Great Expectations

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Cl a ssi c Li t e r a t u r e

Great Expect at ions

By Charles Dickens

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

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Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

Chapt er 1 My fat her's fam ily nam e being Pirrip, and m y Christ ian nam e Philip, m y infant t ongue could m ake of bot h nam es not hing longer or m ore explicit t han Pip. So, I called m yself Pip, and cam e t o be called Pip. I give Pirrip as m y fat her's fam ily nam e, on t he aut horit y of his t om bst one and m y sist er—Mrs. Joe Gargery, who m arried t he blacksm it h. As I never saw m y fat her or m y m ot her, and never saw any likeness of eit her of t hem ( for t heir days were long before t he days of phot ographs) , m y first fancies regarding what t hey were like, were unreasonably derived from t heir t om bst ones. The shape of t he let t ers on m y fat her's, gave m e an odd idea t hat he was a square, st out , dark m an, wit h curly black hair. From t he charact er and t urn of t he inscript ion, “ Also Georgiana Wife of t he Above,” I drew a childish conclusion t hat m y m ot her was freckled and sickly. To five lit t le st one lozenges, each about a foot and a half long, which were arranged in a neat row beside t heir grave, and were sacred t o t he m em ory of five lit t le brot hers of m ine—who gave up t rying t o get a living, exceedingly early in t hat universal st ruggle—I am indebt ed for a belief I religiously ent ert ained t hat t hey had all been born on t heir backs wit h t heir hands in t heir t rousers- pocket s, and had never t aken t hem out in t his st at e of exist ence. Ours was t he m arsh count ry, down by t he river, wit hin, as t he river wound, t went y m iles of t he sea. My first m ost vivid and broad im pression of t he ident it y of t hings, seem s t o m e 3

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

t o have been gained on a m em orable raw aft ernoon t owards evening. At such a t im e I found out for cert ain, t hat t his bleak place overgrown wit h net t les was t he churchyard; and t hat Philip Pirrip, lat e of t his parish, and also Georgiana wife of t he above, were dead and buried; and t hat Alexander, Bart holom ew, Abraham , Tobias, and Roger, infant children of t he aforesaid, were also dead and buried; and t hat t he dark flat wilderness beyond t he churchyard, int ersect ed wit h dykes and m ounds and gat es, wit h scat t ered cat t le feeding on it , was t he m arshes; and t hat t he low leaden line beyond, was t he river; and t hat t he dist ant savage lair from which t he wind was rushing, was t he sea; and t hat t he sm all bundle of shivers growing afraid of it all and beginning t o cry, was Pip. “ Hold your noise! ” cried a t errible voice, as a m an st art ed up from am ong t he graves at t he side of t he church porch. “ Keep st ill, you lit t le devil, or I 'll cut your t hroat ! ” A fearful m an, all in coarse grey, wit h a great iron on his leg. A m an wit h no hat , and wit h broken shoes, and wit h an old rag t ied round his head. A m an who had been soaked in wat er, and sm ot hered in m ud, and lam ed by st ones, and cut by flint s, and st ung by net t les, and t orn by briars; who lim ped, and shivered, and glared and growled; and whose t eet h chat t ered in his head as he seized m e by t he chin. “ O! Don't cut m y t hroat , sir,” I pleaded in t error. “ Pray don't do it , sir.” “ Tell us your nam e! ” said t he m an. “ Quick! ” “ Pip, sir.” “ Once m ore,” said t he m an, st aring at m e. “ Give it m out h! ” 4

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

“ Pip. Pip, sir.” “ Show us where you live,” said t he m an. “ Pint out t he place! ” I point ed t o where our village lay, on t he flat in- shore am ong t he alder- t rees and pollards, a m ile or m ore from t he church. The m an, aft er looking at m e for a m om ent , t urned m e upside down, and em pt ied m y pocket s. There was not hing in t hem but a piece of bread. When t he church cam e t o it self— for he was so sudden and st rong t hat he m ade it go head over heels before m e, and I saw t he st eeple under m y feet — when t he church cam e t o it self, I say, I was seat ed on a high t om bst one, t rem bling, while he at e t he bread ravenously. “ You young dog,” said t he m an, licking his lips, “ what fat cheeks you ha’ got .” I believe t hey were fat , t hough I was at t hat t im e undersized for m y years, and not st rong. “ Darn m e if I couldn't eat em ,” said t he m an, wit h a t hreat ening shake of his head, “ and if I han't half a m ind t o't ! ” I earnest ly expressed m y hope t hat he wouldn't , and held t ight er t o t he t om bst one on which he had put m e; part ly, t o keep m yself upon it ; part ly, t o keep m yself from crying. “ Now lookee here! ” said t he m an. “ Where's your m ot her?” “ There, sir! ” said I . He st art ed, m ade a short run, and st opped and looked over his shoulder. “ There, sir! ” I t im idly explained. “ Also Georgiana. That 's m y m ot her.” 5

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

“ Oh! ” said he, com ing back. “ And is t hat your fat her alonger your m ot her?” “ Yes, sir,” said I ; “ him t oo; lat e of t his parish.” “ Ha! ” he m ut t ered t hen, considering. “ Who d'ye live wit h— supposin’ you're kindly let t o live, which I han't m ade up m y m ind about ?” “ My sist er, sir—Mrs. Joe Gargery—wife of Joe Gargery, t he blacksm it h, sir.” “ Blacksm it h, eh?” said he. And looked down at his leg. Aft er darkly looking at his leg and m e several t im es, he cam e closer t o m y t om bst one, t ook m e by bot h arm s, and t ilt ed m e back as far as he could hold m e; so t hat his eyes looked m ost powerfully down int o m ine, and m ine looked m ost helplessly up int o his. “ Now lookee here,” he said, “ t he quest ion being whet her you're t o be let t o live. You know what a file is?” “ Yes, sir.” “ And you know what wit t les is?” “ Yes, sir.” Aft er each quest ion he t ilt ed m e over a lit t le m ore, so as t o give m e a great er sense of helplessness and danger. “ You get m e a file.” He t ilt ed m e again. “ And you get m e wit t les.” He t ilt ed m e again. “ You bring ‘em bot h t o m e.” He t ilt ed m e again. “ Or I 'll have your heart and liver out .” He t ilt ed m e again. I was dreadfully fright ened, and so giddy t hat I clung t o him wit h bot h hands, and said, “ I f you would kindly please t o let m e keep upright , sir, perhaps I shouldn't be sick, and perhaps I could at t end m ore.” 6

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

He gave m e a m ost t rem endous dip and roll, so t hat t he church j um ped over it s own weat her- cock. Then, he held m e by t he arm s, in an upright posit ion on t he t op of t he st one, and went on in t hese fearful t erm s: “ You bring m e, t o- m orrow m orning early, t hat file and t hem wit t les. You bring t he lot t o m e, at t hat old Bat t ery over yonder. You do it , and you never dare t o say a word or dare t o m ake a sign concerning your having seen such a person as m e, or any person sum ever, and you shall be let t o live. You fail, or you go from m y words in any part ickler, no m at t er how sm all it is, and your heart and your liver shall be t ore out , roast ed and at e. Now, I ain't alone, as you m ay t hink I am . There's a young m an hid wit h m e, in com parison wit h which young m an I am a Angel. That young m an hears t he words I speak. That young m an has a secret way pecooliar t o him self, of get t ing at a boy, and at his heart , and at his liver. I t is in wain for a boy t o at t em pt t o hide him self from t hat young m an. A boy m ay lock his door, m ay be warm in bed, m ay t uck him self up, m ay draw t he clot hes over his head, m ay t hink him self com fort able and safe, but t hat young m an will soft ly creep and creep his way t o him and t ear him open. I am a- keeping t hat young m an from harm ing of you at t he present m om ent , wit h great difficult y. I find it wery hard t o hold t hat young m an off of your inside. Now, what do you say?” I said t hat I would get him t he file, and I would get him what broken bit s of food I could, and I would com e t o him at t he Bat t ery, early in t he m orning. “ Say Lord st rike you dead if you don't ! ” said t he m an. 7

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

I said so, and he t ook m e down. “ Now,” he pursued, “ you rem em ber what you've undert ook, and you rem em ber t hat young m an, and you get hom e! ” “ Goo- good night , sir,” I falt ered. “ Much of t hat ! ” said he, glancing about him over t he cold wet flat . “ I wish I was a frog. Or a eel! ” At t he sam e t im e, he hugged his shuddering body in bot h his arm s—clasping him self, as if t o hold him self t oget her—and lim ped t owards t he low church wall. As I saw him go, picking his way am ong t he net t les, and am ong t he bram bles t hat bound t he green m ounds, he looked in m y young eyes as if he were eluding t he hands of t he dead people, st ret ching up caut iously out of t heir graves, t o get a t wist upon his ankle and pull him in. When he cam e t o t he low church wall, he got over it , like a m an whose legs were num bed and st iff, and t hen t urned round t o look for m e. When I saw him t urning, I set m y face t owards hom e, and m ade t he best use of m y legs. But present ly I looked over m y shoulder, and saw him going on again t owards t he river, st ill hugging him self in bot h arm s, and picking his way wit h his sore feet am ong t he great st ones dropped int o t he m arshes here and t here, for st epping- places when t he rains were heavy, or t he t ide was in. The m arshes were j ust a long black horizont al line t hen, as I st opped t o look aft er him ; and t he river was j ust anot her horizont al line, not nearly so broad nor yet so black; and t he sky was j ust a row of long angry red lines and dense black lines int erm ixed. On t he edge of t he river I could faint ly m ake 8

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

out t he only t wo black t hings in all t he prospect t hat seem ed t o be st anding upright ; one of t hese was t he beacon by which t he sailors st eered—like an unhooped cask upon a pole—an ugly t hing when you were near it ; t he ot her a gibbet , wit h som e chains hanging t o it which had once held a pirat e. The m an was lim ping on t owards t his lat t er, as if he were t he pirat e com e t o life, and com e down, and going back t o hook him self up again. I t gave m e a t errible t urn when I t hought so; and as I saw t he cat t le lift ing t heir heads t o gaze aft er him , I wondered whet her t hey t hought so t oo. I looked all round for t he horrible young m an, and could see no signs of him . But , now I was fright ened again, and ran hom e wit hout st opping.

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Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

Chapt er 2 My sist er, Mrs. Joe Gargery, was m ore t han t went y years older t han I , and had est ablished a great reput at ion wit h herself and t he neighbours because she had brought m e up “ by hand.” Having at t hat t im e t o find out for m yself what t he expression m eant , and knowing her t o have a hard and heavy hand, and t o be m uch in t he habit of laying it upon her husband as well as upon m e, I supposed t hat Joe Gargery and I were bot h brought up by hand. She was not a good- looking wom an, m y sist er; and I had a general im pression t hat she m ust have m ade Joe Gargery m arry her by hand. Joe was a fair m an, wit h curls of flaxen hair on each side of his sm oot h face, and wit h eyes of such a very undecided blue t hat t hey seem ed t o have som ehow got m ixed wit h t heir own whit es. He was a m ild, good- nat ured, sweet - t em pered, easy- going, foolish, dear fellow—a sort of Hercules in st rengt h, and also in weakness. My sist er, Mrs. Joe, wit h black hair and eyes, had such a prevailing redness of skin t hat I som et im es used t o wonder whet her it was possible she washed herself wit h a nut m eggrat er inst ead of soap. She was t all and bony, and alm ost always wore a coarse apron, fast ened over her figure behind wit h t wo loops, and having a square im pregnable bib in front , t hat was st uck full of pins and needles. She m ade it a powerful m erit in herself, and a st rong reproach against Joe, t hat she wore t his apron so m uch. Though I really see no reason why she should have worn it at all: or why, if she did 10

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

wear it at all, she should not have t aken it off, every day of her life. Joe's forge adj oined our house, which was a wooden house, as m any of t he dwellings in our count ry were—m ost of t hem , at t hat t im e. When I ran hom e from t he churchyard, t he forge was shut up, and Joe was sit t ing alone in t he kit chen. Joe and I being fellow- sufferers, and having confidences as such, Joe im part ed a confidence t o m e, t he m om ent I raised t he lat ch of t he door and peeped in at him opposit e t o it , sit t ing in t he chim ney corner. “ Mrs. Joe has been out a dozen t im es, looking for you, Pip. And she's out now, m aking it a baker's dozen.” “ I s she?” “ Yes, Pip,” said Joe; “ and what 's worse, she's got Tickler wit h her.” At t his dism al int elligence, I t wist ed t he only but t on on m y waist coat round and round, and looked in great depression at t he fire. Tickler was a wax- ended piece of cane, worn sm oot h by collision wit h m y t ickled fram e. “ She sot down,” said Joe, “ and she got up, and she m ade a grab at Tickler, and she Ram - paged out . That 's what she did,” said Joe, slowly clearing t he fire bet ween t he lower bars wit h t he poker, and looking at it : “ she Ram - paged out , Pip.” “ Has she been gone long, Joe?” I always t reat ed him as a larger species of child, and as no m ore t han m y equal. “ Well,” said Joe, glancing up at t he Dut ch clock, “ she's been on t he Ram - page, t his last spell, about five m inut es, Pip. She's a- com ing! Get behind t he door, old chap, and have t he j ack- t owel bet wixt you.” 11

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

I t ook t he advice. My sist er, Mrs. Joe, t hrowing t he door wide open, and finding an obst ruct ion behind it , im m ediat ely divined t he cause, and applied Tickler t o it s furt her invest igat ion. She concluded by t hrowing m e—I oft en served as a connubial m issile—at Joe, who, glad t o get hold of m e on any t erm s, passed m e on int o t he chim ney and quiet ly fenced m e up t here wit h his great leg. “ Where have you been, you young m onkey?” said Mrs. Joe, st am ping her foot . “ Tell m e direct ly what you've been doing t o wear m e away wit h fret and fright and worrit , or I 'd have you out of t hat corner if you was fift y Pips, and he was five hundred Gargerys.” “ I have only been t o t he churchyard,” said I , from m y st ool, crying and rubbing m yself. “ Churchyard! ” repeat ed m y sist er. “ I f it warn't for m e you'd have been t o t he churchyard long ago, and st ayed t here. Who brought you up by hand?” “ You did,” said I . “ And why did I do it , I should like t o know?” exclaim ed m y sist er. I whim pered, “ I don't know.” “ I don't ! ” said m y sist er. “ I 'd never do it again! I know t hat . I m ay t ruly say I 've never had t his apron of m ine off, since born you were. I t 's bad enough t o be a blacksm it h's wife ( and him a Gargery) wit hout being your m ot her.” My t hought s st rayed from t hat quest ion as I looked disconsolat ely at t he fire. For, t he fugit ive out on t he m arshes wit h t he ironed leg, t he m yst erious young m an, t he file, t he food, and t he dreadful pledge I was under t o com m it a 12

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

larceny on t hose shelt ering prem ises, rose before m e in t he avenging coals. “ Hah! ” said Mrs. Joe, rest oring Tickler t o his st at ion. “ Churchyard, indeed! You m ay well say churchyard, you t wo.” One of us, by- t he- bye, had not said it at all. “ You'll drive m e t o t he churchyard bet wixt you, one of t hese days, and oh, a pr- r- recious pair you'd be wit hout m e! ” As she applied herself t o set t he t ea- t hings, Joe peeped down at m e over his leg, as if he were m ent ally cast ing m e and him self up, and calculat ing what kind of pair we pract ically should m ake, under t he grievous circum st ances foreshadowed. Aft er t hat , he sat feeling his right - side flaxen curls and whisker, and following Mrs. Joe about wit h his blue eyes, as his m anner always was at squally t im es. My sist er had a t renchant way of cut t ing our bread- andbut t er for us, t hat never varied. First , wit h her left hand she j am m ed t he loaf hard and fast against her bib—where it som et im es got a pin int o it , and som et im es a needle, which we aft erwards got int o our m out hs. Then she t ook som e but t er ( not t oo m uch) on a knife and spread it on t he loaf, in an apot hecary kind of way, as if she were m aking a plaist er— using bot h sides of t he knife wit h a slapping dext erit y, and t rim m ing and m oulding t he but t er off round t he crust . Then, she gave t he knife a final sm art wipe on t he edge of t he plaist er, and t hen sawed a very t hick round off t he loaf: which she finally, before separat ing from t he loaf, hewed int o t wo halves, of which Joe got one, and I t he ot her. On t he present occasion, t hough I was hungry, I dared not eat m y slice. I felt t hat I m ust have som et hing in reserve for 13

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

m y dreadful acquaint ance, and his ally t he st ill m ore dreadful young m an. I knew Mrs. Joe's housekeeping t o be of t he st rict est kind, and t hat m y larcenous researches m ight find not hing available in t he safe. Therefore I resolved t o put m y hunk of bread- and- but t er down t he leg of m y t rousers. The effort of resolut ion necessary t o t he achievem ent of t his purpose, I found t o be quit e awful. I t was as if I had t o m ake up m y m ind t o leap from t he t op of a high house, or plunge int o a great dept h of wat er. And it was m ade t he m ore difficult by t he unconscious Joe. I n our already- m ent ioned freem asonry as fellow- sufferers, and in his good- nat ured com panionship wit h m e, it was our evening habit t o com pare t he way we bit t hrough our slices, by silent ly holding t hem up t o each ot her's adm irat ion now and t hen—which st im ulat ed us t o new exert ions. To- night , Joe several t im es invit ed m e, by t he display of his fast - dim inishing slice, t o ent er upon our usual friendly com pet it ion; but he found m e, each t im e, wit h m y yellow m ug of t ea on one knee, and m y unt ouched breadand- but t er on t he ot her. At last , I desperat ely considered t hat t he t hing I cont em plat ed m ust be done, and t hat it had best be done in t he least im probable m anner consist ent wit h t he circum st ances. I t ook advant age of a m om ent when Joe had j ust looked at m e, and got m y bread- and- but t er down m y leg. Joe was evident ly m ade uncom fort able by what he supposed t o be m y loss of appet it e, and t ook a t hought ful bit e out of his slice, which he didn't seem t o enj oy. He t urned it about in his m out h m uch longer t han usual, pondering over it a good deal, and aft er all gulped it down like a pill. He was about t o t ake anot her bit e, and had j ust got his head on one 14

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

side for a good purchase on it , when his eye fell on m e, and he saw t hat m y bread- and- but t er was gone. The wonder and const ernat ion wit h which Joe st opped on t he t hreshold of his bit e and st ared at m e, were t oo evident t o escape m y sist er's observat ion. “ What 's t he m at t er now?” said she, sm art ly, as she put down her cup. “ I say, you know! ” m ut t ered Joe, shaking his head at m e in very serious rem onst rance. “ Pip, old chap! You'll do yourself a m ischief. I t 'll st ick som ewhere. You can't have chawed it , Pip.” “ What 's t he m at t er now?” repeat ed m y sist er, m ore sharply t han before. “ I f you can cough any t rifle on it up, Pip, I 'd recom m end you t o do it ,” said Joe, all aghast . “ Manners is m anners, but st ill your elt h's your elt h.” By t his t im e, m y sist er was quit e desperat e, so she pounced on Joe, and, t aking him by t he t wo whiskers, knocked his head for a lit t le while against t he wall behind him : while I sat in t he corner, looking guilt ily on. “ Now, perhaps you'll m ent ion what 's t he m at t er,” said m y sist er, out of breat h, “ you st aring great st uck pig.” Joe looked at her in a helpless way; t hen t ook a helpless bit e, and looked at m e again. “ You know, Pip,” said Joe, solem nly, wit h his last bit e in his cheek and speaking in a confident ial voice, as if we t wo were quit e alone, “ you and m e is always friends, and I 'd be t he last t o t ell upon you, any t im e. But such a—” he m oved his chair 15

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

and looked about t he floor bet ween us, and t hen again at m e—" such a m ost oncom m on Bolt as t hat ! ” “ Been bolt ing his food, has he?” cried m y sist er. “ You know, old chap,” said Joe, looking at m e, and not at Mrs. Joe, wit h his bit e st ill in his cheek, “ I Bolt ed, m yself, when I was your age—frequent —and as a boy I 've been am ong a m any Bolt ers; but I never see your Bolt ing equal yet , Pip, and it 's a m ercy you ain't Bolt ed dead.” My sist er m ade a dive at m e, and fished m e up by t he hair: saying not hing m ore t han t he awful words, “ You com e along and be dosed.” Som e m edical beast had revived Tar- wat er in t hose days as a fine m edicine, and Mrs. Joe always kept a supply of it in t he cupboard; having a belief in it s virt ues correspondent t o it s nast iness. At t he best of t im es, so m uch of t his elixir was adm inist ered t o m e as a choice rest orat ive, t hat I was conscious of going about , sm elling like a new fence. On t his part icular evening t he urgency of m y case dem anded a pint of t his m ixt ure, which was poured down m y t hroat , for m y great er com fort , while Mrs. Joe held m y head under her arm , as a boot would be held in a boot - j ack. Joe got off wit h half a pint ; but was m ade t o swallow t hat ( m uch t o his dist urbance, as he sat slowly m unching and m edit at ing before t he fire) , “ because he had had a t urn.” Judging from m yself, I should say he cert ainly had a t urn aft erwards, if he had had none before. Conscience is a dreadful t hing when it accuses m an or boy; but when, in t he case of a boy, t hat secret burden cooperat es wit h anot her secret burden down t he leg of his 16

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

t rousers, it is ( as I can t est ify) a great punishm ent . The guilt y knowledge t hat I was going t o rob Mrs. Joe—I never t hought I was going t o rob Joe, for I never t hought of any of t he housekeeping propert y as his—unit ed t o t he necessit y of always keeping one hand on m y bread- and- but t er as I sat , or when I was ordered about t he kit chen on any sm all errand, alm ost drove m e out of m y m ind. Then, as t he m arsh winds m ade t he fire glow and flare, I t hought I heard t he voice out side, of t he m an wit h t he iron on his leg who had sworn m e t o secrecy, declaring t hat he couldn't and wouldn't st arve unt il t o- m orrow, but m ust be fed now. At ot her t im es, I t hought , What if t he young m an who was wit h so m uch difficult y rest rained from im bruing his hands in m e, should yield t o a const it ut ional im pat ience, or should m ist ake t he t im e, and should t hink him self accredit ed t o m y heart and liver t o- night , inst ead of t o- m orrow! I f ever anybody's hair st ood on end wit h t error, m ine m ust have done so t hen. But , perhaps, nobody's ever did? I t was Christ m as Eve, and I had t o st ir t he pudding for next day, wit h a copper- st ick, from seven t o eight by t he Dut ch clock. I t ried it wit h t he load upon m y leg ( and t hat m ade m e t hink afresh of t he m an wit h t he load on his leg) , and found t he t endency of exercise t o bring t he bread- andbut t er out at m y ankle, quit e unm anageable. Happily, I slipped away, and deposit ed t hat part of m y conscience in m y garret bedroom . “ Hark! ” said I , when I had done m y st irring, and was t aking a final warm in t he chim ney corner before being sent up t o bed; “ was t hat great guns, Joe?” 17

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

“ Ah! ” said Joe. “ There's anot her conwict off.” “ What does t hat m ean, Joe?” said I . Mrs. Joe, who always t ook explanat ions upon herself, said, snappishly, “ Escaped. Escaped.” Adm inist ering t he definit ion like Tar- wat er. While Mrs. Joe sat wit h her head bending over her needlework, I put m y m out h int o t he form s of saying t o Joe, “ What 's a convict ?” Joe put his m out h int o t he form s of ret urning such a highly elaborat e answer, t hat I could m ake out not hing of it but t he single word “ Pip.” “ There was a conwict off last night ,” said Joe, aloud, “ aft er sun- set - gun. And t hey fired warning of him . And now, it appears t hey're firing warning of anot her.” “ Who's firing?” said I . “ Drat t hat boy,” int erposed m y sist er, frowning at m e over her work, “ what a quest ioner he is. Ask no quest ions, and you'll be t old no lies.” I t was not very polit e t o herself, I t hought , t o im ply t hat I should be t old lies by her, even if I did ask quest ions. But she never was polit e, unless t here was com pany. At t his point , Joe great ly augm ent ed m y curiosit y by t aking t he ut m ost pains t o open his m out h very wide, and t o put it int o t he form of a word t hat looked t o m e like “ sulks.” Therefore, I nat urally point ed t o Mrs. Joe, and put m y m out h int o t he form of saying “ her?” But Joe wouldn't hear of t hat , at all, and again opened his m out h very wide, and shook t he form of a m ost em phat ic word out of it . But I could m ake not hing of t he word. 18

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

“ Mrs. Joe,” said I , as a last resort , “ I should like t o know— if you wouldn't m uch m ind—where t he firing com es from ?” “ Lord bless t he boy! ” exclaim ed m y sist er, as if she didn't quit e m ean t hat , but rat her t he cont rary. “ From t he Hulks! ” “ Oh- h! ” said I , looking at Joe. “ Hulks! ” Joe gave a reproachful cough, as m uch as t o say, “ Well, I t old you so.” “ And please what 's Hulks?” said I . “ That 's t he way wit h t his boy! ” exclaim ed m y sist er, point ing m e out wit h her needle and t hread, and shaking her head at m e. “ Answer him one quest ion, and he'll ask you a dozen direct ly. Hulks are prison- ships, right ‘cross t h’ m eshes.” We always used t hat nam e for m arshes, in our count ry. “ I wonder who's put int o prison- ships, and why t hey're put t here?” said I , in a general way, and wit h quiet desperat ion. I t was t oo m uch for Mrs. Joe, who im m ediat ely rose. “ I t ell you what , young fellow,” said she, “ I didn't bring you up by hand t o badger people's lives out . I t would be blam e t o m e, and not praise, if I had. People are put in t he Hulks because t hey m urder, and because t hey rob, and forge, and do all sort s of bad; and t hey always begin by asking quest ions. Now, you get along t o bed! ” I was never allowed a candle t o light m e t o bed, and, as I went upst airs in t he dark, wit h m y head t ingling—from Mrs. Joe's t him ble having played t he t am bourine upon it , t o accom pany her last words—I felt fearfully sensible of t he great convenience t hat t he Hulks were handy for m e. I was 19

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

clearly on m y way t here. I had begun by asking quest ions, and I was going t o rob Mrs. Joe. Since t hat t im e, which is far enough away now, I have oft en t hought t hat few people know what secrecy t here is in t he young, under t error. No m at t er how unreasonable t he t error, so t hat it be t error. I was in m ort al t error of t he young m an who want ed m y heart and liver; I was in m ort al t error of m y int erlocut or wit h t he ironed leg; I was in m ort al t error of m yself, from whom an awful prom ise had been ext ract ed; I had no hope of deliverance t hrough m y all- powerful sist er, who repulsed m e at every t urn; I am afraid t o t hink of what I m ight have done, on requirem ent , in t he secrecy of m y t error. I f I slept at all t hat night , it was only t o im agine m yself drift ing down t he river on a st rong spring- t ide, t o t he Hulks; a ghost ly pirat e calling out t o m e t hrough a speaking- t rum pet , as I passed t he gibbet - st at ion, t hat I had bet t er com e ashore and be hanged t here at once, and not put it off. I was afraid t o sleep, even if I had been inclined, for I knew t hat at t he first faint dawn of m orning I m ust rob t he pant ry. There was no doing it in t he night , for t here was no get t ing a light by easy frict ion t hen; t o have got one, I m ust have st ruck it out of flint and st eel, and have m ade a noise like t he very pirat e him self rat t ling his chains. As soon as t he great black velvet pall out side m y lit t le window was shot wit h grey, I got up and went down st airs; every board upon t he way, and every crack in every board, calling aft er m e, “ St op t hief! ” and “ Get up, Mrs. Joe! ” I n t he pant ry, which was far m ore abundant ly supplied t han usual, owing t o t he season, I was very m uch alarm ed, by a hare 20

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

hanging up by t he heels, whom I rat her t hought I caught , when m y back was half t urned, winking. I had no t im e for verificat ion, no t im e for select ion, no t im e for anyt hing, for I had no t im e t o spare. I st ole som e bread, som e rind of cheese, about half a j ar of m incem eat ( which I t ied up in m y pocket - handkerchief wit h m y last night 's slice) , som e brandy from a st one bot t le ( which I decant ed int o a glass bot t le I had secret ly used for m aking t hat int oxicat ing fluid, Spanishliquorice- wat er, up in m y room : dilut ing t he st one bot t le from a j ug in t he kit chen cupboard) , a m eat bone wit h very lit t le on it , and a beaut iful round com pact pork pie. I was nearly going away wit hout t he pie, but I was t em pt ed t o m ount upon a shelf, t o look what it was t hat was put away so carefully in a covered eart hen ware dish in a corner, and I found it was t he pie, and I t ook it , in t he hope t hat it was not int ended for early use, and would not be m issed for som e t im e. There was a door in t he kit chen, com m unicat ing wit h t he forge; I unlocked and unbolt ed t hat door, and got a file from am ong Joe's t ools. Then, I put t he fast enings as I had found t hem , opened t he door at which I had ent ered when I ran hom e last night , shut it , and ran for t he m ist y m arshes.

21

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Chapt er 3 I t was a rim y m orning, and very dam p. I had seen t he dam p lying on t he out side of m y lit t le window, as if som e goblin had been crying t here all night , and using t he window for a pocket - handkerchief. Now, I saw t he dam p lying on t he bare hedges and spare grass, like a coarser sort of spiders’ webs; hanging it self from t wig t o t wig and blade t o blade. On every rail and gat e, wet lay clam m y; and t he m arsh- m ist was so t hick, t hat t he wooden finger on t he post direct ing people t o our village—a direct ion which t hey never accept ed, for t hey never cam e t here—was invisible t o m e unt il I was quit e close under it . Then, as I looked up at it , while it dripped, it seem ed t o m y oppressed conscience like a phant om devot ing m e t o t he Hulks. The m ist was heavier yet when I got out upon t he m arshes, so t hat inst ead of m y running at everyt hing, everyt hing seem ed t o run at m e. This was very disagreeable t o a guilt y m ind. The gat es and dykes and banks cam e burst ing at m e t hrough t he m ist , as if t hey cried as plainly as could be, “ A boy wit h Som ebody- else's pork pie! St op him ! ” The cat t le cam e upon m e wit h like suddenness, st aring out of t heir eyes, and st eam ing out of t heir nost rils, “ Holloa, young t hief! ” One black ox, wit h a whit e cravat on—who even had t o m y awakened conscience som et hing of a clerical air—fixed m e so obst inat ely wit h his eyes, and m oved his blunt head round in such an accusat ory m anner as I m oved round, t hat I blubbered out t o him , “ I couldn't help it , sir! I t wasn't for 22

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

m yself I t ook it ! ” Upon which he put down his head, blew a cloud of sm oke out of his nose, and vanished wit h a kick- up of his hind- legs and a flourish of his t ail. All t his t im e, I was get t ing on t owards t he river; but however fast I went , I couldn't warm m y feet , t o which t he dam p cold seem ed rivet ed, as t he iron was rivet ed t o t he leg of t he m an I was running t o m eet . I knew m y way t o t he Bat t ery, pret t y st raight , for I had been down t here on a Sunday wit h Joe, and Joe, sit t ing on an old gun, had t old m e t hat when I was ‘prent ice t o him regularly bound, we would have such Larks t here! However, in t he confusion of t he m ist , I found m yself at last t oo far t o t he right , and consequent ly had t o t ry back along t he river- side, on t he bank of loose st ones above t he m ud and t he st akes t hat st aked t he t ide out . Making m y way along here wit h all despat ch, I had j ust crossed a dit ch which I knew t o be very near t he Bat t ery, and had j ust scram bled up t he m ound beyond t he dit ch, when I saw t he m an sit t ing before m e. His back was t owards m e, and he had his arm s folded, and was nodding forward, heavy wit h sleep. I t hought he would be m ore glad if I cam e upon him wit h his breakfast , in t hat unexpect ed m anner, so I went forward soft ly and t ouched him on t he shoulder. He inst ant ly j um ped up, and it was not t he sam e m an, but anot her m an! And yet t his m an was dressed in coarse grey, t oo, and had a great iron on his leg, and was lam e, and hoarse, and cold, and was everyt hing t hat t he ot her m an was; except t hat he had not t he sam e face, and had a flat broad- brim m ed lowcrowned felt t hat on. All t his, I saw in a m om ent , for I had 23

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

only a m om ent t o see it in: he swore an oat h at m e, m ade a hit at m e—it was a round weak blow t hat m issed m e and alm ost knocked him self down, for it m ade him st um ble—and t hen he ran int o t he m ist , st um bling t wice as he went , and I lost him . “ I t 's t he young m an! ” I t hought , feeling m y heart shoot as I ident ified him . I dare say I should have felt a pain in m y liver, t oo, if I had known where it was. I was soon at t he Bat t ery, aft er t hat , and t here was t he right m an- hugging him self and lim ping t o and fro, as if he had never all night left off hugging and lim ping—wait ing for m e. He was awfully cold, t o be sure. I half expect ed t o see him drop down before m y face and die of deadly cold. His eyes looked so awfully hungry, t oo, t hat when I handed him t he file and he laid it down on t he grass, it occurred t o m e he would have t ried t o eat it , if he had not seen m y bundle. He did not t urn m e upside down, t his t im e, t o get at what I had, but left m e right side upwards while I opened t he bundle and em pt ied m y pocket s. “ What 's in t he bot t le, boy?” said he. “ Brandy,” said I . He was already handing m incem eat down his t hroat in t he m ost curious m anner—m ore like a m an who was put t ing it away som ewhere in a violent hurry, t han a m an who was eat ing it —but he left off t o t ake som e of t he liquor. He shivered all t he while, so violent ly, t hat it was quit e as m uch as he could do t o keep t he neck of t he bot t le bet ween his t eet h, wit hout bit ing it off. “ I t hink you have got t he ague,” said I . 24

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

“ I 'm m uch of your opinion, boy,” said he. “ I t 's bad about here,” I t old him . “ You've been lying out on t he m eshes, and t hey're dreadful aguish. Rheum at ic t oo.” “ I 'll eat m y breakfast afore t hey're t he deat h of m e,” said he. “ I 'd do t hat , if I was going t o be st rung up t o t hat t here gallows as t here is over t here, direct ly aft erwards. I 'll beat t he shivers so far, I 'll bet you.” He was gobbling m incem eat , m eat bone, bread, cheese, and pork pie, all at once: st aring dist rust fully while he did so at t he m ist all round us, and oft en st opping—even st opping his j aws—t o list en. Som e real or fancied sound, som e clink upon t he river or breat hing of beast upon t he m arsh, now gave him a st art , and he said, suddenly: “ You're not a deceiving im p? You brought no one wit h you?” “ No, sir! No! ” “ Nor giv’ no one t he office t o follow you?” “ No! ” “ Well,” said he, “ I believe you. You'd be but a fierce young hound indeed, if at your t im e of life you could help t o hunt a wret ched warm int , hunt ed as near deat h and dunghill as t his poor wret ched warm int is! ” Som et hing clicked in his t hroat , as if he had works in him like a clock, and was going t o st rike. And he sm eared his ragged rough sleeve over his eyes. Pit ying his desolat ion, and wat ching him as he gradually set t led down upon t he pie, I m ade bold t o say, “ I am glad you enj oy it .” “ Did you speak?” 25

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

“ I said I was glad you enj oyed it .” “ Thankee, m y boy. I do.” I had oft en wat ched a large dog of ours eat ing his food; and I now not iced a decided sim ilarit y bet ween t he dog's way of eat ing, and t he m an's. The m an t ook st rong sharp sudden bit es, j ust like t he dog. He swallowed, or rat her snapped up, every m out hful, t oo soon and t oo fast ; and he looked sideways here and t here while he at e, as if he t hought t here was danger in every direct ion, of som ebody's com ing t o t ake t he pie away. He was alt oget her t oo unset t led in his m ind over it , t o appreciat e it com fort ably, I t hought , or t o have anybody t o dine wit h him , wit hout m aking a chop wit h his j aws at t he visit or. I n all of which part iculars he was very like t he dog. “ I am afraid you won't leave any of it for him ,” said I , t im idly; aft er a silence during which I had hesit at ed as t o t he polit eness of m aking t he rem ark. “ There's no m ore t o be got where t hat cam e from .” I t was t he cert aint y of t his fact t hat im pelled m e t o offer t he hint . “ Leave any for him ? Who's him ?” said m y friend, st opping in his crunching of pie- crust . “ The young m an. That you spoke of. That was hid wit h you.” “ Oh ah! ” he ret urned, wit h som et hing like a gruff laugh. “ Him ? Yes, yes! He don't want no wit t les.” “ I t hought he looked as if he did,” said I . The m an st opped eat ing, and regarded m e wit h t he keenest scrut iny and t he great est surprise. “ Looked? When?” 26

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

“ Just now.” “ Where?” “ Yonder,” said I , point ing; “ over t here, where I found him nodding asleep, and t hought it was you.” He held m e by t he collar and st ared at m e so, t hat I began t o t hink his first idea about cut t ing m y t hroat had revived. “ Dressed like you, you know, only wit h a hat ,” I explained, t rem bling; “ and—and" —I was very anxious t o put t his delicat ely—" and wit h—t he sam e reason for want ing t o borrow a file. Didn't you hear t he cannon last night ?” “ Then, t here was firing! ” he said t o him self. “ I wonder you shouldn't have been sure of t hat ,” I ret urned, “ for we heard it up at hom e, and t hat 's furt her away, and we were shut in besides.” “ Why, see now! ” said he. “ When a m an's alone on t hese flat s, wit h a light head and a light st om ach, perishing of cold and want , he hears not hin’ all night , but guns firing, and voices calling. Hears? He sees t he soldiers, wit h t heir red coat s light ed up by t he t orches carried afore, closing in round him . Hears his num ber called, hears him self challenged, hears t he rat t le of t he m usket s, hears t he orders ‘Make ready! Present ! Cover him st eady, m en! ’ and is laid hands on—and t here's not hin'! Why, if I see one pursuing part y last night — com ing up in order, Dam n ‘em , wit h t heir t ram p, t ram p—I see a hundred. And as t o firing! Why, I see t he m ist shake wit h t he cannon, art er it was broad day—But t his m an; ” he had said all t he rest , as if he had forgot t en m y being t here; “ did you not ice anyt hing in him ?” 27

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

“ He had a badly bruised face,” said I , recalling what I hardly knew I knew. “ Not here?” exclaim ed t he m an, st riking his left cheek m ercilessly, wit h t he flat of his hand. “ Yes, t here! ” “ Where is he?” He cram m ed what lit t le food was left , int o t he breast of his grey j acket . “ Show m e t he way he went . I 'll pull him down, like a bloodhound. Curse t his iron on m y sore leg! Give us hold of t he file, boy.” I indicat ed in what direct ion t he m ist had shrouded t he ot her m an, and he looked up at it for an inst ant . But he was down on t he rank wet grass, filing at his iron like a m adm an, and not m inding m e or m inding his own leg, which had an old chafe upon it and was bloody, but which he handled as roughly as if it had no m ore feeling in it t han t he file. I was very m uch afraid of him again, now t hat he had worked him self int o t his fierce hurry, and I was likewise very m uch afraid of keeping away from hom e any longer. I t old him I m ust go, but he t ook no not ice, so I t hought t he best t hing I could do was t o slip off. The last I saw of him , his head was bent over his knee and he was working hard at his fet t er, m ut t ering im pat ient im precat ions at it and at his leg. The last I heard of him , I st opped in t he m ist t o list en, and t he file was st ill going.

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Chapt er 4 I fully expect ed t o find a Const able in t he kit chen, wait ing t o t ake m e up. But not only was t here no Const able t here, but no discovery had yet been m ade of t he robbery. Mrs. Joe was prodigiously busy in get t ing t he house ready for t he fest ivit ies of t he day, and Joe had been put upon t he kit chen door- st ep t o keep him out of t he dust - pan—an art icle int o which his dest iny always led him sooner or lat er, when m y sist er was vigorously reaping t he floors of her est ablishm ent . “ And where t he deuce ha’ you been?” was Mrs. Joe's Christ m as salut at ion, when I and m y conscience showed ourselves. I said I had been down t o hear t he Carols. “ Ah! well! ” observed Mrs. Joe. “ You m ight ha’ done worse.” Not a doubt of t hat , I t hought . “ Perhaps if I warn't a blacksm it h's wife, and ( what 's t he sam e t hing) a slave wit h her apron never off, I should have been t o hear t he Carols,” said Mrs. Joe. “ I 'm rat her part ial t o Carols, m yself, and t hat 's t he best of reasons for m y never hearing any.” Joe, who had vent ured int o t he kit chen aft er m e as t he dust - pan had ret ired before us, drew t he back of his hand across his nose wit h a conciliat ory air when Mrs. Joe dart ed a look at him , and, when her eyes were wit hdrawn, secret ly crossed his t wo forefingers, and exhibit ed t hem t o m e, as our t oken t hat Mrs. Joe was in a cross t em per. This was so m uch her norm al st at e, t hat Joe and I would oft en, for weeks 29

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

t oget her, be, as t o our fingers, like m onum ent al Crusaders as t o t heir legs. We were t o have a superb dinner, consist ing of a leg of pickled pork and greens, and a pair of roast st uffed fowls. A handsom e m ince- pie had been m ade yest erday m orning ( which account ed for t he m incem eat not being m issed) , and t he pudding was already on t he boil. These ext ensive arrangem ent s occasioned us t o be cut off uncerem oniously in respect of breakfast ; “ for I an't ,” said Mrs. Joe, “ I an't a- going t o have no form al cram m ing and bust ing and washing up now, wit h what I 've got before m e, I prom ise you! ” So, we had our slices served out , as if we were t wo t housand t roops on a forced m arch inst ead of a m an and boy at hom e; and we t ook gulps of m ilk and wat er, wit h apologet ic count enances, from a j ug on t he dresser. I n t he m eant im e, Mrs. Joe put clean whit e curt ains up, and t acked a new flowered- flounce across t he wide chim ney t o replace t he old one, and uncovered t he lit t le st at e parlour across t he passage, which was never uncovered at any ot her t im e, but passed t he rest of t he year in a cool haze of silver paper, which even ext ended t o t he four lit t le whit e crockery poodles on t he m ant elshelf, each wit h a black nose and a basket of flowers in his m out h, and each t he count erpart of t he ot her. Mrs. Joe was a very clean housekeeper, but had an exquisit e art of m aking her cleanliness m ore uncom fort able and unaccept able t han dirt it self. Cleanliness is next t o Godliness, and som e people do t he sam e by t heir religion. My sist er having so m uch t o do, was going t o church vicariously; t hat is t o say, Joe and I were going. I n his 30

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

working clot hes, Joe was a well- knit charact erist ic- looking blacksm it h; in his holiday clot hes, he was m ore like a scarecrow in good circum st ances, t han anyt hing else. Not hing t hat he wore t hen, fit t ed him or seem ed t o belong t o him ; and everyt hing t hat he wore t hen, grazed him . On t he present fest ive occasion he em erged from his room , when t he blit he bells were going, t he pict ure of m isery, in a full suit of Sunday penit ent ials. As t o m e, I t hink m y sist er m ust have had som e general idea t hat I was a young offender whom an Accoucheur Policem en had t aken up ( on m y birt hday) and delivered over t o her, t o be dealt wit h according t o t he out raged m aj est y of t he law. I was always t reat ed as if I had insist ed on being born, in opposit ion t o t he dict at es of reason, religion, and m oralit y, and against t he dissuading argum ent s of m y best friends. Even when I was t aken t o have a new suit of clot hes, t he t ailor had orders t o m ake t hem like a kind of Reform at ory, and on no account t o let m e have t he free use of m y lim bs. Joe and I going t o church, t herefore, m ust have been a m oving spect acle for com passionat e m inds. Yet , what I suffered out side, was not hing t o what I underwent wit hin. The t errors t hat had assailed m e whenever Mrs. Joe had gone near t he pant ry, or out of t he room , were only t o be equalled by t he rem orse wit h which m y m ind dwelt on what m y hands had done. Under t he weight of m y wicked secret , I pondered whet her t he Church would be powerful enough t o shield m e from t he vengeance of t he t errible young m an, if I divulged t o t hat est ablishm ent . I conceived t he idea t hat t he t im e when t he banns were read and when t he clergym an said, “ Ye are 31

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

now t o declare it ! ” would be t he t im e for m e t o rise and propose a privat e conference in t he vest ry. I am far from being sure t hat I m ight not have ast onished our sm all congregat ion by resort ing t o t his ext rem e m easure, but for it s being Christ m as Day and no Sunday. Mr. Wopsle, t he clerk at church, was t o dine wit h us; and Mr. Hubble t he wheelwright and Mrs. Hubble; and Uncle Pum blechook ( Joe's uncle, but Mrs. Joe appropriat ed him ) , who was a well- t o- do corn- chandler in t he nearest t own, and drove his own chaise- cart . The dinner hour was half- past one. When Joe and I got hom e, we found t he t able laid, and Mrs. Joe dressed, and t he dinner dressing, and t he front door unlocked ( it never was at any ot her t im e) for t he com pany t o ent er by, and everyt hing m ost splendid. And st ill, not a word of t he robbery. The t im e cam e, wit hout bringing wit h it any relief t o m y feelings, and t he com pany cam e. Mr. Wopsle, unit ed t o a Rom an nose and a large shining bald forehead, had a deep voice which he was uncom m only proud of; indeed it was underst ood am ong his acquaint ance t hat if you could only give him his head, he would read t he clergym an int o fit s; he him self confessed t hat if t he Church was “ t hrown open,” m eaning t o com pet it ion, he would not despair of m aking his m ark in it . The Church not being “ t hrown open,” he was, as I have said, our clerk. But he punished t he Am ens t rem endously; and when he gave out t he psalm —always giving t he whole verse—he looked all round t he congregat ion first , as m uch as t o say, “ You have heard m y friend overhead; oblige m e wit h your opinion of t his st yle! ” 32

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

I opened t he door t o t he com pany—m aking believe t hat it was a habit of ours t o open t hat door—and I opened it first t o Mr. Wopsle, next t o Mr. and Mrs. Hubble, and last of all t o Uncle Pum blechook. N.B., I was not allowed t o call him uncle, under t he severest penalt ies. “ Mrs. Joe,” said Uncle Pum blechook: a large hardbreat hing m iddle- aged slow m an, wit h a m out h like a fish, dull st aring eyes, and sandy hair st anding upright on his head, so t hat he looked as if he had j ust been all but choked, and had t hat m om ent com e t o; “ I have brought you, as t he com plim ent s of t he season—I have brought you, Mum , a bot t le of sherry wine—and I have brought you, Mum , a bot t le of port wine.” Every Christ m as Day he present ed him self, as a profound novelt y, wit h exact ly t he sam e words, and carrying t he t wo bot t les like dum b- bells. Every Christ m as Day, Mrs. Joe replied, as she now replied, “ Oh, Un—cle Pum —ble—chook! This I S kind! ” Every Christ m as Day, he ret ort ed, as he now ret ort ed, “ I t 's no m ore t han your m erit s. And now are you all bobbish, and how's Sixpennort h of halfpence?” m eaning m e. We dined on t hese occasions in t he kit chen, and adj ourned, for t he nut s and oranges and apples, t o t he parlour; which was a change very like Joe's change from his working clot hes t o his Sunday dress. My sist er was uncom m only lively on t he present occasion, and indeed was generally m ore gracious in t he societ y of Mrs. Hubble t han in ot her com pany. I rem em ber Mrs. Hubble as a lit t le curly sharp- edged person in sky- blue, who held a convent ionally j uvenile posit ion, because she had m arried Mr. Hubble—I 33

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don't know at what rem ot e period—when she was m uch younger t han he. I rem em ber Mr Hubble as a t ough highshouldered st ooping old m an, of a sawdust y fragrance, wit h his legs ext raordinarily wide apart : so t hat in m y short days I always saw som e m iles of open count ry bet ween t hem when I m et him com ing up t he lane. Am ong t his good com pany I should have felt m yself, even if I hadn't robbed t he pant ry, in a false posit ion. Not because I was squeezed in at an acut e angle of t he t able- clot h, wit h t he t able in m y chest , and t he Pum blechookian elbow in m y eye, nor because I was not allowed t o speak ( I didn't want t o speak) , nor because I was regaled wit h t he scaly t ips of t he drum st icks of t he fowls, and wit h t hose obscure corners of pork of which t he pig, when living, had had t he least reason t o be vain. No; I should not have m inded t hat , if t hey would only have left m e alone. But t hey wouldn't leave m e alone. They seem ed t o t hink t he opport unit y lost , if t hey failed t o point t he conversat ion at m e, every now and t hen, and st ick t he point int o m e. I m ight have been an unfort unat e lit t le bull in a Spanish arena, I got so sm art ingly t ouched up by t hese m oral goads. I t began t he m om ent we sat down t o dinner. Mr. Wopsle said grace wit h t heat rical declam at ion—as it now appears t o m e, som et hing like a religious cross of t he Ghost in Ham let wit h Richard t he Third—and ended wit h t he very proper aspirat ion t hat we m ight be t ruly grat eful. Upon which m y sist er fixed m e wit h her eye, and said, in a low reproachful voice, “ Do you hear t hat ? Be grat eful.” 34

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

“ Especially,” said Mr. Pum blechook, “ be grat eful, boy, t o t hem which brought you up by hand.” Mrs. Hubble shook her head, and cont em plat ing m e wit h a m ournful present im ent t hat I should com e t o no good, asked, “ Why is it t hat t he young are never grat eful?” This m oral m yst ery seem ed t oo m uch for t he com pany unt il Mr. Hubble t ersely solved it by saying, “ Nat erally wicious.” Everybody t hen m urm ured “ True! ” and looked at m e in a part icularly unpleasant and personal m anner. Joe's st at ion and influence were som et hing feebler ( if possible) when t here was com pany, t han when t here was none. But he always aided and com fort ed m e when he could, in som e way of his own, and he always did so at dinner- t im e by giving m e gravy, if t here were any. There being plent y of gravy t o- day, Joe spooned int o m y plat e, at t his point , about half a pint . A lit t le lat er on in t he dinner, Mr. Wopsle reviewed t he serm on wit h som e severit y, and int im at ed—in t he usual hypot het ical case of t he Church being “ t hrown open" —what kind of serm on he would have given t hem . Aft er favouring t hem wit h som e heads of t hat discourse, he rem arked t hat he considered t he subj ect of t he day's hom ily, ill- chosen; which was t he less excusable, he added, when t here were so m any subj ect s “ going about .” “ True again,” said Uncle Pum blechook. “ You've hit it , sir! Plent y of subj ect s going about , for t hem t hat know how t o put salt upon t heir t ails. That 's what 's want ed. A m an needn't go far t o find a subj ect , if he's ready wit h his salt - box.” Mr. Pum blechook added, aft er a short int erval of reflect ion, “ Look 35

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

at Pork alone. There's a subj ect ! I f you want a subj ect , look at Pork! ” “ True, sir. Many a m oral for t he young,” ret urned Mr. Wopsle; and I knew he was going t o lug m e in, before he said it ; “ m ight be deduced from t hat t ext .” ( " You list en t o t his,” said m y sist er t o m e, in a severe parent hesis.) Joe gave m e som e m ore gravy. “ Swine,” pursued Mr. Wopsle, in his deepest voice, and point ing his fork at m y blushes, as if he were m ent ioning m y Christ ian nam e; “ Swine were t he com panions of t he prodigal. The glut t ony of Swine is put before us, as an exam ple t o t he young.” ( I t hought t his pret t y well in him who had been praising up t he pork for being so plum p and j uicy.) “ What is det est able in a pig, is m ore det est able in a boy.” “ Or girl,” suggest ed Mr. Hubble. “ Of course, or girl, Mr. Hubble,” assent ed Mr. Wopsle, rat her irrit ably, “ but t here is no girl present .” “ Besides,” said Mr. Pum blechook, t urning sharp on m e, “ t hink what you've got t o be grat eful for. I f you'd been born a Squeaker—” “ He was, if ever a child was,” said m y sist er, m ost em phat ically. Joe gave m e som e m ore gravy. “ Well, but I m ean a four- foot ed Squeaker,” said Mr. Pum blechook. “ I f you had been born such, would you have been here now? Not you—” “ Unless in t hat form ,” said Mr. Wopsle, nodding t owards t he dish. 36

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

“ But I don't m ean in t hat form , sir,” ret urned Mr. Pum blechook, who had an obj ect ion t o being int errupt ed; “ I m ean, enj oying him self wit h his elders and bet t ers, and im proving him self wit h t heir conversat ion, and rolling in t he lap of luxury. Would he have been doing t hat ? No, he wouldn't . And what would have been your dest inat ion?” t urning on m e again. “ You would have been disposed of for so m any shillings according t o t he m arket price of t he art icle, and Dunst able t he but cher would have com e up t o you as you lay in your st raw, and he would have whipped you under his left arm , and wit h his right he would have t ucked up his frock t o get a penknife from out of his waist coat - pocket , and he would have shed your blood and had your life. No bringing up by hand t hen. Not a bit of it ! ” Joe offered m e m ore gravy, which I was afraid t o t ake. “ He was a world of t rouble t o you, m a'am ,” said Mrs. Hubble, com m iserat ing m y sist er. “ Trouble?” echoed m y sist er; “ t rouble?” and t hen ent ered on a fearful cat alogue of all t he illnesses I had been guilt y of, and all t he act s of sleeplessness I had com m it t ed, and all t he high places I had t um bled from , and all t he low places I had t um bled int o, and all t he inj uries I had done m yself, and all t he t im es she had wished m e in m y grave, and I had cont um aciously refused t o go t here. I t hink t he Rom ans m ust have aggravat ed one anot her very m uch, wit h t heir noses. Perhaps, t hey becam e t he rest less people t hey were, in consequence. Anyhow, Mr. Wopsle's Rom an nose so aggravat ed m e, during t he recit al of m y m isdem eanours, t hat I should have liked t o pull it unt il he 37

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

howled. But , all I had endured up t o t his t im e, was not hing in com parison wit h t he awful feelings t hat t ook possession of m e when t he pause was broken which ensued upon m y sist er's recit al, and in which pause everybody had looked at m e ( as I felt painfully conscious) wit h indignat ion and abhorrence. “ Yet ,” said Mr. Pum blechook, leading t he com pany gent ly back t o t he t hem e from which t hey had st rayed, “ Pork— regarded as biled—is rich, t oo; ain't it ?” “ Have a lit t le brandy, uncle,” said m y sist er. O Heavens, it had com e at last ! He would find it was weak, he would say it was weak, and I was lost ! I held t ight t o t he leg of t he t able under t he clot h, wit h bot h hands, and await ed m y fat e. My sist er went for t he st one bot t le, cam e back wit h t he st one bot t le, and poured his brandy out : no one else t aking any. The wret ched m an t rifled wit h his glass—t ook it up, looked at it t hrough t he light , put it down—prolonged m y m isery. All t his t im e, Mrs. Joe and Joe were briskly clearing t he t able for t he pie and pudding. I couldn't keep m y eyes off him . Always holding t ight by t he leg of t he t able wit h m y hands and feet , I saw t he m iserable creat ure finger his glass playfully, t ake it up, sm ile, t hrow his head back, and drink t he brandy off. I nst ant ly aft erwards, t he com pany were seized wit h unspeakable const ernat ion, owing t o his springing t o his feet , t urning round several t im es in an appalling spasm odic whoopingcough dance, and rushing out at t he door; he t hen becam e visible t hrough t he window, violent ly plunging and 38

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expect orat ing, m aking t he m ost hideous faces, and apparent ly out of his m ind. I held on t ight , while Mrs. Joe and Joe ran t o him . I didn't know how I had done it , but I had no doubt I had m urdered him som ehow. I n m y dreadful sit uat ion, it was a relief when he was brought back, and, surveying t he com pany all round as if t hey had disagreed wit h him , sank down int o his chair wit h t he one significant gasp, “ Tar! ” I had filled up t he bot t le from t he t ar- wat er j ug. I knew he would be worse by- and- by. I m oved t he t able, like a Medium of t he present day, by t he vigour of m y unseen hold upon it . “ Tar! ” cried m y sist er, in am azem ent . “ Why, how ever could Tar com e t here?” But , Uncle Pum blechook, who was om nipot ent in t hat kit chen, wouldn't hear t he word, wouldn't hear of t he subj ect , im periously waved it all away wit h his hand, and asked for hot gin- and- wat er. My sist er, who had begun t o be alarm ingly m edit at ive, had t o em ploy herself act ively in get t ing t he gin, t he hot wat er, t he sugar, and t he lem on- peel, and m ixing t hem . For t he t im e being at least , I was saved. I st ill held on t o t he leg of t he t able, but clut ched it now wit h t he fervour of grat it ude. By degrees, I becam e calm enough t o release m y grasp and part ake of pudding. Mr. Pum blechook part ook of pudding. All part ook of pudding. The course t erm inat ed, and Mr. Pum blechook had begun t o beam under t he genial influence of gin- and- wat er. I began t o t hink I should get over t he day, when m y sist er said t o Joe, “ Clean plat es—cold.” 39

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

I clut ched t he leg of t he t able again im m ediat ely, and pressed it t o m y bosom as if it had been t he com panion of m y yout h and friend of m y soul. I foresaw what was com ing, and I felt t hat t his t im e I really was gone. “ You m ust t ast e,” said m y sist er, addressing t he guest s wit h her best grace, “ You m ust t ast e, t o finish wit h, such a delight ful and delicious present of Uncle Pum blechook's! ” Must t hey! Let t hem not hope t o t ast e it ! “ You m ust know,” said m y sist er, rising, “ it 's a pie; a savoury pork pie.” The com pany m urm ured t heir com plim ent s. Uncle Pum blechook, sensible of having deserved well of his fellowcreat ures, said—quit e vivaciously, all t hings considered— " Well, Mrs. Joe, we'll do our best endeavours; let us have a cut at t his sam e pie.” My sist er went out t o get it . I heard her st eps proceed t o t he pant ry. I saw Mr. Pum blechook balance his knife. I saw re- awakening appet it e in t he Rom an nost rils of Mr. Wopsle. I heard Mr. Hubble rem ark t hat “ a bit of savoury pork pie would lay at op of anyt hing you could m ent ion, and do no harm ,” and I heard Joe say, “ You shall have som e, Pip.” I have never been absolut ely cert ain whet her I ut t ered a shrill yell of t error, m erely in spirit , or in t he bodily hearing of t he com pany. I felt t hat I could bear no m ore, and t hat I m ust run away. I released t he leg of t he t able, and ran for m y life. But , I ran no furt her t han t he house door, for t here I ran head forem ost int o a part y of soldiers wit h t heir m usket s: one of whom held out a pair of handcuffs t o m e, saying, “ Here you are, look sharp, com e on! ” 40

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

Chapt er 5 The apparit ion of a file of soldiers ringing down t he but t ends of t heir loaded m usket s on our door- st ep, caused t he dinner- part y t o rise from t able in confusion, and caused Mrs. Joe re- ent ering t he kit chen em pt y- handed, t o st op short and st are, in her wondering lam ent of “ Gracious goodness gracious m e, what 's gone—wit h t he—pie! ” The sergeant and I were in t he kit chen when Mrs. Joe st ood st aring; at which crisis I part ially recovered t he use of m y senses. I t was t he sergeant who had spoken t o m e, and he was now looking round at t he com pany, wit h his handcuffs invit ingly ext ended t owards t hem in his right hand, and his left on m y shoulder. “ Excuse m e, ladies and gent lem an,” said t he sergeant , “ but as I have m ent ioned at t he door t o t his sm art young shaver” ( which he hadn't ) , “ I am on a chase in t he nam e of t he king, and I want t he blacksm it h.” “ And pray what m ight you want wit h him ?” ret ort ed m y sist er, quick t o resent his being want ed at all. “ Missis,” ret urned t he gallant sergeant , “ speaking for m yself, I should reply, t he honour and pleasure of his fine wife's acquaint ance; speaking for t he king, I answer, a lit t le j ob done.” This was received as rat her neat in t he sergeant ; insom uch t hat Mr Pum blechook cried audibly, “ Good again! ” “ You see, blacksm it h,” said t he sergeant , who had by t his t im e picked out Joe wit h his eye, “ we have had an accident 41

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

wit h t hese, and I find t he lock of one of ‘em goes wrong, and t he coupling don't act pret t y. As t hey are want ed for im m ediat e service, will you t hrow your eye over t hem ?” Joe t hrew his eye over t hem , and pronounced t hat t he j ob would necessit at e t he light ing of his forge fire, and would t ake nearer t wo hours t han one, “ Will it ? Then will you set about it at once, blacksm it h?” said t he off- hand sergeant , “ as it 's on his Maj est y's service. And if m y m en can beat a hand anywhere, t hey'll m ake t hem selves useful.” Wit h t hat , he called t o his m en, who cam e t rooping int o t he kit chen one aft er anot her, and piled t heir arm s in a corner. And t hen t hey st ood about , as soldiers do; now, wit h t heir hands loosely clasped before t hem ; now, rest ing a knee or a shoulder; now, easing a belt or a pouch; now, opening t he door t o spit st iffly over t heir high st ocks, out int o t he yard. All t hese t hings I saw wit hout t hen knowing t hat I saw t hem , for I was in an agony of apprehension. But , beginning t o perceive t hat t he handcuffs were not for m e, and t hat t he m ilit ary had so far got t he bet t er of t he pie as t o put it in t he background, I collect ed a lit t le m ore of m y scat t ered wit s. “ Would you give m e t he Tim e?” said t he sergeant , addressing him self t o Mr. Pum blechook, as t o a m an whose appreciat ive powers j ust ified t he inference t hat he was equal t o t he t im e. “ I t 's j ust gone half- past t wo.” “ That 's not so bad,” said t he sergeant , reflect ing; “ even if I was forced t o halt here nigh t wo hours, t hat 'll do. How far m ight you call yourselves from t he m arshes, hereabout s? Not above a m ile, I reckon?” 42

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

“ Just a m ile,” said Mrs. Joe. “ That 'll do. We begin t o close in upon ‘em about dusk. A lit t le before dusk, m y orders are. That 'll do.” “ Convict s, sergeant ?” asked Mr. Wopsle, in a m at t er- ofcourse way. “ Ay! ” ret urned t he sergeant , “ t wo. They're pret t y well known t o be out on t he m arshes st ill, and t hey won't t ry t o get clear of ‘em before dusk. Anybody here seen anyt hing of any such gam e?” Everybody, m yself except ed, said no, wit h confidence. Nobody t hought of m e. “ Well! ” said t he sergeant , “ t hey'll find t hem selves t rapped in a circle, I expect , sooner t han t hey count on. Now, blacksm it h! I f you're ready, his Maj est y t he King is.” Joe had got his coat and waist coat and cravat off, and his leat her apron on, and passed int o t he forge. One of t he soldiers opened it s wooden windows, anot her light ed t he fire, anot her t urned t o at t he bellows, t he rest st ood round t he blaze, which was soon roaring. Then Joe began t o ham m er and clink, ham m er and clink, and we all looked on. The int erest of t he im pending pursuit not only absorbed t he general at t ent ion, but even m ade m y sist er liberal. She drew a pit cher of beer from t he cask, for t he soldiers, and invit ed t he sergeant t o t ake a glass of brandy. But Mr. Pum blechook said, sharply, “ Give him wine, Mum . I 'll engage t here's no Tar in t hat : ” so, t he sergeant t hanked him and said t hat as he preferred his drink wit hout t ar, he would t ake wine, if it was equally convenient . When it was given him , he drank 43

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

his Maj est y's healt h and Com plim ent s of t he Season, and t ook it all at a m out hful and sm acked his lips. “ Good st uff, eh, sergeant ?” said Mr. Pum blechook. “ I 'll t ell you som et hing,” ret urned t he sergeant ; “ I suspect t hat st uff's of your providing.” Mr. Pum blechook, wit h a fat sort of laugh, said, “ Ay, ay? Why?” “ Because,” ret urned t he sergeant , clapping him on t he shoulder, “ you're a m an t hat knows what 's what .” “ D'ye t hink so?” said Mr. Pum blechook, wit h his form er laugh. “ Have anot her glass! ” “ Wit h you. Hob and nob,” ret urned t he sergeant . “ The t op of m ine t o t he foot of yours—t he foot of yours t o t he t op of m ine—Ring once, ring t wice—t he best t une on t he Musical Glasses! Your healt h. May you live a t housand years, and never be a worse j udge of t he right sort t han you are at t he present m om ent of your life! ” The sergeant t ossed off his glass again and seem ed quit e ready for anot her glass. I not iced t hat Mr. Pum blechook in his hospit alit y appeared t o forget t hat he had m ade a present of t he wine, but t ook t he bot t le from Mrs. Joe and had all t he credit of handing it about in a gush of j ovialit y. Even I got som e. And he was so very free of t he wine t hat he even called for t he ot her bot t le, and handed t hat about wit h t he sam e liberalit y, when t he first was gone. As I wat ched t hem while t hey all st ood clust ering about t he forge, enj oying t hem selves so m uch, I t hought what t errible good sauce for a dinner m y fugit ive friend on t he m arshes was. They had not enj oyed t hem selves a quart er so 44

Great Expect at ions by Charl es Dickens

m uch, before t he ent ert ainm ent was bright ened wit h t he excit em ent he furnished. And now, when t hey were all in lively ant icipat ion of “ t he t wo villains” being t aken, and when t he bellows seem ed t o roar for t he fugit ives, t he fire t o flare for t hem , t he sm oke t o hurry away in pursuit of t hem , Joe t o ham m er and clink for t hem , and all t he m urky shadows on t he wall t o shake at t hem in m enace as t he blaze rose and sank and t he red- hot sparks dropped and died, t he pale aft ernoon out side, alm ost seem ed in m y pit ying young fancy t o have t urned pale on t heir account , poor wret ches. At last , Joe's j ob was done, and t he ringing and roaring st opped. As Joe got on his coat , he m ust ered courage t o propose t hat som e of us should go down wit h t he soldiers and see what cam e of t he hunt . Mr. Pum blechook and Mr. Hubble declined, on t he plea of a pipe and ladies’ societ y; but Mr. Wopsle said he would go, if Joe would. Joe said he was agreeable, and would t ake m e, if Mrs. Joe approved. We never should have got leave t o go, I am sure, but for Mrs. Joe's curiosit y t o know all about it and how it ended. As it was, she m erely st ipulat ed, “ I f you bring t he boy back wit h his head blown t o bit s by a m usket , don't look t o m e t o put it t oget her again.” The sergeant t ook a polit e leave of t he ladies, and part ed from Mr. Pum blechook as from a com rade; t hough I doubt if he were quit e as fully sensible of t hat gent lem an's m erit s under arid condit ions, as when som et hing m oist was going. His m en resum ed t heir m usket s and fell in. Mr. Wopsle, Joe, and I , received st rict charge t o keep in t he rear, and t o speak no word aft er we reached t he m arshes. When we were all out 45

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in t he raw air and were st eadily m oving t owards our business, I t reasonably whispered t o Joe, “ I hope, Joe, we shan't find t hem .” and Joe whispered t o m e, “ I 'd give a shilling if t hey had cut and run, Pip.” We were j oined by no st ragglers from t he village, for t he weat her was cold and t hreat ening, t he way dreary, t he foot ing bad, darkness com ing on, and t he people had good fires in- doors and were keeping t he day. A few faces hurried t o glowing windows and looked aft er us, but none cam e out . We passed t he finger- post , and held st raight on t o t he churchyard. There, we were st opped a few m inut es by a signal from t he sergeant 's hand, while t wo or t hree of his m en dispersed t hem selves am ong t he graves, and also exam ined t he porch. They cam e in again wit hout finding anyt hing, and t hen we st ruck out on t he open m arshes, t hrough t he gat e at t he side of t he churchyard. A bit t er sleet cam e rat t ling against us here on t he east wind, and Joe t ook m e on his back. Now t hat we were out upon t he dism al wilderness where t hey lit t le t hought I had been wit hin eight or nine hours and had seen bot h m en hiding, I considered for t he first t im e, wit h great dread, if we should com e upon t hem , would m y part icular convict suppose t hat it was I who had brought t he soldiers t here? He had asked m e if I was a deceiving im p, and he had said I should be a fierce young hound if I j oined t he hunt against him . Would he believe t hat I was bot h im p and hound in t reacherous earnest , and had bet rayed him ? I t was of no use asking m yself t his quest ion now. There I was, on Joe's back, and t here was Joe beneat h m e, charging at t he dit ches like a hunt er, and st im ulat ing Mr. Wopsle not t o 46

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t um ble on his Rom an nose, and t o keep up wit h us. The soldiers were in front of us, ext ending int o a pret t y wide line wit h an int erval bet ween m an and m an. We were t aking t he course I had begun wit h, and from which I had diverged in t he m ist . Eit her t he m ist was not out again yet , or t he wind had dispelled it . Under t he low red glare of sunset , t he beacon, and t he gibbet , and t he m ound of t he Bat t ery, and t he opposit e shore of t he river, were plain, t hough all of a wat ery lead colour. Wit h m y heart t hum ping like a blacksm it h at Joe's broad shoulder, I looked all about for any sign of t he convict s. I could see none, I could hear none. Mr. Wopsle had great ly alarm ed m e m ore t han once, by his blowing and hard breat hing; but I knew t he sounds by t his t im e, and could dissociat e t hem from t he obj ect of pursuit . I got a dreadful st art , when I t hought I heard t he file st ill going; but it was only a sheep bell. The sheep st opped in t heir eat ing and looked t im idly at us; and t he cat t le, t heir heads t urned from t he wind and sleet , st ared angrily as if t hey held us responsible for bot h annoyances; but , except t hese t hings, and t he shudder of t he dying day in every blade of grass, t here was no break in t he bleak st illness of t he m arshes. The soldiers were m oving on in t he direct ion of t he old Bat t ery, and we were m oving on a lit t le way behind t hem , when, all of a sudden, we all st opped. For, t here had reached us on t he wings of t he wind and rain, a long shout . I t was repeat ed. I t was at a dist ance t owards t he east , but it was long and loud. Nay, t here seem ed t o be t wo or m ore shout s 47

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raised t oget her—if one m ight j udge from a confusion in t he sound. To t his effect t he sergeant and t he nearest m en were speaking under t heir breat h, when Joe and I cam e up. Aft er anot her m om ent 's list ening, Joe ( who was a good j udge) agreed, and Mr. Wopsle ( who was a bad j udge) agreed. The sergeant , a decisive m an, ordered t hat t he sound should not be answered, but t hat t he course should be changed, and t hat his m en should m ake t owards it “ at t he double.” So we slant ed t o t he right ( where t he East was) , and Joe pounded away so wonderfully, t hat I had t o hold on t ight t o keep m y seat . I t was a run indeed now, and what Joe called, in t he only t wo words he spoke all t he t im e, “ a Winder.” Down banks and up banks, and over gat es, and splashing int o dykes, and breaking am ong coarse rushes: no m an cared where he went . As we cam e nearer t o t he shout ing, it becam e m ore and m ore apparent t hat it was m ade by m ore t han one voice. Som et im es, it seem ed t o st op alt oget her, and t hen t he soldiers st opped. When it broke out again, t he soldiers m ade for it at a great er rat e t han ever, and we aft er t hem . Aft er a while, we had so run it down, t hat we could hear one voice calling “ Murder! ” and anot her voice, “ Convict s! Runaways! Guard! This way for t he runaway convict s! ” Then bot h voices would seem t o be st ifled in a st ruggle, and t hen would break out again. And when it had com e t o t his, t he soldiers ran like deer, and Joe t oo.

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The sergeant ran in first , when we had run t he noise quit e down, and t wo of his m en ran in close upon him . Their pieces were cocked and levelled when we all ran in. “ Here are bot h m en! ” pant ed t he sergeant , st ruggling at t he bot t om of a dit ch. “ Surrender, you t wo! and confound you for t wo wild beast s! Com e asunder! ” Wat er was splashing, and m ud was flying, and oat hs were being sworn, and blows were being st ruck, when som e m ore m en went down int o t he dit ch t o help t he sergeant , and dragged out , separat ely, m y convict and t he ot her one. Bot h were bleeding and pant ing and execrat ing and st ruggling; but of course I knew t hem bot h direct ly. “ Mind! ” said m y convict , wiping blood from his face wit h his ragged sleeves, and shaking t orn hair from his fingers: “ I t ook him ! I give him up t o you! Mind t hat ! ” “ I t 's not m uch t o be part icular about ,” said t he sergeant ; “ it 'll do you sm all good, m y m an, being in t he sam e plight yourself. Handcuffs t here! ” “ I don't expect it t o do m e any good. I don't want it t o do m e m ore good t han it does now,” said m y convict , wit h a greedy laugh. “ I t ook him . He knows it . That 's enough for m e.” The ot her convict was livid t o look at , and, in addit ion t o t he old bruised left side of his face, seem ed t o be bruised and t orn all over. He could not so m uch as get his breat h t o speak, unt il t hey were bot h separat ely handcuffed, but leaned upon a soldier t o keep him self from falling. “ Take not ice, guard—he t ried t o m urder m e,” were his first words. 49

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“ Tried t o m urder him ?” said m y convict , disdainfully. “ Try, and not do it ? I t ook him , and giv’ him up; t hat 's what I done. I not only prevent ed him get t ing off t he m arshes, but I dragged him here—dragged him t his far on his way back. He's a gent lem an, if you please, t his villain. Now, t he Hulks has got it s gent lem an again, t hrough m e. Murder him ? Wort h m y while, t oo, t o m urder him , when I could do worse and drag him back! ” The ot her one st ill gasped, “ He t ried—he t ried—t o—m urder m e. Bear—bear wit ness.” “ Lookee here! ” said m y convict t o t he sergeant . “ Singlehanded I got clear of t he prison- ship; I m ade a dash and I done it . I could ha’ got clear of t hese deat h- cold flat s likewise—look at m y leg: you won't find m uch iron on it —if I hadn't m ade t he discovery t hat he was here. Let him go free? Let him profit by t he m eans as I found out ? Let him m ake a t ool of m e afresh and again? Once m ore? No, no, no. I f I had died at t he bot t om t here; ” and he m ade an em phat ic swing at t he dit ch wit h his m anacled hands; “ I 'd have held t o him wit h t hat grip, t hat you should have been safe t o find him in m y hold.” The ot her fugit ive, who was evident ly in ext rem e horror of his com panion, repeat ed, “ He t ried t o m urder m e. I should have been a dead m an if you had not com e up.” “ He lies! ” said m y convict , wit h fierce energy. “ He's a liar born, and he'll die a liar. Look at his face; ain't it writ t en t here? Let him t urn t hose eyes of his on m e. I defy him t o do it .” 50

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The ot her, wit h an effort at a scornful sm ile—which could not , however, collect t he nervous working of his m out h int o any set expression—looked at t he soldiers, and looked about at t he m arshes and at t he sky, but cert ainly did not look at t he speaker. “ Do you see him ?” pursued m y convict . “ Do you see what a villain he is? Do you see t hose grovelling and wandering eyes? That 's how he looked when we were t ried t oget her. He never looked at m e.” The ot her, always working and working his dry lips and t urning his eyes rest lessly about him far and near, did at last t urn t hem for a m om ent on t he speaker, wit h t he words, “ You are not m uch t o look at ,” and wit h a half- t aunt ing glance at t he bound hands. At t hat point , m y convict becam e so frant ically exasperat ed, t hat he would have rushed upon him but for t he int erposit ion of t he soldiers. “ Didn't I t ell you,” said t he ot her convict t hen, “ t hat he would m urder m e, if he could?” And any one could see t hat he shook wit h fear, and t hat t here broke out upon his lips, curious whit e flakes, like t hin snow. “ Enough of t his parley,” said t he sergeant . “ Light t hose t orches.” As one of t he soldiers, who carried a basket in lieu of a gun, went down on his knee t o open it , m y convict looked round him for t he first t im e, and saw m e. I had alight ed from Joe's back on t he brink of t he dit ch when we cam e up, and had not m oved since. I looked at him eagerly when he looked at m e, and slight ly m oved m y hands and shook m y head. I had been wait ing for him t o see m e, t hat I m ight t ry t o assure 51

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him of m y innocence. I t was not at all expressed t o m e t hat he even com prehended m y int ent ion, for he gave m e a look t hat I did not underst and, and it all passed in a m om ent . But if he had looked at m e for an hour or for a day, I could not have rem em bered his face ever aft erwards, as having been m ore at t ent ive. The soldier wit h t he basket soon got a light , and light ed t hree or four t orches, and t ook one him self and dist ribut ed t he ot hers. I t had been alm ost dark before, but now it seem ed quit e dark, and soon aft erwards very dark. Before we depart ed from t hat spot , four soldiers st anding in a ring, fired t wice int o t he air. Present ly we saw ot her t orches kindled at som e dist ance behind us, and ot hers on t he m arshes on t he opposit e bank of t he river. “ All right ,” said t he sergeant . “ March.” We had not gone far when t hree cannon were fired ahead of us wit h a sound t hat seem ed t o burst som et hing inside m y ear. “ You are expect ed on board,” said t he sergeant t o m y convict ; “ t hey know you are com ing. Don't st raggle, m y m an. Close up here.” The t wo were kept apart , and each walked surrounded by a separat e guard. I had hold of Joe's hand now, and Joe carried one of t he t orches. Mr. Wopsle had been for going back, but Joe was resolved t o see it out , so we went on wit h t he part y. There was a reasonably good pat h now, m ost ly on t he edge of t he river, wit h a divergence here and t here where a dyke cam e, wit h a m iniat ure windm ill on it and a m uddy sluice- gat e. When I looked round, I could see t he ot her light s com ing in aft er us. The t orches we carried, dropped great 52

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blot ches of fire upon t he t rack, and I could see t hose, t oo, lying sm oking and flaring. I could see not hing else but black darkness. Our light s warm ed t he air about us wit h t heir pit chy blaze, and t he t wo prisoners seem ed rat her t o like t hat , as t hey lim ped along in t he m idst of t he m usket s. We could not go fast , because of t heir lam eness; and t hey were so spent , t hat t wo or t hree t im es we had t o halt while t hey rest ed. Aft er an hour or so of t his t ravelling, we cam e t o a rough wooden hut and a landing- place. There was a guard in t he hut , and t hey challenged, and t he sergeant answered. Then, we went int o t he hut where t here was a sm ell of t obacco and whit ewash, and a bright fire, and a lam p, and a st and of m usket s, and a drum , and a low wooden bedst ead, like an overgrown m angle wit hout t he m achinery, capable of holding about a dozen soldiers all at once. Three or four soldiers who lay upon it in t heir great - coat s, were not m uch int erest ed in us, but j ust lift ed t heir heads and t ook a sleepy st are, and t hen lay down again. The sergeant m ade som e kind of report , and som e ent ry in a book, and t hen t he convict whom I call t he ot her convict was draft ed off wit h his guard, t o go on board first . My convict never looked at m e, except t hat once. While we st ood in t he hut , he st ood before t he fire looking t hought fully at it , or put t ing up his feet by t urns upon t he hob, and looking t hought fully at t hem as if he pit ied t hem for t heir recent advent ures. Suddenly, he t urned t o t he sergeant , and rem arked: “ I wish t o say som et hing respect ing t his escape. I t m ay prevent som e persons laying under suspicion alonger m e.” 53

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“ You can say what you like,” ret urned t he sergeant , st anding coolly looking at him wit h his arm s folded, “ but you have no call t o say it here. You'll have opport unit y enough t o say about it , and hear about it , before it 's done wit h, you know.” “ I know, but t his is anot her pint , a separat e m at t er. A m an can't st arve; at least I can't . I t ook som e wit t les, up at t he willage over yonder—where t he church st ands a'm ost out on t he m arshes.” “ You m ean st ole,” said t he sergeant . “ And I 'll t ell you where from . From t he blacksm it h's.” “ Halloa! ” said t he sergeant , st aring at Joe. “ Halloa, Pip! ” said Joe, st aring at m e. “ I t was som e broken wit t les—t hat 's what it was—and a dram of liquor, and a pie.” “ Have you happened t o m iss such an art icle as a pie, blacksm it h?” asked t he sergeant , confident ially. “ My wife did, at t he very m om ent when you cam e in. Don't you know, Pip?” “ So,” said m y convict , t urning his eyes on Joe in a m oody m anner, and wit hout t he least glance at m e; “ so you're t he blacksm it h, are you? Than I 'm sorry t o say, I 've eat your pie.” “ God knows you're welcom e t o it —so far as it was ever m ine,” ret urned Joe, wit h a saving rem em brance of Mrs. Joe. “ We don't know what you have done, but we wouldn't have you st arved t o deat h for it , poor m iserable fellow- creat ur.— Would us, Pip?” The som et hing t hat I had not iced before, clicked in t he m an's t hroat again, and he t urned his back. The boat had 54

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ret urned, and his guard were ready, so we followed him t o t he landing- place m ade of rough st akes and st ones, and saw him put int o t he boat , which was rowed by a crew of convict s like him self. No one seem ed surprised t o see him , or int erest ed in seeing him , or glad t o see him , or sorry t o see him , or spoke a word, except t hat som ebody in t he boat growled as if t o dogs, “ Give way, you! ” which was t he signal for t he dip of t he oars. By t he light of t he t orches, we saw t he black Hulk lying out a lit t le way from t he m ud of t he shore, like a wicked Noah's ark. Cribbed and barred and m oored by m assive rust y chains, t he prison- ship seem ed in m y young eyes t o be ironed like t he prisoners. We saw t he boat go alongside, and we saw him t aken up t he side and disappear. Then, t he ends of t he t orches were flung hissing int o t he wat er, and went out , as if it were all over wit h him .

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Chapt er 6 My st at e of m ind regarding t he pilfering from which I had been so unexpect edly exonerat ed, did not im pel m e t o frank disclosure; but I hope it had som e dregs of good at t he bot t om of it . I do not recall t hat I felt any t enderness of conscience in reference t o Mrs. Joe, when t he fear of being found out was lift ed off m e. But I loved Joe—perhaps for no bet t er reason in t hose early days t han because t he dear fellow let m e love him —and, as t o him , m y inner self was not so easily com posed. I t was m uch upon m y m ind ( part icularly when I first saw him looking about for his file) t hat I ought t o t ell Joe t he whole t rut h. Yet I did not , and for t he reason t hat I m ist rust ed t hat if I did, he would t hink m e worse t han I was. The fear of losing Joe's confidence, and of t hencefort h sit t ing in t he chim ney- corner at night st aring drearily at m y for ever lost com panion and friend, t ied up m y t ongue. I m orbidly represent ed t o m yself t hat if Joe knew it , I never aft erwards could see him at t he fireside feeling his fair whisker, wit hout t hinking t hat he was m edit at ing on it . That , if Joe knew it , I never aft erwards could see him glance, however casually, at yest erday's m eat or pudding when it cam e on t o- day's t able, wit hout t hinking t hat he was debat ing whet her I had been in t he pant ry. That , if Joe knew it , and at any subsequent period of our j oint dom est ic life rem arked t hat his beer was flat or t hick, t he convict ion t hat he suspect ed Tar in it , would bring a rush of blood t o m y face. I n a word, I was t oo cowardly t o do 56

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what I knew t o be right , as I had been t oo cowardly t o avoid doing what I knew t o be wrong. I had had no int ercourse wit h t he world at t hat t im e, and I im it at ed none of it s m any inhabit ant s who act in t his m anner. Quit e an unt aught genius, I m ade t he discovery of t he line of act ion for m yself. As I was sleepy before we were far away from t he prisonship, Joe t ook m e on his back again and carried m e hom e. He m ust have had a t iresom e j ourney of it , for Mr. Wopsle, being knocked up, was in such a very bad t em per t hat if t he Church had been t hrown open, he would probably have excom m unicat ed t he whole expedit ion, beginning wit h Joe and m yself. I n his lay capacit y, he persist ed in sit t ing down in t he dam p t o such an insane ext ent , t hat when his coat was t aken off t o be dried at t he kit chen fire, t he circum st ant ial evidence on his t rousers would have hanged him if it had been a capit al offence. By t hat t im e, I was st aggering on t he kit chen floor like a lit t le drunkard, t hrough having been newly set upon m y feet , and t hrough having been fast asleep, and t hrough waking in t he heat and light s and noise of t ongues. As I cam e t o m yself ( wit h t he aid of a heavy t hum p bet ween t he shoulders, and t he rest orat ive exclam at ion “ Yah! Was t here ever such a boy as t his! ” from m y sist er) , I found Joe t elling t hem about t he convict 's confession, and all t he visit ors suggest ing different ways by which he had got int o t he pant ry. Mr. Pum blechook m ade out , aft er carefully surveying t he prem ises, t hat he had first got upon t he roof of t he forge, and had t hen got upon t he roof of t he house, and had t hen let him self down t he kit chen chim ney by a rope m ade of his bedding cut int o 57

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st rips; and as Mr. Pum blechook was very posit ive and drove his own chaise- cart —over everybody—it was agreed t hat it m ust be so. Mr. Wopsle, indeed, wildly cried out “ No! ” wit h t he feeble m alice of a t ired m an; but , as he had no t heory, and no coat on, he was unanim ously set at nought —not t o m ent ion his sm oking hard behind, as he st ood wit h his back t o t he kit chen fire t o draw t he dam p out : which was not calculat ed t o inspire confidence. This was all I heard t hat night before m y sist er clut ched m e, as a slum berous offence t o t he com pany's eyesight , and assist ed m e up t o bed wit h such a st rong hand t hat I seem ed t o have fift y boot s on, and t o be dangling t hem all against t he edges of t he st airs. My st at e of m ind, as I have described it , began before I was up in t he m orning, and last ed long aft er t he subj ect had died out , and had ceased t o be m ent ioned saving on except ional occasions.

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Chapt er 7 At t he t im e when I st ood in t he churchyard, reading t he fam ily t om bst ones, I had j ust enough learning t o be able t o spell t hem out . My const ruct ion even of t heir sim ple m eaning was not very correct , for I read “ wife of t he Above” as a com plim ent ary reference t o m y fat her's exalt at ion t o a bet t er world; and if any one of m y deceased relat ions had been referred t o as “ Below,” I have no doubt I should have form ed t he worst opinions of t hat m em ber of t he fam ily. Neit her, were m y not ions of t he t heological posit ions t o which m y Cat echism bound m e, at all accurat e; for, I have a lively rem em brance t hat I supposed m y declarat ion t hat I was t o “ walk in t he sam e all t he days of m y life,” laid m e under an obligat ion always t o go t hrough t he village from our house in one part icular direct ion, and never t o vary it by t urning down by t he wheelwright 's or up by t he m ill. When I was old enough, I was t o be apprent iced t o Joe, and unt il I could assum e t hat dignit y I was not t o be what Mrs. Joe called “ Pom peyed,” or ( as I render it ) pam pered. Therefore, I was not only odd- boy about t he forge, but if any neighbour happened t o want an ext ra boy t o fright en birds, or pick up st ones, or do any such j ob, I was favoured wit h t he em ploym ent . I n order, however, t hat our superior posit ion m ight not be com prom ised t hereby, a m oney- box was kept on t he kit chen m ant el- shelf, in t o which it was publicly m ade known t hat all m y earnings were dropped. I have an im pression t hat t hey were t o be cont ribut ed event ually 59

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t owards t he liquidat ion of t he Nat ional Debt , but I know I had no hope of any personal part icipat ion in t he t reasure. Mr. Wopsle's great - aunt kept an evening school in t he village; t hat is t o say, she was a ridiculous old wom an of lim it ed m eans and unlim it ed infirm it y, who used t o go t o sleep from six t o seven every evening, in t he societ y of yout h who paid t wopence per week each, for t he im proving opport unit y of seeing her do it . She rent ed a sm all cot t age, and Mr. Wopsle had t he room up- st airs, where we st udent s used t o overhear him reading aloud in a m ost dignified and t errific m anner, and occasionally bum ping on t he ceiling. There was a fict ion t hat Mr. Wopsle “ exam ined” t he scholars, once a quart er. What he did on t hose occasions was t o t urn up his cuffs, st ick up his hair, and give us Mark Ant ony's orat ion over t he body of Caesar. This was always followed by Collins's Ode on t he Passions, wherein I part icularly venerat ed Mr. Wopsle as Revenge, t hrowing his blood- st ained sword in t hunder down, and t aking t he War- denouncing t rum pet wit h a wit hering look. I t was not wit h m e t hen, as it was in lat er life, when I fell int o t he societ y of t he Passions, and com pared t hem wit h Collins and Wopsle, rat her t o t he disadvant age of bot h gent lem en. Mr. Wopsle's great - aunt , besides keeping t his Educat ional I nst it ut ion, kept —in t he sam e room —a lit t le general shop. She had no idea what st ock she had, or what t he price of anyt hing in it was; but t here was a lit t le greasy m em orandum - book kept in a drawer, which served as a Cat alogue of Prices, and by t his oracle Biddy arranged all t he shop t ransact ion. Biddy was Mr. Wopsle's great - aunt 's 60

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granddaught er; I confess m yself quiet unequal t o t he working out of t he problem , what relat ion she was t o Mr. Wopsle. She was an orphan like m yself; like m e, t oo, had been brought up by hand. She was m ost not iceable, I t hought , in respect of her ext rem it ies; for, her hair always want ed brushing, her hands always want ed washing, and her shoes always want ed m ending and pulling up at heel. This descript ion m ust be received wit h a week- day lim it at ion. On Sundays, she went t o church elaborat ed. Much of m y unassist ed self, and m ore by t he help of Biddy t han of Mr. Wopsle's great - aunt , I st ruggled t hrough t he alphabet as if it had been a bram ble- bush; get t ing considerably worried and scrat ched by every let t er. Aft er t hat , I fell am ong t hose t hieves, t he nine figures, who seem ed every evening t o do som et hing new t o disguise t hem selves and baffle recognit ion. But , at last I began, in a purblind groping way, t o read, writ e, and cipher, on t he very sm allest scale. One night , I was sit t ing in t he chim ney- corner wit h m y slat e, expending great effort s on t he product ion of a let t er t o Joe. I t hink it m ust have been a fully year aft er our hunt upon t he m arshes, for it was a long t im e aft er, and it was wint er and a hard frost . Wit h an alphabet on t he heart h at m y feet for reference, I cont rived in an hour or t wo t o print and sm ear t his epist le: “ MI DEER JO i OPE U R KR WI TE WELL i OPE i SHAL SON B HABELL 4 2 TEEDGE U JO AN THEN WE SHORL B SO GLODD AN WEN i M PRENGTD 2 U JO WOT LARX AN BLEVE ME I NF XN PI P.” 61

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There was no indispensable necessit y for m y com m unicat ing wit h Joe by let t er, inasm uch as he sat beside m e and we were alone. But , I delivered t his writ t en com m unicat ion ( slat e and all) wit h m y own hand, and Joe received it as a m iracle of erudit ion. “ I say, Pip, old chap! ” cried Joe, opening his blue eyes wide, “ what a scholar you are! An't you?” “ I should like t o be,” said I , glancing at t he slat e as he held it : wit h a m isgiving t hat t he writ ing was rat her hilly. “ Why, here's a J,” said Joe, “ and a O equal t o anyt hink! Here's a J and a O, Pip, and a J- O, Joe.” I had never heard Joe read aloud t o any great er ext ent t han t his m onosyllable, and I had observed at church last Sunday when I accident ally held our Prayer- Book upside down, t hat it seem ed t o suit his convenience quit e as well as if it had been all right . Wishing t o em brace t he present occasion of finding out whet her in t eaching Joe, I should have t o begin quit e at t he beginning, I said, “ Ah! But read t he rest , Jo.” “ The rest , eh, Pip?” said Joe, looking at it wit h a slowly searching eye, “ One, t wo, t hree. Why, here's t hree Js, and t hree Os, and t hree J- O, Joes in it , Pip! ” I leaned over Joe, and, wit h t he aid of m y forefinger, read him t he whole let t er. “ Ast onishing! ” said Joe, when I had finished. “ You ARE a scholar.” “ How do you spell Gargery, Joe?” I asked him , wit h a m odest pat ronage. “ I don't spell it at all,” said Joe. 62

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“ But supposing you did?” “ I t can't be supposed,” said Joe. “ Tho’ I 'm oncom m on fond of reading, t oo.” “ Are you, Joe?” “ On- com m on. Give m e,” said Joe, “ a good book, or a good newspaper, and sit m e down afore a good fire, and I ask no bet t er. Lord! ” he cont inued, aft er rubbing his knees a lit t le, “ when you do com e t o a J and a O, and says you, “ Here, at last , is a J- O, Joe,” how int erest ing reading is! ” I derived from t his last , t hat Joe's educat ion, like St eam , was yet in it s infancy, Pursuing t he subj ect , I inquired: “ Didn't you ever go t o school, Joe, when you were as lit t le as m e?” “ No, Pip.” “ Why didn't you ever go t o school, Joe, when you were as lit t le as m e?” “ Well, Pip,” said Joe, t aking up t he poker, and set t ling him self t o his usual occupat ion when he was t hought ful, of slowly raking t he fire bet ween t he lower bars: “ I 'll t ell you. My fat her, Pip, he were given t o drink, and when he were overt ook wit h drink, he ham m ered away at m y m ot her, m ost onm erciful. I t were a'm ost t he only ham m ering he did, indeed, ‘xcept ing at m yself. And he ham m ered at m e wit h a wigour only t o be equalled by t he wigour wit h which he didn't ham m er at his anwil.—You're a- list ening and underst anding, Pip?” “ Yes, Joe.” “ ‘Consequence, m y m ot her and m e we ran away from m y fat her, several t im es; and t hen m y m ot her she'd go out t o 63

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work, and she'd say, “ Joe,” she'd say, “ now, please God, you shall have som e schooling, child,” and she'd put m e t o school. But m y fat her were t hat good in his hart t hat he couldn't abear t o be wit hout us. So, he'd com e wit h a m ost t rem enj ous crowd and m ake such a row at t he doors of t he houses where we was, t hat t hey used t o be obligat ed t o have no m ore t o do wit h us and t o give us up t o him . And t hen he t ook us hom e and ham m ered us. Which, you see, Pip,” said Joe, pausing in his m edit at ive raking of t he fire, and looking at m e, “ were a drawback on m y learning.” “ Cert ainly, poor Joe! ” “ Though m ind you, Pip,” said Joe, wit h a j udicial t ouch or t wo of t he poker on t he t op bar, “ rendering unt o all t heir doo, and m aint aining equal j ust ice bet wixt m an and m an, m y fat her were t hat good in his hart , don't you see?” I didn't see; but I didn't say so. “ Well! ” Joe pursued, “ som ebody m ust keep t he pot a biling, Pip, or t he pot won't bile, don't you know?” I saw t hat , and said so. “ ‘Consequence, m y fat her didn't m ake obj ect ions t o m y going t o work; so I went t o work t o work at m y present calling, which were his t oo, if he would have followed it , and I worked t olerable hard, I assure you, Pip. I n t im e I were able t o keep him , and I kept him t ill he went off in a purple lept ic fit . And it were m y int ent ions t o have had put upon his t om bst one t hat What sum e'er t he failings on his part , Rem em ber reader he were t hat good in his hart .”

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Joe recit ed t his couplet wit h such m anifest pride and careful perspicuit y, t hat I asked him if he had m ade it him self. “ I m ade it ,” said Joe, “ m y own self. I m ade it in a m om ent . I t was like st riking out a horseshoe com plet e, in a single blow. I never was so m uch surprised in all m y life—couldn't credit m y own ed—t o t ell you t he t rut h, hardly believed it were m y own ed. As I was saying, Pip, it were m y int ent ions t o have had it cut over him ; but poet ry cost s m oney, cut it how you will, sm all or large, and it were not done. Not t o m ent ion bearers, all t he m oney t hat could be spared were want ed for m y m ot her. She were in poor elt h, and quit e broke. She weren't long of following, poor soul, and her share of peace com e round at last .” Joe's blue eyes t urned a lit t le wat ery; he rubbed, first one of t hem , and t hen t he ot her, in a m ost uncongenial and uncom fort able m anner, wit h t he round knob on t he t op of t he poker. “ I t were but lonesom e t hen,” said Joe, “ living here alone, and I got acquaint ed wit h your sist er. Now, Pip; ” Joe looked firm ly at m e, as if he knew I was not going t o agree wit h him ; “ your sist er is a fine figure of a wom an.” I could not help looking at t he fire, in an obvious st at e of doubt . “ What ever fam ily opinions, or what ever t he world's opinions, on t hat subj ect m ay be, Pip, your sist er is,” Joe t apped t he t op bar wit h t he poker aft er every word following, “ a—fine—figure—of—a—wom an! ” 65

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I could t hink of not hing bet t er t o say t han “ I am glad you t hink so, Joe.” “ So am I ,” ret urned Joe, cat ching m e up. “ I am glad I t hink so, Pip. A lit t le redness or a lit t le m at t er of Bone, here or t here, what does it signify t o Me?” I sagaciously observed, if it didn't signify t o him , t o whom did it signify? “ Cert ainly! ” assent ed Joe. “ That 's it . You're right , old chap! When I got acquaint ed wit h your sist er, it were t he t alk how she was bringing you up by hand. Very kind of her t oo, all t he folks said, and I said, along wit h all t he folks. As t o you,” Joe pursued wit h a count enance expressive of seeing som et hing very nast y indeed: “ if you could have been aware how sm all and flabby and m ean you was, dear m e, you'd have form ed t he m ost cont em pt ible opinion of yourself! ” Not exact ly relishing t his, I said, “ Never m ind m e, Joe.” “ But I did m ind you, Pip,” he ret urned wit h t ender sim plicit y. “ When I offered t o your sist er t o keep com pany, and t o be asked in church at such t im es as she was willing and ready t o com e t o t he forge, I said t o her, ‘And bring t he poor lit t le child. God bless t he poor lit t le child,’ I said t o your sist er, ‘t here's room for him at t he forge! '” I broke out crying and begging pardon, and hugged Joe round t he neck: who dropped t he poker t o hug m e, and t o say, “ Ever t he best of friends; an't us, Pip? Don't cry, old chap! ” When t his lit t le int errupt ion was over, Joe resum ed: “ Well, you see, Pip, and here we are! That 's about where it light s; here we are! Now, when you t ake m e in hand in m y 66

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learning, Pip ( and I t ell you beforehand I am awful dull, m ost awful dull) , Mrs. Joe m ust n't see t oo m uch of what we're up t o. I t m ust be done, as I m ay say, on t he sly. And why on t he sly? I 'll t ell you why, Pip.” He had t aken up t he poker again; wit hout which, I doubt if he could have proceeded in his dem onst rat ion. “ Your sist er is given t o governm ent .” “ Given t o governm ent , Joe?” I was st art led, for I had som e shadowy idea ( and I am afraid I m ust add, hope) t hat Joe had divorced her in a favour of t he Lords of t he Adm iralt y, or Treasury. “ Given t o governm ent ,” said Joe. “ Which I m eant ersay t he governm ent of you and m yself.” “ Oh! ” “ And she an't over part ial t o having scholars on t he prem ises,” Joe cont inued, “ and in part ickler would not be over part ial t o m y being a scholar, for fear as I m ight rise. Like a sort or rebel, don't you see?” I was going t o ret ort wit h an inquiry, and had got as far as “ Why—” when Joe st opped m e. “ St ay a bit . I know what you're a- going t o say, Pip; st ay a bit ! I don't deny t hat your sist er com es t he Mo- gul over us, now and again. I don't deny t hat she do t hrow us back- falls, and t hat she do drop down upon us heavy. At such t im es as when your sist er is on t he Ram - page, Pip,” Joe sank his voice t o a whisper and glanced at t he door, “ candour com pels fur t o adm it t hat she is a Bust er.” Joe pronounced t his word, as if it began wit h at least t welve capit al Bs. 67

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“ Why don't I rise? That were your observat ion when I broke it off, Pip?” “ Yes, Joe.” “ Well,” said Joe, passing t he poker int o his left hand, t hat he m ight feel his whisker; and I had no hope of him whenever he t ook t o t hat placid occupat ion; “ your sist er's a m ast erm ind. A m ast er- m ind.” “ What 's t hat ?” I asked, in som e hope of bringing him t o a st and. But , Joe was readier wit h his definit ion t han I had expect ed, and com plet ely st opped m e by arguing circularly, and answering wit h a fixed look, “ Her.” “ And I an't a m ast er- m ind,” Joe resum ed, when he had unfixed his look, and got back t o his whisker. “ And last of all, Pip—and t his I want t o say very serious t o you, old chap—I see so m uch in m y poor m ot her, of a wom an drudging and slaving and breaking her honest hart and never get t ing no peace in her m ort al days, t hat I 'm dead afeerd of going wrong in t he way of not doing what 's right by a wom an, and I 'd fur rat her of t he t wo go wrong t he t 'ot her way, and be a lit t le illconwenienced m yself. I wish it was only m e t hat got put out , Pip; I wish t here warn't no Tickler for you, old chap; I wish I could t ake it all on m yself; but t his is t he up- and- down- andst raight on it , Pip, and I hope you'll overlook short com ings.” Young as I was, I believe t hat I dat ed a new adm irat ion of Joe from t hat night . We were equals aft erwards, as we had been before; but , aft erwards at quiet t im es when I sat looking at Joe and t hinking about him , I had a new sensat ion of feeling conscious t hat I was looking up t o Joe in m y heart . 68

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“ However,” said Joe, rising t o replenish t he fire; “ here's t he Dut ch- clock a working him self up t o being equal t o st rike Eight of ‘em , and she's not com e hom e yet ! I hope Uncle Pum blechook's m are m ayn't have set a fore- foot on a piece o’ ice, and gone down.” Mrs. Joe m ade occasional t rips wit h Uncle Pum blechook on m arket - days, t o assist him in buying such household st uffs and goods as required a wom an's j udgm ent ; Uncle Pum blechook being a bachelor and reposing no confidences in his dom est ic servant . This was m arket - day, and Mrs. Joe was out on one of t hese expedit ions. Joe m ade t he fire and swept t he heart h, and t hen we went t o t he door t o list en for t he chaise- cart . I t was a dry cold night , and t he wind blew keenly, and t he frost was whit e and hard. A m an would die t o- night of lying out on t he m arshes, I t hought . And t hen I looked at t he st ars, and considered how awful if would be for a m an t o t urn his face up t o t hem as he froze t o deat h, and see no help or pit y in all t he glit t ering m ult it ude. “ Here com es t he m are,” said Joe, “ ringing like a peal of bells! ” The sound of her iron shoes upon t he hard road was quit e m usical, as she cam e along at a m uch brisker t rot t han usual. We got a chair out , ready for Mrs. Joe's alight ing, and st irred up t he fire t hat t hey m ight see a bright window, and t ook a final survey of t he kit chen t hat not hing m ight be out of it s place. When we had com plet ed t hese preparat ions, t hey drove up, wrapped t o t he eyes. Mrs. Joe was soon landed, and Uncle Pum blechook was soon down t oo, covering t he 69

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m are wit h a clot h, and we were soon all in t he kit chen, carrying so m uch cold air in wit h us t hat it seem ed t o drive all t he heat out of t he fire. “ Now,” said Mrs. Joe, unwrapping herself wit h hast e and excit em ent , and t hrowing her bonnet back on her shoulders where it hung by t he st rings: “ if t his boy an't grat eful t his night , he never will be! ” I looked as grat eful as any boy possibly could, who was wholly uninform ed why he ought t o assum e t hat expression. “ I t 's only t o be hoped,” said m y sist er, “ t hat he won't be Pom p- eyed. But I have m y fears.” “ She an't in t hat line, Mum ,” said Mr. Pum blechook. “ She knows bet t er.” She? I looked at Joe, m aking t he m ot ion wit h m y lips and eyebrows, “ She?” Joe looked at m e, m aking t he m ot ion wit h his lips and eyebrows, “ She?” My sist er cat ching him in t he act , he drew t he back of his hand across his nose wit h his usual conciliat ory air on such occasions, and looked at her. “ Well?” said m y sist er, in her snappish way. “ What are you st aring at ? I s t he house a- fire?” “ —Which som e individual,” Joe polit ely hint ed, “ m ent ioned—she.” “ And she is a she, I suppose?” said m y sist er. “ Unless you call Miss Havisham a he. And I doubt if even you'll go so far as t hat .” “ Miss Havisham , up t own?” said Joe. “ I s t here any Miss Havisham down t own?” ret urned m y sist er. 70

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“ She want s t his boy t o go and play t here. And of course he's going. And he had bet t er play t here,” said m y sist er, shaking her head at m e as an encouragem ent t o be ext rem ely light and sport ive, “ or I 'll work him .” I had heard of Miss Havisham up t own—everybody for m iles round, had heard of Miss Havisham up t own—as an im m ensely rich and grim lady who lived in a large and dism al house barricaded against robbers, and who led a life of seclusion. “ Well t o be sure! ” said Joe, ast ounded. “ I wonder how she com e t o know Pip! ” “ Noodle! ” cried m y sist er. “ Who said she knew him ?” “ —Which som e individual,” Joe again polit ely hint ed, “ m ent ioned t hat she want ed him t o go and play t here.” “ And couldn't she ask Uncle Pum blechook if he knew of a boy t o go and play t here? I sn't it j ust barely possible t hat Uncle Pum blechook m ay be a t enant of hers, and t hat he m ay som et im es—we won't say quart erly or half- yearly, for t hat would be requiring t oo m uch of you—but som et im es—go t here t o pay his rent ? And couldn't she t hen ask Uncle Pum blechook if he knew of a boy t o go and play t here? And couldn't Uncle Pum blechook, being always considerat e and t hought ful for us—t hough you m ay not t hink it , Joseph,” in a t one of t he deepest reproach, as if he were t he m ost callous of nephews, “ t hen m ent ion t his boy, st anding Prancing here" —which I solem nly declare I was not doing—" t hat I have for ever been a willing slave t o?” “ Good again! ” cried Uncle Pum blechook. “ Well put ! Pret t ily point ed! Good indeed! Now Joseph, you know t he case.” 71

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“ No, Joseph,” said m y sist er, st ill in a reproachful m anner, while Joe apologet ically drew t he back of his hand across and across his nose, “ you do not yet —t hough you m ay not t hink it —know t he case. You m ay consider t hat you do, but you do not , Joseph. For you do not know t hat Uncle Pum blechook, being sensible t hat for anyt hing we can t ell, t his boy's fort une m ay be m ade by his going t o Miss Havisham 's, has offered t o t ake him int o t own t o- night in his own chaise- cart , and t o keep him t o- night , and t o t ake him wit h his own hands t o Miss Havisham 's t o- m orrow m orning. And Lor- a- m ussy m e! ” cried m y sist er, cast ing off her bonnet in sudden desperat ion, “ here I st and t alking t o m ere Mooncalfs, wit h Uncle Pum blechook wait ing, and t he m are cat ching cold at t he door, and t he boy grim ed wit h crock and dirt from t he hair of his head t o t he sole of his foot ! ” Wit h t hat , she pounced upon m e, like an eagle on a lam b, and m y face was squeezed int o wooden bowls in sinks, and m y head was put under t aps of wat er- but t s, and I was soaped, and kneaded, and t owelled, and t hum ped, and harrowed, and rasped, unt il I really was quit e beside m yself. ( I m ay here rem ark t hat I suppose m yself t o be bet t er acquaint ed t han any living aut horit y, wit h t he ridgy effect of a wedding- ring, passing unsym pat het ically over t he hum an count enance.) When m y ablut ions were com plet ed, I was put int o clean linen of t he st iffest charact er, like a young penit ent int o sackclot h, and was t russed up in m y t ight est and fearfullest suit . I was t hen delivered over t o Mr. Pum blechook, who form ally received m e as if he were t he Sheriff, and who let off 72

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upon m e t he speech t hat I knew he had been dying t o m ake all along: “ Boy, be for ever grat eful t o all friends, but especially unt o t hem which brought you up by hand! ” “ Good- bye, Joe! ” “ God bless you, Pip, old chap! ” I had never part ed from him before, and what wit h m y feelings and what wit h soap- suds, I could at first see no st ars from t he chaise- cart . But t hey t winkled out one by one, wit hout t hrowing any light on t he quest ions why on eart h I was going t o play at Miss Havisham 's, and what on eart h I was expect ed t o play at .

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Chapt er 8 Mr. Pum blechook's prem ises in t he High- st reet of t he m arket t own, were of a peppercorny and farinaceous charact er, as t he prem ises of a corn- chandler and seedsm an should be. I t appeared t o m e t hat he m ust be a very happy m an indeed, t o have so m any lit t le drawers in his shop; and I wondered when I peeped int o one or t wo on t he lower t iers, and saw t he t ied- up brown paper packet s inside, whet her t he flower- seeds and bulbs ever want ed of a fine day t o break out of t hose j ails, and bloom . I t was in t he early m orning aft er m y arrival t hat I ent ert ained t his speculat ion. On t he previous night , I had been sent st raight t o bed in an at t ic wit h a sloping roof, which was so low in t he corner where t he bedst ead was, t hat I calculat ed t he t iles as being wit hin a foot of m y eyebrows. I n t he sam e early m orning, I discovered a singular affinit y bet ween seeds and corduroys. Mr. Pum blechook wore corduroys, and so did his shopm an; and som ehow, t here was a general air and flavour about t he corduroys, so m uch in t he nat ure of seeds, and a general air and flavour about t he seeds, so m uch in t he nat ure of corduroys, t hat I hardly knew which was which. The sam e opport unit y served m e for not icing t hat Mr. Pum blechook appeared t o conduct his business by looking across t he st reet at t he saddler, who appeared t o t ransact his business by keeping his eye on t he coach- m aker, who appeared t o get on in life by put t ing his hands in his pocket s and cont em plat ing t he baker, who in his 74

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t urn folded his arm s and st ared at t he grocer, who st ood at his door and yawned at t he chem ist . The wat ch- m aker, always poring over a lit t le desk wit h a m agnifying glass at his eye, and always inspect ed by a group of sm ock- frocks poring over him t hrough t he glass of his shop- window, seem ed t o be about t he only person in t he High- st reet whose t rade engaged his at t ent ion. Mr. Pum blechook and I breakfast ed at eight o'clock in t he parlour behind t he shop, while t he shopm an t ook his m ug of t ea and hunch of bread- and- but t er on a sack of peas in t he front prem ises. I considered Mr. Pum blechook wret ched com pany. Besides being possessed by m y sist er's idea t hat a m ort ifying and penit ent ial charact er ought t o be im part ed t o m y diet —besides giving m e as m uch crum b as possible in com binat ion wit h as lit t le but t er, and put t ing such a quant it y of warm wat er int o m y m ilk t hat it would have been m ore candid t o have left t he m ilk out alt oget her—his conversat ion consist ed of not hing but arit hm et ic. On m y polit ely bidding him Good m orning, he said, pom pously, “ Seven t im es nine, boy?” And how should I be able t o answer, dodged in t hat way, in a st range place, on an em pt y st om ach! I was hungry, but before I had swallowed a m orsel, he began a running sum t hat last ed all t hrough t he breakfast . “ Seven?” “ And four?” “ And eight ?” “ And six?” “ And t wo?” “ And t en?” And so on. And aft er each figure was disposed of, it was as m uch as I could do t o get a bit e or a sup, before t he next cam e; while he sat at his ease guessing not hing, and eat ing bacon and hot roll, in ( if I m ay be allowed t he expression) a gorging and gorm andising m anner. 75

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For such reasons I was very glad when t en o'clock cam e and we st art ed for Miss Havisham 's; t hough I was not at all at m y ease regarding t he m anner in which I should acquit m yself under t hat lady's roof. Wit hin a quart er of an hour we cam e t o Miss Havisham 's house, which was of old brick, and dism al, and had a great m any iron bars t o it . Som e of t he windows had been walled up; of t hose t hat rem ained, all t he lower were rust ily barred. There was a court - yard in front , and t hat was barred; so, we had t o wait , aft er ringing t he bell, unt il som e one should com e t o open it . While we wait ed at t he gat e, I peeped in ( even t hen Mr. Pum blechook said, “ And fourt een?” but I pret ended not t o hear him ) , and saw t hat at t he side of t he house t here was a large brewery. No brewing was going on in it , and none seem ed t o have gone on for a long long t im e. A window was raised, and a clear voice dem anded “ What nam e?” To which m y conduct or replied, “ Pum blechook.” The voice ret urned, “ Quit e right ,” and t he window was shut again, and a young lady cam e across t he court - yard, wit h keys in her hand. “ This,” said Mr. Pum blechook, “ is Pip.” “ This is Pip, is it ?” ret urned t he young lady, who was very pret t y and seem ed very proud; “ com e in, Pip.” Mr. Pum blechook was com ing in also, when she st opped him wit h t he gat e. “ Oh! ” she said. “ Did you wish t o see Miss Havisham ?” “ I f Miss Havisham wished t o see m e,” ret urned Mr. Pum blechook, discom fit ed. “ Ah! ” said t he girl; “ but you see she don't .” 76

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She said it so finally, and in such an undiscussible way, t hat Mr. Pum blechook, t hough in a condit ion of ruffled dignit y, could not prot est . But he eyed m e severely—as if I had done anyt hing t o him ! —and depart ed wit h t he words reproachfully delivered: “ Boy! Let your behaviour here be a credit unt o t hem which brought you up by hand! ” I was not free from apprehension t hat he would com e back t o propound t hrough t he gat e, “ And sixt een?” But he didn't . My young conduct ress locked t he gat e, and we went across t he court - yard. I t was paved and clean, but grass was growing in every crevice. The brewery buildings had a lit t le lane of com m unicat ion wit h it , and t he wooden gat es of t hat lane st ood open, and all t he brewery beyond, st ood open, away t o t he high enclosing wall; and all was em pt y and disused. The cold wind seem ed t o blow colder t here, t han out side t he gat e; and it m ade a shrill noise in howling in and out at t he open sides of t he brewery, like t he noise of wind in t he rigging of a ship at sea. She saw m e looking at it , and she said, “ You could drink wit hout hurt all t he st rong beer t hat 's brewed t here now, boy.” “ I should t hink I could, m iss,” said I , in a shy way. “ Bet t er not t ry t o brew beer t here now, or it would t urn out sour, boy; don't you t hink so?” “ I t looks like it , m iss.” “ Not t hat anybody m eans t o t ry,” she added, “ for t hat 's all done wit h, and t he place will st and as idle as it is, t ill it falls. As t o st rong beer, t here's enough of it in t he cellars already, t o drown t he Manor House.” 77

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“ I s t hat t he nam e of t his house, m iss?” “ One of it s nam es, boy.” “ I t has m ore t han one, t hen, m iss?” “ One m ore. I t s ot her nam e was Sat is; which is Greek, or Lat in, or Hebrew, or all t hree—or all one t o m e—for enough.” “ Enough House,” said I ; “ t hat 's a curious nam e, m iss.” “ Yes,” she replied; “ but it m eant m ore t han it said. I t m eant , when it was given, t hat whoever had t his house, could want not hing else. They m ust have been easily sat isfied in t hose days, I should t hink. But don't loit er, boy.” Though she called m e “ boy” so oft en, and wit h a carelessness t hat was far from com plim ent ary, she was of about m y own age. She seem ed m uch older t han I , of course, being a girl, and beaut iful and self- possessed; and she was as scornful of m e as if she had been one- and- t went y, and a queen. We went int o t he house by a side door—t he great front ent rance had t wo chains across it out side—and t he first t hing I not iced was, t hat t he passages were all dark, and t hat she had left a candle burning t here. She t ook it up, and we went t hrough m ore passages and up a st aircase, and st ill it was all dark, and only t he candle light ed us. At last we cam e t o t he door of a room , and she said, “ Go in.” I answered, m ore in shyness t han polit eness, “ Aft er you, m iss.” To t his, she ret urned: “ Don't be ridiculous, boy; I am not going in.” And scornfully walked away, and—what was worse—t ook t he candle wit h her. 78

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This was very uncom fort able, and I was half afraid. However, t he only t hing t o be done being t o knock at t he door, I knocked, and was t old from wit hin t o ent er. I ent ered, t herefore, and found m yself in a pret t y large room , well light ed wit h wax candles. No glim pse of daylight was t o be seen in it . I t was a dressing- room , as I supposed from t he furnit ure, t hough m uch of it was of form s and uses t hen quit e unknown t o m e. But prom inent in it was a draped t able wit h a gilded looking- glass, and t hat I m ade out at first sight t o be a fine lady's dressing- t able. Whet her I should have m ade out t his obj ect so soon, if t here had been no fine lady sit t ing at it , I cannot say. I n an arm - chair, wit h an elbow rest ing on t he t able and her head leaning on t hat hand, sat t he st rangest lady I have ever seen, or shall ever see. She was dressed in rich m at erials—sat ins, and lace, and silks—all of whit e. Her shoes were whit e. And she had a long whit e veil dependent from her hair, and she had bridal flowers in her hair, but her hair was whit e. Som e bright j ewels sparkled on her neck and on her hands, and som e ot her j ewels lay sparkling on t he t able. Dresses, less splendid t han t he dress she wore, and half- packed t runks, were scat t ered about . She had not quit e finished dressing, for she had but one shoe on—t he ot her was on t he t able near her hand—her veil was but half arranged, her wat ch and chain were not put on, and som e lace for her bosom lay wit h t hose t rinket s, and wit h her handkerchief, and gloves, and som e flowers, and a prayer- book, all confusedly heaped about t he looking- glass. 79

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I t was not in t he first few m om ent s t hat I saw all t hese t hings, t hough I saw m ore of t hem in t he first m om ent s t han m ight be supposed. But , I saw t hat everyt hing wit hin m y view which ought t o be whit e, had been whit e long ago, and had lost it s lust re, and was faded and yellow. I saw t hat t he bride wit hin t he bridal dress had wit hered like t he dress, and like t he flowers, and had no bright ness left but t he bright ness of her sunken eyes. I saw t hat t he dress had been put upon t he rounded figure of a young wom an, and t hat t he figure upon which it now hung loose, had shrunk t o skin and bone. Once, I had been t aken t o see som e ghast ly waxwork at t he Fair, represent ing I know not what im possible personage lying in st at e. Once, I had been t aken t o one of our old m arsh churches t o see a skelet on in t he ashes of a rich dress, t hat had been dug out of a vault under t he church pavem ent . Now, waxwork and skelet on seem ed t o have dark eyes t hat m oved and looked at m e. I should have cried out , if I could. “ Who is it ?” said t he lady at t he t able. “ Pip, m a'am .” “ Pip?” “ Mr. Pum blechook's boy, m a'am . Com e—t o play.” “ Com e nearer; let m e look at you. Com e close.” I t was when I st ood before her, avoiding her eyes, t hat I t ook not e of t he surrounding obj ect s in det ail, and saw t hat her wat ch had st opped at t went y m inut es t o nine, and t hat a clock in t he room had st opped at t went y m inut es t o nine. “ Look at m e,” said Miss Havisham . “ You are not afraid of a wom an who has never seen t he sun since you were born?” 80

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I regret t o st at e t hat I was not afraid of t elling t he enorm ous lie com prehended in t he answer “ No.” “ Do you know what I t ouch here?” she said, laying her hands, one upon t he ot her, on her left side. “ Yes, m a'am .” ( I t m ade m e t hink of t he young m an.) “ What do I t ouch?” “ Your heart .” “ Broken! ” She ut t ered t he word wit h an eager look, and wit h st rong em phasis, and wit h a weird sm ile t hat had a kind of boast in it . Aft erwards, she kept her hands t here for a lit t le while, and slowly t ook t hem away as if t hey were heavy. “ I am t ired,” said Miss Havisham . “ I want diversion, and I have done wit h m en and wom en. Play.” I t hink it will be conceded by m y m ost disput at ious reader, t hat she could hardly have direct ed an unfort unat e boy t o do anyt hing in t he wide world m ore difficult t o be done under t he circum st ances. “ I som et im es have sick fancies,” she went on, “ and I have a sick fancy t hat I want t o see som e play. There t here! ” wit h an im pat ient m ovem ent of t he fingers of her right hand; “ play, play, play! ” For a m om ent , wit h t he fear of m y sist er's working m e before m y eyes, I had a desperat e idea of st art ing round t he room in t he assum ed charact er of Mr. Pum blechook's chaisecart . But , I felt m yself so unequal t o t he perform ance t hat I gave it up, and st ood looking at Miss Havisham in what I suppose she t ook for a dogged m anner, inasm uch as she said, when we had t aken a good look at each ot her: 81

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“ Are you sullen and obst inat e?” “ No, m a'am , I am very sorry for you, and very sorry I can't play j ust now. I f you com plain of m e I shall get int o t rouble wit h m y sist er, so I would do it if I could; but it 's so new here, and so st range, and so fine—and m elancholy—.” I st opped, fearing I m ight say t oo m uch, or had already said it , and we t ook anot her look at each ot her. Before she spoke again, she t urned her eyes from m e, and looked at t he dress she wore, and at t he dressing- t able, and finally at herself in t he looking- glass. “ So new t o him ,” she m ut t ered, “ so old t o m e; so st range t o him , so fam iliar t o m e; so m elancholy t o bot h of us! Call Est ella.” As she was st ill looking at t he reflect ion of herself, I t hought she was st ill t alking t o herself, and kept quiet . “ Call Est ella,” she repeat ed, flashing a look at m e. “ You can do t hat . Call Est ella. At t he door.” To st and in t he dark in a m yst erious passage of an unknown house, bawling Est ella t o a scornful young lady neit her visible nor responsive, and feeling it a dreadful libert y so t o roar out her nam e, was alm ost as bad as playing t o order. But , she answered at last , and her light cam e along t he dark passage like a st ar. Miss Havisham beckoned her t o com e close, and t ook up a j ewel from t he t able, and t ried it s effect upon her fair young bosom and against her pret t y brown hair. “ Your own, one day, m y dear, and you will use it well. Let m e see you play cards wit h t his boy.” “ Wit h t his boy? Why, he is a com m on labouring- boy! ” 82

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I t hought I overheard Miss Havisham answer—only it seem ed so unlikely—" Well? You can break his heart .” “ What do you play, boy?” asked Est ella of m yself, wit h t he great est disdain. “ Not hing but beggar m y neighbour, m iss.” “ Beggar him ,” said Miss Havisham t o Est ella. So we sat down t o cards. I t was t hen I began t o underst and t hat everyt hing in t he room had st opped, like t he wat ch and t he clock, a long t im e ago. I not iced t hat Miss Havisham put down t he j ewel exact ly on t he spot from which she had t aken it up. As Est ella dealt t he cards, I glanced at t he dressing- t able again, and saw t hat t he shoe upon it , once whit e, now yellow, had never been worn. I glanced down at t he foot from which t he shoe was absent , and saw t hat t he silk st ocking on it , once whit e, now yellow, had been t rodden ragged. Wit hout t his arrest of everyt hing, t his st anding st ill of all t he pale decayed obj ect s, not even t he wit hered bridal dress on t he collapsed from could have looked so like grave- clot hes, or t he long veil so like a shroud. So she sat , corpse- like, as we played at cards; t he frillings and t rim m ings on her bridal dress, looking like eart hy paper. I knew not hing t hen, of t he discoveries t hat are occasionally m ade of bodies buried in ancient t im es, which fall t o powder in t he m om ent of being dist inct ly seen; but , I have oft en t hought since, t hat she m ust have looked as if t he adm ission of t he nat ural light of day would have st ruck her t o dust .

