Cross-Cultural Experiences of Chinese Immigrant Mothers in Canada: Challenges and Opportunities for Schooling [1st ed.] 9783030469764, 9783030469771

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INTERCULTURAL RECIPROCAL LEARNING IN CHINESE AND WESTERN EDUCATION

Cross-Cultural Experiences of Chinese Immigrant Mothers in Canada Challenges and Opportunities for Schooling Xiaohong Chi

Intercultural Reciprocal Learning in Chinese and Western Education

Series Editors Michael Connelly University of Toronto Toronto, ON, Canada Shijing Xu Faculty of Education University of Windsor Windsor, ON, Canada

This book series grows out of the current global interest and turmoil over comparative education and its role in international competition. The specific series grows out of two ongoing educational programs which are integrated in the partnership, the University of Windsor-Southwest University Teacher Education Reciprocal Learning Program and the ShanghaiToronto-Beijing Sister School Network. These programs provide a comprehensive educational approach ranging from preschool to teacher education programs. This framework provides a structure for a set of ongoing Canada-China research teams in school curriculum and teacher education areas. The overall aim of the Partnership program, and therefore of the proposed book series, is to draw on school and university educational programs to create a comprehensive cross-cultural knowledge base and understanding of school education, teacher education and the cultural contexts for education in China and the West.

More information about this series at http://www.palgrave.com/gp/series/15114

Xiaohong Chi

Cross-Cultural Experiences of Chinese Immigrant Mothers in Canada Challenges and Opportunities for Schooling

Xiaohong Chi Department of English Education Shanghai International Studies University Songjiang, Shanghai, China

Intercultural Reciprocal Learning in Chinese and Western Education ISBN 978-3-030-46976-4 ISBN 978-3-030-46977-1 (eBook) https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-46977-1 © The Editor(s) (if applicable) and The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Nature Switzerland AG 2020 This work is subject to copyright. All rights are solely and exclusively licensed by the Publisher, whether the whole or part of the material is concerned, specifically the rights of translation, reprinting, reuse of illustrations, recitation, broadcasting, reproduction on microfilms or in any other physical way, and transmission or information storage and retrieval, electronic adaptation, computer software, or by similar or dissimilar methodology now known or hereafter developed. The use of general descriptive names, registered names, trademarks, service marks, etc. in this publication does not imply, even in the absence of a specific statement, that such names are exempt from the relevant protective laws and regulations and therefore free for general use. The publisher, the authors and the editors are safe to assume that the advice and information in this book are believed to be true and accurate at the date of publication. Neither the publisher nor the authors or the editors give a warranty, express or implied, with respect to the material contained herein or for any errors or omissions that may have been made. The publisher remains neutral with regard to jurisdictional claims in published maps and institutional affiliations. Cover illustration: © JZhao Photography/Moment/gettyimages This Palgrave Macmillan imprint is published by the registered company Springer Nature Switzerland AG The registered company address is: Gewerbestrasse 11, 6330 Cham, Switzerland

Foreword

This unique book arises out of a visionary project of reciprocal learning between Chinese and Canadian schools established in 2013, which made it possible for teacher education students, teachers, school principals and educational researchers to spend time in each other’s schools and universities and learn from each other. Chi Xiaohong, the author of the book, served as a graduate research assistant while doing her doctorate at the University of Toronto and facilitating many different dimensions of the exchange. She decided to focus her doctoral research on the experience of Chinese immigrant families in Canada, and specifically on the perspectives of the mothers as they supported their children in schools whose learning regime and culture were so different from what they knew in the Chinese environment. The book is beautifully researched, beginning with a chapter that introduces her core research questions, followed by one that reviews the literature on Chinese cultural traditions and their distinctive features in comparison with the West, and draws on such celebrated scholars as Liang Shuming and Lin Yutang on the Chinese side, Benedict Anderson and Pierre Bourdieu on the Western side. In some cases the author has translated excerpts from Chinese language texts to share with readers. In the third chapter she explains narrative method which goes deep into the personal experience of story telling in the lives of individuals as they share the meanings that they assign to the unfolding circumstances of their lives and gives a rich ethnographic contour to the text. In this chapter the v

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four families are also identified, with a special focus on the mothers and the circumstances that led to them choosing immigration to Canada, in each case unique and disparate. Since it is the mothers who stand at the interface between their children and wider family members on the one hand, and the Canadian teachers and schools on the other, their thinking, dilemmas and cultural conflicts lie at the heart of the book. The reader has the chance to get to know each of the four mothers intimately and enter into their experience emotionally, as well as gaining some intellectual understanding of the intercultural tension they experience. Chapter 4 deals with intergenerational relations—how the mothers communicate with their children, encouraging them to maintain some fluency in Chinese, while struggling for the all-important mastery of English that will be necessary for their future in Canada. This chapter gives a fine-grained picture of the differences between the two languages and how these play out in family discourses at all levels, also deep insight into the distinctive parenting practices in Chinese and Canadian contexts. Chapters 5 and 6 then go on to look at how Chinese immigrant parents relate to Canadian schools and how they cooperate with each other as they deal with all the demands of adjustment to their new life in Canada. For most this has involved the loss of the professional status and financial security of their homes in China. The book concludes with a chapter on major findings, that highlight the importance of reciprocity and mutual learning between the two very different cultures. What becomes clear is how much Canadian schools could benefit if teachers genuinely opened themselves to learning from the cultures brought into their schools by immigrant communities such as those from China and how a greatly enhanced multi-culturalism could strengthen the school curriculum and bring new approaches to the teaching of mathematics, the arts and other areas. The less heard voice of Chinese immigrant mothers could open new venues for the understanding of cross-cultural experiences. The book may thus serve as a bridge that helps to form a circle of reciprocity among parents, teachers and students. As an international student from China, who completed a doctoral degree in education as well as serving as a research assistant on the major reciprocal learning project noted above, the author brings unique insights into this volume. At many points in her narrative, she shares her personal perspectives and allows readers to enter into her own journey between the two cultures, a journey that culminated in a decision to return to China and take up a teaching position in a leading university in Shanghai.

FOREWORD

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In concluding this foreword, let me say a few words about the dialogue among civilizations that emerged after the end of the Cold War in the 1990s. This was a time when the West finally woke up to all that could be learned from the richness of Asian civilizations. In response to Samuel Huntington’s “Clash of Civilizations,” the United Nations declared 2001 as the year of “Dialogue among Civilizations.” I believe the Reciprocal Learning Project organized at the University of Windsor and the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education, University of Toronto, with Southwest University, East China Normal University, Northeast Normal University and the Beijing Foreign Studies University as active partners on the Chinese side provided a remarkable context for dynamic learning between teacher education students, teachers, school principals and education professors on both sides. This book is one of the many rich fruits of this collaboration. For more on this project, please visit the following website: http://www.uwindsor.ca/education/supplemental/reciprocal-learning. Toronto, ON, Canada

Ruth Hayhoe

Acknowledgements

I would like, first of all, to thank Dr. John Wallace for his most invaluable guidance and supervision during my doctoral journey. His help is not restricted to academic matters only. There were very difficult moments in these years when, had it not been for his support and encouragement, I would have lost my grip and allowed myself to drift away from my original purpose. My heartfelt gratitude goes to the four families who kindly agreed to participate in my research. Their trust in me, and their willingness to share their precious views and life stories with me rendered my research fruitful. Their reflection on Chinese culture, their exploration of the Canadian schooling, and their eagerness to learn about the local school give new insights into the parent-school relations. Their dedication to the wellness and happy growth of their children greatly touched me. I am also greatly indebted to Professor Michael Connelly, who gave me precious advice and supervision when I worked with him on the ShanghaiToronto-Beijing Sister School Project. I have gained first-hand knowledge on narrative inquiry from such invaluable learning opportunities. What’s more, without Professor Connelly’s tireless encouragement, I dare not to dream of publishing my research. My special thanks go to Professor Ruth Hayhoe, who wrote the foreword for my book, and provided detailed suggestions on the text. My love and gratitude also go to Dr. Jemille Chu Morrison, who graduates from OISE and is my dear friend. I could never forget that she gave

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me a birthday surprise in one of our classes at OISE, and the whole class sang the birthday song to me. I visited her home many, many times, and she introduced me to her friends. She became one of the main channels for me to broaden my social life in Toronto and learn about the local life and culture. My special thanks go to Dr. Lesley Shore, whose course I took at OISE. With her encouragement and support, I gradually found the joy of academic pursuit. My mother Zhuang Ruhua, my father Chi Shaonan, my older brother Chi Yu and my younger sister Chi Xiaoyan have always been a great support for me. My deep love goes to my mother-in-law Zhou Ruolan, my father-inlaw Chen Long, and my lovely sister-in-law Chen Ting. My greatest debt, however, is to my husband, Dr. Chen Lei: without his patience and tireless help—besides everything else he is also the first reader of my writing, having discussed with me about every detail of my book and pitched in with many wonderful ideas – I would not have been able to carry out this daunting task. My love to them all!

About This Book

Reciprocal learning between cultures is a fascinating topic, and I approach this issue by studying the settlement process of Chinese immigrant families. For newcomer families, adjusting to the local school is a major concern, since their children’s education is a crucial factor in families’ immigration decision. In my research, I examined Chinese immigrant mothers’ experience with Canadian schooling. The study focuses on four families living in the Greater Toronto area, who have immigrated from mainland China. I employed narrative inquiry to tell the stories of the lived experience of the four families in my study. The data for these stories are mainly drawn from field notes of each of my home visits and my interviews with the family members over a six-month period. I also draw data from the SSHRC-funded Shanghai-Toronto-Beijing Sister School research project. I found that the challenges and difficulties the immigrant parents face are deeply rooted in the differences between Chinese and Canadian cultures and social systems. The discussion on the features of Chinese culture in its comparison with Western culture provides a reference point for understanding the Chinese immigrant mothers’ values and opinions on such matters as schooling, moral education, and parenting practice. Parental involvement in schools is different between China and Canada, and the parents, and school teachers and administrators have different understanding on this issue. What’s more, the language barrier impeded the parents’ involvement in their children’s school life. The acculturation gap between

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the parents and their children is another major reason for miscommunication over such issues as extracurricular activities, choice of university major, and future career. The less heard voice of immigrant parents will open new venues for the understanding of cross-cultural experiences of immigrant students. I find that instead of mainly using the traditional Chinese practice and Chinese educational values in approaching their children’s education, it is important for Chinese immigrant parents to make efforts to familiarize themselves with the ideas and values that their children are exposed to in the new environment. I also give advice on how to facilitate reciprocal learning between Chinese and Canadian cultures.

Contents

1 1 5 7 12 14

1

Introduction 1.1 Prologue 1.2 Life in Transition 1.3 Research Questions 1.4 Outline of the Book References

2

Cross-Cultural Perspectives on Chinese Immigrant Parents’ Experience 2.1 Comparative Studies of Chinese and Western Cultures 2.2 Distinctive Features of Chinese Culture 2.2.1 Individualism vs. Collectivism 2.2.2 Chinese Family System 2.3 Rearing the Children to Provide for Old Age 2.4 Chinese Immigrant Parents’ Encounters with the School Culture 2.4.1 Border Crossing References

28 29 31

Multi-Faceted Stories of Chinese Immigrant Families 3.1 Narrative Inquiry 3.2 Stepping into the Field 3.3 Vignettes of the Four Families

35 35 39 44

3

17 17 20 22 24 26

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3.3.1 Hua 3.3.2 Meiping 3.3.3 Ying 3.3.4 Yun 3.4 Reciprocity Between Researcher and the Research Participants 3.5 Data Collection and Analysis References 4

44 44 46 47 48 51 53 55 56 65

Intergenerational Relationships 4.1 Journey to the West 4.2 Acculturation Process 4.2.1 Acculturation Gap Between the Two Generations 4.2.2 Implications of the Language Barrier 4.3 Learning About the Local Culture 4.4 Chinese Parenting Style 4.4.1 Physical Punishment 4.4.2 The Shaming Practice 4.4.3 Get the Best of Both Worlds 4.4.4 The Sacrifice Pattern 4.4.5 Expanded Family Structure References

66 81 99 102 105 111 114 115 117 119

5

Encounter with Canadian Schools 5.1 Differences in School Culture 5.2 Extra Chinese Homework 5.3 Chinese Math vs. Canadian Math 5.4 Moral Education 5.5 Parental Involvement with School References

125 125 140 152 157 164 175

6

Interaction with Other Chinese Immigrant Parents 6.1 Chinese Schools in Toronto 6.2 Social Networking 6.3 Peer Pressure and Parental Expectation 6.4 Tips from the Virtual Community References

179 179 181 184 193 194

CONTENTS

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Major Findings 7.1 Chinese Immigrant Parents’ Adjustment to the Canadian Schooling 7.1.1 Learn About the Local School Culture 7.1.2 Extra Chinese Homework 7.1.3 Teacher-Parent Relations 7.1.4 Dilemma of the Language Use 7.1.5 Moral Education 7.2 Impact and Influence on Their Parenting Practice 7.2.1 Attitude Toward Physical Punishment 7.2.2 Critical Thinking 7.2.3 Change in Parental Expectation 7.2.4 Cross-Cultural Mothering/Parenting 7.3 Implications for Canadian Educators 7.3.1 Border Crossing 7.3.2 Exemplar Practice of Reciprocal Learning 7.4 Challenges Facing Reciprocal Learning References

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197 197 198 198 199 199 200 200 200 200 201 201 202 202 206 209 211

Conclusion

213

Bibliography

217

Index

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CHAPTER 1

Introduction

1.1

Prologue

This research is inspired by my personal experience in Canada. It is also closely linked with my academic training in both English literature and curriculum studies. As an international student from China, when I first started my student life at OISE, University of Toronto, a Canadian classmate commented, “China has such profound philosophy and culture, why would you want to study in Canada?” This is that kind of question that stays with you and the quest for an answer has accompanied my life as a foreign student. Upon graduation, I chose to go back to China and resumed my former teaching position at a university in Shanghai. Another question that was usually addressed to me by my friends and students is “Why do you choose to come back?” When I juxtapose these two questions together, I find that they actually embody a similar attitude: China vs. Canada. They are viewed as exclusive of each other. It has to be an either-or situation. This research, in some sense, tries to answer this question. From a personal point of view, I feel that the exchange of cultures is an act of reciprocity, and cultures grow and ripen by learning from each other. As part of the Reciprocal Learning book series, this book is also governed by the theoretical model developed by Connelly and Xu (2019), which views reciprocal learning as collaborative partnership. The liberating power of this approach lies in the fact that it breaks © The Author(s) 2020 X. Chi, Cross-Cultural Experiences of Chinese Immigrant Mothers in Canada, Intercultural Reciprocal Learning in Chinese and Western Education, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-46977-1_1

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through the tradition of comparison and competition in cross-cultural and comparative studies, and goes one step further by asking the simple yet compelling question, “What are people learning from one another as they work together?” (p. 638). This is also what I try to find out in my research. In fact, the concept of reciprocity is deeply rooted in both east and west cultural traditions. Ancient Roman philosopher Seneca (1995) described the Dance of the Graces in the following manner, “Why are the Graces three in number? …there is one to do the favor, a second to receive it and a third to return it… And what is the point of their holding hands in a dance that goes back on itself? That there is a sequence of kindness, passing from one hand to another, which comes back none the less to the giver, and that the beauty of the whole is lost if the sequence is anywhere interrupted, while it is loveliest if it hangs together and the succession is maintained” (p. 197). The harmonious and uplifting image of the dancing Graces epitomizes collaborative partnership. In Chinese culture, there has been the long-held tradition of viewing reciprocity as the foundation of various kinds of relationship. By tracing the major schools of philosophy in Chinese history, Yang (2009) summarized the essence of Chinese culture with the word “bao” (报 reciprocate and retribute). It can be regarded as a gluing force that connects the members of society together, while in the meanwhile, it serves as the guiding principle in the interaction between social members. The key is also mutually beneficial. Hayhoe’s (2007) portrait of influential Chinese educators also touches upon this feature in cross-cultural experience. When describing Xie Xide, the great scientist and educator who received education both in China and abroad, one of her colleagues notes, “Madam Xie seems to me a fine product of both Chinese and Western culture. She was like a shining ball – Westerners tended to see its Chinese side, while Chinese saw its Western side. She was actually a perfect combination or integration of these two” (pp. 202–203). Admittedly, Xie is an exceptional case, but obviously, the ability to learn from other cultures and internalize the newly acquired ideas into a harmonious wholeness with one’s native beliefs is deemed as an admirable trait. In the above comment, the person also emphasizes the balance and roundness of her character, which sets up an ideal for crosscultural encounters. I am also fascinated by this phenomenon and have tried to shed light on potential ways of reciprocity between Canadian and Chinese cultures by taking a deep look into the parenting practice of Chinese immigrant families, thus echoing and complementing the research

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findings of Xu (2017) in the opening book of the Reciprocal Learning book series. To adapt to a new culture and thrive in this process demands a flexible and open attitude. I embark on this research with the intention of unraveling the cross-cultural experience of Chinese immigrants by scooping up their first-hand life stories. During my doctoral study at OISE/University of Toronto, I was the tenant in a Chinese immigrant family. My landlord’s family immigrated to Canada from mainland China in 2000. Through daily interaction with the family, I noticed that the new environment poses challenges to the parents in their parenting practice and sometimes they even chose inaction since they, on the one hand, could not find a way to successfully communicate their ideas to their daughter, while, on the other hand, they were not sure if their way of parenting was suitable for a child living in a society different from mainland China in various aspects. This couple are not alone in this predicament. I have also made acquaintance with many other immigrants from mainland China. In our social gatherings, much of the conversation revolved around their children’s education and reflection on Canadian and Chinese school systems. Unanimously, the parents found Chinese school system highly demanding. Fierce competition and heavy workload leave the children barely no time for extracurricular activities. In the meanwhile, the schools in Canada do not exactly match the parents’ imagination. The parents have many concerns about their children’s school life in Canada, ranging from course content, ESL status, to school marks, social networking, university dropout, low motivation, and bullying issues. During these conversations, many Chinese parents stated that some aspects of the Canadian schools were different from or even ran counter to their expectation before they came here. The most coveted features of Canadian schools such as lighter workload, greater freedom, richer extracurricular activities, and greater chance of receiving post-secondary education, turned out to present new challenges for both the children and the parents. Some of these parents used to think that getting their children into a Canadian high school would guarantee admission to a post-secondary institute upon graduation. They regarded immigration as an alternative way for their children to get high-quality postsecondary education when their chances of passing the formidable gaokao (the National College Entrance Exam) seemed to be slim. The children going to universities would mean “mission accomplished” for the parents, but all of a sudden, some parents found themselves faced with the new situation where their children quit school in the middle of pursuing

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the bachelor’s degree, which proved to be the biggest nightmare for an immigrant family who has limited social capital in their adopted country. Bourdieu (1986) defined social capital as “the aggregate of the actual or potential resources which are linked to possession of a durable network of more or less institutionalized relationships of mutual acquaintance and recognition” (p. 248). And the “volume of the social capital possessed by a given agent…depends on the size of the network of connections he can effectively mobilize and on the volume of the capital (economic, cultural, or symbolic) possessed in his own right by each of those to whom he is connected” (p. 249). For Chinese immigrant parents who find their children drop out of school, there are not many resources for them to resort to in order to help their children find some alternative ways toward success. According to the studies on immigrant families in Canada, many parents cite better education and career opportunities for their children as the major reason for immigrating (Anisef, Kilbride, Ochocka, & Janzen, 2001; Trueba, Cheng, & Ima, 1993). From my contact with many Chinese immigrant parents, their children’s school education more or less becomes the focal point of their life in Canada. Even for those who do not view their children’s schooling as a major factor in their decision to immigrate, their focus undergoes change as their families settle down in Canada. Their children’s induction into an educational system different from their own later proved to be an anchor for the whole family to stay put in the new place despite some maladjustment on the parts of the parents. These parents agree that continuity in their children’s education is very important. What’s more, there are many differences between the two systems, and if they pull their children out of their new school in Canada, they are afraid that their children would not be able to refit into the Chinese system. I heard many parents comment on this by saying, “If they (referring to their children) go back to a Chinese school, they will surely fail in their studies.” To ensure continuity of their children’s education, some parents choose to migrate between Canada and China. Such families are described in the literature as astronaut families, and the children are referred to as satellite children, or parachute children (Chiang, 2008; Goldstein, 2007; Lam, 1994; Tsang, Irving, Alaggia, Chau, & Benjamin, 2003; van den Hemel, 1996). “The astronaut family arrangement can be seen as a strategy of family survival to balance the multiple agendas of political security, developmental and educational needs of the children, financial well-being, family cohesiveness, and quality of life” (Tsang et al., 2003, p. 360).

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In my research, two families lead such a life, but they would refer to this phenomenon as niulang (牛郎) and zhinv (织女), a life style that originates from a beautiful Chinese folklore story. In the story, the beautiful daughter of the Goddess of Heaven got tired of the life in heaven. She flew down to earth secretively and fell in love with niulang (牛郎), a cowherd. They enjoyed marital bliss and had two children. The Goddess was furious that zhinv married a mere mortal and forced her to go back to Heaven where she belonged. Niulang ’s ox, who had magical power, helped him and his two children to fly up to the sky to look for zhinv. The Goddess used her hairpin to scratch a wide river yinhe (银河, which means Milky Way) in the sky to separate the lovers forever. But once a year, out of their deep sympathy, all the magpies in the world would fly up into the sky to form a bridge so that the lovers could be together for a single night, which is the seventh night of the seventh moon (You, 2000, pp. 70–73). The fact that the parents referred to themselves as niulang and zhinv bespeaks the emotional difficulties and the sense of helplessness in such a family life arrangement. Also, it shows their cultural background, and even their children may not know or understand the story behind the self-designation of niulang and zhinv.

1.2

Life in Transition

In the past two decades, mainland China has been one of the top source countries of immigrants in Canada (Citizenship and Immigration Canada, 2017). Among all the cities in Canada, Toronto is the number one landing place for newcomer families, topping the chart with the staggering number of 81,368 in 2016 (p. 25). In the meantime, with the surge in immigration, the Chinese community in Toronto is also undergoing rapid growth. Chinatown in downtown Toronto is one of the largest Chinatowns in North America, and one of several major Chinese communities in the Greater Toronto Area. A Chinese immigrant living in Toronto can read newspapers, watch TV, listen to the radio, do their banking, and see the doctor all in the Chinese language. Every aspect of their life is covered by services in Chinese, except their children’s education. A teacher from one of the Toronto schools commented on this phenomenon. He shared with me the following story. During his visit to a school in Shanghai, he showed the local students a picture of his class in Toronto. It took the students by surprise to see the high percentage of Chinese students in a Canadian classroom. “…even the teachers were surprised to find that our

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community is very insular, you know, Chinese community settle in one area. They thought that they would mingle more, mix, spread more.” This phenomenon is easy to understand, because for newcomers, they naturally look for support from their former compatriots who could pass on their precious settlement experience to the newly arrived immigrants. To help the new immigrants have a smooth transition into the new environment, many settlement services are provided by the provincial government of Ontario and the city government of Toronto. Gagné’s resource book for educators and immigrant families (2007) best demonstrates the variety and richness of help and support provided by Canadian government and society. When they first land in Canada, each immigrant family will receive a whole package of handbooks and pamphlets for newcomer families, in which the most important one is called Arrival Survival Canada: A Handbook for New Immigrants (Noorani & Noorani, 2008). When I read through this book for my research, I found that it contains the most useful information for a newcomer family. It provides information on medical care, accommodation, banking, employment, education, driving, the law, and even customs and etiquette. It also contains a thorough list of websites of organizations that provides newcomer assistance in different provinces. Take resources in the educational field as an example, in Toronto District School Board (TDSB), the EarlyON Child and Family Centre program is provided. There were 78 locations for this program at different elementary schools across Toronto. The rationale for the program was to strengthen pre-school education. Children from age 0–6 could attend the program and develop their literacy and numeracy skills as well as social skills even before they started formal education. It could also serve the purpose of early diagnosis. Parents could know earlier the areas and skills that their children particularly had difficulties with. A permanent teacher was assigned at each location. The teacher was hired and paid by the government instead of the school. Parents could choose to attend sessions any time they wanted without pre-registration. However, parents had the responsibility to look after their children during sessions. Another purpose of this program will be to make connections for families so that the parents know the accessibility and availability of various resources and social supports (https://www.tdsb.on.ca/parenting). For Chinese immigrant families, usually grandparents attend such programs, as the parents are busy making a living. The grandparents could meet many parents and children from China, which would help relieve the loneliness

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these elderly people felt in an environment where they could not function confidently because of the language deficiency. Xu’s (2017) research on cross-cultural schooling experiences of Chinese immigrant families gives detailed accounts of the touching stories that took place in such centers. It is a great pity that none of the mothers in my research made full use of such services. It takes a community’s joint efforts to recognize the value of such programs.

1.3

Research Questions

In the context of Chinese immigrant families’ experience with the Canadian schooling, I want to explore the following questions: How do Chinese immigrant parents adapt to the Canadian school system? How does their parenting practice change as a result of their encounter with the Canadian school system? What can Canadian educators learn from Chinese culture and educational philosophy in their interaction with Chinese immigrant students and their parents? Chinese immigrant parents’ discussions about their children’s school education in daily conversations, Chinese online forums, and my own observation of Canadian schools triggered my research interest in Chinese immigrant parents’ adjustment to the Canadian school system. In the literature on immigrants in Canada, there has been extensive reporting on relationships in immigrant families, which often focuses on the intergenerational conflict and the settlement process (Creese, Dyck, & McLaren, 1999; Kilbride, Anisef, Baichman-Anisef, & Khattar, 2001; Li & Yao, 2012; Tyyska, 2008). According to the research, many immigrant families experienced role shift because sometimes the male head of the household might not be able to find a job, while the mother had greater flexibility by accepting menial jobs. This situation resulted in a drop in social status as compared with their life before immigration. Children in such families usually quickly gained English language skills and they soon acted as interpreters for their parents. This obviously undermined the authority of the parents (Ali & Kilbride, 2004; Anisef et al., 2001; Creese et al., 1999; Grewal, Bottroff, & Hilton, 2005). However, I find the bulk of research on immigrant experiences in North America delves deeply into different aspects of the living experiences of one point five and second-generation immigrants, ranging from bicultural identity, social networking, psychosocial integration, acculturation, to prospects in the job market (Alba, 2005; Boyd, 2002; Boyd & Grieco,1998; Breton, Isajiw, Kalbach, & Reitz, 1990; Cummins, 2001;

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Gans, 1992; Portes & Zhou, 1993; Yinger, 1981; Zhou, 1997). Also, much research has been done to cover the schooling of one point five and second-generation immigrants—their classroom behavior, interaction with classmates, English language learning, and code switching between their native language and English (Goldstein, 2003; Hernandez, 1997; Norton, 2000). As I read the literature on immigrant experiences in North America, I felt that the accounts about the family culture of second-generation Chinese Canadian youths are rather sketchy, and the parents’ voices are rarely represented. Also, there tends to be a stereotypical picture about Chinese immigrants. As Xu (2006) has pointed out in her study of the newcomer Chinese families’ experience in the Canadian educational system, the stories told from the parents’ perspectives, “point to a Canadian multicultural discourse that has categorized the Chinese as one of the visible minorities who have been perceived as ethnically ‘othered’ Canadians with static cultural values and practices in their cultural heritages that are homogenized. Moreover, the newcomers are perceived more as the ones who need to adapt to their new life rather than as people who contribute valuable social, cultural, economical and educational resources to the increasingly diverse society” (p. 6). From my own research experience, I think that there are several reasons for such an absence of the parents’ opinions, and the stereotypical picture of Chinese immigrants. One is the language barrier, and the other is that immigrant parents are very busy making a living to support the family, and cannot spare time to participate in their children’s school activities, or a longitudinal research conducted by university professors. The parents want to play the supportive role and be the plus factor for their children in their school life. If due to their language incompetence, they cannot advocate for their children in school affairs or communicate productively with teachers, they’d rather recede into the background and offer help with other means. From my interaction with the Chinese immigrant families, I think it is equally important to present immigrant parents’ ideas and opinions on their children’s education. Family life plays an important role in a child’s identity development. Chinese parents are known for their invested interest in and dedication to their children’s education. This is often linked back to the Confucian tradition in China that reveres education (Hsu, 1953; Liang, 1975; Lin, 1956; Tung, 2000). I have known many Chinese parents whose spare time revolves solely around managing their children’s study. Some parents would give up their career for the sake of their children. For instance, in a BBC documentary entitled Chinese School, a

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mother in Anhui (安徽) province quit her job to take care of her daughter who was in the last year of high school. The parents felt that the time was precious for their daughter and they did not want her to commute to school. But they did not want her to board at the school either, because the conditions of the dormitory were not that good. They decided to rent a room for their daughter near her school. The rented room did not include a kitchen, so every day the mother cooked at home, and came over twice to bring her daughter the meals. At night, she would stay with her daughter. Even though the family members all stayed in the same city, they lived in two different places and the mother devoted her time and care to her daughter (Blades, 2008). One of the participants in my research also mentioned that one of her former colleagues quit her job to accompany her daughter in her school life. To understand the magnitude of such decisions, we need a little background knowledge of Chinese society since the foundation of the People’s Republic of China. In the efforts to break away from the former social system and unleash the great productive power of women in helping build the economy, a great liberation movement of women swept through the entire country. The high-ranking woman official Deng Yingchao stated that the traditional value which held women as weak, ineffectual, and inferior to men must be shattered, and replaced with the new attitude that upheld women as capable as men (All-China Women’s Federation, 1988). Growing up in such an environment, I took my own independence for granted, and it was a cultural encounter in its literal sense that drove home the significance of my upbringing in molding my independent character. I met a Chinese lady from Singapore on a social occasion. When she learned that I came to Canada all by myself, and my husband stayed in China, she was astounded, “You girls from mainland China are really independent and courageous, you know, in Singapore and Taiwan, girls were taught to be docile and obedient to their husbands. I can never imagine coming to Canada without my husband.” The shock I received from this conversation was by no means less than her surprise. It had never occurred to me that I could be a contented housewife without pursuing any career. Just as I mentioned above, the liberation movement of women ever since the early twentieth century has challenged the traditional value which banned women from the public sphere. The education I received ever since primary school was that “Women hold up half of the sky,” a propaganda slogan from the government. Girls could also be scientists, doctors, engineers as long as they put their hearts into it. I love my family, but the idea of becoming a dependent of my husband is so foreign

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to me. So is the case with the mothers in the above-mentioned example. The decision to give up one’s career in pursuit of the best-quality education experience for the children means great sacrifice on the parts of the women with deep psychological impact. This partly increases the stakes invested in the children’s education and adds extra pressure on the part of the children to strive for better academic performance. Such a phenomenon is a new trend in Chinese society. For the rising middle class, the investment in the child’s education is the surest way to consolidate the family’s social status, and achieve upward mobility where possible. Such practice of taking advantage of educational opportunity as the vehicle for improving the living conditions is common in human society. In her ethnographic study of the making of virtuosos, Wagner (2015) points out how Jewish people paved the way toward a better life for the whole family by investing in the musical education of the child, “The large presence of Jewish musicians in Eastern Europe started under tsarist jurisdiction. The members of Jewish communities were not allowed to live in the center of towns, except in rare cases. One of the exceptions was the enrollment of a child from a Jewish family in music conservatories… This explains why so many bourgeois Jewish families offered their children the highest level of musical education” (p. 242). For Chinese immigrant families, education also seems to be the most fair and accessible path toward a better life. What’s more, the immigrant parents themselves are greatly influenced by the Chinese tradition that highly values education. Interestingly, many of the Chinese immigrant parents feel the pressure from their relatives, friends, former colleagues, or classmates in China to invest more in their children’s education. As I have mentioned before, many parents immigrated so that their children would have a better education and a better future. Naturally, they did not want their children to lag behind their peers in China in any aspect of their education. As Internet has become a way of life for modern people, it is easy for immigrant parents to keep pace with the latest trends, hottest topics, and sensational cover stories in Chinese society. The exponential development of the communication app WeChat developed by the Chinese company Tencent further facilitates overseas Chinese in their correspondence with their relatives and friends in China. A news report on NBC news thus describes this instant-messaging app, “Part Facebook, part Twitter, part WhatsApp, WeChat helps to forge social connections among groups of people with similar interests, in everything from consumerism to politics.

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And it also provides its 1 billion monthly active users worldwide with news and information” (Fuchs, 2018). I have personal experience with this type of communication. I joined my college alumni WeChat group of 72 members. A few members are now living abroad (in Canada, UK, and US), while the majority of the members live in different regions of China. Since we majored in English Language Teaching for our BA degree, the majority of my college classmates worked in education-related areas, and it is only natural that many of our online conversations focused on educational topics. Such discussions reveal how educational issues are highly contextualized and defined by local culture and policy. The tension that is palpable in such discussions shows how emotionally and intellectually involved the parents are when their children’s education is concerned. For example, when one member who stays in the States shows concern about the inadequacy of drill exercise in computational skills, another member who lives in China would view it as a blessing that the kids do not have a heavy workload. They naturally take up different stances toward the same practice because they view it within a different framework of reference. This, in a way, illustrates that it is a daunting task to achieve reciprocal learning between cultures. It requires deep understanding of both cultures and the goodwill for cultural exchange. It is important to get the opinions and views of Chinese immigrants also because their life stories do not gain much publicity and coverage in mainstream media. Yet on the grassroots level, the Chinese community is actively engaged in an ongoing discussion about variegated topics concerning their settlement process in Canada. There are Chinese websites based in major cities of North America and such sites have become a haven for overseas Chinese who feel left out by the local social life and try to find a platform to air their fermenting opinions and ideas. These websites also include employment advertisements, rental information, and flea markets. Yet their voice has not reached beyond the Chinese community due to the language barrier. I feel better positioned to understand and interpret the cross-cultural experiences of immigrants from mainland China, since I come from the same country. This is the reason why I choose immigrants from mainland China as the subject of my research. These Chinese immigrant parents are in the vantage point of observing and reflecting on the respective features of Canadian and Chinese cultures and school systems. I have explored in my research the parents’ adjustment to the Canadian schooling. These stories may also help educators to have a clearer understanding of their Chinese students’ family

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culture, thus shedding light on ways of better communication with Chinese immigrant parents. Ideally, the dancing circle of reciprocal learning could be achieved among the students, educators, and the parents. In the book, I also draw upon the research work I have done in the SSHRCfunded project entitled “Shanghai-Toronto-Beijing Sister School” (abbreviated as Sister School project in future discussion of this book). I acted as Research Assistant for the Sister School project and the theme of this research has tied in well with my research on Chinese immigrant parents and helped enrich the discussions.

1.4

Outline of the Book

My interest in the research topic is closely related to my own experience as an international student in Canada. Like my research participants, I was also learning about Canadian schools and culture by cross-referencing them with Chinese schools and culture. Some of my long-held ideas and opinions were challenged and underwent changes because of the encounter with a new culture and system. My research questions grew out of my lived experience in Canada and could be viewed as an entry point in getting to know the family life of Chinese immigrant students. Including this chapter, this book contains seven chapters. Chapter 2 explores relevant cultural theories to provide the theoretical framework for the research. The comparison between Chinese culture and Western culture lays the foundation for the interpretation and understanding of Chinese immigrants’ cross-cultural experiences. I also review the research on Chinese immigrant parents’ encounters with schooling in North America. Some of the research focused on the relationship between the parents’ expectation and the students’ achievement, while others focused on parent-teacher relations. Border pedagogy was one of the effective methods in addressing the question of how to better improve the school-family relations. These research findings provide new insights into my research participants’ experience with Canadian schools. Chapter 3 expostulates on the narrative inquiry methodology employed in the study. I give the rationale for my choice of narrative inquiry, and how it best serves the purpose of my study. I give a detailed account of my fieldwork, and the methods I employed in analyzing the data. I dedicate one section to the discussion of the limitations of my current study. In Chapter 4, I discuss the intergenerational relationships in Chinese immigrant families. To understand Chinese immigrant parents’ encounter

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with Canadian schooling, it is important to first understand the interaction between the parents and their children in the family. I will discuss the Chinese parenting style, and the challenges in parenting practice when the parents’ expectations, and cultural habits cannot be understood or accepted by their children as they absorbed new ideas, and values from the school, that were different from the parents’ long-held beliefs. The language factor plays a significant role in parent-child relations. As the children received education in English, and their usage of the Chinese language was limited to basic daily interaction at home, there tended to be a gap between the two generations. Chapter 5 depicts the parents’ views on Canadian schools. There are great differences between Chinese and Canadian schools in terms of curriculum content, teaching style, school setting, classroom arrangement, course selection, and college recruitment process. The mothers in my study gradually learned about the features of Canadian schools, and they used their knowledge and experience with Chinese schools as a frame of reference, and started to form their judgment as to what they could do to help and support their children in their study. I then discuss the challenges for the parents when they try to get more involved in their children’s school life. Chapter 6 deals with the parents’ interaction with other Chinese immigrant parents, which constitutes the major source of information for them as far as Canadian schooling is concerned. This is also the major form of social networking for the parents in my study. Another major source of information comes from the virtual community, where Chinese immigrant parents sought advice, exchanged information, downloaded useful materials on various aspects of Canadian schooling. Chapter 7 discusses the major findings of the whole book, making connections and associations among the three major themes, and engaging in theoretical deliberation of the research. I also make some reflections on the challenges faced by reciprocal learning between Canadian and Chinese cultures. The last chapter concludes the whole book by discussing the possibility and direction for further research, and its significance in facilitating better understanding of Chinese immigrant parents and their children’s cross-cultural experience.

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References Alba, R. (2005). Bright vs. blurred boundaries: Second generation assimilation and exclusion in France, Germany and the United States. Ethnic and Racial Studies, 28(1), 20–49. Ali, M., & Kilbride, K. (2004). Forging new ties: Improving parenting and family support services for new Canadians with young children. Ottawa: Human Resources and Skills Development Canada. All-China Women’s Federation. (1988). Selected articles on women’s liberation by Cai Chang, Deng Yingchao and Kang Keqing. Beijing: The People’s Publishing House. Anisef, P., Kilbride, K. M., Ochocka, J., & Janzen, R. (2001). Parenting issues of newcomer families in Ontario. Kitchener: Centre for Research and Education in Human Services and Centre of Excellence for Research on Immigration and Settlement. Blades, P. (Producer). (2008). The year of the golden pig (Episode. 1). In Chinese Schools. London: BBC Worldwide Ltd. Bourdieu, P. (1986). The forms of capital. In J. G. Richardson (Ed.), Handbook of theory and research for the sociology of education. New York: Greenwood Press. Boyd, M. (2002). Educational achievements of immigrant offspring: Success or segmented assimilation? International Migration Review, 36(4), 1037–1060. Boyd, M., & Grieco, E. M. (1998). Triumphant transitions: Socioeconomic achievements of the second generation in Canada. International Migration Review, 32(4), 853–876. Breton, R., Isajiw, W. W., Kalbach, W. E., & Reitz, J. G. (1990). Ethnic identity and equality: Varieties of experience in a Canadian city. Toronto: University of Toronto Press. Chiang, L. N. (2008). ‘Astronaut families’: Transnational lives of middle-class Taiwanese married women in Canada. Social & Cultural Geography, 9(5), 505–518. Citizenship and Immigration Canada. (2017). Canada facts and figures 2016: Immigration overview. Available: http://www.cic.gc.ca/opendatadonneesouvertes/data/Facts_and_Figures_2016_PR_EN.pdf [June 2019]. Connelly, F. M., & Xu, S. J. (2019). Reciprocal learning in the partnership project: From knowing to doing in comparative research models. Teachers and Teaching: Theory and Practice, 25(6), 627–646. Creese G., Dyck, I., & McLaren, A. (1999). Reconstituting the family: Negotiating immigration and settlement (Working Paper 99-10). Vancouver: RIIM. Cummins, J. (2001). Negotiating identities: Education for empowerment in a diverse society. Los Angeles: CABE. Fuchs, C. (2018, June 25). What is WeChat? Chinese-language app could be fueling Chinese-American conservatism. NBC News. Retrieved on August 12,

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2019 from https://www.nbcnews.com/news/asian-america/how-chineselanguage-social-media-may-help-fuel-chinese-american-n883386. Gagné, A. (Ed.). (2007). Growing new roots: The voices of immigrant families and the teachers of their children. Resource book for educators and immigrant families. Toronto, ON: OISE/UT. Gans, H. (1992). Second generation decline: Scenarios for the economic and ethnic futures of the post-1965 America immigrants. Ethnic and Racial Studies, 15, 173–192. Goldstein, T. (2003). Teaching and learning in a multilingual school: Choices, risks, and dilemmas. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. Goldstein, T. (2007). Educating world teachers for cosmopolitan classrooms and schools. Asia Pacific Journal of Education, 27 (2), 131–155. Grewal, S., Bottroff, J., & Hilton, A. (2005). The influence of family on immigrant South Asian women’s health. Journal of Family Nursing, 11(3), 242– 263. Hayhoe, R. (2007). Portraits of influential Chinese educators. Dordrecht: Springer Science & Business Media. Hernandez, H. (1997). Teaching in multilingual classrooms: A teacher’s guide to context, process, and content. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall. Hsu, F. L. K. (1953). Americans and Chinese: Two ways of life. New York: Henry Schuman. Kilbride, K. M., Anisef, P., Baichman-Anisef, E., & Khattar R. (2001). Between two worlds: The experiences and concerns of immigrant youth in Ontario. Toronto, ON: Joint Centre of Excellence for Research on Immigration and Settlement (CERIS). Lam, L. (1994). Searching for a safe haven: The migration and settlement of Hong Kong Chinese immigrants in Toronto. In R. Skeldon (Ed.), Reluctant exiles: Migration from Hong Kong and the new overseas Chinese (pp. 163–179). New York: M. E. Sharpe. Li, Q., & Yao, Z. (2012). Second generation Chinese American immigrants and their identity. World Ethnicity, 1, 52–59. Liang, S. (1975). The spirit of Chinese culture. Taipei, Taiwan: Zheng Zhong Press. Lin, Y. (1956). My country and my people. London: William Heinemann Ltd. Noorani, N., & Noorani, S. (2008). Arrival survival Canada: A handbook for new immigrants. Toronto, ON: Oxford University Press. Norton, B. (2000). Identity and language learning: Gender, ethnicity and educational change. New York: Longman. Portes, A., & Zhou, M. (1993). Interminority affairs in the US: Pluralism at the crossroads. Annals of the American Academy of Political and Social Science, 530, 74–96.

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Seneca. (1995). Moral and political essays (J. M. Cooper, Ed. and Trans.), Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Trueba, H. T., Cheng, L., & Ima, K. (1993). Myth or reality: Adaptive strategies of Asian Americans in California. Washington, DC: Falmer Press. Tsang, A., Irving, H., Alaggia, R., Chau, S., & Benjamin, M. (2003). Negotiating ethnic identity in Canada: The case of the “satellite children”. Youth and Society, 34(3), 359–384. Tung, May Pao-may. (2000). Chinese Americans and their immigrant parents: Conflict, identity, and values. New York: Haworth Clinical Practice Press. Tyyska, V. (2008). Parents and teens in immigrant families: Cultural influences and material pressures. Canadian Diversity, 6(2), 79–83. van den Hemel. (1996). Satellite kids say teens shouldn’t be left alone. The Review, p. 3. Wagner, I. (2015). Producing excellence: The making of virtuosos. New Jersey: Rutgers University Press. Xu, S. J. (2006). In search of home on landscapes in transition: Narratives of newcomer families’ cross-cultural schooling experience. Unpublished Doctoral Dissertation, University of Toronto, Canada. Xu, S. J. (2017). Cross-cultural schooling experiences of Chinese immigrant families: In search of home in times of transition. New York: Springer Palgrave Macmillan. Yang. (2009). The meaning of bao bao bao in Chinese culture. Ch’ien Mu Lecture Series. Hong Kong: The Chinese University Press. Yinger, J. M. (1981). Towards a theory of assimilation and dissimilation. Ethnic and Racial Studies, 4, 249–264. You, M. (Ed.). (2000). Chinese folklore series: Mythology. Shanghai: Shanghai Literature and Art Publishing House. Zhou, M. (1997). Segmented assimilation: Issues, controversies, and recent research on the new second generation. International Migration Review, 31(4), 975–1008.

