192 36 4MB
English Pages 64 [68] Year 2019
GRÒ WING through PLA Y EXPERIENCES OF TEDDY AND BUD
By Ruth E. Hartley
Columbia University Press NEW YORK 1952
Copyright 1952 Columbia University Press, New York
Published in Great Britain, Canada, and India by Geoffrey Cumberlege, Oxford University P r e s s , London, Toronto, and Bombay
Lithoprinted
EDWARDS A N N
in
U.S.A.
BROTHERS,
A R B O R ,
19
INC.
M I C H I G A N
5 2
Manufactured in the United States of America
Foreword In 1947, under a two-year grant from the National Institute of Mental Health, the Caroline Zachry Institute sponsored and provided facilities for an exploratory study of play in fostering healthy personality development of young children. The project was organized and supervised by Lawrence K. Frank, Director of the Institute, and was conducted by Dr. Ruth E. Hartley. A one-year grant from the New York State Mental Health Authority, in 1948, provided the means and opportunity to discuss and evaluate the findings of this study with groups of teache r s and directors of nursery schools and other child centers. What was found by them to be most valuable and especially pertinent for directors, teachers, and other staff of such centers, a s well as for parents, has been compressed into a volume entitled Understanding Children's Play.* Such additional material as they considered of particular interest and value to teacher training instructors and to adequately trained personnel in centers for young children is presented in this booklet and in another entitled, New Play Experiences for Children.t This booklet contains the observations of groups of nursery school children in exploratory projects with puppets and miniature life toys and in planned play groups. Publication of Understanding Children's Play and of the two booklets has been made possible by another grant from the New York State Mental Health Authority. Growing through Play: Experiences of Teddy and Bud illustrates dramatically that a true understanding of children's play can be achieved and projected only when the child's use of each medium is seen in relation to his use of every other medium, and is regarded within the framework of his own living problems. No behavior on the part of any child is truly random, and no f r a g ment of behavior can be fully understood by itself. Nor is there a rigid set of rules for interpreting children's play, because for each child the materials he uses have unique values dependent on associations with his past and on his ability to project meanings and use symbols. •By Ruth E. Hartley, Lawrence K. Frank, and Robert M. Goldenson. Columbia University Press, 1952. t ß y Ruth E. Hartley, Lawrence K. Frank, and Robert M. Goldenson. Columbia University Press, 1952.
iv
FOREWORD
These play stories oí Teddy and Bud are presented by means of running accounts of their individual and their group play experiences over a period of many months. It is, of course, not possible within the space limitations of this booklet to present complete studies of the two children. However, segments of their play life are recorded in fairly full detail to illustrate with more than usual clarity the meaning revealed in the activities of each child. Accompanying comments a r e suggestive of an approach to penetrate obscurities frequently encountered by teache r s and others. The author wishes to express appreciation of the valuable assistance of Dr. Luther E. Woodward and Miss Irene C. Komora in condensing and editing the manuscript for publication. Ruth E. Hartley January 5, 1952
Chapter I: Teddy TEDDY, brought to the Center at the age of three, required help f r o m his teachers very different f r o m that needed by Bud. Their stories present dramatic contrasts. To the same degree that Bud was wild, destructive, and hostile, Teddy was inhibited, submissive, and fearful. Teddy's teachers characterized him as a "vegetable." He r e sponded neither to materials, children, or adults, nor to the Center itself. He expressed little interest and displayed no initiative in any activities. He carried toys about instead of playing with them. For a long time he remained completely withdrawn from the group. He would just sit, rocking his body back and forth, sucking his thumb, talking to himself, biting his nails, or twisting his hair. He wet his cot during every nap, and f r e quently soaked his clothes at other times during the day. He was frail, showed poor coordination in walking and running, and seemed completely devoid of energy and of ability to do anything for himself. After several months at the Center he approached Sally, the next most timid and withdrawn child in the group. His approaches were frequently impulsive, uncontrolled, and aggressive, and he would laugh if she cried after he had pummelled her. Next, he began to persecute smaller children and to rebel against routine. Frequently, he said, "No, I won't," to every suggestion, and when frustrated, he would go completely berserk, hurling himself against floor and walls. His r a r e approaches to adults at the Center were occasioned by fear of being hurt by another child. There was one bright spot in this picture. He used language well, expressed himself intelligibly, and showed a fund of factual information somewhat above his age level. This indicated good native intelligence, and suggested that his behavior probably r e sulted from false concepts about people and things. When Teddy's mother brought him to the Center, she said, "Teddy seems to prefer the company of boys to that of girls and to make up with boys more easily....He seems generous with his toys, and he really gets along very well with children. He's an excitable child and sometimes—as at the sound of fire engines —displays emotion."
2
TEDDY
It became known that the child lived with his mother and his grandmother and that Teddy's father seemed to be out of the family picture. When, infrequently, his mother called for him, she showed impatience, and made unfavorable comment on his appearance as compared with the other children's. When his grandmother came, he would run to her eagerly, face alight. She listened attentively and patiently to his account of the day's experiences. On the basis of this meager knowledge and of the discrepancy between Teddy's actual behavior and his mother's description of it, the teachers constructed an hypothesis on which to plan a course of action. Obviously something was lacking in Teddy's relationship with his mother. If her picture of Teddy had been given in good faith, she simply did not know her child. If she had deliberately falsified the picture, she was dissatisfied with him. Either Teddy's mother had not been with him enough to know him, or she was completely insensitive to him. Two possibilities presented themselves as reasons for his initial behavior at the Center. Excessive isolation and confinement in his early years might have prevented emotional and social growth beyond his state at the time, i.e., approximately that of an eighteen-month-old child. However, such isolation does not foster superior language development like Teddy's. Another possible explanation was that Teddy had somehow been terrorized against reaching outside of himself and exploring the world about him. Whatever the explanation, it was decided that Teddy needed a great deal of reassurance, stability, warmth, affection, and enough opportunity to discover at his own pace what nursery school was like. Teachers could help best by withholding criticism, gently guiding him into activities, deftly indicating how to handle materials, and encouraging whatever social advances he might make. Nothing could be done about his enuresis until more information was available about conditions of his babyhood. It could be just another sign of immaturity, indication of a desire to be a baby again when things might have been simpler and more pleasant, or expression of resistance to coming to the group, or the result of all these factors. Consultants and teachers agreed that improvement would come when Teddy had acquired greater selfassurance and had overcome any f e a r s about the group. Since a child does not grow unless he finds the process pleasant, teachers sought ways of making Teddy's experience in the group enjoyable and reassuring.
TEDDY
3
Records of two observations made four months after Teddy's enrollment, and just two weeks after help was sought by his teachers are illuminating. Record 1. At Rhythms. January 14. Teddy came into the room with Miss C while I was observing another child in the group. After his outer clothing was removed, he sat content to have Miss C's a r m around him. He didn't listen to the story she was reading, just watched with roving eyes and finger in mouth. When the teacher began to play the piano for a "sleeping" game, he just stood apart, hand in mouth, rocking gently back and forth to the music, and watched the others who were pretending to go to sleep. After a while he went to the piano, tried the keys momentarily and when the tempo of the music changed he started on a gangly run after the other children, stopped suddenly, returned to the piano, patted the keys a bit, and then banged them a few times. Next he tried to creep like the others and after a little while ran to Miss C. While she walked with him he started to creep again, stopped to watch the piano being locked, and then, with Miss C and the other children, walked to the washroom. Here he tried to climb the radiator cover, then went to urinate, came back to resume his climbing, discovered the valve, and stood on it. Next he played a bit with the water and soap dispenser, washed his hands, dried them and threw the paper towel into a container. He climbed onto his cot after the others were already on theirs. He abandoned a brief attempt to remove his shoes, curled up for a while, then sat up, relaxed flat on his back, yawned and sat up again when Miss C began to read. Throughout the reading he tore small pieces f r o m a newspaper on his cot, stuffing them alternately into his mouth and nose. All during my observation his eyes were wide open and he seemed only vaguely aware of his surroundings. Record 2. At Clay. January 21. When I arrived, Teddy was seated at a table, entirely oblivious to the child with him, and gently patting a ball of clay. Pretty soon, with his left hand, he held it out to the teacher, said "snow man," and while returning it to the board and squeezing it, he pointed with his right hand to the other child and kept repeating what sounded only like "eh h h, eh-h-h." For about three minutes, he a l t e r nately squeezed the mass of clay with both hands, tore off a piece, rubbed this into the board, and then returned it to the original mass, all the while looking around toward Miss C. He became aware of me, smiled, and suddenly tried to stuff the detached piece into his nose. Unsuccessful in this, he put it into his mouth, removed it after a second, and then just watched the others. Miss C came over to ask, "Well, Teddy, what did you make?" Stretching to put the ball into her hand, he said, "A snow man." To Miss C's "Would you like more clay?" he answered, "No," and then almost jumped
4
TEDDY out of his chair to follow her. Pointing to the clay he had given her he said, "Put my name here." Standing with legs apart, rocking back and forth, thumb in his mouth, he watched her label the lump of clay until another child came to Miss C for comfort. Then he tugged Miss C's smock, let go, and ran to the bathroom. Hurriedly he dispensed soap on his hands, washed and dried them, and ran back to pat the clay balls Miss C had been making. Then he ran abruptly to a little girl he recognized, patted her eyes, hair, back, and arms, first with one and then with both hands. The more closely he nudged her, the more fearfully she retreated. Finally, she ran to the teacher and Teddy just stood.
These records corroborated the teacher's opinion about Teddy's developmental status but indicated a wide gap between the actual level on which he was functioning and their original ideas about it, and revealed considerably more responsiveness to people and materials than had been originally recognized. Stuffing paper and clay into his nose and mouth showed him to be at the infant stage of taking advantage of the world about him by making it part of his body. His treatment of clay indicated that he was in the exploratory stage of its use, and that his exploration was at a primitive level. Instead of using it to "make something" (third and fourth stages of clay manipulation), he was trying to find out what kind of material it was in terms of feeling, smell, and taste. His answer to the teacher's question was shear rote imitation derived from the fact that she had been making snow men for the children. His play with the water and soap dispenser suggested he would probably enjoy using materials providing direct sensory satisfaction and requiring no technical skill. Lavish use of water-play and finger-painting seemed desirable. Though still hesitant in his approach to adults, he was very dependent on, rather than indifferent to them. The pleasure of the story hour for him was not the story but the close contact he was experiencing with his teacher who had her arm about him. Ambivalence was suggested in his seesawing back and forth between the teacher at the piano and the children. Apparently he wished to be one of the group in the creeping game, but he did not have enough confidence to join them until she became the "bridge" by walking over with him. At the same time, running back to give the piano keys a few bangs indicated both some confidence in himself and faith in his teacher. Tugging at Miss C's smock showed resentment at another child's coming between him and her. His preoccupation about security in his teacher's esteem kept him looking around for her while working with the
TEDDY
5
clay. Yet there is a level of self-esteem in asking to have his name put on his clay ball. Uncertainty about himself deterred him from offering the teacher affection openly; he did it surreptitiously by patting the clay balls she was making. A considerable stride forward in his social development is indicated in his approach to the little girl. His desire for closer contact with her was direct and unmistakable, but its manner was reminiscent of a baby's way of contacting others. Encouraged by these revealing records, the teachers continued their plan of not pushing him and also made more appropriate materials available for his manipulation. But Teddy's sudden attachment to Sally gave rise to a new problem. The aggressive ardor of his pursuit and the vigor of his treatment caused fear for her welfare. However, the observation made on January 28 revealed enough to dissipate their fears about any jeopardy to Sally's social development, and helped resolve the problem. The observation is recorded below in its entirety because it shows also the kind of behavior which justified the teachers' first description of Teddy. Record 3. January 28. Miss C was putting drops into Teddy's mouth as I entered. He drank his juice as she requested, set the empty glass on the table, and just sat until Miss C returned, knelt by his side, and said, "Guess what?" Teddy's reply was inaudible but Miss C's next comment was, "Yes, a surprise for you and everybody. Let's straighten out the doll corner." Several children went with Miss C and started to put things away, but Teddy went to Sally. She glanced at him dubiously, pushed him away, and called to Miss C who asked Teddy to go over to the others. He smiled at Sally and ran to where an assistant teacher was unwrapping dishes and kitchenware. He stood tiptoe to see over the heads of the others, and when the teacher said, "Well, 1Í you are not ready for these?", he shouted,"I'm ready too." as the others said, "Yes, we are. " Then' with both hands gripped between his knees, he jumped up and down saying, "Me, too," until he received four plates, two cups, and a fork. He piled these on a table nearby, then picked each one up separately and piled them again. Then, with a cup in one hand and all the rest in the other, he approached another table which two girls were setting. One of them reached over and took the cup and he walked away casting side glances at various children, stumbled, and all the dishes scattered. Lifting himself to all fours, he carefully piled one dish atop the other, scrutinized the cup, and ran it over his hair before adding it to the pile. He rose, took everything into one hand, and walked to Sally in another group. She took the cup and saucer he gave her and walked away, with him following and proffering her the rest with both hands. When she
6
TEDDY took them he tried to put his arm around her waist but she bumped him away with her body. Holding his left hand in his right, he stood, watched her go, pulled at his neck, ran both hands through his hair, and darted off to pick up a toy milk bottle and red cup and then crossed the room again to offer them to Sally. She took these and again left him standing with fingers of both hands entwined, elbows bent, shifting rhythmically from one foot to another. Next he put one hand to his trousers, picked up one leg, walked to the doll corner to gaze momentarily at a busy pair, and said to the teacher, "Give me something." He promptly took the chair she handed him to where Sally was sitting. He hesitated about sitting down, put four fingers of his right hand in his mouth, one into his nose, and ran his other hand through his hair and turned around. Sally got up to pull a doll from the nearby shelf. He pulled out another and handed it to her. She put both into a bed and covered them. Laughing abruptly, he took an oilcloth horse from the shelf and dropped it on the bed. Then, with body bent, hands gripped between knees, he looked around, straightened up to walk away, finger in nose. Suddenly he wheeled around toward Sally, overtook her as she ran away, and embraced her. Squealing, she pushed him off and ran to the teacher, with Teddy in full pursuit. The teacher held Sally protectively for a moment and Teddy just watched. Next he followed her to the clothing cubby where she handed him a card taken from the top of the cubby, took one for herself, and with him ran to show the cards to the teacher. Hand in hand they returned to the cubby where Sally took his card and put it back. Jumping up and down, with hands interlocked, he hit her on the head and then ran off to stand near the teacher. She held up her card and he ran back, squatted near her, and put both arms around her. In a stooping position, with knees bent, and both hands on his trouser crotch, he followed her as she ran off and reached her at the doll corner. Leading him by the hand back to the cubby, Sally grasped his wrist to restrain him from snatching a card from the pack she held and pulled him down to the floor. While they crawled together Teddy tried to climb her back, then pulled himself free as she twisted his hand. Laughing aloud, he picked up a red truck nearby, ran it on her back, and then let her pull it away. Laughing in a lower key, he jumped away and deliberately leaped into and out of a block setup built by some other children. Then spying Sally with a purse, he ran to put his arm around her for a moment then punched her on the back. She walked off and he followed to sit beside her, but when she showed her purse and cards he rose to sit in a chair nearby, opened a book which he had lifted from the table, looked at it intently, lifted it over his head in tentlike fashion, closed his eyes and said, "Waaaah, aahh, aahh." When he opened his eyes he found Sally sitting opposite him and he tried to put the book on her head, but she walked away and he put the book on his lap and continued to turn pages. Suddenly he spied me, laughed, closed the book, put it on the table, and picked up another
TEDDY
7
tinkle book. He ran his hands around its irregular edge, bent it back open to look at the spiral binding, closed and put it down. Tongue between teeth and licking his lower lip, he looked around, knocked over his chair to run about fifteen feet to Sally at the cubby, and then just stood watching some children playing with blocks, rocking backward and forward and then fell into the cubby. Taking hold of the sides, he lifted himself out and ran both hands through his hair while saying, "Aaah." Putting a finger alternately in nose and mouth, he kept sidling up to Sally as she moved toward the separation board. Reaching that, he held on to it with his f r e e hand and looked over it. Then, with both hands on crotch, he ran after Sally and collided with Miss C who took him to the bathroom. While urinating he looked over his shoulder at me. After flushing the toilet, he ran to Miss C, took her hand and was led to the cubby. Here he pulled some clothes to the floor near Sally and sat on them. When he reached for the block she held out to him, she pulled it away. Picking up other blocks nearby with both hands, two and three at a time, he threw them out of reach. Then he jumped and sat on Sally. When the teacher nearby said, "No, Teddy, put your leggings on," he r e leased Sally but called back, "No, I won't," and dragged his coat and leggings back into the cubby. Then running to about two feet from the teacher, he shouted, "I won't go outside." Holding his crotch, he ran to climb over a chair onto a table, was unsuccessful, yawned, put a finger in his mouth, looked around, and ran to where Sally was sitting. He straddled her back, pulled her hair and collar, and banged his closed fist on her head. Screaming, she pushed him off. Then he picked up a red glove and threw it aside and Sally followed to hand him a card, which he took, tore in two, and after handing both pieces back to her, he walked away to climb on the radiator valve and look out of window. After being pushed off by another boy, he tried, unsuccessfully, to climb onto the cover. When the other boy left he again climbed on the valve. Abruptly he looked around, jumped off to run after Sally and, laughing aloud, he patted her shoulder, then took his coat and leggings from the cubby, glanced at the bed where Sally had put two dolls, walked to Miss R and asked, "Where is my Neal, I was looking out the window, remember the time I was sick and couldn't go h e r e ? " Miss R replied, "We missed you. How is your Mama?" Teddy made no reply and just then Neal came up to thrust his foot forward for Miss R's gaze. She admired his new shoes, while Teddy watched, finger in nose, until he spied Sally sitting down fully dressed. He walked over, sat on her back, put a string from his glove around her neck, and she pushed him off and left. Teddy picked up her purse which was lying on the floor and pitched it into the cubby. Sally returned to retrieve it and pushed Teddy aside, shouting, "No, no, it's mine," when he tried to get it. Then he turned to Miss C to help him on with his clothes.
