Humanitarian Work, Social Change, and Human Behavior: Compassion for Change [1st ed.] 9783030458775, 9783030458782

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Humanitarian Work, Social Change, and Human Behavior Compassion for Change

Humanitarian Work, Social Change, and Human Behavior

Cornelia C. Walther

Humanitarian Work, Social Change, and Human Behavior Compassion for Change

Cornelia C. Walther Tübingen, Baden-Württemberg, Germany

ISBN 978-3-030-45877-5 ISBN 978-3-030-45878-2 (eBook) https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-45878-2 © The Editor(s) (if applicable) and The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Nature Switzerland AG 2020 This work is subject to copyright. All rights are solely and exclusively licensed by the Publisher, whether the whole or part of the material is concerned, specifically the rights of translation, reprinting, reuse of illustrations, recitation, broadcasting, reproduction on microfilms or in any other physical way, and transmission or information storage and retrieval, electronic adaptation, computer software, or by similar or dissimilar methodology now known or hereafter developed. The use of general descriptive names, registered names, trademarks, service marks, etc. in this publication does not imply, even in the absence of a specific statement, that such names are exempt from the relevant protective laws and regulations and therefore free for general use. The publisher, the authors and the editors are safe to assume that the advice and information in this book are believed to be true and accurate at the date of publication. Neither the publisher nor the authors or the editors give a warranty, expressed or implied, with respect to the material contained herein or for any errors or omissions that may have been made. The publisher remains neutral with regard to jurisdictional claims in published maps and institutional affiliations. Cover illustration: © Melisa Hasan This Palgrave Pivot imprint is published by the registered company Springer Nature Switzerland AG The registered company address is: Gewerbestrasse 11, 6330 Cham, Switzerland

Preface

We live in a flowing balance of apparent opposites, which shape everything that exists. Individuals, communities, wider socio-economic spheres, and the planet are connected in a continuum of constant transformation. The visible and the invisible aspects of our existence, mind, and matter, are inseparable counterparts that influence our everyday experience. Each dimension influences the others and is influenced in return. The world as we know it is a continually evolving combination of micro-, meso-, macrolayers which together evolve in the meta-dimension of life. Through the four dimensions of our being, aspirations, emotions, thoughts and sensations, each of us is a micro-representation of the whole. Just as one DNA double helix contains all the information of the organism that it is part of.1 It is a spiral dynamic from the inside out, which is nurtured from the outside in. The above may sound abstract if not opaque, yet this book is the opposite. It is a story with tools to reflect on your own experiences. You may wish to read straight through, or to pause, feel, and contemplate the content as you move through the chapters. Your choice. I aimed to limit references to a minimum to facilitate readability. If you are interested in a detailed explanation of the scientific underpinnings of the paradigm shift and the methodology that you will read about here please refer to my Development, Humanitarian Aid and Social Welfare. Purpose for Power (2020).

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This book looks at individual introspection as an entry point to changed action (human behaviour). Building on this premise an approach to institutional self-examination is suggested for organizations that exist to help others (humanitarian work). The complementary nature of both, individual and collective insight is needed to build a more inclusive and sustainable world (social change). Independently from the line of work you are in, be it humanitarian or private sector, the following four questions may serve to start reflecting on the status quo of your life. However, they have double relevance if you are involved in social work. Because your attitude and action impacts not only your own life but the institution and the people it works for. The lives of other people depend on you. 1. Why are You here? 2. Who are You? 3. How do You want to be? 4. What does the person whom You aspire to be do? These four questions form the logical backbone of the book. I suggest you read these questions out loud and answer them now, jotting down on paper whatever comes to your mind, be it bullet points or complete sentences, before you continue. Once you have finished reading the entire book, please do the same exercise of answering the four questions before looking at your initial answers. What is the point of zooming in on these four basic questions? Being and doing what we desire most begins with facing the status quo. Happiness, in its very many forms and expressions, is a different experience for everyone. Your definition of happiness may not be mine or that of one of your neighbours. And unless you sit down and define clearly for yourself what it is that you aspire to in this life in order to be happy, you remain a plaything of the desires of other people. Things will just happen to you and since you are not positioned inside, you will move along outside, aligning with the positions of others. This may sometimes be fortunate, sometimes not. Overall, it is unlikely that you will reach the destination of your dreams, if you do not set yourself consciously on a clear course to steer along the way. Influence on the interplay of our aspirations, emotions, thoughts, and sensations, combined with honesty about Who we are (and who we are not), and awareness of the interconnected elements

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that shape this Who, enables us to identity Why we are—the meaning of our existence; and move towards it. To make you think, feel, act, and to aspire as we progress through the book, each chapter combines theory and practice, evidence and experience. This follows a technique that could be labeled as CCCC (consciousness, compassion, commitment, and connection) which emanates from the same overall paradigm that underpins the book. In addition, and to further assist in this endeavour, each chapter includes at least one practical exercise for you to assess if what you have just read not only make sense on paper but whether or not it works in practice for You. You may be tempted to read on, with the intention to try the proffered exercises sometime later. Since it is helpful to begin immediately,2 I suggest you try them as proposed, while moving through the book. The exercises may be uncomfortable if you do them with genuine honesty. Respect your own pace but please start. The first step is the hardest. Throughout the book you are guided towards the concept to understand its logic (mind); to feel what its application can be like through empathy with the story (heart); to act upon this combination of knowledge and emotion, by applying the proposed content personally (body); and finally, to share your experience with others when the resulting insights become part of your own story (soul3 ). Each of these four elements, soul, heart, mind, and body relates to the four questions above (see Fig. 1). Purpose, the question of Why you are here is the core of your own story (aspiration). It shapes Who you are, impacting the way you feel about yourself and others (emotion). Once you know why you are here, ergo what matters to you, and who you are presently, you can focus and decide How you want to be (mind), which then influences What you do, and therefore What you become (body). This book is permeated by four principles. The first is that the reality that we experience results from apparent contrasts, which are part of the same unit. Nothing comes without its counterpart and the myriad shapes and shades that soften the transition from one extreme to the other. Everything positive has a price and everything unpleasant has a glimmer of light. Life is too complex for simply black and white, as much of our experience unfolds within the colours of the rainbow. The ‘other’ side may not always be visible immediately, yet eventually it unfolds. As stated in Zen philosophy, ‘sometimes it is the biggest gift not to get what you want most’, which is mirrored by

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Fig. 1 Everything is connected, from the inside out and the outside in. Our soul finds its expression in our aspirations. These influence the heart, which is the source of our emotions. How we feel impacts our mind, source of our thoughts. How and what we think impacts our overall well-being, and our behaviour. Our body is the interface between our inner and outer realities. Experiences influence our mind and heart, our thoughts and feelings. The experiences that our body encounters colour our inner realm, while the latter shapes what we do, the expression of our being in the world (Source Author)

the Occidental saying of ‘God punishes you by granting you your biggest wish’. The second principle is the understanding of a connected continuum, that links not only our aspirations, emotions, thoughts, and sensations within a constant interplay, but connects also individuals, communities, countries/economies, and the planet. It is this interplay that makes each of us who we are and the world what it is. The third principle is the complementary nature of being. This fusion happens across the four dimensions of the continuum, as well as between the apparently contrasting opposites. Contrasts complement each other.

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The fourth principle is change. Everything changes, always and constantly. In small and large ways reality evolves every day. Within a dynamic of impermanence every change contributes to an overall dynamic of evolution, transformation. Nothing is permanent, neither mind nor matter. Anchored in this quadruple logic, the chapters of this book are sequenced to balance each other. Chapter one introduces my story as one illustration of the track that an individual journey of becoming, from the inside out, can take. The second chapter presents the theoretical underpinning of the logic that may serve to trigger and nurture this dynamic.4 The paradigm shift that is proposed in this book is age-old, applying across socio-economic contexts and educational status, as the need for meaning connects individuals beyond cultures, borders, and income. I condensed it while expanding practical ways to apply it. (The second chapter explains why it is here called POZE.) Whereas Chapters 1 and 2 focus on the inside out dynamic that underpins change, Chapter 3 widens the scope from individuals (human behaviour) to the non-profit/humanitarian work sector, looking at entities that exist to make the world a better and happier place—and, unfortunately in some cases, fail. Chapter 4 offers a set of conclusions and thoughts to pursue the journey. Aspiration drives humans. Society is made and shaped by humans. Ergo, human aspirations are the centre of society’s prosperity (or doom).5 Anchored in experience and research, I will make the case as to why the quest for meaning is the core of individual happiness. While acknowledging the impact of macro- and meso-level dynamics, the book shows why sustainable social change begins with mind-shifts at the micro-level and how such mind-shifts contribute to the harmonization of interpersonal relations, institutional impact, and social peace. If an organization’s mandate is its DNA, its personnel are the physical manifestation of this DNA; one without the other is irrelevant. Only if staff are authentic, does the institution appear trustworthy to the public. Points will be provided on some of the causes and consequences that have led organizations with an aspirational mandate, such as the United Nations (UN), and many humanitarian non-governmental organizations (NGO), to lose their influence and impact. Along with elements of reflection for these organizations, certain areas for institutional transformation will be suggested to nurture synchronization of institutional ambitions and individual staff attitudes.

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Although the present pages are geared towards promoting social change and transformation, they are not a condemnation of the status quo or a push to quit it. Reading through the book it may appear at first sight that I doubt the concept of humanitarian and development action. This is not the case. Today more than ever before, I am convinced that the mission of social organizations is crucially needed; and many of the most inspiring people whom I have been lucky to meet are or were part of either an NGO or the UN. I do not question the Why and Who of these entities. The present pages suggest a new perspective on their What and How, and offers entry points to start with an honest internal review of the ongoing dynamics. The underpinning logic is that of a holistic, and candid look at the interplay between purpose, people, places, and power. Differently said, this book is an invitation to open a new chapter that optimizes the complementary added value of all parts of society, beginning with the individuals and organizations whose vocation it is to help. Life is a journey, and this book is an invitation to look at it from another angle. The fact that you picked it up and read beyond the first page indicates that you seek something. This book does not provide eyes; it might merely help you to open wider those that you have already. Please look at the method that is presented here with a critical mindset, and after giving it a fair trial discard what does not make sense to you. The coming pages dare you to rethink your current perspective; it is up to you to accept it or reject this invitation. What you read may either help you identify what motivates your behaviour, possibly unbeknownst to you; or it will strengthen the connection if you are already in touch with your innermost self. Tübingen, Germany

Cornelia C. Walther

Notes 1. Deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) is a molecule composed of two chains that coil around each other to form a double helix, which carries genetic instructions for the development, functioning, growth, and reproduction of all known organisms and many viruses (Alberts et al. 2014). Individuals and society are marked by similar dynamics; although there are clear differences in the elements and functions that characterize the respective dimensions

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4.

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that they are made of (Gould 2002), the same logic of an ongoing interaction and mutual interplay shapes their evolution. Another way to think of this interplay are the replications that result in different structures by using fractals. As the Tao Zhu says in the Tao Te Ching ‘Every journey begins with one single step, no matter how small’. The word ‘soul’ in the paradigm presented here is not related to dogma or religion but understood as the source of humanity’s quest for meaning. Deriving from the old French ‘espirit’ which comes from Latin ‘spiritus ’ (soul, courage, breathe), the soul’s quest for meaning contributes to the individual’s inherent ability to overcome challenges and thrive despite them (Jones and Buckley 1997). It is the core of resilience. This is partly done by summarizing the approach and the philosophy that was introduced in Development, Humanitarian Aid and Social Welfare: Social Change from the Inside Out (Walther 2020). As this book goes into print (May 2020) COVID-19 engulfs the World. Declared a Pandemic by the World Health Organization on March 11th, it illustrates the dramatic consequences that ensue when societies do not invest systematically in the basic social services required by all their members. When the interests of a few dominate over the needs of many. The outcome of COVID-19 depends on the ability of individuals, and of countries, to widen their perspective from me to us. Hopefully the paradigm shift that is presented in this book contributes to this change in dynamics.

References Alberts, B., Johnson, A., Lewis, J., Raff, M., Roberts, K., & Walter, P. (2014). Chapter 4: DNA, Chromosomes and Genomes. In Molecular Biology of the Cell (6th ed.). New York: Garland Science. Gould, J. S. (2002). The Structure of Evolutionary Theory. Cambridge: Harvard University Press. Jones, G, & Buckley, J. (1997). Spirituality and Social Embodiment. Oxford: Blackwell. Walther, C. (2020). Development, Humanitarian Aid and Social Welfare: Social Change from the Inside Out. New York: Palgrave Macmillan.

Acknowledgements

The past and present influenced my being and becoming, planting the seeds of this book. What you will read contains neither dogma nor blueprint. It has arisen from the interaction with people and circumstances over four decades; drawing on a treasure of science and spirituality that well precedes and exceeds my attempt of getting a grasp on ‘reality’. The present pages are unlikely to have been written and finalized without the interest and support, love and kindness, that I encountered while writing it. I am grateful for the gentle and candid reviews of David Stone and Enrique Delamonica; for the enthusiasm, backing, and professionalism encountered at Palgrave Macmillan, in particular by my editor Alina Yurova, and to Ashwini Elango, Azarudeen Ahamed Sheriff and Henry Moore for their skillful editing. But the journey began before, and a book is a beautiful opportunity to give thanks to my parents, Barbara and Manfred Walther, for allowing me to choose and go my way, loving me all along. The list of those who shaped, marked, influenced, and inspired me is lengthy. Rather than singling out some at the expense of others I would like to express gratitude to all of those who crossed my path, walking with me or not. Many of those whom I was lucky to meet are gone, live on another continent, and/or may never access these pages because they cannot read. I hope that one day the philosophy that is shared here will eventually seep into the realities they are facing.

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Finally, I would like to thank You for choosing this book. I hope that some of its content will serve you. There may be ideas or suggestions that you will disagree with. That is good because it means that you read and contemplated them. Leave them aside and take what is useful for your journey. Thank you for giving this book a chance to contribute to your life.

Contents

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Change from the Inside Out Introduction 1.1 Work to Live or Live to Work 1.2 Four Entry Points to Connect 1.3 Shifting the Angle 1.4 Transitions, Letting Go of the Old to Find the New References

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Paths of Change Introduction 2.1 A Continuum of Change—Inside Out, Outside In 2.1.1 Aspiration (Soul): From Purpose to Passion, to Positioning, to Personal Power 2.1.2 Emotion (Heart): From Connection to Compassion, to Creativity, to Change That Is Relatable and Desired 2.1.3 Thought (Mind): From Honesty to Honour, to Focus, to Humility 2.1.4 Sensation (Body): From Influence Over Our Inner Dimensions to an Inspiring Presence, to Insight and Thereby Action with Impact 2.2 The Interplay of the Four Dimensions; Examples Related to Well-Being

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CONTENTS

2.2.1 2.2.2 2.2.3 2.2.4 2.2.5 2.2.6

Choosing Coherence Igniting Intention Happiness and/or Meaning? Avoiding Comfort Zone Cultivation Correlating Circumstances Building Influence from the Inside Out, and Vice Versa 2.2.7 From Influence to Inspiration: The Scale of Influence 2.3 From Awareness to Action 2.3.1 What We Do Influences Who We Are 2.3.2 Who We Are Influences What We Do 2.3.3 Who We Are Influences How We Perceive the World 2.3.4 Who We Are Influences How the World Perceives Us 2.3.5 How We Perceive the World Influences How We act in and React to It 2.3.6 What We Do for Others We Do for Ourselves 2.3.7 What We Do for Ourselves, We Do for Others 2.4 The Mathematics of Transformation References 3

Human Behaviour and Humanitarian Work Introduction 3.1 Embodying the Talk of Transformation 3.1.1 Humanitarian Action 3.1.2 Individual and Institutional Purpose 3.2 Implications 3.2.1 Roots, Rules, and Roles 3.2.2 Meaning-Making and Role-Plays 3.3 Compassion for Change. A Practical Proposition to Reshape Social Organizations 3.4 Translating Theory to Practice References

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Daring to Be Human Introduction 4.1 Balance and Choices 4.1.1 Coherence of Aspiration and Action Equals Added Value 4.1.2 Coping with Incoherence 4.2 Synchronization, from the Inside Out and the Outside In 4.2.1 Facing Forward 4.2.2 The POZE Perspective—A Practical Prism References

Index

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131 131 132 133 135 137 141 145 151 153

About the Author

Cornelia C. Walther combines praxis and research. As a humanitarian practitioner, Cornelia worked for nearly two decades with UNICEF and the World Food Program in large scale emergencies in West Africa, Afghanistan and Haiti, mostly operating as head of communication. As coach and researcher, she collaborates since 2018 with the Center for Humanitarian Leadership at Deakin University; and serves as a mentor within the Harvard Women in Defense and Diplomacy network. Being part of the European Union’s Network on humanitarian assistance she lectured for five years at Aix-Marseille’s Law faculty. Aside from her interest in the multiple shapes of influence, Cornelia’s focus is on social transformation from the inside out, looking at individual aspirations as the point of departure. In 2017, she initiated the POZE (Purpose, Om, Zoom, Expression) dynamic in Haiti, offering individuals tools to identify and pursue their aspirations. The network is now expanding into the Americas, Africa, and Europe. Her objective is to refine a methodology that influences people towards wanting to get involved in social change processes, rather than obliging them to act for the sake of others. She holds a Ph.D. in Law and is a certified yoga and meditation teacher. In 2020, two of her books will be published by Palgrave Macmillan/ Springer, Development, Humanitarian Action and Social Welfare, followed by Humanitarian Work, Social Change and Human Behavior. Get in touch with her via https://www.linkedin.com/in/ corneliawalther. xix

List of Figures

Fig. 1

Fig. 1.1

Everything is connected, from the inside out and the outside in. Our soul finds its expression in our aspirations. These influence the heart, which is the source of our emotions. How we feel impacts our mind, source of our thoughts. How and what we think impacts our overall well-being, and our behaviour. Our body is the interface between our inner and outer realities. Experiences influence our mind and heart, our thoughts and feelings. The experiences that our body encounters colour our inner realm, while the latter shapes what we do, the expression of our being in the world (Source Author) Everything is connected, from the inside out and from the outside in. Our aspirations impact our emotions, which influence our thoughts and hereby our experiences and expressions (sensation). Conversely, the way in which we express ourselves causes certain experiences, which result in physical sensations that trigger thoughts and emotions, which fuel or alter our aspirations; and shape our memories. These memories influence our emotions and thoughts in future situations, and hereby our future expressions and experiences (Source Author)

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LIST OF FIGURES

Fig. 1.2

Fig. 2.1

Fig. 2.2

Everything is connected, from the inside out and the outside in. The social conundrum created by COVID-19 illustrates the interplay between short-term relief (humanitarian action), medium term assistance (development) and long-term building back. The 2020 crises shows that social transformation is not only missing, as a fourth pillar, of the Nexus equation, it is the umbrella that entails the others. Social peace is the counterpart of sustainable transformation; both require the empowerment of and support to individuals. While (long-If lasting) peace is the core aspiration (at the core), the humanitarian action-development assistance bridge needs to be crossed in order to arrive at sustainable social change and transformation. These elements influence each other mutually. Sustainable impact in either of these fields begins with a holistic perspective of individual well-being; and it is nurtured by the mutual complementarity of investments and progress in all dimensions (Source Author) Pause, stepping back from doing to being. Pausing whatever you do, to just be in the moment. Observe, taking in your surroundings as they are; using your senses to see, hear, touch, taste, and smell what is going on around you; without analysing or judging. Zoom in, focussing on the essential. Noticing your thoughts arise and pass away. Perceiving your feelings in this moment; identifying them as they arise and pass away, without analysing or judging. Experience and Expression, being present with all senses awake. Putting into words what you feel in that moment (Source Author) Everything is connected, from the inside out and the outside in. Individuals represent the micro-dimension of a multidimensional system. They form, shape, and experience the meso-level which results from the communities they are part of (voluntarily or biologically, directly or indirectly). The contours of economic, political, cultural systems form the macro-level. Micro-, meso- and macro-dimensions operate within a meta-system that is the interface between the tangible and the unknown. Within a seamless continuum one dimension is influenced by the others and influences it (Source Author)

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LIST OF FIGURES

Fig. 2.3

Fig. 2.4

Fig. 2.5

Fig. 2.6

Fig. 2.7

The four dimensions of who we are, including their manifestations inside and outside, belong to the same micro-verse; constantly interacting they mutually influence each other (Source Author) Everything is connected, from the inside out and the outside in. Passion comes from purpose. The aspiration for meaning is a compass to guide our existence. Compassion for us builds compassion with others, and hereby connection, inside and outside. Honesty allows to acknowledge and accept, us and others; without pretention. Positive influence on the behaviour of others derives from understanding, and consciously influencing our own behaviour Conversely, when our action is an honest expression of our thoughts and emotions, we are moving towards the fulfilment of our purpose (Source Author) The level of our internal alignment impacts how we externally perceive others and how we are perceived by them. (from left to right, bottom up) When the internal and external manifestations of our being, our experiences and our expressions, are disconnected we are fixated on the status quo, as an apparent asset of assurance; when internally our emotions and thinking have begun to align with our aspirations, but our external behaviour is not reflecting that yet, we tend to spend time and energy worrying about the status quo while lacking the endeavour to change it; when our external behaviour mirrors the person whom we aspire to be in the long term, even though internally our emotions and thoughts may not yet be fully aligned, an opening orientation emerges which gradually expands and becomes ever more intuitive and natural—if the behaviour is maintained over time. Once our aspirations and action mirror each other, complete freedom manifests. Peace inside and out ensues (Source Author) The four dimensions stand in a constant interplay, mutually influencing each other. Whether it is balance or imbalance, the impact manifests itself both internally (affecting how we perceive ourselves and the environment) and externally (affecting how we express ourselves, and hereby how we are perceived by others) (Source Author) Influence on ourselves entails the power to change what is out of synch with the Why that we aspire to. Humility that results from genuine introspection sets the ground for unfiltered interpersonal connections which must be the starting point if sustainable impact is the aim of our endeavours (Source Author)

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LIST OF FIGURES

Fig. 3.1

Fig. 4.1

Fig. 4.2

Everything is connected, from the inside out and the outside in. The individual is the smallest component of a global system and part of various communities, which result from biological, social, or professional constellations. Individuals and families/communities form society, within the contours of nation states, economies, and cultures. These three dimensions are part of Planet Earth, coexisting with nature. Whatever occurs in one dimension has consequences on the other ones. Individuals influence the communities they are part of, and hereby society, and the planet. Whereas changes in the environment impact the dynamics of society and the communities and individuals that it is made of (Source Author) Everything is connected. The four basic questions that underpin human existence are as interwoven as the answers that eventually arise as life goes by. Taking time to consider how they relate to one’s present situation is useful, to assess the status quo and the way forward (Source Author) (Source Author)

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List of Tables

Table 4.1

Table 4.2

Intention, awareness, and insight mutually influence each other, either nurturing or impeding an attitude that is in line with our aspirations and long-term goals Spiritual evolution, social relations, personal growth, and professional endeavors, or using our best skills/knowledge in the context of our responsibilities, mutually influence each other, either nurturing or impeding a behaviour that is in line with our aspirations

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CHAPTER 1

Change from the Inside Out

Abstract This chapter illustrates a life story, intellectually and emotionally. Anecdotal evidence from my own experience shows the interconnected influence that the four dimensions of human experience (aspiration, emotion, thought, and sensation) have on each other, on our personal wellbeing, and on others. Following the storyline through the next pages you will be guided to gradually notice the connection between your own experiences and this framework; four interconnected principles operated in them: Connection—Everything is linked. Nothing exists in a vacuum. Change—Everything evolves, constantly. Continuum—Everything is connected in a seamless flow. Complementarity—Everything exists in relation to something else, that may be its opposite and the counterpart that makes it complete. Keywords Connection · Change · Continuum · Complementarity

© The Author(s) 2020 C. C. Walther, Humanitarian Work, Social Change, and Human Behavior, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-45878-2_1

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Introduction Observing seagulls, I feel a glimmer of their freedom inside. Birds do not weigh themselves down with things. What they have they are; at any time, in any place, ready to stay or move on. Though human beings are commonly qualified as the zenith of evolution, we can learn from animals. No lion is inclined to kill and collect more food than he needs for himself and his pride; no eagle builds more than one nest to breed her offspring. Putting things into perspective, it appears that the retirement vision of many hardworking people strangely resembles an animalistic routine: spending time outdoors or with friends, enjoying sunshine and nature. As reflected upon by the Dalai Lama, ‘Man sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices his money to recuperate his health’. Thinking back about the past 20 years of my life, the second part of the Dalai Lama’s contemplation is even more accurate: ‘He is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived’. So driven was I by the craving for something or another, that I omitted to savour the beauty of now. How lucky I am that my recent plans have not generated the expected results. The past twelve months taught me that life is a house of cards; neatly stacked at this moment, and ready to collapse in the next when a single card is pulled out. A collapsing house of cards may turn out to be the greatest of gifts; a grace that one would have never dared to ask for. Had I been confronted with the perspective of my present situation a year ago I would have been frozen with worry; clinging for dear life to the status quo, afraid to lose what I had and treasured. As this book goes into print COVID-19 engulfs the World. Declared a Pandemic on March 11th, 2020, the unfolding crisis is a reminder that everything can change always, from one moment to the next. It also illustrates the dramatic consequences that ensue when societies do not invest systematically to cover the basic social needs of everyone. 2020 shows what happens when the interests of a few dominate over the needs of many; while the majority shy away from thinking, and doing something, about the consequences. The outcome of COVID-19 depends on the ability and willingness of individuals and institutions to widen their perspective radically. Hopefully, the paradigm shift that is presented in this book contributes to this change in dynamics.

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CHANGE FROM THE INSIDE OUT

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Work to Live or Live to Work

We grow up with the understanding that ‘work’ is how we contribute to society. Thinking within this mental logic, our jobs define us. What we do daily not only shapes our habits and skills, our relationships and assets, it gradually makes us who we are, at least at the surface. Consequently, our jobs become central in determining the perception that we have of our own worth. The What becomes the Who. In addition, and although there are very diverse working relations and constellations today, with freelancing ever-growing thanks to technology, traditionally, work placed the worker in a position within a structure. The average employee did spend more time at the workplace than at home; more time with co-workers than with family and friends. Unemployment is unsettling because, beyond the material implications, it is uprooting not merely cherished habits but the social bounds and beliefs underneath; not just eliminating a set of activities but the personal eco-environment that they have been operated in. However, despite and because of this deep personal attachment to our day-to-day work, a paradoxical mechanism is at play. The What takes over the Why and the How. We focus on the tasks on our immediate radar, losing sight of the bigger picture. On the other hand, though, having narrowed down our perspective so much we lose sight of the actual impact of these multiple micro-tasks and their interaction. Rather than sharpening our focus on a very circumscribed field in order to give our very best in this particular field, we rush from one task to the next, just as a hamster keeps running in its wheel, step after step after step. There is always one more task, deadline, or paper to tackle; absorbing our time and energy. Our mental space is saturated before we even start to think what matters for ourselves. Martin Luther King said ‘Whatever your life’s work is, do it so well that the living and the dead and the unborn, could do no better’. If we followed his words, there would never be the need to worry what we should have done differently. Similarly, a central principle of Karma yoga is to give one’s best, and then let go1 ; the results of whatever has been done are not in the hands of the one who acted (Raju 1954). However, that the output of our doing is no longer the centre does not remove the responsibility to give one’s best. Giving what we have and can do, in every single moment, dedicating our whole being, all our attention to the very situation that we are in, the person we interact with, the task at

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hand, means that we do the best we can at that moment. If you act in line with your values, putting all the possible effort, and the best knowledge that you have at the time of the action, why would you blame yourself if the outcome of your action is not the expected one? Shifting scope from future outcomes to present input does not remove responsibility, rather it puts the cursor on the right spot; where we can actually do something about it. Life is complex and what happens involves many interconnected factors. Focusing on the present, in the understanding that the result is not in our control takes away distraction. Not flagellating ourselves when things go wrong, nor praising our merits when they go well, liberates mental space that can be put to good use—like zooming in on the meaning of our occupation, the Why. The brain likes simplicity. Therefore, most conversations start with questions like ‘What do you do?’ ‘Where do you come from?’, etc. People in boxes are easier to grasp, assess, and categorize than free-floating electrons. Tasks are more tangible than the explorations of aspirations, emotions, or thoughts. Safe ground. Think about the last social event that you attended, which included new people whom you never met before. What do you remember from the small talk about weather and work? Imagine how much more interesting these conversations could have been if instead of asking for a person’s job, you would have asked about their passion; the Why that matters to them? Hiding behind the shell of our past achievements and present social status is a means of surfing on the social wave. Diving underneath requires a deep breath but discovering the fauna and flora deep down is more than worth it.2 Observing how opaque the border between self and shell has been for myself, I wonder how many of us consciously distinguish between what we do and who we are. Maybe this is one of the reasons why many of those who have a high-intensity career do not live very long after retirement (Kuhn et al 2010). As the occupational centre of their existence is removed, the rest crumbles, just as removing a load-bearing column in a cathedral is not conducive to the overall stability. As we move through life, the situations that we come across can show us that paralysis and breakthroughs are often close neighbours, located beside each other. Consciously looking for this strange juxtaposition allows us to identify the constellations at play, and to make our choice in full awareness of the options. Instead of navigating on autopilot, stepping through doors that seem to be the only ones, forgoing the fact that a whole corridor lined with many alternative doors lies just ahead. Fear

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and liberation belong to the same reality; located at opposing ends of the same spectrum of becoming ourselves. At which end of this spectrum we place ourselves as we move along is the result of circumstances and choice. ∗ ∗ ∗ From time to time it slowly sinks in how entirely different and liberating my new situation is. Since the day I was born, I have never lived without some type of affiliation. From a stable middle-class family, I went on to attend kindergarten, school, and university; always seeking to fit in. After graduation I went abroad, joining the ranks of the United Nations. The identity of these institutions, and the changing roles of being a daughter, a student, and a humanitarian worker were an integral part of how I perceived and presented myself. The removal of one single card brought the house of my apparent identity down, pushing me out of my secure comfort zone, across a rainbow of freedom. Travelling from one end of the spectrum to the other, I discovered a pair of wings that had been hidden. Folded, unknown, on my back, they were patiently waiting for their moment to unfold. As do yours. Every path is unique. Thus, no comparison is valid, and the only thing I shall seek to summarize here is my own glimpse of a rocky path, and how smooth it eventually became. Unremarked, the veil softly dissolved, leaving the view through a wide-open window. No flashes or stars, no groundbreaking eureka moment, just an onset of an inner calmness that still makes me smile; a smile that grows like a flower from the inside out. I always thought of insight as a moment, a unique slip in time when everything changes. But maybe there is an alternative. A slow transition whereby each conscious step joins the next, leading to a reality that leaves no ‘before’—everything having merged into the present. Unlike many of those who write about a sudden epiphany as they faced the wall; I never felt at the abyss where I wanted to end everything. For most of my life, I have been very lucky. Still, I felt constantly driven, always under the invisible pressure of accomplishment. Propelled by the need to leave a mark, to justify my presence, I was craving confirmation that I did actually deserve the privileges that I had been given. Never feeling that what I did was enough; it seemed that once it was accomplished anything that had seemed to matter before was no longer relevant, or even the result of my own effort. Ph.D. laudation, promotions, career moves, just water under the bridge.

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Looking back, I cannot single out any watershed moment, and yet nothing is the same now. Without noticing I have evolved into the understanding that I am everything I ever wanted to be. That I have everything I will ever need. A flower is growing in micro-millimetres which makes the observation of changes difficult, until one morning the petals unfold. When I released the craving to matter, to belong, and to control, I opened myself to experience the self that has always been there. Releasing my aspiration to ‘change the World’, I found the ability to change myself; releasing the craving to belong, I discovered that I was loved; releasing the need for security, I allowed myself to explore and enjoy the unknown; relinquishing the urge to control my physical circumstances, I felt that I was safe. This book offers an introduction to the paradigm that has helped me move from being fragmented, to a being at peace. My path to liberation began from the inside out and was nurtured from the outside in. Releasing the need to shape and control the outside has set me free to attempt the becoming of my own best self. The gradual access of an honest relationship with myself was uncomfortable and at times unbearable, until it became like gossamer, smooth and weightless. Doubts about the efficiency and effectiveness of the current setting of the humanitarian sector in general, and of the United Nations in particular, including my miniscule contribution to it, have been part of me for a while. Witnessing the impact of international assistance in the African, Asian, and Caribbean countries where I have worked forced me to contemplate the status quo. However, like many of us who work in the field of humanitarian action I was, for a long time, neither ready nor willing to think through the whole equation from A to Z, from doubt to evidence to action; as I was not prepared to face the necessary consequences. Too painful was the prospect of realizing that what I had aimed for was questionable. That my law studies, masters in humanitarian assistance and crisis law, Ph.D. on children’s rights, and nearly two decades working in the field had been geared towards a mirage. I had not done any harm but being honest with myself it was doubtful that much tangible benefit derived from my presence for those so-called ‘beneficiaries’ whom I had set out to serve.3 The more I saw, the more I knew my doubts to be justified, yet I did not have the courage to act in line with the ensuing conclusion. Why did it take me so long to transform those nagging feelings of doubt into action? Did the need for status and stability chain me to my comfort zone, or was it because I saw no alternative identity for myself?

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The challenge is that once we own up to our own reality, acknowledging what we truly are, and what we are not, there is no turning back. When everything crumbles there is nothing to turn to, nothing but ourselves. This perspective is frightening until we discover how reassuring the inner realm is. A haven that is always there, ready to receive us. My transition occurred in stages, gently ushering me along. Like the winter cold passes via the spring’s gradual increase of temperature before the summer heat sets in. I was offered an alternative that allowed me to progressively drop the skins that suited me no longer. I was not left naked in the cold. In October 2017, I was offered a tangible alternative to my humanitarian work persona. Getting me started in the transition from past to present. Being presented with a position to teach and research at the Centre of Humanitarian Leadership, a joint venture of Deakin University and Save the Children, located in Melbourne, Australia, opened a way to translate my contemplations into action. Seeing a path, I finally felt ready to leave the comfort zone that had been my assumed home for so long. I dared to jump from one ship because another ship had approached close enough for me to believe that the gap would not swallow and annihilate me. Even though the decision to leave a generously remunerated career at the United Nations for an academic career at half the pay, and to literally move to the other side of the world, appeared drastic to most of my friends and colleagues, it felt soft as compared to quitting my job cold cut. Everything is relative, and those who found me audacious didn’t see the alternative that had been lingering in my mind for so long. Transitioning from one bubble to the next is smooth, compared to leaving everything for nothing. At the time I still harboured the desire of a derived identity, a protective shield of institutional affiliation; in hindsight the planned move from UN to University appears as a mere exchange; giving up the status of the humanitarian worker in exchange for the status of a researcher. From one stable institutional identity to another one. But it was not meant to be. Plans are one thing, reality another. The University position was conditional on a working visa for Australia, which was not granted. A fact that was fortunately unknown to me when I quit my UN job. Looking back, I see the wisdom of this unexpected, and at the time highly undesirable, turn of events. Because at the time I did not have the courage to relinquish my status, income, and career prospects, in exchange for ‘nothing’. Though I had felt for a while that

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my daily work was no longer aligned with my long-term dreams and ideals, I did not feel strong enough to relinquish what I knew and cherished. Since I Ioved what I did, who I did it with, and who I did it for, there was never a powerful enough push factor to trigger me into action. The academic opening offered a pull factor that was sufficiently enticing to draw me out of my chosen slumber; shepherding me from awareness to understanding. As the myriad of unspoken excuses became redundant, my readiness evolved from understanding to action. But instead of yet another role in the service of yet another organization I was given freedom. As I eased out of my comfort zone its restraining walls dissolved; taking along the need of belonging to an external entity. Never have I felt happier than in this phase of settling within. For the first time in 43 years I find myself free from affiliation, free from attachment, free to be.

