Michaelmas term and a trick to catch the old one: A critical edition 9783111392158, 9789027934215

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STUDIES

IN ENGLISH Volume XCI

LITERATURE

THOMAS MIDDLETON MICHAELMAS AND

TERM

A TRICK TO CATCH THE OLD ONE A Critical Edition by

GEORGE R. PRICE Michigan State University

1976

MOUTON THE HAGUE • PARIS

© Copyright 1976 Mouton & Co. B.V., Publishers, The Hague. No part of this book may be translated or reproduced in any form by print, photoprint, microfilm, or any other means, without written permission from the publishers.

ISBN 90279 3421 5

Printed in The Netherlands by Mouton & Co,

FOREWORD

This edition of Thomas Middleton's two best comedies is designed for the use of scholars and advanced students of Jacobean drama. Therefore, the spelling and punctuation of the original editions are retained with but few changes, and the introductions and explanatory notes are meant to assist readers who are already familiar with English idiom, customs, and staging in 1600, and who do not wish to have commonplaces defined. I have tried to offer an exact textual edition based on extensive collation of surviving quartos. The fourth section of the introduction to each play provides a list of the copies that have been collated and a compact discussion of the bibliographical history of the text. The textual notes record all the variants in the first editions, the editions which furnish the authentic text of each play. In the present version the more authentic variants have, of course, been incorporated. However, these texts have also been silently regularized in the following ways: I. Spelling. - The use of i and j, u and v, follows modern style. In the speech heads and Dramatis Personae the names of the characters conform to what I believe was Middleton's usual spelling of them, and these names are always given in full. But in stage directions and dialogue I leave the names as set by the compositors. II. Italic, ampersands, hyphenation. -1 have regularized by using italic for the names of persons ("Maister Blastfield"), countries, cities and churches, but not for parts of cities ("Paules", "the Innes of Court"). Letters that are read aloud are set in italic; but songs and jingles follow the font used in the first edition. I retain the ampersand. I reduce two or three hyphens to one if hyphenation was in-

6

FOREWORD

tended and similarly with dashes used in the quartos for hyphenation ("Northamptonshire—lass" becomes " Northamptonshire's"). III. Punctuation. - Practically the only changes in punctuation are found at the ends of speeches. There, when the quarto shows a colon, semicolon, or comma, I have used a period, query, exclamation point, or dash, as seems appropriate. IV. Verse lining. - The free rhythm of Middleton's verse and his habit of shifting from prose to verse with less evident reason than some dramatists show make the distinction of his prose from his verse frequently difficult (the Trinity manuscript of A Game at Chesse reveals that he also crowded verse lines into inadequate space and so increased the compositors' problems). Therefore, when in doubt I have left the lining as in the quarto. V. My additions to the texts, which are nearly all in stage directions, are indicated by square brackets. Two other remarks may be made: First, my study of Middleton's habits with accidentals has been greatly aided by use of his holograph copies of A Game at Chesse. Second, in the explanatory notes I have modernized the spelling of titles of sixteenth and seventeenth century books unless the archaic spelling is conventional today. I wish to thank the Department of English for giving me a sabbatical leave to complete my work on this edition, and to thank the All-University Research Committee of Michigan State University for subsidies to purchase film copies and to travel to a number of libraries. G. R. P.

CONTENTS

Foreword

5

MICHAELMAS

TERM

Introduction

11

Text

22

Explanatory Notes

100

Textual Notes

119

A TRICK TO CATCH THE OLD

ONE

Introduction

129

Text

140

Explanatory Notes

210

Textual Notes

221

MICHAELMAS

TERM

INTRODUCTION

I. AUTHORSHIP

Michaelmas Term was originally published without mention of the author's name in either the entry in the Stationers' Register or the title pages of the first and second editions. The publisher's silence on the matter may have been caused by ignorance or by his feeling that the dramatist's name was not widely enough known to attract readers, rather than by his desire to protect a writer who had very caustically satirized the Scottish hangers-on at Court; but it is possible that the latter two motives combined. However that may have been, surviving playlists down to 1656 do not assign MT to any author. In 1656 Rogers and Ley's catalogue appended to The Careless Shepherdess ascribes the comedy to Chapman, probably just by typographical error; 1 later in the same year Edward Archer's list, published with The Old Law, assigns it to Thomas Middleton. Francis Kirkman's catalogues of 1661 and 1671 and Gerard Langbaine's of 1688 repeat the ascription to Middleton; and so far as I know, this attribution has not been seriously disputed. In whatever way Archer or his clerks attained their knowledge of the authorship, modern scholars and critics find convincing manifestation in MT of the literary traits of the writer of A Trick to Catch the Old One, Your Five Gallants, and A Mad World, My Masters. 1 Sir Walter Greg reprints the lists down to 1671 in A Bibliography of the English Printed Drama to the Restoration, III (London, 1957); see pp. 1299, 1312, 1316, 1325, 1327, 1334, 1347; and Langbaine, Momus Triumphans, 1688, p. 15 [Cir],

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MICHAELMAS TERM

II. DATE OF COMPOSITION

The first dated reference to this comedy is the entry by the publisher, Arthur Johnson, in the Stationers' Register on 15 May 1607. The imprint of the first edition is also dated 1607, and therefore one may safely assume that MT was available to the reading public by midsummer of that year. But we lack equally definite evidence as to the years in which the play was composed and produced. It was acted several times, the title page says, by the Children of Paul's. This company's last known production took place at Court on 30 July 1606.2 Historians have assumed, therefore, that the company dissolved within the next few months. It seems safe to conclude that MT was originally produced not later than the earliest months of 1606. Turning to internal evidence of the date of composition, we may notice three kinds: topical references, parallels with other literary works, particularly Middleton's own, and aspects of style. The topical references seem to allow for a range of years, 1603-1606. The pungent satire against Scotsmen at Court (chiefly conveyed in the characterization of Lethe) is unlikely to have been composed earlier than the summer of 1603, the year of James I's accession; but Englishmen's universal relief and joy at the peaceful settlement of the problem of succession assuredly began to give place to disgust with his worse followers and with his cheap gifts of knighthood by the autumn of 1603. Conceivably, then, Middleton's satire could have been written in late 1603. One topical reference in particular has tantalized scholars by its seeming definiteness; this is Tomazin's comparison of herself to a shameless woman watching an execution: Why stand I here (as late our gracelesse Dames That found no eyes) to see that Gentleman Alive in state and credite executed, Helpe to rip up himselfe, do's all he can... I am no Dame that can endure such sights. (II.3.222-225, 379)

Commentators on MT have been about equally divided in opinion 2

E. K. Chambers, The Elizabethan Stage. II (Oxford. 1923). 22.

INTRODUCTION

13

as to which of two executions may be alluded to, that of two conspirators in Raleigh's By-Plot, on 29 November 1603 at Winchester, or that of accomplices in the Gunpowder Plot, on 30 and 31 January 1606 next to St. Paul's Church and in Parliament Yard, Westminster. In the contemporary tracts, letters, and annals which describe these events I have found no direct reference to shameless women prominent as spectators of the dismemberment of the victims. At Winchester, says Sir Dudley Carleton, "There was no greater assembly than I have seen at ordinary executions..."; though he does not speak of women, he may have overlooked or ignored some crude curiosity which was afterward talked about in London. This conspiracy had come early in James's reign and must have aroused much public interest, so that one would expect the execution to be fully reported, despite the distance from London and the prevalence of the plague. On the other hand, the Gunpowder Treason had created such general fear and detestation that the sequel executions drew very large crowds, in which, as usual, women and even children were present (as contemporary engravings show). E. K. Chambers has cited three other plays besides MT which mention attendance at executions (only one of them censures women particularly), and we may add Dekker's general remark in The Whore of Babylon (published early in 1607) about "woman at an Execution, that can endure to see men quartred aliue". Nevertheless, these allusions are connected with the Gunpowder punishments only by inference, including inferences about the dates of composition of the plays-one of which, The Fawn, apparently was originally produced in 1604.3 Carleton notes that one of the sufferers at Winchester "both strove to help himself and spake after he was cut down". This language reminds us of Tomazin's "Helpe to rip up himselfe"; but the parallel may not be significant of date. Tomazin's metaphor may have occurred to Middleton because of the fact that according to 3 David Jardine, Criminal Trials... during the Reigns of Queen Elizabeth and James /..., I (London, 1832?), 470-471; Chambers, III, 432-433; The Dramatic Works of Thomas Dekker, ed. Fredson Bowers, II (Cambridge, 1955), 522. See also Baldwin Maxwell, "Middleton's Michaelmas Term", PhilologicalQuarterly, XXII (1943), 29-35.

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MICHAELMAS TERM

law traitors were to be cut down alive from the gallows and as a result they frequently writhed under the executioner's knife as he quartered, and perhaps sometimes they seemed to welcome the knife. Easy's ready cooperation with the cozeners bears a little similarity. Two other apparent topical references in MT are the talk of closing off trade to Middleborough in Holland and the mention of "sixpence British". But investigation shows that for varying reasons neither is decisive as to date. Three strikingly close parallels to the phraseology of Middleton's Father HubburcTs Tales (published 1604) are instanced in the Explanatory Notes to lines 1.2.5, II. 1.2, and V.3.137. The dramatist's use of expressions he had used in the tract surely favors dating MT in 1604, that is, within a year of the composition of the Tales. However, such a recollection during 1605 is not an impossibility. Finally we may notice the relative extent of prose and verse in MT as compared to the dramatist's other early plays. Out of a total of about 2,519 lines, 549 are verse, a proportion of 21.79%. In Middleton's other unaided plays of around this time, the per cents of verse are as follows: A Trick to Catch the Old One, 23.7%; The Phoenix, 30.5%; Your Five Gallants, 32.1 %; and A Mad World, My Masters, 34.1 %. This order of the plays in terms of their proportion of verse agrees significantly with scholars' conjectures about the dates of composition, notably those of E. K. Chambers and R. C. Bald, who of necessity allow a range of years for several of the works.4 The only play apparently much out of place is The Phoenix, but it is so only if it is dated early in 1603 or even earlier, as it probably should be; then its high per cent of verse is to be explained by its graver purpose and frequent sententiousness. With this exception, one sees in the per cents of verse in these plays aninflue nee of Jonson's comedies from Every Man [in His Humour to Poetaster, all of which are predominantly in prose. 4

Bald, "The Chronology of Middleton's Plays", Modern Language Review, XXXII (1937), 43. Professor Bald assigns MT to late 1603 or early 1604. In counting percentages of verse in early plays, I have excluded works about which serious question of authorship has been raised, such as Blurt, Master Constable and The Family of Love, and also collaborations.

INTRODUCTION

15

Despite the varied reception of Jonson's experimental comedies in 1598-1601, I believe that in his early plays young Middleton was drawn by them to the use of prose for satiric realism. Certainly, he had been versifying for about six years when he wrote The Phoenix; it was no lack of fluency in verse that caused him to use prose in the comedies. He afterward employed verse more and more. To the present editor the evidence favors a date for the composition of M r very early in James's reign, probably 1604. Production by the Paul's Boys would soon have followed - surely any time after April, when the theatres reopened following a year of plague.

III. SOURCES OF MICHAELMAS TERM, PARTICULARLY OF THE SATIRE

MT is structured on themes and conventions that the dramatist adapted from contemporary satire and rogue literature. But, taking recent criticism of the comedy as valid, one must recognize that Middleton has composed, not just a very lively stage-piece, but a pointed commentary on Jacobean society. An underlying seriousness in the view of society at least in part accounts for the dramatist's choice of modes of satire for his comedy. Doubtless the most obvious borrowing, from both life and literature, is the "commodity game", or cozening, used by Quomodo and referred to very frequently in rogue literature, for instance, accounts of the swindling of unsuspicious citizens or visitors to London. But the game is also described in sermons, satires in both prose and verse, and other plays; it was probably practiced long before Thomas Wilson's Discourse upon Usury, 1572, in which it appears as well developed. Articles by A. B. Stonex, R. C. Bald, and Margery Fisher have cited a number of parallels in the tracts by Lodge and Greene, but, curiously, they do not mention two rather full descriptions in Greene's A Quip for an Upstart Courtier, 1592.5 5 Wilson, Discourse, sigs. O3V-O4V; Stonex, "Money Lending and Money-Lenders in England During the 16th and 17th Centuries", Schelling Anniversary Papers, ed. A. H. Quinn (New York, 1923), p. 272; Bald, "The Sources of Middleton's City Comedies", Journal of English and Germanic Philology, XXXIII

16

MICHAELMAS TERM

Quomodo's second device, pretending to have died and through disguise observing the consequences, is Middleton's adaptation of a ruse to be found in stories at least as early as Petronius's narrative of the Ephesian matron, in the Satyricon, and as late as Pasquil's Jests mixed with Mother Bunch's Merriments, 1604. The motif was adapted in comrnedia dell'arte and a number of English plays, e.g., Chapman's The Widow's Tears, The London Prodigal, and Jonson's Volpone. Because the Italian scenario concerns The Old Miser and his attempt to "discover the hypocrisy of his relations", it approximates more closely the situation in MT than do the English comedies mentioned. We know that a company of Italian comedians, "commended hither", visited England and were paid for at least one "play or interlude" presented at Court on 29 August 1602. Although the theme of that Italian comedy is not recorded, one is tempted to conjecture that Middleton may have listened appreciatively to reports of the performance of II Vecchio Avaro if he was unable to witness it.6 Passing over minor parallels to stories in rogue literature and jest-books, let us turn to a movement in contemporary literature which directed Middleton as decidedly as it did others who came of age about 1600, namely, satire. At first glance, indeed, no literary source for the most conspicuous object of satire in MT, Andrew Lethe, seems needed; a sufficient one is the resentment stirred in London Englishmen particularly by the troop of Scottish "hangbys" who flocked to London in 1603, intent on gaining a comfortable place for themselves at the wealthy English Court. "Whole families of poor people... made the [English] courtiers in fear of infectious and dangerous diseases. They were nasty for want of clean linen. There was much stealing, filching, and robbery... so did (1934), 373-387; Fisher, "Notes on the Sources of Some Incidents in Middleton's London Plays", Review of English Studies, XV (1939), 284; A Quip, sigs. Car, E3V. References to the commodity game are also found in Hall, Virgidemiarum (1597, 1598); Lodge, Alarum against Usurers (1584); Whetstone, The Rock of Regard (1576); Gascoigne, The Steel Glass (1576); Lodge and Greene, A Looking Glass for London (1594); and many other works. 6 Kathleen M. Lea, Italian Popular Comedy, I (Oxford, 1934), 190; "Dramatic Records in the Declared Accounts of the Treasurer of the Chamber", ed. David Cook, Malone Society Collections, VI (Oxford, 1962), 34-35.

INTRODUCTION

17

they flock here only for diet'Mn this possibly exaggerated way Bishop Godfrey Goodman described the invasion many years after. 7 His description is benevolent compared to Middleton's picture of Lethe. Andrew, son of old Wa'ter Gruel, a toothdrawer, has come to London penniless; he changes his name, acquires a suit of kersey on credit, lives by gambling and pimping, and employs his mother as a drudge to run his vile errands. He has got a place in the royal kitchen, whence he carries off scraps; his assistant, Hellgill the pandar - not a Scot - despises him, hopes he will be killed, and then will beg his place at Court! Lethe is a blend of wretched affectation, stupidity, falsehood, cowardice, pride, and lust. Middleton's success in injecting so much contempt into a few scenes is to be admired, as is the daring of the Paul's Boys in presenting the satire on stage. Since there is abundant testimony elsewhere to Englishmen's annoyance with the hang-bys, one need not doubt that real friction generated the contempt motivating the satire. However, a literary tradition, that is, satire of the "upstart courtier", facilitated both Middleton's drawing of the lampoon and his audience's appreciation of it. Greene's satiric tract, A Quip for an Upstart Courtier (1592), has already been mentioned; and the figure of the courtierfop appears in verse-satires and drama, as well as in prose tracts. Naturally, the species merges into those of the swaggering gallant and of the wastrel. In Samuel Rowland's "Up-start Courtier" and "Gentlemen of base brood" one finds all these aspects: You that will giue youre Jelfe an other name, Which mujt not from an old Thatcht-houje begin. You that will haue an Armes Jhall grace you too, Though your poore Father cobled many a Shoo. ... Fajhions Jpie, and Humors Ape A Jilken AJfe, a very Veluet Clowne You that within a Juite of Cyuit dwell, And Garlike was your Fathers onely Jmell.8 7

The Court of King James the First, I (London, 1839), 320-321. Looke to it: For, lie Stabbe ye (1604), in The Complete Works of Samuel Rowlands 1598-1628,1 (Glasgow, 1880), 11, 16. The upstart is also cartooned in Middleton, The Black Book (1604), sigs. C2V, E2V-E3r; Hall, Virgidemiarum, The Three Last Books (1598), sig. Cir; Guilpin, Skialetheia (1598), sigs. Csv, Div; and elsewhere. 8

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MICHAELMAS TERM

In general, parallels to Elizabethan satire, especially but not exclusively the non-dramatic, are numerous in MT. All the gallants are prodigals. Although Quomodo is so highly individualized as to be far above the stereotype of the usurer, he represents the rapacious citizen whose avarice destroys social order; and he also smacks of Puritan hypocrisy, for he attends the Puritan lectures at St. Antholine's Church and swears by his religion as he cozens. Tomazin's haste to remarry is a traditional slur at women's lust, a motif found earlier in Hamlet and A Hundred Merry Tales, to name but two of many places. Part of the same anti-feminine tradition is the Country Wench (in later scenes renamed the Curtizan). Her vanity and lewdness are not to be forgiven because she is a victim; she sins deliberately, is held fully accountable, and therefore no tinge of pity is evoked by her relations with her Father. This incomplete list suggests part of the influence of Elizabethan literature on Middleton's imagination as he made the comedy. However, criticism should go farther and try to establish the play more significantly in literary history; and the attempt has been made.9 The basic postulates are usually these: Middleton (like Jonson and Dekker) is an orthodox moralist in the Christian tradition. He accepts as God-given "an ordered and graded society, in which each class performed its allotted function, and was secured a livelihood, and no more than such a livelihood, as was proportioned to its status". The vice of acquisitiveness (then more plainly called avarice) in sixteenth century England was unleashed by rapid economic changes and by the inability of churchmen to adapt the spiritual teaching of Christianity to a new world of commerce. Finding such opportunity, individualists like Quomodo weakened the very frame of society by their appropriation of the lands of the ruling class: they dispossessed the governors of England (under the King), then dispossessed the tenantry in order to convert the land to sheep-raising. The visible results were increased vagabondage, 9

For instance, by Kathleen M. Lynch, The Social Mode of Restoration Comedy (New York, 1926,1965), pp. 24-28, and L. C. Knights, Drama and Society in the Age of Jonson (London, 1937), pp. 260-269. Although Knights flatly contradicts Miss Lynch, I believe that she sees the dramatist's aims more clearly. See also Richard Levin,"Sexual Equations in the Elizabethan Double Plot", Literature and Psychology, XVI (1966), 2-14

INTRODUCTION

19

growing slums in London, higher costs of living, and more crime. Conscious of the immediate source of these evils, that is, extortion, dramatists and others attacked the greedy "usurers' 'on much the same bases as Sir Thomas More had done; but they did not perceive that "this whole conception of a social theory based ultimately on religion ... was being discredited ... by the growth of a powerful body of lay opinion, which argued that economics were one thing and ethics another". It is only in the twentieth century that historians have clearly seen what was developing in seventeenth century capitalism.10 Naturally, therefore, satire in MT has its foundation in traditional ethical thought and possesses whatever validity that tradition retained. But the expression the satire takes is shaped by Middleton's temperament and the accidents of his training. Professor Levin's article, cited in a preceding note, discusses one aspect of this shaping.

IV. THE TEXT

The 1607 quarto of MT offers an authentic and reasonably wellprinted text. The manuscript used as printer's copy was either in Middleton's own handwriting or in a very close transcription, and the unusually explicit stage directions (most of them in the form of entries) indicate the author's own fair copy as the source of the edition. That Middleton made it so good a reading version in anticipation of publication is at least a possibility. Whether he did so or not, the text offers a marked contrast to the equally authentic, but less clear, manuscripts on which were based the quartos of The Phoenix, an earlier, and A Trick to Catch the Old One, a later play. The evidence supporting the view that the printer's copy was the author's final draft cannot be set forth in detail here. 11 In the main it consists, positively, of the survival in the quarto of Middleton's 10 The quotations are from R. H. Tawney, Religion and the Rise of Capitalism, Penguin Books (Harmondsworth, 1938), pp. 158, 169. 11 1 have stated much of the evidence in "Dividing the Copy for Michaelmas Term", Papers of the Bibliographical Society of America, LX (1966), 327-336, and in "The Early Editions of A Trick to Catch the Old One", The Library, 5th series, XXII (1967), 205-227.

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MICHAELMAS TERM

accustomed formulas for act-division and of his habitual spelling and punctuation. Negatively, it lies in the absence of any indications that the printer's copy was a promptbook or a scribal copy annotated by the stage-manager in preparation for use in the theatre. Though one need not assume that a dramatist's final draft was always rewritten by the theatre scribe before the making of the promptbook, since the author's copy was sometimes clear enough to deliver to the licenser for his reading and then to the stage manager for general preparation, yet the quarto of MT gives no indications that the manuscript had been used for these purposes. Probably, then, a scribal copy was made from it for the licenser and for theatre use. Bibliographical (as distinguished from textual) evidence in the quarto reveals that the type-setting was done in two different shops and therefore by four or more compositors.12 The division of the manuscript was probably made by Edward Allde, presumably because of his too many commitments; however, he certainly printed most of the book, sheets C-I. First he seems to have engaged Thomas Purfoot junior, who printed sheets A and B. Such a division of the job was only possible by means of casting off copy, that is, counting and marking the number of manuscript lines that should fill each page of print. The casting was probably done in Allde's shop; but it was done too rapidly. When Allde's compositors later came to set sheets C-I, they cast off again and found the necessity of setting 38 lines per page (instead of the 36 lines prevalent in A and B) in order to avoid running over into sheet K, which the publisher did not wish to pay for. This exigency in the printing has not resulted, however, in any more serious corruption than perhaps the loss of one or two entries. The confusion of prose and verse which is observable in a number of places in the quarto does not result from the printers' carelessness, but is plausibly to be attributed to Middleton's use of small capitals or minuscules at the heads of lines, his crowding of lines into small space, and his occasional completion of verse lines at the left margin. During the printing stop-press corrections were made with 12

"The First Edition of 'Your Five Gallants' and of 'Michaelmas Term*", The Library, 5th series, VIII (1953), 26-29, and "Dividing the Copy" (note 11, above).

INTRODUCTION

21

normal frequency and freedom. Of the total of 36 press variants 18 were made in sheets A and B by Purfoot's compositors. Allde's men scattered 18 through six formes, outer and inner D, outer and inner E, outer G, and inner I. In fact, outer E received a second correction. In both shops the correctors may have occasionally consulted the manuscript, but more often they followed their own taste in correctting trifling errors. The second edition, also in quarto, was published in 1630 by Richard Meighen (to whom Johnson had transferred his right) and printed by Thomas Harper. It is a page-for-page and line-for-line reprint with a few consistent modernizations of spelling. The few textual changes of consequence were not made by Middleton (who died in 1627); they appear to be only compositorial corrections of what were deemed mistakes in the first quarto. Obviously, the essential text of the play is the first quarto. The present edition is based on collation of the nine American copies and the British Museum copy of the 1607 edition. To Greg's list of eleven known copies of that quarto may be added the Quaritch and White Weld copies and a second one in the Folger Shakespeare Library. 13

13

Greg, Bibliography, I, 375.

TEXT

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

The Induction The four law terms - Michaelmas, Hilary, Easter, and Trinity A Boy, a Poor Fellow, a Page, and a Pander The Play Richard Easye, a gentleman of Essex Ephestian Quomodo, a woolen draper of London Shortyard 1 Q U 0 m 0 ( j 0 > s henchmen Falselight J Rerrage Salewood gallants Cockstone Andro Gruill, alias Lethe, a Scots adventurer Dick Hellgill, Lethe's pander The Father of the Country Wench Sim, Quomodo's son Dustbox, a scrivener A Judge A Drawer, Tailor, Servant to Quomodo, Page to Shortyard, Livery of the Drapers' Guild, Boys of Christ's Hospital, Mourners, Officers Tomazin, Quomodo's wife A Country Wench who becomes a courtesan

P. 1

TEXT

The Mother of Andro Gruill Susan, Quomodo's daughter Mistress Combings, a tire-woman Winefrede, Tomazin's maid An Old Mother, friend to Tomazin The Time: About 1604. The Scene: Several places in London. Inductio.

23 P. 2

Enter Michaelmas Terme in a whitish Cloake, new come up out of the countrey, a Boye bringing his Gowne after him! Michaelmas. Boye? Boye. Here sir! Michaelmas. Lay by my conscience, give mee my Gowne, That weede is for the country, 5 We must be civill now, and match our Evill, Who first made Civill, blacke; he pleas'd the Devill; So; now know I where I am, me thinkes already I graspe best part of the Autumnian blessing In my contentious fadome, my hand's free, From wronger and from wronged I have fee, 10 And what by sweat from the rough earth they drawe, Is to enrich this silver harvest, Lawe, And so through wealthy variance, and fat brawle, The Barne is made but Steward to the Hall; P. 3 Come they up thicke inough? 15 Boye. Oh like hops and harlots sir! Michaelmas. Why do'st thou couple them? Boye. Oh very aptlye, for as the hop well boiled will make a man not stand uppon his leggs: so the harlot in time will leave a man no leggs to stand uppon! 20 Michaelmas. Such another and bee my heyre, I have no Childe, Yet have I wealth would redeeme beggery, I thinke it be a curse both here and forraine,

24

MICHAELMAS TERM

Where bags are fruitful'st, there the womb's most barren, The poore ha's all our children, we their wealth; Shall I be prodigali when my life cooles, Make those my heyres whome I have beggar'd ; Fooles? It would be wondrous, rather beggar more, Thou shalt have heyres enow, thou keep'st a whore, And here comes kindred too with no meane purses, Yet strive to be still blest with Clients curses.

Musicke playing

25

30

Enter the other 3. Termes, the first bringing in a fellowe poore, which the other 2. advanceth, giving him rich Apparell, a page, and a pandar. Exit [Fellow].

Michaelmas. What subtiltie have we here? a fellowe Shrugging for lifes kind benefits, shift and heate, Crept up in 3. Termes, wrapt in silke and silver, So well appointed too with Page and Pandar, It was a happy gale that blew him hether. 1. Thou father of the Termes haile to thee. 2. May much contention still keepe with thee. 3. Many new fooles come up and fee thee. 2. Let e'm paye deere ynough that see thee. 1. And like Asses use such men, When their load's off, turne e'm to graze agen. 2. And may our wish have full effect, Many a suite, and much neglect. 3. And as it hath beene often found, Let the Clients cups come round. 2. Helpe your poore kinsmen when you ha got e'm. You may drinke deepe, leave us the bottom. 3. Or when there is a lambe falne in, Take you the lambe, leave us the skin. Michaelmas. Your dutie and regard hath mov'd us, Never till now wee thought you lov'd us, Take comfort from our words, and make no doubt, You shall have suites come sixteen times about.

P. 4 35

40

45

50

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All. We humbly thanke the patron of our hopes. Exeunt. 55 Michaelmas. With what a vassaile-appetite they Gnawe, On our reversions; and are proud, Coldly to tast our meates, which eight returnes Serve in to us as courses; One day our writs like wilde-fowle flye abroad, P. 5 And then returne or'e Cities, Townes, and Hills, 61 With Clyents like dryed strawes betweene their bills; And 'tis no few, birds picke to build their Neasts, Nor no small money that keeps Drabs and Feasts! But Gentlemen, to spread my selfe open unto you, in 65 cheaper Termes I salute you, for ours have but sixpenny fees all the yeare long, yet wee dispatch you in two howers, without demur; your Suites hang not long here after Candles be lighted: Why we call this play by such a deere and chargeable Title, Michaelmas Tearme? Knowe it consents 70 happilye to our purpose, tho perhaps faintlie to the interpretation of many; for he that expects any great quarrels in Lawe to bee handled here, will be fondly deceaved, this onely presents those familiar accidents, which happend in Towne in the circumference of those sixe weekes, whereof 75 Michaelmas Terme is Lord: Sat sapienti, I hope there's no fooles i'th house! Exit [with Boy]. [Actus Primus.] Enter at one dore Maister Rerrage, meeting Maister Salewood. Salewood. What Master Rerrage? Rerrage. Master Salewood? Exceedingly well met in Towne, comes your Father up this Terme? Salewood. Why he was here three dayes before the Exchequer gapte. Rerrage. Fye, such an earlie Termer? Salewood. Hee's not to bee spoke withall, I dare not aske him blessing, till the last of November. Rerrage. And how looks thy little venturing Coosen?

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Salewood. Faith like a Lute that ha's all the stringes broke, no bodie will meddle with her. Rerrage. Fye, there are Doctors enow in Towne will string her againe, and make her sound as sweete as ere shee did, is shee not married yet? Salewood. Sh'as no lucke, some may better steale a horse than others looke on. I have knowen a virgin of five bastardes wedded, faith when all's donne we must bee faine to marrie her into the North I'me affrayd. Rerrage. But will shee passe so thinke you? Salewood. Puh, any thinge that is warme ynough is good ynough for them; so it come in the likenes, tho the Devill be in't, the'ile venture the fiering. Rerrage. They're worthy spirits yfaith, heard you the Newes? Salewood. Not yet. Rerrage. Mistris Difficult is newly falne a widdowe. Salewood. Say true, is Master Difficult the Lawyer dead? Rerrage. Easilie dead sir. Salewood. Pray when died hee? Rerrage. What a question's that? when should a Lawyer dye but in the vacation, hee ha's no leisure to die in the Tearme-time, beside the Noyse there would fetch him againe. Salewood. Knew you the nature of his disease? Rerrage. Faith some say he dyed of an old griefe he had, that the vacation was foureteene weekes long. Salewood. And very likely. I knew 'twould kill him at last, t'as troubled him a long time, hee was one of those that would faine have brought in the heresie of a fift Tearme, often crying with a loud voice, oh why should we loose Bartholmew weeke? Rerrage. He savours, stop your Nose, no more of him. Enter master Cockstone, a Gentleman, meeting master Easeye of Essex. Cockstone. Young maister Easye, let me salute you sir, when came you?

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Easye. I have but Inn'd my horse since, master Cockstone. Cockstone. You seldome visit London master Easye, But now your Fathers dead tis your onely course, Here's gallants of all sizes, of all lasts, Here you may fit your foote, make choyse of those Whome your affection may rejoyce in. Easye. You have easily possest me I am free, Let those live hindes that know not libertie. Cockstone. Master Rerrage? Easye. Good master Salewood, I am proud of your society. Rerrage. What gentleman might that bee? Cockstone. One master Esay, h'as good land in Essex, A faire free-brested Gentleman, somewhat too open, Bad in man, worse in woman, The Gentrye-fault at first, he is yet fresh And wants the Citie powdring, but what newes? I'st yet a match twixt master Qomodoes The rich Drapers daughter and your selfe? Rerrage. Faith sir, I am vildly rivald! Cockstone. Vildly? by whome? Rerrage. One Andrewe Lethe crept to a little warmth, And now so proud that he forgets all stormes, One that nere wore apparell, but like ditches 'Twas cast before hee had it, now shines bright In rich embroderies, him master Quomodo affects, The daughter him, the mother only mee, I rest most doubtfull, my side being weakest. Cockstone. Yet the mothers side Being surer than the Fathers, it may prove, „Men pleade for money best, women for love. Rerrage. Slid, master Quomodo? Cockstone. How then, affraid of a woollen draper. Rerrage. He warn'd mee his house, and I hate hee should see me abroad! [They all retire.] [Enter] Quomodo with his two spirits, Shortyard and Falselight.

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Quomodo. Oh my 2. spirits Shortyard and Falselight, you that have so enricht me, I have industrie for you both? P. 9 80 Shortyard. Then doe you please us best Sir. Quomodo. Wealthy employment. Shortyard. You make me itch sir. Quomodo. You Falselight as I have directed you. Falselight. I am nimble. Quomodo. Goe, make my course commodities looke sleeke, 85 With subtile art beguile the honest eye, Be neere to my trap-windowe, cunning Falselight. Falselight. I never failde it yet. Exit Falselight. Quomodo. I know thou didst not; But now to thee my true and secret Shortyard, Whome I dare trust ee'n with my wife, 90 Thou nere didst mistris harme, but master, good, There are too few of thy name Gentlemen, And that we feele, but Citizens abundance, I have a taske for thee my pregnant spirit, To exercise thy poynted wits uppon. 95 Shortyard. Give it me, for I thirst. Quomodo. Thine eare shall drinke it, Know then .I have not spent this long Vacation Onely for pleasures sake, give me the man Who out of recreation culls advantage, 100 Dives into seasons, never walkes, but thinkes, Ne rides, but plots, my journey was toward Essex. Shortyard. Most true? Quomodo. Where I have seene what I desire. P. 10 Shortyard. A woman? Quomodo. Puh; a woman, yet beneath her, That which shee often treades on, yet commands her: 105 Land, fayre neate Land. Shortyard. What is the marke you shoote at? Quomodo. Why the fayrest to cleave the heire in twayne, I meane his Title to murder his estate, Stifle his right in some detested prison, There are means and waies enow to hooke in Gentry, 110

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Besides our deadlye enmitye which thus stands: They're busye 'bout our wives, We 'bout their Lands. Shortyard. Your revenge is more glorious, To be a cuckold is but for one life, When land remaines to you, your heire, or wife! 115 Quomodo. Ah sirrah, doe we sting e'm, this fresh gallant rode newly up before me! Shortyard. I beseech his name. Quomodo. Young master Easye. Shortyard. Easye? It may fall right. 120 Quomodo. I have enquir'd his haunt, stay, ha, I, that, 'tis, thats he, thats he! Shortyard. Happilie! Quomodo. Observe, take surely note of him, hee's fresh and free, shift thy selfe speedily into the shape of 125 gallantrye, lie swell thy purse with angels, keepe foote P. 11 by foote with him, out-dare his expences, flatter, dice, and brothell to him, give him a sweete tast of Sensuality, traine him to every wastfull sin, that he may quickly neede health, but especially money, ravish him with a dame or 130 twoo, bee his bawde for once, lie bee thine for ever, drinke drunke with him, creepe into bed to him, kisse him and undoo him, my sweete spirit. Shortyard. Let your care dwell in me, soone shall it shine, What subtiltie is in man, that is not mine. {Exit. Quomodo. O my most cherefull spirit, goe, dispatch, Gentrye is the cheife fish we Tradesmen catch. (Exit. Easye. What's here? Salewood. Oh, they are bils for Chambers. Easye. Against Saint Andrewes, at a Painters house, 140 ther's a faire chamber ready furnisht to bee let, the house not onely endewed with a newe fashion forepart, but which is more convenient for a Gentleman, with a very provident backe-doore. Salewood. Why here's vertue still; I like that thing 145 that's necessary, as well as pleasant. [Enter Lethe and read the bills.]

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Cockstone. What newes in yonder paper? Rerrage. Ha? seeke you for newes, there's for you! Salewood. Whose this? in the name of the blacke Angels, Andro Grulli. Rerrage. No, Andro Lethe! Salewood. Lethe? Rerrage. Has forgot his fathers name, poore Walter Gruill that begot him, fed him, and brought him up. Salewood. Not hither. Rerrage. No; 'Twas from his thoughts, hee brought him up belowe. Salewood. But do's he passe for Lethe. Rerrage. Mongst strange eyes That no more knowe him, then he knowes himselfe, Thats nothing now, for master Andro Lethe, A gentleman of most received parts, Forgetfulnes, Lust, Impudence, and Falshood, And one especiall Courtly quality, To wit, no wit at all, I am his Riuall For Quomodoes daughter, but hee knowes it not. Salewood. Has spyed us ore his paper. Rerrage. Oh thats a warning to make our duties ready. Cockstone. Salute him, hang him. Rerrage. Puh, wish his health a while, heele be laide shortly, let him gorge Venison for a time, our doctors will bring him to dry mutton; seeme respective to make his pride swell like a Toade with dewe. Salewood. Master Lethe! Rerrage. Sweete master Lethe. Lethe. Gentlemen your pardon, I remember you not. Salewood. Why we supt with you last night sir! Lethe. O cry you mercy, 'tis so long agoe, I had quite forgot you, I must be forgiven, Acquaintaince, deere societie, suites and things, Do so flowe to mee; That had I not the better memorie! Twould be a wonder I should know my selfe,

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, , Esteeme is made of such a dizzy mettall; I have receiv'd of many, gifts ore night Whome I have forgot ere morning, meeting the men, I wisht em to remember me agen, 185 They doo so: then if I forget agen, I know what helpt before, that will helpe then, This is my course, for memorie I have been told Twentie preserves, the best I find is gold; Ey truely! are you not knights yet, Gentlemen. 190 Salewood. Not yet! Lethe. No, that must bee lookt into, tis your owne fault, I have some store of Venison, where shall we devoure it, Gentlemen? Salewood. The home were a fit place. 195 Lethe. For Venison, fit, The home having chast it, At the home weele Rime to that.—— Cockstone. Tast it. P. 14 Salewood. Wast it. Rerrage. Cast it. Lethe. Thats the true rime indeed, wee hunt our Venison twice I tell you, first out a'th parke, next out a'th Bellie. 200 Cockstone. First dogs take paines to make it fit for men, Then men take payne to make it fit for dogs. Lethe. Right. Cockstone. Why this is kindnes, a kind Gallant, you, And love to give the dogs more than their due, We shall attend you sir. Lethe. I pray doo so. 205 Salewood. The home. Lethe. Easily remembred that you know! Exeunt [except Lethe]. But now unto my present busines, the Daughter yeildes, and Quomodo consents, onely my mistris Quomodo, her mother without regard runs full against mee, and sticks hard! Is there no law for a woman that will run upon a man at her 210 owne apperill? Why should shee not consent, knowing my

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state, my sudaine fortunes, I can command a custerd, and other bakemeats, death of sturgeon, I could keepe house with nothing, what friends have I? how well am I beloved, ee'n quite throughout the scullery, not consent? tis ee'n as I have writ, lie be hangd, and shee love mee not herselfe & wold rather preserve me, as a private friend to her own pleasures, than any way advance her daughter upon me to beguile herselfe, then how have I relieved her in that poynt, let me peruse this letter. Good mistris Quomodo, or rather as I hope ere the Terme end, mother Quomodo, since only your consent keeps aloofe off and hinders the copulation of your daughter, what may I thinke, but that it is a meere affection in you, doating uppon some small inferiour vertue of mine, to draw me in upon your self, if the case stand so, I have comfort for you: for this you may well assure your selfe, that by the marriage of your daughter I have the better meanes and opportunity to your selfe, and without the least suspition. This is mooving stuffe, and that workes best with a Citizens wife, but who shall I get to convey this now: my Page I ha lent forth, my Pandar I have imployd about the country, to looke out some third sister, or entice some discontented Gentlewoman from her husband, whome the laying out of my appetite shall maintaine, nay lie deale like an honourable Gentleman, He bee kinde to women, that which I gather i'th day, He put into their purses at night, you shall have no cause to raile at me, no faith, He keepe you in good fashion Ladyes, no meaner men then knights shall ransome home your gownes, and recover your smocks, He not dallye with you! some poore widdow woman would come as a necessary bawd now: [Enter Mother Gruill] and see where fitly comes my mother! curse oif poverty, do's shee come up to shame me, to betray my birth, and cast soyle upon my new Suite, let her passe me, He take no notice of her, Scurvye murrey— Carsey! Mother. By your leave and like your worship. Lethe. Then I must proudly venture it; to me good woman.

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Mother. I beseech one word with your worship. Lethe. Prethe be breife then. Mother. Pray can your worship tell me any tydings of one Andro Gruill, a poore sonne of mine owne. Lethe. I know a gallant Gentleman of the name, one master Andro Gruill and well receivde amongst Ladyes. Mother. Thats not he then! Hee is no Gentleman that I meane. Lethe. Good woman if he be a Gruill, hee's a Gentleman i'th mornings: thats a Gentleman a'th first, you canot tel me Mother. No truely, his father was an honest upright Tooth-drawer. Lethe. O my teeth. Mother. An't please your worship, I have made a sore journey out, all this vacant time, to come up and see my sonne Andro, poore Walter Gruill his Father has layd his life, and left mee a lone woman, I have not one husband in all the world, therefore my comming up is for reliefe an't like your worship, hoping that my sonne Andro is in some place about the Kitchin. Lethe. Kitchin, puh, fah. Mother. Or a servingman to some Knight of worship. Lethe. Oh let mee not indure her! Knowe you not mee good woman? Mother. Alasse, an't pleease your worship, I never sawe such a glorious suite since the hower I was kersend. Lethe. Good, shee knowes me not, my glory do's disguise mee, Beside my poorer name being drencht in Lethe, Sheele hardly understand me, what a fresh ayre can doo! I may employ her as a private drudge, To passe my letters and secure my lust, And nere be noted mine, to shame my blood, And drop my stayning birth uppon my raiment, Faith good woman you will hardly get to the speech of master Andro, I tell you.

