Hero of Batalik: Kargil War 1999

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Hero of Batalik Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey

Pawan Kumar Mishra

VL Media Solutions

Note : A part of the price money of this book will be contributed in the account of Shaheed Capt. Manoj Pandey Vidya Mandir, teaching the poorest of poor students, based at - Village Baidauli, Post Nichlaul, District Maharajganj, UP

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VL Media Solutions B-33, Sainik Nagar, Uttam Nagar, New Delhi-110059, India Phone- +91-11-64627580, 08010207580 Email- [email protected] www.vlmspublications.com

© Copyright reserved by the Author All rights reserved. No part of this book to be quoted, copied, used, or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the Author and Publisher. The Author shall be responsible for content related issues, if any. Publisher’s authentication of the content is limited to publication only. Agreement to these terms and conditions implied upon purchase of this book. Jurisdiction of Courts at Delhi only shall apply.

Disclaimer by Author All the contents of this book are written on the basis of memory of author through which he has tried to portray the heroic act of Capt. Manoj Pandey in his life. The contents of the book are kept in order to give it a positive frame to the reader. There is no intention to hurt the feelings of anybody in person or group. The contents shall also not be taken as reference of any fact.

Brief biography…..Capt. Manoj Pandey….

Contents Fore Word

1

Citation (Lieutenant Manoj Kumar Pandey)

3

Brief Biography

5

An Officer in Making (Sainik School Life)

12

Letters Written

63

Siachin Glacier and Kargil War Tenure

92

Memories of Capt. Manoj Pandey P.V.C. (The friend)

108

Personal Diary Glimpses

124

Memories of Mother (For the Son)

145

Views of Sister (For the Brother)

162

Views of Batch mates

169

Views of Teacher

170

Last Journey of Capt. Manoj Pandey

172

In the Eyes of Print Media, Lucknow

FORE WORD By the grace of Almighty God, the inspiration to write biography of my dear friend took birth because of the huge vacuum which occurred in my life due to his sudden departure. The setbacks in my life had been many but it was this incident was the watershed. I wanted a release from all those pent up feelings and emotions. I had found my reason in writing something about Manoj. This idea of writing was reinforced by the way I used to enjoy while expressing myself about Manoj to others. The die was cast with his mother too expressing her desire about a book on Manoj and according to her I was the most suitable person. She wanted every person to know about the charismatic traits with which Manoj was endowed. This was for generations to come so that they can get inspired to make their lives meaningful. I have been working on this book since 2005 and kept Mata Jee in loop. I vividly remember the way she showered blessing when I told this for the first time. I accept that a gap of a decade between the beginning of the book and its final word is a bit long but I had my own reasons to take this much of time. With time I had family responsibilities, professional commitments and to be honest at times disinterest crept in. Manoj is an icon for all of us Sainik School Lucknow cadets. So, whenever anyone of them used to know of this idea they used to express happiness and used to says that it is the best way to pay tribute to my beloved friend. Another push came when around three years back Mata Jee enquired about the status of the book. I was unable to clearly tell her that I had been not able to do much. While finishing her talk she just said “Pawan, please release this book in my lifetime.” I was jolted completely. It took a shape of a mission and I began putting my best effort. I collected my notes which I had been preparing since years. Also motivated “Aunty Ji” to pen down some events of life of Manoj but for her it was a herculean task. One can very well understand the mental state of a mother who is asked to write about her beloved son whom she had lost. Still she did her best. Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 1

Even Babita, Manoj’s sister chipped in with a chapter on her “Dadda”, as she used to call Manoj. Indispensable inputs came from some of my Sainik School friends like Mayank Singh, K.M. Singh, Ajeet Singh, Sandeep Pandey, Prashant Srivastava, Amit Srivastava, Akhilesh Singh, Chandan, Virendra Joshi, Neeraj Nidhi and Aseem. They all expressed their admiration for the effort. In the series of effort in finding out the war time details I tried to meet some soldiers of Gorkha Regiment. I must give a special thanks to Brigadier Asthana, who had served with Manoj during his last days of action and was very appreciative of all the acts and valours of Capt. Manoj Pandey. He could not stop talking about this noble soul. I am also thankful to V.L. Media Solution which assured me of giving this all writing the shape of a book. My dear Upasainian friend Mayank Singh has an important contribution in making this book a reality. I cannot thank much to my wife Dr. Pallavi Mishra and my kids Nav and Swadha who stood by me and let me invest the important time which otherwise was theirs. Their unconditional support was of utmost importance as I was able to focus and work late night. With all regard to my parents; I dedicate this book to the Parents of Capt. Manoj Kr Pandey and Babita, Sonu and Mohit. Thanks to my Alma matter UP Sainik School, Lucknow which gave me this opportunity to spend my best year of life with this great human and soldier. All comments and suggestions are welcome for the improvement of this book, if anybody has. Please mail me at [email protected].

Thanks Pawan Kumar Mishra Jai Hindi

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Param Veer Charka CITATION (Lieutenant Manoj Kumar Pandey) Lieutenant Manoj Kumar Pandey took part in a series of boldly led attacks during ‘Operation Vijay’, forcing back the intruders with heavy losses in Batalik including the capture of Jaubar Top. On the night of 2/3 July 1999 during the advance to Khalubar as his platoon approached its final objective, it came under heavy and intense enemy fire from the surrounding heights. Lieutenant Pandey was tasked to clear the interfering enemy positions to prevent his battalion from getting day lighted, being in a vulnerable position. He quickly moved his platoon to an advantageous position under intense enemy fire, sent one section to clear the enemy positions from the right and himself proceeded to clear the enemy positions from the left. Fearlessly assaulting the first enemy position, he killed two enemy personnel and destroyed the second position by killing two more. He was injured on the shoulder and legs while clearing the third position. Undaunted and without caring for his grievous injuries, he continued to lead the assault on the fourth position urging his men and destroyed the same with a grenade, even as he got a fatal burst on his forehead. This singular daredevil act of Lieutenant Manoj Kumar Pandey provided the critical firm base for the companies, which finally led to capture of Khalubar. The officer, however, succumbed to his injuries. Lieutenant Manoj Kumar Pandey, thus, displayed most conspicuous bravery, indomitable courage, outstanding leadership and devotion to duty and made the supreme sacrifice in the highest traditions of the Indian Army.

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 3

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BRIEF BIOGRAPHY Capt. Manoj Pandey was born on 22nd Feb 1974 in Rurha village of Sitapur district of U.P. He was the eldest of three brothers and one sister born to his parents, Shrimati Mohini Pandey and Shri Gopi Chand Pandey. He had unique qualities in him since childhood; he had developed pre molar teeth two months before the normal age. He always had a smiling face and special aura. Seeing all these qualities in his son, Mr Gopi Chand Pandey planned to shift his family to Lucknow to give better education and environment. But he had to face a lot of financial crisis to meet all the family needs on daily basis. So he worked harder to support them and took a rented accommodation in Daliganj area of Lucknow. His father had to do many odd jobs to provide a minimum level of basic needs yet he was happy for hw was sure that future of his children was going to be bright in this city which was of course not possible in village. Manoj was enrolled in Green Field School for his Primary Schooling. Here his teachers and school principal recognised the great talent that Manoj had and they apprised his parents for the same. His mother still remembers those black curly hairs of Manoj playing with toy gun and having a fearless, charming face. Everybody in his neighbourhood would like to play with this energetic, lovely boy. Surprisingly one day his mother had found a knife in the school bag of Manoj, and enquired him for this act. Then Manoj told her that some boys used to tease him on his way back to home from school and he wanted to give them a befitting reply with knife despite of them being quite bigger in size. This act of Manoj did make everybody know of his fearlessness and daredevil behavior. After his primary schooling, Manoj was shifted to Rani Laxmi Bai School of Rahimnagar branch; where he completed Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 5

his 6th and 7th class. At the same time he qualified for “All India Awaaseeya Exam” which was conducted by UP government to support meritorious students from state to pursue quality education in different public schools of India with hundred percent scholarships. This achievement came as a big boon in Manoj’s future as it looked after his monitory expenses. Manoj chose UP Sainik School Lucknow as his new destination for further studies and his destiny to be an army officer was shaped in this school. Manoj excelled in all fields of training being given in this great institution to develop ‘officer like qualities’. He always stood first in class, was declared best boxer of school and was adjudged the best all- rounder cadet of his batch. A rare combination of great talent he was. He excelled in the competitions among the best talents of UP who are selected to join Sainik School through a very tough competition conducted at class 7th standard. After 12th class he qualified the NDA examination in his first attempt with AIR of 50. In his SSB conducted at Varanasi in February 1993, he mentioned his ultimate aim of life as, “TO GET PARAM VEER CHAKRA”. He joined NDA Khadakwasla in 90th course in July 1993 and was allotted ‘Mike Squadron’. Here also he performed very well in all activities and was given the title of ‘most upcoming Mustang’ of his squadron. His training of becoming an army officer reached it’s epitome here only. He learnt all the fine details of skill needed to be a thorough army man. His desire to be an Army officer was such overpowering that he chose army even after clearing the Air Force SSB. After completing three years of rigorous training at NDA, he joined IMA Dehradun. In his final days in IMA, when he was asked for the choice of services in army, he filled all the three options as ‘infantry’ despite of the fact that he could have got other soft services’ as 6 :: Hero of Batalik

per his merit. So he always took a pro-active approach in making his destiny with such a great foresight. After his P.O.P. in June 1997 of IMA Dehradun, he joined 1/11 Gorkha Rifles as Second Lieutenant. He was so happy that he joined infantry and got his desired Gorkha Regiment. Manoj joined his regimental troop on 20th July 1997 somewhere in JK region. He was so happy to meet one of the senior officer of Gorkha Brig VS Yadav, a Veer Chakra winner, but another news of Lt. Puneet Dutt who got martyred on the same day, so his first hand experience of army life in insurgency operations on the ground reality was really a tough one. In few days he became accustomed to this life and even led some of the operations there successfully, as he had to take forward the legacy of Lt. Puneet Dutt who won Ashok Chakra for his ultimate sacrifice in call of duty to nation. In few months Manoj was selected for commando course in Belgaum, where he did well but missed the Instructor grade (I Grade) due to some easy going approach he adopted during the assessment tests. Then he joined Young Officers course in Mhow which gave him a different exposure to professional life of army and exposed him to the social life within the forces. After completing his two courses he was eager to join back his Unit which at the time was deployed in Siachen. While serving at the icy heights which are termed as the highest battlefield in the world he took some great initiatives. His initiatives were to improve the lives of soldiers in this toughest terrain of the world. He himself opted for one of the toughest post of Siachen, called Pehalwan Post to get a feel of ultimate tough conditions. He had a passion to do the toughest task on priority. Seeing his exemplary devotion to the service of nation, senior officers of Manoj recommended his name for ‘Shaurya Chakra’ in Jan 1999. After Siachen tenure Manoj came on leave Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 7

to his home, where his parents were eagerly waiting him. One can understand the anxiety of his parents who were not much aware of his well being for in those days communication was very difficult. This was the last visit of Manoj to his home. He fully enjoyed the Holi festival with his friends and family members. By this time parents had started receiving proposals for his marriage. In mid March of 1999 he joined back his regiment which was on the way back from Siachen and was heading for their peace posting to Pune. On the way back the Unit camp was laid at Nubrah region of Laddakh. Manoj, an amiable personality, got mingled with local people and the children of this region became his fan. Manoj used to frequently arrange games and functions for the local people and also used to distribute sweets and chocolates. He was like the ‘Pied Piper’ for the people. By this time a different destiny was being written somewhere close, in the region of Kargil. Then, came the news of Pakistani soldiers occupying key heights along National Highway which became famous as the NH 1. It was in the first week of May 1999 and Kargil, Drass and Batalik sectors have since then got etched into the memories of every Indian. Government declared it as a war against Pakistan. Gorkha Rifles was given the task to clear the enemy from Batalik Sector. Initially, Indian army faced tough resistance from enemy and suffered heavy casualties. This brought out the ferocity in the soldiers against their enemy well entrenched in those heights. While operations were being conducted all over these Gorkhas managed initial breakthrough in Batalik Sector. Manoj always led his troop from the front and he soon became a favourite choice for leading majority of operations of Gorkhas. He recaptured Kukarthang, Jubar Top and many others during mid May to June end. The fateful mission came to clear the 8 :: Hero of Batalik

crucial heights of Khalubar Hills. Enemy had constructed very strong defence against any assault and some earlier attempts by our army had failed to uproot the perpetrators. The ferocious Gorkhas were assigned this task in the leadership of Commanding Officer Colonel Lalit Rai and Captain Manoj Pandey led the final assault. This Operation was the manifestation of the qualities of a complete leader which involved quick decision, decision under high stress, fulfilling the responsibility of the safety of men with the total disregard to one’s own life. His troops started their operation on first of July, and they had to walk through the tough terrains when enemy was raining bullets from all direction. Who will believe that these men were exposing their own positions to make the enemy fire upon them so that he is exposed. It was on the evening of 2nd July that these men reached the base of Khalubar Hill. Here their commanding officer briefed them about the enemy on the top and the needed plan of action to complete the operation. Manoj chose to lead his troop from the direction which evens the master tacticians of military would have avoided. He divided his men in two parts to capture the bunkers. By this time enemy was well aware and fire started coming from the morning of 3rd July. Hawaldar Bheem Bahadur led from right and Manoj from the left side. He successfully cleared the first bunker; seeing this act, his Jawans also got charged up and they easily captured the 2nd bunker. In this second assault Manoj got injured in his shoulder. His commanding officer told Manoj not to go ahead and risk his life, but Manoj told him that he is not going to come back without completing his mission. Manoj advanced towards the third bunker and cleared it also by fighting one to one with enemy using his Khukri and gun. By the time he was going to lob a grenade on the 4th bunker, one fatal shot hit Manoj on his head, but Manoj had thrown the grenade in this bunker before succumbing to injuries. “Na Chornu” were the last words by this Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 9

brave officer to his men. Seeing this the men went berserk with anger to avenge the loss of their leader, friend and philosopher. By the morning of the 4th July tricolor was hoisted majestically on those heights of the Khalubar hill. This operation is a legend into the annals of the Indian Military. It was affirmed with the award of the highest gallantary in the Indian Armed Forces the “Param Veer Chakra” posthumously. This way our Indian Army lost one of the most talented and upcoming young officer, who had all the qualities of any potential General rank officer. His Gorkha regiment was also honoured with the title of. “BRAVEST OF THE BRAVE”. Salute to this brave hero and Indian army. And, the story begins…….. JAI HIND

10 :: Hero of Batalik

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 11

An Officer in Making (Sainik School Life) Cadet Manoj Kumar Pandey (School No. 1448) In the month of April-1988; at Pant House of U.P. Sainik School Lucknow; time is “Games period”. Today we are all busy in returning our books, and other articles issued by school, our final exams of class VII are over. And everybody is preparing to go back home after completion of the first year in Sainik School Lucknow. One of my classmates comes to me and asks: How are you. You did not join any of games today; why? Just not feeling well today; I replied. He said, “You always stay aloof and quiet and you don’t have any friend. But I find you a very decent and hardworking. Do you have any problem or any issue with someone or something within or beyond school, can you share that with me? May be I can help you. He added further “Can we be good friends beyond just being batch-mates?” I was hesitant still reluctantly nodded in positive. I never knew that it was the beginning of a lifelong bond. That’s how friendship between me and Captain Manoj started. We started going to play football and began to join rest of the routine of Sainik School together. The day after that fateful day I had to come to Gorakhpur (my hometown) by Gorakhnath Express as vacations had started. Manoj said to me “You always come late after vacations. So in the next academic session I will come early as I am from Lucknow and will get cot, almirah and all items reserved for you and will shift them at a place next to mine.”

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This was quite reassuring to me and I felt a bit at ease; I am a slow starter. In our friendship too, all the initiatives were taken by my dear friend. The time came and the next session of school started. As usual I came late by a day; but this time to my pleasant surprise all the things which are issued in school was reserved for me in Room No. 1 of Pant House. That room had a capacity for six cadets and there were only two ceiling fans. Manoj had arranged our beds in such a way that we get the maximum air from the fans. Sainik School Lucknow is the mother school when it comes to the great institution of Sainik Schools in the country. It was the first Sainik School which was started on July 15, 1965. These schools for boys are residential schools where the boys are addressed as Cadets on the pattern of Military training academies. We Cadets used to stay in six hostels where three great people of our country. These were Pant House to which I and Manoj belonged. It was named after Govind Ballabh Pant. The other two junior houses were Shashtri House named after Lal Bahadur Shastri and Nehru House in the name of Jawahar Lal Nehru. Today I remember this act of Manoj as the first gift to me and I just loved it. Later, in the day time he came rushing and said, “You know I got 1st rank in class VII”. I was a little surprised and said, “But yaar, you stood II in all the three exams, midterm I, half yearly and midterm II.” Till then Cadet Ajeet Singh had been securing first rank in our batch. But, it was the beginning as Manoj was going to thump his mark in every field. Sainik school environment is very competitive as the best brains from the various states join them. Nobody including me in my class expected him to stand first. I stood VI. This was a decent rank if seen in the context of my batch. Our batch had 90 Cadets and we were divided into three sections. This was really big as Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 13

the normal intakes in class 7th is somewhere between 45 and 50. My rank in Sainik School entrance exam was 84th. I was destined to meet Manoj. Had the size not been increased, I would have definitely missed this great man as my friend. Manoj was like whiff of optimism for I got motivated to secure top rank at least in my section of class. I was in Section C and Manoj was in A section. I was known to be a studious cadet as I used to spend most of hostel time with books. I remember my batch mates getting irritated with this habit and at times a bit irritating too. Manoj liked this habit of mine as he felt that with both of us being together our academic performance will improve. New session began on the right note. In our room of six we had Gautam Gupta, Prashant Srivastava, Rajeev Awasthi and Mohd. Shahid as our other roommates. Our school routine begins at 5. 00 a. m. in the morning and this holds true even today. First voice we used to hear was that of our house matron shouting from the gate only by calling our names individually and repeating each name at least twice like… Manoj Kr. Manoj Kr.. Mohd. Shahid.. Mohd. Shahid. Pawan Mishra.. Pawan Mishra.. get-up, get-up. Invariably, she used to warn us against getting late. Our matron Mrs. Sheelu Pandey was a decent lady. We all were well aware of her softer side and we used to enjoy her acting to be a tough matron. The routine in Sainik Schools is such that we used to get exhausted after performing the daily schedule, partly willingly and most of it unwillingly. This used to make our getting up in the morning an ordeal. We used to do everything to steal even a minutes extra sleep. We had Cadet Cadet Ashish Bhardhwaj of XI class as the House Captain. With him stayed our School vice captain Cadet Sushil Pal. Both of them used to be good friends 14 :: Hero of Batalik

and their friendship was very popular in the entire school. They were good to us also as during class VII & VIII ragging used to be on its peak. But we were lucky to have these soft hearted seniors in that milieu of very tough seniors. It is pertinent here to tell that in Sainik Schools are modelled to produce good citizens of the country and to train cadets to join Armed Forces as officers. Every activity is planned to introduce discipline, integrity and to develop an all-round personality in the cadets. Leadership is an important component. Thus, the school discipline is a responsibility of the senior most batches, Class XI and Class XII. Every House used to have an appointment from these two classes. It is the responsibility of the senior cadets in the respective houses to win various competitions. The competitions really are of high standard whether be it Academics, sports or the extra-curricular activities. During the morning P.T. session normally we went for running on our school ground & some exercise was conducted under instructions of our Physical Instructor Mr. S.P.S. Chauhan, a great enthusiastic retired navy man. At times we were made to run cross-country which used to be of 3.5 Kms for juniors up to class 9th and around 6-7 kms for seniors up to class 12th. Cross Country Trophy was of one of the most coveted after Academics, Cock House (Well Kept House), Debate and Dramatics. Ofcourse, athletics, football, Hockey, Basketball and other games were fought fiercely to get the first position. I was good at cross country and secured 14th position on the final day in Class VIII. It was way behind my expectations as I had set a target of nothing less than 1st. This was because I always stood 1st or 2nd during practice session. Manoj was beyond 20 ranks I suppose. I was dejected. But with time and due to busy routine it was washed out of memory. Then, there were so many other very interesting activities which we used to do all the year round. Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 15

School ensures that every cadet speaks from the stage at least once in a week. Facing Stage often used to induce fear. We both began reciting Shlokas in the morning assembly. This way we started coming up on the stage. Manoj opted for music in hobby class and I moved to the band group. He started learning Harmonium. At times, that lilting tune starts on its own in my ears as he the first song which he learnt and used to like lot was “suraj ki garmi se, tapte hue tanko, ml jaye taruar ki chhaaya…”. He had given me also some tips. These are the only two lines I can play even now on harmonium. Shastri House, Nehru House & Pant House were the junior level hostels. And Kidwai, Tandon and Sampurnanand were the senior level hostels. This arrangement was to ameliorate the effect of ‘Extra Drill’ on the junior batches. Such arrangements help in infusing a sense of discipline in a school where the highly active 300 boys stay together. In fact, ours was the first batch with which this junior wing and senior wing were separated. Sainik School Lucknow had Wing Commander S. S. Dubey as the principal at that time. He is a great orator, thinker & man of disciplined. Manoj had joined the Sainik School through “Awaseeya Pariksha” system which U.P. government used to conduct during those days for awarding free boarding & schooling to meritorious students from different public schools throughout India. He was selected for U.P. Sainik School Lucknow and Morarji Desai School Bombay. His parents, Sri Gopi Chand Pandey & Mrs. Mohini Pandey decided to admit their child to U.P. Sainik School Lucknow. But, Manoj was a bit disappointed with the fact that he would have got a chance to move to a new city had he been admitted to Morarji Desai School. But, staying in Lucknow had its advantages with the bigger one being he able to go to school during weekends. We 16 :: Hero of Batalik

all used to be jealous of cadets who belonged to Lucknow as we could visit our home only during long duration holidays. Manoj had two uncles in Lucknow who used to visit school frequently to meet him. It was during these visits of his family members I gradually started knowing his family members. Our family backgrounds were quite similar. The Cadets in school were from wide variety of social and economic background. The children from royal families to those from farmers’ families have studied together and have excelled in life and have reached to very high and respectful positions, all courtesy this great institution. Our room was also a mix of this social milieu. In our room no. 1; we all more or less were of the same physical stature except for Cadet Rajeev Awasthi. He was quite mature and used to throw his weight upon us. One day he slapped Gautam to wake him up for games period. Seeing this we all were scared. Gautam cried very badly and this made us all feel bad. Gautam used to be comparatively weak physically. Rajeev was nicknamed as ‘Tau’. We all got together one day and decided to not let this repeat whether with Gautam of for that matter with any other Cadet. Next time when Rajeev tried to bully we all united and scuffled with him. Manoj had galvanized all of us to initiate the counter-attack and had fuelled courage to revolt against every such act. Today, we all laugh together on our childish acts. Things were sorted out and our exams were approaching. There was a good synergy among us and studies progressed in right direction. This year our House appointments had changed with Cadet Pushpendra Gupta and Cdt. Anand Jain coming as our new House Prefects. Both were from class XI. The senior most in the House was House Captain Ashish Bhardwaj. This year Cadet Bhardwaj started a new practice in the house that of making English speaking compulsory. And if anybody was Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 17

caught speaking Hindi he was penalized with 25 paise per sentence. An accounts book was made with the name of every Cadet of Pant House. The sole aim of this new practice was make every Cadet practice spoken English. In order to ensure this our Prefects used to make surprise inspections and also used to stand outside the rooms after dinner and counted the no. of Hindi sentences spoken by us. After dinner period time used to be most relaxed time by when all the school activities used to come to an end and the boys were supposed to do their self study within the House premises. And this surprise check resulted into monetary punishments for most of us. But, what we gained has been with us since then; we improved our spoken English. And Pushpendra Gupta sir in the process invented one or the other way to take out money from us. But Manoj and myself used to prefer physical punishment rather over monetary because every penny for us was like a coin of gold. The time used to fly at supersonic speed. Our first term exams of class 8th were conducted in September1988. Our preparation had begun one month in advance. We studied so hard that the whole syllabus got covered within one week and much before the exams started. It is immaterial to mention that Manoj not only prodded us into completing our routine but also had set a time-table for the syllabus to be completed. Both of us secured First Rank in our respective sections and over all topper was Manoj. And it was the first time that I had come first in my class. I attributed this to Manoj. Actually Manoj was a fantastic planner. He used to plan things by analyzing the long term effect. Soon the most awaited cross country final run took place and in the junior section comprising of classes Seventh, Eighth and Ninth, Manoj got 21st th rank, mine was 14 and Cadet G.K. Yadav stood first. But, the cross country used to be just the beginning heralding the flurry of inter-house competitions for later time of the session.

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The calendar was set and every cadet was made to participate in one or the other activity and competition. These competitions used to produce heroes and icons and we used to revere these achievers in various fields. The legends used to be narrated about our previous seniors those who had left the school. One story which used to be often repeated to juniors was that of Madam Thomas. We were told that she was a House Matron and had died in the campus and had become a ghost. We were told that she is often seen roaming around in the campus in the dark of the night and at times tries to talk to the boys. We were scared to go alone to even toilet after 10 p.m. One night I heard a loud noise of water pouring in the dustbin of our room. And then after mustering some courage when I went to see it, I found that someone had peed in it. Later we got to know that one of the cadets was so scared to go to the loo that he could not stop himself from relieving in the dustbin. The shadow of fear was so overpowering that we used to form a group and then used to go to relieve ourselves. The condition of Cadet Manoj was no different. He used to force me to accompany him up to the toilet area. But, who was aware that this boy could be “Param Veer” of our nation one day. Every day in the school used to be full of lots of activity. Soon after the exams we all were waiting for our education trip. Every class in the school is taken for an education trip which for every class is different. In the month of October our educational tour was scheduled for Rajasthan under the guidance of our Hindi teacher. Our tickets were booked in Marudhar Express which used to start from Lucknow. We had reached Jaipur in the afternoon time. This time Manoj and myself used to arranged our beds side by side. This was not so during the tour of 7th class when we had gone to Dehradun, Rishikesh, Haridwar & Mussorie.