8
TEDDY
Obviously, Sally was leading Teddy on, alternately encouraging him, running away, and again luring him, and she was often the instigator of what looked like an attack by Teddy. Moreover, it was clear that she could well take care of herself and was enjoying the relationship. Teddy's proffer of toys to Sally made plain his belief that the way to show people you liked them, and to be liked in return, was to give things. His growing feeling for group membership is apparent in his shout, "I'm ready, too, " and in his inquiry about Neal. This record also revealed how the teachers could be more helpful to Teddy. For instance, instead of directing only Teddy, the teacher could have led him and Sally together to the toy group; and rather than protect only Sally, later on, she could have embraced them both and perhaps asked goodhumoredly, what game they were playing or whether they were having firn. A fine opportunity to strengthen Teddy's obviously increasing adjustment to the Center was lost when the teacher inquired about his mother instead of focusing on the absence to which Teddy alluded. The next observation was made nearly a month later. Meanwhile Teddy had begun to extend his social contacts, although he was still enamoured of Sally, and he had passed through the first phase of his approach to materials. Record 4. With Wet and Dry Materials: February 25. As I entered, Teddy was one of a group of children standing in a circle. Like the others he was holding a sort of fishing rod, a pole with a magnet at the end of the string designed to attract the brightly colored tin fish directly in front of each child. Grasping his rod in the center with his left hand, and darting glances at the children each side of him, he angled. He laughed softly at his failure to "catch" and then laughed out loud as a child next to him hauled up a fish. Grasping his rod with both hands, he looked around, bent over, pushed the fish a bit, straightened out and resumed angling, but with no success. Next he began to roll the rod between his hands to wind the cord around it as he saw Sally and the others doing. He was partially successful when the teacher came to proffer help. Nodding up and down, Teddy asked her to "roll up my line," while he watched Sally—who had succeeded in winding h e r s up—bring it over to the teacher. He stayed at the table to watch the teacher roll the line carefully on his rod. Then he ran to where Sally was opening a jar of yellow paint, laughed when it spilt, and "mushed it around" the table with his hand. When the teacher came over to wipe it up he walked over to some children who were pushing trains around on the floor and got down on his knees to help push another child's trains. The other
TEDDY
9
child left as the trains went under a table, and Teddy crept under to retrieve them, backed out from under the table, and sat on the floor to separate and put them together again. When another child came along pushing trains he got to his knees to push his alongside, but rose soon to go to a child about three feet away whom he had spied taking some brightly colored tin cans from a shelf. He took a blue and yellow tin with his right hand and reached for another with his left. Another child grasped this but gave it to Teddy. One of the teachers came to place the cans back, saying meanwhile, "You know we are not to take these off the shelves." Teddy returned to the table where the paint had been spilt, then to the trains he had left, dropped to his knees, pushed them around a bit, and then just sat, with one leg and one knee up in the air, watching the others. Another child abandoned some trains near Teddy and he seized a line of them in each hand, pushing them simultaneously for a few minutes. Then he walked over to watch a child playing in the doll corner and in a few minutes came back to the trains, pushed them back and forth while saying, "Bee-bee-beebee." Presently he was on all fours, creeping around the trains, trying to sit first on a single train and then on a line of them. Pausing for a second after they collapsed under him, he grasped one in each hand and put both on a nearby shelf. Next he dashed over to Sally, who had been working with clay all this time, and just sat and watched until the teacher put some clay in front of him. He looked from it to the teacher who was saying, T U have to get some water," and his eyes followed her as she went to the bathroom. Then, imitating the boy opposite him, Teddy repeatedly lifted both hands high to bring them down sharply on the clay. Teddy was rubbing his hands together when Sally leaned toward him to avoid being splashed by the other boy's water. At that point the teacher returned to pour water into Teddy's clay and, when Teddy started to massage the water into the clay, she said, "I'll show you how," and proceeded to knead clay and water together. When the teacher had left, Teddy slapped the soft mass and poked a finger into it, looking at Sally meantime. Unable to pull the whole mass off the board with both hands, he grasped the board with his left and pulled the clay free with his right, then slapped it with his left, held it in both hands, looked all around, slapped the clay again, and said to Sally, "I can't hear it." To a teacher passing by he said, ' I ' m making a hat," paused, and said,"It's a pancake now." The boy opposite said, "I'm making a boat," and in a flat, matter-of-fact tone of voice, Teddy repeated three times, "I'll smash it." Then he tore off a piece of the clay he had been holding in his hands, put down the big mass, rolled the piece between his fingers, while gazing out of the window, and leaned over to hand it to Sally. Recoiling, she said, "No," and dejectedly Teddy put it back on the large lump. He continued to finger it, stood it on end, and in a loud voice sang, "Happy Birthday to you," over and over again.
10
TEDDY Having aroused nobody's attention, he finally rubbed the candle back into the mass, tore off three small pieces, stuck them together with the palms of his hands, and again leaned over to offer this to Sally. Completely ignored by her, he resumed tearing off pieces of clay with his right hand while holding on to the f i r s t three with the other, piled them up on the table, and pounded them all back into the original mass. When Sally showed her completed work to the teacher and was asked, "Would you like to paint that?" Teddy answered, "Yes I would like to paint mine." But Sally just nodded her head. After handing his formless clay to the teacher, he relaxed back in his chair, tried to touch the recoiling Sally, and finally picked up a bit of left-over clay and pressed it to his forehead. The teacher asked •him if his were a boat and he said, "No, it's a cannon." "We'll save it and paint it," she said as she walked off. Thereupon Teddy and Sally rose simultaneously and went to wash their hands, Teddy gazing at Sally all the time.
Noteworthy in this record are: Teddy's spontaneous approach to other children—helping push their trains, pushing his alongside theirs, leaving his to join children in activity at the shelves; his desire for group attention and an increase in his self-esteem to the point of having the courage to make a definite bid, i.e., the Happy Birthday incident; and his progress to the point of being able to experiment with and manipulate clay on a less personal basis, to a s s e r t his own ideas with respect tò materials, and to insist that he has made something different from what the teacher suggests. However, he was not yet ready for anything requiring exact coordination or technical skill and it was still important to avoid inappropriate materials lest he r e g r e s s into feelings of inadequancy and tendency to rely on others. About this time enough more was learned about Teddy's history to corroborate the teachers' judgment as to what made him the sort of child he was when brought to the Center. During the f i r s t ten months of his infancy, his father was often drunk and abusive and even attacked his mother physically in the presence of the child, who was her sole comfort. She never left the child even for a single evening. When the mother and father separated, the ten-month-old baby was placed in the care of a maiden aunt in another city so that the mother could train for a job. She visited Teddy less regularly as she grew more involved in the training and it is doubtful if he1 remembered her when she took him back eighteen months later, to live with her and his maternal grandmother. Being brought to the Center six months after that was doubtless a third traumatic experience for him. It meant another loss of an important person.
TEDDY
11
With such a history, his enuresis could have expressed a longing to be again the infant before the first separation, a resentment at his mother for having again sent him away and at the center for taking him. About his toilet training it was possible only to speculate. It is not unlikely that Teddy's maleness might have embarrassed or even have been offensive to his maiden aunt, and toilet training was probably carried on with difficulty, and considerable severity. He was doubtless also prohibited f r o m running around as freely as his growing motility impulses r e quired, or to explore and experiment with his environment as he wished and needed to. Teddy's grandmother had said that he was "housebroken" when he returned from his aunt and she resented our leniency about his enuresis. Since, apparently as a result of her bribing him, his wetting did not occur as frequently at home, she blamed the Center for his backsliding. With this information the teachers were prepared for a long, slow task, with possibly many periods of regression. They continued to s t r e s s appropriate and satisfactory activities, providing him with as many messy activities as possiblë to compensate for the lack of exploratory opportunities in connection with elimination in his earlier infancy. Teddy seemed to improve steadily although slowly in several areas, especially in his relationships with other children, and, as a result of increasing freedom, in his ability to express his feelings overtly. Subtle indication of this and of the difficulty for his teachers to completely avoid a punitive attitude towards his helplessness are evident in the following record of an observation made in March. Record 5. At Rhythms. March. As I came in, the teacher was saying, "Take off your shoes; I will untie them." Teddy tried to untie his before the teacher came to do it for him. Lifting one foot and then the other he tried unsuccessfully to pull off his shoes, meanwhile looking at the children on either side of him. Catching the teacher's eye, he called, "Help me." She did help him with one shoe. With his eyes following the teacher, he pulled spasmodically at the lower lacings of the other shoe, but, making no progress, he again called, "Can't take my shoe off." He looked around at the others, again pulled weakly at the shoe, and got red in the face when he pulled harder as the teacher told him to, but he couldn't remove it. He alone remained on the floor and so the teacher picked him up, carried him to the bench, seated him next to Sally and said, "Stay here and let the ones who are ready have the first chance." Sally seemed oblivious to his side glances. He leaned slightly forward but looked past her to the others on the bench.
12
TEDDY For about three minutes, while six or seven children in a circle danced, skipped, and cavorted to the tune of a lively record, Teddy sat rocking back and forth to the time of the music, his feet dangling and a hand at each side grasping the under part of the bench. Abruptly, he threw his head back, sort of crowed out loud and then leaned over to peer into the faces of the others and especially into Sally's face. Again, rocking back and forth, shaking his head up and down, occasionally kicking both feet outward, mouth open and expression fixed, he watched the children who had finished "cavorting." When he and the remaining children on the bench were called by name, he chose to stand next to Sally, interlaced his hand with hers, then moved behind her and clasped her tightly around the waist. Reversing, she clasped his waist and together they jumped up and down. Teddy grinned delightedly as a voice came from the phonograph, and with tongue stuck out he fell into a sort of goose step, in time to the music, and walked around in a circle with the others, glancing occasionally at the children on the bench. He was always a split second behind the others in following the directions of the r e corded voice, almost as if he wished to ascertain that the others were following the instructions before he would do so. Eventually, he laughed aloud, paused in his skipping to jump up and down, with his a r m s bent and fingers stretched out starlike, his knees bending more and more until they almost met his chest. Suddenly he stood erect, one hand grasping and twisting a lock of hair. Next, both hands went to his buttocks, then stretched forward to clasp Sally's neck tightly with fingers interlocked; then he let go to lie down in response to the voice and lay twisting a lock of hair until the voice gave instructions to pedal. While all were moving their hands and feet in a bicycle motion, Sally moved over close to Teddy, whose mouth was open with tongue out. He rolled over on her and she pushed him off with both hands as the .music stopped. Together they stood up to walk to their shoes. As Sally thrust off another attempt by Teddy to put his a r m s around her from behind, the teacher called, "Everybody put your shoes on." Though he started to look around for his, he called back, "No, I won't." Then, as he shouted, "Where are mine?" he recognized them in the teacher's hand and ran to get them. As she walked away, he hesitated, a shoe in each hand, followed 10 overtake her, sputtered something inaudible, and sat down to extend f i r s t one then the other foot for her to put on his shoes. He continued sitting when she turned to help another child, and then called, "I don't want to go." Seeing Julie pick up a truck he had brought, he turned to me and called, "No, I want my car, she has my car." Whereupon she brought the truck to him and he pointed to the door and she walked out closing the door behind her. He just sat and held the truck, until the teacher came to pick him up and put him down near her chair, saying, "I will show you how to lace it." When, having laced
TEDDY
13
one of his shoes she turned to help another child, he banged both feet on the floor, yelling, "You do it." As she laced the second shoe, slowly explaining each move to him, he watched open mouthed, smiling, and then said "my car," patting it meanwhile. To Sally, standing nearby, he said, "Why don't you play with it, " but he did not offer it to her. Still clutching the car, he rose, saying, "I want to go out, " and walked through the door into the next room. When I returned to the room after being out a moment, Teddy came over and, pointing to Jim, said, "Teacher, he took my car." Jim looked up at me as I said, "He'll return it soon," and pushed the truck from the table to the floor. Crying, Teddy followed the teacher who picked it up and said, "I'll give it to you when we are outside; I'll help you with your leggings." When she was called away, Teddy looked at me for a second while twisting a wooden hammer which he had picked up, walked off to watch, for a moment, the teacher who was helping Jim with his leggings, then lifted the hammer to strike another child, missed his head, but glanced his shoulder. At the child's outcry, the teacher looked up and said, "Give me the hammer." Teddy replied, "No, I won't," while twisting his hair with his left hand and striking his own head with the hammer in his right hand. When the teacher had put the hammer on a shelf, she hugged Teddy, lifted him to her lap, and helped him with his leggings. Still twisting his hair, he whispered something about home to her. Her reply, "Will you bring it to school so we can all see i t ? " evoked his "No, the children will break it." Fully dressed, twisting the strings on his hood and putting them in his mouth, he stood watching Sally when the teacher brought him his truck. With a smile he reached out for it with both hands and then went out into the yard. Comparison of this with the f i r s t record r e v e a l s a decided change in Teddy. His r e c e p t i v e n e s s to m u s i c and his exultation in the f r e e d o m of bodily movement which he has acquired a r e unmistakably and joyously e x p r e s s e d . Confidence and genuine s e l f - a s s e r t i o n , s o m e t i m e s crowned with s u c c e s s , are c l e a r l y manifest. All to the good i s his achievement of enough s e c u r i t y and s e l f - c o n f i d e n c e to e x p r e s s his f e e l i n g s d i r e c t l y when pushed around. Julie was known a s the "gun moll" of the group but in spite of that he cried out to thwart her. But in overtly e x p r e s s ing his f e e l i n g s , he d i v e r t s his attack to s o m e other than the one originally responsible, or does to himself what he would like to do to others a s in the hammer incident. This observation has pertinence in understanding recurrent tantrums later on. This record calls into question a l s o his apparent inability to learn and to take care of himself and his m a t e r i a l s . Is it real, or just a protest against relinquishing the ministrations of the teache r s who were kind to him ? One inclines to the opinion that he did
14
TEDDY
not fully trust the teachers to give him the attention he craved and used his helplessness as a technique for compelling them to do so. How Sally became a means of enticing Teddy into new experiences, and what painting and other creative work meant to him are evidenced in an observation made three weeks later. Record 6. April 9. I came in to find Teddy seated next to Sally at a table with the others listening to a story Miss H was telling. At the end of the story, Miss C asked the children to come to another table for juice and crackers. Teddy slid down in his chair, feet extended, and echoed Sally's, "No, no, I won't," accenting his words by simultaneously slapping the table with both hands. The teacher continued setting napkins at places and ignored their unison shouting of, "Teacher is bad, I'll tell mother, teacher is bad," and after a few seconds they came over to join the others. Silently, one at a time, all put back their heads, opened their mouths to receive the oil drops she dispensed, and then took their juice and crackers. Lifting his cracker, Teddy said to Miss H, "I have a cracker." She replied, "I have one too." Turning to Sally at his side, he said, "I have a baseball bat." She just nodded and continued eating. In preparing the children for painting, Miss H outfitted first Sally and then Teddy with aprons, brushes, and paints, Sally was assigned to one side, and Teddy to the other side of the same easel. Having pulled the brush out of the paint jar, Teddy grasped it with both hands and with determined up-and-down strokes brushed the paint into the paper. After looking around to smile at Sally he r e sumed this procedure. Without a word, Sally came around to look at his and then returned to her side. After dipping his dry brush into a jar of purple paint, Teddy rubbed this color into the paper, and then made circles with a pat of paint in the middle of each, always grasping the brush in both hands. About five times he went around to look at Sally and darted back, to resume the same motions but with a different color each time. Once after Sally had complained, "Teddy bothers me," Miss H said to Teddy, "You paint on your side Teddy and let Sally paint on hers." He looked up to see Miss Κ come in, and, holding the brush, up with the paint-part toward his mouth, continued to watch her walk away. To the resulting red gash on his face he added smears by rubbing his forehead with one hand, and in turning back to his easel he upset an empty can. This brought Miss Η to look at his painting, asking, "What is it Teddy?" He replied, "A peanut, a red peanut—a cabbage." Then he dipped into some orange paint, brushed it into the paper, up and down, tongue between teeth as he smiled. Abruptly, without lifting the brush, he moved it clear across from right to upper left-hand corner, calling to Sally, "I painted paint into it." Then he slipped the brush, still held in both hands, into a jar, lifted it dripping,
TEDDY
15
made more small dabs on the paper, and going around to Sally, shouted gleefully, "I painted my name." Head back, mouth open, laughing aloud, he kicked out his feet as he walked back to his side, repeating, "I painted my name." Sing-songing this, and walking back and forth, with brush in both hands, he kept dabbing it a bit on the paper. As Miss H stopped to watch, he pointed his brush to the left-hand corner and said, "Me paint my name here." To her question, "What is it, Teddy? It's very nice," he replied, "Nothing." And when she asked, "Where is the pink peanut?" he answered, "I don't know." Then, having noticed her jaws moving he asked, "What are you eating?" and followed her into a corner saying, "Give it to me." Suddenly he darted back to the easel to ask Sally, "What did I make?" Laughing she replied, "A pink peanut." At that point Miss H r e turned to ask, "Are you finished, Teddy?" When he nodded and said, "Yes," she took it to put away, while at the same time asking, "Teddy, would you like to paint your snakes and w o r m s ? " He nodded, "Yes," and Miss H brought his board with dried clay pieces to set before him on the table where he had seated himself, and where Sally had meantime joined him with her board on the opposite side. Miss H had left a jar of green paint for Teddy and one of red for Sally. Teddy overturned his leaving a green m a s s on the table. When Sally received no response to her shout, "Teacher, look what Teddy done," she began to paint her pieces, and Teddy picked up one of his with right hand and daubed it with the brush in his left. Spying Miss H, he called, "I'm finished." When she replied, "Teddy, you have a worm, too, haven't you?" he looked down to pick up another piece and daubed it in desultory fashion while saying, "I made a worm." Then, as Sally said, "Me show mine to my mommy," Teddy looked around to ask, "Where Bud gone?" (Bud had been seated next to him.) Then, rubbing his brush into the board, he chanted, "I made this, this, this," and with his f r e e hand he picked up a piece of clay and threw it at Sally who dodged it. Next, he snatched a piece from his board, asking, "Did me make this?" With head bent, watching Sally from under his lashes while she picked up and painted a larger lump, he said, "This is my snow man, my wow, wow." When she added, "That you no man," he called to a teacher passing by, "I made a peanut, look at me, I'm painting my snow man." Then, as if for corroboration, but not waiting for reply, he asked Sally, "What is me painting? What is you painting?" and began to rock back and forth. Next, he held up his lump of clay to Miss H, asking, "Did I make t h i s ? " As she replied, "Sure," Teddy—paint brush abandoned on the table, his hands clenched in his lap, and still rocking—called to Sally, "You have a cow." Just then Julie came by to interject, "I have a cow, too," whereupon Teddy turned to Miss H asking, "Did I have a cow?" After she answered, "No, you can make a cow next time," he turned to ask Sally, "Is that your second cow?" She grinned and said "You
16
TEDDY have paint on your face. Halting his rocking to yell, "I will paint you, " he resumed and reached for his brush, looking at her and asking, 'What a r e you doing now?" Without waiting for an answer, he took another piece of clay, rubbed his brush vigorously in the spilled paint, applied it to the clay in short, staccato dabs and abruptly replaced the brush in the jar, clenched his hands in his lap, increased the vigor of his rocking, and watched Sally and the teacher, who was walking around. When Miss H asked Bud, who had returned, "Would you like to finish t h i s ? ' Teddy replied, "No," for him. Demanding the teacher's attention as he resumed daubing his snow man, he said, "Look at me." Sally interposed, "Me spill mine too," and Teddy added, "Me spill mine." And, when Sally announced, "Me paint my hand," Teddy, holding the brush in his left hand and still rocking, began to cover his already paint-smeared hand with more and turned to Bud, quietly messing in paint with both hands to say, "Me paint my hand, what are you doing?" Allowing no time for reply, he veered to ask the same of Sally. Then rocking away, and holding the brush in his left hand, he called three times to Miss H, "I want to go out and play piano," then changed the chant to "Me don't want to play piano—me want to go outside." As Miss H acquiesced, "We will go outside," Teddy struck the table with his brush as Sally announced, "Me painting my hand." He echoed and emulated her for a moment, put the brush down, and turned to say to Miss H, "I'm finished, I'm finished, I'm not finished yet, I'm finished." Sally added, "Me not finished," and Teddy replied, *Me not finished either," and began to hum under his breath, hands again in his lap as he rocked. Next, Bud spilt some paint and Teddy yelled three times, "Look what Bud is doing," and without halting his rocking he extended one hand to catch some of the paint Sally was spilling, and called to Miss H, "Look, I'm not painting on paper; look at my snakes." Thereupon Miss H came over to send them off to wash.
