Giving Up the Ghost: Teatro in Two Acts 0931122430, 9780931122439

Citation preview

GIVING UP THE GHOST Teatro in

Two Acts

by Cherrie Moraga

West End Press

Copyright

©

by Cherrie Moraga.

All rights reserved.

part of this book may be performed, recorded, or otherwise transmitted without the permission of the author and the publisher.

No

Giving Up the Ghost was performed in an earlier version as a staged reading at the Foot of the Mountain Theatre of Minneapolis in June 1984. As the work (at publication) has not been produced, stage directions have been kept to a minimum. Those interested in producing Giving Up the Ghost should write the author for permission

through the publisher.

Photo: Annette Pelaez Artistic conception:

Osa Hidalgo de

la

Riva

Cover design: Sherri Holtke

First edition -

ISBN

August, 1986

0-931122-43-0

This project is partially supported by a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency.

West End Press P.O. Box 291477 Los Angeles, California 90029

Giving

Up

the Gliost

If I

had wings

like

an angel

over these prison walls I

would

fly

(song

my

mother would sing me)

THE CHARACTERS

MARISA

Chicana

CORKY

MARISA's younger

AMALIA THE PEOPLE

Chicana

CORKY is

her

in

her

in

late

20s self,

at 11

born

late 40s,

Those viewing THE

and

17 years old

Mexico

in

PERFORMANCE

"una chaparrita" who acts tough, but has a wide open which betrays the toughness. She dresses in

sincerity in her face

the "cholo style" of her period (the '60s): khakis with razor-sharp creases; pressed white undershirt; hair short and slicked back.

MARISA, over 10 years later, wears her toughness less selfThe sincerity is more consciously a little closer to the bone. guarded. She appears in levis, tennis shoes, and a dark shirt. Her

hair

is

AMALIA

is

short.

"soft" in just the

ways that MARISA

"hard."

is

Her

clothes give the impression of being draped, as opposed to worn. Shawl-over-blouse-over-skirt all of Mexican Indian design. Her

—

hair

is

and worn down about this woman.

long

frivolous

or loosely braided.

There

is

nothing

The STAGE SET should be black with as few props as possible. wooden chairs, for example, should be used to represent 'the street, " a 'bed, 'kitchen, etc. Lighting should be the main feature in providing setting. Throughout the long monologues (unless otherwise stated), the lighting should give the impression that the ACTORS are within hearing range of one another; that THEY in fact know what the other is saying (thinking), even when there is no obvious response from the "listener." Crates, platforms, or simple

'

'

The ACTION

(story)

The year:

East Los Angeles

1980

'

'

'

takes place (not chronologically) over a period

of months.

The place:

' '

Digitized by the Internet Archive in

2011

http://www.archive.org/details/givingupghostteaOOmora

ACT ONE LA PACHUCA

Dedicacion

Don't know where this

woman and

I

will find each other again,

hut

I

am

grateful to her

to

something

that feels like a blessing

that I am, in fact,

not trapped

which brings me politics sex.

to the

question of prisons

Music.

Voice from

tlie

dark.

MARISA Fm only telling you

Lights slowly

my

hand.

come up on MARISA downstage

CORKY

PEOPLE.

this to stay

sits

center, facing

back-to-back with MARISA.

SHE

is

yet visible.

But why, cheezus,

Why'd where

I

why me?

hafta get into a situation

all

my

ghosts

always see that

He I

I

come

to visit?

man — thick-skinned,

dark, muscular.

boulder between us. cannot lift him and her, too, carrying him.

He

is

a

is

a ghost, always haunting her

lingering.

MARISA

slowly

exits.

.

.

.

THE not

'60s Chicano-style rock

face

'n' roll

CORKY tough

sometimes

never use

to

it

my

or nut'ing hut can

remind me

'n'

I get

me

calls

feel

there

it

run the pad of my thumb over carry some'ting am sharp secretly

I

who

getting their rented tuxes

up

get all cut

at the

bloody

all

the best part

is

I love that shit!

the chicks

climbing into the ball of the fight

Chuey

dejalo!

leave

him

GUero!

go,

you know how the chicks get

tu sabes all excited

upset

'n'

W stuff

they always pulling on the carnales

'n'

messed up themselves

'n'

nowhere

'cept

looks so like they digging the their dresses ripped here

it's all

like a

movie

'n'

getting

everybody

whole Ving

there

.

.

.

tu sabes

like a

movie

it

weddings

clean color against the white

starched collars

all

turns to

slowly fades out.

pants pocket

always envy those batos

that red

it

no one knows

even pack a blade

I

meaner

get the

I

my mom

a tough cookie

there in

with it" until

(1963)

the smarter I get the older

I

CORKY

can be heard as

THE PEOPLE. SHE "moves

when

I

was a

little

kid I useta love the movies

every Saturday you could find

my

me

there

eyeballs glued to the screen

then during the lOeek

my

friend

Tudy and me

own movies

we'd make up our

one of our favorites was this cowboy one

where we'd be out

in the desert

we'd capture these chicks

'n'

ransom

for

make

hold 'em up

'n'

we'd string 'em

up

'n'

'em take their clothes off

jus' pretend a'course but

it

useta

make me

feel

tough

real

strip

we'd say

to

the wall

all cool-like

funny now when I think about how at the time and a girl but in in

my mind

my mind

I

I

had

was

big

all their

'n'

kinda

an

like

the

way

animal

you

imagining

they got a difemt set of blood vessels

or somet'ing

see

you know?

like

when you mess with

so 'em

tough

freedom

the freedom to really see a girl

little I

'n'

was

a dude

it

don' affect 'em

the

way

like

it

like

you

do

they got a difernt or something

gland system

makes their pain

that

that

cells

more dense

hell I

dunno

but you see I

never could

quite

pull

it

off

always knew deep

down

I

was

a girl

inside

no matter how I tried to

pull the other

off

I

knew

always knew

I

was an animal

cuz

it

Black

hurt

out.

that kicked back

MARISA

is

on top

sitting

of her

"bed" stage

rubbing her

left,

calves.

MARISA

Fm

make no big deal outta this. been avoiding making any deal at all. But when I go to sleep my legs stiffen up on me In

like I

not tryin' to

fact,

they got rocks in them.

mean

No

it.

kinda stretching can release the rock

hardness

ball of

I

I

stretch

got locked

I

my

between

knees

'n'

ankles.

them.

Dig

my bone

Me Fm

duele pero there's no relaxing them.

fingers into the

meat

of the calf to

work

it

out.

forced outta bed with the pain.

me

Marta finds

cruisin' the

house

like a

damn

sleep-walking zombie.