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“ He calls t he knaves, Jacks, t his boy! ” said Est ella wit h disdain, before our first gam e was out . “ And what coarse hands he has! And what t hick boot s! ” I had never t hought of being asham ed of m y hands before; but I began t o consider t hem a very indifferent pair. Her cont em pt for m e was so st rong, t hat it becam e infect ious, and I caught it . She won t he gam e, and I dealt . I m isdealt , as was only nat ural, when I knew she was lying in wait for m e t o do wrong; and she denounced m e for a st upid, clum sy labouringboy. “ You say not hing of her,” rem arked Miss Havisham t o m e, as she looked on. “ She says m any hard t hings of you, but you say not hing of her. What do you t hink of her?” “ I don't like t o say,” I st am m ered. “ Tell m e in m y ear,” said Miss Havisham , bending down. “ I t hink she is very proud,” I replied, in a whisper. “ Anyt hing else?” “ I t hink she is very pret t y.” “ Anyt hing else?” “ I t hink she is very insult ing.” ( She was looking at m e t hen wit h a look of suprem e aversion.) “ Anyt hing else?” “ I t hink I should like t o go hom e.” “ And never see her again, t hough she is so pret t y?” “ I am not sure t hat I shouldn't like t o see her again, but I should like t o go hom e now.” “ You shall go soon,” said Miss Havisham , aloud. “ Play t he gam e out .” 84

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Saving for t he one weird sm ile at first , I should have felt alm ost sure t hat Miss Havisham 's face could not sm ile. I t had dropped int o a wat chful and brooding expression—m ost likely when all t he t hings about her had becom e t ransfixed—and it looked as if not hing could ever lift it up again. Her chest had dropped, so t hat she st ooped; and her voice had dropped, so t hat she spoke low, and wit h a dead lull upon her; alt oget her, she had t he appearance of having dropped, body and soul, wit hin and wit hout , under t he weight of a crushing blow. I played t he gam e t o an end wit h Est ella, and she beggared m e. She t hrew t he cards down on t he t able when she had won t hem all, as if she despised t hem for having been won of m e. “ When shall I have you here again?” said m iss Havisham . “ Let m e t hink.” I was beginning t o rem ind her t hat t o- day was Wednesday, when she checked m e wit h her form er im pat ient m ovem ent of t he fingers of her right hand. “ There, t here! I know not hing of days of t he week; I know not hing of weeks of t he year. Com e again aft er six days. You hear?” “ Yes, m a'am .” “ Est ella, t ake him down. Let him have som et hing t o eat , and let him roam and look about him while he eat s. Go, Pip.” I followed t he candle down, as I had followed t he candle up, and she st ood it in t he place where we had found it . Unt il she opened t he side ent rance, I had fancied, wit hout t hinking about it , t hat it m ust necessarily be night - t im e. The rush of 85

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t he daylight quit e confounded m e, and m ade m e feel as if I had been in t he candlelight of t he st range room m any hours. “ You are t o wait here, you boy,” said Est ella; and disappeared and closed t he door. I t ook t he opport unit y of being alone in t he court - yard, t o look at m y coarse hands and m y com m on boot s. My opinion of t hose accessories was not favourable. They had never t roubled m e before, but t hey t roubled m e now, as vulgar appendages. I det erm ined t o ask Joe why he had ever t aught m e t o call t hose pict ure- cards, Jacks, which ought t o be called knaves. I wished Joe had been rat her m ore gent eelly brought up, and t hen I should have been so t oo. She cam e back, wit h som e bread and m eat and a lit t le m ug of beer. She put t he m ug down on t he st ones of t he yard, and gave m e t he bread and m eat wit hout looking at m e, as insolent ly as if I were a dog in disgrace. I was so hum iliat ed, hurt , spurned, offended, angry, sorry—I cannot hit upon t he right nam e for t he sm art —God knows what it s nam e was—t hat t ears st art ed t o m y eyes. The m om ent t hey sprang t here, t he girl looked at m e wit h a quick delight in having been t he cause of t hem . This gave m e power t o keep t hem back and t o look at her: so, she gave a cont em pt uous t oss—but wit h a sense, I t hought , of having m ade t oo sure t hat I was so wounded—and left m e. But , when she was gone, I looked about m e for a place t o hide m y face in, and got behind one of t he gat es in t he brewery- lane, and leaned m y sleeve against t he wall t here, and leaned m y forehead on it and cried. As I cried, I kicked t he wall, and t ook a hard t wist at m y hair; so bit t er were m y 86

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feelings, and so sharp was t he sm art wit hout a nam e, t hat needed count eract ion. My sist er's bringing up had m ade m e sensit ive. I n t he lit t le world in which children have t heir exist ence whosoever brings t hem up, t here is not hing so finely perceived and so finely felt , as inj ust ice. I t m ay be only sm all inj ust ice t hat t he child can be exposed t o; but t he child is sm all, and it s world is sm all, and it s rocking- horse st ands as m any hands high, according t o scale, as a big- boned I rish hunt er. Wit hin m yself, I had sust ained, from m y babyhood, a perpet ual conflict wit h inj ust ice. I had known, from t he t im e when I could speak, t hat m y sist er, in her capricious and violent coercion, was unj ust t o m e. I had cherished a profound convict ion t hat her bringing m e up by hand, gave her no right t o bring m e up by j erks. Through all m y punishm ent s, disgraces, fast s and vigils, and ot her penit ent ial perform ances, I had nursed t his assurance; and t o m y com m uning so m uch wit h it , in a solit ary and unprot ect ed way, I in great part refer t he fact t hat I was m orally t im id and very sensit ive. I got rid of m y inj ured feelings for t he t im e, by kicking t hem int o t he brewery wall, and t wist ing t hem out of m y hair, and t hen I sm oot hed m y face wit h m y sleeve, and cam e from behind t he gat e. The bread and m eat were accept able, and t he beer was warm ing and t ingling, and I was soon in spirit s t o look about m e. To be sure, it was a desert ed place, down t o t he pigeonhouse in t he brewery- yard, which had been blown crooked on it s pole by som e high wind, and would have m ade t he pigeons t hink t hem selves at sea, if t here had been any pigeons t here 87

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t o be rocked by it . But , t here were no pigeons in t he dovecot , no horses in t he st able, no pigs in t he st y, no m alt in t he st ore- house, no sm ells of grains and beer in t he copper or t he vat . All t he uses and scent s of t he brewery m ight have evaporat ed wit h it s last reek of sm oke. I n a by- yard, t here was a wilderness of em pt y casks, which had a cert ain sour rem em brance of bet t er days lingering about t hem ; but it was t oo sour t o be accept ed as a sam ple of t he beer t hat was gone—and in t his respect I rem em ber t hose recluses as being like m ost ot hers. Behind t he furt hest end of t he brewery, was a rank garden wit h an old wall: not so high but t hat I could st ruggle up and hold on long enough t o look over it , and see t hat t he rank garden was t he garden of t he house, and t hat it was overgrown wit h t angled weeds, but t hat t here was a t rack upon t he green and yellow pat hs, as if som e one som et im es walked t here, and t hat Est ella was walking away from m e even t hen. But she seem ed t o be everywhere. For, when I yielded t o t he t em pt at ion present ed by t he casks, and began t o walk on t hem . I saw her walking on t hem at t he end of t he yard of casks. She had her back t owards m e, and held her pret t y brown hair spread out in her t wo hands, and never looked round, and passed out of m y view direct ly. So, in t he brewery it self—by which I m ean t he large paved loft y place in which t hey used t o m ake t he beer, and where t he brewing ut ensils st ill were. When I first went int o it , and, rat her oppressed by it s gloom , st ood near t he door looking about m e, I saw her pass am ong t he ext inguished fires, and ascend 88

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som e light iron st airs, and go out by a gallery high overhead, as if she were going out int o t he sky. I t was in t his place, and at t his m om ent , t hat a st range t hing happened t o m y fancy. I t hought it a st range t hing t hen, and I t hought it a st ranger t hing long aft erwards. I t urned m y eyes—a lit t le dim m ed by looking up at t he frost y light —t owards a great wooden beam in a low nook of t he building near m e on m y right hand, and I saw a figure hanging t here by t he neck. A figure all in yellow whit e, wit h but one shoe t o t he feet ; and it hung so, t hat I could see t hat t he faded t rim m ings of t he dress were like eart hy paper, and t hat t he face was Miss Havisham 's, wit h a m ovem ent going over t he whole count enance as if she were t rying t o call t o m e. I n t he t error of seeing t he figure, and in t he t error of being cert ain t hat it had not been t here a m om ent before, I at first ran from it , and t hen ran t owards it . And m y t error was great est of all, when I found no figure t here. Not hing less t han t he frost y light of t he cheerful sky, t he sight of people passing beyond t he bars of t he court - yard gat e, and t he reviving influence of t he rest of t he bread and m eat and beer, would have brought m e round. Even wit h t hose aids, I m ight not have com e t o m yself as soon as I did, but t hat I saw Est ella approaching wit h t he keys, t o let m e out . She would have som e fair reason for looking down upon m e, I t hought , if she saw m e fright ened; and she would have no fair reason. She gave m e a t rium phant glance in passing m e, as if she rej oiced t hat m y hands were so coarse and m y boot s were so t hick, and she opened t he gat e, and st ood holding it . I was 89

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passing out wit hout looking at her, when she t ouched m e wit h a t aunt ing hand. “ Why don't you cry?” “ Because I don't want t o.” “ You do,” said she. “ You have been crying t ill you are half blind, and you are near crying again now.” She laughed cont em pt uously, pushed m e out , and locked t he gat e upon m e. I went st raight t o Mr. Pum blechook's, and was im m ensely relieved t o find him not at hom e. So, leaving word wit h t he shopm an on what day I was want ed at Miss Havisham 's again, I set off on t he four- m ile walk t o our forge; pondering, as I went along, on all I had seen, and deeply revolving t hat I was a com m on labouring- boy; t hat m y hands were coarse; t hat m y boot s were t hick; t hat I had fallen int o a despicable habit of calling knaves Jacks; t hat I was m uch m ore ignorant t han I had considered m yself last night , and generally t hat I was in a low- lived bad way.

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Chapt er 9 When I reached hom e, m y sist er was very curious t o know all about Miss Havisham 's, and asked a num ber of quest ions. And I soon found m yself get t ing heavily bum ped from behind in t he nape of t he neck and t he sm all of t he back, and having m y face ignom iniously shoved against t he kit chen wall, because I did not answer t hose quest ions at sufficient lengt h. I f a dread of not being underst ood be hidden in t he breast s of ot her young people t o anyt hing like t he ext ent t o which it used t o be hidden in m ine—which I consider probable, as I have no part icular reason t o suspect m yself of having been a m onst rosit y—it is t he key t o m any reservat ions. I felt convinced t hat if I described Miss Havisham 's as m y eyes had seen it , I should not be underst ood. Not only t hat , but I felt convinced t hat Miss Havisham t oo would not be underst ood; and alt hough she was perfect ly incom prehensible t o m e, I ent ert ained an im pression t hat t here would be som et hing coarse and t reacherous in m y dragging her as she really was ( t o say not hing of Miss Est ella) before t he cont em plat ion of Mrs. Joe. Consequent ly, I said as lit t le as I could, and had m y face shoved against t he kit chen wall. The worst of it was t hat t hat bullying old Pum blechook, preyed upon by a devouring curiosit y t o be inform ed of all I had seen and heard, cam e gaping over in his chaise- cart at t ea- t im e, t o have t he det ails divulged t o him . And t he m ere sight of t he t orm ent , wit h his fishy eyes and m out h open, his 91

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sandy hair inquisit ively on end, and his waist coat heaving wit h windy arit hm et ic, m ade m e vicious in m y ret icence. “ Well, boy,” Uncle Pum blechook began, as soon as he was seat ed in t he chair of honour by t he fire. “ How did you get on up t own?” I answered, “ Pret t y well, sir,” and m y sist er shook her fist at m e. “ Pret t y well?” Mr. Pum blechook repeat ed. “ Pret t y well is no answer. Tell us what you m ean by pret t y well, boy?” Whit ewash on t he forehead hardens t he brain int o a st at e of obst inacy perhaps. Anyhow, wit h whit ewash from t he wall on m y forehead, m y obst inacy was adam ant ine. I reflect ed for som e t im e, and t hen answered as if I had discovered a new idea, “ I m ean pret t y well.” My sist er wit h an exclam at ion of im pat ience was going t o fly at m e—I had no shadow of defence, for Joe was busy in t he forge when Mr. Pum blechook int erposed wit h “ No! Don't lose your t em per. Leave t his lad t o m e, m a'am ; leave t his lad t o m e.” Mr. Pum blechook t hen t urned m e t owards him , as if he were going t o cut m y hair, and said: “ First ( t o get our t hought s in order) : Fort y- t hree pence?” I calculat ed t he consequences of replying “ Four Hundred Pound,” and finding t hem against m e, went as near t he answer as I could—which was som ewhere about eight pence off. Mr. Pum blechook t hen put m e t hrough m y pence- t able from “ t welve pence m ake one shilling,” up t o “ fort y pence m ake t hree and fourpence,” and t hen t rium phant ly dem anded, as if he had done for m e, “ Now! How m uch is fort y- t hree pence?” To which I replied, aft er a long int erval of 92

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reflect ion, “ I don't know.” And I was so aggravat ed t hat I alm ost doubt if I did know. Mr. Pum blechook worked his head like a screw t o screw it out of m e, and said, “ I s fort y- t hree pence seven and sixpence t hree fardens, for inst ance?” “ Yes! ” said I . And alt hough m y sist er inst ant ly boxed m y ears, it was highly grat ifying t o m e t o see t hat t he answer spoilt his j oke, and brought him t o a dead st op. “ Boy! What like is Miss Havisham ?” Mr. Pum blechook began again when he had recovered; folding his arm s t ight on his chest and applying t he screw. “ Very t all and dark,” I t old him . “ I s she, uncle?” asked m y sist er. Mr. Pum blechook winked assent ; from which I at once inferred t hat he had never seen Miss Havisham , for she was not hing of t he kind. “ Good! ” said Mr. Pum blechook conceit edly. ( " This is t he way t o have him ! We are beginning t o hold our own, I t hink, Mum ?" ) “ I am sure, uncle,” ret urned Mrs. Joe, “ I wish you had him always: you know so well how t o deal wit h him .” “ Now, boy! What was she a- doing of, when you went in t oday?” asked Mr. Pum blechook. “ She was sit t ing,” I answered, “ in a black velvet coach.” Mr. Pum blechook and Mrs. Joe st ared at one anot her—as t hey well m ight —and bot h repeat ed, “ I n a black velvet coach?” “ Yes,” said I . “ And Miss Est ella—t hat 's her niece, I t hink— handed her in cake and wine at t he coach- window, on a gold 93

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plat e. And we all had cake and wine on gold plat es. And I got up behind t he coach t o eat m ine, because she t old m e t o.” “ Was anybody else t here?” asked Mr. Pum blechook. “ Four dogs,” said I . “ Large or sm all?” “ I m m ense,” said I . “ And t hey fought for veal cut let s out of a silver basket .” Mr. Pum blechook and Mrs. Joe st ared at one anot her again, in ut t er am azem ent . I was perfect ly frant ic—a reckless wit ness under t he t ort ure—and would have t old t hem anyt hing. “ Where was t his coach, in t he nam e of gracious?” asked m y sist er. “ I n Miss Havisham 's room .” They st ared again. “ But t here weren't any horses t o it .” I added t his saving clause, in t he m om ent of rej ect ing four richly caparisoned coursers which I had had wild t hought s of harnessing. “ Can t his be possible, uncle?” asked Mrs. Joe. “ What can t he boy m ean?” “ I 'll t ell you, Mum ,” said Mr. Pum blechook. “ My opinion is, it 's a sedan- chair. She's flight y, you know—very flight y—quit e flight y enough t o pass her days in a sedan- chair.” “ Did you ever see her in it , uncle?” asked Mrs. Joe. “ How could I ,” he ret urned, forced t o t he adm ission, “ when I never see her in m y life? Never clapped eyes upon her! ” “ Goodness, uncle! And yet you have spoken t o her?” “ Why, don't you know,” said Mr. Pum blechook, t est ily, “ t hat when I have been t here, I have been t ook up t o t he out side of her door, and t he door has st ood aj ar, and she has 94

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spoke t o m e t hat way. Don't say you don't know t hat , Mum . Howsever, t he boy went t here t o play. What did you play at , boy?” “ We played wit h flags,” I said. ( I beg t o observe t hat I t hink of m yself wit h am azem ent , when I recall t he lies I t old on t his occasion.) “ Flags! ” echoed m y sist er. “ Yes,” said I . “ Est ella waved a blue flag, and I waved a red one, and Miss Havisham waved one sprinkled all over wit h lit t le gold st ars, out at t he coach- window. And t hen we all waved our swords and hurrahed.” “ Swords! ” repeat ed m y sist er. “ Where did you get swords from ?” “ Out of a cupboard,” said I . “ And I saw pist ols in it —and j am —and pills. And t here was no daylight in t he room , but it was all light ed up wit h candles.” “ That 's t rue, Mum ,” said Mr. Pum blechook, wit h a grave nod. “ That 's t he st at e of t he case, for t hat m uch I 've seen m yself.” And t hen t hey bot h st ared at m e, and I , wit h an obt rusive show of art lessness on m y count enance, st ared at t hem , and plait ed t he right leg of m y t rousers wit h m y right hand. I f t hey had asked m e any m ore quest ions I should undoubt edly have bet rayed m yself, for I was even t hen on t he point of m ent ioning t hat t here was a balloon in t he yard, and should have hazarded t he st at em ent but for m y invent ion being divided bet ween t hat phenom enon and a bear in t he brewery. They were so m uch occupied, however, in discussing t he m arvels I had already present ed for t heir considerat ion, 95

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t hat I escaped. The subj ect st ill held t hem when Joe cam e in from his work t o have a cup of t ea. To whom m y sist er, m ore for t he relief of her own m ind t han for t he grat ificat ion of his, relat ed m y pret ended experiences. Now, when I saw Joe open his blue eyes and roll t hem all round t he kit chen in helpless am azem ent , I was overt aken by penit ence; but only as regarded him —not in t he least as regarded t he ot her t wo. Towards Joe, and Joe only, I considered m yself a young m onst er, while t hey sat debat ing what result s would com e t o m e from Miss Havisham 's acquaint ance and favour. They had no doubt t hat Miss Havisham would “ do som et hing” for m e; t heir doubt s relat ed t o t he form t hat som et hing would t ake. My sist er st ood out for “ propert y.” Mr. Pum blechook was in favour of a handsom e prem ium for binding m e apprent ice t o som e gent eel t rade— say, t he corn and seed t rade, for inst ance. Joe fell int o t he deepest disgrace wit h bot h, for offering t he bright suggest ion t hat I m ight only be present ed wit h one of t he dogs who had fought for t he veal- cut let s. “ I f a fool's head can't express bet t er opinions t han t hat ,” said m y sist er, “ and you have got any work t o do, you had bet t er go and do it .” So he went . Aft er Mr. Pum blechook had driven off, and when m y sist er was washing up, I st ole int o t he forge t o Joe, and rem ained by him unt il he had done for t he night . Then I said, “ Before t he fire goes out , Joe, I should like t o t ell you som et hing.” “ Should you, Pip?” said Joe, drawing his shoeing- st ool near t he forge. “ Then t ell us. What is it , Pip?”

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“ Joe,” said I , t aking hold of his rolled- up shirt sleeve, and t wist ing it bet ween m y finger and t hum b, “ you rem em ber all t hat about Miss Havisham 's?” “ Rem em ber?” said Joe. “ I believe you! Wonderful! ” “ I t 's a t errible t hing, Joe; it ain't t rue.” “ What are you t elling of, Pip?” cried Joe, falling back in t he great est am azem ent . “ You don't m ean t o say it 's—” “ Yes I do; it 's lies, Joe.” “ But not all of it ? Why sure you don't m ean t o say, Pip, t hat t here was no black welwet coach?” For, I st ood shaking m y head. “ But at least t here was dogs, Pip? Com e, Pip,” said Joe, persuasively, “ if t here warn't no weal- cut let s, at least t here was dogs?” “ No, Joe.” “ A dog?” said Joe. “ A puppy? Com e?” “ No, Joe, t here was not hing at all of t he kind.” As I fixed m y eyes hopelessly on Joe, Joe cont em plat ed m e in dism ay. “ Pip, old chap! This won't do, old fellow! I say! Where do you expect t o go t o?” “ I t 's t errible, Joe; an't it ?” “ Terrible?” cried Joe. “ Awful! What possessed you?” “ I don't know what possessed m e, Joe,” I replied, let t ing his shirt sleeve go, and sit t ing down in t he ashes at his feet , hanging m y head; “ but I wish you hadn't t aught m e t o call Knaves at cards, Jacks; and I wish m y boot s weren't so t hick nor m y hands so coarse.” And t hen I t old Joe t hat I felt very m iserable, and t hat I hadn't been able t o explain m yself t o Mrs. Joe and Pum blechook who were so rude t o m e, and t hat t here had 97

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been a beaut iful young lady at Miss Havisham 's who was dreadfully proud, and t hat she had said I was com m on, and t hat I knew I was com m on, and t hat I wished I was not com m on, and t hat t he lies had com e of it som ehow, t hough I didn't know how. This was a case of m et aphysics, at least as difficult for Joe t o deal wit h, as for m e. But Joe t ook t he case alt oget her out of t he region of m et aphysics, and by t hat m eans vanquished it . “ There's one t hing you m ay be sure of, Pip,” said Joe, aft er som e rum inat ion, “ nam ely, t hat lies is lies. Howsever t hey com e, t hey didn't ought t o com e, and t hey com e from t he fat her of lies, and work round t o t he sam e. Don't you t ell no m ore of ‘em , Pip. That ain't t he way t o get out of being com m on, old chap. And as t o being com m on, I don't m ake it out at all clear. You are oncom m on in som e t hings. You're oncom m on sm all. Likewise you're a oncom m on scholar.” “ No, I am ignorant and backward, Joe.” “ Why, see what a let t er you wrot e last night ! Wrot e in print even! I 've seen let t ers—Ah! and from gent lefolks! —t hat I 'll swear weren't wrot e in print ,” said Joe. “ I have learnt next t o not hing, Joe. You t hink m uch of m e. I t 's only t hat .” “ Well, Pip,” said Joe, “ be it so or be it son't , you m ust be a com m on scholar afore you can be a oncom m on one, I should hope! The king upon his t hrone, wit h his crown upon his ‘ed, can't sit and writ e his act s of Parliam ent in print , wit hout having begun, when he were a unprom ot ed Prince, wit h t he alphabet —Ah! ” added Joe, wit h a shake of t he head t hat was 98

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full of m eaning, “ and begun at A t oo, and worked his way t o Z. And I know what t hat is t o do, t hough I can't say I 've exact ly done it .” There was som e hope in t his piece of wisdom , and it rat her encouraged m e. “ Whet her com m on ones as t o callings and earnings,” pursued Joe, reflect ively, “ m ight n't be t he bet t er of cont inuing for a keep com pany wit h com m on ones, inst ead of going out t o play wit h oncom m on ones—which rem inds m e t o hope t hat t here were a flag, perhaps?” “ No, Joe.” “ ( I 'm sorry t here weren't a flag, Pip) . Whet her t hat m ight be, or m ight n't be, is a t hing as can't be looked int o now, wit hout put t ing your sist er on t he Ram page; and t hat 's a t hing not t o be t hought of, as being done int ent ional. Lookee here, Pip, at what is said t o you by a t rue friend. Which t his t o you t he t rue friend say. I f you can't get t o be oncom m on t hrough going st raight , you'll never get t o do it t hrough going crooked. So don't t ell no m ore on ‘em , Pip, and live well and die happy.” “ You are not angry wit h m e, Joe?” “ No, old chap. But bearing in m ind t hat t hem were which I m eant ersay of a st unning and out dacious sort —alluding t o t hem which bordered on weal- cut let s and dog- fight ing—a sincere wellwisher would adwise, Pip, t heir being dropped int o your m edit at ions, when you go up- st airs t o bed. That 's all, old chap, and don't never do it no m ore.” When I got up t o m y lit t le room and said m y prayers, I did not forget Joe's recom m endat ion, and yet m y young m ind 99

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was in t hat dist urbed and unt hankful st at e, t hat I t hought long aft er I laid m e down, how com m on Est ella would consider Joe, a m ere blacksm it h: how t hick his boot s, and how coarse his hands. I t hought how Joe and m y sist er were t hen sit t ing in t he kit chen, and how I had com e up t o bed from t he kit chen, and how Miss Havisham and Est ella never sat in a kit chen, but were far above t he level of such com m on doings. I fell asleep recalling what I “ used t o do” when I was at Miss Havisham 's; as t hough I had been t here weeks or m ont hs, inst ead of hours; and as t hough it were quit e an old subj ect of rem em brance, inst ead of one t hat had arisen only t hat day. That was a m em orable day t o m e, for it m ade great changes in m e. But , it is t he sam e wit h any life. I m agine one select ed day st ruck out of it , and t hink how different it s course would have been. Pause you who read t his, and t hink for a m om ent of t he long chain of iron or gold, of t horns or flowers, t hat would never have bound you, but for t he form at ion of t he first link on one m em orable day.

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Chapt er 10 The felicit ous idea occurred t o m e a m orning or t wo lat er when I woke, t hat t he best st ep I could t ake t owards m aking m yself uncom m on was t o get out of Biddy everyt hing she knew. I n pursuance of t his lum inous concept ion I m ent ioned t o Biddy when I went t o Mr. Wopsle's great - aunt 's at night , t hat I had a part icular reason for wishing t o get on in life, and t hat I should feel very m uch obliged t o her if she would im part all her learning t o m e. Biddy, who was t he m ost obliging of girls, im m ediat ely said she would, and indeed began t o carry out her prom ise wit hin five m inut es. The Educat ional schem e or Course est ablished by Mr. Wopsle's great - aunt m ay be resolved int o t he following synopsis. The pupils at e apples and put st raws down one anot her's backs, unt il Mr Wopsle's great - aunt collect ed her energies, and m ade an indiscrim inat e t ot t er at t hem wit h a birch- rod. Aft er receiving t he charge wit h every m ark of derision, t he pupils form ed in line and buzzingly passed a ragged book from hand t o hand. The book had an alphabet in it , som e figures and t ables, and a lit t le spelling—t hat is t o say, it had had once. As soon as t his volum e began t o circulat e, Mr. Wopsle's great - aunt fell int o a st at e of com a; arising eit her from sleep or a rheum at ic paroxysm . The pupils t hen ent ered am ong t hem selves upon a com pet it ive exam inat ion on t he subj ect of Boot s, wit h t he view of ascert aining who could t read t he hardest upon whose t oes. This m ent al exercise last ed unt il Biddy m ade a rush at t hem 101

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and dist ribut ed t hree defaced Bibles ( shaped as if t hey had been unskilfully cut off t he chum p- end of som et hing) , m ore illegibly print ed at t he best t han any curiosit ies of lit erat ure I have since m et wit h, speckled all over wit h ironm ould, and having various specim ens of t he insect world sm ashed bet ween t heir leaves. This part of t he Course was usually light ened by several single com bat s bet ween Biddy and refract ory st udent s. When t he fight s were over, Biddy gave out t he num ber of a page, and t hen we all read aloud what we could—or what we couldn't —in a fright ful chorus; Biddy leading wit h a high shrill m onot onous voice, and none of us having t he least not ion of, or reverence for, what we were reading about . When t his horrible din had last ed a cert ain t im e, it m echanically awoke Mr. Wopsle's great - aunt , who st aggered at a boy fort uit ously, and pulled his ears. This was underst ood t o t erm inat e t he Course for t he evening, and we em erged int o t he air wit h shrieks of int ellect ual vict ory. I t is fair t o rem ark t hat t here was no prohibit ion against any pupil's ent ert aining him self wit h a slat e or even wit h t he ink ( when t here was any) , but t hat it was not easy t o pursue t hat branch of st udy in t he wint er season, on account of t he lit t le general shop in which t he classes were holden—and which was also Mr. Wopsle's great - aunt 's sit t ing- room and bedcham ber—being but faint ly illum inat ed t hrough t he agency of one low- spirit ed dip- candle and no snuffers. I t appeared t o m e t hat it would t ake t im e, t o becom e uncom m on under t hese circum st ances: nevert heless, I resolved t o t ry it , and t hat very evening Biddy ent ered on our special agreem ent , by im part ing som e inform at ion from her 102

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lit t le cat alogue of Prices, under t he head of m oist sugar, and lending m e, t o copy at hom e, a large old English D which she had im it at ed from t he heading of som e newspaper, and which I supposed, unt il she t old m e what it was, t o be a design for a buckle. Of course t here was a public- house in t he village, and of course Joe liked som et im es t o sm oke his pipe t here. I had received st rict orders from m y sist er t o call for him at t he Three Jolly Bargem en, t hat evening, on m y way from school, and bring him hom e at m y peril. To t he Three Jolly Bargem en, t herefore, I direct ed m y st eps. There was a bar at t he Jolly Bargem en, wit h som e alarm ingly long chalk scores in it on t he wall at t he side of t he door, which seem ed t o m e t o be never paid off. They had been t here ever since I could rem em ber, and had grown m ore t han I had. But t here was a quant it y of chalk about our count ry, and perhaps t he people neglect ed no opport unit y of t urning it t o account . I t being Sat urday night , I found t he landlord looking rat her grim ly at t hese records, but as m y business was wit h Joe and not wit h him , I m erely wished him good evening, and passed int o t he com m on room at t he end of t he passage, where t here was a bright large kit chen fire, and where Joe was sm oking his pipe in com pany wit h Mr. Wopsle and a st ranger. Joe greet ed m e as usual wit h “ Halloa, Pip, old chap! ” and t he m om ent he said t hat , t he st ranger t urned his head and looked at m e. He was a secret - looking m an whom I had never seen before. His head was all on one side, and one of his eyes was 103

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half shut up, as if he were t aking aim at som et hing wit h an invisible gun. He had a pipe in his m out h, and he t ook it out , and, aft er slowly blowing all his sm oke away and looking hard at m e all t he t im e, nodded. So, I nodded, and t hen he nodded again, and m ade room on t he set t le beside him t hat I m ight sit down t here. But , as I was used t o sit beside Joe whenever I ent ered t hat place of resort , I said “ No, t hank you, sir,” and fell int o t he space Joe m ade for m e on t he opposit e set t le. The st range m an, aft er glancing at Joe, and seeing t hat his at t ent ion was ot herwise engaged, nodded t o m e again when I had t aken m y seat , and t hen rubbed his leg—in a very odd way, as it st ruck m e. “ You was saying,” said t he st range m an, t urning t o Joe, “ t hat you was a blacksm it h.” “ Yes. I said it , you know,” said Joe. “ What 'll you drink, Mr.—? You didn't m ent ion your nam e, by- t he- bye.” Joe m ent ioned it now, and t he st range m an called him by it . “ What 'll you drink, Mr. Gargery? At m y expense? To t op up wit h?” “ Well,” said Joe, “ t o t ell you t he t rut h, I ain't m uch in t he habit of drinking at anybody's expense but m y own.” “ Habit ? No,” ret urned t he st ranger, “ but once and away, and on a Sat urday night t oo. Com e! Put a nam e t o it , Mr. Gargery.” “ I wouldn't wish t o be st iff com pany,” said Joe. “ Rum .” “ Rum ,” repeat ed t he st ranger. “ And will t he ot her gent lem an originat e a sent im ent .” 104

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“ Rum ,” said Mr. Wopsle. “ Three Rum s! ” cried t he st ranger, calling t o t he landlord. “ Glasses round! ” “ This ot her gent lem an,” observed Joe, by way of int roducing Mr. Wopsle, “ is a gent lem an t hat you would like t o hear give it out . Our clerk at church.” “ Aha! ” said t he st ranger, quickly, and cocking his eye at m e. “ The lonely church, right out on t he m arshes, wit h graves round it ! ” “ That 's it ,” said Joe. The st ranger, wit h a com fort able kind of grunt over his pipe, put his legs up on t he set t le t hat he had t o him self. He wore a flapping broad- brim m ed t raveller's hat , and under it a handkerchief t ied over his head in t he m anner of a cap: so t hat he showed no hair. As he looked at t he fire, I t hought I saw a cunning expression, followed by a half- laugh, com e int o his face. “ I am not acquaint ed wit h t his count ry, gent lem en, but it seem s a solit ary count ry t owards t he river.” “ Most m arshes is solit ary,” said Joe. “ No doubt , no doubt . Do you find any gipsies, now, or t ram ps, or vagrant s of any sort , out t here?” “ No,” said Joe; “ none but a runaway convict now and t hen. And we don't find t hem , easy. Eh, Mr. Wopsle?” Mr. Wopsle, wit h a m aj est ic rem em brance of old discom fit ure, assent ed; but not warm ly. “ Seem s you have been out aft er such?” asked t he st ranger. 105

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“ Once,” ret urned Joe. “ Not t hat we want ed t o t ake t hem , you underst and; we went out as lookers on; m e, and Mr. Wopsle, and Pip. Didn't us, Pip?” “ Yes, Joe.” The st ranger looked at m e again—st ill cocking his eye, as if he were expressly t aking aim at m e wit h his invisible gun— and said, “ He's a likely young parcel of bones t hat . What is it you call him ?” “ Pip,” said Joe. “ Christ ened Pip?” “ No, not christ ened Pip.” “ Surnam e Pip?” “ No,” said Joe, “ it 's a kind of fam ily nam e what he gave him self when a infant , and is called by.” “ Son of yours?” “ Well,” said Joe, m edit at ively—not , of course, t hat it could be in anywise necessary t o consider about it , but because it was t he way at t he Jolly Bargem en t o seem t o consider deeply about everyt hing t hat was discussed over pipes; “ well—no. No, he ain't .” “ Nevvy?” said t he st range m an. “ Well,” said Joe, wit h t he sam e appearance of profound cogit at ion, “ he is not —no, not t o deceive you, he is not —m y nevvy.” “ What t he Blue Blazes is he?” asked t he st ranger. Which appeared t o m e t o be an inquiry of unnecessary st rengt h. Mr. Wopsle st ruck in upon t hat ; as one who knew all about relat ionships, having professional occasion t o bear in m ind what fem ale relat ions a m an m ight not m arry; and 106

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expounded t he t ies bet ween m e and Joe. Having his hand in, Mr. Wopsle finished off wit h a m ost t errifically snarling passage from Richard t he Third, and seem ed t o t hink he had done quit e enough t o account for it when he added,—" as t he poet says.” And here I m ay rem ark t hat when Mr. Wopsle referred t o m e, he considered it a necessary part of such reference t o rum ple m y hair and poke it int o m y eyes. I cannot conceive why everybody of his st anding who visit ed at our house should always have put m e t hrough t he sam e inflam m at ory process under sim ilar circum st ances. Yet I do not call t o m ind t hat I was ever in m y earlier yout h t he subj ect of rem ark in our social fam ily circle, but som e large- handed person t ook som e such opht halm ic st eps t o pat ronize m e. All t his while, t he st range m an looked at nobody but m e, and looked at m e as if he were det erm ined t o have a shot at m e at last , and bring m e down. But he said not hing aft er offering his Blue Blazes observat ion, unt il t he glasses of rum and- wat er were brought ; and t hen he m ade his shot , and a m ost ext raordinary shot it was. I t was not a verbal rem ark, but a proceeding in dum p show, and was point edly addressed t o m e. He st irred his rum and- wat er point edly at m e, and he t ast ed his rum - and- wat er point edly at m e. And he st irred it and he t ast ed it : not wit h a spoon t hat was brought t o him , but wit h a file. He did t his so t hat nobody but I saw t he file; and when he had done it he wiped t he file and put it in a breast - pocket . I knew it t o be Joe's file, and I knew t hat he knew m y convict , t he m om ent I saw t he inst rum ent . I sat gazing at him , spell107

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bound. But he now reclined on his set t le, t aking very lit t le not ice of m e, and t alking principally about t urnips. There was a delicious sense of cleaning- up and m aking a quiet pause before going on in life afresh, in our village on Sat urday night s, which st im ulat ed Joe t o dare t o st ay out half an hour longer on Sat urdays t han at ot her t im es. The half hour and t he rum - and- wat er running out t oget her, Joe got up t o go, and t ook m e by t he hand. “ St op half a m om ent , Mr. Gargery,” said t he st range m an. “ I t hink I 've got a bright new shilling som ewhere in m y pocket , and if I have, t he boy shall have it .” He looked it out from a handful of sm all change, folded it in som e crum pled paper, and gave it t o m e. “ Yours! ” said he. “ Mind! Your own.” I t hanked him , st aring at him far beyond t he bounds of good m anners, and holding t ight t o Joe. He gave Joe goodnight , and he gave Mr. Wopsle good- night ( who went out wit h us) , and he gave m e only a look wit h his aim ing eye—no, not a look, for he shut it up, but wonders m ay be done wit h an eye by hiding it . On t he way hom e, if I had been in a hum our for t alking, t he t alk m ust have been all on m y side, for Mr. Wopsle part ed from us at t he door of t he Jolly Bargem en, and Joe went all t he way hom e wit h his m out h wide open, t o rinse t he rum out wit h as m uch air as possible. But I was in a m anner st upefied by t his t urning up of m y old m isdeed and old acquaint ance, and could t hink of not hing else. My sist er was not in a very bad t em per when we present ed ourselves in t he kit chen, and Joe was encouraged by t hat 108

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unusual circum st ance t o t ell her about t he bright shilling. “ A bad un, I 'll be bound,” said Mrs. Joe t rium phant ly, “ or he wouldn't have given it t o t he boy! Let 's look at it .” I t ook it out of t he paper, and it proved t o be a good one. “ But what 's t his?” said Mrs. Joe, t hrowing down t he shilling and cat ching up t he paper. “ Two One- Pound not es?” Not hing less t han t wo fat swelt ering one- pound not es t hat seem ed t o have been on t erm s of t he warm est int im acy wit h all t he cat t le m arket s in t he count y. Joe caught up his hat again, and ran wit h t hem t o t he Jolly Bargem en t o rest ore t hem t o t heir owner. While he was gone, I sat down on m y usual st ool and looked vacant ly at m y sist er, feeling pret t y sure t hat t he m an would not be t here. Present ly, Joe cam e back, saying t hat t he m an was gone, but t hat he, Joe, had left word at t he Three Jolly Bargem en concerning t he not es. Then m y sist er sealed t hem up in a piece of paper, and put t hem under som e dried rose- leaves in an ornam ent al t ea- pot on t he t op of a press in t he st at e parlour. There t hey rem ained, a night m are t o m e, m any and m any a night and day. I had sadly broken sleep when I got t o bed, t hrough t hinking of t he st range m an t aking aim at m e wit h his invisible gun, and of t he guilt ily coarse and com m on t hing it was, t o be on secret t erm s of conspiracy wit h convict s—a feat ure in m y low career t hat I had previously forgot t en. I was haunt ed by t he file t oo. A dread possessed m e t hat when I least expect ed it , t he file would reappear. I coaxed m yself t o sleep by t hinking of Miss Havisham 's, next Wednesday; and in m y sleep I saw t he file com ing at m e out of a door, wit hout 109

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seeing who held it , and I scream ed m yself awake.

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Chapt er 11 At t he appoint ed t im e I ret urned t o Miss Havisham 's, and m y hesit at ing ring at t he gat e brought out Est ella. She locked it aft er adm it t ing m e, as she had done before, and again preceded m e int o t he dark passage where her candle st ood. She t ook no not ice of m e unt il she had t he candle in her hand, when she looked over her shoulder, superciliously saying, “ You are t o com e t his way t oday,” and t ook m e t o quit e anot her part of t he house. The passage was a long one, and seem ed t o pervade t he whole square basem ent of t he Manor House. We t raversed but one side of t he square, however, and at t he end of it she st opped, and put her candle down and opened a door. Here, t he daylight reappeared, and I found m yself in a sm all paved court - yard, t he opposit e side of which was form ed by a det ached dwelling- house, t hat looked as if it had once belonged t o t he m anager or head clerk of t he ext inct brewery. There was a clock in t he out er wall of t his house. Like t he clock in Miss Havisham 's room , and like Miss Havisham 's wat ch, it had st opped at t went y m inut es t o nine. We went in at t he door, which st ood open, and int o a gloom y room wit h a low ceiling, on t he ground floor at t he back. There was som e com pany in t he room , and Est ella said t o m e as she j oined it , “ You are t o go and st and t here, boy, t ill you are want ed.” “ There" , being t he window, I crossed t o it , and st ood “ t here,” in a very uncom fort able st at e of m ind, looking out . 111

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I t opened t o t he ground, and looked int o a m ost m iserable corner of t he neglect ed garden, upon a rank ruin of cabbagest alks, and one box t ree t hat had been clipped round long ago, like a pudding, and had a new growt h at t he t op of it , out of shape and of a different colour, as if t hat part of t he pudding had st uck t o t he saucepan and got burnt . This was m y hom ely t hought , as I cont em plat ed t he box- t ree. There had been som e light snow, overnight , and it lay nowhere else t o m y knowledge; but , it had not quit e m elt ed from t he cold shadow of t his bit of garden, and t he wind caught it up in lit t le eddies and t hrew it at t he window, as if it pelt ed m e for com ing t here. I divined t hat m y com ing had st opped conversat ion in t he room , and t hat it s ot her occupant s were looking at m e. I could see not hing of t he room except t he shining of t he fire in t he window glass, but I st iffened in all m y j oint s wit h t he consciousness t hat I was under close inspect ion. There were t hree ladies in t he room and one gent lem an. Before I had been st anding at t he window five m inut es, t hey som ehow conveyed t o m e t hat t hey were all t oadies and hum bugs, but t hat each of t hem pret ended not t o know t hat t he ot hers were t oadies and hum bugs: because t he adm ission t hat he or she did know it , would have m ade him or her out t o be a t oady and hum bug. They all had a list less and dreary air of wait ing som ebody's pleasure, and t he m ost t alkat ive of t he ladies had t o speak quit e rigidly t o repress a yawn. This lady, whose nam e was Cam illa, very m uch rem inded m e of m y sist er, wit h t he difference t hat she was older, and ( as I found when I caught 112

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sight of her) of a blunt er cast of feat ures. I ndeed, when I knew her bet t er I began t o t hink it was a Mercy she had any feat ures at all, so very blank and high was t he dead wall of her face. “ Poor dear soul! ” said t his lady, wit h an abrupt ness of m anner quit e m y sist er's. “ Nobody's enem y but his own! ” “ I t would be m uch m ore com m endable t o be som ebody else's enem y,” said t he gent lem an; “ far m ore nat ural.” “ Cousin Raym ond,” observed anot her lady, “ we are t o love our neighbour.” “ Sarah Pocket ,” ret urned Cousin Raym ond, “ if a m an is not his own neighbour, who is?” Miss Pocket laughed, and Cam illa laughed and said ( checking a yawn) , “ The idea! ” But I t hought t hey seem ed t o t hink it rat her a good idea t oo. The ot her lady, who had not spoken yet , said gravely and em phat ically, “ Very t rue! ” “ Poor soul! ” Cam illa present ly went on ( I knew t hey had all been looking at m e in t he m ean t im e) , “ he is so very st range! Would anyone believe t hat when Tom 's wife died, he act ually could not be induced t o see t he im port ance of t he children's having t he deepest of t rim m ings t o t heir m ourning? ‘Good Lord! ’ says he, ‘Cam illa, what can it signify so long as t he poor bereaved lit t le t hings are in black?’ So like Mat t hew! The idea! ” “ Good point s in him , good point s in him ,” said Cousin Raym ond; “ Heaven forbid I should deny good point s in him ; but he never had, and he never will have, any sense of t he propriet ies.” 113

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“ You know I was obliged,” said Cam illa, “ I was obliged t o be firm . I said, ‘I t WI LL NOT DO, for t he credit of t he fam ily.’ I t old him t hat , wit hout deep t rim m ings, t he fam ily was disgraced. I cried about it from breakfast t ill dinner. I inj ured m y digest ion. And at last he flung out in his violent way, and said, wit h a D, ‘Then do as you like.’ Thank Goodness it will always be a consolat ion t o m e t o know t hat I inst ant ly went out in a pouring rain and bought t he t hings.” “ He paid for t hem , did he not ?” asked Est ella. “ I t 's not t he quest ion, m y dear child, who paid for t hem ,” ret urned Cam illa. “ I bought t hem . And I shall oft en t hink of t hat wit h peace, when I wake up in t he night .” The ringing of a dist ant bell, com bined wit h t he echoing of som e cry or call along t he passage by which I had com e, int errupt ed t he conversat ion and caused Est ella t o say t o m e, “ Now, boy! ” On m y t urning round, t hey all looked at m e wit h t he ut m ost cont em pt , and, as I went out , I heard Sarah Pocket say, “ Well I am sure! What next ! ” and Cam illa add, wit h indignat ion, “ Was t here ever such a fancy! The i- de- a! ” As we were going wit h our candle along t he dark passage, Est ella st opped all of a sudden, and, facing round, said in her t aunt ing m anner wit h her face quit e close t o m ine: “ Well?” “ Well, m iss?” I answered, alm ost falling over her and checking m yself. She st ood looking at m e, and, of course, I st ood looking at her. “ Am I pret t y?” “ Yes; I t hink you are very pret t y.” 114

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“ Am I insult ing?” “ Not so m uch so as you were last t im e,” said I . “ Not so m uch so?” “ No.” She fired when she asked t he last quest ion, and she slapped m y face wit h such force as she had, when I answered it . “ Now?” said she. “ You lit t le coarse m onst er, what do you t hink of m e now?” “ I shall not t ell you.” “ Because you are going t o t ell, up- st airs. I s t hat it ?” “ No,” said I , “ t hat 's not it .” “ Why don't you cry again, you lit t le wret ch?” “ Because I 'll never cry for you again,” said I . Which was, I suppose, as false a declarat ion as ever was m ade; for I was inwardly crying for her t hen, and I know what I know of t he pain she cost m e aft erwards. We went on our way up- st airs aft er t his episode; and, as we were going up, we m et a gent lem an groping his way down. “ Whom have we here?” asked t he gent lem an, st opping and looking at m e. “ A boy,” said Est ella. He was a burly m an of an exceedingly dark com plexion, wit h an exceedingly large head and a corresponding large hand. He t ook m y chin in his large hand and t urned up m y face t o have a look at m e by t he light of t he candle. He was prem at urely bald on t he t op of his head, and had bushy black eyebrows t hat wouldn't lie down but st ood up brist ling. His 115

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eyes were set very deep in his head, and were disagreeably sharp and suspicious. He had a large wat chchain, and st rong black dot s where his beard and whiskers would have been if he had let t hem . He was not hing t o m e, and I could have had no foresight t hen, t hat he ever would be anyt hing t o m e, but it happened t hat I had t his opport unit y of observing him well. “ Boy of t he neighbourhood? Hey?” said he. “ Yes, sir,” said I . “ How do you com e here?” “ Miss Havisham sent for m e, sir,” I explained. “ Well! Behave yourself. I have a pret t y large experience of boys, and you're a bad set of fellows. Now m ind! ” said he, bit ing t he side of his great forefinger as he frowned at m e, “ you behave yourself! ” Wit h t hose words, he released m e—which I was glad of, for his hand sm elt of scent ed soap—and went his way downst airs. I wondered whet her he could be a doct or; but no, I t hought ; he couldn't be a doct or, or he would have a quiet er and m ore persuasive m anner. There was not m uch t im e t o consider t he subj ect , for we were soon in Miss Havisham 's room , where she and everyt hing else were j ust as I had left t hem . Est ella left m e st anding near t he door, and I st ood t here unt il Miss Havisham cast her eyes upon m e from t he dressing- t able. “ So! ” she said, wit hout being st art led or surprised; “ t he days have worn away, have t hey?” “ Yes, m a'am . To- day is—” “ There, t here, t here! ” wit h t he im pat ient m ovem ent of her fingers. “ I don't want t o know. Are you ready t o play?” 116

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I was obliged t o answer in som e confusion, “ I don't t hink I am , m a'am .” “ Not at cards again?” she dem anded, wit h a searching look. “ Yes, m a'am ; I could do t hat , if I was want ed.” “ Since t his house st rikes you old and grave, boy,” said Miss Havisham , im pat ient ly, “ and you are unwilling t o play, are you willing t o work?” I could answer t his inquiry wit h a bet t er heart t han I had been able t o find for t he ot her quest ion, and I said I was quit e willing. “ Then go int o t hat opposit e room ,” said she, point ing at t he door behind m e wit h her wit hered hand, “ and wait t here t ill I com e.” I crossed t he st aircase landing, and ent ered t he room she indicat ed. From t hat room , t oo, t he daylight was com plet ely excluded, and it had an airless sm ell t hat was oppressive. A fire had been lat ely kindled in t he dam p old- fashioned grat e, and it was m ore disposed t o go out t han t o burn up, and t he reluct ant sm oke which hung in t he room seem ed colder t han t he clearer air—like our own m arsh m ist . Cert ain wint ry branches of candles on t he high chim neypiece faint ly light ed t he cham ber: or, it would be m ore expressive t o say, faint ly t roubled it s darkness. I t was spacious, and I dare say had once been handsom e, but every discernible t hing in it was covered wit h dust and m ould, and dropping t o pieces. The m ost prom inent obj ect was a long t able wit h a t ableclot h spread on it , as if a feast had been in preparat ion when t he house and t he clocks all st opped t oget her. An epergne or 117

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cent repiece of som e kind was in t he m iddle of t his clot h; it was so heavily overhung wit h cobwebs t hat it s form was quit e undist inguishable; and, as I looked along t he yellow expanse out of which I rem em ber it s seem ing t o grow, like a black fungus, I saw speckled- legged spiders wit h blot chy bodies running hom e t o it , and running out from it , as if som e circum st ances of t he great est public im port ance had j ust t ranspired in t he spider com m unit y. I heard t he m ice t oo, rat t ling behind t he panels, as if t he sam e occurrence were im port ant t o t heir int erest s. But , t he blackbeet les t ook no not ice of t he agit at ion, and groped about t he heart h in a ponderous elderly way, as if t hey were short sight ed and hard of hearing, and not on t erm s wit h one anot her. These crawling t hings had fascinat ed m y at t ent ion and I was wat ching t hem from a dist ance, when Miss Havisham laid a hand upon m y shoulder. I n her ot her hand she had a crut ch- headed st ick on which she leaned, and she looked like t he Wit ch of t he place. “ This,” said she, point ing t o t he long t able wit h her st ick, “ is where I will be laid when I am dead. They shall com e and look at m e here.” Wit h som e vague m isgiving t hat she m ight get upon t he t able t hen and t here and die at once, t he com plet e realizat ion of t he ghast ly waxwork at t he Fair, I shrank under her t ouch. “ What do you t hink t hat is?” she asked m e, again point ing wit h her st ick; “ t hat , where t hose cobwebs are?” “ I can't guess what it is, m a'am .” “ I t 's a great cake. A bride- cake. Mine! ” 118

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She looked all round t he room in a glaring m anner, and t hen said, leaning on m e while her hand t wit ched m y shoulder, “ Com e, com e, com e! Walk m e, walk m e! ” I m ade out from t his, t hat t he work I had t o do, was t o walk Miss Havisham round and round t he room . Accordingly, I st art ed at once, and she leaned upon m y shoulder, and we went away at a pace t hat m ight have been an im it at ion ( founded on m y first im pulse under t hat roof) of Mr. Pum blechook's chaise- cart . She was not physically st rong, and aft er a lit t le t im e said, “ Slower! ” St ill, we went at an im pat ient fit ful speed, and as we went , she t wit ched t he hand upon m y shoulder, and worked her m out h, and led m e t o believe t hat we were going fast because her t hought s went fast . Aft er a while she said, “ Call Est ella! ” so I went out on t he landing and roared t hat nam e as I had done on t he previous occasion. When her light appeared, I ret urned t o Miss Havisham , and we st art ed away again round and round t he room . I f only Est ella had com e t o be a spect at or of our proceedings, I should have felt sufficient ly discont ent ed; but , as she brought wit h her t he t hree ladies and t he gent lem an whom I had seen below, I didn't know what t o do. I n m y polit eness, I would have st opped; but , Miss Havisham t wit ched m y shoulder, and we post ed on—wit h a sham e- faced consciousness on m y part t hat t hey would t hink it was all m y doing. “ Dear Miss Havisham ,” said Miss Sarah Pocket . “ How well you look! ” 119

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“ I do not ,” ret urned Miss Havisham . “ I am yellow skin and bone.” Cam illa bright ened when Miss Pocket m et wit h t his rebuff; and she m urm ured, as she plaint ively cont em plat ed Miss Havisham , “ Poor dear soul! Cert ainly not t o be expect ed t o look well, poor t hing. The idea! ” “ And how are you?” said Miss Havisham t o Cam illa. As we were close t o Cam illa t hen, I would have st opped as a m at t er of course, only Miss Havisham wouldn't st op. We swept on, and I felt t hat I was highly obnoxious t o Cam illa. “ Thank you, Miss Havisham ,” she ret urned, “ I am as well as can be expect ed.” “ Why, what 's t he m at t er wit h you?” asked Miss Havisham , wit h exceeding sharpness. “ Not hing wort h m ent ioning,” replied Cam illa. “ I don't wish t o m ake a display of m y feelings, but I have habit ually t hought of you m ore in t he night t han I am quit e equal t o.” “ Then don't t hink of m e,” ret ort ed Miss Havisham . “ Very easily said! ” rem arked Cam illa, am iably repressing a sob, while a hit ch cam e int o her upper lip, and her t ears overflowed. “ Raym ond is a wit ness what ginger and sal volat ile I am obliged t o t ake in t he night . Raym ond is a wit ness what nervous j erkings I have in m y legs. Chokings and nervous j erkings, however, are not hing new t o m e when I t hink wit h anxiet y of t hose I love. I f I could be less affect ionat e and sensit ive, I should have a bet t er digest ion and an iron set of nerves. I am sure I wish it could be so. But as t o not t hinking of you in t he night —The idea! ” Here, a burst of t ears. 120

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The Raym ond referred t o, I underst ood t o be t he gent lem an present , and him I underst ood t o be Mr. Cam illa. He cam e t o t he rescue at t his point , and said in a consolat ory and com plim ent ary voice, “ Cam illa, m y dear, it is well known t hat your fam ily feelings are gradually underm ining you t o t he ext ent of m aking one of your legs short er t han t he ot her.” “ I am not aware,” observed t he grave lady whose voice I had heard but once, “ t hat t o t hink of any person is t o m ake a great claim upon t hat person, m y dear.” Miss Sarah Pocket , whom I now saw t o be a lit t le dry brown corrugat ed old wom an, wit h a sm all face t hat m ight have been m ade of walnut shells, and a large m out h like a cat 's wit hout t he whiskers, support ed t his posit ion by saying, “ No, indeed, m y dear. Hem ! ” “ Thinking is easy enough,” said t he grave lady. “ What is easier, you know?” assent ed Miss Sarah Pocket . “ Oh, yes, yes! ” cried Cam illa, whose ferm ent ing feelings appeared t o rise from her legs t o her bosom . “ I t 's all very t rue! I t 's a weakness t o be so affect ionat e, but I can't help it . No doubt m y healt h would be m uch bet t er if it was ot herwise, st ill I wouldn't change m y disposit ion if I could. I t 's t he cause of m uch suffering, but it 's a consolat ion t o know I posses it , when I wake up in t he night .” Here anot her burst of feeling. Miss Havisham and I had never st opped all t his t im e, but kept going round and round t he room : now, brushing against t he skirt s of t he visit ors: now, giving t hem t he whole lengt h of t he dism al cham ber. “ There's Mat t hew! ” said Cam illa. “ Never m ixing wit h any nat ural t ies, never com ing here t o see how Miss Havisham is! 121

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I have t aken t o t he sofa wit h m y st aylace cut , and have lain t here hours, insensible, wit h m y head over t he side, and m y hair all down, and m y feet I don't know where—” ( " Much higher t han your head, m y love,” said Mr. Cam illa.) “ I have gone off int o t hat st at e, hours and hours, on account of Mat t hew's st range and inexplicable conduct , and nobody has t hanked m e.” “ Really I m ust say I should t hink not ! ” int erposed t he grave lady. “ You see, m y dear,” added Miss Sarah Pocket ( a blandly vicious personage) , “ t he quest ion t o put t o yourself is, who did you expect t o t hank you, m y love?” “ Wit hout expect ing any t hanks, or anyt hing of t he sort ,” resum ed Cam illa, “ I have rem ained in t hat st at e, hours and hours, and Raym ond is a wit ness of t he ext ent t o which I have choked, and what t he t ot al inefficacy of ginger has been, and I have been heard at t he pianofort e- t uner's across t he st reet , where t he poor m ist aken children have even supposed it t o be pigeons cooing at a dist ance- and now t o be t old—.” Here Cam illa put her hand t o her t hroat , and began t o be quit e chem ical as t o t he form at ion of new com binat ions t here. When t his sam e Mat t hew was m ent ioned, Miss Havisham st opped m e and herself, and st ood looking at t he speaker. This change had a great influence in bringing Cam illa's chem ist ry t o a sudden end. “ Mat t hew will com e and see m e at last ,” said Miss Havisham , st ernly, when I am laid on t hat t able. That will be his place—t here,” st riking t he t able wit h her st ick, “ at m y head! And yours will be t here! And your husband's t here! And 122

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Sarah Pocket 's t here! And Georgiana's t here! Now you all know where t o t ake your st at ions when you com e t o feast upon m e. And now go! ” At t he m ent ion of each nam e, she had st ruck t he t able wit h her st ick in a new place. She now said, “ Walk m e, walk m e! ” and we went on again. “ I suppose t here's not hing t o be done,” exclaim ed Cam illa, “ but com ply and depart . I t 's som et hing t o have seen t he obj ect of one's love and dut y, for even so short a t im e. I shall t hink of it wit h a m elancholy sat isfact ion when I wake up in t he night . I wish Mat t hew could have t hat com fort , but he set s it at defiance. I am det erm ined not t o m ake a display of m y feelings, but it 's very hard t o be t old one want s t o feast on one's relat ions—as if one was a Giant —and t o be t old t o go. The bare idea! ” Mr. Cam illa int erposing, as Mrs. Cam illa laid her hand upon her heaving bosom , t hat lady assum ed an unnat ural fort it ude of m anner which I supposed t o be expressive of an int ent ion t o drop and choke when out of view, and kissing her hand t o Miss Havisham , was escort ed fort h. Sarah Pocket and Georgiana cont ended who should rem ain last ; but , Sarah was t oo knowing t o be out done, and am bled round Georgiana wit h t hat art ful slipperiness, t hat t he lat t er was obliged t o t ake precedence. Sarah Pocket t hen m ade her separat e effect of depart ing wit h “ Bless you, Miss Havisham dear! ” and wit h a sm ile of forgiving pit y on her walnut - shell count enance for t he weaknesses of t he rest . While Est ella was away light ing t hem down, Miss Havisham st ill walked wit h her hand on m y shoulder, but m ore and 123

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m ore slowly. At last she st opped before t he fire, and said, aft er m ut t ering and looking at it som e seconds: “ This is m y birt hday, Pip.” I was going t o wish her m any happy ret urns, when she lift ed her st ick. “ I don't suffer it t o be spoken of. I don't suffer t hose who were here j ust now, or any one, t o speak of it . They com e here on t he day, but t hey dare not refer t o it .” Of course I m ade no furt her effort t o refer t o it . “ On t his day of t he year, long before you were born, t his heap of decay,” st abbing wit h her crut ched st ick at t he pile of cobwebs on t he t able but not t ouching it , “ was brought here. I t and I have worn away t oget her. The m ice have gnawed at it , and sharper t eet h t han t eet h of m ice have gnawed at m e.” She held t he head of her st ick against her heart as she st ood looking at t he t able; she in her once whit e dress, all yellow and wit hered; t he once whit e clot h all yellow and wit hered; everyt hing around, in a st at e t o crum ble under a t ouch. “ When t he ruin is com plet e,” said she, wit h a ghast ly look, “ and when t hey lay m e dead, in m y bride's dress on t he bride's t able—which shall be done, and which will be t he finished curse upon him —so m uch t he bet t er if it is done on t his day! ” She st ood looking at t he t able as if she st ood looking at her own figure lying t here. I rem ained quiet . Est ella ret urned, and she t oo rem ained quiet . I t seem ed t o m e t hat we cont inued t hus for a long t im e. I n t he heavy air of t he room , and t he heavy darkness t hat brooded in it s rem ot er corners, I 124

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even had an alarm ing fancy t hat Est ella and I m ight present ly begin t o decay. At lengt h, not com ing out of her dist raught st at e by degrees, but in an inst ant , Miss Havisham said, “ Let m e see you t wo play cards; why have you not begun?” Wit h t hat , we ret urned t o her room , and sat down as before; I was beggared, as before; and again, as before, Miss Havisham wat ched us all t he t im e, direct ed m y at t ent ion t o Est ella's beaut y, and m ade m e not ice it t he m ore by t rying her j ewels on Est ella's breast and hair. Est ella, for her part , likewise t reat ed m e as before; except t hat she did not condescend t o speak. When we had played som e halfdozen gam es, a day was appoint ed for m y ret urn, and I was t aken down int o t he yard t o be fed in t he form er dog- like m anner. There, t oo, I was again left t o wander about as I liked. I t is not m uch t o t he purpose whet her a gat e in t hat garden wall which I had scram bled up t o peep over on t he last occasion was, on t hat last occasion, open or shut . Enough t hat I saw no gat e t hen, and t hat I saw one now. As it st ood open, and as I knew t hat Est ella had let t he visit ors out —for, she had ret urned wit h t he keys in her hand—I st rolled int o t he garden and st rolled all over it . I t was quit e a wilderness, and t here were old m elon- fram es and cucum ber- fram es in it , which seem ed in t heir decline t o have produced a spont aneous growt h of weak at t em pt s at pieces of old hat s and boot s, wit h now and t hen a weedy offshoot int o t he likeness of a bat t ered saucepan. 125

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When I had exhaust ed t he garden, and a greenhouse wit h not hing in it but a fallen- down grape- vine and som e bot t les, I found m yself in t he dism al corner upon which I had looked out of t he window. Never quest ioning for a m om ent t hat t he house was now em pt y, I looked in at anot her window, and found m yself, t o m y great surprise, exchanging a broad st are wit h a pale young gent lem an wit h red eyelids and light hair. This pale young gent lem an quickly disappeared, and reappeared beside m e. He had been at his books when I had found m yself st aring at him , and I now saw t hat he was inky. “ Halloa! ” said he, “ young fellow! ” Halloa being a general observat ion which I had usually observed t o be best answered by it self, I said, “ Halloa! ” polit ely om it t ing young fellow. “ Who let you in?” said he. “ Miss Est ella.” “ Who gave you leave t o prowl about ?” “ Miss Est ella.” “ Com e and fight ,” said t he pale young gent lem an. What could I do but follow him ? I have oft en asked m yself t he quest ion since: but , what else could I do? His m anner was so final and I was so ast onished, t hat I followed where he led, as if I had been under a spell. “ St op a m inut e, t hough,” he said, wheeling round before we had gone m any paces. “ I ought t o give you a reason for fight ing, t oo. There it is! ” I n a m ost irrit at ing m anner he inst ant ly slapped his hands against one anot her, daint ily flung one of his legs up behind him , pulled m y hair, slapped his hands again, dipped his head, and but t ed it int o m y st om ach. 126

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The bull- like proceeding last m ent ioned, besides t hat it was unquest ionably t o be regarded in t he light of a libert y, was part icularly disagreeable j ust aft er bread and m eat . I t herefore hit out at him and was going t o hit out again, when he said, “ Aha! Would you?” and began dancing backwards and forwards in a m anner quit e unparalleled wit hin m y lim it ed experience. “ Laws of t he gam e! ” said he. Here, he skipped from his left leg on t o his right . “ Regular rules! ” Here, he skipped from his right leg on t o his left . “ Com e t o t he ground, and go t hrough t he prelim inaries! ” Here, he dodged backwards and forwards, and did all sort s of t hings while I looked helplessly at him . I was secret ly afraid of him when I saw him so dext erous; but , I felt m orally and physically convinced t hat his light head of hair could have had no business in t he pit of m y st om ach, and t hat I had a right t o consider it irrelevant when so obt ruded on m y at t ent ion. Therefore, I followed him wit hout a word, t o a ret ired nook of t he garden, form ed by t he j unct ion of t wo walls and screened by som e rubbish. On his asking m e if I was sat isfied wit h t he ground, and on m y replying Yes, he begged m y leave t o absent him self for a m om ent , and quickly ret urned wit h a bot t le of wat er and a sponge dipped in vinegar. “ Available for bot h,” he said, placing t hese against t he wall. And t hen fell t o pulling off, not only his j acket and waist coat , but his shirt t oo, in a m anner at once light heart ed, businesslike, and bloodt hirst y. Alt hough he did not look very healt hy—having pim ples on his face, and a breaking out at his m out h—t hese dreadful preparat ions quit e appalled m e. I j udged him t o be about m y 127

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own age, but he was m uch t aller, and he had a way of spinning him self about t hat was full of appearance. For t he rest , he was a young gent lem an in a grey suit ( when not denuded for bat t le) , wit h his elbows, knees, wrist s, and heels, considerably in advance of t he rest of him as t o developm ent . My heart failed m e when I saw him squaring at m e wit h every dem onst rat ion of m echanical nicet y, and eyeing m y anat om y as if he were m inut ely choosing his bone. I never have been so surprised in m y life, as I was when I let out t he first blow, and saw him lying on his back, looking up at m e wit h a bloody nose and his face exceedingly fore- short ened. But , he was on his feet direct ly, and aft er sponging him self wit h a great show of dext erit y began squaring again. The second great est surprise I have ever had in m y life was seeing him on his back again, looking up at m e out of a black eye. His spirit inspired m e wit h great respect . He seem ed t o have no st rengt h, and he never once hit m e hard, and he was always knocked down; but , he would be up again in a m om ent , sponging him self or drinking out of t he wat er- bot t le, wit h t he great est sat isfact ion in seconding him self according t o form , and t hen cam e at m e wit h an air and a show t hat m ade m e believe he really was going t o do for m e at last . He got heavily bruised, for I am sorry t o record t hat t he m ore I hit him , t he harder I hit him ; but , he cam e up again and again and again, unt il at last he got a bad fall wit h t he back of his head against t he wall. Even aft er t hat crisis in our affairs, he got up and t urned round and round confusedly a few t im es, not knowing where I was; but finally went on his knees 128

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t o his sponge and t hrew it up: at t he sam e t im e pant ing out , “ That m eans you have won.” He seem ed so brave and innocent , t hat alt hough I had not proposed t he cont est I felt but a gloom y sat isfact ion in m y vict ory. I ndeed, I go so far as t o hope t hat I regarded m yself while dressing, as a species of savage young wolf, or ot her wild beast . However, I got dressed, darkly wiping m y sanguinary face at int ervals, and I said, “ Can I help you?” and he said “ No t hankee,” and I said “ Good aft ernoon,” and he said “ Sam e t o you.” When I got int o t he court - yard, I found Est ella wait ing wit h t he keys. But , she neit her asked m e where I had been, nor why I had kept her wait ing; and t here was a bright flush upon her face, as t hough som et hing had happened t o delight her. I nst ead of going st raight t o t he gat e, t oo, she st epped back int o t he passage, and beckoned m e. “ Com e here! You m ay kiss m e, if you like.” I kissed her cheek as she t urned it t o m e. I t hink I would have gone t hrough a great deal t o kiss her cheek. But , I felt t hat t he kiss was given t o t he coarse com m on boy as a piece of m oney m ight have been, and t hat it was wort h not hing. What wit h t he birt hday visit ors, and what wit h t he cards, and what wit h t he fight , m y st ay had last ed so long, t hat when I neared hom e t he light on t he spit of sand off t he point on t he m arshes was gleam ing against a black night - sky, and Joe's furnace was flinging a pat h of fire across t he road.

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Chapt er 12 My m ind grew very uneasy on t he subj ect of t he pale young gent lem an. The m ore I t hought of t he fight , and recalled t he pale young gent lem an on his back in various st ages of puffy and incrim soned count enance, t he m ore cert ain it appeared t hat som et hing would be done t o m e. I felt t hat t he pale young gent lem an's blood was on m y head, and t hat t he Law would avenge it . Wit hout having any definit e idea of t he penalt ies I had incurred, it was clear t o m e t hat village boys could not go st alking about t he count ry, ravaging t he houses of gent lefolks and pit ching int o t he st udious yout h of England, wit hout laying t hem selves open t o severe punishm ent . For som e days, I even kept close at hom e, and looked out at t he kit chen door wit h t he great est caut ion and t repidat ion before going on an errand, lest t he officers of t he Count y Jail should pounce upon m e. The pale young gent lem an's nose had st ained m y t rousers, and I t ried t o wash out t hat evidence of m y guilt in t he dead of night . I had cut m y knuckles against t he pale young gent lem an's t eet h, and I t wist ed m y im aginat ion int o a t housand t angles, as I devised incredible ways of account ing for t hat dam nat ory circum st ance when I should be haled before t he Judges. When t he day cam e round for m y ret urn t o t he scene of t he deed of violence, m y t errors reached t heir height . Whet her m yrm idons of Just ice, specially sent down from London, would be lying in am bush behind t he gat e? Whet her Miss Havisham , preferring t o t ake personal vengeance for an 130

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out rage done t o her house, m ight rise in t hose grave- clot hes of hers, draw a pist ol, and shoot m e dead? Whet her suborned boys—a num erous band of m ercenaries—m ight be engaged t o fall upon m e in t he brewery, and cuff m e unt il I was no m ore? I t was high t est im ony t o m y confidence in t he spirit of t he pale young gent lem an, t hat I never im agined him accessory t o t hese ret aliat ions; t hey always cam e int o m y m ind as t he act s of inj udicious relat ives of his, goaded on by t he st at e of his visage and an indignant sym pat hy wit h t he fam ily feat ures. However, go t o Miss Havisham 's I m ust , and go I did. And behold! not hing cam e of t he lat e st ruggle. I t was not alluded t o in any way, and no pale young gent lem an was t o be discovered on t he prem ises. I found t he sam e gat e open, and I explored t he garden, and even looked in at t he windows of t he det ached house; but , m y view was suddenly st opped by t he closed shut t ers wit hin, and all was lifeless. Only in t he corner where t he com bat had t aken place, could I det ect any evidence of t he young gent lem an's exist ence. There were t races of his gore in t hat spot , and I covered t hem wit h garden- m ould from t he eye of m an. On t he broad landing bet ween Miss Havisham 's own room and t hat ot her room in which t he long t able was laid out , I saw a garden- chair—a light chair on wheels, t hat you pushed from behind. I t had been placed t here since m y last visit , and I ent ered, t hat sam e day, on a regular occupat ion of pushing Miss Havisham in t his chair ( when she was t ired of walking wit h her hand upon m y shoulder) round her own room , and across t he landing, and round t he ot her room . Over and over 131

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and over again, we would m ake t hese j ourneys, and som et im es t hey would last as long as t hree hours at a st ret ch. I insensibly fall int o a general m ent ion of t hese j ourneys as num erous, because it was at once set t led t hat I should ret urn every alt ernat e day at noon for t hese purposes, and because I am now going t o sum up a period of at least eight or t en m ont hs. As we began t o be m ore used t o one anot her, Miss Havisham t alked m ore t o m e, and asked m e such quest ions as what had I learnt and what was I going t o be? I t old her I was going t o be apprent iced t o Joe, I believed; and I enlarged upon m y knowing not hing and want ing t o know everyt hing, in t he hope t hat she m ight offer som e help t owards t hat desirable end. But , she did not ; on t he cont rary, she seem ed t o prefer m y being ignorant . Neit her did she ever give m e any m oney—or anyt hing but m y daily dinner—nor ever st ipulat e t hat I should be paid for m y services. Est ella was always about , and always let m e in and out , but never t old m e I m ight kiss her again. Som et im es, she would coldly t olerat e m e; som et im es, she would condescend t o m e; som et im es, she would be quit e fam iliar wit h m e; som et im es, she would t ell m e energet ically t hat she hat ed m e. Miss Havisham would oft en ask m e in a whisper, or when we were alone, “ Does she grow pret t ier and pret t ier, Pip?” And when I said yes ( for indeed she did) , would seem t o enj oy it greedily. Also, when we played at cards Miss Havisham would look on, wit h a m iserly relish of Est ella's m oods, what ever t hey were. And som et im es, when her m oods were so m any and so cont radict ory of one anot her 132

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t hat I was puzzled what t o say or do, Miss Havisham would em brace her wit h lavish fondness, m urm uring som et hing in her ear t hat sounded like “ Break t heir heart s m y pride and hope, break t heir heart s and have no m ercy! ” There was a song Joe used t o hum fragm ent s of at t he forge, of which t he burden was Old Clem . This was not a very cerem onious way of rendering hom age t o a pat ron saint ; but , I believe Old Clem st ood in t hat relat ion t owards sm it hs. I t was a song t hat im it at ed t he m easure of beat ing upon iron, and was a m ere lyrical excuse for t he int roduct ion of Old Clem 's respect ed nam e. Thus, you were t o ham m er boys round—Old Clem ! Wit h a t hum p and a sound—Old Clem ! Beat it out , beat it out —Old Clem ! Wit h a clink for t he st out —Old Clem ! Blow t he fire, blow t he fire—Old Clem ! Roaring dryer, soaring higher—Old Clem ! One day soon aft er t he appearance of t he chair, Miss Havisham suddenly saying t o m e, wit h t he im pat ient m ovem ent of her fingers, “ There, t here, t here! Sing! ” I was surprised int o crooning t his dit t y as I pushed her over t he floor. I t happened so t o cat ch her fancy, t hat she t ook it up in a low brooding voice as if she were singing in her sleep. Aft er t hat , it becam e cust om ary wit h us t o have it as we m oved about , and Est ella would oft en j oin in; t hough t he whole st rain was so subdued, even when t here were t hree of us, t hat it m ade less noise in t he grim old house t han t he light est breat h of wind. What could I becom e wit h t hese surroundings? How could m y charact er fail t o be influenced by t hem ? I s it t o be wondered at if m y t hought s were dazed, as m y eyes were, 133

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when I cam e out int o t he nat ural light from t he m ist y yellow room s? Perhaps, I m ight have t old Joe about t he pale young gent lem an, if I had not previously been bet rayed int o t hose enorm ous invent ions t o which I had confessed. Under t he circum st ances, I felt t hat Joe could hardly fail t o discern in t he pale young gent lem an, an appropriat e passenger t o be put int o t he black velvet coach; t herefore, I said not hing of him . Besides: t hat shrinking from having Miss Havisham and Est ella discussed, which had com e upon m e in t he beginning, grew m uch m ore pot ent as t im e went on. I reposed com plet e confidence in no one but Biddy; but , I t old poor Biddy everyt hing. Why it cam e nat ural t o m e t o do so, and why Biddy had a deep concern in everyt hing I t old her, I did not know t hen, t hough I t hink I know now. Meanwhile, councils went on in t he kit chen at hom e, fraught wit h alm ost insupport able aggravat ion t o m y exasperat ed spirit . That ass, Pum blechook, used oft en t o com e over of a night for t he purpose of discussing m y prospect s wit h m y sist er; and I really do believe ( t o t his hour wit h less penit ence t han I ought t o feel) , t hat if t hese hands could have t aken a linchpin out of his chaise- cart , t hey would have done it . The m iserable m an was a m an of t hat confined st olidit y of m ind, t hat he could not discuss m y prospect s wit hout having m e before him —as it were, t o operat e upon— and he would drag m e up from m y st ool ( usually by t he collar) where I was quiet in a corner, and, put t ing m e before t he fire as if I were going t o be cooked, would begin by saying, “ Now, Mum , here is t his boy! Here is t his boy which 134

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you brought up by hand. Hold up your head, boy, and be for ever grat eful unt o t hem which so did do. Now, Mum , wit h respect ions t o t his boy! ” And t hen he would rum ple m y hair t he wrong way—which from m y earliest rem em brance, as already hint ed, I have in m y soul denied t he right of any fellow- creat ure t o do—and would hold m e before him by t he sleeve: a spect acle of im becilit y only t o be equalled by him self. Then, he and m y sist er would pair off in such nonsensical speculat ions about Miss Havisham , and about what she would do wit h m e and for m e, t hat I used t o want —quit e painfully— t o burst int o spit eful t ears, fly at Pum blechook, and pum m el him all over. I n t hese dialogues, m y sist er spoke t o m e as if she were m orally wrenching one of m y t eet h out at every reference; while Pum blechook him self, self- const it ut ed m y pat ron, would sit supervising m e wit h a depreciat ory eye, like t he archit ect of m y fort unes who t hought him self engaged on a very unrem unerat ive j ob. I n t hese discussions, Joe bore no part . But he was oft en t alked at , while t hey were in progress, by reason of Mrs. Joe's perceiving t hat he was not favourable t o m y being t aken from t he forge. I was fully old enough now, t o be apprent iced t o Joe; and when Joe sat wit h t he poker on his knees t hought fully raking out t he ashes bet ween t he lower bars, m y sist er would so dist inct ly const rue t hat innocent act ion int o opposit ion on his part , t hat she would dive at him , t ake t he poker out of his hands, shake him , and put it away. There was a m ost irrit at ing end t o every one of t hese debat es. All in a m om ent , wit h not hing t o lead up t o it , m y sist er would st op 135

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herself in a yawn, and cat ching sight of m e as it were incident ally, would swoop upon m e wit h, “ Com e! t here's enough of you! You get along t o bed; you've given t rouble enough for one night , I hope! ” As if I had besought t hem as a favour t o bot her m y life out . We went on in t his way for a long t im e, and it seem ed likely t hat we should cont inue t o go on in t his way for a long t im e, when, one day, Miss Havisham st opped short as she and I were walking, she leaning on m y shoulder; and said wit h som e displeasure: “ You are growing t all, Pip! ” I t hought it best t o hint , t hrough t he m edium of a m edit at ive look, t hat t his m ight be occasioned by circum st ances over which I had no cont rol. She said no m ore at t he t im e; but , she present ly st opped and looked at m e again; and present ly again; and aft er t hat , looked frowning and m oody. On t he next day of m y at t endance when our usual exercise was over, and I had landed her at her dressingt able, she st ayed m e wit h a m ovem ent of her im pat ient fingers: “ Tell m e t he nam e again of t hat blacksm it h of yours.” “ Joe Gargery, m a'am .” “ Meaning t he m ast er you were t o be apprent iced t o?” “ Yes, Miss Havisham .” “ You had bet t er be apprent iced at once. Would Gargery com e here wit h you, and bring your indent ures, do you t hink?” I signified t hat I had no doubt he would t ake it as an honour t o be asked. 136

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“ Then let him com e.” “ At any part icular t im e, Miss Havisham ?” “ There, t here! I know not hing about t im es. Let him com e soon, and com e along wit h you.” When I got hom e at night , and delivered t his m essage for Joe, m y sist er “ went on t he Ram page,” in a m ore alarm ing degree t han at any previous period. She asked m e and Joe whet her we supposed she was door- m at s under our feet , and how we dared t o use her so, and what com pany we graciously t hought she was fit for? When she had exhaust ed a t orrent of such inquiries, she t hrew a candlest ick at Joe, burst int o a loud sobbing, got out t he dust pan—which was always a very bad sign—put on her coarse apron, and began cleaning up t o a t errible ext ent . Not sat isfied wit h a dry cleaning, she t ook t o a pail and scrubbing- brush, and cleaned us out of house and hom e, so t hat we st ood shivering in t he back- yard. I t was t en o'clock at night before we vent ured t o creep in again, and t hen she asked Joe why he hadn't m arried a Negress Slave at once? Joe offered no answer, poor fellow, but st ood feeling his whisker and looking dej ect edly at m e, as if he t hought it really m ight have been a bet t er speculat ion.

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Chapt er 13 I t was a t rial t o m y feelings, on t he next day but one, t o see Joe arraying him self in his Sunday clot hes t o accom pany m e t o Miss Havisham 's. However, as he t hought his court - suit necessary t o t he occasion, it was not for m e t ell him t hat he looked far bet t er in his working dress; t he rat her, because I knew he m ade him self so dreadfully uncom fort able, ent irely on m y account , and t hat it was for m e he pulled up his shirt collar so very high behind, t hat it m ade t he hair on t he crown of his head st and up like a t uft of feat hers. At breakfast t im e m y sist er declared her int ent ion of going t o t own wit h us, and being left at Uncle Pum blechook's and called for “ when we had done wit h our fine ladies" —a way of put t ing t he case, from which Joe appeared inclined t o augur t he worst . The forge was shut up for t he day, and Joe inscribed in chalk upon t he door ( as it was his cust om t o do on t he very rare occasions when he was not at work) t he m onosyllable hout , accom panied by a sket ch of an arrow supposed t o be flying in t he direct ion he had t aken. We walked t o t own, m y sist er leading t he way in a very large beaver bonnet , and carrying a basket like t he Great Seal of England in plait ed st raw, a pair of pat t ens, a spare shawl, and an um brella, t hough it was a fine bright day. I am not quit e clear whet her t hese art icles were carried penit ent ially or ost ent at iously; but , I rat her t hink t hey were displayed as art icles of propert y—m uch as Cleopat ra or any 138

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ot her sovereign lady on t he Ram page m ight exhibit her wealt h in a pageant or procession. When we cam e t o Pum blechook's, m y sist er bounced in and left us. As it was alm ost noon, Joe and I held st raight on t o Miss Havisham 's house. Est ella opened t he gat e as usual, and, t he m om ent she appeared, Joe t ook his hat off and st ood weighing it by t he brim in bot h his hands: as if he had som e urgent reason in his m ind for being part icular t o half a quart er of an ounce. Est ella t ook no not ice of eit her of us, but led us t he way t hat I knew so well. I followed next t o her, and Joe cam e last . When I looked back at Joe in t he long passage, he was st ill weighing his hat wit h t he great est care, and was com ing aft er us in long st rides on t he t ips of his t oes. Est ella t old m e we were bot h t o go in, so I t ook Joe by t he coat - cuff and conduct ed him int o Miss Havisham 's presence. She was seat ed at her dressing- t able, and looked round at us im m ediat ely. “ Oh! ” said she t o Joe. “ You are t he husband of t he sist er of t his boy?” I could hardly have im agined dear old Joe looking so unlike him self or so like som e ext raordinary bird; st anding, as he did, speechless, wit h his t uft of feat hers ruffled, and his m out h open, as if he want ed a worm . “ You are t he husband,” repeat ed Miss Havisham , “ of t he sist er of t his boy?” I t was very aggravat ing; but , t hroughout t he int erview Joe persist ed in addressing Me inst ead of Miss Havisham . 139

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“ Which I m eant ersay, Pip,” Joe now observed in a m anner t hat was at once expressive of forcible argum ent at ion, st rict confidence, and great polit eness, “ as I hup and m arried your sist er, and I were at t he t im e what you m ight call ( if you was anyways inclined) a single m an.” “ Well! ” said Miss Havisham . “ And you have reared t he boy, wit h t he int ent ion of t aking him for your apprent ice; is t hat so, Mr. Gargery?” “ You know, Pip,” replied Joe, “ as you and m e were ever friends, and it were looked for'ard t o bet wixt us, as being calc'lat ed t o lead t o larks. Not but what , Pip, if you had ever m ade obj ect ions t o t he business—such as it s being open t o black and sut , or such- like—not but what t hey would have been at t ended t o, don't you see?” “ Has t he boy,” said Miss Havisham , “ ever m ade any obj ect ion? Does he like t he t rade?” “ Which it is well beknown t o yourself, Pip,” ret urned Joe, st rengt hening his form er m ixt ure of argum ent at ion, confidence, and polit eness, “ t hat it were t he wish of your own hart .” ( I saw t he idea suddenly break upon him t hat he would adapt his epit aph t o t he occasion, before he went on t o say) “ And t here weren't no obj ect ion on your part , and Pip it were t he great wish of your heart ! ” I t was quit e in vain for m e t o endeavour t o m ake him sensible t hat he ought t o speak t o Miss Havisham . The m ore I m ade faces and gest ures t o him t o do it , t he m ore confident ial, argum ent at ive, and polit e, he persist ed in being t o Me. 140

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“ Have you brought his indent ures wit h you?” asked Miss Havisham . “ Well, Pip, you know,” replied Joe, as if t hat were a lit t le unreasonable, “ you yourself see m e put ‘em in m y ‘at , and t herefore you know as t hey are here.” Wit h which he t ook t hem out , and gave t hem , not t o Miss Havisham , but t o m e. I am afraid I was asham ed of t he dear good fellow—I know I was asham ed of him —when I saw t hat Est ella st ood at t he back of Miss Havisham 's chair, and t hat her eyes laughed m ischievously. I t ook t he indent ures out of his hand and gave t hem t o Miss Havisham . “ You expect ed,” said Miss Havisham , as she looked t hem over, “ no prem ium wit h t he boy?” “ Joe! ” I rem onst rat ed; for he m ade no reply at all. “ Why don't you answer—” “ Pip,” ret urned Joe, cut t ing m e short as if he were hurt , “ which I m eant ersay t hat were not a quest ion requiring a answer bet wixt yourself and m e, and which you know t he answer t o be full well No. You know it t o be No, Pip, and wherefore should I say it ?” Miss Havisham glanced at him as if she underst ood what he really was, bet t er t han I had t hought possible, seeing what he was t here; and t ook up a lit t le bag from t he t able beside her. “ Pip has earned a prem ium here,” she said, “ and here it is. There are five- and- t went y guineas in t his bag. Give it t o your m ast er, Pip.”

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As if he were absolut ely out of his m ind wit h t he wonder awakened in him by her st range figure and t he st range room , Joe, even at t his pass, persist ed in addressing m e. “ This is wery liberal on your part , Pip,” said Joe, “ and it is as such received and grat eful welcom e, t hough never looked for, far nor near nor nowheres. And now, old chap,” said Joe, conveying t o m e a sensat ion, first of burning and t hen of freezing, for I felt as if t hat fam iliar expression were applied t o Miss Havisham ; “ and now, old chap, m ay we do our dut y! May you and m e do our dut y, bot h on us by one and anot her, and by t hem which your liberal present —have—conweyed—t o be—for t he sat isfact ion of m ind—of—t hem as never—” here Joe showed t hat he felt he had fallen int o fright ful difficult ies, unt il he t rium phant ly rescued him self wit h t he words, “ and from m yself far be it ! ” These words had such a round and convincing sound for him t hat he said t hem t wice. “ Good- bye, Pip! ” said Miss Havisham . “ Let t hem out , Est ella.” “ Am I t o com e again, Miss Havisham ?” I asked. “ No. Gargery is your m ast er now. Gargery! One word! ” Thus calling him back as I went out of t he door, I heard her say t o Joe, in a dist inct em phat ic voice, “ The boy has been a good boy here, and t hat is his reward. Of course, as an honest m an, you will expect no ot her and no m ore.” How Joe got out of t he room , I have never been able t o det erm ine; but , I know t hat when he did get out he was st eadily proceeding up- st airs inst ead of com ing down, and was deaf t o all rem onst rances unt il I went aft er him and laid 142

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hold of him . I n anot her m inut e we were out side t he gat e, and it was locked, and Est ella was gone. When we st ood in t he daylight alone again, Joe backed up against a wall, and said t o m e, “ Ast onishing! ” And t here he rem ained so long, saying “ Ast onishing” at int ervals, so oft en, t hat I began t o t hink his senses were never com ing back. At lengt h he prolonged his rem ark int o “ Pip, I do assure you t his is as- t onishing! ” and so, by degrees, becam e conversat ional and able t o walk away. I have reason t o t hink t hat Joe's int ellect s were bright ened by t he encount er t hey had passed t hrough, and t hat on our way t o Pum blechook's he invent ed a subt le and deep design. My reason is t o be found in what t ook place in Mr. Pum blechook's parlour: where, on our present ing ourselves, m y sist er sat in conference wit h t hat det est ed seedsm an. “ Well?” cried m y sist er, addressing us bot h at once. “ And what 's happened t o you? I wonder you condescend t o com e back t o such poor societ y as t his, I am sure I do! ” “ Miss Havisham ,” said Joe, wit h a fixed look at m e, like an effort of rem em brance, “ m ade it wery part ick'ler t hat we should give her—were it com plim ent s or respect s, Pip?” “ Com plim ent s,” I said. “ Which t hat were m y own belief,” answered Joe—" her com plim ent s t o Mrs. J. Gargery—” “ Much good t hey'll do m e! ” observed m y sist er; but rat her grat ified t oo. “ And wishing,” pursued Joe, wit h anot her fixed look at m e, like anot her effort of rem em brance, “ t hat t he st at e of Miss 143

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Havisham 's elt h were sit ch as would have—allowed, were it , Pip?” “ Of her having t he pleasure,” I added. “ Of ladies’ com pany,” said Joe. And drew a long breat h. “ Well! ” cried m y sist er, wit h a m ollified glance at Mr. Pum blechook. “ She m ight have had t he polit eness t o send t hat m essage at first , but it 's bet t er lat e t han never. And what did she give young Rant ipole here?” “ She giv’ him ,” said Joe, “ not hing.” Mrs. Joe was going t o break out , but Joe went on. “ What she giv',” said Joe, “ she giv’ t o his friends. ‘And by his friends,’ were her explanat ion, ‘I m ean int o t he hands of his sist er Mrs. J. Gargery.’ Them were her words; ‘Mrs. J. Gargery.’ She m ayn't have know'd,” added Joe, wit h an appearance of reflect ion, “ whet her it were Joe, or Jorge.” My sist er looked at Pum blechook: who sm oot hed t he elbows of his wooden arm chair, and nodded at her and at t he fire, as if he had known all about it beforehand. “ And how m uch have you got ?” asked m y sist er, laughing. Posit ively, laughing! “ What would present com pany say t o t en pound?” dem anded Joe. “ They'd say,” ret urned m y sist er, curt ly, “ pret t y well. Not t oo m uch, but pret t y well.” “ I t 's m ore t han t hat , t hen,” said Joe. That fearful I m post or, Pum blechook, im m ediat ely nodded, and said, as he rubbed t he arm s of his chair: “ I t 's m ore t han t hat , Mum .” “ Why, you don't m ean t o say—” began m y sist er. 144

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“ Yes I do, Mum ,” said Pum blechook; “ but wait a bit . Go on, Joseph. Good in you! Go on! ” “ What would present com pany say,” proceeded Joe, “ t o t went y pound?” “ Handsom e would be t he word,” ret urned m y sist er. “ Well, t hen,” said Joe, “ I t 's m ore t han t went y pound.” That abj ect hypocrit e, Pum blechook, nodded again, and said, wit h a pat ronizing laugh, “ I t 's m ore t han t hat , Mum . Good again! Follow her up, Joseph! ” “ Then t o m ake an end of it ,” said Joe, delight edly handing t he bag t o m y sist er; “ it 's five- and- t went y pound.” “ I t 's five- and- t went y pound, Mum ,” echoed t hat basest of swindlers, Pum blechook, rising t o shake hands wit h her; “ and it 's no m ore t han your m erit s ( as I said when m y opinion was asked) , and I wish you j oy of t he m oney! ” I f t he villain had st opped here, his case would have been sufficient ly awful, but he blackened his guilt by proceeding t o t ake m e int o cust ody, wit h a right of pat ronage t hat left all his form er crim inalit y far behind. “ Now you see, Joseph and wife,” said Pum blechook, as he t ook m e by t he arm above t he elbow, “ I am one of t hem t hat always go right t hrough wit h what t hey've begun. This boy m ust be bound, out of hand. That 's m y way. Bound out of hand.” “ Goodness knows, Uncle Pum blechook,” said m y sist er ( grasping t he m oney) , “ we're deeply beholden t o you.” “ Never m ind m e, Mum , ret urned t hat diabolical cornchandler. “ A pleasure's a pleasure, all t he world over. But t his 145

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boy, you know; we m ust have him bound. I said I 'd see t o it —t o t ell you t he t rut h.” The Just ices were sit t ing in t he Town Hall near at hand, and we at once went over t o have m e bound apprent ice t o Joe in t he Magist erial presence. I say, we went over, but I was pushed over by Pum blechook, exact ly as if I had t hat m om ent picked a pocket or fired a rick; indeed, it was t he general im pression in Court t hat I had been t aken redhanded, for, as Pum blechook shoved m e before him t hrough t he crowd, I heard som e people say, “ What 's he done?” and ot hers, “ He's a young ‘un, t oo, but looks bad, don't he? One person of m ild and benevolent aspect even gave m e a t ract ornam ent ed wit h a woodcut of a m alevolent young m an fit t ed up wit h a perfect sausage- shop of fet t ers, and ent it led, To Be Read in My Cell. The Hall was a queer place, I t hought , wit h higher pews in it t han a church—and wit h people hanging over t he pews looking on—and wit h m ight y Just ices ( one wit h a powdered head) leaning back in chairs, wit h folded arm s, or t aking snuff, or going t o sleep, or writ ing, or reading t he newspapers—and wit h som e shining black port rait s on t he walls, which m y unart ist ic eye regarded as a com posit ion of hardbake and st icking- plaist er. Here, in a corner, m y indent ures were duly signed and at t est ed, and I was “ bound; ” Mr. Pum blechook holding m e all t he while as if we had looked in on our way t o t he scaffold, t o have t hose lit t le prelim inaries disposed of. When we had com e out again, and had got rid of t he boys who had been put int o great spirit s by t he expect at ion of 146

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seeing m e publicly t ort ured, and who were m uch disappoint ed t o find t hat m y friends were m erely rallying round m e, we went back t o Pum blechook's. And t here m y sist er becam e so excit ed by t he t went y- five guineas, t hat not hing would serve her but we m ust have a dinner out of t hat windfall, at t he Blue Boar, and t hat Pum blechook m ust go over in his chaisecart , and bring t he Hubbles and Mr. Wopsle. I t was agreed t o be done; and a m ost m elancholy day I passed. For, it inscrut ably appeared t o st and t o reason, in t he m inds of t he whole com pany, t hat I was an excrescence on t he ent ert ainm ent . And t o m ake it worse, t hey all asked m e from t im e t o t im e—in short , whenever t hey had not hing else t o do—why I didn't enj oy m yself. And what could I possibly do t hen, but say I was enj oying m yself—when I wasn't ? However, t hey were grown up and had t heir own way, and t hey m ade t he m ost of it . That swindling Pum blechook, exalt ed int o t he beneficent cont river of t he whole occasion, act ually t ook t he t op of t he t able; and, when he addressed t hem on t he subj ect of m y being bound, and had fiendishly congrat ulat ed t hem on m y being liable t o im prisonm ent if I played at cards, drank st rong liquors, kept lat e hours or bad com pany, or indulged in ot her vagaries which t he form of m y indent ures appeared t o cont em plat e as next t o inevit able, he placed m e st anding on a chair beside him , t o illust rat e his rem arks. My only ot her rem em brances of t he great fest ival are, That t hey wouldn't let m e go t o sleep, but whenever t hey saw m e dropping off, woke m e up and t old m e t o enj oy m yself. That , rat her lat e in t he evening Mr. Wopsle gave us Collins's ode, 147

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and t hrew his bloodst ain'd sword in t hunder down, wit h such effect , t hat a wait er cam e in and said, “ The Com m ercials underneat h sent up t heir com plim ent s, and it wasn't t he Tum blers’ Arm s.” That , t hey were all in excellent spirit s on t he road hom e, and sang O Lady Fair! Mr. Wopsle t aking t he bass, and assert ing wit h a t rem endously st rong voice ( in reply t o t he inquisit ive bore who leads t hat piece of m usic in a m ost im pert inent m anner, by want ing t o know all about everybody's privat e affairs) t hat he was t he m an wit h his whit e locks flowing, and t hat he was upon t he whole t he weakest pilgrim going. Finally, I rem em ber t hat when I got int o m y lit t le bedroom I was t ruly wret ched, and had a st rong convict ion on m e t hat I should never like Joe's t rade. I had liked it once, but once was not now.

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Chapt er 14 I t is a m ost m iserable t hing t o feel asham ed of hom e. There m ay be black ingrat it ude in t he t hing, and t he punishm ent m ay be ret ribut ive and well deserved; but , t hat it is a m iserable t hing, I can t est ify. Hom e had never been a very pleasant place t o m e, because of m y sist er's t em per. But , Joe had sanct ified it , and I had believed in it . I had believed in t he best parlour as a m ost elegant saloon; I had believed in t he front door, as a m yst erious port al of t he Tem ple of St at e whose solem n opening was at t ended wit h a sacrifice of roast fowls; I had believed in t he kit chen as a chast e t hough not m agnificent apart m ent ; I had believed in t he forge as t he glowing road t o m anhood and independence. Wit hin a single year, all t his was changed. Now, it was all coarse and com m on, and I would not have had Miss Havisham and Est ella see it on any account . How m uch of m y ungracious condit ion of m ind m ay have been m y own fault , how m uch Miss Havisham 's, how m uch m y sist er's, is now of no m om ent t o m e or t o any one. The change was m ade in m e; t he t hing was done. Well or ill done, excusably or inexcusably, it was done. Once, it had seem ed t o m e t hat when I should at last roll up m y shirt - sleeves and go int o t he forge, Joe's ‘prent ice, I should be dist inguished and happy. Now t he realit y was in m y hold, I only felt t hat I was dust y wit h t he dust of sm all coal, and t hat I had a weight upon m y daily rem em brance t o which t he anvil was a feat her. There have been occasions in m y 149

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lat er life ( I suppose as in m ost lives) when I have felt for a t im e as if a t hick curt ain had fallen on all it s int erest and rom ance, t o shut m e out from anyt hing save dull endurance any m ore. Never has t hat curt ain dropped so heavy and blank, as when m y way in life lay st ret ched out st raight before m e t hrough t he newly- ent ered road of apprent iceship t o Joe. I rem em ber t hat at a lat er period of m y “ t im e,” I used t o st and about t he churchyard on Sunday evenings when night was falling, com paring m y own perspect ive wit h t he windy m arsh view, and m aking out som e likeness bet ween t hem by t hinking how flat and low bot h were, and how on bot h t here cam e an unknown way and a dark m ist and t hen t he sea. I was quit e as dej ect ed on t he first working- day of m y apprent iceship as in t hat aft er- t im e; but I am glad t o know t hat I never breat hed a m urm ur t o Joe while m y indent ures last ed. I t is about t he only t hing I am glad t o know of m yself in t hat connect ion. For, t hough it includes what I proceed t o add, all t he m erit of what I proceed t o add was Joe's. I t was not because I was fait hful, but because Joe was fait hful, t hat I never ran away and went for a soldier or a sailor. I t was not because I had a st rong sense of t he virt ue of indust ry, but because Joe had a st rong sense of t he virt ue of indust ry, t hat I worked wit h t olerable zeal against t he grain. I t is not possible t o know how far t he influence of any am iable honest - heart ed dut y- doing m an flies out int o t he world; but it is very possible t o know how it has t ouched one's self in going by, and I know right well, t hat any good t hat int erm ixed it self wit h m y 150

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apprent iceship cam e of plain cont ent ed Joe, and not of rest lessly aspiring discont ent ed m e. What I want ed, who can say? How can I say, when I never knew? What I dreaded was, t hat in som e unlucky hour I , being at m y grim iest and com m onest , should lift up m y eyes and see Est ella looking in at one of t he wooden windows of t he forge. I was haunt ed by t he fear t hat she would, sooner or lat er, find m e out , wit h a black face and hands, doing t he coarsest part of m y work, and would exult over m e and despise m e. Oft en aft er dark, when I was pulling t he bellows for Joe, and we were singing Old Clem , and when t he t hought how we used t o sing it at Miss Havisham 's would seem t o show m e Est ella's face in t he fire, wit h her pret t y hair flut t ering in t he wind and her eyes scorning m e,—oft en at such a t im e I would look t owards t hose panels of black night in t he wall which t he wooden windows t hen were, and would fancy t hat I saw her j ust drawing her face away, and would believe t hat she had com e at last . Aft er t hat , when we went in t o supper, t he place and t he m eal would have a m ore hom ely look t han ever, and I would feel m ore asham ed of hom e t han ever, in m y own ungracious breast .

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Chapt er 15 As I was get t ing t oo big for Mr. Wopsle's great - aunt 's room , m y educat ion under t hat prepost erous fem ale t erm inat ed. Not , however, unt il Biddy had im part ed t o m e everyt hing she knew, from t he lit t le cat alogue of prices, t o a com ic song she had once bought for a halfpenny. Alt hough t he only coherent part of t he lat t er piece of lit erat ure were t he opening lines, When I went t o Lunnon t own sirs, Too rul loo rul Too rul loo rul Wasn't I done very brown sirs? Too rul loo rul Too rul loo rul —st ill, in m y desire t o be wiser, I got t his com posit ion by heart wit h t he ut m ost gravit y; nor do I recollect t hat I quest ioned it s m erit , except t hat I t hought ( as I st ill do) t he am ount of Too rul som ewhat in excess of t he poet ry. I n m y hunger for inform at ion, I m ade proposals t o Mr. Wopsle t o best ow som e int ellect ual crum bs upon m e; wit h which he kindly com plied. As it t urned out , however, t hat he only want ed m e for a dram at ic lay- figure, t o be cont radict ed and em braced and wept over and bullied and clut ched and st abbed and knocked about in a variet y of ways, I soon declined t hat course of inst ruct ion; t hough not unt il Mr. Wopsle in his poet ic fury had severely m auled m e. 152

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What ever I acquired, I t ried t o im part t o Joe. This st at em ent sounds so well, t hat I cannot in m y conscience let it pass unexplained. I want ed t o m ake Joe less ignorant and com m on, t hat he m ight be wort hier of m y societ y and less open t o Est ella's reproach. The old Bat t ery out on t he m arshes was our place of st udy, and a broken slat e and a short piece of slat e pencil were our educat ional im plem ent s: t o which Joe always added a pipe of t obacco. I never knew Joe t o rem em ber anyt hing from one Sunday t o anot her, or t o acquire, under m y t uit ion, any piece of inform at ion what ever. Yet he would sm oke his pipe at t he Bat t ery wit h a far m ore sagacious air t han anywhere else— even wit h a learned air—as if he considered him self t o be advancing im m ensely. Dear fellow, I hope he did. I t was pleasant and quiet , out t here wit h t he sails on t he river passing beyond t he eart hwork, and som et im es, when t he t ide was low, looking as if t hey belonged t o sunken ships t hat were st ill sailing on at t he bot t om of t he wat er. Whenever I wat ched t he vessels st anding out t o sea wit h t heir whit e sails spread, I som ehow t hought of Miss Havisham and Est ella; and whenever t he light st ruck aslant , afar off, upon a cloud or sail or green hill- side or wat er- line, it was j ust t he sam e.—Miss Havisham and Est ella and t he st range house and t he st range life appeared t o have som et hing t o do wit h everyt hing t hat was pict uresque. One Sunday when Joe, great ly enj oying his pipe, had so plum ed him self on being “ m ost awful dull,” t hat I had given him up for t he day, I lay on t he eart hwork for som e t im e wit h m y chin on m y hand, descrying t races of Miss Havisham and 153

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Est ella all over t he prospect , in t he sky and in t he wat er, unt il at last I resolved t o m ent ion a t hought concerning t hem t hat had been m uch in m y head. “ Joe,” said I ; “ don't you t hink I ought t o m ake Miss Havisham a visit ?” “ Well, Pip,” ret urned Joe, slowly considering. “ What for?” “ What for, Joe? What is any visit m ade for?” “ There is som e wisit s, p'r'aps,” said Joe, “ as for ever rem ains open t o t he quest ion, Pip. But in regard t o wisit ing Miss Havisham . She m ight t hink you want ed som et hing— expect ed som et hing of her.” “ Don't you t hink I m ight say t hat I did not , Joe?” “ You m ight , old chap,” said Joe. “ And she m ight credit it . Sim ilarly she m ight n't .” Joe felt , as I did, t hat he had m ade a point t here, and he pulled hard at his pipe t o keep him self from weakening it by repet it ion. “ You see, Pip,” Joe pursued, as soon as he was past t hat danger, “ Miss Havisham done t he handsom e t hing by you. When Miss Havisham done t he handsom e t hing by you, she called m e back t o say t o m e as t hat were all.” “ Yes, Joe. I heard her.” “ All,” Joe repeat ed, very em phat ically. “ Yes, Joe. I t ell you, I heard her.” “ Which I m eant ersay, Pip, it m ight be t hat her m eaning were—Make a end on it ! —As you was! —Me t o t he Nort h, and you t o t he Sout h! —Keep in sunders! ”

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I had t hought of t hat t oo, and it was very far from com fort ing t o m e t o find t hat he had t hought of it ; for it seem ed t o render it m ore probable. “ But , Joe.” “ Yes, old chap.” “ Here am I , get t ing on in t he first year of m y t im e, and, since t he day of m y being bound, I have never t hanked Miss Havisham , or asked aft er her, or shown t hat I rem em ber her.” “ That 's t rue, Pip; and unless you was t o t urn her out a set of shoes all four round—and which I m eant ersay as even a set of shoes all four round m ight not be accept able as a present , in a t ot al wacancy of hoofs—” “ I don't m ean t hat sort of rem em brance, Joe; I don't m ean a present .” But Joe had got t he idea of a present in his head and m ust harp upon it . “ Or even,” said he, “ if you was helped t o knocking her up a new chain for t he front door—or say a gross or t wo of shark- headed screws for general use—or som e light fancy art icle, such as a t oast ing- fork when she t ook her m uffins—or a gridiron when she t ook a sprat or such like—” “ I don't m ean any present at all, Joe,” I int erposed. “ Well,” said Joe, st ill harping on it as t hough I had part icularly pressed it , “ if I was yourself, Pip, I wouldn't . No, I would not . For what 's a door- chain when she's got one always up? And shark- headers is open t o m isrepresent at ions. And if it was a t oast ing- fork, you'd go int o brass and do yourself no credit . And t he oncom m onest workm an can't show him self 155

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oncom m on in a gridiron—for a gridiron I S a gridiron,” said Joe, st eadfast ly im pressing it upon m e, as if he were endeavouring t o rouse m e from a fixed delusion, “ and you m ay haim at what you like, but a gridiron it will com e out , eit her by your leave or again your leave, and you can't help yourself—” “ My dear Joe,” I cried, in desperat ion, t aking hold of his coat , “ don't go on in t hat way. I never t hought of m aking Miss Havisham any present .” “ No, Pip,” Joe assent ed, as if he had been cont ending for t hat , all along; “ and what I say t o you is, you are right , Pip.” “ Yes, Joe; but what I want ed t o say, was, t hat as we are rat her slack j ust now, if you would give m e a half- holiday t om orrow, I t hink I would go up- t own and m ake a call on Miss Est —Havisham .” “ Which her nam e,” said Joe, gravely, “ ain't Est avisham , Pip, unless she have been rechris'ened.” “ I know, Joe, I know. I t was a slip of m ine. What do you t hink of it , Joe?” I n brief, Joe t hought t hat if I t hought well of it , he t hought well of it . But , he was part icular in st ipulat ing t hat if I were not received wit h cordialit y, or if I were not encouraged t o repeat m y visit as a visit which had no ult erior obj ect but was sim ply one of grat it ude for a favour received, t hen t his experim ent al t rip should have no successor. By t hese condit ions I prom ised t o abide. Now, Joe kept a j ourneym an at weekly wages whose nam e was Orlick. He pret ended t hat his Christ ian nam e was Dolge— a clear im possibilit y—but he was a fellow of t hat obst inat e 156

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disposit ion t hat I believe him t o have been t he prey of no delusion in t his part icular, but wilfully t o have im posed t hat nam e upon t he village as an affront t o it s underst anding. He was a broadshouldered loose- lim bed swart hy fellow of great st rengt h, never in a hurry, and always slouching. He never even seem ed t o com e t o his work on purpose, but would slouch in as if by m ere accident ; and when he went t o t he Jolly Bargem en t o eat his dinner, or went away at night , he would slouch out , like Cain or t he Wandering Jew, as if he had no idea where he was going and no int ent ion of ever com ing back. He lodged at a sluice- keeper's out on t he m arshes, and on working days would com e slouching from his herm it age, wit h his hands in his pocket s and his dinner loosely t ied in a bundle round his neck and dangling on his back. On Sundays he m ost ly lay all day on t he sluice- gat es, or st ood against ricks and barns. He always slouched, locom ot ively, wit h his eyes on t he ground; and, when accost ed or ot herwise required t o raise t hem , he looked up in a half resent ful, half puzzled way, as t hough t he only t hought he ever had, was, t hat it was rat her an odd and inj urious fact t hat he should never be t hinking. This m orose j ourneym an had no liking for m e. When I was very sm all and t im id, he gave m e t o underst and t hat t he Devil lived in a black corner of t he forge, and t hat he knew t he fiend very well: also t hat it was necessary t o m ake up t he fire, once in seven years, wit h a live boy, and t hat I m ight consider m yself fuel. When I becam e Joe's ‘prent ice, Orlick was perhaps confirm ed in som e suspicion t hat I should displace him ; howbeit , he liked m e st ill less. Not t hat he ever 157

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said anyt hing, or did anyt hing, openly im port ing host ilit y; I only not iced t hat he always beat his sparks in m y direct ion, and t hat whenever I sang Old Clem , he cam e in out of t im e. Dolge Orlick was at work and present , next day, when I rem inded Joe of m y half- holiday. He said not hing at t he m om ent , for he and Joe had j ust got a piece of hot iron bet ween t hem , and I was at t he bellows; but by- and- by he said, leaning on his ham m er: “ Now, m ast er! Sure you're not a- going t o favour only one of us. I f Young Pip has a half- holiday, do as m uch for Old Orlick.” I suppose he was about five- and- t went y, but he usually spoke of him self as an ancient person. “ Why, what 'll you do wit h a half- holiday, if you get it ?” said Joe. “ What 'll I do wit h it ! What 'll he do wit h it ? I 'll do as m uch wit h it as him ,” said Orlick. “ As t o Pip, he's going up- t own,” said Joe. “ Well t hen, as t o Old Orlick, he's a- going up- t own,” ret ort ed t hat wort hy. “ Two can go up- t own. Tan't only one wot can go up- t own. “ Don't lose your t em per,” said Joe. “ Shall if I like,” growled Orlick. “ Som e and t heir upt owning! Now, m ast er! Com e. No favouring in t his shop. Be a m an! ” The m ast er refusing t o ent ert ain t he subj ect unt il t he j ourneym an was in a bet t er t em per, Orlick plunged at t he furnace, drew out a red- hot bar, m ade at m e wit h it as if he were going t o run it t hrough m y body, whisked it round m y head, laid it on t he anvil, ham m ered it out —as if it were I , I 158

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t hought , and t he sparks were m y spirt ing blood—and finally said, when he had ham m ered him self hot and t he iron cold, and he again leaned on his ham m er: “ Now, m ast er! ” “ Are you all right now?” dem anded Joe. “ Ah! I am all right ,” said gruff Old Orlick. “ Then, as in general you st ick t o your work as well as m ost m en,” said Joe, “ let it be a half- holiday for all.” My sist er had been st anding silent in t he yard, wit hin hearing—she was a m ost unscrupulous spy and list ener—and she inst ant ly looked in at one of t he windows. “ Like you, you fool! ” said she t o Joe, “ giving holidays t o great idle hulkers like t hat . You are a rich m an, upon m y life, t o wast e wages in t hat way. I wish I was his m ast er! ” “ You'd be everybody's m ast er, if you durst ,” ret ort ed Orlick, wit h an ill- favoured grin. ( " Let her alone,” said Joe.) “ I 'd be a m at ch for all noodles and all rogues,” ret urned m y sist er, beginning t o work herself int o a m ight y rage. “ And I couldn't be a m at ch for t he noodles, wit hout being a m at ch for your m ast er, who's t he dunder- headed king of t he noodles. And I couldn't be a m at ch for t he rogues, wit hout being a m at ch for you, who are t he blackest - looking and t he worst rogue bet ween t his and France. Now! ” “ You're a foul shrew, Mot her Gargery, growled t he j ourneym an. “ I f t hat m akes a j udge of rogues, you ought t o be a good'un.” ( " Let her alone, will you?” said Joe.) 159

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“ What did you say?” cried m y sist er, beginning t o scream . “ What did you say? What did t hat fellow Orlick say t o m e, Pip? What did he call m e, wit h m y husband st anding by? O! O! O! ” Each of t hese exclam at ions was a shriek; and I m ust rem ark of m y sist er, what is equally t rue of all t he violent wom en I have ever seen, t hat passion was no excuse for her, because it is undeniable t hat inst ead of lapsing int o passion, she consciously and deliberat ely t ook ext raordinary pains t o force herself int o it , and becam e blindly furious by regular st ages; “ what was t he nam e he gave m e before t he base m an who swore t o defend m e? O! Hold m e! O! ” “ Ah- h- h! ” growled t he j ourneym an, bet ween his t eet h, “ I 'd hold you, if you was m y wife. I 'd hold you under t he pum p, and choke it out of you.” ( " I t ell you, let her alone,” said Joe.) “ Oh! To hear him ! ” cried m y sist er, wit h a clap of her hands and a scream t oget her—which was her next st age. “ To hear t he nam es he's giving m e! That Orlick! I n m y own house! Me, a m arried wom an! Wit h m y husband st anding by! O! O! ” Here m y sist er, aft er a fit of clappings and scream ings, beat her hands upon her bosom and upon her knees, and t hrew her cap off, and pulled her hair down—which were t he last st ages on her road t o frenzy. Being by t his t im e a perfect Fury and a com plet e success, she m ade a dash at t he door, which I had fort unat ely locked. What could t he wret ched Joe do now, aft er his disregarded parent het ical int errupt ions, but st and up t o his j ourneym an, and ask him what he m eant by int erfering bet wixt him self and Mrs. Joe; and furt her whet her he was m an enough t o com e 160

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on? Old Orlick felt t hat t he sit uat ion adm it t ed of not hing less t han com ing on, and was on his defence st raight way; so, wit hout so m uch as pulling off t heir singed and burnt aprons, t hey went at one anot her, like t wo giant s. But , if any m an in t hat neighbourhood could st and up long against Joe, I never saw t he m an. Orlick, as if he had been of no m ore account t han t he pale young gent lem an, was very soon am ong t he coal- dust , and in no hurry t o com e out of it . Then, Joe unlocked t he door and picked up m y sist er, who had dropped insensible at t he window ( but who had seen t he fight first , I t hink) , and who was carried int o t he house and laid down, and who was recom m ended t o revive, and would do not hing but st ruggle and clench her hands in Joe's hair. Then, cam e t hat singular calm and silence which succeed all uproars; and t hen, wit h t he vague sensat ion which I have always connect ed wit h such a lull—nam ely, t hat it was Sunday, and som ebody was dead—I went up- st airs t o dress m yself. When I cam e down again, I found Joe and Orlick sweeping up, wit hout any ot her t races of discom posure t han a slit in one of Orlick's nost rils, which was neit her expressive nor ornam ent al. A pot of beer had appeared from t he Jolly Bargem en, and t hey were sharing it by t urns in a peaceable m anner. The lull had a sedat ive and philosophical influence on Joe, who followed m e out int o t he road t o say, as a part ing observat ion t hat m ight do m e good, “ On t he Ram page, Pip, and off t he Ram page, Pip—such is Life! ” Wit h what absurd em ot ions ( for, we t hink t he feelings t hat are very serious in a m an quit e com ical in a boy) I found m yself again going t o Miss Havisham 's, m at t ers lit t le here. 161

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Nor, how I passed and repassed t he gat e m any t im es before I could m ake up m y m ind t o ring. Nor, how I debat ed whet her I should go away wit hout ringing; nor, how I should undoubt edly have gone, if m y t im e had been m y own, t o com e back. Miss Sarah Pocket cam e t o t he gat e. No Est ella. “ How, t hen? You here again?” said Miss Pocket . “ What do you want ?” When I said t hat I only cam e t o see how Miss Havisham was, Sarah evident ly deliberat ed whet her or no she should send m e about m y business. But , unwilling t o hazard t he responsibilit y, she let m e in, and present ly brought t he sharp m essage t hat I was t o “ com e up.” Everyt hing was unchanged, and Miss Havisham was alone. “ Well?” said she, fixing her eyes upon m e. “ I hope you want not hing? You'll get not hing.” “ No, indeed, Miss Havisham . I only want ed you t o know t hat I am doing very well in m y apprent iceship, and am always m uch obliged t o you.” “ There, t here! ” wit h t he old rest less fingers. “ Com e now and t hen; com e on your birt hday.—Ay! ” she cried suddenly, t urning herself and her chair t owards m e, “ You are looking round for Est ella? Hey?” I had been looking round—in fact , for Est ella—and I st am m ered t hat I hoped she was well. “ Abroad,” said Miss Havisham ; “ educat ing for a lady; far out of reach; pret t ier t han ever; adm ired by all who see her. Do you feel t hat you have lost her?” 162

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There was such a m alignant enj oym ent in her ut t erance of t he last words, and she broke int o such a disagreeable laugh, t hat I was at a loss what t o say. She spared m e t he t rouble of considering, by dism issing m e. When t he gat e was closed upon m e by Sarah of t he walnut - shell count enance, I felt m ore t han ever dissat isfied wit h m y hom e and wit h m y t rade and wit h everyt hing; and t hat was all I t ook by t hat m ot ion. As I was loit ering along t he High- st reet , looking in disconsolat ely at t he shop windows, and t hinking what I would buy if I were a gent lem an, who should com e out of t he bookshop but Mr. Wopsle. Mr Wopsle had in his hand t he affect ing t ragedy of George Barnwell, in which he had t hat m om ent invest ed sixpence, wit h t he view of heaping every word of it on t he head of Pum blechook, wit h whom he was going t o drink t ea. No sooner did he see m e, t han he appeared t o consider t hat a special Providence had put a ‘prent ice in his way t o be read at ; and he laid hold of m e, and insist ed on m y accom panying him t o t he Pum blechookian parlour. As I knew it would be m iserable at hom e, and as t he night s were dark and t he way was dreary, and alm ost any com panionship on t he road was bet t er t han none, I m ade no great resist ance; consequent ly, we t urned int o Pum blechook's j ust as t he st reet and t he shops were light ing up. As I never assist ed at any ot her represent at ion of George Barnwell, I don't know how long it m ay usually t ake; but I know very well t hat it t ook unt il half- past nine o’ clock t hat night , and t hat when Mr. Wopsle got int o Newgat e, I t hought he never would go t o t he scaffold, he becam e so m uch slower t han at any form er period of his disgraceful career. I t hought 163

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it a lit t le t oo m uch t hat he should com plain of being cut short in his flower aft er all, as if he had not been running t o seed, leaf aft er leaf, ever since his course began. This, however, was a m ere quest ion of lengt h and wearisom eness. What st ung m e, was t he ident ificat ion of t he whole affair wit h m y unoffending self. When Barnwell began t o go wrong, I declare t hat I felt posit ively apologet ic, Pum blechook's indignant st are so t axed m e wit h it . Wopsle, t oo, t ook pains t o present m e in t he worst light . At once ferocious and m audlin, I was m ade t o m urder m y uncle wit h no ext enuat ing circum st ances what ever; Millwood put m e down in argum ent , on every occasion; it becam e sheer m onom ania in m y m ast er's daught er t o care a but t on for m e; and all I can say for m y gasping and procrast inat ing conduct on t he fat al m orning, is, t hat it was wort hy of t he general feebleness of m y charact er. Even aft er I was happily hanged and Wopsle had closed t he book, Pum blechook sat st aring at m e, and shaking his head, and saying, “ Take warning, boy, t ake warning! ” as if it were a well- known fact t hat I cont em plat ed m urdering a near relat ion, provided I could only induce one t o have t he weakness t o becom e m y benefact or. I t was a very dark night when it was all over, and when I set out wit h Mr. Wopsle on t he walk hom e. Beyond t own, we found a heavy m ist out , and it fell wet and t hick. The t urnpike lam p was a blur, quit e out of t he lam p's usual place apparent ly, and it s rays looked solid subst ance on t he fog. We were not icing t his, and saying how t hat t he m ist rose wit h a change of wind from a cert ain quart er of our m arshes, when 164

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we cam e upon a m an, slouching under t he lee of t he t urnpike house. “ Halloa! ” we said, st opping. “ Orlick, t here?” “ Ah! ” he answered, slouching out . “ I was st anding by, a m inut e, on t he chance of com pany.” “ You are lat e,” I rem arked. Orlick not unnat urally answered, “ Well? And you're lat e.” “ We have been,” said Mr. Wopsle, exalt ed wit h his lat e perform ance, “ we have been indulging, Mr. Orlick, in an int ellect ual evening.” Old Orlick growled, as if he had not hing t o say about t hat , and we all went on t oget her. I asked him present ly whet her he had been spending his half- holiday up and down t own? “ Yes,” said he, “ all of it . I com e in behind yourself. I didn't see you, but I m ust have been pret t y close behind you. Byt he- bye, t he guns is going again.” “ At t he Hulks?” said I . “ Ay! There's som e of t he birds flown from t he cages. The guns have been going since dark, about . You'll hear one present ly.” I n effect , we had not walked m any yards furt her, when t he wellrem em bered boom cam e t owards us, deadened by t he m ist , and heavily rolled away along t he low grounds by t he river, as if it were pursuing and t hreat ening t he fugit ives. “ A good night for cut t ing off in,” said Orlick. “ We'd be puzzled how t o bring down a j ail- bird on t he wing, t o- night .” The subj ect was a suggest ive one t o m e, and I t hought about it in silence. Mr. Wopsle, as t he ill- requit ed uncle of t he evening's t ragedy, fell t o m edit at ing aloud in his garden at 165

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Cam berwell. Orlick, wit h his hands in his pocket s, slouched heavily at m y side. I t was very dark, very wet , very m uddy, and so we splashed along. Now and t hen, t he sound of t he signal cannon broke upon us again, and again rolled sulkily along t he course of t he river. I kept m yself t o m yself and m y t hought s. Mr. Wopsle died am iably at Cam berwell, and exceedingly gam e on Boswort h Field, and in t he great est agonies at Glast onbury. Orlick som et im es growled, “ Beat it out , beat it out —Old Clem ! Wit h a clink for t he st out —Old Clem ! ” I t hought he had been drinking, but he was not drunk. Thus, we cam e t o t he village. The way by which we approached it , t ook us past t he Three Jolly Bargem en, which we were surprised t o find—it being eleven o'clock—in a st at e of com m ot ion, wit h t he door wide open, and unwont ed light s t hat had been hast ily caught up and put down, scat t ered about . Mr. Wopsle dropped in t o ask what was t he m at t er ( surm ising t hat a convict had been t aken) , but cam e running out in a great hurry. “ There's som et hing wrong,” said he, wit hout st opping, “ up at your place, Pip. Run all! ” “ What is it ?” I asked, keeping up wit h him . So did Orlick, at m y side. “ I can't quit e underst and. The house seem s t o have been violent ly ent ered when Joe Gargery was out . Supposed by convict s. Som ebody has been at t acked and hurt .” We were running t oo fast t o adm it of m ore being said, and we m ade no st op unt il we got int o our kit chen. I t was full of people; t he whole village was t here, or in t he yard; and t here was a surgeon, and t here was Joe, and t here was a group of 166

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wom en, all on t he floor in t he m idst of t he kit chen. The unem ployed byst anders drew back when t hey saw m e, and so I becam e aware of m y sist er—lying wit hout sense or m ovem ent on t he bare boards where she had been knocked down by a t rem endous blow on t he back of t he head, dealt by som e unknown hand when her face was t urned t owards t he fire—dest ined never t o be on t he Ram page again, while she was t he wife of Joe.

