Persephone Rising: mythic poetry 9781463217259

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PERSEPHONE RISING

Persephone Rising mythic poetry

ZAHARATI MORFESIS

EUPHRATES 2009

First Gorgias Press Edition, 2009 Copyright © 2009 by Gorgias Press LLC All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise without the prior written permission of Gorgias Press LLC. Published in the United States of America by Gorgias Press LLC, New Jersey 978-1-60724-124-9

EUPHRATES An Imprint of

GORGIAS PRESS 180 Centennial Ave., Suite 3, Piscataway, NJ 08854 USA www.gorgiaspress.com “King” and “Subterranean Skies” were originally included in Pomegranate Seeds: An Anthology of Greek-American Poetry, Dean Kostos, Editor (Boston: Somerset Hall Press, 2008), and are published here by permission. Photo credit: John R. Bryan. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Morfesis, Zaharati. Persephone rising : mythic poetry / Zaharati Morfesis. -- 1st Gorgias Press ed. p. cm. 1. Persephone (Greek deity)--Poetry. I. Title. PS3613.O72P47 2009 811’.6--dc22 2009029448 The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of the American National Standards. Printed in the United States of America

To all the women who travel Persephone’s journey

CONTENTS Contents...................................................................................................vii Preface.......................................................................................................xi Part One: Dreams.....................................................................................1 The Descent ..................................................................................................3 River to Hades ..........................................................................................5 Underworld ...............................................................................................6 Hades of my Soul .....................................................................................7 Captor.........................................................................................................8 The Wanting..............................................................................................9 Player ........................................................................................................10 Repetition.................................................................................................11 Ice Lover..................................................................................................12 I Love .......................................................................................................13 Lion ..........................................................................................................14 Survivor....................................................................................................15 Rations......................................................................................................16 Change of Heart .....................................................................................17 Executioner .............................................................................................18 The Tear...................................................................................................19 Banishment and Betrayal ............................................................................21 Trapped....................................................................................................23 Rival ..........................................................................................................24 Mistress ....................................................................................................25 Reptile.......................................................................................................26 Caged ........................................................................................................27 Lizard........................................................................................................28 Pity ............................................................................................................29 vii

The Question ..........................................................................................30 Pretender..................................................................................................31 Ego............................................................................................................32 Invasion....................................................................................................33 Bridge .......................................................................................................34 The Waiting .............................................................................................35 The Kiss ...................................................................................................36 Forbidden ................................................................................................37 The Promise ............................................................................................38 Truth.........................................................................................................39 The Queen’s Verdict..............................................................................40 Revolt .......................................................................................................41 Timing ......................................................................................................42 The Banquet of the Gods .....................................................................43 The Entrance...........................................................................................43 The Dance ...............................................................................................44 The Exit ...................................................................................................45 Reflections ...............................................................................................47 Prayer for the King.................................................................................49 Awakening ...............................................................................................50 Yes ............................................................................................................51 Fascination...............................................................................................52 Magnetize.................................................................................................53 Soulmate...................................................................................................55 Forgiveness..............................................................................................56 Gratitude..................................................................................................57 Destiny .....................................................................................................58 King Dreams ...........................................................................................59 Part Two: Freedom ................................................................................61 Lamentations ..............................................................................................63 Lament .....................................................................................................65 Dying for you ..........................................................................................66 viii

My Goddess ............................................................................................67 Sacrifice ....................................................................................................68 Nemesis....................................................................................................69 Reptilian Queen ......................................................................................70 The King ..................................................................................................71 Subterranean Skies..................................................................................73 Night Goddess........................................................................................74 Disguise....................................................................................................75 Stranger ....................................................................................................76 Ferryman..................................................................................................77 Memories and Desires .................................................................................79 Madness ...................................................................................................81 Familiar ....................................................................................................82 Everyday ..................................................................................................83 Red Queen...............................................................................................84 Tragedy.....................................................................................................85 Receptacle ................................................................................................86 Peace.........................................................................................................87 Exile..........................................................................................................88 Apology....................................................................................................89 Regret .......................................................................................................90 Reappearance ..........................................................................................91 Bound .......................................................................................................92 The Haunting ..........................................................................................93 Reverence.................................................................................................94 Deceit .......................................................................................................95 Fallen ........................................................................................................96 The Release..............................................................................................97 Endgame ..................................................................................................99 Soul Tie ..................................................................................................100 Letting Go .............................................................................................101 Return.....................................................................................................102 ix

Ready ......................................................................................................103 The Path.................................................................................................104 Persephone Rises..................................................................................105 Eros ........................................................................................................106 Openings................................................................................................107 Poppies...................................................................................................108 Empathy.................................................................................................109 Living Persephone................................................................................110 Companion ............................................................................................111 Persephone ............................................................................................112 Earthquake.............................................................................................113 Spring......................................................................................................114 Riches .....................................................................................................115 Farewell ..................................................................................................116 Freedom.................................................................................................117 About the Author.................................................................................118