'Tou

can't sleep, Marisa?"

''No,

I

can't,"

I

she

tries.

cry

my

what I know. I'm standing firm on the ground even when

cuz I'm fighting in

legs

Fm

layin'

sideways up in bed cuz

no

Fm

sure to fly away in this anger,

root to

it

at all.

Bottomless.

Bottomless.

What

is

betrayal?

Let

me

It's

about a battle

tell

you about I

it,

it

is

will never

not clean, nothing neat.

win and never stop

fighting.

The dick beats me every

I

know Fm

cuz it's

it's

like

time.

not supposed to be sayin' this

like confession,

cryin'

still

your sins

to a priest

stopped believing was god or god's

And but

you?

still

you long ago

sit-in.

Pues, you aint no soldier of christ,

confessing what long ago you

would be forgiven

hoped

in you, that prison

that passion to beat at their

them

own game.

AMALIA

(entering stage right)

worry about La Pachuca. my nickname for her. I have trouble calling her by her Christian name, Marisa. It's a beautiful name, really, but she defies it at every turn. In fact, I change her name at regular intervals

I

That's

just to stay abreast

with

her.

La quiero mucho. She doesn't always know it, pero hay parte de ella misma que

I I

lo

sabe perfectamente.

worry about La Pachuca. worry what will happen to the beautiful corn she

if it

continues to rain so hard and much.

is

growing

CORKY

(downstage

strip

I

center, sitting)

me

one time Tudy and

did

it

for real

mean

we

been playing these movie capture games

'n!

getting ourselves

I

all

mean we could play

anyway

was

there

'n' all

worked-up

games

these

for days!

this minister 'n' his family

down

the street

they was presbyterians or methodists or something

you know one of those gringo and they had a bunch a kids the oldest

and the I

was named

littlest

mean you

religions

Lisa or something lightweight like that

was about three or

couldn't really complain about Chrissy

cuz she wasn't old enough yet but you

named Chrissy

so

knew

that

to be a

pain in the cola

was coming

me and my sister Patsy all the time how we wemt really christians cuz cath-lics

Lisa'd be hassling tell

us

worshipped the virgin mary or something I

dint

let

we was

this

the one true so I just

W

worry me

too

being tole at school

let

much though cuz how being cath-lic was

numero uno church

the rest of her

that's all they

was

little

all

to

pagan baby brothers

me

as far as I

they dint even have no mass

up on

W

myself be real cool with her

jus'

their altar with a dark suit

'n' sisters

was concerned

some paddy preaching on

very weird not a

damn

dint seem to

candle for miles

me

that there

was any god happening

in that place at all

Tudy and me

so back to

one day Tudy comes up with well

wasn't that hot on the idea but

I

hopping from backyard

we run

then so

how we should

this idea

Tudy

go along with him

backyard looking for prey

to

into Chrissy

me

'n'

still

strip for real

eye each other

'n

figure

she's the perfect victim

for our sick

the trouble

little

fantasies

Fm

is

still

not completely sold on the idea

but Tudy was always too stupid

to pull

off

by himself

up working out the whole damn thing

so I end

the boy lacked imagination

Chrissy

anything

is

hanging out

in

if

you know what

I

mean

her backyard

they have this kinda shed there

with a buncha junk

in

it

that nobody used for nut'ing

so I say to her real simple-minded like

come heeeeere Chrissy we

all

syrupy-mouthed

got something to

well a'course the kid comes cuz I

was a

big kid 'n

shooooow you all

so we take her into the shed

I

have her hand

(as

if

her

"down I

so

I

told her this

we think I

Tudy I

she's got somet'ing

'n'

pull her

think

I

me had little

then her chonas

'n'

then jus' as

we

fuchi fachi

said she to

check

shorts

'n'

10

her

wrong with her

there"

think

'n

tells

suddenly remembering) no

I tell

Tudy

'n

had a coco or somet'ing it

out

down

catch a glimple of her .

.

.

little

was so tender-looking

it

all

pink

then Tudy

goes

'n'

like a

pendejo

sticks his dirty finger

on

it

was burning hot

like it 'n'

sweet

bun

like a 'n'

real

'n'

jus' at that

I see this little

moment

.

.

.

Chrissy-kid look up at

me

like

was her

like I

mom

or something

tu sabes

like

she has this

little kid's

frown on her face

like

like

she knew

something was wrong with what 'n'

was looking

that everything 'n'

regular

what

at

me

was

to reassure

'n'

her

cool

'n! all

a pendeja I felt like

hand away

so I swipe Judy's stupid "let's

we was up

'n'

say

get outta here!"

up her shorts

pull

"no no you're fine there's

whisper

'n'

to

her

really

nothing wrong with you

but don'

tell

nobody we looked

it's

a secret

we

don' want nobody

to

worry

about you"

what 11

else

was

I

supposed

to

say?

to

tonta

(to herself) 'n'

Tudy

W outta

me make

'n

a beeline into the alley

there

coming toward THE PEOPLE) was

(long pause,

the weird thing that after that

I

was

like a

snotty Lisa kept harassing

W jus'

'n' all

things began

going

maniac

me

all

summer

about the virgin mary

in general being a pain in the coolie

to

to their

break

down when me

'n'

Patsy stopped

church meetings on Wednesday nights

we'd only go cuz they had cookies

'n'

treats

after all the bible stuff 'n!

sometimes had arts

little 'n'

'n'

crafts

where you got

to

paint

clay statues of blonde Jesus in a robe

the

little

anyway

children coming to

him

we stopped going was cuz

the reason

one time during these "prayer meetings" they called 'em

where everybody'd stand

in a circle

squeezing hands and each

you know

like for

Patsy and

the starving people in china

me always

jus' shaked

cuz

it

kid'd say a little prayer

passed

our heads no when we got squeezed

was against our

religion 'n' all to

well one time this Lisa punk has the nerve

that Patsy

'n'

(mimicking)

me would "come

to the light

of the one true christian faith" shi-it

'course

12

can you get

we never went

to that?

again

to

pray with them

pray

'member coming home

I

she says

'n'

I

think

'n' it

so

was so

better mi'jitas

nice to hear her voice

she loved us a

like

lot

that night

being cath-lic

warm

real

MARISA I

my mom

you don' go no more"

if

warm

'n'

''it's

telling

'n'

'n'

my mom

felt like

dark

'n'

kind

(long pause)

hate men.

Ya,

I

Like

said

my

it.

roommate, Marta, she said

ironing her blouse for

the one

"You

I

had

know

too yesterday

work

just fixed a hole in,

Marisa,

getting your

it

hands

men

are truly not

worth

dirty/'

them because she jerked one of our co-workers off, just this nobody guy with muscles on the night-shift, literally, with her free hand on her free time and now he thinks he's got something over on her and it was the easiest thing jerking him around. This time she hates

''Men are easy," she says, "always easier than women.'

