Organizing Ideas: The Keys to Effective Communication 1495984931, 9781495984938

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ORGANIZING IDEAS THE KEY TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION by Matthew Spence The Quimby Street Press

Copyright © 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 by Matthew Spence Second Edition           October 2015 All rights reserved. Except for the usual review purposes, no part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any informational retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher. The Quimby Street Press Portland, Oregon Telephone (503) 224-9168 Manufactured in the United States of America Excerpts from The Elements of Style, 3rd Edition, by William Strunk Jr. and E. B. White, reprinted by permission of Macmillan Publishing Co., Inc., Copyright © 1979 by Macmillan Publishing Co., Inc. All rights reserved.

For my father, Lewis Spence who had the original idea And for my brother, Padraic Spence who perfected it

Table of Contents Preface Introduction The Spence & Company Guide to Effective Communication 1. The Mystery Story and Other Communication Strategies 2. Writing for Your Readers—The Tools of Persuasion 3. Defining Your Message: Position, Issues, Data, Conclusions, Recommendations 4. Organizing Your Message: Opening Statement, Body, Summing Up 5. Concluding at the Beginning: The Opening Statement 6. Quick and Clear: Your Outline in 5 Minutes 7. Even Quicker: Guidelines for E-mail 8. Just the Facts, Please: The Body 9. Once More with Feeling: The Summing Up 10. Working with the Long Worksheet 11. Quick and Dirty: Your Draft in 10 Minutes 12. Quick and Clean: The Final Edit 13. Style After a While 14. Highlighting Your Argument with Formatting 15. Presentations—The Same Principles Apply 16. There’s No Such Thing as Merely Informational Writing 17. Communication for All Occasions 18. Suggestions for Further Reading Glossary About the Author

As soon as you move one step up from the bottom, your effectiveness depends on your ability to reach others through the spoken and written word. PETER DRUCKER

Preface The approach to business communication explained in this book was developed by my father, Lewis Spence, in the early 1950s. It has been taught ever since to professionals at leading companies of all kinds throughout the United States, as well as overseas. The approach applies the principles of rhetoric, or effective argumentation, to all types of written and spoken communication. It will enable you, in any circumstance, to identify your key message and present a concise and persuasive argument to support it. When my father started Spence & Company in 1953, no one had thought to teach communication skills to business people. And it all began quite by chance. Having worked as a reporter for Time, my father decided to go out on his own, offering his services as a freelance writer to corporations. His idea was that he would write their annual reports and other communications. Through an acquaintance, he got an appointment with Marvin Bower, CEO of McKinsey & Company. In the interview, Bower told my father that McKinsey didn’t need his services as a writer. But if Lewis Spence could teach McKinsey consultants how to write, Bower would be interested. My father had two weeks to develop a proposal for a course on business writing. By chance, he found a book by a famous novelist that taught the principles of rhetoric as the foundation for good writing. Somehow, my father picked the principles he needed out of that five-hundred-page treatise and adapted them to the requirements of business. Thus was born the unique, structured

approach to writing that has been the signature of Spence & Company training programs, without modification, for over 60 years. My father taught McKinsey consultants for many years, and to this day, McKinsey consultants still compose their reports and business correspondence using principles you’ll learn in this book. In time, some of my father’s students became senior managers in America’s largest corporations. Many invited him to train their staff in the Spence & Company principles for “organizing ideas—the key to effective writing.” In this way, Spence & Company became the source for training in business writing at numerous Fortune 500 companies. My brother, Padraic Spence, joined Spence & Company in 1977. Pad had the insight that the principles of my father’s approach to business writing could be captured in a set of universal templates. To that end, he developed the Worksheets for Organizing Ideas, the Email Outline, and the Reader Profile Form that you’ll learn to use in this book. Padraic also wrote the first edition of Organizing Ideas, which appeared in 1996 under the title Write Smart. Business communication has changed somewhat since then, especially with the use of e-mail and presentations as primary tools for sharing information and making decisions. Therefore, I’ve included new chapters on those topics in particular, and expanded the explanation of the Spence & Company approach throughout this edition of the book. The premise of Spence & Company’s approach to business communication is that what you write or say is only as clear as the thinking that goes into it. Therefore, you’ll discover as you read Organizing Ideas that although the formal topic of the book is business communication, what you’re actually learning is a thinking process—a systematic approach to organizing your ideas and information and developing an effective argument to support your point of view.

This focus on organizing ideas is what makes the Spence & Company approach unique among books and workshops on business communication. The “thinking process” you’ll learn is based on the discipline of rhetoric. Rhetoric is the art of speaking or writing effectively to influence an audience. It was first developed over 2,500 years ago by the ancient Greeks to teach the skill of public speaking that was needed to participate effectively in their system of democratic government. Rhetoric provides a way to think systematically about all the components of effective communication: What is the circumstance? What will you say? Who is your audience? How will you influence them? From antiquity until about a hundred years ago, everyone in the Western world who learned to read and write learned the discipline of rhetoric. It was the primary method for teaching people the arts of public speaking and writing, and was one of the foundation disciplines of Western education. There’s an ancient idea that to name something is to have power over it, because naming a thing brings it into consciousness. The power of rhetoric is that it names or identifies the elements needed to construct a clear and persuasive argument. Rhetoric begins by asking us to identify our point of view about a topic, and then select and organize ideas and information to present it clearly and concisely. Approached in this way, communication is about options: finding the best way to express ideas to persuade or influence an audience. In this context, choices about what word to use or how to compose a sentence are less about whether our choices are right or wrong, and more about how they too contribute to expressing our point of view. The purpose of the approach to communication you’ll learn in Organizing Ideas is to help you explore the options at your disposal for communicating your ideas. The principles you’ll learn will enable you to sort through a head full of ideas and information, identify

what you want to say, and compose a logical and convincing presentation of your point of view. The book begins by explaining these principles as they apply to the task of writing. Chapter 15 then discusses how to use them to prepare and deliver effective presentations. The last chapter illustrates how these principles apply to any task that requires clear thinking and clear communication. We all know that writing or speaking well is challenging, even for those who are good at it. But anyone can take the drudgery out of writing by learning the principles and using the worksheets in this book. They will enable you to compose documents and presentations in less time, with greater clarity, ease, and confidence. With that objective in mind, let’s get started.

There are three rules for writing… Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM

Introduction Whether it’s a business memo, a trip report, a letter, an e-mail, a technical report, minutes of a meeting, or a proposal, whatever its subject, format, or length—business communication that gets action is distinguished by its primary feature: it provides the basis for a decision. In the Spence & Company approach to business communication, we refer to such a document as a “decision-oriented communication.” Such documents and presentations present the proposal, point of view, and information that enable decision-makers to act. In every case, business and technical documents must call for decisions, report decisions, or provide an evaluation that someone can use to make a decision. They’re the documents that make things happen. They’re the most important communications in business. But too often, the business correspondence and presentations we see every day fail to provide a clear basis for decision making. They fail to make a clear and coherent argument for a course of action. Or they present information without a clear explanation of what that information means. They don’t tell their audience what to do or what to believe. As a result, people in business typically spend too much time figuring out why they’ve received a communication, what the point is, or what they’re supposed to do about it. Given the amount of email most people manage every day, not everyone takes the time to answer these questions. And not just time is lost, but opportunities. The other side of this failure to communicate is that it often takes people a lot of time to write a more complex e-mail or prepare an effective presentation. And still, the message is not always clear.

What few people seem to know is that there are principles of effective communication that can resolve these problems in business communication for everyone. Since 1953, Spence & Company has taught these principles to more than 50,000 business men and women at many of the most successful and fastest-growing companies worldwide. The skills these professionals learn enable them to write documents and presentations that are clearer, more concise, and more convincing, and to spend less time doing so.

Organizing Ideas explains these principles. You’ll learn a step-by-step procedure for preparing any communication. You’ll master a fill-inthe-blanks form—the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas—that helps you to determine what information you should include in your document and the best order in which to present it. You’ll learn what to put in the first sentence of a piece of correspondence, what in the second, and what critical statement must appear in the first sentence of the second paragraph. No other approach we know of provides such explicit guidance for composing business correspondence. Typically, most books on business writing are style guides— compendia of minutiae, focusing on the rules of grammar and punctuation. But grammar and punctuation are not the problem. Most people in business can write a satisfactory sentence and a coherent paragraph—but they don’t put their sentences in an effective order that, from one paragraph to the next, develops an argument that supports a decision. And it’s the order in which ideas and information are presented that makes a communication effective.

An Example of the Spence & Company Approach To illustrate the approach in this book, let’s begin with example from Spence & Company files. Stop for a moment and read the example on the next page. It doesn’t represent the approach taught in this book, as indicated by the icon in the upper right corner. You’ll see this icon whenever “before” and “after” versions are presented in

this book and the companion volume, Business Writing: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. At first it looks like the most important information is buried at the end of the fourth paragraph: “it would appear more logical to increase the memory in our present hardware and upgrade our existing software. . . .” However, the memo is responding to the reader’s request for a review of a proposal to purchase ten new laptops. The reader wants to know the writer’s point of view about the proposed purchase. The writer’s view may be inferred here, but that’s not good enough in business writing. The writer must call for an explicit decision: “I recommend rejecting this proposal…” When you’ve finished reading the document below, look at the following page to see how we outline the ideas in the memo on the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas, and then use the outline to revise the memo. As you read the example below, ask yourself, “What exactly is the point?” Subject: Comments on Proposal for Computer Purchase                           As you requested, a review of the proposal for purchase of 25 Dell ultrabooks for the sales staff has been performed and there are reservations about the benefits of the purchase. The sales force is currently using HP notebooks that are three years old and have limited memory—only 32 gigabytes of RAM. As a result, salespeople are prevented from using more sophisticated CRM software that they claim would make their record-keeping simpler. However, a closer examination of the proposal suggests the effort required to master the new software would offset the increase in efficiency claimed in the proposal. In fact, PC Support believes that a two-day workshop costing $350 per person would be

necessary for salespeople to become proficient in using the new software. In addition, the proposed ultrabooks would cost $1,299 each, which is five times the expense of increasing the RAM in our present equipment from 32 gigabytes to 64 gigabytes. There would also be a licensing cost of $65 per person per month for the new CRM software. In conclusion, the only apparent benefit from this proposal would be the lightness and greater portability of the proposed Dell machines as compared with our present notebooks, which are heavier and more cumbersome. Although the lightness of the ultrabooks would be convenient for our sales staff, it does not represent a sufficient advantage to justify the purchase price of the ultrabooks, plus the cost of licenses and training for the proposed CRM software. Therefore, it would appear more logical to increase the memory in our present hardware and upgrade our existing software, which would achieve some of the efficiencies the sales force is seeking. If you decide not to purchase the Dell notebooks, I will get quotes on the cost of upgrading the existing hardware and software.

Following is the memo composed from the outline on the Worksheet. In brackets are terms that identify the elements of an effective message, which you’ll learn about in the chapters that follow. The revised memo contains no new information. Instead, using the Worksheet as a guide, the points in the original memo have been rearranged in an order that will be easier for readers to understand. Subject: Purchase of Dell Ultrabooks—Not Recommended As you requested, I have reviewed the proposal to purchase 25 Dell ultrabooks plus new CRM software for the sales staff [What Prompts Your Document Now]. I have some reservations about the advantages of the purchase [Importance of Subject]. Based on my review, I recommend we reject this proposal [Position]. Instead, I suggest we increase the memory in Sales’ existing notebooks and upgrade their software, which would achieve some of the efficiencies the sales force is seeking [Action Program]. By way of background, Sales is currently using HP notebooks, which they have had for three years. The computers have 32 gigabytes of RAM, which sales personnel say prevents them from taking advantage of new, more sophisticated CRM software. They claim such software would make their record-keeping simpler [Essential Background]. There are two primary drawbacks to buying the Dell ultrabooks. ●   Cost

of the Ultrabooks—The purchase price of $1,299 per ultrabook is 5 times the expense of increasing the RAM in our present equipment from 32 gigabytes to 64 gigabytes. ●   Cost

and Complexity of the CRM software—There is a licensing fee of $65 per person per month for the new CRM software. In addition, the effort required to learn the new software would offset the increase in efficiency claimed in the proposal. In fact, PC Support believes that a two-day workshop costing $350 per

person would be necessary for salespeople to become proficient in using the new software [Conclusions]. The only apparent benefit from this proposal would be the greater portability of the proposed Dell machines as compared with our present notebooks. Although the lightness of the ultrabooks would be convenient for our sales staff, it does not represent a sufficient advantage to justify the purchase price of the ultrabooks, plus the cost of licenses and training for the proposed CRM software. [Conclusion]. If you decide not to purchase the Dell notebooks, I will get quotes on the cost of upgrading the existing hardware and software [Future Work].

An Overview of the Book Organizing Ideas is a cookbook, complete with all the critical ingredients. It teaches you how to use the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas illustrated in the previous example to produce a clear and persuasive document. And it recommends a process for producing an e-mail or short memo in three simple steps in 20 minutes or less. Using the Worksheet, you’ll organize your ideas and information in 5 minutes. Applying techniques for expanding your outline into full sentences and paragraphs, you’ll compose your rough draft in 10 minutes. Finally, with four rules for paragraph structure and five principles for sentence structure, you’ll have all the guidance you need to edit your rough draft in 5 minutes. To help you master the principles in this book, we’ve also prepared a supplement, Business Writing: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. It provides numerous examples of documents from e-mails and memos, to proposals, reports, minutes of meetings, scientific articles, and cover letters for resumes. As may already be obvious, the approach recommended in this book applies to all types of communication. We begin by examining the principles of effective communication as they apply to business

writing. Then in Chapter 15, we explain how these same principles apply to preparing, designing, and delivering presentations. Our explanation of the principles of effective communication begins in Chapter 1, The Mystery Story and Other Communication Strategies, with a discussion of six approaches to communication that people commonly use when composing business documents. As you’ll see, understanding why these approaches are usually ineffective will go a long way toward clarifying what needs to be done differently. In Chapter 2, Writing for Your Readers—The Tools of Persuasion, you’ll learn how to think systematically about your audience—the people you’re either writing or speaking to—and identify how their interests should affect the way you compose a document or presentation. The Spence & Company approach to effective communication is based on principles that help you decide (1) what information to include in a document and (2) the best order in which to present your information. Chapter 3, entitled Defining Your Message, presents the five types of information you must consider for inclusion in your correspondence. These are the Position, the Issues, the Data, the Conclusions, and the Recommendations. Chapter 4, Organizing Your Message, describes the Opening Statement—Body—Summing Up structure for organizing and presenting information, whether in a written document or a presentation. How to compose an Opening Statement—which may be an Executive Summary, a one-page memo or e-mail, or the opening to a presentation—is explained in Chapter 5, Concluding at the Beginning. How to use the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas—Short Form to plan an Opening Statement is described in Chapter 6, Quick and Clear: Your Outline in 5 Minutes. Finally, guidelines for applying

this structure to writing e-mail are discussed in Chapter 7, Even Quicker—Guidelines for E-mail. Planning the Body and the Summing Up of a document are discussed in Chapters 8 and 9, respectively. Chapter 10 shows how to plan longer documents that require the presentation of Data, or an expanded discussion of your Conclusions and Recommendations. Chapter 11, Quick and Dirty—Your Draft in 10 Minutes, provides guidelines for drafting a document from the outline you’ve prepared on a Worksheet. In Chapter 12, Quick and Clean—The Final Edit, you’ll learn nine principles for editing your paragraphs and sentences to put any piece of writing into final form. Chapter 13, Style After a While, offers suggestions for developing a writing style that complements the structured approach to communication described in the previous chapters of the book. Chapter 14 completes the discussion of business writing by explaining how Subjects, sideheadings, lists, and other document formatting can be used to highlight the elements of your message. Chapter 15 explains how the principles discussed throughout the book apply not only to business writing, but to planning, designing, and delivering presentations, as well. Chapter 16 challenges the assumption that some documents in business are “merely informational,” and proposes an approach to writing procedures, policies, standards, business plans, and other types of documentation that people are more likely to read. Chapter 17 explores how the principles of effective communication apply to phone calls, meetings, strategic planning, and other business situations that require the skills of effective communication. And Chapter 18 recommends books on various topics in business communication that complement or extend the principles explained in Organizing Ideas. A Glossary and an Index provide additional tools for studying and understanding the concepts and principles explained throughout the

book. Now, before we examine the Spence & Company approach to planning and composing effective messages, let’s look at some common approaches to business communication, and why you would do well to avoid them.

The Spence & Company Guide to Effective Communication The Spence & Company approach to business communication can be summarized as follows: Composing Documents Opening Statement—Answer three questions for your readers:

Why are you writing your document? ●   Explain

what prompts your document—Are you answering a question? Responding to a request? Addressing a problem? ●   Stress

the importance of your subject.

What is your document about? your Position, explaining what you want your readers to do or believe. Your Position should usually appear as the topic sentence of your second paragraph. ●   State

●   Provide

essential background, define technical terms, summarize the sources of your Data, and give any assumptions and limitations.

How will you discuss your subject? your Issues or, better still, your Conclusions as well as your Recommendations. ●   List

Body—Keep three rules in mind: ●   Discuss ●   Start

Data.

your Issues in descending order of importance.

each Issue with a statement of your Conclusion; then present

only enough Data to make your Conclusions clear and convincing. ●   Present

Summing Up—In this section you may: ●   Restate

your Position;

●   Recap

the major Conclusions;

your Recommendations: (1) the action program you want your readers to carry out, and (2) the future work that you intend to do. ●   Reiterate

_________________________________ Editing Documents Check Your Paragraphs Using Four Rules ●   Limit

each paragraph to one topic.

●   Begin

each paragraph with a topic sentence.

●   Limit

each paragraph to four to five sentences, or 1 to 1½ inches of single-spaced text. ●   Link

the sentences in a paragraph by: (1) using a connective, or (2) repeating a key word or idea from the preceding sentence. Apply Five Guidelines To Your Sentences ●   Limit

your sentences to a maximum or two ideas or two verbs.

●   Limit

the average length of your sentences to 18 to 20 words.

●   Omit

unnecessary words, checking each word to see if it can be left

out.

●   Use ●   Use

simple, familiar words.

the active voice and keep the verb at the beginning of the sentence.

Consistently, people’s top three time-wasters are all related to communication and cost people at least two hours of wasted time per day. STEPHEN KLIMENT

1. The Mystery Story and Other Communication

Strategies In over 60 years of teaching business communication to countless professionals, Spence & Company has critiqued thousands of memos, letters, reports, and presentations. We’ve found that, consciously or not, people commonly adopt one or more of six common communication strategies when they write or speak. As you’ll see, however, these six strategies are frequently the causes of poor business communication. Therefore, although each strategy may have its uses in certain situations, before using any of them, you may want to consider whether it’s the most effective way to convey your message. The six strategies I’m referring to are: 1. The Mystery Story—Presenting Conclusions and Recommendations at the end of a document or presentation. 2. The Data Dump—Telling readers everything you know about a topic. 3. All about Me—Only presenting your own point of view, and not addressing the interests and concerns of your audience. 4. Baffle ’em with Bullshit—Using jargon, fancy words, and elaborate sentences to establish an authoritative tone. 5. Weasel Words—Qualifying your Conclusions and Recommendations to such an extent that you obscure your point of view. 6. The Perfect Draft—Planning, composing, and editing a document or presentation, all at the same time.

Once you understand the Spence & Company approach to communications, you may recognize that there’s a logic to this list of strategies. Each strategy attempts to address a critical challenge of written or spoken communication. The Mystery Story, for example, is an attempt to structure a message, or determine the best order in which to present ideas and information. The Data Dump is a choice about how much information should be included in a document. All about Me is about understanding that effective communication requires that you do more than organize your own ideas. In addition, you must relate your ideas to your readers’ reality by addressing their concerns in terms that will be meaningful to them. Strategies 4 and 5—the Baffle ‘em with Bullshit and Weasel Words— are about how to use word choice and sentence structure to establish the tone of a message. The final strategy—attempting to write a Perfect Draft—is about the best way to go about the creative task of communicating an idea. If we examine each of these strategies, we’ll discover that in each case there are more effective alternatives. These alternatives provide a preview of the principles of effective communication that are explained in subsequent chapters of the book.

1. The Mystery Story We see Mystery Stories when correspondence doesn’t present Conclusions or tell the reader what needs to happen until the end of a document or presentation. The Mystery Story approach is the most prevalent form of poor communication in business. But Mystery Stories are also standard business practice. What is the most important information in any communication in business? The Conclusions and Recommendations. Where can you expect to find that information? At the end!

This approach works in an actual mystery story because it keeps us reading to find out how the case gets solved. In business, however, readers tend to get bored or impatient when the purpose of a document is not clear from the beginning. Mystery Stories are what make people say, “Where’s this going?”, “What’s the point?” or throw up their hands and say, “Give me the bottom line!” What’s the alternative? Start with your Conclusions. First, present your point of view and the ideas that support or prove it. Then, explain your Recommendations, or Next Steps. By giving your audience a summary of your point of view at the beginning of your communication, you give them a basis for understanding or navigating whatever additional detail you may need to support your argument. People in business frequently adopt the Mystery Story approach to writing and presenting because they’ve learned at some point to present information and ideas in one of two ways: a.     In the order in which they did their thinking, or b.     In the order in which events occurred. Let’s look at each of these approaches to organizing information.

a. Presenting information in the order we did our thinking When writing to justify a point of view, many people present their argument in the same order in which they did their thinking. They begin by identifying the problem or issue. Then they explain the history of the problem, their efforts to solve it, the data they gathered, alternative solutions they considered. Only at the end do they present their solution with Conclusions and Recommendations. This structure is a classic Mystery Story. Presenting ideas in this order seems reasonable, since we all learned to write this way in school: it’s the structure of a lab report. We were led to believe that the most persuasive way to make an argument or present information was to walk our readers through our thinking process. The idea being that, by following the steps in our

reasoning, readers would see the validity of our analysis and accept our Conclusions. In business, however, readers usually take matters into their own hands when the purpose of a document is not clear at the beginning. They skip to the end, looking for our conclusions, and then skim the rest of the document for information that supports them. At this point, our Mystery Story has failed as a strategy for influencing readers. They’re reading according to their own agenda, rather than the way we had planned for them to read. And our readers may draw conclusions we never intended. We also present information in the order in which we did our thinking when we compose a document before we know what we want to say. This “I’ll figure it out as I go along” approach is the way most of us write e-mail. We open a new message or click Reply, and start banging away. After a few paragraphs, we realize what we really want to say. So, we throw it down in the last paragraph, and hit the Send button. Again, we’ve written a Mystery Story. Although we may recognize that the message we’ve written is just a rough draft, few of us have learned how to edit our own writing. So, we just go with the way we’ve always written. The result? Sometimes we get the information or action we need, and sometimes we don’t.

b. Presenting information in chronological order The other reason people write Mystery Stories is because they’re presenting information in chronological order. Minutes of meetings, trip reports, and monthly reports are almost invariably written in this fashion. They’re blow-by-blow accounts of who said what, where we went, what happened last month. Again, readers are required to read the entire document to learn the outcome of the event or activity, and even that information is not always present. What these types of reports need is a summary or evaluation of the meeting or events at the beginning of the document that tells the

reader the gist of what happened and why they need to know about it. That way, readers have a framework within which to understand the details that follow. Although Mystery Stories are fun for entertainment, in business they’re boring and often confusing. Eliminate the Mystery Story approach in all your correspondence. Beginning in Chapter 3, you’ll learn an approach to communication that enables you to identify what you want your readers to do or believe before you write. And you’ll learn to present that point of view and the reasons that support it at the beginning of your correspondence.

2. The Data Dump A second common strategy that results in poor communication is the Data Dump, which is based on the assumption that the more information people have, the better they will understand your topic, or that people need to know everything to understand anything. The opposite is frequently the case. Too much information is often confusing, because people don’t know what to focus on, or what it all means. What’s the alternative? Data is most persuasive when we include just enough information to prove or support the point we’re making or the Conclusions we’ve drawn. Limiting the amount of information we present can be challenging, of course, especially when we want to impress a manager or client with how much we know about our topic. But managers and clients don’t usually care how much we know. They want to know what our information means for them. They want the answer to a question or a solution to a business problem. Which is not to say that having a lot of information is always a bad thing. We often need to research a topic in depth before we can come to a conclusion about it. The challenge is knowing how much information to include in a document and how to present it.

In Chapter 3, Defining Your Message, you’ll learn the five types of information that you must consider for inclusion in any message. And you’ll learn to use these categories to decide what information to include and what information to leave out of your correspondence. The key to presenting information is to do our data dump before we write, rather than while we write. In the section on Issues in Chapter 3, you’ll learn how to select and use your data to support the point of view you’re advocating.

3. All about Me Any document that uses the Mystery Story or Data Dump approaches we’ve just discussed will tend to give readers the feeling that the author is writing in his own terms about what he thinks is important. In other words, it’s all about the writer. Little or no effort is made to connect with readers by addressing what’s important to them. Communication does not truly begin until we talk to others in their language about their concerns. Without a clear understanding of our readers’ needs, we’ve no basis for showing readers how our Conclusions and Recommendations about a topic will benefit or should be of interest to them. This gulf between the writer and reader is particularly common when technical professionals report their findings to managers or clients. Consultants and researchers, for example, typically focus on the thoroughness of their study, providing detailed accounts of their research methods and results, rather than explaining what their information means for their readers. Managers and clients, on the other hand, want to know what the findings mean for them: Can a wetland be restored? Can a drug cure a disease? Does a bridge need a retrofit? What’s the alternative? To communicate effectively, we need to know who we’re addressing, and make our point of view relevant to

them. We must speak to readers in their language, about issues that are of concern them. Chapter 2, Writing for Your Readers: The Tools of Persuasion, presents a systematic approach to evaluating readers’ needs and interests. You’ll learn to use the Reader Profile Form to identify what you know about your readers and how that information should affect the way you write.

4. Baffle ’em with Bullshit Some people believe that big words are a sign of intelligence and a first class education. So they package their messages in twentydollar words, bureaucratic phrases, and complex sentences they think sound authoritative. In other words, they use style to establish their credibility as the writer, rather than the strength of their arguments. Or, as W.C. Fields once said, “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bullshit.” In Writing for Design Professionals, Stephen Kliment points out that professionals often pad their writing with fancy prose to convey “a bit of mystery about their line of work… Doctors, lawyers, generals, ministers, even barbers and car salespeople, have been known to invoke this ‘I know best’ ruse. It is not a good technique. We live in the age of the Internet, the Freedom of Information Act, and intense public curiosity. Frankness, clarity, and honesty are expected of those with special skills and responsibilities.” Intentionally or not, we all run the risk of baffling our readers, given how specialized our professions are and the unique vocabulary each profession uses. To write in plain English that everyone understands can be challenging. The extra effort it takes to write clearly, however, is essential if our readers are to understand our point of view. What’s the alternative? In Chapter 11, Quick and Clean: The Final Edit in 5 Minutes, you’ll find guidelines for making sentences clearer by using simple, familiar words and limiting the length of your sentences. With practice, you’ll find yourself writing use instead of utilize, its popular twenty-dollar synonym.

5. Weasel Words A fifth strategy that frequently results in muddled writing is hedging what we have to say with “weasel words.” This approach is typical of cautious writers who are reluctant to take a stand. Every statement that advances a Conclusion or Recommendation is accompanied by a phrase that takes it back again: it appears, it seems, maybe, possibly, and the like. Lost in this quagmire of qualifiers is a point of view. Classic weasel words include almost, basically, and virtually. “Basically, we anticipate completing the project by April 1” means there’s no way we’ll finish by that date. Or, “The development work is virtually (or almost) complete” means, if we’re lucky, about ten percent of the work is finished. What’s the alternative? The Spence & Company approach to business communication calls for a change in tone. We advocate advocacy. Take a stand in your business communications. Tell your readers in unequivocal terms what you want them to do or believe, right up front, even if your point of view is controversial. And then present an argument that supports or proves your point of view.

6. The Perfect Draft The sixth and final cause of ineffective writing is trying to compose a communication in a single pass. We try to figure out what we want to say, find the words to say it, and perfect our writing, all at the same time. We often combine these steps because we think we don’t have time to plan our ideas, then draft them, and finally revise our draft. But combining these activities only complicates the process, and usually ends up taking more time. Writing is a complex process that involves three separate tasks: thinking, writing, and editing. Each of these activities is different enough from the other two that they cannot be done simultaneously

and done well. Therefore, we must divide the writing process into a separate step for each activity. We don’t know what we’re going to say, so words don’t come and the writing is slow. Much of the revising and editing we do while drafting, furthermore, is simply procrastination. We don’t know what we’re trying to say, so we fiddle with what we’ve already written. The result is a meandering, fragmented memo that takes forever to write. What’s the alternative? To take the unnecessary struggle out of writing, commit to using the three-step approach presented in the chapters that follow. Writing will become efficient, almost easy. And your correspondence will be clear, concise, and convincing. Here’s the approach in a nutshell: 1. Thinking Phase—Fill out the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas, using key words and phrases to identify what you’re going to say and the order in which you’re going to say it. Filling out a Worksheet to outline a one-page document should take about 5 minutes. You’ll learn about the elements of the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas in Chapters 3, 4, and 5, and how to use it in Chapter 6. 2. Writing Phase—Compose a draft of your correspondence by expanding the words and phrases on your Worksheet into full sentences and paragraphs. Using the completed Worksheet as your guide, drafting a routine document of a page or less can take as little as 10 minutes. Chapter 11, Quick and Dirty, gives guidelines for converting your outline into a rough draft. 3. Editing Phase—Polish your draft by applying nine principles for editing. In this last stage of composing your document, you’ll be able to edit your draft in 5 minutes. Chapter 12, Quick and Clean, presents the nine principles for editing, which are all you’ll need to put your document into final form. The six strategies outlined in this chapter frequently lead to failures of communication. They’re all extensions of the writer’s needs and concerns, and don’t take readers’ interests into account. Mystery

Stories present information in an order that seems logical to the writer. A Data Dump presents information the writer thinks is important. The Baffle `em with Bullshit strategy derives from writers’ needs to establish their authority, whereas the use of Weasel Words reflects a writer’s anxiety about advocating a point of view. The purpose of business communication, however, is to influence or persuade an audience. Therefore, before we explain how to organize our thoughts, we need to consider how to take our readers into account in the writing process. Who are we writing to? What information do they need? What do we know about our audience, and how should this information affect what we write, or how we organize a presentation? In Chapter 2 that follows, you’ll learn to think systematically about your audience and speak to their needs and concerns.

The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think. EDWIN SCHLOSSBERG

2. Writing for Your Readers—The Tools of Persuasion Writing for your readers is widely recognized as one of the keys to effective communication, but the failure to do so is also one of the most common mistakes in business writing. It comes about, in part, because few of us have learned how to think systematically about our readers and address their interests when we write. And, of course, everything said here about readers applies equally to audiences when preparing a presentation. At the end of the last chapter, we described planning as the first step in the writing process. This Planning step often involves two activities. Not only do we need to figure out what we want to say, but at some point we also have to figure out how to pitch our ideas to our readers in a way they will understand. To get and hold readers’ attention, we need to answer the question, “What’s in it for them?” How much effort we invest in thinking about our readers or listeners will depend, of course, on the importance of our document and the complexity of our audience. There are, therefore, a number of questions we need to consider to effectively “write for our readers.” They range from simple to complex. Let’s begin by looking at reader needs that apply under all circumstances. Then we’ll consider how to identify the characteristics of more complex audiences and adapt our writing to address their diverse needs.

What All Readers Need At the simplest level, there’s one assumption we can safely make about our readers: they’re, essentially, just like us. Every day, they

receive more information than human beings were designed to deal with. In other words, our readers are working under stress, and as a result: People don’t read, they skim. They read selectively, looking for information that is important to them. Therefore, the first principle to remember about writing for our readers is that we should reduce the time it takes people to understand our message. This means we should write so that they can skim what we’ve written without missing important information, and easily identify what they need to know and what we want them to do about it. These reading habits are, of course, especially true of anyone dealing with the daily stream of e-mail. Writing so readers can skim and read selectively is not just a courtesy. It’s an essential strategy for ensuring that our e-mails get read, and that readers give us the information or the action we need in response. In the chapters that follow, you’ll learn to organize a message so that readers can skim it and quickly grasp why you’re writing. You’ll learn, as well, to structure your message in a way that enables recipients to read only as much detail as they want, without missing essential information. And you’ll learn to use formatting and layout techniques to highlight the key elements of your message and help readers navigate the details. By using this approach, you’ll increase the likelihood that readers will give you the information or the action you need.

