Life Histories of Women Panchayat Sarpanches from Haryana, India : From the Margins to the Center [1 ed.] 9781443873833, 9781443873369

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Life Histories of Women Panchayat Sarpanches from Haryana, India

Life Histories of Women Panchayat Sarpanches from Haryana, India: From the Margins to the Center By

Pareena G. Lawrence and Kavita Chakravarty

Life Histories of Women Panchayat Sarpanches from Haryana, India: From the Margins to the Center By Pareena G. Lawrence and Kavita Chakravarty This book first published 2017 Cambridge Scholars Publishing Lady Stephenson Library, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE6 2PA, UK British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library Copyright © 2017 by Pareena G. Lawrence and Kavita Chakravarty All rights for this book reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner. ISBN (10): 1-4438-7336-5 ISBN (13): 978-1-4438-7336-9

DEDICATION

Dedicated to all the women Sarpanches in India who wake up every single day to do the jobs they were elected to do to the best of their abilities despite all the challenges they face.

“I want to fly but they will not let me spread my wings” —A woman Sarpanch from the District of Rohtak referring to her husband and in-laws in the context of doing her job as Sarpanch

CONTENTS Acknowledgments .................................................................................... viii Introduction ................................................................................................. 1 The Importance of Reservation Chapter One ................................................................................................. 8 The Panchayati Raj Institution in India Chapter Two .............................................................................................. 20 The Women of Haryana and Their Life Histories i) Kalobai: A Mother and a Sarpanch .................................................. 28 ii) Kanta Devi: A Reformer at Heart .................................................... 49 iii) Shanti Devi (1): Challenging Life .................................................. 65 iv) Bala Devi: Education Improves Women’s Lives ........................... 75 v) Kamlesh: If I Were the Prime Minister.... ....................................... 89 vi) Shashi Bala: We Got the Toilets Made......................................... 110 vii) Kulpati: Sarpanch is for Educated People ................................... 120 viii) Raj Rani: Motherhood ................................................................ 125 ix) Kishni Devi: Life Lived Simply ................................................... 135 x) Shanti Devi (2): Life is Fine Though............................................. 146 Conclusion ............................................................................................... 158 Appendix ................................................................................................. 167 Glossary ................................................................................................... 171

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I thank the many people who made this project a reality. My undergraduate students at the University of Minnesota, Morris (UMM) and the graduate students at MD University in Haryana, whose idealism and determination kept the fieldwork going for over four years. My colleagues Dr. Jennifer Rothchild and Dr. Christopher Butler were a critical part of the life history project, Dr. Rothchild for helping conceptualize the life history project and both for training students to facilitate participatory action research and conduct the life history research used in this project. Dr. Kavita Chakravarty, my co-researcher, played an integral part in facilitating the logistics and operation of the fieldwork. Dr. Umme Al-Wazedi at Augustana College was instrumental in managing the book project and organizing the stories. The University of Minnesota Grant-in-Aid program, the Imagine Fund, and the Faculty Research Enhancement Fund provided financial support for the research project. Augustana College provided financial support to prepare the manuscript. Last, and most importantly, I thank my family. My parents joyfully hosted the research team in the summer over the four-year period in New Delhi, India. From home-cooked meals to laundry services they were there for us. My husband Todd, a terrific partner, never once complained when I was gone in the summer months for years in a row to conduct field work, leaving him to single parent our two sons and my boys, who think it’s normal for mothers to be gone researching most of the summer. They each gave me the support and unconditional love that enabled me to undertake and complete this project. This book is dedicated to the thousands of women Sarpanches in India who do their jobs every single day to the best of their ability. It was a privilege to get to know 295 women Sarpanches in Haryana. Each woman was inspirational in her own way. Most of them were learning about their roles and responsibilities on the job and were determined not to let this opportunity go to waste. Yes, their road is a hard one with many structural barriers, but did we expect it to be any different? If we had to fight for reservation, we will need to fight for the opportunity to do the job once elected.

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The stories presented in this book narrate the life histories of ten elected women Sarpanches in Haryana. I do not focus on how effective these women are in their role as Sarpanches, what development projects they have undertaken or how they have impacted their Panchayats. The readers can draw their own conclusions as they read their stories, as told by them, instead I focus on the following questions—Who are these women? What are their dreams and aspirations? Why did they choose to run? What has been their experience in this position? And what do they think about the future? Dr. Pareena G. Lawrence Rock Island, IL

INTRODUCTION THE IMPORTANCE OF RESERVATION

Throughout the past century, many countries have adopted the practice of setting aside political positions for members of disadvantaged minority groups. This measure, called reservation, is seen as a means to bridge inequalities among social castes and ethnic groups as well as between men and women. The need for reservation for women is the need for equal or proportional political representation in the form of elected female representatives. There are several rationales for reservation in political participation. First, we must begin by recognizing the need for equality and empowerment of disadvantaged groups, and then we can move on to addressing the ways reservation can achieve these ends. To create a more egalitarian social structure, women must participate in politics. Due to cultural barriers, however, such as religious fundamentalism, women in particular are less able and/or willing to strive overtly for political recognition and rights. Reservation, then, is a vehicle for social justice, the representation of women’s issues and progressive innovation. The case for justice rests fundamentally and simply in that women deserve a proportionally equal voice in governing bodies and other public positions. If women are to be affected by policies in a democracy, they deserve an equal voice in designing and deciding these policies. An equal voice is necessary to secure the equal treatment of women. An equal voice can sometimes be perceived as simply that women be heard by politicians and not necessarily that women assume roles of political power themselves. However, women’s active participation in the political decision-making process guarantees that women’s issues will be addressed. Evelin Hust (2004), in Women’s Empowerment and Political Representation in India, argues the need for a “politics of presence” over a “politics of ideas” because of its effectiveness in transforming women’s concerns and desired initiatives into real change and action. Moreover, female representatives can presumably better understand women’s issues and therefore generate policy effectively.

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Introduction

Beyond what reservation does specifically for women, women’s involvement in politics also introduces new methods for political action and conflict resolution in historically patriarchal political systems of governance dominated by the male voice. In contrast with the male voice, the woman’s voice is often depicted as valuing cooperation, compromise, and communication in political interactions. Reservation, then, can be viewed as a stage for the advancement and transformation of political systems. For reservation to achieve these ends, the following conditions must be satisfied: women and men have distinctly different vested interests, women work actively for women’s interests, and women or other minority groups would be underrepresented without reservation (Duflo 2005). Empirical evidence confirms all of these conditions are met in vast parts of India. It is important here to highlight the last of the three requirements listed above. Without reservation, women would be underrepresented in Indian politics and governance. Because of cultural or political climates and the traditionally subordinate roles women are born into, women are less likely to pursue leadership positions in India. Reservation secures a means for women to overcome these societal barriers. Though these conclusions are derived from assumptions regarding the benefits of an egalitarian society, their derivation is logical and provides a strong case for reservation in currently unequal systems.

The History of Political Reservations in India The dawn of the twentieth century brought the issue of social equality to the forefront of political spheres around the world. The early 1920s brought a wealth of restlessness within the Indian population in particular, and, in response, the British Raj introduced reservations on a large scale for government jobs and university positions. The fierce debate between the two opposing ideologies—traditionalists and progressives—culminated in the Government of India Act in 1935, which reserved 41 seats in provincial legislatures for women. After independence, however, these seats were lost and reservation would not reemerge in India for over 40 years. The leader of India’s independence movement, Mahatma Gandhi, was a firm and vocal supporter of the Panchayat system, or system of local, decentralized government within the states of India. Though he was sure to include it in India’s new constitution, the guidelines were vague and lenient, granting states an abundance of freedom to designate funding and assign power. The Balwantrai Mehta Study Team had a large amount of influence in shaping the current Panchayat system in India as well. The team studied

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community development in India and submitted a report in 1957 recommending a three-tiered system of rural self-government. Many states began to act on this recommendation in 1958. In 1993, the Indian government passed the 73rd amendment to the constitution, which introduced real reservation for women in India. The idea of reserving seats for women was not new in India, and those who argued that women were underrepresented in local government had plenty of support for their argument. For example, from the time the Panchayat system was introduced in Haryana until 1993, only 0.37% of all seats in Gram Panchayats had ever been held by women (Santha 1999, 33). Today within the Panchayat system, there are three tiers of government: the village, the district, and the block. The 73rd amendment brought reservations to the village level, called the Gram Panchayat or village council (along with the district and the block level). At the head of each Gram Panchayat is the president or chairperson referred to as the Sarpanch. The Panchayati Raj Act of 1992 reserved one-third of all Sarpanch positions for women. The adoption of the Panchayati Raj Act followed a struggle between supportive and inhibiting forces. Jawaharlal Nehru, the first prime minister of India, was against reservation for all groups because he believed that India was so far behind the West that the country could not take the efficiency loss that reservations would bring. The idea of women holding positions of power opposed the prevailing cultural climate, and many believed that reserving seats for women would simply result in the emergence of male proxies fulfilling the Sarpanch duties (Santha 1999). However, both former Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi and former minister of women Margaret Alva were strong driving forces behind the 73rd and 74th amendments. Alva believed that gradual reservation would prove women’s capabilities (Jenkins 1998). Gandhi’s and Alva’s efforts were aided by the Manelal Report, a study on reservation in India, which found that while women holding positions through reservation may be a “shade less competent, their first-hand knowledge of community problems compensates for their lack of training” (Upadhyaya 1998, 1061). Along with reservation, the 73rd amendment also granted constitutional status to the Panchayat system and outlined its specific functions and jurisdiction. After its passage, the amendment eventually placed thousands of women in positions of power for the first time. During the first cycle, however, because recruiting women was difficult, few women ran (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 175). Non-governmental organizations (NGOs) quickly stepped in to give leadership training to women in reserved seats, inform

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Introduction

them of their rights and responsibilities as Sarpanches, and aid them to become literate to better perform their duties (Pal 2004). Today, women still face resistance in their pursuit of political positions. Many women are denied offices or salary due to discrimination (Santha 1999). Over the amendment’s short history, studies have revealed both compelling and discouraging results on the amendment’s effectiveness.

Current Literature on the Panchayati Raj Act in India The reservations put into practice by the Panchayati Raj Act have undergone extensive review since their enactment during the early nineties. Researchers have raised critical questions such as: Are reservations effective in empowering women? Do women govern differently than men? What types of problems do women face? Do women have different policy and schematic agendas from men? Are women able to exercise their powers without fear? What are the limiting factors for women in positions of political power? Most of the current literature addressing these and other questions draws upon surveys of men and women representatives in individual states across the country. The results from the research regarding the effectiveness of reservation in India identify several critical issues such as the difficulties women in leadership positions face, the “real” participation of women in these positions, and the positive and negative ramifications of reservation. Analyzing the problems that women face in reserved positions is a key indicator of both the effectiveness of the reservation system as well as the source of ineffectiveness. As a result, reviewing the problems faced by women has been a popular measure in evaluations. B. Devi Prasad and S. Haranath conducted a study in 2004 of 9 Sarpanches [chairpersons or presidents of the village council or Panchayat], 48 ward members, and 68 villagers in the state of Haryana. Their results, drawn from reports by both participants and observers, found the major difficulties faced by female Sarpanches to be the purdah [veil] system, hesitation or apprehension about ability to perform duties, lack of education, lack of awareness about the Panchayat system, and restrictions derived from physical mobility. Prasad and Haranath (2004) also outline the respondents’ views of the positive and negative aspects of reservation. The creation of political space for women, the opportunity to come out into the public and interact, the ability for women to share their problems with women leaders, and the construction of a new social status for women were among the positive outcomes provided by respondents. As negative outcomes, subjects reported that existing leadership did not change with reservation and that

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reservation created a dependency of women on their male relatives. These negative results raise doubts about the real participation of women and, therefore, the real effectiveness of reservation. Nirmala Buch (2000) addresses this question in Women’s Experience in New Panchayats: The Emerging Leadership of Rural Women. Buch interviewed a sample of 1199 representatives, 843 of whom were elected women, in all three tiers in the Panchayat system in three northern Indian states. Though Buch addresses many different issues, including socioeconomic profiles and the development of aspirations and confidence in female representatives, most notable are the results regarding participation. Participation, which Buch defines in this study as Panchayat meeting attendance—weekly time spent doing Panchayat work and ability to carry issues into action—is of crucial importance when evaluating the effectiveness of reservation. Buch found that 65.5% of female representatives regularly attended meetings compared to 88.1% of men. Buch concludes from her research that women who are elected to serve in the Panchayat do show the early development of leadership skills (Buch 2000). Another problem that researchers have identified as a major factor inhibiting the participation of women is the practice of male proxies performing duties for female family members who hold reserved Sarpanch seats. In a smaller study, results from D.P. Singh’s surveys of three village Panchayats in Punjab found that 75% of elected female representatives report proxy participation by their husbands (Singh 2008). Singh’s study also found that only 25% of female representatives surveyed had willingly agreed to contest the election. Hust (2004) visits these problems in her book, Women’s Political Representation and Empowerment in India: A Million Indiras Now. Hust stresses the importance of confidence and consciousness of not only female representatives but of all women. Hust studied the issue of reservation in Orissa, where she found that women were becoming more and more visible in public village meetings and stronger figures in their communities. However, Hust concludes that with respect to empowerment and changing the existing power dynamics between men and women, little headway has been made. She explains that women struggle to realize their personal capacities and still accept their traditional role as being primarily caretakers. According to Hust, though women do attend Panchayat meetings, their husbands largely solve village problems because women cannot be sufficiently relieved from their domestic duties to do so. E. K. Santha (1999) conducted interviews in two districts of each of three Indian states: Haryana, Kerala, and Tamil Nadu. Santha concludes

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Introduction

that reservations alone will not prompt effective participation and that both literacy and political action campaigns need to accompany reservation for it to empower and engage women in the work of the Panchayat. Santha finds that the quality of performance of female representatives is largely dependent on such social factors as literacy, education, and the tradition of social reform movements. In Kerala, for example, Santha concludes that reservation had a positive impact because of the state’s rich tradition of social movements. The ability of women’s political participation to promote empowerment is the key issue in confirming that reservation in India has indeed achieved its goal. Researchers approached this issue in numerous regions and via different questions. Although a clear-cut answer has yet to be retrieved, and perhaps never will be, there appears to be a consensus that though there has been some success with reservation, women still face serious obstacles to achieve real empowerment. The mixed results from different states suggest that reservation has not been received unilaterally into varying cultural and political atmospheres. Both time and further research may expose more comprehensive results.

References Buch, Nirmala. 2000. “Women’s Experience in New Panchayats: The Emerging Leadership of Rural Women.” Centre for Women’s Development Studies, Occasional Paper No. 35. Duflo, Esther. 2005. “Why Political Reservations?” Journal of the European Economic Association 3 (2-3 April-May): 668–78. Ghosh, Ratna and Alok Kumar Pramanik. 2007. Panchayat System in India: Historical, Constitutional and Financial Analysis. New Delhi: Kanishka Publishers, Distributors. Hust, Evelin. 2004. Women’s Political Representation and Empowerment in India: A Million Indiras Now? New Delhi: Manohar Publishers & Distributors. Jenkins, Laura Dudley. 1999. “Competing Inequalities: The Struggle Over Reserved Legislative Seats for Women in India.” International Review of Social History 44: 53–75. Pal, Sarmistha. 2004. “The Effect of Inequality on Growth: Evidence from the Indian States” Review of Development Economics 8: 164–77. Prasad, B. Devi and S. Haranath. 2004. “Participation of Women and Dalits in Gram Panchayat.” Journal of Rural Development 23 (3): 297–318.

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Santha, E. K. 1999. “Political Participation of Women in Panchayati Raj: Haryana, Kerala and Tamil Nadu.” Institute of Social Sciences, New Delhi. Singh, Dr. D.P. 2008. “Impact of 73rd Amendment Act on Women’s Leadership in the Punjab.” International Journal of Rural Studies 15 (1): 1–8. Upadhyaya, K.K. 1998. “The Political Economy of Reservations in Public Jobs in India.” International Journal of Social Economics 25: 1049– 63.

CHAPTER ONE THE PANCHAYATI RAJ INSTITUTION IN INDIA

The Panchayati Raj system is India’s system of rural governance at the local level. Each state is free to run their system as they wish; however, the Fortieth Article of the constitution (1949) mandates that they maintain a system. Most states have a three-tiered structure with village, block, and district level Panchayats. The governing body for the village Panchayat is the Gram Panchayat, a body that is to have regular meetings of the Gram Sabha, which includes all the residents of the village. The Gram Panchayat strives for democracy through transparency in the decision-making process. The Gram Panchayat is headed by the Sarpanch, or village chief/leader, who is directly elected by the villagers. The Sarpanch is responsible for the executive and financial matters in the village (Misra 2004, 33). In addition to the Sarpanch, there are directly elected Panches, who serve as representatives of the people in making village decisions. The Gram Sabha is responsible for monitoring and evaluating the activity of the village Panchayat. The Gram Sabha prioritizes the village’s needs, provides resources for projects, and is also involved in the selection of government beneficiaries in the village (Misra 2004, 17). The village budget is prepared by the Gram Sabha and then approved by the Gram Panchayat (Misra 2004, 50). The Gram Panchayat submits a report of the development work done in the previous year and the work to be done in the forthcoming year to the block level for refinement and approval (Misra 2004, 33). The block level, also called the Taluk or the Samiti, is the intermediate level in the Panchayat system. The block level consists of both directly and indirectly elected officials. The block level serves a supervisory role in respect to the Gram Panchayats, reviewing the Gram Panchayat’s development plans before they are submitted to the district level and making arrangements for development activities. The block level is also responsible for natural disaster relief as well as formulating and implementing development plans of its own (Misra 2004, 37).

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The district level, or Zila Parishad, is the “organic link” between local and state-level governance. The Zila Parishad, consisting of both directly and indirectly elected members, supervises and organizes the activities of the block Panchayats within the district. The Zila Parishad answers to the state government, which may repeal any resolution passed by the district level if it is deemed illegal (Misra 2004, 42,43). The Panchayati Raj system is structured as such to promote democratic decentralization. Panchayat elections encourage people’s participation in local governance and open the avenues of social change. These village level elections are unique in that each voter knows the contestant so there should be no empty promises. The Panchayat elections also promote democracy by serving as a sort of “practice round” for state and national level elections. The Panchayats are seen as vehicles of change. With individual participation in the Panchayati Raj institutions (PRIs), it is hoped individual empowerment will follow. This empowerment takes many forms. Traditionally, the Panchayats have been charged with maintaining agricultural infrastructure (Bandyopadhyay, S. Ghosh, B. Ghosh 2003), but lately they have taken on other tasks as well. The Panchayats are now chiefly concerned with the physical and social development of the village. Although recently amended, the two-child norm further promoted change by stating that an elected official may not have more than two children (Misra 2004, 114). In addition, there is also reservation for scheduled castes and tribes at all levels of the Panchayats.

Creation of the Panchayati Raj System The Panchayati Raj system’s roots date back to ancient times when King Prithu colonized the Doab between the Ganges and Jamuna in western and southwestern Uttar Pradesh, a northern state in India (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 207). Ancient Panchayats were concerned with managing village and agricultural land, educating villagers, and settling quarrels in the villages (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007). These Panchayats were based on land ownership and offered little mobility under a caste and status-based system. In the medieval period, Panchayats received legal recognition in the 1500s under the first Mughal emperor, Akbar (Cordrington 1943). He declared the Panchayats autonomous and gave them taxation and judicial powers (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 209). These Panchayats were similarly concerned with maintaining the village land and peace among villages.

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Chapter One

The precursor to the modern Panchayati Raj system was established in 1857 by the British after a rural rebellion. The purpose of the original system under British rule was to establish an intelligence network so that the British could better control the countryside. There was also a push from the educated elite, who wanted power (Misra 2004, 26). These original Panchayats had no real powers (Misra 2004, 27). In 1870, the Bengal Village Chowkidari Act gave the local Panchayats the responsibility of collecting taxes to maintain local chowkidars [watchmen or guards], and agricultural infrastructure (Bandyopadhyay, S. Ghosh, B. Ghosh 2003). On May 18, 1882, Leed Ripon made his famous resolution in which he advocated empowering the Panchayats. He pushed for decentralization by training Indians in governance—giving them the chance to learn from experience—and by allowing the people to participate in politics (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 210). Unfortunately, the resolution was not successful, but further attempts to empower the Panchayats followed. The Royal Commission on Decentralization (1909) proposed that the Panchayats have a governing body that consists of elected members of the village with due representation for minorities. The Montagu-Chelmsford Report of 1918 foreshadowed reforms to come by recognizing that Panchayat success depends upon local conditions, and thus the responsibilities and powers of the Panchayats must vary accordingly (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 211). All of these recommendations for empowerment took real form in the Government of India Resolution of May 16, 1918. This resolution attempted to revive the Panchayats by promoting an elected majority in local bodies as well as having an elected—rather than nominated—president. The government gave the Panchayats further power by allowing local government to prepare their own budgets, taxes, and assignment of tasks. However, the result of the resolution was “not remarkable.” As Ratna Ghosh and Alok Pramanik said, “No colonial rule can promote decentralization in the real sense” (2007, 212).

Changes in the 1920s and 1930s In 1917, women’s rights organizations formed in India with the help of their British counterparts. This included groups such as the Women’s India Association, All India Women’s Conference, and National Council of Women in India. Around the same time, the independence movement began to gain momentum throughout India as well. Faced with a more restless population, the British Raj decided to introduce reservations on a large scale for government jobs, university positions, and governing

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bodies (Jenkins, 1999); however, the British continued to monopolize the highest posts (Lewis 1962, 66). Even though reservations eventually became law and are still in force today, the idea was fiercely debated for over a decade. The goal of the British Raj was to quell an increasingly restless population, and the end result was a system that gave jobs and positions to members from nearly every religious group and caste. Although “caste” is not recognized under the law and is legally termed “class,” the two are usually the same in practice (Jenkins 1999; Bandyopadhyay, S. Ghosh, B. Ghosh 2003). Much like many other debates over affirmative action policies around the globe, there were two main camps in the Indian debate: traditionalists and progressives. The main argument of the traditionalists was that caste determines one’s role in society and that not everyone is fit to govern. Traditionalists also argued that reservations lead to inefficiency because they prevent a more skilled and qualified candidate from holding the position. It is much more likely that the traditionalists, who were the elite, or the gavki, did not want to lose their grip on power. Progressives argued that, to be fair, all segments of society should be represented and be able to acquire the skills to represent their group successfully. In 1935, the debate culminated in the Government of India Act (GIA), which reserved government and university positions for scheduled classes (SC), scheduled tribes (ST), and other backward classes (OBC). SCs are social groups defined by income, mostly from urban areas; the STs are ethnic-based groups from remote regions of the country; and OBCs include religious minorities such as Muslims and Sikhs. The GIA also reserved 41 seats in provincial legislatures for women, seats they would later lose after independence. However, that reservation amounted to only one seat in each of the provincial legislatures, so although women were represented, they held only a small fraction of the legislative seats and power throughout the country. There is irony in the fact that women received reserved seats because some prominent women’s organizations in the country actually lobbied against it on the grounds that women should run for elections on the same terms as men, and personal identities should not prevail over national interests (Jenkins 1999). But even though women were given a place in the colonial structure of India, their place would erode during the drive towards independence.

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Chapter One

The Independence Movement and Gandhi’s Gift Horse Colonial India was much larger than present-day India and, as a result, had more competing interests than modern India. British India included all of modern-day India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh, and, as a consequence, the Muslim minority was a much larger proportion of the population than it is today. Therefore, the leaders of the independence movement emphasized national unity in their push for independence, pushing aside the concept of the village Panchayat. However, there was still one very vocal and prominent promoter of the Panchayat system: Mahatma Gandhi (Goel 2003, 13). Gandhi believed that “the greater the power to Panchayats, the better for the people” (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 213). Gandhi envisioned an India where the national government received its power from villages, and the Panchayats would have full power to govern themselves (Buch 2000). This goal of gram swaraj, or village self-sufficiency, was not shared by most of the figures of the independence movement. B.R. Ambedkar was opposed to the idea of strong Panchayats because they would create “a sink of localism, a den of ignorance, narrow-mindedness and communalism” (Lele 2001, 4703). Ambedkar only paid lip-service to the concept of village self-sufficiency when drawing up the constitution after independence. When Gandhi discovered this, he insisted upon including Panchayats in Article 40 of the constitution in 1949. The Article decrees that “the state shall take steps to organize village Panchayats and endow them with such powers and authority as may be necessary to enable them to function as units of self-government” (Buch 2000, 2). Article 40 leaves the task of creating and funding the Panchayat system to the states. The vague mandate of the constitution has led to a variety of Panchayat systems throughout the country with different funding sources, and levels of independence and power.

Interpreting and Implementing the Constitution: A Mandate with respect to Panchayats across India With the task of independent designs, the states did not truly reactivate their Panchayati Raj institutions until the recommendations of the Balwantrai Mehta Study Team. The Balwantrai Mehta Study Team (1957) studied the progress and effectiveness of the Community Development and the National Extension programs, which focused on creating independence in the villages and increasing people’s participation (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 41, 42, 47). The study team recommended a three-tier rural government structure and promoted including women in government.

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They recommended that two women be included as Panchayat members in charge of programs for women and children. If the women were not elected, it was recommended that they be appointed (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 219). These broad recommendations were not universally adopted. Most states did not appoint women. However, some states, such as Tamil Nadu, did appoint women if none were elected. Whether elected or not, the women were usually members of the local elite. At some point, all states have had a three-tiered Panchayat system (Santha 1999). More recommendations for reviving the Panchayat system came from the Ashok Mehta Committee (1978). The committee thought the village was too small for effective planning and the block level too large. They recommended that there be a middle level comprised of ten villages to be involved in development work (Misra 2004, 12,13). The committee also recommended open participation of political parties in Panchayat elections (Singh 1994, 819). Women were included in this report as well: it suggested that the two women who got the most votes at the Zila level should be members of the Zila Parishad. Some states made reservations for women on the basis of this recommendation (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 220). However, since the two-tier structure of the Ashok Mehta Committee’s recommendation fundamentally changed state systems instead of merely tinkering with them, most states did not adopt it (Misra 2004, 12, 13).

A Lapse in the System Although the Panchayati Raj system operated throughout India in the 1960s, political, economic, and social concerns prevented the system from functioning properly from the 1970s until the 1990s. Numerous factors contributed to what became a system of administrative decentralization without sufficient powers. Several of these problems continue to inhibit progress in the current system. The constrained relationship between local and state government largely led to the dormancy of the Panchayats during this period, and some of these problems continue today. The state government officials often saw PRIs as a threat to their power. As a result, many higher government officials did not treat Panchayat schemes with the same respect as others. State agencies would often move their most inefficient and incompetent officials to work on the bureaucratic side of the Panchayati Raj system. These bureaucrats were typically against the system and would often have Sarpanches removed if they did not agree with the state’s policy (Singh

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Chapter One

1994). Even today, state governments often issue highly complex rules for the PRIs, making it difficult for local bodies to adhere to them (Misra 2004, 73). There is the problem of flexibility when the Panchayats submit a plan and the State Planning Authority greatly modifies it (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 227). The state further undermines the PRIs by assigning the regional and district level officers much more work than they can feasibly accomplish while supervising the functioning of the Panchayats (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 228). The status of the PRIs was worsened by a lack of regular elections during the period of dormancy. The states saw PRIs as liabilities and thus rarely held elections, leaving the states in complete control of local government (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 73). When elections were scheduled, they were repeatedly postponed for flimsy reasons (Singh 1994). Another problem with the Panchayati Raj system is the federal and state-level programs that parallel the duties of the PRIs. One example is the District Rural Development Agency (DRDA). This agency gives loans and grants for agricultural and social programs that overlap with the duties of the Panchayats, but the DRDA is a federal organization with access to more funding than the Panchayats (Singh 1994). The Panchayats suffer from even more funding problems. The Panchayats receive their funding from the state, which prefers to allocate funding to its own programs (Singh 1994). Also, the application they must prepare for financial assistance makes it difficult for Panchayats to form plans far in advance (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 228). The power of taxation has little real meaning since Panches and Sarpanches do not wish to risk their popularity within the village, and thus most Panchayat funds end up being government grants (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 234). Further compounding the issue, because most elected representatives of the Panchayats are not educated about financial rules, they often do not allocate funds efficiently. There is much wasteful spending due to ignorance or disregard of the rules and a lack of supervision and control by the administrative authorities. Studies found that wasteful spending was more frequent at the block level, while embezzlement and misappropriation of funds is more common in the Gram Panchayats (Misra 2004, 51). These financial issues greatly slow down the effectiveness of the Panchayat Raj system. Corruption is crippling to progress and takes on various forms at all levels of the Panchayati Raj system. Due to a lack of education and training, Panchayat leaders often team up with bureaucrats at the local level. It is not uncommon for a Sarpanch to hold Gram Sabha meetings only on paper

The Panchayati Raj Institution in India

15

and make all of the decisions alone or to choose government beneficiaries from only his or her caste. Corruption is very prominent within Panchayat elections as well. Elite contestants use money, alcohol, and muscle power to win. There have been reports of candidates using a private hired vehicle in order to cast votes in their favor, preventing people from voting, and sometimes smuggling in arms with which to create a disturbance (Misra 2004, 100, 101). Because of these threats, the weaker sections of society are afraid to contest elections. From the 1970s to the 1990s, the Panchayats were run by the gavki. During this period, most people in rural India were economically dependent on the gavki for their income (Lele 2001); as a consequence, most people did not participate in local meetings because their employer and the government were one and the same. Participation is a continuing struggle for the PRIs. Most village members do not identify themselves with the Gram Sabha and many do not even know what it is (Misra 2004, 20). It has been observed that the villagers exhibit “visible apathy” toward Panchayat activities (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 46). The people’s indifference, aided by illiteracy, poverty, and social inequality, leaves a privileged few with decisionmaking power (Goel 2003, 239).

The 73rd Constitutional Amendment and the Debate about Women’s Participation The idea of reserving seats for women is not new in India; women had limited reserved seats in assemblies during colonial rule (Jenkins 1999). However, women were heavily underrepresented in local government in Haryana, from the inception of its Panchayat system in 1966 until the time when the new amendments took effect. Prior to the amendment, women held only 0.37% of all seats in Gram Panchayats, and no woman was ever elected to a seat at the block or district level (Santha 1999). Despite these low participation rates, some still opposed reservations. Jawaharlal Nehru, the first prime minister of India, opposed reservations for all groups because he believed that India was so far behind the West that the country could not take the efficiency loss that reservations would bring. Although he died in 1964, many people continued to use such logic into the 1980s and 1990s when the idea of reservations came to the fore (Upadhyaya 1998). There were also cultural objections to “forcing” women into politics. In some regions of the country, women still observe purdah (Chattopadhyay and Duflo 2004) and must keep themselves covered and out of the public sphere. In those regions, the idea of women holding positions of power challenged the prevailing social norm. Some

16

Chapter One

were also against reservations because they felt that women would simply serve as proxies for their male relatives and that it would be pointless to have a woman serve in the role as an intermediary (Santha 1999). One of the driving forces behind the 73rd amendment was former Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi. Driven by his belief in the system, Gandhi began pushing for a reinvigorated Panchayati Raj system in the early 1980s (Pai 2001). Former central government minister Margaret Alva also pushed for reservation on all levels in the 1980s while she was the minister of women and child development (an arm of the Ministry of Human Resource Development). She believed that gradual reservation would convince people of women’s capabilities (Jenkins 1999). Gandhi and Alva’s cause was aided by the Manelal Report, a study on other reservations in India, which found that while reservation candidates may be a “shade less competent, their first-hand knowledge of community problems compensates for their lack of training” (Upadhyaya 1998). Another paradigm shift was the end of the Cold War and the diminished military threat that accompanied it, which allowed social issues to become more important (Jaquette 1997). The changing world of the early nineties made the idea of women in office more acceptable and contributed to the passage of the 73rd and 74th amendments. The 73rd amendment conferred constitutional status on the Panchayats on April 25, 1993 (Misra 2004, 15). The salient features of the amendment are: 1) Establishment of a Gram Sabha made up of all the eligible voters in the Panchayat area. 2) A three-tiered system of Panchayats at the village, intermediate, and district levels for states with populations over two million. It is up to the states to decide the size of the intermediate block level. Some states are too small to require an intermediate level (Misra 2004, 15, 16). 3) Direct election by the people for all Panchayat members. 4) Members of the Lok Sabha/Rajya Sabha (MP) and State Legislative Assembly (MLA) can be members of the Panchayats with voting rights at the village level, but they may not vote or run to be chairpersons at the intermediate and district levels. 5) Establishment of five-year terms for each Panchayat, with elections to be held by the state. If an institution is dissolved mid-term, an election must be held within six months. 6) Reserved seats for Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes in proportion to their population in the Panchayat area. Reservation of

The Panchayati Raj Institution in India

17

chairperson seats for SC and ST in proportion to their population, with one-third of the seats reserved for SC and ST women. Onethird of seats at all Panchayat levels are reserved for women (Singh 1994, 824). 7) Continuous existence of a Panchayat, with a gap of no longer than six months. 8) An independent Finance Commission that reports to the State Legislature. 9) Local elections conducted by an independent State Election Committee (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 34). 10) Elected officials may not have more than two children (Mishra 2004, 78, 79). The Eleventh Schedule of the constitution lists 29 functions of the Panchayati Raj system, with authority over items such as drinking water, roads, bridges, agriculture, land improvement, animal husbandry, rural electrification, etc. (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 126). After the 73rd amendment was passed, the states were ordered to amend or repeal current laws concerning Panchayati Raj to meet the requirements of the new act. These changes were to be in place within one year from the commencement of the Act. In August 2009, the Government of India approved 50% reservation of women in Panchayati Raj Institutions. Individual states are implementing this new mandate based on their individual timelines (Bhat 2016).

The New Role of Women and Overcoming Inequality The first elections after the commencement of the 73rd amendment placed thousands of women in power for the first time. In the first election cycle, very few women ran voluntarily, and recruiting women was difficult due to a lack of mobility and motivation (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 175). Often, a male family member would force the woman to run as his proxy to fulfill the quota (Narayanan 2003). However, in the most recent election cycle, a number of women ran on their own and won (Misra 2004, 120). As new politicians, these women faced many problems. Often they were not educated about their roles, rights, or responsibilities, nor did they know very much about the functioning of the PRIs. This inexperience took away from female leaders’ authority and decision-making power (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 220). NGOs quickly stepped in to give leadership training to these women, often helping them to become literate so they

18

Chapter One

could better understand their job (Pal 2004). There is resistance to women as politicians. Many women are denied offices or their salary or stipend due to discrimination (Santha 1997). It has also been observed that men dislike women running in unreserved seats and sometimes force these women to withdraw (Misra 2004, 120). Women serve a special role as politicians due to several reasons, one of the most important being that other women and men trust them. Women in the community feel comfortable voicing their concerns to another woman rather than a man. This allows women to have a voice in the community that they did not have before (Raman 2002). Women are also seen as more trustworthy because they are seen as less corrupt and have better attendance records than men (Jaquette 1997). Female leaders play a special role as advocates of social justice, education, family planning, and health (Ghosh and Pramanik 2007, 185). Women continue to grow into their roles in the Indian governance system.

References Bandyopadhyay, D, Saila K. Ghosh, and Buddhadeb Ghosh. 2003. “Dependency versus Autonomy: Identity Crisis of India’s Panchayat.” Economic and Political Weekly 38 (38): 3984–91. Bhat, A.H. 2016. “Challenges before Panchayat Raj in Jammu and Kashmir.” Arts and Social Science Journal 7: 164. doi: 10.4172/21516200.10000164. Buch, Nirmala. 2000. “Women’s Experience in New Panchayats: The Emerging Leadership of Rural Women.” Centre for Women’s Development Studies, Occasional Paper No. 35. Chattopadhyay, Raghabendra, and Esther Duflo. 2004. "Women as Policy Makers: Evidence from a Randomized Policy Experiment in India." Econometrica 72 (5): 1409-43. Cordrington, K. de B. 1943. “Portraits of Akbar, the Great Mughal (15421605).” The Burlington Magazine for Connoisseurs 82 (480): 64–67. Ghosh, Ratna, and Alok Kumar Pramanik. 2007. Panchayat System in India: Historical, Constitutional and Financial Analysis. New Delhi: Kanishka Publishers, Distributors. Goel, S.L, and Shanlini Rajneesh. 2003. Panchayati Raj in India: Theory and Practice. New Delhi: Deep & Deep Publications Pvt. Ltd. Jaquette, Jane S. 1997. “Women in Power: From Tokenism to Critical Mass.” Foreign Policy 108: 23–37.

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Jenkins, Laura Dudley. 1999. “Competing Inequalities: The Struggle over Reserved Legislative Seats for Women in India.” International Review of Social History 44: 53–75. Lele, Medha Kotwal. 2001. “Local Government: Conflict of Interests and Issues of Legitimisation.” Economic and Political Weekly 36 (51): 4702–03. Lewis, Martin D. 1962. The British in India: Imperialism or Trusteeship? Lexington, MA: D.C. Heath and Company. Misra, Suresh, and Rajvir S. Dhaka. 2004. Grassroots Democracy in Action (A Study of Working of PRIs in Haryana). New Delhi: Concept Publishing Company. Narayanan, Pradeep. 2003. "Empowerment through Participation: How Effective is This Approach?" Economic and Political Weekly 38 (25): 2484-2486. Pai, Sudha. 2001. “Social Capital, Panchayats and Grassroots Democracy: Politics of Dalit Assertion in Uttar Pradesh.” Economic and Political Weekly 36 (8): 645–54. Pal, Sarmistha. 2004. “The Effect of Inequality on Growth: Evidence from the Indian States.” Review of Development Economics 8: 164–77. Raman, Vasanthi. 2002. “The Implementation of Quota for Women: The Indian Experience.” Paper presented for workshop, in Jakarta Indonesia, Hosted by IDEA on 25 September 2002. Santha, E. K. 1999. Political Participation of Women in Panchayat Raj: Haryana, Kerala and Tamil Naidu. ISS Occasional Paper Series, 24. New Delhi: Kalapana Printing House. Singh, Hoshiar. 1994. “Constitutional Base for Panchayati Raj in India: The 73rd Amendment Act.” Asian Survey 34 (9): 818–27. Upadhyaya, K.K. 1998. “The Political Economy of Reservations in Public Jobs in India.” International Journal of Social Economics 25 (6/7/8): 1049–63.