No

13

challenge to

them

at all.

man woman to want me

I

never wanted to be a

I

only wanted a

And

that bad.

they have, you know, plenty of them,

but there's alwavs that one vou can't pin

down

who's undecided.

My I

mother was

a heterosexual

couldn't save her.

My

failures follow thereafter.

AMALIA I

am

I

see them.

(seated

in

her "kitchen" stage

riglit)

a failure.

Their security.

Their houses.

Their children are happy.

Their dogs.

They

are not un-happy.

Sure they have their struggles, their problemas, but

It's I

a

.

.

life.

always say

"It's

.

a

this.

life."

MARISA Marta bought her mother a house. After the family talked bad about her

Chihuahua with a gavacha she returned cash in hand and bought her mother kinda on the outskirts of town ten grand was all it took, that's nothing here but it did save her mother from the poverty her dead father left behind. Her brother didn't do that. for leaving

La admiro. For the 14

first

time wished

my

father

dead

a casita

so

my mother

could do

I

that kind

of rescue routine.

She, the one

me

said to

I

could never pin down,

very sweetly-like

.

.

.

AMALIA I

feel like the little bird that

in the

palm

of

my hand

was nesting

has flown away.

MARISA That's me, the pajarita with legs like steel planks in (rubbing)

Is

The women

it

I

my

anger that keeps

Fm

in their hatred of

queer

because

My

I

than me,

them.

am. Si soy jota have never ever been crazy about a man. I

friend Sally, the hooker, still

calls herself that

no more, she to

man more

even though she aint doin me the day she decided stop tricking was when once, by accident

she

bed.

have loved the most

have always loved the

even

me

my

bolted to this planet?

it

told

a John made her come. That was strickly forbidden, she explained to me, how her co-workers who were also dykes had this pact.

She'd forgotten to

resist.

To keep business, business.

She had let herself go. It was very wn-professional and dangerous. 15

No, IVe never been in love with a man. I

never understood

women who

were,

although IVe certainly been around

up

to pick

the pieces.

(CORKY approaches MARISA. THEY count off in My sister was in love with my brother.

My My

mother loved her first

woman,

the

father.

man who

put her away.

CORKY The crazy house.

MARISA When come I

I

Camarillo, Califas.

to get

Norma, she has eyes

can see through them

my

my name

face

she says, ''I

How'd you is all

I

am

buddha.''

get those black eyes

wanna know. '(iQuien

1

Black

16

out.

1968.

spinning black and glass

like saucers

am

te pego?''

buddha."

I

unison)

ask.

CORKY

(downstage center)

since that prayer meeting night Lisa had been on the warpath

her nose getting higher

one day Patsy

up on

higher in the air

'n'

her are playing dolls

'n'

the second-story porch of Mrs. Rodriguez' house

was nice up there cuz Mrs. R would let you move the tables 'n' chairs 'n' stuff around so you could really make it like a house if you wanted it

my

sister

had

it

Lisa

had

jus' gotten this nice doll for her birthday

this great curly hair

had only

W only one leg

she'd always hafta to disguise the

mud

wear long dresses on

we

missing leg but

anyway one day into this

kinda stupid doll with plastic

this

painted-on hair

this brat Lisa

all

doll's all

I

mean

I

wanted

so

me

all

like

'n'

but

it's

to this

muddy and

was gone

new

doll

like

crazy

the hair has turned bone straight

punk

Patsy go over

I see

huge ... I

Lisa!

to Lisa's I

mean

her bike which I

house where we find the not even feeling bad

is

really

her tricycle

mean hu-u-uge!

never seen a

don't even think they

trike that big

make

no more babies big enough

17

it

sister's

an arrow!

to kill that

day

my

puddle right down from Mrs. R's porch

pleased with herself

suddenly

it

knew

throws

Patsy comes back into our yard crying

her

to

'em that big no

more

little

creep

useta irritate

it

me

to learn to ride a

so

all

to

no end that she wasn't even trying

two-wheeler

and

of a sudden that bike

conies together in

wimpiness

Lisa's

my mind and

got that t'ing and threw

I

the sucker into the middle of the street

none

I dint

even wreck

but

was the principle

it

the drag 'n'

was

this lady

it

of the t'ing.

a'course she goes

who

by

my mind

she dint wear no makeup 'n'

wore her hair

anyway she has so a'course 'n' 1 tell 'n'

long

all

don' even seem

'n'

was

real

'n'

tied

up

the nerve to call

my mom

me on

calls

her 'bout the doll

Patsy's telling the

she don' really believe

mom

'n

of

dumb bun

her what

tell

know

I

done

the story

the principle of the t'ing

'n'

can see in

'n' I

a

me

'n' tall

some kind

my mom

Pasty

'n'

like

skinny in

on

the carpet wants to

same story I

mom

her

'n' tells

my mom's

eye

did nothing so bad

tells me how she wants to keep peace in the neighborhood we was already getting hassles from some of the paddy neighbors her own kids! about how my mom hollered too much at us kids kids can yell your own who you yell at? can't at I mean if you

but she

cuz

.

but she don'

by the I

let

on that

way my mom

this

is

the reason but

wasn't looking

me

in the face

hafta go over to the minister's house

she jus' kinda turns back

what she was doing

telling

so a'course I go ... I

with no one

18

to

to

the stove

me

'n'

'n

.

could

tell

when she

tells

me

apologize

keeps on with

"dndale mi'ja dinner's almost ready."

remember

watch me

I

.

.

.

.

I

go by myself

to see if I really

do

it

but

my mom knows

'n' I

I will

ring the doorbell

'n!

cuz she

tole

me

to

Mrs. Minister answers

wimp

'n'

as I begin to talk I guess the

little

'n'

runs up behind her mother's

skirt 'n' peeks

from behind

it

ever seen in a person.

all

the while

I

say I'm sorry

as the door shuts in front of

vow

ril

I

never make a mistake

ril

never show anybody

Black

out.

Corky

my

face

like that

how mad

I

can

again

get.

exits.

MARISA I

have a very long memory.

I

try to

I

don't forget

warn people how when

never really I

use

I

blame

for

it

my

it

let

it

go.

against them.

women

for everything,

mistakes

missed opportunities for

19

my

grief.

out at

voice

me

with the ugliest most snottiest shit-eating grin

I'd

'n'

my

hears

I

get hurt,

.

.

.