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During these tours, we always used to form a group while shopping and targeted a single shop with at least 20-25 members. And some of us took the advantage of this rush for picking up some items at no cost. I stole a “Thakur Ji” stone during my Rishikeh visit and it’s still at my home. But this time while starting the excursion my friend Manoj convinced me so well that we did not pick up a single item during the whole tour. But the top scorer in this act was our dear friend Gautam, very naughty, sharp but with poor physical strength. On returning from tour when Gautam displayed us his remarkable collection, then Manoj & I both taunted him so much that he distributed all his articles stolen to who so ever wanted them. The most striking item was Victory tower of Ranthambore. We had seen a movie ‘Vijay’ in the grandest picture hall of that time ‘Rajmandir’. One of our friends Cadet Amit took away a bag from a shop and to be followed by a shopkeeper to make Amit run the race of a lifetime to finally dodge the chaser. In the midst of all these thrills we visited Jaipur, Udaipur, Chittorgarh, Sainik School Chittorgarh, Rani Padmini ka mahal, Jai Ban canon and it was quite a memorable tour for us. Usual routine followed after the tour. In between Manoj had excelled in maths. The maths teacher Mr. Swaroop had become a fan of him to the extent that the day he was late in class due to any reason, Mr. Swaroop would not start his lecture. Whereas for me maths was like a nightmare. I managed good marks due to very good score in other subjects. But my friend, Manoj was equally in all the subjects. I remember in one of the exams he scored less marks in Sanskrit, he worked so hard in Sanskrit that next time he ensured highest marks in same. Nothing could stop him from attaining anything he wanted to. He always planned and tried not just hard but harder. Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 21

He was a great sports man, a great footballer, a good boxer, a very good table tennis player, even excellent in carom and chess too. Sometimes on seeing his perfection in all sorts of activities I got annoyed but at the same time also felt lucky to have such a good friend with me. In T.T. and carom he was ambiguous; means he played equally well with both hands. And I used to try very hard to come up to his level and sometimes if I performed better, he would say “practice makes a man perfect”. He always liked my hard work and disciplined routine. We used to be ragged by our seniors quite often. But by now we had also become a class senior to extract some kind of revenge frustration. We had also learnt some tactics to escape the seniors & their unwelcome orders for example say 100 yards away we used to start limping, showing headache or going to parents/local guardians so that our seniors could not point us out for any sort of nonsense work, like fetching glass of water, taking their clothes for altering or shoes for mending etc. This year Manoj participated in boxing competition also. He fought well and got the winner cup in his weight category. But I was very scared to put on the boxing gloves. What I find now that I was always in a defensive mode in all the activities. In football, hockey, volley ball I always played at second line only. But my dear friend Manoj always took the forward position in all the games. Playing safe was not in his nature. Then terminal exams came & Manoj performed as usual to attain first rank. One more interesting thing about him was; he never ragged any junior in during entire 8th class duration, just opposed to all other batch-mates who had become seniors this year, fuelled with the josh of seniority; harassing the VII class students had become a trend to satisfy one’s ego. I also used to rag the juniors of VII class despite the fact that I was one of the least ragged students in VII class. I just got the benefit of my 22 :: Hero of Batalik

innocent looks and studious nature. But my friend Manoj was one of the most ragged students; just because of his dynamic activities and rebellious nature. I remember in 8th class. ’on the spot’ painting competition was organized. Manoj drew the portrait of our registrar at that time. But I chose one ‘class nd session’ as my topic, and I got the 2 rank. Here Manoj appreciated my quality of choice, as it was simple to draw & more dynamic. Because drawing a portrait is a difficult task. What I mean to say is that we did not copy each other’s acts 100% and used to take our own independent decisions though the dynamic initiatives taken up by Cadet Manoj used to affect other’s decision easily. The 8th class was mixed experience, as we were not the junior most class now. Then we entered class IX, a great year for Capt. Manoj. This year he got the attention of whole school in some of the events. First thing that turned positive for us was that for the first time IX class was kept in junior houses only; and so we got the benefit of being seniors of two batches in the junior hostel without a senior lot above us. In addition the house appointments were also chosen from IX class. Capt Manoj became our house prefect. I did not get any position despite the fact that other appointments were not as good performers as me in the activities of school. But neglecting Manoj’s performance was just impossible, a ‘shining star’. But at least I had this consolation that my best friend is our appointment, and I will get the benefit in some other way. This act of new appointments by the school authorities was aimed at reducing the ragging system at the junior level. As the no. of drop outs in VII class had increased substantially during the last two years. But our dear seniors of 10th, 11th, 12th class out rightly rejected this act of the principal as it was against the normal culture of appointing only XI & XII class cadets for these house positions. Rather it invited Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 23

a lot of wrath from our senior’s side and we were ragged more frequently by our higher class seniors and especially our immediate seniors i.e. X class cadets. Because they faced the hardships of being junior most for consecutive two years and we enjoyed the senior student rank for continuously 2 years. Frequent tussles were broken out with our X class seniors and my dear friend also took part in defying the orders of X class seniors as he enjoyed the power of appointment also. It was the rule in our school that the appointments (irrespective of their class) could not be ragged by the seniors. This law gave our batch a soft but solid tool to revolt against the wrong activities of our seniors. These frequent scuffles made maintaining good discipline in the school more difficult. Subsequently this rule was rolled back and the appointments of our batch had to shed their positions yet it certainly gave us a taste of successful fight against the rigorous ragging system prevalent at that time. Let me remind you that in any other institute (educational) ragging exists just for 2-3 months. But here in our school the cadets had to undergo these hardships from seventh to 10th class. And during this small tenure of 2-3 months of appointment ship Cadet Manoj got a lot of attention from our batch and even our seniors came to know about his fighting spirit against anything wrong happening around. This year Captain Manoj surprisingly got 1st rank in cross country championship in the junior section although I was one of the most favourite for the said event even this time. it showed a great quality of performing above one’s own best level, when the time demanded so. He had some inbuilt quality to do better than normal routine work; at the eleventh hour. Our new house prefects were cadet YPS Negi and Cadet Saroj Kr. Mishra. The first one was really a brilliant chap; a great all-rounder. But he was equally notorious for various styles of 24 :: Hero of Batalik

harassing the juniors. Anyhow we liked him for his good qualities. And it was not so easy to bluff him with silly excuses. On the other hand my dear Saroj Mishra was equally innocent. Our first house prefect Mr. Ashish Bhardwaj who later became house captain also, got through N.D.A. and we became quite motivated. All these achievements of our seniors were like array of hope for us among all the hardships we faced in our school. Ninth class was like a boom year for Cadet Manoj Pandey. This year in the boxing competition he was participating in wafer weight category. He was already an established boxer in the junior section I remember a tough fight he had given to one th senior Cadet Ruchir Bajpayee even in 7 class. This year I also went for boxing competition. Just because Manoj made me think that I can also be a good boxer. But frankly I was scared to put on the gloves even; I didn’t like even the smell of those leather gloves which had some violent smell I personally felt. I started practicing with him. But my dear friend used to have real practice with Cadets who were going at least 5-6 kg above his category. A great technical expertise he had. Manoj was the winner of his category. And he fought some marvelous bouts in school. Just because the senior section boxing could not be performed in healthy manner; cadet Manoj was declared the best boxer in the school. A great honour that is bestowed upon a lucky few boxers in only in 11th or 12th class. Fortune really favoured the brave. And it was a pleasant surprise for all of us in the hostel as well as the batch. It drew a lot of attention of all the seniors of our school & cadet Manoj came out like a black horse. I thank him for getting me also winner cup in my category that year, which could not be possible without his faith in me.

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Now I had started taking him as my guru. He was perfect in understanding the situation of any kind & performing in the best possible way. We used to study hard in our house. Going for the late night study; as we were senior most class we enjoyed some liberty of having enough time for self study. We were in ‘Gole’ room of Pant House. Since there were four cadets in that room; studying under tube light was not fair so we made self styled table lamps & hung it above our study table ensuring the proper focus of light, not to disturb others. This act brought a rat race of arranging bulbs for these lamps. Some students even used bulbs of bathroom or lamp posts etc. In the mad rush of arranging bulbs for the table lamps, all of a sudden an idea struck me & I suggested Manoj that we can arrange a bulb from the shell of assembly hall. At that time buying a bulb for us away from home was not less than a silver coin so I convinced him to take that bulb after lunch time; as there was least activity at that time in that particular area. And we were smart enough to befool any class IV employee. We reached that spot at the right time. I suggested Manoj to climb up the ladder and take out that bulb. But Manoj simply refused, I felt like cheated; and then I took the initiative to bring that bulb. I took his act as a surprise. But later I realized that Manoj did not do so for his ethics did not allow him. How pure he was! Even I respected his act from my inner conscience but my greed for a bulb was more dominant at that point of time. This event made me rethink about the good qualities Manoj displayed time and again. In the after lunch session we had an important activity of N. C. C. parade of army, air force and naval wings. Instructor of these streams used to come for routine drills. The main attraction of this event was issuance of the NCC leather shoes to us which could be put on even with the school uniform and to add to our 26 :: Hero of Batalik

delight used to be the refreshment in the form of delicious delicacies specially the one called GOBI(that wasn’t available anywhere outside), we got after the drill. In this aspect army wing performed all its activities in a proper way. And Manoj was in army wing only. Sometimes he used to take command of the NCC as he had a good, clean and loud voice. I preferred air wing which did all these things with no sincere efforts but with all the booties like refreshment & of course black shoes. The instructor of army wing from our school was Mr. R. P. Shukla. When I first saw him in army instructor dress I was quite surprised, his turn out was just opposite to that of a regular chemistry teacher that he was in our school. He looked like a ‘nanha munna rahi & desh ka sipahi’. One of the most punctual & disciplined teacher of our school. Every student admired him for all these qualities. He even taught us the subject with 100% honesty. Hats off to these type of great teachers who moulded the personalities of great people like Capt Manoj into the finest possible shapes & structures. Manoj was one of the favourite students of Mr. Shukla because he was the best scholar of our batch. It was being difficult to find a single event of the school where Manoj performed below average. One interesting thing started in 9 th class, my dear friend started liking one of our batch mates Cadet Mayank Mayur. He started talking to me about Mayank a lot of things which were basically description of some good features Mayank had. Mayank was a cute boy with good I. Q and he also performed well in academics. Mayank was in Nehru House. Manoj began to study with Mayank in Nehru house only just to seek his company more. He started spending more time with Mayank thus giving a triangular shape to our friendship. But I never liked Mayank; maybe because he was more liked by Manoj. It may Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 27

also be because I had started depending upon Manoj’s company a lot. I never needed anything beyond him in most of my activities in Sainik School. Most of the students of our batch used to give lift(extra attention) to him (Mayank); just because of his cuteness(girlish beauty). Being in residential school with 100% boys’ school our age demanded some love corners also. And I remember some good pair of the so called love birds had sprouted in the school just on the emotional bonds and colours of friendship were spreading faster. Now in the month of December athletic meet happened with annual function. This year Manoj got 2-3 medals in 800m/1500m st and 4X400m relay race. And this way he proved that getting 1 rank in cross country was not by chance. Now I started following the strategy what Manoj had for these races and I also managed some medals (1-2). Being in Sainik school; and getting these medals in physical activities always placed a cadet in higher profile. So it was every body’s desire to get at least one medal. I recall now that how much hard efforts we used to put to get a single cup. I remember during boxing weighing session some of the cadets stopped taking lunch dinner one week before the weigh day. And on that day you could find almost 10-15 cadets of each house running after lunch i. e. between 2-3 football fields & sweating heavily. Furthermore 8-10 beds were put in the lawn of house with 3-4 quilts to cover you just after making 2-3 km running. Further more if you were of weight, you were put in front of a huge wood fire of mess with salt rubbed on your whole naked body. And having participated in boxing I remember it all well. Some time this weight losing activity was voluntary but it was also forced upon you if you were a reputed one (boxer). And then seniors took the charge of your weight loss exercises. I remember 1st year when Manoj was just ½ kg above the desired level our house prefect put him on so much rigorous exercise 28 :: Hero of Batalik

that Manoj reduced 2& ½ kg in just 2 hrs time. So there were different arts of losing the weight. And I calculated the price of cup was just Rs. 25 at that time. Everybody got into at least 1&1/2 month of rigorous training, just the cause being getting praise & standing on victory stand. One of our class mate Amarpratap used to lose 10 kg in this whole session and he was always winner of his weight from VII class to XI class. And he was more known for his boxing talents only. I remember after one lunch session of ninth class, we all were coming back from mess after having lunch in a group. It was a group of 10-12 cadets. When we were just entering the gate of our house; one of the cadets Sanjeev Singh had an alteration with Cadet Gautam Gupta. And all of a sudden Cdt. Sanjeev started bashing Gautam like any thing. We all helped him. But my dear Manoj could not bear this anymore and he challenged Sanjeev to stop this act. But Sanjeev did not bother and then Manoj pulled down his collar and so dual started between Manoj & Sanjeev. And Manoj punished Sanjeev with his good boxing skills. Despite of the fact that Sanjeev was equally strong as Manoj; he took up this challenge & had to bear some bruises and cut marks. This event really put Manoj on higher platform in our eyes. Actually Sanjeev was beating Gautam regularly for the last two days and yesterday only Manoj told me that if this fellow (Sanjeev) did not stop this act of bullying them he will not let him to beat Gautam. I also remember that on that day Sanjeev had given party to Manoj during prep. class in evening. And their friendship was restored & Sanjeev promised not to beat the weaker classmates anymore. Actually S. K. Singh had a tendency of terrorizing the weaker classmates and kept on fighting with whom he was comfortable to fight with. If he was overpowered then he went for treaty and used to oblige the winner with a good tea. He Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 29

always projected him as a true thakur’ a warrior race in ancient times’. His actions were more or less hypocritical only. But we missed this guy in some mela of his village mysteriously. He was the same guy who was given house captainship in IX class of our house. Just because of his outspoken & dominant nature. Manoj was also known for not harassing juniors for his own sake or making use of them. And even he used to console them if the junior was beaten up by any of our classmates or even our seniors. He had a great sense/strength of being just to anyone. The great performances that Manoj showed in IX class really made me ask him one day that which magic act made up his performances going great like this. Then he told me that before any of the major event he would gulp 2 unboiled eggs just 10 minutes before. And I thought to take up this act in my schedule also. This year our Pant House batch of IX class was really a bunch of some great performances. We had 5-6 key performing cadets which made us lift the championship trophy for Pant House; first time in history. We had some great performers like Amar pratap, Rajeev Awasthi (athletics), Kishore Singh (sports), S.K. Pandey In the IX class I remember a football match we were playing against Nehru house. Generally the players of Nehru house were physically stronger than us and their mode of winning the game was going with a lot of shoulder pushes or deliberately hitting at the legs. We were bit scared but the game was to be played with full effort. We had the best goalkeeper in all the three houses i. e. Kishore Singh. In this match on direct kick was awarded to Nehru house against us. They had cadet D. K. Chadha, a perfect player for accurate shots. He kicked the ball so accurately that it just entered our goal post which was beyond our heights to stop it. And our best goalie Kishore Singh was also helpless. But suddenly the ball rebound back from inside by somebody’s head return. And surprisingly this boy was again 30 :: Hero of Batalik

Manoj Pandey. Thank god how he was just at the right place to hit it at right time; a really great sixth sense he had. Our dear friend S. K. Pandey was also a good football forward player and good athlete. I remember him for his perfect shots and true sportsmen qualities. He also used to give us a lot of sermons and preaches. That is how to be good and well behaved person. And we used to take his sermons lightly and sometimes he got annoyed with us. By this time I felt more and more inclined towards Manoj but some of my classmates told me that I put blind faith in Manoj. But I could not stop this act. It was just natural and from the core of my heart. In the IX class only one day we planned to see a movie in town. And for that one day condolence happened in our school. We took permission from our house captain Y. P. S. Negi to see movie. He allowed us only with the condition to provide him a packet of maggi. We went to ‘Krishna’ talkies in Alambagh and had seen ‘tridev’ movie there. The first movie we saw together in cinema hall. Manoj also used to visit his home generally on weekends as his family was in Daliganj only. After coming back from his home Manoj used to talk a lot about his neighbourhood. He used to tell that all the families were very close to each other and it was like a big joint family. There were lots of children and they all used to play together. That was the time when people used to hire Video Cassette Players (VCP) to watch movies and it was very common in Manoj’s neighbourhood. One family used to hire a VCP and rest of the families were invited to watch a number of movies run simultaneously. Amidst all this happy things there was an aspect of this neighbourhood which he always dislike. The people there did not understand the importance of education and there was none who cleared High School exam in his or her first attempt. To them career was one of the option not the priority. And there th was nobody in his neighbor who would have passed 10 in his Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 31

first attempt. For Manoj career was his priority and the best tool to achieve this was his education. Due to his sincerity and focused approach he was like by all in his neighbourhood. For Manoj, there was no difference between one human and the other, at least not in social and academic parameters. He had lots of friends there. But one day Manoj, while talking about his friends there said something which made my day. This came as a big relief to me. I have always considered Manoj to be my best friend. But, Manoj never said this to me. On that day when he was narrating about his friends from Daliganj he told that they all inquired about his best friend. Manoj said that he took my name. It was like the approval I received from him which I always expected. So, gradually our friendship was getting strong. Meanwhile, Manoj was performing well in every field. This year on the national science day Manoj was selected to attend a function at Science Centre in Aliganj, Lucknow and he was given two books which were about improving life and performing better. We both used to enjoy it together, page by page. Manoj has been doing things which were emulated by others. He used to follow a meticulous routine in his life and it was complimented well by his immense pool of energy in him. He had an uncanny skill with everything he did. He used to whistle with all his ten fingers in ten different ways. Once he decided to learn Table tennis and within days he was defeating the best players of the House. Cadets used to play Table Tennis post dinner and at times after completing their nigh study. He was a quick learner. IA jam-packed talent in a single person. I am sure nobody would believe that Manoj was gifted with so much of innate talent if one has not met him. But there was one thing about his appearance which had earned him a unique nickname.

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Our School has a tradition of giving a nick name to each and every person in the school and this included our school staff. If registrar was ‘Rajjo’ then Principal was ‘Pillu’. Manoj had some grey hairs thus he was called as ‘buddha’. Gradually this name was distorted to ‘Dhab’. This nickname was shared by one of our History teacher, Mr HD Puri. He was the Hagrid of our school very big in size and shared very good relationship with the students. Hagrid is the name of the character that was very big in size and was every ready to help Harry Potter and the students in the movie titled as ‘Harry Potter’. Mr Puri liked Manoj but He was the favourite student of our Geography teacher, Mr Sohal. She used to address her favourite students as the ‘Raja Beta’. We have never come across very few ladies as gorgeous as Mrs Sohal. We used to enjoy her class very much. She used to simplify the lessons, read out the book and used to translate difficult sentences in Hindi. She was a woman with a good sense of clothes and a keen eye for nice things. She used to enjoy talking about her tasteful clothes and accessories. But, at times she used to get angry. She once came to the class wearing a golden wrist watch which was beautiful. When one of the cadets enquired she told that it was a gift from her husband which he bought in Nairobi. She had relatives in many foreign countries. Sometimes she used to beat us with her big pointer. But, it was all with good intent. We all enjoyed her subject and wished to be her ‘Raja Beta’. This all made our whole year a fun. The year 1989 was remarkable year for Manoj. His hard work and some good luck had by now established him as the most upcoming cadet of our batch. With our High School approaching we had a lot of apprehensions in our mind. It was also because we were to shift to senior houses with the senior most classes in the same house. We were going to be the junior most thus ending our liberty and freedom which we had been enjoying till now. By this time we had become curious about girls. Our topics of discussion used to veer around girls and Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 33

marriage. Our school is a boy’s residential school thus our interaction with the girls used to be minimal. Those few who had their initial schooling in coeducation schools had chances of having girls as their friends. For many boys who were from the rural background these topics drew curiosity. The questions in our mind were; what will happen if we all will not qualify NDA entrance, what kind of girls will marry us, how to approach the girls who used to come for various competitions like debate, speech and also girls used to come from co-ed schools which used to have football matches with us. We used to get emotional about actresses. Admire their beauty and used to be curious about those short dresses and the love scenes. Wed to wake till late just to watch Friday movies. The desire to be independent and to assert our freedom and identity we used to at times dare to defy our immediate seniors. This at times led to some tension between the two batches. The permission to watch television was given for only fixed programmes but it’s exposure played a big role in shaping our thoughts. A serial titled ‘Param Vir Chakra’ was telecasted during our time. Every episode was dedicated to one gallant soldier who had been bestowed with the highest gallantry award of India. It was telecasted on Sunday at 10 am and one was sure to find every cadet in the Entertainment Room of the respective houses. The story lines used to be so gripping that cadets used to watch the TV screens as if they were bound by some spell. Once the serial was over we all used to sit and analyze the heroic deeds and the way the Param Virs used to accomplish their tasks with many sacrificing their lives in the process. We all used to sit and make comment as if we were some master strategists and tactic experts. Manoj also used to chip in with his boastful comments! Who knows, Manoj was the only one with the foresight to comprehend the requirement of such situation. Manoj had chosen his favourite enemy in the Chinese Army. The stimuli behind all this was his belief that the Chinese betrayed us in 34 :: Hero of Batalik

1962. This serial also generated a fetish in all of us for a muscular physique. We all got inspired by the character of Major Shaitan Singh which was played by Puneet Issar. As was shown in the serial, Major Shaitan Singh used his rifle first to kill the enemy and the bullets were exhausted he used the bayonnet and took life of many enemies in the duel with his sheer muscle power. We all started looking for secret behind such bulging muscles. Manoj had read somewhere that the use of Langot (Loin Cloth) was one of the ways to preserve vital energy in the body. Brahmacharya was also another rule we all decided to follow. We all used to find time to do extra exercise in addition to that which we used to do as part of school routine. Wrestling was also in our exercise routine because in one of the episodes the soldier was shown to be fond of wrestling. Myself, Manoj and Kishore Singh were of identical physique. In all these exercises I used to do well and in the heart of the heart used to self admire. We also started using energy tonic. Manoj used to take Cinkara and used to tell that it kept him energetic and alert for the whole day. I used to doubt the effectiveness of his this claim. He also used to apply black shampoo in his hairs as they were turning grey. These things were sent by her mother who used to be very careful about his health. His head was a little different from others. It was protruded at the back with people saying that it meant that the size of his brain was bigger then the rest. One amusing that happened that my hairs also started turning grey. To this Manoj said that it all was because of me sharing his comb. To tell the truth I used to like my this look as it made us both look similar. We shared similarities in food habits as well. We both were fond of eating the food which was served t us in the Mess. I can vouch for the quality of our school food. Infact, I always remember the first day when we were served Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 35

meal in the mess. There were so many items which we had seen for the very first time and had not even heard of them. The registrar of our school was present in the mess to take the cadets feedback about the food. I had happily told him that food was really good. In the dinner I ate rice, dal, vegetable, custard and many more items which I was unable to tell because I did not know their name. This was true for many boys as most of them had tasted this much of items for the first time. We were regularly briefed about manners and etiquette which involved table manners, ways to handle crockery and cutlery, the way to request for extra food, the manner to talk with the other cadets. This would have never happened but for this school. During the meal we used to be together and incase one was late then the other used to lay the plate. The cadets used to criticise me for my behaviour and used to call me an imitator. But it all made hardly any difference because we both were doing well together. But when it came to defy the immediate seniors we all used to get together. As we were the biggest batch of our time we tried at times to defy the orders of our immediately senior batch. Ajeet Tiwari, SK Pandey and Manoj along with few more were at the forefront. But whenever we were caught by seniors we were punished badly to set an example for others to not dare to defy the orders. We at times complained to the Principal after which few cadets from the senior batch were suspended from the school. Once the School Captain summoned our entire batch to Tandon House. Kidwai House and Tandon House are made a little away from the main block of school. We were made to do ED because several incidents of indiscipline were reported because of this tussle between our two batches. Our batch of 75 was asked to bend down and each one of us got hit by sticks on our back. While we were being hit, one senior found out that SK Singh was wearing layers of clothes under the school uniform. Later he was called separately and was given extra punishment. I 36 :: Hero of Batalik

disapproved such punishment. I would like to acknowledge that this was putting a negative effect on the cadets. Once I was slapped in IX class for coming late in games period due to which I could not hear clearly for 10 days. And to few other it could be even worse. But, goal for all was clear: to join National Defense Academy In July 1990, our batch was shifted to our corresponding senior hostels with Pant cadets going to tendon House, Nehru to Kidwai and Shashtri to Sampurnanad House. Again, like in class 7 we were given dormitories. Kidwai House and Tandon House are in the same building with Tandon being on the first floor. Our beds were next to each others. At the beginning of every class the best things used to be picked by those who used to come to school early. It included beds, chairs, tables and the best location under the fan or infront of the window. The building of these houses is in middle of a huge field so evening breeze is very cool and comforting. One problem we faced in this dormitory was insects entering through the windows because of the tube-light. So we used to switch off our lights after changing into our night suites and used to sleep early. The batch got settled in the new place. It was the first time that entire our entire class of the House was staying together in one place. We were a better lot in the terms of homogeneity and performance at house levels. It was because we all had fought together and competed together to make our previous house a Champion House. This had generated a lot of expectation in the seniors from us. We began to focus on our studies. The first thing we all did was to buy a table lamp. So that you can make your own self study without inviting insects for your neighbor. I remember one of my senior Mr. Solanki once asked me about my preparation of 10th class. And I told it was going well. Then the next question was; whether I bought one table lamp or not. And by my negative response he got doubtful Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 37

about my good studies. And then I bought one lamp also next day. In IX class also Manoj came first in our batch but I could not manage under three ranks. So Manoj advised me to concentrate more on studies. I took his suggestion like order and st worked really hard with the result I managed 1 rank in quarterly exam of X class. This year one of our friend cadet Sunil Kumar Pandey was determined to perform well in studies. I remember him seeing studying till three am and at time till four am. During classes eighth and ninth he had focused on sports and games. This time he was warned by his parents. Kishore Singh started following the same routine as that of Manoj so that he could manage more than 60percent marks in boards. Till now he had never focused on his studies and once he did he succeeded in scoring very good marks. We were pleasantly surprised to know that SK Pandey scored 79 percent which was considered very good at that time. But the topper of our batch was Cadet Vivek Mishra from our house only. A cadet will cool temperament and very friendly behavior who had joined school after holding rank in national level merit exam. He was a very intelligent and hard working guy. According to Manoj, Vivek did everything in excess be it studies or it was sports. I remember Vivek as he boy who always used to wear clean and shining white PT shoes every morning. But to achieve this he used to rub his shoes so much that they used to get torn very quickly. Manoj could not get 1st rank because during the board exam he was afflicted with chicken pox. He was relieved from hostel and was allowed to give exams by staying at home. But otherwise he performed very well in other activities of the school this year also. First of all he came 1st in cross country of senior section. This time he was so much emotional by my repeated failures in cross country attempt of 8th& 9th class that he advised me to follow the same trend what he was opting in cross country race. He even said that he can stop for me to make me reach in first place if I was running at 2nd or 3rd rank. All these statements 38 :: Hero of Batalik

made me to look at him with high regard. Because we were all good competitors but above it all we two were the best friends also. He changed my strategy of running in cross of first going slow then fast into first running fast and then continue to max. extent i.e. to take the lead first and then to maintain the lead till last. It really did magic for me and I followed the same strategy. I remember that morning in the ground, we were in yellow vests of Tandon house. First of all w took two raw eggs (unboiled) just 10 min before the event. What Manoj said it gave good energy. We ran far earlier and to my surprise I was just following Manoj nd in this race. And I got 2 rank. So I got this medal after 3 years th th and two consecutive failures in 8 & 9 class. He made it happen for me also. I thanked him a lot of time. I started having more and more faith in him because he converted me from a loser to a winner with some good planning and real guru of my life. One more interesting thing happened with us in 10th class, that we four, Manoj, Gautam, Kishore and me were the cadets always joining parade of our house in first file i. e. first row. So a complex of being short height started haunting us all. We always used to hang from the walls of our bathrooms for 10-15 minutes before going for bath. But one day Manoj suggested us to take some tablets so that our heights could be increased. But I did not join them as I was not very sure of their idea. But all three of them took those tablets for a week but later they had to quit it because all of them started getting itching on their whole body and later on they realized their mistakes. And it really became a funny event for others to see it happen. Every day we used to measure our heights and tried very hard to increase it. But to challenge the natural process was not so easy. But later on we were very much comfortable with what the height God blessed us with. And Manoj used to say that Napoleon and Hitler were also short height. And God sends good things in small packages only.