Addressing Complex Audiences—The Three Tools of Persuasion Beyond this basic level of attention to readers’ needs, we often need to address several individuals who have differing interests and concerns. Such instances require that we think systematically about the responsibilities, concerns, and personal characteristics of those

we’re writing to. As explained below, these qualities will affect the content, the order, and the tone of what we write. Content—Our readers determine the content of what we write because we need to tell them what they need to know, rather than what we know. Order—Our readers determine the order of what we write, because we must present information in the order of its importance to them. Tone—Our readers determine the tone of our message because the nature of our relationship with our readers will determine how we frame our message. Can we advocate a decision ourselves, for example, or should we let our readers decide what to do about our topic? Knowing how to tailor the content, the order, and the tone of a communication to a particular audience requires that we answer two questions: What do I know about my readers? How will this affect how I write my message? Answering these two questions will enable us to identify the arguments and information that are most likely to influence our readers’ point of view about our topic. To answer these questions it helps as well to know something about the art of persuasion and the tools at our disposal for influencing others. To this end, there are no simpler, more penetrating insights into the psychology of persuasion than those of the rhetoricians of the ancient world, as systematized by Aristotle in particular. In his treatise On Rhetoric, Aristotle argues that the most effective speakers and writers draw on three tools of persuasion, as follows: Logos—the appeal to logic or reason Ethos—the appeal to character or trust Pathos—the appeal to motivation or inspiration

Logos, or the appeal to logic or reason, says that to persuade anyone of something, we must, at the very least, present them with a well-reasoned argument that demonstrates the validity of our point of view on logical grounds. Reason and logic alone, however, are seldom sufficient to sway an audience. To be truly persuasive, we must also convince our readers that we can be trusted. This is persuasion through Ethos. In simplest terms, the “appeal to character” means that we must establish our credibility as an authority on our topic and the validity of our data. At a more visceral level, we must convince our audience that we’re people just like them, who have their interests in mind. Finally, whereas we may be able to convince people of the validity of our position through the use of reason, to move people to action, we must appeal to their gut feelings about the position we’re advocating. This is persuasion through Pathos—our ability to motivate or inspire people to action by appealing to deeply held values and beliefs. Remember the old adage from sales: people buy on impulse and justify later with logic or fact. As you’ll discover, beginning in Chapter 3, the logical organization and presentation of ideas and information is a primary focus of the approach to writing explained in this book. The worksheets you’ll use to plan a message are designed to develop your ability to construct a logical argument. Within that logical structure, however, there are several ways to incorporate the other, less rational tools of persuasion as you plan and compose your message. In addition to establishing your credibility as an authority on your topic, trust can also be established with readers by demonstrating that you’re taking their needs into account. One way to do this by including background information and defining terms that readers may need to understand the point of view you’re advocating. Readers’ trust can also be cultivated by acknowledging concerns and addressing any objections you know they have to your topic. Discussing the assumptions you’ve used to interpret your findings is

another way to establish common ground with an audience, especially if your assumptions are based on values and beliefs that your readers also share. Appealing successfully to the values and beliefs that motivate readers rests primarily on your ability to show that your point of view addresses issues or outcomes that are important to them. And getting people to act usually requires that you make explicit what you want them to do to advance your proposal. Therefore, an unambiguous “call to action” is usually an essential component of good communication. To make effective use of any of these means of persuasion, we must identify who we’re addressing, what we know about them, and how our message should address their concerns. What rational arguments will carry the most weight? How can we win their trust in us as experts on the subject of our proposal? And how can we motivate readers to act on our recommendations? Let’s begin, therefore, by considering how to systematically evaluate an audience.

Identifying What You Know about Your Readers The first step in evaluating readers is to gather the information you know about them. The following five questions identify the primary characteristics of your audience that will determine how you craft your message. 1. Who are your key readers? 2. What do your readers know about you and your topic? 3. How much detail do your readers want? 4. Do your readers have a point of view about your topic? 5. What are your readers’ core values and beliefs? Each question is discussed below in terms of the information you want to obtain from each question and how that information will

affect your message.

1. Who are your key readers? Focus on the decision-makers—those who will act on your message. These are your key readers. Your secondary readers are those who receive your correspondence for informational purposes. These include people on your distribution list, readers you’re “cc-ing”, or individuals with whom your key readers share your message. Although your secondary readers will tend to have a lesser role in the decision-making process, they may also influence your key readers in significant ways. Consider, as well, whether your key readers are bold or cautious decision makers. If they’re bold, they will act on your proposal themselves. If they’re cautious, they may ask some of your secondary readers to evaluate or comment on your point of view. If some of your secondary readers are going to contribute to the decision-making process, what do you know about them that should affect the way you write?

2. What do your readers know about you and about your topic? What your readers know about you will determine whether you need to establish your credibility as the writer. Are your readers already familiar with you as someone with the competence or expertise to evaluate and make recommendations about your topic? How much your readers know about your topic will determine whether you need to define technical terms or give background so that your readers can understand what you’re writing about. Writing to your readers’ level of expertise is a matter of balance. You don’t want to alienate your readers by telling them things they already know. But you also don’t want to lose their attention because they don’t understand what you’re talking about.

3. How much detail do your readers want?

Whereas the previous question addressed the type of information your readers need to trust you as an authority, this question asks you to consider how much information will be necessary to persuade your readers of the validity of your point of view. Are your readers detail-oriented, or are they looking to understand the big picture? Do you need to present all the data that supports your argument? Or will your readers be more comfortable with a broad-stroke, conceptual discussion of your topic? To address these apparently conflicting demands relative to detail, use the Opening Statement—Body—Summing Up structure explained in Chapter 4. Whereas an Opening Statement, or Executive Summary, gives everyone a high-level summary of your point of view, those who want to study the details can find it in the Body, where Data and discussion are presented.

4. Do your readers have a point of view about your topic? Do your readers already have objections to what you’re proposing? If so, you’ll need to show how the advantages of your proposal outweigh their concerns. Or if your readers have a particular concern, such as cost, you’ll need to address their apprehensions and win them over on that matter. Remember that your argument is stronger when you acknowledge counter-arguments and potential weaknesses. Doing so shows that you’re open-minded, capable of critical thinking, and not afraid to embrace reality in all its complexity and messiness. To be persuasive, however, you must of course show that overall your argument is sound, despite any objections your readers may raise.

5. What are your readers’ core values and beliefs? The last question you must answer about your readers is the broadest: you must identify what makes these people tick. What are their “drivers”? What is the framework of values and beliefs they use to make decisions? If you can identify that framework, you’ll have

acquired a powerful tool of persuasion—the ability to mirror the behavior and preferences of those you wish to influence. Showing readers that you share their values and beliefs is one of the most effective ways to win their trust. Rather than just presenting facts, show your readers that the criteria you’re using to interpret the facts are the same criteria that they’d use. If you can show your readers that you look at reality in the same way they do, you’re more likely to convince them that your Conclusions should be their Conclusions, as well. Once you’ve identified what you know about your readers, then you can evaluate how this knowledge should affect the content, the order, and the tone of what you write. In other words, you can determine how to frame your ideas and information in a way that will dispose your readers favorably to your point of view.

Determining How Your Readers Will Affect How You Write Now that you’ve identified the characteristics of your audience, the following four questions will help you tailor your message to address their concerns. Each of the following questions is one dimension of a single overarching consideration that your communication must address: How will you show your readers that you understand their reality? Too often, business writing is self-centered, even egotistical. No matter how well-phrased, it only succeeds in expressing the writer’s point of view and addressing his or her concerns. To engage our readers, and ultimately to be convincing, we must show that we’re capable of thinking about someone other than ourselves. We must show our readers that we understand their reality. We must show that we understand the challenges they face, and that our ideas are relevant to them. We must show how they will benefit from our

Conclusions and Recommendations about a situation that involves them. The following questions break that bigger question down into a series of simpler components. 1. What questions will readers ask about your proposal that your document must answer? 2. What obstacles do you anticipate? What can you do about them? 3. How will you inspire readers to act on your point of view? 4. How will readers use your document and how can you make it easier for them to use? As you’ll see in subsequent chapters, the questions above complement the information you’ll enter on the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas. The purpose of the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas is to help you identify your point of view about a topic and plan how you’re going to discuss it. By filling out the Reader Profile Form, you can test whether the ideas and information you think are important are the same ideas and information that your readers will find important. Let’s look at these questions one-by-one.

1. What questions will readers ask about your proposal that your document must answer? The inventory of your readers and their characteristics that you’ve created using the questions in the previous section should readily suggest a series of questions that your audience is likely to ask about your proposal or the evaluation your document presents. For readers to find your argument persuasive, your document must anticipate and address these questions. A simple way to identify questions that readers may have about your proposal is to begin by identifying questions that begin with Who, What, When, Where, Why, or How. These six words enable you to

review all aspects of a situation in terms of responsibility, time, location, rationale, and logistics. To help you focus your document, limit your list to no more than five principal questions you think readers will have. With more than five questions, you may lose sight of the most fundamental issues your document needs to address.

2. What obstacles do you anticipate? What can you do about them? In addition to questions of understanding, you should also consider whether your readers have a point of view that challenges, or even opposes, your proposal or evaluation. Anticipating and responding to readers’ concerns is often the best defense when confronting objections to a proposal. By explicitly acknowledging and addressing readers’ objections, you demonstrate your sensitivity to their perspective, the thoroughness of your consideration, and your openness to more than just your own point of view. If you’re to persuade skeptical readers of the validity of your proposal or evaluation, furthermore, you must demonstrate that the benefits of your proposal outweigh any objections readers may have.

3. How will you inspire readers to act on your point of view? In addition to constructing a logical argument to support your point of view, your document may also need to make an explicit “call to action” that motivates or even inspires your audience to act on your Conclusions and Recommendations. Typically, a call to action requires that you appeal not just to reason, but to readers’ emotions as well, or how they feel about your topic, and to the beliefs or values that guide their decision making. Your task, therefore, is to formulate a call to action that appeals to readers as both rational and emotional beings.

4. How will readers use your document and how can you make it easier to use?

Writing for your readers means not only addressing their interests and concerns, but attending as well to their practical needs. The validity of your point of view may be compromised if your readers cannot use your document easily to present your ideas to others. Therefore, consider how readers will use your document. Will it be distributed for discussion in a meeting or circulated for comment? Will it be forwarded to senior management for approval? In circumstances such as these, who else might read your document, and how you should account for their point of view? Consider whether you need to include information that will be necessary for some readers to understand your argument, such as a glossary of terms, background information, or a copy of the correspondence you’re answering.

The Reader Profile Form The nine questions in the previous two sections form the basis for the Reader Profile Form. The purpose of the form is to help you to think systematically about your audience and how to you’re going to address their concerns. In addition to the questions above, the Reader Profile Form also asks you to (1) consider what type of document will be the best way to communicate your ideas, and (2) identify your Position, or what you want your audience to do or believe. The importance of your Position and how to formulate it will be explained in the next three chapters. The Reader Profile Form on the following pages has been filled out as an example of how it’s to be used. The answers to the questions on the first page illustrate the information you’ll want to gather about your key readers and your secondary readers, or what you know about them. On the second page are examples of how this knowledge may affect what you write. You’ll find blank copies of the Reader Profile Form at the end of Business Writing: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. You can

photocopy the forms and use them to plan your documents. The form can also be used to evaluate the audience of a presentation. When your message is short and straightforward, and you know your readers well, you won’t need to answer all the questions on the Reader Profile Form. Your task is more complex, however, when your readers have different levels of expertise or conflicting views, when you must weigh political considerations or sensitive dynamics, or when your decision-makers are opposed to your proposal. In those instances, completing the Reader Profile Form can help to surface the issues you’ll need to consider and address in your communication. The quote from Edwin Schlossberg at the beginning of the chapter argues that one of the purposes of good writing is to enable other people to think more clearly. One way to do this is to speak directly to their needs and concerns and show how your proposal will benefit them. The other way to help others think clearly is to make your own thinking clear. Let’s look now at tools to help you identify exactly what you’re going to say and the best way to say it.

My most important piece of advice to all you would-be writers: when you write, try to leave out all the parts readers skip. ELMORE LEONARD

3. Defining Your Message: Position, Issues, Data, Conclusions, Recommendations Year after year prize-winning news stories are written by reporters as they race to meet a deadline. There’s a natural disaster, an outbreak of war, a major crime. The public expects that breaking news appear online within minutes. Despite these time constraints, reporters knock out clear, compelling, and informative accounts of these events. How do they do it? From their first day in the newsroom, reporters learn a classic structure that becomes part of their thought process. This structure answers two questions all of us must address to communicate effectively: 1. What information do I include and what do I leave out? 2. What is the best order in which to present my information? In this chapter, you’ll learn how to answer the first question by identifying the five types of information that will determine what you include in a piece of writing. The following chapter, Organizing Your Message, will answer the second question about how to organize that information. Deciding what you’re going to include in your document determines what you’re going to say—what your message is. For a journalist, the question of what information to include and what to leave out is traditionally answered by five classic questions: Who, What, When, Where, and Why. Answering these questions enables a reporter to identify the information readers need about

fast-breaking news, and compose a story that can be posted online with a minimum of editing, in a matter of minutes. Similarly, in business writing a message will consist of as many as five major types or categories of information. These are:

Position—What you want your readers to do or believe. Issues—The topics you must address to prove or support your Position. Data—The evidence you gather for your Issues. Conclusions—The deductions you draw from your Data. Recommendations—What’s next? What you will do and what you want your readers to do to advance your Position. The choices you make about which of these elements to put in a document will determine what information you include, and therefore, what you say. The rule of thumb for information is that you should include only enough to accomplish your purpose in writing. Sounds logical. The challenge, however, is that your purpose in writing must be explicit if you’re to make explicit choices about what information to include. So what are our purposes in writing? To inform, to explain, to clarify, to document, to propose, to recommend, to persuade, to sell, to summarize, to evaluate, to analyze, to conclude, to praise, to educate, and even, on occasion, to entertain. All these may be appropriate purposes—but none of them are sufficiently specific to tell us what information we need to include to accomplish our purpose in writing a particular document. For example, if your manager asks you to write a summary of your job responsibilities, you could write volumes detailing all your functions, without any sense of what information to include in your document to accomplish the broad purpose of merely “informing.” Suppose, however, that your manager tells you to summarize your job responsibilities so she can decide if your duties duplicate the

work being done by another employee. Then you’ll certainly know what information you need to include—all your duties that prove you’re irreplaceable! As noted at the beginning of the book, the purpose of all communication in business is to provide the basis for decisionmaking. That purpose tells us what to include—just enough information to make the decision we’re proposing clear and convincing to our readers. Our Position is the statement of the decision we’re advocating.

Position There are only two ways to influence someone. Either you can try to change their mind or you can try to change their behavior. Therefore, every communication you write will have one of two kinds of Position. 1. Position of Fact—A Position of Fact tells readers to believe something. The focus is on changing readers’ minds—the way they think about your topic. An idea is true, or false, or valid, or irrelevant, or accurate, or unsubstantiated: supplies are adequate, a proposal is sound, a person is qualified, a policy is effective, a piece of equipment is unsafe, a sales territory is too large, the calculations are accurate, and so forth. 2. Position of Action—In a Position of Action, the purpose is to change readers’ behavior by telling them to do something. An action should or should not be taken: a policy should be adopted, a piece of equipment should be purchased, a person should be hired, an office space should be expanded, headquarters should be relocated, and so forth. To change someone’s behavior and get them to act, you’ll usually have to begin by changing their mind. In other words, you may have to convince your readers that your evaluation of a situation is correct before you can recommend what should be done about it.

Many people in business seem to think that their writing doesn’t need a Position if it “merely conveys information.” I would argue, however, that such “merely informational” writing is a colossal waste of time, especially for the writer. Why? Because, in the daily deluge of e-mail, no one reads “merely informational” correspondence, unless it’s written to satisfy an explicit request. What priority do you give an e-mail whose Subject line says “FYI”? Who has the time to figure out what the information is and why it’s important or useful, unless you tell them why? As discussed in Chapter 16, even informational writing needs a Position that tells readers what you want them to do or know about your topic. To write a piece of correspondence without a Position is to take the reader on a trip without a destination. Everything you write should have a Position. And your Position will be the most important element in every communication, since it will determine what information you’ll include—just enough to make the Position clear and convincing to your readers. Use a Position of Action whenever possible—I recommend…, I propose…, I suggest…, Accounting should… Because this Position calls for action, it gets something accomplished. Use a Position of Fact when you want to present your assessment of a situation, or when it’s not appropriate to tell your reader what to do. If, for example, an e-mail to your manager says, “I have concluded that the lab equipment on hand is not sufficient to analyze the volume of samples we will be receiving in the next three months,” you’re merely explaining the situation to your manager, but not recommending what should be done about it. In a Position of Fact, you present your findings or make an evaluation of a situation, and leave it up to your reader to take the appropriate action, such as purchasing additional equipment for the lab. People often confuse the Position and the subject of a message. The subject is the general topic you’re writing about. The Position is an explicit statement of your point of view about your subject that you plan to prove to your readers.

The following statement defines the subject of a piece of writing: “This memo presents our evaluation of Bergin Enterprises as a potential acquisition.” The Position of this same memo might be, “I recommend we acquire Bergin Enterprises.” You can see the difference between the Position and the subject in the wording of the two statements: the Position tells the reader to do or believe; the subject does not. Before you begin to write, compose your Position in your mind in approximately ten words that any person can understand. You need to formulate your Position in only ten words so that you express what you want your readers to do or believe in the simplest and most direct way. If you don’t have the clarity to formulate your Position in a few words in your own mind, then you certainly can’t expect your Position to be clear to your readers either. That ten-word statement of your Position is ten words in your head. Certainly, when you put the Position down on screen or on paper, you may take more than ten words to state and explain your Position. People often argue, however, that there’s no way they can state a complex Position in a single sentence. But, no matter how complex, the essence of any Position can be reduced to a very simple proposition—something should or should not be done, something should or should not be believed. And the essence of your Position should always be clear, even though your readers may not understand all its implications. In A Brief History of Time, Stephen Hawking noted that the most complex of questions can be answered in terms anyone can understand. “Where did the universe come from? How and why did it begin? Will it come to an end, and if so, how? These are questions that are of interest to us all. But modern science has become so technical that only a very small number of specialists are able to master the mathematics used to describe them. Yet the basic ideas about the origin and fate of the universe can be stated without

mathematics in a form that people without a scientific education can understand [emphasis added].” On a less cosmic scale, the implications of the statement “The Exploration Department should research the feasibility of using gamma logging in the Natuna boreholes to obtain a record of soil stratigraphy” wouldn’t make much sense to a nontechnical person. But the proposed decision is still clear: “The Exploration Department should undertake a research program.” When writing a communication, compose the Position in about ten words in your head so it says precisely what you want the reader to do or believe. Then state your Position as the first, or “topic,” sentence of the second paragraph, where it stands out. The first paragraph tells why you’re writing, as you’ll learn in Chapter 5, Concluding at the Beginning: The Opening Statement. To illustrate the remaining four major elements in a message, let’s plan a memo on daycare, a subject of concern to many. Simply stated, the Position is, “I recommend Shearing Corporation establish on-site, subsidized daycare for employees’ children.” That’s 11 words, but we can consider “Shearing Corporation” as one. And anyway, who’s counting? Our Position requires information on the size of the facility, hours it will be open, what we mean by “subsidized,” and other details. We’ll cover these details under Essential Background and Definition of Terms, parts of the Opening Statement discussed in Chapter 5, Concluding at the Beginning. For now we’re concerned with the major elements of Position, Issues, Data, Conclusions, and Recommendations. Before we formulate the elements of our message, however, let’s identify who we’re writing to, in keeping with the suggestions in the last chapter. Who are our key readers and our secondary readers? Let’s assume the decision about establishing company-sponsored daycare will be made by Shearing’s CEO and board of directors— they’re our key readers. Their general concerns are the high

turnover of entry-level employees and the difficulty Shearing has had recruiting replacements. Our secondary reader is the VP of Human Resources, who won’t be part of the decision-making process but needs to be kept informed.

Issues Now that we’ve formulated our Position—”I recommend Shearing Corporation establish daycare”—the next step is to identify our Issues. The Issues are the topics we must address to prove or support our Position. To continue our example, we could argue that our Position calling for daycare is valid, based on five factors: (1) turnover of personnel, (2) recruitment of new employees, (3) absenteeism at Shearing Corporation, (4) morale of employees, and (5) company image. These are the supporting Issues. There may also be Issues that argue against our Position, such as the costs and the administration of a daycare facility. If our memo is going to present a balanced account, we have to acknowledge these negative Issues. If we fail to mention possible drawbacks to our Position, our proposal will lack credibility. Nonetheless, the favorable Issues must outweigh the unfavorable ones if the readers are to accept our Position. We can diagram the relationship of the Position and Issues in the following manner, sometimes referred to as the pyramid or inverted pyramid structure: Position:         We recommend Shearing Corporation establish daycare based on: Issues:            turnover     recruitment     absenteeism     morale       image Take care to be complete in putting together your Issues. An effective way to make sure you’ve not overlooked a persuasive point

is to brainstorm. On a sheet of paper or on screen, list every Issue that seems at all relevant to your Position, no matter how obscure or insignificant. Consider all the possible Issues—advantages as well as disadvantages. Once you’ve come up with a comprehensive list of pros and cons, you have to address the fundamental question: “What Issues do I include and what can I leave out?” Apply the following three steps in selecting your Issues. 1. Eliminate Issues that are not important to your readers. This step requires that you be familiar with your key readers’ views. 2. Consolidate related Issues. Your document shouldn’t have more than five Issues in support of the Position. If you cannot persuade your readers with five reasons, it’s unlikely that eight or ten will be any more convincing. When brainstorming Issues related to daycare, for example, you might identify staffing costs, insurance costs, and utilities costs as separate Issues. But it’s better to consolidate them into a single Issue—Operating Costs—for more clarity and less repetition. Be careful, however, not to combine so many points under one Issue that you compromise the persuasiveness of your argument. Profitability and productivity are related concepts, but in most documents each should be listed as a separate Issue. Your objective in consolidating Issues is summarized by the MECE principal, used at McKinsey & Company to analyze problems in their management consulting practice. MECE is an acronym for “Mutually Exclusive, Collectively Exhaustive.” Issues that are “Mutually Exclusive” don’t overlap: each Issue addresses a discrete topic related to your Position. Your Issues are “Collectively Exhaustive” if, taken all together, they address every topic that needs to be considered to prove your Position. 3. Evaluate the persuasiveness of your Issues by asking yourself the following questions:

Do my Issues show that a change is necessary, that my evaluation is correct? Does my Position improve the current situation? Do the advantages of my Position outweigh the disadvantages? Are there any factors that could affect the validity of my Position? Are there reasonable alternatives to my Position and should I present them?

Affinity Diagrams for Consolidating Issues A simple technique for consolidating Issues is called affinity diagramming. Affinity diagrams can be created by yourself or in a group with colleagues. The approach requires a list of ideas, a pack of the largest Post-It notes you can find, and a flat surface, if you’re working alone, or a wall when working in a group. An affinity diagram begins with the list of Issues you’ve identified in the brainstorming exercise described above. Most brainstorming for Issues will produce between 10 and 20 items, occasionally more, depending on the complexity of your topic and your Position. Write each Issue on a Post-It note in one to seven words, one Issue per note. When working in a group, write large enough that each Post-It can be read from a distance. Place the Post-It notes on a wall if you’re working in a group, or a tabletop that is free of objects, if you’re by yourself. Laid out in this fashion, you can see your Issues in a new light. Survey the Post-It notes. When you see Issues that are similar, put them next to each other in clusters, apart from the rest of your Issues. First look for pairs of similar Issues that form a natural grouping, adding to the pairs as you find other Issues that also seem to belong. Gradually, you’ll identify different groupings of ideas. Working in this way will enable you to map the relationships between the Issues visually, rather than trying to maintain the full complexity of the topic in your head.

Affinity diagrams use Post-It notes because they can be moved around on a surface and organized in different configurations. As clusters of Issues begin to form, they will stimulate a natural conversation, in your own mind or with others, about what Issues belong together and why. Change the positions of the Post-Its as you come to new conclusions about the relationships between the Issues. As the groupings of Issues become clear, consider what each cluster is about. Identify the idea or pattern that underlies the cluster and give it a name that summarizes the nature of that grouping in a few words, such as Construction Costs, Productivity, Safety, Employee Morale, and so forth. The goal of the affinity diagramming exercise is to consolidate your Issues into three to five clusters that represent the principal topics you’ll discuss to support your Position and make your point of view convincing. The name of each cluster designates a principal Issue related to your Position. The individual items within each cluster represent details or subtleties that you’ll include in your discussion of each Issue, if necessary. A particular benefit of affinity diagrams is that they capture all the details you may need to discuss about a topic, while also identifying a conceptual scheme that brings order to the detail. Although the basic concept is simple, if you’d like more instruction about affinity diagrams and how to use them, see the chapter on “Bottom-Up Trees” in Rapid Problem Solving with Post-It Notes, by David Straker, the discussion of affinity diagrams in Making Things Happen, by Scott Berkun, “Innovating with Sticky Notes” in slide:ology, by Nancy Duarte, and “The Process” in Presentation Zen, by Garr Reynolds.

Data Persuasiveness is gained from facts, not generalities. To convince your readers that the Position is valid, you must present concrete evidence in the form of Data to back up each of your Issues.

For example, in supporting the Issue of turnover in your daycare proposal, you might present Data from surveys showing that other companies with daycare facilities reduced annual employee turnover by 30 percent. What Data you decide to include and what to leave out will, of course, depend on your key readers. We can now diagram the relationship of the Position, Issues, and Data: Position:         We recommend Shearing Corporation establish daycare based on: Issues:            turnover     recruitment     absenteeism     morale      image based on:   Data

Data                Data               Data               Data       (Survey showing 30% reduction in annual turnover)

Although there are no universal rules for how much Data to introduce under each Issue, keep these four guidelines in mind: 1. Introduce only enough Data to prove or support each Issue. It’s tempting to break this rule. When we’ve worked hard on a project, we naturally want to receive credit for everything we’ve done. So we want to give a detailed account of all the Data we’ve compiled. Also, we want to impress our readers with our expertise by presenting all we know about a topic. A mass of facts and figures, however, can overwhelm readers. They may become weary wading through all our information and lose sight of the Issues and the Position we’re trying to prove.

2. Make your Data as concrete and specific as possible. Numbers and percentages are more authoritative than abstract phrases, such as significant increase, considerable number, or substantial gain. 3. Provide quotes or opinions from respected sources. They may be more convincing than three pages of statistics. 4. Present your Data in tables and graphs, whenever possible. Tables and graphs are often the most convincing way to present Data, and the easiest to understand. When using tables and graphs, however, be sure to make them as easy as possible to understand. State the point you want your readers to get before you present the table or graph. And only include enough Data in the graphic to prove your point. Presenting a table or graph followed by an account of what it shows is, of course, a Mystery Story. And including more data points than are necessary to achieve your purpose can be visually confusing. In deciding what Data to include, you can use the same guidelines we discussed above for selecting your Issues. That is, your Data should: Be important to your key readers. Not overlap. Be convincing. Edward Tufte, an expert on presenting information in charts and graphs, contends in his book, Beautiful Evidence, that for Data to be convincing, it must (1) show comparisons, contrasts, and differences, (2) establish causality, and (3) use multivariate analysis. These three principles form the basis of what Tufte calls “evidencebased reasoning.” They’re basic operations we all employ for critical thinking and problem solving. Comparing one situation with another enables us to see similarities and differences and identify what may or may not work in a given circumstance. Similarly, showing cause and effect relationships is a

basic way we explain something that has happened and devise solutions to problems. And finally, explanations and solutions to problems are most convincing when they’re multivariate. In other words, reasoning from Data should take into account the complex nature of reality and explain the world in terms of more than one or two variables. Use these guidelines to determine whether you’re using your Data most effectively to support your Conclusions, and thereby, your Position.

Conclusions Conclusions are the deductions you draw from the Data for your Issues. Your Conclusions must prove your Position by summarizing the implications of the Data. Each of the elements of your message is a link in a logical chain of ideas. Your Position is supported by the Issues, which are, in turn, backed up by your Data. Your Conclusions represent another link in this chain. For each Issue there may be one or more Conclusions. Like Issues and Data, there may be unfavorable Conclusions in addition to those that support the Position. However, for your Position to be valid, the Conclusions that favor the Position must outweigh the unfavorable ones. There’s an important distinction between Issues and Conclusions. The Issues are factors related to your Position. They’re the topics you must address to establish that your Position is true or that the action you recommend should be taken. The Conclusions, on the other hand, are the deductions drawn from the Data for these Issues. Conclusions summarize the meaning or significance of your Data. Among our Issues demonstrating that a daycare facility should be established, for example, was “turnover of personnel.”

The Data for this Issue includes survey results showing a 30 percent reduction in annual turnover at companies that have daycare centers. The Conclusion drawn from this Data could be that establishing daycare at Shearing Corporation should reduce the turnover of entry-level employees by as much as 25 percent in the coming year.

Recommendations The Recommendations spell out what’s next. Your readers need to know what they’re expected to do to put your Position into effect. Furthermore, they need to know what you plan to do in support of your Position. Therefore, there are two types of Recommendations. 1. Action Program—The Action Program describes the steps you want your readers to take to implement your Position. To spell out how your Position will be put into effect, the Action Program should answer four questions: What is to be done? Who will do it? When will it to be done? How will it to be done? Stated another way, your Action Program should identify Who will do What, by When, and How. For example, if your Position proposes daycare at Shearing Corporation, your Action Program might read, “We propose the facility be operating by April 1 and that Human Resources hire a daycare director by January 1 to oversee setting up the daycare operation.” In other cases, the Action Program may be as simple as “Call me if you have questions” or “Please sign in the space provided below to indicate your approval and return a copy to me by August 15.”

2. Future Work—Future Work states what you, the writer, will do to further your Position. For example, “If you approve companysponsored daycare, I will visit three local companies that have inhouse daycare centers and report on their experience in a memo to you by September 1.” Or “I will schedule a meeting Tuesday at 4 p.m. in the main conference room to discuss...” *          *          *          * Typically, when composing a communication, we look to our Data, or everything we know about a topic, in the hope that it will tell us what we need to include in our message. The five categories of information—Position, Issues, Data, Conclusions, and Recommendations—suggest another approach. The five categories of information help us determine what to include in a document by helping us define an argument. They serve as a checklist to ensure that we include all the information we need to make a convincing case that something should be done, or that something should be believed. In other words, Data alone, information alone, can’t tell us what to include in a communication. Only our Position can. Once we know what we want our readers to do or believe, then we can decide what additional information will be necessary to prove or support that point of view. The point of view we’re advocating tells us what information to include. Another way to conceive of the Position, Conclusions, and Recommendations is to think of them as the What, the Why, and the How of a message. The Position tells our readers what we want them to do or believe. The Conclusions tell them why they should do or believe what we’re advocating.

And the Recommendations tell our readers how we propose to accomplish our purpose. Ultimately, what we include is flexible, with one exception: Everything we write will have a Position. In some cases, our Position will be our entire document. This is often the case with e-mail. For example, we might receive the following e-mail from our boss: “Regarding your question last week about whether you’re eligible for two weeks paid vacation, the answer is no.” If the e-mail provided reasons for that simple no, then the writer would be getting into Issues or Conclusions. And if the Conclusions needed support, then there would be Data. Now that we have a way to determine what we should include in our writing and what we should leave out, we’ll outline a method for determining the best order in which to present that information.

When you say something, make sure you have said it. The chances of your having said it are only fair. E. B. WHITE

4. Organizing Your Message: Opening Statement, Body, Summing Up In the last chapter, we provided a response to the first of the two questions we must answer to write effectively: What information do I include and what do I leave out? Our response was based on the principle that we need to include information necessary to formulate the elements of an effective argument, namely the Position, Issues, Data, Conclusions, and Recommendations. In this chapter, we’ll address the second question—What is the best order in which to present my information? In other words, what is the best order in which to present the elements of the argument identified by my Position, Issues, Data, Conclusions, and Recommendations? In one sense, the elements of a message discussed in the last chapter already have a logical order. Position, Issues, Data, Conclusions, and Recommendations, in that order, tell readers what you want them to do or believe, the topics you’ll discuss to convince them, the evidence you have that supports your Position, the deductions you’ve drawn from your Data, and the next steps necessary to carry out your Position. But that sequence is also a Mystery Story—Conclusions and Recommendations would appear at the end, after discussion of the Data. In addition, because the structure by itself doesn’t provide enough information to support every Position, it isn’t flexible enough to serve as a template for every argument. Therefore, we need a more elaborate structure to guide the organization of ideas and information.

The Two Principles for Organizing a Message To construct a more complete and flexible structure for organizing an argument, we’ll draw on two principles that are cornerstones of organization in journalism, namely: 1. Present your information in descending order of importance. 2. Tell your readers what you’re going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them. Let’s look at these principles, one at a time. 1. Present your information in descending order of importance. In other words, put the most important information at the beginning of a document. Two guidelines will help us to determine what information is most important. First, generalities are more important than specifics, especially when generalities give readers a framework with which to understand the details. Therefore, your Position should be presented before Conclusions and Recommendations, all of which are more important than Data. The second guideline for determining the importance of information is that your readers are the ultimate arbiters of what information is important. The purpose of all business communication is to influence or persuade an audience. Therefore, what is important to your readers had better be important to you if you want your document to be persuasive. Presenting information in descending order of importance is also critical to getting and maintaining readers’ attention. This is a given in news reporting, in both physical and electronic media—crucial information cannot be left to the end of a story. Readers want to know what is happening by looking at a headline and reading a paragraph or two.

In the business world, as well, our readers have diminishing attention spans. Their eyes will often glaze over before they come to critical information at the end of a document. Research shows that we risk losing as much as 70% of readers if they have to scroll to read an e-mail or webpage. For that reason, we follow the same rules that reporters do. We present the most important information first. This principle also eliminates chronological order of events as an effective way to organize information, which, you’ll remember, is one of the principal causes of Mystery Stories. We all learned the second principle for organizing information in school. Every book on writing you pick up says it. It’s one of those clichés that everyone knows, but no one follows. 2. Tell your readers what you’re going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them. This is a classic sequence, known as Tell-3, for presenting what you have to say in any type of informative or expository writing. Giving readers the gist of a story or point of view at the beginning of a document gives them a map with which to navigate the details that follow. Similarly, business correspondence is clearer and more coherent when we summarize the general points first and then recount the details. And summarizing your information at the beginning of a communication makes it more likely that your audience will take an interest in and read at least some of the details. If you apply these two principles to organizing a message, you’ll have no problem with structure. Let’s see how that works.