The need for a human approach, revealed in Record 2, p e r s i s t s h e r e , Intrinsically, objects and materials continue to have little meaning for Teddy, but he now accepts another child a s substitute for the teacher to draw him into activity. His determined approach to the e a s e l and the vigor of h i s wide brush s t r o k e s and movements a c r o s s the paper e x p r e s s a growth in daring and f r e e d o m to conquer space. The dab of paint in the center of large c i r c u m s c r i b e d f i g u r e s , labelled by him "peanut," might be his rating of himself in relation to the r e s t of his world. At the s a m e time h i s chant, "I painted my name," s u g g e s t s his urgent need for making visible i m p r e s s i o n on the world. Obviously, too, painting paint, not what he paints, i s the i m portant thing. He s e e m s confused when the teache*· doesn't a c cept his "Nothing" and there i s talk of cows and snow men with
TEDDY
17
regard to the lumps of clay. Although he points with pride to the clay pieces saying, "I made this, this and this and this," his feeling of achievement comes from seeing his movements m i r r o r e d on the paper and clay. It's the smearing with paints that counts, whatever be smeared or whatever the result, and, once everything in sight is smeared, he wants to go out and do something else. It is interesting to note at this point that Teddy's enuresis, and the concomitant high ammoniac aroma about him, continued unabated for a long time before it became only an occasional accident. During one period—coincident with his mother's loss of employment and continuing until her return to work - with announced deliberation, he had a bowel movement on his cot daily, giving as his reason that he enjoyed being bathed and powdered afterward. It seemed to be his way of protest against separation from his mother who was at home—protest against mother and the Center. It may also have been a repetition of his lament, "Oh, for the days of my lost infancy." Teddy's increasing self-confidence is revealed also in his demand for attention with, "Look at me," a sharp contrast to his running away after a surreptitious tug at the teacher's smock, noted in Record 2; it is revealed, too, in his persistent calling for what he wants until he gets it. He seems to know now that grown-ups can be depended upon to serve little boys. In the four months since the f i r s t record was taken, Teddy was so occupied with establishing his relationships with teachers and other children, and in snatching a primitive and elemental kind of pleasure from some of the activities, that he could develop no skill in handling materials calling for a more intellectual approach. Materials offering sensory satisfaction appealed to him, but he became helpless when drawn into activities requiring dexterity. Notwithstanding all the careful observation of Teddy's behavior and the teachers' thought and resourcefulness in attempting to make his time at the Center enjoyable, his progress zigzagged back and forth. Every now and then courage to express his wants would - e g r e s s to mute acquiescence with others' suggestions. Some reasons for this a r e revealed in the following record. Principally noteworthy a r e the contrasts between Teddy when engaged in something which holds no intrinsic appeal and Teddy when occupied with something satisfying and congruent with his state of development.
18
TEDDY
Record 7. April 23. When I a r r i v e d , M i s s C finished changing Teddy who had wet himself during the juice period, and seated him next to Sally at a table on which she placed a puzzle for each child. When she asked, "What is it, Teddy?" he replied, "A ginger boy." And a s he struggled to fit l a r g e pieces of ginger boy together he answered, "Brown," and "Pink," to her questions about c o l o r s . Then he alt e r n a t e d between watching Sally and making futile and unenthusiastic e f f o r t s to fit curved pieces into square a r e a s in his own puzzle. When she had but one piece left to fit into h e r s , Teddy asked, "Where does that belong?" In reply she put it into her mouth, but when Teddy pulled at her a r m , she put the piece into place. Then he seized a curved piece of his puzzle and with it rubbed lines into the puzzle block and table, and Miss C said, "Turn it around." Without halting, he queried, "Turn what a r o u n d ? " and added, "Me can't do this." Thereupon Sally, saying, "I finished" leaned over to pick up Teddy's piece and slip it expertly into place, and Teddy, laughing and jumping up and down, cried, "I'm all finished." M i s s C switched the puzzles, helped Teddy take his a p a r t and urged him to s t a r t by saying, "Where does this belong? Why don't you t r y it now?" Fitting action into words, she continued, "Look, t r y it in each place to see if it f i t s . " Fascinated by her dexterity, he just stood, twisting his hair, knee on chair, and mouth open, as she did some of it for him. After turning to Sally and calling, "I'm all finished," he picked up one of the pieces left. He was not really concentrating, because he continued to dart glances toward Miss C and toward Sally, but was trying awfully hard to fit this into place, when he cried in exasperation, "I can't put it in, it won't go in." As Sally walked away, Teddy became panicky and shouted, "I can't finish it," about six times before Sally turned around. As Miss C helped him fit the last pieces together, he triumphed, "I finish, I finish." When Miss C gave him a rod with blocks on it, he turned each one on the rod, saying, "Me get these on, me can take these off," until he noticed Miss C with a pile of paper fishes. "Where did you get those f i s h e s ? " he cried. When she replied, "I found them in my locker," he asked, "What l o c k e r ? " Receiving no reply, he took the blocks off, then, holding the rod in his left hand, he turned the c i r c u l a r clock in his right, put f i r s t one, then the other blocks on it, saying, "I can't get them on, and a f t e r a pause, "How does this c o m e ? " Then he turned to Sally who was equally unsuccessful. Miss C, turning the rod upside down, showed them how to wiggle blocks off, while Teddy chanted, "Down, down, down, I got it down." Next Miss C brought a toy shoe to the table and said, "Teddy, would you like to lace the s h o e ? " Seating himself expectantly, Teddy said, "No." She countered, "You will see, i t ' s lots of fun." Rocking back and forth a little, then moving the chair and himself closer to the table, he picked up the shoe with both hands.
TEDDY
19
pushed the chair back, and walked off. He a t t r a c t e d nobody's a t tention and went back to place the shoe on the table and stood looking at it. "Lace it like your own shoe," said M i s s C a s she put the lace through one eyelet while Teddy put the other end through the opposite eyelet, then through four on one side, then c r i s s c r o s s e d haphazardly through others. He asked, "Shall I tie i t ? " Answering affirmatively, Miss C helped him do so and Teddy said, "Now I want to play with the fish." En route to the bathroom with Sally and M i s s C, he was saying, " L e t ' s go to the bathroom and make s o a p bubbles." "Aproned" by M i s s C, they watched her fill basins. To Teddy's request, "I want to blow bubbles, I have two s o a p s , " Sally countered, "Me have blue apron." Teddy added, "Me have red apron and two pieces of soap. I give you some soap," meanwhile rubbing soap between his hands. To no one in particular, he continued, "The f i s h e s can't go in there, my hands a r e clean, me can make bubbles like you, me have to blow, blow, " and, a s he blew on the water, Sally spit into it. Smiling, he stamped his foot, "Don't spit, t h a t ' s dirty—me got some soap." At this point Miss C returned to hand each a long, plastic reed pipe. Eagerly, they set the pipes in the water, and blew with much noise but made few bubbles. Sally paused to say, "Me make no bubbles," and Teddy echoed, "No bubbles." M i s s C had them add m o r e soap to the water and they r e s u m e d blowing vigorously; Teddy frequently glanced over his pipe a t Sally and shifted f r o m one foot to another. When Miss C asked, "Do you want to go to the t o i l e t ? " Teddy, shook his head and said, "No," but he went. Returning on a run, he leaned laughingly toward Sally saying, "Me blowing bubbles," and bent over the basin to concentrate on blowing f o r a minute. Coughing, he removed the pipe, looked at it, put it back to blow again, meanwhile glancing at Sally a s before. Looking up, Sally saw me.and asked, "Who's t h a t ? " Teddy echoed and both stopped, pipes in hand, then swished them in the water until Teddy's slipped to the bottom. Grasping the basin with both hands, he f r e e d his right hand to r e t r i e v e the pipe, then, grasping the pipe in both hands, leaned over to blow while saying to Sally, " L e t ' s blow." He followed suit when she put her pipe on the shelf and took it off again, and then a f t e r shouting, "Look what me done," he blew through the pipe at her and then into the water. Giggling at each other they continued blowing and splashing water, until Teddy shouted, "This won't go for me." He looked at me for a moment and tried again until Sally said, "Teddy's won't go; mine won't go." Miss C took Teddy's pipe away and when she came to hand it back, said, 'If you wouldn't bite so hard, it would not close up." Muttering to Sally, "Me have two s o a p s . " he tried blowing again but soon, shaking his head f r o m side to side, said, "Mine won't go." In reply to Miss C ' s queries, Sally said, "Mine is coming f r o m the top," then, pointing to the top of her head, " I t ' s coming up to h e r e . " Teddy, imitating her, repeated, "Coming up to h e r e . " Then suddenly, with the pipe in both hands, he leaned back to blow into the
20
TEDDY air a moment and with the pipe still in his mouth, returned to blow into the water. Having made a fine froth of bubbles, he held his pipe high and four times crowed gleefully, "Look what me done." Then, with face upturned to Miss C, he added, "They won't know what we are doing when they come back," and went back to blow up a real mountain of bubbles. Lifting the pipe with his right hand, he swished it horizontally in the water, his elbows in the froth. Suddenly, lifting the pipe high in his left hand, while still swishing around with his right, he handed it to Miss C and said, "It's broken again." While she was off fixing it he swished both hands in the water with vigorous abandon. With his left hand he took the pipe from Miss C, who admonished, "Now don't bite so hard." Teddy looked over at Sally for a while, his dripping right hand held high, palm opening and closing rhythmically. When he had resumed his vigorous blowing, (holding his head close to the water), Sally said, "I want more water." He jerked his head up to say, "I want more water, too." As Miss C turned the tap on in each basin for a second, several children coming into the room from a walk cried, "I want to blow bubbles, too." Smiling, Teddy regarded each of them timidly, raised the pipe in his right hand to blow into the air, interrupted with, "Me blowing bubbles," and returned to blowing. Suddenly he tapped the pipe on the basin, looked at me and around to Sally, and again blew into the air, saying, "Mine is blowing." Shifting from one foot to the other, he r e sumed blowing in water, moving all around the basin area. Suddenly he jerked his head back, hands still in water, laughing aloud, and chanting, "Mine blows," stamped his feet, raised both hands high, and jumped up and down. Turning back to the sink, he pulled the pipe out and said, "Me drinking," as he looked to see if Sally or I were watching. Sally had just repeated twice, "Mine is like a kangaroo," when, at my suggestion, Miss C came to take the pipes. With one accord they began to splash around with both hands, until Teddy raised his right arm, turned to Miss C saying, "Me want pipe. Me want to go outside," and then looked at Sally. Miss C returned their pipes and Teddy blew for a second and said to Sally, "Mine is a girl." Sally retorted, "Mine is a donkey." Teddy added, "Mine too, dog, donkey." while putting the pipe in and out of his mouth. Then he hit the pipe hard and returned to blow in the water with no success. Again taking both pipes, Miss C asked "Did you have fun?" together they said, "Yes." Suddenly Teddy ran to lift a shovel he had spied in the corner, and, threatening to hit her on the head, pursued Sally until Miss C took the shovel from him.
Though unremittingly attentive and helpful, the teacher seemed unaware that in supplying puzzles and blocks she was confronting Teddy with tasks considerably beyond his ability and skill to manipulate and that she was thus fostering dependence on herself. Unwittingly also she was enabling him to take credit for what he did not accomplish.
TEDDY
21
The very obvious impression he could make on others with even his limited skill constituted the evident enjoyment in the water-play. On the other hand, appreciation of an impulsive child's inability to control or restrain pressure should have prompted the teacher to substitute a wooden or clay reed for the plastic one and thus the fleeting frustrations could have been avoided. Though clumsy and inept in handling puzzles and blocks, Teddy displayed considerable intelligence and dexterity when playing with miniature toys. This is evidenced in the following record of an hour's observation of his first association with a set of these toys. The full record is given because it reveals strikingly how different materials evoked contrasting behavior in Teddy, is suggestive of some of the preoccupations with which Teddy was struggling, and displays a hitherto unobserved side of his personality, corroborating further the teachers' surmises about his early cleanliness training. Records of two later sessions with toys are not given here because they produced no additional noteworthy material with regard to Teddy's experience or his family. Record 8. March 15. 1948. In a flat tone, Teddy declined the invitation to play with my toys, but he allowed me to remove his coat when I suggested that he look at them. Having remarked that the case was "hard to open," he sat on the floor beside it as soon as it was open, and, very earnestly, mouth agape, he proceeded at once with slow, smooth, precise movements to choose toys one at a time and examined each closely before setting it down. He became gradually unconscious of the world about him, and there was a rhythmic regularity in his lifting, scrutinizing, setting down, and using the toys. A blue engine was first, then a gray postman, gray soldier, and gray policeman all placed neatly in a row. He tried several times to squeeze a red swim-suited doll into a dog kennel. Unsuccessful in this, he turned to the engine and pushed it back and forth gently four times. A baby boy and girl doll were placed together on a bed. Close to the bed went a tree and under it a traffic cop. A cowboy was placed in the row of soldiers at the foot of the bed. Then he lifted the boy baby for a moment to the second bed which he had set parallel to the first, seated it carefully in a red chair, laid it in big pink crib, and covered all with a blanket. He let the brown table lie on its side. Having carefully examined the girl doll, he tried unsuccessfully to stand her and the baby boy next to the chair, held them up for brief comparison, and then set them both in crib. Next he compared the mother doll with the girl, r e turned the girl to the crib, tried to stand the mother up, and lined up all three on the floor for a moment before putting the mother
TEDDY and boy in the crib and the girl in the chair. Baby was then squeezed into the pram which he moved up and down a few times. Having transferred the mother to the bed, and encountered difficulty in putting the baby into a high chair, he discarded that and closed her into a bath. After staring at the closed bath for a few seconds he took the baby out and absent-mindedly put it on the floor. While taking out a bath and bureau, he saw a small crib with a baby attached in it. Unable to separate them, he set the crib rocking with his right forefinger. After putting another red-clad baby into the bath he blanketed the mother in her large crib. Holding one red-clad baby in his lap, he succeeded in putting the other in the carriage which he moved up and down a few times. Failing in his effort to sit the boy baby in a pink easy chair, he set both on the floor. After trying to stand the mother on another bed which he had lifted out of the case, he started to undress her but contented himself with lifting her skirt and holding the girl doll up for comparison, then placed both on the floor and blanketed them. He inspected the lavatory carefully without lifting the lid. After attaching two wooden cars to the engine, he pulled them a few inches and reached for a blue-dressed woman holding a baby. This, with a woman dressed in gray he placed at the far end of the semicircle of figures. Next a plastic baby was discarded after he had compared it with a red-clad celluloid one. He held tightly to the grandmother while reaching for a cowboy and staring hard at his lasso, and then placed both at the end of the line of figures. Then for the f i r s t time he dug around in the case to bring out with one hand, a father, mother, girl, and grandmother. All fell. Putting the father and mother into one hand he pressed them together face to face for an instant. Then he placed all four together in his right hand, and having circled them with a r m s around one another, he held them in a tight grasp while lifting a soldier with a gun in firing position. He placed the soldier a little ahead of the semicircle of figures and then spread the family in a row at the other end of the semicircle. Next he crawled around to set a fireman beside the shooting soldier, then tried to balance him on a fire engine and again set him next to the soldier. Four times he raised and lowered the ladder on the fire engine. After throwing me a quick, blank glance, he dexterously attached a coal truck to the fire engine, and two wooden cars to these and pulled the line while murmuring softly, "Choo, choo. " Having pulled them apart, he played assiduously with the fire engine for a while, then arranged another line—train engine, coal truck, wooden cars, fire engine, and a boat; he pushed the whole row, then discarded the boat and pushed the others a few inches more. Back at the case, he lifted a mangel, opened the lid, and turned the p r e s s e r . Reverting to trains, he separated them once more,
TEDDY
23
connected and pushed them around before again adding the fire engine and the boat. Suddenly he lifted the shooting soldier and exclaimed "Bang! ' and quickly lifted the mangel only to hesitate before placing it on the floor at the far end of the lead figures. Having added an ambulance to the row of vehicles, he lifted out a bottle, removed the top to put the nipple in his mouth but soon covered it again with the top. While crawling to the other side of the arrayed toys he upset the.bottle, shot me a quick, calm glance and turned back to replace the top of the bottle and set it securely on the floor, before adding a tree to the end of the line of figures. Returning to the case, he chose a white elephant which he pushed around briefly before taking out two more trees, a brown chair, a blue bench, blue play pen and two blue, plastic vessels. Glancing at me briefly, he crawled to the other side of the case to play with the two vessels there, and after diggging into case found a lid to fit one vessel. Playing a little more slowly, he dug a red table out of a cardboard box on a low shelf behind him, and with dexterity, inserted its wire supports into the appropriate niches. With one hand he lifted and then carefully inspected a pink lady, and with the other he picked up a hare's foot which he shook close to his ear. Having placed the pink lady behind the trees, he tried to steady the cowboy behind her by twisting his lasso around the pointed gun of the soldier. He was fascinated to see the soldier dangle and fall and then he used the lasso to swing the soldier around so that he would strike the pink lady. Then he disconnected the cowboy to make him jump on the pink lady, grasped the two in one hand and with the other hand dug the soldier's pointed gun into the cowboy's back. Next with both hands he circled the three figures with the fireman, clasped them tightly their faces together, released them, and clasped them tightly several times before dropping them into his lap and looking up to smile faintly at me. Having returned the pink lady and the cowboy to the case, he took the fireman in one hand and the soldier with the gun in the other, held them face to face, and knocked the hose and gun against each other a few times, and then held the woman with the baby in her a r m s in front of the fireman. When all three fell from his hands he returned them to the case. After holding the gray-clad soldier with his head downward for a few seconds he returned him to the case, scratched his ear thoughtfully, took the soldier and the woman with the baby out again and then dropped them back. Distracted for the first time by a child passing by, he looked up, lifted out an airplane, twisted it around in the air while making a soft engine noise, scrutinized it, and bent the wings. Suddenly he looked at me to announce, "I've finished." With a slow determination he proceeded to put all the toys back into the case, one at a time, examining and fondling them, giving each a lingering farewell look, and grouping the lot in a most orderly fashion. Then he crawled to the opening in the screens, picked up a small stuffed
24
TEDDY animal which he had brought with him, and walked off a way before returning to show it and a small pink celluloid doll to me as I was fastening the case. In answer to my query, he said the doll's name was "Jack" and the stuffed animal was "Jull." When I asked'had he enjoyed playing with my toys, he answered, "Yes. Can I go now?"