1.2

Four Entry Points to Connect

Based on my recent experiences, from institutional affiliation as a means of identity to detachment this subsection introduces concepts that are developed in Chapter 2. Illustrating the continuum of extremes, it shows the transition that can lead an individual to migrate from one side of the spectrum to the other. How we live in this world is shaped by our aspirations, our emotions, our thoughts, and our sensations. Imagine yourself like a Russian doll, a ‘Matryoshka’; a doll within a doll, within a doll. Each doll is part of the next bigger one. However, unlike the traditional, physical layers of a ‘Matryoshka’, the four dimensions of our being are not separate entities. They continuously interact and influence each other, engaged in an ongoing spiral dynamic, from the centre to the periphery and from the periphery inwards. This internal two-way interaction influences who and how we are, what we do, and how we interact with the outside world. Starting at the core of our being, the soul represents the essence of who we are. It embodies our aspiration, the desire to find meaning in everyday existence. Whatever we feel, think, and do is rooted in this need for meaning. The second dimension are our emotions. Schematically and metaphorically speaking, they are located in the heart, determining how we feel in a given situation. Emotions are fundamental in determining attitudes,

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decisions, and actions. No matter how much we ‘know’ about a certain issue, an emotional impulse will set the trigger that moves our attitude from information, to understanding, to desire for change, to physical manifestation—action.4 The third dimension of Who we are is the mind. Our thoughts are the result of an intricate mixture of genetic disposition, education, beliefs, memories, upbringing, and environment; they influence our emotions and aspirations, our physical experiences and expressions; and they are influenced by them in turn. The fourth dimension is the body, which is the outer membrane that connects and separates our internal and external realm. As an interface between the inside and the outside, it is the level on which we experience the world and express ourselves in it. Nothing happens in a vacuum. The body reflects our internal circumstances. Conversely, our experience of the environment impacts our internal circumstances, shaping our perspective of the world and hereby our reaction to it. Like a stone cast into the water, whatever happens at the centre radiates out. Whichever state our internal realm is in—our emotions and thoughts which are influenced by our aspirations, impacts our interaction with the outside (Fig. 1.1). ‘The first misconception is that it is possible to avoid influencing people’s choices’ (Thaler and Sunstein 2008). This inside out dynamic is a never-ending loop which, once we have understood it, is a valuable tool in three ways. Firstly, once we are aware how the different dimensions shape each other we can consciously influence this interplay in view of a desired outcome; secondly, knowing how we operate, we gain insights in the operating model of other people, which fosters not only our compassion for them but also our ability to systematically influence them. Finally, it is a dynamic that can help us grow. Because the world is a mirror. The disliking of certain behaviours in others signals traits that we despise or shun in ourselves. Looking at relationships this way, including the red buttons that trigger our anger, makes them a screen to learn from, using everyday experience as a classroom. Everything is connected.

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Fig. 1.1 Everything is connected, from the inside out and from the outside in. Our aspirations impact our emotions, which influence our thoughts and hereby our experiences and expressions (sensation). Conversely, the way in which we express ourselves causes certain experiences, which result in physical sensations that trigger thoughts and emotions, which fuel or alter our aspirations; and shape our memories. These memories influence our emotions and thoughts in future situations, and hereby our future expressions and experiences (Source Author)

The above paragraphs summarily describe the POZE paradigm which is further explained in the next chapter. POZE was instrumental in my journey and, hopefully, it will help You. Helping others without helping oneself is doomed to fail Physical and mental health, emotional and intellectual fulfilment, are part of the same equation. The way in which individuals experience and react to ‘stress’—commonly defined as a physical, mental, or emotional factor that causes physical or mental tension, which can be external (from

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the environment, psychological, or social situations) or internal (illness or from a medical procedure) (Keil 2004), illustrates this continuum of mind and matter. While already worrying in the general population, the experience and impact of stress looms even larger among those who live and work in countries where terror, death, and destruction are part of daily routines. It is unrealistic to expect that people can help others if they cannot help themselves. Since a central topic of this book deals with the causes and consequences that lead humanitarian organizations, NGOs as much as the UN, to deliver underneath their potential, let us dwell a moment on the implications of mental health among those individuals whose professional vocation it is to help others. It is a large field and the present pages are only a very brief introduction in an overdue discussion, that should systematically take place in headquarters and in field locations. A connected and equally under-addressed question is the urgent need of providing appropriate quality mental care for local populations in countries affected by humanitarian disaster. It will not be investigated here.5 COVID-19 illustrates the fragility of the health system, and the heavy emotional toll that disease, loss of loved ones or livelihoods, have on individuals. The mortgages that result from unaddressed mental health requirements fray the social fabric of recovering communities.6 Exposure to security threats and human tragedy is frequent for humanitarian professionals. According to psychologists the kind of events that aid workers are likely to witness classifies as traumatic events, which renders a proportion of them vulnerable to a chronic traumatic reaction. In 2015 a survey of humanitarian aid workers on the Global Development Professionals Network, showed that more than three-quarters of the participants had experienced mental health issues (Young 2015). Twothirds of the respondents who had experienced mental health issues found that this impacted their ability to do their job; and led them to consider leaving. However, the majority (84%) continued working with these untreated mental health issues. The phenomenon of ‘un-wellbeing’ among humanitarian workers has been known for years, without being addressed systematically by the concerned organizations. Rare are those which have put in place support systems for their staff. Psychological preparation before the deployment of frontline workers, assistance during and after assignments, remain punctual. The consequences are felt. Overwhelmed by the circumstances,

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individuals feel that their daily efforts, the way in which they do their professional tasks is insufficient, and as they move forward, they gradually perceive their work as being disconnected from the aspirations that brought them to this line of work in the first place. The realization of this disconnect then further deepens their emotional and physical corrosion. Research shows that humanitarian workers who have lost faith in their mission are the first to suffer from burnout and depression. Physical symptoms such as migraines and stomach cramps set in. Feelings of discouragement, emotional fatigue, and frustration appear. The ability to concentrate and reason diminishes, together with sociability. Many of those who have lost touch with their core values seek to compensate the resulting inner emptiness with coping tactics such as excessive sport, alcohol, drugs, etc. This affects not only their subjective well-being but also their objective actions. Performance declines, as do interpersonal skills. Feelings of anger or sadness find their expression in cynical, erratic, or aggressive behaviour, which further fuels the inner gloom. Personal life and work environment deteriorate. The opposite of the ‘winner effect’ which we will look further in Chapter 2 sets in. It is a downward spiral that begins inside and is cultivated from the outside. Conversely, those who cope the best with extreme stress are those who found meaning in their work and life. In 2016, the World Health Organization (WHO) announced an interactive database to track possible, probable, and confirmed attacks on health workers in real time.7 While it is useful to acknowledge the rising threat level that humanitarian workers face daily, and to appreciate the link between external stress factors and internal well-being in high-risk areas, the ability to grasp and track the extent of violence and risk does not equal a response to the needs of those who suffer from the collateral damage of these issues. Knowing what happens to field workers helps to understand the situation but it does not replace action to alleviate its consequences. Easily accessible practical psychological and socio-physiological assistance must follow. We have known for long what is needed and why; the question is to openly acknowledge this need and address it. The fact that humans can help others only if they are able to help themselves must be faced by all professions in the social field; including non-profit entities, the UN, and public service providers. One can give outside only what is available inside. ∗ ∗ ∗

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My experience in the field may serve to take this out of the abstract sphere of statistics. Though I have been lucky throughout my life, including the years spent on the frontlines, I know many who were not. In countries where violence is an omnipresent factor, the thinness of the line that separates life and death becomes apparent. In 2008, while working with UNICEF in Eastern Chad I was with colleagues on a field mission. Driving somewhere on the road between Abeche and the border to Darfur we noticed another UNICEF car on the side of the road, seemingly abandoned. As we learned later, a couple of hours before our passing an unidentified person had stopped the convoy; pulled out a staff member from Save the Children who was part of the same joint mission and shot him. Unharmed but traumatized the other passengers were taken to the next town by the second car of the convoy. Until today the exact circumstances remain unclear (Ngarmbassa 2008). Death is part of life, and living in countries afflicted by war made me aware of how much depends on timing—being at the right time at the right place, or not. In 2009, after a slightly delayed landing at the airport of Afghanistan’s capital Kabul, I was told to wait because the only road between the airport and the city was blocked. A road bomb had exploded shortly before, killing five Italian soldiers. Had my plane arrived earlier it could have been me. ∗ ∗ ∗ From individuals to institutions The ongoing interaction of soul, heart, mind, and body is a microillustration of the role that we as individuals play in our community, be it workplace, school, or family. It is well-known that the sum of individuals within a community or an institution, is more than the sum of its parts—however, in some cases, instead of synergy we encounter disfunction. In the positive scenario, the collective thrives due to the complementary nature of its constituents. But often personal interests, competition, and disengagement lead the group, and hereby each member, to stay beneath their individual and collective potential; a dynamic that begins with one member spirals out to affect the others. The causes and consequences of ‘group think’ have been welldocumented for the past five decades, which does not prevent groups of falling prey to the risk they are prone to (Janis 1982).8

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Although any large institution illustrates this, let us look at the UN as an example of this phenomenon and the related risks, which have far-reaching consequences on interpersonal, inter-departmental and interagency cooperation. All three are required to achieve lasting outcomes on the ground. A longstanding question that almost everyone readily agrees upon when sitting at a conference table is the need for synergy. During the almost two decades of my work in country offices around the world, I have repeatedly heard (and spoken) about the need for crosssectorial collaboration. Convergence, thematic and/or geographic synergy of resources and efforts, makes perfect sense in theory and practice, but the internal hurdles to make it happen de facto are gigantic. Nobody denies that a combination of resources gets the best out of everyone’s contribution, which is particularly relevant in times of limited funding, decreasing donor interest, and an increased requests for accountability. But when it comes to the elaboration of joint work plans and shared budget allocations, the spirit of collaboration often fades. Cooperation is already a thorny topic inside one organization, where experts seclude themselves in their respective sectorial pillars; it becomes nearly impossible to address when several UN agencies are asked to place their eggs in the same basket. The nexus of Humanitarian assistance, Peacebuilding, and Development aid is another question that has been hotly debated for many years but hampered by negative dynamics. Although few would dispute the complementary nature of these three components, translating the conceptual understanding from theory to practice is yet to be mainstreamed. Personal and institutional agendas and egos are not a good match. When the quest for visibility and funding are paramount, the programmatic substance is at risk of being relegated to the sidelines. Too often the ensuing collective dynamic nurtures the individual’s human propensity of looking out for their own interests first (Janis 1982). The combination of engrained structures, processes, mindsets, and human habits, together with the ever-fiercer competition for donor funding are hard to overcome. Shifting from a narrow, patchwork approach of aid to a holistic understanding of support requires a 360-degree vision of shortterm interventions, medium-term investments, and long-term cooperation with at its centre the aspiration of individuals as the core feature of collective resilience. This dimension that embraces aid workers and ‘beneficiaries’ alike is the key for reinjecting passion into the aid sector, and

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thereby harness the individual and collective power that it needs to transform society for good. To trigger, nurture, and expand sustainable social change people must want to be part of it (Fig. 1.2).

Fig. 1.2 Everything is connected, from the inside out and the outside in. The social conundrum created by COVID-19 illustrates the interplay between shortterm relief (humanitarian action), medium term assistance (development) and long-term building back. The 2020 crises shows that social transformation is not only missing, as a fourth pillar, of the Nexus equation, it is the umbrella that entails the others. Social peace is the counterpart of sustainable transformation; both require the empowerment of and support to individuals. While (longIf lasting) peace is the core aspiration (at the core), the humanitarian actiondevelopment assistance bridge needs to be crossed in order to arrive at sustainable social change and transformation. These elements influence each other mutually. Sustainable impact in either of these fields begins with a holistic perspective of individual well-being; and it is nurtured by the mutual complementarity of investments and progress in all dimensions (Source Author)

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The dynamic of agendas, routines, and human nature that prevails in many non-profit entities is a killing ground for ideas that do not fit the existing boxes and silos within institutions, which prevents the complementarity that can make the whole more than the sum of its parts. Even when a new domain arises with substantive proof of its need and added value, large organizations usually remain slow, if not immutable, to make the necessary shifts in a timely and substantive manner. Linking back to the question that we looked at earlier, mental health can serve as an example. It has been shown over and over for the past decades, that mental well-being impacts the physical frame, and that community resilience requires genuine personal empowerment. And yet, far and few are the aid organizations which have systematically included this thematic in their scope of programmatic action. Even institutions whose mandate invites this type of project remain reluctant to make substantive investments in research, programming, and advocacy in related fields. The mission of the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) is to help every child survive and thrive, whereas the United Nations Fund for Populations (UNFPA) seeks a world where every birth is wanted, and every woman and young person finds their rights valued. Within these institutions a holistic approach to human well-being would not only fit as an organic umbrella for bringing together traditional programmes like health, youth empowerment, child protection, education, and social protection; easing programmatic synergy along. It could even serve as a binding element for inter-agency planning and implementation. But so far it does not. Too engrained is the current modus operandi, too established are the existing programme and staffing structures. Change is always challenging, both for individuals and for organizations. It becomes even more trying when it not only involves the creation of something novel but the elimination or transformation of existing positions, possessions, and the privileges that are attached to them. One of the most dramatic illustrations of the consequences that lacking passion, and accountability can have in an organization that is meant to make the world a better place, is the abuse of women and children by peacekeepers in Haiti, the Central African Republic, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Liberia, Mozambique, and others. Beyond the media scoops that have covered this issue for over a decade, in 2019 two academic studies independently investigated the causes and consequences, and the extent of the issue; showing the interconnected complexity of the issue and the human side of both perpetrators and survivors.9

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Hardly any of these challenges faced by groups and institutions is rooted in bad intentions. Corruption, maliciousness, or narcissism may occur, yet they are not the norm. The largest damage derives not from dramatic events, but from the slow, subtle, uncovered erosion of individual attitudes. Most people who join an organization like the UN do so with the hope of contributing to make the world a better place. Looking at the almost 110,000 staff, including slightly more than 48,000 females (UN CEB 2019), unity in diversity appears. People join from all continents and countries; between 18 and 65 years all age groups are covered. This is a beautiful illustration of the universal desire, the aspiration of the human being to be part of an entity that exists to make the lives of everyone better. Certainly, some of these people join motivated by salary, diplomatic privileges, status, etc. In the beginning, these aspects are rarely the determining factors though. The orientation from non-material to material pull factors creeps in slowly, on tiptoes; the pension fund, health insurance, etc., evolve from being unexpected perks to a cherished given to an entitlement. ∗ ∗ ∗ I joined the UN in the early 2000s, finally fulfilling my dream to be part of this organization which I believed had the power and potential to bring about large-scale social change, due to its multilateral nature, resources, diversity, and mandate. Aged then in my twenties, I was determined to never become one of the stereotypical functionaries. I felt immune to the risk of greed, entitlement, and inertia. Brimming with ideas and fuelled with passion I began in Eastern Chad, working for three years with and for refugees and internally displaced persons affected by the conflict in Darfur. Subsequently, I moved on to Afghanistan, the Democratic Republic of Congo, and Haiti to finally end up in Headquarters. I loved what I did, the people I worked with and for, as well as the countries I was in. And maybe that love was the problem. Because I could have stayed and enjoyed thoroughly what I did, being reasonably good at my job. Not only was I well-paid and taken care of in terms of security, I was paid to do what I would have done for free. But there was this little voice at the back of my mind that kept popping up, inquiring about the actual added value of my presence. Did I serve those in need or my own needs?

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As my doubts about the efficiency and impact of our collective efforts were fed by real-time observations and research, I began to increasingly question myself. Though I did nothing wrong or harmful, was that enough? Though I had not joined for the material benefits, was I willing to relinquish them? Trying to pinpoint whether I was in the right place, I kept on concluding that there was no other organization in whose mandate I believed so wholeheartedly. Still, in moments of honesty I saw myself drifting away ever further from the passionate, daring agent of change I had set out to be. Stepping out of this mental conundrum took time, despite and because of the underpinning doubts and desires. In the process of deliberation that finally led me to take a sabbatical in 2019 I spoke with colleagues at all levels, from top management to administrative clerks, asking for thoughts and advice. It still strikes me that none of them recommended me to stay. Without exception colleagues expressed their envy, the desire to be able to do the same; all the while needing the money to pay their mortgage, the education of their children; to afford their overall lifestyle. For others, retirement was not too far away and they hung in to get the pension. Not one person raised the mandate, our collective mission, as a reason to stay.

1.3

Shifting the Angle

‘Changing the world’ sounds naive at best, and unrealistic if not presumptuous at worst. However, understanding that everything has consequences, small or large, changes the outlook dramatically. It makes transformation tangible and feasible. Entities shape and influence the cultural, socio-economic, political, and interpersonal environment that characterizes the space they exist in; be it a city, country, or region. Combined, the multiple micro- (individual), meso- (family, community), macro- (economy, culture) entities contribute to that what we experience at the metalevel (i.e. globally). Taking this perspective, whereby the individual is a minuscule, yet determining part of a universal dynamic, shifts the scope. Starting with the innermost entity, the aspiration of the individual, which drives and determines the micro-entity that each of us represents. If everything is part of everything else, then everything matters, and yet nothing is decisive in and of itself. ∗ ∗ ∗

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Looking at the world I had felt superfluous for the better part of my existence. Being young and idealistic I was overwhelmed before I even began; whatever I contemplated to attempt had already been done. Like every adolescent I grew up amid a mixture of personal and global events; from micro-level pain such as the ongoing tension between my parents, to macro-level drama like the atomic catastrophe in Chernobyl and the fall of the Berlin wall in the 1980s, the genocide in Rwanda in the 1990s, and the wars in Balkans in the early 2000s. As I evolved from disoriented youth to determined (though nonetheless disoriented) humanitarian worker, I came to experience human suffering on another level; witnessing a reality that I had learned about merely from books and on TV. However, living and working in countries affected by humanitarian crises for usually three to four years, exposed me not only to the consequences of human cruelty or nature’s power. It also offered me glimpses of something else in these places that often live under the shadow of a murky image. Being there for extended periods of time allowed me to shift every so often from being an outsider to becoming a friend. Like many before me, I discovered what develops underneath the ragged surface that does not jump into the eye of a passing visitor. The kindness, courage, and ingenuity that marks the young and the old, male and female alike. A reality that rarely enters the spotlight of media narratives. It matters not, whether it is Goma, the so-called capital of rape in Eastern Congo, the cradle of terrorism in Kabul or the centre of cholera in Portau-Prince, I found smiling mouths, warm eyes, helping hands, and stories that reflected an untamed spirit of survival everywhere. In Afghanistan I enjoyed time and tea in a traditional teahouse in Jalalabad, listening to the anecdotes of a seasoned Afghan colleague; hidden in a blue burqa I explored the local market in Herat, chatting with old women selling vegetables while tasting a delightful diversity of nuts and dried fruits. In Congo I shared the university benches with Congolese students, all of us trying to wrap our brains around Spanish for beginners. In Haiti I had countless cups of steaming coffee, sitting at the table of a Haitian neighbour discussing the ups and downs of Haitian society. There are so many more moments that occupy a cherished niche in my heart, changing forever the face of these countries from gloom to glory, at least for me. Still, amid these treasures of everyday life, there was also all-pervading evidence of injustice, whereby some are lucky in the lottery of life, while others are not. Being exposed to this reality, and the constant reminder that I was one of those lucky ones, was at the same time energizing

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and draining, pushing me to invest my entire self. Every day I saw girls and women who could have been me. Women who could have gone to university, gotten a well-paid job, and have not only material but social independence. These women had the brains and the strength to get everything. Yet in the moments when I passed them, walking in the streets or driving through their village in a car, shielded from their reality in an air-conditioned bubble of comfort, they were busy carrying water, nursing babies, cooking or cleaning, begging, or washing the windows of cars at the red light to earn a couple of coins. No matter how much is said or written about effort; the place and circumstances of our birth, determine 95% of the track on which our lives travel. The following description uses some very broad simplifications and assumptions but may serve to put our general sense of entitlement into perspective. On the one hand, Marie, a girl whom I passed every other morning in Port-au-Prince—she carrying a bucket of water on her head, me on my way to work; on the other hand my cousin’s daughter, Charlotte. The two girls have the same mental and physiological predisposition to become a doctor, a lawyer, or a writer. Yet Marie is likely to leave school (if she ever enters it) after a couple of years because her family cannot afford the school fees and she needs to work to contribute to the household income, or because she gets married and/or pregnant. Charlotte is likely to move smoothly from primary school to high school to university. Growing up as one of several children whose father earns in good times 5 dollars a day,10 Marie is lucky if she gets enough to eat every day, an important condition to ensure the development of her brain in line with its inherent potential. In low-income countries, children living in poor households are at high risk of dying from preventable causes, including diarrhoea, pneumonia, etc. Being 12, Marie has luckily passed that stage. Still, by the time when Charlotte enters the faculty of medicine Marie will possibly have given already birth to her third child; her everyday life being populated by carrying water, cooking, and child-rearing. Having started with the same physiological set-up, the course and length of their respective lives is very different for the two girls, no matter the effort they make along the way. However, suffering does not only come from material deprivation. Suppose a child grows up in a stable middle-class family but is beaten every day; whereas her peer has parents who may not be able to afford the latest gadgets or even struggle to bring two meals on the table every

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day but do everything they can to nurture, protect, and support her, cherishing her like the apple of their eye. Maybe either of the girls is diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, and though one of them has access to the best medical care, she would live through pain and suffering before she dies; for many in Marie’s situation it is likely that the illness would be never properly diagnosed, and if it was discovered in time, she and her family could not afford the necessary treatment; she would simply get thinner and paler every day until there is no more day. While painting this dark picture of inequality that is displayed around the world—and which, in different shapes and colours, is on display in every single country, I firmly believe that there is hope. Everything changes constantly and this omnipresent uncertainty represents an opportunity. Independently from our external circumstances there is one asset that no one can take away from us, the power that both Marie and Charlotte and every one of us holds. That is the power to choose how we react. Rooted in our aspiration for meaning it determines whether our external circumstances make us suffer or, despite all objective expectations, thrive. The ability to harness this power depends on the level of influence that we have on the four dimensions of our being. Working on the ground, my job was my life; there was no space for anything else. Though I gave everything, facing the scope and size of the problems at hand I was doomed to fail. While navigating the everyday reminder of my own insignificance I witnessed the extraordinary strength and creativity of individuals under dire conditions; and read about the compassion and generosity that people around the world showed every day. The fact that they practised what I hoped to accomplish, paralyzed me. Moving with the stream of my professional responsibility, the mere thought of not being good enough kept me from exploring what lay beyond it. On paper it seemed that my efforts went in the right direction. Once I had begun to work in the humanitarian sector my career moved steadily forward. Chained to my comfort zone I did what I had signed up for. Working for an international organization such as the UN is a pleasure and a privilege. And although I questioned myself constantly, helping children to survive and thrive, by promoting health, nutrition, clean water and hygiene, education, and protection services for those who need it the most is the most beautiful mission there is. A perfect mission, maybe. However, something was missing; and deep down I knew it. I invested my time and energy in the collective effort to improve the lives of children

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in this world. Yet while nothing was wrong; it was not right either. I saw, felt, and came to understand that the institution, the humanitarian community that I was part of, kept moving along a path of wilful blindness, headed towards chronic underperformance. A lot of progress has been achieved to the benefit of many millions of children over the past 75 years since the UN has been created. Furthermore, every year millions of people who are affected by violence, poverty, or natural disaster continue to receive assistance because of this institution and the ever-increasing number of non-profit organizations. Every life counts and every smile, every glimmer of rebuilt hope matters. But so much more could be done. Nourishing a system that is subliminally aware of its weaknesses yet avoids facing the double discomfort of honest introspection and substantial internal transformation equals cultivating a challenge rather than addressing it. I was insignificant but part of the status quo. Since I did not bring solutions to address the problem, I was part of the latter; one of many thousands of staff members who unconsciously nurture insufficiency under the umbrella of a beautiful mission, allowing the status quo to persist. Feeling unable to trigger changes in my environment; I eventually began to start changing myself. This is the part of the story where POZE begins, as we will discover in the next chapter. I have learned that small changes, internal or external, mental or material, can shift the scale. There is power in each of us, mostly untouched. ∗ ∗ ∗ Before we continue please take a moment. Once you have read this paragraph, please put the book aside for a moment. Find a quiet place where nobody will disturb you. Pause. Sit comfortably, with uncrossed legs and arms, relax. Feel your back against the back of the chair and your feet on the floor. Observe whatever surrounds you; using your senses—what do you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch? Just identify without analysing, without putting the stamp of like or dislike. When you feel you have a complete picture, a sensorial snapshot of your surroundings, close your eyes and take the same objective observer stance inside. Zoom in. Notice your thoughts, without holding on to any of them; merely observing them arise and pass away. Zoom in further, to your emotions. How do you feel, in this moment?

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Express whatever comes to your mind, in writing, by drawing, or sharing with others You may wish to remember this exercise to recentre when you feel the pressure or dullness of your usual occupation. The more often this exercise is repeated, the easier it becomes to find focus. Throughout this book different variations of it will be introduced. The one above is the prototype. Find a space in your agenda to repeat it regularly; a me-slot that is dedicated to yourself.

∗ ∗ ∗

1.4 Transitions, Letting Go of the Old to Find the New Anchored in the four dimensions of human existence are basic needs and desires that drive individual behaviour. While different, depending on a person’s past and present experience, parallels exist that are independent from culture, context, and upbringing. Adult existence is not about adding something but about removing add-ons, like pulling back a curtain to unveil what is behind. We must love who we are in order to become what we want to be. Life is a classroom. What enters our path is a lesson. We remain in the same grade, encountering variations of the same type of situation until we change how we address them. The Self is a combination of the past and the present. What we commonly refer to as ‘I’ is the current expression of our soul (aspiration), heart (emotion), mind (thought), and body (sensation), which is influenced by the imprints that were left behind by past expressions of these four dimensions. Wherever we went in the past influences where we are in the present and hereby where we will go in the future. Choosing to acknowledge and examine these influences is the first step towards a genuine presence. ∗ ∗ ∗ Pause a moment here please. Observe your life as it is, from an observer perspective. Now Zoom in. Do you feel held back in any

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aspect of your life? If so, what is holding you back? One dimension after the other, what are the ambitions, beliefs, cravings, needs that are keeping you where you no longer want to be, where you no longer belong? Make a list of your priorities. Zoom into yourself as far as you can and seek to Express why they matter so much. Express whatever passes through your mind; jotting down words or sentences, symbols, or pictures. When you reach a blockage, take a rest and either keep on reading or do something else entirely. You may return to this exercise and your notes anytime. As you have planted the question of identifying your grips, answers will gradually arise.

∗ ∗ ∗ To explain more concretely what I mean please allow me to take my own transition as an illustration. Everyone is unique yet looking at my journey may explain why it is helpful to use a four-dimensional prism to look at your life. Soul – Tackling the aspiration of social change begins by changing oneself. This is maybe why it is commonly assumed to be too great an effort to even try. When I finally saw these two goals (individual and social change) as a continuum, with one side influencing the other I realized what had underpinned my decisions from an early age. When I stopped to hide behind the screen of my profession, I had to face myself; including the many facets that I had always felt needed alteration. Changing others and changing ourselves are not interchangeable. While the second may influence the first, the opposite does not work. (Un-) fortunately the need to justify ourselves for Who and How we are (not) does not cease because of What we do. It stays and grows until we accept Who we are (not). Releasing attachment to the output of our efforts is an age-old principle of Karma yoga (Raju 1954). It activates the power to invest ourselves entirely—free from the inhibitions that derive from fear of failure. Releasing the constant need for external affirmation I found inside the freedom to accept. Softening the grip of the first dimension I rediscovered its actual shape. Heart – The same dynamic of candid introspection led me to examine the emotions that had been clustered like snowflakes around my heart. Realizing how desperately I had craved to belong somewhere, I found

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a home inside. The pursuit of external approval is endless due to the relentless string of new people that enter our lives. As long as we seek to please all of them we are dependent. Longing for autonomy on one side I cultivated my dependency on the other. I shoveled hard to dig a hole that I constantly tried to fill. Opening my eyes to this paradoxical connection enabled me to step out of it; gradually reducing the desire to be liked by others. Stopping to seek appreciation outside opened me to a love that had been present all along. A warm glow intensified as my heart emerged from three decades of deep freeze, melting slowly. Mind – Distilling what motivates our choices can be painful. The unpleasant step of introspection helped me understand how important status had been in my decision-making processes. Reviewing my past operating model I realized that I had seamlessly transitioned from one ‘status’ to the next, from one institutional affiliation to the other. As mentioned above, I had been a daughter, a student, an actor, a lawyer, and an international civil servant. Slipping smoothly from one role into another one l always managed to avoid the person behind the screen. Had my choices been linked to the images that are attached to professional labels, or to the scope and actual work of these occupations? Did I become an actor after graduation from high school to make others see and feel how the world was, and how it could be, or did I want to be seen and felt? Did I subsequently become a lawyer to promote justice amid social unfairness, or to be treated fairly myself? Did I finally become a humanitarian to help, or to be helpful? Overtime friends and colleagues pointed out my streak of independence, my anarchistic tendency. But while this streak may have been present all along, it paradoxically coexisted with my attachment to labels. Status and stability mattered; though I would have never admitted that. The unexpected implosion of my carefully charted career transition forced me to face my own thinking. Finally tracing the whole path, from motivation to decision, released the grip of the third dimension; candid introspection into my own mind enabled me to focus on what I was. Which equipped me with the humility to admit and accept what I was not. In combination with a compassion that resulted from the abovementioned emotional defreeze, this attitude brought me closer to myself, and others. Body – Finally, the fourth level of letting go involved my physical circumstances. From an early age, and increasingly once I entered adolescence, I sought control over my circumstances. Facing an atmosphere of

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lingering domestic unravelling I concentrated on the only domain that was my own, my body. My parents being tall, I decided to be tiny; in no way was I willing to go along with the trend of my genes. Mind was to win over matter (It remains open whether my stubborn determination is the reason or whether I was anyhow genetically programmed not to fit the family mould; I measure 1.63 m). My physical frame served as a platform, to get a grip on the many factors in my environment that were beyond my influence. As I grew older, additional tools to play the delusionary game of control arose. Income security was one of them. The accumulation of savings offered me the transient feel of independence. Once again, the paradox of complementary opposites unfolded. When I released the quest for external security, consciously deciding to quit a secured high profile, high salary position, I found emotional safety, which is independent from material, thus uncontrollable and invariably changing, parameters. For the first time in my professional life, I experienced a lasting feeling of safety. Responsibility and relationships are treasures; they bring a rich variety of opportunities to grow and find satisfaction. My successive choices were facilitated by independence. I had the relational luxury to step out of the hamster wheel of my current career track in view of an academic pathway. The fact that I was responsible only for myself made it easier to move out and on. I am in good health, single, have no children, and parents who can live on their own; having always been on the move I have no firm point of attachment. The choices that I had made along the way, which came with their own perks and downsides, smoothed the terrain for this latest wave of choices, the choice to go, and to let go. Having any of the aforementioned is no reason to step away from the life that you want though. Nothing can shield you from the existence that you are meant to experience. Let me be clear—I am not suggesting that you drop everything from one day to the other. My path may appear drastic (I am not good with compromises) but is it just one out of many. There are as many routes as there are people. Letting go does not necessarily entail relinquishing what you have and do, in particular not if you get out of bed in the morning full of joy and excitement for a new day. Stepping away from your material circumstances is a formality, an external manifestation of an internal change process that is well underway. When you are no longer mentally attached to whatever you have, do and are, the external constellation becomes secondary.

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The main challenge is not to let go of things, but of the emotional baggage that comes with them and what brought them into our life in the first place. The question is not to quit all your relationships and cut off all connections, but to shift from bondage to compassion, from need to space. Once you have managed to free yourself internally you are no longer dependent externally. The other way around, letting go of what you cherish to then release your inner attachment to those possessions is challenging at best and can be disastrous. One may end up like the prisoner at high sea, who throughs overboard the leadball that is chained to his foot. For some a radical cut from external ties may eliminate distraction and thereby make the transition to inner freedom easier. This is one of the fundamental reasons why monks and nuns take refuge in seclusion, without worldly possessions. But if you are the breadwinner of a family it may be hard to leave from one day to the next. Does this prevent you from a candid assessment of yourself, from identifying what you truly want? If you had to die one year from now—would the justifications that currently chain you to the status quo be valid? The Present is everything we ever have, and it is perfect before we even start to tamper with it. It is a gift that we are given unconditionally, with every breath. If and how we face it is our choice. This ‘Power of Now’ as Eckhardt Tolle called it, is ours while we are alive; nobody can take it away (Tolle 2004). Drifting down the river of life we have the choice to either grasp for rocks to cling to, hurting ourselves as movement and matter collide, or we can dive in, floating along with the waves. COVID-19 reminded us that everything is connected, individuals and society; physical and social factors of our wellbeing, or body and mind. It also illustrated that everything can change in an instant. No matter how much we have planned and plotted, pull out one single card and the house of cards collapses. Solidarity may seem at times like a burden that is not in our personal interest (although we will see in the next chapter that it is highly beneficial for our personal health and happiness to act in the interest of others). But when we accept who we are and what we were given, we not only enable ourselves to enjoy the status quo to the fullest. We gradually move closer to our own potential, which conditions our ability to share this biggest gift that we have to offer with others. We evolve as we live. Though above described mindset feels firmly acquired as I write these lines, I know that my fourfold release is not a permanent fixture. As my environment and situation keep on changing,

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I find myself at times gravitating once more to certain attachments from the past, binding myself temporarily to places, possessions, privileges, or people. Although I have tasted and still savour the delight of liberation, I am not kidding myself to believe that I am forever protected from my past cravings. Life is work in progres. The favorable factor is that having even once experienced genuine freedom it leaves an imprint. As our grips dissolve, the periods of faltering gradually become less frequent, less intense; until they are gone.