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Chapt er 16 Wit h m y head full of George Barnwell, I was at first disposed t o believe t hat I m ust have had som e hand in t he at t ack upon m y sist er, or at all event s t hat as her near relat ion, popularly known t o be under obligat ions t o her, I was a m ore legit im at e obj ect of suspicion t han any one else. But when, in t he clearer light of next m orning, I began t o reconsider t he m at t er and t o hear it discussed around m e on all sides, I t ook anot her view of t he case, which was m ore reasonable. Joe had been at t he Three Jolly Bargem en, sm oking his pipe, from a quart er aft er eight o'clock t o a quart er before t en. While he was t here, m y sist er had been seen st anding at t he kit chen door, and had exchanged Good Night wit h a farm labourer going hom e. The m an could not be m ore part icular as t o t he t im e at which he saw her ( he got int o dense confusion when he t ried t o be) , t han t hat it m ust have been before nine. When Joe went hom e at five m inut es before t en, he found her st ruck down on t he floor, and prom pt ly called in assist ance. The fire had not t hen burnt unusually low, nor was t he snuff of t he candle very long; t he candle, however, had been blown out . Not hing had been t aken away from any part of t he house. Neit her, beyond t he blowing out of t he candle—which st ood on a t able bet ween t he door and m y sist er, and was behind her when she st ood facing t he fire and was st ruck—was t here any disarrangem ent of t he kit chen, except ing such as she 168

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herself had m ade, in falling and bleeding. But , t here was one rem arkable piece of evidence on t he spot . She had been st ruck wit h som et hing blunt and heavy, on t he head and spine; aft er t he blows were dealt , som et hing heavy had been t hrown down at her wit h considerable violence, as she lay on her face. And on t he ground beside her, when Joe picked her up, was a convict 's leg- iron which had been filed asunder. Now, Joe, exam ining t his iron wit h a sm it h's eye, declared it t o have been filed asunder som e t im e ago. The hue and cry going off t o t he Hulks, and people com ing t hence t o exam ine t he iron, Joe's opinion was corroborat ed. They did not undert ake t o say when it had left t he prison- ships t o which it undoubt edly had once belonged; but t hey claim ed t o know for cert ain t hat t hat part icular m anacle had not been worn by eit her of t he t wo convict s who had escaped last night . Furt her, one of t hose t wo was already re- t aken, and had not freed him self of his iron. Knowing what I knew, I set up an inference of m y own here. I believed t he iron t o be m y convict 's iron—t he iron I had seen and heard him filing at , on t he m arshes—but m y m ind did not accuse him of having put it t o it s lat est use. For, I believed one of t wo ot her persons t o have becom e possessed of it , and t o have t urned it t o t his cruel account . Eit her Orlick, or t he st range m an who had shown m e t he file. Now, as t o Orlick; he had gone t o t own exact ly as he t old us when we picked him up at t he t urnpike, he had been seen about t own all t he evening, he had been in divers com panies in several public- houses, and he had com e back wit h m yself and Mr. Wopsle. There was not hing against him , save t he 169

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quarrel; and m y sist er had quarrelled wit h him , and wit h everybody else about her, t en t housand t im es. As t o t he st range m an; if he had com e back for his t wo bank- not es t here could have been no disput e about t hem , because m y sist er was fully prepared t o rest ore t hem . Besides, t here had been no alt ercat ion; t he assailant had com e in so silent ly and suddenly, t hat she had been felled before she could look round. I t was horrible t o t hink t hat I had provided t he weapon, however undesignedly, but I could hardly t hink ot herwise. I suffered unspeakable t rouble while I considered and reconsidered whet her I should at last dissolve t hat spell of m y childhood, and t ell Joe all t he st ory. For m ont hs aft erwards, I every day set t led t he quest ion finally in t he negat ive, and reopened and reargued it next m orning. The cont ent ion cam e, aft er all, t o t his; —t he secret was such an old one now, had so grown int o m e and becom e a part of m yself, t hat I could not t ear it away. I n addit ion t o t he dread t hat , having led up t o so m uch m ischief, it would be now m ore likely t han ever t o alienat e Joe from m e if he believed it , I had a furt her rest raining dread t hat he would not believe it , but would assort it wit h t he fabulous dogs and veal- cut let s as a m onst rous invent ion. However, I t em porized wit h m yself, of course—for, was I not wavering bet ween right and wrong, when t he t hing is always done?—and resolved t o m ake a full disclosure if I should see any such new occasion as a new chance of helping in t he discovery of t he assailant . The Const ables, and t he Bow St reet m en from London— for, t his happened in t he days of t he ext inct red- waist coat ed 170

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police—were about t he house for a week or t wo, and did pret t y m uch what I have heard and read of like aut horit ies doing in ot her such cases. They t ook up several obviously wrong people, and t hey ran t heir heads very hard against wrong ideas, and persist ed in t rying t o fit t he circum st ances t o t he ideas, inst ead of t rying t o ext ract ideas from t he circum st ances. Also, t hey st ood about t he door of t he Jolly Bargem en, wit h knowing and reserved looks t hat filled t he whole neighbourhood wit h adm irat ion; and t hey had a m yst erious m anner of t aking t heir drink, t hat was alm ost as good as t aking t he culprit . But not quit e, for t hey never did it . Long aft er t hese const it ut ional powers had dispersed, m y sist er lay very ill in bed. Her sight was dist urbed, so t hat she saw obj ect s m ult iplied, and grasped at visionary t eacups and wine- glasses inst ead of t he realit ies; her hearing was great ly im paired; her m em ory also; and her speech was unint elligible. When, at last , she cam e round so far as t o be helped down- st airs, it was st ill necessary t o keep m y slat e always by her, t hat she m ight indicat e in writ ing what she could not indicat e in speech. As she was ( very bad handwrit ing apart ) a m ore t han indifferent speller, and as Joe was a m ore t han indifferent reader, ext raordinary com plicat ions arose bet ween t hem , which I was always called in t o solve. The adm inist rat ion of m ut t on inst ead of m edicine, t he subst it ut ion of Tea for Joe, and t he baker for bacon, were am ong t he m ildest of m y own m ist akes. However, her t em per was great ly im proved, and she was pat ient . A t rem ulous uncert aint y of t he act ion of all her lim bs soon becam e a part of her regular st at e, and aft erwards, at 171

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int ervals of t wo or t hree m ont hs, she would oft en put her hands t o her head, and would t hen rem ain for about a week at a t im e in som e gloom y aberrat ion of m ind. We were at a loss t o find a suit able at t endant for her, unt il a circum st ance happened convenient ly t o relieve us. Mr. Wopsle's great - aunt conquered a confirm ed habit of living int o which she had fallen, and Biddy becam e a part of our est ablishm ent . I t m ay have been about a m ont h aft er m y sist er's reappearance in t he kit chen, when Biddy cam e t o us wit h a sm all speckled box cont aining t he whole of her worldly effect s, and becam e a blessing t o t he household. Above all, she was a blessing t o Joe, for t he dear old fellow was sadly cut up by t he const ant cont em plat ion of t he wreck of his wife, and had been accust om ed, while at t ending on her of an evening, t o t urn t o m e every now and t hen and say, wit h his blue eyes m oist ened, “ Such a fine figure of a wom an as she once were, Pip! ” Biddy inst ant ly t aking t he cleverest charge of her as t hough she had st udied her from infancy, Joe becam e able in som e sort t o appreciat e t he great er quiet of his life, and t o get down t o t he Jolly Bargem en now and t hen for a change t hat did him good. I t was charact erist ic of t he police people t hat t hey had all m ore or less suspect ed poor Joe ( t hough he never knew it ) , and t hat t hey had t o a m an concurred in regarding him as one of t he deepest spirit s t hey had ever encount ered. Biddy's first t rium ph in her new office, was t o solve a difficult y t hat had com plet ely vanquished m e. I had t ried hard at it , but had m ade not hing of it . Thus it was: 172

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Again and again and again, m y sist er had t raced upon t he slat e, a charact er t hat looked like a curious T, and t hen wit h t he ut m ost eagerness had called our at t ent ion t o it as som et hing she part icularly want ed. I had in vain t ried everyt hing producible t hat began wit h a T, from t ar t o t oast and t ub. At lengt h it had com e int o m y head t hat t he sign looked like a ham m er, and on m y lust ily calling t hat word in m y sist er's ear, she had begun t o ham m er on t he t able and had expressed a qualified assent . Thereupon, I had brought in all our ham m ers, one aft er anot her, but wit hout avail. Then I bet hought m e of a crut ch, t he shape being m uch t he sam e, and I borrowed one in t he village, and displayed it t o m y sist er wit h considerable confidence. But she shook her head t o t hat ext ent when she was shown it , t hat we were t errified lest in her weak and shat t ered st at e she should dislocat e her neck. When m y sist er found t hat Biddy was very quick t o underst and her, t his m yst erious sign reappeared on t he slat e. Biddy looked t hought fully at it , heard m y explanat ion, looked t hought fully at m y sist er, looked t hought fully at Joe ( who was always represent ed on t he slat e by his init ial let t er) , and ran int o t he forge, followed by Joe and m e. “ Why, of course! ” cried Biddy, wit h an exult ant face. “ Don't you see? I t 's him ! ” Orlick, wit hout a doubt ! She had lost his nam e, and could only signify him by his ham m er. We t old him why we want ed him t o com e int o t he kit chen, and he slowly laid down his ham m er, wiped his brow wit h his arm , t ook anot her wipe at it 173

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wit h his apron, and cam e slouching out , wit h a curious loose vagabond bend in t he knees t hat st rongly dist inguished him . I confess t hat I expect ed t o see m y sist er denounce him , and t hat I was disappoint ed by t he different result . She m anifest ed t he great est anxiet y t o be on good t erm s wit h him , was evident ly m uch pleased by his being at lengt h produced, and m ot ioned t hat she would have him given som et hing t o drink. She wat ched his count enance as if she were part icularly wishful t o be assured t hat he t ook kindly t o his recept ion, she showed every possible desire t o conciliat e him , and t here was an air of hum ble propit iat ion in all she did, such as I have seen pervade t he bearing of a child t owards a hard m ast er. Aft er t hat day, a day rarely passed wit hout her drawing t he ham m er on her slat e, and wit hout Orlick's slouching in and st anding doggedly before her, as if he knew no m ore t han I did what t o m ake of it .

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Chapt er 17 I now fell int o a regular rout ine of apprent iceship life, which was varied, beyond t he lim it s of t he village and t he m arshes, by no m ore rem arkable circum st ance t han t he arrival of m y birt hday and m y paying anot her visit t o Miss Havisham . I found Miss Sarah Pocket st ill on dut y at t he gat e, I found Miss Havisham j ust as I had left her, and she spoke of Est ella in t he very sam e way, if not in t he very sam e words. The int erview last ed but a few m inut es, and she gave m e a guinea when I was going, and t old m e t o com e again on m y next birt hday. I m ay m ent ion at once t hat t his becam e an annual cust om . I t ried t o decline t aking t he guinea on t he first occasion, but wit h no bet t er effect t han causing her t o ask m e very angrily, if I expect ed m ore? Then, and aft er t hat , I t ook it . So unchanging was t he dull old house, t he yellow light in t he darkened room , t he faded spect re in t he chair by t he dressing- t able glass, t hat I felt as if t he st opping of t he clocks had st opped Tim e in t hat m yst erious place, and, while I and everyt hing else out side it grew older, it st ood st ill. Daylight never ent ered t he house as t o m y t hought s and rem em brances of it , any m ore t han as t o t he act ual fact . I t bewildered m e, and under it s influence I cont inued at heart t o hat e m y t rade and t o be asham ed of hom e. I m percept ibly I becam e conscious of a change in Biddy, however. Her shoes cam e up at t he heel, her hair grew bright and neat , her hands were always clean. She was not 175

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beaut iful—she was com m on, and could not be like Est ella— but she was pleasant and wholesom e and sweet - t em pered. She had not been wit h us m ore t han a year ( I rem em ber her being newly out of m ourning at t he t im e it st ruck m e) , when I observed t o m yself one evening t hat she had curiously t hought ful and at t ent ive eyes; eyes t hat were very pret t y and very good. I t cam e of m y lift ing up m y own eyes from a t ask I was poring at —writ ing som e passages from a book, t o im prove m yself in t wo ways at once by a sort of st rat agem —and seeing Biddy observant of what I was about . I laid down m y pen, and Biddy st opped in her needlework wit hout laying it down. “ Biddy,” said I , “ how do you m anage it ? Eit her I am very st upid, or you are very clever.” “ What is it t hat I m anage? I don't know,” ret urned Biddy, sm iling. She m anaged our whole dom est ic life, and wonderfully t oo; but I did not m ean t hat , t hough t hat m ade what I did m ean, m ore surprising. “ How do you m anage, Biddy,” said I , “ t o learn everyt hing t hat I learn, and always t o keep up wit h m e?” I was beginning t o be rat her vain of m y knowledge, for I spent m y birt hday guineas on it , and set aside t he great er part of m y pocket m oney for sim ilar invest m ent ; t hough I have no doubt , now, t hat t he lit t le I knew was ext rem ely dear at t he price. “ I m ight as well ask you,” said Biddy, “ how you m anage?”

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“ No; because when I com e in from t he forge of a night , any one can see m e t urning t o at it . But you never t urn t o at it , Biddy.” “ I suppose I m ust cat ch it —like a cough,” said Biddy, quiet ly; and went on wit h her sewing. Pursuing m y idea as I leaned back in m y wooden chair and looked at Biddy sewing away wit h her head on one side, I began t o t hink her rat her an ext raordinary girl. For, I called t o m ind now, t hat she was equally accom plished in t he t erm s of our t rade, and t he nam es of our different sort s of work, and our various t ools. I n short , what ever I knew, Biddy knew. Theoret ically, she was already as good a blacksm it h as I , or bet t er. “ You are one of t hose, Biddy,” said I , “ who m ake t he m ost of every chance. You never had a chance before you cam e here, and see how im proved you are! ” Biddy looked at m e for an inst ant , and went on wit h her sewing. “ I was your first t eacher t hough; wasn't I ?” said she, as she sewed. “ Biddy! ” I exclaim ed, in am azem ent . “ Why, you are crying! ” “ No I am not ,” said Biddy, looking up and laughing. “ What put t hat in your head?” What could have put it in m y head, but t he glist ening of a t ear as it dropped on her work? I sat silent , recalling what a drudge she had been unt il Mr. Wopsle's great - aunt successfully overcam e t hat bad habit of living, so highly desirable t o be got rid of by som e people. I recalled t he hopeless circum st ances by which she had been surrounded in 177

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t he m iserable lit t le shop and t he m iserable lit t le noisy evening school, wit h t hat m iserable old bundle of incom pet ence always t o be dragged and shouldered. I reflect ed t hat even in t hose unt oward t im es t here m ust have been lat ent in Biddy what was now developing, for, in m y first uneasiness and discont ent I had t urned t o her for help, as a m at t er of course. Biddy sat quiet ly sewing, shedding no m ore t ears, and while I looked at her and t hought about it all, it occurred t o m e t hat perhaps I had not been sufficient ly grat eful t o Biddy. I m ight have been t oo reserved, and should have pat ronized her m ore ( t hough I did not use t hat precise word in m y m edit at ions) , wit h m y confidence. “ Yes, Biddy,” I observed, when I had done t urning it over, “ you were m y first t eacher, and t hat at a t im e when we lit t le t hought of ever being t oget her like t his, in t his kit chen.” “ Ah, poor t hing! ” replied Biddy. I t was like her selfforget fulness, t o t ransfer t he rem ark t o m y sist er, and t o get up and be busy about her, m aking her m ore com fort able; “ t hat 's sadly t rue! ” “ Well! ” said I , “ we m ust t alk t oget her a lit t le m ore, as we used t o do. And I m ust consult you a lit t le m ore, as I used t o do. Let us have a quiet walk on t he m arshes next Sunday, Biddy, and a long chat .” My sist er was never left alone now; but Joe m ore t han readily undert ook t he care of her on t hat Sunday aft ernoon, and Biddy and I went out t oget her. I t was sum m er- t im e, and lovely weat her. When we had passed t he village and t he church and t he churchyard, and were out on t he m arshes and began t o see t he sails of t he ships as t hey sailed on, I began 178

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t o com bine Miss Havisham and Est ella wit h t he prospect , in m y usual way. When we cam e t o t he river- side and sat down on t he bank, wit h t he wat er rippling at our feet , m aking it all m ore quiet t han it would have been wit hout t hat sound, I resolved t hat it was a good t im e and place for t he adm ission of Biddy int o m y inner confidence. “ Biddy,” said I , aft er binding her t o secrecy, “ I want t o be a gent lem an.” “ Oh, I wouldn't , if I was you! ” she ret urned. “ I don't t hink it would answer.” “ Biddy,” said I , wit h som e severit y, “ I have part icular reasons for want ing t o be a gent lem an.” “ You know best , Pip; but don't you t hink you are happier as you are?” “ Biddy,” I exclaim ed, im pat ient ly, “ I am not at all happy as I am . I am disgust ed wit h m y calling and wit h m y life. I have never t aken t o eit her, since I was bound. Don't be absurd.” “ Was I absurd?” said Biddy, quiet ly raising her eyebrows; “ I am sorry for t hat ; I didn't m ean t o be. I only want you t o do well, and t o be com fort able.” “ Well t hen, underst and once for all t hat I never shall or can be com fort able—or anyt hing but m iserable—t here, Biddy! —unless I can lead a very different sort of life from t he life I lead now.” “ That 's a pit y! ” said Biddy, shaking her head wit h a sorrowful air. Now, I t oo had so oft en t hought it a pit y, t hat , in t he singular kind of quarrel wit h m yself which I was always carrying on, I was half inclined t o shed t ears of vexat ion and 179

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dist ress when Biddy gave ut t erance t o her sent im ent and m y own. I t old her she was right , and I knew it was m uch t o be regret t ed, but st ill it was not t o be helped. “ I f I could have set t led down,” I said t o Biddy, plucking up t he short grass wit hin reach, m uch as I had once upon a t im e pulled m y feelings out of m y hair and kicked t hem int o t he brewery wall: “ if I could have set t led down and been but half as fond of t he forge as I was when I was lit t le, I know it would have been m uch bet t er for m e. You and I and Joe would have want ed not hing t hen, and Joe and I would perhaps have gone part ners when I was out of m y t im e, and I m ight even have grown up t o keep com pany wit h you, and we m ight have sat on t his very bank on a fine Sunday, quit e different people. I should have been good enough for you; shouldn't I , Biddy?” Biddy sighed as she looked at t he ships sailing on, and ret urned for answer, “ Yes; I am not over- part icular.” I t scarcely sounded flat t ering, but I knew she m eant well. “ I nst ead of t hat ,” said I , plucking up m ore grass and chewing a blade or t wo, “ see how I am going on. Dissat isfied, and uncom fort able, and—what would it signify t o m e, being coarse and com m on, if nobody had t old m e so! ” Biddy t urned her face suddenly t owards m ine, and looked far m ore at t ent ively at m e t han she had looked at t he sailing ships. “ I t was neit her a very t rue nor a very polit e t hing t o say,” she rem arked, direct ing her eyes t o t he ships again. “ Who said it ?” 180

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I was disconcert ed, for I had broken away wit hout quit e seeing where I was going t o. I t was not t o be shuffled off now, however, and I answered, “ The beaut iful young lady at Miss Havisham 's, and she's m ore beaut iful t han anybody ever was, and I adm ire her dreadfully, and I want t o be a gent lem an on her account .” Having m ade t his lunat ic confession, I began t o t hrow m y t orn- up grass int o t he river, as if I had som e t hought s of following it . “ Do you want t o be a gent lem an, t o spit e her or t o gain her over?” Biddy quiet ly asked m e, aft er a pause. “ I don't know,” I m oodily answered. “ Because, if it is t o spit e her,” Biddy pursued, “ I should t hink—but you know best —t hat m ight be bet t er and m ore independent ly done by caring not hing for her words. And if it is t o gain her over, I should t hink—but you know best —she was not wort h gaining over.” Exact ly what I m yself had t hought , m any t im es. Exact ly what was perfect ly m anifest t o m e at t he m om ent . But how could I , a poor dazed village lad, avoid t hat wonderful inconsist ency int o which t he best and wisest of m en fall every day? “ I t m ay be all quit e t rue,” said I t o Biddy, “ but I adm ire her dreadfully.” I n short , I t urned over on m y face when I cam e t o t hat , and got a good grasp on t he hair on each side of m y head, and wrenched it well. All t he while knowing t he m adness of m y heart t o be so very m ad and m isplaced, t hat I was quit e conscious it would have served m y face right , if I had lift ed it 181

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up by m y hair, and knocked it against t he pebbles as a punishm ent for belonging t o such an idiot . Biddy was t he wisest of girls, and she t ried t o reason no m ore wit h m e. She put her hand, which was a com fort able hand t hough roughened by work, upon m y hands, one aft er anot her, and gent ly t ook t hem out of m y hair. Then she soft ly pat t ed m y shoulder in a soot hing way, while wit h m y face upon m y sleeve I cried a lit t le—exact ly as I had done in t he brewery yard—and felt vaguely convinced t hat I was very m uch ill- used by som ebody, or by everybody; I can't say which. “ I am glad of one t hing,” said Biddy, “ and t hat is, t hat you have felt you could give m e your confidence, Pip. And I am glad of anot her t hing, and t hat is, t hat of course you know you m ay depend upon m y keeping it and always so far deserving it . I f your first t eacher ( dear! such a poor one, and so m uch in need of being t aught herself! ) had been your t eacher at t he present t im e, she t hinks she knows what lesson she would set . But I t would be a hard one t o learn, and you have got beyond her, and it 's of no use now.” So, wit h a quiet sigh for m e, Biddy rose from t he bank, and said, wit h a fresh and pleasant change of voice, “ Shall we walk a lit t le furt her, or go hom e?” “ Biddy,” I cried, get t ing up, put t ing m y arm round her neck, and giving her a kiss, “ I shall always t ell you everyt hing.” “ Till you're a gent lem an,” said Biddy.

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“ You know I never shall be, so t hat 's always. Not t hat I have any occasion t o t ell you anyt hing, for you know everyt hing I know—as I t old you at hom e t he ot her night .” “ Ah! ” said Biddy, quit e in a whisper, as she looked away at t he ships. And t hen repeat ed, wit h her form er pleasant change; “ shall we walk a lit t le furt her, or go hom e?” I said t o Biddy we would walk a lit t le furt her, and we did so, and t he sum m er aft ernoon t oned down int o t he sum m er evening, and it was very beaut iful. I began t o consider whet her I was not m ore nat urally and wholesom ely sit uat ed, aft er all, in t hese circum st ances, t han playing beggar m y neighbour by candlelight in t he room wit h t he st opped clocks, and being despised by Est ella. I t hought it would be very good for m e if I could get her out of m y head, wit h all t he rest of t hose rem em brances and fancies, and could go t o work det erm ined t o relish what I had t o do, and st ick t o it , and m ake t he best of it . I asked m yself t he quest ion whet her I did not surely know t hat if Est ella were beside m e at t hat m om ent inst ead of Biddy, she would m ake m e m iserable? I was obliged t o adm it t hat I did know it for a cert aint y, and I said t o m yself, “ Pip, what a fool you are! ” We t alked a good deal as we walked, and all t hat Biddy said seem ed right . Biddy was never insult ing, or capricious, or Biddy t o- day and som ebody else t o- m orrow; she would have derived only pain, and no pleasure, from giving m e pain; she would far rat her have wounded her own breast t han m ine. How could it be, t hen, t hat I did not like her m uch t he bet t er of t he t wo? 183

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“ Biddy,” said I , when we were walking hom eward, “ I wish you could put m e right .” “ I wish I could! ” said Biddy. “ I f I could only get m yself t o fall in love wit h you—you don't m ind m y speaking so openly t o such an old acquaint ance?” “ Oh dear, not at all! ” said Biddy. “ Don't m ind m e.” “ I f I could only get m yself t o do it , t hat would be t he t hing for m e.” “ But you never will, you see,” said Biddy. I t did not appear quit e so unlikely t o m e t hat evening, as it would have done if we had discussed it a few hours before. I t herefore observed I was not quit e sure of t hat . But Biddy said she was, and she said it decisively. I n m y heart I believed her t o be right ; and yet I t ook it rat her ill, t oo, t hat she should be so posit ive on t he point . When we cam e near t he churchyard, we had t o cross an em bankm ent , and get over a st ile near a sluice gat e. There st art ed up, from t he gat e, or from t he rushes, or from t he ooze ( which was quit e in his st agnant way) , Old Orlick. “ Halloa! ” he growled, “ where are you t wo going?” “ Where should we be going, but hom e?” “ Well t hen,” said he, “ I 'm j iggered if I don't see you hom e! ” This penalt y of being j iggered was a favourit e supposit it ious case of his. He at t ached no definit e m eaning t o t he word t hat I am aware of, but used it , like his own pret ended Christ ian nam e, t o affront m ankind, and convey an idea of som et hing savagely dam aging. When I was younger, I 184

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had had a general belief t hat if he had j iggered m e personally, he would have done it wit h a sharp and t wist ed hook. Biddy was m uch against his going wit h us, and said t o m e in a whisper, “ Don't let him com e; I don't like him .” As I did not like him eit her, I t ook t he libert y of saying t hat we t hanked him , but we didn't want seeing hom e. He received t hat piece of inform at ion wit h a yell of laught er, and dropped back, but cam e slouching aft er us at a lit t le dist ance. Curious t o know whet her Biddy suspect ed him of having had a hand in t hat m urderous at t ack of which m y sist er had never been able t o give any account , I asked her why she did not like him . “ Oh! ” she replied, glancing over her shoulder as he slouched aft er us, “ because I —I am afraid he likes m e.” “ Did he ever t ell you he liked you?” I asked, indignant ly. “ No,” said Biddy, glancing over her shoulder again, “ he never t old m e so; but he dances at m e, whenever he can cat ch m y eye.” However novel and peculiar t his t est im ony of at t achm ent , I did not doubt t he accuracy of t he int erpret at ion. I was very hot indeed upon Old Orlick's daring t o adm ire her; as hot as if it were an out rage on m yself. “ But it m akes no difference t o you, you know,” said Biddy, calm ly. “ No, Biddy, it m akes no difference t o m e; only I don't like it ; I don't approve of it .” “ Nor I neit her,” said Biddy. “ Though t hat m akes no difference t o you.” 185

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“ Exact ly,” said I ; “ but I m ust t ell you I should have no opinion of you, Biddy, if he danced at you wit h your own consent .” I kept an eye on Orlick aft er t hat night , and, whenever circum st ances were favourable t o his dancing at Biddy, got before him , t o obscure t hat dem onst rat ion. He had st ruck root in Joe's est ablishm ent , by reason of m y sist er's sudden fancy for him , or I should have t ried t o get him dism issed. He quit e underst ood and reciprocat ed m y good int ent ions, as I had reason t o know t hereaft er. And now, because m y m ind was not confused enough before, I com plicat ed it s confusion fift y t housand- fold, by having st at es and seasons when I was clear t hat Biddy was im m easurably bet t er t han Est ella, and t hat t he plain honest working life t o which I was born, had not hing in it t o be asham ed of, but offered m e sufficient m eans of self- respect and happiness. At t hose t im es, I would decide conclusively t hat m y disaffect ion t o dear old Joe and t he forge, was gone, and t hat I was growing up in a fair way t o be part ners wit h Joe and t o keep com pany wit h Biddy—when all in a m om ent som e confounding rem em brance of t he Havisham days would fall upon m e, like a dest ruct ive m issile, and scat t er m y wit s again. Scat t ered wit s t ake a long t im e picking up; and oft en, before I had got t hem well t oget her, t hey would be dispersed in all direct ions by one st ray t hought , t hat perhaps aft er all Miss Havisham was going t o m ake m y fort une when m y t im e was out . I f m y t im e had run out , it would have left m e st ill at t he height of m y perplexit ies, I dare say. I t never did run out , 186

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however, but was brought t o a prem at ure end, as I proceed t o relat e.

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Chapt er 18 I t was in t he fourt h year of m y apprent iceship t o Joe, and it was a Sat urday night . There was a group assem bled round t he fire at t he Three Jolly Bargem en, at t ent ive t o Mr. Wopsle as he read t he newspaper aloud. Of t hat group I was one. A highly popular m urder had been com m it t ed, and Mr. Wopsle was im brued in blood t o t he eyebrows. He gloat ed over every abhorrent adj ect ive in t he descript ion, and ident ified him self wit h every wit ness at t he I nquest . He faint ly m oaned, “ I am done for,” as t he vict im , and he barbarously bellowed, “ I 'll serve you out ,” as t he m urderer. He gave t he m edical t est im ony, in point ed im it at ion of our local pract it ioner; and he piped and shook, as t he aged t urnpikekeeper who had heard blows, t o an ext ent so very paralyt ic as t o suggest a doubt regarding t he m ent al com pet ency of t hat wit ness. The coroner, in Mr. Wopsle's hands, becam e Tim on of At hens; t he beadle, Coriolanus. He enj oyed him self t horoughly, and we all enj oyed ourselves, and were delight fully com fort able. I n t his cozy st at e of m ind we cam e t o t he verdict Wilful Murder. Then, and not sooner, I becam e aware of a st range gent lem an leaning over t he back of t he set t le opposit e m e, looking on. There was an expression of cont em pt on his face, and he bit t he side of a great forefinger as he wat ched t he group of faces.

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“ Well! ” said t he st ranger t o Mr. Wopsle, when t he reading was done, “ you have set t led it all t o your own sat isfact ion, I have no doubt ?” Everybody st art ed and looked up, as if it were t he m urderer. He looked at everybody coldly and sarcast ically. “ Guilt y, of course?” said he. “ Out wit h it . Com e! ” “ Sir,” ret urned Mr. Wopsle, “ wit hout having t he honour of your acquaint ance, I do say Guilt y.” Upon t his, we all t ook courage t o unit e in a confirm at ory m urm ur. “ I know you do,” said t he st ranger; “ I knew you would. I t old you so. But now I 'll ask you a quest ion. Do you know, or do you not know, t hat t he law of England supposes every m an t o be innocent , unt il he is proved—proved—t o be guilt y?” “ Sir,” Mr. Wopsle began t o reply, “ as an Englishm an m yself, I —” “ Com e! ” said t he st ranger, bit ing his forefinger at him . “ Don't evade t he quest ion. Eit her you know it , or you don't know it . Which is it t o be?” He st ood wit h his head on one side and him self on one side, in a bullying int errogat ive m anner, and he t hrew his forefinger at Mr. Wopsle—as it were t o m ark him out —before bit ing it again. “ Now! ” said he. “ Do you know it , or don't you know it ?” “ Cert ainly I know it ,” replied Mr. Wopsle. “ Cert ainly you know it . Then why didn't you say so at first ? Now, I 'll ask you anot her quest ion; ” t aking possession of Mr. Wopsle, as if he had a right t o him . “ Do you know t hat none of t hese wit nesses have yet been cross- exam ined?” 189

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Mr. Wopsle was beginning, “ I can only say—” when t he st ranger st opped him . “ What ? You won't answer t he quest ion, yes or no? Now, I 'll t ry you again.” Throwing his finger at him again. “ At t end t o m e. Are you aware, or are you not aware, t hat none of t hese wit nesses have yet been cross- exam ined? Com e, I only want one word from you. Yes, or no?” Mr. Wopsle hesit at ed, and we all began t o conceive rat her a poor opinion of him . “ Com e! ” said t he st ranger, “ I 'll help you. You don't deserve help, but I 'll help you. Look at t hat paper you hold in your hand. What is it ?” “ What is it ?” repeat ed Mr. Wopsle, eyeing it , m uch at a loss. “ I s it ,” pursued t he st ranger in his m ost sarcast ic and suspicious m anner, “ t he print ed paper you have j ust been reading from ?” “ Undoubt edly.” “ Undoubt edly. Now, t urn t o t hat paper, and t ell m e whet her it dist inct ly st at es t hat t he prisoner expressly said t hat his legal advisers inst ruct ed him alt oget her t o reserve his defence?” “ I read t hat j ust now,” Mr. Wopsle pleaded. “ Never m ind what you read j ust now, sir; I don't ask you what you read j ust now. You m ay read t he Lord's Prayer backwards, if you like—and, perhaps, have done it before t oday. Turn t o t he paper. No, no, no m y friend; not t o t he t op of t he colum n; you know bet t er t han t hat ; t o t he bot t om , t o 190

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t he bot t om .” ( We all began t o t hink Mr. Wopsle full of subt erfuge.) “ Well? Have you found it ?” “ Here it is,” said Mr. Wopsle. “ Now, follow t hat passage wit h your eye, and t ell m e whet her it dist inct ly st at es t hat t he prisoner expressly said t hat he was inst ruct ed by his legal advisers wholly t o reserve his defence? Com e! Do you m ake t hat of it ?” Mr. Wopsle answered, “ Those are not t he exact words.” “ Not t he exact words! ” repeat ed t he gent lem an, bit t erly. “ I s t hat t he exact subst ance?” “ Yes,” said Mr. Wopsle. “ Yes,” repeat ed t he st ranger, looking round at t he rest of t he com pany wit h his right hand ext ended t owards t he wit ness, Wopsle. “ And now I ask you what you say t o t he conscience of t hat m an who, wit h t hat passage before his eyes, can lay his head upon his pillow aft er having pronounced a fellow- creat ure guilt y, unheard?” We all began t o suspect t hat Mr. Wopsle was not t he m an we had t hought him , and t hat he was beginning t o be found out . “ And t hat sam e m an, rem em ber,” pursued t he gent lem an, t hrowing his finger at Mr. Wopsle heavily; “ t hat sam e m an m ight be sum m oned as a j urym an upon t his very t rial, and, having t hus deeply com m it t ed him self, m ight ret urn t o t he bosom of his fam ily and lay his head upon his pillow, aft er deliberat ely swearing t hat he would well and t ruly t ry t he issue j oined bet ween Our Sovereign Lord t he King and t he prisoner at t he bar, and would a t rue verdict give according t o t he evidence, so help him God! ” 191

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We were all deeply persuaded t hat t he unfort unat e Wopsle had gone t oo far, and had bet t er st op in his reckless career while t here was yet t im e. The st range gent lem an, wit h an air of aut horit y not t o be disput ed, and wit h a m anner expressive of knowing som et hing secret about every one of us t hat would effect ually do for each individual if he chose t o disclose it , left t he back of t he set t le, and cam e int o t he space bet ween t he t wo set t les, in front of t he fire, where he rem ained st anding: his left hand in his pocket , and he bit ing t he forefinger of his right . “ From inform at ion I have received,” said he, looking round at us as we all quailed before him , “ I have reason t o believe t here is a blacksm it h am ong you, by nam e Joseph—or Joe— Gargery. Which is t he m an?” “ Here is t he m an,” said Joe. The st range gent lem an beckoned him out of his place, and Joe went . “ You have an apprent ice,” pursued t he st ranger, “ com m only known as Pip? I s he here?” “ I am here! ” I cried. The st ranger did not recognize m e, but I recognized him as t he gent lem an I had m et on t he st airs, on t he occasion of m y second visit t o Miss Havisham . I had known him t he m om ent I saw him looking over t he set t le, and now t hat I st ood confront ing him wit h his hand upon m y shoulder, I checked off again in det ail, his large head, his dark com plexion, his deep- set eyes, his bushy black eyebrows, his large wat ch192

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chain, his st rong black dot s of beard and whisker, and even t he sm ell of scent ed soap on his great hand. “ I wish t o have a privat e conference wit h you t wo,” said he, when he had surveyed m e at his leisure. “ I t will t ake a lit t le t im e. Perhaps we had bet t er go t o your place of residence. I prefer not t o ant icipat e m y com m unicat ion here; you will im part as m uch or as lit t le of it as you please t o your friends aft erwards; I have not hing t o do wit h t hat .” Am idst a wondering silence, we t hree walked out of t he Jolly Bargem en, and in a wondering silence walked hom e. While going along, t he st range gent lem an occasionally looked at m e, and occasionally bit t he side of his finger. As we neared hom e, Joe vaguely acknowledging t he occasion as an im pressive and cerem onious one, went on ahead t o open t he front door. Our conference was held in t he st at e parlour, which was feebly light ed by one candle. I t began wit h t he st range gent lem an's sit t ing down at t he t able, drawing t he candle t o him , and looking over som e ent ries in his pocket - book. He t hen put up t he pocket - book and set t he candle a lit t le aside: aft er peering round it int o t he darkness at Joe and m e, t o ascert ain which was which. “ My nam e,” he said, “ is Jaggers, and I am a lawyer in London. I am pret t y well known. I have unusual business t o t ransact wit h you, and I com m ence by explaining t hat it is not of m y originat ing. I f m y advice had been asked, I should not have been here. I t was not asked, and you see m e here. What I have t o do as t he confident ial agent of anot her, I do. No less, no m ore.” 193

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Finding t hat he could not see us very well from where he sat , he got up, and t hrew one leg over t he back of a chair and leaned upon it ; t hus having one foot on t he seat of t he chair, and one foot on t he ground. “ Now, Joseph Gargery, I am t he bearer of an offer t o relieve you of t his young fellow your apprent ice. You would not obj ect t o cancel his indent ures, at his request and for his good? You would want not hing for so doing?” “ Lord forbid t hat I should want anyt hing for not st anding in Pip's way,” said Joe, st aring. “ Lord forbidding is pious, but not t o t he purpose,” ret urned Mr Jaggers. “ The quest ion is, Would you want anyt hing? Do you want anyt hing?” “ The answer is,” ret urned Joe, st ernly, “ No.” I t hought Mr. Jaggers glanced at Joe, as if he considered him a fool for his disint erest edness. But I was t oo m uch bewildered bet ween breat hless curiosit y and surprise, t o be sure of it . “ Very well,” said Mr. Jaggers. “ Recollect t he adm ission you have m ade, and don't t ry t o go from it present ly.” “ Who's a- going t o t ry?” ret ort ed Joe. “ I don't say anybody is. Do you keep a dog?” “ Yes, I do keep a dog.” “ Bear in m ind t hen, t hat Brag is a good dog, but Holdfast is a bet t er. Bear t hat in m ind, will you?” repeat ed Mr. Jaggers, shut t ing his eyes and nodding his head at Joe, as if he were forgiving him som et hing. “ Now, I ret urn t o t his young fellow. And t he com m unicat ion I have got t o m ake is, t hat he has great expect at ions.” 194

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Joe and I gasped, and looked at one anot her. “ I am inst ruct ed t o com m unicat e t o him ,” said Mr. Jaggers, t hrowing his finger at m e sideways, “ t hat he will com e int o a handsom e propert y. Furt her, t hat it is t he desire of t he present possessor of t hat propert y, t hat he be im m ediat ely rem oved from his present sphere of life and from t his place, and be brought up as a gent lem an—in a word, as a young fellow of great expect at ions.” My dream was out ; m y wild fancy was surpassed by sober realit y; Miss Havisham was going t o m ake m y fort une on a grand scale. “ Now, Mr. Pip,” pursued t he lawyer, “ I address t he rest of what I have t o say, t o you. You are t o underst and, first , t hat it is t he request of t he person from whom I t ake m y inst ruct ions, t hat you always bear t he nam e of Pip. You will have no obj ect ion, I dare say, t o your great expect at ions being encum bered wit h t hat easy condit ion. But if you have any obj ect ion, t his is t he t im e t o m ent ion it .” My heart was beat ing so fast , and t here was such a singing in m y ears, t hat I could scarcely st am m er I had no obj ect ion. “ I should t hink not ! Now you are t o underst and, secondly, Mr. Pip, t hat t he nam e of t he person who is your liberal benefact or rem ains a profound secret , unt il t he person chooses t o reveal it . I am em powered t o m ent ion t hat it is t he int ent ion of t he person t o reveal it at first hand by word of m out h t o yourself. When or where t hat int ent ion m ay be carried out , I cannot say; no one can say. I t m ay be years hence. Now, you are dist inct ly t o underst and t hat you are m ost posit ively prohibit ed from m aking any inquiry on t his 195

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head, or any allusion or reference, however dist ant , t o any individual whom soever as t he individual, in all t he com m unicat ions you m ay have wit h m e. I f you have a suspicion in your own breast , keep t hat suspicion in your own breast . I t is not t he least t o t he purpose what t he reasons of t his prohibit ion are; t hey m ay be t he st rongest and gravest reasons, or t hey m ay be m ere whim . This is not for you t o inquire int o. The condit ion is laid down. Your accept ance of it , and your observance of it as binding, is t he only rem aining condit ion t hat I am charged wit h, by t he person from whom I t ake m y inst ruct ions, and for whom I am not ot herwise responsible. That person is t he person from whom you derive your expect at ions, and t he secret is solely held by t hat person and by m e. Again, not a very difficult condit ion wit h which t o encum ber such a rise in fort une; but if you have any obj ect ion t o it , t his is t he t im e t o m ent ion it . Speak out .” Once m ore, I st am m ered wit h difficult y t hat I had no obj ect ion. “ I should t hink not ! Now, Mr. Pip, I have done wit h st ipulat ions.” Though he called m e Mr. Pip, and began rat her t o m ake up t o m e, he st ill could not get rid of a cert ain air of bullying suspicion; and even now he occasionally shut his eyes and t hrew his finger at m e while he spoke, as m uch as t o express t hat he knew all kinds of t hings t o m y disparagem ent , if he only chose t o m ent ion t hem . “ We com e next , t o m ere det ails of arrangem ent . You m ust know t hat , alt hough I have used t he t erm “ expect at ions” m ore t han once, you are not endowed wit h expect at ions only. There is already lodged in m y hands, a sum of m oney am ply sufficient 196

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for your suit able educat ion and m aint enance. You will please consider m e your guardian. Oh! ” for I was going t o t hank him , “ I t ell you at once, I am paid for m y services, or I shouldn't render t hem . I t is considered t hat you m ust be bet t er educat ed, in accordance wit h your alt ered posit ion, and t hat you will be alive t o t he im port ance and necessit y of at once ent ering on t hat advant age.” I said I had always longed for it . “ Never m ind what you have always longed for, Mr. Pip,” he ret ort ed; “ keep t o t he record. I f you long for it now, t hat 's enough. Am I answered t hat you are ready t o be placed at once, under som e proper t ut or? I s t hat it ?” I st am m ered yes, t hat was it . “ Good. Now, your inclinat ions are t o be consult ed. I don't t hink t hat wise, m ind, but it 's m y t rust . Have you ever heard of any t ut or whom you would prefer t o anot her?” I had never heard of any t ut or but Biddy and Mr. Wopsle's great aunt ; so, I replied in t he negat ive. “ There is a cert ain t ut or, of whom I have som e knowledge, who I t hink m ight suit t he purpose,” said Mr. Jaggers. “ I don't recom m end him , observe; because I never recom m end anybody. The gent lem an I speak of, is one Mr. Mat t hew Pocket .” Ah! I caught at t he nam e direct ly. Miss Havisham 's relat ion. The Mat t hew whom Mr. and Mrs. Cam illa had spoken of. The Mat t hew whose place was t o be at Miss Havisham 's head, when she lay dead, in her bride's dress on t he bride's t able. 197

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“ You know t he nam e?” said Mr. Jaggers, looking shrewdly at m e, and t hen shut t ing up his eyes while he wait ed for m y answer. My answer was, t hat I had heard of t he nam e. “ Oh! ” said he. “ You have heard of t he nam e. But t he quest ion is, what do you say of it ?” I said, or t ried t o say, t hat I was m uch obliged t o him for his recom m endat ion— “ No, m y young friend! ” he int errupt ed, shaking his great head very slowly. “ Recollect yourself! ” Not recollect ing m yself, I began again t hat I was m uch obliged t o him for his recom m endat ion— “ No, m y young friend,” he int errupt ed, shaking his head and frowning and sm iling bot h at once; “ no, no, no; it 's very well done, but it won't do; you are t oo young t o fix m e wit h it . Recom m endat ion is not t he word, Mr. Pip. Try anot her.” Correct ing m yself, I said t hat I was m uch obliged t o him for his m ent ion of Mr. Mat t hew Pocket — “ That 's m ore like it ! ” cried Mr. Jaggers. —And ( I added) , I would gladly t ry t hat gent lem an. “ Good. You had bet t er t ry him in his own house. The way shall be prepared for you, and you can see his son first , who is in London. When will you com e t o London?” I said ( glancing at Joe, who st ood looking on, m ot ionless) , t hat I supposed I could com e direct ly. “ First ,” said Mr. Jaggers, “ you should have som e new clot hes t o com e in, and t hey should not be working clot hes. Say t his day week. You'll want som e m oney. Shall I leave you t went y guineas?” 198

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He produced a long purse, wit h t he great est coolness, and count ed t hem out on t he t able and pushed t hem over t o m e. This was t he first t im e he had t aken his leg from t he chair. He sat ast ride of t he chair when he had pushed t he m oney over, and sat swinging his purse and eyeing Joe. “ Well, Joseph Gargery? You look dum bfoundered?” “ I am ! ” said Joe, in a very decided m anner. “ I t was underst ood t hat you want ed not hing for yourself, rem em ber?” “ I t were underst ood,” said Joe. “ And it are underst ood. And it ever will be sim ilar according.” “ But what ,” said Mr. Jaggers, swinging his purse, “ what if it was in m y inst ruct ions t o m ake you a present , as com pensat ion?” “ As com pensat ion what for?” Joe dem anded. “ For t he loss of his services.” Joe laid his hand upon m y shoulder wit h t he t ouch of a wom an. I have oft en t hought him since, like t he st eam ham m er, t hat can crush a m an or pat an egg- shell, in his com binat ion of st rengt h wit h gent leness. “ Pip is t hat heart y welcom e,” said Joe, “ t o go free wit h his services, t o honour and fort un', as no words can t ell him . But if you t hink as Money can m ake com pensat ion t o m e for t he loss of t he lit t le child—what com e t o t he forge—and ever t he best of friends! — ” O dear good Joe, whom I was so ready t o leave and so unt hankful t o, I see you again, wit h your m uscular blacksm it h's arm before your eyes, and your broad chest heaving, and your voice dying away. O dear good fait hful 199

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t ender Joe, I feel t he loving t rem ble of your hand upon m y arm , as solem nly t his day as if it had been t he rust le of an angel's wing! But I encouraged Joe at t he t im e. I was lost in t he m azes of m y fut ure fort unes, and could not ret race t he by- pat hs we had t rodden t oget her. I begged Joe t o be com fort ed, for ( as he said) we had ever been t he best of friends, and ( as I said) we ever would be so. Joe scooped his eyes wit h his disengaged wrist , as if he were bent on gouging him self, but said not anot her word. Mr. Jaggers had looked on at t his, as one who recognized in Joe t he village idiot , and in m e his keeper. When it was over, he said, weighing in his hand t he purse he had ceased t o swing: “ Now, Joseph Gargery, I warn you t his is your last chance. No half m easures wit h m e. I f you m ean t o t ake a present t hat I have it in charge t o m ake you, speak out , and you shall have it . I f on t he cont rary you m ean t o say—” Here, t o his great am azem ent , he was st opped by Joe's suddenly working round him wit h every dem onst rat ion of a fell pugilist ic purpose. “ Which I m eant ersay,” cried Joe, “ t hat if you com e int o m y place bull- bait ing and badgering m e, com e out ! Which I m eant ersay as sech if you're a m an, com e on! Which I m eant ersay t hat what I say, I m eant ersay and st and or fall by! ” I drew Joe away, and he im m ediat ely becam e placable; m erely st at ing t o m e, in an obliging m anner and as a polit e expost ulat ory not ice t o any one whom it m ight happen t o 200

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concern, t hat he were not a going t o be bull- bait ed and badgered in his own place. Mr. Jaggers had risen when Joe dem onst rat ed, and had backed near t he door. Wit hout evincing any inclinat ion t o com e in again, he t here delivered his valedict ory rem arks. They were t hese: “ Well, Mr. Pip, I t hink t he sooner you leave here—as you are t o be a gent lem an—t he bet t er. Let it st and for t his day week, and you shall receive m y print ed address in t he m eant im e. You can t ake a hackney- coach at t he st age- coach office in London, and com e st raight t o m e. Underst and, t hat I express no opinion, one way or ot her, on t he t rust I undert ake. I am paid for undert aking it , and I do so. Now, underst and t hat , finally. Underst and t hat ! ” He was t hrowing his finger at bot h of us, and I t hink would have gone on, but for his seem ing t o t hink Joe dangerous, and going off. Som et hing cam e int o m y head which induced m e t o run aft er him , as he was going down t o t he Jolly Bargem en where he had left a hired carriage. “ I beg your pardon, Mr. Jaggers.” “ Halloa! ” said he, facing round, “ what 's t he m at t er?” “ I wish t o be quit e right , Mr. Jaggers, and t o keep t o your direct ions; so I t hought I had bet t er ask. Would t here be any obj ect ion t o m y t aking leave of any one I know, about here, before I go away?” “ No,” said he, looking as if he hardly underst ood m e. “ I don't m ean in t he village only, but up- t own?” “ No,” said he. “ No obj ect ion.” 201

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I t hanked him and ran hom e again, and t here I found t hat Joe had already locked t he front door and vacat ed t he st at e parlour, and was seat ed by t he kit chen fire wit h a hand on each knee, gazing int ent ly at t he burning coals. I t oo sat down before t he fire and gazed at t he coals, and not hing was said for a long t im e. My sist er was in her cushioned chair in her corner, and Biddy sat at her needlework before t he fire, and Joe sat next Biddy, and I sat next Joe in t he corner opposit e m y sist er. The m ore I looked int o t he glowing coals, t he m ore incapable I becam e of looking at Joe; t he longer t he silence last ed, t he m ore unable I felt t o speak. At lengt h I got out , “ Joe, have you t old Biddy?” “ No, Pip,” ret urned Joe, st ill looking at t he fire, and holding his knees t ight , as if he had privat e inform at ion t hat t hey int ended t o m ake off som ewhere, “ which I left it t o yourself, Pip.” “ I would rat her you t old, Joe.” “ Pip's a gent lem an of fort un’ t hen,” said Joe, “ and God bless him in it ! ” Biddy dropped her work, and looked at m e. Joe held his knees and looked at m e. I looked at bot h of t hem . Aft er a pause, t hey bot h heart ily congrat ulat ed m e; but t here was a cert ain t ouch of sadness in t heir congrat ulat ions, t hat I rat her resent ed. I t ook it upon m yself t o im press Biddy ( and t hrough Biddy, Joe) wit h t he grave obligat ion I considered m y friends under, t o know not hing and say not hing about t he m aker of m y fort une. I t would all com e out in good t im e, I observed, and 202

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in t he m eanwhile not hing was t o be said, save t hat I had com e int o great expect at ions from a m yst erious pat ron. Biddy nodded her head t hought fully at t he fire as she t ook up her work again, and said she would be very part icular; and Joe, st ill det aining his knees, said, “ Ay, ay, I 'll be ekervally part ickler, Pip; ” and t hen t hey congrat ulat ed m e again, and went on t o express so m uch wonder at t he not ion of m y being a gent lem an, t hat I didn't half like it . I nfinit e pains were t hen t aken by Biddy t o convey t o m y sist er som e idea of what had happened. To t he best of m y belief, t hose effort s ent irely failed. She laughed and nodded her head a great m any t im es, and even repeat ed aft er Biddy, t he words “ Pip” and “ Propert y.” But I doubt if t hey had m ore m eaning in t hem t han an elect ion cry, and I cannot suggest a darker pict ure of her st at e of m ind. I never could have believed it wit hout experience, but as Joe and Biddy becam e m ore at t heir cheerful ease again, I becam e quit e gloom y. Dissat isfied wit h m y fort une, of course I could not be; but it is possible t hat I m ay have been, wit hout quit e knowing it , dissat isfied wit h m yself. Anyhow, I sat wit h m y elbow on m y knee and m y face upon m y hand, looking int o t he fire, as t hose t wo t alked about m y going away, and about what t hey should do wit hout m e, and all t hat . And whenever I caught one of t hem looking at m e, t hough never so pleasant ly ( and t hey oft en looked at m e—part icularly Biddy) , I felt offended: as if t hey were expressing som e m ist rust of m e. Though Heaven knows t hey never did by word or sign. 203

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At t hose t im es I would get up and look out at t he door; for, our kit chen door opened at once upon t he night , and st ood open on sum m er evenings t o air t he room . The very st ars t o which I t hen raised m y eyes, I am afraid I t ook t o be but poor and hum ble st ars for glit t ering on t he rust ic obj ect s am ong which I had passed m y life. “ Sat urday night ,” said I , when we sat at our supper of bread- and- cheese and beer. “ Five m ore days, and t hen t he day before t he day! They'll soon go.” “ Yes, Pip,” observed Joe, whose voice sounded hollow in his beer m ug. “ They'll soon go.” “ Soon, soon go,” said Biddy. “ I have been t hinking, Joe, t hat when I go down t own on Monday, and order m y new clot hes, I shall t ell t he t ailor t hat I 'll com e and put t hem on t here, or t hat I 'll have t hem sent t o Mr. Pum blechook's. I t would be very disagreeable t o be st ared at by all t he people here.” “ Mr. and Mrs. Hubble m ight like t o see you in your new gent eel figure t oo, Pip,” said Joe, indust riously cut t ing his bread, wit h his cheese on it , in t he palm of his left hand, and glancing at m y unt ast ed supper as if he t hought of t he t im e when we used t o com pare slices. “ So m ight Wopsle. And t he Jolly Bargem en m ight t ake it as a com plim ent .” “ That 's j ust what I don't want , Joe. They would m ake such a business of it —such a coarse and com m on business—t hat I couldn't bear m yself.” “ Ah, t hat indeed, Pip! ” said Joe. “ I f you couldn't abear yourself—” 204

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Biddy asked m e here, as she sat holding m y sist er's plat e, “ Have you t hought about when you'll show yourself t o Mr. Gargery, and your sist er, and m e? You will show yourself t o us; won't you?” “ Biddy,” I ret urned wit h som e resent m ent , “ you are so exceedingly quick t hat it 's difficult t o keep up wit h you.” ( " She always were quick,” observed Joe.) “ I f you had wait ed anot her m om ent , Biddy, you would have heard m e say t hat I shall bring m y clot hes here in a bundle one evening—m ost likely on t he evening before I go away.” Biddy said no m ore. Handsom ely forgiving her, I soon exchanged an affect ionat e good- night wit h her and Joe, and went up t o bed. When I got int o m y lit t le room , I sat down and t ook a long look at it , as a m ean lit t le room t hat I should soon be part ed from and raised above, for ever, I t was furnished wit h fresh young rem em brances t oo, and even at t he sam e m om ent I fell int o m uch t he sam e confused division of m ind bet ween it and t he bet t er room s t o which I was going, as I had been in so oft en bet ween t he forge and Miss Havisham 's, and Biddy and Est ella. The sun had been shining bright ly all day on t he roof of m y at t ic, and t he room was warm . As I put t he window open and st ood looking out , I saw Joe com e slowly fort h at t he dark door below, and t ake a t urn or t wo in t he air; and t hen I saw Biddy com e, and bring him a pipe and light it for him . He never sm oked so lat e, and it seem ed t o hint t o m e t hat he want ed com fort ing, for som e reason or ot her. 205

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He present ly st ood at t he door im m ediat ely beneat h m e, sm oking his pipe, and Biddy st ood t here t oo, quiet ly t alking t o him , and I knew t hat t hey t alked of m e, for I heard m y nam e m ent ioned in an endearing t one by bot h of t hem m ore t han once. I would not have list ened for m ore, if I could have heard m ore: so, I drew away from t he window, and sat down in m y one chair by t he bedside, feeling it very sorrowful and st range t hat t his first night of m y bright fort unes should be t he loneliest I had ever known. Looking t owards t he open window, I saw light wreat hs from Joe's pipe float ing t here, and I fancied it was like a blessing from Joe—not obt ruded on m e or paraded before m e, but pervading t he air we shared t oget her. I put m y light out , and crept int o bed; and it was an uneasy bed now, and I never slept t he old sound sleep in it any m ore.

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Chapt er 19 Morning m ade a considerable difference in m y general prospect of Life, and bright ened it so m uch t hat it scarcely seem ed t he sam e. What lay heaviest on m y m ind, was, t he considerat ion t hat six days int ervened bet ween m e and t he day of depart ure; for, I could not divest m yself of a m isgiving t hat som et hing m ight happen t o London in t he m eanwhile, and t hat , when I got t here, it would be eit her great ly det eriorat ed or clean gone. Joe and Biddy were very sym pat het ic and pleasant when I spoke of our approaching separat ion; but t hey only referred t o it when I did. Aft er breakfast , Joe brought out m y indent ures from t he press in t he best parlour, and we put t hem in t he fire, and I felt t hat I was free. Wit h all t he novelt y of m y em ancipat ion on m e, I went t o church wit h Joe, and t hought , perhaps t he clergym an wouldn't have read t hat about t he rich m an and t he kingdom of Heaven, if he had known all. Aft er our early dinner I st rolled out alone, purposing t o finish off t he m arshes at once, and get t hem done wit h. As I passed t he church, I felt ( as I had felt during service in t he m orning) a sublim e com passion for t he poor creat ures who were dest ined t o go t here, Sunday aft er Sunday, all t heir lives t hrough, and t o lie obscurely at last am ong t he low green m ounds. I prom ised m yself t hat I would do som et hing for t hem one of t hese days, and form ed a plan in out line for best owing a dinner of roast - beef and plum pudding, a pint of 207

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ale, and a gallon of condescension, upon everybody in t he village. I f I had oft en t hought before, wit h som et hing allied t o sham e, of m y com panionship wit h t he fugit ive whom I had once seen lim ping am ong t hose graves, what were m y t hought s on t his Sunday, when t he place recalled t he wret ch, ragged and shivering, wit h his felon iron and badge! My com fort was, t hat it happened a long t im e ago, and t hat he had doubt less been t ransport ed a long way off, and t hat he was dead t o m e, and m ight be verit ably dead int o t he bargain. No m ore low wet grounds, no m ore dykes and sluices, no m ore of t hese grazing cat t le—t hough t hey seem ed, in t heir dull m anner, t o wear a m ore respect ful air now, and t o face round, in order t hat t hey m ight st are as long as possible at t he possessor of such great expect at ions—farewell, m onot onous acquaint ances of m y childhood, hencefort h I was for London and great ness: not for sm it h's work in general and for you! I m ade m y exult ant way t o t he old Bat t ery, and, lying down t here t o consider t he quest ion whet her Miss Havisham int ended m e for Est ella, fell asleep. When I awoke, I was m uch surprised t o find Joe sit t ing beside m e, sm oking his pipe. He greet ed m e wit h a cheerful sm ile on m y opening m y eyes, and said: “ As being t he last t im e, Pip, I t hought I 'd foller.” “ And Joe, I am very glad you did so.” “ Thankee, Pip.” “ You m ay be sure, dear Joe,” I went on, aft er we had shaken hands, “ t hat I shall never forget you.” 208

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“ No, no, Pip! ” said Joe, in a com fort able t one, “ I 'm sure of t hat . Ay, ay, old chap! Bless you, it were only necessary t o get it well round in a m an's m ind, t o be cert ain on it . But it t ook a bit of t im e t o get it well round, t he change com e so oncom m on plum p; didn't it ?” Som ehow, I was not best pleased wit h Joe's being so m ight ily secure of m e. I should have liked him t o have bet rayed em ot ion, or t o have said, “ I t does you credit , Pip,” or som et hing of t hat sort . Therefore, I m ade no rem ark on Joe's first head: m erely saying as t o his second, t hat t he t idings had indeed com e suddenly, but t hat I had always want ed t o be a gent lem an, and had oft en and oft en speculat ed on what I would do, if I were one. “ Have you t hough?” said Joe. “ Ast onishing! ” “ I t 's a pit y now, Joe,” said I , “ t hat you did not get on a lit t le m ore, when we had our lessons here; isn't it ?” “ Well, I don't know,” ret urned Joe. “ I 'm so awful dull. I 'm only m ast er of m y own t rade. I t were always a pit y as I was so awful dull; but it 's no m ore of a pit y now, t han it was—t his day t welvem ont h—don't you see?” What I had m eant was, t hat when I cam e int o m y propert y and was able t o do som et hing for Joe, it would have been m uch m ore agreeable if he had been bet t er qualified for a rise in st at ion. He was so perfect ly innocent of m y m eaning, however, t hat I t hought I would m ent ion it t o Biddy in preference. So, when we had walked hom e and had had t ea, I t ook Biddy int o our lit t le garden by t he side of t he lane, and, aft er t hrowing out in a general way for t he elevat ion of her spirit s, 209

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t hat I should never forget her, said I had a favour t o ask of her. “ And it is, Biddy,” said I , “ t hat you will not om it any opport unit y of helping Joe on, a lit t le.” “ How helping him on?” asked Biddy, wit h a st eady sort of glance. “ Well! Joe is a dear good fellow—in fact , I t hink he is t he dearest fellow t hat ever lived—but he is rat her backward in som e t hings. For inst ance, Biddy, in his learning and his m anners.” Alt hough I was looking at Biddy as I spoke, and alt hough she opened her eyes very wide when I had spoken, she did not look at m e. “ Oh, his m anners! won't his m anners do, t hen?” asked Biddy, plucking a black- currant leaf. “ My dear Biddy, t hey do very well here—” “ Oh! t hey do very well here?” int errupt ed Biddy, looking closely at t he leaf in her hand. “ Hear m e out —but if I were t o rem ove Joe int o a higher sphere, as I shall hope t o rem ove him when I fully com e int o m y propert y, t hey would hardly do him j ust ice.” “ And don't you t hink he knows t hat ?” asked Biddy. I t was such a very provoking quest ion ( for it had never in t he m ost dist ant m anner occurred t o m e) , t hat I said, snappishly, “ Biddy, what do you m ean?” Biddy having rubbed t he leaf t o pieces bet ween her hands—and t he sm ell of a black- currant bush has ever since recalled t o m e t hat evening in t he lit t le garden by t he side of 210

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t he lane—said, “ Have you never considered t hat he m ay be proud?” “ Proud?” I repeat ed, wit h disdainful em phasis. “ Oh! t here are m any kinds of pride,” said Biddy, looking full at m e and shaking her head; “ pride is not all of one kind— ” “ Well? What are you st opping for?” said I . “ Not all of one kind,” resum ed Biddy. “ He m ay be t oo proud t o let any one t ake him out of a place t hat he is com pet ent t o fill, and fills well and wit h respect . To t ell you t he t rut h, I t hink he is: t hough it sounds bold in m e t o say so, for you m ust know him far bet t er t han I do.” “ Now, Biddy,” said I , “ I am very sorry t o see t his in you. I did not expect t o see t his in you. You are envious, Biddy, and grudging. You are dissat isfied on account of m y rise in fort une, and you can't help showing it .” “ I f you have t he heart t o t hink so,” ret urned Biddy, “ say so. Say so over and over again, if you have t he heart t o t hink so.” “ I f you have t he heart t o be so, you m ean, Biddy,” said I , in a virt uous and superior t one; “ don't put it off upon m e. I am very sorry t o see it , and it 's a—it 's a bad side of hum an nat ure. I did int end t o ask you t o use any lit t le opport unit ies you m ight have aft er I was gone, of im proving dear Joe. But aft er t his, I ask you not hing. I am ext rem ely sorry t o see t his in you, Biddy,” I repeat ed. “ I t 's a—it 's a bad side of hum an nat ure.” “ Whet her you scold m e or approve of m e,” ret urned poor Biddy, “ you m ay equally depend upon m y t rying t o do all t hat 211

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lies in m y power, here, at all t im es. And what ever opinion you t ake away of m e, shall m ake no difference in m y rem em brance of you. Yet a gent lem an should not be unj ust neit her,” said Biddy, t urning away her head. I again warm ly repeat ed t hat it was a bad side of hum an nat ure ( in which sent im ent , waiving it s applicat ion, I have since seen reason t o t hink I was right ) , and I walked down t he lit t le pat h away from Biddy, and Biddy went int o t he house, and I went out at t he garden gat e and t ook a dej ect ed st roll unt il supper- t im e; again feeling it very sorrowful and st range t hat t his, t he second night of m y bright fort unes, should be as lonely and unsat isfact ory as t he first . But , m orning once m ore bright ened m y view, and I ext ended m y clem ency t o Biddy, and we dropped t he subj ect . Put t ing on t he best clot hes I had, I went int o t own as early as I could hope t o find t he shops open, and present ed m yself before Mr. Trabb, t he t ailor: who was having his breakfast in t he parlour behind his shop, and who did not t hink it wort h his while t o com e out t o m e, but called m e in t o him . “ Well! ” said Mr. Trabb, in a hail- fellow- well- m et kind of way. “ How are you, and what can I do for you?” Mr. Trabb had sliced his hot roll int o t hree feat her beds, and was slipping but t er in bet ween t he blanket s, and covering it up. He was a prosperous old bachelor, and his open window looked int o a prosperous lit t le garden and orchard, and t here was a prosperous iron safe let int o t he wall at t he side of his fireplace, and I did not doubt t hat heaps of his prosperit y were put away in it in bags. 212

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“ Mr. Trabb,” said I , “ it 's an unpleasant t hing t o have t o m ent ion, because it looks like boast ing; but I have com e int o a handsom e propert y.” A change passed over Mr. Trabb. He forgot t he but t er in bed, got up from t he bedside, and wiped his fingers on t he t able- clot h, exclaim ing, “ Lord bless m y soul! ” “ I am going up t o m y guardian in London,” said I , casually drawing som e guineas out of m y pocket and looking at t hem ; “ and I want a fashionable suit of clot hes t o go in. I wish t o pay for t hem ,” I added—ot herwise I t hought he m ight only pret end t o m ake t hem —" wit h ready m oney.” “ My dear sir,” said Mr. Trabb, as he respect fully bent his body, opened his arm s, and t ook t he libert y of t ouching m e on t he out side of each elbow, “ don't hurt m e by m ent ioning t hat . May I vent ure t o congrat ulat e you? Would you do m e t he favour of st epping int o t he shop?” Mr. Trabb's boy was t he m ost audacious boy in all t hat count ryside. When I had ent ered he was sweeping t he shop, and he had sweet ened his labours by sweeping over m e. He was st ill sweeping when I cam e out int o t he shop wit h Mr. Trabb, and he knocked t he broom against all possible corners and obst acles, t o express ( as I underst ood it ) equalit y wit h any blacksm it h, alive or dead. “ Hold t hat noise,” said Mr. Trabb, wit h t he great est st ernness, “ or I 'll knock your head off! Do m e t he favour t o be seat ed, sir. Now, t his,” said Mr. Trabb, t aking down a roll of clot h, and t iding it out in a flowing m anner over t he count er, preparat ory t o get t ing his hand under it t o show t he gloss, “ is a very sweet art icle. I can recom m end it for your 213

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purpose, sir, because it really is ext ra super. But you shall see som e ot hers. Give m e Num ber Four, you! ” ( To t he boy, and wit h a dreadfully severe st are: foreseeing t he danger of t hat m iscreant 's brushing m e wit h it , or m aking som e ot her sign of fam iliarit y.) Mr. Trabb never rem oved his st ern eye from t he boy unt il he had deposit ed num ber four on t he count er and was at a safe dist ance again. Then, he com m anded him t o bring num ber five, and num ber eight . “ And let m e have none of your t ricks here,” said Mr. Trabb, “ or you shall repent it , you young scoundrel, t he longest day you have t o live.” Mr. Trabb t hen bent over num ber four, and in a sort of deferent ial confidence recom m ended it t o m e as a light art icle for sum m er wear, an art icle m uch in vogue am ong t he nobilit y and gent ry, an art icle t hat it would ever be an honour t o him t o reflect upon a dist inguished fellow- t ownsm an's ( if he m ight claim m e for a fellow- t ownsm an) having worn. “ Are you bringing num bers five and eight , you vagabond,” said Mr. Trabb t o t he boy aft er t hat , “ or shall I kick you out of t he shop and bring t hem m yself?” I select ed t he m at erials for a suit , wit h t he assist ance of Mr. Trabb's j udgm ent , and re- ent ered t he parlour t o be m easured. For, alt hough Mr. Trabb had m y m easure already, and had previously been quit e cont ent ed wit h it , he said apologet ically t hat it “ wouldn't do under exist ing circum st ances, sir—wouldn't do at all.” So, Mr. Trabb m easured and calculat ed m e, in t he parlour, as if I were an est at e and he t he finest species of surveyor, and gave him self such a world of t rouble t hat I felt t hat no suit of clot hes could 214

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possibly rem unerat e him for his pains. When he had at last done and had appoint ed t o send t he art icles t o Mr. Pum blechook's on t he Thursday evening, he said, wit h his hand upon t he parlour lock, “ I know, sir, t hat London gent lem en cannot be expect ed t o pat ronize local work, as a rule; but if you would give m e a t urn now and t hen in t he qualit y of a t ownsm an, I should great ly est eem it . Good m orning, sir, m uch obliged.—Door! ” The last word was flung at t he boy, who had not t he least not ion what it m eant . But I saw him collapse as his m ast er rubbed m e out wit h his hands, and m y first decided experience of t he st upendous power of m oney, was, t hat it had m orally laid upon his back, Trabb's boy. Aft er t his m em orable event , I went t o t he hat t er's, and t he boot m aker's, and t he hosier's, and felt rat her like Mot her Hubbard's dog whose out fit required t he services of so m any t rades. I also went t o t he coach- office and t ook m y place for seven o'clock on Sat urday m orning. I t was not necessary t o explain everywhere t hat I had com e int o a handsom e propert y; but whenever I said anyt hing t o t hat effect , it followed t hat t he officiat ing t radesm an ceased t o have his at t ent ion divert ed t hrough t he window by t he High- st reet , and concent rat ed his m ind upon m e. When I had ordered everyt hing I want ed, I direct ed m y st eps t owards Pum blechook's, and, as I approached t hat gent lem an's place of business, I saw him st anding at his door. He was wait ing for m e wit h great im pat ience. He had been out early in t he chaise- cart , and had called at t he forge and heard t he news. He had prepared a collat ion for m e in t he 215

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Barnwell parlour, and he t oo ordered his shopm an t o “ com e out of t he gangway” as m y sacred person passed. “ My dear friend,” said Mr. Pum blechook, t aking m e by bot h hands, when he and I and t he collat ion were alone, “ I give you j oy of your good fort une. Well deserved, well deserved! ” This was com ing t o t he point , and I t hought it a sensible way of expressing him self. “ To t hink,” said Mr. Pum blechook, aft er snort ing adm irat ion at m e for som e m om ent s, “ t hat I should have been t he hum ble inst rum ent of leading up t o t his, is a proud reward.” I begged Mr. Pum blechook t o rem em ber t hat not hing was t o be ever said or hint ed, on t hat point . “ My dear young friend,” said Mr. Pum blechook, “ if you will allow m e t o call you so—” I m urm ured “ Cert ainly,” and Mr. Pum blechook t ook m e by bot h hands again, and com m unicat ed a m ovem ent t o his waist coat , which had an em ot ional appearance, t hough it was rat her low down, “ My dear young friend, rely upon m y doing m y lit t le all in your absence, by keeping t he fact before t he m ind of Joseph.—Joseph! ” said Mr. Pum blechook, in t he way of a com passionat e adj urat ion. “ Joseph! ! Joseph! ! ! ” Thereupon he shook his head and t apped it , expressing his sense of deficiency in Joseph. “ But m y dear young friend,” said Mr. Pum blechook, “ you m ust be hungry, you m ust be exhaust ed. Be seat ed. Here is a chicken had round from t he Boar, here is a t ongue had round from t he Boar, here's one or t wo lit t le t hings had round from t he Boar, t hat I hope you m ay not despise. But do I ,” said Mr. 216

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Pum blechook, get t ing up again t he m om ent aft er he had sat down, “ see afore m e, him as I ever sport ed wit h in his t im es of happy infancy? And m ay I —m ay I —?” This May I , m eant m ight he shake hands? I consent ed, and he was fervent , and t hen sat down again. “ Here is wine,” said Mr. Pum blechook. “ Let us drink, Thanks t o Fort une, and m ay she ever pick out her favourit es wit h equal j udgm ent ! And yet I cannot ,” said Mr. Pum blechook, get t ing up again, “ see afore m e One—and likewise drink t o One—wit hout again expressing—May I —m ay I —?” I said he m ight , and he shook hands wit h m e again, and em pt ied his glass and t urned it upside down. I did t he sam e; and if I had t urned m yself upside down before drinking, t he wine could not have gone m ore direct t o m y head. Mr. Pum blechook helped m e t o t he liver wing, and t o t he best slice of t ongue ( none of t hose out - of- t he- way No Thoroughfares of Pork now) , and t ook, com parat ively speaking, no care of him self at all. “ Ah! poult ry, poult ry! You lit t le t hought ,” said Mr. Pum blechook, apost rophizing t he fowl in t he dish, “ when you was a young fledgling, what was in st ore for you. You lit t le t hought you was t o be refreshm ent beneat h t his hum ble roof for one as—Call it a weakness, if you will,” said Mr. Pum blechook, get t ing up again, “ but m ay I ? m ay I —?” I t began t o be unnecessary t o repeat t he form of saying he m ight , so he did it at once. How he ever did it so oft en wit hout wounding him self wit h m y knife, I don't know. 217

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“ And your sist er,” he resum ed, aft er a lit t le st eady eat ing, “ which had t he honour of bringing you up by hand! I t 's a sad pict er, t o reflect t hat she's no longer equal t o fully underst anding t he honour. May—” I saw he was about t o com e at m e again, and I st opped him . “ We'll drink her healt h,” said I . “ Ah! ” cried Mr. Pum blechook, leaning back in his chair, quit e flaccid wit h adm irat ion, “ t hat 's t he way you know ‘em , sir! ” ( I don't know who Sir was, but he cert ainly was not I , and t here was no t hird person present ) ; “ t hat 's t he way you know t he noblem inded, sir! Ever forgiving and ever affable. I t m ight ,” said t he servile Pum blechook, put t ing down his unt ast ed glass in a hurry and get t ing up again, “ t o a com m on person, have t he appearance of repeat ing—but m ay I —?” When he had done it , he resum ed his seat and drank t o m y sist er. “ Let us never be blind,” said Mr. Pum blechook, “ t o her fault s of t em per, but it is t o be hoped she m eant well.” At about t his t im e, I began t o observe t hat he was get t ing flushed in t he face; as t o m yself, I felt all face, st eeped in wine and sm art ing. I m ent ioned t o Mr. Pum blechook t hat I wished t o have m y new clot hes sent t o his house, and he was ecst at ic on m y so dist inguishing him . I m ent ioned m y reason for desiring t o avoid observat ion in t he village, and he lauded it t o t he skies. There was nobody but him self, he int im at ed, wort hy of m y confidence, and—in short , m ight he? Then he asked m e t enderly if I rem em bered our boyish gam es at sum s, and how we had gone t oget her t o have m e bound apprent ice, and, in 218

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effect , how he had ever been m y favourit e fancy and m y chosen friend? I f I had t aken t en t im es as m any glasses of wine as I had, I should have known t hat he never had st ood in t hat relat ion t owards m e, and should in m y heart of heart s have repudiat ed t he idea. Yet for all t hat , I rem em ber feeling convinced t hat I had been m uch m ist aken in him , and t hat he was a sensible pract ical good- heart ed prim e fellow. By degrees he fell t o reposing such great confidence in m e, as t o ask m y advice in reference t o his own affairs. He m ent ioned t hat t here was an opport unit y for a great am algam at ion and m onopoly of t he corn and seed t rade on t hose prem ises, if enlarged, such as had never occurred before in t hat , or any ot her neighbourhood. What alone was want ing t o t he realizat ion of a vast fort une, he considered t o be More Capit al. Those were t he t wo lit t le words, m ore capit al. Now it appeared t o him ( Pum blechook) t hat if t hat capit al were got int o t he business, t hrough a sleeping part ner, sir—which sleeping part ner would have not hing t o do but walk in, by self or deput y, whenever he pleased, and exam ine t he books—and walk in t wice a year and t ake his profit s away in his pocket , t o t he t une of fift y per cent .—it appeared t o him t hat t hat m ight be an opening for a young gent lem an of spirit com bined wit h propert y, which would be wort hy of his at t ent ion. But what did I t hink? He had great confidence in m y opinion, and what did I t hink? I gave it as m y opinion. “ Wait a bit ! ” The unit ed vast ness and dist inct ness of t his view so st ruck him , t hat he no longer asked if he m ight shake hands wit h m e, but said he really m ust —and did. 219

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We drank all t he wine, and Mr. Pum blechook pledged him self over and over again t o keep Joseph up t o t he m ark ( I don't know what m ark) , and t o render m e efficient and const ant service ( I don't know what service) . He also m ade known t o m e for t he first t im e in m y life, and cert ainly aft er having kept his secret wonderfully well, t hat he had always said of m e, “ That boy is no com m on boy, and m ark m e, his fort un’ will be no com m on fort un'.” He said wit h a t earful sm ile t hat it was a singular t hing t o t hink of now, and I said so t oo. Finally, I went out int o t he air, wit h a dim percept ion t hat t here was som et hing unwont ed in t he conduct of t he sunshine, and found t hat I had slum berously got t o t he t urnpike wit hout having t aken any account of t he road. There, I was roused by Mr. Pum blechook's hailing m e. He was a long way down t he sunny st reet , and was m aking expressive gest ures for m e t o st op. I st opped, and he cam e up breat hless. “ No, m y dear friend,” said he, when he had recovered wind for speech. “ Not if I can help it . This occasion shall not ent irely pass wit hout t hat affabilit y on your part .—May I , as an old friend and well- wisher? May I ?” We shook hands for t he hundredt h t im e at least , and he ordered a young cart er out of m y way wit h t he great est indignat ion. Then, he blessed m e and st ood waving his hand t o m e unt il I had passed t he crook in t he road; and t hen I t urned int o a field and had a long nap under a hedge before I pursued m y way hom e. I had scant luggage t o t ake wit h m e t o London, for lit t le of t he lit t le I possessed was adapt ed t o m y new st at ion. But , I 220

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began packing t hat sam e aft ernoon, and wildly packed up t hings t hat I knew I should want next m orning, in a fict ion t hat t here was not a m om ent t o be lost . So, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, passed; and on Friday m orning I went t o Mr. Pum blechook's, t o put on m y new clot hes and pay m y visit t o Miss Havisham . Mr. Pum blechook's own room was given up t o m e t o dress in, and was decorat ed wit h clean t owels expressly for t he event . My clot hes were rat her a disappoint m ent , of course. Probably every new and eagerly expect ed garm ent ever put on since clot hes cam e in, fell a t rifle short of t he wearer's expect at ion. But aft er I had had m y new suit on, som e half an hour, and had gone t hrough an im m ensit y of post uring wit h Mr. Pum blechook's very lim it ed dressing- glass, in t he fut ile endeavour t o see m y legs, it seem ed t o fit m e bet t er. I t being m arket m orning at a neighbouring t own som e t en m iles off, Mr. Pum blechook was not at hom e. I had not t old him exact ly when I m eant t o leave, and was not likely t o shake hands wit h him again before depart ing. This was all as it should be, and I went out in m y new array: fearfully asham ed of having t o pass t he shopm an, and suspicious aft er all t hat I was at a personal disadvant age, som et hing like Joe's in his Sunday suit . I went circuit ously t o Miss Havisham 's by all t he back ways, and rang at t he bell const rainedly, on account of t he st iff long fingers of m y gloves. Sarah Pocket cam e t o t he gat e, and posit ively reeled back when she saw m e so changed; her walnut - shell count enance likewise, t urned from brown t o green and yellow. 221

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“ You?” said she. “ You, good gracious! What do you want ?” “ I am going t o London, Miss Pocket ,” said I , “ and want t o say good- bye t o Miss Havisham .” I was not expect ed, for she left m e locked in t he yard, while she went t o ask if I were t o be adm it t ed. Aft er a very short delay, she ret urned and t ook m e up, st aring at m e all t he way. Miss Havisham was t aking exercise in t he room wit h t he long spread t able, leaning on her crut ch st ick. The room was light ed as of yore, and at t he sound of our ent rance, she st opped and t urned. She was t hen j ust abreast of t he rot t ed bride- cake. “ Don't go, Sarah,” she said. “ Well, Pip?” “ I st art for London, Miss Havisham , t o- m orrow,” I was exceedingly careful what I said, “ and I t hought you would kindly not m ind m y t aking leave of you.” “ This is a gay figure, Pip,” said she, m aking her crut ch st ick play round m e, as if she, t he fairy godm ot her who had changed m e, were best owing t he finishing gift . “ I have com e int o such good fort une since I saw you last , Miss Havisham ,” I m urm ured. “ And I am so grat eful for it , Miss Havisham ! ” “ Ay, ay! ” said she, looking at t he discom fit ed and envious Sarah, wit h delight . “ I have seen Mr. Jaggers. I have heard about it , Pip. So you go t o- m orrow?” “ Yes, Miss Havisham .” “ And you are adopt ed by a rich person?” “ Yes, Miss Havisham .” “ Not nam ed?” 222

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“ No, Miss Havisham .” “ And Mr. Jaggers is m ade your guardian?” “ Yes, Miss Havisham .” She quit e gloat ed on t hese quest ions and answers, so keen was her enj oym ent of Sarah Pocket 's j ealous dism ay. “ Well! ” she went on; “ you have a prom ising career before you. Be good—deserve it —and abide by Mr. Jaggers's inst ruct ions.” She looked at m e, and looked at Sarah, and Sarah's count enance wrung out of her wat chful face a cruel sm ile. “ Good- bye, Pip! —you will always keep t he nam e of Pip, you know.” “ Yes, Miss Havisham .” “ Good- bye, Pip! ” She st ret ched out her hand, and I went down on m y knee and put it t o m y lips. I had not considered how I should t ake leave of her; it cam e nat urally t o m e at t he m om ent , t o do t his. She looked at Sarah Pocket wit h t rium ph in her weird eyes, and so I left m y fairy godm ot her, wit h bot h her hands on her crut ch st ick, st anding in t he m idst of t he dim ly light ed room beside t he rot t en bridecake t hat was hidden in cobwebs. Sarah Pocket conduct ed m e down, as if I were a ghost who m ust be seen out . She could not get over m y appearance, and was in t he last degree confounded. I said “ Good- bye, Miss Pocket ; ” but she m erely st ared, and did not seem collect ed enough t o know t hat I had spoken. Clear of t he house, I m ade t he best of m y way back t o Pum blechook's, t ook off m y new clot hes, m ade t hem int o a bundle, and went back hom e in m y older dress, carrying it —t o speak t he 223

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t rut h—m uch m ore at m y ease t oo, t hough I had t he bundle t o carry. And now, t hose six days which were t o have run out so slowly, had run out fast and were gone, and t o- m orrow looked m e in t he face m ore st eadily t han I could look at it . As t he six evenings had dwindled away, t o five, t o four, t o t hree, t o t wo, I had becom e m ore and m ore appreciat ive of t he societ y of Joe and Biddy. On t his last evening, I dressed m y self out in m y new clot hes, for t heir delight , and sat in m y splendour unt il bedt im e. We had a hot supper on t he occasion, graced by t he inevit able roast fowl, and we had som e flip t o finish wit h. We were all very low, and none t he higher for pret ending t o be in spirit s. I was t o leave our village at five in t he m orning, carrying m y lit t le hand- port m ant eau, and I had t old Joe t hat I wished t o walk away all alone. I am afraid—sore afraid—t hat t his purpose originat ed in m y sense of t he cont rast t here would be bet ween m e and Joe, if we went t o t he coach t oget her. I had pret ended wit h m yself t hat t here was not hing of t his t aint in t he arrangem ent ; but when I went up t o m y lit t le room on t his last night , I felt com pelled t o adm it t hat it m ight be so, and had an im pulse upon m e t o go down again and ent reat Joe t o walk wit h m e in t he m orning. I did not . All night t here were coaches in m y broken sleep, going t o wrong places inst ead of t o London, and having in t he t races, now dogs, now cat s, now pigs, now m en—never horses. Fant ast ic failures of j ourneys occupied m e unt il t he day dawned and t he birds were singing. Then, I got up and part ly 224

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dressed, and sat at t he window t o t ake a last look out , and in t aking it fell asleep. Biddy was ast ir so early t o get m y breakfast , t hat , alt hough I did not sleep at t he window an hour, I sm elt t he sm oke of t he kit chen fire when I st art ed up wit h a t errible idea t hat it m ust be lat e in t he aft ernoon. But long aft er t hat , and long aft er I had heard t he clinking of t he t eacups and was quit e ready, I want ed t he resolut ion t o go down st airs. Aft er all, I rem ained up t here, repeat edly unlocking and unst rapping m y sm all port m ant eau and locking and st rapping it up again, unt il Biddy called t o m e t hat I was lat e. I t was a hurried breakfast wit h no t ast e in it . I got up from t he m eal, saying wit h a sort of briskness, as if it had only j ust occurred t o m e, “ Well! I suppose I m ust be off! ” and t hen I kissed m y sist er who was laughing and nodding and shaking in her usual chair, and kissed Biddy, and t hrew m y arm s around Joe's neck. Then I t ook up m y lit t le port m ant eau and walked out . The last I saw of t hem was, when I present ly heard a scuffle behind m e, and looking back, saw Joe t hrowing an old shoe aft er m e and Biddy t hrowing anot her old shoe. I st opped t hen, t o wave m y hat , and dear old Joe waved his st rong right arm above his head, crying huskily “ Hooroar! ” and Biddy put her apron t o her face. I walked away at a good pace, t hinking it was easier t o go t han I had supposed it would be, and reflect ing t hat it would never have done t o have had an old shoe t hrown aft er t he coach, in sight of all t he High- st reet . I whist led and m ade not hing of going. But t he village was very peaceful and quiet , and t he light m ist s were solem nly rising, as if t o show m e t he 225

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world, and I had been so innocent and lit t le t here, and all beyond was so unknown and great , t hat in a m om ent wit h a st rong heave and sob I broke int o t ears. I t was by t he fingerpost at t he end of t he village, and I laid m y hand upon it , and said, “ Good- bye O m y dear, dear friend! ” Heaven knows we need never be asham ed of our t ears, for t hey are rain upon t he blinding dust of eart h, overlying our hard heart s. I was bet t er aft er I had cried, t han before—m ore sorry, m ore aware of m y own ingrat it ude, m ore gent le. I f I had cried before, I should have had Joe wit h m e t hen. So subdued I was by t hose t ears, and by t heir breaking out again in t he course of t he quiet walk, t hat when I was on t he coach, and it was clear of t he t own, I deliberat ed wit h an aching heart whet her I would not get down when we changed horses and walk back, and have anot her evening at hom e, and a bet t er part ing. We changed, and I had not m ade up m y m ind, and st ill reflect ed for m y com fort t hat it would be quit e pract icable t o get down and walk back, when we changed again. And while I was occupied wit h t hese deliberat ions, I would fancy an exact resem blance t o Joe in som e m an com ing along t he road t owards us, and m y heart would beat high.—As if he could possibly be t here! We changed again, and yet again, and it was now t oo lat e and t oo far t o go back, and I went on. And t he m ist s had all solem nly risen now, and t he world lay spread before m e. This is t he end of t he first st age of Pip's Expect at ions.

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Chapt er 20 The j ourney from our t own t o t he m et ropolis, was a j ourney of about five hours. I t was a lit t le past m id- day when t he fourhorse st age- coach by which I was a passenger, got int o t he ravel of t raffic frayed out about t he Cross Keys, Wood- st reet , Cheapside, London. We Brit ons had at t hat t im e part icularly set t led t hat it was t reasonable t o doubt our having and our being t he best of everyt hing: ot herwise, while I was scared by t he im m ensit y of London, I t hink I m ight have had som e faint doubt s whet her it was not rat her ugly, crooked, narrow, and dirt y. Mr. Jaggers had duly sent m e his address; it was, Lit t le Brit ain, and he had writ t en aft er it on his card, “ j ust out of Sm it hfield, and close by t he coach- office.” Nevert heless, a hackney- coachm an, who seem ed t o have as m any capes t o his greasy great - coat as he was years old, packed m e up in his coach and hem m ed m e in wit h a folding and j ingling barrier of st eps, as if he were going t o t ake m e fift y m iles. His get t ing on his box, which I rem em ber t o have been decorat ed wit h an old weat her- st ained pea- green ham m erclot h m ot heat en int o rags, was quit e a work of t im e. I t was a wonderful equipage, wit h six great coronet s out side, and ragged t hings behind for I don't know how m any foot m en t o hold on by, and a harrow below t hem , t o prevent am at eur foot m en from yielding t o t he t em pt at ion. I had scarcely had t im e t o enj oy t he coach and t o t hink how like a st raw- yard it was, and yet how like a rag- shop, 227

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and t o wonder why t he horses’ nose- bags were kept inside, when I observed t he coachm an beginning t o get down, as if we were going t o st op present ly. And st op we present ly did, in a gloom y st reet , at cert ain offices wit h an open door, whereon was paint ed Mr. Jaggers. “ How m uch?” I asked t he coachm an. The coachm an answered, “ A shilling—unless you wish t o m ake it m ore.” I nat urally said I had no wish t o m ake it m ore. “ Then it m ust be a shilling,” observed t he coachm an. “ I don't want t o get int o t rouble. I know him ! ” He darkly closed an eye at Mr Jaggers's nam e, and shook his head. When he had got his shilling, and had in course of t im e com plet ed t he ascent t o his box, and had got away ( which appeared t o relieve his m ind) , I went int o t he front office wit h m y lit t le port m ant eau in m y hand and asked, Was Mr. Jaggers at hom e? “ He is not ,” ret urned t he clerk. “ He is in Court at present . Am I addressing Mr. Pip?” I signified t hat he was addressing Mr. Pip. “ Mr. Jaggers left word would you wait in his room . He couldn't say how long he m ight be, having a case on. But it st ands t o reason, his t im e being valuable, t hat he won't be longer t han he can help.” Wit h t hose words, t he clerk opened a door, and ushered m e int o an inner cham ber at t he back. Here, we found a gent lem an wit h one eye, in a velvet een suit and kneebreeches, who wiped his nose wit h his sleeve on being int errupt ed in t he perusal of t he newspaper. 228

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“ Go and wait out side, Mike,” said t he clerk. I began t o say t hat I hoped I was not int errupt ing—when t he clerk shoved t his gent lem an out wit h as lit t le cerem ony as I ever saw used, and t ossing his fur cap out aft er him , left m e alone. Mr. Jaggers's room was light ed by a skylight only, and was a m ost dism al place; t he skylight , eccent rically pit ched like a broken head, and t he dist ort ed adj oining houses looking as if t hey had t wist ed t hem selves t o peep down at m e t hrough it . There were not so m any papers about , as I should have expect ed t o see; and t here were som e odd obj ect s about , t hat I should not have expect ed t o see—such as an old rust y pist ol, a sword in a scabbard, several st range- looking boxes and packages, and t wo dreadful cast s on a shelf, of faces peculiarly swollen, and t wit chy about t he nose. Mr. Jaggers's own high- backed chair was of deadly black horse- hair, wit h rows of brass nails round it , like a coffin; and I fancied I could see how he leaned back in it , and bit his forefinger at t he client s. The room was but sm all, and t he client s seem ed t o have had a habit of backing up against t he wall: t he wall, especially opposit e t o Mr. Jaggers's chair, being greasy wit h shoulders. I recalled, t oo, t hat t he one- eyed gent lem an had shuffled fort h against t he wall when I was t he innocent cause of his being t urned out . I sat down in t he client al chair placed over against Mr. Jaggers's chair, and becam e fascinat ed by t he dism al at m osphere of t he place. I called t o m ind t hat t he clerk had t he sam e air of knowing som et hing t o everybody else's disadvant age, as his m ast er had. I wondered how m any ot her 229

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clerks t here were up- st airs, and whet her t hey all claim ed t o have t he sam e det rim ent al m ast ery of t heir fellow- creat ures. I wondered what was t he hist ory of all t he odd lit t er about t he room , and how it cam e t here. I wondered whet her t he t wo swollen faces were of Mr. Jaggers's fam ily, and, if he were so unfort unat e as t o have had a pair of such ill- looking relat ions, why he st uck t hem on t hat dust y perch for t he blacks and flies t o set t le on, inst ead of giving t hem a place at hom e. Of course I had no experience of a London sum m er day, and m y spirit s m ay have been oppressed by t he hot exhaust ed air, and by t he dust and grit t hat lay t hick on everyt hing. But I sat wondering and wait ing in Mr. Jaggers's close room , unt il I really could not bear t he t wo cast s on t he shelf above Mr. Jaggers's chair, and got up and went out . When I t old t he clerk t hat I would t ake a t urn in t he air while I wait ed, he advised m e t o go round t he corner and I should com e int o Sm it hfield. So, I cam e int o Sm it hfield; and t he sham eful place, being all asm ear wit h filt h and fat and blood and foam , seem ed t o st ick t o m e. So, I rubbed it off wit h all possible speed by t urning int o a st reet where I saw t he great black dom e of Saint Paul's bulging at m e from behind a grim st one building which a byst ander said was Newgat e Prison. Following t he wall of t he j ail, I found t he roadway covered wit h st raw t o deaden t he noise of passing vehicles; and from t his, and from t he quant it y of people st anding about , sm elling st rongly of spirit s and beer, I inferred t hat t he t rials were on. While I looked about m e here, an exceedingly dirt y and part ially drunk m inist er of j ust ice asked m e if I would like t o 230

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st ep in and hear a t rial or so: inform ing m e t hat he could give m e a front place for half- a- crown, whence I should com m and a full view of t he Lord Chief Just ice in his wig and robes— m ent ioning t hat awful personage like waxwork, and present ly offering him at t he reduced price of eight eenpence. As I declined t he proposal on t he plea of an appoint m ent , he was so good as t o t ake m e int o a yard and show m e where t he gallows was kept , and also where people were publicly whipped, and t hen he showed m e t he Debt ors’ Door, out of which culprit s cam e t o be hanged: height ening t he int erest of t hat dreadful port al by giving m e t o underst and t hat “ four on ‘em ” would com e out at t hat door t he day aft er t o- m orrow at eight in t he m orning, t o be killed in a row. This was horrible, and gave m e a sickening idea of London: t he m ore so as t he Lord Chief Just ice's propriet or wore ( from his hat down t o his boot s and up again t o his pocket - handkerchief inclusive) m ildewed clot hes, which had evident ly not belonged t o him originally, and which, I t ook it int o m y head, he had bought cheap of t he execut ioner. Under t hese circum st ances I t hought m yself well rid of him for a shilling. I dropped int o t he office t o ask if Mr. Jaggers had com e in yet , and I found he had not , and I st rolled out again. This t im e, I m ade t he t our of Lit t le Brit ain, and t urned int o Bart holom ew Close; and now I becam e aware t hat ot her people were wait ing about for Mr. Jaggers, as well as I . There were t wo m en of secret appearance lounging in Bart holom ew Close, and t hought fully fit t ing t heir feet int o t he cracks of t he pavem ent as t hey t alked t oget her, one of whom said t o t he ot her when t hey first passed m e, t hat “ Jaggers would do it if 231

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it was t o be done.” There was a knot of t hree m en and t wo wom en st anding at a corner, and one of t he wom en was crying on her dirt y shawl, and t he ot her com fort ed her by saying, as she pulled her own shawl over her shoulders, “ Jaggers is for him , ‘Melia, and what m ore could you have?” There was a red- eyed lit t le Jew who cam e int o t he Close while I was loit ering t here, in com pany wit h a second lit t le Jew whom he sent upon an errand; and while t he m essenger was gone, I rem arked t his Jew, who was of a highly excit able t em peram ent , perform ing a j ig of anxiet y under a lam p- post and accom panying him self, in a kind of frenzy, wit h t he words, “ Oh Jaggert h, Jaggert h, Jaggert h! all ot hert h it h CagMaggert h, give m e Jaggert h! ” These t est im onies t o t he popularit y of m y guardian m ade a deep im pression on m e, and I adm ired and wondered m ore t han ever. At lengt h, as I was looking out at t he iron gat e of Bart holom ew Close int o Lit t le Brit ain, I saw Mr. Jaggers com ing across t he road t owards m e. All t he ot hers who were wait ing, saw him at t he sam e t im e, and t here was quit e a rush at him . Mr. Jaggers, put t ing a hand on m y shoulder and walking m e on at his side wit hout saying anyt hing t o m e, addressed him self t o his followers. First , he t ook t he t wo secret m en. “ Now, I have not hing t o say t o you,” said Mr. Jaggers, t hrowing his finger at t hem . “ I want t o know no m ore t han I know. As t o t he result , it 's a t oss- up. I t old you from t he first it was a t oss- up. Have you paid Wem m ick?”

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“ We m ade t he m oney up t his m orning, sir,” said one of t he m en, subm issively, while t he ot her perused Mr. Jaggers's face. “ I don't ask you when you m ade it up, or where, or whet her you m ade it up at all. Has Wem m ick got it ?” “ Yes, sir,” said bot h t he m en t oget her. “ Very well; t hen you m ay go. Now, I won't have it ! ” said Mr Jaggers, waving his hand at t hem t o put t hem behind him . “ I f you say a word t o m e, I 'll t hrow up t he case.” “ We t hought , Mr. Jaggers—” one of t he m en began, pulling off his hat . “ That 's what I t old you not t o do,” said Mr. Jaggers. “ You t hought ! I t hink for you; t hat 's enough for you. I f I want you, I know where t o find you; I don't want you t o find m e. Now I won't have it . I won't hear a word.” The t wo m en looked at one anot her as Mr. Jaggers waved t hem behind again, and hum bly fell back and were heard no m ore. “ And now you! ” said Mr. Jaggers, suddenly st opping, and t urning on t he t wo wom en wit h t he shawls, from whom t he t hree m en had m eekly separat ed.—" Oh! Am elia, is it ?” “ Yes, Mr. Jaggers.” “ And do you rem em ber,” ret ort ed Mr. Jaggers, “ t hat but for m e you wouldn't be here and couldn't be here?” “ Oh yes, sir! ” exclaim ed bot h wom en t oget her. “ Lord bless you, sir, well we knows t hat ! ” “ Then why,” said Mr. Jaggers, “ do you com e here?” “ My Bill, sir! ” t he crying wom an pleaded. 233

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“ Now, I t ell you what ! ” said Mr. Jaggers. “ Once for all. I f you don't know t hat your Bill's in good hands, I know it . And if you com e here, bot hering about your Bill, I 'll m ake an exam ple of bot h your Bill and you, and let him slip t hrough m y fingers. Have you paid Wem m ick?” “ Oh yes, sir! Every farden.” “ Very well. Then you have done all you have got t o do. Say anot her word—one single word—and Wem m ick shall give you your m oney back.” This t errible t hreat caused t he t wo wom en t o fall off im m ediat ely. No one rem ained now but t he excit able Jew, who had already raised t he skirt s of Mr. Jaggers's coat t o his lips several t im es. “ I don't know t his m an! ” said Mr. Jaggers, in t he sam e devast at ing st rain: “ What does t his fellow want ?” “ Ma t hear Mit ht er Jaggert h. Hown brot her t o Habraham Lat harut h?” “ Who's he?” said Mr. Jaggers. “ Let go of m y coat .” The suit or, kissing t he hem of t he garm ent again before relinquishing it , replied, “ Habraham Lat harut h, on t hut hpit hion of plat e.” “ You're t oo lat e,” said Mr. Jaggers. “ I am over t he way.” “ Holy fat her, Mit ht er Jaggert h! ” cried m y excit able acquaint ance, t urning whit e, “ don't t hay you're again Habraham Lat harut h! ” “ I am ,” said Mr. Jaggers, “ and t here's an end of it . Get out of t he way.” “ Mit ht er Jaggert h! Half a m om ent ! My hown cut hen't h gone t o Mit ht er Wem m ick at t hit h pret hent m inut e, t o hoffer 234

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him hany t erm t h. Mit ht er Jaggert h! Half a quart er of a m om ent ! I f you'd have t he condet hent hun t o be bought off from t he t 'ot her t hide—at hany t huperior prit he! —m oney no obj ect ! —Mit ht er Jaggert h—Mit ht er—! ” My guardian t hrew his supplicant off wit h suprem e indifference, and left him dancing on t he pavem ent as if it were red- hot . Wit hout furt her int errupt ion, we reached t he front office, where we found t he clerk and t he m an in velvet een wit h t he fur cap. “ Here's Mike,” said t he clerk, get t ing down from his st ool, and approaching Mr. Jaggers confident ially. “ Oh! ” said Mr. Jaggers, t urning t o t he m an, who was pulling a lock of hair in t he m iddle of his forehead, like t he Bull in Cock Robin pulling at t he bell- rope; “ your m an com es on t his aft ernoon. Well?” “ Well, Mas'r Jaggers,” ret urned Mike, in t he voice of a sufferer from a const it ut ional cold; “ art er a deal o’ t rouble, I 've found one, sir, as m ight do.” “ What is he prepared t o swear?” “ Well, Mas'r Jaggers,” said Mike, wiping his nose on his fur cap t his t im e; “ in a general way, anyt hink.” Mr. Jaggers suddenly becam e m ost irat e. “ Now, I warned you before,” said he, t hrowing his forefinger at t he t errified client , “ t hat if you ever presum ed t o t alk in t hat way here, I 'd m ake an exam ple of you. You infernal scoundrel, how dare you t ell ME t hat ?” The client looked scared, but bewildered t oo, as if he were unconscious what he had done. 235

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“ Spooney! ” said t he clerk, in a low voice, giving him a st ir wit h his elbow. “ Soft Head! Need you say it face t o face?” “ Now, I ask you, you blundering booby,” said m y guardian, very st ernly, “ once m ore and for t he last t im e, what t he m an you have brought here is prepared t o swear?” Mike looked hard at m y guardian, as if he were t rying t o learn a lesson from his face, and slowly replied, “ Ayt her t o charact er, or t o having been in his com pany and never left him all t he night in quest ion.” “ Now, be careful. I n what st at ion of life is t his m an?” Mike looked at his cap, and looked at t he floor, and looked at t he ceiling, and looked at t he clerk, and even looked at m e, before beginning t o reply in a nervous m anner, “ We've dressed him up like—” when m y guardian blust ered out : “ What ? You WI LL, will you?” ( " Spooney! ” added t he clerk again, wit h anot her st ir.) Aft er som e helpless cast ing about , Mike bright ened and began again: “ He is dressed like a ‘spect able piem an. A sort of a past rycook.” “ I s he here?” asked m y guardian. “ I left him ,” said Mike, “ a set t in on som e doorst eps round t he corner.” “ Take him past t hat window, and let m e see him .” The window indicat ed, was t he office window. We all t hree went t o it , behind t he wire blind, and present ly saw t he client go by in an accident al m anner, wit h a m urderous- looking t all individual, in a short suit of whit e linen and a paper cap. This guileless confect ioner was not by any m eans sober, and had a 236

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black eye in t he green st age of recovery, which was paint ed over. “ Tell him t o t ake his wit ness away direct ly,” said m y guardian t o t he clerk, in ext rem e disgust , “ and ask him what he m eans by bringing such a fellow as t hat .” My guardian t hen t ook m e int o his own room , and while he lunched, st anding, from a sandwich- box and a pocket flask of sherry ( he seem ed t o bully his very sandwich as he at e it ) , inform ed m e what arrangem ent s he had m ade for m e. I was t o go t o “ Barnard's I nn,” t o young Mr. Pocket 's room s, where a bed had been sent in for m y accom m odat ion; I was t o rem ain wit h young Mr. Pocket unt il Monday; on Monday I was t o go wit h him t o his fat her's house on a visit , t hat I m ight t ry how I liked it . Also, I was t old what m y allowance was t o be— it was a very liberal one—and had handed t o m e from one of m y guardian's drawers, t he cards of cert ain t radesm en wit h whom I was t o deal for all kinds of clot hes, and such ot her t hings as I could in reason want . “ You will find your credit good, Mr. Pip,” said m y guardian, whose flask of sherry sm elt like a whole cask- full, as he hast ily refreshed him self, “ but I shall by t his m eans be able t o check your bills, and t o pull you up if I find you out running t he const able. Of course you'll go wrong som ehow, but t hat 's no fault of m ine.” Aft er I had pondered a lit t le over t his encouraging sent im ent , I asked Mr. Jaggers if I could send for a coach? He said it was not wort h while, I was so near m y dest inat ion; Wem m ick should walk round wit h m e, if I pleased. I t hen found t hat Wem m ick was t he clerk in t he next room . Anot her clerk was rung down from up- st airs t o t ake his 237

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place while he was out , and I accom panied him int o t he st reet , aft er shaking hands wit h m y guardian. We found a new set of people lingering out side, but Wem m ick m ade a way am ong t hem by saying coolly yet decisively, “ I t ell you it 's no use; he won't have a word t o say t o one of you; ” and we soon got clear of t hem , and went on side by side.

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Chapt er 21 Cast ing m y eyes on Mr. Wem m ick as we went along, t o see what he was like in t he light of day, I found him t o be a dry m an, rat her short in st at ure, wit h a square wooden face, whose expression seem ed t o have been im perfect ly chipped out wit h a dull- edged chisel. There were som e m arks in it t hat m ight have been dim ples, if t he m at erial had been soft er and t he inst rum ent finer, but which, as it was, were only dint s. The chisel had m ade t hree or four of t hese at t em pt s at em bellishm ent over his nose, but had given t hem up wit hout an effort t o sm oot h t hem off. I j udged him t o be a bachelor from t he frayed condit ion of his linen, and he appeared t o have sust ained a good m any bereavem ent s; for, he wore at least four m ourning rings, besides a brooch represent ing a lady and a weeping willow at a t om b wit h an urn on it . I not iced, t oo, t hat several rings and seals hung at his wat ch chain, as if he were quit e laden wit h rem em brances of depart ed friends. He had glit t ering eyes—sm all, keen, and black—and t hin wide m ot t led lips. He had had t hem , t o t he best of m y belief, from fort y t o fift y years. “ So you were never in London before?” said Mr. Wem m ick t o m e. “ No,” said I . “ I was new here once,” said Mr. Wem m ick. “ Rum t o t hink of now! ” “ You are well acquaint ed wit h it now?” “ Why, yes,” said Mr. Wem m ick. “ I know t he m oves of it .” 239

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“ I s it a very wicked place?” I asked, m ore for t he sake of saying som et hing t han for inform at ion. “ You m ay get cheat ed, robbed, and m urdered, in London. But t here are plent y of people anywhere, who'll do t hat for you.” “ I f t here is bad blood bet ween you and t hem ,” said I , t o soft en it off a lit t le. “ Oh! I don't know about bad blood,” ret urned Mr. Wem m ick; “ t here's not m uch bad blood about . They'll do it , if t here's anyt hing t o be got by it .” “ That m akes it worse.” “ You t hink so?” ret urned Mr. Wem m ick. “ Much about t he sam e, I should say.” He wore his hat on t he back of his head, and looked st raight before him : walking in a self- cont ained way as if t here were not hing in t he st reet s t o claim his at t ent ion. His m out h was such a post office of a m out h t hat he had a m echanical appearance of sm iling. We had got t o t he t op of Holborn Hill before I knew t hat it was m erely a m echanical appearance, and t hat he was not sm iling at all. “ Do you know where Mr. Mat t hew Pocket lives?” I asked Mr. Wem m ick. “ Yes,” said he, nodding in t he direct ion. “ At Ham m ersm it h, west of London.” “ I s t hat far?” “ Well! Say five m iles.” “ Do you know him ?”

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“ Why, you're a regular cross- exam iner! ” said Mr. Wem m ick, looking at m e wit h an approving air. “ Yes, I know him . I know him ! ” There was an air of t olerat ion or depreciat ion about his ut t erance of t hese words, t hat rat her depressed m e; and I was st ill looking sideways at his block of a face in search of any encouraging not e t o t he t ext , when he said here we were at Barnard's I nn. My depression was not alleviat ed by t he announcem ent , for, I had supposed t hat est ablishm ent t o be an hot el kept by Mr. Barnard, t o which t he Blue Boar in our t own was a m ere public- house. Whereas I now found Barnard t o be a disem bodied spirit , or a fict ion, and his inn t he dingiest collect ion of shabby buildings ever squeezed t oget her in a rank corner as a club for Tom - cat s. We ent ered t his haven t hrough a wicket - gat e, and were disgorged by an int roduct ory passage int o a m elancholy lit t le square t hat looked t o m e like a flat burying- ground. I t hought it had t he m ost dism al t rees in it , and t he m ost dism al sparrows, and t he m ost dism al cat s, and t he m ost dism al houses ( in num ber half a dozen or so) , t hat I had ever seen. I t hought t he windows of t he set s of cham bers int o which t hose houses were divided, were in every st age of dilapidat ed blind and curt ain, crippled flower- pot , cracked glass, dust y decay, and m iserable m akeshift ; while To Let To Let To Let , glared at m e from em pt y room s, as if no new wret ches ever cam e t here, and t he vengeance of t he soul of Barnard were being slowly appeased by t he gradual suicide of t he present occupant s and t heir unholy int erm ent under t he gravel. A frouzy m ourning of soot and sm oke at t ired t his forlorn 241

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creat ion of Barnard, and it had st rewn ashes on it s head, and was undergoing penance and hum iliat ion as a m ere dust - hole. Thus far m y sense of sight ; while dry rot and wet rot and all t he silent rot s t hat rot in neglect ed roof and cellar—rot of rat and m ouse and bug and coaching- st ables near at hand besides—addressed t hem selves faint ly t o m y sense of sm ell, and m oaned, “ Try Barnard's Mixt ure.” So im perfect was t his realizat ion of t he first of m y great expect at ions, t hat I looked in dism ay at Mr. Wem m ick. “ Ah! ” said he, m ist aking m e; “ t he ret irem ent rem inds you of t he count ry. So it does m e.” He led m e int o a corner and conduct ed m e up a flight of st airs—which appeared t o m e t o be slowly collapsing int o sawdust , so t hat one of t hose days t he upper lodgers would look out at t heir doors and find t hem selves wit hout t he m eans of com ing down—t o a set of cham bers on t he t op floor. MR. POCKET, JUN., was paint ed on t he door, and t here was a label on t he let t er- box, “ Ret urn short ly.” “ He hardly t hought you'd com e so soon,” Mr. Wem m ick explained. “ You don't want m e any m ore?” “ No, t hank you,” said I . “ As I keep t he cash,” Mr. Wem m ick observed, “ we shall m ost likely m eet pret t y oft en. Good day.” “ Good day.” I put out m y hand, and Mr. Wem m ick at first looked at it as if he t hought I want ed som et hing. Then he looked at m e, and said, correct ing him self, “ To be sure! Yes. You're in t he habit of shaking hands?” 242

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I was rat her confused, t hinking it m ust be out of t he London fashion, but said yes. “ I have got so out of it ! ” said Mr. Wem m ick—" except at last . Very glad, I 'm sure, t o m ake your acquaint ance. Good day! ” When we had shaken hands and he was gone, I opened t he st aircase window and had nearly beheaded m yself, for, t he lines had rot t ed away, and it cam e down like t he guillot ine. Happily it was so quick t hat I had not put m y head out . Aft er t his escape, I was cont ent t o t ake a foggy view of t he I nn t hrough t he window's encrust ing dirt , and t o st and dolefully looking out , saying t o m yself t hat London was decidedly overrat ed. Mr. Pocket , Junior's, idea of Short ly was not m ine, for I had nearly m addened m yself wit h looking out for half an hour, and had writ t en m y nam e wit h m y finger several t im es in t he dirt of every pane in t he window, before I heard foot st eps on t he st airs. Gradually t here arose before m e t he hat , head, neckclot h, waist coat , t rousers, boot s, of a m em ber of societ y of about m y own st anding. He had a paper- bag under each arm and a pot t le of st rawberries in one hand, and was out of breat h. “ Mr. Pip?” said he. “ Mr. Pocket ?” said I . “ Dear m e! ” he exclaim ed. “ I am ext rem ely sorry; but I knew t here was a coach from your part of t he count ry at m idday, and I t hought you would com e by t hat one. The fact is, I have been out on your account —not t hat t hat is any excuse—for I t hought , com ing from t he count ry, you m ight 243

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like a lit t le fruit aft er dinner, and I went t o Covent Garden Market t o get it good.” For a reason t hat I had, I felt as if m y eyes would st art out of m y head. I acknowledged his at t ent ion incoherent ly, and began t o t hink t his was a dream . “ Dear m e! ” said Mr. Pocket , Junior. “ This door st icks so! ” As he was fast m aking j am of his fruit by wrest ling wit h t he door while t he paper- bags were under his arm s, I begged him t o allow m e t o hold t hem . He relinquished t hem wit h an agreeable sm ile, and com bat ed wit h t he door as if it were a wild beast . I t yielded so suddenly at last , t hat he st aggered back upon m e, and I st aggered back upon t he opposit e door, and we bot h laughed. But st ill I felt as if m y eyes m ust st art out of m y head, and as if t his m ust be a dream . “ Pray com e in,” said Mr. Pocket , Junior. “ Allow m e t o lead t he way. I am rat her bare here, but I hope you'll be able t o m ake out t olerably well t ill Monday. My fat her t hought you would get on m ore agreeably t hrough t o- m orrow wit h m e t han wit h him , and m ight like t o t ake a walk about London. I am sure I shall be very happy t o show London t o you. As t o our t able, you won't find t hat bad, I hope, for it will be supplied from our coffee- house here, and ( it is only right I should add) at your expense, such being Mr. Jaggers's direct ions. As t o our lodging, it 's not by any m eans splendid, because I have m y own bread t o earn, and m y fat her hasn't anyt hing t o give m e, and I shouldn't be willing t o t ake it , if he had. This is our sit t ing- room —j ust such chairs and t ables and carpet and so fort h, you see, as t hey could spare from hom e. You m ust n't give m e credit for t he t ableclot h and spoons and 244

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cast ors, because t hey com e for you from t he coffee- house. This is m y lit t le bedroom ; rat her m ust y, but Barnard's is m ust y. This is your bed- room ; t he furnit ure's hired for t he occasion, but I t rust it will answer t he purpose; if you should want anyt hing, I 'll go and fet ch it . The cham bers are ret ired, and we shall be alone t oget her, but we shan't fight , I dare say. But , dear m e, I beg your pardon, you're holding t he fruit all t his t im e. Pray let m e t ake t hese bags from you. I am quit e asham ed.” As I st ood opposit e t o Mr. Pocket , Junior, delivering him t he bags, One, Two, I saw t he st art ing appearance com e int o his own eyes t hat I knew t o be in m ine, and he said, falling back: “ Lord bless m e, you're t he prowling boy! ” “ And you,” said I , “ are t he pale young gent lem an! ”

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Chapt er 22 The pale young gent lem an and I st ood cont em plat ing one anot her in Barnard's I nn, unt il we bot h burst out laughing. “ The idea of it s being you! ” said he. “ The idea of it s being you! ” said I . And t hen we cont em plat ed one anot her afresh, and laughed again. “ Well! ” said t he pale young gent lem an, reaching out his hand goodhum ouredly, “ it 's all over now, I hope, and it will be m agnanim ous in you if you'll forgive m e for having knocked you about so.” I derived from t his speech t hat Mr. Herbert Pocket ( for Herbert was t he pale young gent lem an's nam e) st ill rat her confounded his int ent ion wit h his execut ion. But I m ade a m odest reply, and we shook hands warm ly. “ You hadn't com e int o your good fort une at t hat t im e?” said Herbert Pocket . “ No,” said I . “ No,” he acquiesced: “ I heard it had happened very lat ely. I was rat her on t he look- out for good- fort une t hen.” “ I ndeed?” “ Yes. Miss Havisham had sent for m e, t o see if she could t ake a fancy t o m e. But she couldn't —at all event s, she didn't .” I t hought it polit e t o rem ark t hat I was surprised t o hear t hat . “ Bad t ast e,” said Herbert , laughing, “ but a fact . Yes, she had sent for m e on a t rial visit , and if I had com e out of it successfully, I suppose I should have been provided for; 246

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perhaps I should have been what - you- m ay- called it t o Est ella.” “ What 's t hat ?” I asked, wit h sudden gravit y. He was arranging his fruit in plat es while we t alked, which divided his at t ent ion, and was t he cause of his having m ade t his lapse of a word. “ Affianced,” he explained, st ill busy wit h t he fruit . “ Bet rot hed. Engaged. What 's- his- nam ed. Any word of t hat sort .” “ How did you bear your disappoint m ent ?” I asked. “ Pooh! ” said he, “ I didn't care m uch for it . She's a Tart ar.” “ Miss Havisham ?” “ I don't say no t o t hat , but I m eant Est ella. That girl's hard and haught y and capricious t o t he last degree, and has been brought up by Miss Havisham t o wreak revenge on all t he m ale sex.” “ What relat ion is she t o Miss Havisham ?” “ None,” said he. “ Only adopt ed.” “ Why should she wreak revenge on all t he m ale sex? What revenge?” “ Lord, Mr. Pip! ” said he. “ Don't you know?” “ No,” said I . “ Dear m e! I t 's quit e a st ory, and shall be saved t ill dinnert im e. And now let m e t ake t he libert y of asking you a quest ion. How did you com e t here, t hat day?” I t old him , and he was at t ent ive unt il I had finished, and t hen burst out laughing again, and asked m e if I was sore aft erwards? I didn't ask him if he was, for m y convict ion on t hat point was perfect ly est ablished. “ Mr. Jaggers is your guardian, I underst and?” he went on. 247

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“ Yes.” “ You know he is Miss Havisham 's m an of business and solicit or, and has her confidence when nobody else has?” This was bringing m e ( I felt ) t owards dangerous ground. I answered wit h a const raint I m ade no at t em pt t o disguise, t hat I had seen Mr. Jaggers in Miss Havisham 's house on t he very day of our com bat , but never at any ot her t im e, and t hat I believed he had no recollect ion of having ever seen m e t here. “ He was so obliging as t o suggest m y fat her for your t ut or, and he called on m y fat her t o propose it . Of course he knew about m y fat her from his connexion wit h Miss Havisham . My fat her is Miss Havisham 's cousin; not t hat t hat im plies fam iliar int ercourse bet ween t hem , for he is a bad court ier and will not propit iat e her.” Herbert Pocket had a frank and easy way wit h him t hat was very t aking. I had never seen any one t hen, and I have never seen any one since, who m ore st rongly expressed t o m e, in every look and t one, a nat ural incapacit y t o do anyt hing secret and m ean. There was som et hing wonderfully hopeful about his general air, and som et hing t hat at t he sam e t im e whispered t o m e he would never be very successful or rich. I don't know how t his was. I becam e im bued wit h t he not ion on t hat first occasion before we sat down t o dinner, but I cannot define by what m eans. He was st ill a pale young gent lem an, and had a cert ain conquered languor about him in t he m idst of his spirit s and briskness, t hat did not seem indicat ive of nat ural st rengt h. He had not a handsom e face, but it was bet t er t han handsom e: 248

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being ext rem ely am iable and cheerful. His figure was a lit t le ungainly, as in t he days when m y knuckles had t aken such libert ies wit h it , but it looked as if it would always be light and young. Whet her Mr. Trabb's local work would have sat m ore gracefully on him t han on m e, m ay be a quest ion; but I am conscious t hat he carried off his rat her old clot hes, m uch bet t er t han I carried off m y new suit . As he was so com m unicat ive, I felt t hat reserve on m y part would be a bad ret urn unsuit ed t o our years. I t herefore t old him m y sm all st ory, and laid st ress on m y being forbidden t o inquire who m y benefact or was. I furt her m ent ioned t hat as I had been brought up a blacksm it h in a count ry place, and knew very lit t le of t he ways of polit eness, I would t ake it as a great kindness in him if he would give m e a hint whenever he saw m e at a loss or going wrong. “ Wit h pleasure,” said he, “ t hough I vent ure t o prophesy t hat you'll want very few hint s. I dare say we shall be oft en t oget her, and I should like t o banish any needless rest raint bet ween us. Will you do m e t he favour t o begin at once t o call m e by m y Christ ian nam e, Herbert ?” I t hanked him , and said I would. I inform ed him in exchange t hat m y Christ ian nam e was Philip. “ I don't t ake t o Philip,” said he, sm iling, “ for it sounds like a m oral boy out of t he spelling- book, who was so lazy t hat he fell int o a pond, or so fat t hat he couldn't see out of his eyes, or so avaricious t hat he locked up his cake t ill t he m ice at e it , or so det erm ined t o go a bird's- nest ing t hat he got him self eat en by bears who lived handy in t he neighbourhood. I t ell 249

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you what I should like. We are so harm onious, and you have been a blacksm it h—would you m ind it ?” “ I shouldn't m ind anyt hing t hat you propose,” I answered, “ but I don't underst and you.” “ Would you m ind Handel for a fam iliar nam e? There's a charm ing piece of m usic by Handel, called t he Harm onious Blacksm it h.” “ I should like it very m uch.” “ Then, m y dear Handel,” said he, t urning round as t he door opened, “ here is t he dinner, and I m ust beg of you t o t ake t he t op of t he t able, because t he dinner is of your providing.” This I would not hear of, so he t ook t he t op, and I faced him . I t was a nice lit t le dinner—seem ed t o m e t hen, a very Lord Mayor's Feast —and it acquired addit ional relish from being eat en under t hose independent circum st ances, wit h no old people by, and wit h London all around us. This again was height ened by a cert ain gipsy charact er t hat set t he banquet off; for, while t he t able was, as Mr. Pum blechook m ight have said, t he lap of luxury—being ent irely furnished fort h from t he coffee- house—t he circum j acent region of sit t ing- room was of a com parat ively past ureless and shift y charact er: im posing on t he wait er t he wandering habit s of put t ing t he covers on t he floor ( where he fell over t hem ) , t he m elt ed but t er in t he arm chair, t he bread on t he bookshelves, t he cheese in t he coalscut t le, and t he boiled fowl int o m y bed in t he next room —where I found m uch of it s parsley and but t er in a st at e of congelat ion when I ret ired for t he night . All t his m ade t he 250

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feast delight ful, and when t he wait er was not t here t o wat ch m e, m y pleasure was wit hout alloy. We had m ade som e progress in t he dinner, when I rem inded Herbert of his prom ise t o t ell m e about Miss Havisham . “ True,” he replied. “ I 'll redeem it at once. Let m e int roduce t he t opic, Handel, by m ent ioning t hat in London it is not t he cust om t o put t he knife in t he m out h—for fear of accident s— and t hat while t he fork is reserved for t hat use, it is not put furt her in t han necessary. I t is scarcely wort h m ent ioning, only it 's as well t o do as ot her people do. Also, t he spoon is not generally used over- hand, but under. This has t wo advant ages. You get at your m out h bet t er ( which aft er all is t he obj ect ) , and you save a good deal of t he at t it ude of opening oyst ers, on t he part of t he right elbow.” He offered t hese friendly suggest ions in such a lively way, t hat we bot h laughed and I scarcely blushed. “ Now,” he pursued, “ concerning Miss Havisham . Miss Havisham , you m ust know, was a spoilt child. Her m ot her died when she was a baby, and her fat her denied her not hing. Her fat her was a count ry gent lem an down in your part of t he world, and was a brewer. I don't know why it should be a crack t hing t o be a brewer; but it is indisput able t hat while you cannot possibly be gent eel and bake, you m ay be as gent eel as never was and brew. You see it every day.” “ Yet a gent lem an m ay not keep a public- house; m ay he?” said I .