The Three Parts of a Message Developing an effective argument requires that its structure be coherent—the parts have to stick together. We make information understandable when we show how one idea is linked to another,

when we provide our readers with a logical progression of thought— which is the purpose of good organization. The basic order of information that provides coherence in a document is straightforward. In the Opening Statement, the first section of a message, we provide a complete summary of what we’re going to say. In the Body we present the details. Finally, in the Summing Up we review what we’ve covered. This Opening Statement—Body—Summing Up structure complies with the two rules introduced above as the basis for good organization. It presents information in descending order of importance—from opening summary, through details, to review. And it tells your readers in the Opening Statement what you’re going to say, it tells the details in the Body, and it reviews what has been said in the Summing Up. Now that we have an overall structure for creating a piece of advocacy, let’s put the five elements of our message—the Position, Issues, Data, Conclusions, and Recommendations—into these three sections. The Opening Statement states our Position and summarizes the Issues, Conclusions, and Recommendations. The Body presents the Data that supports each Issue, Conclusion, and Recommendation. The Summing Up restates our Position and recaps our Conclusions and Recommendations. As an illustration of this structure, here’s a short memorandum. Subject: Accounting Software Upgrade—Recommended (Opening Statement) Based on my evaluation of the efficiency of our present accounting system, I recommend we upgrade our software to meet the

attached specifications [Position]. These changes will (1) save time and (2) reduce errors [Conclusions]. As soon as I receive your approval [Action Program], I will prepare a schedule for making these changes [Future Work]. (Body) Regarding time savings, the proposed upgrade will reduce the hours necessary to perform monthly reconciliations by 50 percent. We will also be able to produce the special reports requested by the Finance Department in an average of two days, as opposed to the four days usually required now [Data for Conclusion 1]. Regarding fewer errors, the accounting mistakes in our monthly reconciliations will be reduced because the proposed revisions will eliminate much of the manual entry of data we now perform. The upgrade will also provide further cross-checking to ensure the accuracy of our results [Data for Conclusion 2]. (Summing Up) Because of the reduced time requirements and the diminished number of errors [Recap of Conclusions], we should immediately implement these changes [Position]. Let’s look at the sequence in the memo above from the reader’s point of view. The reader can evaluate each element or argument of this memo in a logical order as she reads it. The Position proposing the software upgrade is presented in the Opening Statement. The reader considers the Position briefly, noting that she can agree with it if there are convincing reasons. The next information is a summary of the Conclusions. The reader reviews them and decides that, from her perspective, the validity of the Position depends on the first point: saving time. She is familiar with the other argument, or Conclusion, about reducing errors. Because she can accept this Conclusion at face value, she doesn’t need to review any Data for this point.

In the final sentence of the Opening Statement the reader also reviews the Recommendation outlining Future Work, which states that the writer will schedule the changes if the Position is approved. Then, in the Body, the reader goes directly to the Data for the time savings. She reviews the Data and finds the numbers and evidence convincing. As a last step, she reads the Summing Up, which restates the Position for emphasis and recaps the Conclusions proven by the Data. Although a Summing Up is not actually necessary in a document as short as this one, it’s included here to illustrate how the three sections of a document are used to organize information. The memo unfolds in a logical sequence designed to persuade the reader to accept the Position. The memo is tailored for decisionmaking. Its structure is designed to get results. This structure also enables the reader to review the message selectively, concentrating on the information she needs to be convinced. In the example above, the reader focused on the crucial Conclusion and examined the relevant Data. The remaining Conclusion she accepted and, therefore, didn’t have to consider the Data presented for it in the Body.

Repeat, Without Being Repetitive A word of caution, however, about our second principle—tell your readers what you’re going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them: it’s not a formula for mechanical repetition. Tell3 is not an admonition to literally tell your readers what you have to say three times, as is often the result when first applied by young people learning to write essays. Rather, the idea is to use the three-part structure to enable readers to understand a complex argument by presenting your ideas and information with varying degrees of granularity. Begin, in the Opening Statement, by presenting a summary of your ideas and information. Then, if necessary, expand your exposition in the Body

by adding detail to each element of your argument. Finally, in the Summing Up, review the idea you presented in the Opening Statement, in light of the complexity and detail introduced in the Body. The secret to using the Tell-3 principle effectively is to develop the exposition progressively. The same basic ideas and information are presented three times, but each time with a different focus: opening summary, detailed discussion, and final review. In this way, you repeat, without being repetitive. When used effectively, the Tell-3 structure should guide your readers through your argument naturally, without their noticing your strategy. As we’ll discuss in Chapter 9 on organizing a Summing Up, written documents don’t always require a formal closing, even in documents that have a Body. Tell-2, or summarizing your argument and then discussing it in detail, is often sufficient to guide your readers through your consideration, especially in e-mail. A one-page memo or e-mail with attachments, for example, is a common and effective form of communication that dispenses with the Summing Up. Note, furthermore, that whereas the Tell-3 principle applies to the whole structure of a longer document, it doesn’t apply to the structure of the Opening Statement, or the Body, or the Summing Up. Each of those sections of a document has its own structure, in which information is presented in a logical sequence, without any repetition.

The Structure of Legal Argumentation Anyone familiar with the American legal system will recognize that the sequence Opening Statement—Body—Summing Up is also the structure of legal argumentation. More specifically, it’s the order in which a jury trial proceeds. A trial begins with the attorneys for the prosecution and the defense presenting their…Opening Statements. As in written communication, the purpose of an Opening Statement in a trial is to present a complete summary of the argument being put forward by the

prosecution and the defense. No evidence, or Data, is introduced in Opening Statements. Rather, the Opening Statement gives the jury, or the readers of a document, a map with which to understand and against which to evaluate the presentation of Data that follows. In the body of a trial, the prosecution and then the defense present evidence, or Data, in the form of exhibits and expert witnesses, in support of the case they’re each arguing. Once each side has presented their evidence, the attorneys for each side make their Closing Arguments. “Closing Arguments” is another way of describing the purpose of a Summing Up. It’s a restatement of your central argument in light of the pros and cons that may have been introduced by Data and discussion presented in the Body. The Summing Up is also your opportunity to call for action—to restate the validity or importance of your point of view and ask your audience to act on it. This opportunity to motivate people to act is especially important in presentations. What you say in closing is the last information your audience will hear from you, and therefore what they’re most likely to remember. When composing a message, think of it as the case you’re making for your point of view or proposal. In effect, you’re arguing for the truth of your Position, and your readers are your jury. In this respect, the sections of a document are not separate pieces, but three parts of a whole. *          *          *          * In this chapter, we’ve elaborated the general structure appropriate to all persuasive writing, and therefore to all business and technical communication. The next chapter—Concluding at the Beginning: The Opening Statement—tells you the specifics: what information to put in the first sentence of your document, where to put background, and whether you need to explain the sources of your Data. At the end of the chapter, you’ll be able to organize a one-page document in five

minutes, outlining what you have to say on the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas, which is discussed in depth in Chapter 6.

Well begun is half done. ANONYMOUS

5. Concluding at the Beginning: The Opening Statement The opening statement is the most important section of a message. It tells your readers what you’re going to say. In the Opening Statement, you state your Position, present the Conclusions that support your Position, and summarize the Recommendations, or next steps, that are necessary to carry out your Position. The effectiveness of your Opening Statement often determines whether your readers will actually read what you’ve written. The purpose of an Opening Statement is to provide a complete summary of your message, ideally in a single page. In this respect, the Opening Statement defines what information should be included in an Executive Summary for longer memos and reports. All the information required in an Executive Summary is covered by the elements you’ll learn about in this chapter—Significance to the Readers, Position, Methodology, Issues and Conclusions, and Recommendations. In many situations, furthermore, the Opening Statement will be your entire communication. If you don’t have Data, or don’t need to discuss your Conclusions and Recommendations, you won’t need a Body. If you don’t have a Body, the document won’t need a Summing Up. The structure of the Opening Statement is designed to address the questions your readers have whenever they consider a piece of writing. In the early paragraphs of any document, readers want to know the answers to four questions: What has caused you to write your document at this time, and why is your subject important to your readers? What do you propose, or what is your purpose in writing?

Who are you, in terms of your expertise on the subject, and what are the sources of your Data? How are you going to discuss your proposal and convince your readers of its validity? An Opening Statement answers these questions by summarizing for your readers: The Significance to the Readers of your subject, telling What Prompts Your Document Now and the Importance of Subject to the readers; Your Position, including Essential Background and Definition of Terms; Your Methodology, telling the Sources of Data as well as any Assumptions & Limitations; and The Issues, Conclusions, and Recommendations that are relevant to your Position. This chapter explains these four elements of the Opening Statement and how to use them to hold your readers’ attention and gain their understanding.

Significance to the Readers Here’s a short e-mail you might find when you return to your desk. It has no subject line and it reads, “This is a follow-up to my message of August 8. I think we should delay making a decision until early September. Let me know your thoughts.” This may be a brilliant solution to some problem, but which one? You can’t tell because you can’t recall an August 8 e-mail. There isn’t enough information in the first sentence to orient you as the reader and make you aware of the subject or context of the e-mail. This problem occurs in all types of communications. The solution to this confusion is to provide the Significance to the Readers which consists of two parts: (1) What Prompts Your Document Now, and (2) Importance of Subject. In the first part you

tell why you’re writing. In the second part, you provide the reason your readers should take the time to go through your document by citing an aspect of your subject that concerns them.

1. What Prompts Your Document Now? “Thank you for your e-mail of January 11 about . . . “As we discussed in our telephone conversation of August 2. . . “To answer your question of March 15 in which you asked, ‘Why are. . . As the examples above illustrate, What Prompts Your Document Now establishes the context in which you’ve written your document. It explains the event, new information, insight, question, or change in circumstance that has “prompted” or caused you to make your proposal or offer your evaluation. It provides a natural lead-in to your Position by explaining why you’ve written this particular document at this particular time. Opening with What Prompts Your Document Now is an easy and informative way to launch your piece of writing. The standard openings of business memos and letters shown above are all effective beginnings. Be sure, however, to make them conversational. Avoid mechanical openings, such as, “In reference to your memo of…” or “As per our phone conversation…” Even if you’re confident your readers know why you’re writing, it’s a good idea to state What Prompts Your Document Now to make your correspondence a complete document that can stand on its own. This need is particularly true of e-mail. Although your key readers may know the purpose of your message, others who get copies of your correspondence may not. And in the future, you or someone else may pull your document from the files and need to know what triggered your correspondence. When responding to a question, it’s particularly important that you repeat what was asked in the first sentence or two of your document.

2. Importance of Subject

A memo beginning “Effective January 1 your division will relocate to Prudhoe Bay, Alaska” is not going to need much else to get the readers’ attention. But in cases in which your Position is not this stimulating, the importance of your subject can be effectively communicated by presenting the following information. A problem your Position will solve—a production bottleneck, a drain on resources or time, a safety hazard posed by some situation, or An opportunity your Position will take advantage of—a savings in money or time, a technological advance resolving some problem, the acquisition of a new market or customer. Here’s where you get your readers’ attention. What you say to impress the importance of your subject on your readers will depend on their point of view. Here are the opening sentences of a memo on a shipping delay. On Thursday, June 18, I met with representatives of Farlow Corporation to discuss their delays in shipping circuit boards to us [What Prompts Your Document Now]. The delays have been causing shortages that, if continued, would shut down our assembly line during the third shift [Importance of Subject]. As a result of this meeting I am now convinced that Farlow will be able to fulfill our circuit board requirements on the dates promised [Position]. The Importance of Subject is the one part of the Opening Statement in which you can present Data. Dollar amounts and other statistics that show the seriousness of a problem or the size of an opportunity will get your readers’ attention. An example follows. As you requested, I have reviewed the current staffing levels in clerical positions in the Finance Department [What Prompts Your Document Now]. As a result of understaffing, we have paid $23,000 in overtime to clerical personnel in the department in the past three months [Importance of Subject].

Consequently, I recommend the department hire two administrative assistants to fill the two salary code 34 positions that are vacant [Position]. Another example: Dell Computer is offering the newest model of their Latitude notebook at a 35% discount in a sale that ends January 31 [What Prompts Your Document Now]. If we take advantage of this sale, we will save an estimated $7,500 on our hardware needs for the remainder of the fiscal year [Importance of Subject]. Therefore, I recommend that in the next two weeks we place an order for the 15 notebook computers we have agreed we need to properly equip our sales force [Position]. It’s appropriate to open all your correspondence with What Prompts Your Document Now, presenting this information in a short sentence or two. As for the Importance of the Subject, you’ll probably omit it in routine memos and e-mail, and use it only in proposals or other correspondence in which you need to provide a sense of urgency up front.

Position The primary function of the Opening Statement is to present the Position. Your readers are most interested in your opinion or point of view. The sooner you state your Position, the sooner your readers know what you want them to do or believe. Therefore, having set the context of your message in the first paragraph, state your Position as the first or topic sentence of the second paragraph. Formulating a Position is usually straightforward. If you’re proposing that the copier in your department be replaced, present your proposal in a simple, direct statement: “I recommend/propose/suggest/urge/request/demand/insist that the department replace our present copier with…” or, simply, “The department should replace…”

Keep your Position short, simple, and direct. Cornelius Vanderbilt, the nineteenth century railroad and shipping tycoon, appreciated the impact of such a Position. In a note to another businessman he wrote: You have undertaken to cheat me [What Prompts Your Document Now]. I’ll not sue you as the courts are too slow and uncertain—I’ll ruin you [Position].

Pitfalls in Positioning There are two pitfalls you should avoid when formulating your Position. First, make sure your Position clearly tells your readers what you want them to do or believe, even when you think your document is “merely informational.” Even apparently “informational” writing should tell readers to do or believe something. Rather than merely conveying endless details about a conference the writer attended, trip reports should state, up front, whether the conference was worthwhile, or whether someone should attend next year’s meeting. That is precisely the information the reader needs. And it should be stated in a Position that tells the reader to do or believe something. For more discussion on this topic, see Chapter 16, There’s No Such Thing as Merely Informational Writing. Second, if your Position is controversial, don’t be afraid to state it at the beginning of your document because you think that will be more diplomatic. Most books on business writing recommend that when a Position is controversial, you should write an intentional Mystery Story. They argue that, for reasons of strategy or diplomacy, you should lay a groundwork of rational argument and supporting points before you announce a Position that readers will otherwise choke on. A Human Resources manager, for example, began a sensitive communication this way: “The purpose of this memo is to address four matters of concern regarding your performance over the past six months: (1) your attendance, (2) your willingness to take direction,” and so on. Not until the last line of the memo did he get to his

Position—“For these reasons I have no choice but to inform you that this company must terminate your employment.” This is a classic example of the intentional Mystery Story—a memo that purposely holds the Position until the end in an effort to justify an unpleasant message before the reader gets to it. The rationale for the Mystery Story approach in instances like this is that it’s more tactful. When the Position is controversial, the reasoning goes, the writer should give all the Issues and Data first. Then readers will have no choice but to accept the distasteful Position when they get to it in the closing paragraph of the correspondence. But there are two drawbacks to the Mystery Story as an intentional strategy for presenting controversial Positions. First, as we discussed in Chapter 1, the Mystery Story doesn’t tend to work as a communications strategy. When readers don’t see the Position at the beginning of a memo, they usually turn to the closing paragraphs to find it. In doing so, they short-circuit the Mystery Story approach by skipping all the Data, or reading the Data randomly to see whether it supports the Position. Therefore, the Mystery Story fails to accomplish its purpose, which was to lead readers step-by-step through an argument to a logical conclusion. Second, even if readers wade through all the Conclusions and Data to get to the Position, bad news is still bad news. And the reader may not recall all the arguments that led to the Position. Therefore, even when your Position is controversial, the Mystery Story approach doesn’t present information in the most persuasive sequence.

Alternatives to the Intentional Mystery Story When presenting a controversial Position, there are three strategies you can use to make your reader more disposed to consider your point of view. The first is to soften the way you state your Position. The second is to tell your readers what you want them to believe, rather than what you want them to do. And the third is to

acknowledge your readers’ concerns before presenting the arguments in favor of your Position. When softening the phrasing of a controversial Position, present the Position as the topic sentence of the second paragraph, as usual. But, instead of stating the Position boldly in the form “I recommend…,” temper the wording. Say, for example, “I suggest you consider…”, or “We would like to explore the possibility that…” The structure remains the same, but the manner in which you express the Position changes. In the memo terminating an employee, the HR manager wouldn’t present his Position as “You’re fired!” A more diplomatic approach is not only appropriate, but clearer and more professional, as for example, “I regret to inform you that the company must terminate your employment based on four violations of company policy.” Another way to be more diplomatic when stating your Position is to present a Position of Fact—telling your readers what you want them to believe—rather than a Position of Action that tells them what to do. Telling readers what you think should be done may give the appearance of assuming authority you don’t have. Therefore, rather than recommending a course of action, give your readers an evaluation of the situation that they can then use to make their own decision. In this way, you make the case for an outcome you believe in, while leaving the actual decision up to the person who has the authority to make it. Imagine, for example, that you’ve done a study of rates for Internet access offered by various carriers and concluded that your firm should switch to AT&T to obtain the best rates and contract options. Rather than directly recommending that your firm negotiate a new contract with AT&T, a decision that only your manager can make, simply present the Conclusion of your study that AT&T is the best Internet service provider for your firm. If your Data clearly supports your Position, you can be relatively sure that your firm will in fact contract with AT&T, without appearing to overstep the bounds of your decisionmaking authority. Another strategy for presenting a controversial Position is to acknowledge the possible drawbacks of your Position before you

argue its advantages. When your readers oppose your Position, it’s often because they’re concerned about one or more of your Conclusions. For example, one of the disadvantages of your proposal from readers’ point of view may be the operating costs of the program you’re recommending. Your readers believe these costs are sufficient to kill your proposal. To respond to your readers’ concerns, state your Position and acknowledge the costs of implementing it. Then show how these costs will be offset by other factors in your proposal. Following is an example of this approach for the proposal on creating a childcare facility that was discussed in the last chapter. I recommend Shearing Corporation establish an on-site, subsidized daycare facility for the children of full-time employees [Position]. I realize you are concerned about operating costs, and as you will see in this proposal, projections do call for an annual operating budget of $100,000 [Negative Conclusion]. However, this entire expense will be offset by the economic advantages of increased productivity and the savings from reduced employee turnover, which are detailed in the attachment [Positive Conclusions]. In this approach, you reason with your readers, demonstrating in a few sentences that the drawbacks can be minimized or that they’re outweighed by the benefits that follow. Once you’ve diminished the impact of the negative points, you move on to the favorable Conclusions that support your Position. Your readers are more likely to be receptive to your arguments if they feel that you’re sensitive to their concerns. And if your countervailing arguments are strong enough, they may recognize that what they had perceived as drawbacks may not be as serious as they had thought. However you choose to present a controversial Position or address a sensitive situation, the Mystery Story approach in business writing is simply bad strategy. Put your Position at the beginning of the second paragraph of your Opening Statement. Don’t let potential objections cause you to waffle.

Make your Position clear, succinct, and unequivocal. And wouldn’t it have been a lot simpler and clearer if we had stated this Position at the beginning of this entire discussion?

Addressing the Emotional Dimension of Controversial Positions The three strategies discussed above for presenting controversial Positions are all about how you organize the logic of your communication. But there’s often an emotional or political component to controversial Positions. And even when you know what you want or need to say, not knowing how to address the emotional charge on a topic can often lead to muddled writing. Therefore, when advocating a controversial Position, or writing in politically or emotionally charged circumstances, divide the process into two steps. First, decide what you want to say and plan your document as if the controversy, politics, or emotional charge did not exist. Then, in a second step, address the human dimension of the communications process. Systematically evaluate your readers’ point of view and decide how your presentation should address the sensitive circumstances under which you’re writing. In this manner, the controversy, politics, or emotion is less likely to interfere with your ability to clearly state your understanding of the situation and what needs to happen. To address the human demands of controversial Positions, I suggest you adopt what I call an “emotional sandwich.” Make human contact with your readers at the beginning of your message, in the middle state the logic of your solution to the situation, and close with a personal address to your reader. The rationale of this approach is that, when things have gone sideways, people generally appreciate clarity about a way forward. What people don’t like is feeling that someone is trying to sidestep controversy or control the situation. They want to know that they can trust you. If you only present the logic of your solution, readers may

feel you’re ignoring the tough part of the conversation, or trying to manipulate the situation. What is often needed before proposing a solution, therefore, is that you establish a connection with your readers, acknowledge the sensitive nature of the topic or the issues involved, and genuinely express your desire to resolve whatever difficulties may exist. Begin your message by making a human connection with your readers. Express your understanding of the situation, and your commitment to working through whatever needs to be worked through. Make clear that you’re acting in good faith and not just trying to get your own way—to whatever degree that it’s actually the case, of course. Consider what you need to say to induce your readers to listen to your suggestions for next steps. Imagine what you’d say if you could have a balanced conversation with your reader, and write that. Write from your “better self” to their “better self.” Once you’ve said enough to establish the right tone for your communication, present your proposal, with all its logic: “One possible solution may be for us to consider doing this, for these reasons, and these would be the next steps…” Finally, close by reaffirming the human connection with your readers. Express your hope that you and they can find a way to resolve whatever differences you have and continue working together. Affirm whatever interests you both have in maintaining your relationship as partners in the business that brings you together. If you succeed in setting the right tone, an actual conversation, by phone or face-toface, is often a good next step. Ask when they’d be available to discuss the matter, and whatever else you feel is an appropriate, personable closing to your message. If you have to work that hard to write your communication, however, it’s probably a good indication that writing isn’t the best way to handle the situation. It’s time, instead, to walk down the hall, pick up the phone, or schedule a meeting, and work it out with your correspondent, mano a mano.

When addressing controversial issues, whether in writing or in person, you’ll often have to draw on all the “tools of persuasion” discussed in Chapter 2, Writing for Your Readers. The appeal to logic, or Logos, you’ll remember, is only one of the ways to influence an audience. The other two are Ethos—winning their trust—and Pathos—appealing to their core values and beliefs. Your communication is more likely to succeed if you make use of all the means at your disposal to connect with your readers.

Essential Background and Definition of Terms A vice president of finance at an oil company gets an e-mail from an exploration crew in the Far East with the following Position: “We recommend that gamma logging be performed in the Natuna boreholes.” That sounds fine to the VP—except that the VP hasn’t the faintest idea what gamma logging is, where the Natuna boreholes are, and how long the company has been conducting explorations there. The way to avoid situations like this is to include Essential Background in your communication when your readers are not familiar with your subject and are unable, therefore, to understand your Position. And provide Definition of Terms when your readers are not acquainted with technical or special terms in your Position. In our example, the VP of finance will need (1) Essential Background, giving the location of the Natuna boreholes and a little history of oil exploration there and (2) Definition of Terms, telling what “gamma logging” is and its benefits.

1. Essential Background The key word here is “essential.” In this part of the Opening Statement, you present only the background your key readers must have to understand your Position. If you’re proposing a change in a policy, Essential Background can explain what the present policy is, and how long it has been in effect. If your communication recommends leasing a warehouse, under Essential Background you might provide the specifications for the warehouse, including its location and its dimensions.

Essential Background can also be used to put your Position in perspective by giving a little history. If you’re proposing a policy granting employees a two-month sabbatical after seven years of service with the company, for example, Essential Background might note that sabbaticals originated in universities in the United States and were first offered in industry by computer companies in Silicon Valley during the mid-1980s. Essential Background often expands on information that is briefly presented at the beginning of a document, in the Significance to the Reader section. What “prompts” your communication frequently requires more explanation to help the reader understand why you’re writing about your topic at this point in time. Two risks in including Essential Background in your Opening Statement are that (1) you may squander persuasive arguments as Essential Background and (2) you may dump extraneous information in this part of the Opening Statement. To avoid these pitfalls, observe the following guidelines. First, limit Essential Background to just enough information to explain or contextualize your Position. Any information that argues for or serves to prove the validity of your Position should be included under the Issues or Conclusions. In the example above about leasing a warehouse, size and location of the building may be included as Essential Background, but discussion of leasing costs would be covered under Issues and Conclusions. Second, by no means should Essential Background become a lengthy account of the history of your subject or a dumping ground for detail that doesn’t fit elsewhere. Your intent in an Opening Statement is only to provide essential background—the information your readers must have to understand your Position. If detailed background is needed, it can be included in the Body of a longer memo or report.

2. Definition of Terms Today everyone is a specialist and every area of specialization has its own terminology. Each department in a company has its own jargon

and acronyms. Consequently, we must often define technical terms used in the Position. Following are Definition of Terms and Essential Background for our VP who doesn’t know what gamma logging is and where the Natuna boreholes are. The Natuna boreholes are located 400 miles off the coast of Malaysia. We have been conducting explorations there for the past 18 months [Essential Background]. Gamma logging is one of the primary methods used for determining the porosity of rock formations around a well hole, which enables geologists to predict where oil reservoirs may exist and how difficult drilling to the reservoir will be. [Definition of Terms]. In addition to technical terms, consider whether you need to clarify everyday words that you’re using with a particular significance in mind. In the memo recommending the creation of a subsidized daycare facility for full-time employees, what, for example, does “subsidized” mean? How much are you proposing that the company contribute to the facility? Will employees be asked to contribute to daycare services? If so, how much?

When to Include Essential Background and Definition of Terms It’s easy to decide if you need Essential Background and Definition of Terms when you know your readers and how familiar they are with your subject. But what do you do when your key readers don’t know what you’re talking about and your secondary readers do, or vice versa? Or when you have a number of key readers, each with a different knowledge of your subject? Or you know nothing about your readers’ familiarity with your subject—they’re people in the field or a customer’s employees you’ve never met? The basic guideline is to focus primarily on your key readers’—or decision makers’—needs when deciding whether to include Essential

Background and Definition of Terms in the Opening Statement, as follows: a. When your key readers are not familiar with the circumstances surrounding your subject or special terms in your Position, but your secondary readers are, include Essential Background and Definition of Terms in the Opening Statement. You’re writing the memo proposing gamma logging in the Natuna bore-holes. Your secondary readers—the geologists and geophysicists —are familiar with the subject. However, the key readers—the vice president and financial analysts—need Essential Background to understand the Position. In this case, you should include Essential Background for your key readers in the Opening Statement of your document. This will give the decision-makers the information required to act on your recommendation. b. When your key readers are familiar with these matters, but your secondary readers are not, include the necessary information in an attachment. Suppose you’re preparing the memo for the VP and financial analysts and you’re asking them to determine the discounted cash flow rate of return for the gamma logging investment. Your key readers are familiar with the financial terminology. But your secondary readers, the geologists and geophysicists, are not. In this case, put all the terminology and explanations for the geologists and geophysicists in an attachment, and tell readers in the Opening Statement where those who need additional explanation or background can find it. c. When your key readers have differing familiarity with the subject of your document, or when you don’t know your key readers, write (a) an Opening Statement for key readers who are familiar with your subject, and (b) an attachment for key readers who are not familiar with the subject and need the Essential Background

and Definitions of Terms. Again, tell readers in the Opening Statement where they can find the background information and definitions. This approach would be appropriate if you’re requesting approval for gamma logging and some of the decision-makers are familiar with the technology but others won’t have a clue as to what the document is about. As a final note, the question of whether to include Essential Background and Definition of Terms in the Opening Statement is a matter of balance. On the one hand, you don’t want to overestimate your readers’ knowledge and provide them with specialized information you don’t explain or technical terms you don’t define. On the other hand, you don’t want to bore an audience of experts with information they already know. In either case, you’ll quickly lose your readers’ interest, and probably try their patience, as well.

Methodology The purpose of the Methodology section of an Opening Statement is to establish your credibility as the author and the validity of your Data. It contains two parts: (1) Sources of Data, and (2) Assumptions & Limitations.

1. Sources of Data Your readers’ willingness to accept your Position often depends on the confidence they place in the sources of your Data, and how thoroughly you’ve studied your subject. Sources of Data is routinely included in technical memos and reports to explain how you obtained your findings. Consider including Sources of Data in your Opening Statement under the following two conditions: a. If your key readers are not aware of your knowledge or expertise, and may, therefore, question the validity of your Data. b. If your Position is important. If it requires spending a lot of money, for example, your key readers may want to know where you got your Data and how thoroughly you’ve studied the matter.

Following is an example of Sources of Data from the daycare proposal. In evaluating the appropriateness of a daycare facility, we relied on the results of the Human Resources survey conducted last October. In addition, we drew on observations presented in the recent report prepared by the consulting firm of Mercer Associates [Sources of Data]. The actual results of the survey and the observations of the consulting firm may be used in the Body of the memo as Data to support a Conclusion.

2. Assumptions & Limitations It’s frequently necessary to spell out the assumptions you’ve made in arriving at your Conclusions and Recommendations, or the limitations of your findings. In this section of the Opening Statement, you may need to mention contingencies your Position depends on or limitations that could alter your Position. An essential step in solving any problem is defining it, which requires that assumptions be made about a situation. Assumptions must be made, for example, about how much weight a bridge must be able to bear, water flows that will influence the future of a wetland, or financial and economic projections that will determine the outcomes of an investment. If your assumptions about a situation change, the outcomes of your proposal can also be expected to change. It’s often important, therefore, to make explicit the assumptions that were used to arrive at a particular solution or result. Whether or not readers agree with your Position will often depend on whether they agree with your assumptions, and hence, your assessment of a situation. Therefore, making your assumptions explicit is often an essential part of establishing common ground with your readers, and thereby winning their support for your Position. In addition to the importance of assumptions in technical or scientific studies, Conclusions and Recommendations may also be based on assumptions about general business considerations such as: A project’s rationale, purpose, or contribution to organizational goals

Desired outcomes or accomplishments Critical success factors and how success will be measured Resources that will be needed, and their availability Project timing, or time constraints The presence or absence of alternative courses of action The consequences of not acting The assumptions you make about a problem or situation may mean, in turn, that your solution to a problem will only be applicable under certain conditions. Conclusions you draw about the future of a bridge, a wetland, or an investment may only be valid under the conditions that are defined by your assumptions. When explaining the solution to a problem, therefore, spell out the specific conditions, or Limitations, under which your solution will work. When your Opening Statement requires an account of Assumptions & Limitations, you can usually cover this information in a few sentences. In a memo advocating the creation of a company-subsidized daycare center, Assumptions & Limitations might be formulated as follows: In this proposal we have assumed that a daycare facility for 150 children will meet the needs of existing employees and new hires for the next five years [Assumption]. However, if projections to be performed by Human Resources show that the number of eligible children will decline by more than 20 percent in the next two years, other options for providing daycare will be explored [Limitation]. Readers who are familiar with your work won’t usually require an account of your Methodology. But a decision or recommendation that is based on technical considerations or complex problem solving will often require an account of how you obtained your Data, criteria you’ve used to interpret your Data, and the specific circumstances under which your findings are applicable. Therefore, even when writing e-mail, ask yourself whether the persuasiveness of your communication requires that you include an account of your Sources of Data, how thoroughly you’ve studied your topic, the Assumptions you’ve made in arriving at your findings, or the Limitations of your solution, Conclusions, or results.

Issues, Conclusions, and Recommendations Since our VP now knows what gamma logging is and where the Natuna boreholes are, she is ready to decide whether to approve the proposal. But to accept the Position, she needs some reasons, and the authors of this memo have anticipated this. Based on the discussions with outside consultants, we recommend performing gamma logging at the Natuna borehole site [Position] for four reasons: 1. Gamma logging meets our need for a record of soil stratigraphy 2. The cost is reasonable 3. The logging is easy to perform 4. The personnel and equipment to do the logging are available [Conclusions]. Listing Issues, Conclusions, or Recommendations in your Opening Statement offers three advantages: 1. It provides a consolidated account of the arguments that support your Position. At a glance, the reader can evaluate whether the pros outweigh the cons. Scattering these points throughout the text without listing them won’t be as clear or persuasive. 2. The list serves as a table of contents for the rest of the document. This enables readers to review the discussion of Issues, Conclusions, or Recommendations in the Body that are of particular interest to them. Without this table of contents, readers are compelled to read the entire Body to find out what is covered there—which readers won’t often take the time to do. 3. It establishes the order in which you, as the writer, will organize the Body. Once you’ve put together a list of Issues, Conclusions, or Recommendations in the Opening Statement, their discussion in the Body, with supporting Data, will follow the same order.

The following examples are all versions of a memo recommending that purchase orders be required for all orders over $5,000. Each one illustrates a different approach to presenting Issues, Conclusions, and Recommendations. You can list the Issues in a single sentence, as shown in the following instance. In recent months major customers have returned invoices due to errors that should have been avoided [What Prompts Your Document Now]. These are not isolated incidents, but ongoing problems that delay our getting paid [Importance of Subject]. To limit the number of returned invoices, I recommend we require purchase orders on all orders over $5,000 [Position]. This proposal is based on the following three considerations: cash flow, time spent correcting errors, and image with customers [Issues]. Better still, present your Issues in a list, like this: In recent months, major customers have returned invoices due to errors that should have been avoided [What Prompts Your Document Now]. These are not isolated incidents but ongoing problems that delay our getting paid [Importance of Subject]. To limit the number of returned invoices, I recommend we require purchase orders on all orders over $5,000 [Position]. This proposal is based on the following three considerations: ●   Cash flow ●   Time spent correcting errors ●   Image with customers [Issues]. However, your Issues don’t tell the whole story. It takes Conclusions to spell out how each Issue affects the Position and what the Data proves, as we can see below using this same example. In recent months, major customers have returned invoices due to errors that should have been avoided [What Prompts Your Document Now]. These are not isolated incidents but ongoing problems that delay our getting paid [Importance of Subject].