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 39

th

In 10 class, we were the junior most in our house. So there was a lot of pressure from our seniors also. And since our school captain cadet Gaurav Aggarwal was also from same building i. e. Kidwai House; so we had to be more disciplined. And extra drill sessions happened quite frequently. Sometimes we were beaten like animals with iron rods. But our house captain Cadet D.P. Singh was quite helpful and never disturbed us unnecessarily. He was very much fond of Manoj Pandey. D. P. Singh was one of the best athletes we had seen in our life. A really admirable senior! And then came boxing event. For that we started preparing months in advance. Since Manoj and myself were in the same weight category i.e. Pin weight, we were made to practice with each other in front of our seniors. And especially our senior cadet Y.P.S. Negi did it to make us fight. And from the core of heart we never liked fighting each other. But the hero of this boxing event from our batch was Amar Pratap. Because he was fighting against Cadet A.V.S. Yadav of just senior batch with whom we were always in rivalry mood. So the bout between these two was much awaited one. And luckily our dear friend Amar Pratap was always the winner but the bought between them was always close contested one. This time our dear friend Mayank Mayur also participated in the same weight category. Mayank really did a great fight against one of our senior. And surprisingly he defeated that senior who was winner of his weight last year. And he was participating in boxing from last four years. Mayank did put a good show and displayed a great fighting instinct. But due to this bought Mayank was seriously injured. And he could not fight his next bout with me. I got advantage and reached final of my weight category with Manoj. To fight with Manoj was practically not possible for me. Because whatever I learnt in boxing it was because of him only. As I was didnot to put up a fight against him, the referee declared Manoj as winner. There was a risk of disqualification of

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the bout also i. e. both of us could be disqualified for unhealthy sportsmanship. During 10th class our main focus should have been towards studies. But being involved in so many activities was also the demand of our school schedule. Every day we used to play some games at least one hour. In sorts, Cadet R. K. Gusain was the best sportsman of our batch. After games we started practicing in our S.S.B. ground which had all the obstacles which are there in S.S.B. boards of army. At that time we thought nothing beyond NDA. During exam time many of us used to bring some rice from mess and used fry it on heater at night after finishing our late night study which most of the times used to stretch till three am. But this thing we were doing illegally. And later onwards it started happening at a big scale. We used to make tasty fried rice with some aloo, cauliflower, tomato etc. The mess manager in our time was nicknamed as Mr. Trimol. We called him so because he used to shout at us a lot. And that time one advertisement of this tablet used to come on TV which was applied to cool down one’s temper. He always shouted whenever we stood near big chullha of our mess for getting hot chapattis either for us or for our dear seniors. The school used to serve tea for the classes appearing for board, the classes Tenth and Twelfth. But we had less chance of getting tea because our 11th class seniors also used to share it. Our dormitory waiter was Mr. Ram Rekha who used to bring tea for us. Seeing this as a problem me and Manoj made an idea to take this tea from kettle 100 m before the hostel entry one day. But when we were trying this attempt, one of our senior saw us. And he shouted at us for doing such a cheap act just for a cup of tea. It was then we realized that getting tea in that manner was really not healthy and it was not an expected act from a cadet of Sainik School. In this way this seniority system did help us to improve our personality in many ways. Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 41

As my home was close to Nepal border, when I was coming home during Diwali he asked me for a jacket and a pair of sports shoes from Nepal. I bought them from a market at Nepal border by riding bicycle for 13km from home. I also remember in X class his uncle brought one new wrist watch for him. Seeing this I also brought an old watch of my father and started wearing it. But after some time I realized that it was really old fashioned and stopped using it further. Because one day Manoj only told me that this watch was not good. As in dormitory the no. of study hours increased due to exam pressure, we discovered a new game of hitting the bull’s eye with small plastic arrows. We used to practice it on the door of one abandoned cupboard of our dormitory. It became a good refreshing event during the study breaks. Then came athletics in December month which was one of the most awaited event of our school. For this event the invitation cards were sent to our parents to attend it. So many guardians used to come but we never called our guardians. This year also despite being in junior most class in senior section Manoj managed three medals in athletics. So Manoj was by now the star of our batch. This year our house master was Mr. Naresh Sharma. He took us for a movie on a house party day; our whole house went for it. And we saw ‘Ashiqui’ movie in ‘Mayfair’ cinema hall of Lucknow. He also was fond of Manoj. I remember he had given us Rs. 25/- each as prize money when we won I & II rank in cross country for our house. And during the school time the house spirit was always there in our mind. And every cadet’s motive was to make his house win in all these competitions. And every one of us worked hard to win events. To make our self study hours more effective we used to discover new places in our house where the disturbance was least and away from attending the call of seniors. Because this year we had 30 seniors above us and we were just 20 in number. The 42 :: Hero of Batalik

seniors used to call for silly things like bringing drinking water and tea for them. And some time they would send us to ‘Gauri’ to buy some articles for them which would certainly take 1 hr or more. Gauri is a small market close to our school. So one had to be very careful so that you are caught by any senior least no. of times. Generally in any other residential school ragging happens for 2-3 months only. But in our school it was rigorous for consecutive four years. It made us quite tactful and matured physically and mentally but some of the time it was bad impact also. So every year some students used to leave the school as they were unable to cope up with this tough life of Sainik School. Then came our board examinations, by this time we had enough preparations. But one thing we never missed was games period. Many of the students stopped coming for games just in order to devote maximum time for studies. Manoj used to say that after good play you become more active mentally. And I really found this to be true. He always played football at forward position and used to run continuously for an hour in the field. He was of the opinion that you can play good football only when you have the stamina to run continuously for 90 minutes at a stretch. And after the games period we used to go to house to bathe and get fresh and then leave for evening prep classes. I used to clear my math doubts from him. A really genius guy and math had been his favorite subject. I remember all the challenging questions in the class were frequently solved by Manoj. In the chemistry class too any question given by Shukla Sir was answered by him only. As because of chicken pox he was sent home from school, I was a bit disheartened because all my activities were so much together with him. In his absence I always felt some vacuum around me which cannot be filled up to some extent by my any other friend. He appeared for the board exams from home only. I Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 43

remember on the very first day of board exam, our house matron Mrs. L. D. Singh had put tilak on our fore head and given sweets and wished all the best for us. Our school bus used to take us to Kendriya Vidyalaya in R.D.S.O. of Lucknow. We all used to dress up in white shirt and grey pants. We were very much excited also because in the same school the girl students of Navyug Radians also used to come. It was really thrilling but the pressure of exams did take control of our hearts. And because most of us had enough preparations for these examination; everything went smooth. I remember some daring class mates tried to connect with these girls, but nothing enough materialized for any of them. And as the board exams were over; it was like India wins freedom for us. Everybody was excited; many of us went for the movies. But I came back to school because Manoj was not there with me. We shouted a lot in the mess because of excitement while having lunch on that day. Because now we were going to enter in XI class i. e. the 2nd senior most class in the school. There would be 200 juniors, who will give all the respect and regard and you will have enough liberty to use them. And also the seniority gap between XI & XII was minimum. And we were going to be the real seniors of school, because for the XII it would be their last year in school. Then the pressure of getting through N.D.A. along with board exams of 12th class was also there. So any student in 12th class generally remains dormant. One more interesting thing to happen was our ‘hike on bike’ expedition after 10th board exam, which was supposed to start after one week of board exams. Some of us would also be going for trekking to Nainital. We were issued cycles from the school. And at that time there was a great craze for cycling. No classes’ no studies and just enjoy, play and have good food in mess. And it was really one of the most thrilling periods in Sainik School life.

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Manoj was not turning up for these adventurous excursions as he was not that much fit. I really found this good tradition of school to be really exciting one. We were divided into three groups A, B & C. Group A went on cycling from Lucknow to Allahabad, Varanasi, Jaunpur, Sultanpur, lucknow. Group B went on cycling to Gorakhpur, Kushinagar and back. Then Group C went on trekking to Nainital. So it was a real good gift from the school side after 10th boards were over. I was in group A and we used to ride 100 to 120 kms per day. A real thrill in putting on school colored T-shirts & shorts. And everybody on the way greeted us with much warmth. After this much of cycling my desire for cycling vanished. But it was a fantastic experience. There in cycling we had our one teacher also with us who also cycled with us throughout the way. And he was our new craft teacher Mr. Nigam. It was this time after boards when I was not with Manoj. And during this time I really felt myself directionless. I remember I started doing so many off beat activity which I was not supposed to. We used to see movies in night on V.C.R. without permission. One day I joined the company of some of our batch mates who plotted to steal a cock from the washer men’s colony of our school at mid-night. It was really a horrible experience for me. We three cadets reached the house of dhobi quietly in mid-night and it was in moon light that we stole one cock from the ‘pen’. All these birds started making noise and even the owner came out hurriedly but we were quicker enough to make the plan a success. In the process I lost one slipper but could not dare to collect it. We reached Sampurna Nand hostel where my friends dressed that chicken and next day a grand lunch party was thrown to 1012 friends. I did it all to prove that I had guts to do anything. And had Manoj been in school there was no chance of my being part of all this. He was my real guru. And my personality may have been a spoilt one if I had not met him in school. So this way Manoj’s presence as well as absence made a big difference in my Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 45

life. And after two three days we all were supposed to deposit our items at box room and then to go home for summer vacations. So we all were quite happy this time because our golden period of Sainik School was going to start from the next session. In the next session i.e. July 1991 we were back in school after a long gap of 2 months. Life was again going to be quite thrilling but we would be on the winning edge, this mind frame existed with every cadet of 11th class. By this time our 10th board results had come. The result was generally good for the whole batch Manoj missed the chance just because of chicken pox but still he managed 79% in boards. Now one more interesting thing was going to happen in our batch. And it was regarding getting appointment ship. Three students from each house were supposed to be selected from our class. Two of them would be going to corresponding junior house in order to maintain discipline there. One was to be retained in the same senior house. All these nine would be called as prefects of their respective houses. Appointments at school level and house captains were from 12th class. And here 11th class was involved th keeping in view that 12 class would be getting busy for boards and N.D.A. exams in coming months. So 11th class students can easily manage the activities. And in our school it were the only seniors who were practically maintaining the discipline there. And teachers were responsible only on papers. And any junior class student used to follow the orders of school captain and house captain. And so getting an appointment ship was really a matter of pride and importance for every student in 11th& 12th class. From our house Manoj Pandey was unanimously declared but the other two were yet to come. And the selection criteria for these was your performance, attitude and overall personality. I was not very sure of myself getting the position but finally I got it. But I 46 :: Hero of Batalik

was supposed to join Pant House i. e. junior house. And Manoj was retained in Tandon house. This was not welcomed by both of us. We approached our house master Mr. Rajiv Upadhayay to shift us together in junior house only. But our house master did not allow this and he said one thing to me that you will expand and improve your talent more only when you are independent. I accepted this idea and we decided to follow the authority’s instructions. After getting this position of house of prefect our recognition in school increased all of a sudden. It is somewhat like getting ministries among winning M.L. A.s in Assembly. It provided us a lot of opportunities with many responsibilities. I gained a lot of confidence due to this position. Manoj was leading his house more tactfully and even his juniors of 10th class liked him a lot because of his just nature. He was leading a group of cadets where he was one of the smallest in size but biggest in mind. His friendly and balanced approach made him quite popular. But by this change; we were separated house wise. I was in Pant House and was supposed to take care of VII, VIII & IX class students comprising about 50 students. But the life style was more glamorous and enjoying in junior houses for prefects. Even Manoj used to come to my house very frequently. We had a very good badminton court in our house where we played a lot of badminton and cricket. And there was no body to interfere in the game so life looked heaven sometimes. But we sat together in class. This time our section got merged i. e. from earlier three sections now we were in two. And it was the first time that we sat in the same section together in XI class. So the separation in hostel was getting compensated here. Now I got the opportunity to learn more from Manoj in class and his way of approaching the problems given by teachers in the class. Now in XI class our science subjects and math got a little difficult. And this year I remember some cadets like Mayank Mayur, Prashant Mehrotra & Gautam Gupta came up as most upcoming scholars. And the Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 47

way of learning also changed. Because now a student good in science can only top the class. But among all Manoj again topped the 1st mid-term exam of XI class. And this way he again compensated his not so good results of X board and proved his genius. I remember that on the examination day Manoj used to miss the breakfast generally just in order to save some time for revisions. This way his dedication towards studies was just unparallel. His writing was also very good. This year all the army wing N. C. C. cadets who got more than 75% marks in X board got merit scholarship from the governor of UP. There were approximately 25 students who got this award. And during this activity at Governor’s house they came to interact with some girl students also there who were from other schools and having army N. C. C. and here only my dear friend Manoj got some acquaintance with girls. And he was projected a super hero there by some of our batch mates and most active in his was cadet S. K. Pandey. I could not get this opportunity to get scholarship because of being in air force wing of N. C. C. So this way my dear friends were so much excited for the coming 5-7 days and even they received friend ship letter also from these girls. And it was for Manoj only majorly. But so many names were written in that letter and everybody was feeling excited. Some letter exchange happened. I remember one of the girl was from Dehradun. So my dear friend Manoj enjoyed this opportunity also. But he always took these events easy and never got much emotional. Now we used to watch movie together on Sundays. For Manoj my compatibility with the events of school were much stronger than anyone else in school. So our friendship got matured day by day and its name was established in school. It was liked by all in school. This year Manoj also developed the art of writing shayari etc. And even he started writing a diary also in school. But I never tried to look in his very personal matters. But sometimes some of his ‘shayaries’ used to be quite popular among us. Because sometimes he felt like emotionally 48 :: Hero of Batalik

connected to somebody but the exact figure was not very much clear. And after writing his dairy or shayar, he used to feel very much relaxed. One more art he used to follow sometime was that he took resolutions that “I will not tell a lie today”. Though it was broken up some times but in this way he said, he was doing something positive rather nothing for his habits. All these resolutions made him stronger person. So all these activities which were generally initiated by Manoj even made some others to follow also. This way Manoj had always some conscious followers. I also found Manoj used to come to my house quite frequently after lunch or dinner session. We used to see Chitrahaar & movies together in my house. Because there were good facilities in the TV room of Pant house and you can get all the required things like water etc. at your chair only. We also used to see movies on TV with the help of school V.C.R. sometimes. In XI class we had started getting one more good friend in our company and he was S. K. Pandey. He is a really nice guy with open heart but a verbose person. We always found ourselves quite much having the same aptitude towards school activities. And also we decided together to join good course for our I.I.T. J.E.E. preparation. So Manoj, me and Sunil ordered for postal guidance course of brilliant tutorials. And I remember every one of us had contributed 900/- for this study material. And this study material was coming at one of the Manoj’s uncle’s house in Alambagh. This course we had joined just to increase our level of studies and options of engineering exams also. And there were at least 15 students from our batch having joined the different postal courses of engineering exam. So the academic orientation of our batch was quite good. But in our group Manoj was really solving some tough problems from these study materials & some good (interesting) questions had given us new insights of science. I remember Manoj used to Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 49

see the problems of mechanics practically with the help of thread & pen etc. His way of visualizing the situation of any problem was just excellent. Though we were putting some extra efforts academically, our first aim always had been N.D.A. only. Manoj wanted N.D.A. first also because he never wanted to study any more on parent’s money which was just not practically possible. Otherwise Manoj was real IIT stuff of our batch. I can say he was fit for any good career of our time. But we all were so much tuned to Sainik School life that beyond N.D.A. the next thought came only under the condition of not getting selection in N.D.A. This year we used to play games like volley ball and basket ball more frequently and our dear friend Kishore Singh was a real basket ball crazy person. His craze for basket ball made us also develop some interest in it. In XI class we were playing generally easy games i. e. less exhausting ones. Because life was easy now in Sainik School and this we were feeling in all activities of school. Manoj used to come to pant house where I was house prefect quite frequently. We used to chat with juniors of our house and in this way he was very much popular among the students of my house also. His way of interaction with anybody was simply great. His suggestions to those juniors for excelling in different activities of school were always highly appreciated. Even the waiters and class IV employees of our school liked him very much. I remember there was one waiter named Kali Charan Pandey who also took care of the needs of Manoj in mess very much. His personality had some magnetic effects, always a smiling man. We started reading English newspapers now. And one English daily was issued to each house. So being house prefect we availed this facility better. It was felt that now time has come to develop the overall knowledge about the current world. Reading newspaper habit made us quite familiar with important words frequently in use. It was also because in N.D.A. written exam, 50 :: Hero of Batalik

English had major position in General Study’s paper. Nobody wanted to take any chance to clear the N.D.A.; simply crazy one would be in Sainik School; for army. I remember one of my friend Kishore Singh was carrying N.D.A. guide from VII class only. Simply it was a height of emotional attachment the N.D.A. had. But what I found Manoj had always rational & pragmatic approach towards this also. He was really very much tactful and had a great art of prioritizing the things as per the demand. He always had the academic excellence his first priority in school. He used to give me some great insights of science problems. I remember there were so many students of my batch dependent upon him for clearing their math & sciences papers. And he was equally generous in helping them also. This year Manoj was buddy of Sunil Pandey. And I found a good level of improvement in S. K. Pandey in overall activities of school. So this great man had some ‘Midas’ touch. It was always a win-win situation in being with him. You start learning to be a winner in life. And whenever we used to meet in free time Manoj started some points to discuss. In this way our group discussion tendency was improving. I remember during these discussions. Manoj always took some different views than the whole lot. And in this way discussion happened as Manoj used to do deliberately do it to increase his level of participation in the discussion. He was always logical enough to have sufficient points to prove his views. And to the surprise of everybody he would interchange the topic with opposites and then also defended his points equally good. That means he had a great art of visioning the two sides of same coin. A really genius guy with rare findings. In these discussions whenever the topic was with freedom struggle we would generally favor extremists like Bhagat Singh, Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose or Chandra Shekhar Azad. But Manoj was always a great fan of Gandhiji. He always supported Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 51

his ideology. And at the age of 15-16 with Sainik School life this viewpoint of Manoj was really a rare one. But one day Manoj told me that after sometime (years) you will also support Gandhi ji. And I do accept that my way of thinking changed for moderates only 5-6 years later. So this way I found him quite advance in vision and thoughts also. An early matured guy we can say to him. This year Manoj did not practice much for cross country. But I was quite regular this year also. Because my final aim of getting 1st rank I cross country was yet to come. I practiced a lot and I got 1st rank also but this year result was cancelled due to some unfair means adopted by many cadets. So luck was also not with me or what I felt that Manoj had some great luck at times with him. He even did not participate in boxing this year. But in athletics he was serious enough. He won medals in 800m and 1500m race. But the surprising event happened in pole vault. That is; two days before the final Manoj was just crossing the minimum height to get qualified. And I was also doing at the same level. So we just participated to give some points to our house in athletics rather for medals. But on the final day some magic happened and Manoj was jumping more and nd more. And to the surprise of every one he got 2 rank. Even surpassing previous year’s ranker. So his level of performance generally improved at the final moment when it was needed the most. He used to raise himself at critical moments with some unusual performances. A born champion guy! He excelled in whatever field he participated in school. Manoj acted as a source of inspiration for so many juniors of our time. Whenever he was coming to my house; the cadets of IX class, VIII&VII interacted with him warmly. It was during this time only that some good bonds of junior- senior were formed in Pant house. And today also if some of these cadets meet they also remember some moments of Manoj shared with them also. Some great juniors like Major Salman Khan a sober and gentle guy with some magnetic personality. He was also 52 :: Hero of Batalik

very much popular among his seniors as well as juniors. I salute him in high regards and ultimate sacrifice he had done for our nation. So I can feel that good activities are also contagious in a positive group of people. Every one aspires to be like one of the great person. During the athletic meet of 11th class during December 1991; we also participated in one event called as ‘drill competition’ where I was the winner of last year. It’s an open competition where everyone can participate. And who is going to make a single error is to lose the game. And when this competition started where I was quite hopeful I found me and Manoj there in last 5 cadets left for competition. Further this was reduced to 2 only. And we both were performing flawless but at last Manoj was declared rank 1. as our physical instructor found my hands not bending properly to a good limit. This simply proved me again that if Manoj is ready to do anything then certainly he will perform better that others, like that he was born to win. After this athletic meet there used to be the annual function of our school which was always done in most glamorous way. And it was followed by winter vacation. Now the year 1992 was going to be very crucial for us. Because N.D.A. written exams were going to happen in the month of September. And it was the obvious dream of every one of us to make through it. Now everybody started orienting himself towards N.D.A. written exam. And for a lesson our just senior did not perform well in their written exam. So it made us do a pro active approach, i.e. the exam was to be taken very seriously. In the 11th class Manoj also worked hard to excel in academics because he could not top the 10th board due to chicken pox problem. So he was determined to do well and get 1st rank in 11th class just to prove his real mettle. And in this process there were so many students taking special coaching for science and math at their home or even in Lucknow city. But Manoj always Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 53

managed to score better than them by his self study style only. His grasp on Maths was ultimate. I remember him going to prep class in the evening and there he used to sit in junior classes just th because there used to be enough noise in the classes of 11 . Generally it was taken as rest year after the boards and feeling like relaxing after the First World War of X Board getting over. But Manoj had a different vision. We sat in VII & VIII classes also to maintain the discipline of these junior classes and side by side a good self study also. I followed his activities like an image. And in doing so I also managed to make good results. Without him I was incomplete. I remember during prep an odour of ‘boroplus’ coming from his hands and face whenever I consulted for any problems in Maths from him. Generally his palm & fingers were quite rough so he used to apply this boroplus there. And one day I asked him about the cause of the hardness of his palm. Then he told me that it was due to lot of water fetching exercise at home from a distance before Sainik School period. And I found hum surprisingly so honest to confess these things about which generally anybody conceals it. I also think that this act of using Boroplus was to look good because for whom he was fascinated in school time, ‘Mayank’ had the softest hands in my class. Generally it was an age to look good and everybody had his own way to achieve that smartness. In the prep class, majority of the students of my class used to clear their doubts from him only. And he was so open hearted to do it for everybody which I sometimes even envied because my best friend was sharing time with others. I remember one problem in math he solved in just 15 minutes, for which I took the whole day to get into it. But he always motivated me to work harder and appreciated my perseverance in studies. After prep it was dinner time when Manoj sat in senior mess and I was in junior mess. But if it was Wednesday or Friday then we would see ‘Chitrahaar’ together in pant house. He took the keys from me of TV if I was late and always reserved one seat for me 54 :: Hero of Batalik

beside him. And his comments during the Chitrahaar session on the songs or characters entertained me more than the Chitrahaar itself. Doing the routine activities of school with him had become my ‘nasha’. I used to arrange sweets, samosas etc. whenever he was in my house just because he will come again and again by this hospitality. And he always took my room or belongings as his own only. We always arranged the things in such a way that we were together as much as possible. Just like after prep in evening whenever pant house and Tandon house used to march, we used to put our houses one behind another, so as to get the company of each other. One evening Manoj came to me and said that he was not having good terms with one of our batch mate these days. And he was so much disturbed by this that he came in the night only from Tandon house to Pant house between which min. distance was 500m (approx). To get this news I was quite surprised but I always backed Manoj’s ideas that he can never be wrong. But this act of him even convinced me that how much important he took me in his life. We discussed the matter in the night and then I also planned to get aside from this guy. This act proved my blind faith in Manoj. I kept on supporting him and within a week Manoj himself managed to sort out this problem and three were again together. Manoj used to sort out the crisis in a better way than others. One more interesting event happened this year on my birthday. Actually I had invited all the cadets of my hostel along with my batch mates which summed up the total strength to 120 approx. i. e. almost half of the school was invited in my birthday party. In the pant house our TV room was big enough. I had bought a big cake from the city and had ordered sweets, ice cream also for this party.