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“ Not on any account ,” ret urned Herbert ; “ but a publichouse m ay keep a gent lem an. Well! Mr. Havisham was very rich and very proud. So was his daught er.” “ Miss Havisham was an only child?” I hazarded. “ St op a m om ent , I am com ing t o t hat . No, she was not an only child; she had a half- brot her. Her fat her privat ely m arried again—his cook, I rat her t hink.” “ I t hought he was proud,” said I . “ My good Handel, so he was. He m arried his second wife privat ely, because he was proud, and in course of t im e she died. When she was dead, I apprehend he first t old his daught er what he had done, and t hen t he son becam e a part of t he fam ily, residing in t he house you are acquaint ed wit h. As t he son grew a young m an, he t urned out riot ous, ext ravagant , undut iful—alt oget her bad. At last his fat her disinherit ed him ; but he soft ened when he was dying, and left him well off, t hough not nearly so well off as Miss Havisham .—Take anot her glass of wine, and excuse m y m ent ioning t hat societ y as a body does not expect one t o be so st rict ly conscient ious in em pt ying one's glass, as t o t urn it bot t om upwards wit h t he rim on one's nose.” I had been doing t his, in an excess of at t ent ion t o his recit al. I t hanked him , and apologized. He said, “ Not at all,” and resum ed. “ Miss Havisham was now an heiress, and you m ay suppose was looked aft er as a great m at ch. Her half- brot her had now am ple m eans again, but what wit h debt s and what wit h new m adness wast ed t hem m ost fearfully again. There were st ronger differences bet ween him and her, t han t here had 252

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been bet ween him and his fat her, and it is suspect ed t hat he cherished a deep and m ort al grudge against her, as having influenced t he fat her's anger. Now, I com e t o t he cruel part of t he st ory—m erely breaking off, m y dear Handel, t o rem ark t hat a dinner- napkin will not go int o a t um bler.” Why I was t rying t o pack m ine int o m y t um bler, I am wholly unable t o say. I only know t hat I found m yself, wit h a perseverance wort hy of a m uch bet t er cause, m aking t he m ost st renuous exert ions t o com press it wit hin t hose lim it s. Again I t hanked him and apologized, and again he said in t he cheerfullest m anner, “ Not at all, I am sure! ” and resum ed. “ There appeared upon t he scene—say at t he races, or t he public balls, or anywhere else you like—a cert ain m an, who m ade love t o Miss Havisham . I never saw him , for t his happened five- and- t went y years ago ( before you and I were, Handel) , but I have heard m y fat her m ent ion t hat he was a showy- m an, and t he kind of m an for t he purpose. But t hat he was not t o be, wit hout ignorance or prej udice, m ist aken for a gent lem an, m y fat her m ost st rongly asseverat es; because it is a principle of his t hat no m an who was not a t rue gent lem an at heart , ever was, since t he world began, a t rue gent lem an in m anner. He says, no varnish can hide t he grain of t he wood; and t hat t he m ore varnish you put on, t he m ore t he grain will express it self. Well! This m an pursued Miss Havisham closely, and professed t o be devot ed t o her. I believe she had not shown m uch suscept ibilit y up t o t hat t im e; but all t he suscept ibilit y she possessed, cert ainly cam e out t hen, and she passionat ely loved him . There is no doubt t hat she perfect ly idolized him . He pract ised on her affect ion 253

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in t hat syst em at ic way, t hat he got great sum s of m oney from her, and he induced her t o buy her brot her out of a share in t he brewery ( which had been weakly left him by his fat her) at an im m ense price, on t he plea t hat when he was her husband he m ust hold and m anage it all. Your guardian was not at t hat t im e in Miss Havisham 's councils, and she was t oo haught y and t oo m uch in love, t o be advised by any one. Her relat ions were poor and schem ing, wit h t he except ion of m y fat her; he was poor enough, but not t im e- serving or j ealous. The only independent one am ong t hem , he warned her t hat she was doing t oo m uch for t his m an, and was placing herself t oo unreservedly in his power. She t ook t he first opport unit y of angrily ordering m y fat her out of t he house, in his presence, and m y fat her has never seen her since.” I t hought of her having said, “ Mat t hew will com e and see m e at last when I am laid dead upon t hat t able; ” and I asked Herbert whet her his fat her was so invet erat e against her? “ I t 's not t hat ,” said he, “ but she charged him , in t he presence of her int ended husband, wit h being disappoint ed in t he hope of fawning upon her for his own advancem ent , and, if he were t o go t o her now, it would look t rue—even t o him — and even t o her. To ret urn t o t he m an and m ake an end of him . The m arriage day was fixed, t he wedding dresses were bought , t he wedding t our was planned out , t he wedding guest s were invit ed. The day cam e, but not t he bridegroom . He wrot e her a let t er—” “ Which she received,” I st ruck in, “ when she was dressing for her m arriage? At t went y m inut es t o nine?” 254

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“ At t he hour and m inut e,” said Herbert , nodding, “ at which she aft erwards st opped all t he clocks. What was in it , furt her t han t hat it m ost heart lessly broke t he m arriage off, I can't t ell you, because I don't know. When she recovered from a bad illness t hat she had, she laid t he whole place wast e, as you have seen it , and she has never since looked upon t he light of day.” “ I s t hat all t he st ory?” I asked, aft er considering it . “ All I know of it ; and indeed I only know so m uch, t hrough piecing it out for m yself; for m y fat her always avoids it , and, even when Miss Havisham invit ed m e t o go t here, t old m e no m ore of it t han it was absolut ely requisit e I should underst and. But I have forgot t en one t hing. I t has been supposed t hat t he m an t o whom she gave her m isplaced confidence, act ed t hroughout in concert wit h her half- brot her; t hat it was a conspiracy bet ween t hem ; and t hat t hey shared t he profit s.” “ I wonder he didn't m arry her and get all t he propert y,” said I . “ He m ay have been m arried already, and her cruel m ort ificat ion m ay have been a part of her half- brot her's schem e,” said Herbert . “ Mind! I don't know t hat .” “ What becam e of t he t wo m en?” I asked, aft er again considering t he subj ect . “ They fell int o deeper sham e and degradat ion—if t here can be deeper—and ruin.” “ Are t hey alive now?” “ I don't know.” 255

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“ You said j ust now, t hat Est ella was not relat ed t o Miss Havisham , but adopt ed. When adopt ed?” Herbert shrugged his shoulders. “ There has always been an Est ella, since I have heard of a Miss Havisham . I know no m ore. And now, Handel,” said he, finally t hrowing off t he st ory as it were, “ t here is a perfect ly open underst anding bet ween us. All t hat I know about Miss Havisham , you know.” “ And all t hat I know,” I ret ort ed, “ you know.” “ I fully believe it . So t here can be no com pet it ion or perplexit y bet ween you and m e. And as t o t he condit ion on which you hold your advancem ent in life—nam ely, t hat you are not t o inquire or discuss t o whom you owe it —you m ay be very sure t hat it will never be encroached upon, or even approached, by m e, or by any one belonging t o m e.” I n t rut h, he said t his wit h so m uch delicacy, t hat I felt t he subj ect done wit h, even t hough I should be under his fat her's roof for years and years t o com e. Yet he said it wit h so m uch m eaning, t oo, t hat I felt he as perfect ly underst ood Miss Havisham t o be m y benefact ress, as I underst ood t he fact m yself. I t had not occurred t o m e before, t hat he had led up t o t he t hem e for t he purpose of clearing it out of our way; but we were so m uch t he light er and easier for having broached it , t hat I now perceived t his t o be t he case. We were very gay and sociable, and I asked him , in t he course of conversat ion, what he was? He replied, “ A capit alist —an I nsurer of Ships.” I suppose he saw m e glancing about t he room in search of som e t okens of Shipping, or capit al, for he added, “ I n t he Cit y.” 256

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I had grand ideas of t he wealt h and im port ance of I nsurers of Ships in t he Cit y, and I began t o t hink wit h awe, of having laid a young I nsurer on his back, blackened his ent erprising eye, and cut his responsible head open. But , again, t here cam e upon m e, for m y relief, t hat odd im pression t hat Herbert Pocket would never be very successful or rich. “ I shall not rest sat isfied wit h m erely em ploying m y capit al in insuring ships. I shall buy up som e good Life Assurance shares, and cut int o t he Direct ion. I shall also do a lit t le in t he m ining way. None of t hese t hings will int erfere wit h m y chart ering a few t housand t ons on m y own account . I t hink I shall t rade,” said he, leaning back in his chair, “ t o t he East I ndies, for silks, shawls, spices, dyes, drugs, and precious woods. I t 's an int erest ing t rade.” “ And t he profit s are large?” said I . “ Trem endous! ” said he. I wavered again, and began t o t hink here were great er expect at ions t han m y own. “ I t hink I shall t rade, also,” said he, put t ing his t hum bs in his waist coat pocket s, “ t o t he West I ndies, for sugar, t obacco, and rum . Also t o Ceylon, specially for elephant s’ t usks.” “ You will want a good m any ships,” said I . “ A perfect fleet ,” said he. Quit e overpowered by t he m agnificence of t hese t ransact ions, I asked him where t he ships he insured m ost ly t raded t o at present ? “ I haven't begun insuring yet ,” he replied. “ I am looking about m e.” 257

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Som ehow, t hat pursuit seem ed m ore in keeping wit h Barnard's I nn. I said ( in a t one of convict ion) , “ Ah- h! ” “ Yes. I am in a count ing- house, and looking about m e.” “ I s a count ing- house profit able?” I asked. “ To—do you m ean t o t he young fellow who's in it ?” he asked, in reply. “ Yes; t o you.” “ Why, n- no: not t o m e.” He said t his wit h t he air of one carefully reckoning up and st riking a balance. “ Not direct ly profit able. That is, it doesn't pay m e anyt hing, and I have t o—keep m yself.” This cert ainly had not a profit able appearance, and I shook m y head as if I would im ply t hat it would be difficult t o lay by m uch accum ulat ive capit al from such a source of incom e. “ But t he t hing is,” said Herbert Pocket , “ t hat you look about you. That 's t he grand t hing. You are in a count inghouse, you know, and you look about you.” I t st ruck m e as a singular im plicat ion t hat you couldn't be out of a count ing- house, you know, and look about you; but I silent ly deferred t o his experience. “ Then t he t im e com es,” said Herbert , “ when you see your opening. And you go in, and you swoop upon it and you m ake your capit al, and t hen t here you are! When you have once m ade your capit al, you have not hing t o do but em ploy it .” This was very like his way of conduct ing t hat encount er in t he garden; very like. His m anner of bearing his povert y, t oo, exact ly corresponded t o his m anner of bearing t hat defeat . I t seem ed t o m e t hat he t ook all blows and buffet s now, wit h j ust t he sam e air as he had t aken m ine t hen. I t was evident 258

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t hat he had not hing around him but t he sim plest necessaries, for everyt hing t hat I rem arked upon t urned out t o have been sent in on m y account from t he coffee- house or som ewhere else. Yet , having already m ade his fort une in his own m ind, he was so unassum ing wit h it t hat I felt quit e grat eful t o him for not being puffed up. I t was a pleasant addit ion t o his nat urally pleasant ways, and we got on fam ously. I n t he evening we went out for a walk in t he st reet s, and went halfprice t o t he Theat re; and next day we went t o church at West m inst er Abbey, and in t he aft ernoon we walked in t he Parks; and I wondered who shod all t he horses t here, and wished Joe did. On a m oderat e com put at ion, it was m any m ont hs, t hat Sunday, since I had left Joe and Biddy. The space int erposed bet ween m yself and t hem , part ook of t hat expansion, and our m arshes were any dist ance off. That I could have been at our old church in m y old church- going clot hes, on t he very last Sunday t hat ever was, seem ed a com binat ion of im possibilit ies, geographical and social, solar and lunar. Yet in t he London st reet s, so crowded wit h people and so brilliant ly light ed in t he dusk of evening, t here were depressing hint s of reproaches for t hat I had put t he poor old kit chen at hom e so far away; and in t he dead of night , t he foot st eps of som e incapable im post or of a port er m ooning about Barnard's I nn, under pret ence of wat ching it , fell hollow on m y heart . On t he Monday m orning at a quart er before nine, Herbert went t o t he count ing- house t o report him self—t o look about him , t oo, I suppose—and I bore him com pany. He was t o 259

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com e away in an hour or t wo t o at t end m e t o Ham m ersm it h, and I was t o wait about for him . I t appeared t o m e t hat t he eggs from which young I nsurers were hat ched, were incubat ed in dust and heat , like t he eggs of ost riches, j udging from t he places t o which t hose incipient giant s repaired on a Monday m orning. Nor did t he count ing- house where Herbert assist ed, show in m y eyes as at all a good Observat ory; being a back second floor up a yard, of a grim y presence in all part iculars, and wit h a look int o anot her back second floor, rat her t han a look out . I wait ed about unt il it was noon, and I went upon ‘Change, and I saw fluey m en sit t ing t here under t he bills about shipping, whom I t ook t o be great m erchant s, t hough I couldn't underst and why t hey should all be out of spirit s. When Herbert cam e, we went and had lunch at a celebrat ed house which I t hen quit e venerat ed, but now believe t o have been t he m ost abj ect superst it ion in Europe, and where I could not help not icing, even t hen, t hat t here was m uch m ore gravy on t he t ableclot hs and knives and wait ers’ clot hes, t han in t he st eaks. This collat ion disposed of at a m oderat e price ( considering t he grease: which was not charged for) , we went back t o Barnard's I nn and got m y lit t le port m ant eau, and t hen t ook coach for Ham m ersm it h. We arrived t here at t wo or t hree o'clock in t he aft ernoon, and had very lit t le way t o walk t o Mr. Pocket 's house. Lift ing t he lat ch of a gat e, we passed direct int o a lit t le garden overlooking t he river, where Mr. Pocket 's children were playing about . And unless I deceive m yself on a point where m y int erest s or prepossessions are cert ainly not concerned, I saw t hat Mr. and Mrs. Pocket 's 260

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children were not growing up or being brought up, but were t um bling up. Mrs. Pocket was sit t ing on a garden chair under a t ree, reading, wit h her legs upon anot her garden chair; and Mrs. Pocket 's t wo nursem aids were looking about t hem while t he children played. “ Mam m a,” said Herbert , “ t his is young Mr. Pip.” Upon which Mrs. Pocket received m e wit h an appearance of am iable dignit y. “ Mast er Alick and Miss Jane,” cried one of t he nurses t o t wo of t he children, “ if you go a- bouncing up against t hem bushes you'll fall over int o t he river and be drownded, and what 'll your pa say t hen?” At t he sam e t im e t his nurse picked up Mrs. Pocket 's handkerchief, and said, “ I f t hat don't m ake six t im es you've dropped it , Mum ! ” Upon which Mrs. Pocket laughed and said, “ Thank you, Flopson,” and set t ling herself in one chair only, resum ed her book. Her count enance im m ediat ely assum ed a knit t ed and int ent expression as if she had been reading for a week, but before she could have read half a dozen lines, she fixed her eyes upon m e, and said, “ I hope your m am m a is quit e well?” This unexpect ed inquiry put m e int o such a difficult y t hat I began saying in t he absurdest way t hat if t here had been any such person I had no doubt she would have been quit e well and would have been very m uch obliged and would have sent her com plim ent s, when t he nurse cam e t o m y rescue. “ Well! ” she cried, picking up t he pocket handkerchief, “ if t hat don't m ake seven t im es! What ARE you a- doing of t his aft ernoon, Mum ! ” Mrs. Pocket received her propert y, at first 261

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wit h a look of unut t erable surprise as if she had never seen it before, and t hen wit h a laugh of recognit ion, and said, “ Thank you, Flopson,” and forgot m e, and went on reading. I found, now I had leisure t o count t hem , t hat t here were no fewer t han six lit t le Pocket s present , in various st ages of t um bling up. I had scarcely arrived at t he t ot al when a sevent h was heard, as in t he region of air, wailing dolefully. “ I f t here ain't Baby! ” said Flopson, appearing t o t hink it m ost surprising. “ Make hast e up, Millers.” Millers, who was t he ot her nurse, ret ired int o t he house, and by degrees t he child's wailing was hushed and st opped, as if it were a young vent riloquist wit h som et hing in it s m out h. Mrs. Pocket read all t he t im e, and I was curious t o know what t he book could be. We were wait ing, I supposed, for Mr. Pocket t o com e out t o us; at any rat e we wait ed t here, and so I had an opport unit y of observing t he rem arkable fam ily phenom enon t hat whenever any of t he children st rayed near Mrs. Pocket in t heir play, t hey always t ripped t hem selves up and t um bled over her—always very m uch t o her m om ent ary ast onishm ent , and t heir own m ore enduring lam ent at ion. I was at a loss t o account for t his surprising circum st ance, and could not help giving m y m ind t o speculat ions about it , unt il by- and- by Millers cam e down wit h t he baby, which baby was handed t o Flopson, which Flopson was handing it t o Mrs. Pocket , when she t oo went fairly head forem ost over Mrs. Pocket , baby and all, and was caught by Herbert and m yself. “ Gracious m e, Flopson! ” said Mrs. Pocket , looking off her book for a m om ent , “ everybody's t um bling! ” 262

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“ Gracious you, indeed, Mum ! ” ret urned Flopson, very red in t he face; “ what have you got t here?” “ I got here, Flopson?” asked Mrs. Pocket . “ Why, if it ain't your foot st ool! ” cried Flopson. “ And if you keep it under your skirt s like t hat , who's t o help t um bling? Here! Take t he baby, Mum , and give m e your book.” Mrs. Pocket act ed on t he advice, and inexpert ly danced t he infant a lit t le in her lap, while t he ot her children played about it . This had last ed but a very short t im e, when Mrs. Pocket issued sum m ary orders t hat t hey were all t o be t aken int o t he house for a nap. Thus I m ade t he second discovery on t hat first occasion, t hat t he nurt ure of t he lit t le Pocket s consist ed of alt ernat ely t um bling up and lying down. Under t hese circum st ances, when Flopson and Millers had got t he children int o t he house, like a lit t le flock of sheep, and Mr. Pocket cam e out of it t o m ake m y acquaint ance, I was not m uch surprised t o find t hat Mr. Pocket was a gent lem an wit h a rat her perplexed expression of face, and wit h his very grey hair disordered on his head, as if he didn't quit e see his way t o put t ing anyt hing st raight .

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Chapt er 23 Mr. Pocket said he was glad t o see m e, and he hoped I was not sorry t o see him . “ For, I really am not ,” he added, wit h his son's sm ile, “ an alarm ing personage.” He was a younglooking m an, in spit e of his perplexit ies and his very grey hair, and his m anner seem ed quit e nat ural. I use t he word nat ural, in t he sense of it s being unaffect ed; t here was som et hing com ic in his dist raught way, as t hough it would have been downright ludicrous but for his own percept ion t hat it was very near being so. When he had t alked wit h m e a lit t le, he said t o Mrs. Pocket , wit h a rat her anxious cont ract ion of his eyebrows, which were black and handsom e, “ Belinda, I hope you have welcom ed Mr. Pip?” And she looked up from her book, and said, “ Yes.” She t hen sm iled upon m e in an absent st at e of m ind, and asked m e if I liked t he t ast e of orange- flower wat er? As t he quest ion had no bearing, near or rem ot e, on any foregone or subsequent t ransact ion, I consider it t o have been t hrown out , like her previous approaches, in general conversat ional condescension. I found out wit hin a few hours, and m ay m ent ion at once, t hat Mrs. Pocket was t he only daught er of a cert ain quit e accident al deceased Knight , who had invent ed for him self a convict ion t hat his deceased fat her would have been m ade a Baronet but for som ebody's det erm ined opposit ion arising out of ent irely personal m ot ives—I forget whose, if I ever knew— t he Sovereign's, t he Prim e Minist er's, t he Lord Chancellor's, t he Archbishop of Cant erbury's, anybody's—and had t acked 264

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him self on t o t he nobles of t he eart h in right of t his quit e supposit it ious fact . I believe he had been knight ed him self for st orm ing t he English gram m ar at t he point of t he pen, in a desperat e address engrossed on vellum , on t he occasion of t he laying of t he first st one of som e building or ot her, and for handing som e Royal Personage eit her t he t rowel or t he m ort ar. Be t hat as it m ay, he had direct ed Mrs. Pocket t o be brought up from her cradle as one who in t he nat ure of t hings m ust m arry a t it le, and who was t o be guarded from t he acquisit ion of plebeian dom est ic knowledge. So successful a wat ch and ward had been est ablished over t he young lady by t his j udicious parent , t hat she had grown up highly ornam ent al, but perfect ly helpless and useless. Wit h her charact er t hus happily form ed, in t he first bloom of her yout h she had encount ered Mr. Pocket : who was also in t he first bloom of yout h, and not quit e decided whet her t o m ount t o t he Woolsack, or t o roof him self in wit h a m it re. As his doing t he one or t he ot her was a m ere quest ion of t im e, he and Mrs. Pocket had t aken Tim e by t he forelock ( when, t o j udge from it s lengt h, it would seem t o have want ed cut t ing) , and had m arried wit hout t he knowledge of t he j udicious parent . The j udicious parent , having not hing t o best ow or wit hhold but his blessing, had handsom ely set t led t hat dower upon t hem aft er a short st ruggle, and had inform ed Mr. Pocket t hat his wife was “ a t reasure for a Prince.” Mr. Pocket had invest ed t he Prince's t reasure in t he ways of t he world ever since, and it was supposed t o have brought him in but indifferent int erest . St ill, Mrs. Pocket was in general t he obj ect of a queer sort of respect ful pit y, because she had not 265

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m arried a t it le; while Mr. Pocket was t he obj ect of a queer sort of forgiving reproach, because he had never got one. Mr. Pocket t ook m e int o t he house and showed m e m y room : which was a pleasant one, and so furnished as t hat I could use it wit h com fort for m y own privat e sit t ing- room . He t hen knocked at t he doors of t wo ot her sim ilar room s, and int roduced m e t o t heir occupant s, by nam e Drum m le and St art op. Drum m le, an old- looking young m an of a heavy order of archit ect ure, was whist ling. St art op, younger in years and appearance, was reading and holding his head, as if he t hought him self in danger of exploding it wit h t oo st rong a charge of knowledge. Bot h Mr. and Mrs. Pocket had such a not iceable air of being in som ebody else's hands, t hat I wondered who really was in possession of t he house and let t hem live t here, unt il I found t his unknown power t o be t he servant s. I t was a sm oot h way of going on, perhaps, in respect of saving t rouble; but it had t he appearance of being expensive, for t he servant s felt it a dut y t hey owed t o t hem selves t o be nice in t heir eat ing and drinking, and t o keep a deal of com pany down st airs. They allowed a very liberal t able t o Mr. and Mrs. Pocket , yet it always appeared t o m e t hat by far t he best part of t he house t o have boarded in, would have been t he kit chen—always supposing t he boarder capable of selfdefence, for, before I had been t here a week, a neighbouring lady wit h whom t he fam ily were personally unacquaint ed, wrot e in t o say t hat she had seen Millers slapping t he baby. This great ly dist ressed Mrs. Pocket , who burst int o t ears on 266

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receiving t he not e, and said t hat it was an ext raordinary t hing t hat t he neighbours couldn't m ind t heir own business. By degrees I learnt , and chiefly from Herbert , t hat Mr. Pocket had been educat ed at Harrow and at Cam bridge, where he had dist inguished him self; but t hat when he had had t he happiness of m arrying Mrs. Pocket very early in life, he had im paired his prospect s and t aken up t he calling of a Grinder. Aft er grinding a num ber of dull blades—of whom it was rem arkable t hat t heir fat hers, when influent ial, were always going t o help him t o preferm ent , but always forgot t o do it when t he blades had left t he Grindst one—he had wearied of t hat poor work and had com e t o London. Here, aft er gradually failing in loft ier hopes, he had “ read” wit h divers who had lacked opport unit ies or neglect ed t hem , and had refurbished divers ot hers for special occasions, and had t urned his acquirem ent s t o t he account of lit erary com pilat ion and correct ion, and on such m eans, added t o som e very m oderat e privat e resources, st ill m aint ained t he house I saw. Mr. and Mrs. Pocket had a t oady neighbour; a widow lady of t hat highly sym pat het ic nat ure t hat she agreed wit h everybody, blessed everybody, and shed sm iles and t ears on everybody, according t o circum st ances. This lady's nam e was Mrs. Coiler, and I had t he honour of t aking her down t o dinner on t he day of m y inst allat ion. She gave m e t o underst and on t he st airs, t hat it was a blow t o dear Mrs. Pocket t hat dear Mr. Pocket should be under t he necessit y of receiving gent lem en t o read wit h him . That did not ext end t o m e, she t old m e in a gush of love and confidence ( at t hat 267

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t im e, I had known her som et hing less t han five m inut es) ; if t hey were all like Me, it would be quit e anot her t hing. “ But dear Mrs. Pocket ,” said Mrs. Coiler, “ aft er her early disappoint m ent ( not t hat dear Mr. Pocket was t o blam e in t hat ) , requires so m uch luxury and elegance—” “ Yes, m a'am ,” I said, t o st op her, for I was afraid she was going t o cry. “ And she is of so arist ocrat ic a disposit ion—” “ Yes, m a'am ,” I said again, wit h t he sam e obj ect as before. “ —t hat it is hard,” said Mrs. Coiler, “ t o have dear Mr. Pocket 's t im e and at t ent ion divert ed from dear Mrs. Pocket .” I could not help t hinking t hat it m ight be harder if t he but cher's t im e and at t ent ion were divert ed from dear Mrs. Pocket ; but I said not hing, and indeed had enough t o do in keeping a bashful wat ch upon m y com pany- m anners. I t cam e t o m y knowledge, t hrough what passed bet ween Mrs. Pocket and Drum m le while I was at t ent ive t o m y knife and fork, spoon, glasses, and ot her inst rum ent s of selfdest ruct ion, t hat Drum m le, whose Christ ian nam e was Bent ley, was act ually t he next heir but one t o a baronet cy. I t furt her appeared t hat t he book I had seen Mrs. Pocket reading in t he garden, was all about t it les, and t hat she knew t he exact dat e at which her grandpapa would have com e int o t he book, if he ever had com e at all. Drum m le didn't say m uch, but in his lim it ed way ( he st ruck m e as a sulky kind of fellow) he spoke as one of t he elect , and recognized Mrs. Pocket as a wom an and a sist er. No one but t hem selves and Mrs. Coiler t he t oady neighbour showed any int erest in t his 268

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part of t he conversat ion, and it appeared t o m e t hat it was painful t o Herbert ; but it prom ised t o last a long t im e, when t he page cam e in wit h t he announcem ent of a dom est ic afflict ion. I t was, in effect , t hat t he cook had m islaid t he beef. To m y unut t erable am azem ent , I now, for t he first t im e, saw Mr. Pocket relieve his m ind by going t hrough a perform ance t hat st ruck m e as very ext raordinary, but which m ade no im pression on anybody else, and wit h which I soon becam e as fam iliar as t he rest . He laid down t he carving- knife and fork— being engaged in carving, at t he m om ent —put his t wo hands int o his dist urbed hair, and appeared t o m ake an ext raordinary effort t o lift him self up by it . When he had done t his, and had not lift ed him self up at all, he quiet ly went on wit h what he was about . Mrs. Coiler t hen changed t he subj ect , and began t o flat t er m e. I liked it for a few m om ent s, but she flat t ered m e so very grossly t hat t he pleasure was soon over. She had a serpent ine way of com ing close at m e when she pret ended t o be vit ally int erest ed in t he friends and localit ies I had left , which was alt oget her snaky and fork- t ongued; and when she m ade an occasional bounce upon St art op ( who said very lit t le t o her) , or upon Drum m le ( who said less) , I rat her envied t hem for being on t he opposit e side of t he t able. Aft er dinner t he children were int roduced, and Mrs. Coiler m ade adm iring com m ent s on t heir eyes, noses, and legs—a sagacious way of im proving t heir m inds. There were four lit t le girls, and t wo lit t le boys, besides t he baby who m ight have been eit her, and t he baby's next successor who was as yet neit her. They were brought in by Flopson and Millers, m uch 269

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as t hough t hose t wo noncom m issioned officers had been recruit ing som ewhere for children and had enlist ed t hese: while Mrs. Pocket looked at t he young Nobles t hat ought t o have been, as if she rat her t hought she had had t he pleasure of inspect ing t hem before, but didn't quit e know what t o m ake of t hem . “ Here! Give m e your fork, Mum , and t ake t he baby,” said Flopson. “ Don't t ake it t hat way, or you'll get it s head under t he t able.” Thus advised, Mrs. Pocket t ook it t he ot her way, and got it s head upon t he t able; which was announced t o all present by a prodigious concussion. “ Dear, dear! Give it m e back, Mum ,” said Flopson; “ and Miss Jane, com e and dance t o baby, do! ” One of t he lit t le girls, a m ere m it e who seem ed t o have prem at urely t aken upon herself som e charge of t he ot hers, st epped out of her place by m e, and danced t o and from t he baby unt il it left off crying, and laughed. Then, all t he children laughed, and Mr. Pocket ( who in t he m eant im e had t wice endeavoured t o lift him self up by t he hair) laughed, and we all laughed and were glad. Flopson, by dint of doubling t he baby at t he j oint s like a Dut ch doll, t hen got it safely int o Mrs. Pocket 's lap, and gave it t he nut crackers t o play wit h: at t he sam e t im e recom m ending Mrs. Pocket t o t ake not ice t hat t he handles of t hat inst rum ent were not likely t o agree wit h it s eyes, and sharply charging Miss Jane t o look aft er t he sam e. Then, t he t wo nurses left t he room , and had a lively scuffle on t he 270

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st aircase wit h a dissipat ed page who had wait ed at dinner, and who had clearly lost half his but t ons at t he gam ingt able. I was m ade very uneasy in m y m ind by Mrs. Pocket 's falling int o a discussion wit h Drum m le respect ing t wo baronet cies, while she at e a sliced orange st eeped in sugar and wine, and forget t ing all about t he baby on her lap: who did m ost appalling t hings wit h t he nut crackers. At lengt h, lit t le Jane perceiving it s young brains t o be im perilled, soft ly left her place, and wit h m any sm all art ifices coaxed t he dangerous weapon away. Mrs. Pocket finishing her orange at about t he sam e t im e, and not approving of t his, said t o Jane: “ You naught y child, how dare you? Go and sit down t his inst ant ! ” “ Mam m a dear,” lisped t he lit t le girl, “ baby ood have put hit h eyet h out .” “ How dare you t ell m e so?” ret ort ed Mrs. Pocket . “ Go and sit down in your chair t his m om ent ! ” Mrs. Pocket 's dignit y was so crushing, t hat I felt quit e abashed: as if I m yself had done som et hing t o rouse it . “ Belinda,” rem onst rat ed Mr. Pocket , from t he ot her end of t he t able, “ how can you be so unreasonable? Jane only int erfered for t he prot ect ion of baby.” “ I will not allow anybody t o int erfere,” said Mrs. Pocket . “ I am surprised, Mat t hew, t hat you should expose m e t o t he affront of int erference.” “ Good God! ” cried Mr. Pocket , in an out break of desolat e desperat ion. “ Are infant s t o be nut crackered int o t heir t om bs, and is nobody t o save t hem ?” 271

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“ I will not be int erfered wit h by Jane,” said Mrs. Pocket , wit h a m aj est ic glance at t hat innocent lit t le offender. “ I hope I know m y poor grandpapa's posit ion. Jane, indeed! ” Mr. Pocket got his hands in his hair again, and t his t im e really did lift him self som e inches out of his chair. “ Hear t his! ” he helplessly exclaim ed t o t he elem ent s. “ Babies are t o be nut crackered dead, for people's poor grandpapa's posit ions! ” Then he let him self down again, and becam e silent . We all looked awkwardly at t he t able- clot h while t his was going on. A pause succeeded, during which t he honest and irrepressible baby m ade a series of leaps and crows at lit t le Jane, who appeared t o m e t o be t he only m em ber of t he fam ily ( irrespect ive of servant s) wit h whom it had any decided acquaint ance. “ Mr. Drum m le,” said Mrs. Pocket , “ will you ring for Flopson? Jane, you undut iful lit t le t hing, go and lie down. Now, baby darling, com e wit h m a! ” The baby was t he soul of honour, and prot est ed wit h all it s m ight . I t doubled it self up t he wrong way over Mrs. Pocket 's arm , exhibit ed a pair of knit t ed shoes and dim pled ankles t o t he com pany in lieu of it s soft face, and was carried out in t he highest st at e of m ut iny. And it gained it s point aft er all, for I saw it t hrough t he window wit hin a few m inut es, being nursed by lit t le Jane. I t happened t hat t he ot her five children were left behind at t he dinner- t able, t hrough Flopson's having som e privat e engagem ent , and t heir not being anybody else's business. I t hus becam e aware of t he m ut ual relat ions bet ween t hem and Mr. Pocket , which were exem plified in t he following m anner. 272

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Mr. Pocket , wit h t he norm al perplexit y of his face height ened and his hair rum pled, looked at t hem for som e m inut es, as if he couldn't m ake out how t hey cam e t o be boarding and lodging in t hat est ablishm ent , and why t hey hadn't been billet ed by Nat ure on som ebody else. Then, in a dist ant , Missionary way he asked t hem cert ain quest ions—as why lit t le Joe had t hat hole in his frill: who said, Pa, Flopson was going t o m end it when she had t im e—and how lit t le Fanny cam e by t hat whit low: who said, Pa, Millers was going t o poult ice it when she didn't forget . Then, he m elt ed int o parent al t enderness, and gave t hem a shilling apiece and t old t hem t o go and play; and t hen as t hey went out , wit h one very st rong effort t o lift him self up by t he hair he dism issed t he hopeless subj ect . I n t he evening t here was rowing on t he river. As Drum m le and St art op had each a boat , I resolved t o set up m ine, and t o cut t hem bot h out . I was pret t y good at m ost exercises in which count ryboys are adept s, but , as I was conscious of want ing elegance of st yle for t he Tham es—not t o say for ot her wat ers—I at once engaged t o place m yself under t he t uit ion of t he winner of a prizewherry who plied at our st airs, and t o whom I was int roduced by m y new allies. This pract ical aut horit y confused m e very m uch, by saying I had t he arm of a blacksm it h. I f he could have known how nearly t he com plim ent lost him his pupil, I doubt if he would have paid it . There was a supper- t ray aft er we got hom e at night , and I t hink we should all have enj oyed ourselves, but for a rat her disagreeable dom est ic occurrence. Mr. Pocket was in good 273

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spirit s, when a housem aid cam e in, and said, “ I f you please, sir, I should wish t o speak t o you.” “ Speak t o your m ast er?” said Mrs. Pocket , whose dignit y was roused again. “ How can you t hink of such a t hing? Go and speak t o Flopson. Or speak t o m e—at som e ot her t im e.” “ Begging your pardon, m a'am ,” ret urned t he housem aid, “ I should wish t o speak at once, and t o speak t o m ast er.” Hereupon, Mr. Pocket went out of t he room , and we m ade t he best of ourselves unt il he cam e back. “ This is a pret t y t hing, Belinda! ” said Mr. Pocket , ret urning wit h a count enance expressive of grief and despair. “ Here's t he cook lying insensibly drunk on t he kit chen floor, wit h a large bundle of fresh but t er m ade up in t he cupboard ready t o sell for grease! ” Mrs. Pocket inst ant ly showed m uch am iable em ot ion, and said, “ This is t hat odious Sophia's doing! ” “ What do you m ean, Belinda?” dem anded Mr. Pocket . “ Sophia has t old you,” said Mrs. Pocket . “ Did I not see her wit h m y own eyes and hear her wit h m y own ears, com e int o t he room j ust now and ask t o speak t o you?” “ But has she not t aken m e down st airs, Belinda,” ret urned Mr. Pocket , “ and shown m e t he wom an, and t he bundle t oo?” “ And do you defend her, Mat t hew,” said Mrs. Pocket , “ for m aking m ischief?” Mr. Pocket ut t ered a dism al groan. “ Am I , grandpapa's granddaught er, t o be not hing in t he house?” said Mrs. Pocket . “ Besides, t he cook has always been a very nice respect ful wom an, and said in t he m ost nat ural 274

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m anner when she cam e t o look aft er t he sit uat ion, t hat she felt I was born t o be a Duchess.” There was a sofa where Mr. Pocket st ood, and he dropped upon it in t he at t it ude of t he Dying Gladiat or. St ill in t hat at t it ude he said, wit h a hollow voice, “ Good night , Mr. Pip,” when I deem ed it advisable t o go t o bed and leave him .

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Chapt er 24 Aft er t wo or t hree days, when I had est ablished m yself in m y room and had gone backwards and forwards t o London several t im es, and had ordered all I want ed of m y t radesm en, Mr. Pocket and I had a long t alk t oget her. He knew m ore of m y int ended career t han I knew m yself, for he referred t o his having been t old by Mr. Jaggers t hat I was not designed for any profession, and t hat I should be well enough educat ed for m y dest iny if I could “ hold m y own” wit h t he average of young m en in prosperous circum st ances. I acquiesced, of course, knowing not hing t o t he cont rary. He advised m y at t ending cert ain places in London, for t he acquisit ion of such m ere rudim ent s as I want ed, and m y invest ing him wit h t he funct ions of explainer and direct or of all m y st udies. He hoped t hat wit h int elligent assist ance I should m eet wit h lit t le t o discourage m e, and should soon be able t o dispense wit h any aid but his. Through his way of saying t his, and m uch m ore t o sim ilar purpose, he placed him self on confident ial t erm s wit h m e in an adm irable m anner; and I m ay st at e at once t hat he was always so zealous and honourable in fulfilling his com pact wit h m e, t hat he m ade m e zealous and honourable in fulfilling m ine wit h him . I f he had shown indifference as a m ast er, I have no doubt I should have ret urned t he com plim ent as a pupil; he gave m e no such excuse, and each of us did t he ot her j ust ice. Nor, did I ever regard him as having anyt hing ludicrous about 276

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him —or anyt hing but what was serious, honest , and good—in his t ut or com m unicat ion wit h m e. When t hese point s were set t led, and so far carried out as t hat I had begun t o work in earnest , it occurred t o m e t hat if I could ret ain m y bedroom in Barnard's I nn, m y life would be agreeably varied, while m y m anners would be none t he worse for Herbert 's societ y. Mr. Pocket did not obj ect t o t his arrangem ent , but urged t hat before any st ep could possibly be t aken in it , it m ust be subm it t ed t o m y guardian. I felt t hat t his delicacy arose out of t he considerat ion t hat t he plan would save Herbert som e expense, so I went off t o Lit t le Brit ain and im part ed m y wish t o Mr. Jaggers. “ I f I could buy t he furnit ure now hired for m e,” said I , “ and one or t wo ot her lit t le t hings, I should be quit e at hom e t here.” “ Go it ! ” said Mr. Jaggers, wit h a short laugh. “ I t old you you'd get on. Well! How m uch do you want ?” I said I didn't know how m uch. “ Com e! ” ret ort ed Mr. Jaggers. “ How m uch? Fift y pounds?” “ Oh, not nearly so m uch.” “ Five pounds?” said Mr. Jaggers. This was such a great fall, t hat I said in discom fit ure, “ Oh! m ore t han t hat .” “ More t han t hat , eh! ” ret ort ed Mr. Jaggers, lying in wait for m e, wit h his hands in his pocket s, his head on one side, and his eyes on t he wall behind m e; “ how m uch m ore?” “ I t is so difficult t o fix a sum ,” said I , hesit at ing.

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“ Com e! ” said Mr. Jaggers. “ Let 's get at it . Twice five; will t hat do? Three t im es five; will t hat do? Four t im es five; will t hat do?” I said I t hought t hat would do handsom ely. “ Four t im es five will do handsom ely, will it ?” said Mr. Jaggers, knit t ing his brows. “ Now, what do you m ake of four t im es five?” “ What do I m ake of it ?” “ Ah! ” said Mr. Jaggers; “ how m uch?” “ I suppose you m ake it t went y pounds,” said I , sm iling. “ Never m ind what I m ake it , m y friend,” observed Mr. Jaggers, wit h a knowing and cont radict ory t oss of his head. “ I want t o know what you m ake it .” “ Twent y pounds, of course.” “ Wem m ick! ” said Mr. Jaggers, opening his office door. “ Take Mr. Pip's writ t en order, and pay him t went y pounds.” This st rongly m arked way of doing business m ade a st rongly m arked im pression on m e, and t hat not of an agreeable kind. Mr. Jaggers never laughed; but he wore great bright creaking boot s, and, in poising him self on t hese boot s, wit h his large head bent down and his eyebrows j oined t oget her, await ing an answer, he som et im es caused t he boot s t o creak, as if t hey laughed in a dry and suspicious way. As he happened t o go out now, and as Wem m ick was brisk and t alkat ive, I said t o Wem m ick t hat I hardly knew what t o m ake of Mr. Jaggers's m anner. “ Tell him t hat , and he'll t ake it as a com plim ent ,” answered Wem m ick; “ he don't m ean t hat you should know what t o 278

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m ake of it .—Oh! ” for I looked surprised, “ it 's not personal; it 's professional: only professional.” Wem m ick was at his desk, lunching—and crunching—on a dry hard biscuit ; pieces of which he t hrew from t im e t o t im e int o his slit of a m out h, as if he were post ing t hem . “ Always seem s t o m e,” said Wem m ick, “ as if he had set a m ant rap and was wat ching it . Suddenly—click—you're caught ! ” Wit hout rem arking t hat m ant raps were not am ong t he am enit ies of life, I said I supposed he was very skilful? “ Deep,” said Wem m ick, “ as Aust ralia.” Point ing wit h his pen at t he office floor, t o express t hat Aust ralia was underst ood, for t he purposes of t he figure, t o be sym m et rically on t he opposit e spot of t he globe. “ I f t here was anyt hing deeper,” added Wem m ick, bringing his pen t o paper, “ he'd be it .” Then, I said I supposed he had a fine business, and Wem m ick said, “ Ca- pi- t al! ” Then I asked if t here were m any clerks? t o which he replied: “ We don't run m uch int o clerks, because t here's only one Jaggers, and people won't have him at second- hand. There are only four of us. Would you like t o see ‘em ? You are one of us, as I m ay say.” I accept ed t he offer. When Mr. Wem m ick had put all t he biscuit int o t he post , and had paid m e m y m oney from a cash- box in a safe, t he key of which safe he kept som ewhere down his back and produced from his coat - collar like an iron pigt ail, we went up- st airs. The house was dark and shabby, and t he greasy shoulders t hat had left t heir m ark in Mr. 279

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Jaggers's room , seem ed t o have been shuffling up and down t he st aircase for years. I n t he front first floor, a clerk who looked som et hing bet ween a publican and a rat - cat cher—a large pale puffed swollen m an—was at t ent ively engaged wit h t hree or four people of shabby appearance, whom he t reat ed as uncerem oniously as everybody seem ed t o be t reat ed who cont ribut ed t o Mr. Jaggers's coffers. “ Get t ing evidence t oget her,” said Mr. Wem m ick, as we cam e out , “ for t he Bailey.” I n t he room over t hat , a lit t le flabby t errier of a clerk wit h dangling hair ( his cropping seem ed t o have been forgot t en when he was a puppy) was sim ilarly engaged wit h a m an wit h weak eyes, whom Mr. Wem m ick present ed t o m e as a sm elt er who kept his pot always boiling, and who would m elt m e anyt hing I pleased—and who was in an excessive whit eperspirat ion, as if he had been t rying his art on him self. I n a back room , a high- shouldered m an wit h a face- ache t ied up in dirt y flannel, who was dressed in old black clot hes t hat bore t he appearance of having been waxed, was st ooping over his work of m aking fair copies of t he not es of t he ot her t wo gent lem en, for Mr. Jaggers's own use. This was all t he est ablishm ent . When we went down- st airs again, Wem m ick led m e int o m y guardian's room , and said, “ This you've seen already.” “ Pray,” said I , as t he t wo odious cast s wit h t he t wit chy leer upon t hem caught m y sight again, “ whose likenesses are t hose?” “ These?” said Wem m ick, get t ing upon a chair, and blowing t he dust off t he horrible heads before bringing t hem down. 280

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“ These are t wo celebrat ed ones. Fam ous client s of ours t hat got us a world of credit . This chap ( why you m ust have com e down in t he night and been peeping int o t he inkst and, t o get t his blot upon your eyebrow, you old rascal! ) m urdered his m ast er, and, considering t hat he wasn't brought up t o evidence, didn't plan it badly.” “ I s it like him ?” I asked, recoiling from t he brut e, as Wem m ick spat upon his eyebrow and gave it a rub wit h his sleeve. “ Like him ? I t 's him self, you know. The cast was m ade in Newgat e, direct ly aft er he was t aken down. You had a part icular fancy for m e, hadn't you, Old Art ful?” said Wem m ick. He t hen explained t his affect ionat e apost rophe, by t ouching his brooch represent ing t he lady and t he weeping willow at t he t om b wit h t he urn upon it , and saying, “ Had it m ade for m e, express! ” “ I s t he lady anybody?” said I . “ No,” ret urned Wem m ick. “ Only his gam e. ( You liked your bit of gam e, didn't you?) No; deuce a bit of a lady in t he case, Mr. Pip, except one—and she wasn't of t his slender ladylike sort , and you wouldn't have caught her looking aft er t his urn—unless t here was som et hing t o drink in it .” Wem m ick's at t ent ion being t hus direct ed t o his brooch, he put down t he cast , and polished t he brooch wit h his pocket - handkerchief. “ Did t hat ot her creat ure com e t o t he sam e end?” I asked. “ He has t he sam e look.” “ You're right ,” said Wem m ick; “ it 's t he genuine look. Much as if one nost ril was caught up wit h a horsehair and a lit t le fish- hook. Yes, he cam e t o t he sam e end; quit e t he nat ural 281

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end here, I assure you. He forged wills, t his blade did, if he didn't also put t he supposed t est at ors t o sleep t oo. You were a gent lem anly Cove, t hough” ( Mr. Wem m ick was again apost rophizing) , “ and you said you could writ e Greek. Yah, Bounceable! What a liar you were! I never m et such a liar as you! ” Before put t ing his lat e friend on his shelf again, Wem m ick t ouched t he largest of his m ourning rings and said, “ Sent out t o buy it for m e, only t he day before.” While he was put t ing up t he ot her cast and com ing down from t he chair, t he t hought crossed m y m ind t hat all his personal j ewellery was derived from like sources. As he had shown no diffidence on t he subj ect , I vent ured on t he libert y of asking him t he quest ion, when he st ood before m e, dust ing his hands. “ Oh yes,” he ret urned, “ t hese are all gift s of t hat kind. One brings anot her, you see; t hat 's t he way of it . I always t ake ‘em . They're curiosit ies. And t hey're propert y. They m ay not be wort h m uch, but , aft er all, t hey're propert y and port able. I t don't signify t o you wit h your brilliant look- out , but as t o m yself, m y guidingst ar always is, “ Get hold of port able propert y" .” When I had rendered hom age t o t his light , he went on t o say, in a friendly m anner: “ I f at any odd t im e when you have not hing bet t er t o do, you wouldn't m ind com ing over t o see m e at Walwort h, I could offer you a bed, and I should consider it an honour. I have not m uch t o show you; but such t wo or t hree curiosit ies as I have got , you m ight like t o look over; and I am fond of a bit of garden and a sum m er- house.” 282

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I said I should be delight ed t o accept his hospit alit y. “ Thankee,” said he; “ t hen we'll consider t hat it 's t o com e off, when convenient t o you. Have you dined wit h Mr. Jaggers yet ?” “ Not yet .” “ Well,” said Wem m ick, “ he'll give you wine, and good wine. I 'll give you punch, and not bad punch. and now I 'll t ell you som et hing. When you go t o dine wit h Mr. Jaggers, look at his housekeeper.” “ Shall I see som et hing very uncom m on?” “ Well,” said Wem m ick, “ you'll see a wild beast t am ed. Not so very uncom m on, you'll t ell m e. I reply, t hat depends on t he original wildness of t he beast , and t he am ount of t am ing. I t won't lower your opinion of Mr. Jaggers's powers. Keep your eye on it .” I t old him I would do so, wit h all t he int erest and curiosit y t hat his preparat ion awakened. As I was t aking m y depart ure, he asked m e if I would like t o devot e five m inut es t o seeing Mr. Jaggers “ at it ?” For several reasons, and not least because I didn't clearly know what Mr. Jaggers would be found t o be “ at ,” I replied in t he affirm at ive. We dived int o t he Cit y, and cam e up in a crowded policecourt , where a blood- relat ion ( in t he m urderous sense) of t he deceased wit h t he fanciful t ast e in brooches, was st anding at t he bar, uncom fort ably chewing som et hing; while m y guardian had a wom an under exam inat ion or cross- exam inat ion—I don't know which—and was st riking her, and t he bench, and everybody present , wit h awe. I f anybody, of what soever degree, said a word t hat he 283

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didn't approve of, he inst ant ly required t o have it “ t aken down.” I f anybody wouldn't m ake an adm ission, he said, “ I 'll have it out of you! ” and if anybody m ade an adm ission, he said, “ Now I have got you! ” t he m agist rat es shivered under a single bit e of his finger. Thieves and t hieft akers hung in dread rapt ure on his words, and shrank when a hair of his eyebrows t urned in t heir direct ion. Which side he was on, I couldn't m ake out , for he seem ed t o m e t o be grinding t he whole place in a m ill; I only know t hat when I st ole out on t ipt oe, he was not on t he side of t he bench; for, he was m aking t he legs of t he old gent lem an who presided, quit e convulsive under t he t able, by his denunciat ions of his conduct as t he represent at ive of Brit ish law and j ust ice in t hat chair t hat day.

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Chapt er 25 Bent ley Drum m le, who was so sulky a fellow t hat he even t ook up a book as if it s writ er had done him an inj ury, did not t ake up an acquaint ance in a m ore agreeable spirit . Heavy in figure, m ovem ent , and com prehension—in t he sluggish com plexion of his face, and in t he large awkward t ongue t hat seem ed t o loll about in his m out h as he him self lolled about in a room —he was idle, proud, niggardly, reserved, and suspicious. He cam e of rich people down in Som erset shire, who had nursed t his com binat ion of qualit ies unt il t hey m ade t he discovery t hat it was j ust of age and a blockhead. Thus, Bent ley Drum m le had com e t o Mr. Pocket when he was a head t aller t han t hat gent lem an, and half a dozen heads t hicker t han m ost gent lem en. St art op had been spoilt by a weak m ot her and kept at hom e when he ought t o have been at school, but he was devot edly at t ached t o her, and adm ired her beyond m easure. He had a wom an's delicacy of feat ure, and was—" as you m ay see, t hough you never saw her,” said Herbert t o m e—exact ly like his m ot her. I t was but nat ural t hat I should t ake t o him m uch m ore kindly t han t o Drum m le, and t hat , even in t he earliest evenings of our boat ing, he and I should pull hom eward abreast of one anot her, conversing from boat t o boat , while Bent ley Drum m le cam e up in our wake alone, under t he overhanging banks and am ong t he rushes. He would always creep in- shore like som e uncom fort able am phibious creat ure, even when t he t ide would have sent him 285

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fast upon his way; and I always t hink of him as com ing aft er us in t he dark or by t he back- wat er, when our own t wo boat s were breaking t he sunset or t he m oonlight in m id- st ream . Herbert was m y int im at e com panion and friend. I present ed him wit h a half- share in m y boat , which was t he occasion of his oft en com ing down t o Ham m ersm it h; and m y possession of a halfshare in his cham bers oft en t ook m e up t o London. We used t o walk bet ween t he t wo places at all hours. I have an affect ion for t he road yet ( t hough it is not so pleasant a road as it was t hen) , form ed in t he im pressibilit y of unt ried yout h and hope. When I had been in Mr. Pocket 's fam ily a m ont h or t wo, Mr. and Mrs. Cam illa t urned up. Cam illa was Mr. Pocket 's sist er. Georgiana, whom I had seen at Miss Havisham 's on t he sam e occasion, also t urned up. she was a cousin—an indigest ive single wom an, who called her rigidit y religion, and her liver love. These people hat ed m e wit h t he hat red of cupidit y and disappoint m ent . As a m at t er of course, t hey fawned upon m e in m y prosperit y wit h t he basest m eanness. Towards Mr. Pocket , as a grown- up infant wit h no not ion of his own int erest s, t hey showed t he com placent forbearance I had heard t hem express. Mrs. Pocket t hey held in cont em pt ; but t hey allowed t he poor soul t o have been heavily disappoint ed in life, because t hat shed a feeble reflect ed light upon t hem selves. These were t he surroundings am ong which I set t led down, and applied m yself t o m y educat ion. I soon cont ract ed expensive habit s, and began t o spend an am ount of m oney t hat wit hin a few short m ont hs I should have t hought alm ost 286

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fabulous; but t hrough good and evil I st uck t o m y books. There was no ot her m erit in t his, t han m y having sense enough t o feel m y deficiencies. Bet ween Mr. Pocket and Herbert I got on fast ; and, wit h one or t he ot her always at m y elbow t o give m e t he st art I want ed, and clear obst ruct ions out of m y road, I m ust have been as great a dolt as Drum m le if I had done less. I had not seen Mr. Wem m ick for som e weeks, when I t hought I would writ e him a not e and propose t o go hom e wit h him on a cert ain evening. He replied t hat it would give him m uch pleasure, and t hat he would expect m e at t he office at six o'clock. Thit her I went , and t here I found him , put t ing t he key of his safe down his back as t he clock st ruck. “ Did you t hink of walking down t o Walwort h?” said he. “ Cert ainly,” said I , “ if you approve.” “ Very m uch,” was Wem m ick's reply, “ for I have had m y legs under t he desk all day, and shall be glad t o st ret ch t hem . Now, I 'll t ell you what I have got for supper, Mr. Pip. I have got a st ewed st eak—which is of hom e preparat ion—and a cold roast fowl—which is from t he cook's- shop. I t hink it 's t ender, because t he m ast er of t he shop was a Jurym an in som e cases of ours t he ot her day, and we let him down easy. I rem inded him of it when I bought t he fowl, and I said, “ Pick us out a good one, old Brit on, because if we had chosen t o keep you in t he box anot her day or t wo, we could easily have done it .” He said t o t hat , “ Let m e m ake you a present of t he best fowl in t he shop.” I let him , of course. As far as it goes, it 's propert y and port able. You don't obj ect t o an aged parent , I hope?” 287

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I really t hought he was st ill speaking of t he fowl, unt il he added, “ Because I have got an aged parent at m y place.” I t hen said what polit eness required. “ So, you haven't dined wit h Mr. Jaggers yet ?” he pursued, as we walked along. “ Not yet .” “ He t old m e so t his aft ernoon when he heard you were com ing. I expect you'll have an invit at ion t o- m orrow. He's going t o ask your pals, t oo. Three of ‘em ; ain't t here?” Alt hough I was not in t he habit of count ing Drum m le as one of m y int im at e associat es, I answered, “ Yes.” “ Well, he's going t o ask t he whole gang; ” I hardly felt com plim ent ed by t he word; “ and what ever he gives you, he'll give you good. Don't look forward t o variet y, but you'll have excellence. And t here'sa not her rum t hing in his house,” proceeded Wem m ick, aft er a m om ent 's pause, as if t he rem ark followed on t he housekeeper underst ood; “ he never let s a door or window be fast ened at night .” “ I s he never robbed?” “ That 's it ! ” ret urned Wem m ick. “ He says, and gives it out publicly, “ I want t o see t he m an who'll rob m e.” Lord bless you, I have heard him , a hundred t im es if I have heard him once, say t o regular cracksm en in our front office, “ You know where I live; now, no bolt is ever drawn t here; why don't you do a st roke of business wit h m e? Com e; can't I t em pt you?” Not a m an of t hem , sir, would be bold enough t o t ry it on, for love or m oney.” “ They dread him so m uch?” said I . 288

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“ Dread him ,” said Wem m ick. “ I believe you t hey dread him . Not but what he's art ful, even in his defiance of t hem . No silver, sir. Brit annia m et al, every spoon.” “ So t hey wouldn't have m uch,” I observed, “ even if t hey—” “ Ah! But he would have m uch,” said Wem m ick, cut t ing m e short , “ and t hey know it . He'd have t heir lives, and t he lives of scores of ‘em . He'd have all he could get . And it 's im possible t o say what he couldn't get , if he gave his m ind t o it .” I was falling int o m edit at ion on m y guardian's great ness, when Wem m ick rem arked: “ As t o t he absence of plat e, t hat 's only his nat ural dept h, you know. A river's it s nat ural dept h, and he's his nat ural dept h. Look at his wat ch- chain. That 's real enough.” “ I t 's very m assive,” said I . “ Massive?” repeat ed Wem m ick. “ I t hink so. And his wat ch is a gold repeat er, and wort h a hundred pound if it 's wort h a penny. Mr. Pip, t here are about seven hundred t hieves in t his t own who know all about t hat wat ch; t here's not a m an, a wom an, or a child, am ong t hem , who wouldn't ident ify t he sm allest link in t hat chain, and drop it as if it was red- hot , if inveigled int o t ouching it .” At first wit h such discourse, and aft erwards wit h conversat ion of a m ore general nat ure, did Mr. Wem m ick and I beguile t he t im e and t he road, unt il he gave m e t o underst and t hat we had arrived in t he dist rict of Walwort h. I t appeared t o be a collect ion of back lanes, dit ches, and lit t le gardens, and t o present t he aspect of a rat her dull ret irem ent . Wem m ick's house was a lit t le wooden cot t age in 289

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t he m idst of plot s of garden, and t he t op of it was cut out and paint ed like a bat t ery m ount ed wit h guns. “ My own doing,” said Wem m ick. “ Looks pret t y; don't it ?” I highly com m ended it , I t hink it was t he sm allest house I ever saw; wit h t he queerest got hic windows ( by far t he great er part of t hem sham ) , and a got hic door, alm ost t oo sm all t o get in at . “ That 's a real flagst aff, you see,” said Wem m ick, “ and on Sundays I run up a real flag. Then look here. Aft er I have crossed t his bridge, I hoist it up—so—and cut off t he com m unicat ion.” The bridge was a plank, and it crossed a chasm about four feet wide and t wo deep. But it was very pleasant t o see t he pride wit h which he hoist ed it up and m ade it fast ; sm iling as he did so, wit h a relish and not m erely m echanically. “ At nine o'clock every night , Greenwich t im e,” said Wem m ick, “ t he gun fires. There he is, you see! And when you hear him go, I t hink you'll say he's a St inger.” The piece of ordnance referred t o, was m ount ed in a separat e fort ress, const ruct ed of lat t ice- work. I t was prot ect ed from t he weat her by an ingenious lit t le t arpaulin cont rivance in t he nat ure of an um brella. “ Then, at t he back,” said Wem m ick, “ out of sight , so as not t o im pede t he idea of fort ificat ions—for it 's a principle wit h m e, if you have an idea, carry it out and keep it up—I don't know whet her t hat 's your opinion—” I said, decidedly. “ —At t he back, t here's a pig, and t here are fowls and rabbit s; t hen, I knock t oget her m y own lit t le fram e, you see, 290

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and grow cucum bers; and you'll j udge at supper what sort of a salad I can raise. So, sir,” said Wem m ick, sm iling again, but seriously t oo, as he shook his head, “ if you can suppose t he lit t le place besieged, it would hold out a devil of a t im e in point of provisions.” Then, he conduct ed m e t o a bower about a dozen yards off, but which was approached by such ingenious t wist s of pat h t hat it t ook quit e a long t im e t o get at ; and in t his ret reat our glasses were already set fort h. Our punch was cooling in an ornam ent al lake, on whose m argin t he bower was raised. This piece of wat er ( wit h an island in t he m iddle which m ight have been t he salad for supper) was of a circular form , and he had const ruct ed a fount ain in it , which, when you set a lit t le m ill going and t ook a cork out of a pipe, played t o t hat powerful ext ent t hat it m ade t he back of your hand quit e wet . “ I am m y own engineer, and m y own carpent er, and m y own plum ber, and m y own gardener, and m y own Jack of all Trades,” said Wem m ick, in acknowledging m y com plim ent s. “ Well; it 's a good t hing, you know. I t brushes t he Newgat e cobwebs away, and pleases t he Aged. You wouldn't m ind being at once int roduced t o t he Aged, would you? I t wouldn't put you out ?” I expressed t he readiness I felt , and we went int o t he cast le. There, we found, sit t ing by a fire, a very old m an in a flannel coat : clean, cheerful, com fort able, and well cared for, but int ensely deaf. “ Well aged parent ,” said Wem m ick, shaking hands wit h him in a cordial and j ocose way, “ how am you?” 291

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“ All right , John; all right ! ” replied t he old m an. “ Here's Mr. Pip, aged parent ,” said Wem m ick, “ and I wish you could hear his nam e. Nod away at him , Mr. Pip; t hat 's what he likes. Nod away at him , if you please, like winking! ” “ This is a fine place of m y son's, sir,” cried t he old m an, while I nodded as hard as I possibly could. “ This is a pret t y pleasure- ground, sir. This spot and t hese beaut iful works upon it ought t o be kept t oget her by t he Nat ion, aft er m y son's t im e, for t he people's enj oym ent .” “ You're as proud of it as Punch; ain't you, Aged?” said Wem m ick, cont em plat ing t he old m an, wit h his hard face really soft ened; “ t here's a nod for you; ” giving him a t rem endous one; “ t here's anot her for you; ” giving him a st ill m ore t rem endous one; “ you like t hat , don't you? I f you're not t ired, Mr. Pip—t hough I know it 's t iring t o st rangers—will you t ip him one m ore? You can't t hink how it pleases him .” I t ipped him several m ore, and he was in great spirit s. We left him best irring him self t o feed t he fowls, and we sat down t o our punch in t he arbour; where Wem m ick t old m e as he sm oked a pipe t hat it had t aken him a good m any years t o bring t he propert y up t o it s present pit ch of perfect ion. “ I s it your own, Mr. Wem m ick?” “ O yes,” said Wem m ick, “ I have got hold of it , a bit at a t im e. I t 's a freehold, by George! ” “ I s it , indeed? I hope Mr. Jaggers adm ires it ?” “ Never seen it ,” said Wem m ick. “ Never heard of it . Never seen t he Aged. Never heard of him . No; t he office is one t hing, and privat e life is anot her. When I go int o t he office, I leave t he Cast le behind m e, and when I com e int o t he Cast le, 292

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I leave t he office behind m e. I f it 's not in any way disagreeable t o you, you'll oblige m e by doing t he sam e. I don't wish it professionally spoken about .” Of course I felt m y good fait h involved in t he observance of his request . The punch being very nice, we sat t here drinking it and t alking, unt il it was alm ost nine o'clock. “ Get t ing near gun- fire,” said Wem m ick t hen, as he laid down his pipe; “ it 's t he Aged's t reat .” Proceeding int o t he Cast le again, we found t he Aged heat ing t he poker, wit h expect ant eyes, as a prelim inary t o t he perform ance of t his great night ly cerem ony. Wem m ick st ood wit h his wat ch in his hand, unt il t he m om ent was com e for him t o t ake t he red- hot poker from t he Aged, and repair t o t he bat t ery. He t ook it , and went out , and present ly t he St inger went off wit h a Bang t hat shook t he crazy lit t le box of a cot t age as if it m ust fall t o pieces, and m ade every glass and t eacup in it ring. Upon t his, t he Aged—who I believe would have been blown out of his arm - chair but for holding on by t he elbows—cried out exult ingly, “ He's fired! I heerd him ! ” and I nodded at t he old gent lem an unt il it is no figure of speech t o declare t hat I absolut ely could not see him . The int erval bet ween t hat t im e and supper, Wem m ick devot ed t o showing m e his collect ion of curiosit ies. They were m ost ly of a felonious charact er; com prising t he pen wit h which a celebrat ed forgery had been com m it t ed, a dist inguished razor or t wo, som e locks of hair, and several m anuscript confessions writ t en under condem nat ion—upon which Mr. Wem m ick set part icular value as being, t o use his own words, “ every one of ‘em Lies, sir.” These were 293

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agreeably dispersed am ong sm all specim ens of china and glass, various neat t rifles m ade by t he propriet or of t he m useum , and som e t obacco- st oppers carved by t he Aged. They were all displayed in t hat cham ber of t he Cast le int o which I had been first induct ed, and which served, not only as t he general sit t ing- room but as t he kit chen t oo, if I m ight j udge from a saucepan on t he hob, and a brazen bij ou over t he fireplace designed for t he suspension of a roast ing- j ack. There was a neat lit t le girl in at t endance, who looked aft er t he Aged in t he day. When she had laid t he supper- clot h, t he bridge was lowered t o give her m eans of egress, and she wit hdrew for t he night . The supper was excellent ; and t hough t he Cast le was rat her subj ect t o dry- rot insom uch t hat it t ast ed like a bad nut , and t hough t he pig m ight have been fart her off, I was heart ily pleased wit h m y whole ent ert ainm ent . Nor was t here any drawback on m y lit t le t urret bedroom , beyond t here being such a very t hin ceiling bet ween m e and t he flagst aff, t hat when I lay down on m y back in bed, it seem ed as if I had t o balance t hat pole on m y forehead all night . Wem m ick was up early in t he m orning, and I am afraid I heard him cleaning m y boot s. Aft er t hat , he fell t o gardening, and I saw him from m y got hic window pret ending t o em ploy t he Aged, and nodding at him in a m ost devot ed m anner. Our breakfast was as good as t he supper, and at half- past eight precisely we st art ed for Lit t le Brit ain. By degrees, Wem m ick got dryer and harder as we went along, and his m out h t ight ened int o a post - office again. At last , when we got t o his place of business and he pulled out his key from his coat 294

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collar, he looked as unconscious of his Walwort h propert y as if t he Cast le and t he drawbridge and t he arbour and t he lake and t he fount ain and t he Aged, had all been blown int o space t oget her by t he last discharge of t he St inger.

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Chapt er 26 I t fell out as Wem m ick had t old m e it would, t hat I had an early opport unit y of com paring m y guardian's est ablishm ent wit h t hat of his cashier and clerk. My guardian was in his room , washing his hands wit h his scent ed soap, when I went int o t he office from Walwort h; and he called m e t o him , and gave m e t he invit at ion for m yself and friends which Wem m ick had prepared m e t o receive. “ No cerem ony,” he st ipulat ed, “ and no dinner dress, and say t om orrow.” I asked him where we should com e t o ( for I had no idea where he lived) , and I believe it was in his general obj ect ion t o m ake anyt hing like an adm ission, t hat he replied, “ Com e here, and I 'll t ake you hom e wit h m e.” I em brace t his opport unit y of rem arking t hat he washed his client s off, as if he were a surgeon or a dent ist . He had a closet in his room , fit t ed up for t he purpose, which sm elt of t he scent ed soap like a perfum er's shop. I t had an unusually large j ack- t owel on a roller inside t he door, and he would wash his hands, and wipe t hem and dry t hem all over t his t owel, whenever he cam e in from a police- court or dism issed a client from his room . When I and m y friends repaired t o him at six o'clock next day, he seem ed t o have been engaged on a case of a darker com plexion t han usual, for, we found him wit h his head but t ed int o t his closet , not only washing his hands, but laving his face and gargling his t hroat . And even when he had done all t hat , and had gone all round t he j ack- t owel, he t ook out his penknife and scraped t he case out of his nails before he put his coat on. 296

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There were som e people slinking about as usual when we passed out int o t he st reet , who were evident ly anxious t o speak wit h him ; but t here was som et hing so conclusive in t he halo of scent ed soap which encircled his presence, t hat t hey gave it up for t hat day. As we walked along west ward, he was recognized ever and again by som e face in t he crowd of t he st reet s, and whenever t hat happened he t alked louder t o m e; but he never ot herwise recognized anybody, or t ook not ice t hat anybody recognized him . He conduct ed us t o Gerrard- st reet , Soho, t o a house on t he sout h side of t hat st reet . Rat her a st at ely house of it s kind, but dolefully in want of paint ing, and wit h dirt y windows. He t ook out his key and opened t he door, and we all went int o a st one hall, bare, gloom y, and lit t le used. So, up a dark brown st aircase int o a series of t hree dark brown room s on t he first floor. There were carved garlands on t he panelled walls, and as he st ood am ong t hem giving us welcom e, I know what kind of loops I t hought t hey looked like. Dinner was laid in t he best of t hese room s; t he second was his dressing- room ; t he t hird, his bedroom . He t old us t hat he held t he whole house, but rarely used m ore of it t han we saw. The t able was com fort ably laid—no silver in t he service, of course—and at t he side of his chair was a capacious dum bwait er, wit h a variet y of bot t les and decant ers on it , and four dishes of fruit for dessert . I not iced t hroughout , t hat he kept everyt hing under his own hand, and dist ribut ed everyt hing him self. There was a bookcase in t he room ; I saw, from t he backs of t he books, t hat t hey were about evidence, crim inal law, 297

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crim inal biography, t rials, act s of parliam ent , and such t hings. The furnit ure was all very solid and good, like his wat chchain. I t had an official look, however, and t here was not hing m erely ornam ent al t o be seen. I n a corner, was a lit t le t able of papers wit h a shaded lam p: so t hat he seem ed t o bring t he office hom e wit h him in t hat respect t oo, and t o wheel it out of an evening and fall t o work. As he had scarcely seen m y t hree com panions unt il now— for, he and I had walked t oget her—he st ood on t he heart hrug, aft er ringing t he bell, and t ook a searching look at t hem . To m y surprise, he seem ed at once t o be principally if not solely int erest ed in Drum m le. “ Pip,” said he, put t ing his large hand on m y shoulder and m oving m e t o t he window, “ I don't know one from t he ot her. Who's t he Spider?” “ The spider?” said I . “ The blot chy, sprawly, sulky fellow.” “ That 's Bent ley Drum m le,” I replied; “ t he one wit h t he delicat e face is St art op.” Not m aking t he least account of “ t he one wit h t he delicat e face,” he ret urned, “ Bent ley Drum m le is his nam e, is it ? I like t he look of t hat fellow.” He im m ediat ely began t o t alk t o Drum m le: not at all det erred by his replying in his heavy ret icent way, but apparent ly led on by it t o screw discourse out of him . I was looking at t he t wo, when t here cam e bet ween m e and t hem , t he housekeeper, wit h t he first dish for t he t able. She was a wom an of about fort y, I supposed—but I m ay have t hought her younger t han she was. Rat her t all, of a lit he 298

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nim ble figure, ext rem ely pale, wit h large faded eyes, and a quant it y of st ream ing hair. I cannot say whet her any diseased affect ion of t he heart caused her lips t o be part ed as if she were pant ing, and her face t o bear a curious expression of suddenness and flut t er; but I know t hat I had been t o see Macbet h at t he t heat re, a night or t wo before, and t hat her face looked t o m e as if it were all dist urbed by fiery air, like t he faces I had seen rise out of t he Wit ches’ caldron. She set t he dish on, t ouched m y guardian quiet ly on t he arm wit h a finger t o not ify t hat dinner was ready, and vanished. We t ook our seat s at t he round t able, and m y guardian kept Drum m le on one side of him , while St art op sat on t he ot her. I t was a noble dish of fish t hat t he housekeeper had put on t able, and we had a j oint of equally choice m ut t on aft erwards, and t hen an equally choice bird. Sauces, wines, all t he accessories we want ed, and all of t he best , were given out by our host from his dum b- wait er; and when t hey had m ade t he circuit of t he t able, he always put t hem back again. Sim ilarly, he dealt us clean plat es and knives and forks, for each course, and dropped t hose j ust disused int o t wo basket s on t he ground by his chair. No ot her at t endant t han t he housekeeper appeared. She set on every dish; and I always saw in her face, a face rising out of t he caldron. Years aft erwards, I m ade a dreadful likeness of t hat wom an, by causing a face t hat had no ot her nat ural resem blance t o it t han it derived from flowing hair, t o pass behind a bowl of flam ing spirit s in a dark room . I nduced t o t ake part icular not ice of t he housekeeper, bot h by her own st riking appearance and by Wem m ick's 299

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preparat ion, I observed t hat whenever she was in t he room , she kept her eyes at t ent ively on m y guardian, and t hat she would rem ove her hands from any dish she put before him , hesit at ingly, as if she dreaded his calling her back, and want ed him t o speak when she was nigh, if he had anyt hing t o say. I fancied t hat I could det ect in his m anner a consciousness of t his, and a purpose of always holding her in suspense. Dinner went off gaily, and, alt hough m y guardian seem ed t o follow rat her t han originat e subj ect s, I knew t hat he wrenched t he weakest part of our disposit ions out of us. For m yself, I found t hat I was expressing m y t endency t o lavish expendit ure, and t o pat ronize Herbert , and t o boast of m y great prospect s, before I quit e knew t hat I had opened m y lips. I t was so wit h all of us, but wit h no one m ore t han Drum m le: t he developm ent of whose inclinat ion t o gird in a grudging and suspicious way at t he rest , was screwed out of him before t he fish was t aken off. I t was not t hen, but when we had got t o t he cheese, t hat our conversat ion t urned upon our rowing feat s, and t hat Drum m le was rallied for com ing up behind of a night in t hat slow am phibious way of his. Drum m le upon t his, inform ed our host t hat he m uch preferred our room t o our com pany, and t hat as t o skill he was m ore t han our m ast er, and t hat as t o st rengt h he could scat t er us like chaff. By som e invisible agency, m y guardian wound him up t o a pit ch lit t le short of ferocit y about t his t rifle; and he fell t o baring and spanning his arm t o show how m uscular it was, and we all fell t o baring and spanning our arm s in a ridiculous m anner. 300

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Now, t he housekeeper was at t hat t im e clearing t he t able; m y guardian, t aking no heed of her, but wit h t he side of his face t urned from her, was leaning back in his chair bit ing t he side of his forefinger and showing an int erest in Drum m le, t hat , t o m e, was quit e inexplicable. Suddenly, he clapped his large hand on t he housekeeper's, like a t rap, as she st ret ched it across t he t able. So suddenly and sm art ly did he do t his, t hat we all st opped in our foolish cont ent ion. “ I f you t alk of st rengt h,” said Mr. Jaggers, “ I 'll show you a wrist . Molly, let t hem see your wrist .” Her ent rapped hand was on t he t able, but she had already put her ot her hand behind her waist . “ Mast er,” she said, in a low voice, wit h her eyes at t ent ively and ent reat ingly fixed upon him . “ Don't .” “ I 'll show you a wrist ,” repeat ed Mr. Jaggers, wit h an im m ovable det erm inat ion t o show it . “ Molly, let t hem see your wrist .” “ Mast er,” she again m urm ured. “ Please! ” “ Molly,” said Mr. Jaggers, not looking at her, but obst inat ely looking at t he opposit e side of t he room , “ let t hem see bot h your wrist s. Show t hem . Com e! ” He t ook his hand from hers, and t urned t hat wrist up on t he t able. She brought her ot her hand from behind her, and held t he t wo out side by side. The last wrist was m uch disfigured—deeply scarred and scarred across and across. When she held her hands out , she t ook her eyes from Mr. Jaggers, and t urned t hem wat chfully on every one of t he rest of us in succession. 301

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“ There's power here,” said Mr. Jaggers, coolly t racing out t he sinews wit h his forefinger. “ Very few m en have t he power of wrist t hat t his wom an has. I t 's rem arkable what m ere force of grip t here is in t hese hands. I have had occasion t o not ice m any hands; but I never saw st ronger in t hat respect , m an's or wom an's, t han t hese.” While he said t hese words in a leisurely crit ical st yle, she cont inued t o look at every one of us in regular succession as we sat . The m om ent he ceased, she looked at him again. “ That 'll do, Molly,” said Mr. Jaggers, giving her a slight nod; “ you have been adm ired, and can go.” She wit hdrew her hands and went out of t he room , and Mr. Jaggers, put t ing t he decant ers on from his dum bwait er, filled his glass and passed round t he wine. “ At half- past nine, gent lem en,” said he, “ we m ust break up. Pray m ake t he best use of your t im e. I am glad t o see you all. Mr. Drum m le, I drink t o you.” I f his obj ect in singling out Drum m le were t o bring him out st ill m ore, it perfect ly succeeded. I n a sulky t rium ph, Drum m le showed his m orose depreciat ion of t he rest of us, in a m ore and m ore offensive degree unt il he becam e downright int olerable. Through all his st ages, Mr. Jaggers followed him wit h t he sam e st range int erest . He act ually seem ed t o serve as a zest t o Mr. Jaggers's wine. I n our boyish want of discret ion I dare say we t ook t oo m uch t o drink, and I know we t alked t oo m uch. We becam e part icularly hot upon som e boorish sneer of Drum m le's, t o t he effect t hat we were t oo free wit h our m oney. I t led t o m y rem arking, wit h m ore zeal t han discret ion, t hat it cam e wit h a 302

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bad grace from him , t o whom St art op had lent m oney in m y presence but a week or so before. “ Well,” ret ort ed Drum m le; “ he'll be paid.” “ I don't m ean t o im ply t hat he won't ,” said I , “ but it m ight m ake you hold your t ongue about us and our m oney, I should t hink.” “ You should t hink! ” ret ort ed Drum m le. “ Oh Lord! ” “ I dare say,” I went on, m eaning t o be very severe, “ t hat you wouldn't lend m oney t o any of us, if we want ed it .” “ You are right ,” said Drum m le. “ I wouldn't lend one of you a sixpence. I wouldn't lend anybody a sixpence.” “ Rat her m ean t o borrow under t hose circum st ances, I should say.” “ You should say,” repeat ed Drum m le. “ Oh Lord! ” This was so very aggravat ing—t he m ore especially as I found m yself m aking no way against his surly obt useness— t hat I said, disregarding Herbert 's effort s t o check m e: “ Com e, Mr. Drum m le, since we are on t he subj ect , I 'll t ell you what passed bet ween Herbert here and m e, when you borrowed t hat m oney.” “ I don't want t o know what passed bet ween Herbert t here and you,” growled Drum m le. And I t hink he added in a lower growl, t hat we m ight bot h go t o t he devil and shake ourselves. “ I 'll t ell you, however,” said I , “ whet her you want t o know or not . We said t hat as you put it in your pocket very glad t o get it , you seem ed t o be im m ensely am used at his being so weak as t o lend it .” 303

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Drum m le laughed out right , and sat laughing in our faces, wit h his hands in his pocket s and his round shoulders raised: plainly signifying t hat it was quit e t rue, and t hat he despised us, as asses all. Hereupon St art op t ook him in hand, t hough wit h a m uch bet t er grace t han I had shown, and exhort ed him t o be a lit t le m ore agreeable. St art op, being a lively bright young fellow, and Drum m le being t he exact opposit e, t he lat t er was always disposed t o resent him as a direct personal affront . He now ret ort ed in a coarse lum pish way, and St art op t ried t o t urn t he discussion aside wit h som e sm all pleasant ry t hat m ade us all laugh. Resent ing t his lit t le success m ore t han anyt hing, Drum m le, wit hout any t hreat or warning, pulled his hands out of his pocket s, dropped his round shoulders, swore, t ook up a large glass, and would have flung it at his adversary's head, but for our ent ert ainer's dext erously seizing it at t he inst ant when it was raised for t hat purpose. “ Gent lem en,” said Mr. Jaggers, deliberat ely put t ing down t he glass, and hauling out his gold repeat er by it s m assive chain, “ I am exceedingly sorry t o announce t hat it 's half- past nine.” On t his hint we all rose t o depart . Before we got t o t he st reet door, St art op was cheerily calling Drum m le “ old boy,” as if not hing had happened. But t he old boy was so far from responding, t hat he would not even walk t o Ham m ersm it h on t he sam e side of t he way; so, Herbert and I , who rem ained in t own, saw t hem going down t he st reet on opposit e sides; St art op leading, and Drum m le lagging behind in t he shadow of t he houses, m uch as he was wont t o follow in his boat . 304

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As t he door was not yet shut , I t hought I would leave Herbert t here for a m om ent , and run up- st airs again t o say a word t o m y guardian. I found him in his dressing- room surrounded by his st ock of boot s, already hard at it , washing his hands of us. I t old him I had com e up again t o say how sorry I was t hat anyt hing disagreeable should have occurred, and t hat I hoped he would not blam e m e m uch. “ Pooh! ” said he, sluicing his face, and speaking t hrough t he wat er- drops; “ it 's not hing, Pip. I like t hat Spider t hough.” He had t urned t owards m e now, and was shaking his head, and blowing, and t owelling him self. “ I am glad you like him , sir,” said I —" but I don't .” “ No, no,” m y guardian assent ed; “ don't have t oo m uch t o do wit h him . Keep as clear of him as you can. But I like t he fellow, Pip; he is one of t he t rue sort . Why, if I was a fort unet eller—” Looking out of t he t owel, he caught m y eye. “ But I am not a fort une- t eller,” he said, let t ing his head drop int o a fest oon of t owel, and t owelling away at his t wo ears. “ You know what I am , don't you? Good- night , Pip.” “ Good- night , sir.” I n about a m ont h aft er t hat , t he Spider's t im e wit h Mr. Pocket was up for good, and, t o t he great relief of all t he house but Mrs. Pocket , he went hom e t o t he fam ily hole.

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Chapt er 27 “ MY DEAR MR PI P, “ I writ e t his by request of Mr. Gargery, for t o let you know t hat he is going t o London in com pany wit h Mr. Wopsle and would be glad if agreeable t o be allowed t o see you. He would call at Barnard's Hot el Tuesday m orning 9 o'clock, when if not agreeable please leave word. Your poor sist er is m uch t he sam e as when you left . We t alk of you in t he kit chen every night , and wonder what you are saying and doing. I f now considered in t he light of a libert y, excuse it for t he love of poor old days. No m ore, dear Mr. Pip, from “ Your ever obliged, and affect ionat e servant , “ BI DDY.” “ P.S. He wishes m e m ost part icular t o writ e what larks. He says you will underst and. I hope and do not doubt it will be agreeable t o see him even t hough a gent lem an, for you had ever a good heart , and he is a wort hy wort hy m an. I have read him all except ing only t he last lit t le sent ence, and he wishes m e m ost part icular t o writ e again what larks.” I received t his let t er by t he post on Monday m orning, and t herefore it s appoint m ent was for next day. Let m e confess exact ly, wit h what feelings I looked forward t o Joe's com ing. Not wit h pleasure, t hough I was bound t o him by so m any t ies; no; wit h considerable dist urbance, som e m ort ificat ion, and a keen sense of incongruit y. I f I could have kept him away by paying m oney, I cert ainly would have paid m oney. My great est reassurance was, t hat he was com ing t o 306

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Barnard's I nn, not t o Ham m ersm it h, and consequent ly would not fall in Bent ley Drum m le's way. I had lit t le obj ect ion t o his being seen by Herbert or his fat her, for bot h of whom I had a respect ; but I had t he sharpest sensit iveness as t o his being seen by Drum m le, whom I held in cont em pt . So, t hroughout life, our worst weaknesses and m eannesses are usually com m it t ed for t he sake of t he people whom we m ost despise. I had begun t o be always decorat ing t he cham bers in som e quit e unnecessary and inappropriat e way or ot her, and very expensive t hose wrest les wit h Barnard proved t o be. By t his t im e, t he room s were vast ly different from what I had found t hem , and I enj oyed t he honour of occupying a few prom inent pages in t he books of a neighbouring upholst erer. I had got on so fast of lat e, t hat I had even st art ed a boy in boot s—t op boot s—in bondage and slavery t o whom I m ight have been said t o pass m y days. For, aft er I had m ade t he m onst er ( out of t he refuse of m y washerwom an's fam ily) and had clot hed him wit h a blue coat , canary waist coat , whit e cravat , cream y breeches, and t he boot s already m ent ioned, I had t o find him a lit t le t o do and a great deal t o eat ; and wit h bot h of t hose horrible requirem ent s he haunt ed m y exist ence. This avenging phant om was ordered t o be on dut y at eight on Tuesday m orning in t he hall ( it was t wo feet square, as charged for floorclot h) , and Herbert suggest ed cert ain t hings for breakfast t hat he t hought Joe would like. While I felt sincerely obliged t o him for being so int erest ed and considerat e, I had an odd half- provoked sense of suspicion upon m e, t hat if Joe had been com ing t o see him , he wouldn't have been quit e so brisk about it . 307

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However, I cam e int o t own on t he Monday night t o be ready for Joe, and I got up early in t he m orning, and caused t he sit t ingroom and breakfast - t able t o assum e t heir m ost splendid appearance. Unfort unat ely t he m orning was drizzly, and an angel could not have concealed t he fact t hat Barnard was shedding soot y t ears out side t he window, like som e weak giant of a Sweep. As t he t im e approached I should have liked t o run away, but t he Avenger pursuant t o orders was in t he hall, and present ly I heard Joe on t he st aircase. I knew it was Joe, by his clum sy m anner of com ing up- st airs—his st at e boot s being always t oo big for him —and by t he t im e it t ook him t o read t he nam es on t he ot her floors in t he course of his ascent . When at last he st opped out side our door, I could hear his finger t racing over t he paint ed let t ers of m y nam e, and I aft erwards dist inct ly heard him breat hing in at t he keyhole. Finally he gave a faint single rap, and Pepper—such was t he com prom ising nam e of t he avenging boy—announced “ Mr. Gargery! ” I t hought he never would have done wiping his feet , and t hat I m ust have gone out t o lift him off t he m at , but at last he cam e in. “ Joe, how are you, Joe?” “ Pip, how AI R you, Pip?” Wit h his good honest face all glowing and shining, and his hat put down on t he floor bet ween us, he caught bot h m y hands and worked t hem st raight up and down, as if I had been t he last pat ent ed Pum p. “ I am glad t o see you, Joe. Give m e your hat .” 308

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But Joe, t aking it up carefully wit h bot h hands, like a bird's- nest wit h eggs in it , wouldn't hear of part ing wit h t hat piece of propert y, and persist ed in st anding t alking over it in a m ost uncom fort able way. “ Which you have t hat growed,” said Joe, “ and t hat swelled, and t hat gent le- folked; ” Joe considered a lit t le before he discovered t his word; “ as t o be sure you are a honour t o your king and count ry.” “ And you, Joe, look wonderfully well.” “ Thank God,” said Joe, “ I 'm ekerval t o m ost . And your sist er, she's no worse t han she were. And Biddy, she's ever right and ready. And all friends is no backerder, if not no forarder. ‘Cept in Wopsle; he's had a drop.” All t his t im e ( st ill wit h bot h hands t aking great care of t he bird's- nest ) , Joe was rolling his eyes round and round t he room , and round and round t he flowered pat t ern of m y dressing- gown. “ Had a drop, Joe?” “ Why yes,” said Joe, lowering his voice, “ he's left t he Church, and went int o t he playact ing. Which t he playact ing have likeways brought him t o London along wit h m e. And his wish were,” said Joe, get t ing t he bird's- nest under his left arm for t he m om ent and groping in it for an egg wit h his right ; “ if no offence, as I would ‘and you t hat .” I t ook what Joe gave m e, and found it t o be t he crum pled playbill of a sm all m et ropolit an t heat re, announcing t he first appearance, in t hat very week, of “ t he celebrat ed Provincial Am at eur of Roscian renown, whose unique perform ance in t he 309

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highest t ragic walk of our Nat ional Bard has lat ely occasioned so great a sensat ion in local dram at ic circles.” “ Were you at his perform ance, Joe?” I inquired. “ I were,” said Joe, wit h em phasis and solem nit y. “ Was t here a great sensat ion?” “ Why,” said Joe, “ yes, t here cert ainly were a peck of orange- peel. Part ickler, when he see t he ghost . Though I put it t o yourself, sir, whet her it were calc'lat ed t o keep a m an up t o his work wit h a good hart , t o be cont iniwally cut t ing in bet wixt him and t he Ghost wit h “ Am en! ” A m an m ay have had a m isfort un’ and been in t he Church,” said Joe, lowering his voice t o an argum ent at ive and feeling t one, “ but t hat is no reason why you should put him out at such a t im e. Which I m eant ersay, if t he ghost of a m an's own fat her cannot be allowed t o claim his at t ent ion, what can, Sir? St ill m ore, when his m ourning “ at is unfort unat ely m ade so sm all as t hat t he weight of t he black feat hers brings it off, t ry t o keep it on how you m ay.” A ghost - seeing effect in Joe's own count enance inform ed m e t hat Herbert had ent ered t he room . So, I present ed Joe t o Herbert , who held out his hand; but Joe backed from it , and held on by t he bird's- nest . “ Your servant , Sir,” said Joe, “ which I hope as you and Pip" —here his eye fell on t he Avenger, who was put t ing som e t oast on t able, and so plainly denot ed an int ent ion t o m ake t hat young gent lem an one of t he fam ily, t hat I frowned it down and confused him m ore—" I m eant ersay, you t wo gent lem en—which I hope as you get your elt hs in t his close spot ? For t he present m ay be a werry good inn, according t o 310

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London opinions,” said Joe, confident ially, “ and I believe it s charact er do st and i; but I wouldn't keep a pig in it m yself— not in t he case t hat I wished him t o fat t en wholesom e and t o eat wit h a m eller flavour on him .” Having borne t his flat t ering t est im ony t o t he m erit s of our dwelling- place, and having incident ally shown t his t endency t o call m e “ sir,” Joe, being invit ed t o sit down t o t able, looked all round t he room for a suit able spot on which t o deposit his hat —as if it were only on som e very few rare subst ances in nat ure t hat it could find a rest ing place—and ult im at ely st ood it on an ext rem e corner of t he chim ney- piece, from which it ever aft erwards fell off at int ervals. “ Do you t ake t ea, or coffee, Mr. Gargery?” asked Herbert , who always presided of a m orning. “ Thankee, Sir,” said Joe, st iff from head t o foot , “ I 'll t ake whichever is m ost agreeable t o yourself.” “ What do you say t o coffee?” “ Thankee, Sir,” ret urned Joe, evident ly dispirit ed by t he proposal, “ since you are so kind as m ake chice of coffee, I will not run cont rairy t o your own opinions. But don't you never find it a lit t le ‘eat ing?” “ Say t ea t hen,” said Herbert , pouring it out . Here Joe's hat t um bled off t he m ant el- piece, and he st art ed out of his chair and picked it up, and fit t ed it t o t he sam e exact spot . As if it were an absolut e point of good breeding t hat it should t um ble off again soon. “ When did you com e t o t own, Mr. Gargery?” “ Were it yest erday aft ernoon?” said Joe, aft er coughing behind his hand, as if he had had t im e t o cat ch t he whooping311

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cough since he cam e. “ No it were not . Yes it were. Yes. I t were yest erday aft ernoon” ( wit h an appearance of m ingled wisdom , relief, and st rict im part ialit y) . “ Have you seen anyt hing of London, yet ?” “ Why, yes, Sir,” said Joe, “ m e and Wopsle went off st raight t o look at t he Blacking Ware'us. But we didn't find t hat it com e up t o it s likeness in t he red bills at t he shop doors; which I m eant ersay,” added Joe, in an explanat ory m anner, “ as it is t here drawd t oo archit ect ooralooral.” I really believe Joe would have prolonged t his word ( m ight ily expressive t o m y m ind of som e archit ect ure t hat I know) int o a perfect Chorus, but for his at t ent ion being provident ially at t ract ed by his hat , which was t oppling. I ndeed, it dem anded from him a const ant at t ent ion, and a quickness of eye and hand, very like t hat exact ed by wicket keeping. He m ade ext raordinary play wit h it , and showed t he great est skill; now, rushing at it and cat ching it neat ly as it dropped; now, m erely st opping it m idway, beat ing it up, and hum ouring it in various part s of t he room and against a good deal of t he pat t ern of t he paper on t he wall, before he felt it safe t o close wit h it ; finally, splashing it int o t he slop- basin, where I t ook t he libert y of laying hands upon it . As t o his shirt - collar, and his coat - collar, t hey were perplexing t o reflect upon—insoluble m yst eries bot h. Why should a m an scrape him self t o t hat ext ent , before he could consider him self full dressed? Why should he suppose it necessary t o be purified by suffering for his holiday clot hes? Then he fell int o such unaccount able fit s of m edit at ion, wit h his fork m idway bet ween his plat e and his m out h; had his 312

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eyes at t ract ed in such st range direct ions; was afflict ed wit h such rem arkable coughs; sat so far from t he t able, and dropped so m uch m ore t han he at e, and pret ended t hat he hadn't dropped it ; t hat I was heart ily glad when Herbert left us for t he cit y. I had neit her t he good sense nor t he good feeling t o know t hat t his was all m y fault , and t hat if I had been easier wit h Joe, Joe would have been easier wit h m e. I felt im pat ient of him and out of t em per wit h him ; in which condit ion he heaped coals of fire on m y head. “ Us t wo being now alone, Sir," —began Joe. “ Joe,” I int errupt ed, pet t ishly, “ how can you call m e, Sir?” Joe looked at m e for a single inst ant wit h som et hing faint ly like reproach. Ut t erly prepost erous as his cravat was, and as his collars were, I was conscious of a sort of dignit y in t he look. “ Us t wo being now alone,” resum ed Joe, “ and m e having t he int ent ions and abilit ies t o st ay not m any m inut es m ore, I will now conclude—least ways begin—t o m ent ion what have led t o m y having had t he present honour. For was it not ,” said Joe, wit h his old air of lucid exposit ion, “ t hat m y only wish were t o be useful t o you, I should not have had t he honour of breaking wit t les in t he com pany and abode of gent lem en.” I was so unwilling t o see t he look again, t hat I m ade no rem onst rance against t his t one. “ Well, Sir,” pursued Joe, “ t his is how it were. I were at t he Bargem en t 'ot her night , Pip; ” whenever he subsided int o affect ion, he called m e Pip, and whenever he relapsed int o polit eness he called m e Sir; “ when t here com e up in his shay313

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cart , Pum blechook. Which t hat sam e ident ical,” said Joe, going down a new t rack, “ do com b m y ‘air t he wrong way som et im es, awful, by giving out up and down t own as it were him which ever had your infant com panionat ion and were looked upon as a playfellow by yourself.” “ Nonsense. I t was you, Joe.” “ Which I fully believed it were, Pip,” said Joe, slight ly t ossing his head, “ t hough it signify lit t le now, Sir. Well, Pip; t his sam e ident ical, which his m anners is given t o blust erous, com e t o m e at t he Bargem en ( wot a pipe and a pint of beer do give refreshm ent t o t he working- m an, Sir, and do not over st im ilat e) , and his word were, ‘Joseph, Miss Havisham she wish t o speak t o you.'” “ Miss Havisham , Joe?” “ ‘She wish,’ were Pum blechook's word, ‘t o speak t o you.'” Joe sat and rolled his eyes at t he ceiling. “ Yes, Joe? Go on, please.” “ Next day, Sir,” said Joe, looking at m e as if I were a long way off, “ having cleaned m yself, I go and I see Miss A.” “ Miss A., Joe? Miss Havisham ?” “ Which I say, Sir,” replied Joe, wit h an air of legal form alit y, as if he were m aking his will, “ Miss A., or ot herways Havisham . Her expression air t hen as follering: ‘Mr. Gargery. You air in correspondence wit h Mr. Pip?’ Having had a let t er from you, I were able t o say ‘I am .’ ( When I m arried your sist er, Sir, I said ‘I will; ’ and when I answered your friend, Pip, I said ‘I am .') ‘Would you t ell him , t hen,’ said she, ‘t hat which Est ella has com e hom e and would be glad t o see him .'” 314

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I felt m y face fire up as I looked at Joe. I hope one rem ot e cause of it s firing, m ay have been m y consciousness t hat if I had known his errand, I should have given him m ore encouragem ent . “ Biddy,” pursued Joe, “ when I got hom e and asked her fur t o writ e t he m essage t o you, a lit t le hung back. Biddy says, “ I know he will be very glad t o have it by word of m out h, it is holidayt im e, you want t o see him , go! ” I have now concluded, Sir,” said Joe, rising from his chair, “ and, Pip, I wish you ever well and ever prospering t o a great er and a great er height h.” “ But you are not going now, Joe?” “ Yes I am ,” said Joe. “ But you are com ing back t o dinner, Joe?” “ No I am not ,” said Joe. Our eyes m et , and all t he “ Sir” m elt ed out of t hat m anly heart as he gave m e his hand. “ Pip, dear old chap, life is m ade of ever so m any part ings welded t oget her, as I m ay say, and one m an's a blacksm it h, and one's a whit esm it h, and one's a goldsm it h, and one's a coppersm it h. Diwisions am ong such m ust com e, and m ust be m et as t hey com e. I f t here's been any fault at all t o- day, it 's m ine. You and m e is not t wo figures t o be t oget her in London; nor yet anywheres else but what is privat e, and beknown, and underst ood am ong friends. I t ain't t hat I am proud, but t hat I want t o be right , as you shall never see m e no m ore in t hese clot hes. I 'm wrong in t hese clot hes. I 'm wrong out of t he forge, t he kit chen, or off t h’ m eshes. You won't find half so m uch fault in m e if you t hink of m e in m y forge dress, wit h m y ham m er in m y hand, or even m y pipe. 315

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You won't find half so m uch fault in m e if, supposing as you should ever wish t o see m e, you com e and put your head in at t he forge window and see Joe t he blacksm it h, t here, at t he old anvil, in t he old burnt apron, st icking t o t he old work. I 'm awful dull, but I hope I 've beat out som et hing nigh t he right s of t his at last . And so GOD bless you, dear old Pip, old chap, GOD bless you! ” I had not been m ist aken in m y fancy t hat t here was a sim ple dignit y in him . The fashion of his dress could no m ore com e in it s way when he spoke t hese words, t han it could com e in it s way in Heaven. He t ouched m e gent ly on t he forehead, and went out . As soon as I could recover m yself sufficient ly, I hurried out aft er him and looked for him in t he neighbouring st reet s; but he was gone.

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Chapt er 28 I t was clear t hat I m ust repair t o our t own next day, and in t he first flow of m y repent ance it was equally clear t hat I m ust st ay at Joe's. But , when I had secured m y box- place by t o- m orrow's coach and had been down t o Mr. Pocket 's and back, I was not by any m eans convinced on t he last point , and began t o invent reasons and m ake excuses for put t ing up at t he Blue Boar. I should be an inconvenience at Joe's; I was not expect ed, and m y bed would not be ready; I should be t oo far from Miss Havisham 's, and she was exact ing and m ight n't like it . All ot her swindlers upon eart h are not hing t o t he self- swindlers, and wit h such pret ences did I cheat m yself. Surely a curious t hing. That I should innocent ly t ake a bad half- crown of som ebody else's m anufact ure, is reasonable enough; but t hat I should knowingly reckon t he spurious coin of m y own m ake, as good m oney! An obliging st ranger, under pret ence of com pact ly folding up m y banknot es for securit y's sake, abst ract s t he not es and gives m e nut shells; but what is his sleight of hand t o m ine, when I fold up m y own nut shells and pass t hem on m yself as not es! Having set t led t hat I m ust go t o t he Blue Boar, m y m ind was m uch dist urbed by indecision whet her or not t o t ake t he Avenger. I t was t em pt ing t o t hink of t hat expensive Mercenary publicly airing his boot s in t he archway of t he Blue Boar's post ing- yard; it was alm ost solem n t o im agine him casually produced in t he t ailor's shop and confounding t he disrespect ful senses of Trabb's boy. On t he ot her hand, 317

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Trabb's boy m ight worm him self int o his int im acy and t ell him t hings; or, reckless and desperat e wret ch as I knew he could be, m ight hoot him in t he High- st reet , My pat roness, t oo, m ight hear of him , and not approve. On t he whole, I resolved t o leave t he Avenger behind. I t was t he aft ernoon coach by which I had t aken m y place, and, as wint er had now com e round, I should not arrive at m y dest inat ion unt il t wo or t hree hours aft er dark. Our t im e of st art ing from t he Cross Keys was t wo o'clock. I arrived on t he ground wit h a quart er of an hour t o spare, at t ended by t he Avenger—if I m ay connect t hat expression wit h one who never at t ended on m e if he could possibly help it . At t hat t im e it was cust om ary t o carry Convict s down t o t he dockyards by st age- coach. As I had oft en heard of t hem in t he capacit y of out side passengers, and had m ore t han once seen t hem on t he high road dangling t heir ironed legs over t he coach roof, I had no cause t o be surprised when Herbert , m eet ing m e in t he yard, cam e up and t old m e t here were t wo convict s going down wit h m e. But I had a reason t hat was an old reason now, for const it ut ionally falt ering whenever I heard t he word convict . “ You don't m ind t hem , Handel?” said Herbert . “ Oh no! ” “ I t hought you seem ed as if you didn't like t hem ?” “ I can't pret end t hat I do like t hem , and I suppose you don't part icularly. But I don't m ind t hem .” “ See! There t hey are,” said Herbert , “ com ing out of t he Tap. What a degraded and vile sight it is! ” 318

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They had been t reat ing t heir guard, I suppose, for t hey had a gaoler wit h t hem , and all t hree cam e out wiping t heir m out hs on t heir hands. The t wo convict s were handcuffed t oget her, and had irons on t heir legs—irons of a pat t ern t hat I knew well. They wore t he dress t hat I likewise knew well. Their keeper had a brace of pist ols, and carried a t hickknobbed bludgeon under his arm ; but he was on t erm s of good underst anding wit h t hem , and st ood, wit h t hem beside him , looking on at t he put t ing- t o of t he horses, rat her wit h an air as if t he convict s were an int erest ing Exhibit ion not form ally open at t he m om ent , and he t he Curat or. One was a t aller and st out er m an t han t he ot her, and appeared as a m at t er of course, according t o t he m yst erious ways of t he world bot h convict and free, t o have had allot t ed t o him t he sm aller suit of clot hes. His arm s and legs were like great pincushions of t hose shapes, and his at t ire disguised him absurdly; but I knew his half- closed eye at one glance. There st ood t he m an whom I had seen on t he set t le at t he Three Jolly Bargem en on a Sat urday night , and who had brought m e down wit h his invisible gun! I t was easy t o m ake sure t hat as yet he knew m e no m ore t han if he had never seen m e in his life. He looked across at m e, and his eye appraised m y wat ch- chain, and t hen he incident ally spat and said som et hing t o t he ot her convict , and t hey laughed and slued t hem selves round wit h a clink of t heir coupling m anacle, and looked at som et hing else. The great num bers on t heir backs, as if t hey were st reet doors; t heir coarse m angy ungainly out er surface, as if t hey were lower anim als; t heir ironed legs, apologet ically garlanded wit h 319

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pocket - handkerchiefs; and t he way in which all present looked at t hem and kept from t hem ; m ade t hem ( as Herbert had said) a m ost disagreeable and degraded spect acle. But t his was not t he worst of it . I t cam e out t hat t he whole of t he back of t he coach had been t aken by a fam ily rem oving from London, and t hat t here were no places for t he t wo prisoners but on t he seat in front , behind t he coachm an. Hereupon, a choleric gent lem an, who had t aken t he fourt h place on t hat seat , flew int o a m ost violent passion, and said t hat it was a breach of cont ract t o m ix him up wit h such villainous com pany, and t hat it was poisonous and pernicious and infam ous and sham eful, and I don't know what else. At t his t im e t he coach was ready and t he coachm an im pat ient , and we were all preparing t o get up, and t he prisoners had com e over wit h t heir keeper—bringing wit h t hem t hat curious flavour of bread- poult ice, baize, rope- yarn, and heart hst one, which at t ends t he convict presence. “ Don't t ake it so m uch am iss. sir,” pleaded t he keeper t o t he angry passenger; “ I 'll sit next you m yself. I 'll put ‘em on t he out side of t he row. They won't int erfere wit h you, sir. You needn't know t hey're t here.” “ And don't blam e m e,” growled t he convict I had recognized. “ I don't want t o go. I am quit e ready t o st ay behind. As fur as I am concerned any one's welcom e t o m y place.” “ Or m ine,” said t he ot her, gruffly. “ I wouldn't have incom m oded none of you, if I 'd had m y way.” Then, t hey bot h laughed, and began cracking nut s, and spit t ing t he shells 320

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about .—As I really t hink I should have liked t o do m yself, if I had been in t heir place and so despised. At lengt h, it was vot ed t hat t here was no help for t he angry gent lem an, and t hat he m ust eit her go in his chance com pany or rem ain behind. So, he got int o his place, st ill m aking com plaint s, and t he keeper got int o t he place next him , and t he convict s hauled t hem selves up as well as t hey could, and t he convict I had recognized sat behind m e wit h his breat h on t he hair of m y head. “ Good- bye, Handel! ” Herbert called out as we st art ed. I t hought what a blessed fort une it was, t hat he had found anot her nam e for m e t han Pip. I t is im possible t o express wit h what acut eness I felt t he convict 's breat hing, not only on t he back of m y head, but all along m y spine. The sensat ion was like being t ouched in t he m arrow wit h som e pungent and searching acid, it set m y very t eet h on edge. He seem ed t o have m ore breat hing business t o do t han anot her m an, and t o m ake m ore noise in doing it ; and I was conscious of growing high- shoulderd on one side, in m y shrinking endeavours t o fend him off. The weat her was m iserably raw, and t he t wo cursed t he cold. I t m ade us all let hargic before we had gone far, and when we had left t he Half- way House behind, we habit ually dozed and shivered and were silent . I dozed off, m yself, in considering t he quest ion whet her I ought t o rest ore a couple of pounds st erling t o t his creat ure before losing sight of him , and how it could best be done. I n t he act of dipping forward as if I were going t o bat he am ong t he horses, I woke in a fright and t ook t he quest ion up again. 321

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But I m ust have lost it longer t han I had t hought , since, alt hough I could recognize not hing in t he darkness and t he fit ful light s and shadows of our lam ps, I t raced m arsh count ry in t he cold dam p wind t hat blew at us. Cowering forward for warm t h and t o m ake m e a screen against t he wind, t he convict s were closer t o m e t han before. They very first words I heard t hem int erchange as I becam e conscious were t he words of m y own t hought , “ Two One Pound not es.” “ How did he get ‘em ?” said t he convict I had never seen. “ How should I know?” ret urned t he ot her. “ He had ‘em st owed away som ehows. Giv him by friends, I expect .” “ I wish,” said t he ot her, wit h a bit t er curse upon t he cold, “ t hat I had ‘em here.” “ Two one pound not es, or friends?” “ Two one pound not es. I 'd sell all t he friends I ever had, for one, and t hink it a blessed good bargain. Well? So he says—?” “ So he says,” resum ed t he convict I had recognized—" it was all said and done in half a m inut e, behind a pile of t im ber in t he Dockyard—'You're a- going t o be discharged?’ Yes, I was. Would I find out t hat boy t hat had fed him and kep his secret , and give him t hem t wo one pound not es? Yes, I would. And I did.” “ More fool you,” growled t he ot her. “ I 'd have spent ‘em on a Man, in wit t les and drink. He m ust have been a green one. Mean t o say he knowed not hing of you?” “ Not a ha'port h. Different gangs and different ships. He was t ried again for prison breaking, and got m ade a Lifer.” 322

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“ And was t hat —Honour! —t he only t im e you worked out , in t his part of t he count ry?” “ The only t im e.” “ What m ight have been your opinion of t he place?” “ A m ost beast ly place. Mudbank, m ist , swam p, and work; work, swam p, m ist , and m udbank.” They bot h execrat ed t he place in very st rong language, and gradually growled t hem selves out , and had not hing left t o say. Aft er overhearing t his dialogue, I should assuredly have got down and been left in t he solit ude and darkness of t he highway, but for feeling cert ain t hat t he m an had no suspicion of m y ident it y. I ndeed, I was not only so changed in t he course of nat ure, but so different ly dressed and so different ly circum st anced, t hat it was not at all likely he could have known m e wit hout accident al help. St ill, t he coincidence of our being t oget her on t he coach, was sufficient ly st range t o fill m e wit h a dread t hat som e ot her coincidence m ight at any m om ent connect m e, in his hearing, wit h m y nam e. For t his reason, I resolved t o alight as soon as we t ouched t he t own, and put m yself out of his hearing. This device I execut ed successfully. My lit t le port m ant eau was in t he boot under m y feet ; I had but t o t urn a hinge t o get it out : I t hrew it down before m e, got down aft er it , and was left at t he first lam p on t he first st ones of t he t own pavem ent . As t o t he convict s, t hey went t heir way wit h t he coach, and I knew at what point t hey would be spirit ed off t o t he river. I n m y fancy, I saw t he boat wit h it s convict crew wait ing for t hem at t he slim ewashed st airs,—again heard t he gruff “ Give way, you! ” like 323

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and order t o dogs—again saw t he wicked Noah's Ark lying out on t he black wat er. I could not have said what I was afraid of, for m y fear was alt oget her undefined and vague, but t here was great fear upon m e. As I walked on t o t he hot el, I felt t hat a dread, m uch exceeding t he m ere apprehension of a painful or disagreeable recognit ion, m ade m e t rem ble. I am confident t hat it t ook no dist inct ness of shape, and t hat it was t he revival for a few m inut es of t he t error of childhood. The coffee- room at t he Blue Boar was em pt y, and I had not only ordered m y dinner t here, but had sat down t o it , before t he wait er knew m e. As soon as he had apologized for t he rem issness of his m em ory, he asked m e if he should send Boot s for Mr. Pum blechook? “ No,” said I , “ cert ainly not .” The wait er ( it was he who had brought up t he Great Rem onst rance from t he Com m ercials, on t he day when I was bound) appeared surprised, and t ook t he earliest opport unit y of put t ing a dirt y old copy of a local newspaper so direct ly in m y way, t hat I t ook it up and read t his paragraph: Our readers will learn, not alt oget her wit hout int erest , in reference t o t he recent rom ant ic rise in fort une of a young art ificer in iron of t his neighbourhood ( what a t hem e, by t he way, for t he m agic pen of our as yet not universally acknowledged t ownsm an TOOBY, t he poet of our colum ns! ) t hat t he yout h's earliest pat ron, com panion, and friend, was a highly- respect ed individual not ent irely unconnect ed wit h t he corn and seed t rade, and whose em inent ly convenient and com m odious business prem ises are sit uat e wit hin a hundred 324

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m iles of t he High- st reet . I t is not wholly irrespect ive of our personal feelings t hat we record HI M as t he Ment or of our young Telem achus, for it is good t o know t hat our t own produced t he founder of t he lat t er's fort unes. Does t he t hought cont ract ed brow of t he local Sage or t he lust rous eye of local Beaut y inquire whose fort unes? We believe t hat Quint in Mat sys was t he BLACKSMI TH of Ant werp. VERB. SAP. I ent ert ain a convict ion, based upon large experience, t hat if in t he days of m y prosperit y I had gone t o t he Nort h Pole, I should have m et som ebody t here, wandering Esquim aux or civilized m an, who would have t old m e t hat Pum blechook was m y earliest pat ron and t he founder of m y fort unes.

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Chapt er 29 Bet im es in t he m orning I was up and out . I t was t oo early yet t o go t o Miss Havisham 's, so I loit ered int o t he count ry on Miss Havisham 's side of t own—which was not Joe's side; I could go t here t o- m orrow—t hinking about m y pat roness, and paint ing brilliant pict ures of her plans for m e. She had adopt ed Est ella, she had as good as adopt ed m e, and it could not fail t o be her int ent ion t o bring us t oget her. She reserved it for m e t o rest ore t he desolat e house, adm it t he sunshine int o t he dark room s, set t he clocks a- going and t he cold heart hs a- blazing, t ear down t he cobwebs, dest roy t he verm in—in short , do all t he shining deeds of t he young Knight of rom ance, and m arry t he Princess. I had st opped t o look at t he house as I passed; and it s seared red brick walls, blocked windows, and st rong green ivy clasping even t he st acks of chim neys wit h it s t wigs and t endons, as if wit h sinewy old arm s, had m ade up a rich at t ract ive m yst ery, of which I was t he hero. Est ella was t he inspirat ion of it , and t he heart of it , of course. But , t hough she had t aken such st rong possession of m e, t hough m y fancy and m y hope were so set upon her, t hough her influence on m y boyish life and charact er had been all- powerful, I did not , even t hat rom ant ic m orning, invest her wit h any at t ribut es save t hose she possessed. I m ent ion t his in t his place, of a fixed purpose, because it is t he clue by which I am t o be followed int o m y poor labyrint h. According t o m y experience, t he convent ional not ion of a lover cannot be always t rue. The unqualified t rut h 326

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is, t hat when I loved Est ella wit h t he love of a m an, I loved her sim ply because I found her irresist ible. Once for all; I knew t o m y sorrow, oft en and oft en, if not always, t hat I loved her against reason, against prom ise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragem ent t hat could be. Once for all; I loved her none t he less because I knew it , and it had no m ore influence in rest raining m e, t han if I had devout ly believed her t o be hum an perfect ion. I so shaped out m y walk as t o arrive at t he gat e at m y old t im e. When I had rung at t he bell wit h an unst eady hand, I t urned m y back upon t he gat e, while I t ried t o get m y breat h and keep t he beat ing of m y heart m oderat ely quiet . I heard t he side door open, and st eps com e across t he court - yard; but I pret ended not t o hear, even when t he gat e swung on it s rust y hinges. Being at last t ouched on t he shoulder, I st art ed and t urned. I st art ed m uch m ore nat urally t hen, t o find m yself confront ed by a m an in a sober grey dress. The last m an I should have expect ed t o see in t hat place of port er at Miss Havisham 's door. “ Orlick! ” “ Ah, young m ast er, t here's m ore changes t han yours. But com e in, com e in. I t 's opposed t o m y orders t o hold t he gat e open.” I ent ered and he swung it , and locked it , and t ook t he key out . “ Yes! ” said he, facing round, aft er doggedly preceding m e a few st eps t owards t he house. “ Here I am ! ” “ How did you com e here?” 327

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“ I com e her,” he ret ort ed, “ on m y legs. I had m y box brought alongside m e in a barrow.” “ Are you here for good?” “ I ain't her for harm , young m ast er, I suppose?” I was not so sure of t hat . I had leisure t o ent ert ain t he ret ort in m y m ind, while he slowly lift ed his heavy glance from t he pavem ent , up m y legs and arm s, t o m y face. “ Then you have left t he forge?” I said. “ Do t his look like a forge?” replied Orlick, sending his glance all round him wit h an air of inj ury. “ Now, do it look like it ?” I asked him how long he had left Gargery's forge? “ One day is so like anot her here,” he replied, “ t hat I don't know wit hout cast ing it up. However, I com e her som e t im e since you left .” “ I could have t old you t hat , Orlick.” “ Ah! ” said he, drily. “ But t hen you've got t o be a scholar.” By t his t im e we had com e t o t he house, where I found his room t o be one j ust wit hin t he side door, wit h a lit t le window in it looking on t he court - yard. I n it s sm all proport ions, it was not unlike t he kind of place usually assigned t o a gat e- port er in Paris. Cert ain keys were hanging on t he wall, t o which he now added t he gat e- key; and his pat chwork- covered bed was in a lit t le inner division or recess. The whole had a slovenly confined and sleepy look, like a cage for a hum an dorm ouse: while he, loom ing dark and heavy in t he shadow of a corner by t he window, looked like t he hum an dorm ouse for whom it was fit t ed up—as indeed he was. 328

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“ I never saw t his room before,” I rem arked; “ but t here used t o be no Port er here.” “ No,” said he; “ not t ill it got about t hat t here was no prot ect ion on t he prem ises, and it com e t o be considered dangerous, wit h convict s and Tag and Rag and Bobt ail going up and down. And t hen I was recom m ended t o t he place as a m an who could give anot her m an as good as he brought , and I t ook it . I t 's easier t han bellowsing and ham m ering.—That 's loaded, t hat is.” My eye had been caught by a gun wit h a brass bound st ock over t he chim ney- piece, and his eye had followed m ine. “ Well,” said I , not desirous of m ore conversat ion, “ shall I go up t o Miss Havisham ?” “ Burn m e, if I know! ” he ret ort ed, first st ret ching him self and t hen shaking him self; “ m y orders ends here, young m ast er. I give t his here bell a rap wit h t his here ham m er, and you go on along t he passage t ill you m eet som ebody.” “ I am expect ed, I believe?” “ Burn m e t wice over, if I can say! ” said he. Upon t hat , I t urned down t he long passage which I had first t rodden in m y t hick boot s, and he m ade his bell sound. At t he end of t he passage, while t he bell was st ill reverberat ing, I found Sarah Pocket : who appeared t o have now becom e const it ut ionally green and yellow by reason of m e. “ Oh! ” said she. “ You, is it , Mr. Pip?” “ I t is, Miss Pocket . I am glad t o t ell you t hat Mr. Pocket and fam ily are all well.” 329

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“ Are t hey any wiser?” said Sarah, wit h a dism al shake of t he head; “ t hey had bet t er be wiser, t han well. Ah, Mat t hew, Mat t hew! You know your way, sir?” Tolerably, for I had gone up t he st aircase in t he dark, m any a t im e. I ascended it now, in light er boot s t han of yore, and t apped in m y old way at t he door of Miss Havisham 's room . “ Pip's rap,” I heard her say, im m ediat ely; “ com e in, Pip.” She was in her chair near t he old t able, in t he old dress, wit h her t wo hands crossed on her st ick, her chin rest ing on t hem , and her eyes on t he fire. Sit t ing near her, wit h t he whit e shoe t hat had never been worn, in her hand, and her head bent as she looked at it , was an elegant lady whom I had never seen. “ Com e in, Pip,” Miss Havisham cont inued t o m ut t er, wit hout looking round or up; “ com e in, Pip, how do you do, Pip? so you kiss m y hand as if I were a queen, eh?—Well?” She looked up at m e suddenly, only m oving her eyes, and repeat ed in a grim ly playful m anner, “ Well?” “ I heard, Miss Havisham ,” said I , rat her at a loss, “ t hat you were so kind as t o wish m e t o com e and see you, and I cam e direct ly.” “ Well?” The lady whom I had never seen before, lift ed up her eyes and looked archly at m e, and t hen I saw t hat t he eyes were Est ella's eyes. But she was so m uch changed, was so m uch m ore beaut iful, so m uch m ore wom anly, in all t hings winning adm irat ion had m ade such wonderful advance, t hat I seem ed 330

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t o have m ade none. I fancied, as I looked at her, t hat I slipped hopelessly back int o t he coarse and com m on boy again. O t he sense of dist ance and disparit y t hat cam e upon m e, and t he inaccessibilit y t hat cam e about her! She gave m e her hand. I st am m ered som et hing about t he pleasure I felt in seeing her again, and about m y having looked forward t o it for a long, long t im e. “ Do you find her m uch changed, Pip?” asked Miss Havisham , wit h her greedy look, and st riking her st ick upon a chair t hat st ood bet ween t hem , as a sign t o m e t o sit down t here. “ When I cam e in, Miss Havisham , I t hought t here was not hing of Est ella in t he face or figure; but now it all set t les down so curiously int o t he old—” “ What ? You are not going t o say int o t he old Est ella?” Miss Havisham int errupt ed. “ She was proud and insult ing, and you want ed t o go away from her. Don't you rem em ber?” I said confusedly t hat t hat was long ago, and t hat I knew no bet t er t hen, and t he like. Est ella sm iled wit h perfect com posure, and said she had no doubt of m y having been quit e right , and of her having been very disagreeable. “ I s he changed?” Miss Havisham asked her. “ Very m uch,” said Est ella, looking at m e. “ Less coarse and com m on?” said Miss Havisham , playing wit h Est ella's hair. Est ella laughed, and looked at t he shoe in her hand, and laughed again, and looked at m e, and put t he shoe down. She t reat ed m e as a boy st ill, but she lured m e on. 331

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We sat in t he dream y room am ong t he old st range influences which had so wrought upon m e, and I learnt t hat she had but j ust com e hom e from France, and t hat she was going t o London. Proud and wilful as of old, she had brought t hose qualit ies int o such subj ect ion t o her beaut y t hat it was im possible and out of nat ure—or I t hought so—t o separat e t hem from her beaut y. Truly it was im possible t o dissociat e her presence from all t hose wret ched hankerings aft er m oney and gent ilit y t hat had dist urbed m y boyhood—from all t hose ill- regulat ed aspirat ions t hat had first m ade m e asham ed of hom e and Joe—from all t hose visions t hat had raised her face in t he glowing fire, st ruck it out of t he iron on t he anvil, ext ract ed it from t he darkness of night t o look in at t he wooden window of t he forge and flit away. I n a word, it was im possible for m e t o separat e her, in t he past or in t he present , from t he innerm ost life of m y life. I t was set t led t hat I should st ay t here all t he rest of t he day, and ret urn t o t he hot el at night , and t o London t om orrow. When we had conversed for a while, Miss Havisham sent us t wo out t o walk in t he neglect ed garden: on our com ing in by- and- by, she said, I should wheel her about a lit t le as in t im es of yore. So, Est ella and I went out int o t he garden by t he gat e t hrough which I had st rayed t o m y encount er wit h t he pale young gent lem an, now Herbert ; I , t rem bling in spirit and worshipping t he very hem of her dress; she, quit e com posed and m ost decidedly not worshipping t he hem of m ine. As we drew near t o t he place of encount er, she st opped and said: 332

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“ I m ust have been a singular lit t le creat ure t o hide and see t hat fight t hat day: but I did, and I enj oyed it very m uch.” “ You rewarded m e very m uch.” “ Did I ?” she replied, in an incident al and forget ful way. “ I rem em ber I ent ert ained a great obj ect ion t o your adversary, because I t ook it ill t hat he should be brought here t o pest er m e wit h his com pany.” “ He and I are great friends now.” “ Are you? I t hink I recollect t hough, t hat you read wit h his fat her?” “ Yes.” I m ade t he adm ission wit h reluct ance, for it seem ed t o have a boyish look, and she already t reat ed m e m ore t han enough like a boy. “ Since your change of fort une and prospect s, you have changed your com panions,” said Est ella. “ Nat urally,” said I . “ And necessarily,” she added, in a haught y t one; “ what was fit com pany for you once, would be quit e unfit com pany for you now.” I n m y conscience, I doubt very m uch whet her I had any lingering int ent ion left , of going t o see Joe; but if I had, t his observat ion put it t o flight . “ You had no idea of your im pending good fort une, in t hose t im es?” said Est ella, wit h a slight wave of her hand, signifying in t he fight ing t im es. “ Not t he least .” The air of com plet eness and superiorit y wit h which she walked at m y side, and t he air of yout hfulness and 333

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subm ission wit h which I walked at hers, m ade a cont rast t hat I st rongly felt . I t would have rankled in m e m ore t han it did, if I had not regarded m yself as elicit ing it by being so set apart for her and assigned t o her. The garden was t oo overgrown and rank for walking in wit h ease, and aft er we had m ade t he round of it t wice or t hrice, we cam e out again int o t he brewery yard. I showed her t o a nicet y where I had seen her walking on t he casks, t hat first old day, and she said, wit h a cold and careless look in t hat direct ion, “ Did I ?” I rem inded her where she had com e out of t he house and given m e m y m eat and drink, and she said, “ I don't rem em ber.” “ Not rem em ber t hat you m ade m e cry?” said I . “ No,” said she, and shook her head and looked about her. I verily believe t hat her not rem em bering and not m inding in t he least , m ade m e cry again, inwardly—and t hat is t he sharpest crying of all. “ You m ust know,” said Est ella, condescending t o m e as a brilliant and beaut iful wom an m ight , “ t hat I have no heart —if t hat has anyt hing t o do wit h m y m em ory.” I got t hrough som e j argon t o t he effect t hat I t ook t he libert y of doubt ing t hat . That I knew bet t er. That t here could be no such beaut y wit hout it . “ Oh! I have a heart t o be st abbed in or shot in, I have no doubt ,” said Est ella, “ and, of course, if it ceased t o beat I should cease t o be. But you know what I m ean. I have no soft ness t here, no—sym pat hy—sent im ent —nonsense.” What was it t hat was borne in upon m y m ind when she st ood st ill and looked at t ent ively at m e? Anyt hing t hat I had seen in Miss Havisham ? No. I n som e of her looks and 334

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gest ures t here was t hat t inge of resem blance t o Miss Havisham which m ay oft en be not iced t o have been acquired by children, from grown person wit h whom t hey have been m uch associat ed and secluded, and which, when childhood is passed, will produce a rem arkable occasional likeness of expression bet ween faces t hat are ot herwise quit e different . And yet I could not t race t his t o Miss Havisham . I looked again, and t hough she was st ill looking at m e, t he suggest ion was gone. What was it ? “ I am serious,” said Est ella, not so m uch wit h a frown ( for her brow was sm oot h) as wit h a darkening of her face; “ if we are t o be t hrown m uch t oget her, you had bet t er believe it at once. No! ” im periously st opping m e as I opened m y lips. “ I have not best owed m y t enderness anywhere. I have never had any such t hing.” I n anot her m om ent we were in t he brewery so long disused, and she point ed t o t he high gallery where I had seen her going out on t hat sam e first day, and t old m e she rem em bered t o have been up t here, and t o have seen m e st anding scared below. As m y eyes followed her whit e hand, again t he sam e dim suggest ion t hat I could not possibly grasp, crossed m e. My involunt ary st art occasioned her t o lay her hand upon m y arm . I nst ant ly t he ghost passed once m ore, and was gone. What was it ? “ What is t he m at t er?” asked Est ella. “ Are you scared again?” 335

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“ I should be, if I believed what you said j ust now,” I replied, t o t urn it off. “ Then you don't ? Very well. I t is said, at any rat e. Miss Havisham will soon be expect ing you at your old post , t hough I t hink t hat m ight be laid aside now, wit h ot her old belongings. Let us m ake one m ore round of t he garden, and t hen go in. Com e! You shall not shed t ears for m y cruelt y t oday; you shall be m y Page, and give m e your shoulder.” Her handsom e dress had t railed upon t he ground. She held it in one hand now, and wit h t he ot her light ly t ouched m y shoulder as we walked. We walked round t he ruined garden t wice or t hrice m ore, and it was all in bloom for m e. I f t he green and yellow growt h of weed in t he chinks of t he old wall had been t he m ost precious flowers t hat ever blew, it could not have been m ore cherished in m y rem em brance. There was no discrepancy of years bet ween us, t o rem ove her far from m e; we were of nearly t he sam e age, t hough of course t he age t old for m ore in her case t han in m ine; but t he air of inaccessibilit y which her beaut y and her m anner gave her, t orm ent ed m e in t he m idst of m y delight , and at t he height of t he assurance I felt t hat our pat roness had chosen us for one anot her. Wret ched boy! At last we went back int o t he house, and t here I heard, wit h surprise, t hat m y guardian had com e down t o see Miss Havisham on business, and would com e back t o dinner. The old wint ry branches of chandeliers in t he room where t he m ouldering t able was spread, had been light ed while we were out , and Miss Havisham was in her chair and wait ing for m e. 336

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I t was like pushing t he chair it self back int o t he past , when we began t he old slow circuit round about t he ashes of t he bridal feast . But , in t he funereal room , wit h t hat figure of t he grave fallen back in t he chair fixing it s eyes upon her, Est ella looked m ore bright and beaut iful t han before, and I was under st ronger enchant m ent . The t im e so m elt ed away, t hat our early dinner- hour drew close at hand, and Est ella left us t o prepare herself. We had st opped near t he cent re of t he long t able, and Miss Havisham , wit h one of her wit hered arm s st ret ched out of t he chair, rest ed t hat clenched hand upon t he yellow clot h. As Est ella looked back over her shoulder before going out at t he door, Miss Havisham kissed t hat hand t o her, wit h a ravenous int ensit y t hat was of it s kind quit e dreadful. Then, Est ella being gone and we t wo left alone, she t urned t o m e, and said in a whisper: “ I s she beaut iful, graceful, well- grown? Do you adm ire her?” “ Everybody m ust who sees her, Miss Havisham .” She drew an arm round m y neck, and drew m y head close down t o hers as she sat in t he chair. “ Love her, love her, love her! How does she use you?” Before I could answer ( if I could have answered so difficult a quest ion at all) , she repeat ed, “ Love her, love her, love her! I f she favours you, love her. I f she wounds you, love her. I f she t ears your heart t o pieces—and as it get s older and st ronger, it will t ear deeper—love her, love her, love her! ” Never had I seen such passionat e eagerness as was j oined t o her ut t erance of t hese words. I could feel t he m uscles of 337

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t he t hin arm round m y neck, swell wit h t he vehem ence t hat possessed her. “ Hear m e, Pip! I adopt ed her t o be loved. I bred her and educat ed her, t o be loved. I developed her int o what she is, t hat she m ight be loved. Love her! ” She said t he word oft en enough, and t here could be no doubt t hat she m eant t o say it ; but if t he oft en repeat ed word had been hat e inst ead of love—despair—revenge—dire deat h—it could not have sounded from her lips m ore like a curse. “ I 'll t ell you,” said she, in t he sam e hurried passionat e whisper, “ what real love is. I t is blind devot ion, unquest ioning self- hum iliat ion, ut t er subm ission, t rust and belief against yourself and against t he whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul t o t he sm it er—as I did! ” When she cam e t o t hat , and t o a wild cry t hat followed t hat , I caught her round t he waist . For she rose up in t he chair, in her shroud of a dress, and st ruck at t he air as if she would as soon have st ruck herself against t he wall and fallen dead. All t his passed in a few seconds. As I drew her down int o her chair, I was conscious of a scent t hat I knew, and t urning, saw m y guardian in t he room . He always carried ( I have not yet m ent ioned it , I t hink) a pocket - handkerchief of rich silk and of im posing proport ions, which was of great value t o him in his profession. I have seen him so t errify a client or a wit ness by cerem oniously unfolding t his pocket - handkerchief as if he were im m ediat ely going t o blow his nose, and t hen pausing, as if he knew he should not 338

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have t im e t o do it before such client or wit ness com m it t ed him self, t hat t he self- com m it t al has followed direct ly, quit e as a m at t er of course. When I saw him in t he room , he had t his expressive pocket handkerchief in bot h hands, and was looking at us. On m eet ing m y eye, he said plainly, by a m om ent ary and silent pause in t hat at t it ude, “ I ndeed? Singular! ” and t hen put t he handkerchief t o it s right use wit h wonderful effect . Miss Havisham had seen him as soon as I , and was ( like everybody else) afraid of him . She m ade a st rong at t em pt t o com pose herself, and st am m ered t hat he was as punct ual as ever. “ As punct ual as ever,” he repeat ed, com ing up t o us. “ ( How do you do, Pip? Shall I give you a ride, Miss Havisham ? Once round?) And so you are here, Pip?” I t old him when I had arrived, and how Miss Havisham had wished m e t o com e and see Est ella. To which he replied, “ Ah! Very fine young lady! ” Then he pushed Miss Havisham in her chair before him , wit h one of his large hands, and put t he ot her in his t rousers- pocket as if t he pocket were full of secret s. “ Well, Pip! How oft en have you seen Miss Est ella before?” said he, when he cam e t o a st op. “ How oft en?” “ Ah! How m any t im es? Ten t housand t im es?” “ Oh! Cert ainly not so m any.” “ Twice?” “ Jaggers,” int erposed Miss Havisham , m uch t o m y relief; “ leave m y Pip alone, and go wit h him t o your dinner.” 339

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He com plied, and we groped our way down t he dark st airs t oget her. While we were st ill on our way t o t hose det ached apart m ent s across t he paved yard at t he back, he asked m e how oft en I had seen Miss Havisham eat and drink; offering m e a breadt h of choice, as usual, bet ween a hundred t im es and once. I considered, and said, “ Never.” “ And never will, Pip,” he ret ort ed, wit h a frowning sm ile. “ She has never allowed herself t o be seen doing eit her, since she lived t his present life of hers. She wanders about in t he night , and t hen lays hands on such food as she t akes.” “ Pray, sir,” said I , “ m ay I ask you a quest ion?” “ You m ay,” said he, “ and I m ay decline t o answer it . Put your quest ion.” “ Est ella's nam e. I s it Havisham or—?” I had not hing t o add. “ Or what ?” said he. “ I s it Havisham ?” “ I t is Havisham .” This brought us t o t he dinner- t able, where she and Sarah Pocket await ed us. Mr. Jaggers presided, Est ella sat opposit e t o him , I faced m y green and yellow friend. We dined very well, and were wait ed on by a m aid- servant whom I had never seen in all m y com ings and goings, but who, for anyt hing I know, had been in t hat m yst erious house t he whole t im e. Aft er dinner, a bot t le of choice old port was placed before m y guardian ( he was evident ly well acquaint ed wit h t he vint age) , and t he t wo ladies left us. 340

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Anyt hing t o equal t he det erm ined ret icence of Mr. Jaggers under t hat roof, I never saw elsewhere, even in him . He kept his very looks t o him self, and scarcely direct ed his eyes t o Est ella's face once during dinner. When she spoke t o him , he list ened, and in due course answered, but never looked at her, t hat I could see. On t he ot her hand, she oft en looked at him , wit h int erest and curiosit y, if not dist rust , but his face never, showed t he least consciousness. Throughout dinner he t ook a dry delight in m aking Sarah Pocket greener and yellower, by oft en referring in conversat ion wit h m e t o m y expect at ions; but here, again, he showed no consciousness, and even m ade it appear t hat he ext ort ed—and even did ext ort , t hough I don't know how—t hose references out of m y innocent self. And when he and I were left alone t oget her, he sat wit h an air upon him of general lying by in consequence of inform at ion he possessed, t hat really was t oo m uch for m e. He cross- exam ined his very wine when he had not hing else in hand. He held it bet ween him self and t he candle, t ast ed t he port , rolled it in his m out h, swallowed it , looked at his glass again, sm elt t he port , t ried it , drank it , filled again, and crossexam ined t he glass again, unt il I was as nervous as if I had known t he wine t o be t elling him som et hing t o m y disadvant age. Three or four t im es I feebly t hought I would st art conversat ion; but whenever he saw m e going t o ask him anyt hing, he looked at m e wit h his glass in his hand, and rolling his wine about in his m out h, as if request ing m e t o t ake not ice t hat it was of no use, for he couldn't answer. 341

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I t hink Miss Pocket was conscious t hat t he sight of m e involved her in t he danger of being goaded t o m adness, and perhaps t earing off her cap—which was a very hideous one, in t he nat ure of a m uslin m op—and st rewing t he ground wit h her hair—which assuredly had never grown on her head. She did not appear when we aft erwards went up t o Miss Havisham 's room , and we four played at whist . I n t he int erval, Miss Havisham , in a fant ast ic way, had put som e of t he m ost beaut iful j ewels from her dressing- t able int o Est ella's hair, and about her bosom and arm s; and I saw even m y guardian look at her from under his t hick eyebrows, and raise t hem a lit t le, when her loveliness was before him , wit h t hose rich flushes of glit t er and colour in it . Of t he m anner and ext ent t o which he t ook our t rum ps int o cust ody, and cam e out wit h m ean lit t le cards at t he ends of hands, before which t he glory of our Kings and Queens was ut t erly abased, I say not hing; nor, of t he feeling t hat I had, respect ing his looking upon us personally in t he light of t hree very obvious and poor riddles t hat he had found out long ago. What I suffered from , was t he incom pat ibilit y bet ween his cold presence and m y feelings t owards Est ella. I t was not t hat I knew I could never bear t o speak t o him about her, t hat I knew I could never bear t o hear him creak his boot s at her, t hat I knew I could never bear t o see him wash his hands of her; it was, t hat m y adm irat ion should be wit hin a foot or t wo of him —it was, t hat m y feelings should be in t he sam e place wit h him —t hat , was t he agonizing circum st ance. We played unt il nine o'clock, and t hen it was arranged t hat when Est ella cam e t o London I should be forewarned of her 342

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com ing and should m eet her at t he coach; and t hen I t ook leave of her, and t ouched her and left her. My guardian lay at t he Boar in t he next room t o m ine. Far int o t he night , Miss Havisham 's words, “ Love her, love her, love her! ” sounded in m y ears. I adapt ed t hem for m y own repet it ion, and said t o m y pillow, “ I love her, I love her, I love her! ” hundreds of t im es. Then, a burst of grat it ude cam e upon m e, t hat she should be dest ined for m e, once t he blacksm it h's boy. Then, I t hought if she were, as I feared, by no m eans rapt urously grat eful for t hat dest iny yet , when would she begin t o be int erest ed in m e? When should I awaken t he heart wit hin her, t hat was m ut e and sleeping now? Ah m e! I t hought t hose were high and great em ot ions. But I never t hought t here was anyt hing low and sm all in m y keeping away from Joe, because I knew she would be cont em pt uous of him . I t was but a day gone, and Joe had brought t he t ears int o m y eyes; t hey had soon dried, God forgive m e! soon dried.