Notes 1. Karma means action, work, or deed; it also refers to the spiritual principle of cause and effect where intent and actions of an individual (cause) influence the future of that individual (effect). Western culture, influenced by Christianity, holds a notion similar to karma, as demonstrated in the phrase ‘what goes around comes around’. Karma Yoga (yoga of action) states that investing one’s best efforts for the good of others is the principal path of developing spirituality (Rastogi and Pati 2015). 2. How do you introduce yourself if you have no job? 3. The term ‘beneficiary’ will be used in this book as referring to individuals targeted by aid programmes. Even though it is a terminology that has made me cringe since I started working, because of the connotation of passivity, I have so far not found a widely recognized replacement term. 4. Large-scale information campaigns, such as national drives to stop smoking, which include graphic illustrations on every cigarette package, may ensure that those who smoke are (intellectually) aware of the physical consequences. However, until the targeted consumers feel why it is time for them to stop, and feel ready and able to do so, the impact of these campaigns usually remains punctual and short-lived (Bicchieri 2016). 5. Findings from disaster mental health have established that emotional distress is ubiquitous in affected populations—a finding echoed in populations affected by the COVID-19 Pandemic; which means in 2020 nearly everyone. Public health emergencies may affect the health, safety, and well-being of individuals (causing, insecurity, confusion, emotional isolation, and stigma) and communities (owing to economic loss, work and school closures, inadequate resources for medical response, and insufficient access to basic necessities). These effects may translate into a range of emotional reactions (from distress over depression to psychiatric conditions), unhealthy behaviors (i.e. excessive substance use), and noncompliance with public health directives (i.e. disregard of home confinement). As for health care providers themselves, the novel nature of SARS-CoV-2, inadequate testing, limited treatment options, insufficient equipment with

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protective gear for frontline workers and other medical supplies, massively extended workloads, and other emerging concerns are sources of stress and have the potential to overwhelm individuals and systems alike (Pfefferbaum and North 2020). Indirectly this challenge is addressed when humanitarian workers who are deployed to provide traditional social service projects perform in line with their best intentions and abilities. For more details on potential venues to shift the angle of ‘help’ for individuals affected by crises, in particular young people, please refer to the ‘Purpose for Power’ chapter in ‘Development, Humanitarian Aid and Social Welfare’ (Walther 2020). In 2012, World Health Assembly Resolution 65.20 was adopted, requesting WHO to provide leadership at the global level in collecting and reporting information on attacks on health care. The resulting ‘Attacks on Health Care initiative’ collects evidence through two main work streams: primary data collection in near real time through WHO country offices and partners on the ground using the Surveillance System for Attacks on Health Care (SSA), and secondary data monitoring at the global level, which is published quarterly. The secondary data complements the primary data collection in countries where primary data collection is not yet fully implemented. Groupthink refers to decision-making groups’ extreme concurrence seeking (conformity) that is hypothesized to result in highly defective judgements and outcomes. According to Irving Janis, the inventor of the groupthink concept, decision-making groups are most likely to experience groupthink when they operate under the following conditions: maintain high cohesion, insulate themselves from experts, perform limited search and appraisal of information, operate under directive leadership, and experience conditions of high stress with low self-esteem and little hope of finding a better solution to a pressing problem than that favoured by the leader or influential members (Pratkanis and Turner 2007). A study by Sabine Lee, University of Birmingham and Susan Bartels, Queen’s University, is the latest to document sexual misconduct by international peacekeeping forces (Lee and Bartels 2019). For example In Haiti girls as young as 11 were sexually abused and impregnated by peacekeepers, who were stationed in the country from 2004 to 2017 as part of The United Nations Stabilisation Mission in Haiti (UNSTAMIH) (French: Mission des Nations Unies pour la stabilisation en Haiti); the babies that often resulted from these encounters are known today as ‘little minusthas’ and both mothers and children face stigma and shame, on top of the preexisting abject poverty that led some of these women to sell their bodies in exchange for food or money. You may think this is high as it is above the commonly referred ‘a dollar a day’ (which was updated by the World Bank to PPP US$ 1.90 in

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2015). However, this measurement is not about actual dollars but Purchasing Power Parity (PPP) dollars so they cannot be directly compared to the numbers here. Moreover, as the ‘dollar a day’ measure was constructed for international comparisons, it is not a good measure of poverty at the national level. Broader and further criticisms of the ‘dollar a day’ measure can be found in Deaton (2010), Reddy and Minoiu (2007), and Vandemoortele (2002).

References Bicchieri, C. (2016). Norms in the Wild: How to Diagnose, Measure, and Change Social Norms. Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press. Deaton, A. (2010). Price Indexes, Inequality, and the Measurement of World Poverty. American Economic Review, American Economic Association, 100(1), 5–34. Janis, I. L. (1982). Groupthink: Psychological Studies of Policy Decisions and Fiascoes. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. Keil, R. M. K. (2004). Coping and Stress: A Conceptual Analysis. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 45(6), 659–665. Kuhn, A., Wuellrich, J.-P., & Zweimueller, J. (2010, August). Fatal Attraction? Access to Early Retirement and Mortality (Working Paper No. 499). Institute for Empirical Research in Economics, University of Zurich. Lee, S., & Bartels, S. (2019, December). They Put a Few Coins in Your Hand to Put a Baby in You. 265 Stories of Haitian Children Abandoned by UN Fathers. The Conversation. https://theconversation.com/they-put-a-fewcoins-in-your-hands-to-drop-a-baby-in-you-265-stories-of-haitian-childrenabandoned-by-un-fathers-114854. Ngarmbassa, M. (2008, March). Aid Worker’s Death Shows Limits of EU Chad Force. Reuters. https://www.reuters.com/article/us-chad-eu-humanitarian/ aid-workers-death-shows-limits-of-eu-chad-force-idUSL0284001120080502. Pfefferbaum, B., & North, C. S. (2020). Mental Health and the Covid-19 Pandemic. New England Journal of Medicine. Pratkanis, A., & Turner, M. (2007). Groupthink. In R. Baumeister & K. Vohs (Eds.), Encyclopaedia of Social Psychology (Vol. 1, pp. 402–404). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Raju, P. T. (1954, October). The Concept of the Spiritual in Indian Thought. Philosophy East and West, 4(3), 210. Rastogi, A., & Pati, S. P. (2015). Towards a Conceptualization of Karma Yoga. Journal of Human Values, 21(1), 51–63. Reddy, S. G., & Minoiu, C. (2007). Has Poverty Really Fallen? Review of Income and Wealth, International Association for Research in Income and Wealth, 53(3), 484–502.

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Thaler, R., & Sunstein, C. (2008). Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness. New Haven: Yale University Press. Tolle, E. (2004). The Power of Now. Vancouver: Namaste Publishing. UN CEB Statistics 12/31/2019. Vandemoortele, J. (2002). Are We Really Reducing Global Poverty? In P. Townsend & D. Gordon (Eds.), World Poverty: New Policies to Defeat an Old Enemy. Bristol: The Policy Press. Walther, C. (2020). Development, Humanitarian Aid and Social Welfare: Social Change from the Inside Out. London: Palgrave Macmillan. World Health Organisation Bulletin. (2016). Documenting Attacks on Health Workers and Facilities in Armed Conflicts. https://www.who.int/bulletin/ volumes/95/1/15-168328/en/. Young, H. (2015). Guardian (Nov 2015) Research Suggests Mental Health Crisis Among Aid Workers. https://www.theguardian.com/global-developmentprofessionals-network/2015/nov/23/guardian-research-suggests-mentalhealth-crisis-among-aid-workers.

CHAPTER 2

Paths of Change

Abstract This chapter presents the logic and philosophy of an approach that has been introduced in Development, Humanitarian Aid and Social Welfare: Social Change from the Inside Out. It explains how the paradigm shift that this approach is based on can help understand (and improve, if needed) our own behaviour, understand and influence the behaviour of others, and through the combination of both promote (positive) social change from the bottom up and top down. A connection is established between individuals inner alignment and their experience of and expression in the World. The interplay of four dimensions (soul, heart, mind, body) influences who we are and what we do. In each of them linkages between several factors of our being are at play: Soul (Aspiration): the link between purpose, passion, positioning and personal power; Heart (Emotion): the link between compassion, connection, creativity and the ability to change oneself and others; Mind (Thought): the interplay of honesty, honor, focus and humility; and Body (Sensation): the link of influence over oneself leads to insight, inspiration, and lasting impact outside. This last component shows how the harmonization of our internal dimensions affects our interaction with others. Authenticity requires inner alignment; it is the key asset of any individual involved in leadership, in particular for those committed to social change processes. Keywords Aspiration · Emotion · Mind · Mindfulness · Body · Power

© The Author(s) 2020 C. C. Walther, Humanitarian Work, Social Change, and Human Behavior, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-45878-2_2

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Introduction POZE offers an alternative perspective to look at and live life, a Weltanschauung. Not linked to any religion it offers a science-based paradigm with practical tools. It is both for those who are willing to change their circumstances by changing themselves, and for those who are already happy yet open to learn and understand themselves, and those around them better. If you feel that your inner light is dimmed, then POZE may be for you. If you know, deep down, that you live underneath your potential, then the following pages may help you to emerge. If you are doing great, but you know you can accomplish more, please keep on reading. If looking at the world makes you want to do something, and you do not know what to do, or if you do know but remain paralyzed by the feeling of being an insignificant piece in a gigantic machine, then POZE may offer you entry points to move, from passive to active, from passenger to driver. No life is without struggle and pain, beauty and joy; no matter which phase you are currently in, the next pages may offer you a way of living to make the best out of it, for yourself and others. What you will read here is a story and a toolbox; none of it is dogmatic. It is your choice to take, adapt and use whatever works for you. I have long resisted writing this book because words are placeholders that can easily be mistaken for the message underneath. Please keep my language limitations in mind as you read on. Do not hold onto the words. Once you have chosen a path, the crossroad is obsolete. POZE has a triple meaning. Before we dive in, please allow me to give you a short explanation. The word poze itself translates as ‘inner peace’ from Creole, the language that is spoken in Haiti, a country where I worked from 2014 to 2018, and where I initiated the POZE dynamic. Introducing the soul, heart, mind, body approach to social workers and adolescents I was surprised by the enthusiasm and joy it created. And thus, the gradual expansion of the network of likeminded individuals, which today reaches into the Americas, Africa, and Europe, began. The name was chosen by Haitian colleagues. When I introduced them to the underpinning paradigm shift, ‘being poze’ is the verbal association that came to their mind; ‘being at peace’. In collaboration with the local staff association in my office at the time we shaped an agenda that was light and low cost, to address the consistently low motivation level among staff and the negative

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office atmosphere that was bemoaned in every annual survey. Against all the naysaying, it worked. Much more could have been done in terms of regularity and intensity, and yet the staff survey that was conducted in the year subsequent to the introduction of the programme, showed a clearly distinguishable improvement, in terms of staff motivation, commitment, and interpersonal relationships. This experience as well as others in the context of non-profit organizations, together with further research, laid the foundation for the Compassion for Change (C4C) component that we will look closer at in Chapter 3. In terms of the second meaning, the four letters of POZE stand for the four dimensions of our being: soul, heart, mind, and body (which are depicted in the figure in the preface)—which find their expression through the aspiration for Purpose (soul); emotions which are symbolized here through Om (heart), a universally recognized word for emotional connection; thoughts and the ability to Zoom in (mind) on the aspects that matter; and sensations which are both cause and consequence of how we Experience (body) the world, and the ensuing Expressions. The mind is our biggest friend and worst enemy. Wherever human behaviour manifests itself in the world, it has begun as an aspiration, that was fuelled by emotions and thought out by the mind. How we experience ‘reality’ influences how we express ourselves inside it. How we express ourselves in the interaction with others—physically or verbally influences our experiences, and gradually shapes who we become. The outside is a combined reflection of the four dimensions of our existence. These four dimensions and their constant interplay shape who we are, how we perceive our surroundings, and influences what we do in any given situation. Similarly, how others perceive us, reflects the four dimensions of their being, which makes them who they are. This double ‘who’ filter marks every interpersonal encounter. Finally, POZE stands for the exercise introduced in the previous chapter, which you might like to integrate into your daily routine to find inner calm (Fig. 2.1).

2.1 A Continuum of Change---Inside Out, Outside In Everything changes, always and constantly. Because of the interplay between multiple large and small, direct and indirect variables that influence reality as we experience it; including the factors that influence our perception of

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Fig. 2.1 Pause, stepping back from doing to being. Pausing whatever you do, to just be in the moment. Observe, taking in your surroundings as they are; using your senses to see, hear, touch, taste, and smell what is going on around you; without analysing or judging. Zoom in, focussing on the essential. Noticing your thoughts arise and pass away. Perceiving your feelings in this moment; identifying them as they arise and pass away, without analysing or judging. Experience and Expression, being present with all senses awake. Putting into words what you feel in that moment (Source Author)

this reality. Following a description of aspirations , emotions , thoughts, and sensations, as the underpinnings of human purpose, perceptions, attitudes, and behaviour, we will look at the connections that link individuals to each other and the world, via experiences and expressions. The importance of alignment, coherence, across these dimensions is highlighted, as well as how the present approach can serve to analyse and shape how influence happens. Our actions, words, attitude, and emotions affect our immediate and wider environment. Being alive is synonymous to affecting the world.

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Even if we decide to retire to an isolated island, by this choice we influence whatever consequences derive from our absence. The impact of our action and inaction extends beyond our own micro-system, affecting the meso-system of our family and the organizations that we are part of; the macro-system of the political, cultural, and economic systems we evolve in, and the meta-system of the planet that we share. No matter where we are and what we do, nothing occurs in a vacuum. Life operates without guarantee. Amid this constant outcome uncertainty, there is a lifeline of certitude though. If we chose our action or inaction with the genuine intention of having a positive influence on the well-being of others, this behaviour will contribute to our own personal well-being (Irani 2018); we will look at this connection between personal interest and collective benefit (Fig. 2.2). The basic elements Everything is connected. Nothing happens in a vacuum. The ongoing interplay of our aspirations, emotions, thoughts, and sensations, which are the expression of our soul, heart, mind, and body determines how we experience our environment. Understanding how we function is necessary to systematically influence this ‘how’. Being aware of the interplay between mind and matter, inside and outside is the first step towards a shift from being the result of semi-automatic processes, to being the author of one’s attitude and action. Furthermore, understanding our own operating model gives us a reference point to understand other people, because they have the same human set-up. Once we have insight into the mechanisms and motivations that underpin our behaviour and theirs, we are in a better position to influence both. The following pages give a brief look in the four dimensions that define us, before going over some examples that illustrate their interplay. Soul: Purpose or (life) meaning is the underpinning driver of Passion. It unchains an individual’s power to build change. As stated by psychologist Viktor Frankl, who survived the horrors of human cruelty in a concentration camp, ‘Men can survive anything but the lack of meaning’ (Frankl 1959). Soul derives from the Latin word spiritus (soul, courage, breath), referring to the ‘animating or vital principle in man and animals’ (Jones and Buckley 1997). Identifying what we desire to be and do begins with

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Fig. 2.2 Everything is connected, from the inside out and the outside in. Individuals represent the micro-dimension of a multidimensional system. They form, shape, and experience the meso-level which results from the communities they are part of (voluntarily or biologically, directly or indirectly). The contours of economic, political, cultural systems form the macro-level. Micro-, meso- and macro-dimensions operate within a meta-system that is the interface between the tangible and the unknown. Within a seamless continuum one dimension is influenced by the others and influences it (Source Author)

awareness of who we are presently and how we operate. As seen above, the interplay between aspirations, emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations can be mapped, understood, and systematically influenced. Heart: Connection is based on compassion for us and for others. Compassion is an emotion. Although we like to believe that our decisions are rational and deliberate, science has by now largely proven that these feelings are a key determinant of our decision-making (Lerner et al.

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2015). Acknowledging and accepting the past (including our own) without judgement is the stepping stone to changing the future. This is what compassion is about. Transforming the status quo is possible only when we accept the ‘Now’ as the point of departure; the future can be influenced, not the past. Mind: Honest introspection enables us to focus on the added value that derives from our skills and assets. Honouring who we are means to acknowledge, accept, and reveal what was hidden. This is a conscious thinking effort which involves our intelligence. ‘Intelligence is not only the ability to reason; it is also the ability to find relevant material in memory and to deploy attention when needed’ (Kahneman 2011). Honesty leads to humility, which opens new space for the interaction with (and influencing of) others. Body: Lasting Influence results from purpose-oriented behaviour that is authentic; this requires the alignment of our values, goals, words, and behaviour. Action is performed and perceived by the body, which has a sophisticated radar system comprised of seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, and tasting. The resulting intake is neutral. But whatever the senses capture is filtered and treated by our conscious and subconscious self. The judgement that our internal authority delivers (like/dislike) is influenced by our mindset and emotional status at the time of the experience, and by memories that had been recorded in similar situations. Beyond this ‘input’ function, the body has an output function. As the one and only interface between our inner and outer realm, it is the ‘screen’ which displays our aspirations, emotions, and thoughts, sharing our internal reality, this cherished ‘Self ’, with others. Thus, anchored in one dimension and radiating from there towards the three other ones, four elements are at play when it comes to inspiration, which is a key ingredient of promoting social change: purpose, compassion, honesty, and influence. Influencing others by inspiring them, entails influence over one’s own emotions, thoughts and therefore behaviour. POZE optimizes the multitude of interplays, internally and outside. Instead of being a victim of the past, be it physical, mental, or emotional, the resulting focus allows us to systematically influence who we are and what we do, in line with our aspirations. Nobody is doomed to be a prisoner of genes, memories, emotional drifts, or cravings. Being human

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Fig. 2.3 The four dimensions of who we are, including their manifestations inside and outside, belong to the same micro-verse; constantly interacting they mutually influence each other (Source Author)

involves the ability to choose; even if it is only the choice of how we behave in a given situation (Fig. 2.3). 2.1.1

Aspiration (Soul): From Purpose to Passion, to Positioning, to Personal Power

Identifying what we care most about in life allows us to direct our energy through a path of passion. Once we know what we desire we find clear positions rather than adopting those of others. Anchored in purpose (soul),

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pursuing it with passion (heart), guided by an honest compass ( mind), we unleash the power of influence, because of an authentic presence ( body). Our existential Why influences who we are, how we think, and what we do. If it is lingering inside as unresolved question, it leads to unspecified emptiness. Like a tumour that metastasizes quietly under the radar, impacts the immune system, the bloods cells, the tissue it is embedded in, and ultimately the physical and mental well-being of its host (Spiegel 2012).1 The pursuit of Why is the soil in which personal aspiration flourishes. Embedded in personal values this aspiration influences our intentions and emotions, shaping our thinking and our behaviour. It equips us with a lodestar to navigate our journey, day by day and over time. Once grasped it allows us to systematically align our short- and medium-term intentions, which influences our experience of the outside, gradually reshaping the way in which we express ourselves, and therefore how we interact with others. We have the choice to either keep this natural need for meaning as a liability, or we can consciously dedicate time to find out what it is that we truly want from life. Once we have identified what matters most to us, we can start to adjust our present-day experiences in the pursuit of this goal. Leaving aside the practical output factor which affects everything from work to relationships, the emotional benefits are significant when we pursue what we care deeply about, investing our skills and abilities to the fullest extent. Studies have shown that individuals ascribe the occasions when they experienced ultimate feelings of happiness frequently to the moments when they were in the ‘flow’ of creation (Csikszentmihályi 1990).2 ∗ ∗ ∗ If today was your last day, looking back, what was the most important action you took? What would you do more, less or differently if you were given four additional years? When you reach the end of your existence, what would you like people to say about you? Write your thoughts down please. You may wish to build on them as the pages of the book go by.

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∗ ∗ ∗ If you kept on reading straight past the questions part above, skipping the exercise—Why? Do you feel that you currently dedicate your time, energy and resources to what you care most about? Is what you do an expression of who you are, and more importantly, of who You want to be? 2.1.2

Emotion (Heart): From Connection to Compassion, to Creativity, to Change That Is Relatable and Desired

We need compassion for ourselves to feel compassion for others (heart), this begins with connection to who, and why, we are (soul). Connection with others arises organically once we perceive their strengths and weaknesses as complementary to our own, rather than competitive. This perspective of complementary connection activates creativity ( mind), which is the catalyst of sustainable yet organic external change ( body). In the case of social change processes, the resulting attitude means that those who are targeted by our efforts are no longer addressed as passive onlookers but as active stakeholders in the transformation. Compassion is a win–win-win-win situation. It has advantages for the person who experiences and expresses it (win-1); for the person to whom it is expressed (win-2); it improves the atmosphere in which the act of compassion takes place (win-3); and it inspires others who witness the transaction of follow the example (win-4). Over the past decade research in neuroscience, psychology, behavioural health, and developmental science among others have shown that compassion is an evolved part of human nature; it is not only essential for good health but necessary for the survival of our species (Seppälä 2016).3 Though they are often used together compassion, empathy, and altruism are not synonymous.4 Empathy is the emotional experience of another person’s feelings. It is an automatic mirroring of another’s emotion, like breaking down in tears while watching a sad movie. Compassion is defined as the emotional response that arises when one perceives the suffering of another being, it involves an authentic desire to help alleviate that suffering; this desire may or not be acted upon. Finally, altruism is an action that benefits someone else without expecting a reward of any kind. It may or may not be accompanied by empathy or compassion ‘Love and compassion are the ultimate sources of human happiness, and the need for them lies at the very core of our being’ as stated by

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the Dalai Lama. The two concepts exist in symmetry, one nurturing the other. If one defined ‘love’ as a passionate feeling of desire, then compassion without love was possible. If, however, one defines love as genuine connection based on the understanding that the connected parts belong to the same universal energy, compassion without love is impossible. Where passionate love is marked by intensity, compassionate love, also called companionate love, is about intimacy, trust, commitment, and affection (Hatfield 1994). Much in the present book relates to the power of choice, and the quest for individual purpose, and although this may seem to be a contradiction in the context of caring and companionship, it is not. Lasting relationships are not marked by bondage but the appreciation of mutual space and respect. Since everything starts inside building a partnership with another person begins by establishing a partnership with oneself. If I cannot respect myself the way I am, and love myself for it, I am not able to offer this attitude to someone else. Identifying and pursuing the aspirations that are the core of who we are, is therefore not an impediment but a condition of sustainable fulfilling companionship. We need space to grow. Partnerships that thrive over time have one common denominator, the mutual respect of the other person’s passion (Hatfield). Your partner may not fully understand what drives you, nor share the same motivation, but if s/he supports your path, the outcome will be positive. Contrary to those who see humans as wolves to one another, research shows that people instinctively seek to relieve the suffering of others; a predisposition that has only been tamed and subdued due to subsequent social influences.5 Contrary to the racist connotations that are often associated with the terminology of the ‘survival of the fittest’, Darwin actually pointed out early on that ‘communities which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members would flourish best and rear the greatest number of off-spring’ (Darwin 1872). It is an adaptively evolved trait that makes us more attractive to potential mates.6 The instinct to relieve the suffering of peers is shared by humans and animals (Ben-Ami Bartal et al. 2011). Still, most mathematical models show that natural selection left to itself is not necessarily favouring cooperation. In the short run non-cooperators always do better than cooperators and wipe them out. To compensate this, five hardwired mechanisms make sure we that nevertheless get more benefit from cooperating than from being selfish (Nowak 2011): Direct reciprocity which is based on repeated encounters between the

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same two individuals (I help you and you help me). Indirect reciprocity based on reputation (I help you and somebody else helps me). Spatial selection, whereby clusters of cooperators prevail (Neighbours help each other). Group selection, which occurs if there is competition between groups (Members of one group help another group). Kin selection, or interactions between genetically close relatives, based on the existing degrees of separation (Siblings help each other, more often than cousins for example). Beyond survival of the species, compassion has direct benefits for the individual who performs the action. This connection between giving and receiving, between investing in the happiness of others as an investment with multiple benefits to ourselves, may sound suspect and airy-fairy to many who hear it for the first time. However, scientific evidence supports this claim conclusively. For instance, connecting with others in a meaningful way improves an individual’s physical and mental well-being; while also leading to quickened recovery from disease; it may even lengthen our lifespan (Konrath et al. 2012). Besides physical and mental advantages, experiencing and expressing compassion is pleasurable. Brain imaging shows that giving and helping others activates the mesolimbic system which is responsible for feelings of reward. Helping others stimulates the same brain areas that are activated by sex and food (Kauffman 2016). In this process the brain also releases so-called feel-good chemicals, spurring us to perform more acts of kindness; something psychologists call ‘helper’s high’ (Van der Linden 2011). Studies across many countries have shown that giving to others increases our own well-being more than when we spend money on ourselves (Aknin et al. 2018).7 And one can reap these benefits even if the act of kindness is initially not triggered by genuine compassion. At the beginning the desire to do something that has no immediate benefit for oneself can be lukewarm, or non-existent; and still yield positive results for all parties involved (Keltner 2008). Not only will it serve the purpose, it becomes easier over time. Any action that is pursued on a regular basis results eventually in the creation of new neural pathways in the brain, no matter the underlying intention (Doidge 2007). Pursuing a practice of doing good, gradually feels more and more natural, even pleasurable as time goes by. The first step is the hardest. Compassion for our own journey, including understanding and forgiveness for the moments that we are not proud of, is necessary to turn the page. We cannot change our past. But whatever we do today will

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either change the direction of the journey ahead or lead to more of the same. If we are glued with shame or resentment to the past, we are not free to move on. Eyes that cry over the past do not look ahead. Practising compassion for ourselves is thus both cause and consequence of the connection between our aspirations, emotions, thoughts, and sensations. Compassion nurtures connection because it releases the blockages of anger, taboo and deformed self-perception; which hindered the expression of our desires, and the free flow of our thinking. If we feel undeserving, we sub-consciously put barriers between ourselves and what we desire most. Compassion is necessary to acknowledge, accept and relinquish old luggage which no longer serves us. Removing the layers of anger, sadness, guilt and shame is needed to actually see and synchronize the four dimensions of our being for what they are. Conversely, once we accept who we are underneath the covers with compassion connection among the four dimensions arises organically; because what we want, feel, think and do is no longer mutually contradictory. A smooth internal interplay enables us to focus on the present that surrounds us. Releasing judgement of the past is the intermediate step towards prioritizing what matters for the future. Once internal connection is established, connection with others follows naturally. Rather than perceiving life as a win or lose equation, where we stand in competition with others, a perspective of complementarity emerges. What seemed to be an ‘either/or calculation’, may turn out to be an ‘and’. Our individual experience serves as a basic reference point to assess our own behaviour and the actions of others. As already stated over 4000 years ago by various spiritual thinkers, the Golden Rule, or ethical code of reciprocity; whereby ‘one should do to others, what one desires for oneself’, has found an entry in all major belief systems, from Christianity to Native American religions, from Buddhism to Islam (Flew 1979). As universal as the presence of the Golden Rule is the ease with which it is discarded. Among the many moral codes that societies endorse, it appears to be one of the rules that is the most at risk of being neglected. Possibly due to the discomfort that derives from the risk of cognitive dissonance that the related introspection involves.8 In the context of the present paradigm, compassion matters beyond advantages at the physical and mental level which impact our subjective well-being. Because it is the foundation of genuine connection; and only social change efforts that are built on genuine intra-human connection are sustainable. Compassion for others, without judgement of their past

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or present is needed if we want to interact with them as equals. When we feel pitied, victimized, chastised, or treated in a condescending manner our mental and emotional doors shut down; no matter which sophisticated rational argumentation is involved. Whatever communication occurs in a context of judgement remains at a superficial level, without access to the dimensions that must be activated for a lasting transformation of minds, moods, and movements. (Note that such communication includes the internal dialogue that we entertain most of our waking hours with ourselves. Is your inner voice kind?) In particular, for individuals whose work involves sensitive interpersonal relationships, like social workers, doctors, teachers, nurses, etc., it is useful to be aware of this dynamic. Action that is taken from a position of superiority and judgement rather than equality and acceptance is at best experienced as a service that is taken for lack of alternatives; but more likely it will be rejected. If the planning and implementation of aid is pursued from an ‘outsider perspective’ without connection to the so-called beneficiaries; in a top-down logic, then the result will be perceived as undesirable, no matter what the material transactions entail. Examples abound where the two-folded lack of genuine connection, internally and with others, has led to inappropriate aid programming and lacking local adherence (Easterly 2014)—a topic that is taken up in Chapter 3. This causes waste of resources while contributing to the bad image of humanitarian and development assistance. Furthermore, it prevents those who came to serve in a space of shared humanity, from the opportunity of recharging their batteries, from feeling inspired anew every day. Connecting with people, especially those who need help and still succeed in helping others, offers hope (Santi 2017). Experiencing the entire range of resilience and goodness that a human being is capable of, is the source that will keep humanitarian work alive. ∗ ∗ ∗ Speaking from recent experience, acknowledging who I am, and who I am not—and never will be or wish to be, was a strange shift. Instead of putting myself subconsciously into the cast of the personality that I had thought I ‘should’ be, a neutral acknowledgement that was devoid of must do’s, unchained an energy that had until then been tied up. This bonus energy enabled me to leap forward, and merge with the ‘I’ that had been waiting all along; loyally holding guard over of my aspiration. This overturn of perspective made me also realize that I am not alone

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in this quest. The need for meaning, as much as the desire to love, be loved and listened to, is universal; it derives from being human. Looking at my own experience through the four-folded prism of being, made me not only see but feel compassion. 2.1.3

Thought (Mind): From Honesty to Honour, to Focus, to Humility

We need honesty towards ourselves in our thought processes ( mind) in order to dare face others with honesty. Once we acknowledge, and accept who we are, and accept it without judgement ( emotion) we widen our perspective. The subsequent shift from accepting to appreciating who we are, with humility not pride, makes it possible to choose a course of action body) that honours not only our own needs and unique skill set (soul), but simultaneously the needs and complementary skills of others. Life is a constant flow of challenges that are opportunities in disguise. Failed focus equals irrelevance. In the attempt of trying to be all things to all people we finish up becoming less to everyone. Honest introspection implies an assessment of our own abilities. Looking at our strengths and weaknesses, without the filter of wishful thinking, enables us to choose where our energy achieves the best results, with a view of advancing towards the fulfilment of our aspirations. As it was mentioned above, every individual has a set of resources, material and immaterial. These derive from a combination of genes, family context, upbringing, education, and present life situation. As the years go by this unique combination of assets evolves; a development which impacts on how individuals experience their environment, and how they express themselves in it. Making the best of the present involves awareness of the ongoing interplay that shapes us, and simultaneously determines society around us. Alertness to the dynamics at play at the micro-, meso-, and macro-levels, and their interconnectedness in the meta-sphere, is helpful to gradually move from being influenced to influencing. Combined, cognizance of the present and compassion with the past, dissolve chosen blindness regarding the future. Because the need for illusion is replaced with an appetite for insights. And only if we see what we are, without blindfolds, can we honour it. Some of the most renowned personalities have become who they are known for today after the experience of failure. Oprah Winfrey was demoted from her job as an anchor because she was seen as unfit for TV;

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Disney was fired for lack of imagination; Albert Einstein was expelled from school by teachers that described him as mentally slow. And the list goes on. Others may be blind to our strengths; or overlook areas in which we personally feel the need for change. The only person who is privy to your innermost abilities is you. Not taking the side of your inner ally entails to forego the only support-system that will never fail. No matter how harsh the circumstances and the external judgement that we face are, something in us is privy to every aspect of our being and accepts us unconditionally. This is the yardstick for the approach to introspection that we must develop. Training our ability for candid non-judgemental insight is an investment that pays off. Being willing and able to see what we are, and what we are not, means we can concentrate on the areas in need of transformation, with a pragmatic and energetic mindset. Honouring our unique self is best served by combining what we are good at, what we love and what the world needs. The Japanese concept of Ikigai follows a similar logic. Although there is no precise English translation it can be approximated to ‘that which makes life worth living’. Literally ‘Iki’ means ‘life’, whereas ‘gai’ means ‘value’ or ‘worth’. Originally from the Japanese island Okinawa—whose inhabitants have a longstanding record of longevity (Verywell Health 2020),9 Ikigai has been summarized by Western authors in four questions: What do you love? What are you good at? What does the world need from you? And if you are not retired or a child, what can you get paid for? (Perry 2018). Honest introspection, paired with compassion for our journey, nurtures humility. When this is paired with purpose-orientation it becomes the platform on which we grow into the person we aspire to be. This platform is the sweet spot where our future takes shape. It triggers the shift from being someone to becoming our own best self, which is our biggest asset if we seek to influence others. 2.1.4 Sensation (Body): From Influence Over Our Inner Dimensions to an Inspiring Presence, to Insight and Thereby Action with Impact Insights into our internal modus operandi allow us to shape it systematically ( mind), which results in growing coherence, internally and outside. When we inspire from the core of our being (soul) everything is possible, including lasting social transformation, impact . Such impact is served in

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two ways by purpose orientation. On the one hand the gradual alignment of our desires, words, and behaviour is grounding us in inner peace (soul) and emotional alignment (heart); authenticity ensues, or a presence that reassures and energizes others ( body). On the other hand, once our action and words are inspired by deeper meaning, we may inspire others to seek out and pursue meaning in their own existence. The body is our interface with the outside. From food to temperature, from pain to pleasure, the physical dimension of our being impacts who and how we are. In the context of the present book we will not dive deeper in the impact that physiological aspects such as nutrition, exercise, light exposure, etc., have on our mood and behaviour.10 For the present outlay let us focus on the causes and consequences of our interactions with others; our influence on them and theirs on us. Influence is the capacity to transform the character or behaviour of someone or something. We influence others directly and indirectly, by being active or passive, by what we say, do, and are, or by what we refrain from. It can be consciously sought after or result from sheer presence. Being aware of our words and behaviour, including the motivations, emotions, and thoughts that flow underneath, enables us to shift from instinctive (re)actions and the random impressions that the ensuing behaviour leaves on others, to systematically choosing how we express ourselves, and thereby what impressions we generate on others.

2.2

The Interplay of the Four Dimensions; Examples Related to Well-Being

Well-being 11 is the consequence of coherence between the four dimensions of our inner reality. Such coherence is possible only when our values, words, emotions , and actions are aligned. We cannot escape the influence of whatever dynamics prevail in the meso-, macro-, and meta-systems we are part of. But we can contribute towards shaping these dynamics ; starting with the micro-system that makes us who we are, and influences what we do, or not. ‘The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing’ (Einstein). A culture that condones egoism, bullying, and favouritism begins with the action of one individual, and it is perpetuated by others who mimic, accept, or overlook this type of behaviour. Our range of choices does not only include what we do but also what we do not do. Either way we have influence on others, small or big.

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The same logic of ongoing cause and effect, passive and active, extends to the impact that others have on us. We cannot completely step out of the cloud of influence that others have over us. But awareness to the interaction of the four dimensions that determine our own inner reality and therefore our own attitude and behaviour, represents a solid foundation to not only consciously shield our mind, body, and emotions from the influence of others but to actively influence theirs. A fulfilled existence results from the balance of meaning and enjoyment. It involves sensual, intellectual, emotional, and aspirational stimulation. While humankind tends to concentrate on survival and enjoyment, the aspiration for meaning that relates to positive relationships and service to others has been shown to be the most important aspect of subjective well-being (Mineo 2017). We crave coherence, which is conditioned by the alignment of our values and ambitions, words and action. This synchronization of Who we aspire to be and who we are presently, of What we value and what we actually, do is central to the experience of feeling ‘happy’. 2.2.1

Choosing Coherence

Consciously and subconsciously we avoid situations where our behaviour is out of synch with our believes and aspirations . When we behave in contrast to our values, we feel uneasy, though we may not always be able to explain the reason for such emotional discomfort. This inner uneasiness occurs even if we have a ‘reasonable’ justification for our action. When we walk past a mendicant without putting money into his outstretched hand it may appear justified to say that he would use the money for alcohol, that helping one beggar will not solve the issue of homelessness, that he should work like others do, etc. Even though this diversified set of arguments may seem rationally sound, it does not dissolve the subdued discomfort that will have arisen. The momentous unease will be forgotten quickly if it receives no further attention; as we advance through the rest of our life, we become more attuned to blending out situations that involve the risk of such emotional dissonance. Rather than watching documentaries and in-depth news coverages, we may revert to soap operas and channels that confirm our worldview. Instead of new experiences, we seek comfort in our familiar circle of opinions, things and people.

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Over the years we will invest significant time, energy, and creativity in the internal dialogue that justifies why we are doing or not doing, something that would have contributed to a harmonization of what we value and what we do. As we move through life the moments of avoided discomfort accumulate, like drops of water that gradually fill the cup. Their swelling effect is the subconscious feeling that we are not living up to be the person whom we aspired to be. It is a subtle itching throbbing, which eventually evolves into a dull ache. Acting and reacting in harmony with our personal values and aspirations is the only choice that we truly have and rarely make. Acknowledging the power of personal choice, which is independent from our socio-economic status, cultural and family context, our gender and education, marks the beginning of a mind-shift that can transform a person’s existence. This shift begins with the decision to step out of chosen blindness. The lottery ticket that we were given in the form of our genes and upbringing, our abilities and skills, comes with an opportunity to influence the World in a positive way. There is an association between privilege and potential, between opportunity and obligation, that we are subconsciously aware of. How we choose to allocate our (im-) material resources, affects which type of influence we have on others. And unless we pay attention to this link our unfulfilled potential may weigh us down. The only way to overcome the lingering feeling of missed opportunity is action. Pursuing the happiness of others is a win–win equation that is not nurtured as part of the standard education curriculum; nor is enshrined in the prevailing social norms of most societies. Translating our internal power potential into action for others addresses a neglected dimension of our well-being. Not seizing this opportunity which is inherent to our human nature does not yield punishment, since there was no obligation to begin with. Yet it leaves a void where fulfilment could have been; an emptiness that jeopardizes our well-being. A long-term study has shown that while happiness may mean to ‘feel good’ in the moment, the continued and intentional avoidance of negative thoughts and feelings stunts personal development over time (Kaufman 2016). Though painful in the short term the shift from assessing to acknowledging to addressing the situation contributes to greater resiliency and well-being in the longer term, for all the involved parties. The Ostrich syndrome, which many of us master to perfection, is not a sustainable path to happiness.