To limit the number of returned invoices, I recommend we require purchase orders on all orders over $5,000 [Position]. Using purchase orders will: ●   Improve cash flow through prompt payment of invoices ●   Save time currently spent correcting errors ●   Enhance our corporate image with customers [Conclusions]. To make the memo more credible, we should acknowledge any drawbacks to our Position, as in the following example. In recent months, major customers have returned invoices due to errors that should have been avoided [What Prompts Your Document Now]. These are not isolated incidents but ongoing problems that delay our getting paid [Importance of Subject]. To limit the number of returned invoices, I recommend we require purchase orders on all orders over $5,000 [Position]. Using purchase orders will: ●   Improve cash flow through prompt payment of invoices ●   Save time currently spent correcting errors ●   Enhance our corporate image with customers [Conclusions]. While there may be a slight delay in shipping as a result of this proposed policy [Negative Conclusion], the delay will be offset by the time saved by reducing errors [Positive Conclusion]. By adding the Recommendations, our Opening Statement becomes a complete summary of our proposal. A transition sentence has also been added at the end of the next-to-last paragraph, informing readers that the Conclusions are substantiated with Data in an attachment. In recent months, major customers have returned invoices due to errors that should have been avoided [What Prompts Your Document Now]. These are not isolated incidents but ongoing problems that delay our getting paid [Importance of Subject]. To limit the number of returned invoices, I recommend we require purchase orders on all orders over $5,000 [Position]. Using purchase orders will:

●   Improve cash flow through prompt payment of invoices ●   Save time currently spent correcting errors ●   Enhance our corporate image with customers [Conclusions]. While there may be a slight delay in shipping as a result of this proposed policy [Negative Conclusion], the delay will be offset by the time saved by reducing errors [Positive Conclusion]. Each of the above benefits, as well as the minor concern about delay, is addressed in the attachment. Please sign in the space below and return a copy to me if you approve of requiring purchase orders for orders over $5,000 [Action Program]. If you decide to go ahead with my proposal, I will draft a letter for your approval that notifies our major customers of this change [Future Work].

Structuring Your Opening Statement The Opening Statement consists of five elements, each of which serves a specific purpose. When you draft a document, you must take up these elements in the order that will make for a convincing presentation with a logical flow. The order of information in an Opening Statement will vary, depending on the subject of your correspondence, the circumstances in which you’re advancing your ideas, and the audience you’re addressing. Nonetheless, the following order is often appropriate. I. Significance to the Readers A. What Prompts Your Document Now? As you requested, I have evaluated… B. Importance of Subject: This condition is costing us… II. Position: Therefore, I recommend… A. Essential Background: This condition has existed for eight months and… B. Definition of Terms: The term ‘cranking potential’ defines… III. Methodology

A. Sources of Data: In this study, I relied on a report prepared by… B. Assumptions & Limitations: I assumed constant production levels and… IV. Issues and Conclusions (pro and con): This proposal will offer the following four benefits… V.  Recommendations: A. Action Program: I also recommend this change be implemented by April 1… B. Future Work: As soon as I receive your approval, I will… Keep the following points in mind when composing your Opening Statement: 1. In practically all documents, tell why you’re writing in the first paragraph and then state your Position as the first sentence of the second paragraph. 2. Your Opening Statement will generally be three to six paragraphs. Although the Opening Statement may be longer in more comprehensive memos and reports, keep it to one page whenever possible. Note, as well, that an Opening Statement can also be as short as a single sentence. 3. To get readers’ attention, you may use a principal Conclusion as the Importance of Subject in your opening paragraph, and also include it in a list of Conclusions later in the Opening Statement. For example, in a proposal you may cite a project’s “potential for improved profitability” to get readers’ attention in Importance of Subject, and also use this point as the first Conclusion in the arguments supporting your Position. Although this structure for the Opening Statement is very explicit, it’s sufficiently flexible that it can be applied to organize every type of communication you must produce. Let’s look at two examples of the Opening Statement. Here’s an Opening Statement of one sentence that simply states the Position

and the Issues. It is Ammons & Gordon’s opinion that there are no significant quantities of hazardous materials on the client’s property [Position] based on three investigations that are detailed below: 1.     A review of historical records 2.     A visual assessment of the site 3.     Subsurface explorations [Issues]. Following is a longer Opening Statement that includes additional elements and a more complete discussion of the topic. Since the reorganization of Customer Support, numerous staff have said that they don’t know enough about a number of topics to effectively support our new release of the Surveyor software [What Prompts Your Document Now]. Staff are primarily concerned about insufficient knowledge in important areas such as MVS Internals, 4GL, and database architecture [Importance of Subject]. Therefore, I recommend we hire Burton Associates to train Customer Support in the knowledge they will need to confidently support Surveyor [Position]. We will need a special allocation to fund the training [Action Program], however, since, as you know, staff training is currently limited to one week of on-the-job instruction at the beginning of employment [Essential Background]. I would appreciate your getting back to me with a decision by Friday [Action Program]. If possible, I want to schedule dates with Burton and submit our request to contracting in the next two weeks [Future Work], since I assume the training should be conducted before the end of the year [Assumption]. The training will give us the following three benefits: 1.   A staff that is more responsive to customers’ questions and better equipped to handle changes in Surveyor 2.   A quick return on investment, since Burton training is only $30 per participant hour

3.   Convenience of the training, since the sessions will be held at our offices [Conclusions]. The training will consist of two seven-hour sessions on consecutive days [Essential Background]. To evaluate Burton’s services, I attended one of their training sessions and spoke with two software companies that have used their services in the past year [Sources of Data]. A complete discussion of the benefits and strengths of Burton Associate’s training services are discussed in the attachment. Thanks for your help with this project. Not all documents are just an Opening Statement. You may need the Body to present Data and if you have a Body, you may also need a Summing Up. We’ll discuss these remaining sections of a document in Chapters 7 and 8. First, let’s consider how to prepare an Opening Statement.

It has always been much like writing a check… It is easy to write a check if you have enough money in the bank, and writing comes more easily if you have something to say. SHOLEM ASCH

6. Quick and Clear: Your Outline in 5 Minutes Muddled writing is often the product of trying to think, write, and edit at the same time. We combine these three tasks into a single step because we believe that doing so will save us time. Putting our ideas into writing is easier, however, when we decide what we want to say before we begin to write. When an argument is clear in our mind, it can almost feel that the document writes itself. Each element of the argument flows naturally onto the screen in a logical sequence. Writer’s block is often a sign that we’re trying to write before we know what we want to say. Therefore, in the Spence & Company approach to business writing, we recommend that you do your thinking first, then compose a draft of your ideas, and finally edit your draft into a final communication that is ready to send. Developing a thought process that enables us to write clearly is a complex process, so we need tools to manage it. And an outline is the essential tool for collecting and organizing our ideas. Most of us were told in school to use outlines, but few of us were ever shown exactly how. We may have put some Roman numerals, ABCs, and numbers next to sentence fragments, but we never learned how to use an outline to select and organize ideas and information. As a result, our thinking process remained unfocused and confused. The principles for organizing an Opening Statement discussed in the last chapter provide a logical format for outlining any type of document. This format helps you decide not only what elements you need to prepare a complete communication, but the order in which to present them, as well. When you use the Opening Statement

structure to outline a message, you’re putting the principles we’ve discussed to practical use. The Worksheet for Organizing Ideas—Short Form that you’ll find on the next page provides a fill-in-the-blanks approach to organizing your Opening Statements. In Chapter 10 you’ll find the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas—Long Form, which consists of the same outline for the Opening Statement, plus three additional pages to guide you in outlining a Body and a Summing Up.

Using the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas—Short Form Thousands of men and women in Spence & Company workshops on effective writing have found this Worksheet to be an invaluable tool in composing documents. We recommend seven steps for composing your outline on the Worksheet: 1. Begin by formulating your Position. Every other element of your message will be determined by your Position. 2. Next, brainstorm your Issues and Conclusions. Sort and consolidate the results, as explained in Chapter 3 in the section on Issues. Then enter your summary list in the appropriate spaces. Use the Pro and Con structure on the Worksheet if it’s relevant. Otherwise, simply list your Issues and Conclusions. 3. Then, identify your Recommendations, or Next Steps. What do you want your readers to do and what will you do to advance your Position? Steps 1, 2, and 3 define your core message. 4. Now decide how you will get your readers’ attention. Compose a Subject that summarizes your Position in 4 to 7 words. Then, decide how you’ll begin your document, filling in What Prompts Your Document Now? and, if necessary, Importance of Subject. 5. Determine whether your readers will need Essential Background or Definition of Terms to understand your Position. 6. If necessary, include information to establish your credibility as the writer and the validity of your Data. Sources of Data and Assumptions & Limitations address these needs. 7. Finally, determine the order in which you will present your information. Enter numbers in the spaces in the left margin of the Worksheet to indicate the order in which you’ll present your ideas and information. Significance to the Readers and the Position are already numbered, showing the order of the first two paragraphs

in almost all circumstances. The sequence in which you present the elements of your argument should, of course, be consistent with your key readers’ needs and the logical flow of your message. Filling out the Worksheet in the order suggested above will help you to develop the flow of your argument. Defining your Position, Conclusions, and Recommendations first, should make it easier to identify the other elements you’ll need to include and the most effective way to formulate your message when you draft it. In the two examples that follow, you’ll see a completed Worksheet and the Opening Statement composed from it. Note that in each example there’s no information in the Opening Statement that doesn’t also appear on the Worksheet.

Subject: Gamma Logging in the Natuna Boreholes— Recommended As you requested, I have discussed the possibility of performing gamma logging at the Natuna boreholes with three engineers at Eldridge Petroleum Consulting [What Prompts Your Document Now]. They were unanimous in their assessment that gamma logging will give us a much more extensive record of soil stratigraphy [Importance of Subject]. Therefore, I recommend we perform gamma logging at the Natuna site [Position], based on the following four benefits: 1.   Gamma logging will meet our need for a record of soil stratigraphy 2.   The cost is reasonable 3.   The logging is easy to perform 4.   We have the personnel and equipment to do the logging [Conclusions]. I would appreciate your getting back to me with your decision by the end of the week [Action Program] so we can get the equipment ready if you decide to go ahead with the gamma logging [Future Work]. My only reservation is that vessel motion could cause the data to be unreliable. However, this problem can be corrected with a motion compensator [Conclusion]. Each of these considerations is addressed in the attachment. The Natuna boreholes are located 400 miles off the coast of Malaysia. We have been conducting explorations there for the past 18 months [Essential Background]. Stratigraphy is a branch of geology that uses various techniques to determine the composition of subsurface rock formations. Petroleum geologists use this data to predict where oil reservoirs may exist, and how difficult drilling to the reservoir will be. Gamma logging is one of the primary methods used for determining soil stratigraphy. By measuring the naturally occurring gamma

radiation in a borehole, geologists can map the porosity of rock or sediment around a well hole. [Definition of Terms].

Subject: On-site Daycare—Recommended As we have discussed many times, we are having increasing difficulty attracting and retaining men and women in entry-level positions [What Prompts Your Document Now]. In fact, most of our departments are operating at approximately 80 percent capacity in these jobs since our benefits package is less than our competitors’ offerings [Importance of Subject]. As part of our strategy to move the company toward full staffing for entry-level positions, I recommend that we establish an on-site, subsidized daycare facility for the children of full-time employees [Position]. This facility will accommodate a maximum of 150 children between the ages of 3 months and 5 years. It will be housed in a 10,000 square foot area in Building 111 and operate between the hours of 6 a.m. and 6 p.m. [Essential Background]. By “subsidized” daycare, I am proposing the company underwrite expenses so rates for this service will be approximately 75 percent of the costs of daycare in the surrounding communities [Definition of Terms]. Five benefits from setting up a daycare facility are as follows. ●   Reduced turnover—We anticipate turnover will drop from the 14 percent of the total entry-level workforce last year to 8 percent. ●   Increased numbers of applicants—The experience of local banks that have established daycare centers indicates that we can expect to double the pool of prospective entry-level employees. ●   Improved productivity—Projections suggest that we will reduce absenteeism by 50 percent by meeting the daycare needs of our employees. ●   Enhanced employee morale—The facility will reduce the stress and improve the outlook of employees with pre-school children.

●   Improved company image—Setting up a daycare facility will enhance our reputation throughout the industry by demonstrating that we are a progressive company concerned with our employees’ well-being [Conclusions]. While projections of the costs for operating such a daycare facility indicate an annual budget of $100,000, this expense will be offset by the reduced costs of turnover and the economic benefits of increased productivity. As for management’s concerns about the administration of such a facility, I am confident that an able director can resolve these matters within the first six months of the daycare’s operation [Conclusions]. See the attachment for detailed accounts of the benefits, as well as an address to these concerns. In evaluating the appropriateness of a daycare facility, I relied on the results of the Human Resources survey conducted last October. In addition, I drew on observations presented in the recent report prepared by the consulting firm of Mercer Associates [Sources of Data]. In this proposal I have assumed that a facility for 150 children will meet the needs of existing employees and new hires for the next five years. However, if projections to be performed by Human Resources show that the number of eligible children will decline by more than 20 percent in the next two years, other options for providing daycare will be explored [Assumptions & Limitations]. Finally, I urge that a director be hired to head the implementation effort by January 1 and that the facility be operating by April 1 [Action Program]. If company-sponsored daycare is approved, I will research the experience of local companies setting up daycare and present my findings to you in a report by September 1 [Future Work]. *          *          *          *

The Worksheet for Organizing Ideas is appropriate for planning all types of business correspondence. It’s a comprehensive checklist that ensures that you consider all the information you may need to compose a convincing communication. You’ll find copies of this form in Chapter 15 of Business Writing: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, the companion volume to Organizing Ideas. Make photocopies of the Worksheet and fill it out every time you write a memo, letter, proposal, report, or any other form of correspondence that is longer than an e-mail. In a few weeks, your thinking will naturally conform to this format whenever you need to organize your thoughts. For most e-mail correspondence, however, we generally don’t have the time for such a comprehensive checklist, nor do we need one. Therefore, the next chapter presents a simplified outline for composing e-mail that focuses on the essence of the Spence & Company approach to business writing.

If I had more time, I’d write a shorter letter. BLAISE PASCAL

7. Even Quicker: Guidelines for E-mail Everything that has been said so far about writing for your readers and structuring your message for clarity and conciseness applies with particular urgency to e-mail, and to texting. If your e-mail clearly expresses what you want your audience to do or believe, your readers are more likely to do what you propose or give you the information you need. If, on the other hand, your emails are difficult to read and understand, your readers may simply ignore your message and turn their attention to someone else’s. And with more people reading e-mail on smart phones, you have even less screen-space in which to get your message across. But how can we make our messages consistently clear and concise when the velocity and volume of e-mail is so demanding? Filling out the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas for every e-mail we write is obviously impractical. Nonetheless, the overall structure of the Worksheet does give us a basis for organizing our thoughts on any topic, whether or not we actually fill it out. The Outline for E-mail and Texting that follows is offered in that spirit. It synthesizes the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas into four questions that capture the essence of any message. The questions are simple enough that you can use them to organize your ideas and information as you compose scores of e-mails and text messages throughout the day. Use the outline consistently for a week or two, and it will become a natural part of the thinking process you use to compose any message.

For most e-mails, you can probably organize your thoughts by thinking through the questions in the Outline for E-mail and Texting as you compose. If your e-mail is more complex, you may want to actually fill out the form. And, if your message needs even more detailed planning, use the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas. *          *          *          * Although a number of books have appeared over the years to help people compose and manage e-mail, these books are generally filled with advice on minor matters of etiquette. What’s missing in every case is a guide to making e-mail communication truly effective. These books generally assume you compose e-mail as mere conversation on screen—which is, in effect, what most people actually do. The result, however, is that a lot of e-mail rambles and never gets to the point. And most serious of all, it often doesn’t get read. Therefore, in addition to the guidance for composing e-mail that the Outline for E-mail and Texting provides, the following sections offer additional suggestions for writing e-mails that will get readers’ attention.

Guidelines for Composing E-Mail

Let’s begin with some do’s and don’ts to keep in mind when writing e-mail. 1. Don’t clutter people’s Inboxes; address your e-mails consciously—Include individuals in the To: line who need to act on your e-mail. Cc: individuals if your e-mail will directly affect their work. Only send FYI e-mails to individuals who have specifically requested that you keep them informed about a topic. Before Forwarding, be sure you’re not sharing confidential information. When in doubt, ask. Avoid the Bcc option—readers should know who else is receiving your message. 2. Your Subject should summarize your Position in four to seven words—Writing your Subject after you’ve composed your message will ensure that it summarizes what you want your readers to do or believe. Put a verb in your Subject: Proposed, Requested, Recommended, Required, etc. Change the Subject when a thread changes topic. Some phones limit the length of Subjects, so keep them as short as possible. 3. Begin with a salutation, or use your reader’s name in the first sentence, especially when writing to someone you don’t know well—Addressing readers personally increases the likelihood that they will read and respond to your message. Addressing e-mails to “All” or “Hi everyone” may be ineffective, however, since no one in particular is addressed. E-mails to a distribution list are like bulletins. Therefore, skip the salutation, and go straight to your message. Or identify the group you’re addressing, so recipients know why they’re receiving a group e-mail. For example, “Hi Strategic Planning Team.” 4. Tell readers why you’re writing, and what you want them to do or believe—Begin by setting context: why are you writing about your topic now? Then state your point of view, the information you need, or the action you recommend, followed by supporting points. Make sure the real reason you’re writing doesn’t appear at the end of your message. 5. Attach FIRST—When sending documents, attach them first, then write your message. That way, you never have to send an

“Oops e-mail.” Tell readers early in the e-mail what the attachment is about and what you want them to do with it. Use a filename that identifies the file’s contents, if possible. 6. Address LAST—Address e-mail only when you’ve finished composing, especially when you’re worked up or your message is sensitive. Addressing last requires that you think twice before sending. 7. Put apologies at the end of e-mails, not at the beginning— Handle business first. Then, address any relational concerns you may have. Unless the relationship is the business. 8. Don’t be ambiguous—People read all kinds of things into email. Don’t complicate matters. Connect the dots. Say what you mean. Don’t leave readers wondering. 9. Don’t use irony, sarcasm, ellipses (…), or smiley faces— Simply say what you’re feeling. Or skip the commentary. 10. Don’t use ASAP—If you need a timely response, say when, and if possible why. What your reader thinks is “soon” may not be what you mean by “soon.” Give your readers a reason to make your priority their priority. 11. Limit each e-mail to one topic, addressed to one audience, with the most important information on the first screen—The more topics you discuss per e-mail, the less likely you are to get the response you need. Don’t write separate messages to different people in the same e-mail, even if the topic is the same. 12. Put Data or details in an attachment or at the end of the e-mail—Your message should summarize your assessment or solution without the need for Data. Only attach details if you think readers will read the supporting evidence or discussion. 13. Write your message in short paragraphs, each one limited to one topic—The most common mistake in e-mail is writing the whole message as one paragraph. Long, complex

paragraphs are hard to read and understand. A one-sentence paragraph is a good way to emphasize an idea or information. 14. Use sideheadings in longer e-mails to identify where topics begin and end—Begin by listing the topics discussed in the e-mail, with a Conclusion or Recommendation for each topic: “The following e-mail discusses 3 issues we need to resolve this week: 1…, 2…, 3…” Then discuss each topic, beginning with a statement of your Conclusion or Recommendation, followed by discussion. Number each topic, or use sideheadings, to indicate the beginning and end of each discussion. 15. Eliminate formatting from e-mail that will be read on a smartphone—Not all smartphones display formatting, making some messages hard to read. Remove formatting from numbered lists. For bullets, use asterisks, plus signs, or minus signs. Indent to show paragraphing. A double return can create so much space that readers may conclude too soon that your message has ended. If formatting is an essential part of your message, send your message in an attachment as a PDF file. 16. Don’t use bold, underlining, italics, or all caps to compensate for poor organization—People often use text formatting to highlight information they’ve buried in their message. Put important information at the beginning of your e-mail if you want people to see it. Then highlight important names or dates for additional emphasis. 17. Read your e-mail for tone—If you have any doubt about how your e-mail might sound to someone else, read it out loud, listening for the feeling it conveys, especially if you’re tired or irritable. Fatigue and bad mood can easily overwhelm discrimination and judgment. 18. Turn on the e-mail spell-checker and proofread your message, especially when you need to make a good impression—E-mail projects an image of how you work. The fewer fingerprints you leave on the page, the cleaner your message will be.

19. If you send e-mail outside of working hours, tell readers when you expect a response—24/7 or at their convenience? Now let’s look in more detail at a few critical practices of effective messaging.

Paragraphing for Readability One of the most common mistakes people make in e-mail is to write their message as a single paragraph, or a series of long paragraphs packed with information. Long paragraphs frustrate readers who are skimming e-mail for information that is important to them. Therefore, one of the easiest ways to make your e-mails more readable is to organize your message into a series of short paragraphs that can be absorbed at the speed of a conversation. The purpose of a paragraph is to show a change in the topic you’re discussing. And there’s no rule that says a paragraph can’t be a single sentence. A one-sentence paragraph is, in fact, an effective way to emphasize a point. Therefore, create a new paragraph in your e-mails every time you introduce a new topic or new information. Even if your e-mail is only five sentences long, it will be much easier to read if each sentence stands as a separate paragraph. Writing your e-mail as a series of short paragraphs will also make it easier to review and revise for clarity before you send it. Once you’ve divided your message into short paragraphs, review the four questions in the Outline for E-mail and Texting and consider the best order in which to present your information. Have you put the most important information at the beginning of your e-mail? Have you told your readers why you’re writing? Is your Position clearly stated in the first sentence of the second paragraph, or earlier? Have you given your readers a clear account of your supporting points? Will your readers know what you want them to do next?

Don’t Reply to Complex E-mails—Forward Them

When you receive an e-mail that is long and complex, hit the Forward button, instead of Reply. This method is particularly useful for answering e-mails that request your response to a series of questions. Separate each question into a separate paragraph, and then write your answer next to or below each question, using a font in a different color. Another advantage of the Forward option is that it allows you to reorganize the contents of an e-mail. If an e-mail you’ve received is so convoluted that it’s difficult to understand, use this feature to edit the message into a more readable communication. It’s often easier to figure out what someone is trying to say by reorganizing their message than it is to figure it out in your head. Begin by breaking long paragraphs into shorter ones that each discusses a single topic. Then find the author’s Position and move it to the top of the e-mail. Group Issues and Conclusions into one list, Recommendations into another. Consolidate Data and identify how it supports the Conclusions and Recommendations. Once you’ve identified exactly what your correspondent wants you to do or believe, send the reorganized e-mail back to him, with your reply.

Is the Content of Your E-mail Sensitive Information? Virtually everyone in business is aware of the liabilities of unconsidered speech in e-mail. But people apparently ignore the common wisdom on a regular basis, since careless e-mails are still the stuff of corporate scandals that convict their authors of illegal acts and libelous opinions. Therefore, be alert to the content and tone of e-mails about sensitive topics. And remember: e-mail is never private. It’s like a postcard—anyone can read it and pass it around. Don’t e-mail anything that you wouldn’t want to read in tomorrow morning’s newspaper. And, there’s no such thing as deleting an e-mail: it exists on some other computer, somewhere.

If you must discuss sensitive information, be particularly conscious of how you handle the following topics: Human resource issues Competitive intelligence An organization’s finances Intellectual capital and trade secrets Insider knowledge about impending changes in an organization.

Is E-mail the Best Channel of Communication? Effective communicators know that they must adapt the means of communication to the needs of the situation. E-mail is only one of four channels of communication. The other three are face-to-face conversation, the telephone, and correspondence in hardcopy. One of the hallmarks of good management is knowing when to override e-mail as the default medium, walk down the hall or pick up the phone, and talk to someone. Talking in person, making a phone call, or sending a printed document may be more effective than an e-mail when you need to ensure privacy, deliver unpleasant or sensitive information, clear up a misunderstanding, or when you need an immediate reply—since email only guarantees immediate delivery. Human contact, even by phone, helps to maintain the balance in professional communications that can get off track if e-mail is relied on as the sole means of communication. As Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, points out, “email generally increases the likelihood of conflict and miscommunication,” in part because “we tend to misinterpret positive e-mail as more neutral, and neutral ones as more negative, than the sender intended. Even jokes are rated as less funny by recipients than by senders.” Likewise, e-mail may not be the best medium when your message requires a back-and-forth, negotiation, or when you want to involve several people in a discussion. Formal, written documents require

that writers take more care preparing them and readers more care reading them. Consider, therefore, whether sending a report or memo in hardcopy may be a better way to get it the attention you desire. *          *          *          * E-mail presents us with a dilemma that Pascal captured aptly in the quote at the beginning of the chapter: communicating ideas briefly often takes more time. The Outline for E-mail and Texting presented in this chapter gives you a tool, however, for quickly identifying the essence of what you want to say. Tape a copy of it to your computer monitor until its four questions become second nature when composing a message. Now that you have a structure and tools for organizing e-mails and one-page documents, let’s look at how to organize the Body of a longer communication.

Facts are ventriloquists’ dummies. Sitting on a wise man’s knee, they may be made to utter words of wisdom; elsewhere they say nothing or talk nonsense. ALDOUS HUXLEY

8. Just the Facts, Please: The Body So far, we’ve discussed the opening statement as providing the structure for an e-mail or a one-page document. There are many instances, however, in which the Opening Statement must serve as an Executive Summary or the introduction to a longer document, such as a memo, proposal, or report. In documents of more than a page, the Opening Statement will usually serve as the first of a three-part discussion of your ideas in an Opening Statement, a Body, and a Summing Up. Your document will require a Body when a summary of your Issues, Conclusions, and Recommendations in the Opening Statement is not sufficient to make a convincing case for your Position. The Body is where you can present either 1. Quantitative evidence, or Data, that proves or supports your Position, or 2. Qualitative discussion of the points that prove or support your Position. So, how long should the Body be? How much Data is enough to support the Conclusions that justify your Position? How much do you need to discuss the ins-and-outs of your Conclusions and Recommendations to cinch the case in favor of your Position? When asked how long a man’s legs should be, Abraham Lincoln is said to have replied, “Long enough to reach the ground.” The same principle holds for deciding how much Data or discussion to introduce in the Body of your correspondence—only enough to make your Conclusions and Recommendations clear to your key

readers. When your key readers have different needs for detail, write a one-page document consisting of an Opening Statement, with the Data or discussion presented in an attachment. We’ll talk more about when to use a Summing Up in Chapter 9. In the meantime, let’s look at how to organize the Body of a document.

Organizing the Body Facts supposedly speak for themselves. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. Raw, undigested facts, or Data, are subject to different interpretations. To be meaningful, therefore, Data in the Body must be organized to prove specific Issues, Conclusions, or Recommendations. In the Body of your communication, you use the same structure we’ve applied to documents as a whole to organize your discussion of each Issue, Conclusion, or Recommendation. You tell your readers what you’re going to tell them, then tell them, and finally tell them what you’ve told them. So, in the Body you: 1. Identify the Issue, Conclusion, or Recommendation 2. Present the Data 3. Deduce the Conclusion or Recommendation. When identifying each Issue, Conclusion, or Recommendation, you may have to stress the importance of the particular point you’re discussing and give background, just as you do in an Opening Statement. For example, depending on your key readers, it may be necessary when discussing an Issue in a proposal to give the context in which you’re considering the Issue and its importance in proving the Position. The following paragraph illustrates the standard format for beginning the discussion of an Issue:

Cost is the first consideration in evaluating the proposed purchase of the IBM System z mainframe computer at this time [Identification of Issue]. By way of background, our computing expenses have increased by 50 percent since the opening of the Data Center [Background of Issue] and management is extremely concerned about this trend [Importance of Issue]. When presenting your Data, organize it in components, as is done, for example, in the following paragraph: In considering the costs of purchasing the IBM System z, I have broken costs into three types: capital costs, interest costs, and operating costs. Each of these is addressed below with spreadsheets detailing my projections [Presentation of Data]. Finally, as the last step in discussing each Issue, deduce your Conclusion from the Data presented. If you’re outlining the Data for a Recommendation, you’ll identify the Recommendation—“The next consideration is the proposal that we use modular design.” Then you present the Data and finally deduce the complete Recommendation —”I recommend we use modular design in developing the economic evaluation system.” This approach to organizing your discussion of the Issues, Conclusions, or Recommendations in the Body of a longer document can be summarized in an outline similar to the one used for the Opening Statement.

A.  Identification of Issue, Conclusion, Recommendation 1. Background of Issue, Conclusion, or Recommendation 2. Importance of Issue, Conclusion, or Recommendation B.  Presentation of Data 1. Component of Data A 2. Component of Data B 3. Component of Data C C.  Deduction of Conclusion or Recommendation In some instances, you may not arrive at your exact Conclusion for a particular Issue until you’ve organized and evaluated your Data. Consequently, the Conclusion appears at the end of the outline above to reflect the order in which you may do your thinking and outlining. However, the arrow in the margin is to remind you, when composing your draft, that identifying your Conclusion at the beginning of a discussion is more persuasive that merely identifying the Issue. The following is the opening paragraph of an account of Data. Notice that the Conclusion has been presented up front, in keeping with the arrow shown in the format above. The first consideration is cost [Identification of Issue], and an analysis of the economics shows we will save $35,000 over the next three years by purchasing the IBM System z mainframe computer at this time [Conclusion for Issue]. By way of background, our computing expenses have increased by 50 percent since the opening of the Data Center [Background of Issue], and management is extremely concerned about this trend [Importance of Issue]. You’ll find these arrows on the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas— Long Form in Chapter 10. To illustrate the use of this format, following is a discussion of the competitive quality of a paperboard product.

The quality of paperboard is determined by four physical properties [Identification of Issue], and Hardwicke paperboard has a solid competitive edge in each of these properties [Conclusion for Issue]. Maintaining high standards in these areas is of prime importance in applications in which high-grade board is required [Importance of Issue]. 1. High quality—To the customers and brokers we interviewed, high quality was the most outstanding advantage of Hardwicke board. One customer said that Hardwicke deliveries are 100 percent usable, whereas as much as 50 percent of other companies’ boards have had to be rejected because of blisters and other faults resulting from poor quality control [Data]. 2. Smoothness—One customer says that Hardwicke gets a better finish because it does a better job of smoothing the board in the wet stage of production. The customer stressed that most mills rely too much on finishing at the dry end of production to smooth the board [Data]. 3. Flatness—The fact that Hardwicke board lies flat is of particular interest to our largest broker, which puts a lining on much of the board. A flatter board goes through the lining machine better [Data]. 4. Workability—Although Hardwicke’s distinction in workability may be less outstanding than in other properties, it is still superior in this regard. Workability is important for making folding boxes [Data].

Determining the Order of Issues, Conclusions, and Recommendations Having established a structure for organizing the discussion of each Issue, Conclusion, or Recommendation, the following guidelines will help you determine the best sequence in which to present Issues, Conclusions, and Recommendations in the Body of a document. 1. Present Issues, Conclusions, and Recommendations in the most persuasive order. Consider the argument you’re making to

your readers. Are there intermediate steps in your argument that your readers must accept before they will accept your Position, your Conclusions, and your Recommendations? These steps may determine the order in which you present your Issues. For example, in the memo proposing gamma logging in Chapter 6, we have four Conclusions: (1) gamma logging meets our need for a record of soil stratigraphy; (2) the cost is reasonable; (3) the logging is easy to perform; and (4) the personnel and equipment to do the logging are available. At first glance, cost might seem the most important point and therefore should be first in our list of Conclusions. But it doesn’t matter how cheap gamma logging is if we don’t need the information it provides. For that reason, we must first persuade our readers that gamma logging will give us necessary information and then argue the other Conclusions. As another example, your readers may prefer that a job be done one way and you’re proposing another approach. In this case, you’ll probably have to show them objectively that there are limitations to their method before they will consider your approach. 2. Begin your discussion with the Issues, Conclusions, and Recommendations that are most important or convincing to your key readers. Don’t waste time discussing minor Issues before getting to Issues that your readers consider important. 3. Discuss the advantages of your Position and your “common ground” with your readers before you discuss the disadvantages and the controversial Issues. Unless, of course, you need to acknowledge readers’ objections or concerns before presenting the advantages of your proposal or point of view. 4. Discuss Issues, Conclusions, or Recommendations in the Body in the same order in which you listed them in the Opening Statement. 5. Address each Issue, Conclusion, or Recommendation completely before you discuss the next point.

Ultimately, good writing is balanced. Provide your readers with an evenhanded account of the Data in the Body and present this evidence in a manner that is both objective and persuasive.

All’s well that ends well. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

9. Once More with Feeling: The Summing Up The intent in the Summing Up as the final section of a communication is to make sure your readers are clear about what you’ve said. The Summing Up lends emphasis and persuasiveness to points you’ve presented in the Opening Statement and substantiated in the Body. Therefore, there should be no new information in the Summing Up. To accomplish these purposes, in your Summing Up you may: 1. Restate your Position 2. Recap the major Conclusions discussed in the Body 3. Reiterate your Recommendations, reminding your readers of: a. Action Program—the steps you want your readers to carry out b. Future Work—the work you, as the writer, intend to do Generally, a Summing Up shouldn’t be more than two paragraphs— one to restate your Position and Conclusions, and a second to recap your Recommendations. Because the Summing Up is so short, the order of the elements is flexible. In fact, the best sequence is simply the one that is most persuasive. When writing your Summing Up, avoid restating your Position, Conclusions, and Recommendations in wording identical to your account of these elements in the Opening Statement. At the same time, make sure the ideas in the Opening Statement and Summing Up are consistent. Another way to avoid a Summing Up that merely repeats what you said in the Opening Statement is to think of it as the Closing Arguments at the conclusion of a jury trial. In a trial, Closing

Arguments give attorneys the opportunity to reinforce the Conclusions they’ve drawn from the evidence, highlight the themes of the case, address disputed issues, and argue why their party should receive a favorable verdict. Think of your Summing Up as performing a similar purpose in your letter, memo, proposal, or report. It’s common to close our memos, letters, and e-mails with boilerplate that we all learn at some point in our induction into the world of business communication: “If you have any questions, please feel free to call me” or “Please don’t hesitate to call if you have any questions.” Or when we’re really feeling inspired: “Thank you in advance for your cooperation,” suggesting that the writer regards the reader as basically uncooperative and hopes the reader will go along with the program, just this once. Sound familiar? You bet. Most of us rely on these clichés in our closings. But many people I’ve worked with also express a certain discomfort with using such expressions, because they feel insincere, impersonal, perfunctory. Their intent is to offer help, and that is appropriate. But I’m often asked how to express these intentions in a more genuine manner. When I’m at a loss as to how to phrase an appropriate closing, I imagine I’m on the telephone with my reader and I say out loud every closing I might use in conversation—“I appreciate your taking the time to review this proposal,” “I look forward to hearing your thoughts,” “I’ll be in my office all this week and would be glad to answer any questions you have. . . .” From among these options, I then compose a Summing Up that is more personable and specifically suitable to the circumstances. The result is a more genuine and conversational approach that avoids the boilerplate language we all see in too many e-mails, memos, and proposals.