CHAPTER TWO THE WOMEN OF HARYANA AND THEIR LIFE HISTORIES

Profile of the State of Haryana Geography Haryana, established in 1966, is a landlocked state in the northern part of India. Its capital is Chandigarh and the state contains 21 different districts. Haryana is surrounded by the states of Uttar Pradesh in the east, Punjab in the west, Himachal Pradesh in the north, and Rajasthan in the south. On the western side is the Union Territory of Delhi. Haryana is also surrounded by natural boundaries, with the Shivalik hills in the north, the river Yamuna in the east, the river Ghaggar in the west, and the Aravalli hills in the south. These hills and rivers cause drastic climate changes between seasons. In the summer Haryana is very hot, and in the winter the temperature drops dramatically. With the exception of a few districts, there is very little rainfall in Haryana. There are two rainy seasons each year: the monsoon season from the middle of June until the end of September and the winter rains from December to February.1

Culture Religion is deeply rooted in Haryana. Today, approximately 87% of the population identifies as Hindu, 5% as Sikh, 7% as Muslim, 0.2% as Jains, and 0.21% identify as Christian.2 The population of Haryana is approximately 25.4 million people according to the 2011 census. Sixty-five percent of the population3 lives in the state’s 7,000 villages and hamlets.4 This is a six-percentage point decline since 2001, indicating increasing urbanization in the state. The people of Haryana continue to place great importance on their caste or sub-caste; it is traditional to marry and socialize within one’s caste. Some women continue to observe purdah, the tradition of covering oneself in front of men, although there is mixed use due to economic advances.5

The Women of Haryana and Their Life Histories

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Women’s freedom in Haryana is dependent upon their social status and caste. The higher Brahmin and Rajput caste women do the grinding, cooking, cleaning, and spinning while remaining within the walls of the family courtyard. Taga and Gujjar women are allowed to leave the home to fetch water, pick cotton, and carry meals to their men. The Jat [dominant ethnic group in Haryana] and Ror [another ethic group] women often weed and do laborious outdoor work.6

Economic Factors In the last two decades rapid industrialization led to a growth of various industries in Haryana. The major industry is carpet, or durri, manufacturing. Other important industries include the production of surgical instruments, electric ovens, electric meters, motorcycles, scooters, hand tools, and tractor equipment. Small-scale manufacturing includes rubber, plastic, furniture, cotton, textile, electronic, and food production.7 Agriculture is of immense importance to Haryana. The state, famous for wheat and milk production, has an irrigation system that puts it ahead of other states in grain production. About 75% of the land in Haryana is arable. While the all-India average of net irrigated area to net sown area is 31.6%, in Haryana it is 79.8%. There are two types of crops grown in Haryana: Kharif [summer crop] and Rabi [winter crop]. The main Kharif crops are sugarcane, groundnuts or peanuts, paddy, and maize. The main Rabi crops are gram, wheat, barley, and oil seeds. Haryana produces an excess of food, which allows it to export to other states or countries.8 The literacy rate in Haryana is 75.5%, according to the 2011 census, a 7.5% point increase from 2001. The male literacy rate is at 84%, and the female literacy rate is at 66%, a 10% point jump since 2001.9 In 2004, the state had five universities and 214 colleges (187 colleges for general education, of which 53 colleges are exclusively for women).10 The remainder are technical and vocational institutes. All evidence indicates that these numbers have more than doubled in the last decade.11 The state has increased its investment in female education and especially for students from scheduled castes and economically weaker sections who attend primary, middle, and high school as they get free uniforms, books, and monetary incentives for completing their education.12

Panchayat System The Panchayati Raj system, the system of local governance in Haryana, was formally established by the Panchayati Raj Act of 1994,

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Chapter Two

coming into effect on April 22, 1994, in accordance with the 73rd amendment to the Indian constitution. The three levels of Panchayats are the district, or Zila Parishad; the intermediate, the block, or Panchayat Samiti; and the village, or Gram Panchayat. The numbers of Panchayats at each level in 2007-10 when our study was conducted are as follows: 19 Zila Parishads, 119 Panchayat Samitis, and 6,187 Gram Panchayats. Computerization of the Panchayat system, both of the records together with the workplace, has occurred at the Zila and Samiti levels but not for the Gram Panchayats.13 The Panchayati Raj institutions prepare and implement annual plans for development. The eligible residents of the village directly elect the Gram Panchayat chairperson, or the Sarpanch. The Gram Sabha, the body of the Gram Panchayat, meets once every six months and approves the budget prepared by the Gram Panchayat, among other tasks. There are no pre-fixed meeting days or special provisions for Ward or Mahila Sabhas. In September of 2006, legislation changed to increase the frequency of meetings to three times a year. The bulk of government staff for the Panchayats belongs to the state government. A junior engineer can be delegated to the Gram Panchayat and Panchayat Samiti. A pump operator, fitter, and part-time fitter can be delegated to work for the Gram Panchayat.14 The Executive Orders given to the Panchayats as areas of responsibility are food and supplies; welfare of scheduled caste and backward classes; Ayurveda; social forestry and farm forestry; health; rural development; agriculture; animal husbandry; power; social defense and security; horticulture; PWD (Public Works Department); education; women and child development; and irrigation. However, mostly these orders exist only on paper.15 In accordance with the Executive Orders, there are the following corresponding departments of the Panchayats: Irrigation, which involves village tube wells and canal maintenance; Food and Supplies, which supervises and reviews the availability of Public Distribution System items and distribution; Public Health; Women and Child Development, which gives an honorarium to anganwadi [a government-run children’s center] workers and helpers; Social Justice and Empowerment, which is concerned with old-age pensions and the survey and selection of beneficiaries for welfare schemes;

The Women of Haryana and Their Life Histories

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Health; Animal Husbandry; Agriculture; and Forest, which establishes a village forest committee wherever there is forestry.16 There were and still are several parallel bodies to the Panchayats. The District Rural Development Agency (DRDA) has many of the same responsibilities but exists separately from the Panchayats. The collector is the chairperson of the DRDA. The Panchayats have finally replaced watershed committees in the villages. In 2005, the government decided to abolish parallel development committees that exist separately from Gram Panchayats.11 The First State Finance Commission was constituted in 1994; its recommendations regarding sharing taxes, duties, fees, and grants were accepted. State control over Panchayats is intensified by the fact that there is no separate district sector or Panchayat window in the state budget. Individual departments within the State Government allocate funds to the Panchayats. The transfer of funds through DRDAs gives the State further control over Panchayats. The total average of funds given to Gram Panchayats is 438,333 rupees annually. The 12th Finance Commission recommended, and the state agreed, to begin transferring funds directly from the consolidated fund to each Panchayat. In fact, on August 4, 2006, it was decided that major funding to the Panchayats would be at the village level. The Sarpanch is authorized to outsource for technical support.11 The State Election Commissioner, an independent authority, holds elections in Haryana. The fourth round of elections was held in 2010. Reservations exist at each level for scheduled castes, backward classes, and women, with one-third reservation for women and reservation proportional to the population for SCs and BCs. Reservations are rotated every five years. In the SC category, the percentage of elected women is higher than in the general category in Haryana. In fact, at all levels, election exceeds required reservation.17 Number of Elected Women18 Gram Panchayat

23,897

36.1%

Panchayat Samiti

962

34%

Zila Parishad

135

35.2%

24

Chapter Two

Importance of Life Histories for Understanding Women’s Lived Experiences This book is part of a larger research project that examines the impact of the 73rd amendment 15 years after its passing by using fieldwork data collected from 2007-09 in the northwestern state of Haryana. The larger project focused on both male and female Sarpanches from two northern Indian states. The goals of the research project were to evaluate the effectiveness of the 73rd amendment by interviewing both male and female Sarpanches and to expand on the current knowledge in the field by looking at a much larger sample size compared to other studies. We also wanted to learn more about elected officials’ background, knowledge of roles and responsibilities, development priorities, and the potential challenges in performing their jobs. The survey data gave us important information and insights into the state of the Panchayat and the impact of the 73rd amendment in Haryana. However, the quantitative data lacked the richness and complexity of the information shared with us by the women who were serving as village Sarpanches. These were strong, complex women who had led extremely difficult lives. We decided to conduct in-depth life histories because these remarkable women’s stories offered deep insights that surveys alone could never capture and adequately express to the larger world. The primary model for this book draws from Jean Davison’s Voices from Mutira: Lives of Rural Gikuyu Women. Our book is also informed by leading texts in related fields. Jennifer Rothchild’s Gender Trouble Makers: Education and Empowerment in Nepal, G. Palanithurai’s Elected Women Representatives and Empowerment, Mini Thakur’s Women Empowerment through Panchayati Raj Institutions, and Surat Singh’s “Empowerment of Women Representatives in Panchayati Raj: A Profile from Haryana” are texts and articles that consider women’s empowerment, and which we recognize as informing the intellectual commitments of this project. Acknowledging the influence of these texts on From the Margins, we nonetheless move beyond the work done by the above writers in significant ways. First, we acknowledge that the women occupying reserved seats in the state of Haryana have been to a large extent unable to establish themselves within the contemporary reality of local politics directly, as Deborah Cummins (2011) argues in “The Problem of Gender Quotas: Women’s Representatives on Timor-Leste’s Suku Councils”. At the same time, these women’s life narratives show a different side; they are exemplars of how household work can empower women. This empowerment is shown through

The Women of Haryana and Their Life Histories

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narratives about work—childhood chores and the kinds of tasks and responsibilities these women took on at different ages growing up. As we examined their childhoods, family chronologies, and their embedded messages, we realized that what ultimately matters is being able to take responsibility and initiative. Second, through these narratives, women talk about their experiences, doubts, and anger without fear of judgment or punishment. They also talk amongst each other and exchange opinions about community values and aspirations. The third way in which this edited collection moves beyond the current scholarship in the field is the most significant: the fluid dynamics of gender that emerges in these life histories (Rothchild 2006, 2015). These narratives reveal how women negotiate their gender status both in their daily lives and over the course of a lifetime, especially once they become Sarpanch. Since gender is socially constructed and dynamic, it can be reshaped by both circumstances and policy interventions. Women do have some agency in crafting and fashioning their roles. Thus, these narratives are potentially rich sources for the exploration of the process of gendered self-identity. The life histories in the following chapters are part of a larger research project of extensive field interviews with individual Sarpanches and villagers in their Panchayats in the states of Haryana and Himachal Pradesh in Northern India conducted from 2007–2009. We randomly selected a total of 958 Sarpanches representing 958 Panchayats. Of the 958 Sarpanches interviewed, 512 were men and 446 were women. Six hundred and fifty four Sarpanches were from Haryana, representing all 21 districts in the state, 295 women and 359 males. Three hundred four Sarpanches were from the state of Himachal, representing 7 of the 12 districts. The ten women selected for the life history project were randomly selected from Haryana to add to the richness of the quantitative data that we had collected from the 446 female Sarpanches. These interviews were conducted in 2009 and early 2010. The life narratives presented here reveal so much more about the identities and the layers of complexities in the lives and experiences of the women interviewed than quantitative data could ever capture. It was important that we share with the world these stories as narrated by these ten brave women, who never intended to be Sarpanches but ended up taking the position because of circumstances.

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Notes 1

National Disaster Risk Reduction Portal. 2017. http://nidm.gov.in/PDF/DP/HARYANA.PDF 2 http://www.census2011.co.in/census/state/haryana.html 3 Ibid 4 http://censusindia.gov.in/Census_Data_2001/Census_data_finder/A_Series/Number_ of_Village.htm 5 http://www.webindia123.com/hariyana/PEOPLE/position.htm 6 http://www.webindia123.com/hariyana/PEOPLE/People1.htm 7 http://www.webindia123.com/Hariyana/ECONOMY/industry.htm 8 http://www.webindia123.com/Hariyana/ECONOMY/agriculture.htm 9 http://www.census2011.co.in/census/state/haryana.html 10 http://www.naac.gov.in/docs/State%20wise%20Analysis%20Report%20of%20 Haryana.pdf 11 http://www.business-standard.com/article/pti-stories/number-of-universities-inharyana-has-increased-to-30-112080800442_1.html 12 http://www.schooleducationharyana.gov.in/RulesNPolicies.html 13 Government of India. Ministry of Panchayati Raj. The State of the Panchayats. Vol. II. 2006. 14 Ibid 15 Ibid 16 Ibid 17 Ibid 18 Election Report on 3rd General Election to Panchayati Raj Institutions in Haryana held in April 2005. http://secharyana.gov.in/html/ELECTION%20REPORTS%20PDF/PANCHAYAT %20REPORT-2005.pdf

References Cummins, Deborah. 2011. “The Problem of Gender Quotas: Women’s Representatives on Timor-Leste’s Suku Councils.” Development in Practice 21 (1): 85–95. Davison, Jean. 1989. Voices from Mutira: Lives of Rural Gikuyu Women. Boulder, CO: Lynne Rienner Publishers. Palanithurai, G. 2012. Elected Women Representatives and Empowerment. New Delhi: Concept Publishers Co. Rothchild, Jennifer. 2015. “Womanhood and Motherhood Renegotiated through International Adoption.” Advances in Gender Research 20: 133-150. Rothchild, Jennifer. 2006. “Gendered Homes and Classrooms: Schooling in Rural Nepal.” Research in Sociology of Education 15: 101-131.

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Rothchild, Jennifer. 2006. Gender Trouble Makers: Education and Empowerment in Nepal. New York, NY: Routledge. Singh, Surat. 2004. “Empowerment of Women Representatives in Panchayati Raj: A Profile from Haryana,” Kurukshetra 52 (10): 130–39. Thakur, Mini. 2010. Women Empowerment through Panchayati Raj Institutions. New Delhi: Concept Publishers Co.

KALOBAI A MOTHER AND A SARPANCH

Kalobai, a widow, shares her life story from the time she was a young girl to a mother. Growing up, she didn’t face much hardship. From her story, one realizes that in India not all girls’ lives are marred by early marriage and hardship. She shares the simple joys of being a girl, having friends, and growing up to accept the family responsibilities as part of life. She gives a romantic twist to her arranged marriage quite humorously. We see in her life as a married woman some definite hardship, but she also points to certain qualities that made her a leader and guided her to run for elections. Although a woman only educated until fourth grade, she was regarded by her in-laws as knowledgeable and a manager of some sorts. She recounts the story of how her in-laws considered her to be the “lucky daughter-in-law” and would ask her to manage the household. Even though she was the youngest daughter-in-law, her father-in-law handed her the keys to the house. When she responded with a comment at a meeting, the male Sarpanch asked where she got “this common sense.” Although she wanted to work on issues related to water and education, she was respectful of the elders: “I have a lot of common sense, but I cannot always use it.” During her office, she had to endure significant petty politics, but she believes she can overturn those politics because she is honest and has faith in God. Her story of her journey from a simple girl to an elected village council chief contains sadness, humor, and a certain urgency.

Early Days: Childhood and Marriage In my childhood, when I was born, I was very dear to my grandparents. My father was the only child of my grandfather. When I was born, my grandparents celebrated my birth. They decorated me like Lord Krishna and brought me up with great love and affection. As I started growing up, my childhood came to pass. I used to play with my friends. I would do the household chores but that was my own wish; there was no pressure on me

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29

because I was dear to my grandparents and parents. I was dear, so when I was capable of going to school, then I went to school. I was very fond of going to school and my father educated me with great pleasure. But at that time, I did not have knowledge about what I could do after studying; I did not have so much knowledge of life. I passed continuously from first to fourth class, but I failed in fifth class. Because of failing in class 5, I did not go to the school again. My family members insisted that I study but I left the school stubbornly. Then I spent my time with my friends playing with dolls and going to the fields. My mother and grandmother used to cut grass, and we would help them by taking the cart to them. We used to mess all the grass up and do other mischievous activities. Then, where there were buffalos, we brought them fodder and threw it at them to eat. I mean, I was very young and lived very happily with my family. As I started growing up, then I did household chores such as preparing chapattis [flat unleavened bread]. Sometimes I made them burn; sometimes I would cook them well. I was a very stubborn person. Nobody could teach me. My mother and my elder sister used to scold me, saying that if I cannot do this work well then I should not do it and they could do it themselves. I would get angry and start preparing food stubbornly. When they would go to the fields, then I would prepare food behind their backs, whether it was kaccha [temporary structure often made with clay or mud] or pucca [permanent structure made of brick or cement]. Then I learned how to stitch. I used to also go to the fields to help, but I kept on stitching myself, and I would do hem-stitching. Then I would also stitch on the machine. I did not go to any center or anywhere else. I learned from my own mind and by myself. There used to be a lot of milk and ghee [clarified butter] at our home. I was the second child for my parents. I had an older sister, and my younger brother was the third child. When I grew up to 17–18 years old, then my father started to think about my marriage. In the search of an alliance, he reached out to relatives in the Sonipat district. I got engaged in the Sonipat district. My husbandto-be was not educated; he was illiterate. I did not have so much knowledge at that time that I should marry an educated boy, or we should get this thing or that thing. I had to respect my parent’s decision. Then my father got me engaged here. After the three years of engagement, the date of our marriage was fixed. I continued to work in fields. I would go to the fields, and after taking the grains we would go to the shop and sometimes somewhere else. Sometimes we would go to the city also. My life has passed very affectionately. When I was in school, we would play badminton. Sometimes friends would get annoyed with each other for one or two days,

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Kalobai

but we could not live without each other. One of my friends was Nirmala, one was Kamlesh Devi, one was Bimla Devi, one was Kartaro Devi, one Sundari Bai, and there were many other friends. All the schoolgirls were my friends. One was my cousin; we lived together. Whenever we went to any marriage, etc., we would all go together. We would live very affectionately. No accidents happened with any of my friends. We all would play together. Dolls or stitching, we are to do this; we are to do that; we are to make dolls, stitch a suit like this; we are to do this and that. Doing all these things our childhood passed by. My older sister was illiterate, but she was very good and simple. I was the naughtiest girl among all. My brothers were also good. My brothers and I would go to school together. My mother was also very simple and nice. In my childhood, my father himself made me the cashier, such as to take care of things and exchanging [money and things, etc.]. When I was approximately 10 to 12 years old, my father assigned this work to me. We would go to the Havan and the Satsang [prayer services]. My father also arranged extra tuition [study time] for us that would go until ten or eleven o’clock at night. In the daytime, we would go to the school; in the night, we would go to the tuition with friends. There was our uncle Vedprakash from our family; he used to teach us. Then we would come back from there and would sleep. Then getting up in the morning and after getting fresh, we would go to the school. When class was going on, we would sit in the class. When class would get off, then I would come back home after going to my friend’s home. When I would go to school, even then we would go together from my friend’s home. When school got off in the evening, even then we would come together. After having food at our home, we used to keep on playing joyfully. My mother was illiterate, very simple. My father was the only child of his parents. We did not have any bua [father’s sister] or any chacha [father’s brother]. No one else is there in my father’s side of the family; he is the only one. We were a total of seven brothers and six sisters. One brother and one sister have died; other than my older sister, all the others are younger than me. When my younger brother was born, who was the third child, he unfortunately passed away, when he was born, then my father brought 10–12 kg laddo [sweet]. I distributed it in the school to announce that my brother is born. All the people were happy. My friends, my grandfather, my uncle, they used to tease me, “Offer us laddo, offer this and offer that, because your brother is born.” Then I grew up and started cooking and stitching. My brother went to work in the fields and then he was married. This was recent, only six to seven years have passed.

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My younger brothers and sister respect me a lot. They have given me a great position. All my brothers are very nice to me, whether bhabhis [brother’s wives] are there or anyone else is there. These are my younger brothers, I used to feed them after giving them baths, and I would send them to school and used to keep them clean. I would keep my house also clean. Now there are beds and sofas but earlier there used to be cots only, chairs were also less. Now there are televisions, earlier there were only radios. We would play the radio. We had our own chopper, tractor, machine; we also had buffalos and cows; I used to milk them. I used to do all the work there. When my grandmother would prepare buttermilk, then I would prepare buttermilk along with her. She took me in her lap. My father and my grandparents also brought me up very affectionately. We used to farm. We had our own land. We would not travel anywhere. We grew sugarcane, grams, and lentils. There was a tube well in our fields and we loved to go there. We used to take baths there. We also had a hand pump at our home. We had six, seven houses and a boundary wall. In that area we had buffalos and tractors also. Our plot was of about a half-acre. We used to play in that area together with the buffalos. There was a hand pump also inside the boundary wall. I used to remain busy in cleaning, etc. I don’t like a dirty house. If there is dirt and the nose of any child is running, I don’t like this. I like cleanliness. Doing these things, no one would stop me. I used to wash all the clothes for my family. My mother used to keep on sitting comfortably. She would not scold me. Once I fought with my sister. [She laughs.] I beat her. Then due to fear that my parents will scold me, I ran away to my uncle’s home. Then my father brought me from there by saying that we will not scold you or say anything. Nobody scolded me; then I came back to my home. I used to do a lot of mischievous activities with my sister. Then when I came to my adulthood, then the first time periods [menstruation] came to me. Then I did not know about it; I guessed from my own mind that this is not good and I took the cloths, etc. Then my friend told me that I should wash this cloth. I did not tell anyone that this was happening. Now children are told about these things; earlier no one said anything; you had to figure it out yourselves or together with your friends. Then we used to go to our own fields. We used to peel the bark off the sugarcanes and suck them. We used to waste a lot of sugarcane, such as we sucked one and threw it then picked up the second and threw it because the fields were our own. We had our own fields. When my brothers grew up, then we did his engagement and then marriage. After his marriage, all the responsibilities of preparing food, etc., fell on me. I was no longer

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allowed to go to the field for bringing grass, etc. On the whole, my grandmother used to do it herself—my mother and grandmother. Then I used to feed my younger brothers and sisters, give them a bath, and keep them clean. When we would go to the city for buying clothes, I would go along with my mother. I would bring my choice of clothes for all. When my brothers would go to the school, I would also go. Our father would teach us in the night. He would ask about accounts, etc., like, “How much is this money, whether it is 5000 or how much is it?” Then we would tell our father. We know how to do calculations. Sometimes we would forget; then our father used to start scolding us, “Why do you go for studying if you learn nothing?” My father raised us very lovingly. He did not let us face any shortage of anything like clothes or footwear. When our grandmother would make fresh hot ghee [clarified butter], she would keep the good food for us using ghee on it. So when we came back from school, she would give us the food after freshly preparing it. Then we would leave after eating. When we would come back from school in the evening, we would go to our grandmother in the cart. My grandmother would put the grass there after cutting it. We would carry it in the cart; after dumping the grass for the animals, we would come back home in the evening. Then after leaving the bullock cart there, we would go play. Nobody would stop us: “Why are you wasting so much time in playing?” and “Do some other work.” Nobody would stop us. They all loved me very much. I would go to my mama’s home [mother’s brother]. There also my maasi [mother’s sister], my nani [mother’s mother], and nana [mother’s father]; all loved me very much. Whatever thing I demanded, they would give me at a time. My grandmother would ask us to count the stars and tell us to imagine things as we looked up at the sky. She would say, “Look at the sky and the clouds in the sky: this is God’s cat; this is a well; this is a road, and that is an airplane, it is flying.” She would tell us stories. When it was time to go to sleep, then we would ask our grandmother to tell us stories. She would have us look at the clouds in the sky and would tell us to use our imagination. She would say, look at that, a dog is tied to that cot, a monkey is tied to a tree, and there is a well here. Our friends used to live near our house. We never paid our attention to the bad things. When we were young, we used to go to the pond and have a bath there. When I came to my adulthood then I hated all these things. These boys and girls hung around naked in the pond and then I hated these things. I would stop them, saying, “Don’t have a bath in the pond, you will drown there.”

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My father was very good. He was the only child. My other grandfather [referring to her grandfather’s brother] had only daughters. Their responsibility was also on my father. My father was responsible for taking care of the entire family. My grandfather himself did not let my father do much work. He was the only child. My grandfather also had brought up my father very affectionately. My other grandfather was the Sarpanch. With him my father would be engaged in maintaining accounts, salespurchases of land, and all the other business, including traveling to the city. When I was young, there used to be bullocks. Early in the morning at four o’clock, my grandfather would go take the bullocks to the farm. Later, my father would go. After doing work for one or two hours, he would come back at nine or ten o’clock. Then my grandfather would do much of the work related to farming. My father would do less work. My father used to maintain accounts, such as he was alone and we, the children, were small. We were many brothers and sisters, and we were small. After that, my father had a tube well installed. Then our income went on increasing from the tube well, and then we bought more land. Then my father also bought the tractor. My father himself would drive the tractor. My father was short. He studied until fourth class. He was of dark color; he was not of fair color; he was not very tall also. My father was working hard and stayed busy farming. But my father started consuming liquor. My grandparents would stop him, saying, “Son, this is not a good thing. We all hate it, please don’t drink it.” I would try and stop him when he would come home after drinking. I did not fear my father. Whatever would be the matter, I would say to his face that you have come after drinking; this is not a good thing. I would try and stop him. My father trusted me and would bring money from the market or somewhere else, and he would give it to me for safekeeping. I would keep it with me. When he needed the money, then he would ask me. You can say that I had become a very responsible member of the family. In this way, my father gave me all this responsibility from my childhood days. When my father went to the fort in Chittor, he bought me a treasure box. He came in the night and gave it to me and said, “Daughter, keep it.” I took it and kept it. When he was to take it, then he would say, “Daughter, give it to me,” and I would give it. When he would go to the city and bring things, then he would say, “Daughter, keep it. I have brought this thing and you distribute it to your brothers and sisters.” My mother did not have much knowledge. My father truly loved me and considered me to be lucky. My family raised me with a lot of affection. I did not face any

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problem in my childhood, and also when I grew up. Whatever amount of money I demanded, my father would give it to me. He would buy me beautiful footwear and nice clothes. My father bought me everything. There were only three teachers in the school: one was from Kamalpur; one was from Badegaon; one teacher was from Karnal. He had big teeth. We were taught by Masters Shersingh and Ramsingh. Our teachers would teach us to play badminton, jumping over the rope, etc. I was good at sports and at making things. But I left school after fifth class because there was a problem, and I did not pass the exam. I stopped going to the school, and I had no desire to continue. I started hating school, and I did not look towards the school again. As I grew up to 17 or 18 years old, then my father thought about my marriage. There were other brothers and sisters; also their marriage was to be done. My father started thinking; then someone told my father that in the Bhakharpur village of the Sonipat district there is a boy; look there. My father came; my grandfather and my other grandfather who was also the Sarpanch came. Three people came. After liking the boy, they fixed my engagement. Then my in-laws came to visit us here. My father-in-law, my mother-in-law, and one other mother-in-law all came. My husband was not educated. I saw him for the first time when we went to a marriage in my maternal village. Our village’s name was Madipur in district Karnal. I was born there. He came to see me. He would go to the shop that sold provisions. It was only a short distance from my house. He had come to my sister-in-law’s house. My sister-in-law said to my husband that she comes to the shop for buying provisions. You would see her here. When I went to the shop for buying provisions, then my body started trembling. I was feeling some fear. He came to see me and he was standing in front of me. I started trembling. I don’t know what was happening to me. There was no talking between us. We had seen each other from afar. He was of dark color. He was of approximately my height. Our match was fine. I did not think that I was to see him. Whether he was good or bad, howsoever he is, whether he is literate or illiterate, I did not say anything. There was a question of respect for us. Whatever parents would do, we were to accept. Our maternal house’s condition was fine. My husband’s family was poor. They possessed only three acres of land and used to farm. We also had land in the village there. Our engagement was fixed and an exchange ceremony was performed. Then I waited three years for my marriage. My father-in-law would visit my maternal home, always bringing gifts. I used to feel very shy; I used to hide. I never came before him. If my mother-inlaw was there, then after greeting her, I would hide. I would not come before them. I used to feel very shy. After three years, the date of the

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marriage was fixed. My father, my aunt, my uncle, and my grandfather went to market for bringing jewelry, etc. All my family members and my mother went. I was given two to three tola of gold [one tola is equal to ten grams]. I had two-and-a-half tola of gold. There was my husband’s ring; my ring was also there. My earrings were made of one tola. Now small earrings are worn, earlier [we] used to wear big ones. Then I had anklets of 10-15 tolas of silver. There were mattresses, clothes, utensils—we brought everything. Earlier, there was no such desire for furniture. Usually an augury [ceremony to bring contentment] was offered in our culture. My sister-in-law went for the augury ceremony to my maternal home. One or two other ladies went, along with some relatives. I was stitching the clothes. I left the stitching and went inside when they came for the augury ceremony. I sat after coming inside. When my marriage was discussed, I used to cry a lot that we will get separated from parents, brothers, and sisters. I used to cry about this, “Oh God! What would happen? What kind of house would it be? Would the family be nice?” I am brought up with great love and affection; that’s why. Augury was performed; then came the date of marriage. Two cars went, one big truck went, and one big carriage. In those vehicles, approximately 50–100 people were there. We prepared the dinner such as vegetables and halva [sweet dish], etc. Then the marriage was performed. There was the marriage of these two brothers together [referring to her husband and his brother]. First the Fere [ritual, part of the wedding ceremony] of the elder brother was performed; later ours was performed. I saw my husband on that day, when he went there after becoming a bridegroom. I looked from inside by a window. Then I got married and we came here. Then my husband told me all the details about coming to see me. He told that he went to the shop at that time. I said that I did not know my groom was coming there to see me. My husband used to do the trolley’s work. Because of his job he did not live at home much. He used to live outside for about one or two weeks. I lived with my husband, my mother-in-law, father-in-law, also the elder sister-in-law who got married along with me, and elder brother-inlaw. I had another elder brother-in-law also but he lived separately and had children already. My husband used to come home after one week and then again he would go. Time started to pass smoothly at my new home. Here also my father-in-law assigned all the responsibilities to me of accounting and exchange, etc. When I came here after marriage, first I did not do any work for about eight days, of preparing food, etc. Family members did not let me do such work. My mother-in-law and father-inlaw said to me that we will give you the responsibility of preparing food,

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etc., after you come back from your maternal home. After one week, I went to my maternal home. Then I came back from there; slowly I took on more responsibility. It is not easy to adjust in a new family. Where is this thing kept, where is that thing kept, how to prepare, how not to prepare? There, in my maternal home, I used to prepare according to my own wish. Here, if it was not prepared well, then I would be scolded. I used to prepare very slowly and carefully due to fear. At first when I was married, then I feared that my husband may beat me, my mother-in-law may scold me, and my father-in-law may scold me. I was brought up very lovingly and affectionately at my father’s home. There I did not face any problem. Then God listened to our prayers and here also I got a good family. On the whole, we were poor, but there was no real problem, no shortage of anything. My husband used to do a job. Even he did not scold me ever about how this vegetable is prepared, how the chapattis [flat unleavened bread] were prepared. I was lucky as I came here fully trained in preparing food and all the other things like dusting, etc., because I did not like to live in dirt. I changed how my family used to live. I started keeping the house and things very clean. When I came here, then the responsibilities of preparing food and accounting, and exchanging things, etc., became mine. Here also, I used to stitch clothes. My mother-in-law and father-in-law would tell me to stay home and stitch the clothes and don’t do work in the fields. I would go less into the fields; my elder sister-in-law used to go there. I used to go to the fields stubbornly as I was fond of going and working in the fields. I was fond of being outside. Sometimes my hand got cut, sometimes my finger got cut, sometimes something else. They used to say that farming is not your cup of tea; you don’t do this because I did not do the fieldwork before. Laborers used to do work there in my maternal home. Neither my mother would do it nor my brothers would do it; the laborers would do it. Only my grandmother would bring grass. We used to cut that grass and give it to the cattle. Here my father-in-law used to do farming. Gradually I gained all the knowledge about farming. Earlier I used to say to them, “Let’s go to the fields.” I was very fond of going to the fields. I also liked to stitch clothes such as frocks for the children, etc. I used to stitch the clothes and then would go to the fields; I would do all the things. Then family members would go outside. When they would come back, then to feed them, to prepare food, to change their clothes, etc. I served them well. When I came here, just after 15 days my mother-in-law and father-inlaw assigned me the responsibility of house. The management of money was given to me also. They had given it to me. Such as when I was at my maternal home then it was said there that this girl is lucky for us. When I

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came here, then my in-laws also used to say the lucky daughter-in-law has come to our home. Gradually, our household income started increasing. Earlier, we were poor but then our income started growing rapidly. Due to that reason my family members would give me more responsibilities. I also had knowledge of good and bad, such as if someone would speak wrong, then I would feel I must correct them. Whatever I would need to say, I was very careful. Whatever was to be exchanged or transacted, I did it very wisely and carefully. As we were growing toward prosperity, I loved to share our prosperity. When my sister-in-law would come, I would bring her a suit. If someone else visited, I bought things for them also. I don’t have bad feelings in my heart. Such as it is said that body is small, but heart is not small. I have a big heart; although we started out poor, we were never envious of others. We did not feel jealous of anyone that they were eating good food and I am getting less, that they are wearing good clothes and jewelry and I am not wearing good clothes and jewelry. I had seven brothers but one of them has passed away. I was married when he died. There was a drought in the village during the rice-growing season. There was no electricity on that day. My brother was a hardworking farmer. He came home from the farm for lunch that day and as he was returning to go back to the farm, it started to rain. There was rain, thunder, etc.; then electricity also came back. My elder brother said that he should not go into the fields today. “It is raining, why would you go there?” The brother that died replied, “No, brother, we had taken four tractors on lease. I need to go to the big tube well.” The big tube well was installed by my father; we used to call it the big tube well. My brother went there. My elder brother was headed out to meet him at the big tube well when one of the men who lived in the village met him in front of the gate and told him that our brother had been electrocuted. All my bhabhis [brothers’ wives] and my mother were sitting inside. Then all my seven bhabhis ran and all the children also. Then they took his body to the hospital and the doctors said that he was no more. We massaged his body at home but he was no more. We cremated him in the evening. Our brother who died was married; he had three children; they were all young. Our brother was young, younger than all. I mean he was the sixth child. He was younger than two sisters and three brothers. He had a seven-year-old boy and a five-year-old girl and one three-year-old son. Now it is the mercy of God that these children are now grownups. The elder son is 17 years old; the daughter is 16 and the younger son is 12–13 years old. My parents have since also died. My four brothers were unmarried when my father passed away. My brother has borne all the responsibilities, and he has been bearing them until now. He got the other four brothers married.

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I am a girl from a very rich family. Even though there was poverty here, even then, I have borne it very easily, laughingly. I did not feel sad that I belonged to a very rich family and why did I come to a poor family after marriage. No, I never thought like that. I very easily accepted and bore it. Now I am a very important member of this family. Since I was married here, there were many problems here, such that our grain would not last us very long. Sometimes tea also could not be prepared. I mean, we were very poor. We used to sow crops in the fields, but the fields were very small and there was very little money generated from the crops. In my maternal home, we had more land and we were wealthy. Here my father-in-law has to repay his debt also. I mean, we lived together for ten years in my paternal home. My elder sister-in-law was also with me. Even until now, ours is a single home. Look at that [points to the front room]. She is elder sister-in-law, and I am younger. I also have a younger sisterin-law. When she grew up then we got her engaged and married. All the responsibility for her marriage was on me such as getting the jewelry made, buying the clothes, etc. They did not prefer my older sister-in-law to be involved in any of these transactions. She did not have so much knowledge; all the responsibility of the girl’s marriage was on me, all the exchange, etc. In my paternal family, my father-in-law and others were three brothers and I was the youngest, but they used to treat me as the eldest member. They used to keep me ahead in any marriage, any happy or sad event. They used to say that you are to do all the works like offer tea to guests, offer food, purchasing/exchanging things; all these responsibilities are on your head. I bore all the responsibilities very easily. Then my son was born. After one year of marriage, I did not have my menstruation. My mother-in-law was at home; she knew her daughter-in-law was pregnant. In this way, we came to know that I was pregnant. Then when she would prepare food, rice, etc., for me, then I would vomit. Due to this reason I came to know that I must be pregnant. Then, gradually, days were passing so my grandmother used to send me ghee [clarified butter], etc. She used to feed me really well. She said that you are to deliver the child here [in my maternal home]. I said, “No, Mother.” I did not speak much in front of her before; I used to feel shy. I said, “No, I will not deliver here. I will deliver the child at my in-laws’ family.” Then my son was born. My mother-in-law was gone to the field; my father-in-law and all others were gone to the field. There was pain in my stomach. My husband was also not there. He came in the evening. Then my mother-in-law came and said, “Daughter, what is the matter?” I told her that I was ready to deliver. Then she called the midwife and the doctor. At 6–7 o’clock, my son was born.

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All were happy; happiness has come to us after 20 years. The child was born; happiness had come. My father-in-law was very happy. My neighbors and my in-laws were also happy, my parents also very happy. Then after 15 days, my mother came. They brought clothes for their sonin-law, for children, for in-laws, and for all. My elder brother-in-law, he was separate and lived in another village. He lived in Panchi. He did not have an understanding with my in-laws. My brother-in-law used to fight with everyone. After fighting with his father and brothers also, he used to take grain from here. After fighting, he took away the provisions and he did not want to give the share from his earnings. He would take away the share from here. We don't have much of a relationship with him. I am blessed to have the love of my in-laws, my elder sister-in-law, and brother-in-law. By God’s grace, I have been blessed with the family I have. My mother-in-law works in the fields; she does not do the domestic chores. She has never scolded me, “Daughter, you prepared this thing kachi [not properly baked or cooked] or you have not prepared this today.” No, my mother-in-law never says things like that. She would give us all the things readily. She probably does not love her son as much as she loves me. My husband used to live outside of our village. Whenever he would come for one day, they used to love him too. He spent his life outside, however. Now he has passed away. He used to do a private job. Because he was not home, I started to take on more responsibility. When my sisterin-law got married…my in-laws would say that whatever is to be done will be done by her. Then I would say that, “Mother, this thing is to be bought.” Then she would say to buy it: “Whatever you want to buy, we don’t deny it.” While doing all these things, there was a daughter of my other father-in-law [referring to her husband’s uncle]; her husband fell ill. He had cancer. In illness, after three years of marriage, he died. They had small children. To look after them, etc., all the responsibilities fell on my family members. Such as my husband was on a job so we got them grain. For the children’s studies, I would give them clothes after stitching them at home. One of the children passed tenth class; then he said that he wanted to study further. Ours was one family and we never differentiated. Then he started studying further. After the birth of my first son, three years, a daughter was born. After three years of that, a son was born, and after three years again, another son was born. I have one daughter and three sons. In his childhood, the elder one did a lot of mischievous activities. I don’t know whether he was suffering from any problem or anything else;

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now he is very fine. He did a lot of mischievous activities in his childhood. He would beat his grandfather; he would beat me also. He did not beat his father. Then there was a daughter born second. She was also very fine. She was healthy and round-faced. She looked very lovely to all, to her grandfather and grandmother also. She used to live with them. Then the third child, a son, was born. When the children grew up, we put them in school. My husband used to do his job outside. Earlier, there were only government schools here and no private schools. The oldest son had no desire to study, and I tried very hard to make him study. The school in the village was up to the fifth class only. My son stopped after fifth class; my daughter and the other two sons who were small, we sent them to another village. The third son stopped after seventh class. That who was the youngest, he studied. He finished his 12th after completing his 10th class. We got him educated a lot. My daughter kept on fighting with me to get an education. I said that, “Daughter, see if other girls go to the school, then you can also go. How can I send you away alone?” Here the school was not near. It was in Gannor or Pattikalyana. She, the girl, even now says, “Mother, if you had let me study, then I also would have stood on my own feet. I was capable of studying and you did not let me study.” Those who were not capable of studying, you got them educated [my daughter said about her brothers]. She even now quarrels with me. Now she has opened a provisionary shop and she does stitching. She is doing a very good job. She doesn’t work in the fields. My son has grown up and has started to learn mistri’s work [a person who builds houses, etc.]. He wanted to learn mistri’s work himself after studying up to fifth class. He did not take advice from us. His father lived outside. I, my elder brother-in-law, my father-in-law would do all the work. Our mother-in-law used to live at home when my children were born. They would do their fieldwork themselves. Children did not do any of the fieldwork. My oldest son got a job and whatever little salary was there, whatever money he would get, he would give it to me. Then we started to think about his marriage. His father and I, we went to see the girl [daughter-in-law]; then they came to see the boy [my son]. They gave a rupee to my son as a good omen. Then he was married. First I got my daughter married. Then the son was married. When she [the daughter] was 20 years old, then I got her married; she was fully grown up and after marriage she started belonging to the home [of her in-laws]. My responsibility was lessened to some extent. The son’s marriage was done later; we started finding a match for him, then he was married. My husband remained busy in his own work. His father used to rear buffalo. I had three or four milking buffalo. Then I used to do their work

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also, the work of feeding them, etc. I have passed my life very easily by doing hard work. My husband’s father also used to do hard work. I used to work at home as I had four buffalos. I had to take the buffalos to the pond and bathe them; in addition, I used to do the fieldwork also. We used to bring the buffalos back in the evening and we used to have bales of grass on our head. I did a lot of hard work; I mean I milked 20 kilos of milk in a day. My life is spent very easily. Now there was the responsibility of children; only one child was left. Then my father in-law and my husband’s death took place within a year. My husband died of a heart attack and his father died because of poor health. I have grief in my heart. Problems usually come but only some people have the courage to face them.