I

usually leave just before

When

I

feel that rise

up

wanna

I

in

lay a

woman

me,

that vengeance that getting-backness,

muddy

I

run

I

book.

Hop

river.

a train.

Split.

Desert.

AMALIA Desert.

Maybe

Desierto. in the desert,

differently I

it

could have turned out

between La Pachuca and me.

had intended to take her there,

to Mexico.

She would never have gone sin gente

For

some

alone,

alli.

reason,

I

could always picture

her in the desert

amid the mesquite y nopal. Always when I closed my eyes to search it was in the desert where I found her,

but once with eyes open I

actually did see her there,

en

el

desierto

there in the

20

body

of a

little girl.

for her,

flat.

I

was on

traveling

a bus headed south through what turned

from U.S. desert to Mexico, all was Mexico my bones remembered.

but

(sadly) It I

was

to

be

my

some

felt this, for

But there was

my

her head stuck

last trip.

nina,

way out

the

all

drinking in the hot desert

Her

reason, unspeakably.

of the

bus window,

air.

hair

flapping in the

wind

of

it

black and dancing.

She is singing and I am putting La Pachuca's words in her mouth

(AMALIA comes up behind MARISA, wraps her arms around her neck, sings)

"Desierto de Tierra de

la

Sonora

mi memoria''

Sf Sf esas son tu raices

mi

(whispering) Cdntales.

Same

21

Cdntales.

chata face.

Yaqui.

chula.

(almost

like

La luz del

a chant) atardecer.

Las sierras son azules y lloran en esta luz. Hay un silencio que habla de cosas ancianas. Secretos enterrados.

Nada como

mueve,

se yo,

pero todo suspira

"Mi

Mi

chata.

amor/'

MARISA (unmoved)

Fve a

just never believed

woman

man woman

capable of loving a

was capable

of loving a

me.

Some

part of

me

remains amazed

that

Fm

and

that over the years

not the only lesbian in the world

to find

someone

to love

me.

But

I

am

I

can always manage

never satisfied

because there are always those

women

unloved.

I

don't get

I

just feel there is a cruel unfairness

it.

in this world, this division

between love and labor. 22

left,

AMALIA drops her hands from MARISA's shoulders, THE PEOPLE.

coming toward

Long pause

AMALIA IVe only gone crazy over one He was nothing special. Pescador.

man

in

my

life.

Indio.

Worked the same waters his whole life. Once we took a drive out of the small town he and he was like a baby, terrified.

lived in,

Era increible.

Tm and

driving through the mountains he's

squirming in his

'Amalia, Ipa'

seat,

Are you sure you know

donde vamos?

where we're going?'' he kept asking. I was so amused to see this big macho break out into a cold sweat

from going no more than twenty some miles from his home town.

just

Ay

How

I loved that man! what I saw in him, really. still ask myself (pause) He was one of the cleanest people

Pero,

i

Dios!

I

I

had ever met.

Took two, three baths a day. You have to, you know. That part of la costa is like steam baths some seasons. I remember how he'd even put powder in his shorts and under his huevos to keep dry

He was

that clean.

I

always loved knowing that

I

would

23

find

him

when

like a saint.

I

touched him,

somehow.

Pure,

That no matter where he had been or

he would have washed himself

He

always smelled

.

.

.

como

Me volvi loca over this man, When returned home after

for

who he had been with,

me.

flor.

literally.

so

I

many

years, I

had never dreamed (

of falling in love,

too

I

many damn men under

can see them

like so

many love

down

the river

they

.

.

.

call it

was like having sex with children. They rub your chi-chis a little, put their finger in you to get you a then they

|

sacks of potatoes.

To me, each one

making

floating

all

the bridge.

stick

it

little

wet,

in you.

Nada mas. It's all

Un

rio

over in a few minutes.

de cuerpos muertos.

MARISA Sometimes I

see

it

(to I

AMALIA) only see the other river on your

running behind your

Remember

the time

and your eye was I

thought the river

24

face.

eyes.

we woke up

together

bowl of blood. had broken open inside you.

a

AMALIA was crazy about Alejandro. Muy loca. Now I wonder how it was he put up with me. But what I loved was not so much him, I

I

loved his children.

I

loved the part of Mexico that was

the

my home

way he had made Mexico my home

with him,

again.

Los pajaros eran Alejandro. El Alejandro was the birds, the insects that that first summer never bit me.

on the other hand, was not clean, forgot sometimes to wash. Not when I was around others, pero con mi misma, I became like the animals uncombed, el olor del suelo. I,

MARISA remember the story she told me about the village children, they had put a muneca under the door of her casita she had found it there. It was the first time she had appeared

I

how how

mad So, I

to herself.

we

take each other in doses.

learn to swallow

work my

my

fear slowly

desire,

through

the strands of her hair.

25

AMALIA) When I saw the seaweed in long thick strands swaying back and forth a deep blue brown against green ocean and foaming lip of white, (to

I

saw you there

underwater

the seaweed era tu pelo

heavy with movement ola

y piedra

and I nearly lost on the salt cliff that held

But

when

my

balance

me

the fear gripped me, that sharp stab

you get in the pit of your suddenly saw you so different. The hair pulled from your face, the head dangling, suspended. of panic

belly,

I

Bruja, pense. Vieja.

Mala I

if

felt

suerte.

so

ashamed

only in

Can you

my

to see

mind.

forgive

me?

AMALIA

Am

I your confessor? Your priest?

26

you

like that,

MARISA No, in

only that

it's

my

I

had betrayed you

felt I

thoughts.

AMALIA Your thoughts are yours.

They speak mi coraz&n.

of you, not

me

MARISA But then was the beautiful

woman

in the mirror of the water

you or me?

Who Who

do do

I

make

I

see in the ocean of our bed?

love to?

Long pause.

AMALIA (sitting, to THE PEOPLE) When learned of Alejandro's death, I

I

died too, weeks

I

just started

later.

bleeding and the blood wouldn't stop,

not until his ghost had passed through or I

was born

don't

(pause) I

feel

Except since then,

him

don't

until

27

I

me

know which.

every time I

in

living in I

know put

touch he's

my

me la

Marisa

been there

teeth to her flesh.

me

That morning

awoke

I

had come out

It

I

with blood.

and then

looked close

in thick clots that

But

to find the sheets red

in torrents

to a fetus.

had not been pregnant,

my tubes tied for years now. And lying there among the cool dampness felt my womanhood leave me.

of

my own blood,

I

Does

And I

this it

make

sense?

was Alejandro being born

why

can't say exactly

or

how

I

in

me.

knew

this,

except again for the smell, the unmistakable

man

smell of the sex of the as

if

we had

olor estaba

el

alrededor de

just

made

en

el aire

la

love

cama

and coming from "iAy mi Marisa!

my

lips

was

iTe deseo!

his voice

iTe deseo!"