Especially worthy of note is Teddy's undivided attention span of almost an hour. He became immediately and completely abso sorbed, never once rising f r o m a seated or kneeling position and moving around very little, and oblivious to all sounds and movement about him. He was quiet, serious—almost conscientious— in his careful examination and in his smooth, dexterous (and ambidexterous) handling of all the toys and in the relatively skillful manipulation of small gadgets. There was little effort to coordinate the toys into any interrelated pattern, except for the family grouping, the lining up of lead figures, and the attaching together of the vehicles. The only breaks through his generally unrevealing facial and bodily expression were the forceful, almost desperate movements in clutching tightly together the family group and, later, the woman, cowboy, and soldier, and his verbalizations when concentrating on the more aggressive toys (trains, soldier with a gun, and airplane). A certain compulsiveness was revealed in the manner in which he packed the toys away, without having been asked to do so. This almost pernickety method (for a four-year-old) in replacing the toys, and the caution with which he hanaled the bottle, corroborate some s u r m i s e s about his very early training. Suggestive of this training also are the handling of the little girl doll f i r s t instead of the boy as a part of the family and the later comparison of girl and boy dolls. This may simply reflect his own initial uncertainty about his sex. His early training is unlikely to have offered any opportunity for making anatomical comparisons and questions he might have asked would certainly have been discouraged if not completely evaded. While his f i r s t choice of companion at the Center was a girl, one important gain f r o m his coming to the Center was his observation of other boys, his recognition of himself as one, and his gradual conviction about this as evidenced by his playing with the boys and his choice of boy roles in dramatic games, and by the aggressive behavior characteristic of little boys in our culture. Teddy's special tenderness with baby dolls may m i r r o r the way he was treated before his first parting from his mother and the way in which he would like to be treated. His concentration on the baby dolls suggests a preference for identifying himself with these rather than with the boy dolls also available in the
TEDDY
25
case. Significant also is the repeated juxtaposition of the baby (himself) with the family figure (first the little girl, then the mother when he found her). Putting baby and mother together, separating them, and then blotting the mother out entirely with the blanket, closely parallel his own experience. His handling of family dolls seems to express a wish to keep them together. Inclusion of the cowboy, soldier, and fireman in the final family circle suggests that all these represent himself. They a r e typical of aspirations of all little boys and, according to Teddy's mother, he was especially interested in f i r e s and firemen. It is interesting to note at this point that in one of two later sessions with toys, the only dramatic material was very brief play with firemen and a fire truck. In this, he placed two f i r e men on a truck, wriggled the truck around to a wall, slid the f i r e men along the wall, banged one of them with the hatchet, and then returned both to the truck. Having repeated this performance several times, he announced that he was finished. No surmise is ventured regarding this fascination for firemen and vehicles as he did not play out the firemen in any other form of his group activities. During the summer months, which intervened shortly after Teddy's f i r s t session with toys, he seemed to have consolidated his gains. Reading the record of the f i r s t observation made after his return in the fall, one would hardly recognize the Teddy of the previous January. Beginnings of leadership a r e evidenced in this record and further development is manifest in the second. Record 9. October 21. As I came in Teddy was joining a parade of four others walking on and over a row of outdoor blocks. Holding his a r m s out for balance, and slipping but once, he moved to the end of the row and high-stepped back to the beginning about four times, each time with increasing sure-footedness. Then he joined Jake to sit with him at the end of the row and later to go with him to the workbench. Saying, "I want to do woodwork too," he took a piece of wood from the box under the table and placed it in front of him, while leaning sidewise to watch Miss C fix wood in the vise for Frank. When Frank started to use the saw, Teddy said to Miss C, "I took my car home, could I ? " While Miss C was telling Frank she would saw for him if he got tired, Teddy was arranging an arched piece of wood in different ways on top of a two-by-four, muttering, "And then, and then..." He stopped, to watch Miss C finish Frank's sawing before extracting his wood from the vise, and said, "Now I wanna do it." Having replaced the wood in the vise, Miss C began to help Teddy saw, and desisted when he said, "Let me do it." The saw bent, Miss C proffered a little more help until Teddy could work in short straight strokes. Soon he removed the saw and, after struggling to reinsert it, resumed working in short strokes, all the
TEDDY time unaware that his overalls had been slipping and had been pulled up and fastened by Miss C. Obviously seeking help, he repeated twice, "I'm tired. You know what? I wanna make an airplane." He paused in his sawing and took another few strokes through to about the center of the piece. Then Miss C all but finished the job, gave the saw to Teddy who resumed, his feet spread apart in a relaxed stance, paused to watch Matthew being reprimanded by Miss C, sawed a little more and took the saw out when within a fraction of an inch of completion. After looking around the room, he replaced the saw to complete the job and said, "Look I sawed all the way off. That's why I'm a big boy. See. I wasn't tired. Frank was tired." Holding his piece of wood after Miss C had smoothed it off, he said "I wanna make an airplane," while alternately watching Miss C help Matthew and Frank, looking at the children at the workbench and examining his piece of wood. He remained leaning on the workbench, turning his piece of wood around in his hand after all the children had walked away, watching Frank get ready to paint and other children come over to the bench. Next he picked up a box of nails, turned it over and shook it hard, then picked a nail up from the floor to slip it into the box. Having placed his piece of wood on the bench, he shook the box with both hands, set it down, and shovelled a handful of nails together on the workbench, and again picked up his wood, while intently watching Miss C help Jake and said, "You know what? I wanna make an airplane," Impatiently he turned to watch Frank painting, turned again to look at Jake, then at the observer, tried unsuccessfully to put his wood in the vise and said to Miss C, "Can I make an airplane?" Her answer, "I'll be right with you," seemed to be a signal for him to pick up a hammer and bang his piece of wood. Bending, at Miss C's suggestion, to look for some small sticks, he noticed an interesting piece of wood on the bench, toyed with this and with another piece Miss C found for him, arranged the two a c r o s s each other, and moved them around the table saying, "Ba, ba, ba." He seemed completely detached from what Miss C was doing. Handing him the small pieces she had picked for him, Miss C said, "You show me how you want to make your airplane." When hefumbledhelplessly with several of them Miss C started to hammer a nail into two pieces arranged as a cross and gave Teddy the hammer. Completing the hammering of the nail at her suggestion, he said, "Airplanes have wheels," and when Miss C asked if he wanted wheels on his he said, "Yeh." As Miss C walked away he lifted the crossed pieces and sailed them in the air, put them down, and began to hammer a big nail in a large chunk of wood. Miss C returned to start him on hammering a tail on the plane. When she cautioned Matthew not to open the box of nails, Teddy asked, "Why you're not supposed to open them?" Just then Jake brought his car over and said, "It's orange." This distraction turned Teddy's interest to what other children were doing, but Miss C cut across
TEDDY
27
his distraction and his, "I want orange," to ask if he wished a propeller on his airplane. "Yes, helicopters have them," was Teddy's prompt reply as he picked up and inspected a thin piece of wood for Miss C to hammer on as propellers, while telling Miss H, "I hit it with the hammer. It's a car. It's an airplane.* At the paint table, he pushed up his sleeves, and concentrated on brushing orange paint on his plane until Miss H came in with a paper snake. Regarding it with wide open eyes, he replied, "No," when she asked, "Would you like to touch it?"—and resumed his painting. To Frank's question, "Did you make an airplane?" he answered, "Yes," and picked it up to examine it. After dabbing paint on some bare spots he called out, "Hey, finished. Eh eh eh ...," but found more unpainted spots as he lifted it. Setting it down, he knocked over the paint jar, set it right again, dipped his brush into the spilled paint, covered up more unpainted spots, again sailed the plane in the air, and turned to Miss C with, "That's orange. Finished. I'll-put it there," as he placed it on the radiator. He stood on a block the better to see it, while saying to Frank, "That's mine," and to Miss C, "Are we going to the park?* For a while he gazed at the other children, then ran off, saying, "I'm going to the bathroom." "I wash my hands," he called as he opened the faucet with his left hand, holding his right hand under it, then he splashed water madly with both hands. Dabbing water on his nose while using the dispenser as a mirror, he dispensed soap into one hand, rubbed both together, and splashed more water. After putting his hand in his mouth, he again splashed around, looked at his hands and walked to the paper toweling, pulled it all off, and pushed it into the wastebasket. Failing in his attempt to climb up the wall to get the empty roller, he walked out. Not finding his airplane on the radiator, he walked around and took a gun off the shelf, and said to Frank, "You gonna get your gun and take it outside?" Clicking the gun with the barrel held towards himself, he walked to the locker to take his clothes to Miss C and asked, "Did Frank have a red gun the other day?" Watching Miss C help Frank into his clothes, he smiled and said, "He's got one foot in." Noteworthy in the foregoing record are Teddy's initiative in choosing his activities, his eagerness to do what other boys are doing and his considerable persistence in getting the teacher to help him. All these are more plainly evident in an observation recorded one week later. Record 10. October 28. Seated cross-legged with hands pressed down on the floor, Teddy was rocking back and forth as he watched the others. With a gurgling sound he jumped up and ran to kneel beside Jim at the rocking horse. First rocking on his hands and knees, then lying down, he put a car under the horse, pulled it out and cast it aside to sit up and raise a piece of wood, while chanting, "I have a choo-choo, choo-choo." Handing the wood to Frank, he took a car and crawled along the floor with Frank.
TEDDY After putting the c a r in his locker, he and Frank ran to bang on the gate. Alone he dashed to the housekeeping corner, ran back to bang on the gate, back to bang on the locker and again to the gate. Heeding Miss C, he r a n into the bathroom and out again to sit b e side Frank at the table. Blowing saliva bubbles, he twice r a i s e d his napkin into the air and said, "This is a sailboat." He held his head back and his mouth open, even while Frank was getting his oleo drops; after receiving his own drops, he sat up and twisted his hair until interrupted by Miss C. He drank some of his juice, coughed, and sputtered, and said, *I'm a fish soldier. I'm a fish f i r e m a n . I'm gonna go into the firehouse when my mother takes me. Who's poo-poo?" Pointing at Jim he finished with, ' Y o u ' r e poo." Then, with two fingers in his mouth, pointing to all the children in turn, he repeated, ' Y o u ' r e a f i r e m a n , you're a f i r e m a n . . . " During Miss C ' s story, he finished his juice and cookie, twisting his hair intermittently, then placed the glass with the napkin on t r a y . Alternately he followed Frank on the hobbyhorse, toyed with the wood at the workbench, watched Karen standing on a table, jumped around waving his a r m s , and shouted, "Me, too," when Miss G chose those to go to the other side of the room. Screaming, he ran to lie down on the floor, jumped up to go over to the block cabinet where he just sat twisting a paper doily. Then he placed a dump t r u c k on the cabinet top, and with Mat rolled it back and forth until Mat put Teddy's truck on top of his. Teddy abandoned his attempt to r e t r i e v e his and complied with Miss C ' s request that all sit down for a movie, but said, "I don't have to s e e a movie. My m o m m y ' s gonna take me to the movies. Wah's the matter ? " Interrupting his rocking back and forth only to put paper in his mouth, he watched Miss C p r e p a r e to show the movie. With head cocked to one side, he just looked as each picture was shown while the others shouted and clapped. Successive pictures of b i r d s roused him to say, " T h e r e they a r e again, the little robins. T h e r e they a r e . " The next two bird pictures evoked yells from Teddy though the others were quiet. Then, wide-eyed, mouth a j a r , he watched more b i r d s , turned once to Mary with, "That's a bird," and scratched his e a r . To Miss C ' s question, Teddy was the f i r s t to answer correctly that t h e r e were two eggs, and quickly said three, when three were shown. Teddy also answered M i s s C's next question about the bird and worm picture with, "Take it home and give it to the babies b e cause they a r e hungry and so they'll grow big." As he sat there he pulled the sides of his mouth apart and counted, "five" birds in the next picture. When the last bird was pulled off the screen, he said, "The bird flew away." Glancing momentarily at Frank and Karen on either side of him, he crawled toward Miss C and got up on his knees to watch her r e wind the picture, and slid f u r t h e r forward to look at the machine. Back at the shelf again, he touched his truck, returned to the center
TEDDY
29
of the room shouting, ' L e t ' s catch Mary," and a s he did so, added, "I caught Mary." "Let's fight," he invited Mat and hit with wide arm m o v e m e n t s until Miss C sounded the drum. With the others he crawled and growled, and stopped—not with the drum, but at M i s s C's command. After galloping like the o t h e r s to the rhythm of the drum, he stood next to M i s s C as each child took a turn to show how he would gallop Taking his turn, he stood on his hands for s e v e r a l seconds. Subsequently, >vhile the others galloped, he stepped high, swinging his a r m s widely, with f i n g e r s outstretched, calling, "Let's play high-stepping h o r s e s , " and then clapped with the others when the drum stopped. "I wanna be a s e a l , " was his f i r s t reply to M i s s C's question, a s he threw himself prone on the floor and pulled himself forward with his a r m s .
There is a new note of self confidence and conviction in Teddy's criticism of the "movies" which, in this instance, were only a scroll accompanied by a story. His concept of a parent as a cherishing being is revealed in his immediate response to the question about the bird and the worm. And his proposal of a fight, a s well as his anticipatory suggestions during rhythms are further indication of potential leadership. How much more aggressive Teddy has grown, and how far he has progressed socially can be gleaned from the following record of an observation made a few days later. Record 11. November 1. Placing his juice g l a s s on the tray, Teddy began to twist his hair as he walked to M i s s C and put his hand on her shoulder; s h e d r e w him to her as she sent s o m e children for rhythms. With a, "Me, too," he broke into a furious run and seated himself between Frank and Mary as Mrs. G began her sheep story. At the f i r s t sound of the flute, Teddy with the others, led by Frank, c r a w l e d and "baahed" into the barn, a s c r e e n e d - o f f corner. He put the food he r e c e i v e d from Mat on the floor, continued to sit on his haunches when the others had left, and c a m e out only when Mrs. G c a l l e d to him as he stood up to look over the s c r e e n . With the r e s t he r e turned to lie down, but lifted his head and then lay down again b e f o r e M r s . G suggested that all go to water-play. He crawled like the o t h e r s into a corner and sat for a few minutes before galloping out on all fours to a row of chairs which Mrs. G cautioned him not to c l i m b . Thereupon he galloped back to the c o t s in the c o r n e r , c l i m b e d up, fell, and climbed up again. At Mrs. G's, "Let's be cowboys," he began with s m a l l prancing s t e p s , slipped, r o s e and galloped, using his a r m s too, until M r s . G called, " H o r s e s down, eating time." Lying prone, Teddy "ate" from the floor with considerable facial and mouth activity, rolled to the flute m u s i c , and laughed when he got mixed up with Frank and Jim. Then, with his hand on Frank and growling, he followed him under the cot rack, laughed briefly when Mrs. G extricated them, and sat
30
TEDDY with tongue in cheek before crawling and barking in pursuit of Frank and Mary. Echoing F r a n k ' s , "I wanna p a r a d e , " he fell into line as the music s t a r t e d , marching with s m a l l steps, relaxed, with should e r s back and stomach out, calling in rhythm when the others did, and then backed out and just stood against the r a d i a t o r . Stopped by Mat as he was about to sit down at M r s . G's request, he turned to stand at the cabinet watching the others, joined them in crawling, and got up to follow Frank, again echoing, "More P a r a d e . " When Mat c a m e in with some guns, Teddy stopped to tell Mrs. G, "I want a gun. I want a gun," and marched with thumb in mouth until the other children started to shoot over the s c r e e n . With his thumb still in his mouth, Teddy stood a s the other children went away, and said to M r s . G. Ί wanna be a cowboy," to which she replied, "We'll sing a cowboy song." Substituting a finger for the thumb in his mouth, he sat down, took his finger out of his mouth to clap with Mrs. G and the others a s she began a song. He continued to clap limply, banging up and down against the back of the c h a i r , as the other children began to m a r c h . To Mat's call. "Come on Teddy," he replied, "No, I have no gun. I'm gonna bring a Roy Roger gun and shoot it," and then reached for a gun on the chair next him. When Mary snatched it away, he jumped up and down crying, "I wanna gun, I wanna gun," and followed Mary as she pursued Frank in an unsuccessful attempt to take his gun. As they went over to sit at the table with Mrs. G. Teddy again said, "I wanna gun." but Mrs. G asked him to go wash his hands, and he ran off to do so.
Despite his many gains, there is still some concern about Teddy, as we leave him at almost six years of age. His coordination continues to be poor, but he is more spontaneous in group activities and sometimes he becomes the leader. Temper tantrums are easily precipitated by frustrations such as unexpected exclusion from a given activity or event. It is hoped that before he has to go on to the larger elementary school classes, he will become less aggressive and learn more acceptable ways of expressing his anger.
