarez 2008; Bridges 2009; Denham 2008; Klein 1993), few scholarly inquiries offer autoethnographic insights into masculinities and bodybuilding in general, and no scholars have offered autoethnographic accounts for recreational bodybuilding (i.e. bodybuilding for recreational rather than competitive purposes) as a meaningful activity to construct and communicate cross-culturally fluid, complex masculine identities. Taking an autoethnographic approach, in this chapter I explore how cross-cultural masculinities can be communicated and constructed through non-verbal, verbal, and embodied communication practices in U.S. college gym culture. Further, I aim to provide insight into how identity markers such as gender and nationality intersect to create specific gendered experiences in U.S. sporting contexts.

On method: Writing an autoethnographic narrative on cross-cultural masculinities A distinct pop fills the room, as I throw my bag full of books into the rusty locker that is missing half of its blue color. Writing that last paper was rough. I had buried myself in mountains of books for the past two days, and the more words I wrote, the more miserable I became. I was disappointed that even after three months in the program, I had been as dependent on my German-English dictionary as my brother was on

10

Chapter One alcoholic drinks during family gatherings. I take of my pants and hoodie, and change into my favorite pair of shorts and a black Nike t-shirt that I had bought the week before as a reward for making it half-way through my first semester of graduate school in America. As I tie my shoes, a guy walks in and takes off his shirt. I look at his well-defined, muscular upper body. I can’t help but feel intimidated by the size of his musculature. Why does almost every guy in this gym look like they came straight from the newest Hollywood blockbuster? How do they get these bodies? The guy throws a quick “What’s up?” at me, but leaves for the shower section before I am able to respond. I have just finished my first set, when a 6-feet-tall, fairly muscular, curlyhaired guy dressed in long shorts and tank top walks up to me. “Hey man, do you mind if I jump in? The gym is so packed, I don’t want to waste my time standing around.” I double-check to see if he was actually talking to me, before I respond excitedly: “Absolutely.” I hop off the bench and make way. The nameless guy walks over to the shelf of free weights and, with seemingly no effort, picks up the 65-lbs-dumbbells. As he starts to push the weights away from his body, sweat is dropping off his forehead and his breathing is getting louder, until he calmly utters a determined groaning after each rep of his set. After eight reps, he slams the weights on the ground. “Your turn, man. Do you need a spot?” I am not sure what he means: “A spot?” He raises his eyebrows. “Yeah, in case you fail I can spot you. So that you can give one hundred percent on your last set,” he explains. “I usually don’t need spots, but thanks,” I respond. “Then you are not giving one hundred percent,” he says and both of us start to grin. “I’m Spencer, by the way,” he says right after I finished my next set. “Nice to meet you, Spencer!” “Dude … where are you from?” His question takes me by surprise. “Germany. I guess my beautiful accent gave that away,” I respond. “Well, that too. No offense man, but I kind of figured you weren’t from Ohio. You just, I guess, look different. Know what I mean?” Spencer grins at me. I know he did not mean to insult me, so I smile back, left in the dark about what he meant.

It is the autoethnographic research tradition that allows researchers to “retrospectively and selectively write about epiphanies that stem from, or are made possible by, being part of a culture and/or by possessing a particular cultural identity” (Ellis, Adams and Bochner 2011, 276). My autoethnographic narrative is, therefore, first and foremost an articulation of the cross-cultural friction between multiple masculine identities embodied and communicated by myself in a time of struggle. I outline my experiences as an international student, as a gendered sporting individual from a foreign country, entering U.S. college gym culture through practices of recreational bodybuilding. My first encounter with Spencer,

Recreational Bodybuilding as Cultural Transformation

11

who later became one of the closests friends I was going to make, constituted such a moment of cross-cultural friction. His words reminded me that I was in a new cultural context, and in this new context I was marked as different by the way I looked. It is the objective of the autoethnographic researcher to connect “the autobiographical and personal to the cultural, social, and political” (Ellis 2004, xix). Ellis (2013) reminds us so eloquently that “autoethnography is not simply a way of knowing about the world; it has become a way of being in the world, one that requires living consciously, emotionally, reflexively” (10). Through the display of “multiple layers of consciousness” (Ellis and Bochner 2000, 739), the autoethnographic writer becomes a vulnerable observer of his own experiences, which, ideally, exposes the very own vulnerability of the text’s readers (Ellis and Bochner 2000). Bochner, in his work with Ellis, has also advocated a more frequent academic use of personal narratives, which he describes as valuable agents in the sense-making process of complex human experiences: [They are] … stories that create the effect of reality, showing characters embedded in the complexities of lived moments of struggle, resisting the intrusions of chaos, disconnection, fragmentation, marginalization, and incoherence, trying to preserve or restore the continuity and coherence of life’s unity in the face of unexpected blows of fate that call one’s meanings and values into question. (Ellis and Bochner 2000, 744)

What I experienced in my first few weeks in an American gym can accurately be summarized as the starting point of a process of chaos and struggle. The derogatory words that the two young men aimed at me surely hurt and the things Spencer said upset me, but, more importantly, this moment was so significant because it shattered my perception of what it meant to be masculine. As an undergraduate student in a businessoriented program in Germany, I was shockingly unaware of socially and culturally constructionist accounts of gender. Like for many undereducated individuals in their twenties, the idea of male vs. female was essentially simple to me; I considered it to be a core human trait. It was not until years later, after I had become immersed in the interdisciplinary fields of communication and masculinity studies, that I was able to look back at my experiences as an international student entering U.S. gym culture as an outsider through a communication perspective. My masculine identity, it became evident to me, had always been linked to my upbringing and identification as German, which is why my exposure to a new cultural context—the college gym in the American Midwest—had led to crosscultural friction in my masculine self that is worthy of being documented

12

Chapter One

and analyzed. I use my narrative to show that—for me—through gaining access to hegemonic masculine scripts, the gym became a site of both cultural adaptation and cultural transformation, thus offering a rare autoethnographic account of sporting practices in general and bodybuilding in particular as a meaningful activity to communicate cross-culturally fluid, complex masculine identities.

Communicating cross-culturally fluid masculinities in the U.S. college gym The juicy green that made the big lawn in front of the Recreation Center so inviting months before has given way to a thick layer of dreary white. It began snowing three days ago, and on this early January morning, the cold air feels like a whiplash in my face. As I wait for Spencer to arrive for our first workout session after Christmas Break, I reflect on the months that lie behind me. Spencer and I have become fairly close friends since our first encounter at the gym. I ran into him the next day, and had asked him for his phone number to be able to coordinate our lifting schedules so that we could work out together. Soon after, we became lifting buddies who spent, at minimum, three hours together at the gym each week. While we had some trouble combining our schedules at first, our lifting sessions had become a rehearsed choreography by the end of the semester. “Sorry I’m late,” Spencer says shortly after finishing a sprint from his car to the main entrance, “Let’s gets this lift going!” I sit down on the bench that we have put in an upright position so that we could do dumbbell shoulder presses. I push the weights in the air and start to lift them up and down in a controlled manner. My arms and shoulders look good in the mirror. I am glad I decided to wear a cut-off today, and my eyes continue to stare at my shoulders in the mirror two feet away from me as I finish my set. “I have a question,” Spencer declares, while falling into to bench to start his own set. “And I wondered this before, but I thought it was kinda weird to ask.” “Go ahead, man, no worries,” I respond. “How come you barely have any armpit hair?” “What do you mean?” I don’t think I understood his question, and he reacts to the confused look on my face: “I’m just wondering, because it looks like you have no armpit hair, when you do the shoulder press.” I realize that I understood him correctly the first time, and start to chuckle about this unexpected question. “Well, of course I can grow hair in my armpits. I just shave them. I don’t like looking like a bushman.” Spencer looks at me with his eyes wide open. “Why would you shave your armpits on purpose? That’s what girls do,” he says, after he has gathered his thoughts. “I know, man, but it’s actually pretty common in Germany. All my guy friends shave their armpits. It’s just more hygienic, and no girl

Recreational Bodybuilding as Cultural Transformation

13

likes looking at a ball of sweaty, three-inch hairs when taking off your shirt.” I try not to sound too embarrassed, but I was taken by surprise with this topic that all of a sudden seemed oddly intimate to me. Spencer eventually breaks the silence: “I don’t think I have ever seen a guy who shaves his armpits here. Must be a German thing,” Spencer concludes and switches to a more mocking tone, “like wearing short shorts and hugging other guys instead of fist-bumping them.”

Masculinity can best be described as “the socially constructed way to be a man” (Zayer and Otnes 2012, 90). As such, masculinity is composed of gestures, acts, and enactments and “one way to frame masculinity is to see it as a set of ideas, attitudes, and behaviors that may be at odds with each other” (Klein 1993, 16). Masculinity, then, is typically understood to be characteristic male behavior that it is measured by methods such as appearance, behavior, voice, and muscularity (Alvarez 2008). Because masculinities are “complex, often contradictory, always in process and never finished” (Kennedy 2007, 23), scholars have started to identify a new depth to the study of masculinity. Masculinity is now conceptualized as hierarchical, with hegemonic masculinity at the top of the societal hierarchy. This “culturally idealized form of masculine character (in a given historical setting)” (Connell 1990, 83) is constructed in relation to marginalized and subordinated forms of masculinity (Connell 1987). As such, hegemonic masculinity is the “taken-for-granted, or ‘common sense’ model of what it is to be male” (Brookes 2002, 130). In addition, Tan et al. (2013) found that hegemonic masculinity, while it might not be the most common type of masculinity, sets the standard against which the achievements of all other men (the majority) are judged. In other words, while hegemonic masculinity is not normal, it certainly is normative. It might be for this reason that hegemonic masculinity is “experienced by many men as a strait-jacket; a set of conventions of behavior, style, ritual and practice that limit and confine, and are subject to surveillance, informal policing and regulation” (Whannel 2007, 11). It is the performative nature of masculinity that makes it an apt area of analysis when looking at the construction of gender from a communication perspective. Indeed, the gym then becomes a domain in which masculinities are communicated through performing bodies. For bodybuilding and exercising bodies, the gym can become a significant place to align with hegemonic notions of masculinity (Alvarez 2008). Alvarez (2008) has shown convincingly that “muscular can be built, and masculine can be learned. […] Today, the gym has, of course, become another tool in the acquisition of these sets of muscles and set of skills” (127). It may thus be barely surprising, as White and Gillett (1994) have

14

Chapter One

found through their analysis of Flex Magazine, that “bodybuilding is a cultural practice that represents, promotes, and encourages attitudes which reinforce the subordinate status of women and counterhegemonic masculinities” (33). Because bodybuilding promises quick results and greater physical self-control (as well as aesthetic value), it allows men to construct a superior self-identity that represents Western cultural ideals of hyper-masculinity including power, authority, and domination (Wiegers 1998). It may be for this reason that while my experience in the college gym shows that my masculine German self was judged in comparison to the American norm, I did not perceive the hegemonic norm as a “straitjacket”—rather, it was this norm that allowed me access to hegemonic experiences in the gym.1 The work of Wiegers (1998) illustrates that gym culture helps construct masculinities in the United States and that the male body plays a central role in these constructions. This in itself is barely surprising, as the male body has been described as “the primary agent of hegemonic masculinity” (Martin and Govender 2011, 221). This is also supported by other studies: In their comparison of homosexual and heterosexual gymactive males, Brown and Graham (2008) found that gay men who are classified as rather feminine use the gym to develop a greater sense of masculinity. The gym, as such, becomes a place where masculinity can be increased and validated; it is a place in which men can use their bodies to construct non-verbal and verbal communication behaviors that place them closer to the hegemonic ideal. In her analysis of bodybuilding star Arnold Schwarzenegger, Boyle (2010) argues that “the built body as a laboring body is seriously complicated by the goal of bodybuilding, which is to display muscles rather than to demonstrate their utility” (159). This means that the masculine body is feminized and subject to homoeroticism (Boyle 2010). Taking a different approach to the positioning of the male body as an object of desire, White and Gillett (1994) state that “the [bodybuilder’s] muscular body as masculine is valorized, and identified with, as an object of desire to be sculpted and presented in exchange for recognition of its social value” (21). This becomes particularly important in times when traditionally male domains (such as aforementioned commercial labor) have come under threat (White and Gillett 1994). In times when 1

It is important to acknowledge my privilege in this context. As a white, male, able-bodied individual from a Western country, it was easier for me to gain access to hegemonic experiences in the United States, and I was less likely to experience what Whannel (2007) describes as the “strait-jacket” (11) of hegemonic masculinity due to the configuration of my body.

Recreational Bodybuilding as Cultural Transformation

15

characteristics such as aggression, competitiveness, and leadership can be openly expressed by women, “men’s muscles are all that remain as visible symbol of their masculinity” (Choi 2003, 79). Similarly, my experience shows that I relied primarily on my body to align myself with the hegemonic norm in the U.S. College gym. It had become obvious to me in my friendship with Spencer that it was our bodies that most significantly distinguished my masculine identity from that of Spencer, unmasking the non-essentialist nature of my masculinity as well as the hierarchical nature of our co-existing masculinities. Even though recreational bodybuilding had offered me an opportunity to express my identity, it was now my body that, in the words of Connell, created “trouble” (Connell 1990, 89) due to its lack of somatic compliance and nonconformity with the social definition. For Spencer and I, our bodies herewith became the primary agents in the communicative construction of our masculine identities. Spencer’s blunt condemnation of my shaved armpits offers a fruitful example of differences in cultural perceptions of what it means to be a man. While my shaved armpits had been seen as a sign of masculine maturity and source of female desire in Germany, they were now a part of my body that visually estranged me from the idealized form of masculinity in the culture of the U.S. college gym. More importantly, it was through my body—through my shaved armpits and through the clothes that I covered my body with—that a foreign masculine identity was communicated to Spencer, and it was through my body that I quickly learned to develop communicative behaviors that allowed me to access masculine scripts that would place me closer to the hegemonic ideal.

Masculinity as a tool of cultural transformation: The value of my story The warm May sun shines bright into my eyes through the large glass front of the Recreation Center. The tingly feeling of my face tells me that my preworkout has finally kicked in. I walk back over to the squat rack next to the one Spencer has blocked for himself, and put another 25lbs-plate on each side of my squat bar. I close my eyes for a moment, and focus all my energy on my second-last set of squats laying ahead of me. Just two more reps. “I’m ready,” I say as I open my eyes. Spencer moves behind me to spot me. I get under the bar and place it below my neck. With one distinct push, I throw the bar on my back, take three tiny steps back, and push my butt as close to the ground as my joints allow without having my knees pass me toes. “Ok and now push up,” I hear Spencer say, and I follow promptly. I push up as hard as I can, but I feel like my shoulders are pulled

16

Chapter One to the floor by invisible strings. “You got this, man,” Spencer reassures me, and with a determined groan I push myself up into an upright position with the last bit of energy I have left. “Damn, dude, three 45s and a 25 on each side? That’s a new PR,” Spencer shouts, and I get excited about my newest achievement. “Obviously, it’s all because of my excellent personal training skills.” I have to admit that Spencer is right to a certain extent. For the past five months, I have followed Spencer’s every move in and outside the gym as if I was his shadow. He showed me what to eat, when to eat it, when to work out what muscle group, when to do cardio, and what supplements to order to achieve optimal training results. We had started a new workout at the beginning of the semester. Each day, we trained a different muscle group. Six days of the week we came to the gym with only one goal: muscle failure, which meant muscle increase after the regeneration period. The work out sessions were more exhausting than before, but my discipline has not gone unnoticed, neither to me nor to others. I have gained 18 pounds since the start of the semester. I can tell that my arms look bigger, my shoulders are wider, my legs less skinny, and my abs more defined. I look into the mirror straight ahead of me, and feel satisfied. Over the past weeks, I have received many compliments about the transformation of my body. From “I can definitely tell you beat your ass off in the gym, man” over “Dude, you look HUGE” to a simple “nice body”—I appreciated all compliments. I did beat my ass off in the gym. Sure, I had Spencer to help me get started, but it was me who increased his weight each week. It was me who disciplined himself to follow a strict diet that supports my lifting goals. And it was me who got up every other morning to go on a run before class. I look at my reflection in the mirror again. Under my arms, I can see a fraction of bushy black hairs. I hadn’t shaved my armpits in weeks.

The gym became a prime place for me to not only learn about what it means to be a man in the United States, but also to adopt communicative behaviors and practices that would bring me as close to the hegemonic ideal of masculinity as possible. I had built what Hensley (2011) describes as a “house of muscle” and, more accurately, an “embodied hegemonic masculine shell” (61). It was my “hegemonic shell” that allowed me to transcend my overt status as outsider not only in the gym, but also in the wider cultural environment that made up my experience as an international student in the Midwest. Presumably trivial things such as growing out my armpit hair or putting on long shorts are overt expressions of a body—my body—used to communicate a privileged form of masculinity. As such, my communicative performance of shifting forms of masculinity allowed me to transcend the imagined borders of difference through the careful creation, communication, and negotiation of cross-cultural masculinities.

Recreational Bodybuilding as Cultural Transformation

17

In his autoethnographic essay on his experiences as a competitive natural bodybuilder, Garratt (2015) shows impressively that “the performative natural bodybuilder is … a veritable chameleon, reconfiguring for the audience, and further adapting behaviors to suit the assumed expectations and requirements of particular social situations” (348). As a recreational bodybuilder who, and this is at the heart of my story, was an international student thrown into an unfamiliar cultural environment, I became a “veritable chameleon” myself. It was due to the careful friction between cross-cultural masculinities in general, and the hegemonic masculine ideal embodied by Spencer (and later myself) in particular, that I was able to communicate a masculine identity that was constructed in close psychological and physical proximity to the hegemonic ideal. As such, the ability to perform hegemonic masculinity through recreational bodybuilding in the College gym has not only offered me a process of cultural adaptation. It has, more importantly, offered me a process of cultural transformation.

References Alvarez, Erick. Muscle Boys: Gay Gym Culture. New York: Haworth Press, 2008. Boyle, Ellexis. “Marketing Muscular Masculinity in Arnold: The Education of a Bodybuilder.” Journal of Gender Studies 19(2010): 153-166. Bridges, Tristan S. “Gender Capital and Male Bodybuilders.” Body & Society 15(2009): 83-107. Brookes, Rod. Representing Sport. New York: Oxford University Press, 2002. Brown, Jac, and Doug Graham. “Body Satisfaction in Gym-Active Males: An Exploration of Sexuality, Gender, and Narcissism.” Sex Roles 59(2008): 94-106. Choi, Precilla Y. L.. “Muscle Matters: Maintaining Visible Differences Between Women and Men.” Sexualities, Evolution & Gender 5(2003): 71-81. Connell, Raewyn. Gender and Power: Society, the Person, and Sexual Politics. Stanford: Stanford University Press, 1987. —. “An Iron Man: The Body and Some Contradictions of Hegemonic Masculinity.” In Sport, Men, and the Gender Order: Critical Feminist Perspectives, edited by Michael A. Messner and Don F. Sabo, 83-95. Champaign: Human Kinetics Books, 1990.

18

Chapter One

Denham, Bryan E. “Masculinities in Hardcore Bodybuilding.” Men & Masculinities 11(2008): 234-242. Ellis, Carolyn. The Ethnographic I: A Methodological Novel About Autoethnography. Walnut Creek: AltaMira Press, 2004. —. “Preface: Carrying the Torch for Autoethnography.” In Handbook of Autoethnography, edited by Stacy H. Jones, Tony E. Adams, and Carolyn Ellis, 9-12. Walnut Creek: Left Coast Press, 2013. Ellis, Carolyn, Tony E. Adams, and Arthur P. Bochner. “Autoethnography: An Overview.” Historical Social Research 36(2011): 273-290. Ellis, Carolyn, and Arthur P. Bochner. “Autoethnography, Personal Narrative, Reflexivity: Researcher as Subject.” In The Handbook of Qualitative Research, edited by Norman K. Denzin and Yvonna S. Lincoln, 733-768. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, 2000. Garratt, Dean. “Psychoanalytic-Autoethnography: Troubling Natural Bodybuilding.” Qualitative Inquiry 21(2015): 343-353. Hensley, Brandon. “Performing Heteronormativity, Hegemonic Masculinity, and Constructing a Body from Bullying.” Florida Communication Journal 39(2011): 55-65. Kennedy, Eileen. “Watching the Game: Theorising Masculinities in the Context of Mediated Tennis.” In Sport and Gender Identities: Masculinities, Femininities and Sexualities, edited by Cara Carmichael Aitchison, 22-33. New York: Routledge, 2007. Klein, Alan M. Little Big Men: Bodybuilding Subculture and Gender Construction. Albany: University of New York Press,1993. Martin, Jarred, and Kaymarlin Govender. “‘Making Muscle Junkies’: Investigating Traditional Masculine Ideology, Body Image Discrepancy, and the Pursuit of Muscularity in Adolescent Males.” International Journal of Men’s Health 10(2011): 220-239. Tan, Yue, Ping Shaw, Hong Cheng, and Kwangmi Ko Kim. “The Construction of Masculinity: A Cross-Cultural Analysis of Men’s Lifestyle Magazine Advertisements.” Sex Roles 69(2013): 237-249. Whannel, Garry. “Mediating Masculinities: The Production of Media Representations in Sport.” In Sport and Gender Identities: Masculinities, Femininities and Sexualities, edited by Cara Carmichael Aitchison, 8-21. New York: Routledge, 2007. White, Philip G., and James Gillett. “Reading the Muscular Body: A Critical Decoding of Advertisements in Flex Magazine.” Sociology of Sport Journal 11(1994): 18-39. Wiegers, Yvonne. “Male Bodybuilding: The Social Construction of a Masculine Identity.” Journal of Popular Culture 32(1998): 147-161.

Recreational Bodybuilding as Cultural Transformation

19

Zayer, Linda Tuncay, and Cele C. Otnes. “Climbing the Ladder or Chasing a Dream? Men’s Responses to Idealized Portrayals of Masculinity in Advertising.” In Gender, Culture, and Consumer Behavior, edited by Cele C. Otnes and Linda Tuncay Zayer, 87-110. New York: Routledge, 2012.

CHAPTER TWO “LOVE WOMEN AND HATE FAGGOTS!”: CONTRADICTIONS IN IDENTITY CONCEPTION AND PERFORMANCE ANTONIO SPIKES

Contradictions. I hate contradictions. And yet, I call myself an intercultural communication scholar in training (technically a PhD student) who believes that identity is not stable, for it remains in a state of flux. This idea has led me to areas such as critical race theory (Bell 1980; Crenshaw 1991), Black feminist thought (Collins 2009; Griffin 2012), and queer theory (Butler 1999; Muñoz 1999; Sedgwick 1990). Considering how identities are constituted in a complicated matrix of social, cultural, and political forces, people can experience their lives in both congruent, and contradictory ways. I generally see myself as a Black gay male experiencing contradictions in his identity and performance thereof. In the following narratives, I would like for you, the reader, to look at a series of events where a young Black male contends with forces such as racism, masculinity, heterosexism, and his religious identity at the intersections of race, gender, and sexuality. Before that, a note about the method and concepts that undergird this examination.

Autoethnography Telling one’s story is a risky endeavor (Jackson 2013; Jones, Adams, and Ellis, 2013). Originally, I thought I had no stories worth telling. But everyone has a story. Even if one’s narrative lacks dramatic tension, that account provides the means to examine oneself in relation to another (Anderson 2006). Exposing our narrated selves to the world invites people to see us, and it also invites writers to connect with others through the

Contradictions in Identity Conception and Performance

21

conceptualization of our narratives. It is, however, risky to expose it within academic circles that might not value experiential knowledge because it cannot be quantified. Even though I value quantitative studies that seek to represent communication phenomena via numbers and statistics, there are other enriching means of studying communication, such as through narratives. As Bochner and Ellis state, “communication should be not only what we study but how we represent what we study; that is, in stories that connect to readers” (2016, 36). Thus, autoethnography is the use of narratives to examine one’s own experiences within the broader contexts of power, society, and social relations. Additionally, autoethnography is more than simply telling your story. It is also positioning your narrative in relation to larger systems of power, discourse, and peoples (Allen-Collinson 2013). Or, as Toyosaki and Pensoneau-Conway state, “autoethnography is the very labor that textures our (inter)subjective selves, the reltationships we engage in, and the communities of which we become apart through autoethnographic telling” (2013, 563). Autoethnography not only gains its strength by making the researcher the focus of the study/story, but also allows the researcher to connect him/herself to other stories (Gannon 2013). It allows the reader to see how issues such as identity formation, intercultural communication, pedagogy, and dialectical tensions are engaged with on the quotidian level. Doing this enables scholars to use our own “personal experience(s) to examine and/or critique cultural experience(s)” (Jones, Adams, and Ellis 2013, 22). This autoethnography serves to examine the intersections of race, gender and sexuality and to explore how disruptions and contradictions can occur between avowed and ascribed identities. In the next section, I specifically cover literature on intersectionality, Black masculinity and performance.

Intersectionality and the performances of black masculinities I first encountered intersectionality, as conceptualized by Crenshaw (1995), in my Critical Race Theory class. When I used it in an assignment, I felt a sense of relief. While I always knew identities were inherently intersectional, I often felt guilty for thinking in this nuanced way. Encountering an author who proposed that one should examine the impact of identity through a complex lens provided me the courage to say that my race, gender, sexuality, regional as well as religious identity all contributed to creating Antonio Spikes.

22

Chapter Two

Examining identity through an intersectional lens requires a commitment to resisting singular identity politics (Crenshaw 1995). For example, I have experienced contradictions of interests between myself and members of the Black and gay community. With the insistence with which Black people call for heterosexist family structures, my existence was rendered illegible and invisible (Neale 2013). Even in the gay community, young White men are the dominant representation. Despite this, my identity as a Black gay male is historically situated with identities that often pursue contradicting agendas for liberation (Crenshaw 1995), especially when it comes to Black masculinity. Alexander refers to Black masculinity as “a site of public and private contestation” that reflects “competing investments in Black masculinity that are historical and localized, affecting notions of intellect and character, as well as virility and fertility” (2006, 74) If Black masculinity is indeed a result of competing investments, then who is/are making the investments? As an example, I viewed my father’s personal stake in the reinforcement of traditional masculinity as being reflective of maintaining status and safety. As many men can attest, there are consequences for not embodying toxic forms of masculinity. LGBT and non-conforming boys, unfortunately, have witnessed this pain of not following the crowd, which ranges from isolation to death (Johnson 2008). However, the Black male body is also positioned as a site of contradiction. As Griffin said in her critical race critique of the NBA, “although discursively marked as a site of terror, the Black male body ironically represents a desired mystique that has been consumed, sold, and exploited under the surveillance of the White colonial gaze” (2012, 167). This mystique takes the form of commodifying admirations of Black male athleticism. Relating to interest convergence (Bell 1980), one could say the reputation of dread that was imposed on the Black male body was put aside in favor of boosting the status and income of the U.S. American elite. The tension, in this context, becomes the competing interests between the Black community, the mainstream society, and the individual Black male’s expectations of his masculine identity. The stereotypes that Black men had to endure wered created decades before I was born. Many were cultivated within slavery, with fabled notions of Black male aggression, sexual lasciviousness, and our super strength. Black communities today have internalized these oppressive notions of Black masculinity. These normative scripts affect how people see our capacity to form and ponder complex thought and how strong and virile we are. Against the historical backdrop of being denied hegemonic masculinity, Black men try to reclaim this masculine space, sometimes

Contradictions in Identity Conception and Performance

23

using of homophobic and sexist discourse (Ikard 2013). In the social contexts of Black men’s lives, these heteronormative patriarchal notions of Black masculinity are affirmed while these very same scripts could stereotype Black men as inherently dangerous. Moreover, these competing notions reflect the stakes in performing “acceptable” forms of Black masculinity. Butler (1999) contends that gender consists of repetitious acts that embody gender identity. When I first read Butler (1999), I could definitely see how my masculinity was related. From the time my father made his ideas about masculinity known to me, to the times my mother would chastise me for swaying my hips and acting “soft,” my performance of masculinity was determined for me. That is to say, my performance as a Black boy was determined by social, cultural, and political forces I could not identify as a child, but as an adult I can easily highlight (Berger and Luckmann 1967). Even though Butler (1999) applied performativity to drag queen performances, she was making a larger point about how identity is typically understood. The repetitious “nature” of acts highlights its instability. If an act’s legitimacy is situated within repetition, then interrupting the repetition disrupts its naturalness. For example, masculinity for me has been understood as aggression, athleticism, physical perfection, and heterosexuality. These repeated performances are what lead me and my whole community to believe these actions were the only way to embody masculinity. The way to change this, however, is to disrupt the presumed normality of hegemonic masculinity by enacting it differently. To perform an identity differently not only questions the normality of that said identity, but also reveals the “naturalness” of the identity to be nothing more than a fiction (Butler 1999). In the following narratives, I position myself in relation to conversations about how identity becomes contradictory, changeable, flexible, and performative. Specifically, I engage my racial, gender, sexual, religious and emerging academic identity and how they produce moments of tension, contradiction, confusion, contestation, and disruptions between my avowed and ascribed identities. Doing so allows me to navigate between telling my story and conceptualizing aspects of my story to connect with the larger issues of racism, masculinity, heterosexism and Christianity. As Bochner (2013) states, autoethnography is the project of becoming more fully human. By reading these narratives, you will hopefully see the struggle to become recognized as human within the dehumanizing forces of oppression and privilege in my life

24

Chapter Two

Memories of violence I do remember a cloudy day in 1998 when I was nine years old. During that time, I was fascinated with the WWF (World Wrestling Federation, which is now referred to as World Wrestling Entertainment or WWE). At this time, I was living with my mother and had very little contact with my father. My life was characterized by having a single mother as the dominant parental figure. Within this context of my childhood, WWF (and WCW, which stood for World Championship Wrestling) fascinated me. Those big, muscular bodies that flew through the air, slamming into the ring I naively believed was a trampoline, painfully pushing heads into the turnbuckle, inflicting bloody gashes on arms, legs, and foreheads, and the general zany antics of “villainous” wrestlers such as the Undertaker and Kane created a rich (and problematic) imagination I loved to entertain. At some point, because my mother did not want to waste the few precious dollars she had on toys I might break, I used my own body to imitate the People’s Elbow, the Chokeslam, Pile-Drivers, and my favorite, the Tombstone, all signature moves by professional wrestlers. I imitated wrestling moves with my cousins successfully. I was so happy because I was able to prove my masculinity despite being a homebody book nerd who obviously watched too much television. Going back to that cloudy day, I was sitting in the house of one of my mother’s cousins. My mother and her cousin told me to go outside. Initially I protested, which sparked a very familiar rant/lecture about why boys should go outside and why it was okay for girls to stay inside. Normally, when my mother gave such lectures (when pressed by others), my protests were enough for her to drop the issue. However, she had backup. This led to my acquiescence. Upon going outside, I saw a lot of strange faces. The boys were all Black, however, that did not make me feel more comfortable. There were some familiar faces dotting the crowd. For instance, my mother’s cousin’s son was in the crowd. He was always nice to me and allowed me to play with his video games, at least until someone would force us (or me specifically) to go outside and play. Then there was my cousin (specifically my first cousin) who was four years older than me. In the backyard, there was a basketball present and the kids were dribbling and passing it along. That was the only thing you can do when the only basketball goal in the neighborhood was broken by someone’s ill-attempt at a slam dunk. Then one of the strangers started talking about wrestling, specifically the WWF. What was once occupied by the sounds of a basketball hitting

Contradictions in Identity Conception and Performance

25

the dirt became filled with excited Black boys talking about Kane, the Undertaker, and wondering who was Goldust, a queer character in the WWF. I was able to join the conversation, giving my opinion on whether or not wrestling was “real,” whether Stone-Cold Steve Austin would return to the WWF after being hit by a car, and just shooting the breeze. I was finally becoming one of the guys. Then one boy picked up another. Others followed suit and sooner or later we had our own imitation of a battle royale. (Un)Fortunately, we were play acting so our intentions were to avoid seriously hurting each other. Although I considered myself, as a homebody book nerd, resistant against stereotypical notions of masculinity, it never occurred to me that play-acting violence reinforced these stereotypes. Sooner or later, I thought it would be a great idea to do the “people’s elbow,” which is the signature move of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, on my cousin. While he was face first on the ground, I executed the move. I seriously hurt his back. He barely could get up from the ground, much less move. Despite all of this, he did not tell the adults. As a matter of fact, when my mother and her cousin came out to the backyard to see what all the commotion was about, he tried to pass it off as a minor injury. (Un)Fortunately, the ruse worked. My mother gave me the run of the mill “be careful” message and the incident was over, at least outwardly. Inwardly, I was coming to realize that I harmed my cousin. Seeing his pain, I didn’t have the same relationship with WWF as I had prior. This narrative evinces the experiential effects of problematic masculinities. In essence, I harmed another person under the guise of play. Indeed, the everydayness of violent masculinities is so terrifying to think about. However, I think the power of narratives comes in the ability to describe and depict in detail how problematic some masculine performances can be, especially to those who doubt the seriousness of it.

Revisiting/resisting the love women/hate faggots “dialogue” “Your only job is to love women and hate faggots!” *Sigh* To his credit, he only used this exact sentence once in our conversations. However, it is a sentence that has stayed with me thus far and probably will for the rest of my life. I do not remember the exact event, or lack of events, that led to this specific conversation. What I do remember is sitting in the passenger side of his dark blue 1996 Chevrolet

Chapter Two

26

1500, cruising through the partially-lit and narrow streets of Vidalia, Georgia on our way back home. Hearing that statement as a 15-year-old Black boy who was coming to terms with his gay identity unnerved me. No, it angered me. There was so much anger welling up inside of me that I finally understood the phrase “makes my blood boil.” However, instead of blowing up at my father, I tried to cool down my blood and answer in a partially sarcastic way. “Really?” “Really.” “Really, so my whole life should be around loving women and hating gay people?” “Yes.” What a sad way to live! A narrow range for a Black boy like me to move in the world. Was it enough that I struggled with body image issues? Now I had to deal with this. Or maybe -- *sigh* To be truthful, this wasn’t the first time we had conversations about masculinity. My father had made it plain pre-conversation that he thought of masculinity in a very narrow way: aggressive, heterosexual, (hyper) masculine, sturdy oak (no feelings).This is not a form of masculinity; it is the form. Because I, as a child, did not fit with most of those descriptions (not a sturdy oak, not heterosexual, unsuccessfully aggressive, and nonathletic), I regularly contested his definition. This was supposed to be yet another conversation where our masculine identities and experiences contested each other. The conversation continued. “So I can’t do other things? I can’t center my life on having a career or, you know, trying to get out of Vidalia?” Even though these conversations were infuriating, I knew how to navigate them. I strategically employed a rags to riches element. Although we boys were taught to embody toxic masculinity, we were also taught to do whatever we could to get out of poverty and/or our hometown to make something of ourselves. He was (and still is) a sucker for such Projects to Gated Community narratives, or in our case, Trailer to Mansion narratives, and I took advantage of that as a strategic and protective move.

Contradictions in Identity Conception and Performance

27

“Well,” He actually hesitated. “When it comes down to it, every man’s life comes down to those basic, very basic things.”

Religious experiences overrated? Oh please, do not get me started on religion and the Black community. Ok, I’m started. Don’t worry. For those who strongly identify with Christianity, particularly in the Black community, this is not a bash fest. Rather, it is an honest commentary and conceptual discussion about my life within an environment that is heavily Christian. My earlier experiences with the church, or “the Black church,” specifically, were a mixture of boredom, frustration, comfort, discomfort, and appreciation. These aren’t all of the adjectives that describe my experiences, but these will do for the time being. I do remember my earliest experience of the Black church being somewhat traumatic. As a four-year-old child, I remember being in a church whose interior was a greenish gray. The benches were brown and hard, and the people were loud and jumping for joy. As a young child, I did not know what to make of it. All of a sudden, people were screaming, running around, falling over themselves, and weeping uncontrollably. You would probably think something cataclysmic just occurred. Actually, they had just caught the Holy Spirit. I still don’t understand this particular ritual despite being raised in the Black church, but understanding it was the least of my worries when I saw my mother yelling, convulsing, falling on her back and still convulsing while speaking in a language I did not understand. Terrified, I did the only thing a four-year-old could do: call out to his mother. Others beside me who weren’t afflicted by this scary ghost were laughing, thinking it was cute. At that moment, however, I felt there was nothing funny about a strange man (the pastor) putting his hands on people’s foreheads and causing them to lose their minds. Again, perhaps that was a bit too dramatic for what happened, but from that moment, I began to form my relationship with the Black church from a complicated distance, never truly trusting it, but at the same time, never wanting to cut ties with it. For years, I have occupied this tense and contradictory space where I both loved the Black church and despised it. I loved the sense of community, compassion, and caring that was provided to me and others during hard times and I despised the way community, compassion, and caring wasn’t given to others for superficial reasons. For many Black gay men, this is our experience in a nutshell (Miller 2007).

28

Chapter Two

I am aware that the Black church has a legacy of social justice (Douglas 1999). Without it, African and African-American slaves would not have successfully navigated and eliminated slavery and Jim Crow, nor would African Americans have been able to continue the fight against other oppressive reincarnations. Not only does the Black church provide political, social, and cultural guidance, but it also provides spiritual guidance as well. However, if you would have told me that the Black church had a legacy of social justice, I would have looked at you with a puzzling expression. I was given no such indication of this growing up. For me, the Black church has served both as a source of spiritual guidance and spiritual control. Even before I knew I was gay, I knew this to be true. I appreciated the insight into God’s nature on certain days when I felt down, but also could have done without messages of condemnation on other days, again when I felt down. Coming into my sexual identity made it difficult for me to maintain this space of contradiction, however I persevered precisely because I did not know what I would do without this community of well-meaning individuals. They were my family after all. Church life, for a while, was both my ambrosia and my poison. “I have been doing some readings in the Bible, and, I don’t think homosexuality is a sin.” Exactly five years ago, I had a “dialogue” with all four of my aunts, my mother’s sisters. During that time, I’ve always held my mother’s side of the family in higher esteem than my father’s side. From my viewpoint, my father’s family held nothing more than bigots and drunks, which was a dangerous combination. My mother’s side, however, held people who were compassionate towards others and strived to understand and accept people, even when they disagree with someone. Such an interpretation, of course, was not realistic. Being in the closet is interesting, to say the least. From the standpoint of a person whose performance of race and gender coheres, more or less, with dominant perceptions of both categories, I was able to use the closet to my own advantage. During my most humorous moments, I fancied myself a spy. Although ridiculous in my imagination, it was not so in reality. Performing the good ole Christian boy had its perks. Performing the emerging academic also had its perks. However, when I tried to perform these identities simultaneously, disastrous results occurred. “Boy, stop playing. Everybody know that stuff is wrong.”

Contradictions in Identity Conception and Performance

29

“No, I’m serious. I don’t think so. Most of the verses people use to say it is wrong come from the Old Testament. Comparing those verses with how Jesus Christ told us to read it, I’m not sure it is as easy as saying it is wrong outright.” “Lord, I ask you to bless our nephew.” You call this a blessing! “Please cleanse him of his sins!” Is this a cleansing? “Boy if you don’t stop…” one of my aunts said while waving a pointy candle holder in front of my face. You would think I came out to them, however, that is not the case. I wished I researched more into the reactions that people would have towards beliefs that contradicted theirs. Then again, no amount of research could prepare me for what I saw during that day. The caring aunts that I came to love all of my life became something else entirely: hateful, emotionally violent, verbally violent, and otherwise, not my aunties. Exhausted, I looked at my watch and realized I spent four hours at my aunt’s house, trying to convince them that homophobia has no place within a Christian identity. Four hours listening to them say “they’re not homophobic” and “fags and dykes” in the same sentence! Four hours hearing them belittle my intelligence. Four exhausting hours of them sundering my Christian identity, doubting the presence of God in my life, and putting forth a hateful and vengeful form of God that I knew in my heart was not the right one. And for what? Convenience! Fear of difference! Fear of change! Or maybe, love? What a sick and twisted version of love I experienced. Conversations afterwards with my aunts about the incident conveyed this element of love. They did all of that because they were concerned for me. I am the only child of my mother, their dead sister. They had to make sure I stayed on the right path. In some ways, it was touching that they cared so much for me they were…willing to hurt me? Currently, thinking about that part of my life is still painful, rife with confusion about how I see my family members now. I no longer see my mother’s side of the family in an exalting manner. Rather, I see them as almost like everyone else: diverse, but mostly on the same page in terms of Christianity and homosexuality. To be clear, I do not see them as evil, or completely hateful, I still maintain good relations with them. More importantly, I realized that my identity as the “smart boy” who was finding success in academia would not save me from homophobia.

30

Chapter Two

Even though I was raised to be a “smart boy,” that reputation could be instantly questioned if I do not adhere to dominant ideologies related to sexuality and religion. I realized that I was labeled as such because I was the mouthpiece of respectability politics. At that moment, I said no more. My intellect, my beliefs, indeed, my very identity, will be cultivated in opposition to what I perceive as oppression.

Conclusion As implied in the introduction, the purpose of this piece is to explore African American gay identity using an intersectional analytical approach. Not only to explore and observe this, but also to see how one can perform identity from an intersectional standpoint. To do so, I used myself and my frame of reference through which I have experienced life so far under the methodological guidance of autoethnography. One of the benefits of this methodology is to see how current topics that we regularly engage with as academics get practiced in the mundane level of our lives. Also, to further close the divide between the researcher and the subject by making the researcher the subject instead. Doing so brings home the notion that as researchers, we are also a part of the phenomenon we study. We also participate in various forms of identity formation. We also experience fluxes and contradictions in our identities. Observing how we engage these topics, in both mundane and dramatic fashion, can help us link the nuances of our lives to large issues of identity, power, and performance. In these vignettes, people from my own life are presented in character format. I bring them into this piece (as characters) to underscore how important they were to my identity process, for good or ill. As Gannon states, “the text of the self is also, simultaneously, a text that brings others into being, too” (2013, 230). Even though some of my relatives were presented in a negative light, this wasn’t done to be spiteful or mean. I am, however, uninterested in excusing their homophobic and ignorant comments about my identity. Rather, their place in my narratives serves not only as the space where identities are constructed, but also as a cautionary tale about the process of identity construction itself. They serve to reveal how hard, and sometimes not so hard, writing families is, and how families are important to one’s performance of power and identity. All of these characters serve to highlight how I experienced disruptions of avowed and ascribed identities at the intersections of race, gender, sexuality, class, and religion.

Contradictions in Identity Conception and Performance

31

References Alexander, Bryant Keith. Performing Black masculinity: Race, culture and queer identity. Lanham: Altamira Press, 2006. Allen-Collinson, Jacquelyn. “Autoethnography as the engagement of self/other, self/culture, self/politics, and selves/futures.” In Handbook of autoethnography, edited by Stacy Holman Jones, Tony E. Adams, and Carolyn Ellis, 281-99. Walnut Creek: Left Coast Press, Inc, 2013. Anderson, Leon. “Analytic autoethnography,” Journal of Contemporary Ethnography 35(2006): 373-95. Bell, Derrick A. Shades of Brown: New perspectives on school desegregation. New York: Teachers College Press, 1980. Berger, Peter L, and Thomas Luckmann. The social construction of reality: A treatise in the sociology of knowledge. Garden City: Anchor, 1967. Bochner, Arthur P. “Putting meanings into motion: Autoethnography’s existential calling.” In Handbook of autoethnogaphy, edited by Stacy Holman Jones, Tony E. Adams, and Carolyn Ellis, 50-56. Walnut Creek: Left Coast Press, Inc, 2013. Bochner, Arther P. and Carolyn Ellis. Evocative Autoethnography: Writing lives and telling stories. New York: Routledge, 2016. Butler, Judith. Gender trouble: Feminism and the subversion of identity. New York: Routledge, 1999. Collins, Patricia Hill. Black feminist thought: Knowledge, consciousness, and the politics of empowerment. New York: Routledge, 2009. Crenshaw, Kimberlé. “Mapping the Margins: Intersectionality, Identity Politics, and Violence Against Women of Color.” Stanford Law Review 43(1991): 1241-99. Douglas, Kelly Brown. Sexuality and the Black church: A womanist perspective. Maryknoll: Orbis Books, 1999. Gannon, Susanne. “Sketching Subjectivities.” In Handbook of autoethnography, edited by Stacy Holman Jones, Tony E. Adams, and Carolyn Ellis, 228-43. Walnut Creek: Left Coast Press, Inc, 2013. Griffin, Rachel Alicia. “I AM an angry Black woman: Black feminist autoethnography, voice, and resistance.” Women’s Studies in Communication 35(2012): 138-57. —. “The disgrace of commodification and shameful convenience: A critical race critique of the NBA.” Journal of Black Studies 43(2012): 161-85. Ikard, David H. Blinded by the whites: Why race still matters in the 21st century America. Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 2013.

32

Chapter Two

Jackson, Michael. The Politics of Storytelling: Variations on a Theme by Hannah Arendt. Copenhagen: Museum Tusculanum Press, 2013. Jackson, Ronald L., and Mark C. Hopson. “Introduction.” In Masculinity in the Black imagination: Politics of communicating race and manhood, edited by Ronald L. Jackson and Mark C. Hopson, 1-6. New York: Peter Lang Publishing, Inc, 2011. Johnson, E. Patrick. Sweet tea: Black gay men of the south. Chapel Hill: University of North Carolina Press, 2008. Jones, Stacy Holman, Tony E. Adams, & Carolyn Ellis. “Introduction: Coming to know autoethnography as more than a method.” In Handbook of autoethnography, edited by Stacy Holman Jones, Tony E. Adams, and Carolyn Ellis, 17-48. Walnut Creek: Left Coast Press, Inc, 2013. Miller, Robert L. “Legacy denied: African American gay men, AIDS, and the Black church.” Social Work 52(2007): 51-61. Muñoz, José Esteban. Disidentifications: Queers of color and the performance of politics. Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 1999. Sedgwick, Eve Kosofsky. Epistemology of the closet. Los Angeles: University of California Press, 1990. Toyosaki, Satoshi., and Sandra L. Pensoneau-Conway. “Autoethnography as a praxis of social justice: Three ontological contexts.” In Handbook of autoethnography, edited by Stacy Holman Jones, Tony E. Adams, and Carolyn Ellis, 557-75). Walnut Creek: Left Coast Press, Inc, 2013.

CHAPTER THREE BOYS WILL BE GIRLS AND GIRLS WILL BE BOYS LAURA FINLEY AND BARRY UNIVERSITY STUDENTS

Introduction As social constructions, gender role norms inform people on how they are expected to dress, look, and behave as a result of the sexual characteristics that are presumed to be tied to their gender identity. Although these norms have changed over time, and people are now beginning to recognize that gender is far less binary and much more fluid, there remains a certain rigidity in societal expectations for males and females. Because the U.S. is still a patriarchal society, males and all things associated with masculinity are generally prized over females and femaleassociated qualities. When someone does challenge those rigid gender role norms, they often face disapproval or even violence, and many people spend time, money and resources “policing” their own and other people’s gender. This is to the detriment of both males and females. After reviewing the literature on gender role norms and the ways they harm both men and women, this chapter offers reflections from college students about their gender identification and the best and worst things about the way they identify. The chapter concludes with analysis of key themes from the student responses and offers helpful teaching resources and ideas for college educators.

Gender role norms Sociologists recognize that sex refers to one’s anatomical parts and other biological factors, while gender is a social construction (Lorber 1994). That is, societies create expectations, or gender role norms, for boys and girls, women and men. Since they are socially created, gender

34

Chapter Three

role norms change over time. For instance, today pink is generally considered to be a “girl’s” color, while blue is for boys. This is especially true when one looks at clothing, toys, and other items for children. Yet before the 1920s, most parents dressed both their boys and girls in white gowns until approximately age six because they were easy to bleach. A retailer shifted to pastels in 1918, proclaiming pink the color for boys because it was “stronger” and reserving the more delicate and dainty blue for girls. It’s not clear how well that notion stuck, but it wasn’t until the 1940s that the reversal in what was considered the appropriate color for boys and girls occurred (Boboltz 2014). High heels—almost exclusively associated with women in the U.S. today—were actually created by and for men. Persian soldiers wore them when riding horseback, as it made it easier to keep their feet in the straps while shooting arrows. Male European elites adopted them in the 1600s, and heel sizes grew as the leisure classes began to adopt them as well. Once women started wearing heels, men’s grew shorter until they were eventually out of vogue in the 1800s (Boboltz 2014). Similarly, lace was popular among both men and women from the 16th century until the 19th century because it was expensive and thus a status symbol (Boboltz 2014). An occupation that today is dominated by females—elementary school teaching—was once the exclusive domain of men. Similarly, in 1900, almost 85 percent of all clerical or secretarial work was performed by men (Boboltz 2014). Despite its fluidity, however, many people still see gender as a more or less fixed concept. We are constantly bombarded with new information about gender, so much that it’s impossible to absorb all of it. As such, we tend to use confirmation bias, or to pay attention to those pieces of information that are consistent with our beliefs and to disregard that which is not. “Accurate information about strong women leaders is everywhere, but powerful filters keep that information out of our awareness. Moreover, confirmation bias works because people don’t want to admit that their beliefs are wrong. It’s far easier to reaffirm old beliefs than to perform major surgery to change them” (Rivers and Barnett 2013, 162).

Amato (2008) explains, “We are all of us taught the subtle, and not so subtle, sex and gender norms required to make us upstanding citizens and eager, compliant consumers. Breaking or even bending the norms means suffering consequences. We learn these lessons early on” (223). Gender roles shape how we communicate with one another, with women socialized to apologize more than men in situations where they are

Boys Will Be Girls and Girls Will Be Boys

35

not to blame, in need of more praise, joke in a self-deprecating manner, and “vent” versus immediately problem-solve (Tannen 2007). While these differences in communication style are not necessarily weaknesses, in a patriarchal society in which males still dominate the major institutions like the workplace, they can be detrimental. That is, women who apologize often or seem to need more praise to ensure they are doing good work may be viewed by male superiors as less motivated and productive (Tannen 2007). Despite the stereotype that women are more talkative than men, numerous studies have found the opposite to be true. Whether in small or large groups, women speak approximately 75 percent as often as do men (Rivers and Barnett 2013). The more male leaders speak, the more they are generally viewed as competent. The reverse is true of women, who rate as less likeable and capable when they talk more (Rivers and Barnett 2013). “Both women and men expect high status individuals, men and women, to behave in ways that reflect their power—being forceful, clear and decisive. At the same time, we expect all women to be deferential, thoughtful and considerate of others” (Rivers and Barnett, 2013, 50). Gender roles norms also tell us how we are supposed to look. Women often suffer from low self-esteem, depression, and eating disorders, and spend money on cosmetics, surgeries and other alterations in an attempt to mold themselves into the unrealistic body types and looks that are ubiquitous in popular culture. Rivers and Barnett (2013) note that the typical female media ideal is attainable by less than five percent of the female population. According to data presented in Laura Bates’ (2016) Everyday Sexism, 31 percent of girls ages thirteen to seventeen admit to refusing to eat as a way to lose weight, and only 37 percent of girls responding to a 2013 survey were not trying to lose weight. The Representation Project found that the top “magic wish” for girls ages eleven to seventeen is to be thinner. Women face great pressure to look perfect—fit, thin, and young. This begins at very young ages. For instance, Monster High is a line of dolls aimed at tweens, “based on a world inhabited by makeup-caked, miniskirtclad ghosts and skeletons who provide the perfect excuse for a litany of (literally) bone-thin characters” (Bates 2016, p. 90). Magazines marketed to women and girls “are experts at creating precisely those hysterical ‘problems’ they claim to teach their readers to ‘fix’ and thus profit from in the meantime. And, as time goes on, the list of fabricated defects of the female body becomes increasingly ludicrous as new problems are desperately conjured up in order that reams of copy can be spun teaching us how to diet, what to buy, and how many sit-ups

36

Chapter Three constitute sufficiently self-despising penance for the crime of being normal” (Bates 2016, 205).

As Harding (2008) explains, when women feel bad about themselves because of their weight or other factors, they may feel lucky to have a man’s attention. But, “from there, it’s a frighteningly short leap to ‘You’d be lucky to be raped.’ Even if you never officially make that leap—and I really, really hope there aren’t women out there who would—you’re still essentially believing that you have no agency in your own sexual experiences” (Harding 2008, 72). Gender role norms also include double standards about sex. It is considered OK, even desirable, for men to be interested in sex, while women who are sexual are often dubbed sluts. In sexual interactions, men are taught to dominate while women may draw on their socialization to submit, which can be a contributing factor to sexual assault (Gallagher and Parrott 2011). Bates (2016) provides a poignant example of this sexual double standard. “In 2012, (Rush) Limbaugh was able to keep his job and his show despite launching a misogynistic barrage of abuse at law student Sandra Fluke, whose only ‘crime’ was to be invited to testify to Congress on the importance of including contraceptive coverage in health-insurance plans. Limbaugh attacked her repeatedly on air, labeling her a ‘slut’ and a ‘prostitute,’ suggesting that her parents should be ashamed of her and saying she was ‘having so much sex, it’s amazing she can still walk.’ With all the unimaginative persistence of a dog with a chew toy, he seemed unable to drop the subject, later adding, ‘If we are going to pay for your contraceptives, and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something for it, and I’ll tell you what it is. We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch’” (Bates 2016, 19).

Orientation events on campuses across the U.S. often feature these sexual stereotypes about men and women, such as “Rappers and Slappers,” “Slag ‘n’ Drag,” “CEOs and Corporate Hoes,” “Golf Pros and Tennis Hoes,” “Tarts and Vics,” “Pimps and Hoes,” and “Geeks and Sluts” (Bates 2016, 130). Women remain underrepresented in many occupations. Only 37 percent of staffers in US news rooms are female, while a 2013 study of the New York Times found only 19 percent of sources quoted were female (Bates 2016). In 2012, just 28 percent of speaking parts in the 100 most successful films were female, while just four percent of directors and12 percent of writers of those films were female (Bates 2016). Nearly onethird of those female characters were shown partially nude, compared to

Boys Will Be Girls and Girls Will Be Boys

37

nine percent of male characters. In family films released in the U.S, male characters outnumbered female characters three to one (Bates 2016). In a randomized, double-blind study, applicants for science-related positions at research universities sent identical CVs except some used male-sounding names and others used female-sounding names. The female applicants were rates as les competent and hireable than were the male applicant, and the males were recommended for higher starting salaries than were the females (Bates 2016). Rivers and Barnett (2013) note that, “Women have made dramatic gains in higher education and employment. For the first time, women make up half the educated labor force and earn the majority of advanced degrees. But these dramatic gains have not translated into money and influence. Women are not getting to the top at anything like the rate one would have expected, given their education and early promise. The needle hasn’t moved. It may be counterintuitive to think that education and employment don’t yield the sort of money and power that they do for men. But that is indeed the case” (1).