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Chapt er 30 Aft er well considering t he m at t er while I was dressing at t he Blue Boar in t he m orning, I resolved t o t ell m y guardian t hat I doubt ed Orlick's being t he right sort of m an t o fill a post of t rust at Miss Havisham 's. “ Why, of course he is not t he right sort of m an, Pip,” said m y guardian, com fort ably sat isfied beforehand on t he general head, “ because t he m an who fills t he post of t rust never is t he right sort of m an.” I t seem ed quit e t o put him int o spirit s, t o find t hat t his part icular post was not except ionally held by t he right sort of m an, and he list ened in a sat isfied m anner while I t old him what knowledge I had of Orlick. “ Very good, Pip,” he observed, when I had concluded, “ I 'll go round present ly, and pay our friend off.” Rat her alarm ed by t his sum m ary act ion, I was for a lit t le delay, and even hint ed t hat our friend him self m ight be difficult t o deal wit h. “ Oh no he won't ,” said m y guardian, m aking his pocket - handkerchief- point , wit h perfect confidence; “ I should like t o see him argue t he quest ion wit h m e.” As we were going back t oget her t o London by t he m id- day coach, and as I breakfast ed under such t errors of Pum blechook t hat I could scarcely hold m y cup, t his gave m e an opport unit y of saying t hat I want ed a walk, and t hat I would go on along t he London- road while Mr. Jaggers was occupied, if he would let t he coachm an know t hat I would get int o m y place when overt aken. I was t hus enabled t o fly from t he Blue Boar im m ediat ely aft er breakfast . By t hen m aking a 344

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loop of about a couple of m iles int o t he open count ry at t he back of Pum blechook's prem ises, I got round int o t he Highst reet again, a lit t le beyond t hat pit fall, and felt m yself in com parat ive securit y. I t was int erest ing t o be in t he quiet old t own once m ore, and it was not disagreeable t o be here and t here suddenly recognized and st ared aft er. One or t wo of t he t radespeople even dart ed out of t heir shops and went a lit t le way down t he st reet before m e, t hat t hey m ight t urn, as if t hey had forgot t en som et hing, and pass m e face t o face—on which occasions I don't know whet her t hey or I m ade t he worse pret ence; t hey of not doing it , or I of not seeing it . St ill m y posit ion was a dist inguished one, and I was not at all dissat isfied wit h it , unt il Fat e t hrew m e in t he way of t hat unlim it ed m iscreant , Trabb's boy. Cast ing m y eyes along t he st reet at a cert ain point of m y progress, I beheld Trabb's boy approaching, lashing him self wit h an em pt y blue bag. Deem ing t hat a serene and unconscious cont em plat ion of him would best beseem m e, and would be m ost likely t o quell his evil m ind, I advanced wit h t hat expression of count enance, and was rat her congrat ulat ing m yself on m y success, when suddenly t he knees of Trabb's boy sm ot e t oget her, his hair uprose, his cap fell off, he t rem bled violent ly in every lim b, st aggered out int o t he road, and crying t o t he populace, “ Hold m e! I 'm so fright ened! ” feigned t o be in a paroxysm of t error and cont rit ion, occasioned by t he dignit y of m y appearance. As I passed him , his t eet h loudly chat t ered in his head, and wit h 345

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every m ark of ext rem e hum iliat ion, he prost rat ed him self in t he dust . This was a hard t hing t o bear, but t his was not hing. I had not advanced anot her t wo hundred yards, when, t o m y inexpressible t error, am azem ent , and indignat ion, I again beheld Trabb's boy approaching. He was com ing round a narrow corner. His blue bag was slung over his shoulder, honest indust ry beam ed in his eyes, a det erm inat ion t o proceed t o Trabb's wit h cheerful briskness was indicat ed in his gait . Wit h a shock he becam e aware of m e, and was severely visit ed as before; but t his t im e his m ot ion was rot at ory, and he st aggered round and round m e wit h knees m ore afflict ed, and wit h uplift ed hands as if beseeching for m ercy. His sufferings were hailed wit h t he great est j oy by a knot of spect at ors, and I felt ut t erly confounded. I had not got as m uch furt her down t he st reet as t he post office, when I again beheld Trabb's boy shoot ing round by a back way. This t im e, he was ent irely changed. He wore t he blue bag in t he m anner of m y great - coat , and was st rut t ing along t he pavem ent t owards m e on t he opposit e side of t he st reet , at t ended by a com pany of delight ed young friends t o whom he from t im e t o t im e exclaim ed, wit h a wave of his hand, “ Don't know yah! ” Words cannot st at e t he am ount of aggravat ion and inj ury wreaked upon m e by Trabb's boy, when, passing abreast of m e, he pulled up his shirt - collar, t wined his side- hair, st uck an arm akim bo, and sm irked ext ravagant ly by, wriggling his elbows and body, and drawling t o his at t endant s, “ Don't know yah, don't know yah, pon m y soul don't know yah! ” The disgrace at t endant on his 346

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im m ediat ely aft erwards t aking t o crowing and pursuing m e across t he bridge wit h crows, as from an exceedingly dej ect ed fowl who had known m e when I was a blacksm it h, culm inat ed t he disgrace wit h which I left t he t own, and was, so t o speak, ej ect ed by it int o t he open count ry. But unless I had t aken t he life of Trabb's boy on t hat occasion, I really do not even now see what I could have done save endure. To have st ruggled wit h him in t he st reet , or t o have exact ed any lower recom pense from him t han his heart 's best blood, would have been fut ile and degrading. Moreover, he was a boy whom no m an could hurt ; an invulnerable and dodging serpent who, when chased int o a corner, flew out again bet ween his capt or's legs, scornfully yelping. I wrot e, however, t o Mr. Trabb by next day's post , t o say t hat Mr. Pip m ust decline t o deal furt her wit h one who could so far forget what he owed t o t he best int erest s of societ y, as t o em ploy a boy who excit ed Loat hing in every respect able m ind. The coach, wit h Mr. Jaggers inside, cam e up in due t im e, and I t ook m y box- seat again, and arrived in London safe— but not sound, for m y heart was gone. As soon as I arrived, I sent a penit ent ial codfish and barrel of oyst ers t o Joe ( as reparat ion for not having gone m yself) , and t hen went on t o Barnard's I nn. I found Herbert dining on cold m eat , and delight ed t o welcom e m e back. Having despat ched The Avenger t o t he coffee- house for an addit ion t o t he dinner, I felt t hat I m ust open m y breast t hat very evening t o m y friend and chum . As confidence was out of t he quest ion wit h The Avenger in t he 347

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hall, which could m erely be regarded in t he light of an ant echam ber t o t he keyhole, I sent him t o t he Play. A bet t er proof of t he severit y of m y bondage t o t hat t askm ast er could scarcely be afforded, t han t he degrading shift s t o which I was const ant ly driven t o find him em ploym ent . So m ean is ext rem it y, t hat I som et im es sent him t o Hyde Park Corner t o see what o'clock it was. Dinner done and we sit t ing wit h our feet upon t he fender, I said t o Herbert , “ My dear Herbert , I have som et hing very part icular t o t ell you.” “ My dear Handel,” he ret urned, “ I shall est eem and respect your confidence.” “ I t concerns m yself, Herbert ,” said I , “ and one ot her person.” Herbert crossed his feet , looked at t he fire wit h his head on one side, and having looked at it in vain for som e t im e, looked at m e because I didn't go on. “ Herbert ,” said I , laying m y hand upon his knee, “ I love—I adore—Est ella.” I nst ead of being t ransfixed, Herbert replied in an easy m at t er- ofcourse way, “ Exact ly. Well?” “ Well, Herbert ? I s t hat all you say? Well?” “ What next , I m ean?” said Herbert . “ Of course I know t hat .” “ How do you know it ?” said I . “ How do I know it , Handel? Why, from you.” “ I never t old you.” “ Told m e! You have never t old m e when you have got your hair cut , but I have had senses t o perceive it . You have 348

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always adored her, ever since I have known you. You brought your adorat ion and your port m ant eau here, t oget her. Told m e! Why, you have always t old m e all day long. When you t old m e your own st ory, you t old m e plainly t hat you began adoring her t he first t im e you saw her, when you were very young indeed.” “ Very well, t hen,” said I , t o whom t his was a new and not unwelcom e light , “ I have never left off adoring her. And she has com e back, a m ost beaut iful and m ost elegant creat ure. And I saw her yest erday. And if I adored her before, I now doubly adore her.” “ Lucky for you t hen, Handel,” said Herbert , “ t hat you are picked out for her and allot t ed t o her. Wit hout encroaching on forbidden ground, we m ay vent ure t o say t hat t here can be no doubt bet ween ourselves of t hat fact . Have you any idea yet , of Est ella's views on t he adorat ion quest ion?” I shook m y head gloom ily. “ Oh! She is t housands of m iles away, from m e,” said I . “ Pat ience, m y dear Handel: t im e enough, t im e enough. But you have som et hing m ore t o say?” “ I am asham ed t o say it ,” I ret urned, “ and yet it 's no worse t o say it t han t o t hink it . You call m e a lucky fellow. Of course, I am . I was a blacksm it h's boy but yest erday; I am — what shall I say I am —t o- day?” “ Say, a good fellow, if you want a phrase,” ret urned Herbert , sm iling, and clapping his hand on t he back of m ine, “ a good fellow, wit h im pet uosit y and hesit at ion, boldness and diffidence, act ion and dream ing, curiously m ixed in him .” 349

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I st opped for a m om ent t o consider whet her t here really was t his m ixt ure in m y charact er. On t he whole, I by no m eans recognized t he analysis, but t hought it not wort h disput ing. “ When I ask what I am t o call m yself t o- day, Herbert ,” I went on, “ I suggest what I have in m y t hought s. You say I am lucky. I know I have done not hing t o raise m yself in life, and t hat Fort une alone has raised m e; t hat is being very lucky. And yet , when I t hink of Est ella—” ( " And when don't you, you know?” Herbert t hrew in, wit h his eyes on t he fire; which I t hought kind and sym pat het ic of him .) “ —Then, m y dear Herbert , I cannot t ell you how dependent and uncert ain I feel, and how exposed t o hundreds of chances. Avoiding forbidden ground, as you did j ust now, I m ay st ill say t hat on t he const ancy of one person ( nam ing no person) all m y expect at ions depend. And at t he best , how indefinit e and unsat isfact ory, only t o know so vaguely what t hey are! ” I n saying t his, I relieved m y m ind of what had always been t here, m ore or less, t hough no doubt m ost since yest erday. “ Now, Handel,” Herbert replied, in his gay hopeful way, “ it seem s t o m e t hat in t he despondency of t he t ender passion, we are looking int o our gift - horse's m out h wit h a m agnifyingglass. Likewise, it seem s t o m e t hat , concent rat ing our at t ent ion on t he exam inat ion, we alt oget her overlook one of t he best point s of t he anim al. Didn't you t ell m e t hat your guardian, Mr. Jaggers, t old you in t he beginning, t hat you were not endowed wit h expect at ions only? And even if he had 350

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not t old you so—t hough t hat is a very large I f, I grant —could you believe t hat of all m en in London, Mr. Jaggers is t he m an t o hold his present relat ions t owards you unless he were sure of his ground?” I said I could not deny t hat t his was a st rong point . I said it ( people oft en do so, in such cases) like a rat her reluct ant concession t o t rut h and j ust ice; —as if I want ed t o deny it ! “ I should t hink it was a st rong point ,” said Herbert , “ and I should t hink you would be puzzled t o im agine a st ronger; as t o t he rest , you m ust bide your guardian's t im e, and he m ust bide his client 's t im e. You'll be one- and- t went y before you know where you are, and t hen perhaps you'll get som e furt her enlight enm ent . At all event s, you'll be nearer get t ing it , for it m ust com e at last .” “ What a hopeful disposit ion you have! ” said I , grat efully adm iring his cheery ways. “ I ought t o have,” said Herbert , “ for I have not m uch else. I m ust acknowledge, by- t he- bye, t hat t he good sense of what I have j ust said is not m y own, but m y fat her's. The only rem ark I ever heard him m ake on your st ory, was t he final one: “ The t hing is set t led and done, or Mr. Jaggers would not be in it .” And now before I say anyt hing m ore about m y fat her, or m y fat her's son, and repay confidence wit h confidence, I want t o m ake m yself seriously disagreeable t o you for a m om ent —posit ively repulsive.” “ You won't succeed,” said I . “ Oh yes I shall! ” said he. “ One, t wo, t hree, and now I am in for it . Handel, m y good fellow; ” t hough he spoke in t his light t one, he was very m uch in earnest : “ I have been 351

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t hinking since we have been t alking wit h our feet on t his fender, t hat Est ella surely cannot be a condit ion of your inherit ance, if she was never referred t o by your guardian. Am I right in so underst anding what you have t old m e, as t hat he never referred t o her, direct ly or indirect ly, in any way? Never even hint ed, for inst ance, t hat your pat ron m ight have views as t o your m arriage ult im at ely?” “ Never.” “ Now, Handel, I am quit e free from t he flavour of sour grapes, upon m y soul and honour! Not being bound t o her, can you not det ach yourself from her?—I t old you I should be disagreeable.” I t urned m y head aside, for, wit h a rush and a sweep, like t he old m arsh winds com ing up from t he sea, a feeling like t hat which had subdued m e on t he m orning when I left t he forge, when t he m ist s were solem nly rising, and when I laid m y hand upon t he village finger- post , sm ot e upon m y heart again. There was silence bet ween us for a lit t le while. “ Yes; but m y dear Handel,” Herbert went on, as if we had been t alking inst ead of silent , “ it s having been so st rongly root ed in t he breast of a boy whom nat ure and circum st ances m ade so rom ant ic, renders it very serious. Think of her bringing- up, and t hink of Miss Havisham . Think of what she is herself ( now I am repulsive and you abom inat e m e) . This m ay lead t o m iserable t hings.” “ I know it , Herbert ,” said I , wit h m y head st ill t urned away, “ but I can't help it .” “ You can't det ach yourself?” “ No. I m possible! ” 352

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“ You can't t ry, Handel?” “ No. I m possible! ” “ Well! ” said Herbert , get t ing up wit h a lively shake as if he had been asleep, and st irring t he fire; “ now I 'll endeavour t o m ake m yself agreeable again! ” So he went round t he room and shook t he curt ains out , put t he chairs in t heir places, t idied t he books and so fort h t hat were lying about , looked int o t he hall, peeped int o t he let t er- box, shut t he door, and cam e back t o his chair by t he fire: where he sat down, nursing his left leg in bot h arm s. “ I was going t o say a word or t wo, Handel, concerning m y fat her and m y fat her's son. I am afraid it is scarcely necessary for m y fat her's son t o rem ark t hat m y fat her's est ablishm ent is not part icularly brilliant in it s housekeeping.” “ There is always plent y, Herbert ,” said I : t o say som et hing encouraging. “ Oh yes! and so t he dust m an says, I believe, wit h t he st rongest approval, and so does t he m arine- st ore shop in t he back st reet . Gravely, Handel, for t he subj ect is grave enough, you know how it is, as well as I do. I suppose t here was a t im e once when m y fat her had not given m at t ers up; but if ever t here was, t he t im e is gone. May I ask you if you have ever had an opport unit y of rem arking, down in your part of t he count ry, t hat t he children of not exact ly suit able m arriages, are always m ost part icularly anxious t o be m arried?” This was such a singular quest ion, t hat I asked him in ret urn, “ I s it so?” 353

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“ I don't know,” said Herbert , “ t hat 's what I want t o know. Because it is decidedly t he case wit h us. My poor sist er Charlot t e who was next m e and died before she was fourt een, was a st riking exam ple. Lit t le Jane is t he sam e. I n her desire t o be m at rim onially est ablished, you m ight suppose her t o have passed her short exist ence in t he perpet ual cont em plat ion of dom est ic bliss. Lit t le Alick in a frock has already m ade arrangem ent s for his union wit h a suit able young person at Kew. And indeed, I t hink we are all engaged, except t he baby.” “ Then you are?” said I . “ I am ,” said Herbert ; “ but it 's a secret .” I assured him of m y keeping t he secret , and begged t o be favoured wit h furt her part iculars. He had spoken so sensibly and feelingly of m y weakness t hat I want ed t o know som et hing about his st rengt h. “ May I ask t he nam e?” I said. “ Nam e of Clara,” said Herbert . “ Live in London?” “ Yes. perhaps I ought t o m ent ion,” said Herbert , who had becom e curiously crest fallen and m eek, since we ent ered on t he int erest ing t hem e, “ t hat she is rat her below m y m ot her's nonsensical fam ily not ions. Her fat her had t o do wit h t he vict ualling of passenger- ships. I t hink he was a species of purser.” “ What is he now?” said I . “ He's an invalid now,” replied Herbert . “ Living on—?” 354

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“ On t he first floor,” said Herbert . Which was not at all what I m eant , for I had int ended m y quest ion t o apply t o his m eans. “ I have never seen him , for he has always kept his room overhead, since I have known Clara. But I have heard him const ant ly. He m akes t rem endous rows—roars, and pegs at t he floor wit h som e fright ful inst rum ent .” I n looking at m e and t hen laughing heart ily, Herbert for t he t im e recovered his usual lively m anner. “ Don't you expect t o see him ?” said I . “ Oh yes, I const ant ly expect t o see him ,” ret urned Herbert , “ because I never hear him , wit hout expect ing him t o com e t um bling t hrough t he ceiling. But I don't know how long t he raft ers m ay hold.” When he had once m ore laughed heart ily, he becam e m eek again, and t old m e t hat t he m om ent he began t o realize Capit al, it was his int ent ion t o m arry t his young lady. He added as a self- evident proposit ion, engendering low spirit s, “ But you can't m arry, you know, while you're looking about you.” As we cont em plat ed t he fire, and as I t hought what a difficult vision t o realize t his sam e Capit al som et im es was, I put m y hands in m y pocket s. A folded piece of paper in one of t hem at t ract ing m y at t ent ion, I opened it and found it t o be t he playbill I had received from Joe, relat ive t o t he celebrat ed provincial am at eur of Roscian renown. “ And bless m y heart ,” I involunt arily added aloud, “ it 's t o- night ! ” This changed t he subj ect in an inst ant , and m ade us hurriedly resolve t o go t o t he play. So, when I had pledged m yself t o com fort and abet Herbert in t he affair of his heart 355

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by all pract icable and im pract icable m eans, and when Herbert had t old m e t hat his affianced already knew m e by reput at ion and t hat I should be present ed t o her, and when we had warm ly shaken hands upon our m ut ual confidence, we blew out our candles, m ade up our fire, locked our door, and issued fort h in quest of Mr. Wopsle and Denm ark.

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Chapt er 31 On our arrival in Denm ark, we found t he king and queen of t hat count ry elevat ed in t wo arm - chairs on a kit chen- t able, holding a Court . The whole of t he Danish nobilit y were in at t endance; consist ing of a noble boy in t he wash- leat her boot s of a gigant ic ancest or, a venerable Peer wit h a dirt y face who seem ed t o have risen from t he people lat e in life, and t he Danish chivalry wit h a com b in it s hair and a pair of whit e silk legs, and present ing on t he whole a fem inine appearance. My gift ed t ownsm an st ood gloom ily apart , wit h folded arm s, and I could have wished t hat his curls and forehead had been m ore probable. Several curious lit t le circum st ances t ranspired as t he act ion proceeded. The lat e king of t he count ry not only appeared t o have been t roubled wit h a cough at t he t im e of his decease, but t o have t aken it wit h him t o t he t om b, and t o have brought it back. The royal phant om also carried a ghost ly m anuscript round it s t runcheon, t o which it had t he appearance of occasionally referring, and t hat , t oo, wit h an air of anxiet y and a t endency t o lose t he place of reference which were suggest ive of a st at e of m ort alit y. I t was t his, I conceive, which led t o t he Shade's being advised by t he gallery t o “ t urn over! " —a recom m endat ion which it t ook ext rem ely ill. I t was likewise t o be not ed of t his m aj est ic spirit t hat whereas it always appeared wit h an air of having been out a long t im e and walked an im m ense dist ance, it percept ibly cam e from a closely cont iguous wall. This 357

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occasioned it s t errors t o be received derisively. The Queen of Denm ark, a very buxom lady, t hough no doubt hist orically brazen, was considered by t he public t o have t oo m uch brass about her; her chin being at t ached t o her diadem by a broad band of t hat m et al ( as if she had a gorgeous t oot hache) , her waist being encircled by anot her, and each of her arm s by anot her, so t hat she was openly m ent ioned as “ t he ket t ledrum .” The noble boy in t he ancest ral boot s, was inconsist ent ; represent ing him self, as it were in one breat h, as an able seam an, a st rolling act or, a grave- digger, a clergym an, and a person of t he ut m ost im port ance at a Court fencing- m at ch, on t he aut horit y of whose pract ised eye and nice discrim inat ion t he finest st rokes were j udged. This gradually led t o a want of t olerat ion for him , and even—on his being det ect ed in holy orders, and declining t o perform t he funeral service—t o t he general indignat ion t aking t he form of nut s. Last ly, Ophelia was a prey t o such slow m usical m adness, t hat when, in course of t im e, she had t aken off her whit e m uslin scarf, folded it up, and buried it , a sulky m an who had been long cooling his im pat ient nose against an iron bar in t he front row of t he gallery, growled, “ Now t he baby's put t o bed let 's have supper! ” Which, t o say t he least of it , was out of keeping. Upon m y unfort unat e t ownsm an all t hese incident s accum ulat ed wit h playful effect . Whenever t hat undecided Prince had t o ask a quest ion or st at e a doubt , t he public helped him out wit h it . As for exam ple; on t he quest ion whet her ‘t was nobler in t he m ind t o suffer, som e roared yes, and som e no, and som e inclining t o bot h opinions said “ t oss 358

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up for it ; ” and quit e a Debat ing Societ y arose. When he asked what should such fellows as he do crawling bet ween eart h and heaven, he was encouraged wit h loud cries of “ Hear, hear! ” When he appeared wit h his st ocking disordered ( it s disorder expressed, according t o usage, by one very neat fold in t he t op, which I suppose t o be always got up wit h a flat iron) , a conversat ion t ook place in t he gallery respect ing t he paleness of his leg, and whet her it was occasioned by t he t urn t he ghost had given him . On his t aking t he recorders—very like a lit t le black flut e t hat had j ust been played in t he orchest ra and handed out at t he door—he was called upon unanim ously for Rule Brit annia. When he recom m ended t he player not t o saw t he air t hus, t he sulky m an said, “ And don't you do it , neit her; you're a deal worse t han him ! ” And I grieve t o add t hat peals of laught er greet ed Mr. Wopsle on every one of t hese occasions. But his great est t rials were in t he churchyard: which had t he appearance of a prim eval forest , wit h a kind of sm all ecclesiast ical wash- house on one side, and a t urnpike gat e on t he ot her. Mr. Wopsle in a com prehensive black cloak, being descried ent ering at t he t urnpike, t he gravedigger was adm onished in a friendly way, “ Look out ! Here's t he undert aker a- com ing, t o see how you're a- get t ing on wit h your work! ” I believe it is well known in a const it ut ional count ry t hat Mr. Wopsle could not possibly have ret urned t he skull, aft er m oralizing over it , wit hout dust ing his fingers on a whit e napkin t aken from his breast ; but even t hat innocent and indispensable act ion did not pass wit hout t he com m ent “ Wai- t er! ” The arrival of t he body for int erm ent ( in an em pt y 359

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black box wit h t he lid t um bling open) , was t he signal for a general j oy which was m uch enhanced by t he discovery, am ong t he bearers, of an individual obnoxious t o ident ificat ion. The j oy at t ended Mr. Wopsle t hrough his st ruggle wit h Laert es on t he brink of t he orchest ra and t he grave, and slackened no m ore unt il he had t um bled t he king off t he kit chen- t able, and had died by inches from t he ankles upward. We had m ade som e pale effort s in t he beginning t o applaud Mr. Wopsle; but t hey were t oo hopeless t o be persist ed in. Therefore we had sat , feeling keenly for him , but laughing, nevert heless, from ear t o ear. I laughed in spit e of m yself all t he t im e, t he whole t hing was so droll; and yet I had a lat ent im pression t hat t here was som et hing decidedly fine in Mr. Wopsle's elocut ion—not for old associat ions’ sake, I am afraid, but because it was very slow, very dreary, very up- hill and down- hill, and very unlike any way in which any m an in any nat ural circum st ances of life or deat h ever expressed him self about anyt hing. When t he t ragedy was over, and he had been called for and hoot ed, I said t o Herbert , “ Let us go at once, or perhaps we shall m eet him .” We m ade all t he hast e we could down- st airs, but we were not quick enough eit her. St anding at t he door was a Jewish m an wit h an unnat ural heavy sm ear of eyebrow, who caught m y eyes as we advanced, and said, when we cam e up wit h him : “ Mr. Pip and friend?” I dent it y of Mr. Pip and friend confessed. 360

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“ Mr. Waldengarver,” said t he m an, “ would be glad t o have t he honour.” “ Waldengarver?” I repeat ed—when Herbert m urm ured in m y ear, “ Probably Wopsle.” “ Oh! ” said I . “ Yes. Shall we follow you?” “ A few st eps, please.” When we were in a side alley, he t urned and asked, “ How did you t hink he looked?—I dressed him .” I don't know what he had looked like, except a funeral; wit h t he addit ion of a large Danish sun or st ar hanging round his neck by a blue ribbon, t hat had given him t he appearance of being insured in som e ext raordinary Fire Office. But I said he had looked very nice. “ When he com e t o t he grave,” said our conduct or, “ he showed his cloak beaut iful. But , j udging from t he wing, it looked t o m e t hat when he see t he ghost in t he queen's apart m ent , he m ight have m ade m ore of his st ockings.” I m odest ly assent ed, and we all fell t hrough a lit t le dirt y swing door, int o a sort of hot packing- case im m ediat ely behind it . Here Mr. Wopsle was divest ing him self of his Danish garm ent s, and here t here was j ust room for us t o look at him over one anot her's shoulders, by keeping t he packing- case door, or lid, wide open. “ Gent lem en,” said Mr. Wopsle, “ I am proud t o see you. I hope, Mr. Pip, you will excuse m y sending round. I had t he happiness t o know you in form er t im es, and t he Dram a has ever had a claim which has ever been acknowledged, on t he noble and t he affluent .” 361

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Meanwhile, Mr. Waldengarver, in a fright ful perspirat ion, was t rying t o get him self out of his princely sables. “ Skin t he st ockings off, Mr. Waldengarver,” said t he owner of t hat propert y, “ or you'll bust ‘em . Bust ‘em , and you'll bust five- and- t hirt y shillings. Shakspeare never was com plim ent ed wit h a finer pair. Keep quiet in your chair now, and leave ‘em t o m e.” Wit h t hat , he went upon his knees, and began t o flay his vict im ; who, on t he first st ocking com ing off, would cert ainly have fallen over backward wit h his chair, but for t here being no room t o fall anyhow. I had been afraid unt il t hen t o say a word about t he play. But t hen, Mr. Waldengarver looked up at us com placent ly, and said: “ Gent lem en, how did it seem t o you, t o go, in front ?” Herbert said from behind ( at t he sam e t im e poking m e) , “ capit ally.” So I said “ capit ally.” “ How did you like m y reading of t he charact er, gent lem en?” said Mr. Waldengarver, alm ost , if not quit e, wit h pat ronage. Herbert said from behind ( again poking m e) , “ m assive and concret e.” So I said boldly, as if I had originat ed it , and m ust beg t o insist upon it , “ m assive and concret e.” “ I am glad t o have your approbat ion, gent lem en,” said Mr. Waldengarver, wit h an air of dignit y, in spit e of his being ground against t he wall at t he t im e, and holding on by t he seat of t he chair. “ But I 'll t ell you one t hing, Mr. Waldengarver,” said t he m an who was on his knees, “ in which you're out in your 362

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reading. Now m ind! I don't care who says cont rairy; I t ell you so. You're out in your reading of Ham let when you get your legs in profile. The last Ham let as I dressed, m ade t he sam e m ist akes in his reading at rehearsal, t ill I got him t o put a large red wafer on each of his shins, and t hen at t hat rehearsal ( which was t he last ) I went in front , sir, t o t he back of t he pit , and whenever his reading brought him int o profile, I called out “ I don't see no wafers! ” And at night his reading was lovely.” Mr. Waldengarver sm iled at m e, as m uch as t o say “ a fait hful dependent —I overlook his folly; ” and t hen said aloud, “ My view is a lit t le classic and t hought ful for t hem here; but t hey will im prove, t hey will im prove.” Herbert and I said t oget her, Oh, no doubt t hey would im prove. “ Did you observe, gent lem en,” said Mr. Waldengarver, “ t hat t here was a m an in t he gallery who endeavoured t o cast derision on t he service—I m ean, t he represent at ion?” We basely replied t hat we rat her t hought we had not iced such a m an. I added, “ He was drunk, no doubt .” “ Oh dear no, sir,” said Mr. Wopsle, “ not drunk. His em ployer would see t o t hat , sir. His em ployer would not allow him t o be drunk.” “ You know his em ployer?” said I . Mr. Wopsle shut his eyes, and opened t hem again; perform ing bot h cerem onies very slowly. “ You m ust have observed, gent lem en,” said he, “ an ignorant and a blat ant ass, wit h a rasping t hroat and a count enance expressive of low m alignit y, who went t hrough—I will not say sust ained— 363

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t he role ( if I m ay use a French expression) of Claudius King of Denm ark. That is his em ployer, gent lem en. Such is t he profession! ” Wit hout dist inct ly knowing whet her I should have been m ore sorry for Mr. Wopsle if he had been in despair, I was so sorry for him as it was, t hat I t ook t he opport unit y of his t urning round t o have his braces put on—which j ost led us out at t he doorway—t o ask Herbert what he t hought of having him hom e t o supper? Herbert said he t hought it would be kind t o do so; t herefore I invit ed him , and he went t o Barnard's wit h us, wrapped up t o t he eyes, and we did our best for him , and he sat unt il t wo o'clock in t he m orning, reviewing his success and developing his plans. I forget in det ail what t hey were, but I have a general recollect ion t hat he was t o begin wit h reviving t he Dram a, and t o end wit h crushing it ; inasm uch as his decease would leave it ut t erly bereft and wit hout a chance or hope. Miserably I went t o bed aft er all, and m iserably t hought of Est ella, and m iserably dream ed t hat m y expect at ions were all cancelled, and t hat I had t o give m y hand in m arriage t o Herbert 's Clara, or play Ham let t o Miss Havisham 's Ghost , before t went y t housand people, wit hout knowing t went y words of it .

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Chapt er 32 One day when I was busy wit h m y books and Mr. Pocket , I received a not e by t he post , t he m ere out side of which t hrew m e int o a great flut t er; for, t hough I had never seen t he handwrit ing in which it was addressed, I divined whose hand it was. I t had no set beginning, as Dear Mr. Pip, or Dear Pip, or Dear Sir, or Dear Anyt hing, but ran t hus: “ I am t o com e t o London t he day aft er t o- m orrow by t he m id- day coach. I believe it was set t led you should m eet m e? At all event s Miss Havisham has t hat im pression, and I writ e in obedience t o it . She sends you her regard. Yours, ESTELLA.” I f t here had been t im e, I should probably have ordered several suit s of clot hes for t his occasion; but as t here was not , I was fain t o be cont ent wit h t hose I had. My appet it e vanished inst ant ly, and I knew no peace or rest unt il t he day arrived. Not t hat it s arrival brought m e eit her; for, t hen I was worse t han ever, and began haunt ing t he coach- office in wood- st reet , Cheapside, before t he coach had left t he Blue Boar in our t own. For all t hat I knew t his perfect ly well, I st ill felt as if it were not safe t o let t he coach- office be out of m y sight longer t han five m inut es at a t im e; and in t his condit ion of unreason I had perform ed t he first half- hour of a wat ch of four or five hours, when Wem m ick ran against m e. “ Halloa, Mr. Pip,” said he; “ how do you do? I should hardly have t hought t his was your beat .” 365

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I explained t hat I was wait ing t o m eet som ebody who was com ing up by coach, and I inquired aft er t he Cast le and t he Aged. “ Bot h flourishing t hankye,” said Wem m ick, “ and part icularly t he Aged. He's in wonderful feat her. He'll be eight y- t wo next birt hday. I have a not ion of firing eight y- t wo t im es, if t he neighbourhood shouldn't com plain, and t hat cannon of m ine should prove equal t o t he pressure. However, t his is not London t alk. where do you t hink I am going t o?” “ To t he office?” said I , for he was t ending in t hat direct ion. “ Next t hing t o it ,” ret urned Wem m ick, “ I am going t o Newgat e. We are in a banker's- parcel case j ust at present , and I have been down t he road t aking as squint at t he scene of act ion, and t hereupon m ust have a word or t wo wit h our client .” “ Did your client com m it t he robbery?” I asked. “ Bless your soul and body, no,” answered Wem m ick, very drily. “ But he is accused of it . So m ight you or I be. Eit her of us m ight be accused of it , you know.” “ Only neit her of us is,” I rem arked. “ Yah! ” said Wem m ick, t ouching m e on t he breast wit h his forefinger; “ you're a deep one, Mr. Pip! Would you like t o have a look at Newgat e? Have you t im e t o spare?” I had so m uch t im e t o spare, t hat t he proposal cam e as a relief, not wit hst anding it s irreconcilabilit y wit h m y lat ent desire t o keep m y eye on t he coach- office. Mut t ering t hat I would m ake t he inquiry whet her I had t im e t o walk wit h him , I went int o t he office, and ascert ained from t he clerk wit h t he nicest precision and m uch t o t he t rying of his t em per, t he 366

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earliest m om ent at which t he coach could be expect ed—which I knew beforehand, quit e as well as he. I t hen rej oined Mr. Wem m ick, and affect ing t o consult m y wat ch and t o be surprised by t he inform at ion I had received, accept ed his offer. We were at Newgat e in a few m inut es, and we passed t hrough t he lodge where som e fet t ers were hanging up on t he bare walls am ong t he prison rules, int o t he int erior of t he j ail. At t hat t im e, j ails were m uch neglect ed, and t he period of exaggerat ed react ion consequent on all public wrong- doing— and which is always it s heaviest and longest punishm ent — was st ill far off. So, felons were not lodged and fed bet t er t han soldiers ( t o say not hing of paupers) , and seldom set fire t o t heir prisons wit h t he excusable obj ect of im proving t he flavour of t heir soup. I t was visit ing t im e when Wem m ick t ook m e in; and a pot m an was going his rounds wit h beer; and t he prisoners, behind bars in yards, were buying beer, and t alking t o friends; and a frouzy, ugly, disorderly, depressing scene it was. I t st ruck m e t hat Wem m ick walked am ong t he prisoners, m uch as a gardener m ight walk am ong his plant s. This was first put int o m y head by his seeing a shoot t hat had com e up in t he night , and saying, “ What , Capt ain Tom ? Are you t here? Ah, indeed! ” and also, “ I s t hat Black Bill behind t he cist ern? Why I didn't look for you t hese t wo m ont hs; how do you find yourself?” Equally in his st opping at t he bars and at t ending t o anxious whisperers—always singly—Wem m ick wit h his post office in an im m ovable st at e, looked at t hem while in conference, as if he were t aking part icular not ice of t he 367

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advance t hey had m ade, since last observed, t owards com ing out in full blow at t heir t rial. He was highly popular, and I found t hat he t ook t he fam iliar depart m ent of Mr. Jaggers's business: t hough som et hing of t he st at e of Mr. Jaggers hung about him t oo, forbidding approach beyond cert ain lim it s. His personal recognit ion of each successive client was com prised in a nod, and in his set t ling his hat a lit t le easier on his head wit h bot h hands, and t hen t ight ening t he post office, and put t ing his hands in his pocket s. I n one or t wo inst ances, t here was a difficult y respect ing t he raising of fees, and t hen Mr. Wem m ick, backing as far as possible from t he insufficient m oney produced, said, “ it 's no use, m y boy. I 'm only a subordinat e. I can't t ake it . Don't go on in t hat way wit h a subordinat e. I f you are unable t o m ake up your quant um , m y boy, you had bet t er address yourself t o a principal; t here are plent y of principals in t he profession, you know, and what is not wort h t he while of one, m ay be wort h t he while of anot her; t hat 's m y recom m endat ion t o you, speaking as a subordinat e. Don't t ry on useless m easures. Why should you? Now, who's next ?” Thus, we walked t hrough Wem m ick's greenhouse, unt il he t urned t o m e and said, “ Not ice t he m an I shall shake hands wit h.” I should have done so, wit hout t he preparat ion, as he had shaken hands wit h no one yet . Alm ost as soon as he had spoken, a port ly upright m an ( whom I can see now, as I writ e) in a well- worn olivecoloured frock- coat , wit h a peculiar pallor over- spreading t he red in his com plexion, and eyes t hat went wandering about 368

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when he t ried t o fix t hem , cam e up t o a corner of t he bars, and put his hand t o his hat —which had a greasy and fat t y surface like cold brot h—wit h a half- serious and half- j ocose m ilit ary salut e. “ Colonel, t o you! ” said Wem m ick; “ how are you, Colonel?” “ All right , Mr. Wem m ick.” “ Everyt hing was done t hat could be done, but t he evidence was t oo st rong for us, Colonel.” “ Yes, it was t oo st rong, sir—but I don't care.” “ No, no,” said Wem m ick, coolly, “ you don't care.” Then, t urning t o m e, “ Served His Maj est y t his m an. Was a soldier in t he line and bought his discharge.” I said, “ I ndeed?” and t he m an's eyes looked at m e, and t hen looked over m y head, and t hen looked all round m e, and t hen he drew his hand across his lips and laughed. “ I t hink I shall be out of t his on Monday, sir,” he said t o Wem m ick. “ Perhaps,” ret urned m y friend, “ but t here's no knowing.” “ I am glad t o have t he chance of bidding you good- bye, Mr. Wem m ick,” said t he m an, st ret ching out his hand bet ween t wo bars. “ Thankye,” said Wem m ick, shaking hands wit h him . “ Sam e t o you, Colonel.” “ I f what I had upon m e when t aken, had been real, Mr. Wem m ick,” said t he m an, unwilling t o let his hand go, “ I should have asked t he favour of your wearing anot her ring— in acknowledgm ent of your at t ent ions.” “ I 'll accept t he will for t he deed,” said Wem m ick. “ By- t hebye; you were quit e a pigeon- fancier.” The m an looked up at 369

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t he sky. “ I am t old you had a rem arkable breed of t um blers. could you com m ission any friend of yours t o bring m e a pair, of you've no furt her use for ‘em ?” “ I t shall be done, sir?” “ All right ,” said Wem m ick, “ t hey shall be t aken care of. Good aft ernoon, Colonel. Good- bye! ” They shook hands again, and as we walked away Wem m ick said t o m e, “ A Coiner, a very good workm an. The Recorder's report is m ade t o- day, and he is sure t o be execut ed on Monday. St ill you see, as far as it goes, a pair of pigeons are port able propert y, all t he sam e.” Wit h t hat , he looked back, and nodded at t his dead plant , and t hen cast his eyes about him in walking out of t he yard, as if he were considering what ot her pot would go best in it s place. As we cam e out of t he prison t hrough t he lodge, I found t hat t he great im port ance of m y guardian was appreciat ed by t he t urnkeys, no less t han by t hose whom t hey held in charge. “ Well, Mr. Wem m ick,” said t he t urnkey, who kept us bet ween t he t wo st udded and spiked lodge gat es, and who carefully locked one before he unlocked t he ot her, “ what 's Mr. Jaggers going t o do wit h t hat wat erside m urder? I s he going t o m ake it m anslaught er, or what 's he going t o m ake of it ?” “ Why don't you ask him ?” ret urned Wem m ick. “ Oh yes, I dare say! ” said t he t urnkey. “ Now, t hat 's t he way wit h t hem here. Mr. Pip,” rem arked Wem m ick, t urning t o m e wit h his post - office elongat ed. “ They don't m ind what t hey ask of m e, t he subordinat e; but you'll never cat ch ‘em asking any quest ions of m y principal.” 370

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“ I s t his young gent lem an one of t he ‘prent ices or art icled ones of your office?” asked t he t urnkey, wit h a grin at Mr. Wem m ick's hum our. “ There he goes again, you see! ” cried Wem m ick, “ I t old you so! Asks anot her quest ion of t he subordinat e before his first is dry! Well, supposing Mr. Pip is one of t hem ?” “ Why t hen,” said t he t urnkey, grinning again, “ he knows what Mr. Jaggers is.” “ Yah! ” cried Wem m ick, suddenly hit t ing out at t he t urnkey in a facet ious way, “ you're dum b as one of your own keys when you have t o do wit h m y principal, you know you are. Let us out , you old fox, or I 'll get him t o bring an act ion against you for false im prisonm ent .” The t urnkey laughed, and gave us good day, and st ood laughing at us over t he spikes of t he wicket when we descended t he st eps int o t he st reet . “ Mind you, Mr. Pip,” said Wem m ick, gravely in m y ear, as he t ook m y arm t o be m ore confident ial; “ I don't know t hat Mr. Jaggers does a bet t er t hing t han t he way in which he keeps him self so high. He's always so high. His const ant height is of a piece wit h his im m ense abilit ies. That Colonel durst no m ore t ake leave of him , t han t hat t urnkey durst ask him his int ent ions respect ing a case. Then, bet ween his height and t hem , he slips in his subordinat e—don't you see?— and so he has ‘em , soul and body.” I was very m uch im pressed, and not for t he first t im e, by m y guardian's subt let y. To confess t he t rut h, I very heart ily wished, and not for t he first t im e, t hat I had had som e ot her guardian of m inor abilit ies. 371

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Mr. Wem m ick and I part ed at t he office in Lit t le Brit ain, where suppliant s for Mr. Jaggers's not ice were lingering about as usual, and I ret urned t o m y wat ch in t he st reet of t he coach- office, wit h som e t hree hours on hand. I consum ed t he whole t im e in t hinking how st range it was t hat I should be encom passed by all t his t aint of prison and crim e; t hat , in m y childhood out on our lonely m arshes on a wint er evening I should have first encount ered it ; t hat , it should have reappeared on t wo occasions, st art ing out like a st ain t hat was faded but not gone; t hat , it should in t his new way pervade m y fort une and advancem ent . While m y m ind was t hus engaged, I t hought of t he beaut iful young Est ella, proud and refined, com ing t owards m e, and I t hought wit h absolut e abhorrence of t he cont rast bet ween t he j ail and her. I wished t hat Wem m ick had not m et m e, or t hat I had not yielded t o him and gone wit h him , so t hat , of all days in t he year on t his day, I m ight not have had Newgat e in m y breat h and on m y clot hes. I beat t he prison dust off m y feet as I saunt ered t o and fro, and I shook it out of m y dress, and I exhaled it s air from m y lungs. So cont am inat ed did I feel, rem em bering who was com ing, t hat t he coach cam e quickly aft er all, and I was not yet free from t he soiling consciousness of Mr. Wem m ick's conservat ory, when I saw her face at t he coach window and her hand waving t o m e. What was t he nam eless shadow which again in t hat one inst ant had passed?

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Chapt er 33 I n her furred t ravelling- dress, Est ella seem ed m ore delicat ely beaut iful t han she had ever seem ed yet , even in m y eyes. Her m anner was m ore winning t han she had cared t o let it be t o m e before, and I t hought I saw Miss Havisham 's influence in t he change. We st ood in t he I nn Yard while she point ed out her luggage t o m e, and when it was all collect ed I rem em bered— having forgot t en everyt hing but herself in t he m eanwhile— t hat I knew not hing of her dest inat ion “ I am going t o Richm ond,” she t old m e. “ Our lesson is, t hat t here are t wo Richm onds, one in Surrey and one in Yorkshire, and t hat m ine is t he Surrey Richm ond. The dist ance is t en m iles. I am t o have a carriage, and you are t o t ake m e. This is m y purse, and you are t o pay m y charges out of it . Oh, you m ust t ake t he purse! We have no choice, you and I , but t o obey our inst ruct ions. We are not free t o follow our own devices, you and I .” As she looked at m e in giving m e t he purse, I hoped t here was an inner m eaning in her words. She said t hem slight ingly, but not wit h displeasure. “ A carriage will have t o be sent for, Est ella. Will you rest here a lit t le?” “ Yes, I am t o rest here a lit t le, and I am t o drink som e t ea, and you are t o t ake care of m e t he while.” She drew her arm t hrough m ine, as if it m ust be done, and I request ed a wait er who had been st aring at t he coach like a 373

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m an who had never seen such a t hing in his life, t o show us a privat e sit t ing- room . Upon t hat , he pulled out a napkin, as if it were a m agic clue wit hout which he couldn't find t he way up- st airs, and led us t o t he black hole of t he est ablishm ent : fit t ed up wit h a dim inishing m irror ( quit e a superfluous art icle considering t he hole's proport ions) , an anchovy sauce- cruet , and som ebody's pat t ens. On m y obj ect ing t o t his ret reat , he t ook us int o anot her room wit h a dinner- t able for t hirt y, and in t he grat e a scorched leaf of a copy- book under a bushel of coal- dust . Having looked at t his ext inct conflagrat ion and shaken his head, he t ook m y order: which, proving t o be m erely “ Som e t ea for t he lady,” sent him out of t he room in a very low st at e of m ind. I was, and I am , sensible t hat t he air of t his cham ber, in it s st rong com binat ion of st able wit h soup- st ock, m ight have led one t o infer t hat t he coaching depart m ent was not doing well, and t hat t he ent erprising propriet or was boiling down t he horses for t he refreshm ent depart m ent . Yet t he room was all in all t o m e, Est ella being in it . I t hought t hat wit h her I could have been happy t here for life. ( I was not at all happy t here at t he t im e, observe, and I knew it well.) “ Where are you going t o, at Richm ond?” I asked Est ella. “ I am going t o live,” said she, “ at a great expense, wit h a lady t here, who has t he power—or says she has—of t aking m e about , and int roducing m e, and showing people t o m e and showing m e t o people.” “ I suppose you will be glad of variet y and adm irat ion?” “ Yes, I suppose so.” 374

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She answered so carelessly, t hat I said, “ You speak of yourself as if you were som e one else.” “ Where did you learn how I speak of ot hers? Com e, com e,” said Est ella, sm iling delight fully, “ you m ust not expect m e t o go t o school t o you; I m ust t alk in m y own way. How do you t hrive wit h Mr. Pocket ?” “ I live quit e pleasant ly t here; at least —” I t appeared t o m e t hat I was losing a chance. “ At least ?” repeat ed Est ella. “ As pleasant ly as I could anywhere, away from you.” “ You silly boy,” said Est ella, quit e com posedly, “ how can you t alk such nonsense? Your friend Mr. Mat t hew, I believe, is superior t o t he rest of his fam ily?” “ Very superior indeed. He is nobody's enem y—” “ Don't add but his own,” int erposed Est ella, “ for I hat e t hat class of m an. But he really is disint erest ed, and above sm all j ealousy and spit e, I have heard?” “ I am sure I have every reason t o say so.” “ You have not every reason t o say so of t he rest of his people,” said Est ella, nodding at m e wit h an expression of face t hat was at once grave and rallying, “ for t hey beset Miss Havisham wit h report s and insinuat ions t o your disadvant age. They wat ch you, m isrepresent you, writ e let t ers about you ( anonym ous som et im es) , and you are t he t orm ent and t he occupat ion of t heir lives. You can scarcely realize t o yourself t he hat red t hose people feel for you.” “ They do m e no harm , I hope?” I nst ead of answering, Est ella burst out laughing. This was very singular t o m e, and I looked at her in considerable 375

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perplexit y. When she left off—and she had not laughed languidly, but wit h real enj oym ent —I said, in m y diffident way wit h her: “ I hope I m ay suppose t hat you would not be am used if t hey did m e any harm .” “ No, no you m ay be sure of t hat ,” said Est ella. “ You m ay be cert ain t hat I laugh because t hey fail. Oh, t hose people wit h Miss Havisham , and t he t ort ures t hey undergo! ” She laughed again, and even now when she had t old m e why, her laught er was very singular t o m e, for I could not doubt it s being genuine, and yet it seem ed t oo m uch for t he occasion. I t hought t here m ust really be som et hing m ore here t han I knew; she saw t he t hought in m y m ind, and answered it . “ I t is not easy for even you.” said Est ella, “ t o know what sat isfact ion it gives m e t o see t hose people t hwart ed, or what an enj oyable sense of t he ridiculous I have when t hey are m ade ridiculous. For you were not brought up in t hat st range house from a m ere baby.—I was. You had not your lit t le wit s sharpened by t heir int riguing against you, suppressed and defenceless, under t he m ask of sym pat hy and pit y and what not t hat is soft and soot hing.—I had. You did not gradually open your round childish eyes wider and wider t o t he discovery of t hat im post or of a wom an who calculat es her st ores of peace of m ind for when she wakes up in t he night .— I did.” I t was no laughing m at t er wit h Est ella now, nor was she sum m oning t hese rem em brances from any shallow place. I would not have been t he cause of t hat look of hers, for all m y expect at ions in a heap. 376

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“ Two t hings I can t ell you,” said Est ella. “ First , not wit hst anding t he proverb t hat const ant dropping will wear away a st one, you m ay set your m ind at rest t hat t hese people never will—never would, in hundred years—im pair your ground wit h Miss Havisham , in any part icular, great or sm all. Second, I am beholden t o you as t he cause of t heir being so busy and so m ean in vain, and t here is m y hand upon it .” As she gave it m e playfully—for her darker m ood had been but m om ent ary—I held it and put it t o m y lips. “ You ridiculous boy,” said Est ella, “ will you never t ake warning? Or do you kiss m y hand in t he sam e spirit in which I once let you kiss m y cheek?” “ What spirit was t hat ?” said I . “ I m ust t hink a m om ent A spirit of cont em pt for t he fawners and plot t ers.” “ I f I say yes, m ay I kiss t he cheek again?” “ You should have asked before you t ouched t he hand. But , yes, if you like.” I leaned down, and her calm face was like a st at ue's. “ Now,” said Est ella, gliding away t he inst ant I t ouched her cheek, “ you are t o t ake care t hat I have som e t ea, and you are t o t ake m e t o Richm ond.” Her revert ing t o t his t one as if our associat ion were forced upon us and we were m ere puppet s, gave m e pain; but everyt hing in our int ercourse did give m e pain. What ever her t one wit h m e happened t o be, I could put no t rust in it , and build no hope on it ; and yet I went on against t rust and 377

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against hope. Why repeat it a t housand t im es? So it always was. I rang for t he t ea, and t he wait er, reappearing wit h his m agic clue, brought in by degrees som e fift y adj unct s t o t hat refreshm ent but of t ea not a glim pse. A t eaboard, cups and saucers, plat es, knives and forks ( including carvers) , spoons ( various) , salt cellars, a m eek lit t le m uffin confined wit h t he ut m ost precaut ion under a st rong iron cover, Moses in t he bullrushes t ypified by a soft bit of but t er in a quant it y of parsley, a pale loaf wit h a powdered head, t wo proof im pressions of t he bars of t he kit chen fire- place on t riangular bit s of bread, and ult im at ely a fat fam ily urn: which t he wait er st aggered in wit h, expressing in his count enance burden and suffering. Aft er a prolonged absence at t his st age of t he ent ert ainm ent , he at lengt h cam e back wit h a casket of precious appearance cont aining t wigs. These I st eeped in hot wat er, and so from t he whole of t hese appliances ext ract ed one cup of I don't know what , for Est ella. The bill paid, and t he wait er rem em bered, and t he ost ler not forgot t en, and t he cham berm aid t aken int o considerat ion—in a word, t he whole house bribed int o a st at e of cont em pt and anim osit y, and Est ella's purse m uch light ened—we got int o our post - coach and drove away. Turning int o Cheapside and rat t ling up Newgat e- st reet , we were soon under t he walls of which I was so asham ed. “ What place is t hat ?” Est ella asked m e. I m ade a foolish pret ence of not at first recognizing it , and t hen t old her. As she looked at it , and drew in her head again, 378

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m urm uring “ Wret ches! ” I would not have confessed t o m y visit for any considerat ion. “ Mr. Jaggers,” said I , by way of put t ing it neat ly on som ebody else, “ has t he reput at ion of being m ore in t he secret s of t hat dism al place t han any m an in London.” “ He is m ore in t he secret s of every place, I t hink,” said Est ella, in a low voice. “ You have been accust om ed t o see him oft en, I suppose?” “ I have been accust om ed t o see him at uncert ain int ervals, ever since I can rem em ber. But I know him no bet t er now, t han I did before I could speak plainly. What is your own experience of him ? Do you advance wit h him ?” “ Once habit uat ed t o his dist rust ful m anner,” said I , “ I have done very well.” “ Are you int im at e?” “ I have dined wit h him at his privat e house.” “ I fancy,” said Est ella, shrinking “ t hat m ust be a curious place.” “ I t is a curious place.” I should have been chary of discussing m y guardian t oo freely even wit h her; but I should have gone on wit h t he subj ect so far as t o describe t he dinner in Gerrard- st reet , if we had not t hen com e int o a sudden glare of gas. I t seem ed, while it last ed, t o be all alight and alive wit h t hat inexplicable feeling I had had before; and when we were out of it , I was as m uch dazed for a few m om ent s as if I had been in Light ning. So, we fell int o ot her t alk, and it was principally about t he way by which we were t ravelling, and about what part s of 379

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London lay on t his side of it , and what on t hat . The great cit y was alm ost new t o her, she t old m e, for she had never left Miss Havisham 's neighbourhood unt il she had gone t o France, and she had m erely passed t hrough London t hen in going and ret urning. I asked her if m y guardian had any charge of her while she rem ained here? To t hat she em phat ically said “ God forbid! ” and no m ore. I t was im possible for m e t o avoid seeing t hat she cared t o at t ract m e; t hat she m ade herself winning; and would have w on m e even if t he t ask had needed pains. Yet t his m ade m e none t he happier, for, even if she had not t aken t hat t one of our being disposed of by ot hers, I should have felt t hat she held m y heart in her hand because she wilfully chose t o do it , and not because it would have wrung any t enderness in her, t o crush it and t hrow it away. When we passed t hrough Ham m ersm it h, I showed her where Mr. Mat t hew Pocket lived, and said it was no great way from Richm ond, and t hat I hoped I should see her som et im es. “ Oh yes, you are t o see m e; you are t o com e when you t hink proper; you are t o be m ent ioned t o t he fam ily; indeed you are already m ent ioned.” I inquired was it a large household she was going t o be a m em ber of? “ No; t here are only t wo; m ot her and daught er. The m ot her is a lady of som e st at ion, t hough not averse t o increasing her incom e.” “ I wonder Miss Havisham could part wit h you again so soon.” 380

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“ I t is a part of Miss Havisham 's plans for m e, Pip,” said Est ella, wit h a sigh, as if she were t ired; “ I am t o writ e t o her const ant ly and see her regularly and report how I go on—I and t he j ewels—for t hey are nearly all m ine now.” I t was t he first t im e she had ever called m e by m y nam e. Of course she did so, purposely, and knew t hat I should t reasure it up. We cam e t o Richm ond all t oo soon, and our dest inat ion t here, was a house by t he Green; a st aid old house, where hoops and powder and pat ches, em broidered coat s rolled st ockings ruffles and swords, had had t heir court days m any a t im e. Som e ancient t rees before t he house were st ill cut int o fashions as form al and unnat ural as t he hoops and wigs and st iff skirt s; but t heir own allot t ed places in t he great procession of t he dead were not far off, and t hey would soon drop int o t hem and go t he silent way of t he rest . A bell wit h an old voice—which I dare say in it s t im e had oft en said t o t he house, Here is t he green fart hingale, Here is t he diam ondhilt ed sword, Here are t he shoes wit h red heels and t he blue solit aire,—sounded gravely in t he m oonlight , and t wo cherrycoloured m aids cam e flut t ering out t o receive Est ella. The doorway soon absorbed her boxes, and she gave m e her hand and a sm ile, and said good night , and was absorbed likewise. And st ill I st ood looking at t he house, t hinking how happy I should be if I lived t here wit h her, and knowing t hat I never was happy wit h her, but always m iserable. I got int o t he carriage t o be t aken back t o Ham m ersm it h, and I got in wit h a bad heart - ache, and I got out wit h a worse 381

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heart - ache. At our own door, I found lit t le Jane Pocket com ing hom e from a lit t le part y escort ed by her lit t le lover; and I envied her lit t le lover, in spit e of his being subj ect t o Flopson. Mr. Pocket was out lect uring; for, he was a m ost delight ful lect urer on dom est ic econom y, and his t reat ises on t he m anagem ent of children and servant s were considered t he very best t ext - books on t hose t hem es. But , Mrs. Pocket was at hom e, and was in a lit t le difficult y, on account of t he baby's having been accom m odat ed wit h a needle- case t o keep him quiet during t he unaccount able absence ( wit h a relat ive in t he Foot Guards) of Millers. And m ore needles were m issing, t han it could be regarded as quit e wholesom e for a pat ient of such t ender years eit her t o apply ext ernally or t o t ake as a t onic. Mr. Pocket being j ust ly celebrat ed for giving m ost excellent pract ical advice, and for having a clear and sound percept ion of t hings and a highly j udicious m ind, I had som e not ion in m y heart ache of begging him t o accept m y confidence. But , happening t o look up at Mrs. Pocket as she sat reading her book of dignit ies aft er prescribing Bed as a sovereign rem edy for baby, I t hought —Well—No, I wouldn't .

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Chapt er 34 As I had grown accust om ed t o m y expect at ions, I had insensibly begun t o not ice t heir effect upon m yself and t hose around m e. Their influence on m y own charact er, I disguised from m y recognit ion as m uch as possible, but I knew very well t hat it was not all good. I lived in a st at e of chronic uneasiness respect ing m y behaviour t o Joe. My conscience was not by any m eans com fort able about Biddy. When I woke up in t he night —like Cam illa—I used t o t hink, wit h a weariness on m y spirit s, t hat I should have been happier and bet t er if I had never seen Miss Havisham 's face, and had risen t o m anhood cont ent t o be part ners wit h Joe in t he honest old forge. Many a t im e of an evening, when I sat alone looking at t he fire, I t hought , aft er all, t here was no fire like t he forge fire and t he kit chen fire at hom e. Yet Est ella was so inseparable from all m y rest lessness and disquiet of m ind, t hat I really fell int o confusion as t o t he lim it s of m y own part in it s product ion. That is t o say, supposing I had had no expect at ions, and yet had had Est ella t o t hink of, I could not m ake out t o m y sat isfact ion t hat I should have done m uch bet t er. Now, concerning t he influence of m y posit ion on ot hers, I was in no such difficult y, and so I perceived—t hough dim ly enough perhaps—t hat it was not beneficial t o anybody, and, above all, t hat it was not beneficial t o Herbert . My lavish habit s led his easy nat ure int o expenses t hat he could not afford, corrupt ed t he sim plicit y of his life, and dist urbed his peace wit h anxiet ies and regret s. I 383

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was not at all rem orseful for having unwit t ingly set t hose ot her branches of t he Pocket fam ily t o t he poor art s t hey pract ised: because such lit t lenesses were t heir nat ural bent , and would have been evoked by anybody else, if I had left t hem slum bering. But Herbert 's was a very different case, and it oft en caused m e a t winge t o t hink t hat I had done him evil service in crowding his sparely- furnished cham bers wit h incongruous upholst ery work, and placing t he canarybreast ed Avenger at his disposal. So now, as an infallible way of m aking lit t le ease great ease, I began t o cont ract a quant it y of debt . I could hardly begin but Herbert m ust begin t oo, so he soon followed. At St art op's suggest ion, we put ourselves down for elect ion int o a club called The Finches of t he Grove: t he obj ect of which inst it ut ion I have never divined, if it were not t hat t he m em bers should dine expensively once a fort night , t o quarrel am ong t hem selves as m uch as possible aft er dinner, and t o cause six wait ers t o get drunk on t he st airs. I Know t hat t hese grat ifying social ends were so invariably accom plished, t hat Herbert and I underst ood not hing else t o be referred t o in t he first st anding t oast of t he societ y: which ran “ Gent lem en, m ay t he present prom ot ion of good feeling ever reign predom inant am ong t he Finches of t he Grove.” The Finches spent t heir m oney foolishly ( t he Hot el we dined at was in Covent - garden) , and t he first Finch I saw, when I had t he honour of j oining t he Grove, was Bent ley Drum m le: at t hat t im e floundering about t own in a cab of his own, and doing a great deal of dam age t o t he post s at t he st reet corners. Occasionally, he shot him self out of his 384

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equipage head- forem ost over t he apron; and I saw him on one occasion deliver him self at t he door of t he Grove in t his unint ent ional way—like coals. But here I ant icipat e a lit t le for I was not a Finch, and could not be, according t o t he sacred laws of t he societ y, unt il I cam e of age. I n m y confidence in m y own resources, I would willingly have t aken Herbert 's expenses on m yself; but Herbert was proud, and I could m ake no such proposal t o him . So, he got int o difficult ies in every direct ion, and cont inued t o look about him . When we gradually fell int o keeping lat e hours and lat e com pany, I not iced t hat he looked about him wit h a desponding eye at breakfast - t im e; t hat he began t o look about him m ore hopefully about m id- day; t hat he drooped when he cam e int o dinner; t hat he seem ed t o descry Capit al in t he dist ance rat her clearly, aft er dinner; t hat he all but realized Capit al t owards m idnight ; and t hat at about t wo o'clock in t he m orning, he becam e so deeply despondent again as t o t alk of buying a rifle and going t o Am erica, wit h a general purpose of com pelling buffaloes t o m ake his fort une. I was usually at Ham m ersm it h about half t he week, and when I was at Ham m ersm it h I haunt ed Richm ond: whereof separat ely by- and- by. Herbert would oft en com e t o Ham m ersm it h when I was t here, and I t hink at t hose seasons his fat her would occasionally have som e passing percept ion t hat t he opening he was looking for, had not appeared yet . But in t he general t um bling up of t he fam ily, his t um bling out in life som ewhere, was a t hing t o t ransact it self som ehow. I n t he m eant im e Mr. Pocket grew greyer, and t ried oft ener t o lift him self out of his perplexit ies by t he hair. While Mrs. Pocket 385

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t ripped up t he fam ily wit h her foot st ool, read her book of dignit ies, lost her pocket - handkerchief, t old us about her grandpapa, and t aught t he young idea how t o shoot , by shoot ing it int o bed whenever it at t ract ed her not ice. As I am now generalizing a period of m y life wit h t he obj ect of clearing m y way before m e, I can scarcely do so bet t er t han by at once com plet ing t he descript ion of our usual m anners and cust om s at Barnard's I nn. We spent as m uch m oney as we could, and got as lit t le for it as people could m ake up t heir m inds t o give us. We were always m ore or less m iserable, and m ost of our acquaint ance were in t he sam e condit ion. There was a gay fict ion am ong us t hat we were const ant ly enj oying ourselves, and a skelet on t rut h t hat we never did. To t he best of m y belief, our case was in t he last aspect a rat her com m on one. Every m orning, wit h an air ever new, Herbert went int o t he Cit y t o look about him . I oft en paid him a visit in t he dark back- room in which he consort ed wit h an ink- j ar, a hat - peg, a coal- box, a st ring- box, an alm anack, a desk and st ool, and a ruler; and I do not rem em ber t hat I ever saw him do anyt hing else but look about him . I f we all did what we undert ake t o do, as fait hfully as Herbert did, we m ight live in a Republic of t he Virt ues. He had not hing else t o do, poor fellow, except at a cert ain hour of every aft ernoon t o “ go t o Lloyd's" —in observance of a cerem ony of seeing his principal, I t hink. He never did anyt hing else in connexion wit h Lloyd's t hat I could find out , except com e back again. When he felt his case unusually serious, and t hat he posit ively m ust find an opening, he would go on ‘Change at a busy t im e, and walk in 386

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and out , in a kind of gloom y count ry dance figure, am ong t he assem bled m agnat es. “ For,” says Herbert t o m e, com ing hom e t o dinner on one of t hose special occasions, “ I find t he t rut h t o be, Handel, t hat an opening won't com e t o one, but one m ust go t o it —so I have been.” I f we had been less at t ached t o one anot her, I t hink we m ust have hat ed one anot her regularly every m orning. I det est ed t he cham bers beyond expression at t hat period of repent ance, and could not endure t he sight of t he Avenger's livery: which had a m ore expensive and a less rem unerat ive appearance t hen, t han at any ot her t im e in t he four- andt went y hours. As we got m ore and m ore int o debt breakfast becam e a hollower and hollower form , and, being on one occasion at breakfast - t im e t hreat ened ( by let t er) wit h legal proceedings, “ not unwholly unconnect ed,” as m y local paper m ight put it , “ wit h j ewellery,” I went so far as t o seize t he Avenger by his blue collar and shake him off his feet —so t hat he was act ually in t he air, like a boot ed Cupid—for presum ing t o suppose t hat we want ed a roll. At cert ain t im es—m eaning at uncert ain t im es, for t hey depended on our hum our—I would say t o Herbert , as if it were a rem arkable discovery: “ My dear Herbert , we are get t ing on badly.” “ My dear Handel,” Herbert would say t o m e, in all sincerit y, if you will believe m e, t hose very words were on m y lips, by a st range coincidence.” “ Then, Herbert ,” I would respond, “ let us look int o out affairs.” 387

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We always derived profound sat isfact ion from m aking an appoint m ent for t his purpose. I always t hought t his was business, t his was t he way t o confront t he t hing, t his was t he way t o t ake t he foe by t he t hroat . And I know Herbert t hought so t oo. We ordered som et hing rat her special for dinner, wit h a bot t le of som et hing sim ilarly out of t he com m on way, in order t hat our m inds m ight be fort ified for t he occasion, and we m ight com e well up t o t he m ark. Dinner over, we produced a bundle of pens, a copious supply of ink, and a goodly show of writ ing and blot t ing paper. For, t here was som et hing very com fort able in having plent y of st at ionery. I would t hen t ake a sheet of paper, and writ e across t he t op of it , in a neat hand, t he heading, “ Mem orandum of Pip's debt s; ” wit h Barnard's I nn and t he dat e very carefully added. Herbert would also t ake a sheet of paper, and writ e across it wit h sim ilar form alit ies, “ Mem orandum of Herbert 's debt s.” Each of us would t hen refer t o a confused heap of papers at his side, which had been t hrown int o drawers, worn int o holes in Pocket s, half- burnt in light ing candles, st uck for weeks int o t he looking- glass, and ot herwise dam aged. The sound of our pens going, refreshed us exceedingly, insom uch t hat I som et im es found it difficult t o dist inguish bet ween t his edifying business proceeding and act ually paying t he m oney. I n point of m erit orious charact er, t he t wo t hings seem ed about equal. When we had writ t en a lit t le while, I would ask Herbert how he got on? Herbert probably would have been scrat ching 388

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his head in a m ost rueful m anner at t he sight of his accum ulat ing figures. “ They are m ount ing up, Handel,” Herbert would say; “ upon m y life, t hey are m ount ing up.” “ Be firm , Herbert ,” I would ret ort , plying m y own pen wit h great assiduit y. “ Look t he t hing in t he face. Look int o your affairs. St are t hem out of count enance.” “ So I would, Handel, only t hey are st aring m e out of count enance.” However, m y det erm ined m anner would have it s effect , and Herbert would fall t o work again. Aft er a t im e he would give up once m ore, on t he plea t hat he had not got Cobbs's bill, or Lobbs's, or Nobbs's, as t he case m ight be. “ Then, Herbert , est im at e; est im at e it in round num bers, and put it down.” “ What a fellow of resource you are! ” m y friend would reply, wit h adm irat ion. “ Really your business powers are very rem arkable.” I t hought so t oo. I est ablished wit h m yself on t hese occasions, t he reput at ion of a first - rat e m an of business— prom pt , decisive, energet ic, clear, cool- headed. When I had got all m y responsibilit ies down upon m y list , I com pared each wit h t he bill, and t icked it off. My self- approval when I t icked an ent ry was quit e a luxurious sensat ion. When I had no m ore t icks t o m ake, I folded all m y bills up uniform ly, docket ed each on t he back, and t ied t he whole int o a sym m et rical bundle. Then I did t he sam e for Herbert ( who m odest ly said he had not m y adm inist rat ive genius) , and felt t hat I had brought his affairs int o a focus for him . 389

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My business habit s had one ot her bright feat ure, which i called “ leaving a Margin.” For exam ple; supposing Herbert 's debt s t o be one hundred and sixt y- four pounds four- andt wopence, I would say, “ Leave a m argin, and put t hem down at t wo hundred.” Or, supposing m y own t o be four t im es as m uch, I would leave a m argin, and put t hem down at seven hundred. I had t he highest opinion of t he wisdom of t his sam e Margin, but I am bound t o acknowledge t hat on looking back, I deem it t o have been an expensive device. For, we always ran int o new debt im m ediat ely, t o t he full ext ent of t he m argin, and som et im es, in t he sense of freedom and solvency it im part ed, got pret t y far on int o anot her m argin. But t here was a calm , a rest , a virt uous hush, consequent on t hese exam inat ions of our affairs t hat gave m e, for t he t im e, an adm irable opinion of m yself. Soot hed by m y exert ions, m y m et hod, and Herbert 's com plim ent s, I would sit wit h his sym m et rical bundle and m y own on t he t able before m e am ong t he st at ionary, and feel like a Bank of som e sort , rat her t han a privat e individual. We shut our out er door on t hese solem n occasions, in order t hat we m ight not be int errupt ed. I had fallen int o m y serene st at e one evening, when we heard a let t er dropped t hrough t he slit in t he said door, and fall on t he ground. “ I t 's for you, Handel,” said Herbert , going out and com ing back wit h it , “ and I hope t here is not hing t he m at t er.” This was in allusion t o it s heavy black seal and border. The let t er was signed TRABB & CO., and it s cont ent s were sim ply, t hat I was an honoured sir, and t hat t hey begged t o inform m e t hat Mrs. J. Gargery had depart ed t his life on 390

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Monday last , at t went y m inut es past six in t he evening, and t hat m y at t endance was request ed at t he int erm ent on Monday next at t hree o'clock in t he aft ernoon.

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Chapt er 35 I t was t he first t im e t hat a grave had opened in m y road of life, and t he gap it m ade in t he sm oot h ground was wonderful. The figure of m y sist er in her chair by t he kit chen fire, haunt ed m e night and day. That t he place could possibly be, wit hout her, was som et hing m y m ind seem ed unable t o com pass; and whereas she had seldom or never been in m y t hought s of lat e, I had now t he st rangest ideas t hat she was com ing t owards m e in t he st reet , or t hat she would present ly knock at t he door. I n m y room s t oo, wit h which she had never been at all associat ed, t here was at once t he blankness of deat h and a perpet ual suggest ion of t he sound of her voice or t he t urn of her face or figure, as if she were st ill alive and had been oft en t here. What ever m y fort unes m ight have been, I could scarcely have recalled m y sist er wit h m uch t enderness. But I suppose t here is a shock of regret which m ay exist wit hout m uch t enderness. Under it s influence ( and perhaps t o m ake up for t he want of t he soft er feeling) I was seized wit h a violent indignat ion against t he assailant from whom she had suffered so m uch; and I felt t hat on sufficient proof I could have revengefully pursued Orlick, or any one else, t o t he last ext rem it y. Having writ t en t o Joe, t o offer consolat ion, and t o assure him t hat I should com e t o t he funeral, I passed t he int erm ediat e days in t he curious st at e of m ind I have glanced 392

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at . I went down early in t he m orning, and alight ed at t he Blue Boar in good t im e t o walk over t o t he forge. I t was fine sum m er weat her again, and, as I walked along, t he t im es when I was a lit t le helpless creat ure, and m y sist er did not spare m e, vividly ret urned. But t hey ret urned wit h a gent le t one upon t hem t hat soft ened even t he edge of Tickler. For now, t he very breat h of t he beans and clover whispered t o m y heart t hat t he day m ust com e when it would be well for m y m em ory t hat ot hers walking in t he sunshine should be soft ened as t hey t hought of m e. At last I cam e wit hin sight of t he house, and saw t hat Trabb and Co. had put in a funereal execut ion and t aken possession. Two dism ally absurd persons, each ost ent at iously exhibit ing a crut ch done up in a black bandage—as if t hat inst rum ent could possibly com m unicat e any com fort t o anybody—were post ed at t he front door; and in one of t hem I recognized a post boy discharged from t he Boar for t urning a young couple int o a sawpit on t heir bridal m orning, in consequence of int oxicat ion rendering it necessary for him t o ride his horse clasped round t he neck wit h bot h arm s. All t he children of t he village, and m ost of t he wom en, were adm iring t hese sable warders and t he closed windows of t he house and forge; and as I cam e up, one of t he t wo warders ( t he post boy) knocked at t he door—im plying t hat I was far t oo m uch exhaust ed by grief, t o have st rengt h rem aining t o knock for m yself. Anot her sable warder ( a carpent er, who had once eat en t wo geese for a wager) opened t he door, and showed m e int o t he best parlour. Here, Mr. Trabb had t aken unt o him self t he 393

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best t able, and had got all t he leaves up, and was holding a kind of black Bazaar, wit h t he aid of a quant it y of black pins. At t he m om ent of m y arrival, he had j ust finished put t ing som ebody's hat int o black long- clot hes, like an African baby; so he held out his hand for m ine. But I , m isled by t he act ion, and confused by t he occasion, shook hands wit h him wit h every t est im ony of warm affect ion. Poor dear Joe, ent angled in a lit t le black cloak t ied in a large bow under his chin, was seat ed apart at t he upper end of t he room ; where, as chief m ourner, he had evident ly been st at ioned by Trabb. When I bent down and said t o him , “ Dear Joe, how are you?” he said, “ Pip, old chap, you knowed her when she were a fine figure of a—” and clasped m y hand and said no m ore. Biddy, looking very neat and m odest in her black dress, went quiet ly here and t here, and was very helpful. When I had spoken t o Biddy, as I t hought it not a t im e for t alking I went and sat down near Joe, and t here began t o wonder in what part of t he house it —she—m y sist er—was. The air of t he parlour being faint wit h t he sm ell of sweet cake, I looked about for t he t able of refreshm ent s; it was scarcely visible unt il one had got accust om ed t o t he gloom , but t here was a cut - up plum - cake upon it , and t here were cut - up oranges, and sandwiches, and biscuit s, and t wo decant ers t hat I knew very well as ornam ent s, but had never seen used in all m y life; one full of port , and one of sherry. St anding at t his t able, I becam e conscious of t he servile Pum blechook in a black cloak and several yards of hat band, who was alt ernat ely st uffing him self, and m aking obsequious m ovem ent s t o cat ch 394

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m y at t ent ion. The m om ent he succeeded, he cam e over t o m e ( breat hing sherry and crum bs) , and said in a subdued voice, “ May I , dear sir?” and did. I t hen descried Mr. and Mrs. Hubble; t he last - nam ed in a decent speechless paroxysm in a corner. We were all going t o “ follow,” and were all in course of being t ied up separat ely ( by Trabb) int o ridiculous bundles. “ Which I m eant ersay, Pip,” Joe whispered m e, as we were being what Mr. Trabb called “ form ed” in t he parlour, t wo and t wo—and it was dreadfully like a preparat ion for som e grim kind of dance; “ which I m eant ersay, sir, as I would in preference have carried her t o t he church m yself, along wit h t hree or four friendly ones wot com e t o it wit h willing hart s and arm s, but it were considered wot t he neighbours would look down on such and would be of opinions as it were want ing in respect .” “ Pocket - handkerchiefs out , all! ” cried Mr. Trabb at t his point , in a depressed business- like voice. “ Pocket handkerchiefs out ! We are ready! ” So, we all put our pocket - handkerchiefs t o our faces, as if our noses were bleeding, and filed out t wo and t wo; Joe and I ; Biddy and Pum blechook; Mr. and Mrs. Hubble. The rem ains of m y poor sist er had been brought round by t he kit chen door, and, it being a point of Undert aking cerem ony t hat t he six bearers m ust be st ifled and blinded under a horrible black velvet housing wit h a whit e border, t he whole looked like a blind m onst er wit h t welve hum an legs, shuffling and blundering along, under t he guidance of t wo keepers—t he post boy and his com rade. 395

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The neighbourhood, however, highly approved of t hese arrangem ent s, and we were m uch adm ired as we went t hrough t he village; t he m ore yout hful and vigorous part of t he com m unit y m aking dashes now and t hen t o cut us off, and lying in wait t o int ercept us at point s of vant age. At such t im es t he m ore exuberant am ong t hem called out in an excit ed m anner on our em ergence round som e corner of expect ancy, “ Here t hey com e! ” “ Here t hey are! ” and we were all but cheered. I n t his progress I was m uch annoyed by t he abj ect Pum blechook, who, being behind m e, persist ed all t he way as a delicat e at t ent ion in arranging m y st ream ing hat band, and sm oot hing m y cloak. My t hought s were furt her dist ract ed by t he excessive pride of Mr. and Mrs. Hubble, who were surpassingly conceit ed and vainglorious in being m em bers of so dist inguished a procession. And now, t he range of m arshes lay clear before us, wit h t he sails of t he ships on t he river growing out of it ; and we went int o t he churchyard, close t o t he graves of m y unknown parent s, Philip Pirrip, lat e of t his parish, and Also Georgiana, Wife of t he Above. And t here, m y sist er was laid quiet ly in t he eart h while t he larks sang high above it , and t he light wind st rewed it wit h beaut iful shadows of clouds and t rees. Of t he conduct of t he worldly- m inded Pum blechook while t his was doing, I desire t o say no m ore t han it was all addressed t o m e; and t hat even when t hose noble passages were read which rem ind hum anit y how it brought not hing int o t he world and can t ake not hing out , and how it fleet h like a shadow and never cont inuet h long in one st ay, I heard him cough a reservat ion of t he case of a young gent lem an who 396

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cam e unexpect edly int o large propert y. When we got back, he had t he hardihood t o t ell m e t hat he wished m y sist er could have known I had done her so m uch honour, and t o hint t hat she would have considered it reasonably purchased at t he price of her deat h. Aft er t hat , he drank all t he rest of t he sherry, and Mr. Hubble drank t he port , and t he t wo t alked ( which I have since observed t o be cust om ary in such cases) as if t hey were of quit e anot her race from t he deceased, and were not oriously im m ort al. Finally, he went away wit h Mr. and Mrs. Hubble—t o m ake an evening of it , I felt sure, and t o t ell t he Jolly Bargem en t hat he was t he founder of m y fort unes and m y earliest benefact or. When t hey were all gone, and when Trabb and his m en— but not his boy: I looked for him —had cram m ed t heir m um m ery int o bags, and were gone t oo, t he house felt wholesom er. Soon aft erwards, Biddy, Joe, and I , had a cold dinner t oget her; but we dined in t he best parlour, not in t he old kit chen, and Joe was so exceedingly part icular what he did wit h his knife and fork and t he salt cellar and what not , t hat t here was great rest raint upon us. But aft er dinner, when I m ade him t ake his pipe, and when I had loit ered wit h him about t he forge, and when we sat down t oget her on t he great block of st one out side it , we got on bet t er. I not iced t hat aft er t he funeral Joe changed his clot hes so far, as t o m ake a com prom ise bet ween his Sunday dress and working dress: in which t he dear fellow looked nat ural, and like t he Man he was. He was very m uch pleased by m y asking if I m ight sleep in m y own lit t le room , and I was pleased t oo; for, I felt t hat I 397

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had done rat her a great t hing in m aking t he request . When t he shadows of evening were closing in, I t ook an opport unit y of get t ing int o t he garden wit h Biddy for a lit t le t alk. “ Biddy,” said I , “ I t hink you m ight have writ t en t o m e about t hese sad m at t ers.” “ Do you, Mr. Pip?” said Biddy. “ I should have writ t en if I had t hought t hat .” “ Don't suppose t hat I m ean t o be unkind, Biddy, when I say I consider t hat you ought t o have t hought t hat .” “ Do you, Mr. Pip?” She was so quiet , and had such an orderly, good, and pret t y way wit h her, t hat I did not like t he t hought of m aking her cry again. Aft er looking a lit t le at her downcast eyes as she walked beside m e, I gave up t hat point . “ I suppose it will be difficult for you t o rem ain here now, Biddy dear?” “ Oh! I can't do so, Mr. Pip,” said Biddy, in a t one of regret , but st ill of quiet convict ion. “ I have been speaking t o Mrs. Hubble, and I am going t o her t o- m orrow. I hope we shall be able t o t ake som e care of Mr. Gargery, t oget her, unt il he set t les down.” “ How are you going t o live, Biddy? I f you want any m o—” “ How am I going t o live?” repeat ed Biddy, st riking in, wit h a m om ent ary flush upon her face. “ I 'll t ell you, Mr. Pip. I am going t o t ry t o get t he place of m ist ress in t he new school nearly finished here. I can be well recom m ended by all t he neighbours, and I hope I can be indust rious and pat ient , and t each m yself while I t each ot hers. You know, Mr. Pip,” pursued Biddy, wit h a sm ile, as she raised her eyes t o m y 398

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face, “ t he new schools are not like t he old, but I learnt a good deal from you aft er t hat t im e, and have had t im e since t hen t o im prove.” “ I t hink you would always im prove, Biddy, under any circum st ances.” “ Ah! Except in m y bad side of hum an nat ure,” m urm ured Biddy. I t was not so m uch a reproach, as an irresist ible t hinking aloud. Well! I t hought I would give up t hat point t oo. So, I walked a lit t le furt her wit h Biddy, looking silent ly at her downcast eyes. “ I have not heard t he part iculars of m y sist er's deat h, Biddy.” “ They are very slight , poor t hing. She had been in one of her bad st at es—t hough t hey had got bet t er of lat e, rat her t han worse—for four days, when she cam e out of it in t he evening, j ust at t eat im e, and said quit e plainly, ‘Joe.’ As she had never said any word for a long while, I ran and fet ched in Mr. Gargery from t he forge. She m ade signs t o m e t hat she want ed him t o sit down close t o her, and want ed m e t o put her arm s round his neck. So I put t hem round his neck, and she laid her head down on his shoulder quit e cont ent and sat isfied. And so she present ly said ‘Joe’ again, and once ‘Pardon,’ and once ‘Pip.’ And so she never lift ed her head up any m ore, and it was j ust an hour lat er when we laid it down on her own bed, because we found she was gone.” Biddy cried; t he darkening garden, and t he lane, and t he st ars t hat were com ing out , were blurred in m y own sight . “ Not hing was ever discovered, Biddy?” 399

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“ Not hing.” “ Do you know what is becom e of Orlick?” “ I should t hink from t he colour of his clot hes t hat he is working in t he quarries.” “ Of course you have seen him t hen?—Why are you looking at t hat dark t ree in t he lane?” “ I saw him t here, on t he night she died.” “ That was not t he last t im e eit her, Biddy?” “ No; I have seen him t here, since we have been walking here.—I t is of no use,” said Biddy, laying her hand upon m y arm , as I was for running out , “ you know I would not deceive you; he was not t here a m inut e, and he is gone.” I t revived m y ut m ost indignat ion t o find t hat she was st ill pursued by t his fellow, and I felt invet erat e against him . I t old her so, and t old her t hat I would spend any m oney or t ake any pains t o drive him out of t hat count ry. By degrees she led m e int o m ore t em perat e t alk, and she t old m e how Joe loved m e, and how Joe never com plained of anyt hing—she didn't say, of m e; she had no need; I knew what she m eant —but ever did his dut y in his way of life, wit h a st rong hand, a quiet t ongue, and a gent le heart . “ I ndeed, it would be hard t o say t oo m uch for him ,” said I ; “ and Biddy, we m ust oft en speak of t hese t hings, for of course I shall be oft en down here now. I am not going t o leave poor Joe alone.” Biddy said never a single word. “ Biddy, don't you hear m e?” “ Yes, Mr. Pip.” 400

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“ Not t o m ent ion your calling m e Mr. Pip—which appears t o m e t o be in bad t ast e, Biddy—what do you m ean?” “ What do I m ean?” asked Biddy, t im idly. “ Biddy,” said I , in a virt uously self- assert ing m anner, “ I m ust request t o know what you m ean by t his?” “ By t his?” said Biddy. “ Now, don't echo,” I ret ort ed. “ You used not t o echo, Biddy.” “ Used not ! ” said Biddy. “ O Mr. Pip! Used! ” Well! I rat her t hought I would give up t hat point t oo. Aft er anot her silent t urn in t he garden, I fell back on t he m ain posit ion. “ Biddy,” said I , “ I m ade a rem ark respect ing m y com ing down here oft en, t o see Joe, which you received wit h a m arked silence. Have t he goodness, Biddy, t o t ell m e why.” “ Are you quit e sure, t hen, t hat you WI LL com e t o see him oft en?” asked Biddy, st opping in t he narrow garden walk, and looking at m e under t he st ars wit h a clear and honest eye. “ Oh dear m e! ” said I , as if I found m yself com pelled t o give up Biddy in despair. “ This really is a very bad side of hum an nat ure! Don't say any m ore, if you please, Biddy. This shocks m e very m uch.” For which cogent reason I kept Biddy at a dist ance during supper, and, when I went up t o m y own old lit t le room , t ook as st at ely a leave of her as I could, in m y m urm uring soul, deem reconcilable wit h t he churchyard and t he event of t he day. As oft en as I was rest less in t he night , and t hat was every quart er of an hour, I reflect ed what an unkindness, what an inj ury, what an inj ust ice, Biddy had done m e. 401

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Early in t he m orning, I was t o go. Early in t he m orning, I was out , and looking in, unseen, at one of t he wooden windows of t he forge. There I st ood, for m inut es, looking at Joe, already at work wit h a glow of healt h and st rengt h upon his face t hat m ade it show as if t he bright sun of t he life in st ore for him were shining on it . “ Good- bye, dear Joe! —No, don't wipe it off—for God's sake, give m e your blackened hand! —I shall be down soon, and oft en.” “ Never t oo soon, sir,” said Joe, “ and never t oo oft en, Pip! ” Biddy was wait ing for m e at t he kit chen door, wit h a m ug of new m ilk and a crust of bread. “ Biddy,” said I , when I gave her m y hand at part ing, “ I am not angry, but I am hurt .” “ No, don't be hurt ,” she pleaded quit e pat het ically; “ let only m e be hurt , if I have been ungenerous.” Once m ore, t he m ist s were rising as I walked away. I f t hey disclosed t o m e, as I suspect t hey did, t hat I should not com e back, and t hat Biddy was quit e right , all I can say is—t hey were quit e right t oo.

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Chapt er 36 Herbert and I went on from bad t o worse, in t he way of increasing our debt s, looking int o our affairs, leaving Margins, and t he like exem plary t ransact ions; and Tim e went on, whet her or no, as he has a way of doing; and I cam e of age— in fulfilm ent of Herbert 's predict ion, t hat I should do so before I knew where I was. Herbert him self had com e of age, eight m ont hs before m e. As he had not hing else t han his m aj orit y t o com e int o, t he event did not m ake a profound sensat ion in Barnard's I nn. But we had looked forward t o m y one- and- t went iet h birt hday, wit h a crowd of speculat ions and ant icipat ions, for we had bot h considered t hat m y guardian could hardly help saying som et hing definit e on t hat occasion. I had t aken care t o have it well underst ood in Lit t le Brit ain, when m y birt hday was. On t he day before it , I received an official not e from Wem m ick, inform ing m e t hat Mr. Jaggers would be glad if I would call upon him at five in t he aft ernoon of t he auspicious day. This convinced us t hat som et hing great was t o happen, and t hrew m e int o an unusual flut t er when I repaired t o m y guardian's office, a m odel of punct ualit y. I n t he out er office Wem m ick offered m e his congrat ulat ions, and incident ally rubbed t he side of his nose wit h a folded piece of t issuepaper t hat I liked t he look of. But he said not hing respect ing it , and m ot ioned m e wit h a nod int o m y guardian's room . I t was Novem ber, and m y guardian 403

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was st anding before his fire leaning his back against t he chim ney- piece, wit h his hands under his coat t ails. “ Well, Pip,” said he, “ I m ust call you Mr. Pip t o- day. Congrat ulat ions, Mr. Pip.” We shook hands—he was always a rem arkably short shaker—and I t hanked him . “ Take a chair, Mr. Pip,” said m y guardian. As I sat down, and he preserved his at t it ude and bent his brows at his boot s, I felt at a disadvant age, which rem inded m e of t hat old t im e when I had been put upon a t om bst one. The t wo ghast ly cast s on t he shelf were not far from him , and t heir expression was as if t hey were m aking a st upid apoplect ic at t em pt t o at t end t o t he conversat ion. “ Now m y young friend,” m y guardian began, as if I were a wit ness in t he box, “ I am going t o have a word or t wo wit h you.” “ I f you please, sir.” “ What do you suppose,” said Mr. Jaggers, bending forward t o look at t he ground, and t hen t hrowing his head back t o look at t he ceiling, “ what do you suppose you are living at t he rat e of?” “ At t he rat e of, sir?” “ At ,” repeat ed Mr. Jaggers, st ill looking at t he ceiling, “ t he—rat e—of?” And t hen looked all round t he room , and paused wit h his pocket - handkerchief in his hand, half way t o his nose. I had looked int o m y affairs so oft en, t hat I had t horoughly dest royed any slight not ion I m ight ever have had of t heir bearings. Reluct ant ly, I confessed m yself quit e unable t o 404

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answer t he quest ion. This reply seem ed agreeable t o Mr. Jaggers, who said, “ I t hought so! ” and blew his nose wit h an air of sat isfact ion. “ Now, I have asked you a quest ion, m y friend,” said Mr. Jaggers. “ Have you anyt hing t o ask m e?” “ Of course it would be a great relief t o m e t o ask you several quest ions, sir; but I rem em ber your prohibit ion.” “ Ask one,” said Mr. Jaggers. “ I s m y benefact or t o be m ade known t o m e t o- day?” “ No. Ask anot her.” “ I s t hat confidence t o be im part ed t o m e soon?” “ Waive t hat , a m om ent ,” said Mr. Jaggers, “ and ask anot her.” I looked about m e, but t here appeared t o be now no possible escape from t he inquiry, “ Have—I —anyt hing t o receive, sir?” On t hat , Mr. Jaggers said, t rium phant ly, “ I t hought we should com e t o it ! ” and called t o Wem m ick t o give him t hat piece of paper. Wem m ick appeared, handed it in, and disappeared. “ Now, Mr. Pip,” said Mr. Jaggers, “ at t end, if you please. You have been drawing pret t y freely here; your nam e occurs pret t y oft en in Wem m ick's cash- book; but you are in debt , of course?” “ I am afraid I m ust say yes, sir.” “ You know you m ust say yes; don't you?” said Mr. Jaggers. “ Yes, sir.” “ I don't ask you what you owe, because you don't know; and if you did know, you wouldn't t ell m e; you would say less. Yes, yes, m y friend,” cried Mr. Jaggers, waving his forefinger 405

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t o st op m e, as I m ade a show of prot est ing: “ it 's likely enough t hat you t hink you wouldn't , but you would. You'll excuse m e, but I know bet t er t han you. Now, t ake t his piece of paper in your hand. You have got it ? Very good. Now, unfold it and t ell m e what it is.” “ This is a bank- not e,” said I , “ for five hundred pounds.” “ That is a bank- not e,” repeat ed Mr. Jaggers, “ for five hundred pounds. And a very handsom e sum of m oney t oo, I t hink. You consider it so?” “ How could I do ot herwise! ” “ Ah! But answer t he quest ion,” said Mr. Jaggers. “ Undoubt edly.” “ You consider it , undoubt edly, a handsom e sum of m oney. Now, t hat handsom e sum of m oney, Pip, is your own. I t is a present t o you on t his day, in earnest of your expect at ions. And at t he rat e of t hat handsom e sum of m oney per annum , and at no higher rat e, you are t o live unt il t he donor of t he whole appears. That is t o say, you will now t ake your m oney affairs ent irely int o your own hands, and you will draw from Wem m ick one hundred and t went y- five pounds per quart er, unt il you are in com m unicat ion wit h t he fount ain- head, and no longer wit h t he m ere agent . As I have t old you before, I am t he m ere agent . I execut e m y inst ruct ions, and I am paid for doing so. I t hink t hem inj udicious, but I am not paid for giving any opinion on t heir m erit s.” I was beginning t o express m y grat it ude t o m y benefact or for t he great liberalit y wit h which I was t reat ed, when Mr. Jaggers st opped m e. “ I am not paid, Pip,” said he, coolly, “ t o carry your words t o any one; ” and t hen gat hered up his coat 406

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t ails, as he had gat hered up t he subj ect , and st ood frowning at his boot s as if he suspect ed t hem of designs against him . Aft er a pause, I hint ed: “ There was a quest ion j ust now, Mr. Jaggers, which you desired m e t o waive for a m om ent . I hope I am doing not hing wrong in asking it again?” “ What is it ?” said he. I m ight have known t hat he would never help m e out ; but it t ook m e aback t o have t o shape t he quest ion afresh, as if it were quit e new. “ I s it likely,” I said, aft er hesit at ing, “ t hat m y pat ron, t he fount ain- head you have spoken of, Mr. Jaggers, will soon—” t here I delicat ely st opped. “ Will soon what ?” asked Mr. Jaggers. “ That 's no quest ion as it st ands, you know.” “ Will soon com e t o London,” said I , aft er cast ing about for a precise form of words, “ or sum m on m e anywhere else?” “ Now here,” replied Mr. Jaggers, fixing m e for t he first t im e wit h his dark deep- set eyes, “ we m ust revert t o t he evening when we first encount ered one anot her in your village. What did I t ell you t hen, Pip?” “ You t old m e, Mr. Jaggers, t hat it m ight be years hence when t hat person appeared.” “ Just so,” said Mr. Jaggers; “ t hat 's m y answer.” As we looked full at one anot her, I felt m y breat h com e quicker in m y st rong desire t o get som et hing out of him . And as I felt t hat it cam e quicker, and as I felt t hat he saw t hat it cam e quicker, I felt t hat I had less chance t han ever of get t ing anyt hing out of him . “ Do you suppose it will st ill be years hence, Mr. Jaggers?” 407

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Mr. Jaggers shook his head—not in negat iving t he quest ion, but in alt oget her negat iving t he not ion t hat he could anyhow be got t o answer it —and t he t wo horrible cast s of t he t wit ched faces looked, when m y eyes st rayed up t o t hem , as if t hey had com e t o a crisis in t heir suspended at t ent ion, and were going t o sneeze. “ Com e! ” said Mr. Jaggers, warm ing t he backs of his legs wit h t he backs of his warm ed hands, “ I 'll be plain wit h you, m y friend Pip. That 's a quest ion I m ust not be asked. You'll underst and t hat , bet t er, when I t ell you it 's a quest ion t hat m ight com prom ise m e. Com e! I 'll go a lit t le furt her wit h you; I 'll say som et hing m ore.” He bent down so low t o frown at his boot s, t hat he was able t o rub t he calves of his legs in t he pause he m ade. “ When t hat person discloses,” said Mr. Jaggers, st raight ening him self, “ you and t hat person will set t le your own affairs. When t hat person discloses, m y part in t his business will cease and det erm ine. When t hat person discloses, it will not be necessary for m e t o know anyt hing about it . And t hat 's all I have got t o say.” We looked at one anot her unt il I wit hdrew m y eyes, and looked t hought fully at t he floor. From t his last speech I derived t he not ion t hat Miss Havisham , for som e reason or no reason, had not t aken him int o her confidence as t o her designing m e for Est ella; t hat he resent ed t his, and felt a j ealousy about it ; or t hat he really did obj ect t o t hat schem e, and would have not hing t o do wit h it . When I raised m y eyes again, I found t hat he had been shrewdly looking at m e all t he t im e, and was doing so st ill. 408

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“ I f t hat is all you have t o say, sir,” I rem arked, “ t here can be not hing left for m e t o say.” He nodded assent , and pulled out his t hief- dreaded wat ch, and asked m e where I was going t o dine? I replied at m y own cham bers, wit h Herbert . As a necessary sequence, I asked him if he would favour us wit h his com pany, and he prom pt ly accept ed t he invit at ion. But he insist ed on walking hom e wit h m e, in order t hat I m ight m ake no ext ra preparat ion for him , and first he had a let t er or t wo t o writ e, and ( of course) had his hands t o wash. So, I said I would go int o t he out er office and t alk t o Wem m ick. The fact was, t hat when t he five hundred pounds had com e int o m y pocket , a t hought had com e int o m y head which had been oft en t here before; and it appeared t o m e t hat Wem m ick was a good person t o advise wit h, concerning such t hought . He had already locked up his safe, and m ade preparat ions for going hom e. He had left his desk, brought out his t wo greasy office candlest icks and st ood t hem in line wit h t he snuffers on a slab near t he door, ready t o be ext inguished; he had raked his fire low, put his hat and great - coat ready, and was beat ing him self all over t he chest wit h his safe- key, as an at hlet ic exercise aft er business. “ Mr. Wem m ick,” said I , “ I want t o ask your opinion. I am very desirous t o serve a friend.” Wem m ick t ight ened his post - office and shook his head, as if his opinion were dead against any fat al weakness of t hat sort . 409

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“ This friend,” I pursued, “ is t rying t o get on in com m ercial life, but has no m oney, and finds it difficult and disheart ening t o m ake a beginning. Now, I want som ehow t o help him t o a beginning.” “ Wit h m oney down?” said Wem m ick, in a t one drier t han any sawdust . “ Wit h som e m oney down,” I replied, for an uneasy rem em brance shot across m e of t hat sym m et rical bundle of papers at hom e; “ wit h som e m oney down, and perhaps som e ant icipat ion of m y expect at ions.” “ Mr. Pip,” said Wem m ick, “ I should like j ust t o run over wit h you on m y fingers, if you please, t he nam es of t he various bridges up as high as Chelsea Reach. Let 's see; t here's London, one; Sout hwark, t wo; Blackfriars, t hree; Wat erloo, four; West m inst er, five; Vauxhall, six.” He had checked off each bridge in it s t urn, wit h t he handle of his safe- key on t he palm of his hand. “ There's as m any as six, you see, t o choose from .” “ I don't underst and you,” said I . “ Choose your bridge, Mr. Pip,” ret urned Wem m ick, “ and t ake a walk upon your bridge, and pit ch your m oney int o t he Tham es over t he cent re arch of your bridge, and you know t he end of it . Serve a friend wit h it , and you m ay know t he end of it t oo—but it 's a less pleasant and profit able end.” I could have post ed a newspaper in his m out h, he m ade it so wide aft er saying t his. “ This is very discouraging,” said I . “ Meant t o be so,” said Wem m ick. 410

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“ Then is it your opinion,” I inquired, wit h som e lit t le indignat ion, “ t hat a m an should never—” “ —I nvest port able propert y in a friend?” said Wem m ick. “ Cert ainly he should not . Unless he want s t o get rid of t he friend—and t hen it becom es a quest ion how m uch port able propert y it m ay be wort h t o get rid of him .” “ And t hat ,” said I , “ is your deliberat e opinion, Mr. Wem m ick?” “ That ,” he ret urned, “ is m y deliberat e opinion in t his office.” “ Ah! ” said I , pressing him , for I t hought I saw him near a loophole here; “ but would t hat be your opinion at Walwort h?” “ Mr. Pip,” he replied, wit h gravit y, “ Walwort h is one place, and t his office is anot her. Much as t he Aged is one person, and Mr. Jaggers is anot her. They m ust not be confounded t oget her. My Walwort h sent im ent s m ust be t aken at Walwort h; none but m y official sent im ent s can be t aken in t his office.” “ Very well,” said I , m uch relieved, “ t hen I shall look you up at Walwort h, you m ay depend upon it .” “ Mr. Pip,” he ret urned, “ you will be welcom e t here, in a privat e and personal capacit y.” We had held t his conversat ion in a low voice, well knowing m y guardian's ears t o be t he sharpest of t he sharp. As he now appeared in his doorway, t owelling his hands, Wem m ick got on his great coat and st ood by t o snuff out t he candles. We all t hree went int o t he st reet t oget her, and from t he doorst ep Wem m ick t urned his way, and Mr. Jaggers and I t urned ours. 411

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I could not help wishing m ore t han once t hat evening, t hat Mr. Jaggers had had an Aged in Gerrard- st reet , or a St inger, or a Som et hing, or a Som ebody, t o unbend his brows a lit t le. I t was an uncom fort able considerat ion on a t went y- first birt hday, t hat com ing of age at all seem ed hardly wort h while in such a guarded and suspicious world as he m ade of it . He was a t housand t im es bet t er inform ed and cleverer t han Wem m ick, and yet I would a t housand t im es rat her have had Wem m ick t o dinner. And Mr. Jaggers m ade not m e alone int ensely m elancholy, because, aft er he was gone, Herbert said of him self, wit h his eyes fixed on t he fire, t hat he t hought he m ust have com m it t ed a felony and forgot t en t he det ails of it , he felt so dej ect ed and guilt y.

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Chapt er 37 Deem ing Sunday t he best day for t aking Mr. Wem m ick's Walwort h sent im ent s, I devot ed t he next ensuing Sunday aft ernoon t o a pilgrim age t o t he Cast le. On arriving before t he bat t lem ent s, I found t he Union Jack flying and t he drawbridge up; but undet erred by t his show of defiance and resist ance, I rang at t he gat e, and was adm it t ed in a m ost pacific m anner by t he Aged. “ My son, sir,” said t he old m an, aft er securing t he drawbridge, “ rat her had it in his m ind t hat you m ight happen t o drop in, and he left word t hat he would soon be hom e from his aft ernoon's walk. He is very regular in his walks, is m y son. Very regular in everyt hing, is m y son.” I nodded at t he old gent lem an as Wem m ick him self m ight have nodded, and we went in and sat down by t he fireside. “ You m ade acquaint ance wit h m y son, sir,” said t he old m an, in his chirping way, while he warm ed his hands at t he blaze, “ at his office, I expect ?” I nodded. “ Hah! I have heerd t hat m y son is a wonderful hand at his business, sir?” I nodded hard. “ Yes; so t hey t ell m e. His business is t he Law?” I nodded harder. “ Which m akes it m ore surprising in m y son,” said t he old m an, “ for he was not brought up t o t he Law, but t o t he Wine- Coopering.” Curious t o know how t he old gent lem an st ood inform ed concerning t he reput at ion of Mr. Jaggers, I roared t hat nam e at him . He t hrew m e int o t he great est confusion by laughing heart ily and replying in a very spright ly m anner, “ No, t o be 413

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sure; you're right .” And t o t his hour I have not t he faint est not ion what he m eant , or what j oke he t hought I had m ade. As I could not sit t here nodding at him perpet ually, wit hout m aking som e ot her at t em pt t o int erest him , I shout ed at inquiry whet her his own calling in life had been “ t he WineCoopering.” By dint of st raining t hat t erm out of m yself several t im es and t apping t he old gent lem an on t he chest t o associat e it wit h him , I at last succeeded in m aking m y m eaning underst ood. “ No,” said t he old gent lem an; “ t he warehousing, t he warehousing. First , over yonder; ” he appeared t o m ean up t he chim ney, but I believe he int ended t o refer m e t o Liverpool; “ and t hen in t he Cit y of London here. However, having an infirm it y—for I am hard of hearing, sir—” I expressed in pant om im e t he great est ast onishm ent . “ —Yes, hard of hearing; having t hat infirm it y com ing upon m e, m y son he went int o t he Law, and he t ook charge of m e, and he by lit t le and lit t le m ade out t his elegant and beaut iful propert y. But ret urning t o what you said, you know,” pursued t he old m an, again laughing heart ily, “ what I say is, No t o be sure; you're right .” I was m odest ly wondering whet her m y ut m ost ingenuit y would have enabled m e t o say anyt hing t hat would have am used him half as m uch as t his im aginary pleasant ry, when I was st art led by a sudden click in t he wall on one side of t he chim ney, and t he ghost ly t um bling open of a lit t le wooden flap wit h “ JOHN” upon it . The old m an, following m y eyes, cried wit h great t rium ph, “ My son's com e hom e! ” and we bot h went out t o t he drawbridge. 414

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I t was wort h any m oney t o see Wem m ick waving a salut e t o m e from t he ot her side of t he m oat , when we m ight have shaken hands across it wit h t he great est ease. The Aged was so delight ed t o work t he drawbridge, t hat I m ade no offer t o assist him , but st ood quiet unt il Wem m ick had com e across, and had present ed m e t o Miss Skiffins: a lady by whom he was accom panied. Miss Skiffins was of a wooden appearance, and was, like her escort , in t he post - office branch of t he service. She m ight have been som e t wo or t hree years younger t han Wem m ick, and I j udged her t o st and possessed of port able propert y. The cut of her dress from t he waist upward, bot h before and behind, m ade her figure very like a boy's kit e; and I m ight have pronounced her gown a lit t le t oo decidedly orange, and her gloves a lit t le t oo int ensely green. But she seem ed t o be a good sort of fellow, and showed a high regard for t he Aged. I was not long in discovering t hat she was a frequent visit or at t he Cast le; for, on our going in, and m y com plim ent ing Wem m ick on his ingenious cont rivance for announcing him self t o t he Aged, he begged m e t o give m y at t ent ion for a m om ent t o t he ot her side of t he chim ney, and disappeared. Present ly anot her click cam e, and anot her lit t le door t um bled open wit h “ Miss Skiffins” on it ; t hen Miss Skiffins shut up and John t um bled open; t hen Miss Skiffins and John bot h t um bled open t oget her, and finally shut up t oget her. On Wem m ick's ret urn from working t hese m echanical appliances, I expressed t he great adm irat ion wit h which I regarded t hem , and he said, “ Well, you know, t hey're bot h pleasant and useful t o t he Aged. And by George, sir, it 's a t hing wort h m ent ioning, t hat 415

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of all t he people who com e t o t his gat e, t he secret of t hose pulls is only known t o t he Aged, Miss Skiffins, and m e! ” “ And Mr. Wem m ick m ade t hem ,” added Miss Skiffins, “ wit h his own hands out of his own head.” While Miss Skiffins was t aking off her bonnet ( she ret ained her green gloves during t he evening as an out ward and visible sign t hat t here was com pany) , Wem m ick invit ed m e t o t ake a walk wit h him round t he propert y, and see how t he island looked in wint ert im e. Thinking t hat he did t his t o give m e an opport unit y of t aking his Walwort h sent im ent s, I seized t he opport unit y as soon as we were out of t he Cast le. Having t hought of t he m at t er wit h care, I approached m y subj ect as if I had never hint ed at it before. I inform ed Wem m ick t hat I was anxious in behalf of Herbert Pocket , and I t old him how we had first m et , and how we had fought . I glanced at Herbert 's hom e, and at his charact er, and at his having no m eans but such as he was dependent on his fat her for: t hose, uncert ain and unpunct ual. I alluded t o t he advant ages I had derived in m y first rawness and ignorance from his societ y, and I confessed t hat I feared I had but ill repaid t hem , and t hat he m ight have done bet t er wit hout m e and m y expect at ions. Keeping Miss Havisham in t he background at a great dist ance, I st ill hint ed at t he possibilit y of m y having com pet ed wit h him in his prospect s, and at t he cert aint y of his possessing a generous soul, and being far above any m ean dist rust s, ret aliat ions, or designs. For all t hese reasons ( I t old Wem m ick) , and because he was m y young com panion and friend, and I had a great affect ion for him , I wished m y own good fort une t o reflect 416

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som e rays upon him , and t herefore I sought advice from Wem m ick's experience and knowledge of m en and affairs, how I could best t ry wit h m y resources t o help Herbert t o som e present incom e—say of a hundred a year, t o keep him in good hope and heart —and gradually t o buy him on t o som e sm all part nership. I begged Wem m ick, in conclusion, t o underst and t hat m y help m ust always be rendered wit hout Herbert 's knowledge or suspicion, and t hat t here was no one else in t he world wit h whom I could advise. I wound up by laying m y hand upon his shoulder, and saying, “ I can't help confiding in you, t hough I know it m ust be t roublesom e t o you; but t hat is your fault , in having ever brought m e here.” Wem m ick was silent for a lit t le while, and t hen said wit h a kind of st art , “ Well you know, Mr. Pip, I m ust t ell you one t hing. This is devilish good of you.” “ Say you'll help m e t o be good t hen,” said I . “ Ecod,” replied Wem m ick, shaking his head, “ t hat 's not m y t rade.” “ Nor is t his your t rading- place,” said I . “ You are right ,” he ret urned. “ You hit t he nail on t he head. Mr. Pip, I 'll put on m y considering- cap, and I t hink all you want t o do, m ay be done by degrees. Skiffins ( t hat 's her brot her) is an account ant and agent . I 'll look him up and go t o work for you.” “ I t hank you t en t housand t im es.” “ On t he cont rary,” said he, “ I t hank you, for t hough we are st rict ly in our privat e and personal capacit y, st ill it m ay be m ent ioned t hat t here are Newgat e cobwebs about , and it brushes t hem away.” 417

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Aft er a lit t le furt her conversat ion t o t he sam e effect , we ret urned int o t he Cast le where we found Miss Skiffins preparing t ea. The responsible dut y of m aking t he t oast was delegat ed t o t he Aged, and t hat excellent old gent lem an was so int ent upon it t hat he seem ed t o m e in som e danger of m elt ing his eyes. I t was no nom inal m eal t hat we were going t o m ake, but a vigorous realit y. The Aged prepared such a hayst ack of but t ered t oast , t hat I could scarcely see him over it as it sim m ered on an iron st and hooked on t o t he t op- bar; while Miss Skiffins brewed such a j orum of t ea, t hat t he pig in t he back prem ises becam e st rongly excit ed, and repeat edly expressed his desire t o part icipat e in t he ent ert ainm ent . The flag had been st ruck, and t he gun had been fired, at t he right m om ent of t im e, and I felt as snugly cut off from t he rest of Walwort h as if t he m oat were t hirt y feet wide by as m any deep. Not hing dist urbed t he t ranquillit y of t he Cast le, but t he occasional t um bling open of John and Miss Skiffins: which lit t le doors were a prey t o som e spasm odic infirm it y t hat m ade m e sym pat het ically uncom fort able unt il I got used t o it . I inferred from t he m et hodical nat ure of Miss Skiffins's arrangem ent s t hat she m ade t ea t here every Sunday night ; and I rat her suspect ed t hat a classic brooch she wore, represent ing t he profile of an undesirable fem ale wit h a very st raight nose and a very new m oon, was a piece of port able propert y t hat had been given her by Wem m ick. We at e t he whole of t he t oast , and drank t ea in proport ion, and it was delight ful t o see how warm and greasy we all got aft er it . The Aged especially, m ight have passed for som e clean old chief of a savage t ribe, j ust oiled. Aft er a short 418

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pause for repose, Miss Skiffins—in t he absence of t he lit t le servant who, it seem ed, ret ired t o t he bosom of her fam ily on Sunday aft ernoons—washed up t he t ea- t hings, in a t rifling lady- like am at eur m anner t hat com prom ised none of us. Then, she put on her gloves again, and we drew round t he fire, and Wem m ick said, “ Now Aged Parent , t ip us t he paper.” Wem m ick explained t o m e while t he Aged got his spect acles out , t hat t his was according t o cust om , and t hat it gave t he old gent lem an infinit e sat isfact ion t o read t he news aloud. “ I won't offer an apology,” said Wem m ick, “ for he isn't capable of m any pleasures—are you, Aged P.?” “ All right , John, all right ,” ret urned t he old m an, seeing him self spoken t o. “ Only t ip him a nod every now and t hen when he looks off his paper,” said Wem m ick, “ and he'll be as happy as a king. We are all at t ent ion, Aged One.” “ All right , John, all right ! ” ret urned t he cheerful old m an: so busy and so pleased, t hat it really was quit e charm ing. The Aged's reading rem inded m e of t he classes at Mr. Wopsle's great - aunt 's, wit h t he pleasant er peculiarit y t hat it seem ed t o com e t hrough a keyhole. As he want ed t he candles close t o him , and as he was always on t he verge of put t ing eit her his head or t he newspaper int o t hem , he required as m uch wat ching as a powder- m ill. But Wem m ick was equally unt iring and gent le in his vigilance, and t he Aged read on, quit e unconscious of his m any rescues. Whenever he looked at us, we all expressed t he great est int erest and am azem ent , and nodded unt il he resum ed again. 419

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As Wem m ick and Miss Skiffins sat side by side, and as I sat in a shadowy corner, I observed a slow and gradual elongat ion of Mr. Wem m ick's m out h, powerfully suggest ive of his slowly and gradually st ealing his arm round Miss Skiffins's waist . I n course of t im e I saw his hand appear on t he ot her side of Miss Skiffins; but at t hat m om ent Miss Skiffins neat ly st opped him wit h t he green glove, unwound his arm again as if it were an art icle of dress, and wit h t he great est deliberat ion laid it on t he t able before her. Miss Skiffins's com posure while she did t his was one of t he m ost rem arkable sight s I have ever seen, and if I could have t hought t he act consist ent wit h abst ract ion of m ind, I should have deem ed t hat Miss Skiffins perform ed it m echanically. By- and- by, I not iced Wem m ick's arm beginning t o disappear again, and gradually fading out of view. Short ly aft erwards, his m out h began t o widen again. Aft er an int erval of suspense on m y part t hat was quit e ent hralling and alm ost painful, I saw his hand appear on t he ot her side of Miss Skiffins. I nst ant ly, Miss Skiffins st opped it wit h t he neat ness of a placid boxer, t ook off t hat girdle or cest us as before, and laid it on t he t able. Taking t he t able t o represent t he pat h of virt ue, I am j ust ified in st at ing t hat during t he whole t im e of t he Aged's reading, Wem m ick's arm was st raying from t he pat h of virt ue and being recalled t o it by Miss Skiffins. At last , t he Aged read him self int o a light slum ber. This was t he t im e for Wem m ick t o produce a lit t le ket t le, a t ray of glasses, and a black bot t le wit h a porcelain- t opped cork, represent ing som e clerical dignit ary of a rubicund and social aspect . Wit h t he aid of t hese appliances we all had som et hing 420

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warm t o drink: including t he Aged, who was soon awake again. Miss Skiffins m ixed, and I observed t hat she and Wem m ick drank out of one glass. Of course I knew bet t er t han t o offer t o see Miss Skiffins hom e, and under t he circum st ances I t hought I had best go first : which I did, t aking a cordial leave of t he Aged, and having passed a pleasant evening. Before a week was out , I received a not e from Wem m ick, dat ed Walwort h, st at ing t hat he hoped he had m ade som e advance in t hat m at t er appert aining t o our privat e and personal capacit ies, and t hat he would be glad if I could com e and see him again upon it . So, I went out t o Walwort h again, and yet again, and yet again, and I saw him by appoint m ent in t he Cit y several t im es, but never held any com m unicat ion wit h him on t he subj ect in or near Lit t le Brit ain. The upshot was, t hat we found a wort hy young m erchant or shippingbroker, not long est ablished in business, who want ed int elligent help, and who want ed capit al, and who in due course of t im e and receipt would want a part ner. Bet ween him and m e, secret art icles were signed of which Herbert was t he subj ect , and I paid him half of m y five hundred pounds down, and engaged for sundry ot her paym ent s: som e, t o fall due at cert ain dat es out of m y incom e: som e, cont ingent on m y com ing int o m y propert y. Miss Skiffins's brot her conduct ed t he negot iat ion. Wem m ick pervaded it t hroughout , but never appeared in it . The whole business was so cleverly m anaged, t hat Herbert had not t he least suspicion of m y hand being in it . I never shall forget t he radiant face wit h which he cam e hom e one 421

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aft ernoon, and t old m e, as a m ight y piece of news, of his having fallen in wit h one Clarriker ( t he young m erchant 's nam e) , and of Clarriker's having shown an ext raordinary inclinat ion t owards him , and of his belief t hat t he opening had com e at last . Day by day as his hopes grew st ronger and his face bright er, he m ust have t hought m e a m ore and m ore affect ionat e friend, for I had t he great est difficult y in rest raining m y t ears of t rium ph when I saw him so happy. At lengt h, t he t hing being done, and he having t hat day ent ered Clarriker's House, and he having t alked t o m e for a whole evening in a flush of pleasure and success, I did really cry in good earnest when I went t o bed, t o t hink t hat m y expect at ions had done som e good t o som ebody. A great event in m y life, t he t urning point of m y life, now opens on m y view. But , before I proceed t o narrat e it , and before I pass on t o all t he changes it involved, I m ust give one chapt er t o Est ella. I t is not m uch t o give t o t he t hem e t hat so long filled m y heart .