MARISA had been things would If I

man, of been

a

except for one thing

.

a lot simpler .

between

.

she never would of wanted me. I

mean she would

fit

28

me more

of seen

me more and

conveniently into her

life

all,

us,

but she never would

of,

tu sabes

.

.

.

wanted me.

odd being queer. not that you don't want a man, you just don't want a man in a man. You want a man in a woman. The woman-part goes without saying. That's what you always learn to want first. Maybe the first time you see It's It's

your Dad touch your in that

way

CORKY Eeeho!

.

Mom

.

(entering)

remember the

I

my mom

.

first

time

I

got hip

to that!

standing at the stove making chile Colorado or something

she asking

my

dad did he want another

tortilla

" iquieres otro viejo?" she asks

kinda

like she's sorta

tu sabes 'n'

hassled

W being poquita

but she's really digging

he knows

it

and nods

'n'

my

dad

fria

no end

to

comes over

]us' as she

to

him

kinda flipping the tort onto the plate he grabs her

between her step cheeezus! I

I

slides his

'n'

hand up

coulda died!

musta been only 'bout nine or so but

tu sabes

29

the inside of her thigh

that

now

I

know what

it

I

got that tingling

means

.

.

.

CORKY throws chin out to MARISA CORKY exits.

returns

bato-style.

MARISA, amused,

it.

MARISA

(watching

AMALIA)

Cuando Amalia me

AMALIA

(to

dijo

.

.

.

MARISA)

Quitate tus pantalones.

MARISA I

(to

obey and

Me

siento

THE PEOPLE)

slide off

my

pants.

como un joven

lleno de deseo.

The worn denim and metal buttons are cotton and cool ice on my skin. I move on top of her, she wants this and she is full of slips and lace and stockings and yet it is she who's taking me.

AMALIA)

(watching

Hay un hombre en

esa mujer

lo

he sentido

la

miro, haciendo cafe para nosotras

frente a hornilla

pienso t

.

.

.

como puedo ver un hombre en una persona

tan hembra?

El pelo

sus movimientos

30

de una quietud imposible describir voz que me acaricia con cada palabra

la

tan suave, tan

Pienso en mi

rica.

mama.

Habia un hombre en mi

THE PEOPLE) After the last tequila and the

mama

tambien.

(pause, to

first

into the side of her grey face, she

long kiss

warned

.

.

.

AMALIA Don't do that.

I

just can't afford to feel

it

now.

MARISA .

.

.

and

I

wanted

to

plunge

my

hands

opening

into every

her body knew.

But

it's

not the desire for

my

touch which drives

her,

but the need to touch me. "Let's

go home,"

I

say.

(coming toward AMALIA) I

held the moment.

Strained, that at if I

the

if I

looked long and hard enough

woman's hand

full

inside

me

beneath the moon blasting through the window could picture and hold pictured in my mind

31

(MARISA takes AMALIA's hand)

how

that

hand buried

her working

how in

it,

in the

herself, into

wool

everything was changing

my

at that

(to

each

How^ everything was changing both of

Black

End

32

us.

out.

of Act One.

hair

moment

both of us.

MARISA and AMALIA in

of

me

other)

ACT TWO TA SALVADORA

Dedicacion 2

I

have

it

is

my memory

no one can take

the weight in

my

and

my hand

this rock in

is

palm

I still

it

away from me

dense, solid it

cannot fly away

remember

that

woman not

my

savior

but an angel

with wings that did once to

another

self

lift

me

Voices from the dark,

like

a memory.

AMALIA You have the

rest of

your

life

to forgive

me.

MARISA Forgive you for what?

AMALIA My ways.

Music. It is

1969.

CORKY enters

to downstage center, straddling a crate. Something her appearance or style should give the impression that she is now six years older She is slightly more subdued. in

The music gradually subsides.

35

After a pause,

CORKY begins slowly

Got raped

When

I

Taken

me

once.

was a

kid.

was

a long time to say that

what happened,

exactly

hut that was exactly what happened.

Makes you more aware than female, just in case

ever that you are one hunerd percent

you had any doubts

one hunerd percent female whether you act

Y'see I never ever really

let

Not like

other girls

like

men

they was

Yeah, the street

myself think about

even after

the possibility of rape

dint walk

I

it

down

like

it

or not.

it

happened. the street

lurking everywhere every corner to devour you.

was

war zone but

a

for difernt reasons,

Mexicanos sucking their damn

for muggers,

or

it

gringo stupidity, drunks

like old

lips at

you,

garbage sacks

thrown around the

and the rape They wemt

of other

safe

and

women and I

street

the people I loved.

worried each time they

left

the house,

but never never me.

I

guess

If

it

I

never wanted

could happen

to

to believe I

was

me. Yd rather think

like

"unprovoked" sex or something

But

someone took me that bad,

I

if

was

took

But the truth

36

you follow me?

is

...

raped.

I

was

took.

I

it

was something

hell I

else

dunno.

wouldn't really want

to

think

CORKY

begins

to

walk about downstage as she

was about twelve years

I

my

can even see

little

tells

"the

story.'

old,

body back then.

Chaparrita.

We wore

these kind of jumpers, tu sabes, the kind

they always have for cath-lic school.

They looked purty cuz here to I

wasn't too

so

getting chi-chis

'n' all

'n'

eighth grade girls

'n' still

trying

shove 'em into the tops of these jumpers.

Anyway I

we was

shitty on the seventh

big,

in the seventh grade I

would hang

older cousin

was taking me

so I figured

.

.

Can you

to

mend my ways

.

Norma

got straight

As

into her bed by then

that

She'd get really pissed

threatened

was trying

after school 'n' try to be helpful 'n' all to the nuns.

my

guess cuz

'n'

tu sabes, pero the big girls looked te-rri-ble!

to "take it

get to that?

was the way

to go.

when I fucked up in school, away" tu sabes if I dint behave. iQue frial ino?

Anyway Norma was the only one I ever tole about doing it to me 'n' then she took it away for good. whip her butt for that goddamn hubby 'n' kids now

the custodian

I'd still like to

her

'n'

her

puros gavachos

37

little

shi-it

blonde-haired blue-eyed things.

The

oldest

is

a little joto

you ask me.

if

Sure, he's barely four years old, hut

way he goes around primping me to no end. What goes around, comes around.

the

you can already

all

tell

over the place.

Pleases

"Jason," they call him.

No, not "Hason," pero "Jay-sun."

Puro gringo.