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 55

It was a real fun time celebrating in the school campus my birthday. But during the party time only some of my friends started bursting balloons on my head. In the mean process some Kam Sutra were also filled with water and were thrown over one another. With this great fun, some of my batch mates passed 2-3 of these K. S. packets into my matron’s office by sliding it inside of a locked door. And it all happened just for fun. Manoj also took part actively in this session. Now after cake cutting & snacks time; the whole crowd dispersed with leaving all these wrappers scattered in the hall. But next day in the morning when my house matron entered the TV room, she got very angry seeing all the things dispersed in terrific way and the condition became more horrible when she opened the door of her office. She became furious and called upon all the other teachers to show this mischievous event happened last night. And after all I was to be blamed for the whole episode. She started crying after seeing the indecent pictures. And this matter was reported to our school principal. Nobody could believe that a disciplined cadet like me can make happen all these events in this indecent manner. But we all the cadets had done these acts just for fun where as my house matron and teacher created so many stories and the situation was exaggerated enough to give it a worse picture. After coming to know the details now the principal asked me to tell the names of the students who actively participated in these activities otherwise my parents would be called and I was to be thrown out of the school. Now it really became a tough situation for me. But my dear friend Manoj came to me and said that he would reveal his name by his own; because I was in no way going to take his name or anybody else’s. In our time in Sainik School there used to be a great sense of unity among ourselves. We would seldom take any of culprits name to be figure out for punishment rather taking the 56 :: Hero of Batalik

punishment in a whole group. It was like sharing other’s punishment in a group so that this punishment divided in group was bearable to everyone rather one person being caught and pointed out. This great sense of sacrificing for others sake we learnt a better way in the school. Manoj did this thing to me so that my punishment part may get less harsh. In the mean time we convinced our house matron to give some favorable statements for us. thus with the help of my friend this whole episode was sorted out in a tactful way. I remember me and Manoj being called in principal’s office after the lunch session. And Sqn. Ldr. R. K. Rastogi was just going to hit me with his long cane but accidentally the cane fell and slipped under his big table; which was just not easy for him to take out from there. This way my good luck saved me from being canned. In the meantime my house master sir had given some favorable statements for both of us. And seeing all previous good records; I as spared with mild punishment of a letter of apology to may matron. Otherwise I was likely to be suspended for 15 days from the school. But Manoj risked himself to take me out of this trouble. And from this incidence we took a lesson to analyze any event from both the angles, rather taking only your own views. I remember that during the school time we used to go for mass punishment so many times rather pointing out some one as the real culprit. This empathizing nature is real gift of any upsainian and it is very essential for any army officer. So I can say that the condition and environment of Sainik School which are not a part of its regular routine also contribute in developing the personality of any cadet. A great history of ex. Cadets which remain prevalent there in school environment motivates the cadets to do something different in their life. A Sainik School guy is less selfish, he is being brought up in an environment to grow first as a team and then as an individual.

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 57

What I felt that day I was getting more dependent on Manoj for physical, mental and emotional solutions. He was the only person who (could guess) my condition even before said by me. But in dealing with the money matters he was more honest. I remember once we went to buy some books from Aminabad for competitive exam; for which we usually used to share the amount for a single book. On that particular day Manoj contributed Rs. 20 and I was supposed to do the same. But I did cheat him by telling lie that he has not contributed and he has forgotten. Manoj being sharp boy confirmed it again by asking me. But when I bluntly refused then he accepted; or maybe he had forgiven this silly act of mine. But certainly this created guilt in my mind. I learnt to be honest afterwards. Manoj has taught me a lot either in direct or indirect way. In XI class Manoj did not participate in extra-curricular activities of school and he focused more on academics, because once again he had to prove that he was the best scholar of the batch, as he could not get the 1st rank in X board in school. He had a tremendous will power. In XI class he was house prefect of Tandon house but he was very much friendly with everybody and never been assertive of his prefectship to either juniors or batch mates. In XI class Manoj had some more deewanapan with good looking guy ‘Mayank’. He tried to be with him by so many ways which I really envied. But this way we three were coming close to each other. th

Now came 12 class when we had to focus more on N.D.A. this year. So this session was going to be pure academics because of 12th class boards and N.D.A. examination happening in this year only. And Manoj was projected as a sure shot ‘selected’ student of our batch. But this time we had to be more careful for our academics because last year the written examination of N.D.A. did not give good results. So we all started with whole hearted effort. Our principal was Sqn. Ldr. 58 :: Hero of Batalik

R.K. Rastogi. He was a very good motivator. Because I remember that during N.D.A. written preparation he had given us enough liberty from school schedules and provided all possible books in library. And just 18 days before the N.D.A. written examination he had given a great lecture for our do or die effort. He told us that Mahabharata happened in 18 days and so you people also have the same no. of days to get through the Mahabharat of N.D.A examination. Much of the mock test and preparation happened for our written test on 20th Sept. 1992. Our test centre of National inter college is Nishatganj. But I th remember that one day before the exam i. e. on 19 September Manoj and Mayank went for a movie to city. It was initiated by Mayank but Manoj could not resist himself against the will of Mayank. They both enjoyed that day rather bothering for examination. I would say they were well confident. This way Manoj always projected his confident nature in all aspects of life. His U. P. S. C. roll no. was 51547. I remember this because mine was 51535 and we were supposed to get the same series of booklet say A, B or C. Because in those times some of the students still managed the answer by helping one another. What was more important that speed in attempting the question. So me and Manoj had a pact of exchanging some of the question in order to save time. But unluckily we were in two separate rooms; and hence I did this trick with one of my class mate Cadet M.P. Singh and we managed to exchange at least 50% of question successfully of Maths paper. But due to good preparation the written exam went well for almost 50% of cadets. And I remember 35 of us cleared the N.D.A. written. Our dear friend cadet S.K. Pandey was not looking much confident of clearing written test but once the result was out he was most excited and even he put the best possible efforts in getting through S.S.B. our S.S.B. preparation which started in 1st week of January, we had a special coach ‘Mr. Sanyal’ who had provided us with some valuable tips. What we have found that he made our friend S.K. Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 59

Pandey as most suitable candidate for S.S.B. due to his extra enthusiastic nature. He even favored him during the training process; for which also Manoj acted boldly to Sanyal Sir, proved him that he was none the less. What we found him that nothing was more important than his own ego. Nobody could challenge him that way. I was not looking very much confident for my S.S.B. because I got fever those days. But when I was going for my S.S.B. at Dehradun then Manoj told me that he had full faith for my selection. And he told me that you will do it; only this statement made my confidence go up by many folds. I qualified my S.S.B Manoj did the same from Varanasi air force selection board. His chest number was 24. those who went there with him for S.S.B. found him as declared successful candidate even 2 days before. That was the huge impact Manoj used to put during the time of any test/examination. After clearing his S.S.B Manoj went for his medical test at New Delhi. From here he was declared fit when he came back from his medical test; then he told me that he was feeling so lucky that he did not face any minor problem in medical. Because in medical at least 50% of candidates get either T.R. or P.R. (permanent rejection) by the board. He said it so because he did not want to put his parents even in slightest trouble now onwards. He always kept in mind how hard his father was working to meet out the daily needs of his family. And it was also one of the reason he was not very much interested in joining any engineering college; because he knew that this would again put extra economic burden on his parents. Otherwise he was the best brain of our class. Also one day when we were discussing our S.S.B. experience; then the topic came up “who has written what in the column of what is your aim in life”. And in that particular question we all put some normal answers like; to be class I army officer. But to the surprise of everyone he said “I had written 60 :: Hero of Batalik

that, my aim of life is to get Param Veer Chakra”. And his statement only shocked all of us. Because the maximum extent one can think of joining the army; but how you are sure of getting P.V.C. because for that any ‘war’ condition is also supposed to arise. And we all asked that ‘Manoj you know, max. of P.V.C. awarded were posthumous. But he said I will get it live. His different and accurate way of planning stood him apart from all of us. But none of us could expect this to happen with him some day. Now Manoj started giving up tips to other candidates who were going for their S.S.B. in between we had our board exams also. But this time Manoj was a bit relaxed for boards. He had filled the forms of engineering also, like that of I.I.T & Roorkee. I remember he had bought one form of Roorkee Engineering Entrance for me also. He always cared for my good future. He even made me practice for my medical test. I was medically unfit due to color blindness. All my friends were quite surprised. I remember Manoj used to ask me colors of light coming from aero plane over head after the dinner session etc. but in between only he said that ‘ he was not very sure of my chance of joining N.D.A. And finally I could not; what I guess that his sixth sense was quite active. During this time only we used to discuss about the military planning of battle with either China or Pakistan. Manoj had a will to fight with Chinese army. This time Manoj’s very good friend ‘Mayank’ could not make it to S.S.B. and this way Manoj boosted the morale of Mayank for the next try. I still remember Mayank had pasted one photograph of fighter plane with pilot on his study table. He was also more inclined towards engineering preparations. Mayank was quite good in academics. And this he proved when he joined N.D.A. in next attempt. There in N.D.A. nd Mayank got 2 , 3rd rank in academics his course. Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 61

th

I remember Manoj joined in 90 course of N.D.A. and at this time I felt that now our life was going in two different ways. Manoj was bit upset due to my medical rejection. But he always expected me to join him in the next chance. He was always very much optimistic person. He always used to tell some special quality of even the lowest profile cadet of our batch. One day I remember that we were going to meet our favorite teacher Mr. R.P. Shukla in the evening. And on the way I told Manoj that I will miss him daily in my life. On that Manoj gave me a very good lecture. He told me that in this world, there is nobody so bad that you cannot make him friend. So much surprised I was; with his quality answer, he showed me the pragmatic approach of life rather being emotional fool. His statement only made me realize that you have still more chance to get some good people in life. But in my life Manoj was like a ‘nasha’, except for sleeping time we used to be together. And I was feeling that a huge vacuum was going to come in my social life also. I felt that I could do better in my life because of a good director I got in the form of my best friend.

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Letters of Capt. Manoj Pandey P.V.C.

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His Last Letter from Kargil War

Dear Pawan

19 June 1999

(Do read this letter to as many as possible) I received both your both letters but could not reply the first one. Both of them reached me in midst of hot battle. It’s really difficult to fight the enemy at this altitude. He is well inside bunkers and defenses and we are in open. He has planned his move very well and has occupied most of the heights. Initially things were really bad for us and we suffered most of causalities but now situation is under control and more planned and deliberate attacks are going on. In last one and half months I have seen the worst in probably ‘OP Vijay’ would account for; maximum causalities in shortest time. I have myself brushed shoulders with death four times; but might be because of some good work I am still alive. Every day we are receiving letters from all over country saying same sentence ‘Just do it’. Its really good to see that at time of need & crisis our country gets united. I really don’t know what would happen at next moment but till now I can assure you, and all countrymen that certainly we would push back intruders; at whatever lost we have to pay ;may be our lives. This operation has certainly given some exposure which cannot be quantified; like leading men on face of death; their fear, their loyalty and the stress and strain both physical and mental which human beings can take; but yaar “Indian Army” specially an infantry jawan is ultimate. He would do anything provided led properly. As I have always told you that what infantry gives you cannot be told, but today I am so proud of my decision of ‘Infantry’ that I can’t explain. Here weather is cold but snow has started melting down. If sun comes then days are generally ok. Nights are cold with temp –5° to –15°C It all would get over but time factor cannot be told; and frankly speaking, no one can say for certainty about his(enemy) going back. Just one request that guide my brother at this crucial moment of his life. (about his future). Convey my regards to all your friends for being so considerate to us. Do remain in touch, it gives lot of moral support. If I come back we would havea lot of things to talk about; but certainly this is going to be an everlasting experience for me. Yours Manoj

(Letter received on 30. 06. 1999)

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 65

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29th April 1999

Dear Pawan

Sri Nagar

Hello…. (Say my hello to Prabhu) I am fine here and hope same for you. Now a days I have come to participate in one of the firing competition, to a place few hundred kilometres away from LEH. Place is cold and I am staying in tent with my boys. Next to our location Shyok river flows which is full of trots (fish). My boys daily catch them ;yesterday I also tasted and found that good. How are your studies going on and what about the other ‘Upsainians’ what happened of my friend K.M. Singh, tell him to drop at least a letter. How are Kaili and P. K. Rai; convey my best wishes to them. What is your next step in life do write to me constantly about yourself. Yaar; I had talked to you about a girl. Probably my parents rejected her so I have sent her photograph back to Dr Pappu to give back to her parents. Its really sad to see that my parents lost faith in me. They think I might marry to any girl without their consent. They probably don’t know that I have always tried to act on their wishes and they are worried about this small thing of life. They probably don’t know that if they say; I can remain bachelor for rest of my life. Leave this senti aspect Reply soon

Yours ……………. . Manoj Pandey

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 67

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Dear Pawan Siachen 28th Nov 1998 I received your letter dated 14 Nov, yesterday at a formidable height of 20, 000 ft plus. Its heartening to notice your concern for me and I also thank all upsanians for their regards. Here now a days it quite cold with temp touching to –50°C, strong winds have increased the chill. Enemy is just sitting in front of us at distance of just 625 m. (in cover). There is heavy exchange of fire daily, to maintain supplies is difficult, everyday is a new experience. Everything freezes here except kerosene and our life depends quite on its heat. Our post is very small with hardly any place even to walk, I live in a ‘Iglu’ in which even I can’t start erect. Here oxygen is very less so lots of problems; also body detoriates by now. I must have lost 6-8 kg: but in all, its very adventurous and satisfying. I think that you have developed feeling that I am least bothered about myself and my future and have forgotten everything about worldly pleasures but let me explain you after this tough tenure, we would go to some class ‘A’ city might be ‘Pune’ for 3 years in peace after that 2 years in some modified field which is more like peace with family accommodation, after that again 3 years of peace . So June/ July 99 onwards life is just enjoyment and secure, in eight years I am sure some important events of life would get over. By that time I would have about 10 years of service behind me, then I would take 2 years study leave to do computers, this leave is paid by govt then just again two years of field, at end of my army career; after that I would be free to leave in case I wish to. So I have almost passed bad part of my service (as for you) when I was alone ;and I would have enough for my family in future, As you suggested for G. F. , it does not suit me & my family values, and various other things also, to be frank it’s not our culture. Parents are there to look after these matters. Tell P. K. I do remember him and tell him to improve his health, convey my regards and best wishes to all upsainians on 13 Dec. You don’t worry about your teaching line because its best profession in civil as per me; you can really influence others mind, which is required today, I might come in Jan 99. Take care of yourself Yours…. Manoj

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 69

70 :: Hero of Batalik

Dear Pawan,

31st Oct 1998 Siachen

Hello I am fine here and hope same for you. Its really touching to see your concern for me. Its fact that ‘Pakis’ attacked us twice but both time they were repelled back and suffered heavy causalities. You just don’t worry, till the time our army is here. enemy cannot do anything. Also don’t get senti about life and death. Because its all a part of game. And as for me its worth dying serving the nation, though it might mean nothing for people like you. Here survival is bit difficult because of extreme climate, but I have the satisfaction of commanding ‘the finest troops of world’. Let me tell you Indian soldiers are great; they can happily live and fight anywhere. The kind of absolute respect which you get here is, more than worth of any money. I know once I come back my experiences would be worth living with them. This place is something which people just can’t even dream about. Always remember “life is full of struggle, what differs is just the cause you are struggling for”. I know my perception of life is not going to affect yours. You may also consider me ‘crack’ but that’s the way I think. Do remain in touch because it really feels good to receive someone’s letter at this height

Yours’ as ever……. . Manoj

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 71

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Dear Pawan Mhow March, 1998 Hello (I am leaving on 5th for Goa then commando course 9th April onwards) I am fine here and hope same for you. I thank you for writing me that phone no. and assuming me that you would help my brother. It was nice to know that this time you want to give OTA in full spirit. First of all its OTA chaps who have best of life, i. e. you continue if you like; or leave if not. Once you come out, by that you would have enough money in your account also must have enjoyed, that is reason many people don’t leave through this. After 5 years (in OTA) is not considered most of exams is civil. This profession of arms is the most noble profession in world. You always have a good cause to live for. We all are crazy for army because we all are ignorant and till now there was a philosophy in army that we need not to contact civil, but I think that now people in uniform are realizing to open up a bit that is why there was so much coverage on media and all. You just cannot realize what all army offers you. But if you compare taking materialist attitude in account you might get depressed but certainly it is after you. A reasonably good life style; so just don’t be hesitant even a bit. Just don’t go for normal life i. e. Study→Job→Money→Marriage→ Normal routine→Death. There is much more which this life offers us. Always remember that if we cannot find happiness and satisfaction in ourselves we cannot find it anywhere else. Army is that place which channelizes ample of energy for constructive purposes and gives noble thought and outlook for society as such I really miss you and want to work with you in life. Just join me if you can. Say my hallo to Pikku (Bhikhari) he is just excellent. Luv u…………. Yours Manoj Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 73

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Pawan

24th Aug1997 Sri Nagar.

Hey…. I am fine here and hope the same for you; it’s have been long that we are not in touch. Right now, I am deployed in counter insurgency operations but cannot give you adequate details about it because of security reasons. My troops (soldiers)are form Nepal, tough guys, very simple, smart but they obey officers without any doubt or question. Here in Srinagar weather is perfect with all sorts of beauty across. It’s perfect place to enjoy as far as environment and people are concerned they are all 10 pointers. I love my job here. I have enough experience till now, seen actual firing, seen people dying both of our side and militant. Its give totally mature feeling and good sense of some achievement when you command troops under you. Here we have got all facilities except that we are away from our families. For me it does not matter much but after marriage, I feel it certainly matters. Yet I think I should cope up when time comes. I have not started drawing my pay, it will take another month or so because of some paper work. From my side till now things are going fantastic. I am in touch with Sunil he got ASC attached with 5 MLI for 3 years. I keep getting his letters, Yaar I just miss 2-3 of you i. e. yourself, Loli and Chiku (Mayank) might be I was too close with you guys. What about you and your endevours. I hope you must have made your way out somewhere, otherwise you just trying for OTA or IMA. It’s (army) not that bad for officers. Just convey my regards to your parents. Write me a long letter specially of yourself and your girl friend (Soni). Say my hello to her. Yours . . as ever Manoj

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 75

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1st May 1997

D. Dun Dear Pawan

Hi I am fine here and hope that you would receive this letter is best of your health and mood. I did not write you for a long because I was waiting for the day of choice of the arm i. e. 30th April. I have filled infantry as my first choice, in that 1/11 GR. It was a crucial day for all of us and I listened to voice of my heart than of mind. Circumstances also favoured me. Because in my block I was left only with infantry, artilary, ASC, AOC and intelligence core. Vacancies of armoured, engineer, signal, mech. infantry and EME were already taken by super block i. e. first 10 in order of merit and I happened to be in first block i. e. in first 30 in my course merit. So God also had his blessing for my choice. As for S. F. there were no vacancies this term; 11 Gorkhas regimental centre is in LKO and 2nd bn is posted in Rajauri for 2/11 GR. Our decalcification of arms is on 3rd June i. e. we will come to know what we are getting. As for Infantry there is no problem. Our P. O. P. is on 7th of June. ‘IMA Ball’ is on 23rd May. As academy is on punishment, there had been no liberty for a month. I have to manage a ball partner also, when liberty opens. What about you? How is your friend for whom we bought that lovely card in Ganj. What about all the competitions and your studies? Yaar I will be coming to LKO for about 20 days. Loli has opted for engr and probability is that he will get it. Kapil – ADA (Air Defense Army) – less chances of getting Please write back soon Yours as ever……. . Manoj

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 77

78 :: Hero of Batalik

Dear Pawan

14th Nov1996 D. Dun

Hi I am fine here and hope the same for you. I received your letter 2-3 days back but was busy in my tutorial; so could not reply. Here my training is going well as usual. Most of the part is over for the first term just drill competition is left for we 2nd December, after that till P.O.P. we will have real good time just free with everyday liberty. Yaar in “Faauj” you need not to do very well or to be too talented but you should know the right thing for right time i. e. how to get work done out of others. Here also pull is there but not as much in civil. Life is too good till the time you are in, because you don’t have to face any major problem in life until there is war or northeast proves too unlucky for you. Sunil is doing good but he has lost that zeal which he had in school so because may be because he is more mature now. As usual I am again planning to come to Gorakhpur specially Nepal. I had opted for bike hike to Agra but hike itself is cancelled because of some adam problem. So I might come in first week of my leave as after that you will be pushed hard for your exams. Yaar you have got all the talents in you. But always keep in mind that sky is limit. If you study for 6 hours a day there must be someone studying 7 hours and competing for same. Ever if you study 24 hours chaps will be there to make 25 out of 24 hours; so you have to compete them; and not just studying for your satisfaction. Always remember even if you read same thing again and again you find something new each time. I really expect something good from your side. Convey my regards to your parents; and here at my home everything is fine. Life must be as normal… Sonu will be appearing for X board exam. Just don’t mind about bad writing because has its too cold to write. I have not met Kishore for long. Hope to meet you in December, soon Yours … Manoj

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 79

80 :: Hero of Batalik

IMA 23rd July 1996

Dear Pawan

I am fine here and hope same for you. We people left from Lucknow on 7th and had absolutely no problem in reaching D. Dun. As we had thought to visit Kishor before joining but officers on reception did not allow it. So we reached to IMA and were jailed for 1 ½ month because in 1st week of Aug DST will be conducted and in case we pass then can go out. Hence routine is quite tough, every day first two periods are either drill or PT and then two periods are enough to make you sweat enough. After that breakfast and we hardly get 5 to 10 min for that, then 5 service classes. Here classes are quite far from each other so you become tired in going from one class to other. Here games and outdoors are same but weighttage of service subjects is too much, if somebody wants to be in good merit, he has to study a lot. After lunch (1.30 pm) we are free of about 1½ hours then games or X-country practice. Here X-country is total road run of 14 km which is enough to spoil your legs. X-country will get over on 18th Aug. After games you get lot of times because games get over at 5:30 pm and study period starts at 7 pm. Now a days we are very busy specially our company. Everyday some appointment or other calls us after dinner and screws us till midnight or even more than that. Yesterday we reported to BUO and today at 9.15pm we have to report to A.C.A. In morning we have to get up early at around 4:30am in morning and then the day starts. Here its very costly also, we have various types of persons here, like ex service men, NDA, DE (Direct Energy through CDS); then techno (who come after doing some engineering they have Jayaj time. They are 1st terms for 1st 8 months, 2nd for next two and with six months become third termers. On commission they get 2 years seniority and full pay at I.M.A. They pass out getting around Rs. 90000, then there are Ex Acc who are army personal who come for officer training. These Chaps are real good at sports and games. There is a lot to tell but less of space. So I will write in next letter. Reply soon. Yours as ever Manoj Address : GC M K Pandey K.company/ Bhagat Bn 248004 Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 81

NDA Photographs

82 :: Hero of Batalik

IMA, Deheradun Dear Pawan

NDA 18/02/1995

Hi I am fine here and hope same for you. Yaar these days I was waiting for your reply. But as now I have abundance of free time with me so I am writing you again. Yaar I am having jaundice these days and I got admitted for it on 8th Feb; the day our I. A. first finished. According to doctors it is not very serious, so not much to worry about. Yaar I came to know about it on 2nd Feb, but kept on going with it because our I. A. I was starting on 6th Feb, that’s why condition became worse. Most probably I will stay in M. H. (Military hospital) till end of this month. After that I will be send home for 21 days on sick leave. But condition is that before going for sick leave my condition has to be normal means my blood count should be 1. Right now it is 3 which has come down from 3. 5. Every week they take blood for testing it. Yaar sick leave is just to take rest and give rest to lever so that the damage is recovered. This way I will be wasting my two months in jaundice. But any way I can’t avoid it. I have cleared my P. T. test but swimming test is left because it was not conducted till that time. Here in M. H life is too much boring, you don’t have to do anything just have your food and take rest. I am on complete bed rest these days. I have to take only glucose water and no other medicine are given. These days I am too much frustrated because rest all chaps admitted here are juniors so I can’t talk to them. I am just waiting for my blood count to come down to 1. These days I keep reading those letters which I received from you or from home in last 1½ year. I have not lost even single of them. This was about jaundice (me) About academy, Ratankar has got 2 silver medals in 400 mtrs. hurdles and its 400 m in athletics; yaar I could not participate because I was in M. H. Sunil didn’t participate in any event, I don’t know why? Manish Chand is there in academy cricket team. …. We all are performing well in our sqns. I wouldn’t not be able to participate in volleyball and in Boxing which are in March. My sqn will really miss me. What about you? About your studies? You don’t worry much about your future because everything happens on the time . . But I have a lot to talk about school. If I feel good I might come to Gorakhpur in March (Sick leave) but no promise. Write me as soon as possible Your’s… Manoj

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 83

84 :: Hero of Batalik

NDA, 12th Jan 1995

Dear Pawan Hi,

I am fine here and hope the same for you. Bloody idiot; how dare you to think that I have not written you or I am not interested in your friendship . I received your letter when I reached at home and from there only I had send you a letter and new year card. By the way you may not have got those letters. But yaar if any chance you don’t get this also, it will be really too bad. Yaar sometimes things go against our wish but we got to compromise with situation. Here term has started as usual i. e. hot enough. ACA is from our squadron, and has made academy hot; life in IV term is fuck all. Inside sqn. life is cool being senior but outside Sergeants are behind our back giving us a big bamboo. Xcountry is on 29th Jan. but policy is changed i. e. III and V terms and 2 cadets per course will run. Yaar in my squadron and my course is too good. Lot of competition is there but I hope to get selected in team. Yaar once X-country gets over; things will stable down. Yesterday here was a para-drop demonstration. There were 8 flights; from 7 flight paras jumped out where as in last a Geep was dropped which was managed by 8 Parachutes. Most of the people were from NDA i. e. ex NDA; show was thrilling enough. I have improved my CGPA from 6. 22 to 6. 46. After X-country there will be volley ball, basketball, handball, cricket, hockey, boxing etc in given sequence. Yaar I had one of my friend rather my best friend from Gorakhpur. He got relegated on academic grounds. There are lot of changes in the conduct of P.T. tests also. Here, once I went to play squash; yaar its very good and stamina taking game; and you need a lot of practice also. In NDA there are ample of opportunities to learn. In squash I assure you, by the time I pass out from this place I will master it. This term I have got swimming club and I will try to learn breast stroke and back stroke. As per my expectations this term will also pass well if nothing goes wrong. This term our weapon training has also started, but its basic. In April we will have our camp ‘Rover’, by that time here it will be too hot. Riding is being taught more effectively these days. About Upsainians nobody new has joined us, as all the forms were rejected this time because they did not reach UPSC in time, so nobody appeared in written exam. Mayank has got ‘silver torch’ in academics and Prashant Aghnihotri is torch bearer as well. Yaar I met quite a good no. of boys in Lucknow. I will write about this in next letter. Mayank, Sunil, Ratnakar etc are OK and are doing quite well. Yaar take interest in life and studies. Hope to see your writing soon. Again “wishing you a happy new year” Your’s Manoj