When to Use a Summing Up

Usually, you don’t need a Summing Up in correspondence of a page or less. If your document is effectively summarized in the Opening Statement and the Data in the Body is conclusive, you simply close with the presentation of the Data for your last Issue. If you limit a document to one page—just the Opening Statement— and put all the Data in an attachment, you also won’t need a Summing Up. An attachment is intended to be read selectively and not beginning to end, so a Summing Up at the end of an attachment is unnecessary. A Summing Up is appropriate under any of the following circumstances: 1. Your document is longer than two pages. A Summing Up in longer correspondence can provide a helpful recap of key points. 2. The subject of your correspondence is complex or unfamiliar to your key readers. Here it can aid your readers’ understanding by pulling together the threads of a complex discussion. 3. You have a selling job to do to convince your key readers. A Summing Up provides an opportunity to emphasize important Conclusions that support your Position. This is particularly appropriate when your document includes advantages and disadvantages and the last information in the Body is the Data for the disadvantage. In this case, the Summing Up serves to offset the drawbacks and emphasize the benefits. 4. You need to emphasize the action you want the key readers to take. Let’s say in the Opening Statement I’ve asked the key readers to complete a form according to the instructions that follow and return it to me by February 15. In a one-sentence Summing Up, I’ll conclude my message with “I look forward to receiving your completed form by the February 15 deadline.” In another case, if I’m trying to get the reader to take action, I close with “I will call you Friday to answer any questions you may have.” And then I do.

To illustrate the elements of a Summing Up, Here’s how a writer wrapped up a three-page memo recommending a new departmental filing system. In conclusion, the maintenance of complex and accurate files will require more time at first. However, once the new system is in effect, it will result in an overall savings in time. Also, it will save personnel the task of digging out information to justify budgets and confirm variations from profit plans [Recap of Conclusions]. For these reasons, I recommend the new filing system be instituted as soon as possible [Restatement of Position]. As I noted above, you should appoint a supervisor to coordinate the filing activities during the transition to the new system. In the meantime, I will issue detailed instructions to all personnel by the end of the month on how to proceed until the new filing system is implemented [Recap of Recommendations restating Action Plan and Future Work].

In writing you can make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, but first you have to create the sow’s ear. CHARLES PARNELL

10. Working with the Long Worksheet You now have a complete approach to structuring a document of any length, from the one-sentence e-mail to the lengthy technical report with a detailed account of Data. The following outline provides a framework for outlining any type of document. It continues the outline we began at the end of Chapter 5. OPENING STATEMENT I. Significance to the Readers A. What Prompts Your Document Now? As you requested, I have evaluated… B. Importance of Subject: This condition is costing us… II. Position: Therefore, I recommend… A. Essential Background: This condition has existed for eight months and… B. Definition of Terms: The term ‘cranking potential’ defines… III. Methodology A. Sources of Data: In this study, I relied on a report prepared by… B. Assumptions & Limitations: I assumed constant production levels and… IV. Issues and Conclusions (pro and con): This proposal will offer the following four benefits… V.  Recommendations: A. Action Program: I also recommend this change be implemented by April 1… B. Future Work: As soon as I receive your approval, I will…

BODY (if necessary) I. Issue /Conclusion /Recommendation A A.  Identification and Conclusion of Issue: The primary concern is operating efficiency and an analysis by Larkin Associates indicates that our plant can increase production by 15 percent by adopting this proposal. 1. Background of Issue: During the past five years our operating efficiency has declined as a result of… 2. Importance of Issue: If this trend continues, we will be forced to add a third shift. B. Presentation of Data 1. Component 1 of Data: Larkin Associates has found… 2. Component 2 of Data: Other companies’ experience has been… C. Conclusion of Issue (preferably stated in Identification of Issue in the draft) II. Issue / Conclusion / Recommendation B (same as for Issue A) SUMMING UP (if necessary) I.  Restatement of Position: Therefore, we should implement… II. Recap of Major Conclusions: This proposal is based on increased operating efficiency… III. Recap of Recommendations A. Action Program: The company should make this change effective April 1… B. Future Work: As a first step I will call… You’ll find the above format in the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas— Long Form that begins on the next page. The Long Form begins with the outline for the Opening Statement that you’ve already used, to

which three pages are added for outlining a Body and a Summing Up. Use the Long Form whenever you have to write a document that requires that you present Data or discuss the Conclusions that support your subject and the Recommendations that flow from it.

Example of a Longer Document On the following pages is an example of a Worksheet—Long Form outlining a document that has an Opening Statement, Body, and Summing Up. Thereafter, you’ll see a four-and-a-half-page memo written from the Worksheet. While the Data in this case doesn’t consist of numbers, as is often the case in technical correspondence, the Body is nonetheless organized around two Issues and three Recommendations that are substantiated with Data. As you review the memo, keep in mind that an appropriate modification of the format would be to make the Opening Statement a one-page memo and present the Body and its Data in a three-page attachment. In this case, you wouldn’t need a Summing Up, since an attachment doesn’t need a closing.

Subject: Proposed Economic Evaluation System (Opening Statement) As you requested, I have studied the feasibility of using one system to perform economic evaluations of capital improvement projects [What Prompts Your Document Now]. Implementing a new system to replace the four programs currently used by the operating groups will likely save both time and money currently spent on economic evaluations [Importance of Subject]. Based on my study, I recommend that we develop one system for evaluating the economics of all capital improvement projects [Position]. My proposal is based on the need for a system that will provide: ●  Economic indicators that are consistent with corporate guidelines

[Issue 1]

●  Savings in the time and cost of performing economic evaluations

[Issue 2].

In addition, I recommend that the system: 1. Be modular in design 2. Be developed in three phases 3. Use the CSS financial planning language [Recommendations giving the Action Program]. These benefits and recommendations are discussed in detail below. At the present time we are using EconEval, Forecaster, Infonomics, and Projector to perform economic evaluations. Although these programs are workable for small project evaluations, their application in major projects is a complex and time-consuming process. Furthermore, because the systems are not integrated, comparing their results is imprecise and often misleading [Essential Background].

As part of this study, I met with representatives of each of the operating groups and the Corporate Finance Department. We discussed both the basic features an economic evaluation system should have, plus special capabilities each group would need. I also talked with representatives of firms that specialize in economic evaluation systems and reviewed literature on available systems [Sources of Data]. In the next week I will send you an account of the project’s scope, including a cost estimate, an evaluation of available vendors, a development timeline, and system requirements for the new program [Recommendation stating Future Work]. (Body) I. Justification for the New System The recommendation that we develop a new system for economic evaluations of capital improvement projects is based on the need for the following two improvements, which are discussed in detail below: ●  Economic indicators that are consistent with corporate guidelines. ●  Savings in the time and cost of performing economic evaluations.

   [Opening summary of this section]  

Need for Consistency of Economic Indicators Through the development of a single system of evaluation, the Corporate Finance Department will be able to ensure the consistency of the economic indicators used to evaluate all capital project proposals [Identification of Issue and Conclusion]. The department is responsible for determining that economic indicators for all projects comply with company guidelines [Background of Issue]. The current system for evaluations makes it difficult to achieve this end and often results in inaccuracies because of the complexities of reconciling the output from four different evaluation systems [Importance of Issue].

The source of this reconciliation problem is that the four systems currently used each relies on different methods for estimating capital costs. While EconEval uses linear regression for performing economic analysis, Forecaster has been developed around the more sophisticated projections that are possible with Monte Carlo simulation. Infonomics and Projector each have their own systems for determining the validity of the economics of a proposal. Although each of these two systems offers results that may complement the analyses of the other two systems, integrating these results is not feasible because of the differences in methodology. Under a single system for evaluations, the Finance Department will only have to use one set of calculations to measure the economic feasibility of proposals. The process will be simpler and there will be less likelihood of inaccuracies. Moreover, the Finance Department will be able to oversee the implementation of the system and ensure that the operating groups use it consistently and effectively [Data for Issue proving Conclusion]. Savings in Time and Cost of Evaluations A single system will save considerable time and money in our evaluation of capital improvement projects [Identification of Issue and Conclusion]. Our current methods for reviewing proposals have become increasingly costly, which is, of course, a source of concern to management in the present economic climate [Background and Importance of Issue]. Changing variables in a single system can be accomplished much more quickly and accurately than changing them in four systems, as is currently required. To change depreciation rules, tax laws, or corporate guidelines, four programs must now be revised, requiring a great deal of time for programming and other staff support. These savings in time also translate into cost savings. Current estimates place the cost of using four systems to prepare and review proposals for capital improvements at $165 per page of proposal. Projections show that this cost can be reduced to less than $100 per

page with a single evaluation system. Although these figures are only estimates, they indicate the potential savings to be realized from implementing a single system for company-wide use [Data for Issue proving Conclusion]. II. Recommendations: How to Develop the New Evaluation System If we agree to develop a single system for economic evaluations of capital improvement projects, I recommend, in addition, that the system: 1.  Be modular in design 2.  Be developed in three phases 3.  Use the CSS financial planning language. These recommendations, which are fully discussed below, are based on interviews with representatives of each of the operating groups and the Corporate Finance Department about system features and rollout that each group prefers. [Opening summary of this section] 1. Develop Using Modular Design The proposed system should be developed using a modular design [Identification of Recommendation]. In a modular approach, each major component of the evaluation process is handled separately [Background of Recommendation], which will provide greater flexibility for handling additions and modifications. It will also offer simpler options for how calculations are presented [Importance of Recommendation]. Under a modular approach, each operating group will be able to select only those calculations that are appropriate to each proposal. For example, although the calculation of economic indicators will be incorporated in all proposals, user groups will have the option to include other calculation modules, such as input, depreciation, or taxes, as needed. In this way, calculations can be tailored to address the specific needs of each group and each specific project.

Furthermore, the present structure of proposals is unnecessarily complicated. Too often, diverse components of analysis are presented in a disorganized fashion. As a consequence, it is difficult to see at a glance whether all the necessary indicators have been accounted for and whether the economic analysis is complete. With a modular structure, each component of economic evaluation will be presented in a clear and consistent format for all projects. As a result, the evaluation process will be simpler for the analysts and more consistent across projects [Data for Recommendation]. 2. Develop in Three Phases The proposed system should be developed in three phases because this will offer a logical approach to implementation. It will also ensure that work progresses in an orderly manner that is least disruptive to the work of the operating groups [Identification of Recommendation] In the first phase, one operating group’s program will be converted to the new system and modules for the group’s input, calculations, and output will be developed. When this phase is complete, we will conduct a study to evaluate the system’s success in addressing the user group’s needs and their satisfaction with its performance. Feedback will be incorporated into the system’s design, as necessary. The Infonomics program being used by the Engineering Department is the best candidate for the first phase of development. Good documentation is available for this program, which will increase the likelihood of a smooth conversion. Also, Engineering will be developing proposals for several large construction projects in the next six months and will be able to make immediate use of the improvements offered by the new system. In the second phase of development, the other three programs will be converted. Modules to handle the specific requirements of the user groups will also be developed at that time. Another study will be conducted at the end of this phase to assess user groups’ satisfaction with the system and make any necessary modifications.

In the third phase, we will add valuable decision-making features to the system, such as graphics, risk analysis, and statistical forecasting, that are not available in any of the four existing programs. [Data for Recommendation]. 3. Develop Using CSS Language As a final suggestion, I propose we use the CSS financial planning language because it will make the system more user-friendly [Identification and statement of Recommendation]. The CSS language is specifically designed for developing applications for relatively unsophisticated users. The CSS language has been developed by CSS Consultants and will be available for our use by June 1 [Background of Recommendation]. It is already being successfully applied in a Beta test by one of our subsidiaries [Importance of Recommendation]. Using CSS will facilitate the modular design of the system recommended above. Many frequently-used calculations, such as depreciation and loan amortization, are already available as CSS modules. CSS also includes more sophisticated features, such as sensitivity analysis, risk analysis, and goal seeking. The availability of these modules as standard components of CSS will save development time and make timely implementation of the system possible. CSS also includes security features that will assist in system development across the company network and provide secure access to data throughout the company. As a result, assembling financial information for a capital project proposal will be a much simpler process than currently exists. Security and networking features in CSS will also facilitate the preparation of proposals by financial analysts working in teams [Data for Recommendation]. (Summing Up) By developing a single system for economic evaluations, we can streamline our evaluation of capital improvement proposals. The results will be a more efficient and economical system that provides

a consistent format for evaluating all capital proposals and complies with company guidelines for economic evaluations [Recap of Major Conclusions]. Based on these benefits, we should proceed to develop a single evaluation system for capital investment projects [Restatement of Position]. As noted above, I will provide you in the coming week with a complete account of the project’s scope [Recap of Recommendation stating Future Work].

Write freely and as rapidly as possible and throw the whole thing down on paper. Never correct or rewrite until the whole thing is down. Rewriting in process is usually found to be an excuse for not going on. JOHN STEINBECK

11. Quick and Dirty: Your Draft in 10 Minutes Now for the most difficult habit to break—editing while you draft. The process of getting words onto paper or screen will be efficient only when you learn to expand your outline into a rough draft without editing. If you try to draft and edit at the same time, your drafting will be labored and your editing ineffective. To achieve some flow and cohesiveness in your draft, you must maintain momentum in composing from your outline. Pausing to edit interrupts the progression from element to element outlined on your Worksheet and makes the result more fragmented. Furthermore, you can’t effectively edit your draft as you’re composing it, because to edit effectively requires that you have a body of text to work with. You can’t decide if you’re overusing a particular word until you get your entire draft down. You can’t recognize whether the sentence structure is repetitive, the ideas within a paragraph are linked, or the topic sentences informative until you can see the entire draft in front of you. To break this habit of editing while you draft, practice free writing —write down your ideas as they come to you, without editing or revising. Don’t cross out what you’ve written, don’t erase, don’t even reread your last sentence before writing the next. If you reread, you’ll have an irresistible urge to change something. If you start editing at this stage, it may take you ten minutes or more just to move beyond the first paragraph. Don’t even think during this drafting stage. You’ve done all the thinking in preparing your outline. You only need to expand the short

phrases or key words you’ve provided for each element on your Worksheet into a full sentence or two. To get your draft started, look at the phrase you’ve entered for What Prompts Your Document Now at the beginning of your outline for the Opening Statement. Expand that phrase into a complete sentence in your head. Once you’ve it clearly composed, write it down. Don’t look at that sentence again. Move on to Importance of Subject. Compose what you’re going to say for this element in a sentence or two in your mind, and then write it. Now start a new paragraph and compose your Position as a complete sentence. Continue this process until you’ve completed your draft. As you draft, be sure to follow the sequence of points you’ve established with the numbers in the blanks in the left margin of the Worksheet. While you may occasionally decide to depart from that sequence when you draft, ignoring those numbers will usually require that you restructure your draft later. Drafting first and then editing is an approach that many may have difficulty adopting at first. The primary obstacle is often that we’re uncomfortable with writing anything that is not perfect. You’ll find, however, that perfectionism will only slow you down and make an already challenging process more arduous. Hence the suggestion that you “free write”—put aside any aspirations you may have to writing perfectly, and get on with the messy process of expressing what you have to say in the best manner possible. Whatever imperfections may appear can be fixed later. Following are four suggestions for getting your draft down quickly. 1. Start by drafting whatever feels easiest to write. If you’re having difficulty composing that first sentence telling What Prompts Your Document Now, skip it. Leave some space at the top of your screen or page and begin with the Position. Once you’ve finished the draft, go back to the beginning. In the context of the draft, those early sentences may come more easily.

2. Don’t write more than two sentences without referring to the outline on your Worksheet. If you fail to check the Worksheet, you can easily go off on a tangent that departs from your outline. 3. If the right word doesn’t come, use any word, or leave a blank. You’ll make final decisions about word choice when you edit your draft, as discussed in the next chapter. 4. Talk yourself through your draft. Say each sentence out loud before you write it. Because most of us are more comfortable talking about rather than writing our ideas, talking your way through your draft can make it easier to formulate thoughts in writing. It will also give your writing a lighter, more conversational style, making it easier to read. If you walk through any newsroom, you’ll often hear reporters mumbling as they work at their computers. They’re speaking their thoughts, and then writing them. When you’ve completed your rough draft, it may be choppy. The sentences may be awkward. You may be discouraged by what you read. But take heart! You have a draft on the screen or on paper— which constitutes at least 75 percent of the effort required to compose a document. The editing process is a matter of polishing what you’ve written. You won’t have to make major changes in your ideas and you won’t be altering the structure. In composing your outline, you made deliberate and well-reasoned decisions about what to include in your document and the best order in which to present it. Now your editing can produce the silk purse.

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. WILLIAM STRUNK JR.

12. Quick and Clean: The Final Edit Planning and drafting a document is like pouring the foundation and framing a house. These two tasks represent the heavy lifting in the writing process. Editing, by comparison, is like finish carpentry. You’ve figured out what you want to say. You have a body of text to work with. Now you’re refining your choice of words, your sentences, and your paragraphs. If your work in the Thinking and Drafting phases is sound, then Editing is usually easier than Drafting, and may even be enjoyable. Or as Stephen King has said, “To write is human, to edit, divine.” Many people associate editing with English teachers wielding red pens, correcting their mistakes. To my mind, however, that is the task of copyediting, in which the objective is to correct mistakes in grammar, punctuation, and usage. It’s usually the last step in preparing formal business documents that will go to clients or the public, and whose language needs, therefore, to be as perfect as possible. Copyediting is performed by professionals who have a deep knowledge of the rules of English grammar. For most business correspondence, however, perfection is not required. Therefore, the principles for editing presented in this chapter don’t address matters of grammar. The innate knowledge of grammar that a native speaker has is usually sufficient to write and speak English that people recognize as correct. If you have a question about proper English usage, look it up online or consult a reference book on grammar.

The purpose of principles of editing that follow is to ensure that readers pay attention to your ideas, and not to the sentences and paragraphs you use to express them. Sentences and paragraphs should be transparent. They should express your ideas and the flow of your argument without drawing attention to the mechanics of how you do that. The principles that follow are a checklist with which to evaluate your writing for clarity and readability. They apply to sentences and paragraphs the same principles we’ve used until now to guide the organization of your message. They ensure that your sentences and paragraphs present information in descending order of importance, and that paragraphs tell readers what the paragraph is about, and then discuss the topic. Check your paragraphs using these four guidelines: 1. Limit each paragraph to one topic. 2. Begin each paragraph with a topic sentence. 3. Limit each paragraph to four or five sentences or 1 to 1½ inches of single-spaced text. 4. Link the sentences in a paragraph by: a. using a connective, or b. repeating a key word or idea from the preceding sentence. Apply the following five rules to edit your sentences: 1. Limit sentences to a maximum of two ideas or two verbs. 2. Limit the average length of sentences to between 18 and 20 words. 3. Omit unnecessary words, checking each word to see if it can be left out. 4. Use the simple, familiar words you would use in conversation with your readers.

5. Keep the verb at the beginning of the sentence and use the active voice. The marks of good writing are clarity and brevity, characteristics these principles are designed to achieve. You can violate these editing principles occasionally, but only at the risk of making your writing less clear and less concise.

Don’t Rewrite—Edit! Much of what is called editing in business is actually rewriting. You submit a memo or letter to your boss for approval before you send it to a client. Your boss skims it, comments that it needs “editing,” and then opens a screen and proceeds to recast your sentences in his or her own words. That’s not editing—it’s rewriting. By contrast, editing is making changes on the original text applying the nine guidelines presented above. There are three problems with rewriting: 1. Rewriting usually changes the meaning of the original piece of writing. In putting the memo or letter in his own words, your boss changes the emphasis, alters the intent, or simply composes a different message. By contrast, editing, because it’s performed on the text of the original piece of writing, is less likely to alter the meaning. 2. The rewritten memo or letter is invariably longer because the rewriter adds a word here, an idea there, and what should have been a four-paragraph account suddenly becomes a page-and-a-half document. This bloat is less likely to occur when all the changes are made on the original memo or letter. 3. Rewriting is not constructive. Your boss is simply putting your ideas into her own words and you’re not getting any guidance on how to improve your writing. Except, possibly, that you should learn to write like your boss! The nine principles for editing in this chapter are quickly learned and easily applied. See the section below on Applying the Four Rules for

Paragraphs for a systematic approach to reviewing and revising your own and others’ writing. Teach these principles to people whose correspondence you edit, and soon you’ll have much less editing to do.

The Importance of Proper Paragraphing The paragraph is a formatting device that notifies your readers of a change of topic in your writing. By indenting or double-spacing, you’re signaling to your readers that one topic in your document has ended and another is beginning. The paragraph plays an indispensable role in making your writing clear and readable. By signaling a change in topic, the paragraph helps your readers follow your train of thought. Effective paragraphing enables readers to skim your document and read it selectively, focusing on the information that is most important to them. It also lends emphasis to important points and provides cohesiveness by showing how one idea relates to another. Finally, by breaking the text into easily digestible parts, the paragraph gives variety to your page and makes it more attractive to the eye. A common mistake people make in business writing is composing paragraphs that are long and complex, which undermines the readability that paragraphs are intended to promote. As you’ll see, the guidelines for paragraphs are interrelated and all serve to make your paragraphs easy to read and understand.

1. Limit each paragraph to one topic Since a paragraph marks a change in topic, it follows that each paragraph should contain only one topic. If you discuss two or more topics in a single paragraph, the paragraph is not fulfilling its function. You fail to notify the reader that the topic has changed, and the reader may become confused. To illustrate: We suggest the Treasurer modify the collection system to give the negotiators a greater role in collecting past-due bills. This modification will require that the department directors agree that

their negotiators will be responsible for initial contacts. As we see it, the credit manager will issue a dunning letter soon after a bill becomes past due and a week later issue a report of past-due bills to the negotiator for further action. The credit manager will still be accountable for past-due bills. In addition, he will establish standards to control the negotiators’ performance and insist, when necessary, on terminating agreements after the negotiators have been unable to collect. We further suggest the new system be tried with the Purchasing Department first, because it has the most pastdue bills. During this trial period we can make any additional modifications before the adoption of the system for all departments. Also, we propose that during the trial period the credit department trainee assist the credit manager in issuing the reports of past-due bills to the negotiators. During this period we should postpone creating the proposed credit assistant position, pending a review of the performance of the trainee and the results of the modification in the collection process. In a paragraph of this length, the eye gets lost in the unbroken block of text. An even more serious drawback is that the paragraph covers four different topics: (1) suggested change in the collection procedure, (2) description of how the change would work, (3) suggestion that the change be tried first in the Purchasing Department, (4) suggested assistance for the credit manager. When topics are run together in a single paragraph like this, our readers are likely to miss the important points. We can easily correct these faults by breaking each topic into a separate paragraph, like this: We suggest the Treasurer modify the collection system to give the negotiators a greater role in collecting past-due bills. This modification will require that the department directors agree that their negotiators will be responsible for initial contacts. As we see it, the credit manager will issue a dunning letter soon after a bill becomes past due and a week later issue a report of past-

due bills to the negotiator for further action. The credit manager will still be accountable for past-due bills. In addition, he will establish standards to control the negotiators’ performance and insist, when necessary, on terminating agreements after the negotiators have been unable to collect. We further suggest the new system be tried with the Purchasing Department first, because it has the most past-due bills. During this trial period we can make any additional modifications before the adoption of the system for all departments. Also, we propose that during the trial period the credit department trainee assist the credit manager in issuing the reports of past-due bills to the negotiators. During this period, we should postpone creating the proposed credit assistant position, pending a review of the performance of the trainee and the results of the modification in the collection process. The trick to breaking your correspondence into proper paragraphs is knowing what constitutes a topic. To a large extent, paragraphing is a matter of “feel” that you’ll develop as you give more attention to this aspect of your writing. Nonetheless, there are practical methods for identifying topics that may help you at the beginning. The Worksheet for Organizing Ideas is a topic outline. Each of the major headings or elements on the Worksheet represents a separate topic. For example, if you include information for Significance to the Readers, providing a sentence each for What Prompts Your Document Now and the Importance of Subject, you have a single topic. The next paragraph will contain a second topic—the Position and possibly some Essential Background and Definition of Terms. When you’ve completed the Worksheet, you’ll be able to estimate the number of paragraphs your correspondence will contain, based on the number of elements or topics you’ve included in your outline.

2. Begin each paragraph with a topic sentence

As we’ve seen, the basic sequence of ideas in communication is to tell your readers what you’re going to say, and then to say it. Applying this same sequence to a paragraph, you must begin with a topic sentence to tell what you’re going to say. A topic sentence identifies the topic discussed in a paragraph. To compose an effective topic sentence, ask yourself, “What am I trying to say in this paragraph?” Then put that point in the opening sentence of your paragraph. To test the effectiveness of your topic sentences, skim your piece of correspondence, reading only the first sentence of each paragraph. If you have good topic sentences, you should get a clear overview of what you’re saying from these topic sentences. When a paragraph doesn’t begin with a topic sentence, your readers must find the proper order of your ideas themselves. Many times they must analyze the whole paragraph to determine its meaning, as, for example, in the following paragraph: Winter requirements for access to cargo-unloading facilities for small ships exceed summer requirements by the equivalent of three 18,000-ton ships per week. This is the result of an increase in cargo business over previous forecasts and the fact that 56 percent of the cargo is delivered during the winter months. The unloading facilities of most of our customers are limited to 18,000-ton ships. The ability to use 26,000-ton ships is restricted by the limited facilities of customers and also by the peak requirements for small ships to these facilities over the winter period. Because the topic sentence is at the end, this paragraph is difficult to understand. You can’t figure out what the writer is driving at until the final sentence. Then you have to reconstruct the paragraph, putting the ideas in their proper order. A clear topic sentence would have avoided confusion and saved time. The ability to use 26,000-ton ships is restricted by: (1) the limited cargo-unloading facilities of customers and (2) the peak requirements for small ships to these facilities over the winter

period. Regarding the first point, the unloading facilities of most of our customers are limited to 18,000-ton ships. Regarding the second point, the winter requirements for cargo-unloading facilities for small ships exceed summer requirements by the equivalent of three 18,000-ton ships per week. This is the result of an increase in cargo business over previous forecasts and the fact that 56 percent of the cargo is delivered during the winter months.

3. Limit each paragraph to four or five sentences or 1 to 1½ inches of single-spaced text In business and technical writing, your paragraphs shouldn’t exceed five sentences. Another way to state this rule is that paragraphs shouldn’t be longer than 1 to 1½ inches of single-spaced text. The easiest way to apply this guideline is to use the Spence “knuckle rule.” Place the second joint of your index finger on the paragraph you’re editing. If it’s longer than the space between your knuckles, it’s too long. If you think you need longer paragraphs to accommodate your topics, look at your half-page paragraphs again. In most cases you’ll find a sufficient shift in ideas after five sentences or less to justify starting a new paragraph. In those instances in which large topics result in large paragraphs, break these topics into subtopics, one per paragraph, to make for easier reading. Ultimately, many of the choices about where to begin a new paragraph in your documents will be based on what sentences you want to emphasize. If there’s a key point in the middle of a paragraph that should stand out, make it a topic sentence. And by the way, forget the old rule that banned one-sentence paragraphs. It’s an arbitrary rule that won’t make your writing any clearer. A single-sentence paragraph, furthermore, can be an effective way to emphasize an important point.

4. Link the sentences in each paragraph

Paragraphs are composed of sentences conveying ideas, all related to a specific topic. In the topic sentence of a paragraph, you state the key point of the topic. Each subsequent sentence in this paragraph contributes to explaining or elaborating on the topic sentence. For the ideas in your paragraph to be clear, the logical flow of meaning from sentence to sentence must also be clear. To establish this logical flow, each sentence in the paragraph must be linked to the one before by relating the idea expressed in that sentence to an idea expressed in the previous sentence. Relating one idea to another occurs naturally as you develop the elements of your argument. Broadly speaking, relationships between ideas are established by adding to, explaining, limiting, comparing, emphasizing, or sequencing ideas in two or more sentences. Don’t worry about linking sentences in your paragraphs when you’re drafting. Once you omplete that step and begin editing, however, you can show the relationship between sentences in two ways: a. Use a connective, such as also, however, furthermore, therefore, consequently. A list of common connectives appears below. b. Repeat a key word or idea from the preceding sentence. To illustrate: Repeating a word: Our study of your problem has been completed. The study showed.... Repeating an idea: The attached report presents. . . . It also reviews… If you’re having difficulty linking two sentences in a paragraph, it’s usually a sign that you’ve skipped a step in developing your argument, introduced a new topic, or placed the sentences in the wrong order. To illustrate the importance of linking sentences, here’s a paragraph on performance reviews in which the links between the sentences

have not been established: Performance reviews should resume in the first quarter of next year. Management development must assume greater importance because of the rapid growth of the company. Replacements for administrative and senior technical positions must be found among employees with five to ten years of service with the company. These employees must be prepared for greater responsibilities. Management can use performance reviews as one means of preparation. As written, the paragraph appears to have at least four different topics and is difficult to understand. This is not because it’s poorly written. In fact, the paragraph has a good topic sentence and each sentence expresses a clear idea. The problem is that the links between the sentences have been left out. As a result, the reader has to figure out the relationships between the ideas. To make the paragraph understandable, all that is needed is to link the sentences, using connectives and repeating key words and ideas, which are bolded in the revision below. Performance reviews should resume in the first quarter of next year. Reviews are required, because, with rapid growth of the company, management development must assume greater importance. With this growth, replacements for administrative and senior technical positions must be found among employees with five to ten years of service with the company. Consequently, these employees must be prepared by management for greater responsibilities. Management can use performance reviews as one means of preparation. Common Connectives Adding And, Also, As well as, Besides, Furthermore, In addition, Likewise, Moreover Explaining

As a rule, As a result, Because, Consequently, Due to, For example, For instance, Hence, In brief, In conclusion, In fact, In general, In other words, In summary, Obviously, Of course, On the whole, Since, Specifically, So, That is, Therefore, Thus, To illustrate Limiting Although, Apart from, As long as, But, Despite, Except, However, If, In spite of, Instead, Nevertheless, On the contrary, Still, Unless, Yet Comparing Alternately, By comparison, Compared with, Equally, In contrast, In other respects, Instead of, In that respect, In the same way, Likewise, On the other hand, Otherwise, Similarly, Unlike, Whereas, While Emphasizing Above all, Clearly, Especially, In fact, In particular, Most of all, Notably, Obviously, Significantly Sequencing After, Before, During, Earlier, First, second, third…, Finally, Later, Meanwhile, Next, Since, Then, Until

Applying the Four Rules for Paragraphs I recommend the following sequence for applying the four rules for effective paragraphing that we’ve just reviewed: 1. Look for long paragraphs. More than 1½ inches indicates that a paragraph is probably too long. 2. Check long paragraphs for more than one topic. 3. Break each topic into a separate paragraph. 4. Check that each paragraph has an effective topic sentence. 5. Make sure the sentences in each paragraph are linked to one another.

This sequence for applying the four rules for paragraphs is even more effective when it’s combined with what you’ve learned about the structure of effective documents earlier in the book. Combining a review of your paragraphs with a review of the structure of your document provides a systematic way to ensure that your writing will be clear at the level of each paragraph, and in the document as a whole. To combine a review of paragraphing with a structural review, begin by making sure that each paragraph discusses only one topic. Then examine each paragraph for the elements of your argument. Which paragraph expresses your Position? Your Issues and Conclusions, Essential Background, Recommendations, etc.? As you identify each element of your argument, move each paragraph to its proper position in the sequence of ideas and information you’re presenting. Does your document begin with What Prompts Your Document Now and, if necessary, the Importance of the Subject? Is your Position stated in the topic sentence of your second paragraph, or do you first need to provide Essential Background? What is the best sequence in which to present your Issues, Conclusions, and Recommendations? And so on. Having established the best order for presenting your ideas, paragraph by paragraph, now return to each paragraph and review it for clarity. Does each paragraph begin with a topic sentence? Are the sentences in each paragraph linked to one another to create a coherent discussion of the topic? When you’ve completed this last step, the structure of your document should clearly communicate your information and ideas, paragraph by paragraph. You’re now ready to refine your draft by applying the principles for sentences that are discussed in the next section. Good paragraphing is a courtesy to your readers. When you break up your text into short, easily understandable topics, you enable

readers to grasp your message more quickly, and with minimal effort.