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Mother. No? Marry hang him, and like your Worship, I 285 have knowen the day when no body carde to speake to him! Lethe. You must take heed how you speak ill of him now I can tell you; hee's so employde. Mother. Imployde for what? 290 Lethe. For his haviour, wisdome, and other vertues. Mother, Hee vertues? no tis well knowen, his father was too poore a man to bring him up to any vertues; hee can scarce write and reade. Lethe. Hee's the better regarded for that amongst Courtiers, for thats but a needy qualitie! P. 18 Mother. If it be so, then heele be great shortly, for 296 he has no good parts about him. Lethe. Well good woman, or mother, or what you will. Mother. Alack the day, I know your worship scornes to cal me mother: tis not a thing fit for your worship indeede, 300 such a simple old woman as I am. Lethe. In pitty of thy long journey, there's six-pence British: tend upon me, I have busines for you. Mother. He waite upon your Worship. Lethe. Two pole off at least. 305 Mother. I am a cleane ould woman, an't like your Worship. Lethe. It goes not by cleannes here good woman, if you were fowler, so you were braver, you might come nearer. (Exit. Mother. Nay and that be the fashion, I hope I shall get it shortly, there's no woman so ould but she may learne; 310 and as an old Lady delights in a young Page or monckey, so there are young Courtiers will be hungry upon an old woman, I warrant you. Exit. Enter Lethes Pandar [Dick Hellgill] with a Country wench. 1.2 Pander. Come, leave your puling and sighing. Wench. Beshrew you now, why did you entice me from my father. Pander. Why? to thy better advancement, wouldst thou a

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pretty beautifull-Juicy squall, live in a poore thrumbd house i'th cuntry in such servile-habiliments, and may well passe for a gentlewoman i'th Citie, do's not 5 hundred do so thinkst thou, and with worse faces, oh, now in these latter dayes, the Devill raygning tis an age for cloven creatures? but why sad now? yet indeed tis the fashion of any Curtizan to be sea-sicke i'th first Voyage, but at next shee proclaimes open wars, like a beaten souldier: why Northampton-shire Lasse do'st dreame of virginity now? remember a loose-bodied Gowne wench, & let it goe, wires, & tyres, bents and bums, felts and falls, thou that shalt deceive the world, that Gentlewomen indeed shall not be knowen from others; I have a master to whome I must prefer thee, after the aforesayd decking, Lethe by name, a man of one most admired property, he can both love thee and for thy better advancement be thy Pandar himselfe, an ex'lent sparke of humility. Wench. Well heaven forgive you, you traine me up too't. Pander. Why I doe acknowledge it, and I thinke I doe you a pleasure in't. Wench. And if I should prove a harlot now, I should be bound to curse you. Pander. Bound? nay and you prove a harlot, youle be loose ynough. Wench. If I had not a desire to goe like a gentlewoman, you should be hangd, ere you should get me too't I warrant you. Pander. Nay thats certain, nor a 1000. more of you, I know, you are all chast ynough, till one thing or other tempt you! deny a Sattin gowne and you dare now? Wench. You knowe I have no power to doo't, and that makes you so wilfull: for what woman is there such a beast that will deny any thing that is good. Pander. True they will not, most dissembler. Wench. No, and shee beare a brave minde shee will not I warrant you. Pander. Why, therfore take heart, faint not at all,

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Women nere rise, but when they fall, Let a man breake, hee's gone, blowen up, A womans breaking sets her up, Virginitie is no Citie-Trade, 45 You're out a'th Freedome, when you're a mayde, Downe with the lattis tis but thin, Let courser beauties worke within, Whome the light mocks: thou art faire and fresh, The guilded flies, will light upon thy flesh. 50 Wench. Beshrew your sweet enchantments, you have wun. Pander. [Aside] How easily soft women are undone: So farewell holesome weeds where treasure pants, And welcome silkes, where lyes disease and wants: Come wench, now flow thy Fortunes in to blesse thee, 55 lie bring thee where thou shalt taught to dresse thee! Wench. O as soone as may be, I am in a swone till I P. 21 bee a gentlewoman, and you know what flesh is mans meate, tell it be drest. Pander. Most certain, no more, a woman. Exeunt. 60 Actus Secundus. Enter Rerrage, Salewood, Lethe, Easye, with Shortyard alias Blastfield, at dice. Rerrage. Gentlemen I ha sworne lie change the roome: dice? Devils. Lethe. You see I'me patient gentlemen. Salewood. I, the feinds in't, you're patient, you put up all. Rerrage. Come set me gentlemen! Shortyard. An Essex gentlemen sir? Easye. An unfortunate one sir. Shortyard. I'me bold to salute you sir! you knowe not master Alsup there. Easye. Oh entirely well. Shortyard. Indeed sir. Easye. Hees second to my bosome.

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Shortyard. lie give you that comfort then sir, you must not want money as long as you are in towne sir. Easye. No sir? Shortyard. I am bound in my love to him to see you furnisht, and in that comfort I recover my salute agen sir. Easye. Then I desire to be more deere unto you. Shortyard. [Aside] I rather study to be deare unto you boy, fill some wine. 1 knew not what faire impressier I receivd, at first, but I began to affect your societie very speedily. Easye. I count my selfe the happier. Shortyard. To master Alsup sir, to whose remembrance, I could love to drinke till I were past remembrance. Easye. I shall keepe Christmasse with him sir, where your health shal likewise undoubtedly be remembred, and thereupon I pledge you: 1 would sue for your name sir. Shortyard. Your suite shall end in one Tearme sir: my name is Blastfield. Easye. Kind maister Blastfield, your deerer acquaintance. Rerrage. Nay come, will ye draw in Gentlemen? set me. Easye. Faith I'me scatterd. Shortyard. Sir, you shall not give out so meanely of your selfe in my companie for a Million: make Such privie to your disgrace? you'r a Gentleman of faire fortunes; keep me your reputation; set 'em all, there's crownes for you. Easye. Sir you binde me infinitely in these courtesies. Shortyard. You must alwayes have a care of your Reputation here in Town maister Easie, altho you ride downe with nothing, it skills not. Easye. I'me glad you tell me that yet, then I'me in different. Well, come: who throwes? I set all these. Shortyard, Why, well said. Salewood. This same maister Lethe here begins to undo us agen. Lethe. Ah sir, I came not hither but to win. Shortyard. And then you'le leave us, thats your fashion.

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Lethe. Hee's base that visits not his friends. Shortyard. But hee's more base that carries out his winnings. None will doe so but those have base beginnings. Lethe. It is a thing in use and ever was, I passe this time. Shortyard. I wonder you should passe. 55 And that you're sufferd. Lethe. Tut, the Dice are ours, Then wonder not at those that have most powrs. Rerrage. The Divell and his Angels. Lethe. Are these they? Welcome deere Angels, where y'are curst nere stay. Salewood. Heere's lucke. 60 Easye. Lets search him Gentlemen, I think he wears a smock. Shortyard. I knew the time, he wore not halfe a shirt, just like a Pee, Easye. No, how did he for the Rest? 65 Shortyard. Faith he compounded with a couple of Napkins P. 24 at Barnet, and so trus'd up the lower parts. Easye. Twas a prettie shift yfaith. Shortyard. But maister Lethe ha's forgot that too. Easye. A mischiefe on't to loose all: I could 70 Shortyard, Nay but good Ma. Easie, do not do your self that tirannie I beseech you, I must not ha you alter your body now for the Purge of a little money: you undoe me and you doe. Easye. Twas al I brought up with me, I protest master 75 Blastfield, all my rent till next quarter. Shortyard. Pox of money, talke not on't I beseech you, what said I to you? Masse I am out of cash my selfe too, Boy. Boy. Anon sir. 80 Shortyard. Run presently to master Gum the Mercer, and wil him to tell out two or three hundred pound for mee, or more according as he is furnisht: lie visit him ith morning say.

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Boy. It shall be said sir. 83 Shortyard. Doe you heare boy? Boy. Yes sir. Shortyard. If master Gum be not sufficiently readie, call uppon master Profit the Goldsmith. Boy. It shall be done sir. 90 Shortyard. Boy. Boy. I know I was not sent yet: now is the time. P. 25 Shortyard. Let them both rest till another occasion: you shall not need to run so farre at this time, take one nier hand to to Ma. Quomodo the Draper, and will him to 95 furnish mee instantly. Boy. Now I goe sir. [Exit.] Easye. It seemes y'are wel knowne master Blastfield, and your credite verie spacious here ith Citie. 100 Shortyard. Master Easie, let a man beare himselfe portly, the whorsons will creepe to him a'th their bellies, and their wives a'th their backs: ther's a kinde of bolde grace expected throughout all the parts of a Gentleman: then for your observances, a man must not so much as spit but within line and fashion. I tell you what I ha done: 105 sometimes I carrie my water all London over, onely to deliver it proudly at the Standard, and do I passe altogether unnoted thinke you? No, a man can no sooner peep out his head, but ther's a bow bent at him out of some watch tower, or other. 110 Easye. So readily sir. Shortyard. Push, you know a bowe's quickley readie, tho a Gun be long a charging, and will shoote five times to his once,-Come, you shall beare your selfe Jovially: take heede of setting your lookes to your losses, but 115 rather smile uppon your ill lucke, and invite 'em to morrow to another breakefast of Bones. Easye. Nay ile forsweare dicing. P. 26 Shortyard. What? peace? I am ashamed to heare you: will you ceasse in the first losse, shewe mee one Gentle120 man that ere did it? Fie uppon't I must use you to companie

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I perceyve, youde be spoilde else: forsweare Dice? I would your friends heard you yfaith. Easye. Nay I was but in jest sir. Shortyard. I hope so, what woulde Gentlemen say of you? there goes a Gull that keepes his money, I would not have such a report goe on you, for the Worlde as long as you are in my companie. Why man fortune alters in a Minute, I ha knowne those ha.ve recovered so much in an houre, their purses were never sicke after. Rerrage. Oh worse then consumption of the Liver! consumption of the patrimonie. Shortyard, How now? marke their humours master Easie. Rerrage. Forgive me, my posteritie, yet ungotten. Shortyard. Thats a penitent Maudlen Dicer. Rerrage. Few knowe the sweets that the plaine life allowes. Vilde sonne that surfets of his fathers browes. Shortyard, Laugh at him master Easie. Easye. Ha, ha ha. Salewood. lie bee damn'd and these bee not the bones of some queane that couzened me in her life, and now consumes mee after her death. Shortyard. Thats the true-wicked-blasphemous, and soulshuddering Dicer, that will curse you all service time, & attribute his ill lucke alwayes to one Drab or other.

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[Enter Hellgill to Lethe.] Lethe. Dick, Hell-gill: the hapie Newes. Pander. I have her for you sir. Lethe. Peace, what is she? Pander. Yong, beautifull and plump, a delicate peece of sin. Lethe. Of what parentage? Pander. Oh a Gentlewoman of a great house. Lethe. Fie, fie. Pander. [Aside] Shee newly came out of a Barne; yet too

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good for a Tooth-drawers sonne. Lethe. Is she wife or maide? Pander. That which is daintiest, Maide. Lethe. Ide rather shee'd beene a wife. Pander. A wife sir, why? Lethe. Oh Adulterie is a great deale sweeter in my minde. Pander. [Aside] Diseases gnaw thy bones. I thinke she has deservd to be a wife sir. Lethe. That will move well. Pander. [Aside] Her firstlings shall be mine. Swine looke but for the huskes, the meate be thine.

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[Shortyard's Page returns.] Shortyard. How now Boy? Boy. Maister Quomodo takes your worships greeting exceeding kindely, and in his commendations returnes this answere, that your worship shall not be so apt to receive it, as hee willing to lend it. Shortyard. Why, we thanke him yfaith. Easye. Troth, and you ha reason to thanke him sir. t'was a verie friendly answere. Shortyard. Push, a Gentleman that keeps his daies even here ith City (as I my selfe watch to doe) shall have many of those answeres in a twelvemonth, maister Easie. Easye. I promise you sir I admire your carriage, and begin to hold a more rev'rend respect of you. Shortyard. Not so I beseech you, I give my friends leave to bee inward with me,—-will you walke Gentlemen? Lethe. Wee're for you. [To Hellgill] Present her with this Jewell my first token.

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Enter a Drawer. Drawer. There are certaine Country-men without enquiring for maister Rerage, and maister Salewood. Rerrage. Tennants!

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Sale-wood. Thou reviv'st us Rascall. Rerrage. When's our next meeting Gentlemen? Shortyard. To morrow night, This Gentleman, by me invites you all, Do you not Maister Easie? Easye. Freely sir. 190 Salewood. We doe imbrace your love [Aside] a pure P. 29 fresh Gull. Shortyard. Thus make you men at parting duetifull, And rest beholding to you, tis the slight To be remembred, when you're out of sight. 195 Easye. A prettie vertue. Exeunt. Enter the Countrie- Wenches Father, that was entic'd for Lethe. Father. Where shall I seeke her now? oh if she knew The Dangers that attend on womens lives, She would rather lodge under a poore thatcht Roofe Then under carved seelings: she was my joy, And all content that I receiv'd from life, My deere and onely Daughter: What saies the Note she left, let mee agen With stayeder greefe peruse it Father? wonder not at my so suddaine departure, without your leave or knowledge, thus under pardon I excuse it, had you had knowledge of it, I know you would have sought to restraine it, and hinder me from what I have long desirde, being now happilye preferr'd to a Gentlemans service in London; about Holborne, if you please to send, you may heare well of me As false as she is disobedient, Iv'e made larger inquirie, left no place (Where Gentrie keepes) unsought, yet cannot heare, Which drives me moste into a shamefull feare: Woe worth th'infected cause that makes me visit This man-devouring Cittie——where I spent My unshapen youth, to be my ages cursse,

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And surfetted away my name and state, In swinish Riots, that now being sober, I doe awake, a Begger, 1 may hate her. Whose youth voides wine, his age is curst with water, Oh heavens! I know the price of ill, too well, What the confusions are, in whome they dwell, And how soone Maides are to their Ruins won One minute, and «eternally undone: So in mine may it: may it not be thus? Though she be poore, her honours preceous, May be my present forme, and her fond feare, May chace her from me, if her eye should get me, And therefore as my love and wants advise, lie serve untill I finde her in disguise. Such is my care to fright her from base evils I leave calme state to live amongst you, devils. Lethes Mother enters with Quomodoes wife with the Letter.

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Toma [zin, the wife]. Were these fit wordes thinke you to be sent to anye Cittizens wife, to enjoy the Daughter, and love the mother too for a neede? I would foulye scorne that man, that should love me onely for a neede I tell you: and heere the Knave writes agen, that by the mariage of 5 my Daughter, a has the better meanes and opportunitie to my selfe, hee lies in his Throate like a villaine, he has P. 31 no opportunitie of mee, for all that, tis for his betters to have opportunitie of me, and that he shall well knowe a base proud knave a has forgot how he came up, & brought 10 two of his countrie men to give their words to my husband for a sute of greene Karsey, a has forgot all this. And how does hee appeare to me, when his white Sattin suttes on, but like a Magot crept out of a Nutshell, a faire bodie and a foule necke, those partes that are covered of him, 15 lookes indifferent well, because we cannot see e'm, else for all his clensing, pruning and paring, hee's not worthy a Brokers Daughter, and so tell him.

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Mother. I will indeede forsooth. Tomazin. And as for my Childe, I hope sheele bee ruld in Time, though she be folish yet, & not be carryed away with a cast of Manchets, a Bottle of wine, or a Custard, and so I pray certifie him. Mother. lie doe your errant effectually. Tomazin. Art thou his Ant or his Mother. Alasse 1 am a poore drudge of his. Tomazin. Faith and thou wert his Mother, he would make thee his drudge I warrant him. Mother. Marrie out uppon him, sir reverence of your mistrisship. Tomazin. Heer's somewhat for thy paines, fare thee well. Mother. Tis more then he gave me since I came to him. [Exit Mother Gruill.] P.

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Enter Quomodo and his Daughter Su. Quomodo. How now, what prating have we heare? whispers, dumshowes? why Tomazin, goo too my shop is not altogether so darke as some of my neighbours, where a man may be made Cuckold at one ende, while hee's measuring with his yard at tother. Tomazin. Onely commendations sent from Maister Lethe your worshipfull Sonne in law that should be. Quomodo. Oh, & that you like not, he that can make us rich in custom, strong in friends, happy in suites, bring us into all the romes a sundaies, from the leads to the seller, pop us in with Venison til wee cracke agen, & send home the rest in an honorable Napkin this man you like not forsooth? Su. But I like him father. Quomodo. My blessing goe with thy liking. Su. A number of our Cittizens hold our credit by't to come home drunk, and say wee ha beene at Court: then how much more credit i'st to be drunke there indeede? Quomodo. Tut, thy Mothers a foole pray whats Maister

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Rerage whom you pleade for so? Tomazin. Why, first he is a Gentleman. Quomodo. I, hee's often first a Gentleman that's last a begger. Su. My father tels you true, what should I do with a gentleman, I knowe not which way to lye with him. Quomodo. Tis true too thou knowst beside, we undoe Gentlemen dayly. Tomazin. That makes so few of e'm marrie with our Daughters, unles it be one green foole or other: next, Master Rerage has land & living, tother but his walke i'th street, & his snatching dyet, hee's able to entertaine you in a faire house of his owne, tother in some nooke or corner, or place us behind the cloath like a company of Puppets: at his house you shall be serv'd curiously, sit downe & eate your meate with leasure, there we must be glad to take it standing, & without either salt, cloath, or trencher, and say we are befriended too. Quomodo. Oh, that gives a Cittizen a better appetite then his Garden. Su. So say I Father, me thinkes it does me most good when I take it standing, I know not how all womens mindes are.

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Enter Falslight. Quomodo. Faith I thinke they are al of thy minde for 75 that thing, how now Falslight? Falselight. I have descri'd my fellow Short-yard, alias Blastfield, at hand with the Gentleman. Quomodo. Oh my sweete Short-yard! Daughter, get you up to your Virginalls: by your leave Mistris Quomodo. [Exit Sk.] 80 Tomazin. Why I hope I may sit ith shop, may I not? Quomodo. That you may, and welcome sweete honey-thye, P. 34 but not at this season, there's a Buck to be strucke. Tomazin. [Aside] Well, since i'me so expresly forbidden, ile watch above ith gallerie, but ile see your knaverie. Exit. 85

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Quomodo. Be you preparde as I tell you. Falselight. You neare feard me. Exit. Quomodo. Oh that sweete, neate, comely, proper, delicate parcell of land, like a fine Gentlewoman 'ith waste: not so great as prettie, prettie: the Trees in Summer whistling, the silver waters by the Bankes harmoniouslye gliding, I should have beene a Scholler, an excellent place for a student: fit for my Sonne that lately commenc't at Cambridge, whom now I have plac'd at Innes of Court: Thus wee that sildome get Landes honestly, must leave our heires to inherit our knaverie: but whist, one turne about my shoppe and meete with e'm.

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Enter Maister Easie, with Short-yard, alias Blastfield. Easye. Is this it sir? Shortyard. I, let me see, this is it: signe of three Knaves, tis it! Quomodo. Doe you heare sir, what lacke you Gentlemen? see good Kersies or broad-cloathes heere, I pray come neere Maister Blastfield? Shortyard. I thought you would know me anon.

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[Enter Tomazin above.] Quomodo. You're exceeding welcome to Towne sir, your worship must pardon me, tis alwaies mistie weather in our shops heere: we are a Nation the Sunne nere shines upon,Came this Gentleman with you? Shortyard. O salute him fairely, hee's a kinde Gentleman, a verie inward of mine. Quomodo. Then I crye you mercy sir, y'are especially welcome. Easye. I returne you thankes sir. Quomodo. But how shall I doe for you now Maister Blastfield? Shortyard. Why whats the matter?

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Quomodo. It is my greatest affliction at this instant, I am not able to furnish you. Shortyars. How maister Quomodo, pray say not so, sl'ud you undoe me then. Quomodo. Upon my Religion Maister Blastfield, bonds lye forfette in my hands, I expect the receite of a thousand everie houre, and cannot yet set eye of a penny. Shortyard. That's strange me thinkes. Quomodo. Tis mine owne pittie that plots against me Maister Blastfield, they knowe I have no conscience to take the forfeture, and that makes e'm bould with my mercie. Easye. I am sorry for this. Quomodo. Neverthelesse, if I might intreate your delay but the age of three daies, to expresse my sorrow now, I would double the summe, and supply you with foure or five hundred. Shortyard. Let me see, three daies. Quomodo. I good sir, and it may be possible. Easye. Doe you heare Maister Blastfield? Shortyard. Ha? Easye. You knowe i've alreadie envited all the Gallants to sup with me tonight. Shortyard. That's true yfaith. Easye. Twill be my everlasting shame, if I have no monye to maintaine my bountie. [Aside] I look't Shortyard. I nere thought upon that still when that should come from him, we have stricktly examined our expences, it must not be three daies Maister Quomodo. Quomodo. No, then i'me afraide twill be my griefe sir. Easye. Maister Blastfield, ile tell you what you may doe now. Shortyard. What good sweete bedfellow? Easye. Send to Master Goome, or Master Profit, the Mercer and Goldsmith. Shortyard. Masse that was well remembred of thee 1 perceyve the Trout will be a little troublesome ere hee bee catcht, Boy.

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Boy. Here sir. Shortyard. Runne to Master Goome, or Master Profite, and carrie my present occasion of money to em. I runne sir. Exit Boy.] Quomodo. Me thinks Maister Blastfield, you might easily attaine to the satisfaction of 3. dayes, heer's a Gentleman your friend I dare say will see you sufficiently possest till then. Easye. Not I sir, by no meanes: master Blastfield knowes I'me further in want then himselfe, my hope rests all upon him, it stands upon the losse of my credit to Night, if I walke without money. Shortyard. Why maister Quomodo, what a fruitlesse Motion have you put forth, you might wel assure your selfe this gentleman had it not if I wanted it: why our purses are brothers, we desire but equall fortunes: in a word, w'are man and wife, they can but lie together, and so doe we. Easye. As nere as can be yfaith. Shortyard. And to say truth, tis more for the continuing of this Gentlemans credit in Towne, then any incitement from mine owne want only, that I covet to be so immediatly furnisht you shall heare him confesse as much himselfe. Easye. Tis most certaine master Quomodo.

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Enter Boy. Shortyard. O here comes the Boy now: How now Boy, what sayes maister Goome, or maister Profit? Boy. Sir, thei'r both walkt foorth this frostie morning to Brainford, to see a Nurse-childe. Shortyard. A Bastard be it, spite and shame. Easye. Nay, never vex your selfe sweet master Blastfield. Shortyard. Bewitcht I thinke. Quomodo. Doe you heare sir? you can perswade with him. Easye. A little sir. Quomodo. Rather then he should be altogither destitute,

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or be too much a vexation to himselfe, he shall take up a commoditie of cloath of me, tell him. 190 Easye. Why la! by my troth t'was kindly spoken. Quomodo. Two hundred pounds worth upon my Religion say. Shortyard. So disastrously. Easye. Nay, maister Blastfield, you doe not heare what master Quomodo said since, like an honest true Citizen 195 yfaith: rather then you should grow diseasde upon't, you shall take up a commoditie of two hundred pounds worth of cloath. Shortyard. The mealie Moth consume it, would hee ha me turne Pedler now? what should I doe with cloath? 200 Quomodo. Hee's a verie wilfull Gentleman at this Time yfaith: he knowes as well what to doe with it, as I my selfe Iwis: ther's no Merchant in Town but will be greedy upon't, and pay downe mony upo'th naile, thei'l dispatch it over to Middle-borrow presently, and raise double com205 moditie by exchange, if not, you know tis Tearme-time, and Michaelmas Tearm too, the Drapers harvest, for footcloaths, riding suts, walking suits, chamber gownes, and hall P. 39 gownes. Easye. Nay, lie say that, it comes in as fit a time as 210 can be. Quomodo. Nay take me with you agen ere you go sir, I offer him no trash tell him, but present mony, say, where I know some Gentlemen in towne ha beene glad, and are glad at this time, to take up commodities in Hawks hoods, and 215 browne paper. Easye. Oh horrible, are there such fooles in towne? Quomodo. I offer him no trash tell him, upon my Religion you may say, [Aside] Now my sweet Shortyard, now the hungry fish begins to nibble: one end of the worme is in 220 his mouth yfaith. Tomazin above. Tomazin. Why stand I here (as late our gracelesse Dames

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That found no eyes) to see that Gentleman Alive in state and credite executed, Helpe to rip up himselfe, do's all he can, 225 Why am I wife to him that is no man? I suffer in that Gentlemans confusion. Easye. Nay be perswaded in that master Blastfield, tis readie money at the Marchants: beside, the Winter season, and all falls in as pat as can be to helpe it. 230 Shortyard. Well Maister Easie, none but you could have perswaded me to that, come, would you would dispatch then Maister Quomodo, where's this cloath? P. 40 Quomodo. Full and whole within, all of this peece, of my Religion Maister Blastfield, feel't, nay feel't and 235 spare not, Gentlemen! your fingers and your judgement. Shortyard. Clothe's good. Easye. By my troth exceeding good cloath, a good wale t'as. Quomodo. Falselight. [Enter Falselight.] 240 Falselight. I'me neere out 'athe shop sir. Quomodo. Go, call in a Porter presently to carrie away the cloath with the Starre marke, whither will you please to have it carryed Maister Blastfield? 245 Shortyard. Faith to Maister Beggar-land, hee's the onely Marchant now: or his Brother Maister Stilliarddowne, there's little difference. Quomodo. Y'ave hapned upon the money men sir, they and some of their Bretheren I can tell you, will not sticke to offer thirtie thousand pound to be curst still, great 250 monyed men, their stockes lye in the Poores throates: but youle see me sufficiently discharg'd Maister Blastfield ere you depart. Shortyard. You have alwaies found me righteous in that. Quomodo. Falslight. 255 Falselight. Sir. Quomodo. You may bring a Scrivener along with you. Falselight. lie remember that sir. [Exit.] Quomodo. Have you sent for a Cittizen Maister BlastP. 41 field. 260

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Shortyard. No faith not yet Boy! Easye. What must you doe with a Cittizen sir? Shortyard. A custome they're bound to alate by the default of evill debters, no Cittizen must lend money without two bee bound in the bond, the second Man enters but for custome sake. Easye. No, and must hee needes be a Cittizen? Shortyard. Byth masse stay, ile learne that, Maister Quomodo! Quomodo. Sir. Shortyard. Must the second partie that enters into bond onely for fashions sake needs be a Cittizen? what say you to this Gentleman for one? Quomodo. Alasse sir, you know hee's a meere stranger to me, I neither am sure of his going or abiding, hee may Inne heere to Night, and ride away to morrow, (although I graunt the chiefe burden lyes upon you) yet wee are bound to make choice of those we know sir. Shortyard. Why hee's a Gentleman of a prettie living sir. Quomodo. It may be so: yet under both your pardons Ide rather have a Cittizen. Easye. I hope you wil not disparadge me so? tis wel known I have three hundred pound a yeare in Essex. Shortyard. Well saide, to him thy selfe, take him up roundly. Easye. And how doubtfullie so ere you account of me, I doe not thinke but I might make my bond passe for a hundred pound 'ith Citie. Quomodo. What alone sir? Easye. Alone sir: who saies so? perhaps ide send downe for a Tennant or too. Quomodo. I, that's another case sir. Easye. Another case let it be then. Quomodo. Nay, grow not into anger sir. Easye. Not take me into a Bond, as good as you shall, good man Goose-cap.

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Quomodo. Wei Maister Blastfield, because I wil not disgrace the Gentleman, i'me content for once, but we must not make a practise on't. Easye. No sir, now you would you shall not. Quomodo. [Aside] Cuds me, i'me undone, hee's gone agen. Shortyard. [Aside] The Netts broke. Tomazin. [Above] Hold there deere Gentleman. Easye. Deny me that small curtizie? s'foot a very Jew will not deny it me. Shortyard. Now must I catch him warily. Easye. A jest indeede, not take me into a Bond quo they. Shortyard. Maister Easie Marke my words, if it stood not uppon the eternall losse of thy credit against Supper Easye. Masse that's true. Shortyard. The pawning of thy horse for his owne Vittailes. Easye. Right yfaith. Shortyard. And thy utter dissolution amongest Gentlemen for ever. Easye. Pox on't. Shortyard. Quomodo should hang, rot, stinke. Quomodo. [Aside] Sweete boy yfaith. Shortyard. Drop, Dam. Quomodo. [Aside] Excellent Shortyard. Easye. I forgot all this: what meant I to swagger before I had money in my purse? how do's maister Quomodo? is the Bond readie? Quomodo. Oh sir.

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Enter Dustbox the Scrivener. Easye. Come we must be friends, heer's my hand. Quomodo. Give it the Scrivener: here he comes. Dustbox. Good day Maister Quomodo, good morrow Gentlemen. Quomodo. We must require a little ayde from your pen, good master Dustbox.

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Dustbox. What be the Gentlemens names that are bound sir? Quomodo. Master John Blastfield Esquire ith wilde of Kent, and what doe they call your bedfellowes name? Shortyard. Maister Richard Easie: you may easily hit on't. Quomodo. Master Richard Easie of Essex Gentleman, both bound to Ephestian Quomodo Citizen and Draper of London: the summe two hundred pound. What Time doe you take, master Blastfield, for the payment? Shortyard. I never passe my Month you know. Quomodo. I know it sir. October sixteenth to day, sixteenth of November say. Easye. Is it your custome to returne so soone sir? Shortyard. I never misse you.

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Enter Falslight like a Porter, sweating. Falselight. I am come for the rest of the same price master Quomodo. Quomodo. Star-marke, this is it, are all the rest gone? Falselight. Thei'r all at Master Stilyard-downes by this time. Easye. How the poore raskall's all in a froth? Shortyard. Push, thei'r ordaind to sweate for Gentlemen, Porters backes and womens bellies beare up the world.

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[Exit Falselight with the cloth.] Easye. Tis true yfaith, they beare men and money, and that's the world. Shortyard. Ye'ave found it sir. Dustbox. I'me readie to your hands Gentlemen. Shortyard. Come Master Easie. Easye. I beseech you sir. Shortyard. It shall be yours I say. Easye. Nay pray master Blastfield.

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Shortyard. I will not yfaith. Easye. What doe you meane sir? Shortyard. I should shew little bringing up, to take 365 the way of a stranger. Easye. By my troth you doe your selfe wrong tho maister Blastfield. Shortyard. Not a whit sir. Easye. But to avoid strife, you shall have your will 370 of mee for once. Shortyard. Let it be so I pray. Quomodo. [Aside] Now I begin to set one foote uppon the lande, mee thinkes I am felling of Trees alreadie, wee shall have some Essex Loggs yet to keepe Christmasse with, and 375 that's a comfort. Tomazin. Now is he quartring out, the Executioner Strides over him: with his owne blood he writes. I am no Dame that can endure such sights. Exit. Shortyard. So his right wing is cut, will not flie 380 farre Past the two Cittie hazards, Poultrie, and Woodstreete. Easye. How like you my Roman hand yfaith? Dustbox. Exceeding well sir, but that you rest too much upon your R. and make your ease too little. Easye. lie mend that presently. P. 46 Dustbox. Nay tis done now, past mending: [Shortyard 386 signs.] you both deliver this to maister Quomodo as your deede? Shortyard. We doe sir. Quomodo. I thanke you Gentlemen. [Exit Dustbox.] 390 Shortyard. Would the Coyne would come away now; we have deserv'd for't. Enter Falslight [ai porter] with the cloath. Falselight. By your leave a little Gentlemen. Shortyard. How now? what's the matter? speake? Falselight. As fast as I can sir All the cloathes come backe agen.

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Quomodo. How? Shortyard. What's the newes? Falselight. The passage to Middleborrow is stopt, and therefore neither Maister Stillyard-downe, nor Maister 400 Begger-land, nor any other Merchant wil deliver present money uppon't. [Exit Falselight.] Quomodo. Why what hard lucke have you Gentlemen? Easye. Why Maister Blastfield? Shortyard. Pish 405 Easye. You'r so discontented too presently, a man cannot tell how to speake to you? Shortyard. Why what would you say? Easye. We must make somewhat on't now sir. P. 46 Shortyard. I where? how? the best is it lyes all 410 uppon my necke, Maister Quomodo, can you help me to any money fort? speak. Quomodo. Troth Maister Blastfield, since my selfe is so unfurnisht, I knowe not the meanes how, there's one i'th streete, a new setter up, if any lay out money uppon't 415 twill be he. Shortyard. His name? Qoumodo. Master Idem but you know we cannot give but greatly to your losse, because we gaine and live by't. Shortyard. Sfoo't will he give any thing. 420 Easye. I, stand uppon that. Shortyard. Will he give any thing? the Brokers will give nothing? to no purpose. Quomodo. Falslight. Falselight. [Above] Over your head sir. 425 Quomodo. Desire Maister Idem to come presently and looke uppo'th cloath. Falselight. I will sir. [Exit.] Shortyard. What if hee should offer but a hundred pound? 430 Easye. If he want twentie on't lets take it. Shortyard. Say you so? Easye. Maister Quomodo wil have foure or five hundred pound for you of his owne within three or foure daies.

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[Enter Tomazin.]

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Shortyard. Tis true, he saide so indeede. 435 Easye. Is That your wife maister Quomodo? Quomodo. That's shee, little Tomazin? Easye. Under your leave sir, ile show my selfe a Gentleman. Quomodo. Doe, and welcome Maister Easie. 440 Easye. I have commission for what I doe Lady from your Husband. [Afojej her.] Tomazin. You may have a stronger commission for the next, an't please you, that's from my selfe. Enter Sim. Easye. You teach me the best law Lady. Tomazin. [Aside] Beshrew my blood, a proper springall, and a sweet Gentleman. Quomodo. My Sonne: Sim Quomodo? heere's more worke for you Maister Easie, you must salute him too, [Aside] for hee's like to be heire of thy land I can tell thee. Sim. Vim, vitam, spemque salutem. Quomodo. He showes you there he was a Cambridge man sir, but now hee's a Templer, ha's he not good grace to make a Lawyer? Easye. A very good grace to make a Lawyer. Shortyard. [Aside] For indeede he ha's no grace at all. Quomodo. Some gave me counsell to make him a Divine. Easye. Fye, fie. Quomodo. But some of our liverie thinke it an unfit thing, that our owne Sonnes should tell us of our vices: others, to make him a Phisitian, but then being my heyre, i'me afraide hee would make me away: now a Lawyer thei'r all willing too, because tis good for our trade, and encreaseth the number of Cloath-gownes, and indeede tis the fittest for a Cittizens Sonne, for our word is, what doe yee Iacke? and their word is what doe you give.

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Easye. Exceeding propper. Enter Falslight for Maister Idem. Quomodo. Maister Idem welcome. Falselight. I have seene the cloath sir. Quomodo. Verie well. 470 Falselight. I am but a yong setter up, the uttermost I dare venture uppon't is three-score pound. Shortyard. What? Falselight. If it be for me, so, I am for it: if not, you have your cloth and I have my money. 475 Easye. Nay, pray maister Blastfield refuse not his kinde offer. Shortyard. A bargaine then maister Idem, clap hands [Aside] hee's finely cheated: come, let's all to the next Taverne and see the money paide. 480 Easye. A match. Quomodo. I follow you Gentlemen, take my Sonne along with you. Exeunt [all but Quomodo.] Now to my keyes: i'me Maister Idem, hee must fetch the P. 50 money, first have I caught him in a bond for two hundred 485 pound, and my two hundred poundes worth a cloath agen for three-score pound: admire me all you studyents at Innes of cousenage. Exit. Finit Actus secundus. Incipit Actus Tertius. Enter Lethes pander, Helgill, the Countrie wench comming in with a new fashion Gowne drest gentlewoman like, the Taylor pointes it, and [Mistris Comings] a Tyrewoman busie about her head. Pander. You talke of an alteration, heer's the thing it selfe, what base birthe does not rayment make glorious? and what glorious birthes do not ragges make infamous? why

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should not a woman confesse what she is now? since the finest are but deluding shadowes, begot betweene Tyrewomen and Taylors? for instance, beholde their Parents. Comings. Say what you wil, this wire becomes you best, how say you Taylor? Taylor. I promise you tis a wire would draw mee from my worke seaven daies a weeke. Wench. Why doe you worke a sundaies Taylor? Taylor. Hardest of al a Sundaies, because we are most forbidden. Wench. Troth and so doe moste of us women, the better day the better deede we thinke. Comings. Excellent exceeding yfaith, a narrow eard wyer sets out a cheeke so fat and so full, and if you be rulde by me, you shal weare your hayre still like a Mockface behinde, tis such an Italian world, many men knowe not Before from Behinde. Taylor. How like you the sitting of this gowne now Mistris Comings? Comings. It ists at mervailous good Ease, and comely discretion. Pander. Who would thinke now this fine Sophisticated squal came out of the Bosome of a Barne, and the loynes of a Haytosser. Wench. Out you sawcie pestiferous Pander, I scorne that yfaith. Pander. Excellent, already the true phrase and stile of a strumpet, stay, a little more of the red, and then I take my leave of your Cheeke for foure & twenty houres Doe you not thinke it impossible that her owne Father should know her now, if he saw her? Wench. Why I thinke no lesse, how can he knowe me, when I scarce knowe my selfe. Pander. Tis right. Wench. But so well you lay waite for a man for me. Pander. I protest I have bestowed much labour about it, and in fit Time, good newes I hope.

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Enter one bringing in her Father in disguise to serve her.

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1. Iv'e found one yet at last, in whose preferment I hope to reape credit. Wench. Is that the fellowe? 1. Lady it is. [Exit 1.] Wench. Art thou willing to serve me fellow? 45 Father. So please you, he that ha's not the heart to serve such a Mistris as your beautifull selfe, deserves to be honoured for a foole, or Knighted for a Coward. Wench. There's to many of them alreadie. Father. Twere sinne then to raise the number. 50 Wench. Well, weele trie both our likings for a month, and then eyther proceede, or let fall the suite. Father. Be it as you have spoke, but tis my hope a longer Tearme. Wench. No truely, our Tearme endes once a month, wee 55 should get more then the Lawyers, for they have but foure Tearmes a yeare, and wee have twelve, & that makes e'm run so fast to us in the Vacation. Father [Aside] A mistris of a choice beauty, amongst such imperfect creatures I ha not seene a perfecter: I 60 should have reckoned the fortunes of my Daughter amongst the happiest, had she lighted into such a service, whereas now I rest doubtfull, whome or where she serves. Wench. There's for your bodily advice Taylor, and theres for your head-counsell, and I discharge you both till to P. 53 morrowe morning agen. 66 Taylor. At which time our neatest Attendance. Combings. I pray have an especiall care howsoever you stand or lye, that nothing fall uppon your haire to batter your wire. Exeunt. 70 Wench. I warrant you for that which Gowne becomes me best now, the purple Sattin or this? Pander. If my opinion might rule over you

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Enter Lethe with Rerage and Salewood. Lethe. Come gallants, ile bring you to a Beauty shal stricke your eyes into your hearts, what you see you shall desire, yet never enjoy. Rerrage. And that's a Villanous torment. Salewood. And is she but your underput Maister Lethe? Lethe. No more, of my credit, and a Gentlewoman of a great house, Noble parentage, unmatchable Education, my plain Pung. I may grace her with the name of a Curtizan, a Backslider, a Prostitution, or such a Toy, but when all comes to al tis but a plaine Pung, looke you Gentlemen, that's she, beholde her. Wench. Oh my beloved strayer! I consume in thy absence. Lethe. La you now you shall not say ile be proud to you Gentlemen, I give you leave to salute her, [Aside] I'me afraide of nothing now, but that sheele utterlie disgrace e'm, turn taile to e'm, and place their kisses behinde her, no by my faith, she deceives me, by my troth sha's kist am both with her lips: I thanke you for that musick maisters, sli'd they both court her at once, and see if she ha not the wit to stand still and let e'm: I thinke if two men were brewde into one, there is that woman would drink e'm up both. Rerrage. A Cockscombe, he a Courtier. Wench. He saies he ha's a place there. Salewood. So ha's the Foole, a better place then he, and can come where he dare not show his head. Lethe. Nay, heare you me Gentlemen? Salewood. I protest you were the last man we spoke on, we're a little busie yet, pray stay there a while, weele come to you presently. Lethe. [Aside] This is good yfaith, indure this and be a slave forever, since you neither savour of good breeding nor bringing up, Ile slice your hamstrings but ile make you show mannerly pox on you, leave courting, I ha not the heart to hurt an Englishman yfaith, or else

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Salewood. What else? Lethe. Prethee lets be merrie, nothing else heere, 110 fetch some wine. Wench. Let my Servant goe for't. Lethe. Your's, which is he? Father. This sir, [Aside] but I scarce like my Mistris now: the loynes can nere be safe where the Flyes be so busie 115 Witte by experience bought foyles wit at Schoole, P. 55 Who proves a deeper knave then a Spent foole? I am gone for your worships wine sir. [Exit.] Pander. Sir, you put up too much indignitie, bring company to cut your owne throate, the fire is not yet so 120 hot, that you neede two Screenes before it, tis but new kindled yet, if twere risse to a flame, I could not blame you then to put others before you, but alasse all the heate yet is comfortable, a cherisher, not a defacer. Lethe. Prethe let e'm alone, theile bee asham'd ont 125 anon I troe, if they have any grace in 'em. Pander. [Aside] Ide faine have him quarrell, fight, and be assuredlye kild, that I might beg his place: for there's nere a one voide yet. [Exit.] Enter Shortyard with Easie. Wench. Youle make him mad anon. Salewood. Tis to that end. Shortyard. Yet at last, Maister Quomodo is as firme as his promise. Easye. Did I not tell you still he would. Shortyard. Let me see, I am seaven hundred pound in bond now to the Rascall. Easye. Nay y'are no lesse Maister Blastfield, looke too't, by my troth, I must needes confesse sir, you ha bene uncommonly kinde to me, since I ha beene in Towne, but maister Alsup shall know on't. Shortyard. That's my Ambition sir. Easye. I beseech you sir, Stay, this is Lethes haunt, see, we have catcht him.