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Chapt er 38 I f t hat st aid old house near t he Green at Richm ond should ever com e t o be haunt ed when I am dead, it will be haunt ed, surely, by m y ghost . O t he m any, m any night s and days t hrough which t he unquiet spirit wit hin m e haunt ed t hat house when Est ella lived t here! Let m y body be where it would, m y spirit was always wandering, wandering, wandering, about t hat house. The lady wit h whom Est ella was placed, Mrs. Brandley by nam e, was a widow, wit h one daught er several years older t han Est ella. The m ot her looked young, and t he daught er looked old; t he m ot her's com plexion was pink, and t he daught er's was yellow; t he m ot her set up for frivolit y, and t he daught er for t heology. They were in what is called a good posit ion, and visit ed, and were visit ed by, num bers of people. Lit t le, if any, com m unit y of feeling subsist ed bet ween t hem and Est ella, but t he underst anding was est ablished t hat t hey were necessary t o her, and t hat she was necessary t o t hem . Mrs. Brandley had been a friend of Miss Havisham 's before t he t im e of her seclusion. I n Mrs. Brandley's house and out of Mrs. Brandley's house, I suffered every kind and degree of t ort ure t hat Est ella could cause m e. The nat ure of m y relat ions wit h her, which placed m e on t erm s of fam iliarit y wit hout placing m e on t erm s of favour, conduced t o m y dist ract ion. She m ade use of m e t o t ease ot her adm irers, and she t urned t he very fam iliarit y bet ween herself and m e, t o t he account of put t ing a const ant 423

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slight on m y devot ion t o her. I f I had been her secret ary, st eward, half- brot her, poor relat ion—if I had been a younger brot her of her appoint ed husband—I could not have seem ed t o m yself, furt her from m y hopes when I was nearest t o her. The privilege of calling her by her nam e and hearing her call m e by m ine, becam e under t he circum st ances an aggravat ion of m y t rials; and while I t hink it likely t hat it alm ost m addened her ot her lovers, I know t oo cert ainly t hat it alm ost m addened m e. She had adm irers wit hout end. No doubt m y j ealousy m ade an adm irer of every one who went near her; but t here were m ore t han enough of t hem wit hout t hat . I saw her oft en at Richm ond, I heard of her oft en in t own, and I used oft en t o t ake her and t he Brandleys on t he wat er; t here were picnics, fet e days, plays, operas, concert s, part ies, all sort s of pleasures, t hrough which I pursued her—and t hey were all m iseries t o m e. I never had one hour's happiness in her societ y, and yet m y m ind all round t he four- and- t went y hours was harping on t he happiness of having her wit h m e unt o deat h. Throughout t his part of our int ercourse—and it last ed, as will present ly be seen, for what I t hen t hought a long t im e— she habit ually revert ed t o t hat t one which expressed t hat our associat ion was forced upon us. There were ot her t im es when she would com e t o a sudden check in t his t one and in all her m any t ones, and would seem t o pit y m e. “ Pip, Pip,” she said one evening, com ing t o such a check, when we sat apart at a darkening window of t he house in Richm ond; “ will you never t ake warning?” 424

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“ Of what ?” “ Of m e.” “ Warning not t o be at t ract ed by you, do you m ean, Est ella?” “ Do I m ean! I f you don't know what I m ean, you are blind.” I should have replied t hat Love was com m only reput ed blind, but for t he reason t hat I always was rest rained—and t his was not t he least of m y m iseries—by a feeling t hat it was ungenerous t o press m yself upon her, when she knew t hat she could not choose but obey Miss Havisham . My dread always was, t hat t his knowledge on her part laid m e under a heavy disadvant age wit h her pride, and m ade m e t he subj ect of a rebellious st ruggle in her bosom . “ At any rat e,” said I , “ I have no warning given m e j ust now, for you wrot e t o m e t o com e t o you, t his t im e.” “ That 's t rue,” said Est ella, wit h a cold careless sm ile t hat always chilled m e. Aft er looking at t he t wilight wit hout , for a lit t le while, she went on t o say: “ The t im e has com e round when Miss Havisham wishes t o have m e for a day at Sat is. You are t o t ake m e t here, and bring m e back, if you will. She would rat her I did not t ravel alone, and obj ect s t o receiving m y m aid, for she has a sensit ive horror of being t alked of by such people. Can you t ake m e?” “ Can I t ake you, Est ella! ”

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“ You can t hen? The day aft er t o- m orrow, if you please. You are t o pay all charges out of m y purse, You hear t he condit ion of your going?” “ And m ust obey,” said I . This was all t he preparat ion I received for t hat visit , or for ot hers like it : Miss Havisham never wrot e t o m e, nor had I ever so m uch as seen her handwrit ing. We went down on t he next day but one, and we found her in t he room where I had first beheld her, and it is needless t o add t hat t here was no change in Sat is House. She was even m ore dreadfully fond of Est ella t han she had been when I last saw t hem t oget her; I repeat t he word advisedly, for t here was som et hing posit ively dreadful in t he energy of her looks and em braces. She hung upon Est ella's beaut y, hung upon her words, hung upon her gest ures, and sat m um bling her own t rem bling fingers while she looked at her, as t hough she were devouring t he beaut iful creat ure she had reared. From Est ella she looked at m e, wit h a searching glance t hat seem ed t o pry int o m y heart and probe it s wounds. “ How does she use you, Pip; how does she use you?” she asked m e again, wit h her wit ch- like eagerness, even in Est ella's hearing. But , when we sat by her flickering fire at night , she was m ost weird; for t hen, keeping Est ella's hand drawn t hrough her arm and clut ched in her own hand, she ext ort ed from her, by dint of referring back t o what Est ella had t old her in her regular let t ers, t he nam es and condit ions of t he m en whom she had fascinat ed; and as Miss Havisham dwelt upon t his roll, wit h t he int ensit y of a m ind m ort ally hurt and 426

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diseased, she sat wit h her ot her hand on her crut ch st ick, and her chin on t hat , and her wan bright eyes glaring at m e, a very spect re. I saw in t his, wret ched t hough it m ade m e, and bit t er t he sense of dependence and even of degradat ion t hat it awakened—I saw in t his, t hat Est ella was set t o wreak Miss Havisham 's revenge on m en, and t hat she was not t o be given t o m e unt il she had grat ified it for a t erm . I saw in t his, a reason for her being beforehand assigned t o m e. Sending her out t o at t ract and t orm ent and do m ischief, Miss Havisham sent her wit h t he m alicious assurance t hat she was beyond t he reach of all adm irers, and t hat all who st aked upon t hat cast were secured t o lose. I saw in t his, t hat I , t oo, was t orm ent ed by a perversion of ingenuit y, even while t he prize was reserved for m e. I saw in t his, t he reason for m y being st aved off so long, and t he reason for m y lat e guardian's declining t o com m it him self t o t he form al knowledge of such a schem e. I n a word, I saw in t his, Miss Havisham as I had her t hen and t here before m y eyes, and always had had her before m y eyes; and I saw in t his, t he dist inct shadow of t he darkened and unhealt hy house in which her life was hidden from t he sun. The candles t hat light ed t hat room of hers were placed in sconces on t he wall. They were high from t he ground, and t hey burnt wit h t he st eady dulness of art ificial light in air t hat is seldom renewed. As I looked round at t hem , and at t he pale gloom t hey m ade, and at t he st opped clock, and at t he wit hered art icles of bridal dress upon t he t able and t he ground, and at her own awful figure wit h it s ghost ly reflect ion 427

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t hrown large by t he fire upon t he ceiling and t he wall, I saw in everyt hing t he const ruct ion t hat m y m ind had com e t o, repeat ed and t hrown back t o m e. My t hought s passed int o t he great room across t he landing where t he t able was spread, and I saw it writ t en, as it were, in t he falls of t he cobwebs from t he cent re- piece, in t he crawlings of t he spiders on t he clot h, in t he t racks of t he m ice as t hey bet ook t heir lit t le quickened heart s behind t he panels, and in t he gropings and pausings of t he beet les on t he floor. I t happened on t he occasion of t his visit t hat som e sharp words arose bet ween Est ella and Miss Havisham . I t was t he first t im e I had ever seen t hem opposed. We were seat ed by t he fire, as j ust now described, and Miss Havisham st ill had Est ella's arm drawn t hrough her own, and st ill clut ched Est ella's hand in hers, when Est ella gradually began t o det ach herself. She had shown a proud im pat ience m ore t han once before, and had rat her endured t hat fierce affect ion t han accept ed or ret urned it . “ What ! ” said Miss Havisham , flashing her eyes upon her, “ are you t ired of m e?” “ Only a lit t le t ired of m yself,” replied Est ella, disengaging her arm , and m oving t o t he great chim ney- piece, where she st ood looking down at t he fire. “ Speak t he t rut h, you ingrat e! ” cried Miss Havisham , passionat ely st riking her st ick upon t he floor; “ you are t ired of m e.” Est ella looked at her wit h perfect com posure, and again looked down at t he fire. Her graceful figure and her beaut iful 428

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face expressed a self- possessed indifference t o t he wild heat of t he ot her, t hat was alm ost cruel. “ You st ock and st one! ” exclaim ed Miss Havisham . “ You cold, cold heart ! ” “ What ?” said Est ella, preserving her at t it ude of indifference as she leaned against t he great chim ney- piece and only m oving her eyes; “ do you reproach m e for being cold? You?” “ Are you not ?” was t he fierce ret ort . “ You should know,” said Est ella. “ I am what you have m ade m e. Take all t he praise, t ake all t he blam e; t ake all t he success, t ake all t he failure; in short , t ake m e.” “ O, look at her, look at her! ” cried Miss Havisham , bit t erly; “ Look at her, so hard and t hankless, on t he heart h where she was reared! Where I t ook her int o t his wret ched breast when it was first bleeding from it s st abs, and where I have lavished years of t enderness upon her! ” “ At least I was no part y t o t he com pact ,” said Est ella, “ for if I could walk and speak, when it was m ade, it was as m uch as I could do. But what would you have? You have been very good t o m e, and I owe everyt hing t o you. What would you have?” “ Love,” replied t he ot her. “ You have it .” “ I have not ,” said Miss Havisham . “ Mot her by adopt ion,” ret ort ed Est ella, never depart ing from t he easy grace of her at t it ude, never raising her voice as t he ot her did, never yielding eit her t o anger or t enderness, “ Mot her by adopt ion, I have said t hat I owe everyt hing t o you. All I possess is freely yours. All t hat you have given m e, 429

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is at your com m and t o have again. Beyond t hat , I have not hing. And if you ask m e t o give you what you never gave m e, m y grat it ude and dut y cannot do im possibilit ies.” “ Did I never give her love! ” cried Miss Havisham , t urning wildly t o m e. “ Did I never give her a burning love, inseparable from j ealousy at all t im es, and from sharp pain, while she speaks t hus t o m e! Let her call m e m ad, let her call m e m ad! ” “ Why should I call you m ad,” ret urned Est ella, “ I , of all people? Does any one live, who knows what set purposes you have, half as well as I do? Does any one live, who knows what a st eady m em ory you have, half as well as I do? I who have sat on t his sam e heart h on t he lit t le st ool t hat is even now beside you t here, learning your lessons and looking up int o your face, when your face was st range and fright ened m e! ” “ Soon forgot t en! ” m oaned Miss Havisham . “ Tim es soon forgot t en! ” “ No, not forgot t en,” ret ort ed Est ella. “ Not forgot t en, but t reasured up in m y m em ory. When have you found m e false t o your t eaching? When have you found m e unm indful of your lessons? When have you found m e giving adm ission here,” she t ouched her bosom wit h her hand, “ t o anyt hing t hat you excluded? Be j ust t o m e.” “ So proud, so proud! ” m oaned Miss Havisham , pushing away her grey hair wit h bot h her hands. “ Who t aught m e t o be proud?” ret urned Est ella. “ Who praised m e when I learnt m y lesson?” “ So hard, so hard! ” m oaned Miss Havisham , wit h her form er act ion. 430

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“ Who t aught m e t o be hard?” ret urned Est ella. “ Who praised m e when I learnt m y lesson?” “ But t o be proud and hard t o m e! ” Miss Havisham quit e shrieked, as she st ret ched out her arm s. “ Est ella, Est ella, Est ella, t o be proud and hard t o m e! ” Est ella looked at her for a m om ent wit h a kind of calm wonder, but was not ot herwise dist urbed; when t he m om ent was past , she looked down at t he fire again. “ I cannot t hink,” said Est ella, raising her eyes aft er a silence “ why you should be so unreasonable when I com e t o see you aft er a separat ion. I have never forgot t en your wrongs and t heir causes. I have never been unfait hful t o you or your schooling. I have never shown any weakness t hat I can charge m yself wit h.” “ Would it be weakness t o ret urn m y love?” exclaim ed Miss Havisham . “ But yes, yes, she would call it so! ” “ I begin t o t hink,” said Est ella, in a m using way, aft er anot her m om ent of calm wonder, “ t hat I alm ost underst and how t his com es about . I f you had brought up your adopt ed daught er wholly in t he dark confinem ent of t hese room s, and had never let her know t hat t here was such a t hing as t he daylight by which she had never once seen your face—if you had done t hat , and t hen, for a purpose had want ed her t o underst and t he daylight and know all about it , you would have been disappoint ed and angry?” Miss Havisham , wit h her head in her hands, sat m aking a low m oaning, and swaying herself on her chair, but gave no answer. 431

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“ Or,” said Est ella," —which is a nearer case—if you had t aught her, from t he dawn of her int elligence, wit h your ut m ost energy and m ight , t hat t here was such a t hing as daylight , but t hat it was m ade t o be her enem y and dest royer, and she m ust always t urn against it , for it had blight ed you and would else blight her; —if you had done t his, and t hen, for a purpose, had want ed her t o t ake nat urally t o t he daylight and she could not do it , you would have been disappoint ed and angry?” Miss Havisham sat list ening ( or it seem ed so, for I could not see her face) , but st ill m ade no answer. “ So,” said Est ella, “ I m ust be t aken as I have been m ade. The success is not m ine, t he failure is not m ine, but t he t wo t oget her m ake m e.” Miss Havisham had set t led down, I hardly knew how, upon t he floor, am ong t he faded bridal relics wit h which it was st rewn. I t ook advant age of t he m om ent —I had sought one from t he first —t o leave t he room , aft er beseeching Est ella's at t ent ion t o her, wit h a m ovem ent of m y hand. When I left , Est ella was yet st anding by t he great chim ney- piece, j ust as she had st ood t hroughout . Miss Havisham 's grey hair was all adrift upon t he ground, am ong t he ot her bridal wrecks, and was a m iserable sight t o see. I t was wit h a depressed heart t hat I walked in t he st arlight for an hour and m ore, about t he court - yard, and about t he brewery, and about t he ruined garden. When I at last t ook courage t o ret urn t o t he room , I found Est ella sit t ing at Miss Havisham 's knee, t aking up som e st it ches in one of t hose old art icles of dress t hat were dropping t o pieces, and of which I 432

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have oft en been rem inded since by t he faded t at t ers of old banners t hat I have seen hanging up in cat hedrals. Aft erwards, Est ella and I played at cards, as of yore—only we were skilful now, and played French gam es—and so t he evening wore away, and I went t o bed. I lay in t hat separat e building across t he court - yard. I t was t he first t im e I had ever lain down t o rest in Sat is House, and sleep refused t o com e near m e. A t housand Miss Havisham s haunt ed m e. She was on t his side of m y pillow, on t hat , at t he head of t he bed, at t he foot , behind t he half- opened door of t he dressing- room , in t he dressing- room , in t he room overhead, in t he room beneat h—everywhere. At last , when t he night was slow t o creep on t owards t wo o'clock, I felt t hat I absolut ely could no longer bear t he place as a place t o lie down in, and t hat I m ust get up. I t herefore got up and put on m y clot hes, and went out across t he yard int o t he long st one passage, designing t o gain t he out er court - yard and walk t here for t he relief of m y m ind. But , I was no sooner in t he passage t han I ext inguished m y candle; for, I saw Miss Havisham going along it in a ghost ly m anner, m aking a low cry. I followed her at a dist ance, and saw her go up t he st aircase. She carried a bare candle in her hand, which she had probably t aken from one of t he sconces in her own room , and was a m ost uneart hly obj ect by it s light . St anding at t he bot t om of t he st aircase, I felt t he m ildewed air of t he feast cham ber, wit hout seeing her open t he door, and I heard her walking t here, and so across int o her own room , and so across again int o t hat , never ceasing t he low cry. Aft er a t im e, I t ried in t he dark bot h t o get out , and t o go back, but I 433

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could do neit her unt il som e st reaks of day st rayed in and showed m e where t o lay m y hands. During t he whole int erval, whenever I went t o t he bot t om of t he st aircase, I heard her foot st ep, saw her light pass above, and heard her ceaseless low cry. Before we left next day, t here was no revival of t he difference bet ween her and Est ella, nor was it ever revived on any sim ilar occasion; and t here were four sim ilar occasions, t o t he best of m y rem em brance. Nor, did Miss Havisham 's m anner t owards Est ella in anywise change, except t hat I believed it t o have som et hing like fear infused am ong it s form er charact erist ics. I t is im possible t o t urn t his leaf of m y life, wit hout put t ing Bent ley Drum m le's nam e upon it ; or I would, very gladly. On a cert ain occasion when t he Finches were assem bled in force, and when good feeling was being prom ot ed in t he usual m anner by nobody's agreeing wit h anybody else, t he presiding Finch called t he Grove t o order, forasm uch as Mr. Drum m le had not yet t oast ed a lady; which, according t o t he solem n const it ut ion of t he societ y, it was t he brut e's t urn t o do t hat day. I t hought I saw him leer in an ugly way at m e while t he decant ers were going round, but as t here was no love lost bet ween us, t hat m ight easily be. What was m y indignant surprise when he called upon t he com pany t o pledge him t o “ Est ella! ” “ Est ella who?” said I . “ Never you m ind,” ret ort ed Drum m le. “ Est ella of where?” said I . “ You are bound t o say of where.” Which he was, as a Finch. 434

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“ Of Richm ond, gent lem en,” said Drum m le, put t ing m e out of t he quest ion, “ and a peerless beaut y.” Much he knew about peerless beaut ies, a m ean m iserable idiot ! I whispered Herbert . “ I know t hat lady,” said Herbert , across t he t able, when t he t oast had been honoured. “ Do you?” said Drum m le. “ And so do I ,” I added, wit h a scarlet face. “ Do you?” said Drum m le. “ Oh, Lord! ” This was t he only ret ort —except glass or crockery—t hat t he heavy creat ure was capable of m aking; but , I becam e as highly incensed by it as if it had been barbed wit h wit , and I im m ediat ely rose in m y place and said t hat I could not but regard it as being like t he honourable Finch's im pudence t o com e down t o t hat Grove—we always t alked about com ing down t o t hat Grove, as a neat Parliam ent ary t urn of expression—down t o t hat Grove, proposing a lady of whom he knew not hing. Mr. Drum m le upon t his, st art ing up, dem anded what I m eant by t hat ? Whereupon, I m ade him t he ext rem e reply t hat I believed he knew where I was t o be found. Whet her it was possible in a Christ ian count ry t o get on wit hout blood, aft er t his, was a quest ion on which t he Finches were divided. The debat e upon it grew so lively, indeed, t hat at least six m ore honourable m em bers t old six m ore, during t he discussion, t hat t hey believed t hey knew where t hey were t o be found. However, it was decided at last ( t he Grove being a Court of Honour) t hat if Mr. Drum m le would bring never so slight a cert ificat e from t he lady, im port ing t hat he had t he honour of her acquaint ance, Mr. Pip m ust express his regret , 435

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as a gent lem an and a Finch, for “ having been bet rayed int o a warm t h which.” Next day was appoint ed for t he product ion ( lest our honour should t ake cold from delay) , and next day Drum m le appeared wit h a polit e lit t le avowal in Est ella's hand, t hat she had had t he honour of dancing wit h him several t im es. This left m e no course but t o regret t hat I had been “ bet rayed int o a warm t h which,” and on t he whole t o repudiat e, as unt enable, t he idea t hat I was t o be found anywhere. Drum m le and I t hen sat snort ing at one anot her for an hour, while t he Grove engaged in indiscrim inat e cont radict ion, and finally t he prom ot ion of good feeling was declared t o have gone ahead at an am azing rat e. I t ell t his light ly, but it was no light t hing t o m e. For, I cannot adequat ely express what pain it gave m e t o t hink t hat Est ella should show any favour t o a cont em pt ible, clum sy, sulky booby, so very far below t he average. To t he present m om ent , I believe it t o have been referable t o som e pure fire of generosit y and disint erest edness in m y love for her, t hat I could not endure t he t hought of her st ooping t o t hat hound. No doubt I should have been m iserable whom soever she had favoured; but a wort hier obj ect would have caused m e a different kind and degree of dist ress. I t was easy for m e t o find out , and I did soon find out , t hat Drum m le had begun t o follow her closely, and t hat she allowed him t o do it . A lit t le while, and he was always in pursuit of her, and he and I crossed one anot her every day. He held on, in a dull persist ent way, and Est ella held him on; now wit h encouragem ent , now wit h discouragem ent , now alm ost flat t ering him , now openly despising him , now 436

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knowing him very well, now scarcely rem em bering who he was. The Spider, as Mr. Jaggers had called him , was used t o lying in wait , however, and had t he pat ience of his t ribe. Added t o t hat , he had a blockhead confidence in his m oney and in his fam ily great ness, which som et im es did him good service—alm ost t aking t he place of concent rat ion and det erm ined purpose. So, t he Spider, doggedly wat ching Est ella, out wat ched m any bright er insect s, and would oft en uncoil him self and drop at t he right nick of t im e. At a cert ain Assem bly Ball at Richm ond ( t here used t o be Assem bly Balls at m ost places t hen) , where Est ella had out shone all ot her beaut ies, t his blundering Drum m le so hung about her, and wit h so m uch t olerat ion on her part , t hat I resolved t o speak t o her concerning him . I t ook t he next opport unit y: which was when she was wait ing for Mrs. Brandley t o t ake her hom e, and was sit t ing apart am ong som e flowers, ready t o go. I was wit h her, for I alm ost always accom panied t hem t o and from such places. “ Are you t ired, Est ella?” “ Rat her, Pip.” “ You should be.” “ Say rat her, I should not be; for I have m y let t er t o Sat is House t o writ e, before I go t o sleep.” “ Recount ing t o- night 's t rium ph?” said I . “ Surely a very poor one, Est ella.” “ What do you m ean? I didn't know t here had been any.” “ Est ella,” said I , “ do look at t hat fellow in t he corner yonder, who is looking over here at us.” 437

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“ Why should I look at him ?” ret urned Est ella, wit h her eyes on m e inst ead. “ What is t here in t hat fellow in t he corner yonder—t o use your words—t hat I need look at ?” “ I ndeed, t hat is t he very quest ion I want t o ask you,” said I . “ For he has been hovering about you all night .” “ Mot hs, and all sort s of ugly creat ures,” replied Est ella, wit h a glance t owards him , “ hover about a light ed candle. Can t he candle help it ?” “ No,” I ret urned; “ but cannot t he Est ella help it ?” “ Well! ” said she, laughing, aft er a m om ent , “ perhaps. Yes. Anyt hing you like.” “ But , Est ella, do hear m e speak. I t m akes m e wret ched t hat you should encourage a m an so generally despised as Drum m le. You know he is despised.” “ Well?” said she. “ You know he is as ungainly wit hin, as wit hout . A deficient , illt em pered, lowering, st upid fellow.” “ Well?” said she. “ You know he has not hing t o recom m end him but m oney, and a ridiculous roll of addle- headed predecessors; now, don't you?” “ Well?” said she again; and each t im e she said it , she opened her lovely eyes t he wider. To overcom e t he difficult y of get t ing past t hat m onosyllable, I t ook it from her, and said, repeat ing it wit h em phasis, “ Well! Then, t hat is why it m akes m e wret ched.” Now, if I could have believed t hat she favoured Drum m le wit h any idea of m aking m e—m e—wret ched, I should have been in bet t er heart about it ; but in t hat habit ual way of hers, 438

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she put m e so ent irely out of t he quest ion, t hat I could believe not hing of t he kind. “ Pip,” said Est ella, cast ing her glance over t he room , “ don't be foolish about it s effect on you. I t m ay have it s effect on ot hers, and m ay be m eant t o have. I t 's not wort h discussing.” “ Yes it is,” said I , “ because I cannot bear t hat people should say, ‘she t hrows away her graces and at t ract ions on a m ere boor, t he lowest in t he crowd.'” “ I can bear it ,” said Est ella. “ Oh! don't be so proud, Est ella, and so inflexible.” “ Calls m e proud and inflexible in t his breat h! ” said Est ella, opening her hands. “ And in his last breat h reproached m e for st ooping t o a boor! ” “ There is no doubt you do,” said I , som et hing hurriedly, “ for I have seen you give him looks and sm iles t his very night , such as you never give t o—m e.” “ Do you want m e t hen,” said Est ella, t urning suddenly wit h a fixed and serious, if not angry, look, “ t o deceive and ent rap you?” “ Do you deceive and ent rap him , Est ella?” “ Yes, and m any ot hers—all of t hem but you. Here is Mrs. Brandley. I 'll say no m ore.” And now t hat I have given t he one chapt er t o t he t hem e t hat so filled m y heart , and so oft en m ade it ache and ache again, I pass on, unhindered, t o t he event t hat had im pended over m e longer yet ; t he event t hat had begun t o be prepared for, before I knew t hat t he world held Est ella, and in t he days when her baby int elligence was receiving it s first dist ort ions from Miss Havisham 's wast ing hands. 439

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I n t he East ern st ory, t he heavy slab t hat was t o fall on t he bed of st at e in t he flush of conquest was slowly wrought out of t he quarry, t he t unnel for t he rope t o hold it in it s place was slowly carried t hrough t he leagues of rock, t he slab was slowly raised and fit t ed in t he roof, t he rope was rove t o it and slowly t aken t hrough t he m iles of hollow t o t he great iron ring. All being m ade ready wit h m uch labour, and t he hour com e, t he sult an was aroused in t he dead of t he night , and t he sharpened axe t hat was t o sever t he rope from t he great iron ring was put int o his hand, and he st ruck wit h it , and t he rope part ed and rushed away, and t he ceiling fell. So, in m y case; all t he work, near and afar, t hat t ended t o t he end, had been accom plished; and in an inst ant t he blow was st ruck, and t he roof of m y st ronghold dropped upon m e.

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Chapt er 39 I was t hree- and- t went y years of age. Not anot her word had I heard t o enlight en m e on t he subj ect of m y expect at ions, and m y t went y- t hird birt hday was a week gone. We had left Barnard's I nn m ore t han a year, and lived in t he Tem ple. Our cham bers were in Garden- court , down by t he river. Mr. Pocket and I had for som e t im e part ed com pany as t o our original relat ions, t hough we cont inued on t he best t erm s. Not wit hst anding m y inabilit y t o set t le t o anyt hing—which I hope arose out of t he rest less and incom plet e t enure on which I held m y m eans—I had a t ast e for reading, and read regularly so m any hours a day. That m at t er of Herbert 's was st ill progressing, and everyt hing wit h m e was as I have brought it down t o t he close of t he last preceding chapt er. Business had t aken Herbert on a j ourney t o Marseilles. I was alone, and had a dull sense of being alone. Dispirit ed and anxious, long hoping t hat t o- m orrow or next week would clear m y way, and long disappoint ed, I sadly m issed t he cheerful face and ready response of m y friend. I t was wret ched weat her; st orm y and wet , st orm y and wet ; and m ud, m ud, m ud, deep in all t he st reet s. Day aft er day, a vast heavy veil had been driving over London from t he East , and it drove st ill, as if in t he East t here were an Et ernit y of cloud and wind. So furious had been t he gust s, t hat high buildings in t own had had t he lead st ripped off t heir roofs; and in t he count ry, t rees had been t orn up, and sails of 441

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windm ills carried away; and gloom y account s had com e in from t he coast , of shipwreck and deat h. Violent blast s of rain had accom panied t hese rages of wind, and t he day j ust closed as I sat down t o read had been t he worst of all. Alt erat ions have been m ade in t hat part of t he Tem ple since t hat t im e, and it has not now so lonely a charact er as it had t hen, nor is it so exposed t o t he river. We lived at t he t op of t he last house, and t he wind rushing up t he river shook t he house t hat night , like discharges of cannon, or breakings of a sea. When t he rain cam e wit h it and dashed against t he windows, I t hought , raising m y eyes t o t hem as t hey rocked, t hat I m ight have fancied m yself in a st orm - beat en light house. Occasionally, t he sm oke cam e rolling down t he chim ney as t hough it could not bear t o go out int o such a night ; and when I set t he doors open and looked down t he st aircase, t he st aircase lam ps were blown out ; and when I shaded m y face wit h m y hands and looked t hrough t he black windows ( opening t hem ever so lit t le, was out of t he quest ion in t he t eet h of such wind and rain) I saw t hat t he lam ps in t he court were blown out , and t hat t he lam ps on t he bridges and t he shore were shuddering, and t hat t he coal fires in barges on t he river were being carried away before t he wind like redhot splashes in t he rain. I read wit h m y wat ch upon t he t able, purposing t o close m y book at eleven o'clock. As I shut it , Saint Paul's, and all t he m any church- clocks in t he Cit y—som e leading, som e accom panying, som e following—st ruck t hat hour. The sound was curiously flawed by t he wind; and I was list ening, and 442

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t hinking how t he wind assailed and t ore it , when I heard a foot st ep on t he st air. What nervous folly m ade m e st art , and awfully connect it wit h t he foot st ep of m y dead sist er, m at t ers not . I t was past in a m om ent , and I list ened again, and heard t he foot st ep st um ble in com ing on. Rem em bering t hen, t hat t he st aircaselight s were blown out , I t ook up m y reading- lam p and went out t o t he st air- head. Whoever was below had st opped on seeing m y lam p, for all was quiet . “ There is som e one down t here, is t here not ?” I called out , looking down. “ Yes,” said a voice from t he darkness beneat h. “ What floor do you want ?” “ The t op. Mr. Pip.” “ That is m y nam e.—There is not hing t he m at t er?” “ Not hing t he m at t er,” ret urned t he voice. And t he m an cam e on. I st ood wit h m y lam p held out over t he st air- rail, and he cam e slowly wit hin it s light . I t was a shaded lam p, t o shine upon a book, and it s circle of light was very cont ract ed; so t hat he was in it for a m ere inst ant , and t hen out of it . I n t he inst ant , I had seen a face t hat was st range t o m e, looking up wit h an incom prehensible air of being t ouched and pleased by t he sight of m e. Moving t he lam p as t he m an m oved, I m ade out t hat he was subst ant ially dressed, but roughly; like a voyager by sea. That he had long iron- grey hair. That his age was about sixt y. That he was a m uscular m an, st rong on his legs, and t hat he was browned and hardened by exposure t o weat her. As he 443

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ascended t he last st air or t wo, and t he light of m y lam p included us bot h, I saw, wit h a st upid kind of am azem ent , t hat he was holding out bot h his hands t o m e. “ Pray what is your business?” I asked him . “ My business?” he repeat ed, pausing. “ Ah! Yes. I will explain m y business, by your leave.” “ Do you wish t o com e in?” “ Yes,” he replied; “ I wish t o com e in, Mast er.” I had asked him t he quest ion inhospit ably enough, for I resent ed t he sort of bright and grat ified recognit ion t hat st ill shone in his face. I resent ed it , because it seem ed t o im ply t hat he expect ed m e t o respond t o it . But , I t ook him int o t he room I had j ust left , and, having set t he lam p on t he t able, asked him as civilly as I could, t o explain him self. He looked about him wit h t he st rangest air—an air of wondering pleasure, as if he had som e part in t he t hings he adm ired—and he pulled off a rough out er coat , and his hat . Then, I saw t hat his head was furrowed and bald, and t hat t he long iron- grey hair grew only on it s sides. But , I saw not hing t hat in t he least explained him . On t he cont rary, I saw him next m om ent , once m ore holding out bot h his hands t o m e. “ What do you m ean?” said I , half suspect ing him t o be m ad. He st opped in his looking at m e, and slowly rubbed his right hand over his head. “ I t 's disapint ing t o a m an,” he said, in a coarse broken voice, “ art er having looked for'ard so dist ant , and com e so fur; but you're not t o blam e for t hat — 444

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neit her on us is t o blam e for t hat . I 'll speak in half a m inut e. Give m e half a m inut e, please.” He sat down on a chair t hat st ood before t he fire, and covered his forehead wit h his large brown veinous hands. I looked at him at t ent ively t hen, and recoiled a lit t le from him ; but I did not know him . “ There's no one nigh,” said he, looking over his shoulder; “ is t here?” “ Why do you, a st ranger com ing int o m y room s at t his t im e of t he night , ask t hat quest ion?” said I . “ You're a gam e one,” he ret urned, shaking his head at m e wit h a deliberat e affect ion, at once m ost unint elligible and m ost exasperat ing; “ I 'm glad you've grow'd up, a gam e one! But don't cat ch hold of m e. You'd be sorry art erwards t o have done it .” I relinquished t he int ent ion he had det ect ed, for I knew him ! Even yet , I could not recall a single feat ure, but I knew him ! I f t he wind and t he rain had driven away t he int ervening years, had scat t ered all t he int ervening obj ect s, had swept us t o t he churchyard where we first st ood face t o face on such different levels, I could not have known m y convict m ore dist inct ly t han I knew him now as he sat in t he chair before t he fire. No need t o t ake a file from his pocket and show it t o m e; no need t o t ake t he handkerchief from his neck and t wist it round his head; no need t o hug him self wit h bot h his arm s, and t ake a shivering t urn across t he room , looking back at m e for recognit ion. I knew him before he gave m e one of t hose aids, t hough, a m om ent before, I had not been conscious of rem ot ely suspect ing his ident it y. 445

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He cam e back t o where I st ood, and again held out bot h his hands. Not knowing what t o do—for, in m y ast onishm ent I had lost m y self- possession—I reluct ant ly gave him m y hands. He grasped t hem heart ily, raised t hem t o his lips, kissed t hem , and st ill held t hem . “ You act ed noble, m y boy,” said he. “ Noble, Pip! And I have never forgot it ! ” At a change in his m anner as if he were even going t o em brace m e, I laid a hand upon his breast and put him away. “ St ay! ” said I . “ Keep off! I f you are grat eful t o m e for what I did when I was a lit t le child, I hope you have shown your grat it ude by m ending your way of life. I f you have com e here t o t hank m e, it was not necessary. St ill, however you have found m e out , t here m ust be som et hing good in t he feeling t hat has brought you here, and I will not repulse you; but surely you m ust underst and t hat —I —” My at t ent ion was so at t ract ed by t he singularit y of his fixed look at m e, t hat t he words died away on m y t ongue. “ You was a saying,” he observed, when we had confront ed one anot her in silence, “ t hat surely I m ust underst and. What , surely m ust I underst and?” “ That I cannot wish t o renew t hat chance int ercourse wit h you of long ago, under t hese different circum st ances. I am glad t o believe you have repent ed and recovered yourself. I am glad t o t ell you so. I am glad t hat , t hinking I deserve t o be t hanked, you have com e t o t hank m e. But our ways are different ways, none t he less. You are wet , and you look weary. Will you drink som et hing before you go?” 446

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He had replaced his neckerchief loosely, and had st ood, keenly observant of m e, bit ing a long end of it . “ I t hink,” he answered, st ill wit h t he end at his m out h and st ill observant of m e, “ t hat I will drink ( I t hank you) afore I go.” There was a t ray ready on a side- t able. I brought it t o t he t able near t he fire, and asked him what he would have? He t ouched one of t he bot t les wit hout looking at it or speaking, and I m ade him som e hot rum - and- wat er. I t ried t o keep m y hand st eady while I did so, but his look at m e as he leaned back in his chair wit h t he long draggled end of his neckerchief bet ween his t eet h—evident ly forgot t en—m ade m y hand very difficult t o m ast er. When at last I put t he glass t o him , I saw wit h am azem ent t hat his eyes were full of t ears. Up t o t his t im e I had rem ained st anding, not t o disguise t hat I wished him gone. But I was soft ened by t he soft ened aspect of t he m an, and felt a t ouch of reproach. “ I hope,” said I , hurriedly put t ing som et hing int o a glass for m yself, and drawing a chair t o t he t able, “ t hat you will not t hink I spoke harshly t o you j ust now. I had no int ent ion of doing it , and I am sorry for it if I did. I wish you well, and happy! ” As I put m y glass t o m y lips, he glanced wit h surprise at t he end of his neckerchief, dropping from his m out h when he opened it , and st ret ched out his hand. I gave him m ine, and t hen he drank, and drew his sleeve across his eyes and forehead. “ How are you living?” I asked him . “ I 've been a sheep- farm er, st ock- breeder, ot her t rades besides, away in t he new world,” said he: “ m any a t housand m ile of st orm y wat er off from t his.” 447

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“ I hope you have done well?” “ I 've done wonderfully well. There's ot hers went out alonger m e as has done well t oo, but no m an has done nigh as well as m e. I 'm fam ous for it .” “ I am glad t o hear it .” “ I hope t o hear you say so, m y dear boy.” Wit hout st opping t o t ry t o underst and t hose words or t he t one in which t hey were spoken, I t urned off t o a point t hat had j ust com e int o m y m ind. “ Have you ever seen a m essenger you once sent t o m e,” I inquired, “ since he undert ook t hat t rust ?” “ Never set eyes upon him . I warn't likely t o it .” “ He cam e fait hfully, and he brought m e t he t wo one- pound not es. I was a poor boy t hen, as you know, and t o a poor boy t hey were a lit t le fort une. But , like you, I have done well since, and you m ust let m e pay t hem back. You can put t hem t o som e ot her poor boy's use.” I t ook out m y purse. He wat ched m e as I laid m y purse upon t he t able and opened it , and he wat ched m e as I separat ed t wo one- pound not es from it s cont ent s. They were clean and new, and I spread t hem out and handed t hem over t o him . St ill wat ching m e, he laid t hem one upon t he ot her, folded t hem long- wise, gave t hem a t wist , set fire t o t hem at t he lam p, and dropped t he ashes int o t he t ray. “ May I m ake so bold,” he said t hen, wit h a sm ile t hat was like a frown, and wit h a frown t hat was like a sm ile, “ as ask you how you have done well, since you and m e was out on t hem lone shivering m arshes?” “ How?” 448

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“ Ah! ” He em pt ied his glass, got up, and st ood at t he side of t he fire, wit h his heavy brown hand on t he m ant elshelf. He put a foot up t o t he bars, t o dry and warm it , and t he wet boot began t o st eam ; but , he neit her looked at it , nor at t he fire, but st eadily looked at m e. I t was only now t hat I began t o t rem ble. When m y lips had part ed, and had shaped som e words t hat were wit hout sound, I forced m yself t o t ell him ( t hough I could not do it dist inct ly) , t hat I had been chosen t o succeed t o som e propert y. “ Might a m ere warm int ask what propert y?” said he. I falt ered, “ I don't know.” “ Might a m ere warm int ask whose propert y?” said he. I falt ered again, “ I don't know.” “ Could I m ake a guess, I wonder,” said t he Convict , “ at your incom e since you com e of age! As t o t he first figure now. Five?” Wit h m y heart beat ing like a heavy ham m er of disordered act ion, I rose out of m y chair, and st ood wit h m y hand upon t he back of it , looking wildly at him . “ Concerning a guardian,” he went on. “ There ought t o have been som e guardian, or such- like, whiles you was a m inor. Som e lawyer, m aybe. As t o t he first let t er of t hat lawyer's nam e now. Would it be J?” All t he t rut h of m y posit ion cam e flashing on m e; and it s disappoint m ent s, dangers, disgraces, consequences of all kinds, rushed in in such a m ult it ude t hat I was borne down by t hem and had t o st ruggle for every breat h I drew. 449

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“ Put it ,” he resum ed, “ as t he em ployer of t hat lawyer whose nam e begun wit h a J, and m ight be Jaggers—put it as he had com e over sea t o Port sm out h, and had landed t here, and had want ed t o com e on t o you. ‘However, you have found m e out ,’ you says j ust now. Well! However, did I find you out ? Why, I wrot e from Port sm out h t o a person in London, for part iculars of your address. That person's nam e? Why, Wem m ick.” I could not have spoken one word, t hough it had been t o save m y life. I st ood, wit h a hand on t he chair- back and a hand on m y breast , where I seem ed t o be suffocat ing—I st ood so, looking wildly at him , unt il I grasped at t he chair, when t he room began t o surge and t urn. He caught m e, drew m e t o t he sofa, put m e up against t he cushions, and bent on one knee before m e: bringing t he face t hat I now well rem em bered, and t hat I shuddered at , very near t o m ine. “ Yes, Pip, dear boy, I 've m ade a gent lem an on you! I t 's m e wot has done it ! I swore t hat t im e, sure as ever I earned a guinea, t hat guinea should go t o you. I swore art erwards, sure as ever I spec'lat ed and got rich, you should get rich. I lived rough, t hat you should live sm oot h; I worked hard, t hat you should be above work. What odds, dear boy? Do I t ell it , fur you t o feel a obligat ion? Not a bit . I t ell it , fur you t o know as t hat t here hunt ed dunghill dog wot you kep life in, got his head so high t hat he could m ake a gent lem an—and, Pip, you're him ! ” The abhorrence in which I held t he m an, t he dread I had of him , t he repugnance wit h which I shrank from him , could not have been exceeded if he had been som e t errible beast . 450

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“ Look'ee here, Pip. I 'm your second fat her. You're m y son—m ore t o m e nor any son. I 've put away m oney, only for you t o spend. When I was a hired- out shepherd in a solit ary hut , not seeing no faces but faces of sheep t ill I half forgot wot m en's and wom en's faces wos like, I see yourn. I drops m y knife m any a t im e in t hat hut when I was a- eat ing m y dinner or m y supper, and I says, ‘Here's t he boy again, alooking at m e whiles I eat s and drinks! ’ I see you t here a m any t im es, as plain as ever I see you on t hem m ist y m arshes. ‘Lord st rike m e dead! ’ I says each t im e—and I goes out in t he air t o say it under t he open heavens—'but wot , if I get s libert y and m oney, I 'll m ake t hat boy a gent lem an! ’ And I done it . Why, look at you, dear boy! Look at t hese here lodgings o'yourn, fit for a lord! A lord? Ah! You shall show m oney wit h lords for wagers, and beat ‘em ! ” I n his heat and t rium ph, and in his knowledge t hat I had been nearly faint ing, he did not rem ark on m y recept ion of all t his. I t was t he one grain of relief I had. “ Look'ee here! ” he went on, t aking m y wat ch out of m y pocket , and t urning t owards him a ring on m y finger, while I recoiled from his t ouch as if he had been a snake, “ a gold ‘un and a beaut y: t hat 's a gent lem an's, I hope! A diam ond all set round wit h rubies; t hat 's a gent lem an's, I hope! Look at your linen; fine and beaut iful! Look at your clot hes; bet t er ain't t o be got ! And your books t oo,” t urning his eyes round t he room , “ m ount ing up, on t heir shelves, by hundreds! And you read ‘em ; don't you? I see you'd been a reading of ‘em when I com e in. Ha, ha, ha! You shall read ‘em t o m e, dear boy! 451

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And if t hey're in foreign languages wot I don't underst and, I shall be j ust as proud as if I did.” Again he t ook bot h m y hands and put t hem t o his lips, while m y blood ran cold wit hin m e. “ Don't you m ind t alking, Pip,” said he, aft er again drawing his sleeve over his eyes and forehead, as t he click cam e in his t hroat which I well rem em bered—and he was all t he m ore horrible t o m e t hat he was so m uch in earnest ; “ you can't do bet t er nor keep quiet , dear boy. You ain't looked slowly forward t o t his as I have; you wosn't prepared for t his, as I wos. But didn't you never t hink it m ight be m e?” “ O no, no, no,” I ret urned, “ Never, never! ” “ Well, you see it wos m e, and single- handed. Never a soul in it but m y own self and Mr. Jaggers.” “ Was t here no one else?” I asked. “ No,” said he, wit h a glance of surprise: “ who else should t here be? And, dear boy, how good looking you have growed! There's bright eyes som ewheres—eh? I sn't t here bright eyes som ewheres, wot you love t he t hought s on?” O Est ella, Est ella! “ They shall be yourn, dear boy, if m oney can buy ‘em . Not t hat a gent lem an like you, so well set up as you, can't win ‘em off of his own gam e; but m oney shall back you! Let m e finish wot I was a- t elling you, dear boy. From t hat t here hut and t hat t here hiring- out , I got m oney left m e by m y m ast er ( which died, and had been t he sam e as m e) , and got m y libert y and went for m yself. I n every single t hing I went for, I went for you. ‘Lord st rike a blight upon it ,’ I says, wot ever it was I went for, ‘if it ain't for him ! ’ I t all prospered wonderful. 452

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As I giv’ you t o underst and j ust now, I 'm fam ous for it . I t was t he m oney left m e, and t he gains of t he first few year wot I sent hom e t o Mr. Jaggers—all for you—when he first com e art er you, agreeable t o m y let t er.” O, t hat he had never com e! That he had left m e at t he forge—far from cont ent ed, yet , by com parison happy! “ And t hen, dear boy, it was a recom pense t o m e, look'ee here, t o know in secret t hat I was m aking a gent lem an. The blood horses of t hem colonist s m ight fling up t he dust over m e as I was walking; what do I say? I says t o m yself, ‘I 'm m aking a bet t er gent lem an nor ever you'll be! ’ When one of ‘em says t o anot her, ‘He was a convict , a few year ago, and is a ignorant com m on fellow now, for all he's lucky,’ what do I say? I says t o m yself, ‘I f I ain't a gent lem an, nor yet ain't got no learning, I 'm t he owner of such. All on you owns st ock and land; which on you owns a brought - up London gent lem an?’ This way I kep m yself a- going. And t his way I held st eady afore m y m ind t hat I would for cert ain com e one day and see m y boy, and m ake m yself known t o him , on his own ground.” He laid his hand on m y shoulder. I shuddered at t he t hought t hat for anyt hing I knew, his hand m ight be st ained wit h blood. “ I t warn't easy, Pip, for m e t o leave t hem part s, nor yet it warn't safe. But I held t o it , and t he harder it was, t he st ronger I held, for I was det erm ined, and m y m ind firm m ade up. At last I done it . Dear boy, I done it ! ” I t ried t o collect m y t hought s, but I was st unned. Throughout , I had seem ed t o m yself t o at t end m ore t o t he wind and t he rain t han t o him ; even now, I could not separat e 453

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his voice from t hose voices, t hough t hose were loud and his was silent . “ Where will you put m e?” he asked, present ly. “ I m ust be put som ewheres, dear boy.” “ To sleep?” said I . “ Yes. And t o sleep long and sound,” he answered; “ for I 've been sea- t ossed and sea- washed, m ont hs and m ont hs.” “ My friend and com panion,” said I , rising from t he sofa, “ is absent ; you m ust have his room .” “ He won't com e back t o- m orrow; will he?” “ No,” said I , answering alm ost m echanically, in spit e of m y ut m ost effort s; “ not t o- m orrow.” “ Because, look'ee here, dear boy,” he said, dropping his voice, and laying a long finger on m y breast in an im pressive m anner, “ caut ion is necessary.” “ How do you m ean? Caut ion?” “ By G—, it 's Deat h! ” “ What 's deat h?” “ I was sent for life. I t 's deat h t o com e back. There's been overm uch com ing back of lat e years, and I should of a cert aint y be hanged if t ook.” Not hing was needed but t his; t he wret ched m an, aft er loading wret ched m e wit h his gold and silver chains for years, had risked his life t o com e t o m e, and I held it t here in m y keeping! I f I had loved him inst ead of abhorring him ; if I had been at t ract ed t o him by t he st rongest adm irat ion and affect ion, inst ead of shrinking from him wit h t he st rongest repugnance; it could have been no worse. On t he cont rary, it 454

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would have been bet t er, for his preservat ion would t hen have nat urally and t enderly addressed m y heart . My first care was t o close t he shut t ers, so t hat no light m ight be seen from wit hout , and t hen t o close and m ake fast t he doors. While I did so, he st ood at t he t able drinking rum and eat ing biscuit ; and when I saw him t hus engaged, I saw m y convict on t he m arshes at his m eal again. I t alm ost seem ed t o m e as if he m ust st oop down present ly, t o file at his leg. When I had gone int o Herbert 's room , and had shut off any ot her com m unicat ion bet ween it and t he st aircase t han t hrough t he room in which our conversat ion had been held, I asked him if he would go t o bed? He said yes, but asked m e for som e of m y “ gent lem an's linen” t o put on in t he m orning. I brought it out , and laid it ready for him , and m y blood again ran cold when he again t ook m e by bot h hands t o give m e good night . I got away from him , wit hout knowing how I did it , and m ended t he fire in t he room where we had been t oget her, and sat down by it , afraid t o go t o bed. For an hour or m ore, I rem ained t oo st unned t o t hink; and it was not unt il I began t o t hink, t hat I began fully t o know how wrecked I was, and how t he ship in which I had sailed was gone t o pieces. Miss Havisham 's int ent ions t owards m e, all a m ere dream ; Est ella not designed for m e; I only suffered in Sat is House as a convenience, a st ing for t he greedy relat ions, a m odel wit h a m echanical heart t o pract ise on when no ot her pract ice was at hand; t hose were t he first sm art s I had. But , sharpest and deepest pain of all—it was for t he convict , guilt y of I knew not 455

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what crim es, and liable t o be t aken out of t hose room s where I sat t hinking, and hanged at t he Old Bailey door, t hat I had desert ed Joe. I would not have gone back t o Joe now, I would not have gone back t o Biddy now, for any considerat ion: sim ply, I suppose, because m y sense of m y own wort hless conduct t o t hem was great er t han every considerat ion. No wisdom on eart h could have given m e t he com fort t hat I should have derived from t heir sim plicit y and fidelit y; but I could never, never, undo what I had done. I n every rage of wind and rush of rain, I heard pursuers. Twice, I could have sworn t here was a knocking and whispering at t he out er door. Wit h t hese fears upon m e, I began eit her t o im agine or recall t hat I had had m yst erious warnings of t his m an's approach. That , for weeks gone by, I had passed faces in t he st reet s which I had t hought like his. That , t hese likenesses had grown m ore num erous, as he, com ing over t he sea, had drawn nearer. That , his wicked spirit had som ehow sent t hese m essengers t o m ine, and t hat now on t his st orm y night he was as good as his word, and wit h m e. Crowding up wit h t hese reflect ions cam e t he reflect ion t hat I had seen him wit h m y childish eyes t o be a desperat ely violent m an; t hat I had heard t hat ot her convict reit erat e t hat he had t ried t o m urder him ; t hat I had seen him down in t he dit ch t earing and fight ing like a wild beast . Out of such rem em brances I brought int o t he light of t he fire, a halfform ed t error t hat it m ight not be safe t o be shut up t here wit h him in t he dead of t he wild solit ary night . This dilat ed 456

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unt il it filled t he room , and im pelled m e t o t ake a candle and go in and look at m y dreadful burden. He had rolled a handkerchief round his head, and his face was set and lowering in his sleep. But he was asleep, and quiet ly t oo, t hough he had a pist ol lying on t he pillow. Assured of t his, I soft ly rem oved t he key t o t he out side of his door, and t urned it on him before I again sat down by t he fire. Gradually I slipped from t he chair and lay on t he floor. When I awoke, wit hout having part ed in m y sleep wit h t he percept ion of m y wret chedness, t he clocks of t he East ward churches were st riking five, t he candles were wast ed out , t he fire was dead, and t he wind and rain int ensified t he t hick black darkness. THI S I S THE END OF THE SECOND STAGE OF PI P'S EXPECTATI ONS.

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Chapt er 40 I t was fort unat e for m e t hat I had t o t ake precaut ions t o ensure ( so far as I could) t he safet y of m y dreaded visit or; for, t his t hought pressing on m e when I awoke, held ot her t hought s in a confused concourse at a dist ance. The im possibilit y of keeping him concealed in t he cham bers was self- evident . I t could not be done, and t he at t em pt t o do it would inevit ably engender suspicion. True, I had no Avenger in m y service now, but I was looked aft er by an inflam m at ory old fem ale, assist ed by an anim at ed rag- bag whom she called her niece, and t o keep a room secret from t hem would be t o invit e curiosit y and exaggerat ion. They bot h had weak eyes, which I had long at t ribut ed t o t heir chronically looking in at keyholes, and t hey were always at hand when not want ed; indeed t hat was t heir only reliable qualit y besides larceny. Not t o get up a m yst ery wit h t hese people, I resolved t o announce in t he m orning t hat m y uncle had unexpect edly com e from t he count ry. This course I decided on while I was yet groping about in t he darkness for t he m eans of get t ing a light . Not st um bling on t he m eans aft er all, I was fain t o go out t o t he adj acent Lodge and get t he wat chm an t here t o com e wit h his lant ern. Now, in groping m y way down t he black st aircase I fell over som et hing, and t hat som et hing was a m an crouching in a corner. As t he m an m ade no answer when I asked him what he did t here, but eluded m y t ouch in silence, I ran t o t he Lodge and 458

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urged t he wat chm an t o com e quickly: t elling him of t he incident on t he way back. The wind being as fierce as ever, we did not care t o endanger t he light in t he lant ern by rekindling t he ext inguished lam ps on t he st aircase, but we exam ined t he st aircase from t he bot t om t o t he t op and found no one t here. I t t hen occurred t o m e as possible t hat t he m an m ight have slipped int o m y room s; so, light ing m y candle at t he wat chm an's, and leaving him st anding at t he door, I exam ined t hem carefully, including t he room in which m y dreaded guest lay asleep. All was quiet , and assuredly no ot her m an was in t hose cham bers. I t t roubled m e t hat t here should have been a lurker on t he st airs, on t hat night of all night s in t he year, and I asked t he wat chm an, on t he chance of elicit ing som e hopeful explanat ion as I handed him a dram at t he door, whet her he had adm it t ed at his gat e any gent lem an who had percept ibly been dining out ? Yes, he said; at different t im es of t he night , t hree. One lived in Fount ain Court , and t he ot her t wo lived in t he Lane, and he had seen t hem all go hom e. Again, t he only ot her m an who dwelt in t he house of which m y cham bers form ed a part , had been in t he count ry for som e weeks; and he cert ainly had not ret urned in t he night , because we had seen his door wit h his seal on it as we cam e up- st airs. “ The night being so bad, sir,” said t he wat chm an, as he gave m e back m y glass, “ uncom m on few have com e in at m y gat e. Besides t hem t hree gent lem en t hat I have nam ed, I don't call t o m ind anot her since about eleven o'clock, when a st ranger asked for you.” “ My uncle,” I m ut t ered. “ Yes.” 459

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“ You saw him , sir?” “ Yes. Oh yes.” “ Likewise t he person wit h him ?” “ Person wit h him ! ” I repeat ed. “ I j udged t he person t o be wit h him ,” ret urned t he wat chm an. “ The person st opped, when he st opped t o m ake inquiry of m e, and t he person t ook t his way when he t ook t his way.” “ What sort of person?” The wat chm an had not part icularly not iced; he should say a working person; t o t he best of his belief, he had a dust coloured kind of clot hes on, under a dark coat . The wat chm an m ade m ore light of t he m at t er t han I did, and nat urally; not having m y reason for at t aching weight t o it . When I had got rid of him , which I t hought it well t o do wit hout prolonging explanat ions, m y m ind was m uch t roubled by t hese t wo circum st ances t aken t oget her. Whereas t hey were easy of innocent solut ion apart —as, for inst ance, som e diner- out or diner- at - hom e, who had not gone near t his wat chm an's gat e, m ight have st rayed t o m y st aircase and dropped asleep t here—and m y nam eless visit or m ight have brought som e one wit h him t o show him t he way—st ill, j oined, t hey had an ugly look t o one as prone t o dist rust and fear as t he changes of a few hours had m ade m e. I light ed m y fire, which burnt wit h a raw pale flare at t hat t im e of t he m orning, and fell int o a doze before it . I seem ed t o have been dozing a whole night when t he clocks st ruck six. As t here was full an hour and a half bet ween m e and daylight , I dozed again; now, waking up uneasily, wit h prolix 460

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conversat ions about not hing, in m y ears; now, m aking t hunder of t he wind in t he chim ney; at lengt h, falling off int o a profound sleep from which t he daylight woke m e wit h a st art . All t his t im e I had never been able t o consider m y own sit uat ion, nor could I do so yet . I had not t he power t o at t end t o it . I was great ly dej ect ed and dist ressed, but in an incoherent wholesale sort of way. As t o form ing any plan for t he fut ure, I could as soon have form ed an elephant . When I opened t he shut t ers and looked out at t he wet wild m orning, all of a leaden hue; when I walked from room t o room ; when I sat down again shivering, before t he fire, wait ing for m y laundress t o appear; I t hought how m iserable I was, but hardly knew why, or how long I had been so, or on what day of t he week I m ade t he reflect ion, or even who I was t hat m ade it . At last , t he old wom an and t he niece cam e in—t he lat t er wit h a head not easily dist inguishable from her dust y broom — and t est ified surprise at sight of m e and t he fire. To whom I im part ed how m y uncle had com e in t he night and was t hen asleep, and how t he breakfast preparat ions were t o be m odified accordingly. Then, I washed and dressed while t hey knocked t he furnit ure about and m ade a dust ; and so, in a sort of dream or sleep- waking, I found m yself sit t ing by t he fire again, wait ing for—Him —t o com e t o breakfast . By- and- by, his door opened and he cam e out . I could not bring m yself t o bear t he sight of him , and I t hought he had a worse look by daylight . 461

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“ I do not even know,” said I , speaking low as he t ook his seat at t he t able, “ by what nam e t o call you. I have given out t hat you are m y uncle.” “ That 's it , dear boy! Call m e uncle.” “ You assum ed som e nam e, I suppose, on board ship?” “ Yes, dear boy. I t ook t he nam e of Provis.” “ Do you m ean t o keep t hat nam e?” “ Why, yes, dear boy, it 's as good as anot her—unless you'd like anot her.” “ What is your real nam e?” I asked him in a whisper. “ Magwit ch,” he answered, in t he sam e t one; “ chrisen'd Abel.” “ What were you brought up t o be?” “ A warm int , dear boy.” He answered quit e seriously, and used t he word as if it denot ed som e profession. “ When you cam e int o t he Tem ple last night —” said I , pausing t o wonder whet her t hat could really have been last night , which seem ed so long ago. “ Yes, dear boy?” “ When you cam e in at t he gat e and asked t he wat chm an t he way here, had you any one wit h you?” “ Wit h m e? No, dear boy.” “ But t here was som e one t here?” “ I didn't t ake part icular not ice,” he said, dubiously, “ not knowing t he ways of t he place. But I t hink t here was a person, t oo, com e in alonger m e.” “ Are you known in London?” 462

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“ I hope not ! ” said he, giving his neck a j erk wit h his forefinger t hat m ade m e t urn hot and sick. “ Were you known in London, once?” “ Not over and above, dear boy. I was in t he provinces m ost ly.” “ Were you—t ried—in London?” “ Which t im e?” said he, wit h a sharp look. “ The last t im e.” He nodded. “ First knowed Mr. Jaggers t hat way. Jaggers was for m e.” I t was on m y lips t o ask him what he was t ried for, but he t ook up a knife, gave it a flourish, and wit h t he words, “ And what I done is worked out and paid for! ” fell t o at his breakfast . He at e in a ravenous way t hat was very disagreeable, and all his act ions were uncout h, noisy, and greedy. Som e of his t eet h had failed him since I saw him eat on t he m arshes, and as he t urned his food in his m out h, and t urned his head sideways t o bring his st rongest fangs t o bear upon it , he looked t erribly like a hungry old dog. I f I had begun wit h any appet it e, he would have t aken it away, and I should have sat m uch as I did—repelled from him by an insurm ount able aversion, and gloom ily looking at t he clot h. “ I 'm a heavy grubber, dear boy,” he said, as a polit e kind of apology when he m ade an end of his m eal, “ but I always was. I f it had been in m y const it ut ion t o be a light er grubber, I m ight ha’ got int o light er t rouble. Sim ilarly, I m ust have m y sm oke. When I was first hired out as shepherd t 'ot her side 463

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t he world, it 's m y belief I should ha’ t urned int o a m olloncollym ad sheep m yself, if I hadn't a had m y sm oke.” As he said so, he got up from t he t able, and put t ing his hand int o t he breast of t he pea- coat he wore, brought out a short black pipe, and a handful of loose t obacco of t he kind t hat is called Negro- head. Having filled his pipe, he put t he surplus t obacco back again, as if his pocket were a drawer. Then, he t ook a live coal from t he fire wit h t he t ongs, and light ed his pipe at it , and t hen t urned round on t he heart h- rug wit h his back t o t he fire, and went t hrough his favourit e act ion of holding out bot h his hands for m ine. “ And t his,” said he, dandling m y hands up and down in his, as he puffed at his pipe; “ and t his is t he gent lem an what I m ade! The real genuine One! I t does m e good fur t o look at you, Pip. All I st ip'lat e, is, t o st and by and look at you, dear boy! ” I released m y hands as soon as I could, and found t hat I was beginning slowly t o set t le down t o t he cont em plat ion of m y condit ion. What I was chained t o, and how heavily, becam e int elligible t o m e, as I heard his hoarse voice, and sat looking up at his furrowed bald head wit h it s iron grey hair at t he sides. “ I m ust n't see m y gent lem an a foot ing it in t he m ire of t he st reet s; t here m ust n't be no m ud on his boot s. My gent lem an m ust have horses, Pip! Horses t o ride, and horses t o drive, and horses for his servant t o ride and drive as well. Shall colonist s have t heir horses ( and blood ‘uns, if you please, good Lord! ) and not m y London gent lem an? No, no. We'll show ‘em anot her pair of shoes t han t hat , Pip; won't us?” 464

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He t ook out of his pocket a great t hick pocket - book, burst ing wit h papers, and t ossed it on t he t able. “ There's som et hing wort h spending in t hat t here book, dear boy. I t 's yourn. All I 've got ain't m ine; it 's yourn. Don't you be afeerd on it . There's m ore where t hat com e from . I 've com e t o t he old count ry fur t o see m y gent lem an spend his m oney like a gent lem an. That 'll be m y pleasure. My pleasure ‘ull be fur t o see him do it . And blast you all! ” he wound up, looking round t he room and snapping his fingers once wit h a loud snap, “ blast you every one, from t he j udge in his wig, t o t he colonist a st irring up t he dust , I 'll show a bet t er gent lem an t han t he whole kit on you put t oget her! ” “ St op! ” said I , alm ost in a frenzy of fear and dislike, “ I want t o speak t o you. I want t o know what is t o be done. I want t o know how you are t o be kept out of danger, how long you are going t o st ay, what proj ect s you have.” “ Look'ee here, Pip,” said he, laying his hand on m y arm in a suddenly alt ered and subdued m anner; “ first of all, look'ee here. I forgot m yself half a m inut e ago. What I said was low; t hat 's what it was; low. Look'ee here, Pip. Look over it . I ain't a- going t o be low.” “ First ,” I resum ed, half- groaning, “ what precaut ions can be t aken against your being recognized and seized?” “ No, dear boy,” he said, in t he sam e t one as before, “ t hat don't go first . Lowness goes first . I ain't t ook so m any years t o m ake a gent lem an, not wit hout knowing what 's due t o him . Look'ee here, Pip. I was low; t hat 's what I was; low. Look over it , dear boy.” 465

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Som e sense of t he grim ly- ludicrous m oved m e t o a fret ful laugh, as I replied, “ I have looked over it . I n Heaven's nam e, don't harp upon it ! ” “ Yes, but look'ee here,” he persist ed. “ Dear boy, I ain't com e so fur, not fur t o be low. Now, go on, dear boy. You was a- saying—” “ How are you t o be guarded from t he danger you have incurred?” “ Well, dear boy, t he danger ain't so great . Wit hout I was inform ed agen, t he danger ain't so m uch t o signify. There's Jaggers, and t here's Wem m ick, and t here's you. Who else is t here t o inform ?” “ I s t here no chance person who m ight ident ify you in t he st reet ?” said I . “ Well,” he ret urned, “ t here ain't m any. Nor yet I don't int end t o advert ise m yself in t he newspapers by t he nam e of A. M. com e back from Bot any Bay; and years have rolled away, and who's t o gain by it ? St ill, look'ee here, Pip. I f t he danger had been fift y t im es as great , I should ha’ com e t o see you, m ind you, j ust t he sam e.” “ And how long do you rem ain?” “ How long?” said he, t aking his black pipe from his m out h, and dropping his j aw as he st ared at m e. “ I 'm not a- going back. I 've com e for good.” “ Where are you t o live?” said I . “ What is t o be done wit h you? Where will you be safe?” “ Dear boy,” he ret urned, “ t here's disguising wigs can be bought for m oney, and t here's hair powder, and spect acles, and black clot hes—short s and what not . Ot hers has done it 466

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safe afore, and what ot hers has done afore, ot hers can do agen. As t o t he where and how of living, dear boy, give m e your own opinions on it .” “ You t ake it sm oot hly now,” said I , “ but you were very serious last night , when you swore it was Deat h.” “ And so I swear it is Deat h,” said he, put t ing his pipe back in his m out h, “ and Deat h by t he rope, in t he open st reet not fur from t his, and it 's serious t hat you should fully underst and it t o be so. What t hen, when t hat 's once done? Here I am . To go back now, ‘ud be as bad as t o st and ground—worse. Besides, Pip, I 'm here, because I 've m eant it by you, years and years. As t o what I dare, I 'm a old bird now, as has dared all m anner of t raps since first he was fledged, and I 'm not afeerd t o perch upon a scarecrow. I f t here's Deat h hid inside of it , t here is, and let him com e out , and I 'll face him , and t hen I 'll believe in him and not afore. And now let m e have a look at m y gent lem an agen.” Once m ore, he t ook m e by bot h hands and surveyed m e wit h an air of adm iring propriet orship: sm oking wit h great com placency all t he while. I t appeared t o m e t hat I could do no bet t er t han secure him som e quiet lodging hard by, of which he m ight t ake possession when Herbert ret urned: whom I expect ed in t wo or t hree days. That t he secret m ust be confided t o Herbert as a m at t er of unavoidable necessit y, even if I could have put t he im m ense relief I should derive from sharing it wit h him out of t he quest ion, was plain t o m e. But it was by no m eans so plain t o Mr. Provis ( I resolved t o call him by t hat nam e) , who reserved his consent t o Herbert 's part icipat ion unt il he 467

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should have seen him and form ed a favourable j udgm ent of his physiognom y. “ And even t hen, dear boy,” said he, pulling a greasy lit t le clasped black Test am ent out of his pocket , “ we'll have him on his oat h.” To st at e t hat m y t errible pat ron carried t his lit t le black book about t he world solely t o swear people on in cases of em ergency, would be t o st at e what I never quit e est ablished—but t his I can say, t hat I never knew him put it t o any ot her use. The book it self had t he appearance of having been st olen from som e court of j ust ice, and perhaps his knowledge of it s ant ecedent s, com bined wit h his own experience in t hat wise, gave him a reliance on it s powers as a sort of legal spell or charm . On t his first occasion of his producing it , I recalled how he had m ade m e swear fidelit y in t he churchyard long ago, and how he had described him self last night as always swearing t o his resolut ions in his solit ude. As he was at present dressed in a seafaring slop suit , in which he looked as if he had som e parrot s and cigars t o dispose of, I next discussed wit h him what dress he should wear. He cherished an ext raordinary belief in t he virt ues of “ short s” as a disguise, and had in his own m ind sket ched a dress for him self t hat would have m ade him som et hing bet ween a dean and a dent ist . I t was wit h considerable difficult y t hat I won him over t o t he assum pt ion of a dress m ore like a prosperous farm er's; and we arranged t hat he should cut his hair close, and wear a lit t le powder. Last ly, as he had not yet been seen by t he laundress or her niece, he was t o keep him self out of t heir view unt il his change of dress was m ade. 468

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I t would seem a sim ple m at t er t o decide on t hese precaut ions; but in m y dazed, not t o say dist ract ed, st at e, it t ook so long, t hat I did not get out t o furt her t hem , unt il t wo or t hree in t he aft ernoon. He was t o rem ain shut up in t he cham bers while I was gone, and was on no account t o open t he door. There being t o m y knowledge a respect able lodging- house in Essex- st reet , t he back of which looked int o t he Tem ple, and was alm ost wit hin hail of m y windows, I first of all repaired t o t hat house, and was so fort unat e as t o secure t he second floor for m y uncle, Mr. Provis. I t hen went from shop t o shop, m aking such purchases as were necessary t o t he change in his appearance. This business t ransact ed, I t urned m y face, on m y own account , t o Lit t le Brit ain. Mr. Jaggers was at his desk, but , seeing m e ent er, got up im m ediat ely and st ood before his fire. “ Now, Pip,” said he, “ be careful.” “ I will, sir,” I ret urned. For, com ing along I had t hought well of what I was going t o say. “ Don't com m it yourself,” said Mr. Jaggers, “ and don't com m it any one. You underst and—any one. Don't t ell m e anyt hing: I don't want t o know anyt hing; I am not curious.” Of course I saw t hat he knew t he m an was com e. “ I m erely want , Mr. Jaggers,” said I , “ t o assure m yself t hat what I have been t old, is t rue. I have no hope of it s being unt rue, but at least I m ay verify it .” Mr. Jaggers nodded. “ But did you say ‘t old’ or ‘inform ed'?” he asked m e, wit h his head on one side, and not looking at m e, but looking in a list ening way at t he floor. “ Told would 469

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seem t o im ply verbal com m unicat ion. You can't have verbal com m unicat ion wit h a m an in New Sout h Wales, you know.” “ I will say, inform ed, Mr. Jaggers.” “ Good.” “ I have been inform ed by a person nam ed Abel Magwit ch, t hat he is t he benefact or so long unknown t o m e.” “ That is t he m an,” said Mr. Jaggers," —in New Sout h Wales.” “ And only he?” said I . “ And only he,” said Mr. Jaggers. “ I am not so unreasonable, sir, as t o t hink you at all responsible for m y m ist akes and wrong conclusions; but I always supposed it was Miss Havisham .” “ As you say, Pip,” ret urned Mr. Jaggers, t urning his eyes upon m e coolly, and t aking a bit e at his forefinger, “ I am not at all responsible for t hat .” “ And yet it looked so like it , sir,” I pleaded wit h a downcast heart . “ Not a part icle of evidence, Pip,” said Mr. Jaggers, shaking his head and gat hering up his skirt s. “ Take not hing on it s looks; t ake everyt hing on evidence. There's no bet t er rule.” “ I have no m ore t o say,” said I , wit h a sigh, aft er st anding silent for a lit t le while. “ I have verified m y inform at ion, and t here's an end.” “ And Magwit ch—in New Sout h Wales—having at last disclosed him self,” said Mr. Jaggers, “ you will com prehend, Pip, how rigidly t hroughout m y com m unicat ion wit h you, I have always adhered t o t he st rict line of fact . There has never 470

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been t he least depart ure from t he st rict line of fact . You are quit e aware of t hat ?” “ Quit e, sir.” “ I com m unicat ed t o Magwit ch—in New Sout h Wales—when he first wrot e t o m e—from New Sout h Wales—t he caut ion t hat he m ust not expect m e ever t o deviat e from t he st rict line of fact . I also com m unicat ed t o him anot her caut ion. He appeared t o m e t o have obscurely hint ed in his let t er at som e dist ant idea he had of seeing you in England here. I caut ioned him t hat I m ust hear no m ore of t hat ; t hat he was not at all likely t o obt ain a pardon; t hat he was expat riat ed for t he t erm of his nat ural life; and t hat his present ing him self in t his count ry would be an act of felony, rendering him liable t o t he ext rem e penalt y of t he law. I gave Magwit ch t hat caut ion,” said Mr. Jaggers, looking hard at m e; “ I wrot e it t o New Sout h Wales. He guided him self by it , no doubt .” “ No doubt ,” said I . “ I have been inform ed by Wem m ick,” pursued Mr. Jaggers, st ill looking hard at m e, “ t hat he has received a let t er, under dat e Port sm out h, from a colonist of t he nam e of Purvis, or—” “ Or Provis,” I suggest ed. “ Or Provis—t hank you, Pip. Perhaps it is Provis? Perhaps you know it 's Provis?” “ Yes,” said I . “ You know it 's Provis. A let t er, under dat e Port sm out h, from a colonist of t he nam e of Provis, asking for t he part iculars of your address, on behalf of Magwit ch. Wem m ick sent him t he part iculars, I underst and, by ret urn of post . 471

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Probably it is t hrough Provis t hat you have received t he explanat ion of Magwit ch—in New Sout h Wales?” “ I t cam e t hrough Provis,” I replied. “ Good day, Pip,” said Mr. Jaggers, offering his hand; “ glad t o have seen you. I n writ ing by post t o Magwit ch—in New Sout h Wales—or in com m unicat ing wit h him t hrough Provis, have t he goodness t o m ent ion t hat t he part iculars and vouchers of our long account shall be sent t o you, t oget her wit h t he balance; for t here is st ill a balance rem aining. Good day, Pip! ” We shook hands, and he looked hard at m e as long as he could see m e. I t urned at t he door, and he was st ill looking hard at m e, while t he t wo vile cast s on t he shelf seem ed t o be t rying t o get t heir eyelids open, and t o force out of t heir swollen t hroat s, “ O, what a m an he is! ” Wem m ick was out , and t hough he had been at his desk he could have done not hing for m e. I went st raight back t o t he Tem ple, where I found t he t errible Provis drinking rum - andwat er and sm oking negro- head, in safet y. Next day t he clot hes I had ordered, all cam e hom e, and he put t hem on. What ever he put on, becam e him less ( it dism ally seem ed t o m e) t han what he had worn before. To m y t hinking, t here was som et hing in him t hat m ade it hopeless t o at t em pt t o disguise him . The m ore I dressed him and t he bet t er I dressed him , t he m ore he looked like t he slouching fugit ive on t he m arshes. This effect on m y anxious fancy was part ly referable, no doubt , t o his old face and m anner growing m ore fam iliar t o m e; but I believe t oo t hat he dragged one of his legs as if t here were st ill a weight of 472

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iron on it , and t hat from head t o foot t here was Convict in t he very grain of t he m an. The influences of his solit ary hut - life were upon him besides, and gave him a savage air t hat no dress could t am e; added t o t hese, were t he influences of his subsequent branded life am ong m en, and, crowning all, his consciousness t hat he was dodging and hiding now. I n all his ways of sit t ing and st anding, and eat ing and drinking—of brooding about , in a high- shouldered reluct ant st yle—of t aking out his great horn- handled j ack- knife and wiping it on his legs and cut t ing his food—of lift ing light glasses and cups t o his lips, as if t hey were clum sy pannikins—of chopping a wedge off his bread, and soaking up wit h it t he last fragm ent s of gravy round and round his plat e, as if t o m ake t he m ost of an allowance, and t hen drying his finger- ends on it , and t hen swallowing it —in t hese ways and a t housand ot her sm all nam eless inst ances arising every m inut e in t he day, t here was Prisoner, Felon, Bondsm an, plain as plain could be. I t had been his own idea t o wear t hat t ouch of powder, and I had conceded t he powder aft er overcom ing t he short s. But I can com pare t he effect of it , when on, t o not hing but t he probable effect of rouge upon t he dead; so awful was t he m anner in which everyt hing in him t hat it was m ost desirable t o repress, st art ed t hrough t hat t hin layer of pret ence, and seem ed t o com e blazing out at t he crown of his head. I t was abandoned as soon as t ried, and he wore his grizzled hair cut short . Words cannot t ell what a sense I had, at t he sam e t im e, of t he dreadful m yst ery t hat he was t o m e. When he fell asleep 473

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of an evening, wit h his knot t ed hands clenching t he sides of t he easy- chair, and his bald head t at t ooed wit h deep wrinkles falling forward on his breast , I would sit and look at him , wondering what he had done, and loading him wit h all t he crim es in t he Calendar, unt il t he im pulse was powerful on m e t o st art up and fly from him . Every hour so increased m y abhorrence of him , t hat I even t hink I m ight have yielded t o t his im pulse in t he first agonies of being so haunt ed, not wit hst anding all he had done for m e, and t he risk he ran, but for t he knowledge t hat Herbert m ust soon com e back. Once, I act ually did st art out of bed in t he night , and begin t o dress m yself in m y worst clot hes, hurriedly int ending t o leave him t here wit h everyt hing else I possessed, and enlist for I ndia as a privat e soldier. I doubt if a ghost could have been m ore t errible t o m e, up in t hose lonely room s in t he long evenings and long night s, wit h t he wind and t he rain always rushing by. A ghost could not have been t aken and hanged on m y account , and t he considerat ion t hat he could be, and t he dread t hat he would be, were no sm all addit ion t o m y horrors. When he was not asleep, or playing a com plicat ed kind of pat ience wit h a ragged pack of cards of his own—a gam e t hat I never saw before or since, and in which he recorded his winnings by st icking his j ack- knife int o t he t able—when he was not engaged in eit her of t hese pursuit s, he would ask m e t o read t o him —" Foreign language, dear boy! ” While I com plied, he, not com prehending a single word, would st and before t he fire surveying m e wit h t he air of an Exhibit or, and I would see him , bet ween t he fingers of t he hand wit h which I shaded m y 474

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face, appealing in dum b show t o t he furnit ure t o t ake not ice of m y proficiency. The im aginary st udent pursued by t he m isshapen creat ure he had im piously m ade, was not m ore wret ched t han I , pursued by t he creat ure who had m ade m e, and recoiling from him wit h a st ronger repulsion, t he m ore he adm ired m e and t he fonder he was of m e. This is writ t en of, I am sensible, as if it had last ed a year. I t last ed about five days. Expect ing Herbert all t he t im e, I dared not go out , except when I t ook Provis for an airing aft er dark. At lengt h, one evening when dinner was over and I had dropped int o a slum ber quit e worn out —for m y night s had been agit at ed and m y rest broken by fearful dream s—I was roused by t he welcom e foot st ep on t he st aircase. Provis, who had been asleep t oo, st aggered up at t he noise I m ade, and in an inst ant I saw his j ack- knife shining in his hand. “ Quiet ! I t 's Herbert ! ” I said; and Herbert cam e burst ing in, wit h t he airy freshness of six hundred m iles of France upon him . “ Handel, m y dear fellow, how are you, and again how are you, and again how are you? I seem t o have been gone a t welvem ont h! Why, so I m ust have been, for you have grown quit e t hin and pale! Handel, m y—Halloa! I beg your pardon.” He was st opped in his running on and in his shaking hands wit h m e, by seeing Provis. Provis, regarding him wit h a fixed at t ent ion, was slowly put t ing up his j ack- knife, and groping in anot her pocket for som et hing else. “ Herbert , m y dear friend,” said I , shut t ing t he double doors, while Herbert st ood st aring and wondering, “ som et hing very st range has happened. This is—a visit or of m ine.” 475

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“ I t 's all right , dear boy! ” said Provis com ing forward, wit h his lit t le clasped black book, and t hen addressing him self t o Herbert . “ Take it in your right hand. Lord st rike you dead on t he spot , if ever you split in any way sum ever! Kiss it ! ” “ Do so, as he wishes it ,” I said t o Herbert . So, Herbert , looking at m e wit h a friendly uneasiness and am azem ent , com plied, and Provis im m ediat ely shaking hands wit h him , said, “ Now you're on your oat h, you know. And never believe m e on m ine, if Pip shan't m ake a gent lem an on you! ”

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Chapt er 41 I n vain should I at t em pt t o describe t he ast onishm ent and disquiet of Herbert , when he and I and Provis sat down before t he fire, and I recount ed t he whole of t he secret . Enough, t hat I saw m y own feelings reflect ed in Herbert 's face, and, not least am ong t hem , m y repugnance t owards t he m an who had done so m uch for m e. What would alone have set a division bet ween t hat m an and us, if t here had been no ot her dividing circum st ance, was his t rium ph in m y st ory. Saving his t roublesom e sense of having been “ low’ on one occasion since his ret urn—on which point he began t o hold fort h t o Herbert , t he m om ent m y revelat ion was finished—he had no percept ion of t he possibilit y of m y finding any fault wit h m y good fort une. His boast t hat he had m ade m e a gent lem an, and t hat he had com e t o see m e support t he charact er on his am ple resources, was m ade for m e quit e as m uch as for him self; and t hat it was a highly agreeable boast t o bot h of us, and t hat we m ust bot h be very proud of it , was a conclusion quit e est ablished in his own m ind. “ Though, look'ee here, Pip's com rade,” he said t o Herbert , aft er having discoursed for som e t im e, “ I know very well t hat once since I com e back—for half a m inut e—I 've been low. I said t o Pip, I knowed as I had been low. But don't you fret yourself on t hat score. I ain't m ade Pip a gent lem an, and Pip ain't a- going t o m ake you a gent lem an, not fur m e not t o know what 's due t o ye bot h. Dear boy, and Pip's com rade, 477

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you t wo m ay count upon m e always having a gen- t eel m uzzle on. Muzzled I have been since t hat half a m inut e when I was bet rayed int o lowness, m uzzled I am at t he present t im e, m uzzled I ever will be.” Herbert said, “ Cert ainly,” but looked as if t here were no specific consolat ion in t his, and rem ained perplexed and dism ayed. We were anxious for t he t im e when he would go t o his lodging, and leave us t oget her, but he was evident ly j ealous of leaving us t oget her, and sat lat e. I t was m idnight before I t ook him round t o Essex- st reet , and saw him safely in at his own dark door. When it closed upon him , I experienced t he first m om ent of relief I had known since t he night of his arrival. Never quit e free from an uneasy rem em brance of t he m an on t he st airs, I had always looked about m e in t aking m y guest out aft er dark, and in bringing him back; and I looked about m e now. Difficult as it is in a large cit y t o avoid t he suspicion of being wat ched, when t he m ind is conscious of danger in t hat regard, I could not persuade m yself t hat any of t he people wit hin sight cared about m y m ovem ent s. The few who were passing, passed on t heir several ways, and t he st reet was em pt y when I t urned back int o t he Tem ple. Nobody had com e out at t he gat e wit h us, nobody went in at t he gat e wit h m e. As I crossed by t he fount ain, I saw his light ed back windows looking bright and quiet , and, when I st ood for a few m om ent s in t he doorway of t he building where I lived, before going up t he st airs, Garden- court was as st ill and lifeless as t he st aircase was when I ascended it . 478

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Herbert received m e wit h open arm s, and I had never felt before, so blessedly, what it is t o have a friend. When he had spoken som e sound words of sym pat hy and encouragem ent , we sat down t o consider t he quest ion, What was t o be done? The chair t hat Provis had occupied st ill rem aining where it had st ood—for he had a barrack way wit h him of hanging about one spot , in one unset t led m anner, and going t hrough one round of observances wit h his pipe and his negro- head and his j ack- knife and his pack of cards, and what not , as if it were all put down for him on a slat e—I say, his chair rem aining where it had st ood, Herbert unconsciously t ook it , but next m om ent st art ed out of it , pushed it away, and t ook anot her. He had no occasion t o say, aft er t hat , t hat he had conceived an aversion for m y pat ron, neit her had I occasion t o confess m y own. We int erchanged t hat confidence wit hout shaping a syllable. “ What ,” said I t o Herbert , when he was safe in anot her chair, “ what is t o be done?” “ My poor dear Handel,” he replied, holding his head, “ I am t oo st unned t o t hink.” “ So was I , Herbert , when t he blow first fell. St ill, som et hing m ust be done. He is int ent upon various new expenses—horses, and carriages, and lavish appearances of all kinds. He m ust be st opped som ehow.” “ You m ean t hat you can't accept —” “ How can I ?” I int erposed, as Herbert paused. “ Think of him ! Look at him ! ” An involunt ary shudder passed over bot h of us. 479

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“ Yet I am afraid t he dreadful t rut h is, Herbert , t hat he is at t ached t o m e, st rongly at t ached t o m e. Was t here ever such a fat e! ” “ My poor dear Handel,” Herbert repeat ed. “ Then,” said I , “ aft er all, st opping short here, never t aking anot her penny from him , t hink what I owe him already! Then again: I am heavily in debt —very heavily for m e, who have now no expect at ions—and I have been bred t o no calling, and I am fit for not hing.” “ Well, well, well! ” Herbert rem onst rat ed. “ Don't say fit for not hing.” “ What am I fit for? I know only one t hing t hat I am fit for, and t hat is, t o go for a soldier. And I m ight have gone, m y dear Herbert , but for t he prospect of t aking counsel wit h your friendship and affect ion.” Of course I broke down t here: and of course Herbert , beyond seizing a warm grip of m y hand, pret ended not t o know it . “ Anyhow, m y dear Handel,” said he present ly, “ soldiering won't do. I f you were t o renounce t his pat ronage and t hese favours, I suppose you would do so wit h som e faint hope of one day repaying what you have already had. Not very st rong, t hat hope, if you went soldiering! Besides, it 's absurd. You would be infinit ely bet t er in Clarriker's house, sm all as it is. I am working up t owards a part nership, you know.” Poor fellow! He lit t le suspect ed wit h whose m oney. “ But t here is anot her quest ion,” said Herbert . “ This is an ignorant det erm ined m an, who has long had one fixed idea. 480

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More t han t hat , he seem s t o m e ( I m ay m isj udge him ) t o be a m an of a desperat e and fierce charact er.” “ I know he is,” I ret urned. “ Let m e t ell you what evidence I have seen of it .” And I t old him what I had not m ent ioned in m y narrat ive; of t hat encount er wit h t he ot her convict . “ See, t hen,” said Herbert ; “ t hink of t his! He com es here at t he peril of his life, for t he realizat ion of his fixed idea. I n t he m om ent of realizat ion, aft er all his t oil and wait ing, you cut t he ground from under his feet , dest roy his idea, and m ake his gains wort hless t o him . Do you see not hing t hat he m ight do, under t he disappoint m ent ?” “ I have seen it , Herbert , and dream ed of it , ever since t he fat al night of his arrival. Not hing has been in m y t hought s so dist inct ly, as his put t ing him self in t he way of being t aken.” “ Then you m ay rely upon it ,” said Herbert , “ t hat t here would be great danger of his doing it . That is his power over you as long as he rem ains in England, and t hat would be his reckless course if you forsook him .” I was so st ruck by t he horror of t his idea, which had weighed upon m e from t he first , and t he working out of which would m ake m e regard m yself, in som e sort , as his m urderer, t hat I could not rest in m y chair but began pacing t o and fro. I said t o Herbert , m eanwhile, t hat even if Provis were recognized and t aken, in spit e of him self, I should be wret ched as t he cause, however innocent ly. Yes; even t hough I was so wret ched in having him at large and near m e, and even t hough I would far far rat her have worked at t he forge all t he days of m y life t han I would ever have com e t o t his! 481

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But t here was no st aving off t he quest ion, What was t o be done? “ The first and t he m ain t hing t o be done,” said Herbert , “ is t o get him out of England. You will have t o go wit h him , and t hen he m ay be induced t o go.” “ But get him where I will, could I prevent his com ing back?” “ My good Handel, is it not obvious t hat wit h Newgat e in t he next st reet , t here m ust be far great er hazard in your breaking your m ind t o him and m aking him reckless, here, t han elsewhere. I f a pret ext t o get him away could be m ade out of t hat ot her convict , or out of anyt hing else in his life, now.” “ There, again! ” said I , st opping before Herbert , wit h m y open hands held out , as if t hey cont ained t he desperat ion of t he case. “ I know not hing of his life. I t has alm ost m ade m e m ad t o sit here of a night and see him before m e, so bound up wit h m y fort unes and m isfort unes, and yet so unknown t o m e, except as t he m iserable wret ch who t errified m e t wo days in m y childhood! ” Herbert got up, and linked his arm in m ine, and we slowly walked t o and fro t oget her, st udying t he carpet . “ Handel,” said Herbert , st opping, “ you feel convinced t hat you can t ake no furt her benefit s from him ; do you?” “ Fully. Surely you would, t oo, if you were in m y place?” “ And you feel convinced t hat you m ust break wit h him ?” “ Herbert , can you ask m e?” “ And you have, and are bound t o have, t hat t enderness for t he life he has risked on your account , t hat you m ust save 482

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him , if possible, from t hrowing it away. Then you m ust get him out of England before you st ir a finger t o ext ricat e yourself. That done, ext ricat e yourself, in Heaven's nam e, and we'll see it out t oget her, dear old boy.” I t was a com fort t o shake hands upon it , and walk up and down again, wit h only t hat done. “ Now, Herbert ,” said I , “ wit h reference t o gaining som e knowledge of his hist ory. There is but one way t hat I know of. I m ust ask him point - blank.” “ Yes. Ask him ,” said Herbert , “ when we sit at breakfast in t he m orning.” For, he had said, on t aking leave of Herbert , t hat he would com e t o breakfast wit h us. Wit h t his proj ect form ed, we went t o bed. I had t he wildest dream s concerning him , and woke unrefreshed; I woke, t oo, t o recover t he fear which I had lost in t he night , of his being found out as a ret urned t ransport . Waking, I never lost t hat fear. He cam e round at t he appoint ed t im e, t ook out his j ackknife, and sat down t o his m eal. He was full of plans “ for his gent lem an's com ing out st rong, and like a gent lem an,” and urged m e t o begin speedily upon t he pocket - book, which he had left in m y possession. He considered t he cham bers and his own lodging as t em porary residences, and advised m e t o look out at once for a “ fashionable crib’ near Hyde Park, in which he could have “ a shake- down'. When he had m ade an end of his breakfast , and was wiping his knife on his leg, I said t o him , wit hout a word of preface:

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“ Aft er you were gone last night , I t old m y friend of t he st ruggle t hat t he soldiers found you engaged in on t he m arshes, when we cam e up. You rem em ber?” “ Rem em ber! ” said he. “ I t hink so! ” “ We want t o know som et hing about t hat m an—and about you. I t is st range t o know no m ore about eit her, and part icularly you, t han I was able t o t ell last night . I s not t his as good a t im e as anot her for our knowing m ore?” “ Well! ” he said, aft er considerat ion. “ You're on your oat h, you know, Pip's com rade?” “ Assuredly,” replied Herbert . “ As t o anyt hing I say, you know,” he insist ed. “ The oat h applies t o all.” “ I underst and it t o do so.” “ And look'ee here! Wot ever I done, is worked out and paid for,” he insist ed again. “ So be it .” He t ook out his black pipe and was going t o fill it wit h negrohead, when, looking at t he t angle of t obacco in his hand, he seem ed t o t hink it m ight perplex t he t hread of his narrat ive. He put it back again, st uck his pipe in a but t on- hole of his coat , spread a hand on each knee, and, aft er t urning an angry eye on t he fire for a few silent m om ent s, looked round at us and said what follows.

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Chapt er 42 “ Dear boy and Pip's com rade. I am not a- going fur t o t ell you m y life, like a song or a st ory- book. But t o give it you short and handy, I 'll put it at once int o a m out hful of English. I n j ail and out of j ail, in j ail and out of j ail, in j ail and out of j ail. There, you got it . That 's m y life pret t y m uch, down t o such t im es as I got shipped off, art er Pip st ood m y friend. “ I 've been done everyt hing t o, pret t y well—except hanged. I 've been locked up, as m uch as a silver t ea- ket t le. I 've been cart ed here and cart ed t here, and put out of t his t own and put out of t hat t own, and st uck in t he st ocks, and whipped and worried and drove. I 've no m ore not ion where I was born, t han you have—if so m uch. I first becom e aware of m yself, down in Essex, a t hieving t urnips for m y living. Sum m un had run away from m e—a m an—a t inker—and he'd t ook t he fire wit h him , and left m e wery cold. “ I know'd m y nam e t o be Magwit ch, chrisen'd Abel. How did I know it ? Much as I know'd t he birds’ nam es in t he hedges t o be chaffinch, sparrer, t hrush. I m ight have t hought it was all lies t oget her, only as t he birds’ nam es com e out t rue, I supposed m ine did. “ So fur as I could find, t here warn't a soul t hat see young Abel Magwit ch, wit h us lit t le on him as in him , but wot caught fright at him , and eit her drove him off, or t ook him up. I was t ook up, t ook up, t ook up, t o t hat ext ent t hat I reg'larly grow'd up t ook up. 485

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“ This is t he way it was, t hat when I was a ragged lit t le creet ur as m uch t o be pit ied as ever I see ( not t hat I looked in t he glass, for t here warn't m any insides of furnished houses known t o m e) , I got t he nam e of being hardened. “ This is a t errible hardened one,” t hey says t o prison wisit ors, picking out m e. “ May be said t o live in j ails, t his boy. “ Then t hey looked at m e, and I looked at t hem , and t hey m easured m y head, som e on ‘em —t hey had bet t er a- m easured m y st om ach—and ot hers on ‘em giv m e t ract s what I couldn't read, and m ade m e speeches what I couldn't underst and. They always went on agen m e about t he Devil. But what t he Devil was I t o do? I m ust put som et hing int o m y st om ach, m ust n't I ?—Howsom ever, I 'm a get t ing low, and I know what 's due. Dear boy and Pip's com rade, don't you be afeerd of m e being low. “ Tram ping, begging, t hieving, working som et im es when I could—t hough t hat warn't as oft en as you m ay t hink, t ill you put t he quest ion whet her you would ha’ been over- ready t o give m e work yourselves—a bit of a poacher, a bit of a labourer, a bit of a waggoner, a bit of a haym aker, a bit of a hawker, a bit of m ost t hings t hat don't pay and lead t o t rouble, I got t o be a m an. A desert ing soldier in a Traveller's Rest , what lay hid up t o t he chin under a lot of t at urs, learnt m e t o read; and a t ravelling Giant what signed his nam e at a penny a t im e learnt m e t o writ e. I warn't locked up as oft en now as form erly, but I wore out m y good share of keym et al st ill. “ At Epsom races, a m at t er of over t went y years ago, I got acquaint ed wi’ a m an whose skull I 'd crack wi’ t his poker, like 486

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t he claw of a lobst er, if I 'd got it on t his hob. His right nam e was Com peyson; and t hat 's t he m an, dear boy, what you see m e a- pounding in t he dit ch, according t o what you t ruly t old your com rade art er I was gone last night . “ He set up fur a gent lem an, t his Com peyson, and he'd been t o a public boarding- school and had learning. He was a sm oot h one t o t alk, and was a dab at t he ways of gent lefolks. He was good- looking t oo. I t was t he night afore t he great race, when I found him on t he heat h, in a boot h t hat I know'd on. Him and som e m ore was a sit t ing am ong t he t ables when I went in, and t he landlord ( which had a knowledge of m e, and was a sport ing one) called him out , and said, ‘I t hink t his is a m an t hat m ight suit you'—m eaning I was. “ Com peyson, he looks at m e very not icing, and I look at him . He has a wat ch and a chain and a ring and a breast - pin and a handsom e suit of clot hes. “ ‘To j udge from appearances, you're out of luck,’ says Com peyson t o m e. “ ‘Yes, m ast er, and I 've never been in it m uch.’ ( I had com e out of Kingst on Jail last on a vagrancy com m it t al. Not but what it m ight have been for som et hing else; but it warn't .) “ ‘Luck changes,’ says Com peyson; ‘perhaps yours is going t o change.’ “ I says, ‘I hope it m ay be so. There's room .’ “ ‘What can you do?’ says Com peyson. “ ‘Eat and drink,’ I says; ‘if you'll find t he m at erials.’ “ Com peyson laughed, looked at m e again very not icing, giv m e five shillings, and appoint ed m e for next night . Sam e place. 487

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“ I went t o Com peyson next night , sam e place, and Com peyson t ook m e on t o be his m an and pardner. And what was Com peyson's business in which we was t o go pardners? Com peyson's business was t he swindling, handwrit ing forging, st olen bank- not e passing, and such- like. All sort s of t raps as Com peyson could set wit h his head, and keep his own legs out of and get t he profit s from and let anot her m an in for, was Com peyson's business. He'd no m ore heart t han a iron file, he was as cold as deat h, and he had t he head of t he Devil afore m ent ioned. “ There was anot her in wit h Com peyson, as was called Art hur—not as being so chrisen'd, but as a surnam e. He was in a Decline, and was a shadow t o look at . Him and Com peyson had been in a bad t hing wit h a rich lady som e years afore, and t hey'd m ade a pot of m oney by it ; but Com peyson bet t ed and gam ed, and he'd have run t hrough t he king's t axes. So, Art hur was a- dying, and a- dying poor and wit h t he horrors on him , and Com peyson's wife ( which Com peyson kicked m ost ly) was a- having pit y on him when she could, and Com peyson was a- having pit y on not hing and nobody. “ I m ight a- t ook warning by Art hur, but I didn't ; and I won't pret end I was part ick'ler—for where ‘ud be t he good on it , dear boy and com rade? So I begun wi’ Com peyson, and a poor t ool I was in his hands. Art hur lived at t he t op of Com peyson's house ( over nigh Brent ford it was) , and Com peyson kept a careful account agen him for board and lodging, in case he should ever get bet t er t o work it out . But Art hur soon set t led t he account . The second or t hird t im e as 488

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ever I see him , he com e a- t earing down int o Com peyson's parlour lat e at night , in only a flannel gown, wit h his hair all in a sweat , and he says t o Com peyson's wife, ‘Sally, she really is upst airs alonger m e, now, and I can't get rid of her. She's all in whit e,’ he says, ‘wi’ whit e flowers in her hair, and she's awful m ad, and she's got a shroud hanging over her arm , and she says she'll put it on m e at five in t he m orning.’ “ Says Com peyson: ‘Why, you fool, don't you know she's got a living body? And how should she be up t here, wit hout com ing t hrough t he door, or in at t he window, and up t he st airs?’ “ ‘I don't know how she's t here,’ says Art hur, shivering dreadful wit h t he horrors, ‘but she's st anding in t he corner at t he foot of t he bed, awful m ad. And over where her heart 's brook—you broke it ! —t here's drops of blood.’ “ Com peyson spoke hardy, but he was always a coward. ‘Go up alonger t his drivelling sick m an,’ he says t o his wife, ‘and Magwit ch, lend her a hand, will you?’ But he never com e nigh him self. “ Com peyson's wife and m e t ook him up t o bed agen, and he raved m ost dreadful. ‘Why look at her! ’ he cries out . ‘She's a- shaking t he shroud at m e! Don't you see her? Look at her eyes! Ain't it awful t o see her so m ad?’ Next , he cries, ‘She'll put it on m e, and t hen I 'm done for! Take it away from her, t ake it away! ’ And t hen he cat ched hold of us, and kep on at alking t o her, and answering of her, t ill I half believed I see her m yself. “ Com peyson's wife, being used t o him , giv him som e liquor t o get t he horrors off, and by- and- by he quiet ed. ‘Oh, she's 489

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gone! Has her keeper been for her?’ he says. ‘Yes,’ says Com peyson's wife. ‘Did you t ell him t o lock her and bar her in?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘And t o t ake t hat ugly t hing away from her?’ ‘Yes, yes, all right .’ ‘You're a good creet ur,’ he says, ‘don't leave m e, what ever you do, and t hank you! ’ “ He rest ed pret t y quiet t ill it m ight want a few m inut es of five, and t hen he st art s up wit h a scream , and scream s out , ‘Here she is! She's got t he shroud again. She's unfolding it . She's com ing out of t he corner. She's com ing t o t he bed. Hold m e, bot h on you—one of each side—don't let her t ouch m e wit h it . Hah! she m issed m e t hat t im e. Don't let her t hrow it over m y shoulders. Don't let her lift m e up t o get it round m e. She's lift ing m e up. Keep m e down! ’ Then he lift ed him self up hard, and was dead. “ Com peyson t ook it easy as a good riddance for bot h sides. Him and m e was soon busy, and first he swore m e ( being ever art ful) on m y own book—t his here lit t le black book, dear boy, what I swore your com rade on. “ Not t o go int o t he t hings t hat Com peyson planned, and I done—which ‘ud t ake a week—I 'll sim ply say t o you, dear boy, and Pip's com rade, t hat t hat m an got m e int o such net s as m ade m e his black slave. I was always in debt t o him , always under his t hum b, always a- working, always a- get t ing int o danger. He was younger t han m e, but he'd got craft , and he'd got learning, and he overm at ched m e five hundred t im es t old and no m ercy. My Missis as I had t he hard t im e wi'—St op t hough! I ain't brought her in—” He looked about him in a confused way, as if he had lost his place in t he book of his rem em brance; and he t urned his 490

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face t o t he fire, and spread his hands broader on his knees, and lift ed t hem off and put t hem on again. “ There ain't no need t o go int o it ,” he said, looking round once m ore. “ The t im e wi’ Com peyson was a'm ost as hard a t im e as ever I had; t hat said, all's said. Did I t ell you as I was t ried, alone, for m isdem eanour, while wit h Com peyson?” I answered, No. “ Well! ” he said, “ I was, and got convict ed. As t o t ook up on suspicion, t hat was t wice or t hree t im es in t he four or five year t hat it last ed; but evidence was want ing. At last , m e and Com peyson was bot h com m it t ed for felony—on a charge of put t ing st olen not es in circulat ion—and t here was ot her charges behind. Com peyson says t o m e, ‘Separat e defences, no com m unicat ion,’ and t hat was all. And I was so m iserable poor, t hat I sold all t he clot hes I had, except what hung on m y back, afore I could get Jaggers. “ When we was put in t he dock, I not iced first of all what a gent lem an Com peyson looked, wi’ his curly hair and his black clot hes and his whit e pocket - handkercher, and what a com m on sort of a wret ch I looked. When t he prosecut ion opened and t he evidence was put short , aforehand, I not iced how heavy it all bore on m e, and how light on him . When t he evidence was giv in t he box, I not iced how it was always m e t hat had com e for'ard, and could be swore t o, how it was always m e t hat t he m oney had been paid t o, how it was always m e t hat had seem ed t o work t he t hing and get t he profit . But , when t he defence com e on, t hen I see t he plan plainer; for, says t he counsellor for Com peyson, ‘My lord and gent lem en, here you has afore you, side by side, t wo persons 491

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as your eyes can separat e wide; one, t he younger, well brought up, who will be spoke t o as such; one, t he elder, ill brought up, who will be spoke t o as such; one, t he younger, seldom if ever seen in t hese here t ransact ions, and only suspect ed; t 'ot her, t he elder, always seen in ‘em and always wi'his guilt brought hom e. Can you doubt , if t here is but one in it , which is t he one, and, if t here is t wo in it , which is m uch t he worst one?’ And such- like. And when it com e t o charact er, warn't it Com peyson as had been t o t he school, and warn't it his schoolfellows as was in t his posit ion and in t hat , and warn't it him as had been know'd by wit nesses in such clubs and societ ies, and nowt t o his disadvant age? And warn't it m e as had been t ried afore, and as had been know'd up hill and down dale in Bridewells and Lock- Ups? And when it com e t o speech- m aking, warn't it Com peyson as could speak t o ‘em wi’ his face dropping every now and t hen int o his whit e pocket - handkercher—ah! and wi’ verses in his speech, t oo— and warn't it m e as could only say, ‘Gent lem en, t his m an at m y side is a m ost precious rascal'? And when t he verdict com e, warn't it Com peyson as was recom m ended t o m ercy on account of good charact er and bad com pany, and giving up all t he inform at ion he could agen m e, and warn't it m e as got never a word but Guilt y? And when I says t o Com peyson, ‘Once out of t his court , I 'll sm ash t hat face of yourn! ’ ain't it Com peyson as prays t he Judge t o be prot ect ed, and get s t wo t urnkeys st ood bet wixt us? And when we're sent enced, ain't it him as get s seven year, and m e fourt een, and ain't it him as t he Judge is sorry for, because he m ight a done so well, and 492

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ain't it m e as t he Judge perceives t o be a old offender of wiolent passion, likely t o com e t o worse?” He had worked him self int o a st at e of great excit em ent , but he checked it , t ook t wo or t hree short breat hs, swallowed as oft en, and st ret ching out his hand t owards m e said, in a reassuring m anner, “ I ain't a- going t o be low, dear boy! ” He had so heat ed him self t hat he t ook out his handkerchief and wiped his face and head and neck and hands, before he could go on. “ I had said t o Com peyson t hat I 'd sm ash t hat face of his, and I swore Lord sm ash m ine! t o do it . We was in t he sam e prison- ship, but I couldn't get at him for long, t hough I t ried. At last I com e behind him and hit him on t he cheek t o t urn him round and get a sm ashing one at him , when I was seen and seized. The black- hole of t hat ship warn't a st rong one, t o a j udge of black- holes t hat could swim and dive. I escaped t o t he shore, and I was a hiding am ong t he graves t here, envying t hem as was in ‘em and all over, when I first see m y boy! ” He regarded m e wit h a look of affect ion t hat m ade him alm ost abhorrent t o m e again, t hough I had felt great pit y for him . “ By m y boy, I was giv t o underst and as Com peyson was out on t hem m arshes t oo. Upon m y soul, I half believe he escaped in his t error, t o get quit of m e, not knowing it was m e as had got ashore. I hunt ed him down. I sm ashed his face. ‘And now,’ says I ‘as t he worst t hing I can do, caring not hing for m yself, I 'll drag you back.’ And I 'd have swum off, 493

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t owing him by t he hair, if it had com e t o t hat , and I 'd a got him aboard wit hout t he soldiers. “ Of course he'd m uch t he best of it t o t he last —his charact er was so good. He had escaped when he was m ade half- wild by m e and m y m urderous int ent ions; and his punishm ent was light . I was put in irons, brought t o t rial again, and sent for life. I didn't st op for life, dear boy and Pip's com rade, being here.” “ He wiped him self again, as he had done before, and t hen slowly t ook his t angle of t obacco from his pocket , and plucked his pipe from his but t on- hole, and slowly filled it , and began t o sm oke. “ I s he dead?” I asked, aft er a silence. “ I s who dead, dear boy?” “ Com peyson.” “ He hopes I am , if he's alive, you m ay be sure,” wit h a fierce look. “ I never heerd no m ore of him .” Herbert had been writ ing wit h his pencil in t he cover of a book. He soft ly pushed t he book over t o m e, as Provis st ood sm oking wit h his eyes on t he fire, and I read in it : “ Young Havisham 's nam e was Art hur. Com peyson is t he m an who professed t o be Miss Havisham 's lover.” I shut t he book and nodded slight ly t o Herbert , and put t he book by; but we neit her of us said anyt hing, and bot h looked at Provis as he st ood sm oking by t he fire.

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Chapt er 43 Why should I pause t o ask how m uch of m y shrinking from Provis m ight be t raced t o Est ella? Why should I loit er on m y road, t o com pare t he st at e of m ind in which I had t ried t o rid m yself of t he st ain of t he prison before m eet ing her at t he coach- office, wit h t he st at e of m ind in which I now reflect ed on t he abyss bet ween Est ella in her pride and beaut y, and t he ret urned t ransport whom I harboured? The road would be none t he sm oot her for it , t he end would be none t he bet t er for it , he would not be helped, nor I ext enuat ed. A new fear had been engendered in m y m ind by his narrat ive; or rat her, his narrat ive had given form and purpose t o t he fear t hat was already t here. I f Com peyson were alive and should discover his ret urn, I could hardly doubt t he consequence. That , Com peyson st ood in m ort al fear of him , neit her of t he t wo could know m uch bet t er t han I ; and t hat , any such m an as t hat m an had been described t o be, would hesit at e t o release him self for good from a dreaded enem y by t he safe m eans of becom ing an inform er, was scarcely t o be im agined. Never had I breat hed, and never would I breat he—or so I resolved—a word of Est ella t o Provis. But , I said t o Herbert t hat before I could go abroad, I m ust see bot h Est ella and Miss Havisham . This was when we were left alone on t he night of t he day when Provis t old us his st ory. I resolved t o go out t o Richm ond next day, and I went . 495

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On m y present ing m yself at Mrs. Brandley's, Est ella's m aid was called t o t ell t hat Est ella had gone int o t he count ry. Where? To Sat is House, as usual. Not as usual, I said, for she had never yet gone t here wit hout m e; when was she com ing back? There was an air of reservat ion in t he answer which increased m y perplexit y, and t he answer was, t hat her m aid believed she was only com ing back at all for a lit t le while. I could m ake not hing of t his, except t hat it was m eant t hat I should m ake not hing of it , and I went hom e again in com plet e discom fit ure. Anot her night - consult at ion wit h Herbert aft er Provis was gone hom e ( I always t ook him hom e, and always looked well about m e) , led us t o t he conclusion t hat not hing should be said about going abroad unt il I cam e back from Miss Havisham 's. I n t he m eant im e, Herbert and I were t o consider separat ely what it would be best t o say; whet her we should devise any pret ence of being afraid t hat he was under suspicious observat ion; or whet her I , who had never yet been abroad, should propose an expedit ion. We bot h knew t hat I had but t o propose anyt hing, and he would consent . We agreed t hat his rem aining m any days in his present hazard was not t o be t hought of. Next day, I had t he m eanness t o feign t hat I was under a binding prom ise t o go down t o Joe; but I was capable of alm ost any m eanness t owards Joe or his nam e. Provis was t o be st rict ly careful while I was gone, and Herbert was t o t ake t he charge of him t hat I had t aken. I was t o be absent only one night , and, on m y ret urn, t he grat ificat ion of his im pat ience for m y st art ing as a gent lem an on a great er scale, 496

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was t o be begun. I t occurred t o m e t hen, and as I aft erwards found t o Herbert also, t hat he m ight be best got away across t he wat er, on t hat pret ence—as, t o m ake purchases, or t he like. Having t hus cleared t he way for m y expedit ion t o Miss Havisham 's, I set off by t he early m orning coach before it was yet light , and was out on t he open count ry- road when t he day cam e creeping on, halt ing and whim pering and shivering, and wrapped in pat ches of cloud and rags of m ist , like a beggar. When we drove up t o t he Blue Boar aft er a drizzly ride, whom should I see com e out under t he gat eway, t oot hpick in hand, t o look at t he coach, but Bent ley Drum m le! As he pret ended not t o see m e, I pret ended not t o see him . I t was a very lam e pret ence on bot h sides; t he lam er, because we bot h went int o t he coffee- room , where he had j ust finished his breakfast , and where I ordered m ine. I t was poisonous t o m e t o see him in t he t own, for I very well knew why he had com e t here. Pret ending t o read a sm eary newspaper long out of dat e, which had not hing half so legible in it s local news, as t he foreign m at t er of coffee, pickles, fish- sauces, gravy, m elt ed but t er, and wine, wit h which it was sprinkled all over, as if it had t aken t he m easles in a highly irregular form , I sat at m y t able while he st ood before t he fire. By degrees it becam e an enorm ous inj ury t o m e t hat he st ood before t he fire, and I got up, det erm ined t o have m y share of it . I had t o put m y hand behind his legs for t he poker when I went up t o t he fire- place t o st ir t he fire, but st ill pret ended not t o know him . “ I s t his a cut ?” said Mr. Drum m le. 497

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“ Oh! ” said I , poker in hand; “ it 's you, is it ? How do you do? I was wondering who it was, who kept t he fire off.” Wit h t hat , I poked t rem endously, and having done so, plant ed m yself side by side wit h Mr. Drum m le, m y shoulders squared and m y back t o t he fire. “ You have j ust com e down?” said Mr. Drum m le, edging m e a lit t le away wit h his shoulder. “ Yes,” said I , edging him a lit t le away wit h m y shoulder. “ Beast ly place,” said Drum m le.—" Your part of t he count ry, I t hink?” “ Yes,” I assent ed. “ I am t old it 's very like your Shropshire.” “ Not in t he least like it ,” said Drum m le. Here Mr. Drum m le looked at his boot s, and I looked at m ine, and t hen Mr. Drum m le looked at m y boot s, and I looked at his. “ Have you been here long?” I asked, det erm ined not t o yield an inch of t he fire. “ Long enough t o be t ired of it ,” ret urned Drum m le, pret ending t o yawn, but equally det erm ined. “ Do you st ay here long?” “ Can't say,” answered Mr. Drum m le. “ Do you?” “ Can't say,” said I . I felt here, t hrough a t ingling in m y blood, t hat if Mr. Drum m le's shoulder had claim ed anot her hair's breadt h of room , I should have j erked him int o t he window; equally, t hat if m y own shoulder had urged a sim ilar claim , Mr. Drum m le would have j erked m e int o t he nearest box. He whist led a lit t le. So did I . 498

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“ Large t ract of m arshes about here, I believe?” said Drum m le. “ Yes. What of t hat ?” said I . Mr. Drum m le looked at m e, and t hen at m y boot s, and t hen said, “ Oh! ” and laughed. “ Are you am used, Mr. Drum m le?” “ No,” said he, “ not part icularly. I am going out for a ride in t he saddle. I m ean t o explore t hose m arshes for am usem ent . Out - of- t he- way villages t here, t hey t ell m e. Curious lit t le public- houses—and sm it hies—and t hat . Wait er! ” “ Yes, sir.” “ I s t hat horse of m ine ready?” “ Brought round t o t he door, sir.” “ I say. Look here, you sir. The lady won't ride t o- day; t he weat her won't do.” “ Very good, sir.” “ And I don't dine, because I 'm going t o dine at t he lady's.” “ Very good, sir.” Then, Drum m le glanced at m e, wit h an insolent t rium ph on his great - j owled face t hat cut m e t o t he heart , dull as he was, and so exasperat ed m e, t hat I felt inclined t o t ake him in m y arm s ( as t he robber in t he st ory- book is said t o have t aken t he old lady) , and seat him on t he fire. One t hing was m anifest t o bot h of us, and t hat was, t hat unt il relief cam e, neit her of us could relinquish t he fire. There we st ood, well squared up before it , shoulder t o shoulder and foot t o foot , wit h our hands behind us, not budging an inch. The horse was visible out side in t he drizzle at t he door, m y breakfast was put on t he t able, Drum m le's was cleared away, 499

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t he wait er invit ed m e t o begin, I nodded, we bot h st ood our ground. “ Have you been t o t he Grove since?” said Drum m le. “ No,” said I , “ I had quit e enough of t he Finches t he last t im e I was t here.” “ Was t hat when we had a difference of opinion?” “ Yes,” I replied, very short ly. “ Com e, com e! They let you off easily enough,” sneered Drum m le. “ You shouldn't have lost your t em per.” “ Mr. Drum m le,” said I , “ you are not com pet ent t o give advice on t hat subj ect . When I lose m y t em per ( not t hat I adm it having done so on t hat occasion) , I don't t hrow glasses.” “ I do,” said Drum m le. Aft er glancing at him once or t wice, in an increased st at e of sm ouldering ferocit y, I said: “ Mr. Drum m le, I did not seek t his conversat ion, and I don't t hink it an agreeable one.” “ I am sure it 's not ,” said he, superciliously over his shoulder; “ I don't t hink anyt hing about it .” “ And t herefore,” I went on, “ wit h your leave, I will suggest t hat we hold no kind of com m unicat ion in fut ure.” “ Quit e m y opinion,” said Drum m le, “ and what I should have suggest ed m yself, or done—m ore likely—wit hout suggest ing. But don't lose your t em per. Haven't you lost enough wit hout t hat ?” “ What do you m ean, sir?” “ Wai- t er! ,” said Drum m le, by way of answering m e. The wait er reappeared. 500

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“ Look here, you sir. You quit e underst and t hat t he young lady don't ride t o- day, and t hat I dine at t he young lady's?” “ Quit e so, sir! ” When t he wait er had felt m y fast cooling t ea- pot wit h t he palm of his hand, and had looked im ploringly at m e, and had gone out , Drum m le, careful not t o m ove t he shoulder next m e, t ook a cigar from his pocket and bit t he end off, but showed no sign of st irring. Choking and boiling as I was, I felt t hat we could not go a word furt her, wit hout int roducing Est ella's nam e, which I could not endure t o hear him ut t er; and t herefore I looked st onily at t he opposit e wall, as if t here were no one present , and forced m yself t o silence. How long we m ight have rem ained in t his ridiculous posit ion it is im possible t o say, but for t he incursion of t hree t hriving farm ers—led on by t he wait er, I t hink—who cam e int o t he coffee- room unbut t oning t heir great - coat s and rubbing t heir hands, and before whom , as t hey charged at t he fire, we were obliged t o give way. I saw him t hrough t he window, seizing his horse's m ane, and m ount ing in his blundering brut al m anner, and sidling and backing away. I t hought he was gone, when he cam e back, calling for a light for t he cigar in his m out h, which he had forgot t en. A m an in a dust coloured dress appeared wit h what was want ed—I could not have said from where: whet her from t he inn yard, or t he st reet , or where not —and as Drum m le leaned down from t he saddle and light ed his cigar and laughed, wit h a j erk of his head t owards t he coffee- room windows, t he slouching shoulders and ragged hair of t his m an, whose back was t owards m e, rem inded m e of Orlick. 501

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Too heavily out of sort s t o care m uch at t he t im e whet her it were he or no, or aft er all t o t ouch t he breakfast , I washed t he weat her and t he j ourney from m y face and hands, and went out t o t he m em orable old house t hat it would have been so m uch t he bet t er for m e never t o have ent ered, never t o have seen.

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Chapt er 44 I n t he room where t he dressing- t able st ood, and where t he wax candles burnt on t he wall, I found Miss Havisham and Est ella; Miss Havisham seat ed on a set t ee near t he fire, and Est ella on a cushion at her feet . Est ella was knit t ing, and Miss Havisham was looking on. They bot h raised t heir eyes as I went in, and bot h saw an alt erat ion in m e. I derived t hat , from t he look t hey int erchanged. “ And what wind,” said Miss Havisham , “ blows you here, Pip?” Though she looked st eadily at m e, I saw t hat she was rat her confused. Est ella, pausing a m om ent in her knit t ing wit h her eyes upon m e, and t hen going on, I fancied t hat I read in t he act ion of her fingers, as plainly as if she had t old m e in t he dum b alphabet , t hat she perceived I had discovered m y real benefact or. “ Miss Havisham ,” said I , “ I went t o Richm ond yest erday, t o speak t o Est ella; and finding t hat som e wind had blown her here, I followed.” Miss Havisham m ot ioning t o m e for t he t hird or fourt h t im e t o sit down, I t ook t he chair by t he dressing- t able, which I had oft en seen her occupy. Wit h all t hat ruin at m y feet and about m e, it seem ed a nat ural place for m e, t hat day. “ What I had t o say t o Est ella, Miss Havisham , I will say before you, present ly—in a few m om ent s. I t will not surprise you, it will not displease you. I am as unhappy as you can ever have m eant m e t o be.” 503

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Miss Havisham cont inued t o look st eadily at m e. I could see in t he act ion of Est ella's fingers as t hey worked, t hat she at t ended t o what I said: but she did not look up. “ I have found out who m y pat ron is. I t is not a fort unat e discovery, and is not likely ever t o enrich m e in reput at ion, st at ion, fort une, anyt hing. There are reasons why I m ust say no m ore of t hat . I t is not m y secret , but anot her's.” As I was silent for a while, looking at Est ella and considering how t o go on, Miss Havisham repeat ed, “ I t is not your secret , but anot her's. Well?” “ When you first caused m e t o be brought here, Miss Havisham ; when I belonged t o t he village over yonder, t hat I wish I had never left ; I suppose I did really com e here, as any ot her chance boy m ight have com e—as a kind of servant , t o grat ify a want or a whim , and t o be paid for it ?” “ Ay, Pip,” replied Miss Havisham , st eadily nodding her head; “ you did.” “ And t hat Mr. Jaggers—” “ Mr. Jaggers,” said Miss Havisham , t aking m e up in a firm t one, “ had not hing t o do wit h it , and knew not hing of it . His being m y lawyer, and his being t he lawyer of your pat ron, is a coincidence. He holds t he sam e relat ion t owards num bers of people, and it m ight easily arise. Be t hat as it m ay, it did arise, and was not brought about by any one.” Any one m ight have seen in her haggard face t hat t here was no suppression or evasion so far. “ But when I fell int o t he m ist ake I have so long rem ained in, at least you led m e on?” said I . 504

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“ Yes,” she ret urned, again nodding, st eadily, “ I let you go on.” “ Was t hat kind?” “ Who am I ,” cried Miss Havisham , st riking her st ick upon t he floor and flashing int o wrat h so suddenly t hat Est ella glanced up at her in surprise, “ who am I , for God's sake, t hat I should be kind?” I t was a weak com plaint t o have m ade, and I had not m eant t o m ake it . I t old her so, as she sat brooding aft er t his out burst . “ Well, well, well! ” she said. “ What else?” “ I was liberally paid for m y old at t endance here,” I said, t o soot he her, “ in being apprent iced, and I have asked t hese quest ions only for m y own inform at ion. What follows has anot her ( and I hope m ore disint erest ed) purpose. I n hum ouring m y m ist ake, Miss Havisham , you punished— pract ised on—perhaps you will supply what ever t erm expresses your int ent ion, wit hout offence—your self- seeking relat ions?” “ I did. Why, t hey would have it so! So would you. What has been m y hist ory, t hat I should be at t he pains of ent reat ing eit her t hem , or you, not t o have it so! You m ade your own snares. I never m ade t hem .” Wait ing unt il she was quiet again—for t his, t oo, flashed out of her in a wild and sudden way—I went on. “ I have been t hrown am ong one fam ily of your relat ions, Miss Havisham , and have been const ant ly am ong t hem since I went t o London. I know t hem t o have been as honest ly under m y delusion as I m yself. And I should be false and base 505

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if I did not t ell you, whet her it is accept able t o you or no, and whet her you are inclined t o give credence t o it or no, t hat you deeply wrong bot h Mr. Mat t hew Pocket and his son Herbert , if you suppose t hem t o be ot herwise t han generous, upright , open, and incapable of anyt hing designing or m ean.” “ They are your friends,” said Miss Havisham . “ They m ade t hem selves m y friends,” said I , “ when t hey supposed m e t o have superseded t hem ; and when Sarah Pocket , Miss Georgiana, and Mist ress Cam illa, were not m y friends, I t hink.” This cont rast ing of t hem wit h t he rest seem ed, I was glad t o see, t o do t hem good wit h her. She looked at m e keenly for a lit t le while, and t hen said quiet ly: “ What do you want for t hem ?” “ Only,” said I , “ t hat you would not confound t hem wit h t he ot hers. They m ay be of t he sam e blood, but , believe m e, t hey are not of t he sam e nat ure.” St ill looking at m e keenly, Miss Havisham repeat ed: “ What do you want for t hem ?” “ I am not so cunning, you see,” I said, in answer, conscious t hat I reddened a lit t le, “ as t hat I could hide from you, even if I desired, t hat I do want som et hing. Miss Havisham , if you would spare t he m oney t o do m y friend Herbert a last ing service in life, but which from t he nat ure of t he case m ust be done wit hout his knowledge, I could show you how.” “ Why m ust it be done wit hout his knowledge?” she asked, set t ling her hands upon her st ick, t hat she m ight regard m e t he m ore at t ent ively. 506

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“ Because,” said I , “ I began t he service m yself, m ore t han t wo years ago, wit hout his knowledge, and I don't want t o be bet rayed. Why I fail in m y abilit y t o finish it , I cannot explain. I t is a part of t he secret which is anot her person's and not m ine.” She gradually wit hdrew her eyes from m e, and t urned t hem on t he fire. Aft er wat ching it for what appeared in t he silence and by t he light of t he slowly wast ing candles t o be a long t im e, she was roused by t he collapse of som e of t he red coals, and looked t owards m e again—at first , vacant ly—t hen, wit h a gradually concent rat ing at t ent ion. All t his t im e, Est ella knit t ed on. When Miss Havisham had fixed her at t ent ion on m e, she said, speaking as if t here had been no lapse in our dialogue: “ What else?” “ Est ella,” said I , t urning t o her now, and t rying t o com m and m y t rem bling voice, “ you know I love you. You know t hat I have loved you long and dearly.” She raised her eyes t o m y face, on being t hus addressed, and her fingers plied t heir work, and she looked at m e wit h an unm oved count enance. I saw t hat Miss Havisham glanced from m e t o her, and from her t o m e. “ I should have said t his sooner, but for m y long m ist ake. I t induced m e t o hope t hat Miss Havisham m eant us for one anot her. While I t hought you could not help yourself, as it were, I refrained from saying it . But I m ust say it now.” Preserving her unm oved count enance, and wit h her fingers st ill going, Est ella shook her head. 507

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“ I know,” said I , in answer t o t hat act ion; “ I know. I have no hope t hat I shall ever call you m ine, Est ella. I am ignorant what m ay becom e of m e very soon, how poor I m ay be, or where I m ay go. St ill, I love you. I have loved you ever since I first saw you in t his house.” Looking at m e perfect ly unm oved and wit h her fingers busy, she shook her head again. “ I t would have been cruel in Miss Havisham , horribly cruel, t o pract ise on t he suscept ibilit y of a poor boy, and t o t ort ure m e t hrough all t hese years wit h a vain hope and an idle pursuit , if she had reflect ed on t he gravit y of what she did. But I t hink she did not . I t hink t hat in t he endurance of her own t rial, she forgot m ine, Est ella.” I saw Miss Havisham put her hand t o her heart and hold it t here, as she sat looking by t urns at Est ella and at m e. “ I t seem s,” said Est ella, very calm ly, “ t hat t here are sent im ent s, fancies—I don't know how t o call t hem —which I am not able t o com prehend. When you say you love m e, I know what you m ean, as a form of words; but not hing m ore. You address not hing in m y breast , you t ouch not hing t here. I don't care for what you say at all. I have t ried t o warn you of t his; now, have I not ?” I said in a m iserable m anner, “ Yes.” “ Yes. But you would not be warned, for you t hought I did not m ean it . Now, did you not t hink so?” “ I t hought and hoped you could not m ean it . You, so young, unt ried, and beaut iful, Est ella! Surely it is not in Nat ure.” 508

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“ I t is in m y nat ure,” she ret urned. And t hen she added, wit h a st ress upon t he words, “ I t is in t he nat ure form ed wit hin m e. I m ake a great difference bet ween you and all ot her people when I say so m uch. I can do no m ore.” “ I s it not t rue,” said I , “ t hat Bent ley Drum m le is in t own here, and pursuing you?” “ I t is quit e t rue,” she replied, referring t o him wit h t he indifference of ut t er cont em pt . “ That you encourage him , and ride out wit h him , and t hat he dines wit h you t his very day?” She seem ed a lit t le surprised t hat I should know it , but again replied, “ Quit e t rue.” “ You cannot love him , Est ella! ” Her fingers st opped for t he first t im e, as she ret ort ed rat her angrily, “ What have I t old you? Do you st ill t hink, in spit e of it , t hat I do not m ean what I say?” “ You would never m arry him , Est ella?” She looked t owards Miss Havisham , and considered for a m om ent wit h her work in her hands. Then she said, “ Why not t ell you t he t rut h? I am going t o be m arried t o him .” I dropped m y face int o m y hands, but was able t o cont rol m yself bet t er t han I could have expect ed, considering what agony it gave m e t o hear her say t hose words. When I raised m y face again, t here was such a ghast ly look upon Miss Havisham 's, t hat it im pressed m e, even in m y passionat e hurry and grief. “ Est ella, dearest dearest Est ella, do not let Miss Havisham lead you int o t his fat al st ep. Put m e aside for ever—you have done so, I well know—but best ow yourself on som e wort hier 509

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person t han Drum m le. Miss Havisham gives you t o him , as t he great est slight and inj ury t hat could be done t o t he m any far bet t er m en who adm ire you, and t o t he few who t ruly love you. Am ong t hose few, t here m ay be one who loves you even as dearly, t hough he has not loved you as long, as I . Take him , and I can bear it bet t er, for your sake! ” My earnest ness awoke a wonder in her t hat seem ed as if it would have been t ouched wit h com passion, if she could have rendered m e at all int elligible t o her own m ind. “ I am going,” she said again, in a gent ler voice, “ t o be m arried t o him . The preparat ions for m y m arriage are m aking, and I shall be m arried soon. Why do you inj uriously int roduce t he nam e of m y m ot her by adopt ion? I t is m y own act .” “ Your own act , Est ella, t o fling yourself away upon a brut e?” “ On whom should I fling m yself away?” she ret ort ed, wit h a sm ile. “ Should I fling m yself away upon t he m an who would t he soonest feel ( if people do feel such t hings) t hat I t ook not hing t o him ? There! I t is done. I shall do well enough, and so will m y husband. As t o leading m e int o what you call t his fat al st ep, Miss Havisham would have had m e wait , and not m arry yet ; but I am t ired of t he life I have led, which has very few charm s for m e, and I am willing enough t o change it . Say no m ore. We shall never underst and each ot her.” “ Such a m ean brut e, such a st upid brut e! ” I urged in despair.