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Acknowledging discrepancy between our dreams and the status quo is the first step towards change for improvement. The immediate consequence of consciously recognizing that we are unfulfilled, be it at an aspirational, emotional, intellectual, or physical level is unpleasant. But to overcome the pain of an unlived life honest acknowledgement of the status quo is the only possible way forward. If we stay in a job or a relationship that we feel is no longer in line with our quest for personal fulfilment; we are not doing ourselves a favour. Nor are we helping those who are involved with us in that situation. Arguments can always be found to keep plodding on, be they income security, retirement perspectives, social status, or children that would be affected. But where is the line between justification and excuse? Delving below the surface of conventions and appearances, down to the quiet voice that reminds us that something is missing, can be heart-wrenching because it involves the core of our being, our identity—which shapes our intentions and hereby our action. 2.2.2

Igniting Intention

Intention without a concrete manifestation has no impact . Whereas enacting a new behaviour will eventually nurture a new behaviour pattern and deriving from it an altered mindset, even if it is initially performed without conviction. This so-called ‘outsight principle’ (Ibarra 2015) was already understood by Friedrich Nietzsche, who pointed out that often it is our action which precedes a change in our emotions and belief structures. ‘Thus, if one is striving to remake themselves, initially they will have to act in a somewhat fraudulent manner, or in other words they will have to do as the person they have not yet become but wish to be’ (see Anderson 2017). Neuroimaging has shown that after a person has performed an action once, subsequently even observing other people perform it, and even if they just think about engaging in the action, may nurture the initiated neural pathway (Doidge 2015). The crucial aspect is that the circuit begins with action by the individual himself. Our life is the culmination of our actions, day after day, year after year. Charging off to one destination and expecting to arrive at another is not promising. Knowing what we want, why we want it, and where we wish to be in the long term, leads to a change of perspective. Short-term desires and worries appear less important, if they are placed in the dimension

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of medium- and long-term impact. Instead of navigating blindly through the uncertainty of constant doubt, intentions that are rooted in purpose provide us a framework for systematic and thought-out choices. Amid the abundance of opportunities and demands that life offers daily, having an internal compass helps to focus, prioritize, and ultimately choose. Taking time out to identify what we really want our existence to be, and what kind of person we want to be, activates our internal compass. Initially, identifying our existential meaning may be cumbersome and uncomfortable because it questions what was done and achieved so far. We are prone to pursue a certain path even after it has become clear that the chosen direction is wrong (Schaub 1997).12 However, the more obvious and desirable we find the alternative to the status quo, the easier and pressing we feel the need to change. If you like your job, routine, and environment, the push factor may not be strong enough to get going; even if you feel a nagging emptiness somewhere deep down. Yet, envisioning the materialization of your purpose with the unfolding of your under-deployed talents may offer a pull factor to prompt you into action. Motivation, defined as the ‘energizing of behaviour in pursuit of a goal’, is a fundamental element of our interaction with the world and with each other (Simpson and Balsam 2016). If we acknowledge that everyone is on a journey, with a purpose to fulfil, and when we identify ours; then whatever we do becomes a choice. Knowing what we want unlocks the full range of our natural skill set. From having a passive perspective on our life, we shift to the driver’s seat. As children, we ask questions driven by the desire to understand not just What happens around us, but also Why things are the way they are. This quest for meaning is not favoured by the prevailing education system. We grow up to adopt the way of life that is the norm in our social environment. The desires of others become our own. If career, cash, and comfort are what everyone wants, then so do we. Our initial questions are immersed in an ever-expanding set of answers to questions that we have never asked. Constant exposure to the opinions of others, to opportunities and information eventually overrides the initial thirst for deeper understanding. The need to make sense of our existence keeps lingering on in our subconscious, however. Because it is the quintessential part of what makes us human. Animals share our ‘motivation’ to satisfy their basic needs of survival, including food, water, and procreation; yet (as far as we know) not our need for meaning.

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Choosing a path of purpose involves two phases: cognitive processing of past experiences, and a conscious projection into the future, based on our present identity (Wong 2015). Looking at the bigger picture of our present circumstances is not just about adding more white or less black, it involves adding colour. 2.2.3

Happiness and/or Meaning?

Research in positive psychology suggests that ‘happiness’ (Lyubomirsky 2008)13 and meaning are essential elements of well-being, and they are strongly related to each other; without being the same.14 They may feed and boost each other’s expansion and sustainability. But sometimes there can be substantial trade-offs between seeking happiness and seeking meaning in life; and it may not be possible to pursue both simultaneously. Pursuing enjoyment in the form of activities/things that make you feel good from the outside in, is likely to end with an output that fades quickly (think about going to the movies or acquiring a new technological gadget). Unfortunately the emotional benefit that can be drawn from money and the things that it allows to purchase accumulates only up to a certain ceiling. Above this threshold an increase in someone’s monetary means does not result in an increase of their overall well-being (Kahneman and Deaton 2010). The threshold depends on what is considered in a given location as the minimum standard of comfortable living. What is worse however is that the time and resources that are allocated to making money and getting stuff is subtracted from the time and energy that you would have otherwise available for something that matters in the long run, be it writing, painting, spending time with your family, aiding in a shelter, or another activity that makes you feel good from the inside. The widest and most all-embracing use of ‘happiness’ is the Greek concept of eudemonia, which may be translated as ‘flourishing’ because of the complete unfolding of one’s abilities, while satisfying one’s emotions and senses. Happiness is largely oriented to the present, whereas meaningfulness involves integrating past, present, and future (Baumeister et al. 2012).15 Happiness is linked to being a taker rather than a giver (Kaufman 2016). On the other hand, meaningfulness, the investment of one’s time, energy, and assets at the benefit of something that is outside of our immediate personal interests is associated with being a giver rather than a taker.

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Paradoxically, in the pursuit of happiness, we mostly concentrate on our immediate requirements, which are related to the bottom of Maslow’s initial pyramid—the material means (Maslow 1943).16 Satisfying the latter occupies a central place in the allocation of most people’s time and attention, yet it plays a marginal role in our overall perception of happiness, and hardly any in the self-assessment of meaning (World Happiness Report 2019). As life moves on, we are thus at the acute risk of running out of time and steam, for the other aspects of eudemonia; relationships and self-transcendence—meaning. Research around the world shows that sustainable and expanding satisfaction with our lives derives primarily from our relationships and our place in community (Russel and Barret 1999).17 These are both cause and consequence of the meaning that we give to our existence. The emotional benefit that can be drawn from money and the things that it allows to purchase accumulates only up to a certain ceiling. Above this threshold, which is not universal but depends on what is considered in a given location as the minimum standard of comfortable living, an increase in someone’s monetary means does not result in an increase of their overall well-being (Stanford Encyclopaedia of Philosophy 2018).18 Meaning matters for heart, mind and body, resulting in longevity and end-of-life satisfaction. Surveys show that concentrating on one’s personal needs and wants increased satisfaction in the short term but was largely irrelevant to meaningfulness and social connection; whereas these two were directly linked to sustainable health and contentment The ‘Harvard Study of Adult Development’ highlights that the role of genetics and long-lived ancestors is less important to longevity than the level of satisfaction with relationships in mid-life.19 It found a strong correlation between the flourishing lives of some participants, and their relationships with family, friends, and community. Those who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80. Overall six factors predicted healthy ageing among the assessed subjects: physical activity, absence of alcohol abuse, and of smoking, having mature mechanisms to cope with life’s ups and downs, a healthy weight and a stable marriage (Vaillant 2002). The more factors the subjects had in place, the better were their odds for longer, happier lives. In addition, among inner-city men, it showed that the more education they had the more likely they were to stop smoking, eat sensibly, and use alcohol in moderation. The research also demystified the idea that people’s personalities cannot be changed past 30 years of age. No matter how old we are and what we

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have done in the past, we have the choice and capacity to change. We have the power to transform Who we are in the present. This is not a platitude, but a fact that derives from the set-up of our brain and body. ∗ ∗ ∗ Pause for a moment, please. Sit comfortably, with uncrossed legs and arms, relax. Feel your back against the back of the chair and your feet on the floor. Observe whatever surrounds you; deploying your senses—what do you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch? Just identify without analysing, without putting the stamp of like or dislike. When you feel you have a complete picture, a sensorial snapshot of your surroundings, close your eyes and take the same objective observer stance inside. Zoom inside. Perceive your thoughts, without holding on to any of them; merely observing them arise and pass away. Zoom in further, how do you feel, in this moment? Now take three sheets of paper to Express whatever passes through your mind and heart. On the first sheet draw yourself, like you perceive yourself in this moment. On the second sheet draw yourself and your biggest problem at present. On the third sheet paint yourself free from pain; close your eyes and see yourself liberated from your problem. Putting this inner image on the third paper, use all the colours and time you want. You may return to this exercise and your drawing as often as you like. Once you begin to channel your vision from the inside onto paper, transforming it into concrete steps to overcoming the challenge is just a matter of time.

∗ ∗ ∗

2.2.4

Avoiding Comfort Zone Cultivation

Facing the wall of our comfort zone is unsettling at best, and maybe extremely painful if it calls into question a situation that has lingered for some time. We may think that our decisions are rational and based on the future value of objects, investments, and experiences. But we often asses our

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present situation using a baseline that is outdated. The sunk-cost fallacy is a common mind trap. Psychologically speaking it appears that our decisions are tainted by the accumulated ‘emotional investments’ that we have made over time; the more we have invested into something the harder it feels to abandon it (Kahneman 2011). Conscious awareness to this trap, which is one of several shortcuts that our mind establishes to accelerate decision-making under pressure, helps us navigate around it (Staw and Ross 1987a). However, instead of following the same track from cause to imagined consequence to conclusion, we can consciously choose to change the itinerary, considering the status quo through the prism of our desired future. The lack of an apparent alternative to the present is not enough of an excuse to escape this exercise. Once we have realized that we are bored with the landscape, do not like the destination it leads to, or do not enjoy our travel companion, the way of least resistance is to keep walking. Acknowledging factors of dissatisfaction with an open mind however, without snapping into our personal, well-oiled set of internal justifications (‘I cannot change my job, I don’t know anything else; I need the money; we have children/a bankaccount/a house/a cat together; what I do is pointless, but there is nothing else out there anyhow’, etc.) is the first step out. We will never find what is waiting along the road if we always stop thinking once we reach the threshold of discomfort. If we do not pursue that unpleasant train of thought, because we know we will not like what we find beyond the thresold of pain, we miss what might be just around the next corner. Even if we decide to keep walking on the present track for the time being—this does not prevent us from setting the base for change in the future. Not in terms of wishful thinking, forever condemned to the sphere of dreams; in the perspective of initiating a gradual yet concrete shift, from A beyond B to C, in order to reach D and subsequently E and F. While walking onwards, one can look up and ahead. 2.2.5

Correlating Circumstances

Taking a holistic view of the landscape that we operate in—the meso-level that shapes our day-to-day experiences, is necessary to initiate steps at the micro-level, starting with our own mindset and behaviour; which will eventually set us free.

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Piercing our comfort zone is not only in our own interest but also to the benefit of others, including those whom we currently use as an excuse of why we cannot change because we do not want to hurt them. On the one hand because being involved in an activity that is in line with our inner calling, we report the highest levels of life satisfaction; diving into the flow makes us flourish. On the other hand, pursuing our core aspirations reveals our best self to others (Baumeister et al. 2012), and by that same dynamic represents a path not only to personal but collective well-being. The quest for meaning can fuel what we do and conversely it is fuelled by what we do in its pursuit. Wasted potential can be as harmful as abilities that are used for a destructive purpose. The world that we face, the circumstances that lead to suffering at meso-, macro- and meta-level, are the cumulative consequence of, and have roots in, suffering at the microlevel which is the cause and consequence of individual action, and or lack thereof. Having a talent, idea, connection or other resource, or the unaddressed craving to help others, and NOT using it, is the root of many issues that plague humanity. ‘A person may cause evil to others not only by his actions but by his inaction, and in either case he is justly accountable to them for the injury’ (Mill 1859). That the answer to your emptiness, the destination of that energy that you have put in standby mode, is not obvious does not imply that it is not there, waiting to be pulled to the surface. We all have temporary moments of clarity, where we candidly question who we are, what we do, and why we are moving in the current direction. Then routine and the demands of our environment take over again, absorbing whatever insights and intentions we had just touched. The voice that speaks to us when we are willing to listen is drowned out once again. But it is still there. Like listening to music becomes possible when the traffic stops, the song seems gone when the next truck thunders by; though it keeps on playing in the background. Our body offers us an interesting tool to slip into these moments of quiet listening systematically and to expand them gradually. Our senses are like the tentacles of an octopus to grab the Now. With each sense that we attach to the present, our ‘reality’ becomes more tangible. When we consciously focus on every single detail that our eyes, ears, nose, tongue and skin can grasp in the present moment our mind clears, experiencing reality as it is; bare of mental mock-up filters. Concentrating on what is actually around us, means to cast out an anchor. When our mind is focused

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on digesting the experience of corporeal facts, it has no free capacity to indulge in an intellectual hamster wheel. Strangely, as we centre ourselves in the concrete, objective circumstances of the situation, our internal circumstances come into focus. The superficial décor of our inner realm including the usual thinking patterns fade, leaving only the foundational pillars standing. Choosing a purpose-oriented life entails a two-folded challenge. It starts with identifying what we desire most, and, once we have found the Why that matters most to us, to maintain this Why, our own purpose, present in our mind, always. A GPS does not serve its purpose if it is not charged or buried underneath a pillow. This two-folded awareness requires the ability to recentre inside. The more often and consciously we push the pressure points that lie beyond the limits of our comfort zone, the longer these moments of insight become; enabling us to tune into hearing the subtle sounds underneath the hustle and bustle of routine thinking. Someone who learns to swim spends most of the time with the head below the surface, but with practise the moments for fresh air become longer. Unless the fear of water prevents us from getting into the water in the first place. Consciously experiencing a situation reveals the ability to deliberately choose an action in it. Instead of blindly reacting to something that we like or dislike, awareness gives us space to choose our action as a carefully considered consequence of the factors at hand. If my friend slaps me I can either react by hitting her back, or I can take a breath, step back, and think about the likely causes of her action, and the consequences of reciprocating. I may still decide that this is the best course of action, but more likely I will remember that she has just lost her job and sits at the edge; choosing instead of a slap to offer her a hug and a cup of coffee to talk things over. If we are aware of the internal filters that determine our Experience of the Environment, then we can choose our Expression in this Environment. We make up the plot of many of our own worst nightmares. Like a painter who paints a monster with huge fangs and claws and does not dare to live in his own house for fear of the ugly man-eater that may come and devour him. Like a painter who paints a beautiful woman, and falls in love with her, vowing to never be able to love anyone else other than this marvellous creature of his own creation. Who is responsible for this suffering, the monster, the women, the paint, the brushes, or the canvas? ‘Nobody can deprive us of the power to choose our reaction to a given

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situation’ (Frankl 1959). Adopting a perspective of choice, means power; it induces a mind-shift from victimization to empowerment. Once we have identified what we care about most we are able to anchor ourselves in that purpose of our presence. Which means not only unchaining the passion that is simmering somewhere inside but discovering that we have clear opinions and positions. We form distinct opinions of our own, instead of blindly following and adopting the directions of others, because it is the way of least effort. The combination of a goal, combined with the passion to pursue this goal and a clear focus on how it can be achieved unveils an internal treasure trove.20 ∗ ∗ ∗ Next time when the pressure and stress around, and in you, seem overwhelming, take an ‘EEEE – Moment’ (consciously Experience your Environment via your senses, to reframe your Expression in this Environment).

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2.2.6

Building Influence from the Inside Out, and Vice Versa

Awareness of our physiological and intellectual makeup, of our emotions and sub-conscious motivations, enables us to make the best use of them, thus saving us from the unplanned consequences of our behavior and presence. The role of inspiration as a way to influence is highlighted here as yet another benefit that derives from personal charisma, which is conditioned by coherence of beliefs and behavior. Everything that we have seen so far is building up to one thing—the shape and tone of our influence on others. Understanding the direct and indirect impact that the interplay of aspirations, emotions, thoughts, and sensations has on ourselves, and on our environment allows us to systematically develop the influence that we need. Instead of being influenced— a) by the impact of our inner realm on our wellbeing and behavior, and b) by the presence, words and behavior of others, we develop systematic influence on a) our own self, and b) on other people. The results of

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such cognizance are to our own benefit and can be turned to the benefit others. Bodily posture impacts our physical, mental, and emotional status. It influences our mood, memory, behaviour, stress levels and can not only ease the symptoms of depression but lessen self-focus (Cuddy 2015).21 Physiologically speaking a physical pose that reflects for example an attitude of power—upright, square shoulders, head up, sends a specific signal to the brain; a neural impulse which turns into an actual, physiological response that boosts brainpower. This type of posture also affects our hormone levels; decreasing cortisol, which is associated to stress management and increasing testosterone, which is linked to self-confidence. Aside from nurturing a stronger attitude towards others, it also offer a way to cultivate our personal wellbeing. Hugging and smiling at oneself may improve one’s mood and sometimes even reduce physical pain. On the other hand, poor posture, such as slumped shoulders or a hanging head (the typical posture when we are hung up on our smartphones), has been shown to negatively impact our memory, stress response, selfesteem, body image, and even how efficiently and fast the brain functions overall (Veenstra et al. 2017). It does not only affect our immediate mental and physical reaction to external stressors but may lead, beside back and neck issues, to chronic mental stress and health problems. Beyond our health, mood, and intellectual abilities, our decisionmaking processes and opinions are also influenced by our body; altered posture and body language affects thinking. So-called power posing is one example of how this link between mind and matter can be used intentionally. Measuring the appetite for risk of participants in either expansive, powerful poses, or constricted poses (occupying minimal space, keeping limbs close to the body) researchers from Columbia and Harvard Universities found that body language symbolizing power can impact our decision-making, subconsciously (Galinsky 2011). Those who adopted expansive poses not only felt more powerful and in control but were 45% more likely to take a risky bet. In another study participants were asked to nod in agreements or shake their heads to signal disagreement, independently from their prevailing opinion on a given subject matter; these actions affected their opinions without them realizing the connection. But what if the benefit that derives from power posing is not just due to the confirmed connection between physical posture and personal psychological attitude, but the impact that our physical posture has on the

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perception that others have of us; and hereby their reaction to us, which then influences how we see ourselves. Impact comes full circle. The ‘winner effect’ strikes twice.22 Used initially in biology to describe how an animal that has won a few fights against weak opponents is more likely to win later, even against stronger contenders; the winner effect applies to humans, too (Robertson 2012). Success changes the chemistry of the brain, making us more focused, smarter, more confident, and more aggressive. The effect is literally addictive; the more we win the more we are ready to do to win in the future. The downside is that winning gradually makes the individual more lenient to abusive behaviour, and aggressivity. So-called Alpha-male behaviour, that we will look at further in Chapter 3 (Kauffman 2015), is nurtured.23 It is a spiral dynamic, that can easily spiral out of control. Because the more others perceive us as assertive the more powerful they consider us to be, which favours our chances to persuade or submit them; the results further boosting our self-confidence mentally, and physiologically due to the related hormone emission; or planting the seeds for our future exposure of power (Kauffman 2015). It is a vicious or virtous circle. When things go well, they are more likely to continue that way; whereas once we are downcast our mindset goes downhill too. Conscious awareness of this ongoing two-way continuum is a way to reverse the tide. Our physical frame offers us a concrete entry point to change our personal attitude towards ourselves, which impacts our attitude towards others, and hereby influences their attitude towards us. Inspiration, which is part of influencing, is the result of an event or a behaviour that stimulates in observers the belief that their own values, beliefs, and aspirations are not in vain. It can be triggered by special experiences, like the awe that arises in the presence of natural beauty, like a sunset, or by seemingly ordinary ones, such as witnessing another human being do something that is an illustration of the values and ideals that one cherishes. Of all the events that individuals may witness the one that is the most likely to inspire in them the desire of changing their own behaviour towards doing good, is when they experience someone helping someone else (Dixon 2008). The presence of one individual whose values, words, and action are in synch, and rooted in an attitude of kindness can ignite in millions the desire to get involved in building positive change.

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From Influence to Inspiration: The Scale of Influence

Influence has many degrees of intensity. Putting the multidimensional dynamic that results from the preceding pages on a ‘Scale of influence’ one can distinguish six degrees of intensity. 1. Indifference represents the point of departure. The target audience does not know and even less care about the topic in question. 2. Informing operates by the mean of facts, figures, and rational aspects. It figures on the low-intensity side, targeting the outer dimension of our decision-making, the mind. 3. Inducing desire or disgust via appeals that address emotions follows next. It involves tools such as multimedia materials and storytelling. Going deeper than merely intellectual understanding, it addresses the heart. 4. Intriguing occurs when mind and emotions are targeted in a complementary manner, using not merely conscious, but also subconscious factors of human decision-making. Nudging, a term that was coined in behavioural economics (Thaler 2008), goes one step further. It serves to not only intrigue the individual intellectually but to use the making of the human brain, its affinity for biases, to gently and without coercion, usher the person in a certain direction.24 The systematic design of decision-making architectures that are more conducive to one choice than another, features in this register. Transparency matters as there is a fine line between nudging and manipulation 5. Inspiring is the fourth degree. It involves authenticity, which is accessible to anyone. It results when the messenger’s values, aspirations, words, and behaviour are coherent. The body being the interface between inner and outer realm, whatever happens inside is reflected outside. Inspiration arises when inside and outside are in harmony. 6. Igniting combines inspiration with direct experience. Involving physical sensations (seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching) the audience is made to experience first-hand why and how the question at hand matters to them; and they are given the opportunity to get personally involved, which lowers the threshold that usually separates an action that is desirable from an action that is perceived as achievable by oneself. Placed at the highest intensity level on the

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Scale of influence it represents a category of its own; because it is already part of a new spiral dynamic. Shifting from the seat of the observer to the stage, the target audience adopts a behaviour that is prone to inspire others in their own environment (Fig. 2.4).

Fig. 2.4 Everything is connected, from the inside out and the outside in. Passion comes from purpose. The aspiration for meaning is a compass to guide our existence. Compassion for us builds compassion with others, and hereby connection, inside and outside. Honesty allows to acknowledge and accept, us and others; without pretention. Positive influence on the behaviour of others derives from understanding, and consciously influencing our own behaviour Conversely, when our action is an honest expression of our thoughts and emotions, we are moving towards the fulfilment of our purpose (Source Author)

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From Awareness to Action

Organized around a set of short statements, this section proposes a path along the various dimensions of inner and interpersonal influence. The following points build onto each other in view of accompanying you from understanding the concept that has been introduced on the preceding pages. Following a looping of internal attitude and external experience, their combination represents another way to look further into the four questions that were presented in the Preface: Outside in—WHAT does the person you aspire to be do? What we do, influences who we are. Inside out —WHO do you want to be? Who we are, influences what we do. Who we are, influences how we perceive the world. Who we are, influences how the world perceives us. Inside out —HOW does the person you aspire to be think? How we perceive the world influences how we act in and react to it. Inside out —WHY are you here? What we do for others, we do for ourselves. What we do for ourselves, we sometimes do for others. Let us go through them one by one. 2.3.1

What We Do Influences Who We Are

Experiences shape thoughts which result in emotions that influence aspirations . Science confirms the old saying ‘fake it till you make it’. This is true on the momentous emotional level, but also has consequences on the wider intellectual and even the aspirational level. Behaviour impacts our emotions and thoughts (Bagner et al. 2012) and it shapes our experience. The link between body and mood. A simple exercise to experience the link between physical experiences and their reflection on our state of mind is smiling. Place yourself in front of a mirror on a day where you

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feel unhappy and put your mouth in a smiling position. It will have an impact on your mood. Even if this ‘smile’ is the consequence of holding a pencil in between your teeth, your mood will be enhanced. As we have seen above another example is power posing. When you feel down or insecure, lift your chin, square your shoulders, put your arms and legs wide apart, taking up all the space you deserve. It will boost our selfesteem (Cuddy 2012). A third illustration of the link between body and mind are arm movements. Crossing your arms over your chest renders your mind less open to new propositions (besides, your body language will be perceived by those who interact with you as a barrier, a physical and mental expression of opposition). The link between behaviour (via thinking) and aspiration is less immediate, but just as powerful. The ‘outsight principle’, as it was mentioned above, is based on the premise that change starts with action not reflection.25 When we act differently our thoughts start to change in line with our new course of action. Practising positive outsight means we begin by manifesting the type of behaviour that we appreciate. Taking the person that we aspire to be as a mental yardstick we can start to redefine our family and workplace behaviour; not merely in our head and on paper but in practice. Implementing one step at a time, what we would like to see from ourselves and from others. Even if we have at the beginning no innate inclination to step away from those behaviours that have long been our comfortable companions. The challenge is to give the new course of action an honest try and not shy away when it feels weird or uncomfortable at the beginning. We are our own best laboratory when it comes to trying new things, and only our inner arbitrariness prevents us from using this liberty to the fullest. Experimenting with fresh ways of talking, interacting, eating, walking is like trying on new clothes—you can do it in the comfort of your accustomed environment. Reaching out to people that are not part of our usual circle of acquaintances offers the opportunity to make new friends, and to gain insights into perspectives that may be radically different from our own, hereby widening the latter. If you are not really happy in the skin of the person who you currently seem to be—what is the worst that could happen if you tried something completely different?

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Transformation is helped by the natural set-up of our mind and body; because the new way of doing something (external), that involves different thinking and different expressions, gradually re-modulates the mental dispositive (internal); new synaptic connections are established in the brain which eventually override the existing ones (Doidge 2007). The more often the new behaviour is repeated, the stronger these new synapses become; and the more robust they are, the more they play in favour of the new behaviour, which is one of the building stones of your new persona. 2.3.2

Who We Are Influences What We Do

Our personality, the combination of our why and what, shapes our behaviour. Conversely, our behaviour allows us to reshape our personality; one action after the other, in line with the person whom we aspire to be. Action and attitude shape each other, and hereby our emotions. When we aspire to be kind, generous, patient, or a good listener; than we can start to induce this character trait long before it feels like a natural manifestation of our character. The brain is our best friend when it comes to the design and implementation of Who we want to be. During the first months of a child’s life only the right frontal lobe is active. It is this brain component that will eventually specialize in visualspatial perception, creativity, and emotions (Moore et al. 2009). During the initial phase of life, we experience and express our emotions directly (Goleman 1995) because the inhibition of the left frontal lobe is not yet coming into play. Our internal filter mechanisms are still being established. A baby cries when it is unhappy and laughs when it is happy, without a detour via the learned ‘right/wrong’ department of social expectation. As we grow up, our being shifts attention from the world to the self. Gradually, we are not just reacting to the world but proactively acting in it. Once the cognitive function of the brain is fully developed, we seek to attract attention from the world to us and our needs, not just instinctively like the baby that is crying for attention, but purposefully, seeking to influence how others act and react to our presence and needs. Interpersonal interactions are the basis of everything that happens in life and society, but the manifold ways in which an individual ‘influences’ others

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and is influenced by them, remains an under-emphasized area of education curricula around the world. Thus, even though our desire to influence others becomes stronger as we progress through life, most of us remain unaware of the numerous ways in which we exert influence on our environment. We limit ourselves to words to convince, leaving aside that our whole being is made of instruments to persuade others; in our own interest and/or in the pursuit of a bigger cause. The aim of building an inspiring personality, which is in coherence with our values is supported by the Outside-In dynamic. The latter operates in complementarity to the Inside-Out logic discussed earlier. We can nurture change from the outside in, even if the internal mindset is not yet aligned; starting with tangible changes in our behavior. When it comes to behaviour that is pursued with the genuine intention of contributing to the well-being of others without expecting anything in return, the outside principle has a double benefit: It is likely to make the person for whom we make efforts happier; but also, ourselves. It allows us to break with the routine of looking out for our own agenda, and (as seen above) has measurable effects on our mood and overall well-being. The dynamic of a ‘chain of goodness’, which often begins with one person paying it forward without expectation of a return, serves not only the one who harvests the fruits of the selfless action, but also, and even more so, the one who is undertaking this act (Vianello et al. 2010). We may not feel compelled to start a conversation with the colleague who looks sad, to spend time with a lonely neighbour or to visit a distant relative at the hospital. We may have no desire to give money to an organization whose charitable mission we admire, or to begin a conversation with the homeless person in the streets. But if we overcome this inner reluctance, and do what will feel unfamiliar at first, we are likely to discover that we made ourselves feel happier, peaceful. Because even though this usually falls under the table in the daily rush of living, the desire to be ‘good’ (which implies in its most basic definition, doing to others what we want to have done to ourselves) is part of our evolutionary set-up as human beings (Sober and Wilson 1998). The brain is an organic piece of art that evolves throughout life. Our upbringing and environment impact the way we perceive the world, and consequently how we react to the world (Stiles and Jernigan 2010). Starting from the mother’s womb, and with ever-increasing intensity during the first 1000 days after birth, our whole organism is tuned into the task

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of making sense of our surroundings. But the power that derives from making sense and bringing sense into it are mostly undervalued. Even though the consequences of emotional intelligence have been known ever since Daniel Goleman’s book of the same title was published (Goleman 1995), the schools that tailor their teaching approach and content in line with the basic principles of emotional intelligence remain rare and are often accessible only to those who can afford privates schooling.26 In most countries school systems continue to emphasize performance and intellectual achievements; whereas understanding the systemic ingredients of influence is left to chance. But we can self-educate ourselves to use our five senses—not just to perceive, but to learn from our experiences in order to shape our expressions in a way that is conducive to our desired outcomes.27 Why leave to chance what can be shaped systematically? 2.3.3

Who We Are Influences How We Perceive the World

Combined sensory perception feeds our intuition. Linking our inner and outer reality, intuition is based on a mechanism that has been fine-tuned by evolution. Even when our conscious left brain is otherwise engaged, the intuitive right brain is ‘reading’ our surroundings, using whatever input it gets via the senses. Humans have evolved for millennia to decode their environment (Fliesler 2017). We unconsciously analyse what is happening long before cognitive judgement sets in. Built into the hardware of our body and brain, this intricate mechanism allows us to sense approaching events that would otherwise evade our awareness (Lehrer 2010); alerting us to patterns in our environment that are so subtle that we cannot consciously detect them. Usually divided into exteroceptive (outsight) and interoceptive (insight) up to 21 senses can be identified, depending on the definition. The most commonly cited ones are directed outwards (i.e. they are exteroceptive), including vision (sight), audition (hearing), gustation (taste), olfaction (smell), and tactition (touch), but there are also thermoception (heat, cold), nociception (pain), equilibrioception (balance, gravity), and proprioception (body awareness). Interoceptive senses perceive sensations in internal organs (Masland et al. 2008). Benefitting to the fullest from this sophisticated constellation requires acute awareness to and understanding of the components that are

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involved in the analysing, filtering and judging of incoming triggers, and a cautious acceptance of intuition. Gut instincts are crucial for survival, but fallible. The right brain’s ability for pattern recognition and pattern identification may trigger suspicion of unfamiliar things or cause us to be overly reactive to people who remind us of someone (Dhaliwal 2011). The interpretation we make of an event depends on our prevailing mindset and emotions, which are influenced by both our past experiences, including upbringing and education, and by our current mood, and exposure to influences like the opinions of people around us and larger social currents. Choosing which gut feelings to trust is a quest of balance between intuition and linear, rational thinking. Adopting an attitude of acute Awareness of the interplay between our mind, and the sensorial inputs that it is exposed to puts us in the position to consciously align them in a beneficial sequence: after registering an intuitive hit, we engage our ability for rational thought to weigh our options and decide on the best course of action. However, often we jump to conclusions based on the immediate impressions that the moment offers. Triggered into an emotional reaction that does not stand up to careful analysis we sometimes adopt a behavior that we regret once the heat of the moment has subsided. A matrix to facilitate the shift from emotional to objective decision-making is proposed in Chapter 4. Daniel Kahneman’s explanation of two parallel, yet complementary thought systems helps understand how to use intuition with care (Kahneman 2011). ‘System 1’ is fast, instinctive, and emotional, used in situations requiring fast reaction because we face (or seem to face) immediate danger. ‘System 2’ is slower, more deliberative, and more logical. While the first is automatic, the second needs concentration and agency to process thoughts; it is part of the conscious self, which makes choices, has reasons, and holds beliefs. To monitor and modify behaviour consciously, for example, to shift from leisurely strolling to running because we want to catch the bus, one would tap into System 2. Since System 1 is not capable of experiencing doubt, System 2 is designed to monitor, encourage, or suppress the thoughts and actions that System 1 promotes. Even though System 1 may seem automatic, beyond our immediate control, it can be trained to benefit from the complementarity between System 1 and 2. It takes effort that pays off twice. Not only does the conscious activation of System 1 in the pursuit of a new behaviour change momentous behaviour in line with our medium and longterm interests; it gradually results in a set of new neural pathways in the brain. This

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physiological modification transforms conscious effort via System 2 into an instinctive modus operandi triggered intuitively by System 1. While a strain at first, even radically new behaviour can thus become natural as time goes by. The complementarity of System 1 and 2 lays the ground for an optimization of experiments that are undertaken with the scope of the outside principle seen above. Grasping whether a situation presents a threat or an opportunity, whether the being next door is a friend or a foe, enabled the caveman to react quickly, and most of the time appropriately. The challenge is that our surroundings are getting ever more complex to comprehend. Systematically nurturing our inherent mental, emotional, and sensorial mechanisms, and the ongoing mutual influence that derives from it on our perceptions, attitude and behavior, is challenging, but a worthwhile effort. It allows us to not only react appropriately to arising situations; but to proactively shape our life. Coming to grips with the four dimensions of our being (soul, heart, mind, body), and their interplay, enables us to systematically influence what is going on inside. Once we have influence over ourselves, we can induce the type and tone of external influence that supports progression towards our purpose. Then can we protect ourselves from manipulative influences, even in the form of subtle undercurrents, that emanate from others. 2.3.4

Who We Are Influences How the World Perceives Us

Establishing positive influence begins with authenticity, which results when a person’s intentions, words, and behaviour are aligned. As a matter of survival, the human organism has evolved over millennia to alert us to signs of untrustworthiness. Thus, those around us unconsciously detect whether our words are a true reflection of our intentions —if we are authentic or not. Lived authenticity is the principal ingredient of influence on others and it is the foundation of social harmony. When our soul, heart, mind, and body are aligned we enter a state of inner peace, from which the harmonization of our relationships with others flows effortlessly. Just as we shy away from situations that create internal cognitive dissonance, we refrain from engaging with individuals whose inauthenticity we detect. It may not always be possible to pinpoint a clear reason, but the presence of certain people makes us uncomfortable; while there are others that just make us feel good.