Taking Care with Your Sentences Writing, it has been said, is a matter of choices. Good writing is a result of making good choices, and great writing is the consequence of great choices. This insight applies to the choices you make in writing sentences. To write clearly, you must choose the simplest and most precise way to express each idea. The primary requirements of business and technical writing are simplicity and clarity. Your readers are not interested in the fancy turn of phrase or impressed by a large vocabulary. They need to understand your message quickly. Therefore, much of the problem people have in sentence construction result from two problems: (1) sentences are too wordy, or (2) they contain too many ideas. Another way of stating these problems is that sentences are either too long or they’re too complex. And the two faults are often related: a sentence is too long when it contains too many ideas. Here again are the five guidelines for clear sentence construction to help you control the complexity and wordiness of your sentences: 1. Limit your sentences to two ideas or two verbs. 2. Limit the average length of sentences to between 18 and 20 words. 3. Omit unnecessary words, checking each word to see if it can be left out. 4. Use the simple, familiar words that you would use in conversation with your readers. 5. Keep the verb at the beginning of the sentence and use the active voice.

Explanations of these guidelines follow, with examples.

1. Limit your sentences to two ideas or two verbs The purpose of this first principle for sentences is to help you control the complexity of your sentences. The logic of the principle is this: it is the verbs in sentences that express ideas. If a sentence doesn’t have a verb, it doesn’t express an idea, and it isn’t a complete sentence. The phrase “the hot, uncomfortable room” doesn’t express a complete thought. Only when we add a verb—“the hot room is uncomfortable”—does the phrase become a sentence that expresses a complete idea. The mind understands ideas best when there are no more than two at a time. Therefore, your sentences should contain a maximum of two verbs. More than two verbs, and the meaning of a sentence becomes difficult to follow. In that case, read the sentence out loud and let your ear determine if you need to make one of the verb clauses into a separate sentence. Here’s a sentence with three verbs: “While I was flying from Midland to Portland on Friday evening, March 3, after a long day of work, my flight made a two-hour stopover in Dallas, where apparently the airlines lost my garment bag and two suitcases.” The sentence would be easier to read if one of the verb clauses were made into a separate sentence: “I was flying from Midland to Portland on Friday evening, March 3, after a long day of work. My flight made a two-hour stopover in Dallas, where apparently the airlines lost my garment bag and two suitcases.” Or: “While I was flying from Midland to Portland on Friday evening, March 3, after a long day of work, my flight made a two-hour stopover in Dallas. Apparently, the airlines lost my garment bag and two suitcases there.” The artfulness required in applying this principle, however, is that varying the number of verbs in your sentences will make your writing more readable. Notice, for example, that when each of the

sentences has only one verb, the result is a choppy, repetitious sentence structure: “I was flying from Midland to Portland on Friday evening, March 3, after a long day of work. My flight made a two-hour stopover in Dallas. Apparently, the airlines lost my garment bag and two suitcases there.” In complex accounts of information, the piling up of ideas or verbs in a single sentence can confuse readers. To illustrate, here’s a sentence with six ideas—or six verbs that appear in bold typeface. We recommend the System Development Division prepare a machine-checking program for the Exhibit 550 as soon as possible since this program can save time for the division, and because it will advance the dates by which finished output reports can be available, we should assign the project priority over all other projects. In the example below, the same information has been broken into three sentences, each with one or two verbs. We recommend the System Development Division prepare a machine-checking program for the Exhibit 550 as soon as possible. This program can save time for the division and advance the dates by which finished output reports can be available. Therefore, we should assign the project priority over all other projects. Notice above how connectives and the repetition of words and ideas have been used in the revised version to link together the three sentences created from the original long one. A second example follows. Although the Singleton Company was not party to the construction contracts with either the general contractors or subcontractors, establishing contract files would have simplified the process of reviewing all contracts for compliance with the work letter agreements and Singleton’s contract administration procedures, providing better internal control and assurance that all contracts were awarded in Singleton’s best interest.

The Singleton Company was not party to the construction contracts with either the general contractors or subcontractors. Nonetheless, establishing contract files would have simplified the process of reviewing all contracts for compliance with the work letter agreements and Singleton’s contract administration procedures. The files would also have provided better internal control and assurance that all contracts were awarded in Singleton’s best interest.

2. Limit the average length of sentences to between 18 and 20 words Whereas the first rule for sentences addresses their complexity, this second rule for sentences is addressed to controlling their wordiness. Why the limit of 18 to 20 words? Because it ensures that you comply with the first rule, which limits sentences to a maximum of two verbs. The average sentence has a verb every eight to ten words. Consequently, if your sentences are 18 to 20 words, you’ll have room for two verbs, but not for three or more. If your sentences are 50 to 60 words, they will contain five to six verbs, violating the first rule for sentences. As a result, your readers will have too many ideas to absorb when they finally pause at the period. A sentence of 18 to 20 words covers approximately two typewritten lines. Consequently, you should check every sentence of three or more typewritten lines for the number of ideas expressed. If the sentence has more than two ideas, consider breaking it up into two or more sentences. To illustrate, the following four-line sentence is easier to read when it’s broken into three shorter sentences: After an extensive review of the available data, the group agreed that the proposed generator for an expanded operation was reasonable and would have no adverse effect on the operation of the current machines at the scheduled speeds and would be usable on new, more modern machines.

After an extensive review of the available data, the group agreed that the proposed generator for an expanded operation was reasonable. It was also agreed that the generator would have no adverse effect on the operation of the current machines at the scheduled speeds. The group concluded, furthermore, that the generator would be usable on new, more modern machines.

3. Omit unnecessary words, checking each word to see if it can be left out. Omitting unnecessary words is considered by many writers and editors to be the most important rule for editing. Every word you use should be indispensable to the meaning of your sentence. Unnecessary words obscure that meaning. Yet all of us, through habit or haste, add words to our sentences that don’t contribute to the ideas we’re expressing. One of the simplest ways to eliminate unnecessary words is to look for a narrative, or storytelling, style in your writing. Although storytelling can be useful in a draft to reconstruct what has happened and arrive at a solution, it tends to introduce unnecessary phrasing. Notice in the following e-mail, for example, how the author includes frequent self-references that add nothing to the message. I looked into this today and it is going to be very difficult using DCM. The reg key is a HKCU and then has subkey that can be different on each profile. I was talking to Fred about it and we think the easiest way to check for it would be to do a software inventory scan for *.OST files located in the c:\users folder. Please have it check all subfolders for the files and collect the file details on them. We will be able to export this information to Excel and filter the report based on the file location, files size, and date last modified. I think this would give us the easiest and most accurate method of retrieving the information. Can one of you please add the file scan to software inventory today? In contrast, notice in the rewrite below how the e-mail becomes more readable when the story and the author’s references to self are

removed. Using DCM to retrieve the information you need is going to be very difficult. The reg key is an HKCU with a subkey that can be different for each profile. Fred and I think your easiest, most accurate solution is to do a software inventory scan for *.OST files located in the c:\users folder. Be sure the scan checks all subfolders and collects file details. Export the information to Excel and then filter it by file location, size, and date last modified. Someone please add the file scan to today’s software inventory. To eliminate unnecessary words, concentrate on what to leave out, not on what to include. As you review your sentences, ask yourself two questions: Will the meaning change if I leave this word out? Can I use one word where I’ve used two or more? In journalism, there was a time when editors would require reporters in training to review their articles by putting a dot over each word. The dots indicated that the reporter had paused over each word, asking herself if it could be omitted or if there were a more concise way to express the idea. This simple exercise may enable you to delete as much as 10 percent of the words in anything you write. Following are five categories of unnecessary words to avoid. 1. Compound prepositions—The use of compound prepositions, such as in order to, for the purpose of, and in light of the fact that, results in unnecessary wordiness. Usually, a single preposition will do —for example, to can be used instead of in order to, for instead of for the purpose of, because instead of in light of the fact that. 2. Doublets—We often use two or more words that have the same meaning. My favorite appeared in a technical report: two equal halves, as if you could have three unequal halves. Other examples: in the month of November, mutually agreeable, general consensus of opinion, and estimated at approximately.

3. Unnecessary Adjectives and Adverbs—Adjectives and adverbs are not generally necessary, or even useful, in business writing. The primary liability of adjectives and adverbs is that they tell your readers what you want them to think or feel about the ideas and information you’re presenting. Whether or not a proposal is very important is usually something you’ll want your readers to decide for themselves. Let the clarity of your ideas and the strength of your argument speak for themselves. As columnist and author Anthony Lukas has observed, “If the noun is good and the verb is strong, you almost never need an adjective.” Or an adverb, for that matter. If, for example, your Conclusions and Data are convincing, you don’t need the strongly in we strongly recommend. In other instances, a single adjective or adverb can do the work of two words, as in critical instead of extremely important. Unnecessary adjectives and adverbs also run the risk of weakening your case by overstating it. As they say in the legal profession: “If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the facts are against you, argue the law. And if the facts and the law are both against you, pound the table and scream for justice.” Proposals that are short on Conclusions and Data often try to compensate for this weakness by pounding the reader with unnecessary adjectives and adverbs. 4. The unnecessary hedge—Avoid qualifying your statements with “weasel words,” a phrase coined by Teddy Roosevelt to characterize the campaign speeches of an opponent. Weasel words include generally, usually, fundamentally, maybe, possibly, and hopefully. Similarly, we often hedge statements with the phrases we believe, we feel, or it is thought to be desirable. Following is an example of unnecessary hedging. While on account of unavoidable differences in actual and assumed conditions, and on account of the methods by which the problem was simplified for purposes of calculation, extreme accuracy

cannot be hoped for; nevertheless, most of the essential facts have been considered and evaluated, and it is therefore felt that the final results obtained are substantially correct. The results are substantially correct. Note that this guideline recommends that you avoid the unnecessary hedge. In other words, it’s not always possible to make black-orwhite pronouncements of truth. There are shades of gray that often require us to hedge, or qualify what we say. You’ll occasionally find “generally” and “usually” in this text. In my opinion, it may be that not all my declarations could possibly be unconditional, generally speaking. 5. Nouns or adjectives made from verbs—We often weaken our sentences and add unnecessary words by turning verbs into nouns or adjectives. Instead of saying we received the report, we turn the verb received into a noun, receipt, add more words, and come up with the weaker we are in receipt of the report. To illustrate further, we investigated is preferable to we conducted an investigation, and contamination caused the problem is preferable to contamination was the cause of the problem. Similarly, three people attended the meeting is better than three people were in attendance at the meeting, and the project depends on is preferable to the project is dependent on. As a related point, avoid the verb to be. Note that in the examples above, the original verb is often replaced by the verb to be—is or are. In the first example above, we received becomes we are in receipt of. In the phrase we received there’s action and the reader can visualize us receiving. By contrast, in the phrase we are in receipt of there’s nothing happening. Pick your verbs carefully— they’re the most important words in your sentence because they convey the action. Eliminating these five categories of clutter will make your writing more concise. Still, the best method for deleting unnecessary words

is to look at each word and ask if it can be omitted without changing the meaning of the sentence. To illustrate: We are currently in the process of reviewing all payments made to this company in an effort to screen, handle, and generally control these funds more effectively. In this regard, it would be appreciated if you would please complete and return the enclosed questionnaire no later than by November 4. If you should have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call me at Ext. 4843. We are reviewing payments to this company to control these funds more effectively. Please complete and return the enclosed questionnaire by November 4. If you have questions, call me at Ext. 4843. The English novelist Peter DeVries captured the satisfaction of deleting unnecessary words as follows: “When I see a sentence shrinking before my eyes like a strip of bacon in a skillet, I know I’m on the right track.”

4. Use the simple, familiar words you would use in conversation with your readers Choose words for your documents that you’d use in normal conversation with your reader. In the words of E. B. White in The Elements of Style, “Avoid the elaborate, the pretentious, the coy, and the cute. Don’t be tempted by a twenty-dollar word when there’s a ten-center handy, ready and able.” By using conversational words, you’ll also write more economically and avoid the wordiness we all fall into when we use fancy words. Here’s an example showing how words tend to multiply when a writer opts for a pompous tone. An unequivocal message will in most cases preclude the necessity of supplementary memoranda or phone calls with the attendant loss of time and effort. Clear messages save time.

The tendency to build verbal mountains out of molehill memos is not restricted to writers in business, nor is it a new phenomenon. Franklin D. Roosevelt and presidents since have tried to translate into simple language the bureaucratic memos composed in “Washington bafflegab.” Roosevelt was outraged by this blackout order of 1942: “Such preparations shall be made as will completely obscure all Federal buildings and non-Federal buildings occupied by the Federal government during an air raid for any period of time from visibility by reason of internal or external illumination.” “Tell them,” Roosevelt said, “that in buildings where they have to keep the work going to put something across the windows.” Your primary task as a writer is to make it as easy as possible for your readers to understand what you’re saying. Simple words make for easy understanding. As writers and readers, we’re most comfortable with the familiar words we use when we speak. And simple words don’t get in the way of our message. As some wag once said, “Big words name little things. All big things have little names, such as life and death, peace and war, or dawn, day, night, hope, love, home. Learn to use little words in a big way; they say what you mean. But when you don’t know what you mean, use big words—that often fools little people.” On the following page is a list of $20 words that all of us see in business writing. The list is not comprehensive, and I’m not suggesting that you never use these words. They’ve all become part of the vocabulary of our daily lives. If you find, however, that your writing feels pompous and overwritten, consider substituting some of these big words with their simpler substitutes. As Mark Twain observed, “I never write ‘metropolis’ for seven cents a word because I get the same price for ‘city’.” When we use the ten-cent words, our writing is conversational and understandable. If we rely on the $20 alternatives, our writing becomes impersonal, bureaucratic, and unreadable.

As further guidelines, make your writing more conversational by using personal pronouns—I, we, us, you. Say as we discussed instead of as per our discussion, and as you requested instead of as per your request. Using the personal pronouns will also avoid the passive constructions, such as it is recommended, it was observed, it was decided, rather than I recommend, and so forth. Avoid Latin expressions, such as i.e. and e.g. Use instead their English equivalents: that is and for example. The abbreviations may be appropriate in a graduate school thesis, but not in business and technical writing. Etc. is a lazy way of ending a list, as in “There are many reasons I should be promoted: performance, etc.” Etc. simply says that you could only think of one or two reasons, but are pretending there are many more. As for jargon, its use is appropriate if the idea it conveys is clear and readable. Jargon is really shoptalk. When it’s understood by the reader, it can be a simpler and more economical way of saying something that might otherwise require a lengthy explanation. $20 Words & Phrases           Alternatives Accomplish                                        Do Adjacent to                                         Near, next to Advise                                                 Tell Alleviate                                             Relieve, improve Alteration                                           Change Anticipate                                           Expect Ascertain                                            Determine Attached please find                           Attached is Commence                                          Begin, start Concur                                                Agree Concurrently                                       At the same time Considerable                                       Large Deleterious                                         Harmful Endeavor                                             Try Enhance                                              Improve

Execute                                               Sign Exhibit                                                Show Expedite                                              Speed up, rush Expend                                                Spend Expenditure                                        Cost, expense Fabricate                                             Make Favorable consideration                     Approval Finalize                                               Complete Generate                                             Prepare, produce Impact (as a verb)                               Affect Inception                                             Beginning Initiate                                                Begin, start Inquiry                                                Question Mitigate                                              Lessen, improve Perusal                                                Review Procure                                               Get, purchase Rationale                                            Reason, basis Remediate                                           Correct, repair Remittance                                         Payment Request (as a verb)                             Ask Requisite                                             Required Substantial                                          Large Terminate                                           End, stop Utilize                                                 Use

5. Keep the verb at the beginning of the sentence and use the active voice Throughout this book, I’ve emphasized that you should present your information in descending order of importance. In other words, begin a communication, or any section of a communication, with your most important information. In a document, you put your Position at the beginning, ideally in the first sentence of the second paragraph. When you address an Issue,

you put the Conclusion of the Issue at the outset. In a paragraph, you put the topic sentence at the beginning. Likewise, even in the smallest unit of complete written expression— the sentence—you put the most important information—the verb—at the beginning. That is where the emphasis falls in a sentence, and you want it to fall on the action. Any other arrangement makes a mystery story of your sentences. If you withhold the verb until the end of the sentence, your readers won’t know the meaning until the last word or two. To illustrate: A final report on linings for multijet flare stacks, discussing all the aspects of these linings and the results of laboratory tests to determine resistance to steam buildup under high temperature conditions and water absorption characteristics, has been prepared. The Engineering Department has prepared a final report on linings for multijet flare stacks. It discusses… The other issue in sentence composition that this principle addresses is the use of the active voice versus the passive voice. The first sentence in the example above is written in the passive voice—as is this sentence. In the revised sentence, I’ve used the active voice—as I have in this sentence, as well. The simple sentence, “The manager wrote the report,” uses the active voice and follows the normal order of the English sentence. Not only is this order easy to read, it’s also easy to write. Examining this sentence, we see that it consists of a subject, the manager, an object, the report, separated by the verb, wrote. Because the beginning of a sentence receives the stress, you can emphasize the object of an action by turning this order around and using the passive voice: “The report was written by the manager.” The result is not as smooth as the active voice and it follows a sequence we’d seldom use in speech. We wouldn’t say, for example, “My first trip to California will always be remembered by me.”

Certainly, “I’ll always remember my first trip to California” is more conversational. But after years of training in school and business, business professionals frequently write in the passive voice. You can distinguish the active voice from the passive voice by the placement of the subject, or the one who performs the action. In the active voice, the one who performs the action, the manager, is placed before the verb, wrote. In the passive voice, the one who performs the action appears after the verb in a prepositional phrase beginning with by—“The report was written by the manager.” The primary difference between active and passive voice is that the passive voice places greater emphasis on the action completed, rather than on who performed the action. In fact, passive voice enables us to speak about something that has happened without even mentioning who do it. We can say, for example, that a mistake was made, without having to say who was responsible for the mistake. For this reason, passive voice serves an important function in organizational communication. It enables us to write and speak about events without assigning blame or taking responsibility. Passive voice is appropriate, furthermore, when the action is more important than who performed the action. For example, agreements are reached, a change is announced, awards are given, promotions are awarded, restructuring is undertaken, an initiative is launched. In most cases, to include who was responsible for each of these actions would be to include superfluous information. Technical and scientific writers tend to overuse the passive voice, however, because of the emphasis that scientific method places on letting the “facts speak for themselves.” People in business may also interpret passive voice as representing a lack of conviction or confidence. Passive voice can also convey vagueness, evasiveness, or reluctance to assign or assume responsibility. Research shows, furthermore, that people take longer to understand the meaning of a sentence written in passive voice.

Therefore, be aware of the differences between active and passive voice, and use the active voice, unless you have a clear reason to use the passive voice. Active voice is generally stronger, clearer, and easier to read. The following rewrite of a familiar nursery rhyme illustrates the inappropriateness of the passive voice for some types of communication. The ascent of the hill was carried out by Jack and Jill In order for a pail of water to be fetched by them. A downward fall was undergone by Jack and a breakage of his crown was experienced. An additional fall or tumbling was subsequently undergone by Jill.

Applying the Five Guidelines for Sentences Like the principles for paragraphs, there’s a recommended order for applying the five guidelines to your sentences. 1. Begin by omitting the unnecessary words. You won’t be able to decide if the sentences are too long until you determine if all the words are necessary. 2. Then consider sentence length. When a sentence is three lines or more, count the number of ideas or verbs in the sentence. Will it be clearer and easier to read if you break it into two or more sentences? 3. Finally, check for fancy words, for passive voice, and for verbs buried at the end of your sentences.

The Editor’s Acid Test: Read Your Document Out Loud The nine principals for editing your paragraphs and sentences are a complete checklist for making your writing clear and concise. One last step in the editing process, however, will ensure that your document is ready to send—read it out loud.

If you find yourself gasping midway through your sentences, you know they’re too long. If your ear tells you the sentences are all the same length, insert a shorter or a longer sentence for variety. If the ideas seem disjointed, give your writing more flow by using connectives and repeating words and ideas from sentence to sentence. Finally, if you have an especially important communication, read it to a colleague. If they stop you at any point with a question, it’s your problem as the writer. Ultimately, the test of effective business and technical writing is whether it reads well out loud. Joan Didion, who is considered one of the finest prose stylists of the last twenty-five years, has written in The Year of Magical Thinking, “I never actually learned the rules of grammar, relying instead only on what sounded right.” Sounds like good advice for any writer.

The first piece of advice is this: to achieve style, begin by affecting none—that is, place yourself in the background. E. B. WHITE

13. Style After a While Like any skill, writing has its fundamentals and its refinements. This book has focused on fundamentals, presenting guidelines to help you define and structure your message. In the refinement stage you learn to convey your message in a way that expresses your individuality as a writer. It’s your choice of words, the construction of your sentences, and the manner in which you express yourself in writing that determine your style. An appropriate style in business writing should promote your purpose and not obscure your message. As E. B. White advised in The Elements of Style, “Write in a way that draws the reader’s attention to the sense and substance of the writing, rather than to the mood or temper of the author. If the writing is solid and good, the mood and temper of the writer will eventually be revealed, and not at the expense of the work.” Style cannot be learned overnight. It’s developed only through practice, over time. And the best first step toward developing your style is to read The Elements of Style. The 21 “reminders” in the last chapter form the best short course on writing style to be found. White, who wrote this chapter, was a master stylist. He taught not only by what he said, but how he said it. Although you may not use a similar metaphor in your next e-mail, appreciate White’s vivid style in Reminder 8: “Avoid the use of qualifiers. Rather, very, little, pretty—these are the leeches that infest the pond of prose, sucking the blood of words.” Clear expression is itself a distinctive style. Apply the principles in this book and your writing will have a style that distinguishes itself by its persuasiveness, its directness, and its clarity.

Writing is architecture, not interior design. ERNEST HEMINGWAY

14. Highlighting Your Argument with Formatting Everyone in business these days is confronted with a daily avalanche of information, especially in the form of e-mail. As a result, we all have to decide what we’re going to read now and what we’ll try to get to later. Under these circumstances, even before we get to the message, we’re often deciding what we’re going to read based on two criteria: 1. How urgent is the subject?—Does it grab my attention? Is it informative? 2. How readable is the message?—Do I feel like reading a message, just by looking at it? The very look of an e-mail can make it attractive to read, or not. Is there a list that helps me grasp the main points? Are there sideheadings to help me navigate the detail? If you want your correspondence to be read, incorporate the suggestions discussed below into your routine communications. Compose your Subject lines with care, and make effective use of lists and sideheadings, even in e-mails. The chapter also includes guidelines for when to use parentheses, bold, underlining, or italic text, and how to appropriately format numbers. Finally, the chapter concludes with a memo I’ve written to you about guidelines for laying out your documents. The way you format your argument shouldn’t be an afterthought. It’s an essential component for helping readers to navigate the structure and flow of your communication.

Subjects That Get Your Readers’ Attention Good Subject lines are like good headlines—not only do they tell what your document is about, they also command readers’ attention.

Effective Subjects are especially important in e-mail. They often determine whether readers will read your message. To write effective Subjects, you have to do more than identify the topic of your correspondence. Make your Subjects explicit. In four to seven words, tell your readers precisely what your correspondence is about. State the specific problem to be discussed or, even better, give the gist of your Position. To illustrate, here’s a subject that only identifies the area discussed. It’s just a file reference. Subject: Gamma Logging in the Natuna Boreholes This subject is made more interesting when it announces the specific problem discussed. Subject: Need for Gamma Logging in the Natuna Boreholes Putting action into the subject and conveying the Position makes it even more informative. Subject: Proposal to Perform Gamma Logging in the Natuna Boreholes or Subject: Gamma Logging in the Natuna Boreholes—Recommended Composing your Subject to make it explicit only takes a little thought. When you formulate your Position before you outline the rest of your document, you have the beginnings of your Subject. Trim that Position to between four and seven words and make it your Subject. Another strategy is to compose your Subject only after you’ve written your message. That way, you can be even more certain that your Subject actually captures the intent of your communication. The result is more likely to get your readers’ attention and persuade them to read your communication in detail. If possible, put a verb in your Subject line—Recommended, Needed, Requested—or an adjective—Feasible, Sufficient, Qualified—that

communicates the action or understanding that you’re advocating. And keep that Subject short, especially since your reader’s smart phone or e-mail server may limit the length of Subject lines. Using the active voice is one sure way to save space. When composing Subject lines for correspondence about projects, use the Project Name: Action format. In other words, identify the project you’re writing about in the first part of the Subject, using a project title for easier identification, when possible, rather than a project number. Then describe the Position you’re advocating in a short phrase. So, for example, the Subject of an e-mail about an engineering project might look like this: Waterville Bridge Project: Construction Drawings Needed by Monday. Finally, be sure to change the Subject of an e-mail when the topic of a threaded discussion changes. Changing the Subject alerts your readers to the change in topic, and enables them to more easily find the e-mail at a later date.

Sideheadings for More Readable Documents Sideheadings are Subjects for the sections of a communication. They’re often underlined, bolded, or italicized. They’re usually one to six words long. Sideheadings improve the clarity and readability of your documents. You have an example above this paragraph. To compose an effective sideheading, ask yourself, “What am I going to say in the next few paragraphs?” Then use your answer as your sideheading. For wording your sideheadings, apply the principles described above for composing Subjects. In the same way that paragraphs signal a change in topic, sideheadings likewise notify your readers that you’re changing from one major topic to another or moving from one section of your document to another. Use two sideheadings per single-spaced page to break up the text of documents that are more than a page. Sideheadings can be used in any of the following instances:

1. To separate the Opening Statement from the Body and the Body from the Summing Up; 2. To identify each Issue, Conclusion, or Recommendation discussed in the Body; 3. To identify important elements covered in longer Opening Statements, such as Essential Background or Methodology. Although sideheadings are used most frequently in formal documents of more than one page, they can be useful in e-mails and short documents, as well. E-mail is most effective for discussing one topic. When you must address several issues or more complex information, however, use sideheadings to help your readers navigate the details. Introduce the topics you’ll discuss at the beginning of your e-mail or memo. If possible, summarize your Position and Conclusions for each topic. Then, in the Body of your message, use sideheadings to show your readers where the discussion of each topic begins and ends. That way, readers can more easily skim your message, reading those parts that are most important to them.

Lists for Highlighting Information The purpose of listing points is to explain or persuade by classifying ideas in a way that is easy to grasp and remember. Our attention naturally gravitates toward lists in anything we read, because we expect to find important or summary information there. But we often misuse numbered and bulleted lists. Under the pressure of time, we use them as a lazy way to give our memos the appearance of structure where none in fact exists. Instead of organizing our points in a well-conceived, coherent order, we list information randomly, hoping the facts will speak for themselves. Or we bullet every paragraph, effectively highlighting nothing. As a result, we waste our readers’ time. Hoping to find a logical presentation of information, they discover instead that they must make sense of the information themselves.

Seven principles ensure effective lists. 1. Introduce a list with a sentence or two that explains its purpose. Don’t assume that readers will understand what the information in the list is for. Be explicit about why you’re setting the information apart as a list. At the very least, make a simple statement of the purpose of the list. For example: “The training will give us the following three benefits:” In this way, you tell readers what you’re going to tell them in the list. 2. Include items of the same classification. Don’t mix different categories of information in the same list. Separate advantages from disadvantages, Conclusions from Recommendations, causes from effects, past from present, and apples from oranges. Failure to sort your information into appropriate categories results in lists that are incoherent and confusing. 3. Use parallel construction. Points in a list must exhibit parallel construction—that is, they must have the same grammatical form and begin with the same part of speech. If the first point in a list is a complete sentence, every subsequent point must be a complete sentence. If the first point begins with a verb, every other point in the list must begin with a verb. Parallel construction establishes consistency in the way ideas and information are presented, and thereby increases the speed with which readers can read and understand a list. If a point in a list cannot be phrased in the same form as the preceding point, it’s probably a different classification of information and should be removed from the list. To illustrate, suppose a list of the four communication problems caused by poor delegation looked like this: “Managers fail to:

1. 2. 3. 4.

Set specific project goals Establish time frames Require regular reporting Sales forecasts are not prepared on a timely basis.”

Item 4 doesn’t begin with a verb and, therefore, breaks the parallel construction of the list. Since it cannot be expressed in the same form as the first three items, it’s a different classification of idea and shouldn’t be part of this listing. In fact, item 4 is an example of the problems associated with item 3. 4. Limit lists to five points, break long lists into shorter sublists. The purpose of a list is to simplify information so that it’s easier to understand, or to highlight relationships between items in the list. When more than five points appear in a list, however, it’s doubtful your readers will be able to absorb or recall all the points. Furthermore, if you can’t persuade your reader with five points, an additional three or four probably won’t clinch your case either. And, if you have more than five points in a list, it’s likely that some belong to a different class of idea or duplicate other points in different words. Certain situations, however, call for lists of many items, such as lists of instructions, criteria, requirements, and the like. In such instances, break a long list into a series of shorter lists, giving each sub-list a title that describes the nature or function of that aspect of the larger task or set of items. Lists of instructions in computer documentation, for example, often contain many more than five points. If you have a list of 20 steps needed to perform a task, divide the task and, therefore, the list, into several phases, each with a descriptive title and a maximum of five to seven steps in each phase. Organizing instructions in this way makes it easier for your readers to visualize the sequence of actions called for.

5. Number lists to prioritize, sequence, or reference items. Otherwise, use bullets. Whether you number or bullet a list will depend on its purpose. Numbered lists rank the listed items or indicate that they have a specific order. Bulleted lists merely set the items apart as a special grouping of information in which rank or order is not particularly important. Use numbered lists to: 1. Show the relative importance, hierarchy, or priority of the items in a list, such as in a list of supporting points that are ranked from most to least important. 2. Identify the order or sequence of listed items, such as in a list of steps in a procedure. 3. Identify items so they can be referenced later in a document, or in other correspondence or discussions. 6. Limit each item in a list to one line. Lists are most effective when each item fits on a single line. Identifying each listed item with a short phrase enables readers to skim the list and grasp the content and significance of the listed items. But sometimes items in a list need to be defined or explained, in which case each item must be accompanied by a sentence or even a brief paragraph of explanatory text. Here, lists begin to lose their utility, since it’s harder to see the listed items when they’re presented in paragraphs rather than mere phrases. An approach that maintains the simplicity of a list with the need for explanation is illustrated in the list above on when to use numbered lists. Begin each item in the list with a brief phrase that identifies the item, and highlight the phrase in bold, italics, or underlining. Then include the explanatory information in plain text, separated by a comma or dash.

In this way, readers can see the list by skimming the highlighted phrases, and they can read the accompanying explanations, if they need to. This approach preserves the utility of the list as a summary of information, together with the detail needed to fully understand each item in the list. 7. Limit lists to one level of bulleted or numbered points. Lists are an effective way to attract and guide readers’ attention because they provide a visual signal that the information they contain is important and will be easy to read and understand. Using more than one level of bullets or numbers, however, tends to undermine a list’s effectiveness. Lists with multiple levels are likely to repel, rather than attract, readers’ attention, because their visual appearance suggests detail and complexity that will require time and attention to understand. This is especially true when a list includes items labeled with lowercase letters (a, b, c, …) or Roman numerals (i, ii, iii, …), since these numbering schemes are particularly associated with complexity. Therefore, avoid multi-level lists, except in documentation, which often requires that detailed information be recorded systematically.

Parentheses (For What Purpose?) In general, avoid the use of parentheses, except for identifying acronyms, such as the American Society of Heating, Refrigerating and Air Conditioning Engineers (ASHRAE). Apart from their use with acronyms, parentheses convey a mixed message. They say, “Pay attention, this is unimportant information.” Information in parentheses is necessarily “parenthetical,” an aside, and hence unimportant. And yet, parentheses are a “hard” form of punctuation—they draw the attention so strongly that their content is difficult to ignore. Parentheses are often used, furthermore, as a lazy way of introducing additional ideas or information without integrating them with the surrounding material. Used in this way, parentheses

interrupt the flow of ideas, particularly when they appear in the middle of a sentence. Therefore, if the information in parentheses is important, include it as part of the sentence, rather than in parentheses. If it’s not important, leave it out. If the information defines a term or provides additional background, include it, but set it off with commas or dashes, types of punctuation that make it easier to ignore. Or include it as a separate sentence. The attention grabbing character of parentheses, however, makes them useful for identifying acronyms. If you’re reading a text and come across an acronym that you don’t recognize, its meaning is easily found by looking for its first instance, where it appears in parentheses after the term it refers to. So, tell me again, what does ASHRAE stand for?

Using Bold, Underlining, Italics For any purpose other than highlighting Subjects, sideheadings, and titles, use bold, underlining and italics sparingly. Rather than using text formatting to emphasize information, present important information prominently at the beginning of a sentence, the beginning of a paragraph, the beginning of a document. In other words, use the structure of your argument, rather than visual effects, to highlight information you want your readers to notice. Bold, underlining, and italics are frequently used in e-mails to ensure that readers don’t miss significant information. This use of text formatting is usually an indication that important information is in the wrong place, such as at the end of a message, and that the email needs to be reorganized. Once you’re certain that your message is well-organized, then bold, italics, or underlining can be an effective way to draw readers’ attention to the date, time, and location of a meeting, or the title of a project or a report.

Formatting Numbers

Strictly speaking, there are conventions for presenting numbers in a document, which you’re free to observe, or not, depending on the formality of your communication. Generally, numbers one through ten are spelled out, unless they’re dollar amounts, such as $3. Numbers 11 through 999,999 are usually presented as numerals. For round millions, “one” through “ten” are usually spelled out and thereafter numerals are used before the word “million”—as in 11 million. However, sums in the millions that are not rounded to the nearest million are presented as numerals, such as 1,798,426, or possibly 1.8 million. And above all, avoid the construction “one (1)” unless you have exceptional readers who may not recognize the English word “one” but are familiar with the Arabic numeral “1.”