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Lethe, Maister Blastfield and Maister Easie, y'are kinde Gentlemen both. Shortyard. Is that the beauty you famde so? Lethe. The same. Shortyard. Who be those so industrious about her? Lethe. Rerage and Salewood: lie tell you the unmannerlyest tricke of e'm, that ever you heard in your life. Shortyard. Prethee whats that? Lethe. I envyted e'm hyther to looke upon her, brought e'm along with me, gave e'm leave to salute her in kindnes, what doe they but moste sawcilie fall in love with her, verye impudently court her for themselves, and like two craftye Atturneyes, finding a hole in my lease, goe about to defeate me of my right. Shortyard. Ha they so little conscience? Lethe. The moste uncivilst part that you have seene, I know theile be sorry for't when they have done, for ther's no man but gives a sigh after his sin of women, I knowe it by my selfe. Shortyard. You parcell of a rude, sawcie and unmannerly nation. Lethe. One good thing in him, heele tell e'm ont roundly. Shortyard. Cannot a Gentleman purchase a little fire to thawe his appetite by, but must you that have beene dayly sindg'd in the flame, be as greedy to beguile him on't? how can it appeare in you but maliciously, and that you goe about to engrosse hell to your selves? Heaven forbid, that you should not suffer a stranger to come in, the Devill himselfe is not so unmannerly, I doe not thinke but some of them rather will be wise enough to beg Offices there before you, and keepe you out, marry all the spite will bee they cannot sell e'm agen. Easye. Come, are you not to blame -not to give place? To us I meane Lethe. A worse and a worse disgrace. Wench. Nay Gentlemen, you wrong us both then, stand

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from me, I protest ile draw my silver Bodkin upon you. Shortyard. Clubs, clubs Gentlemen stand uppon your Guard. Wench. A Gentlewoman must swagger a little now and then I perceive, there would bee no civilitie in her Chamber else, though it be my hard fortune to have my keeper there a coward, the thing that's kept is a Gentlewoman borne. Shortyard, And to conclude, a Coward, infallible of your side, why doe you thinke yfaith I tooke you to be a Coward? doe I thinke youle turne your backe to anye man living? youle be whipt first. Easye. And then indeede she turnes her backe to some man living. Shortyard. But that man showes himselfe a Knave, for he dares not showe his owne face when hee does it, for some of the common Counsell in Henry the eights daies thought it modestie at that time, that one Vizzard should looke uppon another. Easye. Twas honestly considered of e'm yfaith.

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Enter Mother Gruill. Shortyard. How now? what peece of stuffe comes heere? Lethe. [Aside] Now some good newes yet to recover my Repute, and grace me in this company; Gentlemen, are we friendes among our selves? Shortyard. United.

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[Re-enter Father with wine.] Lethe. Then heere comes Renish to confirme our Amitie Wag-taile, salute them all, they are friendes. Wench. Then, sauing my quarrell, to you all. Shortyard. Toe's all. Wench. Now beshrowe your hearts, and you doe not. Shortyard. To sweete Maister Lethe. Lethe. Let it flow this way deere Maister Blastfield, Gentlemen to you all.

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Shortyard. This Renish wine is like the scowring-sticke to a gun, it makes the Barrell cleere: it ha's an excelent vertue, it keepes all the Sinckes in man and womans bodie sweete in June and July, and to say truth, if Ditches were not cast once a yeare, and Drabs once a Month, there would be no abiding i'th Cittie. Lethe. Gentlemen, ile make you privie to a letter I sent. Shortyard. A letter comes well after privie, it makes amends. Lethe. There's one Quomodo, a Drapers Daughter in towne Whome for her happie portion I wealthily affect. Rerrage. And not for love? [To Salewood] this makes for me his Rivall, Beare witnesse. Lethe. The Father does elect me for the man, The Daughter sayes the same. Shortyard. Are you not well? Lethe. Yes all but for the mother, shee's my sicknesse. Shortyard. Birlady and the Mother is a pestilent, wilfull, troublesome sicknesse I can tell you, if she light upon you handsomelye. Lethe. I finde it so: she for a stranger pleades: Whose name I ha not learn'd. Rerrage. [To Salewood] And ene now he cald me by it. Lethe. Now as my letter tolde her, since onely her consent kept aloofe of, what might I thinke on't, but that she meerely dooted upon me herselfe. Shortyard. Very assuredly. Salewood. [To Rerage] This makes still for you. Shortyard. Did you let it goe so yfaith? Lethe. You may beleeve it sir, now what sayes her answere? Shortyard. I, her answere. Mother. She saies you'r a base proud knave, and like your worship. Lethe. How?

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Shortyard. Nay, heare out hir answere,or there's no goodnesse in you. Mother. You ha forgot, she saies, in what pickle your worship came up, and brought two of your friendes to give 250 their wordes for a sute of greene Kersye. Lethe. Drudge, peace, or Shortyard. Show your selfe a Gentleman, she had the patience to reade your letter which was as bad as this can be, what will she thinke on't, not heare her answere? 255 speake, good his drudge. Mother. And as for hir Daughter, shee hopes sheele be rulde by her in time, and not be carryed away with a cast of Manchets, a bottle of Wine, and a Custard, which once made her Daughter sicke, because you came by it with a 260 bad conscience. Lethe. Gentlemen, i'me all in a sweate. Shortyard, That's verie wholsome for your body, nay you must keepe in your armes. Mother. Then she demaunded of me whether I was your P. 61 worship Ant or no? 266 Lethe. Out, out, out! Mother. Alasse saide I, I am a poore drudge of his. Faith and thou wert his Mother (quoth she) heed make thee his Drudge I warrant him— Marry out upon him (quoth 270 I) an't like your worship. Lethe. Horror, horror, i'me smother'd, let me goe, torment me not. Exit. Shortyard. And you love me, lets follow him Gentlemen. All. Agreed. Exeunt [Mother, Salewood, and Rerrage.] 275 Shortyard. I count a hundred pound wel spent to persue a good jest Maister Easie. Easye. By my troth I begin to beare that minde too. Shortyard. Well saide yfaith, hang money good jests are worth silver at all times. 280 Easye. They'r worth golde Maister Blastfield. Exeunt [Shortyard and Easye].

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Wench. Doe you deceive me so? are you toward marriage? yfaith Master Lethe it shall goe hard but ile forbid the Banes, ile send a messenger into your bones, another into Exit. 285 your pursse but ile doo't. Father. Thou faire and wicked Creature, steept in Arte, Beautious and fresh, the soule the fowlest part. A common Filth, is like a House possest, Where if not spoild, youle come out fraide at least, This service likes not me, though I rest poore, P. 62 I hate the basest use, to screene a whore. 291 The humaine stroke nere made him, hee that can Be Bawde to Woman, never leapt from man. Some monster wunne his Mother, I wisht my poore childe hether, doubled wrong, 295 A month and such a mistris were too long, Yet heere awhile in others lives ile see, How former follyes, did appeare in me. Exit. Enter Easie with Shortyards Boy.

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Easye. Boy. Boy. Anon sir. Easye. Where left you Maister Blastfield your maister, say you? Boy. An houre since I left him in Paules sir [Aside] but youle not finde him the same man agen next time you meete him. Easye. Me thinks I have noe beeing without his companie tis so full of kindenes and delight, I holde him to be the onely Companyon in earth. Boy. [Aside] I, as Companions goe now adaies that helpe to spend a mans money. Easye. So full of nimble wit, various discourse, pregnant apprehension, and uncommon entertainment, hee might keepe Company with any Lord for his grace. Boy. [Aside] I, with any Lord that were past it. Easye. And such a good freehearted honest, affable kinde P.

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of Gentleman: Come Boy a heavinesse will possesse me till I see him. Exit. Boy. But youle finde your selfe heavyer then, by a seaven hundred pound weight,—-Alasse poore Birds that cannot keepe the sweete Countrie, where they flye at pleasure, but must needes come to London to have their wings dipt, and are faine to goe hopping home agen. Exit. Enter Shortyard and Falslight like a Sarjeant and a Yeoman to arrest Easie.

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Shortyard. So, No man is so impudent to denye that Spirits can change their shapes, and soonest of all into Serjeants: because they are Coosen Germans to spirits, for there's but two kinde of arrests till Doomes-day, the Devill for the soule, the Serjeant for the body, but afterward the devill arrests bodye and soule, Serjant & all, if they be knaves still, and deserve it, now my yeoman Falslight. Falselight. I Attend you good Serjant Shortyard. Shortyard. No more maister Blastfield now poore Easie, hardly beset. Falselight. But how if he should goe to prison, weere in a madde state then, being not Serjeants. Shortyard. Never let it come neere thy beleefe that heele take prison, or stand out in lawe, knowing the debt to be due, but still expect the presence of Maister Blastfield, kinde Maister Blastfield, worshipfull Maister Blastfield and at the last Boy. [Within] Maister Shortyard, maister Falslight. see where he Shortyard. The Boy: a warning-piece, comes. Enter Easie with the Boy. Easye. Is not in paules. Boy. He is not farre off sure sir. Easye. When was his houre sayst thou?

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Boy. Two sir. Easye. Why two ha's strucke. 25 Boy. No sir, they are now a striking. Shortyard. Maister Richard Easie of Essex we arrest you. Easye. Ha? Boy. Alasse a Surgeon, hee's hurt ith shoulder. [Exit.] Shortyard. Deliver your weapons quietly sir. 30 Easye. Why what's the matter? Shortyard. Y'are arrested at the suite of Maister Quomodo. Easye. Maister Quomodo? Shortyard. How strange you make it, you'r a landed 35 Gentleman sir, I knew tis but a trifle, a bond of seaven hundred pound. Easye. La, I knowe you had mistooke, you should arrest one Maister Blastfield, tis his bond, his debt. Shortyard. Is not your name there? 40 Easye. True, for fashions sake. Shortyard. Why and tis for fashions sake that we arrest P. 65 you. Easye. Nay, & it be no more, I yeelde to that: I know Maister Blastfield wil see me take no injurie as long as 45 i'me in towne, for Maister Alsups sake. Shortyard. Whose that Sir? Easye. An honest Gentleman in Essex. Shortyard. Oh, in Essex! I thought you had beene in London, where now your busines lyes, honestye from Essex 50 will be a great while a comming sir, you should looke out an honest paire of Cittizens. Easye. Alasse sir, I knowe not where to finde e'm. Shortyard. No, there's enow in Towne. Easye. I know not one by my troth, I am a meere stranger 55 for these partes, Maister Quomodo is all, and the honestest that I knowe. Shortyard, To him then lets set forward: Yeoman Spiderman, cast an eye about for Maister Blastfield. Easye. Boy Alasse the poore boy was frighted away 60 at first.

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Shortyard. Can you blame him sir we that dayly fray away Knight's, may fright away Boyes I hope. Exeunt. Enter Quomodo with the Boy. [Tomazin watching above.] III.4 Quomodo. Ha? have they him sayst thou? Boy. As sure as Quomodo. The land's mine, thats sure enough boy. Let me advaunce thee knave, and give thee a kisse, P. 66 My plot's so firme I dare it now to misse. 5 Now shall I be divulgde a landed man, Throughout the liverie: one points, another whispers, A third frets inwardly: let him fret and hang, Especially his envie I shall have, That would be faine, yet cannot be a knave, 10 Like an olde leacher girt in a furde Gowne, Whose minde stands stiffe but his performance downe. Now come my golden daies in: whither is the worshipfull master Quomodo, and his faire Bedfellow rid forth, To his land in Essex? whence comes those goodly loade of Logs? 15 from his land in Essex? where growes this pleasant fruit, sayes one Citizens wife in the rowe; at Maister Quomodos Orchard in Essex; oh, oh, do's it so, I thanke you for that good newes yfaith. Boy. Here they come with him sir. [Exit.] 20 Quomodo. Grant mee patience in my joyes, that being so great I run not mad with 'em. [Enter Shortyard and Falselight, disguised as before, bringing in Easye.] Shortyard. Blesse maister Quomodo. Quomodo. How now Serjeants? who ha you brought me here, master Easie? Easye. Why la you now Serjeants, did I not tell you you mistooke? Qumodo. Did you not heare me say, I had rather ha had master Blastfield, the more sufficient man a great deale? Shortyard. Verie true sir, but this Gentleman lighting into our hands first

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Quomodo. Why did you so sir? Shortyard. Wee thought good to make use of that oportunitie, and hold him fast. Quomodo. You did well in that I must needes say, for your owne securities, but twas not my minde master Easie to have you first, you must needes thinke so. Easye. I dare sweare that master Quomodo. Quomodo. But since you are come to me, I have no reason to refuse you, I should show little manners in that sir. Easye. But I hope you spake not in that sencse sir, to impose the bond upon mee. Quomodo. By my troth that's my meaning sir, you shall finde mee an honest man, you see I meane what I say, is not the day past, the money untendred, you'd ha me live uprightly maister Easie? Easye. Why sir, you know maister Blastfield is the man. Quomodo. Why sir, I know master Blastfield is the man, but is he any more then one man? two entred into bond to mee, or I'me fowly coozn'd. Wasye. You know my entrance was but for fashion sake. Quomodo. Why, ile agree to you, you'l grant tis the fashion likewise when the Bond's due to have the money paid agen. Shortyard. So we told him sir, and that it lay in your worship curtezie to arrest which you please. Quomodo. Marie do's it sir, these fellowes know the law, beside, you offred yourself into Bond to me you know, when I had no stomake to you, now beshew your heart for your labour, I might ha had a good substantiall Citizen, that would ha paid the summe roundly, altho I think you sufficient enough for seaven hundred pound, beside the forfeyture, I would be loath to disgrace you so much before Serjeants. Easye. If you would ha the pacience sir, I doe not thinke but master Blastfield is at Carriers to receive the money. Quomodo. He wil prove the honester man then, & you the

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better discharged, I wonder he should breake with me, t'was never his practise, you must not bee angry with mee now, tho you were somewhat hot when you entred into Bond, you may easily go in angerly, but you cannot come out so. Easye. No, the Divels in't for that. Shortyard. Do you heere sir, a my troth we pittie you, ha you any store of Crownes about you? Easye. Faith a poore store, yet they shall be at their service that will strive to doe me good, [Aside] we were both drunke last night, and neer thought upon the bond. Shortyard. I must tell you this, you have fell in to the hands of a most mercilesse devourer, the verie gul athe citie, should you offer him mony, Goods or lands now, hee'd rather have your bodie in prison, hee's a such a nature. Easye. Prison? w'are undon then. Shortyard. Hee's a such a nature, looke? Let him owe any man a spite! what's his course: he will lend him mony to day, a purpose to rest him to morrow. Easye. Defend me? Shortyard. Has at least sixteene at this instant proceeded in both the Counters: some batchler, some masters, some doctors of captivitie of 20. years standing and he desires nothing more then imprisonment. Easye. Would Maister Blastfield would come away. Shortyard. I, then things would not bee as they are. what will you say to us if wee procure you two substantiall subsidie Cittizens to baile you spite on's heart, and set you at libertie to finde out maister Blastfield. Easye. Serjeant! here, take all, ile be deare to you, doe but performe it. Shortyard. [Aside] Much. Falselight. [Aside] Inough sweet Serjeant, I hope I understand thee. Shortyard. I love to prevent the malice of such a rascall, perhaps you might find maister Blastfield to night. Easye. Why, we lie together man, there's the jest on't.

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Shortyard. Fie. and youle seeke to secure your baile, because they will be two Cittizens of good account, you must doe that for your credit sake. Easye. lie be bound to save them harmelesse. no Shortyard. A pox on him, you cut his throte then, words. Easye. What's it you require me maister Quomodo? Quomodo. You know that before this time I hope sir, present money, or present imprisonment. Shortyard. I told you so. Easye. We nere had money of you. Quomodo. You had commodities, an't please you. Easye. Well, may I not crave so much libertie upon my word, to seeke out maister Blastfield? Quomodo. Yes, and you would not laugh at me: wee are sometimes Gulls to Gentlemen, I thanke 'em; but Gentlemen are never Gulls to us, I commend 'em. Shortyard. Under your leave master Quomodo, the Gentleman craves the furtherance of an houre, and it sorts well with our occasion at this time, having a little urgent busines at Guildhall, at which minute weele returne, and see what agreement is made. Quomodo. Nay take him along with you Serjeant. Easye. I'm undone then. Shortyard. Hee's your prisoner; and being safe in your house at your owne disposing, you cannot denie him such a request: beside, he hath a little faith in Maister Blastfields comming sir. Quomodo. Let me not be too long delaid I charge you. Easye. Not an houre yfaith sir.

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Exeunt [Shortyard and Falselight]. Quomodo. O maister Easie, of all men living I never dream't you would ha done me this injurie: make me wound my credite, faile in my commodities, bring my state into suspition: for the breaking of your day to me, has broken my day to others.

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Easye. You tell me of that still, which is no fault of mine master Quomodo. Quomodo. Oh whats a man but his honestie master Easie, and thats a fault amongst most of us all, Marke but this note, lie give you good counsell now, as often as you give your name to a bond, you must think you christen a child, and take the charge on't too: for as the one, the bigger it growes the more cost it requires: so the other the longer it lies, the more charges it puts you too, onely heer's the difference, a childe must bee broke, and a bond must not, the more you breake children, the more you keep 'em under: but the more you breake bondes, the more theyle leape in your face, and therefore, to conclude, I would never undertake to bee Gossip to that bond which I would not see well brought up. Easye. Say you so sir? lie thinke upon your counsaile hereafter for't. Quomodo. [Aside] Ah foole, thou shouldest neere ha tasted such witte but that I know tis too late. Tom[azin above]. The more I grieve. Quomodo. To put all this into the compasse of a litle hoop Ring, Make this account, come better dayes or worse, So many bonds abroad, so many boyes at nurse. Easye. A good medicine for a short memorie: but since you have entred so farre, whose children are desperate depts I pray? Quomodo. Faith they are like the of-springs of stolne lust, put to the hospital, their fathers are not to be found, they are either too far abroad, or too close within, and thus for your memories sake. The desperate Debter hence derives his name, One that has neither money, land nor fame, All that he makes, prove Bastards, and not Bonds, But such as yours, at first are borne to lands. Easye. But all that I beget heereafter ile soone disinherit Maister Quomodo.

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Quomodo. [Aside] In the meane time heere's a shrewd knave will disinherit you. Easye. Well, to put you out of all doubt Maister Quomodo, ile not trust to your curtezie, I ha sent for bayle. Quomodo. How? y'ave coozned me there yfaith. Easye. Since the worst comes to the worst, I have those friends 'ith Cittie, I hope that will not suffer me to lye for seaven hundred pound. Quomodo. And you tolde me you had no friendes heere at all, how should a man trust you now? Easye. That was but to trie your Curtesie Maister Quomodo. Quomodo. fAside] How unconscionably he gulls himself they must be wealthye subsidie-men sir, at least fortye pound 'th Kings Bookes I can tell you, that doe such a feate for you.

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Enter Shortyard and Falslight, like wealthy Cittizens in Sattin sutes. Easye. Heere they come, whatsoere they are. Quomodo. Berlady Aldermans Deputies, I am verie sorrye for you sir, I cannot refuse such men. Shortyard. Are you the Gentleman in distresse? Easye. None more then my selfe sir. Quomodo. {Aside] Hee speakes truer then he thinkes, for if he knew, the hearts that owe those faces a darke shop's good for somewhat. Easye. That was all sir. Shortyard. And that's enough, for by that meanes you have made your selfe liable to the Bond, as well as that Basefield. Easye. Blastfield sir. Shortyard. Oh crie you mercie, tis Blastfield indeede. Easye. But under both your worships favours I know where to finde him presently.

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Shortyard. That's all your refuge.

75 210

[Re-enter Boy.] Boy. Newes, good newes Master Easie. Easye. What boy? Boy. Maister Blastfieid my maister has received a thousand pound, and will be at his lodging at supper. Easye. Happye newes, heare you that Maister Quomodo? 215 Quomodo. Tis enough for you to heare that, y'are the fortunate man sir. [Exit Boy.] Easye. Not now I beseech your good worships. Shortyard. Gentleman, what's your tother name? Easye. Easie. 220 Shortyard. O Maister Easie 1 would we could rather pleasure you otherwise Maister Easie, you should soone perceive it, ile speake a proud word, we have pittied more Gentlemen in distresse, then any two Cittizens within the freedome——but to be baile to seaven hundred pound action, 225 is a matter of shroud weight. Easye. Ile be bound to secure you. Shortyard, Tut, what's your bond sir? Easye. Bodye, goods, and Lands, immediately before Master Quomodo. 230 Shortyard. Shall we venture once agen, that have beene P. 75 so often undone by Gentlemen? Falselight. I have no great stomacke too't, it will appeare in us more pittie then wisdome. Easye. Why should you say so sir? 235 Shortyard. I like the Gentlemans face well, hee doe's not looke as if he would deceive us. Easye. O not I sir. Shortyard. Come weele make a desperate voyage once agen, weele trye his honestie, and take his single bond, of body 240 Goods and Lands. Easye. I dearely thanke you sir. Shortyard. Maister Quomodo?

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Quomodo. Your worships. Shortyard. We have tooke a Course to set your prisoner 245 free. Quomodo. Your worships are good baile, you content me. Shortyard. Come then, and be a witnesse to a Recullisance. Quomodo. With all my heart sir. Shortyard. Maister Easie, you must have an especiall 250 care now to find out that Blastfield. Easye. I shall have him at my lodging sir. Shortyard. The suite will bee followed against you else, Maister Quomodo will come upon us, and forsake you. Easye. I know that sir. 255 Shortyard. Well since I see you have such a good minde to bee honest, ile leave some greater affayres, and sweate P. 76 with you to finde him my selfe. Easye. Heare then my miserie ends. A strangers kindenesse oft exceedes a friends. Exeunt. 260 Tomazin. [Above] Thou art deceiv'd, thy miserie but begins, "To beguile goodnes, is the coare of sins. My love is such unto thee, that I die As often as thou drink'st up injurie, Yet have no meanes to warne thee from't, for hee 265 "That sowes in Craft, doe's reape in Jealousie. [Exit.] [Enter Rerrage and Salewood.] Rerrage. Now the letters made up and all, it wants but the print of a seale, and away it goes to Maister Quomodo: Andrew Lethe is well whipt in't, his name stands in a white sheete heere, and does pennance for him. Salewood. You have shame enough against him, if that be good. Rerrage. First as a contempt of that reverend Ceremony, hee has in hand, to wit, marriage. Salewood. Why doe you say to wit marriage, when you knowe theres none will marrie that's wise.

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Rerrage. Had it not more neede then, to have wit to put too't if it be growne to a Folly? Salewood. Y'ave wun, ile give't you. Rerrage. Tis no thankes now, but as I was saying: as a foule contempt to that sacred ceremony, hee moste audaciouslye keepes a Drab in towne, and to be free from the interruption of blew Beadles, and other bawdy Officers, hee most politickly lodges her in a Constables house. Salewood. That's a prettie point yfaith. Rerrage. And so the watch that should fetch her out, are her chiefest guard to keepe her in. Salewood. It must needes be, for looke how the Constable playes his Conscience, the watch-men will followe the suite. Rerrage. Why well then. Enter Easie with Shortyard like a Cittizen. Easye. All night from me? hee's hurt, hee's made away. Shortyard. Where shall we seeke him now? you leade me fayre jaunt's sir. Easye. Pray keepe a little patience sir, I shall finde him at last you shall see. Shortyard. A Cittizen of my ease and substance to walke so long a foote. Easye. You should ha had my horse but that he ha's eaten out his head sir. Shortyard. How, would you had me hold him by the tayle sir then? Easye. Manners forbid, tis no part of my meaning sir, oh heere's Maister Rerage, and Maister Salewood, now we shall heare of him presently: Gentlemen both. Salewood. Maister Easie, how fare you sir? Easye. Verye well in health, did you see Maister Blastfield this morning? Salewood. I was about to move it to you. Rerrage. We were all three in a minde then.

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Salewood. I ha not set eye on him these two daies. Rerrage. I wonder he keepes so long from us yfaith. Easye. I begin to be sicke. Salewood. Why, what's the matter? Easye. Nothing in troth, but a great desire I had to 50 have seene him. Rerrage. I wonder you shuld misse on't lately, you'r his bedfelow. Easye. I lay alone to night yfaith, [Enter Lethe.] I doe not know how, O here comes master Lethe, he can dis55 patch me: Master Lethe! Lethe. What's your name sir? O crie you mercie master Easie. Easye. When parted you from maister Blastfield sir? Lethe. Blastfield's an Asse, I have sought him these 60 two dayes to beate him. Easye. Your selfe all alone sir? Lethe. I, and three more, Exit. Shortyard. [Aside] I am glad, I am where I am then, I perceive twas time of all handes. 65 Rerrage. [To Salewood] Content yfaith, let's trace him. Exeunt after Lethe. P. 79 Shortyard. What? have you found him yet? neither? what's to be done now? ile venter my bodie no further for any Gentlemans pleasure, I know not how soone I may be cald uppon, and now to over-heate my selfe, 70 Easye. Ime undone. Shortyard. This is you that slept with him, you can make fooles of us, but ile turne you over to Quomodo for't. Easye. Good sir. 75 Shortyard. Ile prevent mine owne danger. Easye. I beseech you sit. Shortyard. Tho I love Gentlemen well, I doe not meane to bee undone for 'em. Easye. Pray sir, let mee request you sir, sweete sir, I beseech you sir. Exeunt. 80

TEXT

Musicke.

Finit Actus tertius.

Incipit quartus. Enter Quomodo, his disguised spirits, after whom Easie followes hard.

IV

Shortyard. Made fooles of us! not to be found! Quomodo. What, what? Easye. Do not undoe me quite tho Master Quomodo. Quomodo. Y'are verie welcome, master Easie, I ha nothing to say to you, ile not touch you, you may goe when you please, 1 have good baile here I thanke their worships. Easye. What shall I say, or whom shall I beseech? Shortyard. Gentlemen, S'lid they were borne to undo us I think, but for my part, Ile make an oath before maister Quomodo here, nere to doe Gentlemen good while I live. Falselight. Ile not be long behind you. Shortyard. Away; if you had any grace in you, you would bee ashamed to looke us ith face, ywis I wonder with what browe you can come amongst us, I should seeke my fortunes farre enough if were you, and neither returne to Essex, to bee a shame to my predecessers, nor remaine about London, to be a mocke to my successors. Quomodo. [Aside] Subtle Shortyard! Shortyard. Here are his lands forfeyted to us master Quomodo, and to avoyd the inconscionable trouble of law, all the assurance he made to us, we willingly resigne to you. Quomodo. What shall I doe with Rubbish, give me money: Tis for your worships to have land, that keepe great houses, I should be hoysted. Shortyard. But master Quomodo, if would but conceyve it aright, the land would fall fitter to you then to us. Easye. [Aside] Curtzing about my land. Shortyard. You have a towardly sonne and heyre as we heare. Quomodo. I must needs say, he is a Templer indeed.

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Shortyard. We have neither posteritie in Towne nor hope for any abroad; we have wives, but the markes have beene out of their mouths these twentie yeares, and as it appeares, they did little good when they were in: wee could not stande about it sir, to get riches and children too, tis more then one man can doe. And I am of those Citizens mindes that say, let our wives make shift for children and they will, they get none of us; and I cannot thinke, but he that has both much wealth and many children, had has more helpes comming in then himselfe. Quomodo. I am not a Bowe wide of your minde sir, And for the thriftie and covetous hopes I have in my sonne and heyre Sim Quomodo, that hee will never trust his land in Waxe and Parchment as many Gentlemen have done before him Easye. [Aside] A by-blow for me.

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[Enter Tomazin.] Quomodo. I will honestly discharge you, and receyve it in due forme and order of law, to strengthen it for ever to my sonne and heyre, that he may undoubtedly enter uppon't 50 without the let or molestation of any man, at his or our pleasure whensoever. Shortyard. Tis so assurde unto you. Quomodo. Why then maister Easie y'are a freeman sir, you may deale in what you please, and goe whether you will. 55 Why Tomazin, maister Easie is come from Essex, bid him welcome in a cup of small Beare. Tomazin. [Aside] Not onely vilde, but in it tyrannous. Quomodo. If it please your sir, you knowe the house, you P. 82 may visite us often, and dine with us once a quarter. 60 Easye. Confusion light on you, your wealth and heyre, Worme gnaw your conscience, as the Moth your ware, I am not the first heyre that rob'd, or beg'd. Exit. Quomodo. Excellent, excellent, sweet Spirits.

TEXT

81

[Exit Tomazin.] Shortyard. Landed maister Quomodo. 65 Quomodo. Delicate Shortyard, commodious Falslight, Hug and away, shift, shift. Tis slight, not strength that gives the greatest lift. [Exeunt Shortyard and Falselight.] Nowe my desires are full for this tyme, Men may have Cormorant wishes, but alas, 70 A little thing, three hundred pound a yeare, Suffices nature, keepes life and soule together, lie have 'em lopt immediately. I long to warme my selfe by'th wood, A fine journey in the Whitsun-holydayes yfaith, to ride downe with a 75 number of Citizens, and their wives, some upon pillions, some upon Side saddles, I and little Tomazin ith middle, our sonne and heire Sim Quomodo in a peach colour Taffata Jacket, some hors-length, or a long yard before us, there will be a fine shew on's I can tell you, where we Citizens 80 will laugh, and lie downe, get all our wives with child against a bank, and get up againe, stay, ha! hast thou that wit yfaith, twill be admirable, to see how the very P. 83 thought of greene fieldes puts a man into sweete inventions. I will presently possesse Sim Quomodo of all the land, I 85 have a toy and ile doo't: and because I see before mine eies that most of our heires prove notorious Rioters after our deaths, and that cousonage in the father wheeles about to follie in the sonne, our posteritie commonly foylde at the same weapon, at which we plaide rarely. And being the 90 worlds beaten worde, what's got over the Divels backe, (that's by knaverie) must be spent under his bellie, (that's by lechery) being awake in these knowings, why should not I oppose 'em now, and breake destinie of her custome, preventing that by pollicie, which without it must needes be 95 Destinie? and I have tooke the course, I will forthwith sicken, call for my keyes, make my Will, and dispose of all, give my sonne this blessing, that hee trust no man,

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keepe his hand from a queane, and a Scrivener, live in his fathers faith, and doe good to no bodie: then will I begin to rave like a fellow of a wide conscience, and for all the worlde counterfeit to the life, that which I know I shall do when I die, take on for my golde, my landes, and my wrytings, grow worse and worse, call upon the Divell, and so make an ende: by this time I have indented with a couple of searchers, who to uphold my device shall fray them out a'th Chamber with report of sicknesse, and so la, I start up, and recover agen: for in this businesse I will trust, no not my spirits Falslight & Shortyard, but in disguise note the condition of al, how pittiful my wife takes my death, which wil appear by November in her eye, and the fall of the leaf in her bodie, but especially by the cost she bestows upon my funeral, there shall I trie her love and regard, my daughters marrying to my will & lyking, and my sonnes affection after my disposing: for to conclude, I am as jealous of this land as of my wife: to know what would become of it after my decease.

Exit.

Enter Curtezan with her disguised father.

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Father. Tho I be poore, tis my glorie to live honest. Wench. I prethee doe not leave me. Father. To be bawde. Hell has not such an office, I thought at first your minde had beene preserv'd, In vertue and in modestie of bloud, That such a face had not bene made to please The unsetled Appetites of severall men, Those eyes turn'd up through prayer, not through lust, But you are wicked, and my thoughts unjust. Wench. Why thou art an unreasonable fellow yfaith, doe not al Trades live by their ware, and yet cald honest Livers? doe they not thrive best, when they utter moste, and make it away by the great? is not hole-sale the chiefest marchandize? doe you thinke some Merchants could keepe

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83

their wives so brave but for their hole-sale? you'r fowly 15 deceiv'd and you thinke so. P. 85 Father. You are so glewde to punishment and shame, Your wordes ee'n deserve whipping To beare the habit of a Gentlewoman, And be in minde so distant. 20 Wench. Why you foole you, are not Gentlewomen Sinners? and there's no coragious Sinner amongst us, but was a Gentlewoman by the Mothers side I warrant you: besides, wee are not alwaies bound to thinke those our fathers that marrie our Mothers, but those that lye with our Mothers, 25 and they may be Gentlemen borne & born agen for ought we know, you knowe. Father. True: corruption may well be Generations first, "Wee're bad by nature, but by custome worst. Exeunt. A Bell Toales, a Confused crie within.

IV.3

Tomazin. Oh my Husband. Sim. My Father, O my Father. Falselight. My sweete Maister, dead! Enter Shortyard and the Boy. Shortyard. Runne boy, bid 'em ring out, hee's dead, hee's gone. 5 Boy. Then is as arrant a knave gone, as ere was cal'd uppon. [Exit.] Shortyard. The happyest good that ever Shortyard felt, I want to be exprest, my mirth is such, To bee struck now eene when his joyes were hye, 10 Men onely kisse their knaveries, and so dye, P. 86 Iv'e often markt it. Hee was a famous Coozner while he liv'd. And now his Sonne shall reape it, ile ha the lands, Let him Studye law after, tis no labour 15 To undoe him for ever: but for Easie,

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Onely good confidence did make him foolish, And not the lack of Sence, that was not it, Tis worldly craft beates downe a Schollars wit, For this our Sonne and heyre now, hee From his conception was entayl'd an Asse, And hee ha's kept it well, twentie five yeares now, Then the sleightest art will doo't, the landes lye faire, "No Sinne to begger a deceivers heyre. Enter Tomazin with Winefride her maide in hast.

20

Exit. IV.4

Tomazin. Heere Wenefride, heere, heere, heere, I have alwaies found thee secret. Winefride. You shall alwaies finde me so Mistris. Tomazin. Take this letter and this Ring. Winefride. Yes forsooth. 5 Tomazin. Oh how all the partes about me shake, enquire for one Maister Easie at his olde lodging 'ith Blackfryers. Winefride. I will indeed forsooth. Tomazin. Tell him the partie that sent him a hundred 10 pound tother day to comfort his heart, ha's likewise sent P. 87 him this Letter and this Ring, which has that vertue to recover him agen for ever say name no body Winifride. Winefride. Not so much as you forsooth. Tomazin. Good Girle, thou shalt have a mourning Gowne 15 at the buryall of mine honestie. Winefride. And ile effect your will a my Fedelitie. [Exit.] Tomazin. I doe account my selfe the happyest Widdowe that ever counterfetted weeping, in that I have the leasure now, both to doe that Gentleman good, and doe my 20 selfe a pleasure, but I must seeme like a hanging Moone a little waterish a while. Enter Rerage, Curtezans Father following.

TEXT

85

Rerrage. I entertaine both thee and thy Device, Twill put e'm both to shame. Father. That is my hope sir, Especially that strumpet. [Exit.] Rerrage. Save you sweete widdowe, 25 I suffer for your heavinesse. Tomazin. O Maister Rerage, I have lost the dearest husband that ever woman did injoy. Rerrage. You must have patience yet. Tomazin. Oh talke not to mee of patience and you love 30 me, good Maister Rerage. Rerrage. Yet if all tongues goe right, hee did not use you so wel as a man mought. P. 88 Tomazin. Nay, that's true indeed Maister Rerage, he nere usd me so well as a woman might have beene usde, that's 35 certain; in troth ta's beene our greatest falling out sir, and though it be the part of a widdowe, to show her selfe a woman for her Husbands death, yet when I remember al his unkindnesse, I cannot weepe a stroake yfaith Maister Rerage, and therefore wisely did a great widdow in this land, com40 fort up another, goe too Lady (quoth she) leave blubbering, thou thinkest upon thy husbands good parts when thou sheddest teares, doe but remember how often hee ha's laine from thee, and how many naughtie slipperie turnes he has done thee, & thou wilt nere weepe for him I warrant thee you 45 would not thinke how that counsell ha's wrought with me Maister Rerage, I could not dispend another teare now, and you would give me nere so much. Rerrage. Why I count you the wiser Widdowe, it showes you have wisdome, when you can checke your passion, for mine 50 owne part, I have no sence to sorrowe for his death, whose life was the onely Rub to my affection. Tomazin. Troth and so it was to mine, but take courage now, your'e a Landed Gentleman, & my Daughter is seaven hundred pound strong to joyne with you. 55 Rerrage. But Lethe lyes 'ith way. Tomazin. Let him lye still,

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You shall treade ore him or ile faile in will. Rerrage. Sweete widdowe.

Exeunt. P. 89

Enter Quomodo like a Beadle. Quomodo. What a belovde man did live? my Servants gall their fingers with ringing, my wives cheeks smart with weeping, teares stand in everie corner, you may take water in my house—-but am not I a wise foole now? what if my wife should take my death so to heart, that shee should sicken uppon't, nay swone, nay dye? when did I heare of a woman doe so, let mee see, Now I remember me, I thinke twas before my Time; yes, I have heard of those wives that have wept, and sobd, and swound marry I never heard but they recovered agen, that's a comfort la, that's a comfort, & I hope so will mine peace, tis nere uppon the time, I see, here comes the worshipful liverie, I have the Hospital Boyes, I perceive little Tomazin will bestow cost of me Ile listen to the common censure now, how the world tongues me when my eare lyes lowe.

IV. 5

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Enter the Liverie [and the Boys\. 1. Liveryman. Who Quomodo? meerely enricht by shifts, And cousnages, beleeve it. Quomodo. I see the world is verye loath to praise me, Tis Rawlye friendes with me, I cannot blame it, For what I have done, has beene to vexe and shame it. Heere comes my Sonne, the hope, the landed heyre, One whose rare thrift, will say, mens tongues you lye, Ile keepe by lawe what was got craftily. [Enter Sim.] Me thinkes I heare him say so: He does salute the liverie with good grace, And solemne Gesture

20

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87

Oh my yong Worshipful Master you have parted from a deere Father, a wise and provident father. Sim. Art thou growne an Asse now? Quomodo. Such an honest Father Sim. Prethee Beadle leave thy lying, I am scarce able to endure thee yfaith, what honesty didst thou ere know by my Father, speake? Rule your tongue Beadle least I make you prove it, and then I knowe what will become of you, tis the scurvyest thing i'th earth to belye the dead so, and hee's a beastly Sonne and heyre that wil stand by, and heare his father belyed to his face, hee will nere prosper I warrant him, Troth if I be not asham'd to goe to Church with him, I would I might be hang'd, I feare such filthye Tales goe on him, oh if I had knowne hee had beene such a lewde fellow in his life hee should nere have kept me company. Quomodo. Oh o o! Sim. But I am glad hee's gone, tho twere long first, Shortyard. and I will revell it yfaith, I have made him my Rentgatherer alreadie. Quomodo. [Aside] Hee shall bee speedilye disinherited, hee gettes not a foote, not the Crowne of a Mole-hill, ile sooner make a courtyer my heyre for teaching my wife trickes then thee, my moste neglectfull Sonne? Oh now the coarse, I shall observe yet farder.

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A counterfet Coarse brought in. Tomazin, and al the mourners equally counterfeit. Quomodo. [Aside] O my moste modest, vertuous and remembring wife, She shall have all when I dye, she shall have all. Enter Easie [unseen by Quomodo]. Tomazin. [Aside] Maister Easie? tis, oh what shift shall I make now? o h — Falls downe in a fayned swound. Quomodo. Sweete wife she sownes, ile let her alone, ile have no mercie at this time, ile not see her, ile follow the coarse. Exit.

55

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Easye.

the corpse is carried out.] The Devill grinde thy Bones, thou cousning Rascal. Old Woman. Give her a little more ayre, tilt up her 60 head, comfort thy selfe good widdowe, doe not fall like a Beast for a husband, there's more than wee can well tell where to put e'm, good soule. Tomazin. Oh, I shall be well anon. Old Woman. Fye, you have no patience yfaith, I have 65 buried foure Husbands, and never offered e'm such abuse. Tomazin. Couzen, how doe you? Easye. Sorry to see you ill Couze. Tomazin. The worst is past I hope. Pointing after the Coffin. Easye. I hope so to. P. 92 Tomazin. Lend me your hand sweet Couze, I have troubled you. 70 Old Woman. No trouble indeed forsooth Good Couzen have a care of her, comfort her up as much as you can, and all little ynough I warrant yee. Exeunt [Old Woman and Mourners]. Tomazin My moste sweete love. Easye. My life is not so deere. Tomazin. I have alwaies pittyed you. Easye. Y'ave showne it heere. 75 And given the desperate hope? Tomazin. Delay not now, Y'ave understood my love, I have a priest readye, This is the fittest season, no eye offends us, Let this kisse Restore thee to more wealth, me to more blisse. 80 Easye. The Angels have provided for me. [Exeunt.] Finit Actus Quartus. Incipit Quintus et Vltimus. Enter Shortyard with writings, having cousned Sim Quomodo. Shortyard. I have not Scope ynough within my brest,

V.l

TEXT

To keepe my joyes containde: I'me Quomodoes heire: The Lands assurances and all are mine, (I have tript his Sonnes heeles up above the ground, His father left him): had I not encouragement? Do not I knowe what proves the Fathers pray? The Sonne nere lookes on't, but it melts away. Doe not I knowe the wealth that's got by fraude? Slave's share it like the ritches of a Bawde. Why tis a curse unquenchable, nere cooles. Knaves still commit their consciences to fooles: And they betray who o'wde em, heeres all the bonds, All Easies writings, let me see.