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 85

Dear Pawan,

22nd Aug 94 NDA

Hello…………. I am well here and pray God for your happiness. Yaar I have not received any of your letter since a long time. Beside the fact that I write you continuously I don’t know what’s wrong with you. These days academy is too ‘jayaj”. It’s totally changed, now here is no fuck of that sort which used to be; every body enjoys. Tega has joined us along with Mittal, Agnihotri, PK Singh and Chaddha. He is in Leema Squadron along with Allgappa. I will tell him to write you soon. These days importance of X-country has gone down, but still as X-county is on 28th so its fever is high, almost every day some or other squadron go for practice. Yaar this time, I don’t have good hopes for X-country because I have not practiced much, before it I was busy in Boxing so could not practice. But still let’s see, may luck could have it. These days football is on progress. Here are 6 strings of foot ball, I was in II string. And our II string has come first in academy, so these days I am enjoying Vth term privilege till X-country. Means these days I am enjoying demo type inside sqn. Getting V term privilege is hell a lot of thing. Our IA-I are over, my marks are satisfactory except in chemistry, in which I have got 5 out of 10. Last to last Sunday our squadron went on ‘Singhgarh’ visit. It’s a pretty good place if you go as hike rather than on punishment. Yaar it’s too high, and it was really a fuck difficult, to be conquered. All over the place we were among the clouds. Yaar, the things which you see in movies, I saw in life on top; some eating stuff as tea, cold drinks and curd etc was available which was a bit costly but was a need. Yesterday ‘Khuddar’ movie was there in ‘Habibullah Hall’. But song of sexy-sexy had been change to BabyBaby so original taste didn’t happen. These days here weather is good, and healthy. But yaar, I miss you a lot, in computers I have made a program on your name; its really a good one. This term though I have got lot of liberties, but have not gone out even on single, yaar I don’t feel like going out. Yaar you tell about some new releases and few girls if you can. Write about yours. These days I am in desperate need of girl friend . Reply soon Your’s Manoj

86 :: Hero of Batalik

21 Nov 1993 Pawan there are some good news from my side for you. I have won my ‘Novesis Bout’. Sunil and Kapil have also won, rest have lost. Sunil made a knock out in just 40 seconds. I have passed my D. S. T. along with Kapil and Sunil; but still have not got even a single chance for liberty due to cabin cupboard; as it may be clear to you from Sunil’s letter. I might be getting liberty this Sunday but one thing is there that I have got rid of after lunch drill as which I hate most in academy. I have got ‘riding and polo’ as my club and yesterday; first time I did riding on our club day (Wednesday). Yaar it is really thrill mounting a horse. th,

I have got good position in Novesis X country held on 17 mine was 1st enclosure and 4th position. Sunil and Manish in II inclosure, Ratnakar III Kapil IV and rest after that. Here the standard of X-country is very good, our semesters are starting from 18th to 23rd nov. and P. O. P. is on 4th Dec and we will reach th Lucknow by 6 of Dec. …. . rest all is ok. You don’t worry about yourself, things will come to your way. Now I am letting my pen down as refill has finished. Hope to see you soon… Your’s. . forever Manoj Pandey

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 87

DLTGH-70 Dear Pawan,

24th Sep-1993

Hi I am fine here and hope that this letter of mine will find you in pinkiest of your mood and health. I received your letter three four days back but before that (just before one day) I had written you one letter on your home address. Now I think by this time your S.S.B. would be over and you would be celebrating the occasion. Congratulations! Yaar here we all are sure about you that you are joining you next term we all discuss about you almost daily what happened to other boys. Ruchir Bajpaie has cleared S.S.B.. What about our batchmates? Sapan is in ‘Charlee Squadron’ with Gangwar (IV) term and Anubhav Raj (V term); so almost having no problem. Tomorrow is Sapan’s D.S.T. Lets see what happens. These days we are “having balls in academy” this is new term to you it means that we are enjoying here. Almost nothing to do. Today our exams are almost over. One paper of economics is left for Monday, but being non credit subject no problem as such for our enjoyment. We have “Habibullah Hall for movies on Wednesday, Saturday (English) and Sunday Hindi. We upsainians prefer to sit together in this Hall and chat. I have got good marks in this IA-II (interval assessment- II) in Maths and chemistry full, but had fucked my physics paper. Let’s see what happens in Physics; as such we don’t know our physics marks till now. Sunil, Ratnagar, Kapil all are happy and enjoying their life. Yes, Deepankar was saying that you write one letter to him also. I will give your address to him and he will contact you. Yesterday we had guest night; because Chief of Army (Southern Command) came here. These days I am preparing for my boxing, starting from tomorrow onwards. I will try to put my 88 :: Hero of Batalik

th

th

best in it. Our X-country is starting on 17 October. Yaar in 90 course there are very good runners. I forgot to tell you that for enjoyment, here is “Gole Market” also, where for some time we feel that we are at home. Today I am almost free so I am writing you during my study period. Yaar, being good in English is a necessary for NDA, so try to improve it, not only verbal but written one also. We are having term break of four days, means having a sexy life. In N.D.A. days pass so fast that you cannot realize, because you do not have time to think; there are so many things to do that, no time is left for thinking. …………………………………………And when there are some events thinking specially in juniors turns gets home sick like me and other 1st termers. By the way we are above that situation now. Today DLTGH is 70 and these 70 days will fly like anything because now after six days term break, then P.T. competition, then X-country (Novesis) and then Boxing, Drill Competition then semester exams and passing out parade. In between there will be P. T. and swimming tests. So now nothing to think; I will be there to see you in December and will come back to academy with you. Here we guys remember our school very much because we miss those boys like you. Chandan, V.K., Kishore, P.K. , Reetesh and others. Here we cannot mix up with other boys. But due to God’s courtsey, Sunil and Manish are in my class so we don’t have much problems in class. Yaar, tomorrow can be my D.S.T. also; because as procedure is changed, whom ‘drill sahab’ will think good he will put his name forward and his D.S.T. will be in test period only. Otherwise also I will give one D.S.T. before midterm………………………….if I pass you cannot image now good life would be but it is very difficult to pass. We had heard that Gautam has passed IIT, tell me about it if you know. Vivek and Sachan has joined Lucknow University.

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 89

About academy I found one thing that; here imagine yourself as a ball, and keep on rolling; you will find that you had started at 1st term and finished at VI term; without realizing anything. About academic parts, Yaar course is so simple that; outside if you will tell anybody that this is our syllabus of B. Sc. ; they just wouldn’t not believe it. But still during exams we have to put our hard work to get through it, as we don’t get time to study. Whatever extra time we get, we like to sleep or enjoy (because that is very small span of time). Yaar I wrote one letter to Tega Singh and asked bout Annual function; but he has not replied, if you know about ‘annual function’ please write to me. Now I think that I must drop my pen but please write me on the same day on which you get my letter. When you will join here you will come to know importance of letters in NDA. I hope to see you in December in Lucknow. You Please, come to Lucknow. With all of my Best Wishes Yours…. . Manoj

90 :: Hero of Batalik

IMA Photographs

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 91

Siachen Glacier and Kargil War Tenure During Siachen glacier posting he performed really well. Manoj had used his technical skill in order to improvise the pulley system used for carrying articles to glacier from the base. He took some innovative ideas from snow scooter to improve the existing pulley system. Even he has opted for the toughest post in glacier i.e. ‘Pahelwan Post’, which is in the central region of “Siachen Glacier”. As a part the information given by his mates, Manoj remained at that post for sixty days, whereas scheduled days are forty five only; and nobody wants to be there even one hour extra at this tough place; but he himself opted to be there. It was in his habit; to take the challenges. Manoj had even opened new pathway in order to take our soldiers from Siachen Glacier without catching any attention of enemy fire; which earlier it used to be. Do to all his dedicated effort in Siachen, his name had been recommended for “Shaurya Chakra”. After Siachen tenure; his unit {1/11Gorkha Rifle} was supposed to have its peaceful area posting at Pune. Even his troop has started calling off from mountains. I got one of his letter from ‘Leh’ in last week of April, during the time of their retreat; where he was enjoying some good time in the beautiful mountains along with native people whom he found to be quite loving. He also used to do some activities for the poor people of nearby villages. He used to play with the children there and became darling of everybody. Small kids used to find a ‘Pidepiper’ hero in him. He once organized a ‘Mela’ for these people; which was very successful. These social activities done by Manoj won a lot of laurels from the civil population as well as from his senior officers. As it has built a lot of confidence between army and local civilians. Children used to follow Manoj 92 :: Hero of Batalik

wherever he would go. Frequently he used to give them chocolates, biscuits etc. He had this habit of winning heart of anybody nearby him. One fine day, on 1st April of 1999; his senior officers wanted to make fool of Manoj on this special occasion; so they had given him some fake written orders; that he has been transferred on immediate basis to some other place. So he has to pack up all his belongings and report to new place on urgent basis. Manoj also did all his packing sincerely and asked for some advance cash amount of Rupees five thousand from his senior officer. His belongings were loaded and he was sent to some distance in truck; then called back to prove that he was a ‘pranked’; then Manoj said he had sniffed the prank in advance and deliberately asked for rupees five thousand. And this amount he will not return to them, this way he flattered everybody with his good presence of mind; recalls Brig. Asthana. At his home, there were some talks airing in regards to his marriage. He was shown some photographs of prospective brides, but nothing was finalised till I received his letter in April 1999. Manoj did mention that he himself and family member could not reach any final decision of getting married to any of the girls. He had even given me some of his photographs to be shown to some prospective girls. I felt he had started drafting some opinions to get married in near future. One more thing I felt that, Manoj was not able to give his best during NDA or IMA training. Even in commando course at Belgaun or Y. O. (young officers) course at Mhow. He was never satisfied with the outputs he got in all his training period of army. It may be due to his own faults or because of unfavourable circumstances. He was eagerly searching for some opportunity to prove his best mettle. And it did happen remarkably with the Kargil war in May 1999. Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 93

In the first week of May 1999, 1/11Gorkha rifles, was deployed in Batalik Sector; which had some of the toughest terrains. The enemy had strong hold on all the heights; and earlier patrolling troop from Grenadiers could not come up with substantial success and their soldiers were ambushed near Kukkarthang’. Later Gorkhas were given this task; to get the information of missing patrolling team of 16 Grenadiers. Lieutenant Manoj Pandey led the team with great zeal and valour and recovered the dead bodies of some soldiers from previous patrolling team; and in his legendary guidance ‘Kukkar Thang’ Post, where enemy had a strong hold for a long time was recaptured from Pakistanis. This victory of Gorkhas set up the very first stone of foundation of success in Batalik sector. Manoj emerged as a hero for his soldiers and also for his senior officers because of his major breakthrough in the given task to clear posts in enemy captured area. He took initiatives actively to recapture more bunkers in these tough terrains without worrying his own safety. He was involved in maximum of the tough battles of Gorkhas in Batalik sector. Some of the prominent positions which were recaptured under the able guidance of Manoj are following: Land marks conquered

:

Date

1

Yaldor post

:

07 May 1999

2

Pandey Ridge (I)

:

09 May,

3

Ganshak Nala

:

11 May

4

Pandey Ridge (II)

:

11-13 May

5

Roy Post

:

15/16 May

6

Bakri Haat

:

16-17 May

7

Jubar Hill

:

17-21 May

94 :: Hero of Batalik

8

Point 5203

:

25/26June

9

Moved for Khalbuar

:

1st July

10 Conquered Khalubar

:

3 July

rd

Gorkhas handed over Jubar post to I Bihar Regiment. Gorkhas were then called back to ‘Yaldor’ point and by this time ;as they have got their new Commanding Officer Coln. Lalit Rai, a great Gorkha soldier, to take the charge. Till then these Gorkhas were fighting under the then officiating Commander Lt. Coln Amulya Asthana. Now; Brig. Asthana with whom I happened to meet because of some good luck that I had due to Manoj only. He was with Manoj in his last few months and also they lived in same unit and done some operations together. He too appeared a big fan of Manoj as an officer and as a human. A unique blend of talent with great human values. He found Manoj to be a perfect General material of Indian Army if he was alive. Manoj fought there in Batalik sector in May month under the guidance of Asthana sir only.

Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 95

96 :: Hero of Batalik

His new C.O. had a gathering at Yaldor point on 31 May1999. He briefed the troops and officers of 1/11 G.R. there and motivated them to carry on with great legacy Gorkha warriors in completing their mission. He even appreciated Lt. Manoj Pandey for all his bravery acts i.e. in giving befitting reply to enemy till now. Here troops have made a small temple at this point, in order to take the divine blessings; because in war these soldiers need a lot of moral support which come from their near and dear ones; and at last every human take all the risk in the name of all mighty God only. Manoj got the orders to reach point 5203. Manoj had taken this uphill task with full josh and positivity, which appeared quite a tough technically for his other mates. He inspired his fellow soldiers not to loose heart in negotiating through these tough terrains; as at some places these mountains had inclination of nearly eighty degrees. Climbing them with twenty kilogram load of arms, ammunition and eatables along with the apprehension of getting caught in with enemy fire was really torturous both physically and mentally. As the exact location of enemy hiding in bunkers was never found until you get a fire from that side, and sometime the very first bullet from him could take life. Situations get more worse when somebody among the company only gets that bullet and you can only see him dying infront of yourself and you can do nothing. Here you have the task of saving yourself first and then reply to enemy fire. All those humanity takes a backseat in this situation. Manoj had this tough task of motivating his men in this testing time of battle and ignoring all those hardships. But Manoj also seemed to have become champion of this game and did completed his assignments with an ease which others may find it impossible. He came back finally from point 5203 after the successful completion of patrolling in this area, a difficult task which officers found could barely be accomplished by anybody else. He reported back to unit by 25th/ 26th June 1999. His name Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 97

was being forwarded for some gallantry award after this successful assignment of point 5203. He had written the last letter to me during this operation only dated on 19th june1999. By this time Manoj had completed a range of victories in Batalik area, and he started to get all praise by his senior officers, and Jawans too. He was famous with the name of Pehalwan Pandey in his unit. This Batalik Sector did not had that much of media attention as like that of Drass and Kargil sector. Because Batalik was on the easternmost side and about twenty kilometres away from Srinagar-Leh Highway. And hence the moral of soldiers in this area was not as high like in Drass and Kargil. These soldiers needed the moral support coming from some able officers like Manoj Pandey who were self reliant and motivated enough to accomplish their task. Batalik sector had heavy casualties initially, these Gorkha soldiers were so agitated to avenge the death of their commrades; that they could eat up the bones of enemy if they get him alive. One of the soldier said that; “Even dog leaves the bone after taking out stuff from it, but we Gorkhas were not ready even to spare the bones of enemy. ” They were fighting this battle with limited sources; but a motivating ‘battle cry’...... “Jai Mahakaali, Ayo Gorkhali”. Pakistanis also dreaded most with Gorkhas only, Manoj Pandey had also become popular figure in enemy camp. He gave them maximum damage even when enemy was at advantageous height and well protected inside their bunkers. Gorkhas felt that the impact of bullet firing reaching the enemy target also got reduced due to height. And even some of the bullets repelled back. They could advance towards enemy only in darkness of night without catching any attention of them; these soldiers could stand still or crawl for hours in temperatures below melting point of ice. In sunlight they took position behind 98 :: Hero of Batalik

some large stones; even with possibility of getting caught in enemy fire from any direction or distance. Even attending to some call of nature was also a risky factor. they had their first causality of Sepoy Sunil Jung on 20th May in broad day light only. But these Gorkhas were unfazed by losses and hardships and fought really brave; and their josh got doubled under the able leadership of their officer like Manoj Pandey, Col Asthana and Col Lalit Rai. While climbing up, these Gorkhas could manage to drink the water of melted snow only and eat some jam (fruit) and bread which enemy had left while retreating. They could get minimal food, once in three day only. Because the supply of all food, ammunition at height of 15000 ft was really a tough task. An officer told that the most useful animal to them in this area was ‘Poney’ because he could carry as much weight; what three soldier together could. He did felt the importance of ‘Poney’ in ferrying all eatables and ammunitions to such height. Gorkha are expert in climbing up mountains because of their biological made-up and upbringing; so they fought some of the best battles in Batalik and had a better success in hitting the enemy. Manoj also planned his move so well against enemy, that he would reach to them through some of the unexpected terrains; which any of the enemy mind could never guess. He engaged the enemy from two three sides then attacked at them from some advantageous position. He used his sharp brain here meticulously. In “Kukkarthang” region he could arrange the initial victory of Batalik due to his well planned and brave act only. What I felt that; Manoj never looked hundred percent satisfied from all his performances of training and service of army life. He wanted to prove more for his own worth and merit Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 99

and was eagerly waiting to get a good opportunity for the same. But somewhere he found himself constrained as per the rules and tradition of both army life and civil society. He had this strong urge to do his best and the incidence of “Operation Vijay” had given him the full liberty to explore his potential as an army officer to fullest. Thanks to good synergy and cohesiveness with his troop of Gorkhas he performed really well in all his operations of Batalik Sector. He found himself very close to his ultimate target of life i. e. ‘Param Veer chakra’. In my last letter to Manoj, in the mid of May, I did mentioned Manoj one punch line: “Just do it” which was quite popular in those days as a slogan of world cup cricket 1999. I too motivated him to do well there following his own wish. But on coutrary; in all the previous letters and discussions with him, I always warned him not to sacrifice his life in the name of nation; because I already knew about the fact of his “ultimate goal” of life; he has mentioned at SSB Centre Varanasi in Feb 1993. His final operation started on 1 July 1999; Lieutenant Manoj with his Platoon had been given the task to capture ‘Khalubar Hill” along with Col. Lalit Rai; the commanding officer of Gorkhas. They began to move by 10 a.m. nearly. Enemy had a very strong hold in Khalubar Hills and it became very necessary to conquer it, to get a firm stand of Indian army in Batalik sector. They continued to reach close to target despite of all the firings coming from different directions of Khalubar Hills. They were moving forward in day light along the ‘Ganasak Nala’ and then they assembled near ‘Gragrio Nala’ in night of first July. Here Commanding officer briefed them about the enemy positions at Khalubar; He took one of the company with him to start the attack from one side and ordered Manoj to take assault from ther other. On this mission to climb in night, firing from enemy side got intense. Still Manoj was going up with his company and 100 :: Hero of Batalik

leading them from front. Incidentally he encountered someone unknown coming downhill from opposite side; and asked about his identity; because in the darkness of night one cannot confirm the person being friend or foe. Manoj shouted at him to declare his identity, else take a bullet. But that fellow said, he was from Grenadiers’ battalion of Indian army and Manoj let him go. On contrary he was from enemy side, who was at advance patrol to get first hand information of where abouts of Indian army. After two- three hours from this incidence, firing from enemy bunkers became more intense as they were confirmed that Gorkhas were climbing up. They warned Manoj and his men, not to move ahead, else will face death. But Manoj also had some better plan for them. Due to this intense firing they could not reach the enemy bunkers in night as expected; and it was the dawn of 3rd July when troop of Manoj found themselves so close to enemy position; which was not more than 600 yards. Now they could not afford to take rest, by hiding behind some big rock; as they were in full view of enemy guns. Here Manoj found six bunkers to be captured on contrary to their expectations of two to three bunkers only. He asked one of his junior officer; Hawaldar Bhim Bahadur to capture two bunkers on right side at some distance; and he himself set target to clear the remaining four bunkers to himself. He first placed himself and his company to some advantageous position to avoid the intense enemy fire. And then he asked his men to engage the enemy from one side and he himself took a ridge from back side, which enemy could not think of. When he got close to their bunker from this side, he lobed a grenade on the first one; got it easily destroyed and killed the enemy there. By this time it was already a broad day light of twelve noon. But he took assault on enemy, inside second bunker and destroyed it also. Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 101

During capturing of second bunker; he injured his thighs and shoulder; which could have been fatal. But unmindful of his injury and safety he moved towards third bunker and attacked with grenade there also. With all these three bunkers getting destroyed, enemy became aware of the presence of Manoj; which they did not expect from the toughest side where Manoj was coming. But few seconds before Manoj could lob his grenade in fourth bunker; he was hit with burst fire in his head; but Manoj had managed to lob his grenade in fourth bunker also; and it killed that traitor also who made Manoj his target. “NaaChhornu” was the last words by Manoj to his Gorkha Men; i.e. “not a single enemy to be left”. Looking into this extraordinary act of Manoj; these Gorkhas cleared came in full josh and the Khalubar Hill on 3rd July only, but at the cost of life of Manoj, Bhim Bahadur and other sixseven Gorkha soldiers. This extraordinary bravery act by Manoj made him super hero of Batalik sector; he got the highest military honour of war i.e. Param Veer Chakra, the ultimate aim of his life; he always wanted to get. And I do feel that, time and conditions favoured Manoj to achieve his goal. In his last assault; had he wished a little for his security of life, he could have managed’; because Manoj was clever enough to make the situations according to his plan. But he did not give a single thought to save his own life. He had this only aim to clear those bunkers at any cost. During war time; these Gorkhas feel that even a precaution taken for life is an act of cowardice. So all these high standards of bravery in their mindset, make our soldier do anything to save the nation. Manoj has written his last letter to me dated on 19th of June 1999; received on 30th June. There he wrote the first time as “Do read this letter to as many as possible.” Means he wanted everybody in India to know about the physical and mental 102 :: Hero of Batalik

condition of any soldier during wartime. I find this letter to be one of the finest letters by any soldier. When I got the news to martyrdom of Manoj on 4th of July in evening; I kept crying for the whole night; because I always warned Manoj not to sacrifice his life every time we met and this could not be less than hundred times. The news of his shahadat went like fire in the whole city of Lucknow, family members reached Amausi Airport to receive the body of great solider; there were hundreds of people already gathered at airport to receive their hero with wet eyes. With full military honour; then his body was put in Military vehicle and it was taken to command hospital; I was lucky enough to be in the same convoy when Manoj was being taken, wrapped in tri colour. To my surprise I found the whole path from airport to command hospital was filled with people on both sides of road; to give final farewell to their hero. There could more than lacs of people shouting the slogan. . “Jab tak sooraj chaand rahegaa, manoj pandey kaa naam rahega”. Then I did realised that Manoj had become national hero by this time. On reaching command hospital; I was lucky enough to get glimpses of his body from close; and what I could feel that this man had whole body there, but couldn’t speak; and it was the first incidence of my life to see body of any person so close when he is not alive. And I realised that ‘Pran’ and body are two separate things. And everything is soul “the pran” and this body is just a carrier of soul. I could not believe that such a energetic person can also become motion less; very difficult to accept. Today also I can remember his bearded face with mouth slightly open lying in coffin. I had spent some of the best moments of my life with him; the crucial time of life i.e. from 12 years to 24 years of age; when we built major portion of personality together. Now I did Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 103

felt that I have to carry on my life without his presence on everyday basis. I felt like, something very precious I invested with somebody for last twelve years; getting wasted. It created a vacuum in my life. In the presence of Manoj I always felt more confident and flamboyant with him my strength got doubled both physically and morally. We were like synonym of each other in Sainik School days. We did not miss out contact even during NDA, IMA or service period. He always stood by me, supported me, motivated me to do better in life; to be a man of value. He had a huge presence in my life. He changed my personality for the better only, made me more confident. Today also I take many of my decision as per the approach of Manoj’s thinking only; whenever I am in doubt; and I do come out from every problem very easily just by thinking of this great man. Now I felt more confident person, a best friend of a National Hero; a rare combination of talent, bravery and human values. His seniors in army felt; he was a perfect ‘General’ material of future. With his sacrifice our country did make a loss of such an extraordinary talent at young age. For so many years after his passing; i did wonder with other human who are just living like a cattle on road; could replace the life of Manoj I always felt his life to be so precious; that I always wanted to preserve him for more and more years. Next day his coffin was brought to his home at Vishal Khand, Gomti Nagar. There was huge crowd all around Vishal Khand. Whole people of Lucknow had come to pay their last tribute to National hero. So many organizations made arrangement for drinking water, flowers etc. It was a complete stand still in lives of people of Lucknow; everybody wanted to have glimpse of this local boy who had done great for the nation. 104 :: Hero of Batalik

Everybody in Lucknow was feeling so proud for him, the whole day people come and paid their tribute. When his coffin was put inside the house at Vishal-Khand; the moment became full of emotions, his mother came to see Manoj for the last time. Everybody started crying on seeing his body. The whole city wept for him. Everyone who has anytime met with Manoj in his life did come to his home and paid their tribute. All the newspaper, TV channels of Lucknow only talked th th of Manoj for four days i. e. from 4 July to 8 July. Seeing all these events happening before me; I was shocked to find that how any boy next door type personality become national hero. The person who was closed to me; the person who himself found me somewhere very close to his heart’ had become a legend, a celebrity, a national hero. Then I found myself very alone on that day. I remain confused for so many days; how to act or react. Because I could not express my emotions to anybody; only some of friends from Sainik School could feel the intensity of bond we shared together. The pain of losing the best friend of life has to be contained inside. I could weep only when I was alone somewhere; when nobody could listen me. I remember I wept mostly under tape water in bathroom of LBS Hostel of Lucknow University; because then nobody was able to see my tears. I was suppose to project as if any normal friend; who has lost somebody; dear. My apprehension of loosing my best friend turned into reality of after these six years; when we left Sainik School in 1993. One thing I did as symbolic act was, that I shaved my head, as a tribute for my hero; and that also in such a way that nobody shall feel; why I did this. Whenever anybody asked, why I did, I simply said, it was due to rainy season and same dandruff problem. Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 105

The final journey of Manoj for ‘Baikunth Dham’, started by 3 p. m. on 8th of July 1999. He was taken there with full military honour. I could see trucks of Gorkhas forming a convoy in his last journey. Fearing crowded on the two side of Gomti River, I reached that place on earlier basis, because I had doubt that, these army people may not let me to get so close to that place where I could see him for last time. Because these was a lot of VIP movement at that time. Present C.M., Governor, Ex C.M., Seniors Army Officers, beaurocrates were present to give their tribute to National Hero. The people of Lucknow were giving high pitched slogans like “ “Jab Tak Suraj Chand Rahega, Manoj Pandey Tera Naam Rahega” “Manoj Pandey Amar Rahe” All the patriotic songs were going on; along with army band; playing the last tribute tune. These Gorkha Soldier gave “21 Canon Salute” to our hero. Even I could see Ex. Army Man Col. Dhan Singh Thapa (P.V.C.) was also present there to give a salute. I do remembered that I and Manoj did see the T. V. serial of Param Veer Chakra on T.V. together; and had seen the episode of Dhan Singh Thapa also. I could see how our National heroes of many field come here to pay their last tribute to Manoj. His body was put on pyre for the last rites being performed by his father; which can be the toughest situation any father can face in life. His father did consoled himself in a brave manner and completed the last rites. I remained there till everybody was gone from that place; to see where does our body go; but to find that fire has great power to convert this human body again into the five components like earth, water, fire, sky and air. Only thing which remained there were some small pieces of bones; which was collected to be immersed in river Ganga in Haridwar. 106 :: Hero of Batalik

His last rite was the full day activity for all the people of Lucknow. Even people came from other city and states also; to meet parents of Manoj. But these two persons were not in a position to be consoled by any assurances. The pain of losing their young son who was so bright and full of energy cannot be put into words. I could see lacs of litres of water and tonnes of flower being used in the name of Manoj. Different organizations like Sahra Group, Gayatri Pariwar did took part actively for their hero.