The typical college-educated woman earns approximately $20,000 per year less than a college-educated man in the same age group, while over a lifetime of work, a woman with a bachelor’s degree will earn one-third less than a man with the same degree. The same is true for graduates of the most elite universities, like Harvard (Rivers and Barnett 2013). Male chief financial officers make, on average, sixteen percent more than do their female counterparts (Rivers and Barnett 2013). Yet, “too many women think that all of the battles have been fought, that discrimination is a thing of the past and that the future will bring ever greater progress for them…So, men are afraid they will lose their status and power, and women are so delighted with their ‘progress’ that they don’t see the storm clouds overhead. These fears feed into a national narrative that says feminism is dead, women’s problems are over and in fact women may have gone too far and left men in the dust. In this narrative, there’s a ‘mancession,’ in which men are losing more jobs than women are, and a ‘boy crisis’ in education, in which boys are failing and girls are thriving. There’s a belief that women are assuming more and more power and will soon take over the influential roles in society, while young men lack ambition and will soon drift into irrelevance” (Rivers and Barnett 2013, 7-8).

Such a narrative dissuades political advocacy and feminist activism and stands in stark contrast to reality.

38

Chapter Three

Men are more likely to be promoted, especially if they are in middlemanagement, based on their perceived potential, while women must actually show they can perform, which is often difficult for a largely-male audience. When women do attempt to show their leadership and managerial potential, they are often viewed as less likeable. The same is true in politics, where forceful women are viewed as conniving and untrustworthy, both by males and by fellow females (Rivers and Barnett 2013). When men move into female-dominated professions, they make more than do females who are in parallel positions. The median weekly earning for a female social worker is $798, compared to $902 for a male social worker (Rivers and Barnett 2013). Conversely, women who work in male-dominated professions still lag behind men in wages and in representation in leadership or managerial positions (Rivers and Barnett 2013). “Men automatically get the benefit of the doubt. In the absence of evidence to the contrary, they are assumed to be hardworking, success-oriented and dedicated to the welfare of the organization. Not so for women, who don’t get that automatic pass. They have to demonstrate their competence; it’s not taken for granted. So, it’s especially important for women to selfpromote. Without specific information, people fall back on the female stereotype and assume that a woman is not competent, not fully committed, not productive, a ‘junior’ employee, and certainly not leadership material” (Rivers and Barnett 2013, 77).

Yet both men and women dislike women who self-promote, and that unlikeability can be a limiting factor in their potential to advance in the workplace. Not so for men, who are rewarded for self-promotion. Some 40 to 90 percent of women experience sexual harassment in the workplace (Rivers and Barnett 2013). Mothers face even more roadblocks to economic success. They are told that they must do it all—work long hours, take care of the house, and raise their kids to be world-changers. Working moms, however, are often denounced for not being able to parent adequately, despite data showing that kids whose mothers worked turn out just fine (Rivers and Barnett 2013). There is also what Ann Crittenden (2010) has called the “mommy tax,” in that working mothers make much less than do single women. The gap between mothers and single women is even larger than that between men and women (Rivers and Barnett 2013). Both males and females rate mothers as less committed, less competent, less deserving for employment and promotion, and more deserving of lower salaries. Single women are six times more likely to be recommended for hire than similarly situated mothers (Rivers and Barnett 2013). Married men with children face no

Boys Will Be Girls and Girls Will Be Boys

39

such problem; In fact, fathers receive higher salaries than do single men, and are 1.83 times more likely to be recommended for managerial positions (Rivers and Barnett 2013). Women still constitute a far smaller portion of the U.S. political system. Only 35 women have ever served as governor, compared to 2,300 men. Only 4 of the 112 Supreme Court justices have been women. In 2014, women ran one quarter of the biggest art museums in the U.S. yet earned a third less than their male counterparts (Bates 2016). When they do run for candidacy, they endure attacks on their looks and ability to parent in ways that men do not. As Bates (2016) observes, Hillary Clinton has been critiqued for not being feminine enough and for being too feminine, with coverage often focusing on her dress, hair, and emotions. When actor Ashley Judd was considering running for office in 2013, media critiqued her for appearing in nude scenes in films. Yet, at the same time, Anthony Weiner continued his run for Mayor of New York City, “unconcerned that his junk had been pinged around the Internet more times than a Grumpy Cat video” (Bates 2016, 50). When two female politicians disagree the discourse tends to “create the artificial idea that any two women in conflict with one another must be hormonal bitches having a gendered scrap,” while two male politicians disagreeing is just that (Bates 2016, 50). Many presume men and boys to be biologically predisposed to take more risks than women and girls. Yet there is a startling lack of data to support that conclusion. Rather, girls are still socialized to be princesses, and today, the “hottest” princess (Orenstein 2012). “Halloween costumes for girls are all about sparkles, fairies and princesses—nary an astronaut, police officer or superhero among them. Risk and accomplishment have no part in the Cinderella kiddie world” (Rivers and Barnett 2013, 111-112) Women are also presumed to be more caring, more nurturing, than males. Yet again, research does not support this contention. Rivers and Barnett (2013) explain, “Since almost everybody not only expects but also demands that women be caring, women fear the consequences of not being seen that way” (122). Another widespread misconception is that men avoid smart women. Yet data shows that educated women with higherearning jobs are less likely to divorce than are other women (Rivers and Barnett 2013). Media promotes this stereotype, however, with popular shows rarely depicting successful women who are also involved in healthy and loving relationships. People believe that progress for women is greater than it is in actuality, largely due to tokenism. As Rivers and Barnett (2013) note, “the high visibility of token women gives a false impression of how level the playing field really is. In truth, only 6 percent of CEOs of

40

Chapter Three

Fortune 100 companies are women, and there are only a handful of women in the U.S. Congress. The elevation of a few women doesn’t have much relevance to most of us-but it can make us think things are better than they are” (175). In 2011, the American Association of University Women (AAUW) found that 56 percent of girls had been sexually harassed at schools, but only 9 percent reported it (Bates 2016). Many school districts across the U.S. enacted dress code restrictions in the 2010s that focused exclusively on girls’ clothing, prohibiting such items as spaghetti straps, leggings, and yoga pants. Allegedly this will ensure a healthy educational environment and prohibit boys from being distracted. In one district, girls showed up wearing leggings and bearing placards with the phrase “Are my pants lowering your test scores?” (Bates 2016). Rivers and Barnett (2013) refer to the continued financial and other lags experienced by females a soft war on women, since “today’s barriers are more subtle and insidious than the old ones. It’s less a frontal assault than an ongoing and very effective guerilla movement. Now, bias operates under a welcoming façade; the bombs are under the surface, but they still explore. This isn’t a covert conspiracy to hold women back. Instead, it’s a perfect storm of economic, political and social factors that combine to threaten women’s progress” ( 5).

Yet men too face difficulties when gender roles are defined narrowly. “People who care about feminism ought to care about how sexist gender roles hurt men; partly because we're human beings, with a sense of justice and compassion for one another regardless of gender, and partly because the cause of feminism can only be helped by convincing more men that it'll be good for them, too” (Christina August 9, 2010) Stereotypical ideas about domesticity impact custody issues, largely in women’s favor (Berlatsky 2013). Men still feel huge pressure to make money, to be wealthy, and to make more than their wives or girlfriends (Christina August 9 2010). “The pressure on men to compete -- to win, and perhaps more importantly to care about winning -- can be intense. To be acceptably masculine, men are supposed to care passionately about their position on the primate hierarchy chain. And about other men's positions on said chain. Even not being interested in competitive sports is often greeted with bafflement at best and derision at worst” (Christina August 9 2010).

And, underlying the assumption that men will win is the expectation that they must be ready to fight—verbally, but physically as well, if

Boys Will Be Girls and Girls Will Be Boys

41

needed. This expectation is at odds with laws criminalizing assault, crimes for which men are disproportionately imprisoned. Additionally, men are supposed to always maintain a stiff upper lip—never cry, whine, or otherwise complain. While women face double standards when it comes to sex, men also feel pressures that are difficult to achieve. They often feel that they must be ready at any time, with anyone (Christina July 24 2010). Boys are more likely to be suspended or expelled from school than girls. They binge drink more and use more drugs than girls. Men are expected to be physically strong, but, as Christina (August 9 2010) notes, “this is a funny one. Because it's one that men have only a limited degree of control over. Sure, you can work out and buff yourself up to some degree. But if your natural build is small and slight, you're not going to turn yourself into Vin Diesel no matter how hard you try. It's deeply weird to have a male gender expectation that's not only rigid and narrow, but literally unachievable for a large portion of the male population. It's deeply weird to make men feel like losers for losing a game that's rigged from the start.”

Filipovic (2008) discusses how males are defined as “not women,” noting that men who demonstrate characteristics that are “traditionally associated with femaleness—passivity, gentleness, willingness to be sexually penetrated—have their masculinity questioned. The most obvious example is gay men, who are routinely characterized as ‘effeminate’ for transgressing the boundaries of gender and of the act of sex itself” (19). The suicide rate for men is four times higher than for women. Males are also dissatisfied with their bodies (with 43 percent saying so in 2006) (Bates 2016). Men who interact with children enthusiastically may be viewed as dangerous, as enjoyment of children is supposed to be a “female” thing while men are presumed to be predators (Serano 2008). And, despite an increase in the number of men who stay home with their children so that their wives can work, those who choose to do so often face ridicule (Reyes 2013). Rosin (2012) and others have maintained that the recession of 2008 and after was really a “man-cession,” in that some three quarters of the jobs lost were held by males. In her book The End of Men and the Rise of Women, Hannah Rosin (2012) maintains that “In the past, men derived their advantage largely from size and strength, but the postindustrial economy is indifferent to brawn. A service and information economy rewards precisely the opposite qualities—the ones that can’t be easily replaced by machines. These attributes—social intelligence, open communication, the ability to sit still and focus-are, at a minimum, not

42

Chapter Three predominately the province of men. In fact, they seem to come more easily to women” (5).

Further, Rosin (2012) notes that there are two groups in the U.S. today. One is the approximately 30 percent who have a college degree, and the other is the remainder of the population. She argues that the new economic power of educated women has altered marital relations among the first group, with both men and women feeling more comfortable with fluid roles. In the second, larger group, women have raised the bar for what they want marriage to look like “But the men of their class are failing to meet their standards. The men may cling to traditional ideals about themselves as providers, but they are further than ever from being able to embody those ideals” (7). In sum, “What’s left now are the accessories, maybe the ‘mancessories’—jeans and pickup trucks and designer switchblades, superheroes and thugs who rant and rave on TV and, at the end of the season, fade back into obscurity. This is what critic Susan Faludi in the late 1990s defined as the new ‘ornamental masculinity,’ and it has not yet evolved into anything more solid” (Rosin 2012, 9).

Gender role norms are also connected to school-based bullying, in that the group most likely to be bullied in schools is students who are or are perceived to be Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, or gender nonconforming. Legislation still lags in terms of recognizing the fluidity of gender. The 2011 National School Climate Survey found that 82 percent of LGBT youth had been bullied in the previous school year, 64 percent felt unsafe due to their sexual orientation and 44 percent felt unsafe due to their gender identity. Almost one-third (32%) had skipped at least one day of school the previous year due to fear of harassment (LGBT Bullying statistics 2015). The problem is that gender is still conceived of in binary terms; one is either male or female. Reality is that people identify in various ways and that it does not always match their biological gender. Because most metrics still ask people to identify as male or female, rather than cisgender (the gender they were born with) or transgender (a gender different than the one they were born with), it is unclear precisely how many transgender individuals are in the U.S. population. One study put the number as high as 700,000 (Alter n.d). Although more attention has been given to transgender individuals in the 2010s, with the high-profile revelation by Bruce Jenner that she identified as Caitlyn, as well as transgender characters in popular TV shows such as Orange is the New Black and I am Jazz, the focus has largely been on women, not on transgender men (Alter

Boys Will Be Girls and Girls Will Be Boys

43

n.d). Studies have shown that raising kids to adhere to traditional gender role norms can be detrimental to their physical and mental health. One study found that teens regulated their behaviors so as not to challenge gender role norms. For instance, girls who enjoyed sports often refused to participate out of fear that boys would find them unattractive or not good enough. The boys felt compelled to demonstrate their masculinity by engaging in “low-level” violence, such as minor acts of slapping, punching, and general horseplay. They also drank too much alcohol as a means of proving themselves to other guys (Culp-Ressler 2014). Alter (n.d.) interviewed transgender men, who shared stories of how they were treated differently once they identified as male, noting “They gained professional respect, but lost intimacy. They exuded authority, but caused fear.” Further, “Many trans men I spoke with said they had no idea how rough women at work had it until they transitioned. As soon as they came out as men, they found their missteps minimized and their successes amplified. Often, they say, their words carried more weight: They seemed to gain authority and professional respect overnight. They also saw confirmation of the sexist attitudes they had long suspected: They recalled hearing female colleagues belittled by male bosses, or female job applicants called names” (Alter n.d.)

In sum, while men too suffer from sexism, discrimination and harassment, women face it more frequently and “within the framework of a patriarchal social structure—that is, taking into account the wider context of social, economic, professional and political gender imbalance— sexist incidents often have a far greater impact on women’s lives than they have on men’s, both individually and in combination” (Bates 2016, 327). Essentially, “Sexism is a socially acceptable prejudice and everybody is getting in on the act” (Bates 2016, 17). Given that traditional gender role norms do not seem to serve either women or men very well, and are particularly dangerous for those who are not cisgender, time has come to challenge these binaries. One of the best ways to do so is to have critical dialogue with young people in an atmosphere in which they feel safe to express themselves and challenge others.

Student reflections on gender role norms At the end of the semester, students in two sections of my Perspective Consciousness and Social Justice (SOC 200) classes were invited to respond to the following prompt: With which gender do you identify? What do you believe is the best thing about identifying with that gender?

44

Chapter Three

What is the worst thing about identifying with that gender? The following is a sample of the student responses: Helen Benedict: “In my early life I had a lot of issues where I was trying to figure myself out as a female. I was always being made fun of because of the way I look. Not only was that the hardest thing I had to go through but my parents were wondering how to comfort me. The kids in my grade would call me names like ‘Hairy Scary Helen’ because of the hair on my arms and face. This went on for years. Middle School got me into a serious depression that all I did was eat. Once I finished Middle School I started to dress up and put on makeup to look like the other girls in my school. I really wanted to belong with these girls. This is a major part of our society today. Girls have to have the perfect hair, nails and body in order to be accepted in the world. There are a lot of girls who make themselves sick to get the perfect body and some struggle because they do not have the funds to go get their nails and hair done or other things.” Alex Doyle: I identify as male, and the best qualities of being male are that I am in the driver’s seat due to the larger opportunities we have over females. The worst qualities are that all men are stereotyped as “pigs” without being able to prove otherwise.” Chrisorden Joseph: “I was born male and identify as male. The worst part about identifying as male would be the long list of double standards. From a very young age, boys are constantly told not to hit girls. Not that I enjoy hitting girls or anyone for that matter, but this immediately puts women as inferior or more fragile. It is with this concept why women were not until recently allowed in combat during military service, or for some time to even play physical sports. The best part of identifying as male would be obviously the perks and privileges. Financially, politically, sexually, and legally, males are more free and secure than females.” Paris Razor: “I am a female. I am strong, intelligent, capable, and worthy, but why am I always fighting for it to be believed?” Barry Rhodes: “Best: I am automatically presumed to be strong and brave. Worst: Men cannot express themselves emotionally.” Gabrielle Estevez: “I identify as being female. The best thing about being female is that, in my opinion, we are the stronger gender. We carry the children, we are the ones in the end who are the caretakers. Without women, we wouldn’t be here. The worst thing is that men are always on this higher pedestal. For a job position, if it’s between a man and a woman, the man will most likely get chosen although she may have higher credentials.”

Boys Will Be Girls and Girls Will Be Boys Kiarra Lester: “The gender I identify with is female. But the worst thing about both genders is that they establish boundaries that marginalize individuals. It keeps them in this box and when someone goes against what society shows us it causes them to feel rejected.” Zahria Scott: “I identify as female. A great thing about being female is that life can be a lot cheaper than a male’s life. For example, if a group of girls goes to a party all they have to worry about is getting ready and how to get there and back. However, if a group of guys wants to go to a party they have to factor in the cost of actually getting to the party and buying drinks. In situations like these, women usually get into the venue for free before a certain time but the men always have to pay for everything. Even when it comes to dating, traditionally the man ends up spending gas to pick the girl up, then takers out to eat and pays for both meals. Some of the worst things about being a female includes but is NOT limited to: unequal pay (now I don’t feel too bad about my last date paying for everything!), job discrimination, and a higher chance of being raped.” Tonya Turner: “I identify as female. The worst things about being female are the standards we are expected to live by within society. As females, we are expected to be “beautiful’ as the models and actresses we see, we are expected to be a certain weight, dress a certain way, and think a certain way. According to society, if we are not the way they expect us to be then we females are deemed ‘ugly’ or ‘average,’ not good enough. Another bad thing about being female is that not being seen as equals. There is a huge gap between males and females, and we see this everywhere but especially in the workplace. Males get paid more than females for the same jobs, and it doesn’t even matter if the female has a higher degree or better credentials than her male co-worker, he’ll still be paid more. The best thing about identifying as female is that even though we have so many things putting us down, we still remain strong.” Vukan Violijevic: “I identify as a male. The best thing about identifying as a male is not being criticized for the amount of relationships I’ve had with the opposite sex. The worst thing about being male is always having to take control of escalated situations like a fight or argument.” Zac Kellett: “I identify as male. This is so beneficial because we live in a patriarchal society, giving me a lot of benefits that the opposite sex does not get. However, there are a lot of stigmas towards the male gender, especially when it comes to sexual assault crimes. Men are viewed as strong, independent, and masculine, resulting in the notion that men can’t be raped, or that they’re being a ‘sally’ because they don’t want to have relations with a woman. When they are raped most men won’t report it because of fear of persecution. So, there are many benefits of being male, yet there are still many things that need to be changed to fully achieve gender equality.”

45

46

Chapter Three

Analysis of student reflections These students demonstrated some of the most common concerns people have about gender role norms. Alternately, the students were able to recognize that advantages are contextual and, to a degree, a matter of a person’s multiple identities. It is also telling what was only infrequently mentioned or not mentioned at all in their responses. Below, I use a Grounded Theory approach to identify key themes emerging from the students’ responses. Cragan and Shields (1995) recommend identifying and describing emergent themes in qualitative data that come from redundancy, intensity, and individuation. Redundancy refers to the frequency that a particular concept or idea is described by participants. Intensity refers to the degree to which participants are particularly emphatic or emotional about a response. Individuation involves information that was not solicited by that was brought up by more than one participant. Theme #1: Male privilege To varying degrees, all of the students noted the advantages men have. Many mentioned the benefits of being male in the workplace or in terms of personal safety. Others, like Paris, noted that women always have to “fight” for recognition. Theme #2: Navigating Privilege The females who responded largely discussed how to navigate male privilege, sometimes even using it to their advantage, as Zahria shared when she wrote about men paying for dates and drinks. Many of the female respondents discussed women’s strength and perseverance despite the obstacles. Gabby emphasized this strength in discussing women’s role in bringing children into the world. Theme #3: Policing of Gender Role Norms Many of the students noted that if they looked or acted in ways outside of the traditional stereotypes, they faced judgement and discrimination. For instance, Helen noted the comments about her appearance, while Zac described being called a ‘sally’ for not wanting to have sex with every possible woman. Barry noted that men face difficulties in being emotionally available.

Boys Will Be Girls and Girls Will Be Boys

47

Theme #4: Male Pressure The males tended to describe various pressures they experience identifying as male. Being presumed to always be brave and strong, having to solve problems or win arguments, always being interested in sex, never expressing themselves emotionally, and being presumed to be “pigs,” these males definitely expressed some of the fears and challenged identified in the literature. Theme #5: Binary Gender Roles Surprisingly, despite significant classroom attention to the critique of binary gender roles and to the discrimination against gender nonconforming individuals, only one student, Kiarra, brought up this issue. Perhaps this is because all of the students in these classes identified as cisgender, so even though they learned about transgender people and the issues they face, it wasn’t personal to them. Therefore, their default lens when discussing gender is the traditional male/female binary. Also, since these students attend a Catholic university, and many identify as Catholic, it might be that issues of gender identity and sexual orientation are still difficult for them to fully embrace, given the Church’s historical stances on such things. Theme #6: Intersectionality Despite the very diverse composition of these classes, none of the students identified the unique challenges faced by men and women of color who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, or the variations of sexism endured by women who are not Caucasian and the hyper-masculine posturing that is often expected of men of color. The course had addressed these issues, so it is somewhat surprising that no students mentioned them. Again, it seems that students still see gender through some narrow lenses.

Ideas for teaching about gender roles One strategy recommended for engaging in critical discussion is intergroup dialogue, known as IGD. This model brings together diverse groups to address our interconnected social identities and to help participants identify their own assumptions and biases. Zuniga (n.d.) defined intergroup dialogues as “facilitated face-to-face meetings between students from two or more social identity groups that have a history of conflict or potential conflict.” Intergroup dialogues are different from debates or discussions, as they are ongoing sessions that bring together

48

Chapter Three

identity groups that have experienced or are experiencing differences. As such, they are more in-depth than discussions and not about winning and losing, as are debates. According to Intergroup Resources (nd), the goals of IGD are: x To develop specific the capacity for dialogue in a diverse society, including the ability for deep listening, suspension of judgment, identification of assumptions, reflection and inquiry; x To better understand oneself and others as members of various social and groups within the context of systems of privilege and inequality; x To examine the similarities and differences in experiences within and across various identity groups; x To gain knowledge and understanding of the impact of sex and gender on gender relations and inequalities in the United States; x To develop the skills needed to work through differences, disagreements, and conflicts and to see them as opportunities for deeper understanding; x To identify, plan, and carry out individual and collective actions that help create a more inclusive and just society. Films and video clips also offer a variety of perspectives on gender that can help students understand those with different identities. The list of Recommended Resources in the Appendix features a number of recommended films, TED talks, and video clips. It is essential to debrief these films and clips afterwards, however. That can occur through a big group discussion, small group discussions, reflective writings, or a variety of other techniques. Students can also be asked to find music lyrics that reinforce stereotypical gender roles and that challenge them. An activity that I often use when teaching about gender role norms and inequalities is to ask students to go on a “patriarchy scavenger hunt.” After defining patriarchy, I typically find that some students resist the notion that the U.S. still is one, as they want to believe things have improved more dramatically than they have. In order to document that patriarchy is still a problem and that it is connected to gender roles, I assign students to research specific facts, including, for instance, 1) the gender wage gap; 2) the number of women in Congress; 3) the number of female CEOs of Fortune 500 companies; 4) the number of female head coaches of Division I teams, including male and female teams; 5) How often men and women face sexual harassment in the workplace; 6) The percent of social workers who are males and their wages in comparison; and 7) The percent of

Boys Will Be Girls and Girls Will Be Boys

49

females who are construction workers and their wages in comparison. Many more facts can be added to the list, but by the time we all report back our research, the skeptical students generally believe the U.S. is still patriarchal and, importantly, understand that patriarchal is a macro issue, thus no individual student or person is “to blame.”

References Alter, Charlotte. “Transgender Men and Sexism,” Time, nd. Accessed June 25, 2016. http://time.com/transgender-men-sexism/ Amato, Toni. “Shame is the First Betrayer.” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 221-226. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. Bates, Laura. Everyday Sexism. New York: Thomas Dunne, 2016. Berlatsky, Noah. “When Men Experience Sexism.” The Atlantic, May 29, 2013. Accessed June 13, 2016. http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/05/when-menexperience-sexism/276355/ Boboltz, Sara. “9 Facts That Prove Traditional Definitions of Gender Roles are Bullshi*t.” Huffington Post, December 29, 2014. Accessed May 24, 2016. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/16/genderfacts-traditional-roles_n_5115265.html Christina, Greta. “5 Stupid, Unfair and Sexist Things Expected of Men.” Alternet, July 24, 2010. Accessed June 13, 2016. http://www.alternet.org/story/147626/5_stupid%2C_unfair_and_sexist _things_expected_of_men Christina, Greta. “5 Things Society Unfairly Expects of Men.” Alternet, August 9, 2010. Accessed June 13, 2016. http://www.alternet.org/story/147779/5_things_society_unfairly_expec ts_of_men Cragan, John and Donald Shields. Symbolic Theories in Applied Communication Research: Bormann, Burke and Fischer. Cresskill, NJ: Hampton Press, 1995. Crittenden, Ann. The Price of Motherhood: Why the Most Important Job in the World is Still the Least Valued. New York: Picador, 2010. Culp-Ressler, Tara. “Forcing Kids to Stick to Gender Roles Can Actually Be Harmful to Their Health.” Think Progress, August 7, 2014. AccessedJuly13,2016. http://thinkprogress.org/health/2014/08/07/3468380/gender-roleshealth-risks/

50

Chapter Three

Filipovic, Jill. “Offensive Feminism: The Conservative Gender Norms that Perpetuate Rape Culture, and How Feminists Can Fight Back.” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 13-28. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. Friedman, Jaclyn and Jessica Valenti. “Introduction.”InYes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 13-28. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. Gallagher, K.athryn and Dominic Parrott. “What Accounts for Men’s Hostile Attitudes Towards Women? The Influence of Hegemonic Male Role Norms and Masculine Gender Role Stress.” Violence Against Women, 17(2011): 568-583. Harding, Kate. “How Do You Fuck a Fat Woman?” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 67-76. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. “Intergroup Dialogues.” Intergroup Resources, nd. Accessed April 4, 2015. http://www.intergroupresources.com/intergroup-dialogues/ “LGBT Bullying Statistics.” No Bullying, December 22, 2011. Accessed June 30, 2016, www.nobullying.com/lgbt-bullying-statistics Lorber, Judith. “Night to his Day”: The Social Construction of Gender.” In Paradoxes of Gender, edited by Judith Lorber, 13-36. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press. Orenstein, Peggy. Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-girl Culture. New York: Harper, 2012. Reyes, Emily. “Men are Stuck in Gender Roles, Data Suggests.” Los Angeles Times, December 26, 2013. Accessed July 14, 2016. http://articles.latimes.com/2013/dec/26/local/la-me-one-way-genderrevolution-20131227 Rivers, Caryl and Barnett, Rosalind. The New Soft War on Women: How the Myth of Female Ascendance is Hurting Women, Men, and Our Economy. New York: Penguin, 2013. Rosin, Hannah. The End of Men and the Rise of Women. New York: Penguin, 2013. Serano, Julia. “Why Nice Guys Finish Last.” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 227-40. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. Tannen, Deborah. You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York: William Morrow, 2007.

Boys Will Be Girls and Girls Will Be Boys

51

Zuniga, Xiomara. “Fostering Intergroup Dialogue on Campus: Essential Ingredients.” Diversity Web, nd. Accessed December 28, 2014. http://www.diversityweb.org/Digest/W98/fostering.html

CHAPTER FOUR THE GENDER BINARY FROM THE OUTSIDE TYLER (ELLORA) LACARRUBBA1

Most of us experience our genders in accordance with the way they were assigned to us at birth. These genders, male and female, come with the accompanying ideas of how a person of each gender is supposed to act. However, this view of gender is not the only one, and other identities exist outside of this understanding. These identities are not discussed often in comparison to male and female, but are vital to understanding those around us. This chapter is not meant to scare you or overwhelm you with statistics; rather, it is meant to, through my experience, voice the side of gender some people know nothing about.

The gender binary When you are born into this world, immediately those around you are putting a label on you. You are either a boy or you are a girl. Until this distinction is made, you are “it.” After the distinction is made, there are expectations set for you. Children learn some people are boys and some people are girls. They proceed to try to understand what this means (Kushnir n.d.), which leads them to learn about masculinity and femininity, and who is allowed to express which. Masculinity is associated with men and with strength and boldness; femininity is associated with women and with weakness and gentleness (Spence and Buckner 2009). The idea of two genders, male and female, and the accompanying masculinity and femininity which go along with them is referred to as the gender binary (Tyler 2016). Often, these genders are assigned to people at 1

To my family, Anastacia, Mrs. Cangelosi, Ms. Miller, and all of my friends, teachers, and professors: Thank you for believing in me, helping and supporting me, and giving me the spaces I needed to be able to be myself and own my voice. It makes a world of difference.

The Gender Binary from the Outside

53

birth depending on their anatomy. As time goes on, they are expected to act in a masculine manner or a feminine manner, which is dependent upon their assigned gender. The gender binary is extremely rigid, and leaves no room for deviance from the assigned gender and role. Growing up, I was only aware of the two binary genders and the expectations accompanying them. However, growing up I also defied these expectations inadvertently. I was much more comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans or playing video games than I was wearing a dress or playing with dolls. This was considered to be strange behavior, and I faced the constant question, “Why can’t you be more like a girl?” For a long time, I had no answer. I never felt right, or like I belonged anywhere. I was different, I knew I was different, and I could not figure out why I was questioned for it.

Beyond the binary During my senior year in high school, a friend and I started a Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) to help create a more accepting and inclusive environment, and to create a safe space for those who did not feel they had a voice. While working on an informational sheet about different gender identities, I found myself feeling more closely connected to nonbinary identities than I did binary ones. Before this, I had not heard much about these identities. It occurred to me that individuals who identified outside of the binary were not having their voices heard, at least not that I was aware of. Nonbinary identities are any identities which do not conform to the gender binary system. These include, but are by no means limited to, genderqueer, androgyne, and agender (List Of Nonbinary Identities 2016). Individuals with nonbinary identities do not always conform to the ideas of masculinity and femininity. For example, someone who is androgyne may express their gender in both a masculine manner and a feminine manner. However, not all individuals who are nonbinary express this way, and not all individuals who do not conform to masculinity and femininity identify with a nonbinary identity. But all individuals do have a form of expression, whether it be masculine, feminine, a combination of both, or a lack of either. Some of those within the nonbinary community identify as transmasculine or transfeminine. Transmasculine individuals were typically assigned female at birth, do not identify as male or female, and express themselves in a more masculine manner. Similarly, transfeminine individuals were typically assigned male at birth, do not identify as male or female, and

54

Chapter Four

express themselves in a more feminine manner (Roxie 2015). These terms can be used as gender identities themselves, or be used to describe an individual’s way of expressing their gender. The way the term is used is dependent upon the person who identifies with it. Understanding these pieces of identity is important to understanding nonbinary identities as a whole.

Living outside of the binary Living as someone who identifies outside of the binary and is open about that fact is challenging. There is little representation for our part of the community, and often it is assumed we are just indecisive and cannot choose whether we want to be boys or girls. I once compared trying to choose one of two genders to trying to choose whether I would rather not have arms or not have legs. However, in making this comparison I quickly learned I am able to easily say I would rather have arms, but I cannot easily decide whether I would rather be a boy or a girl. The binary genders are elusive; always within reach, yet always just outside of my grasp. This in itself creates a problem because of how enforced the binary is. I never know which pronoun someone will use to refer to me. I never know which bathroom to use. I never know who will accept my existence. I never know who will try to force a label and definition on me. Names and pronouns have the potential to be a source of discomfort for those who do not identify with a binary gender. Personally, I did not feel as connected to my name as I wanted to, so I chose a different name and am much more comfortable. However, there are many nonbinary individuals who do not choose to change their name. The same goes for pronouns. There are nonbinary individuals who never choose to go by a different pronoun than the one they were assigned at birth, but there are others, such as myself, who identify with a more neutral pronoun rather than a gendered pronoun. The decision to identify with a different name and set of pronouns than the ones assigned at birth is generally not made because we have hatred toward our assigned names or pronouns. Rather, a new name or set of pronouns is usually chosen because of the discomfort associated with the way our genders are perceived with the ones assigned to us, and the desire to find comfort within our own identities (Shemitz and Vandagriff 2015). Bathrooms can also be a source of discomfort for individuals who do not identify with a binary gender. Most public bathrooms are designated to be for either men or women, with no unisex option. This creates an issue for someone who does not identify as male or female. “For a lot of

The Gender Binary from the Outside

55

transgender people walking into a bathroom is like choosing which side of a civil war they’re fighting for. Which relatives they’ll have to shoot. Genderqueer means I don’t even have a gun” (Schminkey 2014). Going to the bathroom in public is something I avoid if I can. When I do go to the bathroom in public, I never know what will happen. One time, when visiting my high school, I was drying my hands in the women’s room when someone walked in and saw me. They then proceeded to look at the door, say to a companion, “oh, I thought we were in the wrong one,” and chuckle before walking into the bathroom. While I am certainly lucky nothing worse than that happened, it further emphasized how out of place I was in the women’s room. This is an everyday struggle for most people who identify with a nonbinary gender identity. Identifying outside of the gender binary, I find relationships of all forms becoming sources of fear. The reality is there are few people who do not share the experience of being nonbinary who will understand it. When I am in public, I am misgendered constantly due to the invisibility of nonbinary identities. Beyond this, friendships which I had for years started to deteriorate when I came out, and many of my friends from high school and earlier still do not call me Tyler. I am never sure what will happen around family members, each having a different level of comfort with my identity. There is also fear attached to romantic relationships. Since I do not identify wholly with either male or female, I am constantly questioning whether I will ever be in a healthy romantic relationship in which my partner, and those my partner is close with, will be accepting and understanding of my identity and our relationship. Though there is the potential for anyone to experience gender dysphoria whether they identify with a binary gender or a nonbinary gender, there are differences. Gender dysphoria is “discomfort or distress caused by a mismatch between a person’s gender identity and their biological sex assigned at birth” (Gender dysphoria 2016). When experiencing dysphoria as an individual who identifies within the binary, there is a seemingly set path to follow to put the body in line with the identity. However, for nonbinary individuals, there is no set path. Dysphoria is experienced differently by everyone, and when there is no set goal of, “I want to look like a man,” or “I want to look like a woman,” remedying dysphoria becomes even more of a struggle. One non-surgical way to remedy dysphoria for those who were assigned female at birth and express in a more masculine manner is by using a chest binder. Chest binders can be considered similar to sports bras or tank tops, depending on the specific type, and are used to give the appearance of having a flat chest in a safe way. I usually do not feel I need to be wearing my chest binder

56

Chapter Four

every time I leave the house, but I also own shirts I will not wear without my chest binder on. This is something that can be a daily struggle for many individuals.

The problem For a long time, the gender binary seemed to work. However, it assigns people to one of two categories and gives them no room to be themselves. This is extremely limiting, and ultimately can be damaging. The two binary genders are not the only options, and the binary has no room within it for other identities to exist. When an individual does not conform to the binary, they are the odd one out. They are labelled as different, and sometimes they do not even know why. Learning there were gender identities outside of the binary, made me feel like I finally made sense. I was able to figure out why I never felt like I fit in, and as scary as it was, it was liberating. Within the LGBTQ+ community itself, there is a lack of acceptance of individuals who identify as nonbinary. This comes from all areas of the community. Specifically, there are individuals who transitioned from one binary identity to the other who refuse to acknowledge the existence of nonbinary gender identities. One instance of this that I was involved in put me in a situation where a transgender male told me I was jealous because I was not a real man. Others have told me I will grow out of it while in college. Our community faces situations such as these on a daily basis. People who do not know what it is like to identify outside of the gender binary try to tell us what we do and do not feel, experience, and face from day to day. They assume we will not choose a gender because we want attention, and try to force us to make a choice when, in reality, our genders are as valid as the only two they can see. Some people who identify outside of the binary feel they have to choose one of the binary genders regardless of how they feel about their own gender identity. If we choose not to lie about our identities, we open ourselves up to a number of inappropriate questions because we do not pass as male or female, because we are not male or female. If we happen to be comfortable with our bodies, we are told we must be cisgender. If we happen to be asked what our pronouns are when we identify with a neutral set of pronouns rather than a gendered set, we have to be ready for the possibility of someone saying we are being ridiculous, telling us there are only two sets of pronouns with which to identify people. If and when we come out in our own homes, we risk being rejected, punished, kicked out, or worse. If and when we come out at work, we have to be prepared for

The Gender Binary from the Outside

57

someone to say it is unprofessional to bring this into the workplace, when usually all we are trying to do is be honest about who we are and be referred to in the correct manner. Sometimes, it feels as though it would be easier to choose a binary gender and live a lie than it would be to figure out how to live as an invisible identity. It is not easy to identify as a gender other than male or female. Every community we think we have, we do not actually belong to. We are invisible to more of the world than we are visible to, which makes being ourselves in everyday life difficult, and sometimes even painful. For example, imagine your name is Dakota, but a majority of the people around you decide they would rather call you Anthony; every day, you would be called Anthony instead of Dakota, no matter what you say to try to explain to them otherwise. There is always someone telling us we are wrong. There is always someone hoping for us to cease existing, no matter what it takes to make that happen. But the nonbinary gender identities will keep existing, just as the binary gender identities will keep existing. Like everyone else, we are trying to be honest about who we are. Living authentically should not be available exclusively to those who are male or female. “We ALL have the right to live our truth” (Finch 2014) whether we are male, female, nonbinary, agender, or any identity.

Where they intersect Gender is expressed by individuals both within the binary and outside of it. Through our expressions of gender, we attempt to give those around us a way to refer to us. Since most individuals express their gender in some way, gender expression and its conformity to the socially determined ideas of masculinity and femininity are taken for granted in our society. An individual with a more masculine appearance is likely to be referred to as a male, and an individual with a more feminine appearance is likely to be referred to as a female (Gender Expression n.d.). This happens regardless of whether an individual is binary or nonbinary due to how ingrained the identities of male and female, with their accompanying pronouns, are in our society. Almost every individual does this regardless of identity, both for personal comfort and to help others determine how they should refer to them. However, many nonbinary individuals choose to express their gender through a combination of masculinity and femininity (Nonbinary Gender 2015), which is also valid. Just as there are individuals who identify with the binary genders, there are also individuals who identify with the nonbinary genders. Binary and nonbinary are unable to exist separately; they depend upon each other. If

58

Chapter Four

male and female identities were not as roughly defined within the binary as they are, they would not be binary identities. Furthermore, without the rigid categorization of binary identities, there would be no need for nonbinary identities because the interpretation of gender based upon the ideas of masculinity and femininity would not be as strict. If one had not ever existed, the other would not have come into existence to be its opposite. Although many challenges I face are because of the gender binary, I would not know I have a nonbinary identity had there been no binary identities. If there were no binary identities, my gender expression would not have created conflict for me. If there was no box, or category, for me to be expected to fit into, I would have been able to freely express myself without standing out. But it is also because of these categories I am able to be who I am. Without one, the other would have no way of existing.

How we can show support Validity of all identities can be promoted in all places, schools included. This can be done in a number of ways. One way to support all identities is by clarifying the name and pronoun a person is most comfortable with, and then referring to them in that manner. Another would be to have an informational sheet about different identities, pronouns, and other resources, and include this sheet in the materials all incoming students receive. This helps students to better understand the identities of those around them. Additionally, allowing students access to unisex facilities, such as bathrooms, supports those who do not feel comfortable using a facility designated for a specific gender. Furthermore, creating space within any online systems for a preferred name and pronoun to be present as a display name is also helpful. For those who do not have a legal name change, or do not use gendered pronouns, this eliminates the nervousness present when attendance is taken. Doing these things in more settings promotes inclusivity and validity. These are all relatively small changes to make, and they let everyone know that space is safe. By making these changes, you are letting everyone know identity is not a topic to be avoided because you are bringing it to their attention right away. Through clarifying a person’s name and pronoun, and having an appropriate space in online systems for this information, you let them know you are making an effort to understand and respect them and their identity. Imagine being Dakota again, as a new student who has not gotten their name legally changed and uses a nongendered pronoun. At orientation, your name tag says Anthony, so you

The Gender Binary from the Outside

59

cross it out and write Dakota over it. Most of the people around you introduce themselves with the name originally printed on their name tag, and no one says a word about pronouns. You feel like the odd one out in this situation. However, imagine this scenario again. At orientation, your name tag says Dakota. When you meet new people, they introduce themselves with their names and pronouns. You are not alone in this situation. The small changes we can make can have a huge impact on the way those who identify outside of the binary feel in this new setting.

Conclusion People of all identities have their own idea and expression of their gender. Though every person is different, some of these experiences are similar to the experiences of others, and some are very different. These identities and expressions can conform to or differ from the gender binary, and some have an accompanying idea of how masculine or feminine an individual should be. Understanding both binary and nonbinary gender identities is important to understand the people we interact with every day. This paper voices my experiences, the experiences of one person who identifies outside of the gender binary. Not identifying as male or female can be difficult, but being comfortable with myself is something I only have been able to do outside of the confinement of the binary. Even though it took a long time for me to learn about different identities, it did not take me a long time to learn that all identities are valid, especially binary and nonbinary gender identities.

References Finch, Sam Dylan. “What You're Actually Saying When You Ignore Someone's Gender Pronouns,” September 15, 2014, accessed September 15, 2016, https://letsqueerthingsup.com/2014/09/15/whatyoure-actually-saying-when-you-ignore-someones-preferred-genderpronouns/. “Gender dysphoria,” April 12, 2016, accessed September 15, 2016, http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gender-dysphoria/Pages/Introduction.aspx. Gender Expression”, Gill Foundation, n.d, accessed September 16, 2016, http://gillfoundation.org/grants/gender-expression-toolkit/genderexpression/.

60

Chapter Four

Kushnir, Tamar. "Learning About How Young Children Learn." Cornell University, n.d., accessed September 16, 2016, http://www.human.cornell.edu/hd/outreach-extension/upload/ Learning-about-how-children-learn-Kushnir.pdf. “List Of Nonbinary Identities”, Wikipedia, April 28, 2016, accessed October 4, 2016, http://nonbinary.org/wiki/List_of_nonbinary_identities. “Nonbinary Gender,” Wikipedia, accessed December 14, 2015, http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Nonbinary_gender. Roxie, Marilyn. “Genderqueer and Non-Binary Identities & Terminology,” July 24, 2015, accessed October 4, 2016, genderqueerid.com/gq-terms. Schminkey, Oliver Renee. “Asterisk*,” 2014, accessed October 4, 2016, https://soundcloud.com/minnazhou/asterisk-by-oliver-renee-schminkey. Shemitz, Arthur, and Corinne Vandagriff. "A Resolution to Incorporate Respect for Preferred Gender Pronouns into the Whitman Experience," Associated Students of Whitman College, 2015, accessed October 4, 2016, http://goaswc.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/SRS-15.5-Respectfor-Preferred-Gender-Pronouns.pdf. Spence, Janet, and Camille Buckner. "Masculinity and Femininty: Defining the Undefinable," in Gender, Power, and Communication in Human Relationships, by Pamela Kalbfleisch and Michael Cody. New York: Psychology Press, 2009. Tyler. “The Binary And Nonbinary Genders,” June 14, 2016, accessed October 4, 2016, http://beneaththeidentity.com/the-binary-and-nonbinarygenders/.

CHAPTER FIVE TRANSGENDER IDENTITY DISCLOSURES VIA YOUTUBE NARRATIVES ERIN K. PHELPS

Introduction The transgender community in America is unique, relatively small, and oftentimes misunderstood. Transgender is, “A general term that refers to a person whose gender identity, expression, or behavior does not conform that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth” (Kuklin 2014). Although recent television shows, news specials, Netflix originals, and the coming out stories of famous individuals are adding to the collective knowledge about the transgender community, there is still an abundant amount of misinformation about the transgender experience in America. With the trans population being only 0.3% (approximately 700,000) of the American population (Gates 2011), this group remains marginalized and underrepresented. The purpose of this study is to better understand the transgender experience as well as to identify areas of importance held by those who self-identify as transgender. This study seeks to find what trans individuals believe is most important in reference to their gender in order to spread more awareness among the American population.

Review of literature: Publicly identifying as transgender Much like the discourses for gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals, there is still a coming out process for trans people. This process takes much preparation and emotional readiness. Many trans people might have to “come out” (the term “coming out” is sometimes seen as derogatory for those within the LGBTQ community, however it is the widely known phrase for those who choose to disclose information pertaining to certain

62

Chapter Five

identity statuses) a number of times. Some individuals come out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual before they personally and publicly identify as transgender; some think it might be easier for the ones closest to them to grasp being a sexual minority rather than a gender minority (Coming Out as Trans 2016). There is literature on the coming out experiences of LGBTQ/GSRM (Gender, sexual, romantic minorities: used in conjunction with or addition to LGBTQ in efforts to be more inclusive) individuals (Monteflores and Schultz 1978), but the necessity for analysis of unaltered narrations of their process and how they came to the point where they are seen in current media (videos) has seldom been done. This study helps to more accurately classify the lived experiences of transmen and women and show the general public what they deem is important.

Stereotypes Many times the trans population is confused for crossdressers or those who partake in drag activities. Although crossdressing and doing drag does include embodying another gender, those that partake in drag activities and crossdressing do not adopt those activities as their gender identity on the whole. Forms of media and geographic location can play a part in some of the myths and stereotypes surrounding the trans population. For example, The Rocky Horror Picture Show raised awareness about men and women who challenged gender norms and reveled in their uniqueness. However, the “Sweet Transvestite” can often be confused with the gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia that trans individuals feel. Gender dysphoria is defined as “a subjective experience of incongruity between genital anatomy and gender identity”(Wilson, Sharp and Carr 1999). Geographic location can also play a huge role as well. For example, in Las Vegas many men dress as women for entertainment purposes, and this can lead to the perception that trans women are doing it for show or for entertainment (Valentine 2007).

YouTube The rapid development of technology has made the internet a place for many marginalized groups to gain support, share their stories, and raise awareness (Mehra,Markel and Bishop 2004). The YouTube videos used for this study, and many others (Lange 2007; Mosebo 2009; Phelps-Ward and Laura 2016), are a part of this modern modality. YouTube is known to be an outlet for many niche communities. For example, there is a community of YouTubers who are transmen. They collaborate with other

Transgender Identity Disclosures via YouTube Narratives

63

trans people and talk about their experiences with hormones, how to approach and talk to someone who is trans, and a host of other topics to educate and inform others. Ryan Cassata and Skylar Kergil are amongst some of the most popular Youtubers with over 107,000 subscribers and well over one million views on their most popular videos. YouTube as a medium for the units of analysis was selected in an attempt to tap into the LGBTQ community that is using this internet-based tool and to observe how that community presents itself. Is the LGBTQ community as far-reaching as the community aforementioned? Studies have shown that minority and/or marginalized populations use the internet as a space to connect, gain support, and storytell (Mehra,Merkel and Bishop 2004). YouTube is no exception. ItGetsBetter.org is a project/site that is specifically for the GSRM population, however it was not used in this study because of YouTube’s greater influence on Americans as a whole.)Analysis of these videos will hopefully raise awareness about the trans experience as well as increase advocacy for the trans community. RQ1: What are the messages communicated to public and transgender audiences about the transgender population? RQ2: What does it mean to identify as transgender?

Methods On March 29, 2016, I visited the main YouTube website via a personal computer. I logged out of my YouTube and reset my cache so as to not get videos that were recommended for me based on what I watch most frequently. I typed the word "transgender" into the search bar in order to view the first aggregate of videos. From there I picked the first ten videos that included narrative accounts of what it is like to identify as transgender, why they decided to share their identity with others, and their identity development process. Since I only wanted narrative accounts, news specials, sponsored programs, interviews, and videos with young children (they, many times, could not speak for themselves) were not included in this research. I especially wanted to avoid the interviews because the content covered in comparison to the solely narrative videos was vastly different due to the questions they were asked; in other words, the interviewer was controlling the narrative. For example, none of the data had subject matter covering sexual relationships or telling their partner about their identity. However, in many of the interviews via news specials, respondents were asked to talk about sex and romantic partners. In an attempt to get the unaltered stories, I decided only to use narratives

64

Chapter Five

where the vlogger was choosing the subject matter that was being discussed. Overall, my data set consisted of eight trans women, one trans man, and one intersex man that labeled himself as transgender. There were six ethnic minorities (Asian American, multiracial, European where the only three minorities that could be identified via the video) and four white (or could pass as white) individuals. Nine of the YouTubers were in their teens-to late twenties, with one individual seeming to be middle-aged (fourty to fifty years old). The range of views for these videos was 15,192 to 3,321,459 views. The average amount of views for the ten video combined was 687,431.4 views (data collected May 4, 2016). Once those videos were chosen I transcribed them and utilized primary-cycle coding (Tracy 2013) to find common themes. Once the themes were selected, I ranked them by perceived importance to the narrator. Assessing perceived importance included observing voice inflection, facial expressions, and subject matter for context. The exemplars and themes were based on frequency and clarity of their statements. YouTube statistics on how long the video was watched by these viewers were also collected when available.

Results Once all of the data was transcribed, many ideas emerged; however, six themes occurred the most and were placed of high importance by the vlogger. They seemed to be of high importance because the amount of times the theme was brought up or alluded to, if the vlogger specifically said it was important, and if there was nonverbal language attached to it (like crying, smiling, and use of hand movements while talking). The six themes were: Identifying as Transgender at a Young Age; Passing; Pronoun Usage; Happiness; Support Systems; and Sharing Journeys.

Identifying as transgender at a young age One study conducted at the University of Washington found that, “…trans children as young as five identify with their gender identity as quickly and as consistently as non-trans kids (They Aren’t Confused…2015). Five of the vloggers specifically stated that they knew they were supposed to be another gender at a young age. Many talked about playing with Barbie dolls and doing stereotypical “girl” things when they were younger. Some trans women expressed having dreams about being little girls and others just talked about feeling uncomfortable in situations where

Transgender Identity Disclosures via YouTube Narratives

65

gender socialization was highly emphasized, like the locker room and the bathroom. One YouTuber described her early identification as a timeline for her progressing trans identity: “I legitimately did not know that I was a boy. Of course I can tell you the normal things like oh I played with Barbie’s, I wore dresses, I did all the stuff you wanted to do all the girl things and I wasn’t supposed to because I was a boy but more than that I would dream as a woman. I would dream…I just remember constantly feeling like that something wasn’t right even at an early age.”

This theme also directly answers RQ1.The message here is that trans kids are developmentally similar to cisgender children. This also answers RQ2 by illustrating that trans identity development is a process that starts at a very young age.

Passing The term “passing” can be used in many contexts. Perhaps the most popular context is the idea of passing racially. We often see this term when referring to someone who looks like a more culturally superior race than they actually are, for instance, when Black people are, or are perceived to be, behaving, dressing, speaking and otherwise appearing more stereotypically white. Since they “pass,” many times they are given privileges that are afforded to the advantaged race. The concept of racial passing can be juxtaposed against the backdrop of gender and physical sex; passing as a woman or man. The term passing in itself is controversial in that it has the connotation that trans women and men are not “real” women and men, they were just pretending, which is inaccurate (Godfrey 2015). This fact is in part what prompted RQ1; the public makes them feel as if they are inauthentic men and women. Passing as a trans person gives them the power to feel comfortable and or welcome in places where they would have otherwise not been welcome, like the bathroom (Halberstam 1998). This idea of comfort and feeling like they belong is an important part of their beginning transitioning process. Transition(ing) is the process of changing into the sex one feels they most correctly identify with. Transitioning does not always include hormonal therapy and/or surgery. “When I go out in public and I’m just like a girl without a chest, I get stared at, I get talked about, you know I don’t care what anybody gots to say because I’m still gonna be me. It’s just like, I don’t like that. I picture myself as a woman. When I walk into a room I want to be considered a woman; so I don’t want to be considered a gay male. There’s nothing

66

Chapter Five wrong with being considered a gay male because I was a gay male, but now I am a woman, a transgender woman.”

Many trans people do not care to “pass” as the gender to which they identify. Some of them see their identity as a separate gender from male or female and are okay with looking like a trans person or androgynous. This is illustrated in the previous quote. Many of the trans women used woman and trans woman and/or transgender interchangeably. This could be in an attempt to keep themselves attached to the idea of there being more than two genders. “Trans woman” or “male to female” (MTF) is a term used to describe biological males who transition to females. “Trans man” or “female to male” (FTM) is a term used to describe biological females that transition to males.

Importance of pronoun usage and name change For many trans people, the usage of pronouns that align with their gender is a source of empowerment and makes them feel as step closer to the person they want to be. Along with the changing of pronouns, the changing of their name can be just as if not more powerful. This statement by one of the YouTube vloggers depicts this importance: “Last summer I met a really amazing guy and his family and friends have known me as Christina which is the name that I am going to change to now. It's been really liberating to just kind of come and go into this person. I think it's also why I haven't posted much and blogging much because it's been really disconnecting for me to constantly say my name. So I'm filming this video to tell everyone that I am transgender I identify as female I would prefer it if everyone would say she and her and stop calling me Charles because that is not who I am anymore I will also be changing all of my social media names.”

Although not shown in this data set, some trans people may also go a different route and refuse to use gender binary pronouns (he, she, her, him) and opt to use gender neutral/inclusive pronouns like zie, zim zir, sie, sie, hir, ey, em, eir, ve, ver, and vis. Some use this in an attempt to show that transgender does not mean trying to be either a man or a woman but rather that there are other genders that do not have to conform to the gender norms and roles associated with the bifurcated view of gender in society.

Transgender Identity Disclosures via YouTube Narratives

67

Happiness Another recurring theme was this concept of happiness and even excitement. The YouTubers expressed their happiness in three different ways. Some were happy to finally find a label for the incongruence they felt with their physical self and their inner-self (this incongruence was spoken of as an uncomfortableness within the videos), others were excited and happy to share their identity with the public/their subscribers, and the last feelings of happiness came from the clarity that originated from being able to outwardly express themselves and be comfortable in their gender expression. A young female to male trans individual described this feeling of excitement: “November 7th. Today I went to the mall and got the courage to buy some male clothing I’m actually wearing it right now life never felt more comfortable in my clothing, and let me tell you these pants have some deep pockets. I’m excited to go wear this outside.”

It was relatively easy to tell when the vloggers were happy even if they did not overtly say it. Evidence of happiness was found when the vlogger smiled and sped up their talking within the context of their conversation.

Importance of a support system This was a consistently reoccurring theme for nine of the ten videos used in this data set. The importance of a support system for many human changes in identity, life situations, health, and other issues is extremely high (Wright and Perry 2006). The vloggers not only expressed their need for a support system, they also expressed much gratitude for having a support system, be it from family, friends, or their YouTube subscribers. “My mom has been so supportive, she just completely—I am her first kid. It would be so much more difficult without family support. Maybe near impossible.”