Anyzuay

so I

was walking by

Hawk" we

"The

when

this

Sister

called her cuz she

Mary

had a nose

man, a mexicano, motions

who

I'm looking for this girl Rosie

to

So

guy

calls

me

to

They'd do

it

I

dint recognize

'n

stuff I

'n

cuz

if 1

much.

speak Spanish.

muy humilde y

answer, "Si, poquito," which

I

work

to

guess cuz they dint need

the priests dint need to pay 'em

"Senorita Ihablas espanol?" I

him

"por Dios" tu sabes.

So he asks me

'n

inside.

me

me.

to tell

but the parish was always hiring mexicanos

around the grounds

know English

come on

me, "Ven p'aca," he says.

He's about in his late thirties,

to

attitude like one

'n

said she'd meet

cuz she has something "very important" this

Dominic's classroom,

dunno how much

I

todo

alzoays say to strattgers

will be expected of me.

"Ven p'aca," he says otra vez

'n

I

do outta respect

for my primo Enrique cuz he looks alot like him, real neatly dressed. He had work clothes on 'n all I remember but thexj wemt dirty

or wrinkled or nuthin if

like

he'd been workiitg all

they shoulda been

day

but he has this screzvdriver so

I

But

38

figure he must be sojnethiy-ig

in his

hand

legit.

was funny, and

his Spanish

.

.

.

7 couldn't quite

make

which made me

feel

was Mexican

that I

it

out cuz he

mumbled dot

kinda bad about myself tu sabes

understand him that good.

too but couldn't

mostly jus' catch on by his body movements

So, I

what he wants me

He's tryin'

to do.

drawer

to fix this

that's loose in the

Hawk's

desk.

knew already about the drawer cuz she was always bitching 'n' moaning about it getting stuck cuz the bottom kept falling out.

I

So,

he

tells

me

he needs someone

hold the bottom

drawer up so he can screw the sides

of the

which makes sense

me, but the problem

to

in is

.

.

.

don' see no screws.

I

Looked i

to

Que

me

to

like

tonta soy!

But standing

to

damn

the whole

the side, I lean over

and hold the drawer up with

(CORKY

my

me

with

my

asi.

(she demonstrates)

stand

to

it

or not,

'n'

believe

it

or not, this hijo de

behind

my

me on

I

the floor

'n'

my

la

legs apart,

chingada madre

reaches his

arm up

business-like

all

Abrete poco mas, senorita."

"Abrete mas, por favor, las piernas. Still all polite

39

'n'

drawer

legs that I'm straining to keep closed

even though he keeps saying

by

asi, asi."

do

believe

Little

asi.

in front of the

hands holding each side up

'n'

between

"No,

all frustrated-like,

turns out he wants

sits

hand,

demonstrates)

Then he says It

thing was glued together

I no?

little,

'n' like

a pendeja

he gets

my

.

.

.

legs open.

I do.

my

I feel

face getting hotter

wanna

I'm staring straight ahead don'

then worry

how someone would

up between my

legs 'n' then

past the inside of

my

my

thigh

it

my

feel

him

front part.

look at what's

happening

see us like this this guy's

arm

begins to kinda brush

his

arm

then the heat of his skin

that first that

can kinda

'n' I

drawer pressed up against

jiggling the

can

I

'n' I

feel the

keep wishing

hair 'n'

dreading

stupid friend Rosie with her stupid secret might come

The skin the skin

is

so soft I hafta admit

young kinda

.

.

a girl's like

like

think about

I try to

to

.

Norma

'n

kinda pass the time hoping

.

.

.

Norma's shoulder.

her shoulders to

hurry things along

while he keeps saying, "casi thmino, casi tSrmino" 'n' I

keep saying back,

"senor still all

me

tengo que

polite

ir

mi mama me espera"

como mensa

until finally I feel the screwdriver by

then suddenly the tip of is

against the cotton of

"Don't move," he 'n' I

tells

it

my

me.

it

my

leg like ice

feels like to

me

chonas.

His accent gone,

In English.

don:

(SHE moves right down to the center of THE PEOPLE). From then on all I see in my mind's eye were my eyes shut? .

is

this screwdriver he's got in his

yellow

glass

shiny

metal

the kind

40

my

.

.

sweaty palm

handle

father useta use to fix things around the house

by.

remembered how

help

I'd

him

how

he'd take

'n' I

kept getting

him confused

my

kept imagining

with

me on

father

his jobs with

him

my mind

in

man

this

'n'

his

arm

him my father returned

come hack the

arm was

hielo I

wanted

cuz

.

.

.

ice

cry "papa papa"

to

knew

I

hut this other thing

so soft

hielo

then

'n'

musta done something

I

I started

real

wrong

crying for real to get

myself

in this mess.

I figure he's

gonna shove the damn thing up me

he's trying to get

my

chonas down

"por favor senor no please don' hut

can hear

I

my

'n' I

jus' keep saying

"

voice through

my own

ears

way around one I know

not from the inside out hut the other 'n' I

know

I'm not fighting this

I

don' even sound convinced.

"

IDonde

"idonde

'stds

my mind

man answering

soy tu papa."

this gives

'n'

keep running through

'stas?"

"aqui estoy.

me

permission

go 'head

to

not hafta fight.

to

By

the time he gets

suddenly

like I

my

feel like

heen exposed

my to

the air

thing kinda not attached

wounded

41

chonas down

hird.

to

my

knees

I'm walking on air

flapping in the wind a

I

finally I imagine the

'n'

I

papa?"

like I

to

like a hird

have no kneecaps

no hody

Fm

relieved

when

only worry

who

hear the metal drop

I

will see

me

to

the floor

doing this?

get-this-over-with-get-this-over-with

W

he does gracias a dios bringing his hand up

me down

bringing

linoleum floor the smell of

Y

ya

wax

'stoy lista for

"open your legs"

me

me dip

otra vez

resignation

feels

the most natural thing in the world

give in

'n' I

open

for the in his

my

legs

wide wide open

angry animal that springs outta the opening pants

so I can

Then he

'n

go back

hit

me

all I

to

wanna do

with

what was supposed 1

remembered had 'n

forbidden

have

'n

it

over

a kid again.

it

that

once wet

is

being myself

into

to be a

'n'

''Only with you, Corky."

hole

Norma had found showed me too

to be

cuz

how wide 'n deep like a cueva hers got when she wanted it to only with me she said (pause)

42

for

feels

what to

what long ago waited

do cuz I'm not useta fighting

'n' I

what

like

polish.

was no surprise

there

like

earth

to

cold

it

But with

one

this

was no hole

there

to make it saw myself down

he had 'n' I

there like a face

with no opening a face with no features

no eyes no nose no mouth only

little lines

where they shoulda been

so I dint cry

I

never cried as he shoved the thing

into

what was supposed

to be a

mouth

with no teeth with no hate

with no voice only a hole.