Chapter II: Bud BUD, a tiny, towheaded, vivid boy, who talked constantly and moved like quicksilver, was one of the most lovable children the teachers had ever seen, notwithstanding his many and repeated misdemeanors. His teachers described him as hyperactive, aggressive, and destructive. With the suggestion of a tic, his brows twitched up and down over exceedingly active eyes and he did everything with urgency. He was such a constant threat to other children that it was necessary to delegate one teacher to devote herself exclusively to him. He was completely unpredictable, attacked children with no provocation, and broke down their constructions; if they retaliated he became enraged, indulging in screaming, biting, and striking. He could not share toys nor endure the slightest interruption of his own activities. Too tense to sleep at nap-time, he could lie quiet only if someone talked to him. He resisted routines generally but could be persuaded with kindness to join a group. His mother—a deeply troubled person under psychiatric treatment—brought Bud to the Center when he was three years and three months old because she was unable to handle or care for him though she seemed to feel warmly toward him and to be very eager to give him a pleasanter childhood than h e r s had been in an institution. Her ten-month-old baby needed constant supervision because of convulsive episodes and developmental anomalies. We could only surmise the relationship between Bud and his father, who was partially incapacitated physically and also under psychiatric care, and who, we did learn, frequently beat Bud. Three months after Bud came to the Center, when his sister was born, he began to wet himself and became increasingly aggressive. Two staff members who recorded Bud's behavior for the project made the following observations at the outset: "One of the most vivid personalities, in a small child, I have ever seen. He is charged with super-energy and his every move is forceful. He is short, thickset, his light hair growing straight up all over his head; his sometimes brown and sometimes amber eyes have a wild, raring-to-go look—There is always some inner tension in him which he tries to relieve by vigorous action. Although he is almost rough in -his forceful, free expression at play,
32
BUD
he seems to seek affection, security, order. Even in putting away clay materials he seeks an orderly pattern. He really wants to be a joiner, but not knowing what to do with himself, he just stands by watching. He tries to include himself, but seems satisfied to stay nearby if he is not actually participating." To help the teachers evaluate Bud's resources and to give some basis for planning, detailed records of his behavior were begun during his fourth month at the Center. These throw into high relief some positive aspects not previously observed or mentioned, reveal some of his fantasy life and the anxieties which drove him, and they were used to evaluate his accessibility, his sensibility to the work about him, and the potential value of group experience for him. They made obvious the necessity for providing him with desirable experience that would deal directly with his obscure and private difficulties. Record 1. October 10, 1947. Bursting into the room, Bud dashed over to Miss C who was reading to five boys and four girls circled around her and said, "I didn't get examined. I just came from the clinic." His eyes brightened as he spotted an empty chair vacated shortly before by another teacher and, while hurrying to sit in it, he asked the obs e r v e r , "Did you save this chair for me? ' He also asked Artie, the boy beside him, "Did you save this chair for me?" so appealingly that Artie fibbed, "Sure." Sitting on the edge of the chair, hands on knees, and intensely alert, he called, "I want to touch Fuzzy Wuzzy," as Miss C announced that to be the story, and the book was passed around for each child to feel the fuzzy illustrations.
In the next story the children participated by making sounds of boats and animals at the seashore. Bud, always first and vigorous in making these sounds, shook his head to confirm his, "No, no," when Miss C asked, "Can we hear the fish?" Bud was watching a group banging blocks on the floor while constructing f i r e engines when Miss H entered and he listened attentively to her admonition about handling the blocks gently so they would be on hand for others to enjoy. When the other children moved to the reading and drawing tables, Bud remained to lift all but a few blocks and place them carefully and neatly exactly where they belonged on the shelves. Those remaining on the floor he used to construct a tunnel and three c a r s all headed in the same direction. He was asking the little girl who watched him, "Would you like to play in my tunnel?" when Karl raced over to demolish it. He pursued Karl and struck at him with a block and then returned as the little girl, lifting one of the largest blocks, asked, "Can you do t h i s ? " He r e p l i e d / Y e s , " and lifted and pitched a very large block.
BUD
33
Outwardly ignoring Karl's attempt to provoke another fight, Bud attempted to retaliate Karl's striking him with a large block, but Miss I intervened to urge him to continue being good and ignoring Karl. Thereupon he seized a hammer to strike each block in turn. He was so upset and absorbed in keeping the others from playing near his tunnel, he seemed not to hear Miss I's, "Shall we go outside now?" and began to sing "Jingle Bells" while drawing his cars through the tunnel. When nearly all the others had been helped into their coats he brought his over and leaned affectionately against the teacher as she helped him. Out-of-doors he played vigorously with the tricycle and the wagon, enjoyed posing for an imaginary picture snapped by one of the girls, and usually played with the others though he did not seek them out. Protesting against returning inside, he waited until everyone but Lorna had gone and then parked all the vehicles in an orderly row with the front wheels turned to form a brake. When Lorna failed to comply with this pattern he pushed her away and fixed the vehicles himself, and then followed the observer into the school room. Obviously Bud is alert and responsive to external stimuli and spontaneous in asserting himself and participating in group activity. He is almost wistful in his e a g e r n e s s for r e a s s u r a n c e about his importance to, and acceptance by others, and s e e m s amenable to the t e a c h e r ' s suggestions. His ability to concent r a t e and work in an integrated fashion and his compelling need for order a r e noteworthy. Though he behaves wildly when a t tacked he knows how to deflect his r a g e when his attempted r e taliation is frustrated. The following record, made a week later, is even m o r e r e vealing and caused speculation a s to what in his past history had taught him the importance of ready defense against a g g r e s sion. Record 2. October 17, 1947. While drawing, Bud heard, "All aboard, All aboard, let's go," and, clutching his drawing and can of crayons, he rushed to seat himself on the train the boys had made. When Karl hit him and pulled his hair he merely drew back with, "You hurt me." Then he left the train to balance a V which someone had made of two boards. When he returned to the fully occupied train, he was told that the train was full of coal, to which he replied, "No it isn't. The coal is at home," and just stood clutching his paper and crayon can, chanting with the others, "Clang, clang," as the train went off. When, with a, "You can't go," the motorman pushed Bud away, he retaliated so vigorously that the train collapsed and, frightened to see the motorman lying so quietly, he said defiantly, "Well, you did something to me."
34
BUD When Lila came to look for some crayons, they were all over the floor though Bud still clutched the can. Straddling the train, and looking very guilty, Bud said nothing when the others chorused, "Bud did," in answer to Miss I's, "Who brought these h e r e ? " At Miss I's, "Time to go to the toilet," all but Karl and Bud went. Unable to drag Karl, she let him be and then saw Bud. Imitating Karl he resisted briefly but finally complied and followed Miss I ' s instructions until she asked him to pull up his pants. With a double, "No," he went off to climb over and into a chair at a table where others were finishing their mid-morning nourishment. Next he crawled on and over the table and screamed, "No, No, No," when Miss I came over to pull up his pants, threw himself on the floor apparently pleased with having the group's attention. While the other children quietly watched his resumed crawling on the table, Miss C came over and he did not resist her when she said, "Let's put your clothes on." He seemed tired and droopy as she led him by the hand to join the others who were just beginning to drink their juice. Sitting on a table, swinging one leg while dreamily watching the group nearly going wild as they listened to rhythms played on the accordian and the phonograph during the next half hour, Bud made not a sound. But, in response to Mrs. G's, "I'll bet Bud would make a good horsey," he instantly flung himself on all fours and went into a noisy, strenuous sort of hop. Following his lead, all became horses heading to the far end of the room, and, as some took riders, Bud became a willing horse for Lila, moving quickly and energetically until, like the others, he collapsed from weariness. Then, imitating Miss I, who had taken Karl's hands to swing in rhythm to someone's "Rockaby Baby," Bud eagerly and clumsily grabbed a boy by the hand, asking, "You want to play rock?" Singing forcibly, "Rock, play rockabye" in a rhythm unrelated to the music, he seemed to be enjoying himself.
Again it i s c l e a r that Bud's trouble i s reaction to provocation. Obviously a direct, c o e r c i v e approach i s futile with Bud. He c o u r a g e o u s l y defends his integrity against commands a s if it w e r e n e c e s s a r y to prove that he i s not completely at the mercy of the adult. Yet, in the face of a friendly approach, his de f e n s e s c o l l a p s e . How m u s i c can absorb and fascinate him into ready cooperation with t e a c h e r s and in acceptable, zestful play with o t h e r s i s a l s o evident here, though it was suggested prev i o u s l y in his singing while pushing the trains. A brief observation made just a few days later r e v e a l s again that Bud i s not the challenger and i s relatively mild when provoked. More noteworthy, however, is the c l e a r repetition of a theme in h i s play.
BUD
35
Record 3. October 22, 1947. Coming in quietly, apparently conscious of having been washed and combed, Bud watched the boys building a fort, but let himself be led to a table with pegboard and colored pegs. Placing his celluloid car in the center of the board, he turned to smile at Lila who was seated at the table behind him and said, "I'm making a garage for my car.* When Earl interjected, "You can't make anything," Bud, bristling and extending his elbows, replied,"I can, I can." Singing, Ί can say A Β C," he started to put pegs into the board. With Earl standing by, munching a sandwich brought from home, Bud maneuvers his car to place a wall of pegs around it while saying, "We can't let the car out." Now and then he stopped to pull up his suspenders, to chew on his fingers, to watch the group at the table behind him, or to gaze out the window, while playing with his left ear. Following previous admonitions, he ignored Joey who came to watch him. To Rod's, "You're my friend," he said matterof-factly and looking directly at him, "No, I'm not." As he added "I'm Lila's friend," he and she looked at each other and smiled. And when Earl said, "Give us your board, Bud," he shielded his garage with extended a r m s . Watching Karl, Bud beamed with delight at the noise of Karl's ramming the doll buggy against the fort. As Earl left the table, Bud began to chew one of the pegs, picking his nose, frowning and saying to himself, "Look at the garage. The car can't get out."
The car in the garage—a wheeled vehicle enclosed by restraining walls—repeats the theme of the trains in the tunnel and the tricycles lined up with front wheels turned as brakes. This repetition coupled with the anxiety to protect his constructions, ruthlessly if need be, suggests some important meaning for Bud. The next record further illustrates this. Record 4. Exact date unknown. At the end of the clay period, Bud, who had been participating in dramatic play, rushed to the teacher who was removing clay materials with, "I wanta do some clay." Her explanation that it was too late and aprons had been removed evoked a pleading that he did not need an apron. At the observer's request, the teacher consented and Bud literally tore into the clay with, "I know what I'm doing, I don't need an apron." Muttering, "Monkeys go like that...squeeze him and tear a hole and stand him up," he dug his chunky fingers into the clay, and with his body pressing so fiercely that his face reddened he pounded the mass into small pieces. Rolling one piece into a ball, he said, "A snowball, ha, ha, ha! Look what I made; going to make a big snowball." Then, with increasing excitement mumbling,"Deep holes. Going into deeper one, going to put a piece of clay into it," and other disjointed words inaudible to the observer, he kept pressing his fingers into a new mass. He molded
BUD
36
long strips while glancing at the observer, and saying, "Make a long piece, a candle burning, going to have a party, don't you know that ! Two snow mans coming to the party. * More tensely he explained, "There, the funny snow man. Candle burning." He stuck a "candle" into the m a s s and pushed more holes into the clay. Then with a, "Look what I've made! I'm going to cover up the party," he did so with a thin flat piece, and then banged all together into a huge mass. Muttering,"Going to make a deep tricky hole. A train... W-ee, the choo-choo... A big train coming to town," he violently pulled pieces rolled them into long strips and connected all. Saying, "Clay it up," he rolled more long pieces more calmly. And when the teacher came to say it was time to stop, Bud replied with accompanying working of the clay, "First can I make legs on the conductor? He has a broken leg that's why it comes off, it comes off because it is broken. Must have long legs—oh, it's off...lands in a hospital." His eyes afire, he excitedly made two more long legs and said, "Look at my conductor. W-oo, look at the head." Then, pounding holes into the mass, he said, "A boogey man; he's scared, the boogey man." In lifting the water can to pour water into a clay hole, he spilt it on the block and so squashed the clay over the wet stone. Though he had completed nothing, he did not resent the teacher's coming to d r e s s him for out-of-doors. If wheeled v e h i c l e s have come to s y m b o l i z e for Bud f o r c e s of a g g r e s s i o n with which he i s struggling within and outside of hims e l f , he may be doing in his play what he cannot yet achieve in life, i . e . , coping with the a g g r e s s i o n of h i s parents and the h o s tility aroused thereby in h i m s e l f . This explanation i s suggested for the anxiety with which he protects h i s s i m p l e s t r u c t u r e s and h i s s a t i s f a c t i o n in contemplating them. The next brief observation r e v e a l s more about his attempt at self control and conformity, and includes other illuminating dramatic play. Record 5. Date not noted. As Bud was hitting Don for spilling his juice, Joey ran to help a teacher, who had been away because of illness, open the door leading to the yard. Bud, watching Joey, said to Miss C, "We will break the door down." "Who done that?" Bud said to Joey who was trying to hide his guilt at spilling his juice. Dramatic Play. Joey: "Where is the baby? I must fix him up. He is ill. I have to bring him to the hospital." Bud: "No you could leave the baby until the police come. I will
BUD
Joey Bud:
37
call again." (Meanwhile Joey swept and then threw the broom away.) (at the telephone): "Hello I Is your baby sick? I will come up up." "No...there isn't any telephone."
Identification with the teacher in punishing the child for s p i l l ing juice e x p r e s s e s Bud's d e s i r e , notwithstanding his inability, to conform to the socialization d e m a n d s of h i s environment. Obviously, too, a baby i s undesirable to him and i s best d i s p o s e d cf through a policeman. In the following observation there i s further indication of the basis of his hostility towards other children and of his use of the train a s a symbol of power. Record 6. November 14. 1947. While the others were still getting their wraps for a trip, Bud swung the door open and shut, and cowed into silence the five children who gathered round him by poking each one of them and saying, "I'll shoot you all dead. Bang, bang, bang." When, in spite of his energetic blowing he failed to start a new balloon which he fished out of his pocket, he said, Ί got another at home." To Lila's, "Why not bring it h e r e ? " he replied, "Because I don't feel like it," and started to blow again, interrupting to say to his audience, "You can't blow the balloon that big." Answering, "Yeah," to the teacher's, "Bud, is this your h a t ? " he went to hang it up when Arlene pulled his balloon away. He kicked and bit her until, screaming, she ran off to an adult. Rejoining the group at the door he said to one of the boys, "What does your mother call you? Funny face!" Seating himself in one of the empty lockers and clutching his balloon, he said, "No one can play with this. It's mine." Then stretching his balloon, he added, "Look at my pretty balloon," a s some one jeered, "You don't got no paper books at home." Then, saying, "I want to put my balloon in my locker," he hurried to do so and, thrusting his hands into his pockets, returned to the group. As the children lined up with partners, Bud joined the three with the teacher in the middle row and walked along singing. Everyone stopped at the favorite corner music store to admire and try to recognize the various record albums on display. Bud, the last to leave the window, sang out, "Green light goes," as they crossed the street while Lila asked if they might buy records some day. "There's the fixit man," they chanted in passing men grouped around a manhole. Singing, "Watch the man, watch the man," Bud lingered but followed unprotestingly when called. In the park, humming happily, Bud scuffed and shuffled along through the leaves with the others, and watched intently a s everyone crowded around and echoed Rod's, "I have an electric train." When Rod added, "My daddy bought me an electric train," Bud said, "Me too. My mamma's going to buy me an electric t r a i n . r
38
BUD While the others followed Ivan to admire some special leaves, Bud lagged, still singing, "Watch the man," then flung himself prone to peer through a ground grating. At the teacher's call, he rose and brushed himself, saying, "My new clothes," and joined the others. He reached the fountain first and said, "No water." In the lead as they headed toward the swings, Bud said, "I want to stand up in the swing," but he wriggled into the seat; crowing and singing ecstatically, he continued swinging until every one else had left. Then he joined two girls at the slide, prodded them with a twig, and, while sliding, sang, "I'm a choo-choo." Unheeded by the others, still swinging his twig and chanting, "I'm a choo-choo." Bud was again the last to arrive at the wading pond where all the others, led by Lila, swarmed to climb on the railing and the low wall. At Lila's call he watched her play with a tennis ball but said, "I'm a doctor," and he fussed over Lila as she obligingly lay down for a few minutes pretending illness. As she dashed back to the middle of the pond calling, "Watch me Bud," he replied, "I'll let you play ball, Lila." Together they pitched and caught, until he walked off to watch a park attendant sweep up leaves in the pond. When the attendant ignored his questions, "Where's your truck? Don't you have a truck?" he left to hitch himself on to the tail end of a choo-choo formed by children lined up with hands on one another's shoulders. But pulled backward so violently that he lost the line. When the teacher called that he was a choo-choo who ran over her he grinned with delight. Back at the pond again, his query about water was brushed off by the attendant with, "Of this whole big park to play in, do you have to choose the spot I'm working in? Go play over there." So he went to pull at Ivan's belt singing, "Here's a choo-choo train," and, pointing to six others lined up and running in another direction, said, "It is supposed to go that way." Chanting quite a tale about bridges and tunnels, they ran along as a train until Ivan's button snapped off breaking the harness. While others drifted back into the playground, Bud choo-chood alone, fitting his movements to his soliloquy, "This choo-choo is going to run over Hod when it goes back to the nursery. This choo-choo is going over the big river[etc.]. This choo-choo is going to run over...and then he won't be able to get up. "
As is commonly found in f i r s t children "dethroned" by younger siblings and for whom nothing is safe from annexation, Bud's boasting and aggression are a continuous effort" to r e a s s e r t lost status which never can be his again, expressed in a desire to eliminate what s t i r s his uncertainty and in identifying himself with some symbol of power or aggression. If the train i s Bud and Bud i s the train, then ability to control and surround the train with impenetrable walls and to set its course, is, in a sense, assurance that he can control and channel his own sometimes
BUD
39
uncontrollable and explosive angry feelings. The alternating preoccupation with fantasy and contact with reality—what the train is going to do and what it is doing -suggests a struggle between burdensome internal anxiety and adaptation to the demands of social realities. It seemed as though he could be safe in a world presenting a constant threat-potential only by repeated proofs of strength and superiority. During the period covered by the foregoing records, Bud's graphic art products were comparatively few although teachers considered him free in the use of media which were available for him. While his teachers regarded these media as restrictive rather than a means of release, Bud's paintings reveal some not otherwise perceptible aspects of his emotional functionings. In September, shortly after the birth of his baby sister Bud concentrated his paintings almost exclusively on the lower center, small areas of paper. His broad strokes, with sparse use of paint, showed considerable control. Two experienced consultants agreed that his circular forms enclosing a vertical mass of color—varying from pink through green to muddy overlays of pink then green and yellow—revealed inhibition, r e straint. marked insecurity, and inner tension with feelings of rejection and anxiety. By October, Bud's spatial usage had widened horizontally. The consultant suggested that his use of brown over yellow was depressing and concealed inner feelings, and that his slashing horizontal strokes over separated circular forms indicated strongly defensive outward behavior. Through November Bud continued with tense, wide and slashing horizontal strokes superimposed on closed circular patterns—more minute and scattered, suggestive of diffuse anxiety—but he used more colors. Horizontal features persisted through December, but gradually a use of pastels and a freer and wider movement indicated a better adjustment. His crayon drawings in general followed the same course, from restrained lines in September to strong, live, blue, hardpressed lines on the whole sheet later on. His subjects in both media varied widely, from swing to horse to fire engine to hospital (a tall building), to bogey man to coat hanger. His depressive and restricting "hospital" painting is especially worthy of note because it reflected the fact that Bud spent a good deal of time in various hospitals because his mother could not care for him when he was ill. Other observations of Bud showed that he regarded hospitals as suitable places to put people one did not like.