Even one of the vloggers who had lost her mother expressed how much she would love for her mother to be alive and there for her during this journey. “You guys know I lost my mom two years ago in February and I think that is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life thus far, and probably will ever have to do because that’s my mom. During this transitional phase in my life I’m sure my mom would make this transition so much easier for me and there’s no point in my life where I want her

68

Chapter Five back more than I do right now. But I can’t have her back. You really just have to think of it in the aspect of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger actually and I truly feel like I am a stronger person even though I said I wasn’t going to cry in this video.”

This may be one of the most important themes for others to understand. RQ1 asks what are the messages that are communicated to the public about the trans populations and this theme answers that question by stressing the importance of not isolating or ostracizing our trans population. They need support to get through their journey.

Publicly displaying the journey Perhaps the YouTube culture of vloggers is different than the general population, but the concept of sharing their journey was of great importance. Many of the vloggers felt that it was unfair to their viewers to not share their journey and/or keep their transition a secret from their subscribers. One YouTuber felt particularly guilty about not talking about her new identity sooner: “…I’ve been keeping a secret for a couple of months now which I have been feeling very selfish about because I know that when you guys subscribe to my channel you guys want the end on everything in my life and its honestly really unfair to you guys that so much has been going on and I haven’t been telling you guys anything. I’ve just been keeping you guys like in limbo. I honestly just want my viewers to feel out and open with themselves, but how are you supposed to do that when I’m not even open myself about a lot of things?”

Along with seeing the importance of telling their fans and subscribers about their identity and their journey, they talk about the importance of having their subscribers on the journey with them. Most of the trans women talked about the different steps they need to take in order to go through the process of transitioning and how their subscribers have helped them through this process. One YouTuber voiced her gratitude this way: “I read every single comment; I literally go through my email and read every single comment that you guys leave on every video and they all mean the world. I may not have time to respond to all of you but I do read everything and… I think part of what’s made me able to understand myself this way and to come forward is because of the love that you’ve shown me. And that sounds strange to some people because it’s online and it’s not something that I can physically receive or physically enable. My life has

Transgender Identity Disclosures via YouTube Narratives

69

improved so much since I started YouTube... I can’t picture myself without all of you to talk [to, and] to come to…”

Discussion I observed many things while watching, transcribing, and coding these videos. I noticed some specific topics and situations that were more nuanced than others. Use of “transgendered” in multiple videos could allude to these trans people not being submerged within the transgender community. With their newfound identity label, they might not be up to date on derogatory terms and the cultural implications or the etiquette they should follow now that they are publicly identifying as a trans person in America. Or perhaps they are individuals that do not care about the label politics that are embedded within LGBTQ culture. According to YouTube statistics (2016), people are only watching these videos for about 3:30 minutes. What could this mean? What information are they missing? At the beginning of the videos many of the vloggers talked about how hard it is to talk to their subscribers, why they felt the need to tell their subscribers, and the hardship associated with their conflicting identities. If the viewers are skipping the end they are missing parts about the importance of telling their story, the importance of being their authentic self, and that call to action to speak up about being transgender and proud; the more positive aspects of the video. Briefly, in half of the videos the trans men and women talk about identifying as gay or lesbian as a precursor to identifying as transgender. Although gender expression and gender identity are separate by definition, American socialization has taught us that if you are an effeminate man you are gay and if you are a more masculine woman you are a lesbian; perhaps these individuals have been victims of this nomization. Two of the YouTubers expressed it was easier to identify as gay than transgender because then it was socially acceptable to be more masculine or feminine or wear women’s clothes as opposed to the clothes that society says are for their biological sex. Given this information, it is important to ask how it translates into the negative attitudes and opinions about the transgender population. Where do the myths and the stereotypes actually come from? In one of the videos the YouTuber said she identified as just a drag queen because she was afraid of what people might think. Is this just her experience or could this be a wide reaching phenomenon? Although violence against trans people was not talked about in the majority of the videos, it is important to note the prevalence of violent

70

Chapter Five

crimes committed against the them by regular citizens and the police as well (Moran and Sharpe 2004). According to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, “Transgender people were 3.7 times more likely to experience police violence… [and] were 7 times more likely to experience physical violence when interacting with the police compared to cisgender survivors and victims. Trans gender people of color were 6 times more likely to experience physical violence compared to White cisgender survivors and victims (Hate Violence Against Transgender Communities 2013). These statistics are higher for trans women than for trans men, perhaps because of the concept of passing. These women are perceived as men trying to be women and not just women, so therefore they are an easier target to identify (Godfrey 2015). The #SayHerName campaign founded by Kimberlé Crenshaw is actively trying to inform the public about the police brutality against Black women and trans women of color. Their efforts are to “… help [others] better understand and address Black women’s experiences of profiling and policing.” We must not just see their deaths as statistics and numbers, but to recognize them as individuals and say their names.

Devor’s and other identity development models Identity development models have been created in an attempt to understand LGBTQ peoples. D’Augelli (1994) created a model for LGB identity development along with others, and Devor (2004) created one for transgender/transsexual development. Devor’s model included fourteen stages: abiding anxiety, identity confusion about originally assigned gender and sex, identity comparison about originally assigned gender and sex, discovery of transgenderism, identity comparison about transgenderism, tolerance of transgender identity, delay before acceptance of transgender identity, acceptance of transgender identity, delay before transition, transition, acceptance of post-transition gender and sex identities, integration, and pride. Although the Devor model has actions and identities in fourteen specific categories, it is possible to deviate from this list/model. For example, there are many trans people who are pretransition that do a lot of trans advocacy. This model also asserts that passing is only successfully done after physical modification, but for many trans people (trans men especially) passing can be accomplished without HRT and/or SRS. Sexual reassignment surgery (SRS) is the process of getting female reproductive organs surgically removed and/or altered to resemble and function as male reproductive organs. This can include but is not limited to: phalloplasty, hysterectomy, mastectomy, vaginectomy, and

Transgender Identity Disclosures via YouTube Narratives

71

metoidioplasty amongst other surgeries (Monstrey, Ceulemans and Hoebeke 2011), as well as the process of getting male reproductive organs surgically removed and/or altered to resemble and function as female reproductive organs. This can include but is not limited to: vaginoplasty, breast augmentation, facial feminization, and penectomy (Micheletti nd). It is important to note that the functionality of these reassigned organs are different for everyone and the primary concern for medical professionals is aesthetics and sexual satisfaction post-surgery. Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is the process of taking hormones that are typically associated with the opposite gender. This “allows physiologic hormone serum levels to become compatible with the patients desired gender” (Micheletti n.d..) This model is also structured as if it should be successive, but many trans people, even the ones within the data set used in this study, clearly deviate from the order given in Devor’s model. However, the complexity of this model makes it the model of choice for those who choose to study the transgender population. It is important to note that attempts to understand the trans population cannot end once the identity model is understood, but it could be an impactful way to begin an understanding of trans people.

Implications This study has many implications, however, one of the biggest is to not only help cisgender (and those whom are not transgender) understand trans people so they can be advocates, but to more adequately train our medical professionals, clinicians, and therapists (especially the ones on our school and college campuses). Trans people that come to practitioners for help are not always getting the proper care and compassion they deserve. Part of the way to combat this is to adopt a social view of trans identity versus a medical view of trans identity. Healthcare providers are required to use certain language to help aid in mental health assessment and illness diagnosis. So the concepts of gender identity disorder and gender dysphoria are most likely not foreign to them. However, the way these terms are understood (within and outside of the healthcare community) could be detrimental to the LGBTQ community. Gender dysphoria and gender identity disorder as described previously are medical terms that allude to something being wrong with the individual or that they have something that can be fixed. Within this data set, only one of the vloggers used this term. It is important for researchers and clinicians to know the difference between the medical view of trans identity development and the social view of trans identity development.

72

Chapter Five

Since those are the medical terms used to describe the feelings a client or patient is describing it is important to remained sensitive and strive for understanding.

Limitations One limitation was the lack of diversity of trans people in the data set. Only one trans man was included. Perhaps the disparity was from the use of the term “transgender,” or maybe there are more trans women on YouTube vlogging their journey. Or it could be due to use of more specific terms like “FTM” on their videos. Trans men have an especially hard time debunking myths because of the underrepresentation in the media and the notion that “women” who present as more masculine are dykes or butch lesbians and not transgender (Halberstam1998) 5. Another limitation of this study was the lack of analysis of the intersectional implications of the findings. With the progressive nature of sexual and gender research, more attention on the intersections of race, socioeconomic status, relationship status should be taken in future. Further analysis does need to be done with the news specials and the interviews that were displayed in the initial search. This can help to add information about what is being aggregated for the general population about trans people. That information can subsequently help to hopefully explain the misinformation and the stereotyping around the transgender community.

References Burgess, Jean, and Joshua Green. YouTube: Online video and participatory culture. John Wiley & Sons, 2013. "Coming Out As Trans." Ohio University LGBT Center, 2016. Accessed October 4, 2016. https://www.ohio.edu/lgbt/resources/transcomingout.cfm. D'augelli, Anthony R. "Developmental and Contextual Factors and Mental Health Among Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Youths." Sexual Orientation and Mental Health: Examining Identity and Development in Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual People (1994): 37-53. Devor, Aaron. "Witnessing and Mirroring: A Fourteen Stage Model of Transsexual Identity Formation." WGLM Journal of Gay & Lesbian Mental Health J. of Gay & Lesbian Mental Health 8 (2004): 41-67. H.B. 2 General Assembly of North Carolina Second Extra Session 2016: Session Law 2016-3. North Carolina, 2016. Accessed October 1, 2016,

Transgender Identity Disclosures via YouTube Narratives

73

http://www.ncleg.net/Sessions/2015E2/Bills/House/PDF/H2v4.pdf Halberstam, Jack. Female Masculinity. Durham: Duke University Press, 1998. Hate Violence Against Transgender Communities. National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP), 2013. Gates, Gary J. "How Many People Are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender?" UCLA: The Williams Institute, 2011. Accessed October 4, 2016. https://escholarship.org/uc/item/09h684x2. Godfrey, C. "Transgender Men and Women Discuss the Politics of 'Passing." VICE. Accessed March 25, 2015. http://www.vice.com/read/passing-when-youre-transgender. Kuklin, Susan. Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak out. Somerville, MA: Candlewick, 2014. Lange, Patricia G. "Publicly private and privately public: Social networking on YouTube." Journal of ComputerǦMediated Communication 13 (2007): 361-380. Mehra, B., C. Merkel, and A. P. Bishop. "The Internet for Empowerment of Minority and Marginalized Users." New Media & Society 6 (2004): 781-802. Micheletti, Lorraine. "Sex Reassignment Surgery: An Overview of This Transition and the Nursing Care Required." Accessed October 4, 2016.http://nursing.advanceweb.com/Continuing-Education/CEArticles/Sex-Reassignment-Surgery.aspx. Monstrey, Stan, Peter Ceulemans, and Piet Hoebeke. "Sex Reassignment Surgery in the Female-to-Male Transsexual." Seminars in Plastic Surgery 25(2011): 229-44. Monteflores, Carmen, and Stephen J. Schultz. "Coming Out: Similarities and Differences for Lesbians and Gay Men." Journal of Social Issues 343 (1978): 59-72. Moran, L. J., and A. N. Sharpe. "Violence, Identity and Policing: The Case of Violence against Transgender People." Criminology and Criminal Justice 4 (2004): 395-417. Phelps-Ward, Robin, and Crystal T. Laura. "Talking Back in Cyberspace: Self-love, Hair Care, and Counter Narratives in Black Adolescent Girls’ YouTube Vlogs." Gender & Education, 2016, accessed October 4, 2016, https://www.researchgate.net/journal/1360-0516_Gender_and_Education The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Directed by J. Sharman. United States: Twentieth Century Fox, 1975.

74

Chapter Five

"‘They Aren’t Confused’: Landmark Study Shows Transgender Children Have Consistent, ‘Deeply-Held’ Gender Identity." Publichealthwatch, January 31, 2015. Accessed November 25, 2016. https://publichealthwatch.wordpress.com/2015/01/31/they-arentconfused-landmark-study-shows-transgender-children-have-consistentdeeply-held-gender-identity-2/. Tracy, Sarah J. Qualitative Research Methods: Collecting Evidence, Crafting Analysis, Communicating Impact. Chichester, West Sussex, UK: Wiley-Blackwell, 2013. Valentine, David. Imagining Transgender: An Ethnography of a Category. Durham: Duke University Press, 2007. Wilson, P., C. Sharp, and S. Carr. "The Prevalence of Gender Dysphoria in Scotland: A Primary Care Study." British Journal of General Practice, 1999, 991-92. Accessed October 4, 2016. http://bjgp.org/content/bjgp/49/449/991.full.pdf. Wright, Eric R., and Brea L. Perry. "Sexual Identity Distress, Social Support, and the Health of Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youth." Journal of Homosexuality 51 (2006): 81-110. YouTube. Video statistics (2016). Accessed March 29, 2016. https://www.youtube.com/yt/press/statistics.html

CHAPTER SIX I KISSED A GIRL: THE MUSIC INDUSTRY’S SALE OF A POSTMODERN/POST-FEMINIST FEMALE IDENTITY NICKESIA S. GORDON

Introduction Within current debates about feminism and postmodernism, what is clear is that mass culture has become the location within which battles for the construction of a female self are being waged. The struggles are bruising and the gains for feminism questionable. By this the author means that perceptions of female subjectivity remain problematic, given the consumer-based rhetoric of post-feminism that informs certain sectors of popular culture. Over the past decade, the idea that feminism has outgrown its objectives has been circulated by contemporary media culture. What has come to replace it is post- feminism, a politics of individual freedom and personal choice in which women can wield their sexual power, economic independence and consumer savvy. Post-feminism emphasizes the pastness of feminism and has even been conceived as a backlash against the strictures feminism previously placed on female sexuality and individual choice. (Busch 2009; Faludi 1991; Mosely and Reid 2004; Tasker and Negra, 2007). While there are contesting conceptions of post-feminism within (and outside of) academe, McRobbie’s (2007) account provides the most salient conceptual frame for this chapter’s examination of the workings of post-feminism as distributed by mass mediated popular culture. McRobbie understands post-feminism to “refer to an active process by which feminist gains of the 1970s and 1980s come to be undermined” (35). Furthermore, it proposes that “through an array of

76

Chapter Six

machinations, elements of contemporary popular culture are perniciously effective in regard to [an] undoing of feminism while simultaneously appearing to be engaging in a well-informed and even well-intended response to ‘feminism’” (35). This construction of a new post- feminist era suggests that through signifiers of freedom and choice, ostensibly associated with “young women,” feminism has been made redundant and is now a relic of the past. This reading of post-feminism that McRobbie provides presents a complexification that goes beyond backlash and which exposes the conflicting demands and values of this new female imagination, especially through its intersection with aspects of postmodernism. Such a postfeminist self locates its praxis within post-modern ideals of privileging the sign over its signifier, individualism over similarity, and image over substance. What is created is not necessarily a post-modern feminism, but a hybrid of what Douglas (2009) refers to as new sexism,1 and a floating, disembedded sign used to reference a particular brand of female empowerment. The chapter isn’t so much interested in articulating what post-modern feminism is or isn’t but more what is being created when aspects of postmodernism are selectively superimposed on female identity and then sold as post-feminism by mass mediated culture. Nowhere else is this juncture between postmodernism and post-feminism more discursively evident than in the pop music industry. I make this assertion because pop music’s and musicians' ability to influence audiences’ selfperception as well as to transform culture has been significantly amplified by its amalgamation with visual media (music videos and television shows) and new communication technologies such as social media, mobile telephony and the internet in general. As such, its power to influence social and popular culture has grown significantly over the past decade. This may be deduced from the fact that music is the most valued source of entertainment among 14-24 year olds in Britain based on time spent listening (TSL) (University of Hartfordshire 2009), while 45 percent of 1

Douglas chooses to use the term new sexism to describe post-feminism as belonging to a media and cultural environment in which feminism is explicitly pointed to…so it can be repudiated and as passé and irrelevant so that old stereotypes about women thought put to sleep can be revived (Douglass, 2009). This is because Douglass also understands post-feminism as having a more positive frame of reference, i.e. an intellectual and academic place “where second wave feminism is constructively engaged by third wave and third world feminisms” (94). However, I am more interested in the former reading and as such, prefer to use the term post-feminism because the latter interpretation does not apply to how post-feminism is practiced and conceived in popular music culture.

I Kissed a Girl

77

teens globally say they listen to five or more hours of music per week on their computer. Another 12 percent listen to 20 hours or more on their computers as well. Ownership trends in music playing devices such as MP3 players (which have also been developed to play video) and the fact that teens and young adults between the ages of 13-24 are spending more time consuming music than they do other forms of popular media content on these devices also support this claim. In 2006, 20 percent of Americans aged 12 and older owned a portable MP3 player, which marked a significant increase in ownership levels over the previous year (15 percent), and nearly doubled the proportion of owners found in April 2003, 11 percent. In 2015, almost ten years later, U.S., consumers spend 24 hours per week on average listening to music (Nielsen 2015). Additionally, of the 91 percent of Americans who listen to music, 75 percent report listening to music online every week, while 44 percent listen on smartphones (Nielsen 2015). Clearly, music, in its combined form of audio and visual, is consumed at a very high rate among young adults globally and in the US. It is also produced and sold at equally maddening pace with 1.3 billion units of music being sold in the US in 2015. According to the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), in 2015, women ages 13 and older were the heaviest consumers of pop music, accounting for fifty-one percent of all music buyers. The heaviest consumers among that group are women between the ages of 18 and 24, accounting for 56% of female listeners in the U.S (RIAA 2015). It may be deduced that much of the music being listened to was pop music given that that genre of music ranks as the second most popular among listeners in general in the US. Given that pop music is so ubiquitous and its ability to influence so profound, the question of content/ messaging becomes pertinent. The remainder of the discussion focuses on the relationship between the political economy of the music industry and the social positioning of women in American popular culture. From this perspective, the chapter examines the nexus between the production, sale and consumption of pop music and the construction of female identity. The author argues that the pop music industry composes and churns out a construct of female identity that is disempowering and enfeebling even as it tries to depict women as independent and “ballsy.” The latter image is fraught with inconsistencies and contradictions and represents a consumer model of feminism that labels itself as post-feminist and postmodern. These constructs have little to do with any female politics of the self but are mostly created as an ideal for the selling of records. Along this vein, I reflect on two popular songs recorded by two female artistes who are self-proclaimed feminists, or who

78

Chapter Six

seem to embody feminist ideals in the eyes of their fans, several of whom were my students. The songs I chose are not the artists’ most recent but were selected because they have become pop anthems, as their lyrics seem to resonate with the theme of female empowerment in the minds of fans. The two songs being analyzed are “I Kissed a Girl” by Katy Perry and “Paparazzi” by Lady Gaga. The reflections explore representations of particular kinds of female identities espoused by each song, which, despite their allusions to a strong and autonomous female self, somehow reproduce a discourse that contributes to the commodification of female subjectivity. This contradiction highlights a tension that exists between two versions of feminism articulated by the music industry’s commercial discourse, namely, one that is post and another that is past.

Post-feminism vs. (past)-feminism The version of a liberated female self currently being circulated by popular cultural forms such as music is presented as being the inevitable “growing up” of feminism, or more precisely, the “growing out” of feminism and its ideals. Accordingly, women are being invited to express themselves as post-feminist, which is now à la mode, and to repudiate (past) feminism, which is now projected as being passé. The logic of postfeminism rests in its claim that the goals of feminism have been accomplished, i.e. social and economic equality and overall female empowerment. It further argues that women are no longer oppressed by systemic sexism, capitalism or any other isms, all of the above having been overcome. It also rests on the axiom of individualism and consent, wherein women are portrayed as being free to make their own choices, which includes flaunting their sexuality and just being “one of the boys.” However, on closer examination, one finds gross discrepancies between these representations of empowerment and the obvious structures of exploitation that exist within mass mediated popular culture. These discrepancies are best appreciated by outlining the assumptions of (past) feminism to see how close (or far) post-feminism’s claims of fait accompli are. Feminism, as Annette Kuhn (1994) puts it, may be described as “a set of political practices founded in analyses of the social/historical position of women as subordinated, oppressed or exploited either within dominant modes of production (such as capitalism) and/or by social relations of patriarchy or male domination” (4). Kuhn’s observations capture the critical concerns of feminist theory and practice, which fundamentally pivot around the patriarchal organization of female subjectivity. As such, it

I Kissed a Girl

79

would not be unreasonable to suggest that feminist concern is primarily a concern with female representation, i.e. the image of womanhood that is projected through systems of patriarchy. The image of womanhood that is constructed by patriarchy is invariably sexual and limiting in nature. As Helene Cixous (1980) points out, “women’s imaginary is inexhaustible” (246), yet male-centered discourse insists on defining female subjectivity in rather restrictive sexual terms. For example, women are either castrating Medusas or unfathomable continents, as Freud (1950) postulates. These definitions of womanhood relegate females to the position of objectified other and are tools used to maintain patriarchal hegemony. The control that patriarchy assumes over the construction of female identity has been, for the most part, facilitated through language and its political application. Feminist theory has consistently referred to the phallocentric nature of language which “hears in language only that which speaks in the masculine” (Cixous 1980, 251). As it is language that constructs identity, it follows that the group that is in control of language will also be in control of the construction of subjectivity. Consequently, “[i]t comes as no surprise…that language is an instrument of oppression” (Littlejohn 2001, 224) that has been used to mute the experiences and voices of women. As such, women can only be spoken about, as they are rendered voiceless. This denial of agency facilitates the patriarchal project of female objectification and enables the exploitation of women “within dominant modes of production” (Kuhn 1994, 4). Capitalism is the current mode of production which “[dissects] the female body into zones of consumption” (Roy 1998, 67). Woman thus becomes a commodity within the capitalist marketplace, “used and exchanged by men”(Irigary, in Roy 1985, 67). Osgerby (2003) points out that since the 1980s, a growing body of research has charted the historical relationship between consumerism and female identity. This observation refers to the pervasive construction of female identity in relation to a particular commercial revolution which became highly noticeable in the 1980s. Accordingly, women were established as the principal consumers of a new hypercapitalist market. However, not only are women consumers, they are rabidly being consumed themselves within the capitalist marketplace, their bodies transformed into merchandise and commodities for sale. Consequently, “a woman’s image contained nothing intrinsic to herself as a whole person” (Roy 1998, 67) but rather constituted a series of “synechdoche for the commodities she incorporated in her ‘persona’” (67). As noted earlier, this construction of the female body as goods is first enabled through language

80

Chapter Six

and its metonymical usage. Language “is instrumental in constructing the world in which we live” (Littlejohn 2002), and as such, its patriarchal control engenders a construction of the female body as commodity by facilitating a metonymical application of language that reduces the referent, in this case woman, to the status of sign. As a sign represents something other than itself, the use of the term post-feminist becomes a metonym for female identity and is an attempt to make the body capital. It is clear from the above account of feminist concerns that the mission is far from accomplished. First, what post-feminism heralds as freedom of choice and individual consent among women to live a lifestyle of their choosing is more a discourse that masks the fact that this agency is staged and is a mask that hides the exploitative nature of the current capitalist power structure (Pitcher 2006). The notion that all women’s practices are freely chosen and that they are autonomous agents unconstrained by inequalities or power balances obfuscates the fact that the image of the independent, empowered, post-feminist woman is strictly sexual. Women’s freedom is construed as residing in their sexuality and as Gill (2007) notes, “[g]irls and women are invited to become a particular kind of self, and are endowed with agency on condition that it is used to construct oneself as a subject closely resembling the heterosexual male fantasy found in pornography” (152). This valorizing of a “sexy body” as a woman’s key source of identity and power marks the return of (not that it actually went anywhere) the male gaze and traditional forms of female stereotypes, only in a more insidious form. That is to say, women are not straightforwardly objectified but are portrayed as active, desiring sexual subjects (notobjects) who choose to present themselves in a seemingly objectified manner (Gill 2007) through the grammar of consent. Women are hereby seen as willing participants in their construal as sexual subjects and they are doing so because it is emancipating, given that “sexist imagery allegedly doesn’t matter anymore because equality has supposedly been achieved” (Douglas 2009). However, this discourse of consent as freedom is mostly a way to normalize and universalize a particular kind of lifestyle and behavior that benefits the demands of consumer culture. The technology of individual choice is grounded in consumerism and becomes melded with sexuality to mass produce a commodified version of feminism that is packaged and distributed as a global product (Feigenbaum 2007; Tasker and Negra 2007). Women themselves then become the biggest consumers of this product, as the dramatic increases in number of women having Brazilian waxes, breast implants and other cosmetic procedures as well as using

I Kissed a Girl

81

beauty products indicate. This cult of commodification as empowerment, interpolated by women as the desire to please oneself or be oneself, resonates powerfully with the consent logic construed by post-feminism and even more powerfully with the ethos of consumerism/capitalism when you take into account that in 2008, $10.3 billion was spent on cosmetic procedures in the US. Of the 12.1 million cosmetic procedures done, 91 percent were done by women (American Society of Plastic Surgeons 2009). The makeup industry was simultaneously valued at $ 8.1 billion, with increased sales despite the economic downturn of 2008. These numbers indicate an economic connection between the culture of constructing women’s bodies as the locus of their identity and power. This reading represents a homogeneous notion of whom or what a woman is, resulting in a valued look that is very similar, i.e. young, hairless, tanned, slim, ample chested and wrinkle free, and which are socially constructed, mass mediated ideals of beauty and selfhood internalized and made our own (Gill 2007). There is little diversity in the construct, as it is easier to sell a standardized product, especially one labeled as the gateway to selffulfillment and empowerment. The sale of hypersexuality as liberating makes a very good commercial argument (Douglas 2009), and so consumption becomes a strategy for the construction of the self. Postfeminism as a strategy grounded in the creation of an autonomous sexual self offers freedom, but mainly the freedom to shop and do cosmetic surgery, a throwback to what Bell and Kline (1996) refer to as “the troubled realm of desire” (xix-xx), which is quite problematic. Another related way in which post-feminism tries to eclipse feminism and support the political economy of consumption is through the privileging of individualism among women. Narratives of contemporary popular culture echo individuation, wherein women are encouraged to be themselves and to please themselves. Self-indulgence and pampering are the hallmarks of this self-pleasing. However, the pleasing of oneself invariably amounts to getting a boob job, as previously mentioned, or some equally self-perfecting or sexual augmenting deed. Kate Taylor (2006), a British based freelance presenter, producer and journalist rants in an article for the UK Guardian, “Raunch culture is not about liberation gone wrong; it's about rediscovering the joy of being loved for your body…If a thong makes you feel fabulous, wear it” (Taylor 2006). Here, Taylor is invoking an invention of a post-feminist self-associated with notions of personal fulfillment, self-love and individual expression. However, what is elided by the hawking of an individuated female persona is the way in which it re-privatizes issues that were made political. It marks a return to the private domain where the personal is no longer

82

Chapter Six

political (Gill 2007) and where feminism becomes depoliticized. In this regard, post-feminism is a-political and creates a climate in which feminist issues are repudiated and opposition to regressive and retrograde depictions of women silenced or mercilessly derided: The twenty something women I know don't care about old-style feminism. Partly this is because they already see themselves as equal to men: they can work, they can vote, they can bonk on the first date. For younger women, raunch is not about feminism, it's just about fashion. Another reason for the rise of raunch is that women are rediscovering the joy of being loved for their bodies, not just their minds. Today sexes mix a lot more than they used to, so boys grow up having girls as friends. They tend to listen to what women have to say, and when they marry they don't consider sharing the housework to be castrating. Instead of desperately longing for the right to be seen as human beings, today's girls are playing with the old-fashioned notion of being seen as sex objects. This is not terrible news. In fact, to me, this is the ultimate feminist ideal… It has always been like this, and it always will be, because men's achilles heel is that they go to pieces when a woman drops her top. Oldstyle feminists never understood this, but their way is not the only way to achieve equality with men. The world is different now, and we should follow the trends instead of waving the banners of 20 years ago. That version of feminism will never regain its popularity as long as its proponents insist on lecturing, instead of leading (Taylor 2006).

These attacks on feminism function to discredit feminist issues and erase them from the political landscape (Feigenbaum 2007), while at the same time nullifying the space for any critique or alternative discourse (Gill 2007; McRobbie 2007). Criticism of this shift to post-feminism is seen to be anti-sex, prudish and unwanted, the latter resonating powerfully with the logic of choice/consent articulated by post-feminist discursive practices, i.e. since woman have chosen to exert their sexual power it is oppressive to prevent them from doing so. The dangers of this displacement of feminism as a political movement via a retreat to the private sphere are apparently not self-evident enough. The personal hardly enters the public sphere unless it is politicized and issues such as rape, misogyny, domestic abuse, reproductive rights and economic and social inequities as they pertain to women should not be relegated to the hushed confines of a parlor but be vigorously debated in the highest public office. Withholding critique becomes a condition of freedom in post-feminist culture (Tasker and Negra 2007), wherein bodies are produced as undifferentiated commodities and post-feminism participates in the ideological and economic normalization of new patterns of sexism and exclusion. I now offer my reflections on the songs in the form of a loose textual analysis.

I Kissed a Girl

83

Each section is accompanied by direct reflections from students in my Communication and Gender class (COM 311), which I teach alternative fall semesters. These thoughts are from the fall 2015 class. Students are not named in order to protect their privacy.

I kissed a girl and the experimental game: Feminism gone wild When Katie Perry’s song, “I Kissed a Girl” hit airwaves in 2008, it set off a maelstrom of reaction among various interest groups. For instance, the gay community found it offensive and deemed it an attack on lesbianism. Bloggers asked, “What do you have against gay people Katie Perry?” (duane 2008) and newspaper headlines queried “Are Katy Perry's lyrics homophobic?” (Robinson 2008). The religious community was equally perturbed, albeit by the opposite reason given by members of the LGBTQ community. I must admit that I too find the song problematic, but more so for its strong post-feminist discourse which tries to reify a commercial brand of female empowerment through its invocation of the individual choice and consent rationales. These arguments then produce a meta-narrative in the song that invites girls to “transgress” through experimentation in a public performance of sexuality, so titillating because of its “wrongness” and yet so empowering because of its “liberalism.” At the heart of this narrative, however, is a carefully constructed commercial argument that uses branded feminism to sell records. First, the song’s ode to experimentation is a carefully packaged trope for exploitation. This is achieved through an invocation of the inveterate image of “girls gone wild,” only it’s of their own volition so, as a result, is therefore empowering. Sexual experimentation in the song is alluded to by the performer’s curiosity “just to try it,” (kissing a girl, that is) and is also explicitly stated when the singer lets us know that what she is doing is her “experimental game.” The experiment is exploring bisexuality and its potential liberating propensities. The invitation is also being made to “try it” because who knows, you just might like it. The possibilities of experimentation are heightened when Perry reveals that this isn’t something so-called good girls normally do, and this clandestine disobedience becomes all the more titillating because this is the moment when good girls go bad, and what can be more liberating than breaking the rules! Even more important, what can be more empowering than choosing to subvert the sexual “norm” and establishing your own sexual freedom. This type of decision is normalized and established as an issue affecting a person’s identity in the song when the singer tells us, it’s “just

84

Chapter Six

human nature.” Herein lays the post-feminist ruse. What is here established as freedom of choice to be sexually free and to exhibit one’s “natural” identity carefully masks the fact that meanings of choice, individual freedom and identity are being melded to images of sexuality only. Sexuality thus remains the locus of female identity, which is hardly subversive or remotely empowering as it signals a return to limiting (patriarchal) conceptions of the female imaginary. Another important caveat about Perry’s song is its use of the archetypal good girl gone bad image to stage a peep show that deliberately invites the male gaze. At the root of “I Kissed a Girl” is some good oldfashioned girl-on-girl action, or what some fans referred to as girls “lezzing” off with each other. Whether girls or women like “lezzing” off with each other is moot. What is critical is that the discourse that girls like “lezzing” off with each other is masculine and was designed to satisfy male voyeurism or the male gaze. In this regard, the song reproduces not just its own sales through making lesbianism exciting and liberating for women but also sales for a whole chain of other products from the music and related industries by making “lezzing” off fetish. Fetishism usually constructs the individual as an object, “territorialized in material space,” as Apter (2003) puts it. This object, in the case of the music industry and Perry’s song, is lesbianism, a product constructed to be hawked. The hawking is legitimated through the portal of consent and individual choice that post-feminism provides. Consequently, the depiction of women kissing each other is not a celebration of lesbianism or sexual freedom but is more a projection of them as commercial commodities for mass-culine consumption. The song and its account of female identity operate metanarratively in the political economy of the music industry to depersonalize lesbianism and to reproduce ‘lezzing” off as a sexy product that can be sold, predominantly to men. Reflection #1 Communication and Gender (COM 311) Student #1: Through my own personal experiences, when I was younger, I experimented sexually with a woman, engaging in threesomes with the guy I was dating at the time. It was not because of my own curiosity as to why I participated, but I did it because I wanted to please the man that I was dating. The men that I have come across ALL want to experience what it is like to be with two women at the same time. It would be considered a man’s favorite sexual fantasy, but what about the fantasies women have? Would a woman feel comfortable asking her significant other to have a sexual threesome, but not two girls and one guy, instead two men and one female? What would the man say to that request? I have noticed that men are more comfortable asking for their sexual fantasies to be fulfilled by

I Kissed a Girl

85

their significant others, most men feel like it is okay for men to request such things and he would probably get upset if she was to say no. On the other hand, that same man would go into a fit of rage if his significant other requested the same thing, but the other way around (with two men). Why is it that men feel it is more acceptable to play out their sexually deviant fantasies for their own selfish reasons? Does gender roles and identity play a huge part in that when they have similar requests?

Lady Gaga: From lezzies to crazies If Katie Perry’s song is an ode to the male gaze, then Lady Gaga’s is an epic, only minus the heroic deeds and events. Gaga, with her fourth number one hit, “Paparazzi” from her album The Fame, was queen of the billboard charts in 2008, breaking the record for the most number one hits from a single album and scoring legions of fans globally. Gaga has fascinated us with her “weirdness” and shocked us with her apparent disregard for “propriety.” She is not a good girl gone bad, she is just plain bad, the ultimate post-feminist. While this image of Lady Gaga as the tough, hardcore sex goddess has been lauded as rebellious and subversive, it remains problematic. A closer look at Gaga’s song, “Paparazzi,” as well as the accompanying video and visual images used for promotion, reveals a troubling representation of women as “disturbed.” In the song, “Paparazzi,” Lady Gaga, or the female protagonist/antagonist she portrays, is a stalker. She is obsessed with a man, apparently a superstar, and vows to “chase [him] down until [he] loves [her].” Her obsession is frightening, as she spies on him backstage during a show, “staring between the sets.” Her psychosis is also alarming wherein she “promises” to be kind, a declaration that seems more a veiled threat than an assurance. The character is clearly delusional, as there doesn’t seem to be any evidence that the superstar knows of her existence. The crazed image of the paparazzi that stalks us throughout the song further alerts us to the mental instability of this person. She is not to be trusted and is potentially dangerous. The image of the paparazzi also warns us that this is a person for whom there should be no compassion, as she is a nuisance, an aberration; in short, a crazy bitch. This is an image of women that is not so innocent. It recalls the Freudian concept of women as psychologically disturbed, hysterical creatures whose mental health is constantly at risk due to their “wandering” uteruses. The idea of women as psychotic is predicated on a gender-based account of madness which has its roots in Freudian psychoanalysis. According to this psycho-social framework, the "normal" functioning of a woman's brain depends upon the condition of the uterus

Chapter Six

86

and “proper” sexual orientation through maternal socialization. If the latter fails to happen, then the stability of the female mind is jeopardized. According to this worldview, women are perennially on the verge of deviance, given their “natural” propensity to be crazy. The song’s and Gaga’s insinuation of female craziness is definitely a big deal, as it positions women as potential threats and gives legitimacy to patriarchal containment of female subjectivity, a subjectivity construed as dangerous. The Freudian allusions continue with the images of Gaga herself found in music videos and publicity photos. As mentioned earlier, Lady Gaga positions herself as the tough but sexy chic. However, what she succeeds in accomplishing is an exaltation of another problematic image of women that is essentially Freudian in nature, namely the construct of women as Queen Bees, Medusas and Pr[e]ying Mantises. These are women who are naturally seductive but very dangerous as they entice men only to suck them dry. Medusa makes the spectator stiff, in more ways than one, with the terror of her gaze while the Queen Bee and Mantis devour men, but only after mating with them. In her video for the song, “Bad Romance,” Lady Gaga embodies these castrating women almost too perfectly. In the closing scenes in the video, Gaga lays half naked in bed beside a burnt-out corpse, fire gashing from her metallic conical breasts, apparently the source of the skeleton’s demise. The Queen Bee strikes again. Similarly, in the music video for “Paparazzi,” another unsuspecting lover bites the dust, this time through poison administered by the Lady. This, apparently, is Gaga’s Kill Bill version of the tough female spirit. Not only does it recall the prototypical phallic woman who threatens men with castration and death, it reproduces flawed ideas about female empowerment. Once again, female agency is agglomerated with sexuality as the images of the seductress (inherent in Medusa et al) imply, only this time sexuality has an edge, a very crazy edge. Finally, in “Paparazzi,” the song and music video, Lady Gaga’s brand of feminism, like that of fellow singer, Katy Perry, provide an opportunity for women to revel as objects of the consuming male gaze. This is done by invoking the culture (or more so cult) of the groupie, wherein women are always up for it, especially if there is the promise that they will get something out of it. In the song, the singer knows that one day her stalkee will “be famous,” which is perhaps why she persists in chasing him. However, she is not only a stalker, she is a groupie as well: I'll be your girl Backstage at your show Velvet ropes and guitars Yeah cause you'll know

I Kissed a Girl

87

I'm staring between the sets Eyeliner and cigarettes

The idea of the groupie carries over into the music video, a celebration of raunchiness in which women are gagging for it. The video opens with a racy scene of Gaga making love to her “superstar.” The action moves from the bedroom to a balcony where a near rape scene ensues; Gaga objects to having her picture taken by the paparazzi while making love and her lover insists on continuing. He finally throws her off the balcony after she, in a crazy fit, smashes his head with a champagne bottle. This scene is disturbing not just for its depiction of rape but the triviality with which it is treated. Even though she is abused by her lover, the groupie returns, vowing to follow him until he loves her. This slavish devotion can only be explained by the power dynamics of desire enacted in the video. As Foucault has explained, “pleasure and power do not cancel or turn back against one another; they seek out, overlap, and reinforce one another. They are linked together by complex mechanisms and devices of excitation and incitement” (quoted in Pitcher 2006, 208) Consequently, power incites desire, which keeps the groupie coming back despite being abused. This reproduction of the power structure in the music video is reflexive in that it mirrors the groupie culture that exists in the pop music industry. But the industry is by no means laughing at or censoring itself. It is legitimizing and even encouraging this aspect of the business by making groupie life seem desirable. The post-feminist discourse of female empowerment through sexuality and consent is once again called upon to make this argument. It’s another staging of girls gone wild in the video, with plenty of bare bottoms and girl-on-girl action. Of course, the argument goes, the women who are participating are doing so because they want to, given their sexual liberation and independence. However, as previously stated, this logic of consent hides the real exploitative structure of this set up. These bodies are being created and fetishized for masculine consumption and to help boost record sales.

Conclusion According to Lock (1993), “the historical consciousness of the [community] is expressed implicitly through the bodies of ‘its most potent icons’, the women” (136). The present historical, or perhaps a-historical would be a better word, consciousness is permeated by a mediated popular culture that conceives of women in very limiting ways, that is, through their bodies. This reality is denied, however, by the current post-feminist

88

Chapter Six

discourse which assumes feminism to be dead and women to be ‘free.” At the meta- level, a post-feminist grammar encourages masculine consumption of the female body by focusing on the corporeal, that is to say, an image of women as objects, as parts separate from a mind or spirit. This image is then mass produced, packaged, advertised and distributed through the lyrics of popular songs. Female bodies become commodities that are made available to feed the capitalist desire for consumption through the purchase of a record album. Bodies are fetishized and a woman thus conceived is relegated to a fantasied presence. It is concerning to me that so many of my students, male and female, buy this articulation of female identity, even those who view themselves as advocates for gender rights. Witnessing the rise of rape culture on college campuses makes this acceptance of female identity among students even more troubling for me. As other authors in this volume have advocated, creating more course work across different disciplines/majors that addresses these issues and which provide a forum for dialogue and reflection is critical in dismantling distorted constructions of female (and male) identities. Such course content can be windows through which students can begin to view different imaginaries of what it means to be themselves. Reflection #2 Communication and Gender (COM 311) Student #2: As I was sitting in the backseat of my dad’s Oldsmobile wagon, I watched my parents engage in one of their typical arguments. This time, I observed the actual conversation between my parents, verbal and nonverbal, and I realized that I would never want to look the way that my mother did that day. She had shrunk and looked small and fragile next to my dad like she always did. My father dismissed my mother’s argument and like usual, she became submissive to his words and needs. Their different conversational styles caught my attention and I started to take a closer look at the difference between my mother’s role in my household versus my father’s role. I started to take notes to take notes of the roles other women in life in my life played in society and realized that I was expected to act a certain, not only because I am female but also because I am a Spanish woman.

References Apter, Emily. Fetishism as Cultural Discourse. New York: Cornell University Press, 1993. Binkely, Sam and Jo Littler. “Cultural Studies and Anti-Consumerism: A Critical Encounter.” Cultural Studies 22(2008): 519-5.

I Kissed a Girl

89

Bisplinghoff, Gretchen.” Mother’s Madness and Melodrama.” Jump Cut: A Review of Contemporary Media 27(1992): 120-126. Brundson, Charlotte. “Feminism, Postfeminism, Martha, Martha and Nigella.” Cinema Journal 44(2005): 110-116. Busch, Elizabeth. “Ally Mcbeal to Desperate Housewives: A Brief History of The Postfeminist Heroine.” Perspectives on Political Science 38(2009): 87-97. Chodorow, Nancy. “Gender as A Persona and Cultural Construction.” Signs 20(1995): 516-544. Cixous, H. “The Laugh of the Medusa.” New French Feminisms (1980): 245-267. Duane. “What do you have against gay people Katy Perry?” Duanemoody.com, June 9, 2008. Accessed November 25, 2016. http://www.duanemoody.com/2008/06/what-do-you-have-against-gaypeople-katy-perry/ Faludi, Susan. “Blame It On Feminism.” In Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women, edited by Susan Faludi 1-18. New York: Doubleday, 1991. Feigenbaum, Anna. “Remapping the Resonances of Riot Grrl: Feminisms, Postfeminisms and “Processes” Of Punk.” In Interrogating postfeminism: Gender and the politics of popular culture, edited by Yvonne Tasker and Diane Negra, 132-152. North Carolina: Duke University Press, 2007. Ferrari, Chiara. “Contested Foundations: Postmodern Feminism and The Case of the Union of Italian Women.” Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society 33(2008): 569-594. Freud, Sigmund. “Medusa’s Head.”In Sigmund Freud, Collected Papers, edited by James Strachey London: Hogarth Press,1950. Gill, Rosalind. Postfeminist Media Culture: Elements of a Sensibility,” European Journal of Cultural Studies 10(2007): 147-166. hooks, bell. 2001. “Eating the Other: Desire and Resistance, in Durham.” In Media and Cultural Studies: Key Works, edited by Meenakshi Durham and Douglas Kellner. Massachusetts: Blackwell Publishers, 2001. Kuhn, Annette. Women’s Pictures: Feminism and Cinema, 2nd ed. New York: Verso, 1994. Lady Gaga. “Paparazzi,” On The fame [CD]. Santa Monica: Interscope, 2009. Lee, Hye Jin and Huike Wen. “Where the Girls Are in the Age of New Sexism: An Interview with Susan Douglas.” Journal of Communication Inquiry 33(2008): 93-103.

90

Chapter Six

Littlejohn, Stephen. Theories of Human Communication. California: Wadsworth, 2002. Lock, Margaret. “Cultivating The Body” Anthropology and Epistemologies of Bodily Practice and Knowledge.” Annual Review of Anthropology 22(1993): 133-155. Mail Online. “Lady Gaga Dances in the Bath and Sleeps with a Skeleton in her Wackiest Video Yet.” Daily Mail, November 09, 2009. Accessed September 30, 2016. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1226868/Eccentricsinger-Lady-Gaga-lives-reputation-weirdest-wackiest-video-date.html McRobbie, Angela. “Young Women and Consumer Culture: An Intervention.” Cultural Studies 22(2008): 531-550. McRobbie, A. “Post Feminism and Popular Culture: Bridget Jones And The New Gender Regime.” In Interrogating Post-Feminism: Gender and The Politics of Popular Culture, edited by Yvonne Tasker and Diane Negra, 1-25. North Carolina: Duke University Press, 2007. McRobbie, Angela. “Feminism, Postmodernism and The ‘Real Me.” In Media and Cultural Studies: Key Works, edited by Meenakshi Durham and Douglas Kellner. Massachusetts: Blackwell Publishers, 2001. Michie, Helena. The Flesh Made Word: Female Figures and Women’s Bodies. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1987. Moi, Toril. Sexual Textual Politics, Feminist Literary Theory. New York: Methuen & Co. Ltd, 1986. Ogersby, Bill. “A pedigree of the Consuming Male: Masculinity, Consumption and the American "Leisure Class."’ Masculinity and Men's Lifestyle Magazines, edited by Bethan Benwell, Sociological Review edited monographs series, 2003. Perry, Katy. I Kissed a Girl. On Katy Perry one of the boys [CD]. Los Angeles: Capitol Records, 2008. Pitcher, Karen. “The Staging of Agency in Girls Gone Wild.” Critical Studies in Media Communication 23(2007): 200-218. RIAA. “Music Consumer Profile—2015.” RIAA, 2015. Accessed November 25, 2016 from https://www.riaa.com/wp-content/uploads/ 2016/08/MusicWatch-Music-Consumer-Profile-2015.pdf Robinson, Peter. “Are Katy Perry’s Lyrics Homophobic?” The Guardian, August 8, 2008. Accessed November 25, 2016, https://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/2008/aug/08/arekatype rryslyricshomopho Roseneli, Sasha. “Postmodern Feminist Politics: The Art of The (Im)Possible?” European Journal of Women’s Studies 6(1999): 161182.

I Kissed a Girl

91

Roy, Abhik. Selling Stereotypes: Images of Women in Indian Television Commercials. New Delhi: New Concept Information Systems, 1998. Strinati, Dominic. “The Big Nothing? Contemporary Culture and the Emergence of Postmodernism.” Innovation in Social Sciences Research 6(1993). Tasker, Y.vonne and Diane Negra. “Introduction.” In Interrogating Postfeminism: Gender and the Politics of Popular culture, edited by Yvonne Tasker and Diane Negra, 26-38. North Carolina: Duke University Press, 2007. Taylor, Kate. “Today’s Ultimate Feminists Are the Chicks in Crop Tops.” The Guardian, March 22, 2006. Accessed November 10, 2009. http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2006/mar/23/comment.gender. Wicke, Jennifer and Margaret Ferguson “Introduction: Feminism and Postfeminism: Or, The Way We Live Now.” Boundary 2(1992): 1-9.

CHAPTER SEVEN GENDER AND SPACE: NEGOTIATING IDENTITIES AS YOUNG ADULTS THROUGH NEIGHBORHOODS OF NEW YORK CITY LILI SHI

Gender and space have commonly been explored together. From a communication point of view, they are interactive, mutually constituting and confining. Judith Halberstam (2005, 1) in the opening of her book, In a Queer Time and Space, succinctly proposes that gender “develops according to logics of location, movement, and identification,” that gender is “a way of life” of a certain time and place. To highlight such profound communicativeness between gender and space in a liberal arts classroom brings forward great pedagogical possibilities and challenges. In my course Intercultural Communication - where cultural space and identity are core course concepts - my students and I have examined how space is produced by human communication that in turn shapes identity. Gender always emerges as one of the most significant identities that students reflect upon in relation to space. For example, we have worked hard to agree that meanings of both gender and space are lived through communication instead of mere sociological categories of labels or locales. We have argued that both gender and space can be personal and private, yet are simultaneously cultural and political. We have reflected collectively and independently on our lived experiences – how each of us identify, perform, and negotiate our gender similarly or differently in relation to various identity politics of public and domestic spaces, how gentrification and immigration influence such, and how coming-of-age, family migration, generational gaps or other domestic life events change the internal politics of our home space that consequently influence our gender identities.

Gender and Space

93

To engage in thoughtful conversations on such issues where everyone feels safe and willing to participate in class has not been an easy task. In my four years teaching Intercultural Communication, many assignments were designed and run regarding cultural space and identity. From sight visits to essays, these assignments have succeeded and failed in different ways. In the past year, after many semesters of tweaking, one particular assignment--brainstormed by students--that involves taking smartphone photos of spaces as they carry on their daily lives turned out to be particularly productive in inviting students’ reflective conversations on identity and space, particularly gender and space. This essay shares the wonderfully rich narratives of students’ life stories, examples, and analyses of lived experiences of gender and space, through which the complex locales of gender consciousness and gender performance are explored. To structure students’ narratives cohesively in this essay, I nonexhaustively highlight seven locales in the landscape of gender spatiality of the students: 1) the home space 2) loss of space 3) new space 4) changed space 5) fluid space 6) body as space and 7) space of others. I explain this educational experience as a process through which students developed space-consciousness about gender, and in due course, civic mindfulness to embrace and protect gender diversity.

The class assignment that becomes the conversation The assignment was a scaffolded midterm creative presentation in the course Intercultural Communication. It was preceded by readings and writings, including free-writes and one formal essay, on three core concepts identity, cultural space, and dialectics of culture. Key texts used as reading and writing were our textbook Experiencing Intercultural Communication (Martin and Nakayama 2014), as well as the article A Dialectical Approach to Intercultural Communication (Martin, Nakayama, and Flores 1998). The proceeding readings and writings prepared students to understand 1) identities are dynamic and influenced by culture (Martin and Nakayama 2014, 95-105); 2) a cultural space is a place--not necessarily physical--infused with meanings and relationships for an individual as a result of communication (Martin and Nakayama 2014, 95105); 3) There are always dialectics involved in culture that promise changes and contradictions (Martin, Nakayama, and Flores 1998, 5), One may feel belonging and alienation at the same time with a group or space. Such foregrounding of theory prepared students with a working rubric to think through lived experiences of identities—for example, gender—in a communicative context of space and culture.

94

Chapter Seven

Next, the presentation assignment – which is the focus of this essay – followed right after the midterm exam that serves as a “pause” to intensive traditional academic work. The assignment was brainstormed by a group of former students who were enthusiastic about digital photography and was tweaked for better classroom outcome over time. It asked each student to conduct auto-ethnographic digital journalism in which the student takes or finds three digital photos that are the student’s most significant cultural spaces in New York City that communicate their identities. Two of the spaces should be where the student feels mostly belonged, at-home, and accepted, and the other are to be somewhat alienating, uncomfortable, and unwelcomed. The students were asked to organize the images onto Powerpoint, and verbally describe their identity-forming experiences while visually presenting each space. They were asked to apply the three key course concepts as detailed as they could manage, and use relevant examples and thoughts from their prior scaffolded writings. Specifically, during the presentation, they were asked to discuss for the first two photos 1) brief demographic and historic information of the neighborhood/ space, 2) core personal identities (e.g. gender, race, class, etc.) communicated in the space, 3) dialectics experienced in the space (whether the space or feelings changed, whether there were contradictions to that belonging, whether membership to that space was only conditional, etc.). For the third space that was somehow alienating, students were asked to discuss 1) demographic and historic info, 2) what personal identities are rejected in that space and why, 3) what forms of violation were entailed if the student stays in the space. The presentation is asked to be 6 to7 minutes long. While this cultural space assignment was not specifically on gender but identities in general, abundant narratives on gender and its intersections with age, race, class, immigration, religion, etc. have emerged from students’ presentations nevertheless. Non-exhaustively, I extract and highlight seven themes from students’ work as the “seven seas” of engendering locales of gender spatiality. Particularly, through the “seven seas,” students demonstrated and reflected on how “gender troubles” are spatially experienced and spatially governed by the geo-cultural politics of communication. The students’ narratives collected for this book chapter were gathered in fall 2015 and spring 2016, approved by the Internal Review Board of the City University of New York. As it is impossible to include everyone’s work in one essay, I chose two or three of the richest and most representative presentations as the multi-faceted gems for each “sea”. This essay means to share a pedagogical intervention as well as a mosaic showcase of the riches and complexity when gender and space are simultaneously engaged by students.

Gender and Space

95

The “seven seas” of gender spatiality The “seven seas” are in no way completely capturing the richness of students’ experiences, yet are most representative of the engendering spaces pondered, questioned, identified or resisted by students. The photos are not included in this essay due to technical and other difficulties related to protecting privacy. The presentations were not recorded. Quotes from presentations are restored from abstracts and bullets points on students’ Powerpoint slides as well as my instructor’s notes from the days of the presentations. The names of students in this essay are all pseudonyms.

The home space “The home’ space” was at the core of the conversation since this assignment was centered on identity and belonging. Many students accounted the home as the first engendering cultural space. For example, they learned to dress and behave their gender and certain ethnicity, religion, and age from people in the family, or they formed gender-specific hobbies and aesthetics from people from their neighborhood or church. Yet the complexity and paradox of belonging of at-home-ness were rarely intellectually engaged or rightfully articulated until the rubric of “cultural space” and “dialectic approach” from a communication point of view. Sara started her presentation by introducing her grandmother’s house in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn as her first cultural space. She recollected that her fondest childhood memories were all associated with that house, where her extended “big Italian family” got together every Sunday. She was the only girl among the cousins and her grandmother’s favorite. She said she was “pampered as a princess” as a girl and always felt belonged and nurtured until recently, at age 17, she decided to get a tattoo on her arm. Her sense of home at her grandmother’s house was suddenly changed, for she no longer subscribed to the idea of girlhood that was expected of her in that space. With anxiety, she had to make sure her tattoo was hidden when visiting the house, and that to remain silent when her male cousins talk about tattoos. “The home is like a double-edged sword”, Sara said, “I am protected and controlled at the same time, especially when it come to my protection and self-expression as a woman. I belong and don’t belong. The dialectics readings made me feel normal to say that.” Sara’s story was greatly echoed by Nancy, a lesbian student whose sense of home “became complicated” since she identified her sexuality, as well as Nichole, an Orthodox Jewish student who was criticized by her aunt for not being “Jewish enough as a girl” due to the length of her

96

Chapter Seven

sleeves. Like Sara, both students acknowledged that their home space nurtured and grounded their strong sense of family and self, yet at the same time, brought forth restrictions and burdens. Nancy perceptively concluded that seeing gender and space from a communication point of view made her think that her parents’ home and attitudes “embodied a ‘normal’ institution of heterosexual family”. Nichole also pointed out that her family’s older generations’ rules of gender appearances in Judaism were “powerful and everywhere in the house”. When coming of age, both women developed more complex relationships with home space, encountering its engendering power, which isreflective of the gender politics in the larger society.