CHAPTER 2

Cross-Cultural Perspectives on Chinese Immigrant Parents’ Experience

This chapter explores the research that informs my present study. The purpose of my study is to have a better understanding of Chinese immigrant mothers’ views on their children’s education in Canada. Immersed in both Chinese and Canadian cultures, immigrant parents and their children are actively engaged in cross-cultural dialogues. In the interpretation of the stories of the mothers in my study, I am greatly influenced by the studies on Chinese culture, and the relationship between Chinese and Western cultures, which lay the ground for understanding the Chinese family culture, and intergenerational interaction patterns. Then I review the research on Chinese immigrant parents’ encounters with schooling in North America. Border pedagogy illuminates new ways for building better parent-school relations, which is also endowed with the spirit of reciprocity.

2.1 Comparative Studies of Chinese and Western Cultures The relationship between Chinese and Western cultures has fascinated Chinese scholars ever since Western culture was systematically introduced into China around the seventeenth century. Among such studies, there has been a lot of comparison done between Chinese and Western cultures, and the purpose of such comparison has been mainly trying to find © The Author(s) 2020 X. Chi, Cross-Cultural Experiences of Chinese Immigrant Mothers in Canada, Intercultural Reciprocal Learning in Chinese and Western Education, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-46977-1_2

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out the weaknesses in Chinese culture, and to learn from the Western culture (Ho, 1994; Hsu, 1953; Hu, 1996; Lin, 1956). Before this cultural movement, the dominant ideological system in Chinese society was Confucianism. It became influential after it was adopted as the official ethical and philosophical system around 200 BC by the government in the Han dynasty. Ever since, it had enjoyed a dominant position in every aspect of Chinese life. The situation changed at the later stage of the Qing dynasty (1644–1912). The Western world underwent revolutionary changes during the late nineteenth century and early twentieth century as a result of the process of industrialization, while China at that time was still a country relying on agriculture. Its closed-door foreign policy did not protect it from the invasion of Western countries. Starting from 1800 to 1895, the Qing dynasty was under constant military threat by Western countries, and its neighboring Russia and Japan. The defense of the Qing dynasty collapsed in confrontation with Western weaponry and warships. And treaties were signed where the Qing government gave out land, large amounts of money, and some sovereign rights (Hsu, 1999). As the country was in the danger of being divided among various foreign countries, Chinese people started to scrutinize their culture and government to find the causes for the humiliating experience at the hands of the invaders. The purpose of learning about Western culture was thus summarized by Wei Yuan, a famous scholar in the Qing dynasty, in the introduction to his book entitled World Geography Records, “to learn from the advanced technologies in the West in order to resist the invasion of the Western powers” (Wei, 2011, p. 11).1 As a result, the May Fourth Movement (1919–1921) started, “The movement was directed toward national independence, emancipation of the individual, and rebuilding society and culture.” This movement was also called the New Culture Movement, which “attacked traditional Confucian ideas and exalted Western ideas, particularly science and democracy” (Encyclopedia Britannica, 1993, p. 969). In retrospect, a Confucian scholar at Peking University hailed the movement by saying that the anti-Confucius movement in fact saved Confucianism by pulling it down from the sacred shrine, and juxtaposing it alongside other traditional schools of thoughts (Li, 2007, p. 6). It did liberate minds of the scholars and give them alternative ways to view Confucianism. Withstanding the test of time, Confucianism retains its grip over Chinese society. The best evidence of the far-reaching influence of Confucian

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philosophy in Chinese society is that many of the teachings of Confucius have become idioms in the Chinese language and spread so widely that even people who have received little formal education know these idioms and apply them in their daily life. I first picked up such idioms when I was a little girl, and years later, when I read the Analects, I experienced great pleasure that can be likened to reunion with old friends in recognizing the source of those idioms. The sayings that influenced me the most are the following, “What he himself does not want, let him not do it to others” (Brooks & Brooks, 1998, p. 90). “I daily examine myself in three ways. In planning on behalf of others, have I been disloyal? In associating with friends, have I been unfaithful? What has been transmitted to me, have I not rehearsed?” (p. 146). My teachers also liked to quote Confucius in their teaching. One of my Chinese language teachers, who was known for his erudition and sharp tongue, quoted Confucius when he criticized one of my classmates, “Rotten wood cannot be carved” (p. 23), meaning that he was a hopeless case and could not be taught. This episode left a deep impression on me for the pungency of the remark. I would often revisit this scene as a teacher and ask myself such questions: Is this kind of shaming practice conducive to improvement in student performance? If the answer were affirmative, could it redeem the harm the student felt when thus humiliated in front of the whole class? These questions still accompany me in my double role as an educator and researcher. With Confucianism, there has been an interesting phenomenon in mainland China in recent years. There is a revival of interest in the Confucian classics among scholars and the public alike (Li, 2007; Yu, 2006). Hundreds of books on Confucian classics are on the shelves of book stores. Former President Hu Jintao first brought up the concept of “harmonious society” in 2004, which is often viewed as the Chinese government’s appeal to such traditional Confucian values as harmony, and kindness (http://www.china.com.cn/chinese/2004/Sep/668376. htm). These measures are regarded as the counter-force to correct the issue of widespread corruption among government officials at that time. President Xi Jinping elevates the traditional values to a new level by referring to the core values of Confucianism on many different occasions. He also gave a speech at the Opening Ceremony of the International Conference in Commemoration of the 2565th Anniversary of Confucius’ Birth and the fifth Congress of the International Confucian Association, which is regarded as an unprecedented gesture to pay homage to Confucius (http://theory.people.com.cn/GB/40557/389563/). Against this

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backdrop, it might be easier to understand the far-reaching influence of Chinese traditional culture on people’s mind-set. In my present research, I notice that the participants quote Confucius from time to time, especially when they talk about Chinese cultural values that they want their children to inherit. This also provides a framework of reference for understanding the participants’ views on cultural and educational issues during the process of settling into the Canadian society.

2.2

Distinctive Features of Chinese Culture

When I try to view the Chinese immigrant parents’ experience from a cultural perspective, I find this endeavor itself illuminating and rewarding. Many aspects in daily life which I used to regard as matter-of-fact routines acquire new meaning and raise new questions when they are contextualized within the intersection of Canadian and Chinese cultures. As China has more frequent and extensive exchanges with the rest of the world, Chinese culture also undergoes changes by absorbing features from other cultures. I want to first map out some of the features of Chinese culture which are widely acknowledged, and I find it a good place to start by resorting to the theories developed by the renowned Chinese scholar Liang Shuming. According to Encyclopedia Britannica (1993), Liang Shuming (born 1893, Guilin, Guangxi province—died 1988, Beijing) was “a neo-Confucian philosopher and writer who attempted to demonstrate the relevance of Confucianism to China’s problems in the twentieth century” (p. 325). In his book entitled Zhongguo wen hua yao yi (The Spirit of Chinese Culture), Liang (1975) analyzed the modernity process of China in the early 1900s and systematically laid down the differences between Chinese and Western cultures. Liang (1975) pointed out that Chinese culture has the great ability to learn from other cultures and adapt the new elements from other cultures into a lively part of Chinese culture. A Japanese scholar noted this phenomenon: Nestorianism was introduced into China in Tang Dynasty (AD 635). Christian missionary activities were active all through Ming and Qing Dynasties. The history of Christianity in China is by no means short, yet the family system in China has never been challenged. In the meanwhile, there is the tendency of Chinese Christians functioning within the family system. Buddhism enjoyed a much longer history in China, and it’s no exaggeration

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to say that Buddhism has surrendered to the family system. This is a world miracle. We refer to these facts when we say that there is unfathomable gap between Chinese and Western society. (as cited in Liang, 1975, p. 36)

Such comments on a grand scale can also apply to the participants in my research, who depicted an open attitude toward Canadian culture, while at the same time, tried to make sense of the new cultural features by crossreferencing them with Chinese culture. Of course, there is great variance among individuals within the same culture, and we can easily cite individual examples to refute generalization about any given culture. But it is important to bear in mind that the purpose of cultural studies does not aim for accurate description of individual behavior, but strives for understanding of certain patterns, which give structure to sporadic experiences. In the following sections, I will engage in discussions about some features of Chinese culture that help put the Chinese immigrant families’ educational practice and intergenerational relationship into perspective. Maybe one example could better illustrate this point. Pragmatics of Human Communication, a classical work on human communication provides abundant examples on the essential roles played by context when fellow human beings tried to reach each other. The following is one revealing example, “In the garden of a country house, in plain view of passers-by on the sidewalk outside, a bearded man can be observed dragging himself, crouching, round the meadow, in figures of eight, glancing constantly over his shoulder and quacking without interruption” (Watzlawick, Beavin, & Jackson, 1967, p. 20). A group of tourists who happened to pass by were horrified by such seemingly aberrant and crazy behavior. In fact, there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for this. The bearded man was ethologist Konrad Lorenz, and he was carrying out his imprinting experiments with ducklings, in which he took up the role of the ducklings’ mother. Because the ducklings were hidden in the tall grass and were out of the sight of the tourists, no wonder they would be shocked by the eccentric behavior. This example could be borrowed to illustrate the challenges in cross-cultural exchange which takes place under highly contextualized circumstances. Sometimes it takes a close-up look to unravel some fascinating and baffling phenomena, which, in the meantime, provide new insights for a person with entrenched ideas and beliefs. This story could serve as a metaphor for reciprocal learning in intercultural encounters. The grass that shields the ducklings from the sight of the outsiders may loom as wild forest at first encounter, emanating hostility and menace.

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If one is familiarized with the setting, the contour of the whole place will transform itself into a new picture, and the first impression will recede into the background. However, what often happens in reality is that people never give it a second chance before reaching a conclusion. This also echoes Plato’s famous allegory of the cave. The convictions we hold as truth might turn out to be the shadows on the wall. This constitutes one of the major barriers for reciprocal learning across cultures, which requires critical thinking and open-mindedness to achieve deeper understanding that cut across different cultures. 2.2.1

Individualism vs. Collectivism

In the literature on the differences between Western and Chinese culture, a lot of discussions focus on the comparison between individualism and collectivism. Western culture is typically characterized by individualism, while Chinese culture is represented as collectivism (Hsu, 1953; Liang, 1975; Lin, 1956; Xu, 2004). Hsu (1953) defines the American way of life as individual-centered, and the Chinese way as situation-centered. “The situation-centred individual is tied closer to his world and his [sic] fellowmen” (p. 13). This dependence on other people echoes with the interesting phenomenon of guanxi in Chinese society, whose intricacies of rules pose great challenge for those members of the community who lack confidence and skills in inter-personal relations. The participants in my research all mentioned that they wanted their children to receive education in Canada because their individuality would be respected and creativity encouraged. Liang (1975) provided greater insights into this issue by exploring the social and political factors that contributed to the formation of such characteristics. He said that individualism and collectivism were in fact two sides of a coin and should not be viewed as opposite entities. The lack of collective life in Chinese society helped breed close ties within family members, and the individual’s rights were expected to give way to family interests. In other words, the highly demanding duties and responsibilities of the family compensated for the vacuum caused by the absence of collective life in the society. While in the Western society, it is a different story. The importance of collective life helped breed the sense of individualism. An individual would practice his/her rights in the collective life.

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Liang (1975) gave us a very convincing picture of Chinese people’s view towards individualism. He mentioned that when the concept of “liberty” was first introduced into China by the famous translator and scholar Yan Fu, there was no equivalent word that could be found in Chinese vocabulary to capture the meaning of the word. Yan had to coin a new word “ziyou(自由)” (p. 14). In the 1960s, decades after the introduction of Western ideas into Chinese society, most Chinese people would still equal individualism with selfishness (p. 46). Even today, when I talk with many of my Chinese friends, their understanding of individualism in Western culture is a simplified version. They no longer equate individualism with selfishness, but they view it as an absolute respect for a person’s freedom. This might partly explain why they were easily shocked when they found that there were so many tacit rules and codes governing what is deemed as proper manners in Western society. I speak from my own experience. The first things that caught my eyes when I came to Canada are some trivial matters. For example, during my first 14-hour flight to Canada, I sat beside a Caucasian young couple with a several-month-old baby. Sometimes the baby would start crying, and the young dad patiently said to her, “Shh, don’t cry,” as if she were an adult. He would repeat the phrase dozens of times as long as the baby was still crying. Under similar circumstances, Chinese parents would also try every means to comfort the baby, which included a lot of baby talking, and funny face-making, so that the baby would cease crying, but seldom would they try to use an imperative sentence to dissuade the baby from crying. From this instance, I got the impression that the young parents were very aware of the public space they were now in, and they also sent the signal to the baby. A good friend of mine was a high school English teacher in Toronto. Sometimes she invited me to join her fieldtrip with her students. When we were on the subway, I was surprised to hear my friend reprimand her students when they were excitedly engaged in conversations with each other, “Shh, you guys, you are too loud.” Over the years, I met different groups of students on field trips under the supervision of their teachers, and invariably, I would hear the warning from the teacher, “Hey, you guys, you are too loud. Shh!” This is something new for me. I cannot imagine a Chinese high school teacher scolding his/her students for being too loud on the Shanghai subway. The teachers would pretty much leave the students alone as long as they did not get into a fight. I was surprised by the strictness shown by the Canadian teachers and thought to myself,

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“Well, they show great respect for public order.” Another example of this difference was that during social gatherings, Chinese parents gave great allowances for their children’s behavior when they were entertaining guests. If the children ran wild in front of the guests, got into a fight with another child, or teased the guests with their little tricks, the parents were tolerant with that, and dismissed such behavior as “They were just being kids,” even when this happened in a public place such as a restaurant. This laid-back attitude and seeming lack of order in public space evolves from the fact that individual space is not covertly stressed in Chinese culture. 2.2.2

Chinese Family System

According to Feng Youlan (2008), a renowned Chinese scholar, in Chinese society whose production unit is family, people’s dependence on the society is indirect. What they depend on for survival is their family. But with the socialization of production, the production unit of the family is broken. People depend on the society for survival instead of families. In summary, he stressed that economy determines the social and political system. Liang (1975) held different opinions and argued that the impact of the social and political system on the economy should also be taken into consideration, “The buds of science and democracy had also appeared in Chinese history, and even earlier than in the West. They withered and disappeared. They withered because the society developed towards other directions” (p. 42). In Chinese tradition, family has always been regarded as the most important unit in the society. Lin Yutang (1956) has pointed out in his book on Chinese philosophy and culture, Among the cultural forces making for racial stability must be counted first of all the Chinese family system, which was so well-defined and organized as to make it impossible for a man [sic] to forget where his lineage belonged. This form of social immortality, which the Chinese prize above all earthly possessions, has something of a religion, which is enhanced by the ritual of ancestor worship, and the consciousness of it has penetrated deep into the Chinese soul. (p. 32)

The family system teaches Chinese children “the first lessons in social obligations between man and man, the necessity of mutual adjustment, self-control, courtesy, a sense of duty, which is very well defined, a sense

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of obligation and gratitude toward parents, and respect for elders” (Lin, 1956, p. 168). When filial piety and loyalty to one’s family are stressed and hailed as the quintessential virtues of a civilized person, it becomes obvious that the individual self is allocated to an insignificant position. The celebrated Chinese scholar Hu Shih remarks, “In the Confucians’ human-centered philosophy, man [sic] cannot exist alone; all actions must be in a form of interaction between man and man [sic]” (as cited in King, 1985, p. 57). The family system also determines the nature of interpersonal relations in Chinese society. Liang (1975) pointed out that “Chinese people expanded the concept of family and organized the society based on ethical relationship” (p. 81). People are not held accountable to society, but toward other human beings based on whatever relationship they happen to find themselves in. Behind such beliefs is the Confucian ideal in which “the individual should be concerned first and foremost with his place in the scheme of human relations: emperor-subject, father-son, husbandwife, brothers and neighbours” (Hsu, 1953, p. 87). And the relations between emperor and subject, teacher and student are both compared to that between father and son. Mencius has stated that “to acknowledge neither king nor father is to be in the state of a beast” (Legge, 1991, p. 282). Liang (1975) also pointed out that one of the prominent features of this kind of interpersonal relationship is its subtle balance. In interpersonal relations, the emphasis lies on reciprocity. The premise is that one has responsibilities to other persons within his/her social circle. The emperor is to subject as father is to son, and as a result both sides are expected to fulfill their duties to maintain such a relation. One of China’s leading social anthropologists Fei Hsiao-t’ung (1985) compared social relations in Chinese society to the ripples in the river, with the self at the centre. The further away the rippling circle is from the target, the decreasing power the self has over it. The self may create different circles in different times and different places (p. 32). This observation also matches Liang’s (1975) argument that such relationships are quite fluid. Thus, we may have a picture of the social network which we called guanxi in Chinese society. In his book Country Driving, Hessler (2011) is greatly fascinated by the phenomenon of guanxi in Chinese society, “For a Chinese male, nothing captures the texture of guanxi better than cigarettes. They’re a kind of semaphore in a world where much is left unsaid, every gesture with a cigarette means something. You offer a smoke at certain moments, and you receive them at others; the give-and-take establishes

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a level of communication. And sometimes the absence of an exchange marks boundaries” (p. 232). In such exchanges, the brands of cigarettes signify wealth and status and can even distinguish between urban and rural residents. This episode unravels the tacit rules and codes underlying the interpersonal relations, and how guanxi is characterized by reciprocity. To excel in establishing and maintaining such connections usually means influence and privilege. However, as with any social practice, if carried to an extreme, the game of guanxi may bring adverse consequence. In one of the most popular Chinese sitcoms, Stories of the Editors’ Office (Ma, Wang, & Zhao, 1991) there was one episode in which a writer wanted to get her novelette published in the magazine and sought help from her friend, who boasted of knowing many VIPs. It turned out that the ripples he generated were so far from the centre they intended to reach—the editors’ office—that none of the editors would take the words passed to them seriously. Those messengers included their in-law’s classmate’s husband, the janitor in the office building who had been retired for decades, their neighbors’ former colleague’s sister, etc. What a flurry of action with the ripples! This overemphasis on guanxi leads to another noticeable phenomenon, i.e. “lack of public order” (Liang, 1975), since with guanxi people may tamper with certain rules and regulations. Take the traffic problem in China for instance: many visitors to China are baffled by the traffic there. As a novice driver, I have witnessed too many scenes with the driver cutting in front of another car abruptly without signaling, changing his or her mind at the last minute over the highway ramp, or honking impatiently where such behavior is forbidden. Hessler (2011) also noticed such erratic driving behavior when he drove across China, “On the open road it feels like everybody has just been unleashed from a hutong -- there’s a sudden rush of speed and competition, and the greatest thrill comes from passing other motorists. People pass on hills; they pass on turns; they pass in tunnels. If they get passed themselves, they immediately try to pass the other vehicle back, as if it were a game” (p. 29). The number one rule here seems to get to one’s destination as soon as possible. If needed, the traffic rules could be bent.

2.3 Rearing the Children to Provide for Old Age Chinese people invest substantially in their relations, expecting their investment to pay off in terms of both emotional and material reward. In this way, interpersonal relationships are characterized by possessiveness.

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One is the possessor of the other in the sense that he/she is expected to return the investment as if he/she were a piece of stock or real estate, whose value will increase. In the meantime, the investment also involves a deep emotional attachment. In this sense, possession is also a kind of dependence. This partly accounts for the phenomenon of parents imposing their will on their children, for in some sense, the parents feel they “own” their children. When the parents invest so much energy and emotion in their children, they feel they are entitled to obedience and respect from the children. In Chinese culture obedience and modesty are heavily stressed traits for the young (Chao, 1996; Ho, 1994; Hsu, 1953; Lin, 1956; Siu, 1994). When Chinese parents manifestly show their children how much they have sacrificed for their welfare, there is an implicit message that they expect rewards from the next generation for the hardships they have gone through. There is a deeply rooted tradition in Chinese culture that “the son not only has to follow the Confucian dictum that ‘parents are always right,’ but at all times and in all circumstances he must try to satisfy their wishes and look after their safety” (Hsu, 1953, p. 73). There is an old Chinese saying, “Rear the children to provide for the old age.” In some sense, children are regarded as a kind of asset, whose “market value” will be closely linked with the welfare and prosperity of the parents. Parents shame their children by comparing them with some “model” son or daughter in their social circle who generously showers their elders with gifts. In recent years, there has been a shift in attitude with the new generation of parents, who have a stable job and relative financial security when they retire. The parents may not rely on the next generation for financial reasons, but because of the single-child policy, the child in the family is destined to be the sole receiver of the parents’ full attention and smothering care, which naturally ends in high expectation for the child. Many of my Chinese immigrant friends like to remind their children how much they have sacrificed for them. The usual arguments that I heard are: We have given up everything in China to come to this place. Our social status has degraded. We are now doing trivial jobs. All for what? You do not work hard and have good marks! Parents are dismayed when their children responded by saying, “I wish you didn’t make sacrifices for me. Who asked you to? I don’t want to listen to it every time I do something you don’t like.” In the documentary Around the World in 80 Days, the presenter Michael Palin was treated with snake food in a Chinese restaurant in

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Guangzhou. The waiter killed and peeled the skin of the snake in front of the guests. Palin gave a very graphic description of this process with the intention of (at least I believe so) expressing his surprise at the reaction from the other guests: “Spots of blood splatter onto the floor, but the whole operation is over in less than a minute and is watched, admiringly rather than sensationally, by the other diners.” Mr. Palin’s local tour guide Basil made the following comment, for a culture that has been around for thousands of years, there is hardly anything novel that hasn’t been tried out (Vallance, Mills, & Vallance, 1989). I couldn’t help noticing how defensive Basil sounded. Here is the revealing power of the exchange between cultures: It forces one to look at the most familiar things in one’s life with a new lens and the image projected can be surprisingly different. In this sense, getting immersed in two cultures can be an empowering experience. This rings true with the Chinese immigrant parents’ experience in Canada.

2.4 Chinese Immigrant Parents’ Encounters with the School Culture In my study, my primary concern is how the parents with a Chinese cultural background and school training reacted to the local school practice and interacted with the teachers. In the literature on Chinese immigrant parents’ experience with the school culture in North America, much research has been done on parents’ expectation, strategies, and investment in their children’s education, their views and beliefs on parent-school relation, and the difficulties and challenges the parents encounter due to the language barrier, and the cultural difference (Chao, 1996; Chen & Uttal, 1988; Chiang, 2008; Chuang et al., 2018; Constantino, Cui, & Faltis, 1995; Crane, Ngai, Larson, & Hafen, 2005; Dyson, 2001; Gorman, 1998; Guo, 2007; Li, 2004; Li, 2006; Louie, 2001; Poon, 2014; Wan, 2003; Wang, 2008; Xu, 2006). From the research, we could learn that most Chinese immigrant parents had high expectations for their children, and they placed great value on academic success. Because of the language barrier, the Chinese immigrant parents did not show the same initiative in their involvement with the schools as they had done when they were in China. Also, in Chinese society, there are different norms and traditions governing the ways parents interact with schools and teachers. The immigrant parents drew upon their own schooling experience in China in their approach toward their children’s schooling. Guo (2007) in the qualitative

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study of multiple perspectives of Chinese immigrant parents and Canadian teachers on ESL learning found that there was a deep division of views between the parents and the teachers on what and how students should learn in their language program. In a study on Chinese immigrant parents’ relations with school, Wang (2008) found that the parents’ networking with the teachers would help the acculturation process of the parents and their children as well, “Parents who volunteered to be a class assistant learned about American educator’s teaching approaches and then could adopt similar methods when helping with their children’s homework” (p. 142). Wang (2008) also pointed out that, to some extent, the changing strategies in Chinese immigrant parents’ interaction with schools in the host country were caused by their misconception that American school were free of competition. Wang (2008) pointed out that when the teachers and immigrant parents exchanged ideas and opinions over the students’ schooling, they talked in parallel tracks, with different norms and beliefs in their minds. The parents’ lack of knowledge of the local school and the mainstream culture directly affected the parents’ interaction with the schools. This is why I find that the theory of border crossing has great significance in the interpretation of Chinese immigrant parents’ experience with Canadian schooling. 2.4.1

Border Crossing

Border crossing has become a popular term in the literature to refer to people with multicultural experiences. When Henry Giroux introduced this term into multicultural studies, he meant by it the willingness and open-mindedness to embrace cultural differences and to “engage the multiple references that constitute different cultural codes, experiences and languages” (1992, p. 509). He stated that “a border pedagogy must take up the dual task of not only creating new objects of knowledge but also addressing how inequalities, power, and human suffering are rooted in basic institutional structures” (1992, p. 33). Border pedagogy has been an important part of critical pedagogy and it challenges the traditional teaching theory and practice, which is described as a “banking system” by Freire (2000). In the banking model of education, “the students are the depositories and the teacher is the depositor… the scope of action allowed to the students extends only as far as receiving, filing, and storing

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the deposits” (p. 72). The more students accept the passive role imposed on them, the more they tend simply to adapt to the world as it is. The traditional schooling system promotes conformity to dominant cultural codes and values (Giroux & McLaren, 1994; Romo & Chavez, 2006; Romo & Roseman, 2004). With border pedagogy, the dynamic between teachers, students, and parents takes a change and teachers relinquish some of their authority and welcome different interpretations of the teaching material. Both students and teachers are encouraged to be border crossers. “By ‘interrupting’ representational practices that make a claim to objectivity, universality, and consensus, critical educators can develop pedagogical conditions in which students can read and write within and against existing cultural codes while simultaneously having the opportunity to create new spaces for producing new forms of knowledge, subjectivity, and identity” (Giroux , 1992, p. 31). According to Giroux (1992), culture is “a vital source for developing a politics of identity and difference that extends rather than undermines the social relationships necessary for democratic public life.” And culture should be viewed “neither as monolithic or unchanging, but as a site of multiple and heterogeneous borders where different histories, languages, experiences and voices intermingle amid diverse relationships of power and privilege” (p. 514). van Manen (1982) describes pedagogical competence as “the anticipatory and reflective capacity of fostering, shaping, and guiding the child’s emancipatory growth into adulthood” (p. 293). To achieve such roles and have constructive interaction with students, educators need first to know their students. Students from Chinese immigrant families are undergoing the process of identity construction, throughout which their cultural heritage plays a significant role. They learn to negotiate between Canadian and Chinese cultures. Multicultural classrooms demand teachers’ sensitivity to different customs, languages, values, and behavioral codes. Teaching should be relevant to students’ life experience and address their needs. Parental involvement constitutes a crucial factor in engaging in border pedagogy. Calderon and Carreon (2000) described the different ways in which some schools on the US-Mexico border engage Spanish speaking parents in their educational programs. One common feature of such endeavor at border pedagogy is the creation of “a parent resource centre, a special place at the school where parents are welcomed to interact with other parents, work on school projects, and hold meetings and classes in arts and crafts; literacy; hands-on math, science, and social studies projects at home; …” (p. 182). One of the difficulties that immigrant children

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experienced was that they seemed to live in two different worlds where the family life and the school life are disconnected. Parental involvement in border pedagogy would help build a curriculum that speaks to the living experiences of the immigrant children. Instead of having separate worlds of home and school, students will see their parents and heritage culture represented in the school setting. Such practice also epitomizes the spirit of reciprocity where teachers, students, and parents join hand in hand in the exchanges between cultures. Contact with another culture often highlights some characteristics of one’s native culture that have been treated as matters of fact. The sense of strangeness in facing new situations and problems in life serves as catalysis for gaining new knowledge and insight. This is the case with the participants in my study, who meet various challenges in their children’s education, and in their endeavor to get adjusted to the local school system, their understanding of both Chinese and Canadian cultures broadens and deepens. The literature on Chinese immigrant parents’ encounter with schooling in North America informs my current study by providing the knowledge base and stimulating new ideas in my mind that need to be further explored. In the next chapter, I will discuss the research methodology I employ in the current study.

Note 1. All the Chinese texts are translated into English by myself.

References Brooks, E. B., & Brooks, A. T. (Trans.). (1998). The original analects: Sayings of Confucius and his successors. New York: Columbia University Press. Calderon, M., & Carreon, A. (2000). In search of a new border pedagogy: Sociocultural conflicts facing bilingual teachers and students along the US-Mexico border. In C. J. Ovando & P. McLaren (Eds.), The politics of multiculturalism and bilingual education: Students and teachers caught in the cross fire (pp. 166–187). Toronto: McGraw-Hill. Chao, R. K. (1996). Chinese and European American mothers’ beliefs about the role of parenting in children’s school success. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 27 (4), 403–423. Chen, C., & Uttal, D. H. (1988). Cultural values, parents’ beliefs and children’s achievement in the United States and China. Human Development, 31(6), 351–358.

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Chiang, L. N. (2008). ‘Astronaut families’: Transnational lives of middle-class Taiwanese married women in Canada. Social and Cultural Geography, 9(5), 505–518. Chuang, S., Glozman, J., Green, D. S., & Rasmi, S. (2018). Parenting and family relationships in Chinese families: A critical ecological approach. Journal of Family Theory and Review, 10(2), 367–383. Constantino, R., Cui, L., & Faltis, C. (1995). Chinese parental involvement: Reaching new levels. Equity & Excellence in Education, 28(2), 46–50. Crane, D. R., Ngai, S. W., Larson, J. H., & Hafen, M. (2005). The influence of family functioning and parent-adolescent acculturation on North American Chinese adolescent outcomes. Family Relations, 54(3), 400–410. Dyson, L. L. (2001). Home-school communication and expectations of recent Chinese immigrants. Canadian Journal of Education, 26(4), 455–476. Encyclopedia Britannica. (15th ed., Vol. 7). (1993). Chicago: Encyclopedia Britannica, Inc. Fei, H. (1985). Peasant life in China: A field study of country life in the Yangtze Valley. Beijing: Sanlian Press. Feng, Y. (2008). Selected works of Feng Youlan. Beijing, China: Capital Normal University Press. Freire, P. (2000). Pedagogy of the oppressed (M. B. Ramos, Trans.). New York: Continuum. Giroux, H. (1992). Border crossings: Cultural workers and the politics of education. New York: Routledge. Giroux, H., & McLaren, P. (Eds.). (1994). Between borders: Pedagogy and the politics of cultural studies. London: Routledge. Gorman, J. C. (1998). Parenting attitudes and practices of immigrant Chinese mothers of adolescents. Family Relations, 47 (1), 73–80. Guo, Y. (2007). Multiple perspectives of Chinese immigrant parents and Canadian teachers on ESL learning in schools. Diaspora, Indigenous, and Minority Education, 1(1), 43–64. Hessler, P. (2011). Country driving: A Chinese road trip. New York: Harper Perennial. Ho, D. Y. F. (1994). Cognitive socialization in Confucian heritage cultures. In P. M. Greefield & R. R. Cockings (Eds.), Cross-cultural roots of minority child development (pp. 285–322). Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates & Publishers. Hsu, F. L. K. (1953). Americans and Chinese: Two ways of life. New York: Henry Schuman. Hsu, I. C. Y. (1999). The rise of modern China (6th ed.). New York: Oxford University Press. Hu, S. (1996). The selected works of Hu Shih (Vol. 3). Hefei, China: Huang Shan Publishing House.

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King, A. Y. C. (1985). The individual and group in Confucianism: A relational perspective. In D. Munro (Ed.), Individualism and holism: Studies in Confucian and Taoist values (pp. 57–70). Ann Arbor, MI: The University of Michigan Press. Legge, J. (Trans.) (1991). The Chinese classics: The works of Mencius (Vol. 2). Taipei, Taiwan: SMC Publishing Inc. Li, G. (2006). Biliteracy and trilingual practices in the home context: Case studies of Chinese-Canadian children. Journal of Early Childhood Literacy, 6(3), 355– 381. Li, J. (2004). Parental expectations of Chinese immigrants: A folk theory about children’s school achievement. Race Ethnicity and Education, 7 (2), 167–183. Li, L. (2007). A homeless dog: My interpretation of ‘the Analects’. Taiyuan, China: Shanxi People’s Press. Liang, S. (1975). The spirit of Chinese culture. Taipei, Taiwan: Zheng Zhong Press. Lin, Y. (1956). My country and my people. London: William Heinemann Ltd. Louie, V. (2001). Parents’ aspirations and investment: The role of social class in the educational experiences of 1.5- and second-generation Chinese Americans. Harvard Educational Review, 71(3): 438–474. Ma, W., & Wang, S. (Writers), & Zhao, B. (Director). (1991). Stories of the editors’ office [Television Series]. Beijing: Beijing TV Program Production Centre Company Ltd. Poon, O. (2014). “The land of opportunity doesn’t apply to everyone”: The immigrant experience, race, and Asian American career choices. Journal of College Student Development, 55(6), 499–514. Romo, J., & Chavez, C. (2006). Border pedagogy: A study of preservice teacher transformation. The Educational Forum, 70(2), 142–153. Romo, J., & Roseman, M. (2004). Educational warriors for social justice. In L. Hughes (Ed.), Current issues in education (pp. 37–56). Boston, MA: Lawrence Earlbaum. Siu, S. F. (1994). Taking no chances: A profile of a Chinese-American family’s support for school success. Equity and Choice, 10, 23–32. Vallance, C. (Producer), & Mills, R., & Vallance, C. (Directors). (1989). Around the world in 80 days [Videorecording]. London: BBC Worldwide Ltd. van Manen, M. (1982). Phenomenological pedagogy. Curriculum Inquiry, 12(3), 283–299. Wan, F. M. (2003). Language, social networks, and parenting in the lived experiences of five working-class Chinese immigrant women in Toronto: An ethnographic study. Unpublished Doctoral Dissertation, University of Toronto, Canada. Wang, D. (2008). Family-school relations as social capital: Chinese parents in the United States. School Community Journal, 18(2), 119–146.

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Watzlawick, P., Beavin, J. H., & Jackson, D. D. (1967). Pragmatics of human communication: A study of interactional patterns, pathologies, and paradoxes. New York: W. W. Norton. Xu, S. J. (2006). In search of home on landscapes in transition: Narratives of newcomer families’ cross-cultural schooling experience. Unpublished Doctoral Dissertation, University of Toronto, Canada. Xu, X. (2004). Comparation between Chinese and Western cultures. Beijing: Peking University Press. Yu, D. (2006). Yu Dan’s interpretation of ‘the Analects’. Beijing: Zhonghua Book Company.

CHAPTER 3

Multi-Faceted Stories of Chinese Immigrant Families

The research methodology employed in this book is narrative inquiry. This chapter expostulates my rationale in adopting this method and delves into details about the recruitment process, my interaction with the research participants, and the data-collection activities. Next follows the analytical process where I start to look for significant points and running themes by shifting through the data.

3.1

Narrative Inquiry

I was first attracted to narrative inquiry by the narrative dimension in it. I majored in English literature and am an avid reader of novels. I thought to myself, “This is a method that I can use to my advantage. My literary training will help me in writing up the narrative.” Later when I got to understand narrative inquiry better, I realized how I missed the core of this method in the first place. Xu and Connelly (2010) have clarified the difference between narrative inquiry and storytelling: “the popularity and widespread use of the language of story in narrative inquiry has, at times, led to the view that narrative inquiry is the collection of stories… Story is not so much a structured answer to a question, or a way of accounting for actions and events, as it is a gateway, a portal, for narrative inquiry into meaning and significance. Story, in this sense, is complex and

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may be analyzed in inquiry.” They went on to stress that “thinking narratively involves both the use of imagination, in a holistic encounter with the research subject, and analysis, in a complex inquiry into the imaginative research life space” (pp. 355–356). Also, part of the complexity of narrative inquiry comes from the fact that “people are both living their stories in an ongoing experiential text and telling their stories in words as they reflect upon life and explain themselves to others” (Connelly & Clandinin, 1990, p. 4). Craig (2010) summarized narrative inquiry in the following way, Building on Dewey’s (1938) conceptualization of experience and drawing on Schwab’s (1969) notions concerning the practical, it [narrative inquiry] is an against-the-grain method developed to challenge the logistic view (McKeon, 1952) underlying technical rationalist approaches to top-down curriculum reform and process-product research (Elbaz-Luwisch, 1997). (p. 123)

Clandinin and Connelly (2000) define narrative inquiry as “a way of understanding experience. It is a collaboration between researcher and participants, over time, in a place or series of places, and in social interaction with milieus. An inquirer enters this matrix in the midst and progresses in this same spirit, concluding the inquiry still in the midst of living and telling, reliving and retelling, the stories of the experiences that make up people’s lives, both individual and social” (p. 20). The definition itself bespeaks the complexity and challenges involved in adopting this methodology. It provides a fluid space where the roles of researcher and narrator are constantly negotiated and this process has great impact on the final product presented to the readers. As Geertz (1995) has pointed out, “It is no more possible to escape the situational immediacies of ethnographical knowing, the thoughts and occasions one is trying to intrude upon, than it is to escape its temporal bounds, and it is perhaps even more mischievous to pretend to do so” (p. 17). In order to make sense of the lived experiences of the research participants, “It calls for showing how particular events and unique occasions, an encounter here, a development there, can be woven together with a variety of facts and a battery of interpretations to produce a sense of how things go, have been going, and are likely to go” (p. 3). Clandinin and Connelly (2000) point out that the key terms for narrative inquiry and understanding experience are “personal and social

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(interaction); past, present, and future (continuity); combined with the notion of place (situation)” (p. 50). From the above description, a threedimensional web is created. The terms of interaction, continuity, and situation were derived from Dewey’s view of experience (Clandinin & Connelly, 2000), and they govern my current study of the four Chinese immigrant families. I explore through the narratives the mothers’ interaction with their children, the teachers, other Chinese immigrant parents, and their relatives, and friends in mainland China. The mothers’ interaction with me also had an influence on their views of their children’s schooling experience, as we exchanged ideas and I shared my knowledge of the local schools that I had gained through my study in OISE. In the meanwhile, the mothers’ reflection on their parenting practice and their children’s school life give me new insights into the cultural experiences of Chinese immigrant families in Toronto. The participants found themselves in a new environment (situation) where their former knowledge and experience were tested, reappraised, and challenged. Each family developed their own new living pattern to try to accommodate the needs and demands of each member of the family. This is an ongoing process where all the family members were negotiating and renegotiating their roles. All the participants in my research also were reflecting upon their present life by looking back at their past. In narrative inquiry, it is hard to pinpoint where the stories stop and analysis begins. The process of data collection by itself is permeated by analytical work. The narrative is filtered through my own lenses and my decision to include or exclude certain materials comes from my understanding of what might build toward a certain theme. To some extent, the narratives are the shared experience between the participants in my research and myself. Despite the fact that all the families come from mainland China and share some common features, each has their own distinctive story and the collage of the stories from these families sheds light on various aspects of parenting practice in immigrant families from mainland China. Narrative is a way of making sense of one’s past experiences and an effort to organize actions and experiences into a meaningful whole (Chase, 2005; Hinchman & Hinchman, 2001; Holstein & Gubrium, 2000; Langdridge, 2007; Laslett, 1999; Polkinghorne, 1995). The stories of immigrant parents from mainland China will put us in a context where we can better understand their perspectives on their children’s education in Canada. For immigrants, the process of shattering the old routine and

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establishing a new routine can be described as turbulent and thoughtprovoking. The challenges immigrant parents from mainland China face in Canada are deeply rooted in the differences between Chinese and Canadian cultures and social systems. They also undergo constant change as the parents and children begin their socialization process in Canada. This process infiltrates every aspect of their life and more often than not, some deeply rooted beliefs or opinions will remain dormant if no occasions have arisen to test them. There are differences of ideas and opinions among the two generations in Chinese immigrant families concerning various political and social issues. Such stories might get lost among the statistical figures about immigrants’ settlement process in Canada. Geertz (1995) has reflected on the timing of anthropological work: “Entry of this sort into an entr’acte where all the really critical things seemed just to have happened yesterday and just about to happen tomorrow, induces an uncomfortable sense of having come too late and arrived too early, a sense which in my case never afterward left me … it always seemed not the right time, but a pause between right times” (p. 4). For my research, I paid regular visits to four Chinese immigrant families over the period of six months. When I first stepped into the research field, I was troubled by similar feelings: no dramatic scenes, no landmark events, and no Aha moments. Then I started to question my choice of research topics and was seized with a panic attack. What if I could not gather interesting anecdotes and witty remarks from my research subjects? As I became more and more familiar with the families, sometimes they would invite me to family parties. I also accompanied some of the parents to their parent meetings at school. They also asked for my advice on their children’s school activities. I came to know their life stories through our conversations. As time passed by, good rapport was established between me and the research participants, and the conversations flowed naturally. Richardson and St. Pierre (2005) stated, “I see the ethnographic project as humanly situated, always filtered through human eyes and human perceptions, and bearing both the limitations and the strengths of human feelings” (p. 964). I am also fully aware of how my own experience as an international student in Toronto informs my present research. My attempt to understand the experience of Chinese immigrants is also a selfdiscovery journey. I share many of the burning questions of my research participants. As Spradley (1980) has pointed out, “Ethnographers do not merely make observations; they also participate. Participation allows you to experience activities directly, to get the feel of what events are like, and

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to record your own perceptions. At the same time, the ethnographer can hardly ever become a complete participant in social situations” (p. 40). For my current research, another layer of meaning is added to participation. I position myself in the research itself, for I am also in the midst of cultural exploration. I gave up my teaching position in China to pursue the PhD degree at OISE. I found myself at the crossroads of life where I needed to decide whether to stay in Canada upon graduation. Many factors needed to be taken into consideration: The career prospects, the possible intergenerational differences, the distance from my family members and relatives, all become intertwined together into an ever-tightening knot. I find that this situation rings true with many immigrants from mainland China, who are grappling with similar questions. I juxtapose the narratives of my own lived experience in both mainland China and Canada with the stories of the four families. Like my participants, as an international student majoring in education in Canada, I also feel the differences between Chinese and Canadian cultures and schooling, and try to make sense of, and gain new insights from my crosscultural experience. Spradley (1980) also mentioned, “Doing ethnographic fieldwork involves alternating between the insider and the outsider experience, and having both simultaneously” (p. 57). My first-hand experience with a new culture and my interaction with my participants make me an insider in my research, but in the meanwhile, my training and role as an educational researcher provides me with perspectives that distance me from my immigrant friends, thus making me an outsider.