Lady’s Seat and a Reluctant Run After nine months, the Panchayat elections came upon the village and we found out that this time we had a reserved seat for a lady Sarpanch. Many villagers were contesting, as many as eight to nine people. I did not know much about these things; running for Panchayat presidentship was not something I ever thought about. I did not think anything of it. I did not have any interest in politics. I was fond of doing good works, such as in Satsang [religious gatherings], to understand the poor people’s problem— why they were suffering from the problem. I always say, Oh God! Give peace and prosperity to all so that their time may pass very smoothly. But now a lady’s number came in for the presidentship. There were family members from my in-laws’ side of the family who were interested in running but among them no lady had the knowledge about the job of a Panchayat president so the family thought we should try. I laughed it off and did not believe they were serious. Later, family members [in a broader sense] came to our home and said that it is the lady’s number this time and we should get your form filled out for presidentship. I clenched my fist and said that God has snatched my support [husband]; he has slapped me, and I could no longer bear to be in the common man’s shoes. No, my life was passing smoothly; any trouble that I may have to face I would face it, but I would not do the presidentship. I kept on saying this and they filled my form and insisted that I sign it. I signed the form but from morning to night I would pray, oh my God! May I lose the elections. I used to pray to God from morning to evening that I would lose. But God was to take service from me. There were three contestants and me. Then the third contestant merged with one of the parties, leaving two contestants that represented two parties and me. I was hopeful that I would lose. I don’t have any happiness in winning. I

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was happy in losing. But God wanted this and he offered me to do this service as I won the election. When I heard I had won, at first, my body started trembling. How would I bear this responsibility? I have domestic responsibilities too. How could I do it all? How do I decide what to do and what not to do? People would give me advice and say that this work was to be done like this or like that; I did not listen to anyone. Well, I did listen to everyone but did work according to my own wish and judgment. What work to undertake was based on my prior knowledge; take, for example, the problem of water. First of all, when this Panchayati land was given on lease, I solved the problem of water connection and availability. There were children in the school who were hungry and weak. Then I increased the nourishment and strength of children in school by saying to the teacher that food is available for children in school and it must be provided to them. Earlier, I did not have so much knowledge. When I was to talk to the officers then I used to feel afraid. When I went ahead for one or two times then I learned to speak very easily. I worked according to my own beliefs. I did not listen to others who wanted certain things done. There were Panches in the Panchayat and we would organize the meeting of Gram Sabha. At first things went smoothly; then certain people started putting some obstacles in the meeting and my work because they were worried about the progress I was making. They were worried that I might win a future election as well. They created a lot of trouble for me and I faced that trouble and survived. There was nothing wrong in my heart because I did not do anything dishonestly. I did not cheat anyone. Whatsoever work I was doing, it was being done well. In my first year, I solved the problem of water availability. Then during the next year, we gave that Panchayat land on lease, in which we installed tube wells, which generated revenue for us that we could use for other projects. Then I solved the problem of water for the fields. The water pressure was really weak so we had the pipelines expanded and connected them to a better source. Then when the MLA sir [state legislator] came for a visit to the village, I said to him that I did not want anything else except to solve the problem of the poor people who are eligible for the BPL [Below Poverty Line] card, that their BPL card should be issued. That was also solved. So when the second year started, I did the work on the tube wells, got the streets constructed, and did other projects. We also received grants. Earlier grants were not received. I got these three buildings constructed. One room in anganwadi, one chaupal [traditional meeting place of the Panchayat], and one Ranbir Sadan [a place to assemble and/or

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stay]. The last one just got constructed now. We got the streets constructed, solved the water problem. I helped the poor people. During one year, I gifted blankets to the widows from my own money. I also gifted the shawls to the widows. During the second year, I gifted school dresses to the children from my own money, from my honest earnings. These were not donated using any of the Panchayat’s money. I distributed those things from my own money. Every year I organize the bhandara [free food distributed to all those who attend as part of a religious ceremony] also. If the poor people have trouble, such as they don’t have clothes, then I arrange for that. I am devoted to poor people. I worked on getting them their BPL [Below Poverty Line] cards issued. I understand the problems we have with the lack of electricity at home; also many villagers have very small plots. This is their plot; this is their house; this is their chulha [clay stove]; these are the cattle tied. [She points out by her hand that they have to manage all these things in a very small space.] A living cannot be made here in the villages without cattle. So they did not have space, and I tried to apply for plots for them. So far I have gotten 152 registries made—152 already done and 40 more are in progress; you can say that I have ordered for 200 plots. One hundred and fifty-two plots are registered and to the rest of the people I have given them the numbers. There was no time to do an inauguration ceremony for the plots as it was time of harvesting the grains. I did not get time because of that. I demanded the time from the DC [District Commissioner] and he said that we would do it but then it was not possible. Then I also got the park constructed there. There I also got the roads constructed; there, you must have come from that road [she says to the life history collector]. All these roads have been recently constructed. I have given numbers also for the plots. Now their ownership needs to be handed out. The BDO [Block Development Officer] sir said that I should fill the foundation of the 50 plots and he would help get them constructed. They [laborers] dug the foundation. Then someone did something wrong so that I would be blamed for that, and that delayed the project. Now when people are ready, now our time has passed. Will I fight the elections again? It is the matter of destiny as I was saying earlier. Who knows? Villagers are saying that you put your name in on the ballot. I said, “No, I did not put my name in yet. Right now, I can’t say yes. When the time arrives, I will do whatever you want me to do.” I help the poor a lot. Now I only wish that if we could give plots to the poor and get the houses constructed, my prayers will be answered. Also, we had some problems receiving pensions. Seven pension applications came last year so I got them made. Then 12 came this year and I got all those 12

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passed. These are widow and old-age pensions. Now there are 10–15 other new applicants also. In my point of view, with God’s grace they would also get passed. If they don’t come in this month, then they would come in the next month. I wanted to serve the poor people. If by the God’s grace I again become Sarpanch, then it is my great desire to do something about the plots and houses of poor people. I will do that also after getting the loan passed from the government. I have a lot of works to do in the future. My presidentship has been overall fine. I ran it well in my viewpoint. Such as if somebody gave me trouble, then I kept on moving forward while managing the problem. It was just that had my son’s father [her husband] been alive, then I would not have had any problem. When I would go to the office in meetings, etc., then I go myself. So officials said to my son, “Don’t give trouble to your mother; you come yourself. You get the work done related to the tehsil [an administrative division representing a subdistrict], or patwari [a government appointed village level official who maintains and updates land ownership records], etc., and your mother will do the work at home.” So I do the household work only and he [son] gets the work done himself. But slowly I did start doing more. We did the boundary of the pond. We got this street constructed; it was broken down. We got it repaired. There is no problem with water now. I wish further that if we win again, then we would fulfill the desires of poor people. Do I see a change after becoming Sarpanch? Yes, to some extent it has changed and to some extent not changed. I just want to serve the poor people. Such as earlier we would sow only some fields, but now people give us more and more land on lease. When someone comes, from morning to evening I keep sitting and talking to them. If I wish, sometimes I help in doing some housework also. I don’t prepare food. I get up in the morning according to my own wish and I go to bed according to my own wish. There is no pressure on me, neither from my daughters-in-law nor from my children. When children go to sleep, I usually keep on waking up. I usually sleep at 10–11 p.m. My daughters-in-law are also good; my sister-in-law is also good. My whole family is good. And my sisters-in-law and mothers-in-law from the village love me as a mother loves. No one talks rudely to me, and those who are drunkards, they will feel jealous. Some are happy with my work and some are just jealous. I can’t help it. After becoming a Sarpanch, I felt that the best thing is that the Sarpanch should serve the poor people and do the development of the village. Give good advice to the children about education. Do the good works. Those who established the liquor shop, etc., that I feel very angry about. I, myself, go to the office. I, myself, go to the Block Development

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Office together with my son. When there are other works related to the block, etc., then just my son goes, but the rest of the important work I do myself. I have knowledge about all the works that this work is good work and it must be done. Anyone else doesn’t know that when this work is done, how it was done and how it was not done. So I do works myself. It is my own responsibility. Earlier, there were domestic responsibilities and I have had responsibilities from my childhood days. When someone comes, then I say, “What will you make me understand?” I was very small since then all the responsibilities were on me such as transactions and exchanging things and to go and come somewhere; I have all this knowledge already. Now, what do you say? They, who had elected me, would say that you should go with our advice so that I may not come forward. I did not listen to them, nor did I listen to the Panches. Such as Panches would say that this room has been constructed in the Panchayat Ghar; get the garbage around it picked up. I said that I can’t do this work. If the people have actual space for throwing garbage, why would they throw it on the road or the courtyard? Now I had thought that we should provide them with pits of 30x30 square feet. There they can throw garbage and can make dung cakes or anything else. It was my desire that they [the poor] may get plots and I distribute the registries with my own hands so that this problem can be solved. I am feeling somewhat bad because had I had some more time, then all the uncompleted works would have been finished. But I am still very happy. There are three lady Panches and four are gents. Two of the gents come and two don’t come. Earlier all used to come. Now we are having some problems with them, which is why the BPL [Below Poverty Line] cards have not been issued. Why is the registry for our plots not made? These men are drunkards. Among the ladies, one is Bhagwanti; one is Darshama Devi; one is Bala Devi. The gent Panches inflamed the lady Panches also. They drew all the members onto their side. They dragged all the members. I got hurt. I did not know that they were making their separate committees. One woman Panch was illiterate. The other, who was literate, Bhagwanti, had signed with them. One was illiterate but she knew that what they were doing that day was not fair. She is a lady and a widow, like me. It is so easy to hurt others. If there is some issue with me, then they should come to me and point it out and tell me what I did wrong. Talk to me directly. But if you are going to the DC [District Commissioner] office and writing the application [against the Sarpanch], this is not good. This is just bad. And they [Panches] submitted the application against me so that the presidentship would go to one of them [other Panches]. I also replied immediately about this to sir, to ask the Panches what is my

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shortcoming. Then after giving the reply, they started repenting. But I said what is the use of crying over the spilled milk? Repenting is for when the crop is alive. You have destroyed the crop and what will you do now after repenting? Now you don’t have presidentship too. They thought that what was happening in another village was happening here too, such as there is a scam in the works done and that I have done the scam in using grants, etc., and they have been suspended too [those who did the scams in another village]. I said submit the application against me with great pleasure. If any shortcoming or problem would be found in me, only then would I be suspended. No shortcomings or problems were found in me. Then they all came to repent. Recently also they all came again. I said that your faces are down but not mine. The villagers say that I am the Sarpanch now and I will become the Sarpanch in the future also. All say this. In the future she will become and no one else. She will be our future Sarpanch. They also say this when I am not there, that she did a lot of works and other Sarpanches did not do. What works were not done by the males, the ladies proved themselves by doing them. They further say, all the villagers say, that so much work has not been done anywhere else as has been done in this village. Now we have started building the boundary in school. We have started the NREGA [National Rural Employment Guarantee Act] work also. The people have got the one hundred days’ work now. Some have done less and some have done work for more than one hundred days. They have done double work such as there were family members; the whole family together has done the work. If it had not been cropping time, then all my works would have been completed. Then those who were the laborers, they got engaged in farm work. If not, they would have been filling in the plots; they would have been filling sand. Now I will go tomorrow or the day after tomorrow to meet the DC [District Commissioner]. I will take an appointment from the DC that, sir, you finish this work. I will get it done from your hands so that the future officials may not take advantage of this. In fact, he will also take credit for who actually did this work. God will let him know who did this work. They cannot say that we have not gotten work done. My works are being done but I am sad that I should have got the inauguration also done. Then it would have been fine. Is there any change in girls’ lives? Yes, there has come a change such as in education, in games, and boys are not doing so much as the girls are doing. But society still prefers boys to girls and you hear of women dropping their girl child or having an operation [tubal ligation]. I have my own four granddaughters of one son. He has one son and four daughters. Once my daughter-in-law said to me that she has too many daughters and

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is afraid of getting pregnant again and is considering getting an operation. I said, “Pick up your luggage and live in your maternal home. When I neither believe in this kind of thought nor believe in getting this done, then why have you fallen in such thoughts?” The children say about education, “Mother, we will do this work. We will become this after growing up.” Now I have a granddaughter, she is the daughter of my elder son. She says, “Mother, I will become a nurse after growing up. When you are sick, I will give you medication and injection. I will make you fine.” I say, “Daughter, you focus and study.” Children have their own sense in education. If they have good sense, then they do something good with it. I say to my children, grandsons, and daughters-in-law from morning to evening that they should go toward goodness; step forward. Don’t step forward toward evil. I have three sons. These three are mine and the other three are my elder brother-in-law’s sons. None of us consumes liquor, etc. Their life is also passing nicely. There is a change in society also such as to educate the children; people have become wiser. They have started to live more hygienic lives, to have good food, to keep the children clean. It is better than earlier. They are progressing. Those who are drunkards, it is impossible for them to improve. They cannot reform their homes either; they do not let their family members live in peace. Their poor families are in grief. Those who don’t consume liquor, etc., their families are running smoothly compared to those that drink. On a free day I will start reading a book. I don’t sit free because usually a friend comes by or I have several Satsang [prayer service] books, there are good teachings, or it is about Panchayat, I spend my free time reading them. All my hobbies are fine, what else is to be done by taking up new hobbies? If I get angry about something and I dump it on others, then I make things worse. Sometimes I get tensed up for something; then I talked loudly to my daughter-in-law and then I feel terrible. If my daughters-inlaw get annoyed, then I have to make them happy. Earlier I rarely got angry. I mean I used to talk very lovingly to all. I do get angrier now. If I did get angry before, then I don’t remember it now. The happiest moment of my life that I can remember is when my husband came and he brought a tractor. We had all the assets now. I started getting some rest from doing farm work and we had more food at home. On the whole, I have had a good life. My family, both my maternal home and my husband’s family loves me. My brothers and bhabhis give me a lot of respect. Oh God! Thank you. Give this type of brothers and

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sisters to all. Give this kind of children to all as you have given to me. I only pray this. During the next one year, I only pray that our time may pass very happily and peacefully. If we get presidentship then also it is fine; otherwise I will stay with the children, at home with them. My friends are like my sisters. They made me Sarpanch. My friends encouraged me. If there is any problem that I have, they all get to stand together with me. They say that we are with you. I do not panic. Yesterday I went to a household; the woman’s husband had died. I said, “Sister, look here. I am also like you.” After sitting for some time, talking to her about the future, the day passed. Later, I said to her that you keep on sitting the whole day with me. Sit with someone else also. She started saying that people would say that they [she and I] are walking together. I said, “Why fear from people? If there is a fear, that is of God. There is a fear of God; there is no fear of man. What can a man do? He is the worker. He may give us grief, happiness, trouble. He is to do everything and we are to bear it. How are we to face this, we need to think about that. Encouragement is given by God to bear our burden in life.” Such as during the first year of my presidentship, so many troubles came to all my three sons in the three months only God knows or his works know. I have left this to God. Only he [God] gives me wisdom. No one else teaches me, no one else. I did not do my work with the help of anyone’s teachings. I have trust only in God. After sitting, if male Sarpanches say something wrong, then I give them my reply, and they say that they have no idea where I get my wisdom and sense from. I do have a lot of common sense. I don’t want to show my wisdom to others but use it to do my work.

KANTA DEVI A REFORMER AT HEART

Educated up to the tenth class, the articulate Kanta Devi lived a not-sotypical life in Shahpur. She not only went to school but also had hobbies and participated in activities. She was influenced by her teachers, particularly one woman named Shanti Rathi. Kanta Devi used to sing freedom songs during the assembly in school. Although class conscious, she presents a democratic fervor when talking about the lower-class people. After becoming a Sarpanch, she developed roads and installed hand pumps. A firm believer in respecting her elders, Kanta Devi loves to serve the people.

Early Days: Childhood and Marriage My name is Kanta Devi. I was born in village Shahpur. We used to do the domestic chores in my childhood days. When I was six years old, I started studying. I studied up to the matric level [10th class]. Whatever works were to be done at home, we used to do it; we worked hard. In villages, usually buffalos are reared, so I helped in taking care of the buffalos. We had to go to the fields—whatever work was to be done like harvesting, etc., we had to do it all. When we were young, we used to go into the fields with my mother and help with harvesting hay. Then we brought the hay home. Then after coming home we would do all the household chores. We had to cut the hay at home and serve it to the buffalos. At home, I had my mother, my father, and we were three sisters. I had two brothers, who were younger. I had to look after them also. Such as if they felt ill, I took them to the doctor. My mother was alone; I mean, my father used to go to work. He used to do labor work earlier; later he did work in Atlas for 13 years. We used to get up really early. My father had to catch the train very early so we were to pack his food, prepare food, and do other works like to fetch water from the well that was very far away and many other works. Then we used to get dressed and go to the school.

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After coming from school, we had to go to the fields again. We used to cut the grain and fodder. There were a lot of tasks that we used to do. We had our schoolwork to complete as well. My brothers were younger, and so was my sister. I had to help them study and so I had a lot to do. I had to do my own work also. I did study up to matric level. As I grew older, the matter of my marriage was discussed. I had a lot of friends in my village and we all lived close together. We used to study together and we used to eat together. Some belonged to my own community and some of them belonged to another community. We just used to sit together in the late evening and study until late night, then get up early to do our work. This was our normal routine work. We used to play after going to the fields. We used to cut hay, etc. We used to play in school also, games like kho-kho and badminton. We went to play outside also here in Sonipat in the girls’ school. One or two times we went to play kabbaddi as well. My parents were really good to us. We used to help them in work. They raised us very nicely. They did not let us face any problem. They said, “Our children should not face any problems in life.” The condition of our house was good. We all used to help in household works. My father used to do labor work, etc., and my mother also used to do labor work. When I was really young, she used to take me along with her. Then we started growing up. Until we were quite young, until that time she used to take us with her because no one used to stay at home to look after us. Then we used to feel very good because we were young and with our mother. Even then we used to work at that time and as we became older the work grew because without doing work, the household could not be managed. My birth is of ’64 [I was born in 1964]. My date of birth is on 1/1/64. I have studied up to the 10th. Then in my village, there was school only up to the matric level. Earlier, parents did not use to care about their children’s education so much. Then it was not like what is happening now. Then after 10th, no, while studying in 10th, discussion about my marriage was started. My father went to the school for my admission; we got admitted into the school. We kept on going regularly to the school. We used to climb on the trees, play, and jump. When we were young, we used to ride bicycles; once I got hurt riding a motorcycle. My father had a motorcycle at that time; my brothers told me that we should all learn how to ride a motorcycle. My father was asleep after coming home after a long day of work. My brothers, who were all younger than me, made me sit on the motorcycle and started the engine and pushed me. I rode it for some distance, and that is how I learned to ride a motorcycle. That motorcycle

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broke down and my foot got wounded. But that did not stop me. My father bought another motorcycle. I rode that one, too, and crashed into the hand pump and got hurt again … I could go on about my childhood stories and they would never come to an end. I had the responsibility of taking care of all my brothers and sisters because I was the oldest. All depended on me. My parents used to go to work, and then I was to manage the home. I managed that. Father used to go in the morning and come in the evening. Then we used to work [study] with my father. We used to sit until ten or eleven o’clock. We kept on studying, then to get up early, to go to school, to prepare food, to look after the buffalos, fodder, etc., to cut the fodder, etc. So, there was always a lot of work that needed to be done. Then there were my chacha [father’s younger brother] and tau [father’s elder brother]; I had to do their work, too. My chacha had a very hard life. He used to use neem [medicinal plant], and from that he prepared datun [a wooden stick for brushing the teeth]. He was younger than my father; he was also a student. He used to sell the datuns in the morning so he could pay his school fees. My uncle studied up to a BA degree [Bachelor of Arts] but he did not get a job to this day. He also had children. They were born before me. The responsibility for those children also lay on me. I had to take care of them also, even though they were older. My aunt [uncle’s wife] was my maasi [mother’s sister]. She also used to go to the fields. Her children were born before me. So who would take care of them? My grandparents. But they were old. My grandfather used to farm. He used to grow vegetables, tomatoes, wheat, etc., in the fields. Work was also to be done there, so we used to go there. Some work laborers would do and some we would do. We used to play; there were no restrictions. We had a good life. Nothing bad happened to us. The environment in the village was also fine. There was nothing like the freedom girls have today. Earlier, we did not have all this freedom. Now the girls have so much freedom to go outside. Now some girls make some mistakes with boys and sometimes the boys make the mistakes. I came from a good family that instilled in us good manners, values, and instincts. We did not go down a bad path. We had a lot of work but also had time to play. My parents would say to us, now it is time to study and now to play and now to do the household work. So this was our routine: we were to play for so much time, spend so much time on household work, and so much time on outside work that had to be done. We would see that the food was prepared and also we had to prepare food for uncle and the children. There was work that we needed to do for the grandparents, such as to wash their clothes, help them bathe, etc.

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What was the age at the time of my marriage—I was just 17 years old; then I got married. Earlier, six-year-old children used to start going to the school. At that time six-year-old children used to get admission to the school. Now, children at the age of two or two-and-a-half can take admission in the school. So you can see the age—between 6–17 years, I learned all the work in that time period, all the work that had to be done. My mother taught us how to do the work. Two buas [father’s sisters] and my mother were at home; then my maasi [mother’s sister] came. Bua was unmarried; she was married before my eyes. I remember her marriage. Now her children are also married. We went to her marriage; we all went. Both of my brothers did not study. Even now, they are just hanging around doing nothing. They did not study; they just kept on hanging around with no goals in life or will to do better. There is my elder brother; he has for a long time consumed liquor. In childhood, they were good. They were also good with us. Even now they are fine with me but they are not good to their children or their families. They now keep on hanging around all day. They keep on consuming liquor. The younger one is somewhat good. He is doing some work. The elder one has three children; one girl’s age is suitable for marriage. She has done 10+2 [high school and two years of college]. His son is also suitable for marriage. The children of the younger brother are all young. My parents were good people and they used to keep us very nicely. They used to say, “Study well, work well, have good instincts, learn good things, don’t learn bad things.” So they used to tell us good things after making us sit, that we should do this and don’t do this. Now my mother is alive and father is dead. He had a heart attack and along with it paralysis. He lived on the cot for one-and-a-half years and then passed away. Now there is my mother and she is doing okay. She is sad about my brothers. They only drink and care about nothing else. He [brother] does not do anything. My father earned a lot. Even now, there is a lot of property left. My brothers want to sell the property and consume liquor because they don’t do any work. We gave them good values. We are managing our home very nicely. I do all the work here, whatever work it is such as household work and labor work, etc. But now there is a little difference—after becoming Sarpanch, I feel some hesitation in going outside for labor work. Otherwise, after coming here, after my marriage….27 years have passed after my marriage. I was married in ’84. Whatever work was available, I used to go outside, collect wood, etc., go for labor work such picking mushrooms, cutting hay, picking peas, and digging up onions, go for harvesting the wheat—I have done all this work. But the family members ask me not to do this

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fieldwork. My father-in-law, his financial condition was very good. Well, he did not do the cutting of crops, and the family even now asks me to not do this work. My husband used to go for work earlier than 8 a.m. After 8 a.m. I used to go out with the ladies. He used to come at 5 p.m. so after he had come, children were young, I used to prepare food. He did not know that I have come after working outside. I used to earn some money in that process and that money was used to run the household. I had lots of hobbies while in school. I used to play, jump, climb on the trees, jump rope, etc. There were other games the teachers used to teach us and make us play. Madams [teachers] were good; they used to teach us very well. All the teachers meet us in Sonipat even now. I miss them a lot; they were very good. If there was any function, etc., then we used to participate in that also. I used to recite freedom songs and poems on the stage. Earlier there was Shanti Rathi. I have a photograph with her while I was delivering a speech. I have talked to her many times. She used to come to our school; she is the same lady who got our school built; she used to come in the village also. My father also had good relations with her and she also used to love us a lot. When sometimes she would come, then after assembling the girls, she used to teach us valuable good lessons. We girls also used to talk to each other, some good and some bad. We used to do mischievous activities also with the children. These things are usual. Quarrels with children are also common; disputes used to take place on any matter. These are the common things.

Friends, Hobbies, and Studies My first friends, we were three very good friends. One belonged to the Jat [dominant ethnic group in Haryana] community, no, two. We were four very good friends. One belonged to the scheduled caste community, same as ours. I was married before them. They talk to me even now on the phone. One is our relative, she is my uncle’s daughter; she is living in Heer-Majra [name of village]; her father is my paternal uncle. And I am here; she is married to the nephew of my mother-in-law. We had good relations with them so we thought that these people [referring to her inlaws] are also good so we should accept their proposal for marriage. My other friend belonged to the Jat community and was also very good. We used to sleep together at my home, study there, and also eat our meals together. I used to go to the fields along with them. We used to dig out the sugar cane and some other eatables sometimes directly in front of the owners and sometimes by hiding ourselves. When we would tell our family members, then they did not used to say anything. They would say,

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“It’s fine, my son/daughter.” Those girls also used to bring eatables in the evening. Just as they came, they used to sleep there. I mean, there was less discrimination earlier in our society. People used to respect each other. It was not like that, that these are Charmars [lowest caste people] so do not have their eatables. But we have great love with them. We used to live together. Their parents also did not used to say anything. Their parents are very good even today. They keep in touch with us even today. They come to our home also. We also go, we also go in their marriages, etc. They call us. My father had good relations with them because of this so we also developed good relations with them. Otherwise, a girl doesn’t go and sleep in the other caste’s girl’s home. Now there is a lot of difference. Earlier there was a lot of love and affection among people. We used to celebrate all the festivals. Such as there is Holi, then we would perform Holi-puja, play Holi [festival of colors], light a fire with wood, etc. Then children used to make small dung cakes there and then make garlands with them. Ladies used to keep fast, get new clothes stitched; after wearing those, they worship the Holi in the evening. Drums were beat there; they used to dance and jump; they used to play. They used to keep on playing Holi. The ladies who were elder, they used to whip their younger brothers-in-law, drum was beat, play, jump, and keep on dancing. On Diwali also, it is our whole family used to celebrate it very well. Earlier, our family was living okay. We made a decent living. My grandfather had five brothers. Three of them have died and two are alive. My father and others are four brothers so even now there is great love and affection among brothers and among sisters also. On Teej, the festival of eating, we used to prepare eatables such as pakodas, bread, etc. We used to prepare these things at home. Festivals are celebrated like festivals. I was also good at studies. Earlier there were only four subjects: Hindi, English, social studies, and math. We used to study all of them. I was good at studies. Then in matric I got married and we went to Delhi. Our teachers used to teach us to play games. Then teams used to come from outside and they used to take us to other places with them. We came here in Sonipat two times. We used to come in the morning. Our village is nearby here, just near 14 sectors, and the school is situated at Murthal Road. We went there in that school two times. We also played kho-kho, kabbaddi. But we lost in kabbaddi. That was a good team of girls from Badoda-Bitana. We were children then, studying in seventh or eighth class. They were tall and strong; they won. We won in badminton. We used to play a lot. We used to go on foot from there; Ramlila is played in a ground there. We used to come on foot from the village; we can’t go now. Earlier, we used to run on foot to the school and come back after watching

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Ramlila. We used to go for ten days, every day to see Ramlila. We used to see every day. There was exhibition performed at four o’clock. We used to leave at 2:30 or three o’clock. After watching, there were some Tat girls and we used to bring grain in bags; earlier most things were exchanged for grains. In exchange for wheat, we bought things. Money was somewhat rarely used. Family members usually gave us very little money. So putting the money in bags, we used to buy few things, sometimes something, sometimes some other things.

Puberty and Marriage Earlier, in the beginning, I did not know about periods [mensuration]. Later, my mother told me, my aunts told me, that this happens to all the women. When it happened to me in the beginning, then I thought, “What had happened?” Such as this is my daughter, I mean when it happened to her the first time then she was in school. When she came back from school, she started weeping. She was wearing a white skirt. When she came back, boys and girls might have seen it. When it looked bad, then madam sent her home after giving her a suit [dress]. Then I made my daughter understand, after making her sit at home, “Daughter! It happens to all, me too, and your aunts too. I mean it happens to all the ladies monthly.” Then she understood just as I had understood years ago. We managed our periods without anyone knowing about it. We controlled it somewhat with cloths, etc. My aunts used to advise us, “Daughter, do like this, wear cloths, etc.” Then we came to know about such things. Some was told to me by my mother and some my aunts told me. I was studying in 10th class. It was the time for my exams; it was the same month. It was about the day before yesterday, I mean, I was married on 21 April 1983. My husband’s father and uncle went to see me. When they went to our home then my father went to the school and asked the teacher after giving my name, “Send the girl home, we have some work at home.” Then my teacher said, “Go, daughter, your father had come; you go home.” I asked her, “What is the reason?” She said that she did not know and that he had called you. Earlier no one talked to girls about their marriage; who knew then? Now all the marriage talks are done before girls. Now it has to be asked from the girls and boys. Earlier, so much talks were not done with the girls. So I went to my home and he was sitting there, my husband’s grandfather. They were two brothers and both went there. I offered them tea, etc. They were very affectionate towards me. Then they said, “Daughter, go to the school.” They also left along with me. Outside of my home, so much far away [points at a location],

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they had a gilt coin of one rupee. Then my husband’s father said, “Daughter, take this coin, eat some toffees with it.” My engagement was done with one rupee. I got one gilt rupee at that time when they went to see me. Then they said yes, that Chaudhary, he addressed my father by this word, the girl is ours now. My father said that you did not even tell us. They said that the boy’s elder uncle gave her one rupee and my father-inlaw gave her one rupee after coming outside the home. I was engaged in this way. Then my father gave them time and came here to see the boy. Then all the arrangements regarding my marriage were made. My husband was taking his 10+2 exams at that time. I had just taken my 10th exams. So our marriage was performed in April, on 21 April 1983. How was I feeling when I got engaged? I was angry with my parents and refused to talk to them. My grandfather also said, “How much is her age? Not much. So let her study at least until 10+2.” There was no school in the village after 10th. Then my father said, “I will not send her outside after 10th. I will not send her to Sonipat.” It was a little far away from the village. Earlier that is the way it was. There were not transportation facilities then. So my father asked me, “Do you want to go to Sonipat?” I said yes, but he did not agree. My father himself taught me how to ride bicycle. Then he did not let us study, all my brothers and sisters. We all studied until matric. I wanted to study further but my family members did not let me study after 10th. They said that we would not go outside, neither we want you to do harvesting, nor any work; we don’t want you to do any job. You are to do the domestic chores only; we will not allow you to study further. When I became engaged, then I was not shown even the photo of my husband. I do not remember much about my marriage. We can’t even say that we got married. There is no proof of our marriage. Earlier, things like photos, etc., were rare. Those who were the rich people usually did these things. We don’t have any photos, etc. When my husband came for our engagement then he was learning the work of fans, motor repairing. He was learning the work related to electricity, but at that time he was also studying. After leaving his studies, he opened a shop to repair things like tube well motors, fan motors. He was self-employed. His father lived in Balgarsh and he had a rubber repair shop. He used to work there and go there. My husband did not study any further, nor did he take a government or private sector job. His father used to ask him about securing a government or private sector job but he refused. After engagement, in the same month, our marriage was performed. When the engagement was done, I did not tell anything to my friends. Next day I went to the school and when the school got off, they asked me

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why I went home early the previous day. I said that there was nothing. They said that there must be something; that is why your father had come to call you. Then I told them what had happened. The girls started teasing me about my upcoming marriage. They said, “You will go and we will be alone here.” I told them one day they will also get married, and they will also have to go away alone. So after my marriage, all three of my friends also got married. Their family members did marry them off in a hurry and did not allow them to study. None of us got to study any further. Now whenever we meet, then we get to talk about old times. I don’t know when we will meet; we meet only at weddings or when I go back to my village, then they come to meet me. We don’t live in that village now. Only my marriage was performed in the village; after that we don’t go to the village. Only some of my family, such as my uncle, lived there. Our whole family now lives in Sonipat. All the relations came to my wedding. My uncles and aunts came. Barothi [a ceremony] was performed. Fere [ritual, part of the wedding ceremony] was also performed. Jaimala was also performed. All the ceremonies were performed in the marriage. All the things were given to me in the marriage; my father gave all the things. Marriage was performed in a very nice manner. People went from here; they all said that the arrangements were very good. The person who was the Pradhan [Sarpanch] from here said that he had not eaten such food anywhere else among the relatives such as here [referring to her maternal home]. They had made very good food; the entire program was very good. Marriage was performed very nicely and ostentatiously. I brought my suits and sarees myself; some dresses were brought by our relatives as per our tradition such as bua [father’s sister], chacha [father’s younger brother], tau [father’s elder brother], grandparents, etc. Our home was in front, a window was in it, and some other friends were along with me. They said to me, “Stay here, he [husband] will come from here.” So when he came, then we all were looking from there. Then they asked me, “Have you seen him?” He is fine, he is like this, he is like that, his color is a little dark, he looks like a Bihari [person from the state of Bihar in India]. It is common for girls to talk like this. They just joked. We kept on watching and focusing on the front part of the house. In the front, the arrangement for their sitting was made. Then marriage was performed, Jaimala was performed and Fere was performed. Then, I came here. I came here, met with my father-in-law and mother-in-law. I talked to them, and then we had food, etc. Then I went back to my maternal house and came back from home in the evening. Here, relatives were talking

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about me, that she is like this; she is like that, etc. People came to see a new bride; they gave money in exchange for seeing the face of the bride. They look at the dowry given, etc. The people were all good; they are good people. Since when I have come here, since then they are good. Nothing wrong has happened to me. After coming here, I met my husband after three or four days because guests kept on coming and going for the marriage. Some tension also emerged on some matter; because of that we could first talk after only three or four days. We met first at the home itself. After coming here, I would do all the work of the home and outside work, too. We would also do the fieldwork. My mother-in-law never said anything to me. My mother-in-law is very good. She never abused; she never said anything to this day. She is very good. We never quarreled about anything. There was my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, my father-in-law, elder brother-in-law, and sister-in-law. We all lived together. Everyone’s behavior was good. There are two brothers. They are living very affectionately even now. Earlier also it was so. We never fought or anything like that happened between us. Men go on job in the morning; so after that, ladies are to live at home. We all three [my mother-in-law and both daughters-inlaw] lived together. We would have food, take a bath, sleep; if there was any work outside then we would do that; otherwise we would do household work. We would do household work together. After one year, children were born. My health deteriorated; then I went to the doctor. Doctor told me that the matter is this and we got tests done, etc. Then they gave me medicines. I took these medicines. I got myself injected. I took the complete injections for one year. After nine months of this, my elder son was born. I told my sisters-in-law that this was happening to me. They told me. Sometimes I would have food; sometimes I did not have. Sometimes I would vomit; sometimes have loose motions [diarrhea]. My health remained like this. All the nine months were under the care of the doctor. There was a doctor in Sambhalkha, I would go to him, then my elder son was born. He was born at home. All the children were born at home. There was a midwife in the village. She had done the doctor’s course. She used to come to all births. Earlier, no one would go to the hospital; only a few people would go. Now there are no midwives. Now delivery huts have been opened. The government opened these. Great care is taken in these huts. First time I gave birth, I was very afraid. There was the midwife and she said, “Daughter, do like this, do like that.” She kept on sitting the whole night. Then the pain started. At that time there was great pain. After

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two to four hours of pain, this boy was born to me. Then we took care of the child; I learned how to give him a bath, medicines, injections, etc. He used to remain ill a lot. He was born one month early. The elder son was born at eight months and was very weak. Much money was spent on him. We always worried that he was about to die. He was very small; he was born after eight months. So we were busy in taking care of him. Then he kept on growing and we took care of him. Now I have three children. The elder boy is doing a job in Manesar. Thereafter, I have a girl. The girl’s BA’s final examinations are going on now. One paper is left. She has done computer for one-and-a-half years. Now she is doing JBT. She will take the JBT exams. The younger son is doing BCA [Bachelor of Chartered Accountancy] in Delhi. It’s his final year. How were they in their childhood? They used to fight with each other. Beat each other up. One used to smash the other’s head and others would use their fists. Heads of all three were smashed. They are now grown up but they still fight with each other even now. The nature of the elder son is very good. Earlier, in his childhood he used to do many mischievous activities. He used to beat others and said this happened, Mother, and that happened. But as they grew up, we made them understand that you should not behave like this. When they were young, they used to quarrel. Now they are grownups. The elder son is 25. So when they were small, like four or five or five to seven years old, then they brought complaints also. They came after beating someone; they also came after being beaten up. So other parents would come to our home, that your son had beat up my child. But they were children, and children usually fight. Then they started going to the school. After going to the school, our children never fought with anyone. We made them understand and told them good things and values. All the three children have good instincts. Until today, they did not commit any mistake; even the boys did not do so. Boys have lived outside also and he did his courses at Indian Technology Institute. Now two years have passed; he is doing a job in Manesar. He has come back after living in Madras for one-and-a-half years, the elder son. So now we are thinking about the girl and boy’s marriage. After all, marriage is to be done. How is my husband? He is of an angry nature to some extent. He is somewhat soft also. He gets angry about some things. Sometimes there are disputes and he gets angry. Now I have known about his nature. If he is angry, then I keep quiet. If I speak back in response and he also speaks, then the dispute will arise. I have seen his nature so we have started adjusting accordingly; when he gets angry about those kinds of things, then we should not say anything as this escalates matters.

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He [husband] did not bring anything for me until this day. Yes, he gives me money that whatever you want to purchase, go and purchase. Sometimes he goes with me and we hang around, eat something, but he has not brought anything for me. He did not bring anything even for the children until this day. But we can take whatever amount of money we need and we can purchase things with it. So all these things, I do myself. For children, for myself, and many times for him, I have to bring the things. He doesn’t bring anything. He sometimes buys his own clothes, etc. Otherwise all these things I do myself.

Sarpanch Days The villagers asked me to become the Sarpanch. They all assembled in the chaupal [traditional meeting place of the Panchayat] in the morning. After assembling, they came to call us, me and my children’s father. They said, “Let’s go!” I said to my husband that he should go with them. He went. Then they said that we have selected you as a Sarpanch. The selection meant that I was the unanimous choice and there would be no elections. They had selected me unanimously. Then my husband refused on my behalf. He said that I would not become a Sarpanch. He said that he had a lot of works, he was a busy man, and these are the works of an idle man. It is not our cup of tea; it is usually done by the Jats [dominant ethnic group in Haryana]; we are poor people. So he kept on saying like this but they, the villagers, did not agree to it. Then they all came to our home from the chaupal. Then they started saying to me that, daughter, we have selected you as Sarpanch. I said that we would not do Sarpanchi. It is not our cup of tea. We are a very simple people and we are focused on doing our own work. We could not do this job. They said that, no, daughter, we have selected you. I kept on refusing. Then all those people got angry with me. By now my husband had changed his mind. He told me that so many people were asking me to take this position and I should agree to it. These were all people older than me so out of respect I agreed to their request. However, there were two to four people; they did not like my decision. They belonged to our caste. They said that we should have an election and not everyone was in agreement. They were against us; they were annoyed with us on some other matter. It is our nature that we do not fight with anyone. We do not quarrel. We do our work and lay down at night to sleep. We do not interfere in matters unnecessarily or go to places without reason. If there is any work in the city, then we go there in the morning. Thereafter, after becoming Sarpanch, I felt very good. Works were not being done in the village. Then I started feeling good in doing the works. I

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reformed the village; we got the development works done in the village. None of the streets were pucca [permanent structure, made of brick or cement] here. There was a large problem with water. We got 20–22 hand pumps installed. We got the water hand pumps installed so that people will not suffer from the shortage of water. Then now there is the phirni [circular path around the village], etc., outside. None of the works were done earlier in the village. People also had listened about us that our work is going on very well. We don’t want to take bribes and we don’t want to appropriate funds. Our shop’s work is going on very well; our children are also studying; we eat good food and wear good clothes. We don’t need anyone else’s money. Then we saw that the villagers have given this responsibility to us; they must have given it to us for doing work. If they select good people, then that person will do good works also, and we proved ourselves as true in this test. We did the works in the village. I go alone to the meetings, etc. If my husband has time, he also goes. I talk to all the Panches. I felt it good to do work in the village; that works should be done in the village. Now there is not such a big problem in the village that remains to be solved and on the whole there are a lot of works to do. Most of the works we have gotten done during these five years. The works, which will be assigned by the people, we will get it done. Earlier there were no facilities of any kind in the village. The villagers said that we want this facility, such as water. Whichever home I would go to, they would say, “Take off the pitcher from our head. We have lost our hair due to carrying the water on our head.” I said, “Fine, I’ll fix it.” I mean, we got water to each household by spreading the water pipelines in the village. We got all the streets constructed. We did not face any problem in doing work. There are some people in the village who create problems. At first, they say that we should construct this street. Then, the person next to him says, “I will not let it be constructed, I will not let the drain be constructed from here.” When I asked him why he would not let it be constructed, he said that the space was his. We left the work as it is. After seven to ten days, the person himself came to us and said that that street was to be constructed. I told them that we were constructing the street and I was fully supporting the construction, but they stopped it saying that the drain being constructed was encroaching on their property. And that’s why we stopped the construction. He changed his tune and now said that we should construct it as there is a lot of mud and water on the street. We did complete works like this. There are some people that say don’t construct, some others say do this work, do that work; if a person does not agree to a construction, then we stop construction but that leaves lots of people

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unhappy. After ten days, that person comes in and says that you have left our project and continued on that one. We did good works for poor people during these five years. Once an old lady from the village came for help and I said, “Come with me in the office,” so that whatever work she had, I got it done for her. A lot of change has come in the lives of girls in comparison to the earlier days. Earlier the parents did not give so much freedom to the girls so that they can do all the things they do now. Parents would be very strict and protective of girls. Now children get all the facilities like studying and wearing whatever types of clothes they like. Earlier, people did not have so much. People did not let the girls go outside and there were restrictions that girls will not do this work, especially jobs. Now the girls are doing jobs. They are working in very good posts. Now there are no restrictions on the girls. The girls’ intentions, nowadays, are to reach as far as possible. Earlier, girls were not given so much freedom; parents and relatives used to stop them. Now there is a lot of change. Now girls can fulfill their dreams and ambitions. Earlier, they did not go outside without parents’ permissions, and now they themselves do all sorts of things such as going outside to meet someone, to talk to someone. Earlier, girls did not have jobs. Now the parents have no idea what their daughters are doing, whether they are working or not, and whom they are meeting. They don’t know when she is going outside from her home, where she has come from, and where did she go. A lot of changes have happened in the past few years. A change is also coming in the society around us, how the people used to live earlier. Now the people are getting all types of good facilities. Earlier, where were these types of facilities; there was poverty. Where was so much money? Now people have so much money that one doesn’t know what he can purchase. There are a lot of changes now. I got the greatest happiness in these last five years because the works of the village were done. I am happy and content that the villagers assigned us these responsibilities, and we worked on them a lot. We worked very well. Now it is also a joy for me that my children have grown up. Sons have jobs so happiness is natural. One year ago, I suffered from a heart attack. At that time, I was ready to die. I don’t know whose prayers saved my life. I was admitted to the hospital, Batra Hospital, and was in the emergency room for ten days. Oxygen… I did not know. I came to consciousness only after ten days. If I had free time, what would I do? I would go outside and just hang around, buy something, eat something. I never got such a day during these last five years where I was free all day. We never got this. Now we are

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thinking about going on a tour outside. We will be free now after 15 days or one month. My husband was also saying that he will go to the Haridwar and come back in a week. Both of us cannot go; only one will go because the children are now grown up and we cannot go after leaving the children here. Will I fight elections again? This is not our intention. Now the seat is of general category and there are a lot of contestants from the general category. In the next year we will just hang around after getting free from Sarpanch responsibilities. We will do the marriages of our children. We did not even go visit our relatives during these five years. Now we will enjoy and just hang around. Our only wish is that our children will get married and may they get a good job and may they start earning money and we will be free then. I got this courage of doing work from our elders. My father used to make me understand that, “Daughter, do like this, do like that, so that your life can go on smoothly. Do the work routinely, earn like this, and spend like this.” He used to tell us important life lessons. When we came here then my father-in-law used to tell me important life lessons about how to lead a good and decent life. He was elder and used to say to me that, “Daughter, do this like this then this will happen, follow only the right way, do good works.” I very much like to serve the poor people; I like to spend some money on them so that their work is done and they don’t suffer as much. For poor people my soul suffers a lot…. I do not spend too much time on those who are too proud of themselves because of their social standing or wealth. A poor person can take me with him/her anywhere; I will go there, and I can spend money from my own side. For the poor, I am willing to do a lot. How do I go to the meetings? I go there by auto. Otherwise their [children’s] father goes with me; he has a bike. I sit for five or ten minutes in the morning; I also go to the temple. The temple is nearby. We worship our god on festivals and otherwise also. I get up at four o’clock in the morning. I get up early and get fresh; I go to bathroom, etc., then I worship God. Then after some time, I do some exercises for my own body. Then the children are ready to go outside and I pack their lunch. My husband goes, then to prepare food for him, to have food and to pack it. So it is our daily routine of morning. My brother-inlaw is living separately now and we are alone. Twenty years have passed when we got separated. When our children were born, we were all together. Now we are hoping that after educating our children, they will get jobs. We are thinking about our daughter; she is doing JBT. We are spending money so that she may get a job and stand on her own feet and spend her life in a better way, so she can raise her children someday. Same

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for our son. He is on the job now and we will get him married and then he will manage his family. That is what our responsibility is. We will bear that, and the son will bear his own responsibility. I wear the veil. I like to wear the veil. If there is someone older then before an older person it doesn’t appear good if we don’t wear the veil. I like the veil; this is our tradition. I don’t feel that this tradition is bad. Suppose an older person is standing behind you, then he will feel some hesitation in speaking. No one requires nowadays that a woman wear a veil. I don’t want my daughter to put on the veil. Earlier it was not so but now things have changed. But I have done this from the start and now it is difficult to change habits, especially when my father-in-law is at home. Nowadays, very few women practice the tradition of veil in front of their brother-in-laws; it is done more before the father-in-law. I still do it when I see anyone older than me. As a young girl, I used to sing hymns in the morning. Now girls don’t have a bath on special occasion like Kartik [a month in the Indian calendar, usually in the beginning of November] etc. Earlier, girls used to get up early and take a bath at the well and used to sing hymns while sitting there. Madam, my heart attack has affected my memory. I don’t remember some of the things, even some things in the present. I don’t remember very old things. It is affecting my mind a lot. I am taking medicines regularly; it is the second year. Do I want to do something for my society? [She is a member of the schedule caste in her village.] If I get a chance further, then I will continue to work for my society also. Whatever my society wants, I will work for them. He is our own. [She points toward the picture of Dr. Bhimrao Ambedkar, a noted leader who fought against caste-based discrimination.] We are following him. He was our teacher. He has done whatever has been done for my people to this day. We have learned good things from him, that we should support the poor people, do something for poor people. So we do that. We usually donate a lot for poor people’s children, for the blind and lame. We serve poor people more than our own people. Our main aim is only that.