A

Hole!

(gritando)

HE MADE ME A HOLE! Black

out.

MARISA

(upstage, after a pause)

I

don't regret

I

don't regret nuthin.

He

me

only convinced

From an being a I

it.

early age

woman

.

only got a head

.

start

after

I

43

to live

name. with

it,

.

then, years later got to be with

admired how

my own

you learn

And I

of

their

over some.

some other men, things had no opening.

only a tiny tiny pinhole dot to pee from, to come from. I

thought

.

.

how

.

lucky they were

that they could release all

that pent-up shit

all

that stuff,

from the day

through a hole that

nobody

MARISA

turns

.

.

.

could get

into.

away from THE PEOPLE and slowly

Silence.

AMALIA En

la

Zona Rosa, the sky remains pink

in night

My I

link

in light

life.

novio from

my arm

(begins

We

(entering "the street" downstage)

to

many

years ago

is

beside me.

into his.

walk as

if

with a "partner")

have found each other once again

in the country of our birth.

Somos mexicanos

still

returning.

am pleased that we have run into each other no need to explain what kind of almas perdidas somos. I

At

least,

no need

44

tonight to explain.

exits.

Carlos

cardboard,

is

not because he has no feeling,

but to

no

attribute

I

may

feeling to him.

His eyes

bleed in their want

know, sorrow

to see

me

suffer so.

am

shocked it is so visible on pero no puedo sentirlo. No puedo. I

But we walk together arm with the generosity of old

He

memoria de

la

will return the

skin

arm

in

lovers.

me and I beneath my

asks nothing of

the cobblestones la

my

pray feet

piedra abajo

life

to

me

(pause)

but

So

lost this

life,

man.

this

Ya

have already

I

me I

abandone.

stop

him

in the

middle

of

our walk,

grab his two hands in mine,

make love to me way he knows how.

and ask him the best

He I

is

a beautiful passionate

can see

muy

45

to

this

on the screen

mexicano.

man,

really.

of his face,

He was my this

makes

first

both of us,

.

.

and

it

is

true

older now,

.

y maduro

gris

ground

like this

latino lover

a difference

that

weeps

beneath these buildings,

campo

fragil

con memoria tan violente que podrfa destruir todos de estos edificios. U.S. Embassy. Banco Serfin. Cocktail lounge. Curio shop.

"Regresare.''

La Tierra nos recuerda.

''Regresare.''

Nos promete.

When

they "discovered" El Templo Mayor

beneath the walls of this city, they had not realized that it was she who discovered them. Nothing remains buried forever.

Not even memory. even memory.

Especially, not

Pero, Carlos

Carlos takes I

credit

.

.

.

me

back

him with

a

to

my

hotel room.

power only

his race

remembers.

In spite of himself, todavia lo tiene.

La Raza recuerda.

He He

is

a

good

takes

me

I

lover,

we

into his

which mexicanos

enter our

arms

.

.

first

are likely to do.

the ritual of the unveiling.

46

.

bed confidently. with his clothes on

We

love

He

already stirring beneath

is

the flannel of his professor's pants.

He

a

is still

boy

after

all.

Me encanta for his sake. Men go from boys to viejos I

wonder

for a

moment

.

.

.

.

.

.

todavia es chavo.

what moves him?

La memoria? La nostalgia para nuestra juventud? i La esperanza para alguna mujer magia que lo puede salvar de su propia vergUenza? i

i

We

take to

bed the gavacha wife

the twenty-five-year-old marriage.

What breed For a I

of

man we

moment, he

produce!

is like

my

son and

Men

go from boys

(sighing)

fear

to viejos

so soon.

I

don't stop thinking of the wife.

I

offer to her

my I

I

should have taken better care with him.

through his hungry rose mouth pezones, withered as they are.

them someone

offer

that

might keep watch continue dreaming that our mouths and tongues and enflaming nerves can cleanse us of our feelings, our shame.

47

me, 'Te quiero, Amalia.

Carlos

tells

Todavia

Siempre

And

I

te quiero. te querre/'

know he

is

not lying,

only dreaming.

how I wish I remembered how to dream this way! Ay,

(long pause)

Voice from the dark,

like

a memory.

MARISA rU keep driving

AMALIA You want

MARISA

if

you promise not

(onstage)

me

to stop

touching you?

(from the dark)

No. If

48

you promise

not to stop.

to stop

touching me.

J

AMALIA (long pause)

was concerned about was getting my health back was not so much that I had been sick,

All

It

I

only

I

together.

lacked energy.

Possibly

but the

it

was the

women

in

coming on,

''change''

my

familia did not

go through the "change" so

I

young ...

I,

thought, maybe

not even

it

fifty.

was the American

influence

that causes the blood to be sucked dry from you so early.

Nothing was wrong with me, really. My bones ached. That was it. I needed rest.

Nothing Mexico couldn't

cure,

I

thought.

(starts to exit)

MARISA (sitting

on

tlie

"cliff")

For the whole summer,

I

watched the people

in bright-colored sails over the califas sea

waiting for her.

49

fly

(AMALIA stops suddenly as watches MARISA)

if

hearing

this for the first time, turns,

MARISA

(to THE PEOPLE) Red and gold and blue striped wings with black

letters

blazing the sky.

sandy

Lifting off the

cliffs,

dangling gringo

Always imagined myself up there

in their place,

flying for real

never coming back

down

to earth

leaving

my body behind.

One morning

I

awoke

to find a bird

dead on the beach. I

knew

it

wasn't a rock because

it

was

light

enough to roll with the tide. I saw this from a distance.

Later that day, they found a

dead there

Una

at

the very

same

woman spot,

I

swear.

viejita.

A

crowd gathered 'round her as a young man in a blue swimsuit tried to spoon the sand from her throat with his

finger.

Putting his breath to her was too

50

legs.

late.

I

know

but I

I

it's

crazy to say

.

.

.

have never seen a dead person.

mean

... a

live

one, just recently dead.

She was so very very grey and wet, gris y mojada

como

arena.

la

She was I

could

How

Mexican by her house dress. she drown? a

tell

did

(looking to

Then

I

AMALIA)

remembered what Amalia had

about omens. I

stopped going

waiting.

51

told

me

AM ALIA (pause)

You and

MAR ISA)

(to

had

I

dream once

a

.

.

.

Chata, were indias, baking something

I,

maybe bread, maybe clay pots on a wide expanse of beach.