3.2

Stepping into the Field

Before starting the research, I foresaw the difficulties that I might encounter in recruiting participants. I knew from my acquaintance with Chinese immigrants in Toronto, that most of them were either very busy making a living, pursuing new degrees, or suffering because of unemployment. The former were reluctant to spare time for a strange researcher, while the latter were stressed about their financial situation and didn’t wish to be interviewed. What’s more, the design of my research entailed that I would visit my participants at their homes, thus causing extra concern and driving off some potential participants. When I composed the participant recruitment flyer, I took full advantage of my knowledge of Chinese immigrant parents’ concerns and interests, and emphasized the possible benefits of getting involved in such a research. I mentioned that

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having studied at OISE for several years, and having had the chance to do fieldwork in various Toronto schools, I had gained a certain knowledge of the local schools that I could share with my participants. I also offered free translation, interpretation, and tutor services to the families. In the flyer, I stated the purpose of my research and the basic requirements for the participants. I distributed the flyers mainly in the northeastern part of Toronto, where there was a large Chinese community. I posted the flyers near the Chinese supermarket in this area, with my mobile phone number, and email address on them. Meiping,1 Ying, and Yun phoned me to say that they were interested in the research. I explained in phone calls to each of them the purpose of the study, the approximate hours my interviews and observation might take and gave a detailed account of why I wanted to do such a study. I explained to them the confidentiality policy and how I would protect their privacy. Their reaction was quite different. Meiping and Yun seemed to feel that my explanation was quite redundant, and immediately started to discuss the schedule, while Ying was more cautious. She said that she was willing to talk about her opinions about Canadian school system, but she did not like to be intruded upon. She also liked the idea that I could share my knowledge of the Canadian school system with her. She said that the major reason that she was prepared to be involved was that one of her acquaintances knew me and told her that I was trustworthy. I reassured her that in my conversations with her, we would only concentrate on topics that she felt comfortable with. Interestingly, Ying felt quite excited about our conversation after my first visit and she recruited her neighbor and friend Hua for me without my asking her to do so. During my second visit to her place, Ying talked with me about the methods of my research. She was currently pursuing a Master’s degree in statistics and showed great interest in the collecting of samples and the sample size. She said that the larger the sample size was, the better. Then she said that she had another ideal candidate for me. Before I could respond, she already left the room. Five minutes later, she came back with Hua, and later Hua’s two lovely children joined us. It was not without some reservation that I welcomed my fourth participant. Because from my conversation with Hua later, I could feel that she was not very enthusiastic about the research itself. Hua had a Bachelor’s degree in English Education and worked as a middle-school English teacher for seven years in China. Because of her background in education, from the very beginning, Hua would make comments like “I have friends who are pursuing Master’s degree in education, and I am quite familiar

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with educational research.” Her assumptions worried me a bit, because I didn’t want her to treat my research as a test where she knew the best answers. At first, I felt a little uncomfortable when she commented on the design of my research. When I talked with her, she was more on the defense because she was guessing what I was driving at with my words. This put me in a quite awkward situation, and I started to reflect on the intricate Chinese social code behind it. This is exactly what Liang (1975) has described when he said that Chinese social relations were based on ethical relations. I started to believe that Hua had agreed to take part in the research because she did not want to make her friend Ying lose face in front of me. Before Ying rushed out, she already said that she would bring me a new candidate, illustrating one of the striking characteristics of Chinese people discussed earlier. In interpersonal relations, we tend to be more intrusive, and the boundary between family members and friends are especially blurred. When I started my fieldwork, the thought that Hua joined the research perhaps solely for her friend Ying’s sake bothered me, and I tended to read between the lines when I had conversations with Hua. It was not until after a few visits did I realize that I had not been as open with Hua as I was with the other three participants who came to me of their own will. When I read my field notes, I found that I put Hua down as being defensive and critical of my research design. In fact, it was I who was on the defense and nervous because of Hua’s background in education. From that point on, I became more relaxed, and Hua and I had many fruitful discussions. This little anecdote taught me how the cultural factor was exerting its influence on the research process. In the recruitment stage, another event left me with a deep impression. A woman contacted me and said that she was very interested in participating in my research. She had a daughter in Grade 9, and she had spent a lot of time and energy trying to know the Canadian schools better. She looked forward to exchanging opinions with me. She said that she and her husband deliberately chose a school for their daughter where there was a high population of white students because they wanted her to better adjust to the mainstream culture. Their daughter was the only Chinese student in her class. Before the end of our conversation, she added that she needed to consult her husband on this matter. If he was OK with it, her family would definitely join in the research. She said that she would call me to give me a definitive answer in a few days. I never heard from her again. The ups and downs of the recruitment phase make me realize how much trust Hua, Meiping, Ying, and Yun had put in me in agreeing

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to participate in the research, and I tried my best to be worthy of their trust. Hogan (1988) wrote about the collaborative relation between the researchers and the participants in their research, “Empowering relationships develop over time and it takes time for participants to recognize the value that the relationship holds. Empowering relationships involve feelings of ‘connectedness’ that are developed in situations of equality, caring and mutual purpose and intention” (p. 12). All four immigrant families in my research came from mainland China, and they all immigrated to Canada as a federal skilled worker, which is a point-system based on the applicants’ education level, skilled work experience, and language proficiency (http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/ immigrate/skilled/apply-who.asp). My lived experiences in mainland China give me the vantage point of kinship with the participants in my research. This experience helps me identify the origins and allusions of some of the comments by them since we grew up in a similar culture and society. My initial design was to include all the family members in each family, but it turned out that Meiping’s and Ying’s husbands spent most of the time in China since they couldn’t find a satisfactory job at Toronto, while Hua’s and Yun’s husbands were too busy to participate in the research. This shifted the focus of my research from the entire family to the mother in each household. This also teaches me how fluid the research experience can be, and as a researcher, I need to constantly fine-tune my research to address the new situations that arise in the field. My fieldwork can be best summed up by Eisner’s (1991) metaphor about qualitative research: “In a way, the form and focus a qualitative study may gradually take are closer to the creation of a collage than to the construction of a building. A finished collage depends upon in-process decisions made because of the look of the configuration as it unfolds” (p. 172). In a period of six months, I paid each of the four families a visit twice a month. Because of the family setting, I wanted the visits to seem natural and casual, but in fact, I prepared myself for each visit. I would read my field notes on my previous visit, and jot down the comments, or anecdotes that were worth further discussion. I would also write down my questions. In this way, each of my visits was built upon the previous visit. What I dreaded most in this research was that the mothers found that we were having repetitive conversations, and lost interest, so during my visits, I would ask if there was anything I could do to be of help. Sometimes, the mothers would ask me to explain some English materials, and our conversation would branch out from the materials. For example,

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they would ask me to read their children’s report cards and ask for my opinion. What they wanted to know was the underlying meaning in the teacher’s comment. Sometimes, the mothers were busy preparing for the next day’s lunch, and I would go into the kitchen and exchange recipes while helping with the cooking in some small ways (handing over dishes, sauces, etc.). Sometimes, the mothers asked my advice on their course assignment (Ying and Yun were pursuing degrees, and Meiping was taking LINC classes). They were not sure about their understanding of the assignment instructions and wanted to know what the teachers wanted for a certain project. Sometimes, they asked me to proofread their writing assignment or help with their children’s homework. Sometimes, the mothers asked me to do some translation work for them. It might be an application letter written in Chinese, and I would translate it into English, or it might be the instruction pamphlet for an electronic device. I welcomed such opportunities because by helping them, I felt that they could actually benefit from my visits. What’s more, such occasions became the best catalyst for conversations. We could exchange ideas over the local school. I usually let these conversations flow in a natural way and did not try to structure it with premeditated questions. But my role as a researcher acted as the strongest factor that affected the direction of these conversations. Our conversations mainly centered around the children’s education, and the mothers’ views on the difference between Chinese and Canadian school systems. All the four mothers spoke to me in Mandarin, and when I explained some English materials to them, I also used Mandarin. I wrote the field notes in English, but recorded the conversation in Chinese. Later when I decided to include some of the conversations in the book, I would translate them into English. The mothers were keen to learn more about Canadian schools from me, and in many cases, I was unable to answer their questions on the spot, but I would take their questions to my friends, and classmates who were veteran teachers or administrators in Toronto schools. The questions centered on topics such as English language learning, the course credit system, the selection of courses, the ranking of schools, the interpretation of report cards, the choice of college major, and the college recruitment process. Toward the end of the research, I conducted formal interviews with all four mothers. Meiping’s son Mike and Yun’s daughter Mary also got the permission from their parents to be formally interviewed. Hua thought that her kids were too young for interviews, while Ying said that her son was very shy,

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and she did not want him to be interviewed. The final interview was semistructured and the conversation centered around my research questions.

3.3

Vignettes of the Four Families 3.3.1

Hua

Hua’s family lived in the same condo as Ying’s, and her family of four members shared a three-bedroom apartment with a young man, who was an international student from mainland China. The family had been in Toronto for four years. They had a ten-year-old daughter, and a two-yearold boy. Hua believed that her lack of specific skills other than English language put her at great disadvantage in the Canadian job market. Hua stayed at home to take care of her son and drive her daughter to school and other activities. Hua’s husband worked in a factory and provided for the whole family. Hua was a fast talker and from time to time she burst into laughter over some amusing anecdotes that came up during our conversations. Hua’s daughter Lily had been to kindergarten in China. She was now a Grade 4 student in Toronto. As I have mentioned before, I first met Hua at Ying’s home. From their interaction, I could tell that Ying and Hua were very close friends. Hua’s children behaved as if they were in their own home at Ying’s place, and knew exactly where to find what. During my visits, I found that Hua’s family members communicated with each other in the Chinese dialect of her hometown. Hua said that she would not allow her children to speak English at home. Later I learned that Hua viewed the Chinese language as an asset for her children in the future job market. With the growing economy in China, her children might want to pursue careers related to China, or even look for jobs in China. What’s more, Hua’s husband could barely speak English, if the children spoke English at home, their dad would not be able to communicate with them. 3.3.2

Meiping

I first visited Meiping’s home on a rainy November night. Before I left my place, Meiping called and kindly offered to pick me up at my place, since I did not drive. I knew it was merely a 15-minute walk from my place to hers, so I told her that I would just walk over. We agreed that I would be at her place at 7:30 pm. Ever since I came to Canada, I seldom

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went outside alone at night. It came as quite a surprise that the landscape looked so different at night, and with darkness lurking around me, I was even a bit scared. I walked more than 20 minutes, and there was still no sign of Meiping’s condo building. At this moment, my cell phone rang. It was Meiping who began to feel worried since I was late. With her detailed instructions, I soon arrived at her building. This experience reminded me again how my life in Canada was different from my experience in China. I could stroll down the streets of Shanghai at 11:00 pm, and there was still the hustle and bustle of life around me. Meiping struck me as a person with a great fashion taste. Her hairstyle, the jewelery, her clothes, and shoes matched each other. I complimented on her appearance, “You look gorgeous.” “Oh, I just threw these on. I spent a lot of time dressing up when I was in China. I have a very nice wardrobe. I only brought a small portion of the clothes with me. There was not that much luggage space, and I don’t care that much when I am here. Nobody knows me, and I have no formal social occasions to attend. It’s not like in my hometown where I am bound to bump into some acquaintances on the streets.” Meiping’s family stayed in a three-bedroom apartment. The living room looked spacious with few pieces of furniture. There was no decoration on the wall, and none of the photo frames one usually found in a family’s living room. It felt more like a makeshift home. There was one table near the window, with a few plastic chairs around it. It seemed to be the dining table because place mats were lined up on the table. In the middle of the living room against the wall, there was an oldfashioned 14 inch TV set. Facing the TV, there sat a new IKEA double sofa. We sat down at the table, and I noticed that at the farthest end of the room, there was a blackboard, with some drawings on it. In front of the board, there were a few small chairs. Meiping explained to me, “I tutor students at home. I teach drawing. This way at least I have some income.” I asked Meiping how she recruited her students. “Oh, by word of mouth. Many newcomer families want their children to learn different skills. I guess it’s cheaper to go to a Chinese teacher.” Meiping said with a smile, “I have many experiences. I used to run a kindergarten in China.” At this time, a teenage boy stepped out of one room and greeted me in Mandarin, “Hello, Ayi (aunt).” The boy was Meiping’s son Mike and he was in Grade 8. Mike said that he had finished his homework and turned on the TV. Meiping turned to me and said, “I think watching TV will help him with his English. So usually I don’t interfere. But sometimes when he has played games for long hours, then I will ask him to stop.”

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Mike said, “Well, I seldom play games now.” In our telephone conversations, Meiping told me that there were four members in her family, and her husband and younger son stayed in China. I asked Mike, “Do you miss your little brother?” “Oh, the world is finally quiet and peaceful” (this is a famous quote from a very popular Hong Kong movie named A Chinese Odyssey) (Yeung & Lau, 1994), said Mike, making a face like the character in the movie. We shared a big laugh, and Meiping said, “It’s so hard for a mother. I would call home everyday to listen to his voice. I would ask their daddy if he was happy. Did he cry? What did he have to eat? Did he ask for Mama? Did he learn something new in the kindergarten? If it were not for laoda (a Chinese way of addressing one’s children according to the birth sequence. laoda means the firstborn), I could never bear this kind of separation.” Meiping’s family had stayed in Canada for four years. Her husband, together with their two-year-old younger son traveled between China and Canada. The reason for choosing such a lifestyle was that the couple could not find satisfactory jobs in Toronto and decided that they would maintain the management of the kindergarten in China, which constituted the major source of income for the family. Meiping’s older son Mike had seven years of schooling in China. Mike was an outgoing boy and had many friends in China. According to Meiping, her husband was the cook of the house. He spent much time experimenting with various cuisines and cooked delicious meals. Meiping started to learn how to cook since for most of the time, only she and Mike were in Toronto. Every day when Meiping cooked dinner, she would put aside some extra food. Mike would bring it to school as his lunch. Mike joked about his mother’s cooking skills and said that he’d rather buy a pizza, and he missed the meals cooked by his dad. 3.3.3

Ying

Ying’s family had been in Canada for four years, and they shared a threebedroom apartment with a young couple. The three families all shared their apartment with some other family because the rent was a heavy burden for them. For most of the year, Ying’s husband stayed in China and provided for the family. He was a civil servant in the local government, and when their family first settled in Canada, he found a job in a meat factory. Soon he decided to go back to his old job in China. He took advantage of the statutory holidays of mainland China to visit his family. Ying had no working experience in Canada, and in order to be more

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competitive in the job market, she got enrolled in a master’s program at a university in Toronto. She had already completed a two-year program in accounting at a Toronto college. She is a meditative talker and will pause for a while before articulating her opinions. Their son Peter was 15 years old and in Grade 11. He had eight years of schooling in China. Everyday Peter spent several hours on Chinese websites and is fluent in the Internet lingo of Chinese young people, which sounds like Greek to his mother. Peter was very shy and very polite. Ying kept a very tight schedule because she wanted to obtain her degree in the shortest time possible, “I’m not getting younger, and we can’t afford to spend so much on tuition fees.” Each time when I visited her, she was either deep into the writing of an assignment or getting prepared for the courses the next day. Like Meiping, Ying prepared lunch and dinner for Peter. Sometimes when Ying had night classes, she would half prepare the food for Peter. When he got home, he only needed to heat the food in the microwave. 3.3.4

Yun

Yun’s family lived in a three-bedroom house in an up-and-coming residential area in the northeast part of the city. My first visit to her home left a deep impression on me. When we sat down on the sofa in the living room, Yun asked me if I would like something to drink. I said that I was fine, but she insisted on preparing tea for me, “I came from Anhui. We are renowned for the high-quality tea.” She then went to the kitchen. To my surprise, she could not find a proper tea set, and was looking all over the cupboard for drinking containers. Finally, she found a couple of disposable plastic cups. I held my own cup of tea, and we walked back to the living room. Then we found that we had nowhere to put down the cups. There was no table in front of us. Yun brought over a stool and said apologetically, “Our house is poorly furnished.” I was greatly touched by her adherence to hospitality rules despite economic constraints. Their basement was for renting, but during the time of my research, they had difficulty in finding a tenant. She explained to me that the mortgage for the house was a big burden for the family and ate away the expenses for daily essentials. During one of my conversations with Yun, she reflected on her house-buying decision, and how peer pressure had led her to buy a house that put a great strain on the finance of the family. Yun was very considerate and kept asking me if I was comfortable during our conversations. She had a college diploma in accounting in China. Now she worked as a

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nurse in a local hospital and was pursuing a diploma in nursing through online courses. Her younger son was born in Canada and was 4 years old and her daughter Mary was a pretty teenage girl who described herself in the following way: “I’m more like I don’t talk to you unless you talk to me, that kind of person.” She went to kindergarten in China. The family came to Canada 11 years ago. Yun’s husband worked as a technician in a local factory. He worked the night shift all year long. Everyday he went off to work at 3:00 pm and came home at around 12:00 am. I usually visited their family during the evening hours of the weekdays, because Yun said that they tried to have some family activities during weekends. The children hardly had the time to see their father during the weekdays.

3.4

Reciprocity Between Researcher and the Research Participants

As time passed by, I became more and more familiar with the families. The parents sought my advice over school matters. On some occasions, I acted as interpreter for the parents. Over the months, I developed a multilayered relation with the families, and I was at the same time a researcher, a compatriot, a friend, and a consultant. These different roles enabled me to have more empathy and gain richer knowledge of my participants. The chemistry and interaction between researcher and their research participants differed from person to person. I established better and deeper relations with Meiping and Yun, while Ying and Hua had retained a certain distance from me since the recruitment stage. Before I embarked on my fieldwork, I was a little worried about how my participants would treat me, and whether we could build a trusting and friendly relation. The nature of my study may seem a little intrusive to some people. I was very careful in my communication with the four families and did not push for any information. I could tell from my initial contact with Ying that she was very protective of her son, and did not want to discuss the parenting and school issues as applied to her son. She preferred to talk in general terms, that is to say, she was very happy to talk about the difference between Chinese and Canadian school education and her own experience as a student at Canadian college and university, but her son’s name seldom appeared in her conversation. Also, unlike Meiping and Yun, she never discussed her son’s performance in school with me. She would ask questions about the course selection, and the college recruitment without touching upon the specific case of her son. Ying said once to me that her

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son was a quiet boy and had a difficult time in school back in China. He was picked on by some bullies. That is why she and her husband decided to move to Canada. She said that they wanted him to live in a more relaxed and happy environment. After noticing Ying’s attitude, I was very careful in my conversations with her. I would not initiate questions about her son’s school life. I was really torn over this issue: On the one hand, I wanted to know if her son settled down well at the new school, and how he viewed the transition from China to Canada, while at the same time, I did not want to offend Ying, and jeopardize the opportunity of having all those conversations with her. Despite the fact that her son was shielded from my research, I actually gained a lot from my conversations with Ying. She provided many thoughtful insights into the differences between the two school systems. With Meiping and Yun, it was a different story. I was invited to their family gatherings and was introduced to other guests as a friend. I became very familiar with their family members, and our conversations sometimes went into very intimate details of our lives. The boundary between researcher and the research participant was blurred. This recalled to my mind a seminar I attended at the Munk School of Global Affairs in University of Toronto given by Prof. Chen Xiangming of Peking University. The title of the seminar was “Doing Qualitative Research in Chinese Schools.” As a renowned scholar in qualitative research in China, Prof. Chen had been leading a university-school collaborative research project on teachers’ practical knowledge. Her research team paired up with elementary and high school teachers in Beijing. She mentioned the ethical concerns that arose in the research and gave the following example: One of her researchers became close friends with a teacher in their research. The teacher regarded the researcher as her best friend and would confide in her about her personal secrets. She even invited the researcher to sleep over. This researcher wrote in her field note that she did not know how to maintain the appropriate distance between researcher and the research participant. This episode left a deep impression on me because of my own research experience. As I have mentioned, later in my research, Yun and Meiping treated me as a personal friend even though they clearly knew that I was in the middle of a research process. I decided that I should be frank and talk with them about our dual relationship, that is, as the researcher and the researched, and as friends. I told them that despite the anonymity, there was the chance that somebody could guess who the research participants were. Both of them responded to my concerns with

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the same remark, “We trust you, and know that you would not write something harmful about us. What’s more, you are writing in English, people in our community will not read it.” Their attitude made me more aware of my responsibility and accountability. When I came across some materials that I was not sure if I should include in my writing, I would check with Meiping and Yun. They would give their permission to include some of the materials and would say no to others. I respected their opinions. Another difficulty in my research was caused by the shared living environment. All four families except Yun’s lived in shared apartments. Sometimes when I was having conversations with the mothers in the living room, their co-tenants might go to the kitchen to cook dinner or lunch. Because of the structure of the apartments, a person in the kitchen could hear people talking in the living room. I was somewhat affected by the presence of a third party, but the mothers did not seem to be bothered at all, and followed their train of thought in the conversation. In such cases, I would usually direct the conversations into some casual chatting about cooking, the price of food, or I would tell some funny stories that I had just read from weibo (micro-blogging). Sometimes I asked myself if it was wise to interrupt the mothers in the middle of a thoughtful conversation because of the consideration for privacy and confidentiality. In the literature on qualitative inquiry, the relation between the researcher and the research participant has always been a major topic for deliberation. There is always the concern of how emotionally involved a researcher should be, and how to strike the balance between being an observer and being actively involved in the research project. But still I find my situation and the example cited by Prof. Chen somewhat peculiar. I start to wonder if this has something to do with the characteristics of the Chinese social network. The boundary between individuals is easily blurred. Another ethical concern in narrative research is that when the researcher interprets or retells the research participant’s story or account, there might be a shift of meaning, or even a change of theme that might upset or even offend the research participant. Wallace and Louden (2000) reflected on this issue, “While much has been written about the importance of shared meaning in narrative research, it is inevitable that in some circumstances, meanings will not be shared at all. So, whose story should take precedence in these situations?” (p. 145). These questions accompanied me all through my current research, and Connelly and Clandinin’s (1990) reflection on the collaborative process in narrative inquiry gave me new insight on this issue, “In the process of beginning to live the shared

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story of narrative inquiry, the researcher needs to be aware of constructing a relationship in which both voices are heard” (p. 4). In the cases where there were discrepancies between the researcher and the research participants’ stories, it is very important to give both sides voices. These questions also need to be viewed in light of one danger in narrative which is the “‘Hollywood plot’, the plot where everything works out well in the end” (Connelly & Clandinin, 1990, p. 10). As the researcher, I needed to be aware of such tendencies, and remind myself that I need to be faithful to the participants’ stories, and not to try to fit the stories into a premeditated framework. All the mothers were very busy and their daily routines included driving their children to school and picking them up after school, cooking dinner, and keeping the children company while they were doing their homework. For Meiping and Ying, since their husbands were away, they also had to do the shopping every week. When asked why they chose to participate in the research despite a very busy schedule, their responses were almost identical: They wanted to talk about their children’s education with somebody who had professional knowledge of the Toronto school system and hoped to gain some new understanding of the local school by participating in my research. At the beginning of the research, Meiping and Ying expressed clearly that they did not want to discuss any topic that would involve politics for they felt it risky to express their opinions on political issues. I readily complied with their wishes. But what is deemed to be political is hard to define, and everybody has their own standard. For example, Ying felt that any topic that touched upon Tibet was political, even if we were talking about my friend’s travel story there, while Hua did not refrain from commenting on the political and strategic situation in Tibet because she thought that there were different facets to the story that her children needed to know before they could come to an informed decision on their own.

3.5

Data Collection and Analysis

The data collected through the fieldwork mainly consists of interview recordings and the field notes that I composed during the entire process of the research. I have learned from the past research experience to act as a video camera, and try to record every detail in the field—the conversation, the expressions, the tone, the gestures, and the surrounding environment. I also wrote down my reflections on the visit. After I finished my

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fieldwork, I started to transcribe the interviews and translate those interviews conducted in Mandarin into English. With the interview transcripts, I organized them by the family. I first read the data on one family over several times. With each reading, I highlighted the parts that I regarded as important, thought-provoking, interesting, or puzzling, and tried to categorize these points under some topics or themes that are linked to my research questions. Then I went on to read the data of the next family and repeated the procedure. When I finished the initial screening of the data, I listed the topics and themes that emerged out of the materials of each family under different codes, and I found that the overlapping topics and themes fell into three areas—intergenerational relationships, mothers’ interaction with the school, and mothers’ interaction with other Chinese parents. These topics and themes revolve around the research questions I raised in Chapter 1, i.e., Chinese immigrant parents’ adjustment to the local school, the challenges or difficulties they experience in managing their children’s schooling, and the possible changes in their parenting practice. In the following chapters, I discuss my findings in my research in these three areas from the cross-cultural perspectives, and the literature on Chinese immigrant parents’ experience with the local schools described in Chapter 2, and the focus of the book is the four mothers’ views on their children’s education and their efforts to get adjusted to the local school system. A great challenge facing narrative inquiry is the scale of the research sample. In my research, the findings only represent the four Chinese immigrant families in Toronto. Their particular experiences are also influenced by such factors as their educational background, former life in China, years of stay in Canada, financial status, career status, the community, and family arrangement. It is understandable that, for Chinese immigrant parents who live in a different city or town in Canada that provide different settlement facilities and programs for newcomer families, their experience with the local school, might be very different from the mothers in my research. In fact, these are areas for further research. Connelly and Clandinin (1990) warned against the practice of generalization in narrative inquiry. In the writing of narrative inquiry, instead of “broadening,” it is essential to “concentrate on the event” and “focus on the event’s emotional, moral, and aesthetic qualities” in the process of “burrowing” (p. 11). This is what I strive to achieve with the stories of the four families. Luckily, as I have mentioned before, when I conducted

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the research on Chinese immigrant families, I also acted as Research Assistant in the SSHRC-funded project entitled, “Cross-Cultural Narratives of Schooling: Shanghai-Toronto-Beijing Sister School Network.” The CoPI of project were Professor Michael Connelly at OISE/UT, and Shijing Xu at University of Windsor. The purpose of the research project is to establish and institutionalize a community sister-schools network between China and Canada for the purpose of fostering cross-cultural experiences for teachers and system administrators. During the research, I attended exchange activities within the sister school network where teachers and school administrators from both countries visited each other, and schools on both sides tried to incorporate cross-cultural content into the curriculum. The data I collected in the school sites complemented my own study on Chinese immigrant families and forged a fuller picture of the familyschool relation. This chapter draws a picture of the methodology and methods that I employed in the current study. By using narrative inquiry, I had the opportunity to give a rich description of the inner world of the mothers in my study. The stories of and by the mothers revealed the mothers’ views, opinions, and emotions in dealing with their children’s education in a new environment. In the next chapter, I will discuss the intergenerational relation in these families, and how it affects the children’s schooling experience.

Note 1. All the participants’ names are pseudonyms.

References Chase, S. E. (2005). Narrative inquiry: Multiple lenses, approaches, voices. In N. Denzin & Y. Lincoln (Eds.), Handbook of qualitative research (3rd ed., pp. 651–679). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Clandinin, D. J., & Connelly, F. M. (2000). Narrative inquiry: Experience and story in qualitative research. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. Connelly, F. M., & Clandinin, D. J. (1990). Stories of experience and narrative inquiry. Educational Researcher, 19(5), 2–14. Craig, C. (2010). Research on the boundaries: Narrative inquiry in the midst of organized school reform. The Journal of Educational Research, 103(2), 123– 136.

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Dewey, J. (1938). Education and experience. New York: Collier Books. Eisner, E. W. (1991). The enlightened eye: Qualitative inquiry and the enhancement of educational practice. New York: Macmillan Publishing Company. Elbaz-Luwisch, F. (1997). Narrative research: Political issues and implications. Teaching and Teacher Education, 13, 75–83. Geertz, C. (1995). After the fact: Two countries, four decades, one anthropologist. Cambridge: Harvard University Press. Hinchman, L. P., & Hinchman, S. K. (Eds.). (2001). Memory, identity, community: The idea of narrative in the human sciences. Albany, NY: State University of New York Press. Hogan, P. (1988). A community of teacher researchers: A story of empowerment and voice. Unpublished manuscript, University of Calgary. Holstein, J. A., & Gubrium, J. F. (2000). The self we live by: Narrative identity in a postmodern world. New York: Oxford University Press. Langdridge, D. (2007). Phenomenological psychology: Theory, research and method. London: Pearson Education Limited. Laslett, B. (1999). Personal narratives as sociology. Contemporary Sociology, 28, 391–401. Liang, S. (1975). The spirit of Chinese culture. Taipei, Taiwan: Zheng Zhong Press. McKeon, R. (1952). Philosophy and action. Ethics, 62(2), 79–100. Polkinghorne, D. E. (1995). Narrative configuration in qualitative analysis. In J. A. Hatch & R. Wisnieski (Eds.), Life history and narrative (pp. 5–23). London: Falmer. Richardson, L., & St. Pierre, E. A. (2005). Writing: A method of inquiry. In N. Denzin & Y. Lincoln (Eds.), The Sage handbook of qualitative research (3rd ed., pp. 959–978). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Schwab, J. J. (1969). The practical: A language for curriculum. School Review, 78(1), 1–23. Spradley, J. (1980). Participant observation. New York: Holt, Rinehart, and Winston. Wallace, J., & Louden, W. (2000). Ethics and research: Malcolm. Teachers’ learning: Stories of science education (pp. 141–156). Dortrecht, The Netherlands: Kluwer. Xu, S. J., & Connelly, F. M. (2010). Narrative inquiry for school-based research. Narrative Inquiry, 20(2), 349–370. Yeung, K. (Producer), & Lau, J. (Director). (1994). A Chinese Odyssey [Motion Picture]. Hong Kong: Cai Xing Film Corporation.

CHAPTER 4

Intergenerational Relationships

This chapter delves into intergenerational relations in the four families. The relations between the two generations are discussed from the following perspectives: the mothers’ immigrant experience, and its influence on their views of the local culture and schools; the acculturation process, and the differences between the two generations; and the mothers’ parenting practice. The literature on the characteristics of Chinese culture will place the mothers’ acculturation process into perspective. I also draw upon the literature on Chinese immigrant parents’ acculturation experience in North America to interpret the lived stories of the four mothers. By tracing the mothers’ immigration journey, and their gradual change in parenting practice, I situate the mothers’ stories in a certain temporal space, where the mothers were trying to get adjusted to their new environment. The narratives depict how the mothers’ past experience informed their present life, and how in striving for a better future, the mothers wanted their children to draw resources from both Chinese and Canadian cultures. This chapter provides a picture of the challenges and difficulties the mothers encounter in managing their children’s schooling, of which the biggest challenge will be to get to know the local culture and the local school practice.

© The Author(s) 2020 X. Chi, Cross-Cultural Experiences of Chinese Immigrant Mothers in Canada, Intercultural Reciprocal Learning in Chinese and Western Education, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-46977-1_4

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4.1

Journey to the West

Journey to the West is the title of one of the four most famous Chinese classic novels. It tells the story of the legendary pilgrimage to India of the Buddhist monk Xuan Zang in the Tang Dynasty. Xuan Zang set out on this journey to obtain sacred texts of Buddhism. It was loosely based on a historic text Great Tang Records on the Western Regions (Xuan, 2012), and traditional folk tales. It was adapted into a TV series in the 1980s, which has been very popular with the audience, especially young people. Journey to the West has become a symbol for adventures to unknown cultures and places. I think this imagery fits well with the immigration journey of my research participants. Accompanying the decision to immigrate, there is always the sense of adventure, risk-taking, and discovery. The immigration experience provides a social backdrop for my current research and helps to better understand the new challenges and opportunities facing Chinese immigrants. Roughly speaking, there had been two waves of immigration to Canada since the foundation of People’s Republic of China. One took place at the end of the 1970s, while the other one was in the 1990s. In the first wave, people from the southern coastal provinces of Guangdong and Fujian went abroad to be laborers. In the second wave, with the open-door policy, students pursued further study in overseas universities. The Hong Kong film Eight Taels of Gold (Cheung, 1989) featured the story of the homecoming of a man who worked as a taxi driver in San Francisco. The protagonist borrowed eight taels of gold jewelry from his friends in the US, so that he could have a glorious homecoming to his village in the southern part of mainland China for the first time in 16 years. He also brought all his savings with him to buy gifts for his relatives. His family threw a grand banquet where nearly the whole village showed up. He had to stand there accepting such gifts as a live duck or a chicken from them and giving tens of US dollars in return. A fellow villager who came back from San Francisco to get married with a local beauty was better off since he owned a Chinese restaurant in the China Town of San Francisco. He gave a firework display to the whole village. And the movie depicted accurately the status of overseas Chinese in Chinese society before the 1990s when China had a centralized economy, and average people had few material possessions. With the exception of the political dissents who sought asylum overseas, the primary motive for going overseas during this period of time was to have a better life in material terms.

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This situation has dramatically changed since the 1990s. China has transformed herself from a society with few resources to one of the biggest economies in the world. My parents and in-laws often told me that from the 1960s to the 1980s, even if they had the money, the goods in circulation were so sparse, that they could not buy anything. Growing up in the 1970s, I also had memories of wearing old patchy clothes of my brother’s. My parents were university graduates who worked as engineers in a factory, and they could not afford to buy new clothes for my brother, my younger sister, and me. In the summer of 2010, an article in one of China’s most popular and influential newspapers, Nanfang Weekly, raised lots of buzz. The article entitled “How many elites are seeking immigration? What are they seeking for?” reported on the third immigration wave from mainland China (Yan, 2010). What distinguishes the third wave from the first two was that the newly emerged wealthy class and intellectual elite have become the main force of immigration. The immigration application process would cost one several thousand Canadian dollars, and the applicants are required to show a bank statement with sufficient funding that would support a family of three members for at least one year in Canada, which would be approximately 105,000 RMB (19,836 CAD) (https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/ immigrate-canada/express-entry/documents/proof-funds.html). When interviewed, a better education for the next generation is cited as one of the top reasons for immigration. The ever fiercer competition over high-quality educational opportunities in China causes many middle-class parents to turn their eyes to overseas. One of the interviewees in the article, Mr. Ma, who immigrated to Canada in 2001, thus described his Chinese immigrant friends: When they were in China, some of them were university teachers, some were senior managers in companies, some were technical experts, while in Canada, they worked as truck drivers, porters, and cashiers. One of his friends chose to go back to school and became a first-year university student at the age of 40. How to adjust oneself to the new reality and not to be defeated by a sense of loss is a big challenge that most of the new immigrants are faced with. I have a friend who came from a major city in China and is an expert in computer technology. She was the senior member of the technology team in a major bank and won an outstanding performance medal in her province. She now works as a senior computer technician in a university located in a small town in Ontario and is in charge of the maintenance of the computer network at the school. She

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said to me that her present responsibility is small compared to her job in China. She was surprised by some of her colleagues’ lack of knowledge of China. Once, one of her colleagues saw some photos of a remote mountain area of China, which depicted local people living in huts. Her colleague asked her if she lived in such poor conditions in China. She was greatly upset and found photos of her hometown to show to her colleagues and proudly said to them, “See, my hometown is a modern metropolitan city.” This situation leaves much to be desired in establishing mutual appreciation and understanding. Many of my Chinese immigrant friends find themselves in an awkward situation. On the one hand, they feel great kinship with China and are deeply hurt by negative images of China in the media and public opinion as if it were a slap in the face, while on the other hand, they dread the question, “If your country is so great, and you are so proud of it, why do you immigrate?” Unlike the protagonist in Eight Taels of Gold who showered the whole village with gifts, some new immigrants from mainland China rely on financial support from their family members in China. Meiping told me that she had a friend who just bought a big house in her neighborhood. Her friend did not have a job, and her husband worked as a laborer. They borrowed the money from their parents who stayed in mainland China, and they planned to make some money by renting some of the rooms in their house. Meiping and her husband can be regarded as good representatives of the third wave Chinese immigrants. They ran a kindergarten in their hometown, and Meiping’s husband is an artist who claims the patent of a certain form of art. The family lived in a three-storied villa and hired a nanny to do the housework. Mike went to a private international school whose tuition fee was four times above the average. In their new life at Canada, their living conditions greatly changed. For a while, their only income was the tutoring fee earned by Meiping, and the family had to share a three-bedroom apartment with a young couple. The reality of not being able to find a satisfactory job that would sustain the same living standard as they used to enjoy back in China had led to the couple’s decision to live the niulang and zhinv life. Meiping stayed in Toronto with Mike, her husband went back to China with their younger son to run their kindergarten. In the summer, when the school is over, Meiping and Mike fly back to China. In the interval, her husband and the younger son fly to Toronto to visit them during holiday seasons. Mike expressed to his parents his exasperation over such a way of life, “You have wasted all the money on travelling. Why do we have to keep two homes?”

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Qian Zhongshu, one of the foremost twentieth-century Chinese literary scholars and writers wrote a novel entitled Fortress Besieged. In the novel, Qian (1980) borrowed a French proverb to describe the state of marriage: “Marriage is like a fortress besieged (fortresse assiegee): those who are outside want to get in, and those who are inside want to break loose” (p. 97). This novel was adapted into a very popular Chinese TV mini-series in 1990 and “fortress besieged” entered into people’s daily language. Interestingly, many friends of mine describe their immigration experience by the term “fortress besieged.” What’s more interesting is that they describe themselves as neither inside the fortress nor outside it. Instead, they are standing on the wall of the fortress, deliberating on which would be a better way out. In many cases, neither prospect seems enticing. The toll this mind-set takes on one’s life is self-evident. It is like living in a vacuum, without clear motivation for any next-step action. The learning curve I have been through during my years in Canada echoes the stories of my research participants. I quit my teaching position at a university in Shanghai to pursue further study in Canada. Because of the financial strain, I was in desperate need for a part-time job. I asked a local friend to take a look at my resume. She exclaimed with surprise, “You are totally over-qualified. You’d better downplay it a bit.” In China, I already obtained a Ph.D. degree in English Literature and won a national translation prize, and numerous teaching awards. I crossed out some of my educational background and sent out dozens of job application letters, but got no response. The change from a well-respected university teaching position to unemployment eroded the foundation of my confidence. I started to question whether I could have a future in Canada, even when I got my second Ph.D. degree. What if I still got zero response for my job applications? If I went back to China upon graduation, could I find a better position than before? If not, had I made the right decision in quitting a greatly coveted job? My parents said to me that I should move on with my life and try to have a baby instead of spending more time on a degree. They started to think that I was squandering away precious time. Coming from my parents who were always supportive of my life decisions, it had a strong impact on me. I also felt guilty that I had to turn to my parents for some financial support. I am an adult and it should be my turn to take care of them. I remembered over the period of several months, I kept asking myself the question, “Is this worth it? Is this a disastrous decision?” Seeing me in such a dilemma, my husband would say to me, “I don’t want to see you in such a miserable position. Let’s go home.

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We can have a comfortable life.” I strongly resisted such an idea, “That feels like being defeated. If I did not get the degree, it would haunt me for the rest of my life. I already lost several years of work experience, for what?” I could not forget the helpless look in my husband’s eyes. I just conveyed to him the message that I would be miserable either way. That was when I had an epiphany: I was engaged in an internal fight with myself where there was no winner. How had I, known among close friends and family members as the optimistic person, turned so negative? This was when I stopped whining and started to focus on my study. In retrospect, it seems crystal clear to me this is what I should have done from the beginning. Yet, it took me nearly two years to overcome this sense of uncertainty and be able to find pleasure in my research work again. Likewise, new immigrants all need to go through this process and come to terms with the reality. After all, what they are undergoing is lifechanging. No matter what they have achieved, and how successful they used to be in their careers, they have left it behind when they embarked on the new journey. The mothers in my research all confided in me that during some down moments they doubted their decision to immigrate. Why were they going through so much hardship when they could have a more comfortable life in China? Meiping said, “It feels like that there aren’t many good prospects waiting for us. For me, it’s just living the life day by day. There isn’t any achievement that I can make.” Hua was a middle school English teacher in China, and she felt confident that she could find a job in Toronto. She did massive job-hunting without any positive result. She was upset by this, “I am still young. I want to have a career.” This disillusionment with life in Canada sometimes spilled over and became emotional pollution for the entire family. The mothers in my research all had found their own ways to deal with this difficult situation. Meiping chose to shuttle between Canada and China and maintain her career in China, while providing her eldest son with a continuous Canadian school education. Hua was considering pursuing some further study. Yun and Ying decided to have a better career prospect in Canada by pursuing further school study. Yun took online college courses on nursing, while Ying was studying statistics at a university. Their first-hand school experience in Canada helped them better understand the local culture and generate many insightful reflections on Chinese philosophy and cultural practice. The former Lieutenant-Governor of British Columbia, the honorable David Lam thus described immigrants’ attitude and role in Canadian society,

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Multiculturalism is not totally understood. People think that it is my shield, my wall, my protection. Leave me alone to speak my own language, follow my own culture and do my own thing. If it is so, then I would ask in what way are you contributing to your country? When I speak to various groups a lot of my message is that the best way the country will improve is for everyone to contribute his or her best. Participate, I say. Coming to Canada is like being invited to a pot-luck dinner; if everyone brings leftovers, we’ll have a leftover dinner. But if one spends some of one’s time, picks one’s best recipe, and is prepared to give one’s best, we will have a feast. (Huang & Jeffery, 1992, p. 68)

This statement rings true with my own experience. As I have mentioned above, when I was in Canada, instead of embracing the new life, and new culture, I often thought of the option I could have if I were back in China. Such a mental state obviously hindered me from doing my best in whatever course I was pursuing in Canada and gave me the false sense of being a passer-by, and a tourist. It was left-over, not the best recipe that I contributed to whatever project that I was involved in Canada. It felt like I was afflicted with the “to be or not to be” question on a daily basis, and much deliberation did not help me reach a conclusion. I find that such a mentality is more prevalent with recent immigrants from mainland China. The ambivalence in the parents’ attitude toward their new life will definitely affect the dynamics in the whole family. The children will also take up this attitude of being a vacationer. Tsang, Irving, Alaggia, Chau, and Benjamin’s (2003) research of 93 satellite children of Chinese origin has shown that these kinds of confused feelings prevail among this group of young people, “the decision of staying or returning is a particularly relevant issue for satellite children, as many of their parents and family members do not plan to settle in Canada…Many astronaut families actually plan to have the mother bring the children to Canada and stay until the children finish university. At that point the mother and the children will return home and the family will be reunited” (p. 374). One of my friends who is a settlement worker in Toronto finds that such arrangement has double negative effects. The astronaut family phenomenon needs some explanation. There are two major reasons. One reason is that the parents could not find a satisfactory job that could match their income in China, as in the cases with Meiping and Ying’s husband. Another major reason for this lifestyle has something to do with the immigration law in Canada, according to which, permanent residents are required to stay up to two years in

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Canada for every five years, otherwise they might lose their permanent resident status. If a permanent resident wants to become a Canadian citizen, he/she has to stay for up to 3 years in Canada within four years of the citizenship application. And when a married person obtains the citizenship, his/her spouse could maintain their permanent resident status without staying in Canada (https://www.canada.ca/en/immigrationrefugees-citizenship/services/application/application-forms-guides/ guide-5445-applying-permanent-resident-card-card-first-applicationreplacement-renewal-change-gender-identifier.html#appendixA). Many Chinese immigrants appreciate the social system of Canada and view it as a safe haven. In order to maintain their legal status in Canada, many families choose to shuttle between the two places. Hong Kongese coined the phrase “Immigrant Prison” for this phenomenon. It also best grasps the loneliness, and hardships entailed in this. An ethnographic play included in Goldstein’s (2003) book touched upon the emotional difficulties that the immigrant students in the astronaut family experience. In the play, there was a phone call between Wendy and her classmate Sam, both of whom were immigrants from Hong Kong. In a previous scene, Sam said some hurtful words to Wendy, (Very angry) Do you know what else I think? I think you want to act White. You only speak English so you can act White. You need to act White to be Joshua’s girlfriend. There’s no room in Joshua’s life for “an Oriental girl” who speaks Cantonese. (p. 155)

The following scene was the phone call between Wendy and Sam, Hello? (Pauses, then coldly) Hi Sam. What’s up? (Pauses, a little less coldly) Apology accepted. (Pauses) Yes, you’re right. My relationship with Joshua is none of your business. (Pauses) No, not yet. I’m watching the news. I’ll write the column after the news. Okay. See you tomorrow. (Pauses) Sam? Are you still there? Good. There’s something I want to tell you. It’s about my situation here in Toronto. I’m here on my own. My parents are in Hong Kong and I don’t have any brothers or sisters here either. You know, the typical “astronaut family”? Parents in Hong Kong. Daughter in Toronto.