SHANTI DEVI (1) CHALLENGING LIFE

What is striking about Shanti Devi is her ability to face the tragic accidents in her life. When she talks about the loss of her elder brother’s children, she questions her faith. What is also particularly noteworthy is her constant comparison of the past with the present. She compares the past and the present on issues such as safety for women and the loss of the simple ways of life. For example, she ponders her childhood and tells us that it was usual for people to offer large glasses of milk to people who visited the home. She laments that now people can’t even offer a glass of water, let alone milk. Through her, one can see the traditional beliefs regarding the dependence of parents on their children and their earnings as they age. Highly critical of the modern era, her life lesson is, “It was a crazy innocent time but now it is a clever [tricky] time. Nowadays anybody can be made a fool of by anyone.”

Early Age and Childhood I was born in Karkada. Khatana is our gotra [sub-caste]. I grew up in Karkada, and in my childhood played with doll and sticks. I lived affectionately with my friends and with my brothers. We are three siblings. Two brothers are older. I am the younger. One of them has a daughter and the other has a son and daughter. I am younger; they are elder. They each had one son and one daughter, but one brother’s thirteenyear-old son passed away. When I was a young girl, my father was very loving. Even a mother could not be like that. He was so loving. Even after growing up I used to go to play. Then he [father] used to say “Jiji [daughter], have food first.” I used to say, “No, Kaka [father], I will come back and eat after playing.” One person who I was really close to was my sister [aunt’s daughter]. Even now we love each other so much that when we meet we bare our heart and soul to each other. We used to sleep and eat together and she used to ask me to go along with her wherever she went and I did the same.

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After playing, she again used to say, “Play more.” I would say, “No, now we should go back to our own home.” My father would say, “Jiji [daughter], now you should come home.” But we said, “No, tau [father’s elder brother, but here used for father], we will come back home by ourselves, you go home.” Such pure love and affection is not present, now, nowhere, not in this world now. Even after growing up, I used to play with dolls. Sometimes I would play thurni [a game] with my friends. Sometimes I climbed on the bushes and played there. I used to climb on the bushes and collect peel [a type of fruit]. I would tie a little ghadwa [an earthen pot] around my neck with sindhori [functions like a rope] and collected peel. In our region, there were abundant peels. But now we do not find such peel. Nobody compelled me to do work. I just had to bring in a load of grass in time. Sometimes I brought green leafy spinach from fields or mustard leaves. I never did other work except this. My mother used to say, “Who will give you cooked food?” and I used to say, “I will do it myself when I grow up.” My youngest brother is in the army. The other is a landlord. My uncle used to have cows, not buffalo. He had ten cows. We never remained without milk. We used to have good butter and cow’s milk. Cows in summer and winter used to give milk. So we were well fed. We never had any idea of the city. Mahendergarh was the nearest city to our village. We never went to the city. Sometimes we visited the maternal uncle’s place. My maternal uncle’s village is 10 km away. We visited them sometimes to attend marriages and other family functions. When I was young I used to go there with my father. But after growing up, I used to stay mostly with my mother. She said that I would accompany her. But if she went there to visit for one or two days then she would tell me, “Stay home, your brothers need you to stay home.” My father never felt tired. He cooked for us and served us. My aunt died in childbirth. My father looked after her children, brought them up. My tauji [uncle] was in the army. We all lived together with love and still we all live with love. Back when we were all together, we never opposed each other and our time passed happily playing together. But now it is asked, “Where did you go?” Now time is bad. Now there is no relationship of brother and sister. Nothing is left now. People are selfish and they change. If we could just remain true or clean in our heart, then it is fine. We used to wear long skirts at that time. Nowadays, it is all about fashion. These salwars [loose Indian pants] were also not worn at our place. We wore only long skirts, 15–15, 20–20 inches [in length]. When I was a small child, I wore long underwear, their length was down to the knees. When I grew old, I started wearing these long skirts. We each had

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five long skirts; I left behind my two long skirts in my parents’ house. When I started going to my husband’s home, my mother said, “Daughter, take it with you.” But I refused and now they are given to the beggars. One of my friends, Sonbai, is married here in Khadrada [name of village]. She was the only one of my age. She loved me dearly. Others were elder to me. I used to sing Holi [festival of colors] folk songs with my friends. We both collectively sang songs. [Sings after laughing loudly.] My one brother is dead. Six months have passed [starts weeping]. I am 60 years old. Then one of my granddaughters died. Granddaughter died. After marriage, she was sent to her home and was coming back. Accident happened. Two were married together; one was in one village, and the other in another village. She [who died] asked her husband if she could come back after Holi and that he would not need to come along with her. She had five daughters. They also died with her. Others were injured too. After that… [starts weeping and is unable to speak]… These memories haunt me. My heart aches. After that, my brother had a son, he also died. He was thiteen13 years old. He had urinary problem. He also died. Then my other brother also passed away six months back. His brain had got some problem. He did not have children. Now there is only brother’s wife left. My brother who was in the army is now retired. He is the younger brother but elder to me. So who is happy? There are so many more sorrows. Earlier, we were so fond of playing. We sang Holi’s songs and beat drums [pointing towards hands to clap]. Men also sang songs and we sang songs during the whole month of Falgun [the month of March according to the Indian calendar]. We would start at nine o’clock. Sometimes it took two hours and sometimes three hours. We would play a lot for a month because of moonlit nights. We played loor [a kind of dance]. We would walk in circles holding each other’s hands. We played together with no fights or quarrels. We lived happily with all, never quarreled with anyone. No opposition with any chachi-tai [aunts]. There were seven uncles of my father. All lived happily. If some relative arrived there, they were all welcomed [all the uncles, etc.]. In the evening when he [guest] sat at one place, glasses of milk were offered. These glasses were so large that we cannot offer such glasses now. Now we cannot even offer tea so milk is a secondary thing. There is no love-affection left like what it was in the early days, playing, jumping. I have told you about the difference of this time and that time. I had a very good relationship with my mother. We both slept together, with bent knees, on the same cot. I would strike buttocks on her [laughs after she says this]. Mother said, “Dear daughter, do you consider me your friend?” But I said, “I won’t tell you.” Mother

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used to say, “Daughter, when you go to your in-laws’ home, how will you live without me?” I said, “I will have to adapt and learn new habits because I won’t have another option.” Otherwise, when mother-father leaves [their daughter] at her wedding, her hurt burns. But now, daughters go casually [to their husband’s home]. Does anybody weep now? Earlier, they used to create a scene. Mother would say, “Jiji [daughter], may your heart find comfort in the house of your mother-in-law.” It is a custom. So much was the affection. I pray, Oh God! Please give people like my mother, father, and uncles to everyone. My father loved me so dearly, bought me so many things and when I used to go somewhere and return, he used to say, “Jiji, Shanta, daughter, oh, daughter! Where have you gone?” I used to tell him, “I had gone to Sonbai.” He would reply, “Oh daughter, I have been searching for you.” When I asked, “Why were you searching for me?” he answered, “I cannot live without you.”

Puberty and Marriage My father reared cows so he was much at home. He would take the cows to the forest to graze. In the season of plums, he would bring me, us, plums. In the season of grams, he would roast them and bring them to me and say, “Daughter, I have brought things for you and kept them there, please take it.” Our father was so good. If any of my brothers spoke to me in a loud voice then my father said, “Oh, boys, don’t speak like that to my daughter. She does not have to listen to you. She knows how to speak back.” He would then tell my brothers, “Don’t speak aggressively with her.” If I was not at home, then he asked, “Where is my Jiji gone?” When I moved to my mother-in-law’s house, he did not go back to our home for two or three days and he said, “I cannot go home as I will not feel relief without my daughter.” My mother said, “Your daughter has to go live with her in-laws, we also have our daughters-in-law here. Why do you behave like this?” My father said, “Emotions are not in my hand. It just happens because of the affection.” I learned how to prepare chapatti after coming to my mother-in-law’s home. My marriage took place when I was just 15-16 years old. After my marriage, three years later, maklava was performed [a ritual to take the bride from her birth home to her husband’s home]. Now it is more common to send the daughters at the same time as marriage. When I came after three years, my menstruation started and I thought, “What is this that has happened?”

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At first, girls grew and menstruation took place much at a later age. Now it happens much earlier. It must be the differences in the food habits. When I first started menstruating, I became sad and thought, “What a great difficulty had happened that day.” I was so scared. Today’s generation knows everything, whatever may be asked. Then I told this to my husband and he said, “Fool, don’t you know? These are the periods; they happen with every woman.” And I said, “But I don’t know.” Then he told me and explained things to me. It was a crazy innocent time but now it is a clever [tricky] time. Nowadays, anybody can be made fool by anyone. My brother, my aunt’s son, had brought this matrimonial. My bua [father’s sister] belonged to this village. Now she has died. Her son [my brother] told us about him [my husband]. Then they found out more about my husband [laughs]. Then, my brother went because my father is simple and plain. Bus service between our villages had not started at the time of my marriage. All the relatives in the marriage used to travel in buses. These private buses would run. He [husband] said, “We should take a vehicle on rent.” He ended up taking a bullock cart from Bondh [name of village] and came in it [laughs]. My father arranged a good marriage. In those days, we were told nothing. We just obeyed and did what was decided for us. At that time, we were very naïve and shy. I told my friend. “Sister, I am engaged” [laughs with shyness]. She asked, “Done?” I said, “Yes, done.” She said, “I will also get engaged in Kuana [name of village].” I said, “They got me engaged at Katesara.” She was happy. I also felt good and prayed to God. May God bless his life [for her husband’s long life]. We were told nothing. Now, girls do a lot of inquiry, but earlier none of us used to ask any questions about our marriage. At that time only four or five utensils were given, and four or five pairs of clothes to wear for the relatives. Only that much dowry was given to us. Our family was poor. My father bought clothes and other things for us. There was desi [traditional or local] roti [flat unleavened bread]. Ours was a poor family. Sweets like ladoo and jalebies were prepared. Four times meal was served at that time at the marriage, plus one time the next day. I also received ghee [clarified butter], sugar, and rice. But now who comes to weddings for long? Now relatives go on that very day of the function and come back. No chair-table, furniture was given to us at that time. After my marriage, I stayed in my in-laws’ home for three to four days. After that I came back home. Then my maklava [a ritual to take the bride from her birth home to her husband’s home] was performed three years later. Then I met my husband. My mother-in-law fell ill. Then I started living with my in-laws and their family. Here I have five brothers-in-law.

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One is older. His engagement was performed but later it was cancelled. His engagement was done in a different village but due to some opposition it was cancelled. After my wedding, his wedding was also performed. My father-in-law, mother-in-law, and their five children all lived together. Some problems emerged with my mother-in-law’s feet. My brother in-law got her operated on. There was leakage and pus. But there was one advantage [for her mother-in-law]; she could now tell me how to do everything while sitting; like you perform this work like this and like that. I would churn the milk, boil it, and chill it. So she told me about all the household chores and I did those. After waking at 2–2:30 a.m., I would grind grain until 4 a.m. Then I put the dung and filled the water. Now there is a tap at home but then I brought water from the well for the house. When a son was born to me, my sister-in-law also came into the family. At the time of boudi [a kind of crop], we picked them from the fields; we did harvesting. We would cut wheat too; millets were also cut and harad [a medicinal plant] was also cut. We used to go to the fields just before 8–9 in the morning. There my father-in-law sowed maize seeds, boudi, gram, great millet, and wheat. My father-in-law was the only one to do work. My husband was young; the younger brother-in-law went to the school and my elder brother-in-law was clever. Later, my husband joined the army. Then, after coming home, fodder was also to be cut. I did not have to serve it to cattle. This was done by my younger brother-in-law after coming home from the school, but was sometimes done by father-in-law. After coming from the fields in the evening, we prepared food and went to sleep. We used to sleep around 10 p.m. and wake up at 2–2:30 a.m. I used to grind 5 kg of grain at a time. Is there anyone who can grind now? Mother-in-law advised, “Do like this; never fight with anyone. After my death live with peace. These are the children [brothers-in-law and the children, etc.], you should never oppose anyone; live as friends with those in the neighborhood. If you have something then never say no and give it to others if you are capable of giving.” I used to work together with my sisters-in-law, like, “You prepare chapattis [flat unleavened bread], and I will prepare curry.” After preparing chapattis and curry, we used to say, “Let’s go to fetch water. You give food to father-in-law; I will give to the children.” We shared our work. There were three sisters-in-law. Marriages were also organized, enjoyed, and lots of songs were performed. But now after separation, my elder brother-in-law and younger brother-in-law are both gone. One brother-in-law has seven daughters and no son and the other had two sons. One died and one is left. Now he has two grandsons.

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My husband always lived happily and lovingly with me. Oh God! May I always get such a husband. When he would come after a year, he would talk a lot with me very lovingly. He would bring petha, burfies [names of sweets], a suit [dress], and soap for bathing and washing too. He joined the army after we had a son. I said to him, “Live there happily and work sincerely.” Then he would come visit us once a year. Sitting here for him without a job would mean nothing [from the point of view of livelihood] because all people need to find work for themselves. It felt good to me and I was never disappointed that he joined the army. I said, “It is good.” At that time, I did not feel that my husband had gone away, my family was there, but now time is bad. When my first baby was going to be born, I came to know from my bulging stomach and told my husband. He said, “It is good.” Then two more children were delivered. They were all born at home. A midwife came at the time of delivery. My mother-in-law was there too. At that time, we lived in our old home. My mother-in-law and a tayas [husband’s aunt] were there. They used to perform most of the work at that time. I used to be worried about how this child would come out of the womb. Later my mother-in-law told me that she was worried about me too. I thought my stomach has increased so much how will the child ever come out? Ultimately, it was all right. It was four in the morning. Pain started nearly at four the previous evening. It was so painful for me at that time. I started weeping and said, “Hey Ram [Oh God!]” I will never do it again but it all turned out all right. My husband was there and joked with me and said, “You got punctured today.” When baby was three to four months old, then my husband joined the army. He said, “Now play with him and live comfortably. Now I will leave for my job to serve the nation.” I said, “Go, live happily. May God give you long life!” He came once in a year in holidays. He sent letters but nobody would tell me. The brothers-in-law would read them by themselves. At that time there was not so much interest that I too may want something. Money earned by my husband was given at home to the elders. Then a second son was born after two years. My husband was still in the army. He came later for two to four months’ holidays. Then a girl was born after two years. Children were born to my elder sister-in-law also but they did not survive. Later some magic spells were tried to help her. While my children were growing up, we all lived together. By that time my sister-in-law also had children. Then my mother-in-law passed away. After my mother-in-law’s death, we all got separated. Everybody felt they were better and superior. My father-in-law had passed away before mother-in-law’s death. No, first my mother-in-law passed away and

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after two years my father-in-law died. My mother-in-law brought up my children because we went to the fields. She used to feed them, make them bathe. We never saw any child suffer or go hungry. My mother-in-law nursed them herself, gave them baths, and dressed them. We took care of them in the evening. After giving birth to my child, I started doing work after 20 days, some little bit like sweeping the room, washing the utensils. And when it was over a month, after the water omen ceremony was done, after Arva [good omen for cooking], I started cooking and work also. If somebody was there for help, then one could take rest and enjoy sound sleep; if not, then started working again after 10–15 days. I was not interested to take rest. I was just interested in doing work. There was no difficulty that I could not do this work. I had a will to do it so there was no problem. There is devotion to work; I am never tired. My father-in-law used to sow two by two, four by four acres of badi [type of grain]. Badi was also to be picked in the month of Bhadva-Sawan [usually July or August]. Nowadays, badi is picked in during Kartik [a month in the Indian calendar, usually in the beginning of November]. But then it was sown in advance. In Bhadva, badi was picked but now it is picked late. Earlier, harvesting was also done; gram crops were cut, wheat, millets, great millets were also harvested. Our children lived together with love. All the three brothers and sister never fought with each other. It was not like that with brothers, that you did not do this, you ate this, and you wore this. There was attachment. Both slept on the same cot; both went together to play; both went to the school together. Then the younger one said, “I will not study any more, the teachers beat me.” So he did not study. That girl and boy studied and the boy did 10th. The village only had school up to fifth. Daughter was not sent further to study. She would say, “Mother, I will not go outside. I want to study here.” She studied up to fifth and still she acquired fine manners and the elder son went to Samun and Bondh also [names of villages]. He passed 10th. Because the teacher slapped the younger son, he said, “Mother, I will not go, I will stay at home.” He never studied. There were no disputes between these three. The younger son was mild-tempered; the elder one was short-tempered but the sons never fought with one another. They mingled well with each other. My daughter used to go to play with elder brother-in-law’s children but never fought with anyone. When daughter was 15 years old, she got married. In our culture, we get married early. I said, “She is young yet.” But others said, “Now she has matured, younger than brothers, they are elder to her.” First, her brother was married, and then she was. Finally, the other brother was married. Now my daughter has two sons and three daughters. After the

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son’s marriages, daughters-in-law arrived. My father-in-law had chosen them. Their father had not gone but only my father-in-law went. His aunt had arranged this matrimonial. My daughters-in-law are very nice and live affectionately. I am satisfied with every aspect of my life; all the comforts are here. May God bless and give long life to all. My elder brother-in-law has two sons and one daughter. I do some household chores like preparing dung cakes in the yard. The grandchildren all go to school. My daughtersin-law do the rest of the work. I do not do it. I have passed my whole life doing all this. Many years passed after son’s marriage. Now children are grown up and mature. The elder son is 26–27 years old. Now I pray to God that God may take my life in front of my sons, daughters-in-law, happily. Now bad times have approached. Now, there is no shyness, is there? Everything is naked, isn’t it? We used to live in veil. We never faced any problem in the veil. Now, when these days women do not put a veil to cover their face, I feel angry. When our elders visit, we never spoke, we became conscious of their presence. But now, they directly enter without a veil, no shyness. We feel shy but this generation of women does not feel shy, don’t you feel? Now they roam here and there half naked. Now even if they take the veil, they take it such that all appears [it is useless]. My grandchildren are very fine. They are well-behaved and modest [shy]. In our zamindara [farm], still it is fine. Now food has changed. Earlier we ate gruel and rabri [made from buttermilk and flour]. Now does anyone eat traditional food? Now fancy dressing styles, fashionable living, naked lifestyle, looking straight into the eyes of others is how people live. It was not like this [shows the mild manner of eyesight]. Am I lying? When I was growing up, then there was shyness [modesty]. But now all shyness is destroyed. Now, kalyug [bad era] has arrived. Now everything is naked. Granddaughter is in 12th class. One is in eighth . Now here there is school up to the 12th class. Now my granddaughter goes to Raniganj [name of village] and boy goes to Kalanaus. I have said to them, “Wherever you wish, you study. Wherever you find good studies, study there.” Our duty is to spend money on their education and how much they study is up to them. Now new dressing styles will emerge. In our farming system, we have the veil system but not in the city. Without a veil, nobody feels shy; no one seems to care anymore about modesty. Earlier one walked covering herself with a veil, used to wear headlocket, necklace of pearls in the neck. Now where is such dressing style? And in feet wore seven, seven bracelets, anklet, jewadi, and batiyala [names of ornaments] were worn. But everything is gone now. Now there is only makeup, good eating, fancy lifestyle, and wearing short clothes. We wore long skirts.

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Sarpanch Days My sons look after the work of the Sarpanch. Whenever I am specifically called for a meeting, I attend those. Whenever there is any work, I let my sons know. I had no desire to become a Sarpanch. I was made the Sarpanch and I agreed. Villagers got the form filled for my nomination to become a Sarpanch. My son was made Sarpanch earlier and then he said, “Appoint my mother.” Then, I filled the form. Then, the whole village made me Sarpanch. I went campaigning to collect votes; my sister-in-law also went. My grandson and whole family also went. Then I was made Sarpanch. It felt very nice. My son handles work very nicely. He has worked on streets. Ponds and wells were repaired; god and goddess idols were repaired. I am illiterate. He does all this work himself. If village women bring some work, then my son handles it himself. Don’t I feel regret for studies? No, I don’t feel any regret. Yes, I can write my name. I was not interested in studies. I was interested in work. Doing work for buffalos, harvesting crops, housework, etc., that’s it. Now I don’t want anything in my life. I just pray to God, “Give happiness.” I want that for myself. God may call me in good condition to him. May God give my family a long life and happiness. Give happiness to all. I have passed a good time on earth. But I don’t know about the future, when my time would come, what would happen? I felt the greatest happiness when I was married. I have a good family; they are good people. When children were born, I felt great happiness then. Also, when sons and also when daughter was born, grandsons and granddaughters. I enjoyed the time with my sisters-in-law as we shared our work together. We had a lot of fun at the time of weddings. There was lots of laughter. We would talk about what work have you [sisters-in-law] done? What did you talk to your husband about? Now I am not interested in anything. Now times are really bad.

BALA DEVI EDUCATION IMPROVES WOMEN’S LIVES

For Bala Devi, education for girls is very important. A quiet radical in her belief in how far a girl should go for education, Bala Devi sent her daughters away from home for education. She wanted them to have the BEd [Bachelor of Education] degree as she respects the profession of a teacher. A firm believer in purdah, she doesn’t hesitate to make accommodations to her beliefs. One can see some glimpses of a powerful woman when she says that after becoming Sarpanch, she had to directly address the males and go to the chaupal[traditional meeting place of the Panchayat]. For her, this position did not bring power in the literal sense but gave a voice to her concerns about the lack of education and opportunities for girls. However, she is conflicted between the lifting of restrictions for girls and the need for boundaries.

Reminiscing Bala Devi begins with a song. The girls in this song ask their grandfather, who is sitting in the yard, if they can go for the Kartik [a month in the Indian calendar, usually in the beginning of November] bath outside. Then the grandfather replies, “Daughter, it is very difficult to take bath in the morning in the month of Kartik, so instead of going for a bath why don’t you plant plants in the garden and the orchard?” The girls then say that the gardeners can plant gardens and orchards; we will go for a Kartik bath. The second song goes like this: It was midnight, and stars were twinkling in the sky. Then the girls ask Chandrawal [name of an adolescent girl], “Chandrawal, let’s fetch water in a pot from the river Yamuna.” Then Chandrawal replies, “On this side of the riverbank the water level is so low that my pot does not fully drown in it, and on the other side of the bank is sitting Krishna Murari [Lord Shri Krishna, who in this avatar flirts with young ladies], so how can I fetch water from there?” She sings a third song. In this song, a lady tells a story: “Once I was filling up the water from the well, then a boy named Dayanand stopped his horse there and asked me for some water.” Then she said that it is okay, but

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“drink water from some distance because otherwise the drops of water may fall on my clothes.” The boy felt insulted at this reply. He said, “I don’t need this kind of water, if you insult me by saying that I should drink water from some distance.” Then the woman says, “Okay, you can drink water by coming near.” Somewhere in this song she references a man named Chotu Ram and that he adopted the Arya Samaj Dharam [a reform movement of Hinduism]. When asked what she knew about Arya Samaj Dharam, she replied, “They don’t celebrate festivals like we do or pray like we do. We participate in Kanagat [a ceremony where once in a year, food or other items/things are offered to the cows and poor people or in a temple, so that the soul of our forefathers may rest in peace], but they do not. At that time, good songs used to be sung. On the occasions like wedding or worship we would sing these songs.”

Marriage and Childbirth We were not allowed to go outside; we were not allowed to talk to other women when we would bring water. Once I was coming back after fetching water, then a woman came. She was like my friend and we stood there for two minutes. Then my son’s grandfather came from that side and I did not see him. Then just after two seconds, when I saw that he was coming, I left from there. After coming home, he said, “Daughter, you should not stand on the way; there is enough space in the house for talking. Ladies standing on the way; it doesn’t appear good. You can talk together at home.” They did not allow us to speak outside. Then, when my first child was going to be born, my eating and drinking was almost stopped. I liked to have sour things; sour apples and coconut I would eat, not sweet, the other type of coconut. I ate the chulha’s [clay stove] clay also all the time. I was three months pregnant when I went to my maternal home. There are many Ghimars [name of a caste] in our village. They used to come for selling fruit, etc. They also used to go to the city for selling fruit and bringing other things from the city. There were more orchards in our village; there used to be fruits like guavas, plums, apples, and pomegranates also. They used to come to sell them, all types of vegetable was also there. My mother used to take me there. Things were exchanged for wheat at that time. There was not as much money around then. Earlier, wheat used to be threshed. We used to use falsi [an instrument for threshing wheat]. On the upper side of falsi we used to put a bundle of wheat on that, and who did not have kuldhi [cutting implement] used to cut wheat on gandasa [cutting machine]. Bullocks used

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to handle falsi and we also used to walk with the bullock the whole day. Bullocks used to thresh them and then collect them together and pour down and we used to separate the husk from the wheat. In the same way, we used to cut grass. In our house we used to have a chakliwala-gandasa [round shaped cutting machine] made of wood; we used to call it paat. When the bull or thota [male buffalo] would walk, we used to put a bundle of grass in the paat and then make the bullocks walk to cut the grass. We have done a lot of these kinds of work. We did not cut the grass by hand in my maternal home; we did it only after coming here to my husband’s home. Here we operated the millstone by hand as well. We used to grind the gruel for buffalos. One day my sister-in-law would grind and the next day I would grind; we used to do it like this. My sisterin-law was somewhat weaker and I was more healthy/strong. She had done less work earlier in her maternal home. I also had not done more work, but I used to do more work than her. She used to live at home and I used to go to fields. I used to come back at eight o’clock after harvesting and after coming back used to cut the hay, do the dishes and if my sister-in-law was not ready with food then I used to prepare food also. These works I would do after doing harvesting and after coming back at 8 p.m. My mother would get me apples, etc. My mother-in-law would send me for two or two-and-a-half months to go visit my mother. There was not so much wealth in my in-laws’ family. My father-in-law would not let us buy vegetables, etc., from the street vendor. He did not used to let us go to the shop also. He did not let us buy fruits or vegetables. If lentils are available at home then we would prepare lentils; sometimes we would prepare curry; very few items were bought from the outside. If anything is grown in the fields, then prepare that; otherwise we used to prepare very few vegetables. We used to grow vegetables in the fields such as gourds, tinde [vegetable, a round gourd], etc. If we had grown vegetables in the fields, then we would prepare that, otherwise dal [lentils], curry, and desi [traditional or local] roti [flat unleavened bread]. We used to rear two to three buffalos so there was curd, butter, and buttermilk. I came back here when I was eight months pregnant. The child was delivered here. Then there was a lot of pain in my leg. It is said that the child had gone to the hips. I faced trouble for one to one-and-a-half months and there used to be a lot of work such as we had to fetch water. Then their [children’s] bua [father’s sister] came; she also would fetch water and she is shorttempered. She would say to me, “You should stay at home. You are not able to walk.” I was a child [of lower age] at that time. I was just 20 years old when she came. So I used to start crying that, on the one hand, I am not able to walk and she [referring to her sister-in-law] says that I should

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do all the work at home. Water used to be fetched from far away so I used to do all the work at home. Then at the time of delivery, earlier it was such that when a lady got pregnant for five or six months, then your uncle [she refers to her husband as my uncle] used to start sleeping outside. He would not sleep at home. He would sleep in the courtyard or somewhere else, meaning the husbands did not sleep with women when she is five to six months pregnant. The husband’s mother could not tolerate them being together. Then my daughter was born in the end of the ninth month. I did not know anything about childbirth, how they would be born and how they came out. I got up around four o’clock. I woke up the children’s grandmother, saying, “Mother, I do not know what has happened to me; I have gone to the bathroom also and even then water is flowing.” She said, “Daughter, it may be the water flowing that happens at the time of delivery.” I changed two or three salwars [loose Indian pants]. They had a small house. They had made three portions, on the whole it was 170 yards. My father-in-law at that time got it constructed for all three brothers. Now we have merged it into one for all the three brothers. My father-in-law said that he would make it separate for all three brothers. Then their houses became small. Secondly, we used to tie buffalos there and there were no bathrooms. We used to have bath in a tasla [small tub]. So I washed by taking some water in a tasla. My mother-in-law said, “Let’s go for a walk and we will come back after going to the toilet and bathroom. Come with me.” I went with her. I might have gone just half the distance, only a little far away, daughter [to me]. Water was flowing itself like it runs in the bathroom. I said, “Mother,” I used to call her mother. We did not used to use words like Mummy. I said, “Mother, a lot of water is flowing and I am not able to stand,” and she said, “You go home.” Water was flowing itself. I went home. It was nine o’clock. Then we called a Dhanki [a lower caste woman]. That Dhanki was just like that. She checked with her hand and said it is nothing now. I said, “Don’t touch me.” She used to keep long nails, and they used to live dirty. I said, “Don’t touch me, when it will happen I would tell you. There is no pain now.” Then light pains started. At that time, I did not know what happens or what does not happen. My elder brother-in-law, he was away, he came. He said, “Mother, what is the matter?” She said that this is happening with the daughter-in-law. He said, “Mother, we would take her to the hospital.” They took me to the hospital at about ten o’clock. After reaching the medical center, there was a person we knew. He was the husband of a daughter from the village. He was the doctor, and on his recommendation they got me admitted immediately. They gave me glucose and then the pain started. Then I did not know at what time my daughter was born. I was so embarrassed that water was also

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flowing and along with that glucose was also being given. I did not know that one should not use pressure and only when there is pain then we should use pressure. I was using pressure downwards, and the part of my body was emerged outside because I did not know and they did not tell me that I should not use pressure. I was saying to the nurses, but the nurse would say that the child has not come. I said that I am in great trouble. My daughter might have been born at about 1–2 a.m. Then they used to stitch from below and she was not born from big operation. Then they discharged me in the evening. Your uncle [husband] said in the evening that, “you should get yourself operated, even if the girl or boy is born.” Bua [father’s sister] was angry when she heard that, saying, “Brother, I would not let her get operated.” After going home, also he said, “Mother, let her get operated,” but mother refused as well. They denied the operation. I was very happy at the birth of my daughter. I was very happy when both the girls were born. Even now, I don’t like my son as much as I like my daughters. I am telling you the truth. My daughter’s grandfather felt somewhat sad. He wanted the first child to be the boy. Secondly, my husband did not have a job. He did the ITI’s [Industrial Training Institution] course after doing matric. He worked as an electrician after doing the electrician’s course and then he would do the harvesting. He would come on a cycle. There is a milk plant at the Gohana stand. Our fields were on Bhambhavia’s side. After coming, he would do harvesting there. My father-in-law used to say that when a girl is born, it means there must be sorrows coming our way at home. But I used to wish that if God wants to give me a child then he should first give me a girl child. Give me the son later, even if a lot of girls would be born and they don’t let me get operated upon. But how many girls you want to give me, give them at first. Don’t give me a girl after giving a son. So I was very happy. Then a second girl was born. They, in fact, got me the medicines also so a boy would be born, but he was not born. Then your uncle again said, “Get yourself operated.” But then he started crying and his eyes were filled with water that the second girl was born; he didn’t have a job or good income. Then I said, “If there is no problem, then get me operated. I do not need a son, but nobody should say that only girls are born to her.” I started crying when they got upset that the girl was born again. Earlier people used to say things like that, but I felt very sad. Then my sister-inlaw said that people always say things like this, and that I should not cry. She also told me that my eyes were that of a Jaccha [woman who has recently given birth] and they would get damaged if I cry. Then time passed. At the time of the younger daughter’s birth I ate a lot of clay also.

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That’s why she is so dark [she laughs because her daughter’s color was not dark but it was not so fair as her mother]. At her time I ate from the chulha [clay stove]. At the elder daughter’s time such as we used to fill water, we used to go to fields, and there I used to eat that clay of the fields. I used to vomit a lot at the son’s time. I did not have any medicines at the boy’s time. I just did some things at home itself, like eat raw coconut; I only had a little of it and I did not take any other medicine, but I was more embarrassed at the boy’s time. One thing was that my mother-in-law fell ill. I just got pregnant and she fell ill. My father-in-law also fell ill and both were admitted to the hospital. They came back after one-and-a-half months from the hospital. My father-in-law recovered but my mother-in-law faced illness for six months. By making her hang on to my belly, and the belly was so big, by making her hang on to my belly I used to take her outside and inside. I would take her to the toilet, as she was not able to walk. She died after facing six months of illness. She would do toilet in the bed. To make her sit, to feed her, to give her a bath, I would do all of these things. My sisterin-law would come once in a week. She used to live outside; only I was at home, but sometimes she would come. My sister-in-law from Gurgaon came for one month and that from Hasangarh would come once in a week on Sunday. The elder one lived separately. My son was born in 1991. It was my mother-in-law’s wish that a she-calf may be born to the buffalos and a son may be born to her daughter-in-law. Then she would go to heaven. God listened to both of her wishes at that time. Then after two months she passed away. This son was very naughty. He used to cry a lot. He did not let me take any rest in the day or at night. I had to do work in the day and had to give duty for him in the night. My father-in-law used to keep him. My aunt-inlaw was also very good. They also used to keep him. If I got distressed in the night, then they also would say, “Give him to us and we will keep him.” He would cry until 1 a.m. The girls in comparison were very noble.

Education for Daughters Then their education started. I thought that I would get distressed at home. We had to give 50 rupees for their fees to the school. I started sending her to the school. There she would learn something by sitting in the school. Then, when the elder one grew to be three-and-a-half years old, then I started sending the younger one also. Then the boy was just over one year old, I would send all three to the school. Madam would keep them herself. They were very clean. They did not do toilet or bathroom

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without telling in advance. They did not do it in the cot. They had loose motions [diarrhea] only when they were teething; otherwise they did not have loose motions. If these children gave me any problems then I would have gotten distressed a lot because we had three, four buffalos, fieldwork, and domestic work also; there was no elder person in the house. Only my father-in-law was there. Whatever work a man does it is fine. A woman has to do all of the domestic work. There was sweeping and mopping; we had a pucca [permanent structure, made of brick or cement] house. Earlier it was small; later we constructed a big house. It is 170 yards, but we have made one house in it. Now my elder brother-in-law and my uncle-in-law’s son also live at our house. One brother-in-law has constructed a house in the sector in the city. One has a house in Gurgaon. Earlier they used to live on rent. At that time, we had only our house and farming. My brother-inlaw was patwari [important village official who oversees land records and tax collection] and his pay was one thousand rupees. We would make our ends meet with that. One brother-in-law was a teacher; he had his family with him. He was able to support his family only. My brother-in-law, who was elder than me, would give one thousand rupees to us in Rohtak. Both the families would run our expenses with that. Then he was transferred to Bahadurgarh and we were alone; then he would give us 200–400 rupees. With that, we would run our expenses. We did not have any other income. Then your uncle [husband] bought a scooter in 1988, no in 1989; it was a three-wheeler scooter. He bought it and rode it for two or three years. After selling it, he bought a big car. He made a large loss on the big car. Then he sold it. They [purchasers of the car] said that they would give the money after three-and-a-half years. There was no business so we never received any money. Then we became poor; we did not have any money in our hands. Then her [the children’s] tau [her elder brother in-law] was transferred to Gurgaon. His family lived in a rented house and they would bear our expenditure. Overall, my sister-in-law was also good. She was not like my other brother-in-law, other sister-in-law, or how mothers-in-law usually are. Then when our son was born, my husband bought a car again. This time our work went very well. For the first time, we could now help them [referring to her brother-in-law’s family]. We could also pay masterji [teacher] and them also. My husband did not get a job—we gave the donation [bribe] for an electrician’s job but still there was no job. One has to do something because one can’t make both ends meet on farming alone. Then the girls and our son started going to school. Their fees were 150 rupees. Whatever money their uncle [husband’s elder brother] would give, we would pay their fees with that money. We did not do any other

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spending. It was such that when I would go to my maternal home then I would bring clothes, etc., for wearing from there. For the children also, I would bring from my maternal home. Earlier it was so, it happened in each household in every village that no shoes or chappals [slippers] etc., would be bought for any daughter-in-law. But my brother-in-law would sometimes bring me shoes and chappals. He brought shoes for me many times and he brought chappals too. They were not brought for anyone else. I was the youngest, that’s why they were brought for me. My husband could not find a job so he bought a car to start his own business. Because of that, our business started going well. Then the children’s school fees rose to 200–250 rupees. At that time I decided that I would not send them to a government school; there was no studying and the environment was also not good. The second school was at Gahlawati in Khedi Sadh village; there was a school named J. R. Kishnan. I started sending them to that. That madam was very good. She would say to the children that they should bring their mother here; we like your mother very much. I would go to meet them many times. Then I would say to them that they should teach the children more; you don’t teach them much. Then they would say, “Aunt, we teach them a lot, but Meenee, after coming here sleeps many times.” She was the younger daughter. She used to feel sleepy after having food. I would also teach them to some extent. I would also teach English to them until first and second class. Later, I did not know, but then I would arrange tuition for them. I would say to my daughters, “I am left without studying but I will not let you live without studying. You just work hard and I will do all the domestic chores; I will spend the money on your education; I would not let you face any scarcity. As much as you want to study, I would make you study to that level.” Even now, I was arguing with your uncle about her marriage but he doesn’t listen to me. He is very much elder than me; otherwise I would be arguing with him even now. I said, “Marry her only after her BEd [Bachelor of Education] degree; she has done BA [Bachelor of Arts] and she is doing her BEd and then you can marry her.” Daughter, we went there, to my daughter’s would-be sasural [potential husband’s and in-law’s home] only once and terms were settled there. Now they say that we will educate her ourselves. Now the children have all grown up. When they were very young, I started living in depression. Firstly, all the responsibilities fell on me after the death of my mother-in-law. There was a lot of work and then I had three young children. Then my one sisterin-law and some of my uncle-in-law’s sons started abusing me after consuming liquor. I started saying to your uncle [husband] that “I can’t live here; you just take only one room on rent for our family wherever you

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wish.” When they needed anything, or money, etc., then they would come to me. They used me to give them money. They would come to me for everything. Whether it was a domestic thing or anything else, I could not deny them. Bua [father’s sister] and Tai [father’s elder brother’s wife] would say to me not to show them so much love and bestow favors on them, as I would be sorry later. I would say, “It does not matter?” I would give them whatever I had on me. Even now they have two-and-a-half or three thousand rupees that I gave them, but they don’t repay that money. I think that I should let it just be; someday I might need their help. Earlier, the ladies were good, but since they have started consuming liquor they also become like that. So I said to your uncle, “I don’t want to live here.” I got depression. I have started getting anxiety attacks [feeling giddy]. I could not tell day from night. The daughters grew up; they were in the seventh or eighth class. They reached to the tenth class when we were in the village. When they were in seventh class, we got them admitted to the Jat [dominant ethnic group in Haryana] school. They would come back around two o’clock; that was their daily routine. Now seven years have passed here. We came here in Rohtak in 2004; in 2005, elections took place. I did not ever fear about my daughters. Earlier, they would go to the other side of the village for studying; then I got them admitted in the Jat school. They would commute daily and I would say to them, “Daughter, one thing is that don’t laugh after going outside.” Earlier, it was said: “Beer ko khaye Haansi Aur Mard Ko Kaye Khansi.” [Beer: a woman, Khaye: to eat/destroy, Haansi: laughing, Mard: a man, Khansi: coughing. This sentence means that if a woman laughs unnecessarily, then she is corrupted, because her laughing attracts men toward her. In the same way, if a man does not enter in the house after coughing then it reflects poorly on him. Good men should enter the house after coughing so that women sitting in the house can wear their veil and cover their faces.] It means, the person who doesn’t cough, he is not well behaved. Such as if we are sitting and my elder brother-in-law came into the room, then he would come in only after coughing, so that we can put on our veil after listening to him cough. This is the proper way to enter the house or room. Many girls do not listen and they fall into bad company. I would tell my daughters, “Daughter, your grandfather, etc., would remove you from school. They will not let you go definitely to school. That’s why you should come and go from school in a proper way.” They said, “Mother, you don’t fear, we would come and go properly.” They had done matric living in the village. Then, I sent the elder one to Gurgaon. The daughter in Gurgaon was happy. She lived with my sister-in-law. My sister-in-law and I had lived

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together; she had lived with me. We used to live like sisters. There was no discrimination between our children; no one says these are hers or mine. Her three children have lived with me. I sent the younger daughter there also; the younger did not feel happy there. Then one day we came to Rohtak. Our younger daughter said, “Father, just take only one room on rent here as I can’t study in the village or in Gurgaon.” Within one week we shifted and took a place on rent.