40
BUD
Brief glimpses of Bud's family life, by his teachers, revealed that his father's beatings and his mother's threats of even more terrifying punishments whenever he expressed his anger towards the younger children at home, were the sources of Bud's difficulties. If he were to adjust himself to effective social living, his group experience must provide him with div e r s e outlets for hostile feelings and convince him that the world is friendly and that adults can be depended on for help and affection. The plan called for soft-pedaling of the necessary "No's" and "Dont's," lessening p r e s s u r e for conformity, and supplying adequate and suitable materials to divert his anger at and consequent punishment of playmates. Unfortunately inadequacy of materials made protection of Bud's rights not always feasible and imposed demands for sharing to which he could not yet r e spond. Clay became especially adaptable for Bud's direct and obscure expressions and the theme of punishing a male figure r e c u r s repeatedly and ever more directly and boldly. A brief illustration follows. Record 7. No date. Manipulating clay into a snow man, Bud said, "He can't fall. See the big snow man. It is a big snow man. He has a hat on because i t ' s cold." Joey interjected, "You see this big snow man? He has a hat on 'cause it is cold." Then Earl added, "!t's going to fall." Bud called, "I want a stick. Could I have a stick? I want to use it. I got to use it. " He punched holes in the snow man and said to Earl, "Throw that one out."
All of the teachers cooperated in manifesting their pleasure at seeing Bud again and expressed their regrets at his recent absence. The teacher assigned to him concentrated on every means of winning his confidence and friendship, even taking him home with her for one night. That overnight visit marked a turning point in Bud's behavior at the Center—a dramatic calming down to the point where he even took an occasional nap during r e s t period. But from his home there were continued complaints of his depredations against the babies and jeering at his mother. How quickly his latent lack of ease and security came to the surface if the teacher paid marked attention to another or was not within his orbit is illustrated by another brief record. Record 8. March 16, 1948. While telling the story of Snow White, the teacher was cuddling Karl. When other distractions failed, Bud listened for a while, indifferently, chewing a shoelace, finger in mouth, even masturbating. Then he ran to snatch a toy from one child and when returning
BUD
41
kicked another saying, 'Get out of my way." Next he ran to the window, kicking Jane on his way, to get candy from a mother who was thrusting some into her child. Then he joined Earl who was playing with some trains and soon afterward left to dig some toys out of a carriage and place them on a shelf. Finally he returned to listen to the end of the story and joined the others who were going to the bathroom at the teacher's request. Difficulties recurred, but on the whole Bud played with m o r e integration, longer periods of concentration, and better adaptation to s o c i a l demands. In dramatic and in other play he s e e m e d to want to play mamma and baby simultaneously. And his inc r e a s i n g ability to give vent to hostile f e e l i n g s through m a t e r i a l s was encouraging for future development. Dramatic amplification of Bud's p r o b l e m s and considerable information about the s y m b o l i s m of s p e c i f i c objects for him a r e given in the following record of a s e s s i o n with miniature life toys. 1 It i s reproduced completely b e c a u s e it i s s o rich in c l u e s to his fantasy life and h i s emotional state. Especially noteworthy are the objects and the order in which Bud s e l e c t s them, the sequence of acts of his drama, and points of break in his play or attention. Record 9. April, 1948. "Why is this s t a y ? " Bud asked as he twisted the red baby doll's a r m and found a seat on the floor for her. Unable to bend the other red doll, he threw it back with, "Betcha this can't bend." Next he took out a horse, capped a bottle with a nipple and finding a house, put the baby in it saying, "Ohi a dog house." Again unsuccessful in bending the other doll, he placed a large and a small crib on the floor, and singing "Rock-a-bye," he placed the flexible doll in the crib with a guttural, "The baby fell asleep. Ha ha," while urinating on floor. Undisturbed by the observer's question, "Do you want to go to the bathroom? You're wetting the floor," he responds shyly, "The baby pee'd in my pants." Lifting the red boy doll into the play pen, he said, "That baby sleeps in play pen," and fingered the beads on the pen. "That horse has got to take a bath; how do you turn on the water?" he asked as he placed the horse in the tub and fingered the knobs. The observer countered his, "What is this f o r ? " as he pointed to the wheels of the fire truck with, "What do you think it is f o r ? " Bud continued, "Is this a little fire truck? What if the wheels break? Then the wrecking car will have to come." 'For a fuller description of materials and procedures in miniature life toy sessions see the booklet New Play Experiences for Children, by R. E. Hartley, L. K. Frank, and R. M. Goldenson, Columbia University P r e s s , 1952.
42
BUD Next he took a bed and a stove, placing the stove vertically and calling it a r e f r i g e r a t o r . Then he poured water from the bottle into a cup, asking in baby talk, "No bathtub... ?" Setting the stove right he said, ' T h i s no stove." Fingering the carriage he said, "Boys don't have carriages. Why? Will they be a s i s s y ? " To this the observer replied, "No, they won't be a sissy." Placing three dolls in the carriage he said, "Ralph and Mary. That's two babies I got." Pushing the carriage into a truck he cried. "Oh! My baby is going to get run over. Oh my baby fell out. I'm running over the [flexible red mother]dolly." Placing the mother doll atop the ambulance and the ambulance on the truck he said, "Look what I can do! Look what I am making!" Toying with the soldier he placed the policeman behind him on the floor, went back to feed the horse with the nipple from the bottle saying, "Maybe he wants something to eat. You know whatone night boogey man came and I was asleep so he didn't take me away.* Smiling he inquired of the observer whether the devil was the boogey man, and was told, "No; that's a devil." After placing a couch on the floor he exclaimed on finding a knife, "Here's a knife, knife, knife; maybe you got another knife." Pushing a steamboat and imitating its sound, he asked, "Where's a boogey man?" Having run an airplane over the man doll he placed it on the couch, saying, "The man got stuck on airplane. This is a sick man." Putting the grandmother on the bed he said, "This man fell out of bed;" and placing the boy head down in the play pen he added, "And this man fell out of bed." He then placed the horse on the wall and shouted, "Look wh^t my horsie did. He jumped right up there..." Next he toyed alternately with a knife, fences, and a fireman, saying, "A fireman has something on him." He laid the fireman beside the policeman and the soldier. Then playing with a male doll, he said, "Jesus Christ is dead. Where are we going to put her?"— and as he placed it in a large crib, "Look where Jesus Christ is asleep, in the big long bed." After banging the devil doll saying, "He won't come back anymore, when the devil dies," he worked hard at bending the legs of the boy doll to fit him into the high chair and said, "Look, the baby is sitting in the high chair." He glanced up at Eli's, "What are you doing?" but seemed unaware of him as he tried f i r s t to put a piece of wire in the bathroom wall, then on the truck with, "This is going on truck, to hold the truck." Then, placing three dolls in truck,he added, "Look what I made." Pulling the high chair toward him, he placed a rabbit's foot in the bathtub, and looking up at both observers, repeated three times, "I got one at home; he swims in water." Then he set the rabbit's foot near the fence. Making a choo-choo sound he placed a train next to the fence, and then placed in succession in front of a cowboy's gun, a bathinet, radiator, cowboy, and a mailman.
BUD 43 Twirling around suddenly, he said, "What's the devil doing? Do you know they eat up people? Shoot them? They do 'cause I see them in the movies." Lifting the horse into bed, he said, "He take a big, big long bath and get out of here." When Shirley looked in on Bud, he mumbled some gibberish (which he used occasionally) as he gave the horse a drink, and, as the water spilled on him, said babyishly and disgustedly, "Some more pee—that baby always pee's on me." As the boy doll which he placed on the horse fell off, he said, "Myrtle fell off the horse, into the play pen; she fell 'cause she was afraid." He continued singing, "I'll dance at your wedding," as he placed the nipple first in the tub, then on the horse and in the play pen, and began to put more water in the tub. As he placed the ambulance near the bathinet, water splashed over and he said, "The horsle pee'd again; the horsie got to take big bath, now he got all cleaned up. Baby is going to take bath; now he is all cleaned up." With difficulty he placed the doll on the horse and as she fell into the play pen he sang, "Myrtle is my baby now. Is Jesus Christ dead?" Then he placed the ambulance on the bathtub, and put the dolls into the truck. "I'm looking for a four-leaf clover; look what I found," continued his song. As he sang he pulled out and threw back a blue plastic tray, then, successively placed a red table next a red chair and cup and two Christmas t r e e s next to the crib, pitched the sugar bowl into the tub and retrieved it, lifted it to his mouth, drew water into it, and put it on the nipple. After washing the chair with water from the tub, he drank from the cup, and commented to the observer, "He wants coffee all day. I want coffee all day." Stopping to watch the observer, and, seeing other children drinking, he threw his gun away saying, "Put this in the dog house. I am going out for orange juice." But he didn't go. Three times he drank socalled coffee from the cup, began to mumble a song about a bumble bee, and when the baby fell under the table as he placed it on chair, he pushed the chair roughly and shouted, "He fell under the table. It didn't hit him. Your baby fell down." Ashe filled the cup from the tub, and put it to his, the baby's, and then the h o r s e ' s mouth, Shirley and Ted came to the screen, and Bud said, "He pee'd and pee'd on table. Gonna wash this out and put away the table." Then picking up the basin sink with the m i r r o r , he said, "Oh—where's the closet? Where's the bottle? I got to see myself in the mirror.' Lifting the cup from the tub into the basin now on his knee, he turned on the faucets imitating the sounds of water, looked at himself in the mirror, then held it up to Shirley and Ted, saying, "Look at yourself." As Shirley asked, "Do you want to see somebody?" he gave them the mirror basin, took out the pipe-cleaner man, murmuring, "If he died—if she died." For the f i r s t time he noticed the juice brought over by the observer five minutes before, and said "Whose juice is this?" When the observer replied, "It's yours," he drank it slowly, gazing at the other children, and when the observer
44
BUD began to look at the toy dolls piled on the floor, he said, "They're dead. They are all dead, Hugh. When you're dead you go there and there you a r e . " Searching in the box once more, he chattered, as he lifted objects, "I will take everything out until I find the fireman with a big hose. Look how he stands I He's a shooter and the fireman's a shooter. Is this the sugar bowl? Where did the big one [referring to the big mother doll] go? That woman's died—all woman people's died. She stays in the rocking chair 'cause she is dead. She's got to die in the rocking chair." Then setting the dolls face down on the floor, he said, 'Bang-bang. Someone's shot down." "Look at that guy, * he added as he pointed to the lady in red, and next lifted out several male figures and an elephant. Next, placing the toilet in front of the couch, he opened it and tried to flush it as he imitated the sound, and, in a high voice, said, "See the little baby pee. He is going to die when the woman dies." Throwing over the pipe cleaner, he found an Indian, held him up to Shirley with, "Look, look the Indian," placed him near the cowboy, and holding the girl doll in front of the soldier, flung her where the other figures lay "dead* on the floor, saying, "She dies with the other dead people." Three times he repeated, "Here dead people are. Look at this man." Then he pointed to a British soldier, with, "It was—soldier that stands up.* Earl said, "It's time to go out," as the children started to return to the yard, Bud replied, "I want to stay and play with these toys," as he placed a fawn with the other animals and said, "Here's the horse." His nonsense syllable sounds, as he dropped the cowboy and felled and lifted a giraffe and an elephant, became, "Look, the wash r a g ! " when he found the cloth. Then he added, "Something to wash up the baby; the babies are going to be nice and clean if I wash them." After washing them he set them next to each other and said, "The babies are getting clean." Then, placing the cloth on the wire of the bathtub, he continued, "I'm going to put wash rag up here. F i r s t ought to dry the baby. Cover yourself. Big cover, what you think baby needs covers f o r ? That they be nice and warm or devil will come up to the house." Then he said puckishly to the observer, "You know what—my boogey man did there. He opened my door. He tried to eat me up and stayed all night and the devil too, went away. He's stayed all night. The devil won't go." As he pushed the devil round the water and amongst pots, he added, "The baby, too, is afraid of the devil." As he placed the grandmother doll on the floor, he said, "I found God." "The fire-engine," he said as he tried to hang it up with the devil next to the wash cloth, and "Know what this white thing is—wash cloth? It's getting slippery. I won't play with any toys." In about five seconds he placed a trailer part behind the truck and put the woman doll on it, and repeated three times, " C a r - c a r car. F i r e - f i r e - f i r e . I made a broken trailer; sometimes got to pull it." Putting several black chairs and one red one under the
BUD
45
table, he chanted, "Chairs is for big people. Hey—nipple fell right down." Then he continued, "Look at the car going away. The broken car - trailer - trailer - no, that's a car, where's it's wheels, broken car is going all around; one of them broke and other car is broken." These remarks were interspersed with train sounds as he tried unsuccessfully to couple the trains together and turned to observer for help. As she helped him, he added, "They are fighting already. Car broken. Fixed. Looks like engine here is broken." As he lifted it he imitated a car with, "Beep, b e e p - c a r turned around the block—beep. Here comes the car, dong-dong." He added an ambulance and imitated its sound too. Ignoring Jeff's call, he placed the fireman on the fire engine and pushed it around while saying, "Look, this fireman has got to climb up ladder." Jeff asked, "Where's all the firemen?" "Dong-dong," he replied, handling the objects. "Going around the block. Fireman jumped off his truck 'cause he's hungry. Other fireman come. Here he comes. Got some water here. Where's the fire engine? Show me all the firemen. One fireman's gone. He's dead in the army 'cause someone shot him. Here comes another [ as he took the mail carrier]. This fireman's wheels are off the truck all places. Here comes fireman with gun. He's bad. He knows what he is going to do. Here's the fireman with no hat on [as he chewed at the minister]. The train won't ride on. Then another car is tearing right up block, gong-gong-ow-ow. He dropped the pussycat. Ding-dong. Here goes the little fire truck, ding-dong." After imitating a boat whistle as he fingered the tug, he pushed the c a r s around and continued, "That fire engine didn't get caught. It won't bump in; it will have a broken wheel. The lady got shot here, the man got shot down." To Jeff's question, "Got shot?" he replied, with accompanying gestures, "I got to fly up in the city, like up there," as he put the airplane on the ceiling of the house. " The propellers are going. Way, way up in the city." Imitating plane sounds, he placed a bench on the plane and flew it into the house; he did the same with a table and couch, making much noise. He placed a piano next to a chair and knocked it over, then threw blocks around as he said, "I almost knocked down the train." After flying another two chairs down on the back of the plane, he seemed both listless and restless as he climbed to the top of the nearby radiator. To the observer's question, "Do you want to stop?" he replied, "No, I want to play with my toys all day, day." Pointing to the house, he continued, "The church, the church—the church fell down. Is this a church?" Ignoring the observer's, "No, this is a house," he continued (while making airplane sounds), "Now we go up. All the people going on the plane are dead. They are going to the hospital." He placed the clown and the girl on the fallen plane, flung the male and female pipe-cleaner figures into the corner, and pushed the cart into all the toys saying, "I am breaking up the toys." Then, commencing to put the toys away, he said, "Is this snow in
46
BUD h e r e ? I want to wait for Jack. No, not too much. I want to play with some of them. I want to play with this. Is this snow or clay?" As the observer said, "It's clay," he began to roll, twist, and bang it with his hands saying, "We're going to make snow in here. I'm going to make a snow man. You know what I'm going to make? I'm going to make snow on the clay." Rolling the clay, he put some on the ambulance, went for a doll, placed a car on the ambulance and some clay on the car, muttering, "Pee-peep. This goes on the car, and this on the car; I'm going to give this to the other car." Then, placing the car in the cart, he said, "Now the car goes away, now the other car goes," and pushed many toys out of his way. Helping put toys away he said to the observer, "I wanna wait for Jack to come. No, not too much. I wanna play with some of them." With a "Yea" he took the clay and the airplane from the observer who asked if he wished them. Finding a key on the floor, he asked, "What this? A key? What kind of key?" The observer countered, "What do you think?" Answering, "A duck key," Bud picked up the clay, squeezed it and put it down saying, "This is dirty—get an apron." To the observer's question a s to need for it, Bud answered, "Yeah-'cause this is green and it may come off and my mommie don't like that." The observer replied, "I think you'll be all right...You know, Bud, Jack will soon be here to put down the beds so perhaps we better put the toys away." Bud ignored this and continued to play with the clay, mumbling, "I wanna wait for Jack." Then he wantered out past the screen with his clay as the observer said, "Let's get the toys so he can get right to work. The clay belongs in the jar. Would you like to put it back?" Miss Κ took over as Bud continued to walk off, saying, "No, I wanna play with it."