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(Pauses) My father? He’s a journalist in Hong Kong. My mother is a doctor. (Pauses) Right. There aren’t a lot of jobs for Hong Kongese journalists in Toronto. Anyway, because I’m here on my own, my relationship with Josh is very important for me. For me, he’s like a second family. My second family in Toronto… (p. 156)

The emotionally charged scenes in the play highlight several issues that children in “astronaut families” are faced with: identity crisis, loneliness, and the lack of parental support. When the children from the immigrant families enter into a new environment, naturally, they want to become “one of us.” For Wendy, it hurts to be labeled as “acting White” for it negates the uniqueness of her as an independent person and replaces it with a blurred image where she is depicted to be compliant and selfeffacing in order to create a safe haven for herself. This is also a reminder for educators and scholars alike that when we address the educational issues from the convoluted cultural, societal, and racial angles, we tend to ignore the personal and straightforward appeal from the individual—the desire to be recognized and be accepted. The adverse impact of disrupted family structure and routine is also echoed by Mike’s experience. During the Chinese New Year, Mike was left alone at Toronto for two weeks. At that time, Meiping and her husband swapped roles. Meiping stayed in China with their younger son for a little while, for several kindergartens needed her supervision and leadership. Her husband joined her during the Chinese New Year. Before he left for China, Mike’s dad asked his roommates to cook dinner for Mike and keep an eye on him. When I talked with Mike later, he said that he would play PC games deep into the night. That was fun. When Meiping came back, to her dismay, she found that Mike was behind on all his school projects. I had personal experience with how the disrupted structure of family affected the child’s study and life. In this case, I was approached by a friend who also lived in Toronto. This friend of mine was also an immigrant from mainland China. She and her husband made tremendous investment in their son’s education. She once shared with me that she regarded reading books together with her son as the best way to communicate with him and remain abreast with his progress in the new culture. She said, “If we don’t read the same books, we will know little of what is going on in his mind and what he is referring to in his conversation. We give up our comfortable life in China so that our son can have a better

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future. We don’t want to lose him.” One day she invited me to her place and said that she had a big favor to ask. It turned out that both she and her husband had received job offers from another city. For her, this job provided a much higher salary and better benefits, while for her husband, that would be the first technical job he ever obtained in Canada. They both felt that they could not afford to let the opportunity pass. In the meanwhile, they did not want their son to move to the new city with them. Their son just began his study in a gifted class of Grade 8, and he enjoyed the competition from his peers and the challenge of the course contents. He did not want to transfer to a new school. The parents had their concerns too. Compared with Toronto, the city they were moving to was a very small city. They were worried that the school quality was not as good. After prolonged deliberation, they had decided to leave their son behind, and here was the place where I fitted in. They wanted me to move into the place that they rented and take care of their son. I would act as their son’s guardian, taking care of his meals, and making sure that no harm came to him. As an exchange, I could live at their place for free, which was a big attraction for me. I agreed and did not foresee that a few months later, I would strongly recommend to the parents that they should transfer their son to their city and live together with him. What has caused this change in me? In fact, the boy and I had a great time together. Every time when we had dinner, I would ask him about his life at school, or we would talk about the books he read, his favorite TV shows, or games. He had been in Canada for three years, and his Mandarin was still good. But he preferred to speak to me in English. I could understand it, because this is his social language. He did not know the Chinese version of many of the new terms he had picked up. Later, he told his mother that finally he found someone who could understand him and have a conversation with him in English in the family setting. Every weekend, his parents would drive nearly four hours to come back home, and they would check his homework and all the projects he was supposed to complete during that week. They then would give him some extra math or Chinese language exercises to do. At first, this seemed to be a satisfactory arrangement. But soon both the parents and I found that there were troubling signs. Behind the closed door, the boy was playing PC games late into the night. The games took up a lot of time, and for some homework projects that required careful planning and research, he simply could not find the time.

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As a result, he handed in some substandard schoolwork. The games gradually became the only topic that he was talking about during dinner time. He would talk about the history, the notorious accidents, the trading of equipment between classmates for certain online strategy games. When I reminded him of the time factor, he would politely say that he would spend more time on his homework. But it seemed that he just could not control himself. Then it became worse and worse, and I suspected that he sometimes played games into the small hours, and only had two or three hours’ sleep. He overslept and was late for school. I felt that it was time that I talked with his parents and told them about my concerns. They also noticed that their son took this period of time without parental supervision as a long vacation. The advantages for his continuing his schooling in Toronto all vanished into thin air. He used to be a top student in his class, but now he was struggling to meet the basic requirements of his courses. Despite their misgiving about the school in the new city, the parents decided to transfer their son there. One semester after the boy moved to the new city and new school, his family visited Toronto during the holiday season. I was thrilled to hear from his mom and himself that he enjoyed his new school life very much. He was back on track again. From this episode, it becomes clear that parental presence, support, and authority are very important. Disrupted family routine gives children a sense of temporariness and uncertainty, and they could not display the same commitment to their school life as when their family life is stable.

4.2

Acculturation Process

The heightened sensitivity to cultures helps bring out many interesting points that were previously ignored. Cultural differences can be detected in such daily detail as drinking water. In the Sister School project, I have noticed that when presented with coffee during their visit, the teachers from Beijing asked for hot water instead. Cold spring water won’t do. It has to be hot water. Drinking cold water is deemed as detrimental for one’s stomach. It is quite a scene in my university where teachers walk down the corridor holding bottles with hot water in their hands. Cuisine seems to be a good starter for cross-cultural conversation, and the preference in eating and drinking can be an indicator of the entrenched habits cultivated over a prolonged period of time. In his memoir, Benedict

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Anderson, the renowned scholar in area studies and the author of Imagined Communities emphasized the insight brought about by engaging with a culture different from one’s own: “The experience of strangeness makes all your senses much more sensitive than normal, and your attachment to comparison grows deeper.” The comparative outlook will “force you to start noticing that your own culture is just as strange – provided you look carefully, ceaselessly compare, and keep your anthropological distance” (Anderson, 2016, p. 77). He also shared the cultural shock he had when he first visited Indonesia in 1961. He went out for dinner with a friend and couldn’t make it back to his lodging because of the sudden downpour of rain. There was no available means for him to notify his landlady. When he went back to his lodging the next day, he apologized effusively for his absence without notice and was surprised by the calm attitude of the landlady, “The monsoon was like that, she said. You could get stuck anywhere, and boys will be boys… Later I came to realize the huge difference between how unmarried men and women were treated in Indonesian society: the young men were free to do what they wanted, but the young women were watched, guarded and kept at home as much as possible” (pp. 53–54). It takes time and opportune occasions to realize the hidden messages underlying a cultural phenomenon. 4.2.1

Acculturation Gap Between the Two Generations

I want to start off the discussion over the generational gap in the acculturation process by juxtaposing the monologue by a Chinese immigrant girl named Lily with the monologue by her mother Xiang. I interviewed the girl and her mother over the topic of cultural differences for a course work in my Ph.D. study at OISE/University of Toronto. Lily came to Canada with her parents at the age of four, and at the time of the interview she was fifteen years old. 4.2.1.1 Lily’s Monologue How one is brought up is very important to how one views this world. I know some of my values are Chinese. I can see that. I like reading fantasies. I like the adventure, the courageous acts of the heroes, which you know you can never perform in real life, such as riding on dragon back or fighting dragons. Mum doesn’t want me to read those novels. She thinks it’s a waste of time. I know she is running out of patience with me. I know she is trying to reason with me, but she repeats the same

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thing again and again like “Do your homework. Work hard. Be polite. Stop playing PC games. Don’t read useless books (novels).” If this is the way things are done for over ten years and nothing changes, you know something is wrong. Grandparents are mad at me. They say I am rude and have no manners. I don’t call them as waigong (grandpa) and waipo (grandma). You know those titles mean you are close to each other. But I don’t know how to have that kind of conversation with them in Chinese. I can be polite in English. The standard for being polite and respectful is different. In different cultures, they mean different things. In Chinese culture, you are supposed to be respectful to the grandparents and don’t speak when the adults are speaking. You can’t question authority. In Western culture it’s like if you have questions, find a good time and ask it. It’s not like you can’t speak to grown-ups, or grown-up matters are not supposed to be talked in front of kids. Before I came here, I knew what is black and what is white. Now the whole world has become a huge, huge, huge gray area. I know seeing the world as black and white is a little closeminded and I am having different perspectives now. Still, sometimes I feel lost in the gray area, then I eat, I sleep, and I play games. Mum and dad have done everything for me. I feel I am living in a well-protected shell. I want to get away from it. But if I travel around for a while, I think I can no longer come back to my home. I will not fit in. I will be a total stranger to my parents. I am scared! 4.2.1.2 Xiang’s Monologue In China, students are required to follow the track that is ordained by the teacher and the authority, and creativity is not encouraged. In Canada, it is more flexible and leaves much room for the creativity and imagination of the children. We should learn from them in this aspect. The shortcoming is that one cannot spank the children here. In Chinese tradition, we believe that “Without striking, the iron cannot be molded into a sword.” It’s the same with the children, spanking is an effective complementary method for the parents. For example, Lily spent a lot of time playing PC games. If we were still in China, I would have spanked her. Sure, I would feel sad and painful to do that, but I had to take some dire measurements so that she would get rid of her bad habits. Children need disciplining. Now I have to reason with her. When she turns a deaf ear, I am helpless. I don’t ask her to help with the housework. At present, her main task is to study well. I have cautioned her against any thought of having a boyfriend. As for the living skills, she can pick them up when she grows

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up and forms her own family. But without the environment of the school she could not learn anything. So I think time is most precious at this stage and I don’t want her to be distracted by other things. What we teach her at home is the traditional Chinese values and it might have caused confusion in her. We told her to be modest and humble, while at school she is supposed to be assertive. I noticed she was unhappy sometimes, but when I asked her she would say “everything is fine.” What transpires from the above monologues is the great discrepancy between the mother and daughter in their views and opinions. This severance between the family and school life is noted by Kooy (2006) in her book on women teachers’ professional development via book club, “The only immigrant in the country schools where I began my Canadian education, I learned very early how to accommodate and vigilantly maintain the boundaries between my school and family worlds” (p. 20). In the following part, I will talk about how this situation comes to be and the possible ways to build a bridge between the family and school. Many of the Chinese immigrant parents that I have made acquaintance with don’t have strong English skills. As I have mentioned in the opening part of the book, Chinese immigrants can find services in Chinese in almost every aspect of their life. Many Chinese immigrant families subscribe to satellite TV programs from mainland China, so that they can watch the latest TV dramas. Interestingly, it is the parents and grandparents who watch the Chinese TV shows, while the children in these families are engrossed in popular American TV shows. As a result, despite the physical distance, the parents are well informed of the current affairs and pop culture of mainland China, while they show great apathy toward news about the Canadian society. For example, when I talked with some of my Chinese immigrant friends, I found that they had the faintest idea of the hottest news that had bombarded the TV screen in Canada at that time. A lack of touch with Canadian society on the part of many immigrant parents aggravates the intergenerational gap. The four families in my study basically retained their Chinese living style in their daily life, speaking Mandarin or Chinese dialects, cooking Chinese food, celebrating Chinese festivals, and maintaining traditional Chinese values. As a result, the children in these families adopted two sets of cultural norms and values because “environmental cues activate only these beliefs relevant to the particular cultural settings” (Hynie, Lalonde, & Lee, 2006, p. 231). This situation is typical of many immigrant children who behave differently in public and private spheres and this partly

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explains why in research on intergenerational relation in immigrant families, researchers often explore the similarities and differences between the parents and children in their views on such matters as dating and marriage, since these issues fall into both public and private spheres at the same time and would give the readers some idea of value transmission in immigrant families (Fuligni, Tseng, & Lam, 1999; Hynie et al., 2006; Kwak & Berry, 2001; Lalonde & Giguere, 2008; Phinney, Ong, & Madden, 2000). What’s more, much research has been done to explore the relationship between Chinese immigrant parents’ expectation and children’s achievement at schools. The research found that many students share their parents’ views and expectations, but in some cases, the differences between the school culture, and the parents’ aspirations might cause tension between the two generations (Chao, 1996; Chen & Uttal, 1988; Dyson, 2001; Li, 2004). At one time or another, the mothers in my research expressed concern over the prospect that the emotional ties between the two generations might get eroded away as the children became immersed in the host culture and started making new friends at school. The parents wanted to be the first person from whom their children sought advice and support in times of emotional or personal stresses. This may be true with all parents no matter whether they are immigrants or not, and what is also true is that every parent needs to face the reality that their children will gradually leave the family nest and build their own families. But in the case of Chinese immigrant mothers in my research, there is one more concern: The mothers were worried that differences between Chinese and Canadian culture would cause an extra gap between them and their children. As I have mentioned in the previous chapter, the two cultures differ in significant ways. Compared with their contemporaries in mainland China, the parents in my research were deeply concerned about their children’s identity: Are they Canadian? Are they Chinese? How would the children reconcile the different values in these two cultures when they grow up? Acculturation is the process of change, which takes place through interaction with another distinct culture (Berry, Trimble, & Olmedo, 1986). And “immigrants are understood as having to reconcile inconsistencies and conflicts between aspects of their ethnic cultural heritage and those of the mainstream culture in which they find themselves” (Lieber, Chin, Nihira, & Mink, 2001, p. 249). Berry, Kim, Power, Young, and Bujaki (1989) come up with four acculturation modes: integrated, assimilated, separated, and marginalized. All the mothers in my current research

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strongly identified with their Chinese ethnic heritage, while at the same time they wanted to become more involved in the mainstream Canadian culture. Phinney (1995) has asserted that a person “can have a high ethnic identity and be either closely integrated into the mainstream culture or be separated from it” (p. 68). In the case with my research participants, English language plays an important role in hampering the mothers from building up and maintaining strong ties with other groups in the society. Despite their wish to learn more about the host culture, sometimes it was difficult for them to find the appropriate channel to achieve such goals. But with the children in these families, it is a different story. The children except for Peter, knew very little of Chinese culture despite their parents’ efforts to maintain Chinese traditions in their daily life. Peter came to Canada when he was already in high school in China. In his mother’s words, his literacy in Chinese language was better than his English. I don’t know if we can say a person’s Chinese is better than his English, but it does give one a sense that Peter has a good mastery of Chinese language and Chinese culture. All the other children in my study came to Canada at a much younger age, and their lack of knowledge of Chinese culture and Chinese language is easy to understand as the children attended local school and got to learn the values and customs of the host culture. As we all know, schools systematically teach students the prevalent ideology in a society. Naturally, students in Canada will learn about western democracy from day one in school, while primary school students in China pledge loyalty to the communist party and the socialist ideal when they become a member of the Young Pioneers.1 In the case of immigrant families from mainland China, the children will have a very different view on global affairs from their parents. This is one of the sources for tension between the two generations. From the above analysis, it becomes obvious that there tends to be an acculturation gap between the parents and their children. According to Crane, Ngai, Larson, and Hafen (2005), “It is likely that acculturation differences between parents and adolescents and their inability to resolve these differences through communication skills like empathy, acceptance, and effective problem solving account for greater family disruption and poorer adolescent outcomes” (p. 403). One of the acculturation differences between the two generations lies in self-identity. A classmate at OISE/UT once said to me, “You are a visible minority. Do you feel uncomfortable when we discuss issues concerning ethnic minorities?” This question served as a catalyst for change

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in my understanding of identity. Growing up in an environment where I belong to the dominant han ethnic group, the issue of identity never bothered me. The new realization that my appearance marked me out from the group adds a new dimension to my understanding of identity. I wonder for an adolescent of Chinese origin who has grown up in Canada, how he/she would react to their “visibility.” Children of first-generation immigrants, unlike their parents who were born and raised in foreign countries, and had firmly established their identity and self-esteem before they moved to their new home, and again unlike the third or fourth generation descendants who are better integrated to the adopted countries of their grand- and great-grandparents’, bear the full brunt of the confusion and estrangement resulting from the so-called identity crisis. This observation rings true with my research participants. As Tsang et al. (2003) have emphasized, it is very important to differentiate between such concepts as ethnic identity, citizenship, and cultural orientation when we are talking about immigration experience. “In nation states dominated by a majority ethnic group, ethnic identity and citizenship are often not differentiated among that dominant group” (p. 364). In my research, all four mothers considered themselves as Chinese despite the years they were in Canada and the fact that they all became Canadian citizens at one time or another. None of them ever described themselves as Canadian. In fact, the mothers all expressed sadness and a sense of loss when they had to apply for a visa to travel to China. According to Chinese government’s Law on Citizenship, China does not recognize dual citizenship. Becoming a Canadian citizen means giving up one’s Chinese citizenship. I think the parents’ unwavering self-identity as Chinese is caused by the fact that they grew up and reached adulthood in China, where the majority of the population is of han ethnicity. Anderson (2016) observes that when people identify with one nation, the community was “imagined,” for “regardless of the actual inequality and exploitation that may prevail in each, the nation is always conceived as a deep, horizontal comradeship” (p. 7). He then proposes that “Nationalism has to be understood, by aligning it not with self-consciously held political ideologies, but with large cultural systems that preceded it, out of which -- as well as against which -- it came into being” (p. 12). The entrenchment of cultural practice and values defines a person’s identity, which defies physical and geographical boundaries.

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In the research on immigrants’ acculturation process, many researchers have noted that “Parents and children may work through these acculturative issues at different rates, which may result in acculturation differences between parents and children” (Costigan & Dokis, 2006, p. 1252). In some cases where the parents have limited English proficiency, this gap can become bigger and bigger and cause some emotional difficulties and strain among the family members. Yun felt that the differences in culture between family and school undermined her parenting practice, What I teach her is different from what the school teaches her. When she comes home, she would argue with you from the new perspective she has learned. And I have no idea how to address such challenges.

One scene at Yun’s house stood out in my mind. When I paid a visit, Yun’s house was under renovation. The family did the painting by themselves. Yun and Mary were trying to move a kitchen table away from the wall. Yun said in Mandarin, “Lift that end.” Mary pushed it, which took Yun quite by surprise, and she nearly fell onto the ground. Yun burst out, “Aren’t you Chinese? How come you don’t understand what I said? Can’t you tell the difference between lift and push? Do you really think that you can be a Westerner?” Mary was greatly hurt by the remarks and ran back to her room upstairs. This was a very awkward moment, but I felt that I could not just pretend that nothing had happened. While helping Yun move the kitchen table, I said jokingly to her, “Even now, each time when I walked close to a door, and see either ‘push’, or ‘pull’ on it, I would hesitate for a moment. It has never become an instinct for me. Language is a tricky thing.” Yun said, “Me too.” Then I gently asked, “Why became so angry?” Yun replied, “That was the last straw. I have been thinking about this matter for a long while. There are other things. I can’t even talk to her now.” Yun said that she was worried about her children’s identity. She described her views on her daughter’s identity in the following way, She does not know who she is. That is to say, she does not know herself…she does not know ‘Who am I?’ ‘Why am I here?’ She has no purpose. She does not feel that she is Chinese, she does not want either, she does not feel that she is Canadian. She wants to be Japanese.

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Yun said that “She wants to be Japanese” because Mary was an avid fan of Japanese manga and she even taught herself to read in Japanese. Yun thought that this ambivalence toward identity was caused by different value systems. Ethnically, Mary is Chinese, but she has not been immersed in Chinese cultural systems. Mary does not view her conflicts with her parents in terms of different value systems, while for Yun this is something that she can enumerate with a long list of examples, There are lots of things, take computer use for instance, we told her that she can use the computer for two hours per day. She would say to you, kids at other households could use the computer whenever they feel like to. There are many other things. Our expectation of her is, ‘Could you get an average of over 90?’ She would say that she was in fact a very good girl, that she did not get pregnant, did not make boyfriends, and did not take drugs. She would say things like that. I think these are totally different values.

The other three mothers also had the same misgivings over this issue. At one time or another, they all said to their children, “There is no way that you can go back to China now. You cannot even function in daily life.” They all recognize the rudimentary level of their children’s mastery of Chinese language and culture. At the same time, the fact of growing up in a family where Chinese culture dominates and being ethnically Chinese has determined that the children have a complex attitude toward Canadian culture. The children’s view on the identity issue is not as clear-cut as their parents. Mike, for example, described himself as “Chinese first, Canadian second.” In my conversation with Mary, she would put her identity this way, “Chinese, I guess.” She can speak basic Chinese, but cannot read Chinese. Mary thus described the population of her school, “At my school, 90% of the people are Chinese. So there is only like two white people in our school.” She said that she did not know much of the mainstream culture of Canada and did not want to. Yun thought that her daughter might be bullied at school because she participated in an anti-bully campaign at school. When I talked with Mary, I asked her about the social activities she attended at school. Mary said that she participated in an anti-bully campaign upon her teacher’s request and did not regard herself as the victim of bullying, “Because my, I’m not like … my friends, we are more like one gang that don’t really talk to the rest of the people, so there isn’t any

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bullying happens.” And she described her “gang” as “the kind that you don’t notice.” Yun’s response to Mary’s involvement in the anti-bullying campaign illustrates that she would not take initiative in such activities. For her, only victims of bullying would be interested in participating in such actions. In different cultures, the ways of advocating for one’s own rights are quite different. Such practice is saturated with cultural codes acquired by immersion within the certain culture. For immigrant parents and students, they need to learn more about the Canadian way. According to one Canadian vice principal that I met in the Sister School project, “Self-advocacy is almost nonexistent when you are a student in China. That has to be part of the leadership piece that the administration here is been working on. Self-advocacy for parents, and also self-advocacy for students, which is not part of Chinese way of raising a kid or communicating with schools.” Yun once expressed her concern over the fact that they lived in a community with a high Chinese population because “you do not have the opportunity to have contact with the outside values.” In my visit to Yun’s house, I noticed that Mary had to ask for permission to use the computer. Yun’s husband set up a password, and in this way regulated Mary’s use of the computer. Yun said that they had to make such a move because Mary spent too much time reading manga on the computer. In my conversations with Mary about her school life and her interaction with her parents, the word most frequently used by her is “boring,” and she got excited when she talked about manga. When I used the word comics in our communication, she corrected me and said that it should be called the proper name of manga. She would speak at length of her favorite manga authors, and her efforts at drawing manga. Gérin-Lajoie (2005) states in her article on bilingual identity among youth in minority settings that identity is socially constructed and “belonging to a specific ethnic group is interpreted as being narrowly linked to social practices” (p. 902). And the youths’ rapport to the language greatly influenced the way “the same individual will identify with a specific ethnic group” (p. 903). What’s more, the youth’s knowledge of the ethnic culture will help define their identity. I once interviewed a 1.5 generation Chinese immigrant who regarded herself as Canadian first and Chinese second. She defended her position this way, “I am Chinese because of my heritage, my ancestors. But I feel more connected to Canada than to China because I listen to Canadian news everyday and know what’s going on in the world and Canada’s relation with other countries in the world. I know more about Canadian

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artists and what’s popular in the culture.” For her, China was more like a distant symbolic existence toward which she has learned to acquire the ethnically “correct” attitude—pride. As I have mentioned above, Mike also said that he is both Chinese and Canadian, and he feels equally comfortable when he speaks Mandarin or English. I also noticed during our social gatherings that Mike spoke in English with the younger people present and switched to Mandarin effortlessly when addressed by an adult. He displayed a great deal of flexibility. Yon (2000) in a study of the identity of students from different ethnic groups in a Toronto high school, coined the term “elusive culture.” The concept gestures toward “a view of culture as on-going processes, convergent and hybridized, which are implicated in the ambivalence and contradictions of social life and cultural practices rather than serving as a counter-force to them” (p. 144). Yon (2000) also found that the youth demonstrated “tremendous flexibility in their capacity to make identifications, to experiment, take risks, discard and create ideas and in these processes they resist an understanding of culture as something to simply embody, apply, or force others to have” (p. 144). In the case with Mike, he had developed a hybrid identity. It’s the combination of Chinese and Canadian. For Mary, she showed greater flexibility in embracing different cultures. In her mother’s eyes, she was not Chinese, Canadian, or Japanese. But in fact, by getting in touch with these different cultures, she was in the process of developing her identity in the multicultural Canada, which also best embodies the reciprocity and resilience in cultural exchanges. On the other hand, the complexities with cultural issues can cause confusion among youth, especially when the cultures involved advocated different values. Depending on their years of stay in China, the children in my research had quite different attitudes toward China. Mary came to Canada when she was four years old, and she summed up her knowledge about China in a few words, “I know it’s a Communist country and that’s about it.” And she felt really good about her parents’ decision to immigrate to Canada, “Because I think, I find China very corrupt.” It intrigues me that Mary was also skeptical toward the mainstream culture in Canada, “I know there is a big difference and I don’t want to go over there (referring to Canadian mainstream culture), ‘cause it seems to be a bad place”. I think one of the reasons why she has such a reaction might be due to the discrimination and prejudice she felt that her mother has been subjected to, “I find that my mom gets taken advantage of at work, which really makes me want to go up there, but I can’t because then she

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will be fired.” According to a study that compared the academic, emotional, and behavioral functioning between Asian adolescents and their Caucasian peers in the US, In the area of academic functioning, Asian American adolescents in this study conformed to the general perception that they are academically oriented and good students. Asian American adolescents had significantly fewer school expulsions and suspensions than their Caucasian counterparts….Significant differences were found in the levels of social problems, with Asian American adolescents reporting considerably more social problems than their Caucasian peers. Asian American youth reported being teased more often, being too dependent on others, and being rejected by peers. (Lorenzo, Frost, & Reinharz, 2000, p. 296)

Difference in cultural norms could cause misunderstanding between the two generations. A basic question of “What is being polite” can have totally different meanings in the two cultures. I have learned from news reports, and online posts that many Chinese grandparents who visited their children in Canada or the US complained about how rude their grandchildren were, and how it was hard for them to strike a bond with them. The blood ties did not seem to work magic. For example, a Chinese child is not supposed to address his/her grandparents on a first name basis. Because of the importance of family in Chinese social relations, family titles have been applied to people that lie beyond the family circle. We are expected to address our parents’ friends as “uncles” and “aunts,” and there seems to be no boundary for privacy. All the “uncles” and “aunts” will take it as their own responsibility to lecture the children on how to behave well. “If he/she were my child, I would never tolerate such outrageous behaviour” is the comment often heard on such occasions. Usually, the parents will not be offended; instead, they will welcome support from such sources. At the same time, if the children did not excel in their studies, their parents would feel great pressure from the people surrounding them. This pressure is also passed onto the children. The Chinese children I meet here are told to call me ayi (aunt), and they reluctantly called me that in front of their parents. When we were alone together, they would switch back to Xiaohong again. I am perfectly all right with this, and I knew that they called me on a first-name basis, because they took me as their friend. In my view, there was nothing disrespectful in that. But the parents were upset and would tell the children again and again to call

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me ayi. During one of the social gatherings, Yun and her husband complained to the guest present that Mary did not study well. Her school marks left much to be desired. One of her friends, Hui, suggested to her, “Come to my house. My son, George can help Mary with her study.” Later, Yun said to me that Mary would never ask help from George. It was true that they were good friends when they were little. Mary did not think highly of George because he was very obedient to his mother. She thought that he was a Mama’s boy. In Mary’s eyes, the fine line between being respectful to the authority and the elderly and being dependent and servile seemed to be blurred. From this, we can see how the values from the two cultures keep wrestling with each other, and the same behavior might get totally different interpretation in the two cultures. Because of the gap in acculturation process, conflicts will arise between the two generations. A report on Singtao Daily, the largest Chinese daily newspaper in Canada, touched upon this issue (Feng, 2011). This report was about “the emotional difficulties and sense of failure” Chinese parents went through when their children moved out at the age of 18. In the report, Kevin was a Chinese-Canadian who was born and raised in Vancouver. His parents immigrated from Hong Kong. Both parents had a full-time job and had little time to communicate with their children. To make matters worse, both parents spoke Cantonese at home, while Kevin spoke English. They had great differences in culture and interest, which resulted in misunderstanding and miscommunication between the two generations. Upon high school graduation, Kevin found a part-time job and informed his parents that he would move out of their family house and rent a basement room and had no plan to go to college. His parents were doubly upset, and in desperation they sought help from their community organization Open Door. The Director of Open Door said, “Every year, our organization would receive over 10 similar cases. But as the children had already moved out, if they chose not to cooperate, there was little that the social workers could do for help.” He then added, “In immigrant families, the parents speak Chinese, while the children speak English; the father watches Manchester United (soccer game), while the son watches Canucks. Both sides seldom talk to each other.” As a result, the chasm between the two generations became larger and larger. I also heard several similar stories from my immigrant friends. For the parents, when the children moved out and quit college study, the life they led would be out of the track that the parents felt most comfortable with.

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No wonder under such circumstances, the parents panicked, I agree with the Director in the news report when he said that “to avoid such crisis, the parents must make changes and try to learn about the culture of their host country.” This might be the best way for the parents to understand the logic behind the child’s behavior. The attitude toward China often causes conflicts between parents and children in immigrant families from mainland China. Tibet is one of the sensitive topics within Chinese community, and the mothers in my research all believed that the issue with Tibet was China’s internal affair, and no other nations should try to interfere. Taiwan is another issue of great controversy. One Chinese immigrant father once told me that when his son said that Taiwan was an independent country, he was so furious that he wanted to kick him. “Taiwan has always been a part of China.” These words are all too familiar to me because they have been repeated over and over again in the media and the textbooks of mainland China. Hua took a more relaxed view on such matters, “I don’t think that we could blame our children for holding certain views. They have just heard one side of the story. Show them other pieces of the story, and they can come to their own conclusion.” She also believed that the parents need to give the children more opportunities to get to know China—the mundane everyday China where common people go around carrying out their lives. The parents felt hurt when their children looked at China merely as a totalitarian communist regime with a poor human rights record. For the parents, criticizing China is like seeing faults with one’s parents, while for the children such patriotic feelings are directed toward Canada. During my years in Canada, in the social gatherings I have attended with my Chinese friends, the conversation exclusively centers on Chinese politics. The novel A New Life written by the award-winning Chinese-American writer Ha Jin depicts the life of a common Chinese family who immigrated to the US in the 1990s. Ha (2007) had similar observation in the novel: “I glad Nan stopped mix with his Chinese friends. When they’re together, they talk nothing, only politics. How to save the country, how to run government, how to take Taiwan back, how to beat Japan, and how to deal with USA. Everybody like prime minister or something” (p. 51). During one of the social gatherings that I attended together with Meiping’s family, my Chinese friends talked about the tension between South and North Korea, and the strategy the Chinese government should adopt

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amidst such turmoil. They recalled the history of the Korean War and discussed the possibility of another war. They also talked about the corruption of Chinese officials, and how this might affect the stability of China. I have never heard them talk about the politics in Canada. The children present looked bewildered by what their parents were talking about, for the terms, names, and the military-strategic analysis were such a far cry from their lived reality in Canada, and the parents’ perspectives toward the Korean War was so different from the history the children learned in a Canadian classroom. In the Sister School project, one of the history teachers from China shared the following story with me. When the Canadian delegation visited her school in Beijing, one of the teachers who also taught history communicated with her. “He asked me once, ‘What triggered WWII? What’s the story you teach in China?’ I was like how could that be any different.” This story reveals the complexity of curriculum issues, and how curriculum is closely linked with the educational policy and the dominant ideology. History can be the best vehicle for studying different cultures, for the interpretation of historical events best demonstrates the cultural values cherished by different groups of people. We needn’t go afar to find compelling stories concerning history and identity. Liao (2014) points out that Taiwan was colonized by Japan from 1895 to 1945, and the generation who grew up under the Japanese reign identified themselves as Japanese. When Japan surrendered in the Second World War, and Taiwan was taken over by the Kuomintang government, the feelings of the local people were, to say the least, complicated. Naturally, recount of this period of history in Taiwan differed greatly from the history book in mainland China. According to McKay and Wong (1996), with a well-established ethnic identity, the first-generation immigrant parents tend to strongly hold Chinese standards despite pervasive Western influences in their children. “Being Chinese” thus has different meanings for immigrant parents and their children. “The acculturative gap existed between two generations in Chinese immigrant families can cause parent-child conflict and further affect children’s school performance and mental health” (Li, 2004, p. 168). In daily life, the mothers in my study became aware of many differences between the two cultures and would seize the opportunity to share their opinions with their children. The habit of pedestrians and drivers is of major concern to the parents since it is related to the safety of their children. Meiping recalled her driving tests in Toronto,

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Because the situation in mainland China is different from here. In Canada, you don’t need to stop at the intersection. If the green light is on, you drive along. So I took the road tests twice. The coach said it was hard to believe that I had six years’ driving experience in China. “Why did you step on the brake at each and every intersection?” I couldn’t help it, ‘cause in China, the traffic is chaotic. Every driver needs to be fully alert to situations in all directions. It is so!

She also mentioned a news report in Toronto on a Chinese pedestrian who jaywalked and was hit by a car. She used this report as an example to remind her son to abide by the traffic regulations. Saving five minutes by jaywalking might end up costing one’s life. We sometimes tend to overlook such matters, which in fact belies the intrinsic habits that have been built into our behavior through years of living in a certain society. The pressure of making a living in Canada also affects parental practice. The mothers in my research all expressed concern over not being able to supervise their children’s study as much as they wish since they themselves were struggling with their job, or their own study. Yun mentioned how her son’s teacher at daycare center called her to complain about her son’s hygiene, She said you don’t want your son to be looked down upon, or something like that. What she meant was the other kids wear clean clothes to the daycare everyday, but my son. ‘cause everyday I changed the underclothes for him, but he wore a sweater. He kept wearing the same sweater. And the teacher was displeased. Why didn’t you change his clothes? When I am exhausted, I just don’t want to change them everyday.

Meiping tutored around ten children at her home, and she gave classes every day except Monday. The age of her students ranged from 3 to 10, and if some parents came late in picking up their children after a lesson, Meiping had to keep an eye on them. Between all the house chore and the daily lessons, she could not find more time to spare to help Mike with his homework. As had been described by Meiping, immigrants couldn’t help comparing their present life with their former life in mainland China. The deterioration in social and financial status greatly affects the mental health of the parents, which in turn adds an extra flavor of bitterness if the children don’t work well at their studies. As Yun has put it,

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We suffered so much hardship to settle down here. The first generation had to endure all the discrimination and prejudices in their work so that they could earn enough money to support the family. My only wish is that she (referring to her daughter) has good living conditions and goes to a good school, or she will have a steady job. That’s it. I do not wish for (her to become a) doctor. That is to say, if she could be a, like a nurse with a university degree, that is good. This is my requirement for her.

4.2.2

Implications of the Language Barrier

In one of the social gatherings of Chinese immigrants that I attended, a father commented that once his son talked about Napoleon with him. It took him a while to figure out whom he referred to, for he only knew the translated Chinese name napolun of this French emperor. This provides a good example of the communication difficulties that immigrant parents and children encounter in family life. 4.2.2.1 Mothers’ Stories of English Language Learning The claim of poor English proficiency and the fact that all my research participants had received post-secondary degrees in China and immigrated to Canada as skilled workers seems to contradict each other. As college graduates in China, it meant that they had at least learned English for eight years (six years in high schools and at least two years in college). English is a compulsory course for over 90% of all college students in China (Xu, 2002). But the time and energy invested in English learning seem to be oddly matched by these learners’ inability to communicate in English in real life. A study by the global consulting firm McKinsey suggested that “only about 10 percent of candidates for positions at multinational companies are qualified; a major reason is the lack of communicative proficiency in English” (Zhao, 2009, p. 83). This phenomenon is not hard to interpret. In accordance with Chinese exam tradition, students learn English for various tests. College students need to pass College English Test (Band 4) to graduate. Many students have a substantial vocabulary, but cannot get themselves understood in daily interaction with English speakers. This is the case with my research participants. In our conversations, both Yun and Ying described their English as “mute.” They could pass the English tests required for immigration as a skilled worker, but they cannot communicate as freely as they wish in English with their

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peers. And they felt now they had passed that age period that was best for language learning. Ying actually commented that the subtleties of the language were lost on her. All the mothers except Hua in my research attended the free LINC program that is sponsored by the Canadian government (https:// settlement.org/ontario/education/english-as-a-second-language-esl/ linc-program/). When I asked them how they had benefited from this program, they all agreed that it was a positive experience for them, in the sense that they had gained some useful tips about life in Toronto (e.g., how to open a bank account, see a doctor, ask for directions, and apply for a telephone number and cable TV, etc.), made friends with some other new immigrants, and found a meaningful way to spend the first few months in the new place where they had no job, no relatives, and no sense of belonging. Meiping said, “It is a good thing to know that there are people who are in a similar situation. Some of them may even have a much better education or career background than I have. It feels like that we are in the same boat, and gives me some sense of security.” But at the same time, none of them felt that they made much progress in their English proficiency, “I still can not exchange jokes with my co-workers,” Yun said. Naturally, in an office environment, what can better serve as the lubricant in communication than a harmless and witty joke. Sometimes, by sharing a laugh, an awkward moment at work could be averted. Desai (2006) in her novel The Inheritance of Loss also touched upon the difficulty and barrier encountered by a character who spoke broken English in trying to build a close relationship with a native English speaker, “…something about their closeness being exposed in the end as fake, their friendship composed of shallow things conducted in a broken language, for she was an English-speaker and he was a Hindi-speaker. The brokenness made it easier never to go deep, never to enter into anything that required an intricate vocabulary…” (p. 25). To a certain extent, what Yun wanted to achieve is the highest standard for second language learners. To be able to understand a joke, one has to know the pun, the irony, the story, the allusion and the history behind it. On this account, I have some first-hand experience. Once I acted as the interpreter for a lecture given by a Canadian education consultant to a group of Chinese visitors. To lighten the atmosphere, the speaker chose to show some funny comic strips copied from the local newspapers, which turned out to be a disaster. Even I, the interpreter, could not quite understand the joke in it. After a few rounds of clarification between the

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speaker, me, and the audience, the joke had already turned cold. In one of the courses I took at OISE, the foreign students in our class were asked the question, “What is the greatest difficulty in living in a different culture?” One Cuban student who had been in Canada for five years and spoken English with an impeccable accent, said, “I don’t get the jokes of the local people. I always wonder ‘Should I laugh with the rest of the people or stare in front of me with a blank face?’” There are so many layers to a culture and mastering the language is only the first step. Such a small matter as not being able to share a laugh can be really frustrating when one remembers the good old days when one was the source of joy among friends. I had a similar experience with televised stand-up comedy shows. The audience laughed into tears, while I, sitting in front of the TV, was puzzled by the punch line. Just as Anderson (2016) has pointed out, “to learn a language is not simply to learn a linguistic means of communication. It is also to learn the way of thinking and feeling of a people who speak and write a language which is different from ours. It is to learn the history and culture underlying their thoughts and emotions and so to learn to empathize with them” (p. 139). Only in this way, can one overcome the dichotomous way of viewing Canadian and Chinese cultures as exclusive of each other. The gesture of reciprocity helps facilitate communication and forge ties of friendship. The knowledge of different cultures also serves as common ground for mutual understanding and appreciation. Recently, a delegation from the University of Leeds visited my college in Shanghai. During the conversation, when I mentioned that I liked British comedy sitcoms, especially, Yes, Minister and Monty Python’s Flying Circus, the whole atmosphere immediately lightened up and we had exchanges about cultural connotations in some renowned funny scenes. Our British visitor was learning mandarin and cracked some jokes by playing with homophones. He also surprised us by his expert use of the Chinese instant-messaging software WeChat. He refused our attempts to accommodate his needs and tried to pick up the Chinese etiquette concerning table manners. Such efforts on both sides render communication constructive and fruitful. From this example, we can also see that the cultural messages are omnipresent in each and every scenario of daily life, and it is a daunting task to gain cultural competence. This reaffirms my claim that both Canadian educators and Chinese immigrant parents need to make efforts to try to understand the culture of the other side, thus meeting each other halfway.

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The major barrier again lies in the language. It sometimes means small inconveniences in daily life. A young friend of mine who was a newcomer immigrant from China told me that she had been eating pizza for lunch for several weeks, because she had no clue what the other food was called. In the novel Call It Sleep, Roth (1992) writes about Jewish immigrant life before the First World War as experienced by a very young boy. There is one episode from this book which best illustrates the spiritual and emotional difficulties children go through in juggling two cultures and languages. One day the eight-year-old protagonist David was “losted” [in his own words]. He sought help from the pedestrians and was terrified to find that he was nowhere near his home since the adults couldn’t figure out which street he was referring to. “Everybody said it different anyhow. His mother said Boddeh Stritt, like that. But she couldn’t talk English. So his father told her Boddeh Street, like that. And now the man said Poddeh Street. Puh. Puh. Poddeh. Buh. Buh. Boddeh” (p. 98). Then an old lady offered him help and promised that she would bring him home. To David’s terror, she led him to the police station. “The old woman had tricked him. She had led him to a police-station and left him. He had tried to run, but they had caught him” (pp. 100–101). From what he had learned, only bad people ended up in a police station. This story again highlights the intricate nature of language use in an immigrant’s life. According to Anderson (2016), there are expressions that one cannot find a perfect match for in another culture, “Indonesian, for example, has a special word, gurih, for the taste of rice (‘deliciously pungent’ according to one dictionary). If you come from England, you are then startled to realize that the taste of rice can’t be described with a designated English word. On the other hand, Indonesian has no word like the English ‘sepia’ for the beautiful colour of old photographs” (p. 97). It is also the case with Chinese language, and there are expressions and concepts unique to Chinese culture. In our communication with English speakers, many of us have the experience of saying, “How do I put this in English?” The lack of competency in communicating one’s ideas that are rooted in one’s native culture is another source of frustration. When I first attended courses at OISE, I was troubled by the feeling that I could only convey part of my original meaning to my fellow classmates. I was also annoyed by my own timidity in the new environment. There was a voice in my mind that kept saying, “I want to be the best of myself; I want to show

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the best of myself.” Desai (2006) in her novel gave a touching description of the psychological consequences of such circumstances in her portrayal of an Indian student at Cambridge University, “He retreated into a solitude that grew in weight day by day. The solitude became a habit, the habit became the man, and it crushed him into a shadow” (p. 54). For immigrant parents, the barrier in communication more or less undermines their confidence in their abilities and skills, which in turn affects their authority in their children’s eyes. The lack of English skills can cause difficulty in new immigrants’ life, and sometimes it can even put them at risk. Meiping told me the following story: When we first came to Toronto, we decided to visit Niagara Falls. My husband cannot remember the English names of the different streets and he could not read the street signs. We went together with some newlyacquainted friends. My husband followed the friend’s car all the time. When we came back from Niagara Falls, it was well past 9 p.m. And for a while on the highway, we lost track of the friend’s car. I was scared. We did not know the way, and we did not have a cell phone. What if we got lost in the middle of nowhere! Luckily, the friend turned on the emergency lights, and we found his car again. Soon after the incident, I got enrolled in the LINC program.