Loss of space “Loss of space” was another theme that emerged from students’ narratives on gender identity. A newly immigrated Pakistani male student, Hassan, presented a photo of a cricket field and shared that his masculine identity was constructed around watching and playing cricket games with other male family and peers growing up in Pakistan. He remembered that cricket was “the center of his world.” At his family gatherings, his school, as well as in his neighborhood, “all the men and boys shared the same enthusiasm for the sport.” When he came to New York during high school, the lack of space for cricket culture in the U.S. caused tremendous cultural shock. “It was not only loneliness that I felt having no one to talk to about cricket, but also a loss of place where I get to be a man. I’m still looking for something else to do here in order to make friends with other male students.” Hassan’s candid self-disclosure highlighted how his cultural uprootedness and disorientation were directly caused by his “loss of space” for gender expressions and relationships. Such a loss disrupted the normative gender spatialization in his home culture that had been internalized during his developmental years. He said he found the concept of “cultural space” especially useful in terms of the non-physical but communicative, emotional aspects of a space, and cricket culture in his personal memory has been abstracted into an important “symbolic space” that engendered him. Interesting enough, this theme of cultural and gender disorientation caused by loss of familiar engendering space was shared by many other immigrant students. A Saudi female student Aara, who immigrated to the U.S. four years ago, shared with the class a pair of contrasting photos of two shopping malls—one from her city Riyadh and the other of the mall in

Gender and Space

97

Kings Plaza Brooklyn. She explained to class that the outside of the Saudi mall looked “modern and nice just like an American mall,” yet inside there were cultural rules like designated all-girl days, when the mall was only open to women shoppers and their babies and women wouldn’t have to wear headscarves inside. She shared that her “best memories of all time” was being there with her two best girl friends growing up. She stated that the Brooklyn Kings Plaza Mall opened to her every day, yet she somehow “lost the privilege to thoroughly enjoy the mall as a girl.” When asked by surprised American-born students in class to further explain her meaning of “privilege”–as gender-specific shopping dates sounded oppressive rather than liberating to most American ears--she stated, “gender equality means something different for each culture. For me it’s deep and it’s not just about being at places with men.” She shared that the fun and bonding happened in that space was irreplaceable and she “felt free” and couldn’t possibly find a space like that in New York. In Aara’s story and her heartfelt response, gender identity is associated with an alternative gender spatiality and an alternative imagination of gender modernity. By telling her lived experiences of her engendering cultural space, she called into question the normative Western gender spatiality of “integration” and raised the important question of whether “integration equals liberation/ equality” was only a hegemonic Western idea. In addition, Aara’s presentation of her Muslim girl identity as autonomous, fun-loving, and social was a powerful denunciation of the popular social stereotype. Listening to her was a transformative experience for many students in the classroom.

New space “New space” was another theme that emerged as students aged into adulthood and found new engendering frontiers. Many students in the class started to take part-time jobs or internships during college. Rich narratives showed that such interactions with the professional world introduced new engendering spaces as they learned gender-specific professional codes of conduct including dress, speech, and behavior as well as workplace gender politics. Amanda was a freshman who had been working her first job at a Forever 21 store in New York City for six months. She shared with class humorously that the store become her “some-what cultural space” because she finally learned to “gossip” about workplace politics with others. She reflected that professionalism in her discovery has always been gendered and aged. She remembered that by learning ways to talk about her

98

Chapter Seven

customers, her boss, and other gay and straight men co-workers in a certain way, she earned acceptance at her workplace. She also shared that she encountered many stereotypes as a black, urban, working-class college girl. “Many of my co-workers assumed I would never graduate. And looked unbelieving when I told them I wanted to transfer to NYU and become a psychologist.” Besides employment, other life choices prompted by adulthood also expanded students gendering space. Roy, a student who decided to join the military before coming back for college, showed a photo of his gym at his army camp as his cultural space. He shared in class that he was introduced and trained into “military manhood” there. That space physically inhabited and symbolically represented the high standards of physical ability and everyday discipline of military manhood. Beyond those highly controlled physical activities happening at the gym, he also spoke about the entryways, corridors, and shower rooms in the space where he socialized leisurely and formed relationships with other army men, and most notably, learned the “military men’s ways of talking about girls.” Those ways of talking about women were unfamiliar to him growing up in a traditional Chinese-American household. Those talks and jokes were gender forming in his account in the way they influenced him “how to feel like a man and how to date like a man in the military.” That way of feeling and “getting girls” was a cultural shock to him and collided with his gender identity as a “Chinese nerd boy” growing up. He shared that was one of the reasons he couldn’t fit in and came back for college. The two students’ narratives illustrated the ever-expanding and evercomplicating nature of one’s engendering spaces. When examined from a communication point of view, the students managed to problematize the intra-gender and cross-gender communication dynamics at different life stages and contexts. They also became articulate about the geopolitics of gender at macro spaces (e.g. career and army) and its enactment at microspaces (e.g. store workspace and gym).

Changed space The theme of “changed space” was predominantly discussed through the city’s gentrification, or “white flight,” and how it impacted students’ home neighborhoods and social relationships. Gender in this theme significantly intertwined with race and socio-economic class identities. Tina was a biracial native Brooklynite with a European mother and black father. One of her cultural spaces was the Target store in her neighborhood in Flatbush, Brooklyn. Tina shared with the class that her

Gender and Space

99

neighborhood “witnessed white flight” and has become a changed engendering place. Growing up, Tina and many of her girl friends spent weekends at the store. “I used to feel not-white-enough walking in the store. But now it’s the opposite. I feel I’m not black enough.” Tina shared that the feeling was so strong that she became more mindful about her dress, speech, and music to listen to “incorporate more black aesthetics and identity.” Similarly, Matt was a Caucasian student who was born and raised in Park Slope Brooklyn. He remembered he had black and Hispanic neighbors on his block when he was little and now they have all moved out. “My whole street is now full of hipsters,” he said. “There are suddenly condos, yoga studios, and organic-whatevers everywhere. I may look white but I’m feeling less and less White. It’s like I’m not White enough for them, for Park Slope.” When asked to give specific examples, Matt said he didn’t eat, behave, or talk like the new neighbors, that they lived an “expensive and pretentious” lifestyle that would push his working-class family out eventually. Both Tina and Matt came of age with abrupt demographic and cultural changes in their home neighborhoods. Such changes in space significantly influenced the normative identifications of gender and race in the community which they sensitively observed and reacted. Tina’s negotiation with notions of beauty and femininity within her biracial-ness and Matt’s feelings of alienation as a White working-class man in Park Slope were both reflective articulations of looking at gender and race as ways of being and behaving contextualized in spatial geopolitics of dominant culture. Matt’s critique and resistance to gentrification was a particularly civically-engaged voice emerging from the class.

Fluid space “Fluid space” emerged when students debated with me whether psychological and emotional spaces should be included as “cultural space” to finish the assignment. After we agreed “yes,” as cultural spaces were not always physical but sometimes merely psychological and emotional (Martin and Nakayama 2014, 95), amazing stories were shared that constituted a theme of a fluid space of gender that is non-geographical. Ruby, who struggled with “coming-out” as queer for her parents, shared a screenshot of her Gmail inbox homepage and told the story that she suffered from depression for months. “There was no way I could my religious immigrant parents,” she said, until she started writing daily emails to a supportive older cousin who was “very educated and

100

Chapter Seven

supportive” about her thoughts and struggles. She reflected that she never felt “one hundred percent straight or lesbian,” and she was always “doubtful and confused.” It was only in her writing to the cousin that she could “just be herself.” “The act of writing”, sharing the everyday of her queer experience in a safe place, became her cultural space of queer identity. Another student, Aya, a recent immigrant from Egypt and a mother herself, shared the story of the fluid space carried by a praying mat that her grandma used that was given to her by her mother. “I feel all of the women in my family are with me when I use the mat, and that gives me a cultural space of memory and strength… It reminds me where I’m from and what kind of mother I want to become.” The praying mat, the family history and memory associated with it, and her daily praying activity, constituted an engendering space of motherhood that reinforces continuity, spirituality, and resilience. Many other examples of fluid engendering spaces emerged in class--for example, using native language/dialects, daily interaction with certain cyber space, train or buses that were part of one’s everyday commute where gendered emotional labor happened (e.g. brainstorming what to cook to dinner, etc.). The fluid spaces highlighted the affective spaces of gender – that beyond ways of thinking, speaking, and behaving, gender identities were also felt, and that feeling is contextualized by the temporalities of time and space.

The space of the body The space of the body were considered by many students as the most immediate and intimate cultural space that they had a dialectical relationship with. While the body hosts and expresses gender identities, it also confines and “traps” the expressions. Jenny was a first generation Guyanese immigrant student who was ethnically Chinese. She was proud that her body knew multiple “United Nations core languages” through which she carried her family’s long transcontinental trajectories. Yet in Brooklyn, she was often reminded that her body with “flying hands and big gestures” and her English with Spanish accent were a “rare match” with her Chinese look in the everyday narrative of New York Chinese living in Chinatowns. When she was told “you are so expressive,” “I never knew any Chinese girl who carries herself like you,” or “You are too spicy for a Chinese girl,” she felt frustrated and “deeply wronged.. Somehow her Hispanic femininity was viewed incompatible with her bodily space, that she felt she “almost didn’t own her own body” as if “others knew her body more than she did” due to

Gender and Space

101

the overpowering wrong notions of Chineseness that others imposed on her bodily space. Jenny’s presentation reminded the class how the body has been easily taken for granted culturally, that notions of heritage, ancestry, and blood were constructed with priority rather than notions of diaspora, migration, and hybridity. Another student, Kesha, an African-American and a native New Yorker, shared that her family moved around the boroughs of New York quite a lot when she was growing up. She shared that her current neighborhood in Brooklyn was “probably the nicest and most middle-class so far,” but her most engendering cultural space remained her hair salon in Harlem, which she would spend two hours on the subway to visit (and her sister over four hours from Philadelphia) and get her hair done periodically. “It’s not like they can make me look like Beyoncé,” she joked, “but everyone is so into black hair culture there on the street. And the experience that you are treated by the hands of those who really know black hair and celebrate black beauty is like coming home.” In Kesha’s story, it was literally the bodily experience being immersed and cared with cultural-historical consciousness of black beauty and pride that reinforced her black femininity’s home-coming. In the two stories, viewing body as a communicative cultural space not only spotlighted the complex cultural constructs of race and gender of the body, but also articulated the journeys and juxtapositions of those constructs colliding with the localized geopolitics of gender and race. In other words, students became more aware that we are not just who-we-are, but we are always who-we-are-somewhere-struggling-to-tell-where-wehave-been-and-where-we-are-going. Our feelings and autonomy are always expressed through the body’s cultural in-between-ness with the self and the world.

The space of others Finally, the space of others was an interesting theme that emerged from students’ presentations about places of a “love-hate relationship,” where their membership was rejected and yet they enjoyed “looking from outside” as spectators. Contradictions of belonging and dis-belonging were experienced simultaneously through this repeated act. Brittany, a native Brooklynite, spoke of one of her engendering spaces, one block on Fifth Avenue in Manhattan of her favorite luxury fashion stores. She candidly shared that she “couldn’t afford a zipper” there, yet the space was the most powerful signifier of affluent, sophisticated, and upper-class femininity that she always desired but could not acquire. She

102

Chapter Seven

visited the space regularly and found the “beauty, confidence, power, and fierceness” of femininity represented by the space “inspiring and motivational.” This narrative opened up class discussion regarding whether those “alienating” stores were her cultural space or not. The class came to a conclusion that her membership as a spectator, her belonging as being “irrelevant,” were actually desired by those spaces and the capitalist culture that created them. “She’s not buying the product but she’s buying the idea,” one student claimed. We discussed how her peripheral membership is rooted in a social envy or desire that was constructed and insidiously perpetuated by neoliberalism consumerism. The class then agreed, Brittany included, that her seemingly peripheral membership is in the end a central one for the populist culture of capitalism. In another example, Veronica is a reflective professional student newly immigrated from Jamaica, a national culture that she described as “very conservative when it comes to homosexuality.” After arriving in New York, she encountered the space of East Village in Manhattan that celebrated LGBTQ culture in a way she had never known. She described the sights of sex shops, bars, and alternative movie theaters as “exotic and eye-opening” for her, but also said they brought her feelings of “anxiety and discomfort along with an excitement that made her want to see and learn more.” Veronica's candidness again started a robust class discussion. When questioned of her motivation to visit the space, she confessed that her education in an U.S. college liberal classroom made her aware that “it’s wrong to feel the space is exotic.” “But I need my entry way to learn. And that was it,” she said. She continued to explain that her conservative hometown culture didn’t represent LGBTQ identities with any humanness. When looking at some independent film posters and reading about true stories behind the making of the film, she realized that “their world of struggles shared a lot with my (her) world as an immigrant single working mother of color.” Brittany and Veronica’s in-class confession of transgressing spaces of others were sincere and candid. In retrospect, they only happened due to the safe speaking and listening space that students created for each other in the classroom. As Édouard Glissant powerfully noted in his Poetics of Relation (Glissant 1997, 11): “Each and every identity is extended through a relationship with the Other.” Such seemingly risky self-disclosure, when facilitated in a safe space of learning, was in the end most illuminating in exploring the problematic oppositions between self and other, and in promoting gender diversity and visibility. Veronica’s transgressing account on bridging social positions and building solidarity was a productive learning moment for the class.

Gender and Space

103

Conclusion: the philosophical undertaking Identifications of gender are always already contextualized by geocultural politics of space. This essay showcases a classroom assignment that invited rich students’ narratives on lived gender experiences through space. The study of gender has developed into such a complex body of competing concepts and theories in Western world that I often find myself frustrated making theories accessible to my students, especially students of color and new immigrants. Asking students to speak from their own time and space, to examine their own lived histories of gender spatiality, has proven to be a successful entryway to unpack theory. Students learned that as communicative beings we were always caught up in the spatiality of gender, that the personal was always already cultural, spatial, and political, that each individual faced unique gender troubles in the changing urbanity of New York, and that when providing a safe space for others to share, a transgressing space of empathy and listening was created. In light of the recent national “bathroom” debate for LGBTQ groups, the horrendous Orlando massacre at Pulse Nightclub, and the French Burkini ban, more productive conversations are needed to engage young adults wanting to think and speak on gender and space critically. As eloquently put by one of my students: “We don’t share identities but we have to manage to share space.” I hope this chapter will engage a spaceconscious dialogue on building gender diversity.

References Glissant, Edouard. Poetics of Relation. Translated by Betsy Wing. Ann Arbor: Michigan UP, 1997. Halberstam, Judith. In a Queer Time and Place: Transgender Bodies, Subcultural Lives. New York: New York University Press, 2005. Martin, Judith N., Thomas K. Nakayama, and Lisa A. Flores. “A Dialectical Approach to Intercultural Communication.” In Readings in Cultural Context, edited by Judith Martin, Thomas k. Nakayama, and Lisa Flores, 5-15. Mountain View, CA: Mayfield, 1998. Martin, Judith, and Tom Nakayama. Experiencing Intercultural Communication: An Introduction.New York: The McGraw Hill Company, 2014.

SECTION TWO: GENDER AND LANGUAGE

CHAPTER EIGHT THE LANGUAGE OF GENDER SARAH KORNFIELD AND NICOLETTE DESANTIS

This work was supported by Hope College’s Department of Communication Undergraduate Research Grant. After sweeping five primaries on April 26, 2016, GOP frontrunner Donald Trump criticized Hillary Clinton, stating, “The only thing she’s got going for her is the woman’s card” (Nelson 2016). Hillary Clinton countered by saying, “if fighting for women’s health care and paid family leave and equal pay is playing the woman card, then deal me in” (Collinson and Luhby 2016). Capitalizing on this sound bite, the campaign organization Hillary for America began issuing official “Woman Cards” (HillaryClinton.com 2016). Yet only a month later, Emily’s List—a political organization designed to get more women elected to office— began advising Clinton to “stop making even passing reference to her gender” (Ross 2016). Emily’s List made this recommendation because large swaths of Americans believe that being a woman already gives Clinton an advantage on the campaign trail, making her gender references unpersuasive at best and galling at worst. For example, a Washington Post-ABC News poll found one third of Americans “believe that gender provides no advantage to either candidate,” and another third believe “Clinton gets more of an advantage over Trump because she is a woman” (Ross 2016)However, the demographic evidence suggests the opposite: being male makes you more electable. White men make up only thirty-one percent of the U.S. population, but hold sixty-five percent of elected offices (WhoLeadsUs.com 2016). As such, femaleness is a clear campaign disadvantage. Yet when Clinton “plays the gender card” by pointing out sexism, it only further disadvantages her (Falk 2013). This brief example begins to demonstrate the degree to which gender and language are integrated. Clinton broke glass ceilings through her

The Language of Gender

107

political leadership but cannot mention her gender without losing votes. In contrast, Trump explains his “qualifications for the highest office” by openly touting the size of his penis (Steiger 2016). In the Spring of 2016, Nicolette didn’t quite know what to expect when she enrolled in Hope College’s communication course, Gender Communication, taught by Sarah Kornfield. During this upper-level course, Nicolette began to notice countless gender issues and theories being put to work right in front of her. The ideas from this course weren’t mindless, pointless concepts that only exist in textbooks; these issues were real and were happening all around her. Take the “gender binary” as an example. The gender binary is the idea of imagining gender in two contrasting categories: masculine/feminine; man/woman; guys/girls; manly/girly. The gender binary is everywhere; it shapes the way we think, causing us to assume that the things we associate with masculinity (like football, leadership, and weight lifting) should primarily be done by men and the things we associate with femininity (like baking, nursing, and yoga) should primarily be done by women. Of course, many people—such as metrosexual men and tomboys—behave in ways that cut across the binary. Yet we use the binary (the categories of masculine and feminine) to judge these people, thinking metrosexuals are too effeminate and girls who don’t grow out of their “tomboy stage” are too rough and not feminine enough. Creating categories for gender isn’t necessarily a problem, but our culture has taken it a step further and ranked the categories. Somewhere along the line, we decided that men were more important than women, and our society has reinforced this ranking ever since. As Nicolette studied gender communication, she noticed that this hierarchical binary is everywhere because it exists in language itself. This is clear in the political communication surrounding Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, but it is also clear in our basic pronouns and word choices. For example, “mankind” refers to all of humanity—as if men were the norm for humanity—while words like “womankind” simply don’t exist. Over the course of the semester, Nicolette became passionate about questioning the way our society functions. Specifically, Nicolette developed the following three questions to focus her understanding of the language of gender. By writing and thinking together in this chapter, Nicolette and Sarah tackle these challenging questions, trying to better understand how language and gender intersect in society. .

1. How does language reinforce the gender binary?

108

Chapter Eight

2. How does language give power and preference to one gender over another? 3. What are the long-term effects of reinforcing the binary and/or favoring one gender’s voice over another’s? These questions guide our chapter. We start by exploring theories that help us understand gender and language. Then we turn to three real-world case studies; throughout these case studies, we present discussion questions that will help readers apply the theories to real-life situations and ultimately help tackle the three guiding questions for this chapter. Finally, we conclude by discussing some of the key implications from this chapter and providing readers with tools for how to use language to overcome binaries and contribute to social change.

Theories of gendered language In 1990, Judith Butler published what soon became a landmark book for feminist theory. If you read any portion of Gender Trouble, you’ll realize that it is challenging. Indeed, since its publication, critics have often decried the “difficulty” of its grammatical “style” (Butler 2004, 97). Yet for Butler, this grammatical “difficulty” was utterly necessary since normal grammar naturalizes gender. Indeed, Butler claims that “it would be a mistake to think that received grammar is the best vehicle for expressing radical views, given the constraints that grammar imposes upon thought, indeed, upon the thinkable itself” (Butler 2004, 97). Ultimately, Butler suggests that grammar itself is biased: within grammatically normal sentences, gender appears as an adjective or a noun. For example, in the sentence “Sarah is a girly girl,” gender appears as both an adjective (girly) and a noun (girl). This sentence makes sense grammatically—and, therefore, logically. However, Butler points out that our grammar makes us think gender is a static, natural, and naturally occurring thing because the only words we have for gender are adjectives (states of being) or nouns (things). This naturalizes the gender binary by making it seem as if gender is an actual thing (like a tree or computer) and since our gendered nouns and adjectives come in pairs (e.g. girly/manly) our language primes us to think that there are only two genders that perpetually exist in opposition and contrast to each other. Rather than using normal grammar, which reinforces the binary, Butler’s writing in Gender Trouble twists grammar to reveal that gender is a verb, an ongoing activity: we do our genders. Rather than saying, “Sarah is a girly girl,” which implies that Sarah is completely, naturally, and

The Language of Gender

109

perpetually feminine, we might imagine that Butler would say, “Sarah usually girls.” Here, “girls” is a verb. If you swap “girls” out with “runs,” “jumps,” “cooks,” or any other verb, the above sentence would make sense. By using “girls” as a verb, Butler draws our attention to the actions Sarah performs (such as crossing her legs while seated and curling her hair) and how society interprets those actions. Ultimately, Butler demonstrates that gender is not a noun or adjective—gender is not like a tree or computer. Instead, our genders are created by our actions, by the things we do, and thus, gendered words ought to be verbs. But language—at its most basic—is more than grammar; it is also a lexicon. A lexicon is the complete vocabulary of any given language. A lexicon is never set: new words are always being added (through neologisms, slang, and loan words), and old words are forgotten and disappear from the lexicon.1 Although lexicons evolve, they are not natural or neutral; rather, they serve the dominant social groups, institutions, and cultural relationships. To demonstrate this point, Adrienne Davis explains how there are no words that can accurately describe slavery and black women’s sexuality. Words like “horror,” “hopelessness,” and “exploitation” do not get anywhere near the concept of endless physical, mental, emotional, and social bondage enacted upon not just an entire race but also their offspring in perpetuity. Indeed, because American slavery laws regarded any child born to a black slave woman both black (regardless of the child’s physique) and a slave, American slavery folded black women’s sexuality into the very essence of slavery. Essentially, white men could legally rape black women and then financially profit from rape by owning the offspring. Davis notes that this system linked “slavery” and “black women’s sexuality” together and that these intertwined concepts remain “unspeakable” in modern day America, as if they were surrounded by “linguistic vacuums” (Davis 2002, 105). Davis argues that it is no accident that the American English lexicon has no words for the intertwining concepts of “slavery” and “black women’s sexuality.” Since lexicons serve the dominant social groups, our 1

A neologism is a new word. For example, “gif,” is a neologism that originated in 1987 as an acronym (GIF stands for Graphics Interchange Format) and generally means a short, animated, digital image. Slang also adds new words into a language’s lexicon. For example, Oprah Winfrey is credited with creating and popularizing the word “vagjayjay” as a slang term for “vagina.” Loan words are typically introduced into a lexicon by bilingual speakers as two languages come into direct contact with each other. For example, English borrowed the word “aficionado,” which means an expert in or ardent admirer of something, from Spanish.

110

Chapter Eight

American English vocabulary gives power and privilege to white/male perspectives. Thus, there are no words to express the reality of black women’s histories and identities (Davis 2002, 105). And this silence produces suffering because “speech is the central way we come to know ourselves, reveal ourselves to others, and express our own identities” (Elshtain 1982, 608). If we cannot think or say something about ourselves, we become closed off from our own realities. Inspired by the work of black feminist writers, bell hooks and Toni Morrison, Davis began to develop a vocabulary, in the hopes that such language might “give us the tools we need to excavate black women’s history, document our exploitation, and archive our resistance” (Davis 2002, 105). By labeling slavery as a “sexual economy,” Davis creates the terminology that voices not only the reality of black women’s sexual exploitation during slavery, but the continued effects of that reality on present-day race and gender identities, policies, violence, and activism. Davis shows us how our language—the vocabulary available to us— affects us, limiting what we can and cannot say, think, and ultimately be. Language is simultaneously a system of grammar and a lexicon. But language extends beyond these two essential elements to encompass “body language” and “paralinguistics.” We use our bodies in systematized ways in order to communicate a variety of words, emotions, and attitudes. Likewise, we use paralinguistics (such as the tones, pitches, volumes, and pauses that accompany words) in systematized ways. For example, a sarcastic tone when someone says “yeah right” indicates that their words should be interpreted to mean the exact opposite of their lexicon definitions. Similarly, pauses and vocal fillers (such as “um,” and “well,”) often indicate a person’s hesitance or reluctance. These sounds and body movements are systematized into language itself. They communicate meaning as clearly as words do—and sometimes much more clearly. Ultimately, language and gender co-construct. This means that language shapes gender and gender shapes language. For example, consider how our society values silence and speech. When a woman is silent, it is often taken as a sign of her inferiority (she didn’t have anything worth saying) or her lack of self-esteem (she doesn’t have the confidence to speak). However, men’s silence is often praised as a sign of wisdom, equanimity, and self-control. Indeed, the phrase “man of few words” is a commendation. Our society disparages women’s silence, but praises men’s. Paradoxically, when women have a lot to say, they are often belittled as chatterboxes. In contrast, when men have a lot to say, they are often praised for being gregarious, outgoing, and/or funny, and people often give talkative men their full attention when they speak up in

The Language of Gender

111

conference rooms and classrooms. This example demonstrates how language and gender co-construct: the same type of language use is valued differently when a man or woman uses it, and men and women are valued differently when they use language similarly. That is, our understanding of what “silence” or “talkativeness” is (whether silence/talkativeness is good or bad) depends on the gender of the person being silent or talkative. Likewise, our understanding of what gender is (consider the stereotype of women as chatterboxes) depends on language use. These theories can help us consider the questions posed at the beginning of the chapter. Gender is not who we are, but what we do—and we do so much through language. Our language creates expectations for what men and women can achieve, and this often limits women. For example, a study focusing on psychology textbooks found that hypothetical doctors, lawyers, and professors were predominantly referred to by the pronoun “he,” while hypothetical nurses, teachers, and librarians were “she” (Martyna 1980). Consider the power difference between a nurse and a doctor or a teacher and a professor. Think about whose voice is louder in these situations and which gender society has chosen as more fitting for each role. Ultimately, language and gender are intimately, intricately, and constantly interacting. As gender and language coconstruct, they generate and maintain the gender binary in a variety of ways. As such, language—communication’s core medium—ultimately rigs the game by dealing sexism a handful of aces.

Case Study Applications Talking about Hillary Throughout her presidential campaigns, news media and public discourse routinely describe Hillary Clinton as inauthentic, a bitch, a cunt, and a cyborg. For example, despite the fact that Clinton has the “best truth-telling record of any of the 2016 presidential candidates” according to Politifact, a Pulitzer prize-winning fact-checking organization, she is routinely described as inauthentic and Trump’s campaign dubbed her “crooked Hillary” (Abramson 2016; Parry-Giles 2014). Even stalwart democrat Jon Stewart (of The Daily Show) criticized Hillary Clinton during the 2016 presidential primaries, saying that she “seemed inauthentic” as if she were “wearing an outfit designed by someone else for someone else to be someone else” (Cillizza 2016). In 1995, Newt Gingrich’s mother, Kathleen Gingrich, called Clinton— then First Lady—a “bitch” in a televised, national CBS interview because

112

Chapter Eight

Clinton “takes over” during meetings (Anderson 1999; Harris 1995). Since then, “bitch” has been a popular way to dismiss Clinton without engaging in a substantive discussion of her politics or policies, as demonstrated by the Trump campaign buttons that read “Life’s a Bitch—don’t vote for one” and the viral video of a boy yelling “take the bitch down!” at a Trump event in Virginia (Cottle 2016; Philbrick 2016). When Clinton became the frontrunner during the 2008 presidential primaries, she was explicitly and publicly described as a “cunt” in a variety of public forums. For example, a group of citizens created a 527 organization (a tax-exempt political action group, much like a Super PAC) named “Citizens United Not Timid,” which went by the acronym CUNT. This organization’s purpose was to oppose Clinton’s candidacy and it sold T-shirts emblazoned with a red, white, and blue drawing that resembled a woman’s crotch and bore the tagline, “Citizens United Not Timid to educate the public about ‘what Hillary Clinton really is’” (Anderson 2011, 341). “Cunt” resurfaced in the 2016 presidential campaign: for example, actor Scott Baio—an invited speaker at the 2016 Republican National Convention—tweeted a picture of Clinton standing in front of a banner that appears to read “Cunt”; Baio captioned the photo with the comment “This may be the best meme out there” (Wilstein 2016). During her 2008 presidential campaign, media routinely depicted Clinton as a cyborg or monster, collapsing the boundaries “between male and female, human and animal, and organism and machine” (Ritchie 2013, 102). For example, the Washington Post described her as a “homicidal cyborg from the future” with “manic facial expressions, [a] bulldog front, pitiless emotions and a lust to kill,” while the New York Times dubbed her “The Terminator” (Dowd 2008; Ritchie 2013, 103; Robinson 2008). In 2016, this mixed metaphor of monstrousness continued to frame Clinton; for example, at a Green Bay rally, Trump described Clinton as being simultaneously a “monster” and a “weak person” who was not “strong enough to be president” (Lima 2016). Thinking about this case study, we invite readers to discuss the following questions: x Consider the role that “bitch” and “cunt” have in the American English lexicon; are there equivalent words that principally apply to men? x What social groups, institutions, or cultural relationships benefit from having “bitch” and “cunt” within the American English lexicon and who suffers because of these words?

The Language of Gender

113

x What are the ethics involved in using clearly gendered insults such as “bitch” and “cunt?” x How do the labels “inauthentic” and “cyborg” operate within a gendered context? x Are there positive feminine words for a presidential candidate? What is their typical definition and how do they function grammatically? x Are there words that typically apply only to men that are used to praise female leaders? Why are the words used in this way and what implications does this have for how we understand gender? x If you could create a positive word for a female political leader, what would it be and how would it grammatically function? x Do we need separate words for male and female leaders? Why? Why not?

Wall Street bro talk In the U.S., it’s normal to occasionally participate in a “girl’s night” or “guy’s night.” We often feel freer to talk about certain topics and in certain ways when we’re not in mixed company. This freer talk can help us bond with members of our own sex as we connect over similar experiences, attitudes, and perspectives. However, just as gossip (close friends talking about outsiders) can be innocently newsy or mean-spirited and toxic, some “bonding talk” can poison our society. Writing for the New York Times, Sam Polk dubs this noxious bonding discourse as “bro talk.” But what does “bro talk” really sound like and what long-term implications does it have for women in the work world? Polk explains that men (teammates, coaches, and even fathers and sons) often bond by objectifying women and women’s bodies (Polk 2016). There is camaraderie in talking together about others—especially when that talk makes your group feel superior to the others you’re discussing. This kind of talk may at first seem like child’s play—not the sort of thing people should worry about, especially in the face of domestic violence and sexual slavery. However, Polk argues that “bro talk” actually lays the groundwork for these acts of violence. He explains that the bonding behind “bro talk” largely has to do with creating a power dynamic. Polk uses the example of a fraternity at Yale University in 2010, where the brothers chanted and marched around campus with signs that read “No mean yes and yes means anal” (Greenberg 2010). Of course, there was some backlash surrounding the march, but in the moment those boys felt powerful, untouchable, and ultimately, bonded together through the

114

Chapter Eight

experience. It’s these power dynamics that work to further oppress and label women as second-class citizens. When Polk began his eight year career on Wall Street, he saw a difference between the “every day sexism” of high school locker rooms and the oppressive “bro talk” of grown men. He recounts one instance where he was walking down the street with a boss, who suddenly sped ahead of him to look at a woman and then explained, “I had to get a look at those tits.” Polk notes how male colleagues and bosses alike repeatedly made explicit comments, such as “I’d like to get behind that” about their female Wall Street colleagues and servers at restaurants. Surrounded by this “bro talk,” Polk was uncomfortable but he remained silent, fearing that if he objected to this “bro talk” he’d be cut out of the male bonding and therefore lose his social status in the office. He worried that his career would stagnate and that he could even lose his job if his bosses and the other men didn’t like hanging out with him. Polk isn’t the only person to notice how this “bro talk” objectifies women. In 2010, Cristina Chen-Oster, former Goldman Sachs vice president, and Shanna Olrich, a former associate, filed a lawsuit against Goldman Sachs for its unfair treatment of women employees. These women recount the many “male bonding” trips to strip clubs and other hostile environments for women in their over one hundred page long declaration. Similarly, Goldman Sachs’ former vice president of equities, Lisa Albanese, explains, “In order to be successful at Goldman Sachs, I had to tolerate offensive language from male co-workers and a boys’ club atmosphere” (Kolhatkar 2014). “Bro talk” does more than just hurt women’s feelings, it affects careers. Polk implicitly understood that to get ahead in his career, he needed to be “one of the guys” and that meant tolerating “bro talk” and maybe even engaging in it (Polk 2016). Women—by definition—have almost no chance of becoming “one of the guys,” which puts women at a career disadvantage from the very start. Then, this “bro talk” trains male bosses to overlook women for promotions. After all, if you primarily think of your female employees in the same way you think of waitresses—as sexually attractive bodies—you’re unlikely to think a female employee deserves a promotion for her intelligence, hard work, or leadership skills. This isn’t a hypothetical situation: Chen-Oster and Orlich claim that Goldman Sachs paid female employees 21 percent less than male employees, that women had slower and more reluctant promotions while men experienced mysterious bonuses for what appeared to be no reason at all, and that maternity leave was used to stunt women’s growth within the company (Kolhatkar 2014). In 2013, women comprised 54 percent of the

The Language of Gender

115

workforce in financial services, but only 16 percent of the financial senior executives were women and none of the CEOs were women (Epprecht 2013). This trend continues: for example, currently only about 2 percent of the hedgefund managers (a plum job) are women (Polk 2016). Beyond Wall Street, full-time female workers make “only 79 cents for every dollar earned by men” and women earn less than men in nearly every job field (Institute for Women’s Policy Research 2016). “Bro talk” affects women’s earnings, careers, and sense of selfworth—after all, it’s hard to overhear colleagues speak about you and other women in such sexually explicit and demeaning ways without it decreasing your sense of worth. Worse, “bro talk” creates a culture that normalizes sexual and physical violence against women. As Polk put it, “when we dehumanize people in conversation, we give permission for them to be degraded in other ways as well” (Polk 2016). Thinking about this case study we invite readers to discuss the following questions: x When you are having your own “girl’s/guy’s night,” what kinds of topics come up? What are some differences in the way we speak in same-sex gatherings versus mixed company? How do these topics and unique ways of speaking bond us? x What are some examples of “bro talk” that you have heard? x What are some examples of “guy talk” and “girl talk” that do not work to objectify others? How can we work to further encourage this kind of talk in contrast to the toxic “bro talk?” x Why do you think this explicit “bro talk” is happening in mixed company workplaces rather than typical same-sex spaces like locker rooms and guy’s nights? How does this link to the power dynamic between the sexes? x Are men similarly disadvantaged by a particular type of “girl talk” in female dominated career environments—such as elementary schools or hair salons? How does the pay disparity between teaching or hairstyling and Wall Street factor into this type of situation? x What dynamics come into play when women try to function as “one of the guys?” How does this affect what they talk about and how they talk? What are some of the outcomes (for her, for other women, and for men) when a woman engages in “bro talk?”

116

Chapter Eight

The language of rape culture After reading the “bro talk” case study, it should come as no surprise that violence against women is extremely common. Within the United States, the U.S. Department of Justice (2007) reports that one in four women (25%) are regularly beaten by their romantic partners.The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2014) report that one in five women (20%) are raped.These are staggering numbers. They mean that the women you meet every day, the women you’re sitting with in class, the professors you’re surrounded by, your work colleagues, your family members, and your friends are covered in visible and invisible bruises. The term “rape culture” refers to the idea that violence—especially sexual violence—against women is considered normal and sometimes even glamorous. For example, throughout the 2013 hit song, “Blurred Lines,” Robin Thicke repeatedly states “I know you want it” (which negates the need for consent) and the song is seemingly about “how a girl really wants crazy wild sex but doesn’t say it,” which transforms the supposedly “age-old problem where men think no means yes into a catchy, hummable song” (Mosbergen 2013). Attempting to prevent the supposed problem of men hearing a “yes” when women think they are saying “no,” well-meaning activists and organizations have spent decades training women to say “no” in an assertive and unambiguous manner. This type of “assertiveness training” is standard fair in self-defense courses and date rape prevention seminars (Kitzinger and Frith 1999, 293-294). The logic here seems to go something like this, “if only women would be clear, then they wouldn’t get accidentally raped by innocent men.” However, in Western, English speaking cultures, neither men nor women typically say “no” directly or assertively. Yet we all regularly say “no” and our “no’s” are absolutely understood. Studying how people say “yes” and “no” in daily conversations, Celia Kitzinger and Hannah Frith discovered that when people say “yes” the answers are direct and immediate. For instance, if someone asks you, “do you want to order pizza for dinner?” and you agree, your answer would be direct, something like “Yes. I love that idea!” And your answer would be immediate, without hesitation. In fact, you’d likely start saying “yes” before the question had even been fully asked. That is, you’d start agreeing when the person said “pizza” and your answer would overlap with the end of their question “… for dinner?” HWhen people say “no,” however, they do so by 1) delaying the answer with a brief pause after the question is asked, 2) hedging their answer with words and fillers like “well” or “um,” 3) offering a palliative

The Language of Gender

117

to smooth things over—such as slowly saying “that sounds great,” and 4) offering some type of explanation or account for why one is saying no (Kitzinger and Frith 1999, 301). For example, if someone asks you, “Do you want to order pizza for dinner?” and you don’t want to, you’re likely to say something like, “[pause] Well [pause], that sounds like a great idea, [pause] but I’m not really sure if I’m hungry right now.” This means that assertiveness training and “say no” slogans are asking women to do something that is entirely unnecessary. When women reject sexual advances by saying something like, “[pause] Ummmm, I wish I could [pause] but it’s getting pretty late,” they are following the Western English linguistic system for saying “no.” Essentially, they are using language—and paralinguistics—exactly as they ought to in order to clearly and unambiguously say “no.” Moreover, the person who made the sexual advance absolutely understands this statement as a rejection: he or she would have no problem realizing that this statement was a rejection if the conversation was about whether or not to order a pizza and he/she regularly uses exactly this type of statement when he/she wants to say “no” in various situations. Ultimately, this means that the problem of “date rape” does not rest on women’s inability to communicate and will not be solved by women learning to “say no” more clearly. Instead, the problem is that perpetrators feign ignorance (“I thought she meant yes!”), pretending not to understand a “perfectly normal conversational interaction” in order to retroactively justify raping someone (Kitzinger and Frith 1999, 310). Thinking about this case study, we invite readers to discuss the following questions: x Think about a recent conversation in which you declined an invitation. What did you say and how did you say it? x If you’re involved in a sexual relationship, how do you decline a sexual advance from your partner and/or how does your partner decline your sexual advances? x What role do gender stereotypes play in thinking that the problem of “date rape” is caused by how women use language? x We mentioned “Blurred Lines,” what other popular examples (songs, movies, etc) can you think of that reinforce the idea that women are saying “yes” while saying “no,” thereby making perpetrators’ arguments (“I thought she meant yes!”) seem reasonable even though it counters every norm for “saying no” in our language system?

118

Chapter Eight

x What role do public institutions (like the judicial system or your campus’ Title XI Consent Policy) play in refusing to hear women’s “no’s” as “no’s?” How does this affect victims and perpetrators? How does this affect how our culture thinks about rape? x What is the result of this type of linguistic “assertiveness training?” What happens to individuals and our culture when we believe that women need to be trained to use language more clearly when declining sexual advances?

Conclusion When it comes to the language of gender, change is feasible, practical, and within our power. Yet changing the way language works seems like a tall order. Often, when asked to make changes like using “humanity” instead of “mankind,” people resist, arguing that this is just how language is and how it has always been. But is this true? Let’s reflect on the ways our lexicon has evolved. Have you ever tried to read a Shakespeare play? The Bible? A novel by Charles Dickens? Oftentimes these pieces of writing are difficult to read because our vocabulary and grammar has evolved since the time of the writer’s life. Or, to provide a more modern example, consider all the new words added to the dictionary every year. Five years ago if you were to say something like “bae” or “on fleek,” no one would understand you, but today these are meaningful words. This demonstrates how rapidly our language changes. Indeed, language is always changing in ways that largely benefit those with social power. But the fact that language is always changing means that you can change it for the better, to be more equitable, by the way you use language. We hope that this chapter has given readers new ways to think about language and gender and that discussing the case studies helped to apply thinking about language in some practical ways. As we conclude, we’d like to recommend some practical steps to begin using language beyond the gender binary. 1. Consider your own language use and commit to using language to support human equity. This might mean committing to saying “he or she” in your writing and when speaking. This might also mean eliminating phrases such as “she’s got balls!” since these types of phrases praise women by likening them to men (in this case, attributing male genitalia to women), as if maleness is an inherent good and femaleness is not.

The Language of Gender

119

2. Commit to using gender-neutral words that have been traditionally associated with masculinity to describe and praise female leaders. For example, you might describe a female boss or politician as having a particular “gravitas” if she is serious or solemn in nature. You might also use words such as “courageous,” “bold,” “just,” “wise,” “self-controlled,” “magnanimous,” and “trustworthy” to describe excellent female leaders (Dozier 2016). Additionally, consider using gender-neutral words traditionally associated with femininity (such as “sweet,” “sensitive,” “intuitive,” and “giving”) to describe excellent male leaders. 3. Commit to speaking up against “bro talk” that denigrates women. This may involve some personal risks—you might get excluded from the boy’s clubhouse—but not speaking up creates even greater risks for women, since “bro-talk” creates a culture that promotes violence against women. 4. Regardless of your gender, commit to hearing women when they say “no” in every context and further commit to supporting their “no’s” when you hear others pressuring them after they’ve said “no.” Society often thinks of language as a neutral tool, refusing to “acknowledge the power of language in our lives” (Martyna 1980, 492). We hope that thinking about and discussing these communication theories and real-world case studies has helped promote deeper understanding of how language and gender interact, and that this knowledge is used to change the way we communicate—to use language beyond the gender binary.

References Abramson, Jill. “This May Shock You: Hillary Clinton is Fundamentally Honest.” The Guardian, March 28, 2016. Accessed August 18, 2016. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/28/hillaryclinton-honest-transparency-jill-abramson. Anderson, Karrin Vasby. “‘Rhymes with ‘Rich’: ‘Bitch’ as a Tool of Containment in Contemporary American Politics.” Rhetoric & Public Affairs 2(1999): 599-623. Anderson, Karrin Vasby. “‘Rhymes with Blunt’: Pornification and U.S. Political Culture.” Rhetoric & Public Affairs 14(2011): 327-368. Butler, Judith. “Preface.” In The Judith Butler Reader, edited by Sara Salih and Judith Butler. Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing, 2004.

120

Chapter Eight

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Prevalence and Characteristics of Sexual Violence, Stalking, and Intimate Partner Victimization—National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, United States,” 2014. Accessed August 18, 2016. http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/ss6308a1.htm?s_cid=s s6308a1_e. Cillizza, Chris. “Jon Stewart Perfectly Diagnosed the Problem with Hillary Clinton’s Candidacy.” Washington Post, May 12, 2016. Accessed August 18, 2016. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/ 2016/05/12/jon-stewart-perfectly-diagnosed-the-problem-with-hillaryclintons-candidacy/. Collinson, Stephen and Tami Luhby. “The New War over the ‘Woman Card.” CNN.com, April 27, 2016. Accessed May 25, 2016. http://www.cnn.com/2016/04/26/politics/election-2016-clinton-trumpwomen/. Cottle, Michelle. “The Era of ‘The Bitch’ is Coming.” The Atlantic, `August 17, 2016. Accessed August 19, 2016. http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/08/the-era-of-thebitch-is-coming/496154/. Davis, Adrienne. “Don’t Let Nobody Bother Yo’ Principle.” In Sister Circle: Black Women and Work, edited by Sharon Harley and the Black Women and Work Collective, 103-127. New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers University Press, 2002. Dowd, Maureen. “Haunting Obama’s Dreams.” New York Times, March 23, 2008. Accessed August 18, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/23/opinion/23dowd.html?_r%C2%B C1&hp&_r=0. Dozier, Curtis. “Hillary Clinton and the Rhetoric of Trust.” Eidolon, August 22, 2016. Accessed August 25, 2016. https://eidolon.pub/hillary-clinton-and-the-rhetoric-of-trust2429797e7b#.d2nnye9vd. Elshtain, Jean Bethke. “Feminist Discourse and its Discontents: Language, Power, and Meaning.” Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society 7(1982): 603-621. Epprecht, Margo. “The Real Reason Why Women are Leaving Wall Street.” The Atlantic, September 5, 2013. Accessed September 5, 2016. http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2013/09/the-real-reasonwhy-women-are-leaving-wall-street/279379/. Falk, Erica. “Clinton and the Playing-the-Gender-Card Metaphor in Campaign News.” Feminist Media Studies 13(2013): 192-127.

The Language of Gender

121

Greenberg, Sam. “DKE Chants on Old Campus Spark Controversy.” Yale News, October 14, 2010. Accessed September 6, 2016. http://yaledailynews.com/blog/2010/10/14/dke-chants-on-old-campusspark-controversy/. Harris, Scott. “Shh, Just Between You and Me, Connie: It has Little to do with Hillary-bashing, Newt-bashing or Liberal-media-bashing. It has Everything to do with Ethics. Connie Chung … Just Doesn’t Get It.” Los Angeles Times, January 10, 1995. Accessed August 18, 2016. http://articles.latimes.com/1995-01-10/local/me-18301_1_conniechung. HillaryClinton.com. “The Official Woman Card, ” 2016. Accessed May 25, 2016. https://shop.hillaryclinton.com/products/the-woman-card. Institute for Women’s Policy Research. “Pay Equity & Discrimination.” 2016. Accessed August 23, 2016. http://www.iwpr.org/initiatives/pay-equity-and-discrimination. Kitzinger, Celia and Hannah Frith. “Just Say No? The Use of Conversation Analysis in Developing a Feminist Perspective on Sexual Refusal.” Discourse & Society 10(1999): 293-316. Kolhatkar, Sheelah. "A Lawsuit Peeks Inside the Goldman Sachs 'Boys' Club." Bloomberg.com, July 2, 2014. Accessed August 23, 2016. http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2014-07-02/a-lawsuit-peeksinside-the-goldman-sachs-boys-club. Lima, Cristiano. “Trump on Clinton: ‘She’s a Monster.’” Politico, August 5, 2016. Accessed August 19, 2016. http://www.politico.com/story/2016/08/trump-calls-clinton-a-monster226748. Martyna, Wendy. "Beyond the ‘He/Man’ Approach: The Case for Nonsexist Language." Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society 5(1980): 482-493. Mosbergen, Dominique. “Robin Thicke’s ‘Blurred Lines’ Dubbed ‘Rapey,’ Hit Song Under Fire From Critics.” Huffington Post, June 18, 2013. Accessed August 18, 2016. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/18/robin-thicke-blurred-linesrapey_n_3461215.html. Nelson, Libby. “Donald Trump Says Women Don’t Like Hillary Clinton. They Dislike Him Even More.” Vox, April 26, 2016. Accessed May 25, 2016. http://www.vox.com/2016/4/26/11514948/trump-clintonwomen. Parry-Giles, Shawn. Hillary Clinton in the News: Gender and Authenticity in American Politics. Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 2014.

122

Chapter Eight

Philbrick, Ian Prasad. “No One Should Be Surprised that a Young Boy Called Hillary the B-Word at a Trump Rally.” Slate, August 3, 2016, Accessed August 19, 2016. http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/08/03/no_one_should_be_ surprised_that_a_young_boy_called_hillary_the_b_word_at.html. Polk, Sam. "How Wall Street Bro Talk Keeps Women Down." New York Times, July 10, 2016. Accessed August 23, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/10/opinion/sunday/how-wall-streetbro-talk-keeps-women-down.html?smid=twnytimes&smtyp=cur&_r=1. Ritchie, Jessica. “Creating a Monster: Online Media Constructions of Hillary Clinton During the Democratic Primary Campaign, 20072008.” Feminist Media Studies 13(2013): 102-119. Robinson, Eugene. “The Race That Wouldn’t Die.” Washington Post, April 25, 2008. Accessed August 18, 2016. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wpdyn/content/article/2008/04/24/AR2008042402985.html. Ross, Janell. “Plenty of Americans Believe in the Notion of the ‘Woman Card.’” Washington Post, May 24, 2016. Accessed May 25, 2016, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/05/24/plentyof-americans-believe-in-the-notion-of-the-woman-card/. Steiger, Kay. “Trump Mocked Clinton’s ‘Woman Card.’ He Forgets that Makes the Election About Masculinity.” Vox.com, May 5, 2016. Accessed May 25, 2016. http://www.vox.com/2016/5/5/11571446/hillary-clinton-donald-trumpgender-woman-card. U.S. Department of Justice: Bureau of Justice Statistics. “Intimate Partner Violence in the United States,” 2007. Accessed August 18, 2016. http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/ipvus.pdf. WhoLeadsUs.com. “Reflective Democracy Campaign,” 2016. Accessed May 25, 2016. http://wholeads.us/. Wilstein, Matt. “MSNBC’s Tamron Hall Confronts Scott Baio for Tweet Calling Hillary Clinton a ‘C*nt.’” The Daily Beast, July 19, 2016. Accessed August 19, 2016. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/07/19/msnbc-s-tamronhall-confonts-scott-baio-for-tweet-calling-hillary-clinton-a-c-nt.html.

CHAPTER NINE EMBODYING GENDER LANGUAGE: TENSION IN PERFORMANCE BETH J. BOLLINGER

“My vagina’s angry. It is. It’s pissed off. My vagina’s furious and it needs to talk. It needs to talk about all this shit. It needs to talk to you.”(Ensler 1994).

This quote, penned by Eve Ensler, is one example of dialogue, often times shouted, by thousands of women who perform The Vagina Monologues on college campuses each year. The monologues vary in topic, but it is the diversity of stories shared that create awareness of gender violence, genital mutilation, and vagina empowerment (meaning sexual freedom and confidence) for those who encounter them. The value of The Vagina Monologues is apparent; the monologues are still being performed nineteen years after the show’s origination (V-Day 2013). One thing that makes The Vagina Monologues so powerful, and often controversial, is the pointed approach it takes to create awareness of gendered violence. The monologues are individual stories, but those stories are meant to represent hundreds of voices that have shared in the experiences. The monologues are unapologetic in their style of communication. The interaction between the performer and the audience is direct; the performer will shout, scream, cry, or fake orgasms—just to name a few—in order to communicate different messages of how violence against women actually affects them. The goal of The Vagina Monologues is to raise awareness about violence against women and both verbal and nonverbal communication is used to convey the particular messages the performers have to share. Literature on the Vagina Monologues tends to evaluate the messages the monologues attempt to convey to audience members. Many scholars have discussed the background of the V-Day movement and the path taken by Eve Ensler to create The Vagina Monologues (Bell and Reverby 2005). There has also been much criticism surrounding the title chosen by Ensler,

124

Chapter Nine

the lack of racially diverse voices represented, and the complex line the monologues attempt to walk between sexual freedom and domination (Hammers 2006). In order to illuminate existing tensions that surround performances of these monologues, a brief discussion of the criticisms leveled at the Monologues will be detailed.

Research on The Vagina Monologues The Vagina Monologues has been praised for its feminist stance on issues of violence against women and female sexual empowerment; however, many have critiqued such praise and raised questions about inclusivity of voices from different backgrounds, or the lack thereof, in the movement. Particularly, they have critiqued the role of the vagina in sexual experiences (Bell and Reverby 2005; Njambi 2009). The monologues predominantly describe sexual experiences only from a white, heterosexual female perspective. Although many voices and stories are not represented in the monologues, Ensler has taken strides to add varying perspectives in her more contemporary material. Monologues describing lesbian sexual encounters, orgasmic experiences for the aged, and the beauty of vaginal birth are a few of the new additions intended to diversify the monologues. Most critics, however, generally do not think that these strides have helped to alleviate the all-American, white voices from remaining dominant during performances. Another commentary found in research about the Vagina Monologues is the discussion of the word “vagina.” It is often suggested that the monologues are a production put in place in order to explore and defy cultural norms and social taboos surrounding private parts—mainly, the vagina (Braun 1999; Hammers 2006). In fact, it is this very discussion of Ensler’s multiple vagina depictions that have caused many scholars to question the monologues: are they really feminist (Hammers 2006)? They question her monologues, because although they use language to challenge cultural norms surrounding the vagina, many wonder if this adequately walks the line between simply reciting powerful language and actually bridging the gap between a monologue and performer to empower the individual. To infuse feminist theory into the monologues and the word “vagina” means that there is an important distinction between “power to” and “power over” that must be defined (DeFrancisco and Palczewski 2007). Scholars argue that this distinction can become fuzzy during monologues with controversial vagina depictions. Critics of The Vagina Monologues find that this feminist outlook on the typically taboo “vagina” does not

Embodying Gender Language: Tension in Performance

125

always make a clear distinction between what type of power the vagina is enacting. In one particular monologue, “The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could,” the vagina is described as a place of liberation. The monologue, told from the perspective of a sixteen-year-old young woman, insists that the memory of her specific sexual encounter was her “surprising, unexpected and politically-incorrect salvation” (Ensler 1994). Much criticism has been levied against the memory’s eerie description matching that of rape, not liberating salvation. This is one example of a critique of the Monologues, and criticisms like this are important to keep in mind as tension involving topic choice and methods are discussed in the following pages.