Seeing all these events happening for Manoj, I did felt that if the people of nation can give so much honour to their brave solider, then it is always worthful to die for the country. But there are only the few lucky ones like Manoj who can get this opportunity also. The honour he truly deserved for his selfless service to nation; despite of all the constraints of system. Further the announcement of PVC award on 15th August 1999, did gave some solace to the family members of Manoj and of course me also, that the Nation has given back to his hero the best recognition to bravery it has. A truly deserved prize for the greatest and most talented personality I have every met in my life. And I do feel lucky to have him as my best friend. Jai Hind Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 107

Memories of Capt. Manoj Pandey P.V.C. (The friend) The last time I met with Manoj was March 1999. When I got the news that he is back at home in vacations I felt so happy to meet him. I went to his residence in Gomti Nagar at nearly five p.m., I saw him playing volleyball in the nearby playground to his home, he played for another five minutes only and we came back together to his home at Vishal Khand Gomti Nagar. That time he was putting on a dark coloured shirt and was looking quite healthy and smart. I could see the grace of an army officer on his face; always smiling and full energy. At the home his mother, prepared mango shake for us; but before we could take that; one of the glass fell down and got broken; we felt quite annoyed but we carried on with another glass of shake made. I too find this incident to be a bit scary. I was also very eager to meet him; whenever he came home in vacation, I told Manoj to inform about his location in details to parents whenever he was on duty; because for the last one and half month they had no information about him. They frequently asked me to talk to his friends in army and get his where abouts; but we could not locate any exact position of Manoj. He could not be contacted during this period. So when he was at home, it was a great pleasure to be with him. I told him that his parents were quite upset in absence of his information, and he should always update them for his whereabouts. As I have seen the trauma of missing Manoj on their faces. Then Manoj said it was the call of duty that he could not contact them. After dinner we slept together in his house at first floor. And it was the time when I and Manoj would talk at length. He would tell me how he tackled all the special incidences of operations in army and it 108 :: Hero of Batalik

was real thrill for me to listen this from him. He had come from Siachen posting at that time and it was really difficult for him to contact parents from the glacier. He performed well in Siachen tenure and he told me that he could be considered for some bravery award from Indian army. He told me some details of Mortrar fire weapon. How the life goes in glacier for a soldier. How difficult it is to survive in glacier at that height and how much Indian army takes the pain to get a hold on glacier. He told that Siachen is a block of snow about 80 km in length. And Indian army has a hold over 80% area of glacier at that time and they have to push the Pakistan army in remaining 20% to glacier only. So it was more difficult for Indian Soldier to maintain their position over larger areas. He told that even onions get deep frozen in Siachen and you cannot cut it with your teeth. But he said that his officers and soldiers do a great job in taking care if each other at that height. If you are bit careless you can easily be caught with frost bite problem; where your body parts turns into snow. He said at that height, the bigger enemy is snow and climate. And Indian army does the great job to sustain its troops here. He told that our good strategic position at Siachen help us to put enemy in uncomfortable position. He had lots of praise for his junior of Gorkha rifle their spirit to take life and sense of duty to serve the nation is simply perfect. He told that this Gorkha soldiers are simply amazing humans with their simple nature and great courage to serve the nation. He was a big fan of their physical fitness and loyalty of these Gorkhas. Manoj has brought some of the photo graphs of Mortrar firing also. I have found Manoj was developing same keen interest in his duty and also enjoy it to full. While talking, when I told him he should always update of his locations to his parents when he is on duty, then he said that, even his attendant and

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Jawans also take care of him in equal way. So both are important in his life. He said your life is safeguarded by these Jawans only during operations. And we should develop a good faith with them like a family member. He said while on duty his Sahayak knows every bit of him and even knows which colour undergarments I am using that day; so we have to be equally responsible for them also. We had a long chat in night. Manoj used to tell all his experiences with proper explanation as he knew that how much I missed the army career in my life. Next morning I came back to university campus and I invited him to come to my hostel room, which he promised to come. He came to University campus hostel after a week and even met my classmates of M.Sc. period. I introduced him to all my friends with full pride. I would be a bit excited in his company. My energy levels were always higher. After every meeting with him I always learnt something about life. This time Manoj gave me three passport size photo graphs in civil dress and asked me to suggest some suitable match for him to get married as he thought that being in university I can suggest him some better prospects. We listened some good songs together, then he went back. The last time I walked with him was from my LBS hostel to IT Chauraha via university campus. There were two more friends of Sainik School with us. I wished him happy Holi wishes, and he went home with S.K. Pandey who was also our classmate, we promised to meet in next holidays, with his three photographs and a promise to help him to search a suitable girl, I came back to hostel with my other friends. The very good thing happened in last five-six years of Manoj’s life with me was that we were always in regular touch through letters and he always motivated me to achieve good 110 :: Hero of Batalik

success in life. The last lecture he gave me while walking on the way was; that any human being cannot escape ‘basic instincts’ despite of him being conditioned in any type of external environment. So we should always accept ourself as naturally what we are. Manoj always knew the intensity my eagerness to join army so to fulfilla bit of this ambition he always detailed me all the experiences of his army life in full length. The method to explain the topic was simply great with him. He explained all the details of NDA life through his letters written; and once I happened to visit NDA in Oct. 1999 I could co-relate all his explanations and it appeared that I already knew 50% of the details through the eyes of Manoj. He was declared as the most upcoming ‘Mustang’ of his squadron. He was in mike squadron of NDA; which he told that it was a new squadron formed in recent years. He told me about the great scale at which NDA works. The perfect time schedule of NDA working; upto such an extent that so many time I found myself in my dream enjoying the NDA life with Manoj. He did well in NDA and when he used to come home during vacations training, I too would come from Gorakhpur to simply meet him. And whatever moments I lived with him in my two-three days stay with Manoj, was a big booster to make me work with enthusiasm for another six months. I remember putting on his NDA blazer and walking on the streets of Hazarat Gang market with him. Once another NDA guy met us in Auto rickshaw in which we were coming back from Hazarat Ganj. Then Manoj told me that this NDA chap must have known me certainly that I was putting that NDA blazer with its logo was borrowed only, because my grown up hairs were in no way match to any NDA cadet, which put me feel embarrassed and I thought that I will never do this type of show off again. I remember one movie released PVC during that Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 111

time. And once I told Manoj about this; then he told me that he had already seen this movie in his NDA picture hall but he asked me not to see, because he want to see with me one more time in Lucknow. But due to my restlessness I watched this movie in Gorakhpur only. Whoever had any relation with Manoj; always liked the fact that this fellow was a really different guy. His old house in Daliganj was a humble one with three to four families living together in small units on rent itself for a long time. But I found the great love and affection in these families and Manoj was like a super star for them. All the kids in his neighbour took him as their role model. He was showered with all the love and affection from all these families. I remember Manoj family was staying on I floor of building. And another fellow who was also tenant first floor with Manoj was M. P. Singh who was three to four years senior to him, and was pursuing his medical degree of homeopathy. So we used to call him Doctor. Manoj told me that he was one of the best friend Manoj had in his life, and this Doctor fellow was living there since his childhood days. Earlier I envied with this doctor for his closeness to Manoj but later on we went well; courtesy to Manoj for detailing me all the good qualities of Doctor. This fellow was like an extended family member of Manoj. Other families of ground floor were also close with Manoj. I remember one day when I went to see Manoj at his Daliganj house; then he was simply lying at door steps of ground floor and leaning against the main entrance with an English novel in his hand. Rests of the people were busy in their normal routine and crossing this main door even above his body. He was simply putting a wooden plank below his head which is generally used for sitting purpose while taking food. I found this posture of Manoj as very funny and yet a down to earth personality. 112 :: Hero of Batalik

After Sainik School life, the only time I got to meet him was during vacations when Manoj visited home. As if it was a good coincidence that God made the arrangements for the same; because I came back to the Lucknow after my four years stay in Gorakhpur for doing my Post Graduate degree. Daliganj house of Manoj was just adjacent to Lucknow University campus and his home was at a walking distance from my hostel room. One day when I visited his house, I found Manoj washing all the utensils of his house, he told me that mummy has gone outside and not feeling well so he was doing it simply to help her. I still remember him how cheerfully he was doing; putting on grey colour kurta and short at around 4:30 pm in evening in summers. He introduced me to his ‘Nani Jee’ who has come to meet them. Manoj told me meet her dear Pawan in full length because next time you are coming here, she may not be alive; and I do remember that in the next vacations when Manoj met, he told me that his Nani was no more. During NDA period of Manoj, I was in Gorakhpur but in his IMA training time I was in Lucknow only; so I could share better time with Manoj. We used to have long conversation together whenever I was with him. Because in all these events, I found an opportunity to get interact with this man. During conversations I found him always to be a great learned and superior human to me. His exposure to hardcore army life made him really a reformed and well informed man. I found him to be converting towards a more dedicated solider to nation with time from a teenage boy. He looked more committed to his duty, doing less callous acts. But all these transformations made me realize that his dutiful nature towards army can push him to sacrifice for the nation because at that time terror problem in JK area was at its peak and even Manoj used to tell about the causalities of army to me but he said all these to be part of army life and we need not Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 113

get emotional for the same. I remember after his first posting in J&K, one officer of Manoj’s unit got Martyrdom named Lt. Puneet Dutt, who later on got Ashok Chakra for his last operation in neutralizing two-three militants. When I asked Manoj about him; then he told me that Lt. Puneet Dutt was really a daredevil officer and who would never compromise on his principles to serve the nation to any second thing of life. Manoj found Puneet Dutt to be extra josh type officer. I remember I warned Manoj not to show extra josh during his operation activity because anywhere down the line I had this apprehension in my mind, that if there is need of duty to sacrifice life then certainly Manoj is not going to take a step back; but I wanted him to be manipulative man and not to show these extra josh qualities. He said that he deals these situations were tactfully and I need not worry. I cautioned him that this country has so much of corruption and political hindrances that he need not sacrifice his life for nation and at the max he can do is not to be a corrupt officer of army; and this stand of him, itself would be a good contribution to nation rather then sacrificing the life. I even warned him that his instinct to give all for the nation may not solve the problem of nation on permanent basis. He has to be a bit tactful in this regard. My main motive would have been to brainwash him and wanted to show him all the problems and malpractices happening outside in civil life and these problems in given form cannot be solved by few bunch of good people like him. But he always insisted that he was not giving to compromise on his set standards even if the nation was corrupt and indifferent to the contribution of army to nation, he did not like the political system of our country very much but that was not the excuse he was going to make to become manipulative, we used to talk on these topics from evening till mid night even when everybody in house went to sleep but we kept on talking and Manoj always defending his stand of a true army officer. 114 :: Hero of Batalik

One thing I felt in my life that I did not try to have so many friends when Manoj was with me. Mine maximum time and priorities were with Manoj only which somehow created a vacuum when he has gone. I had the full faith in him, I felt at times that if I am not alive in this world then Manoj will certainly take care of my remaining problems. I remember one of my feeling when I was in Lucknow University hostel that my one friend reminded me that I had not started cold drinks even since two three months of summer has passed in a sarcastic way because he knew that I had money saving attitude in hostel life; and infact it was a truth also. This comment of him made me really felt awkward and thought of having good amount of cold drink on that day only and luckily that time Manoj was present in his Daliganj house. I made a point to go to Manoj’s house and told him that today I want to enjoy a long cold drink session with him. Then he certainly felt my urge and we went to have a two litre coca-cola bottle on that day. While engrossed in long conversation we almost finished that bottle and I remember few amount left in it which we had given to Manoj’s younger brother. This time Manoj was in army; and this way I used to try to get solutions to my urges with Manoj only and he was really smart enough to know my exact feelings. I felt that Manoj knew more about me than myself and obviously I followed all his advices to me in hundred percent manner. One day we went from his house to (Hathee Park) which was two-three km away from his residence. We used to walk a lot during conversations going among us. He even told me about his plan to better his performance in IMA as compared to NDA. He suffered from jaundice in his NDA tenure to that extent that he narrowly escaped the chance to be relegated in that term because of long absence on medical ground. He seemed to be Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 115

more focussed on his IMA training and finally he bettered his rank in IMA. During IMA training he told me that he was so simple in his actions that he and one more friend S.K. Pandey used to eat bananas secretly when outside academy as other dear comrades would laugh at them if they come to know that these people enjoy better with fruits rather taking hard drinks. He had very simple approach in his life and he took all those steps with full confidence and justifying manner. He told me all the glamour’s and colourful life of army and immense exposure to life which it provides. I remember one day when Manoj was showing photographs of his POP from IMA where he was being sworn with stars to be a commissioned officer and tradition of final step in IMA being taken. Such that a gentleman cadet converts into commissioned officer of Indian Army. Then suddenly on seeing this photograph I commented that, “see Manoj; here you look like any sheep being given all the honour and garland before being taken to sacrifice him in the name of GOD”, which of course was a negative remark from my side. But we both took in light manner but today I do regret of saying so to him. He told me that all these Gentle Man Cades in Dehradun are like eye candy to girls whenever they are going for some outings on breaks from training. He told me that Dehradun city had more importance due to presence of IMA there. He do interacted with one girl there, I remember her name to be Hema. But all those things could not go to next level and these were kept for lighter moments only. He told me that he did not have all those aptitude to impress any girl. One good thing Manoj did post Sainik School life was that he developed some interest in photography, and he had lot of photographs on activities of NDA, IMA and his army life which are now as an asset for us. it looks like he had some intuition for 116 :: Hero of Batalik

any thing he did; I remember I warned Manoj through letters that please do not opt for infantry in his option before passing out from IMA and asked him take some easier branches like supply or signal etc. but I knew myself that he was not going to opt for supply branch of army. But I insisted that he can take engineers branch as option to serve in army as he had the good rank in IMA training and also since he has taken B. Sc. degree in NDA. But this Manoj the great; told me that he had filled all the three option as infantry only and that too with Gorkha regiment. He planned for Gorkha because he told that Gorkhas had their regimental centre at Lucknow and it will be better to connect as his home town being Lucknow only. He had infantry in plan to see the best part of army life rather easy mode to pass time in army. His overall rank in IMA was within twenty-twenty five only. He could have easily got any other good technical branches of army at this performances. Where most of candidates go for links to manipulate their branches he opted the toughest and which he thought to be the best wing of army. I also conceded to his wish which he explained me why he did so in one of his letter. He had one more wish to fight with Chinese soldier when he was in Sainik School life. Because he had some grudges with the outcome of Indo-Chinese war and he wanted to settle the score with them. Actually Manoj never bothered to take help from others to get solved his problems and wishes. He had this spirit to solve them by his own, even when how much difficult that task can be. I remember we both used to see “Param Veer Chakra” as a serial coming on Sunday morning on TV. We used to discuss in details about the heroism after each serial and all these stories do fascinated Manoj in more way than me. I remember his posting in Siachen glacier in 1999 when he gave me some information about Bana Post, and the great story of bravery being created by Bana Singh in Siachen glacier. Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 117

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Manoj was a big fan of his father; he always kept in his mind the hard work which his father was undertaking to meet the requirements of family. His father used to run one Beetle shop during early childhood days of Manoj; and he helped his father on the shop after his school timings when he was studying at Rani Laxmi Bai School. His school at Rahim Nagar Branch was more than six kilometres away from his Daliganj house. He used to walk six kilometeres every day in order to reach school in his middle school classes. Beyond this hectic schedule he maintained his top rank in school and won all India merit scholarship to enter into Sainik School Lucknow. He would always say that the amount of hard work his father was doing for family was simply great and he never wanted to waste a single penny of his father’s hard earned money. His aim in Sainik School to join NDA was also one of the reason that this army training Institutes are government funded and his father need not have any burden (economic) for his studies in career formation; because after XII class his merit scholarship would be discounted. As we all know that there is a enormous fund needed to carry on studies from xii class onwards; otherwise Manoj was a great scholar and he would have easily qualified any engineering entrance exam at India lelve at that time. I remember five of our batch mates from Sainik School did B. Tech. from IITs and those from NITs were also more than fifteen. It was his humble economic background and timely selection in NDA, that did not let him to take another career in civil life. He got AIR 50 in 90th NDA course exam. Whenever we used to plan same social gathering and try to raise funds for the same; then Manoj would simply say that he was not contributing any extra amount from the hard earned money of his father. He always kept in mind the hard work of his father shall always be honoured and never took up any action involving extra money.

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In Sainik school time, Manoj’s father had a readymade garment shop in Nishant Ganj market. It was a small shop and business was just O. K. His younger brother Mohit used to help his father at shop. Mohit was not mentally sound enough to carry on his school studies so his father trained him to do some help to him at the shop. First time when I went to Manoj’s home in Daliganj, then Manoj had passed out from Sainik School and he had qualified for NDA also. It was summers of 1993 when I visited his home. I reached his shop and requested Uncle Jee to make me reach their home at Daliganj; then Mohit gave me a joyride on his bicycle. It was a special moment for me to interact all his family member for first time. Mohit and papa used to commute with cycle only between his home and shop. Manoj also liked all the joy rides he had with his father on his cycle. He told me that his father used to run cycle very fast and how thrilled he felt going with him on his cycle some time to school or to his shop. I remember Manoj telling me that; he managed this small shop with some difficulty only. When I first met Manoj at his home he was quite delighted to see me at his place. I interacted with his mother for the first time. I stayed there at his home for two-three days. In this way my friendship with Manoj went on next higher level and it got stronger with this family level of interaction. Though I had a pain of not being able to finally get a seat in NDA. I was at least happy for my friend Manoj who was going to start his good career in army. We had a plan to join NDA together but the destiny had the different role to play. I really enjoyed my stay at Manoj’s place. I found three-four families in his neighbourhood a very close knit and he even introduced me to many of them 120 :: Hero of Batalik

with their special qualities respectively. I remember this because he introduced me to one aged men in neighbour who was very fond of eating food and sweets from restaurants and shops. He told that a major portion of his earned money got wasted in eating and drinking only rather taking care of his family. But Manoj had all the due regards to this old man. He was the hero of his locality. I think that he was the first person from this locality to get selected in army as an officer. Everybody felt proud of Manoj, and every student of his area wanted to do a bit like Manoj in his, life. He was now like a role model for them. I liked all the love and affection I got at his home and neighbourhood friends. I came to his place so that I can easily come to his home whenever Manoj was there during NDA term breaks. My stay a Manoj’s home for these two-three days gave me a new dimension of personality of Manoj as a human and friend. Now we were preparing ourselves to be friend for life time rather just being school type. Manoj was good in all type of games since his childhood. He used to tell that he had collected nearly two-three kilos of (kanchas) lead ball in his primary school years, while playing with local kids of his neighbourhood in his Daliganj house and interestingly his younger brothers lost all these ‘Kanchas’ in next 2-3 years when he joined Sainik School. In Sainik school time in IX class we were provided with skates, as skating rink was inaugurated in the same year in Sainik School. I remember Manoj learned this skating in just five hours on the same day despite of the fact that he got some head injuries during the practises. I remember myself doing the same level of skating in a week long time, his instinct to participate in all activates of school was very natural which pushed us also to perform somewhere close to him.

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I took up boxing Sainik School in IX class after seeing Manoj doing this in VII and VIII class consecutively. Even many of over batch mates like Gautam Gupta, Pushpendra got good results felt the same that Manoj has increased the bar of performance level of everybody in Pant house of Sainik School. Our Pant House become champion house in IX class; credit goes to Manoj the great. Even some of juniors accept that they started playing particular games due to effort of Manoj only, one of them being Mayank Singh; three years juniors to us who happened to learn playing volley ball from Manoj. He had some charismatic personality to attract the people towards him. Even we used to play small games in our routine activities like who will get ready first to join morning assembly like bathing, brushing, and putting on school uniform in shortest time possible. Even when our whole class undergoes the extra drill exercise due to punishments then also we would do these drills sportingly like who will do it first; and exercise were like hunching (jumping like a frog), front rolling etc. we all used to do to show off our physical stamina. The synergy between Manoj and me was that we never realized how fast time would fly off when we were together. I remember that the first time I came to meet him in Lucknow during term break of Manoj from NDA; I reached his home at mid night; when I took all the efforts to meet him coming from Gorakhpur; and mother of Manoj prepared hot pouries in mid night only despite of the fact that they already had nearly two hours of night sleep. But deep faith on our friendship made me confident enough to ring his house bell even at late hours. In the next morning I remember me and Manoj took a long walk from his Daliganj house to K.D. Singh Babu Stadium and coming back with all the talking on the way. Family members 122 :: Hero of Batalik

also could not understand what we all talked but all they can sense that we were the best of friends. He took me to ‘Mankameshwar Mandir’ in his locality which is quite famous there along the side of Gomti River. I have seen maximum part of Lucknow with Manoj only. And whenever I visit Lucknow all these locations do give me a big emotional shivering down my spine. He was the person who knew me more than myself so all his suggestions for me were like ‘Ram Baan’ to do well in life and I also followed them with blind eye. He bought one ‘Happy Diwali’ card for me to gift to a girl I had crush in my life and with his moral support only I could deliver the card to this girl. Because he said that if you have any feeling for anybody then one must have the confidence to say the same. And when I asked him he should also have one girl friend because, being a NDA cadet itself; is enough to get attention but he said in a plain way, that having any girl friend was not in his instinct and I hope it was more due to the great sense of regard he had towards the emotions of his parents and he never wanted to do a single thing which would put his parents in any awkward position. And I always supported him for his emotions and hence his parents also never put a doubt on my friendship with Manoj.

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Memories of Capt. Manoj Pandey P.V.C. (Personal Diary Glimpses) → The boss drives his men… The leader inspires them → The boss depends on authority … The leader depends on goodwill → The boss evokes fear … The leader radiates love → The boss says “I” … The leader says “We” → The boss shows who is wrong … The leader shows what is wrong → The boss knows how it is done … The leader knows how to do it → The boss demands respect … The leader commands respect → So be a leader … Not a boss. “Yesterday is already a dream Tomorrow is only a vision But today is well lived Make every yesterday a dream Of happiness and every tomorrow A vision of hope”

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A True Friend A thing which I will worship that is nothing but to have true friendship. Friends can become your father and mother when nobody is there to care and bother friends are there to share your emotions which help you to get out of tensions. In modern world life is so small and swift so accept a friends as Gods precious gift. Please be very choosy in selecting a friend. Otherwise for whole life you will have to repent I got my true friend you too choose someone. But to have true friend is to be one.

!!!Quotation!!!

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Mother Sweet Mother of mine My mother in my heart has a special place She is the star which shines brightly in the darkness Someone who will always give and bless She is someone who shares your joys and sorrows Never bothered of wrong tomorrows She blossoms as a flower, spreading love everywhere. Understand everyone with her tender loved care She has a scintillating personality Having the quality to forgive and have pity She is an intimate friend, who makes you feel secure Her love for you is absolutely pure She is marvelous and excellent Forever breathing place and conferment She is a pearl in ocean of understanding Her company is fantastic and fascinating She inspires you when you are feeling discouraged and lonely. Adding colour to your life by adding joy and glee The depth of her love can never be measured. She has in her the ocean of love treasured She devotes herself to the family No matter how much she is tired Most of all she is ravishing and by all she is admired I am glad that god has gifted me a mother who is unique A mother like her I cannot seek.

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ONE MUST GOVERN THE CLOCK NOT BE GOVEREND BY CLOCK

“The first step of knowledge is to know that we are ignorant” “Anger beings in folly and ends in repentance” “If all difficulties were known at outset of a long journey most of us would never start” “Pay attention to your enemy first, because they are first to discover your mistakes”

Talk By Dr. Vinay Kumar Life: Its activity GOD: It is the petrol of a car but the efficiency of car defers though the petrol present in same i.e. the way we carry ourselves is entirely on us no way God comes in between. Happiness: When need of person are less than resources available. Rest: Intense work is rest. There are various things in life which we would like to do but we ought not to do. GOAL: Selfless work done for the others. There are 4 elements in human body. (a) Physical (b) Intellectual (c) Emotional (d) Spiritual

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In prosperity our friends know us, in adversity we know our friends. Intelligent and intellect are two different person Brain has all desire and motives. Intellect does reason work. Don’t let your brain i. e. desire guide reasoning. If we cannot find happiness and satisfaction in ourselves we cannot find it anywhere else. Happiness does not lie in materialistic world. The first step to knowledge is to accept that we are ignorant. Learn the art of giving more to others than expecting from them. “He who trusts secretes to a servant make him his master” “We don’t know what we are, until we see what we can do” “Where boosting ends, dignity begins”

Things which we should improve in Army 1. When a new officer comes, he is full of josh, he want to work, but does not know what to do. Things and work should be explained to him properly. 2. In mess care should be taken that the young officers who do more of physical work and feel more hungry (due to age) are eating properly. 3. Senior officers should be approachable to his junior officers. 4. At times there are vehicles standing in unit but junior officers do not get them. If Geeps and Jongas are there 128 :: Hero of Batalik

and its free, it should be given to all those who require it. Vehicle should not be used as personal property. 5. There should be a system of maintaining note for courses in unit. That stigma of not doing well is to be removed. 6. CO should try to talk to all officers on post not to just company commanders. 7. Generally, nobody is bothered about you, in army you have to look after your own welfare. The teaching of ‘Academy’ that don’t ask about leave, CO would himself give it is a ‘Bullshit’ unless you ask you wouldn’t get leave. Books for personal library 1. Cdrs Handbook 2. Def 3. Attack (volume I and II) 4. Desert 5. Mountain 6. Jungle 7. SATM ( Special Army Try Mure) (a) Nodal Pt (b) DCB I and II 8. Appendix A 9. MIML and Regulation of army Things to be followed 1. AIM (Clarity of aim) 2. Always be in control of SIT 3. Welfare – Avoids causality at all cost 4. Regimental duties Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 129

(a) Follow routine (b) Don’t depend on clerks and sahyaks (c) Never crip and crib (d) Officers mess (e) Calling on For Exams 1. Know syllabus 2. Get role of examiner, coherent 3. Time management as per mark 4. Be brief in writing and talking Staff and Instructional Apartments 1. Individual ability 2. Social graces (a) Call on (b) immediate senior and junior (c) Ladies

“Some goal are so worthy, its glorious even to fail” th

29 April 1999 Today I came from mortar competition. This was first competition I fought for my unit. In this unit did not perform well though there were various factors responsible for it. But mainly it was luck which betrayed us. Boys were morally down. I make them normal but after coming to unit I am feeling ashamed certain lesson learnt in the competition:1. It was never fair so don’t expect it 2. As far as possible, senior officers should go for competitions

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3. Team which is going to take part in competition should not be disturbed. 4. What we want out of that competition should be clear. If it is as a learning or to win 5. All rules must be followed and this is first and last chance for me.