x

PREFACE Persephone is my favorite goddess from Greek mythology. Her story speaks to me on so many different levels. At the core of the Persephone story is a journey into a physical as well as emotional, psychological, and spiritual underworld. This journey serves as a fertile ground for her later emergence, heralding spring, bringing the fruits of her transformation above ground. I have always felt connected to Persephone. I was very much a young Persephone, as a child attuned to the natural world, empathic towards animals, creative and intuitive. My passions and interests continue. Myth embodies what I love. Greek mythology (once understood as Greek religion), portrays Persephone, known as kore (maiden) and the queen of the underworld as a unique and intriguing figure. She is the daughter of Zeus (king of the gods) and Demeter (mother goddess). As a young maiden, she was walking in the meadow when the ground opened, and Hades (king of the underworld), abducted her and took her into his realm, also known as Hades. Her mother, Demeter, negotiated with Zeus to have her returned to her. However, having eaten the seeds from the pomegranate fruit, Persephone was destined to stay a part of the year with Hades and a part of the year in the upperworld, at which time she brings forth spring. The Persephone myth is the initial starting point for the development of my own work. The poetry is written in the voice of Persephone and much of the poetry is directed to Hades, king of the underworld. I have taken liberty with the original myth and have created my own through the introduction of the Red Queen. She is the mistress of Hades, who becomes his queen, wife, and the rival of Persephone. Thus, the story of Persephone and Hades evolves into a love triangle. For me, the gods and goddesses still have stories to tell us. If we listen closely enough, they will invite us to journey with them. This is my story. Zaharati Morfesis xi

PART ONE: DREAMS

1

The Descent

3

River to Hades a pale green and smoky haze envelops me on the river to Hades one moment stands perfectly still a bitter blood cools my veins gliding, moving ever so gently upon the river to Hades dim lights shine in the distance and faint howls pierce the moonlit sky gliding, moving ever so gently upon the river to Hades yet Hades never comes and I weep silently eternally trapped between two worlds 5

Underworld our dark castle draped in diamonds streams ribbons of blood red, orange, fuchsia and iridescent purple swarming overhead and underfoot are innumerable demons, shadows, and shades on ebony thrones we reign adjacent to our nuptial chambers with a fiery heart encased in ice you melt into me simultaneously burning and freezing my soul oh, my love fear is useless here I have learned to live underground

6

Hades of my Soul Hades of my soul I’ve waited a lifetime to meet you loving in the underground tastes so sweet you came to me frozen, iced though never melting self-contained you contain everyone Hades of my soul breaking every rule of conscience till we are left swimming in your flames deconstructing me with as little effort as possible pretending that the queen’s throne can be filled when it is only a rotating chair with no title

7

Captor eagle I saw your nest last night your safe secluded corner overlooking your subjects down below your nest your cave your web where innocent maidens are sacrificed under your magnetic spell and they believe in love yes, they believe that you love

8

The Wanting I want the man with eagle eyes searing bright flicking ashes in his path burning straight through lesser souls the man with a lion’s grip paws big and tender picking his pride one by one with each moment a new opportunity for acquisitions I want the man who wants everyone else come to me once more pretend that I haven’t been conquered

9

Player I’m ready to play all your games every last one with a tigress waiting in the wings one on the radar two at the door one possibly looking through the window in the ethers on your mind darting in the small spaces hidden in your eyes in your memory in the void of creating new rosters of love I’m ready to play all your games as you shrink down to size and the only crown left is the one embroidered on the tapestry hanging behind you as you pontificate to your subjects down below cut it up, rip it up sew a cloak from its tattered edges you are still my king

10

Repetition one more time I go down to be with you this time will you remember me and call me your queen or will you act disinterested waving one hand then the next with an air of disdain why do we all want you so painfully what magic spell do you cast on the visitors to Hades my king my love I wanted you even before I knew the meaning of suffering

11

Ice Lover time to be with you again even when you reject me we’re together your heat burns through the earth, my mother through the meadows, grass, flowers, birds and bugs burns the sky my eyes, my heart ice freezing burns my legs, my arms each piece of me my cells, my veins my memory so that is your secret lover of the night you bring us back through our forgetting all the rough edges and broken glass the thousand thorns that surround your heart like little guards on duty you bring us back by seeping mist and fog on our path we know not where we step till we step to you do you smell us coming closer and remember which scent belongs to whom or do they all merge like one great kill my ice lover burn me again

12

I Love I love you because you move my energy takes a lot to reach into the archives of my soul so many have tried and failed but you without thought or care went down in one fell swoop you went down like a buzzard on a carcass like a locust on honey sweet and hard with no care for me you cared the most strange realizing again that love comes best by surprise

13

Lion I love the lion with his big paws and proud mane with a gaze that penetrates me like pure sweet with a heart so heavy and full of light that it shakes me like an earthquake melting bruised I’m in love with the lion whose slippery eyes slide from me to anyone in killing range

14

Survivor come on its not so bad being filled with fire you can survive anything when you learn to live the burning

15

Rations blessings bestowed at one month intervals clouds of dust and anger seep through your chambers and I float in unnoticeable you turn evaluate and give the verdict usually a sentence of shortened time in your presence and I plead for more again

16

Change of Heart why must I always be pulled by you bring down your drawbridge light the torches I’m coming in summon the guards the servants the priestess the scribes we have words to spill bring on the light the darkness your blood my heart we have experiences to share bring on the blessings one for my spine two for my neck three for the lips untouched by you I’m coming in sound the trumpet sound it out Persephone loves the king

17

Executioner you are my executioner but this is a beautiful death calculated since the moment we met ever so softly you remove pieces of me like glitter falling from a counterfeit sun I want to say my heart bleeds for you, but that is too dramatic and sentimental when what’s really happening is so much more subtle and edged like a fine sliver of glass unnoticeable till it slips into you leaving a delicate trail of crimson so sweet is everything you don’t do that I pretend is real at least your absence gives me something to work with I have created on so much less