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If we do not perceive someone as credible and authentic, that person will have little influence over us, even when the right words, mimics, and gestures are used. Being authentic is less about talking than walking. When it comes to subconscious decoding, brain scans show that nonverbal factors trump intellectual inputs. Peoples’ judgement derives to about half from a speaker’s body language, the tone of voice accounts for roughly a third, whereas the content itself accounts for about 10 percent (Mehrabian and Wiener 1967). But exactly what is authenticity? Among the three broad kinds of authenticity that are commonly defined, historical, categorical, and value authenticity (Newman and Smith 2016), we will focus on the third—value orientation. According to humanistic psychologists, authentic people possess several common characteristics; they have realistic perceptions of their environment; accept themselves and others; are thoughtful; have a non-hostile sense of humour; can express their emotions freely and clearly; are willing to learn from their own mistakes; and understand their personal motivations (Newman 2019). Conversely, people are perceived as inauthentic when they come across as deceptive; look to others for approval; are judgemental; do not think things through; have a hostile sense of humour; are unable to express their emotions; are unwilling to acknowledge and learn from their mistakes; and most importantly, do not understand their own motivations (Joseph 2019). We trust those who do what they say, and practise what they preach. This may seem obvious, yet it is surprising how many people seek to influence the behaviour of others without setting an example. Someone’s arguments may seem rationally justified and morally sound, but if their own actions do not align with these argumentation, we are apprehensive to their propositions, and reluctant to change our behaviour in line with their wishes. More likely, we become even more inclined to stick to our current course of action, even seeking do the opposite of what they ask for (Lehman et al. 2019). Taking all this together, authenticity can be distilled in four components. It involves to stand up (physical action, be it in speech or behaviour) for what we believe in (intellectual and aspirational value orientation and statement), even if it is at odds with the prevailing standards or opinions (emotional show-up, courage). But then it requires a fourth attribute, which is the one that is most often neglected, authenticity requires that someone does not only stands up for things that matter,

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genuinely believing in what she/he says, but then also acts in a way that is consistent with the stated belief (by illustrating hands-on the desired behaviour). An example where the first three points are addressed and the last one is missed may sound familiar to some of you—a CEO stands vocally up for the rights of women and girls, financing public advocacy campaigns and micro-credit projects for female entrepreneurs, but his company’s board has less than 10 percent women and he forbids his wife from taking a job. Despite the invested funds external efforts will have limited impact. Another illustration are institutions dedicated to social change programs meant to benefit the poorest of the world, which organize their conferences and workshops in highend hotels; paying extensive travel expenses to bring in participants from all over the place to discuss poverty, hunger and discrimination (Easterly 2007). Authenticity can be nurtured and may yield unexpected benefits. Research shows that leaders who engage in self-sacrificing behaviour do not only have greater influence on their employees but may induce in them a shift of attitude, towards more commitment to their work and increased compassion to their colleagues (Vianello et al. 2010). 2.3.5

How We Perceive the World Influences How We act in and React to It

The objective circumstances are not always (rarely actually) the same as the subjective impression and interpretation that we give to our environment. This interpretation shapes how we re-act in a situation. Becoming aware of the factors that influence our perception helps to build cautious awareness towards our own judgement. If I think the coil on the ground is a snake, I feel scared and run away. Once I realize it is a rope, the fear dissipates, and I stay. The thought determined the feeling and triggered an action. Though we cannot command our emotions directly, the snake/rope example suggests an important takeaway—thinking can serve to shape our feelings indirectly and consciously. The brain is a pattern-recognition machine. Establishing automatisms is the only way for the brain to process the huge quantity of information that our sense tools take in every second. Starting from an early age, the brain starts to form rules about the world based on observations; sometimes making errors. The challenge is that we get so used to these rules and the resulting automatic thoughts that we do not even notice

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them anymore; nor the in-built errors. Awareness of the automatisms that shape our perceptions and behaviour, is the first step to overcoming them. And if we change our thoughts, our feelings follow. Regardless of its origin, a distorted perspective can be changed. Cognitive therapy argues that an individual’s problems are derived largely from distortions of reality, based on erroneous premises and assumptions. These incorrect conceptions originate in defective learning during one’s cognitive development, starting in early childhood. Correcting learned misconceptions entails two steps; first we must unravel existing thinking patterns about ‘reality’; including an honest assessment of the (perceived) advantages and disadvantages that derive from the behaviour that we have developed over the years in order to cope with the perceived reality. Then, based on such introspection, we must learn alternative ways to experience the environment and express ourselves in it. The resulting experiences then confirm the validity of the new behaviour and of the thinking pattern underneath. The gradually emerging new thinking and behaviour pattern leaves an imprint in the neural set-up, eventually changing it as the existing synaptic connections are replaced by fresh ones (Doidge 2007). Studies have shown that challenging automatic thoughts is useful to counter perfectionism, curb procrastination, and relieve depression and anxiety. It can also serve to treat low self-esteem, shame, guilt, and anger (McKay and Tryon 2017). Next time you react to something with an inappropriate level of anxiety or fear, pause, observe, and zoom inside. Take a step back and review the sequence that has just transpired in your head, asking yourself: What automatic thoughts led up to these feelings? What unspoken rules are they supporting? A conscious distinction between ‘I believe’ (an opinion that is subject to validation) and ‘I know’ (an irrefutable fact) is helpful (Beck 2012). Some common and contra-productive ‘rules’ that the brain establishes are: • Personalization: We think that everything is about us. (If I wear mismatching shoes, everyone will notice.) Antidote: Pause and remember that in fact, everybody is concentrating on themselves, thinking everything is about them. • Mind-reading: We deduce what others think/feel from their behaviour; and go wrong in our assumption. Antidote: Pause and

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remember that the other person is as much a complex being as you are, with the same four-dimensional set-up that leaves many different explanations for their behaviour, ergo most likely their actions have little to do with you. Magnifying: We transform the ant into an elephant. Antidote: Pause and consciously reverse engineer the elephant into an ant. Catastrophizing: We attribute in our mind a disastrous outcome to an issue, though objectively speaking it might just as well go smoothly. Antidote: Pause and imagine the best-case scenario and the worst-case scenario reminding yourself that the chances for both may be equal. Polarization: We fall into black and white thinking without attention to the many shades of grey in between. Antidote: Pause and observe the multiple factors at play in the situation; the world being as complex as it is, why should this scenario be a simple black versus white, right versus wrong? Over-generalization: We deduct the present from the past (since X did not like me, nobody ever will). Antidote: Pause and put things into perspective. Everything and everybody including yourself (and those whom you meet and once met) keep on changing. One judgement that was made once by one person is just as outdated as the newspaper from last month. Must Do’s: We establish rules for ourselves and others, and feel frustrated if they are neglected. Antidote: Pause and step out; consciously identify the internal instructions that keep your life in a corsage. Going through them, one by one, discard those that no longer serve you, while reassessing the applicability of those which you intend to keep for now.

Which of the above listed thinking patterns are you falling prey to? Correct diagnosis is the first step towards occupying the driver’s seat of our brain, and our behaviour. Each time when we catch our mind in the act of snapping into an automatism, we are one step closer to rewiring the overall pattern. The brain uses automatic reflexes to speed up our decisionmaking to help us. If it gets the right training, it gets the right results.

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2.3.6

What We Do for Others We Do for Ourselves

Paradoxically what we do to further the well-being of others is the best thing we can do for our own sake. Investing time and effort in the happiness of others has positive benefits for us, affecting our physical, mental, emotional, and aspirational level. This may appear counter-intuitive at first, but can be groomed into a mindset that makes it natural. A new set of behaviour patterns can be initiated consciously and nurtured over time. Systematically pursuing this type of action, which translates deep-rooted values in concrete behaviour is a safe way to cultivate coherent, authenticity—and personal happiness . Acquiring a new character trait, habit, or skill is possible anytime because our minds continuously adjust to changing environments. Old memories are replaced by, or combined with, new ones. We can systematically influence and use this mechanism to shape the personality profile and skill set we desire. ‘Walking primes talking’ when it comes to external persuasion; similarly taking action primes mere intention. Doing wins over thinking also when it comes to internal relearning. Ideally ‘learning’ involves a combination of theory (understanding of what, why, and how) and double-sided practice (with on the one hand physical experience via expression of the desired change, including use of the new skill and witnessing others use it, and on the other, teaching the new acquisition to others). Why? Since most of our memory is not conscious; deep learning results from exposure to numerous factors and contexts; it involves a combination of auditory, visual, and kinaesthetic elements (Knowles 1970). Exposure to multiple physical, emotional, and intellectual stimuli allows the brain to develop diverse ways to summarize and recall the new approach. In this ‘change-process’ mastery is secondary; it grows as the new action is repeated. Over time, the brain develops new neural pathways which become deeper with each repetition of the new behaviour; thus, gradually even once unfamiliar action becomes easy, until it is the new normal (Doidge 2007). Practising one’s new skill or knowledge while teaching it to others is a fail-safe path to sustainably modifying past mental patterns. This learning logic can be used to acquire languages, learn how to swim, adopt an active sportive lifestyle, shift to a vegan diet, etc. It can also serve to modify our personality. We tend to consider kindness, courage, generosity, altruism, etc., as character traits that some have and others do not. We admire them from afar, praise in talks and on social

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media. But these often feel out of reach; too much of a stretch to even begin undertaking them. They feel abstract, even though they resonate with our values, the part of our being that has been nurtured by the ethical ideals that we grew up with. But how do we experience and measure the shape and intensity of those values, if not via the expression of human beings? Gandhi, Mandela, Mother Theresa, Jesus (and thousands of others) are admired for what they did with their lives; not for what they asked others to do with theirs. The accumulated expression of a certain behaviour, a set of actions, physical or verbal, repeated over time establishes a character trait that eventually becomes an integral part of a person’s individuality. What we do today is a minuscule piece of what we will be tomorrow. The influence that we have on the internal interplay that shapes who we are, shapes the influence that we have on others. ∗ ∗ ∗ Think about one person whom you admire. Visualize him or her. What does s/he do? What prevents you from doing the same?

∗ ∗ ∗ Even behaviour that is initially not carried by genuine compassion nor the intention of disinterested service to others will gradually change the way in which you think and feel about yourself. Each emulation of those values and character traits that you admire in others nurtures them in you; they are already a part of you—that is why they resonate with you—the question now is to just to unearth them from the place inside yourself where they are waiting in standby mode as you read this. The resulting experiences will change how you perceive your environment; and how you are perceived in it. The physical sensation involved with the action that you are taking (touch, smell, vision, sound, taste), the immediate reaction of others to your behavior and the overall outcome of your behaviour will register as a memory in your mind. Next time when you are in a similar situation your conscious and subconscious self will draw on this memory. As you keep on enacting the type of behaviour that you previously revered from distance in others, the composition of your personal archived memories will be gradually changing.

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As time goes by these new experiences accumulate in your mental archive. Each repetition of a similar behaviour deepens the related thinking pattern and the synaptic connections underneath. Eventually the ‘new’ behaviour becomes an acquired taste that flows naturally; organically integrating your personality. As seen earlier, once a new behavioral dynamic is initiated even observing other people engage in it contributes to strengthening the synaptic connections in the brain that underpin this type of action. Gradually the Who that you aspire to be emerges as alignment replaces incoherence. The alternative is dire. Behaviour that reflects a contrast between the words and pretentions of someone, and the actual behaviour of that person, has adverse consequences for the individual himself, and those around him. These adverse effects play in the short, medium, and longer term. Even if there are no direct or immediate repercussions the effects build up, slowly eroding the (sub) conscious image that the person has of himself. Gradually this will affect his emotions, thinking, and behaviour. Unless we consciously assess and acknowledge this connection and decide to amend the behaviour that perpetrates the conundrum that makes us uncomfortable inside, the latter continues; driving us ever deeper into it. Because the more uncomfortable we feel in our own skin, the more likely we are to stick to engrained behaviour patterns as a means of emotional stability; and the more unhappy we become because of it, the more disagreeable we are in the interaction with others. Both behaviours keep digging the hole we are sitting in deeper. Though always unfortunate for individuals and the people they interact with, this interplay of internal incoherence, personal unhappiness, and external expression is disastrous if it prevails among those who pursue social change processes professionally. It has a twofold downside. Not only does it deter outsiders who are potential supporters to seriously consider (mind) getting involved in the cause that these individuals represent; it makes these individuals and through them, the institution which they represent lose out on the opportunity to inspire in outsiders the desire (emotion) to be part of the cause because it resonates with their personal purpose (aspiration); leave alone igniting in them the shift from aspiration to actual action.

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Humanitarian and development workers perceived as inauthentic involuntarily dissuade people who were initially open to involvement in prosocial action, disillusioning them regarding the feasibility and desirability of social change. Whereas people who act in line with their words and values, emanate an inspirational quality that is subconsciously perceived by those who encounter them. Thus, the behaviour of social workers who do not practise what they preach is detrimental to their own personal well-being (due to cognitive dissonance); and it impacts the institution that employs them. Their behaviour contributes to the collective failure of accomplishing the stated mission (while feeding the critics who decry anything but the ‘free market’ to serve social progress). This is taken up in Chapter 3. 2.3.7

What We Do for Ourselves, We Do for Others

Allocating time and effort to identify and pursue what matters to us personally is not an egoistic attitude. Zooming in to the core of our being, our aspirations is beneficial for us and others . Leaving aside short-term gratification action for a larger cause benefits ourselves and others simultaneously. Going down to this level of introspection may require a switch of attitude though. Usually we know what is best for us and we have a quite clear understanding of the positive and negative impact that the intended behaviour may have on others. Yet in the heat of the moment our mind may be stuck in a short-sighted self-serving mode—of which we can know in advance that it entails an aftermath of regret. To access this cognitive foresight, we must have the luxury of putting a deliberate moment of reflection between the external trigger and our decision to act. The question is to step out of the automatic loop that connects experience (trigger)—past experience (memory)—expression (reaction)—experience (future memory), and step onto the balcony. Zoom out of the situation and ask yourself—before snapping into action: Does the decision result from conscious influence on the four dimensions of my being or is it triggered by my instinct and habits? A decision can be analysed in terms of the causes that led to it and the consequences that derive from it. Schematically putting things into perspective can help us to consciously move away from a purely instinctive, ad hoc method of deciding, towards a more rational, objective, and measured approach. An example of what this can look like is given in Chapter 4.

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Acting for and with others has direct and indirect consequences. Individuals who allocate resources, be they in the form of money, assets, power, or social connections, can contribute to a change of the circumstances which they may bemoan as unsustainable. By doing something in line with this personal power to help those who suffer under the status quo, they shift from bystander to player. Such a mindset of agency nurtures their self-understanding, adds the dimension of a larger purpose to their life, and improves the overall societal environment they evolve in. The latter is felt positively at all levels of society, offering mental and physiological benefits (Picket and Wilkinson 2009). However, sustainable impact requires a human connection between those who need change and those who can make this change happen. Social transformation is only maintainable if all the affected parties want it and are involved in the process. Not only because the feeling of being associated in a process influences the willingness to support it but inversely the desire for change influences the level of engagement (Koestner et al. 1987). In addition, since those individuals to whom the present status is detrimental, experience the consequences first-hand they have valuable practical insights for understanding, addressing, and reversing the situation. Impact needs solutions that are anchored in genuine commitment and pragmatism.

2.4

The Mathematics of Transformation

Who we are influences what we do, and what we do shapes who we are. We can either accept the orientation of our life as a given or consciously shape it. To simplify the application of the proposed methodology the following offers an equation that illustrates the move from passive to proactive attitude, and the causes and consequences of such a transition. When the four dimensions of our existence are misaligned, each dimension becomes a stone that pulls us down; prohibiting us from leaping to the next stage. If our aspirations, emotions, thoughts, and sensations are determined by an undercurrent of unfulfilled needs they pull us down; if they come from a place of free will they push us up. Alignment may grow organically over time, gradually ensuing as the dimensions of our being enter in synch; it may be the result of a life-changing experience or of a radical decision that is translated into action (Fig. 2.5).

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Fig. 2.5 The level of our internal alignment impacts how we externally perceive others and how we are perceived by them. (from left to right, bottom up) When the internal and external manifestations of our being, our experiences and our expressions, are disconnected we are fixated on the status quo, as an apparent asset of assurance; when internally our emotions and thinking have begun to align with our aspirations, but our external behaviour is not reflecting that yet, we tend to spend time and energy worrying about the status quo while lacking the endeavour to change it; when our external behaviour mirrors the person whom we aspire to be in the long term, even though internally our emotions and thoughts may not yet be fully aligned, an opening orientation emerges which gradually expands and becomes ever more intuitive and natural—if the behaviour is maintained over time. Once our aspirations and action mirror each other, complete freedom manifests. Peace inside and out ensues (Source Author)

Looking at the four dimensions of our being and their multiple interactions, we can distinguish two states, coherence and incoherence. When our values, aspirations, thoughts, words and behaviour are aligned, coherent, then we are at peace, inside and with others. Conversely, if our external expressions and our personal values, aspirations, emotions, and thoughts are out of synch, incoherent, then our being is fragmented, which is mirrored by our appearance. When the four dimensions are out of balance the individual’s expressions and experiences are marked by an insatiable need for control. Once balance is established, internally and outside, the four dimensions are

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marked by freedom. Putting this in a schematic overview let us distinguish four conditions—for incoherence, there are internal implications (A) and external implications (B); equally, looking for coherence we will look at the internal inferences (C) and the external ones (D). Each of these conditions has causes and consequences in each of the four dimensions, which affect the other dimensions. Summarily, two simple equations appear: A & B  Fragmentation C & D  Peace Constellations that illustrate how personal change processes are influenced from the outside in (D & A), and from the inside out (C & A) include: D & B  Status quo fixation A & C  Opening orientation B → C  A → D. Organic sequencing towards gradual change Let us go through some of the constellations that derive from this interconnected logic: D & B  A: Status quo fixation Examples—If you pursue your aspirations with passion (D, i.e. external coherence) but are driven by the need of adhering to the prevailing social norms and standards (B, i.e. internal incoherence), you are at risk of becoming cynical about yourself and your values (A, i.e. internal incoherence). If you seek a connection with others (D) but are motivated by the need to belong (B), you expect for any goodwill that you show to others a return in kind, which makes you dependent on their behaviour, and puts you at risk of ending up emotionally indifferent; possibly experiencing [compassion] burnout (A). If you are inspired by a cause or the goodness of others (D) but feel driven by the need for status (B) you may end up hypocritical (A), because to not undermine your social standing you are likely to exercise selective transparency. Even if you have creative ideas that could inspire others (D) the need to control the process (B) will limit the explorative space to your comfort zone (A), stifling genuine innovation.

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A & C  D: Opening orientation. Learning from the outside in Examples—When you are cynical about your surroundings (A, i.e. external incoherence) yet feel connected to a purpose (C, i.e. internal coherence), you may demonstrate passion (D, i.e. external coherence) and through the ensuing experiences infuse the dullness of your routine with sparks that give you the appetite to go further. When you are indifferent (A) about your own well-being but make a conscious effort to feel empathy with others (C) you experience ever so often moments of genuine connection (D), through which you gradually learn compassion for yourself. When you are distrustful about the world (A), yet honest with yourself (C), you find the humility to see yourself and others in a holistic perspective. Combined with compassion for yourself and those around you, as well as the orientation towards a clear purpose, you may discover opportunities to optimize your strengths in complementarity to the strengths of others (D). When you are attached to your comfort zone (A) but started to identify how the different dimensions of your being shape each other, and if consequently, you invest effort to influence these interactions consciously (C), your behaviour will gradually enter in synch with your values. The authentic appearance that ensues results in experiences which confirm this new course of action (D). B → C  A → D: Organic sequencing Examples—When you replace the need for security in your private and professional life (B), with trust in the purpose of your path (C), the experience of scepticism (A) is eventually replaced with the ability to express passion (D). When you replace the need to fit in (B) with the aspiration to connect with others as equals (C), the experience of indifference (A) that may have tainted your feelings and relationships is replaced by genuine connection (D). When you replace the craving for status (B) with honesty towards yourself and those around you (C) the experience of being hypocritical (A) is replaced by inspiration in everyday encounters (D). When you let go of the need to control everything that is going on in your life (B) and concentrate the freed-up energy to understand and influence how you operate yourself (C), the need for a clear-cut comfort zone dissipates (A) enabling you to inspire by being yourself (D). The overarching antinomic pair that embraces all of them is Freedom and Control. It plays in all four dimensions. The need for control represents

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the neuralgic entry point from which all others radiate. As long we crave a physical grip on things, we imprison our aspirations, emotions, thoughts, and experiences in the cocoon of our present-day mindset; stifling the oxygen that is necessary for the unknown to happen, for change to bloom (Fig. 2.6). Once we have understood our own operating model, we understand better how and why we ourselves, and those around us, act the way we do. Such two-folded insight offers the power to build compassion, with ourselves and others, and to systematically nurture the kind of influence we want, on us and them. Both internal and external influence is helped by purpose. On the one hand Inside, because identifying the meaning of our existence impacts how we perceive ourselves, and hereby how we behave and appear; ergo how we are perceived by others. On the other hand, purpose-orientation matters Outside, because action that is driven by a purpose which is not self-serving inspires others to rethink and possibly reorient their own course of action. The more we act in line with our personal aspirations, values, and beliefs, the firmer we become rooted in them, which makes us ever more inspiring or positively influential. Impact ensues (Fig. 2.7).

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Fig. 2.6 The four dimensions stand in a constant interplay, mutually influencing each other. Whether it is balance or imbalance, the impact manifests itself both internally (affecting how we perceive ourselves and the environment) and externally (affecting how we express ourselves, and hereby how we are perceived by others) (Source Author)

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Fig. 2.7 Influence on ourselves entails the power to change what is out of synch with the Why that we aspire to. Humility that results from genuine introspection sets the ground for unfiltered interpersonal connections which must be the starting point if sustainable impact is the aim of our endeavours (Source Author)

Notes 1. The mind impacts the body, and vice versa. Psycho-oncology seeks to optimize this connection to lengthen the life of cancer patients by improving the mental and emotional circumstances of the patient. Meaning and social connections are central in this endeavour (Spiegel 2012). 2. In positive psychology, a flow state, also known colloquially as being ‘in the zone’, is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. Flow is characterized by the complete absorption in what one does, and a resulting loss in one’s sense of space and time. Named in 1975, the concept has been widely referred to across a variety of fields though the concept has existed

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for Millenia, notably in some Eastern religions, for example Buddhism (Csikszentmihályi 1990). For an extensive overview of relevant research from which this section has drawn please see Seppälä, E. (2013). Compassion: Our First Instinct. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/ 201306/compassion-our-first-instinct. Compassion can be defined as ‘a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for other people’s suffering or bad luck and a desire to help’. Cambridge Academic Content Dictionary © Cambridge University Press. Research at the University of Chicago showed that even rats are driven to empathize with another suffering rat and seek to help it. Studies with young chimpanzees and human infants back up these claims (BenAmi Bartal et al. 2011) Looking at very young children scientists at the Max Planck Institute, found that they spontaneously engage in helpful behaviour and will seek to overcome obstacles to do so. They seem to do so from intrinsic motivation without expectation of reward. Infants’ pupil diameters, a measure of attention, decrease both when they help and when they see someone else helping, suggesting that they are not simply helping because helping feels rewarding. Apparently the alleviation of suffering in itself brings reward—whether or not they engage in the helping behaviour themselves (Svetlova et al. 2010). A study examining the trait most highly valued in potential romantic partners suggests that both men and women agree that ‘kindness’ is one of the most highly desirable traits. A brain-imaging study led by neuroscientists at the National Institutes of Health showed that the brain areas that are activated when we experience pleasure, are equally active when we observe someone giving money to charity as when we receive money ourselves (Leliveld and Risselada 2017). In an experiment at the University of British Columbia participants received a sum of money; half of them were instructed to spend the money on themselves, the other half to spend the money on others; participants who had spent money on others felt significantly happier than those who had spent money on themselves (Dunn et al. 2011). Another study at the University of British Columbia shows that young children who offer treats to others feel happier than those who receive treats themselves (Layous et al. 2012). Research at Fraser University shows that, across 136 countries, the amount of money people spend for others correlates with personal well-being, regardless of their own income (Aknin et al. 2018). For an overview of the impact of charitable giving on the brain see Van der Linden (2011). Human beings strive for internal psychological consistency to function mentally in the real world. A person who experiences internal inconsistency tends to become psychologically uncomfortable and is motivated

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9.

10. 11.

12. 13.

14.

15. 16. 17.

18.

to reduce the cognitive dissonance. They tend to make changes to justify the stressful behaviour, either by adding new parts to the cognition causing the psychological dissonance or by avoiding circumstances and contradictory information likely to increase the magnitude of the cognitive dissonance. Coping with the nuances of contradictory ideas or experiences is mentally stressful. It requires energy and effort to sit with those seemingly opposite things that all seem true. Festinger argued that some people would inevitably resolve dissonance by blindly believing whatever they wanted to believe (Festinger 1957). In Japan the concept has a strong social angle; involving acceptance of your role in your family, job, and wider society. Whereas men usually associate their ikigai with work and career, women associate it with family. However, this gender divide may evolve with the modernization of society (Perry 2018). For an introduction in this fascinating area please see Gordon (2008). Subjective well-being (SWB) is defined as ‘a person’s cognitive and affective evaluations of his or her life’ (Diener et al. 2002). A positive evaluation means the person is happy. Happiness is dealt with later in this chapter. Another interesting read on the implications of this bias and how to overcome it is (Staw and Ross 1987b). The word ‘Happiness’ has evolving meanings and differing interpretations. Depending on context it may describe current experiences, including the feeling of an emotion (affect) such as pleasure or joy, or a more general emotional condition in the present. In this book we will refer to happiness as an experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good and worthwhile (Lyubomirsky 2008). The more meaning we find in life, the happier we feel, and the happier we feel, the more we feel encouraged to pursue even greater meaning and purpose (Kashdan and Biswas-Diener 2008). Furthermore, on the link between meaning and belonging, see Lambert et al. (2013). In 1970, shortly before his death Maslow added an additional dimension, on top of the pyramid, which is self-transcendence. One common way of studying human emotion is to obtain self-reports from participants to quantify their current feelings or average feelings over a longer period. These are referred to as measures of affect or measures of emotion (Russell and Barrett 1999). Studies found that income (beyond a certain threshold) correlates only weakly (.44 in the global sample), with ‘life satisfaction’ and even less with emotional well-being. In the United States the threshold hovered around $75,000 (Kahneman and Deaton 2010).

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19. Attention to emotions, relationships, and stress management is the latest addition of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. The study, like its remaining original subjects, has had a long life, starting in the 1930s, and, so far four directors, whose tenures reflected their medical interests and views of the time. From 1938 until 1954, the study mirrored the era’s dominant view of genetics and biological determinism. Early researchers believed that physical constitution, intellectual ability, and personality traits determined adult development. They made detailed anthropometric measurements of skulls, brow bridges, and moles, wrote in-depth notes on the functioning of major organs, examined brain activity through electroencephalograms, and even analysed the men’s handwriting. Their successors draw men’s blood for DNA testing and put them into MRI scanners to examine organs and tissues in their bodies. A focus on the non-physiological determinants of well-being is the most recent feature to be included (Harvard Study of Adult Development 2017). 20. This may have unexpected consequences. (My personality profile as assessed by the Hogan Personality Inventory shifted dramatically; looking at the ‘dark side’—the coping mechanisms that we deploy under stress—in 2017, I had ‘submission to authority’ as a major streak; when I redid the test two years later, it showed that this tendency had been replaced by ‘irreverence’.) From the Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP, https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/ neuro-linguistic-programming) perspective, exploring my Zone of Integration enabled me to look with open eyes at my Zone of Influence, and from here to actively improve things in my Zone of acceptance. Once I had started to pierce my zone of comfort, I found the oxygen outside not only refreshing but invigorating. The Hogan Personality Inventory looks into your bright and dark sides, in a normal situation and under pressure http://www.hoganassessments.com/sites/ default/files/uploads/Assessment%20Brochure-min.pdf. 21. Over the years after her hugely popular TED talk numerous researchers criticized the approach, suggesting that there is no direct correlation between body posing and emotions, see Simmons (2016). A Forbes interview from 2018 offers an overview of Cuddy’s persuasive (albeit heterodox) arguments in response to her critics (Elsesser 2018) which are part of a larger debate about the methodology of science. 22. Looking at the animal kingdom is educative. (The illusion of) Large body size often equals the perception of power. Monkeys use their physical frame to protect their territory, impress females and frighten enemies through expansive postures (i.e. spread limbs, open chest); similarily birds fluff up their plumes to impress females and enemies. 23. In animal studies, the highest-ranking individual is sometimes designated as the alpha-male. Males, females, or both, can be alpha-males, depending

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24.

25.

26. 27.

on the species. Alpha-males may achieve their status by superior physical strength and aggression, or through social efforts and building alliances within the group, or more often, simply by breeding and being the parent of all in their pack. This ethological ranking is also used in psychology referring to aggressive, assertive behaviour which leads to and confirms positions of power. On the ethological aspect see de Waal ([1982] 2017). ‘A nudge, as we will use the term, is any aspect of the choice architecture that alters people’s behaviour in a predictable way without forbidding any options or significantly changing their economic incentives’ (Thaler 2008). This happens because, as Ibarra (2015) says: ‘the paradox of change is that the only way to alter the way we think, is by doing the very things our habitual thinking keeps us from doing’. See ‘Education and The Cult of efficiency’ (Callahan 1962). Also interesting in this context ‘The Relationship School’ (Brooks 2012). For an entertaining blog post on rewiring the brain for happiness see Barker (2019).

References Aknin, L., B., Hanniball, K. B., & Dylan Wiwad, D. (2018, April) Buying Wellbeing: Spending Behavior and Happiness. Social and Personality Psychological Compass, 12(1), e12386. Anderson, R. (2017). Friedrich Nietzsche. The Stanford Encyclopaedia of Philosophy. https://plato.stanford.edu/cgi-bin/encyclopedia/archinfo. cgi?entry=nietzsche. Ashar, Y. K., Andrews-Hanna, J. R., Dimidjian, S., & Wager, T. D. (2016). Toward a Neuroscience of Compassion: A Brain Systems-based Model and Research Agenda. In J. D. Greene, I. Morrison, & M. E. P. Seligman (Eds.), Positive Neuroscience (pp. 125–142). New York: Oxford University Press. Bagner, D. M., Rodríguez, G. M., Blake, C. A., Linares, D., & Carter, A. S. (2012). Assessment of Behavioural and Emotional Problems in Infancy: A Systematic Review. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 15(2), 113– 128. Barker, E (2019, August). This Is How to Rewire Your Brain for Happiness: 4 Secrets from Research. Baumeister, R., Vohs, K., Aaker, J., & Garbinsky, E. (2012, October). Some Key Differences Between a Happy Life and a Meaningful Life. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 8(6), 505–516. Beck, A (2012). Aaron Beck on Cognitive Therapy. Psychotherapy.net.

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Ben-Ami Bartal, I., Decety, J., & Mason, P. (2011). Empathy and Pro-social Behavior in Rats. Science, 334(6061), 1427–1430 (New York, NY). Brooks, D. (2012, August). The Relationship School. New York Times. Callahan, R. (1962). Education and the Cult of efficiency. Chicago and London: University of Chicago Press. Cambridge Academic Content Dictionary © Cambridge University Press on compassion. Retrieved February 2020. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/ dictionary/english/compassion. Csikszentmihályi, M. (1975; most recent edition 1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Manhattan: Harper & Row. Cuddy, A. (2012, June). Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are. TED Talk. Retrieved 6 July 2019. Cuddy, A. (2015). Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. New York: Little, Brown. Darwin, C. (1872). The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals. London: John Murray. de Waal, F. ([1982] 2007). Chimpanzee Politics: Power and Sex Among Apes (25th Anniversary ed.). Baltimore, MD: JHU Press. Dhaliwal, G. (2011). Going with Your Gut. Journal of General Internal Medicine, 26(2), 107–109. Diener, E., Lucas, R. E., & Oishi, S. (2002). Subjective Well-being: The Science of Happiness and Life Satisfaction. In C. R. Snyder & S. Lopez (Eds.), Handbook of Positive Psychology (pp. 463–473). London: Oxford University Press. Dixon, A. (2008, December). Sick with Happiness. Greater Good Magazine. Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science. New York: Penguin Books. Doidge, N. (2015). The Brain’s Way of Healing: Remarkable Discoveries and Recoveries from the Frontiers of Neuroplasticity. New York, NY: Viking Press. Dunn, E., Aknin, L. B., & Norton, M. I. (2011). Prosocial Spending and Happiness: Using Money to Benefit Others Pays Off. Digital Access to Scholarship at Harvard (DASH). Easterly, W. (2007). The White Man’s Burden: Why the West’s Efforts to Aid the Rest Have Done So Much Ill and So Little Good. Penguin Books; Reprint edition. Easterly, W. (2014). The Tyranny of Experts: Economists, Dictators, and the Forgotten Rights of the Poor. New York: Basic Books. Einstein, A. On Best Quotations. https://best-quotations.com/catquotes.php? categ=1102. Elsesser, K. (2018, April). Power Posing Is Back: Amy Cuddy Successfully Refutes Criticism. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2018/

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04/03/power-posing-is-back-amy-cuddy-successfully-refutes-criticism/# 6261c6213b8e. Festinger, L. (1957). A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance. California: Stanford University Press. Flew, A. (1979). A Dictionary of Philosophy (p. 134). London: Pan Books in association with Macmillan Press. Fliesler, N. (2017, July). Decoding Brain Evolution. New Center Asks: What Genetic Changes Gave Us the Human Brain? Harvard Medical School. https://hms.harvard.edu/news/decoding-brain-evolution. Frankl, V. (1959). Men’s Search for Meaning. ISBN 9780807014295. Galinsky, A. (2011). How You Can Become More Powerful by Literally Standing Tall. Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. New York: Bantam Books. Gordon, J. S. (2008). Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey Out of Depression. London: Penguin Press. Harvard Study of Adult Development. (2017). http://www. adultdevelopmentstudy.org/. Hatfield, E. (1994). Passionate and Companionable Love. www.elainhatfield.com. Hollon, S. D., & Beck, A. T. (1979). Cognitive Behavioral Interventions: Theory, Research and Procedures. In E. C. Kendall & S. D. Hollon (Eds.), Cognitive Therapy of Depression (pp. 153–201). New York: Academic Press. Ibarra, H. (2015, February). Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader. Boston: Harvard Business Review Press. Irani, A. S. (2018). Positive Altruism: Helping That Benefits Both the Recipient and Giver. Master of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP). Capstone Projects. University of Pennsylvania. Jones, L. G., & Buckley, J. (Eds.). (1997). Spirituality and Social Embodiment. Oxford: Blackwell. Joseph, S. (2019). Authentic: How to Be Yourself and Why It Matters. London: Little, Brown. Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Kahneman, D., & Deaton, A. (2010, Sept). Does Money Buy Happiness? A Brief Summary of “High Income Improves Evaluation of Life But Not Emotional Well Being” PNAS Early Edition. Kashdan, T. B., & Biswas-Diener, R. L. (2008, October). Reconsidering Happiness: The Costs of Distinguishing Between Hedonics and Eudaimonia. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 3(4), 219–233. Kauffman, B. (2015). The Myth of the Alpha Male. Greater Good. Berkeley. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_myth_of_the_alpha_ male.