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Enter Quomodoes Wife marryed to Easie. Tomazin. Now my desires weare crownes. Easye My joyes exceede, Man is neere healthful, till his follyes bleede. 15 Tomazin. Oh, beholde the Villaine, who in all those shapes Confounded your estate. Easye. That slave, that villaine. Shortyard. So many Acres of good meadowe Easye. Rascall. Shortyard. I heare you sir. 20 Easye. Rogue, Shortyard. Blastfield, Serjean(, Deputy, cousner! Shortyard. Holde, holde. Easye. I thirst the execution of his eares. Tomazin. Hate you that office. 25 Easye. lie strip him bare for punishment and shame. Shortyard. Why doe but heare me sir, you will not thinke What I have done for you. Easye. Given his Sonne my Lands. P. 94 Shortyard. Why looke you, tis not so, your not tolde true, I have Coosned him agen meerely for you, 30 Meerely for you sir, twas my meaning then

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MICHAELMAS TERM

That you should wed her, and have all agen. A my troth 'its true sir: looke you then heere sir, you shall not misse a little scrowle sir, pray sir, let not the Cittie knowe me for a knave, there be ritcher men would envie my preferment if I should be knowne before e'm. Easye. Villaine, my hate to more revenge is drawne, When slaves are found, tis their base Arte to fawne, [Calls] Within there .

35

[Enter Officers with Falselight bound.] Shortyard. How now? fresh warders. Easye. This is the other, binde him fast, have I found you 40 Maister Blastfield. Shortyard. This is the fruite of Craft, Like him that shootes up hye, lookes for the shaft And findes it in his fore-head, so does hit The Arrowe of our fate, wit destroyes wit: The head the bodyes bane, and his owne beares, 45 You hae Corne enough, you neede not reape mine eares, Sweete Maister Easye. Easye. I loath his voice, away. Exit [Shortyard with Falselight and Officers]. Tomazin. What happynesse was heere, but are you sure P. 95 you have all? Easye. I hope so my sweete wife. 50 Tomazin. What difference there is in Husbands, not onelye in one thing, but in all. Easye. Heeres good deedes and bad deedes, the writings that keep my lands to me, and the bonds that gave it away from me. 55 These my good deedes shall to more safetie tume, And these my bad have their desarts and burne. lie see thee agen presently, reade there. [Exit.] Tomazin. Did he want all, who would not love his care? Enter Quomodo [as Beadle],

TEXT

Quomodo. [Aside] What a wife hast thou Ephestian Quomodoso loving, so mindefull of her duetye, not onely seene to weep but knowne to swone, I knew a Widdow about Saint Antlings so forgetfull of hir first Husband, that she marryed agen within the twelvemonth, nay some berladye within the month: there were sights to be seen, had they my wives true sorrows seaven [months] nor seaven yeares would drawe e'm to the stake, I would moste tradesmen had such a wife as I, they hope they have, wee must all hope the best: thus in her honour. A modest wife is such a Jewell, Everie Gold-smith cannot show it: He that's honest, and not cruell, Is the likelyest man to owe it. And that's I, I made it by my selfe, and comming to her as a Beadle for my reward this morning, ile see how shee takes my death next her heart. Tomazin. Now Beadle. Quomodo. Blesse your mistrisships eyes from too many teares, Although you have lost a wise and worshipfull Gentleman. Tomazin. You come for your due Beadle, heere 'ith house. Quomodo. Most certaine, the Hospitall money and mine owne poore forty pence. Tomazin. I must crave a discharge from you Beadle. Quomodo. Call your man, ile heartilye set my hand to a Memorandum. Tomazin. You deale the truelyer. Quomodo. [Aside] Good wench still. Tomazin. [[Calls] George, heere is the Beadle come for his money, draw a Memorandum that he has received all his due he can claim heere ith house after this funerall. Quomodo. What politick directions shee gives him, all to secure her selfe, tis time yfaith now to pitty her, ile discover my selfe to her ere I goe, but came it off with some lively jest now, that were admyrable: I have it? after the memorandum is written and all, Ile set my owne

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name too't Ephestian Quomodo, sheele start, sheele wonder how Ephest. Quomodo came thether that was buried yesterday: y'are beset little Quomodo. [Enter Servant with memorandum.] P. 97 Tomazin. [Running over the memorandum] Ninteene, twentie, five pound, 1, 2, 3, & 4 pence. 100 Quomodo. [Signing it; aside] So, we shall have good sport, when tis read. Exit Servant. Enter Easye as Tomazin pays the money to Quomodo.\ Easye. How now Ladie, paying away money so fast? Tomazin. The Beadles due here sir. Quomodo. [Aside] Whose this? Easie, what makes Easie 105 in my house, Hee is not my wives overseer I hope. Easye. [Reading] Whats here? Quomodo. He makes me sweate. Easye. Memorandum that I have received of Richard Easie, all my due I can claime here i'th house, or any hereafter 110 for me: In witnesse whereof, I have set to mine owne hand, Ephestian Quomodo. Quomodo. What have I done? was I mad? Easye. Ephestian Quomodo. Quomodo I, well, what then sir? get you out of my house, 115 First you maister Prodigall had-land, away. Tomazin. What, is the Beadle drunke or mad? Where are my men to thrust him out a doores. Quomodo. Not so good Tomazin, not so. Tomazin. This fellow must be whipt. Quomodo. Thanke you good wife. P. 98 Easye. I can no longer beare him. 121 Tomazin. Nay sweete husband. Quomodo. Husband! I'me undone, beggard, couzend, confounded for ever: married alreadie? will it please you knowe mee now mistris Harlot, and master Horner, who am I now? [Discovers himself.] 126 Tomazin. Oh, hee's as like my tother husband as can be.

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Quomodo. lie have judgement, ile bring you before a Judge, you shall feele wife whether my flesh be dead or no, ile tickle you yfaith, yfaith. Exit. Tomazin. The Judge that heele solicite knowes me well. Exeunt. Easye. Lets on then, and our greevances first tell.

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Enter [above, Rerrage and Susan; below, Salewood, Mother V.2 Gruill, Hellgill, and] Lethe with officers, taken with his Harlot. Rerrage. Here they come. Susan. O where. Lethe. Hart of shame, Upon my wedding morning so disgraced! Have you so little conscience Officers, You will not take a bribe? Wench. Master Lethe we may lie together lawfully here5 after, for we are coupled together before people ynow yfaith. [Exeunt Officers, Lethe, etc. Manent Rerrage and Susan.] P. 99 Rerrage. There goes the strumpet. Susan. Pardon my wilfull blindnesse and enjoy me. For now the difference appeares too plaine, 10 Betwixt a base slave and a true Gentleman. Rerrage. I doe embrace thee in the best of love, How soone affections fail, how soone they prove. [Exeunt.] Enter Judge, Easie, and Tomazin in talke with him [;and V.3 Shortyard and Falselight, bound and guarded]. Judge. His cousnages are odious, he the plaintife, Not onely framde deceitfull in his life, But so to mocke his funerall. Easye. Most just. The Liverie all assembled, mourning weedes, Throughout his house een down to his last servant, 5 The Herauld richly hirde to lend him Armes, Faind from his Auncesters, which I dare sweare Knewe no other Armes but those they labour'd with,

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All preparations furnisht, nothing wanted Save that which was the cause of all, his death, 10 If he be living. Judge. Twas an impious part. Easye. We are not certaine yet it is himselfe, But some false spirit that assumes his shape, And seekes still to deceive mee. [Enter Quomodo.] Quomodo. Oh are you come? P. 100 My Lord? their here, good morrow Tomazin. 15 Judge. Now what are you? Quomodo. I am Quomodo, my Lord, & this my wife, Those my two men, that are bound wrongfully. Judge. How are we sure y'are he? Quomodo. Oh you cannot misse my Lord. Judge. lie trie you. 20 Are you the man that liv'd the famous cousner? Quomodo. O no my Lord. Judge. Did you deceive this Gentleman of his right, And laid Nets ore his land? Quomodo. Not I my Lord. Judge. Then y'are not Quomodo but a counterfet, 25 Lay hands on him, and beare him to the whip. Quomodo. Stay, stay a litle I pray, now I remember me my Lord, I cousned him indeed, tis wondrous true. Judge. Then I dare sweare this is no counterfet. Let all doubts cease, this man is Quomodo. 30 Quomodo. Why la you now, you would not beleeve this, I am found what I am. Judge. But setting these thy odious shifts apart, Why did that thought prophane, enter thy brest, To mocke the world with thy supposed death? 35 Quomodo. Conceive you not that my Lord? a policy. Judge. So. Quomodo. For having gotten the lands I thirsted still, P. 101 To know what fate would follow 'em. Judge. Being ill got. Quomodo. Your Lordship apprehends me.

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Judge. I thinke I shall anon. Quomodo. And thereupon, I out of policie possest my sonne, Which since I have found lewd, and now intend To disinherit him for ever, Not onely this was in my death set downe, But thereby a firme triall of my wife, Her constant sorrowes, her remembring vertues, All which are Dewes, the shine of a next morning Dries 'em up all I see't. Judge. Did you professe wise cousenage, and would dare To put a woman to her two dayes choice, When oft a minute do's it? Quomodo. Lesse, a moment The twinckling of an eye, a glimpse, scarce somthing do's it, Your Lordship yet will graunt she is my wife. Tomazin. O heaven! Judge. After some penance, and the Deues of law I must acknowledge that. Quomodo. I scarce like Those Deues of lawe. Easye. My Lord, altho the law too gently lot his wife, P. The wealth he left behind he cannot chalenge. Quomodo. How? Easye. Behold his hand against it [Showing memorandum.] Quomodo. He do's devize all meanes to make mee mad, That I may no more lie with my wife in perfect memorie, I know't but yet the landes will maintaine me in my wits: The lande will doe so much for mee. Judge. In witnesse whereof I have set to mine owne hand, Ephestian Quomodo. Tis firme enough your owne sir. Quomodo. A jest my Lord, I did I knew not what. Judge. It should seeme so, deceit is her owne foe, Craftily gets, and childishly lets goe. [To Easye.] But yet the lands are his.

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Quomodo. I, warrant yee. Easye. No my good Lord, the lands know the right heire, I am their master once more. Quomodo. Have you the lands? Easye. Yes truly, I praise heaven. Quomodo. Is this good dealing? Are there such consciences abroad, how? Which way could he come by 'em? My Lord Shortyard. lie quickly resolve you, that it comes to me. This cousner whom too long I call'd my patrone, To my thought dying, and the foole his sonne Possest of all, which my braine partly sweat for, I held it my best vertue, by a plot To get from him what for him was ill got. Quomodo. O beastly Shortyard.! Shortyard. When no sooner mine, But I was glad more quickly to resigne. Judge. Craft once discover'd shewes her abject line. Quomodo. He hits me every where, for craft once knowne, Do's teach fooles wit, leaves the deceiver none. My deedes have cleft me, cleft me.

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P. 103 81

Enter Officers with Lethe and the [Country Wench, Rerrage, Susan, Salewood, Hellgill, and Mother Gruill]. I. Officer. Roome there. Quomodo. A little yet to raise my spirit. Here maister Lethe comes to wed my Daughter. That's all the joy is left me: ha? who's this? Judge. What crimes have those brought foorth? Salewood. The shame of lust, Most viciously on this his wedding morning, This man was ceazde in shame with that bolde Strumpet. Judge. Why, tis she he meanes to marrye. Lethe. No in truth. Judge. In truth you doe.

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Who fore his wife his Harlot doth preferre, Good reason tis, that he should marrie her. Wench. I crave it on my knees, such was his vowe at first. P. 104 Pander. [Aside] lie say so too and worke out mine owne 101 safetie, Such was his vowe at first, indeede my Lord, Howere his moode has chang'd him? Lethe. O vilde slave! Wench. He sayes it true my Lord. Judge. Rest content, He shall both marrie and taste punishment. 105 Lethe. Oh intolerable! I beseech your good Lordship if I must have an outward punishment, let me not marrie an inward, whose lashes will nere out, but growe worse and worse: I have a wife staies for me this morning with seaven hundred pound in her pursse, let me be speedily whipt and be gone, 110 I beseech your Lordship. Salewood. Hee speakes no truth my Lord, behold the Virgin, Wife to a well esteemed Gentleman, Loathing the Sin he followes. Lethe. I was betrayed, Yes faith. Rerrage. His owne Mother my Lord, 115 Which hee confest through ignorance, and disdaine, His name so chang'd to abuse the world and her. Lethe. Marry a Harlot, why not? tis an honest mans P. 105 fortune, I pray did not one of my Countriemen marrye my Sister? why well then, if none should be marryed but 120 those that are honest where should a man seeke a wife after Christmas? I pitty that Gentleman, that has nine Daughters to bestowe, and seaven of e'm Seeded already, they wil be good stuffe by that time, I doe beseech your Lordship to remove the punishment, I am content to marrie her. 125 Judge. There's no removing of your punishment. Lethe. O good my Lord. Judge. Unlesse one heere assembled

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Whom you have most unnaturally abusde, Beget your pardon. Lethe. Who should that be? Or who would doote, that has beene so abusde? A troublesome pennance sir. Quomodo. Knave in your face, leave your mocking, Andrew, marrie your Qeane and be quiet. Lethe. Maister Easie. Easye. I'me sorrie you take such a bad course sir. Lethe. Mistris Quomodo. Tomazin. Enquire my right name agen next time, now goe your waies like an Asse as you came. Lethe. [Aside] Masse I forget my mother all this while, lie make her doo't at first, pray mother your blessing for once. Mother. Calst me Mother? out, I defie thee slave. Lethe. Call me slave as much as you will, but doe not shame me now, let the world knowe you are my Mother. Mother. Let me not have this Villaine put upon me I beseech your Lordship. Judge. Hee's justly curst, she loathes to know him now, Whome he before did as much loath to knowe, Wilt thou beleeve me woman? Mother. That's soone done. Judge. Then knowe him for a Villaine, tis thy Sonne. Mother. Art thou Andrew, my wicked Sonne Andrew? Lethe. You would not beleeve me Mother. Mother. How art thou chang'd? Is this sute fit for thee? a Tooth-drawers Sonne, this countrie has ee'ne spoilde thee since thou camst heather, thy manners [then were] better then thy cloathes, but now whole cloathes, and ragged manners, it may well be saide that truth goes naked, for when thou hadst scarce a shirt thou hadst more truth about thee. Judge. Thou art thine owne affliction Quomodo: Shortyard we banish, tis our pleasure.

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135

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P. 106 145

150

155

160

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Shortyard. Hence foorth no woman shall complaine for measure. Judge. And that all Error from our workes may stand, We bannish Falslight evermore the land. FINIS

EXPLANATORY NOTES

Page 22 Dramatis Personae Ephestian Quomodo] Quomodo appears to be a pun on the name Howe. C. J. Sisson has surveyed the rascalities of a barber-surgeon named John Howe in 1600-1601; see Lost Plays of Shakespeare's Age (Cambridge, 1936), pp. 27-30. But William Howe, a broker, was severely punished in 1596 for swindles which more closely parallel those in MT. Middleton must have known about both Howes. On William Howe see the Regents Renaissance Drama edition of MT, ed. Richard Levin (Lincoln, Nebraska, 1966), pp. xii-xiii. Ephestian is probably intended to recall both Alexander the Great's friend Hephaestion, for whom the whole empire was required to mourn, and the cuckolded god Hephaestus. Page 23 Induction 6 Civill, blacke] "Lower counsel" and clerks wore black gowns and were much more numerous than sergeants of the law and judges, in their scarlet and violet. The whitish Cloake (s. d.) probably refers to the liturgical color for Michaelmas, white. 14 Hall] Westminster Hall (the law courts). Page 24 31 S.d.fellowe poore] i.e., a rascal, such as Lethe. 33 Shrugging] seemingly, cheating or stealing. Perhaps confused with shrag, to "trim, prune". Dekker says politic bankrupts "had

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not onely coyne of their owne enough, but they had shragd others too of theirs". A Strange Horse-Race (1613), sig. F 3 v. 50 skin] Parchment, legal document. 54 sixteen times about] Apparently, remain in litigation for four years. Page 25 58 returnes] "Days of return", a return being "a certificate into the court, of that which is done by vertue of [a sheriff's] office". Michaelmas had eight returns, more than any other term. John Cowell, The Interpreter ( 1 6 0 7 ) , sig. L I I 4 V . 1.1] The setting is the Middle Aisle of St. Paul's, according to all editors. Judging by Dekker's The Gull's Hornbook, ed. R. B. McKerrow, (London, 1904), pp. 35, 41, the time is nine or ten in the morning. 4-5 before the Exchequer gapte] The Exchequer opened eight days before Michaelmas Term, according to William Harrison, A Description of England, ed. F. J. Furnivall (London, 1877), p. 209. The Term itself began on October 9 (or the 10th, if the 9th was a Sunday) and ended on November 28. Cowell, "Term", sig. Tttiv. Page 26 15-16 some may ... looke on] Proverb, cited in John Heywood, Proverbs, Epigrams and Miscellanies, ed. J. S. Farmer (London, 1906), p. 203. 18 into the North] i.e., in Scotland. Page 27 50 possest] "convinced", a sense derived from the legal distinction between possession "in law" and "in fact". 58 yet fresh] Besides Easye's individual youth and naivete, the people of Essex were mostly farmers and were regarded as especially gullible. E. H. Sugden, A Topographical Dictionary to the Works of Shakespeare and His Fellow Dramatists (Manchester, 1925), p. 182. Page 28 78 spirits] Figuratively only; these assistants are men. In All's Lost by Lust, 1633, sig. A2r, William Rowley calls Roderigo's

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pander and confidant his two evill Spirits. The names of Quomodo's accomplices specify the means of dishonesty that were frequently denounced by satirists. Shortyard's is also a meaningful sexual allusion; see R. Levin's "Sexual Equations in the Elizabethan Double Plot", Literature and Psychology, XVI (1966), 2-14.87 trap-window] As M. W. Sampson suggests, this was probably a skylight equipped with a hinged shutter that could be lowered to darken the shop. Thomas Middleton (New York, 1915), p. 378. Penthouses served the same purpose, as we learn from Westward Ho, 1.1.154-156: ",... weare their hats ore their eye-browes, like pollitick penthouses, which commonly make the shop of a Mercer, or a Linnen Draper, as dark as a roome in Bedlam". 93 Citizens abundance] i.e., "abundance of citizens bear thy name" (are impotent). Page 29 140 Against Saint Andrewes] "Opposite St. Andrew's Church"; possibly the one in Holborn, which was the parish church of a number of Inns of Chancery men who were spectators of this play. Page 30 151 Lethe] The pun on Leith enables Middleton to identify upstart courtiers with Scotsmen. See the Introduction, III, "Sources of... the Satire". 156 belowe] In Scotland; also, not as a gentleman. Page 31 182 dizzy] I.e., "dizzying"—possibly the image is of a metallic mirror. 190 knights yet] James is said to have created as many knights in two months as Elizabeth had in the last ten years of her reign. G. Davies, The Early Stuarts 1603-1660 (Oxford, 1937), p. 1. 195 horne] Probably the Horn on the Hoop, in Fleet Street (Sugden, p. 256); this "famous taverne" is cited, with the Mitre and Mermaid, in Father Hubburd's Tales (1604), sigs. C2r, Dir. King James was very fond of hunting; Lethe, who has a place in the royal household (211-215), has been given venison.

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Page 32 213 death of sturgeon] Possibly identical with a Keg of Sturgeon, a delicacy named in Westward Ho, II. 1.212 (cited by Sampson, p. 379). Page 34 302-303 six-pence British] Lethe emphasizes his generosity to his Scottish mother. A Scots sixpence had about the value of an English halfpenny. 1.2 The place is indefinite, but somewhere in London. The time is late in the morning of the next day after 1.1. Page 35 5 squall] Cf. Father Hubburd's Tales, sigs, Dir-Div: A "discontented and unfortunate Gentlewoman, whose Parents being lately deceased, the brother ranne away with all the land, and the poor Squalle [ran away] with a litle mony". 15 that] Possibly a mistaken anticipation by the compositor of that in line 16. Page 36 48 courser beauties] I.e., harlots, within] Indoors. 53 where treasure pants] "In which the virtuous country lass breathes hard as she toils." II. 1 The place is an ordinary (but probably not the Horn, which was too remote from Goldsmith's Row to be accessible to Short-yard's page; see 94-95 below and III.4.17). The time is an hour or so later than the preceding scene. 2 dice? Devils] Cf. Father Hubburd's Tales, sigs. D 2 r-D 2 v: "At Dice! at the Divell, quoth I, for that is a Dicers last throw." Page 37 14-15 you must not want money] In this scene Shortyard acts much the part of a gull-groper described by Dekker, Lanthorne and Candle-light (1608), sigs. D2V-D3r; but the cozening game described in that tract is somewhat different. 18 recover my salute] "Put on my hat again" (Sampson).

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Page 38 61 him] Lethe, as the following dialogue shows. 61-62 search... smock] Easye's indecent suggestion alludes to the proverb He was lapped in his mother's smock, meaning "He is very lucky" (lucky in general, although originally the Scottish practise of receiving a new-born in his mother's shift was thought to ensure his being favored by women). But Easye also implies that Lethe is effeminate. If the play were produced in 1604, an allusion to the punning proverb that in leap year knaves (boys and rascals) wear smocks would deepen the jest; but as it is, the remark proves nothing about the date of the play. The jibe at Lethe's effeminacy is paralleled in Henry Parrot's Laquei ridiculosi (1613), sig. Bir: Why is young Anas thus with feathers dight? And on his shoulder wears a dangling lock; The one foretels he'l sooner flie then fight; The other showes hee's wrapt in's mothers smock. See M. P. Tilley, A Dictionary of the Proverbs in England... (Ann Arbor, 1950), No. M1203; J. Chambers, Treatise against Judicial Astrologie (1601), sig. Q 4 r. 72-73 alter your body] Apparently Easye begins to remove his cloak as if to set it as a stake. Page 39 107 Standard] The great conduit in Cheapside (Sugden, p. 485). Page 42 II.2] The place is somewhere in Holborn; the time, the afternoon of the day in 1.2 and II. 1. Page 43 32 present forme] A farm laborer's costume. II. 3] In Quomodo's shop at the same time as the preceding scene. Page 44 22 cast of Manchets] According to Harrison, a bushel of fine wheat flour usually sufficed for forty cast (batches) of manchets (Description, p. 154). One cast would be a cheap gift.

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25 Ant] OED cites this instance as the earliest known use of the word in the sense of bawd. It was perhaps still rather new slang; cf. A Trick to Catch the Old One, II. 1.12.42 romes] Rooms at Court. Page 45 63 snatching dyet] Left-overs from the Court kitchen, no doubt. 65 cloath] The arras or other hangings. Page 46 93-94 commenc'd] Took his degree. Himself an Oxford man, Middleton repressents Sim and another fool, Tim Yellowhammer, in A Chaste Maid in Cheapside, as alumni of the other university. Page 47 149 sweete bedfellow] By their tone most of the references to Easye's and Shortyard's sleeping together imply sodomy. See 1.1.128-132, 171-173 of this scene, III. 4.105-106. Page 48 182 Brainford] Brentford was a place for assignations, and the nurse-child was certainly illegitimate; but the absurd idea of the two tradesmen going together on such an errand is the point. Page 49 189-190 take up a commoditie] A short analysis of the legal features of Quomodo's cozenage is given at the end of these Notes. 205 Middle-borrow] Formerly the chief staple for English wool and, in spite of the Dutch war with Spain, still an important mart. 208-209 chamber gownes, and hall gownes] Apparel for private rooms and for the great hall. 222 gracelesse Dames] See the Introduction, "Date." Page 50 226 no man] In two respects: he is diabolically cruel, and he is not virile (IV.4.34-35). 243 Starre marke] The mark of the merchant or weaver from whom Quomodo purchased the clothe; it is not in the pattern, but on the bundle or case. G. Malyne, Consuetudo... The

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Ancient Law-Merchant (1622), sigs, S^-Ssr. 246-247 Stilliard-downe] Sampson is probably correct in interpreting this name as "False-Balance"; an allusion to the German merchants' hall would be almost meaningless. Page 53 334-335 wilde of Kent] From weald, "forest" where fairies were still believed to walk, after they had disappeared from other parts of England; see J. Weever, Faunus and Melliflora (1600), sig. F2V. Hence the name Blastfield. Page 54 374 felling of Trees] Another aspect of Quomodo's malign nature; deforestation "sometimes for increase of sheepwalks, and some for maintenance of prodigalitie and pompe" was a cause for alarm in Elizabethan England. See Harrison, Description, p. 343, and W. Page and J. H. Round, The Victoria History of the County of Essex, II (London, 1907), 618-619. 381 Poultrie... Woodstreete] Municipal prisons under the control of the Sheriffs of London and populated chiefly by debtors. They were named from the streets in which they were situated and were also called counters. 382 Roman] Probably what is now called simply the Italian hand. Page 55 399 passage... stopt] England's treaty with Spain in 1604 did not better conditions of traffic with the Low Countries. Attempted Spanish blockades of Dutch ports, Dutch attacks on shipping in the Channel, and piracy frequently cut off trade. R. Winwood, Memorials of Affairs of State, ed. E. Sawyer, II (London, 1725), 7-81, passim. Page 57 486 and my] Possibly a phrase like have got has been lost after and. III. 1 ] The place is the Country Wench's lodging; the time, two or three days after the preceding scene. However, the only notable in-

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consistency in the time-scheme of the action arises here: Mother Gruill's report to Lethe (244-271) should be made not later than the morning following her delivery of the letter (II.3.1-32); yet Shortyard and Easye have had time enough to run further into debt to Quomodo (132-140). The incongruity is probably not noticed in the theatre. S.d. Comings] No doubt pronounced comb-ings. Page 58 7 wire] The whole headdress, not just its supporting wire. 11 Wench] Here and in the rest of the play the Wench is designated as Curtizan, a change probably made by Middleton. Page 59 S.d. one] A servant of Hellgill. 60 imperfect creatures] I.e., all women; not till later (114-115) does the Father see that she is a harlot, and he never recognizes her as his own daughter. Page 60 78 underput] Mistress; OED cites only this occurrence. Page 61 116-117 Witte ... foole] This sentence probably means, "This wench trying to learn worldly sophistication will soon be exploited by the roués, though they are really fools." 128 place] In the royal household. 135 I am] We are to understand here that Easye has also entered into the successive bonds; Shortyard merely avoids saying we, which would be a frightening reference to Easye's liability. Later Easye explicitly admits his liability for £700. See III.4.49, 62, 116117, 185. Page 62 174 them] Strangers, i.e., foreigners in this case, Scots. 175 there] In Hell, out] Out of preferment.

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Page 63 189-191 why... living] "If a sign of bravery is to turn one's back on one's enemy, you, a harlot who willingly accepts everybody, must be a coward." 191 whipt] Other punishments for prostitution, such as carting, are mentioned more often than whipping. However, "The very bluecoat Beadles get their trash, / By whips and rods, and the fine firking lash", All the Works of John Taylor (1630), sig. CCC3V. Since by the common law beggars were to be whipped, Shortyard may mean the Wench will end as a beggar. W. Lambard, Eirenarcha (1602), sig. Mgr. Page 66 295 hether] "In the service of this woman" (see 60-62, above). 111.2] The setting is indefinite, but somewhere near St. Paul's; it is morning, a day or two after the preceding scene. Page 67 111.3] Also near St. Paul's, a few minutes later. S.d. Sarjeant... Yeoman] John Stow says that each of the two Sheriffs of London had sixteen Sergeants (each with his Yeoman to assist him) in service of the Sheriffs and the courts. Survey of London, ed. C. L. Kingsford, II (London, 1908), 188. Assuming thirty-two Sergeants in the city, Shortyard's disguise is plausible. Robert Greene's description bespeaks more than the usual dislike: "That reprobate is the userers executioner... fat knave with a foggie face... bowsie drunkard ... for money he will betray his own father." Quip for an Upstart Courtier (1592), sig. Div. Page 68 36-38 knew, knowe] Possibly, but not certainly, these verbs were interchanged by the compositor. Page 69 111.4] In Quomodo's shop a few minutes later.

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109

Page 70 7 liverie] The Woolen Drapers Company. 15 loade] No doubt a plural; the syntax can be explained historically. See load, OED, and E. A. Abbott, A Shakespearian Grammar (London, 1929), sec. 335. 17 rowe] Probably Goldsmith's Row in Cheapside; shops in this handsome street were not, of course, limited to smiths. Page 71 1A Do you heere] Shortyard draws Easye a little apart. 96 subsidie] The tax levied by Parliament on land and goods; here equivalent to "highly assessed", wealthy. 100 Much] Ironical, in the sense of "Of course!" Falselight answers Shortyard in the same tone; Easye does not hear them, as he digs in his purse for his last coins. Page 72 109 save... harmelesse] A legal phrase,>;here implying "give ample security". 128-129] Easye understands Quomodo's reply to mean, "Throw him in the Counter, then"——a place from which Easye could hardly arrange bail. Note the refusal in line 120. Page 73 162-163 Make ... nurse] Not a posy for a ring, of course, but an aphorism in the vein of epigram. Such couplets are often satiric, like Iago's in Othello, II. 1.130-161. They are also used by the epigramwriters, e.g., E. Guilpin, "To Women", Skialetheia (1598), sig. B 3 v: Yee that have beauty and withall no pitty, / Are like a prick-songlesson without ditty. 169 within] In jail (Sampson). Page 14 191-192 fortye pound] The amount of their tax-assessment. Page 75 218 Not now] "Don't abandon me now".

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229 Bodye, goods, and Lands] The phrase incidates a statute staple or statute merchant, a dangerous bond that may leave the maker impoverished. See the discussion at the end of these Notes. Page 76 248 Recullisance] Recognizance, a general term for a bond jointly recorded in one of the courtrs by debtor and creditor as an acknowledgment of a former debt unpaid. But very commonly recognizance was applied to the more rigorous statute staple or statute merchant. See Cowell, "Recognizance", sig. Iiiir; Sir W. Blackstone, Commentaries on the Laws of England (London, 1783), II, 160-161, 341-342. Middleton does not show the most implausible steps in the swindle the acknowledging of the recognizance before a justice and the making of a bond to Quomodo by the two false citizens before Dustbox. 265-266 hee... Jealousie] "Like most men who deal in guile and deceit, my husband is extremely suspicious; I dare not interfere even secretly." III.5] The setting is indefinite, the time the next morning. 1 letters made up] The letter is never mentioned by Quomodo and perhaps was not sent to him; instead, Rerrage conspires with the Wench's Father (IV.4.23-25). Page 77 35 eaten... head] Possibly a confusion of two idioms, to eat its head off ("to cost more for food than it will sell for") and to eat itself out ("to destroy itself"). Page 79 IV. 1] The place is Quomodo's shop, an hour after the preceding scene. 19-21 lands ... assurance] The assurances are conveyances of title to Easye's real property; see V.1.3, 53-55. Terrified by the threat of long imprisonment because of the recognizance and foreseeing ruin, anyway, Easye has conveyed all his lands to the Citizens. 25 hoysted] "Raised in tax-assessment beyond my ability to pay."

EXPLANATORY NOTES

111

Page 80 33 abroad] I.e., illegitimates born at Barnet, Brentford, or elsewhere. 33-34 markes ... mouths] "They have been too old." Page 81 67 Hug ... shift] "Give me a hug, then hurry! change your costumes." 78 peach colour] On the stage at the end of the sixteenth century peach color was worn by gallants and "would-be courtiers". M. C. Linthicum, Costume in the Drama of Shakespeare and His Contemporaries (Oxford, 1936), p. 40. 91-92 what's... bellie] Tilley, Dictionary of Proverbs, No. D316. 96 and I] Perhaps the compositor omitted now between these words. Page 82 102-103 I know... die] Quomodo here describes himself unpsychologically, like Avarice in a moral interlude. No burlesque is intended. 105-108 intended... searchers] He will bribe the two women, assistants of the parish clerk, to report his death as due to plague. 106-107 fray them] Frighten people away. IV.2] The place, the Wench's lodging; the time, the same as in the preceding scene. Page 83 28 Generations] A possessive singular. The sense of the couplet may be that lust (as distinct from original sin, nature) most corrupts moral character. IV.3] The place is just in front of Quomodo's shop; the time is two days later than the preceding scene. S.d.] The sequence of events is this: The passing bell tolls as Quomodo begins his last agony; after a few beats the laments of Sim and Tomazin arise off-stage; then Falselight announces the death, there is another outburst of cries, and Shortyard enters and sends the Boy to give the sexton the order for the death-knell. After

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Shortyard has begun his soliloquy, two or three beats sound the death-knell. 9 1 . . . exprest] "I lack expression for" the happyest good. Page 84 IV.4] Before the shop, a few minutes after the preceding scene. 15-16 thou ... honestie] "You shall have my mourning gown when I am married to Easye." Page 85 54-55 seaven ... you] "In order to recover his bond for seven hundred pounds and thus save his estate, Easye will marry me, and Su, become the step-daughter of a gentleman, will be an even better match for you." Page 86 IV. 5] In front of Quomodo's shop next morning. S.d. like a Beadle] Usually one or more beadles marshaled funeral processions (see J. Brand, Observations on Popular Antiquities, (London, 1900, pp. 449-460, for a description of atypical procession). For five pounds Tomazin has engaged the Boys of Christ's Hospital (lines 13-14) to lead the cortege, singing psalms a common way of augmenting the solemnity. Later (V. 1.80-81, 89, 104) we learn that Quomodo, as Beadle, is agent to collect the Hospital's fee. (His device for substituting himself for the regular beadle of his parish is hard to imagine.) To avoid confusion, Quomodo is surely the only beadle in the funeral. The procession is just forming in front of the shop; therefore, the Beadle pauses to greet Sim. The Hospital Boys lead the procession, the coffin is carried next followed by the Beadle, then come the mourners. 12 liverie] The Drapers' Company, or a delegation from it. 19 Rawlye friendes] The capital suggests a pun, and the sense then is "bitterly hostile". Sir Walter was reprieved from sentence of death for treason in 1604.

EXPLANATORY NOTES

113

Page 87 27 Oh] In Qq, Bead., as speech heading, begins the line, and oh begins with a minuscule. Possibly the compositor omitted curves and the word as in the expression "(as Bead)". Middleton here shifted to Beadle as speech head, as he changed from Wench to Curt, III. 1.11. There is only one Beadle present, Quomodo. 30 Quomodo] In Qq, Bead. See the preceding note. Page 88 60 Old Woman] Moth, in Qq. Surely not Tomazin's mother, who would not address her daughter as good widdowe and recite the number of her dead husbands (61, 64-66); nor is there any indication that this is Mother Gruill. It is a hired mourner or a neighbor. 69 Lend... hand] Sampson rightly interprets this action as part of a betrothal ceremony (Tomazin is already on her feet and able to point after the coffin.) She is speaking, of course, to Easye, not the Old Woman, who at first appropriates the apology to herself, then understands the situation better (71-73). The Old Woman becomes a witness. V. 1 ] The place is in front of Quomodo's shop; the time, the morning after the funeral. Page 89 3 assurances ... all] The conveyances of Easye's property to the Citizens (subsequently transferred to Quomodo and Sim) as well as the preliminary bonds made by Blastfield and Easye. 12 they betray ... em] "The fools betray the knaves' schemes". 24 execution... eares] Cropping of the ears was a penalty for such offenses as petty robbery and extortion. J. Nichols, The Progresses... of King James the First, I (London, 1828), xiii. Page 90 47 Easye] Blastfield in Qq. An error by either Middleton or the compositor. If Blastfield is retained, it has to be inserted at the beginning of Easye's following speech (/ loath, etc.), as if Easye breaks off without completing a sarcasm. But this explanation is less likely

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than an error in transcription. Page 91 62-63 Widdow... Antlings] Another sign (see II.3.121, 218) of Quomodo's being a Puritan, as the widow doubtless is. St. Antholine's, in Watling Street, held morning "lectures" to which the faithful were called by a loud bell rung at five o'clock. This nuisance to the neighbors made the exercises "more depraved and slandered than any other", according to Robert Gray, the lecturer in 1609. An Alarum for England (1609), sig. A7V. Page 92 109 Memorandum] Without having read the document, Quomodo supposes he is signing a receipt (discharge, 83); now, hearing it read, he realizes he has signed a quitclaim, which (at least for purposes of this drama) has the effect of conveying all the wealth in the shop to Easye. (Legally, the instrument was "a release or acquiting of a man for any action, that he hath, or might have against [the defendant]". Cowell, sig. Hhhi.) Since Quomodo already has the deeds to Easye's estates, the exchange appears to favor the usurer still. But he has not yet formally taken possession of the lands, and he has now given Easye the resources with which to try to block Quomodo's possession legally. Page 93 129 tickle] In the sense of "sting"? The victor in a lawsuit says, "I thinke I have tickled my Adversary now." J. Taylor, The Works, ed. W. Carew Hazlitt, III (London, 1869), 16. V.2] The place is a street, possibly before Quomodo's shop; the time is a few minutes after that of V.l. S.d.] Rerrage has stationed Su so as to give her ocular proof of Lethe's baseness, Salewood, aided by the Wench's Father, has led the officers to the Wench's lodgings and thence, by arrangement with Rerrage, down this street on the way to court. 13 How ... prove] Obscure. If there is a connotation of falsity in affections, possibly the sense is "The quick death of false passions demonstrates goodness of character."

EXPLANATORY NOTES

115

V.3] The place is the Judge's chambers, a few minutes after the preceding scene. Page 94 14 you] Easye. 15 their here] Referring to Shortyard and Falselight. Page 95 57 acknowledge that] Probably used in the legal sense, "make record of" the Judge implies he will nullify the records of Tomazin's marriage to Easye, especially that in the parish register. Page 96 78 it] The burden of explaining the difficulty. 88 teach fooles wit] I.e., to shun the cozener. 92 who's this] Referring to the Wench. Page 97 115-117 His... her] Although these lines are syntactically ¡incomplete and 115 is metrically so, the passage may stand without emendation, as the completion of an aside. Possibly a clause such as And here you see has been lost before His owne. Page 98 137 Enquire... time] The only sense I can find in this retort is Tomazin's implication that she intends by some means to rid herself of Quomodo and marry Easye. She seems to be still standing beside Easye. Agen here means "before." "Another time shouldring me like a Bayliffe against Michaelmas Terme, and then shaking me ..." Father Hubburd's Tales, sig. E2V. Legal Aspects of Quomodo's Cozening of Easye Although extortion of money may sometimes have been the purpose of cozeners who used the commodity game, MT probably represents their commoner objective acquisition of title to the victim's real estate. In the series of maneuvers leading to this goal, the bond called statute merchant or statute staple (the name depending on whether the recording official was a City justice or a mayor

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of a staple) was likely to be decisive, though not final. Middleton's representation of the use of the statute and of some other legal steps is sketchy. After Easye has gambled away all his ready money, and Shortyard has also pretended to be temporarily in straits, together they make and sign a bill obligatory, or bond, which might read as follows: "Be it known unto all men by these presents that we, John Blastfield of the County of Kent and Richard Easye of the County of Essex, gentlemen, owe and are indebted to Ephestian Quomodo, citizen and draper of London, in the sum of £ 100 of lawful English money, to be paid to him, or to his attorney, executors and administrators, the 16 day of November next ensuing after the date hereof, at the great north door of Paul's Church, London. For the which payment well and truly to be made, we bind us and either of us, our heirs, executors and administrators, and everyone of us jointly and severally for the whole, and in the whole, by these presents. In witness whereof we have hereunto put our hands and seals the sixteenth day of October in the second year of the reign of our sovereign Lord James, etc." (Slightly adapted from W. West, The First Part of Symbolography (1605), sig. H^r.) Such a bond was not usually acknowledged in a court of record. It made no statement about the matter from which the obligation arose in this instance, it does not mention the cloth which the debtors were forced to accept in lieu of cash. Blastfield and Easye received only £60 in cash from Idem-Falselight. We are given to understand that they make either two or three bonds of this sort, in the total amount of £700, a sum large enough to require Easye to sell all or a large part of his estate in order to pay it and release himself from debtors' prison. Presumably all the bonds are made for the same date of payment, on the pretence that Blastfield will be well supplied with money before the month is out. When the due date arrives, Blastfield has disappeared, and Easye's liability is absolute. In the usual course, Quomodo will enter an action for debt in one of the City courts, that of the Hustings or of the Lord Mayor, and will then order the Sheriff to arrest the debtors, put them in one of the Counters, and hold them till payment is made. Although Easye's future will appear bleak, he can find bail and then

EXPLANATORY NOTES

117

bring a suit for fraud against Quomodo in Chancery an expense for all concerned. When arrested, Easye is terrified by the threat of imprisonment. Sergeant Shortyard suggests that he find bailors so that he can find time to appeal to Alsup or Blastfield for aid; but as an immediate source of money, Easye knows only Quomodo. When Quomodo proves relentless, Shortyard finds two Citizen-bailors (himself and Falselight). Frantic with fear of the Counter, Easye offers to give the bailors the bond of statute merchant (which they would have asked for if he had not offered it). This kind of recognizance (see the notes on lines III.4.229 248) provides as a penalty for default an execution of "the bodie, lands, and goods of the Debtor". Specifically, the official who has recorded the bond orders the imprisonment of the debtor; if within half a year he has not paid, "all the landes and goods of the debtor shalbe delivered unto the merchant by a reasonable extent [i.e., sheriff's appraisal] to hold them untill such time as the debt is wholy levied". The merchant "shall have such seisin in the lands and tenements delivered unto him ... as freeholde, to hold to him and his assignes, untill the debt be paied." (W. Rastell, A Collection ... of the Statutes (1588), sig. Dddir; The Statutes Made and Established (S.T.C. 9303) (1564), I, sig. F 5 v). Although the merchant did not at once hold the lands in fee simple, everything indicates that he could soon acquire that tenure. During the debtor's imprisonment the merchant found him in bread and water. Probably Easye is ignorant of these consequences; otherwise he might prefer imprisonment for the original bond. However, with the Citizens he goes before a justice or clerk and acknowledges a statute merchant. In turn, the bailors pretend to give an ordinary bond to Quomodo for £700, the figure at which Quomodo has set bail. A two-day search for Blastfield begins. As the hour of payment or imprisonment draws near, Easye panics and from somewhere produces the assurances, i.e., deeds to his real estate, which he conveys to the Citizens in payment for the statute merchant (the latter must be surrendered to him by the bailors). Next, the Citizens endorse the conveyances to Quomodo, and hence Easye is a "free man".