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“ Don't be afraid of m y being a blessing t o him ,” said Est ella; “ I shall not be t hat . Com e! Here is m y hand. Do we part on t his, you visionary boy—or m an?” “ O Est ella! ” I answered, as m y bit t er t ears fell fast on her hand, do what I would t o rest rain t hem ; “ even if I rem ained in England and could hold m y head up wit h t he rest , how could I see you Drum m le's wife?” “ Nonsense,” she ret urned, “ nonsense. This will pass in no t im e.” “ Never, Est ella! ” “ You will get m e out of your t hought s in a week.” “ Out of m y t hought s! You are part of m y exist ence, part of m yself. You have been in every line I have ever read, since I first cam e here, t he rough com m on boy whose poor heart you wounded even t hen. You have been in every prospect I have ever seen since—on t he river, on t he sails of t he ships, on t he m arshes, in t he clouds, in t he light , in t he darkness, in t he wind, in t he woods, in t he sea, in t he st reet s. You have been t he em bodim ent of every graceful fancy t hat m y m ind has ever becom e acquaint ed wit h. The st ones of which t he st rongest London buildings are m ade, are not m ore real, or m ore im possible t o be displaced by your hands, t han your presence and influence have been t o m e, t here and everywhere, and will be. Est ella, t o t he last hour of m y life, you cannot choose but rem ain part of m y charact er, part of t he lit t le good in m e, part of t he evil. But , in t his separat ion I associat e you only wit h t he good, and I will fait hfully hold you t o t hat always, for you m ust have done m e far m ore good 511

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t han harm , let m e feel now what sharp dist ress I m ay. O God bless you, God forgive you! ” I n what ecst asy of unhappiness I got t hese broken words out of m yself, I don't know. The rhapsody welled up wit hin m e, like blood from an inward wound, and gushed out . I held her hand t o m y lips som e lingering m om ent s, and so I left her. But ever aft erwards, I rem em bered—and soon aft erwards wit h st ronger reason—t hat while Est ella looked at m e m erely wit h incredulous wonder, t he spect ral figure of Miss Havisham , her hand st ill covering her heart , seem ed all resolved int o a ghast ly st are of pit y and rem orse. All done, all gone! So m uch was done and gone, t hat when I went out at t he gat e, t he light of t he day seem ed of a darker colour t han when I went in. For a while, I hid m yself am ong som e lanes and by- pat hs, and t hen st ruck off t o walk all t he way t o London. For, I had by t hat t im e com e t o m yself so far, as t o consider t hat I could not go back t o t he inn and see Drum m le t here; t hat I could not bear t o sit upon t he coach and be spoken t o; t hat I could do not hing half so good for m yself as t ire m yself out . I t was past m idnight when I crossed London Bridge. Pursuing t he narrow int ricacies of t he st reet s which at t hat t im e t ended west ward near t he Middlesex shore of t he river, m y readiest access t o t he Tem ple was close by t he river- side, t hrough Whit efriars. I was not expect ed t ill t o- m orrow, but I had m y keys, and, if Herbert were gone t o bed, could get t o bed m yself wit hout dist urbing him . As it seldom happened t hat I cam e in at t hat Whit efriars gat e aft er t he Tem ple was closed, and as I was very m uddy 512

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and weary, I did not t ake it ill t hat t he night - port er exam ined m e wit h m uch at t ent ion as he held t he gat e a lit t le way open for m e t o pass in. To help his m em ory I m ent ioned m y nam e. “ I was not quit e sure, sir, but I t hought so. Here's a not e, sir. The m essenger t hat brought it , said would you be so good as read it by m y lant ern?” Much surprised by t he request , I t ook t he not e. I t was direct ed t o Philip Pip, Esquire, and on t he t op of t he superscript ion were t he words, “ PLEASE READ THI S, HERE.” I opened it , t he wat chm an holding up his light , and read inside, in Wem m ick's writ ing: “ DON'T GO HOME.”

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Chapt er 45 Turning from t he Tem ple gat e as soon as I had read t he warning, I m ade t he best of m y way t o Fleet - st reet , and t here got a lat e hackney chariot and drove t o t he Hum m um s in Covent Garden. I n t hose t im es a bed was always t o be got t here at any hour of t he night , and t he cham berlain, let t ing m e in at his ready wicket , light ed t he candle next in order on his shelf, and showed m e st raight int o t he bedroom next in order on his list . I t was a sort of vault on t he ground floor at t he back, wit h a despot ic m onst er of a four- post bedst ead in it , st raddling over t he whole place, put t ing one of his arbit rary legs int o t he fire- place and anot her int o t he doorway, and squeezing t he wret ched lit t le washing- st and in quit e a Divinely Right eous m anner. As I had asked for a night - light , t he cham berlain had brought m e in, before he left m e, t he good old const it ut ional rush- light of t hose virt uous days—an obj ect like t he ghost of a walking- cane, which inst ant ly broke it s back if it were t ouched, which not hing could ever be light ed at , and which was placed in solit ary confinem ent at t he bot t om of a high t in t ower, perforat ed wit h round holes t hat m ade a st aringly wide- awake pat t ern on t he walls. When I had got int o bed, and lay t here foot sore, weary, and wret ched, I found t hat I could no m ore close m y own eyes t han I could close t he eyes of t his foolish Argus. And t hus, in t he gloom and deat h of t he night , we st ared at one anot her. 514

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What a doleful night ! How anxious, how dism al, how long! There was an inhospit able sm ell in t he room , of cold soot and hot dust ; and, as I looked up int o t he corners of t he t est er over m y head, I t hought what a num ber of blue- bot t le flies from t he but chers', and earwigs from t he m arket , and grubs from t he count ry, m ust be holding on up t here, lying by for next sum m er. This led m e t o speculat e whet her any of t hem ever t um bled down, and t hen I fancied t hat I felt light falls on m y face—a disagreeable t urn of t hought , suggest ing ot her and m ore obj ect ionable approaches up m y back. When I had lain awake a lit t le while, t hose ext raordinary voices wit h which silence t eem s, began t o m ake t hem selves audible. The closet whispered, t he fireplace sighed, t he lit t le washingst and t icked, and one guit ar- st ring played occasionally in t he chest of drawers. At about t he sam e t im e, t he eyes on t he wall acquired a new expression, and in every one of t hose st aring rounds I saw writ t en, DON'T GO HOME. What ever night - fancies and night - noises crowded on m e, t hey never warded off t his DON'T GO HOME. I t plait ed it self int o what ever I t hought of, as a bodily pain would have done. Not long before, I had read in t he newspapers, how a gent lem an unknown had com e t o t he Hum m um s in t he night , and had gone t o bed, and had dest royed him self, and had been found in t he m orning welt ering in blood. I t cam e int o m y head t hat he m ust have occupied t his very vault of m ine, and I got out of bed t o assure m yself t hat t here were no red m arks about ; t hen opened t he door t o look out int o t he passages, and cheer m yself wit h t he com panionship of a dist ant light , near which I knew t he cham berlain t o be dozing. 515

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But all t his t im e, why I was not t o go hom e, and what had happened at hom e, and when I should go hom e, and whet her Provis was safe at hom e, were quest ions occupying m y m ind so busily, t hat one m ight have supposed t here could be no m ore room in it for any ot her t hem e. Even when I t hought of Est ella, and how we had part ed t hat day for ever, and when I recalled all t he circum st ances of our part ing, and all her looks and t ones, and t he act ion of her fingers while she knit t ed— even t hen I was pursuing, here and t here and everywhere, t he caut ion Don't go hom e. When at last I dozed, in sheer exhaust ion of m ind and body, it becam e a vast shadowy verb which I had t o conj ugat e. I m perat ive m ood, present t ense: Do not t hou go hom e, let him not go hom e, let us not go hom e, do not ye or you go hom e, let not t hem go hom e. Then, pot ent ially: I m ay not and I cannot go hom e; and I m ight not , could not , would not , and should not go hom e; unt il I felt t hat I was going dist ract ed, and rolled over on t he pillow, and looked at t he st aring rounds upon t he wall again. I had left direct ions t hat I was t o be called at seven; for it was plain t hat I m ust see Wem m ick before seeing any one else, and equally plain t hat t his was a case in which his Walwort h sent im ent s, only, could be t aken. I t was a relief t o get out of t he room where t he night had been so m iserable, and I needed no second knocking at t he door t o st art le m e from m y uneasy bed. The Cast le bat t lem ent s arose upon m y view at eight o'clock. The lit t le servant happening t o be ent ering t he fort ress wit h t wo hot rolls, I passed t hrough t he post ern and crossed t he drawbridge, in her com pany, and so cam e 516

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wit hout announcem ent int o t he presence of Wem m ick as he was m aking t ea for him self and t he Aged. An open door afforded a perspect ive view of t he Aged in bed. “ Halloa, Mr. Pip! ” said Wem m ick. “ You did com e hom e, t hen?” “ Yes,” I ret urned; “ but I didn't go hom e.” “ That 's all right ,” said he, rubbing his hands. “ I left a not e for you at each of t he Tem ple gat es, on t he chance. Which gat e did you com e t o?” I t old him . “ I 'll go round t o t he ot hers in t he course of t he day and dest roy t he not es,” said Wem m ick; “ it 's a good rule never t o leave docum ent ary evidence if you can help it , because you don't know when it m ay be put in. I 'm going t o t ake a libert y wit h you.—Would you m ind t oast ing t his sausage for t he Aged P.?” I said I should be delight ed t o do it . “ Then you can go about your work, Mary Anne,” said Wem m ick t o t he lit t le servant ; “ which leaves us t o ourselves, don't you see, Mr. Pip?” he added, winking, as she disappeared. I t hanked him for his friendship and caut ion, and our discourse proceeded in a low t one, while I t oast ed t he Aged's sausage and he but t ered t he crum b of t he Aged's roll. “ Now, Mr. Pip, you know,” said Wem m ick, “ you and I underst and one anot her. We are in our privat e and personal capacit ies, and we have been engaged in a confident ial t ransact ion before t oday. Official sent im ent s are one t hing. We are ext ra official.” 517

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I cordially assent ed. I was so very nervous, t hat I had already light ed t he Aged's sausage like a t orch, and been obliged t o blow it out . “ I accident ally heard, yest erday m orning,” said Wem m ick, “ being in a cert ain place where I once t ook you—even bet ween you and m e, it 's as well not t o m ent ion nam es when avoidable—” “ Much bet t er not ,” said I . “ I underst and you.” “ I heard t here by chance, yest erday m orning,” said Wem m ick, “ t hat a cert ain person not alt oget her of uncolonial pursuit s, and not unpossessed of port able propert y—I don't know who it m ay really be—we won't nam e t his person—” “ Not necessary,” said I . “ —had m ade som e lit t le st ir in a cert ain part of t he world where a good m any people go, not always in grat ificat ion of t heir own inclinat ions, and not quit e irrespect ive of t he governm ent expense—” I n wat ching his face, I m ade quit e a firework of t he Aged's sausage, and great ly discom posed bot h m y own at t ent ion and Wem m ick's; for which I apologized. “ —by disappearing from such place, and being no m ore heard of t hereabout s. From which,” said Wem m ick, “ conj ect ures had been raised and t heories form ed. I also heard t hat you at your cham bers in Garden Court , Tem ple, had been wat ched, and m ight be wat ched again.” “ By whom ?” said I . “ I wouldn't go int o t hat ,” said Wem m ick, evasively, “ it m ight clash wit h official responsibilit ies. I heard it , as I have 518

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in m y t im e heard ot her curious t hings in t he sam e place. I don't t ell it you on inform at ion received. I heard it .” He t ook t he t oast ing- fork and sausage from m e as he spoke, and set fort h t he Aged's breakfast neat ly on a lit t le t ray. Previous t o placing it before him , he went int o t he Aged's room wit h a clean whit e clot h, and t ied t he sam e under t he old gent lem an's chin, and propped him up, and put his night cap on one side, and gave him quit e a rakish air. Then, he placed his breakfast before him wit h great care, and said, “ All right , ain't you, Aged P.?” To which t he cheerful Aged replied, “ All right , John, m y boy, all right ! ” As t here seem ed t o be a t acit underst anding t hat t he Aged was not in a present able st at e, and was t herefore t o be considered invisible, I m ade a pret ence of being in com plet e ignorance of t hese proceedings. “ This wat ching of m e at m y cham bers ( which I have once had reason t o suspect ) ,” I said t o Wem m ick when he cam e back, “ is inseparable from t he person t o whom you have advert ed; is it ?” Wem m ick looked very serious. “ I couldn't undert ake t o say t hat , of m y own knowledge. I m ean, I couldn't undert ake t o say it was at first . But it eit her is, or it will be, or it 's in great danger of being.” As I saw t hat he was rest rained by fealt y t o Lit t le Brit ain from saying as m uch as he could, and as I knew wit h t hankfulness t o him how far out of his way he went t o say what he did, I could not press him . But I t old him , aft er a lit t le m edit at ion over t he fire, t hat I would like t o ask him a quest ion, subj ect t o his answering or not answering, as he 519

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deem ed right , and sure t hat his course would be right . He paused in his breakfast , and crossing his arm s, and pinching his shirt - sleeves ( his not ion of indoor com fort was t o sit wit hout any coat ) , he nodded t o m e once, t o put m y quest ion. “ You have heard of a m an of bad charact er, whose t rue nam e is Com peyson?” He answered wit h one ot her nod. “ I s he living?” One ot her nod. “ I s he in London?” He gave m e one ot her nod, com pressed t he post - office exceedingly, gave m e one last nod, and went on wit h his breakfast . “ Now,” said Wem m ick, “ quest ioning being over; ” which he em phasized and repeat ed for m y guidance; “ I com e t o what I did, aft er hearing what I heard. I went t o Garden Court t o find you; not finding you, I went t o Clarriker's t o find Mr. Herbert .” “ And him you found?” said I , wit h great anxiet y. “ And him I found. Wit hout m ent ioning any nam es or going int o any det ails, I gave him t o underst and t hat if he was aware of anybody—Tom , Jack, or Richard—being about t he cham bers, or about t he im m ediat e neighbourhood, he had bet t er get Tom , Jack, or Richard, out of t he way while you were out of t he way.” “ He would be great ly puzzled what t o do?” “ He was puzzled what t o do; not t he less, because I gave him m y opinion t hat it was not safe t o t ry t o get Tom , Jack, or Richard, t oo far out of t he way at present . Mr. Pip, I 'll t ell 520

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you som et hing. Under exist ing circum st ances t here is no place like a great cit y when you are once in it . Don't break cover t oo soon. Lie close. Wait t ill t hings slacken, before you t ry t he open, even for foreign air.” I t hanked him for his valuable advice, and asked him what Herbert had done? “ Mr. Herbert ,” said Wem m ick, “ aft er being all of a heap for half an hour, st ruck out a plan. He m ent ioned t o m e as a secret , t hat he is court ing a young lady who has, as no doubt you are aware, a bedridden Pa. Which Pa, having been in t he Purser line of life, lies a- bed in a bow- window where he can see t he ships sail up and down t he river. You are acquaint ed wit h t he young lady, m ost probably?” “ Not personally,” said I . The t rut h was, t hat she had obj ect ed t o m e as an expensive com panion who did Herbert no good, and t hat , when Herbert had first proposed t o present m e t o her, she had received t he proposal wit h such very m oderat e warm t h, t hat Herbert had felt him self obliged t o confide t he st at e of t he case t o m e, wit h a view t o t he lapse of a lit t le t im e before I m ade her acquaint ance. When I had begun t o advance Herbert 's prospect s by St ealt h, I had been able t o bear t his wit h cheerful philosophy; he and his affianced, for t heir part , had nat urally not been very anxious t o int roduce a t hird person int o t heir int erviews; and t hus, alt hough I was assured t hat I had risen in Clara's est eem , and alt hough t he young lady and I had long regularly int erchanged m essages and rem em brances by Herbert , I had never seen her. However, I did not t rouble Wem m ick wit h t hese part iculars. 521

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“ The house wit h t he bow- window,” said Wem m ick, “ being by t he river- side, down t he Pool t here bet ween Lim ehouse and Greenwich, and being kept , it seem s, by a very respect able widow who has a furnished upper floor t o let , Mr. Herbert put it t o m e, what did I t hink of t hat as a t em porary t enem ent for Tom , Jack, or Richard? Now, I t hought very well of it , for t hree reasons I 'll give you. That is t o say. First ly. I t 's alt oget her out of all your beat s, and is well away from t he usual heap of st reet s great and sm all. Secondly. Wit hout going near it yourself, you could always hear of t he safet y of Tom , Jack, or Richard, t hrough Mr. Herbert . Thirdly. Aft er a while and when it m ight be prudent , if you should want t o slip Tom , Jack, or Richard, on board a foreign packet - boat , t here he is—ready.” Much com fort ed by t hese considerat ions, I t hanked Wem m ick again and again, and begged him t o proceed. “ Well, sir! Mr. Herbert t hrew him self int o t he business wit h a will, and by nine o'clock last night he housed Tom , Jack, or Richard—whichever it m ay be—you and I don't want t o know—quit e successfully. At t he old lodgings it was underst ood t hat he was sum m oned t o Dover, and in fact he was t aken down t he Dover road and cornered out of it . Now, anot her great advant age of all t his, is, t hat it was done wit hout you, and when, if any one was concerning him self about your m ovem ent s, you m ust be known t o be ever so m any m iles off and quit e ot herwise engaged. This divert s suspicion and confuses it ; and for t he sam e reason I recom m ended t hat even if you cam e back last night , you 522

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should not go hom e. I t brings in m ore confusion, and you want confusion.” Wem m ick, having finished his breakfast , here looked at his wat ch, and began t o get his coat on. “ And now, Mr. Pip,” said he, wit h his hands st ill in t he sleeves, “ I have probably done t he m ost I can do; but if I can ever do m ore—from a Walwort h point of view, and in a st rict ly privat e and personal capacit y—I shall be glad t o do it . Here's t he address. There can be no harm in your going here t o- night and seeing for yourself t hat all is well wit h Tom , Jack, or Richard, before you go hom e—which is anot her reason for your not going hom e last night . But aft er you have gone hom e, don't go back here. You are very welcom e, I am sure, Mr. Pip; ” his hands were now out of his sleeves, and I was shaking t hem ; “ and let m e finally im press one im port ant point upon you.” He laid his hands upon m y shoulders, and added in a solem n whisper: “ Avail yourself of t his evening t o lay hold of his port able propert y. You don't know what m ay happen t o him . Don't let anyt hing happen t o t he port able propert y.” Quit e despairing of m aking m y m ind clear t o Wem m ick on t his point , I forbore t o t ry. “ Tim e's up,” said Wem m ick, “ and I m ust be off. I f you had not hing m ore pressing t o do t han t o keep here t ill dark, t hat 's what I should advise. You look very m uch worried, and it would do you good t o have a perfect ly quiet day wit h t he Aged—he'll be up present ly—and a lit t le bit of—you rem em ber t he pig?” “ Of course,” said I . 523

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“ Well; and a lit t le bit of him . That sausage you t oast ed was his, and he was in all respect s a first - rat er. Do t ry him , if it is only for old acquaint ance sake. Good- bye, Aged Parent ! ” in a cheery shout . “ All right , John; all right , m y boy! ” piped t he old m an from wit hin. I soon fell asleep before Wem m ick's fire, and t he Aged and I enj oyed one anot her's societ y by falling asleep before it m ore or less all day. We had loin of pork for dinner, and greens grown on t he est at e, and I nodded at t he Aged wit h a good int ent ion whenever I failed t o do it drowsily. When it was quit e dark, I left t he Aged preparing t he fire for t oast ; and I inferred from t he num ber of t eacups, as well as from his glances at t he t wo lit t le doors in t he wall, t hat Miss Skiffins was expect ed.

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Chapt er 46 Eight o'clock had st ruck before I got int o t he air t hat was scent ed, not disagreeably, by t he chips and shavings of t he long- shore boat builders, and m ast oar and block m akers. All t hat wat er- side region of t he upper and lower Pool below Bridge, was unknown ground t o m e, and when I st ruck down by t he river, I found t hat t he spot I want ed was not where I had supposed it t o be, and was anyt hing but easy t o find. I t was called Mill Pond Bank, Chinks's Basin; and I had no ot her guide t o Chinks's Basin t han t he Old Green Copper RopeWalk. I t m at t ers not what st randed ships repairing in dry docks I lost m yself am ong, what old hulls of ships in course of being knocked t o pieces, what ooze and slim e and ot her dregs of t ide, what yards of ship- builders and ship- breakers, what rust y anchors blindly bit ing int o t he ground t hough for years off dut y, what m ount ainous count ry of accum ulat ed casks and t im ber, how m any rope- walks t hat were not t he Old Green Copper. Aft er several t im es falling short of m y dest inat ion and as oft en over- shoot ing it , I cam e unexpect edly round a corner, upon Mill Pond Bank. I t was a fresh kind of place, all circum st ances considered, where t he wind from t he river had room t o t urn it self round; and t here were t wo or t hree t rees in it , and t here was t he st um p of a ruined windm ill, and t here was t he Old Green Copper Rope- Walk—whose long and narrow vist a I could t race in t he m oonlight , along a series of wooden fram es set in t he ground, t hat looked like 525

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superannuat ed haym aking- rakes which had grown old and lost m ost of t heir t eet h. Select ing from t he few queer houses upon Mill Pond Bank, a house wit h a wooden front and t hree st ories of bow- window ( not bay- window, which is anot her t hing) , I looked at t he plat e upon t he door, and read t here, Mrs. Whim ple. That being t he nam e I want ed, I knocked, and an elderly wom an of a pleasant and t hriving appearance responded. She was im m ediat ely deposed, however, by Herbert , who silent ly led m e int o t he parlour and shut t he door. I t was an odd sensat ion t o see his very fam iliar face est ablished quit e at hom e in t hat very unfam iliar room and region; and I found m yself looking at him , m uch as I looked at t he cornercupboard wit h t he glass and china, t he shells upon t he chim ney- piece, and t he coloured engravings on t he wall, represent ing t he deat h of Capt ain Cook, a ship- launch, and his Maj est y King George t he Third in a st at e- coachm an's wig, leat her- breeches, and t op- boot s, on t he t errace at Windsor. “ All is well, Handel,” said Herbert , “ and he is quit e sat isfied, t hough eager t o see you. My dear girl is wit h her fat her; and if you'll wait t ill she com es down, I 'll m ake you known t o her, and t hen we'll go up- st airs.—That 's her fat her.” I had becom e aware of an alarm ing growling overhead, and had probably expressed t he fact in m y count enance. “ I am afraid he is a sad old rascal,” said Herbert , sm iling, “ but I have never seen him . Don't you sm ell rum ? He is always at it .” “ At rum ?” said I . 526

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“ Yes,” ret urned Herbert , “ and you m ay suppose how m ild it m akes his gout . He persist s, t oo, in keeping all t he provisions upst airs in his room , and serving t hem out . He keeps t hem on shelves over his head, and will weigh t hem all. His room m ust be like a chandler's shop.” While he t hus spoke, t he growling noise becam e a prolonged roar, and t hen died away. “ What else can be t he consequence,” said Herbert , in explanat ion, “ if he will cut t he cheese? A m an wit h t he gout in his right hand—and everywhere else—can't expect t o get t hrough a Double Gloucest er wit hout hurt ing him self.” He seem ed t o have hurt him self very m uch, for he gave anot her furious roar. “ To have Provis for an upper lodger is quit e a godsend t o Mrs. Whim ple,” said Herbert , “ for of course people in general won't st and t hat noise. A curious place, Handel; isn't it ?” I t was a curious place, indeed; but rem arkably well kept and clean. “ Mrs. Whim ple,” said Herbert , when I t old him so, “ is t he best of housewives, and I really do not know what m y Clara would do wit hout her m ot herly help. For, Clara has no m ot her of her own, Handel, and no relat ion in t he world but old Gruffandgrim .” “ Surely t hat 's not his nam e, Herbert ?” “ No, no,” said Herbert , “ t hat 's m y nam e for him . His nam e is Mr. Barley. But what a blessing it is for t he son of m y fat her and m ot her, t o love a girl who has no relat ions, and who can never bot her herself, or anybody else, about her fam ily! ” 527

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Herbert had t old m e on form er occasions, and now rem inded m e, t hat he first knew Miss Clara Barley when she was com plet ing her educat ion at an est ablishm ent at Ham m ersm it h, and t hat on her being recalled hom e t o nurse her fat her, he and she had confided t heir affect ion t o t he m ot herly Mrs. Whim ple, by whom it had been fost ered and regulat ed wit h equal kindness and discret ion, ever since. I t was underst ood t hat not hing of a t ender nat ure could possibly be confided t o old Barley, by reason of his being t ot ally unequal t o t he considerat ion of any subj ect m ore psychological t han Gout , Rum , and Purser's st ores. As we were t hus conversing in a low t one while Old Barley's sust ained growl vibrat ed in t he beam t hat crossed t he ceiling, t he room door opened, and a very pret t y slight dark- eyed girl of t went y or so, cam e in wit h a basket in her hand: whom Herbert t enderly relieved of t he basket , and present ed blushing, as “ Clara.” She really was a m ost charm ing girl, and m ight have passed for a capt ive fairy, whom t hat t ruculent Ogre, Old Barley, had pressed int o his service. “ Look here,” said Herbert , showing m e t he basket , wit h a com passionat e and t ender sm ile aft er we had t alked a lit t le; “ here's poor Clara's supper, served out every night . Here's her allowance of bread, and here's her slice of cheese, and here's her rum —which I drink. This is Mr. Barley's breakfast for t o- m orrow, served out t o be cooked. Two m ut t on chops, t hree pot at oes, som e split peas, a lit t le flour, t wo ounces of but t er, a pinch of salt , and all t his black pepper. I t 's st ewed 528

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up t oget her, and t aken hot , and it 's a nice t hing for t he gout , I should t hink! ” There was som et hing so nat ural and winning in Clara's resigned way of looking at t hese st ores in det ail, as Herbert point ed t hem out ,—and som et hing so confiding, loving, and innocent , in her m odest m anner of yielding herself t o Herbert 's em bracing arm —and som et hing so gent le in her, so m uch needing prot ect ion on Mill Pond Bank, by Chinks's Basin, and t he Old Green Copper Rope- Walk, wit h Old Barley growling in t he beam —t hat I would not have undone t he engagem ent bet ween her and Herbert , for all t he m oney in t he pocket - book I had never opened. I was looking at her wit h pleasure and adm irat ion, when suddenly t he growl swelled int o a roar again, and a fright ful bum ping noise was heard above, as if a giant wit h a wooden leg were t rying t o bore it t hrough t he ceiling t o com e t o us. Upon t his Clara said t o Herbert , “ Papa want s m e, darling! ” and ran away. “ There is an unconscionable old shark for you! ” said Herbert . “ What do you suppose he want s now, Handel?” “ I don't know,” said I . “ Som et hing t o drink?” “ That 's it ! ” cried Herbert , as if I had m ade a guess of ext raordinary m erit . “ He keeps his grog ready- m ixed in a lit t le t ub on t he t able. Wait a m om ent , and you'll hear Clara lift him up t o t ake som e.—There he goes! ” Anot her roar, wit h a prolonged shake at t he end. “ Now,” said Herbert , as it was succeeded by silence, “ he's drinking. Now,” said Herbert , as t he growl resounded in t he beam once m ore, “ he's down again on his back! ” 529

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Clara ret urned soon aft erwards, and Herbert accom panied m e up- st airs t o see our charge. As we passed Mr. Barley's door, he was heard hoarsely m ut t ering wit hin, in a st rain t hat rose and fell like wind, t he following Refrain; in which I subst it ut e good wishes for som et hing quit e t he reverse. “ Ahoy! Bless your eyes, here's old Bill Barley. Here's old Bill Barley, bless your eyes. Here's old Bill Barley on t he flat of his back, by t he Lord. Lying on t he flat of his back, like a drift ing old dead flounder, here's your old Bill Barley, bless your eyes. Ahoy! Bless you.” I n t his st rain of consolat ion, Herbert inform ed m e t he invisible Barley would com m une wit h him self by t he day and night t oget her; oft en while it was light , having, at t he sam e t im e, one eye at a t elescope which was fit t ed on his bed for t he convenience of sweeping t he river. I n his t wo cabin room s at t he t op of t he house, which were fresh and airy, and in which Mr. Barley was less audible t han below, I found Provis com fort ably set t led. He expressed no alarm , and seem ed t o feel none t hat was wort h m ent ioning; but it st ruck m e t hat he was soft ened—indefinably, for I could not have said how, and could never aft erwards recall how when I t ried; but cert ainly. The opport unit y t hat t he day's rest had given m e for reflect ion, had result ed in m y fully det erm ining t o say not hing t o him respect ing Com peyson. For anyt hing I knew, his anim osit y t owards t he m an m ight ot herwise lead t o his seeking him out and rushing on his own dest ruct ion. Therefore, when Herbert and I sat down wit h him by his fire, I 530

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asked him first of all whet her he relied on Wem m ick's j udgm ent and sources of inform at ion? “ Ay, ay, dear boy! ” he answered, wit h a grave nod, “ Jaggers knows.” “ Then, I have t alked wit h Wem m ick,” said I , “ and have com e t o t ell you what caut ion he gave m e and what advice.” This I did accurat ely, wit h t he reservat ion j ust m ent ioned; and I t old him how Wem m ick had heard, in Newgat e prison ( whet her from officers or prisoners I could not say) , t hat he was under som e suspicion, and t hat m y cham bers had been wat ched; how Wem m ick had recom m ended his keeping close for a t im e, and m y keeping away from him ; and what Wem m ick had said about get t ing him abroad. I added, t hat of course, when t he t im e cam e, I should go wit h him , or should follow close upon him , as m ight be safest in Wem m ick's j udgm ent . What was t o follow t hat , I did not t ouch upon; neit her indeed was I at all clear or com fort able about it in m y own m ind, now t hat I saw him in t hat soft er condit ion, and in declared peril for m y sake. As t o alt ering m y way of living, by enlarging m y expenses, I put it t o him whet her in our present unset t led and difficult circum st ances, it would not be sim ply ridiculous, if it were no worse? He could not deny t his, and indeed was very reasonable t hroughout . His com ing back was a vent ure, he said, and he had always known it t o be a vent ure. He would do not hing t o m ake it a desperat e vent ure, and he had very lit t le fear of his safet y wit h such good help. Herbert , who had been looking at t he fire and pondering, here said t hat som et hing had com e int o his t hought s arising 531

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out of Wem m ick's suggest ion, which it m ight be wort h while t o pursue. “ We are bot h good wat erm en, Handel, and could t ake him down t he river ourselves when t he right t im e com es. No boat would t hen be hired for t he purpose, and no boat m en; t hat would save at least a chance of suspicion, and any chance is wort h saving. Never m ind t he season; don't you t hink it m ight be a good t hing if you began at once t o keep a boat at t he Tem ple st airs, and were in t he habit of rowing up and down t he river? You fall int o t hat habit , and t hen who not ices or m inds? Do it t went y or fift y t im es, and t here is not hing special in your doing it t he t went y- first or fift y- first .” I liked t his schem e, and Provis was quit e elat ed by it . We agreed t hat it should be carried int o execut ion, and t hat Provis should never recognize us if we cam e below Bridge and rowed past Mill Pond Bank. But , we furt her agreed t hat he should pull down t he blind in t hat part of his window which gave upon t he east , whenever he saw us and all was right . Our conference being now ended, and everyt hing arranged, I rose t o go; rem arking t o Herbert t hat he and I had bet t er not go hom e t oget her, and t hat I would t ake half an hour's st art of him . “ I don't like t o leave you here,” I said t o Provis, “ t hough I cannot doubt your being safer here t han near m e. Good- bye! ” “ Dear boy,” he answered, clasping m y hands, “ I don't know when we m ay m eet again, and I don't like Good- bye. Say Good Night ! ” “ Good night ! Herbert will go regularly bet ween us, and when t he t im e com es you m ay be cert ain I shall be ready. Good night , Good night ! ” 532

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We t hought it best t hat he should st ay in his own room s, and we left him on t he landing out side his door, holding a light over t he st air- rail t o light us down st airs. Looking back at him , I t hought of t he first night of his ret urn when our posit ions were reversed, and when I lit t le supposed m y heart could ever be as heavy and anxious at part ing from him as it was now. Old Barley was growling and swearing when we repassed his door, wit h no appearance of having ceased or of m eaning t o cease. When we got t o t he foot of t he st airs, I asked Herbert whet her he had preserved t he nam e of Provis. He replied, cert ainly not , and t hat t he lodger was Mr. Cam pbell. He also explained t hat t he ut m ost known of Mr. Cam pbell t here, was, t hat he ( Herbert ) had Mr. Cam pbell consigned t o him , and felt a st rong personal int erest in his being well cared for, and living a secluded life. So, when we went int o t he parlour where Mrs. Whim ple and Clara were seat ed at work, I said not hing of m y own int erest in Mr. Cam pbell, but kept it t o m yself. When I had t aken leave of t he pret t y gent le dark- eyed girl, and of t he m ot herly wom an who had not out lived her honest sym pat hy wit h a lit t le affair of t rue love, I felt as if t he Old Green Copper Rope- Walk had grown quit e a different place. Old Barley m ight be as old as t he hills, and m ight swear like a whole field of t roopers, but t here were redeem ing yout h and t rust and hope enough in Chinks's Basin t o fill it t o overflowing. And t hen I t hought of Est ella, and of our part ing, and went hom e very sadly. 533

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All t hings were as quiet in t he Tem ple as ever I had seen t hem . The windows of t he room s on t hat side, lat ely occupied by Provis, were dark and st ill, and t here was no lounger in Garden Court . I walked past t he fount ain t wice or t hrice before I descended t he st eps t hat were bet ween m e and m y room s, but I was quit e alone. Herbert com ing t o m y bedside when he cam e in—for I went st raight t o bed, dispirit ed and fat igued—m ade t he sam e report . Opening one of t he windows aft er t hat , he looked out int o t he m oonlight , and t old m e t hat t he pavem ent was a solem nly em pt y as t he pavem ent of any Cat hedral at t hat sam e hour. Next day, I set m yself t o get t he boat . I t was soon done, and t he boat was brought round t o t he Tem ple st airs, and lay where I could reach her wit hin a m inut e or t wo. Then, I began t o go out as for t raining and pract ice: som et im es alone, som et im es wit h Herbert . I was oft en out in cold, rain, and sleet , but nobody t ook m uch not e of m e aft er I had been out a few t im es. At first , I kept above Blackfriars Bridge; but as t he hours of t he t ide changed, I t ook t owards London Bridge. I t was Old London Bridge in t hose days, and at cert ain st at es of t he t ide t here was a race and fall of wat er t here which gave it a bad reput at ion. But I knew well enough how t o “ shoot ’ t he bridge aft er seeing it done, and so began t o row about am ong t he shipping in t he Pool, and down t o Erit h. The first t im e I passed Mill Pond Bank, Herbert and I were pulling a pair of oars; and, bot h in going and ret urning, we saw t he blind t owards t he east com e down. Herbert was rarely t here less frequent ly t han t hree t im es in a week, and he never brought m e a single word of int elligence t hat was at all 534

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alarm ing. St ill, I knew t hat t here was cause for alarm , and I could not get rid of t he not ion of being wat ched. Once received, it is a haunt ing idea; how m any undesigning persons I suspect ed of wat ching m e, it would be hard t o calculat e. I n short , I was always full of fears for t he rash m an who was in hiding. Herbert had som et im es said t o m e t hat he found it pleasant t o st and at one of our windows aft er dark, when t he t ide was running down, and t o t hink t hat it was flowing, wit h everyt hing it bore, t owards Clara. But I t hought wit h dread t hat it was flowing t owards Magwit ch, and t hat any black m ark on it s surface m ight be his pursuers, going swift ly, silent ly, and surely, t o t ake him .

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Chapt er 47 Som e weeks passed wit hout bringing any change. We wait ed for Wem m ick, and he m ade no sign. I f I had never known him out of Lit t le Brit ain, and had never enj oyed t he privilege of being on a fam iliar foot ing at t he Cast le, I m ight have doubt ed him ; not so for a m om ent , knowing him as I did. My worldly affairs began t o wear a gloom y appearance, and I was pressed for m oney by m ore t han one credit or. Even I m yself began t o know t he want of m oney ( I m ean of ready m oney in m y own pocket ) , and t o relieve it by convert ing som e easily spared art icles of j ewellery int o cash. But I had quit e det erm ined t hat it would be a heart less fraud t o t ake m ore m oney from m y pat ron in t he exist ing st at e of m y uncert ain t hought s and plans. Therefore, I had sent him t he unopened pocket - book by Herbert , t o hold in his own keeping, and I felt a kind of sat isfact ion—whet her it was a false kind or a t rue, I hardly know—in not having profit ed by his generosit y since his revelat ion of him self. As t he t im e wore on, an im pression set t led heavily upon m e t hat Est ella was m arried. Fearful of having it confirm ed, t hough it was all but a convict ion, I avoided t he newspapers, and begged Herbert ( t o whom I had confided t he circum st ances of our last int erview) never t o speak of her t o m e. Why I hoarded up t his last wret ched lit t le rag of t he robe of hope t hat was rent and given t o t he winds, how do I know! 536

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Why did you who read t his, com m it t hat not dissim ilar inconsist ency of your own, last year, last m ont h, last week? I t was an unhappy life t hat I lived, and it s one dom inant anxiet y, t owering over all it s ot her anxiet ies like a high m ount ain above a range of m ount ains, never disappeared from m y view. St ill, no new cause for fear arose. Let m e st art from m y bed as I would, wit h t he t error fresh upon m e t hat he was discovered; let m e sit list ening as I would, wit h dread, for Herbert 's ret urning st ep at night , lest it should be fleet er t han ordinary, and winged wit h evil news; for all t hat , and m uch m ore t o like purpose, t he round of t hings went on. Condem ned t o inact ion and a st at e of const ant rest lessness and suspense, I rowed about in m y boat , and wait ed, wait ed, wait ed, as I best could. There were st at es of t he t ide when, having been down t he river, I could not get back t hrough t he eddy- chafed arches and st arlings of old London Bridge; t hen, I left m y boat at a wharf near t he Cust om House, t o be brought up aft erwards t o t he Tem ple st airs. I was not averse t o doing t his, as it served t o m ake m e and m y boat a com m oner incident am ong t he wat er- side people t here. From t his slight occasion, sprang t wo m eet ings t hat I have now t o t ell of. One aft ernoon, lat e in t he m ont h of February, I cam e ashore at t he wharf at dusk. I had pulled down as far as Greenwich wit h t he ebb t ide, and had t urned wit h t he t ide. I t had been a fine bright day, but had becom e foggy as t he sun dropped, and I had had t o feel m y way back am ong t he shipping, pret t y carefully. Bot h in going and ret urning, I had seen t he signal in his window, All well. 537

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As it was a raw evening and I was cold, I t hought I would com fort m yself wit h dinner at once; and as I had hours of dej ect ion and solit ude before m e if I went hom e t o t he Tem ple, I t hought I would aft erwards go t o t he play. The t heat re where Mr. Wopsle had achieved his quest ionable t rium ph, was in t hat wat erside neighbourhood ( it is nowhere now) , and t o t hat t heat re I resolved t o go. I was aware t hat Mr. Wopsle had not succeeded in reviving t he Dram a, but , on t he cont rary, had rat her part aken of it s decline. He had been om inously heard of, t hrough t he playbills, as a fait hful Black, in connexion wit h a lit t le girl of noble birt h, and a m onkey. And Herbert had seen him as a predat ory Tart ar of com ic propensit ies, wit h a face like a red brick, and an out rageous hat all over bells. I dined at what Herbert and I used t o call a Geographical chop- house—where t here were m aps of t he world in port erpot rim s on every half- yard of t he t able- clot hs, and chart s of gravy on every one of t he knives—t o t his day t here is scarcely a single chop- house wit hin t he Lord Mayor's dom inions which is not Geographical—and wore out t he t im e in dozing over crum bs, st aring at gas, and baking in a hot blast of dinners. By- and- by, I roused m yself and went t o t he play. There, I found a virt uous boat swain in his Maj est y's service—a m ost excellent m an, t hough I could have wished his t rousers not quit e so t ight in som e places and not quit e so loose in ot hers—who knocked all t he lit t le m en's hat s over t heir eyes, t hough he was very generous and brave, and who wouldn't hear of anybody's paying t axes, t hough he was very pat riot ic. He had a bag of m oney in his pocket , like a pudding 538

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in t he clot h, and on t hat propert y m arried a young person in bed- furnit ure, wit h great rej oicings; t he whole populat ion of Port sm out h ( nine in num ber at t he last Census) t urning out on t he beach, t o rub t heir own hands and shake everybody else's, and sing “ Fill, fill! ” A cert ain dark- com plexioned Swab, however, who wouldn't fill, or do anyt hing else t hat was proposed t o him , and whose heart was openly st at ed ( by t he boat swain) t o be as black as his figure- head, proposed t o t wo ot her Swabs t o get all m ankind int o difficult ies; which was so effect ually done ( t he Swab fam ily having considerable polit ical influence) t hat it t ook half t he evening t o set t hings right , and t hen it was only brought about t hrough an honest lit t le grocer wit h a whit e hat , black gait ers, and red nose, get t ing int o a clock, wit h a gridiron, and list ening, and com ing out , and knocking everybody down from behind wit h t he gridiron whom he couldn't confut e wit h what he had overheard. This led t o Mr. Wopsle's ( who had never been heard of before) com ing in wit h a st ar and gart er on, as a plenipot ent iary of great power direct from t he Adm iralt y, t o say t hat t he Swabs were all t o go t o prison on t he spot , and t hat he had brought t he boat swain down t he Union Jack, as a slight acknowledgm ent of his public services. The boat swain, unm anned for t he first t im e, respect fully dried his eyes on t he Jack, and t hen cheering up and addressing Mr. Wopsle as Your Honour, solicit ed perm ission t o t ake him by t he fin. Mr. Wopsle conceding his fin wit h a gracious dignit y, was im m ediat ely shoved int o a dust y corner while everybody danced a hornpipe; and from t hat corner, surveying t he public wit h a discont ent ed eye, becam e aware of m e. 539

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The second piece was t he last new grand com ic Christ m as pant om im e, in t he first scene of which, it pained m e t o suspect t hat I det ect ed Mr. Wopsle wit h red worst ed legs under a highly m agnified phosphoric count enance and a shock of red curt ain- fringe for his hair, engaged in t he m anufact ure of t hunderbolt s in a m ine, and displaying great cowardice when his gigant ic m ast er cam e hom e ( very hoarse) t o dinner. But he present ly present ed him self under wort hier circum st ances; for, t he Genius of Yout hful Love being in want of assist ance—on account of t he parent al brut alit y of an ignorant farm er who opposed t he choice of his daught er's heart , by purposely falling upon t he obj ect , in a flour sack, out of t he first floor window—sum m oned a sent ent ious Enchant er; and he, com ing up from t he ant ipodes rat her unst eadily, aft er an apparent ly violent j ourney, proved t o be Mr. Wopsle in a high- crowned hat , wit h a necrom ant ic work in one volum e under his arm . The business of t his enchant er on eart h, being principally t o be t alked at , sung at , but t ed at , danced at , and flashed at wit h fires of various colours, he had a good deal of t im e on his hands. And I observed wit h great surprise, t hat he devot ed it t o st aring in m y direct ion as if he were lost in am azem ent . There was som et hing so rem arkable in t he increasing glare of Mr. Wopsle's eye, and he seem ed t o be t urning so m any t hings over in his m ind and t o grow so confused, t hat I could not m ake it out . I sat t hinking of it , long aft er he had ascended t o t he clouds in a large wat ch- case, and st ill I could not m ake it out . I was st ill t hinking of it when I cam e out of 540

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t he t heat re an hour aft erwards, and found him wait ing for m e near t he door. “ How do you do?” said I , shaking hands wit h him as we t urned down t he st reet t oget her. “ I saw t hat you saw m e.” “ Saw you, Mr. Pip! ” he ret urned. “ Yes, of course I saw you. But who else was t here?” “ Who else?” “ I t is t he st rangest t hing,” said Mr. Wopsle, drift ing int o his lost look again; “ and yet I could swear t o him .” Becom ing alarm ed, I ent reat ed Mr. Wopsle t o explain his m eaning. “ Whet her I should have not iced him at first but for your being t here,” said Mr. Wopsle, going on in t he sam e lost way, “ I can't be posit ive; yet I t hink I should.” I nvolunt arily I looked round m e, as I was accust om ed t o look round m e when I went hom e; for, t hese m yst erious words gave m e a chill. “ Oh! He can't be in sight ,” said Mr. Wopsle. “ He went out , before I went off, I saw him go.” Having t he reason t hat I had, for being suspicious, I even suspect ed t his poor act or. I m ist rust ed a design t o ent rap m e int o som e adm ission. Therefore, I glanced at him as we walked on t oget her, but said not hing. “ I had a ridiculous fancy t hat he m ust be wit h you, Mr. Pip, t ill I saw t hat you were quit e unconscious of him , sit t ing behind you t here, like a ghost .” My form er chill crept over m e again, but I was resolved not t o speak yet , for it was quit e consist ent wit h his words t hat he m ight be set on t o induce m e t o connect t hese references 541

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wit h Provis. Of course, I was perfect ly sure and safe t hat Provis had not been t here. “ I dare say you wonder at m e, Mr. Pip; indeed I see you do. But it is so very st range! You'll hardly believe what I am going t o t ell you. I could hardly believe it m yself, if you t old m e.” “ I ndeed?” said I . “ No, indeed. Mr. Pip, you rem em ber in old t im es a cert ain Christ m as Day, when you were quit e a child, and I dined at Gargery's, and som e soldiers cam e t o t he door t o get a pair of handcuffs m ended?” “ I rem em ber it very well.” “ And you rem em ber t hat t here was a chase aft er t wo convict s, and t hat we j oined in it , and t hat Gargery t ook you on his back, and t hat I t ook t he lead and you kept up wit h m e as well as you could?” “ I rem em ber it all very well.” Bet t er t han he t hought — except t he last clause. “ And you rem em ber t hat we cam e up wit h t he t wo in a dit ch, and t hat t here was a scuffle bet ween t hem , and t hat one of t hem had been severely handled and m uch m auled about t he face, by t he ot her?” “ I see it all before m e.” “ And t hat t he soldiers light ed t orches, and put t he t wo in t he cent re, and t hat we went on t o see t he last of t hem , over t he black m arshes, wit h t he t orchlight shining on t heir faces— I am part icular about t hat ; wit h t he t orchlight shining on t heir faces, when t here was an out er ring of dark night all about us?” 542

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“ Yes,” said I . “ I rem em ber all t hat .” “ Then, Mr. Pip, one of t hose t wo prisoners sat behind you t onight . I saw him over your shoulder.” “ St eady! ” I t hought . I asked him t hen, “ Which of t he t wo do you suppose you saw?” “ The one who had been m auled,” he answered readily, “ and I 'll swear I saw him ! The m ore I t hink of him , t he m ore cert ain I am of him .” “ This is very curious! ” said I , wit h t he best assum pt ion I could put on, of it s being not hing m ore t o m e. “ Very curious indeed! ” I cannot exaggerat e t he enhanced disquiet int o which t his conversat ion t hrew m e, or t he special and peculiar t error I felt at Com peyson's having been behind m e “ like a ghost .” For, if he had ever been out of m y t hought s for a few m om ent s t oget her since t he hiding had begun, it was in t hose very m om ent s when he was closest t o m e; and t o t hink t hat I should be so unconscious and off m y guard aft er all m y care, was as if I had shut an avenue of a hundred doors t o keep him out , and t hen had found him at m y elbow. I could not doubt eit her t hat he was t here, because I was t here, and t hat however slight an appearance of danger t here m ight be about us, danger was always near and act ive. I put such quest ions t o Mr. Wopsle as, When did t he m an com e in? He could not t ell m e t hat ; he saw m e, and over m y shoulder he saw t he m an. I t was not unt il he had seen him for som e t im e t hat he began t o ident ify him ; but he had from t he first vaguely associat ed him wit h m e, and known him as som ehow belonging t o m e in t he old village t im e. How was he 543

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dressed? Prosperously, but not not iceably ot herwise; he t hought , in black. Was his face at all disfigured? No, he believed not . I believed not , t oo, for, alt hough in m y brooding st at e I had t aken no especial not ice of t he people behind m e, I t hought it likely t hat a face at all disfigured would have at t ract ed m y at t ent ion. When Mr. Wopsle had im part ed t o m e all t hat he could recall or I ext ract , and when I had t reat ed him t o a lit t le appropriat e refreshm ent aft er t he fat igues of t he evening, we part ed. I t was bet ween t welve and one o'clock when I reached t he Tem ple, and t he gat es were shut . No one was near m e when I went in and went hom e. Herbert had com e in, and we held a very serious council by t he fire. But t here was not hing t o be done, saving t o com m unicat e t o Wem m ick what I had t hat night found out , and t o rem ind him t hat we wait ed for his hint . As I t hought t hat I m ight com prom ise him if I went t oo oft en t o t he Cast le, I m ade t his com m unicat ion by let t er. I wrot e it before I went t o bed, and went out and post ed it ; and again no one was near m e. Herbert and I agreed t hat we could do not hing else but be very caut ious. And we were very caut ious indeed— m ore caut ious t han before, if t hat were possible—and I for m y part never went near Chinks's Basin, except when I rowed by, and t hen I only looked at Mill Pond Bank as I looked at anyt hing else.

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Chapt er 48 The second of t he t wo m eet ings referred t o in t he last chapt er, occurred about a week aft er t he first . I had again left m y boat at t he wharf below Bridge; t he t im e was an hour earlier in t he aft ernoon; and, undecided where t o dine, I had st rolled up int o Cheapside, and was st rolling along it , surely t he m ost unset t led person in all t he busy concourse, when a large hand was laid upon m y shoulder, by som e one overt aking m e. I t was Mr. Jaggers's hand, and he passed it t hrough m y arm . “ As we are going in t he sam e direct ion, Pip, we m ay walk t oget her. Where are you bound for?” “ For t he Tem ple, I t hink,” said I . “ Don't you know?” said Mr. Jaggers. “ Well,” I ret urned, glad for once t o get t he bet t er of him in cross- exam inat ion, “ I do not know, for I have not m ade up m y m ind.” “ You are going t o dine?” said Mr. Jaggers. “ You don't m ind adm it t ing t hat , I suppose?” “ No,” I ret urned, “ I don't m ind adm it t ing t hat .” “ And are not engaged?” “ I don't m ind adm it t ing also, t hat I am not engaged.” “ Then,” said Mr. Jaggers, “ com e and dine wit h m e.” I was going t o excuse m yself, when he added, “ Wem m ick's com ing.” So, I changed m y excuse int o an accept ance—t he few words I had ut t ered, serving for t he beginning of eit her— and we went along Cheapside and slant ed off t o Lit t le Brit ain, 545

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while t he light s were springing up brilliant ly in t he shop windows, and t he st reet lam p- light ers, scarcely finding ground enough t o plant t heir ladders on in t he m idst of t he aft ernoon's bust le, were skipping up and down and running in and out , opening m ore red eyes in t he gat hering fog t han m y rushlight t ower at t he Hum m um s had opened whit e eyes in t he ghost ly wall. At t he office in Lit t le Brit ain t here was t he usual let t erwrit ing, hand- washing, candle- snuffing, and safe- locking, t hat closed t he business of t he day. As I st ood idle by Mr. Jaggers's fire, it s rising and falling flam e m ade t he t wo cast s on t he shelf look as if t hey were playing a diabolical gam e at bo- peep wit h m e; while t he pair of coarse fat office candles t hat dim ly light ed Mr. Jaggers as he wrot e in a corner, were decorat ed wit h dirt y winding- sheet s, as if in rem em brance of a host of hanged client s. We went t o Gerrard- st reet , all t hree t oget her, in a hackney coach: and as soon as we got t here, dinner was served. Alt hough I should not have t hought of m aking, in t hat place, t he m ost dist ant reference by so m uch as a look t o Wem m ick's Walwort h sent im ent s, yet I should have had no obj ect ion t o cat ching his eye now and t hen in a friendly way. But it was not t o be done. He t urned his eyes on Mr. Jaggers whenever he raised t hem from t he t able, and was as dry and dist ant t o m e as if t here were t win Wem m icks and t his was t he wrong one. “ Did you send t hat not e of Miss Havisham 's t o Mr. Pip, Wem m ick?” Mr. Jaggers asked, soon aft er we began dinner. 546

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“ No, sir,” ret urned Wem m ick; “ it was going by post , when you brought Mr. Pip int o t he office. Here it is.” He handed it t o his principal, inst ead of t o m e. “ I t 's a not e of t wo lines, Pip,” said Mr. Jaggers, handing it on, “ sent up t o m e by Miss Havisham , on account of her not being sure of your address. She t ells m e t hat she want s t o see you on a lit t le m at t er of business you m ent ioned t o her. You'll go down?” “ Yes,” said I , cast ing m y eyes over t he not e, which was exact ly in t hose t erm s. “ When do you t hink of going down?” “ I have an im pending engagem ent ,” said I , glancing at Wem m ick, who was put t ing fish int o t he post - office, “ t hat renders m e rat her uncert ain of m y t im e. At once, I t hink.” “ I f Mr. Pip has t he int ent ion of going at once,” said Wem m ick t o Mr. Jaggers, “ he needn't writ e an answer, you know.” Receiving t his as an int im at ion t hat it was best not t o delay, I set t led t hat I would go t o- m orrow, and said so. Wem m ick drank a glass of wine and looked wit h a grim ly sat isfied air at Mr. Jaggers, but not at m e. “ So, Pip! Our friend t he Spider,” said Mr. Jaggers, “ has played his cards. He has won t he pool.” I t was as m uch as I could do t o assent . “ Hah! He is a prom ising fellow—in his way—but he m ay not have it all his own way. The st ronger will win in t he end, but t he st ronger has t o be found out first . I f he should t urn t o, and beat her—” 547

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“ Surely,” I int errupt ed, wit h a burning face and heart , “ you do not seriously t hink t hat he is scoundrel enough for t hat , Mr. Jaggers?” “ I didn't say so, Pip. I am put t ing a case. I f he should t urn t o and beat her, he m ay possibly get t he st rengt h on his side; if it should be a quest ion of int ellect , he cert ainly will not . I t would be chance work t o give an opinion how a fellow of t hat sort will t urn out in such circum st ances, because it 's a t oss- up bet ween t wo result s.” “ May I ask what t hey are?” “ A fellow like our friend t he Spider,” answered Mr. Jaggers, “ eit her beat s, or cringes. He m ay cringe and growl, or cringe and not growl; but he eit her beat s or cringes. Ask Wem m ick his opinion.” “ Eit her beat s or cringes,” said Wem m ick, not at all addressing him self t o m e. “ So, here's t o Mrs. Bent ley Drum m le,” said Mr. Jaggers, t aking a decant er of choicer wine from his dum b- wait er, and filling for each of us and for him self, “ and m ay t he quest ion of suprem acy be set t led t o t he lady's sat isfact ion! To t he sat isfact ion of t he lady and t he gent lem an, it never will be. Now, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, how slow you are t o- day! ” She was at his elbow when he addressed her, put t ing a dish upon t he t able. As she wit hdrew her hands from it , she fell back a st ep or t wo, nervously m ut t ering som e excuse. And a cert ain act ion of her fingers as she spoke arrest ed m y at t ent ion. “ What 's t he m at t er?” said Mr. Jaggers. 548

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“ Not hing. Only t he subj ect we were speaking of,” said I , “ was rat her painful t o m e.” The act ion of her fingers was like t he act ion of knit t ing. She st ood looking at her m ast er, not underst anding whet her she was free t o go, or whet her he had m ore t o say t o her and would call her back if she did go. Her look was very int ent . Surely, I had seen exact ly such eyes and such hands, on a m em orable occasion very lat ely! He dism issed her, and she glided out of t he room . But she rem ained before m e, as plainly as if she were st ill t here. I looked at t hose hands, I looked at t hose eyes, I looked at t hat flowing hair; and I com pared t hem wit h ot her hands, ot her eyes, ot her hair, t hat I knew of, and wit h what t hose m ight be aft er t went y years of a brut al husband and a st orm y life. I looked again at t hose hands and eyes of t he housekeeper, and t hought of t he inexplicable feeling t hat had com e over m e when I last walked—not alone—in t he ruined garden, and t hrough t he desert ed brewery. I t hought how t he sam e feeling had com e back when I saw a face looking at m e, and a hand waving t o m e, from a st age- coach window; and how it had com e back again and had flashed about m e like Light ning, when I had passed in a carriage—not alone— t hrough a sudden glare of light in a dark st reet . I t hought how one link of associat ion had helped t hat ident ificat ion in t he t heat re, and how such a link, want ing before, had been rivet ed for m e now, when I had passed by a chance swift from Est ella's nam e t o t he fingers wit h t heir knit t ing act ion, and t he at t ent ive eyes. And I felt absolut ely cert ain t hat t his wom an was Est ella's m ot her. 549

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Mr. Jaggers had seen m e wit h Est ella, and was not likely t o have m issed t he sent im ent s I had been at no pains t o conceal. He nodded when I said t he subj ect was painful t o m e, clapped m e on t he back, put round t he wine again, and went on wit h his dinner. Only t wice m ore, did t he housekeeper reappear, and t hen her st ay in t he room was very short , and Mr. Jaggers was sharp wit h her. But her hands were Est ella's hands, and her eyes were Est ella's eyes, and if she had reappeared a hundred t im es I could have been neit her m ore sure nor less sure t hat m y convict ion was t he t rut h. I t was a dull evening, for Wem m ick drew his wine when it cam e round, quit e as a m at t er of business—j ust as he m ight have drawn his salary when t hat cam e round—and wit h his eyes on his chief, sat in a st at e of perpet ual readiness for cross- exam inat ion. As t o t he quant it y of wine, his post - office was as indifferent and ready as any ot her post - office for it s quant it y of let t ers. From m y point of view, he was t he wrong t win all t he t im e, and only ext ernally like t he Wem m ick of Walwort h. We t ook our leave early, and left t oget her. Even when we were groping am ong Mr. Jaggers's st ock of boot s for our hat s, I felt t hat t he right t win was on his way back; and we had not gone half a dozen yards down Gerrard- st reet in t he Walwort h direct ion before I found t hat I was walking arm - in- arm wit h t he right t win, and t hat t he wrong t win had evaporat ed int o t he evening air. “ Well! ” said Wem m ick, “ t hat 's over! He's a wonderful m an, wit hout his living likeness; but I feel t hat I have t o screw 550

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m yself up when I dine wit h him —and I dine m ore com fort ably unscrewed.” I felt t hat t his was a good st at em ent of t he case, and t old him so. “ Wouldn't say it t o anybody but yourself,” he answered. “ I know t hat what is said bet ween you and m e, goes no furt her.” I asked him if he had ever seen Miss Havisham 's adopt ed daught er, Mrs. Bent ley Drum m le? He said no. To avoid being t oo abrupt , I t hen spoke of t he Aged, and of Miss Skiffins. He looked rat her sly when I m ent ioned Miss Skiffins, and st opped in t he st reet t o blow his nose, wit h a roll of t he head and a flourish not quit e free from lat ent boast fulness. “ Wem m ick,” said I , “ do you rem em ber t elling m e before I first went t o Mr. Jaggers's privat e house, t o not ice t hat housekeeper?” “ Did I ?” he replied. “ Ah, I dare say I did. Deuce t ake m e,” he added, suddenly, “ I know I did. I find I am not quit e unscrewed yet .” “ A wild beast t am ed, you called her.” “ And what do you call her?” “ The sam e. How did Mr. Jaggers t am e her, Wem m ick?” “ That 's his secret . She has been wit h him m any a long year.” “ I wish you would t ell m e her st ory. I feel a part icular int erest in being acquaint ed wit h it . You know t hat what is said bet ween you and m e goes no furt her.”

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“ Well! ” Wem m ick replied, “ I don't know her st ory—t hat is, I don't know all of it . But what I do know, I 'll t ell you. We are in our privat e and personal capacit ies, of course.” “ Of course.” “ A score or so of years ago, t hat wom an was t ried at t he Old Bailey for m urder, and was acquit t ed. She was a very handsom e young wom an, and I believe had som e gipsy blood in her. Anyhow, it was hot enough when it was up, as you m ay suppose.” “ But she was acquit t ed.” “ Mr. Jaggers was for her,” pursued Wem m ick, wit h a look full of m eaning, “ and worked t he case in a way quit e ast onishing. I t was a desperat e case, and it was com parat ively early days wit h him t hen, and he worked it t o general adm irat ion; in fact , it m ay alm ost be said t o have m ade him . He worked it him self at t he police- office, day aft er day for m any days, cont ending against even a com m it t al; and at t he t rial where he couldn't work it him self, sat under Counsel, and—every one knew—put in all t he salt and pepper. The m urdered person was a wom an; a wom an, a good t en years older, very m uch larger, and very m uch st ronger. I t was a case of j ealousy. They bot h led t ram ping lives, and t his wom an in Gerrard- st reet here had been m arried very young, over t he broom st ick ( as we say) , t o a t ram ping m an, and was a perfect fury in point of j ealousy. The m urdered wom an— m ore a m at ch for t he m an, cert ainly, in point of years—was found dead in a barn near Hounslow Heat h. There had been a violent st ruggle, perhaps a fight . She was bruised and scrat ched and t orn, and had been held by t he t hroat at last 552

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and choked. Now, t here was no reasonable evidence t o im plicat e any person but t his wom an, and, on t he im probabilit ies of her having been able t o do it , Mr. Jaggers principally rest ed his case. You m ay be sure,” said Wem m ick, t ouching m e on t he sleeve, “ t hat he never dwelt upon t he st rengt h of her hands t hen, t hough he som et im es does now.” I had t old Wem m ick of his showing us her wrist s, t hat day of t he dinner part y. “ Well, sir! ” Wem m ick went on; “ it happened—happened, don't you see?—t hat t his wom an was so very art fully dressed from t he t im e of her apprehension, t hat she looked m uch slight er t han she really was; in part icular, her sleeves are always rem em bered t o have been so skilfully cont rived t hat her arm s had quit e a delicat e look. She had only a bruise or t wo about her—not hing for a t ram p—but t he backs of her hands were lacerat ed, and t he quest ion was, was it wit h finger- nails? Now, Mr. Jaggers showed t hat she had st ruggled t hrough a great lot of bram bles which were not as high as her face; but which she could not have got t hrough and kept her hands out of; and bit s of t hose bram bles were act ually found in her skin and put in evidence, as well as t he fact t hat t he bram bles in quest ion were found on exam inat ion t o have been broken t hrough, and t o have lit t le shreds of her dress and lit t le spot s of blood upon t hem here and t here. But t he boldest point he m ade, was t his. I t was at t em pt ed t o be set up in proof of her j ealousy, t hat she was under st rong suspicion of having, at about t he t im e of t he m urder, frant ically dest royed her child by t his m an—som e t hree years old—t o revenge herself upon him . Mr. Jaggers worked t hat , in 553

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t his way. “ We say t hese are not m arks of finger- nails, but m arks of bram bles, and we show you t he bram bles. You say t hey are m arks of finger- nails, and you set up t he hypot hesis t hat she dest royed her child. You m ust accept all consequences of t hat hypot hesis. For anyt hing we know, she m ay have dest royed her child, and t he child in clinging t o her m ay have scrat ched her hands. What t hen? You are not t rying her for t he m urder of her child; why don't you? As t o t his case, if you will have scrat ches, we say t hat , for anyt hing we know, you m ay have account ed for t hem , assum ing for t he sake of argum ent t hat you have not invent ed t hem ! ” To sum up, sir,” said Wem m ick, “ Mr. Jaggers was alt oget her t oo m any for t he Jury, and t hey gave in.” “ Has she been in his service ever since?” “ Yes; but not only t hat ,” said Wem m ick. “ She went int o his service im m ediat ely aft er her acquit t al, t am ed as she is now. She has since been t aught one t hing and anot her in t he way of her dut ies, but she was t am ed from t he beginning.” “ Do you rem em ber t he sex of t he child?” “ Said t o have been a girl.” “ You have not hing m ore t o say t o m e t o- night ?” “ Not hing. I got your let t er and dest royed it . Not hing.” We exchanged a cordial Good Night , and I went hom e, wit h new m at t er for m y t hought s, t hough wit h no relief from t he old.

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Chapt er 49 Put t ing Miss Havisham 's not e in m y pocket , t hat it m ight serve as m y credent ials for so soon reappearing at Sat is House, in case her waywardness should lead her t o express any surprise at seeing m e, I went down again by t he coach next day. But I alight ed at t he Halfway House, and breakfast ed t here, and walked t he rest of t he dist ance; for, I sought t o get int o t he t own quiet ly by t he unfrequent ed ways, and t o leave it in t he sam e m anner. The best light of t he day was gone when I passed along t he quiet echoing court s behind t he High- st reet . The nooks of ruin where t he old m onks had once had t heir refect ories and gardens, and where t he st rong walls were now pressed int o t he service of hum ble sheds and st ables, were alm ost as silent as t he old m onks in t heir graves. The cat hedral chim es had at once a sadder and a m ore rem ot e sound t o m e, as I hurried on avoiding observat ion, t han t hey had ever had before; so, t he swell of t he old organ was borne t o m y ears like funeral m usic; and t he rooks, as t hey hovered about t he grey t ower and swung in t he bare high t rees of t he priorygarden, seem ed t o call t o m e t hat t he place was changed, and t hat Est ella was gone out of it for ever. An elderly wom an whom I had seen before as one of t he servant s who lived in t he supplem ent ary house across t he back court - yard, opened t he gat e. The light ed candle st ood in t he dark passage wit hin, as of old, and I t ook it up and ascended t he st aircase alone. Miss Havisham was not in her 555

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own room , but was in t he larger room across t he landing. Looking in at t he door, aft er knocking in vain, I saw her sit t ing on t he heart h in a ragged chair, close before, and lost in t he cont em plat ion of, t he ashy fire. Doing as I had oft en done, I went in, and st ood, t ouching t he old chim ney- piece, where she could see m e when she raised her eyes. There was an air or ut t er loneliness upon her, t hat would have m oved m e t o pit y t hough she had wilfully done m e a deeper inj ury t han I could charge her wit h. As I st ood com passionat ing her, and t hinking how in t he progress of t im e I t oo had com e t o be a part of t he wrecked fort unes of t hat house, her eyes rest ed on m e. She st ared, and said in a low voice, “ I s it real?” “ I t is I , Pip. Mr. Jaggers gave m e your not e yest erday, and I have lost no t im e.” “ Thank you. Thank you.” As I brought anot her of t he ragged chairs t o t he heart h and sat down, I rem arked a new expression on her face, as if she were afraid of m e. “ I want ,” she said, “ t o pursue t hat subj ect you m ent ioned t o m e when you were last here, and t o show you t hat I am not all st one. But perhaps you can never believe, now, t hat t here is anyt hing hum an in m y heart ?” When I said som e reassuring words, she st ret ched out her t rem ulous right hand, as t hough she was going t o t ouch m e; but she recalled it again before I underst ood t he act ion, or knew how t o receive it .

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“ You said, speaking for your friend, t hat you could t ell m e how t o do som et hing useful and good. Som et hing t hat you would like done, is it not ?” “ Som et hing t hat I would like done very m uch.” “ What is it ?” I began explaining t o her t hat secret hist ory of t he part nership. I had not got far int o it , when I j udged from her looks t hat she was t hinking in a discursive way of m e, rat her t han of what I said. I t seem ed t o be so, for, when I st opped speaking, m any m om ent s passed before she showed t hat she was conscious of t he fact . “ Do you break off,” she asked t hen, wit h her form er air of being afraid of m e, “ because you hat e m e t oo m uch t o bear t o speak t o m e?” “ No, no,” I answered, “ how can you t hink so, Miss Havisham ! I st opped because I t hought you were not following what I said.” “ Perhaps I was not ,” she answered, put t ing a hand t o her head. “ Begin again, and let m e look at som et hing else. St ay! Now t ell m e.” She set her hand upon her st ick, in t he resolut e way t hat som et im es was habit ual t o her, and looked at t he fire wit h a st rong expression of forcing herself t o at t end. I went on wit h m y explanat ion, and t old her how I had hoped t o com plet e t he t ransact ion out of m y m eans, but how in t his I was disappoint ed. That part of t he subj ect ( I rem inded her) involved m at t ers which could form no part of m y explanat ion, for t hey were t he weight y secret s of anot her. 557

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“ So! ” said she, assent ing wit h her head, but not looking at m e. “ And how m uch m oney is want ing t o com plet e t he purchase?” I was rat her afraid of st at ing it , for it sounded a large sum . “ Nine hundred pounds.” “ I f I give you t he m oney for t his purpose, will you keep m y secret as you have kept your own?” “ Quit e as fait hfully.” “ And your m ind will be m ore at rest ?” “ Much m ore at rest .” “ Are you very unhappy now?” She asked t his quest ion, st ill wit hout looking at m e, but in an unwont ed t one of sym pat hy. I could not reply at t he m om ent , for m y voice failed m e. She put her left arm across t he head of her st ick, and soft ly laid her forehead on it . “ I am far from happy, Miss Havisham ; but I have ot her causes of disquiet t han any you know of. They are t he secret s I have m ent ioned.” Aft er a lit t le while, she raised her head and looked at t he fire again. “ I t is noble in you t o t ell m e t hat you have ot her causes of unhappiness, I s it t rue?” “ Too t rue.” “ Can I only serve you, Pip, by serving your friend? Regarding t hat as done, is t here not hing I can do for you yourself?” “ Not hing. I t hank you for t he quest ion. I t hank you even m ore for t he t one of t he quest ion. But , t here is not hing.” 558

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She present ly rose from her seat , and looked about t he blight ed room for t he m eans of writ ing. There were non t here, and she t ook from her pocket a yellow set of ivory t ablet s, m ount ed in t arnished gold, and wrot e upon t hem wit h a pencil in a case of t arnished gold t hat hung from her neck. “ You are st ill on friendly t erm s wit h Mr. Jaggers?” “ Quit e. I dined wit h him yest erday.” “ This is an aut horit y t o him t o pay you t hat m oney, t o lay out at your irresponsible discret ion for your friend. I keep no m oney here; but if you would rat her Mr. Jaggers knew not hing of t he m at t er, I will send it t o you.” “ Thank you, Miss Havisham ; I have not t he least obj ect ion t o receiving it from him .” She read m e what she had writ t en, and it was direct and clear, and evident ly int ended t o absolve m e from any suspicion of profit ing by t he receipt of t he m oney. I t ook t he t ablet s from her hand, and it t rem bled again, and it t rem bled m ore as she t ook off t he chain t o which t he pencil was at t ached, and put it in m ine. All t his she did, wit hout looking at m e. “ My nam e is on t he first leaf. I f you can ever writ e under m y nam e, “ I forgive her,” t hough ever so long aft er m y broken heart is dust —pray do it ! ” “ O Miss Havisham ,” said I , “ I can do it now. There have been sore m ist akes; and m y life has been a blind and t hankless one; and I want forgiveness and direct ion far t oo m uch, t o be bit t er wit h you.” She t urned her face t o m e for t he first t im e since she had avert ed it , and, t o m y am azem ent , I m ay even add t o m y 559

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t error, dropped on her knees at m y feet ; wit h her folded hands raised t o m e in t he m anner in which, when her poor heart was young and fresh and whole, t hey m ust oft en have been raised t o heaven from her m ot her's side. To see her wit h her whit e hair and her worn face kneeling at m y feet , gave m e a shock t hrough all m y fram e. I ent reat ed her t o rise, and got m y arm s about her t o help her up; but she only pressed t hat hand of m ine which was nearest t o her grasp, and hung her head over it and wept . I had never seen her shed a t ear before, and, in t he hope t hat t he relief m ight do her good, I bent over her wit hout speaking. She was not kneeling now, but was down upon t he ground. “ O! ” she cried, despairingly. “ What have I done! What have I done! ” “ I f you m ean, Miss Havisham , what have you done t o inj ure m e, let m e answer. Very lit t le. I should have loved her under any circum st ances.—I s she m arried?” “ Yes.” I t was a needless quest ion, for a new desolat ion in t he desolat e house had t old m e so. “ What have I done! What have I done! ” She wrung her hands, and crushed her whit e hair, and ret urned t o t his cry over and over again. “ What have I done! ” I knew not how t o answer, or how t o com fort her. That she had done a grievous t hing in t aking an im pressionable child t o m ould int o t he form t hat her wild resent m ent , spurned affect ion, and wounded pride, found vengeance in, I knew full well. But t hat , in shut t ing out t he light of day, she had shut 560

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out infinit ely m ore; t hat , in seclusion, she had secluded herself from a t housand nat ural and healing influences; t hat , her m ind, brooding solit ary, had grown diseased, as all m inds do and m ust and will t hat reverse t he appoint ed order of t heir Maker; I knew equally well. And could I look upon her wit hout com passion, seeing her punishm ent in t he ruin she was, in her profound unfit ness for t his eart h on which she was placed, in t he vanit y of sorrow which had becom e a m ast er m ania, like t he vanit y of penit ence, t he vanit y of rem orse, t he vanit y of unwort hiness, and ot her m onst rous vanit ies t hat have been curses in t his world? “ Unt il you spoke t o her t he ot her day, and unt il I saw in you a looking- glass t hat showed m e what I once felt m yself, I did not know what I had done. What have I done! What have I done! ” And so again, t went y, fift y t im es over, What had she done! “ Miss Havisham ,” I said, when her cry had died away, “ you m ay dism iss m e from your m ind and conscience. But Est ella is a different case, and if you can ever undo any scrap of what you have done am iss in keeping a part of her right nat ure away from her, it will be bet t er t o do t hat , t han t o bem oan t he past t hrough a hundred years.” “ Yes, yes, I know it . But , Pip—m y Dear! ” There was an earnest wom anly com passion for m e in her new affect ion. “ My Dear! Believe t his: when she first cam e t o m e, I m eant t o save her from m isery like m y own. At first I m eant no m ore.” “ Well, well! ” said I . “ I hope so.” “ But as she grew, and prom ised t o be very beaut iful, I gradually did worse, and wit h m y praises, and wit h m y 561

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j ewels, and wit h m y t eachings, and wit h t his figure of m yself always before her a warning t o back and point m y lessons, I st ole her heart away and put ice in it s place.” “ Bet t er,” I could not help saying, “ t o have left her a nat ural heart , even t o be bruised or broken.” Wit h t hat , Miss Havisham looked dist ract edly at m e for a while, and t hen burst out again, What had she done! “ I f you knew all m y st ory,” she pleaded, “ you would have som e com passion for m e and a bet t er underst anding of m e.” “ Miss Havisham ,” I answered, as delicat ely as I could, “ I believe I m ay say t hat I do know your st ory, and have known it ever since I first left t his neighbourhood. I t has inspired m e wit h great com m iserat ion, and I hope I underst and it and it s influences. Does what has passed bet ween us give m e any excuse for asking you a quest ion relat ive t o Est ella? Not as she is, but as she was when she first cam e here?” She was seat ed on t he ground, wit h her arm s on t he ragged chair, and her head leaning on t hem . She looked full at m e when I said t his, and replied, “ Go on.” “ Whose child was Est ella?” She shook her head. “ You don't know?” She shook her head again. “ But Mr. Jaggers brought her here, or sent her here?” “ Brought her here.” “ Will you t ell m e how t hat cam e about ?” She answered in a low whisper and wit h caut ion: “ I had been shut up in t hese room s a long t im e ( I don't know how long; you know what t im e t he clocks keep here) , when I t old 562

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him t hat I want ed a lit t le girl t o rear and love, and save from m y fat e. I had first seen him when I sent for him t o lay t his place wast e for m e; having read of him in t he newspapers, before I and t he world part ed. He t old m e t hat he would look about him for such an orphan child. One night he brought her here asleep, and I called her Est ella.” “ Might I ask her age t hen?” “ Two or t hree. She herself knows not hing, but t hat she was left an orphan and I adopt ed her.” So convinced I was of t hat wom an's being her m ot her, t hat I want ed no evidence t o est ablish t he fact in m y own m ind. But , t o any m ind, I t hought , t he connect ion here was clear and st raight . What m ore could I hope t o do by prolonging t he int erview? I had succeeded on behalf of Herbert , Miss Havisham had t old m e all she knew of Est ella, I had said and done what I could t o ease her m ind. No m at t er wit h what ot her words we part ed; we part ed. Twilight was closing in when I went down st airs int o t he nat ural air. I called t o t he wom an who had opened t he gat e when I ent ered, t hat I would not t rouble her j ust yet , but would walk round t he place before leaving. For, I had a present im ent t hat I should never be t here again, and I felt t hat t he dying light was suit ed t o m y last view of it . By t he wilderness of casks t hat I had walked on long ago, and on which t he rain of years had fallen since, rot t ing t hem in m any places, and leaving m iniat ure swam ps and pools of wat er upon t hose t hat st ood on end, I m ade m y way t o t he ruined garden. I went all round it ; round by t he corner where 563

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Herbert and I had fought our bat t le; round by t he pat hs where Est ella and I had walked. So cold, so lonely, so dreary all! Taking t he brewery on m y way back, I raised t he rust y lat ch of a lit t le door at t he garden end of it , and walked t hrough. I was going out at t he opposit e door—not easy t o open now, for t he dam p wood had st art ed and swelled, and t he hinges were yielding, and t he t hreshold was encum bered wit h a growt h of fungus—when I t urned m y head t o look back. A childish associat ion revived wit h wonderful force in t he m om ent of t he slight act ion, and I fancied t hat I saw Miss Havisham hanging t o t he beam . So st rong was t he im pression, t hat I st ood under t he beam shuddering from head t o foot before I knew it was a fancy—t hough t o be sure I was t here in an inst ant . The m ournfulness of t he place and t im e, and t he great t error of t his illusion, t hough it was but m om ent ary, caused m e t o feel an indescribable awe as I cam e out bet ween t he open wooden gat es where I had once wrung m y hair aft er Est ella had wrung m y heart . Passing on int o t he front court yard, I hesit at ed whet her t o call t he wom an t o let m e out at t he locked gat e of which she had t he key, or first t o go upst airs and assure m yself t hat Miss Havisham was as safe and well as I had left her. I t ook t he lat t er course and went up. I looked int o t he room where I had left her, and I saw her seat ed in t he ragged chair upon t he heart h close t o t he fire, wit h her back t owards m e. I n t he m om ent when I was wit hdrawing m y head t o go quiet ly away, I saw a great flam ing light spring up. I n t he sam e m om ent , I saw her 564

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running at m e, shrieking, wit h a whirl of fire blazing all about her, and soaring at least as m any feet above her head as she was high. I had a double- caped great - coat on, and over m y arm anot her t hick coat . That I got t hem off, closed wit h her, t hrew her down, and got t hem over her; t hat I dragged t he great clot h from t he t able for t he sam e purpose, and wit h it dragged down t he heap of rot t enness in t he m idst , and all t he ugly t hings t hat shelt ered t here; t hat we were on t he ground st ruggling like desperat e enem ies, and t hat t he closer I covered her, t he m ore wildly she shrieked and t ried t o free herself; t hat t his occurred I knew t hrough t he result , but not t hrough anyt hing I felt , or t hought , or knew I did. I knew not hing unt il I knew t hat we were on t he floor by t he great t able, and t hat pat ches of t inder yet alight were float ing in t he sm oky air, which, a m om ent ago, had been her faded bridal dress. Then, I looked round and saw t he dist urbed beet les and spiders running away over t he floor, and t he servant s com ing in wit h breat hless cries at t he door. I st ill held her forcibly down wit h all m y st rengt h, like a prisoner who m ight escape; and I doubt if I even knew who she was, or why we had st ruggled, or t hat she had been in flam es, or t hat t he flam es were out , unt il I saw t he pat ches of t inder t hat had been her garm ent s, no longer alight but falling in a black shower around us. She was insensible, and I was afraid t o have her m oved, or even t ouched. Assist ance was sent for and I held her unt il it cam e, as if I unreasonably fancied ( I t hink I did) t hat if I let 565

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her go, t he fire would break out again and consum e her. When I got up, on t he surgeon's com ing t o her wit h ot her aid, I was ast onished t o see t hat bot h m y hands were burnt ; for, I had no knowledge of it t hrough t he sense of feeling. On exam inat ion it was pronounced t hat she had received serious hurt s, but t hat t hey of t hem selves were far from hopeless; t he danger lay m ainly in t he nervous shock. By t he surgeon's direct ions, her bed was carried int o t hat room and laid upon t he great t able: which happened t o be well suit ed t o t he dressing of her inj uries. When I saw her again, an hour aft erwards, she lay indeed where I had seen her st rike her st ick, and had heard her say t hat she would lie one day. Though every vest ige of her dress was burnt , as t hey t old m e, she st ill had som et hing of her old ghast ly bridal appearance; for, t hey had covered her t o t he t hroat wit h whit e cot t on- wool, and as she lay wit h a whit e sheet loosely overlying t hat , t he phant om air of som et hing t hat had been and was changed, was st ill upon her. I found, on quest ioning t he servant s, t hat Est ella was in Paris, and I got a prom ise from t he surgeon t hat he would writ e t o her by t he next post . Miss Havisham 's fam ily I t ook upon m yself; int ending t o com m unicat e wit h Mr. Mat t hew Pocket only, and leave him t o do as he liked about inform ing t he rest . This I did next day, t hrough Herbert , as soon as I ret urned t o t own. There was a st age, t hat evening, when she spoke collect edly of what had happened, t hough wit h a cert ain t errible vivacit y. Towards m idnight she began t o wander in her speech, and aft er t hat it gradually set in t hat she said 566

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innum erable t im es in a low solem n voice, “ What have I done! ” And t hen, “ When she first cam e, I m eant t o save her from m isery like m ine.” And t hen, “ Take t he pencil and writ e under m y nam e, ‘I forgive her! '” She never changed t he order of t hese t hree sent ences, but she som et im es left out a word in one or ot her of t hem ; never put t ing in anot her word, but always leaving a blank and going on t o t he next word. As I could do no service t here, and as I had, nearer hom e, t hat pressing reason for anxiet y and fear which even her wanderings could not drive out of m y m ind, I decided in t he course of t he night t hat I would ret urn by t he early m orning coach: walking on a m ile or so, and being t aken up clear of t he t own. At about six o'clock of t he m orning, t herefore, I leaned over her and t ouched her lips wit h m ine, j ust as t hey said, not st opping for being t ouched, “ Take t he pencil and writ e under m y nam e, ‘I forgive her.'”

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Chapt er 50 My hands had been dressed t wice or t hrice in t he night , and again in t he m orning. My left arm was a good deal burned t o t he elbow, and, less severely, as high as t he shoulder; it was very painful, but t he flam es had set in t hat direct ion, and I felt t hankful it was no worse. My right hand was not so badly burnt but t hat I could m ove t he fingers. I t was bandaged, of course, but m uch less inconvenient ly t han m y left hand and arm ; t hose I carried in a sling; and I could only wear m y coat like a cloak, loose over m y shoulders and fast ened at t he neck. My hair had been caught by t he fire, but not m y head or face. When Herbert had been down t o Ham m ersm it h and seen his fat her, he cam e back t o m e at our cham bers, and devot ed t he day t o at t ending on m e. He was t he kindest of nurses, and at st at ed t im es t ook off t he bandages, and st eeped t hem in t he cooling liquid t hat was kept ready, and put t hem on again, wit h a pat ient t enderness t hat I was deeply grat eful for. At first , as I lay quiet on t he sofa, I found it painfully difficult , I m ight say im possible, t o get rid of t he im pression of t he glare of t he flam es, t heir hurry and noise, and t he fierce burning sm ell. I f I dozed for a m inut e, I was awakened by Miss Havisham 's cries, and by her running at m e wit h all t hat height of fire above her head. This pain of t he m ind was m uch harder t o st rive against t han any bodily pain I suffered; 568

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and Herbert , seeing t hat , did his ut m ost t o hold m y at t ent ion engaged. Neit her of us spoke of t he boat , but we bot h t hought of it . That was m ade apparent by our avoidance of t he subj ect , and by our agreeing—wit hout agreem ent —t o m ake m y recovery of t he use of m y hands, a quest ion of so m any hours, not of so m any weeks. My first quest ion when I saw Herbert had been of course, whet her all was well down t he river? As he replied in t he affirm at ive, wit h perfect confidence and cheerfulness, we did not resum e t he subj ect unt il t he day was wearing away. But t hen, as Herbert changed t he bandages, m ore by t he light of t he fire t han by t he out er light , he went back t o it spont aneously. “ I sat wit h Provis last night , Handel, t wo good hours.” “ Where was Clara?” “ Dear lit t le t hing! ” said Herbert . “ She was up and down wit h Gruffandgrim all t he evening. He was perpet ually pegging at t he floor, t he m om ent she left his sight . I doubt if he can hold out long t hough. What wit h rum and pepper—and pepper and rum —I should t hink his pegging m ust be nearly over.” “ And t hen you will be m arried, Herbert ?” “ How can I t ake care of t he dear child ot herwise?—Lay your arm out upon t he back of t he sofa, m y dear boy, and I 'll sit down here, and get t he bandage off so gradually t hat you shall not know when it com es. I was speaking of Provis. Do you know, Handel, he im proves?” 569

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“ I said t o you I t hought he was soft ened when I last saw him .” “ So you did. And so he is. He was very com m unicat ive last night , and t old m e m ore of his life. You rem em ber his breaking off here about som e wom an t hat he had had great t rouble wit h.—Did I hurt you?” I had st art ed, but not under his t ouch. His words had given m e a st art . “ I had forgot t en t hat , Herbert , but I rem em ber it now you speak of it .” “ Well! He went int o t hat part of his life, and a dark wild part it is. Shall I t ell you? Or would it worry you j ust now?” “ Tell m e by all m eans. Every word.” Herbert bent forward t o look at m e m ore nearly, as if m y reply had been rat her m ore hurried or m ore eager t han he could quit e account for. “ Your head is cool?” he said, t ouching it . “ Quit e,” said I . “ Tell m e what Provis said, m y dear Herbert .” “ I t seem s,” said Herbert ," —t here's a bandage off m ost charm ingly, and now com es t he cool one—m akes you shrink at first , m y poor dear fellow, don't it ? but it will be com fort able present ly—it seem s t hat t he wom an was a young wom an, and a j ealous wom an, and a revengeful wom an; revengeful, Handel, t o t he last degree.” “ To what last degree?” “ Murder.—Does it st rike t oo cold on t hat sensit ive place?” “ I don't feel it . How did she m urder? Whom did she m urder?” “ Why, t he deed m ay not have m erit ed quit e so 570

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t errible a nam e,” said Herbert , “ but , she was t ried for it , and Mr. Jaggers defended her, and t he reput at ion of t hat defence first m ade his nam e known t o Provis. I t was anot her and a st ronger wom an who was t he vict im , and t here had been a st ruggle—in a barn. Who began it , or how fair it was, or how unfair, m ay be doubt ful; but how it ended, is cert ainly not doubt ful, for t he vict im was found t hrot t led.” “ Was t he wom an brought in guilt y?” “ No; she was acquit t ed.—My poor Handel, I hurt you! ” “ I t is im possible t o be gent ler, Herbert . Yes? What else?” “ This acquit t ed young wom an and Provis had a lit t le child: a lit t le child of whom Provis was exceedingly fond. On t he evening of t he very night when t he obj ect of her j ealousy was st rangled as I t ell you, t he young wom an present ed herself before Provis for one m om ent , and swore t hat she would dest roy t he child ( which was in her possession) , and he should never see it again; t hen, she vanished.—There's t he worst arm com fort ably in t he sling once m ore, and now t here rem ains but t he right hand, which is a far easier j ob. I can do it bet t er by t his light t han by a st ronger, for m y hand is st eadiest when I don't see t he poor blist ered pat ches t oo dist inct ly.—You don't t hink your breat hing is affect ed, m y dear boy? You seem t o breat he quickly.” “ Perhaps I do, Herbert . Did t he wom an keep her oat h?” “ There com es t he darkest part of Provis's life. She did.” “ That is, he says she did.” “ Why, of course, m y dear boy,” ret urned Herbert , in a t one of surprise, and again bending forward t o get a nearer look at m e. “ He says it all. I have no ot her inform at ion.” 571

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“ No, t o be sure.” “ Now, whet her,” pursued Herbert , “ he had used t he child's m ot her ill, or whet her he had used t he child's m ot her well, Provis doesn't say; but , she had shared som e four or five years of t he wret ched life he described t o us at t his fireside, and he seem s t o have felt pit y for her, and forbearance t owards her. Therefore, fearing he should be called upon t o depose about t his dest royed child, and so be t he cause of her deat h, he hid him self ( m uch as he grieved for t he child) , kept him self dark, as he says, out of t he way and out of t he t rial, and was only vaguely t alked of as a cert ain m an called Abel, out of whom t he j ealousy arose. Aft er t he acquit t al she disappeared, and t hus he lost t he child and t he child's m ot her.” “ I want t o ask—” “ A m om ent , m y dear boy, and I have done. That evil genius, Com peyson, t he worst of scoundrels am ong m any scoundrels, knowing of his keeping out of t he way at t hat t im e, and of his reasons for doing so, of course aft erwards held t he knowledge over his head as a m eans of keeping him poorer, and working him harder. I t was clear last night t hat t his barbed t he point of Provis's anim osit y.” “ I want t o know,” said I , “ and part icularly, Herbert , whet her he t old you when t his happened?” “ Part icularly? Let m e rem em ber, t hen, what he said as t o t hat . His expression was, ‘a round score o’ year ago, and a'm ost direct ly aft er I t ook up wi’ Com peyson.’ How old were you when you cam e upon him in t he lit t le churchyard?” “ I t hink in m y sevent h year.” 572

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“ Ay. I t had happened som e t hree or four years t hen, he said, and you brought int o his m ind t he lit t le girl so t ragically lost , who would have been about your age.” “ Herbert ,” said I , aft er a short silence, in a hurried way, “ can you see m e best by t he light of t he window, or t he light of t he fire?” “ By t he firelight ,” answered Herbert , com ing close again. “ Look at m e.” “ I do look at you, m y dear boy.” “ Touch m e.” “ I do t ouch you, m y dear boy.” “ You are not afraid t hat I am in any fever, or t hat m y head is m uch disordered by t he accident of last night ?” “ N- no, m y dear boy,” said Herbert , aft er t aking t im e t o exam ine m e. “ You are rat her excit ed, but you are quit e yourself.” “ I know I am quit e m yself. And t he m an we have in hiding down t he river, is Est ella's Fat her.”

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Chapt er 51 What purpose I had in view when I was hot on t racing out and proving Est ella's parent age, I cannot say. I t will present ly be seen t hat t he quest ion was not before m e in a dist inct shape, unt il it was put before m e by a wiser head t han m y own. But , when Herbert and I had held our m om ent ous conversat ion, I was seized wit h a feverish convict ion t hat I ought t o hunt t he m at t er down—t hat I ought not t o let it rest , but t hat I ought t o see Mr. Jaggers, and com e at t he bare t rut h. I really do not know whet her I felt t hat I did t his for Est ella's sake, or whet her I was glad t o t ransfer t o t he m an in whose preservat ion I was so m uch concerned, som e rays of t he rom ant ic int erest t hat had so long surrounded her. Perhaps t he lat t er possibilit y m ay be t he nearer t o t he t rut h. Any way, I could scarcely be wit hheld from going out t o Gerrard- st reet t hat night . Herbert 's represent at ions t hat if I did, I should probably be laid up and st ricken useless, when our fugit ive's safet y would depend upon m e, alone rest rained m y im pat ience. On t he underst anding, again and again reit erat ed, t hat com e what would, I was t o go t o Mr. Jaggers t o- m orrow, I at lengt h subm it t ed t o keep quiet , and t o have m y hurt s looked aft er, and t o st ay at hom e. Early next m orning we went out t oget her, and at t he corner of Gilt spurst reet by Sm it hfield, I left Herbert t o go his way int o t he Cit y, and t ook m y way t o Lit t le Brit ain. 574

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There were periodical occasions when Mr. Jaggers and Wem m ick went over t he office account s, and checked off t he vouchers, and put all t hings st raight . On t hese occasions Wem m ick t ook his books and papers int o Mr. Jaggers's room , and one of t he up- st airs clerks cam e down int o t he out er office. Finding such clerk on Wem m ick's post t hat m orning, I knew what was going on; but , I was not sorry t o have Mr. Jaggers and Wem m ick t oget her, as Wem m ick would t hen hear for him self t hat I said not hing t o com prom ise him . My appearance wit h m y arm bandaged and m y coat loose over m y shoulders, favoured m y obj ect . Alt hough I had sent Mr. Jaggers a brief account of t he accident as soon as I had arrived in t own, yet I had t o give him all t he det ails now; and t he specialit y of t he occasion caused our t alk t o be less dry and hard, and less st rict ly regulat ed by t he rules of evidence, t han it had been before. While I described t he disast er, Mr. Jaggers st ood, according t o his wont , before t he fire. Wem m ick leaned back in his chair, st aring at m e, wit h his hands in t he pocket s of his t rousers, and his pen put horizont ally int o t he post . The t wo brut al cast s, always inseparable in m y m ind from t he official proceedings, seem ed t o be congest ively considering whet her t hey didn't sm ell fire at t he present m om ent . My narrat ive finished, and t heir quest ions exhaust ed, I t hen produced Miss Havisham 's aut horit y t o receive t he nine hundred pounds for Herbert . Mr. Jaggers's eyes ret ired a lit t le deeper int o his head when I handed him t he t ablet s, but he present ly handed t hem over t o Wem m ick, wit h inst ruct ions t o draw t he cheque for his signat ure. While t hat was in course of 575

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being done, I looked on at Wem m ick as he wrot e, and Mr. Jaggers, poising and swaying him self on his well- polished boot s, looked on at m e. “ I am sorry, Pip,” said he, as I put t he cheque in m y pocket , when he had signed it , “ t hat we do not hing for you.” “ Miss Havisham was good enough t o ask m e,” I ret urned, “ whet her she could do not hing for m e, and I t old her No.” “ Everybody should know his own business,” said Mr. Jaggers. And I saw Wem m ick's lips form t he words “ port able propert y.” “ I should not have t old her No, if I had been you,” said Mr Jaggers; “ but every m an ought t o know his own business best .” “ Every m an's business,” said Wem m ick, rat her reproachfully t owards m e, “ is port able propert y.” As I t hought t he t im e was now com e for pursuing t he t hem e I had at heart , I said, t urning on Mr. Jaggers: “ I did ask som et hing of Miss Havisham , however, sir. I asked her t o give m e som e inform at ion relat ive t o her adopt ed daught er, and she gave m e all she possessed.” “ Did she?” said Mr. Jaggers, bending forward t o look at his boot s and t hen st raight ening him self. “ Hah! I don't t hink I should have done so, if I had been Miss Havisham . But she ought t o know her own business best .” “ I know m ore of t he hist ory of Miss Havisham 's adopt ed child, t han Miss Havisham herself does, sir. I know her m ot her.” Mr. Jaggers looked at m e inquiringly, and repeat ed “ Mot her?” 576

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“ I have seen her m ot her wit hin t hese t hree days.” “ Yes?” said Mr. Jaggers. “ And so have you, sir. And you have seen her st ill m ore recent ly.” “ Yes?” said Mr. Jaggers. “ Perhaps I know m ore of Est ella's hist ory t han even you do,” said I . “ I know her fat her t oo.” A cert ain st op t hat Mr. Jaggers cam e t o in his m anner—he was t oo self- possessed t o change his m anner, but he could not help it s being brought t o an indefinably at t ent ive st op— assured m e t hat he did not know who her fat her was. This I had st rongly suspect ed from Provis's account ( as Herbert had repeat ed it ) of his having kept him self dark; which I pieced on t o t he fact t hat he him self was not Mr. Jaggers's client unt il som e four years lat er, and when he could have no reason for claim ing his ident it y. But , I could not be sure of t his unconsciousness on Mr. Jaggers's part before, t hough I was quit e sure of it now. “ So! You know t he young lady's fat her, Pip?” said Mr. Jaggers. “ Yes,” I replied, “ and his nam e is Provis—from New Sout h Wales.” Even Mr. Jaggers st art ed when I said t hose words. I t was t he slight est st art t hat could escape a m an, t he m ost carefully repressed and t he soonest checked, but he did st art , t hough he m ade it a part of t he act ion of t aking out his pocket handkerchief. How Wem m ick received t he announcem ent I am unable t o say, for I was afraid t o look at him j ust t hen, 577

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lest Mr. Jaggers's sharpness should det ect t hat t here had been som e com m unicat ion unknown t o him bet ween us. “ And on what evidence, Pip,” asked Mr. Jaggers, very coolly, as he paused wit h his handkerchief half way t o his nose, “ does Provis m ake t his claim ?” “ He does not m ake it ,” said I , “ and has never m ade it , and has no knowledge or belief t hat his daught er is in exist ence.” For once, t he powerful pocket - handkerchief failed. My reply was so unexpect ed t hat Mr. Jaggers put t he handkerchief back int o his pocket wit hout com plet ing t he usual perform ance, folded his arm s, and looked wit h st ern at t ent ion at m e, t hough wit h an im m ovable face. Then I t old him all I knew, and how I knew it ; wit h t he one reservat ion t hat I left him t o infer t hat I knew from Miss Havisham what I in fact knew from Wem m ick. I was very careful indeed as t o t hat . Nor, did I look t owards Wem m ick unt il I had finished all I had t o t ell, and had been for som e t im e silent ly m eet ing Mr. Jaggers's look. When I did at last t urn m y eyes in Wem m ick's direct ion, I found t hat he had unpost ed his pen, and was int ent upon t he t able before him . “ Hah! ” said Mr. Jaggers at last , as he m oved t owards t he papers on t he t able," —What it em was it you were at , Wem m ick, when Mr. Pip cam e in?” But I could not subm it t o be t hrown off in t hat way, and I m ade a passionat e, alm ost an indignant , appeal t o him t o be m ore frank and m anly wit h m e. I rem inded him of t he false hopes int o which I had lapsed, t he lengt h of t im e t hey had last ed, and t he discovery I had m ade: and I hint ed at t he danger t hat weighed upon m y spirit s. I represent ed m yself as 578

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being surely wort hy of som e lit t le confidence from him , in ret urn for t he confidence I had j ust now im part ed. I said t hat I did not blam e him , or suspect him , or m ist rust him , but I want ed assurance of t he t rut h from him . And if he asked m e why I want ed it and why I t hought I had any right t o it , I would t ell him , lit t le as he cared for such poor dream s, t hat I had loved Est ella dearly and long, and t hat , alt hough I had lost her and m ust live a bereaved life, what ever concerned her was st ill nearer and dearer t o m e t han anyt hing else in t he world. And seeing t hat Mr. Jaggers st ood quit e st ill and silent , and apparent ly quit e obdurat e, under t his appeal, I t urned t o Wem m ick, and said, “ Wem m ick, I know you t o be a m an wit h a gent le heart . I have seen your pleasant hom e, and your old fat her, and all t he innocent cheerful playful ways wit h which you refresh your business life. And I ent reat you t o say a word for m e t o Mr. Jaggers, and t o represent t o him t hat , all circum st ances considered, he ought t o be m ore open wit h m e! ” I have never seen t wo m en look m ore oddly at one anot her t han Mr. Jaggers and Wem m ick did aft er t his apost rophe. At first , a m isgiving crossed m e t hat Wem m ick would be inst ant ly dism issed from his em ploym ent ; but , it m elt ed as I saw Mr. Jaggers relax int o som et hing like a sm ile, and Wem m ick becom e bolder. “ What 's all t his?” said Mr. Jaggers. “ You wit h an old fat her, and you wit h pleasant and playful ways?” “ Well! ” ret urned Wem m ick. “ I f I don't bring ‘em here, what does it m at t er?” 579

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“ Pip,” said Mr. Jaggers, laying his hand upon m y arm , and sm iling openly, “ t his m an m ust be t he m ost cunning im post or in all London.” “ Not a bit of it ,” ret urned Wem m ick, growing bolder and bolder. “ I t hink you're anot her.” Again t hey exchanged t heir form er odd looks, each apparent ly st ill dist rust ful t hat t he ot her was t aking him in. “ You wit h a pleasant hom e?” said Mr. Jaggers. “ Since it don't int erfere wit h business,” ret urned Wem m ick, “ let it be so. Now, I look at you, sir, I shouldn't wonder if you m ight be planning and cont riving t o have a pleasant hom e of your own, one of t hese days, when you're t ired of all t his work.” Mr. Jaggers nodded his head ret rospect ively t wo or t hree t im es, and act ually drew a sigh. “ Pip,” said he, “ we won't t alk about ‘poor dream s; ’ you know m ore about such t hings t han I , having m uch fresher experience of t hat kind. But now, about t his ot her m at t er. I 'll put a case t o you. Mind! I adm it not hing.” He wait ed for m e t o declare t hat I quit e underst ood t hat he expressly said t hat he adm it t ed not hing. “ Now, Pip,” said Mr. Jaggers, “ put t his case. Put t he case t hat a wom an, under such circum st ances as you have m ent ioned, held her child concealed, and was obliged t o com m unicat e t he fact t o her legal adviser, on his represent ing t o her t hat he m ust know, wit h an eye t o t he lat it ude of his defence, how t he fact st ood about t hat child. Put t he case t hat at t he sam e t im e he held a t rust t o find a child for an eccent ric rich lady t o adopt and bring up.” 580

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“ I follow you, sir.” “ Put t he case t hat he lived in an at m osphere of evil, and t hat all he saw of children, was, t heir being generat ed in great num bers for cert ain dest ruct ion. Put t he case t hat he oft en saw children solem nly t ried at a crim inal bar, where t hey were held up t o be seen; put t he case t hat he habit ually knew of t heir being im prisoned, whipped, t ransport ed, neglect ed, cast out , qualified in all ways for t he hangm an, and growing up t o be hanged. Put t he case t hat pret t y nigh all t he children he saw in his daily business life, he had reason t o look upon as so m uch spawn, t o develop int o t he fish t hat were t o com e t o his net —t o be prosecut ed, defended, forsworn, m ade orphans, bedevilled som ehow.” “ I follow you, sir.” “ Put t he case, Pip, t hat here was one pret t y lit t le child out of t he heap, who could be saved; whom t he fat her believed dead, and dared m ake no st ir about ; as t o whom , over t he m ot her, t he legal adviser had t his power: “ I know what you did, and how you did it . You cam e so and so, t his was your m anner of at t ack and t his t he m anner of resist ance, you went so and so, you did such and such t hings t o divert suspicion. I have t racked you t hrough it all, and I t ell it you all. Part wit h t he child, unless it should be necessary t o produce it t o clear you, and t hen it shall be produced. Give t he child int o m y hands, and I will do m y best t o bring you off. I f you are saved, your child is saved t oo; if you are lost , your child is st ill saved.” Put t he case t hat t his was done, and t hat t he wom an was cleared.” “ I underst and you perfect ly.” 581

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“ But t hat I m ake no adm issions?” “ That you m ake no adm issions.” And Wem m ick repeat ed, “ No adm issions.” “ Put t he case, Pip, t hat passion and t he t error of deat h had a lit t le shaken t he wom an's int ellect , and t hat when she was set at libert y, she was scared out of t he ways of t he world and went t o him t o be shelt ered. Put t he case t hat he t ook her in, and t hat he kept down t he old wild violent nat ure whenever he saw an inkling of it s breaking out , by assert ing his power over her in t he old way. Do you com prehend t he im aginary case?” “ Quit e.” “ Put t he case t hat t he child grew up, and was m arried for m oney. That t he m ot her was st ill living. That t he fat her was st ill living. That t he m ot her and fat her unknown t o one anot her, were dwelling wit hin so m any m iles, furlongs, yards if you like, of one anot her. That t he secret was st ill a secret , except t hat you had got wind of it . Put t hat last case t o yourself very carefully.” “ I do.” “ I ask Wem m ick t o put it t o him self very carefully.” And Wem m ick said, “ I do.” “ For whose sake would you reveal t he secret ? For t he fat her's? I t hink he would not be m uch t he bet t er for t he m ot her. For t he m ot her's? I t hink if she had done such a deed she would be safer where she was. For t he daught er's? I t hink it would hardly serve her, t o est ablish her parent age for t he inform at ion of her husband, and t o drag her back t o disgrace, aft er an escape of t went y years, pret t y secure t o last for life. 582

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But , add t he case t hat you had loved her, Pip, and had m ade her t he subj ect of t hose ‘poor dream s’ which have, at one t im e or anot her, been in t he heads of m ore m en t han you t hink likely, t hen I t ell you t hat you had bet t er—and would m uch sooner when you had t hought well of it —chop off t hat bandaged left hand of yours wit h your bandaged right hand, and t hen pass t he chopper on t o Wem m ick t here, t o cut t hat off, t oo.” I looked at Wem m ick, whose face was very grave. He gravely t ouched his lips wit h his forefinger. I did t he sam e. Mr. Jaggers did t he sam e. “ Now, Wem m ick,” said t he lat t er t hen, resum ing his usual m anner, “ what it em was it you were at , when Mr. Pip cam e in?” St anding by for a lit t le, while t hey were at work, I observed t hat t he odd looks t hey had cast at one anot her were repeat ed several t im es: wit h t his difference now, t hat each of t hem seem ed suspicious, not t o say conscious, of having shown him self in a weak and unprofessional light t o t he ot her. For t his reason, I suppose, t hey were now inflexible wit h one anot her; Mr. Jaggers being highly dict at orial, and Wem m ick obst inat ely j ust ifying him self whenever t here was t he sm allest point in abeyance for a m om ent . I had never seen t hem on such ill t erm s; for generally t hey got on very well indeed t oget her. But , t hey were bot h happily relieved by t he opport une appearance of Mike, t he client wit h t he fur cap and t he habit of wiping his nose on his sleeve, whom I had seen on t he very first day of m y appearance wit hin t hose walls. This individual, who, eit her in his own person or in t hat of som e m em ber of 583

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his fam ily, seem ed t o be always in t rouble ( which in t hat place m eant Newgat e) , called t o announce t hat his eldest daught er was t aken up on suspicion of shop- lift ing. As he im part ed t his m elancholy circum st ance t o Wem m ick, Mr. Jaggers st anding m agist erially before t he fire and t aking no share in t he proceedings, Mike's eye happened t o t winkle wit h a t ear. “ What are you about ?” dem anded Wem m ick, wit h t he ut m ost indignat ion. “ What do you com e snivelling here for?” “ I didn't go t o do it , Mr. Wem m ick.” “ You did,” said Wem m ick. “ How dare you? You're not in a fit st at e t o com e here, if you can't com e here wit hout splut t ering like a bad pen. What do you m ean by it ?” “ A m an can't help his feelings, Mr. Wem m ick,” pleaded Mike. “ His what ?” dem anded Wem m ick, quit e savagely. “ Say t hat again! ” “ Now, look here m y m an,” said Mr. Jaggers, advancing a st ep, and point ing t o t he door. “ Get out of t his office. I 'll have no feelings here. Get out .” “ I t serves you right ,” said Wem m ick, “ Get out .” So t he unfort unat e Mike very hum bly wit hdrew, and Mr. Jaggers and Wem m ick appeared t o have re- est ablished t heir good underst anding, and went t o work again wit h an air of refreshm ent upon t hem as if t hey had j ust had lunch.

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Chapt er 52 From Lit t le Brit ain, I went , wit h m y cheque in m y pocket , t o Miss Skiffins's brot her, t he account ant ; and Miss Skiffins's brot her, t he account ant , going st raight t o Clarriker's and bringing Clarriker t o m e, I had t he great sat isfact ion of concluding t hat arrangem ent . I t was t he only good t hing I had done, and t he only com plet ed t hing I had done, since I was first apprised of m y great expect at ions. Clarriker inform ing m e on t hat occasion t hat t he affairs of t he House were st eadily progressing, t hat he would now be able t o est ablish a sm all branch- house in t he East which was m uch want ed for t he ext ension of t he business, and t hat Herbert in his new part nership capacit y would go out and t ake charge of it , I found t hat I m ust have prepared for a separat ion from m y friend, even t hough m y own affairs had been m ore set t led. And now indeed I felt as if m y last anchor were loosening it s hold, and I should soon be driving wit h t he winds and waves. But , t here was recom pense in t he j oy wit h which Herbert would com e hom e of a night and t ell m e of t hese changes, lit t le im agining t hat he t old m e no news, and would sket ch airy pict ures of him self conduct ing Clara Barley t o t he land of t he Arabian Night s, and of m e going out t o j oin t hem ( wit h a caravan of cam els, I believe) , and of our all going up t he Nile and seeing wonders. Wit hout being sanguine as t o m y own part in t hese bright plans, I felt t hat Herbert 's way was clearing fast , and t hat old Bill Barley had but t o st ick t o his 585

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pepper and rum , and his daught er would soon be happily provided for. We had now got int o t he m ont h of March. My left arm , t hough it present ed no bad sym pt om s, t ook in t he nat ural course so long t o heal t hat I was st ill unable t o get a coat on. My right arm was t olerably rest ored; —disfigured, but fairly serviceable. On a Monday m orning, when Herbert and I were at breakfast , I received t he following let t er from Wem m ick by t he post . “ Walwort h. Burn t his as soon as read. Early in t he week, or say Wednesday, you m ight do what you know of, if you felt disposed t o t ry it . Now burn.” When I had shown t his t o Herbert and had put it in t he fire—but not before we had bot h got it by heart —we considered what t o do. For, of course m y being disabled could now be no longer kept out of view. “ I have t hought it over, again and again,” said Herbert , “ and I t hink I know a bet t er course t han t aking a Tham es wat erm an. Take St art op. A good fellow, a skilled hand, fond of us, and ent husiast ic and honourable.” I had t hought of him , m ore t han once. “ But how m uch would you t ell him , Herbert ?” “ I t is necessary t o t ell him very lit t le. Let him suppose it a m ere freak, but a secret one, unt il t he m orning com es: t hen let him know t hat t here is urgent reason for your get t ing Provis aboard and away. You go wit h him ?” “ No doubt .” “ Where?” 586

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I t had seem ed t o m e, in t he m any anxious considerat ions I had given t he point , alm ost indifferent what port we m ade for—Ham burg, Rot t erdam , Ant werp—t he place signified lit t le, so t hat he was got out of England. Any foreign st eam er t hat fell in our way and would t ake us up, would do. I had always proposed t o m yself t o get him well down t he river in t he boat ; cert ainly well beyond Gravesend, which was a crit ical place for search or inquiry if suspicion were afoot . As foreign st eam ers would leave London at about t he t im e of highwat er, our plan would be t o get down t he river by a previous ebb- t ide, and lie by in som e quiet spot unt il we could pull off t o one. The t im e when one would be due where we lay, wherever t hat m ight be, could be calculat ed pret t y nearly, if we m ade inquiries beforehand. Herbert assent ed t o all t his, and we went out im m ediat ely aft er breakfast t o pursue our invest igat ions. We found t hat a st eam er for Ham burg was likely t o suit our purpose best , and we direct ed our t hought s chiefly t o t hat vessel. But we not ed down what ot her foreign st eam ers would leave London wit h t he sam e t ide, and we sat isfied ourselves t hat we knew t he build and colour of each. We t hen separat ed for a few hours; I , t o get at once such passport s as were necessary; Herbert , t o see St art op at his lodgings. We bot h did what we had t o do wit hout any hindrance, and when we m et again at one o'clock report ed it done. I , for m y part , was prepared wit h passport s; Herbert had seen St art op, and he was m ore t han ready t o j oin. Those t wo should pull a pair of oars, we set t led, and I would st eer; our charge would be sit t er, and keep quiet ; as 587

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speed was not our obj ect , we should m ake way enough. We arranged t hat Herbert should not com e hom e t o dinner before going t o Mill Pond Bank t hat evening; t hat he should not go t here at all, t o- m orrow evening, Tuesday; t hat he should prepare Provis t o com e down t o som e St airs hard by t he house, on Wednesday, when he saw us approach, and not sooner; t hat all t he arrangem ent s wit h him should be concluded t hat Monday night ; and t hat he should be com m unicat ed wit h no m ore in any way, unt il we t ook him on board. These precaut ions well underst ood by bot h of us, I went hom e. On opening t he out er door of our cham bers wit h m y key, I found a let t er in t he box, direct ed t o m e; a very dirt y let t er, t hough not ill- writ t en. I t had been delivered by hand ( of course since I left hom e) , and it s cont ent s were t hese: “ I f you are not afraid t o com e t o t he old m arshes t o- night or t om orrow night at Nine, and t o com e t o t he lit t le sluicehouse by t he lim ekiln, you had bet t er com e. I f you want inform at ion regarding your uncle Provis, you had m uch bet t er com e and t ell no one and lose no t im e. You m ust com e alone. Bring t his wit h you.” I had had load enough upon m y m ind before t he receipt of t his st range let t er. What t o do now, I could not t ell. And t he worst was, t hat I m ust decide quickly, or I should m iss t he aft ernoon coach, which would t ake m e down in t im e for t onight . To- m orrow night I could not t hink of going, for it would be t oo close upon t he t im e of t he flight . And again, for 588

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anyt hing I knew, t he proffered inform at ion m ight have som e im port ant bearing on t he flight it self. I f I had had am ple t im e for considerat ion, I believe I should st ill have gone. Having hardly any t im e for considerat ion—m y wat ch showing m e t hat t he coach st art ed wit hin half an hour—I resolved t o go. I should cert ainly not have gone, but for t he reference t o m y Uncle Provis; t hat , com ing on Wem m ick's let t er and t he m orning's busy preparat ion, t urned t he scale. I t is so difficult t o becom e clearly possessed of t he cont ent s of alm ost any let t er, in a violent hurry, t hat I had t o read t his m yst erious epist le again, t wice, before it s inj unct ion t o m e t o be secret got m echanically int o m y m ind. Yielding t o it in t he sam e m echanical kind of way, I left a not e in pencil for Herbert , t elling him t hat as I should be so soon going away, I knew not for how long, I had decided t o hurry down and back, t o ascert ain for m yself how Miss Havisham was faring. I had t hen barely t im e t o get m y great - coat , lock up t he cham bers, and m ake for t he coach- office by t he short byways. I f I had t aken a hackney- chariot and gone by t he st reet s, I should have m issed m y aim ; going as I did, I caught t he coach j ust as it cam e out of t he yard. I was t he only inside passenger, j olt ing away knee- deep in st raw, when I cam e t o m yself. For, I really had not been m yself since t he receipt of t he let t er; it had so bewildered m e ensuing on t he hurry of t he m orning. The m orning hurry and flut t er had been great , for, long and anxiously as I had wait ed for Wem m ick, his hint had com e like a surprise at last . And now, I began t o wonder at 589

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m yself for being in t he coach, and t o doubt whet her I had sufficient reason for being t here, and t o consider whet her I should get out present ly and go back, and t o argue against ever heeding an anonym ous com m unicat ion, and, in short , t o pass t hrough all t hose phases of cont radict ion and indecision t o which I suppose very few hurried people are st rangers. St ill, t he reference t o Provis by nam e, m ast ered everyt hing. I reasoned as I had reasoned already wit hout knowing it —if t hat be reasoning—in case any harm should befall him t hrough m y not going, how could I ever forgive m yself! I t was dark before we got down, and t he j ourney seem ed long and dreary t o m e who could see lit t le of it inside, and who could not go out side in m y disabled st at e. Avoiding t he Blue Boar, I put up at an inn of m inor reput at ion down t he t own, and ordered som e dinner. While it was preparing, I went t o Sat is House and inquired for Miss Havisham ; she was st ill very ill, t hough considered som et hing bet t er. My inn had once been a part of an ancient ecclesiast ical house, and I dined in a lit t le oct agonal com m on- room , like a font . As I was not able t o cut m y dinner, t he old landlord wit h a shining bald head did it for m e. This bringing us int o conversat ion, he was so good as t o ent ert ain m e wit h m y own st ory—of course wit h t he popular feat ure t hat Pum blechook was m y earliest benefact or and t he founder of m y fort unes. “ Do you know t he young m an?” said I . “ Know him ! ” repeat ed t he landlord. “ Ever since he was—no height at all.” “ Does he ever com e back t o t his neighbourhood?” 590

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“ Ay, he com es back,” said t he landlord, “ t o his great friends, now and again, and gives t he cold shoulder t o t he m an t hat m ade him .” “ What m an is t hat ?” “ Him t hat I speak of,” said t he landlord. “ Mr. Pum blechook.” “ I s he ungrat eful t o no one else?” “ No doubt he would be, if he could,” ret urned t he landlord, “ but he can't . And why? Because Pum blechook done everyt hing for him .” “ Does Pum blechook say so?” “ Say so! ” replied t he landlord. “ He han't no call t o say so.” “ But does he say so?” “ I t would t urn a m an's blood t o whit e wine winegar t o hear him t ell of it , sir,” said t he landlord. I t hought , “ Yet Joe, dear Joe, you never t ell of it . Longsuffering and loving Joe, you never com plain. Nor you, sweet t em pered Biddy! ” “ Your appet it e's been t ouched like, by your accident ,” said t he landlord, glancing at t he bandaged arm under m y coat . “ Try a t enderer bit .” “ No t hank you,” I replied, t urning from t he t able t o brood over t he fire. “ I can eat no m ore. Please t ake it away.” I had never been st ruck at so keenly, for m y t hanklessness t o Joe, as t hrough t he brazen im post or Pum blechook. The falser he, t he t ruer Joe; t he m eaner he, t he nobler Joe. My heart was deeply and m ost deservedly hum bled as I m used over t he fire for an hour or m ore. The st riking of t he clock aroused m e, but not from m y dej ect ion or rem orse, and 591

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I got up and had m y coat fast ened round m y neck, and went out . I had previously sought in m y pocket s for t he let t er, t hat I m ight refer t o it again, but I could not find it , and was uneasy t o t hink t hat it m ust have been dropped in t he st raw of t he coach. I knew very well, however, t hat t he appoint ed place was t he lit t le sluice- house by t he lim ekiln on t he m arshes, and t he hour nine. Towards t he m arshes I now went st raight , having no t im e t o spare.