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Kauffman, S. B. (2016). The Differences Between Happiness and Meaning in Life. Retrieved from https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/ the-differences-between-happiness-and-meaning-in-life/. Keltner, D. (2008). Born to Be Good. New York and London: W. W Norton. Knowles, M. S. (1970). The Modern Practice of Adult Education: Andragogy Versus Pedagogy. New York: Association Press. Koestner, R., Zuckerman, M., & Koestner, J. (1987). Praise, Involvement, and Intrinsic Motivation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 53(2), 383– 390. Konrath, S., Fuhrel-Forbis, A., Lou, A., & Brown, S. (2012). Motives for Volunteering Are Associated with Mortality Risk in Older Adults. Health Psychology, 31(1), 87–96. Lambert, N. M., Stillman, T. F., & Hicks, J. H. (2013). To Belong Is to Matter: Sense of Belonging Enhances Meaning in Life. Sage. Layous, K., Nelson, K. S., Oberle, E., Schonert-Reichl, K. A., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2012). Kindness Counts: Prompting Prosocial Behavior in Preadolescents Boosts Peer Acceptance and Well-Being. PLoS One, 7 (12), e51380. Lehman, D., O’Connor, K., & Carroll, G. (2019). Acting on Authenticity: Individual Interpretations and Behavioural Responses. Review of General Psychology, 23(1), 19–31. Lehrer, J. (2010). How We Decide. Boston: Mariner Books and Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Leliveld, M. C., & Risselada, H. (2017). Dynamics in Charity Donation Decisions: Insights from a Large Longitudinal Data Set. Science advances, 3(9), e1700077. https://doi.org/10.1126/sciadv.1700077. Lerner, J. S., Li, Y., Valdesolo, P., & Kassam, K. S. (2015). Emotion and Decision Making. Annual Review of Psychology, 66, 799–823. Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). The How of Happiness. New York: Penguin Books. Masland, R. H., Albright, T. D., & Gardner, E. P. (Eds.). (2008). The Senses: A Comprehensive Reference. Reference Work. Science Direct. Maslow, A. H. (1943). A Theory of Human Motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370–396. In 1970, shortly before his death Maslow added an additional dimension, on top of the pyramid, which is Self-transcendence. McKay, D., & Tryon, W. (2017). In Reference Module in Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Psychology. Mehrabian, A., & Wiener, M. (1967). Decoding of Inconsistent Communications. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 6(1), 109–114. Mill, J. S. (1859). On Liberty. Mineo, L. (2017). Good Genes Are Nice, But Joy Is Better. Harvard Gazette. Moore, D. W., Bhadelia, R. A., Billings, R. L., Fulwiler, C., Heilman, K. M., Rood, K. M. J., & Gansler, D. A. (2009). Hemispheric Connectivity and

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the Visual–Spatial Divergent-Thinking Component of Creativity. Brain and Cognition, 70(3), 267–272. Newman, G. (2019). The Psychology of Authenticity. Review of General Psychology, 23(1), 8–18. Newman, G. E., & Smith, R. K. (2016). Kinds of Authenticity. Philosophy Compass, 11, 609–618. Nowak, M. (2011). SuperCooperators. New York: Barnes & Noble. Perry, P. (2018, February). Searching for Meaning in Your Life? This Japanese Concept Can Help You Find It. Big Think. Picket, K., & Wilkinson, R. (2009). The Spirit Level: Why More Equal Societies Almost Always Do Better. London: Allen Lane. Robertson, I. (2012). The Winner Effect. New York: Bloomsbury Publisher. Russell, J. A., & Barrett, F. L. (1999). Core Affect, Prototypical Emotional Episodes, and Other Things Called Emotion: Dissecting the Elephant. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 6(5), 805–819. Santi, J. (2017, August). The Secret to Happiness Is Helping Others. Times. Schaub, H. (1997). Sunk Costs, Rationalität und ökonomische Theorie. Stuttgart: Schäffer Poeschel. Seppälä, E. (2013). Compassion: Our First Instinct. https://www. psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201306/compassion-our-firstinstinct. Seppälä, E. (2016). The Happiness Track. New York: HarperCollins. Simmons, J. P. (2016). Power Posing: P-Curving the Evidence. Psychological Science, 28(5), 687–693 (Data Colada). Simpson, E. H, & Balsam, P. (2016, October). The Behavioural Neuroscience of Motivation: An Overview of Concepts, Measures, and Translational Applications. Current Topics in Behavioural Neurosciences, 27, 1–12 (PMC). Sober, E., & Wilson, D. S. (1998). Unto Others: The Evolution and Psychology of Unselfish Behavior. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press. Spiegel, D. (2012). Mind Matters in Cancer Survival. Psychosocial Oncology, 21(6), 588–593. Staw, B. M., & Ross, J. (1987a). Behaviour in Escalation Situations: Antecedents, Prototypes, and Solutions. Research in Organizational Behaviour, 9, 39–78. Staw, B. M., & Ross, J. (1987b, March). Knowing When to Pull the Plug. Harvard Business Review. Stiles, J., & Jernigan, T. L. (2010). The Basics of Brain Development. Neuropsychology Review, 20, 327–348. Svetlova, M., Nichols, S. R., & Brownell, C. A. (2010). Toddlers’ Prosocial Behaviour: From Instrumental to Empathic to Altruistic Helping. Child Development, 81(6), 1814–1827. Thaler, R. (2008). Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness. New York: Penguin Books.

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Vaillant, G. (2002). Aging Well. Boston: Little, Brown. Van der Linden. (2011, October) The Helper’s High. Odewire. Veenstra, L., Schneider, I., & Koole, S. (2017). Embodied Mood Regulation: The Impact of Body Posture on Mood Recovery, Negative Thoughts, and Mood-Congruent Recall. Cognition and Emotion, 31, 7. Verywell Health. (2020, February). Longevity of Okinawans and Healthy Aging in Blue Zones. https://www.verywellhealth.com/the-okinawans-key-tohealthy-aging-2223603. Vianello, M., Galliani, E. M., & Haidt, J. (2010). Elevation at Work: The Effects of Leaders’ Moral Excellence. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 5(5), 390– 411. Wong, P. (2015, August). A Decade of Meaning: Past, Present, and Future. Meaning Therapy, Positive Psychology. https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/ beautiful-minds/the-differences-between-happiness-and-meaning-in-life/. World Happiness Report. (2019, March 20). Retrieved from https:// worldhappiness.report/.

CHAPTER 3

Human Behaviour and Humanitarian Work

Abstract This chapter illustrates parallels and similarities between the interplay that links and shapes the four internal dimensions, and the interaction between individuals (micro-level), their close environment, including the institutions they work in (meso), society (macro) and the planet (meta). This perspective is applied to the working of humanitarian organizations with an overview of options for using this logic to optimize the full potential that is inherent to the mandate of these institutions. It is shown how the proposed paradigm shift can be started, expanded and maintained, from individuals to institutions and vice versa. The outline of Compassion for Change (C4C) proposes a concrete way for using the paradigm-shift that this book is based up to transform the internal culture of humanitarian and development organizations in order to reanimate and expand their external influence. Keywords Non-profit (NGO) · United Nations (UN) · Institution · Culture change · Impact · Motivation · Staff

Introduction The world is a mirror that reflects, through the image of others, what we have inside us. This happens in our personal as much as in our professional environment. Every person we meet is a messenger; who carries © The Author(s) 2020 C. C. Walther, Humanitarian Work, Social Change, and Human Behavior, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-45878-2_3

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unknowingly something that may be for us, a piece of advice, a new perspective, a warning; or they may be an intermediary who represents a bridge to someone else. Some people come and leave our path, others walk with us a couple of steps, and yet others come to stay. Each of us fills this same triple role, of messenger, connector, and companion, in the relationships with others. Everything is complementary and connected. Sometimes the events that jot our lifeline seem like random occurrences; and yet, looking back a line emerges that brings order into apparent chaos. Whoever we are at present is the intermediate result of a constant evolution. The four dimensions offer a pragmatic framework to look at our journey so far to identify what worked and what did not, what matters and what does not; and to distill what needs our attention now to move forward. ∗ ∗ ∗ Looking back over the past years of my life it appears that various transitions occurred along the road; and though each impacted all four dimensions, every one of them can be tied to one dimension in particular. My emotional ‘schooling’ is the result of encounters with people, whose behaviour showed me first-hand how I wanted to be, or not. The biggest impact derives from those who made me not only see but feel what ‘being kind’ means. Over the extent of my career, I have been very lucky with the supervisors I worked for. My first supervisor was kind, warm-hearted, and passionate about everything; working, living, and loving from the bottom of his heart. He was the type of person who every aspiring humanitarian should have as a champion and mentor, at least for the bumpy stretch at the beginning. Working with him was an essential start-up capital, allowing me to develop a basic minimum of self-confidence, which as it turned out would be direly needed. The subsequent supervisors were more challenging, due to personalities and approaches that were very different from my own. Nevertheless, each of these ‘guides’ taught me something; either by using a type of management to learn from or by illustrating the opposite, hereby sensitizing me to the consequences first-hand; showing me what I did not want to become. On the physical level it entailed the gradual transition to a vegan whole food diet that minimizes the consequences of consuming animal products.

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I will not go here into a diatribe for or against one dietary orientation or another, nor will I pretend that it is easy to renounce on a type of food whose taste and texture you have grown up with. For many years I have been on and off; shifting back and forth between vegan, vegetarian, and omnivore; finding myself, even after years without meat, give in to the craving for chicken or fish. Until the moment when I decided to make a choice between taste buds and values. The need for internal coherence had moved higher up the scale than my innate desire for flavour, habit, and comfort. Combined with the realization of how inefficient it is to take the lives of other beings to make our own tastier, that did the trick. Unfortunately, I still have not reached the stage where the sight of seafood does not leave me with nostalgia; but withstanding appetite is manageable. Seeing the ever-growing range of vegan alternatives makes it easy.1 On the aspirational level, the way in which I approached the need for meaning has taken various shapes over the years. Though it is an ongoing expedition, four shifts can be singled out so far. I started with the ardent desire to be an actor. Not because of the fame and fortune that supposedly goes with it, but with the (just as delirious) intention of showing on stage how the world could be; making spectators rethink the way they experienced their daily routine. Realizing that I was not ready to reside in a glasshouse of pretended reality, doing what others instructed me to do for the rest of my career, I moved on to become a lawyer. Thinking that this would put me in a position to conceive regulations aimed at helping those who cannot help themselves, by at least putting the law on their side. After a couple of years, understanding that the law is only as powerful as the will of those who implement it, I left the sphere of theory, and Europe. Joining the ranks of the United Nations to work as a humanitarian worker to serve in crisis hotspots for almost two decades. Until I grasped that this institution, which I had considered as the centre of global social transformation, was paralyzed by its potential. I felt that despite the power that arose from its multilateral nature, the beauty that came from its multi-ethnicity, and the influence that derives from its mission, the institution was bound to underperform. Its magic is conditioned by the willingness of those who work within. (This dependency on the mind and mood of their staff, which may represent a liability at present, is the biggest asset that the organization has in the pursuit of its mandate, which is part of my motivation for this book.) Finally, and this is for the time being the last stage of transition, I sought to institutionalize

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POZE. Contemplating possible constellations, from NGO to foundation it took me a while until I realized the paradox. That such a set-up would directly contradict the paradigm shift that it was meant to promote. Institutionalizing an idea, a vision, exposes it to the inherent danger of institutions—human nature. As you may have noticed from the previous pages the most distinctive feature of the proposed logic is the holistic inclusivity that underpins it. Creating (yet another) non-governmental entity to promote and manage this philosophy, means exposing it consciously to the bulit-in risks of any entity. All too often I had seen organizations that were supposed to be a means to an end, a tool to accomplish a mission, become an end unto themselves. Driven by an ever vaster, sophisticated machinery to feed themselves. And yet here I was, about to step into the same trap. Then I stopped. Now I take it one step at a time. Focussing less on abstract ambitions, and more on concrete changes. Hoping to help people in small ways to move forward on their journey to happiness, because of their own resources.2 I no longer occupy a distinctive role, nor do I belong to an institution that sculpts my identity. At times this approach of mental free-diving is disorienting; and the warm glow of doing what I deeply believe in is replaced by an icy grip. Nevertheless, in a way, this navigation between certainty and floating, between freedom and loneliness is helpful; educative. So far, each transitory stage involved the pain of letting go; sometimes sharp and acute, sometimes a numbness that sets in subtly and dissipates slowly. No matter how unpleasant though, eventually each perceived loss left in its wake more space to breathe. Shedding masks along the way, space opens for wings to unfold. In the past I craved control, for the future I need freedom. Might it be the same for you? ∗ ∗ ∗ Life is about choices, and sometimes one path excludes others. Being clear about desired outcome makes it easier to choose and accept the consequences, without regret. We are ruled by complementary antipodes which are situated along the same spectrum of our evolving existence. Cynicism and passion, indifference and compassion, hypocrisies and honesty, comfort and creativity are part of the same whole. We are simultaneously at risk of one while the other one is within reach. By shaping our expectations (internal), these antipodes impact our experience (internal impression of the external), and hereby our expressions (external re-action). As we see below, this

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has implications for the actual and potential functioning of humanitarian and developmental organizations—for better and for worse.

3.1

Embodying the Talk of Transformation

The POZE paradigm is applied to the prevailing situation of the humanitarian sector, showing how organizations with an aspirational, truly inspiring mandate such as the United Nations and many humanitarian NGOs may lose influence and impact . Elements of reflection and rethinking are proposed, including areas for internal change to nurture the synchronization of institutional ambitions and individual staff attitude. Everything begins inside. In the same way in which aspirations are the determining factor of an individual’s existence, individuals are the driving force of institutions, and of society. Change in the visible sphere, be it the human body, or an institutional set-up, an organization, a school, a company, a village, or a country begins at the centre of that entity. Changing society, including the institutions that operate in it, depends on people; directly and indirectly. Fundamentally it is people who drive and nurture change, and who cultivate the status quo. People who transform themselves become part of a transformational dynamic in the institution that they are part of. Due to the gradually evolving collection of individuals the entity gradually evolves, changing in line with those people once a tipping point is passed and a critical mass of people reached (Gladwell 2000). Through their attitude and behaviour each person contributes to the emergence of a new collective culture. Because social norms, ‘the informal rules that govern behaviour in groups and societies’, are not permanent (Bicchieri 2016). Instead of focussing on the symptoms of something that has gone askew, be it disease or depression in the case of an individual, the misconduct or inefficiency of an institution, or poverty or violence in the case of a country, the question is to dig beneath the surface to the roots of the problem that is manifesting outside. Going down to the causes means to look at individual behaviour; and further down, to the thoughts, emotions and aspirations that underpin this physical manifestation of an attitude in the form of a re-action. Not in a one size fits all approach, but with a holistic logic, that combines the big picture perspective of eagles in the sky with the vision of ants on the floor. [Interestingly whatever appears we dislike in others, offers an entry-point to not just look

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closer to understand them better; their habits can also serve to understand ourselves better by zooming in on the dark spots that we would rather overlook; which maybe one reason why so many staff issues remain unearthed.]. The trick is to simultaneously pursue modifications at microand meso-level. Transformation that addresses both, the surface and the aspects underneath, benefits from the mutual influence that these two change dynamics have onto each other. Their parallel pursuit allows to organically nurture and scale transformation that matters and lasts. Budgets, programmes, rules, and regulations begin with mindsets. When a critical mass of players in an organization adopts a certain outlook on their life and work, this gradually impacts the overall drift of their employer. It is a domino dynamic which shifts the unspoken centre of gravity. When it comes to humanitarian and development organizations, whose justification to be is to make the world better, repositioning the centre of gravity at its original location involves space for staff to recentre personally. The most radical change process may not entail the addition of something new, but the revelation of something that has always been there. Innovation has become a buzz-word across sectors and industries, not sparing the humanitarian space. Yet while initiatives, projects, and departments with the innovation-label abound, the institutions that succeeded to create an innovation culture are rare. As seen earlier, cultures grow organically, and infusing the elements that are needed to influence that growth in the desired direction is challenging. This is particularly true when it comes to innovation, because of the inherent paradox that is involved. Innovative cultures are yet another illustration of the scale of apparent opposites which complement each other. Getting staff to think and act beyond boxes, while bringing back valuable results from that no man’s land of creativity, involves failure. Creativity is thus largely related to the balance of commitment, confidence, candour, and comfort. People must be committed to give their best (aspiration), feel emotionally safe, thus confident to dare (heart), accept and acquire honest feedback (mind); and they must evolve in an atmosphere that makes cooperation comfortable, natural (body). Put on the scale of complementarity, the four pairs appear: Commitment thrives on competence; Tolerance for failure requires intolerance for incompetence; Experimentation requires discipline; Comfort with collaboration is the counter-piece of

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individual accountability (Pisano 2019). Creating an institutional ecoenvironment where these components are not only punctually present but mainstreamed requires leadership, and a sense of purpose. At the centre of everything and everyone is the need for meaning. We crave a justification of our presence, of the contribution that we as individuals make. The aspiration of individual staff members to make a difference is a massive asset that is regularly undervalued, leading to low staff morale and institutions that fail to achieve their goals (Budd and Devashee 2008). Taken for granted, motivation tends to fade, drowned by bureaucracy, mediocrity, pressure, and stress. It is devastating for humanitarian organizations to miss out on the aspirational power of staff because it means to waste their greatest asset, the power to inspire and lead by example. Think about the mission statement of the United Nations, established in San Francisco on 26 June 1945. Just a few words from the preamble suffice to set the tone: ‘We, the peoples of this world, determined to save succeeding generations from the scourge of war, which twice in our lifetime has brought untold sorrow to mankind, and to reaffirm faith in fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human person, in the equal rights of men and women and of nations large and small, and to establish conditions under which justice and respect for the obligations arising from treaties and other sources of international law can be maintained, and to promote social progress and better standards of life in larger freedom, and for these aims to practise tolerance and live together in peace with one another as good neighbours, and to unite our strength to maintain international peace and security, and to ensure, by the acceptance of principles and the institution of methods, that armed force shall not be used, save in the common interest, and to employ international machinery for the promotion of the economic and social advancement of all peoples, […]’.3 What better foundation could an institution have than the aspiration to be an entity that moves the world for better? And yet, as large as its potential, are the doubts and critics that loom large, hovering like a dark cloud over the UN’s present and future. Many people inside the organization consider the prevailing insufficiencies as a result of bureaucracy, politics, institutional culture, and lack of funding; whereas external observers alternatively see the organization as a black box whose content and action are unclear, or as a massive operation that serves primarily those who are supposed to serve others.4 No matter how inspiring an organization’s mandate and mission statement, advocacy material and website are, if its

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staff is not authentic it will not connect with, and consequently influence, the public. What is amiss inside, internally to the institution and inside each staff, is mirrored by the external appearance of that institution. Employees who are disillusioned, cynical, and burned out, are not representative illustrations of the values and principles that their employer promotes. Consequently, ‘their’ organization preaches without practising. Thus, failing to fulfil both their individual and their collective potential of making a meaningful contribution to society. The entire organization fails to mobilize outsiders if those who represent it vis-à-vis the rest of the world are inauthentic; a cacophony of values, words, and behaviour. Prevented thus from touching the rest of humanity, those millions of citizens who must be on board in the effort of social change—the status quo is safe. Many attempts of reforming, resizing, reshaping the UN were made over the past decades; so far, failing to substantially transform the how and what of the prevailing operating model. Both parties, those who manage the organization, including representatives from different governments, and those who observe and influence it from the outside, like NGOs, private sector corporates, the media and individual citizens, have possibilities to amend the current course of action. Possibly, UN staff are the best placed to trigger the point of departure because they are familiar with the inner workings. Once initiated the process can then be nurtured and propelled by support and attention from outside. 2020 is special from several points of view. As these lines are written, the UN enters the 75th year of its existence, which coincides with large reforms initiated by its new UN Secretary General; also many large international NGOs are in a period of soul-searching. More and more leaders at all levels see that the system in place does not deliver as it could, and must. At the same time, COVID19 joins the list of gigantic challenges that have arisen since the prevailing humanitarian architecture was created. Among the many consequences of the Virus will be a reduction of international aid budgets as donor countries are struggling to fill gaps in their own territory. Aid bodies will have to achieve more with less. The question on the table is not about doing more, but to do things differently. A systemic review of the prevailing modus operandi is needed at all levels—from individuals to institutions, from economic conglomerations to planetary settings. 2020 is an opportunity to open a new chapter, and the humanitarian community must be ready to help write its content (Walther 2021b).

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This book does not dwell on the past; it proposes one small shift for the future, with the potential to shift the tide. Zooming in on the core of the centre, the aspiration of staff for meaning, may appear as simplistic, but is it not worth trying? A sincere attempt to reanimate the light inside, is low in financial implications. It does not entail large-scale communication campaigns with glossy brochures, gala events; nor high-level conferences in five-star hotels or at the UN General Assembly. It is an individual and collective initiative of swimming against the tide. When it comes to culture change the continuum of mind and matter can be a vicious or a virtuous cycle. Both internal and external, intellectual and physical aspects can serve as points of departure. Like aspiration and action; individuals and institutions are not only connected but parts of the same wholesomeness. Alterations of the status quo can be nurtured from multiple sides simultaneously and what happens in one sphere is beneficial in the others. Though the description in this chapter is targeting the UN the described dynamic holds true for all institutions that were created with the intent of contributing to the well-being of others, not the pocket of their shareholders5 (Fig. 3.1).6 3.1.1

Humanitarian Action

Institutions may have a triple impact when it comes to influence of behaviour: firstly, their external approach shapes public opinions; secondly their internal culture, rules, and regulations shape the attitude and action of their employees; lastly, their (overt and behind the scenes) advocacy contributes to political decision-making processes. Looking at humanitarian organizations in particular, this section concentrates on the second pillar, internal influence, which has direct implications for the impact that can be achieved in the first and third area. Reaching the public can be done with the ‘watering can logic’ of mass communication campaigns, national or regional policies, and social welfare schemes. However, sustainable social transformation requires not merely temporary triggers, but long-term exposure. As we have seen above, individual behaviour changes when a person’s aspirations, emotions, thoughts, and experiences are addressed simultaneously, over long periods of time. Institutions (i.e. meso-entities) offer a tangible entry point for change efforts because their structured set-up, including the relationships that they entertain with their employees, represents the possibility of such extended exposure. Thus, be it the private or the public

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Fig. 3.1 Everything is connected, from the inside out and the outside in. The individual is the smallest component of a global system and part of various communities, which result from biological, social, or professional constellations. Individuals and families/communities form society, within the contours of nation states, economies, and cultures. These three dimensions are part of Planet Earth, coexisting with nature. Whatever occurs in one dimension has consequences on the other ones. Individuals influence the communities they are part of, and hereby society, and the planet. Whereas changes in the environment impact the dynamics of society and the communities and individuals that it is made of (Source Author)

sector, international organizations or civil society, institutions influence society; directly and indirectly. The institution’s internal culture operates like a filter, between the inside and outside. Beyond their role as a conduit for changes in wider society, institutions provide a framework to nurture a certain mindset among the individuals that they are made up of. Because the mix of philosophy, creed, ambience,

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rules, values, and interpersonal relationships that individual employees are exposed to on a regular basis necessarily influences who they are and what they do. Intervening at the institutional level is therefore a pragmatic way to reach a large group of people in a certain sector in a coherent manner. To bring about change in the humanitarian sector thus starts with the individuals who work in it, by targeting them through their employer; while simultanously introducing administrative, structural and programmatic alterations in that institution. Horizontal and vertical dynamics nurture and propel each other. The Geneva Conventions represent a modernized consensus of principles that were already referred to for wartime conduct of Greek and Roman empires. The underpinning philosophies are diverse; ranging from religious beliefs such as the concept of Christian charity or the Islamic tradition of Zakat to ethical concepts of appropriate wartime conduct (Davey et al. 2013). Probably the most well-known origin story of formalized humanitarian aid is that of Henri Dunant, a businessman and social activist, who upon seeing the coldblooded abandonment of wounded soldiers during the Battle of Solferino in 1859, cancelled his plans and began a relief response for these soldiers. His book ‘Memory of Solferino’ prompted the creation of the Red Cross in 1863; one of the first true international aid organizations. The four basic principles that govern humanitarian aid as we know it today were formally established by the United Nations General Assembly in 1991 (humanity, impartiality, and neutrality) and 2004 (independence). After World War I, the Treaty of Versailles established the League of Nations, predecessor to the United Nations (UN); the first permanent international organization tasked with promoting social development, securing freedom, and maintaining peace. Right after the end of World War II the UN ratified the Universal Declaration of Human Rights; and multiple UN organizations such as UNICEF, the WHO and UN High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR, formerly IRO) were established. This period also saw a sudden and unprecedented growth of non-governmental organizations (NGOs), with over 200 organizations established in the four years immediately following the end of the war (Rysaback-Smith 2016). The French NGO Médecins Sans Frontières (Doctors without borders), which is seen by many as the archetype of compassionate humanitarian commitment, was founded in 1971, in response to the repercussions of the Biafra secession; it began with a small

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group of French doctors and journalists who sought to expand accessibility to medical care across national boundaries; irrespective of race, religion, creed, or political affiliation. The common thread that connects Dunant’s initiative, the intervention of the so-called ‘French Doctors’, the UN and the tradition of aid that has sprung from them, are their roots in the belief of a small group of individuals who did not accept the avoidable suffering of other individuals, of fellow human beings, as a given. In the French aid community, this spirit of activism has for several decades infused the operating model of both small and large organizations; examples are the NGOs Medecins du Monde, Médecins sans frontiers, Action contre la faim and Solidarités. Over the past decade, partially due to the rapid expansion of the aid sector, which has become a line of business, a drastic shift has occurred (Konyndyk 2018).7 Growing in staff and budget, facing not only ever more needs on the ground but also an ever more demanding and critical donor audience, NGOs all over the world ‘professionalized’ their operations, introducing results-based management approaches and quantifiable progress indicators. Monitoring, measurement and reporting obligations came hand in hand with an ever-increasing need for visibility; to be seen to have done has become a central preoccupation since it influences significantly the ability to mobilize money. Raising more money for more projects to deploy more people to respond to more needs has became an integral part of the business model; a condition of survival. In the light of the billions that flow into humanitarian operations every year8 the growing demand of donors for accountability and transparency seems justified. The collateral consequence of this obligation for quantification, the requirement for countable, tangible (and ideally photographable) proof of the added value of financial contributions has changed the atmosphere in many non-profit organizations and in the UN. Time is increasingly spent behind the computer, which takes away time that was previously spent on the ground, in direct contact with those whose presence justified the existence of these organizations in the first place. As many ‘old school’ humanitarians retire or quit, a new generation is entering the stage, coming with a different mindset and working style. There is no right or wrong in this. Possibly it is an unavoidable result of changes in the global landscape with shifting needs, expanding tools including new technologies, new players, and revolving agendas. The question is not to criticize, prevent, or even delay this transformation but to be conscious of its impact, internally and outside. Acute awareness of the status

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quo, which influences both the non-governmental scene and the United Nations is needed for a new chapter of international aid to begin. We need to bring back the human in humanitarianism. This requires honesty. Frank internal dialogue is a rare commodity in most aid organizations. A candid analysis of the prevailing modus operandi is perceived not merely as related to what people do, but who they are. If we cannot detach institutional inefficiency and looming irrelevance from the identity of the people that form that institution, then the level of honesty will remain minimal; and with it the level of humility. Identity and role-play, self-esteem and task-sets are twinsets, especially in the case of humanitarians. While detrimental in any context, clashes between personal and professional orientations are particularly painful in the arena of aid, which is by nature a place where individuals congregated with the motivation to help others; manifesting the best part of themselves.9 3.1.2

Individual and Institutional Purpose

The story of individuals and institutions is the age-old question of the chicken and the egg. Who was there first? Whenever something goes awry in an organization, no matter the sector, ‘institutional culture’ is quickly brought up as a reason. But is it the institution that leads people to adopt a certain mindset and behaviour pattern, or is it individuals who build and shape that institution? Maybe it is not an either-or question. Both evolve organically along a non-linear path, mutually fostering each other. Additional factors include the situation and prevailing behaviour in other institutions that belong to the same sector (Suntae et al. 2016). Everything being connected, one dimension simultaneously influences the other one and is influenced by them. But if everything is linked to everything else, and constantly being reshaped, how to begin? Looking at the conundrum of institutional reforms may feel like a plate of spaghetti, with no way to identify a loose noodle end to start twirling. Is the only way to step back and accept whatever happens? Are the connected circumstances too complex to come to grips with? Actually, rather than leading to fatalism, the understanding of interconnection is a source of pragmatic hope. Because it offers an entry point to get started. Rather than putting the fork aside this perspective allows to dig in and start turning at the bottom of the plate. Addressing the current situation of the humanitarian sector through a lens of micro-, meso-, macro- and meta-dimensionality, shifts the perspective radically. If we accept that individuals shape institutions, we are

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just one step away from acknowledging that individuals change institutions. This then leads us to the even more daring and obvious observation that if individuals change themselves, they automatically become part of a changing institutional dynamic. Like a stone that is thrown into the water sends out ever-widening circles on the surface, from the centre to the periphery. Taking a metaphor from technology, hardware depends on software and software depends on hardware. People shape culture, and culture shapes people; one step at a time. The possibility to relegate responsibility is unreal. No matter the institutional constellation we find ourselves in, we always retain the power of choice. Refraining from action is a choice in itself. Sitting down in the passenger seat, like a bystander who has no options but accept the prevailing dictum of management, is an expensive luxury. An unaffordable one when we are part of organizations whose justification to be is to make the world a better place. Watching inefficiency or chronic failure like a soap opera that unfolds around us is a deliberate choice. Doing nothing about an issue that we perceive as a problem makes us part of the problem. Our efforts for change may not yield the expected results, but that is no excuse from giving it our best shot. The larger an organization is the more difficult and overwhelming the task to trigger transformation appears to be. After all, if only ‘I’ change nothing will happen. I might run into trouble because pointing out the rogue elephants in the room that everyone else tiptoes carefully around is dangerous. But what is the alternative? To pursue business as usual in the awareness that the machine that I am part of is losing out on its potential; even though many of those around me feel the same lingering need for change. That we are all plodding on, pursuing the set course because our comfort zone is too cosy to pamper with. Because we do not believe that whatever we do will have any impact, we step away from the constantly lingering opportunity of trying. We look away from this potential like an ostrich that puts the head in the sand; wishfully thinking that the enemy that is not seen does not exist. But imagine the sadness to wake up one day and realize that it is too late to go back; of having had multiple opportunities, missing them all. Many onlookers are as unhappy with the status quo as those who are on the verge of action. Once one person comes out of their shell and gets started, those who think alike will dare to follow, one micro-step building onto each other. Being among the first is hard, not impossible. All of those who are ready to acknowledge the elephants and are discontent with

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their presence may be standby supporters, ready to join into a spiralling dynamic of change. And it is about time. The past decade has seen a wave of wake-up calls, from the Oxfam scandal involving sexual abuse of beneficiaries in Haiti (2010) to the reports mentioned in Chapter 1 relating to UN peacekeepers who mistreated local populations in the Central African Republic, Haiti, Afghanistan, and other places, the Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO), to recent internal reports by UNICEF, UN Women, and the World Food Programme (WFP) (2018/2019) on the prevalence of harassment, abuse of power, and discrimination among their staff. From policies of zero tolerance over internal taskforces to external audits many well-intentioned efforts were made over the past years.10 Every new report however puts a question mark behind the efficiency and effectiveness of these change initiatives. What do we need to acknowledge and openly accept that the system in place is ailing? What’s more, the spotlight on some cases of substantial abuse leaves many cases of small-scale chronic mismanagement in the dark. Cynicism, underperformance, demotivation are not crimes but open wounds that gradually begin to fester. As time goes by these low-intensity cases accumulate and sicken the organism. Damaged DNA equals a damaged system. In the long run an amassed occurrence of minor issues may cause as much harm as scandals that cause media frenzy. Internally they represent a fertile ground for worse things to happen in line with the broken window theory,11 externally they are draining the institution of its credibility, and thus of its power to inspire. It does not matter at which end of the intensity spectrum the recorded and unspoken cases of incorrect behaviour settle; they all show the same thing—individual misery. Many of those who are employed to help others are not able to help themselves, and in the process of plodding on with their work, fail to help those whom they are supposed to help; possibly even harming them unintendingly. With extremely very few exceptions those who set out to be aid workers or peacekeepers do so with the firm intention of helping other humans (moreover, they formally sign up to uphold the principle of causing no harm). These thousands of people who have been entering the humanitarian sector over the past years were, driven by the desire to make a difference in society. Call me naïve but I am convinced that the number of people who become aid workers with the aspiration to make the world better, fairer, happier, is immensely higher than the number of those rare

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cases who join with the goal of creating a prosperous career with a fat pay cheque and a splendid reputation. Something happens along the way that pushes some people off the chosen track. Rarely it is a sudden event, rather a slow drifting away from the aspiration that once served as a firm compass. A subtle unnoticeable evolution that seeps into the daily routine; little actions that turn into habits. Until one day the person wakes up and looks into an abyss, which separates the person they once were from their present-day persona. Maybe they still remember how and what they aspired to become. But that ideal has moved too far away to serve as their anchor now. What happened along the way? What is it that affects men and women alike, independent of nationality, education, paygrade, and culture?

3.2

Implications

Human behaviour is underpinned by intentions and motivations. The Why ( aspiration) underneath is mirrored by the What and How that manifests in thoughts and actions. Finding or losing meaning in work and life thus has direct implications on the meso-environments that we belong to; be it our family or an institution. The result is only partly influenced by formal rules and roles. 3.2.1

Roots, Rules, and Roles

Each staff member comes with a set of beliefs and attitudes which led them to pursue this line of work, possibly leading them to apply for the position they are in now. They have a personality and skill set that led to their recruitment in the first place. Every individual staff is a micro-verse whose expressions and experiences are influenced by the four dimensions that make them who they are. Furthermore, each of them is shaped by previous experiences outside the organization, and they keep on evolving with the experiences and expressions of that person, inside the organization and outside, for the rest of their lives. This collection of individuals, of unique and evolving micro-verses, acts in a certain way in reaction to the overall set-up of the organization. Depending on the needs experienced by the organization and the rules that are put in place or abolished, changes are facilitated or prevented. It is a continuing series of interpersonal ‘chemical’ reactions. If all goes well, this ongoing organic development is conducive to the organizations mandate. The people who work inside get satisfaction from their work and invest the full extent of their skills and energy in the fulfilment of their tasks; supporting their employer

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to their best ability, which leads the latter to make strides in the pursuit of its goals outside. Challenges arise when things turn sour. When the settings in place, be they formal or informal, are conducive to harmful behaviours; when harassment, careerism, and cynicism are condoned; when staff walk the way of least resistance, following the draw of comfort, peer or supervisor pressure. When people grow too attached to their privileges. Drawn into their personal agenda and scope of work, they tend to miss discrepancies between their work and the world that they are supposed to serve. Change is due when programmes that are designed initially to help others, drop out of synch with reality; while those who promote them are too busy with this promotion to notice that the needs and means have changed. Change is overdue when individuals feel that their professional activities and their personal aspirations are out of synch; when they realize what outside observers have already pointed out. Observing others follow a certain behaviour pattern, leads us to adjust in order to fit in; this may be a conscious shift of behaviour or a gradual subconscious mental alteration. In the case of high work standards and tangible moral expectations newcomers feel compelled to raise their personal bar. Unfortunately, the same principle of fitting the glove applies when standards and morale are low (Damianus 2018). Organizations are made up of people, and people are shaped by the organizations they spend their time in. Institutions evolve along the same dynamic that was described above concerning individuals, from the inside out, to then be nurtured from the outside in. Established organizations have a mandate which is enshrined in their mission statement. They have rules in place to nurture or prevent certain behaviours. As time goes by the institutional culture grows organically as a result of the institutional mission, contractual circumstances which attract certain personality types, recruitment processes which target and retain certain candidates and not others, and external factors such as donor desires and sector-wide practices. Multiple small and large factors are at play; but when it comes to culture the list can be narrowed down to four determining aspects—human nature, individual aspirations, group dynamics and institutional set-up. While the first cannot be changed it can be understood, addressed, and influenced; the others are a consequence of human nature and social interactions which can be identified, mapped, and systematically addressed.