The most significant aspects of this play session are: Bud's overpowering need to express hostility; his preoccupation with felt but unseen threats in the environment, which are related to feelings about his younger siblings; his confusions about sex distinction in speech and in reality, and about the roles of various males; and his quite antagonistic multiple identification desires. There is the theme of need to kill off adult and baby figures. At the time of this session, Bud was obviously struggling with a threatening outer world, with similarly overwhelming explosive inner impulses, and with a conflict among different possible ways of coping with them. He wanted to be the baby in order to have its privileges, to do what he pleased, to be so strong—as a h o r s e that he could defy the usual circumstances of reality, or as magically potent as a plane—able to wreck havoc from above with impunity, safe from retaliation. Miniature life toys seemed so fruitful a channel of expression for Bud, that, five months after his first session with toys, it was
BUD
47
decided to arrange for repeated opportunities to play with them in the presence of a male observer. It was thought that recurrent contact with a passive, permissive male would be salutory for Bud. Bud responded eagerly to this male observer, whom he had not met previously, when invited to leave his cycling to come in and play. This experience further clarified Bud's fears and need for acceptance, and suggested the beginning of a solution to Bud's problem of how to cope with his world. Record 10. October 12, 1948. With great interest Bud looked into a suitcase opened by the observer and he identified each item as he took it out. "A bath tub... a train...a sink....Look a real m i r r o r , isn't this a m i r r o r — a real m i r r o r ? Turn the water on, turn it off [as he plays with the spigot]. Oh, look at this. Clay. I'm going to play with clay. Help me take it out." Having lifted the clay out with the o b s e r v e r ' s help, he rolled it into a big ball, checked the jar to be sure every possible bit of clay had been removed, and threw the ball against the wall about twenty feet distant. Running vigorously and freely to retrieve it, he r e peated pitching and retrieving, looking each time to ascertain that the observer was watching. Holding the clay ball in his hand, he approached the observer asking, "How do you know my name is B u d ? " and received the reply, "Miss H told m e . " To Bud's question, "Why didn't you come b e f o r e ? " the reply was, "I wasn't able to. But I'll be coming every week now." Rolling a small bit of clay, Bud said it was a little boy and placed it in front of the fire engine saying, "The fire engine knocks the little boy down and the police c a r comes. Policeman asks, 'Fireman, did you knock this little boy down?' " Making another little boy, Bud acted out, "He's walking a c r o s s the street and the fire engine comes and knocks him down and kills him." Staying near the observer, he enthusiastically buzzed and whizzed while weaving and swaying an airplane about. Taking out a snake, he said, "The crocodile is going to eat a little boy named Bud, because my name is Bud." Without any further remarks he put the boy figure to bed. Then, opening a rubber knife, he said, "Look, a rubber knife. I'm going to kill you with a rubber knife," as he stabbed observer in the shoulder." When Bud asked, "Do we have any more a i r p l a n e s ? " the obs e r v e r , replied, " L e t ' s see if we do." Bud fished out a rabbit foot and said, "What's t h i s ? " To the observer's query, "What would that b e ? " Bud said, "I dunno." Next Bud fished out a nursing bottle, tried to pry off the nipple, and was helped by the observer as he asked, "Look it. I feel like putting milk in it. Mister, help m6 t&kc this off. I'm going to put water in. Oh, I'm going to put clay in and pretend i t ' s milk. Clay
48
BUD will be milk. I'm putting in a little bit at a time." "Look at all the milk I'm putting in," he added as he pushed clay into the bottle. Then, pointing to some small pieces oí broken window glass on the floor, Bud said, "Mister, wipe this glass away. You wouldn't want Bud to get cut by glass and have to go to the hospital, would you?" And the observer, wiping the glass away replied, "No I wouldn't," and then complied with Bud's request to "Help me put the nipple back on." Looking at the observer and holding the bottle high as though he were drinking soda, Bud sucked at the nipple. Going to the snake, Bud inquired, "Mister, do crocodiles eat people?" He answered the observer's question, "Do you think crocodiles eat people?" with, "Yes, they're bad. Like a wolf." With quick, wide arm movements, he took the cap and large nipple off the big nursing bottle and stuffed it with clay as he talked to himself and the clay, "Go in, Mr. Clay." Then he asked, "Mister, will you put the nipple on? I'll hold the bottle while you put nipple on so you won't get dirty." When the observer said, "It doesn't matter if I get dirty," Bud countered, holding up his messy hands, "You like dirty hands, don't you?" Then he bit the nipple off the small bottle, sucked on it with an embarrassed laugh and volunteered, "I've got a little sister and she can't walk. And I have a little brother and he can't walk. You know why?" The observer queried, "Why?" He answered with, "They're tiny. And I'm getting bigger and bigger and I'm going to have a big party and after that I'll be even bigger. I'll go to Miss Jackson's class and then I won't come in the morning but come in the afternoon. And when I get as big as Miss Jackson and she socks me in the eye I'll give her a bigger sock." Standing over at the case again, Bud asked, "What's the ambulance f o r ? " and the observer queried, "What do you think it is f o r ? " He went back to play with the airplane, weaving it about and making noises like one; then he let it drop saying, "And the man falls out on his back." Back at the case to pick out a stove he asked, "What's this f o r ? " When the observer asked, "What's it look like?" he replied, "Looks like for cooking because it looks like a stove." Again at the case, lifting an infant, he said, "Oh, h e r e ' s a baby, can it walk?" When the observer asked, "Do you think it can?" he replied, 'No," walked it around and placed it in a crib. Vehemently going through the case, he lifted and identified, "A car, another car, a d r e s s e r . Here's another stove. Don't tell me! Another stove." Then touching the observer's chin, he asked, "Mister, do you know what this is f o r ? It's a tow truck; it's for carrying." While rolling up small pieces of clay and putting them into it he continued, "It's dirty in the street—so I gotta put it in the car and take it away. We got a new baby. Her name is Mary. Her whole name is Mary Jane when she came from the hospital, but we just call her Mary now. One of my babies is one year old and can't walk and Mary is new, can't walk. She was born the very last.
BUD
49
We've had him a long time....I'm going to spread clay all out on the truck. You saw all the children, didn't you. You saw me and wanted me to come and play. Why don't you come to see Mary? When will you come again?" When the observer replied, "I will come every Tuesday," Bud said, "I thought you wouldn't come today—but you came. [The obs e r v e r had had to cancel his f i r s t appointment.] Why don't you come on Monday too?" To this the observer replied, "I can't come Monday." When Bud asked, "Why don't you let me take the truck home?" he explained, "The truck has to be in the suitcase for you to play with again and for the other children to play with." His face brightening, and eyes sparkling, Bud digressed, "Did you see the Mice Man? He opened the wastebasket—he waited until you weren't looking and he opened the basket. There he is now hiding from you....When do you have to go to work?" "I can stay here and play with you. We still have ten minutes," said the observer. When Bud asked, "We have to stop in ten minu t e s ? " he replied, "Yes, but that's still lots of time." Bud said, 'You know something? I stole something." Observer's reflection, "You stole something?" Again Bud, "Yes....No! I was just fooling....Why did you bring the rock-a-bye c r a d l e ? " The obs e r v e r replied, "To play with if you want to." Asking, "Are there any more boats?" Bud lifted train t r a c k s (fences) out of the case and placed these end to end on the floor while talking about what he would do with them and with the train to be put on them. Bud's question, "Why did you bring the t r a i n ? " evoked the obs e r v e r ' s response, "To play with if you want to." And when the obs e r v e r reflected Bud's question about what he got for Christmas, Bud replied, "A hurdy-gurdy. It broke on me. My baby sister broke it and my baby brother broke it too." When the observer reminded Bud that they had only four more minutes, Bud went to pick out Bambi, then the toilet, asking, "Where's the chain? Here it is, and the seat lifts. Is it a real thing?" Having taken the trains apart, Bud asked the observer, "Mister, put the train together." The observer made no immediate move but parried with, *Do you want me to help you put the train togethe r ? " Bud said, "Yes," but wrecked them several times. Bud asked, 'How long does it take to get to Tuesday again?" The observer replied, "Not very long....We have to go now." As Bud, filling the truck with clay ignored him, he walked toward the door and waited until Bud dropped the toys into the box, looked up to say, "I have to put toys away," and then ran to take the o b s e r v e r ' s hand.
The intimate connection oí the home situation with everything is evident in all that Bud does. By giving his own name to the boy in the fire engine, airplane; and snake episodes Bud corroborates our surmises about his fears. Association of crocodiles
50
BUD
and wolves with his acting of baby roles raises the question whether desire to be the baby brings fear of punishment, and yet his "growing bigger and bigger" seems to express not only hope for power, but also his acceptance of the fact that he definitely cannot replace younger siblings. He is apparently trying hard to resist continuing temptation to remain a baby and is substituting the joy of power. His preoccupation with the younger siblings as threats to his possessions and his position is clearly manifested in his questions about the toys and about the observer's choice of him. It is interesting to note that the clay's being dirty reminds him of younger siblings, an association which recurs in the next briefer toy session. Record 11. October 19, 1948. Bud's f i r s t concern was to pin the observer down definitely about coming again. In a brief play with airplane, snake, and fire engine, Bud was the aggressor—the soldier who shot down the plane and killed the pilot—and Bud discovered that even the plane was vulnerable. Next he attacked the clay jar and said, "If you don't b r e a k break—break this clay up, I'll break your house up, Mr. Clay. Come out clay " He finally threw it on the floor, rolled up small bits of it, and dropped these into the toilet as if they were feces. The o b s e r v e r ' s admonition against Bud's vigorous throwing about of clay merely spurred him to throw other toys, and he paused only to ask the observer about his next week's visit, as if he feared his behavior was alienating the observer. Reassured, he filled the milk bottle with clay and when the observer prevented him from throwing it at the window, he threw it at the wall until it broke. Characteristically, he said to the observer, "Look it broke. You shouldna told me not to throw it at the window; now the bottle is broke." Then, very excitedly he climbed like a mountain goat from desk to desk, stopped to ask observer his name, and said, with an air of possessing the observer, "Now I know your name." Next he picked up the glass fragments saying, "I'm going to break more glass," cut his finger and went outside for first-aid treatment. On returning, he climbed desks again, yelled as he threw the glass clay container against the wall, and the cradle, play pen, and ambulance over the observer's head. Finally he insisted on taking a book from one of the desks to his regular class room.
Apparently the freedom of this session was more than Bud could accept with equanimity. While he could—and did—dispose of his family in effigy in other sessions, the uneasiness resulting from breaking the baby bottle (which for Bud may have represented destruction of the baby) made further constructive play impossible. His reproaching the observer at this point indicated his reliance on adults for help in controlling his aggressions.
BUD
51
In the next s e s s i o n , being m o r e s u r e of the o b s e r v e r , Bud r e vealed h i s inner f e e l i n g s toward him (or toward whomever he represented) and even attacked him. Record 12. October 26, 1948. Bud began, with seeming control, to build a garage with blocks and said to the observer, "Train goes in here. Car goes in here, too." A clip on the table tempted him, "I can shoot with a rubber band out the gate, but if I shoot it up to the roof it won't hurt anybody." With some talk about Sunday School and God, he made brief efforts to build a church. More energy went into building a boat, and he invited the observer to ride in it and fall "splash" into the water. First with a paper snake and then with a wooden one he attacked the observer asking, "Does he bite? He is going to bite you?" Then he returned to the church—seemingly a symbol of control—and talk about God. Remarking, "The c a r s a r e trying to come out, but they can't because they are wrecked," he knocked down the blocks and invited the observer's attention to some phonograph r e cords as though he wished to avoid the emotional values charging the toys. He climbed on a table asserting, "I want to be bigger than you." After breaking the milk bottle again, he nestled into the suitcase which had held the toys and said, "Look, I'm a baby." Obviously he still toyed with the idea of replacing the baby. All his tense, extremely r e s t l e s s , and somewhat d i s o r g a n i z e d play indicated preoccupation with conflict between hostility and control. The return of Bud's favorite teacher to h i s new group just about this time produced a striking change in his behavior in the group and during his toy s e s s i o n s . With the r e a s s u r a n c e of her p r e s e n c e he s e e m e d not to need the p l e a s u r e s of infancy nor to struggle s o violently with explosive f e e l i n g s . The change w a s apparent a l s o in his approach to graphic media, a s indicated in the following brief record. Record 13. At Painting. Fall, 1948. With the quiet air Bud assumed when interested, he began to paint at the easel and continued so for about fifteen minutes, pausing occasionally to watch other children. Holding the brush in both hands and using paint sparingly, he began with gentle up-and-down, house-painter-like strokes, but worked up to a climax in vigor and in breadth of space. He showed no color preference, simply using all colors, and asked the observer to open the bottle whenever he could not do so himself. In the v e r y next toy session—the third in this s e r i e s — h e was m o r e constructive, concentrating on building and rebuilding s t r u c t u r e s to enclose trucks, c a r s , and trains. He ignored the new baby bottle and all the other baby toys and made no attempt
52
BUD
to break the new jar of clay, though he did try to circumvent the observer's prohibition about mixing the special plastic with the ordinary clay. When reminded of the prohibition he asked, "Am I being a bad boy?" and finally complied. He also accepted the closing of this session without protest. The fourth session of the series—during which he acceded to Lila's request to join him—is recorded in fair detail because of its cooperative incidents and its evidence of Bud's improved social attitude. Record 14. November 1948. Lila, Bud's playmate, grabbed the nursing bottle and, with the observer's permission, brought water in it and poured this into the crib instead of the bathtub, as Bud requested. Watching her a moment as she took and identified several objects, Bud lifted a baby to put into the tub. Ignoring Lila's remark, "Look, I found two babies' chairs," Bud placed another baby in the tub andthendumped all the toys out of the case. Saying, 'Look, I found an airplane," he whizzed and wove about with gusto while ordering Lila to pick up a car. As he grabbed the bottle to pour water into the tub, Lila pulled it away, saying, "It's my bottle....We need a bottle. Where's a towel, m i s t e r ? H e r e ' s a towel," as she pulled a piece of cloth out of the pile of toys. She exclaimed, "Oh, look, I found a knife. Let's play doctor." Bud replied, "Yeah, I'll be the nurse and you— no! You be the nurse 'cause you're a girl." Bud's eyes widened a s he teased, "Oooooh," while Lila undressed the doll. When she redressed doll Bud rushed to the toy pile and inadvertently broke the play pen with his foot. Lila said, "Oh, you broke the crib. Look, Bud broke the crib." This evoked from Bud, "It's not a crib; i t ' s a play pen." When the observer asked, "Did Bud break the c r i b ? * Bud repeated, "It's not a crib, it's a play pen." Just then Joey, Bud's favorite enemy, came to ask what was doing and Bud replied, "Leave us play alone." When the water Bud was pouring into the tub overflowed, Lila said, "Oh, look what you did," Bud replied, "I want to wash the d r e s s . Saying, "I'll wash the dress; I'm the mother and I should. Fathers don't wash d r e s s e s , " Lila messed in the water and tapped her foot in it. Bud answered, "Some fathers do. We got to dry her—and then take her tooth out." Dropping a man doll to the floor, Bud cried, "Look h e r e ' s a father. He's dead." Lila put the father doll on the bed while Bud put a baby in the crib, blanketed it tenderly, and topped the blanket with wet r a g s while singing, "Rockabye baby." Then he put the baby in the potty chair and as Lila went for more water, he threw the chair and the baby into the air, gleefully watched them fall, and slapped the wet rags in the puddle left by Lila. Returning, Lila said, "I got more water. O look, a knife," as she waved it at Bud. Next Lila sought the observer's help in putting the ladder on the fire truck and Bud asked, "Where's the firem a n ? " With a soft "Thank you" to Lila as she handed it to him,
BUD
53
Bud placed the fireman on the truck and wove it a c r o s s the floor. While Lila held the fences up to the observer, asking, "Mister, how do you fix this ? We want to make a fence, " Bud came over to shout, "Hey, I found another fireman." Lila interrupted her water-play in the bathinette to touch Bud's train, whereupon Bud put one fireman on the bed saying, "The fireman is dead," and another fireman on a second bed with, "Goodnight, said the blue fireman." Pouring water into a boat, Lila said, "Look I found a toilet," and when she accidently spilled some water on Bud's foot, he merely glanced up from the m i r r o r with which he was playing. Next, making fire-engine noises, he picked up a fireman and, as Lila put the baby in a high chair, he shouted, "Don't touch that." She asked, "Why?" and he countered, "Where is the baby f i r e m a n ? " "Which? What do you mean?" asked Lila a s she poured water from the bath into the bottle and Bud put a female figure on the bed. "Put clothes on that lady," ordered Lila. But Bud adamantly insisted, "Don't put a dress on. Don't d r e s s that lady, " and placed it between the two firemen. Next he placed a metal soldier and a metal pink lady on another bed. Discarding a water-filled truck which she had been pulling about, Lila picked up the father doll, tugged at his clothes as she said, "I want to take his things off," and then dropped the doll. Together she and Bud fetched more water. Again a soft "Thank you" was heard from Bud as Lila brought him pots and cans. After pouring water from one pot to another, Lila started to fetch more and was warned by the obs e r v e r that this had to be the last time. Insisting that he had brought more water than Lila had, Bud added, "I'm going to take water to the fireman," Lila said, "I'll give you some of mine." A vigorous "No" was Bud's reply to Lila's request for some of his water. Next Lila began to mop the floor and, seeing the knife, called, "Oh look, Bud broke the knife." When Bud denied this, Lila called, "Look, I found some more firemen for you." To Bud's eager and repeated "Gimme" she replied f i r s t , "No, I want these; they're mine," and then said, "I didn't find any, I just fooled you." Thereupon Bud threw the figures into the water can saying, "Today is swimming day; they're all going swimming." Lila consented to Bud's dropping her undressed dolls into the water can and as she watched him she said, "Watch your sleeve, Bud. It's getting wet. We have to find the baby. I found his diaper and I want to put it on." Countering the observer's statement, "We have only five more minutes," with a "Why?" Lila turned to Bud and said, "Here's a cup." His "Gimme" evoked her "No," but he picked up the cup as she dropped it and said, "Look what I found!" When the observer said, "Let's put the toys away and clean up the floor," Bud poured water into the case, then lifted the case to splash water and the swimming dolls over the floor. Because Bud refused to relinquish the case, the observer suggested they empty
54
BUD it together in bathroom, but Bud replied, "Get away from here you bastard." Lila said "Oh, Bud, you said a very bad word," and proceeded to clean the floor with her tiny mop. The janitor came over to help as the observer said, "That's all the playing time we have, Bud." While the teacher undressed Bud to get him into dry clothes he stood naked for a moment and shouted, "I'm not a shamed for nobody," in response to Lila's, "Oh, look at Bud."