Sarpanch Days I did not have any interest in becoming a Sarpanch, but when someone else would become Sarpanch then I would say they must do good works. It should not be the case that if the Sarpanch is a woman then they are under pressure from their family or society. It was usually said that girls should be only sent to the government school. Girls have nothing to do with going outside the home. I did not have any fears of that kind ever. I have never left my daughters alone. Whenever I would go to their mama’s house [referring to her brother’s house], then I would also take them with me. I just left them at their tai’s [elder brother-in-law’s wife] home. Otherwise, I did not leave my daughters alone even at this house. I don’t feel good without my daughters. When they go somewhere then I don’t feel good. The son may live anywhere; I don’t care for him. After my son completed his 10+2 here, then your uncle said that I would fill the form for presidentship. I said, “OK, you fill.” He filled the form. Then all the villagers said that we will give you the votes, but later people from his panna [side, referring to people belonging to a certain group] stepped back but the people from another panna voted for us. We used to do farming on their land. They knew us and knew that we are good people. I said to my father-in-law, “Kaka [I would call him that], he is saying that I have to fill the form.” He said that my husband had gone crazy. We live with power even without contesting elections. We have a lot of power in the village. What would you get from presidentship? I asked him again, “Kaka, tell me, what should I do? Should I go for filling out the form?” He said, “Daughter, fill it if he [her husband] agrees.” I filled the form and I became Sarpanch. After becoming Sarpanch, I developed some interest about what works should be done. But your uncle did all the work, but I would tell him which work was important and which work is to be done for women. There is no one in that village now between the ages of 8–14 that doesn’t go to the school. We got 5–7 students admitted into the school by paying their fees from our own side. Now we have a Mahila [women’s] chaupal

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[traditional meeting place of the Panchayat] constructed there. All the other chaupals were also repaired. We now also have nurses for the dispensary. We have three nurses. Earlier there was only one, but now there are three. Now there is no problem left in that village. Water resources are also very good. We have installed one tube well for drinking water. Earlier 50 rupees were charged for that but we haven’t charged any money. There were two or three partners in the village; they may be earning some money but we are not. We thought it was good work. There are 250–300 households now supplied with water; there are now two tube wells. We did not get any money for these tube wells. I would say to your uncle that we [note: the government invested] invested two or two-and-ahalf lakh rupees in that but we don’t get any money. He said that if we don’t get anything it is fine; just think that we have done a good work. To provide water is a very good work. Two boys are partners and they are running that tube well. They might have gained something, but they did not give us a single paisa. I would say that we don’t need it, but there should be none who can say that she has misappropriated the funds and this work was not done for us. I have respected the poor and all the guests. I would say to your uncle, “This work is to be done.” Your grandfather [her father-in-law] was with me. He died just four months ago. He became ill and lost his mind such that he would do toilet in bed. I used to remain busy taking care of him mostly. Only if there was some very urgent work then I would go. When there was any special meeting, then I would go, or if there was any work in the bank, etc. then I would go. When we would organize Panchayat meetings in the month of April, we organized two Panchayats in a month; I would go to that also. I would only go for these works. Otherwise, the secretary would come to my home and he would say that this work was to be done. Then I would say to your uncle on the phone that this work is to be done. For the future—now our presidentship is over. After becoming Sarpanch, we got acquainted with so many people. They have taken the new registry for the next Sarpanch, but our stamp [signature stamp] will be valid for one or one-and-a-half more years. Further, I am thinking that we will show the people by doing something. We will not do ill by anyone. We are trying hard to teach our son, but he is somewhat weak in studies. He can’t study as much as the girls are studying. He just says, “I will pass my exams and I will study.” He is now taking his 10+2 exams. Last year he could not pass 10+2. He is just 19 years old; he is not fully 19. The biggest problem in my village is that they were not educating the girls. They were not sending them to the government schools. There were

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five to seven such girls between the age group of 8–14 who are not going to school. Our Jats [dominant ethnic group in Haryana] used to get them admitted; they would send the girls to the government schools. Those who do not have money only, they send their children to government schools. Those who do have money, they send their children to private schools. I used to say that they should educate them in the government schools and arrange tuition; these private schools are like shops. I also got my son admitted in the government school but the environment is not good there. I had to get him out of there within just one year. My viewpoint is that study in government schools but the environment is not good there. The village children spoil the environment; that is the main reason. I would send your uncle to school that he should go and check what is happening there. But in the government schools, money and time is saved. With that many students can arrange tuition. Those who do not have any money should educate their children in the government school and arrange for private tuition. Now the people get distressed that they are educating their children in private schools and the children are not doing well, and then they arrange tuition for them as well. Private schools are like shops. I have gotten many children admitted into government schools. Recently, a girl came to me from Bagad. She said, “Aunt, we need to get my brother admitted to DGV school [name of school] and uncle [husband] has acquaintances with many people; it is near to the Khedi Sadh [name of village].” I told your uncle [her husband] that one girl has come to get her brother admitted, but the school did not take him because he was somewhat weak in English. He has also studied in English medium, but he was from Bagad, that village is near Matanhale. I said, “What would you do in private school?” Now the environment is not good in private schools also. You either get him admitted in CR school [name of school] or, if you want to, we can get him admitted to the CBSE school [Central Board of Secondary Education] or get him admitted in the Jat school. There are less fees in Jat school. He will also remain in your care. Then after some discussion, your uncle got him admitted to the CR. I want to remove the dowry system and to educate the girls. Villagers do not teach the girls after 10th or 12th. They are less happy sending them to college. They get them married after 10+2. There were many girls of my daughter’s age; they are all married now. All the other facilities are available in the village. There is the facility of water; toilet facilities are also available now; school facilities also have been provided. There is dispensary also and women’s chaupal [traditional meeting place of the Panchayat]; all the works are done.

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I do not want to become Sarpanch again because I have many diseases in my body. I cannot now go outside in the sun. I get migraines just as I leave home. I have thyroid problems and cervical problems. I cannot walk on my foot comfortably. Otherwise, I would want to do it because a lot of change has come compared to before. Firstly, now people live in an open environment, such as whatever work is to be done, it will be done after consulting me. Earlier, ladies were not allowed to go outside the house. We would just go to the fields or well. If we had to come to the city then my father-in-law would not allow me. Now after becoming Sarpanch, I have to go to the village. Earlier people would not allow us ladies to go to the chaupal but now we have to go to the chaupal; I have to talk to the males also. Earlier we were never allowed to talk to the males. Now I am absolutely free to talk to anyone. Respect has also increased a lot. There is a lot of change in society. A lot of change has come for the girls. Earlier, girls used to fear going outside. Not only girls, ladies also used to fear. Earlier, boys used to have full freedom to hang around. Earlier boys used to study less. They [people] would send them to the colleges; [but] after hanging around in buses, they would say something to the girls or they would come back after watching cinema. They rarely used to become successful. They would just do matric only because of the fear or their parents would beat them with sticks. They would beat them after going to the school when the results were declared. Now things have changed and girls are getting opportunities and every facility. Girls are also free to wear anything since Indira Gandhi said that girls should have an equal right. There has been a lot of change after that. Now girls and women are free to a great extent. There are no more restrictions, but it is right that some restrictions should also be there. A woman is a woman after all. You can see it, that some restrictions should be there, such as a lady becomes an MLA [akin to a member of the house of representatives] or anything else, then we don’t know if she fully understands her role at home. She can do whatever she wants outside but at home one should behave like a wife, a daughter-in-law, and a mother. It should not be so open. I say the same about the boy also. Boys also should not be as open. There needs to be boundaries. Now there is change in wearing/dressing style, in speaking, in eating. There is a change in everything. Now the girls wear pants and shirts or t-shirts; they wear anything. We were not allowed to even wear pajamas. They did not let the Duppatta [long scarf] off our heads. All these changes have occurred. What were my happiest moments? When I became Sarpanch, then I felt very happy. Then the elder girl was born, and the son [brother-in-law’s son] got a job. Both the daughters-in-law [of my brother-in-law] got the

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jobs. That day was a day of happiness. Then my elder brother-in-law’s son whom I like more than my own son, he got a job. That day was one of the happiest days of my life. He has completed an MTech degree [Master of Technology]. I felt most happy on the day they got jobs. Until this age, not more days of happiness have come; they will come in the future. That would be the day of happiness when my son would get a job and your uncle gains a big profit. I just think that all my children may be settled; all the children may get jobs. Girls may live happily in their home after studying well. I just want this. All these three brothers, my brothers-inlaw, may remain together, as they have been living until now. All my family may live happily such as we are three or four sisters-in-law; there are my younger and elder brothers-in-law. My happiness just lies in this.

KAMLESH IF I WERE THE PRIME MINISTER....

Born among brothers, Kamlesh loved sports. Struck early by the tragic death of her first husband, Kamlesh was more determined. She was loved by the first husband’s family, but her thoughts about the second marriage are striking. Her family didn't want her to remain a widow for life. However, she decided whom she wanted to marry. She didn't want to become a stepmother and was successful in choosing her partner. Outspoken in her personal as well as public life, she takes power into her own hands and goes to see the DC [District Commissioner] about the encroachment. At times she can be quite boastful, but as a Sarpanch she has accomplished a lot. A dynamic woman, Kamlesh not only makes sure the elders get pension but also that the children have a place to play. As a visionary Sarpanch, who came into her own in this role, she wishes to change the face of her village.

Early Days: Childhood and Marriage In Bhadurgarh there is a village named Parnala. I was born there. We were three siblings—two older brothers and myself. Papa is very good and so is mother. One sister died earlier. After that, it was my mother’s strong wish that she should have one more daughter. My parents never discriminated between us; it never happened. In studies I was more intelligent than my brothers. My brothers, of course, were older than me but I was more intelligent than them. They were two classes ahead of me but they failed and I continued passing. I left my brothers behind. After that, my mother wanted that her daughter should become a great doctor or something else after growing up. In childhood, work was something my mother could not do because she was ill. I used to study and do the domestic chores. I used to go to school after doing the domestic chores by getting up early. When mother would be ill, I would get up very early. I had to get up at five o’clock to milk the cattle, get the dung, and then go to school. If mother was feeling well she did the work herself and there was no pressure on me, but when

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she was ill then I had to do all the work. Brothers did not have a job. Our occupation was farming. Father’s job was abandoned. After that, father started to live at home. Brothers used to remain engaged in farming, and then I had to go to the fields also. I had to fetch barsim [a type of fodder] and great millet. I had to do the work in the fields also. We three used to work together. My parents reared us so nicely that we never fought with each other. My brothers are also very good. They support me very much. If something happens to me even now, they come running to know what has happened. There is much love among us [brothers and sister]. Ours was a very large extended family. My father has five brothers. There are 25 brothers of mine [i.e., the sons of those brothers]. Everyone loves me a lot. I never fought with anyone. We were all together— grandmother, grandfather; 50–60 members were in our family. We used to live together. We had no idea who did what work. We played together as well. My teachers were also very good. I was so perfect in sports. My brothers would say that I should not go outside for sports but my father had given me full freedom. I was in hockey, handball, basketball, and all the games. I would go to Ambala and Hisar and all these places to play games. Other girls would also accompany me. We went to many places to play. At that time, focus on games were more; study was less. Our DP sir [the name of her teacher] used to say that Kamlesh would play first. They used to play me in all the games. I would say, “Sir, I do not want to play hockey, etc., because if the ball hits the foot, then the leg would get twisted or sprained.” If I refused, then sir would say, “No, Daughter, you have to play hockey, basketball, and all the other sports.” I used to participate in all the games, and if my brothers, etc., would not let me play in them, then DP sir, who was the class fellow of my father, himself came to talk to my father. “We want to take Kamlesh to Hisar for the games.” When we would go for games then we would also do some practice if the game was scheduled on that day. Then, after playing, we would have a bath and food and then come back. Our madam used to go with us. Madam Dangi used to go. She was very strict. None of the girls could speak unnecessarily because the madam was very strict. Then my father sent me to Hisar and Ambala. Brothers would say that she is a girl and it is not good for her to go outside. But my father would say, “No, I have full trust in my daughter. My daughter is absolutely fine.” My father never prevented me. My father was very good. My mother is also good but sometimes she would say to my father that he should not love his girl so much. But my father would say she is more valuable for me than my sons. My father encouraged me the most. My father never

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considered me a daughter; he used to call me his son. He would say that his daughter was very intelligent in games, studies, and in all the other works. Sons are nil. My friends were also very good. My friends and I are still in touch with each other. One or two friends were my classmates. One is here in Dabada. One or two are in Bahadurgarh. We used to go to the fields together. We used to fetch great millet and fodder. There used to be so many onions and potatoes in our fields, and we used to dig and fetch the onions and potatoes. Once my maasi [mother’s sister] was there. She had six daughters. My maasi was not in good condition so I would give my books and other things to her daughters. I used to keep my maasi’s daughter always with me. I helped her a lot. I used to save money, one or two rupees; then I would spend that money on the medicine for my maasi’s daughter. She also has always supported me. Once I went to the fields with chapattis [flat unleavened bread]. There were a lot of jamuns [a type of fruit] on a tree. Then after giving the chapattis, I climbed the tree. On that tree there were a lot of bees also. Those bees clung to me. They bit me badly. As I was coming down, my mother gave me two slaps and said, “Why did you go to have jamuns?” I told my mother that these were very black jamuns [ripe]. That is why I went to pluck them. Then I fell down from the tree and broke my hand. Mother got my hand bandaged. My grandfather was also very good to me. When we would go for a school trip, if my mother would not give money and would say this is simply the annual routine, and I did not need to go, then my grandfather would give me money separately. My grandfather was very good. I also favored my grandfather a lot. For example, I would fill his hookah [for smoking tobacco through water] and give him good food, etc. I used to do a lot. I have studied until matric [10th grade]. Then I was married. First, I got engaged in Sonipat. My father-in-law was very ill. They hurried the marriage so they did not let me complete my studies. I got married there in 1994. There was only my father-in-law. I mean there were only the father and son. Then both died. He [husband] died in an accident. After two months, my father-in-law died. Five years had passed after my marriage. I got married there before completing my studies. I was married there very soon because we got a good alliance there. They were from Sonipat, he was well-educated and the family was small. Mother, sister, no one was there; he had only his father. They had 10 acres of land. They had a good property also. The name of that village was Jagdishpur. He [father-in-law] was very ill. That’s why my father got me married early. My relations there with these people were very good.

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Even now, those who were my chachi-tai [aunts, the wives of father-inlaw’s brothers] still come to meet me. Then they also died. Then nothing was left there. That’s why I had to come back here. My father-in-law left all the property in my name because he had nobody else of his own. My daughter was born there and she also died. My daughter was only six months old. Nothing had happened to her. She slept quite well in the evening, but when I got up in the morning, she was found dead. Only my father-in-law and I were at home. First my daughter died, then my husband and thereafter my father-in-law. My husband died in an accident. He was going to Rohtak from Sonipat. He bought a house in Rohtak. We were thinking about living in Rohtak. He, at that time, was going to give the deposit money [on an intended purchase]. He went from Sonipat to Bhalaut by road and he had reached Rohat village. A vehicle came from the opposite side; he was on his bike. He crashed into that. He had his own business, his own factory, etc. He was well established. Side by side he used to work as a property dealer also. My father-in-law was a farmer. He used to do farming until he became ill. Both his kidneys were damaged. There is a very big Jankidas hospital in Sonipat. I kept him there for about 20 to 22 days and got all his pus, etc., removed. After recovering, he came back. The tension of his son’s death affected him. He would say, “My son is not alive now, what will happen to me now?” Even then, I would encourage him a lot. I would say, “Father, I am with you. I would not go anywhere and leave you.” But he passed away. My father-inlaw expired two months after my husband’s death. After that, I came back from there after one year. There at that time my husband’s uncles were also very good. It is our tradition called Chamahi [commemorative ceremony six months after the death of a relative] and Barsi [one-year anniversary]. Then, after completing the ceremony one year after my father in-law’s death, I came back from there. I was in sports and Pradhanji [she calls her husband Pradhanji, certain parts of the country refer to the Sarpanch as the Pradhan] was also in sports. We already knew each other. He also had not gotten married. He came to know what had happened to me. Then he talked about our engagement by sending his mother to our home. My father really liked him. I was married here. My mother-in-law was also very good. It was my mother-in-law who demanded me from my parents. My father would say that my daughter would not be able to do work. Then my mother-in-law would say I would not let your daughter work. After coming here, if I went to the fields, my mother-in-law would say that she had promised my parents that she would not send their daughter to the fields. “Why have you come?” she would .

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ask me. My mother-in-law was very good. If I was sleeping, my motherin-law never woke me up. Hardly any mother-in-law can be like this, who does not wake up her daughter-in-law. She never woke me up and never told me to do any work. My life is very good. God gave me suffering first but now he has given me happiness. Now I have two sons. One of the sons is eight years old and the other is nine years. My husband is also very good. He never interrupts me on any matter, wherever I go and whatever I eat. He is a contractor for CC cement of Chudani and Dulhera [names of villages]. He has a 10+2 pass. He is also very good. He does the contractorship and also the work of the finances, etc. He has never interrupted me. Earlier, when I became Pradhan [Sarpanch] I used to feel very shy. Mother-in-law never asked me to go outside; if something happened to someone, then I would not go. My older son is very good at studies. He is very easy-going. My younger son is naughty. He was very naughty from the very beginning. The older son went to his maternal grandmother’s home when he was half-a-year old. There is little difference between the ages of the brothers. The older one was at his maternal grandmother’s home; now I have brought him back. The younger one was with me. The younger one is very naughty. He brings so many complaints against him, even now. He sometimes beats someone; sometimes says something to someone. The younger one is in third class. The older one is in fourth class. Now I keep both of them with me. After the marriage, the family was big here also. There are three brothers of my husband. One of my brothers-in-law is older, my father- and mother-inlaw. My other brother-in-law has three children; one is a small daughter. My older sister-in-law [wife of husband’s brother] is ill today. One sister-in-law is younger, the one between us. We are three sistersin-law. She [the one that is standing near her] has three sons. The older one has four sons. If someone said you have come from another marriage, then my mother-in-law and husband would support me. If someone said that she had a daughter by her previous marriage, then my husband would tell me not to say I don’t have a daughter. “Instead of this you should tell them that actually I have two daughters and I plan to get them married here.” He does not bring up my past and has favored me. In this matter, my whole family is so good, brother and sister-in-law also. They respect me a lot. I respect them and they respect me. My mother lives in Bahadurgarh. My son has come here after living there for eight years. He says, “Nani, [maternal grandmother], please come see me.” Nani does not feel good there without him and he does not feel good without her. That’s why his nani came to meet him yesterday.

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Both my sons were born at Kharkhoda [name of a village in district Sonipat]. There is a doctor named Neelam there. From her treatment, two sons were born to me. My vomiting would not stop. From the beginning, I mean, I took medicine from Bahadurgarh and also from Jhajjar but no one’s medicine worked. Then my husband took me to Kharkhoda. Her medicine suited me so I remained admitted there for three days. After that, I was treated there for all the nine months. The older son was born there; after that, the younger son was also born there after the treatment that was going on there. From the beginning, the treatment was there. There are very good doctors there. In Bahadurgarh there is not such a good doctor as there is there. So many cases have gone to her. The younger son says, “I would also become Pradhan, mother.” He is about to come, you must meet him and see how naughty the younger son is [laughs]. They have gone to study; they are about to come and my older son is very noble. He even now says, “Mother, I want to become a doctor.” The older son is in fourth class. Earlier he lived in Bahadurgarh and went to DSM school [name of school] in sector six but now both sons are in Ganga International. It has opened now in Kablana [name of village]. In my first marriage, after all the deaths there was so much pain and grief and I felt that everything was finished. After that, my life was destroyed. I would think, “Oh God! So much grief has come to me.” Before my engagement [to current husband], the grief was so much that I could not pass the days. If days were passed, then nights were not passed. After that, the proposal came from here [the present husband]. We knew each other at that time. Other marriage proposals came but the men were widowed and had children. I did not want to marry a man who already had children. I did not want to be a stepmother. I would say that if I marry, I would marry a bachelor and we should already be familiar with each other. My husband supports me a lot. If he is not at home and I go outside alone, he never asks why I went alone. If some big officer came some time, for example, Depender came [he is the local member of parliament], I would feel so shy. I would ask my husband, should I wear the veil or what should I do. He would say, “Just wear a little bit, no need to do more.” If the whole family would sit and some program was going on, if I would go, I would say, “How should I sit before them?” He would say, “There is nothing to feel shy about, put a little veil on and sit down.” I would say that I would not sit on the stage. I would not be able to sit on the stage. He would say, “There is nothing to be shy about; you must just sit down.” In fact, my elder brother-in-law would sit on benches and I would sit in front of them, even though it does not appear good. Even then,

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my husband did not say that you cannot go or sit there or you must stay home. No, it was all so good.

Sarpanch Days Once there was a flood. The crops of all the villagers were destroyed. So many elder grandfathers-in-law were there. Then they started to go to [District Commissioner] office by tempo [three-wheeled vehicle]. They said, “Beti [daughter], you come with us because Pradhanji [her husband] is not here today.” I was feeling shy also because there were approximately one hundred villagers. They said to me, “Daughter, there is no need to wear a veil. There are so many other ways to stay modest, my daughter. There is no modesty in wearing a veil; take off the veil,” and I had to take off the veil. They told me that I was going to the offices with them. If I wore a veil, then it would not appear good. That day my veil was opened. After becoming Pradhan I gained some courage. Then I started going everywhere. Our DC [District Commissioner] was Madam Suprabha Dahiya. She specifically called me two or three times. She would say to my husband that he should bring Kamlesh with him. Then he took me to her. Then that madam made me understand very nicely. “Beta [similar to daughter], you are the Pradhan and you must learn to do your work yourself.” After that, she removed my shyness so much that I started doing all my work related to the DC office and block. Pradhanji [husband] would do his own work and I managed all the work related to the Panchayat; for example, to call the members, to assemble them and, if there was a meeting, I would do all the work myself. There had been encroachments on the Panchayat land for 50 years. That land belonged to the Panchayat and they were not releasing the encroached land. They would say that even a sparrow could not flap its wings without their wish. Who can then dare to remove the encroachments? Pradhanji had gone many times but they were not removing the encroachments. I mean, they were served notices two or three times. But they did not remove the encroachments. One day, I asked Pradhanji whether I should go today. He said, “Would you go?” I said, “Yes!” He said, “Go.” He had met the SDM [Sub-Divisional Magistrate] sir two or three times. SDM sir gave the time for 10 days for a hearing. But there was no hearing. One day I had had enough and decided to go to the SDM office. I was alone, only the son of my brother-in-law was with me and nobody else. I directly went to Bahadurgar then SDM sir gave me the time. I directly met him. I said, “Namaste ji” [a greeting]. He asked me to sit down. I said,

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“You have spent two months making us wait and wonder about what was going to happen. Today you yourself were supposed to come to the village and see what is happening there. All the villagers are assembled and they do not remove encroachments. Now a very big animal hospital will be built there. One Nadiwala plant of water filtering was installed.” I sat there stubbornly so that he would have to come with me today. “The whole village is assembled there. If you don’t go today, I would go to the DC [District Commissioner] or SP [Superintendent of Police].” After saying just that, SDM [Sub-Divisional Magistrate] sir panicked. He said that he did not have time on that day. I said, “Will you give me in writing when you will come or should I go directly to the top?” He said, “Madam, please give me the time today; I will come tomorrow.” I said, “I will be waiting for you at the hospital land at 10 a.m.” He said, “It is fine, madam.” Then SDM sir came there at 10 a.m. and the whole village was assembled. SDM sir said to me, “Kamlesh ji, sit down,” and I sat down and then he started asking, “Yes, tell me now who is not removing the encroachment.” I was less familiar with the other side of the village. I did not have much knowledge. Now I have more knowledge. “If Manohar removes his encroachments, then all the others will be removed.” He asked, “Who is Manohar?” Manohar was standing beside me. I did not know that he was Manohar. And I was saying, “Call Manohar.” Kali and Manohar are two brothers of Thakurs [name of an upper caste]. They also contested the elections against me. They were called. Then that boy questioned me in front of the whole Panchayat about what have I done since becoming Pradhan. I said, “What have I not done? All the streets were made. There were a lot of problems of water, then water projects were installed.” They said that the water projects were installed on dry ground. I said, “I could have built it at your home if I could; just give me three acres of land in the village.” We have no Panchayati land in the village. SDM sir was very happy with how I handled them. He said, “Madam, you replied in such a good way. It is very good.” SDM sir gave him 24 hours to remove the encroachment. They said that our house is built there. That house was a kaccha [temporary structure often made with clay or mud] house. Fodder filled that room. SDM sir asked him to remove it from there and a hospital would be built there. When SDM sir gave them the time of 24 hours, even then they did not remove it. Then I thought that it is a very big matter. Then again I went to meet the SDM. SDM sir said, “Did they not remove it?” I said, “No sir. They did not listen to you. How would they listen to us when they did not listen to you? You gave them 24 hours and they did nothing in that time.” He said that he was going out that day. I said, “No, sir, today you should

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go and get the encroachments removed. You are not going out today.” He said, “No, madam, I don’t have the time today.” Then SDM sir left. I said, “I am going to the DC sir today.” I reached the DC sir directly from Bahadurgar. DC [District Commissioner] sir met me very nicely. He was having lunch. So much time was spent and it was getting late. He wore spectacles and he was short. His name was Sindhu or something like that; I don’t know his name. He was having lunch and I went and said the thing is like this and I talked to him. I said that two months have passed and they are firmly standing there and not even a single encroachment has been removed. He asked whether I’d gone to the SDM [Sub-Divisional Magistrate]. I said, “Yes sir. SDM sir spent two months making us wonder and wait. I met the SDM the day before yesterday. He asked them to remove the encroachments but they did not. Today I will go to the village only when you will send the police force with me. I need nothing else, only send four cops with me. The machine is my own and I will overthrow it myself.” The DC sir started saying, “Madam, so much hurry.” I said, “Today I will go only when you accompany me.” DC called the police station, which is also in Bahadurgar. SDM sir then wanted to talk to me himself. Just after DC sir told him that Kamlesh from Chudani has come. “Why is the encroachment not being removed, what is the matter?” I said that he [SDM] might have taken something [bribe]. I said that he might have taken something because he that had encroached the land was the bodyguard of our chief minister, and his two sons were in government service. Then my tongue slipped and I said that they might have given something to SDM sir. That’s why he has been making us wait and wonder for two months. He said, “Madam, you take my number.” DC sir himself gave me his number and said to me that I should go directly to the police station. I reached Bahadurgar. Just after reaching Bahadurgar, they started saying, “Let us go to the police station.” The station house officer [SHO] was so bad that I had to scold him. He said that there were no lady police so they could not come. I said that I am alone sufficient. After that, I said, “I don’t need lady police, only you come.” I said that the whole village was standing there. There would not be any fight with lathies [big sticks]. Bullets would not be shot there. The whole village was with us at that time. He [the policeman] started behaving whimsically. One time he would forget his cap at the station and another time some other things. He was stalling. I was so angry that if I had more power, I would have broken his jaw. The time was four o’clock but I did not leave. I wanted to bring them all with me to take care of the matter that day. Then, six or seven

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cars came; ahead of them were the naib tehsildar, small [sub] tehsildar, big tehsildar and patwari, [important village officials who oversee land records and tax collection], etc. The SHO [Station House Officer] said that I should call someone, like the Panchayat officer. The Panchayat officer was on leave that day. I said, “Why should I call the Panchayat officer? My secretaries and I are here. My secretary would manage the work and I am doing the work. What is your problem? You only have to come. I will call the DC [District Commissioner] sir again.” Then they took out two cars and left. Then in only 10 minutes after pulling down the building on the encroached land, victory was achieved. Now all the encroachments have been removed from there. Go and see how much good is happening. A double-story building is built there and the animal hospital is being built. Then there was the land of the johad [pond] that was so deep that I had to get it filled 20 to 25 feet. Now after filling in the earth, a filter is installed there, Aquaguard Machines of Nandur. There is the animal hospital there. That is discussed in Chudani even today. Old people would say to me, “Daughter, you have done the work that nobody else had done until today.” Everyone says this thing. The encroachments were so very strong. All these grandmothers ask me where I learned to speak like this. I reply that your son here has taught me. She said, “We never saw you speaking earlier.” I said that I did not speak. I speak only when the time comes. Now in the whole village filtered water is coming. Mostly we fetch our own water. They have cans given to them. They take 150-160 rupees monthly—150 rupees have to be given in advance and after that they pay monthly. I don’t know what their process is. I myself have got my water installed. I do not fetch water; all others do. Once it happened that the old-age pension was cut. I took all those ladies in a tempo. I took them to the ADC [Assistant District Commissioner] office. I said, “Look at them. Have they not met the age requirement [for the old-age pension]? These helpless women would be 65 to 70 years of age.” ADC sir then ordered from the top that their pension should be given. Today those women are so happy. They all have pensions now. I had to do this type of work for many people. I had to go to the police station about the encroachments. After that, the shyness I had was removed. He [her husband] had applied for an allIndia license. One day he was just saying to me that his file had not been approved and it had been a long time. I said, “Why is this file not coming out when all the files of the villagers are coming out?” I said that those people’s whose licenses are being approved are nothing. And he [her husband] had applied two times and there was no action. The office worker said that DC sir had not ordered it yet. Then I went to the DC sir

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again. Just after my arrival there, my brother from Parnala came. He said, “Jiji [sister], you are getting the Pradhanji’s file approved. Get my file also approved.” I said to the DC sir, “I have put in my file two times, but both times it was not approved.” DC [District Commissioner] sir signed it immediately. Will I contest the election again? In the village one cannot contest every time. This time it is not the turn of our panna [side, referring to people belonging to a certain group]. This time the turn is of bhure’s side. This time they are contesting. It is number-wise here. Today, approximately 50 people came. They were saying that we made you [Sarpanch]; now you’ve made us. I said, “Okay, Chacha [uncle].” In cities it is like that, Guddo [she says to her sister-in-law, who is sitting near her on bed; her name is Guddo], who does the good work? People make him the Sarpanch but in villages it is by number. As such, so many ladies come and say, “Kamlesh, contest once more, we need you only.” They say, for example, the Dhanki, Chudi, and Chamars are there [name of the scheduled castes/lower castes] and they will all support you. That lady Chachi Santara [Aunt Santara] who came here to drop you is so poor. She earns her livelihood by sweeping and mopping the floors of others. She has small children. Fifteen to 16 years have passed since she became a widow. She is greatly obligated to me; I took her to the DC and got her name added to the BPL [Below Poverty Line] list. Now she says that Kamlesh did her work. No one else got it done. Even now she says that before all the people. Madam, she lives in their home [Dayarani’s] and she also became Pradhan but she did not get it done for her. She says that she [Santara] praises Kamlesh because she alone got it done for her. There were many other women whose works were not done until now, and I got them done. And even now, from Dhanaks the women keep coming here and say that I should contest; they need me only. We did not used to be able to talk to any Pradhan like this as you listen to us, making us sit beside you. Not a single day is there when I rest. There are always people coming. I don’t have time to clean up or get ready. I get up at five o’clock and milk cattle; just get up, wash my face, brush my teeth, and milk the cattle. After coming back I prepare tea. Before awakening the children, I wake him [her husband]. I give him tea, etc. Then I wake up the children. Children go to the bathroom, brush their teeth, wash their faces, then I give them breakfast. After making them bathe and prepare for school, etc., the daughter-in-law [wife of her brother-in-law] prepares some food and helps with some domestic chores if [brother-in-law] understands. If he gets short-tempered, then I do them myself. Sister-in-law [wife of the elder

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brother of her husband] also helps me sometimes. Elder brother-in-law, elder sister-in-law, and her two sons are with me. Her one son has died; one daughter is married. These are the three. One sister-in-law is separated now; otherwise she was also with me. She parted from us just five or six months ago. We work together. And now the younger brother-in-law’s [older than my husband but younger than the eldest brother-in-law] son and his wife live here. Their son who is born now, these, and these, many people live together. Besides this, on Puranmasi [the day of full moon] we go to kindle the jyot [lamp]. There is acknowledgment of Puranmasi [religious belief] here. You go to this temple; we go to another temple. On the dooj of Puranmasi [second day of full moon], we often kindle the jyot there and on Chaudas [14th day of the full moon], we pray to our Dada Bhaiya [family religious God]. We kindle the jyot for our Dada Bhaiya. If we get time in the morning, then after getting up we kindle the jyot also. Otherwise, in the evening it is definite. How would I spend my free day? I would go traveling. Due to this Pradhani [presidentship], we were not able to go anywhere; now for 10–20 days we could go for a trip. Five years have passed and rarely have we been able to go traveling because we are not both able to go anywhere. Because of being the Pradhan, I have to attend marriages of Chamars, somewhere in Chudas, somewhere in Dhanales [names of lower castes]. I did not have the desire to become a Sarpanch earlier. It was Pradhanji’s wish [Note: she is the Pradhan but constantly refers to her husband as Pradhanji]. My father would say that there is nothing in the presidentship only abuses one has to listen to. Nothing is in it; don't do it. He [her husband] had such a strong desire, Madam, from the beginning. The election was on the day of my marriage. My marriage and the elections were on the same day. At that time, there was a reserved seat; otherwise he would have contested it at that time. This time, I said to him persistently, “Why are you thinking of contesting? Let it be; leave it. Nothing is in this presidentship, why do you want to listen to abuses?” He would say, “So much work has to be done in the village and the president can appropriate the funds to get the work done.” I would tell him, “Let it be, I don't want to argue with you.” He would say, “I will contest the election even if it would ruin me.” Then there came the lady’s seat. Now what can I do? I can’t disobey him. He said, “Let’s fill in the form.” Then I am not so stubborn that I would say that I would not fill the form. He filled the form in my name. I once said jokingly that I would not fill the form. He said that he would get the form signed by anyone else in my name, as it isn’t the case that one must personally sign the paperwork to contest. [This means that it is not necessary that she would sign herself. He

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would get her signature written by someone else.] There are my sisters-inlaw and others. He said that he would get the form signed by someone else; you are not necessary for the signature. Who went canvassing? He also went canvassing. Only one or two such houses were there that, because of previous differences between them and us, I did not go. I had already said to him that I would not go to their homes for canvassing. Even if I lost, I would not go to their homes. My husband went to their homes. I myself went, for example, in Balmikis or Chamars; I went to the places of all. Only in one or two houses I did not go. After becoming Sarpanch, it felt very good that his dream was also fulfilled. Now after becoming Sarpanch, I don’t get time for myself. I have to wear unironed clothes and you see the clothes that are lying. There is domestic work to be done, but when someone comes I need to stop my chores. I mean, not a day passes when someone doesn’t come. When there is a quarrel, then women come. Yesterday, one such lady came. She said, “Someone has stolen the rod of my hand pump.” “How can I search for your hand pump’s rod? If you have seen anyone then tell me, I will get it back to you. How else can I search for your rod?” Now if there is a fight, people would come running to call others to help. Yesterday two came after giving reports, so when the policemen came, I had to work on their reconciliation. Hardly any day goes by when there is no fight. After becoming Sarpanch, nothing appeared bad to me. Only when we get the work done for some person and after that they say that you have done nothing for us; that hurts. It does not feel good to me. Yesterday morning, I scolded one Dhanki [a woman belonging to a lower caste]. I said, “Until today no one else got your pension made; only I did it. In BPL [Below Poverty Line] I wrote your name.” Then she said that she was just joking. I said that she should feel ashamed. “Only one drain is not made; your drain will be fixed.” Also, I have said that “Jiji [sister], money is blocked; after getting the money, I will get you your drain. Other streets on your side have drains. Then why do you say that nothing has been done”? She said that I should get her brother’s pension too. I said, “If you get all the things done now, what will you get done by the next Pradhan?” In Dhanales, six ladies are such that they do not give up the pursuit for two or three hours. They go after asking all the things. Such things happen in Balmikis also. Many such ladies come and sit. What should I say to them now but, “Sit down, Jiji”? I also feel very good in going to the meetings. Whether I go to the block or Jhajjar, all respect me a lot. They say “Namaste.” Our BDO [Block Development Officer] sir also, I mean, now there is our Rathi sir, chacha is there [Mr. Rathi is her uncle]. Madam, all would say, I mean,

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here none of the ladies do the work. They get very happy to see that Kamlesh is one of a kind, like Jhanksi ki Rani [famous Indian queen and warrior]. They say that she is managing all the things and she is maintaining the village and doing all the work. When the secretary sir said in a meeting that we are to bring all the members today, then I brought all the members. First I took the watchman after calling him. We go by our own car. If on a particular day the car is not there, then we go by auto. If we are to go to Jhajjar, then there is one auto fixed. He takes 150–200 rupees. For going to Bahadurgar or Jajjar, we hire him. All the other Sarpanches there also talk very nicely. Now she does not come, otherwise sometimes Nirmala from Kharmana [name of village] also meets, but she comes only sometimes, when it is urgent. They take the female Sarpanch only when it is necessary; otherwise nobody takes her with them. Some members go there, madam. Lady Sarpanches go very less; only their family members go. So from Kharar [name of village], this Vijender goes. I say to him, “You should bring bhabhi [brother's wife] also.” These are our goti [we are of the same gotra, that's why she calls him brother] so brother talks to me very nicely. I say to him also, “You should bring her sometimes.” Then these from Kharman [name of village] are also there. I also say to them, “Bring Nirmala with you.” They say that she remains busy with her grandsons and granddaughters. And this old woman from Dulhera [name of village] is there, she can’t hear properly. I have four female members. I take them all. If there is a meeting, I call the Panches by sending the watchman. In our village as a whole, lots of work remains to be done. For example, playgrounds are made everywhere else but in Chudani there is not one. This one wish remains. I have a great desire for playgrounds. There are small children. Plots are very small and they play in those plots. My heart hurts to see this. In Chudani lives our Sehwag, Virender Sehwag [Indian cricket player]. Here in the middle of the village, there are three acres of land belonging to his family. Would he be ruined if he gives this house? So many big houses are lying, equal to half the village. If he had given the land, such a good playground would have been made. This is their own land, Madam; their family is very big. They are many brothers, his father, etc. Nobody lives here, Madam. Those houses are falling down because they are old. They all are gone. They all live in Jajabgar. So there are a lot of plots and houses. They have a lot of space. It rankles a lot in my eyes. If Virender came in to write it in the name of the village, then there would be a playground here. All would be happy; there would be games of all types in the village. Now in Dulhera, Uncle Umed, the Pradhan from Bharya, made a playground. He is a very good person,

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Madam. I called him especially. He is the Pradhan of a total of 12 villages. When I go, he makes me sit on stage very nicely. He introduces me to all and respects me very much. He also encouraged me a lot. He said, “Daughter, knowledge is gained after going outside.” He is very good. The whole village does not support him, even though he filled the deep johad [pond]. He said, “Pratal, brother, this would have to be completed.” My husband said, “Sure, we are with you, with sand, and with labor, and in all ways.” Then he sent the sand from Chudani. Now such a good ground is being made there. There was a johad in Dulhera, so deep; now after filling it, now a stadium is built there. What else do I want in my village? Just one playground and another thing is that our hospital is small. It is said that space is less and Panchayati land is far away. I wish just that this hospital would be built a little bigger. One is a playground, and the animal hospital that has been built is very good. If I would be a prime minister, then first of all I would correct all the things that are going wrong. Wherever we go, nobody listens. We go to the police station, bahanchaud [abusive word], nobody listens. In the DC [District Commissioner] office also I had to say this. Now people from the welfare department are making us worry about a Balmiki’s card. I have gone to Jhajjar ten times. That helpless widow, her daughter got married so CM [Chief Minister] gives 31,000 rupees for kanyadan [giving of one’s daughter in marriage]. There was so much work to get the card made. We needed the birth certificate of the boy, an introduction to the whole family of the boy, so much bothering. I mean, she is illiterate, from where am I going to show her checkbook, from where to open her account? I mean, they gave us so much tension in this work. I have gone ten times to the welfare department in the DC office. This time I met the DC especially. I said that the matter is this. Then he asked whether her daughter had studied until the fourth or fifth class. I said, “Yes, she studied.” First, we arranged her documents. That girl is 19 or 20 years old. Because she studied until the eighth or tenth class, her school documents were found. The widow did not have a checkbook because she was illiterate. Then I got her domicile built. The DC sir was gone, but the CM sir ordered and said, “Make a joint account for her with her daughter and give her the checkbook.” Then they gave the checkbook and her documents were submitted. Once I went to the medical center in Rohtak. Our elder daughter-inlaw’s delivery, she was referred from Jhajjar. I mean you would say I quarreled there with a khaki-uniformed person. I said, “Listen, many people come to our house like you. I never listen to anybody.” Guddo, he said, “Bring the pass from inside. Now, Jiji [sister], you tell me, should I

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go all the way to get the pass?” I said, “Why? We have come here; there must be a good reason for that. What do you have to do with it?” He said that he would not let me go without a pass. I said, “We were going to get food; we were dying of hunger from evening. I have come to get food, so would I show you pass every single time? You are on service here or I am doing service here?” He said, “I will not let you come inside.” I said, “Don’t let me come; I will tell you after coming back.” I did not bring the pass; one person ahead had heard and said to me, “Where are you from?” I replied, “From Chudani.” Then one lady who was with me, she said that I am the Sarpanch. Those two cops greeted me. One Dedh [word for a lower-status person] is also here [she is talking about the khaki-uniformed person]. It appears to me that he belongs to the lower caste because if a lower caste person gets power, then he starts jumping. Then he, who was standing ahead, said, “I would tell him.” Then he did not ask for her pass while coming back. I said that you have to let me go now. Then two more ladies were standing while coming back. They asked, “Who is the Pradhan from Chudani?” I thought, “What is the matter, has he told them?” I asked, “What is the matter?” They replied, “Are you the Pradhan from Chudani?” I said, “Yes.” They asked what I was saying there. I replied that he was asking for my pass again and again. When we have to go through here many times to bring medicine, why should we have our pass every time? She said, “No, you go.” I said, “Either stop him or I will beat him.” My life changed after becoming Sarpanch. Earlier I was very simple and noble. Now I have knowledge of all the things, the best is this. Now there has been a lot of change in me; earlier I had very little knowledge. I did not know anything; earlier I had never been outside the house. After becoming Sarpanch, so much more knowledge was gained that earlier I did not even know. Where are the children’s birth certificates issued from? Now I came to know even that. Jhajjar Medical, the police station, and what is done where, I came to know everything. I mean, what work is done where. I have become very intelligent compared to earlier. Now I am not so simple. Our society is also progressing day by day. Earlier, when we used to go outside, then DC [District Commissioner], ADC [Assistant District Commissioner], and Pradhans did not used to meet. Now everyone has found the way. It was said earlier that without a Pradhan, no works would be done. But now nobody cares about Pradhans. Now, when the BPL [Below Poverty Line] surveys were done, I gave many names. Then I went myself. Those whose names should have been in the BPL were not there but the people who are in service [have reasonable incomes] have their names. I went to meet the ADC [Assistant District Commissioner] sir. The

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soldiers did the wrong survey. ADC sir asked, “Would you get the names of people who are in government service cut?” I said, “I would get them cut.” He said that no one has said anything like that until today, that I would get their ration cards cut; only I have said that. I said, “When the listings are wrong, I would get them cut, and those that are very poor, they are not listed. So many such people live here; for example, many widows are there and they have small children. They don’t have BPL [Below Poverty Line] cards even now, after I forwarded their applications. They do not have any support. It is said that surveys would be done again. I don’t know when that would happen, Madam. Nothing seems to be happening now. First time, the pension came then it was stopped. Twentyfour widows’ pensions were stopped. A villager would say that Kamlesh has appropriated the funds.” There are so many such people who would say that the Pradhan has appropriated the funds. I said, “Either keep all the pensions money directly and distribute it along with the next.” Then the festival time was near. There was Holi at that time. They said, “Take it and add some from your home.” Many helpless women came to me and started saying that today, in our homes, a stove would not be lit [food would not be cooked]. The budget was too low. Hooda [chief minister of Haryana] has invested the money somewhere else. Now there is no budget, it is told. I gave from my house to those ten. Now I think about my children only. Our life is complete. I just hope that my children will become something after studying and I think of nothing else. We went to a marriage. There was the marriage of my husband’s brother’s daughter. Since his brother was older, I started wearing a veil before him. Then my younger sister-in-law said, “Do not wear a veil now that you have become Pradhan.” I said that my presidentship is in Chudani; here is our own family. She said, “No, you should feel less shy.” Jiji [sister-in-law] tells me every time; whenever we meet then she tells me how to behave outside and the whole thing. In my maternal home, there was a good water facility. There were hand pumps in all houses. After coming here, I fetched water 20 times. There was no water in the house. Pradhanji took a bath with two buckets. Two were poured in cooler; I took a bath with one, did the dishes with two. So I carried plenty of water here. There were hand pumps in all the houses in my maternal home. There I did not do so much work. Now there is plenty of water.