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This process of awareness, assessment, and action is at reach for any institution that is willing to acknowledge that something is missing, and is ready to dig underneath the surface of their own image. Every meso-system that we belong to, from workplace to family, comes with a number of stakeholders who have expectations of us. These expectations pertain to our role/s in that context and the task-sets that derive from them (Heise et al. 2015). These groupings may be formal or informal, reasonable or not. Roles can serve as a useful grid, helping us relate to others in the system. However, when we invest everything that we are into one single role it becomes more than a role; gradually morphing into our identity. This is especially true for individuals whose job evolves on a 24h on-call basis; as it is the case for many social workers and staff on the ground in non-profit organizations, especially in humanitarian scenarios; but also, for managers whose responsibilities make them (feel) indispensable. Eventually the role eats up the person, taking along the personality that s/he had initially aspired to. If awareness of this swing from reality to role-play comes too late an alternative path seems no longer accessible. Like an actor who always played the youthful hero finds himself out of demand when wrinkles, sagging muscles, and grey hair no longer permit the illusion of youth and sex appeal. When our present-day experience stands not only in sharp contrast to our aspirations, but when our horizon has shrunk so much that we cannot envision a different play or a new role for the future; then disillusionment turns to despair, which ultimately becomes cynicism. Zooming out to look in regular intervals at the bigger picture that our roles and responsibilities are part of, helps to identify unfavourable dynamics and our place inside them. It can be rewarding to attach everything that we are and do, want and can be to one role. But just like betting every cent on one horse entails the risk of complete loss, focusing one’s energy on just one mesodimension comes with the risk of losing out; Starting with the disconnection of what we do and who we are, we eventually lose sight of who we want to be. Learning to differentiate our roles from our self is critical (O’Brien 2019), especially when we are part of a humanitarian endeavour. Remaining aware of the different dimensions of our personality, from physical over mental to emotional and aspirational is just as vital as is a holistic understanding of the interplay that shapes the many roles that we occupy. Putting things, and who we presently are, into perspective allows us to be calm when things heat up in the short run and serves in the long run to consciously influence our becoming.

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Institutional cultures grow gradually. In the same way in which kindness eventually colours an environment bright; dark shadows arise organically, one crossed ethical line after the other. The interplay of mind and matter, of body and heart, of inside and outside influences how individuals feel, and by consequence express themselves, which in turn influences how they experience their environment, and are experienced by those around them. In addition to the aspects looked at above, three individual behaviours are worth mentioning here as particularly corrosive in the context of non-profit cultures: omnipotence, numbness, and justified neglect (Wedell-Wedellsborg 2019). Omnipotence is when a person believes the rules of decent behaviour do not apply to them. A direct correlation has been discovered between the perception that people have of their own power and leniency towards their own rule breaking. Both increase simultaneously. Research shows that individuals who hold power are more likely to show so-called alpha-male behaviour, including assertiveness, aggression and domination, which come with feelings of impatience and anger.12 Conversely, people with alpha-male behaviour (which occurs in males and females alike) tend to be or remain in positions of power, which is helped by the fact that their conscious rule breaking often equips them in the eyes of observes with an aura of power, which further strengthens their position (van Kleef et al. 2011). It is yet another illustration of the link between body and mind, experience and expression, because aside from certain genetic and educational aspects favouring alpha-male behaviour, a rise of the hormone testosterone represents a significant factor. Alpha-male behaviour can be triggered intentionally; either artificially with the stimulation of certain brain circuits; or by applying the age-old piece of wisdom we encountered earlier: ‘fake it til you make it’. When the thus induced assertive behaviour results in a win, the so-called ‘winner effect’ enforces the emulated behaviour; and with each repetition the involved synaptic connections in the brain get more permanent. As seen in Chapter 2, the brain influences behaviour, and behaviour influences the brain. Cultural numbness occurs when staff witness unethical behaviour and go along with it. Gradually, perceptions related to this type of deviance morph from being acknowledged and frowned upon as an exception to being condoned, to being accepted as normal for oneself and others. Once one window is broken, other broken windows become tolerable turn into an unwritten new. Wind blows where air gets in. The third element is justified neglect which flourishes when people do not speak up about ethical cracks, due

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to fear of the uncomfortable consequences that may result from it. Consciously drawing the lines that one is not willing to cross, especially when it is done in public, makes it easier to stay behind them. Such ‘Contracting’ with oneself and/or as a team is a straightforward way to proactively remediate (at least) these three behaviour patterns. The alternative is walking the way of least resistance in the form of chosen blindness. 3.2.2

Meaning-Making and Role-Plays

Few would dispute the beauty of organizations whose mandate it is to eliminate hunger, disease, or illiteracy; whose reason to exist is to support those who lost everything or were born in poverty. It is both a privilege and a joy to be part of an entity, be it small or gigantic, that places its resources, scope and effort behind the objective to make the world happier, less unequal, brighter. Despite or because of this high-reaching ambition, one may feel uneasy being part of such an entity. Queasiness ensues when the organization is not enacting the values that it stands for; and if by being part of that organization one contributes, actively and passively, to a continuation of the status quo. Without doing anything ‘wrong’, eventually nothing feels right either. It is not a question of black or white judgements, rather a lingering discomfort that is nagging inside. The result of lived inauthenticity. Inspiring institutions depend on the synchronization of individual and institutional purpose, or at least a gradually progressing harmonization of those two dimensions. Clashes can occur at three stages. Three real-world cases (renamed for privacy considerations) based on my own experience and conversations with friends and colleagues, both at the UN and in the NGO arena, may serve as examples. A. The staff member does not feel the mandate of their employer is in line with their own personal life purpose. Agnes is a passionate Vegan whose main desire is to convince everyone to eliminate animal products from their diet; she works for a company that promotes fair trade milk and meat consumption. Despite her attractive salary, Agnes’ best way of action is to exit. Too big is the misalignment between her vision and the one of her employer. B. Staff at all levels follow a soulless routine, driven primarily by career interests. Benedict cares personally about his employers’ mission, and although he gives his best in his area of specialization the

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behaviour of his colleagues weighs on his mood and motivation. He has three options—keep on doing what he does, satisfied by his personal performance, career moves, and entitlements; or quit; or he can proactively seek to influence those in his immediate vicinity; gradually expanding his influence on his colleagues he may eventually succeed to impact the institutional atmosphere. C. Staff at all levels seem to be passionately involved in the institutional cause; but something is missing. Carsten has been working with his current organization for many years, and although he cares deeply about its mission, and has also experienced the positive outcome of their work in the field, he feels empty inside. He performs his job, with the creepy sentiment that it is inefficient; questioning himself ever more often regarding the actual impact of the machine that he is part of. He also has three options—go on, alternatively chewing on his thoughts and anaesthetizing them with excessive sport, alcohol, food, parties, etc., or quit; or he can proactively bring his questions out in the public space of conversation in his workplace. Scenario C is the least straightforward of the three, let us look at it a bit closer. Should Carsten go for the third option? If he does his cause will benefit if he starts by dedicating time for himself first—to reconnect with his personal purpose. He must unearth what initially motivated him to join a non-profit organization. Unless he is grounded in his personal passion, and in synch with himself, he will not exert the influence he could have on those whom he will reach out to. Others will be persuaded to rethink their own experiences and expressions only if his expressions are driven by genuine passion. If he shows honesty with himself and the institution he is part of. His chances to find open ears and hearts are better than 50 percent; because if he feels that his organization does not practise what it preaches, others may feel the same way. Once they see one person who dares to speak up from a place of purpose—instead of merely bemoaning the status quo, likeminded supporters emerge out of nowhere. Change begins with one person, with one conversation. It is a spiral dynamic that begins at the small shiny dot in the centre; radiating out in widening circles. If Carsten gives his best and feels no impact, maybe due to the heavy machinery he is part of, maybe because he is not ready to speak up louder, then he once again has two choices—stay and prod on or face the limitations of his comfort zone. Even if he likes his present work, not believing in the added

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value of his daily activities and feeling powerless to transform the situation, may be enough to justify a clear exit. Once he is centred in purpose, honest with himself and his circumstances, the course of action will unfold naturally. ∗ ∗ ∗ In the end, no matter which sector you work for and which institution you evolve in—the only valid parameter is your inner compass. Would you do what you are doing if you were not paid for it?

∗ ∗ ∗ Feelings follow thoughts which shape experiences, whereas experiences influence thoughts which influence feelings which trigger behaviour. Thus, beginning from the inside of individuals, with the aspirations that brought them initially to join a certain institution is a good place to start. Purpose-orientation is a strong driver, potentially steering individuals to put their best self at the service of the institution. However, if that quest for meaning is neglected or taken for granted, making the person feel that their energy is spent on something that is futile, frustration and eventually disillusionment set in, not only with the mandate of their employer, but worse, with themselves. Compassion fatigue and, eventually, burnout are common consequences in the social sector (Conrad and Kellar-Guenther 2006). What once was a propeller turns to a heavy anchor that drags the individual down. If the current system leads to the rise of staff who feel disconnected and demotivated, then introspection and deriving from it, change is needed. Avoiding focus by hiding behind idealistic principles and aspirational mission statements that give the halo of ‘doing good’ is no option. That the humanitarian sector began with humanity, neutrality, impartiality, and independence does not protect today’s aid workers from falling prey to their own human nature; including inertia, greed, and numbness. Reactivating the power to influence and inspire the wider public, requires honest insight; by each staff member, from the bottom up, and top down. Acknowledging the status quo, including a candid assessment of one’s individual added value and lack thereof is unpleasant, and indispensable.

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The humility that results from introspection (which is different from selfflagellation) opens the door to personal and collective compassion, both are indispensable for genuine interpersonal connections, for being human. While altering bureaucratic processes and organizational structures is time-consuming and costly, focussing on individual staff behaviour is a simpler, less expensive, and faster way to get started. The conscious return to passion is not only crucial, it is a pragmatic and tangible remedy to overcome unsatisfactory institutional performance. Systematically investing in programmes that help staff become aware of the four dimensions that make them who they are and help them reconnect with the personal compass that underpins them, is central for organizations that have identified gaps between the philosophy that is attached to their mission, and the behaviour of their staff. Examples of the successful implementation of variations of the Compassion for Change approach that will be discussed in more detail in Sect. 3.3 include two initiatives that were launched in Haiti over the past years.

3.3 Compassion for Change. A Practical Proposition to Reshape Social Organizations Humanitarian and development organizations must practise what they preach. Those whose mandate it is to make the world a better place must embody their mission values, individually and collectively, internally and externally. This goes beyond action to attitude. What follows in this section is the short outline of an approach that has been tested and used in selected non-governmental organizations , both internal and national entities, as well as in parts of the UN . Though it focusses on the aid community its aim of reigniting passion and purpose orientation in institutions is equally valid for the public and private sector. Building an aid organization that is worthy of its mission statement depends on individual and collective passion and compassion, involving every single staff member. The POZE approach challenges the status quo belief that bureaucracy prevents staff from living up to their values in everyday work life through a set of exercises labelled Compassion for Change (C4C). Squarely based on the four-dimensional dynamic of POZE, Compassion for Change, reignites passion in social organizations, no matter their

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size or scope, affecting both individual and collective levels. The objective is to nurture a sense of purpose, belonging, and overall well-being. It is geared to everyone, from frontline field workers to headquarter staff, from office clerk to programme manager, because internal renewal support is conditioned by active top-down and bottom-up involvement. Whether in the context of humanitarian action, development, peacebuilding or local social associations, the aim is to reconnect staff with their personal aspirations, and to connect them through these aspirations with the mission of their employer. The individual ability to experience compassion for oneself is the steppingstone to compassion for colleagues and for those who are targeted by the organization’s aid efforts. To effectively help others, employees must be able to help themselves; thus, Compassion for Change zooms in on the roots of compassion. It helps staff look without blinds at the triggers that did underpin their transition from compassion with the suffering of others, to a mindset of ever expanding demotivation. Compassion for Change makes space for honest insight, a candid 360 degree sightseeing of the status quo, and visionary foresight. It releases energy for personal and collective fulfilment. Why? Being immersed in an undisrupted stream of ‘doing’ prevents us simultanously from awareness of the situation that we are in, while blocking strategic thinking of the situation that we want. Keeping the mind constantly busy thus has two implications—it jeopardizes holistic big picture perspectives; and it puts uncomfortable thoughts and feelings aside, under the carpet, to be dealt with ‘another time’. Since that time rarely comes stuff accumulates under the carpet. Rather than questioning the Why of our work, we get drawn into the hamster wheel of What. We concentrate on never-ending to-do lists which offer temporary mental comfort when items are checked-off. A transient feeling of importance is superseded by emptiness upon closer inspection. This context is not favourable for courageous thinking, personal commitment, and daring experimentation. Courage, committment and creativity require a safe space to thrive—and ‘psychological safety requires comfort with brutal candor’ (Pisano 2019). Presently neither comfort nor candor are common place in the UN and in most NGOs. How can organizations that fail to kindle the flame of inspiration among their staff, inspire the public to get involved in the efforts they promote?

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Living and working in a challenging environment is stressful; but this stress is not necessarily bad. A large percentage of stress-related diseases are disorders that derive from excessive stress responses (Sapolsky 2004).13 Depending on the chosen coping mechanism, and the overall mindset of the person who is affected by stress, there is co-occurrence of positive and negative affect outcomes. Research even underpins the added value of a special class of meaning-based coping processes as being conducive to positive affect during chronic stress (Folkman and Moskowitz 2000). However constant (mental) business combined with a disconnect from felt passion leads individual to gradually sink into a slump of routine and stress. Indifferent to their own emotions, needs and aspirations they become pieces in a game that is played by others. Rather than actively shaping their reality, they endure it. Whether stress is acute or chronic, external or internal, the perceived challenge cannot be dealt with as an either-or equation, concentrating exclusively on the physiological or the mental dimension. Mental distress has bodily consequences, such as pain or disease, whereas biological factors such as nutritional deficiency or illness impact a person’s mood and performance. This vicious or virtuous circle marks individuals and extends beyond them; because we tend to inflict our inner state of mind on our immediate circle of relations—family, friends, and on the people, we work for, and with. To turn the tide from vicious to virtuous, Compassion for Change addresses the four components that shape who we are, soul, heart, mind, and body, mind, and matter. It combines theory and practice to ensure that participants not only understand how the methodology that is proposed to them operates, and why it has worked for others before them; practical exercises help them experience its added value firsthand. The C4C process in a snapshot Once commitment by management and key institutional stakeholders is secured, the where and who of the initial round of trainings is agreed upon. It has proven useful to start small-scale, with a representative sample of staff; ideally covering all gender, generations, local and expatriate staff, and in the case of complex local circumstances, all ethnic groups present in the office. Human resources and the local staff association must be on board.

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To render the interested organization independent from external consultants and service providers the focus is placed on internal capacity building, with the establishment of an internal pool of staff trainers. The aim of the initial pilot round is to test the grounds and adjust and fine-tune the operating model in line with the prevailing office culture before it is expanded. Where possible both headquarters and 1–3 field office locations should be part of this test run. Before the programme begins it is essential to establish a baseline which combines subjective factors such as staff motivation and objective elements like recorded days of sick leave. Based on these preconditions, C4C implementation takes place in three stages which are in line with the POZE logic and shall be looked upon here only summarily14 : The first stage is the training and positioning of selected staff as champions of internal transformation. This core group should be identified in view of their own stated motivation, availability and commitment to the ambitioned change process. The training curriculum of this group covers science-based explanation and personal experience; it is a practical and intellectual immersion in the physical, mental, emotional, and aspirational factors that shape themselves and their colleagues. The second stage is the design of an internal office programme with and by, these champions, in line with the needs of their organization, in the light of the peculiarities of the prevailing organizational culture, and the cultural context of the office they are based in. Grounded in the basic principles of the inside out/outside in methodology, using practices that showed benefits in other locations as an initial inspiration, this core group is tasked to design a flexible set of activities for their work environment. While tailoring this approach a light footprint is sought; in view of future expansion with minimal resources and sustainable maintenance over time. Local appropriation and uptake at all levels of the organization are central for sustainability. C4C is not a one-off. The third stage is the general roll-out of the programme. It is accompanied by monthly check-ins to facilitate adjustments in line with emerging concerns and unaddressed needs. Online coaching and peer-to-peer support accompany the champions while they apply their new expertise in their workspace. The rhythm of implementation should be flexible and realistic, not adding major additional time requirements. Using the baseline that had been established at the onset pre-identified milestones should be monitored on a rolling basis. The aim herein is to learn from experience and refine the approach over time.

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Creating institutions who create sustainable change begins by making them institutions that can change themselves. It is a dynamic from the inside out, which has impact in four dimensions: The mindset and an overall personal well-being of individual staff members improves (micro); this gradually impacts the institutional culture and overall workplace atmosphere. This impacts an ever-widening circle of staff including fence-sitters who had been reluctant to alter the status quo (meso); the resulting change of the collective modus operandi affects the organizations internal culture and its external operations; which has consequences on the impact of their programmatic implementation and public appearance (macro). This affects the local, national, and sectorwide dynamic which the institution and its people operate in; leaving an imprint on the world they are part of and aspire to change (meta). The experiences that result from this four-dimensional new reality gradually impact how staff perceive their own work, and the work of their employer, which further strengthens their motivation. C4C is more than a possibility. Over the past years, prototypes of its methodology have been successfully implemented in Haiti. In the context of UNICEF’s structure, it found entry points on the one hand in the area of programmatic work, to build the abilities of social workers involved in protection programmes geared towards young people. On the other hand, it was used in the area of human resources and management, to improve the well-being of UNICEF staff members and the overall office atmosphere. Each of these initiatives involved the expertise of local experts specialized in mental health and teambuilding. Based on the results and lessons learned the approach has been reviewed, expanded upon and refined.15

3.4

Translating Theory to Practice

Action that is taken consciously, serves to shape expectations, emotions , and thoughts, hereby laying the ground for future experiences that are in line with an individual’s aspirations . Tailored around the four dimensions , an overview of the recent stretches of my story may serve to illustrate these connections and interplays . Moving on in the journey of change the largest step may be the release of unspoken judgement towards ourselves; the inner contempt for certain ways of living. Though consequences derive from this exercise for the

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interaction with others, cleaning up inside has nothing to do with disorder outside. It involves our self-perception, and the views and voices that we had grown up with. The ‘shoulds’ and ‘oughts’ of what ‘a good person does and avoids’, etc. Changing the narrative of our life begins by reading what was written thus far. Acknowledging, accepting, and becoming aware of past chapters is required to write new ones. ∗ ∗ ∗ Accepting my own trajectory was a lesson in itself. For years I had tried to wrap my heart around the concept of compassion. While in my mind the idea was clear, my heart remained quiet. I pursued the path of humanitarian action because I ‘knew’ that it was right. Seeking to overcome social injustice seemed to be the only pursuit that made, intellectually speaking, sense. Honesty with myself dissolved the zeal of succeeding at any price. I realized that my compassion was abstract not alive because it was not fuelled from inside. It had nothing to take roots in because I had no sympathy with myself. We are our own worst judges. Like everything else, the external ability to feel with others mirrors the internal capacity to feel with ourselves. Honesty entails a leap away from preconceived notions and acquired habits. Stepping away from the need to leave a footprint in the future freed me to discover the present. It involved a review of my aspirations. Once I realized that a change of direction does not necessarily entail that the point of departure was wrong, I was able to stop moving along the path that was no longer mine. Honesty meant to pull the plug; to draw the curtain that had protected me from seeing the illusion that I had created about myself, for myself. Introspection can be either painful and hard, or exhilarating and fluid. While I did not face my own illusions, I could not face those of others; caught in the mirage of myself, my craving to belong, my quest for an identity, and the status that comes with it. How could I criticize what I was not only part of; but what had become an integral part my ‘identity’? Honesty towards oneself fuels honesty with others; the same inside out spiral operates in each dimension; and in between them. Once the transition from one side of the spectrum of seemingly opposing experiences has begun, it accelerates. My present mindset neither disqualifies the past, nor does it put a mortgage on the future.

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∗ ∗ ∗ Take a moment and listen to the dialogue in your head. Is the voice that is your constant companion an optimistic, encouraging one? Is it calming your anxiety or fuelling it; is it nagging, or soothing? Is your thinking straightforward from A to B to C, or is an ongoing circle from A via B to A? Which part of your storyline is outdated? Who writes your dialogue? ∗ ∗ ∗ One may wonder what is better, navigating the medium range in search of a balance or travelling from one extreme to the other, visiting one side of the spectrum then the other. I do not know, and I do not think there is, or must be, one answer that applies to everyone. Every path is different and along the way the traveller changes. There may be periods of stabilization, of transition, of affirmation; followed by radical jumps, curves, hills, or valleys. Evolution is neither fast and sudden, nor is it necessarily slow and gradual. The question is not to avoid extravagances but to rebalance the core components of our being as needed. If we gradually move towards the alignment of what we believe in, what we want, and what we do we move in the right direction. ∗ ∗ ∗ Perhaps you were educated to believe that the evolution of our character, of our abilities, and of our personality is limited to childhood and that from a certain age the die is cast. I encourage you to challenge this understanding, with a four-step experiment: 1. Identify one behaviour that has served you in some ways, but overall represents a mortgage on the future you desire. It can be anything, from smoking to cheating, from binge TV watching to emotional self-isolation. 2. Identify the benefits that you have derived from this behaviour; and the downsides. Make a list, writing down the pros on one side of the paper, and the cons on the other.

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3. Make the choice to not indulge in this behaviour only for four days. 4. Whenever a situation arises in which you would have referred to the behaviour in question, use the POZE sequence (P-OZ-E) to centre, and then consciously do the opposite of the acquired behaviour. As you do so; listen inside how this makes you feel.

∗ ∗ ∗ Change is inherent to all aspects of life. Fearing change means living in constant anxiety. Doing our best, using all our available knowledge at the time of action, putting to use all our abilities in that moment, is the only thing we can attempt under all circumstances. The result is not in our hands. With the synchronization of the dimensions that make us who we are, the desire of pursuing the best not only for oneself but for others comes naturally.

Notes 1. If you are ready to refrain from eating animals, be kind with yourself; going at your own rhythm slowly decrease your meat and fish consumption, meal by meal. And if there are setbacks, acknowledge them, appreciate yourself for trying, and keep moving forward in line with your initial intention. 2. Friends of mine described this journey as ‘your purpose is to help others find their way’. Maybe they are right. 3. UN Charter. Full text https://www.un.org/en/charter-united-nations/. 4. Discussions about reforming the UN have been going on for decades, and many, far more knowledgeable people than me, have analysed the pros and cons of these approaches. Two articles published in 2015 at the occasion of the 70th anniversary may provide an overview of the most contentious issues at stake; which have not evolved much until today. From the outside bench, The Journal of Foreign Affairs https://www.foreignaffairs.com/articles/2015-10-20/world-weary. For a view from the inside, UN Chronicle https://www.un.org/en/chronicle/ article/united-nations-and-its-discontents-academic-view. The website of the Global Policy Forum offers a complete overview of the various

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reforms with links to detailed assessments https://www.globalpolicy.org/ un-reform/general-analysis-un-reform.html. Changing an institutional culture is always challenging, and the trial grows exponentially with the size and complexity of the organization. Functioning like social contracts that specify the rules of membership, organizational cultures are unwritten yet sacred to many. When leaders set out to change the culture of an organization, they are in a sense breaking a (social) contract. It should not be surprising, then, that many people inside an organization—particularly those thriving under the existing rules—resist (Pisano 2019). An interesting topic that shall not be explored further here is the role of B Corporates which proactively shape their approach to address the triple bottom line of serving people, planet, and profit. Certified B Corporations seek to balance purpose and profit. Once certified they are legally required to consider the impact of their decisions on their workers, customers, suppliers, community, and the environment. As of February 2020, there were 3243 companies from 71 countries registered in the online database of the B-Lab https://bcorporation.net/. The above is a very simplified and incomplete take on the past and present of the humanitarian sector, which I do not ambition to summarize in its full extent. For a more detailed overview of challenges and perspectives faced by the humanitarian sector please refer to (Ferris 2008) and the website of the Humanitarian Accountability Partnership International (HAP), which was established in 2003 as the humanitarian sector’s first international self-regulatory body. For an overview of the history of the humanitarian sector please see (Rysaback-Smith 2016). International humanitarian assistance is a significant source of support during crises, but while at just under $14 billion it is almost half of the $33 billion from development assistance, it is much smaller than other financial flows from richer to poorer countries such as the estimated $85 billion from remittances or the $41 billion from foreign direct investment. Harnessing even a tiny fraction of these other flows could have a significant impact on the funding available for crisis response (Weforum 2018). Please note that even though the present pages focus on humanitarian action, the raised issues apply equally to development aid. For an overview of policies check the UN Website for the prevention of internal exploitation and abuse https://www.un.org/preventingsexual-exploitation-and-abuse/content/policies. The UN-wide Code of conduct on this topic is accessible on the web via https:// www.un.org/management/sites/www.un.org.management/files/unsystem-model-code-conduct.pdf The CEB Task Force on Addressing Sexual Harassment within the Organizations of the UN System

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[CEB/2018/HLCM/14/Add.1] offers an overview of actions and results. The broken windows theory is a criminological theory that states that visible signs of crime, antisocial behaviour, and civil disorder create an urban environment that encourages further crime and disorder, including serious crimes. The theory suggests that policing methods that target minor crimes such as vandalism, public drinking, and fare evasion help to create an atmosphere of order and lawfulness, thereby preventing more serious crimes (Kelling and Coles 1997). The BWT is based on a general principle of a vicious circle, that can play in multiple contexts. Acknowledging there is no empirical support for its success in terms of policing (even Kelling worries about its application), it is used here without the racial connotations that are sometimes associated with its application to certain parts of the population as being more at risk, as it was pointed out by various scholars (Childress 2016). New research has located a brain circuit that, when activated in mice, transformed timid individuals into bold alpha-male mice that almost always prevailed in aggressive social encounters. The experience of winning appeared to leave an imprint on the mice, making them more assertive, even when their brains’ were no longer artificially controlled. They were found to be more combative in a second scenario in which they competed to occupy the warm corner in a cage with an ice-cold floor (Zhou et al. 2017). Stress is useful when our heightened senses allow us to concentrate to solve a problem. However, it is detrimental when it is excessive (Sapolsky 2004). If you are interested in the science underneath the conceptual approach please refer to (Walther 2020). For further details about the methodology and implementation please see Walther (2020); and a forthcoming paper on ‘Social Change from the inside out. Investing in the emotional resilience and self-efficacy of adolescents in humanitarian contexts’ (Walther 2021a). The detailed report of an external assessment conducted six months after the first cohort of trainer training is accessible on the UNICEF Haiti website https://timounyo. com).

References Bicchieri, C. (2016). Norms in the Wild: How to Diagnose, Measure, and Change Social Norms. Oxford: Oxford University Press. Budd, J. W., & Devasheesh, B. (2008). Values, Ideologies, and Frames of Reference in Industrial Relations. In Sage Handbook of Industrial Relations. Sage.

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Childress, S. (2016). The Problem with “Broken Windows” Policing, Frontline. www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/the-problem-with-broken-windowspolicing/. Conrad, D., & Kellar-Guenther, Y. (2006). Compassion Fatigue, Burnout, and Compassion Satisfaction Among Colourado Child Protection Workers. Child Abuse and Neglect, 30(10), 1071–1080. Damianus, A. (2018). Moral Standards and Corporation’s Moral Responsibility. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/327221510_Moral_Standards_ and_Corporation’s_Moral_Responsibility. Davey, E., Borton, J., & Foley, M. (2013). A History of the Humanitarian System: Western Origins and Foundations. Overseas Development Institute. Ferris, E. (2008). Challenges in the Humanitarian Field: The Big Picture. The Brookings Institute. Folkman, S., & Moskowitz, J. T. (2000). Positive Affect and the Other Side of Coping. American Psychologist, 55(6), 647–654. Gladwell, M. (2000). The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference. Little, Brown. Heise, D. R., MacKinnon, N. J., & Scholl, W. (2015). Identities, Roles, and Social Institutions an Affect Control Account of Social Order. In E. J. Lawler, S. R. Thye, & Yoon, J. (Eds.), Order on the Edge of Chaos: Social Psychology and the Problem of Social Order (pp. 165–188). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Humanitarian Accountability Partnership International (HAP International). Retrieved February 2020. www.hapinternational.org. Kelling, G., & Coles, C. (1997). Fixing Broken Windows: Restoring Order and Reducing Crime in Our Communities. New York: Simon & Schuster. Konyndyk, J. (2018). Rethinking the Humanitarian Business Model. Center for Global Development (CGD). MSF website. Retrieved January 2020. https://www.msf.fr/decouvrir-msf/ notre-histoire. O’Brien, T. (2019). When Your Job Is Your Identity, Professional Failure Hurts More. Harvard Business Review. Pantuliano, S. (2018). Humanitarian Crises Cost More Than Ever. But Businesses Can Help. World Economic Forum. Retrieved January 2020. https://www. weforum.org/agenda/2018/01/humanitarian-crises-cost-private-sectorblended-finance. Pisano, G. P. (2019). Innovation Isn’t All Fun and Games—Creativity Needs Discipline. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2019/ 01/the-hard-truth-about-innovative-cultures?. Rysaback-Smith, H. (2016). History and Principles of Humanitarian Action. Turkish Journal of Emergency Medicine, 15(Suppl 1), 5–7.

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Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers. Chicago: Owl Book/Henry Holt. Suntae, K., Karlesy, M., Myers, C., & Chifeling, T. (2016). Why Companies Are Becoming B Corporations. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/ 2016/06/why-companies-are-becoming-b-corporations. Turkish Journal of Emergency Medicine. (2015). The History and Principles of Humanitarian Action. 15(Suppl 1), 5–7. van Kleef, G. A., Finkenauer, C., Stamkou, E., & Gündemir, S. (2011). Breaking the Rules to Rise to Power: How Norm Violators Gain Power in the Eyes of Others. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2, 500–507. Walther, C. (2020). Development, Humanitarian Action and Social Welfare: Purpose for Power. London: Palgrave Macmillan. Walther, C. (2021a). Compassion for Change. Social Change from the Inside Out. Investing in the Emotional Resilience and Self-efficacy of Adolescents in Humanitarian Contexts (Working Paper). Humanitarian leadership center, Deakin University. Walther, C. (2021b). Corona’s Call for Connection. ISQOLS. Wedell-Wedellsborg, M. (2019). The Psychology Behind Unethical Behaviour. Harvard Business Review (see also Power posing, Chapter 2). Zhou, T., Zhu, H., Zhengxiao, F., Wang, F., Chen, Y., Liang, H., et al. (2017). History of Winning Remodels Thalamo-PFC Circuit to Reinforce Social Dominance. Science, 357 (6347), 162–168.

CHAPTER 4

Daring to Be Human

Abstract This chapter summarizes the four principles that this book is based upon; concluding with final thoughts that connect the micro, meso, macro and meta dimension with each other, and to the future. The conclusion of this book is a call for connection, based on the understanding that in the same way as the individual’s aspirations, emotion, thoughts and sensations impact each other (micro), the individual impacts the communities s/he is part of (meso), the political, economic and political context (macro), and hereby Planet Earth (meta). Keywords Perspectives · Coherence · Interdisciplinary · Optimization · Social change

Introduction Contemplating that we are inside a comfort zone, which can be only a narrow spot within the rest of reality involves (or should involve) discomfort. Once we acknowledge the zonal limits it is time to expand them.1 And it is in this moment that we realize how fond we are of this acquired space; how cosy it is. When your apartment doesn’t fit your needs, there are two ways to change it. Redecorating, maybe breaking down a wall is one option. It © The Author(s) 2020 C. C. Walther, Humanitarian Work, Social Change, and Human Behavior, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-45878-2_4

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involves limited costs but usually represents merely an intermediate solution, not an ideal one. The other option is to move out. Depending on your current state of mind you may be tempted to pursue the first way; to gradually ease into more radical changes. Keep in mind though that liberating yourself from your comfort zone is not like moving apartments. Ultimately there is no way around the pain of letting go if your goal is to be free.

4.1

Balance and Choices

Evolving with peaks and valleys, crises and chaos, awe-inspiring beauty and indescribable pain the Universe flows in symmetry. Everything has a counterpart; standing juxtaposed to something else. Day and Night, Life and Death, Subjects and Objects, Mind and Matter. Reality represents an evolving balance of these opposites. Even though we may feel that there is more discomfort than pleasure, more suffering than joy in our life or in the world overall, this perceived imbalance is a matter of interpretation. Breathing is a physiological illustration of the principles that we touched upon in the preface, change and complementarity. Every inhalation brings oxygen, followed by exhalation and the discharge of carbon dioxide from the body. They complement each other. Life depends on both, one alone would be deadly. Imagine you had to choose, only breathing in or only breathing out. The same logic applies to situations. How we perceive them depends on our perspective. The darkness at night is part of the daylight that is experienced elsewhere; both resulting from the pairing of solar and terrestrial rotations. Everything is one; involving many pieces that belong to the same puzzle; a kaleidoscope that keeps on evolving, like breathing never stops while life goes on; conditioning this complementary continuation, while being conditioned by it. The other principle illustrated by this seemingly ordinary motion of taking air in and expelling it, is impermanence, change. Each breath that comes in passes away. It does not come inside in order to pass away; but because it is in its inherent nature to come in, it is in its nature to go out. The same logic of impermanence applies to our emotions, thoughts, and sensations. The pain of losing a loved one feels endless yet eventually the sharp pain softens, gradually turning into nostalgia. The joy of finding love feels eternal, making the concept of marriage a pillar of social organization. Relationships may last or morph eventually into indifference,

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sometimes disliking. The cycle of life goes on. Every breath is a reminder that nothing lasts. People, places, possessions, privileges, and power are just as impermanent as pain and pleasure. 4.1.1

Coherence of Aspiration and Action Equals Added Value

The body is an interface between the inner and outer realm. It is a platform that either serves to find and give meaning to our existence or a tool to hide from it. What we want, feel, say, and do is connected. Time accounting is a widely known and used practice. Preached in management books, leadership courses, and self-help blogs alike, the instructions are straightforward: (1) Identify which tasks and activities take up most of your time; (2) Analyse whether these segments of activity are aligned with your priorities; and if you find an imbalance between your time-investment, and your personal and/or professional objectives shift either of them; finally (3) Eliminate, or reduce your current action in line with the desired outcome. It is a logical and useful exercise. But how about time that is allocated unvoluntarily to certain types of thinking? What happens if we apply this accountability approach to the time that we invest in internal thinking processes and certain mental patterns that keep on recurring over and over again; always with the same or similar results. ∗ ∗ ∗ For years one of those repeating thinking patterns of mine related to my job. I was working with a renowned humanitarian organization; an activity which seemed to be in perfect alignment with my aspiration to contribute to a happier world. Let’s distill this: Aspiration: Contribute to make the world a happier place (1) Action: Be part of an institution whose mission is to help those in need (1) 1+1=2 Everything made sense Yet being exposed to the reality on the ground in countries affected by conflict, poverty, and natural disaster I came to see the limitations of traditional aid. The more I experienced, the less I was able to hide from

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the unpleasant realization that I was part of a defective machine. And although my contribution was minuscule, an insignificant cog in a gigantic operation, this operation kept on existing in its current manner because of thousands of minuscule cogs like me. Neither the institution nor I did anything that was simply wrong, yet both of us remained below our respective potential. Aspiration: Contribute to make the world a happier place (1) Action: Be part of a machine that is inefficient in making the world happier (−1) 1−1=0 Something does not work. Even though this connection was clear in my mind, I spent countless hours contemplating my action and my aspirations, finding ways to explain and justify to myself why I stayed within the status quo for years. (Sub)consciously I was shying away from the logical consequence; from the realization that unless I changed something, nothing would change. Tucked away in my comfort zone I could go on, hiding from the awareness that my values, my words, and my behaviour were out of synch, that I was inauthentic. While I was proficient in the ostrich mode of putting my head in the sand, in moments of conscious calm I saw that I was headed towards a dead end. Life is limited. I knew that eventually I would look back on mine, to see that I had wasted it cultivating my comfort zone. Given a treasure I had invested in peanuts; consciously foregoing the supreme gift, a life lived with purpose. ∗ ∗ ∗ Pause and Zoom out: When you take a step back and look squarely at your personal and professional life, what do you see? Are your aspirations for life and your day-to-day behaviour aligned?