18

The Tear you panicked when you saw the tear streaming down my face onto your chest if I didn’t tell you the reason banishment from the kingdom would be inevitable you froze immediately and shut the Gates to Hades all I could say was I like you I like you but that wasn’t enough you weren’t satisfied the words were wrong I should have been more accurate the tear fell not because I liked you but because I realized that I was in love

19

Banishment and Betrayal

21

Trapped I trap him the one who traps me anger rises in me like a deadly serpent only to be cooled by your laughter I trap him the one who traps me your man facade so strong and sure breaks into tiny pieces small enough for a child to play with I trap him the one who traps me and I saw you laugh hysterical when tiger waved her paw goodbye after you banned me from riding in your chariot 23

Rival I wonder what she’s like do you speak to her of liquid love of yellow, bright, suns and blessings at midnight does she know who you are part lion, part man eagle vulture god do you torture her with banishment or allow her easy access to your kingdom I wonder what she’s like but more than that I wonder what you are like with her

24

Mistress life has taken its toll on the one most high and I saw her, what can I say slimy eyes peering out like a lizard half asleep cold, long body, so pale as if the sun were afraid to shine on her and hair, a mass of unruly red coarse and hard what lies beneath her ice castle is she hot inside, hot enough for all the fire you contain will she sustain you in your darkest hour will she warm your generous and kingly heart will she heat your blood in the way you so desire she brought you in and gave you something you wanted to see or maybe she was just an opening to escape the prison you felt trapped inside but like most salvations there is a price to pay you may know already or may one day know your Reptile Queen will exact on you what you have so sorely done to your fair maidens the captor is captured by his own game she will take you down deeper than Hades and show you who you really are no sun will shine upon your face as you contemplate the gravity of your deed the lizard lady lived in the cracks and crevices beneath your castle and arose to join you on the throne what were you thinking was it your soul’s wish to purge itself of all evil done in this your royal incarnation she has the power to take you down I saw it in her eyes and yours 25

Reptile nothing shocked me more than the plain face you, who love beauty so intense ravenous could pick someone so dull tall and pale she slithers next to you with lizard eyes peering as if no one is looking flames of red billow from her scalp the queen Queen of the Reptiles and her voice a soft whisper that utters your name with monosyllabic commands

26

Caged you say she’s very possessive and jealous no kidding, king yet she’s the thief who stole you and steals you over and over again her greatest achievement is capturing the heart of one so magnanimous she must have a bag of hearts in her cellar bathing in their blood to rejuvinate her translucent skin what do you see in her is she just a door that took you from a prison you thought your were in or is she the place from which you’ll plan your next escape

27

Lizard seducing a lizard consumes my thoughts how does it feel to rub against her scaly skin does she whisper sweet hissings in your ear does her forked-tongue reach in the forbidden places of your darkened soul is she explosive or silent shrouded by her evil or am I being too hard on her is there a soft core underneath her armor what bothers me the most is her ugliness if it were just surface I would do a disregard but its not its way deep maybe that’s why you want her you will never be found in a place so much like yourself 28

Pity I pity her in a strange way she suffers knowing you I know, I know you suffer with her too but that is a cage you will eventually break out of but she will be the one left like all the others wondering what went wrong and what could she have possibly done to hold your attention for just one moment longer my king, I went through the dark sleep with you but her nightmare is just beginning I pity her in a strange way and one way or another she will learn to pity, too

29

The Question oh, my king what did you do to me nothing and everything you left your queen for the Red Queen but she’s not the one, after all your eyes never cease to wander and somewhere along the way you lost your heart, I know it shows in your face the crown is tarnished your robe is torn but you still shine maybe more than ever in a strange and veiled way how can anyone subdue your majesty for long I know something about you you will resurrect again and more than once oh my king; take me with you I’ve waited, your lady in waiting take a chance on me gambler of lost souls I can be queen, too

30

Pretender I pretend that you still want me that I’m the one sitting next to you the latest passenger in your chariot to nowhere the time I heard Greek music permeating the ethers when I asked for the sun back and the one with the accent probably just wanted you to reject me the same one who said “hello” when you told me no one was there and you know how good I am with accents I pretend that you still want me but they all pretend like me because everyone knows how painful it is for you to love

31

Ego consumed with you burning pieces of everyone with lips that never open closing the gate to your castle yet every now and then you wander through your tunneled chambers desolate and alone wanting someone anyone to remember you are still alive to remind yourself that you are still desired

32

Invasion what has she done to you, my king I have never seen such fear enveloping your noble face what has she done to you, my king you are no longer allowed to hold an audience with your subjects no longer allowed to cast your light among the shadows the ones reaching for you in the darkness no longer allowed to shine your brilliance upon hungry minds or initiate new maidens on the path of knowing what has she done to you, my king when did you fall asleep and miss the invasion 33

Bridge intensely small are the passages that wind me to you delicate and vulnerable they break at a moment’s notice my attempts to rebuild the bridge to your heart collapses on me again

34

The Waiting I’m patient it’s easy I’ll just dig my hooves into the ground deep my bullhorns piercing the sky feeling nothing but air and space between us I’ll wait grabbing the sand round me with crab claws antennae feeling the next vibration of your coming closer I’m patient I’ll wait till you wake from your long lion slumber till I hear your gentle purr summon my river to flow again

35

The Kiss was I holding on to something that never happened you’re right you haven’t changed still talking about everyone else when you’re with someone else giving blessings out like sweets to anyone who will eat your words so elusive they come and go at the whim of the king I was once admitted to the inner sanctum your sacred resting place with no rest in sight the game room where you hunt and hang your prey rating each one while thinking of the next so cold so hard is the love you keep buried beneath your barricade I only wanted to kiss you 36