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After Quomodo's pretended death, Shortyard induces Sim to endorse the assurances to himself; but then, terrified by Easye's threats, Shortyard gives them up, as well, probably, as the original bonds for £700 which Quomodo would not destroy until he had taken possession of Easye's lands. Easye has now only to nullify the conveyances of his estate.

TEXTUAL NOTES

The following notes include all substantive editorial changes made in the text of the quarto edition of 1607, as well as thirty-six stoppress variants. Ten copies of the first edition have been collated. The edition of 1607 is denoted by Qi and that of 1630 by Q2; Qq signifies both. Copies of the 1607 quarto are identified by the Library of Congress symbols for the libraries owning them, except two: one of the British Museum copies, C.34.d.40, is indicated by BM and the William A. White David Weld copy, by We. The other copies collated are these: CSmH, Huntington; CtY, Yale Elizabethan Club; DFo &c, Bridgwater Clawson Folger; DFocu, Coleorton Hall Folger; MB, Boston Public; MH, Harvard; MWiW-C, Chapin; and Pf, Carl H. Pforzheimer. Page 22 No Dramatis Personae is given in Qq. The spelling of the names here and in the speech headings is assumed to be Middletorís chiefly on the authority of the first two quires of Q\, A and B (see the Introducrion, "Text"). Page 25 Actus Primus.] Omitted from Qq; but all following act-divisions are given. There are no scene divisions. Page 26 26 is newly falne BM, Ct Y. MB, MH, MWiW-C; is falne CSmH, DFo be- DFocn, Pf, We.

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33 disease?] BM, CtY, MB, MH, MWiW-C; disease. CSmH, DFobc, DFoch, Pf We. 41 S. d. Cockstone a Gentleman,] BM,

CtY,

MB, MH, MWiW-C; Cockstone, a Gentleman SCmH, DFobc, DFoch, Pf, We. 44 since,] BM, CtY, MB, MH, MWiW-C; since CSmH,

DFobc, DFoCh, P f , We.

Page 28 85 commodities looke sleeke,] Q2; commodities, looke, seeke, Qi. 105 on, yet commands her:] Q2; on. Yet commands her Q\. Page 30 149 Whose this] Whose tis Qi; Who's this Q%. It is almost certain that Middleton wrote the phrase Whole tis both here and at V.1.105. On folio 25T of the Trinity College MS of A Game at Chesse, in Middleton's own hand, we find the White Knight's exclamation whats tis! (III. 1.197 in the ed. by Bald, Cambridge, 1929). In the Huntington andArchdall Folger MSSandin two of the quartos tis is corrected to this. I believe the dramatist's use of tis for this resulted rather from his own pronunciation or his deliberate use of a vulgarism than from hasty writing. 160 parts,] CSmH, DFobc, DFocn, MB, MH, MWiWC, Pf, We; parts BM, CtY. Page 31 190 yet,] CSmH, DFobc, DFoch, MB, MH, MWiW-C, Pf, We; yet BM, Ct Y. 198 home weele Rime] BM, Ct Y; h o m e — w e e l e Rime CSmH, DFo*c, MB, MH, MWiW-C, Pf, We. 203 this is kindnes] CSmH, DFobe, DFocb, MB, MH, MWiW-C, Pf, We; this kindnes BM, Ct Y. 207-246 In Qq these lines are set in italic, presumably to gain space. In Qq they occupy about 34 1/2 lines; within the same margins they would require 371/2 lines of roman. Page 33 276 disguise] Dyce; disquire Qq. 287-288 speak ill of him now I can tell you] CSmH, DFobc, DFoCh, MB, MH, MWiW-C, Pf, We; speake ill of him I can you now BM, CtY. 290 haviour] BM, CtY; behaviour CSmH, DFbc, DFoch, MB, MH, MWiW-C, Pf, We. 291

TEXTUAL NOTES

Hee] BM, CtY; His CSmH, DFobc, DFoch, MB, MH, Pf, We.

121 MWiW-C,

Page 34 1.2

4-21 In Qq these lines are set in italic. See the note on 1.1.207-246. 5 squall,] CSmH, DFobc, DFocn, MB, MH, MWiW-C, Pf, We; squall BM, CtY. Page 35 16 world,] CSmH, DFobc, DFoch, MB. MH, MWiW-C, Pf, We; world BM, CtY. 18 thee] BM, CtY; thee, CSmH, DFobc, DFOCH, MB, MH, MWiW-C, Pf, We. decking,] CSmH, DFobc, DFoch, MB, MH, MWiW-C, Pf, We; deckning BM, CtY. 30 hangd,] CSmH, DFobc, DFocb, MB, MH, MWiW-C, Pf, We; hangd BM, CtY. 35 doo't,] CSmH, DFobc, DFocb, MB, MH, MWiW-C, Pf, We; doo't BM, CtY. 37 thing] CSmH, DFobc, DFoch, MB, MH, MWiW-C, Pf, We; things BM, CtY. II. 1 Page 36 7 sir?] Qr, sir. Qv 11.2

Page 43 27 What] 02; What, Qi. 34 advise,] Q2 ; advise. Qi. 11.3 16 e'm,] Qz; e'm Qx. Page 45 61 foole] Qo; foote g i . Page 48 182 Brainford] BM, CSmH, CtY, DFobc, DFocn, MB, We;Bradford MH, MWiW-C, Pf. Braniford, sig. D\v, is the second state. The type seems to have become loose and then been restored erroneously while the running title of another page in the forme, D&, was being

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corrected from Terme to Tearme, the prevalent C-I. Copies with Braniford also have Tearme.

spelling in sheets

Page 52 320 Drop,] Drop Qq. Page 54 377 out,] MH, MWiW-C; out BM, CSmH, CtY, DFobc, DFocn, MB, Pf, We. Executioner] MH, MWiW-C; Executioner. BM, CSmH, CtY, DFobc, DFoch, MB, Bf, We. 378 writes.] MH, MWiWC; writes: BM, CSmH, CtY, DFobc, DFocn, MB, Pf, We. 379 cut, will] BM, CSmH, Ct Y, DFobc, DFoc,h MB, Pf, We; cut, he will MH, MWiW-C. Page 55 415 streete,] streete Qq. 433 Quomodo wil] DFobc, DFOcH, MB, MH, Pf, We; Quomodo we wil BM, CSmH, CtY, MWiW-C. Page 56 446 proper springall] Dyce; proper springfull Qq. The emendation can be defended on orthographic, rhetorical, and semantic grounds. 451 spemque] Qi; springque Q\. Middleton's Secretary "e" followed by italic m and the contraction for que could be misread-ringq. Fundamentally however, sprinque offers too feeble a meaning. Page 51 488 of] BM, CtY, DFobc, DFoch, MB, MH, MWiW-C, Pf, We; for CSmH. For is associated with Finis (just below) as a late correction on Eiv and with Finis as an early one on Gar (III.5.81). (The running titles and press-corrections combine to indicate that inner E and outer G were printed at ine same time, with different skeletons and on different presses.) Finis is certainly unauthentic; therefore, for is probably so. Finit] BM, CtY, DFobc, DFocn, MB, MH, MWiW-C, We; Finis CSmH, Pf.

TEXTUAL NOTES

123

III.l Page 60 96 Rerrage] Rera. DFobc, DFocn, MB, MH, Pf, We; Rerg. BM, CSmH, CtY, MWiW-C. 98 Foole,] Foole Qq. 100 Gentlemen?] DFobc, DFocn, MB, MH, Pf, We; Gentlemen. BM, CSmH, CtY, MWiW-C. 114 Father] Dyce; Sho. Qq. Page 61 116 Schoole,] MB, MH, Pf; Schoole? DFobc, DFoCh, We; Schoole : BM, CSmH, CtY, MWiW-C. 117 foole?] MB, MH, Pf, foole: DFobc, DFocn, We; foole, BM, CSmH, CtY, MWiW-C. Page 66 282 marriage?] marriage Qq. 291 use,] use Qq. III. 4 Page 69 11 leacher] Dyce; leather Qq. Middleton's Secretary c and t are much alike, in a furde] Q2; in furde Q\. Page 76 266 reape] Q%; rape Q\. III.5 Page 77 36 How,] How Qq. Page 79 80 Finit] BM, CSmH, MB; Finis CtY, DFobc, DFocn, MH, MWiW-C, Pf, We. IV. 5 Page 86 3 teares] Found only in the catch word in Qq. 22 One] Q%; Ont Q\. Presence of the comma after heyre favors the emendation.

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Page 87 27-28 In Qq these lines are preceded by the speech heading "Bead[le]". See the Explanatory Notes. 30 Quomodo.] Bead. Qq. 33 Father, speake?] Dyce; Father speake, Q\; Father? speake, Qz. Page 88 60 Old Woman.] Moth, Qq; Thomasine's Mother. Dyce, Bullen, Sampson. See Explanatory Notes. 82 Finit] Finis Qq. V.l Page 90 47 Easy] Sampson; Blastfield Qq. Page 92 105 Whose this?] Whose? tis Qi; Who's? this Q2; Who's this? 'Tis Dyce. See the note on 1.1.149. V.2 Page 93 4 bribe?] BM, CSmH, DFobc, DFocn, MB, MWiW-C, Pf, We; bribe. CtY, MH. V.3 Page 94 29 counterfet] BM, CSmH, DFobc, DFoch, MB, MWiW-C, We; counterfet CtY, MH.

Pf,

Page 96 89 S. d. Country Wench] Harlot Qq. 93 Salewood] Dyce; Gent. Qq. As Salewood certainly speaks at 112-114, it is practically certain that he (not Rerrage) steps forward here. 98 fore] for Qq. Page 97 108 lashes] Q2; lastes Qi. 112 Salewood] Gent. Qq.

TEXTUAL NOTES

125

Page 98 136 Mistris] Q2; Maister Q\. Possibly the manuscript read "M. Quomodo". 153 sute] BM, CSmH, DFobc, DFbb, MB, MWiW-C, Pf, We; suite Ct Y, MH.

A TRICK TO CATCH THE OLD ONE

INTRODUCTION

I. AUTHORSHIP

No one has published an attempt to controvert the testimony of the title pages of the two earliest editions, those of 1608 and 1616, which respectively ascribe A Trick to Catch the Old One to T. M. and to T. Middleton. No internal or external evidence indicates the hand of any other dramatist in this comedy.

II. DATE OF COMPOSITION

Middleton probably composed A Trick between 1605 and 1607, that is, about four or five years after he began to write for the stage, late in 1600 or early in 1601. Judged by its skillful technique, this comedy is not an early attempt by a novice; it is a decidedly more artistic work than Your Five Gallants, for instance. As to external evidence, however, the only certain date in the early history of the play is a record in the Stationers' Register. On 7 October 1607 George Eld, printer and publisher, entered two plays as his copies, bearing as license for production and printing the allowance of Sir George Buc, Master of the Revels. They were A Trick and The Revenger's Tragedy.1 A Trick belongs to the large number of plays from the repertories of the Children of Paul's and the Children of the Revels (or Blackfriars Boys), plays which reached the 1 W. W. Greg, A Bibliography of the English Printed Drama to the Restoration, I (London, 1939), 23.

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hands of publishers when these companies fell into difficulties and approached their dissolution between 1606 and 1608.2 The first (later cancelled) title page of the first edition (1608) says indefinitely that A Trick had been "lately acted" by the Paul's Boys, a statement which may mean performances during the season of 1606-1607 or even that of 1605-1606. The artistry of the comedy leads one to suppose that it must have more than one sequence of performances. Under normal conditions it would have been revived in successive seasons, even though newness was more valued in the repertories of the private theaters than in those of the public ones, and despite occasional closing of the theaters in 1606 and 1607 because of plague. There is some reason to think Michaelmas Term and A Trick were written at no great distance in time. General similarities of theme and technique, as well as parallels of diction, imply this proximity. In both plays the gallant who has been victimized by an avaricious citizen-money lender finally escapes from the grasp of his adversary with the deed to his property in his own hands; but he extricates himself only because the citizen throws aside his usual guile under the domination of a gatuous impulse. Quomodo (more weakly motivated than Lucre and Hoord), tickled by the success of his cozenage, thrusts himself into a disastrous scheme because he thinks his craft to be all-conquering. Lucre's and Hoord's cunning and caution are so mastered by their passion to humiliate each other that they swallow mere gossip as fact; Hoord marries a stranger, and Lucre gives back Witt-good's estates to him and helps to pay his debts. There are, of course important differences of structure between the plays; but these thematic parallels are stronger than any between A Trick and Your Five Gallants and A Mad World, My Masters. A Trick does not have many apparent topical references. The most distinct is a mention of Povey's attempt to ignore the ban on the construction of wooden buildings (III.4.3-4); but the Povey business spans about three years, 1605-1607. H. N. Hillebrand 2 H. N . Hillebrand, "Thomas Middleton's The Viper's Brood", Modern Language Notes, XLII (1927), 35-38; G. R. Price, "The Authorship and the Bibliography of The Revenger's Tragedy", The Library, 5th series, XV (1960), 262-270

INTRODUCTION

131

believed that the history of the boy companies places A Trick in the repertory of the Blackfriars in 1605,3 and this inference may well be the truth, If so, A Trick may have been composed in 1605 shortly after Povey's conflict with authority began to attract attention. If the reference to Povey is not a later interpolation (and I see no bibliographical evidence that it is), then 1605 appears a probable date for the composition of the play.

III. PUBLICATION

As mentioned above, the original title page, on signature A2 recto of the first quarto, assigns the comedy to the repertory of the Children of Paul's. The cancelling title page, on signature Ai recto, provides more information, though not with perfect clarity: "As it hath beene often in Action, both / at Paules, and the Black- / Fryers. Presented before his Majestie on / New-yeares night last. / Composed by T. M. / [.Printer's mark.] AT LONDON / Printed by G: E. and are to be sold by Henry Rockytt, / at the long shop in the Poultrie under / the Dyall. 1608." Although these statements seem clear, historians of drama have not found them so and may have been somewhat misled by them. Space is not available here for full discussion of the bibliographical facts which throw light on the assertions about production and date; 4 only a summary may be offered. Having found no contemporary record of performance at Court by the Blackfriars Boys other than one in 1609, E. K. Chambers came to the conclusion that A Trick must have been presented on January 1 of that year; and W. W. Greg agreed, making the natural inference that the cancel title page dated 1608 must record a legal, not a calendar, date, that is, that it really means 1609 in our style. But it is hard to understand how the printer, setting the play in type in January, February, or March, with the expectation of the edition's being sold in later months, should put "1608" in the imprint of the cancel title, through mere inadvertence. Furthermore, Cham3

H. N. Hillebrand, The Child Actors (Urbana, 1926), p. 205. A detailed discussion is offered in my article, "The Early Editions of A Trick to Catch the Old One", The Library, 5th series, XXII (1967), 205-227. 4

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bers' and Greg's interpretation seems to lead to difficult alternatives: One, that the printer-publisher, Eld, kept the manuscript for about fifteen months (after registering on 7 October 1607) before printing it - an inference which makes the necessity of cancelling the first title page more obscure; or, two, that Eld published the play in late 1607 or early 1608, yet sold only a small fraction of the edition; therefore, in 1609 he reissued A Trick with a cancel title page which was, in effect, misdated. Such a poor sale by a successful tradesman handling a fine comedy is incredible. A more intelligible explanation of the publication lies essentially in three facts: (1) A Trick and The Revenger's Tragedy (of which the title page was corrected during printing, f r o m " 1607" to "1608" 5 )are are closely related bibliographically by simultaneous entry in the Register, by a number of watermarks in the paper used, and by a change of date on the title pages. (2) In printing A Trick Eld's method of canceling, that is, putting sheet A through the press a second time, was necessary for economy because the order of printing most formes of the edition was outer first in the press, then inner. Finally, as Hillebrand has said, 6 (3) the absence of any recorded performance of A Trick (or any form of entertainment) at Court during the Christmas seasons of 1607 and 1608 cannot be used to support the conclusion that no plays were performed. In fact, the last recorded performance of the Paul's Boys at Court, on 30 July 1606, is mentioned only in a tract. Therefore, no substantial reason opposes acceptance of Eld's apparent meaning, that A Trick was printed just before, or during, the legal year 1608, and that the Court performance occurred on New Year's night of 1607 or 1608 - more probably 1607. Late 1607 or early 1608 appears the most likely date of printing. For reasons that can only be guessed at, the publisher arranged for the edition to be sold at Margaret Allde's shop, which seems to have been managed by a young stationer, Henry Rocket; but Eld kept the copyright and reprinted A Trick in large octavo format in 1616, again selling it through a newly admitted stationer, Thomas Langly. As the second edition was printed entirely from the first 5 6

Price, "Authorship and Bibliography of The Revenger's Tragedy", pp. 270-271. Hillebrand, Child Actors, p. 212.

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without more correction than the compositors contributed in a routine fashion, it lacks substantial textual value. The comedy was not printed again until the edition by C. W. Dilke, in his Old English Plays (London, 1814-1815). Alexander Dyce, of course, included A Trick in his edition of The Works of Thomas Middleton (London, 1840), which was re-edited with a few changes in the notes by A. H. Bullen (London, 1885). Of more recent editions the two that have proved most useful to me are those by Martin Sampson, in Thomas Middleton (New York, 1915), and by C. R. Baskervill, V. B. Heltzel, and A. H. Nethercot, in Elizabethan and Stuart Plays (New York, 1934).

IV. THE TEXT

The text furnished by the quarto is, on the whole, a good one. The compositors worked, I believe, from a manuscript in Middleton's own handwriting or an extremely close transcription of it. Many details of act-division, punctuation, and spelling conform to Middleton's habits as revealed by his manuscripts of A Game at ChesseP Eld appears to have been a prosperous stationer, and his workmen seem to have been normally competent and responsible. The quarto of A Trick does not reveal signs of serious corruption; although minor confusions occur, there is some cause for attributing many of them to the dramatist's oversight as he composes or revises rapidly. At point (III. 1.29) he failed to indicate his intention to expunge a passage of fifteen lines; I have removed the lines to the Textual Notes. The editor of A Trick is required to provide about twenty-three entrances which have been omitted and to supply or clarify about eight stage directions; all of these omissions were of very minor importance to the stage manager for whose use Middleton transcribed this manuscript. There are no real cruxes in the text. Of the thirty-two stop-press corrections (not counting the canceled title page) which Eld's printers made in the quarto, only two are of much interest. One is v

Price, "Early Editions of A Trick to Catch the Old One", pp. 207-212.

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the insertion of a stage direction (Middleton's above) which in the original type-setting had been incorporated into the dialogue (IV.4.284). The other is the correction of a proper name which probably was completely unfamiliar (as a word) to the original compositor of the passage (1V.4.205). The rest of the press corrections are of little significance textually. They are given in the Textual Notes. In making alterations from the mechanics of the quarto, I have followed the principles mentioned in the introduction to this volume. Of the comparatively few additional changes the more important are cited in the Textual Notes. Less important ones made silently are justified on the principle that each change prevents a momentary misunderstanding of a passage which, after reflection, would be deemed certain in its meaning. Of the fourteen surviving copies of the first edition which are known to me, I have collated nine and checked the stop-press variants in three others. A list of these copies begins the Textual Notes. Greg's list of copies, published in volume I of A Bibliography, No. 262, may be corrected in a few details. The Harvard University copy has the cancellans title page, not the original; and Yale University and the National Library of Scotland possess copies (the latter has an inlaid leaf H4 from the 1616 edition to replace the original H4). To Greg's list of exemplars of the octavo of 1616 should be added one in the Library of Worcester College, Oxford, formerly the C. H. Wilkinson copy, and a second copy held by Yale University. (One of the two at Yale, formerly the Frank J. Hogan copy, is intact; the other, a Bridgewater Library duplicate, has been made up, with most of its leaves inlaid. Moreover, quires B and E and leaf H4 are from the quarto of 1608.) Hence at least thirteen survivors are known. 8 I have collated the Huntington Library copy with the text of 1608, word for word, and have checked questionable readings in the Boston Public, Harvard, Folger, and both Yale copies. 8 Greg errs in stating (Bibliography, I, 396) that the Boston Public Library copy has the variant botth on the title page; no American copies show this variant. The Boston Public Library and Bridgewater-Yale copies have the earlier states of the other two variants Greg lists, i.e., commas lacking after Paules and "-ers". In passing it may be noted that the Turk's head on the title page of the 1616 edition is Eld's printer's mark, not Langley's.

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V. SOURCES

Thus far no one has discovered any literary source that demonstrably served Middleton as a guide for the plot of A Trick. As Margery Fisher observed many years ago, "... we cannot expect to ascertain, in many cases, the exact source of such incidents... from Middleton's London plays." 9 Though Miss Fisher did not mention A Trick particularly, the stratagem of presenting the Curtizan to the world of London as the Widow Medler is the sort of cozenage of which she wrote. It recalls the traditional deceptions described in fabliaux and jest books 10 and especially in the conycatching tracts by Harman, Awdeley, and Greene. However, impostures were also frequent in the tradition of Roman comedy. Despite this abundance of precedent, it is a little surprising that no close parallel has ever been cited. Consequently, the sources of A Trick, other than Middleton's own observation of London life, must be described in terms of the influence of dramatic and other literary traditions. From the critical point of view, no doubt the most important tradition in the play is that of the morality play and the interlude. Persistence of the morality technique is quite discernible. Although the character of Dampit conveys more satire than any other single element in the comedy and seems also to be a lampoon of a particular man, he is clearly the personification of the vice of avarice, vividly depicted as the source of degradation and final damnation. 11 In these scenes Charity is not presented in overt opposition to Avarice, but a natural horror at such corruption is expressed through the reproaches of Audry and even more by the chorus of scornful visitors to Dampit's death chamber (IV.5). Although themselves ordinary sinners, they utter the universal repulsion from extreme vice, to the same effect as the 9 Margery Fisher, "Notes on the Sources of Some Incidents in Middleton's London Plays", Review of English Studies, XV (1939), 293. 10 For example, Mery Jests of the Wyddow Edyth, 1573, ed. W. Carew Hazlitt in Shakespeare Jest-Books, III (London, 1864), recounts a dozen repetitions of a simple imposture by the widow, operating alone; none of them parallels the situation in A Trick except in the widow's pretence of being wealthy. 11 See Richard Levin's fine article, "The Dampit Scenes in A Trick to Catch the Old One", Modern Language Quarterly, X X V (1964), 140-152.

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personified virtues of a morality play. A less striking, yet distinct, element of the morality tradition is the self-awareness of Dampit and several other characters about their quality and moral significance. They introduce themselves by self-description in soliloquy, for instance, Witt-good (his exposition of course has plot-utility, also) in 1.1.1-33; Lucre in II.1.1-14; and Dampit (Witt-good has already sketched him) in 1.4.43-70. Again, Witt-good descends from the prodigal sons of earlier drama, although, as his opening soliloquy reveals, at the beginning of the play he is already repentant, at least to the degree of hating his vices because of the distress they are causing him. And although he does not hate the embodied cause of his sins, the Curtizan, he casts her off decisively. To confirm that both are reformed, the last scene of the play presents a dramatic image, their kneeling while they proclaim, in archaic tetrameter couplets, a renunciation of vice. The elements of morality and interlude are merged with those of social satire, for which dramatic techniques had been developed by Jonson and Marston. The stereotype of the usurer 12 portrayed so often in moral tracts, sermons, and verse satires of the 1590's outlined for the audience the character of Dampit as a menace to society. His specialty of exploiting the loopholes and obscurities of the law, in his activités as litigant and counselor, utilizes another common object of satire, dishonest, avaricious lawyers. "They say the Lawyers have the Divel and all : and it is like enough he is playing Ambodexter amongst them", says Nashe in Pierce Penniless(\592).13 About the moral significance of Hoord and Lucre something will be said below. The minor characters of A Trick also strengthen the satiric purpose by exposing greed as pervading London society. Moneylove's single motive is clear; it is also Mistress Lucre's and Sam Freedome's, with little modification. Mistress Lucre abruptly terminates Sam's attraction toward Joyce Hoord in order to capture the rich widow for him. Their plan has not enough time to grow beyond the initial move of a bribe offered to the widow and accepted. However, 12

Celeste Turner Wright, "The Usurer's Sin in Elizabethan Literature", Studies in Philology, XXXV (1938), 178-194. 13 Pierce Penilesse, sig. B3r.

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the values by which these middle-class people live are made the basis of action; and, like Hoord and Lucre, they pay for their materialism with frustration. The comic satire in the play is evidently rooted in radical criticism of social standards; and its underlying moral assumptions constitute the most important kind of realism in A Trick. Lastly, this play has a number of somewhat vague parallels with the conventions of Roman comedy, particularly in the types to which a few of Middleton's characters belong. For instance, Wittgood resembles the young Roman prodigal whose dissipation has deprived him of his estate and imperiled the success of his love for a slave-girl or young courtesan. (To adapt the situation to Elizabethan society, the angry father has been replaced by a swindling uncle, Lucre; and the slave-girl has become the niece of a rival usurer, Hoord.) Moreover, although Witt-good conceives the idea of the stratagem, he gives up the moving of the intrigue to Lucre, Hoord, and the Curtizan and takes on the passivity often marked in heroes of classic comedy. Up to the middle of the play (III. 3) the Host, because of his volubility and his gusto in enacting the servant of the Widow, faintly reminds one of the clever slaves of Plautine drama, although he does not invent any of the intrigue and, in fact, is himself a dupe in it. But after Hoord carries away the Widow, the Host is neutralized into mere furniture. Other minor borrowings from classic comedy may be detected. Dampit's fantastic, polysyllabic terms of abuse probably have their ultimate origin in the extravagant invective common in Plautus's plays; and the pretentious, ironic names, such as Onesiphorus and Walkadine Hoord, Sir Tristram Lamprey, and Pecunius Lucre may derive from that tradition, also (see the Explanatory Note on the Dramatis Personae).14 The only claim for a particular Plautine comedy as a major source has been made by Signi Falk, who argues for Persa as Middleton's inspiration. But her statement that both plays "concern a similar subject, a group of rascals from the lower strata of 14

Significant names occur in moralities and interludes, e.g., Ignorance, Misericordia; but they lack the ironic pomposity which Plautus gives them.

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society who swindle unprincipled sharpers out of considerable wealth" 1 5 at once raises objections. Valid interpretation of A Trick requires the correction that neither Witt-good, nor the Curtizan, nor the Host is a rescal in any serious meaning of the word: Witt-good is a gentleman who has fallen into dissipation, the Curtizan is a village girl whom he has seduced (she is not a harlot); and the Host's worst vice is a habit of fostering young men's follies by sharing in them (1.1.68, 1.2.15, 63). In contrast, the swindlers in Persa are far lower, socially and morally - two slaves and a parasite. If Lucre and Hoord may be described, rather loosely, as "unprincipled sharpers", the statement that they are victims of a swindle must be denied as a distortion of the basic situation in A Trick. Except for the use of a young woman as imposter in both plays, there are almost no parallels in the plots. In Persa the pimp Dordalus is deluded into buying a beautiful Arab slave-girl (the imposter) without first requiring proof from a Persian sea-captain (one of the swindlers) that the Persian legally owns her. When the girl's father (another of the cozeners) comes and carries her home, the pimp finds he has lost both money and slave. This cozenage depends on disguising the girl and the pretended sea-captain; on the other hand, A Trick makes no use of disguise. Not mentioned by Miss Falk are the disguised swindler's use of nonsense names, in Persa, and also passages of comic billingsgate similar to Dampit's abuse of Audry. But as noted above, these are generic resemblances to Plautine comedy, not to Persa. Perhaps Miss Falk implies, though she does not explain, the only definite parallel between the two comedies, the motivation of the dupes. In Persa the pimp Dordalus allows his cupidity, roused by the girl's beauty and intelligence, to overcome his ordinary caution, so that he fails to demand proof of ownership before he pays the captain. In A Trick Hoord's and Lucre's mutual hatred, blended with avarice, drives them into costly blunders. But this similarity of motivation loses most of its significance as a clue to influence when one sees that, whereas Dordalus merely becomes the dupe of the 15

Signi Falk, "Plautus's Persa and Middleton's A Trick to Catch the Old One", Modern Language Notes, LXVI (1951), 19.

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16

swindlers, Hoord's and Lucre's passion makes them take the initiative and engineer their own defeat by attack and counterattack. Although Middleton's knowledge of Persa is not demonstrable, the preceding comments may have clarified the relation of A Trick to the Plautine tradition. More important, however, is the point that Middleton, while successfully combining the several traditions of Elizabethan drama, with a touch of genuis has motivated the action through a universally understood human drive - an habitual, fierce rivalry between two old men, a hatred that sprang originally from avarice, but at last has grown so powerful in its own nature that it overrules the very qualities by which avarice thrives, calculation and caution. This result is highly comic; and in view of the commonplace disparagement of the play's moral tone, one should add that the frustration of the usurers' stratagems becomes a moral spectacle precisely because hatred is shown to be ridiculously self-defeating. In comparison, sheer avarice is a less intelligible motive than hatred; but to prevent the underlying power of avarice from being forgotten, Middleton introduces the disgusting person of Dampit. Technically, though the Dampit episodes serve some useful needs of plot, they fail of being completely integrated into the play. Thematically, they state a moral truth powerfully, but without complete logical consistency with the moralism of the plot (since the old men's hatred now lives by pride rather than avarice). Yet Middleton's underlying conception of moral truth is clear and sound. All in all, A Trick is a brilliant comedy.

16 Miss Falk admits that tricks for cheating pimps occur in at least four other of Plautus's comedies. P. 19, note 1.

TEXT

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

Theodorus Witt-good, a penniless young gentleman. P. a Pecunius Lucre, an uncle of Witt-good. Walkadine Hoord, an enemy of Lucre. The Host of an inn, a friend of Witt-good. Onesiphorus Hoord, a brother of Walkadine. Limber and Kixe, friends of Onesiphorus and Walkadine Hoord. Sir Tristram Lamprey, Spichcocke, Sir Lancelot, friends of Walkadine Hoord who have had dealings with Dampit. Harry Dampit, a pettifogging usurer. Gulfe, a usurer. Sam Freedome, a stepson of Lucre. Monylove, a suitor of Joyce Hoord. Cock-pit, one of Witt-good's creditors. George, a servant of Lucre. Arthur, a servant of Hoord. The Curtizan Jane, formerly mistress of Witt-good. Ginnee, second wife of Lucre, mother of Sam Freedome. Joyce Hoord, niece of Walkadine and Onesiphorus. Lady Foxestone, an acquaintance of Walkadine Hoord. Audry, a servant of Dampit. A Scrivener. Gentleman, friends of Lucre. Boys, servants to Dampit and to one of Witt-good's creditors. Two of Witt-good's creditors (with Cock-pit). A servant to Walkadine Hoord.

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Several tradesmen: a vintner, a tailor, a barber, a perfumer, a falconer, and a huntsman. P. b The Time: About 1606. The Scene: A country town in Leicestershire and several houses in London.

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P. 1

[ACT 1.] Enter Witt-good a Gentleman, solus.

1.1

Witt-good. All's gone! still thou'rt a Gentleman, that's all; but a poore one, that's nothing: What Milke brings thy Meadowes forth now? where are thy goodly Uplands and thy Downe-lands, all sunck into that little pitte Lecherie? why should a Gallant pay but two shillings 5 for his Ordnary that nourishes him, and twenty times two for his Brothell that consumes him? but where's Long-acre? in my Uncles conscience, which is 3. yeares voyage about; he that setts out upon his conscience, nere finds the way 10 home againe, he is either swallowed in the quick-sands of Law-quillits, or splits upon the Piles of a Praemunire; yet these old Foxe-braind - and oxe-browde Uncles have still defences for their Avarice, and Apologies for their practises, and will thus greete our follyes. Hee that doth his youth expose, 15 To Brothell, drinke, and danger, Let him that is his neerest Kinne, Cheate him before a stranger. And that's his Uncle, 'tis a principle in Usury; I dare not visit the Cittie, there I should bee too soone visited, by 20 that horrible plague my Debts, and by that meanes I loose a Virgins love, her portion and her Vertues, well, how should a P. 2 man live now, that ha's no living; hum? why are there not a million

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of men in the world, that onely sojourne upon their braine, and make their wittes their Mercers; and I but one amongst that Million and cannot thrive upon't; any Trick out of the compasse of Lawe now, would come happily to me.

25

Enter Curtizan. Curtizan. My love. Witt-good. My lothing; hast thou beene the secret consumption of my purse? and now comst to undo my last meanes, my wits? wilt 30 leave no vertue in me and yet thou nere the better? Hence Curtizan, round webd Tarantula, That dryest the Roses in the cheekes of youth. Curtizan. I have beene true unto your pleasure, and all your lands Thrice rackt, was never worth the Jewell which 35 I prodigally gave you, my virginity; Lands morgag'd may returne and more esteemde, But honesty once pawnd, is nere redeemd. Witt-good. Forgive - I do thee wrong, To make thee sinne, and then to chid thee fort. 40 Curtizan. I know I am your loathing now, farewell. Witt-good. Stay best invention, - stay. Curtizan. I that have beene the secret consumption of your purse shall I stay now to undo your last meanes, your witts? hence Curtizan away. 45 Witt-good. I prethee, make me not mad at my owne weapon, P. 3 stay, (a thing few women can do I know that, and therefore they had need weare stayes;) be not contrary, dost loue me? Fate has so cast it that all my meanes I must Derive from thee. 50 Curtizan. From me! be happy then, What lies within the power of my performance, Shall be commanded of thee. Witt-good. Spoke like An honest drab ifaith, it may prove som-thing; What Trick is not an Embrion at first, Until a perfect shape come over it. 55

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Curtizan. Come I must helpe you, where abouts left you, lie proceed. Tho you beget, tis I must helpe to breed, Speake what ist, Ide faine conceave it. Witt-good. So, so, so, thou shall presently take the name and forme upon thee of a rich country widdow foure hundred a yeare valiant, in Woods, in Bullocks, in Barnes and in Rye-stacks, weele to London, and to my covetous Uncle. Courtizan. I begin to applaud thee, our States beeing both desperate, they are soone resolute, but how for horses? Witt-good. Masse that's true, the Jest will bee of some continuance, let mee see, Horses now, a bottes on em; Stay, I have acquaintance with a madde Hoste, never yet Bawde to thee, I have rinzde the whoresons gums in Mull-sack many a time and often, put but a good Tale into his eare now, so it come off cleanely, and there's Horse and man for us I dare warrant thee. Curtizan. Arme your wittes then speedily, there shall want nothing in mee, eyther in behaviour, discourse or fashion, that shall discredit your entended purpose. I will so art-fully disguise my wants, And set so good a courage on my state, That I will be beleeved. Witt-good. Why then all's furnisht; I shall goe nigh to catch that olde Foxe mine Uncle, tho hee make but some amends for my undooing, yet there's some comfort in't- -hee cannot otherwise choose (tho it bee but in hope to coozen mee agen) but supply any hastie want that I bring to towne with mee, the Device well and cunningly carryed, the name of a riche Widdow, and foure hundred a yeare in good earth, will so conjure up a kinde of Usurers love in him to mee, that hee will not onely desire my presence, which at first shall scarce bee granted him, lie keepe off a purpose, but I shall finde him so officious to deserve, so ready to supply, I know the state of an old mans affection so well, if his Nephew bee poore indeed, why hee letts God alone with him, but if hee be once rich, then heele bee the first man that helpes him.

60

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Curtizan. Tis right the world, for in these dayes an olde mans love to his kindred, is like his kindnesse to his 95 wife, 'tis alwayes done before hee comes at it. P. 5 Witt-good. I owe thee for that Jest, bee gone, here's all my wealth; prepare thy selfe, away? lie to mine Hoste with all possible hast, and with the best Art, & most profitable forme, powre the sweet circumstance into his eare, 100 which shall have the gift to turne all the waxe to hunny; [Enter Onesiphorus Hoord and two other gentlemen, Limber and Kixe.] how now; oh the right worshipful Seniors of our Country — [Exit Curtizan.] O. Hoord. Whose that? Limber. Oh the common Rioter, take no note of him. Witt-good. You will not see me now, the comfort is 105 Ere it be long you will scarce see your selves. [Exit.] O. Hoord. I wonder how hee breathes, ha's consum'd all Upon that Curtizan? Limber. We have heard so much. O. Hoord. You have heard all truth, his Uncle and my Brother, Have beene these three yeares mortall Adversaries. 110 Two old tough spirits, they seldome meete but fight, Or quarrell when tis calmest; I thinke their anger bee the very fire That keepes their age alive. Limber. What was the quarrell sir? 115 O. Hoord. Faith about a purchase, fetching over a young heire; Maister Hoord my brother having wasted much time in beating the bargayne, what did me old Lucre, but as his conscience mov'd him, knowing the poore Gentleman, stept in betweene e'm and couzned him himselfe. P. 6 Limber. And was this all sir? 121 Or Hoord. This was e'en it sir, yet for all this I know no reason but the match might go forward betwixt his wives Sonne and my Neece, what tho there bee a dissention betweene the two olde men, I see no reason it should put a 125 difference betweene the two yonger, tis as naturall for old folkes to fall out, as for yong to fall in? A scholler

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comes a wooing to my Neece, well, hee's wise, but he's poore, her Sonne comes a wooing to my Neece, well, hees a foole, but hees rich Limber. I marry sir? O. Hoord. Pray now is not a rich foole better then a poore Philosopher. Limber. One would think so yfaith? O. Hoord. She now remaines at London with my brother her second Uncle, to learne fashions, practise Musicke, the voyce betweene her lips, and the violl betweene her legges, shee'le bee fitt for a consort very speedily, a thousand good pound is her portion, if she marry, weele ride up and be merry, Kixe. A match, if it be a match? Exeunt. Enter at one doore, Witt-good, at the other Host.

1.2

Witt-good. Mine Host? Host. Young maister Witt-good. Witt-good. I have beene laying all the Towne for thee. Host. Why what's the newes Bully-Hadland? Witt-good. What Geldings are in the house of thine owne? answer me to that first. Host. Why man, why? Witt-good. Marke mee what I say, lie tell thee such a tale in thine eare, that thou shalt trust mee spite of thy teeth, furnish me with some money, wille, nille, and ride up with mee thy selfe Contra voluntatem et professionem. Host. How; let me see this trick, and lie say thou hast more Arte then a Conjurer. Witt-good. Doost thou joy in my advancement? Host. Do I love Sack and Ginger? Witt-good. Comes my prosperitie desiredly to thee? Host. Come forfeitures to a Usurer, fees to an officer, punkes to an Hoste, and Pigs to a Parson desiredly? why then la.