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Power, Agency and Day-to-Day Life My mother in this matter [about beating and scolding] was very sharp. Once my maasi [mother’s sister] called me to attend a marriage. My friend who was supposed to come for the marriage was not there so I was sent to bring her. I went to call her on my bicycle and saw from the opposite side a person on a motorcycle coming towards me very fast. I turned my cycle on the other side to avoid the motorcycle but behind me was a car. The driver slammed on the brakes but it bumped into the cycle. I fell down then and my knees were wounded. I was wearing a suit and my suit got torn. I came back home. I was married at that time. I came back home. My mother saw that I fell down from the cycle. She beat me. I felt so sad that on the one hand I am wounded and my mother beat me. I said, “I will never come to your place. Did you not feel ashamed that you beat me?” She said, “Don’t come.” Besides this, my maasi said that she would also beat me like this. Later my mother wept and I said, “Mother, you should not have beaten me. You did not think that an unmarried daughter can be beaten but why did you beat me after marriage?” She said that she was afraid and frightened to see me hurt and so she beat me. That day was unfortunate for me. Then a sweet maker was throwing the hot water out of the container. That also fell on me and my feet got burned. I blamed my mother. “Today you have beaten me, that’s why you gave me all this misfortune.” Then my mother wept a lot because something could have happened to me if I went under the car. Then my mother went to the sweet maker also. She said, “Dhedhon [abusive word], were you blind that you did not see the girl?” They said that they were throwing water and this sister came suddenly. My mother loves me a lot. If you stay here for 10 minutes, my mother will be here. She would tell you many things about me. My older brother was also very good. He did not say anything to me. My younger brother was so good for nothing [but here the word “good for nothing” has been used to show the strictness of her brother]. There were two girls in the village and their character was a little bad. If they would talk to me, then he would ask, “Why did you talk to them?” Just after coming back home, I came back from school and he would see that I was with them and he would get upset. They were fashionable and were headstrong so my brother did not like it. My older brother is six years older than me and the younger is two-and-a-half to three years younger than me. So just after coming home, he slapped me. He said, “Why did you come with her?” I said, “Has she eaten me? If she is bad, she is for herself. I am not bad nor am I following her. You tell me, why did you slap me?” He said, “Why

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did you come with her?” On that day, my mother was gone to the fields. He beat me several times. Many days earlier, I went to throw the dung in the plot, and one of the girls was taking tea towards the plot. Their fields were on that side. She came to me. My brother saw me again; he had earlier also slapped me because of this thing. He said, “Why did you talk to her?” On that day, he slapped me just after coming back from school. Then one day, I also slapped him. I said, “If you slap me today then I will smash your head.” In our village there was an old man; I asked him, “Why were you puffing bidi [local cigarette] with him? I would have thrown a brick on you over there. You judge me but you are not perfect. If that girl talks to me, then what is the problem?” Then he never raised his hand to me. Otherwise, he would beat me a lot. What about periods [mensuration]? I did not have any knowledge about that. My mother told me. My mother had started saying things to me. In fact, it happened to me very late. I was in ninth class when this happened to me. Then my mother would say go after wearing underpants [padded underwear] daily. Don’t say that I will not wear them. She had bought many for me. So I would wear them daily. So mother had already told me. My mother is very good. She tells me everything she knows. My mother did not have such knowledge of inside and outside the house. Our family was not so big. My father and his siblings are five brothers. Then there were big sons of those five. All of them loved me. If I rode the cycle quickly, then they would say, “We will throw you beneath the tires, otherwise ride slowly.” I used to come on cycle from Parnala to Bahadurgar. I rode the cycle quickly because the heat used to be scorching so I would think that if I rode the cycle faster, I could reach home in 10 minutes. Even now, after becoming Pradhan, anganwadi games were going on here. In school, the supervisor said, “Kamlesh, take the women to Dulhera.” I said, “Why should we go to Dulhera? We should organize the games in our own village. If we take them to Dulhera, there would be many other ladies there. What is known is Chudani will be left behind.” Then the people would say that Chudani lost. I said that I would not take them. She asked me whether I would bear the expenses from my own home. I said, “Seven hundred rupees have come and I will add another 700 rupees. Would there not be a very good program for 1,400 rupees?” Then I called the photographer here and brought the small and big plates and organized the games here. To keep the potato in the spoon, one bori [sack] race—six games were organized here. In the sixth game, in cycling, only a few players were participating. Then they said that I should participate in the cycling race. I said, “I have not been riding a cycle for many years, leave

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it.” She said, “No, one female doctor has come with a bicycle from the hospital. Two girls are from Dhada [name of village].” I was feeling shy. I said that they would leave me behind and that they were unmarried. Then on the day of the games, I was feeling shy that if I lost then they would say, and Pradhanji would definitely say, “Did you not feel ashamed, why were you participating?” Then Madam, I won. I came in first. One thing was that they were unmarried; one was from another side of the village, then another came, she was pregnant, one was a Chamar [person belonging to the lower caste]. In Charmars, there were two daughters-inlaw. Two were in Charmars, two were unmarried, one other was there, and I was the sixth. Six rode a cycle. I won out of the six. The one who is SMS [name of another village] Pradhan, one is Sheela, and she gave me the prize. Then my husband came to know that the Sarpanch had won in cycling that day. He started saying in the evening, “Did you not feel ashamed, you giving the award to yourself? You are Pradhan.” I said, “One other was the SMS Pradhan; we both were Pradhans. If she had won, I would have given the prize to her. I won so she gave it to me.” My father keeps telling me, “Daughter, don’t refuse to do anyone’s work.” In my childhood, father was in service. There is the CNC factory [name of factory] in Bahadurgar; my father was manager in it. In childhood, my father spent very little time with us. Then in the factory the laborers said something against the owner. There was a strike. At that time, my father’s service was terminated. Before that time, father’s service was permanent so he used to give less time to us. He used to come in the morning and go on duty in the evening. My father owned land in the village. A road was being constructed on our land. We got the compensation for the land. Then my father bought two cars. We were still young. Father at that time bought one Ambassador and one Matador [brand of a car]. Wherever my father would go, he took us along. When we would go to school, father would say, “Let’s go, I’ll drop you there.” My father was so good from the beginning that if my mother would say to him, “Don’t buy her frocks, she is growing up,” my father would reply, “I will purchase them, and my daughter will wear them.” I mean, my father has loved me a lot. My father even now and earlier also loved me. In the beginning also, when father would come to Bahadurgar by car, then my school was on the way. My brothers and others would say that father brings things only for our sister and not for us. My father would give most of the things to me. Even now, whatever is the matter, he always keeps asking what do I want. When he would go to school, he would pass the car through the school and take me on that. When I would leave the school, then I would be so happy that my father

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went after dropping me in car. Otherwise, many people were there, I mean, who have many daughters. My tauji [father’s older brother] had three daughters. My tauji would say abusive things to them, very bad abuses to my tauji’s daughters. I would feel very sad that my mother saw my tau give so much abuse; it was not good. My father would never use abusive language. My father would talk very nicely. My father never talked to me without saying “Beta” [this word is usually used for the sons, but for daughters also to show that they are no less than sons]. Even now, I feel so shy when he says Pradhanji Ram-ram [greeting] to me. My grandfather and others were so good that my mother and chachi-tai [aunts], none of them got operated on [for not having more children]. My grandfather would say that until the time God gives children, take it as a gift from God with great love. For my mother and father and my grandfather, there was no difference between a son and a daughter [there was no discrimination between sons and daughters]. I have three bua [father’s sister]; my grandfather never discriminated. One or two houses were there that used to treat their daughters poorly but my grandfather and my father never did that to their daughters.

SHASHI BALA WE GOT THE TOILETS MADE

Shashi Bala had a loving relationship with her mother, who influenced her to grow up to accept everyone. She grew up in a joint family and was married into one. She talks about her close relationship with her sister-inlaw [her husband’s sister] and her condition after her sister-in-law’s death. As Sarpanch, she helped get pensions for the villagers. She also helped maintain hygiene by building toilets. She hopes her village will get a prize for the development works that have happened there. She is a deeply conflicted person who is trying to find the best in everything. She laments the fact that Panches [members of the Panchayat] don’t come to the meetings regularly so work gets halted. She doesn’t blame them as they have to work in the fields. Her husband appears to be the primary decision-maker as the Sarpanch. Thus, she voices some of the challenges of using the Panchayat system for development.

Marriage, Household, and Children My name is Shashi Bala. My father was a trader; then he became a shopkeeper. We have a clothes shop. My mother’s name is Krishnavanti and my father’s name is Chamanlal Makkar. We are six sisters and three brothers. Among them, the oldest brother died in 2006. My parents brought me up with great love and affection. I got married in the village of Jethpur. I was born in Kosikala in the district of Mathura Jethpur. I was born on the 7th of May 1963. My childhood passed very nicely. I did not face a shortage of anything in my paternal house also. I was married on 20 April 1988. All the sisters did +2 [12th grade]. My brother has a clothes/textile shop. One brother did 10th, one did BCom [Bachelor of Commerce] and one did +2. I did +2. I did not face any shortage here. My parents were very good. I got lots of love from my mother and my father also. My father used to remain busy in earning activities. My mother loved me. She died nine years ago. She had a heart attack. My older sister used to take me with her to school. I had four or five friends at school. One’s name was Santosh, one’s Neelam; one’s name was Veena. We used

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to play. At that time, we did not know anything. Sometimes we would play sidhi [a game] and sometimes with a bat and ball; sometimes we played with something else. Ours is not a village; it’s a town. We used to play on the road; there were no grounds at that time. My mother used to do the domestic chores. There was my bhabhi [brother’s wife], older than me; bhabhi used to do work. Even now, as I am living jointly in my family, we all lived like that. The domestic responsibilities were on my older brother, whether he would earn a profit or loss. Domestic chores, my mother and bhabhi would do. Some work I also had to do. I used to do kiroshia [crocheting]. I used to make handkerchiefs, etc., after finishing my studies. One day I would prepare food and one day my sister would prepare food, when I was 10–11 years old; I started preparing food from a young age. I would prepare food according to my own wish and my bhabhi [brother’s wife] loved me a lot. My bhabhi never quarreled with my mother. The maximum love one can give to someone, she gave to my parents. The younger brother would fight with me and also love me a lot. My mother never felt that she had six daughters or how many daughters. My parents did not feel any distress that they had so many daughters. I never saw my grandmother; she died before my birth. I never saw my grandfather, either. I saw my nani [mother’s mother] only. My nani loved me a lot. My marriage match was arranged by my nani. My older sister would say that I would get married in the city. My father finalized my matrimony. I was young and I did not speak much because I was shy. I felt shy but my sister was not shy. I was 21–22 years old when I got married. I failed my classes two or three times. My mind used to work less; it used to remain engaged in games. My older sister used to study and do domestic chores too, plus stitching and embroidery. My friend Neelam used to live in front of my house. She was my uncle’s daughter. Whatever work she would do, she used to call me first. Once, the work of embroidery came from outside. Then my sister said that your friend is such that she did not bring anything [the work of embroidery] for you. She did not bring embroidery material. At that time, my friend listened and then she took me there with her. She got me the sample for embroidery. I never fought with my sister. If she would get annoyed with me sometimes, then I would pacify her. Such was my older sister. She would get annoyed; she was very intelligent in her studies. I was weak; that’s why I was left behind and secluded. My sister studied and also worked. My mother would beat me when something wrong would happen. Once I

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did not tell her about monthly periods [mensuration] then she beat me so that I would never do that again. After marriage, this is my mother-in-law and my maasi [mother’s cousin’s sister] [introduces me to her mother-in-law]. My whole family had seen him [husband]. But I did not see him. My older sister got married on the 10th March. After one-and-a-half or two years of her marriage, I was married on 20th April 1988. After marriage, I came here. My sisterin-law loved me a lot. Even now I get distressed thinking of her [she starts weeping]. I did not do anything [without her]. She loved me a lot. No one can love me so much nowadays. She died five years back. I don’t know what happened in her mouth. My sister-in-law was in +2 class at that time when I came here. My husband is good. Whatever is the work, he does it. We have a farm. We have 12–13 acres of land. They are three brothers; their nature is good. If there is any quarrel between us about petty things, then we discuss it and start talking again. My son is 20 or 22 years old. He has done his 12th. I have no daughter. I have two sons. They are also engaged in agriculture. The other son is in 10th class. He has taken exams. Today a computer center will be opening; we got his name written for that. Before marriage, we used to worry about how we would manage, how the time will be passed. My mother used to talk to me. My older sister refused her engagement, and then my father did my engagement forcefully here in Kalanaur. My older sister and brother started saying that we should not go forward with this engagement. We do not agree to it; we have not seen the house; we have not seen the boy. Then my sister started saying, “Do you want to get married? Do you want to get married before me?” She started saying this in anger. I said, “No, I would not like to get married but I would do what father wants me to do. I would do accordingly.” My father silently did my engagement. We were six sisters. Our parents were always taunted and teased that they had six daughters, how would their marriages be performed, how difficult things would be. The environment of our house [husband’s] was very good. Very few people are blessed with such a family. My brothers-in-law, younger, they never took me as their bhabhi; they have given me the respect and position of their mother. When I came to this house then, my brothers-in-law were young. The younger one might be 16 years of age; the older one might be 17 or 18. Even today we all live together. My husband’s nature is very good. Sometimes he gets angry. When I was married, then all the children would do work along with me, but now they don’t do. Now the children have grown up; that’s why they don’t do [laughs]. My second number brother-in-law can’t hear. He was married in

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June. His wife is very clever. But my sister-in-law [husband’s sister] did not allow her cunningness. She would keep both her bhabhis at Par. But as my sister-in-law [brother-in-law’s wife] saw my nature, she, my devrani, also became very nice and friendly. As I would ask, she would do like that. I never quarreled with my mother-in-law. She never calls herself my maasi [mother’s sister]. She is my mother’s cousin, not born of the same mother; she is her cousin. My sister-in-law and I used to do all the housework. My mother-in-law was mostly ill. My sister-in-law supported me a lot. Those who supported me are not with me today. I have that sadness to bear to some extent. My husband is a moody person. If he has a mood, only then he works. If he doesn’t want to, then he doesn’t do work. He remains busy in hanging around. Earlier he did not use to consume liquor but now sometimes he consumes one or two pegs. I tell him, “You did not consume it earlier; what is the use of consuming it now”? He says that, “I will not drink”, but after some days he takes another peg. He used to consume [liquor] before the presidentship. When we were married, then he did not drink. Now he is habitual to it; eight to nine years have passed. When I was married, firstly I asked the name of my husband [laughs]. He asked why your family did not show you to me earlier? I said that I don’t know. Either your parents or my parents know it. I am married to you today so I will talk to you today. Even today we can’t talk to each other as husband and wife talk to each other. I feel shy. Even now I feel shy. We employed laborers in the fields. The laborers lived at home the whole day. We [husband and I] used to talk to each other in our room if we had anything to say. First the son was born. I feel that whoever is born, son or daughter are both equal. I would not say that a daughter should be born or what should be born. I would only say that God may give me healthy and good children. He may give me healthy children so that the children’s lives are happy and mine also. I never found happiness in my life. I would have been happy if my sister-in-law would have gotten married. After her death, my heart was broken absolutely. But she was not my sister-in-law; she was my daughter [she weeps again]. She never called her mother, mother. She went [died] after giving me her mother’s position. The relationship between the children and me is good. The daughters of my brother-in-law are young. The children of both the families love me and never leave me alone. Recently, I have gotten the problem of depression. I don’t know why it happened; there was nothing specific; it just happened. I can’t sit; I don’t have the capacity to sit. My treatment is

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going on in Rohtak at the medical center with Doctor Puri. Now there is some relief from depression. But now I don’t have any capacity to work. This glass is lying here; I can’t even pick it up. I sleep all day. I take my medicines and sleep. Three to four months have passed and I was thinking that I should get my medicines changed from Doctor Puri and should get the power capsules written so that I may get some energy and power.

Sarpanch Days Villagers saw my nature; they elected me to the position of a president. My sister-in-law used to say that we don’t want to take the presidentship but the villagers gave it to our house. My father-in-law also had been a Sarpanch. Thereafter the villagers started saying that we will make them [the Sarpanch] and no one else. They beat the drums at our house after the lady’s seat was announced. They made me Sarpanch. I said that I am not capable of becoming a Sarpanch. Earlier, I thought that I would not become a Sarpanch but then my sister-in-law started saying that, “Now that the villagers have chosen us we cannot allow ourselves to be insulted. You are an educated daughter-inlaw and there is no harm in serving as the Sarpanch. I will support you and you should become the Sarpanch.” When I refused, then she again insisted that she would support me. My sister-in-law did not know that she would die. I did do some of the work but now only my husband does all the work and I don’t do much. In the beginning, I would do [work] such as to bring the pension. If somebody sends me today, even now I can bring pension. We would distribute the pension together. My husband is a Numbardar [powerful land owner with wide ranging power] and I am the Sarpanch. Nowadays, all the ladies do work. Villagers would keep on saying things to me, good or bad, but I never cared for anyone. Villagers might say anything but I never cared for anyone. We have done our work ourselves, my husband and I together. What change has come after becoming Sarpanch? Yes, there is a change. Meetings used to be held at the chaupal [traditional meeting place of the Panchayat]. Both of us would attend the meeting. When I was called to the block, then I would go to the block also. I would go alone also. Ladies also come to the Gram Sabha meeting because it was the lady’s seat and I would go there. I would go earlier also. There was my number for an anganwadi [Government run child care center] job; then somebody duped me and appointed somebody else; he did not appoint me. Twenty to twenty-two years had passed after my marriage. Before that, villagers said that an educated daughter-in-law has to come to our village; we will give

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her name in anganwadi. But people cleverly appointed somebody else. I went to the school from anganwadi for bringing my papers, my certificate. So when I came back after taking my certificate, then I was interviewed first. Later, I was told that it’s not your number. Here you have mere land and we can’t appoint you in anganwadi. People and villagers have cheated me in my life. She was the daughter [the candidate who was selected for anganwadi was the daughter of the village]; she was appointed. That was the daughter-in-law’s seat but I didn’t get it, so it is a cheating, isn’t it or is it? If villagers would say something, then they would say to my husband. Then my husband would say that you have made her [Sarpanch] so she will do the work. We started an anganwadi. It was of my father-in-law’s time. One stadium got made. We fetched the provisions, etc., for buying bats and balls, etc., and got the park made, got the stadium prepared. I would tell my husband that they are telling that this work is to be done. He would solve the disputes, etc. I went very less. There are six member Panches—one Rajesh, one Ramesh, one Krishnawanti, one Paranjeet, one Maman, and one Deshraj. We work together. Since when my husband started doing work, members come less. They come less; they feel jealous just like that. I don’t go. Earlier they used to come to Gram Sabha meetings. Otherwise, they would not come that what is to be done and what not to be done. They would come to me only when they were to take their salary. Members have their salaries; I also have my salary. It’s 1,500 rupees at this time. Earlier, it was 1,000 rupees. Earlier the secretary used to come and he would say that, “Bhabhi, there is a Gram Sabha meeting and you should get the information disseminated by letting the watchman know so he can spread the message to the entire village.” We used to hold the meeting in the school and would all sit on the floor. My husband also would accompany me. Villagers also used to be present. A proposal is written after the meeting. The secretary and I would together run the meeting. My village is a “nirmal village” [clean village]. They [officials] told us this. But it is not known whether they will give us a prize or not. We got the toilets made; we got the 95 toilets made. They were saying that a prize will be awarded for that. They have clicked the photographs. I was washing the clothes. We got the toilets made and then the taps, etc. Earlier, there was no booster water. Such as there are female members, if they don’t come then I will do the work with my husband and I will not do with anyone else. I am the Sarpanch. I will not go to somebody's house. If someone shows respect, then he would receive it also, whosoever he/she is.

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It depends on the mood of Panches why they don’t come. They have work also, such as they go to the fields. Sometimes they come and sometimes they don’t come. One Panch is the son of my bua [father’s sister] on my husband’s side of the family; you can call him my younger or older brother-in-law. Otherwise, the members are fine. They do not create trouble in working. On the whole, we have got done the work completely. I have got the toilets made. I got two toilets made at the school, got them made in Paras and got the toilets made in temple. We got 95 made in this way. And books are received at home for reading such as about agriculture and what is happening in cities or what’s not happening. Earlier, there were no toilets. Toilets have been made in my time. We have got the toilets constructed, got the village roads made. Only two or three streets are kaccha [temporary structure often made with clay or mud]. We will construct the anganwadi in future. We filled anganwadi’s base a day before yesterday in my view. I don’t have any interest in contesting in the future. But my husband has. There are a lot of problems. Some problems arise at home, such as there are three buffalos at home. If my brother-in-law does work, then he says that I do the work alone. He [husband] has to go for work; many times he [referring to her brother-in-law] speaks in anger. He speaks, he says, from his mind. My husband is also facing a lot of trouble that how will he do it now? All the three brothers have great love among them. The sisters-in-law are also together. Sometimes they prepare food separately. They prepare separately for about four days and then on the fifth day they would sit in my kitchen. When my son was born, then I felt great happiness. Now he has grown up and doesn’t have any occupation. Now that’s the trouble [laughs]. One son, the younger son, troubled me a lot. He passed 10th with great difficulty. It’s not known now what his results will be, how will it come out? In his childhood, he would breathe convulsively [struggle for breath]. The younger one, who was the second child, would breathe convulsively. All the family members spoiled him by giving him a lot of love and affection. He would say in 10th class that he would not go to the school; otherwise he was quite intelligent in studies. But he would say that he would not go to the school. I beat him a lot one day at the crossroads. After that, the son started going to the school daily. The elder son is in farming, he is busy harvesting wheat now; he has his own work. Whatever was done, his bua [referring to her sister-in-law] used to go along with him. I have not raised my children. My family has raised them up. These three brothers had one sister and she also died. We will celebrate happiness when the brother-in-law’s son will be born. We will invite you;

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we will invite you definitely [she extended the authors an invitation]. Both have one—one daughter—one has two sons. That who is on second number, who is deaf, he has two sons and one daughter. The younger one has one daughter. The daughter was also born with the help of medicines. Four years have passed; no [other] child has been born to her. My brotherin-law kept on going to Delhi. My brother-in-law has been operated for his heart; he had a heart wall installed. He was married with great difficulty. So I think that the children may be born soon, and then it will be good. But the child has not been born yet. They have been searching for remedies. We brought them medicines sometime from somewhere and sometime from somewhere else. Then we went to Delhi, and my treatment was also done there and so was my sister-in-law’s treatment. Just after that, my sister-in-law got pregnant. Now, her daughter is nine months old. I used to go to my maternal home often. Earlier, my mother was alone, then I would go there a lot; my mother herself would come to take me. Since my mother died, I go less. Eight to nine years have passed after my mother died. My bhabhis [brother’s wives] call me; they phone me. The rest of my sisters live nearby. Friends don’t call me up now, nor do I. Nor I have their phone numbers. If they don’t call, then I am not going to wait around for them. I had home science [as a subject] at school; there was Sanskrit, and civics. I felt Sanskrit and home science was more easy. The year in which I was failed, at that time, the schoolteacher used to live at our house on rent. She beat me a lot; she insulted me. She lived in our house on rent and she got me in trouble. I was a weak student. I used to do all the domestic chores; my older sister did not know how to do them. My sister used to fight with me daily and taunt me saying that if I would not sweep the floor at my [in-laws’] home, would you not mop the floor at my [in-laws’] home then my mother-in-law would shame my [maternal] family. Our teacher came from Agra. Her name was Santosh. Madam, she taught us home science. She appeared good to me at first. Her behavior was like a family member; she used to treat us as her children because she lived in my house on rent. When we would do any wrong act, then madam she would beat us. She made our lives difficult so we started to backbite on each other, to blame each other falsely. We would play by making a circle with the help of chairs till madam would come. Then, the beating would start. Madam would beat us and leave us and then we would play again with the chairs set up in a circle. No one else has asked me these questions about anything in my life; only you are asking, so I am feeling good. This is my second number brother-in-law. He is just like that. If I don’t go to my maternal home, then

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he goes and says that, “I will go to meet your father. If you don’t go, then I will go and meet, I will give you the message and the update from there.” He loves me a lot. They did not want to get separated from me. I think that I should get separate because children have grown up and fighting took place among children. Nobody suffers anymore; children of today are fast. We passed our time. I think that disputes should not arise among us due to the children. Brothers fight with each other sometimes. Sisters-in-law fight with each other but they don’t fight with me. The second number sister-inlaw is very clever and takes advantage of us. She herself stitches her clothes. She makes us do all the housework and she sits at the machine. My second number sister-in-law, she is a very clever woman. Her children are also clever; they are like their mother. My children are like me in simplicity. Do I appear simple to you? I am feeling very good, as you have come to ask me. I think that two such persons should come to me daily. I had to hope such that somebody would come definitely to ask me. I was feeling very happy in my heart. I was saying to my brother-in-law that I will not go; I was sleeping. [He said] that a team has come, so why would not you go? He sent me. I don’t have interest in becoming a Sarpanch again. But he [husband] is saying that he will definitely contest again. He says, “If the villagers will fight with me, then I will run for Sarpanch.” Earlier this was a lady’s seat; that’s why the villagers made me Sarpanch. First they made me Sarpanch but later they started feeling jealous. Now I am ill. I have taught my children myself. Without me, my sister-in-law’s children also could not gain admission to the school. There were three months of vacation after the exams. Then, the schools reopened from the 1st of April. With great difficulty I said to my husband yesterday that we are going to get the children admitted. Give me the money by managing from somewhere. Children say that we will not go without “Badi Mummy” [her]. We will go with Badi Mummy; we will not go with our mother [children call her Badi Mummy, elderly mother, an honorific title]. Further, I think that I may get a job. But I remain ill. I cannot even pick up a glass and put it in some other place. Had I been all right then I could not sit idle. Such as to do the dishes, knead the flour, clean, go to the fields to hang around to take care of the buffalos that are tied there, and make the buffalo dung cakes myself. I would have done all these chores if my health was good. Usually after getting up in the morning, I take a bath and brush my teeth. After that, I knead the flour in the kitchen then prepare the food. In this way, time reaches 10–11 o’clock. There was our joint work. Then we

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take some rest in the noon. While working in this way, the whole day passes. In my life, people have jinxed me by making me ill. This is the only change that has come in my life. It is said that somebody gave me something wrong to eat; it is said. I would manage the whole house, the whole house. I don’t know who gave me bad food to eat. My nephew was married on the 20th of March from Rohtak. It is not known; they might have done something, or somebody else. Yes, my nephew was married on the 20th of March and I came back fine from my home. After 15 days, I fell ill. Now I am talking to you; otherwise I can’t talk. I don’t suspect anyone. So many days have passed; no one did anything like this to me. We have got our karmas written by God. We asked someone; they were saying that someone gave you something in the barfi [a sweet]. We asked from there, from where I was given the medicines. He is in Kalanaur. He is not a pandit [Indian priest]; he is an astrologer. He says that somebody gave it to me for killing me. I don’t accept it. Others might accept it; I don’t accept. I say that a doctor should do my treatment. This is my son [introduces her son to us]. I hope that my children may get engaged in some good work. They may get a good job. I want to make my children capable. He says that he will be a driver in the police force. Now what is known? I don’t know whether he will follow through or not. My son says that he will drive for the police. We have a Jeep of our own; we have a tractor. Now he thinks that he may get a job driving. He has studied up to 10th. I hope my sons get settled in life. That is my heart’s desire.

KULPATI SARPANCH IS FOR EDUCATED PEOPLE

Happily married in a big family, Kulpati came to religion later in life. She began going to the temple. However, as a Sarpanch she did what she was asked to do. She felt that because she was not educated, she couldn’t do things. She had to listen to people, but all the paperwork had to be done by her son.

Marriage and Household I am Bhadan. My name is Kulpati. Now I am a Sarpanch. Some things I will not remember; in the old age it happens. We were five brothers and sisters. At that time, time passed very nicely. The studies were not important. I did not study; I did not go to school. We used to remain busy with buffalos and housework. I used to live and play together with my friends. My parents were good. They raised us very nicely. After coming here also, I got a good family, very good. There was no problem here. I am the youngest. I am also grown to 50 years old. They all are older than me. Three, two brothers have passed away. Now we are three siblings. All else is well. All are fine. Here also all the people are fine. Sons are also good. They are all at home. They are doing their work. My brothers and sisters were also at home; they were not in service. We did not do any study. We were at home. We did very little study, such as someone was in eighth class, someone dropped school after seventh. Earlier it was so. No one did the tenth/matric. All were just at home. In my childhood days, I used to be caretaker of buffalos and nothing else was there. I would hang around along with girls, with the friends at that time. Now there is no time. Now there has come such times. I did not do anything in the fields. God had gifted me money, brothers, and nephews. I did not go anywhere else. I would just sit at home and talk to my bhabhis [brothers’ wives] and my mother. I did not go anywhere else to earn one hundred bighas of land.

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My father was also good. He used to plow the fields. He used to do farming. He used to love me a lot. At what time he used to love even more. He used to provide for us nicely. He did not pressure us so much. Now children are used to being subject to more pressure. At that time, they did not raise us like this. There was an abundance of everything at the home. My mother was good. I am telling you that all used to love me. She used to do the cooking and go for harvesting in the fields. There was only fieldwork and there was no service. She used to do work for children also. All my chacha-tau [uncles, father’s brothers] used to live along with us together. Sometimes disputes would arise there, but they would do the negotiations very soon and start talking again and get along. There were 15–20 members in the family who used to eat together. All the things were good. What should I tell you about marriage? My father arranged the boy for my marriage, and then my brother worked the details out. Then they get our marriage done. At that time, there was nothing in our mind. At that time, people used to feel shy. At that time, no one would ask the other anything whatever may be done about marriage; whatever they did we were OK with it. It is not like this now. They say, “Tell us, what have you done?” At that time, no one used to ask; at that time people used to feel shy. When someone would go for an engagement or for looking at the boy, then the girls used to feel very shy. No one would ask any questions. I got a good family here also. I had three sisters-in-law [husband’s sisters], one brother-in-law and his wife and father-in-law and mother-inlaw. We had eight children—five were of my sister-in-law [brother-inlaw’s wife]. The family was good when I came here after marriage. Yes, there were responsibilities. These were no burden for me, why should I tell a lie? There was my mother-in-law who used to do work and manage the things. Whatever we could do, we did, after coming here. There were not so many responsibilities. We just would fetch water after getting up in the morning. That Guddi’s daughter usually called it latrine [in fact, she calls the dung latrine]. We used to throw it and make dung cakes from it. As much grain we got, we used to grind that. My husband was good and what else should I tell you? I was the same in my maternal home as I am here and I got the same family here. I did not feel that now I have gone to my sasural [husband’s and in-law’s home]; it is no different from my maternal home. There were the same issues in both the homes. I did not feel any difference. People were good here also. I would go to visit my maternal home for many days. Sometimes I would go in six months and sometimes in one year. They would not send me [for

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more days]. They would ask me to go for only two days. I just stayed there for this time. Later, I started feeling happy here; in the beginning there was some problem. It happens. But my family here was not of a troubling nature. I don’t remember anything else. The children are good. I have two sons and one daughter. One was sitting here recently. Both have studied till 10th. The daughter also has studied till 10th. Her husband is in service in the electricity department. We got her married at the age of 15 or 16; she is now 19. We did not educate her beyond 10th. We thought she had studied enough and it was to just leave it. Where would we send the girl? There was no school in the village at that time for +2. It was up to 10th. She did 10th. The boys did not want to study: they would say that we would not study further. There is a big difference in my life and my daughter’s life that she lives along with [her husband] and I keep on hanging around here in the fields. What should I tell you? I prepare food and do other works. After becoming Sarpanch, I still do all the work. I even throw the dung; I milk the animals, work in the fields. I do all the work even now. What should I tell you about my husband when he has left me [he is deceased]? After marriage, all the things were fine. I used to behave in another way with my husband compared to now with the children, I behave in another way. At that time, shyness [modesty] used to be expected of women. Now it is a little less. Just this is the difference now. At that time [daughters-in-law] used to live in the pressure of their motherin-law and sisters-in-law. If they would say then, [daughters-in-law] did not used to take off the veil. This much was the difference then. It is no longer now. When I got the greatest happiness? When a son is born, then I feel happy. When the second son was born, when we got them married, then when daughters-in-law came. All these were happiness. I never felt distressed. I go to the temple. I started it just 5–10 years ago. I never went [to the temple] when I was in my maternal home, why should I say just like that? My parents also did not go. Earlier, it was so that people used to go very rarely to temples. Only Brahmins [upper most caste] and Banias [represents caste] would go. Jats [dominant ethnic group in Haryana] used to go less. Now there is more of a trend of going to temples and Satsang. Now there is more. My daily routine is that for the half day I work in fields, to put the hay there and sweep the land there. We employed two laborers, plus my daughter-in-law. My younger son and the two laborers were there. To sweep, to put the bundles inside, etc., we usually do that. Then I take a rest for some time. After getting up, I cook, milk the animals; if there is work

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in fields, then I go to the fields. This is the routine for the whole day. If there is no work, then I would have to sit. Then I would just sit in the fields or somewhere else and talk to someone. If there is a friend sitting, younger or older, then I would talk to her. I would just do that and what else would I do? There are old women like mother; I talk to them for some time. Some like to hear Om Shanti [chant for peace]; they will read and recite that to them [the old ladies]. Now there is a great effect of Om Shanti so they will recite that. My older son is good; his nature is fine. In his childhood too he was a good child. He is still a good son. He did not trouble me. After growing up, he is of a calm nature. The younger one is somewhat short-tempered. He has some illness in his feet. I don’t know whether it’s deel or some other disease. He has become short-tempered because of that. Both are fine. There is a little difference between the nature of the two. There are one, two grandsons, and two granddaughters. The younger son has one daughter and one son. The daughter also has the same—one daughter and one son. There was so much difference among them. Sons when young used to go for studying; after coming back, they would start playing. Daughter also would study and would fetch one or two pots of water, throw the dung. They used to do that. These were the works at that time. It was the routine of the whole day. When the children were small then I used to say that study and get a job. This [children’s] father was a good person. He died at the age of 50 years. He had blood cancer. We admitted him, and then doctors said that he is no more. The children are fine and working well till now. Future will be seen in future.

Sarpanch Days My life as a Sarpanch passed very well. We contested the elections at the request of the villagers. [They were saying] that you should contest the elections. The villagers made me run. They said if you contest we will ensure you win. This time here it was a lady’s seat, so they [family members] had to make me contest, saying, you should contest the elections. This boy’s father [points to her son] had been a Sarpanch 15 years earlier. He had asked my son [for contesting elections]. My son was expelled from the police service. People started pointing towards him that he should contest the next election. But the lady’s seat came. Then for canvassing, my sons went and I also went. I went to all the ladies; sons also went. All the other people also and we hung around [in the village]. Earlier, so many guests and people used to come to our homes. Now after the presidentship, so many guests still come. There is difference in

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responsibilities also. Such as guests like you came, then laborers would wait in the fields. We cannot go there because we would have to serve you first. This is the work of Sarpanch, and much is the difference. If a person is not a Sarpanch, she can go to the fields. Otherwise, he/she has to stay there. This is the difference. The meetings, etc., are held at Kalanaur; I go there. I have gone there many times. I must have gone there seven or eight times. My son took me on that day. Then they themselves took me there. Gents come to my son and if the ladies have some work, then they come to me. All the paperwork, reading documents, etc., and signatures, etc., are done by my son. I have to make the ladies talk to him. My son also solves ladies’ problems. They talk to me but the paperwork has to be done by my son. They [women] come just like that, such as someone says, “Get my yellow [Below Poverty Line] card made. Get this done, and get that done. Get our pensions made?” For what else they come? They come just for this purpose. I just go to the meetings and don’t talk to anyone there. We sit there and then come back. We have acquaintances with people. Such as there is the Sarpanch from Garhi, from Patwapur. All the Sarpanches know each other. Males are also Sarpanch, and females are also Sarpanch. Perhaps one female is from Palam, and from Ratwanpur also perhaps is a lady. I have gained so much knowledge that this is the Sarpanch and he/she has come for this work. But I did not talk to them much. We just ask about the well-being of each other. We just ask that how are you managing the works? How are you doing the works? I am not inclined to become Sarpanch again; I am not happy about it even now, why should I tell you a lie? The presidentship is for educated people and I am not literate. I have less understanding of the things. If you speak in English now, then we cannot understand what you have said. This is the thing: these things are for educated people only. Before becoming Sarpanch, we earlier had the same work, and now also we have the same work. As I told you that if I am to go somewhere now, then I have to leave the work. Now this is so much. It is not like now that I am a Sarpanch, I can sit idle, no. We never used to hang around the whole day. Now it is that I have to leave my work when I have to go somewhere. My desire is that we will do good works in the village, that there are toilets in each and every household and school. We take care of these things, and we get these made. We have done the good work. My son looks after that. I also go to the school and talk to the teachers to see how they are managing the studies. I go on a round there in one or two months.

RAJ RANI MOTHERHOOD

Raj Rani had given birth to two children and both of them died. All the village women told her she would be able to give birth at home and did not need to go to the hospital. Her situation is very common in South Asian villages where women experience high infant mortality. However, what is most poignant in her narrative is that she knows her husband could have been helpful to her, but he beats her after getting drunk. After observing her grief at losing her child, her brother-in-law gives her his children so she can feel like a mother. However, she had a hard time navigating her relationships with the children. After one of the children came to know that she was not her mother, the child behaved differently towards her. Raj Rani was hurt. It is true that she has become a Sarpanch, but her life remains unchanged. The routine of the village and the work of the Panchayat have also remained unchanged, with her husband managing all the affairs just as when he was the Sarpanch.

Married Life and Childbirth We were in Rohtak before coming here; I used to live there in Pada Mohalla Rohtak. I used to attend the government school there. I used to come and go on foot from home to school. In my home, I had my parents, four sisters, and two brothers. The eldest was the sister, thereafter two brothers, after that it was my number. Then there were two younger sisters. Three sisters would go to school; brother used to do a job in Delhi; the younger brother also got a job. One sister lives in Sonipat. She got married there. One sister lives in Chandigarh. I am here in Gannaur. We used to play in our childhood. Then we also did some embroidery, etc.; we would knit sweaters; we would also help with housework. My mother taught us; then, we learned ourselves in our school. My mother used to do the dishes, prepare food, etc.; then she used to do work with my father. He used to bring provisions from the factory and then sell them. He had opened a shop in the house itself; it had iron and woods, etc., all these things. My father did all the works; he sold these things. He also sold ice

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cream. Thereafter he mostly did the ironwork. Otherwise he would do labor work also. My mother could not do so much work; she would knit sweaters. There are so many domestic chores. We were four girls; she would get us married one by one. The fighting is common between brothers and sisters. We would just play and fight, sometimes sidhi [game] and sometimes something else. We would not get much time to play due to work. We would knit sweaters and do embroidery on bed sheets; we would do embroidery on shawls. My jijaji [sister’s husband] used to bring provisions and we would do embroidery on those. We would distribute them to the different households. He used to go outside for selling and exchanging it. If the work was to be given soon, then we had to do it very fast and give it back soon. We would sit after doing work at around 8–9 p.m. My mother used to prepare food, etc.; we used to keep on doing the embroidery work. Sometimes we would get up at four o’clock, sometimes at 5 a.m. When there was more work, we had to get up early because we had to reach school at 6 a.m. The door would be closed at 7 a.m., after which they did not let us enter. So we used to go to school at six o’clock in the morning. Half an hour to one hour, 30–40 minutes, it would take if we would go on foot. Sometimes it would take 45 minutes. It was far away from our home. The school was near the bus stop. Earlier, the school was very near. It was just after crossing two or three streets. We used to study and do mischievous activities. We just used to fight with each other, what else was to be done? My sisters would go to the market and I would go to class. One sister lived in Sonipat after marriage; she has passed away now. Her sons and daughters now live in Faridabad. My father got me admitted in the school. Earlier, students used to be like that they used to throw their bags and did not go to school; they would go with great difficulty. When I started going, then I became habitual to it. Then I failed my exams in ninth class. Thereafter, everyone said that I should fill up the private forms to go to school. I did not fill up the form for admission. My brothers, etc., all said to me. I said that I would not study any further. All of my cousins filled up the forms for 10th class. My sisters also filled them up. But I did not want to study due to some problems. I started doing embroidery, etc.; we were poor so I needed to help my family. Then thereafter my chacha [father’s younger brother], etc., separated, but our courtyard was common. One of my chachas used to live in Kalanaur; the rest of my bua [father’s sister], chachi [wife of father’s brother], and the second chachi lived in the same courtyard. We all used to play together. When there were holidays, then we all assembled together.