The mothers’ English proficiency has also become a determining factor in the renegotiation of their professional role. As I have mentioned in the vignettes about the four families, all four mothers experienced profession changes. Meiping used to be a kindergarten principal in China, and now she gives art lessons as a tutor. Yun used to work in an import-export company, and now she is a nurse. Ying used to work as an administrator in a college, and now she is pursuing a degree in statistics. Hua used to be a high school English language teacher, and now she is a stay-home mom. Hua said that before she emigrated to Canada, with her English proficiency, she felt quite confident about her career prospects. Once she started hunting for jobs, she found that she did not have a specialty or skills. I, who majored in English literature for my post-secondary studies in China, had similar feelings as Hua. It is true that compared with other Chinese immigrants who did not study English as their major, we could function well in daily life, but in the job market, we could not apply for jobs that required special training and skills, and for those jobs that have high demand for English language proficiency, we lose the competitive edge to native speakers. Yun talked about the discrimination she

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encountered in the workplace. Yun worked as a nurse at a local hospital, and she was upset that she would be blamed for something she did not do. Those errors might seem inexcusable, but if they were attributed to her, they could be dismissed as “Oh, she is an immigrant and does not understand English well.” She was tired of being the scapegoat, but did not want to risk her job security by making complaints. Her submissive attitude toward such unfair treatment influenced her daughter Mary to develop a dislike for her profession. Once when I discussed her future career choice with her, Mary said, “Anything but what my mom does.” When I talk about the frustration caused by the lack of language skills, it suddenly strikes me that there are also great opportunities for reciprocal learning. As a proficient user of English as the second language, I would avoid talking about things intrinsically Chinese to ensure smooth communication. In some sense, I sacrifice the quality of conversation by accommodating to the needs of the listener. I had many experiences of acting as interpreter for my friends or relatives who do not speak English well. I often find myself in a situation groping for words to best convey the original meaning. Such challenges provide rich food for thought and highlight one of the intriguing features of cross-cultural experience. Academic language in Canadian schools is a great challenge for the parents and the children as well. Research studies since the early 1980s have shown that immigrant students can quickly acquire considerable fluency in the dominant language of the society when they are exposed to it in the environment and at school. However, despite this rapid growth in conversational fluency, it generally takes a minimum of about five years (and frequently much longer) for them to catch up to native-speakers in academic aspects of the language. (Collier, 1987; Cummins, 1981; Cummins, 2000, p. 34; Hakuta, Butler, & Witt, 2000; Klesmer, 1994).

As Sobel and Kugler (2007) pointed out, “Many parents with knowledge of English still lack understanding of its nuances or the academic language used in schools” (p. 64). This observation speaks true to Mary’s experience. Her father majored in engineering in a prestigious university in mainland China, and he could help Mary with her science homework. But Mary did not find this a rewarding experience, “My dad did not know the English terms, while I did not understand the Chinese words that he used. I spent much time trying to explain to him the instruction of my

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homework. Many times, both of us lost our temper, and I’d rather leave the problem unsolved than ask my dad for help.” I had first-hand experience with the challenge of academic language in my own research. For one research project that I participated in, I was observing a science class in a middle school in Toronto. At that time, the unit under discussion was electric circuits. I used to be an above-average student in my science lessons and understood the principle involved in Chinese, but when I sat in the class for the first time, I found myself at a loss as to the exact meaning of many of the English terms. Majoring in English literature, I had little opportunity to familiarize myself with English terms in science. I may know some of them, but they occur as isolated words and do not strike me as an integral part of a technical phenomenon, nor can be associated with a certain experiment that I had in Grade 8. With Chinese terms, it’s a different story. One physics term in Chinese may recall to my mind a vivid scene in my middle school. All the mothers in my research expressed the great challenge posed by such academic language. Miscommunication caused by the lack of understanding of the terms used in the local school discouraged the mothers from further involvement in their children’s school life. In Yun’s words, “We don’t know the school practice here. The knowledge we had comes from our daughter and some friends who also have children of school age. We have to rely on Mary in our communication with school. Mary looked down on us because we spoke childlike English. She would say how come you could not speak English well after so many years’ stay at Canada.” Ha (2007) gives a good example of the tension caused between two generations because of parents’ poor English: “‘Tired? We’re all living fast life here. You must do same.’ ‘That’s not proper grammar, Mom.’ What she and Nan didn’t know was that Taotao had been simmering, angry about their awkward English, which sometimes embarrassed him” (p. 194). In Yun’s family, when she and her husband lectured Mary in sophisticated Chinese, she could not understand it. As a result, silence reigned. Mary thus described the communication pattern in her family, I don’t, I can’t talk to them for a long time. It’s usually one sentence, or them talking for a long time and I’m just listening. They, my family don’t talk about anything. Well, actually. I don’t know. In family, they just want you to get your grade, good grade, that’s what school wanted again. So it’s basically the same. We don’t really talk about anything else.

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To avoid the lectures by her parents, Mary chose to obey her parents’ orders, “If they wanted me to do something and I do it, and they leave me alone after that, then I’m fine.” For her, following her parents’ orders is trade-off for alone time. I have also noticed that basic and simple Chinese was used in Yun’s family. For example, Yun would say to Mary, “Put this down over there.” She relied more on gestures to show Mary what she wanted her to do. In this case, she wanted her to put a pot of food on the stove. Mary complained to me that since her parents used such simple sentences, her Chinese vocabulary had dwindled for lack of practice. For some Chinese characters, she might know the written words, but did not know their pronunciation. When I asked Yun about the use of simple and sketchy sentences, she said that if they spoke in complicated and elaborate sentences, they would end up explaining the meaning of each word, and it would take up a lot of time. The language factor also affects the mothers’ and children’s academic performance. Ying made some very interesting comments on this aspect. She has observed that the best student in the courses she attended will be the native speakers. She made a comparison between native speaker and immigrant student: “If I concentrate on one course, and work very hard on it, I may gain an A. But if you want to obtain an A+, it is not sufficient to merely get familiar with the course content. You need to draw from other resources. It requires a wide scope and scale of knowledge.” She feels that she cannot compete with her peers whose mother tongue is English in this aspect. Her comprehension ability of English reading materials hinders her pursuit for excellence in the courses. This reminds me of a book club that I attended at OISE. Compared with other members who are native speakers, it took me longer to finish reading a book. Another striking difference between me and the other members is that they were quick to find the parallel between the story and their daily life, while I connected with the characters in a more general sense. I think this is caused by my lack of knowledge of the local culture. I may speak English as the rest of my colleagues, but it’s an English void of rich allusions and associations one picks up over years from the daily routine. I was even thrilled when I came across a description of a haircut in one of the books. Wow, one describes the motion of the barber’s hands in this way. I have never read about this in English before. Sometimes I might get carried away by this obsession with the language itself and ignore many of the social implications in the text.

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Another language factor is the public speaking skills, which are greatly emphasized in Canadian schools. I was deeply impressed by the eloquent and articulate way my classmates expressed themselves. In the abovementioned book club activities, I noticed that my Canadian colleagues seemed to be quite comfortable with expressing their ideas and feelings and many times spontaneous remarks popped up in conversations. Such outpouring serves best as ice-breaker. While in Chinese education, the oral tradition has never been very strong. In the past, the imperial exam would only take the form of written tests. There is the fear of being laughed at if one comes up with some comments that don’t seem to be intellectually profound. The restraining power of this inner dread has managed to kill many impulses, which could well be a good starter for thought-provoking discussions. In the meanwhile, the language factor can sometimes be used as an excuse by immigrants. Take myself as an example, once I remained silent in a class when a heated discussion was going on, and the professor asked me for my opinions. Under normal circumstances, I would have much to say, but this time I said that I did not quite understand the cultural implications in the phenomenon under discussion, and needed to do more background reading. After class, a classmate who was also a very good friend of mine came up to me and asked why I passed over an opportunity to express myself. She and I had had a discussion over the same topic before and she knew that I had much to say. Then she added, “Come on, don’t play the ESL card with me.” This is the first time I heard of the expression of “playing the ESL card,” although I am quite familiar with its symptoms. My friend was right. I had a very good understanding of the arguments, but did not join in the discussion because at that time I was preoccupied with some bad news I just heard from home and could not quite concentrate. 4.2.2.2 What Is the Story in a Name? In the settlement process for the new immigrants, such a small thing as one’s name will generate many stories. The Chinese pinyin system may appear to have the same letters as the English alphabet, but it has different pronunciation and phonetic rules. My name in pinyin is Chi Xiaohong, and the correspondent Chinese characters are 迟晓虹. My first name Xiaohong means “rainbow at dawn,” as I was born in early morning. It is very common for “x” to be the initial letter of a word in Chinese pinyin, while it is very rare for an English word to start with x. In Toronto, each time

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when I used the public services and was waiting for the call of my name, I was worried that I might miss my turn because the officers might mispronounce my name. To avoid such scenes, many Chinese immigrants chose to have an English name, usually popular names in English culture. It took me quite some time to decide what I wanted my colleagues at OISE to call me. At first, I thought maybe I should call myself Chi, since my last name is much easier to pronounce and in China, it is common to call a casual acquaintance by his/her last name. Then I made friends with a local girl. We had known each other for several months when she found out that my first name is Xiaohong. She was quite upset and said, “Xiaohong! You make me feel like a moron. I have been calling you by your last name for so long.” After that, I used my first name to introduce myself at OISE. Compared with my research participants, I was lucky that OISE showed greater tolerance for diversity and all my professors and colleagues had made efforts mastering the correct pronunciation of my name. It was a warm feeling when I heard my name called in the hallway or the cafeteria. I had a Chinese friend who found a job in Toronto, and she used the English name Susan in the working environment, for she found that her colleagues had difficulty remembering her Chinese name. She joked about this experience, “I have two identities; I am Susan in Canada, and XXX in China. Once I was spending the vacation in China, and a friend of mine called at my parents’ house, asking for Susan. ‘You got the wrong number. There is no Susan in this household’, my dad answered the phone this way. It was at that moment that I realized that Susan existed in another space.” All my research participants had an English name, and sometimes they tried hard to retain some of the cultural meanings of their Chinese names. Take myself for example, if sometimes I was pressured to provide an English name to make life easier, I would use Iris, for in my Chinese name hong means rainbow. But sometimes such efforts might result in an odd-sounding English name. In this case, the boy’s Chinese name means talented, and majestic, and his parents chose Genius as his English name. This is also telling about the cultural difference, for in Chinese names, it is common practice to have lofty and heroic characters as a token for good luck and success. It has become a booming business where parents seek help from “professionals” to land on the most auspicious name for their children.

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4.2.2.3 Language Acquisition for the Second Generation Language choice has always been a pressing issue for Chinese immigrants and the topic of biliteracy has attracted the attention of many researchers who are interested in the education of immigrant students. Many researchers (e.g., Hinton, 1999; Kondo, 1998; Luo and Wiseman, 2000; Mills, 2001; Oh, 2003) have found that parents who explicitly display positive attitudes toward heritage language have a strong influence on the children’s attitudes, language use and proficiency. For example, when parents choose to use the heritage language at home and enforce a heritage-language-only policy at home, the children tend to develop a more positive attitude toward and higher levels of proficiency in the language. They would also be more likely to continue to use the language even after exposure to English compared with children whose parents do not make this effort (Oh, 2003). (Li, 2006, pp. 359–360)

It is generally believed that Chinese parents hold positive attitudes toward bilingual practice (Lao, 2004). For Chinese immigrant parents, who do not master the host language and bear the disadvantages caused by this in daily life and working environment, they naturally feel the pressure to push their children to attain the English proficiency as a native speaker, while at the same time, they wanted their children to master the Chinese language and have some understanding of Chinese culture, otherwise the two generations might find it hard to communicate among themselves. A non-Chinese newcomer thus described the estrangement between the two generations, “What we do not know is that we will be asked to make an even bigger sacrifice: we will be asked to give up our children, as they become not children we know and understand, but Canadian children, and so we lose them” (Anisef, Kilbride, Ochocka, & Janzen, 2001, p. 27). In my acquaintance with Chinese immigrant families, I have noticed an interesting phenomenon. For the children who were born here, and were in kindergarten, the parents were complaining that they started to speak only English. When the parents asked them to speak Chinese at home, their response was almost the same, “I am Canadian, I don’t know how to speak Chinese.” In her case study on the language practice of late-arriving adolescents from China, Qian (2012) noted that the parents expected English to be the only language used in their children’s daily life. Some parents watched Chinese movies, but they wanted their children to watch English movies. The parents viewed English as important capital for their children to

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have a good career in the future. In the fieldwork, I find that the language practice in each family varied greatly. Meiping’s family first came to Toronto when Mike attended Grade 4 in China. Meiping and her husband intended their initial stay as a period of trial to see how well the whole family would settle in the new environment. They immediately enrolled Mike in a local school, so that he would have a taste of the school life in Toronto. In the meanwhile, they did not give up their kindergarten in China, which was still operating as usual under the management of their deputies. Over the period of six months, to Meiping’s dismay, Mike’s Chinese proficiency deteriorated quickly. Meiping said that when Mike did speak Mandarin to her, he made mistakes about word association and would use English word to substitute some Chinese words that he had forgotten. Also, for some of the new concepts that he picked up in the new school, Mike did not know their Chinese equivalents. Then, Meiping and her husband came to a decision, Pinyin, er, which he was good at, was almost completely forgotten, while at the same time, he did not make much progress with his English. So we thought this could not do, you know, we decided to go back to China. We planned at that time, er, to come back when he was in Grade 7. We did come back when he was in Grade 7. His Chinese is good and now he, er, often goes to the library to borrow very thick Chinese novels. For those words that he does not understand, he can always look them up in the dictionary, and we can teach him.

This decision helped with Mike’s Chinese, but he was faced with the challenge of the English language when he attended Canadian school again. When I first met him, Mike said that he thought his English was not that good and did not like to read novels in that language. What’s more, he could relate more to the content in the Chinese novels, “I think the Chinese novel is more suitable for me, ‘cause they mainly talked about Chinese matters, er, matters. It’s not like laowai,2 whose writings sometimes are really difficult to understand.” In my contact with Mike, I could see the great change in his English proficiency. He soon felt confident enough to start to talk with his peers exclusively in English. Meiping missed those days when Mike could read bulky Chinese classics such as Romance of Three Kingdoms. Literature functions as an ideal vehicle for understanding a culture, as it records and re-enacts typical behavior of the people within that culture. The dramatic conflicts that usually involve

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some moral dilemma show in a capsule the motives, aspirations, principles, and values of the character. Parents need to refer to such common memory to have emotional and moral appeal to the children. Such stories were interwoven into the family lore and became part of the family legacy. Till today, I still remember many of the stories that my grandma told me. My grandma was a fan of Beijing opera. Illiterate as she was, she had a treasure house of beautiful stories which became mellow in my memory as I kept revisiting them over the years, especially in the down moments of my life. To my surprise, I could always find solace and wisdom from them. The morals in those stories have been lost on me when I was young and carefree. I believe that the reading of Chinese classics will help cultivate a sense of pride in the heritage culture. Canadian educational practitioners and experts could consider incorporating the literary gems from other cultures into the school curriculum. At present, Mike’s younger brother stayed in China with their dad, but Meiping and her husband planned to have him attend the kindergarten in Toronto when he was four years old. Meiping said to me, “We think that when the kids are young, they could learn how to speak English like the native speakers. We don’t want him to learn English in China. That way he might have a Chinese accent. But we will bring him back to China to attend elementary school. We want him to have a solid foundation in the Chinese language too.” In Hua’s family, they not only spoke Mandarin, but also the local dialect of Henan province, which is where they come from, “We forced her (her daughter). We also forced her to speak the language, to learn Chinese. At home, we are always strict with her learning Chinese.” Also, both Hua and Meiping value the Chinese language from a pragmatic view, and they regard it as an asset in the future job market. Hua said that her daughter did not like to learn Chinese at all, and she tried to change her attitude in the following manner, Once we went shopping, and she saw many signs in Chinese characters. Then she asked me, ‘How come there are so many signs in Chinese?’ I said that Chinese might become the third language in Canada. I said that if you want to become a doctor in the future. You can speak English, French, and Mandarin. You can function as three persons if the hospital hires you. Why don’t they? She is quite taken by this argument. For a while after that conversation, she wants to learn Chinese.

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While with Ying, she had other concerns. She was worried that her son’s Chinese proficiency was interfering with his English acquisition, “He surfs Chinese websites everyday to read Chinese stuff. He cannot live without them even for a day, so his English makes no progress.” This is a reminder for us educators that parents and children in Chinese immigrant families are making choices as to the time devoted to the Chinese and English languages, and the children’s attitude toward Chinese language learning varies greatly, depending on the age when they first came to Canada, their Chinese proficiency, and their parents’ attitudes toward the use of these two languages. I conducted an interview for course work with a Chinese immigrant teenager named Emma over the use of Chinese and English. Emma preferred to talk in English and explained to me that she did not have enough Chinese vocabulary for sophisticated ideas. She did not have the time to do reading in Chinese. It’s interesting that she noted that Chinese language helped her in learning English, “In Chinese you have words that are pictograms, I believe, that they represent ideas, I think. So they actually look like what they mean. And somehow some part of that carried into English too. Like when I see the word smile [the Chinese equivalent is笑], I would see something banana shaped. Like some words just look like something, even though the letters themselves they do not look like anything that we have in real life, but I guess the meaning carried over from Chinese, because Chinese originally had a picture to it, and then when I looked at the English word, I could still see a picture.” She also mentioned that she did math faster in Chinese. It’s easier for her to say numbers in Chinese than it is in English. This echoes what Mrs. Lo has said in her interview about the use of languages other than English in her class, “That is for their academic improvement. Yes, English is important. They need to speak English for interactions with other people and all that. But when we get down to it, really it does not matter, like they can discuss and use whatever language they prefer to tackle a problem that is more difficult to understand” (Goldstein, 2003, p. 27). Emma had a physics teacher who came from Hong Kong. There were two students from Hong Kong who always asked the teacher questions in Cantonese. Emma said, “I would applaud the teacher because he always answered them back in English no matter what the question is and how it is posed, but he always answered in English and I think that’s very professional of him.” I asked Emma if such exchange of ideas was for whole-class discussion or just between the individual student and the teacher. She said it was

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just between them. I find it interesting that Emma would find the use of language other than English in a classroom as unprofessional, no matter what the circumstances are. The issue of language use and codeswitching for multilingual teachers is worth further investigation and research. 4.2.2.4 Lost in Translation Yun felt a bit lost as to the best way to communicate with her daughter Mary. Mary came to Canada when she was six years old and went to after-school Chinese classes for a short time, but gave up soon because the lessons were too difficult for her. So she cannot write or read in Chinese. She described her Chinese language proficiency this way, “I can speak basic Chinese, but when you, I can’t speak, use other than the basic things you use at home.” And she cannot understand the English that her parents are speaking. Yun recalled a funny anecdote when they traveled in China, “Her dad said that I wanted to have xiao chao (小炒, a Chinese phrase meaning stir-fry dish cooked in a small wok). Mary said, What, why do you want to eat grass (cao 草, the Chinese word for grass has similar pronunciation as chao).” This reminds me of another episode in my fieldwork. In the Sister School project, I accompanied a delegation from China in their visit of a local school. One Chinese teacher was known for his humor among his colleagues and liked to crack jokes whenever the occasion arose. He said to the vice principal of the school, who immigrated from Hong Kong many years ago, “Do you know why hanguo ren (Korean people) enjoyed barbecuing?” The principal asked, “Why?” “Because they are cold, they need to eat something hot.” All the other Chinese teachers were laughing, but the principal did not get the joke. In this case, the punch line fell on the pronunciation of hanguo (Korea). In Mandarin, han means cold. The joke is lost on the principal because she speaks Cantonese instead of Mandarin. Yun also touches upon the difficulty in conveying her ideas to her daughter, “We said to her how could you do things like this, that is mei chuxi. She would ask us what ‘chuxi’ means. I don’t know how to explain it. Only we Chinese can have mutual understanding of such a phrase. There are many things like that, with backgrounds, that she cannot understand.” “chuxi” is made up of two characters, and chu means return, give, while xi means interests. The literal meaning of “chuxi” will be returning interests, and no wonder Mary cannot guess the meaning of the phrase even if she knows both Chinese characters. This phrase means “promise, success, or harvest,” while mei is a negative word. So when Yun said “mei

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chuxi” to her daughter, she was expressing her disappointment at her. This expression affirms my above argument about the reciprocity pattern of the Chinese parent-child relation, that is, the children’s future success is measured in some way by their ability to return the “investment” of their parents. It does not necessarily mean that parents are expecting material rewards, but it does in some way display that Chinese parents approach their children’s education with a pragmatic view. I am also struggling with the connotations of some Chinese expressions in my research. Of all my research participants, only Mary chose to speak English. All the rest communicated with me in Mandarin. When I was translating their words into English, I sometimes could not find an appropriate word for certain expressions, which are laden with contextual meanings from Chinese culture. Taking Hua’s words as an example, when she quoted Confucius’ teachings, “There is government, when the prince is prince, and the minister is minister; when the father is father, and the son is son” (Brooks & Brooks, 1998, p. 92), she and I knew exactly what she was talking about. When I heard her words, I immediately got a picture of where she stood on the matter of parental authority. The quotes themselves were succinct, and the translation that I copied from a well-acclaimed version was very faithful to the original lines. But I guess for a person who does not have intimate knowledge of Chinese culture and tradition, these sentences might seem too sketchy and cannot generate much sympathy or reaction. One of the ways to find out how much meaning had been lost in translation, or what messages had been taken for granted and omitted from the translation, is to translate the English sentence back into Chinese, and compare it with the original sentence in Chinese. I find it a very effective way to pick out some of the cultural differences. For instance, both Ying and Hua used the phrase “diaodui” when talking about the fact that some students may fall behind if not pushed hard. The literal meaning of “diaodui” is breaking the ranks, and initially it is a military term. In Chinese school, there is the sense that schooling is like a long march that one needs to keep pace with. It is a collective activity and one does not want to be left out or lag behind. But when I translated it into “drop behind,” the above implications of the phrase were also lost. Such communicative difficulty is one example of the cultural differences that Chinese immigrant families are faced with in their day-to-day life. In the educational research field, there has been extensive discussion over the validity of translation and interpretation. In many cases, the

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researchers do not speak or understand the language of their research participants and need to solicit the help of translators. More often than not, the translators do not have the expertise in educational theory and research. And as Temple and Young (2004) pointed out, discussions around such translation work emphasize “‘correct’ interpretations, register, ethics, matching of social characteristics and neutral stances” (p. 163). For many of the examples that I cited above, techniques and skills cannot be of much help. Unlike many research projects that hire translators and interpreters who are not directly involved in the research, in my current research, I have the dual role of translator and researcher. It is true that I have the advantage of understanding my research participants without any barrier. Temple and Young (2004) also stated, “The question of who is best able to represent others when translating has many parallels with discussions by researchers in race and ethnicity and the ‘racial matching’ of interviewers. However, it is increasingly recognized that the insider/outsider boundaries cannot be as easily drawn as racial matching suggests” (p. 168). In the beginning of the book, I have emphasized my position as an insider, who had empathy with my research participants since we had the same ethnic and cultural background, and I was going through the settlement process in a new culture too. I also positioned myself in the research by interweaving my own lived experience in Canada and China with the families’ stories. But as the research unfolded, I came to realize how my training at OISE, and my position as a researcher determined that I was an outsider at the same time. My dual role as both translator and researcher does not necessarily mean that I could provide more appropriate interpretation of the field notes. The intimate knowledge of my research participants’ cultural background sometimes rendered me insensitive to some points that might attract the attention of a researcher from a different culture. Simon (1996) provides her ideas on solving translator’s dilemma, The solutions to many of the translator’s dilemmas are not to be found in dictionaries, but rather in an understanding of the way language is tied to local realities, to literary forms and to changing identities. Translators must constantly make decisions about the cultural meanings which language carries, and evaluate the degree to which the two different worlds they inhabit are ‘the same’. These are not technical difficulties, they are not the domain of specialists in obscure or quaint vocabularies. … In fact the process of

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meaning transfer has less to do with finding the cultural inscription of a term than in reconstructing its value. (pp. 137–138)

I think she touches upon some of the most important issues that need to be considered in multicultural qualitative research. This barrier in communication may seem a little frustrating for mothers and children alike, yet at the same time, it has provided opportunity for the mothers to reflect on Chinese culture, which is thrown into relief via its contact with the host culture. “Difference may be a stimulator as well as a block to communication” (Temple & Young, 2004, p. 168). In many cases, we become so attuned to certain cultural practices that we don’t even realize their existence. For example, in the Sister School project, one Canadian teacher mentioned the eye exercises students in China got engaged in during their school day. This is a practice where students work on six acupuncture points to relax the eye muscles and relieve eyes from concentrated work temporarily. When I was in primary school, we also had eye exercise every day. It is a routine that every Chinese student is familiar with. I never paid any special thought to it and only when the Canadian teacher showed his appreciation for this exercise, did I realize that I benefited from such practice, and should feel grateful. I also realize that for such a long-held tradition, I have no idea of how it came into being, and the rationale for putting it into practice. Such experience is described as darkness under the light in Chinese culture, which means that we tend to turn a blind eye to some glaring facts because we are so used to them. Yun recalled another anecdote from their early years in Toronto which aroused her awareness to certain cultural practices in Canada, When we lived in downtown, and many of the neighbours are local people. Many parents got divorced, you know. Today the daughter lived with mom, tomorrow she lived with dad. When my daughter was young, when she was six years old, she used to ask us, “Why don’t you get divorced? They have two moms and two dads. If you got divorced, I would have two moms and two dads.” I don’t know how to answer that, and there are many such things.

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Learning About the Local Culture

In understanding the dynamics within immigrant families, the concept of “implicit culture” and “explicit culture” as introduced by Hall (1959) plays a crucial role. “Explicit culture, such things as law, was what people talk about and can be specific about. Implicit culture, such as feelings about success, was what they took for granted or what existed on the fringes of awareness” (p. 85). In the discourse about generational cultural conflict, there is a tendency to allocate too great a part and therefore to place too much blame, on language alone. In fact, the language barrier is only a small part of the general communication deficiency and the cause of this much broader deficiency should rather be sought in those “implicit” cultural factors. Anderson (2002) has noted similar phenomena in his study of children in the bicultural family and pointed out “how boundary, as the zone of cultural contestation, is embodied in the person of the child and how, despite perceptions that cultural movement and human fluidity result in the disappearance or diminishing of boundaries at one level of analysis, they paradoxically reappear in another – the family” (p. 114). In the Chinese immigrant families that I observed, it was quite clear that although most of the children managed to speak the native tongue of their parents, they spoke a language stripped of the context where it had in the first place acquired the meaning. In many cases, it was difficult for the children to understand the social code behind the language, since the implicit culture, which determines the “culturally correct” command of language, was hard, almost impossible, to explain, “Culture hides much more than it reveals, and strangely enough what it hides, it hides most effectively from its own participants” (Hall, 1959, p. 53). When Mary was sitting comfortably on the sofa, Yun often said to her, “You should behave like a lady. Do not cross your legs. Do not shake your legs like that.” The deportment and manners emphasized by Yun are regarded as an important part of good upbringing, especially for girls. Mary always protested by saying, “I am at my own home. Why should I sit up straight? It is tiring.” For most people, the attachment to one’s native culture is established more through the mundane and routine day-to-day interaction with other people in the same culture, during which process the widely acknowledged behavioral code, and moral and ethical principles are quietly assimilated. When both generations are complaining about the handicap of language in their reaching out to each other, in fact it is not much of a

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Babel tower that they find themselves in, but a self-inflicted state of confusion caused more by the presumptuous stand each has taken about the other culture. In this sense, it is noteworthy that in some cases, the language barrier is taken as a ready excuse for the parents when actually no appropriate parenting efforts are made; and much in the same way, this is cited by the children as a pretext to shut themselves off in a space that is free from parental intervention. Immigrant youths’ adjustment to the local culture is regarded as an important indicator of their psychological well-being. According to a study by Wong (2000) of the inner-city Asian-American adolescents, compared with Asian immigrant youth who had retained Asian cultural values and traditions, Asian immigrant youth who were more assimilated to the mainstream culture had been found to suffer less from depression. When I mentioned such findings to the mothers in my research, they all agreed that this was an issue that they were constantly grappling with. They viewed themselves as outsiders who welcomed the refreshing experience of getting to know one’s culture better through comparison and contrast with another culture, and they were ready to change some of their parenting practice to meet the demands of the new society. But as far as cultural values and norms were concerned, without an exception, they all held dear the traditional Chinese ones. They all reflected on difference in the acculturation process between themselves and the next generation. Ying said that when she moved to Canada, she already had formed her own value system on this world. The new life would give her new materials to reflect upon, but it would not shatter the foundation of her beliefs, and cultural habits. But for the children, their views on the world were still in the process of making, and the differences between their school teachings and their family culture can cause some tension between the parents and the children. The parents all tried to pick up some practice and customs in the Canadian culture. Yun was struck by the difference between China and Canada in eating habits. In Chinese families, if possible, there will be three hot meals. As I mentioned before, the mother in the documentary Chinese School, cooked delicious meals and brought them to the place that her family rented near her daughter’s school. This way, her daughter could eat three hot meals and have better nutrition. Yun said that it was impossible for all family members to go back home to have lunch because of the time schedule. But she would cook more food for dinner, part of which would be put into the lunch box. This way, all her family members could

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still eat home-made meals, which contained vegetables, meat, and fruit. Later, in her contact with her colleagues, she found that their lunch was very simple. One of her colleagues ate two bagels covered with cream for every lunch. “You see, the cultural difference,” said Yun. She was stressed about making hot meals every day. Now she learned to prepare something simple. Sometimes she bought some ready-made meals from the supermarket and prepared them by simply putting them into the microwave oven. The other mothers did the same. Cheese, pizza, hamburgers, various sauces, and ready-made meals gradually entered their family dishes and were welcomed by the children, who wanted some change from the familiar Chinese dishes. There was a saying among Chinese people, which is, Westerners know how to enjoy life. From the media, we get to learn that some Westerners go to volatile and uncharted places for their vacations, which formed a sharp contrast with the Chinese way of vacation. In my younger days, a family vacation was still a novelty, and the average families could not afford traveling around for fun. In recent years, with the increase in wealth, tourism has become a growing industry in China, and a typical Chinese vacation would be to go sightseeing in a renowned tourist attraction, and take photos as a reminder that one has been there. When Chinese people immigrated to Western countries, they tried their best to adapt to the local lifestyle. One of the signs was that Chinese immigrant parents tried their best to have some vacation activities for the children. But still there was great cultural difference in the way they spent their vacations. The famous “Tiger Mother” Amy Chua (2011) has mentioned the difference between her husband Jed’s family (in her book, obviously represents a White family) and her own parents, Jed’s parents often vacationed without their kids. They traveled with friends to dangerous places like Guatemala (where they were almost kidnapped), Zimbabwe (where they went on safari), and Borobudur, Indonesia (where they heard the gamelan). My parents never went on vacation without their four kids, which meant we had to stay in some really cheap motels. Also, having grown up in the developing world, my parents wouldn’t have gone to Guatemala, Zimbabwe, or Borobudur if someone paid them; they took us to Europe instead, which has governments. (p. 57)

With Meiping and Ying’s families, they spent their vacations mainly traveling back and forth between China and Canada. As Meiping jokingly put

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it, “I have donated3 most of the money that I have earned here to the airlines.” Hua and Yun’s families sometimes traveled to the States or went skiing during vacation times. Hua said that she did not want her daughter to feel left out when her peers talked about their vacations in great excitement. The parents sometimes accompanied their children to the movies to watch the newly released blockbuster movie. Meiping said that she could not understand what the characters were saying in the movie, but it’s worthwhile since Mike enjoyed it very much.

4.4

Chinese Parenting Style

“Comparative studies have consistently characterized Chinese parents as highly restrictive and controlling, or ‘authoritarian,’ where unquestioned obedience to authority is stressed rather than two-way open communication between children and parents (Chao, 1994; Chiu, 1987; Kelly & Tseng, 1992; Kriger & Kroes, 1972)” (Gorman, 1998, p. 73). In my fieldwork, I found that the four mothers’ interaction with their children all fell into this type. The mothers gave out orders as to what they wanted the children to do, and these demands centered around a few points: Do your homework. Work hard. Be polite. Stop playing PC games. Stop watching TV. Don’t read useless books (novels). Mike and Peter would comply with their mother’s wishes most of the time, while Mary ignored her mother’s demands and spent her time as she wished. But Mike and Peter said that they knew that in Chinese culture, they were supposed to be obedient and show respect to their parents. Many of the behavioral characteristics in Chinese parents can be traced back to a striking feature in Chinese culture as summarized by Liang (1975) who writes that Chinese people pay more attention to content than form. In our social practice, Chinese people ask if the proceedings will yield the desirable results, instead of paying meticulous attention to all the necessary protocols or regulations. This feature could help us understand many Chinese parenting practices. For example, many Chinese parents force their children to do things that they don’t like with the following reasoning: This is for your own good. You will thank me for my strictness and insistence when you grow up. The emotional stress or bitterness the children might experience for the present is just a small price that one pays for a greater purpose. I used to hold this parental practice as something peculiar with Chinese culture, until I read the following lines in Emile, or On Education by Rousseau where he described the typical behavior of the parents,

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“You are always saying, ‘What I ask is for your good, though you cannot understand it. What does it matter to me whether you do it or not; my efforts are entirely on your account’” (1921, p. 129). Rousseau lamented upon such parenting practice by pointing out that obedience and docility on the parts of the children may be the sign of credulity and lack of critical thinking. All the parents in my research want their children to retain such traditional Chinese values as respect for education, belief in hard work, and filial obligation (Chao, 1996; Ho, 1994; Hsu, 1953; Lin, 1956; Siu, 1994), and viewed abandonment of these values as unacceptable and upsetting. Hua directly quotes Confucius when she talks about parent-child relations in her family: We are a traditional Chinese family, so we stick to the traditions, that is, “The ruler is a ruler, the minister is a minister, the father is a father, the son is a son” (Brooks & Brooks, 1998, p. 92). You cannot, er, it is unacceptable if the son shows disrespect to the father.

This is exactly what Liang (1975) has stressed when he argues that China is a society formed around ethical relationships. In the above Confucian quote, every person’s role and responsibility in the society is clearly defined, and each individual should show reverence and decorum to such order. When I pointed out to Hua that these values are not taught in a Canadian school, she showed great confidence by stating, “She (Hua’s daughter) does not know that much yet. We instil these ideas into her mind first.” One day, I talked with Hua about how in Canada parents are supposed to respect the wishes of their children. Hua thought that the parents should not be too lenient with their children’s study, and again she emphasized the authority of the parents, “I don’t know how to put this. What could kids know? I think in this aspect, it’s a little too, how to say it, too humane.” Hua, more or less, views the differences between Chinese and Canadian cultures as a race between the family and the school. If the values and ideas that she believes get to be transmitted to her child earlier than the school, she feels that there is a better chance that the traditional Chinese values will be preserved in her child. From her attitude, it becomes clear how she views the two sets of values as exclusive of each other. The most frequently used expression by Chinese parents in parenting is “tinghua” (which literally means “listen to the speech and do as one is told”). Children are expected to be polite and

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respectful when they are talking with their elders. Western education is based on the encouragement of self-expression in students, while Chinese culture encourages obedience and self-effacement. The following words from Yun could tell us more about the reasoning behind Chinese parenting, When we were in China, we taught her that Mom and Dad are the most important people in her life. She must obey us because I gave birth to her. But here, she won’t listen to this and argues with me. When we first arrived at Canada, we sometimes spanked her. Up till now, she cannot forgive us. In fact, we quit spanking her a long time ago. But still, sometimes she would be like, how could you treat me like that?

It seems obvious that on the matter of physical punishment, parents and daughter have very different ideas. Mary was deeply hurt that her parents ever spanked her, while Yun’s attitude is that “She must obey us because I gave birth to her.” This echoes a prevalent mind-set among Chinese parents, which can be described as a possessive/dependent pattern. The following story told by Yun could be regarded as an example, One of my patients was an old woman who married a man with ten kids. She did not have her own child, but tried her best to take care of her husband’s children. She never felt that she suffered losses. You know, be good to children who are not her own. What she thinks is that I have made great efforts. I treat all the kids as my own, and they treat me well too. From the old woman’s attitude, I started to think, ‘Well, the foreigners have different family values. You know, we Chinese will think that these are not my own children. They won’t treat me well when I am old. Also, there was another case with one of my colleagues. He married a woman with two kids. He liked to talk about the two kids as if they were his own. Our Chinese colleagues would joke with him and say that he was really a fool to raise other persons’ children.

Yun reflected on this cultural difference and said, “We Chinese always want to have many kids. Like us, I gave birth to a son when we are middle-aged. We felt as if we struck gold. In fact, it’s hard to say whether the son will treat you well.” Yun’s comments also reveal that by seeing alternative ways of parent-child relations where there might be no blood tie, Yun started to learn to appreciate values different from hers.

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Physical Punishment

All four mothers mainly socialized with other Chinese immigrants, from whom they learned about customs and rules in Canadian society. They felt that the most important lesson that they have learned was “Do not spank your child.” They were warned that their children will learn from their school teachers to call 911 if they were mistreated by their parents. They even heard of cases where children were taken away from their parents and placed in the care of children’s services. This has become an urban legend among Chinese immigrants, and veteran immigrants usually offer it as one of the most important tips for new immigrants. For one of Yun’s friends, this urban legend nearly turned true. The family only had two members, a mother and a teenage daughter, and they were newly immigrated to Canada. One day, they had a severe altercation over TV watching. The mother forbade the girl to watch TV for the night and wanted her to do some homework. The girl was greatly upset, and in her rage, she dialed 911 to report that her mother maltreated her. The mother panicked and was at a loss as to what to do. She asked her landlady for help. The landlady said to the girl that if the police did come, they might separate her from her mom. The girl was scared and said that she did not want anything bad to happen to her and her mother. She just wanted her mother to let her alone, and not to interfere with her activities. The landlady persuaded her to phone 911 again to explain that the previous phone call was a mistake. When I heard of this story from Yun, I did not know how to respond. It seems that when Chinese immigrants come to Canada, they are overwhelmed by the many rights that Canadians enjoy. Moreover, they are also confused by the responsibilities and duties that come with those rights. Unsurprisingly, all the mothers also heard of this tip and stopped spanking their children. The above example also shows the parents’ distrust for certain social services, and how they regarded any contact with the police as something menacing and terrible in nature. In their contact with immigrant parents, the teachers and administrators in the local school also learned about the taboos in Chinese culture. In the Sister School project, one principal shared her thought over this issue. In her school, the administrators tried to find ways to win Chinese immigrant parents’ trust and cooperation in such matters as eliciting the police support or acknowledging mental problems. “…we view the police as our partners, and they assist us in counseling students. You know, giving information, it’s not always about

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getting in trouble with the police or arresting them. So when we tell parents that we would like to involve the police as a supportive piece, there is a bit of panic sometimes.” Chinese immigrant parents tend to view the school as the only resource and do not make use of the larger supportive network such as community agencies, social workers, and even the police. I can easily understand the attitude of the parents, for in Chinese culture, to have contact with the police always means something huge and shameful. Ying reflected on the changes in her ways of communication with her son, I have changed a lot, and it is the change in my opinions that brings about such change. Here, it is emphasized that human rights be respected, and the children’s will be respected. So, this environment has caused you, er, not to be able to pressure him, or force him like when we were in China. This differs from the education we received when we were young. When we were young, our parents were very strict, and we must obey them. If not, we would be punished by spanking. But here, if you were a little harsh in your criticism, he would refuse to talk to you. So, when you move here, you cannot teach him with the Chinese method, ‘cause he changes. I would respect him more.

Speaking of Chinese parents’ attitude toward physical punishment, it is important to spend some time explaining the Chinese tradition on this matter. There is the old saying in China, “Without spanking, a child can hardly become a successful grown-up.” In The Dream of the Red Chamber, one of the four greatest classic novels in China, there is one famous scene where the protagonist Bao-yu’s father Jia Zheng punished him for his misbehavior. Jia was tricked into believing that Bao-yu had tried to rape a girl servant. The girl servant later committed suicide. In a rage, he decided to give Bao-yu a good chastisement. He first asked his pages to beat Bao-yu, “The pages were too frightened not to comply. Two held Bao-yu face downwards on a bench while a third lifted up the flattened bamboo sweep and began to strike him with it across the hams. After about a dozen blows Jia Zheng, not satisfied that his executioner was hitting hard enough, kicked him impatiently aside, wrested the bamboo from his grasp, and, gritting his teeth, brought it down with the utmost savagery on the places that had already been beaten” (Cao, 1981, p. 339). And poor Bao-yu passed out. Jia Zheng did not stop there, and when his wife rushed in from the inner court, and tried to remind him that this

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beating would greatly upset his mother, Lady Jia, who viewed her grandson Bao-yu as the apple of her eye, he became even more angry, “Merely by fathering a monster like this I have proved myself an unfilial son; yet whenever in the past I have tried to discipline him, the rest of you have all conspired against me to protect him. Now that I have the opportunity at last, I may as well finish off what I have begun and put him down, like the vermin he is, before he can do any more damage” (p. 340). Finally, Grandma Jia came to Bao-yu’s rescue, and when Jia greeted her with utmost respect and said that she should not bother to come over herself in such hot weather, and she could send a messenger if she had any need, she responded in a voice with “unnatural shrillness,” “Oh! Are you speaking to me? – Yes, as a matter of fact I have got instructions, as you put it; but as unfortunately I’ve never had a good son who cares for me, there’s no one I can give them to.” Jia Zheng’s response to this remark is worth noting. “Wounded in his most sensitive spot, Jia Zheng fell on his knees before her. The voice in which he replied to her was broken with tears. ‘How can I bear it, Mother, if you speak to me like that? What I did to the boy I did for the honour of the family’” (p. 341). Jia Zheng’s behavior toward Bao-yu and his mother best illustrates Liang’s (1975) point when he says that the relations in Chinese society are fluid. In front of Bao-yu, Jia Zheng has absolute authority, but a few harsh words from his own mother can cause more pain in him than a good thrashing. Of course, most modern Chinese parents will never beat their child with heavy bamboo sweep, but the tradition’s influence is still there. While the mothers in my study all believed that some light spanking can be an effective way of disciplining the child, they no longer had this as one of the parenting tools in their inventory because they were afraid of the 911 call their children might make. From my above description, we can tell that there is a great difference between Chinese and Western parenting style. Chua (2011) gives us some insights on some characteristics of Chinese parenting style. She wrote, Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything. The reason for this is a little unclear, but it’s probably a combination of Confucian filial piety and the fact that the parents have sacrificed and done so much for their children. (And it’s true that Chinese mothers get in the trenches, putting in long grueling hours personally tutoring, training, interrogating

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and spying on their kids.) Anyway, the understanding is that Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents by obeying them and making them proud. (p. 53)

Chua then summarized the difference between Western parents and Chinese parents in the following way, Western parents try to respect their children’s individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they’re capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away. (p. 54)

All the mothers in my study one time or another mentioned this difference between the Western and Chinese parents, perhaps not so clearly laid out. Chua (2011) also used some strong words in her description of Chinese mothers who “spy” on their children. I cannot recall any incident of being spied by my mom. But it is true that my parents would emphasize the importance of a good education. As a straight A student, I was spared of much of the nagging that many of my contemporaries complained of. But for my older brother, who did not enjoy his study at all, it was a different story. My mom would lecture him for hours about the significance of a university degree and warned him that if he did not put in some serious efforts, he would end up being a menial worker. Also, my mom often emphasized how much sacrifice she and my dad had made for us three children (we were born in the 1970s before the one-child policy was in effect) and how many hardships they had been through to provide for us. It would be heartless and ungrateful of us if we performed badly in our studies. What’s more, my mom is a very competitive person. In her time, a female university graduate was still a rarity. She would feel mortified if her children could not obtain a university degree. My dad pretty much left the lecturing and disciplining of us to my mom, but he would sometimes give my brother corporal punishment for doing poorly in his study to show his great disappointment, and those were painful moments for the whole family. My younger sister and I would cry by the side of my brother, and my brother looked crestfallen. In fact, my dad loved all his three children dearly. He would get up at 5:30 every morning to cook

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breakfast for us. My brother managed to get into a university and has a successful career now in a field relevant to his university major. Ironically, my brother is not particularly grateful to my mother, and when he had a son, he decided to raise him in a much-relaxed way despite the fact that all the people around him are making use of every resource to send their children to various extracurricular classes to learn piano, English, math Olympics, chess, taekwondo, ballet, etc. He said that our mother’s tyrannical way of forcing him to do drill exercises left a great scar in his heart. He had bad memory of his boyhood and it seems that his present success does not redeem that. Such grudges against my mom’s parenting methods even put a strain on their relationship. My mom once complained to me, “I was strict with your brother so that he would not be a failure in his adult life. Now he holds grudges against me. I did all that for his own good.” When we talked about his son’s education, my brother said to me, “I want him to be happy. I want to give him more playtime.” “But he will be defeated in the competition. How about his future? Aren’t you worried?” these words came out of my mouth without any premeditation. My own reaction took me by surprise because I was the one who often criticized the Chinese education system and said how it deprived the students of the pleasure of exploring knowledge. Instead, it was more of rote drills. Now, here I am, supporting the idea of subjecting my own nephew to such practice only because it seems to be the most straightforward, thus most practical way. The methods that my mom used echo some of the descriptions by Chua (2011). Besides lecturing on the importance of education, my mom spent hours and hours working on math or physics or chemistry exercises with my brother to make sure that he finally got those questions correct. The frequently used sentences under such circumstances are: “You might be resentful now, but you will be grateful when you grow up. I did all this for your own good, etc.” I witnessed many such scenes, and most of the time, my brother remained silent. Sometimes he broke into tears if my mom’s words became a little too sharp. Compared with my brother’s resentment of the authoritative parenting style, Hua was nostalgic of “the oppression” she experienced from her parents when she was young, When we outgrew the rebellious phase, we will be grateful for the oppression. Take me as an example, in high school, I did much better in science

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than in liberal arts. My teachers then were against my choosing liberal arts4 . My mom was also against it. But I don’t know what I was thinking, ‘cause at that time I was dreaming of becoming a big star one day (laughs). So at that time I was thinking, aiya5 , I should become a famous writer. I must choose liberal arts. Then I found that was the biggest mistake. Seriously, later, I complained to my mom why she did not persist, then I might not have made this choice and I might have become a doctor or other professionals.