Forbidden forbidden one oneday I’ll breakdown your castle walls no wait you won’t see it it will happen slowly hidden softly pebble by pebble I’ll remove them with my healing hands I’ll rearrange each stone surrounding you in your sleep a cave of love I’ll make my own castle out of yours we’ll be happy you and I inside the inside of what was

37

The Promise you promised we would fly way high way up high in the realm of royalty taken by you eagle man you were going to take me there to your sacred secluded place ascending the altitude you were going to take me there words ringing like hollow bells waiting for their sound one small chime will do but nothing comes no it never comes not even you

38

Truth you used to love my words when they adored you words of adulation and respect of longing and love you used to love my words when they solidified your superiority when they confirmed I was your subject but now you hate the sound of my voice when it speaks the truth

39

The Queen’s Verdict you’ve evaporated your energy from my life because she said to because she saw that we were connected by threads of love and longing that tie us together you have no choice but to abide by her wishes your bed is made lie down

40

Revolt you told me once that I don’t move like a woman how ironic that you’ve chosen one who moves like primeval poison your words have come back to haunt you what did you think did you mistake me for one of your many fools who worship you for nothing never underestimate your subjects oneday they may just revolt

41

Timing “agape mou” (my love) you said those words to me hoping to open my door and I almost conceded but something in my gut said no the drawbridge came up protection from the invasion was it real my king or just another tactic on your part for a conquest timing is everything and it wasn’t my time to be yours

42

The Banquet of the Gods The Entrance the creatures of the wood scattered furiously in all directions when you and the Red Queen entered the Banquet of the Gods an ice wind swirled round, howling anticipating this moment yet you and your betrothed stood motionless watching, waiting to be received but your only welcome was silence

43

The Dance Dionysus played his flute and the nymphs danced chanting his hymn you are wine intoxicant drinking you gives us energy yet you are paradox just being near the fragrance that you are weakens even the strongest part of us our convictions, our beliefs crumble laying at your feet waiting to be crushed like the grapes from which you create ecstasy I was there in the center of the ring surrounded by the love of my companions and you stood, frozen with your Red Queen praying for the circle to be broken allowing an entranceway into the trance but the creatures of the wood would not allow the contamination of nature by one so evil as she forgive them, Hades they live through their instincts not their intellect so she just stood her ground her eyes piercing me like daggers I am a mirror reflecting to her everything she wants to forget one day she will be on the other side 44

The Exit Hades I gave you my hand at the closing ceremony of the Banquet of the Gods but you refused farewell the Red Queen was lurking behind you her tentacles attached to you the whole evening to prove you belong to her oh, Mercurial King like quicksilver you’ll dematerialize before her eyes and she will question whether you ever existed at all

45

Reflections

47

Prayer for the King oh, merciful god Zeus have pity on your brother Hades he has been bewitched by a most ominous creature I fear for his very soul she radiates poison as opposed to his light even though it is light that shines through the shadows of Hades it is light nonetheless I pray with the blood of ages in my veins I pray with the wisdom of eons in my soul that mercy will shine down into the deepest recesses of Hades’ domain into Hades’ very heart so that he may gain the courage and strength to see the dangerous path he is walking with the Red Queen and I simultaneously send a prayer to Mount Olympus so that it might be echoed throughout the world may the gods have mercy on the Red Queen the suffering she has caused will inevitably fall upon her threefold in your name, Mighty Zeus I send this prayer perfumed with precious oils on my lips and sincerity in my heart 49

Awakening it came out of me like a dream pouring from my lips the ones you touched it came out of me like a dream for the first time in a long time there were no regrets only memories of happiness of my days in the sun with you royal one the tide has turned clear water passes over the imprints of you and me embedded in the sand and new ways of reacting to the world are growing in my heart it came out of me like a dream pouring from my lips for the first time in a long time I’m not afraid

50

Yes oh, my king am I the fool to be enamored for so many years by a man who moves me like a volcano erupting on my soul oh, my king am I insane to wait eternally for your royal touch even though you touch everyone else oh, my king am I destined to love you despite everything oh, my king yes

51

Fascination as if you can’t tell by now for whatever reason and reasons unknown you have captivated my soul

52

Magnetize how is there freedom when every time I turn my face your face is staring at me guarded by the Gorgon Queen so many epithets for one creature the fates torture me with your presence and I pray for this attachment to fade, to turn to mist, floating about us unnoticed but again you appear to haunt me and me to haunt you, and she just stares she must know the truth to our connection yet there are times when even I don’t know the truth to us aren’t we finished yet I ask the gods in mercy to cleanse my life of you I go to the priestess who performs the purification rituals I meditate on clearing my psychic space, the that one you inhabit I do everything in my power to break the golden chord that ties our souls together, but it is all in vain you are here in every moment of my existence a presence that cannot be obliterated diffused, or wished away you have now become me and I you, no longer king and queen we are of the same essence, a melding of spirits who though they try cannot disentangle themselves from one another I do not know what to do and you my love, are even more lost than I for the masquerade you play before the world is a greater burden than mine to bear the venomous serpent-tongued woman that you call queen will devour you in the end much the way you have devoured others 53

and I who have mercy for you I who have true love in my heart for you despite endless suffering must sit and watch helplessly with only my prayers sent to the gods in your name my dark and beautiful king my ray of light the paradox who generates evil as well as good the one who has shattered and remade my vision of reality over and over again the one whose passion has inspired every word that is uttered from my lips the one that I would gladly die for the one who showed me by his fathomless fear and dread how absolutely powerful I really am