Suggestions for Document Layout TO:                  Readers of Organizing Ideas FROM:            Matthew Spence SUBJECT:      Guidelines for Document Layout I’m frequently asked in business writing programs, “What is the appropriate layout of a memo?” “What typeface should I use?” “What size margins are appropriate?” “Should I use justified right margins?” [What Prompts Your Document Now]. These are important concerns because the appearance of your memo will often determine whether your readers take the time to read what you have to say [Importance of Subject]. In laying out your documents, I suggest you follow the general guidelines listed below [Position]. Although departmental or company policy may require a different layout [Limitation], these guidelines can make your memos more readable [Conclusion] and they reflect the findings of the Document Design Project funded by the National Institute of Education [Sources of Data]. 1. Provide margins of one inch on either side of your text. This will result in a readable line length of six and a half inches.

2. Margins at the top and bottom of your page should also be one inch, if possible, although it’s often worth sacrificing some white space here to keep important information on the first page. 3. Indent the first line of each paragraph to vary the appearance of your text. 4. Avoid “justified margins,” which   often    creates            gaps    between           words   and    periods,  making   the   text       more    difficult  to  read. 5. For printed documents, use a 12-point serif typeface, such as this Times New Roman typeface, rather than a 9-point typeface like this, which is much too small. 6. For e-mail and other electronic documents, use a sans serif typeface, such as this 10-point Arial typeface. [Recommendations]. Whenever possible, limit your memos to one page and put nonessential information in attachments (see Attachment). And to master the art of composing effective documents, follow the guidelines on the Spence & Company Guide to Decision-Oriented Communication and practice (tell them what you’re going to say), practice (say it), and practice (tell them what you have said) [Recommendations]. Attachment—Guidelines for Layout of Documents                                           Page 2 If this memo required Data for each of the Recommendations listed above in the Opening Statement, you’d list them in concise accounts here and then address them with Data under appropriate sideheadings. And the list would look like this: “These guidelines cover (1) size of margins, (2) indentation, (3) justified margins, and (5) size of typefaces. Each of these matters is addressed below.”

Size of Margins Blah. . . . Blah. . . . And blah. . . .

Indentation Blah. . . . Blah . . . And blah and so on. *          *          *          * As a final note, you need not provide a Summing Up at the end of your attachment because your readers are not expected to read the entire attachment—they read only the Data they need. Therefore, a closing is unnecessary.

Keep it simple. The more you say, the less people remember. CHINESE FORTUNE COOKIE

15. Presentations—The Same Principles Apply Now that we’ve discussed the principles for planning, composing, and editing written documents, we have everything we need to create effective presentations. And I say “everything” because, in fact, the same principles that apply to clear writing should also be used to prepare presentations, design readable and attractive slides, and deliver presentations with confidence and poise. When preparing presentations, people tend to make the same mistake they make when writing documents—they don’t plan what they’re going to say. They dive right in to creating their slides. The typical result, as we all know, is a poorly organized presentation with too many slides that bores the audience. Therefore, the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas, or the Worksheet for Organizing Presentations, which you’ll find at the end of Business Writing: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, should be used to determine what information you need to include in your presentation and the best order in which to present it. Using either of the Worksheets to define your message will save time preparing slides because you’ll only create those slides that specifically support what you’re going to say. A clear message provides the basis for good slide design, furthermore, because it makes it easier to select just enough information for each slide to hold your listeners’ attention, and to remind you of the points you want to make. Finally, only the clarity of your message will give you the confidence and free attention to practice the skills of good delivery—making eye contact with your audience, pausing to breathe and collect your thoughts, moving and speaking naturally. No training in these presentation skills alone can compensate for a message that is muddled or that you can’t remember.

In this way, the principles of clear communication that we’ve applied so far to business writing also apply in every respect to planning, designing, and delivering speeches and presentations. Which is not surprising, of course, since the principles are all derived from the discipline of rhetoric, which was originally developed to teach public speaking. With these general points in mind, let’s examine in detail how to use the principles of effective communication to prepare, design, and deliver an effective presentation.

Common Problems with Presentations When was the last time you attended a presentation and asked yourself one or more of the questions below? Just as Chapter 1 described the errors that lead to poor communication in writing, the following questions, inspired in part by the work of presentation coach Jerry Weissman, point to similar sources of poor communication in presentations. 1. What’s the point?—No clear Position. 2. How did we get here?—No clear flow to the argument. 3. What’s in it for me?—The benefit to the audience is not clear. 4. Do I really need to know all this?—Too detailed. 5. How much longer?—Too long. The first two problems above are variations on the Mystery Story approach we frequently encounter in business writing. The third problem is the failure to think about our listeners and tailor our message to their interests. The last two problems—Too detailed and Too long—can be particularly problematic in presentations. Presenters have a limited time to get audience attention and make their point. Therefore, effectively managing time and the quantity of information in a presentation are critical to its success. Otherwise, the detail and length of a presentation can quickly exhaust listeners’ patience.

Just as bad presentations typically commit the same errors as poor writing, effective presentations adhere to the same principles as effective writing. The The The The

Position is clear. benefit to the audience is unmistakable. message has a logical structure that is easy to follow. audience can understand the ideas without having to work.

Crafting a presentation that has these characteristics is accomplished by using the same structure of argumentation discussed earlier in the book. Let’s review how that structure applies to presentations.

Good Presentations Have the Same Structure as Good Writing Our discussion of good business writing used terms to identify the elements of an effective argument—Position, Issues, Data, Conclusions, and Recommendations—and the parts of a document— Opening Statement, Body, Summing Up. These terms are used in writing a document to create a plan for what you’re going to say. In a similar fashion, Position, Issues, Data, Conclusions, and Recommendations also define the elements of a spoken communication, and should be used as a checklist for defining your message. All the elements on the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas should be considered for inclusion in a presentation. When planning a presentation, just change the question What Prompts Your Document Now? to Why Are We Here?. Similarly, the Opening Statement—Body—Summing Up structure is the necessary structure of all spoken communication. That threepart structure provides an audience with a sequence of information that is easy to follow, and regular reminders of where the speaker is in the presentation of ideas. By organizing your presentation into an Opening Statement—Body— Summing Up structure, you can also adapt a talk to the needs of any audience. Plan to present a summary of your message in no more

than 20 minutes. Then, if your listeners have questions or want more information, use a handout or a second set of slides to discuss more detail about your Data, Conclusions, or Recommendations. Finally, be prepared to close with a summary of your message, accompanied by slides if necessary. So far, our principles for effective written communication all apply to organizing a spoken message that listeners can easily follow and understand. Let’s look now at how planning your presentation before you create your slides will accomplish several important tasks, and save you time.

Start by Defining Your Message As mentioned earlier, the most common mistake people make when preparing a presentation is creating slides before they’ve determined exactly what they want to say. There are several drawbacks to preparing a presentation by starting with your slides. First, slideware is better suited to preparing visual aids than it is to crafting a message. In slideware, you have to compose your message one slide at a time, as opposed to composing on paper or a word processor, where you can see your whole message as you write it. And, as anyone with experience knows, if you start by preparing slides, you can spend so much time futzing with them that you leave yourself no time to rehearse what you’re going to say. Planning your presentation before you create your slides, on the other hand, makes for more effective presentations in several ways. When you start your preparation by composing your message, you separate what you’re going to say from what you put on your slides. As a result, you’ll save time preparing slides by creating only the slides you’ll need to support your message. And each slide will contain just enough information to hold people’s attention, and remind you of each point you’ll discuss. That way, you’re the presentation, as the saying goes, not your slides.

Your presentation is more likely, furthermore, to have a coherent logic and narrative flow, because you’ll have prepared it as a single continuum of ideas and information, rather than as separate elements, created one slide at a time. In addition, when you start by preparing your message, the rest of the preparation process becomes part of rehearsing your message and the flow of your ideas. Finally, the simplicity and clarity of your ideas, expressed in as few words as possible, will give your presentations an elegant, uncluttered look and feel. Therefore, the best way to prepare a presentation is to start by writing an outline. Even better, write a one-page summary from your outline that will serve as the script for your talk. Preparing an outline and a summary will enable you to determine exactly what information you’ll include in your presentation and the best order in which to present it—before you create your slides. You can also use a one-page summary of your talk as a handout, or a complete narrative of your ideas to send someone when they ask for a copy of your slide deck. To communicate effectively, your presentation should answer the following six questions: 1. Why are we here? 2. Why is it important? 3. What’s the agenda? 4. What is your Position? 5. What are your supporting points or reasons (Issues and Conclusions)? 6. What do you want your audience to do next (Recommendations)? To prepare your outline, begin by identifying your Position—what you want your audience to do or believe as a result of your presentation. Knowing exactly the effect you want your presentation to have on your audience is critical to its success.

Then, brainstorm your Issues and Conclusions—the points and information you’ll use to support your Position. Sort and consolidate these supporting ideas using Post-it notes, just as you would when identifying these elements for written communication. Finally, define your Recommendations—what you want to happen as a result of your presentation. What will you do and what do you want your listeners to do to further your Position?

Prepare a Strong Opening… Now that you’ve defined the central argument of your message, plan how you’ll open your presentation. Knowing exactly how you’ll begin your talk will give you the confidence you need at the start. And any self-assurance you develop at the beginning can often carry you through the rest of your talk. Creating an effective opening for your presentation begins with composing a title that will capture your audience’s attention. This is easily accomplished by summarizing in four to seven words what you want your audience to do or what they will learn or understand as a result of your presentation. Now consider what you’ll say. Your first words should set context and appeal to people’s self-interest by telling them what’s in it for them. Begin by reminding your audience what prompts your presentation, which is to say, why they’ve come to hear you speak. Stating “Why we’re here” focuses attention on you and your topic, and creates the context for what you’re about to say. Once you have people’s attention, appeal to their interest and needs—tell them why they need to hear what you have to say. Finally, your opening should tell your listeners how you intend to discuss your topic and how long your presentation will last. By sharing with the audience how you plan to discuss your topic, you enable them to relax and let you take charge of their time and attention for the duration of the talk.

What I’ve just described is a very serviceable opening that will accomplish all the necessary tasks—telling your audience what you intend to discuss, why it’s important, and how long it will take. If you feel obliged to entertain your audience, however, you may want to draw on more oratorical technique. Polished speakers often use one of the devices in the following list to grab audience attention during the opening minutes of a talk: 1. Question. A question directed at the members of the audience. 2. Fact. A striking statistic or little-known piece of information. 3. Quotation. A provocative consideration from someone known or unknown that either endorses or anticipates the relevance of your idea. 4. Aphorism. A familiar saying that stimulates reflection. 5. A look backward or forward. A perspective on the present that creates context for your remarks. Presentation coach Bert Decker makes these techniques easy to remember by calling them “SHARP” tools. They work not only for getting an audience’s attention at the beginning of a talk, but also for holding their attention throughout your presentation. And they help to cultivate the feeling that you’re having a dialogue, even with a large group. S – Stories and examples. Stories are the oldest and most reliable aids a speaker has for holding interest. H – Humor. Keep it light. Use humor to generate rapport and positive energy, not belly laughs. A – Analogies. Make unfamiliar concepts understandable by comparing them to something people already understand. R – References and quotations. Strengthen your message by citing an independent source of information. P – Pictures and visual aids. A spoken message that is reinforced visually has more impact and credibility than a spoken message alone.

Incorporate two or three SHARP tools into any talk for maximum effect. Used effectively, even one of these elements can make a talk memorable. For more about SHARP tools, see You’ve Got to Be Believed to Be Heard, by Burt Decker. Other books in the Presentations section of the bibliography also discuss artful ways to begin a presentation.

… And a Strong Closing In addition to a strong beginning, the other anchor of a good presentation is a deliberate closing, or Summing Up, that will move people to act on your Position and Recommendations. Whereas a Summing Up is not always necessary in a piece of writing, it’s critical in a presentation. The final words of a presentation do more than remind your audience of what you’ve said. Your closing remarks are the last thing people will hear, and therefore what they’re most likely to remember. They end your talk the way a crescendo brings closure to a piece of music. Without an effective conclusion, you leave your audience hanging. They will feel that something is missing. In addition to reviewing the key points of your presentation, a closing usually needs to move your listeners to action by appealing to their feelings about your topic. Consider how you’ll speak directly to your audience and garner their support for your Recommendations or point of view. Once you’ve made your final pitch, you can simply drop your hands and say, “Thank you.”

Finalize Your Plan As a final step in preparing your message, consider additional information you may need to tell your audience that will enable them to fully understand the action or point of view you’re advocating. Just as in a document, you may need to discuss the background of your topic, for example, or define important terms. And you may

need to explain how you obtained your Data, Assumptions you’ve made, and the Limitations of your Conclusions and Recommendations. Once you’ve defined your message on the Worksheet, write a onepage summary of what you intend to say. Doing this accomplishes two tasks. First, your summary will serve as your script—the essential message you want your audience to remember after your talk. By defining your message as the first step in preparing a presentation, every additional step you take in finalizing your presentation will help you rehearse in your mind what you’ll eventually say. Second, your summary can also serve as a handout, or as the basis for one. A handout that gives a complete summary of your argument or point of view is a more effective takeaway than merely giving people a copy of your slides. Alternately, if you copy your script into the Notes section of your slideshow, the file you send people won’t just contain slides, but also the narrative that gives them meaning. And if you don’t think you have time to outline your presentation before preparing your slides, read on.

Composing Slides Automatically from an Outline If you’ve followed the previous guidelines for preparing a presentation, you should at this point have a well-defined message, either in the form of an outline or a one-page summary. All this planning becomes especially worthwhile when you know how to use a feature in Microsoft PowerPoint that enables you to create a slide deck from your outline in Microsoft Word. Your outline in Word should contain two levels—a top level for your headlines, and a second level for details or supporting points. If you’re uncomfortable writing outlines, edit the one-page summary of your presentation, stripping each paragraph down to its barest elements: a topic sentence plus the supporting points comprising the detail in each paragraph. You’ll use each paragraph as the basis for one slide. The topic sentence of each paragraph will serve as the

headline of a slide, and the supporting points in the body of the paragraph as the basis for a bulleted list. When you’re satisfied with your outline, apply the “Heading 1” style to your headlines, or the top level of your outline, and the “Heading 2” style to your supporting points. Save and close the document. Now, in PowerPoint 2010, click on the New Slide button on the Home tab, which will open a dropdown menu. Select the Slides from Outline option at the bottom of the box, which opens the Insert Outline dialog box. In the Insert Outline dialog box, select the Word file that contains your outline. PowerPoint will then import your outline, creating a separate slide for each headline and its supporting points. In PowerPoint 2007, the New Slide option is on the Home button with the Windows logo. In PowerPoint 2003 or any version equipped with menus instead of a Ribbon, select the Slides from Outline command on the Insert menu to open the Insert Outline dialog box. If you’re importing an outline into a presentation template provided by your company, the template’s background and text formatting will be automatically applied to each slide. If you’re working without a template, select all slides in the left-hand panel in Normal view, and apply formatting and colors to backgrounds and text. Background and text formatting can also be applied using PowerPoint themes. The result? You’ve planned what you’ll say in your presentation, and created your slides.

Will Storytelling Improve Your Presentations? One of the current recommendations in the literature on presentation skills is that people use techniques of storytelling to make their business messages more engaging and their presentation style more dynamic. The idea is that presenters use the dramatic tension inherent in the classic story structure—Situation / Complication / Resolution—to structure presentations. For a

sophisticated exposition of this approach, see Resonate: Present Visual Stories That Transform Audiences, by Nancy Duarte. Whereas I agree that storytelling can be a powerful tool of persuasion, storytelling is also the problem with many presentations. Many people use storytelling as a basic technique for solving problems, and to figure out what they want to say. And, as discussed in Chapter 1 on communication strategies, most people don’t just tell stories when they write or speak, they tell Mystery Stories—the critical information, the answer you’re really looking for, is at the end. If, for example, you ask me why manufacturing isn’t meeting its productivity targets, the simplest way to answer your question is to tell you a story. “Well, we found out last fall that… So, we asked Chuck to look into… Since then, we have tried…” And so it goes in countless e-mails, memos, letters, reports, and presentations. At the end of a sometimes interminable recounting of the “facts,” the author or speaker presents their Conclusions and Recommendations. It’s important to appreciate, furthermore, that storytelling is a literary and theatrical art form whose primary purpose is to stir emotions and motivate people. In stories, “the facts” are of entirely secondary importance. Therefore, storytelling has very specific uses in business, such as in marketing and in sales pitches, investment road shows, and product launches. In these types of communications, the objective is to dazzle and excite the audience, usually to sell something, without too much concern for the harsh light of reality. But not every business presentation calls for this approach. Whereas stories are great for getting things started—opening a business, launching a product, kicking off a change initiative—they’re not always as effective for maintaining what you’ve started. Most routine business presentations—quarterly reviews, project proposals and status updates, explanations of business plans, and the like— don’t, in fact, call for storytelling. What most management

presentations require are persuasive arguments, which have a structure that is different from stories. Whereas stories have a Beginning, a Middle, and an End, arguments, as you now know, require an Opening Statement, a Body, and a Summing Up. The Opening Statement isn’t just the beginning of a story, it gives your audience a complete summary of the argument you’ll make in your presentation. The Body isn’t designed to create dramatic tension, like the middle portion of a story; it presents the details or Data that support your point of view. And finally, the Summing Up is not just the happy resolution to your story, it reviews what you’ve said and presents your call to action. If we were to frame arguments in the language of stories, we could say that in business there’s one primary story form, and that is “We should DO this, for these REASONS, and, if you agree with me, these are the NEXT STEPS.” Or, if you’re not in a position to advocate action, the story becomes, “I believe this is WHAT IS HAPPENING, for these REASONS, and, if you agree with me, these are the NEXT STEPS.” Therefore, presenters should not only study storytelling techniques, but how to construct a persuasive argument, as well. Within a logical structure of ideas and information, telling a good story can be used as a tool of persuasion that adds detail and creates human interest through an example. Whether you craft your presentations as stories or not, be sure that every presentation makes a concise and well-conceived argument that tells the audience WHAT you want them to do or believe, WHY, and if they agree with you, WHAT’S NEXT.

Designing Slides Once you’ve decided what you’re going to say, then you’re ready to prepare your slides. The current recommendation in slide design is that each slide should consist of a picture and three to five words. No bullets. While this

minimalist approach to slide deign is meant to correct the common mistake of putting too much information on slides, it’s not always practical. Management presentations, for example, often need to explain complex ideas and the relationships between them, which can’t always be done in three to five words. A more universal set of principles for slide design begins with the understanding that: People can’t read and listen at the same time. Your audience shouldn’t have to work to understand your slides. The best slides are often meaningless without the accompanying narration. These principles of effective communication mean that you should: Only put enough information on each slide to capture the essence of a topic. Eliminate unnecessary words, checking each word to see if it can be left out without changing the meaning of the sentence or phrase.

Talk about the details of your topic, rather than putting that information on your slides. Keep in mind when preparing slides that a presentation deck is not a document. It’s a file of visual aids that illustrate a message you’ll speak and that help people follow your discussion, one idea at a time. Although principles of graphic design can help you create visually attractive slides, the foundation of good slide design is a clear message. Few things are more elegant than a good idea, wellexpressed. Once you get the wording right, you can use elements of graphic design to highlight your message. Therefore, start composing slides by choosing words that simply and clearly capture the essence of each idea. Use the principles for

editing in Chapter 12 to rigorously edit the contents of each slide, eliminating all unnecessary words. Put just enough information on each slide to remind you what to say and to hold your listeners’ attention, without telling them everything. In addition, think of each slide as a paragraph. Each slide should present one principal idea. The headline, like a topic sentence, should express that idea, preferably in the form of a Conclusion or Recommendation about the topic of each slide. That idea is then developed in a maximum of three to five points in the body of the slide. To test the coherence of your message, read the headlines of your presentation in sequence. They should capture the gist of the message you wish to convey. This is a good exercise to perform in Slide Sorter view in PowerPoint, where you can view all your slides in thumbnail format, and evaluate both their content and their visual effect. The following guidelines explain in detail how to minimize the content of your slides: 1. Don’t put anything on a slide that you will actually say. Use key words, phrases, and headlines on your slides, but not the sentences you’ll say. 2. Present one idea per slide. Spread complex ideas across several slides, unless you need to compare information side-by-side. 3. Each element on a slide should fit on one line. Minimize the time it takes to skim and understand the information on each slide. 4. Eliminate clutter. Slides should be simple enough to understand in 5 seconds or less. No superfluous information; only what contributes to understanding. The less clutter, the more effective your visual aids. 5. Font size should be at least 18 points. Your slides should be readable from the back of the room.

6. Limit slides to a headline and three to five supporting points. Avoid more than one level of bullets. Think “Evening News.” When an anchor presents the news, the accompanying visuals usually consist of a relevant picture and three to five words. 7. Use bumper slides. In longer presentations, insert title or “bumper” slides at the beginning of each section, like sideheadings in a document. 8. Don’t use animations just for the visual effect, or on every slide. Use animations and slide transitions only to support the discussion of your ideas, such as to reveal a series of points one at a time. 9. Use video and audio clips when appropriate. Embed them in your slideshow to illustrate a point. They create a change of pace and reengage listeners’ attention. 10. Avoid backgrounds that are distracting, unrelated to your topic, or that reduce the space available for your message. 11. Use high-quality graphics and photographs. Never stretch low-resolution photos to fit your layout—it will degrade the resolution even further. 12. Avoid the use of clip art and other cartoonish line art. People generally expect more sophisticated graphics than these.

Presentation Delivery Having prepared your message and designed your slides, you’re now ready to put everything together and deliver your presentation. The first challenge of effective delivery is overcoming the anxiety that speaking to an audience naturally creates. Everyone feels it, even the most experienced public speakers, especially the first time talking about a new topic. As M. F. Fensholt explains in The Francis Effect, people tend to experience two types of anxiety when giving presentations:

1. Content anxiety—Concern about whether you know your material well enough to remember and speak confidently about it. 2. Performance anxiety—Concern about whether you’ll be able to overcome the emotional and physiological reaction most people have to public speaking, and about your ability to speak clearly in a natural and relaxed manner. Performance anxiety can only be managed if you begin by addressing Content anxiety, as follows: 1. Content Anxiety. The only way to overcome anxiety about whether you’ll remember everything you want to say is to: a. Develop a clear, concise message that is easy to remember. A clear and concise message is the foundation of all the other delivery skills. It will give you the clarity of mind to present with confidence, and the free attention to practice all the other skills of effective delivery. b. Rehearse what you’re going to say by verbalizing it before the presentation, until you’re able to easefully and naturally express your ideas. Verbalization is not memorization. It’s formulating the actual phrases you’ll use to express what you want to say. Verbalizing is to speaking what drafting is to writing. Before giving your presentation, speak it in detail, out loud, to a colleague or two if possible, or to an empty room if necessary. Ideally, you’re ready to present when you can speak your presentation, without thinking, from the opening to the close. Talk your way through your argument, one element at a time. Pause, when necessary, to consult your notes. Although the pause may seem awkward to you, it will appear natural to your audience—they know you’re reading your notes to prepare what you’re going to say next. If you won’t be speaking to slides, use written notes to remind you of the points you want to make. Divide your notes into naturally

occurring blocks of text, one segment of your talk per page. Once you’re confident about the message you’re going to deliver, you have a foundation for managing whatever anxiety you may feel about speaking to a group. 2. Performance anxiety has two causes: a. It’s the natural result of our evolution as human beings. Standing alone in an open space, surrounded by a group of animals who are scrutinizing our every move is, in the state of nature, a situation of extreme threat. Clearly, we’re about to be attacked and eaten. b. A presentation is a monologue, and monologue is an unnatural act. All of us practice “public speaking” on a regular basis. We give opinions and espouse points of view to others, but almost exclusively in the context of dialogue in a group of one to five people. Standing before a group and holding forth, without interruption, for 20 minutes or more feels inherently unnatural. Therefore, to manage performance anxiety, we must first accept that it’s part of our nature as human beings to feel uncomfortable in that circumstance. So, don’t waste energy beating yourself up about it. Another key to managing performance anxiety is knowing exactly how you’re going to begin your talk and how you’ll close. Trying to wing it or think on your feet will only increase your anxiety. Make a plan and stick to it. If you can get off to a good start, it’s much easier to feel and sustain your confidence. If you stumble at the beginning, however, it can be difficult to recover. The art of giving a good presentation resides primarily in the ability to create the illusion of dialogue with a group of more than a few people. To do this, we have to find ways to make the experience feel more like the everyday forms of communication we’re comfortable with. Therefore, our objective is to take our attention off ourselves, give it to our audience, and as best we can, establish a connection and rapport with them.

The whole purpose of “delivery skills” that are taught in presentation workshops—eye contact, posture, pacing, voice, gesture, movement, and facial animation—is, in fact, to create the feeling that we’re speaking to our audience as we would to a small circle of acquaintances. To develop these skills, seeing yourself on video is invaluable. People usually discover that they don’t look or sound as bad as they think they do, and they quickly identify things they can do to improve their delivery. To improve the quality of your voice, start by speaking louder. Increasing the volume with which you speak conveys confidence. And it will require adjustments in your breathing, pitch, tone, and pacing, which, all together, will enhance your delivery. Remember that what feels comfortable to you usually looks awkward to others, whereas what looks natural to others will often feel uncomfortable to you. This apparent conundrum is a result of the fact that many of our behaviors as speakers are unconscious adaptations to feelings of anxiety, and therefore look awkward to our listeners. By comparison, practices that look natural to our listeners feel awkward to us because they require that we behave naturally in a situation that feels inherently threatening. If we rise to the challenge, the practice of giving presentations will eventually stretch our idea of what is “natural,” and we’ll gradually feel more comfortable speaking to groups. The sections that follow summarize the skills experienced presenters use to engage their listeners. To improve your delivery over time, focus on one skill in each presentation. Ask someone to video your presentation, and watch the video to identify areas for improvement. Consult the bibliography at the end of the book for more guidance on developing and practicing this valuable art.

Foundation Delivery Skills for Personal Presence

As mentioned earlier, the purpose of “presentation skills” is to create the feeling that we’re speaking to our audience as we would to a small circle of acquaintances. The skills of posture, eye contact, and pacing described below are considered foundation skills because they develop our ability to project confidence and establish rapport with the audience. Focus on mastering these skills first. 1. Posture—Good posture projects confidence. So, stand up straight, with your weight balanced evenly on both feet, and unlock your knees. 2. Eye Contact—Make eye contact with individuals throughout the audience. Speak to people's eyes, maintaining contact just long enough to connect with each individual you speak to. Instead of checking the screen behind you, track your show on a laptop or monitor placed in front of you where you can see it. You risk losing people’s attention when you turn your back to them. 3. Pacing—Breathe, paying particular attention to whether nervousness is making you talk too fast. Speak one complete thought to one person, maintaining eye contact. Then, move your focus to another person. Don’t begin speaking your next thought until you’ve connected with that person. The pause that occurs as you move from person to person will give you time to breathe and formulate what you’re going to say next.

Delivery Skills—Enhancements When you’re able to naturally manage posture, eye contact, and pacing, you’re ready to develop your capabilities for movement, gesture, voice, and facial animation. Skill in these areas will add natural energy to your speaking style. 1. Movement—Movement conveys a sense of dynamism and engagement with your topic. Let eye contact with someone move you toward them as you speak. Then stay in one place and speak to three or four people before moving again. Move in the entire space.

If possible, speak from in front of the lectern to connect with your audience. 2. Gestures—Use gestures to emphasize and animate ideas. “There are three reasons…” “The gap between the top three vendors is narrowing." Between gestures, rest your hands at your sides to avoid moving them simply as a result, and as a sign, of nervousness. 3. Voice—Your voice should naturally rise and fall as you speak, rather than droning on in a monotone. The skill of pacing, discussed in the last section, is key to good vocal delivery. Good pacing requires that you pause to breathe, which will give you the air you need to power your voice. Moving and using gestures will modulate the inflection and tone of your voice. 4. Facial Animation—If you’re breathing and connecting with people’s eyes, your face will naturally express your enthusiasm, your concern, your humor.

Technical Details of Delivery In addition to the personal skills outlined above, keep in mind the following do’s and don’ts of presentation delivery: 1. Speak to the points on your slides. Don’t read them. Reading your slides is the surest way to bore an audience, because people can read faster than you can speak. If you talk about the information on a slide, however, you’ll be adding new information to what is already on the slide. 2. Eliminate verbal filler. Notice and discipline unnecessary words and noises, such as “Um” and “Like I say…” When tempted to say a filler word or noise, pause and breathe instead. Then speak your next thought. 3. Synchronize your speaking with your animations and transitions. Display each new slide or element on a slide, and give people time to absorb what is on the screen. Then, talk about what is on the slide. Practice the timing before you present. Watch news

programs on TV to see how bulleted lists and graphics are synchronized with commentary. 4. Use a remote control. Advancing slides and animations with a remote allows you to move more freely, and to speak away from the lectern. For most presentations, the only functions you need are Forward and Back buttons, a Black Screen button, and maybe a laser pointer. A mouse button is not usually necessary. Be aware, however, that using a remote effectively requires practice and familiarity with the controls. So, practice using your remote before you present. 5. Keep the lights on. Turning off the lights not only induces sleep, it also puts all the focus on the screen, rather than on you. Projectors are now bright enough to project a good image when the lights are on. If possible, turn off any lights that shine directly on the screen. 6. Remember that you can “black out” your show. If you need to digress from the topic on a slide, blank the screen by pressing the Black Screen button on your remote or the “B” key on your computer. All the attention is now on you. When you’re ready to move on, press the Black Screen button or the “B” key again, and the image will reappear. Knowing how to present ideas and information to a group is a valuable skill. Whereas this chapter provides a synthesis of best practices, the skill is sufficiently complex that it’s worth consulting a number of experts for guidance. Therefore, a list of books on preparing, designing, and delivering presentations is provided in the Bibliography to guide to your study.

Preparing and Delivering Virtual Presentations More and more, presentations are delivered not to live audiences while standing on your feet, but to a webinar audience or to participants in a web-based conference call while sitting at your desk.

So what’s different about preparing, designing, and delivering a presentation for an online audience? Actually, not that much. The most efficient way to prepare a virtual presentation is still to start by developing a clear message and then creating slides to complement what you plan to say. Your audience will still be looking at your slides while you speak, so you still have to design slides that complement your message rather than distracting from it. The main thing that changes in a virtual presentation is that you have to work harder to hold your audience’s attention. No one’s watching participants in a webinar or conference call to see if they’re engaged. So, the usual inhibitions that keep people from doing something else while you’re speaking aren’t there. Therefore, a critical ingredient for success is building activities into your presentation that will keep your audience engaged. Audience participation in a virtual presentation can take several forms. You can ask participants for general feedback with an open question, such as “Does anyone have questions or comments about what we’ve discussed so far?” Or you can ask a specific question: “I’d like to hear from each of you about how the new strategic plan is going to change the work in your region.” You can also ask for and answer questions that participants submit through the chat feature in your conferencing or webinar software. Most platforms also enable you to engage an audience by polling them about topics you’ve discussed. As a result, planning exactly how you will engage with your audience engaged becomes as essential part of your preparation. And tell your audience at the beginning of your presentation that you’ll be asking for their participation. They’re more likely to pay attention, since they won’t know when you might call on them to comment or answer a question. When preparing a presentation deck for a virtual meeting, keep in mind that you’re not only preparing what you’re going to say during the presentation, you’re also planning a meeting. So, remember to plan the whole event and where your presentation fits into your objectives for the meeting. What is the purpose of the meeting?

What do you hope to accomplish? What will success for the meeting look like? In this case, your presentation becomes the “shared display”—what everyone will look at while you and they discuss the content of your presentation and make decisions about it. Relative to delivery skills, if participants are only listening to you speak and watching slides, then obviously you need to pay most attention to pacing—making sure you don’t talk too fast—and voice —modulating your delivery so it corresponds with your message and isn’t monotonous. It’s said that if you smile when you speak, people will feel it, even if they can’t see you. If your virtual presentation will include video conferencing, there are two options in terms of where to look. If you look into the camera, participants will feel that you are looking and speaking directly to them. This is critical in a webinar. It’s like television—you must do it or your audience will not feel engaged. In a virtual meeting, on the other hand, where you look is optional. Whereas looking into the camera may engage your audience, looking at your monitor and the video presence of other participants may help you to feel and speak to them more personally, particularly if you are engaged in animated discussion. So, if you feel confident, look at your camera and speak directly to your audience. But if you need help connecting with your audience, look at your monitor. *          *          *          * We’ve now examined how a simple set of principles can be used to define any type of business communication, no matter how long or how complex. E-mails, letters, memos, reports, presentations—in every instance, the same principles can be used to define what information you’ll include, and the best order in which to present it. Because everything we do in life requires some form of written or spoken communication, every day will, no doubt, present countless opportunities for you to use the Spence & Company approach to organize and express your ideas.

All writing is persuasive writing. You have to persuade the reader to keep going. KAY KAVANAGH

16. There’s No Such Thing as Merely Informational Writing For business correspondence to be effective, it should provide the basis for decision-making. It should take a Position that explicitly tells your readers to do or believe something, and then it should substantiate that proposition. Yet it’s common to write in business as if the purpose of a document is to merely report information. The weakness of this “merely informational” approach is that people often ignore information if its significance to them is not made explicit. Think about it: what priority do you give an e-mail if the Subject line says FYI? Such informational writing falls into two categories: informational writing that isn’t merely informational, and informational writing that would benefit from a point of view about the information. Informational writing isn’t merely informational when the writer has a Position about their topic, but presents their point of view as if they’re conveying information, rather than advocating for a course of action or their assessment of the situation. Informational writing that would benefit from a point of view, on the other hand, includes documentation, plans, standards, policies, procedures, and templates used to capture information in a standard format. These types of informational documents need to give readers more than just the details of a new policy or business plan, an accident report, or an explanation of how to accomplish a task. Good documentation should engage readers by explaining what the document is about, why it’s important, what the reader needs to understand about the information, and how to use it.