June 27, 1997 I reported 11 GRRC after lot of search in cantt area we could locate its location. I reported to Maj Ruppal in officers mess and came to know that he was leaving for Delhi immediately as his wife was seriously heart in an accident. I was made to stay in officers mess of 11 GRRC. Accommodation was good, also I was alone as my buddy Saha has not yet reported. June 28, 1997 Next day I was there for Mandir parade at 7:30, there I met various officers. In after noon I was shifted to Recruit lines as they had already made a training. Programme for us. But they shifted me to best of the room, at evening. Saha also reported and I got much needed company. June 30, 1997 In lines they all treated us officers but only problem was language. Nepali was easy to understand but difficult to speak. Recruits had really tough training there. They used to get up around 02:30-3. 00 hrs in early morning and sleep around (10:30-11:00) pm at night. Whole day was full of duties and all sort of works. They had a lot of problems in accommodation. There were many mosquitoes and sleeping without net was – fighting a battle without weapon. The food, over there was pathetic, just they were surviving on it. Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 131

July 8, 1997 Today we had dinning in officer mess (centre) as to maintain tradition I took few sips of Beer being a non drunker, those few drops cost me PT of next day. After taking beer we were asked to make small speech but I think commandant had understood my plight and excused us. July 9, 1997 Today was the momentous day for us we had lunch with Col. of the regiment. Maj Gen JBS Yadav, AVSM Vrc. This was life time opportunity as being the youngest serving officer to have lunch with senior most serving officer. Before lunch Lt. Col. Deka asked us various questions regarding regiment history, same session followed after lunch also. During lunch I took meat by mistake; being a vegetarian and having it in plate was embarrassing. July 20, 1997 Today was the best as well as worst day of my service till now, today was the first time I went out with our CO in morning. he wanted to show me how things function so that I get the over view of CI Ops. We went to see the cordon which was laid at last night and in that I also wanted to go. It was in build-up area CO checked the cordon and made some minor corrections. Then as soon as search started then one of the Col. gave report that they have got a house in which house holder is saying that there are three militants. They had already cordoned that house we all were standing and doing planning that how to tackle situation. Suddenly I saw a window opening and a person in kurtapayjama coming to it. I thought he might be somebody from house. He started firing everybody ran for cover. But nobody was hit. We became sure militants are there. We took positions 132 :: Hero of Batalik

in all the buildings around and cordoned the house properly. Then news came that one militant was trying to run and was shot dead. This was a happy news for all of us because we had killed one before in start of operation. We all took position and started firing those militants were also trained and they were observing proper fire disciplines. We brought down heavy fire by LMG AK Carbine, SLR and Grenade. I saw variety of ORs and officers. Some were bubbling with josh and some were taking their time but what I observed that ‘Gorkhas’ were good fighters and were generally quite brave. This was first time I was firing on hard targets and was also a fear to own injury. Troops the young ones were repeatedly to be told to take cover. But what I felt that some of them were real good. I thought that if somehow I become ‘Ghatak’ cadre I will keep these chaps in my team. Firstly firing was violent and slowly it went down and militants were firing one or two shots I saw bullets going all around hitting at windows we threw in grenades but nothing worked out, then that house was set on fire by BSF. As soon as our search party commander 2LT P.N. Dutt was trying to get through he was hit by a burst and after wards I came to know in evening after returning back that he died. The whole excitement, charm of life was stolen a bit. In this operation we killed 3 militants, got their weapons and certain other things. All those things could not supplement for life of that brave man (Dutt) After the operation we went for casual check of houses. I feel pity to see people so fear stricken. They looked innocent but still we cannot trust them. Life of normal person becomes hell on the day of operation. The loss of property was tremendous as a big house was Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 133

completely burnt and the building in which we took cover were badly damaged. The costly things like Kashmiri carpets, shawls worth (80000-90000 Rs.), (8000-10000) were treated like dust by us. Some things are really tempting but we did not allow our boys to take them. Lesson Learnt 1. Bravery is alright but over enthusiasm and jumping around is not required in a operation. 2. Things are totally different in teaching and on ground. 3. We should always observe proper fire control order. Trigger happy chaps should be checked. 4. Local kashmiris will never help unless they got fear. 5. Should always have proper communication at all levels 6. Safety of your men and yourself covers first rest will after words. 7. Militants generally take shelter in corner houses of locality or house from where they can easily run away if required 8. Never let security forces to take away things from the houses which are destroyed or from where our men are firing. 9. Its very difficult to force militant out of house so its mostly advisable to blow up the house 10. Never let people collected near the operation area because people have general tendency to see that what happening and how its happening it leads to let of confusion. 11. Bullet may just not injure, but can even kill.

August 2, 1997

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th

On 30 July I have been shifted to A company the much awaited thing by me. Now I will try my best to produce results. These troops are quite loyal, humble, and honest. Though somebody among them had stolen a torch of mine. But still I like them. They are carefree type and don’t take things seriously. They take time to understand a thing but once understood they just do it. My sahayak cares for me like my mother. The first day he met me he confirmed if I am veg or non veg; on telling veg he just could not digest the fact because for a Gorkha to be veg is just impossible they just love meats, they can eat each and everything on earth. But to my relief they started giving me best of veg food whatever they could. These people never tell about problems. You have to just find out about their problems. They rarely complain about things; troops generally do but they cannot tolerate hunger. They are very punctual on meal timings, if its their meal time they will eat and if they don’t get food that time just too bad. In CASO at 1130 h. I asked them if they are tired or hungry they were negative but as soon as it was 1200 h I found almost all the tiffin open. And to my amazement they were surprised as one could be, to find me vegetarian. Several times they asked me to have food which Raman had carried for me. When I refused he bought a glass full of Dahi for me, I really got moved that day. Here in Srinagar (CI Opts) life is quite uncertain, Duty also becomes monotonous sometimes. Results come only if some solid information is there otherwise getting a militant is a just luck. But till now I am happy and I hope to kill a few of them the someday. August 7, 1997 Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 135

Today in afternoon 3 Kumaunies gave us info that some militants are hiding in Panden village. So we launched a joint operation with them. Our task was to cordon the village; and Kumaunias task was to search it. Time as around 1500 hrs and our plan was to finish everything by broad day light. As soon as nd we were establishing cordon our 2 party led by Major R Singh saw 3 militants; Coy Cdr finished whole magazine on to them; one got wounded but they all escaped; when he tried to change his magazine. Luckily three of them came to my side, as I was in lead; so I saw them on some height but mistook them for civilians but when I called them that time, they started running and I saw carbine with them I immediately opened fire on them but as I was not used to AKs and its change lever at right and I was looking for its back side; behind where its in SLR. I fired some eight to ten rounds all single shot but those militants fled away. That was my first chance that valley gave me and I missed it. It all happened because of my not being used to AK and its handling. Anyhow because of fire; militants again went back to village and we cordoned it; then we and Kumaunians hurried up so that search can be completed within a day light but militants killed 2 of kumaunians and took their weapons also. So search stopped and it was dark. Our coy remained in cordon in night. Somehow we managed to keep militant inside village and did not let them escape. Finally when in morning at around 400 hours militants made a daring attempt to escape we killed 2 of them and recovered their arms and ammunitions along with Kumaunians arms which were returned to them; the one that was left inside, who injured 5 Kumaunians including 2 officers; and finally was burnt alive in 2 house. One had managed to escape but due to injury he died after 2 days in a mosque.

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Lesson learnt: 1. Troops and self should be properly educated about weapon and ammunition. 2. If officer is with them; Gorkha would never run away. Sept 1, 1997 st

Today is 1 Sept 1997 we had Battalion Raising Day and it was not organised the way it was supposed to be. Being the ‘raising day’ it should have been celebrated at Battalion level or some things should have been done to the coy which were outpost but nothing was done. We celebrated it entirely on coy level. We had Mandir parade; followed by Sainik sammelan and not knowing that it was a parade I reached there in combat without belt and cap and felt embarrassment. Second embarrassing thing was not knowing the drill for giving report and followed by Bn Song. Now I feel that till now I have not paid adequate attention to adjust myself in Gorkha Paltan as one month has passed and there is not much change in me. I will try my best to improve further. But things ended up very well because after sometime CO came and held Sainik Samelan in Coy and gave some satisfaction that at least we were not that neglected as earlier we thought to be. Secondary he gave news to officers and JCOs that Bn might be moving in a few days i.e. 2 days or so. It created certain amount of pain among us because we were not prepared for such a thing. Then we had ‘Bara Khana’ first time I saw what it means because I had heard a lot about Bara khana for a Gorkha Bn. In Bara Khana most important thing is wine, you have meat and wine and it’s is all that party. Then we had dances and a few very good dancers came up, it was really very enjoyable time in this hectic schedule of CI operations. I feel

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being a part of them. Got some confidence that I will come over this language and culture problem. September 5, 1997 Today suddenly order came that Bn is shifting to new location. It sent a feeling of buggery among us because after a month or so we were earmarked for glacier tenure. But we shifted to new location with Bn HQ at place called trogta and our Company to place called Rajdan. It was cold here and neighbouring Battalion (RR) told us that we can expect snowfall up to twenty feet high. Our area of OP was down in a river called Bonar. We went down for first time hoping to come back by evening but it took us around 4 hours to reach down and our legs were screwed. We stayed there for night in a tent with a Gujan family. This was first time I slept along with troops and enjoyed the op. Terrain was very hard and tiring and gave a lot of job satisfaction. In Rajadan pass I first saw the snow fall and even snow was on our tents it gave a good feeling. The scenic beauty of this place is such that even people may land up paying thousands of rupees. Saying of Jahangir that Kashmir is Paradise on earth is very true. From here we operated in jungles and mountains but never got militants. Lesson Learnt: In mountains never judge distance by km but by time. Always cater for eventualities specially bad weather. Smoke can be seen from far off, fire may not be Never put on new shoes or one which are not comfortable. 138 :: Hero of Batalik

Never hurry up while climbing but maintain steady pace. Try to place your whole foot than moving on toes. Gorkhas generally lack initiative till the time they are told. In Rajadan atleast I learnt 70% Nepali so problem of communication reduced. December 31, 199 to January 1, 1998 Tonight for the first time I went to the DSOI(MHOW) with all my other friends. Seeing things over there it came firstly as pleasant surprise but after that it just reduced to surprises. In first glance thing appears to be in so much systematic and organized manner that I was really impressed. After playing tambola we went for dance; there scene was totally different and it came as cultural shock to me. The way girls were dressed in that winter (so less of clothes) and the way people were drunk. Dance started as usual we approached few of girls but they simply refused. Then out of disgustion young officer started stage dancing, it was the time that everybody stopped and only young officers were seen on the floor. Though we all were enjoying; I for the first time had drink (willingly) cigarette, chicken and even did some flirting around. In my heart I am sad that I have done all things which any mother had told me not to do. Please God forgive me. In our run for coping western culture we are loosing on our own heritage. I am just confused about this dual life style of a typical Indian one who is best at showing off but is most conservative at heart. January 26, 1998 - 00. 32 hours

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Just now I came after seeing ‘Deewana Mastana’ movie for second time. As I don’t want to sleep so I am writing. When I came for course I saw that few people are prepared with but others like me were totally blank, but we all had will to do well. We all started working hard. In my first leg, generally people were sorted off due to INSAS firing; after that people were seemed to have started enjoying the other things and forget about course. This was time when I remember, what our Adjt. Capt. Mundi had told to me, that maintain your consistency. I worked hard and I was put up for group cadres but could not qualify; as that time I got nervous of speaking as I have never spoken in public before. Then came my MMG and AUC leg. Before the start only I had info that we don’t have to study much so I started enjoying along with my friend Jolly. It was a shock for me when MMG was over and it was difficult for me to get A+ in leg, then I worked hard in AGL and easily covered up but by this time I had no intention to get an ‘I’ (Instructor) Grade so I did not practice and was sorted out in TP. Till now what I feel that I should practice public speaking that can only help me in future courses. Now ADP leg is going on people have interest in computer games but I want to learn; knowing the fact that I wouldn’t be able to learn after time of leg gets over, which is too small i.e. 4 days, but I would put in my best. April 1, 1998 Lesson Learnt 1.

Always joke with a person who can take that.

2.

It’s not necessary that whatever may be your intentions behind other person also understand.

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May 21, 1998 [Commando Course, Belgaum] My Ghatak course started on 8th of April when I came at this place I found that I was full of josh, as I had got ‘B’ in last leg so I desperately wanted I in Ghatak. I found course quite easy because. I was in good condition to take physical fuck. I was also lucky to have a good buddy who always helped me. Things were going on well; I was giving almost 100% performance in everything but screwed up my English written and missed my ‘I’ so in total this year of mine has been total waste as far as course are concerned. Lessons learnt 1. Always go bit prepared in courses 2. Don’t leave things for last moments. 3. Its confidence and smart talking which pays in army not knowledge 4. Have showmanship qualities.

My Glacier Tenure After screwing up in courses, I was a bit relaxed as my unit was in CG and I knew it could be exciting from ‘Ghatak’. I was forced for 2 month leave. In Lucknow I came to know that that one of my junior ‘Kadian’ is there in centre I met him there and was happy; atleast there would be few young people full of josh. We both started together for unit; till Chandigarh we did not have any problem we stayed there for three days as there was no flight for ‘Partapur’. Its very beautiful and well planned city, I th enjoyed there with my air force friends. Then finally on 25 July we boarded AN32. Firstly the plane journey appeared very thrilling but it proved to be otherwise. It was more like a bus. So much luggage was shifted inside but somehow we also managed Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 141

to it. This all was very suffocating once engines started it appeared that everything would get dis-mantel and we could be again standing amidst that junk. But it took off and everybody felt relieved. From top; view was very thrilling and beautiful. All mountains were snow covered with dangerously sharp edges and mountains were also of different colors. As we approached ‘Leh’ we started feeling cold then we got top view of leh city finally we landed at ‘Pratapur’ it was journey of about an hour which made us dump deef. Now we were in ‘Partapur’ the place famous for Bde HQ Siachen bde. There we stayed for four days to acclimatize. Near transit camp only there was village; where we saw Ladhaki people. They are very religious and this whole village was full of temples called ‘Gompas’. In Gompas there is no idol or portrait but a huge thing to rotate, they rotate it from outside and move around that ‘GOMPA’. They follow Buddhism and has extreme faith in ‘Dalai lama’. There we ate ‘Khubani’ as there was no restriction. Also we came to know that all these ‘Khubani’ tree are owned by people of village; to give money to ‘Dalai lama’; which comes by selling ‘Khubani oil’. In this place there is hardly any agriculture. People are either in Ladakh Scout or monk. They do have lot of cattle; specially sheep and goats. Then I also saw double hump camel which is specialty of this Nubra valley. After staying for 4 days we started for our unit. In way we passed villages like Sumur, Tangsete, Panarik, Washi. These all villages are located along the river Nubra. Panahik is world famous for its hot springs and is tourist spot. Whole way was very beautiful but road was ill maintained so our whole body started aching like hell. After about five hours I came to know that we are approaching base camp. In base camp site of snow was really unbelievable beautiful. The ice over mount was all black and it appeared more of black stone than ice. Then I saw base HQ and near to it was memorial 142 :: Hero of Batalik

on which name of glacier martyrs was written. Then we saw Bofors, medium and AD guns deployed. River Nubra originates from snow. We crossed the Nubra and reached Base II where our Bn HQ was located. Reaching Bn after so long; I felt as if in home. Base II was well maintained by our ‘Gorkhas’ . We had OK type accommodation. Here it appeared that all air force ‘heptres’ especially and army was in well coordination. Hence it appeared that main problem was to maintain supply on top. In base camp we got all sorts of special ration. Base camp appeared like any other peace station and as place was well accessed by heptrs so was visitors paradise. Then I started by SBS i.e. Siachen Battle School training. There they taught 2 point, 10 point, and 4 point which was really very tiring. The first week of training was hard but after that we started enjoying Jai Hind--

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Memories of Mother of Capt. Manoj Pandey P.V.C. (The Son) Manoj’s life was full of struggle; but in all these struggles some lessons can always be learnt by coming generations. Every moment of his life was full of miracles. Whatever he said to me before, was always found to happen. But being a mother I always took all his words easily and could not value the miracle behind it. I think he had the gift of God that whatever he will say will become an event and whatever he ask God for, will get it. Whenever he talked to me on phone he will enquire about home updates within one minute and put the phone off by saying “mummy please take care of yourself”. And whenever I ask him that why he break the talk so quickly; he would say that, “mummy, you know all about me”. I used to go to satsang every Sunday, one day I said to Manoj, that when I talk about God to anybody, then nobody cares. Then suddenly he said that, whenever God is in-front of anybody; the person cannot believe that he is God. Like when Ram came on the earth, then nobody believed him to be a God & and even his mother Kaushalya took him like his son only. Kaushalya took care of Ram as her eldest son and made him grow with this mindset only. Everybody in his family took Ram as their son, elder brother, friend etc. only. And today when Ram is not here in this world then everybody treat him as God. At that time I could not have this thought in my mind that he is trying to tell something about him only. He had a very strong intuition to forsee the future.

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Captain Manoj Pandey was very courageous and brave person. He used to give regard to elders and love his younger ones. He was very sharp in mind and always used to be first rank holder in class. He had big aura on his face and sharpness in his eyes, which cannot be described. He always spoke truth and he was a multitasking man. He had high morale and was always fearless. I remember one incidence of his childhood, when his uncle used to drop him to school in initial year of schooling [grade II & III] level. He used to come back walking only after school timings. One day some boys misbehaved with him while returning; then he did not say anything to them. But when he came home, then he put a knife in his bag without telling anybody, next day when maid in school opened the bag in school, she got knife in it. School maid gave the knife to the Principal. When principal asked Manoj, that what he will do with this knife, then Manoj said that he want to stab one boy; who is disturbing & bullying him every day while returning from school. Maid came with Manoj on that day to home and told us, the fearless act of Manoj. It was blessing of God or miracle of Manoj that when he was only four month old; then my mother in law told us that we should do a function for the Anna-Prashan Kriya of Manoj. It is an (act cum ritual) done on child when he is given (outside) food (Anna) for first time. This was to be done in the 5th month only. As Manoj was the eldest son in his generation, everybody was excited to join it with full enthusiasm. But as luck could have it; in the 1st week of 5th month only, Manoj had already two teeth grown in his lower jaws. We all were surprised to see this. As teeth were grown even without any toothache or fever. In our family {Anna prashan}cannot be done if teeth are already there. 146 :: Hero of Batalik

But we all celebrated the ‘Anna prashan Sanskar’ with full enthusiasm. He always had smile on his face with curly hairs and big eyes; he looked so adorable. His childhood passed like a dream. Like every other child he used to play and study but with excellence. How my twenty four years passed with him; (it feels) like a moment. Sometimes I get the voice of flute in my ears, he used to play. It happened like this that; once we took him to “Mata Rani Temple” and after darshan, we asked him if he wanted any toy etc.; he pointed towards a flute in shop. He used to play it before me and entertain. He loved his flute so much that whenever he was to leave home; he would place it very carefully and ask me to not let anybody disturb it. As time has passed Manoj got admission in Sanik School but his love with flute continued. Whenever he came home during school holidays he would play with it. One day I said that, I will bring another flute for him, but he insisted not to buy the new one, as he liked the previous one more. When he was going back after holidays in March 1999 to join his unit he gave his flute to me, and asked me to, please put it in a safe place. I feel it to be my big mistake not to recognize his greatness when he was with me. He would always follow my words; he was also very favorite student to his teachers. When he was in Green Field School from KG to V grade; he always stood first in class. He was excellent in studies; but I always found him study minimum at home. Then one day I asked him; that you don’t study at home and I feel that you may get fail in exams; then he brought his school bag and asked me to check him for any contents of the books in bag.

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He was excellent in sports also; he used to play all type of games. He was declared best boxer in Sainik School. Whenever he came home from Sainik School, then also he had a fixed routine of getting up early by four a.m. in the morning and going for jogging. After coming from morning exercise he used to drink lots of water and then started studying school books. He always had some books in his hand at home. He had developed a great skill of skipping ropes while jumping above the inverted pitcher of clay. He used to do all acrobats while jumping on it; and in those days I couldn’t see anybody else doing the same. Today also I get the noise of ropes hurling in my ears sometime. He had big faith in God also. That time I used to go to satsang on every Sunday; and when I come back he would ask me all the details of what happened there. He also insisted me to do satsang regularly. Today when I sit alone; I see his face clearly and it feel like that he is talking to me. Manoj had a unique personality, he used to complete his task well in advance; whether it was studies, sports or any household act. He planned the things so meticulously that it appeared very easy in execution. He never took any task to be impossible. When he was in Rani Laxmi Bai School in VI, VII and VIII grade, he used to come first in every class. During VIII class he came first in all sections with special merit. His school teacher ‘Kanchan Mishra’ came to my house and told us that Manoj has got first rank in class; hence he will get a prize from Chief Minister of UP and invited me to join the function. Manoj had qualified for Merit’s Scholarship Exam of all India Public School, where he will get monthly scholarship. U.P. Chief Minister then, Mr Narayan Dutt Tiwari had given the award to Manoj. And when I saw Chief Minister of U.P. garlanding my 148 :: Hero of Batalik

son, tears come into my eyes which Manoj could also feel from the stage. I was so happy to see all this happening. Everybody in school used to call me as mother of Manoj; which was a matter of pride for me. He was like favorite student of every teacher there. He got scholarship in all classes of VI, VII, VIII and whatever money he got as scholarship was deposited in bank. Papa used to give pocket money from this amount only. After VIII class, Manoj had qualified for Sainik School admission in Lucknow through All India Merit Scholarship Test. Now Manoj was supposed to stay in hostel, and then I asked him to withdraw the scholarship amount for personal expenses in Sainik School. But he said that he wanted to buy one new cycle for ‘Papa’ as his present cycle was too old to ride. One day he bought a new cycle for ‘Papa’. We were very surprised to see this; and whenever I remember all those things, then my hands start shivering, tears come in eyes and heart starts sinking. Then only I find Manoj is standing in front of me and motivating me to write it all. One day Manoj said to me, that mummy one day I will do such an act that, this whole world would came to know of me and when I asked him what great he was going to do, then he started laughing and said ; “mummy wait for right time and do remember my words.” Today whenever I go to any place than everybody knows me, by his name only. It makes me feel like the miracles of Manoj only.