Researching The Vagina Monologues Understanding the powerful role communication plays in sending messages for the performers of The Vagina Monologues, it would make sense that scholars would begin to ask questions about the communication choices of monologue performers. Surprisingly, this connection has not been evaluated, as scholars have chosen to focus on the communication exchanges between a monologue and its audience, such as how a performer can enact a text in such a way as to create an emotional appeal for audience members. There has been little to no evaluation of the communication between a monologue and its performer. Those who choose to perform stories of rape, abuse, bondage, or liberation on stage spend months preparing for such a role. The level of empathy that is required to embody such violence in order to achieve a convincing performance takes a great amount of emotional investment and emotional labor. Most who perform the monologues are not professionals, but are college students who grapple with intense texts for long periods of time in order to deliver them to packed auditoriums. In short, “there is no denying the effect of testimonies in the play… the transformative power of the play to help myriad women find voice to name both sexual desire and sexual violence” (Basu 2010).Non-professionals— students—oftentimes become the vehicle of power to connect an audience to a monologue. Taking on such a voice is not typically easy, and the repercussions of such a task have great potential to end negatively. As I began observations of a performance of The Vagina Monologues, I uncovered great implications for myself and other researchers who write about another’s (gender) performance. Put simply, methodological tensions arose when I conducted this research. Often, students do not hear about the stories that involve methodological and theoretical tensions in

126

Chapter Nine

research experiences. I experienced both, particularly when I became involved in the observation and re-telling of someone else’s story. The following pages attempt to share my experiences in exploring questions related to the performances of gender in The Vagina Monologues, and the methodological tensions that accompanied this particular research endeavor. Specifically, autoethnographic methodological tensions arose from my field observation experiences and my re-telling of the performers themselves, not just their performances, often found in the form of my field note reflections. In order to capture more data in my field notes, I wrote personal reflections after each observation of a monologue meeting, rehearsal and performance. These personal reflections will be noted in italics and titled “Reflection,” in order to shine light on the thoughts I held as a (student) researcher at my field site. It is my hope that these personal reflections will illuminate the tensions all researchers may encounter when conducting field work involving the telling of participant stories.

Reflection I wrap the sweater tighter around my body; it’s chilly walking back to my car. I didn’t plan for this cold of a walk from the theatre when I left my house. The hairs on my arms are raised, but I know it’s not just from the weather. I glance furtively to the left and bore into the bushes, attempting to locate the source of slight rustling. Instinctively, I reach for my cell phone, ready to call my brother. I want to have someone on the line while I’m walking back to the parking garage in the dark. The words from “They Beat the Girl Out of My Boy” fill my thoughts. It was the closing monologue and I can still visualize the murder of the character. I remember Lizzy telling me she once thought this campus was safe too. As I reach the parking structure, I begin to let out my breath. I didn’t realize I had been holding it. Are the other girls feeling the fear that just consumed me? Are they re-living their words, their images, and their memories? I know I am here to observe their rehearsals and performances, but I can’t help but be consumed by the words they are reciting from a page. I wonder what they feel performing those words. Do they identify? Does it make them nervous to walk back to their dorm in the night? Why hasn’t anyone else asked these questions of the performers? Is it wrong that I do, even when I didn’t start out with this research question? I try to ignore the images in my mind, created from listening to some of the “tough” monologues. I can’t. Once in my car, I surrender to the violent memories of them. I take a deep breath. I double check the lock on my car door. I reach for the steering wheel. I slip the key into the ignition. Uninvited, the monologues fill me with fearful images. I didn’t even perform. What is it like for those who did?

Embodying Gender Language: Tension in Performance

127

Observations This research was conducted using autoethnographic methods as a way to fully capture the emotions of my participants (Tracy 2013), my own internal conflicts that arose from being a participant observer, and the way my past experiences affected the observations of these performances. As a researcher who previously performed the monologues, I cannot represent the data without my own personal experiences intervening. To minimize the intrusion of biases that may arise as a result, I use “systematic study, analysis, and narrative description of [my] own experiences, interactions, culture, and identity” (Tracy 2013, 30) to make sense of the data. Throughout my time observing the more than sixty women involved in this particular university’s production of the monologues, I found that although I did not speak a monologue into existence, I ended up becoming a performer regardless, often through the re-telling of these stories in what I call research. This tension between researcher and active participant can often be found within data collection. As researchers, we often want to remain uninvolved, however, some field sites, such as the one used in this study, require greater participation in the phenomenon that we are studying than we might have originally intended.

Reflection The last words of the final monologue are spoken and I wish I could stand with the girls to get a better view. I chide myself—you are a fly on the wall, you are not to be in the way. The memories of spending time with the girls come flooding back, and I forget that I am a researcher. Instead, I remember back to when I was an undergraduate student performing my own monologues, about to take my rightful curtain call. I want to applaud these girls, applaud my own efforts of endless hours of observation, yet I back even further into the corner. I remember my undergraduate experience; I miss my friends and that time with an intensity I had thought I had forgotten. I try to blend in to the darkness, although I desire to stand in the light.

Methods Previous experience with a production of The Vagina Monologues at a university in the northwest proved to be essential in gaining access to my research site in the southwest. Having contacted the directors and explaining my background and familiarity with the monologues, I was enthusiastically welcomed to the production meetings, rehearsals, and

128

Chapter Nine

performances. I conducted roughly 35 hours of observation throughout a month and a half period. I conducted five structured formal interviews in addition to roughly 8 informal interviews. A total of 60 single-spaced typed pages were the result of meeting, rehearsal, and performance observations. Realizing that there were many voices, perspectives, and stories contained within each performer of The Vagina Monologues was key when I began my primary-cycle coding. It is important to remember that the data and patterns found within this performance of The Vagina Monologues are patterns found within one particular set of voices. Every performance and production of The Vagina Monologues is different. Although each production uses the same dialogue, their monologue line-up varies, as do the performer choices made to convey each monologue’s message. Therefore, the impact of the monologues on a performer has the potential to be different at each site. Specifically, I found tension in taking my participant voices and transforming them into themes and codes, which is an integral part of the qualitative research process. Furthermore, although I enjoyed recording my participants’ thoughts and experiences in my field notes, I found converging participant voices with my own created tension in the accuracy of my work and feelings of adequate participant representation. Representing accurately and properly numerous voices within one participant pool can be challenging. As a researcher, it is important to represent all voices well, even when there are conflicting paths to go about creating accurate representation (Chase 2008; Tracy 2013).

Reflection I don’t like making codes. After hearing these stories, experiencing their lives, I realize that I may be silencing my participants in similar ways as they talked about society silencing them. I put their many words into categories and I code them into certain types of themes. Similarly, society tells them that they must be put into categories, that they must be a certain type of woman. The more I think about being an ethnographer, the more I realize I can’t do it. I cannot write about my experiences with these women without acknowledging my own role in interpreting what I see about what they do. I’m beginning to question if research is ever truly “representative.” We are always taking other people’s words and re-stating them. We bring our own lens of experience, background, and interpretation to their actions and terms. On the most mundane level, I interpret through my own eyes who “the leader” is of the group and even what “leader” means.

Embodying Gender Language: Tension in Performance

129

I am uncomfortable thinking that I may be quoting a participant, but the words not in quotation marks are my own. It is everything not in quotations that has the potential to put words in my participants’ mouths. I need to go talk to my professor. I need to know what this means for me as a researcher. Does this mean I am just inexperienced? Do others have a problem with this? My participants–these women–have gone through so much to prepare for their performance night. What does it mean if I am uncomfortable with my methods of observing and writing about them after I have invested so much time and relationship with this incredible group of women? What does this mean for my results—should I even write them?

Results Through observing the rehearsals for these Vagina Monologues, I developed a deep sense of methodological conflict, as noted above. I also discovered a profound sense of relationship and social support created through participation in such difficult monologue preparation. Many times throughout rehearsals, the women of these monologues asked questions in an effort to get to know one another in order to help make delicate monologue topics feel less sensitive. This type of interaction and communication is often called social support. Much social support was found among these participants, however, the social support was not always positive. Social support is defined as family or friends who offer acts of “seeking, providing or enacting, receiving and perceiving support” (Virtanen and Isotalus 2011, 27). They are a group of people perceived as offering concern, love, or help. Social support has been found to be essential in the creation of community and the development of an individual’s friendships. The amount of intimacy disclosed by perceived social supporters has been found to directly impact the level of community felt by an individual. When discussing topics surrounding rape and sexual assault, social support has been found to be critical in an individual’s processing of such discussions. One example of social support during The Vagina Monologues is found when the girls shared about their week and one girl discloses, “I was drunk and then I fucked him. And then he broke up with me. All I wanted to do was stay home because I had just been broken up with. Is that awful?” The girls instantly chime together, “No! That’s not awful. You need to go out—we need to go out together!” The girl was offered a hug while tears filled her eyes. As her share time was about to end, a girl quietly asked me, “Wait, what’s her name?” The perceived social support was apparent, however, in reality she was a nameless story.

130

Chapter Nine

These girls had spent weeks rehearsing their performances together, yet they did not know each other’s names. Although it seemed as if social support was being given in the room, little support was given after this exchange. When I followed up with the girls at the next meeting, no one had gone out together. Little community was actually being created, and therefore, it appeared as if little support was being given outside of the designated meeting times. Social support is found during the cast and crew meetings, as women create spaces to ask each other questions about school, life, and monologue preparation. However, that social support may not be actually helping the women creating it. As a result of the perceived intimacy that comes along with social support, when Lizzy walked into the room after being assaulted the night before, the girls felt the authority to “support” her by hearing every last salacious violence-filled detail. Intimacy is the level to which individuals feel as if they “know” someone; it is the depth of their connection. Oftentimes deep intimacy comes from long amounts of time spent “getting to know” someone. Although the performers of The Vagina Monologues do spend a lengthy amount of time working together, often, many of the young women do not actually know the person they are talking to or who is sharing. Community is created, but it is not built on a foundation that lasts. The performers feel as if they need to support the women around them, but they do not actually offer support when difficult situations come because they did not build a community which taught them how to be proper support. This type of social support may occur because of the performative nature of the Monologues. The Monologues are a performance-based production, therefore, the women may feel as if they must continually be performing, both on and off the stage. The disconcerting nature of this social support may be occurring consciously or unconsciously by the women as they continually “perform” throughout meetings, interactions, and also performances themselves.

Reflection When Lizzy walks into the room, she is hesitant at first— cautiously taking steps forward. It looks as if she is testing the waters of support. Her face is black and blue; bruises covering her skin. She looks down at the ground, perhaps from the sudden attention, because she is normally overlooked— or perhaps it comes from shame? The girls crowd around her. I think, “Just let her breath, you idiots. Can’t you see she’s been through enough?” There hasn’t been this much excitement in the room since right before the first performance. I hate that there is just as much, if not more, excitement now. I am standing off to the side, taking in the whole scene. I

Embodying Gender Language: Tension in Performance

131

don’t want to add to the number of girls vying to offer Lizzy a hug, hoping for a chance to touch a discolored bruise. I don’t know where my role of advocate begins and researcher ends—if it does at all. I remain silent, caught in the tension caused because of my researcher role.

Consequences of social support The consequences of this type of social support might not seem apparent at first, as social support is generally viewed as a positive outcome of community. In the case for this particular Vagina Monologues, social support may not be creating friendship through community. Rather, it may be creating pseudo-friendship. Working together around deeply intense and violent monologue images does not always lead to social support that contains depth or create true intimacy. Although at times friendship was found, more often than not, pseudo-friendship was the norm; girls received thrills from hearing others share salacious or shocking stories. As shown with the example of the young women touching Lizzy’s bruises, it seemed as if social support often was confused with the desire to hear shocking stories. Uncovering this type of “social support” was difficult to grapple with in my role as feminist and researcher. I wanted my participants to react differently when Lizzy detailed her assault and I wanted them to provide her with resources, emotional support, and affirming dialogue. Instead, they wanted to hear her experience as a story to be retold, rather than supported. As a researcher, I realized that I had to write about Lizzy’s story.

Reflection I’m beginning to wonder if I will also contribute to poor support because I plan to share Lizzy’s story with a world that she is not a part of. I wonder how to write about her story as a researcher. Do I remain detached? Do I write with emotion? Keep a level head? Or do I use my platform as a researcher and publisher to advocate change for experiences that many women, just like Lizzy, experience all across the world?

My tense vagina: Feeling at odds as a narrator Realizing my discomfort with the emerging data, I began to become uncomfortable with my role as a researcher. I was now an unreliable narrator, or author, whose credibility has been compromised. Throughout my research of this particular production of The Vagina Monologues, I

132

Chapter Nine

found a pattern of conflict within myself. I was not just a bystander, observing these monologues from afar. Instead, I was incorporated into them. I gave a bow at final curtain call. I helped decorate the theatre. I had performed these words previously, and often unprompted, I would observe my participants and realize I had been drawn back into a previous memory of my own Vagina Monologue experience. I could not observe the performers without bringing my own memory into their actions. I questioned the accuracy and reliability of my interpretations, even of my own memories.

Vagina panic: Finding conflict in research It is important to reiterate that each performance of The Vagina Monologues is different. Each performer is different. This ethnography is limited; it cannot and does not claim to represent how all performers engage communicatively with each other or the material they perform. Researchers have evaluated The Vagina Monologues from the perspective of those who are marginalized; they have asked whose voices are represented, missing, or perhaps inaccurately portrayed while evaluating the text and performances of the Monologues. As (student) researchers, we are often confronted with and observe experiences, language, and interactions that give us reason to pause, contemplate, and make decisions about how to write and represent our data. In qualitative research in particular, we are constantly asked to “reflect.” The way that we approach this reflection can dramatically shape our writings, papers, and publications. How we reflect can shape how our participants’ voices are heard, perceived, and remembered. Being a researcher means wielding power, and that power oftentimes comes through the representation of words. Although many of us have taken ethics courses in research and attempt to remain as unbiased or representative as possible, tension can and will still arise in our research experiences and methodologies. When you find conflict in research, as I did while conducting this ethnography for a performance of The Vagina Monologues, how we approach our next steps is incredibly important. I realized that an ethnography was not appropriate in this instance. Rather, I changed my approach to an auto-ethnography in order to more accurately reflect the tensions I experienced in applying so much of my own perspective and background to the research process. Encountering conflict in your research is not abnormal and it certainly does not mean that you are inexperienced. What it does mean, however, is that you are critically thinking about your role as a researcher and the

Embodying Gender Language: Tension in Performance

133

impact you can have with your work. Ensuring that you address your conflict and approach your research from an ethical standpoint are crucial first steps to take. Just as my participants did not shy away from investing time and passion in the difficult topics found within The Vagina Monologues, so you, and I too, should not shy away from difficult conflicts we find along the path to becoming seasoned researchers, full professors, or wherever it is that these paths take us.

Reflection I thought I would quietly observe from the side, but instead, I become one of them. The girls saw me shrinking back into the dark, and in response, pulled me forward into the light. Well, not really pulled—but coaxed, accompanied, and drew. They say I am valuable. I blush. They say I’m one of them now. I look down at the floor bashfully. Am I really one of them? I try to tell them I’m just a researcher, here to see, but they don’t take my excuses. No, you are just as much a part of this as we are, they say. You are doing just as much for our cause. I begin to grin as they grab my hand and lead me forward. The light is blinding when I am pushed into the middle of the stage. All I can see are the girls’ glittering eyes around me. Front and center, that’s where I am; the audience can hardly be seen at all.

References Basu, Srimati. “V is for Veil, V is for Ventriloquism: Global Feminisms in the Vagina Monologues.” Frontiers 31(2010): 35. Bell, Susan and Reverby, Susan. “Vaginal Politics: Tensions and Possibilities in the Vagina Monologues.” Women’s Studies International Forum 28(2005): 430-444. Braun, Virginia. “Public Talk About ‘Private Parts.’” Feminism & Psychology 9(1999): 515-522. Chase, Susan. “Narrative Inquiry: Multiple Lenses, Approaches, Voices.” In Collecting and Interpreting Qualitative Materials, edited by Norman Denzin and Yvonna Lincoln, 57-94.Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2008.. DeFrancisco, Victoria and Palczewski, Catherine. Communication Gender Diversity. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications, 2007. Denzin, Norman and Lincoln, Yvonna (eds.). The Sage Handbook of Qualitative Research. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2005.

134

Chapter Nine

Ensler, Eve. “The Vagina Monologues: The Official Transcript for the 2011 V-Day Campaigns.” UC Davis, 1994. Accessed November 25, 2016. http://wrrc.ucdavis.edu/files/vmon%20sample%20script.pdf Hammers, Michele. “Talking about ‘Down There’: The Politics of Publicizing the Female Body Through the Vagina Monologues.” Women’s Studies in Communication 29 (2006): 220-243. Njambi, WairimNJ NgarNJiya. “‘One Vagina to Go’: Eve Ensler’s Universal Vagina and Its Implications for African Women.” Australian Feminist Studies 24(2009): 167-180. Tracy, Sarah. Qualitative Research Methods: Collecting Evidence, Crafting Analysis, Communicating Impact. Malden, MA: WileyBlackwell, 2013. V-Day. “Why V-Day Started.” V-Day, 2013. Accessed November 26, 2016. http://www.vday.org/about/why-vday-started Virtanen, Ira and Isotalus, Pekka. “The Essence of Social Support in Interpersonal Communication.” European Journal for the Philosophy of Communication 3(2011): 27.

CHAPTER TEN SPEAKING UP, ACTING OUT: REFLECTIVE DIALOGUE AND THE FIRST-YEAR WRITING COURSE KELLY CONCANNON AND ASHLEY NICOLS

As a professor of Writing and Rhetoric, I feel that it is my responsibility to use the classroom space to create conditions through which students can critically examine how they construct arguments, as well as the ethical implications of the types of arguments that they construct. In doing so, students are afforded the opportunity to re-examine particular kinds of language that circulate frequently in their everyday lives. In my introductory writing and research courses, students oftentimes struggle to see the classroom space as one that is open and forgiving—one where they can truly say what is on their minds in hopes of making sense of how language actually functions to shape their thinking and belief systems. I question what makes students actually struggle in a classroom that is built to take seriously how they use language to maneuver different aspects of their everyday lives. Is it that the classroom has traditionally been too safe? Is it that students have learned how to perform in ways that allow them to earn a particular grade and move on to the next level? And if we take both of these questions to be true,as scholars like Megan Boler (2004), amongst others, suggest, we, as educators, have a lot of work to do to break down the barriers that prevent institutional change from occurring, given the myriad traditional relationships to power and privilege involved with that participating in higher education. We need to turn to multiple sources to address these issues. One of the most significant and powerful sources of reflection and insight is the perspectives of students (Kumashiro 2002). When we provide students the space to speak back to the assignments, course discussions, and curriculum in ways that are divorced from the constraints of the traditional classroom

136

Chapter Ten

setting, progressive educators are introduced to perspectives that may greatly enhance how we set in motion conditions of and for political change. Our goal in this chapter is to use reflection as an analytic to allow us to think, carefully, about the role of the classroom in particular, and the university in general, to effectively contribute to societal change. Thus, this chapter will provide space for an undergraduate student—one who is invested in social justice and inspired by feminist activism—to provide a candid reflection about her experiences being engaged in a university setting that attempts to create conditions for activism, diversity, and collaboration. Our reflection provides a standpoint to scrutinize understandings of gender as it is constructed, performed, evaluated, and negotiated through communication in a variety of contexts. We follow the work of many liberatory pedagogues, who see the university as a site of possibility and resistance when students move from objects to active subjects in the re-construction of their individual realities (Freire 2001). This chapter examines the role of language in gender constructions, and takes seriously the extent to which educational discourses and practices impact moves towards social justice. We want to make clear, however, that this chapter is driven by our own experiences and personal commitments to social justice. We do not pretend that we can isolate gender as a form of oppression. We believe that identities are multiple, complex, and overlapping and it is difficult to elevate one aspect of an individual’s identitiy over others. In Feminism Without Borders, Chandra Mohanty (2013) indicates that “being a woman has political consequences in the world we live in; that there can be unjust and unfair effects on women depending on our economic and social marginality and/or privilege (3). To that end, we believe that a discussion of gender construction, through an examination of the language used towards individuals of a certain gender, should be seen as a lens to explore multiple forms of discrimination and/or oppression. Our work takes seriously the significance of speaking back to institutions of power and privilege, as we feel that a reflective narrative about our experiences in education disrupts a variety of narratives whereby teachers solely speak about the successes and/or failures of their classrooms. In Talking Back: Thinking Feminist, Thinking Black, author bell hooks (1989) argues that we need to establish discourses where we are open. She argues that it is vital to expose the in between—the spaces where the public and the private meet. “The public reality and institutional structures of domination make the private space for oppression and exploitation concrete—real. That’s why I think it crucial to talk about the

Speaking Up, Acting Out

137

points where the public and private meet, to connect the two. And even folks who talk about ending domination seem to be afraid to break down the space separating the two” (2). Telling our narratives as we truly see them, according to hooks, can be a process through which to reclaim power. In this chapter, we will briefly contextualize our encounters in an introductory and advanced level composition classroom and will highlight some of the work produced that helps expose what it means to critically engage in the process of understanding the ethical dimensions of language use. We will present a series of reflections which we hope will serve to speculate about the complex role of academic discourse (as a public discourse) in setting in motion the conditions of and for future dialogues outside of the classroom regarding societal change. We will conclude this chapter with a discussion on practical strategies for continuing these conversations, as we imagine new ways to talk back, as scholars like bell hooks amongst others identify.

Classroom practices We began COMP 1500 together in the fall 2014 at Nova Southeastern University in Ft. Lauderdale. Like many introductory composition courses at universities across the country, this introductory writing course required students to inquire into a variety of discursive practices, rhetorically analyze discipline-specific texts, engage in collaborative projects, and finish the semester by writing a sustained research project. The course is as much about creating knowledge as it is about more traditional notions of research and writing, and students generally find these processes challenging. Throughout the course, students integrate several sources and engage in critical dialogue with their colleagues throughout the semester. Reflection plays a key role in these processes. Our course was grounded in rhetorical theories and practices. Throughout the semester, students were asked to explore myriad rhetorical questions about the nature of language, discourse, and knowledge production. Further, students were challenged to critically assess the nature of arguments—how they are constructed, how they gain currency and are circulated by particular groups—and the like. To that end, students were asked to explore how cultural attitudes and opinions saturated their everyday lives and dictated some of the decisions that they made. Thus, their individual experiences outside of the classroom played an integral role in understanding the rhetorical implications within the classroom.

138

Chapter Ten

Ashley was a student who regularly spoke up in class. As a Business major, she had participated in several leadership conferences and was an active member on NSU’s campus. In class, she was not shy to contribute, and consistently challenged many of the assumptions and limited assertions that were presented by her colleagues—namely those that were linked to gender identities and sexuality. Ashley created several projects that critically examined the effects of gender/sexuality on identities in multiple settings. She exhibited a level of excitement and passion towards issues related to gender inequality—many of which she indicated that she wanted to explore beyond our introductory course. I worked closely with Ashley after the class had ended. I invited her to participate as a guest speaker at a local at-risk alternative learning center. Here, she discussed her experiences as a college student, and tried to create connections with high school girls. The work that she did outside of the classroom was all voluntary, and required a certain level of commitment and skill. Working closely with at-risk high school girls can be challenging, especially when the work attempts to create opportunities for the young girls to critically examine their everyday lives and challenge everyday experiences of oppression. Ashley and I cultivated a relationship outside of the classroom that was built on common goals. Therefore, Ashley’s vantage point is a significant one. She had successfully completed the introductory writing course after being exposed to different ways that literacy could allow her to speak back to gendered oppression; further, she continued to address gender oppression outside of the university. Thus, we decided to include her work from the course, because we feel that the classroom environment greatly impacted her ability to claim feminism. The first paper included after her initial reflection reveals how Ashley approached the second unit assignment in introductory composition. The second major assignment in the course asked students to create a rhetorical analysis of how language is used in their everyday lives. The idea was to get students thinking carefully about the nature of language, and to get them to see that language is not arbitrary, but rather, language is a reflection of what we value as a culture. Students were challenged to choose words in their everyday lives that they may hear on a daily basis, and I welcomed words that may be saturated with a lot of affect. For the assignment, students were asked to re-create a real or imagined rhetorical situation where the term was used. Once they were able to create an effective rhetorical situation, they were instructed to apply rhetorical concepts of agent/writer, audience, purpose, and context. This move asked students to think carefully about how identities and histories matter in our

Speaking Up, Acting Out

139

use and reception of language. Students were also asked to think carefully about the tensions between intent and effect as something that is dictated by rhetorical contexts. The final portion of the assignment required students to consult outside sources which complicated their everyday experiences. This move was intended to get students to think beyond their individual experiences, and to start to imagine how their experiences are part of a larger cultural and historical context. The concluding portion asked them to pose complex questions regarding their analyses. Ashley’s reflection highlights how powerful it was to critically assess a word that had distinct gendered implications. She emphasizes the importance of having these opportunities to carefully examine how language use is linked to political action.

Reflection #1: Put a name on it College: a period of one’s life filled to the brim with diversity, adversity, and self-discovery. The diverse environment that is a college campus often brings people together who would have otherwise never thought about crossing paths. The adversity present in and around the college experience strengthens these newfound relationships. And, the self-discovery that is bound to accompany this milestone time solidifies the morals, values, and beliefs that each individual person chooses to carry with them for the rest of their lives. Feminism was a part of my own personal self-discovery. I found feminism in my freshman composition course. Well, I found a name for the concept I have always carried with me. In this course, my classmates and I were directed to choose a word that we were personally afflicted by. Unbeknownst to me at the time, myself and several of my classmates would choose words that are gendered, in the vast majority, towards women. Among the words chosen to be written about were the following: bitch, slut, whore, and the phrases “like a girl,” and “dumb-blonde.” And, in retrospect, another great word would have been “bossy.” Before this assignment I was never conceptually aware of the use of these words or the way that these words exemplified sexism. Hell, before this course I was guilty of using these words, as I had never fully understood the social impact that these terms could have on myself, those around me, or those looking up to me. I didn’t even begin to understand the implications of such language until I began to write these words: “Slut Shaming,” by Ashley Nichols As a woman it is easy to see the differences between accepted male behaviors in comparison to that of female behavior, especially in terms of

140

Chapter Ten

sexuality. Every child aims to please and generally everyone wants to be a “good person;” however, the attributes necessary to accomplish such a goal should lie in personality, attitudes, and the way we treat others. A woman’s sexuality should not make her a “bad person,” and therefore, should not be a factor in determining her worth. As feminists become a rising force, women are setting the stage to bring down a patriarchal concept used to put women down for thousands of years. Because women have been raised under this standard for such a long time there are a lot of people, women included, who do not see or understand this problem. When women began to question this ideology the only answer available was “this is how it’s always been.” Thanks to a few women who were unsatisfied with this answer, the feminist movement began. It is this uprising movement that demands answers to the question: how does the idea of slut shaming affect a young girl’s sense of self as she grows and develops into a woman. I remember the first time I was called a slut. I was sitting in my ninth grade physical science class, quiet and focused as the good student I always was, when I looked up and made direct eye contact with my then boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. The second our eyes met, she scornfully mouthed the word “slut” at me and then giggled with her friend sitting next to her. Not only had this fellow young lady used the harmful word against me but yet another female joined her in laughing about it. At the time I wasn’t really concerned with anything that she may or may not have felt towards me as I was confident in myself as an innocent young lady. I couldn’t have been farther from the true definition of a slut if I had just been birthed. Looking back on that moment years later I realize that the word is oftentimes used inappropriately much like many other words in the English dictionary. The definition of the word slut, according the online version of the Merriam Webster Dictionary, is “a slovenly woman, a promiscuous woman; especially: prostitute.” Delving deeper into the true meaning of the word I ask myself, what exactly constitutes as promiscuity? Again referencing the Merriam Webster Dictionary a sexually promiscuous person is “not limited to one sexual partner.” This has no time or gender oriented means of measure; yet, the word slut purely targets women. In today’s society it is “socially acceptable” for young men to engage in sexual activity with multiple partners, in fact it is commended from one man to the next; however the opposite is true for young women. Women partaking in the same activities are seen as damaged goods. This segregates the young women from the men in that society tells men that it’s okay to express themselves and their sexuality while telling women that doing just that makes them immoral. In my efforts to further

Speaking Up, Acting Out

141

understand why the word “slut” was chosen as the insult of choice that morning in science class, I came across an article that backs the idea that labeling a woman as a slut is judging her to be a generally bad person with little worth. In this particular situation, the dependence of young women on men is exemplified, as the whole ordeal was brought about over a male: a degrading slur was used to label a young teenager as equivalent to a prostitute. The circumstances leading up to this conversation were juvenile and I am led to believe that the word choice was indeed the product of these girls’ very own experiences with slut shaming. These girls had a very limited understanding of the insult but they knew for sure that it was, in fact, insulting. The exchange of one word may have impacted three young girls in a way that two of them may never know. As the victim in the situation, I may see the term “slut” for what it is, hurtful and demeaning; and, as a result of my “victimization,” I grew from that moment to be more self-aware of my word choices. The two girls on the delivering end of the insulting term may not have realized the implications behind its usage or the impact the word has, thus, they may not have taken as much from the incident as I did. While I became aware of the negative repercussions of this term, these girls were only making the overall situation worse: embracing slut shaming and woman hating without any knowledge that it was happening. The girls have since grown up and embarked on life journeys of their own. One can only hope that they have experienced an awe inspiring moment of clarity and have since ceased the usage of the slur. I am beyond certain that most, if not every, girls have been on the receiving end of such a destructive word and that assumption alone is enough to rally for the discontinuation of “slut” or, at the very least, means to raise awareness on this very important issue. “‘Slut Shaming:” Why We Should Be Shaming the Word ‘Slut’ Instead,” was published in the online forum Candor News. In the article, author Lauren Young (2014) discusses the use of the word “slut” in relation to sexual expression, assault, and feminism. Young’s main point is that while some words are being redefined to empower those once hurt by them…”slut” shouldn’t be one of them. Young references statistics on rape and sexual exploitation but also brings in examples such as the “slutwalk,” recently renamed the “walk of no shame,” and young girls clothing manufacturers. Young explains that the word slut is entirely feminized: only used to insult women. Young provides examples of society sexualizing women from early ages regarding the trendy clothing for young girls with shirts proclaiming “I’m too pretty to” do such and such: addressing these young girls as reliant on men before they even

142

Chapter Ten

understand what’s happening. This further divides gender expectations. Young blatantly states that blaming a 10-year old girl for dressing provocatively is “disturbing” (Young 2014) Addressing the real issue, Young clarifies that these young girls “are not victims of slut shaming (yet), instead they are victims of “woman hating.” Young uses this comparison to demonstrate that slut shaming is indeed, also a form of “woman hating” (Young 2014). The illustration of these young girls growing into the very women who face the discrimination that is slut shaming, is the main concern in Young’s article. It is men who created this insulting and demeaning ideology centuries ago, and there is no possibility of reclaiming this hurtful term in a way that is liberating to women. If women continue using the word “slut” (even with a positive connotation, if that’s possible), it provides men with an inlet to continue the use of the word. The continuation of slut shaming “just further normalizes the idea that women who do act in a sexual manner are indeed ‘sluts’ and one shouldn’t shame them for that rather than shaming the destructive term itself” (Young 2014). Self-proclaimed “Young, Radical, Gripping, but never unfair,” the forum may be seen as untrustworthy with regards to the “radical” claim; however, the research presented within the article proves the source reliable. There seems to be some bias on Young’s behalf as she is a woman and it can be assumed that she is a very active member in the feminist community. Due to the nature of the article it can also be assumed that it is written to target her feminist colleagues; however, the article still elicits thoughts one may not normally consider: thoughts that I, until recently, didn’t even recognize as a problem. Like myself, most women are so used to “the way things are” that we don’t even notice how differently we are treated until something terrible happens and shocks us into awareness. In 2011 such an occurrence did shock the women in this country and, in retaliation, the “SlutWalk” was born. This article was written in June of 2014 so the information is relevant to current times and inclusive of recent eye-opening events. The “Walk of No Shame” started as the “SlutWalk” in response to a comment made by a law enforcement officer. Of all people, a man who was sworn to protect the rights of every citizen was quoted saying “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order to avoid being victimized.” Coming from the mouth of a man, this only enforces the concept that women don’t need to restrict what we wear in order to prevent being attacked; instead, men should be taught not to rape: seeing women as people instead of a good to be bought and used. Women should be able to dress in as little or as much clothing as they please and their clothing and

Speaking Up, Acting Out

143

or lack thereof should not dictate their sexual desires. This goes as far as the dress codes in the K-12 school system where girls are barred from wearing shorts shorter than mid-thigh (impossible to find in today’s fashion) and shirts not covering their shoulder blades. These restrictions are made so that “distractions” are limited. Translation: these restrictions are made so that rights are limited. While young boys are not necessarily taught to rape, these regulations teach young children that it is more important for males to be educated than it is for females to be able to express themselves and also receive that same right. Blaming clothing for the way women are treated is also a double edged sword. Stroll through the girl’s section at any department store and you’ll see shirts screen printed with phrases demeaning women and declaring male dependence even at ages as young as infants. In the women’s department, clothing is tight, skimpy, and revealing. The girls’ clothing department is more problematic in the issue as the clothing is often purchased by parents and guardians and the traditionalized “values” continue unintentionally: parents see these demeaning clothes as “cute” or funny without recognizing the things their children are learning. In the women’s department adults are free to choose their own outfits and if revealing clothing is what a woman chooses to wear she doesn’t need a reason. If a woman decides to walk around the city naked, she isn’t asking to be raped any more than a man is asking to be raped as he walks to work in the morning. The phrase “asking to be raped” has been adopted as a way to tell women that their clothes are too revealing; however, the idea behind rape is that NO ONE is asking for it as rape is forced. Due to the double standard placed on women, sexuality is a very confusing concept for teenage girls and young adult women. As Allison Reynolds said in the film The Breakfast Club, “If you say you haven’t, you’re a prude. If you say you have you’re a slut. It’s a trap. You want to but you can’t, and when you do you wish you didn’t, right?” The word “slut” is thrown at women everywhere: daily. The women jabbed with this slur are not just the brave few that refuse to be held down by social boundaries, but also women who simply get dressed in the morning. The women who stand up for and fight for these equal rights and equal treatment are given a bad name: feminists, feminazis. The bad air around this word is placed there by the individuals who aim to leave things “the way it’s always been.” Societies idea that feminists are overzealous extremists is dumbfounding because, regardless of age, ethnicity, and gender, shouldn’t everyone respect themselves enough to desire equal rights from one person to the next? Shouldn’t everyone be a feminist?

144

Chapter Ten

Reflection #2: Exploring the role of literacy education in addressing sexism I noticed that, after our presentations and discussions of language and the use thereof, my classmates, who had experienced the same things I had as a female in terms of the English vocabulary vicariously through the stories shared via my presentation and those similar, were more aware of the words and phrases that other students used as well. The students who now understood the impact of these words and phrases began using them less if not bringing them to complete cessation. This was the case at least during class, and around those of us who shared our negative experiences with these words and provided reasoning and explanations as to why these words were actually rather offensive. I was shocked at how effective this assignment was in that direction, at least on the small scale of that group of students. However, after the word assignment was completed, I found myself noticing the use of these words more and more often. These words littered a campus that I had once seen as a social sanctuary for anyone and everyone: we were all in this together, right? If that was the case, then how could the students I related so much with allow these words to exist on our campus? Unfortunately, for the most part, that’s just the way it is. Since I have since finished the required composition classes for my degree, I have yet to have another opportunity to explore issues similar to this. This leads me to wonder if students on other campuses are even offered the opportunity in the first place or if others are even aware that the use of these words has the impact that they do. It is one thing to be able to write about this particular issue in class and another to be able to take the things discovered in your research and bring it out into the lives of those surrounding you. Even today, feminism is frowned upon by most males and even a lot of females. Through my research for another composition assignment, I found this to be because a lot of people who are against feminism see it not as an equality movement, but a movement organized by man-hating women who want to rule the world. I have found myself explaining that that kind of radicalism is not actually feminism. And, even after explaining this concept, a lot of people still have negative feelings toward the movement. I have since become involved mentoring young women, with feminism being a strong influence in the work I do. It is my ultimate goal to help these younger women to realize that throwing “like a girl” isn’t a bad thing. There are many badass women involved in sports that rely on the woman’s ability to throw things well. The term “like a girl” in and of

Speaking Up, Acting Out

145

itself, teaches young girls and boys that being a girl is something to be ashamed about. This is the same case for phrases like “dumb blond.” This particular phrase teaches blonds, mostly women, that if they’re blond, then it is expected of them to be unintelligent. The words “whore” and “slut” teach young women that exploring their sexuality is wrong while young men the same age should be commended for the same thing. And, the word “bossy” only being used to describe young girls during play instead of young boys who exhibit the same behaviors, is an outrage. In the business world it is perfectly acceptable for a man to be aggressive and “bossy” because he is expected to, by gender norms, be a boss. However, women are expected to simply go with the flow, do what they’re told, and not ask too many questions. Not only does this negatively impact the development of these young women and girls, but it teaches males that this kind of label is acceptable and reinforces gender norms and the patriarchy. Who knew that one little word could have such a large impact on young women and girls, and even impact their male counterparts? I believe in one of my essays I compared words like these to calling someone ugly every day of their lives. If you tell someone something enough times and you have enough influence over that person, they will begin to believe what you are telling them for themselves. When I was a little girl, I was called bossy and told I couldn’t play the sports I did because they were “boy sports.” Luckily for me, I played the sports anyway because I loved them. However, it wasn’t until after the assignment in my entry level composition class that I finally realized that being bossy isn’t a bad thing. In fact, my bossiness sets me up pretty well for the future I hope to have in the business world. Some young ladies aren’t as lucky as I was and I hope to have some impact on these young women so that these words and phrases don’t.

Conclusion We are committed to creating a space whereby students and faculty can engage in the process of careful and reflective dialogue. Oftentimes, representations of our classrooms are seen through our individual lenses. This limited view can certainly affect the extent to which we truly make an impact outside of the classroom. In addition, we believe that there is a power in extending the work that we do inside the classroom, beyond the classroom. What does it mean, for example, to provide opportunities for students to publish work that impacts a real audience? How can we continue to create opportunities for students to engage in learning practices

146

Chapter Ten

that expand their identities, and empower them to address social inequalities beyond the semester? It is important to note that we do not assume that including a series of reflections about one student’s experiences in a course produces substantial evidence for classroom activities and assignments. Instead, we argue that the process of engaging with students—both inside and outside of the classroom—is a productive strategy to greatly enhance our pedagogies. This is especially crucial as we try to address the implicit or tacit ways that different types of oppression operate in our lives, as well as in the lives of our students. As collaborators, we wanted to end this chapter with some useful strategies for using the classroom and the space to bring about significant changes in cultural attitudes around individuals. As hooks (1989) suggests, “The struggle to end domination, the individual struggle to resist colonialization, to move from object to subject, is expressed in the effort to establish a liberatory voice—that way of speaking that is no longer determined by one’s status as object—as oppressed being” (15). Thus, we believe that the process of collaboration with students—rather than speaking about and/or for students—provides a rich context for both educators and students alike to assess the usefulness of classroom practices. We include the following recommendations: 1. Challenge students to dig a little deeper than the surface of an issue and seek to understand similar issues that may not affect them specifically. Introducing opportunities for students to ask thoughtful questions about topics of interest will challenge students to become more critical and establish expertise early on in their academic careers. 2. Get people outside of the class involved, as well as involve the class outside. That is, create something within the class that carries outward and causes continuation of the discussion in a real world way. Providing opportunities to work with students outside of the classroom demonstrates real world application that may not be as visible in the classroom space. Many universities have outreach projects, and engage in campus collaboration through both servicelearning and community-engagement projects. Take the time to work with students and faculty to garner interests and identify potential spaces for exploration and activism.

Speaking Up, Acting Out

147

3. Create relationships with students. Cultivating relationships with students beyond a traditional teacherstudent binary is tricky and requires opportunities where students can express different elements of their identities. Further, teachers should create similar conditions where students see multiple areas of their professional identities and commitments. 4. Create opportunities for students and faculty to critically examine their everyday lives, and to explore how language relates to both thought and action. Examining the effects of popular culture on our everyday lives is a significant tool for political change. We suggest dialogue rather than dismissal of the role of popular culture in shaping our thoughts and actions. To that end, we propose forums and collaborations outside of the traditional classroom settings where students and faculty alike can explore how their everyday uses of language shapes realities.

References Boler, Megan. Democratic Dialogue in Education. New York: Peter Lang, 2004. "Promiscuous." Merriam-Webster, nd. Accessed October 4, 2016. http://www.merriamwebster.com/dictionary/promiscuous "Slut." Merriam-Webster, nd Accessed October 4, 2016. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/slut. Young, Lauren. "Slut Shaming": Why We Should Be Shaming the Word “Slut” Instead." Candor News, nd. Accessed October 4, 2016,. https://candornews.wordpress.com/2014/06/13/slut-shaming-why-weshould-be-shaming-the-word-slut-instead/. Freire, Paulo. Pedagogy of the Oppressed. 30th Anniversary Edition. New York: Continuum, 2001. Hooks, bell. Talking Back: Thinking Feminist, Thinking Black. Boston: South End Press, 1998. Kumashiro, Kevin. Troubling Education. New York: Routledge, 2012. Mohanty, Chandra. Feminist Without Borders: Decolonizing Theory, Practicing Solidarity. Durham: Duke University Press, 2003.

CHAPTER ELEVEN THE ECO AND EGO MOTIVATIONS IN COMMUNICATION BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN LUCIA KLENCAKOVA1

We live in an era that requires us to validate our ego. What I think of myself and what others think of me became more important than how we can improve the bigger picture for everyone. The ego is a set of beliefs and routines to protect or inflate self-image; ego-motivated individuals choose to ‘perform’ to fit the ideal, to be perceived as an idol and validate the self, which in turn further breeds the ego (Ventegodt and Merrick 2014). “I care about you because we have history” says a male partner to his expartner. She responds with silence. “You are rude because you do not tell me you care.”

Is that so? Is the silent partner rude, or is the expressive partner simply trying to look good so that he would validate his ego by confirming that he is the good person and she is not? Ego-motivated individuals tend to act in destructive or self-defeating ways; they often become isolated because the purpose of their lives becomes protecting the self from rejection, humiliation and criticism, which increases the fear of connecting with others and 1

I would like to thank the wonderful faculty at Barry University for the support I received; in particular, I would like to thank Dr. Nickesia Gordon for giving me the opportunity to be part of this project and Dr. Margaret Chojnacki who has always motivated me but also inspired me academically. I would also like to express appreciation to my loving family, especially my sister and my mother, and my best friend Lenka for always believing in me. Finally, I would like to thank the Language Department at Manchester Metropolitan University for showing me the beauty of learning and languages.

The Eco and Ego Motivations in Communication

149

fosters anxiety (Crocker, Garcia and Nuer 2011). Being continuously concerned with self, what others think of me, how do I look, am I liked, makes it impossible to be fully present in the moment; my experiences become focused on myself and I will lose the connection with others. Our culture of gender inequality is also highly ego-motivated and undermines self-esteem; it increases resentment between individuals and is hazardous to a relationship (Kim et al. 2012, Rosenblatt 2009). Have you ever heard a man who is not threatened by a woman say that she is less than him, or she deserves lower pay? The answer is no. Even beauty standards are ego-oriented because they originate from social oppression. Beauty ideals that do not exist, especially those portrayed in media, increase self-monitoring, anxiety, and fear of criticism among both men and women, and cause them to foster low self-esteem (Cavico, Muffler and Mujtaba 2012, Montemurro and Gillen 2013). How many times did we, ladies, compare ourselves to a female colleague, declaring ourselves a victim because she is taller or better looking according to standards that no one even knows their origin. We feel threatened by that person’s beauty, charm, intelligence and so on, and suddenly, without even giving her a chance, our attitude towards that person becomes fearful and we are prepared to fight. Maybe one day, we are lucky to meet her at lunch, we sit and talk, and we open ourselves to a possibility that she is not a threat. Perhaps, she tells us she doesn’t like her hair, skin, or legs. Do we feel compassionate? Are we vulnerable? Do we share experiences? And how does it change or impact our world? Ego not only causes people to act as victims but also performers. We engage in impression management on daily basis, however, when taken to extreme, Machiavellianism, behaving manipulatively to reach desired goals through deception, is highly ego-oriented (DuBrin 2009). Many times, those who try to manipulate make us feel inadequate, make us think we are the problem and we need to change, but the truth is, they feel insecure. Religious fundamentalism, that is, strict adherence to the basic principles, still believes that inequality is natural, and that control over the female body is necessary, just as sexist thinking highlights appearance as the sole value of females (Hooks 2015). Essentially, the whole concept of omnipresent patriarchy is ego-oriented. Is it, again, because we feel threatened that we need to make other people feel subordinate? People concerned with their ego are often emotionally labile, inflexible, and lack confidence; in extreme cases, they foster antisocial behaviors, are aggressive and unable to maintain normally functioning relationships (Ventegodt and Merrick 2014). In extreme cases, such as sociopathsmurderers, we can observe the same patterns of behaviors; these people

150

Chapter Eleven

want to hurt because they have no empathy. They hurt because they had been hurt or they simply want to feel pleasure while causing pain to another human being; this type of behavior is ego-motivated. What does all of this teach us about healthy communication?

How to bring about the change? On the other hand, if a person is able to overcome the fear of losing ego, s/he can fully enjoy the connection with others that allows him or her to contribute to the society, empower and support others, and grow intellectually and spiritually; s/he will become fully aware of the world larger than the self (Crocker, Garcia and Nuer 2011). In terms of communication, this ego-less state is called the communication ecosystem. The ecosystem is a network where everyone is part of a bigger picture, and people attend to each other’s needs just as much as to their own; no more victimhood, fear-based thoughts, or feelings of being judged or misunderstood (Littlejohn and Domenici 2007). In fact, we can even think about this as the food chain, the ecosystem where bigger fish eats smaller fish, if you will. Everyone is part of a bigger picture; every living organism is put on this planet to fulfil its destiny. It is not that a leopard is better because it can catch a gazelle and eat it; the leopard needs to eat and so it gets food, and the gazelle is simply fulfilling its destiny. For us, ego is the survival instinct. But if we can see ourselves as part of the bigger picture, we become part of the ecosystem, all here to serve a certain purpose in this world; no human better than the other, we are all here to do the same thing – fulfil our destiny. Eco-oriented individuals are flexible, confident and accepting of constructive criticism as a way to learn something new; further, they are positive, mindful and effortless in making and maintaining connections with others (Ventegodt and Merrick 2014). There are people who genuinely have great energy; those people are the ones that somehow make you feel good. Positive communication reinforces that good-feel energy (Mirivel 2014). “How are you, professor?” I am good, sweetie, how are you?

Can you sense the difference between I’m good, and being called a nice nickname by someone who is part of your world, your ecosystem? A person you don’t really know but you meet him or her on regular basis can also change your mood entirely, and that all can be done with positive

The Eco and Ego Motivations in Communication

151

communication, because positive communication is the bigger picture, the ecosystem. “Hey, how was your summer? I would hug you but I am wet [as it just rained outside].”

This energy can make you feel like you are part of something bigger than yourself. I was having a really bad day, but in that moment I knew that I impacted someone’s life enough to notice me, and during this day of my deepest desperation, this person simply offering a hug changed my world, made me smile, and made me realize how we are all surrounded by the beauty of the ecosystem. I felt important. A friend that I haven’t seen for a long time reminds me of good times we shared; he reminds me of the jokes we used to make. Another friend reminds me of the times I didn’t have money but we made a joke of unpacking food together and how we used to laugh about the situation. A girl friend of mine reminds me of times living in the UK serving tables and how much fun we had together laughing at simple little things, and how we used to share birthday moments together. We are all surrounded by the ecosystem, and it lies in simple statements that make you smile, the everyday pains that can be translated into shared suffering and understanding each other. Sometimes there are words, sometimes a simple look or touch; that is all ecosystem because you stop existing as one person in your own ego world, you become part of something bigger than just yourself. You share your humanity with others, and because you feel the connection, you support and encourage, and love. And you feel fulfilled. Ecosystem allows for personal growth and fosters self-development; eco-oriented individuals are compassionate and resilient, and prefer relational stability and harmony. Overall, they are well-adjusted individuals who speak with respect, support and empower others, don’t use verbal aggression, and welcome challenges (Klimstra 2013).

Ego and eco motivations, and language A suitable example of ego-system and ecosystem is Buber’s I-It and IThou relationship. An I-it represents a relationship in which an individual uses other people as means to an end; it is an egocentric system that revolves around validating one’s ego, a relationship that is detached, inflexible and isolating, and emotionally disengaged (Buber 1970). On the contrary, an I-Thou relationship is an ideal relationship of shared reality, where people do not treat each other as objects. Instead they participate

152

Chapter Eleven

mutually for everyone’s well-being, people are unified to reach satisfying goals, they reciprocate each other’s willingness to learn, exhibit love and acceptance of diversity (Buber 1970). It can be assumed that ego-oriented individuals are prone to persuading others to agree with their points of view; the expectations and assertiveness allow these individuals to be great leaders because they are highly competitive, however, it also isolates them from others due to their extreme ambitiousness. On the other hand, ecomotivated individuals tend to reach their goals via cooperation and collective work. They, too, can be great leaders. Let’s imagine that there are two people from two completely different cultures trying to resolve an issue. Would ecosystem-driven relationships resolve, for instance, timing differences in two dissimilar cultures? Literature on romantic relationships always reminds us that our partner is not an enemy, even though in times of arguments, we tend to perceive him or her as one. We can assume, however, that if both people had relationship wellbeing in mind, their language would also be focused on resolving differences, negotiating and finding mutually satisfying solution. Eco-driven partners would openly discuss expectations because ecosystem is about cooperation, and communication between these two people would possibly translate into smiles, a warm touch, and negotiation and collaboration-like statements. Would this conversation be more affectionate than ego-oriented communication that would seem uncomfortable, angry, and defensive? Maddock (1993), in his article about relational dialectics, explained that dialectic in functioning ecosystems is viewed as a period of transformation, not a threat. For instance, in marriage, one partner’s behavior will affect the other partner, so in order to be in a happy marriage, both partners will have to find a way to deal with differences of opinions (Maddock 1993). Both of these partners themselves will belong to larger ecosystems, like families, work collectives or other social circles, and all of these ecosystems have to deal with multiple perspectives in order to maintain balance and harmony. Maddock (1993) emphasized the importance of the relationship between humans and their environments; he highlighted that all members have to be autonomous, not self-sacrificing, and maintain their identity to achieve personal goals in order to sustain the overall balance (Maddock 1993). However, everyone should take other members’ feelings into consideration, and be open-minded and acceptable; that way, a strong connection will be preserved and satisfaction will be experienced. In fact, the ecosystem cannot function well if the fear of manipulation, oppression or punishment exists (Hooks 2015, Maddock 1993). Thus, individuals need to pay attention to the other person’s intentions and communicate

The Eco and Ego Motivations in Communication

153

openly to find mutually satisfying solutions. When we feel understood and heard, we are likely to encourage, we try to understand other people’s experiences, we try to support and help. Isn’t this really what we all seek in life? To be understood, and to feel that we are an important part of other people’s lives. Research further shows that negative communication fosters relational negativity that stops us from creating and maintaining valuable connections with others (Buller and Burgoon 1994, Mirivel 2014, Szymanska 2012). Negative communication outcomes can result in dysfunctional relationships with others, limited resources, and reinforcement of negative self-image (Crocker, Garcia and Nuer 2011, Jung and Hecht 2004, Ventegodt and Merrick 2014). As Mirivel (2014) suggests in his book The Art of Positive Communication, the purpose of our lives should be to influence and inspire. “He put his arm around me… and he said: Randy, it’s such a shame that people perceive you as arrogant because it’s going to limit what you’re going to be able to accomplish in life.” (149)

In this quote, he is saying that being perceived as arrogant will not get us far in life. Keeping the quote in mind, I would like to demonstrate how language affects the conversational outcome. Here is the same scenario with positive and negative communication: let’s imagine two students in one classroom, both wish to sit in the same seat. The first student walks in and does not hold the door for the other student. S/he sits in the seat and stares at others arrogantly, or is perceived that way because s/he lacks positive facial expression. The other student comes along and says, “I always sit here, get out.” The outcome could be an argument, an unfriendly atmosphere in the classroom, and some badmouthing perhaps. Now, what if the first student walks in and holds the door for the second student, then sits at the seat. The second student who is used to that seat says “I always sit here.” Could the conversation outcome change? Could the second student offer the first one to stay in his or her preferred seat, or offer to sit close to one another and become study buddies? How about if the first student smiles and says “I am new here, I did not know this was your seat.” Perhaps, they make a connection and become good friends? The scenario did not change, it is still two students wanting to sit in the same seat, it is the way they approach each other that changed the outcome.

154

Chapter Eleven

How do genders communicate versus how is gender communicated? I often ponder if the “male ego” is in any way connected to the communication motivation; in other words, do ego and ecosystem have any relevance to gender? Or is the assertion that men are more egooriented solely an assumption that stems from observations in the business world or a workplace in general? Is it too much to point out that women tend to be more open-minded, supportive, less argumentative and interruptive than men? (Tannen 1990) It is a well-known fact that both men and women use different ways to approach one another. Research had already established that men are assertive, individualistic, and they interrupt more; the main purpose of man’s conversation is to exert dominance, achieve tangible results, and an argument is a crucial negotiation of his status (Hailin 2014; Merchant 2012; Subon 2013;Tannen 1990). Women, in contrast, work to enhance social connection and create a bond, are inclusive of others and more socioemotional (Merchant 2012; Tannen 1990). Because of these differences in communication styles, genders often clash when trying to communicate (Skube 2007). But is this always the way? Gender aside, can we simply change the way we approach people? If we state “men and women in conversation clash because of communication style,” can we assume that who we are is not really interfering with how we choose to speak to other people? Why is gender such a big part of our lives? Why does it matter whether we speak to a man or a woman, why don’t we just speak to a person, a human being? Taking the LGBT community into consideration, would communication style vary from individual to individual or can the same pattern be observed in male-female conversation? The reason why I ask this question is because I strongly believe that our communication style is an individual choice, and so is our motivation to speak with eco or ego in mind. I support the idea that our core beliefs stop changing after a certain age, although they could be altered if we suffer a trauma or something dramatic changes our life; for example, I am a feminist and I have always been one, this will never change, but I also grew up among people whose beliefs seemed a little ridiculous at times. I had to find out on my own with whom I disagreed. Could it be that our society teaches us unhealthy ways of communicating with each other, in particular highlighting male as superior and female as inferior? Communication style has nothing to do with how gender is communicated in our society, yet, it is often attributed to gender roles and stereotypes. We often hear, he is assertive, thus, a great leader, or

The Eco and Ego Motivations in Communication

155

she is too emotional, therefore she could not lead a team effectively. Due to gender stereotypes, women had often been referred to as the weaker gender, which in return produced the submission of females (Kim, Edwards, Sweeney and Wetchler 2012). But why is being emotional such a big issue? Emotions do not force us to act on how we feel, emotions allow us to be understanding and grow (Coleman 2013). Don’t we all want to feel adequate in relationships with family members, partners, or work colleagues? Why do we always put on a mask and pretend to be better than the next person we meet? Why do we have to mask our vulnerability, and why does our society teach us that we have to be ego-oriented so that the person next to us wouldn’t have the opportunity to hurt us? Research also shows that unequal power is detrimental to the relationship (Kim et al. 2012). So why do we think it is alright for us to walk through life not seeking connection but seeking to manipulate and make people like us by telling them what to do, how to do it and that our way is the best way? In the communication ecosystem, men would not accept that a woman hasn’t got the same rights because it is all about being equal and then translating it to your speech. From a personal standpoint, a concern of one’s appearance or the way he or she is perceived always overshadows the importance of connecting with others. But the moment we open ourselves to the possibility that the person sitting next to us is supposed to enrich our lives, we not only connect but we also gain a new insight. Other people come into our lives to give us a message, to teach us something important about life or ourselves, why fight it by overlooking the importance of that message in meeting that particular person. And why do we all never trust people who come into our lives? We are growing up in a society that makes us scared of trusting other people. A friend of mine once raised a point about colorblind society; she said that as an African-American mother of a son she fears if he comes back home every night because of the issues happening in America right now. A girl of Hispanic descent commented: “I don’t understand. I don’t feel the same way.” “But just because it isn’t happening to you doesn’t mean that the issue isn’t there.”