54

Soulmate you are everything I’ve dreamed of since I was a child you are the complete incarnation of my ideal man you are a blinding light a rapturous gaze a heartbeat that pulses in every cell of my body you are the breath that I long for when I feel suffocated you are everything I’ve ever wanted or desired you are my inspiration in the light and my hope in the dark you are the most dangerous place I’ve ever been and I would do it all over again you may be the reason for my birth and the reason for my dying and being reborn each spring you are the most amazing creature I have ever laid my eyes upon nothing is able to sever the bond that you have etched into my soul from now until my last thought I will think of you, love and want you it’s that simple and that complex you are my lover in the night when dreams bring you to me you are everything manifest on this earthly plane and everything ethereal there is no end to what you are or can be may the gods save my soul for I have freely given it to you 55

Forgiveness please don’t misunderstand I have nothing but good intentions you are the one who ordained these words you are the one who recited poetry to me across land and sea you are the one who told me you were king you are the one who said I was a mermaid dancing on the ocean’s waves with the sun beating down upon me you are the one who made love to me with the sound of your voice you are the one who said that one day you would take revenge upon my soul for not surrendering please forgive me it is not my intention to ever cause you harm for you were my king you taught me

56

Gratitude I have milked every ounce of blood from your veins with gratitude I acknowledge the debt I owe you for living a life worth such deep observation something tells me we made a pact for this to happen your gift to me was the resurrection of my spirit I had nowhere else to go but up after knowing you

57

Destiny I am still Persephone longing for her king and you are still holding court with maidens from every corner of the world they all seek you they way I did oh, my king this truly will never end my dreams are more powerful than all the riches in Hades and yet Hades is all I dream of nothing can stop me from loving you I am Persephone I have known this since my first breath and you you are the King of Hades my destiny

58

King Dreams the time has come to put this to rest my obsession, my love for you will I ever know what it was this has been the strangest journey of my life to this day I don’t know if you are everything I’ve dreamed or if I’ve dreamed you everything at times I think I love you so much my heart will burst other times I wonder how anyone could love a man so cold and hard it makes no sense really was it the sheer tragedy of your life that intrigued me the humanity in your folly your inability to control your passions that leave you wanting everyone but incapable of loving anyone I may never know the truth to our union perhaps you were just my daimon my inspiration, my king in the underworld for the time that I needed to go down our mythic connection is fading reality is sinking in, the play is over and I keep pushing for an encore but I must accept that the lights will dim the curtains will close and you and I must return to the world of light where these things of which I speak are only dreams

59

PART TWO: FREEDOM

61

Lamentations

63

Lament Hades you ordained every chance meeting that were not by chance at all you need to see me, don’t you I’m the reflection of your conscience I remind you of what you should have done but didn’t I’m the one you said was beautiful because I’d leave a man without having another because spiritual matters were always more important to me than material gain Hades I am fulfilling your expectations in fact, I am everything you wanted me to be I am your deepest dream in as much as you are mine we both just wanted different things I wanted an archetypal god to ignite my creative passion and you wanted to see something about truth oh, my king, the laments I sing to you are endless and unrelenting and now you are trapped in a life of drudgery with the Gorgon Queen be careful, one day she may devour all that you have created much in the same way that she devours you the upperworld and underworld sigh tears stream down the faces of every creature even the flowers of the meadow where you abducted me shed their grief the mighty Hades, King of the Underworld has lost his courage, his fight, and his will oh, mourning how we mourn, the greatest one has fallen bewitched and bemused by an unclean spirit how we all mourn for you how we all mourn 65

Dying for you dying to be Persephone I lament that it is Hades that I long for but in truth I long for you ebony-eyed goddess you who appear in the shadows of my soul and pull me into your ecstasy you who guide the spirits to a place of rest yes it is you Persephone that I am dying to be we can pretend all we want that what we desire is outside of ourselves when the greatest lover we can find lay inside us all along 66

My Goddess my goddess bring him back to me if only for a moment what has happened where is my king why does he hide in the shadows of my soul when I want him here with me in the light oh, goddess that inhabits my every breath please I beg you bring him back to me the one that is the cause for my sweet suffering

67

Sacrifice goddess how in solitude we find each other what is left of me when I am dismembered from bone to bone my blood seeps into the earth to nourish something other than myself goddess of my dreams there are times when my head splits open each vessel constricted as if tortured by an unknown enemy and the relief I seek is total darkness and silence oh, goddess sometimes hidden sometimes visible you know what lies beneath the mysteries of ourselves you know don’t you 68

Nemesis you called it right, king the day you named me and I wondered what does it mean and now I know it means complete and utter destruction of the ones I used to love complete annihilation of all threads of longing and caring a complete reversal of every kind thought word and deed and most of all a complete desire to see you go down whoever you are Nemesis, she is the equal opportunity assassin she takes revenge upon the soul in the cruelest of ways her energy pierces the ethers till it finds a willing host usually she finds the very spot she once carved with love but now she fills it with dread oh my king, you named me right you who see through eternity you who saw through my soul you knew the truth and spoke my real name