Yun also mentioned the different parenting style between herself and her colleagues, Once we went picnicking, and all the way I was asking my daughter if she was cold, or if she was hot, or if she was hungry. The white parent6 said, ‘Why don’t you enjoy the trip? Why do you have to worry about this and that?’ These are two different types of parenting methods, right? I think there is truth in what she said.

Yun gave another example to illustrate the difference in parenting methods, One of my colleagues has a daughter who is of similar age as my daughter. She said to her daughter, ‘if you do not come home before 10 pm, then don’t stay in my house any more’. But I cannot say such things to my daughter. That won’t do. My daughter is 15 years old, and I don’t know if she has a boyfriend. Even if she has, she will keep it a secret. But they, the foreigners, bring boyfriends or girlfriends home. And their parents won’t make a fuss over it.

In the four Chinese families I interviewed, there is no emphasis on the independence of the children. None of the children did any housework chores. The parents took care of every aspect of their daily life, and the only work for the children was to study. Yun realized the lack of independence in her daughter, “Her room is such a mess. If she needs to go downtown, we have to drive her. She doesn’t know how to take the public transit.” If the children were to go to universities, it is expected that the parents would provide for them. The catchphrase kenlaozu (whose literal meaning is the group of people who feed on the older generation) in China refers to a large group of young people in major cities who have

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graduated from universities and found a job, but still sought financial support from their parents. This phenomenon is partly caused by the soaring living expenses in these major cities, but at the same time it also shows how in Chinese society parental support is taken for granted and fully taken advantage of. With such a family culture, no wonder Yun finds it useless for her to give an ultimatum to her daughter. It was like setting a price for something you have been giving away free over the years. 4.4.2

The Shaming Practice

During one episode entitled “The Great Chinese Mother Debate” on The Agenda with Steve Paikin of TVO, which was triggered off by the excerpts of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother published in the Wall Street Journal, the host Steve asked his Chinese guests if it was true that even if they got 95 in their tests, their parents would still feel disappointed and say XX down the street got a 98 (http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=RubTgT95EoQ). I know this is true with many of my friends in their parenting practice, and it resonated with my own experience. I grew up in a small town in Shandong Province, and my parents both worked in the same factory as engineers. The factory had its own residential area, and most of the employees of the factory lived in this area. Among this neighborhood of several hundred people, there were families that were admired and envied by everybody because their children excelled in learning and obtained good jobs in big cities. I remembered that the adults around me always praised Lucy, the daughter of Zheng Ayi. She had been straight A student and was teaching at a university. Every time during such conversations, the adults would inevitably add one comment, “Only if our children could be like her.” And many parents often used to push their children into working harder by saying, “Why don’t you learn from Lucy?!” Young as I was at that time, I was determined to be someone like her when I grew up. I wanted my parents to be proud of me. Personally, I am not in favor of this kind of shaming practice. But my purpose of mentioning the practice here was to point out the function it had in a child’s education. As I ponder over what this practice meant for me, it seems that in a simplistic form, it provides me with motivation. When I heard my Chinese young friends in Canada say “I don’t care,” I asked myself the question “how to make them care?” The children reacted strongly to their parents’ shaming practice and felt that they were not

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respected, while at the same time, there seemed to be no other alternative for Chinese parents to instill a sense of pride and self-motivation into their children. For the children, when they were pressured by the parents, the easy way out would be to put on a facade of “don’t care.” When Yun emphasized to Mary the importance of having a well-paid job, Mary would complain, “All that you care is money! How could you be so materialistic?” But for the parents, they were at a loss how to motivate their children. Chua (2011) in her book mentioned how she used to be called “garbage” by her father and claimed that it did not affect her self-esteem. As an adult, she once did the same thing to her daughter, “calling her garbage in English when she acted extremely disrespectfully toward me. When I mentioned that I had done this at a dinner party, I was immediately ostracized. One guest named Marcy got so upset she broke down in tears and had to leave early” (p. 51). Chua (2011) touched upon a great difference between Chinese and Western parents, I’ve noticed that Western parents are extremely anxious about their children’s self-esteem. They worry about how their children will feel if they fail at something, and they constantly try to reassure their children about how good they are notwithstanding a mediocre performance on a test or at a recital. In other words, Western parents are concerned about their children’s psyches. Chinese parents aren’t. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently. (p. 52)

Many of my friends in Canada said to me, “Your parents must be very proud of you.” My usual response was “Yes” and moved on to other topics. The fact is that my parents never expressed such feelings toward me. My dad’s highest praise for me is “Xiaohong is kind-hearted.” I remembered that our neighbors used to praise my brother, my sister, and me in front of my parents, saying how smart we were and how successful we were in our studies. When the neighbors left, my mom always said to us, “You were average. There was nothing extraordinary about you. Always remember ‘There is heaven beyond heaven, and there are people more capable than you’ (an old Chinese saying 天外有天, 人外有人).” Such an attitude from my parents taught me to be humble. When I called home, my mom often discussed with me about the education of my nephew. She was worried that the teachers today were lavishing praise on the students. She said, “I would give him a B minus where the teacher gave him an

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A. It is harder and harder for him to take criticism. He thought he was doing wonderfully.” When I talked with the mothers in my research about this phenomenon, they all shared the same opinion. To praise the children too much would create either a sense of complacency in their children’s minds, or lose its effect altogether because of the overuse. Talking about the shaming practice, the first response from the parents would be denial. They admitted that they had such practice when they were in China, but they had made changes when they came to Canada. Ying jokingly said, “Here we have few close friends. The peer pressure is greatly lessened. In China, if most of my friends sent their children to the best schools, and quit their jobs so that they could give better support to their children who were preparing for gaokao (College Entrance Exam), I guess I could not remain calm. But here, nobody knows me.” Ying’s attitude could partly explain the compromises Chinese immigrant parents make in the disciplining of their children. Her feeling of anonymity is typical of the psyche of many new immigrants. As I mentioned before, when I first met Meiping, she also said how she did not care that much about her appearance. Her comments were echoed by many of my immigrant friends. I think this attitude toward appearance is very telling of the marginality and anonymity Chinese immigrants feel in their social life. In the meanwhile, the lack of social networking and a feeling of being “out of place” in Canadian society gives the immigrant parents extra reason to demand better performance from their children. To ensure success and upward mobility, the children need to work harder. Thus, the shaming practice is still widely in use, despite the parents’ denial. Hua’s daughter was a straight A student. But if her grade was not as good as expected, Hua would tell her that she could have done better. Hua was very mindful that her daughter not become proud. The mothers also learned to change strategy when they found that the shaming practice did not have the desired result. Yun often compared Mary with her friends’ son or daughter. She would say, “Look at XX, she’s a good student. She chose education as her major. She will have a stable job. Her parents are so relieved.” Yun found that Mary became annoyed by such comparison. So she changed the method. She would tell Mary that if she got several A’s in her test, she would get a present. Yun said that such ways of encouragement seemed to work with Mary. Another interesting phenomenon in my research is that the longer the families has stayed in Canada, the less sure the mothers have become as

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to their parenting methods. Yun’s family has lived in Canada for over 10 years, and she started to question some of the decisions she has made concerning her daughter’s education. One issue at the centre of the conflict is Mary’s violin lesson. In most of my conversations with Mary, she appeared remarkably composed and cool, but she spoke with an agitated expression about the following incident even after six years, I got to learn how to play violin, but then I didn’t practice a lot. So they gave me a deal. I did the deal, but then in the end they didn’t keep the promise. The deal is if I practiced a lot for one month, ‘cause they cut it off after my third exam. They cut it off, and they said if you practiced one month one hour everyday or something, then we would put it back on. And I did that, but they didn’t.

Yun thought that she was justified in her decision of discontinuing this musical program, It is true that she practiced in that period of time, but she did not work hard. It was more like killing the time and she did not put her heart into it. Why should I waste more money if she did not make the progress that was expected by the tutor?

In this matter, Mary was deeply hurt because she thought her mother broke a promise to her, while for Yun, a promise is flexible and subject to different interpretations. Faced with all these differences in values and opinions, Yun tried to maintain a good relation with Mary by adopting a passive stance in her parenting practice, I am adopting a non-interference attitude with my daughter. I dare not criticize her, ‘cause in young, young, ur, adolescent phase, if you talk too much, she became impatient. If you persisted, you would lose the daughter. It’s almost like you have given her up to other people. So I have no choice but tolerate. There are many, many things that I had to tolerate.

4.4.3

Get the Best of Both Worlds

I find that much of the mothers’ deliberation concerning their children’s education arises from the desire to get the best of both worlds. This is a common phenomenon in cross-cultural experience. Naturally, the mothers want their children to retain some traditions of their heritage culture,

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which the mothers hold dear to their hearts. In the meantime, they wish their children to fully enjoy the benefits of the new culture, which serves as a significant motivation in the parents’ immigration decision. The aspiration to reap the best part of both cultures also becomes a source of intergenerational conflict, for what the parents deem as the gem of one culture is not necessarily compatible with the other culture. Yun sent her son to attend a Chinese class once a week in the hope that he would learn some traditional Chinese values. “Now they are learning Standards for Students and Children,” Yun told me. Standards for Students and Children was a book compiled by a Chinese scholar in the seventeenth century. He based the small book on Confucius teachings to give students and children the first lesson in Confucianism about daily manners and moral principles (Li, 2010). Yun said that every time after the lesson, the children were told to bow to the teacher and say, “Thank you for the hard work.” This small book taught students to show great respect to the elderly and the teacher. For example, if you were in the same room as an elderly person, you were expected to stand up if that person did not ask you to sit down. Mike once told me that when he first started school in Canada, every time the teacher asked him to answer a question, he would stand up. The rest of the students laughed at this odd behavior. Sometimes, the endeavors to make the best of both worlds might end up with the worst result, which has been picked up by Hessler (2011) in his observation of China’s modernization process, “Sometimes they seemed to grasp instinctively at the worst of both worlds: the worst modern habits, the worst traditional beliefs” (p. 364). In one instance, a father responded to his son’s health problem by resorting to the superstitious practice of changing the boy’s name. Chinese immigrants should guard themselves against this kind of pitfall when they try to be effective border crossers. 4.4.4

The Sacrifice Pattern

All the parents in my research tried hard to provide a comfortable living environment for their children despite the financial challenge. Meiping told the story of their choice of housing in Toronto. When we first arrived at Toronto, we stayed in the house of a Chinese family. It is called a family inn, and it provides housing for newcomer families at a relatively cheap price. The owner does not require long-term

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contract, which suits our situation well, as we haven’t decided on our next move yet. We rented one room in this house, and had to share the kitchen, and the bathroom with another tenant. When we were in China, we lived in a three-storied villa, and I found it hard for my son to get used to the new living arrangement. Soon I found that my son was ashamed of our new living condition. He was an outgoing boy. When we were in China, he had many friends. He liked to invite his friends over and had fun. Since he started school in Toronto, he had already made several friends, but he never brought any friend home. One day I asked him why he did not invite his new friends to our home. He said, where can they stay? It is true. The room was packed with our luggage and daily utensils. We immigrated to Canada so that my son could have a better life, and when my husband and I realized that living in that place had affected our son’s self-esteem, we decided to move into the three-bedroom condo. It is barely furnished, but at least my son has his own room now.

Meiping’s story again brought up the issue of the purpose of immigration, and the emotional and financial difficulties the families are faced with in the settlement process. As I have mentioned in the introduction, most immigrants came to Canada so that their children would have a better future (Anisef et al., 2001). If the immigrant children do not behave well or fare badly at school, one of the most common lectures they will get from their parents is how they are terribly disappointed that their sacrifice has come to nothing. Here the sacrifice refers to the fact that their parents gave up whatever they have achieved in mainland China to come to Canada. All the mothers in my research agreed that their children’s education and welfare is a crucial factor in their decision to immigrate, but it is not the sole reason. Yun said that she and her husband also wanted to get to know the broader world, “When we were young, we wanted to see for ourselves what it was like in the outside world. We happened to obtain the chance, and here we are.” Meiping gave her reasons on why she thought there was this blaming game by the parents, Most immigrants, to be frank, were quite well-off when they were in China. Most of them are successful, but once they were here, if they worked really hard, they might attain a status comparable to their former life in China. But if not, you also had to take it as it is. So when you finally obtained the citizenship, you would look back and say, aiya, I don’t know why I did this. So since you don’t know why you have done this, then you’d better do it for the children. The children love here. The environment is good, the air is fresh and the workload at school is light.

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So you would say I immigrated for the children. In fact, I believe that initially, most immigrants, initially, did not immigrate for their children’s sake. So it’s unfair to blame the children, for the children had no idea. Their parents made the choice for them.

Another factor that contributes to this “sacrifice pattern” is the changed roles in immigrant families. As I have mentioned in the beginning of this book, the immigrant parents usually suffered a status drop in Canada. To counterbalance this challenge to their authority, parents would like to tell the children that “I did all this for you.” This is more like a comforting thought for the parents to compensate for the sense of loss and failure when they could not achieve the same success in their career as they used to have in mainland China. The dream of having a better life is replaced by the reality that they have to start all over. The drastic change in social status will inevitably affect the parents’ psychology, which, in turn, is reflected in their attitude toward the education of their children. As the years progressed, the dream of obtaining a glorious new life fades away, and in its place, the excuse of “sacrifice for the children” becomes consolidated, and official. And as the children become assimilated into the Canadian society, there is no turning back to China, even if the parents want to. Meiping expresses this feeling in the following words, Sometimes when I feel unhappy, I would say, what am I doing here? I want to go back. But I would then think, if he (referring to Mike) went back, he would lag behind (in his study). Seriously, he would lag behind in all subject areas. Um, in such case, he might just give up and would not, not work hard any longer. If so, that would be er, a destructive, er, blow for him. So it’s impossible for us to go back.

4.4.5

Expanded Family Structure

Another factor that affected the parenting style was the changed family structure. Yun observed that she was in a even more subtle and delicate position in her relationship with her daughter when she gave birth to her son in Canada, “Because in China you can only have one child. Since we came here, we had our son. She felt that we were favouring her younger brother over her.” This is also a unique phenomenon among immigrants from mainland China that has sometimes caused tension between the parents and the eldest child. Because of the one-child policy when the family were in mainland China, the child had become used to the notion of

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being the only child and the center of attention before the families immigrated to Canada. Many parents decided to give birth to another child since now they have the option. Of the four families that I interviewed, three had a second child when they were in Canada. And the eldest children in these families found the new situation hard to face. I asked the mothers for their reason to have a second child. The primary reason is the same, “It’s because we can.” For Yun and Hua, they wanted to have a son since they already had a daughter. Meiping wanted to have a daughter, but ended up having another son, whom she loved just the same. Yun said that she and her husband also wanted to have some change in their life. Ha (2007) provided another reason for having a second child: The protagonist Nan in his novel, who was a Chinese immigrant to the US, reflected on the prospect of having a second child in such a way, “Having her would have made his life more bearable and lessened his misery and loneliness in this place. She could have become his American dream” (p. 472). In this sense, having a child is like planting a new hope and finding new meaning in the daily routine that is not very exciting. Interestingly, in the novel, Nan’s son Taotao also reacted strongly to the idea of having a baby sister, “Taotao was furious and said his parents were outrageous. ‘I’m almost thirteen. Am I going to be an uncle of the baby?’ he blustered” (p. 433). During a social gathering that I attended with Yun’s family, Yun’s husband had the following remark on the education of his two children in front of his daughter Mary, “We have screwed up with our daughter. I have decided that I am going to make it right with the little one.” In Meiping’s family, there is an eleven-year difference between Mike and his baby brother. Meiping was worried that the brothers did not get on well with each other, Mike did not know how to play with his brother. We spent the summer in China, and sometimes when he was sitting in front of the PC, his little brother came over and hit him. I think he was trying to attract his big brother’s attention. Mike was annoyed, and hit him back. Their dad always criticized Mike, ‘He is just a baby. You should be more tolerant’. Mike felt greatly wronged, and would stay at his grandma’s to be away from his little brother.

The expanded family structure is a challenge for both parents and the children. For the parents, they were learning to balance their attention

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between two children, while the elder child was learning how to welcome a new addition to the family, and get adjusted to the fact that a new member was sharing everything that used to belong to him/herself exclusively. The differences between school culture and family culture have caused the tension between the two generations. The mothers mainly resorted to Chinese traditions and values in their parenting practice, but their children learned about the Canadian ways in school. The language became the biggest barrier for the mothers to better understand the local culture and the school practice. As a result, both the children and the parents could not appreciate the subtleties in the other culture where their language proficiency was limited. The language barrier sometimes was used as an excuse for not making efforts to try to understand certain behavior or attitude. In the next chapter, I will discuss the participants’ experience with the local school.

Notes 1. Young Pioneers is a mass youth organization for children aged six to fourteen in mainland China. Pioneers of China are run by the Communist Youth League. Most elementary school students are Young Pioneers. 2. Another Chinese term for foreigners, whose literal meaning is the outsider. 3. A popular Chinese expression to mean that money is squandered or wasted. 4. Hua is talking about course selection, which will have direct impact on the choice of her university major. There are two streams: liberal arts and science. 5. A common Chinese expression used to express surprise, disappointment, or excitement depending on the occasion. 6. Yun referred to her friend this way, and I translated it literally.

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Kooy, M. (2006). The “telling stories” of teacher book clubs: Women, narrative, knowledge and professional development. Dordrecht, The Netherlands: Springer. Kriger, S. F., & Kroes, W. H. (1972). Child-rearing attitudes of Chinese, Jewish, and Protestant mothers. The Journal of Social Psychology, 86, 205–210. Kwak, K., & Berry, J. W. (2001). Generational differences in acculturation among Asian families in Canada: A comparison of Vietnamese, Korean, and EastIndian groups. International Journal of Psychology, 36(3), 152–162. Lalonde, R. N., & Giguere, B. (2008). When might the two cultural worlds of second generation biculturals collide? Canadian Diversity, 6(2), 58–62. Lao, C. (2004). Parents’ attitudes toward Chinese-English bilingual education and Chinese language use. Bilingual Research Journal, 28(1), 99–121. Li, G. (2006). Biliteracy and trilingual practices in the home context: Case studies of Chinese-Canadian children. Journal of Early Childhood Literacy, 6(3), 355– 381. Li, J. (2004). Parental expectations of Chinese immigrants: A folk theory about children’s school achievement. Race Ethnicity and Education, 7 (2), 167–183. Li, Y. (2010). Standards for students and children. Shanghai: Shanghai Chinese Ancient Classics Press. Liang, S. (1975). The spirit of Chinese culture. Taipei, Taiwan: Zheng Zhong Press. Liao, X. (2014). Homeland in the eyes of Taiwan. Hangzhou: Zhejiang People’s Publishing House. Lieber, E., Chin, D., Nihira, K., & Mink, I. T. (2001). Holding on and letting go: Identity and acculturation among Chinese immigrants. Cultural Diversity and Ethnic Minority Psychology, 7 (3), 247–261. Lin, Y. (1956). My country and my people. London: William Heinemann Ltd. Lorenzo, M. K., Frost, A. K., & Reinharz, H. Z. (2000). Social and emotional functioning of older Asian American adolescents. Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal, 17 (4), 289–304. Luo, S. H., & Wiseman, R. L. (2000). Ethnic language maintenance among Chinese children in the United States. International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 24(3), 307–324. McKay, S. L., & Wong, S. C. (1996). Multiple discourses, multiple identities: Investment and agency in second-language learning among Chinese adolescent immigrant students. Harvard Educational Review, 66(3), 577–608. Mills, J. (2001). Being bilingual: Perspectives of third generation Asian children on language, culture, and identity. International Journal of Bilingual Education and Bilingualism, 4(6), 383–402. Oh, J. S. (2003). Raising bilingual children: Factors in maintaining a heritage language. Unpublished Doctoral Dissertation, University of California, Oakland, CA.

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Phinney, J. S. (1995). Ethnic identity and self-esteem: A review and integration. In A. Padilla (Ed.), Hispanic psychology (pp. 57–70). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Phinney, J. S., Ong, A., & Madden, T. (2000). Cultural values and intergenerational value discrepancies in immigrant and non-immigrant families. Child Development, 71, 528–539. Qian, Y. (2012). Home in transition: Family dynamics and language practice. 2012 Dean’s Graduate Student Research Conference, OISE, University of Toronto. Qian, Z. (1980). Fortress besieged. Beijing, China: People’s Literature Publishing House. Roth, H. (1992). Call it sleep. New York: Farrar, Straus, and Giroux. Rousseau, J. (1921). Emile, or education (B. Foxley, Trans.). New York: E. P. Dutton. Simon, S. (1996). Gender in translation: Cultural identity and the politics of transmission. London: Routledge. Siu, S. F. (1994). Taking no chances: A profile of a Chinese-American family’s support for school success. Equity and Choice, 10, 23–32. Sobel, A., & Kugler, E. G. (2007). Building partnerships with immigrant parents. Educational Leadership, 64(6), 62–66. Temple, B., & Young, A. (2004). Qualitative research and translation dilemmas. Qualitative Research, 4(2), 161–178. Tsang, A., Irving, H., Alaggia, R., Chau, S., & Benjamin, M. (2003). Negotiating ethnic identity in Canada: The case of the “satellite children”. Youth and Society, 34(3), 359–384. Wong, S. L. (2000). Depression level in inner-city Asian American adolescents: The contributions of cultural orientation and interpersonal relationships. Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment, 3, 49–64. Xu, Z. C. (2002). From TEFL to TEIL: Changes in perceptions and practices: Teaching English as an International Language (EIL) in Chinese Universities in P. R. China. In A. Kirkpatrick, (Ed.), Englishes in Asia: Communication, identity, power & education (pp. 225–244). Melbourne: Language Australia Ltd. Xuan, Z. (2012). Great tang records on the Western regions (Z. Dong, Trans.). Beijing: Zhonghua Book Company. Yan, J. (2010, June 3). An in-depth look into the immigration wave of the elites. Nanfang Weekly. Retrieved on October 8, 2019 from http://finance. sina.com.cn/g/20100603/11198053468.shtml. Yon, D. (2000). Urban portraits of identity: On the problem of knowing culture and identity in intercultural studies. Journal of Intercultural Studies, 21(2), 143–157. Zhao, Y. (2009). Catching up or leading the way: American education in the age of globalization. Alexandria, Virginia: ASCD.

CHAPTER 5

Encounter with Canadian Schools

In this chapter, I discuss how the mothers get adjusted to Canadian schools. I first lay out the differences between Canadian and Chinese schools. Then I describe the mothers’ attitude toward extra Chinese homework, and their views on the difference between Canadian math and Chinese math. The next section deals with the mothers’ involvement with the schools, and how the mothers could be border crossers in their children’s education. In my discussion, I draw upon the literature on parentschool relations, and Chinese educational philosophy on moral education. In the narratives, the connectedness between past, present, and future is best displayed as the mothers compare their children’s school experience with their own school experience in China and seek for the best way to support their children so that they could have a better future. The reciprocal learning circle gradually takes shape. This chapter describes the mothers’ learning curve thrown into sharp relief by their adoption of different parenting methods and styles as they get to know the local school practice and culture better.

5.1

Differences in School Culture

In my conversations with the four mothers, they all, at some stage or other, express mixed feelings toward their children’s schooling in Toronto. To put their opinions and ideas in perspective, I will relate some © The Author(s) 2020 X. Chi, Cross-Cultural Experiences of Chinese Immigrant Mothers in Canada, Intercultural Reciprocal Learning in Chinese and Western Education, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-46977-1_5

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of my own experiences of the differences between Canadian and Chinese schools. As a graduate assistant of SSHRC-funded projects at OISE, I had the opportunity to visit some elementary, and secondary schools in Toronto. The first thing that struck me was that there were no walls around Canadian schools. In China, most schools are enclosed by walls, with security guards on duty at the school gate. For some large schools, there are even several gates, each guarded by security. When I stepped in the classrooms, I was surprised by the colorful decorations. Students’ artifacts, artworks, handicrafts, maps, portraits, etc. covered the walls. In a typical Chinese classroom, the walls are tidy and clean. Only one or two pictures will be put up. Sometimes at the back wall, there will be wallpaper. One visiting teacher from China once commented, “In our school, we have sanitation inspection of classrooms, and the walls should look tidy and clean. But here, they put everything up on the wall.” There are also great differences between the working culture in the schools of the two countries. In the Sister School project, the Beijing delegation attended the Thanksgiving turkey lunch at one elementary school in Toronto. The lunch was delicious, and when the Chinese teachers learned that the principal herself cooked the turkey, one of the teachers remarked, “I’m deeply moved. A principal would cook for her teachers and also do the dishes afterwards! You were like the mother of the school.” The warm and heartfelt compliment from the teacher shows the different hierarchical structure in the two cultures. Principals in China are authoritative figures who will not be regarded as equals with teachers. When the teachers learned that the principal also bought the fruit baskets, they were greatly surprised. One of the teachers commented, “This is very different. In China, it will be very hard to imagine that Principals are doing trivial things like this.” In another case, when the principal of a Toronto school picked up the Beijing delegation from the airport, they were stunned by this arrangement, and felt greatly honored. When the principal and vice principal described their relationship as sisters or friends, one of the Beijing teachers asked, “Oh, not like a superior and a subordinate?” Both principals said no together. The above anecdote would help Canadian teachers understand Chinese students’ respect for teachers. It is an ingrained feature of Chinese culture. There is another scene which reveals the cultural difference in the workplace. The exchange takes place between the vice principal and the visiting Beijing teacher Ms. Meng on the topic of the visiting teacher’s title. The VP asked Ms. Meng if they could address her as vice principal,

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Meng: I am not Vice Principal. I am Principal Assistant. VP: You are the principal assistant? Not VP? Meng: No, no VP. VP: Oh, there is no VP in China? Meng: There is age limitation to promote to VP. If one passes certain age, one would not be considered as eligible for the promotion. VP: Age limitation. So VPs are supposed to be young? What is the age limitation? Meng: 40. VP: But Principal Assistant in Canada is a very different position. It refers to someone doing secretary work, very low. But you are doing Vice Principal’s job? Meng: … (no answer) VP: Is it okay if we say VP? Let’s say VP, because we want you to be high.

During the conversation, the awkwardness is almost palpable in the air. In Chinese culture, it is deemed as a delicate matter when rank and title are concerned, and usually people who just met would not talk about such matters in case it might cause discomfort. It is better to ask her colleagues about the position. I understand that the vice principal feels a bit baffled by the title and needs some reassurance on this issue. But in the administrative structure of Chinese schools, some of the positions and the responsibilities involved do not match perfectly. As is shown in the above example, sometimes a person seems to be the perfect candidate for a position, but there is limitation set on age or qualification. In order to circumvent such specifications, another title might be invented for this person. This explains why the teacher in the above conversation showed great reluctance to make clarification. When the group of Beijing teachers attended the dinner party hosted by the local school, they also demonstrated the cultural difference. All the members hesitated when it was time to sit down at the dinner table. According to the Chinese custom, the seating arrangement is no small matter. From where I come from (the home province of Confucius), the rule is more rigidly observed. Certain seats are regarded as more prestigious than others. The Beijing teachers were waiting for the principals to sit down, and then they could decide where to sit. Also, during the dinner, the guests would touch a new dish course only after the principal had taken the first bite. When a new dish course had not come in a timely manner, people would slow

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down and stop taking food, for it is deemed as inappropriate if there were only empty plates on the table. Such small things as seating and the order to take food again show how important order and guiju (etiquette) are in Chinese culture, which serves as the parameter for measuring appropriateness of one’s behavior. Such exchanges with Chinese teachers provide local teachers with some first-hand experience of Chinese culture. The layout for offices is also different. In Chinese schools, there will be teacher offices where teachers plan their lessons and mark the homework, which constitutes one important feature of the school culture in China. Usually, teachers teaching the same grade would belong to the same office, and this physical arrangement helps facilitate communication and cooperation among the teaching staff. Teachers also share their observation on students’ behavior and consult each other on how to deal with some difficult and unexpected situations in class. When I read in the literature about learning community in teacher development, I immediately think of the teacher offices in Chinese schools, they are the loci for professional development. Chi (2018) interviewed some teachers in Shanghai with excellent track records in teaching, and one of the teachers from a key school in Minhang district shared about the team teaching in his school. The school developed its own school-based English curriculum entitled “one body, two wings.” The body refers to the textbook, while the wings refer to English newspaper reading and oral English practice in small-size classes. This beautiful image of a bird spreading her wings is an apt epitome of the ideal implanted in the curriculum. For newspaper reading, the teachers need to prepare lots of materials which is a highly demanding task. They cultivated a culture of sharing in the group of teachers, “we share with each other without any reservation. If not so, you cannot try newspaper reading. It is impracticable for individual teacher to achieve this. It almost equals hard labor. But if you have a group of five or six teachers to prepare the materials in turn, once every five weeks, it becomes possible” (p. 78). Teachers’ professional development takes place in various settings as described by Wilson and Berne (1999), “Some learning, no doubt, goes on in the interstices of the workday, in conversations with colleagues, passing glimpses of another teacher’s classroom on the way to the photocopying machine, tips swapped in the coffee lounge, not to mention the daily experience of the classroom” (p. 174). Professional development in some sense is to teach teachers how to be good learners. “…professional teaching knowledge might include, at the very least,

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knowledge of subject matter, of individual students, of cultural differences across groups of students, of learning, and of pedagogy” (p. 177). Teachers from China and Canada can learn about each other’s working culture, which contributes to another piece of mosaic in the reciprocity circle. In China, the class size is bigger. It’s normal for a class to have over 50 students. In some key high schools in such metropolitan centers as Beijing and Shanghai, some classes even have over 70 students. Even in elementary schools, Chinese teachers are specialists, each teaching his/her major in their post-secondary studies. Zheng (2006) pointed out that teachers give students a lot of handouts in Canadian classes. While in Chinese classes, noting-taking is emphasized by teachers. I remembered that as a student, my notebooks were often borrowed by my classmates for photocopying during the exam season. We were expected to record all the key points the teachers had covered in each lesson. Once I acted as interpreter for a high school principals’ delegation from China, and when we visited a middle school, the principals were surprised to see that many students did not even have a notebook with them. “How come they did not write down anything?” The Chinese term the principals used is dongbi (the literal meaning is to move your pen), which I have heard all my teachers say during my school years. The belief behind this was that while the hand was writing down the contents, it would help the brain to remember them. “In China, the classroom is for the students. Teachers go to different classrooms to teach. In Canada, the classroom is for the teacher. Students go to different classrooms to study…There is only one teacher in a Chinese class, but in Canadian classes there may be a teacher, as well as a teaching assistant or co-teachers” (Zheng, 2006, p. 5). In our conversations, Ying goes into great details about the differences in practice between her son’s present school and his former schools in mainland China, and what the difference means to her son. According to Ying, Peter is an introverted child and likes to keep his ideas to himself. I think the Canadian way is suitable for those kids who are self-disciplined, but for some kids, who do not have strong self-control, I think the methods in mainland China better suit their needs than the Canadian way. Because the big difference between China and Canada is that, kids in China, for each class there will be a head teacher. It feels like that this child is governed by a parent. This feeling of governance is good. For instance, ur, this child, this student is faced with some difficulty or whether it’s

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his/her strong point or weak point, or if he/she is worried about something, the head teacher usually knows all about it. But the subject teachers will also communicate with the head teacher. So the head teacher has a good knowledge of the whole class, while here, there isn’t such a person.

She admits that the counselor in the local school is very patient and thorough in answering the questions she and her son had over some school issues, but “you have to make the move, then the counsellor will help you. If the child is shy and does not seek his/her help, the counsellor will not contact the child. Moreover, the counsellor has to take care of so many children.” Ying also reflects upon how the different class and school settings affect her son’s experience of the Toronto school. She feels that the school system poses great challenge for a newcomer with language and cultural barriers to develop new friendships. Unlike the schools in mainland China, where students stay in the same class and have the same courses even in high school, in Toronto, high school students get to select the courses that they are taking. With different courses, you might have different classmates, “In China, he has classmates. And the seating is fixed. That means, we will sit next to each other, no matter which course we are taking. It feels closer. While here, after one class period, it is different classmates again.” The loneliness at school will also affect the children’s life after school, “If the kid’s personality, that is to say, it is alright if he/she has many friends. If not, this kid will just shut himself/herself in the house.” Ying thinks that it is hard for her son to have a sense of belonging. He is not “one of us” with his new classmates, When he first came here, he was not adjusted to the new environment. He would feel that he was an outsider. He felt that he could not become one of them, and at the same time, he felt detached from his former friends (in China). With time passing by, he had no common interests with his friends in China. He has no common topics for discussion with both groups.

She also reflects on the standard among students for popularity, “From the kids’ perspective, academic excellence does not necessarily impress.” I think Ying here brings up an important issue. Only when the teachers get to know the difference in the routine and set-up of Chinese school and Toronto school, can they better sympathize with the new immigrant students who are overwhelmed by a sense of loss on each front of their lives. The school cultures in both countries are quite different. In the

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Sister School project, one visiting Chinese teacher was attracted by the hairstyle of a boy student whose hair was long and dyed into yellow color. He asked for the principal’s opinion on that. The principal said, “We don’t care. They can have whatever hairstyle they like.” The Chinese teacher thus commented, “In our school, that won’t be tolerated. You know, you can tell if a student is from a top-notch school by looking at their hairstyle and their clothes.” Ying also compares another difference between the two school systems, In China, students don’t need to choose what courses to have. It’s just math, physics, chemistry, biology for science students, Chinese language and English language. It’s the same for all the students. For liberal arts students, they have geography, history, etc. All the students fall into these two categories (science or liberal arts). It’s really easy to manage. For the children, there is no such thing as ‘I will decide how much I want to learn.’ No. It’s all mandatory.

Ying feels that under such circumstances, the greatest challenge posed to a new Chinese student is to plan and manage one’s school life all by oneself. She observes that this difference also determines that it is hard for Canadian secondary schools to have the role of head teacher for each class, for students select different courses and have different class schedules. In the Chinese scenario, because of the fixed schedule, students identify themselves with the class unit and it’s easier for the head teacher to get to know these students. Because of the sense of belonging and the prolonged period of time spent together, mutual trust is established between teachers and students. Head teacher culture is a phenomenon in Chinese schools that is worth studying. Ying’s reminiscent account of the head teachers testifies to the significant role these teachers play in the students’ development emotionally and academically. Parents feel that they have somebody to turn to in times of difficulty. What we can learn from Ying’s account is that for newcomer families, they are faced with new challenges, and if there will be support and help tailored to their specific needs, the children and their parents will have a smoother transition into the new school culture. The support network for students recalls to my mind another episode that I have experienced. The daughter of one of my Chinese immigrant friends attended a prestigious university in Canada. She had been straight A student through her student life up till now. But things took a drastic

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downturn ever since she enrolled in the university. Her academic performance deteriorated to such a degree that there was danger that she might not be able to graduate. For the parents, it came out of the blue as they were used to the academic excellence of their daughter and never doubted her learning ability. They had little idea about her ill adjustment to the college campus culture. They tried every means to help her regain the momentum in academic pursuit and wanted to hire private teachers and enroll her in after-hour classes to help her make up for her GPA. The most difficult part is that she refused to tell her parents the truth about her current status, and they were at a loss as to how to help her. When her parents tried to contact the school, they were informed by the counselor that they could not reveal the information to them as their daughter was an adult, and they needed to protect her privacy. Because of the language barrier, I helped the parents with the communication and got to know the frustrations experienced by the parents, who were caught in the Catch-22 situation where no actions could be taken and no change could be initiated. The sense of helplessness and inescapability permeated the household. The age of the early twenties is a vulnerable and volatile period when the missed action or inaction could affect the trajectory of the future life. As a teacher of college students, I have witnessed many such cases and feel from the bottom of my heart, that the intervention from parents and teachers could make a great difference. Left alone, they often get plunged into a state of emptiness where nothing seems to matter. I wonder if there could be some ways of soliciting the support of the parents in times of difficulty. Another striking characteristic of China’s education system is the fierce competition and great emphasis on examinations. Examination has always been an overwhelmingly powerful force in Chinese education, which has a root almost as old as the cultural tradition itself. The civil service examination system was first established around the Sui dynasty (seventh century A.D.) and has ever since become a part of the social-political institution of the state: “These examinations were open, with few exceptions, to all males. They were based on the Confucian classics and were conducted, as a whole, with remarkable impartiality and freedom from corruption” (Hsu, 1953, p. 186). The examination was held on four successive levels and degrees were conferred to those who were successful in the examinations. The attainment of these degrees was “the most important qualifications for government posts” (p. 187). Some scholars who got the highest degree became prime ministers or other high-ranking officials in

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the imperial court. This literally made it possible for men from all classes and all walks of life to reach the highest social status if they worked hard and mastered Four Books and Five Classics designated as the curricula for the civil service examinations. This practice was carried on for nearly two thousand years and it helped foster a kind of national sentiment that puts an unshakable and almost infinite faith in the selective power of examinations. Two thousand years ago, Mencius said, “Some labour with their minds, and some labour with their strength. Those who labour with their minds govern others; those who labour with their strength are governed by others” (Legge, 1991, pp. 249–250). It is quite telling about the Chinese tradition that values scholarship, and learning. In the Sister School project, one of the comments from the principals strikes some jarring note in my heart. When they see that the Chinese students are so humble about their achievement, they want to help them build up their selfesteem. From my understanding, humility does not necessarily mean low self-esteem. It indicates loftier goals set up for oneself, and a more austere standard for success. In Chinese style comic cross-talk (xiangsheng ), one iconic performer Hou Baolin once delivered such a line, “excessive humility is a sign of pride.” This is meant as a joke, but I feel there is some truth in it. Instead of a relaxed and laid-back attitude which shows great appreciation for the children, Chinese parents push their children ever harder and harder so that the children could realize their potential. The adverse effect of such attitude is that sometimes the children might be pushed to the breaking point. Instead of helping boost the students’ self-esteem, my suggestion to the Canadian teachers would be to reduce the pressure for the students. Obviously, from the above example, we can see very distinct value orientation between Canadian and Chinese cultures. Miyazaki (1976) gave an account of the typical classroom activity in ancient China when civil service examination acted as the anchor of education, A class usually consisted of eight or nine students. Instruction centered on the Four Books, beginning with the Analects, and the process of learning was almost entirely a matter of sheer memorization. With their books open before them, the students would parrot the teacher, phrase by phrase, as he read out the text. Inattentive students, or those who amused themselves by playing with toys hidden in their sleeves, would be scolded by the teacher or hit on the palms and thighs with his fan-shaped ‘warning ruler’. (p. 15)

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From the above description, we may see that studying for the civil service examination is a tedious and enduring drudgery, characterized by memorization drills. It is no exaggeration when Miyazaki (1976) called the Chinese civil service examination as examination hell and to survive and excel in this system, such virtues as forbearance, patience, and perseverance are badly needed. Strict discipline is deemed as the prime rule for success in schooling and there is the old saying from the well-known Three-Character Canon, “Rear children without instructing them, and the father should be blamed; teach in a slack and lazy way and the teacher should be criticized” (Wang & Zhou, 2006, p. 11). In modern China, examinations still enjoy supreme power in education. Hurdles of examinations are set up all along the way, among which the most important milestone is the college entrance exam. In recent years, with expansion of higher education and the establishment of many private institutes, the percentage of the age cohort enrolled in colleges and universities has grown to the staggering 48.1% in 2018 (Ministry of Education, 2019), yet this trend of mass education does not slacken the fierce competition over the college entrance exam, for to have a better career prospect, students still need to strive for higher scores so that they can get accepted by prestigious universities, whose diplomas are highly valued. The chasm between top-notch universities and the rest of the universities and colleges has been widened because of the government’s priority funding policy for them in an effort to build a number of first-rate universities at the international level. These top universities are designated as 985 universities. And Project 985 is a boosting project to promote the Chinese higher education system as called for by former President Jiang Zemin at the 100th anniversary of Peking University on May 4, 1998 (http://www. people.com.cn/GB/historic/0504/6233.html). The recent double firstclass university project published by the government in late September 2017 signifies a new effort in promoting Chinese higher education on the international level. The great honor attached to high score echoes the public posting of results in ancient China’s civil service examinations. According to Miyazaki (1976), For the district examinations the names of successful candidates were written on sheets of paper large enough to hold fifty names. The name of the best candidate was placed at the top, in the twelve o’clock position, and

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the names of the rest were written counterclockwise, in order of descending rank. Then the men in charge checked each name with a mark in black ink, distinguished it with a red dot, wrote ‘successful’ (chung ) in the empty space at the centre of the list, and, lining up all the sheets, posted them in front of the yamen gates. (p. 22)

There is a tendency of idealizing the Canadian school system among Chinese immigrant parents, for they have strong criticism of some of the practices in Chinese school system. Hua describes her impression of the Chinese preschool in the following words, The management, ur, it’s totally different. The children in China have been enslaved by a framework. When I sat in some of their classes, I felt that the children had no initiatives. That is to say, what I remember most vividly is when the kindergarten invited parents to witness the lessons. The first thing the teacher asked the children to do is to put their hands on their laps, and look into the teacher’s eyes. The children were like puppets. They wanted to convey some message through the activities, but it’s more like a formality. While I feel that in the kindergarten here, it’s more like a free fun ride. You go there to play, and the children are happy.