That is how I learned about what racism means to me, and how I want to think about it from now on. And that goes for every other issue that I encounter in life; how do I want to think about the experiences of other

156

Chapter Eleven

people to better understand what they are going through?

So, is there a correlation between ego and gender? Research is divided on the issue of egocentric males and cooperative females; it seems that some researchers support the idea that males are more ego-oriented, especially in terms of expressiveness, authority, and status (Bursik 1995; Maculada 2007); others believe it is females who prefer to satisfy their own ego before attending to anyone else’s needs (Bailey 2009). I wonder how can our motivations ever be correlated with being male or female? Both being ecosystem or ego-oriented simply means to be human, thus, it becomes our personal choice as soon as we are aware of the two. However, it could be that some cultures that give preference to males could have higher percentages of ego-motivations in conversation between men and women; could it be that some cultures indicating high ego-motivation consist of less cooperative or even more violent individuals? I have to go back to the core beliefs; if one grows up being educated about gender inequality as something that is natural, it will be more difficult for individual to understand that it is not alright. But social change can happen despite cultural differences because ecosystem is about circle where everybody has a destiny to fulfil. We all benefit from being part of that circle, not just one person, everyone. The purpose of this chapter was to raise awareness about communication style and how it relates to our motivations. I wanted to explain the communication ecosystem in a way that would be understandable and to which people could relate. I recommend that we all stop for a minute, and think about the motivations that we bring to conversations with others. I imagine the ecosystem to be a genuine communication style that creates a positive vibe and open-minded atmosphere. We can start by being genuine and honest, supportive of equality and accepting of differences; we can still tell others how we feel without hurting them because we are aware of the words we use. We can reach our goals without coercing, taking advantage, or manipulating. The ecosystem is changing the style of language and including the other person in the wellbeing process. We cannot always please everyone, there may be times when someone gets hurt, but that is not our intention; if we do not wish to be part of someone’s plan, we ought to discuss it. And perhaps most important of all, we should learn to listen. In fact, the ecosystem would be a solution encouraging social change; everyone benefits from working towards a mutual goal, there are no sacrifices in the communication ecosystem, we teach and allow others to teach us without putting our defense wall up.

The Eco and Ego Motivations in Communication

157

You can start with small gestures to make this world a better place. One day, while shopping for food, I was consumed by worries about finances; on my way out, I got stopped by a homeless man. He asked me for money. I couldn’t give him money because I didn’t have any. I offered him some bread and an apple. He took it, but for the first time in my life I didn’t feel anything. Normally, I would feel really great about myself or I would feel proud for doing something special. A friend who was there with me that day said that it was a really nice gesture; I did not stop for a second to think about how that made me feel. What made me proud, however, was the realization about a week later that for once I forgot me and my ego by doing something that felt natural to me. I created an opportunity for the ecosystem to happen to me. I, for the first time in my life, mastered the communication ecosystem by smiling at someone, wishing them a good day, and sharing bread with another human being. And the reason was nothing other than helping someone in need without thinking about myself and how that would impact me. This is what the ecosystem means to me. To conclude, here is a little quote that I believe is great to understand what healthy communication means: “I must do these things in order to communicate: Become aware of you (discover you). Make you aware of me (uncover myself). Be ready to change during our conversation. And be willing to reveal my changes to you.” —Hugh Prather, 19701

References Bailey, Carrie Lynn. “An Examination of the Relationships Between Ego Development, Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Sisintegration, and the Behavioral Characteristics of Gifted Adolescents.” Doctoral dissertation, The College of William and Mary, 2009. Bursik, Krisanne. “Gender-related PersonalityTraits and Ego Development: Differential Patterns for Men and Women.” Sex Roles 32(1995): 601615. Buber, Martin. I and Thou. New York: Charles Scribner & Sons, 1970. Buller, David and Burgoon, Judee. “Deception: Strategic and Nonstrategic Communication.” In Strategic Interpersonal Communication, edited by John Daly and John Wiemann, 191- 223. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 1994. Cavico, Frank, Muffler, Stephen, and Mujtaba, Bahaudin. “Appearance Discrimination, ‘Lookism’ and ‘Lookphobia’ in the Workplace.” The Journal of Applied Business Research 28(2012): 791- 801.

158

Chapter Eleven

Coleman, Martin. “Emotion and the Ultimate Attribution Error.” Current Psychology 32(2013): 71-81. Crocker, Jennifer, Garcia, Julie A., and Nuer, Noah. “From Egosystem to Ecosystem in Intergroup Interactions: Implications for Intergroup Reconciliation.”In The Social Psychology of Intergroup Reconciliation, edited by Arie Nadler, Thomas Malloy, and Jeffrey. Fisher, 171- 194. New York: Oxford University Press, 2008. DuBrin, Andrew. Individual and Organizational Contributing Factors. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications, 2009. Hailin, Liu. “Will foreign language proficiency guarantee you a good date?” Cross-Cultural Communication 10(2014): 135-138. hooks, bell. Feminism is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. New York: Routledge, 2015. Jung, Eura and Hecht, Michael. “Elaborating the Communication Theory of Identity: Identity Gaps and Communication Outcomes.” Communication Quarterly 52(2004): 265- 283. Kim, Hyejin, Edwards, Anne, Sweeney, Kathryn, and Wetchler, Joseph. “The Effects of Differentiation and Attachment on Satisfaction and Acculturation in Asian-White American International Couple Relationships: Assessment with Chinese, South Korean, and Japanese Partners in Relationships with White American Partners in the United States.” The American Journal of Family Therapy 40(2012): 320-335. Klimstra, Theo. “Adolescent Personality Development and Identity Formation.” Child Development Perspectives 7(2013): 80- 84. Littlejohn, Stephen and Domenici, Kathy. Communication, Conflict, and the Management of Difference. Long Grove, IL: Waveland Press, 2007. Maculada, Sharon. “Gender Differences in Task and Ego Goal Orientation and Motivation in Sport Participation.” The Philippine Journal of Psychology 40(2007): 123- 135. Maddock, James. “Ecological Dialectics: An Approach to Family Theory Construction,” Family Science Review 6(1993): 137- 161. Merchant, Karima. How Men and Women Differ: Gender Differences in Communication Styles, Influence Tactics, and Leadership Styles. Master’s thesis, McKenna College, 2012. Mirivel, Julien. The Art of Positive Communication. NY: Peter Lang Publishing, 2014. Montemurro, Beth and Gillen, Meghan. “How Clothes Make the Woman Immoral: Impressions Given Off by Sexualized Clothing.” Clothing and Textiles Research Journal 31(2013): 167- 181.

The Eco and Ego Motivations in Communication

159

Skube, Daneen. Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, about Anything. Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 2007. Subon, Frankie. “Gender Differences in the Use of Linguistic Forms in the Speech of Men and Women in the Malaysian Context.” Journal of Humanities and Social Science 13(2013): 67-79. Szymanska, Agnieszka. “Parental Directiveness as a Predictor of Children’s Behavior at Kindergarten.” Psychology of Language and Communication 16(2012): 213- 236. Tannen, Deborah. You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York: William Morrow and Company, 1990. Ventegodt, Soren and Merrick, Joav. “Significance of Self-image and Identity in Youth Development.” International Journal of Child and Adolescent Health 7(2014): 199- 209.

SECTION THREE: GENDER AND INSTITUTIONS

CHAPTER TWELVE DISCUSSING AND DISMANTLING RAPE CULTURE WITH COLLEGE STUDENTS LAURA FINLEY

This chapter examines sexual assault on college campuses. In doing so, it draws on the literature related to rape culture and rape myths. Student reflections are included to demonstrate how students understand and communicate about these issues. The chapter also provides an overview and critique of typical campus responses to sexual assault allegations and prevention programs, then concludes with a description of best practices accumulated by scholars and activists as well as recommendations from college students.

Defining the problem The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) defines sexual violence as “sexual activity when consent is not obtained or freely given” (Sexual Violence 2015). The U.S. Department of Justice uses a slightly different definition: “any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient.” Sexual activities that fall under this definition include forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape” (Sexual Violence 2015). It is clear that sexual assault is shockingly prevalent, with a sexual assault occurring every 107 seconds in the U.S according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) (Statistics nd). College women are particularly at risk for experiencing sexual assault, with rates three times higher than the general population (Rich, Utley, Janke and Moldoveanu 2010). Some 80 percent of rapes and sexual victimizations of persons ages 18 to 24 are never reported to police (Bates 2016), suggesting that official statistics dramatically under-represent the actual scope of the problem. In discussing the prevalence of campus sexual assault, one student wrote to the Everyday Sexism Project: “It’s not a

Discussing and Dismantling Rape Culture with College Students

163

common experience, it’s an inevitable one. I don’t know any girls at university who hasn’t been touched or groped without their consent. I also don’t know any girl at university who would consider it assault or report it” (Bates 2016, 135). A male student reported being given printed “rules” when he joined the lacrosse team, which included “Members don’t date— that’s what rape is for” (Bates 2016, 140). Some 50 percent of college rapes involve alcohol (Abbey 2002), and women who report drinking more also report higher incidences of attempted and completed rape (Benson et al. 2007). Anderson et al. (2005) found that males were more likely to report that they would take sexual advantage of someone who had been consuming large quantities of alcohol. Data also shows that fraternity and athletic team members are more likely to commit sexual assault than males in the general student population (Humphrey and Kahn 2000). When compared with general female undergraduates, sorority women are three times more likely to experience sexual assault (Mohler-Kuo, Dowdall, Koss, and Wechsler 2004). Specifically, Minow and Einolf (2009) found that 33% of sorority women had been raped and 14% experienced attempted rape compared with 8% and 6% of non-sorority women, respectively. These rates were still significantly higher even when researchers controlled for alcohol consumption and Greek-hosted party attendance (Minow and Einolf 2009). Many have squabbled with the statistics that have been widely disseminated about rape on campuses, asserting that they are exaggerations at least, if not fictions created by feminists to push a particular agenda. Critics like Katie Roiphe and Camille Paglia argue that unwanted sexual activity when one or both parties is intoxicated shouldn’t be included, since at one point the individual agreed (barring a few exceptions) to become intoxicated, thus it was a choice. But, as Orenstein (2016) notes, two reports that were released in 2015 should have made it clear that these criticisms were off base. The Association of American Universities’ Campus Climate Survey, which included more than 150,000 students, found that a third of female undergraduate respondents had been victims of nonconsensual sexual contact. Sociologists Jessie Ford and Paula England conducted an analysis of assault rates among seniors who had participated in the Online College Social Life Survey, focusing solely on intercourse or attempted intercourse, rather than other types of unwanted touching or coercion. Ten percent of the respondents said they had been physically forced to have sex since starting college and 15 percent said that someone had tried to physically force them, but that the attempt was unsuccessful. Eleven percent reported unwanted intercourse when they

164

Chapter Twelve

were either asleep, passed drunk, or otherwise incapacitated. One quarter of the respondents reported at least one of those things happening during their college years. So, “including the types of assaults while intoxicated that Roiphe, Paglia, Sommers, and their supporters (if not the criminal justice system) reject, that brings us back to one in four” (Orenstein 2016, 176-77). One part of the problem is that the way the U.S. has generally taught young people about sexual health, in particular in the last three decades, has focused largely on abstinence. Abstinence-only education routinely reinforces the sexual dominance of men, as studies have found that girls are often described as being submissive and their virginity being akin to a commodity (Filipovic 2008, 16). Filipovic (2008) explains, sex and sexuality are generally discussed using traditional binary definitions of gender, so “Female sexuality is portrayed as passive, while male sexuality is aggressive. Sex itself is constructed around both the penis and male pleasure—male/female intercourse begins when a man penetrates a woman’s vagina with his penis, and ends when he ejaculates. Penetration is the key element of sex, with the man imaged as the passive, receptive partner. And sex is further painted a something that men do to women, instead of as a mutual act between two equally powerful actors” (18).

In addition to the view that women are to be passive recipients of sex, they are also “thought of as living in inherently tempting bodies, and using those bodies to cause men to fall. These two myths—the passive woman and the tempting woman—have been used to justify the social control of half the population for centuries” (Filipovic 2008, 18). Millar (2008) critiques what he calls the commodity model of sex. Sex as commodity means that women are expected to be the givers and men the takers, “which is key to at least one family of rape-supportive ideas (Millar 2008, 35-36). Because men are still taught that aggressiveness equals manliness, rape “is often justified through references to nature and evolutionary biology. It further bleeds over into the sexual sphere, wherein men are expected to be aggressive sexual actors attempting to ‘get’ sex from passive women who both hold and embody sex itself” (Filipovic 2008, 19). Abstinence-only sexual education pays no attention to male’s volition in that, through its’ “just say no” messaging, it does nothing to address when those “nos” are ignored (Perry 2008). Riggs (2008) refers to the U.S. as a “sex-negative” culture, or

Discussing and Dismantling Rape Culture with College Students

165

“a culture that values the lives, bodies, and pleasure of men (and in particular white, middle or upper-class, heterosexual men without disabilities) above those of women and transgendered people, and promotes shame about sexual desire, particularly female or queer desire. Sex-negative culture teaches us that pleasure is sinful and provides us with narrow scripts for appropriate sexual encounters. Conversely, a sexpositive culture would use the presence of consent as the only requirement for acceptable sexual encounters and encourage the interrogation of or playing with power and control. Sex-negativity teaches us that sex is not to be spoken of. This directly shapes the aftermath of sexual assault, in which survivors are shamed and discouraged from talking openly about their experience. Rape is not taboo because it is violence; it is taboo because sex is the weapon of violence” (110).

Orenstein (2016) interviewed more than seventy young women ages 15 to 20 to discuss gender and sexuality. She found that their understanding of healthy sexual relationships skewed heavily toward making men happy. “Young women grow up in a porn-saturated, image-centered, commercialized culture in which ‘empowerment’ is just a feeling, consumption trumps connection, ‘hot’ is an imperative, fame is the ultimate achievement, and the quickest way for a woman to get ahead is to serve up her body before someone else does” (Orenstein 2016, 40-41). The girls discussed that giving someone oral sex was fairly mundane; not a task they particularly enjoyed, but more like a chore they performed because they think they are supposed to and one that they, wrongly, of course, see as not-risky. Girls shared that the young men make them feel guilty if they do nothing sexually, so oral sex is seen as a concession. Rarely did the girls describe receiving oral sex in return, and the few that did tended not to see it as enjoyable. “The concern with pleasing, as opposed to pleasure, was pervasive” (Orenstein 2016, 55). Perry (2008) argued similarly, noting, “My friends and I learned quickly that our sexuality was to be characterized by action, control, and achievement—certainly, familiar themes to us by the time we hit puberty. We ascertained that sexuality is tied to a boy’s ability to play and win the get-some game. Sexual violence may be one of many inevitable negative outcomes in this adversarial climate, which also gives rise to unwanted pregnancies, STIs, and an abundance of shitty sexual encounters that can unfavorably impact the way any of us experience sexuality in general. This game places special emphasis on boys’ learning to control every possible variable surrounding sexual interactions, and thereby send the clear message that sexuality should be expressed and enjoyed only in the context of a power dynamic” (200-201).

166

Chapter Twelve

Put simply, men seem to interpret “no” as a sign to try harder (Perry 2008). All of these social constructions result in a complicated sphere whereby both females and males struggle to determine what precisely constitutes consent, what is actually sexual assault, and how to be informed agents of their own sexual activity. Peterson (2008) describes what she calls the “not-rape” epidemic. By this she means all the unwanted sexual activity that women do not define as rape but that occurred on a daily basis. Many still use terms like “gray rape” or “true rape,” to supposedly draw lines between “actual” rape and rape that occurs when the situation or the people involved are less-than-perfect. Jervis (2008) comments about the term “gray rape,” noting it is little more than the same old arguments made by rape apologists, albeit in new packaging, “backlash is a little douchebag, and there are still people who think that women are ruining everything with our slutty, sexually aggressive, entitled-to-our-own-pleasure (gasp!) attitude, these folks are always in need of ammunition, both legal and conceptual. The fact that feminism’s battles are unfinished means that its all to enlist flat out lies—that consent to kissing means consent to more, or that one person’s drunkenness excuses another person’s criminal acts—in service of beating back new sexual mores, ones with the potential to free women from being punished just for wanting the full human experience of sexuality and sexual exploration. So they’ve gone and rebranded their old friend, dressing her in a new outfit in the hope of keeping women feeling good ‘n’ guilty about our sexuality and our desires, scared to stand up for ourselves and demand accountability for violence against us, scared to insist on acceptance of our sexuality on equal terms with men’s” (168).

Actual assault, as well as the ever-present threat of it, result in daily life changes for women. Women will often stop walking alone or will not venture into certain areas for fear of victimization. Many arm themselves with mace or even weapons. These are true of college women, who might also take fewer night classes, make fewer visits at night to the library, change their course schedules and even drop out due to fear of or actual victimization (Rozee and Koss 2001; Schwartz and DeKeseredy 1997).

Examining rape culture and rape myths Although there is not one specific definition of rape culture, the concept generally refers to the ways that male’s sexual domination of women is condoned, normalized, trivialized and even glorified through

Discussing and Dismantling Rape Culture with College Students

167

media, popular culture, and other means (Kacmerek and Geffre 2013). It starts with things like street harassment, which for most women is a routine occurrence. “…street harassment is perhaps the clearest manifestation of the spectrum of sexism, sexual harassment, and sexual assault that exists within our society. Yes, it starts out small, but allowing those ‘minor’ transgressions gives license to the more serious ones and eventually to all-out abuse. We’ve heard the same words and phrases crossing over and echoing and repeating from women who are shouted at in the street to women who are assaulted and women who are victims of domestic violence in their own homes. The language is the same. And if we say it’s acceptable for men to assume power and ownership over women they don’t know verbally in public, then, like it or not, we’re also saying something much wider about gender relations—something that carries over into our personal relationships and our sexual exchanges. Because this is a line that doesn’t need to be blurred” (Bates 2016, 167).

After being harassed by a group of male road workers, Bates (2016) observed: “Until that day, in summer 2008, it had never occurred to me that the convoluted routes and extra precautions, the changed clothes and hastily swept-up hair were anything other than ordinary. Planning strategies to get through the day with the least possible exposure to unwanted attention and harassment was simply a part of being a woman that I accepted, as much of a necessary routine as carrying a spare tampon in my purse” (163). Bates (2016) started the Everyday Sexism project to capture the stories of young women who are harassed and discriminated against on a daily basis. She was amazed at the outpouring of stories that were “so niggling and normalized that to protest each one felt petty. Yet put them together and the picture created by this mosaic of miniatures was strikingly clear. This inequality, this pattern of casual intrusion whereby women could be leered at, touched, harassed, and abused without a second thought, was sexism; implicit, explicit, commonplace, and deep-rooted, pretty much everywhere you’d care to look” (2-3).

Yet she received the same response when she shared those stories: “Sexism doesn’t exist anymore. Women are equal now, more or less. You career girls these days have the best of all worlds—what more do you want? Think about the women in other countries dealing with real problems…” (3).

168

Chapter Twelve

When women express concern about continued inequalities, they are often dismissed as “PMSing.” Or, they are silenced through the general acceptance that sexism is a normal part of life. Another silencing tool is humor. All too often, sexist comments and even actions are dubbed jokes or banter, and when women complain, they are denounced as humorless (Bates 2016). When they refuse to be silenced, females and male feminists face repercussions. Harding (2008) shared the heinous comments she and other female bloggers receive when they discuss sexual assault. “You should consider yourself lucky that some man finds a hideous troll like yourself rape-able. That’s an actual comment left on the blog of a friend of mine, in response to a post she wrote about being raped and nearly killed. Every feminist blogger with more than four reads has dealt with comments along these lies. There are certain people who feel it’s their sacred duty to inform us. again and again, that rape is a compliment. (Or, more precisely, ‘Rape is a compliment, you stupid whore’). Rape is not a violent crime meant to control and dehumanize the victim, see; it’s evidence that you were just so ding-dang attractive to some perfectly average guy, he couldn’t stop himself from fucking you, against your will, right then and there!”(Harding 2008, 67).

Friedman and Valenti (2008) note that, when a victim of sexual assault has behaved outside of the stereotypically acceptable fashion—maybe she was drinking, flirting, not a virgin, etc—the response is typically far less sympathetic. “Women who dare to take pleasure in their bodies and live their lives on their own terms deserve whatever they get” (6). As Harding (2008) explains, “It’s tempting to dismiss the lowlife assholes who leave comments like that on a feminist blog as…well, lowlife assholes. As in, people beneath not only our contempt but also our notice. Problem is, these comments show up frequently enough that they’re clearly not just the isolated thoughts of a few vicious, delusional wackjobs. They’re part of a larger cultural narrative about female attractiveness in general, and fat women’s sexuality in particular. It starts here: Women’s first—if not only--job is to be attractive to men. Never mind straight women who have other priorities or queer women who don’t want men. If you were born with a vagina, your primary obligation from the onset of adolescence and well into adulthood will be to make yourself pretty for heterosexual men’s pleasure. Not even just the ones you’d actually want to have a conversation with, let alone sex with—all of them” (Harding 2008, 68).

Discussing and Dismantling Rape Culture with College Students

169

Serano (2008) explains that rape culture is really “a mindset that affects each and every one of us, shaping how we view and respond to the world, and creating double binds for women and men. I call this phenomenon the predator/prey mindset, and within it, men can only ever be viewed as sexual aggressors and women as sexual objects. The predator/prey mindset creates many of the double standards that exist in how we view female versus male sexuality” (228). It means that men are not viewed as sex objects and women as sexual aggressors. “What should be incredibly clear is that the predator/prey mindset enables the virgin/whore double bind that feminist have long been rallying against. Women, as prey, are expected to play down their sexuality—to hide or repress it. Good girls, after all, are supposed to be ‘virgins.’ Women who do not downplay or repress their sexualities—that is, who do not act like prey—are viewed stereotypically as ‘whores’” (Serano 2008, 229-30). Many have argued that college campuses are some of the worst rape cultures. “College campuses are breeding grounds for performances of hypermasculinity. From resident halls to fraternity houses, from sports teams to administrative offices, male peer groups frequently perpetuate the objectification and marginalization of women” (Rich, Utley, Janke and Moldoveanu 2010, 270). Men may be involved in violence against women, or may perpetuate it by failing to disrupt others who are, because they do not want to appear weak or non-masculine in front of their peers. Websites aimed at male college students, including UniLad, BroBible, and the LAD Bible, use epithets like “Slut,” “bitch,” “gash,” “cunt” and “whore” to refer to women and encourage men to describe their sexual conquests in great detail (Bates 2016, 141).In 2013, one fraternity sent its members an email with the subject line “luring your rapebait.” It included the advice “If anything ever fails, go get more alcohol.” The same fraternity made pledges sing a song with these disgusting lyrics: Who can take a bottle Shove it up her ass Hit her with a bat and shatter all the glass Who can take a tight slut Fuck her ‘till she cries Then pull it out real fast and skeet into her eyes Who can take a chainsaw Saw the bitch in two Take the top half and give the bottom half to you Who can take a razor blade Give her a nasty cut And then use the blood to lube up her butt (Bates 2016, 144-45). .

170

Chapter Twelve

Rape culture paves the way for acceptance of rape myths. Rape myths are attitudes and beliefs about rape that deny or minimize victimization and that often hold the victim at least partly responsible for his or her own victimization (Burt 1980). Lonsway and Fitzgerald (1994) dened rape myths as “attitudes and beliefs that are generally false but are widely and persistently held, and that serve to deny and justify male aggression against women” (134). Those focused on the victim suggest that she is lying or has some ulterior motive for the accusation, or that she was “asking for it” by what she was wearing or how she was behaving. A common rape myth is that “good” women do not get raped, so victims are presumed to be promiscuous. Payne, Lonsway and Fitzgerald (1999) identified seven categories of U.S rape myths:1) She asked for it; 2) It wasn't really rape; 3) He didn't mean to; 4)She wanted it; 5) She lied; 6) Rape is a trivial event; 7) Rape is a deviant event. Research has shown that people are more likely to call an incident rape when it meets their predetermined beliefs about sexual assault. If an incident does not meet the criteria people consider a “real rape,” (Estrich 1987), then they are more likely to utilize one or more rape myths to explain what they believe happened. Further, many people want to believe the world is safe and just, therefore they have a difficult time grappling with the horrors of rape and instead use rape myths to prevent themselves from having disturbing thoughts (Lonsway and Fitzgerald 1995). Data has shown that many groups accept rape myths as truths, with dangerous consequences. Studies have repeatedly shown that males are more likely than females to believe rape myths (Lee et al.2005; Suarez and Gadalla 2010). Victims also believe rape myths, which is a significant reason why many do not report their assaults (Cohn, Dupuis and Brown 2009). Numerous studies have shown that members of fraternities and sororities are more prone to believing rape myths (Bleeker and Murne 2005; Canan, Joskowski and Crawford 2016). While most college men do not commit rape, those that do tend to be repeat offenders and to surround themselves with peer cultures that endorse rape culture (Schwartz and Nogrady 1996). Thus, fraternities and male athletic groups are over-represented in accusations of sexual assault, as these groups are often known to denigrate women, bond around hyperaggressive masculinity, and engage in binge drinking that is associated with rape (Hayes et al. 2016). Sanday (1996) postulates that organizations where men are particularly insecure and bond through “getting sex” (194) are at higher risk of creating rape culture. If men in these fraternities perceive that their peers support or even encourage them in coercing a woman to extreme intoxication in order to have sex with her, then rape

Discussing and Dismantling Rape Culture with College Students

171

becomes more likely and rape culture more obvious (Schwartz and Nogrady 1996). Ultimately, although there is some variation between fraternities, O’Sullivan (1991) theorized that, in general, when men live in gender-exclusive housing (i.e., fraternities), they exhibit less empathy for women and rape culture becomes more prevalent. For fraternity men, as belief in rape myths increases so too does their likelihood of raping and committing sexual assault (Foubert et al.2011). Minow and Einof (2009) note that fraternity houses were the second most often cited location for these rapes; the most common locations were in off-campus private residences. Fraternity houses accounted for 32% of the rapes in Minow and Einolf’s (2009) study. When partying occurs in Greek housing men often control the resources, makig rape more likely. This is partly due to the traditional gender roles and expectations that typically characterize the Greek atmosphere (DeSantis 2007). As such, men make decisions about who can attend parties, what kind and how much alcohol is distributed and to whom, and in many cases, the transportation to and from the venue. The women who are given permission to attend are expected to be sexually attractive and grateful for the invitation (DeSantis 2007). Following traditional gender role norms, the women in these situations are expected to be nice and accommodating, and men are supposed to be assertive and sexually aggressive. This unequal gender dynamic, coupled with significant consumption of alcohol, makes sexual assault a frequent occurrence (Bartolucci, Zeichner, and Miller 2009). Most party rapes occur as a result of coercion, not force, however. Several studies have shown that college men tend to respond to violence against women in specific ways. They often deny that the issue pertains to them, imply that statistics about it are over-stating the problem, adhere to rape myths, act defiantly during prevention programs, and assume that learning about this issue reflects poorly on their masculinity (Hayes et al 2016). Campus cultures are also rife with double-standards, with binge drinking encouraged for women through “females drink free” and other marketing ploys. Yet when a woman who has been drinking is sexually assaulted, she is often blamed for making a poor choice. Women are told, then, that to “avoid” being raped, they must control their drinking, while men do not receive such a message (Hayes et al. 2016). Rape myths are even worse when the victim is a woman of color. As Springer (2008) explains, “after slavery, though black women were no longer needed to supply offspring for sale, persistent racial and economic segregation required the jezebel image. Perpetuating the myth of black women as hypersexualized served to set white women on a pedestal and excuse white men’s rape of black women. If black women were always

172

Chapter Twelve

ready and willing sexual partners, it was impossible to have sex with them against their will” (78). Mukhopdhyay (2008) elaborates, noting that “Representations of women of color in the media are based in the belief that women of color’s sexuality is so potent that the only role for them is to be sexualized. As far as the mainstream media is concerned, women of color don’t own their sexuality. Someone else does—be it men, corporate interests, culture, or the law—and it’s those parties that get to determine how it will be expressed” (151-52).

Campus responses and prevention programs: A critique It is clear that many campuses have struggled with how to respond appropriately to allegations of sexual assault as well as how to create and implement effective prevention programs. A Huffington Post analysis released in September 2014 of more than thirty-two colleges and universities found that less than one third of student found guilty of sexual assault were expelled and only 47 percent were suspended (Bates 2016). Conversely, victim’s report retaliation and punishment, with some even being punished for violating school honor codes (Bates 2016). When college women do report unwanted sexual activity, they often face a barrage of insults, both in real life and online. “Consider the reaction in 2014 on CollegiateACB, a forum where students anonymously discuss campus issues, after a Vanderbilt University student’s rape accusations resulted in the suspension of a fraternity. Forum users demanded to know the identity of ‘the girl who ratted’—a name was actually posted—and called her, among other things, ‘manic depressive,’ ‘a crazy bitch,’ ‘psycho,’ ‘NASTY AS SHIT,’ ‘a no good cunt,’ and, over and over, a ‘snitch.’ ‘This repeated use of the word ‘snitching’ in the thread,’ write Andre Rouillard, editor of the school’s newspaper, ‘implies that the victim has revealed a secret that should have been kept behind closed doors—under the rug and on floors that stick like flypaper and stink of old beer…The OP [original poster] issues a rallying cry:’we need to stick together and prevent shit like this from being ok.’ By shit like this, he didn’t mean rape; he meant girls’ reporting of it’” (Orenstein 2016, 193).

Schwartz and DeKeseredy (1997) argue that university administrators “are dominated by male decision makers who lack a sensitivity to women’s concerns. Some of these people are either uncomfortable with or are uninterested in formulating policies designed to reduce the number of women who are victimized by men on campus” (134-135).

Discussing and Dismantling Rape Culture with College Students

173

Campus prevention efforts tend to focus on rapes committed by strangers, yet in 90 percent of campus rape situations, the victim knows the assailant (Yeater and O’Donahue 1999). Further, campus prevention initiatives are more frequently aimed at women, with demonstrations on how not to be a victim, or via target hardening, such as the installation of lights and security cameras. This focus serves to place the ownership for change on victims, not on perpetrators, thereby reinforcing that sexual assault is a female problem and potentially furthering victim-blaming (Rich, Utley, Janke and Moldoveanu 2010). “The ‘if only she had…’ response to rape serves the valuable psychological purpose of allowing other women to temporarily escape that sense of endangerment. If we convince ourselves that we would never have done what she did, that her choices opened her up to assault and we would have behaved differently, then we can feel safe. But it’s a strategy that is bound to fail. The threat of rape holds women—all women—hostage. Obviously, women and men need to take common-sense measures to avoid all sorts of victimization, but the emphasis on rape as a pervasive and constant threat is crucial to maintaining female vulnerability and male power. That narrative, though, does more than just paralyze women—it privileges men. The benefits that stem from the simple ability to not live in fear are impossible to quantify. Certainly many, if not most, men have no desire to keep women afraid, but there are some whose goals necessitate a fearful and compliant female population. How else will they justify keeping women under their thumbs under the guise of ‘protection’?” (Filipovic 2008, 24).

Orenstein (2016) similarly asserts, “Activists are correct in saying that the only thing that 100 percent of rapes have in common is a rapist. You can shroud women from head to toe, forbid them alcohol, imprison them in their homes—and there will still be rape. Plus, you will live in Afghanistan” (187). Since men are most often the perpetrators, it is essential that prevention programs focus on their behavior as well (Mustaine and Tewskbury 2002). As Schwartz and DeKeseredy (1997) explained, “Sexual assault will not stop because women take better precautions. It will stop when men stop assaulting women” (146). Despite the obvious importance of focusing prevention initiatives on men, Bachar and Koss (2001) found only four of fifteen surveyed sexual assault prevention programs did so. O’Donahue, Yeater, and Fanetti, (2003) found that only two of twenty-one universities they surveyed had sexual assault prevention programs aimed at men. Typical campus sexual assault prevention programs run from 45 minutes to two hours, although experts have long pushed for lengthier

174

Chapter Twelve

programs and more ongoing efforts (Jozkowsk, 2015). A few universities offer credited courses like human sexuality or women and violence, and a small number offer peer education programs whereby students can be trained to teach others about sexual assault (Jozkowski 2015). Most often, these programs utilize a “no means no” model—“which, while of course useful, stops short of truly envisioning how suppressing female sexual agency is a key element of rape culture, and therefore how fostering genuine female sexual autonomy is necessary in fighting back against it” (Friedman and Valenti 2008, 6). Most campuses do not conduct rigorous evaluations of their programs. When they do evaluations, they are often use simple pre and post-test measures that do not accurately gauge changes in knowledge, attitudes, and behaviors (Jozkoswki 2015). Some programs have described themselves as successful because they reduce rape myth acceptance. Most do not assess whether changes persist longitudinally (Jozkowski 2015). Lonsway et al (1994) did conduct a two year post-assessment of students who took a semester-long course in which they were trained as peer facilitators for campus sexual violence prevention maintained less endorsement of rape myths than students who had taken a human sexuality course. Since these students enrolled with the intention of becoming peer educators, however, they may have already been less prone to believe rape myths than the other students. Jozkowski (2015) designed an elective course designed to address the social and behavioral determinants of sexual assault as it occurs on college campuses, specifically. The students were not trained as peer educators, nor did the course title use the words “sexual assault,” “rape,” or “sexual violence.” The discussion-based course examined the interrelationship of gender, sexuality, and campus culture, exploring media and societal messages about gender role norms and, specifically, gender-assigned sexual behavior. It went beyond traditional discussions of consent to examine the contextual factors that shape misunderstandings, coercion, and inadequate communications in campus sexual relations. She then compared students who completed this course to those who completed the other sexual violence prevention program on that campus, a 60-minute workshop. Students who completed the course were better at pointing out factors that contribute to sexual violence in a series of vignettes than were those who completed only the workshop. They were more likely to consistently apply a “no means no” response, and less likely to employ subtle forms of victim-blaming. This approach, then, seems better suited to prepare students to understand the nuances of obtaining consent in a campus culture (Jozkowski 2015).

Discussing and Dismantling Rape Culture with College Students

175

McCoughey and Cermele (2015) noted that self-defense courses are rarely included in rape prevention initiatives on campus, and that most universities that have programs have adopted the CDC’s public health model, which focuses on debunking rape myths, defining consent, setting boundaries in relationships, and bystander intervention. The CDC refers to these as key components of primary prevention, which it defines as “‘‘[a]pproaches that take place before sexual violence has occurred to prevent initial perpetration or victimization’’ (CDC 2004, 3). McCoughey and Cermele (2015) maintain that self-defense should also be considered an important element of prevention, citing studies to show its efficacy for that purpose (Clay-Warner 2002; Gidycz and Dardis 2014; Hollander 2014; Tark and Kleck 2015). Self-defense includes verbal and physical resistance behaviors that attempt to thwart an assailant. McCoughey and Cermele (2015) further maintain that teaching women self-defense is a way to challenge social norms, such as thatwomen are weak and submissive. They also assert that bystander intervention, which has been widely embraced, unintentionally reinforces the notion that men have the power to rape. That is, by teaching people that they have the power to speak up or act out to disrupt a potential sexual assault, wellintentioned activists, advocates and educators fail to get men to see women as equals but instead continue to position them as less powerful. It is “a move to a kinder, gentler sexism, rather than a move from sexism to equality” (McCoughey and Cermele 2015, 8). Additionally, McCoughey and Cermele (2015) critique the fact that many of the White House and other guidelines for campus sexual assault prevention actually presuppose a rape has happened in that they pay significant attention to resources for victims. Women are told to know their rights, but that list doesn’t typically include the right to self-defense. Yet others critique self-defense programs for contributing to the notion that the prevention of sexual assault relies on victims’ actions. Selfdefense, they argue, can never change the way men view women or their motivation to sexually assault someone. Although it might make a particular woman less vulnerable to attack, it does nothing to dismantle rape culture, critics contend. It is clear, then, that far more discussion about prevention must occur on college campuses, and that each campus must enact programs and policies specific to their unique cultures. Further, students must be included in these conversations in order for programs to be effective. The next portion of the chapter offers one group of students’ commentary on the U.S. as rape culture and what they recommend for changes on college campuses.

176

Chapter Twelve

Student reflections My Perspective Consciousness and Social Justice (SOC 200) courses in Spring, 2016 spent significant time studying the social construction of gender and patriarchy before examining how those are connected to domestic, dating and sexual violence. Students were introduced to the concepts of rape culture and rape myths before engaging in discussion, reviewing videos, listening to guest speakers, and participating in interactive activities designed to further their understanding of how the U.S in many ways normalizes rape. Class sessions focused also on the prevalence of domestic, dating and sexual violence on college campuses and what more should be done to change campus rape cultures into cultures of safety for all. Students were asked to describe the ways the U.S. is a rape culture and to discuss what can be done to challenge that in the broader culture and on campuses specifically. Below are the responses students gave me permission to share. Julia Suglia: “The term ‘rape culture’ insists that sexual violence is the norm of society. It exists because we refuse to see that it does. Sex has become this idolized fantasy by the media, and society has accepted it as the norm. The U.S. seems to support this through songs, music videos, and photo shoots. Celebrities, females in particular, are subjected to an image of sex, with racy clothes they are expected to wear. The media expects them to give off a certain image for people to look up to, but if I was a parent, I would not want my child looking up to these people and their lifestyles. Take Miley Cyrus for example. She used to be the goody-goody, family-oriented Disney star. Now she is dressing inappropriately, singing about drugs, and sending off the wrong message to adolescent girls. This makes girls feel as if they need to dress and act inappropriately in order to grab male attention. No one realizes that if you dress like trash, you will pick up trash. The media also makes rape seem like a norm, and insists that girls “dream about being raped.” Okay, who made up that faulty knowledge? No one wants to be raped, especially with the long-term emotional consequences it comes with. It sickens me to hear people saying “Oh, that girl had it coming by the way she dresses.” Any girl, or guy, has the right to look how she or he wants without being at risk for being a victim. Rape can be ended in the U.S. and on college campuses by making awareness of this rape culture. Society could also stop making the idea of it seem like a joke. I can tell you a personal story where I could have experienced rape, but was able to avoid it. But, maybe my words are better not heard, since a lot of society probably would not care, which is why I kept it a secret for almost six years now. Now, instead of sharing my story,

Discussing and Dismantling Rape Culture with College Students I will leave you with this instead: Rape is not a joke, so stop acting like it is, and do something to put it to an end.” Zac Kellett: “The U.S is a rape culture in many ways. The biggest one, I feel, is the idea that rape is the victim’s fault. The common questions that come up after a rape are “what were you wearing?” and “what did you do to provoke your attacker?” By doing this, the U.S. takes the blame off the attackers and puts it on the victims, which makes zero sense. The best way to reduce rape would be to hold self-defense classes in schools along with harsher punishment, and putting the blame on the attacker, not the victim. To reduce rapes on college campuses, harsher sanctions and a no tolerance policy with immediate police reporting are essential.” Vukan Vilotijevic: “In the U.S., society would rather teach girls how not to get raped than teach boys not to rape. When a rape does occur, people, quickly ask what the girl was wearing, or if she had too much to drink. We can reduce rape in the U.S, by naming the real problem, which is men being violent and victims being blamed. As far as college campuses are concerned, we have to stress how important consent is.” Tonya Turner: “The U.S. is a rape culture in the way that it justifies rape. If someone gets raped, sometimes people put the blame on the victim. For example, if a female is wearing clothes that are revealing and she gets raped, people will say that it’s her fault because of what she was wearing. Another way in which the U.S. is a rape culture is the way we deal with rapists. Some people who commit the crime are never caught, and most of them walk away free, giving them opportunity to rape again. The best way we can reduce rape in the U.S is by letting victims know the resources that are out there, not putting the blame on victims, and having a different and more effective way of punishing rape offenders. On college campuses, we should let the students know the resources available to them and that they are not alone.” Zahria Scott: “The U.S. is a rape culture in the way that it handles the issue of rape. More often than not, the U.S. focuses on how an individual can NOT be raped, rather than on just stopping rape, period. The media usually depicts the victim as the cause of his or her rape, whether it was the choice of clothing or the way someone said hello, somehow the victim receives some of the blame while no one really takes the rapist into account. The media chooses to reprimand people for not being more cautious instead of reprimanding those that are actually committing the crime The best wat to reduce rape in the U.S is to launch a new advertising campaign that will focus more on consent and stopping or preventing rapists and less on preventing rape from happening to you. As for college campuses, there needs to be more talk about clear boundaries that should not be crossed, and there also needs to be more talk about consent. I feel as though a lot of

177

178

Chapter Twelve college students are uncomfortable with the idea of stopping and physically asking somebody for consent, and the best way to get comfortable with an idea is to immerse yourself in it. By talking more, people will be more comfortable with asking for consent.” Kiarra Lester: “The U.S. is a rape culture through the way that it shows women as sex objects. Through media, women are being with less and less clothing, and it produces this image that this is what women should look like in order to get attention. We can best reduce rape in the U.S. by seeing women as more than sex objects and stopping the ways we blame victims; when there is a rape, we always want to know what someone did to “cause” it. The same goes for college campuses. Make it a safe environment so people can feel comfortable, and also if they have been victimized, make it easier and more comfortable to speak up about it.” Barry Rhodes: “Basically speaking, the porn industry in America is worth around three billion dollars; more than every sports industry COMBINED. Now, I am not one to argue the ins and outs, but the sex promoted in porn does not hold high standards of respect and considerations, especially for the female. Yet we wonder why the numbers and kinds of rape across any demographic are so high. Hmm… The best way to reduce rape in the U.S is to stop heavily sedating and conditioning our minds and eyes to the overall concept of sex. Not that sex is not an amazing thing within itself (indeed, it is) but literally some of us can’t function as reasonable and sane human beings without it radically being a part of our lives. In other words, we need to change how we talk about and see sex.” Paris Razor: “The United States partakes in rape culture due to myths and stigma that plagues society. Ideas like “she was asking for it in her miniskirt” or “she was drunk so technically didn’t say no” minimize the severity of and even the concept of rape. It places blame on the victim because we think she shouldn’t have worn that skirt, or she shouldn’t get drunk, or whatever, instead of on the rightful victimizer. We can reduce rape by letting our stories be heard, electing women in Congress to protect and fight for our rights, and not accepting when rape victims are thought of only as ‘victims.’ On college campuses, we need effective resources, counselors who are trained, equality in treatment of all students, and someone who’s brave enough to make it happen. Rape victims need support, not lengthy trials with bias towards the football team.” Chrisorden Joseph: “The U.S by far has a rape culture. It is not a modern phenomenon, as it stems from a long history as a patriarchal society where men demand sex from unwilling who receive no justice. Forensic evidence provides little to no help on the matter, as it is hard to prove what is rape from consensual sex in many cases. It all comes down to who a court of law will find guilty, and unfortunately, for the most part, rapists walk free.

Discussing and Dismantling Rape Culture with College Students

179

On the flip side, women have been known to falsely report rape, for instance, when a women regrets having sex with someone she may claim he raped her to protect her reputation. This is often the case with adolescent girls. As for college campuses, it is extremely difficult to solve the rape problem. Many rape victims are drugged, so their testimony is botched because they cannot fully recall their actions, and the drugs are often untraceable. Fraternities and college boys in general practice brotherhood codes of silence, which decreases the number of possible witnesses. The only way to remedy this is to raise awareness about what rape really is, and that an intoxicated person cannot give consent.” Alex Doyle: “The US is currently a rape culture due to the unfortunate power that men have over women, where women in 90 percent of the men’s perspectives, are nothing more than sexual objects. We can reduce rape by changing the perception of women, underscoring that they are more than sexual objects. We need to give power to women, changing history and therefore, generations.”

These reflections show students have a basic understanding of rape culture and the problem with rape myths, but at the same time may subtly engage in victim-blaming through their suggestions on how to handle these issues on campus. For instance, while many discuss the problem with assuming a victim is to blame based on her clothing or looks, several made it sound like false reports are common, and one even used the language that “if you dress like trash you will pick up trash.” The students do recognize the need for deeper and more nuanced conversations about consent. Although their reflections do not express this, many told me that it was the first time anyone had ever spoken to them about consent in sexual relationships. Others said all they ever heard was “no means no,” and they echoed the literature in expressing that this is way too simplistic of an understanding of consent. These classes both watched the very widely viewed “Tea” video that is available on Youtube, which equates conversations about sex with making someone a cup of tea. In subsequent conversations, albeit not in their reflections, these students remarked that they understood and appreciated the messages in that video, which are, primarily, 1) If someone once had tea with you, they are not obligated to do so ever again, just as if they once had sex with you they are free to decline in later encounters; 2) If that individual is unable to consent to drinking tea, do not pour it down their throat. Likewise, if someone is too drunk to consent or is asleep, do not engage in sexual activity with that person. It was interesting that several students brought up football and fraternity culture, given that our campus has no football team and only one

180

Chapter Twelve

fraternity. This shows that, through class and broader exposure to what is happening on other campuses, students are becoming aware of some of the groups that are uniquely at-risk for perpetration. Perhaps the most interesting responses were those that critiqued the broader society for gender inequality and for its obsession with pornographic sex. These students clearly internalized class teachings that rape culture is connected to patriarchy and double standards about sex that inform traditional gender role norms. Although none of them wrote this, several mentioned to me that classes like ours, in which students from all different majors can discuss these issues in a safe academic setting, were really important in changing cultural norms. Reality is, however, that most students receive little coursework that addresses such issues.

Best practices for campus sexual assault response and prevention Numerous studies have confirmed that the most effective prevention programs are ongoing and that they inform bystanders how they can intervene positively to prevent sexual assault. The White House has provided recommendations for campus prevention programs, which are available at https://www.notalone.gov/assets/evidence-based-strategies-forthe-prevention-of-sv-perpetration.pdf. One way to engage bystanders is to clearly identify who is the aggressor and what he is doing, i.e, “Man in the red T-shirt, please don’t touch my legs” (Bates 2016, 184). Orenstein (2016) found that girls worry about directly rejecting boys, not wanting to hurt their feelings. Girls are still taught to be nice and polite and thus often struggle when they are faced with an unsafe situation, as they fear being thought of as rude. Training programs that teach women about how early the coercive process can begin in a relationship and how to respond assertively before violence becomes an issue have been shown to reduce rape rates. California was the first state to pass an affirmative consent law, otherwise called “yes means yes.” Rather than demonstrate that someone never said no to unwanted sexual contact, such laws require that individuals provide “an affirmative, unambiguous, and conscious decision by each participant to engage in mutually agreed upon sexual activity.” This might include verbal consent as well as body language, and consent can be denied at any time. Further, any type of incapacitation, such as drugs or alcohol, means that an individual cannot provide affirmative consent. In 2015, New York passed an affirmative consent law, and Maryland, New Hampshire and Colorado are considering doing so

Discussing and Dismantling Rape Culture with College Students

181

(Orenstein 2016). Although critics have contended that such laws will elicit a flood of sexual assault reports, that hasn’t necessarily been the case to date. “What ‘yes means yes’ may do, though, especially if states aim solid curricular efforts at younger students, as California plans to do, is create a much needed reframing of the public conversation away from the negative—away from boys as exclusively aggressive and girls as acrimonious—and toward what healthy, consensual, mutual encounters between young people ought to look like. Maybe it will allow girls to consider what they want—what they really want—sexually, and at last give them license to communicate it; maybe it will allow boys to more readily listen” (Orenstein 2016, 201).

Smith and Welchans (2000) found an immediate change in attitudes about sexual assault after attending a program on rape myths. Conversely, Foubert and Marriott(1997) found an immediate significant reduction in rape myths with a slight regression back to the mean 3 months after the training. They suggest that updated and continual training may be necessary for prolonged reduction of rape myth acceptance. “When we strategize about ending rape culture, we should remember that it is no more isolated a phenomenon that rape itself is. Though the form and intensity vary, any oppression you care to name works at least in part by controlling or claiming ownership of the bodies of those oppressed— slavery and the prison-industrial-complex being only the most extreme examples” (Troost 2008, 171). Students can and should be introduced to and encouraged to engage with activist groups seeking to end rape culture on campuses and beyond. Online activism campaigns like #YesAllWomen and #GirlsLikeUs can catalyze student energies into something positive. FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture is another organization seeking to dismantle rape culture. Student organizations devoted to campus sexual assault include Students Active for Ending Rape (SAFER) and Know Your Title IX. Faculty Against Rape (FAR) offers resources for faculty and administrators regarding how to be support survivors Faculty are reminded to listen without judging and to express empathy. Faculty members are advised to believe the survivor and not to ask probing or excessive questions that would make the survivor feel as though she or he is not being believed. It is essential that faculty know about the campus-based resources for survivors and that they follow up with an individual who reports sexual assault.

182

Chapter Twelve

FAR also recommends that all syllabi include a disclosure statement telling students where to report sexual assault and where they can receive services, just as they would with disability-related services. A sample is provided on FAR’s website. Additionally, faculty members are encouraged to invite guest speakers, get involved in campus task forces, help host events, and to publish articles or op-eds related to campus sexual assault. In addition, FAR provides excellent tools for campus administrators in regard to how to reform policy and changing campus culture. The goal is to move rape-prone campuses to rape-free campuses. Rape-free campuses, according to Peggy Sanday (1996), are those in which decision-making occurs via consensus and faculty and students are on a first-name basis. Motivated by a strong sense of community, such cultures ostracize those who disrespect others through racism, sexism, or homophobia.

References Abbey, Antonia. “Alcohol-related Sexual Assault: A Common Problem Among College Students.” College Drinking Prevention. Accessed July 12, 2015. http://www.collegedrinkingprevention.gov/media/journal/118abbey.pdf Anderson, Peter and Briana Spruille. “The Relationships Between Heavy Episodic Drinking, Sexual Assaulting and Being Sexually Assaulted for Southern Urban University Student.” Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality (2005). Accessed July 12, 2016. http://www.ejhs.org/volume8/heavy_drinking.htm Bachar, Karen and Mary Koss. “From Prevalence to Prevention: Closing the Gap Between What We Know About Rape and What We Do.” In Sourcebook on Violence Against Women, edited by Claire Renzetti, Jeffrey Edleson and Racquel Bergen, 117-42. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2000. Bartolucci, Anne, Amos Zeichner and Joshua Miller. “Alcohol Consumption and Perceived Sexual Coercion: Effects of Gender and Personality Determinants.” Substance Use & Misuse 44(2009): 13991414 Bates, Laura. Everyday Sexism. New York: Thomas Dunne, 2016. Benson, Brenda, Carol Gohm and Alan Gross. “College Women and Sexual Assault: The Role of Sex-related Alcohol Expectancies.” Journal of Family Violence 22(2007): 341-51.

Discussing and Dismantling Rape Culture with College Students

183

Bleecker, E. Timothy and Sarah Murnen. “Fraternity Membership, the Display of Degrading Sexual Images of Women, and Rape Myth Acceptance.” Sex Roles 53(2005): 487-493. Burt, Martha. “Cultural Myths and Support for Rape” Journal of Personality & Social Psychology 38(1980), 217-30. Canan, Sasha, Kristen Jozkowski and Brandon Crawford. “Sexual Assault Supportive Attitudes: Rape Myth Acceptance and Token Resistance in Greek and Non-Greek College Students from Two University Samples in the United States” Journal of Interpersonal Violence (2016): 1-29. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Sexual Violence Prevention: Beginning the Dialogue,.” CDC, 2004. Accessed July 14, 2016. http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/svprevention-a.pdf Clay-Warner, Jody. “Avoiding Rape: The Effect of Protective Actions and Situational Factors on Rape Outcomes.” Violence and Victims 17(2002): 691–705. Cohn, Ellen, Erin Dupuis and Tiffany Brown. “In the Eye of the Beholder: Do Behavior and Character Affect Victim and Perpetrator Responsibility for Acquaintance Rape?” Journal of Applied Social Psychology 39(2009):1513-1535. DeSantis, Alan. Inside Greek U.: Fraternities, Sororities, and the Pursuit of Pleasure, Power, and Prestige. Lexington: University of Kentucky Press, 2007. Estrich, Susan. Real Rape. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1987. Filipovic, Jill. “Offensive Feminism: The Conservative Gender Norms that Perpetuate Rape Culture, and How Feminists Can Fight Back.” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 13-28. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. Foubert, John and Kenneth Marriott. “Effects of a Sexual Assault Peer Education Program on Men’s Belief in Rape Myths.” Sex Roles 36(1997): 259-68. Foubert, John, Matthew, Brosi and Sean Bannon. “Pornography Viewing Among Fraternity Men: Effects on Bystander Intervention, Rape Myth Acceptance, and Behavioral Intent to Commit Sexual Assault.” Sexual Addition & Compulsivity 18(2011): 212-231. Friedman, Jaclyn and Jessica Valenti. “Introduction.” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 5-12. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008.