69

Reptilian Queen I anticipate the moment when I hear her reptile scream the day she discovers you and your latest mistress oh, how the earth will tremble at the sight of her wailing and writhing in agony in sympathy the ground will sever itself to allow the lizard lady of your dreams to be enveloped for recovery for months perhaps years she will stay buried beneath layers of sediment and rock till she is purified of her evil no, we imagine this is possible but, poor Reptilian Queen there would be nothing left of her without her evil that is the only thing that holds her together 70

The King my soul is filled with your scent warm, layered hot mercurial each valley is carved with the trace of your footsteps each tree bends to the whisper of your hidden names and when I dream you appear more so than in my waking hours what have I done to deserve all that you can’t give me I anoint myself with holy oil and invoke barriers to your spirit penetrating me yet we know the futility of keeping my shadow exiled impossibilities are everything 71

consumed and infatuated broken-hearted and betrayed I wait I wish I wonder and still you elude me everything is fading the night sky covers the day I pray I cease to pray I am the result of your countless blessings the by-product of your pain what cruel and inhuman deeds did I commit in knowing you

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Subterranean Skies under subterranean skies I wander like a mist my hair blends in with the formless vapors that surround me I walk floating I sink in the murky waters entwined with roots of trees pretending to live faint cries fill the air and I move in their direction placing my hand upon their souls giving them a moment’s healing yet my hands can’t heal my own heart I’m tired I want my own home I want to look up and see a real sun shining bright burning the subterranean sky from my sight

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Night Goddess night goddess did you bring my soulmate to my soul I saw him raven haired, and gentle-eyed did you open the passageway between worlds for him to enter mine I am ready to awaken from this long sleep for years I’ve honored your solitude and suffering and now just when I thought it was hopeless you have made it hopeful Persephone what are you conjuring for me in your vestibule of shadows what reward are you placing on my pathway only you know how long I’ve waited how tired and torn I am beneath my cloak of dreams and with your blessing I will go to him veiled you come to me radiating moonlight let the blaring sun shine on Aphrodite we know the value of hidden things and haunted men 74

Disguise I am burying myself under layers of cloth soil, earth, water, blood anything to cover to hide my existence I let my flesh fall from my body like rain, or tears more like tears I wanted to see what lay beneath my skin and I found my bones the one thing that cannot decompose I want to be a walking skeleton a shadow that passes through realms unseen and unheard oh, the disguises we wear the masks we pretend to be when underneath we are all beautiful, intricate creatures and so much more

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Stranger silent stranger give to me what we both need your phantom has laid in my bed not even the ethers can stop your desire for me silent stranger you are my destiny the gods play games with my heart thinking it was Hades who would warm the royal throne next to mine but, in fact it is you, Hermes messenger of the gods who has come at my eleventh hour to lead me from this castle of pain oh, how foolish I was to think that the cold-hearted king could fulfill my needs could touch something other than the flesh of the dead with your mercurial ways and golden-tipped wings we will find refuge in a place where the sun is not afraid to shine 76

Ferryman what is your mystery ferryman who travels the River Styx you think I am the ravishing goddess of death able to spin worlds with the movement of my hands and the cleverness of words which drip from my lips but in truth I am me sometimes strong sometimes not most times just wanting freedom to breathe to create to sing to dance to find a place to lay my head that is safe a shelter from all the storms in my world oh, ferryman what is your mystery and why am I so intrigued by your silence

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Memories and Desires

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Madness I see things moving shadows where there is no darkness in the light these things pass into my world I hear voices calling me my name to remind me that I am dissolving I fear growing old alone time passes like a furnace burning pieces of my memory what was once loved and cherished has disappeared I am alive yet I am dead too

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Familiar a man has stepped into my world he moves like a creature sensual made of earth words do not touch him only my hand he understands I’ve met a wondrous man his eyes follow me like darkened suns promising love and danger this man he is the one I want after so many years in exile after such a long thirst I have crossed the path of someone who feels like home

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Everyday everyday I think of you everyday not a day passes without you vibrating inside my every cell what venom did you pour into my soul that I cannot exorcise everyday I taste the blood that you left on my tongue from the one true kiss you gave me what memories are you creating without me everyday I wake and wonder if today will be the day I speak to you again

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Red Queen reptile of your dreams how many years did it take to incarnate the visions you held so deeply in your soul did she slither up suddenly to your surprise or did she edge her way out of the crevices of the earth slowly almost unnoticeable were you astounded that nature brought forth so accurately your worst nightmare reptile of your dreams I see her face immovable like a mask from an ancient funerary portrait she stands as if there is no blood only venom pulsing through her veins what a magical and monstrous moment when she materialized in your world and mine

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Tragedy I await the tragedy come, take a front row seat let the ceremony begin in all its ritualistic splendor let’s drown in incense and the sweet chanting of spirits I await the tragedy each cell in my body aches for the moment when your world explodes incinerates and disperses into millions of tiny pieces of Hades floating decomposing insidious I await the tragedy in all its glory and defilement ecstatic at the sight of your demise I await the tragedy like a trembling bride in reverence I will hold my heart with one hand and the other offered to you 85

Receptacle you were my receptacle of sorrow for so many years the pain I poured into thoughts of you eased the blistering wounds upon my heart but now I just want it to end I am ready for something else a world far away from you and your torment I am ready for that empty lonely space to be filled with love tears came down today in an attempt to first forgive then cleanse myself of you I cannot say the truth of what happened between us only in verse disguised a labyrinth of words oh, my king how you touched my soul will you ever know will I ever let you 86