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Witt-good. Will the report of a Widdow of foure hundred a yeare boye, make thee leape, and sing, and dance, and come to thy place agen. Host. Wilt thou command me now? I am thy spirit, conjure me into any shape. Witt-good. I ha brought her from her friends, turnde backe the Horses by a slight, not so much as one amongst her sixe men, goodly large Yeomanly fellowes, will shee trust with this her purpose: by this light all unmand; regardlesse of her state, neglectfull of vaine-glorious ceremonie, all for my love; oh 'tis a fine little voluble toung mine Hoste, that wins a widdow. Host. No 'tis a toung with a great T my boye that winnes a widdow. Witt-good. Now sir, the case stands thus, good mine Host, if thou lov'st my happinesse assist me. Host. Command all my beasts ith house. Witt-good. Nay thats not all neither, prethee take truce with thy joy, and listen to mee, thou know'st I have a wealthy Uncle i'th Citty, some-what the wealthier by my follyes; the report of this fortune well and cunningly carried, might be a meanes to drawe some goodnesse from the Usuring Rascall, for I have put her in hope already of some estate that I have eyther in land or money: now if I be found true in neither, what may I expect but a suddaine breach of our love, utter dissolution of the match, and confusion of my fortunes for ever. Host. Wilt thou but trust the managing of thy businesse with me? Witt-good. With thee? why, will I desire to thrive in my purpose? will I hugge foure hundred a yeare? I that know the misery of nothing? will that man wish a riche widdow, that has nere a hole to put his head in? with thee mine Hoste, why beleeve it, sooner with thee then with a Covy of Counsellors? Host. Thanke you for your good report yfaith sir, and if I stand you not insteed, why then let an Hoste come off

20

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35

40

45

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Hie & haec hostis, a deadly enemie to Dice, Drinke, and P Venery; come where's this widdow? Witt-good. Hard at Parke-end. Host. lie be her Serving-man for once. Witt-good. Why there wee let off together, keepe full time, my thoughts were striking then just the same number. Host. I knew't, shall we then see our merry dayes agen? Witt-good. Our merry nights [Aside] which nere shall bee more seene. Exeunt. Enter at severall doores, old Lucre, and old Hoord, [Lamprey and 1.3 Spichcocke, two] Gentlemen comming betweene them, to pacifie 'em. [Master Monylove and Sam Freedome follow.] Lamprey. Nay good Maister Lucre, and you Maister Hoord, anger is the winde which you're both too much troubled withall. Hoord. Shall my adversary thus dayly afront mee, ripping up the old wound of our malice, which three Summers could not close up, into which wound the very sight of him, drops scalding Lead insteed of Balsamum. Lucre. Why Hoord, Hoord, Hoord, Hoord, Hoord; may I not passe in the state of quietnesse to mine owne house, answer mee to that, before witnesse, and why? lie referre the cause to honest even-minded Gentlemen, or require the meere indifferences of the Lawe, to decide this matter, I got the purchase, true; was't not any mans case? yes, will a wiseman stand as a Bawd, whilst another wipes his nose of the bargaine, no, I answer no in that case. P. Lamprey. Nay sweet Maister Lucre. Hoord. Was it the part of a friend: no, rather of a Jew, marke what I say, when I had beaten the bush to the last bird, or as I may terme it, the price to a pound, then like a cunning Usurer to come in the evening of the bargaine, and gleane all my hopes in a minute, to enter as it were at the back-doore of the purchase, for thou nere camst the right

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way by it. Lucre. Hast thou the conscience to tell mee so, without any impeachment to thy selfe? 25 Hoord. Thou that canst defeate thy owne Nephew, Lucre, lap his lands into bonds, and take the extremity of thy kindreds forfeitures, because hee's a rioter, a wast-thrift, a brothell-maister, and so forth what may a Stranger expect from thee, but Vulnera delacerata, as the Poet sayes, 30 delacerate dealing? Lucre. Upbraidst thou me with Nephew? is all imputation laid upon me? what acquaintance have I with his follyes, if hee riott, 'tis hee must want it, if hee surfet, 'tis hee must feele it: if he Drab it, 'tis he must lye by't, what's 35 this to me? Hoord. What's all to thee? nothing, nothing; such is the gulfe of thy desire, and the Wolfe of thy conscience, but be assured old Pecunius Lucre, if ever fortune so blesse me, that I may be at leisure to vexe thee, or any meanes so favour 40 me, that I may have oportunitie to mad thee, I will pursue it with that flame of hate, that spirit of malice, unrepressed P. 11 wrath, that I will blast thy comforts. Lucre, Ha, ha ha! Lamprey. Nay maister Hoord you're a wise Gentleman. 45 Hoord. I will so crosse thee! Lucre. And I thee. Hoord. So without mercy fret thee. Lucre. So monstrously oppose thee? Hoord. Doost scoffe at my just anger? oh that I had as 50 much power as usury ha's over thee? Lucre. Then thou wouldst have as much power as the devill ha's over thee. Hoord. Toade! Lucre, Aspick. 55 Hoord, Serpent. Lucre. Viper. Spichcocke. Nay Gentlemen, then we must divide you perforce. Lamprey. When the fire growes too unreasonable hotte, ther's

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no better way then to take of the wood. Exeunt.

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Manent Sam and Monylove. Sam. A word good Signior. Monylove. How now, what's the newes? Sam. 'Tis given mee to understand, that you are a rivall of mine in the love of Mistresse Joyce, maister Hoords Neece: say mee I, say me no. 65 Monylove. Yes, tis so. Sam. Then looke to your selfe, you cannot live long, P. 12 Ime practizing every morning, a moneth hence lie challenge you. Monylove. Give mee your hand upon't, there's my pledge 70 lie meete you? Strikes him. Exit. Sam. Oh, oh—what reason had you for that sir to strike before the month, you knew I was not ready for you, and that made you so cranck, I am not such a coward to strike agen I warrant you, my eare has the lawe of her side, for it burnes 75 horribly, I will teach him to strike a naked face, the longest day of his life, slid it shall cost me some money, but lie bring this boxe into the Chancery. Exit. Enter Witt-good and the Host.

1.4

Host. Feare you nothing sir, I have lodgd her in a house of credit I warrant you. Witt-good. Hast thou the writings? Host. Firme sir [Enter Dampit and Gulfe.] Witt-good. Prethee stay, and behold two the most prodigious rascals that ever slipt into the shape of men, Dampit sirrah, and young Gulfe, his fellow Cater-piller. Host. Dampit? sure I have heard of that Dampit. Witt-good. Heard of him? why man he that ha's lost both his eares, may heare of him, a famous infamous Trampler of time; his owne phraze: note him well, that Dampit sirrah.

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hee in the un-even Beard, and the Serge cloake, is the most notorious, usuring, blasphemous, Atheisticall, Brothell, vomiting rascall, that wee have in these latter times now extant, whose first beginning was the stealing of a mastie P. Dogge from a Farmers house. Host. Hee lookt as if hee would obay the commandement well, when he began first with stealing. Witt-good. True, the next Towne he came at, hee set the Dogs together by'th eares. Host. A signe he should follow the law by my faith. Witt-good. So it followed indeed, and beeing destitute of all fortunes, stakte his Mastie against a Noble, and by great fortune his Dogge had the day, how hee made it up ten shillings I know not, but his owne boast is, that hee came to towne but with ten shillings in his purse, and now is credibly worth tenne thousand pound? Host. How the devill came he by it? Witt-good. How the devill came he not by it, if you put in the devill once riches come with a vengeance, has beene a Trampler of the Law sir, and the devill has a care of his footemen, the Roague has spied me now, hee nibled me finely once too; a poxe search you, oh maister Dampit, the very Loynes of thee; crie you mercie maister Gulfe, you walke so lowe I promise you I sawe you not sir? Gulfe. Hee that walkes lowe walkes safe, the Poets tell us. Witt-good. [Aside] And nyer hell by a foote and a halfe then the rest of his fellowes but my old Harry. Dampit. My sweete Theodorus? Witt-good. Twas a merry world when thou cam'st to towne with ten shillings in thy purse. P. Dampit. And now worth ten thousand pound my Boye, report it, Harry Dampit, a trampler of time, say, hee would bee up in a morning, and be here with his Serge Gowne, dasht up to the hams in a cause, have his feet stincke about Westminster hall and come home agen, see the Galleouns, the Galleasses the great Armadoes of the Lawe, then there bee

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Hoyes and pettie vessells, Owers and Scullers of the time, there bee picklocks of the Time too, then would I bee here, 50 I would trample up and downe like a Mule; now to the Judges, may it please your reverend—honorable father-hoods: then to my Counsellor, may it please your worshipfull patience, then to the examiners Office, may it please your Maistershippes Gentlenesse, then to one of the Clarkes, may it please your 55 worshipfull Lowzinesse, for I finde him scrubbing in his codpeice, then to the hall agen, then to the Chamber agen Witt-good. And when to the seller agen? Dampit. E'en when thou wilt agen; Tramplers of time, Motions of Fleete-streete, and Visions of Holborne, here I 60 have fees of one, there I have fees of another, my clients come about me, the Fooli-aminy and Cocks-combri of the Country, I stil trasht and trotted for other mens causes, thus was poore Harry Dampit made rich by others lazinesse, who, tho they would not follow their owne Suites, I made 65 e'm follow mee with their purses. Witt-good. Did'st thou so old Harry? Dampit. I, and I souc'st e'm with bills of Charges ifayth, twentie pound a yeare have I brought in for boate-hire, and P. 15 I nere stept into boate in my life. 70 Witt-good. Tramplers of time. Dampit. I, Tramplers of time, Raskalls of time, Bulbeggars. Witt-good. Ah thou'rt a mad old Harrie? kinde Maister Gulfe, I am bould to renew my acquaintance. Gulfe. I embrace it sir. Exeunt. 75 Musick. Incipit ACT 2. Enter Lucre.

II. 1

Lucre. My Adversary evermore twittes mee with my Nephew, forsooth my Nephew: why may not a vertuous uncle have a dissolute Nephewe? what tho hee bee a Brotheller,

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a wast-thrift, a common Surfetter, and to conclude a beggar, must sinne in him, call up shame in mee: since 5 wee have no part in their follies, why should wee have part in their infamies? for my strickt hand toward his morgage, that I denie not, I confesse I had an Uncles penworth: let me see, halfe in halfe, true, I sawe neyther hope of his reclayming, nor comfort in his beeing, and 10 was it not then better bestow'd upon his Uncle, then upon one of his Aunts, I neede not say bawde, for every owne knowes what Aunt stands for in the last Translation, [Enter a servant.] now sir. 15 Servant 2. Ther's a Country Serving-man sir, attends to speake with your worship. Lucre. Ime at best leisure now, send him in to me. P 16 Enter Host like a Servingman. Host. Blesse your venerable worship. Lucre. Welcome good fellow. Host. [Aside] Hee calles me theefe at first sight, yet he little thinkes I am an Host? Lucre. What's thy busines with me? Host. Faith sir, I am sent from my Mistresse to any sufficient Gentleman indeed, to aske advise upon a doubtfull point, 'tis indifferent sir, to whome I come, for I know none, nor did my Mistres direct mee to any perticuler man, for shee's as meere a stranger here as my selfe, onely I found your worship within, and tis a thing I ever lov'd sir to be dispacht as soone as I can. Lucre. A good blunt honesty, I like him wel, what is thy Mistres? Host. Fayth a Cuntry Gentlewoman and a widdow sir, yesterday was the first flight of us, but now shee entends to stay till a little Tearme businesse be ended. Lucre. Her name I prethee? Host. It runnes there in the writings sir, among her Lands, widdow Medler?

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Lucre. Meddler? masse have I neere heard of that widdow? Host. Yes, I warrant you, have you sir, not the rich widdowe in Staffordsheere? 40 Lucre. Cuds me, there tis indeede, thou hast put me into memorie, there's a widdow indeed, ah that I were a batchiler agen. Host. No doubt your worship might do much then, but she's P. 17 fayrely promist to a bachiler already. 45 Lucre. Ah what is he I prethee? Host. A Country Gentleman, too, one whome your worship knowes not Ime sure: has spent some fewe follies in his youth, but marriage by my fayth begins to call him home, my Mistris loves him sir, and love covers faults you know, one 50 maister Wit-good if ever you have heard of the Gentleman. Lucre. Ha? Wit-good sayst thou? Host. Thats his name indeede sir; my Mistris is like to bring him to a goodly seate yonder, foure hundred a yeare by my faith. 55 Lucre. But I pray take me with you. Host. I sir? Lucre. What Countryman might this yong Wit-good be? Host. A Lestershire gentleman sir. Lucre. [Aside] My Nephew, by'th masse my Nephew, lie fetch out 60 more of this yfaith, a simple Country fellow, lie workte out of him and is that Gentleman sayst thou presently to marrie her? Host. Fayth he brought her up to towne sir, has the best card in all the bunch fort, her heart: and I know my 65 Mistris will bee married, ere she goe downe, nay He sweare that, for she's none of those widdowes that will goe downe first, and bee married after, she hates that I can tell you sir. Lucre. By my faith sir, shee is like to have a proper 70 Gentleman and a comelie, lie give her that gift? Host. Why do's your worship know him sir? P. 18 Lucre. I know him! dos not all the world knowe him, can a man of such exquisite qualities be hid under a bushell?

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Host. Then your worshippe may save mee a labour, for I 75 had charge given me to enquire after him. Lucre. Enquire of him? if I might counsell thee, thou shouldst nere trouble thy selfe furder, enquire of him of no more but of mee, lie fit thee? I grant he has beene youthfull, but is he not now reclaimde; marke you that 80 sir, has not your Mistris thinke you beene wanton in her youth? if men bee wagges, are there not women wagtayles? Host. No doubt sir. Lucre. Do's not he retume wisest, that comes home whipt with his owne follies. 85 Host, Why very true sir. Lucre. The worst report you can heare of him I can tell you is that hee has beene a kinde Gentleman, a liberal and a worthie, who but lustie Wit-good, thrice Noble Wit-good. Host. Since your worshippe has so much knowledge in him, 90 can you resolve me Sir what his living might bee, my duty bindes me sir to have a care of my mistris estate, she has beene ever a good mistris to me though I say it, many welthy Suiters has shee Nonsuted for his sake, yet tho her Love bee so fixt, a man cannot tell whether his Non95 performance may helpe to remove it sir; hee makes us beleeve hee has lands and living. Lucre. Who young maister Wit-good! why beleeve it he P. 19 has as goodly a fine living out yonder, what do you call the place? 100 Host. Nay I know not yfaith. Lucre. Hum, see like a Beast if I have not forgot the name, puh, and out yonder agen, goodly growen woods and faire meadowes, pax ont, I can nere hit of that place neither, hee; why hes Wit-good of Wit-good-Hall, hee, an unknowne 105 thing. Host. Is he so sir, to see how rumor will alter, trust me sir we heard once he had no lands, but all lay morgagde to an Uncle he has in towne here. Lucre. Push, tis a tale, tis a tale. 110 Host. I can assure you sir twas credibly reported to my Mistris.

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Lucre. Why doe you thinke ifaith hee was ever so simple to morgage his lands to his Uncle? or his uncle so unnaturall to take the extremity of such a morgage. 115 Host. That was my saying still sir. Lucre. Puh, nere thinke it. Host. Yet that report goes currant. Lucre. Nay then you urge me, Cannot I tell that best that am his Uncle? 120 Host. How sir! what have I donne. Lucre. Why how now in a Sowne, man. Host. Is your worship his Uncle sir. Lucre. Can that be any harme to you sir. Host. I do beseech you sir do me the favour to conceale P. 20 it, what a Beast was I to utter so much: pray sir doe mee 126 the kindnesse to keepe it in, I shall have my coate pull'd ore my eares, ant should bee knowne, for the truth is an't please your worshippe, to prevent much rumour and many suiters, they entend to bee married verie suddenly and privately. 130 Lucre. And do'st thou thinke it stands with my Judgement to doe them injury, must I needes say the knowledge of this marriage comes from thee? am I a foole at fifty foure? doe I lacke subteltie now that have got all my wealth by it? there's a leash of Angells for thee, come let mee wo thee, 135 speake where lie they? Host. So I might have no anger sir Lucre. Passion of me not a jot, prethe come. Host. I would not have it knowne it came by my meanes, Lucre. Why, am I a man of wisdome? 140 Host. I dare trust your worship sir, but I'me a stranger to your house, and to avoyde al Intelligencers I desire your worshippes eare. Lucre. This fellowe's worth a matter of trust come sir, why now thou'rt an honest lad: [Host whispers to him.] 145 ah sirrah Nephew? Host. Please you sir now I have begunne with your worship when shall I attend, for your advice upon that doubtfull poynt, I must come warily now.

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Lucre. Tut, feare thou nothing, to morrowes evening 150 shall resolve the doubt. Host. The time shall cause my attendance. Exit. P. 21 Lucre. Fare thee well: there's more true honesty in such a Cuntrie Servingman, then in a hundred of our cloake companions, I may well call e'm companions, for since blew 155 coates have beene turn'd into cloakes, wee can scarce knowe the man from Maister George [Enter servant.] George. Anon sir? Lucre. List hether, [Whispers.] keepe the place secret, commend mee to my Nephewe, I knowe no cause tell him but 160 hee might see his Uncle? George. I will sir. Lucre. And doe you heare sir, take heede you use him with respect and duty. George. [Aside] Here's a strange alteration, one day he must 165 be turned out like a Beggar, and now he must be cald in like a Knight! Exit. Lucre. Ah Sirrah, that rich widdow, 400. a yeare, beside I here she layes Clayme to a title of a hundred more, this falls unhappily that he should beare a Grudge to me now 170 being likely to prove so rich, what ist tro that hee makes me a Stranger for? hum, I hope he has not so much wit to apprehend that I cozned him, he deceaves me then? good heaven, who would have thought, it would ever have come to this passe, yet hee's a proper Gentleman ifaith, give 175 him his due marry thats his Morgage, but that I nere meane to give him, ile make him rich inough in words if that be good, and if it come to a peece of mony I will not greatly sticke fort, there may be hope some of the widdowes P. 22 lands too, may one day fall upon me [Enter George.] if 180 things be carried wisely: now sir, where is he? George. He desires your worship to hold him excusde, he has such weighty Busines it commands him wholy from all men. Lucre. Were those my Nephewes words? 185 George. Yes indeed sir.

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Lucre. When men grow rich they grow proud too, I perceive that, he would not have sent me such an answere once within this twelvemonth, see what tis when a mans come to his lands, returne to him agen sir, tell him his uncle 190 desires his company for an hower, lie trouble him but an hower say, tis for his owne good tell him, and do you heare sir, put worship upon him, go too, doe as I bid you, he's like to be a Gentleman of worship very shortly. George. This is good sport ifaith. Exit. 195 Lucre. Troth he uses his Uncle, discourteously now, can he tell what I may do for him, Goodnes may come from me in a minute that comes not in Seaven yeare agen, hee knowes my humour, I am not so usually good, tis no small thing that drawes kindnes from me, he may know that, and he will; 200 the cheife cause that invites me to do him most good, is the suddaine astonishing of ould Hoord my Adversary, how pale his malice will looke at my Nephews Advancement, with what a dejected Spirit hee will behold his Fortunes, whome but last day, hee proclaymde Riotter, Penurious Make-shift, P. 23 dispised Brothell Maister; ha, ha, twill doe me more secret 206 Joy then my last purchasse, more pretious comfort then all these widdowes Revennewes, [Enter George.] Now Sir, Enter Witt-good. George. With much entrety he's at length come sir. 210 [Exit George.] Lucre. Oh Nephew, let me salute you sir, your welcome Nephew. Witt-good. Uncle I thanke you. Lucre. Yave a fault Nephew, your a Stranger here, Well Heaven give you joy. Witt-good. Of what Sir? 215 Lucre. Hah, we can heare. You might have knowne your Uncles house ifaith, You and your widdow, go too, you were too blame; If I may tell you so without offence. Witt-good. How could you heare of that sir?

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Lucre. Oh pardon me, It was your will to have it kept from me I perceive now. Witt-good. Not for any defect of Loue I protest Uncle. Lucre. Oh twas Unkindnes Nephew, fie, fie, fie. Witt-good. I am sory you take it in that sense sir. Lucre. Puh, you cannot coulour it ifaith Nephew. Witt-good. Will you but heare what I can say in my just excuse sir. Lucre. Yes faith will I, and welcome. Witt-good. You that know my danger ith Citty sir so well, how great my debts are, and how extreame my Creditors, could not out of your pure judgment sir, have wisht us hether. Lucre. Masse a firme reason indeed. Witt-good. Else my Uncles house, why tad beene the onely make-Match.Lucre. Nay and thy credit. Witt-good. My credit? nay my countenance, push, nay I know uncle you would have wrought it so by your wit you would have made her beleeve in time the whole house had beene mine Lucre. I and most of the goods too Witt-good. La you there; wel, let e'm al prate what they will ther's nothing like the bringing of a widdow to ones Uncles house. Lucre. Nay let Nephewes be rulde as they list, they shall finde their Uncles house, the most naturall place when all's done. Witt-good. There they may be bold. Lucre. Life, they may do anything there man, and feare neither Beadle nor Somner, an Uncles house! a very coaleharbour? Sirra, lie touch thee neere now, hast thou so much interest in thy widdow, that by a token thou couldst presently send for her? Witt-good. Troth I thinke I can uncle. Lucre. Go too. let me see that? Witt-good. Pray command one of your men hether Uncle.

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Lucre. George? [Enter George.] George. Here sir. Lucre. Attend my Nephew? I love a life to prattle with a rich widdow, tis prety me thinkes when our tongues goe 260 togither, and then to promise much and performe little; I love that sport a life yfaith, yet I am in the moode now to do my Nephew some good, if he take me handsomely: what, have you dispacht? [Exit George.] Witt-good. I ha sent sir? 265 Lucre. Yet I must condemne you of unkindnesse Nephew. Witt-good. Heaven forbid Uncle? Lucre. Yes faith must I; say your debts bee many, your creditors importunate, yet the kindnesse of a thing is all Nephew, you might have sent me close word on't, without 270 the least danger, or prejudice to your fortunes. Witt-good. Troth I confesse it Uncle, I was too blame there, but indeed my intent was to have clapt it up suddainely, and so have broke forth like a joye to my friends, and a wonder to the world, beside there's a trifle of a forty 275 pound matter towarde the setting of mee forth, my friends should nere have knowne on't, I meant to make shift for that my selfe. Lucre. How Nephew? let me not heare such a word agen, I beseech you, shall I be beholding to you? 280 Witt-good. To me alasse, what do you meane Uncle? P. 26 Lucre. I charge you upon my love: you trouble no body 282 but my selfe. Witt-good. Y'ave no reason for that Uncle. Lucre. Troth lie nere bee friends with you while you 285 live and you doe. Witt-good. Nay and you say so Uncle, here's my hand, I will not doote Lucre. Why well sayde, there's some hope in thee when thou wilt bee rulde, ile make it up fifty fayth, because I 290 see thee so reclaimde; [Enter Ginnee and Sam.] peace, here comes my wife with Sam her tother husbands Sonne. Witt-good. Good Aunt

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Sam. Couzen Wit-good? I rejoyce in my salute, your most welcome to this Noble Citty govern'd with the sword 295 in the Scabbard. [Lucre whispers to his wife.] Witt-good. And the wit in the pommell, good Maister Sam Fredome I returne the salute. Lucre. By the masse she's comming wife, let mee see now how thou wilt entertaine her. 300 Wife. I hope I am not to learne sir, to entertaine a widdowe, tis not so long ago since I was one my selfe? [Enter Curtizan.] Witt-good. Uncle? Lucre. Shee's come indeed? Witt-good. My Uncle was desirous to see you widdow, 305 and I prasum'd to envite you. Curtizan. The praesumption was nothing Maister Wit-good, P. 27 is this your Uncle sir? Lucre. Marry am I sweete widdow, and his good Uncle he shal finde me, I by this smack that I give thee, thou'rt 310 welcome, wife, bid the widdow welcome the same way agen. Sam. [Aside] I am a Gentleman now too, by my fathers occupation, and I see no reason but I may kisse a widdowe by my Fathers Coppy, truely I thinke the Charter is not against it, surely these are the wordes, the Sonne once a Gentleman, may revell 315 it, tho his father were a dauber, tis about the 15. page, ile to her [Curtizan turns her back on him.] Lucre. Y'are not very busie now, a worde with thee sweete widdow Sam. Coades-Nigs, I was never so disgrac'st, since the 320 houre my mother whipt me. Lucre. Beside, I have no childe of mine owne to care for, shee's my second wife, old, past bearing, clap sure to him widdow, he's like to be my heire I can tell you? Curtizan. Is he so sir? 325 Lucre. Hee knowes it already and the knaves proud on't, jolly rich widdowes have beene offerd him here ith Citty, great marchants wives, and do you thinke he would once looke upon e'm? forsooth heele none, you are beholding to

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him ith Country then, ere we could be; nay, ile hold a wager 330 widdow if hee were once knowne to bee in towne, hee would bee presently sought after, nay and happie were they, that could catch him first. Curtizan. I thinke so? P. 28 Lucre. Oh, there would be such running to and fro 335 widdow, hee should not passe the streetes for e'm : he'ed bee tooke up in one great house or other presently, fah, they know he has it & must have it; you see this house here widdowe, this house and all comes to him, goodly Roomes ready furnisht, seeld with plaster of paris, and all hung above 340 with cloth of arras. Nephew! Witt-good. Sir Lucre. Shew the widdowe your house, carry her into all the Roomes, and bid her welcome, you shall see widdow Nephew? strike all sure above and thou bee'st a good boye 345 ah Witt-good. Alasse sir, I know not now shee would take it. Lucre. The right way I warrant tee, a poxe, art an asse, would I were in thy stead, get you up, I am ashamde 350 of you, [Exeunt Witt-good and Curtizan.] so : let e'm agree as they wil now? many a match has beene struck up in my house a this fashion, let e'm try all manner of waies still there's nothing like an Uncles house to strike the stroake in, lie hold my wife in talke a little, now Ginnee; your 355 sonne there goes a wooing to a poore Gentlewoman but of a 1000. portion, see my Nephew, a lad of lesse hope, strikes at foure hundred a yeare in good Rubbish. Wife. Well we must do as we may sir. Lucre. Ile have his money ready told for him, againe P. 29 hee come downe, let mee see too, by'th masse I must present 361 the widdowe with some Jewell, a good peece a plate or such a device, twill harten her on wel, I have a very faire standing cup, and a good hie standing cup wil please a widow above al other peices. Exit. 365 Wife. Do you mock us with your Nephew, I have a plot

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in my head sonne, ifaith husband to crosse you. Sam. Is it a tragedy plot, or a comedy plot, good mother. Wife. Tis a plot shall vexe him, I charge you of my blessing Sonne Sam, that you presently withdrawe the Action 370 of your love from Maister Hoords Neece. Sam. How mother. Wife. Nay I have a plot in my head ifaith, here take this chain of gold and this faire diamond, dogge me the widdow home to her lodging, and at thy best opportunity 375 fasten e'm both upon her nay I have a Reach, I can tell you thou art knowne what thou art sonne among the right worshipfull; all the twelve companyes. Sam. Truely I thanke 'em for it. Wife. Ha, he's a scab to thee, and so certifie her, thou 380 hast two hundred a yeare of thy selfe, beside thy good p a r t s - — a proper person and a lovely, if I were a widdow I could find in my heart to have thee my selfe, sonne, I, from em all. Sam. Thanke you for your good will mother, but in deed 385 I had rather have a Stranger: and if I wo her not in that Violent fashion, that I will make her bee glad to take these gifts ere I leave her, let me never be called the heire of P. 30 your body. Wife. Nay I know theres enough in you sonne if you once come to put it forth. 390 Sam. lie quickly make a Bolt, or a shaft ont. Exeunt. Enter Hoord and Monylove.

II.2

Monylove. Faith Maister Hoord, I have bestowde many months in the Suite of your Neece, such was the deere love I ever bore to her vertues, but since she hath so extreamely denied me, I am to lay out for my fortunes else where. Hoord. Heaven forbid but you should sir, I ever told you my Neece stood otherwise affected. Monylove. I must confesse you did sir, yet in regard of my great losse of time, and the zeale with which I sought your Neece, shall I desire one favour of your worship.

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Hoord. In regard of those two tis hard but you shall 10 sir. Monylove. I shall rest gratefull, tis not full 3. houres sir, since the happy rumour of a rich Country widdow came to my hearing. Hoord. How a rich Country widdow? 15 Monylove. Foure hundred a yeare landed. Hoord. Yea? Monylove. Most firme sir, and I have learnt her lodging, here my suite begins sir, if I might but entreate your worship to bee a countenance for mee, and speake a good 20 word: for your words will passe, I nothing doubt, but I might set faire for the widdowe, nor shall your labour sir P. 31 end altogither in thankes, two hundred Angells Hoord. So, so, what suiters has shee? Monylove. There lies the comfort sir, the report of 25 her is yet but a whisper, and onely sollicited by young Riotous Wit-good, Nephew to your mortall adversary. Hoord. Ha? art certaine he's her suiter? Monylove. Most certaine sir, and his Uncle very industrious to beguile the widdow, and make up the match! 30 Hoord. So? very good? Monylove. Now sir you know this yong Wit-good is a spendthrift—dissolute fellow. Hoord. A very Raskall. Monylove. A mid-night surfetter. 35 Hoord. The spume of a Brothel-house. Monylove. True sir? which beeing well told in your worshippes phraze, may both heave him out of her minde, and drive a faire way for me to the widdowes affections. Hoord. Attend me about 5. 40 Monylove. With my best care sir. Exit. Hoord. Foole thou hast left thy treasure with a theefe, To trust a widdower with a suite in love, Happy revenge I hug thee, I have not onely the meanes layde 45 before me, extreamely to crosse my adversary, and confound the last hopes of his Nephew, but therby to enrich my state;

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augment my revennewes, and build mine owne fortunes greater, ha, ha. P. 32 Ile marre your phraze, ore-turne your flatteries, 50 Undo your windings, policies, and plots, Fall like a secret and dispatchfull plauge On your secured comforts, why I am able To buy 3. of Lucer, thrice out-bid him, Let my out-monies be reckond and all. Enter three Creditors [the third named Cock-pit]. 55 1. I am glad of this newes. Cock-pit. So are we by my faith. 2. Yong Wit-good will be a gallant agen now. Hoord. [Aside] Peace? 1. I promise you Maister Cock-pit she's a mighty rich widdow. 60 Cock-pit. Why have you ever heard of her. 1. Who widdow Medler, shee lies open to much rumour. 2. Foure hundred a yeare they say in very good land, 1. Nay tak't of my word if you beleeve that, you beleeve the least. 65 Cock-pit. And to see how closse hee keepes it. 1. Oh sir there's policy in that to prevent better suiters. 2. Hee owes me a hundred pound, and I protest I neere lookte for a pennie. 70 1. He little dreames of our comming, heele wonder to see his creditors upon him. Exeunt. Hoord. Good, his creditors, ile follow, this makes for mee, All know the widdowes wealth & tis well knowne, P. 33 I can estate her fairely, I and will. 76 In this one chance shines a twice happy Fate, I both deject my foe, and raise my state. Exit. Musick.

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Incipit ACT. 3. Witt-good with [Cock-pit and his two other] Creditors.

III.l

Witt-good. Why alasse, my Creditors? could you finde no other time to undo mee but now, rather your malice appeares in this then the justnesse of the debt. 1. Maister Wit-good I have forborne my money long. Witt-good. I pray speake lowe sir, what do you meane? 5 2. We heare you are to be married suddainely to a rich Country widdow? Witt-good. What can bee kept so closse but you creditors here on't, wel, tis a lamentable state, that our cheifest afflicters should first heare of our fortunes, why this is 10 no good course yfaith sirs, if ever you have hope to bee satisfied, why doe you seeke to confound the meanes that should worke it, there's neither piety, no nor policy in that, shine favorably now, why I may rize and spred agen, to your great comforts. 15 1. He saies true yfaith. Witt-good. Remove me now, and I consume for ever. 2. Sweete Gentleman? Witt-good. How can it thrive which from the Sun you sever. 20 Cockpit. It cannot indeed? P. 34 Witt-good. Oh then show patience, I shall have ynough to satisfie you all. 1. I, if we could be content a shame take vs. Witt-good. For looke you, I am but newly sure yet to 25 the widdow, & what a Rend might this discredit make: within these 3. daies will I binde you lands for your securities. 1. No, good Maister Witt-good, Would twere as much as we dare trust you with? Witt-good. I am to raise a little money in the Citty, 30 toward the setting forth of my selfe, for mine owne credit, and your comfort, now if my former debts should be divulg'd, all hope of my proceedings were quite extinguisht!

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1. [Aside to Witt-good.] Do you heare sir, I may deserve your custome 35 heereafter, pray let my money be accepted before a strangers, here's fortie pound I receiv'd as I came to you, if that may stand you in any stead, make use on't, may pray sir, tis at your service Witt-good. You doe so ravish mee with kindnesse, that I'me constrainde, to play the maide and take it? 40 1. Let none of them see it I beseech you. Witt-good. Fah 1. I hope I shall be first in your remembrance after the marriage rites. Witt-good. Beleeve it firmely. 45 1. So, what, do you walke sirs? 2. I goe take no care sir for money to furnish you, within this houre ile send you sufficient come Maister Cock-pit wee both stay for you. Cock-pit. I ha lost a ring ifaith, ile followe you P. 35 presently [Exeunt 1. and 2.] but you shall finde it sir, I know your 51 youth and expences have disfurnisht you of all Jewells, ther's a Ruby of twenty pound price sir, bestowe it upon your widdow, what man, twill call up her bloud to you, beside if I might so much worke with you, I would not have you beholding to 55 those bloud-suckers for any money. Witt-good. Not I beleeve it. Cock-pit. The'ar a brace of cut-throates? Witt-good. I know e'm. Cock-pit. Send a note of all your wants to my shoppe 60 and ile suply you instantly. Witt-good. Say you so, why here's my hand then, no man living shal do't but thy selfe. Cock-pit. Shal I carry it away from e'm both then? 65 Witt-good. I faith shalt thou? Cock-pit. Troth then I thanke you sir. Witt-good. Welcome good maister Cock-pit! Exit [Cock-pit], ha, ha, ha? why is not this better now, then lying a bed,

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I perceive there's nothing conjures up wit sooner then poverty, and nothing laies it downe sooner then wealth and lecherie? this has some savour yet, oh that I had the morgage from mine Uncle as sure in possession as these trifles, I would forsweare Brothel at noone day, and Muscadine and eggs at midnight. Enter Curtizan. Curtizan. Maister Wit-good? where are you? Witt-good. Holla! Curtizan. Rich Newes! Witt-good. Would twere all in Plate. Curtizan. There's some in chaines and Jewells, I am so haunted with shuters Maister Witt-good, I know not which to dispatch first. Witt-good. You have the better tearme by my faith. Curtizan. Among the number, One Maister Hoord an Antient Gentleman. Witt-good. Upon my life my Uncles adversary. Curtizan. It may well hold so, for he rayles on you, Speakes shamefully of him. Witt-good. As I could wish it. Curtizan. I first denyed him, but so cunningly, It rather promisde him assured hopes, Then any losse of labour. Witt-good. Excellent. Curtizan. I expect him every hower, with Gentlemen, With whome he labours to make good his words, To approve you Riotous, your state consumde, Your Uncle, Witt-good. Wench, make up thy owne fortunes now, do thy selfe a good turne once in thy Dayes, hees rich in money, moveables, and lands, marry him, he's an old doting foole, and thats worth all, marry him, twould bee a great comfort to me to see thee do well ifaith, marry him, twould ease my conscience well to see thee well bestowd, la have a care of thee ifaith.

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Curtizan. Thankes sweete maister Witt-good. P. 37 Witt-good. I reach at farder happines; first I am sure it can be no harme to thee, and there may happen goodnes to me by it, prosecute it well, lets send up for our witts, 105 now we require their best and most pregnant Assistance! Curtizan. Step in, I thinke I heare e'm. Exeunt. Enter Hoord and Gentlemen with the Host [as] servingman. Hoord. Art thou the widdowes man, by my faith sh'as a company of proper men then. Host. I am the worst of sixe sir, good inough for 110 blew-coates. Hoord. Harke hether, I heare say thou art in most credit with her. Host. Not so sir. Hoord. Come, come, thou'rt modest, theres a Brace of 115 royalls, prethee helpe me to'th speech of her. Host. lie do what I may sir alwayes saving my selfe harmelesse. Hoord. Go too do't I say, thou shalt heare better from me. 120 Host. [Aside] Is not this a better place then 5. Marke a yeare standing wages; say a man had but 3. such cleints in a day, me thinkes he might make a poore living ont, beside I was never brought up with little honesty, to refuse any mans mony never; what guiles there are a this side the world, now 125 knowe I the widdowes minde, none but my yong master comes P. 38 in her clutches, ha, ha, ha. Exit. Hoord. Now my deere Gentlemen stand firmely to me, You know his follyes, and my worth. 1. Wee doo sir. 2. But Maister Hoord, are you sure he is not ith house now? 130 Hoord. Upon my honesty, I chose this time, A purpose, fit, the spend-thrift is abroad,

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Assist me: here she comes. [Enter Curtizan.] Now my sweete widdow. Curtizan. Y'are wellcome Maister Hoord. 135 Hoord. Dispatch, sweet Gentlemen, dispatch; I am come widdow, to prove those my words, Neither of envy Sprung nor of false tongs, But such as their desarts and Actions, Doe merit and bring forth, all which these Gentlemen Well knowne and better reputted will confesse. 140 Curtizan. I cannot tell, How my affections may dispose of me, But surely if they find him so desartlesse, Theyle have that reason to with-draw them-selves. And therefore Gentlemen I doe entreat you, 145 As you are faire in Reputation, And in appearing forme so shine in truth; I am a widdow and alasse you knowe, Soone overthrowen, tis a very small thing, That we with-stand, our weakenes is so great, P. 39 Be partiall unto neither, but deliver, 151 Without affection your opinion. Hoord. And that will drive it home. Curtizan. Nay I beseech your silence Maister Hoord, You are a party. Hoord. Widdow? not a word! 155 7. The better first to worke you to beleife, Know neither of us owe him flattery, Nor tother malice, but unbribed censure, So helpe us our best fortunes. Curtizan. It sufBzes? 1. That Witt-good is a riotous undon man, 160 Imperfect both in fame and in estate: [Witt-good peeps out.] His debts welthier then he, and executions In waite for his due body, we'ele maintayne With our best credit, and our deerest bloud. Curtizan. Nor land, nor living say you, pray take heede 165 You do not wrong the Gentleman?

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1. What we speake, Our lives and meanes are ready to make good. Curtizan. Alasse, how soone are wee poore soules beguild! 2. And for his Uncle. Hoord. Let that come to me, His Uncle a severe extortioner, 170 A Tyrant at a forfeiture, greedy Of others miseries, one that would undo his brother; Nay swallowe up his father, if he can P. 40 Within the fadomes of his conscience. 1. Nay beleeve it widdow, 175 You had not onely matcht your selfe to wants, But in an evill and unnaturall stocke. Hoord. Follow hard, Gentlemen, follow hard? Curtizan. Is my love so deceav'd, before you all I do renounce him, on my knees I vow 180 He nere shall marry mee, Witt-good. [Aside] Heaven knowes hee never meant it? Hoord. There, take her at the bound, [She rises.] 1. Then with a new and pure affection, Behold yon Gentleman, grave, kinde and rich: 185 A match worthy your selfe, esteeming him, You do regard your state. Hoord. lie make her a joynture say. 1. Hee can joyne land to land, and will possesse you Of what you can desire. Come widdow come. 2. Curtizan. The world is so deceitfull? 1. There tis deceitfull, 190 Where flattery, want, and imperfection lies: But none of these in him? push Curtizan. Pray sir. 1. Come you widdowes are ever most back-ward, when you should doe your selves most good, but were it to marry a chin not worth a haire now, then you would bee forward ynough? 195 come, clap hands, a match. [She takes Hoord's hand.] Hoord. With all my heart widdow, thankes Gentlemen, P. 41

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I will deserve your labour, and thy love. Curtizan. Alasse, you love not widdowes but for wealth, I promise you I ha nothing sir. Hoord. Well said, 200 Widdowe, well said, thy Love is all I seeke, Before these Gentlemen. Curtizan. Now I must hope the best. Hoord. My joyes are such they want to be exprest. Curtizan. But Maister Hoord. one thing I must remember you of before these gentlemen your friends, how shall I 205 suddainly avoyde the loathed Solleciting of that perjurd Witt-good, and his Tedious-dissembling Uncle, who this very day hath appointed a meeting for the same purpose too, where had not truth come forth I had beene undon, utterly undon. Hoord. What thinke you of that Gentlemen. 210 1. Twas well devized. Hoord. Harke thee widdow, trayne out yong Witt-good single, hasten him thether with thee, somewhat before the hower where at the place appointed these Gentlemen and my selfe wil waite the opportunity, when by some slieght 215 removing him from thee we'le suddenly enter and surprise thee, carry thee away by boate to Coale-harbour, have a Priest ready and there Clap it up instantly, how lik'st it widdow? Curtizan. In that it pleaseth you, it likes me well. 220 Hoord. lie kisse thee for those words [Kisses her.], come Gentle- P. 42 men, Still must I live a Suiter to your favours, Still to your aide beholding. 1. We're engagde sir. Tis for our credits now to see't well ended. Hoord. Tis for your honors Gentlemen; nay looke toote, 225 Not onely in joy, but I in wealth excell, No more sweet widdow, but sweete wife, farwell. Curtizan. Farwell sir. Exeunt [Hoord and Gentlemen]. Enter Witt-good. Witt-good. Oh for more scope, I could laugh eternally.

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Give you joye Mistres Hoord, I promise your fortune was good 230 forsooth, y'ave fell upon wealth ynough, and there's young Gentlemen enow can helpe you to the rest; now it requires our wits: carry thy selfe but heedfully now, and wee are both Enter Host. Host. Maister Witt-good your Uncle 235 Witt-good, Cuds me, remove thy selfe a while, ile serve for him? [Exeunt] Curtizan [and Host], Enter Lucre. Lucre. Nephew, good morrow, Nephew? Witt-good. The same to you kinde Uncle. Lucre. How fares the widdow, do's the meeting hold? 240 Witt-good. Oh no question of that sir? Lucre. Ile strike the stroake then for thee, no more daies. Witt-good. The sooner the better Uncle, oh shee's mightily followed, 245 Lucre. And yet so little rumourd. P. 43 Witt-good. Mightily? here comes one old Gentleman, and heele make her a joynture of three hundred a yeare forsooth, another welthy suiter wil estate his sonne in his life time, and make him weigh downe the widdow, here a 250 Merchants sonne wil possesse her with no lesse then three goodly Lordships at once, which were all pawnes to his Father. Lucre. Peace Nephew let mee heare no more of e'm, it mads mee, thou shalt prevent e'm all, no words to the 255 widdow of my comming hether, let mee see, tis now upon nine, before twelve, Nephew we will have the bargaine struck, wee will ifaith boye. Witt-good. Oh my pretious Uncle. Exeunt. [Enter] Hoord and his Neece. Hoo. Neece, sweete Neece, prethee have a care to my house, I leave al to thy discretion, be content to dreame a while, ile have a husband for thee shortly, put that care upon me wench, for in choosing wives and husbands I am

III.2.

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onely fortunate, I have that gift given me. Exit. 5 Neece. But tis not likely you should chuse for me, Since Nephew to your cheifest enimy Is he whome I affect, but oh forgetfull, Why dost thou flatter thy affections so: With name of him, that for a widdowes bed, 10 Neglects thy purer love, can it be so? [Enter George.] Or do's report dissemble: how now sir? George. A letter with which came a private charge. P. 44 Neece. Therein I thanke your care [Exit George.] 1 knowe this hand, [she reads.] Deerer then sight, what the world reports of me yet 15 beleeve not, rumour will alter shortly, be thou constant, I am still the same that I was in love, and I hope to be the same in fortunes. Theodorus Witt-good. I am resolvde, no more shall feare or doubt, 20 Raise their pale powers to keepe affection out. Exit. Enter with a Drawer, Hoord, and two Gentlemen.