∗ ∗ ∗

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Coping with Incoherence

When our aspiration for meaning and our behaviour are out of synch our entire being is misaligned. Acknowledging this is uncomfortable, thus we shy away from it. What we do either allows us to approach and amplify our aspirations, or it can prevent and dim them. The scientific concept of ‘wave coherence’ and ‘wave interference’ illustrates this simultaneous occurrence of opportunity and risk. In physics, two wave sources are coherent if they have a constant phase difference, the same frequency, and the same waveform. Interference in the mathematical sense indicates that two waves can add together to create a wave of greater amplitude than either one (constructive interference) or subtract from each other to create a wave of lesser amplitude than either one (destructive interference) (Wolf 2007). When our values, life goals, and daily action contradict each other incoherence ensues, which causes ‘cognitive dissonance’; a psychological phenomenon which results in personal discomfort (Festinger 1962). This emotionally destructive interference causes a dull, omnipresent pain, a deafening silence, that affects our physical and mental well-being. The path of least resistance is to silence that pain. Replaying a mental dialogue of question and justification may serve like aspirin; effective in the short run until another occasion renews the feeling that something is missing. The alternative is to find out what is missing, and not just face but address the gap. ∗ ∗ ∗ For a long while, I knew how to dissolve the pain for good, but I was not ready to cease the medication. To breathe freely one needs the courage to take off the oxygen mask, trusting the lungs. Eliminating pain caused by incoherence requires realignment, which begins by acknowledging what is misaligned. The challenge of honesty is that one does not have to merely face facts but face oneself. When I was ready to stop my mental painkillers, a curtain fell. I saw and consciously recognized three things: Firstly that I had invested two decades of my lifetime in something that had not brought me closer to my goal; secondly that I had come close to resembling the type of person whom I had been afraid to be, a hypocrite who does not practise what she preaches; and thirdly, possibly the worst of all, that I had no alternative. I was caught. Or was I?

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Once I had done this mental exercise, I saw two options: stay or quit. I was free to either put the acquired awareness once more in store, pursuing business as usual. Or, to take proactive measures to synchronize longterm aspirations and daily action. Both tracks involved conscious choices, and consequences. We cannot make unseen that we have recognized. The question is which basket we are ready to carry. In my case: Option 1—Keep my action and shift my aspirations, accepting that I no longer genuinely intended to build a happier world; that the privileges and status that derived from my present job were enough to satisfy me. > Coherence by default, by lowering my standards. Option 2—Keep my aspirations and shift my action, translating into practice the knowledge that my behaviour and my goals were out of synch; that since my aspirations remained the yardstick of my life inventory I had to step out of my present drift; jumping into the unknown. > Confirmation of my original standards and consequent action. Going through this mental equation I found that my aspiration for purpose remained valid. Grounded in this realization the combination of honesty, compassion, and humility—all of them applied in a 360-degree perspective allowed me to zoom out of myself to the causes and consequences of my present situation. That focus was necessary to choose the next chapter. ∗ ∗ ∗ Pause and Zoom further Out: If you had one more year to live—would you keep on doing what you do now?

∗ ∗ ∗

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Synchronization, from the Inside Out and the Outside In

The balance of complementary extremes extends beyond the individual to embrace the entire planet; with yin and yang as the undercurrent of everything, physical and intangible. Media coverage may give the impression that the twenty-first century is marked by more or less poverty, violence, racism, populism, etc., than the past. Neither of which is holding up to empirical scrutiny. As most illusions this one has collateral damages and, sometimes, benefits. We are not cultivating a type of curiosity that is geared to the exploration of facts and arguments that contradict our perspective, rather we seek to accumulate more of the same (Nickerson 1998).2 The human mind is inclined to seek a confirmation of its established beliefs, rather than challenging them. Such status quo confirming is a natural derivate of our liking for the way of least intellectual resistance, and of our strong dislike towards changing an acquired behaviour pattern. To avoid cognitive dissonance, we step into this trap of the confirmation bias (Chapter 2). Over time our expectations gradually become self-fulfilling prophecies; making what we (think we) see what we eventually get. Depending on our beliefs this may be positive or negative. Books, courses, and talks on the pursuit of happiness abound. It is alternatively attributed to freedom or belonging, to material autonomy or the relinquishment of desires, to pleasure or purpose. We take in these arguments, digest them, and find in each certain virtues. The common points that emerge from all of them are simple and in line with what we know already. Intellectually speaking we understand that life is limited and can be lived only in the present moment, that things and money are less valuable than friends and health, that what we give to others is what we have in the end. Still most of us live life with an orientation that is diametrically opposed to this knowledge. The ‘must’ and ‘should’, the panoply of external commitments that are to be honoured prevents us from putting into practice what we have understood on an abstract level. Sadly, activities that are the most contrasting with this understanding of long-term goals are those that we engage in with the justification that they are rational. As mentioned in Chapter 2, living in a permanent dependence on external elements means that our happiness is conditioned by access to factors which are out of our control. But what if inner happiness was

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not the result of something to be attained outside but an experience that follows when we leave everything behind inside? Needs with external correlations make us dependent on others; and no matter which intermediate satisfaction they are given, externalized answers are short-lived; placebos that cannot still the underlying craving that remains unaddressed. Catering to our apparent needs, we rush from one short-term satisfaction to the next. Just like a child that craves candy, loses appetite, and then wants more candy. When our inner balance is out of synch we aspire to security, which is ephemeral due to the impermanent nature of everything. We want to belong, making ourselves dependent on the opinions and reactions of other people. Though the only home that we will ever have is inside. We pursue status in the form of money, career, fame, or titles. Forgetting that they invariably seem to decrease in value once we have attained them. We desire control, of ourselves and our environment, investing our energy in an endeavour that is like the mythical Sisyphus who was punished to push a stone to the top of the hill, but the stone would always roll back once the summit was reached. Neuroscience confirms the Buddhist teaching that mind and body interact constantly (Cahn and Polich 2009). Based on genetics and past experiences, the brain is reacting to sensory inputs, either with liking or disliking. Without conscious awareness we are becoming attached to objects, people, circumstances over the course of recurrent exposure. Like a baby which is raised from an early age on foods that are high in sugar develops a lifelong sweet tooth. Unless we are aware of this interplay of outside and inside, and consciously decide against it. Sensations, thoughts and emotions do not arise in order to pass away, but because they have arisen it is their nature to also pass away. They are unsubstantial and therefore getting attached to them is pointless. Detachment can be trained. How we react to a certain situation or sensory stimulus is influenced by our physiological and emotional set-up. But no pattern is cast in stone. No matter how old we are, we can change what we do, how we do it, and thereby transform who, what, and how we are. Like skiing downhill in winter. The first time the whole hill is a potential slope, leaving the challenge to choose one’s own path. The next time chances to follow the same slope have slightly increased. With each glide downhill the known path in the slope deepens (Doidge 2015). The challenge is to get started, with the firm intention to take a new path, and to pursue this aspiration

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as we climb and glide. Once the aspirational eyes are on the prize, the physical manifestation derives naturally from it. If our core aspiration for life is happiness, then the pursuit of ‘freedom from wanting’ (which is not identical to ‘freedom from want’, which equals access to a minimum of material aspects required for survival and living in dignity3 ) is needed to make it sustainable. Freedom from wanting ensues when the four dimensions of our being—our aspirations, emotions, thoughts, and sensations are in synch. When our everyday action is a genuine expression of our values, feelings, beliefs, and long-term goals we realize the connection between our own well-being and the well-being of others. We come to see that their needs are like ours, and that addressing them corresponds to satisfying our own. The path of least resistance is to follow our immediate cravings, to satisfy our desire for sensual pleasures and the gratification of our ego. Overcoming this resistance is part of the process. To build up new muscles we must lift weights. Developing strength, no matter if is physical, mental, or emotional involves effort, comes from going against the strain of resistance. ∗ ∗ ∗ From the previous pages you noticed how much I was entangled in my ‘needs’, caught in a grip at all four levels. Letting them go was the result of circumstances and conscious choosing. What was interesting to learn along this journey was that whatever I released was replaced by something else; hidden highlights that keep on emerging even when I do not look for them. It is ironic that for every relinquished need its exact opposite appears. Once I let go of the need for security, I began to trust; accepting the path as it unfolded. When I released the desire to be appreciated by others, I found compassion for them and myself. Stepping out of the need to fit into a certain set of expectations, of an imaginary profile that I had established myself, I started to relish the ability of being honest without fear to lose face. While I was concentrated on preserving my facade, I could not look at the masks it entailed since this would have involved to lift them. Thus, accepting myself generated the type of warmth inside that I had been looking for outside. Relinquishing the need for control made

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me finally feel safe; generating an unending appetite to not just explore but enjoy the unknown. Reverse engineering works Following the principle of change from the outside in, our mental transformation can be triggered by a changed behaviour (for details on the Outside-In dynamic, see the Chapter 2). Even while the related thoughts and emotions are not yet present, changing our behaviour patterns with the intention to cultivate change plants seeds of transformation. Again, drawing from neuroscience, the strong desire to adopt a new behaviour makes changes in the mental hardware possibly at any age (Doidge 2015). Once the new behaviour pattern has been established, even mental repetition, without physical manifestations, helps to gradually deepen the neural pathways. This is one of the approaches used by high-level athletes. Gymnasts visualize themselves performing the desired somersault many times before actually performing it. After the desired path of action has been taken at least once, mental repetition, as well as the observation of others who perform this action strengthens the synaptic connections. Connected in a continuum of intention and behaviour, experience and expression, mind and matter influence and nurture each other. ∗ ∗ ∗ Living in the present, the only place where life happens means letting go of the past, and hereby of ties to outdated habit patterns. This can be made into an exercise: 1. In situ—When you are in a situation that triggers craving or aversion in you, Pause before you react, taking four deep breaths. Observe what is going on, using your external sense tools, Zoom into yourself and identify the four dimensions of your being at play, and their interaction. Experience whatever pleasant or unpleasant feelings arise; without jumping into Expressing yourself. The longer you refrain from reacting to the stimulation, the feebler your old behaviour pattern becomes. Each time it will become weaker and weaker until it passes away. 2. In preparation—Sit in stillness. Pause, taking four deep breaths.

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Observe your incoming and outgoing breath; notice it arising and passing away. Zoom into yourself, remembering a situation where you generated a behaviour that you regretted afterwards. Seek to recreate the experience, the emotions that you felt then. Stay with the discomfort, the restlessness, the pain that this exercise may trigger. Do not react to it. Refrain from Expressing yourself. Just sit through it. Eventually the thoughts and feelings will start to lessen. Maintain your equanimity if you can.

∗ ∗ ∗ Not reacting in the present to the triggers that influenced our behaviour in the past eventually changes the habit pattern of the mind. Speaking through the disciplines that pertain to the four dimensions in isolation (for references, please see Chapters 2 and 3): from a neuroscientific perspective, new synaptic connections are created in the brain, which eventually, and with each repetition, overwrite the existing ones; from a psychological perspective, by activating the conscious and the subconscious mind simultaneously, deep-rooted behaviour patterns, complexes, and beliefs are addressed. Like a ski-slope that is no longer in use fades away, so our mental and physical structure is prone to change. The ‘Use it or Lose it’ principle can lead us to ‘forget’ a language, but it can also serve to eliminate outdated behaviour patterns. Finally, from a spiritual perspective, so-called sankaras (Pali word for ‘impurities of the mind’) from the past bubble to the surface, and because you are not reacting, you are not creating new impurities, thus the old ones are uprooted, come to the surface and pass away. 4.2.1

Facing Forward

The shift from pessimism to an attitude of positive realism, from passive to active behaviour, can be systematically nurtured. Attitude is not immutable and neither is the behaviour that derives from it and cultivates it. Both are open to lifelong change. What follows may serve to summarize some of the principles that underpin this book; a way of concluding the overview of my journey with a point of departure for you. Training the mind to see the glimmer of light in the darkness is a slow but rewarding process. Just like learning a new language,

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progress is not seen immediately; but then, suddenly words become understandable and the world brighter. If you tend to concentrate on the negative, be it of a situation, another person, or yourself, train yourself to Pause before you engage into your usual train thought. Observe what is from a neutral perspective, stepping back from the immediacy of re-action, then Zoom in on the positive elements. Make a mental list; Express as many positive factors as negative ones. ∗ ∗ ∗ There are a couple of points that may serve you to cultivate a positive proactive outlook as you move further along on your journey: Experiencing the outside by consciously deploying our senses brings focus. Placing the circumstances into perspective. Such a neutralized view may reveal significant differences between the situation and the image that we had conjured up in our mind. If there are two seedlings in a garden, the one that will flourish is the one the sunlight falls on. Whatever it is that we concentrate our attention upon is that which will grow. This applies to problems as well as for solutions. Which plant do you want to grow in your garden? Help comes where help has begun. If you start to help yourself, other unexpected sources of help will join you. As seen above, winning loops perpetuate each other; an attitude of success breeds experiences of success; the experience of winning nurtures a winner’s mindset. If you are helping yourself to be miserable, a vicious circle sets in and negative energies will be attracted to join the effort to make you more miserable. ‘Failure is not possible’. It is commonly written that ‘failure is not an option’, which implies that there is an either-or situation. If used in the context of our personal journey the traditional saying is an oxymoronic sentence; because whatever results from an action that is taken with the right intention cannot turn into a failure; even if it does not cause the expected output. The minimum benefit is a lesson that is learned. In the best-case scenario, the outcome may end up being far superior to the initial design.

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Freedom begins inside. Liberation is not primarily about exiting a job, a relationship, or a scope of leisure. These changes may come after we have deliberately chosen to dissolve the mental attachment that we currently cultivate towards them. Maybe a physical manifestation of this detachment will not even be needed; maybe it will ensue naturally. Freedom is about freeing ourselves from our Self. Nobody can give or take away the power to choose detachment. Only yourself. Who chooses your thoughts? Purpose is an intermediate stage on the journey towards meaning. The objective of these pages was to get you inspired by the meaning of your life story; starting with the purpose of your presence. If you want meaning, follow your passion and you will find freedom to trust. Once you trust yourself enough to let go of the need for ‘purpose’ your passion stays behind and meaning arises. Whatever you do, make it a standing practice to analyse why you do it. Not just on the surface but digging down to the actual drivers that motivated one action rather than another. At the beginning this may be in hindsight, after the fact; as you grow more established in this habit you may find the mental space of stepping back to have a look inside before you take action outside. When a situation arises the following two matrixes above may serve as an objective grid to assess potential decisions, before jumping into action or at least to learn from them afterwards for next time. Looking at motivations, Table 4.1 is structured around the basic triplet that shapes our decisions (Intention, Insight, and Awareness). Looking then at the outcomes that we assume/know would derive from our decisions, Table 4.2 investigates the four parameters that are involved in the definition of subjective happiness (spiritual evolution, relationships, personal growth, and professionalism). Decision Drivers: What motivation drives the intended behaviour? Pause, zoom inside, and ask yourself the questions in Table 4.1 to assess your motivation in a given situation. To refine the cause assessment let us shift to the outcome perspective: Correlated Consequences: What would be the outcome of the intended action?

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Table 4.1 Intention, awareness, and insight mutually influence each other, either nurturing or impeding an attitude that is in line with our aspirations and long-term goals Does my decision

Pro

Contra

Intention

Does it come from the intent of contributing to the well-being of others? Does it reflect careful consideration? Is it anchored in an independent mindset? Does it consider all the factors known at the given moment, putting to use my best abilities?

Does it derive from the intent of serving my personal interest? Does it result from external stimuli? Is it outside of my control? Does it result from obvious, low-effort thinking that walks the way of least resistance?

Awareness

Insight

Source Author

Table 4.2 Spiritual evolution, social relations, personal growth, and professional endeavors, or using our best skills/knowledge in the context of our responsibilities, mutually influence each other, either nurturing or impeding a behaviour that is in line with our aspirations Does my action

Pro

Contra

Spiritual evolution

Does it align with my long-term priority to find and live meaning? Do they contribute to the well-being of others; or at least, causes them no harm?

Does it gear towards short-term gratification, including material gains? Do they manipulate others to do something for me? Pursue a certain response from the other person? Does it confirm and strengthen acquired automatisms, including instinctive cravings and aversions? Does it prioritize my own interests; including short-term wins for my image and reputation?

Relationships

Personal growth

Does it mirror who I want to be, pushing me to put my best knowledge and skill set to the test?

Professionalism

Does it pursue the best outcome for those whom my work is supposed to benefit? Does it have positive outcomes from objective, outsider perspective?

Source Author

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Zoom out and look at the situation from a big picture perspective; ask yourself the questions in Table 4.2 to assess the potential result. In parallel to this assessment which relates to a particular situation, it is useful to take a moment at the end of the day/week to look at the actual outcomes that derived from our actions. Until you have designed a personal list of indicators which cover all the aspects that matter to you, you may wish to look at the three criteria below to objectively measure if in fact your behaviour nurtured the positive influence that you have on others: Indicators of success Foresight • Number of people who have actually become happy/happier due to my action today? Intention • Number of people whom I intended to make happy, without expecting anything in return? Awareness • Number of occasions in which I detected one of those behaviour patterns of mine of which I know that they are detrimental to me/others, and consciously did not act on it? 4.2.2

The POZE Perspective—A Practical Prism

The paradigm that has been presented in this book is not based on dogma. It offers a way to look at life from a new perspective, in view of reshaping one’s experience accordingly. It may serve as a tool to acknowledge, assess, and appreciate your current life; and to adjust as needed in order to maximize your unique potential. In doing so you will optimize your influence on others, on the meso-, macro-, and meta-entities that you evolve in; the world that you are part of. Sustainable happiness requires balance, within and between the four dimensions that make us who we are; and ideally within and between the four core areas that we usually spend our time and energy on—work,

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leisure, relationships, and spirituality.4 The prism of our four inner dimensions may serve to check whether these four external areas are in synch. You can look at every arena of your life and pass it through the criteria of the POZE prism. For example, looking also at those who are closest to you. Is your partner touching your body, mind, heart, and soul? Does s/he care about your physical well-being (body), shares the same intellectual interests or is at least interested to learn about yours (mind), respects and values your emotions (heart), and supports your aspirations (soul)? If the answer to any of these four questions is ‘No’ you may wish to find out not only why, but whether this is a gap that can be fulfilled within the existing relationship. Open dialogue can bring about sustainable changes due to the mutual desire to make things work. If this interrogation brings up however another ‘No’, you have a choice – to accommodate an everlasting experience of unfulfilled wanting (which may be an option if for example, you find complete satisfaction in the other three dimensions due to the other arenas of your life like work, leisure, or spirituality), or – to make a clear, respectful break, in your interest and the interest of your partner. A period of transition, a fair and candid attempt for conversation in the perspective of change from both sides can be a good intermediate stage. It should however be undertaken with the perspective of change in mind, to avoid that the intermediate stage becomes the new normal, a lingering lukewarm promise that does not lead anywhere. In certain constellations, the lack that is experienced in one dimension, or in one area may be compensated by fulfilment of this dimension in another area. For example—your work brings you satisfaction in three dimensions— body (if offers status, money, security, power); mind (with intellectual thrill); and heart (due to pleasant interactions with colleagues), but nothing resonates with your soul (you find no meaning in your day-to-day job). However, in your free time, you manage an association which defends a cause that you deeply care about. Or maybe you find fulfilment because you draw energy from a certain religion or whatever form your personal spiritual search takes. As your job leads you to spend a large

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chunk of limited lifetime on something that you do not care about this may not be the ideal set-up, but at least in the short term this configuration may serve your well-being. Distilling a situation into four distinct but interactive dimensions makes each dimension manageable, as well as the sum. Instead of facing an undefined mass of dissatisfaction and lingering wanting, the present prism offers four concrete entry points to get started with change. This is not an arithmetical approach; it is a perspective that is meant to serve your experience of life. There is no right or wrong. Perhaps you will find fulfilment in a situation where two or three out of the four areas are respectively in synch. Maybe not. Perhaps in this current phase of your life one area feels so primal that you are ready to forgo satisfaction in the others. This is your choice. Make a candid review of all four areas, looking each time at all four dimensions, so that you make your choices based on a complete picture. Asking oneself questions related to topics that hurt can be uncomfortable and liberating. Every journey begins with the first step. Go at your own speed, one step at a time; out of a life that is the default option, something that just ‘happens’ because you followed the way of least resistance. It may feel negligible to have a passion when you are passionately in love but is it really? Emotions change, whereas your internal lodestar, once you have identified it, keeps on illuminating your night however dark it may become (Fig. 4.1). There is no right or wrong to life, just different. Life is not a trial, but a one-time chance to find happiness and make a difference. Why would you relinquish this opportunity? Zooming out to the big picture The past pages focussed on individual aspiration, the choice to step in and unveil one’s personal power. It was then shown why and how this decision is the building stone of institutions that live up to the power of engineering larger social change processes. These two phases mutually influence each other, because individuals thrive when they work for organizations that proactively invest their assets to make the world different, better; and institutions flourish when their staff embodies their values. Beyond staff in humanitarian organizations whose professional vocation it is to help others, this logic applies to every human being. What better

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Fig. 4.1 Everything is connected. The four basic questions that underpin human existence are as interwoven as the answers that eventually arise as life goes by. Taking time to consider how they relate to one’s present situation is useful, to assess the status quo and the way forward (Source Author)

fit than doing with your daily occupation something that brings bread on the table and meaning to your life? Organizations, be they public, private, non-profit, or multilateral, benefit exponentially when their staff is not merely intellectually and physically involved at work, or emotionally attached and driven by career prospects and financial considerations; organizations thrive if the individuals that constitute their workforce are genuinely committed because they feel that the orientation of their employer and their own personal aspiration are aligned. The optimization of this collective power potential may be dispensable for corporations whose stated purpose it is to make profit

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for their stakeholders, but it is not for humanitarian and development organizations. The power of the latter depends on the level of commitment of the individuals which they are made of. The ‘soul’ of organizations with a social purpose is animated by the soul power of those people. And thus, it lives, stagnates, and ultimately dies with it. The continuum of transformation But the continuum does not end here. Everything is connected. What is and what changes on the micro- and meso-level, affecting individuals and institutions, has ripple effects in the macro- and meta-dimension, impacting society and ultimately Planet Earth. This book is built following the POZE model of a spiral dynamic. Starting with my story as an illustration of a potential evolution in the micro-dimension, on towards the paradigm that can serve to nurture such a change, further to the institutional dimension, and the link between those two dimensions, from micro to meso, and back. All of this builds up to something bigger though. Because if what happens in one dimension affects the other dimensions, then naturally the overall dynamic evolves. The cumulative effect of individuals who change themselves; and of the communities which are organically influenced by this change, impacts the macro-dimensions they are both part of. Let us distill this: If individuals synchronize the inner four dimensions of their being—aligning their aspirations, values, words, and behaviour, then their interaction with other individuals, or the communities they are part of, changes. An institution is a community, and if a critical mass of those who constitute it changes, then its internal culture and operating model is affected (Fig. 4.2). People are the smallest constitutive parts that make and shape even the largest social entity. From families to schools, from public service entities to corporations, from NGOs to the UN, individuals are part of a widereaching spiderweb, which represent the interconnected components of a global spiderweb that covers the entire planet. Nothing occurs in a vacuum; nothing happens in vain. Whatever occurs in one dimension directly or indirectly, immediately or in the longer term affects the others. Affecting the meta-sphere in a positive manner, instead of observing the cumulation of negative influences as a matter of fact, is up to us.

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Fig. 4.2

(Source Author)

Stepping into our individual and collective power to change the course of action of society, of the community which we are part of and therefore influence by everything we do and are, is a choice. Not making it, is a choice itself.

Notes 1. Even if everything is going well and successfully, this may lead to a comfort zone which may need to be expanded. Things can always be done better, faster, with more lasting impact, and joyfully. 2. Confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favour, and recall information in a way that affirms one’s prior beliefs or hypotheses. It is a type of cognitive bias and a systematic error of inductive reasoning. People display this bias when they gather or remember information selectively, or when they interpret it in a biased way. The effect is stronger for desired

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outcomes, for emotionally charged issues, and for deeply entrenched beliefs. (Nickerson 1998). 3. When Franklin Delano Roosevelt became the American president, the US was in the Great Depression. His policies tried to secure ‘freedom from want’ for all citizens. His view for the post World War II world included spreading ‘freedom from want’ throughout the world. (For an overview of his motivations see Cox 2005). The fact that so little of these ambitions has been achieved on a global scale is traced by some to the Cold War, when ‘human rights’ were equated with political rights and civil liberties in the West;—not to economic and social rights, which were associated with the values of communism. The question of categorized rights has had repercussions which resonate until today in the debate about the universality and indivisibility of human rights. The right to an adequate standard of living was not seen as the government’s special province and instead was left up to private enterprise and market forces (William 2003). 4. As stated above regarding the word Soul, the present paradigm is not related to dogma or religion. Spirituality is about one’s inner self. It is one of the four areas in which we invest our time and energy. Though, there are various definitions, being spiritual commonly involves holding one’s personal set of beliefs and practices; searching for the meaning of life. Each person’s own definition of spirituality can vary throughout their lifetime, adapting to individual experiences through personal study and selfreflection. The goal of spirituality is to realize one’s inherent power to overcome challenges and connect with something greater than oneself. It is a universal, personalized experience, and everyone’s experience is unique (Jones and Buckley 1997).

References Cahn, B. R., Polich, J. (2009). Meditation (Vipassana) and the P3a EventRelated Brain Potential. International Journal of Psychophysiology: Official Journal of the International Organization of Psychophysiology, 72(1), 51–60. Cox, M. L. (2005). Freedom from Want. Carnegie Council. https://www. carnegiecouncil.org/education/001/four_freedoms/5226. Doidge, N. (2015). The Brain That Heals Itself. New York: Viking. Festinger, L. (1962). Cognitive Dissonance. Scientific American, 207 (4), 93– 107. Jones, G., Buckley, J. (Eds.). (1997). Spirituality and Social Embodiment. Oxford: Blackwell. Nickerson, R. S. (1998). Confirmation Bias: A Ubiquitous Phenomenon in Many Guises. Review of General Psychology, 2(2), 175–220.

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William, F. (2003). The Global New Deal: Economic and Social Human Rights in World Politics. Rowman and Littlefield. Wolf, E. (2007). Introduction to the Theory of Coherence and Polarization of Light. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

Index

A Adolescence, 19, 25, 34, 128 Advocacy, 16, 73, 103, 105 Agency, 70, 80 Aspiration, v–ix, 4, 6, 8, 9, 12, 14, 15, 17, 18, 21, 23, 24, 35–39, 41, 43, 45–47, 50, 51, 58, 60, 62–66, 78–84, 101, 103, 105, 111–114, 118, 120, 121, 123, 124, 133–136, 138, 139, 144, 147–149 Authenticity, 49, 63, 71–73, 76 Awareness, vi, 4, 8, 38, 47, 50, 57, 59, 60, 62, 65, 69, 70, 73, 74, 108, 110, 114, 120, 134, 136, 138, 143–145 Awe, 62 B Behaviour, vi, viii–x, 9, 12, 23, 35–37, 39, 41, 45, 49, 50, 52, 53, 57, 61–64, 66–68, 70–79, 81–83, 87, 90, 97, 98, 101, 104, 105, 109, 111–113, 115–119, 125,

126, 128, 134–137, 140, 141, 143–145, 149 Behaviour economics, 63 Biology, 62 Body, vii, viii, 9, 13, 23, 26, 34, 35, 37, 39, 41, 42, 49, 50, 58, 61, 63, 65–67, 69, 71, 72, 86, 89, 101, 115, 121, 127, 132, 133, 138, 146

C Capability, 46 Capacity building, 122 Challenge, xi, 7, 17, 22, 27, 29, 47, 56, 59, 66, 71, 73, 113, 119, 121, 125, 127, 135, 138, 151 Choice, v, 4, 5, 9, 25–27, 34, 37, 40, 41, 43, 49, 51, 53, 56, 60, 63, 70, 90, 99, 100, 110, 117, 126, 132, 136, 146, 147, 150 Communication, 46, 105 Compassion, vii, 9, 21, 25, 27, 38, 39, 42–45, 47, 48, 64, 73, 77,

© The Editor(s) (if applicable) and The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Nature Switzerland AG 2020 C. C. Walther, Humanitarian Work, Social Change, and Human Behavior, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-45878-2

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INDEX

82–84, 100, 118–120, 124, 136, 139 Complementarity, 15, 16, 45, 70, 71, 83, 132 Complexity, 16 Connection, vii, x, 25, 27, 35–38, 42–46, 55, 58, 61, 64, 67, 74, 78, 80, 82, 83, 86, 115, 119, 123, 134, 139–141 Continuum, v, viii, 8, 11, 24, 38, 62, 105, 140, 149 Courage, xi, 6, 7, 19, 37, 72, 76, 135 Crises, 19, 29, 127 Culture change, 105 D Decision, 7, 9, 24, 25, 38, 51, 56, 57, 79, 80, 127, 143, 144, 147 Development, x, 14, 15, 20, 46, 47, 51, 74, 79, 89, 102, 107, 112, 119, 120, 127, 149 Dimension, v, viii, x, 8, 9, 14, 15, 21, 23–25, 35–40, 45, 46, 49–52, 63, 65, 71, 79–83, 85, 88, 98, 106, 109, 112, 114, 116, 119, 121, 123, 124, 126, 139–141, 145–147, 149 Discipline, 141 Dynamic, v, ix, x, 8, 9, 13, 14, 16, 18, 24, 34, 46, 47, 49, 58, 62–64, 68, 102, 105, 106, 110, 111, 113, 114, 117, 119, 123, 149 E Economy, viii, 18, 106 Emotion, v–viii, 4, 8, 9, 22–24, 35–39, 41, 42, 45, 47, 49, 50, 52, 54, 60, 63–65, 67, 72, 73, 78, 80, 81, 84, 88, 89, 105, 121, 123, 132, 138–141, 146, 147 Empowerment, 16, 60

Evolution, ix, xi, 2, 69, 98, 112, 125, 143, 144, 149 H Haiti, 16, 17, 19, 29, 34, 111, 119, 123, 128 Holistic, x, 14–16, 57, 83, 100, 101, 114, 120 Honesty, vi, vii, 18, 39, 47, 64, 83, 109, 117, 124, 135, 136 Humanitarian action, 6, 15, 105, 120, 124, 127 Humanitarian-Development Nexus, 14 Humanitarian principles, 107 Humanitarian staff, 103, 114, 120, 147 Humanity, xi, 46, 58, 104, 107, 118 Humility, 25, 39, 47, 48, 83, 86, 109, 119, 136 I Ikigai, 48, 88 Illusion, 47, 114, 124, 137 Impact, vi, viii, ix, 3, 6, 9, 11, 16, 18, 28, 37, 41, 45, 47–50, 52, 53, 60–62, 65, 66, 68, 73, 79–81, 84–87, 98, 100–102, 105, 106, 108, 110, 117, 121, 123, 127, 149, 150 Individual, v, vi, viii–xi, 8, 10–18, 21, 23, 24, 28, 29, 34, 36–38, 41, 43–47, 49, 52, 58, 62, 63, 67, 71, 74, 78, 80, 81, 89, 101, 103–109, 111–116, 118–121, 123, 128, 137, 147–151 Influence, v–ix, 8, 9, 15, 18, 21, 23, 26, 28, 35–37, 39–41, 43, 48–51, 60–65, 67, 69–73, 76, 77, 79, 80, 83, 84, 86, 89, 99, 101, 102, 104–107, 109, 114,

INDEX

115, 117, 118, 140, 144, 145, 147, 149, 150 Inspiration, 39, 60, 62, 63, 83, 122 Institution, vi, ix, 5, 13, 14, 16, 17, 22, 78, 79, 99–101, 103–106, 109, 111–114, 116–119, 123, 133, 134, 147, 149 Interaction, xi, 3, 8, 9, 13, 35, 39, 44, 49, 50, 53, 67, 78, 81, 83, 113, 124, 140, 146, 149 Interplay, vi, viii, x, xi, 9, 35, 37–39, 45, 47, 49, 60, 70, 71, 77, 78, 85, 114, 115, 123, 138

L Leadership, 7, 29, 133

M Macro, v, ix, 18, 37, 38, 47, 49, 58, 109, 123, 145, 149 Management, 18, 89, 98, 108, 110, 121, 123, 133 Meso, v, 18, 38, 47, 49, 57, 58, 105, 109, 123, 145, 149 Meta, v, 18, 38, 58, 109, 123, 145, 149 Micro, v, 13, 18, 38, 47, 58, 102, 109, 110, 123, 149 Micro-verse, 40, 112 Mind, v–ix, 7, 9, 11, 13, 17, 23–26, 34, 35, 37, 39, 41, 42, 46–48, 50, 56–59, 63, 65–67, 70, 71, 75–79, 86, 99, 105, 115, 120, 121, 124, 132, 134, 137, 138, 140–142, 146 Mood, 46, 49, 61, 65, 66, 68, 99, 117, 121

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N Non-profit organization (NGO), ix, x, 11, 22, 35, 100, 107, 108, 114, 116, 117, 119 Nudge, 90

O Optimization, 148 Organization, ix, 8, 16, 21, 37, 99, 101, 103, 104, 107, 109, 110, 112, 113, 116, 119, 120, 122, 127, 133

P Passion, 4, 14, 16, 17, 37, 40, 41, 43, 60, 64, 82, 83, 100, 117, 119, 121, 143, 147 Policy, 105, 111, 127, 151 Power, x, 15, 17, 19, 21, 22, 24, 37, 41, 43, 51, 56, 59–62, 66, 69, 80, 84, 86, 89, 90, 99, 103, 110, 111, 115, 118, 133, 143, 146, 147, 149–151 Purpose, vii, x, 35–37, 39, 40, 43, 48, 49, 53, 54, 58–60, 64, 71, 78, 80, 83, 84, 88, 109, 116–120, 126, 127, 134, 136, 137, 143, 148, 149

R Reality, vii, ix, 5, 7, 19, 20, 35, 36, 39, 49, 50, 58, 69, 74, 99, 113, 114, 121, 123, 131–133 Resource, 14, 17, 46, 47, 51, 54, 58, 80, 100, 116, 121–123 Responsibility, 3, 4, 26, 110, 114, 144

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S Social change, vi, ix, x, 15, 17, 24, 39, 45, 78, 79, 104, 128, 147 Social programme, 123 Society, ix, x, 3, 15, 19, 47, 67, 80, 88, 101, 104, 106, 111, 149, 150 Staff well-being, 120, 123

T Transformation, v, ix, x, 15, 16, 22, 42, 48, 67, 80, 99, 101, 102, 105, 108, 110, 122, 140, 149

U United Nations Children’s Emergency Fund (UNICEF), 13, 16, 107, 111, 123, 128

United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), 16 United Nations (UN), ix, x, 5–7, 11, 12, 14, 17, 21, 22, 99, 101, 103–105, 107–109, 111, 116, 119, 126, 127, 149 W Welfare, 105 Well-being, viii, 12, 15, 16, 37, 41, 44, 45, 50, 51, 55, 58, 68, 76, 83, 89, 105, 120, 123, 135, 139, 144, 146, 147 World Food Programme (WFP), 111 World Health Organization (WHO), 12, 29, 107 Y Youth, 19, 114