Peace I pray for peace to come over me like holy water raining on my skin I pray for peace to come over me before it is too late and I am darkness manifest even the birds know instinctively when evil stirs beneath them I must not hide in the shadows life stands before me and I pray for peace

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Exile I left you in the underworld and like a phantom you appear in my world above ground what horror do you intend to inflict upon me now this is finished our work is done yet you insist on mocking our union by cavorting with the Gorgon Queen in my realm the audacity the arrogance I am aghast unamused this is not part of the plan must I be forced to endure yet another winter in exile

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Apology a shadow of your king-self and I hurt you anyway so cruel and inhuman of me yet so real, too I’m sorry to expose your vulnerability in the presence of your queen but, my king you gave me no choice years of waiting for nothing not even a crumb from the royal banquet I’m sorry I know you are just a shadow of your king-self and I did it anyway

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Regret I fear my greatest fear in this mythical world I’ve created I may have dismantled your kingdom in a moment’s breath I executed my life’s blood what more to say when you are completely evaporated from my world you mustn’t go you mustn’t go I’m sorry I will eat the words I spoke to you I promise

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Reappearance it’s been several weeks since your royal family has visited my temple after the condemnation only your eyes I saw in a moment’s glance and then you disappeared quickly into the sun I passed you briefly and I felt your stare, not a word yet your eyes spoke to me did I feel a soft awakening from your direction the hardness seems to be melting, slowly for a moment I felt that we could actually be reconciled you almost looked free as you stepped away so quickly, I detected a breath flowing through you that I haven’t witnessed in years are you finally free from the bonds of Hades, your domain have you separated from the Red Queen is this an opening a brief space, and time, before your next descent can you be mine again how quickly must I act I will keep vigil at the eternal flame and alert my temple guards to keep watch when you pass this way again I will be ready

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Bound what ungodly and unholy tie do you have to the Red Queen bound together entwined like the snakes on Medusa’s head what ungodly and unholy tie do you have to the Red Queen what frightens you so that you can’t walk away I am completely perplexed and amazed that you stay with her and she with you knowing plainly of your ways infidelities and indiscretions what mystery binds you together in a way that even I in all my intuitive and knowing ways cannot even fathom

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The Haunting Red Queen perhaps I see myself in you all these years I thought it was truly the king who penetrated my soul but, Red Queen it is you you who radiate an intense heat quiet, yet powerful you who in silence stepped into my world and his you who undermined all my efforts to get close to the king it is you who I must reckon with you who have shaken me to the core I feel your desires your passions, your fears and now I feel the panic inside your pain I feel your sorrow Red Queen it is also you who fascinate me and in a strange and unknowable way it is also you who haunt me

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Reverence every living breathing creature of the earth bows their head in silence every flower wilts thirsty for your wisdom every young maiden hopes that she will experience the intensity of your darkness

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Deceit Hades is full of deceit lying is so commonplace to you that it even feels like the truth no I don’t believe you love the Gorgon Queen you just got caught and now you have to look good to your subjects even you have to believe the lie so your soul can rest at night but you strengthened the gift of insight in me and I see your deceit it flows over you like the blood of vengeance it can never be cleaned or hidden even in the deepest recesses of your cavern of this dark castle nothing is truly in the dark 95

Fallen king goes down it’s every queen’s dream crumble beneath my feet like you trampled on everyone else king goes down it’s every queen’s dream show us who you can be when everything is lost I want to hear you scream in silence I await the shattering of your soul the king goes down it’s every queen’s dream you stood so tall for so many years and now you bow to your make-believe queen my god my king watching you fall is my greatest pleasure what took you so long the king goes down it’s my dream now

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The Release

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Endgame I know I’m more potent than all your queens put together otherwise why would you run from me what coiled energy do I make stir in your very gut why can’t you just admit that I’m the first woman to see through your smokescreen your vaporous aura the first one to truly desire you in all your majesty and horror come on, king its time to end this game and finally start something good

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Soul Tie I have a soul tie to you that I have been trying to break through eternity but you continuously reappear in a new form in my dreams if nothing else soul tie you are tied to the cells of my body that hold memory of you tied to the electrical impulses in my brain that relay thoughts of you tied to my heartstrings that play the vibrations I feel in your presence we have been warned that such things exist and still we love

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Letting Go unless I let go of my infatuation with you this obsession this relentless pursuit of your soul I will never truly be free to become myself to create a life unshrouded by your mystery unless I cleanse, purge, release myself from your bond I will never be free to become anything other than your queen in waiting your maiden in tears I must let this go with the blessing of Demeter of Zeus and the whole pantheon of gods I must let this go I must let you die in order that I may live

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Return Hades my underworld days are numbered like the lines on my hand things can change evolve disappear my underworld days are numbered I need light and air and men who have something more to give than darkness my underworld days are numbered even after I was abducted taken to this place of shadows I knew somehow that I would return return to who I was before I met you

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Ready I’m done waiting for whatever it is I’ve been waiting for it’s time to grab what I want fiercely with no shame let the sky and earth shudder at my boldness I’m ready

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The Path how simple life would be if what we followed was what we really wanted but the paths we walk are not so simple they are more labyrinthine than straight I wandered aimlessly and sometimes with pure intention trailing the tattered edges of your cloak thinking all along it was you that I wanted but in truth you have led me on a most wondrous and torturous journey you were merely a light whose shadow I pursued but this journey was mine I created our story its where I needed to go for whatever reason and reasons unknown yet here I stand enveloped in the tragedy and ecstasy of your life as if it were my own and somehow it is somehow we all live each others lives vicariously, purposely or accidentally we touch to greater or lesser extents the people who pass us by the people who walk beside us even the ones we never meet somehow we are all creating our own stories thinking that everything we see is so outside of ourselves when, if truth be told what we see, is who we are, too 104