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Chapt er 53 I t was a dark night , t hough t he full m oon rose as I left t he enclosed lands, and passed out upon t he m arshes. Beyond t heir dark line t here was a ribbon of clear sky, hardly broad enough t o hold t he red large m oon. I n a few m inut es she had ascended out of t hat clear field, in am ong t he piled m ount ains of cloud. There was a m elancholy wind, and t he m arshes were very dism al. A st ranger would have found t hem insupport able, and even t o m e t hey were so oppressive t hat I hesit at ed, half inclined t o go back. But , I knew t hem well, and could have found m y way on a far darker night , and had no excuse for ret urning, being t here. So, having com e t here against m y inclinat ion, I went on against it . The direct ion t hat I t ook, was not t hat in which m y old hom e lay, nor t hat in which we had pursued t he convict s. My back was t urned t owards t he dist ant Hulks as I walked on, and, t hough I could see t he old light s away on t he spit s of sand, I saw t hem over m y shoulder. I knew t he lim ekiln as well as I knew t he old Bat t ery, but t hey were m iles apart ; so t hat if a light had been burning at each point t hat night , t here would have been a long st rip of t he blank horizon bet ween t he t wo bright specks. At first , I had t o shut som e gat es aft er m e, and now and t hen t o st and st ill while t he cat t le t hat were lying in t he banked- up pat hway, arose and blundered down am ong t he 593

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grass and reeds. But aft er a lit t le while, I seem ed t o have t he whole flat s t o m yself. I t was anot her half- hour before I drew near t o t he kiln. The lim e was burning wit h a sluggish st ifling sm ell, but t he fires were m ade up and left , and no workm en were visible. Hard by, was a sm all st one- quarry. I t lay direct ly in m y way, and had been worked t hat day, as I saw by t he t ools and barrows t hat were lying about . Com ing up again t o t he m arsh level out of t his excavat ion—for t he rude pat h lay t hrough it —I saw a light in t he old sluice- house. I quickened m y pace, and knocked at t he door wit h m y hand. Wait ing for som e reply, I looked about m e, not icing how t he sluice was abandoned and broken, and how t he house—of wood wit h a t iled roof—would not be proof against t he weat her m uch longer, if it were so even now, and how t he m ud and ooze were coat ed wit h lim e, and how t he choking vapour of t he kiln crept in a ghost ly way t owards m e. St ill t here was no answer, and I knocked again. No answer st ill, and I t ried t he lat ch. I t rose under m y hand, and t he door yielded. Looking in, I saw a light ed candle on a t able, a bench, and a m at t ress on a t ruckle bedst ead. As t here was a loft above, I called, “ I s t here any one here?” but no voice answered. Then, I looked at m y wat ch, and, finding t hat it was past nine, called again, “ I s t here any one here?” There being st ill no answer, I went out at t he door, irresolut e what t o do. I t was beginning t o rain fast . Seeing not hing save what I had seen already, I t urned back int o t he house, and st ood j ust wit hin t he shelt er of t he doorway, looking out int o t he 594

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night . While I was considering t hat som e one m ust have been t here lat ely and m ust soon be com ing back, or t he candle would not be burning, it cam e int o m y head t o look if t he wick were long. I t urned round t o do so, and had t aken up t he candle in m y hand, when it was ext inguished by som e violent shock, and t he next t hing I com prehended, was, t hat I had been caught in a st rong running noose, t hrown over m y head from behind. “ Now,” said a suppressed voice wit h an oat h, “ I 've got you! ” “ What is t his?” I cried, st ruggling. “ Who is it ? Help, help, help! ” Not only were m y arm s pulled close t o m y sides, but t he pressure on m y bad arm caused m e exquisit e pain. Som et im es, a st rong m an's hand, som et im es a st rong m an's breast , was set against m y m out h t o deaden m y cries, and wit h a hot breat h always close t o m e, I st ruggled ineffect ually in t he dark, while I was fast ened t ight t o t he wall. “ And now,” said t he suppressed voice wit h anot her oat h, “ call out again, and I 'll m ake short work of you! ” Faint and sick wit h t he pain of m y inj ured arm , bewildered by t he surprise, and yet conscious how easily t his t hreat could be put in execut ion, I desist ed, and t ried t o ease m y arm were it ever so lit t le. But , it was bound t oo t ight for t hat . I felt as if, having been burnt before, it were now being boiled. The sudden exclusion of t he night and t he subst it ut ion of black darkness in it s place, warned m e t hat t he m an had closed a shut t er. Aft er groping about for a lit t le, he found t he flint and st eel he want ed, and began t o st rike a light . I 595

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st rained m y sight upon t he sparks t hat fell am ong t he t inder, and upon which he breat hed and breat hed, m at ch in hand, but I could only see his lips, and t he blue point of t he m at ch; even t hose, but fit fully. The t inder was dam p—no wonder t here—and one aft er anot her t he sparks died out . The m an was in no hurry, and st ruck again wit h t he flint and st eel. As t he sparks fell t hick and bright about him , I could see his hands, and t ouches of his face, and could m ake out t hat he was seat ed and bending over t he t able; but not hing m ore. Present ly I saw his blue lips again, breat hing on t he t inder, and t hen a flare of light flashed up, and showed m e Orlick. Whom I had looked for, I don't know. I had not looked for him . Seeing him , I felt t hat I was in a dangerous st rait indeed, and I kept m y eyes upon him . He light ed t he candle from t he flaring m at ch wit h great deliberat ion, and dropped t he m at ch, and t rod it out . Then, he put t he candle away from him on t he t able, so t hat he could see m e, and sat wit h his arm s folded on t he t able and looked at m e. I m ade out t hat I was fast ened t o a st out perpendicular ladder a few inches from t he wall—a fixt ure t here—t he m eans of ascent t o t he loft above. “ Now,” said he, when we had surveyed one anot her for som e t im e, “ I 've got you.” “ Unbind m e. Let m e go! ” “ Ah! ” he ret urned, “ I 'll let you go. I 'll let you go t o t he m oon, I 'll let you go t o t he st ars. All in good t im e.” “ Why have you lured m e here?” “ Don't you know?” said he, wit h a deadly look 596

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“ Why have you set upon m e in t he dark?” “ Because I m ean t o do it all m yself. One keeps a secret bet t er t han t wo. Oh you enem y, you enem y! ” His enj oym ent of t he spect acle I furnished, as he sat wit h his arm s folded on t he t able, shaking his head at m e and hugging him self, had a m alignit y in it t hat m ade m e t rem ble. As I wat ched him in silence, he put his hand int o t he corner at his side, and t ook up a gun wit h a brass- bound st ock. “ Do you know t his?” said he, m aking as if he would t ake aim at m e. “ Do you know where you saw it afore? Speak, wolf! ” “ Yes,” I answered. “ You cost m e t hat place. You did. Speak! ” “ What else could I do?” “ You did t hat , and t hat would be enough, wit hout m ore. How dared you t o com e bet wixt m e and a young wom an I liked?” “ When did I ?” “ When didn't you? I t was you as always give Old Orlick a bad nam e t o her.” “ You gave it t o yourself; you gained it for yourself. I could have done you no harm , if you had done yourself none.” “ You're a liar. And you'll t ake any pains, and spend any m oney, t o drive m e out of t his count ry, will you?” said he, repeat ing m y words t o Biddy in t he last int erview I had wit h her. “ Now, I 'll t ell you a piece of inform at ion. I t was never so well wort h your while t o get m e out of t his count ry as it is t onight . Ah! I f it was all your m oney t went y t im es t old, t o t he 597

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last brass farden! ” As he shook his heavy hand at m e, wit h his m out h snarling like a t iger's, I felt t hat it was t rue. “ What are you going t o do t o m e?” “ I 'm a- going,” said he, bringing his fist down upon t he t able wit h a heavy blow, and rising as t he blow fell, t o give it great er force, “ I 'm a- going t o have your life! ” He leaned forward st aring at m e, slowly unclenched his hand and drew it across his m out h as if his m out h wat ered for m e, and sat down again. “ You was always in Old Orlick's way since ever you was a child. You goes out of his way, t his present night . He'll have no m ore on you. You're dead.” I felt t hat I had com e t o t he brink of m y grave. For a m om ent I looked wildly round m y t rap for any chance of escape; but t here was none. “ More t han t hat ,” said he, folding his arm s on t he t able again, “ I won't have a rag of you, I won't have a bone of you, left on eart h. I 'll put your body in t he kiln—I 'd carry t wo such t o it , on m y shoulders—and, let people suppose what t hey m ay of you, t hey shall never know not hing.” My m ind, wit h inconceivable rapidit y, followed out all t he consequences of such a deat h. Est ella's fat her would believe I had desert ed him , would be t aken, would die accusing m e; even Herbert would doubt m e, when he com pared t he let t er I had left for him , wit h t he fact t hat I had called at Miss Havisham 's gat e for only a m om ent ; Joe and Biddy would never know how sorry I had been t hat night ; none would ever know what I had suffered, how t rue I had m eant t o be, what an agony I had passed t hrough. The deat h close before m e 598

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was t errible, but far m ore t errible t han deat h was t he dread of being m isrem em bered aft er deat h. And so quick were m y t hought s, t hat I saw m yself despised by unborn generat ions— Est ella's children, and t heir children—while t he wret ch's words were yet on his lips. “ Now, wolf,” said he, “ afore I kill you like any ot her beast —which is wot I m ean t o do and wot I have t ied you up for—I 'll have a good look at you and a good goad at you. Oh, you enem y! ” I t had passed t hrough m y t hought s t o cry out for help again; t hough few could know bet t er t han I , t he solit ary nat ure of t he spot , and t he hopelessness of aid. But as he sat gloat ing over m e, I was support ed by a scornful det est at ion of him t hat sealed m y lips. Above all t hings, I resolved t hat I would not ent reat him , and t hat I would die m aking som e last poor resist ance t o him . Soft ened as m y t hought s of all t he rest of m en were in t hat dire ext rem it y; hum bly beseeching pardon, as I did, of Heaven; m elt ed at heart , as I was, by t he t hought t hat I had t aken no farewell, and never never now could t ake farewell, of t hose who were dear t o m e, or could explain m yself t o t hem , or ask for t heir com passion on m y m iserable errors; st ill, if I could have killed him , even in dying, I would have done it . He had been drinking, and his eyes were red and bloodshot . Around his neck was slung a t in bot t le, as I had oft en seen his m eat and drink slung about him in ot her days. He brought t he bot t le t o his lips, and t ook a fiery drink from it ; and I sm elt t he st rong spirit s t hat I saw flash int o his face. 599

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“ Wolf! ” said he, folding his arm s again, “ Old Orlick's agoing t o t ell you som et hink. I t was you as did for your shrew sist er.” Again m y m ind, wit h it s form er inconceivable rapidit y, had exhaust ed t he whole subj ect of t he at t ack upon m y sist er, her illness, and her deat h, before his slow and hesit at ing speech had form ed t hese words. “ I t was you, villain,” said I . “ I t ell you it was your doing—I t ell you it was done t hrough you,” he ret ort ed, cat ching up t he gun, and m aking a blow wit h t he st ock at t he vacant air bet ween us. “ I com e upon her from behind, as I com e upon you t o- night . I giv’ it her! I left her for dead, and if t here had been a lim ekiln as nigh her as t here is now nigh you, she shouldn't have com e t o life again. But it warn't Old Orlick as did it ; it was you. You was favoured, and he was bullied and beat . Old Orlick bullied and beat , eh? Now you pays for it . You done it ; now you pays for it .” He drank again, and becam e m ore ferocious. I saw by his t ilt ing of t he bot t le t hat t here was no great quant it y left in it . I dist inct ly underst ood t hat he was working him self up wit h it s cont ent s, t o m ake an end of m e. I knew t hat every drop it held, was a drop of m y life. I knew t hat when I was changed int o a part of t he vapour t hat had crept t owards m e but a lit t le while before, like m y own warning ghost , he would do as he had done in m y sist er's case—m ake all hast e t o t he t own, and be seen slouching about t here, drinking at t he alehouses. My rapid m ind pursued him t o t he t own, m ade a pict ure of t he st reet wit h him in it , and cont rast ed it s light s 600

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and life wit h t he lonely m arsh and t he whit e vapour creeping over it , int o which I should have dissolved. I t was not only t hat I could have sum m ed up years and years and years while he said a dozen words, but t hat what he did say present ed pict ures t o m e, and not m ere words. I n t he excit ed and exalt ed st at e of m y brain, I could not t hink of a place wit hout seeing it , or of persons wit hout seeing t hem . I t is im possible t o over- st at e t he vividness of t hese im ages, and yet I was so int ent , all t he t im e, upon him him self—who would not be int ent on t he t iger crouching t o spring! —t hat I knew of t he slight est act ion of his fingers. When he had drunk t his second t im e, he rose from t he bench on which he sat , and pushed t he t able aside. Then, he t ook up t he candle, and shading it wit h his m urderous hand so as t o t hrow it s light on m e, st ood before m e, looking at m e and enj oying t he sight . “ Wolf, I 'll t ell you som et hing m ore. I t was Old Orlick as you t um bled over on your st airs t hat night .” I saw t he st aircase wit h it s ext inguished lam ps. I saw t he shadows of t he heavy st air- rails, t hrown by t he wat chm an's lant ern on t he wall. I saw t he room s t hat I was never t o see again; here, a door half open; t here, a door closed; all t he art icles of furnit ure around. “ And why was Old Orlick t here? I 'll t ell you som et hing m ore, wolf. You and her have pret t y well hunt ed m e out of t his count ry, so far as get t ing a easy living in it goes, and I 've t ook up wit h new com panions, and new m ast ers. Som e of ‘em writ es m y let t ers when I want s ‘em wrot e—do you m ind?— writ es m y let t ers, wolf! They writ es fift y hands; t hey're not 601

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like sneaking you, as writ es but one. I 've had a firm m ind and a firm will t o have your life, since you was down here at your sist er's burying. I han't seen a way t o get you safe, and I 've looked art er you t o know your ins and out s. For, says Old Orlick t o him self, ‘Som ehow or anot her I 'll have him ! ’ What ! When I looks for you, I finds your uncle Provis, eh?” Mill Pond Bank, and Chinks's Basin, and t he Old Green Copper Rope- Walk, all so clear and plain! Provis in his room s, t he signal whose use was over, pret t y Clara, t he good m ot herly wom an, old Bill Barley on his back, all drift ing by, as on t he swift st ream of m y life fast running out t o sea! “ You wit h a uncle t oo! Why, I know'd you at Gargery's when you was so sm all a wolf t hat I could have t ook your weazen bet wixt t his finger and t hum b and chucked you away dead ( as I 'd t hought s o’ doing, odd t im es, when I see you loit ering am ongst t he pollards on a Sunday) , and you hadn't found no uncles t hen. No, not you! But when Old Orlick com e for t o hear t hat your uncle Provis had m ost like wore t he legiron wot Old Orlick had picked up, filed asunder, on t hese m eshes ever so m any year ago, and wot he kep by him t ill he dropped your sist er wit h it , like a bullock, as he m eans t o drop you—hey?—when he com e for t o hear t hat —hey?—” I n his savage t aunt ing, he flared t he candle so close at m e, t hat I t urned m y face aside, t o save it from t he flam e. “ Ah! ” he cried, laughing, aft er doing it again, “ t he burnt child dreads t he fire! Old Orlick knowed you was burnt , Old Orlick knowed you was sm uggling your uncle Provis away, Old Orlick's a m at ch for you and know'd you'd com e t o- night ! Now I 'll t ell you som et hing m ore, wolf, and t his ends it . 602

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There's t hem t hat 's as good a m at ch for your uncle Provis as Old Orlick has been for you. Let him ‘ware t hem , when he's lost his nevvy! Let him ‘ware t hem , when no m an can't find a rag of his dear relat ion's clot hes, nor yet a bone of his body. There's t hem t hat can't and t hat won't have Magwit ch—yes, I know t he nam e! —alive in t he sam e land wit h t hem , and t hat 's had such sure inform at ion of him when he was alive in anot her land, as t hat he couldn't and shouldn't leave it unbeknown and put t hem in danger. P'raps it 's t hem t hat writ es fift y hands, and t hat 's not like sneaking you as writ es but one. ‘Ware Com peyson, Magwit ch, and t he gallows! ” He flared t he candle at m e again, sm oking m y face and hair, and for an inst ant blinding m e, and t urned his powerful back as he replaced t he light on t he t able. I had t hought a prayer, and had been wit h Joe and Biddy and Herbert , before he t urned t owards m e again. There was a clear space of a few feet bet ween t he t able and t he opposit e wall. Wit hin t his space, he now slouched backwards and forwards. His great st rengt h seem ed t o sit st ronger upon him t han ever before, as he did t his wit h his hands hanging loose and heavy at his sides, and wit h his eyes scowling at m e. I had no grain of hope left . Wild as m y inward hurry was, and wonderful t he force of t he pict ures t hat rushed by m e inst ead of t hought s, I could yet clearly underst and t hat unless he had resolved t hat I was wit hin a few m om ent s of surely perishing out of all hum an knowledge, he would never have t old m e what he had t old. Of a sudden, he st opped, t ook t he cork out of his bot t le, and t ossed it away. Light as it was, I heard it fall like a 603

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plum m et . He swallowed slowly, t ilt ing up t he bot t le by lit t le and lit t le, and now he looked at m e no m ore. The last few drops of liquor he poured int o t he palm of his hand, and licked up. Then, wit h a sudden hurry of violence and swearing horribly, he t hrew t he bot t le from him , and st ooped; and I saw in his hand a st one- ham m er wit h a long heavy handle. The resolut ion I had m ade did not desert m e, for, wit hout ut t ering one vain word of appeal t o him , I shout ed out wit h all m y m ight , and st ruggled wit h all m y m ight . I t was only m y head and m y legs t hat I could m ove, but t o t hat ext ent I st ruggled wit h all t he force, unt il t hen unknown, t hat was wit hin m e. I n t he sam e inst ant I heard responsive shout s, saw figures and a gleam of light dash in at t he door, heard voices and t um ult , and saw Orlick em erge from a st ruggle of m en, as if it were t um bling wat er, clear t he t able at a leap, and fly out int o t he night . Aft er a blank, I found t hat I was lying unbound, on t he floor, in t he sam e place, wit h m y head on som e one's knee. My eyes were fixed on t he ladder against t he wall, when I cam e t o m yself—had opened on it before m y m ind saw it — and t hus as I recovered consciousness, I knew t hat I was in t he place where I had lost it . Too indifferent at first , even t o look round and ascert ain who support ed m e, I was lying looking at t he ladder, when t here cam e bet ween m e and it , a face. The face of Trabb's boy! “ I t hink he's all right ! ” said Trabb's boy, in a sober voice; “ but ain't he j ust pale t hough! ” 604

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At t hese words, t he face of him who support ed m e looked over int o m ine, and I saw m y support er t o be— “ Herbert ! Great Heaven! ” “ Soft ly,” said Herbert . “ Gent ly, Handel. Don't be t oo eager.” “ And our old com rade, St art op! ” I cried, as he t oo bent over m e. “ Rem em ber what he is going t o assist us in,” said Herbert , “ and be calm .” The allusion m ade m e spring up; t hough I dropped again from t he pain in m y arm . “ The t im e has not gone by, Herbert , has it ? What night is t o- night ? How long have I been here?” For, I had a st range and st rong m isgiving t hat I had been lying t here a long t im e—a day and a night —t wo days and night s—m ore. “ The t im e has not gone by. I t is st ill Monday night .” “ Thank God! ” “ And you have all t o- m orrow, Tuesday, t o rest in,” said Herbert . “ But you can't help groaning, m y dear Handel. What hurt have you got ? Can you st and?” “ Yes, yes,” said I , “ I can walk. I have no hurt but in t his t hrobbing arm .” They laid it bare, and did what t hey could. I t was violent ly swollen and inflam ed, and I could scarcely endure t o have it t ouched. But , t hey t ore up t heir handkerchiefs t o m ake fresh bandages, and carefully replaced it in t he sling, unt il we could get t o t he t own and obt ain som e cooling lot ion t o put upon it . I n a lit t le while we had shut t he door of t he dark and em pt y sluice- house, and were passing t hrough t he quarry on our 605

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way back. Trabb's boy—Trabb's overgrown young m an now— went before us wit h a lant ern, which was t he light I had seen com e in at t he door. But , t he m oon was a good t wo hours higher t han when I had last seen t he sky, and t he night t hough rainy was m uch light er. The whit e vapour of t he kiln was passing from us as we went by, and, as I had t hought a prayer before, I t hought a t hanksgiving now. Ent reat ing Herbert t o t ell m e how he had com e t o m y rescue—which at first he had flat ly refused t o do, but had insist ed on m y rem aining quiet —I learnt t hat I had in m y hurry dropped t he let t er, open, in our cham bers, where he, com ing hom e t o bring wit h him St art op whom he had m et in t he st reet on his way t o m e, found it , very soon aft er I was gone. I t s t one m ade him uneasy, and t he m ore so because of t he inconsist ency bet ween it and t he hast y let t er I had left for him . His uneasiness increasing inst ead of subsiding aft er a quart er of an hour's considerat ion, he set off for t he coachoffice, wit h St art op, who volunt eered his com pany, t o m ake inquiry when t he next coach went down. Finding t hat t he aft ernoon coach was gone, and finding t hat his uneasiness grew int o posit ive alarm , as obst acles cam e in his way, he resolved t o follow in a post - chaise. So, he and St art op arrived at t he Blue Boar, fully expect ing t here t o find m e, or t idings of m e; but , finding neit her, went on t o Miss Havisham 's, where t hey lost m e. Hereupon t hey went back t o t he hot el ( doubt less at about t he t im e when I was hearing t he popular local version of m y own st ory) , t o refresh t hem selves and t o get som e one t o guide t hem out upon t he m arshes. Am ong t he loungers under t he Boar's archway, happened t o be 606

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Trabb's boy—t rue t o his ancient habit of happening t o be everywhere where he had no business—and Trabb's boy had seen m e passing from Miss Havisham 's in t he direct ion of m y dining- place. Thus, Trabb's boy becam e t heir guide, and wit h him t hey went out t o t he sluice- house: t hough by t he t own way t o t he m arshes, which I had avoided. Now, as t hey went along, Herbert reflect ed, t hat I m ight , aft er all, have been brought t here on som e genuine and serviceable errand t ending t o Provis's safet y, and, bet hinking him self t hat in t hat case int errupt ion m ust be m ischievous, left his guide and St art op on t he edge of t he quarry, and went on by him self, and st ole round t he house t wo or t hree t im es, endeavouring t o ascert ain whet her all was right wit hin. As he could hear not hing but indist inct sounds of one deep rough voice ( t his was while m y m ind was so busy) , he even at last began t o doubt whet her I was t here, when suddenly I cried out loudly, and he answered t he cries, and rushed in, closely followed by t he ot her t wo. When I t old Herbert what had passed wit hin t he house, he was for our im m ediat ely going before a m agist rat e in t he t own, lat e at night as it was, and get t ing out a warrant . But , I had already considered t hat such a course, by det aining us t here, or binding us t o com e back, m ight be fat al t o Provis. There was no gainsaying t his difficult y, and we relinquished all t hought s of pursuing Orlick at t hat t im e. For t he present , under t he circum st ances, we deem ed it prudent t o m ake rat her light of t he m at t er t o Trabb's boy; who I am convinced would have been m uch affect ed by disappoint m ent , if he had known t hat his int ervent ion saved m e from t he lim ekiln. Not 607

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t hat Trabb's boy was of a m alignant nat ure, but t hat he had t oo m uch spare vivacit y, and t hat it was in his const it ut ion t o want variet y and excit em ent at anybody's expense. When we part ed, I present ed him wit h t wo guineas ( which seem ed t o m eet his views) , and t old him t hat I was sorry ever t o have had an ill opinion of him ( which m ade no im pression on him at all) . Wednesday being so close upon us, we det erm ined t o go back t o London t hat night , t hree in t he post - chaise; t he rat her, as we should t hen be clear away, before t he night 's advent ure began t o be t alked of. Herbert got a large bot t le of st uff for m y arm , and by dint of having t his st uff dropped over it all t he night t hrough, I was j ust able t o bear it s pain on t he j ourney. I t was daylight when we reached t he Tem ple, and I went at once t o bed, and lay in bed all day. My t error, as I lay t here, of falling ill and being unfit t ed for t om orrow, was so beset t ing, t hat I wonder it did not disable m e of it self. I t would have done so, pret t y surely, in conj unct ion wit h t he m ent al wear and t ear I had suffered, but for t he unnat ural st rain upon m e t hat t o- m orrow was. So anxiously looked forward t o, charged wit h such consequences, it s result s so im penet rably hidden t hough so near. No precaut ion could have been m ore obvious t han our refraining from com m unicat ion wit h him t hat day; yet t his again increased m y rest lessness. I st art ed at every foot st ep and every sound, believing t hat he was discovered and t aken, and t his was t he m essenger t o t ell m e so. I persuaded m yself t hat I knew he was t aken; t hat t here was som et hing m ore 608

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upon m y m ind t han a fear or a present im ent ; t hat t he fact had occurred, and I had a m yst erious knowledge of it . As t he day wore on and no ill news cam e, as t he day closed in and darkness fell, m y overshadowing dread of being disabled by illness before t o- m orrow m orning, alt oget her m ast ered m e. My burning arm t hrobbed, and m y burning head t hrobbed, and I fancied I was beginning t o wander. I count ed up t o high num bers, t o m ake sure of m yself, and repeat ed passages t hat I knew in prose and verse. I t happened som et im es t hat in t he m ere escape of a fat igued m ind, I dozed for som e m om ent s or forgot ; t hen I would say t o m yself wit h a st art , “ Now it has com e, and I am t urning delirious! ” They kept m e very quiet all day, and kept m y arm const ant ly dressed, and gave m e cooling drinks. Whenever I fell asleep, I awoke wit h t he not ion I had had in t he sluicehouse, t hat a long t im e had elapsed and t he opport unit y t o save him was gone. About m idnight I got out of bed and went t o Herbert , wit h t he convict ion t hat I had been asleep for four- and- t went y hours, and t hat Wednesday was past . I t was t he last self- exhaust ing effort of m y fret fulness, for, aft er t hat , I slept soundly. Wednesday m orning was dawning when I looked out of window. The winking light s upon t he bridges were already pale, t he com ing sun was like a m arsh of fire on t he horizon. The river, st ill dark and m yst erious, was spanned by bridges t hat were t urning coldly grey, wit h here and t here at t op a warm t ouch from t he burning in t he sky. As I looked along t he clust ered roofs, wit h Church t owers and spires shoot ing int o t he unusually clear air, t he sun rose up, and a veil 609

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seem ed t o be drawn from t he river, and m illions of sparkles burst out upon it s wat ers. From m e t oo, a veil seem ed t o be drawn, and I felt st rong and well. Herbert lay asleep in his bed, and our old fellow- st udent lay asleep on t he sofa. I could not dress m yself wit hout help, but I m ade up t he fire, which was st ill burning, and got som e coffee ready for t hem . I n good t im e t hey t oo st art ed up st rong and well, and we adm it t ed t he sharp m orning air at t he windows, and looked at t he t ide t hat was st ill flowing t owards us. “ When it t urns at nine o'clock,” said Herbert , cheerfully, “ look out for us, and st and ready, you over t here at Mill Pond Bank! ”

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Chapt er 54 I t was one of t hose March days when t he sun shines hot and t he wind blows cold: when it is sum m er in t he light , and wint er in t he shade. We had out pea- coat s wit h us, and I t ook a bag. Of all m y worldly possessions I t ook no m ore t han t he few necessaries t hat filled t he bag. Where I m ight go, what I m ight do, or when I m ight ret urn, were quest ions ut t erly unknown t o m e; nor did I vex m y m ind wit h t hem , for it was wholly set on Provis's safet y. I only wondered for t he passing m om ent , as I st opped at t he door and looked back, under what alt ered circum st ances I should next see t hose room s, if ever. We loit ered down t o t he Tem ple st airs, and st ood loit ering t here, as if we were not quit e decided t o go upon t he wat er at all. Of course I had t aken care t hat t he boat should be ready and everyt hing in order. Aft er a lit t le show of indecision, which t here were none t o see but t he t wo or t hree am phibious creat ures belonging t o our Tem ple st airs, we went on board and cast off; Herbert in t he bow, I st eering. I t was t hen about high- wat er—half- past eight . Our plan was t his. The t ide, beginning t o run down at nine, and being wit h us unt il t hree, we int ended st ill t o creep on aft er it had t urned, and row against it unt il dark. We should t hen be well in t hose long reaches below Gravesend, bet ween Kent and Essex, where t he river is broad and solit ary, where t he wat erside inhabit ant s are very few, and where lone public- houses are scat t ered here and t here, of which we could 611

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choose one for a rest ing- place. There, we m eant t o lie by, all night . The st eam er for Ham burg, and t he st eam er for Rot t erdam , would st art from London at about nine on Thursday m orning. We should know at what t im e t o expect t hem , according t o where we were, and would hail t he first ; so t hat if by any accident we were not t aken abroad, we should have anot her chance. We knew t he dist inguishing m arks of each vessel. The relief of being at last engaged in t he execut ion of t he purpose, was so great t o m e t hat I felt it difficult t o realize t he condit ion in which I had been a few hours before. The crisp air, t he sunlight , t he m ovem ent on t he river, and t he m oving river it self—t he road t hat ran wit h us, seem ing t o sym pat hize wit h us, anim at e us, and encourage us on— freshened m e wit h new hope. I felt m ort ified t o be of so lit t le use in t he boat ; but , t here were few bet t er oarsm en t han m y t wo friends, and t hey rowed wit h a st eady st roke t hat was t o last all day. At t hat t im e, t he st eam - t raffic on t he Tham es was far below it s present ext ent , and wat erm en's boat s were far m ore num erous. Of barges, sailing colliers, and coast ing t raders, t here were perhaps as m any as now; but , of st eam - ships, great and sm all, not a t it he or a t went iet h part so m any. Early as it was, t here were plent y of scullers going here and t here t hat m orning, and plent y of barges dropping down wit h t he t ide; t he navigat ion of t he river bet ween bridges, in an open boat , was a m uch easier and com m oner m at t er in t hose days t han it is in t hese; and we went ahead am ong m any skiffs and wherries, briskly. 612

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Old London Bridge was soon passed, and old Billingsgat e m arket wit h it s oyst er- boat s and Dut chm en, and t he Whit e Tower and Trait or's Gat e, and we were in am ong t he t iers of shipping. Here, were t he Leit h, Aberdeen, and Glasgow st eam ers, loading and unloading goods, and looking im m ensely high out of t he wat er as we passed alongside; here, were colliers by t he score and score, wit h t he coalwhippers plunging off st ages on deck, as count erweight s t o m easures of coal swinging up, which were t hen rat t led over t he side int o barges; here, at her m oorings was t o- m orrow's st eam er for Rot t erdam , of which we t ook good not ice; and here t o- m orrow's for Ham burg, under whose bowsprit we crossed. And now I , sit t ing in t he st ern, could see wit h a fast er beat ing heart , Mill Pond Bank and Mill Pond st airs. “ I s he t here?” said Herbert . “ Not yet .” “ Right ! He was not t o com e down t ill he saw us. Can you see his signal?” “ Not well from here; but I t hink I see it .—Now, I see him ! Pull bot h. Easy, Herbert . Oars! ” We t ouched t he st airs light ly for a single m om ent , and he was on board and we were off again. He had a boat - cloak wit h him , and a black canvas bag, and he looked as like a river- pilot as m y heart could have wished. “ Dear boy! ” he said, put t ing his arm on m y shoulder as he t ook his seat . “ Fait hful dear boy, well done. Thankye, t hankye! ” Again am ong t he t iers of shipping, in and out , avoiding rust y chain- cables frayed hem pen hawsers and bobbing buoys, sinking for t he m om ent float ing broken basket s, 613

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scat t ering float ing chips of wood and shaving, cleaving float ing scum of coal, in and out , under t he figure- head of t he John of Sunderland m aking a speech t o t he winds ( as is done by m any Johns) , and t he Bet sy of Yarm out h wit h a firm form alit y of bosom and her nobby eyes st art ing t wo inches out of her head, in and out , ham m ers going in shipbuilders'yards, saws going at t im ber, clashing engines going at t hings unknown, pum ps going in leaky ships, capst ans going, ships going out t o sea, and unint elligible seacreat ures roaring curses over t he bulwarks at respondent light erm en, in and out —out at last upon t he clearer river, where t he ships’ boys m ight t ake t heir fenders in, no longer fishing in t roubled wat ers wit h t hem over t he side, and where t he fest ooned sails m ight fly out t o t he wind. At t he St airs where we had t aken him abroad, and ever since, I had looked warily for any t oken of our being suspect ed. I had seen none. We cert ainly had not been, and at t hat t im e as cert ainly we were not , eit her at t ended or followed by any boat . I f we had been wait ed on by any boat , I should have run in t o shore, and have obliged her t o go on, or t o m ake her purpose evident . But , we held our own, wit hout any appearance of m olest at ion. He had his boat - cloak on him , and looked, as I have said, a nat ural part of t he scene. I t was rem arkable ( but perhaps t he wret ched life he had led, account ed for it ) , t hat he was t he least anxious of any of us. He was not indifferent , for he t old m e t hat he hoped t o live t o see his gent lem an one of t he best of gent lem en in a foreign count ry; he was not disposed t o be passive or resigned, as I underst ood it ; but he had no 614

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not ion of m eet ing danger half way. When it cam e upon him , he confront ed it , but it m ust com e before he t roubled him self. “ I f you knowed, dear boy,” he said t o m e, “ what it is t o sit here alonger m y dear boy and have m y sm oke, art er having been day by day bet wixt four walls, you'd envy m e. But you don't know what it is.” “ I t hink I know t he delight s of freedom ,” I answered. “ Ah,” said he, shaking his head gravely. “ But you don't know it equal t o m e. You m ust have been under lock and key, dear boy, t o know it equal t o m e—but I ain't a- going t o be low.” I t occurred t o m e as inconsist ent , t hat for any m ast ering idea, he should have endangered his freedom and even his life. But I reflect ed t hat perhaps freedom wit hout danger was t oo m uch apart from all t he habit of his exist ence t o be t o him what it would be t o anot her m an. I was not far out , since he said, aft er sm oking a lit t le: “ You see, dear boy, when I was over yonder, t 'ot her side t he world, I was always a- looking t o t his side; and it com e flat t o be t here, for all I was a- growing rich. Everybody knowed Magwit ch, and Magwit ch could com e, and Magwit ch could go, and nobody's head would be t roubled about him . They ain't so easy concerning m e here, dear boy—wouldn't be, least wise, if t hey knowed where I was.” “ I f all goes well,” said I , “ you will be perfect ly free and safe again, wit hin a few hours.” “ Well,” he ret urned, drawing a long breat h, “ I hope so.” “ And t hink so?” 615

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He dipped his hand in t he wat er over t he boat 's gunwale, and said, sm iling wit h t hat soft ened air upon him which was not new t o m e: “ Ay, I s'pose I t hink so, dear boy. We'd be puzzled t o be m ore quiet and easy- going t han we are at present . But —it 's a- flowing so soft and pleasant t hrough t he wat er, p'raps, as m akes m e t hink it —I was a- t hinking t hrough m y sm oke j ust t hen, t hat we can no m ore see t o t he bot t om of t he next few hours, t han we can see t o t he bot t om of t his river what I cat ches hold of. Nor yet we can't no m ore hold t heir t ide t han I can hold t his. And it 's run t hrough m y fingers and gone, you see! ” holding up his dripping hand. “ But for your face, I should t hink you were a lit t le despondent ,” said I . “ Not a bit on it , dear boy! I t com es of flowing on so quiet , and of t hat t here rippling at t he boat 's head m aking a sort of a Sunday t une. Maybe I 'm a- growing a t rifle old besides.” He put his pipe back in his m out h wit h an undist urbed expression of face, and sat as com posed and cont ent ed as if we were already out of England. Yet he was as subm issive t o a word of advice as if he had been in const ant t error, for, when we ran ashore t o get som e bot t les of beer int o t he boat , and he was st epping out , I hint ed t hat I t hought he would be safest where he was, and he said. “ Do you, dear boy?” and quiet ly sat down again. The air felt cold upon t he river, but it was a bright day, and t he sunshine was very cheering. The t ide ran st rong, I t ook care t o lose none of it , and our st eady st roke carried us on t horoughly well. By im percept ible degrees, as t he t ide ran 616

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out , we lost m ore and m ore of t he nearer woods and hills, and dropped lower and lower bet ween t he m uddy banks, but t he t ide was yet wit h us when we were off Gravesend. As our charge was wrapped in his cloak, I purposely passed wit hin a boat or t wo's lengt h of t he float ing Cust om House, and so out t o cat ch t he st ream , alongside of t wo em igrant ships, and under t he bows of a large t ransport wit h t roops on t he forecast le looking down at us. And soon t he t ide began t o slacken, and t he craft lying at anchor t o swing, and present ly t hey had all swung round, and t he ships t hat were t aking advant age of t he new t ide t o get up t o t he Pool, began t o crowd upon us in a fleet , and we kept under t he shore, as m uch out of t he st rengt h of t he t ide now as we could, st anding carefully off from low shallows and m udbanks. Our oarsm en were so fresh, by dint of having occasionally let her drive wit h t he t ide for a m inut e or t wo, t hat a quart er of an hour's rest proved full as m uch as t hey want ed. We got ashore am ong som e slippery st ones while we at e and drank what we had wit h us, and looked about . I t was like m y own m arsh count ry, flat and m onot onous, and wit h a dim horizon; while t he winding river t urned and t urned, and t he great float ing buoys upon it t urned and t urned, and everyt hing else seem ed st randed and st ill. For, now, t he last of t he fleet of ships was round t he last low point we had headed; and t he last green barge, st raw- laden, wit h a brown sail, had followed; and som e ballast - light ers, shaped like a child's first rude im it at ion of a boat , lay low in t he m ud; and a lit t le squat shoal- light house on open piles, st ood crippled in t he m ud on st ilt s and crut ches; and slim y st akes st uck out of t he m ud, 617

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and slim y st ones st uck out of t he m ud, and red landm arks and t idem arks st uck out of t he m ud, and an old landing- st age and an old roofless building slipped int o t he m ud, and all about us was st agnat ion and m ud. We pushed off again, and m ade what way we could. I t was m uch harder work now, but Herbert and St art op persevered, and rowed, and rowed, and rowed, unt il t he sun went down. By t hat t im e t he river had lift ed us a lit t le, so t hat we could see above t he bank. There was t he red sun, on t he low level of t he shore, in a purple haze, fast deepening int o black; and t here was t he solit ary flat m arsh; and far away t here were t he rising grounds, bet ween which and us t here seem ed t o be no life, save here and t here in t he foreground a m elancholy gull. As t he night was fast falling, and as t he m oon, being past t he full, would not rise early, we held a lit t le council: a short one, for clearly our course was t o lie by at t he first lonely t avern we could find. So, t hey plied t heir oars once m ore, and I looked out for anyt hing like a house. Thus we held on, speaking lit t le, for four or five dull m iles. I t was very cold, and, a collier com ing by us, wit h her galley- fire sm oking and flaring, looked like a com fort able hom e. The night was as dark by t his t im e as it would be unt il m orning; and what light we had, seem ed t o com e m ore from t he river t han t he sky, as t he oars in t heir dipping st ruck at a few reflect ed st ars. At t his dism al t im e we were evident ly all possessed by t he idea t hat we were followed. As t he t ide m ade, it flapped heavily at irregular int ervals against t he shore; and whenever such a sound cam e, one or ot her of us was sure t o st art and 618

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look in t hat direct ion. Here and t here, t he set of t he current had worn down t he bank int o a lit t le creek, and we were all suspicious of such places, and eyed t hem nervously. Som et im es, “ What was t hat ripple?” one of us would say in a low voice. Or anot her, “ I s t hat a boat yonder?” And aft erwards, we would fall int o a dead silence, and I would sit im pat ient ly t hinking wit h what an unusual am ount of noise t he oars worked in t he t howels. At lengt h we descried a light and a roof, and present ly aft erwards ran alongside a lit t le causeway m ade of st ones t hat had been picked up hard by. Leaving t he rest in t he boat , I st epped ashore, and found t he light t o be in a window of a public- house. I t was a dirt y place enough, and I dare say not unknown t o sm uggling advent urers; but t here was a good fire in t he kit chen, and t here were eggs and bacon t o eat , and various liquors t o drink. Also, t here were t wo double- bedded room s—" such as t hey were,” t he landlord said. No ot her com pany was in t he house t han t he landlord, his wife, and a grizzled m ale creat ure, t he “ Jack” of t he lit t le causeway, who was as slim y and sm eary as if he had been low- wat er m ark t oo. Wit h t his assist ant , I went down t o t he boat again, and we all cam e ashore, and brought out t he oars, and rudder, and boat - hook, and all else, and hauled her up for t he night . We m ade a very good m eal by t he kit chen fire, and t hen apport ioned t he bedroom s: Herbert and St art op were t o occupy one; I and our charge t he ot her. We found t he air as carefully excluded from bot h, as if air were fat al t o life; and t here were m ore dirt y clot hes and bandboxes under t he beds 619

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t han I should have t hought t he fam ily possessed. But , we considered ourselves well off, not wit hst anding, for a m ore solit ary place we could not have found. While we were com fort ing ourselves by t he fire aft er our m eal, t he Jack—who was sit t ing in a corner, and who had a bloat ed pair of shoes on, which he had exhibit ed while we were eat ing our eggs and bacon, as int erest ing relics t hat he had t aken a few days ago from t he feet of a drowned seam an washed ashore—asked m e if we had seen a four- oared galley going up wit h t he t ide? When I t old him No, he said she m ust have gone down t hen, and yet she “ t ook up t oo,” when she left t here. “ They m ust ha’ t hought bet t er on't for som e reason or anot her,” said t he Jack, “ and gone down.” “ A four- oared galley, did you say?” said I . “ A four,” said t he Jack, “ and t wo sit t ers.” “ Did t hey com e ashore here?” “ They put in wit h a st one t wo- gallon j ar, for som e beer. I 'd ha'been glad t o pison t he beer m yself,” said t he Jack, “ or put som e rat t ling physic in it .” “ Why?” “ I know why,” said t he Jack. He spoke in a slushy voice, as if m uch m ud had washed int o his t hroat . “ He t hinks,” said t he landlord: a weakly m edit at ive m an wit h a pale eye, who seem ed t o rely great ly on his Jack: “ he t hinks t hey was, what t hey wasn't .” “ I knows what I t hinks,” observed t he Jack. “ You t hinks Cust um ‘Us, Jack?” said t he landlord. “ I do,” said t he Jack. 620

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“ Then you're wrong, Jack.” “ Am I ! ” I n t he infinit e m eaning of his reply and his boundless confidence in his views, t he Jack t ook one of his bloat ed shoes off, looked int o it , knocked a few st ones out of it on t he kit chen floor, and put it on again. He did t his wit h t he air of a Jack who was so right t hat he could afford t o do anyt hing. “ Why, what do you m ake out t hat t hey done wit h t heir but t ons t hen, Jack?” asked t he landlord, vacillat ing weakly. “ Done wit h t heir but t ons?” ret urned t he Jack. “ Chucked ‘em overboard. Swallered ‘em . Sowed ‘em , t o com e up sm all salad. Done wit h t heir but t ons! ” “ Don't be cheeky, Jack,” rem onst rat ed t he landlord, in a m elancholy and pat het ic way. “ A Cust um ‘Us officer knows what t o do wit h his But t ons,” said t he Jack, repeat ing t he obnoxious word wit h t he great est cont em pt , “ when t hey com es bet wixt him and his own light . A Four and t wo sit t ers don't go hanging and hovering, up wit h one t ide and down wit h anot her, and bot h wit h and against anot her, wit hout t here being Cust um ‘Us at t he bot t om of it .” Saying which he went out in disdain; and t he landlord, having no one t o reply upon, found it im pract icable t o pursue t he subj ect . This dialogue m ade us all uneasy, and m e very uneasy. The dism al wind was m ut t ering round t he house, t he t ide was flapping at t he shore, and I had a feeling t hat we were caged and t hreat ened. A four- oared galley hovering about in so unusual a way as t o at t ract t his not ice, was an ugly circum st ance t hat I could not get rid of. When I had induced 621

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Provis t o go up t o bed, I went out side wit h m y t wo com panions ( St art op by t his t im e knew t he st at e of t he case) , and held anot her council. Whet her we should rem ain at t he house unt il near t he st eam er's t im e, which would be about one in t he aft ernoon; or whet her we should put off early in t he m orning; was t he quest ion we discussed. On t he whole we deem ed it t he bet t er course t o lie where we were, unt il wit hin an hour or so of t he st eam er's t im e, and t hen t o get out in her t rack, and drift easily wit h t he t ide. Having set t led t o do t his, we ret urned int o t he house and went t o bed. I lay down wit h t he great er part of m y clot hes on, and slept well for a few hours. When I awoke, t he wind had risen, and t he sign of t he house ( t he Ship) was creaking and banging about , wit h noises t hat st art led m e. Rising soft ly, for m y charge lay fast asleep, I looked out of t he window. I t com m anded t he causeway where we had hauled up our boat , and, as m y eyes adapt ed t hem selves t o t he light of t he clouded m oon, I saw t wo m en looking int o her. They passed by under t he window, looking at not hing else, and t hey did not go down t o t he landing- place which I could discern t o be em pt y, but st ruck across t he m arsh in t he direct ion of t he Nore. My first im pulse was t o call up Herbert , and show him t he t wo m en going away. But , reflect ing before I got int o his room , which was at t he back of t he house and adj oined m ine, t hat he and St art op had had a harder day t han I , and were fat igued, I forbore. Going back t o m y window, I could see t he t wo m en m oving over t he m arsh. I n t hat light , however, I 622

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soon lost t hem , and feeling very cold, lay down t o t hink of t he m at t er, and fell asleep again. We were up early. As we walked t o and fro, all four t oget her, before breakfast , I deem ed it right t o recount what I had seen. Again our charge was t he least anxious of t he part y. I t was very likely t hat t he m en belonged t o t he Cust om House, he said quiet ly, and t hat t hey had no t hought of us. I t ried t o persuade m yself t hat it was so—as, indeed, it m ight easily be. However, I proposed t hat he and I should walk away t oget her t o a dist ant point we could see, and t hat t he boat should t ake us aboard t here, or as near t here as m ight prove feasible, at about noon. This being considered a good precaut ion, soon aft er breakfast he and I set fort h, wit hout saying anyt hing at t he t avern. He sm oked his pipe as we went along, and som et im es st opped t o clap m e on t he shoulder. One would have supposed t hat it was I who was in danger, not he, and t hat he was reassuring m e. We spoke very lit t le. As we approached t he point , I begged him t o rem ain in a shelt ered place, while I went on t o reconnoit re; for, it was t owards it t hat t he m en had passed in t he night . He com plied, and I went on alone. There was no boat off t he point , nor any boat drawn up anywhere near it , nor were t here any signs of t he m en having em barked t here. But , t o be sure t he t ide was high, and t here m ight have been som e foot pint s under wat er. When he looked out from his shelt er in t he dist ance, and saw t hat I waved m y hat t o him t o com e up, he rej oined m e, and t here we wait ed; som et im es lying on t he bank wrapped in our coat s, and som et im es m oving about t o warm 623

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ourselves: unt il we saw our boat com ing round. We got aboard easily, and rowed out int o t he t rack of t he st eam er. By t hat t im e it want ed but t en m inut es of one o'clock, and we began t o look out for her sm oke. But , it was half- past one before we saw her sm oke, and soon aft erwards we saw behind it t he sm oke of anot her st eam er. As t hey were com ing on at full speed, we got t he t wo bags ready, and t ook t hat opport unit y of saying good- bye t o Herbert and St art op. We had all shaken hands cordially, and neit her Herbert 's eyes nor m ine were quit e dry, when I saw a four- oared galley shoot out from under t he bank but a lit t le way ahead of us, and row out int o t he sam e t rack. A st ret ch of shore had been as yet bet ween us and t he st eam er's sm oke, by reason of t he bend and wind of t he river; but now she was visible, com ing head on. I called t o Herbert and St art op t o keep before t he t ide, t hat she m ight see us lying by for her, and I adj ured Provis t o sit quit e st ill, wrapped in his cloak. He answered cheerily, “ Trust t o m e, dear boy,” and sat like a st at ue. Meant im e t he galley, which was very skilfully handled, had crossed us, let us com e up wit h her, and fallen alongside. Leaving j ust room enough for t he play of t he oars, she kept alongside, drift ing when we drift ed, and pulling a st roke or t wo when we pulled. Of t he t wo sit t ers one held t he rudder lines, and looked at us at t ent ively—as did all t he rowers; t he ot her sit t er was wrapped up, m uch as Provis was, and seem ed t o shrink, and whisper som e inst ruct ion t o t he st eerer as he looked at us. Not a word was spoken in eit her boat . 624

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St art op could m ake out , aft er a few m inut es, which st eam er was first , and gave m e t he word “ Ham burg,” in a low voice as we sat face t o face. She was nearing us very fast , and t he beat ing of her peddles grew louder and louder. I felt as if her shadow were absolut ely upon us, when t he galley hailed us. I answered. “ You have a ret urned Transport t here,” said t he m an who held t he lines. “ That 's t he m an, wrapped in t he cloak. His nam e is Abel Magwit ch, ot herwise Provis. I apprehend t hat m an, and call upon him t o surrender, and you t o assist .” At t he sam e m om ent , wit hout giving any audible direct ion t o his crew, he ran t he galley abroad of us. They had pulled one sudden st roke ahead, had got t heir oars in, had run at hwart us, and were holding on t o our gunwale, before we knew what t hey were doing. This caused great confusion on board t he st eam er, and I heard t hem calling t o us, and heard t he order given t o st op t he paddles, and heard t hem st op, but felt her driving down upon us irresist ibly. I n t he sam e m om ent , I saw t he st eersm an of t he galley lay his hand on his prisoner's shoulder, and saw t hat bot h boat s were swinging round wit h t he force of t he t ide, and saw t hat all hands on board t he st eam er were running forward quit e frant ically. St ill in t he sam e m om ent , I saw t he prisoner st art up, lean across his capt or, and pull t he cloak from t he neck of t he shrinking sit t er in t he galley. St ill in t he sam e m om ent , I saw t hat t he face disclosed, was t he face of t he ot her convict of long ago. St ill in t he sam e m om ent , I saw t he face t ilt backward wit h a whit e t error on it t hat I shall never forget , 625

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and heard a great cry on board t he st eam er and a loud splash in t he wat er, and felt t he boat sink from under m e. I t was but for an inst ant t hat I seem ed t o st ruggle wit h a t housand m ill- weirs and a t housand flashes of light ; t hat inst ant past , I was t aken on board t he galley. Herbert was t here, and St art op was t here; but our boat was gone, and t he t wo convict s were gone. What wit h t he cries aboard t he st eam er, and t he furious blowing off of her st eam , and her driving on, and our driving on, I could not at first dist inguish sky from wat er or shore from shore; but , t he crew of t he galley right ed her wit h great speed, and, pulling cert ain swift st rong st rokes ahead, lay upon t heir oars, every m an looking silent ly and eagerly at t he wat er ast ern. Present ly a dark obj ect was seen in it , bearing t owards us on t he t ide. No m an spoke, but t he st eersm an held up his hand, and all soft ly backed wat er, and kept t he boat st raight and t rue before it . As it cam e nearer, I saw it t o be Magwit ch, swim m ing, but not swim m ing freely. He was t aken on board, and inst ant ly m anacled at t he wrist s and ankles. The galley was kept st eady, and t he silent eager look- out at t he wat er was resum ed. But , t he Rot t erdam st eam er now cam e up, and apparent ly not underst anding what had happened, cam e on at speed. By t he t im e she had been hailed and st opped, bot h st eam ers were drift ing away from us, and we were rising and falling in a t roubled wake of wat er. The look- out was kept , long aft er all was st ill again and t he t wo st eam ers were gone; but , everybody knew t hat it was hopeless now. 626

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At lengt h we gave it up, and pulled under t he shore t owards t he t avern we had lat ely left , where we were received wit h no lit t le surprise. Here, I was able t o get som e com fort s for Magwit ch—Provis no longer—who had received som e very severe inj ury in t he chest and a deep cut in t he head. He t old m e t hat he believed him self t o have gone under t he keel of t he st eam er, and t o have been st ruck on t he head in rising. The inj ury t o his chest ( which rendered his breat hing ext rem ely painful) he t hought he had received against t he side of t he galley. He added t hat he did not pret end t o say what he m ight or m ight not have done t o Com peyson, but , t hat in t he m om ent of his laying his hand on his cloak t o ident ify him , t hat villain had st aggered up and st aggered back, and t hey had bot h gone overboard t oget her; when t he sudden wrenching of him ( Magwit ch) out of our boat , and t he endeavour of his capt or t o keep him in it , had capsized us. He t old m e in a whisper t hat t hey had gone down, fiercely locked in each ot her's arm s, and t hat t here had been a st ruggle under wat er, and t hat he had disengaged him self, st ruck out , and swum away. I never had any reason t o doubt t he exact t rut h of what he t hus t old m e. The officer who st eered t he galley gave t he sam e account of t heir going overboard. When I asked t his officer's perm ission t o change t he prisoner's wet clot hes by purchasing any spare garm ent s I could get at t he public- house, he gave it readily: m erely observing t hat he m ust t ake charge of everyt hing his prisoner had about him . So t he pocket book which had once been in m y hands, passed int o t he officer's. He furt her gave m e leave 627

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t o accom pany t he prisoner t o London; but , declined t o accord t hat grace t o m y t wo friends. The Jack at t he Ship was inst ruct ed where t he drowned m an had gone down, and undert ook t o search for t he body in t he places where it was likeliest t o com e ashore. His int erest in it s recovery seem ed t o m e t o be m uch height ened when he heard t hat it had st ockings on. Probably, it t ook about a dozen drowned m en t o fit him out com plet ely; and t hat m ay have been t he reason why t he different art icles of his dress were in various st ages of decay. We rem ained at t he public- house unt il t he t ide t urned, and t hen Magwit ch was carried down t o t he galley and put on board. Herbert and St art op were t o get t o London by land, as soon as t hey could. We had a doleful part ing, and when I t ook m y place by Magwit ch's side, I felt t hat t hat was m y place hencefort h while he lived. For now, m y repugnance t o him had all m elt ed away, and in t he hunt ed wounded shackled creat ure who held m y hand in his, I only saw a m an who had m eant t o be m y benefact or, and who had felt affect ionat ely, grat efully, and generously, t owards m e wit h great const ancy t hrough a series of years. I only saw in him a m uch bet t er m an t han I had been t o Joe. His breat hing becam e m ore difficult and painful as t he night drew on, and oft en he could not repress a groan. I t ried t o rest him on t he arm I could use, in any easy posit ion; but , it was dreadful t o t hink t hat I could not be sorry at heart for his being badly hurt , since it was unquest ionably best t hat he should die. That t here were, st ill living, people enough who were able and willing t o ident ify him , I could not doubt . That 628

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he would be lenient ly t reat ed, I could not hope. He who had been present ed in t he worst light at his t rial, who had since broken prison and had been t ried again, who had ret urned from t ransport at ion under a life sent ence, and who had occasioned t he deat h of t he m an who was t he cause of his arrest . As we ret urned t owards t he set t ing sun we had yest erday left behind us, and as t he st ream of our hopes seem ed all running back, I t old him how grieved I was t o t hink t hat he had com e hom e for m y sake. “ Dear boy,” he answered, “ I 'm quit e cont ent t o t ake m y chance. I 've seen m y boy, and he can be a gent lem an wit hout m e.” No. I had t hought about t hat , while we had been t here side by side. No. Apart from any inclinat ions of m y own, I underst ood Wem m ick's hint now. I foresaw t hat , being convict ed, his possessions would be forfeit ed t o t he Crown. “ Lookee here, dear boy,” said he “ I t 's best as a gent lem an should not be knowed t o belong t o m e now. Only com e t o see m e as if you com e by chance alonger Wem m ick. Sit where I can see you when I am swore t o, for t he last o’ m any t im es, and I don't ask no m ore.” “ I will never st ir from your side,” said I , “ when I am suffered t o be near you. Please God, I will be as t rue t o you, as you have been t o m e! ” I felt his hand t rem ble as it held m ine, and he t urned his face away as he lay in t he bot t om of t he boat , and I heard t hat old sound in his t hroat —soft ened now, like all t he rest of him . I t was a good t hing t hat he had t ouched t his point , for it 629

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put int o m y m ind what I m ight not ot herwise have t hought of unt il t oo lat e: That he need never know how his hopes of enriching m e had perished.

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Chapt er 55 He was t aken t o t he Police Court next day, and would have been im m ediat ely com m it t ed for t rial, but t hat it was necessary t o send down for an old officer of t he prison- ship from which he had once escaped, t o speak t o his ident it y. Nobody doubt ed it ; but , Com peyson, who had m eant t o depose t o it , was t um bling on t he t ides, dead, and it happened t hat t here was not at t hat t im e any prison officer in London who could give t he required evidence. I had gone direct t o Mr. Jaggers at his privat e house, on m y arrival over night , t o ret ain his assist ance, and Mr. Jaggers on t he prisoner's behalf would adm it not hing. I t was t he sole resource, for he t old m e t hat t he case m ust be over in five m inut es when t he wit ness was t here, and t hat no power on eart h could prevent it s going against us. I im part ed t o Mr. Jaggers m y design of keeping him in ignorance of t he fat e of his wealt h. Mr. Jaggers was querulous and angry wit h m e for having “ let it slip t hrough m y fingers,” and said we m ust m em orialize by- and- by, and t ry at all event s for som e of it . But , he did not conceal from m e t hat alt hough t here m ight be m any cases in which t he forfeit ure would not be exact ed, t here were no circum st ances in t his case t o m ake it one of t hem . I underst ood t hat , very well. I was not relat ed t o t he out law, or connect ed wit h him by any recognizable t ie; he had put his hand t o no writ ing or set t lem ent in m y favour before his apprehension, and t o do so now would be idle. I had no claim , and I finally resolved, 631

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and ever aft erwards abided by t he resolut ion, t hat m y heart should never be sickened wit h t he hopeless t ask of at t em pt ing t o est ablish one. There appeared t o be reason for supposing t hat t he drowned inform er had hoped for a reward out of t his forfeit ure, and had obt ained som e accurat e knowledge of Magwit ch's affairs. When his body was found, m any m iles from t he scene of his deat h, and so horribly disfigured t hat he was only recognizable by t he cont ent s of his pocket s, not es were st ill legible, folded in a case he carried. Am ong t hese, were t he nam e of a banking- house in New Sout h Wales where a sum of m oney was, and t he designat ion of cert ain lands of considerable value. Bot h t hese heads of inform at ion were in a list t hat Magwit ch, while in prison, gave t o Mr. Jaggers, of t he possessions he supposed I should inherit . His ignorance, poor fellow, at last served him ; he never m ist rust ed but t hat m y inherit ance was quit e safe, wit h Mr. Jaggers's aid. Aft er t hree days’ delay, during which t he crown prosecut ion st ood over for t he product ion of t he wit ness from t he prison- ship, t he wit ness cam e, and com plet ed t he easy case. He was com m it t ed t o t ake his t rial at t he next Sessions, which would com e on in a m ont h. I t was at t his dark t im e of m y life t hat Herbert ret urned hom e one evening, a good deal cast down, and said: “ My dear Handel, I fear I shall soon have t o leave you.” His part ner having prepared m e for t hat , I was less surprised t han he t hought .

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“ We shall lose a fine opport unit y if I put off going t o Cairo, and I am very m uch afraid I m ust go, Handel, when you m ost need m e.” “ Herbert , I shall always need you, because I shall always love you; but m y need is no great er now, t han at anot her t im e.” “ You will be so lonely.” “ I have not leisure t o t hink of t hat ,” said I . “ You know t hat I am always wit h him t o t he full ext ent of t he t im e allowed, and t hat I should be wit h him all day long, if I could. And when I com e away from him , you know t hat m y t hought s are wit h him .” The dreadful condit ion t o which he was brought , was so appalling t o bot h of us, t hat we could not refer t o it in plainer words. “ My dear fellow,” said Herbert , “ let t he near prospect of our separat ion—for, it is very near—be m y j ust ificat ion for t roubling you about yourself. Have you t hought of your fut ure?” “ No, for I have been afraid t o t hink of any fut ure.” “ But yours cannot be dism issed; indeed, m y dear dear Handel, it m ust not be dism issed. I wish you would ent er on it now, as far as a few friendly words go, wit h m e.” “ I will,” said I . “ I n t his branch house of ours, Handel, we m ust have a—” I saw t hat his delicacy was avoiding t he right word, so I said, “ A clerk.” “ A clerk. And I hope it is not at all unlikely t hat he m ay expand ( as a clerk of your acquaint ance has expanded) int o a 633

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part ner. Now, Handel—in short , m y dear boy, will you com e t o m e?” There was som et hing charm ingly cordial and engaging in t he m anner in which aft er saying “ Now, Handel,” as if it were t he grave beginning of a port ent ous business exordium , he had suddenly given up t hat t one, st ret ched out his honest hand, and spoken like a schoolboy. “ Clara and I have t alked about it again and again,” Herbert pursued, “ and t he dear lit t le t hing begged m e only t his evening, wit h t ears in her eyes, t o say t o you t hat if you will live wit h us when we com e t oget her, she will do her best t o m ake you happy, and t o convince her husband's friend t hat he is her friend t oo. We should get on so well, Handel! ” I t hanked her heart ily, and I t hanked him heart ily, but said I could not yet m ake sure of j oining him as he so kindly offered. First ly, m y m ind was t oo preoccupied t o be able t o t ake in t he subj ect clearly. Secondly—Yes! Secondly, t here was a vague som et hing lingering in m y t hought s t hat will com e out very near t he end of t his slight narrat ive. “ But if you t hought , Herbert , t hat you could, wit hout doing any inj ury t o your business, leave t he quest ion open for a lit t le while—” “ For any while,” cried Herbert . “ Six m ont hs, a year! ” “ Not so long as t hat ,” said I . “ Two or t hree m ont hs at m ost .” Herbert was highly delight ed when we shook hands on t his arrangem ent , and said he could now t ake courage t o t ell m e t hat he believed he m ust go away at t he end of t he week. “ And Clara?” said I . 634

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“ The dear lit t le t hing,” ret urned Herbert , “ holds dut ifully t o her fat her as long as he last s; but he won't last long. Mrs. Whim ple confides t o m e t hat he is cert ainly going.” “ Not t o say an unfeeling t hing,” said I , “ he cannot do bet t er t han go.” “ I am afraid t hat m ust be adm it t ed,” said Herbert : “ and t hen I shall com e back for t he dear lit t le t hing, and t he dear lit t le t hing and I will walk quiet ly int o t he nearest church. Rem em ber! The blessed darling com es of no fam ily, m y dear Handel, and never looked int o t he red book, and hasn't a not ion about her grandpapa. What a fort une for t he son of m y m ot her! ” On t he Sat urday in t hat sam e week, I t ook m y leave of Herbert —full of bright hope, but sad and sorry t o leave m e— as he sat on one of t he seaport m ail coaches. I went int o a coffee- house t o writ e a lit t le not e t o Clara, t elling her he had gone off, sending his love t o her over and over again, and t hen went t o m y lonely hom e—if it deserved t he nam e, for it was now no hom e t o m e, and I had no hom e anywhere. On t he st airs I encount ered Wem m ick, who was com ing down, aft er an unsuccessful applicat ion of his knuckles t o m y door. I had not seen him alone, since t he disast rous issue of t he at t em pt ed flight ; and he had com e, in his privat e and personal capacit y, t o say a few words of explanat ion in reference t o t hat failure. “ The lat e Com peyson,” said Wem m ick, “ had by lit t le and lit t le got at t he bot t om of half of t he regular business now t ransact ed, and it was from t he t alk of som e of his people in t rouble ( som e of his people being always in t rouble) t hat I 635

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heard what I did. I kept m y ears open, seem ing t o have t hem shut , unt il I heard t hat he was absent , and I t hought t hat would be t he best t im e for m aking t he at t em pt . I can only suppose now, t hat it was a part of his policy, as a very clever m an, habit ually t o deceive his own inst rum ent s. You don't blam e m e, I hope, Mr. Pip? I am sure I t ried t o serve you, wit h all m y heart .” “ I am as sure of t hat , Wem m ick, as you can be, and I t hank you m ost earnest ly for all your int erest and friendship.” “ Thank you, t hank you very m uch. I t 's a bad j ob,” said Wem m ick, scrat ching his head, “ and I assure you I haven't been so cut up for a long t im e. What I look at , is t he sacrifice of so m uch port able propert y. Dear m e! ” “ What I t hink of, Wem m ick, is t he poor owner of t he propert y.” “ Yes, t o be sure,” said Wem m ick. “ Of course t here can be no obj ect ion t o your being sorry for him , and I 'd put down a five- pound not e m yself t o get him out of it . But what I look at , is t his. The lat e Com peyson having been beforehand wit h him in int elligence of his ret urn, and being so det erm ined t o bring him t o book, I do not t hink he could have been saved. Whereas, t he port able propert y cert ainly could have been saved. That 's t he difference bet ween t he propert y and t he owner, don't you see?” I invit ed Wem m ick t o com e up- st airs, and refresh him self wit h a glass of grog before walking t o Walwort h. He accept ed t he invit at ion. While he was drinking his m oderat e allowance, he said, wit h not hing t o lead up t o it , and aft er having appeared rat her fidget y: 636

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“ What do you t hink of m y m eaning t o t ake a holiday on Monday, Mr. Pip?” “ Why, I suppose you have not done such a t hing t hese t welve m ont hs.” “ These t welve years, m ore likely,” said Wem m ick. “ Yes. I 'm going t o t ake a holiday. More t han t hat ; I 'm going t o t ake a walk. More t han t hat ; I 'm going t o ask you t o t ake a walk wit h m e.” I was about t o excuse m yself, as being but a bad com panion j ust t hen, when Wem m ick ant icipat ed m e. “ I know your engagem ent s,” said he, “ and I know you are out of sort s, Mr. Pip. But if you could oblige m e, I should t ake it as a kindness. I t ain't a long walk, and it 's an early one. Say it m ight occupy you ( including breakfast on t he walk) from eight t o t welve. Couldn't you st ret ch a point and m anage it ?” He had done so m uch for m e at various t im es, t hat t his was very lit t le t o do for him . I said I could m anage it —would m anage it —and he was so very m uch pleased by m y acquiescence, t hat I was pleased t oo. At his part icular request , I appoint ed t o call for him at t he Cast le at half- past eight on Monday m orning, and so we part ed for t he t im e. Punct ual t o m y appoint m ent , I rang at t he Cast le gat e on t he Monday m orning, and was received by Wem m ick him self: who st ruck m e as looking t ight er t han usual, and having a sleeker hat on. Wit hin, t here were t wo glasses of rum - andm ilk prepared, and t wo biscuit s. The Aged m ust have been st irring wit h t he lark, for, glancing int o t he perspect ive of his bedroom , I observed t hat his bed was em pt y. 637

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When we had fort ified ourselves wit h t he rum - and- m ilk and biscuit s, and were going out for t he walk wit h t hat t raining preparat ion on us, I was considerably surprised t o see Wem m ick t ake up a fishing- rod, and put it over his shoulder. “ Why, we are not going fishing! ” said I . “ No,” ret urned Wem m ick, “ but I like t o walk wit h one.” I t hought t his odd; however, I said not hing, and we set off. We went t owards Cam berwell Green, and when we were t hereabout s, Wem m ick said suddenly: “ Halloa! Here's a church! ” There was not hing very surprising in t hat ; but a gain, I was rat her surprised, when he said, as if he were anim at ed by a brilliant idea: “ Let 's go in! ” We went in, Wem m ick leaving his fishing- rod in t he porch, and looked all round. I n t he m ean t im e, Wem m ick was diving int o his coat - pocket s, and get t ing som et hing out of paper t here. “ Halloa! ” said he. “ Here's a couple of pair of gloves! Let 's put ‘em on! ” As t he gloves were whit e kid gloves, and as t he post - office was widened t o it s ut m ost ext ent , I now began t o have m y st rong suspicions. They were st rengt hened int o cert aint y when I beheld t he Aged ent er at a side door, escort ing a lady. “ Halloa! ” said Wem m ick. “ Here's Miss Skiffins! Let 's have a wedding.” That discreet dam sel was at t ired as usual, except t hat she was now engaged in subst it ut ing for her green kid gloves, a pair of whit e. The Aged was likewise occupied in preparing a 638

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sim ilar sacrifice for t he alt ar of Hym en. The old gent lem an, however, experienced so m uch difficult y in get t ing his gloves on, t hat Wem m ick found it necessary t o put him wit h his back against a pillar, and t hen t o get behind t he pillar him self and pull away at t hem , while I for m y part held t he old gent lem an round t he waist , t hat he m ight present and equal and safe resist ance. By dint of t his ingenious Schem e, his gloves were got on t o perfect ion. The clerk and clergym an t hen appearing, we were ranged in order at t hose fat al rails. True t o his not ion of seem ing t o do it all wit hout preparat ion, I heard Wem m ick say t o him self as he t ook som et hing out of his waist coat - pocket before t he service began, “ Halloa! Here's a ring! ” I act ed in t he capacit y of backer, or best - m an, t o t he bridegroom ; while a lit t le lim p pew opener in a soft bonnet like a baby's, m ade a feint of being t he bosom friend of Miss Skiffins. The responsibilit y of giving t he lady away, devolved upon t he Aged, which led t o t he clergym an's being unint ent ionally scandalized, and it happened t hus. When he said, “ Who givet h t his wom an t o be m arried t o t his m an?” t he old gent lem en, not in t he least knowing what point of t he cerem ony we had arrived at , st ood m ost am iably beam ing at t he t en com m andm ent s. Upon which, t he clergym an said again, “ WHO givet h t his wom an t o be m arried t o t his m an?” The old gent lem an being st ill in a st at e of m ost est im able unconsciousness, t he bridegroom cried out in his accust om ed voice, “ Now Aged P. you know; who givet h?” To which t he Aged replied wit h great briskness, before saying t hat he gave, “ All right , John, all right , m y boy! ” And t he clergym an cam e 639

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t o so gloom y a pause upon it , t hat I had doubt s for t he m om ent whet her we should get com plet ely m arried t hat day. I t was com plet ely done, however, and when we were going out of church, Wem m ick t ook t he cover off t he font , and put his whit e gloves in it , and put t he cover on again. Mrs. Wem m ick, m ore heedful of t he fut ure, put her whit e gloves in her pocket and assum ed her green. “ Now, Mr. Pip,” said Wem m ick, t rium phant ly shouldering t he fishing- rod as we cam e out , “ let m e ask you whet her anybody would suppose t his t o be a wedding- part y! ” Breakfast had been ordered at a pleasant lit t le t avern, a m ile or so away upon t he rising ground beyond t he Green, and t here was a bagat elle board in t he room , in case we should desire t o unbend our m inds aft er t he solem nit y. I t was pleasant t o observe t hat Mrs. Wem m ick no longer unwound Wem m ick's arm when it adapt ed it self t o her figure, but sat in a high- backed chair against t he wall, like a violoncello in it s case, and subm it t ed t o be em braced as t hat m elodious inst rum ent m ight have done. We had an excellent breakfast , and when any one declined anyt hing on t able, Wem m ick said, “ Provided by cont ract , you know; don't be afraid of it ! ” I drank t o t he new couple, drank t o t he Aged, drank t o t he Cast le, salut ed t he bride at part ing, and m ade m yself as agreeable as I could. Wem m ick cam e down t o t he door wit h m e, and I again shook hands wit h him , and wished him j oy. “ Thankee! ” said Wem m ick, rubbing his hands. “ She's such a m anager of fowls, you have no idea. You shall have som e eggs, and j udge for yourself. I say, Mr. Pip! ” calling m e back, 640

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and speaking low. “ This is alt oget her a Walwort h sent im ent , please.” “ I underst and. Not t o be m ent ioned in Lit t le Brit ain,” said I. Wem m ick nodded. “ Aft er what you let out t he ot her day, Mr. Jaggers m ay as well not know of it . He m ight t hink m y brain was soft ening, or som et hing of t he kind.”

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Chapt er 56 He lay in prison very ill, during t he whole int erval bet ween his com m it t al for t rial, and t he com ing round of t he Sessions. He had broken t wo ribs, t hey had wounded one of his lungs, and he breat hed wit h great pain and difficult y, which increased daily. I t was a consequence of his hurt , t hat he spoke so low as t o be scarcely audible; t herefore, he spoke very lit t le. But , he was ever ready t o list en t o m e, and it becam e t he first dut y of m y life t o say t o him , and read t o him , what I knew he ought t o hear. Being far t oo ill t o rem ain in t he com m on prison, he was rem oved, aft er t he first day or so, int o t he infirm ary. This gave m e opport unit ies of being wit h him t hat I could not ot herwise have had. And but for his illness he would have been put in irons, for he was regarded as a det erm ined prison- breaker, and I know not what else. Alt hough I saw him every day, it was for only a short t im e; hence, t he regularly recurring spaces of our separat ion were long enough t o record on his face any slight changes t hat occurred in his physical st at e. I do not recollect t hat I once saw any change in it for t he bet t er; he wast ed, and becam e slowly weaker and worse, day by day, from t he day when t he prison door closed upon him . The kind of subm ission or resignat ion t hat he showed, was t hat of a m an who was t ired out . I som et im es derived an im pression, from his m anner or from a whispered word or t wo which escaped him , t hat he pondered over t he quest ion 642

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whet her he m ight have been a bet t er m an under bet t er circum st ances. But , he never j ust ified him self by a hint t ending t hat way, or t ried t o bend t he past out of it s et ernal shape. I t happened on t wo or t hree occasions in m y presence, t hat his desperat e reput at ion was alluded t o by one or ot her of t he people in at t endance on him . A sm ile crossed his face t hen, and he t urned his eyes on m e wit h a t rust ful look, as if he were confident t hat I had seen som e sm all redeem ing t ouch in him , even so long ago as when I was a lit t le child. As t o all t he rest , he was hum ble and cont rit e, and I never knew him com plain. When t he Sessions cam e round, Mr. Jaggers caused an applicat ion t o be m ade for t he post ponem ent of his t rial unt il t he following Sessions. I t was obviously m ade wit h t he assurance t hat he could not live so long, and was refused. The t rial cam e on at once, and, when he was put t o t he bar, he was seat ed in a chair. No obj ect ion was m ade t o m y get t ing close t o t he dock, on t he out side of it , and holding t he hand t hat he st ret ched fort h t o m e. The t rial was very short and very clear. Such t hings as could be said for him , were said—how he had t aken t o indust rious habit s, and had t hriven lawfully and reput ably. But , not hing could unsay t he fact t hat he had ret urned, and was t here in presence of t he Judge and Jury. I t was im possible t o t ry him for t hat , and do ot herwise t han find him guilt y. At t hat t im e, it was t he cust om ( as I learnt from m y t errible experience of t hat Sessions) t o devot e a concluding 643

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day t o t he passing of Sent ences, and t o m ake a finishing effect wit h t he Sent ence of Deat h. But for t he indelible pict ure t hat m y rem em brance now holds before m e, I could scarcely believe, even as I writ e t hese words, t hat I saw t wo- andt hirt y m en and wom en put before t he Judge t o receive t hat sent ence t oget her. Forem ost am ong t he t wo- and- t hirt y, was he; seat ed, t hat he m ight get breat h enough t o keep life in him . The whole scene st art s out again in t he vivid colours of t he m om ent , down t o t he drops of April rain on t he windows of t he court , glit t ering in t he rays of April sun. Penned in t he dock, as I again st ood out side it at t he corner wit h his hand in m ine, were t he t wo- and- t hirt y m en and wom en; som e defiant , som e st ricken wit h t error, som e sobbing and weeping, som e covering t heir faces, som e st aring gloom ily about . There had been shrieks from am ong t he wom en convict s, but t hey had been st illed, a hush had succeeded. The sheriffs wit h t heir great chains and nosegays, ot her civic gewgaws and m onst ers, criers, ushers, a great gallery full of people—a large t heat rical audience—looked on, as t he t woand- t hirt y and t he Judge were solem nly confront ed. Then, t he Judge addressed t hem . Am ong t he wret ched creat ures before him whom he m ust single out for special address, was one who alm ost from his infancy had been an offender against t he laws; who, aft er repeat ed im prisonm ent s and punishm ent s, had been at lengt h sent enced t o exile for a t erm of years; and who, under circum st ances of great violence and daring had m ade his escape and been re- sent enced t o exile for life. That m iserable m an would seem for a t im e t o have becom e 644

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convinced of his errors, when far rem oved from t he scenes of his old offences, and t o have lived a peaceable and honest life. But in a fat al m om ent , yielding t o t hose propensit ies and passions, t he indulgence of which had so long rendered him a scourge t o societ y, he had quit t ed his haven of rest and repent ance, and had com e back t o t he count ry where he was proscribed. Being here present ly denounced, he had for a t im e succeeded in evading t he officers of Just ice, but being at lengt h seized while in t he act of flight , he had resist ed t hem , and had—he best knew whet her by express design, or in t he blindness of his hardihood—caused t he deat h of his denouncer, t o whom his whole career was known. The appoint ed punishm ent for his ret urn t o t he land t hat had cast him out , being Deat h, and his case being t his aggravat ed case, he m ust prepare him self t o Die. The sun was st riking in at t he great windows of t he court , t hrough t he glit t ering drops of rain upon t he glass, and it m ade a broad shaft of light bet ween t he t wo- and- t hirt y and t he Judge, linking bot h t oget her, and perhaps rem inding som e am ong t he audience, how bot h were passing on, wit h absolut e equalit y, t o t he great er Judgm ent t hat knowet h all t hings and cannot err. Rising for a m om ent , a dist inct speck of face in t his way of light , t he prisoner said, “ My Lord, I have received m y sent ence of Deat h from t he Alm ight y, but I bow t o yours,” and sat down again. There was som e hushing, and t he Judge went on wit h what he had t o say t o t he rest . Then, t hey were all form ally doom ed, and som e of t hem were support ed out , and som e of t hem saunt ered out wit h a haggard look of bravery, and a few nodded t o t he gallery, and 645

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t wo or t hree shook hands, and ot hers went out chewing t he fragm ent s of herb t hey had t aken from t he sweet herbs lying about . He went last of all, because of having t o be helped from his chair and t o go very slowly; and he held m y hand while all t he ot hers were rem oved, and while t he audience got up ( put t ing t heir dresses right , as t hey m ight at church or elsewhere) and point ed down at t his crim inal or at t hat , and m ost of all at him and m e. I earnest ly hoped and prayed t hat he m ight die before t he Recorder's Report was m ade, but , in t he dread of his lingering on, I began t hat night t o writ e out a pet it ion t o t he Hom e Secret ary of St at e, set t ing fort h m y knowledge of him , and how it was t hat he had com e back for m y sake. I wrot e it as fervent ly and pat het ically as I could, and when I had finished it and sent it in, I wrot e out ot her pet it ions t o such m en in aut horit y as I hoped were t he m ost m erciful, and drew up one t o t he Crown it self. For several days and night s aft er he was sent enced I t ook no rest except when I fell asleep in m y chair, but was wholly absorbed in t hese appeals. And aft er I had sent t hem in, I could not keep away from t he places where t hey were, but felt as if t hey were m ore hopeful and less desperat e when I was near t hem . I n t his unreasonable rest lessness and pain of m ind, I would roam t he st reet s of an evening, wandering by t hose offices and houses where I had left t he pet it ions. To t he present hour, t he weary west ern st reet s of London on a cold dust y spring night , wit h t heir ranges of st ern shut - up m ansions and t heir long rows of lam ps, are m elancholy t o m e from t his associat ion. 646

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The daily visit s I could m ake him were short ened now, and he was m ore st rict ly kept . Seeing, or fancying, t hat I was suspect ed of an int ent ion of carrying poison t o him , I asked t o be searched before I sat down at his bedside, and t old t he officer who was always t here, t hat I was willing t o do anyt hing t hat would assure him of t he singleness of m y designs. Nobody was hard wit h him , or wit h m e. There was dut y t o be done, and it was done, but not harshly. The officer always gave m e t he assurance t hat he was worse, and som e ot her sick prisoners in t he room , and som e ot her prisoners who at t ended on t hem as sick nurses ( m alefact ors, but not incapable of kindness, God be t hanked! ) , always j oined in t he sam e report . As t he days went on, I not iced m ore and m ore t hat he would lie placidly looking at t he whit e ceiling, wit h an absence of light in his face, unt il som e word of m ine bright ened it for an inst ant , and t hen it would subside again. Som et im es he was alm ost , or quit e, unable t o speak; t hen, he would answer m e wit h slight pressures on m y hand, and I grew t o underst and his m eaning very well. The num ber of t he days had risen t o t en, when I saw a great er change in him t han I had seen yet . His eyes were t urned t owards t he door, and light ed up as I ent ered. “ Dear boy,” he said, as I sat down by his bed: “ I t hought you was lat e. But I knowed you couldn't be t hat .” “ I t is j ust t he t im e,” said I . “ I wait ed for it at t he gat e.” “ You always wait s at t he gat e; don't you, dear boy?” “ Yes. Not t o lose a m om ent of t he t im e.” 647

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“ Thank'ee dear boy, t hank'ee. God bless you! You've never desert ed m e, dear boy.” I pressed his hand in silence, for I could not forget t hat I had once m eant t o desert him . “ And what 's t he best of all,” he said, “ you've been m ore com fort able alonger m e, since I was under a dark cloud, t han when t he sun shone. That 's best of all.” He lay on his back, breat hing wit h great difficult y. Do what he would, and love m e t hough he did, t he light left his face ever and again, and a film cam e over t he placid look at t he whit e ceiling. “ Are you in m uch pain t o- day?” “ I don't com plain of none, dear boy.” “ You never do com plain.” He had spoken his last words. He sm iled, and I underst ood his t ouch t o m ean t hat he wished t o lift m y hand, and lay it on his breast . I laid it t here, and he sm iled again, and put bot h his hands upon it . The allot t ed t im e ran out , while we were t hus; but , looking round, I found t he governor of t he prison st anding near m e, and he whispered, “ You needn't go yet .” I t hanked him grat efully, and asked, “ Might I speak t o him , if he can hear m e?” The governor st epped aside, and beckoned t he officer away. The change, t hough it was m ade wit hout noise, drew back t he film from t he placid look at t he whit e ceiling, and he looked m ost affect ionat ely at m e. “ Dear Magwit ch, I m ust t ell you, now at last . You underst and what I say?” 648

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A gent le pressure on m y hand. “ You had a child once, whom you loved and lost .” A st ronger pressure on m y hand. “ She lived and found powerful friends. She is living now. She is a lady and very beaut iful. And I love her! ” Wit h a last faint effort , which would have been powerless but for m y yielding t o it and assist ing it , he raised m y hand t o his lips. Then, he gent ly let it sink upon his breast again, wit h his own hands lying on it . The placid look at t he whit e ceiling cam e back, and passed away, and his head dropped quiet ly on his breast . Mindful, t hen, of what we had read t oget her, I t hought of t he t wo m en who went up int o t he Tem ple t o pray, and I knew t here were no bet t er words t hat I could say beside his bed, t han “ O Lord, be m erciful t o him , a sinner! ”

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Chapt er 57 Now t hat I was left wholly t o m yself, I gave not ice of m y int ent ion t o quit t he cham bers in t he Tem ple as soon as m y t enancy could legally det erm ine, and in t he m eanwhile t o underlet t hem . At once I put bills up in t he windows; for, I was in debt , and had scarcely any m oney, and began t o be seriously alarm ed by t he st at e of m y affairs. I ought rat her t o writ e t hat I should have been alarm ed if I had had energy and concent rat ion enough t o help m e t o t he clear percept ion of any t rut h beyond t he fact t hat I was falling very ill. The lat e st ress upon m e had enabled m e t o put off illness, but not t o put it away; I knew t hat it was com ing on m e now, and I knew very lit t le else, and was even careless as t o t hat . For a day or t wo, I lay on t he sofa, or on t he floor— anywhere, according as I happened t o sink down—wit h a heavy head and aching lim bs, and no purpose, and no power. Then t here cam e one night which appeared of great durat ion, and which t eem ed wit h anxiet y and horror; and when in t he m orning I t ried t o sit up in m y bed and t hink of it , I found I could not do so. Whet her I really had been down in Garden Court in t he dead of t he night , groping about for t he boat t hat I supposed t o be t here; whet her I had t wo or t hree t im es com e t o m yself on t he st aircase wit h great t error, not knowing how I had got out of bed; whet her I had found m yself light ing t he lam p, possessed by t he idea t hat he was com ing up t he st airs, and t hat t he light s were blown out ; whet her I had been 650

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inexpressibly harassed by t he dist ract ed t alking, laughing, and groaning, of som e one, and had half suspect ed t hose sounds t o be of m y own m aking; whet her t here had been a closed iron furnace in a dark corner of t he room , and a voice had called out over and over again t hat Miss Havisham was consum ing wit hin it ; t hese were t hings t hat I t ried t o set t le wit h m yself and get int o som e order, as I lay t hat m orning on m y bed. But , t he vapour of a lim ekiln would com e bet ween m e and t hem , disordering t hem all, and it was t hrough t he vapour at last t hat I saw t wo m en looking at m e. “ What do you want ?” I asked, st art ing; “ I don't know you.” “ Well, sir,” ret urned one of t hem , bending down and t ouching m e on t he shoulder, “ t his is a m at t er t hat you'll soon arrange, I dare say, but you're arrest ed.” “ What is t he debt ?” “ Hundred and t went y- t hree pound, fift een, six. Jeweller's account , I t hink.” “ What is t o be done?” “ You had bet t er com e t o m y house,” said t he m an. “ I keep a very nice house.” I m ade som e at t em pt t o get up and dress m yself. When I next at t ended t o t hem , t hey were st anding a lit t le off from t he bed, looking at m e. I st ill lay t here. “ You see m y st at e,” said I . “ I would com e wit h you if I could; but indeed I am quit e unable. I f you t ake m e from here, I t hink I shall die by t he way.” Perhaps t hey replied, or argued t he point , or t ried t o encourage m e t o believe t hat I was bet t er t han I t hought . Forasm uch as t hey hang in m y m em ory by only t his one 651

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slender t hread, I don't know what t hey did, except t hat t hey forbore t o rem ove m e. That I had a fever and was avoided, t hat I suffered great ly, t hat I oft en lost m y reason, t hat t he t im e seem ed int erm inable, t hat I confounded im possible exist ences wit h m y own ident it y; t hat I was a brick in t he house wall, and yet ent reat ing t o be released from t he giddy place where t he builders had set m e; t hat I was a st eel beam of a vast engine, clashing and whirling over a gulf, and yet t hat I im plored in m y own person t o have t he engine st opped, and m y part in it ham m ered off; t hat I passed t hrough t hese phases of disease, I know of m y own rem em brance, and did in som e sort know at t he t im e. That I som et im es st ruggled wit h real people, in t he belief t hat t hey were m urderers, and t hat I would all at once com prehend t hat t hey m eant t o do m e good, and would t hen sink exhaust ed in t heir arm s, and suffer t hem t o lay m e down, I also knew at t he t im e. But , above all, I knew t hat t here was a const ant t endency in all t hese people—who, when I was very ill, would present all kinds of ext raordinary t ransform at ions of t he hum an face, and would be m uch dilat ed in size—above all, I say, I knew t hat t here was an ext raordinary t endency in all t hese people, sooner or lat er t o set t le down int o t he likeness of Joe. Aft er I had t urned t he worst point of m y illness, I began t o not ice t hat while all it s ot her feat ures changed, t his one consist ent feat ure did not change. Whoever cam e about m e, st ill set t led down int o Joe. I opened m y eyes in t he night , and I saw in t he great chair at t he bedside, Joe. I opened m y eyes in t he day, and, sit t ing on t he window- seat , sm oking his pipe 652

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in t he shaded open window, st ill I saw Joe. I asked for cooling drink, and t he dear hand t hat gave it m e was Joe's. I sank back on m y pillow aft er drinking, and t he face t hat looked so hopefully and t enderly upon m e was t he face of Joe. At last , one day, I t ook courage, and said, “ I s it Joe?” And t he dear old hom e- voice answered, “ Which it air, old chap.” “ O Joe, you break m y heart ! Look angry at m e, Joe. St rike m e, Joe. Tell m e of m y ingrat it ude. Don't be so good t o m e! ” For, Joe had act ually laid his head down on t he pillow at m y side and put his arm round m y neck, in his j oy t hat I knew him . “ Which dear old Pip, old chap,” said Joe, “ you and m e was ever friends. And when you're well enough t o go out for a ride—what larks! ” Aft er which, Joe wit hdrew t o t he window, and st ood wit h his back t owards m e, wiping his eyes. And as m y ext rem e weakness prevent ed m e from get t ing up and going t o him , I lay t here, penit ent ly whispering, “ O God bless him ! O God bless t his gent le Christ ian m an! ” Joe's eyes were red when I next found him beside m e; but , I was holding his hand, and we bot h felt happy. “ How long, dear Joe?” “ Which you m eant ersay, Pip, how long have your illness last ed, dear old chap?” “ Yes, Joe.” “ I t 's t he end of May, Pip. To- m orrow is t he first of June.” “ And have you been here all t hat t im e, dear Joe?” 653

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“ Pret t y nigh, old chap. For, as I says t o Biddy when t he news of your being ill were brought by let t er, which it were brought by t he post and being form erly single he is now m arried t hough underpaid for a deal of walking and shoeleat her, but wealt h were not a obj ect on his part , and m arriage were t he great wish of his hart —” “ I t is so delight ful t o hear you, Joe! But I int errupt you in what you said t o Biddy.” “ Which it were,” said Joe, “ t hat how you m ight be am ongst st rangers, and t hat how you and m e having been ever friends, a wisit at such a m om ent m ight not prove unaccept abobble. And Biddy, her word were, ‘Go t o him , wit hout loss of t im e.’ That ,” said Joe, sum m ing up wit h his j udicial air, “ were t he word of Biddy. ‘Go t o him ,’ Biddy say, ‘wit hout loss of t im e.’ I n short , I shouldn't great ly deceive you,” Joe added, aft er a lit t le grave reflect ion, “ if I represent ed t o you t hat t he word of t hat young wom an were, ‘wit hout a m inut e's loss of t im e.'” There Joe cut him self short , and inform ed m e t hat I was t o be t alked t o in great m oderat ion, and t hat I was t o t ake a lit t le nourishm ent at st at ed frequent t im es, whet her I felt inclined for it or not , and t hat I was t o subm it m yself t o all his orders. So, I kissed his hand, and lay quiet , while he proceeded t o indit e a not e t o Biddy, wit h m y love in it . Evident ly, Biddy had t aught Joe t o writ e. As I lay in bed looking at him , it m ade m e, in m y weak st at e, cry again wit h pleasure t o see t he pride wit h which he set about his let t er. My bedst ead, divest ed of it s curt ains, had been rem oved, wit h m e upon it , int o t he sit t ingroom , as t he airiest and largest , 654

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and t he carpet had been t aken away, and t he room kept always fresh and wholesom e night and day. At m y own writ ing- t able, pushed int o a corner and cum bered wit h lit t le bot t les, Joe now sat down t o his great work, first choosing a pen from t he pen- t ray as if it were a chest of large t ools, and t ucking up his sleeves as if he were going t o wield a crowbar or sledgeham m er. I t was necessary for Joe t o hold on heavily t o t he t able wit h his left elbow, and t o get his right leg well out behind him , before he could begin, and when he did begin, he m ade every down- st roke so slowly t hat it m ight have been six feet long, while at every up- st roke I could hear his pen splut t ering ext ensively. He had a curious idea t hat t he inkst and was on t he side of him where it was not , and const ant ly dipped his pen int o space, and seem ed quit e sat isfied wit h t he result . Occasionally, he was t ripped up by som e ort hographical st um bling- block, but on t he whole he got on very well indeed, and when he had signed his nam e, and had rem oved a finishing blot from t he paper t o t he crown of his head wit h his t wo forefingers, he got up and hovered about t he t able, t rying t he effect of his perform ance from various point s of view as it lay t here, wit h unbounded sat isfact ion. Not t o m ake Joe uneasy by t alking t oo m uch, even if I had been able t o t alk m uch, I deferred asking him about Miss Havisham unt il next day. He shook his head when I t hen asked him if she had recovered. “ I s she dead, Joe?” “ Why you see, old chap,” said Joe, in a t one of rem onst rance, and by way of get t ing at it by degrees, “ I 655

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wouldn't go so far as t o say t hat , for t hat 's a deal t o say; but she ain't —” “ Living, Joe?” “ That 's nigher where it is,” said Joe; “ she ain't living.” “ Did she linger long, Joe?” “ Art er you was t ook ill, pret t y m uch about what you m ight call ( if you was put t o it ) a week,” said Joe; st ill det erm ined, on m y account , t o com e at everyt hing by degrees. “ Dear Joe, have you heard what becom es of her propert y?” “ Well, old chap,” said Joe, “ it do appear t hat she had set t led t he m ost of it , which I m eant ersay t ied it up, on Miss Est ella. But she had wrot e out a lit t le coddleshell in her own hand a day or t wo afore t he accident , leaving a cool four t housand t o Mr. Mat t hew Pocket . And why, do you suppose, above all t hings, Pip, she left t hat cool four t housand unt o him ? ‘Because of Pip's account of him t he said Mat t hew.’ I am t old by Biddy, t hat air t he writ ing,” said Joe, repeat ing t he legal t urn as if it did him infinit e good, ‘account of him t he said Mat t hew.’ And a cool four t housand, Pip! ” I never discovered from whom Joe derived t he convent ional t em perat ure of t he four t housand pounds, but it appeared t o m ake t he sum of m oney m ore t o him , and he had a m anifest relish in insist ing on it s being cool. This account gave m e great j oy, as it perfect ed t he only good t hing I had done. I asked Joe whet her he had heard if any of t he ot her relat ions had any legacies? “ Miss Sarah,” said Joe, “ she have t went y- five pound perannium fur t o buy pills, on account of being bilious. Miss 656

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Georgiana, she have t went y pound down. Mrs.—what 's t he nam e of t hem wild beast s wit h hum ps, old chap?” “ Cam els?” said I , wondering why he could possibly want t o know. Joe nodded. “ Mrs. Cam els,” by which I present ly underst ood he m eant Cam illa, “ she have five pound fur t o buy rushlight s t o put her in spirit s when she wake up in t he night .” The accuracy of t hese recit als was sufficient ly obvious t o m e, t o give m e great confidence in Joe's inform at ion. “ And now,” said Joe, “ you ain't t hat st rong yet , old chap, t hat you can t ake in m ore nor one addit ional shovel- full t o- day. Old Orlick he's been a bust in'open a dwelling- ouse.” “ Whose?” said I . “ Not , I grant , you, but what his m anners is given t o blust erous,” said Joe, apologet ically; “ st ill, a Englishm an's ouse is his Cast le, and cast les m ust not be bust ed ‘cept when done in war t im e. And wot sum e'er t he failings on his part , he were a corn and seedsm an in his hart .” “ I s it Pum blechook's house t hat has been broken int o, t hen?” “ That 's it , Pip,” said Joe; “ and t hey t ook his t ill, and t hey t ook his cash- box, and t hey drinked his wine, and t hey part ook of his wit t les, and t hey slapped his face, and t hey pulled his nose, and t hey t ied him up t o his bedpust , and t hey giv’ him a dozen, and t hey st uffed his m out h full of flowering annuals t o prewent his crying out . But he knowed Orlick, and Orlick's in t he count y j ail.” 657

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By t hese approaches we arrived at unrest rict ed conversat ion. I was slow t o gain st rengt h, but I did slowly and surely becom e less weak, and Joe st ayed wit h m e, and I fancied I was lit t le Pip again. For, t he t enderness of Joe was so beaut ifully proport ioned t o m y need, t hat I was like a child in his hands. He would sit and t alk t o m e in t he old confidence, and wit h t he old sim plicit y, and in t he old unassert ive prot ect ing way, so t hat I would half believe t hat all m y life since t he days of t he old kit chen was one of t he m ent al t roubles of t he fever t hat was gone. He did everyt hing for m e except t he household work, for which he had engaged a very decent wom an, aft er paying off t he laundress on his first arrival. “ Which I do assure you, Pip,” he would oft en say, in explanat ion of t hat libert y; “ I found her a t apping t he spare bed, like a cask of beer, and drawing off t he feat hers in a bucket , for sale. Which she would have t apped yourn next , and draw'd it off wit h you a laying on it , and was t hen a carrying away t he coals gradiwally in t he soupt ureen and weget able- dishes, and t he wine and spirit s in your Wellingt on boot s.” We looked forward t o t he day when I should go out for a ride, as we had once looked forward t o t he day of m y apprent iceship. And when t he day cam e, and an open carriage was got int o t he Lane, Joe wrapped m e up, t ook m e in his arm s, carried m e down t o it , and put m e in, as if I were st ill t he sm all helpless creat ure t o whom he had so abundant ly given of t he wealt h of his great nat ure. And Joe got in beside m e, and we drove away t oget her int o t he count ry, where t he rich sum m er growt h was already 658

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on t he t rees and on t he grass, and sweet sum m er scent s filled all t he air. The day happened t o be Sunday, and when I looked on t he loveliness around m e, and t hought how it had grown and changed, and how t he lit t le wild flowers had been form ing, and t he voices of t he birds had been st rengt hening, by day and by night , under t he sun and under t he st ars, while poor I lay burning and t ossing on m y bed, t he m ere rem em brance of having burned and t ossed t here, cam e like a check upon m y peace. But , when I heard t he Sunday bells, and looked around a lit t le m ore upon t he out spread beaut y, I felt t hat I was not nearly t hankful enough—t hat I was t oo weak yet , t o be even t hat —and I laid m y head on Joe's shoulder, as I had laid it long ago when he had t aken m e t o t he Fair or where not , and it was t oo m uch for m y young senses. More com posure cam e t o m e aft er a while, and we t alked as we used t o t alk, lying on t he grass at t he old Bat t ery. There was no change what ever in Joe. Exact ly what he had been in m y eyes t hen, he was in m y eyes st ill; j ust as sim ply fait hful, and as sim ply right . When we got back again and he lift ed m e out , and carried m e—so easily—across t he court and up t he st airs, I t hought of t hat event ful Christ m as Day when he had carried m e over t he m arshes. We had not yet m ade any allusion t o m y change of fort une, nor did I know how m uch of m y lat e hist ory he was acquaint ed wit h. I was so doubt ful of m yself now, and put so m uch t rust in him , t hat I could not sat isfy m yself whet her I ought t o refer t o it when he did not . 659

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“ Have you heard, Joe,” I asked him t hat evening, upon furt her considerat ion, as he sm oked his pipe at t he window, “ who m y pat ron was?” “ I heerd,” ret urned Joe, “ as it were not Miss Havisham , old chap.” “ Did you hear who it was, Joe?” “ Well! I heerd as it were a person what sent t he person what giv'you t he bank- not es at t he Jolly Bargem en, Pip.” “ So it was.” “ Ast onishing! ” said Joe, in t he placidest way. “ Did you hear t hat he was dead, Joe?” I present ly asked, wit h increasing diffidence. “ Which? Him as sent t he bank- not es, Pip?” “ Yes.” “ I t hink,” said Joe, aft er m edit at ing a long t im e, and looking rat her evasively at t he window- seat , “ as I did hear t ell t hat how he were som et hing or anot her in a general way in t hat direct ion.” “ Did you hear anyt hing of his circum st ances, Joe?” “ Not part ickler, Pip.” “ I f you would like t o hear, Joe—” I was beginning, when Joe got up and cam e t o m y sofa. “ Lookee here, old chap,” said Joe, bending over m e. “ Ever t he best of friends; ain't us, Pip?” I was asham ed t o answer him . “ Wery good, t hen,” said Joe, as if I had answered; “ t hat 's all right , t hat 's agreed upon. Then why go int o subj ect s, old chap, which as bet wixt t wo sech m ust be for ever onnecessary? There's subj ect s enough as bet wixt t wo sech, 660

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wit hout onnecessary ones. Lord! To t hink of your poor sist er and her Ram pages! And don't you rem em ber Tickler?” “ I do indeed, Joe.” “ Lookee here, old chap,” said Joe. “ I done what I could t o keep you and Tickler in sunders, but m y power were not always fully equal t o m y inclinat ions. For when your poor sist er had a m ind t o drop int o you, it were not so m uch,” said Joe, in his favourit e argum ent at ive way, “ t hat she dropped int o m e t oo, if I put m yself in opposit ion t o her but t hat she dropped int o you always heavier for it . I not iced t hat . I t ain't a grab at a m an's whisker, not yet a shake or t wo of a m an ( t o which your sist er was quit e welcom e) , t hat ‘ud put a m an off from get t ing a lit t le child out of punishm ent . But when t hat lit t le child is dropped int o, heavier, for t hat grab of whisker or shaking, t hen t hat m an nat erally up and says t o him self, ‘Where is t he good as you are a- doing? I grant you I see t he ‘arm ,’ says t he m an, ‘but I don't see t he good. I call upon you, sir, t herefore, t o pint out t he good.'” “ The m an says?” I observed, as Joe wait ed for m e t o speak. “ The m an says,” Joe assent ed. “ I s he right , t hat m an?” “ Dear Joe, he is always right .” “ Well, old chap,” said Joe, “ t hen abide by your words. I f he's always right ( which in general he's m ore likely wrong) , he's right when he says t his: —Supposing ever you kep any lit t le m at t er t o yourself, when you was a lit t le child, you kep it m ost ly because you know'd as J. Gargery's power t o part you and Tickler in sunders, were not fully equal t o his inclinat ions. Therefore, t hink no m ore of it as bet wixt t wo sech, and do not 661

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let us pass rem arks upon onnecessary subj ect s. Biddy giv’ herself a deal o’ t rouble wit h m e afore I left ( for I am alm ost awful dull) , as I should view it in t his light , and, viewing it in t his light , as I should so put it . Bot h of which,” said Joe, quit e charm ed wit h his logical arrangem ent , “ being done, now t his t o you a t rue friend, say. Nam ely. You m ust n't go a- overdoing on it , but you m ust have your supper and your wineand- wat er, and you m ust be put bet wixt t he sheet s.” The delicacy wit h which Joe dism issed t his t hem e, and t he sweet t act and kindness wit h which Biddy—who wit h her wom an's wit had found m e out so soon—had prepared him for it , m ade a deep im pression on m y m ind. But whet her Joe knew how poor I was, and how m y great expect at ions had all dissolved, like our own m arsh m ist s before t he sun, I could not underst and. Anot her t hing in Joe t hat I could not underst and when it first began t o develop it self, but which I soon arrived at a sorrowful com prehension of, was t his: As I becam e st ronger and bet t er, Joe becam e a lit t le less easy wit h m e. I n m y weakness and ent ire dependence on him , t he dear fellow had fallen int o t he old t one, and called m e by t he old nam es, t he dear “ old Pip, old chap,” t hat now were m usic in m y ears. I t oo had fallen int o t he old ways, only happy and t hankful t hat he let m e. But , im percept ibly, t hough I held by t hem fast , Joe's hold upon t hem began t o slacken; and whereas I wondered at t his, at first , I soon began t o underst and t hat t he cause of it was in m e, and t hat t he fault of it was all m ine. Ah! Had I given Joe no reason t o doubt m y const ancy, and t o t hink t hat in prosperit y I should grow cold t o him and cast 662

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him off? Had I given Joe's innocent heart no cause t o feel inst inct ively t hat as I got st ronger, his hold upon m e would be weaker, and t hat he had bet t er loosen it in t im e and let m e go, before I plucked m yself away? I t was on t he t hird or fourt h occasion of m y going out walking in t he Tem ple Gardens leaning on Joe's arm , t hat I saw t his change in him very plainly. We had been sit t ing in t he bright warm sunlight , looking at t he river, and I chanced t o say as we got up: “ See, Joe! I can walk quit e st rongly. Now, you shall see m e walk back by m yself.” “ Which do not over- do it , Pip,” said Joe; “ but I shall be happy fur t o see you able, sir.” The last word grat ed on m e; but how could I rem onst rat e! I walked no furt her t han t he gat e of t he gardens, and t hen pret ended t o be weaker t han I was, and asked Joe for his arm . Joe gave it m e, but was t hought ful. I , for m y part , was t hought ful t oo; for, how best t o check t his growing change in Joe, was a great perplexit y t o m y rem orseful t hought s. That I was asham ed t o t ell him exact ly how I was placed, and what I had com e down t o, I do not seek t o conceal; but , I hope m y reluct ance was not quit e an unwort hy one. He would want t o help m e out of his lit t le savings, I knew, and I knew t hat he ought not t o help m e, and t hat I m ust not suffer him t o do it . I t was a t hought ful evening wit h bot h of us. But , before we went t o bed, I had resolved t hat I would wait over t o- m orrow, t o- m orrow being Sunday, and would begin m y new course wit h t he new week. On Monday m orning I would speak t o Joe 663

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about t his change, I would lay aside t his last vest ige of reserve, I would t ell him what I had in m y t hought s ( t hat Secondly, not yet arrived at ) , and why I had not decided t o go out t o Herbert , and t hen t he change would be conquered for ever. As I cleared, Joe cleared, and it seem ed as t hough he had sym pat het ically arrived at a resolut ion t oo. We had a quiet day on t he Sunday, and we rode out int o t he count ry, and t hen walked in t he fields. “ I feel t hankful t hat I have been ill, Joe,” I said. “ Dear old Pip, old chap, you're a'm ost com e round, sir.” “ I t has been a m em orable t im e for m e, Joe.” “ Likeways for m yself, sir,” Joe ret urned. “ We have had a t im e t oget her, Joe, t hat I can never forget . There were days once, I know, t hat I did for a while forget ; but I never shall forget t hese.” “ Pip,” said Joe, appearing a lit t le hurried and t roubled, “ t here has been larks, And, dear sir, what have been bet wixt us—have been.” At night , when I had gone t o bed, Joe cam e int o m y room , as he had done all t hrough m y recovery. He asked m e if I felt sure t hat I was as well as in t he m orning? “ Yes, dear Joe, quit e.” “ And are always a- get t ing st ronger, old chap?” “ Yes, dear Joe, st eadily.” Joe pat t ed t he coverlet on m y shoulder wit h his great good hand, and said, in what I t hought a husky voice, “ Good night ! ” When I got up in t he m orning, refreshed and st ronger yet , I was full of m y resolut ion t o t ell Joe all, wit hout delay. I 664

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would t ell him before breakfast . I would dress at once and go t o his room and surprise him ; for, it was t he first day I had been up early. I went t o his room , and he was not t here. Not only was he not t here, but his box was gone. I hurried t hen t o t he breakfast - t able, and on it found a let t er. These were it s brief cont ent s. “ Not wishful t o int rude I have depart ured fur you are well again dear Pip and will do bet t er wit hout JO. “ P.S. Ever t he best of friends.” Enclosed in t he let t er, was a receipt for t he debt and cost s on which I had been arrest ed. Down t o t hat m om ent I had vainly supposed t hat m y credit or had wit hdrawn or suspended proceedings unt il I should be quit e recovered. I had never dream ed of Joe's having paid t he m oney; but , Joe had paid it , and t he receipt was in his nam e. What rem ained for m e now, but t o follow him t o t he dear old forge, and t here t o have out m y disclosure t o him , and m y penit ent rem onst rance wit h him , and t here t o relieve m y m ind and heart of t hat reserved Secondly, which had begun as a vague som et hing lingering in m y t hought s, and had form ed int o a set t led purpose? The purpose was, t hat I would go t o Biddy, t hat I would show her how hum bled and repent ant I cam e back, t hat I would t ell her how I had lost all I once hoped for, t hat I would rem ind her of our old confidences in m y first unhappy t im e. Then, I would say t o her, “ Biddy, I t hink you once liked m e very well, when m y errant heart , even while it st rayed away from you, was quiet er and bet t er wit h you t han it ever has been since. I f you can like m e only half as well once m ore, if 665

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you can t ake m e wit h all m y fault s and disappoint m ent s on m y head, if you can receive m e like a forgiven child ( and indeed I am as sorry, Biddy, and have as m uch need of a hushing voice and a soot hing hand) , I hope I am a lit t le wort hier of you t hat I was—not m uch, but a lit t le. And, Biddy, it shall rest wit h you t o say whet her I shall work at t he forge wit h Joe, or whet her I shall t ry for any different occupat ion down in t his count ry, or whet her we shall go away t o a dist ant place where an opport unit y await s m e, which I set aside when it was offered, unt il I knew your answer. And now, dear Biddy, if you can t ell m e t hat you will go t hrough t he world wit h m e, you will surely m ake it a bet t er world for m e, and m e a bet t er m an for it , and I will t ry hard t o m ake it a bet t er world for you.” Such was m y purpose. Aft er t hree days m ore of recovery, I went down t o t he old place, t o put it in execut ion; and how I sped in it , is all I have left t o t ell.

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Chapt er 58 The t idings of m y high fort unes having had a heavy fall, had got down t o m y nat ive place and it s neighbourhood, before I got t here. I found t he Blue Boar in possession of t he int elligence, and I found t hat it m ade a great change in t he Boar's dem eanour. Whereas t he Boar had cult ivat ed m y good opinion wit h warm assiduit y when I was com ing int o propert y, t he Boar was exceedingly cool on t he subj ect now t hat I was going out of propert y. I t was evening when I arrived, m uch fat igued by t he j ourney I had so oft en m ade so easily. The Boar could not put m e int o m y usual bedroom , which was engaged ( probably by som e one who had expect at ions) , and could only assign m e a very indifferent cham ber am ong t he pigeons and post - chaises up t he yard. But , I had as sound a sleep in t hat lodging as in t he m ost superior accom m odat ion t he Boar could have given m e, and t he qualit y of m y dream s was about t he sam e as in t he best bedroom . Early in t he m orning while m y breakfast was get t ing ready, I st rolled round by Sat is House. There were print ed bills on t he gat e, and on bit s of carpet hanging out of t he windows, announcing a sale by auct ion of t he Household Furnit ure and Effect s, next week. The House it self was t o be sold as old building m at erials and pulled down. LOT 1 was m arked in whit ewashed knock- knee let t ers on t he brew house; LOT 2 on t hat part of t he m ain building which had been so long shut up. Ot her lot s were m arked off on ot her part s of t he 667

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st ruct ure, and t he ivy had been t orn down t o m ake room for t he inscript ions, and m uch of it t railed low in t he dust and was wit hered already. St epping in for a m om ent at t he open gat e and looking around m e wit h t he uncom fort able air of a st ranger who had no business t here, I saw t he auct ioneer's clerk walking on t he casks and t elling t hem off for t he inform at ion of a cat alogue com piler, pen in hand, who m ade a t em porary desk of t he wheeled chair I had so oft en pushed along t o t he t une of Old Clem . When I got back t o m y breakfast in t he Boar's coffeeroom , I found Mr. Pum blechook conversing wit h t he landlord. Mr. Pum blechook ( not im proved in appearance by his lat e noct urnal advent ure) was wait ing for m e, and addressed m e in t he following t erm s. “ Young m an, I am sorry t o see you brought low. But what else could be expect ed! What else could be expect ed! ” As he ext ended his hand wit h a m agnificent ly forgiving air, and as I was broken by illness and unfit t o quarrel, I t ook it . “ William ,” said Mr. Pum blechook t o t he wait er, “ put a m uffin on t able. And has it com e t o t his! Has it com e t o t his! ” I frowningly sat down t o m y breakfast . Mr. Pum blechook st ood over m e and poured out m y t ea—before I could t ouch t he t eapot —wit h t he air of a benefact or who was resolved t o be t rue t o t he last . “ William ,” said Mr. Pum blechook, m ournfully, “ put t he salt on. I n happier t im es,” addressing m e, “ I t hink you t ook sugar. And did you t ake m ilk? You did. Sugar and m ilk. William , bring a wat ercress.” “ Thank you,” said I , short ly, “ but I don't eat wat ercresses.” 668

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“ You don't eat ‘em ,” ret urned Mr. Pum blechook, sighing and nodding his head several t im es, as if he m ight have expect ed t hat , and as if abst inence from wat ercresses were consist ent wit h m y downfall. “ True. The sim ple fruit s of t he eart h. No. You needn't bring any, William .” I went on wit h m y breakfast , and Mr. Pum blechook cont inued t o st and over m e, st aring fishily and breat hing noisily, as he always did. “ Lit t le m ore t han skin and bone! ” m used Mr. Pum blechook, aloud. “ And yet when he went from here ( I m ay say wit h m y blessing) , and I spread afore him m y hum ble st ore, like t he Bee, he was as plum p as a Peach! ” This rem inded m e of t he wonderful difference bet ween t he servile m anner in which he had offered his hand in m y new prosperit y, saying, “ May I ?” and t he ost ent at ious clem ency wit h which he had j ust now exhibit ed t he sam e fat five fingers. “ Hah! ” he went on, handing m e t he bread- and- but t er. “ And air you a- going t o Joseph?” “ I n heaven's nam e,” said I , firing in spit e of m yself, “ what does it m at t er t o you where I am going? Leave t hat t eapot alone.” I t was t he worst course I could have t aken, because it gave Pum blechook t he opport unit y he want ed. “ Yes, young m an,” said he, releasing t he handle of t he art icle in quest ion, ret iring a st ep or t wo from m y t able, and speaking for t he behoof of t he landlord and wait er at t he door, “ I will leave t hat t eapot alone. You are right , young m an. For once, you are right . I forgit m yself when I t ake such 669

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an int erest in your breakfast , as t o wish your fram e, exhaust ed by t he debilit at ing effect s of prodigygalit y, t o be st im ilat ed by t he ‘olesom e nourishm ent of your forefat hers. And yet ,” said Pum blechook, t urning t o t he landlord and wait er, and point ing m e out at arm 's lengt h, “ t his is him as I ever sport ed wit h in his days of happy infancy! Tell m e not it cannot be; I t ell you t his is him ! ” A low m urm ur from t he t wo replied. The wait er appeared t o be part icularly affect ed. “ This is him ,” said Pum blechook, “ as I have rode in m y shaycart . This is him as I have seen brought up by hand. This is him unt oe t he sist er of which I was uncle by m arriage, as her nam e was Georgiana M'ria from her own m ot her, let him deny it if he can! ” The wait er seem ed convinced t hat I could not deny it , and t hat it gave t he case a black look. “ Young m an,” said Pum blechook, screwing his head at m e in t he old fashion, “ you air a- going t o Joseph. What does it m at t er t o m e, you ask m e, where you air a- going? I say t o you, Sir, you air a- going t o Joseph.” The wait er coughed, as if he m odest ly invit ed m e t o get over t hat . “ Now,” said Pum blechook, and all t his wit h a m ost exasperat ing air of saying in t he cause of virt ue what was perfect ly convincing and conclusive, “ I will t ell you what t o say t o Joseph. Here is Squires of t he Boar present , known and respect ed in t his t own, and here is William , which his fat her's nam e was Pot kins if I do not deceive m yself.” “ You do not , sir,” said William . 670

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“ I n t heir presence,” pursued Pum blechook, “ I will t ell you, young m an, what t o say t o Joseph. Says you, “ Joseph, I have t his day seen m y earliest benefact or and t he founder of m y fort un's. I will nam e no nam es, Joseph, but so t hey are pleased t o call him up- t own, and I have seen t hat m an.” “ I swear I don't see him here,” said I . “ Say t hat likewise,” ret ort ed Pum blechook. “ Say you said t hat , and even Joseph will probably bet ray surprise.” “ There you quit e m ist ake him ,” said I . “ I know bet t er.” “ Says you,” Pum blechook went on, “ ‘Joseph, I have seen t hat m an, and t hat m an bears you no m alice and bears m e no m alice. He knows your charact er, Joseph, and is well acquaint ed wit h your pig- headedness and ignorance; and he knows m y charact er, Joseph, and he knows m y want of grat it oode. Yes, Joseph,’ says you,” here Pum blechook shook his head and hand at m e, “ ‘he knows m y t ot al deficiency of com m on hum an grat it oode. He knows it , Joseph, as none can. You do not know it , Joseph, having no call t o know it , but t hat m an do.'” Windy donkey as he was, it really am azed m e t hat he could have t he face t o t alk t hus t o m ine. “ Says you, ‘Joseph, he gave m e a lit t le m essage, which I will now repeat . I t was, t hat in m y being brought low, he saw t he finger of Providence. He knowed t hat finger when he saw it , Joseph, and he saw it plain. I t pint ed out t his writ ing, Joseph. Reward of ingrat it oode t o his earliest benefact or, and founder of fort un's. But t hat m an said he did not repent of what he had done, Joseph. Not at all. I t was right t o do it , it 671

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was kind t o do it , it was benevolent t o do it , and he would do it again.'” “ I t 's pit y,” said I , scornfully, as I finished m y int errupt ed breakfast , “ t hat t he m an did not say what he had done and would do again.” “ Squires of t he Boar! ” Pum blechook was now addressing t he landlord, “ and William ! I have no obj ect ions t o your m ent ioning, eit her up- t own or down- t own, if such should be your wishes, t hat it was right t o do it , kind t o do it , benevolent t o do it , and t hat I would do it again.” Wit h t hose words t he I m post or shook t hem bot h by t he hand, wit h an air, and left t he house; leaving m e m uch m ore ast onished t han delight ed by t he virt ues of t hat sam e indefinit e “ it .” “ I was not long aft er him in leaving t he house t oo, and when I went down t he High- st reet I saw him holding fort h ( no doubt t o t he sam e effect ) at his shop door t o a select group, who honoured m e wit h very unfavourable glances as I passed on t he opposit e side of t he way. But , it was only t he pleasant er t o t urn t o Biddy and t o Joe, whose great forbearance shone m ore bright ly t han before, if t hat could be, cont rast ed wit h t his brazen pret ender. I went t owards t hem slowly, for m y lim bs were weak, but wit h a sense of increasing relief as I drew nearer t o t hem , and a sense of leaving arrogance and unt rut hfulness furt her and furt her behind. The June weat her was delicious. The sky was blue, t he larks were soaring high over t he green corn, I t hought all t hat count ry- side m ore beaut iful and peaceful by far t han I had ever known it t o be yet . Many pleasant pict ures of t he life 672

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t hat I would lead t here, and of t he change for t he bet t er t hat would com e over m y charact er when I had a guiding spirit at m y side whose sim ple fait h and clear hom e- wisdom I had proved, beguiled m y way. They awakened a t ender em ot ion in m e; for, m y heart was soft ened by m y ret urn, and such a change had com e t o pass, t hat I felt like one who was t oiling hom e barefoot from dist ant t ravel, and whose wanderings had last ed m any years. The schoolhouse where Biddy was m ist ress, I had never seen; but , t he lit t le roundabout lane by which I ent ered t he village for quiet ness’ sake, t ook m e past it . I was disappoint ed t o find t hat t he day was a holiday; no children were t here, and Biddy's house was closed. Som e hopeful not ion of seeing her busily engaged in her daily dut ies, before she saw m e, had been in m y m ind and was defeat ed. But , t he forge was a very short dist ance off, and I went t owards it under t he sweet green lim es, list ening for t he clink of Joe's ham m er. Long aft er I ought t o have heard it , and long aft er I had fancied I heard it and found it but a fancy, all was st ill. The lim es were t here, and t he whit e t horns were t here, and t he chest nut - t rees were t here, and t heir leaves rust led harm oniously when I st opped t o list en; but , t he clink of Joe's ham m er was not in t he m idsum m er wind. Alm ost fearing, wit hout knowing why, t o com e in view of t he forge, I saw it at last , and saw t hat it was closed. No gleam of fire, no glit t ering shower of sparks, no roar of bellows; all shut up, and st ill. But , t he house was not desert ed, and t he best parlour seem ed t o be in use, for t here were whit e curt ains flut t ering 673

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in it s window, and t he window was open and gay wit h flowers. I went soft ly t owards it , m eaning t o peep over t he flowers, when Joe and Biddy st ood before m e, arm in arm . At first Biddy gave a cry, as if she t hought it was m y apparit ion, but in anot her m om ent she was in m y em brace. I wept t o see her, and she wept t o see m e; I , because she looked so fresh and pleasant ; she, because I looked so worn and whit e. “ But dear Biddy, how sm art you are! ” “ Yes, dear Pip.” “ And Joe, how sm art you are! ” “ Yes, dear old Pip, old chap.” I looked at bot h of t hem , from one t o t he ot her, and t hen— “ I t 's m y wedding- day,” cried Biddy, in a burst of happiness, “ and I am m arried t o Joe! ” They had t aken m e int o t he kit chen, and I had laid m y head down on t he old deal t able. Biddy held one of m y hands t o her lips, and Joe's rest oring t ouch was on m y shoulder. “ Which he warn't st rong enough, m y dear, fur t o be surprised,” said Joe. And Biddy said, “ I ought t o have t hought of it , dear Joe, but I was t oo happy.” They were bot h so overj oyed t o see m e, so proud t o see m e, so t ouched by m y com ing t o t hem , so delight ed t hat I should have com e by accident t o m ake t heir day com plet e! My first t hought was one of great t hankfulness t hat I had never breat hed t his last baffled hope t o Joe. How oft en, while he was wit h m e in m y illness, had it risen t o m y lips. How 674

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irrevocable would have been his knowledge of it , if he had rem ained wit h m e but anot her hour! “ Dear Biddy,” said I , “ you have t he best husband in t he whole world, and if you could have seen him by m y bed you would have—But no, you couldn't love him bet t er t han you do.” “ No, I couldn't indeed,” said Biddy. “ And, dear Joe, you have t he best wife in t he whole world, and she will m ake you as happy as even you deserve t o be, you dear, good, noble Joe! ” Joe looked at m e wit h a quivering lip, and fairly put his sleeve before his eyes. “ And Joe and Biddy bot h, as you have been t o church t oday, and are in charit y and love wit h all m ankind, receive m y hum ble t hanks for all you have done for m e and all I have so ill repaid! And when I say t hat I am going away wit hin t he hour, for I am soon going abroad, and t hat I shall never rest unt il I have worked for t he m oney wit h which you have kept m e out of prison, and have sent it t o you, don't t hink, dear Joe and Biddy, t hat if I could repay it a t housand t im es over, I suppose I could cancel a fart hing of t he debt I owe you, or t hat I would do so if I could! ” They were bot h m elt ed by t hese words, and bot h ent reat ed m e t o say no m ore. “ But I m ust say m ore. Dear Joe, I hope you will have children t o love, and t hat som e lit t le fellow will sit in t his chim ney corner of a wint er night , who m ay rem ind you of anot her lit t le fellow gone out of it for ever. Don't t ell him , Joe, t hat I was t hankless; don't t ell him , Biddy, t hat I was 675

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ungenerous and unj ust ; only t ell him t hat I honoured you bot h, because you were bot h so good and t rue, and t hat , as your child, I said it would be nat ural t o him t o grow up a m uch bet t er m an t han I did.” “ I ain't a- going,” said Joe, from behind his sleeve, “ t o t ell him not hink o’ t hat nat ur, Pip. Nor Biddy ain't . Nor yet no one ain't .” “ And now, t hough I know you have already done it in your own kind heart s, pray t ell m e, bot h, t hat you forgive m e! Pray let m e hear you say t he words, t hat I m ay carry t he sound of t hem away wit h m e, and t hen I shall be able t o believe t hat you can t rust m e, and t hink bet t er of m e, in t he t im e t o com e! ” “ O dear old Pip, old chap,” said Joe. “ God knows as I forgive you, if I have anyt hink t o forgive! ” “ Am en! And God knows I do! ” echoed Biddy. Now let m e go up and look at m y old lit t le room , and rest t here a few m inut es by m yself, and t hen when I have eat en and drunk wit h you, go wit h m e as far as t he finger- post , dear Joe and Biddy, before we say good- bye! ” I sold all I had, and put aside as m uch as I could, for a com posit ion wit h m y credit ors—who gave m e am ple t im e t o pay t hem in full—and I went out and j oined Herbert . Wit hin a m ont h, I had quit t ed England, and wit hin t wo m ont hs I was clerk t o Clarriker and Co., and wit hin four m ont hs I assum ed m y first undivided responsibilit y. For, t he beam across t he parlour ceiling at Mill Pond Bank, had t hen ceased t o t rem ble under old Bill Barley's growls and was at peace, and Herbert 676

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had gone away t o m arry Clara, and I was left in sole charge of t he East ern Branch unt il he brought her back. Many a year went round, before I was a part ner in t he House; but , I lived happily wit h Herbert and his wife, and lived frugally, and paid m y debt s, and m aint ained a const ant correspondence wit h Biddy and Joe. I t was not unt il I becam e t hird in t he Firm , t hat Clarriker bet rayed m e t o Herbert ; but , he t hen declared t hat t he secret of Herbert 's part nership had been long enough upon his conscience, and he m ust t ell it . So, he t old it , and Herbert was as m uch m oved as am azed, and t he dear fellow and I were not t he worse friends for t he long concealm ent . I m ust not leave it t o be supposed t hat we were ever a great house, or t hat we m ade m int s of m oney. We were not in a grand way of business, but we had a good nam e, and worked for our profit s, and did very well. We owed so m uch t o Herbert 's ever cheerful indust ry and readiness, t hat I oft en wondered how I had conceived t hat old idea of his inapt it ude, unt il I was one day enlight ened by t he reflect ion, t hat perhaps t he inapt it ude had never been in him at all, but had been in m e.

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Chapt er 59 For eleven years, I had not seen Joe nor Biddy wit h m y bodily eyes- t hough t hey had bot h been oft en before m y fancy in t he East - when, upon an evening in Decem ber, an hour or t wo aft er dark, I laid m y hand soft ly on t he lat ch of t he old kit chen door. I t ouched it so soft ly t hat I was not heard, and looked in unseen. There, sm oking his pipe in t he old place by t he kit chen firelight , as hale and as st rong as ever t hough a lit t le grey, sat Joe; and t here, fenced int o t he corner wit h Joe's leg, and sit t ing on m y own lit t le st ool looking at t he fire, was—I again! “ We giv’ him t he nam e of Pip for your sake, dear old chap,” said Joe, delight ed when I t ook anot her st ool by t he child's side ( but I did not rum ple his hair) , “ and we hoped he m ight grow a lit t le bit like you, and we t hink he do.” I t hought so t oo, and I t ook him out for a walk next m orning, and we t alked im m ensely, underst anding one anot her t o perfect ion. And I t ook him down t o t he churchyard, and set him on a cert ain t om bst one t here, and he showed m e from t hat elevat ion which st one was sacred t o t he m em ory of Philip Pirrip, lat e of t his Parish, and Also Georgiana, Wife of t he Above. “ Biddy,” said I , when I t alked wit h her aft er dinner, as her lit t le girl lay sleeping in her lap, “ you m ust give Pip t o m e, one of t hese days; or lend him , at all event s.” “ No, no,” said Biddy, gent ly. “ You m ust m arry.” 678

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“ So Herbert and Clara say, but I don't t hink I shall, Biddy. I have so set t led down in t heir hom e, t hat it 's not at all likely. I am already quit e an old bachelor.” Biddy looked down at her child, and put it s lit t le hand t o her lips, and t hen put t he good m at ronly hand wit h which she had t ouched it , int o m ine. There was som et hing in t he act ion and in t he light pressure of Biddy's wedding- ring, t hat had a very pret t y eloquence in it . “ Dear Pip,” said Biddy, “ you are sure you don't fret for her?” “ O no—I t hink not , Biddy.” “ Tell m e as an old, old friend. Have you quit e forgot t en her? “ My dear Biddy, I have forgot t en not hing in m y life t hat ever had a forem ost place t here, and lit t le t hat ever had any place t here. But t hat poor dream , as I once used t o call it , has all gone by, Biddy, all gone by! ” Nevert heless, I knew while I said t hose words, t hat I secret ly int ended t o revisit t he sit e of t he old house t hat evening, alone, for her sake. Yes even so. For Est ella's sake. I had heard of her as leading a m ost unhappy life, and as being separat ed from her husband, who had used her wit h great cruelt y, and who had becom e quit e renowned as a com pound of pride, avarice, brut alit y, and m eanness. And I had heard of t he deat h of her husband, from an accident consequent on his ill- t reat m ent of a horse. This release had befallen her som e t wo years before; for anyt hing I knew, she was m arried again. 679

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The early dinner- hour at Joe's, left m e abundance of t im e, wit hout hurrying m y t alk wit h Biddy, t o walk over t o t he old spot before dark. But , what wit h loit ering on t he way, t o look at old obj ect s and t o t hink of old t im es, t he day had quit e declined when I cam e t o t he place. There was no house now, no brewery, no building what ever left , but t he wall of t he old garden. The cleared space had been enclosed wit h a rough fence, and, looking over it , I saw t hat som e of t he old ivy had st ruck root anew, and was growing green on low quiet m ounds of ruin. A gat e in t he fence st anding aj ar, I pushed it open, and went in. A cold silvery m ist had veiled t he aft ernoon, and t he m oon was not yet up t o scat t er it . But , t he st ars were shining beyond t he m ist , and t he m oon was com ing, and t he evening was not dark. I could t race out where every part of t he old house had been, and where t he brewery had been, and where t he gat e, and where t he casks. I had done so, and was looking along t he desolat e gardenwalk, when I beheld a solit ary figure in it . The figure showed it self aware of m e, as I advanced. I t had been m oving t owards m e, but it st ood st ill. As I drew nearer, I saw it t o be t he figure of a wom an. As I drew nearer yet , it was about t o t urn away, when it st opped, and let m e com e up wit h it . Then, it falt ered as if m uch surprised, and ut t ered m y nam e, and I cried out : “ Est ella! ” “ I am great ly changed. I wonder you know m e.” The freshness of her beaut y was indeed gone, but it s indescribable m aj est y and it s indescribable charm rem ained. 680

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Those at t ract ions in it , I had seen before; what I had never seen before, was t he saddened soft ened light of t he once proud eyes; what I had never felt before, was t he friendly t ouch of t he once insensible hand. We sat down on a bench t hat was near, and I said, “ Aft er so m any years, it is st range t hat we should t hus m eet again, Est ella, here where our first m eet ing was! Do you oft en com e back?” “ I have never been here since.” “ Nor I .” The m oon began t o rise, and I t hought of t he placid look at t he whit e ceiling, which had passed away. The m oon began t o rise, and I t hought of t he pressure on m y hand when I had spoken t he last words he had heard on eart h. Est ella was t he next t o break t he silence t hat ensued bet ween us. “ I have very oft en hoped and int ended t o com e back, but have been prevent ed by m any circum st ances. Poor, poor old place! ” The silvery m ist was t ouched wit h t he first rays of t he m oonlight , and t he sam e rays t ouched t he t ears t hat dropped from her eyes. Not knowing t hat I saw t hem , and set t ing herself t o get t he bet t er of t hem , she said quiet ly: “ Were you wondering, as you walked along, how it cam e t o be left in t his condit ion?” “ Yes, Est ella.” “ The ground belongs t o m e. I t is t he only possession I have not relinquished. Everyt hing else has gone from m e, 681

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lit t le by lit t le, but I have kept t his. I t was t he subj ect of t he only det erm ined resist ance I m ade in all t he wret ched years.” “ I s it t o be built on?” “ At last it is. I cam e here t o t ake leave of it before it s change. And you,” she said, in a voice of t ouching int erest t o a wanderer, “ you live abroad st ill?” “ St ill.” “ And do well, I am sure?” “ I work pret t y hard for a sufficient living, and t herefore— Yes, I do well.” “ I have oft en t hought of you,” said Est ella. “ Have you?” “ Of lat e, very oft en. There was a long hard t im e when I kept far from m e, t he rem em brance, of what I had t hrown away when I was quit e ignorant of it s wort h. But , since m y dut y has not been incom pat ible wit h t he adm ission of t hat rem em brance, I have given it a place in m y heart .” “ You have always held your place in m y heart ,” I answered. And we were silent again, unt il she spoke. “ I lit t le t hought ,” said Est ella, “ t hat I should t ake leave of you in t aking leave of t his spot . I am very glad t o do so.” “ Glad t o part again, Est ella? To m e, part ing is a painful t hing. To m e, t he rem em brance of our last part ing has been ever m ournful and painful.” “ But you said t o m e,” ret urned Est ella, very earnest ly, ‘God bless you, God forgive you! ’ And if you could say t hat t o m e t hen, you will not hesit at e t o say t hat t o m e now—now, when suffering has been st ronger t han all ot her t eaching, and 682

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has t aught m e t o underst and what your heart used t o be. I have been bent and broken, but —I hope—int o a bet t er shape. Be as considerat e and good t o m e as you were, and t ell m e we are friends.” “ We are friends,” said I , rising and bending over her, as she rose from t he bench. “ And will cont inue friends apart ,” said Est ella. I t ook her hand in m ine, and we went out of t he ruined place; and, as t he m orning m ist s had risen long ago when I first left t he forge, so, t he evening m ist s were rising now, and in all t he broad expanse of t ranquil light t hey showed t o m e, I saw no shadow of anot her part ing from her.

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