184

Chapter Twelve

Gidycz, Christine, and Christine Dardis. “Feminist Self-defense and Resistance Training for College Students: A Critical Review and Recommendations for the Future.” Trauma, Violence, & Abuse 15(2014): 322–333. Harding, Kate. “How Do You Fuck a Fat Woman?” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 67-76. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. Harris, Javacia. “A Woman’s Worth.” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jesssica Valenti, 53-66. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. Hayes, Rebecca, Rebecca Abbott, and Savannah Cook. “It’s her Fault: Student Acceptance of Rape Myths on two College Campuses.” Violence Against Women (2016): 1-16. Hollander, Jocelyn. “Does Self-defense Training Prevent Violence Against Women?” Violence Against Women 20(2014): 252–269. Humphrey, Stephen and Arnold Kahn. “Fraternities, Athletic Teams, and Rape: The Importance of Identification with a Risky Group.” Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 15(2000): 1313-1322. Jervis, Lisa. “An Old Enemy in a New Outfit: How Date Rape Became Gray Rape and why it Matters.” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 163-170. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. Jozkowski, Kristen. “Beyond the Dyad: An Assessment of Sexual Assault Prevention Education Focused on Social Determinants of Sexual Assault among College Students.” Violence Against Women 21(2015): 848-874. Kacmarek, Julia and Elizabeth Geffre. “Rape Culture is: Know it When You See it.” Huffington Post, August 1, 2013. Accessed June 23, 2016.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/julia-kacmarek/rape-cultureis_b_3368577.html Lee, Joohee. “Attitudes Toward Rape: A Comparison Between Asian and Caucasian College Students.” Violence Against Women 11(2005): 17796. Lonsway, Kimberly and Louise Fitzgerald. “Rape Myths: In Review.” Psychology of Women Quarterly 18(1994): 133-64 McCaughey, Martha and Jill Cermele. “Changing the Hidden Curriculum of Campus Rape Prevention and Education: Women’s Self-defense as a Key Protective Factor for a Public Health Model of Prevention.” Trauma, Violence, & Abuse (2015): 1-16.

Discussing and Dismantling Rape Culture with College Students

185

Millar, Thomas. “Toward a Performance Model of Sex.” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 29-42. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. Minof, Jacqueline and Christopher Einolf. “Sorority Participation and Sexual Assault Risk.” Violence Against Women 15(2009): 835-51. Mohler-Kuo, Meichan, Dowdall, George, Koss, Mary, and Weschler, Henry. “Correlates of Rape While Intoxicated in a National Sample of College Women.” Journal of Studies on Alcohol 65(2004): 37-45. Mustaine, Elizabeth and Richard Tewksbury. “Sexual Assault of College Women: A Feminist Interpretation of a Routine Activities Analysis.” Criminal Justice Review 27(2002): 89-123 Mukhopadhyay, Samhita. “Trial by Media: Black Female Lasciviousness and the Question of Consent.” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 151-162. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. Orenstein, Peggy. Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complex Landscape. New York: Harper, 2016. O’Sullivan, Chris. “Acquaintance Gang Rape on Campus.” In Acquaintance Rape: The Hidden Crime, edited by Andrea Parrot and Laurie Bechhofer, 140-156. New York, NY: John Wiley, 1991. Payne, Diana, Kimberly Lonsway and Louise Fitzgerald. “Rape Myth Acceptance: Exploration of its Structure and its Measurement Using the Illinois Rape Myth Acceptance Scale.” Journal of Research in Personality, 33(1999): 27-68. Perry, Brad. “Hooking Up with Healthy Sexuality: The Lessons Boys Learn (and Don’t Learn) About Sexuality, and why a Sex-Positive Rape Prevention Paradigm Can Benefit Everyone Involved.” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti. 193-208. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. Peterson, Latoya. “The Not-rape Epidemic.” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 209-220. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. Rich, Marc, Ebony Utley, Kelly Janke and Minodoa Moldoveneau. “I’d Rather Be Doing Something Else: Male Resistance to Rape Prevention Programs.” The Journal of Men’s Studies 18(2010): 268-88. Riggs, Lee. “A Love Letter From an Anti-rape Activist to her Feminist Sex-toy Store.” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power &

186

Chapter Twelve

a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 107-116. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. Rozee, Patricia and Mary Koss. “Rape: A Century of Resistance.” Psychology of Women Quarterly 25(2001): 295-311. Sanday, Peggy. “Rape-prone Versus Rape-free Campus Cultures.” Violence Against Women 2(1996): 191-208. Schwartz, Martin and Carol Nogrady. “Fraternity Membership, Rape Myths, and Sexual Aggression on a College Campus.” Violence Against Women 2 (1996): 148-162. Schwartz, Martin and Walter Dekeseredy. Sexual Assault on the College Campus: The Role of Male Peer Support. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 1997. Serano, Julia. “Why Nice Guys Finish Last.” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 227-240. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. Sexual Violence. Centers for Disease Control, February 5, 2015. Accessed February 16, 2015. http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/ Springer, Kimberly. “Queering Black Female Heterosexuality.” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 77-92. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press. Statistics. Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), nd. Accessed February 15, 2015. https://www.rainn.org/statistics Suarez, Eliana and Tahany Gadalla. “Stop Blaming the Victim: A Metaanalysis on Rape Myths.” Journal of Interpersonal Violence 25(2010): 2010-35. Tark, Jongyeon, and Gary Kleck, Gary. “Resisting Rape: The Effects of Victim Self-protection on Rape Completion and Injury [Special issue].” Violence Against Women 20(2015): 270–292. Troost, Hazel/Cedar. “Reclaiming Touch: Rape Culture, Explicit Verbal Consent, and Body Sovereignty.” In Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & a World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, 171-78. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008. Yeater, Elizabeth and William O’Donohue. “Sexual Assault Prevention Programs: Current Issues, Future Directions, and the Potential Efficacy of Interventions With Women.” Clinical Psychology Review 19(1999): 739-71.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN SEXISM AND BYSTANDER INTERVENTION JOHN CHAPIN AND NANCY PAOLETTI

This chapter discusses the ironic and the somewhat disturbing relationship between sexism and bystander intervention, using a survey of 1,199 middle school and high school students. Adolescents holding sexist attitudes (Old-Fashioned Sexism) are more likely to intervene in a school bullying scenario than are adolescents who embrace gender equality. OldFashioned Sexism is also related to self-efficacy, age, and gender. Implications for school-based prevention education programs are discussed. This project resulted from a partnership between a faculty member (Chapin) and an adult student (Paoletti), each with a personal history that included abuse. Chapin spent his childhood visiting his mother in the hospital, following his father’s drunken rages. There were no women’s centers at the time, and domestic violence victims were encouraged to stay with their abusers, “for the sake of the children.” In addition to researching violence prevention, he is the President of the Board of Directors of the Women’s Center of Beaver County and a long-standing volunteer at Crisis Center North. Paoletti survived an abusive marriage that prevented her from completing her college education. She is now happily married to a supportive partner and completed her bachelor of arts degree in communication. This project evolved from her senior capstone course in communication research. “Most men fear getting laughed at or humiliated by a romantic prospect, while most women fear rape and death” (de Becker 1999). De Becker's book, The Gift of Fear and other Survival Signals that Protect us from Violence, is just one in a long line of publications trying to explain why violence against women is so rampant. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (2013), one in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime, an estimated 1.3 million women each year, in the United States alone. As de Becker and countless others have argued, sexist and hostile attitudes about women are at the

188

Chapter Thirteen

core of the problem: men often consider women as property, women as the "fairer sex," not as strong as men, and consider men as the head of the household. These attitudes are typically what you find with old-fashioned sexism. Our purpose with this study was to examine sexism and bystander intervention among students in middle and high school. We also examined bystander intervention and self-efficacy within the context of school-based violence against girls and women.

Sexism Researchers have been focusing on the differences between males and females, both physical and psychosocial, since empirical research became a part of psychology. With the onset of the women’s movement in the mid- to late-sixties, research has moved into the study of sexism and sexist attitudes (Jean and Reynolds 1980). Prejudice is an antipathy that can lead to faulty generalizations, such as beliefs that women are inferior to men, abuse, and discriminatory treatment of women in the workplace. When it comes to family roles, there is still an unequal divide in child care and household chores, even though more women have joined the work force. Hall and Carter (1999) found that there was virtually no difference between what males and females hold to be true about genders and gender roles; both hold similar gender stereotypes.

Measuring sexism: Scale development Of course, there are differences between men and women both physically and psychosocially, thus there is a tendency to treat each gender differently. Masculinity and femininity scales are common psychological tests. One of the early measures, The Sex Role Stereotype Questionnaire (Rosenkrantz, Vogel, Bee, Broverman, and Broverman 1968), was designed to measure beliefs about the appropriate behaviors associated with sex roles. Working with this and other gender scales, Jean and Reynolds (1980) developed The Bias in Attitude Survey (BIAS) to measure a general societal awareness of sexism. BIAS focused heavily on interpersonal and social issues, such as “A woman needs the support of a man to advance professionally.” Other attempts at measuring sexism, such as the Sexist Attitudes Toward Women Scale (SATWS) (Benson and Vincent 1980), were developed through content analysis of feminist writing. SATWS consists of seven components:

Sexism and Bystander Intervention

189

(1) attitudes that women were genetically inferior, (2) the premise that men should have more rights and power, (3) sex discrimination practices in education, workplaces, and politics, (4) hostility toward women who worked in traditionally male roles, (5) lack of support and empathy for women’s rights, (6) use of derogatory terms and labels, (7) the treatment of women as sex objects. Sexism comes in many shapes and forms. Typically, sexism is thought of as a reflection of hostility toward women. However, this view neglects another side to sexism that can also manifest as a stereotypically positive view on the role of women, such as the idea of women being motherly and protective (Glick and Fiske 1996). Our study used two different scales to measure sexism, The OldFashioned Sexism Scale (OFSS) (Swim, Aikin, Hall, and Hunter 1995) and the Benevolent Sexism Scale (BSS) (Glick and Fiske 1996). The development of the OFSS began with observations of the parallels between racism and sexism, including inequality in the workplace. The first abolition movements of the 1830s found women incited by their inability to work as equals speaking out against the subjugation of both African-Americans and women. The OFSS was adapted from the OldFashioned Racism Scale (OFRS) and Modern Racism Scale (MRS) (McConahay 1983). Items like “Black people are generally not as smart as whites” were changed to “women are generally not as smart as men.” Additional items were added, related to traditional beliefs about women. The emphasis was on negative stereotypes of competence and unequal treatment. Unlike racism, the nature of sexism encompasses both hostile and benevolent attitudes. Benevolent sexism is attitudes toward women that are sexist in terms of viewing women stereotypically in restricted roles that are subjectively positive in feeling and tend to elicit behaviors typically categorized as pro-social or seeking intimacy: "A good woman should be put on a pedestal by her man." Benevolent sexism items represent subtle forms of prejudice that seem contemporary, but are closely related to ideologies of chivalry. Because of its positive tone, benevolent sexism has not been challenged as vigorously as hostile sexism and old-fashioned sexism have (Glick et al. 2000). The BSS reflects paternalism (dominative and protective), gender differentiation (competitive and complementary), and heterosexuality (hostile and intimate): “Women have a quality of purity few men possess,” or “In a disaster, women ought to be rescued first.”

190

Chapter Thirteen

Old-fashioned sexism and benevolent sexism in context While research shows that men are more sexist than women in general, findings suggest that men display a greater tendency toward benevolent sexism (Glick and Fiske 1996; Swim, Aikin, Hall, and Hunter 1995) than old-fashioned sexism. However, these studies also indicate that there is a positive correlation between the BSS and the OFSS (Glick and Fiske 1996). Glick, et.al (2000), using the BSS and OFSS, measured sexism across cultures and found that while men are generally more sexist across cultures, both men and women have sexist attitudes. In fact, men’s scores on both scales strongly correlate with women’s scores. This provides evidence that adopted beliefs, often connected with religion, are justified within disadvantaged groups such as women, and that women tend to accept these ideologies of sexist attitudes. However, this study also noted that women were significantly less accepting of old-fashioned sexism. As the level of men’s sexism increased, so did the gender gap between men’s and women’s OFSS scores, suggesting an increasing resistance among women to accepting a hostile environment. In contrast, the opposite occurred in the relationship and gender gap in BSS scores. The more sexist a culture, the more women, relative to men, accept benevolent sexism. This finding may not be surprising given that there is a strong proclivity for women to accept benevolent sexism (Becker and Swim 2012; Connelly and Heesacker 2012). In their study, Connelly and Heesacker (2012) wanted to know why men and women alike would be motivated to possess benevolent sexist beliefs, since this type of sexism maintains a woman’s subjugation. One possible explantion could be that benevolent sexism bolsters the sense of a society as fair, by offering a palatable rationale for gender inequality. A study of 385 undergraduates found a significant difference between men and women on OFS, but none for BS (Connelly and Heesacker 2012). While previous research suggests that benevolent sexism contributes to the subjugation of women (Glick and Fiske 1996; Glick et al. 2000), BS is an ideology that women and men may consider flattering, even desirable, despite negative consequences (Connelly and Heesacker 2012). Using the sexism scales to measure sexist attitudes has allowed researchers to develop psychological predictors for research topics that include sexual harassment (Begany and Milburn 2002; Lonsway, Cortina, and Magley 2008; O'Connor et al. 2004; Wiener et al. 2010), police officers’ attitudes towards women (Sims, Scarborough, and Ahmad), rape myths and related beliefs (Forbes, Adams-Curtis, and White 2004), intimate partner violence (Herzog 2007; Lila, Oliver, Galiana, and Gracia 2013; Lockwood, Harris, Palazzolo, and Savage 2012), heterosexual men’s

Sexism and Bystander Intervention

191

attitudes toward homosexuality (Barron, Struckman-Johnson, Quevillon, and Banka 2008), and trafficking women for prostitution (Herzog 2008). Additionally, researchers use these instruments to measure sexist language as it relates to prejudicial views (Parks and Roberton 2000; Sarrasin, Gabriel, and Gygax 2012), as in the case of this research

Bystander intervention As sexist attitudes and language contribute to the subjugation of women, a recent shift toward primary prevention has been occurring in school violence prevention education, with multiple programs focusing on reducing violence against women and girls by promoting bystander intervention (See Polanin, Espelage and Pigott 2012, for a review). Kerzner (2013) describes bystanders as the "moral third," providing the crucial role of disrupting the power balance between the bully and the victim. Like others (Cismaru 2013; Freis and Gurung 2013; McMahon and Dick 2011), Kerzner views the transformation of passive bystanders to active bystanders as central to violence prevention. Findings based on successful programs are startling. For example, enlisted study of US Army soldiers reported an increase in willingness among male soldiers who completed a program focused on bystander intervention to intervene in instances of abuse and a decrease in the likelihood of committing sexual assault.. Soldiers who completed a more traditional program based on building awareness and taking precautions against personal victimization were less likely to intervene and more likely to commit sexual assaults (Foubert and Masin 2012). A school basedstudy (Frey, Hirschstein, Snell, Edstrom, Mackenzie and Broderick 2005) reported fewer observed playground bullying incidents and increased bystander behavior as a result of prevention education programming. Some barriers to intervention include anxiety (McMahon and Dick 2011) and emotional responses (Barhight, Hubbard and Hyde 2013). Students experiencing emotional reactions (including increased blood pressure) are more likely to intervene; however, if emotion rises to the level of anxiety, they are less likely to intervene. Other predictors of bystander intervention include having a personal relationship with either the victim or perpetrator of a violent act. A study of Czech children (12-18) reported an increased likelihood to intervene for bystanders who have a relationship with the victim or who experience an emotional response to the bullying as well as in instances where the victim makes a direct request for help. Conversely, having a relationship with the bully encouraged passive bystanding. Age, gender, and fear failed to

192

Chapter Thirteen

predict intervention in these cases (Machackova, Dedkova, Sevcikikova and Cerna 2013).

Self-efficacy Self-efficacy refers to confidence in one’s ability to attain a desired goal. It is well documented that belief in one’s ability to achieve a goal is related to actual achievement (Coffman, Shellman and Bernal 2004; Godin, Cote, Naccache, Lambert and Trottier 2005; Tai 2006). Confidence in one's ability can yield positive or negative consequences. For instance, a small survey of 90 men found that confidence in driving ability predicted speeding and drunk driving (Morisset, Terrade and Somat 2010). Another study of emergency room nurses found self-efficacy predicted more effective screening of abuse victims (Chapin 2006). Within the context of bullying, the results are consistently positive. A recent school-based study of US teens found that girls exhibited higher moral sensitivity regarding bullying, than did boys, but less "defender" self-efficacy (confidence in one's ability to intervene). Ultimately, selfefficacy was the best predictor of bystander intervention among the participants of both genders Thornberg and Jungert 2013). A study of urban African-American teens similarly found that greater self-efficacy to resolve conflicts peacefully predicted less aggression among the study participants (as reported by participants) and more pro-social behaviors (as reported by teachers) (McMahon, Todd, Martinez, Coker and Sheu 2013). Finally, a study of 765 adolescents found drug and alcohol use, low parental monitoring, academic difficulties, and involvement with antisocial peers all related to dating violence in late adolescence. This relationship was buffered by perceived neighborhood collective efficacy (Schnurr and Lohman 2013). Collective efficacy involves both the willingness of individuals in a neighborhood to work together toward a common goal, such as crime control and mutual trust. Based on the information garnered from the literature that we reviewed, we looked for these three things: patterns that emerged with oldfashioned sexism and benevolent sexism among adolescents, how adolescent sexism related to bystander intervention, and how adolescent sexism related to self-efficacy.

Sexism and Bystander Intervention

193

Method Procedures and participants A school-based program offered by Crisis Center North (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania), a domestic violence counseling and resource center, was used to recruit participants in middle and high schools in multiple school districts from urban and suburban areas. The middle school students participated in sessions about bullying, while the high school students participated in sessions about bullying and intimate partner violence. Sessions attempted to increase awareness, self-efficacy, and bystander intervention regarding various forms of school violence. Multiple-choice surveys were given to the students prior to each and after each session in which there was a presentation given discussing school violence. The post-tests were collected to evaluate effectiveness of the presentation, and for most variables, the pre-test answers were used for this analysis to avoid skewing the data. The students could attend the presentation while opting out of the study, but none did so. The 1,199 students ranged in age from 10 to 18, with an average age of 14. About half of the participants (55%) were male. The make-up of ethnicity was consistent with the demographics of the region, where most of the participants were Caucasian.

Materials We used two sexism scales for our survey, measuring each statement on a 6-point scale from zero (strongly agree) to five (strongly disagree). The first scale is the Old-fashioned sexism scale (Swim, Aikin, Hall, and Hunter 1995): 1. Women are generally not as smart as men. 2. I would be equally comfortable having a woman as a boss as a man. 3. It is more important to encourage boys than to encourage girls in athletics. 4. Women are just as capable of thinking logically as men. 5. When both parents are employed and their child is sick at school, the school should call the mother, rather than the father.

Chapter Thirteen

194

Some items were reverse coded, so higher ratings signified more sexism. The five items were summed to create the OFSS. The resulting scale had moderate internal consistency, Į = .72. The second scale we used was the Benevolent sexism scale (Glick, et al. 2000): 1. 2. 3. 4.

In a disaster, women ought to be rescued before men. Many women have a quality of purity that few men possess. Women should be protected and cherished by men. Women, compared to men, tend to have a superior moral sensibility. 5. A good woman should be put up on a pedestal by her man. Some items were reverse coded, so higher ratings signified more sexism. The five items were summed to create the BSS. The resulting scale had moderate internal consistency, Į = .67. Bystander intervention was measured with two items: 1. If a male friend or peer of mine makes rude or disrespectful comments about a girl's body, dressing, or makeup, I would try to stop him. 2. If a male friend or peer of mine is shoving, grabbing, or physically hurting a girl, I would try to stop him. Responses were on a Likert-type scale (1 = strongly disagree; 7 = strongly agree). Items were summed to create a bystander intervention scale, with higher scores indicating greater likelihood of intervention. Self-efficacy was measured by a single item: I feel confident in my ability to identify and assist victims of gender discrimination (1 = strongly disagree; 7 = strongly agree). Participants also self-reported their age, gender and race.

Results A little more than half (68%) of all the students indicated a preponderance toward old-fashioned sexism thereby exhibiting a harsher, more negative view toward women. Three-quarters of the students agreed with the statement that “women are generally not as smart as men.” While both males and females exhibited old-fashioned sexism, female students scored higher on this scale than males, believing that females were inferior. There was also a negative correlation between the old-fashioned

Sexism and Bystander Intervention

195

sexism scale and age, indicating that middle school students were more sexist than high school students. Benevolent sexism refers to more positive (but still sexist) attitudes, for example, opening doors for the fairer, more virtuous sex. While lower than the old-fashioned sexism scale, 52% of the participants also exhibited benevolent sexism. The item most frequently agreed with was "Women have a quality of purity that few men possess:" 58% of the students agreed with this statement. While male students scored higher on the scale than did female students, the difference was not statistically significant. There were no indications of a relationship between benevolent sexism and age. There was no relationship between the two types of sexism. How does this adolescent sexism relate to bystander intervention? Regardless of age, adolescents said they were more willing to intervene if a male friend or peer physically hurt (shove, grab, strike) a female (80%), than if a male friend verbally harassed (making rude or disrespectful comments about body, dress, or make-up) a female (73%). Female students scored higher on the scale than did male students, indicating greater willingness to intervene on behalf of a female student being emotionally or physically bullied at school. Overall, 77% of the students said they were willing to intervene, following the training provided by the women's center. We also found there was a positive relationship between old-fashioned sexism scale and bystander intervention and a negative relationship between bystander intervention and age. In bullying situations, middle school students were more willing to intervene than were high school students. Students who maintained negative old-fashioned sexism attitudes were more willing to intervene than were students who assume gender equality. The benevolent sexism was unrelated to bystander intervention. Self-efficacy refers to the confidence in one’s ability to identify and assist victims of gender discrimination. Following the training, students were somewhat more confident in their ability, showing self-efficacy positively related to old-fashioned sexism and negatively related to age. Not surprisingly, self-efficacy emerged as the strongest predictor of bystander intervention. There was no gender difference in self-efficacy and no relationship between the benevolent sexism scale and self-efficacy. These findings present an ironic and somewhat disturbing relationship between sexism and bystander intervention. Programs around the world have documented success with bystander intervention programs, changing attitudes about bullying, even reducing observable instances of school bullying. As U.S. schools are mandated to provide bullying/school violence programs, partnerships with women's

196

Chapter Thirteen

centers are becoming more common. Such programs often focus on violence awareness, attitudes about women (including sexism), and bystander intervention. Findings from the current study suggest such programs could be at cross purposes. No one is suggesting school programs should increase bystander intervention by instilling sexist attitudes, but the findings provide a cautionary tale against narrowly focused programming. Previous findings have already documented that awareness-only programs are less effective than bystander intervention programs at changing attitudes and reducing violent incidents. Findings that adolescent girls are more sexist than adolescent boys should also dissuade bystander intervention-only programs. The current findings suggest programming with a broader scope, addressing knowledge, attitudes, and bystander intervention would be most effective. Additional research should include observational data or school incident-report data to further document the efficacy of such programs. Previous findings suggest elementary school programs may have the largest impact. While the current findings were limited to middle school and high school students, the inverse relationship with age, old-fashioned sexism, bystander intervention and self-efficacy suggests this may also be the case with broader-scoped programming. Additional research would be required to confirm this. Bullying and school violence have been present since schools existed. Technological advancements magnify the capabilities of bullies and widen the spectatorship and the potential impact. The most important step is the first one. Schools that have not yet integrated violence prevention education into the curriculum should do so. Among all the academic and free resources available from local women's centers, cost-effective, comprehensive programs are easier to launch than ever and are well worth the effort.

References Barhight, Lydia, Julie Hubbard and Christopher Hyde. “Children's Psychological and Emotional Reactions to Witnessing Bullying Predict Bystander Intervention.” Child Development 84(2013): 375-390. Barron, Joseph, Struckman-Johnson, Cindy, Quevillon, Randal, and Banka, Sarah. “Heterosexual Men's Attitudes Toward Gay Men: A Hierarchical Model Including Masculinity, Openness, and Theoretical Explanations.” Psychology of Men & Masculinity 9(2008): 154-166.

Sexism and Bystander Intervention

197

Becker, Julia. “Why Do Women Endorse Hostile and Benevolent Sexism? The Role of Salient Female Subtypes and Internalization of Sexist Contents.” Sex Roles 62(2010): 453-467. Becker, Julia, and Janet Swim. “Reducing Endorsement of Benevolent and Modern Sexist Beliefs: Differential Effects of Addressing Harm Versus Pervasiveness of Benevolent Sexism.” Social Psychology 43(2012): 127-137. Begany, Joseph, and Michael Milburn. “Psychological Predictors of Sexual Harassment: Authoritarianism, Hostile Sexism, and Rape Myths.” Psychology of Men & Masculinity 3(2002):119-126. Benson, Peter and Steven Vincent. “Development and Validation of the Sexist Attitudes Toward Women Scale (SATWS).” Psychology of Women Quarterly 5(1980): 276-291. Chapin, John. “Optimistic Bias on the Front Line: Emergency Medical Personnel and Domestic Violence Screening.” International Journal of Interdisciplinary Social Sciences 1(2006): 183-187. Cismaru, Magdalena. “Encouraging Bystanders to Help in Stopping Violence Against Children.” International Journal of Nonprofit and Voluntary Sector Marketing, 18(2013): 7-17. Coffman, Maren, Juliette Shellman, and Henrietta Bernal. “An Integrative Review of American Nurses’ Perceived Cultural Self-efficacy.” Journal of Nursing Scholarship 36(2004): 180-185. Connelly, Kathleen and Martin Heesacker. “Why is Benevolent Sexism Appealing? Associations with System Justification and Life Satisfaction.” Psychology of Women Quarterly 00(2012): 1-12. de Becker, Gavin. The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence. New York: Dell, 1999. Forbes, Gordon, Leah Adams-Curtis, and Kay White. “First and Secondgeneration Measures of Sexism, Rape Myths and Related Beliefs, and Hostility Toward Women.” Violence Against Women 10(2004): 236261. Foubert, John and Ryan Masin. “Effects of the Men's Program on U.S. Army Soldier's Intentions to Commit and willingness to Intervene to Prevent Rape: A Pretest Posttest Study.” Violence and Victims 27(2012): 911-921. Freis, Stephanie and Regan Gurung. “A Facebook Analysis of Helping Behavior in Online Bullying.” Psychology of Popular Media Culture 2(2013): 11-19. Frey, K.arin, Miriam Hirschstein, Jennie Snell, Leihua Edstrom, Elizabeth Mackenzie, and Carole Broderick. “Reducing Playground Bullying and

198

Chapter Thirteen

Supporting Beliefs: An Experimental Trial of the Steps to Respect Program.”Developmental Psychology, 41(2005): 479-491. Glick, Peter, and Fiske, Susan. “The Ambivalent Sexism Inventory: Differentiating Hostile and Benevolent Sexism.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 70(1996): 491-512. Glick, Peter, Susan Fiske, Antonio Mladinic, Jose Saiz, Dominic Abrams, Barbara Masser et al. “Beyond Prejudice as Simple Antipathy: Hostile and Benevolent Sexism Across Cultures.” 79(2000): 763-775. Godin, Gaston, Jose Cote, Naccache, Hermine., Lambert, LD. and Trottier, S. “Prediction of Adherence to Antiretroviral Therapy: A One-year Longitudinal Study,.” AIDS Care 17(2005): 493-497. Hall, Judith and Jason Carter. “Gender-stereotype Accuracy as an Individual Difference.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 77(1999): 350-359. Herzog, Sergio. “The Lenient Social and Legal Response to Trafficking in Women: An Empirical Analysis of Public Perceptions in Israel.” Journal of Contemporary Criminal Justice 24(2008): 314-333. —. “An Empirical Test of Feminist Theory and Research: The Effect of Heterogeneous Gender-role Attitudes on Perceptions of Intimate Partner Violence.” Feminist Criminology 2(2007): 223-244. Jean, Paula and Cecil Reynolds. “Development of the Bias in Attitudes Survey: A Sex-role Questionnaire.” The Journal of Psychology 104(1980): 269-277. Kerzner, Stephen. “The Crucial Role of the "Third" in Bully/victim Dynamics.” Psychoanalytic Inquiry 33(2013): 116-123. Lila, Marisol, Oliver, Amparo, Galiana, Laura and Enrique Gracia, E. “Predicting Success Indicators of an Intervention Programme for Convicted Intimate-partner Violence Offenders: The Contexto Programme.” The European Journal of Psychology Applied to Legal Context 5(2013): 73-95. Lockwood Harris, Kate, Kellie Palazzolo, and Matthew Savage. “'I'm not Sexist, but...': How Ideological Dilemmas Reinforce Sexism in Talk about Intimate Partner Violence.” Discourse & Society 23(2012): 643656. Lonsway, Kimberly, Lilia Cortina, and Vicki Magley. “Sexual Harassment Mythology: Definition, Conceptualization, and Measurement.” Sex Roles 58(2008): 599-615. Machackova, Hana, Lenka Dedkova, Anna Sevikova, and Alena Cerna. “Bystanders' Support of Cyber-bullied Schoolmates.” Journal of Community and Applied Social Psychology 23(2013): 25-36.

Sexism and Bystander Intervention

199

McMahon, Sarah and Alexandria Dick. “Being in a Room with Likeminded Men": An Exploratory Study of Men's Participation in a Bystander Intervention Program to Prevent Intimate Partner Violence.” The Journal of Men's Studies 19(2011): 3-18. McMahon, Susan, Nathan Todd, Andrew Martinez, Crystal Coker, and Ching Fan Sheu. “Aggressive and Prosocial Behavior: Community Violence, Cognitive, and Behavioral Predictors among Urban African American Youth.” American Journal of Community Psychology 51(2013): 407-421. McConahay, John. “Modern Racism and Modern Discrimination the Effects of Race, Racial Attitudes, and Context on Simulated Hiring Decisions.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 9(1983):551558. Morisset, Nolwenn, Florence Terrade, and Alan Somat. “Perceived Selfefficacy and Risky Driving Behaviors: The Mediating Role of Subjective Risk Judgment.” Swiss Journal of Psychology 69(2010): 233-238. Nation, Maury, Cindy Crusto, Abraham Wandersman, Karol Kumpfer, K., Diana Seybolt, ErinMorrissey-Kane, and Katrina Davino. “What Works in Prevention: Principles of Effective Prevention Programs” American Psychologist, 58(2003): 339-456. National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. “Domestic Violence Fact Sheet.” NCADV,2013. Accessed October 4, 2016. http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet%28National% 29.pdf O'Connor, Maureen, Barbara Gutek, Margaret Stockdale, Tracey Geer, and Renee Melancon. “Explaining Sexual Harassment Judgments: Looking Beyond Gender of the Rater,” Law and Human Behavior 28(2004): 69-95. Parks, Janet and Mary Ann Roberton. “Development and Validation of an Instrument to Measure Attitudes toward Sexist/nonsexist Language.” Sex Roles 42(2000): 415-438. Polanin, Joshua, Dorothy Espelage, and Theresa Pigott. “Symbolic Racism.” Eliminating Racism: Profiles in Controversy (1988): 53-84 Sarrasin, Oriane, Ute Gabriel, and Pascal Gygax. “Sexism and Attitudes toward Gender-neutral Languages: The Case of English, French and German.” Swiss Journal of Psychology 71(2012): 113-124. Schnurr, Melissa and Brenda Lohman. “The Impact of Collective Efficacy on Risks for Adolescents' Perpetration of Dating Violence.” Journal of Youth and Adolescence 42(2013): 518-535.

200

Chapter Thirteen

Sims, Barbara, Katherine Scarborough, and Janice Ahmad. “The Relationship Between Police Officers' Attitudes toward Women and Perceptions of Police Models.” Police Quarterly, 6(2003): 278-297. Swim, Janet, Kathryn Aikin, Wayne Hall, and Barbara Hunter. “Sexism and Racism: Old-fashioned and Modern Prejudices.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 68(1995): 199-214. Tai, Wei-Tao. “Effects of Training Framing, General Self-efficacy and Training Motivation on Trainees’ Training Effectiveness.” Personnel Review 35(2006): 51-65. Thornberg, Robert and Thomas Jungert. “Bystander Behavior in Bullying Situations: Basic Moral Sensitivity, Moral Disengagement and Defender Self-efficacy.” Journal of Adolescence 36(2013): 475-483. Vernet, Jean-Pierre, Jorge Vala, Ligia Amancio, and Fabricio Butera. “Concientization of Social Cryptomnesia Reduces Hostile Sexism and Rejection of Feminists.” Social Psychology 40(2009): 130137. Wiener, Richard, Roni Peiter-Palmon, Ryan Winter, Erin Richter, and Amy Humke. “Complainant Behavioral Tone, Ambivalent Sexism, and Perceptions of Sexual Harassment.” Psychology, Public Policy and Law 16(2010): 56-84.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN GENDER QUOTAS: DO THEY ACCELERATE WORKPLACE DIVERSITY? FRANZISKA SCHMITT AND ALLISON WEIDHAAS

Around the world today, women are still underrepresented in the workforce, even though the number of women with jobs rose from 34% in 1950 to 60% today (Catalyst 2016). Even in countries such as Germany, where women’s participation in the workforce has seen a small but steady increase since 1995, women’s labor only represents 40% of the work performed (Brenke 2015). In Germany, women typically work part time (Brenke 2015), which is in part due to cultural gender constraints, such as historical patriarchal gender roles and a lack of affordable childcare (Bennhold 2011). Thus, despite progress, workplace gender inequality still exists. At the highest organizational levels, women hold only 19.2% of S&P 500 board seats (Catalyst 2016). Further, it will take 81 years to reach global gender parity in the workplace, based on health and survival, economic opportunity and participation, political empowerment, and education (Zahidi 2014). To counteract the slow march to reach gender parity in the workforce, Europe implemented quotas for women. France, the Netherlands, Italy, Norway and other European countries already have a legal quota. Germany passed a law in March 2015 that requires, as of January 1, 2016, all top 100 companies must have 30% women in supervisory boards (Smale and Cain Miller 2015). Germany introduced the quota to increase the number of women in leadership roles and as a step toward gender equality. While the gender quota compels companies to examine gender inequality, cultural norms, such as forward thinking, precision, hard work, and order may impact the quota’s success. Indeed, the effects of the quota

202

Chapter Fourteen

should go beyond company policies and ideally contribute to more gender equality in German society. This chapter examines Germany’s introduction of a gender quota and questions if the quota will accelerate a diverse workforce.

Gender and diversity Today, gender scholars distinguish gender from biological characteristics and instead consider it as something preformed in relationships. This performance includes socially accepted ideas about masculinity and femininity. It defines men and women by their social views and opinions and not by their biological gender (Ott 2011). Scholars frequently examine gender as part of the broad category of diversity, which gets defined in a variety of ways. According to one scholar, "Diversity includes all characteristics and experiences that define each of us as individuals” (Mor Barak 2016, 126). Mor Barak (2016) further defines diversity with differences in gender, race, ethnicity, religion, physical disability, sexual orientation, and age. Becker and Seidel (2006) describe diversity management as differences in gender, race, age, ethnicity, cultural values and experiences, sexual orientation, religion, cultural background and job roles. Diversity can be organized into four interdependent and sometimes overlapping aspects: “Workforce Diversity, Behavioral Diversity, Structural Diversity, and Business and Global Diversity” (Hubbard 2004, 8). Moreover, workforce diversity is the implementation of a diverse workforce that supports people with different ideas, leads to the development of innovative products and to a competitive business advantage (Forbes 2011). In general, gender diversity is about gender equality and equal opportunities. The goal is the consideration of the social gender, the benefit of gender values, behaviors, circumstances and preferences (Gender Kompetenz Zentrum 2015).

The gender quota in Germany For years, scholars have recognized the importance of the many aspects of diversity, including gender, and in recent years, we have also noted a parallel interest by corporations and governments. One recent initiative pushed gender to the forefront of German politics with the initiation of a quota to increase the number of women in leadership positions. Previously, fewer than 20% of the positions on German

Gender Quotas: Do They Accelerate Workplace Diversity?

203

corporate boards were held by women (Smale and Cain Miller 2015). The amount of women on supervisory boards between 2005 and 2010 was around 10%. In 2010, the discussions about a gender quota ignited into a national debate after Deutsche Telekom, the first publicly listed German company, introduced it (Holst 2012). In response, German companies were threatened and started to take action (Rayasam 2016). Thus, in 2015, the number of German women board members increased to 8.9% (Bundesministerium fuer Familie, Senioren, Frauen und Jugend 2015). To accelerate the more diverse workforce, the previously discussed German law Act on Equal Participation of Women and Men regarding Leadership Positions within the Sectors of Private Economy and Public Service (Deutscher Bundestag, 2015, 1) was passed on March 6, 2015 by the German parliament. Beginning on January 1, 2015, German companies were required to give 30% of supervisory seats to women. Approximately 3,500 German companies that are either publicly listed on a stock exchange or co-determinant must follow the law (Deutscher Bundestag 2015).

Advantages and disadvantages of the gender quota Research (Kay and Shipman 2014) indicates women often lack the confidence to communicate about their success and thus miss out on opportunities. Therefore, the women’s quota should act as an equalizer to level the playing field and ensure women are rewarded for their talents. In fact, 60% of university graduates in Europe are women, but women only occupy 13.7% of top management positions (Kanter 2012). Further, a higher percentage of women in the workforce improves companies’ performance, the work atmosphere and financial returns (Kraemer 2011). Indeed, the financial performance for gender diverse companies is 15% above the national industry median. Also, a gender diverse workforce will lead to sustainable positions on corporate boards for women and the expansion of internal development programs (Hunt, Layton and Prince 2015). German companies will have greater competitive advantages and the implementation of a gender quota increases the awareness of an unequal workforce. Indeed, it has clearly already changed conversations in the German workforce and has put diversity on the agenda of many businesses. Thus, the women quota is a very promising action for Germany. However, to recognize the benefits of the gender quota, individual companies must reevaluate the opportunities for women as well as working conditions and structural workplace policies (KPMG AG 2014).

204

Chapter Fourteen

Despite all the above-listed positive aspects, the gender quota also raises concerns. Some people fear a quota to favor one sex will discriminate against the other sex. If women are appointed to leadership positions only because of their gender, the approach could discriminate against qualified men (Rossenbach 2014). While the quota has implications for existing businesses, it may also deter individuals from starting a business, as they consider that a gender quota could impact future hiring decisions. This may be especially significant in industries that attract a disproportionate number of men, such as startups in manufacturing or construction. If companies hire women because of their gender, there is also a danger that these women will be stigmatized as token women creating a negative work environment. Additionally, many business executives claim there are not enough suitably qualified women. As a result, the government requests businesses show actions in developing female talents, for example by implementing training programs for women. Another potential issue is that for generations women have been encouraged to focus on domestic matters, and women may not want to build a career, preferring instead to focus solely on children and family life (KPMG AG 2014). However, German society nowadays accepts that women can chose both family and career, and the government actively supports this through the implementation of structural changes to assist women. In fact, a 2013 law guarantees German children over 12 months of age a slot at a childcare facility (Heine 2013). KPMG AG (2014) reported barriers for women to supervisory positions were limited only to the lack of operational experience on boards and their personal networks.

Discussion The gender quota will improve the situation for women in the German workforce, but it will take time to be successful. This is mainly because Germany’s culture is slowing the process down. Until 1977, women in western Germany had to ask their husbands for permission to work. The women in the post-second world war generation had to be stay-at-home mums. Vestiges of these cultural norms still manifest in structural constraints that inhibit women’s involvement in the workforce. For example, the implementation of a daycare law that guarantees a slot is only wishful thinking. The infrastructure is not in place to accommodate all children; many daycare centers cannot find employees because they are underpaid. To further complicate the childcare situation, most German schools end around lunchtime (Heine 2013). Further, Germany struggles with unequal pay and workplace discrimination.

Gender Quotas: Do They Accelerate Workplace Diversity?

205

To what extent quotas will impact women’s involvement in the workforce remains to be seen. However, the introduction of a quota increases the awareness for the existing inequality. For example, the Böckler Foundation found that public opinion is currently having an impact on German businesses, and managers have started thinking about taking action for a more gender diverse workforce. In 2010, there were about 10% of women on supervisory boards; after the discussions about a new gender quota, the percentage rose to 22% (Rayasam 2016). Moreover, the quota will and already does make a difference because it changed the conversation in German companies. It forced executives to start thinking about the issue. For example, Daimler’s CEO Dieter Zetsche set an internal goal to double women in leadership positions from 10% to 20% by 2020 (Spiegel Staff 2013). The question remains, however, if the quota will be a ceiling for businesses to stop actions or if the gender quota will be the start of a significant cultural change. There is a major demand in German society for more gender diversity that will drive creativity and support people with different ideas as a way to compete in socioeconomic markets. While the gender quota is one aspect, it will only work if businesses implement diversity management policies and programs. The German Justice Minister Heiko Maas believes it will have a significant impact; he said it was “‘the greatest contribution to gender equality since women got the vote’ in Germany in 1918.” (Smale and Cain Miller 2015, paragraph 6). While we can only truly answer questions about seismic cultural shifts retrospectively, for now, we can conclude that German society recognizes the need for greater acceptance of gender diversity and is taking steps to move in that direction.

References Becker, Manfred, and Alina Seidel. 2006. Diversity Management Unternehmens und Personalpolitik Vielfalt. Stuttgart: Schäffer Poeschel Verlag. Bennhold, Katrin. 2011. “Women Nudged Out of German Workforce. Special Report: The Female Factor.” New York Times, June 28. Accessed September 4, 2016 http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/29/ world/europe/29iht-FFgermany29.html?_r=0. Brenke, Karl. 2015. “Growing Importance of Women in the German Labor Market.” DIW Economic Bulletin: 5, 51-61. Accessed September 4, 2016 https://www.diw.de/documents/publikationen/73/diw_01.c.4959 14.de/diw_econ_bull_2015-05-1.pdf.

206

Chapter Fourteen

Bundesministerium fuer Familie, Senioren, Frauen und Jugend. 2015. “Fragen und Antworten zu dem Gesetz für die gleichberechtigte Teilhabe von Frauen und Männern an Führungspositionen in der Privatwirtschaft und im öffentlichen Dienst.” Last modified May 13. Accessed September 4, 2016 http://www.bmfsfj.de/RedaktionBMFSFJ/Abteilung4/PdfAnlagen/FAQ-gesetzfrauenquote,property=pdf, bereich=bmfsfj,sprache=de,rwb=true.pdf. Catalyst. 2016. “Women in S&P 500 Companies.” Last modified July 26. Accessed September 4, 2016 http://www.catalyst.org/knowledge/women-sp-500-companies. Deutscher Bundestag. 2015. “Gesetz für die gleichberechtigte Teilhabe von Frauen und Männern an Führungspositionen in der Privatwirtschaft und im öffentlichen Dienst.” Last modified May 1. Accessed September 4, 2016 http://dipbt.bundestag.de/extrakt/ba/WP18/643/64384.html. Forbes. 2011. “Global Diversity and Inclusion. Fostering Innovation Through a Diverse Workforce.” Forbes Insights. Accessed September 4, 2016 http://images.forbes.com/forbesinsights/StudyPDFs/Innovation_Throu gh_Diversity.pdf. Gender Kompetenz Zentrum. 2015. “Gender Mainstreaming und Diversity Management”. Accessed September 4, 2016 http://www.genderkompet enz.info/w/files/gkompzpdf/gm_dm.pdf. Heine, Frederike. 2013. “Birth Rate Boom? Germany Promises Daycare for All.” Spiegel Online, August 1. Accessed September 4, 2016 http://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/law-goes-into-effectrequiring-child-care-for-most-german-children-a-914320.html. Hubbard, Edward E. 2004. Implementing Diversity Measurement and Management. Petaluma, California: Global Insights Publishing. Hunt, Vivian, Dennis Layton and Sara Prince. 2015. “Diversity Matters”. McKinsey & Company, February 2. Accessed September 4, 2016 http://www.mckinsey.com/business-functions/organization/ourinsights/why-diversity-matters. Kanter, James. 2012. “EU Considers Quota for Women in Boardrooms.” The New York Times, March 4. Accessed September 4, 2016 http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/05/business/global/eu-considersquotas-for-women-in-boardrooms.html?_r=0. Kay, Katty and Claire Shipman. 2014. “The Confidence Gap.” The Atlantic Magazine, May 2014 Issue. Accessed September 4, 2016 www.theatlanticom/magazine/archive/2014/05/the-confidence-

Gender Quotas: Do They Accelerate Workplace Diversity?

207

gap/359815/. KPMG AG. 2014. Frauenquote in Aufsichtsrat und Vorstand. KPMG fragt nach. Accesssed September 4, 2016 http://www.kpmg.com/DE/de/Documents/diskussionspapierfrauenquote-kpmg-2014.pdf. Kraemer, Anne. 2011. “Diversity: Frauen – die besseren Manager?” Harvard Business Manager, November 16. Accessed September 4, 2016 http://www.harvardbusinessmanager.de/blogs/a-797984.html. Mor Barak, Michàlle E. 2014. Managing Diversity: Toward a Globally Inclusive Workplace (3rd ed.). Thousand Oaks, Calif: Sage Publications. Ott, Miriam B. 2011. “Gender Diversity and Environmental Performance. A Quantitative Assessment.” Journal of Politic Inquiry 4. Accessed September 4, 2016 http://www.jpinyu.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/gender-diversityand-environmental-performance1.pdf. Rossenbach, Henrike. 2014. “Geschlechterdebatte. Oh Mann!” Frankfurter Allgemeine, December 1. Accessed September 4, 2016 http://www.faz.net/aktuell/wirtschaft/wirtschaftspolitik/fuehrtfrauenfoerderung-und-frauenquote-zu-maennerdiskriminierung13292063.html. Rayasam, Renuka. 2016. “Why Germany’s New Quota For Women Looks Like a Bust.” Fortune, March 11. Accessed September 4, 2016. http://fortune.com/2016/03/11/germany-board-quota-women/. Smale, Alison and Claire Cain Miller. 2015. “Germany Sets Gender Quota in Boardrooms.” The New York Times, March 6. Accessed September 4, 2016 http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/07/world/europe/germanlaw-requires-more-women-on-corporate-boards.html?_r=0. Spiegel Staff. 2013. “Gender Quotas: How German Firms help Women Get Ahead.” Spiegel Online, November 26. Accessed September 4, 2016 http://www.spiegel.de/international/business/gender-quota-preparationsat-top-german-companies-a-935505.html. Zahidi, Saadia. 2014. “2095: The Year of Gender Equality in the Workplace, Maybe.” The World Economic Forum, October 28. Accessed September 4, 2016 https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2014/ 10/2095-year-gender-equality-work-maybe/

CHAPTER FIFTEEN A FEMINIST APPROACH TO GENDER STEREOTYPES FOUND IN REALITY TELEVISION SHOWS SISTER WIVES AND 19 KIDS & COUNTING CHELSEA CANADY

Introduction The impact of reality television on viewers is increasing. Shows like The Real Housewives, The Hills, and Jersey Shore paint an unrealistic picture of society, potentially creating impractical expectations among viewers. In a paper called ”A Snookie Effect,” researchers from the University of Wisconsin found that shows that are designed to be “real” actually negatively impact the way the viewers’ think of the world. For example, the researchers found that audience members who watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians were more likely to report that the backstabbing and bickering that takes place between the sisters is normal. What may appear “normal” on the show may just be what the researchers of the above-named study observed, that is, the producers of reality television shows often use various tricks to keep the viewers entertained and stay drawn to the show (Ross 2013). Women in reality television are faced with stereotypes that viewers see as entertaining and normal for in American culture. Women in these reality television shows are seen as dependent, subordinate, dim-witted, and sex-symbols that do housework (Swantek 2014). These stereotypes limit women’s potential and they are offensive to the progress of females in today’s society. There is also a continuous theme in reality television that limits women to a household setting, which reinforces the stereotype that the main female roles exist inside the home. As established by modern society, women’s roles extend much farther than these limits suggested by reality television (Swantek 2014).

Reality Television Shows Sister Wives and 19 Kids & Counting

209

Gender stereotypes and marriage The self-fulfilling prophecy is a belief that prompts a person to behave in a way that makes a certain thing true and effective (Camussi and Laccardi 2005). In the case of stereotypes, women tend to behave as others expect them to, thereby transforming the beliefs and opinions they have about themselves in order to make them consistent with their behavior. Consequently, the stereotypic beliefs about women can provoke processes of distorted perception and discriminatory treatment. Also, the fact that people relate these stereotypic expectations to themselves leads to the assumption that they have internalized these gender roles in a prescriptive way. Some women may find it difficult to combine personal life and a committed career since women who succeed in both are seen as not true women because they counter the prevailing stereotypes and often face backlash (Camussi and Laccardi 2005). When it comes to leadership in marriage, men traditionally assume the dominant role while women take over the follower role. Research was done to test the hypothesis that these leader and follower roles determine the way in which gender stereotype traits are assigned to men and women. It was shown that traits of a leader are more associated with males and followers associated with females (Gerber 1988). In more recent years more of these gender stereotypes are being challenged, because women are starting to work outside of the home and are becoming more independent. However, women are still expected to take care of the kids and do the house work while working outside of the home. Why are women in these reality television shows expected to take care of home responsibilities, as well as the children, elderly parents, and sometimes also work outside of the home?

Background Reality television Reality television came to be in 1970s with the first show called An American Family. This show was a documentary about the Loud family in Santa Barbara, California. The American audience quickly became fascinated with this family because the Loud family showed them a version of their own reality. This show was introduced during a hard time in America, when cultural, political, and economic issues were increasingly becoming part of the public discourse in the 1970s. As a result of these issues, this family displayed problems that troubled many

210

Chapter Fifteen

Americans including marriage, capitalism, and the American Dream. An American Family sets the stage for what reality television would come to be and reveals what viewers really wanted--drama. It helped set the stage for reality television shows such as The Bachelor and Flavor of Love (Glouner, Flores and Tomback n.d). Reality television has continued to push the limits of television, with shows that test the boundaries of today’s society. For example, Sister Wives and 19 Kids and Counting are among those that push boundaries. Sister Wives is a show that introduces the polygamist lifestyle into today’s society. This show features Kody Brown with his four wives and their combined seventeen children. In the first episode called “Meet Kody and the Wives,” the viewers are introduced to Kody and his three wives, Meri, wife one, Janelle, wife two, Christine, wife three, and later Robin, wife four (not shown in first episode). This family is just like a typical one, however there is one husband and four wives. This family is one of the two types of families that was looked at in this study. This family is known to break stereotypes of a polygamist family. Meri is a mom of one child and is going to school for social work. Janelle has six children and she has a full time job as well. Christine is a stay at home mom of five with one on the way(Gibbons, Hayes, Poole, Streb and Wilcher 2010). Reality television has also pushed the limits with the show 19 Kids and Counting. TLC started this show in 2004 with a documentary called 14 Children and Pregnant Again about a large conservative family, the Duggars. In 2008, the Duggars ended up with their own show called 17 Kids and Counting, then 18 Kids and Counting, and now 19 Kids and Counting. This show is about the activities of the Duggars and their large family in their Arkansas home. The parents are Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar with their ten boys and nine girls. The Duggars practice a strong Independent Baptist religion. Their children wear conservative clothing. For example, girls wear long dresses and modest swimsuits that cover the majority of their bodies. The episode that was examined is from season two of 18 Kids and Counting called “O’ Come all Ye Diggers.” In this episode, the Duggar family is invited to be in the Christmas parade as part of the nativity scene. The second episode examined is from season three of 18 Kids and Counting called, “Duggars’ New Addition,” in which the family decides to make a huge slip ‘n’ ‘slide with a tarp and dish soap. The kids are dressed in their modest swimsuits enjoying the fun when their mom has some exciting news; they are expecting another child. Some kids are excited and others don’t seem interested in the news of getting another sibling (Hayes, Wilcher, Streband and Overbeeke 1999).

Reality Television Shows Sister Wives and 19 Kids & Counting

211

Religious beliefs: Conservative families Conservative families, more specifically, Independent Fundamental Baptists (IFB), are Christian congregations who generally hold conservative Baptist beliefs. The Independent Baptist tradition began in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. The name IFB is used by churches that arrange themselves strictly after the example of the early church, as found in the New Testament (Overview of the IFB Church 2013). Each IFB church is solely independent and free from an outside authority. Its pastor is appointed and he speaks for God, and God alone may judge him. Only men are suited to be the head of household and the church. Women must please God by remaining flawlessly submissive, first to their fathers and then to their husbands. The primary meaning of a woman is to have children. It is sinful for a woman to dress in any way that might cause a man to “spiritually stumble” by having a lustful thought. Educating children at home or in IFB schools is required in order to protect them from the knowledge and the ways of a fallen and thus corrupt world in today’s society (Shore 2015).

Religious beliefs: Polygamist families Polygamy, also known as plural marriage, is when one man has more than one wife at the same time. In the 1840s, plural marriage was practiced by members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Only the church president could hold these marriages, and in 1890 the church president, Wilford Woodruff, ended the practice of plural marriages in the church. After this event, monogamy was encouraged in the church. The church identified one reason for God to command it and that was to increase the number of children born in the gospel covenant. Plural marriage did result in the birth of large numbers of children. For these early Latter-day Saints, plural marriage was a religious principle that required personal sacrifice. Stories told by men and women who practiced plural marriage described the challenges and difficulties they experienced with this lifestyle such as financial difficulty, interpersonal conflict, and some wives’ wanting companionship from their husbands. However, there were also stories about the love and joy that many families found with plural marriages. These families believed it was God’s commandment and that obedience would bring them great blessings. According to this understanding, women were free to choose their own husbands as well as if they wanted to enter into a polygamous or monogamous lifestyle (Plural Marriage and Families in Early Utah 2012).

212

Chapter Fifteen

The understanding of plural marriage toward the end of the 19th century was different from earlier decades. Beginning in 1862, the U.S. government passed laws against the practice of plural marriage. Latter-day Saints believed these laws to be unreasonable. They continued to practice plural marriage and tried to avoid getting arrested. When they were found guilty of plural marriage, they paid fines and surrendered to jail time. Plural wives would often go into hiding to help their husbands avoid getting caught. This church had developed strong and loyal members, however, the members started to change. By the start of the 1890s, members outside the United States were asked to increase the church sizes in their homelands of Europe, rather than move to Utah in the U.S. As the church grew and started to spread beyond Utah, plural marriages became more popular (Plural Marriage and Families in Early Utah 2012).