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We used to sleep on the open flat roof of our house. We used to play. We would eat and sleep together on the roof. They would bring [food], we would eat and, after finishing it, we would talk and then fall asleep. We would put the bed sheets there and would sleep on the roof. Then, my sisters got married. My sister-in-law’s mother-in-law arranged my marriage. She was something in relation to my chacha also and my sister also. There were two relations. She had my marriage done. My sister-in-law and her mother-in-law both went to help arrange the marriage. Then I was married here in 1980. Thereafter, there were four to five brothers of his [her husband’s], two sisters, and one mother-in-law, who could not see. All of my brothers and sisters were married. Two were married at one place. Then on the second number, there was mine [marriage]. Sisters were married earlier. Then the three brothers were married later. In my husband’s family, my younger brother-in-law died, who was on the third number. He was married. Later, he [her husband] became Sarpanch. Fifteen years have passed, 15–16 years have passed, since my brother-in-law passed away. He had three children [brother-in-law who died]—two daughters and one son. We have gotten the daughters married and only the boy is left. He [brother in-law] had piliya [jaundice] then he consumed some liquor then he passed away. A child was born to us one year after my marriage. The child was born in ’80; my son was born; the daughter was born in ’82; they both died at birth. Here there were no nurses or doctors. They [family members] said that it would be born; it would be born, but the children were not born alive. Then they took me to the hospital in Rohtak. Before I was admitted to the hospital, he [son] died. Then a girl was born in ’82; then the girl also died at birth. Then I had taken a daughter of my brother-in-law; we have gotten her married recently in September, four to five months have passed. We got her married in Karnal. The brother-in-law’s son, who is at home, has taken his 10+2 exams. Both the daughters of the brother-in-law have gotten married. Now just two boys and one girl [children of another brother-in-law] are left who are to be married. I saw my husband the first time at my home itself. But we did not talk. Earlier, this did not happen. If elders arranged a marriage, then it was fine and we accepted it. Nowadays, they can talk and do anything. Earlier at that time, it did not happen. He just saw me and I saw him. Talks were to be done by the elders. Then there was my sister’s sister-in-law; she was my bhabhi’s sister also. Earlier he [husband] used to live along with her [his sister]. He used to live there at her clothes shop in Kharkhoda. Thereafter, he would do the utensils work/business. Thereafter, we opened

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the depot; he would run depot. In his childhood, he used to live here. Thereafter, after growing up, after the death of his father, his sister took him with her. They had a clothes shop so he would go there. The older brother of my husband also would go to Madhya Pradesh for work. After coming back from there, he [husband] worked here. His [husband] father had passed away. His father used to sell utensils in Madhya Pradesh. This happened before my marriage. All the villagers would go to the Madhya Pradesh to sell the utensils. He would go there. Then his father fell ill and passed away. Thereafter, he [husband] prepared the utensils here and would sell them here in the village itself. My husband is fine. Mother-in-law is also fine. She is 80–90 years old. Her behavior is fine. Earlier in the marriage, she was stricter. But now it’s fine. Earlier, I would get some wool and knit sweaters. But now I don’t make them. Here, they had kept buffalos; there were cattle. The three brothers-in-law, etc., were unmarried. Two daughters and one son of my brother-in-law were there. Earlier, all used to live together. Then thereafter when the second brother-in-law was married, then we separated. After my marriage I would prepare chapattis [flat unleavened bread] and vegetables and do some work related to animals. If I had time, then I would knit sweaters, etc., for others. I used to get up at five or six o’clock. Then after having tea, I would prepare food, etc. They would take food in the tiffin [lunch box]. Then I would start preparing for lunchtime, then the dinner. Then, if I got the time, I would knit sweaters. There was also the work of cattle. I would prepare dung cakes, both in the morning and in the evening. All the brothers lived together. The men are usually short-tempered but my husband’s nature is just fine. Somebody works slowly and somebody works fast. Then he would say to work fast; there was nothing else. Now he does not consume but earlier he used to consume liquor. This was the only problem I had with him. Then he broke his leg. He went after consuming liquor to take his brother. Then the wheel slipped or I don’t know what happened: he could not stand. This happened in the field. There is a poultry farm, there near our fields; we had taken land on lease. There is where this [accident] happened. Thereafter, his brother was called up and he took him [to the hospital]. I did not have much knowledge or consciousness of what was happening. Someone was saying that we would be all right; someone was saying that he would not be fine. Whole night passed and nothing was known. I was very distressed. I said that I wanted to see him and you all are telling me a lie. Someone says that the leg is not broken; someone says the bone is broken. Someone says that there is a sprain in the leg. Someone says that he is coming home just now. Someone says something and someone says something else. We lived with

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distress all night. My daughter was very young when I adopted her. We recently got her married. She helped me by calling all the places. She said, “Mother you come, he [husband] has taken the medicines and there is no problem.” Then in the morning, I went and saw that the whole leg was swollen. He got operated on three days later. Then they took me with him because he used to relieve himself on the bed, etc. Then I faced a lot of trouble. When we were just married, then he [husband] used to consume less liquor. We did not even know about it; he did not used to consume it at home. He used to consume some outside. I told him to leave it but he did not stop drinking. Then he kept on increasing it [consumption of liquor]. I said that if a person takes one or two pegs sitting at home, then there is no problem, but to ride the scooter after drinking, then it can create great problem as accidents can happen. When he went from here, then I said that I will send someone else to bring your brother back and you don’t go. He said that he will go. Then he went on the scooter. Yes, he used to scold me a lot too. About food, he would say to bring this and bring that. He would also tell me not to speak so much. I did not used to speak much before him; I would speak but I would not speak before him. “When the husband is angry, then what is the use of speaking?” I told him that day, “Don’t go, someone else will take your brother. I will send somebody else.” He said, no, he will go. Then two other persons also went along with him. Something else might have happened along the way. But I would only know if someone would tell me the truth. What do I know? There was much delay [in coming back]. Then his brother came home, searching for him. Then when the phone rang, then my mother-in-law and sister-in-law came home and said that the accident had taken place. I started crying. I said, “How did you come to know?” I said that he had just gone to take his brother. I was very distressed that the accident had taken place. I asked whether it is a major or minor accident. They said, “No, it is minor.” This happened just three years ago in June.

Childbirth My sisters-in-law left the house and got separated. They went from here. The quarrel would take place with my mother-in-law. My child was going to be born; I was having pain. The whole world got assembled. My brother had come here. They, my maternal family members, had been waiting for five or six days that whether the son is born; daughter is born. They kept on waiting. The child was not born. Here also they kept on

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waiting. Then they [family members] called a nurse from Gannaur. She gave me an injection but I did not get relief. Then they saw in the morning that my health was deteriorating. Then in the morning, they took me to Rohtak. There was my bhabhi [brother’s wife] who used to do job there in Ward No. 2. Then she told the doctor that this is the matter and five to six days have passed since labor started. Now you have admitted her here, her color has gone blue. I don't remember much except the nurses said that the nails of the child were blue. At 11 a.m. the doctor came to check on me and told me that my child died at 5 a.m. that morning. They were taking it [the child] wrapped in a cloth. My brother-in-law took it from them. Then I saw him. After that, I did not see his face. It was being said that he was like this or like that or died because of this or that. Five to six days before, when I was in labor, somebody said to me to take mishri [sugar] after boiling it; someone else said to take a sip of liquor, another to have some halwa [sweet]. They just gave me all these things earlier [before the birth of the child]. One lady said, she was older and very wise, she said that the mouth of my womb is small, so take her to the hospital. The child should not be born at home. Then all these [ladies] were old, of the age of my mother-in-law; they started saying that it would be born; it would be born just fine at home. Their children, all have been born at home, so mine would also be born at home. Five to six days passed while seeing all this. When they saw me in the morning, then they had neither tea nor anything else. They took me in the bus [to the hospital]. Then they took me to Rohtak. Then I could neither lie down nor could I stand. Nothing happened. My color was going on black. It was the grace of God that the child was not born in the bus; it was born after reaching the hospital. It’s a great trouble, sister. Thereafter I was fine, but they said that it [the child] is no more. The next time, my child was earlier in my womb. They gave me the medicines; I did not know. [She did not know that she was pregnant; she thought that there was some other problem in her stomach. Her family members got her the medicines and the person who gave the medicines, who did not know that she was pregnant, gave her the wrong medicines.] Then the girl was born dead. They gave me the medicine saying that there was swelling; there was this and there was that. So I was pregnant earlier; only two days or four to five days would remain to complete a month. Had the month been completed, only then I would have known that it is there or not [whether she was pregnant or not]. Thereafter the child was not born. Then they demanded a bottle of blood. Then he gave the bottle; one bottle of blood my brother gave. Then the child was not born, a lot of treatment was done. Someone said that it would be born, but it was not

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born. Then I was very distressed about having a child. Then my brother said, “Take my son.” His son was born first. I said that I would not take his son. Then my brother-in-law gave me his daughter, the one who got married recently. She was 13 days old; my parents did not know that I took my brother-in-law’s girl. He [husband] did not agree with it; he did not want to take the child. He would say that ours would be born; ours would be born. Then because I would cry and be distressed, he agreed to take the girl. When a second girl was born to my brother and sister-in-law, then they gave her to me. The son was given to me after the death of my brother-in-law. He was only two-and-a-half months when my brother-in-law passed away. Now that boy studies in 12th. One girl has been married; there is one other girl. She works in a school in Gannaur in Swami Dayanand. Now the day passes in the domestic chores. There is my son and he only [husband]; he goes in the morning and comes back in the night. The boy’s mother [her sister-in-law] left her children here and she was married to someone else. After her marriage, her brother took the children away but we were able to get the children back [the family were able to get the children back because their mother had married somewhere else after the death of her husband]. My life is going just fine. What is about life? Somebody’s [life] goes sometime and somebody’s sometime. I miss my children, my brothers and sisters. I don't go as often to meet them. Earlier she [sister] used to live in Sonipat. Then they both passed away. Then my sister was transferred to Delhi. My sister’s husband would live in Delhi. He would do daily commute from Delhi. Recently he has been transferred to Faridabad. Then both went there. Earlier, she used to live nearby. Then I would go every 15 days [to meet her]. Now I can’t go alone. I do not go anywhere due to illness. My sugar level sometimes goes high, sometimes low. It happened since I got my daughter married. Now they both have gone to Faridabad. My relations are fine with my sisters-in-law. One of my sisters-in-law is sitting here; one is sitting there. They live with me. There is one sister-in-law [husband’s sister], the brother-in-law’s daughter whom I had taken. Later she came to know [that I am not her real mother]. She was four to five years old [when she came to know this]. When she was growing up, then she used to prefer her [her real mother]; earlier, she did not used to do like this. But she is fine; we have gotten her married now. But I feel a little difference in her nature [after she came to know that I was not her real mother]. Own children are own after all; she was her mother. So I would feel a little hurt just like that [weeps]. She did not say anything to me directly. She comes here after her marriage; she

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comes and lives here with me. When the child comes to know, then it is very difficult. In the village, people tell [the child that she is not your real mother]. My husband takes land on lease, 10–20 acres. The servants and my brothers-in-law, etc., look after that. The one laborer lives in the field itself. We have taken land on lease. He [husband] might beat me after consuming liquor. Many years have passed; now he doesn’t beat me. Few incidents like this are common in houses. Once I got hurt very much. He beat me then I bumped into the wall. Earlier, he used to quarrel with me two to four days in a week. My family members would say that you have to live there whenever I would go to my maternal home. My mother-in-law would make him [husband] understand, but who listens? He used to beat me about the children, because I don’t have children. He did not care when I would go to my maternal home. He would say go, if you want to go. He changed after the girls grew up as they used to get angry. My daughters would say, how is this the fault of our mother? We were not separate earlier; we all used to live together. I used to remain quiet when he had come after consuming liquor so that he may not get angry and he can have food comfortably. Then she [sister-in-law] used to start speaking before him that she will not allow him to eat. They used to ask for money [his brothers and brother’s wives]; he would give [money]. They demanded more. Earlier also, they would demand; they have their work joint even now. They did not used to do [work]. I would say that when all [the brothers] are separate then we should keep our earnings with us, whether it’s more for someone or less for others. He [husband] used to live in the field the whole day. Both would do work, but he [husband] doesn’t demand [money], what should be done? I would go to my house for one or two months. Then my mother-inlaw would stop me and would say that now only this is your house. I said it is fine, if it is like this, but make him [husband] understand. I was not having children. That’s why he [husband] used to beat me. I said that when two [children] were born, then you did not take care, and now when more do not get born, then what can I do? They were born before one year. I did not do any treatment; they were born themselves. I did not have even one rupee of medicine. But you yourself did not take care of me, now what can I do? All people I know have children; my sister-in-law also has children; all the family members love her a lot. When I visited my mother, my younger daughter would tell all the things to my mother that today father beat mother; today he fought and he did this. So she would tell my sisters, after going home; she would tell to

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all, he would do this twice or thrice in a week. When we went to Rohtak, then my daughter told them that my father beat me. Then my daughter went to live with her [real] mother. When they [her parents] would get angry, then they would take their daughter back. Sometimes she would live here with me; sometimes she would go there. She would keep her [the daughter] with her; she would not send her to me. When I would go to my maternal home, then I would take her. When disputes would arise, then she would not go. My son, who is my brother-in-law’s son, he [husband] loves him; he is his own blood; they are his own. So when I would say to my sister-in-law to send the daughter to me, they would not send the daughter. I would cry. What else is there to do? What happens just happens. If we only had one child, I would have pressured him. It creates difference whether there is only one son or one daughter, you know well, sister.

Sarpanch Days Now I have become Sarpanch. Earlier he [husband] was the president. Thereafter, lady’s seat came. All then said to me, Panchayat said to me [to contest]. In the house also he [husband] said to me to contest. Then there was lady’s seat; we both were there. One lady was also contesting along with me. Then the villagers made me the Sarpanch. My husband canvassed. I felt fine after becoming Sarpanch. He used to do the work [related to presidentship]. If it was a must only then I would go. Otherwise I did not go. Only he would go, sometimes to Gannaur, once he was called in Sonipat. So all went. I went only to Gannaur two to three times. I go less. If there is any such work when I must go, only then I go. He himself gets the work done, such as roads, etc. I have seen the roads while they were being constructed. Someone had taken the contract so they constructed. They would pass it. When it would be a must and he would not be present at home, then I go to the school. I went only once or twice. There is one anganwadi; I went only three or four times there. Once they called me to give drops to the children. One or two times, doctors, etc., came. Otherwise he [husband] himself goes. He goes. He himself runs the depot [store that distributes/sells subsidized food/grain]. One is in Kalagria, one is this in our village, and the third depot is in Bhakharpur. Earlier, someone else took the depot. Then they gave it to us. He himself takes the meeting by sitting here. Sometimes they go to the Lala’s [wealthy shopkeeper] home. Earlier the Lala was the Sarpanch. There are five Panches. They came; they live here in the village itself. They don’t talk to me. They talk only to

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my husband. I don’t talk much. Men talk to the men, and sometimes the women also come. If something happens, then they come; they sit and watch. Otherwise men mostly come. There is one female Panch. She doesn’t come without any work. If there is some meeting, etc., then she comes and she meets me. We just talk at home, and nothing else. I feel trouble in going alone, that’s why. He is usually present there so he [husband] goes. When it is must, then he takes me. Otherwise he himself does all the work and attends meetings. Three plans have been passed during the presidentship. He has acquaintance with all the people. I am not inclined to do this job; he himself does everything. There are domestic chores to be done also. Man is man after all.

KISHNI DEVI LIFE LIVED SIMPLY

Kishni Devi remembers her school days very well—her Hindi, drawing, and math teachers. She lamented the fact that she had to stop her education because her mother was ill. She remembered that life used to be simple and that they sang songs during the festivals. Somewhat romantic at heart, Kishni Devi was married at the age of 16. Occasionally humorous while reflecting on her past life, Kishni Devi thinks that it is not possible to recall the past. She sang songs during the interview and said that she used to write down her songs. This life history is incomplete, as Kishni had to leave in the middle of her interview, and we were unable to reschedule. We believe her unfinished story is still worth sharing.

Early Life and Childhood I was born on the 14th June 1967. Now I am 42 years old. Since childhood, what shall I say, I usually forget, we are five brothers and sisters. Including my older and younger uncles’ children, we were nine brothers and sisters. There were 15 members of our family in all. All used to live together. In childhood, we used to go to the field in a bullock cart. In the field, mother used to work in the field and we used to play. We would work if we felt like it. Otherwise, we played. Nearby, there was a forest. We were nine brothers and sisters of the same age group. There was not much difference in our ages. In the evening, we used to come back in the bullock cart and then we used to go to bed. It was our daily routine. I was born in a village named Purkhas. For two to four years, things went like this. Then, I started to work a little bit. I used to work in the field a little bit and then used to play. I spent my childhood like this. At that time, we didn’t wash our clothes with soap. There used to be rahai in the field. Rahai means “moist.” We used to call it “rahai.” There used to be a small well in our field. Mother used to dip clothes filled with rahai in it for a while. After some time, the dirt used to wash away and we washed them

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with water. After that, we used to start playing in the field. It was the daily routine of all of us children. At that [time], we were eight to ten years old. In the winter, we nine brothers and sisters used to play together in the field. Nearby was a forest. I had one older brother and one older sister. I was the third one and the rest were younger than me. In the winter, we used to go to our field to peel off sugarcane. The elders used to put bundles of sugarcane in the sugar-crusher. In the evening, we used to play with the leftover sugarcane. In the evening, gur [jaggery, made from sugarcane] was available. Around six in the evening, I used to come back after having hot gur. Daughter, in summer, when the harvesting season started I used to work a little and the family members used to ask us to graze the buffalos. After school, we used to get the buffalos grazed. In every farm family, children used to go to school. When they came back from school, at least they would do a little bit of work. We used to help in cutting wheat plants. Then it was the rainy season. In the rainy season, farmers used to plant [rice] paddy. We [children] also used to help in planting paddy. We enjoyed planting paddy. During the harvesting period, we helped in cutting paddy. The whole family, even our neighbors, got together and cut the paddy. Together, we winnowed the paddy. On the way, there was a water tank. We used to take baths in that tank. We liked it very much. Whenever we felt hot, we used to jump into the water tank. Our childhood was spent like this. Then, we started going to school. I have studied till the fifth standard. After coming [home] from school, I used to have my food and study. During recess, we used to come back home. We used to eat sugar canes, have food. In our village, we had a number of Punjabis. They were running shops. We used to take sugarcane to them and buy imli [tamarind, fruit] in exchange. Earlier, things were not bought with money. We children used to take two to four sugarcanes to them to buy things. School was closed at 2 p.m. In the summer, we used to play in school for one or two hours after school if we wished to. The school was quite far: it was almost one to one-and-a-half kilometers away. Our village is quite large. We used to go to school on foot. It was in the middle of the village. We used to do our homework after coming back from school and then started playing. The teachers were good. There was a teacher named Rabha. She used to teach very well up to the primary level. I got into fifth standard. There was a drawing teacher named Raj Singh Dahiya of the village Duser-Kheri. She was also very good. Two teachers were Punjabi, named Shashi Bala and Padmavati. One [Shashi] was a Hindi teacher and the other [Padmavati] was a math teacher. They were also good. We used

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to do a little bit of homework [study]. Grandmother was also there. Mother did not like to care for us as much as grandmother did. My grandmother was very nice. My mother used to go to her parents’ house. My mother had one sister. In winter, in the month of October, we started Kartik-Snan [sacred bath held in the month of November]. A fete used to be organized ahead of Peer-Majis [a day that celebrates the birth of a local saint]. In the month of July, also, a fete was organized. On the day of the full moon, we used to take baths. I enjoyed taking baths for the fete, but not the roaming around. I did not cherish the crowd. My grandmother used to accompany us. It was three to four kilometers away. We used to go and come back on foot. This was how our childhood was spent. Daughter, likewise in the rainy season, I used to go with mother and bring bundles of twar [type of grass], which my mother used to cut. If sugarcane was there, she would cut that. We did not cut [it]; we just accompanied our mother. During holidays, we used to spend time cheerfully. Those were the days of the rainy season. I was very young. Once, we were playing on the boundary wall. There was one aunt. She was three to four years older than me. She asked me to walk fast. I could not walk. She got angry and pushed me. Rainwater was flowing in the village. It was raining heavily. I drowned. [Laughs.] At the same time, my uncle’s daughter was coming back from the field with bundles of fodder on her head. She saw me and took me out of the water. I was so small that I could not get up. I was four or five years old. I remember only that I was drowned in the rainwater pond. Then, I got into fifth class. My mother was ill. She started having fits. Elder brother got married, and nobody was there to do the work. Papa had asked me to go to school [continue schooling]. Mother didn’t let me go to school, saying, “When I am ill, who would do work [household chores]?” At home, there was my grandmother, along with three younger brothers and sisters. My aunt was cunning by nature. Mild conflicts keep happening among women. Due to this reason, I had to give up my schooling. For three to four hours [every day], I did household chores. I learnt how to do fieldwork. I hardly cut the wheat but would cut the paddy, turn up the paddy. I used to do these works. My grandmother used to collect cow dung in a pan and I used to dispose of it. I used to bring water with my mother. My father was also very nice. My parents were illiterate. My brother is a drawing teacher. When he was 19 years old, he got married. His name is Jai Bhagwan. My elder sister studied till tenth [class] and completed a course of study in Prabhakar [music]. She lives in Rohtak. My younger brother is a little crazy. He does not have much of a brain. He is unmarried.

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Marriage and Life at the In-laws I got married at the age of 16 years. At that time we used to marry at a young age. My sister also got married at the same age. Typically, after having passed tenth class, parents would get their children married, at that time at the age of 14–15 years. My grandmother used to tell stories of kings and emperors. My one older uncle would tell the story of a parrotpair from the book. I don’t remember any story now. I am a patient of depression. I don’t remember. I can’t concentrate. Daughter, I am ill since yesterday. Yesterday I had a tablet. I was vomiting also. I am suffering from a migraine. Can’t even face light. I have just got up and done some household chores. The drawing room used to be far away [from the main house]. We used to sleep in the drawing room. My grandmother, older uncle, and my father would sleep in the drawing room. They would tell stories till 11–12 o’clock at night. I have a cousin, my uncle’s son; he would also tell stories of King Bhaj. We would crack jokes. Ours was a jolly family. All of us would share in telling stories. We would also play together. We would play cards. We were nine brothers and sisters. We would play marbles. We would draw lines on the floors and play. My mother would also play. Girls were not allowed to stay out late. We used to cover our heads. We would do like this. [Shows the way girls would cover their heads.] We would never let the duppatta [long scarf] fall from our heads. When I came to Rohtak, no one covered her head. We used to ask ourselves, what type of girls are these? Sometimes we would go to our maternal uncles’ house [in the village]. I have seen Rohtak only after my marriage. After coming home to my sasural [husband’s and in-law’s home], I realise that I got a very good family. No one in the family used to drink. My father-in-law had very little land. We used to lease land for agriculture. We used to walk one-and-a-half to two kilometers to the field. My father-in-law and his siblings were four brothers in total. The family of these four brothers used to cut wheat together for one whole month. My mother-in-law was also nice. Now she is no more. She died nine years ago. I took care of the family and would get up at four o’clock in the morning to milk the buffalo. At the time of marriage, we knew nothing. We were not allowed to buy clothes from the city; we were allowed only at the time of Bhat-nyotna [a festival]. We would purchase suits only. Even clothes [dresses] were purchased by family members like father, mother, and sister-in-law [brother’s wife]. Whatever they bought, I had to like.

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Two years ago, while asking for my sister’s hand in marriage, my inlaws asked for my hand also. They wanted to marry us sisters together with their two sons. At that time he [husband] refused. After two years, my children’s grandfather [referring to her father-in-law] came alone to see me. He gave me five rupees as a token of marriage and said, “She is ours.” Three men had come; his [husband’s] father, his maternal uncle, and my uncle. My mother-in-law belonged to Mangyan village. My bua [father’s sister] was also married in Mangyan. If marriage takes place in same relation, it’s preferable. If we marry in known families, it’s better. That’s why my marriage was fixed. I got married in 1984. I got married on the 14th of May. Then 3–4 years passed. Sometimes it is said that the exchange of garlands can complete a marriage. We were married in the similar way. Twenty-five people had come, including him [husband]. We cooked a very simple meal. Roti, sabji, halwa, and puri [food items]. At that time, women would not attend marriages. Old men, one or two small boys would attend. My aunt, my sisters, these women came. Very few people were interested in a dowry. Marriages were taking place on a very small scale. Why take money for kanyadan [giving of one’s daughter in marriage]? Initially, the family would not give doosar [dowry]. It was given after one year. At that time, whatever was given, it made no difference to me; at our time they [referring to her parents] gave table and chairs, cot, fan, radio, 51 dresses, and a few utensils, 15–20 dresses for the children, their grandmother, and other women. At that time, everyone would start their marriage with five baans [ceremonies]. These days, baans are disappearing. Family members would eat at a neighbor’s house. At that time, we liked these things. This was the tradition of marriage. We would not know anything that time. We were ignorant. Children nowadays are more smart and aware. We knew nothing. Family members would bring whatever was to be brought. We would sometimes visit my maternal uncle’s [mother’s brother] house. When we would visit Sonipat, we never knew in which direction Sonipat was. Yes, we would go to Ganaur. We would go to Ganaur to sell paddy. My father used to go to sell paddy or wheat; then he would buy us new shoes. He would take us in pairs to Ganaur. We were nine in total. He used to sow paddy in six acres of land. All of my father’s brothers were farming together. In our village, there are a number of gardens. It was rainy season. It was raining heavily. There was no room to pass on the other side of the road. One camel came from front and the bull got scared. He got scared and confused. We were three on the bullock cart—my younger brother, my grandmother, and myself. My grandmother fell down. I was holding

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my younger brother. He got scared. I screamed for help. There came a boy to help but the bull ran about one kilometer. It was running in the street when a very strong man came and held the bull by the nose. At that time, I overcame my fear. There were two occasions when I got scared. Once I dreamt I was in the pond with the bull and the other when I rode it. I liked taking baths in the river and the pond. As I grew up, I got allergic. When I was a child I would bathe in the pond by myself. At the time I really enjoyed it. We would go to bathe buffalos, graze animals. When in the beginning I had my first period [mensuration], I knew nothing about it. I was absolutely scared. Otherwise our lives were fun. There was not much work to do. Grandmother would help. When I felt like studying, I studied. When I felt like playing, I played. I did what I wished. We were not allowed to go outside. I started menstruating at the age of 14. I did not know about it. We did not even wear underwear, and who would bring it for us? Nobody would bring for us. Even my mother would not bring it as we bring it for our children now. Nobody told me [about menstruating]. In earlier times, mothers used to be different. [Laughs.] I thought, what has happened? Then my older sister, who was also there, gave me her own underwear. She was married at the time. Then she gave me some cloths and told me how to use them. Now every house has a bathroom and toilet. At that time, there was no bathroom. We used to take baths behind the cot. Then we would wash [those cloths]; then let them dry. I did not like washing them. We used to hide them in some interior room so that my father or brother would not see. I used to feel pain [during menstruating] but what could my mother do? After marriage, my pain [during menstruation period] stopped. I got married at the age of 16. I was 13–14 years old when my elder sister got married. After her marriage I got married. My uncle’s daughter was also in 10th. I was forced to leave school. Our school was up to eighth standard. School for boys was up to 10th standard. Boys and girls could study together if they so wished but in our family, girls were not sent to boys’ school. My older sister was sent to my maternal uncle’s house in Kamsala. She studied there up to 10th standard. Primary school was co-educational. There were three schools. One was for boys, which was up to 10th. Another one was up to eighth, which was for girls. I was in middle school. That school was upgraded up to 10th standard when I left school. I was not fortunate enough as far as education is concerned. Even now, I resent my mother. I tell her that you did not let me study [laughs]; you have ruined my life, because it was my mother who said that “I am ill, don’t go to school.” My father had even paid the money to pay

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the fees. But my mother said that “I can’t do work. Who will do the [household] work? Your aunt taunts me that you don’t work. So you won’t go to school.” Only daughters are supposed to sympathize and sacrifice for their mothers. So, I stopped going to school. Once, when I was in fifth standard, our school was going for a trip to Sonipat. I don’t remember now what we were going to see. We were selected on the first days that these girls will go. The next day, we 50 girls got ready to go, but they took only 20–30 girls. Girls to be taken were selected during the prayer. We had come with a lunch packed, thinking we will also go to Sonipat. But instead they took us to Sandal [name of village]. We were crying. We went to the village by foot, further we did not know the way to Sonipat. From there, we came back at four o’clock [in the evening]. Next day, we asked madam why she did not take us? She said that we were young; that is why we were not taken. Only children from seventh standard and eighth standard were selected. Then, we asked madam why we were selected earlier; we’d brought money also. I still remember that day and it makes me sad. I never thought of marriage. I was very religious. I was not like the one who thinks that one should get married. Old women used to sing devotional songs. I would sit with them. They used to say good things. Saintly women also visited there. Saints who tie their mouth with white cloth wouldn’t come there. They used to come in our neighborhood. I would go sit with them. I was not interested in marriage. But if my parents would not get me married, then people would blame my parents. Hence, I got married. I gave birth to children but I have different views. As it is said that when a girl reaches the age of marriage she feels something differently, i.e., her heart throbs. I felt nothing like that. But I felt bad during my periods [mensuration]. At the time of marriage, I had periods. As there were no bathrooms or toilets, we used to go outside. In rainy season, there used to be additional problems because there used to be lots of insects and mosquitoes and we used to keep brushing them off our backs [laughs]. Then we used to go to the pond for washing. Five to six friends would sit together. My aunts would also accompany us. We would crack jokes. That was a different time that cannot be recalled now. We would sing songs together in the street. We friends would go to the well to fetch water together and sing songs. My grandmother was good. She would also sing with me. My mother was also good. We spent much time with our grandmother. In my notebook, I would write songs of Ram [Indian God]. Many notebooks are filled with these songs. Since childhood I have been writing. [She sings songs.]

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Early in the morning, we had a bath and in the evening, we lit jyot [lamp] on the bank of the well. Then we would go to sat kumbh [religious celebration] to have a holy bath. Sometimes we would also go to Ganga [holy river] and other times to Yamuna [holy river]. During the Falgun [the month of March according to the Indian calendar] month in the evening, we would play. In Falgun, we would sing songs of Falgun. But those songs were not good. They would be of a different kind [double meaning]. We would play like shepherds. Old women would also come, and we girls would also come. We had a plot of land; we used to play there. Parents used to sleep. We three, four sisters were of the same age. At night, we would play till 11 or midnight. On the day of Holi, we would enjoy a lot. We enjoy now also but in the company of girls, we enjoyed more. Our sisters-in-law and aunts would make us wet. In the month of Falgun [the month of March according to the Indian calendar] there were no restrictions. [Indicates towards her sister-in-law.] She also does the same. She would make me wet. At home we had fun. After marriage it does not matter even if you are young, around 16–17 years. You have to adjust to your new married life according to the family. At that time, I had a mother-in-law, four brothers-in-law, and three sistersin-law. I am the youngest. The rest of them are older than me. I have three sisters-in-law [brother’s wives] and four brothers-in-law. All seven are good. It is better than my maternal side. They never let me miss my family. My father-in-law had three brothers and all of them were good at that time. Nobody had any bad habits. Everybody used to work together. We would bring water. There was a scarcity of water. We used to get up at four o’clock in the morning and even then we would not get water. We would have one pot in our hand and one pot on our heads. We had a hand pump in our field. We would reach there at four o’clock. We were six in total, my sister-in-laws and I, along with others. The one who was older than me was a teacher. She is now retired. Since I have gotten married in this house, she has been staying away. I would go with my younger sisters-in-law to fetch water. My sisters-in-law used to live with us. She is older than her [points at her other sister-in-law who is in the room]. She rarely comes here. She comes only for a day. She comes in the morning and goes back in the evening. She comes like this only. Then we used to bring water, cook food, and feed the buffalos till ten o’clock. Then we would go to the field. We would bring bundles of jowar [grain]. My father-in-law was good. He used to cut the jowar and I used to bring it. My mother-in-law died in 1991. I got married in 1984. I gave birth to my younger son at that time

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when she was ill. She was not able to work much. We would cook chapattis [flat unleavened bread] and she would put them on the plates. She would prepare milk and I would prepare butter. All I want to say is that she was too ill to work. I would prepare fodder for animals and she would add flour, that’s all. She would go to the gitwara [a place where cow dung cakes are prepared]. We would prepare the cakes and she would upturn them in two to four days. Then, after eight years, she died. Then my father-in-law and my brother-in-law went to Gurgaon. He lived in Hasangarh. One brother-in-law started living in Gurgaon. Only we [her family] lived in the village. We were five in all, two buffalos, three young children, and my father-in-law. My sister-in-law’s son also lived with us. My father-in-law would take my son on his shoulders to the field. I would go to the field after completing all the housework. He would make him sit and would cut five bundles of fodder, some of grass and some of jowar bundles. I would bring the bundles home and he would bring my son. He was very good. He was even better than my father. How can I say that he behaved like a father-in-law? He was very good. I would do household chores, bathe my children, and he would do some other work. He would get the fodder cut. My children and their activities, like young children urinating, never bothered him. Most of the time, my son used to be with him. I used to work all the time. I gave birth to all my three children in three-and-a-half years. With such small children, I had to work a lot. I had to work with the buffalos also. He [father-in-law] would feed my children on his lap. What I mean to say is that he did not let me suffer. Then, we would go for harvesting. We would harvest for all four brothers. It would take one month. I would go in the morning at ten o’clock. My elder sister-in-law [husband’s elder brother’s wife] would stay back at home. My children’s father, their grandfather, others, and I, around 10–12 in total would do the harvesting together. Near Bhambhava, close to the big canal, we had a field that we had leased. They [referring to her husband’s family] had 9–10 acres of land they owned, and they were four brothers. It was a large family with four brothers and their children. Three brothers had four sons, and one had six sons. There were 15–16 sons in all and 9–10 girls. It was not possible to feed such a large family with 9–10 acres of land. More fodder and grains were required and land was limited. Therefore, we would lease land. Our land was in Bodhan [name of village]. My grandmother-in-law belongs to this village. They [referring to her husband and his brothers] had purchased 9–10 acres of land there. We would go there for sowing and

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harvesting. That field was even further away and availability of water was limited. I did not see my husband before marriage. I did not even see his photograph. On the day of marriage, the newlywed couple would play kangna [a marriage ritual game involving rings]. Husband would not speak to his wife at that time. Before Dussar [a custom], we did not meet each other. After Dussar, we met. At that time we would not even speak to each other. Even at home, I used to cover my face in the presence of my sister-in-law. We would practice veil for all at home. After giving birth to my daughter, my mother-in-law said, “Neither you can see nor listen. You will fall due to some obstacle in your way. You undo your veil. We have had enough.” Only then did I unveil. Before that, I practiced the veil. We practiced veil in front of outsiders. This was a custom. If ever I would forget to put veil, then they [elders of the family] would comment that I have become a grandmother [sarcastically]. My younger sister-in-law’s name was Sudesh. Once when my daughter was one-and-a-quarter years old, I was sitting without putting veil. My uncle was also sitting there, but I did not cover my face. My sister-in-law came and said, “Oh! You are sitting like a grandmother. You have no shame.” My children’s grandmother helped me to uncover the veil. The veil was very bothersome. I used to feel that during the day I cover my face and at night [laughs]. It was a wrong practice, daughter, but we could do nothing. We have to practice it because of the custom. We had an inkling that we were being harassed and repressed. But now we do not ask our daughters-in-law to practice veil. Whatsoever comes, no one veils their face. At that time on the marriage day we would play kangna [a marriage ritual game involving rings] and light the diya [earthern lamp]. On the third day, I went back to my parents’ house. Our village was quite far. We had no knowledge about marriage at that time. We [she and her husband] started talking about our brothers, sisters, parents, etc. He is also a very religious man and does not speak much. After that, you know what happens. I was scared; I was even crying. Then he persuaded me that nothing wrong will happen. This happens to each and every woman. You are not the only one. Means he explained and we slept together. When I was to give birth to my first child, food used to stink. I hated people talking. I felt like sleeping, lying alone in a corner. I did not like anything. I would lie all the time, closing my eyes. I was fond of tea. But I started hating tea. I liked only cold tea because I couldn’t live without tea. I would lie on the floor, covering my face. My mother-in-law was a good lady. She would give me whatever I wanted. One thing was that earlier

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family members used to control women. We were not allowed to go outside; we were not allowed to talk to other women when we would bring water. At this point Kishni Devi had to leave, and we were unable to complete the interview.

SHANTI DEVI (2) LIFE IS FINE THOUGH

Soft-spoken and shy, Shanti Devi lives a happy life with a large family. Even though she is illiterate, she sees the importance of having a small family, wearing clean clothes, and getting a decent education. Life is by no means easy for Shanti Devi but she lives it to its fullest. She was reluctant to run for Sarpanch but her family convinced her. Working together with her family and, primarily, her sons, she was a relatively successful Sarpanch overall and made many improvements in her village.

Childhood and Marriage I am the daughter of Pipli Khera [name of village] and got married in Lahrada [name of village]. I was married at the age of 15 or 18. We used to do farming; we used to do a lot of work. There were three brothers and two sisters. Our family kept on growing further. There was no dispute among us; children were small. Then they grew up. My sister got married. I also got married, and brothers got married. Now parents have passed away. Now brothers are there; nephews are there. We are a big family. Here also work is good. I got married in a nice family that also farmed. No one here worked in service. Sometimes there are some disputes that arise in families. It is common. We lived together for 20–22 years. They were two brothers and then we sisters-in-law live there. In childhood we used to do farming, and I did not go to school. Farming work was more important. My father said that I would not make you literate. Earlier, people were like that. Now I am 60. In earlier days it was such that few people would educate [their children]. When we were young, we would clean dishes, sweep, dust; that was our work. When we started growing up, we started doing other chores. My parents loved us a lot. They fed us good food. They got us dressed, talked to us lovingly. Children were born to my father in his old age. We were brought up very affectionately. Then many siblings were born. We used to go to field, daughter, pluck the green leaves [a vegetable], fetch green leaves, cut hay, fetch fodder; all these chores we used to do. I

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never climbed on the trees; I was very timid. We used to play with friends. Many friends were there. One’s name was Saroj, one’s Nirmala, and one’s Bala. Then I had to leave my home once I got married. Then I went to my husband’s house. Earlier, this is all that we did and talked about, what chores did you do, what I did. Tell me, what else should I tell you? I don’t remember all the things. What we used to play? We used to play pithu [a game played by stacking small round stones]; we used to play that. Tell me, what are the games now? We played with boxes, played with dolls. One of my brothers studied until 10th grade. One studied till fifth and one is illiterate, and sister is also illiterate. She is older than me. That’s why I say our family was less educated. Earlier, education was just like that. We just focused on the same—household and fieldwork. Our family was very good. We used to play well, and if we had to do any work then we did that work. I have two uncles. They are also farmers. Earlier, we all lived together. Later, we separated. We would churn the milk, put out the butter, drink buttermilk; a lot of chores had to be done in those days. Earlier, women used to grind with hands; who grinds now? Earlier, [women] used to cook food on a chulha [clay stove]; now everyone cooks on a gas stove. Earlier, times were very good. We used to eat roti [flat unleavened bread] with gur. I was a very good child. I used to do a lot of chores, domestic as well as in the fields. I would fetch water, prepare food, throw the dung, tie and untie the buffalos, make them bathe, fetch hay, cut hay. We would do reaping, cut the wheat, thresh that; chores were there. There were a lot of domestic chores. We did not play much and enjoy time together with friends. My father did not let us go. He would say, “Daughter, you should not go to other people’s places.” Our friends would come to our home. We would play with dolls at home. They would bring them from the market; otherwise we would make dolls ourselves. We would make them from strips of cloth with the help of a needle. Only with that we would play if we had time; otherwise we would mostly do our chores. We, all brothers and sisters, used to take bath in the tube well. Once my brother was injured at the tube well and so we stopped taking a bath there for 10 days. Then again we started in taking our bath there. Mother taught me to prepare chapatti. She gave me the dough and would say make like this. I started preparing for one or two days I made abstract shaped [not round chapatti]; we used to make them on the chulha [clay stove], where were gas stoves earlier? We started doing chores at an early age because there was a lot of farming work and we got engaged in

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this work at an early age. My chacha-tau [uncles, father’s brothers] were also good. Their children were also good. They never fought or quarreled with us. Our family is very simple. When there was marriage, etc., in the neighborhood, then we would go to sing songs; we would come back late after singing songs. Then grandparents were also there; they were also good, kind people. They used to give us things, speak lovingly to us, and used to feed us. When we were young, then my mother used to go to fields, grandparents used to take care of us. They used to tell us stories, but I don’t remember them now. Grandmother also used to tell us about positive things such as, “Daughter, you will go to other’s place [meaning husband’s house], learn how to do work, learn how to prepare food, sweep well, do the dishes nicely. So when you would go to your husband’s home, no one would beat you.” She would make us understand these kinds of things. In those days we used to wear very simple clothes without thought of fashion. Some wore knickers; some wore kurtas [tunic or tops]. Earlier, we used to wear clothes just like that. When we brothers and sisters were young, sometimes my sister would fight and sometimes other would fight. They sometimes would quarrel with me also. They used to quarrel with the older sister first. She was very mature. Sometimes they would quarrel with her; sometimes they would quarrel with me. Mostly the fights were about that more things were given to them and I was given less. Mother would do most of the work—she would go to the field, prepare food—when we were young. Then we started preparing food and doing the work. First, older sister started preparing. After she went to her husband’s house, then more of the burden fell on me. We were just two sisters. I wanted to do only field work. Then I did not have so much knowledge that education is good. I use my thumb [instead of signature]. If I were educated, would I not have known how to sign? I wish I had studied a little. If only I had known that one day my sons would make me Sarpanch, then. When I was younger I would have studied. But at that time I did not know much about these things. When my periods [mensuration] first came, then there was one my bhabhi [brother’s wife] in the family. I told her. I told her what had happened to me. She might have told this to the other family members. In the beginning I was afraid. Then she told me that it happens. This happens to all and she made me understand. My father came here [to her husband’s village] to seek an alliance for me. He went back after seeking. But they [in-law’s family] did not say

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anything like yes or no. These people were good and richer than us. They did not give any answer, neither yes nor no. All conversations stalled for some time. Then one person from our village came to live here. His relatives were here. He said that you go there once again [to my father], I will talk to them. Then they [in-laws] agreed. Then my engagement was done. After the engagement my parents told me, and my friends came to know. I was feeling that I would live at my home [maternal home]. I wanted to live at my parents’ home. But now I do not want to go from here [husband’s home]. Now I am so happy here. At that time, father and family members themselves would seek and do the engagement. Girls were not involved at all. Earlier, girls felt shy; is anyone shy now? Now they [girls] see themselves [their future husband]. And their husbands also see them. Who used to see earlier? In earlier days, only Nai and Brahmin [name of caste] used to do all the work of seeking alliances. At that time we used to hide [from husband and his family when they came to visit the girl’s maternal home]. But now they [the girl] come by themselves. After marriage, when they [husband or his family members] would come to take us back, then we would hide and our brothers would serve food. The family would only come when parents would say that on that day we will send our daughter, on that day they would come. When after some days of living in our husband’s house, if we did not feel happy, then our brothers would come to take us back. After the six months of my engagement, the marriage took place. I did not tell anything to my friends. I used to feel shy. Even now when we sit together I do not tell anything. Ask her, here is our female neighbor; I don’t talk about anything. There were no talks between us [husband and her] before our marriage. That’s why our thinking does not match; disputes happen usually. We do not get along well. He quarrels with me and I quarrel with him. There were no letters or communication [before marriage]; that’s why. In Sawan [name of a month, usually the end of July or start of August], I used to swing on the swings, apply henna on the hands, cook food at home, have it [food] during festival. Festivals were enjoyed like this only. In Sawan we went to the fields just to hang around. There was a mango tree in our fields. My marriage took place; we brought new clothes, etc., got them stitched; parents bought them for me. Earlier, who bought the clothes, etc.? No one knew earlier; parents used to buy everything. Earlier we used to wear long skirts and used to wear decorated vayal/duppatta [a long scarf]. It was purchased decorated or mothers used to decorate it. If daughters had time, then they would also do this along with their mother.