In either case, there’s no justification for the “informational” writing style, either because the document isn’t merely informational, or else, because it shouldn’t be. Let’s look at each of these types of so-called “informational writing.”

Informational Writing That Isn’t Merely Informational I frequently see e-mails and reports that begin, “The purpose of this report is to document the results of our study of process improvement opportunities in the project.” Rather than focusing on what the study discovered and what needs to be done, the communication takes a neutral tone, presenting the study as if it were just more information. Reports like this fail to identify what the findings mean and how they will affect the business. As a result, the reader is not engaged. It’s also common to see Recommendations presented as if they’re merely information, and in the passive voice, like this: “It has been determined that the coker will require structural improvements, which, with time allotted for the requisite design and engineering, can be implemented within a projected six month timeframe.” Preferably, Recommendations should explicitly advocate action, like this: “Based on the study, the Technical Services Department recommends that the coker be rebuilt in the next six months.” Stating Conclusions and Recommendations explicitly, as part of a well-structured piece of advocacy, will tend to capture readers’ attention. Discussing Conclusions and Recommendations as if they were just information, on the other hand, will obscure your point of view, with the result that your message may be missed or ignored. If you, as the writer, don’t do the work of constructing a logical argument, your readers may not connect the dots themselves, or they may come to different Conclusions than you did. The one instance where an informational writing style may be justified is when responding to someone requesting information, and

nothing more. When a colleague asks for the complete results of a product assessment, it may be sufficient for your e-mail to simply say, “Attached are complete results from the most recent product evaluation that you requested. Let me know if you need more information or have any questions.” Even when asked for raw data, however, always ask yourself whether there’s anything you know that would be helpful or important for your readers to know. Is there anything you know that would reduce the time it takes for readers to understand and interpret the information? Are the results typical? Are there parts of the dataset that are particularly significant or interesting? Are there anomalies that need to be explained?

Documentation: Where’s the Quick Start Guide? The other type of informational writing that is common in business is documentation, which includes communications such as policies, procedures, specifications, standards, and planning documents. The usual assumption is that documentation is “just information,” that nothing more is required, and that its significance should be obvious to whoever reads it. As a result, documentation usually gets right down to business, with list after list of assumptions, criteria, definitions, tasks, policies, specifications, etc. No introduction, no context, no explanation. The problem with documentation is not usually the documentation itself. Its organization and methods of communication are usually defined by the inherent logic of the process being described, and the particular discipline within which you’re working. The problem with documentation, as everyone knows, is that nobody reads documentation. Why? Mostly because readers don’t know what information out of all the detail might be useful to them, and they don’t usually have the time to read the whole document to find out. I recommend, therefore that everyone who writes business documentation should take a cue from the consumer electronics

industry that learned long ago to include a “Quick Start Guide” with every product. All documentation should step users through the basic information they need to know, and give them a map of the details contained in the rest of the document. That way, readers know what the document contains. And even if they don’t read the whole document, at least they will know what they aren’t reading, and when they need information, where they can find it. Conceived in this way, an Opening Statement for documentation should serve as the Quick Start Guide that tells readers what’s in the document, why it’s important, what readers need to understand or know about the information, and how it should be used. Documentation often captures the details of a process, but not the context or the reasons why. Therefore, an effective Opening Statement should record critical information that makes documentation valuable over time, but that is often lost or forgotten. Such information might include the specific need the document was created to address, its unique characteristics, or assumptions used in developing the specification, policy, plan, or whatever. What is generally considered the documentation itself—the procedure, policy, plan, or standard—should be thought of as Data. In other words, the documentation itself is details, and in that respect, it’s secondary. The most important information in documentation should be in the Opening Statement and answer readers’ primary questions: What is this? Why is it important? What do I need to know about it? What should I do with it? Therefore, the actual documentation constitutes the Body of the document, or supporting information, that will only be read as needed. A Summing Up is not generally necessary in documentation, since it’s intended to be read selectively, rather than all the way through. Let’s look closely now at the structure of an Opening Statement for documentation.

Composing an Opening Statement for Documentation

The purpose of an Opening Statement for documentation is to give readers a context for understanding what the document is, and why they should pay attention to it. An effective Opening Statement should transform a document’s mind-numbing detail into meaningful information that readers will appreciate as a benefit to them and to their work. An Opening Statement for documentation should turn mere information into usable knowledge. Following are suggestions for using each section of an Opening Statement to make documentation meaningful and useful to readers. What Prompts Your Document Now?—Begin by explaining what new information, experience, or insight has prompted you to compile this set of information, at this time. What is the context in which the document has been written? What situation is it designed to address? Importance of Subject—In addition to knowing the context that prompted the document, readers need to understand how they will benefit from the policy, procedure, plan, or standard that the document presents. Does the documentation resolve an existing or potential problem? Does it address issues of safety or risk? Will it improve the work of the organization in some way? Does it represent a change, and if so, why? Position—Having established the significance of the documentation in an opening paragraph, the Opening Statement should then take a Position that emphasizes what readers most need to know or understand about the document’s information. A Position for documentation should focus readers’ attention on the nature of the information, its organization, or its importance. A Position for documentation might engage readers by explaining one or more of the following topics: The overall purpose of the policy, procedure, or standard. How the information is structured, and why. A part of the document that deserves particular attention, and why. Particular circumstances to which the information applies.

Safety issues or risks involved in executing a task or addressing a situation. Information that may not be obvious to a first time user that readers will need to understand to navigate the details of the document. Essential Background and Definition of Terms—Is there background information or definition of terms that readers need before they can effectively apply the policy, procedure, plan, or standard explained in the documentation? Essential Background might address how things have been done until now, or whether the document represents a change, with a justification for it. Sources of Data and Assumptions & Limitations—Do you need to establish why you’re qualified to define this policy, procedure, or standard, or why you’re recommending a particular approach to it? To this end, you may need to explain Sources of Data—how this particular policy, procedure, or standard was arrived at—or Assumptions & Limitations—the conceptual framework you’ve used in developing your document. Issues & Conclusions—A discussion of Issues and Conclusions should explain how the information is organized, giving readers a map of the document before they enter into the details. What is the overall design of the policy, procedure, plan, or standard? Are there stages or steps, and how do they unfold? Will decisions need to be made during the process, and how will they affect outcomes? Are there variables in the process that are still unknown or undefined? How should the reader deal with situations or questions that the document doesn’t address? Recommendations—Recommendations, or Next Steps, related to documentation are primarily about how the information should be used. When does the policy, procedure, or standard need to be implemented, and who is responsible? Does this policy, procedure, plan, or standard stand on its own, or is it part of a larger initiative? Do the outcomes of this policy, procedure, plan, or standard affect other tasks, departments, or situations? Are there additional steps to be taken or procedures to be followed?

If you’re going to take the time to prepare a “merely informational” document of any kind, ask yourself how you can make the information truly useful to your audience. At the very least, state explicitly what the document is about, why it’s important to your readers, what you want them to know or understand about it, and how they should use it. If you’ve been thinking during this discussion that documentation takes long enough to prepare without having to do all this additional work, consider this: Do you really want to spend your life writing documentation, policies, procedures, plans, and standards that no one ever reads? Making what you write interesting and relevant to your readers will increase the chances that they will read, benefit from, and even appreciate your work.

Using Templates to Express a Point of View Templates are frequently used in business to standardize the reporting of common occurrences and activities, such as accidents, change orders, and project proposals. By requiring people to submit information in a standard format, templates make it easier for others to evaluate the information. The typical problem in practice, however, is that people tend to relate passively to templates. They simply fill in the boxes with the requested information and submit the form. The result is often a collection of data that doesn’t include an evaluation or point of view about the information. The assumption is that readers will know how to interpret the data and what to do about it. As with all types of communication, however, one can’t always be sure that information will be understood if it’s not accompanied by a point of view. Therefore, when filling out a template, take a more proactive approach. Use the template to present a Position or point of view. Make sure the template clearly conveys, and even advocates for, your understanding of the situation or activity being reported. “But how?” you may ask, “It’s a template. I can only enter the information it asks for.” True enough. You’ll notice, however, that

virtually every template begins with at least one section that requests a “Summary”, “Overview”, “Project Description”, or similar outline of the information being reported. Use this section to include an Opening Statement that summarizes the details of the incident, activity, or project, and advocates for the action you believe should be taken. Don’t just submit slavishly to what the template tells you to do. Make the template serve your purposes, as well.

If language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant. If what is said is not what is meant, then what ought to be done remains undone. CONFUCIUS

17. Communication for All Occasions The approach to business communication you’ve learned in this book may not be altogether new to you. Most of us learned something like the Spence & Company approach at some point in our schooling or our careers. Some of the principles that Organizing Ideas advocates are standard in expository writing courses, such as telling your readers what you’re going to tell them, and then telling them. But the Spence & Company approach is unique in that no other books or courses on writing and speaking provide such explicit instruction on what information to include and how to structure any type of business communication. The challenge in learning a new skill is that we must let go of the way we’ve been doing things, and adopt behaviors that are not yet completely familiar. Initially, the new approach may feel a little awkward. We may be tempted to revert to old practices that feel more comfortable and efficient. Therefore, I encourage you to apply the Spence & Company principles for business communication every day. Memorize the four questions that comprise the Outline for E-mail and Texting. Use them as a guide to help you compose and respond to e-mails throughout the day. For longer documents, pull out a Worksheet and plan what you’re going to say. With time, the approach will become a natural part of the mental routine you exercise as you compose presentations and documents of all types. As discussed in the Preface, the structure you’ve learned in Organizing Ideas is a thinking process that applies to every type of reflection, deliberation, and communication. Therefore, use it to

bring order to your thoughts under any of the following circumstances, and others like them, at work and away from it. Organizing your thoughts before you speak—In a meeting, during a conversation, or on the phone. Leaving voicemail messages—Think through the questions on the Outline for E-mail and Texting to organize your message. Organizing and facilitating meetings—Use the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas to define the purpose of the meeting, which is your Position. Decide before the meeting what you want to accomplish in the meeting, and how you’ll know if the meeting has been successful. Begin the meeting by setting context. Why are we meeting? Why is it important? What is the agenda? Provide any background people may need on the topic of the meeting. Then, identify Issues that need to be addressed, which will determine your agenda. Brainstorm additional Issues that participants want to discuss. When addressing each agenda item, follow the same format: set context, establish importance, introduce background and data. Each discussion should agree on Conclusions about the topic, as well as next steps. At the end of the meeting, review what has been accomplished, agreements that have been made, next steps and who is responsible. Close on a high note with something inspiring—a story, a quote, praise for an individual or the group. Critical thinking for making decisions, solving problems, or managing projects—The structure you’ve learned gives you a systematic way for making sense of any situation and deciding what needs to be done about it. Once you’ve decided on a course of action, use a one-page summary of your Recommendation or point of view to test your ideas. Consider each element on the Worksheet for Organizing Ideas and ask yourself whether something other than

what you’ve written could be the case. Is there an alternative to the Position you’ve taken? How certain are you that your Assumptions are valid? How would your course of action change if you altered your Assumptions? Vetting an idea before drafting a document—Use a Worksheet for Organizing Ideas to organize your thoughts, and then talk them through with a colleague or manager. Make sure you’re ready to put your ideas into writing, or prepare your presentation, by testing your ideas and approach with someone before you write. Ten minutes with a friend can often save you the labor of having to rework a flawed consideration that you’ve spent hours composing. For documents written by several people, use the Worksheet to agree on the content and structure of the final document, and who will write each section. Reading for comprehension and insight—Use the Spence & Company structure to read correspondence from others, especially when it’s not well-organized. Identify the elements of the argument and test their validity. Formulating business strategy—Strategy formation draws on essentially the same thinking process as composing an Opening Statement: Where are we now? (What Prompts Your Document Now? and Issues) How did we get here? (Essential Background) What do we think is happening? (Assumptions) Where do we want to go? (Position) How will we get there? (Recommendations) What could go wrong? (Limitations) Practice the structure you’ve learned to organize your thoughts throughout the day. You’ll soon find that you’re thinking more clearly about everything you say and do.

18. Suggestions for Further Reading The principles of clear communication in Organizing Ideas provide a foundation for growing as a writer and speaker. Business Writing: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly provides numerous examples of how to apply these principles to various types of correspondence. The following books provide additional guidance about thinking clearly and communicating effectively.

Argumentation and Traditional Rhetoric Cialdini, Robert, Influence: Science and Practice, Boston: Allyn and Bacon, 2001. A sometimes unnerving examination of the standard ploys used in contemporary society to get people to do things. Very illuminating. Corbett, Edward, and Robert Connors, Classical Rhetoric for the Modern Student, Fourth Edition, New York: Oxford University Press, 1999. The best modern textbook on rhetoric. Quite readable, although a bit academic. Heinrichs, Jay, Thank You for Arguing: What Aristotle, Lincoln, and Homer Simpson Can Teach Us About the Art of Persuasion, New York: Three Rivers Press, 2007. An entertaining presentation of the principles of rhetoric, with amusing examples from the author’s daily life. Very readable, highly recommended. Heinrichs, Jay, Word Hero: A Fiendishly Clever Guide to Crafting the Line That get Laughs, Go Viral, and Live Forever, New York: Three Rivers Press, 2011. A very readable introduction to the other contribution of rhetoric: the art of crafting sentences for special effect, painting pictures in the mind, and getting attention. Leith, Sam, Words Like Loaded Pistols: Rhetoric from Aristotle to Obama, New York: Basic Books, 2012. An entertaining introduction to the principles of classical rhetoric that shows through modern examples how they’re still the enduring basis of effective communication.

Minto, Barbara, The Pyramid Principle, Third Edition, London: Prentice Hall Financial Times, 2002. More insights into how to structure arguments.

Business and Technical Writing Alley, Michael, The Craft of Scientific Writing, Third Edition, New York: Springer-Verlag, 1997. A readable explanation of how the same principles that Spence & Company uses for effective business communication apply to scientific writing, as well. Munter, Mary, Guide to Managerial Communication: Effective Business Writing and Speaking, Upper Saddle River, N.J.: Pearson Education, Inc., 2008. Concise, but detailed guidelines for all types of business communication that complement the Spence & Company approach. Sant, Tom, Persuasive Business Proposals: Writing to Win More Customers, Clients, and Contracts, Second Edition, New York: AMACOM, 2004. A resource for rethinking sales and marketing materials. Just remember to apply the Spence & Company principles for organizing ideas to the book’s content suggestions.

Graphs and Charts Few, Stephen, Show Me the Numbers: Designing Tables and Graphs to Enlighten, Oakland, CA: Analytics Press, 2004. A practical guide to designing tables and graphs to communicate business information. Highly recommended. Few, Stephen, Now You See It: Simple Visualization Techniques for Quantitative Analysis, Oakland, CA: Analytics Press, 2009. A guide to methods for evaluating quantitative data without statistics. Tufte, Edward, Beautiful Evidence, Cheshire, Connecticut: Graphics Press, 2006. Tufte’s most recent book on presenting data in charts and graphs. Particularly useful are chapters on the principles of evidence-based reasoning, how to detect corrupt data, and the limitations of PowerPoint as a communications tool.

Problem Solving Adams, James L., Conceptual Blockbusting: A Guide to Better Ideas, New York: Basic Books, 2001. Reflections on how to think about complex challenges that is full of wisdom, fun to read, and a good introduction to the literature on creativity, problem solving, and decision making. Straker, David, Rapid Problem Solving with Post-It Notes, Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press, 1997. Six techniques for sorting, organizing, and mapping information before you write. See Straker’s chapter on Bottom-up Trees for an explanation of the technique for consolidating Issues discussed in Chapter 3.

Project Management Allen, David, Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-free Productivity, Revised Edition, New York: Penguin Books, 2015. How to apply the same principles that Spence & Company uses for effective communication to managing the details of life and work. Highly recommended. Berkun, Scott, Making Things Happen: Mastering Project Management, Sebastopol, CA: O’Reilly Media, Inc., 2008. Berkun illustrates over and over how clear thinking and clear communication are the primary skills needed to manage complex projects.

Writing in General King, Stephen, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, New York: Scribner & Son, 2010. Both a candid autobiography and an engaging description of his process as a writer. Not business writing. Just a fun read on how someone else manages the challenges of writing. Strunk, William, Jr., and E .B. White, The Elements of Style, New York: Longman, 2000. A classic handbook of modern English usage. The essay on style at the end of the book is especially useful. Trimble, John R., Writing with Style, Second Edition, Upper Saddle River: Prentice Hall, 2000. An excellent description of writing as a

process. And one of the few that explains the three-part structure of expository writing, with suggestions for how to compose each section. Guidelines on the mechanics of grammar, usage, and style are also informative and enjoyable to read. Williams, Joseph M., Style: Toward Clarity and Grace, Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 1990. A practical guide to crafting clear and concise sentences and well-organized paragraphs. Rather than offering simplistic rules and lists of dos and don’ts, the book explains how to write professional prose that is concise, focused, and organized. Zinsser, William, On Writing Well, New York: Harper Paperbacks, 2006. An entertaining and instructive celebration of nonfiction writing, particularly in contemporary journalism. Discusses examples of superb and less-than-superb prose and what makes them so. Zinsser, William, Writing to Learn, New York: Harper Paperbacks, 1993. More outstanding examples from writers in fields not usually considered sources of exceptional writing—geology, biology, mathematics, chemistry, physics, zoology; psychiatry, art history, and others—demonstrating that writing, thinking, and learning are the same process.

Presentations Decker, Bert, You’ve Got to Be Believed to Be Heard, New York: St. Martins Press, 2008. An excellent system of simple practices for organizing presentations, overcoming stage fright, and cultivating a natural style of delivery. Duarte, Nancy, HBR Guide to Persuasive Presentations, Boston: Harvard Business Review Press, 2012. A synthesis of best practices for preparing, designing, and delivering presentations, communicated in short chapters, one idea at a time. Duarte, Nancy, Resonate: Present Visual Stories That Transform Audiences, Hoboken, NJ, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 2010. A

sophisticated discussion of how to use story forms to structure and enliven your presentations. Duarte, Nancy, www.slidedocs.com. A free online book with downloadable templates that shows how to use presentation software to combine visual communication with written copy. Excellent for creating electronic brochures, proposals, and reports that don’t look like typical presentation slides. Duarte, Nancy, slide:ology: The Art and Science of Creating Great Presentations, Cambridge, MA: O’Reilly Media, Inc., 2008. A handsomely illustrated guide to principles of presentation design, from simple to sophisticated. The book’s format—one concept per two-page spread—is easy to read and assimilate, a little bit at a time. Fensholt, M. F., The Francis Effect: The Real Reason You Hate Public Speaking and How to Get Over It, Ontario, CA: Oakmont Press, 2006. A comprehensive guide to preparing and delivering presentations, including an explanation of the biology and psychology of “stage fright,” and how to manage it. Very good. Harrison, Monarth, and Larina Kase, The Confident Speaker: Beat Your Nerves and Communicate at Your Best in Any Situation, New York: McGraw-Hill, 2007. A comprehensive exploration of the ways that public speaking can make us anxious, with detailed guidance for bringing your anxiety under control. Lancaster, David, and Julian Janes, Help with High-Impact Presentations, Bath, UK: Booksurge Publishing, 2007. An excellent 60-page primer on preparing and delivering presentations using an Introduction—Body—Summing Up structure. McWade, John, Before & After: How to Design Cool Stuff, Berkeley, CA: Peachpit, 2010. Simple, but detailed and valuable lessons on how to combine the various elements of graphic design to good effect. Reimold, Peter, and Cheryl Reimold, The Short Road to Great Presentations, Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, 2003. A book on

presentations written for engineers, rather than for marketers and salespeople. Strong on developing a good structure. Comprehensive and very practical. Reynolds, Garr, Presentation Zen Design: Simple Design Principles and Techniques to Enhance Your Presentations, Berkeley, CA: New Riders, 2010. Another visually rich exposition of the principles of presentation design. Better than Reynolds’ first book, Presentation Zen. Williams, Robin, The Non-Designer’s Presentation Book: Principles for Effective Presentations, Berkeley: Peachpit Press, 2010. A good starting place for learning how to design good presentations. The chapters on William’s four principles for visual design are excellent, and easy to learn and apply. Weissman, Jerry, Presenting to Win: The Art of Telling Your Story, Updated and Expanded Edition, Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc., 2009. An excellent guide to planning, composing, and designing presentations that complements the Spence & Company approach to business communication. Weissman, Jerry, The Power Presenter: Technique, Style, and Strategy from America’s Top Speaking Coach, Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, 2009. An insightful analysis of what people tend to do in front of an audience, with ingenious instructions for overcoming bad habits.

Virtual Presentations Courville, Roger, The Virtual Presenter’s Handbook, Troutdale, OR: 1080 Group, 2009. A short but comprehensive guide to conducting web-based seminars. Koegel, Timothy J., The Exceptional Presenter Goes Virtual: Take Command of Your Message, Create an ''In-Person'' Experience, and Captivate Any Remote Audience, Austin, TX: Greenleaf Book Group Press, 2010. Detailed guidance on how to prepare and deliver effective presentations remotely.

Wilkinson, Michael, The Secrets of Facilitation: The SMART Guide to Getting Results with Groups, Second Edition, San Francisco: JosseyBass Publishers, 2012. An excellent overview of foundation techniques for facilitating groups, with a special chapter on facilitating virtual meetings.

Why Communication Fails Argyris, Chris, Overcoming Organizational Defenses: Facilitating Organizational Learning, Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1990. An academic examination of why people in organizations have such difficulty communicating, by one of the original researchers and theorists in the field. A demanding book that will be more rewarding if read after the more introductory books below.  Noonan, William R., Discussing the Undiscussable: A Guide to Overcoming Defensive Routines in the Workplace, San Francisco: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 2007. A more accessible presentation of Argyris’ insights into the obstacles to effective communication, by one of his students. Patterson, Kerry, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler, Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes Are High, New York: McGraw-Hill, 2002. The most practical and readable of all the books on mastering the human dimensions of effective communication. Rock, David, SCARF: a brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others, NeuroLeadership Journal, Issue One, 2008. Available at www.your-brain-at-work.com/files/NLJ_SCARFUS.pdf. Explains the five areas of experience—status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness—that influence how people behave in groups and that are therefore critical to effective communication. Rock, David, Your Mind at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long, New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 2006. Explains how the brain manages information and emotion, and how to use this understanding to work and communicate more effectively.

Glossary Action Program—A type of Recommendation that explains the actions a writer or speaker wants her audience to take to advance or implement her Position. An effective Action Program should identify Who will do What, by When, and How. See also Future Work. Active voice—A verb is in the active voice when the subject of the sentence performs or causes the action expressed by the verb. In “The manager wrote the report,” for example, “the manager” is the subject of the sentence and performs the action that produces the report. Affinity diagrams—A brainstorming technique that uses Post-It Notes to capture and organize ideas. The technique records both detailed thoughts about a topic, while also synthesizing the details into a higher-level conceptual schema. All About Me—A communications strategy in which an author assumes that all that is required to communicate effectively is to clearly state his ideas, information, or point of view. Communication does not in fact occur unless an author is able to present his ideas and information in a manner that demonstrates the relevance of his point of view to matters that are of importance to his audience, in terms they will understand. Assumptions & Limitations—An account in the Opening Statement of the Assumptions that underlie the author’s Conclusions and Recommendations, and the Limitations of her findings. Assumptions & Limitations are a component of Methodology, used to establish an author’s or speaker’s credibility as an authority on the topic discussed, and the validity of her Data. By making Assumptions & Limitations explicit, an author builds trust through transparency and establishes common ground with her audience. Baffle `em with Bullshit—A communications strategy in which the author uses a tone of authority, rather than persuasive argumentation, to establish his credibility and the validity of his point

of view. The Baffle `em with Bullshit strategy is frequently characterized by the unnecessary use of jargon, big words, complex sentences, and lengthy paragraphs. The term is taken from W.C. Fields, who said, “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.” Body—The middle section of the three-part structure used for longer communications, in which Issues, Conclusions, and Recommendations are discussed in detail, with Data presented to prove or support each point. Conclusions—Deductions drawn from Data. Conclusions summarize the implications of the Data, or what the Data says. Conclusions are an evaluation of what is happening, an attempt to interpret, understand, or make sense of reality. Recommendations, on the other hand, are what should be done about what is happening. Content anxiety—Concern when speaking to a group about whether you know your material well enough to remember and speak confidently about it. Data—Information or evidence presented to prove or support Conclusions and Recommendations. When Data is needed to support a point of view, it’s presented primarily in the Body of a document or presentation. Data Dump—A communications strategy that presents more Data than is necessary to prove or support the Position, Conclusions, and Recommendations. Decision-oriented communication—The idea that documents and presentations should always present a point of view that serves decision making, either by (1) advocating a decision or (2) providing an evaluation that someone else can use to make a decision. Definition of Terms—An element of the Opening Statement, and an aspect of the Position, in which the author defines terms used in her Position that the audience will need to understand the author’s argument or discussion. Terms requiring definition include technical

terms, jargon, acronyms, and everyday words that may mean different things to different audiences. Emotional sandwich—A strategy for addressing emotionally or politically charged situations, in which a proposal is “sandwiched” between an opening and a closing that are explicitly crafted to establish a human connection with readers, and thereby create a basis for trust. Essential Background—An element of the Opening Statement, and an aspect of the Position, in which the author provides information an audience may need to understand what the Position is about and the situation the author is addressing. Essential Background often expands on information explained in the first sentence of the Opening Statement, known as “What Prompts Your Document Now?” Ethos—Appealing to an audience based on the author’s character, or qualities as an individual, to cultivate the audience’s perception of the author as sympathetic, trustworthy, or “one of us.” Executive Summary. See Opening Statement Free writing—A technique for composing documents efficiently, in which a person writes whatever comes to mind about a topic, without stopping to edit or correct grammar and spelling. Future Work—A type of Recommendation that explains the actions a writer or speaker will take to advance or implement her Position. See also Action Program. Importance of Subject—A part of the Opening Statement, usually appearing in the first paragraph, that explains why the topic discussed in the document or presentation is, or should be, of interest or value to the audience. Importance of Subject tells an audience “What’s in it for them” by highlighting (1) an opportunity the author’s Position will take advantage of, or (2) a problem it will solve. A component of Significance to the Reader.

Informational writing—Writing that does not tell readers what to do or believe about the topic discussed, or, in many cases, even why they should give it their attention. Writing, in other words, that doesn’t advocate a Position. Examples of informational writing commonly encountered in business include documentation, plans, standards, policies, and procedures. All informational writing would benefit from an Opening Statement that explains, as necessary, what the information is, why it’s important, which portions of the document are most relevant, how the information should be used, and under what circumstances. Inverted pyramid. See Pyramid structure Issues—Topics an author must discuss to prove or support his Position. Key Readers—Readers who will use a document—or listeners who will use a presentation—as the basis for making a decision. Hence, the most important members of an audience. Knuckle rule—Limit paragraphs to four to five sentences or 1 to 1½ inches of single-spaced text. So named because the length of the second joint of the first finger is generally about 1 to 1½ inches. Limitations. See Assumptions & Limitations Logos—Appealing to an audience based on the logic of or reasoning behind an author’s point of view. Methodology—The part of an Opening Statement that establishes a writer’s or speaker’s credibility as an authority on the topic under discussion and the validity of her Data. Methodology consists of two components: (1) Sources of Data and (2) Assumptions used in arriving at Conclusions and Recommendations, and the Limitations of the author’s findings. Mystery Story—A communications strategy in which the solution to a problem or situation is presented at the end of a document or presentation, after discussion of the details of, or the arguments for and against, the solution. The Spence & Company approach to

business communication recommends that Conclusions and Recommendations be presented at the beginning of a document or presentation, rather than at the end. Opening Statement—The first section of a message, in which the author presents a complete summary of her argument or point of view, without the aid of Data or detailed discussion. The Opening Statement presents the author’s Position and summarizes the primary Conclusions and Recommendations. Discussion needed to prove or support the Position is presented in the Body of a message. When Data or discussion are not needed, the structure of the Opening Statement may be used by itself to organize shorter messages, such as e-mails, text messages, and one-page memos. Paragraph—A formatting device in written communication used to signify a change in topic. A paragraph generally consists of one to five sentences. Passive voice—A verb is in the passive voice when the subject of the sentence is acted on by the verb. In “The report was written by the manager,” for example, “the report” is the subject of the sentence and receives the action of the verb. Pathos—Appealing to an audience’s core values or beliefs—their “drivers”—to motivate or inspire them to agree with, support, or act on the author’s point of view. Perfect Draft—A communications strategy in which the author attempts to plan, write, and edit a document or presentation all at the same time. A more effective approach to composing communications is to (1) plan the communication, (2) compose or draft it, and then (3) revise and edit the communication into final form. The liability in attempting to perform these three activities at the same time is that it usually takes more time to compose the document, and none of the activities is performed effectively. Performance anxiety—Concern when speaking to a group about whether you’ll be able to overcome the emotional and physiological

reaction most people have to public speaking, and speak clearly in a natural and relaxed manner. Position—An author’s statement of what she wants her audience to do or believe as a result of her communication. The Position is the most important element in a message because it determines how much other information should be included—only enough to prove or support the Position. Ensuring that a Position is understandable to an audience may require the inclusion of (1) Essential Background that explains the situation the Position is addressing, and (2) Definition of Terms used in the Position. Pyramid structure—A metaphor used to illustrate the principle that information should be presented in descending order of importance, or most important information first. In the Spence & Company approach to business writing, the Position appears at the top of the pyramid as the most important information in a document because it defines what other information should be included—only enough to prove or support the Position. The Position is followed in importance by Issues, Conclusions, and Recommendations, since these elements form the argument that supports or explains the Position. Lastly, Data appears at the bottom of the pyramid, since it’s presented only if it’s necessary to prove or support the Conclusions and Recommendations. The pyramid structure is sometimes referred to as the “inverted pyramid.”  Reader Profile Form—A Spence & Company worksheet designed to help writers and speakers identify their audience, what they know about them, and how what they know should affect the way they write or speak. Recommendations—Actions an author identifies as necessary to advance or implement his Position. Recommendations are of two types: (1) Action Program, which explains the actions an author wants his audience to take, and (2) Future Work, or actions the author or speaker will undertake himself to implement the Position. Conclusions are the author’s analysis or interpretation of what is

happening; Recommendations are what the author believes should be done about what is happening. Rhetoric—The art of speaking or writing effectively to persuade or influence an audience. In the Western world, rhetoric was developed by Greek teachers and scholars beginning in about 500 BCE, and served as a fundamental component of Western education until the early 20th century. Rhetoric defines the elements that are necessary to construct an effective argument, identifies tools for influencing people, and specific ways that language can be used to influence or persuade. SHARP Tools—An acronym coined by communications specialist Bert Decker to remind speakers of the tools they can use in openings and throughout a talk or presentation to capture and hold audience attention. SHARP Tools include (1) Stories and examples, (2) Humor, (3) Analogies, (4) References and quotations, and (5) Pictures and visual aids. Sideheadings—Headings that may be used throughout a document to identify the topic discussed in each section. Commonly used to identify the sections of longer memos and reports, sideheadings can also be used in e-mails and shorter memos to signal where discussions begin and end. Significance to the Readers—The first paragraph of an Opening Statement that gets readers’ or audience attention by explaining (1) What Prompts Your Document Now and (2) the Importance of the Subject of a document or a presentation to its readers or audience. Sources of Data—An account in the Opening Statement of how or where an author obtained the Data used to prove or support her Conclusions and Recommendations. Sources of Data is a component of Methodology, used to establish an author’s or speaker’s credibility as an authority on the topic discussed, and the validity of her Data. Storytelling—A literary and theatrical art form whose primary purpose is to stir emotions and motivate people. In stories, “the facts” are of secondary importance.

Subject—The header of an e-mail or memo that gets readers’ attention by identifying the topic of the communication. An effective Subject should summarize the author’s Position in four to seven words. Put a verb in your Subjects—required, requested, needed, proposed, etc. In e-mail, the Subject should be changed when the topic of a thread changes. Summing Up—The final or concluding section of a document or presentation that reviews the Position, Conclusions, and Recommendations presented in the Opening Statement and discussed in the Body. The purpose of a Summing Up is to make sure the audience is clear about what has been communicated, and what the author wants them to do about it. Tell-3—An abbreviation of the principle that an effective communication should “Tell your audience what you’re going to tell them, tell them, and then tell them what you told them.” If not used artfully, Tell-3 can be a formula for tedious repetition. Twenty-dollar words—Fancy words and jargon intended to create a tone of authority, whose usual effect is that the communication merely sounds pompous. Weasel Words—Words such as possibly, maybe, almost, and phrases such as it could be, it seems, it is believed, and the like that qualify, or hedge, the author’s point of view to such a degree that the Position is not clear. What Prompts Your Document Now?—The first sentence of any communication in which the author tells the audience what the communication is about, or what new idea, information, event, insight, or change in circumstances has caused the author to initiate a discussion of his topic at this time. A component of Significance to the Reader. Can be used as the opening of a presentation, as well. Worksheet for Organizing Ideas (Long Form)—A Spence & Company worksheet used for planning longer communications that require an Opening Statement, a Body, and possibly a Summing Up.

Worksheet for Organizing Ideas (Short Form)—A Spence & Company worksheet used for planning just an Opening Statement or a one-page document.

About the Author Matthew Spence teaches workshops on business writing and presentation skills. For information about Spence & Company workshops, please see our website at www.spenceandco.com, or contact the author at [email protected] or (503) 2249168.