III.3.

Drawer. You're very welcome Gentlemen, Dick showe those Gentlemen the Pomgranite there, Hoord. Hist Drawer. Up those staires Gentlemen. Hoord. Pist Drawer, Drawer. Anon sir? Hoord. Prethe aske at the Bar, if a gentlewoman came not in lately? Drawer. William at the Bar did you see any Gentlewoman come in lately, speake you I, speake you no. Within. No, none came in yet but mistres Florence. Drawer. Hee saies none came in yet sir, but one Mistres Florence. Hoord. What is that Florence? a widdow! Drawer. Yes a duch widdow. Hoord. How?

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Drawer. Thats an English drab sir, give your worship good morrow. Hoord. A merry knave ifaith, I shall remember a dutch widdow the longest day of my life. 1. Did not I use most art to win the widdow. 2. You shall pardon mee for that sir, Maister Hoord knowes I tooke her at best vantage. Hoord. What's that sweete Gentleman, what's that? 2. He will needs beare me downe that his art onely, wrought with the widdow most. Hoord. Oh you did both well Gentlemen, you did both well, I thanke you. 1. I was the first that mov'd her. Hoord. You were ifaith. 2. But it was I that tooke her at the bound. Hoord. I, that was you, faith Gentlemen, tis right. [1]. I boasted least, but twas I joynd their hands. Hoord. By'th masse I thinke hee did, you did all well Gentlemen, you did al wel, contend no more. 1. Come, yon roomes fittest. Hoord.

True tis next the doore?

[Exeunt].

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Enter Witt-good, Curtizan, and Host, [with Drawer]. Drawer. Your verie welcome, please you to walke up staires cloths layde sir. Curtizan. Up staires! troth I am weary Maister Wit-good. Witt-good. Rest your selfe here a while widdowe, wee'le have a cup of Muscadine in this little Roome. Drawer. A cup of Muscadine, you shall have the best sir. Witt-good. But you do heare sirrah. Drawer. Do you call, anon sir. Witt-good. What is there provided for dinner? Drawer. I cannot readily tell you sir, if you please, you may goe into the kitchin and see your selfe sir, many Gentlemen of worship do use to do it, I assure you sir? Host. A prety familiar Priggin raskall, hee has his part without booke?

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Witt-good. Against you are ready to drinck to mee, widdow, ile bee present to pledge you. Curtizan. Nay I commend your care, tis donne well of you? [Exit Witt-good.] Lasse what have I forgot. Host. What Mistres? Curtizan. I slipt my wedding Ring off when I washt, and left it at my lodging, prethee run, I shall be sad without it, [Exit Host.] so, hee's gon! boye? Boy. Anon forsooth? Curtizan. Come hether sirrah, learne secretly if one Maister Hoord an antient Gentleman be about house? Boy. I heard such a one nam'd. Curtizan. Commend me to him. Enter Hoord with Gentlemen. Hoord. I, boy, do thy commendations? Curtizan. Oh you come well: away, to boate, be gon. Hoord. Thus wisemen are reveng'd, give two for one.

Exeunt.

Enter Witt-good and Vintner. Witt-good. I must request You sir, to show extraordinary care, My Uncle comes with Gentlemen his friends, And tis upon a making? Vintner. Is it so? Ile give a spetiall charge good Maister Witt-good, May I be bold to see her? Witt-good. Who the widdow? With all my heart ifayth, ile bring you to her? [Goes to the little room.] Vintner. If shee bee a Staffordsheere Gentlewoman, tis much if I know her not, Witt-good. How now, boy, drawer. Vintner. Hie? Boy. Do you call sir?

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Witt-good. Went the Gentlewoman up that was here? Boy. Up sir? she went out sir. Witt-good. Out sir? 80 Boy. Out sir: one Maister Hoord with a guard of Gentlemen carried her out at backdoore, a pretie while since sir. Witt-good. Hoord, death and darknesse, Hoord. Enter Host. Host. The devill of ring I can finde? Witt-good. How now, what newes, where's the widdow? 85 Host. My Mistris? is she not here sir? Witt-good. More madnes yet. Host. Shee sent me for a Ring. Witt-good. A plot, a plot: to Boate shee's stole away. Host. What? Enter Lucre with Gentlemen. P. 48 Witt-good. Follow, enquire, old Hoord my Uncles 91 Adversary [Exit Host.] Lucre. Nephew, what's that? Witt-good. Thrice miserable wretch. Lucre. Why what's the matter? Vintner. The widdow's borne away sir? Lucre. Ha, passion of me, a heavy welcome Gentlemen. 1. The widdow gon? Lucre. Who durst attempt it? 95 Witt-good. Who but old Hoord, my Uncles adversary? Lucre. How? Witt-good. With his confederates. Lucre. Hoord, my deadly enimy, Gentlemen stand to me, I will not beare it, 'tis in hate of me, That villaine seekes my shame, nay thirsts my bloud, 100 Hee owes me mortall malice, lie spend my wealth on this despitefull plot, Ere he shall crosse me and my Nephew thus. Witt-good. So malitiouslie. Enter Host. Lucre. How now you treacherous Rascall? Host. That's none of my name sir. 105 Witt-good. Poore soule he knew not on't. Lucre, lme sorry, I see then 'twas a meere plot. Host. I trac'de e'm neerely.

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Lucre. Well. Host. And heare for certaine, They have tooke Cole-harbor. Lucre. The Divils Sanctuary, P. 49 They shall not rest, lie pluck her from his armes, 110 Kind & deere Gentlemen, If ever I had seat within your brests 7. No more good sir, it is a wrong to us, To see you injur'd in a cause so just: Weele spend our lives, but we will right our friends. 115 Lucre. Honest, and kind, come, we have delayd to long, Nephew take comfort; a just cause is strong. Exeunt [Witt-good last]. Witt-good. Thats all my comfort Uncle, [Aside] ha, ha, ha. Now may events fall luckily, and well, He that nere strives, sayes wit shall nere excell. Exit. 120 Enter Dampit, the Usurer drunke.

III.4.

Dampit. When did I say my prayers? In Anno 88. when the great Armado was comming, and In Anno 99. when the great Thundring and Lighting was I prayd heartily then ifaith, to overthrow Poovyes new buildings, I kneeld by my great iron chest I remember. [Enter Audry at another door.] Audry. Maister Dampit, one may heare you, before they see you, you keepe sweet howers Maister Dampit, we were all a bed 3 howers agoe. Dampit. Audry. Audry. Oh yare a fine Gentleman. Dampit. So I am ifaith, and a fine Scholler, do you use to goe to bed, so earely Audry? Audry. Call you this earely Maister Dampit. Dampit. Why ist not one of Clocke ith morning, is not that earely inough? fetch me a glasse of fresh-Beere. Audry. Here, I have warmd your Nightcap for you Maister P. Dampit. Dampit. Draw it on then 1 am very weake truely, I

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have not eaten so much as the bulke of an Egge these 3. dayes. Audry. You have drunke the more Maister Dampit. Dampit. Whats that? Audry. You mought, and you would Maister Dampit. Dampit. I answer you I cannot, hold your prating, you prat too much, and understand too little, are you answered, give me a glasse of beare. Audry. May I aske you how you doe Maister Dampit? Dampit. How do I? ifaith naught. Audry. I nere knew you do otherwise. Dampit. I eate not one pennort of bread these 2. yeares, give me a glasse of fresh beere, 1 am not sicke, nor I am not well, Audry. Take the warme Napken about your necke sir, whilst I helpe to make you unready. Dampit. How now Audrie-prater, with your skirvy devices, what say you now? Audry. What say I Maister Dampit? I say nothing but that you are very weake. Dampit. Faith thou hast more cunnycatching devices then all London? Audry. Why Maister Dampit I never decei'vd you in al my life? Dampit. Why was that? because I never did trust thee. Audry. I care not what you say Maister Dampit? Dampit. Hold thy prating, I answere thee, thou art a beggar, a queane, and a bawde: are you answered. Audry. Fie Maister Dampit, a Gentleman and have such words. Dampit. Why thou base drudge of infortunity, thou kitchin-stuffe drab of Beggery, Roguery & cockscombry, thou Caverne-fed queane of foolery, knavery and baudreaminy, ile tell thee what, I will not give a lowse for thy fortunes. Audry. No, maister Dampit, and there's a Gentleman comes a wooing to me, and he doubts nothing but that you will get mee from him. Dampit. I, if I would either have thee or lie with thee

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for two thousand pound, would I might bee dambd, why thou base impudent queane of foolery, flattery, and cockscombry, are you answerd? Audry, Come will you rise and goe to bed sir? Dampit. Rise, and go to bed too Audry? how do's Mistres Proserpine? Audry. Fooh Dampit. She's as fine a Philosipher of a stinkards wife, as any within the liberties, fah, fah Audry! Audry. How now Maister Dampit? Dampit. Fie upon't, what a choise of stinckes here is, what hast thou don Audry fie uppon't, here's a choise of stinckes indeed; give me a glasse of fresh Beere, and then I wil to bed. Audry. It waites for you above sir? P. Dampit. Foh, I thinke they burne homes in Barnards Inne, if ever I smelt such an abhominable stinck, usury forsake me. Audry. [Aside] They be the stincking nailes of his trampling feete, and he talkes of burning of homes. Ex[euri\t.

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Incipit ACT. 4. Enter at Cole-harbour, Hoord, the Widdow [Lamprey, Spichcocke] and Gentlemen, he married now. 1. Joyne hearts, joyne hands, In wedlocks bands, Never to part, Till death cleave your heart, You shall forsake all other women, You Lords, Knights, Gentlemen, and Yeomen. What my tongue slips, Make up with your lips. Hoord. Give you joy Mistresse Hoord, let the kisse come about, [Knocking within.] Who knocks? convay my little Pig-eater out. Lucre. [Within.] Hoord? Hoord. Upon my life, my adversary, Gentlemen.

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Lucre. Hoord, open the doore, or we will force it ope, Give us the widdow. Hoord. Gentlemen keepe'm out. Lamprey. Hee comes upon his death that enters here. 15 Lucre. My friends assist me. Hoord. Hee has assistants, Gentlemen. Lamprey. Tut, nor him, nor them, we in this action feare. P. 53 Lucre. Shall I in peace, speake one word with the widow? Curtizan. Husband and Gentlemen, heare me but a word. Hoord. Freely sweete wife. Curtizan. Let him in peaceably, 20 You know we're sure, from any act of his. Hoord. Most true. [Curtizan.] You may stand by and smile at his old weaknesse, Let mee alone to answere him. Hoord. Content, Twill be good mirth ifaith, how thinke you Gentlemen? 25 Lamprey. Good gullery? Hoord. Upon calme conditions let him in. Lucre. All spite and malice Lamprey. Heare me Maister Lucre. So you will vow a peacefull entrance With those your friends and onely exercize Calme conference with the widdow, without fury, 30 The passage shall receive you. Lucre. I do vow it. Enter Lucre [and friends]. Lamprey. Then enter and talke freely, here she stands. Lucre. Oh Maister Hoord, your spite has wacht the houre, Your excellent at vengeance Maister Hoord. Hoord. Ha, ha, ha. Lucre. I am the foole you laugh at, P. 54 You are wise sir and knowe the seasons, well, 36 Come hether widdow, why is it thus! Oh, you have done me infinite disgrace, And your owne credit no small Injury, Suffer mine enimy so dispitefully 40 To beare you from my Nephewe, Oh,

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I had rather halfe my substance had beene forfet, And begd by some starv'd Raskall. Curtizan. Why what would you wish me do sir? I must not overthrow my state for love, We have too many presidents for that, From thousands of our welthie undon widdowes One may derive some wit; I do confesse, I lov'd your Nephew, nay I did affect him, Against the minde and liking of my friend: Beleev'd his promises, lay here in hope, Of flatterd living, and the boast of lands: Comming to touch his wealth and state indeed, It appeares drosse, I finde him not the man, Imperfect, meane, scarce furnisht of his needes: In words, faire Lordships, in performance Hovills, Can any woman love the thing that is not? Lucre. Broke you for this? Curtizan. Was it not cause too much? Send to enquire his state, most part of it, Lay two yeares morgag'd in his Uncles hands: Lucre. Why say it did, you might have knowne my minde; I could have soone restorde it. Curtizan. I, had I but seene any such thing perform'd Why twould have tyed my affection, and contaynd Me in my first desires, doe you thinke ifayth, That I could twine such a dry, oake as this, Had promise in your Nephew tooke effect? Lucre. Why, and there's no time past, and rather then My adversary should thus thw'art my hopes, I would Curtizan. Tut, y'ave beene ever full of golden speech, If wordes were lands, your Nephew would bee rich. Lucre. Widdow, beleeve it, I vowe by my best blisse, Before these Gentlemen, I will give in The morgage to my Nephew instantly, Before I sleepe or eate. 1. Weele pawne our credits Widdow, what he speakes shall be performde in fullnesse.

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Lucre. Nay more I will estate him In farder blessings; he shall be my heire, I have no Sonne, lie binde my selfe to that condition. Curtizan. When I shall heare this done, I shall soone yeeld, To reasonable tearmes. Lucre. In the meane season, Will you protest before these Gentlemen, To keepe your selfe, as you are, now at this present. Curtizan. I do protest before these Gentlemen, I will be as cleere then, as I am now. Lucre. I do beleeve you, here's your owne honest servant, lie take him along with me. Curtizan. I, with all my heart. Lucre. He shall see all performde and bring you word. Curtizan. Thats all I waite for. Hoord. What have you finisht Maister Lucre? ha, ha, ha, ha Lucre. So, laugh Hoord, laugh at your poore enimy, do, The winde may turne, you may be laught at too, Yes marry may you si ha, ha, ha? Exeunt [Lucre and friends with Host]. Hoord. Ha, ha, ha, if every man that swells in malice, Could be revengd as happily as I: He would chuse hate, and forsweare amity. What did he say wife, prethee? Curtizan. Faith spoke To ease his mind, Hoord. Oh o o Curtizan. You know now, Little to any purpose. Hoord. True, true, true. Curtizan. He would do mountaines now. Hoord. I, I, I, I. Lamprey. Y'ave struck him dead Master Hoord. Spichcocke. I and his Nephew desperate.

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Hoord. I knowte sirs I, Never did man so crush his enimy?

Exeunt.

Enter Lucre with Gentlemen [and Host] meeting Sam Freedome. IV.2 P. 57 Lucre. My sonne in lawe, Sam Freedome? where's my Nephew? Sam. O man in lamentation father? Lucre. How? Sam. He thumpes his brest like a gallant Dicer that has lost his doublet, and stands in's shirt to do pennance. Lucre. Allasse poore gentleman. 5 Sam. I warrant, you may heare him sigh in a still evening to your house at Hyegate. Lucre. I prethe send him in. Sam. Were it to do a greater matter, I will not stick with you sir, in regard you married my Mother? [Exit.] 10 Lucre. Sweete Gentlemen cheere him up, I will but fetch the morgage, and returne to you instantly. Exit. see where he comes, [Enter 1. Weele do our best sir? Witt-good.] E'en joylesse and regardlesse of all forme. 2. Why how Maister Wit-good, fie, you a firme scholler, 15 and an understanding Gentleman, and give your best partes to passion. 1. Come fie? Witt-good. Oh Gentlemen! 1. Sorrow of mee what a sigh Was there sir, nine such widdowes are not worth it. 20 Witt-good. To be borne from me by that lecher Hoord. 1. That vengeance is your Uncles, being done More in despite to him, then wrong to you, But we bring comfort now, P. 58 Witt-good. I beseech you Gentlemen. 2. Cheere thy selfe man, there's hope of her ifayth? Witt-good. To gladsome, to be true. Enter Lucre. Lucre. Nephew what cheere? 25 Alasse poore Gentleman how art thou changd? Call thy fresh bloud into thy cheekes agen,

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Shee comes Witt-good. Nothing afflicts me so much. But that it is your Adversary, Uncle, And meerely plotted in despite of you. Lucre. I thats it mads mee, spites mee? ile spend my wealth, e're he shall carry her so, because I know tis onely to spite me, I this is it, here Nephew, before these kinde Gentlemen I deliver in your morgage, my promise to the widdow, see tis done, be wise, your once more Maister of your owne, the widdow shall perceive now, you are not altogither such a beggar as the world reputes you, you can make shift to bring her to 300. a yeare sir. 1. Berlady and thats no toye sir.

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Lucre. A word Nephew? 1. [To Host.] Now you may certifye the widdow? Lucre. You must conceive it aright Nephewe now, T o doe you good, I am content to do this. Witt-good. I know it sir? Lucre. But your owne conscience can tell I had it deerely ynough of you? Witt-good. I thats most certaine. Lucre. Much money layde out, beside maney a journey To fetch the rent, I hope youle thinke on't Nephew. Witt-good. I were worse then a beast else ifayth. Lucre. Although to blinde the widdow and the world I out of policy doote, yet there's a conscience Nephew. Witt-good. Heaven forbid else. Lucre. When you are full possest, Tis nothing to returne it. Witt-good. Alasse a thing quickly done Uncle. Lucre. Well sayd, you know I give it you but in trust. Witt-good. Pray let me understand you rightly, Uncle. You give it me but in trust. Lucre. No. Witt-good. That is, you trust me with it.

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Lucre. True, true. Witt-good. But if ever I trust you with it agen, Would I might bee trust up for my labour. Lucre. You can all witnesse Gentlemen, and you sir 60 yeoman? Host. My life for yours sir now, I know my Mistresses minde to well toward your Nephew, let things be in preparation, and ile traine her hether in most excellent fashion. Exit. Lucre. A good old boy, wife Ginnee? Enter Wife. 65 Wife. Whats the newes sir? Lucre. The wedding daies at hand, prethee sweete wife, P. 60 expresse thy houswifery, thou'rt a fine Cooke I knowte, thy first husband married thee out of an Aldermans kitchin, go too, he raisde thee for raysing of paste, what, here's none 70 but friends, most of our beginnings must bee winckt at, Gentlemen I envite you all to my Nephewes wedding against Thursday morning. 1. With all our hearts, and wee shall joye to see Your enimy so mockt. Lucre. He laught at me, gentlemen, ha, ha, ha! 75 Exeunt [Lucre and friends]. Witt-good. Hee has no conscience, faith would laugh at them, They laugh at one another? Who then can be so cruell, troth, not I, I rather pitty now, then ought envie, I do conceive such joye in mine owne happinesse, 80 I have no leysure yet, to laugh at their follies. Thou soule of my estate I kisse thee, I misse lifes Comfort when I misse thee. Oh never will we part agen, Untill I leave the Sight of men, 85 We'le nere trust conscience of our kin, Since Coosenage brings that title in. [Exit.] Enter three Creditors.

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1. lie wayte these 7. howers but lie see him caught. 2. Faith so will I. Cock-pit. Hang him prodigall, he's stript of the Widdow. 1. A my Troth shees the wiser, she has made the happier choyse, and I wonder of what Stuffe those widdowes hearts are made of, that wil marry unfledgd Boies, before comely thrumbchind Gentlemen. Enter a Boy. Boy. Newes, newes, newes. 1. What boye? Boy. The Rioter is caught. 1. So, so, so, so, it warmes me at the heart, I love a life to see Dogs upon men; oh here hee comes.

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Enter Witt-good with Serjants. Witt-good. My last joy was so great it tooke away the sence of all future afflictions, what a day is here orecast? how soone a black tempest rises? 15 1. Oh wee may speake with you now sir, whats become of your rich widdow, I thinke you may cast your cap at the widdow, may you not sir. 2. He a rich widdow? who a prodigall, a dayly Rioter, and a nightly vomiter, he a widow of account? he a hole ith counter. 20 Witt-good. You do well my maisters, to tiranize over misery, to afflict the afflicted, tis a custome you have here amongst you, I would wish you never leave it, and I hope youle do as I bid you. 2. Come, come sir, what say you extempore now to your bill of a hundred pound: a sweet debt, for froating your doublets. 25 1. Here's mine of forty. Cock-pit. Here's mine of fifty. Witt-good. Pray sirs, youle give me Breath. 1. No sir, wel'e keepe you out of breath still, then P. 62 we shall be sure you will not run away from us. 30 Witt-good. Will you but here me speake? 2. You shall pardon us for that sir, we know you have too faire a tong of your owne, you over-came us to lately, a shame take you, we are like to loose all that for want

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of witnesses, wee dealt in policy then, alwaies when we 35 strive to bee most politique we prove most cockscombs, Non plus vltra. I perceive by us, were not ordaynde to thrive by wisdome, and therefore wee must be content to be Tradesmen. 40 Witt-good. Give me but reasonable time, and I protest lie make you ample Satisfaction. 1. Do you talke of Reasonable time to us? Witt-good. Tis true, beasts know no reasonable time. 2. Wee must have either mony or carcasse. 45 Witt-good. Alasse what good will my carcasse do you? Cock-pit. Oh tis a Secret delight we have amongst us, we that are usde to keepe birds in cages, have the heart to keepe men in prison, I warrant you. Witt-good. [Aside] I perceive I must crave a litle more Ayde from my wits, do but make shift for me this once, 50 and lie forsweare ever to trouble you in the like fashion hereafter, He have better employment for you, and I live.—— Youle give me leave my maisters to make Tryall of my friends and raise all meanes I can. 1. Thats our desires sir. Enter Host. P. 63 Host. Maister Wit-good. 56 Witt-good. Oh art thou come! Host. May I speake one word with you in private sir? Witt-good. No by my faith canst thou, I am in hell here and the Devills will not let me Come to thee. 60 Creditors. Do you call us diwills, you shall find us Puritanes, beare him away, let em talke as they go, we'le not stand to heare 'em, ah sir, am I a devile, I shall thinke the better of my selfe as long as I live, a Devill ifaith. Exeunt. Enter Hoord. Hoord. What a Sweet blessing hast thou Maister Hoord above a multitude, wilt thou never be thankeful? how dost thou thinke to be blest another time? or dost thou count this the full measure of thy hapines, by my troth I

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thinke thou doest: not only a wife large in possessions, but spatious in content, she's rich, she's yong, she's fayre, she's wise, when I wake I thinke of her lands, that revives me, when I go to bed, I dreame of her beauty, and thats ynough for me, she's worth 4. hundred a yeare in her very smock, if a man knewe how to use it, but the journey will bee all in troth into the Country, to ride to her Lands in state and order following my Brother & other worshipfull Gentlemen whose companies I ha sent downe for already, to ride along with us, in their goodly Decorum beards, their broad Velvet chashocks, and chaines of gold twice or thrice double; against which time, ile entertaine some ten men of mine own, into Liveries, all of occupations or qualities, I will not keepe an idle man about mee, the sight of which will so vexe my Adversary Lucre, for weele passe by his dore of purpose, make a little stand for nonce, & have our horses Curvet before the window, certainly he will never endure it, but run up & hang himself presently? [Enter Servant.] how now sirra? what newes? any that offer their service to me yet. Servant. Yes sir, there are some ith hall, that waite for your worships liking, and desire to be entertainde. Hoord. Are they of occupation? Servant. They are men fit for your worship sir. Hoord. Sayst so? send e'm all in! to see ten men ride after mee in watchet liveries with Orenge-tawny capes, twill cut his combe ifayth, Enter [ five serving men.] how now? of what occupation are you sir. Taylor. A Taylor, an't please your worship. Hoord. A taylor, oh very good, you shall serve to make all the Liveries what are you sir? Barber. A Barber sir. Hoord. A Barber very needefull, you shall shave all the house, and if neede require stand for a Reaper ith Sommer time, You sir? Perfumer. A Perfumer? Hoord. I smelt you before, Perfumers of all men had neede carry themselves uprightly, for if they were once knaves they would be smelt out quickly, to you sir?

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Fawlkner. A Fawlkner an't please your w o r s h i p — Hoord. Sa ho, sa ho, sa ho and you sir? Huntsman. A Huntsman sir. P. 65 Hoord. There boy, there boye, there boye? I am not so 46 old but I have pleasant daies to come, I promise you my Maisters I take such a good liking to you, that I entertaine you all, I put you already into my countenance, and you shall be shortly in my liverie? but especially you two, my 50 jolly Fawlkner and my bonny huntsman, wee shall have most neede of you at my wifes Mannor-houses ith Country, there's goodly parkes and Champion-grounds for you, we shall have all our sports within our selves, all the Gentlemen ath Country shall bee beholding to us and our pastimes. 55 Fawlkner. And weele make your worship admire sir. Hoord. Sayst thou so? doe but make mee admire, and thou shalt want for nothing, my Taylor? Taylor. Anon sir. Hoord. Go presently in hand with the liveries. 60 Taylor. I will sir. Hoord. My Barber. Barber. Here sir. Hoord. Make e'm all trim fellowes. lowse e'm well, especially my huntsman, and cut all their beards of the 65 Polonian fashion: my perfumer. Perfumer. Under your nose sir. Hoord. Cast a better savour upon the knaves, to take away the sent of my Taylors feete, and my Barbers Lotiumwater. 70 Perfumer. It shall be carefully performde sir. Hoord. But you my Fawlkner and Huntsman, the welcomst P. 66 men alive ifayth. Huntsman. And weele show you that sir, shall deserve your worshippes favour? 75 Hoord. I prethee show mee that: goe you knaves all, and wash your lungs ith Buttery, go [Exeunt servingmen.] byth masse, and well remembred, ile aske my wife that question, wife, Mistres Jane Hoord!

TEXT

Enter Curtizan alterd in Apparell. Curtizan. Sir? would you with me. Hoord. I would but know sweet wife, which might stand best to thy liking, to have the wedding dinner kept here or ith Country. Curtizan. Hum? faith sir twould like me better here, here you were married, here let all rites be ended. [Enter Host with letter.] Hoord. Could a Marquesse give a better answere? Hoord beare thy head aloft, thou'st a wife will advance it, what haste comes here now? yea a letter: some dregge of my Adversaries malice: come hether, whats the newes! Host. A thing that concernes my Mistris sir. [She reads letter.] Hoord. Why then it concernes me knave? Host. I and you knave too, (cry your worshippe mercy) you are both like to come into trouble I promise you sir, a precontract. Hoord. How a precontract sayst thou? Host. I feare they have too much proofe on't sir, old Lucre he runs mad up and downe and will to lawe as fast as he can, yong Wit-good layde hold on by his creditors, hee exclaymes upon you a tother side, saies you have wrought his undoing, by the injurious detayning of his contract. Hoord. Body a me? Host. He will have utmost satisfaction. The lawe shall give him recompence he saies. Curtizan. [Aside] Alasse his creditors so mercilesse, My state beeing yet uncertaine, I deeme it not Unconscionable to furder him. Host. True sir Hoord. Wife, What saies that letter, let me construe it. Curtizan. Curst be my rash and unadvised words, lie set my foote upon my tongue, [Tears and crumples letter.] And tread my inconsiderate grant to dust. Hoord. Wife

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Host. [Aside] A prety shift yfaith, I commend a woman when shee can make away a letter from her husband handsomely, and this was cleanely done by my troth. 115 Curtizan. I did sir? Some foolish words I must confesse did passe, Which, now letigiously he fastens on me. Hoord. Of what force? let me examine e'm. Curtizan. Too strong I feare, Would I were well free'd of him. Hoord. Shall I compound? P. 68 Curtizan. No sir, ide have it done some Nobler way 121 Of your side; ide have you come off with honor, Let basenesse keepe with them: why have you not The meanes sir, the occasions offerd you. Hoord. Where? how? deere wife. 125 Curtizan. Hee is now caught by his creditors, the slave's needie, his debts petty, hee'le rather binde himselfe, to all inconveniences then rot in pryson, by this onely meanes you may get a release from him, 'tis not yet come to his Uncles hearing, send speedily for the creditors, by this 130 time hee's disperate, hee'le set his hand to any thing, take order for his debts, or discharge e'm quite, a pax on him, lets be rid of a raskall. Hoord. Excellent, Thou dost astonish mee, go, runne, make hast, 135 Bring both the creditors and Wit-good hether. Host. [Aside] This will be some revenge yet. [Exit.] Hoord. In the meane space lie have a release drawne within there. [Enter servant.] 1. Sir. 140 Hoord. Sirrah, come take directions, goe to my Scriener. Curtizan. [Aside.] Ime yet like those, whose riches lie in dreames, If I be wakte the're false, such is my fate, Who ventures deeper then the desperate state. Though I have sind yet could I become new, 145 For where I once vow, I am ever true. Hoord. Away, Dispatch, on my Displeasure, quickly, P. 69 [Exit servant,]

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Happy occasion, pray heaven hee bee in the right Vayne now to set his hand toot, that nothing alter him; grant that al his follyes may meete in him at once, to besot him 150 inough. I pray for him ifaith, and here he comes. [Enter Witt-good and creditors.] Witt-good. What would you with me now, my Uncles spitefull Adversary. Hoord. Nay I am friends. Witt-good. I, When your mischeifes spent. Hoord. I heard you were arrested. 155 Witt-good. Wei, what then? you wil pay none of my debts I am sure. Hoord. A wiseman cannot tell, There may be those Conditions greed upon, May move me to do much. Witt-good. I when? Tis thou perjured Woman, O no name 160 Is vild inough to match thy trechery, That art the cause of my confusion. Curtizan. Out you penurious slave. Hoord. Nay wife you are too froward, Let him alone, give loosers leave to talke. 165 Witt-good. Shall I remember thee of an other promise Far stronger than the first. Curtizan. Ide faine knowe that. P. 70 Witt-good. Twould call shame to thy cheeks. Curtizan. Shame. Witt-good. Harke in your eare, Will hee come of thinkst thou, and pay my Debts roundly. Curtizan. Doubt nothing, theres a Release a drawing 170 and all to which you must set your hand. Witt-good. Excellent. Curtizan. But mee thinkes ifaith you might have made some shift to discharge this your selfe, having in the morgage, and never have burdned my conscience with it. 175

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Witt-good. A my troth I could not, for my creditors cruelties extend to the present. Curtizan. No more, [Aloud] Why do your worst for that, I defie you. 180 Witt-good. Y'are impudent, ile call up witnesses. Curtizan. Call up thy wits for thou hast beene devoted To follies a long time. Hoord. Wife, y'are too bitter? Maister Witt-good, and you my Maisters, you shal heare a milde speech come from me now, and this it is, tas beene my fortune, Gentlemen, to have an extraordinary blessing powr'd upon 185 me alate, and here she stands, I have wedded her and bedded her, & yet she is little the worse, some foolish wordes shee hath past to you in the Country, and some peevish debts you owe here in the Citty, set the Hares head to the Goose-giblet, release you her of her words, and ile 190 release you of your debts sir. Witt-good. Would you so, I thanke you for that sir, I P. 71 cannot blame you ifayth. Hoord. Why are not debts better then words sir? Witt-good. Are not words promises, and are not promises 195 debts sir. Hoord. He plaies at back-Racket with me. 1. Come hether Maister Witt-good come hether, be rulde by fooles once. 2. We are Cittizens and know what belong toote. 200 1. Take hold of his offer, pax on her, let her goe, if your debts were once discharg'd, I would helpe you to a widdow my selfe worth ten of her. Cock-pit. Masse partner and now you remember mee on't, there's Maister Muligrubs sister newly falne a widdow. 205 1. Cuds mee, as pat as can be, there's a widdow left for you, ten thousand in mony, beside Plate, Iewells et coetera, I warrant it a match, wee can do all in all with her, prethee dispatch weele carry thee to her presently. Witt-good. My Uncle will nere endure me, when he shall 210 heare I set my hand to a release.

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2. Harke, ile tell thee a Trick for that, I have spent five hundred pound in suites in my time, I should be wise, thou'rt now a prisoner, make a release, takte of my worde, whatsoever a man makes as long as he is in durance, tis 215 nothing in lawe, not thus much. Witt-good. Say you so sir? Cockpit. I have payde for't I know't. Witt-good. Proceede then, I consent. P. 72 Cock-pit. Why wel sayde. 220 Hoord. How now my Maisters, what have you done with him? 1. With much a doe sir, we have got him to consent. Hoord. Ah—a—a, and what came his debts to now? 1. Some eight score od pounds sir. Hoord. Nau, nau, nau, nau, naw, tell me the second time, 225 give me a lighter somme, they are but desperate debts you know, neere cald in but upon such an accident, a poore needy knave hee would starve and rot in prison, come, come you shall have ten shillings in the pound and the somme downe roundly 230 1. You must make it a marke sir, [Enter Scrivener] Hoord. Go too then, tell your mony in the meane time, come [Gives money.] you shall finde little lesse there, Maister Witt-good you are unwilling to do your selfe good now, welcome honest Scrivener, now you shall heare the 235 release read, Scrivener. Be it known, to al men by these presents, that I Theodorus Wit-good, Gentleman, sole Nephew to Pecunius Lucre, having unjustly made title and claime, to one Jane Medler, late widdow of Anthony Medler, and 240 now wife to Walkadine Hoord, in consideration of a competent som of mony to discharge my debts, do for ever hereafter disclaime any title, right, estate, or interest in or to the sayd widdow late in the occupation of the sayd Anthony Medler, and now in the 245 occupation of Walkadine Hoord, as also neither to laye P. 73 claime, by vertue of any former contract, grant, promise or demise, to any of her Mannor, Mannorhouses, Parkes, Groves,

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Meadow-grounds, arrable lands, Barnes, stacks, Stables, Dove-holes, and Cunny-borrowes; togither with al her cattell, 250 money, plate, jewells, borders, chaines, bracelets, furnitures, hangings, moveables, or immoveables, in wittnesse wherof I the sayd Theodorus Wit-good, have enterchangeably set to my hand and seale before these presents, the daie, & date above written. 255 Witt-good. What a pretious fortune hast thou slipt here like a beast as thou art? Hoord. Come, unwilling heart come. Witt-good. Well Maister Hoord, give me the pen, I see Tis vaine to quarrell with our destiny, 260 Hoord. Oh as vaine a thing as can bee, you cannot commit a greater absurdity sir, so, so, give mee that hand now, before al these presents I am friends for ever with thee. Witt-good. Troth, and it were pitty of my heart now, if I should beare you any grudge yfaith. 265 Hoord. Content, ile send for thy Uncle against the wedding dinner, we will be friends once agen. Witt-good. I hope to bring it to passe my selfe sir? Hoord. How now? ist right my masters? 1. Tis somthing wanting sir, yet it shall be sufficient. 270 Hoord. Why well sayd, a good conscience makes a fine showe now a daies, come my Maisters you shall all tast of my wine ere you depart. All. We follow you sir? [Exeunt Hoard, Curtizan, and Scrivener.] P. 74 Witt-good. Ile try these fellowes now, a word sir, 275 what will you carry me to that widdow now? 1. Why do you thinke we were in earnest yfaith? carry you to a rich widdow, wee should get much credit by that; a noted Rioter, a contemptible prodigall, twas a Trick we have amongst us, to get in our mony, fare you well sir. 280 Exeunt [creditors]. Witt-good. Farewell and be hangd, you short-pig-hayrde Ram-headed raskalls, he that beleeves in you, shall nere be sav'd I warrant him, By this new league, I shall have some accesse

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She is above. Unto my love Maister Witt-good? Neece. My life. Witt-good. Neece. Meete me presently, that note directs you, I would not be suspected, Our happinesse attends us, farewell? Exeunt. A words ynough. Witt-good. Dampit the Usurer in his bed, Audry spinning by [; a boy in waiting].

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[Boy's and Audry's] Song. Let the Usurer cram him, in interest that excell, There's pits enow to dam him, before he comes to hell. In Holborne, some: in Fleete-street some, Where ere he come, there's some there's some. Dampit. Trahe, traheto, drawe the Curtaine, give mee 5 a sippe of Sack more. Enter [Lamprey, Spichcocke]. Lamprey. Looke you, did not I tell you he lay like the P. 75 devill in chaines, when he was bound for a thousand yeare. Spichcocke. But I thinke the devill had no Steele Bedstaffes, he goes beyond him for that. 10 Lamprey. Nay doe but marke the conceite of his drincking, one must wipe his mouth for him with a muckinder, do you see sir. Spichcocke. Is this the sick trampler, why he is onely bed-red with drincking. 15 Lamprey. True sir, he spies us. Dampit. What? sir Tristram? you come and see a weake man here, a very weake man, Lamprey. If you be weake in body, you should be strong in prayer sir. 20 Dampit. Oh, I have pray'd too much poore man. Lamprey. There's a tast of his soule for you. Spichcocke. Fah, loathsome? Lamprey. I come to borrow a hundred pound of you sir. Dampit. Alasse you come at an ill time, I cannot spare 25 it ifayth, I ha but two thousand ith house.

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Audry. Ha, ha, ha. Dampit. Out you gernative queane, the mullipood of villany, the Spinner of concupiscency. Enter [Sir Lancelot and awjother Gentleman. 30 Lancelot. Yea gentlemen are you here before us? how is hee now? Lamprey. Faith the same man still, the Taverne bitch has bit him ith head. P. 76 Lancelot. Wee shall have the better sport with him, peace, and how cheeres Maister Dampit now? 35 Dampit. Oh, my bosome sir Lancelot, how cheere I? thy presence is restorative. Lancelot. But I heare a great complaint of you Maister Dampit, among gallants. Dampit. I am glad of that ifayth; prethee what? 40 Lancelot. They say you are waxte proud alate, and if a friend visit you in the after-noone, you'le scarce know him. Dampit. Fie, fie, proud? I cannot remember any such thing, sure I was drunck then. 45 Lancelot. Thinke you so sir? Dampit. There twas ifayth, nothing but the pride of the Sack and so certifie e'm, fetch Sack sirrah. Boy. [Aside] A vengeance Sack you once. [Exit.] Audry. Why Maister Dampit if you hold on as you begin, 50 and lie a little longer, you neede not take care how to dispose your wealth, you'le make the Vintner your heire. Dampit. Out you babliaminy, you unfetherd cremitoryed queane, you cullisance of scabiosity. Audry. Good words Maister Dampit, to speake before a 55 maide and a virgin. Dampit. Hang thy virginity, upon the pole of carnality. Audry. Sweete tearmes, my Mistris shall know e'm. [Boy returns with sack.] Lamprey. Note but the misery of this usuring slave, here hee lies like a noysome dunghill, full of the poyson of his 60

TEXT

druncken blasphemies, and they to whome he bequeathes all, grudge him the very meate that feedes him, the very pillow that eases him, here may a usurer behold his end, what profits it to be a slave in this world, and a devil ith next. Dampit. Sir Lancelot? let me busse thee sir Lancelot, thou art the onely friend that I honor and respect. Lancelot. I thanke you for that Maister Dampit. Dampit. Farewell my bosome sir Lancelot. Lancelot. Gentlemen, and you love mee, let mee step behinde you, and one of you fall a talking of me to him. Lamprey. Content Maister Dampit. Dampit. So sir. Lamprey. Here came sir Lancelot to see you e'en now. Dampit. Hang him raskall. Lamprey. Who sir Lancelot. Dampit. Pythagoricall raskall. Lamprey. Pythagoricall? Dampit. I he changes his cloake when he meetes a Sergiant. Lancelot. What a rogues this? Lamprey. I wonder you can raile at him sir, he comes in love to see you. Dampit. A louse for his love, his father was a Combemaker, I have no neede of his crawling love, hee comes to have longer day, the superlative raskall. Lancelot. Sfoote I can no longer endure the rogue, Maister Dampit, I come to take my leave once agen sir? Dampit. Who? my deere and kinde Sir Lancelot? the onely Gentleman of England, let me hug thee, farewell and a thousand. Lamprey. Composde of wrongs and slavish flatteries. Lancelot. Nay Gentlemen, he shall show you more Tricks yet, ile give you another tast of him. Lamprey. I'st possible? Lancelot. His memory is upon departing. Dampit. Another cup of Sack. Lancelot. Masse then twill be quite gon: before he

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95

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drinke that, tell him theres a cuntry client come up, and here attends for his Learned advice. Lamprey. Inough. 100 Dampit. One Cup more, and then let the Bell toale, I hope I shall be weake inough by that time. Lamprey. Maister Dampit. Dampit. Is the Sack spouting. Lamprey. Tis comming forward sir, heres a countryman 105 a client of yours, waytes for your deepe and profound advice sir. Dampit. A cockscombry? where is he? let him approch, set me up a pegge higher. Lamprey. [To Lancelot.] You must draw nere sir. 110 Dampit. Now good-man fooleaminy, what say you to me now? Lancelot. Please your good worship, I am a poore man sir. Dampit. What make you in my Chamber then? Lancelot. I would entreate your worships device in a P. 79 just and honest cause sir, 116 Dampit. I meddle with no such matters, I refer e'm, to Maister No-mans Office. Lancelot. I had but one house left me in all the world sir which was my fathers, my Grand-fathers, my great 120 Grandfathers, and now a Villaine has unjustly wrung me out, and tooke possession ont. Dampit. Has he such feates? thy best course is to bring thy eiectione firme, and in Seaven yeare thou mayst shove him out by the Law. 125 Lancelot. Alasse, ant please your worship, I have small friends and lesse mony. Dampit. Hoyda, this geere will fadge well, hast no money, why then my advice is thou must set fire ath house & so get him out. 130 Lamprey. That will breake strife indeed. Lancelot. I thanke your worship for your hot Counsell sir, altring but my voyce a litle, you see he knew me not, you may observe by this that a drunkards memory, holds

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201

longer in the voyce then in the person, but Gentlemen shall I show you a sight, behold the litle dive-dapper of Damnation, Gulfe the usurer, for his time worse then tother.