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Then marriage took place: [in marriage] the Kadahi starts [process of making sweets in a large pot]; sweets are prepared, then Jannet [bridegroom’s procession or journey to the bride’s house] goes. Then we sit for Ban [a custom in which turmeric powder is used on the body of bridegroom or bride]; songs are sung; all the traditional are done. My family members adored me, including my sisters and my friends, and then I came here after marriage. I was weeping. My heart was not inclined to leave. Earlier I used to cry a lot. Now girls do not cry. I did not want to come here but who listens? I was told girls are supposed to get married and they must leave their home. I could not refuse to leave. They made me sit in the car with my father-in-law, my brother, and the driver. Many people were there. I came here; family members made me sit in a car even if I was feeling good or bad. After making me sit, I had to come. I was crying long after sitting in the car. But I did not cry loudly. I was crying quietly because I did not want others to talk about me. After coming here, I stopped crying. I kept on crying in my heart, though. I had to stop because what would the women here say? Earlier time was just like that. In the marriage, shoes were hidden [there is a tradition that the bride’s sisters hide the shoes of the bridegroom and they return them in exchange for money]. The groom had to give money to get the shoes back. At that time 50 rupees would be given or 100 rupees would be given. Now they [the girls] demand more. When my granddaughters hid [the shoes], they received a lot of money. Both got 1100 rupees. At that time when we hid shoes we may get 50 rupees. In my marriage my brother got the money returned. He said no. Our people were such. Our people were simple and noble. After coming to husband’s house, I started doing household. The men used to go for reaping. My mother-in-law and I did all the housework. [Her sister, who is sitting near her, says to her to tell about the first day after her marriage, and then she starts telling.] The first day I did not do any work. I went to the temple to offer my prayers. In the evening I went to kindle the jyot [candle light]. They [family members at her husband’s home] made us play kangna [a marriage ritual game involving rings]. Bhabhi [husband’s brother’s wife] usually helps in playing kangna [a ring is searched for in that game]. If he [the husband] finds the ring, he wins. If the bride finds it first, then she wins. Whether I found first or he I don’t remember anymore but we played kangna. Then on the next day, I went back to my parents’ home. Then I came second time here after six months. Then I started doing all of the domestic work. Farm work was also there. I used to prepare chapattis [flat unleavened bread], grind flour, prepare sabji [vegetables]

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and curry, and then I was sent to work in the fields. I used to do all the work along with my mother-in-law. I used to get up at 4 or 5 a.m. and go to the fields and come back at 4–5 p.m. Then I would do the domestic chores, prepare food, milk the cattle, throw the dung; these were all the works I used to do. We would sleep at around 9 or 10 p.m. Sometimes it would be eleven o’clock before all the housework was done. Here in my family we had my father-in-law, mother-in-law, three sisters-in-law [husband’s sisters], elder brother-in-law, sister-in-law [brother-in-law’s wife], their children, and both of us. All lived together. We lived together for 20–22 years. After coming here, I met my husband after two or three days. [She feels shy and her female neighbor laughs. That was her sister-in-law]. We all farmed together but then we separated. My first son was born after four years of marriage. My mother-in-law got me checked by the doctor. I was having vomiting. Then the doctor said that I was with child. My motherin-law said that I was vomiting because I was with child. I did not eat anything new. At that time I used to eat only chapattis [flat unleavened bread]. Then after five years, this younger son was born, after the elder one. They were both born at home. At the time of delivery, there was my mother-in-law, a midwife, one was my neighbor, one my dadis [husband’s grandmother]. Two children were born. After that, more children were not born. Your uncle [her husband] got himself operated. The children were admitted to school at the age of four or five. Our grandfather-in-law used to do the admission work. He got their name written [in the school]. Women used to go outside very less. The elder [son] studied up to matric. He did not pass in 10th class and said he would not study any more. The younger one studied up to fifth or sixth. After seeing farming, children were less inclined to study much. Now they do farming. Now one is of 40 years and the other is 35 years old. They are both married now. The [bride’s] parents also came to see them. They felt that the boys are good. They did the engagement first. Nice brides came. We went to see the brides. Now the brides also do the work and help me. I prepare food, milk the cattle, give bath to cattle, and give them fodder. I prepare tea, etc., at the home; the daughters-in-law prepare food, sweep and mop the floor, wash the clothes. I am fine now. Earlier there was work that needed to be done and your uncle would start quarreling with me. A fight is common between two persons. Sometimes seriously and sometimes jokingly he fights. Then I usually got annoyed and did not speak to him. What then? He did not eat food [when annoyed]. When he would start eating food, then it meant he is

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happy. He [husband] also studied up to fourth or fifth. His mother spoiled him and let him not study. My mother-in-law and father-in-law would scold me, for example, when I went to my home, then they said, “Do not go” [not permitted]. They would say, “Who would work here? Your husband does not work and if you also do not work, then who would do the work?” My elder sister-in-law was there; she would say, “If you will send her then I will also go. Otherwise, I too would not do work.” I felt very angry but was helpless. They did not let me go outside. They would say that I stay at home and then go out only to do the fieldwork. But we would go out for fetching water. We both would go [she and her sister-in-law]. There was a well nearby. Earlier we would fill water from the well.

Sarpanch Days Members of my family asked me to contest for Sarpanch this time. I said, no, not now, we would see later. Then my sons insisted and they assembled the whole family. They said, contest, you can win. I refused and said that I did not want to contest. I said that nothing is kept in this Sarpanchi/presidentship. My brother had been Sarpanch. I said, no, this work is not good. They said, no, fill the form. They did not listen; they filled the form for me. After filling the form, it was confirmed that now I will have to contest. Then many women went for canvassing. Fifty women would go. At this time also [around three o’clock] and in the morning also, I would stay at home for two hours and then I would go. I would come back in the evening, sometimes at nine o’clock and sometimes at eight o’clock. All women were from our family. Our family is very big. All would go for canvassing. A lot of effort was put in, only then I got the votes. And the whole day, this was the routine. I lived happily for five years when I became Sarpanch but sometimes I was a little scared. On the whole, it was good but I got worried about what would people say, whether they would say good things or bad things. Then after two years into my Sarpanchi, it appeared that all would be all right. After becoming [Sarpanch], we got concrete roads constructed, got the drains made, got the sand put in the streets; we completed many works. I also accompany my sons to the meetings, etc. Distribute the pension of the village. All that is our responsibility. First I have to get it withdrawn and then distribute it. I also talk to male Panches; there are no restrictions. There is no problem with the veil either. If somebody comes and sons are not here, then I talk to them in the veil. When I got to the meetings, then I

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do not wear veil because the members who go are all younger than I. If there is someone older than me, then I put on the veil. Then in my neighborhood Krishna Cehlawat came [confirms the name from the neighbors]. Nearby, the sons of my older brother-in-law’s live; she came to see them. She said to me that I would have to come. When I went, I had photographs taken with her. She said to me, “No, aunt, please show me your affection by placing your hand on my head because photos are to be clicked.” All the people were there. That room was bigger than this one [her room]. I put off the veil a little, as I did not notice that men were there; then I quickly put on the veil and came outside. I still feel very shy. There is modesty in the older generation people. This generation of women does not feel shy. Then after getting the photo clicked, I came back. Now five years have passed in the presidentship. I may have one month left now, according to my estimate. Once, this road was to be constructed near the temple. It was to be constructed up to the outside of the temple. We have given it in writing, only the official signature remains to be submitted. They are saying, the junior engineer and the contractor, etc., that they would make it. If they would construct, then it is fine, only that is left. Other thing is little water comes in the village; water should come to the whole village. There is a great problem with water in this village. We will shine our village [if possible]. Now this village is listed among the nirmal villages [clean]. We would get a lot done but who does work on our bidding? I got the pensions made of all the women who were old. Got all the pensions made and got the pink-yellow ration cards made. We got this done for most people who were eligible. What work has been done has been good. No inferior work has been done. We should do good works; good works should happen. Some persons will say that [they] did the good work. I say to my sons that, sons, don’t do such work, don’t spend more, I am afraid that government may not give the money. They said if they do not give, we will figure it out and we will become Sarpanch again and again. We distributed tankis [small water tanks] to the Chamars, the Thimars, and the Chudas [lower castes]; the others did not come. Got the tankis installed at all places. Who did not have toilets, got them made for all of them. Only one or two houses may have been left. Madam would come daily from [thinks and says] the block office. On the third or fourth day, we went to all the households when they [toilets] got made. On the whole, see, there are a lot of reforms but look ahead, what would [they] do? We just think that good works should be there in the village. Somebody may not say that they appropriated [the funds] and used the funds for their personal benefit. The presidentship has come after 80–90

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years to our family. It’s not like something that comes to us regularly. Our family is very big. So all put their efforts when the [presidentship] came to us. A lot of efforts were put in and even now efforts are being put in. A lot of people are contesting. At this time a lot of families are contesting, one Subhash and many others. This time here is gent’s seat. At my time there was lady’s seat. If I would be entirely free, then we would hang around in the city. Sometimes we hang around. I do not go daily. We brought some household provisions, suits [dresses], etc. I cannot take rest. I watch TV, watch TV serials [series]. Many serials came: one is Kumkum; one is Sajan Ghar Jana [asks from granddaughters]; one is Vidai; there are many [these are all names of Indian soap operas]. I watch them. I understand less because I am illiterate. These children tell me what to watch. These are three granddaughters, two grandsons, and all go to school. One is in 12th, one is in 11th, two are in 9th, one is in 5th, and all study hard. My sons are of fine nature. Even if they quarreled, they would soon make up. But they [grandchildren] fight more. They fight with each other; granddaughters also quarrel with me that you do not bring this thing, you do not bring that thing. After becoming Sarpanch, I live same as I lived earlier. Nobody says that I appear different. I do all the work; I did not leave the work, daughter. Five years passed. I do all the work; I do domestic chores also; I go to the field also. When I go for reaping wheat, those who are the members go sometimes with us, they say, “Sarpanch, Sahib [president sir], do not do work.” I say, “It doesn’t matter. I am [Sarpanch] today, not tomorrow and the work is for 12 months.” I did not leave my work. There are no problems, took out time for presidentship also. If somebody came, for example, a guest like you came, came from block, then I would meet and sit with him or her. Now I don’t have to do all the work myself; these daughters-in-law do take care of most things. I felt greatest happiness on having a grandson. I did not oppose the birth of granddaughters. There is a little difference between the two. It is just that there is more happiness for a boy. I think that there should be at least two grandsons. I had two sons. They [her sons] also should have two sons. Then, now I was thinking that, Thank God! He at least has given one–one boy [to each son]. The boys will live here, earn, give water, drink, and bring something home. Girls will leave after marriage and take money [dowry] from the family. As long as they will study, till then we will let them study. I did not have [a girl]; that’s why I felt like this. Now they also appear lovely. When they [granddaughters] will go, they [grandsons] will not talk to us when old age will come. Old age will come; till now I am

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capable of doing work. I think that all the children will study. My inclination is not to send the children outside. I’m afraid that the children may go somewhere else. Someone may call them out; [she feels] afraid that something wrong may happen. Children’s inclination may go somewhere else; I feel scared. My one bhabhi has expired and two are still alive. They are good. We talk just like that [they say to me], “Why don’t you come to our home?” I say, “How will I come?” My children alone will suffer [difficulties]. Children come late at night. I keep on sitting in wait; then I lock [the doors]. After locking the doors, I sleep. I do not lock until the children come. In fact, they do not come late and if they were gone somewhere, then I call them up many times until they come. Until they come, I keep on walking inside and outside. I cannot have a sleep till that time. My other bhabhi is also fine, the younger one. She is younger to me. She is of a jolly nature. She usually calls here. Now her son is contesting for presidentship. I was counseling them that we have seen it [presidentship] after doing it; it is not good. People give many abuses. She said, no, children do not listen. All my brothers and sisters are fine. One sister that was older died. Troubles come to every person, daughter. Sometimes sorrows come. My mother-in-law and father-in-law were very good. My mother-inlaw was somewhat clever. My father-in-law was very good. He died after mother-in-law, after many years. What will we take with us from this world [after death]? All will stay here. One needs to focus on goodness only. I swear, I do not even ever fight with my daughters-in-law. If I sometime want to say something, then I say it; otherwise I don’t have any interest. I don’t say more. Sometimes I myself feel angry about things that why this thing happened. I feel irritated within my heart. I do not say anything to my daughters-in-law. She is my sister-in-law [she is sitting near her]. I quarrel with her. Sisters-in-law can bear this, why will daughters-in-law bear? My daughters-in-law say your friend [my sister-inlaw] has come, now argue with her. We live across from each other. This is a lot of change in girls’ lives now in comparison to the earlier days. Earlier the girls did not have knowledge of anything. Now ask everything from the little girls. Everything has changed. There is change in dressing sense also. Earlier, girls used to wear simple and cheap [clothes] and have poor quality food. Earlier it was like that. Now there is a great difference. Now they have good food and wear good clothes and do not do work. They have only work on studying. Now it is good; earlier it was bad. Earlier it was bad and they [girls] used to do dirty work only. Now the girls live cleanly. Girls, women, daughters-in-law—no one wears

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bad/low quality clothes. Earlier used to wear dirty clothes. Women used to walk in any kind of clothes. They used to wear dirty clothes, did not wash clothes; now they live cleanly. Earlier, work was more. Earlier who would give the soaps to daughters-in-law, daughters? Daughter, now detergents and soaps are readily available to them. Earlier it was not so. Earlier there were men who used to bring soaps, etc. Earlier they used to give a cake of soap and would say manage with it for one month. Then we would manage we washed the clothes as could be washed with that small amount of soap. Earlier people were like that. They used to save money and now they [people] don't care if money can be saved or not; food, bathing, washing, all these should be good. Earlier money was not wasted. Now no one stops. Once there was the marriage of my brother-in-law’s son. All the women went to watch the cinema, all the nanads [husband’s sisters] and older sisters-in-law, younger sisters-in-law, and our family. There were 10–15 women. We went and watched. In the morning, janet [all the relatives from bridegroom’s side] came back. At that time janet used to stay at the bride’s house. My father-in-law came to know. He called everyone—his sister, his daughters, and us, his daughters-in-law. He said, “Daughter, why, why did you go?” Nobody spoke. He said, “Why did you go alone? I would have sent you in car and they [sons] would have let you watch the cinema. You should have told someone.” We said that, “Father, you never would have let us watch. We were scared and went because, father, you were not at home and nor were any of our brothers-in-law at home. We went.” My father-in-law said that I should not have gone. That I am very simple; I should not have gone. All the women said that you [referring to her father-in-law] are favoring her [referring to herself] a lot. I used to go out less. I used to feel scared that he [father-in-law] may scold me; that he may get angry with me. I used to deny myself earlier. But on that day, I went. Even then my father-in-law said that I should not have gone. My father-in-law never treated me poorly. He died but never abused me in any way. He died five years after my mother-in-law died. We lived for many years with my father-in-law and mother-in-law. They [brothersin-law] said that they would live separately. Their son would consume liquor. After 20 years, my elder sister-in-law separated. Twenty years have passed when older [sister-in-law] and 15 years have passed when younger [sisters-in-law] were separated. Last year, they [the third one] said that we would be separate. Since then, I am worried. I don't like the separation. Now there is great tension. The older [brothers-in-law] have separated; we are now with the younger. This is the tension—why these two brothers

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have separated? They should have lived together. I did everything for these children [brother-in-law’s children]; whatever money is spent for their education, it would go from my side. So this is the tension. I think in my heart. I think that I never discriminated, I think that in my heart, so why are we living separate? Life is fine, though.

CONCLUSION The life histories compiled in this manuscript share the lived realities of the women impacted by the 73rd amendment to the Indian constitution. It gives the opportunity for rural women Sarpanches to speak for themselves and reflect upon their domestic and political lives. The ten remarkable women you have come to know as part of the life history project conducted in 2009–2010 are representative of the women Sarpanches of Haryana. They were selected to represent what our larger dataset revealed about the level of women Sarpanches’ participation and knowledge of the duties and functions of the Panchayat. Our larger data set interviewed 295 randomly selected female Sarpanches in Haryana representing all 21 districts over 2007–2009. We asked these elected Sarpanches questions related to the following themes: x Basic demographic background x Level of participation in and knowledge of Panchayat activities, budgets, and the selection and implementation of social and economic programs x Desire to participate in future elections without reservation x Personal development priorities and concerns of the village x Handling of complaints and concerns of constituents, particularly women x General attitudes towards women’s involvement in politics and ownership and rights to land x Barriers faced by Sarpanches in performing their jobs Some of the aggregate results of the findings are presented below.

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Active 12%

Semi-activee 17% Inactive I 63% Baarely acctive 8 8%

Haryana** Only 122% of the woomen were found f to be aactively engaaged as a Sarpanch, w which means they attended all the reelevant meettings and actively paarticipated inn implementin ng developm ment projectss and in decision maaking relatedd to the Pan nchayat, and 63% of thee women Sarpanches were found to t be inactivee. They neverr went to a meeting m or made any deecisions regarrding the work k they were eelected to perfform. We further invesstigated whethher the womeen who were nnot actively en ngaged in the actual work of the Panchayat were awaree of their roles r and responsibilitties. Did they have knowleedge of what w was expected of them? The table beelow reflects our o results. A surprising 299% of the wom men were knowledgeaable about their t work, with an addditional 10% % semiknowledgeaable. This sugggests that th hese women aare learning about a the roles and responsibilities,, even if they are unable too execute them m in their role becausee of family andd societal barrriers.

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How knowledgeable was the Sarpanch of their position and responsibilities (%)? No Knowledge Semi-Knowledgeable Knowledgeable 60.8

10.4

28.8

Taking into consideration both knowledge and activity, the reality is that only a quarter of the 295 female Sarpanches in Haryana can be considered to be at least semi-active and knowledgeable about their work. The vast majority serve in the role as token representatives while the real power resides with their male family member. The situation then raises the question of the role proxies play within the reservation policy. We defined a proxy to be a person who was forced into the position because of the reservation and is merely a figurehead while another person does the work. In Haryana, we found that 83% of women were proxies—76% of them were figureheads for their husbands and 24% for another male family member.

Haryana

Was this the first time the Sarpanch ran for election (%)? Yes No 98 2.0

Did the Sarpanch willingly contest the election (%)? Yes 20.0

No 80

Would the Sarpanch contest elections in the future (%)? Yes No 21.0 79.0

We also asked the Sarpanches if they had run for the position willingly, or if they were persuaded to run by a family or village member, and if they planned to run again in the future. A total of 80% of Sarpanches said they did not contest the elections willingly, and only 21% said they would run again. Most often, women Sarpanches told us that they were persuaded to run by their spouse or male family members. While our larger survey gave us important information and insights, we wanted to learn more and add to the richness of the quantitative data with in-depth life histories of the women who serve in these roles. We wanted to use a representative sample for the life history project so we selected ten women from our original data set based on their level of participation in the Panchayat. Since over 60% of the women were not active or barely active, six of the ten women included in this project were from that subgroup while one was from the active group and three from

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the semi-active group. We started with a total of 20 women for our project, ten in Group A and another ten in Group B to serve as backups, if needed. Group B participants were also distributed throughout the two subgroups, identical to Group A. We ensured we had alternates as we expected some might decline to participate because of the time commitment or for other reasons. In addition, it was also possible that we may be unable to reach some of the selected participants as they could potentially be away from their village. While no one declined to participate, we did have to go to our secondary list for both subgroups as a few Sarpanches were away when the team planned to meet with them and interview them for this project. The life histories presented in this book offer a deeper insight into the lives of these remarkable women that surveys alone could never capture. These are strong, complex women who have often led difficult lives. Some were denied schooling, while others chose to drop out. Some had very difficult childhoods but still remember them fondly. Each of them started to helping with housework and fieldwork at a young age, while their brothers, for those that had brothers, did not have these tasks. The women did not seem to resent this inequality. It is likely that they saw this just as part of how things are. Each of their marriages was arranged, and they had no say in who they married. More than likely, they had not seen their groom until their wedding day. They all came into larger joint families that, over time, tended to break into smaller families. The women expressed a sense of loss when this occurred. Alcohol abuse by their fathers, husbands, brothers, or sons happens to be part of their stories that was shared as a matter of fact with great sorrow. Each had fond memories of the birth of the children, and those that couldn’t have children reflected a deep sense of loss. Their preference for sons over daughters revealed itself in sometimes subtle and in some cases very direct ways, such as when sons are supported to pursue more education and daughters have to drop out of school for different reasons. The life stories reveal how these women leaders became aware of their responsibilities only after they were elected. It is also interesting to observe the women’s expressed overt desire to sacrifice and do good for their village and their community after becoming Sarpanches. In their conversations, some reveal bias towards those from other castes and people who create trouble for them as they perform their work. Petty politics and obstacles created by certain villagers or political opponents are also evident. Insinuations about the misappropriation of funds by political opponents also seem pervasive. There is evidence of official neglect and apathy along with encouragement for women to transfer their constitutional

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responsibility to their male family member, creating a lack of agency for the women who actually are engaged and want to make a difference. However, when officials intervene and encourage women to do their work and take their responsibility seriously, it appears that the women are positively impacted. Unfortunately, for many whose stories we share here, sons or husbands wanted to be elected Sarpanch so when a female reserved seat was declared, they convinced their mothers or wives to run. For many, housework and other chores and the lack of education seem to be a large barrier in their participation in the work of the Panchayat. When asked if they will contest elections again, almost all said no because of health reasons, the fact that it was someone else’s turn to serve, or they had no interest in the first place. Some did not realize that they can actually contest election when there is an open seat; they assumed an open seat is a male seat. However, at the same time, these women’s life narratives show a different side: they are exemplars of how household work can empower women. This empowerment is shown through narratives about work— childhood chores and the kinds of tasks and responsibilities these women had at different ages growing up. As we examine their childhoods, family chronologies, and their embedded messages, we realize that what ultimately matters is being able to take responsibility and initiative, which these women did to the best of their ability in a structure that often did not allow them individual agency. Second, through these narratives, women talk about their experiences, doubts, and anger without fear of judgment or punishment. They also talk amongst each other and exchange their opinions about community values and aspirations. This self-expression reflects that these women are gaining agency. The stories also reveal the fluid dynamics of gender, which emerge as they narrate their life histories. These narratives demonstrate how women negotiate their gender status both in their daily lives and over the course of a lifetime, as daughters, sisters, wives, daughters-in-law, mothers, grandmothers, and Sarpanches. Thus, these narratives are potentially rich sources to explore the process of gendered self-identity. Before one can think of effectively participating in the local governance, one has to create a strong selfidentity, and we believe the reservation system is helping these women representatives see their power in their own family and everyday life. This self-authorship is one step towards development planning and policymaking that engages those who live in the community to take action. Since development processes continue to be dominated by professionals (state and government agencies)—men and women—it is high time, as Jean Davison notes, we listen to “what rural women have to say about the kinds

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of changes they envision in their lives based upon past experiences and present need” (Davison 1989, 4). Giving women Sarpanches opportunities to develop agency to actively participate in village governance and social development is an important objective. Though that objective may presently seem to be out of reach, with adequate support from both state government and district commissioners’ offices, it can indeed happen. As we reflect on each individual’s life history, we recall how Kalobai was a good student but was unable to continue her education. As a determined and stubborn young girl, Kalobai was industrious in fieldwork, housework, stitching clothes, and taking care of younger siblings to help her family. As an adult, she was unable to send her daughter to school after fifth grade, but her sons continued their education. She faced many problems as a Sarpanch due to the petty politics of those who were trying to wrestle power from her family. Over her lifetime, Kalobai reflects on the changing times and attitudes of society and especially on the advances girls have made with respect to their education. Though a member of the schedule caste (the lowest caste in India, which often suffers from discrimination), Kanta Devi is a strong woman. She was a good student, continuing her education through 10th grade. As a young girl, she had many hobbies and actively participated in activities. She has been a relatively active Sarpanch. While a traditional woman in her own right with respect to wearing the veil and following traditions, she is also farsighted and sees the tremendous progress made by society over the last several years, especially with respect to girls, their education, and their ability to work outside the house. Shanti Devi is more of a traditionalist. To her, modesty for women is a virtue. Reflecting on the past, she finds the present wanting, especially with respect to safety for women. She feels a profound sense of loss for the simple ways of life and how things used to be. For example, she ponders about her childhood and tells us that it was expected for people to offer milk to guests, and those glasses were big. Now, however, people can’t even offer a glass of water, let alone milk. She was happy to be the Sarpanch, but her sons were responsible for all the work of the Panchayat, and Shanti Devi had limited interest in the work of the Sarpanch. Bala Devi is a firm believer in purdah, but she does not hesitate to make accommodations to her beliefs. She struggles to understand if all restrictions for girls should be lifted or if some restrictions are okay. As she puts it, “She can do whatever she wants outside but at home one should behave like a wife, a daughter-in-law, and a mother.” She recalls not being allowed to go outside other than for chores and not allowed to talk to other girls. After her marriage, she describes her father-in-law’s

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grief when she gave birth to two daughters and how she was given medicines to have a boy. One can see some glimpses of a powerful woman when she says that after becoming Sarpanch she had to directly address the males and go to the chaupal [traditional meeting place of the Panchayat], a place traditionally not open to women. She was adamant to get her daughters educated, unlike herself, and achieved that goal as her daughters went to college. In her own words, after becoming Sarpanch, she developed some interest in the work and advised her husband on the works that he should undertake, especially for women. However, her health concerns kept her away from contesting the elections again. As a bright young girl, Kamlesh was a good student and an athlete who competed in state-level games and championships. At a very young age, she experienced enormous tragedies, losing her husband in an accident, her six-month-old daughter in her sleep, and soon thereafter her father-inlaw, leaving her all alone. Kamlesh returned to her parents’ home and was married to her present husband, not a very common occurrence in north India. With the help of a supportive husband, villagers, and district officials, Kamlesh comes into her own as a Sarpanch. When the villagers tell her to come to the DC [District Commissioner] office and take off her veil, she does. Outspoken in her personal as well as in her public life, she takes power into her own hands and goes to see the DC about a land encroachment matter. Though at times she can be boastful, as a Sarpanch she has accomplished a lot. A dynamic woman, Kamlesh not only makes sure the elders get their pension but also ensures that the children have a place to play. Shashi Bala was married off by her father against her wishes but was obedient to her father’s wishes and managed her husband’s moodiness. Shashi Bala was very close to her sister-in-law, whose untimely death impacted her significantly. Her husband was a Numbardar [powerful land owner with wide ranging power] who wanted to serve as Sarpanch when the reserved seat was announced. Though they used to do the work together, now she leaves it mostly to her husband as her housework and other obligations interfere. As Sarpanch, she helped get pensions for the villagers and helped maintain hygiene by building toilets. She hopes her village will get a prize for the development works that have happened there. Kulpati’s husband was the Sarpanch for 15 years and now her son wants to be Sarpanch. She was asked to contest the election because of the reserved seat. Her son does most of the work on her behalf, but Kulpati does attend to the needs of the women and all the guests who come to their home. Her son files all the paperwork. She goes to meetings when needed

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but does not talk to anybody. She feels that because she was not educated, she couldn’t do things and did not fully understand things. Also, because her household chores have stayed unchanged, going to meetings takes time away from her chores. It is true that Raj Rani has become a Sarpanch but her life has remained unchanged. The routine of the village or the work of the Panchayat has also remained unchanged, with her husband managing all the affairs just as when he was the Sarpanch. She only attends meetings when she has to go or when her husband is not available. She is not inclined to do the job of a Sarpanch. In her words, “There are domestic chores to be done also. Man is man after all.” Though incomplete, we felt compelled to share Kishni Devi’s story, as she is part of the tapestry of women Sarpanches in Haryana who are slowly changing the culture and governance of the villages in Haryana. Kishni Devi had to stop her education because her mother was ill. She remembered that life used to be simple and that they sang songs during the festivals. She is a storyteller and a romantic at heart. Devi’s story demonstrates that even though changes are slow, sometimes hardly traceable, each of these women has impacted how villagers see female Sarpanches and how empowered they themselves feel. The last history is of Shanti Devi. Even though she is illiterate, Shanti Devi sees the importance of having a small family, wearing clean clothes, and keeping the surroundings clean and getting a decent education. Life is by no means easy for Shanti Devi but she has lived life to its fullest. In spite of her lack of education, she is a relatively successful Sarpanch and, with the support of her sons, has made several significant improvements in her village. The stories these female Sarpanches are writing in the annals of history is just the start—a lot more is to come. As new education requirements are set and there is increasing pressure that women attend all meetings and sign all paperwork, society will have to change. Some women will circumvent and co-opt these new rules and expectations, but others will become more active and participate more fully in their roles, leading their villages and addressing their development challenges. Change is inevitable: the question is, will the changes be dragged out over decades before women rightfully take their place in governing their villages and their nation just as men have for hundreds of years? Women’s empowerment deals with the entire gambit of day-to-day life, which includes the right to education and health and equal opportunity in pursuing economic activities. It should also include political empowerment that allows women to have a seat in governing. Effective

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political involvement should include the effective and equitable representation of women in decision-making structures, both formally and informally, and their engagement in the formulation of policies affecting the socio-economic groups in which they live.

References Davison, Jean. 1989. Voices from Mutira: Lives of Rural Gikuyu Women. Boulder, CO: Lynne Rienner Publishers.

APPENDIX

Prompting Questions for Life History Interviews Note: Please remember that these questions are just for “prompting” your interviewee. You DO NOT need to ask each question, line by line. The idea is to have the women tell their life stories themselves. These questions will only be implemented if the narrator struggles or hits a point where she cannot think of what to say next. You want to encourage her to tell her story in its entirety, as she sees fit to tell it. The story is told (and retold) in her words.

Background * Let us start at the beginning. Please tell me your name and how old you are. Where and when were you born? * Tell me about your family. Are both your parents living? Do they live nearby? Tell me about your parents. * How many brothers and sisters do you have? Do they live nearby? Tell me about them. * What do you remember as a child? What are some major events you remember from that time period in your life? * Tell me about your life as a child. What were you like as a child? Whom did you play with? What kinds of things did you do during the daytime? * What were you asked to do at home? What kinds of chores and responsibilities did you have? What did your brothers and sisters have to do at your house—what kinds of jobs and responsibilities did they have? * Did your mother, grandmother or other family members tell you stories growing up? Do you remember these stories? Tell me one that sticks in your mind.

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Educational Background * (If educated) Where did you go to school? Tell me about your education. * What are some particular memories you have from school? University? * Whom did you spend the most time with while in school? Tell me about that person/those people. * What are some major events you remember from that time period in your life? What are particular memories from your school days? * What was your favorite subject in school? Why? Which subject did you like the least? Explain. * (If left school or university before completion) Tell me about that time. Why did you leave when you did?

Relationships * Tell me about your mother. Tell me about your father. * Tell me about other important adults in your childhood—friends, siblings, cousins, etc. * (If married) When did your parents start to think about the next phase of your life (i.e., “marriage”)? How did your parents go about this? (i.e., What kind of procedures were adopted by your parents?) Tell me about your feelings at that time. * (If NOT married) Do your parents want you to marry? What are your feelings about marriage? * (If married) When and how did you meet your husband? Tell me about him. * (If married) Tell me about the experiences of the very first year after marriage. * (If married) Do you live with your in-laws? Please tell me about your in-laws (mother-in-law, father-in-law, sisters- and brothers-in-law, etc.). * (If she has children) When and where did you have your children? Tell me about your experience when you were pregnant. How did you feel at that time? * (If she has children) Tell me about your children. How would you describe each of their personalities? What is your hope for each of their futures? * (If she has children) What are the responsibilities and chores each child is expected to do in your home?

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* (If NO children) Tell me your thoughts on children. Do you wish to have children someday?

Interests and Daily Life * Where do you live now, and for how many years have you been living there? Tell me about your home. * Describe for me a typical day. What kinds of things do you do? * Who does the daily chores (e.g., cooking, cleaning, taking care of children) in your home? * Do you attend religious services? Do you have time to go to a temple/mosque/church? What role does religion or spirituality play in your life? * If you had an entire day free (with no work, house responsibilities, or childcare responsibilities), what would you do?

Sarpanch Work * Tell me about when you first agreed to run as the Sarpanch. How did you decide to run for this position? Were you happy when you won the Sarpanch election? Why or why not? * Tell me about your day-to-day responsibilities as a Sarpanch. * How do you travel to the block office or district office? With whom? * What do you like the least about this position? Why? What do you like the most? Explain. * How often do you interact with the community and in what capacity? * How often do you interact with other women Sarpanches? Men Sarpanches? * How often do you interact with other women Panches? Men Panches? * What do you think is the single most important issue facing your community? What kinds of resources would you need to address this concern? * If you could meet with the highest elected official in India, what would you say? What kinds of issues would you discuss? * Please tell me what you think is your greatest contribution in this position. * Would you run for this position again? Why or why not?

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Changes in Life * Is your life different than before? How so? * Please describe for me some things that have really changed in your life. How has your community changed in your lifetime? Indian society? How do you feel about those changes? * What has been the happiest moment in your life? Please tell me about it. And what has been the most painful moment? Please explain. * In one year, where will you be living? What will you be doing? In five years? In ten years? * What do you hope for your future? (If married and with children) For you and your family?

GLOSSARY

ADC—Assistant District Commissioner Ambassador—brand of car Anganwadi—a government-run children’s center that provides food and medicine to young children Arva—good omen for cooking, to bless the cooking process Arya Samaj Dharam—a reform movement of Hinduism Augury—ceremony to bring contentment BA—Bachelor of Arts Badi—grain Badi Mummy— Elderly mother, an honorific title Balmikis—reference to caste in India. People in this caste are part of the lowest caste in India. Baan—ceremonies Ban—a custom in which turmeric powder is used on the body of bridegroom or bride Baniya—a caste Barothi—ceremony Barsim—type of fodder Barsi—one-year anniversary Batiyala—type of jewelry BCA—Bachelor of Chartered Accountancy BCom—Bachelor of Commerce BDO—Block Development Officer BEd—Bachelor of Education “Beer ko khaye Haansi Aur Mard Ko Kaye Khansi”— Beer: a woman, Khaye: to eat/destroy, Haansi: laughing, Mard: a man, Khansi: coughing. This sentence means that if a woman laughs unnecessarily, then she is corrupted, because her laughing attracts men toward her. In the same way, if a man does not enter in the house after coughing then it reflects poorly on him. Good men should enter the house after coughing so that women sitting in the house can wear their veil and cover their faces Beta—this word is usually used for the sons, but for daughters also to show that they are no less than sons Beti—daughter Bhabhi—sister-in-law

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Bhai—brother or brother-in-law Bhadva-Sawan—usually July or August Bhandara—free food distributed to all those who attend as part of a religious ceremony Bhat-nyotna—a festival Bihari—person from the state of Bihar in India Bidi—local cigarette Black jamuns—ripe fruit Bori—sack Boudi—crop BPL card—Below Poverty Line card. Those with this card can access special assistance. Also referred to as yellow card Brahmin—upper caste Bua—aunt, father’s sister Burfies—Indian sweets CBSE—Central Board of Secondary Education Chacha—uncle, father’s younger brother Chacha-tau—uncles, father’s brothers Chachi—aunt, the wife of father’s younger brother Chachi-Tai—aunts, the wives of father’s or father-in-law’s brothers Chakliwala-Gandasa—round shaped cutting machine Chamahi—commemorative ceremony six months after the death of a relative Chamars—lower caste Chapattis—flat unleavened bread also called Roti Chappal—slippers Chaudas—14th day of the full moon Chudas—lower caste Chaupal—traditional meeting place of the Panchayat Chopper—cutter Chowkidars—watchmen or guards Chulha—clay stove CM—Chief Minister Compartment—failed in one or more subjects in the board education CNC—name of factory CR—name of school Dada Bhaiya— family religious God Dadi—husband’s grandmother Dal—lentils DC—District Commissioner Dedh— word for a lower-status person

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Depot—store that distributes/sells subsidized food/grain Desi—local or traditional DGV—name of school Dhanki—woman belonging to a lower caste Diwali—a Hindu festival of lights, held in either the month of October or November. It is particularly associated with Lakshmi, the goddess of prosperity, and celebrates the victory of good over evil. Diya—earthen lamp Doosar—dowry Duppatta—long scarf Dussar—a custom DSM—name of school Falgun—the month of March according to the Indian calendar Falsi—an instrument for threshing wheat Fere—ritual, part of the wedding ceremony Ghadwa—an earthen pot Gandasa—cutting machine Ghar—house or room Ghee—clarified butter Ghimars—name of a caste Gitwara—a place where cow dung cakes are prepared Gotra—sub-caste Grams—some lentils are called grams Gram Sabha—Village meeting Gur—jaggery, made from sugarcane Halva—Indian sweet Harad—medicinal plant Havan—prayer services Headlocket—jewelry that is worn on the forehead Holi—a Hindu spring festival celebrated in February or March with colors to celebrate a good harvest Imli—tamarind, fruit ITI—Industrial Training Institution Jaccha—woman who has recently given birth Jaimala—an Indian wedding garland symbolic of the popular marriage ceremony Jalebies—Indian sweet Jamun—a type of fruit Jannet—bridegroom’s procession or journey to the bride’s house Jats—dominant ethnic group in Haryana JBT exam—Junior Basic Training exam. This is a two-year

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program that students can enroll in after completing 12th grade. Jewadi—type of jewelry Ji—added to the end of a title or name to denote respect Jijaji—sister’s husband Jiji—sister, sister-in-law, or daughter Johad—pond Jowar—grain Jyot—lamp Kabbaddi—a contact sport Kaccha—semi-permanent or made with mud or clay Kacchi—not properly cooked Kaka—father Kanagat—a ceremony where once in a year, food or other items/things are offered to the cows and poor people or in a temple, so that the soul of our forefathers may rest in peace Kangna—a marriage ritual game involving rings Kanyadan— giving of one’s daughter in marriage Kadahi—process of making sweets in a large pot Kartik—a month in the Indian calendar, usually in the beginning of November Kartik-Snan—sacred bath held in the month of November] Kharif—summer crop Kho-kho—a tag sport Kiroshia—crocheting Krishna Murari—Lord Shri Krishna, who in this avatar flirts with young ladies Kuldhi—an instrument used to cut fodder Kumbh—religious celebration Kurtas—tunics or tops Ladoo—Indian sweet Latrine—toilet Loor—dance Maasi—mother’s sister Mahila—women’s Maklava—a ritual to take the bride from her birth home to her husband’s home Mama—mother’s brother Matador—brand of a car Matric (or matriculation) — a term commonly used to refer to the final year of high school or secondary school certificate examination Mishri—sugar

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MLA—state legislator Motions—diarrhea MTech—Master of Technology Naib Tehsilder—officer in charge of obtaining taxes from a tehsil or district Namaste—greeting Nana—maternal grandfather Nani—maternal grandmother Neem—medicinal plant Nirmal village—clean village NREGA—National Rural Employment Guarantee Act Numbardar—powerful land owner with wide ranging power Om shanti—chant for peace Pakodas—savory snacks Paisa—Indian currency/coin Panches—members of the Panchayat Pandit—Indian priest Panna—side, referring to people belonging to a certain group Patwari—usually denotes the person appointed by a local government or land authority to maintain and update land ownership records for a specific area as well as to undertake the collection of land taxes Peel—a type of fruit Phirni— circular path around the village Piliya—jaundice Periods—menstruation Pithu—a game played by stacking small round stones Prabhakar—music Pradhan—elected president of the village council or Panchayat, also called Sarpanch in certain parts of India Pucca—permanent structure, made of brick or cement Puranmasi—the day of full moon Purdah—veil Rabi-winter crop Ram—Indian God Ram-ram—greeting Ranbir Sadan—a place to assemble and stay Roti—flat unleavened bread also called chapattis Sabji—vegetables Salwar—loose Indian pants Sarpanch—elected president of the village council or Panchayat, also called Pradhan in certain parts of India

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Sasural—husband’s and in-law’s home Satsang—prayer service Sawan—name of a month, usually the end of July or start of August SDM—Sub-Divisional Magistrate Sidhi—game Sindhori—functions like a rope SP—Superintendent of Police SHO—Station House Officer Suit—dress Tankis—water tanks Tasla—small tub Tau—uncle, father’s older brother Tayas—aunt, wife of father’s older brother Tehsil—district Thakurs—upper caste Thimars—lower caste Thota—male buffalo Thurni—a game Tiffin—lunch box Tinde—vegetable, a round gourd Tola—a unit used to measure the weight of gold (one tola is equal to ten grams) Twar—type of grass Water omen ceremony—a ceremony in which water is poured for cleansing of any evil Zamindara—farm