Hua also compares the difference between the homework in these two countries, The child of my friend in China who was in first grade had to work until 9 or 10 pm on his homework, and also there was only one correct answer to the questions. There is no room for innovation. While my daughter, a short while ago they did sort of, after they learned a text, they were asked to write about ancient society. They were asked to do research on the computer. She did research on ancient China’s customs, etc. I think this way she has learned a lot without you asking her to. When I was a student, to learn about history means to memorize history, to learn about political science means to memorize political science. For my daughter, in the process of doing research, her information is richer than an adult, it almost matches what an adult knows. What’s more, she gains such knowledge without being aware of it. You did not force her to learn, but she did learn. In China, you forced her to learn, and she would resist it.

All the mothers in my study recalled how fierce the competition was in Chinese schools. Mike compared his experience in Toronto with that in China, “My school here is very relaxing, there is little homework, and

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the teachers are lenient with us. As long as you understand the content, then it’s OK. In China, the teachers pushed really hard.” The children all embraced this change and ironically, the mothers were alarmed by the lack of homework and the big chunk of playtime. The parents were used to associating good performance at study with diligent work and drill training. When the quantity parameter seems to be less important in their children’s new school life, they felt at a loss as to how to measure the performance of their children and were concerned that their children would lag behind their peers in mainland China. This is understandable since the parents knew little about the educational philosophy and principles behind the schools in Toronto, and they intuitively resorted to their knowledge of Chinese schools for reference. Hua noted another difference between Canadian and Chinese schools, What it requires is the co-operation within the group. Several people did a speech, and the cooperation is very important. I think that in China, there is no such thing as several students doing one project together. Top students are always top students. So I think, this is something really good about the local school.

I have strong empathy with her on this point. When I started to attend classes in OISE, what struck me most is the classroom atmosphere. I was shocked and deeply touched by the candor and sincerity displayed by my fellow-students in classroom discussions. In most of the courses I took at OISE, team projects constituted an important part of the lesson. Most of my fellow-students took such activities seriously and tried every possible means to present their topics in an original way. The many ingenious methods employed and the insights and in-depth ideas displayed in the activities filled my heart with wonder and admiration. I feel my fellowstudents took such activities as a platform where their individuality and creativity could be displayed. In one of the courses, the topic under discussion is arts-based inquiry. The activities in this course often involve the use of artistic forms to express or interpret abstract curriculum theories and concepts. I can think of no other words but unimaginative to describe my performance in such classroom activities. In my years of experience as a student, I have never before felt so uncertain and diffident. One of the reasons for my lack of artistic skills lies in the fact that I did not receive much training in these aspects, but at the same time, I had to admit that we do not encourage such activities in a typical Chinese classroom. The

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argument might be that such activities take up too much time, and we cannot afford such luxury in a highly competitive environment, where the looming tests dominate the teaching process. Another reason for the apathy toward this type of classroom activity could be attributed to the national character. Modesty and reserve have always been the most valued virtues that are expected of a well-educated person in China. The underlying message is a belief in a superintendent power that could discern merits in every likely or unlikely place. Chinese scholars have a faith in “being discovered” and are not anxious about how to sell their talents to the public. The intellectuals in ancient China pitied themselves for not meeting with a wise emperor. Hume (1987), in his analysis of the development of Chinese science has touched upon the national character with great insight, In China, there seems to be a pretty considerable stock of politeness and science, which, in the course of so many centuries, might naturally be expected to ripen into something more perfect and finished, than what has yet arisen from them. But China is one vast empire, speaking one language, governed by one law, and sympathizing in the same manners. The authority of any teacher, such as Confucius, was propagated easily from one corner of the empire to the other. None had courage to resist the torrent of popular opinion. And posterity was not bold enough to dispute what had been universally received by their ancestors. (p. 122)

The same rule also applies in the field of education. In my study, the mothers’ own school experience gives them first-hand knowledge of the cultural differences. For example, Yun was taking online courses at a local college, and she keenly felt the difference between Chinese and Canadian schools, The training in China is more of the basic skills, while here what is trained is the way of thinking. For example, I wrote an essay for one course based on the instructions for the assignment. The teacher said that it was filled with empty talk, and was just a to-do-list. I have been studying for two years. Why did I choose to do this? I think that I need to get familiar with their way of thinking. It was like, ur, sometimes when I spoke with my colleagues, I did not have the background knowledge. I was not here in the first thirty years of my life. So when my colleague said something, even when she was commenting on a specific matter, I did not get the meaning behind.

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Then Yun talks about the challenge of critical thinking, In that course, the teacher talked about how to break a big concept into smaller concepts, using your own, er, he also stresses the importance of critical thinking. We do not emphasize this. I think that in Canada they value this. But so to speak, I am so old now and have to learn this from the fresh start. I admit that it is important. I think that there are many things that I haven’t thought clearly. They put more emphasis on critical thinking.

The issue of critical thinking seems to be a recurrent topic with Yun, and she viewed it as the greatest attraction for her in her life in Toronto, For me, the greatest benefit of coming here is, wow, men can live this way. That is it. There is only one standard in China, right? It has this standard too. For example, for Chinese, the standard is political promotion and getting rich. They have these here too. But besides these, there are other ways. That is to say, the meaning of life is what they perceive it to be. It is not just one standard imposed on you. I think it makes you be aware of a broader world. There are many ways of living, and many ways of thinking.

In another time, Yun talked about what she most appreciated about the local education, In China you get uniformity. Here you can see different kinds, different, er, for example, my daughter has classmates who are Muslim, white, black, Chinese families or what you have. That is to say, that she can see all these different families. It also provides many opportunities to get in touch with the outside world. There is visiting student, er, exchange student from Japan. She gets to see all these. What’s more, there are many interest groups. The greatest benefit of this place is that it gives you great space for development in the direction one desires. It provides you with the platform. Another advantage is that it gives people equal opportunities for education. I mean higher education.

In the Sister School project, some teachers from China were also impressed by the diversity of the student population, “When we visited that elementary school, it was like stepping into the UN. There are students of different skin colors. They look so happy.” I am especially impressed by her comment on the high spirit of students which could be such a telling sign of the positive influence effected by the schooling. To

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some extent, it could be viewed as the highest compliment that could be made toward schools. In the above interview, Yun also touches upon a controversial issue in Chinese education system. The entrance score for the same university differs from province to province. In such provinces as Anhui, Hubei, and Shandong that are renowned for their better quality in education, the competition for getting into universities is fiercer. Yun was from Anhui province, and she still held grudge against the system that landed her in a third-rate university, “My husband called my school a ‘bogus college.’” If she lived in another province, she might have been admitted by a top-rate university. Ying felt that the Canadian system gives students greater space for individualistic development, which helps foster different learning habits from Chinese students, “they (Canadian students) have acquired many fundamental methods, or tools from an early age. They know where to look for certain materials.” As a result of such educational philosophy and training, the local students are more independent, and capable in problem-solving. “Their vision is also broader.” This reminds educators of the difference in learning style between students from different home cultures and tries to modify the teaching methods to accommodate the needs of immigrant students. Yun once mentioned that she had difficulty understanding her instructors’ request for certain assignments, “I don’t know what he/she expects of me. Even after he/she explains to me again the assignment instruction, I still don’t understand.” This reminded me of an event in my contact with a Chinese immigrant friend. Once when I was at her home, she asked me for advice on an essay assignment for her English course. Part of the instructions were as follows, Monsters are personifications or embodiments of social anxieties. For example, ghosts represent troubled pasts or personal traumas; vampires represent anxieties over sexuality, with the vampire bite representing sex; witches represent a fear of feminine power; zombies represent the fear of mob hysteria; and the Frankenstein monster represents anxieties over science… For your research project, choose a monster and examine how it relates to its contemporary social anxieties.

She complained about the task, “I have little knowledge of vampires and ghosts in Western culture. My classmates were so excited, and they talked on and on about vampire stories, history, cartoon image, and movies. It

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was all Greek to me. I thought about the ghost stories written by Pu Songling in Chinese literature because he criticized the society and government with his ghost stories. But when I explained the stories to the teacher, he looked totally lost. I didn’t want to write about something that seemed to confuse the teacher, so I decided to write about aliens. I think this topic is unfair for immigrant students.” Habitually, I view this situation from the professional perspective as a teacher and feel that this is the golden opportunity for engaging in some cross-cultural dialogue. In Pu Songling ’s ghost stories, a ghost functions as the vehicle for social and political satire. The beauties transformed from foxes share the same feelings as human beings. The purpose of their supernatural power is to teach human beings moral lessons. There isn’t the un-humanness or the concept of alienation depicted by the stories on monsters and aliens in the Western literature. By studying the image of ghosts and monsters in different cultures, we could achieve better understanding of the underlying philosophy and worldview. Viewed from the perspective of cross-cultural educators, the above example presents great potential for reciprocal learning between cultures. The cultural imagination on monsters actually can serve as a window to peep into the deep-rooted psychology of a culture and provide students with an ideal opportunity for digging into the cultural phenomenon. Educators need to develop the sensitivity to such topics which can generate fruitful discussions in multicultural environment.

5.2

Extra Chinese Homework

In the literature on immigrant parents’ involvement in their children’s education, many researchers have pointed out that Asian immigrant parents (including Chinese) are more likely to make use of resources to better the chances of their children’s education. They will accompany their children when they are doing their homework, give them extra assignments, and hire tutors for them (Kao, 1995; Lee & Zhou, 2015; Schneider & Lee, 1990). In her research of Chinese immigrant parents’ role in their children’s education, Louie (2001) pointed out that most of the parents in her study regarded doing well in school as the only avenue toward success for their children. Lee and Zhou (2015) mentioned that Asian immigrant parents “strive to place their children in the most competitive schools and also insist that they be placed in the most competitive academic tracks, classes, and programs” (p. 71). Kelly and Tseng (1992) pointed out that Chinese parents are like teachers to their children and

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they take complete responsibility for their children’s development. Besides the Chinese cultural disposition that honors education and educators, there is another factor that plays a significant role in determining Chinese immigrant parents’ involvement and investment in their children’s education, which is the new social status as an ethnic minority in another country. Hua, Ying, and Yun all referred to the discrimination that they encountered in the job market. Firstly, their credentials in mainland China were not recognized and Ying said that she had no choice but to take courses in a Canadian school although she already had a bachelor’s degree in the same field. Consequently, the parents were strongly motivated to closely monitor their children’s school performance. In my fieldwork as a research assistant, I have noticed that Chinese teachers show great interest in the homework Canadian students have after school. One of the Canadian principals responded to the question raised by Chinese teachers regarding homework in the following manner. Elementary students were encouraged to read books instead of doing homework. Activities involving learning with parents were considered very important in after-school times. Interestingly, elementary homework is optional. However, in high school, things could be very different. Students were expected to do more homework. This is quite different from the common practice in China. Homework is compulsory, and besides school homework, parents are encouraged to give students extra assignments. To compensate for the scarcity of drill exercises in local school, both Hua and Yun gave their children extra homework, while Meiping enrolled Mike in a training school for English and math. In other words, despite their applause of the relaxing learning atmosphere in Canadian schools, the mothers are still governed by the competitive mind-set in Chinese culture. In the Sister School project, the Canadian teachers who paid visit to Chinese schools got some first-hand experience about the Chinese educational system, and the fierce competition facing students, “You have to be like top 5 percent or 1 percent to go to Peking University, it all depends on a final exam.” It well explains the high anxiety parents hold toward academic marks. One principal from a Toronto school with a high population of Chinese immigrant students talked about the high expectation of Chinese immigrant parents on their children’s academic performance. She once showed a Chinese student’s dad around the school hall, and the student’s name appeared on the honor roll. The father asked about the percentage of students who won such honors. “Well, an Honor student has an 80 percent average, a (school name) scholar has

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an 85 average or more. He was quite disappointed because so many students had achieved Scholar status. And that to him was a disappointment because it was really only important if there were a few.” For the school administrators, it is hard to understand that students who get an 80% average will be punished by their parents. In their eyes, such students are “high achievers.” Another interesting phenomenon at this school is how Chinese students view their own achievement. The EQAO math result is 97% at the school, but when the school administrators did a survey on students, only about 50% of the students felt that they were good at math. From the principal’s perspective, “the parents are transferring the values to their children.” The children set higher bars for excellence, while for the school, raising the bar means “have all students to achieve the best of their ability. And the value isn’t being the top in the school.” The attitude these children pick up from their parents would be “to excel beyond what everyone else is excelling at.” For them, the most important parameter for measuring excellence would be test scores. Ball’s (2019) interview with a Chinese American senior also touched upon such a phenomenon. The student recalled his summer vacation experience in his childhood in the following words, “My summer vacations back in elementary school weren’t really much of a vacation… [M]y parents bought all these books … kinda like that SAT prep book, but it’s like for stuff you would learn in elementary school … that would be like two or three hours of my day … [I]n the afternoon my friends would ring the doorbell like ‘Hey, do you wanna come out and play?’ I’m like ‘I can’t, I gotta do this thing today,’ and it’s like oh my God …” (p. 123). From my observation and conversations with the mothers and the children, extra homework is one of the major sources of conflict between the two generations. Mary talked about the math homework her parents gave her, It didn’t really help me. Well, I guess they gave me the higher level books. Well, they gave me higher level books before when I, like Grade 3 in Grade 1. Well, something like that, higher level than yours right now. Later on, I guess it helps.

Meiping had mixed feelings toward assigning extra homework to Mike, When we were in mainland China, it’s like, when we did math exercises, after what we did in class, there would be tons of books and exercises,

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several hundred exercises were waiting for us to do after school. But when we are here, I don’t know where to buy such books. I don’t know. So sometimes I am really worried but can’t do anything. Sometimes when the extra homework is too much, he will say, I already understand it, I don’t need to do more exercises.

For the mothers, the extra homework provides some comfort. By recreating some of their own school experiences in China, they find some ways to get involved in their children’s education. The mothers all agreed that they felt inadequate in helping their children with their study in subjects that requires high English language skills, such as English, history, geography, and civics. Ying is the only parent in my research who does not think that the school content in the local school is too easy. She went through her son’s textbooks and compares them with his Chinese ones. In China, his books are very simple, but there are lots of exercises. While the books here have much richer contents. It’s in great details. The textbooks are very well written. For a person without any foundation, if he/she can teach himself/herself, he/she can find whatever he/she needs to know in the textbook. I read their math textbook, and I think that his math textbook is on the same level as what we have learned in the first year of university. That data management, I think, is an introduction to statistics that we learned as university freshmen. I think many of its contents appear to be simple, but in fact it is not.

She thinks that the key to academic success does not so much lie in the school contents as in the students’ devotion to study. As a result, she is not keen to give her son extra Chinese homework. But then a new problem arises, she finds that even though she is familiar with her son’s math textbook, she still does not know how to help him with his study, “In China, the teachers teach by the textbook. I know exactly which unit they are working on, and can check on his performance. Also, [in Canada] when I explain to him a math problem, he would say, that’s not how my teacher taught us. The final result is the same, but they have different problem-solving patterns from what I have learned in China.” Within the Chinese community, there are many stereotypical concepts about Chinese and Canadian school systems. Chinese and Canadian school systems seem to be on two ends of the spectrum, which is partly the reason why so many Chinese parents are attracted by Canadian

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school system, and regard it as a sound choice for their children’s education. But when I had further conversations with the mothers on this issue, their impressions of Canadian school tend to be general and vague, which are characterized by such statements as: The students in Canada, especially in kindergarten and elementary school enjoy great freedom, and they are more creative. The children are happier. The students are independent and mature in their social skills. The education fees are much cheaper. In contrast, the schools in China provide an oppressive environment for the students. The students are lacking creativity. The parents have to invest much time and energy in their children’s study, so that the children won’t lag behind. The workload is too heavy, and the students have to spend much time learning some knowledge that they will never use in their future career. Childhood spent in China will be unhappy. The new immigration wave from China in recent years also confirmed the concerns of the new elites in China over the Chinese education system. They view Canadian schools as a rescuing force that will save their children from monotonous drill training (Xiao, 2012). In December 2010, Chinese students made international headlines when Shanghai high school children outscored their counterparts on PISA, an international standardized test. ABC news interviewed six education experts to comment on this phenomenon. Most of the educators brushed this result aside as being insignificant. Yasheng Huang, a professor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology said that the entire Chinese education system is geared toward that one goal—taking [a] test (gaokao). That would be the equivalent of American students spending four or five years preparing for the GRE or SAT. Huang said, “In terms of imaginative talking, coming up with good ideas, taking risks, those are actually very weak.” Among all these criticizing voices of Chinese education, Shijing Xu, an education professor with the University of Windsor studying the sister school exchanges between China and Canada, expressed different opinions. She said that Chinese students got a better foundation in all subject areas at a young age. Specialized subject teachers—one for math, one for science, one for language, and so on—are present from the very beginning in Chinese schools. In the US, most public schools have one teacher that teaches all subjects until grades three or four (Pham, 2010). In our efforts to embrace new educational practice and ideas, we sometimes lose sight of the strengths of Chinese educational practice, which has withstood the trial of time. Cross-cultural learning can never be a one-way endeavor. Conscious or unconscious comparison will

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be inevitable, which in turn heightens one’s sensitivity to the distinctive features of the respective practice. My learning curve as regards to Chinese and Canadian school education may provide some clue in understanding the Chinese parents’ attitude toward Canadian school education. First of all, the differences between the two systems are so distinct that one who has grown up within one system, can never fail to pick up these glaring signs. All the mothers have noticed that in Canada, the use of the textbooks was different from Chinese school. In Chinese schools, teachers teach according to the textbooks. There will be a working schedule for the entire grade, and all the teachers teaching the same subject were supposed to work on the same content of the textbook. For example, Mike’s class was studying Romeo and Juliet for the English course, which was a “ridiculous play” in his words, whose “twist of plot does not make sense at all.” His class worked on this play over the period of a few weeks. It’s hard to imagine a language teacher in China working on one play over an extended period of time, for in Chinese schools, the time was allocated evenly to each article in the textbook and the teacher cannot dwell on one piece of work even if they felt that the students could not appreciate the work in such a truncated way. The appreciation of the ideas and language of a literary work was replaced by class activities designed for the preparation of such test items as the paraphrasing of some expressions, the comparison of the usage of synonyms, and the generalization of the main theme. Students are expected to become very familiar with the contents of the textbook. For such subjects as English and Chinese language, history, geography, and political science, students are asked to memorize some of the contents word by word. My niece is a junior high school student. I was surprised by the random and miscellaneous facts she needed to memorize to excel in tests. With my experience in Chinese schools both as a student and a teacher, I agree with the parents in their observation of the different roles that textbooks play in Canadian and Chinese schools. I teach English language courses at a prestigious university known for her first-class foreign language programs. At university level, textbooks still serve as the pivotal point of the teaching practice. As a teacher, I could choose materials from sources other than the textbook, but I still need to cover certain content in the textbook within a given period of time. The whole grade will sit in the final test, which draws its materials heavily from the textbook. We also adopt formative assessment, but the final test still takes up the biggest chunk of

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the score. Zhao (2009) has pointed out the limitation in such practice, “Using the same textbooks for all students leaves little room for exploring individual interests and accommodating different learning styles” (p. 95). It’s understandable that for someone who was used to learning by the textbook, the lack of a textbook, or the casual use of textbook, may cause some anxiety and uncertainty. In China, the textbook has become a materialized symbol of the knowledge a student has acquired. It is tangible, and the parents can measure their children’s performance by referring to the textbook. No wonder when Hua and Meiping tried to help their children with their study, they would resort to the textbooks they brought from China. In China, a parent can easily keep apace with their children’s schoolwork by following their textbook. Both Meiping and Yun complained that they could not pin down what their children were working on for a certain course if the children chose not to tell them. One reason is the language barrier, and the other reason is that “the teachers do not follow the textbook.” They found that the textbook was also different from what they were used to. Yun said, As for her study, I don’t know what her school teaches her. It seems that right now they are teaching them how to write. But the instruction is quite general. I took a look at her book. It taught her how to write a certain type of article.

I want to use an example to illustrate the difference in Canadian and Chinese educational philosophy. For her English language class, Hua’s daughter was asked to bring an illustrated book and share the story with her classmates. She chose a story entitled Weighing the Elephant (which was written by Ting-xing Ye and illustrated by Suzane Langlois) adapted from a Chinese traditional story. Both Hua and I had the same reaction, that’s adapted from a story in our textbook when we were in Grade 1. Also, we both agreed that this story in fact shows different educational philosophy and practice, and I think it will provide a good example for the topic under discussion. The title of the story that Hua and I learned in Grade 1 is also Weighing the Elephant. Contemporary China has a highly centralized educational system and under the rule of Ministry of Education, most schools at the same level adopt the same textbooks. There are only a few exceptions in some highly developed metropolitan centers, where the municipal education commission enjoys the leeway of choosing their own textbooks. Generally speaking, teachers are left with little

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space as to the teaching materials they work with. I searched online for Grade 1 textbook for Chinese language lessons (it’s called Yu Wen in Chinese) and found that Weighing the Elephant is still included (Yu Wen, 2017, pp. 88–90). Against this backdrop, it seems only natural that I feel strong ownership to the story. It’s part of my childhood memory and I am amazed how the story stayed in my mind although I never revisited it over all these years. To better understand the writer’s point of view, we need to have some knowledge about her background. Ye was born in Shanghai in 1952. When she was 16, she was sent to a prison farm where she spent six years. Later, she majored in English literature in Peking University, the most prestigious university in China. Upon graduation, she worked as an interpreter for the Chinese government for several years. Ye came to Canada in 1987 and when she published this picture book in 1998, she had lived in Canada for a decade (http://www.orillia.org/williambell/page2/page5/ tingxingye.html). For a Chinese Canadian writer who received her education in China and went through the atrocity and hardships of the Cultural Revolution, when she started writing in English by revisiting her own cultural memories and experiences in China, I believe this would be a process of rediscovery and reappraisal. The story in the picture book runs like this: It took place “long ago, in the green mountain of China” (Ye, 1998). The protagonist Hei-dou (which means black bean in Chinese) lived in a village. In the village a family of elephants helped the farmers with their work. The baby elephant Huan-huan (which means cheerful in Chinese) enjoyed playing with the village school children and at the end of a school day, he “fanned his ears and danced, with all the children singing and swirling around him” (Ye, 1998). Later the cruel emperor heard of the baby elephant and ordered that he be sent to the imperial court. Frightened, the baby elephant could barely move, let alone play tricks to entertain the royal family. The infuriated emperor decreed that the baby elephant “be heavily chained and sent far, far away” unless someone could tell how heavy the elephant is (Ye, 1998). Everybody knew that this was a trick by the emperor, and the villagers sent for revered scholars to solve the riddle, but all in vain. Hei-dou was terribly upset and when he gazed sadly at his father’s fishing boat on the lake, an idea got into his mind. First, he guided the baby elephant onto the boat and marked the level of water along the side of the boat, then, leading away the elephant, he asked the villagers to carry rice bags onto the boat until the mark was level with the water again. This

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way they finally got the correct weight of the elephant by adding up the weights of all the rice bags. Thus Huan-huan was saved. The friendship between Hei-dou and Huan-huan is the central theme of the story and it is reaffirmed by the frontispiece which depicts Hei-dou embracing Huanhuan. The driving force for Hei-dou to solve this riddle is his love for the baby elephant. The Chinese version that Hua and I had learned is told from a different angle: Cao Cao (the prime minister in Wei, who was the actual ruler of the kingdom) received an elephant as a diplomatic gift from the emperor of Kingdom Wu in the south (around 200 A.D., China split up into three major kingdoms). Cao Cao asked his entourage of officials and generals for a way to weigh the elephant. Even the most knowledgeable and venerable scholar failed in this task. Some suggested making a giant weighing scale with a tree, while others suggested cutting the elephant into pieces. Seven-year-old Cao Chong, the son of Cao Cao, came up with a solution, which is basically the same as in Hei-dou’s idea and the only difference is that the soldiers put stones instead of rice bags onto the boat. Juxtaposing the Chinese version with the rewriting by Ye, it becomes clear that in rewriting Ye developed many motifs that are blind spots in the original one. The Chinese version is obviously a story about a prodigy and it centers on the ingenious way of problem-solving. The elephant could be at best described as a prop for pulling off the magic. There is no interaction between Cao Chong and the elephant. There is even the suggestion from one of the officials that the elephant should be cut into pieces. The elephant was treated as a piece of disposable object, which has no value of its own. There is a shift in class relations in the stories too. The genius Cao Chong who is crowned with the glory of intellectual superiority was replaced in Ye’s version by a country boy. In the Chinese version, the problem-solving process highly amused and entertained the prime minister who took great pride in the talent of his young son. While in Ye’s version, the imperial court became the source of oppression. Ye also added some credible details as to how Hei-dou came up with the final solution. He sat at the lake, staring at his father’s fishing boat. We may well imagine that he already had some experience with buoyancy as a fisherman’s son. After comparing the two versions carefully, I was impressed by the new touches Ye had added to the story and I believe that the way she chose to tell the story cannot be simply dismissed as an attempt to appeal to Western readers. With my newly aroused curiosity, I dug deeper into the

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origin of the story. It turned out that the text I had learned in Grade 1 was adapted from a story recorded in The Chronicles of the Three Kingdoms (Luo, 1953). The storyline is similar except that the original was written in old-style Chinese (the ancient form of Chinese language, whose vocabulary and grammar are different from the modern Chinese language). Then I came across an article entitled “Buddhist Allusions in the Stories about Cao Chong and Hua Tuo in the Chronicles of the Three Kingdoms ” by a well-known historian Chen Yinke (Chen, 1980, pp. 157–158), in which he challenged the authenticity of the story by citing historical evidence. When Cao Chong was five or six years old, that is, when he performed this intellectual feat as described in the Chinese version of the story, the emperor who sent the elephant as a gift hadn’t come into power yet. It just couldn’t have happened! Such a well-known Chinese story was in fact a fabrication by the scholar to pay homage to a royal member. Chen didn’t stop here, but tried to find out the origin of this story, since an elephant was such an exotic creature for China at that time. As a scholar who mastered Sanskrit, he was familiar with Buddhist scriptures, where he found a similar story. The core of the story is also how to weigh an elephant. During the time when the Chronicles of the Three Kingdoms was written, this Buddhist story had already been translated into Chinese. The author might have learned this story and adapted it for his own purpose. My initial strong feeling of ownership toward the story was shaken and I started to appreciate the complex evolution process of culture and how it is intertwined with politics and economy and can never claim an existence on its own. This story has been well circulated in Chinese culture and in fact, in the Chinese history of physics, many scientists cited this story as evidence that Chinese people have known about the principle of buoyancy for 1800 years. I want to use the story to highlight some features of the Chinese education system. As I have mentioned above, Weighing the Elephant is still part of the Chinese language textbook. I found many curriculum resource websites which contain lesson plans for this story, and the theme emphasized by the teachers is invariably the cleverness of the boy. Students are supposed to take Cao Chong as a role model and learn from his problemsolving skills. This reminds me of many of the children’s books I read when I was young. There is a series of stories about celebrated scientists and artists in Chinese history. Such books are called lianhuanhua in Chinese and their formats are quite similar to comic strips. The illustrations of the books are done by great contemporary Chinese artists and they

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worked painstakingly to make a historically accurate presentation of the characters. In such realistic portrayal, there is no catering to the taste of children. Apart from the artistic realism, such stories always emphasize how hard-working these characters were, starting from a very early age. Reverence for knowledge and esteem for high wit can be found in Chinese educational tradition. I once heard such a remark from one of my friends in Toronto, who immigrated to Canada two years ago from China. She said that she was relieved that her son had already had five years’ schooling back in China, for this way he took learning more seriously. In other words, she questioned the local children’s attitude toward learning. As I have mentioned before, the mothers in my study also expressed concern over the relaxed attitude toward study in the local school and gave their children extra homework. Viewed within this tradition, Weighing the Elephant reflects an educational ideal that lays great emphasis on intellectual superiority and academic success. In this sense, when Ye drew upon Chinese folklore for her literary creation, she might be engaged in critical reflection on her own cultural heritage. She also had to take into consideration how her story would translate into Canadian educational values. The mothers are constantly comparing and negotiating the education system in both countries, but this is a tricky situation. As Zhao (2009) has pointed out, “The quality of a person is difficult to describe in specific terms, but generally it is the total package of knowledge, ability, attitudes, perspectives, moral values, and ethical standards” (p. 72). These things can hardly be quantified, and how can one say that one education system is better than another one because it produces students with better quality. Ying said, The teachers here do not require the students to do all the exercises in the textbook, and they will not check if you have done them. It’s up to you whether you do the exercises or not. But in China, the teachers will assign 20 or 40 exercise items for you, and you must finish them. If you cannot hand in the homework the next day, you will be punished by standing in front of the classroom.

She felt that such a relaxed attitude by Canadian teachers might be detrimental to those children who did not have strong self-control and strong interest in study itself. Since there is no penalty for not doing the

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homework, they would simply choose not to do it. If pushed, they have the potential of mastering those skills. A Macleans article entitled “The enrolment controversy: Worries that efforts in the US to limit enrolment of Asian students in top universities may migrate to Canada” has caused controversy among the Chinese community (Findlay & Kohler, 2010). From the tone of the article, we can tell that there are some stereotypical beliefs about Chinese schools and students. In the article, a second-year college student who “looks like a girl from an Aritzia billboard” commented, “The only people from our school who went to U of T were Asian. All the white kids go to Queen’s, Western and McGill.” The interviewees in the article called some universities in Canada “too Asian,” with University of Toronto as one of them. According to the article, “an ‘Asian’ school has come to mean one that is so academically focused that some students feel they can no longer compete or have fun.” Asian students seem to be more driven in their academic pursuit, while white students are more likely to “choose universities and build their school lives around social interaction, athletics and self-actualization—and, yes, alcohol.” The article raised controversy and there has been heated discussion over the Internet as to the potential racism that might underlie this phenomenon. What interests me the most in the article is a phenomenon pointed out by a recently retired Ottawa-area guidance counselor. She commented on the lack of social skills among Asian students, “The kids were getting 98 per cent but they didn’t have other skills. Their parents would come in and write in the resumé letters that they were in clubs. But the kids weren’t able to do anything in those clubs because they were academically focused.” This issue has always been one of the foci in my research. Naturally, it came up in my conversations with my research participants. The mothers’ attitude on this issue is quite similar. Hua was more vocal in her opinion, I admit that if the kids did some part-time job in the restaurant, they would learn some useful lessons. But I don’t see that as absolutely necessary. If such work would affect their study, I think that is not worth it. For each stage in life there is priority. For students, their priority is study.

Ying said that when the children started working as a member of the society, they would pick up the social skills. Yun was worried that Mary

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spent too much time on extracurricular activities, “She joined the Cadets, studied Japanese, and did volunteer work at the organization for immigrants. She also went to her middle school and help the teachers there. I told her that her priority should be study.” For me, such comments ring a bell and bring me back to my school days. “As students, your priority is study” is a sentence repeated by many of my teachers, and the school officials whenever a “problem” arises. Anxiety and stress unrelated to one’s study would be dismissed as fooling around. To use this slogan as an elixir for the angst experienced by an adolescent does not seem to be an effective solution. A student who seems to “deviate” from the course steered by teachers would be regarded as an “odd” one, and good students are supposed to distance themselves from such bad influence. Upon graduation from high school, standing on the campus, a classmate of mine, a girl of mild manners, said to me, “I will never come back to this place. Never, ever!” Oddly, I was not surprised by her remark at all. Three years of senior high school life, where feelings are supposed to lie dormant, and quests for knowledge beyond the boundary of the textbooks are dismissed as a waste of time, will no doubt leave students the impression of being imprisoned. I remembered several years ago, when a Canadian friend asked me to talk about my high school life, I had used such strong words to describe it as the following, “It’s miserable. I don’t really want to talk about it.” From the above description, we may see that Chinese immigrant parents try to gain a better understanding of the local schools by quantifying their children’s learning experience by the hours spent on study, and the content of the textbook covered in the courses. There is still a long way to go before they can penetrate the facade and get around to the educational philosophy underpinning the practice.

5.3

Chinese Math vs. Canadian Math

When talking about the math exercises that she gave her daughter, Hua used the term Chinese math. I asked her why she would say Chinese math. Doesn’t math have a universal language that transcends different cultures? Hua replied in the following words, Their math is absolutely different from ours. The way of thinking is different. Their math emphasizes that, er, analyzing and solving problems. Ours lays more emphasis on that, er, the basic skills are better. For instance, in

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grade 3 they tried negative numbers. Suppose I deposited 10 dollars into the bank, then I withdrew 5 dollars, then another 5 dollars, then another 5 dollars. Now I had nothing left, what’s more, I owe the bank 5 dollars. So to speak, they connect math with practical matters. Another example, when they teach addition or multiplication, they would ask the students to calculate how to spend 5 dollars. It’s more like this, while our Chinese math is more about abstract concepts and computational skills.

Hua was also impressed by the fact that her daughter was already learning about shapes in math, “I think the introduction of shapes at an early age is very important. In China, we did shape analysis in high school.” Hua mentioned one strength of Chinese math, “I think Chinese math was very good brain training. In the end, what matters is not the formulas or patterns in math, but a repertoire of different approaches in facing a certain math problem. It’s like, how do you solve this math problem, will another way be better?” Gu (2010) in a report comparing mathematics education of China and US called the US math curriculum as “a mile wide and an inch deep” (p. 23). Gu listed some characteristics of Chinese math curriculum, The Chinese math textbooks had 90% new contents… From the 7th grade and 8th grade Chinese mathematics books, the content areas were continued from previous grade. Each concept built upon the next. Students were encouraged to move on. Chinese math concepts were taught to mastery. What had been taught was never re-taught and only revisited later. (p. 3)

The participants in my research all expressed concern over the content of math. Yun said that she found that some mathematical concepts were re-taught at different grades, but each time it was slightly touched and then let go. Her daughter still hadn’t mastered some of these concepts. That’s where she and her husband wanted to give her extra homework, so that she could master the concepts. Yun said, “She is already in high school, but she still has difficulty converting percentage to fractions, and fractions to percentage.” As the research assistant with the Sister School project, I once had a conversation about mathematics with the math teacher, Mr. Ling in the Beijing delegation. Mr. Ling asked me the question, “In your mind, what is math?” I said, “Logic (luoji).” Mr. Ling smiled, “you see. There is the difference. Your understanding of math was acquired in the context of a Chinese school. You got that idea from your math teacher.” Then

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he continued to share with me about his observation on math in Canadian and American schools by studying their textbooks and test papers: “For them (referring to Canadian and American schools), math is a concept (gainian); it’s a way of thinking. They spend a lot of time on this, while we emphasize techniques and skills, which are important too.” In his mind, “the middle way” will be the ideal approach to teach and learn about math. Of course, this conversation was carried out in Mandarin. I immediately saw the point that Mr. Ling tried to drive home, and was struck by the wisdom contained in his remark. However, when I try to translate this dialogue into English, I find that I am struggling for the proper expression that can convey to the English readers the original meaning. I cannot find the equivalent for some Chinese terms in English. For example, both the words luoji and gainian in this context have some connotations that cannot be captured by logic and concept. The following argument from the literature may help clarify Mr. Ling’s opinion. As a tradition, Chinese math teachers believe in the training of abstract mental ability, which many math teachers summarize as logical thinking. Compared with American students, Chinese students like to use symbols in their solution of math problems. The teaching content focuses heavily on solving problems with mathematical symbols. With Chinese and American math courses, the curriculum objectives also differ greatly from one another (Wang, 2013, p. 12). The Beijing teachers showed great interest in Chinese immigrant students’ academic performance against their new peers in Canada or the States. One Canadian teacher said that “in math they are very strong with number facts, you know, adding and subtracting, but not strong in the other strands because now we teach more than add, subtract, multiply, and divide. We do patterning, we do geometry.” Mr. Ling responded to this observation by saying that in Chinese schools, there was also a shift of focus in teaching math. I guess such changes were made in the efforts to achieve the golden middle way that would combine the strengths of different approaches to math. Another episode in the Sister School project also highlights the different rationale behind math teaching practice. During a school visit by the Beijing delegation, one Chinese teacher observed a lesson on science. In this class period, the Canadian teacher was asking three students to work on the same problem in front of the class. The question is as follows: 2X = Y + 20 ➀ X =Y −2 ➁ The first two steps of the first student’s solution are as follows:

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X =Y −8 ➂ SUB ➂→➀ Later, the teacher from Beijing shared with me, “the first student included such a step in his solution: SUB ➂→➀. I don’t think that’s necessary. We won’t write down this step since it’s so obvious.” One of the students thus responded, “Our teacher said that the solutions are very important. When we worked on a math problem, our step-by-step solution should be so detailed and clear that a person without any mathematical knowledge could understand it.” From this episode, one can learn that teachers’ philosophical belief about math would directly influence their teaching practice. From my own experience in Toronto classrooms, I also felt that there was difference between the math education in the two systems. And when I observed different lessons, I noticed that in social arts classes, I basically followed the train of thoughts in English, while for math and science lessons, I would try to solve the problem in Chinese in my mind, and more often than not, I found my problem-solving pattern and procedure was different from what the teacher was discussing at that time. Zhao (2007) studied the heritage culture’s influence with a group of Chinese scientists and mathematicians who had lived in the US for 8–25 years. The participants argued that the holistic approach to the world in Chinese culture “actually helped them with a broader understanding of the world. They rejected the simplistic and ethnocentric assumption that an analytic approach is scientific and is the way to conduct math and science, and that a holistic approach is non-scientific and may encumber scientific pursuit” (p. 479). And these Chinese scientists and mathematicians believed that “their cultural heritage has provided them with a deep appreciation of artistic aspects of the world and an intuitive approach to it and that such an approach is part of their cultural advantage in studying science” (p. 480). One Chinese mathematician reflected upon the paradoxical feature of the holistic approach in Chinese culture, Mo Tzu [a contemporary of Confucius] developed a big theory called the debate of theoretic logical reasoning. His whole book developed many concrete examples, using one logically developed after another one, but not with a systematic structure. All those parts are actually the infancy of mathematical reasoning. It’s very important in the mathematical foundation. But after that, no Chinese person ever further developed it into such a science. They just have all these examples, all the ways to explain, but

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they cannot collect them into a proposition, theory, hypothesis like the Greeks gave us. (p. 481)

The contrast between the two kinds of math makes the parents want their children to have the best of both approaches. Hua said that the ideal scenario would be the combination of the emphasis on basic computational skills, abstract concepts, and the ability to solve practical problems. In the Sister School project, I accompanied several Chinese teachers in their visit of a local school. The teachers entered into a Grade 1 classroom. At that time, the students were doing patterns. One of the kids first put down one green cereal ring, then he put two rings of different colors after it, then he put down a green one again, and so on, and so forth. After he was done, the boy put the cereal rings in his mouth. And the teacher came over with the box to give him some more. This is a quite entertaining moment for the delegation, and all the teachers laughed. But the math teacher later observed, “Well, I admit that this is fun. But it takes a lot of time. How about the efficiency factor?” This marks another difference in the teaching philosophy, that is, what is deemed as effective teaching and learning. Recently, one attempt from the British government is another example of reciprocal learning between cultures. In this government-supported initiative, primary schools in Great Britain are given the option to adopt translated math textbooks of Shanghai primary schools. Some experts believe that the “mastery” model in Chinese math teaching ensures that most students have acquired the concept under discussion by applying the knowledge to various situations. Then the teacher moves to the next step. With the solid foundation laid down along the way, students may feel confident and comfortable when they are faced with the next challenge. According to Ni Ming, an editor at East China Normal University Press, the Chinese publisher of the math textbooks, the translation of the textbook brings to light some of the cultural differences. “One exercise asks first graders to pair objects, like a shirt and shorts, for example, or a flower and a vase.” One such pair is bird and cage. In their English translation, the cage is replaced by a tree. Apparently, different cultures have different association for different items. “All this time, Asians have been learning from the Western education system,” said Yong Zhao, a professor of education at University of Kansas. “Suddenly, it’s the reverse” (Qin, 2017).

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I have similar feelings when I observed some science lessons. I participated as the graduate assistant in the SSHRC-funded project entitled “Integrating Science, Mathematics, and Technology in the Intermediate and Middle School Grades: Teaching and Learning Processes.” One teaching unit has percentage as the central mathematical skill that will be employed in carrying out the integrated project that encompassed such subjects as language arts, science, and math. Before our research team entered the field, the teachers already taught the concept of percentage to the students. The students needed to employ the knowledge when they tried to make a model hockey rink to scale. Another graduate assistant and I noticed in the class activity that most of the students were struggling with this concept, and they had difficulty applying the knowledge point in solving the problem at hand. The graduate assistant noted that the students had no conceptual understanding of what multiplication was or how to relate it to decimals or percentage. In fact, the teacher had to change her lesson plan and spent more time explaining the concept of percentage and having students do more practice. This shows clearly that the vague understanding of mathematical concepts hinders students in their efforts of solving certain real-life problems. If one’s endeavor at math problems keeps being thwarted in such a way, the students will identify themselves as incompetent or incapable of doing math well, and be easily intimidated by projects that involve the use of some basic mathematical skills.