We

were very happy.

And

then

.

.

The mood

suddenly

.

.

.

the

.

dream changes.

dark, clouded.

is

I

am

I

remember being crouched down

in

my

hut

.

.

alone.

.

In our village, something

some

And

I

who

.

in terror.

(remembering)

That was

it.

everyone, in fear for their lives

me am

is

Let

in!

homes. a furious pounding

to their

Suddenly, there ''Let

.

taboo had been broken.

terrible

had returned

But

.

unable

me to

And it move when I in!''

is

at

my

door.

your voice, Chatita.

realize

it is

you

has gone against the code del pueblo.

Funny ... I was not afraid of being punished. I was not afraid the gods would enact their wrath against our pueblo for the breaking of the taboo. It

was merely

And

if

then,

.

what

.

.

that the taboo

.

.

else?

What was there to hold to? What immovable truths were 52

.

.

.

could be broken.

law nearly transcribed in blood

this

could go

.

left?

j "

Silence.

AMALIA and MARISA look directly at each other, sustain

AMALIA

I

think, with

that she only

so

much

that she

THE PEOPLE)

(to

Sometimes a

it.

wanted

me

to feel herself

woman

would no longer be hungry

for one.

Pero, siempre tiene hambre. Siempre tiene pena.

(pause)

Black out

Long pause. As lights gradually come up on her "bed," rubbing her calves. I

woke up

this

Sometimes I

Fm

wake instead

again,

MARISA appears

morning the same way I have for months. so mad, I can't even hear the birds outside my window. to this fluttering inside

my

chest

this heat

wings of birds are batting up a war dance stomping out a fire in there.

like the

(pause)

I

still

wake up imagining touching her

waiting to be touched.

53

.

.

.

(pause)

must admit,

wanted to save her. whole truth of the story. And the problem is sometimes I actually believed could and I sometimes she did, too. She'd look at me that way, you know, with hope in her eyes and it would light up her whole face I

I

That's probably the

.

.

.

.

especially

Sometimes but usually

when we made

that look I

.

.

love.

would make me very nervous

tried to look past

it

tried to get to the heart of the matter of

what we were doing and not get what we were doing.

all

locked

up

thinking about

Thinking always made

When I

me

nervous and her scared.

she wasn't thinking, she'd come to me,

on wheels! open the door and find her

swear, like heat

I'd

there,

wet

from the outta-nowhere June rains and without her even opening her mouth I knew what she had come for.

I

never

knew when

to expect her this

way

just like the rains

never ever

only

54

when

when

I

wanted

she decided.

it

asked for

it

begged

for

it

down and wide open

But she would lay herself like I

woman

no

think

Some

it

was

for

me

Td ever had before.

in the quality of her skin.

people, you know, their skin

is like

a covering.

They're supposed to be showing you something

when

the clothes

but nothing

They

fall

is lost

.

just don' give

Pero Amalia

.

She was never

.

.

heap around your four ankles, you know what I mean?

into a .

.

up nuthin.

Eeeholay!

fully

naked

me,

in front of

always had to keep some piece of clothing on

.

.

.

a shirt or

something always wrapped up around her

her arms

all

outta

and

it

but she'd never want

What she

flying

all

it

the

did reveal, however

.

.

.

way

.

.

off.

.

each item of clothing removed was a I

gift,

swear, a small offering

a suggestion of

all

that could be lost

and found

in

our making love

together. It

was

like

she was saying to me,

^y tu?

down my ^Que me

and

give her the

'I'll

lay

I'd

underslip,

mi amor

palm

of

my hand

risk.

Everything took time

and

55

painstaking.

.

.

vas a dar?"

the spot she had just exposed.

Everything was a

.

.

.

.

was slow

to

warm

throat,

Ill

never forget after the

I felt

.

.

mucho

.

and she

me

says to

AMALIA You make

first

time

we made

orgullo y todo de eso .

.

me

.

.

love

like a

good lover

.

(from the dark,

love to

.

a

like

like

memory)

worship.

MARISA and I nearly died, it was so powerful what she was saying. And I wanted to say but didn't "Sf. La mujer es mi religion." .

(to herself)

.

.

only sex coulda saved us.

If

You know sometimes when me and her was in the

middle of

it,

making love Fd look up at her face, kinda grey from being indoors so much in that cave of a house .

.

.

she lived

But

when we were

this real like

deep color

together, I'd see

of

brown and

she was cookin inside

(remembering)

Kind.

.

.

it

change, turn

olive

.

tan linda.

Very very very kind

to

me

to herself

to the

pinche planet

and Fd watch it move from outside the house where that crazy espfritu of hers had been out makin

56

in.

tracks.

Yd watch it come inside through the door watch it travel all through her own private miseries and settle itself finally right there in the room with This bed. (she pounds it)

us.

This fucking dreary season.

This cement

city.

With us. With me.

No

part of her begging to get outta this.

Have

And

it

I

over.

could

Waiting.

Forget.

feel all the parts of

Held.

her

move

into operation.

Suspended.

me to put my mouth to her knew she knew we would find her como fuego

Praying for

and

I

hot hot hot mojada mi mujer

and she could be mi muchachita y mi mujer en el mismo momento and just as I pressed my mouth to her, Fd think I

could save your

It's

.

.

life.

not often you get to see people that

way

puss and glory love them.

in all their

and still It makes you feel so good, like your hands are weapons of war and as they move up into el coraz&n de you are making her body remember

57

esta

mujer

.

it

didn't hafta

It

was not

be that hurt,

that

all

with the

me

entiendes?

natural or right

that she got beat

and

i

down

damn

so

hard

those crimes had nothing to do

girl

she once was two, three, four

decades ago.

like

It's

making

each time if I

must.

If I

must,

I

am

so

I

all

I

from scratch over again with strangers familia

.

.

.

will.

preparing myself for the worst, cling to her in

my

heart,

my daydream with pencil when put my fingers to my own

in

my

mouth,

I

forgotten places.

MARISA

slowly rises

Music.

End Fin.

58

of Act Two.

and

exits.

The

lights

fade out

in silence.

Drama/Womens Studies/Chicano

Studies

$5.95

"An emotionally haunting encounter that asks us as women to look back over our shoulders and face the unforgettable Cherrie Moraga drums up the pulse of the past in all of us."

Angela Y Davis

"Melding desire and memory into haunting new vistas and images, GIVING UP THE GHOST is deeply felt potent and compelling. Cherrie Moraga is an incandescent new voice in Chicana/o literature."

Tomds Ybarra-Frausto Stanford University

WEST END PRESS •

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Box 291477 Los Angeles, California 90029

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