It i s interesting to note that at this t i m e Bud i s m o r e tender and careful in his treatment of baby dolls, shows m o r e f e e l i n g s toward the father doll, and that he breaks out into g e n e r a l i z e d d e s t r u c t i v e n e s s only a s a reaction to the announced ending of the session. Meanwhile, there w e r e noteworthy changes in Bud's contacts outside of miniature toy s e s s i o n s : i n c r e a s e d ability to r e l a x at nap time; decline in impulsive a g g r e s s i v e n e s s toward children; g r e a t e r flexibility to cooperate in play and to play with more— particularly the better adjusted—children. Though he continued to u s e e v e r y kind of material available, h i s preference w a s for m e s s i n g with finger-paints, dough, clay, or water. Some of t h e s e changes are illustracted in the following record made the day after the above miniature toy s e s s i o n . Record 15. Bud at Blocks. Bud was moving around in joyful anticipation as he sat in the front row of children assembled for a "Little Red Riding Hood" puppet show. During the show, his eyes fixed on stage, he sat perfectly still, except for chewing his lips or smiling faintly when r e marks were addressed to the children. At intermission he moved his chair in order to look all around. When Mrs. Τ announced, "That's all for today," and then asked Bud what he'd like to do, his immediate response was "Blocks, " and he and a few others trooped to the block corner. Seated in front of one of the shelves, Bud arrayed a lot of triangular blocks in a row. Saying, "This is a ferry," he moved the entire row to the airplane Rod had built. Rod countered, "No. This is an airplane that lands in the water and c a r s can come up on it." Next, Bud drove a large black car around the room and back into the block corner and walled it around with a large number of medium-sized rectangular blocks. Repeatedly distracted by the other children, he nevertheless always returned to building the wall and fenced the car in completely. With impatient jerky movements he tore down the middle wall to get the car out when Rod asked him if he wished to put the car on Rod's boat. As Bud brought the car over with a delighted, "Oh, we can make a garage boat," Rod shouted, "This is going to be an Army boat," and commanded, "Now, Bud, go get blocks from over there." Obligingly
BUD
55
Bud went over and his whole being concentrated on running back and forth to get the right kind of blocks for Rod. Suddenly he started to jump up and down and when Mrs. Τ asked if perhaps he needed to go to the bathroom, he did so, then ran back and continued eagerly carrying out Rod's orders to the letter. Once he dropped a whole pile he had loaded and let them lay as he went for others. When Bud tried to help build, conflict of ideas caused a quick verbal fight with the result that Rod complied with Bud's instructions, but Rod continued to do the building and Bud the hauling. Watching Rod approvingly as he made the boat long and narrow, Bud shouted proudly, "Yep, that is good," and suddenly dashed over to a group of children playing games to music, stayed for a moment, and returned to Rod, to help him pick up the car and move it carefully along the boat. A shout of joy was Bud's reaction to the crashing of the whole boat as the car reached its middle. Placing one long block atop another, Bud shouted to no one in particular, "I can make an army plane," just as Mrs. Τ called for the children to put the blocks away. Bud placed the car on the shelf first, then tried briefly to pile the blocks neatly, but finally threw them in any old way. Next he raced a car through the room, interrupted a story of one of the children with an excited comment about a plane he had built, returned to the car and an unsuccessful attempt to tie the rope around it. After making a loop, he twirled the rope chanting, "That is what cowboys do," and tried to lasso the children and the furniture. When things got a little too rough, Miss G took the rope and directed him to a seat in the doll corner. Finding no space at the table, he looked for, found, and again twirled the rope; he caught a boy who escaped laughingly. Unsuccessful in his attempt to lasso the grating of a radiator, he returned to the doll corner, ripped the chimneys off and overturned the doll house, and then set it right again. Next he went to watch intently a group of children with puzzles. Though eager to play he restrained himself until he could take over a puzzle abandoned by another child. Unsuccessful in his attempt to fit pieces together, he left to pick up and again race his car wildly around the room. Noteworthy in the foregoing record are: Bud's cooperation with a teacher whose suggestions he had been resisting because he resented the possibility of her replacing his favorite; his desire to restore as well as to destroy; and the diminution of his need for order in external objects as his acceptance of controls increases. His paintings on the other hand, still reflect considerable tension, and his vigorous use of the brush is somewhat reminiscent of his need to impose patterns and to restrain objects that ordinarily defy restraint. It may be that Bud found the control
56
BUD
necessary in using graphic materials too inhibiting for the release he needed. Certainly the painting products in themselves indicate no such explicit meaning as was manifest in the sessions with miniature life toys. Records of two observations made about this time are definitely interesting. Record 16. Bud at Painting. Eagerly Bud approached the easel abandoned by Jane. Using his right hand and a brushful of red paint, he stroked carefully, while singing and wiggling. Then he inscribed a circle at the right center of the sheet, and quickly dabbed in eyes, nose, mouth, supported this head with two smaller circles and legs and feet, but no arms or hands. To a passing teacher he called his pleasure with this effort, 'Look what I did !" When she stopped to admire and asked, "Tell me about it," he replied enthusiastically, "That's a man and he's at Coney Island." Thereupon the teacher removed the sheet and Bud began promptly to make slow deliberate green paint strokes on another sheet. Again he inscribed a circle, this time on the left side. Below this circle, he made an elongated oval and with dashing, tense, downward strokes he added another curved line and legs and feet, and with another flourish made a red mouth but no eyes or nose. Putting down his brush, he yelled, "Okay, I'm finished," and described this less well done result with, "This is the Empire race track." Then he rushed off to pick up two sticks and asked another boy, "Want a sword fight?" Then he dashed back to several children who were painting crates with house paint to make a store. For a moment he used his sword as a measuring rod, and then turned to Jane nearby with, "Jane, wanta do sword fighting?" She accepted a stick, but wandered off to the teacher and asked (while dancing on her toes), "Can I paint?" When she joined the group at house painting, Bud followed and worked energetically for about ten minutes. His hands well smeared up to his wrists, he regarded the result of his efforts with delight and turned to the observer, with his eyes dancing mischievously, saying, "Lookit." When the observer remarked, "Well you are a fine house painter. I'll have to get you to paint a house for me some day," Bud replied eagerly, "Okay, will it be a little toy house for me?" He rushed off to wash without awaiting an answer. Record 17. Bud at Painting (A few weeks later). With vigor and assurance and for the first time using outward movements, Bud used a brush loaded with blue paint to inscribe a circle, but the last stroke inclined inward and downward. Next he slashed one long and two short strokes outward. Then, grabbing a brushful of red paint, he made a jagged linear pattern within the circle and added short strokes of red between two blue lines. With a final flourish he slashed two green strokes practically off the page and dashed away to other activity.
BUD
57
Here ambivalence is suggested in the combination of the enclosed form and in the enlarged spatial pattern and greater f r e e dom and scope of execution. Anxiety is expressed by the jagged tense stroking, and doing this within the circle suggests effort to control emotions. The final aggressive outward stroke belies this by his ignoring all limits - stroking right off the paper. About this time, Bud's group participated as audience in a series of puppet shows involving a family group in real life situations common to most children, such as the birth of a new sibling, unfair punishment, denial of attention by a parent because of press of duties, etc. Bud very quickly identified with the central child figure, Happy, singing his theme song incessantly between sessions. Bud was the most vociferous participant from the audience. His involvement in the fortunes of the puppets r e lated clearly to his own family. When Happy in one play asked, "Do you like the baby?" Bud replied, "My baby can't even talk, can't even walk, can't, can't..." At another time, when Toots, the mother puppet, refused to play with Happy because of the press of other duties, Bud called out sympathetically, "My mother does the same thing, Happy." And when Happy asked the audience, "Why is Mamma always so tired?" Bud's immediate shout was, "Because she's a mean mother; she feeds the baby first." His suggestions for appropriate retaliation for rejecting and unfair parents ranged from tying them down to the railroad tracks, hitting them with a ruler, to taking them to jail. He was a determined exponent of the "eye for an eye" philosophy. On one occasion he ran up to the stage to beat the father puppet who was going to be permitted a reconciliation with Happy on the basis of an apology. That seemed to Bud too cheap to make up for the hurt done a child. Another time he left the show because he could not bear to watch Toots tenderly comforting Happy. It is significant that while, in these fantasy sessions, he was voicing the most horrifying suggestions for the disposal of his family, he was becoming better able to regulate his behavior toward his teachers and classmates in real life. Bud continued to invite other children, notably one inhibited boy and a very aggressive girl whom he had previously avoided, to participate in his miniature toy sessions. Gradually he showed a more realistic approach to objects. The snake, which had been a crocodile to bite boys like Bud, became "Not real" and "could not bite." New symbols entered his play—blocks built a cop house and Bud is a cop shooting his little playmates, whom in reality he permitted himself to punish only mildly. His attitude toward the observer also began to change distinctly. He defended
58
BUD
him against the threats of other children. Continued identification with the authoritative male adult was manifested. On one occasion he placed large blocks around a hazardous manhole in the play yard "so no one will get hurt," and warned sternly, "Be careful, don't bend over too far; see where the man climbs down the ladder." Instead of killing firemen he puts them into a blockhouse. And in the use of clay there was less fantasy verbalization. Like other children he was relishing his mastery over the substance with the use of molds. The following two records make interesting comparison with earlier ones: Record 18. Bud at Clay. February, 1949. Sally, Ell, and Bud were working with clay at the same table. After flattening his clay and pressing the ginger-man mold on it, Bud shouted twice, "Teacher, look what I did!" When Miss H r e sponded, "Okay, wait a minute," he called to Eli, "Want to see what I did?" while standing on his chair and pressing hard with both hands on the mold. Having taken Sally's pot of water, he spilled some on his clay. Sally's cries brought Miss H over who told Bud to ask for water when he wants it. After removing the mold from his clay, Bud poked holes in it, then cut out a circle with a can, pushed some clay into the can, banged it out again, and put all the clay together. Eli grabbed back his own mold before Bud could use it, just as Mrs. O came over to persuade them to sit down and to put an apron on Bud. After streaking his clay with a big plastic fork and cutting c i r cles with the can, he pressed the can so hard that he had difficulty in taking it off. Twice calling to Eli to look, he made holes in the clay with the fork, used his right hand to flatten the whole, and then pushed the mold on with the fork while exclaiming, "Look I made the biggest gingerbread man in the world ! " After lifting the mold, he made holes with the fork and called, "Funny buttons." For a moment he watched Eli lift his clay, then made a circle with a can on his own clay and said, "Look what I made, a little star." Bud screamed, "No," and retrieved the fork which Eli tried to take and again pushed the mold into the clay saying, "Look, I made the biggest gingerbread in the world I" When Bud retrieved his can, Eli banged Bud's clay and when he retaliated Bud's blow to his chest by hitting Bud on the head, Bud cried, "Stop. Well, why do you stick my clay?" After they had exchanged fork for spoon they went back to clay and Bud again stepped on his chair to more firmly push the mold on the clay, and then said, "Now I can't take it off." As Eli got ready to leave, Mrs. M asked him, "Did you make a gingerbread boy?* Bud answered, *I did, I'm going to step on it and step on it, Okay?" His suggestion "Okayed" by Mrs. O., Bud got on the table, but Mrs. O intervened with, "Maybe I can help you." Together they pushed and then, with difficulty, removed the mold. After Mrs. O had made a ball at Bud's request, Bud used
BUD
59
the spoon to flatten it and then showed Mrs. O how to take the clay out of the mold. Pushing the can on top of the mold, he called to Miss H who was passing by, "Look what I did; me gingerbread boy.* Miss H asked, "All by yourself?" Answering affirmatively he brought her his clay at the easel, then returned to alternately flatten and ball his clay. Turning to Lila who was painting he asked, "Is that going to be a s t a r ? " and countered her, "Yes," with, "It doesn't look like it." To this she replied, "Who cares, I'm going to do it my own way." When Bud attempted to take a piece of paper from the easel, Lila said, "You can't have it." Miss H intervened with, "What do you want?" Walking back to his table, he answered, "A piece of paper to put my gingerbread boy." Miss H brought him the paper and adjusted his falling apron. Using the mold again, he made a new gingerbread boy, poked buttons into it with his right index finger, carried it around, came back to put it into paper, and ran to Miss H in the bathroom. Re;ord 19. At Clay. March. 1949. Joining Sylvia, Shirley, Rod, and Eli at the tables, Bud received from Miss H a big lump of dough on a paper covered with flour. Having procured an egg beater to make milk, he asked for and r e ceived from Miss H a pot of water. Putting the dough into the pot, he began the slow process of beating. He answered Rod's question, "Let's see how you're doing i t ? " with "I'm doing it good," and Shirley's, "I'm doing it good," with, "No, I do it better; I have an egg beater." He continued without interruption as Miss H put an apron on him, and stopped Sylvia and Shirley from fighting by calling, "Now, Shirley, stop biting." When Bud asked Don for a rolling pin, he was told there were only two, so he continued to turn his egg beater until Don offered him his rolling pin. Rod tried to take it but Don said, "No, it's for Bud." Having rolled it slowly for a while, he put it back into the pot, as he said to Rod, "See what I can do!" To Rod's, "I can beat you up," Bud replied, "You know who I'll call? Superman and...[something not audible]." Don interjected, "He is not real," and Bud answered, "He is made believe and Rod can't even fight; he is not even super-boy." To this Rod replied, "If I had a cape I could." Calmly they continued their respective activities until Bud called, "Teacher, I want to make a pancake like Don; I want more flour." Miss H answered that she would look to see if there were more flour and asked Bud to mop up the floor meanwhile. He procured the big mop and had begun to clean up when Miss H returned to finish the mopping herself and seated him at a clean place at Rod's right. He added the flour to the dough and tried to mix it with the egg beater. Presently Miss J came to gather up the utensils saying, "All right it's time to finish, everybody," She showed Bud how to take all the dough out of the pan. Having flopped it back on the table, he used Rod's cup to flatten it and then called to Miss H for a rolling pin. After rolling the dough slowly, he pushed the
60
BUD inverted cup over it to make a circular impression and proudly announced, ' T e a c h e r , I made a pot out of it." Shirley and Don gave Miss H their dough to cook and then left. Bud started toward the bathroom but Miss H intercepted, "No water any more; do you want me to put your dough in the icebox with the o t h e r s ? " Acquiescing, he went off to wash his hands.
Bud's acceptance of his male role by personal identification with powerful males, and by expressing kinship between himself and firemen, policemen, and "God," is further illustrated in the following record. Record 20. Miniature Toys. February, 1949. Choosing Jane to play with him, Bud removed his outer garments and brought the ladder over to climb on the shelf in the corner. While he toyed with the fire truck, Jane found a rubber knife, and he ran to get his from Miss H. Returning to find Jane stabbing the fireman, he said, "Don't kill a fireman because they're very nice." Jane followed him a s he climbed the ladder and jumped down to get the clay from the toy case. After Jane brought the ladder to him as he had requested, he sought and was disturbed not to find another ladder. As he turned back to the clay, Jane climbed the ladder and Bud laughed hilariously with her every time she fell. "An Indian, I found. I found an airplane," announced Bud in a singsong tone, and he and Jane vied with each other in throwing up the airplane. Then they climbed on the shelf and Bud threw the airplane to the floor. As Bud concentrated on removing and replacing the ladder of the fire truck, and manipulated the steering wheel, Jane climbed to the shelf and shouted, "A fire up here." Answering, "I'm coming," Bud climbed and pretended to squirt water on the radiator. With loud siren-calling they pretended to drive a truck from behind the block shelf. Jane decided, "I'm a fire girl," and Bud boasted, "I'm a f i r e man because I'm a boy." Abruptly Bud turned to his rubber knife to pry clay out of the bottle, a s he continued, "You're not a fireman, you're a f i r e - g i r l . " To this Jane replied, "That's just what I said." Back at the case, Bud played with a train, while Jane took a nursing bottle to get water; when restrained by the observer, she began to suck the nipple. Then as Bud put the fireman on the train which he was pulling out of the corner, Jane chopped the policeman with her knife. Bud objected because the policeman was alive, although the fireman were dead. When Jane next sought the ladder, Bud rushed over to get it f i r s t and then relinquished it to her; he enjoyed her repeated falling down. Then, calling, "Let me try that," he climbed on the ladder to strut on top of the shelf dividing the room, while yelling and grimacing. Having attracted no attention, he jumped down but repeated the climbing, strutting, and yelling three times, the last time falling flat on the floor as he jumped. After a moment he rose, began to wield the ladder on high with
BUD
61
both hands before placing it on the sheli. Eyeing the observer he took the bottle of clay and threatened, "I'm going to break it.* When the observer said, "Nothing should be broken when we play," Bud wheedled, "Get this clay out for me." When the observer asked, "Do you want to try f i r s t ? " Bud replied, "O.K., but give me a pencil." Bud's effort broke the pencil and he said, "Oh, look, I didn't break it. The clay broke it—it was too hard." Bud then echoed the observer's, "We have only ten more minutes" to Jane, adding "I can't get this clay out, help me." Bud rolled into a ball what clay the observer took out, but then asked the observer to take all the clay out. With the whole of it in a ball, Bud went to the bathroom with Jane and returned triumphantly telling that he had put water in the clay. Standing in the middle of the play space, he concentrated on pulling bits off the large ball, and as he threw each to the floor he shouted joyfully, "Pink!" To the observer he said, "Look, God is making it snow." As he turned to get water again, the observer informed them that the play period was over. For a moment he watched Jane putting toys back and then walked away.
Unfortunately, about this time, when the world was apparently no longer as starkly threatening for Bud as it used to be, Bud's parents planned for the temporary placement of all the children in foster homes. The threat of removal for Bud was reflected in the explosion of bombs in his crayon drawings, and falling of bombs (blocks) on planes and planes falling into water filled with crocodiles, and in the use of blocks to make long trains which, he said, were "going to Coney Island for the whole night, and you're going to miss me and never going to see me again." In toy sessions hostilities reappeared, though less violently; he began to "cage" within enclosures his usual symbols of aggression. In one of his last minature life toy sessions with the observer, he suddenly feared the turtle would bite him and when the observer put the turtle in the dog house, Bud shouted, "You want to come out but you can't I want you to stay in." Next he threw the fireman away, and drew a closed figure which he called a "lady shoe." Failing to find a girl companion he returned and attempted to destroy the dollhouse, while pretending that a fire raged in it. Train engines were having head-on collisions, and after each disaster or destruction Bud came close to the observer to ask for something or just to put a hand on his shoulder. Throughout this session he could still accept suggestions f r o m the observer. For example he turned from demolishing the dollhouse to some Wooden trains proffered by the observer. After having broken these he sought some nails to embellish the train with what he called "Headlights,"—an obvious continuation of his effort to repair what he had destroyed.
62
BUD
Bud's difficulties had very real bases in fact—lack of understanding and consistency at home, aggressive and inadequate parents—but it was clearly evident at the end of the period of observation, that individual therapy could help him achieve insights to dissipate his burden of anxiety. Obviously he could respond with affectionate appreciation to his warmly accepting teacher and to the permissive male observer as readily as he could vent rage and hostility on his aggressive parents and intrusive siblings. His experiences and learnings—both about himself and the external world—were becoming an intrinsic part of him and affecting his approach to the accidents of living. Unquestionably, Bud's development would have proceeded in a positive, healthy direction if he could have continued to experience the acceptance, warmth, and freedom for expression offered at the Center.