Persephone Rises Persephone rises and in her ascension she reaches for the hand of the one who cannot be left behind my blood contains your spirit like wine I drink you everyday Persephone rises and my hand reaches down forever to Hades I will not leave you in limbo living with the Red Queen in misery, no Persephone rises and in her ascension she reaches down to Hades to the one man strong enough to bear witness upon the rage in her soul for you my love I would destroy kingdoms let castles crumble upon the remains of contaminated memories we can build our own future leave the past behind come with me to a new world I want you 105

Eros my king look at me I am walking on my remains I can feel my bones crumble beneath my feet my hands sore, my legs more sore flesh has dripped away like tears from a flower’s cheek slowly and intensely what is this new thing that I have become it is not acceptable to not be in your world I will follow you to the depths of your solitude and darkness let me in if you choose not to I will seep into the earth I will be the soil that surrounds your home the dirt that holds your feet the sand that stings your eye I will be the touch of sun on your face the smell of rain in your breath the taste of morning on your tongue the intoxicating blanket of night that pulls you into my dream 106

Openings so many possible openings a small crack in the window a curtain pulled back a door shivers in the wind it all happens so fast decisions made without thinking though based on years of thought some luck sometimes ready lifting one wing then the next and I can fly through brick walls locked doors windows nailed shut coming in and out of space subtle energies shift briefly just in time

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Poppies I am drunk with the wine of poppies a field of blood-red pulsating hearts lay before me quivering, dancing in the moonlight I lay upon them naked dressed in their splendor a garment of inebriation I am drunk with the wine of blood-red poppies and can barely move every attempt to leave their embrace is futile they hold me in my sheer exhaustion and I dream as if there is no tomorrow

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Empathy I understand for the first time what could pull you to disintegration Morpheus the god of Dreams and opiate delirium you know where they are hiding the lost souls beaten down by life’s cruelties I understand for the first time what could pull you to disintegration the world is sorely divided in two those who have and those who struggle to exist look outside your heavenly garden have the courage to wander past your secure little kingdoms extend your hand to touch the less fortunate and you will see new horrors, new lies, new life new ways of knowing you will become more human you will know what it truly means perhaps for the first time to be hungry and tired

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Living Persephone you were there Persephone encasing my birdlike body when I was trapped you were there the night I prayed for my life to be cleansed you were there when one after another the disembodied souls visited me you are here when I remember why I so desperately crave freedom being with you has been hard but you picked me perhaps before I was born you picked me so soon you came teaching me your ways of blood, of heart and longing with roots that stretch into my every vein we sing and dance in the fire and every now and then we resurface, holding hands and for one brief moment the sun shines melting my memories the sun shines enough to sustain the inevitable journey down 110

Companion I live with you for more than half the year veiled in darkness we sleep together in your cold cavern Hades thinks that he is your beloved but we know better you are a companion to women like me who share the same blood secret I live with you for more than half the year veiled in darkness tasting the seeds of the pomegranate ties me to you eternally in this subterranean world praying for the day to come when we can breathe again above ground

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Persephone Persephone in you I learned the ways of the underworld through you I saw the mirror to my future Persephone you showed me the secrets of living subterranean of wanting the unattainable of dreaming till your dreams keep you alive when everything else fails Persephone through you I learned what I can withstand how much sorrow I can bear through you my tears know where to fall we both have a soft heart for the abandoned life the forgotten souls who can barely find a way I know that I am on the precipice of starting something new to cross a bridge that will take me to other worlds and I look back at this place of shadows of spirits who need me to care for them but I so desperately want to live and to be here is to die 112

Earthquake the goddess cries ancient sounds move the earth wings flutter beneath the ashes revealing shadows of memories containing blue and yellow light cement-like center eternal core crystallizes once more loved and protected butterfly flies again

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Spring spring came early to me this year every inch of my body yearns for rejuvenation like a snake shedding my skin I am translucent underneath let the outer layer fade away and reveal a new confidence and hope spring came early to me this year may she always arrive so unexpectedly

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Riches you gave me the greatest riches I could desire like molten gold you poured your brilliance into my life you mirrored my dreams and hopes like no other you gave me the greatest riches I could desire my rebirth your priceless gift

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Farewell relax there is very little left for me to say your light is gone and you can no longer cast your shadow upon my life I never thought the day would come but it has arrived my one and only king

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Freedom I taste the sun on my lips gentle winds blow the embers from my feet Hades no more I have found a new pathway to walk upon let the earth of my mother, Demeter seep into my bones this is the rebirth I have been longing for let the veils of darkness which have shrouded me for so long melt from my body Persephone rises spring returns to the world and to my heart Hades, fare thee well I am free

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About the Author Zaharati “Jackie” Morfesis is an artist, poet, performer and writer. She holds a BFA in Fine Arts from Kutztown University of Pennsylvania and an MA in Liberal Studies from Rutgers University in New Jersey where she received the Alumni Award for academic achievement. She held a Rotary International Ambassadorial Scholarship to Greece in the humanities and arts from 1999–2000 and is an active member of the Greek-American community. An advocate for the underserved with a special interest in prison outreach, she works both nationally and internationally with youth and adults in the visual and literary arts. Born in Charleston, South Carolina, her family’s roots are from Ithaca, Greece.

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