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Manoj had a versatile personality; some time I found him like a son, then some time he was like a friend, a teacher or a ‘Saint’. During vacations he used to talk to me a lot; and said that “mummy, I learn a lot of things from you in conversations”; but I found myself to be learning more. Seeing him at home during vacations make me feel that, my God has come. And whenever he would to go back; I counted his time of departure in terms of hours, and then in days. After two -three days I used to write one letter to him. And whenever he replied me; he used to say that “Mummy” why do you count the time of my departure in terms of hours and days. Please try to forget me as I am a true solider and there is no fixed time schedule of ours to go to or come at any place. Manoj always used to say that, mummy “Work is worship.” And doing a good hard work is better than visiting any temple. He said that God is the soul of every human, without Him, a man cannot do anything. Manoj was a man of fortune, and he was equally lucky for us also. After his birth we never faced any big problem which was not solved. Manoj had ten Chakras’ in his hand, a sign of king and he was no less than any king. He had a genius mind and he also never felt scarcity of money; because he used his money very wisely. With this saved money he used to help some poor people, even he felt very happy after doing so. If somebody in our neighbourhood got ill; he would certainly visit him and ask me to pray for his soon recovery. One incident I recall; when we were returning from NDA along with Manoj after his POP (passing out parade) from Pune in train; I asked Manoj to take some food but he simply denied. Then I asked his ‘papa’ to bring some snacks for Manoj; because I felt he was looking hungry. Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 151

When he brought the lunch pack for him and handed it over to Manoj, then suddenly an old lady came in front and started staring at food. Suddenly Manoj handed over all his food to old lady without saving any amount for himself. I was quite surprised to see all this. When we reached home I asked Manoj that why he did not save any amount of food for himself, as he could have given only a part of lunch to that old lady, then he said that he got happiness in feeding that old lady, than taking it for himself. I felt so happy after listening these words from him. He said, mummy you only have told me that whenever you start taking your food, then please look around yourself to see that if somebody is there hungry; then do offer him the food first. I felt he always followed my sayings. Now I miss him a lot, my every day passes like a year; nothing interest me more; and some time it feels like, I don’t want to live any more without him. Whenever I am alone I always think about him, I cry and sometime laugh at, remembering all the conversations among us, and then I realize that he was very close to me and I would get lost in his thoughts. Today also whenever I am very upset he comes in my thoughts and motivates me and ask never to cry. Manoj has proved himself in many ways in his life span. He loved me more than anything in this world. But I could not find that whether he was my son or son of nation. One day I was alone at home with Manoj then I felt that, it could have been better if Manoj had been at home and doing some business or service from here only, and this I told to him. Then he sat beside me and said that only few mothers are fortunate that; their sons are in army and serving the nation. And there are only lucky ‘faujis’ who happen to participate in war during their service time. “Mummy” you should also think about other faujis who live with me all the time and they have also left their home for 152 :: Hero of Batalik

the nation. We live all together in serving our common mother, i.e. Bharat Mata who is your mother also. There had been a lot of brave soldiers in this country. If somebody has to live then try to live like a lion, whether it is for a short while and then he looked towards me with a very calm state of mind and asked, “mummy’’ if somebody starts harassing and beating your mother, then what you will you do; whether you will remain quiet or throw that fellow away; same is true for our mother-land and we all faujis are doing our duty to save her. Now let’s stop this conversation and you start preparations of my departure. He has always planned his journey well in advance. He also used to go to Sainik School a day well in advance, so that he has enough preparations done to start with the routine of school. He was the top ranker student in Sainik School also. He stood first in VII, VIII, IX and XI class of Sainik School. In X board exams he suffered from chicken-pox. His friends used to tell that he was the best all rounder in his class of Sainik School. Manoj had great information of life principles, he would advise me as if he had the full knowledge of Geeta and Ramayan. Simply unbelievable he had the maturity of life with strong intuition. That is why he briefed me all about that has to happen in 1999 in the year 1996 only. When he was passing out from NDA and I could not recognize why he was doing all these activities at that time. On the occasion of POP (Passing out parade) from NDA; he wrote a letter and invited me with ‘Papa’ and if possible to ‘Sonu’ also to join his POP ceremony; because he has to show us all, so many things in NDA. I was in double mind, that whether should I go or not; as we had not enough money at that time to make all the arrangements for the trip to NDA. Then I got a second letter from Manoj, where he has written that “Mummy” you and papa must come to see POP in NDA. And if Papa Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 153

cannot come, then you atleast be here, because he knew that if ‘Papa’ was coming, then there will be some loss in his business of hosiery shop, at ‘Nishatganj market’. But as luck could have it, my husband said, that we both will go there in POP of Manoj and we made the arrangements of tickets to Pune. I was so happy that I am going to meet my son; and will see all the things there he describes in letters and also more he wanted to show me. We took a train from Lucknow and reached Kalyan station next day in the night by eight p.m.; then we took a connecting train to reach Pune in the same night by three a.m. We both were `new to Pune city; so we took a place in guest house and started waiting for the next morning. We waited for the whole day but could not find Manoj; then I got bit restless because he had told me that he will come to receive us at Pune station only. I asked my husband, to go outside and enquire about Manoj being in nearby area. When he went outside, he found that Manoj was searching for us so rigorously; he started running on seeing us and hugged me tightly; then I could see tears in his eyes and realized how much Manoj loved me. Then he started saying that “why you had stayed in private lodge”, as there was a special NDA camp on the railway station itself and all parents of cadets were supposed to be in that camp only. He said he was searching for us, since five a.m. in the morning. He took our bags and we reached NDA in his NDA Bus and stayed in guest house there. He was so excited to find me at NDA; whenever he will go for practice parade in morning; then every day he will come to us and touch our feet before joining parade. He took us in all parts of NDA campus and explained all the things there in detail along with its importance. Whenever any of his friends say, that Manoj, please let your parents see the things by themselves, then he said that they will see, but who will explain about the details. 154 :: Hero of Batalik

He took us to Pea-Cock lake, Air Force Training Block, Gole Market, Sudan Block, Museum and Science block. He had shown his squadron (Mike squadron) and his room also. He took us to Para Gliding place and to a small temple where a lot of people were gathered. Manoj bowed his head in temple and I did the same; inside the temple I followed all the acts what others were doing; Manoj kept smiling on seeing me doing all this. Then Manoj told me that this is a temple, where every cadet comes to take blessings after POP; and whenever any ex-cadet of NDA sacrifices his life while serving the nation, his name is written here on the wall. He read out some of the names written there but I could not follow what exactly it was for. Then some of his friends told Manoj, that why he was so bothered to tell all this to me; then he said that whenever if it is required, then she may not require any body’s help to get the details. Then he asked his friends to get aside and take a photograph of him with us. I was a bit worried while getting all these details from Manoj, then he told me not to worry much. Then he introduced me to an attendant in his Squadron, who was of old age. This old man started praising a lot for Manoj, and said that Manoj will certainly be a big man some day; I asked Manoj; “what great he has done for this old man that he was praising him so much”; then Manoj said that he treated this man as his own grandfather. When I went back to NDA in year 2001, after Kargil War; as I was invited; I could see all the things in NDA again, like Science Block in his name, his photo in Sudan Block; his name written in the list of PVC at Sudan block, his name written in the temple where he took the photograph. All this happened again but in absence of Manoj, and then I realized the great intuition Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 155

power what Manoj had; as if he know that all these can happen to him. Manoj had a sharp IQ, when he was only two year old; he could count from 1 to 100, A to Z. One day I took Manoj to our home-village in Sitapur district, where Manoj happened to meet one of his Mamaji, he asked Manoj what he has learnt till now, and, can he count from 1 to 100 numbers? After listening this Manoj suddenly started counting and finished all the counting of numbers within two minutes. We all were surprised to listen his act as Manoj was just two year old at that time. He looked so fluent and clear in words. Then Mamaji told me that your son has some miraculous power and please don’t expose him much to people, as to avoid bad eyes. We all looked very surprised to see the great talent what Manoj had shown on that day. He was darling of everybody in the house. He was so loving to his Buaji, that she used to call him, Patte Poot, as he could talk so clearly even in his young age. She never let him stand on ground; also took him in her arms, whenever she could not see Manoj for a short while, she would enquire that where her “Patte Poot” has gone. And Manoj would also come running towards her on hearing his name, as “Patte Poot”. He also loved his buaji too much. He used write letters to Buaji, from NDA and even in service period. Whenever he was at home during vacations; he would always visit (Buaji) first on priority. Once Buaji got ill; but we all were not aware. Manoj told me that, “Mummy” I feel that Buaji is not keeping well; then I asked him how did he know that Buaji is not in good health; then he said that, his inner conscience feels so. Then I said “right now it is night; but if you feel so, you can visit her early in the morning.” As Buaji was staying six-seven kilometer away from 156 :: Hero of Batalik

our home. Manoj got up early in the Moring by four a.m. and he reached to Buaji’s home walking only by five a.m. When he rang the bell, first question he asked, was that; whether Buaji was ill? Everybody in house was surprised to get this question; from Manoj. Once he was at home at Gomati Nagar during vacations. We were planning to white wash our house; and when I asked the same question to Manoj, as Diwali was coming in few days. Then he said that Mummy, we can do it; but do it from tomorrow onwards; then I asked him, why not today itself? Because I have made all the necessary arrangements of white wash for that day only. I asked him to shift some of the articles by himself and remaining by some labourer. Then he said that, Mummy I feel that “it will rain today”. I asked him how he can be so accurate in prediction as there were no clouds or rainy season. Then Manoj went to arrange some labourers for white wash, without much discussion and white washing started as per the scheduled time. But as it was one pm; there were clouds and it started raining heavily. It was raining so heavily that we could not take inside the shifted items of house. Then Manoj came running to me and said; this is why he was postponing the activity to another day. From that day onwards if I had any activity planned for myself, and if Manoj stopped me from doing so; then I always went by him only. On that night I could not sleep properly; that how Manoj could foresee the events. Last time when Manoj came home, then it was without his information, which was quite unusual for me, as whenever he was coming home, he would inform me will in advance. I was very restless and worried for him during this period. Even I could not sleep properly. But finally Manoj came home on 15th February 1999, it was Tuesday. I was talking about Manoj only that we had no news of him to a lady in neighborhood. I was Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 157

simply crying at that moment when a boy came running towards our house and said that; “Aunty ji” Manoj Bhaiya is coming. It was a pleasant surprise for me, that what this boy was saying correct or not. Few seconds later, I saw Manoj coming with his luggage. I was full of joy and I hugged him so tightly at that moment as if I will not let him go again. I looked at him closely as if it was one of the best moment of my life. Whatever the moment I had spent with Manoj, were with pleasure and happiness, my remaining life is simply useless. I am living now just by remembering those golden moments. Once he told me that good people come on this earth for a short time only; when they go back and then only everybody on this earth starts taking them as an extra ordinary personality. Some people also follow the deeds and behaviour of “good and great people and make their life successful; and some other on this earth even don’t care for the great deeds”. Once I asked Manoj, that from where he got all these knowledge, then he said that he reads Geeta and other good books. Whenever Manoj was with me I found in him a good friend; with whom I can talk all details of life. He used to listen all my words carefully and solve my problems. Now I miss him a lot when I cannot share some of my feelings to anybody. Today also whenever I remember the conversations among us I can find solution to most of my problems and I feel like talking to him on phone. He told me, that Mummy, whenever you could not find solution to any problem, then listen to the voice of soul. Because God lives in everybody’s soul. After Manoj left this world, I take him as a God. I feel his presence deep inside me. I feel that I am full aware of all the happenings around me because of his presence in me only. It makes me feel like that my eyes, hands and body are of Manoj 158 :: Hero of Batalik

only who help me do my work. I find me and Manoj with a single soul and two bodies. Whenever Manoj was hungry or in some problem, then I could sense to this, and used to ask him if he was in any trouble? Then he would say that he will tell all in detail when he is back at home. Manoj used to solve all the problems so smoothly which appeared impossible for others. He used to say; “death to a person is a sure truth because whoever is born; is sure to die”. And every human shall take the happiness and sorrow with equal pace. “Mummy please don’t get disheartened much with sorrows”. Manoj had the heart of a King, he had some exceptional qualities which only I could see. He took special care to his juniors in student life and Jawans in army. He was gifted with special talent from Saraswati Maa; because whatever he will say, it would happen. He used to pray Lord Shiva also. He had a mark of ‘Trishul’ on his chest. He had mark of ‘Snake’ of Shiva on the right side of his belly. He had complete 32 teeth. All these special signs in his body were observed by me only; because I used to have very close observations on him. He used to put fast on Maha Shiva Ratri without taking even water and would chant Mantra i.e. “Om Namah Shivay”. He used to see say that he had so many targets to achieve in life. He would say that God is always with him and whatever happens to him will be good and justified only, so I need not worry. His life is not going to be waste; it will certainly prove some purpose. He would say, mummy one day you will feel for certainty, so proud of me. I will make you meet so many person in life. What I thought that since he is in army life, that is why he is saying so, but I could not think that life will take this shape. He left me alone to meet so many people. I could not believe that Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 159

he will leave me so early. Today I find all his words coming true, and maximum people meet me because of Manoj only. Today is 8th of July, I am feeling very low, as today only Manoj came to my home last time in July 1999. I am in stress and feeling restless. I keep on thinking about him only and walk up and down on the stairs. I miss him a lot and I feel my life to be waste without him. Today while thinking of all the events in life of Manoj; I fell asleep on my sofa only and I found Manoj to be sitting beside me and is talking to me in the same way as he used to do while coming in vacations. He said, mummy, I have come today from a far distance since today you were missing me so I thought to meet you; I hugged him tightly and said. Its very nice that you took leave to meet me, I was so worried in your absence; and now I will never let you go away. Then Manoj, said “mummy, I will always be with you between; 3rd and 8th July. Manoj said that I am there with you ever if I don’t get the leave. Then suddenly I felt a big jolt and woke up and started searching Manoj and then I felt that I was in dream. I felt sad that why did I wake up. It would be better if I continued sleeping and carry on taking to him more. I started crying not to find him now. Last time when Manoj was preparing to leave for his duty, I was not feeling good with this; that “why he is going away from me”, otherwise every time he will go since childhood after vacations, but I never felt so restless as at the moment of his departure. I asked Manoj, “Bhaiya” when will you come back next time. Then he said that he will come in October, then I said, Bhaiya, October is very far, can’t you come sometime earlier. Then he said while wearing his shoes, that “Ok, Mummy” I will try to come in first week of July. I felt so happy to listen this from him. But today I cannot believe that Manoj will come home wrapped in tricolor flag and I never felt that first week of July will be the worst time period of my life. I feel like somebody is 160 :: Hero of Batalik

scratching deep inside and pinching on my heart but any how I try to live with this truth. Manoj was an honest and brave soldier. Now I find the glimpses of his brave act in eyes of every child where ever I go and the whole world knows me with this name, as “Mother of Manoj”. This title has given me a great respect from people of India because there are very few living mothers, who are known to whole world with the name of their son. Manoj has become now, the legendary soldier of Indian army; and he has extended my family as whole of my country, India He is called as “True Son of Nation”. Now I feel why I was given the role of “Mother India” in my school time as a student. I feel like every event in life is pre-conceived. He has given me that highest level of honour, which our country can. I pray God; to bless me with Manoj as my son in every birth I take on this earth. Jai Hind

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View of Sister (For.. the Brother) It’s really difficult to write in all details about my big brother, as like, that you cannot define God in words; and of course he was like a God for me and my family. Still I am trying to write a little bit of my feelings for him. Capt. Manoj Pandey who is known to world for his bravery in Kargil, I didn’t know how had my twenty two years passed with him, and, yet I could not recognize the ‘God soul’ of my brother who came in ‘Kalyuga’ as another form of Lord Krishna who had gone back after eliminating all those devils. We were four brother and sisters, and my ‘Dadda’ was the eldest amongst us. He was also the most talented and cheerful guy. As a kid we used to play a lot together; and laugh too much also. We used to laugh so much, that even our mother would warn us that, if we are laughing continuously, we can fall ill. Even then, when were laughing, she would hit us with an air blower pipe, and then we all four would get silent. At that time I could not realize that we are playing with a great soldier of “Mother India”. Now I do feel lucky for getting such a great elder brother who is ‘Param Veer Chakra’.

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He was very punctual of the time, and excelled in his studies. Because of our poor financial condition, he had to walk to school. He got a cycle for himself at a later stage. My father didn’t arrange any tutor for him, yet he always stood first in class. He got admission in Sainik School Lucknow, through All India Awaaseeya Examination. He was just 12 years old, when he was put in hostel of Sainik School, for his further studies. He got selected in NDA Examination in his first attempt only, after th completing his 12 class from Sainik School Lucknow. During his Sainik School studies of six years, my parents didn’t get a single complaint for Manoj Dadda. I remember, in one of his educational tour to Jaipur, my parents had given him twenty five rupees as pocket money, and when my Dadda came back from tour, he brought two pair of slippers; one for me and another for mother. When mother asked him, why he didn’t spend for himself, then he simply laughed seeing towards mother. When ‘Dadda’ was in Sainik school, we three, brothers and sisters used to wait eagerly for his home visits; and all of us would get very happy whenever he was with us. Mother also used to make special dishes when he was at home. We would also go on some outing with him along with parents. After Sainik School, ‘Dadda’ went for NDA training at Pune in 1993 July; and we again started waiting for his home coming in every six month period, that time he got term brakes from training. It was like a festival for us, when he was at home; my mother used to be most happy; and Papa would get more busy in arranging all the requirements of home needs. How fast his twenty days vacation would pass we could not realize. Mummy used to get busy in last days of vacations in packing all his needed items and we would send him off always with heavy heart. He completed his IMA training also likewise, and finally got commissioned in Indian Army in June 1997. His first posting Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 163

was in Kashmir as a Second Lieutenant. Now my father got bit relaxed on seeing Manoj Dadda, getting settled in life; Mummy also was looking free from hassles of life. Now my parents also started dreaming for a happy married life of ‘Manoj Dadda’. A lot of proposals started pouring in for his marriage and the condition of our house also started improving. Now we have shifted to our new home in Gomti Nagar area of Lucknow from Daliganj; where we had our rented accommodation, and of course we had our all childhood memories from Daliganj house only. Dadda did a hard work in shifting the household items from Daliganj to Gomti Nagar on bicycle only. He used to love my son, Anuj, a lot, and would play a lot with him. ‘Dadda’ was a big fan of Buaji also; and he would always visit Buaji, whenever he came in vacations. Whenever I go to somebody’s marriage ceremony; I don’t know why tears come in my eyes and I start missing my ‘Dadda’ very badly, because we had a lot of dreams to see our Dadda in the dress of groom. I start feeling like crying and then only I realize that how much my mother would be missing, Dadda. After completing the shifting of house, Dadda had also gone back to join his duty. We all would always accompany him while seeing him off till railway station despite of his insistence of not to accompany him. We would all see him off with tears in our eyes till the train gets out of sight. Even I would wash my face so as not to let ‘Dadda’ see tears in my eyes. Now mother would again start counting the number of days when Dadda would come back home. After few days Dadda generally makes phone call to our neighbour’s house as we didn’t have the landline phone at that time; and my mother would hardly leave home for any purpose as she used to wait for

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his call every day, as she didn’t want to miss his phone, because timing of phone call was not fixed. Next time when Dadda was back home on vacations in summers, we made a plan to buy a refrigerator. On that day, Dadda went to buy a fridge, but he came back with a proposal of landline phone connection rather than fridge. Because he didn’t find himself comfortable for mother to attend his phone calls at neighbour’s place. Today we have the same phone number in our house what ‘Dadda’ has arranged for us. Our Dadda was a unique guy, and he came like a God in our house. Last time he came back home in March 1999, and when I got this news, I reached mummy’s house just after him, my eyes and heart got fulfilled with emotions on seeing Dadda. I always felt that my Dadda, was like “lohe ki lathee” for my parents, which will never break. We in family felt like that, all our struggling days are history now, and only good times are there to come. He had really worked hard in building our Gomti Nagar house. It was Holi vacations, when he was here last time with us. He helped mother to make a lot of “Guzias, papad” along with a lot of fun and jokes. He used to help mother in all her household works; since I got married few years back, so I was not always with them. I used to come frequently to mother’s place as my husband’s house is also in Lucknow. ‘Dadda’ had made a lot of arrangements in this Holi, even he had arranged some ‘Beer bottles’ for his friends because of a lot of requests they had made. We didn’t have fridge at that time, so all these beer bottles were put in a bucket filled with ice, one night before the ‘Holi’. Next day in morning all his friends came, they enjoyed beer, snacks and danced a lot outside our house on loud music. Mummy told me that, ‘Dadda’ had also danced a lot with his friends and played colours with them and neighbours. Then he took ride on cycle and went to the places of ‘Bade Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 165

Chachchu, Chhote Chachchu, Buaji, Mausiji’, Daliganj and at my home at Aishbagh at that time. When I saw Dadda at my house, I was surprised to find that he had come by riding bicycle only despite of being an army officer. He just enquired for Jija, and not finding him at home he played a bit of Holi with my son Anuj and then gone back. After so many years he was with mother at this Holi; she was also happy for the same reason. Mother had very limited resources at home, there was no fridge, cooler at home, yet ‘Dadda’ always remained happy and kept on smiling. We had a lot of problem related to water at our Daliganj house, and my two younger brothers used to bring buckets filled with water from far off distances; and whenever Dadda was at home, he also used to fetch water despite of my mother saying not to take this pain. Jokingly he would say that, if he didn’t work, he would get lazy. He used to wash the whole rooftop with water and then we all would sleep together at night. He also used to play flute and he looked like ‘Lord Krishna’ with it. Luckily Mummy had also celebrated his birthday this time in Holi vacations. This time when Dadda was going back, we didn’t see him off till railway station, but from the home only as he was not willing for us to take that much pain unnecessarily. I remember he went on bike with his friends, and he was sitting in the middle. My Mummy and Buaji had become bit suspicious, on seeing three persons going together for a journey, which is not a good sign, hence they prayed to God at the same moment to take care of ‘Dadda’; but destiny had it’s own way. Dadda had to join his posting in Pune in few months, but in between came the news of some Pakistani terrorists occupying key heights of Kargil, Drass and Batalik. His Battalion was deployed in Batalik sector where he fought his epic battle with enemy. We didn’t have anybody among our relatives also in 166 :: Hero of Batalik

army, so we couldn’t gauge the intensity of war time situation there or any concept of martyrdom. Parents would always sit in front of television or newspaper, and they were getting restless as everyday there was news of many soldiers attaining martyrdom. I thought that my Dadda is a big officer in army, he need not fight with soldiers and he would be simply passing orders by sitting at one place but I was proved wrong. Now I realize how can any officer push his soldiers in death trap without leading them from front. Dadda had given his last call from battlefield in last week of June 1999, and mummy could not hold her tears on hearing his voice; but ‘Dadda’ advised mummy to take care of ‘Papa’ and herself: and “tell Papa to build the top portion of house”; “tell Sonu, to focus on his studies”; “tell Mohit to help Papa properly at his shop”: “tell Babita to take care of Anuj and Jeeja”. Mummy accepted all his advices in ‘yes’ node. rd

On 3 of July, Mummy made a call to me in evening and started crying, she told that, she had seen a dream last night, in which Manoj had been hit with a bullet and something must have happened to him. I told her that, since she worries a lot for Dadda, that’s why she got this type of dream. Any way I had gone to her home in morning next day. I reached Mummy’s house along with Anuj; it was Sunday, Papa was also not feeling well and Mummy was having fever for the last three days, but they felt a bit happy on seeing us. Papa had not gone to open the shop that day, but sent Mohit, instead. ‘Papa’ asked mummy to prepare some ‘khichdi’ and after taking a little bit of that, Papa went to shop. Then ‘mummy’ said to me “let’s we also have some khichdi’’; but the moment we were going to start our meal; door bell rang up, when I went to open the door, mummy also came from the back. There were five to six people, outside and I thought that they might have come for some proposal of Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 167

‘Dadda’s’ marriage, because during those days there used to be frequent marriage proposals coming. The moment when one of them said, that they are from 1/11 Gorkha Rifles, mother started crying, because she knew that something must have happened to ‘Dadda’. That time onwards only very bad day started for my ‘Mummy-Papa’. Dadda had made the supreme sacrifice for the nation while fighting enemy at ‘Khalubar’ hills. He must have remembered all of us but we could not be there at his last moments; we couldn’t get a chance to listen to his final words, his last smile, and the final Goodbye touch. Today also our life is incomplete without him despite of having all these materialistic things. I pray God to give all the strength to my mother to bear this pain, because she find herself alone in this world; she miss him every day and every moment. She does not have any charm left for life but she is just carrying on for ‘Papa’ and family. Now I can see a soul of God in ‘Mummy’ also, who got this strength to bear the pain of the ‘ultimate loss’ for the whole life. I could not see the real happiness in Mummy now, I can see in her eyes, some emptiness. Why did we grow up? Why Dadda gone away from us? Why can’t I go back to my childhood days again? And let’s play together we all brothers and sisters. All these thoughts still come in my mind, and then I get this answer that, “my best days were with Dadda; who would made us laugh and live a lively life. My only wish is to meet my ‘Dadda’ some day and tell him that, “Mummy is still missing you every day and night, please come only once to give a warm hug and quench the thirst to her searching eyes.” I do feel proud on being a sister of such a great person, where everybody in this country give us so much love and regards because of ‘Dadda’ only……. Jai Hind 168 :: Hero of Batalik

Views of Batch mates I remember that confirms to me, that he did not achieve bravery only after becoming commissioned officer, but he was brave since childhood. This incidence confirms me and my family, his act of bravery, ability to handle difficult situation and his sharp acumen, while he was still a Cadet in UPSS. We both were fond of playing Hockey and football. This incidence goes back to 1989 when our Sport Coach was preparing us for the upcoming competitions. I had a major accident, during one of our internal practices. One of my classmate’s (KM Singh) hit hockey stick deep in my stomach while we both were running in the opposite directions to carry ball to the goal post. Not aware of the consequences and body being hot while playing, I still run back, after falling, to catch back the ball, but just in few seconds of hitting, blood start coming out of my mouth. Manoj, quickly pulled me on his back and rushed to Medical Inspection room, and later consoled my parents too that all is safe and in control. It took almost two weeks for me to recover from that accident. But this act of courage can add as another flagpost to believe that Manoj was best and we are proud to know him as our Hero of UPSS, Hero of Kargil war, during our schooling at UPSS, even today when he is not with us and He will be ‘Hero’ always in our memories to come. S.P. Raghuvanshi School No. 1417 I will never forget my close bout of boxing with Manoj. No one believing that I will lose the bout. But Manoj fought like Arjuna and won very close bout. After winning he was weeping for me that why I had lost and opening my boxing gloves. It really tells that he was great. Dr. Manish Kumar Singh School No. 1417 Param Veer Chakra :: Capt. Manoj Kr. Pandey :: 169

View of Teacher The State of mind of a person is known only to the person himself or almighty god. Late Capt Manoj Kumar Pandey’s state of mind, in the same way would be known to him only. He must have decided to lead a life of a brave soldier, a brave man in true sense; i.e. why he in a very short span of his army career did, that what an officer, sometimes fails to do in his whole tenure. Nobody Knew about Manoj during his stay at U.P. Sainik School as a Cadet, that a short statured shy but always smiling boy will be proving himself such a tough soldier. Whenever he used to play hockey or run in the Inter-house cross country competition, I saw him run like a bullet. In class room, he was calm and composed type of cadet, or while working in chemistry laboratory always I found him studious. The time passed, he cleared the school exam, NDA competition and when saw him after passing of NDA, he appeared as a chrome steel bodied and this proved that he is firm in his determination to lead a true soldier’s life. How it happened, I steal an angle to analyze, that he was waiting for a War like KARGIL for his heroic deed, he himself or his colleagues must be knowing better, but he fought the KARGIL war and fought in real sense. In such a small period, he proved the worth of his hard work, determination and truthfulness in his duty. He fought and fought for his Nation and against the unwill war started by enemy. He brought a great name for family, School state, Army and for his country finally. He sacrificed his life for the country. I feel highly upset while writing these lines for his brilliant mind, as this boy must have proved a still greater & great officer in his unit in army, had he not, lost himself this way, though great heroic. He has a great soul, I pray Almighty to 170 :: Hero of Batalik

grant peace to his Soul & when he is in new form he must live a great, great life like Late Capt Manoj Kr Pandey, (PVC).

Mr. R. P. Shukla, Chemistry Teacher UP Sainik School, Lucknow

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Last Journey of Capt. Manoj Pandey In the Eyes of Print Media, Lucknow

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