Critical Feminist theory Critical feminist theory came from two academic areas: critical theories and feminist theories. To understand the critical feminist theory, you must have knowledge of and understanding in both critical and feminist backgrounds. Critical theories identify dominant structures and practices that construct or sustain disadvantages, inequality, or oppression, deconstruct them and then suggest alternatives that promote more equalitarian opportunities for individuals and society as a whole (Braithwaite and Baxter 2006). Feminist theories are influenced by media misrepresentations of feminism and feminists. “Feminism is the belief that men and women are equal and should have equal respect and opportunities in all spheres of life: work, personal, social, and public.” Feminists aim to identify, critique, and change inequalities and discrimination based on sex and gender (Braithwaite and Baxter 2006, 199). The second concept of feminist theories is the term patriarchy, a system where men are the head of the household and hold all the power. These theories note that many cultures were organized predominately by white, heterosexual males that relied on their experiences, needs, perspectives, and preferences to order society. As a result, our society is set up in ways that do not fully reflect or acknowledge women’s or minorities’ experiences, needs, perspectives, and preferences. However, these theories do not think that men deliberately organize society to oppress women and minorities (Braithwaite and Baxter 2006, 200). Critical feminist theories also raise the question, “Why are women expected to provide most of the maintenance for the household?” Studies

Reality Television Shows Sister Wives and 19 Kids & Counting

213

have documented the perseverance of gendered patterns in caregiving, where women do the majority of the housework, even if they do work outside the home. In most upper or middle class heterosexual families, the marriage would remain intact when the male would work outside of the home, the female would stay home and do all the housework/caregiving for the children; this is no longer practical. In most heterosexual households now-a-days, you have both that will bring in an income. Nonetheless, despite these changes, most of the housework and caregiving is still done by the women. This is known as “second shift,” where women go to work, come home, and then do all the household chores (Braithwaite and Baxter 2006, 2005). We now see more families adopting the non-traditional marriage roles; however, some families still live by the traditional marriage roles. Families like the Duggars follow the traditional marriage roles of the women taking care of the children/home, while the men do the yard work and building. We see these traditional marriage roles when Michelle Duggar is the caretaker of the family and the home, with the help of the female kids. Jim Bob has help from the boys with building their new house and a new basketball court. There is an episode in the Duggar’s show that highlights Jim Bob making a slip ‘n’ slide for the kids. The middle aged kids are having fun, while the older females are taking care of their younger siblings and watching the others have fun. These traditional gender roles are very apparent in this family. This family structure embodies many of the issues related to gender stereotyping that critical feminist theory points out. The Duggars follow traditional gender and marriage stereotypes. They live by socially constructed ideas of how each gender should act and live. On the other hand, families like the Brown’s live mostly by the nontraditional marriage roles. The nontraditional role is that Kody has multiple wives and Janelle works outside the home. Another wife, Meri, is taking college classes online so she can get a job that she loves. However, the third wife, Christine, loves talking care of the children. That is her part in the family. This family works as a unit and help each other out with things that need to get done. In one episode, the family is outside doing yardwork together. You can see that both males and females are doing yardwork and going against the typical gender roles. This family goes with the critical feminist theory, because they challenge the overall traditional gender and marriage roles constructed by society. They still follow some gender and marriage roles but challenge them in other ways as illustrated by the above stated example.

214

Chapter Fifteen

Method The data used for this study was collected by using focus group interviews. A total of eight faculty and twenty-eight students were recruited from a state university in the Midwest of the United States to participate in a total of six focus groups, with six participants in each. These focus groups took place in February and March of 2013. At the beginning of each focus group, the participants were shown either an episode of Sister Wives called “Meet Kody and the Wives” or two episodes of the Duggar family series, 18 Kids and Counting called “O Come All Ye Duggars” and “Duggars’ New Additions.” After a short break, the focus groups got back together for semi-structured interviews led by a research member. One member took notes during the interviews, which were video and audio-taped then transcribed later on. During the interview, participants discussed reality television in general to get warmed up, then they were guided to discuss the shows they saw. After completion of the transcription, the researcher read the transcripts and established a list of categories and themes that emerged from the data.. These themes describe the ways the participants made comparisons between the reality television families and real-world family situations. Then the researcher went back into the transcriptions and developed codes. The table below lists the codes and the total number of instances coded across all transcripts. Using a critical feminist theoretical framework, the following categories were devolved from the coding scheme, namely: religion/values, traditional marriage roles/patriarchy, gender roles, miscommunication, and nontraditional marriage role. Table 1: Critical Feminist themes coded from transcripts Theme Religion/Values (Gender Stereotypes) Traditional Marriage Roles/Patriarchy Gender Roles (Parent vs. Child) Miscommunication Nontraditional Gender/Marriage Roles

Average Count 16 15 14 12 11

Results Participants in the focus groups have all reported watching some sort of reality television show. These participants all agreed that reality television is staged, scripted, dramatized, and entertaining. After watching

Reality Television Shows Sister Wives and 19 Kids & Counting

215

episodes of 19 Kids and Counting or Sister Wives, the participants described these shows as informative, culturally stimulating, educational, and eye opening.

Religion/values (gender stereotypes) Gender stereotypes based on the religious values of polygamy and conservativism were quite apparent in this study. Participants talked about how the Duggars lived by the conservative Christian roles by saying, “the girls are in the house…in the kitchen or taking care of the kids while the boys are playing. So it’s just like a stereotypical conservative family.” The study also brought up religious stereotypes. As one participant said, “Religious stereotypes? Yes, I would say it does give you like an extreme version of a southern religious family that does not believe in birth control or abstinence. I feel like there are probably conservative families that really don’t like this show, because they feel like it paints their views and lifestyle choices in a specific way.” Another participant said that they grew up with Midwestern Christian values, but they felt that the Duggar’s took it a little too far. They said, “Conservative Christian families that home-school their kids…have these modesty swimsuits…. family A is just like family B….I’ve known families like that and you just want to shake the kids like come outside! Play!” Critical feminist theory looks at how “cultural structures and practices shape the lives of members of a culture and how member lives shape cultural structures and practices.” With each of these families, you can see how their religious values shape their lives and belief systems throughout the episodes. Critical theorists also want to understand how oppressed groups become empowered and how their beliefs motivate them. In Sister Wives, the reason why they wanted to do this show was to increase the understanding of what a polygamist family means and to get rid of the stereotypes /misconceptions of polygamy. A participant said, “It’s showing a different perspective on what people typically think about polygamy or what we have been shown in the media…what do you think of when you hear polygamy? We think pedophile…we think patriarchal…you know there’s got to be a freak flag in there somewhere, right?” Participants also felt that both families isolated themselves from other people and families outside their religious circles. For example, the Brown’s homeschooled their children and then later sent them to a school with similar families that practiced polygamy. The Duggars also homeschooled their children and socialized with like families such as the

216

Chapter Fifteen

Willis family, because they share the same conservative values. Critical theorists would say that this is a setback, because you want others to understand your choice of a lifestyle, but you won’t interact with other types of families and religions.

Traditional marriage roles/patriarchy Traditional marriage roles and patriarchy are interconnected. In previous decades women didn’t work outside of the home and they took care of the kids while cooking and cleaning. Men worked outside of the home and were the breadwinners of the family. In today’s society, you still see the same pattern however, women are more likely to have a job outside the home as well while still expected to come home and do the housework. After watching an episode of Sister Wives, one participant said, “Stereotypes of the man…goes to work, comes home. He tucks his kids into bed, but it’s the women’s job to take care of them.” Another participant said, “Kody was handling power tools…wives are in the kitchen taking care of the food…Kody was in the living room being the fun dad. I thought it was definitely like a patriarchal society…the man was obviously in charge.” In the Duggar household you also see that Jim Bob is the breadwinner, while Michelle is more submissive. Jim Bob does all the big projects around the house, while Michelle is usually cleaning or cooking and taking care of the children. One participant said, “When a question was asked, the dad automatically answered first…the dad took the lead. The mom was the background role and her opinion was second...Jim Bob found out that Michelle was pregnant and he told everyone, she is having the baby but it’s not her decision who gets told.” Critical feminist theory asserts that men and women should have equal respect and opportunities in all aspects of life. They tend to critique inequalities based on gender and sex (Braithwaite and Baxter 2006). Critical feminist theorists would say that these marriage roles and patriarchy set back society because of the illustrated inequalities based on gender. In Sister Wives and 19 Kids and Counting, Kody and Jim Bob are clearly the breadwinners in their families, while the wives take care of the children and the house. With these shows the theorists would say if these families want to promote harmony within each family, the parents need to divide up the household tasks.

Reality Television Shows Sister Wives and 19 Kids & Counting

217

Gender roles (Parent vs child) Gender roles between the parents and children are apparent in these two families as well. In today’s society, we have expectations for each gender, parents, and children. Females are supposed to be mothers and males are breadwinners. After viewing Sister Wives, one participant said, “Christine is always taking care of the children, hers and the other wives... she cooks/cleans…she is the motherly role. The boys do more hands on/building and outdoors type activities and the girls do housework and take care of the kids.” Another gender role is when the dad is gone the oldest son is put in charge, not the mother. “Logan takes over the responsibilities, because Kody goes to work.” In the Duggar family, you see the older sisters taking care of the children, playing the motherly role. One participant observed how, “The older sister was taking care of the three youngest kids was just like….its highly contagious, everyone’s going to get sick...she was the only one around when the kids were sick and the little boys were playing…where were the parents?” However, one participant liked that the older siblings helped out, “The kids really jelled together well…obviously the parents can’t do everything, because there are 18 of them, the older kids looking after the younger ones was nice to see.” It is admirable to see that the Duggar and Brown families are sharing tasks and the older children are helping the parents by looking after their younger siblings. However, in the Duggar family, you only see the older female children taking on this responsibility. You don’t see the older male siblings helping. In the Brown family, it is good to observe that the older son is stepping up and helping out his family, but why can’t the moms step up and be head of household? Why does there have to be a male head of household? Critical feminist theorists call for more mixing of gender roles to equalize the field of opportunities. When everyone helps out in equal ways then this allows everyone to feel like an important member of the family.

Miscommunication Miscommunication (failing to communicate effectively) is seen in many family settings despite differences in background. With these two families you can see miscommunication between the parents and the children. In the Brown family there is jealousy between the wives as one participant points out, “Definitely there’s jealously that I’m thinking about…. yeah the number of times in the show that he looks at them like, I

218

Chapter Fifteen

can’t believe you’re really saying that. How did I not know this? Conflict between wives about their feelings...one wife got up and left crying.” This isn’t surprising since they have several kids. Similarly, there is miscommunication within the Duggar family. In this family, they have an intercom system built into their house so the parents can communicate with everyone at once. This seems efficient and a good way to communicate with the kids; however, one wonders about the interpersonal aspect of their relationship. As one participant said, “I don’t think their communication is the best, they were using the intercom to talk to the other kids...that’d be weird for my mom not to come talk to me face-to-face.” By using the intercom system, there can be no questions asked, no nonverbal communication, and no interpersonal relationship between the parents and children. According to critical theory, communication can play a huge role in whether a family dynamic is successful or not. Cooperation between family members, engaging in activities, sharing perspectives and ideas should be a routine thing in families. Critical research identifies communication as an essential building block of strong marital, parentchild, and sibling relationship. Poor communication is also associated with an increased risk of divorce and marital separation and more behavioral problems in children. As the examples of the Duggars using the intercom as primary communication tool as well as the displays of jealously within the Brown family show, there are clear communication issues present in each context.

Nontraditional gender/marriage roles Nontraditional gender/marriage roles are rarely seen in families. However, there are nontraditional themes shown in these families. The Brown family had a lot more nontraditional roles than the Duggars. In Sister Wives, a participant said, “What becomes nontraditional is the fact that they all share one husband, and then you add the mix of the kids, you know. That to me is a little more disturbing.” Another participant said, “Janelle working outside the home…they brought up when you have this big of a family, you can’t afford to have one single breadwinner... she comes home and someone else would be taking care of dinner and the kids.” In the Duggar family, the nontraditional roles that were seen are how close each sibling was to each other. One participant said, “They’re one unit, they’re one family, they all raised each other.” However, when it came to the chores and helping to build their new house, it was more

Reality Television Shows Sister Wives and 19 Kids & Counting

219

traditional. A participant said, “Even though they did show the girls helping to build the house…one kid said, “I know how to do housework. That’s mostly my job.” The critical theorists would critique the Brown family by stating that they are on a good track to make the housework, chores, and activities around the house more equal for each gender however, there is room for improvement if they want to be a successful family. On the other hand, the Duggar family has a lot of work to make the tasks and chores around the house equal and non-gendered. The boys need to start and help around the house, while the girls can help outside with raking leaves and building things with their dad. Not only will it make these tasks non-gendered, it will allow each parent to bond with the kids.

Conclusion Reality television is currently very popular. Each show has their own reality, drama, and plot. Plenty of research has been done on reality television shows looking at the behaviors and the attitudes of the viewers. These researchers do note that these producers of reality television shows use various tricks to keep the viewers entertained. Some of these tricks are using dramatic scenes that happen between romantic relationships (Ross 2013). With the shows Sister Wives and 19 Kids and Counting you can see how the critical feminist theories would critique each category/theme found in the particular episode. The theorists would critique that these families need to improve to be a successful unit. In Sister Wives, the family talked more about their lives and experiences. The roles in the Brown family are more spread out, these roles in the family are more nontraditional. The Brown’s shared tasks throughout the household, didn’t matter what the stereotypical roles set by society were. However in the show 19 Kids and Counting, the Duggar’s were a lot more traditional and followed the set societal norms/expectations of each gender stereotype. The female kids took care of the kids and cleaned the house, while the male kids did outside work including helping to build their new house with their dad. In other reality television shows you still see stereotypical gender/marriage roles. For example, in Keeping up with the Kardashians you still see the women in the kitchen and taking care of the children, as well as having a career. The Kardashians, Browns, and Duggars still have improvements in order to make the gender/marriage roles equal. One

220

Chapter Fifteen

improvement that could be made is to evenly and equally distribute the household chores to everyone, regardless of their sex/gender. In more recent years, these gender stereotypes are being challenged, because women are starting to work outside of the home and becoming more independent. Women are still getting married and having kids, but at a much later time period in their life. However, women are still expected to take care of the kids and do the housework while working outside of the home.

References Braithwaite, Dawn O., and Leslie A. Baxter. Engaging Theories in Family Communication: Multiple Perspectives. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications, 2006. Camussi,Elisabetta and Carmen Leccardi, "Stereotypes of Working Women: The Power of Expectations.” Social Science Information 44(2005): 113-40. Gerber, Gwendolyn ,"Leadership Roles and the Gender Stereotype Traits." Sex Roles 18(1988): 649-68. Gibbons, Timmothy, Bill Hayes, Christopher Poole, Kirk Streb, and Deanie Wilcher, prods. "Season 1." Sister Wives. TLC, September 2010. Glouner,Madeline, Cynthia Flores, and Alexandra Tomback,"Reality TV: The History of Reality Televisiom." Reality TV. Accessed October 4, 2016. http://scalar.usc.edu/works/reality-tv/the-history-of-reality-television. Hayes, Bill, Deanie Wilcher, Kirk Streb, and Sean Overbeeke, prods. "Season 2 & 3." 18 Kids and Counting.TLC, 2009. “Hills' Affect Perceptions Of What's Normal." International Science Times, September 16, 2013 Accessed October 4, 2016. http://www.isciencetimes.com/articles/6069/20130916/reality-tv-simpact- viewers-shows-real.htm. "Overview of the IFB Church." Baptist Deception, March 8, 2013. Accessed October 4, 2016. http://www.baptistdeception.com/overview-of-the-ifbchurch/#.V7JP1ZgrKhd. "Plural Marriage and Families in Early Utah." The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, February 21, 2012. Accessed October 4, 2016. https://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-and-families-in-earlyutah?lang=eng.

Reality Television Shows Sister Wives and 19 Kids & Counting

221

Ross, Philip. "'Reality' TV's Impact On Viewers: How Shows Like 'The Real Housewives' And 'The Shore, John, "Welcome to the Duggar’s World of Independent Fundamental Baptists." Unfundamentalist Christians, May 27, 2015. Accessed September 30, 2016. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/unfundamentalistchristians/2015/05 /welcome-to-the-duggars-world-of-independent-fundamental-baptists/. Swantek, Samantha. "Stereotyped: Women in Reality TV." The Artifice, September 11, 2014. Accessed September 30, 2016. http://the-artifice.com/sterotyped-women-in-reality-tv/.

CONCLUSION LAURA FINLEY

As the chapters in this book reveal, while there has been some progress toward a deeper understanding of the social construction of gender and the pursuit of gender equality in the US, there remains much to be done. Compared to other developed nations, this progress has been remarkably slow. In 2015, the World Economic Forum’s Gender Gap Report ranked the US 28 out of 145 countries it assessed for gender inequality. This is the lowest ranking for the US since 2007 (Moss 2016). In this concluding chapter, we offer some insights into both the improvements and the challenges of gender equality, focusing on how deeper dialogue and more critical reflection on gender role norms and expectations—genderspectives, as we call it--can help move the U.S more quickly in the right direction.

The challenges One of the most significant challenges to attaining gender equality is what Connell (2005) and Connell and Messerschmidt (2005) have called hegemonic masculinity. As these and other scholars have noted, men learn that to “do masculinity” means to act aggressively. This allows them to exert dominance over other men and over women and to believe that they should naturally be in control of things. Although not all men exhibit hegemonic masculinity, those who do have generally continue to occupy the most important positions in the most influential realms of U.S. society, from politics to the workplace, media and popular culture, religious and educational institutions, and more. Even men who embody more subordinated masculinities, such as gay men, still benefit from hegemonic masculinity to some degree, given the U.S is still a patriarchal society (Connell and Messerschmidt 2005). Hegemonic masculinity manifests itself in a variety of ways, as many of the contributors to this volume acknowledge. For instance, Kluch’s chapter explores hegemonic masculinity in US gym culture, while Kornfield and DeSantis discuss “bro codes” in a variety of institutional settings. It is clear in data about the

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View: GenderSpectives

223

gender-pay gap, as indicated in many of the contributions herein, and is even worse for women of color. Related to hegemonic masculinity is what Connell (2005) coined “emphasized femininity.” Just as men are to be tough and in charge, women are to be nurturing and more submissive. Such rigid expectations manifest in challenges for both men and women. As Kornfield and DeSantis noted in their chapter, the US is still an unfriendly place for female political candidates, who, like Hillary Clinton in her 2016 presidential campaign, are chided for their looks and emotions in ways that male candidates are not. Finley points out that women feel compelled to succumb to expectations about their bodies that lead them to purchase expensive projects, undergo potentially dangerous surgeries, engage in risky health behaviors, and otherwise do damage to themselves and their identity. Yet, as critics note, it is imperative not to use the concepts of hegemonic masculinity and emphasized femininity to reinforce an essentialist, binary understanding of gender. Rather, these ideas help identify why genderrelated power dynamics persist but should also ensure recognition of the fluidity of gender (Connell and Messerchmidt 2005). Further, critics note that these concepts result in too much focus on male gender role norms and behaviors and too little on those of females. As Finley notes in her chapter, men also suffer emotionally and in other ways when they attempt to achieve these standards. And, as many of the contributors to this volume noted, both males and females internalize these norms and may face significant and negative responses when they attempt to challenge hegemonic masculinity. For instance, Tyler LaCarrubba and Antonio Spikes shared their personal stories as individuals who identify as gender nonconforming and gay, respectively, noting the inability of many people in their lives to understand and accept them for who they are. Finley notes that, too often, people feel compelled to “police” others’ gender, making assumptions and comments based on these gender role norms. Clearly, there remains much work to be done in terms of rejecting these binary definitions of gender and the associated behavioral characteristics. Another challenge the US must overcome is its hyper-individualism. This is something that is deeply engrained in an American culture that applauds rugged individualism, do-it-yourselfing, and that sees itself as exceptional. As such, building a collective understanding that binary gender roles are harmful to women, men, those who are nonconforming, and the society at large remains a significant challenge. Further, the US has increasingly been influenced by a neoliberal model in which the free market is seen as the model of efficiency and held up as the primary means

224

Conclusion

of understanding and addressing social issues. Drawing from classical liberal principles and neoclassical economics, neoliberals believe that all persons are rational actors and insist that only a free market can stimulate individuals to be and do their best, to provide quality products and services, encourage economic growth, and, on the whole, result in a prosperous society. The idea is that, as people compete in the free market, the best outcomes will emerge. Neoliberals generally reject the notion that the government should be the guardian of public welfare, and therefore advocate that it be as limited as possible (Klein 2007). Further, because their understanding of problems and their solutions focuses on the individual, any adversity people face is presumed to be the result of some type of personal deficiency that can only be remedied through individual, not collective efforts. The coupling of hegemonic masculinity and individualist, neoliberal ideology has resulted in a fear that is capitalized on by many corporations that, in turn, reinforce hegemonic masculinity. In Guyland (2012), Michael Kimmel interviewed more than 400 young men and found most had a sense of entitlement in that they were supposed to feel like a “real man,” and to do so requires them to fight back against anyone who seems to challenge them. “This sense of entitlement is part of the package deal of American manhood -- the culture that doesn't start the fight, as Margaret Mead pointed out in her analysis of American military history, but retaliates far out of proportion to the initial grievance. They learn that "aggrieved entitlement" is a legitimate justification for violent explosion” (Kimmel 2012). Kimmel (2012) explores the equating of masculinity with violence that has resulted in a slew of white young men perpetrating mass shootings, asserting “In a sense, they weren't deviants, but overconformists to norms of masculinity that prescribe violence as a solution. Like real men, they didn't just get mad, they got even. Until we transform that definition of manhood, this terrible equation of masculinity and violence will continue to produce such horrific sums.” As a means of increasing market share, the gun industry and lobbying groups like the National Rifle Association are marketing guns to women as a supposed tool for empowerment, despite data that show women rarely use guns in self-defense and, when they attempt to in cases of rape or domestic violence, the chances that they will be injured or killed increase dramatically (Guns and Violence Against Women 2014). Similarly, as Nickesia Gordon’s chapter shows, feminist and empowerment as concepts have been commodified in ways that reinforce rather than challenge traditional notions of female’s sexuality but definitely line some people’s pockets.

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View: GenderSpectives

225

Further, as this volume has made clear, while some academics seize or make the opportunities to critically address gender in their courses, due to the siloed nature of higher education, academic specialization, lack of opportunities for interdisciplinary collaboration and other factors, many do not or do so only minimally. Students who select some majors may receive significant coursework related to gender, patriarchy, and communications, but others may never take such a course. Similarly, the narrowing space for sociological examinations in the K-12 public school systems means that most students matriculating from these institutions have had little to no opportunity to study gender. Not only is it likely that students spend little class time studying gender-related issues, but schools and campuses do not often feature events or other programming in which these issues are brought up. As Tyler LaCarrubba notes, a Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) can be a powerful tool for increasing awareness, acceptance, and inclusion of LGBT and gender nonconforming individuals, yet many schools still do not offer such a club.

The improvements Albeit far from perfect, the movement since the 1970s for gay rights and, more recently, for the rights of transgender individuals has been quite successful. Careful message-discipline, use of a variety of organizing and lobbying strategies, and other factors has resulted in fairly rapid change in terms of visibility and legislation. Per the Supreme Court decision in Obergefell v. Hodges 576 U.S (2015), gay marriage is now legal. President Obama signed legislation that included gender identity and sexual orientation in federal hate crimes laws and issued an executive order ending the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. These changes have not always been well-received, with several states enacting so-called religious liberty laws that codify discrimination against LGBT individuals. Nonetheless, the tides seem to have shifted and the momentum is in favor of expanding civil and human rights. Although popular culture and media still generally fail to fully include complex, female, gay, transgender or gender nonconforming characters (Bates 2016; Rivers and Barnett 2013), the development of alternative and social media outlets is an improvement. Further, music, performance and other types of art, like the Vagina Monologues discussed in Beth Bollinger’s chapter or Youtube, as discussed by, Erin Phelps, have huge potential for transforming the dialogue on gender, gender identity, and sexual orientation.

226

Conclusion

Similarly, while political change has been terrifically slow, the 2016 election features the first female candidate from a major party. Around the world, more women are holding high level political office, although the progress has been slower than we’d like. According to UN Women, as of June 2016, 22.8 percent of national parliamentarians are female, compared to 11.3 percent in 1995 (UN Women…nd). As they are involved in greater numbers, it is likely that the issues of most concern to females will be discussed more vigorously. While it may not be the only solution, Schmitt and Weidhaus’ chapter about Germany’s use of political quotes suggests that something similar might be effective at increasing political diversity. Similarly, as more gay, transgender and gender nonconforming individuals enter the political realm, additional legislation that protects the civil rights of LGBT individuals is likely forthcoming. Sexual assault remains a huge problem, with women, transgender and gender nonconforming individuals at greatest risk. A host of cases in which colleges and universities mishandled sexual assault allegations have prompted activists, administrators and policymakers to take seriously this issue and to enact policies and programs designed to appropriately respond to an, hopefully, prevent, sexual assault on campuses. Bystander intervention programs like those discussed by Chapin and Paoletti have shown great promise. Although still in their infancy, affirmative consent laws are already generating more complex and nuanced conversations about what it means to give consent to sexual activity. As Laura Finley’s chapter shows, college students still hold many misconceptions about sexual assault but are eager to receive additional training and education about the topic. Finally, as many of the contributors to this volume explain, there is a growing understanding that feminism is still necessary but that it can and must look somewhat different than it did in earlier eras. Intersectional scholars have brought much needed attention to the work of feminists of color, of various faiths and nationalities, and of queer and transgender activists. Young people may grapple with the term feminism and how to be a feminist, but many are actively involved in promoting gender equality.

What next? As this book makes clear, how we talk about gender—in our homes, schools, colleges, workplaces, media and popular culture and other realms—both challenges and reinforces traditional, binary gender role norms. The following list of recommendations emerged from our work acquiring and editing this collection. It is our hope that these

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View: GenderSpectives

227

recommendations, and this book as a whole, gives voice to both faculty and students from a variety of disciplinary areas, and helps to further the critical conversations needed to move closer to gender equality. First, we recommend that more research be conducted regarding the depiction of gender role norms, LGBTQ individuals, and other related issues in various forms of popular culture. As Chelsea Canady’s chapter documented, women and girls are still often depicted in ways that are deeply problematic, especially in some of the most popular types of media, like reality television. Even allegedly liberating or empowering popular culture, as Nickesia Gordon’s chapter highlights, may still reinforce a narrow vision of gender equality and one that is little more than commodification. Alternately, as Erin Phelps’ chapter shows, other forms of popular culture may be useful in helping people share with others their experiences with gender inequality and with gender nonconformity. As social media has become such a ubiquitous and important part of our lives, it is imperative that we assess how it is and can be used to address critical questions about gender and sexuality. Second, we hope that the entries in this volume inspire educators at all levels to creatively address gender issues in their classrooms. As the chapters by Lili Shi, Laura Finley, and Kelly Concannon and Ashley Nicols show, there are myriad ways to engage students in critical reflection about gender, gender role norms, feminism, equality, and other related issues. This should, as the chapter by Chapin and Paoletti note, include examination of both old-fashioned sexism and benevolent sexism, addressing the ways both have historically and are currently manifest. Third, we call on older adults to help mentor young people as they navigate gender identity, explore new norms, and create more equal institutions. Many of the contributors to this volume either documented their need for such mentorship or detailed the ways it can be provided. Fourth, we implore readers to be critical of the subtle ways that we reinforce patriarchal privilege through our daily language. From the bro codes many accept as normal “boys being boys,” to rape myths that assume women provoke sexual assault through their looks and behavior, to legislation requiring people to use restrooms that align with their born genders and more, the way we talk about gender issues matters a great deal. We are hopeful that this book allowed readers to reflect on their own communications and those of others so as to identify areas for continued improvement.

228

Conclusion

References Bates, Laura, Everyday Sexism. New York: Thomas Dunne, 2016. Connell, Raewyn. Masculinities, 2nd edition. Berkeley: University of California Press, 2005. Connell, Raewyn and James Messerschmidt, “Hegemonic Masculinity: Rethinking the Concept.” Gender & Society 19 (2005): 829-59. Every Town for Gun Safety. “Guns and Domestic Violence.” Jun16, 2014. Accessed September 20, 2016. https://everytownresearch.org/reports/guns-and-violence-againstwomen/ Kimmel, Michael. Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men.New York: Harper Perennial, 2012. —. “Masculinity, Mental Illness and Guns: A Lethal Equation?” CNN, December 19, 2012. Accessed February 19, 2013. http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/19/living/men-guns-violence Klein, Naomi. The Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism. New York: Penguin, 2007. Moss, Gabrielle. “How America’s Wage Gap and Gender Equality Ranking Compares to Other Countries.” The Bustle, April 12, 2016. Accessed. September 19, 2016. http://www.bustle.com/articles/153258-how-americas-wage-gapgender-equality-ranking-compares-to-other-countries Rivers, Caryl and Barnett, Rosalind. The New Soft War on Women: How the Myth of Female Ascendance is Hurting Women, Men, and Our Economy. New York: Penguin, 2013. UN Women. “Facts and Figures.” UN Women, nd. Accessed September 20, 2016. http://www.unwomen.org/en/what-we-do/leadership-andpolitical-participation/facts-and-figures Watson, Elwood and Marc Shaw (Eds.). Performing Masculinities: The 21st Century Man in Popular Culture. Bloomington, ID: Indiana University Press, 2011.

APPENDIX A: ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Books Adichie, Chimamanda. We Should All Be Feminists. New York: Vintage, 2014. Anzaldua, Gloria. Borderlands/La Frontera: The New Mestiza, 3rd edition. San Francisco, CA: Aunt Lute Books, 2007. Baumgardner, Jennifer and Amy Richards. Grassroots: A Field Guide for Feminist Activism. New York: Farrar, Straus, & Giroux, 2005. Bates, Laura. Everyday Sexism. New York: Thomas Dunne, 2016. Bumiller, Kristin.. In an Abusive State: How Neoliberalism Appropriated the Feminist Movement Against Sexual Violence. Durham: Duke University Press, 2008. Buchwald, Emily, Pamela Fletcher, and Martha Roth. Transforming a Rape Culture, 2nd Edition. Minneapolis, MN: Milkweed Editions, 2005. Crittenden, Ann. The Price of Motherhood: Why the Most Important Job in the World is Still the Least Valued. New York: Picador, 2010. DeFrancisco, Victoria and Catherine Palczewski. Gender in Communication: A Critical Introduction. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2013. Dines, Gale. Pornland: How Porn has Hijacked our Sexuality. Boston: Beacon Press, 2010. Dines, Gale and Jean Humenez. Gender, Race and Class in Media: A Critical Reader, 4th Edition. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2014. Durham, M. Gigi. The Lolita Effect. Woodstock, NY: Overlook Press, 2008. Ehrlich, Susan. Representing Rape: Language and Sexual Consent. Oxford: Routledge, 2003. Estrich, Susan. Real Rape: How the Legal System Victimizes Women Who Say No. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1987. Faludi, Susan. Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women. New York: Doubleday, 1991. Finley, Laura and Emily Stringer. (Eds.). Beyond Burning Bras: Feminist Activism for Everyone. Santa Barbara, CA: Praeger, 2010.

230

Appendix A: Additional Resources

Freedman, Estelle. No Turning Back: The History of Feminism and the Future of Women. New York: Ballantine, 2002. Friedman Jaclyn and Jessica Valenti. Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Power and a World Without Rape. New York: Seal, 2008. Friedman, Jaclyn. What You Really, Really Want: The Smart Girl’s Shame-free Guide to Sex and Safety. New York: Seal, 2011. Gay, Roxanne. Bad Feminist: Essays. New York: Harper Perennial, 2014. Harding, Kate. (2015). Asking for It—The Alarming Rise of Rape Culture and What We Can Do About It. New York: Da Capo Lifelong, 2015. Holland, Jack. Misogyny: The World’s Oldest Prejudice. New York: Carroll & Graf, 2006. hooks, bell. Ain’t I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism. Boston, MA: South End, 1981. —. The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love. New York: Atria, 2004. —. Feminism is For Everybody. New York: Routledge, 2014. Hurston, Zora Neal. Their Eyes Were Watching God. New York: Harper Collins, 2006. Katz, Jackson. The Macho Paradox. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks, Inc, 2006. Kaufman, Michael and Michael. The Guy’s Guide to Feminism. New York: Avalon, 2011. Kimmel, Michael. Angry White Men: Masculinity at the End of an Era. New York: Nation Books, 2013. —. Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men. New York: Harper, 2008. —. Manhood in America, 2nd Edition. New York: Oxford University Press, 2006. Kimmel, Michael and Michael Messner. (Eds.). Men’s Lives. Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon, 2001. Kimmel, Michael. Misframing Men: The Politics of Contemporary Masculinities. New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers University Press, 2010. Krakauer, Jon. Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town. New York: Doubleday, 2015 Kristof, Nicholas and Sheryl WuDunn. Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2009. Lamb, Sharon and Lyn Brown. Packaging Girlhood: Rescuing our Daughters from Marketers’ Schemes. New York: St. Martin’s, 2007. Mirande, Alfredo and Evangelina Enriquez. La Chicana: The Mexican American Woman. Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press, 1981.

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View: GenderSpectives

231

Murray, Anne. From Outrage to Courage: Women Taking Action for Health and Justice. Monroe, ME: Common Courage, 2008. Orenstein, Peggy. Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complex Landscape. New York: Harper, 2016. —. Cinderella Ate my Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-girl Culture. New York: Harper, 2012 Parrott, Andrea and Nina Cummings. Forsaken Females: The Global Brutalization of Women. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield, 2006. Rich, Adrienne. On Lies, Secrets and Silence: Selected Prose, 1966-1978. Boston, MA: W.W. Norton & Co, 1995. Rivers, Caryl and Rosalind Barnett. The New Soft War on Women: How the Myth of Female Ascendance is Hurting Women, Men—and our Economy. New York: Penguin, 2013. Rosin, Hanna. The End of Men and the Rise of Women. New York: Penguin, 2012. Rowe-Finkbeiner, Kristin. The F Word: Feminism in Jeopardy. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2004. Rowland, Debran. The Boundaries of her Body: The Troubling History of Women’s Rights in America. Naperville, IL: Sphinx, 2004. Solnit, Rebecca. Men Explain Things to Me. Chicago, IL: Haymarket Books, 2014. Tannen, Deborah. You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York: William Morrow, 2007. Valenti, Jessica. The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women. New York: Seal, 2009 Walker, Alice. Meridian. Boston, MA: Harcourt, 2003. Wood, Julia. Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender and Culture, 10th edition. Boston:Cengage, 2012.

News sources related to gender Bitch Media: https://bitchmedia.org/ Chicano Por Miza: www.chicanopormiza.org Everyday Feminism: http://everydayfeminism.com/ The Feminist Wire: http://www.thefeministwire.com/ Feministing: http://feministing.com/ Huffington Post Gender Issues: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/gender-issues/ Jezebel: http://jezebel.com/ Makers: www.makers.com Ms. Magazine: www.msmagazine.com

232

Appendix A: Additional Resources

Women’s Enews: http://womensenews.org/

Organizations focusing on gender equality and relevant issues American Association of University Women: www.aauw.org Promotes gender equality in the workplace and an end to sexual harassment. American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU): www.aclu.org Advocating for civil rights broadly. Amnesty International USA: www.amnestyusa.org Human rights group includes work on violence against women. Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls: http://amysmartgirls.com Helps nurture young girls and women in finding their authentic selves. Audre Lord Project: http://alp.org Organization for LGBTQ and gender non-conforming people of color. Center for Media Literacy: www.medialit.org Provides education and professional development related to media literacy. Code Pink For Peace: www.codepink4peace.org Female-led initiative to stop war and promote peace. College Brides Walk: www.collegebrideswalk.org Coordinates annual walk and educational programs to raise awareness and end abuse. Crunk Feminist Collective: http://www.crunkfeministcollective.com/ Provides support for hip hop feminists of color. Do Something: www.dosomething.org Teen-focused website providing information and support to empower young people to be agents of change. End Rape on Campus: http://endrapeoncampus.org/ Works to end campus rape by engaging in political advocacy, supporting survivors, and encouraging prevention initiatives. Equality Now: http://www.equalitynow.org/ Promotes full civil and human rights for women and girls. The Feminist Majority and the Feminist Majority Foundation: www.feminist.org Promotes gender equality. Futures Without Violence: www.futureswithoutviolence.org Wealth of information and resources related to abuse. Girls for Gender Equity: http://www.ggenyc.org/

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View: GenderSpectives

233

Intergenerational organization promoting the full development of women and girls. Girls Inc: http://www.girlsinc.org/ Inspiring girls to be bright, smart and bold. HeForShe: www.heforshe.org UN Women’s organization promoting gender equality and inviting men to participate. Hollaback!: www.ihollaback.com Raises awareness about and challenges street harassment. Human Rights Watch: www.hrw.org Global human rights watchdog. INCITE! Women of Color Against Violence: www.incite-national.org Grassroots organization addressing violence against women of color. Indigenous Women's Network: www.indigenouswomen.org Provides information and support for indigenous women. The Joyful Heart Foundation: www.joyfulheart.org Founded in 2002 by actress Mariska Hargitay with the aim of helping survivors heal. Know Your IX: http://knowyourix.org Helps college students understand their rights in regards to sexual assault. LAMBDA GLBT Community Services: www.lambda.org Legal resources for LGBT persons. Lean In: www.leanin.org Offers information, videos and resources largely related to gender equality in the workplace. Love is Not Abuse: http://loveisnotabuse.com Provides resources and information related to teen dating violence. Mediawatch: (www.mediawatch.com): Devoted to decreasing racism, sexism and violence in media. Men Can Stop Rape: www.mencanstoprape.org Advocates for men to address societal sexism and stop sexual harassment and assault. Men Stopping Violence: www.menstoppingviolence.org Helps reduce oppression of woman by focusing on social structures, institutions, and belief systems. Mending the Sacred Hoop: www.mshoop.org “Working to End Violence Against Native American Women” Ms. Foundation for Women: www.ms.foundation.org Grants and support for domestic violence shelters. National Gay and Lesbian Task Force: www.ngltf.org Advocacy and empowerment for LGBT persons.

234

Appendix A: Additional Resources

National Immigration Forum: www.immigrationforum.org Promoting immigrants rights. National Network to End Domestic Violence: www.nnedv.org Coordinates annual 24 hour census on domestic violence, among other things. National Organization for Men Against Sexism: www.nomas.org Male-led feminist organization devoted to ending sexism and violence against women. National Organization for Women (NOW): http://now.org/ Since 1966, NOW has worked on a variety of issues related to gender equality. National Sexual Violence Resource Center: www.nsvrc.org Provides information and resources related to sexual violence. National Women's Political Caucus: www.nwpc.org Promoting women’s issues and women’s involvement in the political system. Planned Parenthood Federation of America: www.plannedparenthood.org “the nation’s leading sexual and reproductive health care provider and advocate.” Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN): www.rainn.org Statistics, research and resources related to sexual violence and abuse. Representation Project: http://therepresentationproject.org Focuses on the effects of media depictions of women and men. Soroptimist International of the Americas: www.soroptimist.org “International organization for business and professional women who work to improve the lives of women and girls.” Third Wave Foundation: www.thirdwavefoundation.org Supports third wave feminists in their efforts to promote gender equality. UN Women: www.unwomen.org United Nations entity focused specifically on global gender equality.

Films and documentaries 9 to 5 (1980) One of the first films to show how horribly women are treated in the workplace. Asking for It (2010) Grapples with how young people navigate consent in sexual situations. Beauty Mark (2008) Focuses on gender role norms, media, body image, and girl’s health and wellness.

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View: GenderSpectives

235

Behind the Veil: Nuns (1984). Historical review of the lives of nuns. Boys Don’t Cry (1999) A transgender man in Nebraska is horribly raped, assaulted, and murdered once it is discovered that he is biologically female. This is based on the true story of Tina Brandon. The Bro Code: How Contemporary Culture Creates Sexist Men (2011) Addresses multiple forms of contemporary popular culture that glorify misogyny and promotes men’s control and subordination of women. But I’m a Cheerleader (1999) Hilarious examination of gender role norms and acceptance of homosexuality. Carol (2015) Shows a tender lesbian romance in an earlier era. The Color Purple (1985) Depression-era tale of abuse and mistreatment yet also the strength of females. The Danish Girl (2015) The true story of Danish artist Einer Wegenar, who underwent one of the first sex-change operations. Dark Girls (2011) Explores the biases against dark-skinned black women, from Caucasians as well as other black people. The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015) Chronicles a teenage girl’s growing sexuality. Dreamworlds 3 (2007) Examines gender role norms and misogyny in video games. The Empathy Gap: Masculinity and the Courage to Change (2015) A follow up to Generation M, this documentary examines how misogynistic messages in popular culture reduce men’s ability to empathize with women. Erin Brockovitch (2000) One determined woman helps take on a corporation engaged in illegal environmental dumping. Flirting with Danger (2012) Analyzes the way girls navigate relationships and hookups. For Colored Girls (2010) Tells the stories of a group of black women living in Harlem. Fried Green Tomatoes (1991) Women of all ages support one another. Generation M: Misogyny in Media and Culture (2008)

236

Appendix A: Additional Resources

An assessment of misogyny and sexism in mainstream American media. Girl Rising (2013) Shows the global challenges faced by girls trying to obtain primary education. Go Fish (1994) Examines gender role norms and the butch/femme dichotomy as it follows a group of friends in Chicago. Half the Sky: Turning Oppression Into Opportunity for Women Worldwide (2012). Shows the many forms of global oppression of women and highlights people and strategies for making change. He Named Me Malala (2015) Shares the powerful story of Malala Yousafzai, who was shot as she attempted to go to school. She won the Nobel Peace Prize for her advocacy for girls education. The Help (2011) Black and White Southern women in the 1960s challenging gender role norms. Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes (2006) Shows how hip-hop and the culture surrounding it promotes destructive gender stereotypes. Also highlights hip-hop artists who have and are challenging this culture of exploitation. The Hours (2002) Three generations of women are connected by the novel Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf. The Hunting Ground (2015) This film uncovers the epidemic of sexual violence on college campuses and the institutional cover-ups that ensue. I am a Girl (2013) Shows the reality of girls’ lives in the 21st century. Available at http://www.iamagirl.com.au/ If These Walls Could Talk (1996) Three women from different eras struggle through unplanned pregnancies. The Invisible War (2012) This film examines the epidemic of sexual violence within the military and the difficulty for survivors to get help due to the command structure. The Joy Luck Club (1993) Follows four generations of Asian women. Killing Us Softly 4 (2010) The latest update from Jean Kilbourne exploring how advertisements promote dangerous conceptions about females bodies.

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View: GenderSpectives

237

Miss Representation (2011) Highlights the under-representation of women in positions of power in the U.S, connecting it to limiting gender-role stereotypes. Mona Lisa Smile (2003) A teacher at a women’s college in the 1950s encourages her students to focus on their education, not on finding male partners. Norma Rae (1979) Female textile mill employee rallies for better working conditions. No Woman, No Cry (2010) Examines pregnancy and pre-natal care in the U.S and worldwide. North Country (2005) Focuses on the harassment women face in male-dominated professions. Not Just a Game: Power, Politics & American Sports (2010) Explores how American sports have glamorized militarism, racism, sexism, and homophobia. It also profiles the many athletes who have fought for social justice, both on and off the field of play. A Path Appears (2015) Focuses on the roots of gender inequality and poverty as well as global and local solutions. Private Violence (2014) Focuses on the tragedy of domestic violence. Features the stories of women who defended themselves Real Women Have Curves (2002) The coming-of-age story of a Mexican-American girl. Saved! (2004) A Christian girl tries to “save” her gay boyfriend. Sister (2013) Tells the story of health workers in several countries. Available at http://www.sisterdocumentary.com/ The Stepford Wives (1975) Examines the pressure on women to be too perfect. Suffragette (2015) Intense film focusing on female suffragettes in Britain. Tangerine (2015) Chronicles a friendship between transgender women. Thelma and Louise (1991) Two women on a road trip fight off sexual harassment and assault while demonstrating friendship and strength. V-Day: Until the Violence Stops (2003)

238

Appendix A: Additional Resources

Documents how the play The Vagina Monologues, written by Eve Ensler, became a global movement to combat violence against women and girls. Vessel (2014) Tells the story of Dr. Rebecca Gomperts, who started an organization to provide abortions in a ship in offshore waters. Available at http://vesselthefilm.com/ Waiting to Exhale (1995) Four friends and their relationships. We Exist (2015) Documentary about people who identify as gender neutral. Available at http://www.weexist.co/about-the-documentary/ Whale Rider (2002) The story of a girl in the male-dominated Maori tribe in New Zealand. The Women (2008) Focuses on women supporting others as they leave bad relationships and advance in the workplace. The Women of Brewster Place (1989) Follows a group of strong women in a housing project who struggle with poverty, racism, and abusive men. Wrestling With Manhood: Boys, Bullying and Battering (2002) An in-depth analysis of sexism, homophobia, and violence presented in professional

TED talks Why we need gender-neutral bathrooms, Ivan Coyote Link: https://www.ted.com/talks/ivan_coyote_why_we_need_gender_neutral _bathrooms Shows how gender-neutral bathrooms can help reduce harassment of transgender individuals. Why gender equality is good for everyone—men included, Michael Kimmel Link: https://www.ted.com/talks/michael_kimmel_why_gender_equality_is_ good_for_everyone_men_included Shows how treating men and women equally at the home and in the workplace is a win-win. An invitation to men who want a better world for women, Elizabeth Nayamayaro

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View: GenderSpectives

239

Link: https://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_nyamayaro_an_invitation_to_me n_who_want_a_better_world_for_women Head of UN Women’s HeForShe initiative invites men to help create global gender equality. What my religion really says about women, Alaa Murabit Link: https://www.ted.com/talks/alaa_murabit_what_my_religion_really_say s_about_women Debunks the misconception that Islam disparages women. A powerful poem about what it feels like to be transgender, Lee Mokobe Link: https://www.ted.com/talks/lee_mokobe_a_powerful_poem_about_wha t_it_feels_like_to_be_transgender Emotional poem shares one person’s transgender experience. Find your voice against gender violence, Meera Vijayann Link: https://www.ted.com/talks/meera_vijayann_find_your_voice_against_ gender_violence Emphasizes the importance of sharing personal stories about sexual and other forms of violence. Why I must come out, Geena Rocero Link: https://www.ted.com/talks/geena_rocero_why_i_must_come_out Model Geena Rocero discusses her gender identity. The myth of the gay agenda, LZ Granderson Link: https://www.ted.com/talks/lz_granderson_the_myth_of_the_gay_agen da Humorously discusses gay rights as human rights. Social media and the end of gender, Johanna Blakley Link: https://www.ted.com/talks/johanna_blakley_social_media_and_the_en d_of_gender Discusses how social media is altering gender-based marketing.

ABOUT THE EDITORS AND CONTRIBUTORS

The editors Nickesia Gordon (Ph.D., Howard University) is Associate Professor of Communication at Barry University. Her research involves looking at the intersections among gender, mass media and popular culture. She also has an active research agenda in new/social media, and development communication. Her publications include two books, one coedited and the other single authored, and over 13 book chapters and articles. Additionally, Dr. Gordon is an Editorial Board Member for the Women Studies in Communication (WSiC) journal. Laura Finley, Ph.D., is Associate Professor of Sociology & Criminology at Barry University. She is the author, co-author, or editor of seventeen books and numerous book chapters and journal articles. Dr. Finley is also a syndicated columnist with PeaceVoice and co-editor of two book series. In addition to her teaching and scholarly work, Dr. Finley is actively involved with many local, state, and national organizations devoted to peace, justice and human rights.

The authors Helen Bennett received her bachelor’s degree from Barry University in 2016. Beth J. Bollinger is a doctoral student in the Department of Communication at the University of Washington studying health communication, particularly that of campaigns and media-based interventions. All inquiries can be sent to: [email protected] Chelsea Canady is a researcher that graduated from University of Wisconsin-La Crosse with a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology and Interpersonal Communications in May of 2016. My research is based on how gender/sex affects people individually and society as a whole using different factors and approaches, in the Midwest United States. Please contact her at [email protected].

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View: GenderSpectives

241

John Chapin is a professor of communications at Pennsylvania State University Beaver, where he conducts applied community-based research in violence prevention education. He is the recipient of the Stephen Schafer National Research Award for significant contributions to the field of crime victim rights from the National Organization for Victim Assistance (NOVA). Kelly Concannon is Associate Professor of Writing at Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Concannon encourages global awareness and responsibility, which significantly impacts her teaching in both undergraduate and graduate courses. She has published work in journals such as The Journal of the Assembly for Expanded Perspectives on Learning, The Journal of Feminist Scholarship, Academic Exchange Quarterly, The Journal of Advanced Composition, Enculturation, Reflections: A Journal of Public Rhetoric, Civic Writing, and Service Learning, and College Literature. Much of Dr. Concannon’s research involves community-based outreach that is student-centered. Dr. Concannon believes students’ experiences should greatly impact how we bridge the gap between academic discourses and literacy practices within the community. Her recent co-edited collection, Peace and Social Justice Education on Campus: Faculty and Student Perspectives, includes the perspectives of several undergraduate student from Nova Southeastern University. Currently, Dr. Concannon is collaboratively building a literacy center at a non- traditional learning center for at risk students—a project that emerged from many years of mentoring undergraduate students to empower young at-risk women in Ft Lauderdale. Nicolette DeSantis is an undergraduate senior, majoring in Communication at Hope College. She hopes to graduate and move to Chicago, using her studies of gender communication to write for a women’s magazine or work creatively for a marketing firm. Alex Doyle is an undergraduate student at Barry University and a member of the university’s soccer team. Gabrielle Estevez is an undergraduate student at Barry University. Chrisorden Joseph is an undergraduate student at Barry University. Zac Kellett was an undergraduate student at Barry University at the time of this submission. He has since transferred to the University of Colorado at Boulder.

242

About the Editors and Contributors

Lucia Klencakova was born in Czechoslovakia. In 2012, she obtained her Baccalaureate degree in languages from Manchester Metropolitan University in England. In 2013, she moved to and began studying for a Master’s degree in Communication at Barry University She is the recipient of two academic awards; The National Association of Student Employment Services award for assisting foreign students entering higher education by helping improve their English skills, and a graduate research award by the Department of Communication at Barry University. She has also published an article in a Czech online newspaper on cultural pitfalls a Czech national can encounter in the UK, and has participated as a narrator in a series of videos about cultural differences from an international student’s perspective. Yannick Kluch is a doctoral student and teaching associate in the School of Media and Communication at Bowling Green State University. His research interests include critical and cultural studies of communication, men and masculinities, advertising, and identity construction in and through sport. Yannick is also interested in examining the potential of sport to be used as a vehicle for social change. His research has been published in Interactions: Studies in Communication & Culture and Learning Landscapes. He has presented his research at various national and international conferences, including the 101st Annual Convention of the National Communication Association in Las Vegas, USA, the 10th Global Communication Association Conference in Berlin, Germany, and the 6th International Conference on Sport and Society in Toronto, Canada. For the latter conference, he was competitively selected as a recipient of the conference’s Graduate Scholar Award in 2015. Yannick is the founding president of the Sport, Social Justice, and Communication Coalition (SSJCC) at Bowling Green State University. Under his leadership, SSJCC launched We Are One Team (WA1T) in 2015, a university-wide initiative that utilizes sport to promote positive social change. Sarah Kornfield (Ph.D., Pennsylvania State University) is an Assistant Professor of Communication at Hope College, where she teaches and studies how gender is constructed, portrayed, and mobilized in public culture. Her research is published in journals such as Women’s Studies in Communication, Critical Studies in Media Communication, and Communication, Culture, and Critique. Tyler (Ellora) LaCarrubba, whose pronouns are they/them, is an undergraduate student studying communication at St. Joseph’s College. They graduated with an AP distinction from Sachem North High School in

Reflections on Gender from a Communication Point-of-View: GenderSpectives

243

2015, where they co-founded the school’s Gay Straight Alliance. They are involved with the radio station both at Sachem and St. Joseph’s. Tyler has presented at two communication conferences, and is currently the Undergraduate Student Representative of the New Jersey Communication Association. They are an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community, and run a blog dedicated to identity-related topics. Kiarra Lester is a criminology major at Barry University. Ashley Nichols is an Undergraduate Student at Nova Southeastern University in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, where she currently studies Business. Nichols maintains a passion for activism and social justice, and has completed several projects intended to assist at risk youth. She is an active mentor in the community, and her research has appeared in Peace and Social Justice Education on Campus: Faculty and Student Perspectives. Nichols has participated in several leadership conferences, where she argues for creative initiatives intended to address gender inequalities. She plans to pursue a MA in Management, with an ultimate goal of using her passion to create a non-profit which assists at risk students. Nancy Paoletti is a communications major at Pennsylvania State University Beaver. Paoletti conducts research in sexism and domestic violence. Erin Phelps received a Bachelor of Science in Sociology and Interpersonal Relations at Ball State University in May of 2016. She is currently in her first year of a doctoral program in medical sociology at Case Western Reserve University. Erin hopes to continue with her research on LGBTQ topics and their intersections. Paris Razor is an undergraduate student at Barry University. Barry Rhodes is an undergraduate student at Barry University. Franziska Schmitt is an international student from Germany, doing her Masters in Business Communication at Rider University in New Jersey. She is a Graduate Research Assistant at Rider University and volunteers as the President of Protégées for the Rider Women Leadership Council’s Mentoring Program. A graduate of Baden-Wuerttemberg’s Cooperative State University with a Bachelors Degree in Business Administration and Finance, she previously worked as a Press Officer at the German independent savings and commercial bank, Kreissparkasse Waiblingen.

244

About the Editors and Contributors

Schmitt is passionate about leading, motivating and working with people and interpersonal connections to drive long-term success. Zahria Scott is an undergraduate student at Barry University. Lili Shi is Assistant Professor in the Department of Communications and Performing Arts at the City University of New York—Kingsborough. Antonio Spikes is a doctoral student at Southern Illinois University of Carbondale. He has earned his B.S. in Communication Studies from Georgia Southern University and his M.A. in Speech Communication from Southern Illinois University of Carbondale. Generally, his interests lie within the field of Communication Studies. Specifically, he focuses on intercultural communication, interracial communication, sexualities, Black masculinities, and critical communication pedagogy. Julia Suglia is an undergraduate student at Barry University. Tonya Turner is a criminology major at Barry University. Vukan Vilotijevic is a psychology major at Barry University. Dr. Allison Weidhaas is an Assistant Professor at Rider University, where she teaches in the university’s Master of Arts in Business Communication. She also teaches undergraduate courses in public relations and the business of media. Weidhaas’ research integrates gender, business ownership and communication. Her scholarly work includes a book on female business owners in public relations. On the professional side, Weidhaas worked in public relations for over a decade and currently co-owns an international business.