135

Enter Hoord with Gulf. Lamprey. What's he comes with him? Lancelot. Why Hoord, that maried lately the widdowe Medler. 140 Lamprey. Oh, I cry you mercy sir. P. 80 Hoord. Now gentlemen visitants? how dos maister Dampit? Lancelot. Faith here hee lies e'n drawing-in sir, good canary as fast as hee can sir, a very weake creature truely, hee is almost past memory. 145 Hoord. Fie Maister Dampit: you lie lazing abed here, and I come to envite you to my wedding dinner, up, up, up. Dampit. Whose this? maister Hoord! who hast thou married in the name of foolery. Hoord. A rich widdow. 150 Dampit. A Duch widdow. Hoord. A ritch widdow, one widdow Medler. Dampit. Medler she keepes open house. Hoord. She did I can tell you in her tother husbands dayes, open house for all comers, horse and man was welcome, 155 and Roome inough for em all. Dampit. Theres to much for thee then, thou mayst let out some to thy Neighbours. Gulfe. What? hung a live in chaynes O Spectacle, bed staffs of Steele, O monstrum, horrendum, Informe, Ingens 160 cui Lumen ademptum, O Dampit, Dampit, heres a Just judgment, showne upon usury, extortion, and trampling Villany. Lancelot. This [is] exlent, theefe rayles upon the Theefe. Gulfe. Is this the end of cut throate Usury, Brothell, and blasphemy? now maist thou see what Race a Usurer runnes. 165 Dampit. Why thou Rogue of universality, do not I know P. 81 thee? thy Sound is like the cuckowe, the Welch Embassador, thou cowardly slave that offers to fight with a sicke man

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when his weapons downe: rayle upon me in my naked bed? why thou great Lucifers litle vicar, I am not so weake, but 170 I know a knave at first sight, thou Inconscionable Raskall, thou that goest upon Middlesex Juryes, and will make hast to give up thy verdit, because thou wilt not loose thy dinner, are you answered? Gulfe. Ant twere not for shame. draws his dagger. 175 Dampit. Thou wouldst be hangd then. Lamprey. Nay you must exercize patience Maister Gulfe, alwayes in a sick-mans Chamber. Lancelot. Hee'le quarrell with none I warrant you, but those that are bedred. 180 Dampit. Let him come Gentlemen, I am arm'd, reach my closse stoole hether. Lancelot. Here wilbe a sweet fraie anon, lie leave you gentlemen. Lamprey. Nay wel'e a long with you——Maister Gulfe. 185 Gulfe. Hang him usuring raskall. Lancelot. Push, set your Strenght to his, your wit to his. Audry. Pray Gentlemen depart, his howers come upon him, sleepe in my bosome, sleepe. 190 Lancelot. Nay we have inough of him ifaith, keepe him for the house, Now, make your best. P. 82 For thrice his wealth, I would not have his brest. Gulfe. A litle thing would make me beat him, now he's 195 asleep. Lancelot. Masse then twilbe a pittifull day when he wakes. I would be loath to see that day, come. Gulfe You over-rule me gentlemen ifaith. Exeunt [visitors; bed-curtains close.] ACTVS 5. Enter Lucre and Witt-good.

V.l

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Witt-good. Nay uncle, let me prevayle with you so much, ifaith go, now he has envited you. Lucre. I shall have great joy there, when he has borne away the widdow. Witt-good. Why la, I thought where I should find you 5 presently; Uncle, a my troth, tis nothing so. Lucre. Whats nothing so sir, is not he maried to the widdow. Witt-good. No by my troth is he not Uncle. Lucre. How? 10 Witt-good. Will you have the truth ont, he is married to a whore ifaith. Lucre. I should laugh at that. Witt-good. Uncle, let me perish in your favour if you find it not so and that tis I that have married the honest 15 woman. Lucre. Ha? Ide walke ten mile afoot to see that ifaith. P. 83 Witt-good. And see'te you shall, or lie nere see you agen. Exeunt. 20 Lucre. A Queane ifaith? ha, ha, ha. Enter Hoord tasting wine the Host following in a Livery cloake.

V.2

Hoord. Pup, pup, pup, pup, I like not this wine, is there never a better Teirs in the house. Host. Yes sir, there are as good Teirs in the house, as any are in England. Hoord, Desire your mistris you knave, to tast e'm all 5 over, shee has better Skill. Host. [Aside] Has she so, the better for her, and the worse for you. Exit. Hoord. Arthur, is the cupbard of plate set out. [Arthur looks /«.] Arthur. Al's in order sir. 10 Hoord. I am in love with my Liveryes every time I thinke on e'm, they make a gallant show by my troth, Neece, [She enters.]

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Neece. Do you call sir? Hoord. Prethee show a litle diligence, and over-looke the knaves a litle, theile filtch and steale today and send whole pasties home to their wives, and thou bee'st a good Neece, do not see me purloynd. Neece. Feare it not sir, [Aside] I have cause, tho the feast bee prepared for you, yet it serves fit for my wedding dinner too. [Exit.] Enter two Gentlemen. Hoord. Maister Lamprey, and Maister Spichcocke two the most welcome gentlemen alive, your fathers and mine were all free ath Fishmongers. Lamprey. They were indeed sir, you see bould guestes sir, soone intreated. Hoord. And thats best sir [Enter servant.] how now sirrah? Servant. Ther's a coach come to'th doore sir. Hoord. My Ladie Foxestone a my life. Mistris Jane Hoord, wife, [Enter Lady Foxestone.] masse tis her Ladyship indeed, Madame you are welcome to an unfurnisht house, dearth of cheere, scarcsity of attendance. Lady. You are pleasd to make the worst sir. Hoord. Wife. [Enter Curtizan.] Lady. Is this your Bride. Hoord. Yes Maddam salute my Lady Foxtone. Curtizan. Please you Madam a while to tast the ayre in the garden? Lady. Twill please us well. Exeunt [women], Hoord. Who would not wed; the most delitious life, No Joyes are like the comforts of a wife. Lamprey. So we bachilers thinke that are not troubled with them. [Enter servant.] Servant. Your worships brother with an other antient Gentleman, are newly allighted Sir. [Exit.]

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[Enter Onesiphorus Hoord, Limber, and Kixe.]

205 P. 85

Hoord. Maister Onesiphorus Hoord, why now our company begins to come in: my deere and kind brother welcome ifaith. Onesiphorus. You see we are men at an hower brother. Hoord. I, lie say that for you brother you keepe as good an hower to come to a feast, as any Gentleman in the Sheere. What 50 ould Maister Limber and maister Kicks, doe wee meete ifaith Jolly Gentlemen? Limber. We hope you lack guesse sir? Hoord. Oh welcome, welcome, wee lack still such guesse as your worships. Onesiphorus. Ah sirrah brother, have you catcht up widdow Medler. Hoord. From e'm all brother, and I may tell you, I had mighty enemies, those that stuck sore, old Lucre is a sore foxe I can tell you brother. 60 Onesiphorus. Where is she, ile go seeke her out, I long to have a smack at her lips. [Enter Curtizan.] Hoord. And most wishfully brother see where she comes, give her a smack now we may heare it all the house over. [O. Hoord approaches her.] Both turne back. 65 Curtizan. [Aside] Oh heaven, I am betrayde, I know that face. Hoord. Ha, ha, ha, why how now? are you both ashamde? come Gentlemen, weele looke another way Onesiphorus. Nay Brother, harke you, come y'are disposde to be merrie? 70 Hoord. Why do we meete else man? Onesiphorus. That's another matter, I was nere so fread P. 86 in my life but that you had beene in earnest. Hoord. How meane you brother? Onesiphorus. You sayd she was your wife? 75 Hoord. Did I so? by my troth and so she is. Onesiphorus. By your troth Brother? Hoord. What reason have I to dissemble with my friends, brother, if marriage can make her mine, she is mine? why? Onesiphorus. Troth I am not well of a suddaine? I must 80

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crave pardon brother, I came to see you, but I cannot stay dinner yfaith. Hoord. I hope you will not serve mee so brother. Limber. By your leave Maister Hoord. [Going, with Kixe.] Hoord. What now? what now? pray Gentlemen, you were 85 wont to show your selves wisemen. Limber. But you have showne your folly too much here. Hoord. How? Kixe. Fie, fie, a man of your repute and name, Youle feast your friends but cloye e'm first with shame. 90 Hoord. This growes too deepe, pray let us reach the sence. Limber. In your old age doate on a Curtizan Hoord. Ha? Kixe. Marry a Strumpet? Hoord. Gentlemen! Onesiphorus. And Wit-goods queane. Hoord. Oh, nor Lands, nor living? Onesiphorus. Living? P. 87 Hoord. Speake? Curtizan. Alasse you know at first sir, 95 I told you I had nothing. Hoord. Out, out, I am cheated, infinitely couzned. Limber Nay Master Hoord. Enter [Joyce,] Wit-good, and Lucre. Hoord. A dutch widdow, a dutch widdow, a dutch widdow! Lucre. Why Nephew shall I trace thee still a lier? 100 Wilt make mee mad, is not yon thing the widdow. Witt-good. Why la, you are so hard a beleefe Uncle, by my troth she's a whore. Lucre. Then thou'rt a knave. 105 Witt-good. Negatur Argumentum Uncle. Lucre. Probo tibi, Nephew: Hee that knowes a woman to bee a queane must needes bee a knave, thou sayst thou knowst her to bee one, ergo if shee bee a queane thou'rt a knave! Witt-good. Negatur sequela maioris, Uncle, hee that 110 knowes a woman to be a queane, must needes be a knave, I deny that.

TEXT

Hoord. Lucre, and Witt-good, y'are both villaines, get you out of my house. Lucre. Why didst not invite me to thy wedding dinner? Witt-good. And are not you and I sworne perpetuall friends before wittnesse sir, and were both drunck upon't. Hoord. Daintily abusde y'ave put a Junt upon me. Lucre. Ha, ha, ha! Hoord. A common strumpet? Witt-good. Nay now you wrong Her sir, if I were shee ide have the lawe On you for that, I durst depose for her, Shee nere had common use, nor common thought. Curtizan. Despise me, publish me, I am your wife. What shame can I have now but youle have part, If in disgrace you share, I sought not you: You pursued me, nay forc'st me, Had I friends would follow it, Lesse then your action has beene prov'd a rape. Onesiphorus. Brother? Curtizan. Nor did I ever boast of lands unto you, Money or goods: I tooke a playner course: And told you true ide nothing, If error were committed twas by you. Thanke your owne folly, nor has my sinne beene So odious but worse has bin forgiven, Nor am I so deformd but I may challinge The utmost power of any old mans love, Shee that tasts not sin before, twenty to one but sheele tast it after: most of you ould men are content to mary yong Virgins and take that which followes, where marrying one of us, you both save a sinner, and are quit from a cuckold for ever, "And more in breife let this your best thoughts winne, "She that knowes sinne, knowes best how to hate sinne. Hoord. Curst be all Malice, blacke are the fruites of spite, And poyson first their owners: O my friends,

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I must imbrace shame, to be rid of shame, Conceald disgrace prevents a publick name. Ah Witt-good, ah Theodorus! Witt-good. Alasse sir, I was prickt in conscience to see her well bestowd, and where could I bestowe her better then upon your pittifull worship: excepting but my selfe, I dare sweare shees a Virgin, and now by marrying your Neece I have banisht my selfe for ever from her, she's mine Aunt now by my faith, and theres no Medling with mine Aunt you know, a sinne against my Nuncle. Curtizan. Lo, Gentlemen, before you all, In true reclaymed forme I fall, [Kneels.] Hence-forth for ever I defie, The Glances of a sinnefull eye, Waving of Fans, which some suppose, Tricks of Fancy, Treading of Toes, Wringing of Fingers, byting the Lip, The wanton gate, th'alluring Trip, All secret friends and private meetings, Close borne letters, and Baudes greetings, Fayning excuse to weomens Labours, When we are sent for to'th next Neighbours, Taking false Phisicke, and nere start, To be let blood, tho signe be at heart, Removing chambers, shifting beds, To welcome Frends in husbands steads, Them to enjoy, and you to marry, They first servd, while you must tarry, They to spend and you to gather, They to get and you to father, These and thousand thousand more, New reclaymed I now abhore. Lucre. Ah, heres a lesson Rioter for you. Witt-good. I must confesse my follyes, He downe to. And Here for ever I disclaime, The cause of youths undooing: Game. Cheifly dice, those true outlanders,

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That shake out Beggars, Theeves and Panders, Soule wasting Surfets, sinfull Riotts, Queanes Evills, Doctors diets. Pothecaries Drugs, Surgeons Glisters, Stabbing of armes for a common Mistris, Riband favours, Ribauld Speeches, Deere perfumde Jacketts, pennylesse breeches, Dutch Flapdragons, healths in Urine, Drabs that keepe a man to sure in : I do defie you all. Lend me each honest hand, for here I rise, A reclaymde man loathing the generali vice. Hoord. So, so, all friends, the wedding dinner cooles, Who seeme most crafty prove oft times most fooles. FINIS.

EXPLANATORY NOTES

In these notes the quarto dated 1608, the substantive text of the play, is indicated by "Q." Dramatis Personae Q does not furnish the dramatis personae. Although the satiric meaning of most of the names is evident, the sense of a few of them may be made more precise by comment: Onesiphorus Hoord's Greek name (from II Timothy IV. 19) means "profit-bearer"; but his brother's is less clear. It may mean "terrible strength" (aAxf) Seivfj) A hex is a dried stalk; a spitchcock, a split and broiled eel. These latter names, like Foxestone and Limber, probably also make sexual allusions. In Middleton's Blacke Booke (1604) a pander calls his whore "my glorie-fatte Awdry .... sweet Nawd" (sig. B4V). Although modern dictionaries do not indicate that the name was generally used with this implication, it may have been. It is hard to resist the inference that Dampit is drawn from some notorious money-lender. When one examines the numerous portraits of the typical usurer painted by satirists and preachers of that era, Dampit is differentiated by his drunkenness upon expensive sack, his iron bedstead and iron chest, his unlicensed selling of legal advice, and his living in the neighborhood of Barnard's Inn. Barnard's, an Inn of Chancery in Holborn, consisted of about a dozen houses occupied mainly by younger law students who in due course moved to an Inn of Court, especially Gray's. (John Stow, Survey of London, ed. C. L. Kingsford (Oxford, 1908), I, 77-78; H. A. Harben, Dictionary of London (London, 1918), p. 47.) In Middleton's audience the students from Barnard's presumably recognized

EXPLANATORY NOTES

211

Dampit easily; but I have not been able to identify him. An excellent interpretation of his dramatic significance is offered by Richard Levin, "The Dampit Scenes in A Trick to Catch the Old One", Modern Language Quarterly, XXV (1964), 140-152. The reference to Povey's new buildings (III.4.4 and note) indicates that Dampit is speaking in 1606 or 1607.1 find no more definite indication of the year than that. The time occupied by the action seems to be six or seven days; but Middleton's manipulation of the action suggests this passage of time rather than his definite references to hours and days. One scene of Dampit, III.4, is wholly unrelated to the time-sequence of the plot. Page 142 1.1] M. W. Sampson rightly locates this scene on a street of a town in Leicestershire. Thomas Middleton (New York, 1915) (the present edition corresponds exactly to Sampson's, Dyce's, and Bullen's with respect to act and scene numbers and very closely with respect to line numbers; references to Sampson's edition will be simply by his name). See II. 1.59, below. Page 143 32 round webd] Sampson's guess that round webd refers to the Curtizan's hooped farthingale seems correct. Possibly Middleton knew that some species of tarantula line their dens with a filmy web to prevent erosion; but the more common shape of spider web may be the image intended. Page 145 102-103 Enter ... Kixe] Q gives no entrance for O. Hoord, Limber, and Kixe; their speeches are headed 1., 2., and 3. Hoord's identity is revealed in 109; the names of Limber and Kixe are given in IV.2.44-51, Between 1.1 and IV.2 these actors were free to play Witt-good's Creditors or other parts. 127 A scholler] As Sampson notes, this refers to Monylove; Onesiphorus could not consider Witt-good a possible husband for Joyce. But Monylove has little opportunity to use the Latin phrases, which Middleton often gives to his gentlemen educated at university.

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Page 146 1.2] Another street in the same town, and hour or so later. The incongruity of the Host's not knowing the Curtizan, whereas O. Hoord knows her relation with Witt-good and recognizes her (1.1.68-69; V.2.65-66), would pass unnoted by the audience, and it is unnecessary to assume that separate towns are meant. Page 148 1.3] A street in London, one or two days after 1.2. 10 witnesse] Plural; this quarto contains an apparently unusual number of archaic or dialectal plural nouns without -s; year (IV.5.8) friend (IV.1.50), pound (III.4.56), mile (V.1.17), guest {guesse) (V.2.53), game (V.2.182). That these are all Middleton's preferences is unlikely; but I have no data on their occurrence in his other plays. Page 149 30 Vulnera ... sayes] I have been unable to locate this phrase by means of concordances of the major Roman poets. Page 150 1.4] A street in London, at about the same time as 1.3. The Curtizan has been inned nearby. The street is probably in the west end of London or in Holborn. Dampit's house seems to be near Barnard's Inn (III.4.71), and his business is largely at Westminster; Lucre has a house at Highgate, about four miles north of Holborn in Middlesex (IV.2.7). 3 the writings] The faked letters, deeds, or other legal papers which the Host will carry to Lucre, and which have to do with the Widow Medler's Tearme businesse (II. 1.34). 10-11 Trampler of time] The Oxford English Dictionary defines trampler as "a go-between ... an attorney"; originally synonomous with tramper, a walker-about. The original sense fits better the phrase Trampler of the Law (31), one who exploits the law's quirks and by-ways. (OED cites A Trick for its first instance of trampler of the law; but the expression occurs earlier, as in Woodstock, ca. 1590 (Malone Society Reprint, ed. W. P. Frijlinck, Oxford, 1929,

EXPLANATORY NOTES

213

line 2979).) The sense "one who treads down human rights" better fits the present phrase Trampler of time ("the world"). OED does not cite this phrase. 13-14 Brothell, vomiting] All editors print brothel-vomiting, presumably in the sense "vomiting drunkenly in brothels", less likely in that of "belching vile language" or "thrown out of brothels". The stereotyped usurer or miser did not spend his money on sack or harlots; yet Gulfe also accuses Dampit of brothelry (IV.5.164). See the note on Dramatis Personae. Page 151 36-37 Hee ... us] The Latin proverb Qui vadit plane, vadit sane was familiar in English as "He that walks plainly walks safely" (or "softly" or "wisely"). See No. W9 in M. P. Tilley, Dictionary of the Proverbs in England in the Sixteenth and Seventeenth Centuries (Ann Arbor, 1950). This instance is omitted from Archer Taylor's list in "Proverbs and Proverbial Phrases in the Plays of Thomas Middleton", Southern Folklore Quarterly, XXIII (1959), 79-89. Taylor enumerates about twelve proverbial phrases and sentences found in A Trick; one of these is not, but should be, identified with Tilley's No. S939: "It is good striving to be the best" (compare III.3.120). Page 152 60 Visions of Holborne] Sampson's conjecture that Dampit refers to lewd pictures or images seems to me implausible, but I have no better one to offer. OED has no appropriate sense for visions. 62 Fooli-aminy and Cocks-combri] The hyphenation may indicate the compositor's unfamiliarity with these words; the hyphens are omitted in later occurrences (III.4.49, 57;IV.5.108, 111). OED does not record cockscombry at all, but cites A Trick and The Virgin Martyr (III.3.67) for fooliaminy. OED describes bawdreaminy as a nonce-word in A Trick (III.4.50), and likewise babliaminy (IV.5.53); it omits mullipood and cremitoryed (IV.5.28, 53). Probably most of these terms from Dampit's railing are Middleton's coinages, and their meaning has to be inferred from obvious roots or resemblances. 68 souc'st] Otherwise spelled soused, sowced, sawced, and in this context meaning to "beat severely", to "birch".

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Page 152 II. 1] In Lucre's house, an hour or so after 1.4. 13 Aunt... last Translation] Aunt, for "bawd", occurs in Michaelmas Term (III. 1.266). I have found no citations of this meaning in the sixteenth century, but Tilley, Dictionary of Proverbs (A 398) shows its commonness in the seventeenth. (See also V.2.154-156.) Which biblical passage Middleton has in mind here I have not discovered; Leviticus XVIII.12.14 does not seem relevant. Possibly last Translation here means only "latest slang". Page 157 169 here she layes Clayme] The papers carried by the Host must have made this claim. Page 158 201-208 the cheife cause ... Revennewes] The power of mutual hatred to overwhelm both caution and avarice in the two old men is supremely important for criticism of this comedy. This passion, and not avarice overreaching itself ,is the essential theme. See 1.3 throughout; II.1.44-52; III.3.98-103; V.2.145-146. Page 159 246 Uncles house] The heavy repetition of this phrase (217, 234, 244, 354) probably indicates a topical allusion not yet discovered. 250-251 Coale-harbour] Cold Harbor, on the north bank of the River and a little west of the Bridge, had formerly been a royal property and hence was now popularly believed to be not in the City's jurisdiction and therefore a place of sanctuary. It had become a disreputable tenement; see III.3.109. Harben, London, p. 161; Stow, Survey, ed. Kingsford, II, 322, Supp. Notes, p. 14. Page 162 345 strike all sure] "Necessitate a merriage" (Sampson). 363 device] Devise, a legal term for disposition of property. Page 163 II.2] A street in London, on the day following II. 1.

EXPLANATORY NOTES

215

Page 165 54 Enter ... Cock-pit] Middleton simply numbered the Creditors and left differentiation of them to the actors. To aid the reader I have substituted Cock-pit for 3. in the four scenes (II.2, III. 1, IV.3, and IV.4) of the Creditors and have renumbered the other two in accord with the amounts Witt-good owes them (II.2.69, IV.3.25-27). Page 166 111.1] The common room of the inn in which Witt-good and the Curtizan have lodgings, in the morning after II.2 (see 238, 256-257, below). However, the action is continuous from II.2 to III.l, without any reference to the intervening night. The intermission between acts and the music create the illusion of lapse of time, during which Hoord has met the Widow Medler. (If the audience reflect further, they may suppose that the Creditors sought for Witt-good the night before, did not find him, and have returned the next morning. 29-30] On my omission of about 15 lines of Q at this point, see the Textual Notes. Page 168 95-101] It is to be noted that Witt-good voluntarily shelves his project of tricking Lucre into returning the mortgage, in fact, dangerously imperils the plan, in order that the Curtizan maybe assured of wealth and respectability. As a lover, he may have in mind that the Curtizan, as wife, may persuade Hoord to accept Witt-good as Joyce's husband even though poor (104-105); but he must know that such an outcome is more uncertain than regaining the mortgage from Lucre now. Page 169 107 Exeunt] I suppose Witt-good ascends backstage to a window (compare IV.4.283); Sampson believes he hides behind an arras. Page 173 237 serve for him] "Suffice for his eager appetite just now". Page 173 111.2] A room in Hoord's house, about an hour later than III.l.

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Page 174 13 private charge] A command to deliver the letter privately. 111.3] The common room of the tavern in which the Widow has agreed to meet Witt-good and Lucre, about an hour later than III.2. Page 176 69 making] Matching (OED cites only this instance). Page 178 111.4] Dampit's house, This night is not related to any in the other plot. 3-4 to overthrow ... buildings] This phrase modifies I kneeld ... Sampson notes that Stowe, though he does not make the exact date clear, mentions the tearing down of Povey's new wooden buildings in Paul's Churchyard between 1605 and 1608, in enforced compliance with recent laws against structures of wood in the City. Page 179 50 Caverne-fed] Q reads Cauerne-/fed, which previous editors have printed as cavernesed, regarding it as Dampit's invention. Rather, Q's - fed is probably an error due to foul case. None of these forms is mentioned by OED; but it notes the evil associations of caverns, as primitive dwellings and the abodes of vermin such as mice and worms, Audry, a drab of Beggary, in Dampit's conception was fed a vile diet in her childhood. Page 180 IV. 1] The time is early afternoon of the same day as III. 3. Page 181 21 You ... his) The carrying off and the marrying (or either] of a woman against her will or in duress, particularly if she had property and were not a ward or bondwoman of the doer, was a felony without benefit of clergy, and the abettors were felons. E. Coke, The Third Part of the Institutes or the Laws of England, fourth edition (London, 1670), sigs. Ki-Kjv. The Widow's remark reminds Hoord that there was no duress. But Lucre's negotiation with her (72-86)

EXPLANATORY NOTES

217

reveals his hope to have the Widow avoid consummation of the marriage until Lucre has restored Witt-good's lands, after which she will escape with Witt-good and later have the marriage to Hoord nullified because made under duress. However, her remaining overnight with Hoord negates any chance of nullification, and Lucre despairs (V. 1.3-8). Page 184

IV.2] In Lucre's house, a short time later. Page 186

IV.3] A street near Witt-good's inn, a little while later. Page 188

43 Tis ... time] Probably an indecent, proverbial allusion. Taylor's "Proverbs and Proverbial Phrases" does not list it; Tilley's T314, in A Dictionary, has variants on Ecclesiastes III.l, without mention of beasts. 58 May ... sir] Probably the Host has come to report that the Widow has gone home with Hoord, in spite of learning that Lucre has given up the mortgage to Witt-good. Of course the Host continues ignorant of the Widow's identity. IV.4] In Hoord's house, next morning. There has been time for Witt-good and the Host to plan the ruse of the pre-contract. Page 189

15 chashocks] Changed by most editors to cassocks, the term for the long gowns worn by soldiers, sailors, scholars, and clerics, as well as other classes. But OED records no spelling of the word which uses ch or sh, and does not cite this passage. Page 191

106 My ... uncertaine] Besides pitying Witt-good in his difficulty, the Curtizan remembers that she may need help when Hoord finds she is penniless. Fear of being made a laughingstock by Witt-good might force Hoord to keep her as his wife.

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Page 192 122 come ... honor] By compoundHoord appears to suggest that he admit the validity of Witt-good's claim of precontract, then obtain Witt-good's abandonment of his rights by an expensive settlement, probably including transfer of property, But the Widow proposes, as more honorable, to obtain Witt-good's repudiation (release) of any claims he might in future make on the basis of former words passed (note unjustly, 239). The existence of a precontract is not to be admitted. 129-130 'tis ... hearing] Since by this time Lucre has surely learned that the Widow has consummated the marriage to Hoord, whether Lucre has heard of Witt-good's arrest matters little, for Lucre is in no mood to assist his nephew further. It is hard to imagine his paying Witt-good's debts in the hope of financing Witt-good in a suit for breach of promise against the Widow. Since Lucre's attempt to institute such a suit would be a disaster for Witt-good, Witt-good has not told him of the claim. The Host lies, in lines 98-99. 137 revenge] Payment of Witt-good's debts will partly compensate for loss of the Widow. Page 194 194 Why ... sir] "Are not debts stronger obligations than a promise of marriage?" 205 Muligrubs] The name of a character in Marston's The Dutch Courtesan, published 1605. As a term meaning "a state of depression", or spleen, or the stomach-ache (OED), the earliest instance noted is in Nashe (1599). Page 195 215 durance] According to John Cowell, The Interpreter (Cambridge, 1607) duress is "a plee used in way of exception, by him that being cast in prison at a mans suite, or otherwise by beating or threats hardly used, sealeth any bond unto him during his restraint. For the lawe holdeth this ... constrained ..." (sig. Aa-i). But Wittgood has only been arrested, not imprisoned; probably he could not plead duress.

EXPLANATORY NOTES

219

Page 197 IV.5 ]Dampit's bedroom, on the morning after IV.4 The song is probably a duet by Audry and the Boy, sung while the bed is being thrust out or while it is being discovered by the drawing of a wall curtain. Apparently the bed-curtains are opened later at Dampit's command (5). 8-10 bound ... Bedstaffes] Evidently Dampit's bed is visibly chained to his strong box (iron chest; see III.4.4-5 and below, 159160). As Sampson notes, these details must have been known, or at least have been believed to be true of a particular usurer. Page 198 28 gernative... mullipood] See the note on 1.4.62. OED conjectures that by gernative Dampit means "addicted to 'girning' or grumbling" (from dialectal girn, to show the teeth, snarl). For mullipood Sampson lists the editors' guesses: "millipede", mullipuff" (puff-ball), "multiple". 32-33 Taverne ... head] Tilley, in A Dictionary, omits this expression for "drunck", but G. L. Apperson cites A Trick in English Proverbs and Proverbial Phrases (New York, 1929). 54 cullisance] Corruption of cognizance. Page 200 115 device] In the legal sense of advice. 124 eiectione firme] Defined by Cowell, Interpreter: "A writ, which lyeth for the Leassee for term of yeares, [who] is cast out before the expiration of his tearme, either by the leassour, or by a straunger" (sig. Bbiv.) John Rastell adds that the lessee recovers his term and his damages. An Exposition of Certaine Difficult... Termes of the Lowes (1607) (sig.Vsv). Page 201 141 Oh ... sir] An apology to Hoord, with whom Lamprey is well acquainted (V.2.21-25), for not recognizing Hoord in a bridegroom's finery. 160-161 O ... ademptum] AeneidIII.658.

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Page 202 V.l] In Lucre's house, at the same time as IV.5. Page 203 V.2] A room in Hoord's house, in the afternoon following IV.5. 8 Exit] Probably the Host does not return to the stage. He nowhere indicates that he has learned the Widow's identity; he probably is still wearing the Widow's livery, though now functioning as Hoord's servant, while he awaits further effort by Witt-good to regain the Widow. Middleton has to suppress the distracting episode of the Host's clamor when he discovers the Widow's identity and the risks to which Witt-good has exposed him. Page 204 19 my wedding dinner] Having been married that morning, Joyce and Witt-good plan to meet and reveal the marriage at Hoord's wedding dinner (98). 30 Lady Foxestone] This Lady is introduced for the purposes of getting the Curtizan off the scene momentarily (37-38) while Onesiphorus arrives, thus increasing the irony, and of adding a third female figure to the wedding party. Page 207 118 Junt] OED defines as "a trick, cheat" and cites this instance as well as Florio's World of Words (1598), in which giunta is defined as "a coosening". Page 208 151 where ... better] For the sophisticates at the private theaters, the comedy's dénouement gained additional zest because it reverses a situation sometimes mentioned by satirists then in vogue : A wealthy old lecher compels his heir to marry the lecher's mistress. For instance, in The Scourge of Villany (1599) Marston describes Tegeran, who "Brags that he foysts his rotten Curtezan / Upon his heire, that must have all his lands: / And them hath joyn'd in Hymens sacred bands" (sig. Ce).

TEXTUAL NOTES

These notes include all substantive editorial changes made in the text of the quarto edition dated 1608, as well as thirty-two stop-press variants. I have collated nine copies of the quarto, out of the fourteen that I know to exist, and have checked twenty-six of the variants in three other copies, namely the Bodleian-Malone 812 ("second issue"), one of the two in the Victoria and Albert Museum, and the Carl H. Pforzheimercopy. Two remaining copies I have not checked, the Eton College and British Museum-Wise; but through the courtesy of Mr. George J. Watson of the University of Aberdeen, I have learned of six variants in the inner forme of quire B found in the Eton copy and of one variant which I had somehow overlooked on signature D-jr of two other copies. Mr. Watson has prepared an edition of A Trick as his thesis at Oxford University. More details concerning the proofreading of the quarto will also be found on pages 217- 219 of my article, "The Early Editions of A Trick to Catch the Old One", The Library, 5th series, XXII (1967). In the notes the edition of 1608 is denoted by Q; the second edition, by 1616. The copies of Q which I cite are identified by the following symbols: Bodi, Bodleian-Malone 797 (earlier title page); Bodz, Bodleian-Malone 812; BMg, British Museum C. 34. d. 42 (Garrick); CSmHh, Henry E. Huntington 62577 (Huth); CSmHk, Huntington K-D 292 (Kemble-Devonshire); MH, Harvard University; NLS, National Library of Scotland; Pf, Carl H. Pforzheimer Library; TxU, University of Texas; VA\, Victoria and Albert Museum 6554/26. Box 33.1; VA%, Victoria and Albert Museum 6554/26. Box 33.2; CtY, Yale University.

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Page 140—141 Dramatis Personae.] The spelling of the names here and in the speech headings is that which study of the text leads me to believe is Middletori's rather than a compositor's. (Compositorial spelling is followed in the stage directions.) Page 142 ACT. 1.] Omitted from Q, but all following act divisions are given in this form or close to it. It has been abbreviated by the compositors; see "The Early Editions", pp. 207-208. There are no scene divisions. Page 145 103 now] no Q. Page 147 43 money:] BMg, Bodu Bod2, CSmHh, CSmHk, CtY, MH, NLS, Pf, TxU, VAU VA2; money Eton. 53 Covy] BMg, Bodu Bod2, CSmHh, CSmHk, CtY, MH, NLS, Pf, TxU, VAU VA2; Cove Eton. Page 148 7 Balsamum] BMg, Bodu Bod2, CSmHn, CSmHk, CtY, NLS, Pf, TxU, VAi, VA2; Balsum Eton.

MH,

Page 150 60 S. d. Manent] Manet Q. 70 Monylove.] Mony. BMg, Bod2, CSmHh, CSmHk, CtY, MH, NLS, Pf, TxU, VAU VA2; Monyt. Bodi. Page 151 33 too;] BMg, Bodly Bod2, CSmHh, CSmHk, CtY, MH, NLS, Pf, TxU, VAi, VA2; too Eton. 39 fellowes ] fellowes, Q. Page 152 62 Fooli-aminy] BMg, Bodx, Bod2, CSmHh, CSmHk, CtY, MH, NLS, Pf, TxU, VAU VA2; Foole-aminy Eton. Page 153 9 penworth] BMg, Bodu Bod2, CSmHh, CSmHn, Ct Y, MH, NLS, Pf, TxU, VAx, VA2; pennorth Eton.

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TEXTUAL NOTES

Page 154 55 faith.] faith, Bodu CSmHh, CSmHk, Ct Y, MH, NLS, Pf, TxU, VAi, faith: BMg, Bod%, VA2. Faith ends the line at the outer margin. I have not examined in hand any copies having the colon which has slipped into the margin. Yet the film copies seem to indicate that the colon (which actually shows only in Bod2 and VA2) was imprinted, not supplied by a pen. 1616 has no punctuation here 62 him ] him, Q. Page 156 113 thinke] BMg, Bodu Bod2, CSmHk, MH, Pf, TxU, VA2; thike CSmHb, CtY, NLS, VAi. 120 Uncle?] Uncle, Q. 140 Why,] 1616; Why Q. Page 157 173 deceaves] decaues BMg, Bod\, Bodi, CSmHh, CSmHk, MH, Pf, TxU, VA2; deceaues NLS, VAi; deceiues 1616.

CtY,

Page 158 200 f r o m ] NLS, VAu f r o BMg, Bodx, Bod2, CSmHh, CtY, MH, Pf, TxU, VA2. 201 cheife] BMg, Bodu Bod2, CSmHk, CtY, MH, Pf, TxU, VA2; chife NLS, VAv

CSmHk, CSmHh,

Page 165 54 S. d. Cock-pit] See the Explanatory Note. 62 Medler] Bodu Bod2, CSmHh, CSmHk, CtY, MH, NLS, Pf, VAU VA2; medler BMg, TxU. Page 166 29 At this point I omit from the text fifteen Q lines which I believe Middleton meant to delete from his MS. They offer an undramatic repetition (as they stand in Q in less vigorous style) of the substance of 5-29; they were the first version. See " T h e Early Editions", pp. 216-217. The lines are these: Witt-good. I know you have beene kinde, how ever now either by wrong report, or false incitement your gentlenesse is injurde, in such a state as this a man cannot want foes. If on the suddaine he begin to rize,

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No man that lives can count his enimyes. You had some intelligence I warrant yee, from an ill-willer. 2. Faith wee heard you brought up a rich widdow sir, and were suddainely to marry her. Witt-good. I, why there it was, I knew twas so, but since you are so wel resolvde of my faith toward you, let me be so much favor'd of you, I beseech you all All. Oh, it shall not need ifaith sir, Witt-good. As to lie still a while, and bury my debts in silence, till I be fully possest of the widdow, for the truth is, I may tell you as my friends All. Oh—o—o—• Page 167 48 sufficient

] sufficient: Q. Page 168

100 bestowd] bestow'd 1616; destowd Bod\, Bod2, CSmHn, CSmHk, CtY, MH, NLS, Pf, VAh VA2; destowp BMg, TxU. Page 169 103 first] Bodu Bod2, CSmHh, CSmHk, CtY, MH, NLS, Pf, VAU VA2; firist BMg, TxU. 107 S. d. Gentlemen] Bodu Bod2, CSmHh, CSmHk, CtY, MH, NLS,Pf, VAU VA2; Gentleman BMg, TxU. 115 come, thou'rt] com e, thou'rt Bodi, Bod2, CSmHn, CSmHn, Ct Y, MH, NLS, Pf, VA\, VA2; com e, thou'rt BMg, TxU. 121 better] Bodu Bodi, CSmHh, CSmHk, CtY, MH, NLS,Pf, VAU VA2; bettre BMg, TxU. Page 170 145 Gentlemen] Bodu Bod2, CSmHh, CSmHk, CtY, MH, NLS, Pf, VAU VA2; Gentlemen BMg. TxU. Page 172 199 not] BMg, Bodu Bod2, CSmHh, CtY, MH, NLS, Pf, TxU, VAi, VA2\ no CSmHk. 207 very] very uery Q.

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225

Page 173 237 S. d. Lucre.] 1616; Lucre? Q. Page 175 32 1.] 3. Q. An error due to foul case or to the compositor's misreading. The s. d. at the beginning of this scene specifies two gentlemen; and at III.1.196 it is "/." who joins the hands of Hoord and the Curtizan. Page 176 53 'Lasse] asse Q. Space between the margin and asse shows the loss of L or failure to print. 63 I, boy, do] Dyce. I bee do \ first state] BMg, Bod\, Bod2, CSmHk, CtY, MH, NLS, Pf TxU, VAh VA2; lie do [second state] CSmH% (and also BM Ashley 1158 and Eton, as I am informed by Mr. George J. Watson). My inference about the direction of change is based only on the corrector's attempt to make sense; the other correction of the outer forme of E (see the Textual Note on III.1.199) is unconnected with this one. The forme was corrected on two occasions. In Middletoris small writing boy could be misread as bee. Page 177 100 thirsts] thrifts Q, 1616. Page 179 34 Audrie] BMg, Bodu Bodz, CSmHh, CSmHk, MH, NLS, Pf, TxU, VAi, VAi\ Audrie CtY. 50 Caverne-fed] Cauerne-/Jed Q; ca-/ uernjed 1616. See the Explanatory Note. Page 181 23 Curtizan.] Dyce; Lu. Q. Editors are agreed that the speech is not Lamprey's. Page 182 52 lands:] lands, Q.

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Page 187 22 afflict] afflect Q. Page 189 5 doest:] doest Q. 7 wise] 1616; wife Q. 30 five serving men] All Q. Page 191 88 yea] yee Q. I have made the same correction at IV.5.30. Page 192 138-139 drawne within] 1616; drawne-within BMg, Bodi, Bod2, CSmH/c, CtY, MH, NLS, TxU, VA2\ drawne, within CSmHh, Pf, VA\. Page 194 205 Muligrubs] BMg, Bod,x Bod2, CSmHk, CtY, MH, NLS, TxU, VAi\ Mulgraves CSmHh, Pf, VAX. See "The Early Editions", pp. 218f. Page 196 252 immoveables] 1616; immoverables Q. 284 some accesse] BM%, Bodi, Bodi, CSmHb, CtY, MH, NLS, Pf, TxU, VAU VA2; some above accesse CSmHk. Page 197 285 S. d. She is above.] BM%, Bodi, Bodi, CSmHh, CtY, MH, NLS, Pf, TxU, VAi, VA2; S. d. omitted CSmHk. 6 Lamprey, Spichcocke] Gentlemen Q. Page 198 28 mullipood] BMt, Bodi, Bod2, CSmHk, CtY, MH, NLS, TxU, VAi, 1616; mullipoop CSmHn, Pf, VA\. 29 concupiscency] BMg, Bodi, Bod2, CSmHk, CtY, MH, NLS, TxU, VA2; concupiscenty CSmHh, Pf, VAv Page 201 136 behold] BMg, Bodu Bod2, CSmHh, Ct Y, MH, NLS, Pf, TxU,

TEXTUAL NOTES

227

VAi, VAr, behole CSmHk. 137 usurer] BMg, Bodx, Bod2, CSmHh, CtY, MH, NLS, Pf, TxU, VAU VA2; usure CSmHk. S. d. (crowded in after line 137) Gulf] BMg, Body, Bod2, CSmHh, CtY, MH, NLS, Pf, TxU, VAi, VAr, Gulfe CSmHk. 143 drawing-in] drawing in Q. Page 202 185 you

Maister] you, Maister Q. Page 205

64 smack] smerck Q, 1616. A mistaking of Middletoris italic " a " and Secretary "c" for Secretary "er" was possible, though not very likely. (The compositor then supplied "c" before "k".) OED offers no instances of "smerck" in the sense of "kiss, taste". 65 Both turne back] Follows line 66 in Q. Page 208 174 tarry,] BMg, Body, CSmHh, TxU, 1616; tarry Bod2, CSmHk, CtY, MH, Pf, VAU VA2. (NLS has an inlaid leaf H2 from 1616.) 182 undooing: Game.] undooing. Game: Q.