5.4

Moral Education

Moral education is an integral part of school and family education, and because of the difference in ideology, this is also an area that poses great challenge for Chinese immigrant parents whose beliefs and moral behavioral code were forged in China. When carrying out the current research, I couldn’t help asking myself the following question: How does a Canadian school carry on with their moral education? And I realized that I knew nothing about it, and when I addressed the same question to the mothers in my research, their answers were the same as mine, “I have no idea.” Besides civic lessons, a lot of moral education takes place in school settings as part of the hidden curriculum. The hidden curriculum refers to “the norms and values that are implicitly, but effectively taught in schools and that are not usually talked about in teachers’ statements of end or

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goals” (Apple, 1990, p. 84). The hidden curriculum is as rich as the official curriculum. If the norms and values differ from what the immigrant children have gained from their family life, tension ensues. Parents in mainland China know what kind of moral teachings their children were receiving, and they could make efforts either to strengthen or undermine those disciplines and teachings by providing their children with their street-smart arguments and observations. But immigrant parents in my study were lost as to what kind of values their children were taught as far as moral education and civic education are concerned, and under such circumstances, it was hard for the mothers and children to have a dialogue over some basic beliefs and principles in life. Yun said, “Sometimes I talked in length over an issue. Then she might hear some other views on the same matter from school, and would challenge me. Even I became confused.” For the children, another source of the North American culture was TV. From my observation, the mothers in my research did not watch the hit shows or cartoons on TV because the language was hard to understand and they did not have much leisure time. All the children that I talked with liked to watch The Simpsons, Family Guy, and South Park, three very popular American cartoon series. I have watched them and liked the satire in them. But in my opinion, some of the contents were very controversial and the language could be offensive. I was left wondering if it was acceptable to expose a ten-year-old to such contents, without any parental guidance. The children in these families liked to watch the hit shows, but their parents never joined them in watching these shows. Meiping said that she encouraged Mike to watch TV, since it would help improve his English. And cartoons were for children, so how could it be harmful in any way? The other mothers held similar opinion. This formed an interesting contrast with the parents in China. One case that gained great publicity centered on a popular children’s cartoon on Chinese Central Television entitled Red Cat and Blue Rabbit (He & Wang, 2006). It tells the story of a cat and a rabbit, who fight against the evil forces and become Kung Fu masters in the process. It emphasizes such themes as bravery, friendship, and perseverance. It became an instant hit with the children. But soon there was strong protest from the parents who thought that the cartoon contained too much violence and blood. I took a look at it. It paled against the mock Itchy and Scratchy series depicted in the Simpsons. Under pressure from the parents, the TV station stopped broadcasting the above-mentioned cartoon

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series. I don’t agree with the over-protective attitude shown by parents in China, but I do feel that immigrant Chinese parents’ relaxed attitude toward the TV programs their children watched was not an informed decision. They did not interfere because they could not understand the content, not because they approved of it. Yun said that Mary told her that all her classmates watched these shows. If she did not, she would have no common topics to talk about with them. As a result, Yun gave in and let Mary watch the shows that she chose. But she would set a time limit on how much time she could spend watching TV. Yun exchanged ideas on this issue with her Chinese immigrant friends and found that this was the standard practice in many households. Usually differences in opinions between parents and children would not be tested if no events in daily life triggered off direct confrontation between the two value systems. But sometimes a controversial event would highlight the gap in beliefs. According to a report from The National Post, some controversy arose between Burnaby parents and the school board over a policy drafted by the school board. The policy was drafted to support students and staff who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, transsexual, two-spirited or questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity (LGBTQ). The policy encouraged teachers to insert LGBTQ topics into the curriculum, instituted a zero-tolerance approach to anti-gay language, identified a specific contact for LGBTQ students in elementary and secondary schools, and encouraged gay-straight alliance clubs in secondary schools and diversity clubs for Grades 4–7. In April 2011, about 100 parents packed a Burnaby board of education meeting to protest against the policy. It was noted in the report that most of the parents were of Asian descent. A Chinese parent Heather Leung said, “This policy places far too much importance and emphasis on an issue that impacts a few. What is being recommended in this draft is a deliberate and systemic strategy to indoctrinate our children with a controversial moral teaching that should be left for families to decide on and wrestle through.” On behalf of the parents, Leung demanded that the policy and public hearing minutes be translated into different languages, that the district hold a public hearing with translators, and that Burnaby parents be allowed to vote on the policy. A poster announcing the rally against the policy suggests “a section of the policy amounts to bullying of children from families with traditional views about family, marriage and sex” (Steffenhagen, 2011).

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The reason that I cited the above event was to demonstrate one of the sensitive spots around which there might be much controversy and miscommunication between schools and the Chinese community. In Chinese society, LGBTQ issues are kept quiet, and the protection of the rights of this group of people is not part of the official language. Before I came to Canada, I never met one single person who was openly gay in real life. My knowledge of LGBTQ people came from literature and movies. It feels like a brave new world when I learned that there were professors and students who were openly gay at OISE. From my own lived experience, I know that many Chinese parents have little knowledge or understanding of LGBTQ phenomena and would rather leave them untouched. The mothers felt the difference between the school in China and the local school in their treatment of some sensitive issues, especially issues that involve social equity. Yun mentioned the following exchange of words between her daughter and son, The other day, I asked Dave. I said when you grew up, what kind of wife do you want? My son had no idea. And my daughter said, Dave, do you know that women could marry women, and men could marry men? You see, she starts to brainwash him. So I feel that in China many things are swept under the carpet, and here many things are over-discussed.

In one of our conversations, Yun said that she could not imagine how she might react to a situation where her daughter declared herself as lesbian. Such conflict cannot be resolved in one meeting or hearing and there needs to be a learning process for the parents and the schools as well. The schools need to learn more about the home culture of their students’, and the parents need to learn to respect people of different beliefs, religion, and lifestyle. In many cases, fear and mistrust originate from ignorance. For immigrant parents, because of the lack of social support, and social networking, as compared with their previous life in China, many resort to the traditional Chinese values and norms as guidelines for the education of their children. It seems safer than entering uncharted territory. As suggested by the parents in the above example, maybe the schools and the board can try to translate their policies into different languages and have discussions with parents of different ethnic groups. Otherwise, the parents might feel that they are taken by surprise and react in a rather hostile manner. In other words, the parents are not prepared yet to address the issue head-on. They held the wishful thinking that if left unstirred,

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it will never become an issue. This attitude echoes an old Chinese saying, “Ask questions about matters that you know. Don’t ask questions about matters that you don’t know. New knowledge might cause you pain and confusion.” Meiping also mentioned that the different values between school and home sometimes caused tension between Mike and her, “Sometimes when I asked him to do something in a certain way, he would say, ‘My teacher did not teach me that way’. He would argue with me, but it’s not serious. In the end, he would listen to me. I guess it’s because he hasn’t been here for a long time.” From the last sentence, we can tell that Meiping also foresaw more conflicts as Mike became more and more accustomed to his school life. And those conflicts might not be resolved simply by Mike listening to her. This again reveals the mothers’ complex attitude toward the cultural differences. While they are pleased by the diversity of ideas that their children are now exposed to, they are worried that maybe the children know too much for their age to come to a sensible judgment. Beneath some of the seemingly trivial domestic disputes, there lies the fact that the foundations for many of the mothers’ beliefs come from the cultural and social influences in mainland China. Cultural differences need to undergo constant negotiation and renegotiation. The parents need to become border crossers to better understand their children’s school experience. What frustrated the mothers the most is when they lectured their children about their future, the importance of a decent job, and a comfortable home, and on how these cannot be realized unless they work hard on their study, they often get such a response from their children, “Whatever, I don’t care.” Yun said that even her five-year-old son had learned to say this sentence. She did not even know where to begin with the lecture on social responsibility. No matter how persistent the parents were in lecturing their children on the importance of hard work and real efforts, and on how this was all for their own good, they were met with this flat rebuttal, “Whatever, I don’t care.” The mothers asked, “Where does this attitude come from?” The more pressing question is, how can one compete with this attitude? In Chinese education, moral education is greatly emphasized. And the traditional way of carrying out moral education is by repeating the moral principles time and again in the hope that such principles will get engraved in the children’s minds. It may take the form of stories of exemplary virtuous people in history. But when everything the parents say is met with “I don’t care,” the parents were at a real loss as to where to lay the foundation work for mutual understanding. Both

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Hua and Yun said to me, “When they say ‘I don’t care’, what can you do? You cannot beat them. This is not China.” Again the importance of context displays itself. In the native environment, Chinese parents lecture their children on the importance of a university education, and their children also know clearly in their minds that with the fierce competition in Chinese society, if one does not work hard, the possibility of leading a decent life is slim. The children also know clearly how demanding the college entrance exam is, and the slackening of efforts would directly jeopardize one’s chance of getting into a university, which in turn jeopardize one’s future chance of landing on a good job. What’s more, the emphasis on filial piety in Chinese society does not prepare the immigrant mothers for such a disrespectful attitude as “I don’t care.” For the parents, leaving the comfort zone of the parenting practice that they were familiar with, they did not know how to appeal to their children’s emotions and interests. The challenges that these mothers were faced with are quite typical of their generation’s experience. They tried hard to find the way to motivate their children, which obviously needs to appeal to the children instead of the parents. I find this phenomenon is not an isolated case with the immigrant families. This sense of ennui has been the theme of post-modern literature. For example, DeLillo (2016) described in his acclaimed novel White Noise how modern people feel intrigued by catastrophe around the world, “Because we’re suffering from brain fade. We need an occasional catastrophe to break up the incessant bombardment of information” (p. 65). One important Chinese traditional value upheld by the mothers was “being responsible and fulfilling one’s obligations (fu ze ren),” but it is very hard for the parents to find the best way to convey this belief to their children. It is hard to translate the principle into the context of their children’s living experience in school. For the mothers, such principles were indoctrinated into their minds through their parents’ teaching and their school education, and it was the combined product of Chinese traditional values and the mainstream propaganda of the communist ideals, which extols the sacrifice of personal interests for the benefit of the country, and its people. These principles have been ingrained in the parents’ minds in such a way that they take it as a matter-of-fact. If challenged by the children with questions like “Why should I be responsible and fulfil my obligations? Who set the rules about those obligations? Why should I be responsible for myself, our family, and the society?” the mothers were

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at a loss. Their only response was, you have to be responsible because you should. According to a study of a small group of mothers of Chinese immigrant adolescents conducted by Gorman (1998), the mothers were very mindful of what kind of friends their children made. They did not want their children to make “bad friends,” and they “seemed to share the same definition of ‘bad friends’ – youths who did not do well in school, who were from broken homes, who were disrespectful, or who were engaged in negative activities, such as taking drugs.” The mothers made specific rules regarding time spent away from home out of safety concerns, “with half of the mothers asking their children to come home directly from school or a previously approved after school activity, or to call if they were going to be late” (p. 75). It was the same with the mothers in my research. They all expressed concerns about their children becoming involved with “bad friends.” They would encourage their children to make friends with classmates who were good students—good in the sense that they were diligent, respectful, and go home directly after school. From the above definition, one can tell that the standard for good or bad friends is based on the parents’ personal preference. In Gorman’s study, one mother stated clearly to her children, “You are now in America and you have to be aware of which people in your school are good. You have to look at their personality and demeanour. If it’s not good, then don’t have relations with them … If your relations affect your studies, don’t spend too much energy trying to be their friend” (p. 76). But when their children made “good” friends in accordance with their standard, the parents would encourage the development of such friendship. The mothers did not object to their children making friends from other ethnic groups as long as they were “good.” But in fact, as I have mentioned before, their children all prefer to have Chinese friends. The mothers would welcome the opportunity to hold parties for their children and their friends. Meiping and her husband even changed housing so that Mike could bring friends home. Hua also encouraged her daughter to invite friends home for a birthday party. This provides another example for the social networking theory in Chinese culture that values one’s relationship with others more than the individual. Having friends that are academically successful reflects upon your own academic merit. Lives in Canada made the mothers realize that many of the coveted characteristics of Western society come with a price. The mothers all talked about how they wanted their children to have a fun childhood

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instead of being burdened with loads of homework. The way of putting down the difference between Canadian and Chinese schools as fun and no fun oversimplifies the sophisticated ways that the two school systems function, and the different philosophies behind them. The dominant philosophy in Canadian schools is closely linked with the ideals of democracy and emphasizes student-centered education and a respect for individual differences among students; while in Chinese schools, academic excellence is undoubtedly placed in the primary position. As far as civic education is concerned, students in China are indoctrinated in socialist ideology, which lays great emphasis on the individual’s responsibility and dedication to the Party, the government, and the people. Such teachings are in line with the traditional Confucianism which also emphasizes the individual’s responsibilities and absolute loyalty to the emperor and his people. As the guiding force in the two school systems, the different philosophy will define every aspect of the school life, and it is by no means as simple as the distinction between fun and no fun. For the mothers, the day-to-day encounter with the local school culture serves as a catalyst for learning, unlearning, and relearning, which helps accelerate the acculturation process.

5.5

Parental Involvement with School

Constantino, Cui, and Faltis (1995) found in their study that language barrier is the major reason for the lack of communication of recent Chinese immigrants with their children’s school, and another barrier is the difference between their native culture and the host culture. According to Dyson (2001), “In practice, Chinese immigrant parents communicate less frequently with schools, have difficulty understanding the communication, and are less informed about school programs such as multicultural education” (p. 457). The mothers in my study all received school education in China and they were deeply influenced by traditional Chinese educational philosophies. There is a saying in China about the role of educators by a great scholar Han Yu from the Tang dynasty, “The duties of educators are to teach the Way, pass on the knowledge and clear the doubts” (Han, 1980, p. 61). This approach positions the students as the receivers of knowledge without much liberty as to what to learn and how to learn. Such educational beliefs influenced the parents’ view and judgment of their children’s school life in Toronto, while in the meantime these beliefs also underwent changes since new circumstances brought about new challenges.

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According to Dyson’s (2001) research on home-school communication, “the Caucasian parents devoted much more of their communication to the school’s public events and welfare (e.g., sports events, school concerts, and fundraising such as bake sales) or a combination of their children’s academic progress and the school’s public and social events” (p. 464). As a contrast, “most Chinese parents communicated solely about their children’s academic progress to determine what extra academic support to provide at home” (p. 463). The mothers in my study all said that they were not used to the ways of parental involvement in Canada such as volunteering, and fund-raising. First of all, they had a very busy schedule and could hardly find any spare time. Another reason for lack of involvement in such activities was that most of the volunteering work would require certain level of English proficiency, and they did not feel confident enough to participate in such work. “Losing face” in front of the school community would be a great embarrassment for their children. In fact, when the mothers talked about their experiences in China, I could safely come to the conclusion that all four mothers were not afraid to take initiatives for upward mobility in their career. It also required great courage to make the decision to immigrate to another country. When they were in mainland China, they all had a job that safely landed them in the category of middle class. It seemed that the barrier of English language and culture eroded their confidence in their abilities, and in many cases, they assumed a passive attitude. Furthermore, the lack of social network which virtually creates a state of anonymity in their social life aggravates the passivity. Parents are cushioned against the overt peer pressure that is palpable in every detail of social life. I think another important reason for the mothers’ lack of involvement in school activities might be that in Chinese society, volunteering is still a novel idea. For the generations who were born in the 1990s and 2000s, they would be more familiar with such a concept, as with the development of the economy and the accumulation of wealth, fund-raising, and volunteer work gradually became popular and important in social life. When I grew up in China, volunteering was still a political term, which meant that the persons were making sacrifices for the cause of the government and the communist party. It was more of a gesture to show one’s loyalty to the party than real voluntary actions. Ying thus commented on the teacher-parent relation in China, The head teacher of my son’s class could be reached any time of the week, no matter if it was day or night, or Weekends. I could make the phone call

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whenever I liked. It was like a hotline. Also, if you often called the head teacher, he/she would initiate a call to tell you how your child performed in school today. He/she would take your attitude as a sign that you really support your child in his study. The teachers like this kind of parents.

As a tradition in Chinese schools, parent-school interaction always centered around the students’ academic performance. Both Meiping and Ying said that when they were in China, they would ask their children’s class teacher to be stricter with their children. I asked several friends of mine who were elementary and high school teachers in different cities of China (I obtained my Bachelor’s degree from a Normal University and had many teacher friends who taught at different levels), and they told me that a typical parent meeting would be held by the end of a semester. The parents were invited into their children’s classroom at after-school hours. The parents would be asked to sit at their child’s seat. The teacher would announce the names of the top ten and the bottom ten students. Parents of the top ten students would be flattered and congratulated on by the teacher and other parents, while the parents of the bottom ten students tasted the humiliation and awkwardness of the moment. In many cases, the latter group of parents would go home and give their children a good scolding, while the parents of the top ten students would have even higher requirements for their children’s study so that they would retain their top ranking, or even move higher. When she recalled experience of such parent meeting, Ying still expressed great discomfort. For parents whose children had poor academic performance, the parent meeting usually generated tension between husband and wife, for it would be an unbearable ordeal, and neither of them wanted to attend such meeting. From the above example, one could tell that in China, in parent-teacher interaction, both sides took academic performance as the only focus, and parents expected to hear very blunt comments from the teachers. All the mothers in my study did not contact their children’s schools as frequently as they would do in China. When they cited the language barrier as one of the major reasons for this lack of communication, I mentioned to them that actually many schools would arrange a translator if they made the request. They all knew about the service, but felt uncomfortable to have a stranger present during the conversations because sometimes they wanted to talk about some personal concerns over their children’s academic performance and well-being. That’s why

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for parent meetings, they preferred to ask their own friends with better English proficiency to act as translators for them. Also, in Meiping’s words, there were too many immigrant parents who needed the translation service, but there were not enough translators. I once received an emergency call from Meiping on such an occasion. The friend who often made phone calls to the teachers and went to parent meetings with her was not available for this particular parent meeting. Unfortunately, I was not available for that time period. I could sense her anxiety at the other end of the telephone and recommended to her another friend. This example showed that a little thing as going to a meeting with teachers could pose some difficulties to the parents. They valued such opportunities to communicate directly with the teachers and wanted to gain information and exchange ideas with the teachers to the best effect. But for the mothers, the few occasions when they did have face-to-face conversations with the teachers, were not very rewarding. As Liang (1975) pointed out, one essential quality to survive in Chinese society was the ability to detect the implied and underlying meaning of conversations, which was the byproduct of convoluted interpersonal relationships. In order to incite as many ripples as possible, one has to equip oneself with detailed knowledge of signs, innuendos, and possible connections that exist between different people. Tung (2000) has made such an observation, “Generally speaking, the level of context, or shared experience, is much higher in an interdependent culture than in an individualistic one. This is one reason why Asians usually do not value or trust verbal communication. It is the action, or behavior, that counts” (p. 45). There is a saying in Chinese culture, “In a conversation, do not listen merely to the words, but also pay attention to the tones, and moods contained in the voice.” I remembered in my family there was always a lot of guesswork going on. We tended to communicate our feelings by gestures, glances, and actions. Over the years, I have learned to judge my mother’s intentions, and feelings from the slightest motion of her face or body. If sometimes I failed to pick up such hints, my mother would take it as a deliberate rebuttal. The complicated process of guessing, guessing back, and second guessing expends a lot of energy and time, yet failing to pick up this strategy is socially disadvantageous and one would not be regarded as being “one of us,” which is an unenviable situation in an interdependent society. Expecting to read deeper meaning from the teachers’ words, Ying expressed disappointed feelings in her communication with her son’s teachers,

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I feel that the parent-teacher meeting here also protects privacy. That is to say, it is one-on-one. Er, from the teachers’ words, I feel that I cannot gain much information. Er, everything is good. When I read the report card, I think the local people can understand the meaning underlying the words. But I cannot. Sometimes the teachers used such words as ‘extremely’, ur, ‘strong’, ‘proud of you’, but I was thinking, how come getting 60 or 70 in the test be described so. Then how about those who get 90 in the tests? But I think ‘extremely’ is like very, very, very, very, very… I think if a teacher would say, if back in China to say ‘proud of you’, at least this person is top one student, who gains fame for the class.

In my exchange with Ying, I said maybe the standard employed is different. Maybe the teacher felt that compared with his/her previous performance, the student made great progress and wants to advocate for the student by giving praise. Ying felt that even under such circumstances, there should be differentiation in giving out praise to students, “It depends. If after listening to such praise, the kid takes it as motivation. ‘Aiya, I am good. The teacher said that I was good.’ His confidence is boosted. Then such praise is effective. If after hearing this, the kid thinks that the teacher praises me for having 70. Then if I have 60, it is also acceptable.” Ying hopes that the praise could incite positive behavior from the students. If it helps breed a sense of complacency, the space for further progress narrows. In Ying’s eyes, the choice of praise or criticism should be a strategic move determined by the teacher’s thorough knowledge of the student’s personality and academic potential. It should not be a sweeping act of praise regardless of the individual condition. Ying’s response to the report card recalls to my mind what some of my classmates (who were school teachers) at OISE shared about their report card experience. They said how anxious and nervous they felt when writing the report card, for they did not want to hurt the feelings and selfesteem of the students. They would come up with a roundabout way when giving advice or comments by avoiding negative expressions. Yet at the same time they want these comments to be individualized and speak to the specific needs and characteristics of each student. You can imagine how much work and thought are put into each word of the report card, yet for immigrant parents, the subtlety of the language is lost, and they cannot pick up the advice and tips hinted in the report. The hard work of the teachers has come to nothing. Ying said that her son’s teachers in China would openly tell her the weak points in her son’s study and give her suggestions as to how to help him improve in the future.

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The suggestions can be as specific as a list of exercise books, which the teachers want the student to work on in their spare time. Parents were expected to supervise their children on such extra-homework, and they embraced such opportunities since they felt that they could be of use to the improvement of their children’s performance at school. Yun also had her take on the parent-teacher relationship, and she felt that there were two different attitudes among the teachers, Some teachers are responsible, and would say, ur, this is the homework, ur, do it together with your daughter. Teachers, ur, another kind of teachers were like, this is my responsibility, but she won’t do it, but you shouldn’t do it either. You are the mom, you should take a rest. You have been to work all day.

It’s worth noting that Yun regarded the teachers who would ask her to help her daughter out in her homework as “responsible,” and this tells much about her view on the role and responsibilities of teachers. In fact, the local schools try different methods to engage immigrant parents. In the Sister School project, one of the counselors shared about the homework policy at her school and explained that the information sheet was printed in both English and Chinese to invite the participation of immigrant parents. She said that the teachers had noticed that some of the students did not tell their parents what was going on at school, and some immigrant parents did not communicate with the school because of language barrier. There is the information gap between school and family, which becomes ever larger as lack of information or misinformation renders communication more and more difficult. For this reason, on the homework policy sheet, some important dates were written down. For example, the dates for parent meetings, and the dates when students received their report cards. The communication barrier is confirmed by my research participants. Meiping said that she wanted to communicate more with the teachers, but she couldn’t due to her English proficiency, Each time when the teacher contacted me, I would ask for the phone number. And then my friend would make the phone call for me. Now I feel that the language has caused great inconvenience in our life. For example, I have no way to learn about my son’s performance at school. I could only wait until the school report. Ur, last time, I brought a friend to attend the parent-teacher meeting. Er, the teachers communicated with

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her as to what we parents should do. But the teachers are different from the teachers in China. They seem to be more positive and encouraging, ur, so that you won’t feel great pressure.

Some of the communicative difficulties were caused by the different understanding and expectation of teachers’ roles in the two cultures. As the graduate assistant, I once acted as interpreter for a lecture given by a veteran Canadian educational consultant to a group of visiting Chinese teachers. The Canadian educational expert talked about Ontario’s pre-service teacher education, and how ethical standards were deemed as essential for effective teaching and learning experience (http://www.oct. ca/standards/ethical_standards.aspx?lang=en-CA). He mentioned that in local schools, it was greatly emphasized that teachers should maintain a distance from students, and new teachers knew what would be deemed as inappropriate behavior in their relationship with the students. When I heard about this, I had the same reaction as the group of Chinese teachers who visited Canada for the first time: This was so different from the practice in China. In the pre-service training and all the professional development activities that I have attended in China, ethical standard was also stressed, but it mainly dealt with responsibility and accountability as far as teaching performance was concerned, and little has been mentioned about the proper distance with the students. In fact, in Chinese tradition, teachers are compared to fathers (in ancient China, there were only male teachers, and girls were not supposed to receive education). Confucius thus commented on his student Hwei’s attitude toward himself, “Hwei looked on me as a father” (Brooks & Brooks, 1998, p. 71). Although the emphasis is laid on the deep respect toward the teacher, the fact that teachers are compared to fathers instantly changes the relationship between teacher and student from a professional relation to a more intimate one. In modern China, as more and more women choose to become teachers, teachers start to be compared to mothers. In the pre-service training that I received in China, the professors appealed to us students by saying “treat your students like your own children.” The problem with this metaphor is that the boundaries between teachers and students become blurred, and sometimes teachers might be a bit too intrusive in their interaction with students. In one extreme case, a student named Tao Chongyuan pursuing his master’s degree at a university in Wuhan committed suicide because of the abuse from his supervisor. According to Tao’s sister, “the professor allegedly ordered Tao to carry

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out household chores for him, forced him to call him ‘father’ and threatened to expel Tao from the university if he applied for PhD programmes abroad or got a part-time job outside his degree” (Chen, 2019). Such imbalance of power between supervisors and students has caused heated discussion in the media and called attention to the ethical issues of the teaching profession. Of course, the above example falls into the extreme of the spectrum of teacher-student relations where the teacher regards the students as his personal property or even slave, and the other extreme on the spectrum would be the total sacrifice on the part of teachers. This topic also comes up in the discussion with my students in a graduate course. We talked about the widely accepted metaphors for teachers and teaching in Chinese culture and ended up with images such as candles (which burn themselves and light others), mothers, silkworm (which produces silk while consuming themselves), beacon, gardener, etc. Such metaphors elevate teachers to the position of saints, which put great pressure on the role of teacher, and a demand for sacrifice inherent to the profession. In the Sister school project, one Canadian teacher who had the chance to visit Chinese schools commented on the extra work the Chinese teachers did on weekends without pay, “If we had to come in on a Saturday, our unions would make sure that we were paid. We wouldn’t be allowed to do that. But in China, very dedicated teachers would do that because they care.” This again highlights the cultural difference in the teaching profession between Canada and China. In Chinese schools, because of the deeply rooted concept of teachers as father or mother figures, parents would expect more from the teachers. For example, both Meiping and Yun expressed the wish that if their children started dating in high school, the teachers should interfere, or at least inform the parents of what was going on. And they said if such things happened in China, the head teacher would definitely let the parents know, so that they could take some actions. Hua thus commented on the differences in the professional culture, Sometimes what we mean is different from what they think. Also, they have more concerns. Once we said that our kid, our kid is in the mixed class. That is, Grade 3 and Grade 4, or Grade 4 and Grade 5 students are in the same class. We feel that the lessons are too easy for our daughter, so we asked the teacher if he/she could promote her by one grade. The teacher refused. What she meant is that once she did that for a kid, but

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the parents of the kid made a complaint to the school. This kind of things are hard to say.

From my contact with the parents, it seems that one major source for the parents to get to know the local school is through other parents and their children’s classmates. To have direct contact with the school is an intimidating idea to the parents and they didn’t want to seem incompetent in their children’s teachers’ eyes because of the language barrier. It seems that the immigrant parents need a lot more encouragement and support from the schools and teachers to be able to get more involved in their children’s school life. The lack of knowledge of the local school system sometimes causes fear and mistrust among Chinese immigrant parents. For the mothers who have younger children in the household, they are surprised by the comments and complaints they received from the teachers or counselors. Hua applied for a childcare counselor to come to her home once every month. She heard of this free service from the daycare teacher and hoped that she could get some advice from the counselor and get to know more about the Canadian way of child-rearing. It turned out to be a negative experience for her. Hua told me of the following incident. Once when the counselor came over, Hua was trying to feed her son, who kept running away and refusing to sit down to finish his meal. The counselor said that she shouldn’t chase after him like this, and if he would not take the meal, just ignore him. He would ask for food when he was hungry. Hua could not agree with this method and viewed it in a different way, There is a saying in Chinese, ‘The tree turns straight when it grows up’. Don’t force a child to do things that he/she cannot do. Take eating as an example, when he reaches a certain age, he would naturally eat on his own. But if he was still too young, and you force him to do it, that would make him miserable, and the adults would suffer too. Whether the child will be an independent adult or not, wait and see…

Hua also received complaints from the daycare teacher about her son’s behavior in class, The teacher called me and complained that during circle and story time, my son did not sit still and listen to the story. He would raise his hand again and again, asking the teacher lots of questions. Isn’t it the Western ideal to respect the kids and give them the freedom and space?

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Yun had similar observation on this matter, and she was quite surprised by the behavioral difference shown by her son in different settings, My son knows that he needs to make extra efforts to appear good. When he is at the kindergarten, he knows that he should wash his hands. That is to say, when he is at the kindergarten, he is wearing a “mask”. He appears mature, and quiet. When he is home, he cries, throws tantrum, and jumps up and down. It’s like two persons. I am very surprised. At home, he is such a baby. He is like a four-year-old. While at school, he is ur, like a little gentleman.

It appears that Hua and Yun were not the only ones who make such comments. I have heard similar stories from my friends in the US and Canada who had younger children in the family. They all expressed a certain degree of puzzlement and resistance over the teachers’ comment that their children behaved immaturely. This incident highlights the difference in child-rearing in the two cultures, and misconception of the host culture held by the immigrant parents. The parents tend to view the cultures as two extremes of the spectrum, and this simplistic view often results in misjudgment of behavior deemed appropriate in the local culture. While in Chinese schools, decorum and respect for the teacher are encouraged, the parents would expect that there won’t be strict discipline in the Canadian schools and would be taken by surprise when they received complaints from the teachers about the lack of order and discipline of their children. Distancing themselves from Chinese society, the immigrant parents expect that the children would be free as little birds, who might fly, sing, and play as they liked. They were taken quite by surprise when social conformity was expected of a three-year-old. Yun complained, “Why, they (referring to her son’s teachers in daycare) treat the children as if they were teenagers. I have a friend whose son is of the same age as mine. The teacher has complained to her several times that her son did not obey the rules. She was exasperated by such criticism, and said to me, ‘I thought they would encourage creativity and originality, but the teachers were more concerned about their manners. It’s really a let-down.’” To better understand the standpoints of the immigrant parents, Benedict’s (2005) comparison between Japanese and American cultures might be illuminating,

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The arc of life in Japan is plotted in opposite fashion to that in the United States. It is a great shallow U-curve with maximum freedom and indulgence allowed to babies and to the old. Restrictions are slowly increased after babyhood till having one’s own way reaches a low just before and after marriage. This low line continues many years during the prime of life, but the arc gradually ascends again until after the age of sixty men and women are almost as unhampered by shame as little children are. In the United States we stand this curve upside down. Firm disciplines are directed toward the infant and these are gradually relaxed as the child grows in strength until a man runs his own life when he gets a selfsupporting job and when he sets up a household of his own. The prime of life is with us the high point of freedom and initiative. (p. 254)

The shallow U-curve of Japanese life could also be applied to the Chinese culture, which could partly explain the discomfiture the mothers felt when they found themselves questioned about their parenting practice. It takes time to gain deeper knowledge of the host culture. In fact, the local schools are eager to build stronger home-school connections and get immigrant parents involved in school affairs. In my fieldwork with the Sister School project, one principal shared the following opinions with us, “we want to invite the community into the school, we want to be able to say to our parents, this is your community as well. You know, learn about the school, come into our school, come to our events.” When Chinese immigrant parents saw that the school fostered cultural exchange activities, they showed greater enthusiasm in school activities. When the Chinese delegation visited one of the local schools, it hosted a Thanksgiving dinner, and according to the principal, it was “one of the best attended school council meeting,” and such exchange activity “sends a very strong message to our parent community that our school is an inclusive school, and we do go above and beyond to appreciate and recognize the heritage culture.” This impact also extends to the greater community because the family of schools all pitched in with their support in hosting the visitors from China. In this sense, the community, schools, students, and parents all get involved in the reciprocity circle, and undoubtedly, it takes efforts from all sides to forge the continuous movement and maintain the natural flow of communication and goodwill. The mothers in my study constantly compared Canadian schools with their school experience in mainland China, and they were impressed by the critical thinking encouraged in the local teaching. As time went on,

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the mothers began to show concern about the school culture in the local school. They were afraid that the school life was too easy or comfortable for the children, and they were not motivated to realize their potential. In the next chapter, I discuss the mothers’ interaction with other Chinese immigrant parents in their efforts to get information and support about Canadian schooling.

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He, M. (Writer), & Wang, H. (Director). (2006). Red cat and blue rabbit. Hunan, China: GreatDreams Cartoon Group. Hsu, F. L. K. (1953). Americans and Chinese: Two ways of life. New York: Henry Schuman. Hume, D. (1987). Essays, moral, political and literary. Indianapolis: LibertyClassics. Kao, G. (1995). Asian Americans as model minorities? A look at their academic performance. American Journal of Education, 103(2), 121–159. Kelly, M. L., & Tseng, H. (1992). Cultural differences in child rearing: A comparison of immigrant Chinese and Caucasian American mothers. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 23(4), 444–455. Lee, J., & Zhou, M. (2015). The Asian American achievement paradox. New York: Russel Sage Foundation. Legge, J. (Trans.). (1991). The Chinese classics: The works of Mencius (Vol. 2). Taipei, Taiwan: SMC Publishing Inc. Liang, S. (1975). The spirit of Chinese culture. Taipei, Taiwan: Zheng Zhong Press. Louie, V. (2001). Parents’ aspirations and investment: The role of social class in the educational experiences of 1.5- and second-generation Chinese Americans. Harvard Educational Review, 71(3), 438–474. Luo, G. (1953). The chronicles of the three kingdoms. Beijing: People’s Literature Publishing House. Ministry of Education. (2019). Statistical bulletin of nationwide educational development in 2018. Retrieved on November 1, 2019 from http://www. moe.gov.cn/jyb_sjzl/sjzl_fztjgb/201907/t20190724_392041.html. Miyazaki, I. (1976). China’s examination hell: The civil service examinations of imperial China (C. Schirokauer, Trans.). New York: Weatherhill. Pham, S. (2010, December 9). High test scores, but China education flawed. ABC News/Politics. Retrieved on December 21, 2019 from http:// abcnews.go.com/Politics/chinas-education-prepares-students-tests/story?id= 12348599&page=3. Qin, A. (2017, August 5). Britain turns to Chinese textbooks to improve its math scores. The New York Times. Retrieved on November 1, 2019 from https:// www.nytimes.com/2017/08/05/world/asia/china-textbooks-britain.html#. Schneider, B., & Lee, Y. (1990). A model for academic success: The school and home environment of East Asian students. Anthropology and Education Quarterly, 21, 358–377. Steffenhagen, J. (2011, May 10). School policy to combat gay discrimination draws protest. The National Post. Tung, M P.-m. (2000). Chinese Americans and their immigrant parents: Conflict, identity, and values. New York: Haworth Clinical Practice Press.

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Wang, W. (2013). Chinese and American standards for mathematics competence: Difference in thinking and its impact. Journal of Curriculum and Instruction, 9, 10–14. Wang, Y., & Zhou, X. (2006). Three-character canon and essay of one thousand characters (F. Meng & F. Peng, Trans.). Beijing: China Translation and Publishing Corporation. Wilson, S., & Berne, J. (1999). Teacher learning and the acquisition of professional knowledge: An examination of research on contemporary professional development. In A. Iran-Negad & P. D. Pearson (Eds.), Review of Research in Education, 24, 173–209. Xiao, Z. (2012). Chinese society is permeated by the “getting off the sinking ship” atmosphere. Retrieved on February 20, 2019 from http://m.aisixiang. com/data/50040.html. Ye, T. (1998). Weighing the elephant (L. Suzane, Illus.). Toronto, ON: Annick Press. Yu Wen. (2017). Vol. 1. Beijing: People’s Education Press. Zhao, G. (2007). Culturally appropriate pedagogy: is it always necessary? The case of East Asians learning math and science. Intercultural Education, 18(5), 473–486. Zhao, Y. (2009). Catching up or leading the way: American education in the age of globalization. Alexandria, VA: ASCD. Zheng, W. (2006). Canadian and Chinese classrooms are different. Teacher Newsmagazine, 19(1), 5.

CHAPTER 6

Interaction with Other Chinese Immigrant Parents

This chapter discusses the mothers’ interaction with other Chinese immigrant parents, which greatly influenced the mothers’ parental practice. The mothers’ social circle was mainly composed of other immigrants from mainland China. The mothers made certain choices over their children’s education due to some peer pressure from other immigrant parents, and they also got many tips about the local school from the Chinese immigrant community. The narratives provide a picture of the major social lives of the mothers. The importance of interpersonal relation in Chinese culture helps account for the ways in which the mothers network with other Chinese immigrant parents. This chapter focuses on the mothers’ efforts to gain more support in their children’s schooling by establishing a network with other Chinese immigrant parents, and the difficulties faced by the mothers as they socialized within a relatively enclosed circle of Chinese people.

6.1

Chinese Schools in Toronto

To better understand the mothers’ interaction with other Chinese immigrant parents, and the influence of Chinese community on the mothers’ parenting practice, we need first to understand the mothers’ choice of school for their children. The parents in the four families all chose schools with a high Chinese population for their children. Yun once expressed her © The Author(s) 2020 X. Chi, Cross-Cultural Experiences of Chinese Immigrant Mothers in Canada, Intercultural Reciprocal Learning in Chinese and Western Education, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-46977-1_6

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concern over this issue, and she was worried that this might affect her daughter’s ability to socialize with people from other ethnic groups when she started working in the society. The other three mothers had similar concerns. Their home location determined which public school their children could go to. From my years of observation, I come to understand why Chinese immigrants tend to cluster in certain residential areas. For many new Chinese immigrants, their first stop in Toronto would be the family inns managed by Chinese immigrants who have stayed in Canada for several years. In fact, this has become an important source of income for some immigrant families who first invested in buying a house even before they could find a job. They would rent rooms in their house to new immigrants at a price much cheaper than hotels. In fact, such family inns meant a lot to new immigrants, who could find a temporary place to stay before starting house-hunting. What’s more important, because there was no language barrier, the newcomers could seek advice from the landowners about public transit, the various cards that they needed to apply to at the social services, what documents to get prepared, and how to get to those social services offices. Such matters might seem trivial, but for a stranger in a new city who felt somewhat disoriented, the help from the landowners meant a lot. Such family inns were often close to some Chinese supermarkets, barbershops, and shopping malls. I learned from my landlady that many newcomer families got their children enrolled in the local school first thing when they landed in Toronto, for they placed their children’s education as the first priority. Naturally, they chose a school nearby. Later on, in order not to disrupt their children’s school life, the immigrant parents chose to rent or buy houses in the same area. Gradually, the Chinese community became bigger and bigger. In turn, this settlement pattern of new Chinese immigrants affected their children’s school population as more and more newcomer Chinese students went to the same school. Besides the geographical consideration, the mothers said that when they first came to Canada, they chose schools with high Chinese population for their children so that they could have a smoother transition from the Chinese system to the Canadian one. They wished that their children could get some help from other Chinese students. In my conversation with Mike and Mary, they both said that they only hang out with their Chinese friends at school. When he first went to the local school, Mike spoke Mandarin with other Chinese students after class. As I have mentioned before, Mary showed great mistrust toward

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the so-called mainstream “white” culture, and that is a place that she had no inclination to explore. She felt that she and her Chinese friends could better understand each other, since they were from similar family backgrounds. This characteristic of the social networking for Chinese immigrant students posed the following questions: What does it mean for a Chinese child to have only Chinese friends during his/her adolescent years? When they graduate from high school and have more opportunities to mingle with people from different racial backgrounds, how will they adjust? Have they got a chance to prepare themselves for the mainstream society, which is not reflected in the culture of the Chinese community? These are the questions the mothers in my study were deliberating when they noticed that their children made friends only with Chinese children.

6.2

Social Networking

As Liang (1975) pointed out, Chinese society was organized around ethical relationship, and the intricacies and convolutedness in interpersonal relations sometimes become a heavy burden. All the mothers in my research cited simplicity in interpersonal relations as one of the greatest appealing features of the life in Canada. They complained about the intricate networking within Chinese families and working places. Meiping said that if they did not immigrate to Toronto, they needed to make full use of all their interpersonal relations so that her son could get into a high school with good renown. She said that sometimes with all the maneuvring, one still might fail in achieving the goal. Ying wished that the simplicity in the interpersonal relations in Canada might be to her son’s advantage, and give him a head start. When I exchanged ideas on such issues with my friends, and relatives in China, who had children in schools, I learned that such concerns over the role played by social networking in children’s school life are prevalent among parents. All the mothers in my study cited this factor as one of the reasons for immigration. They felt extra pressure generated by the intricacies of interpersonal relation and held meritocracy as the ideal standard for evaluation of students’ performance. They all expressed a great relief when they did not need to invest time, energy, and money in building and maintaining good relation with teachers, and school administrators. In this regard, they appreciated the relative simplicity of their social life in Canada. Having lived in Canada for ten years, Yun found herself surprised by the ripples generated by the social network in mainland China,

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The other day I got a phone call, and the woman kept saying that this was an international call from China, and she got my number from a friend’s friend. She made inquiry for her son on the issue of medical care. I was greatly surprised, for her son was staying in our hospital at the time of her phone call. Why couldn’t he ask me the questions himself?

On the other hand, as time went on, the mothers in my study started to miss the privileges they enjoyed by investing in interpersonal relation back in China. Many Chinese immigrants summed up their life in their foster country as “beautiful scenery, clean water, and lonely heart” (hao shan, hao shui, hao ji mo) (Kayden, 2019; Luo, 2014). All three Chinese phrases contain the same character hao, which means good in hao shan, hao shui, and very in hao ji mo. In Chinese folk culture, there is the tradition of summarizing a social phenomenon, or a state of life with lyric-like sentences, and more often than not, they will contain a witty play of words, which helps spread the message among the common people. In these phrases, the prevailing sentiment is loneliness, which cannot be redeemed by the various benefits of the new environment. Meiping once said to me, “In my hometown, when we went to the hospital, we did not have to wait in line. We could go directly to a doctor who is the friend of a friend’s, and this doctor would take us to the doctor we need to see.” In order to compensate for this kind of loneliness and sense of helplessness, many immigrants try to sponsor their relatives to Canada to regain the feeling of an extended family. Yun jokingly said that her husband came from an extended family, and she used to feel annoyed by the succession of relatives who came to ask favors of her husband, You know, we live in the capital city of Anhui province, and his relatives from the country came to borrow money, asked him to help looking for menial jobs, or transferring their children to a city school. And each time when they were in town, they expected us to provide food and lodging for them. I used to quarrel with my husband over such matters (laughed). It did not feel like a home any more, it was more like a hotel.

Yun was recalling her life in China, and such details again confirmed my above observation on interpersonal relations in Chinese society. But what she went on to say came as a surprise, “But now I feel quite lonely and insecure. If something happened to us, we did not have any relative to go to. We are thinking of sponsoring some of them over to Canada. You

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know, ur, many of our friends have the same thought.” In other words, these immigrants were seeking the sense of belonging, since they did not find such a haven in the local society, they wanted to try other ways to alleviate the sense of insecurity and anxiety by weaving a smaller yet more familiar net around themselves. Under such circumstances, the networking with other Chinese immigrant families has become essential for the social life of the four families in my study. Usually, they would celebrate traditional Chinese holidays and Canadian public holidays with their Chinese friends. For example, Yun’s family formed an intimate circle with three other Chinese immigrant families, and each family hosted a party by turns every two weeks. I was invited to some of these parties and was touched by the hospitality of my Chinese friends. Living alone in Canada, I appreciate such kind gestures as they help expand my social circle, and acquaint me with the culture of local Chinese community. Such gatherings started at noon and lasted till 10 or 11 p.m. Lavish meals were prepared, and for the rest of the time, the adults usually talked about Chinese politics, their children’s education, or played cards, while the younger generation played games together to their hearts’ content. The other three families had similar social gatherings with their Chinese friends. For Chinese immigrants, the most important social event of the year is the celebration of Chinese New Year. In China, Chinese New Year is a statutory holiday, that has a history of several thousand years, and it is a time to celebrate the beginning of a new year. For me, childhood memories of Chinese New Year are a mixture of flavors of delicious food, the joy of receiving gifts, the uplifting sense of fresh hope, the excitement of playing with firecrackers, and the thwarted wish that the holiday will last forever. It is one of those rare occasions where lapse of time only serves to sharpen one’s senses about the event. For Chinese overseas, Chinese New Year becomes equivalent of homesickness, and all four families in my research chose to celebrate the day together with other Chinese immigrants. If it happened to be a weekday, they would celebrate it on the nearest weekend. One of the highlights on this occasion is the variety show broadcast on Chinese New Year’s Eve by China Central Television. The buzz around this show in Chinese media can be compared to the Academy Awards Ceremony in the US. Once I was invited by a Chinese friend to celebrate the Chinese New Year. She video-recorded the New Year variety show. The dozen guests all gathered around the television and naturally the conversation centered around the

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variety show—paparazzi stories about the superstars who were giving performances, and comments on social problems reflected in some comedy sketches. Such social gatherings also became the major platform for the parents to exchange ideas on their children’s education and seek advice on some educational issues from their friends. The parents would compare notes over such matters as school rankings, the children’s scores, the tutoring classes, the musical instruments they practiced, and the choice of university majors. As I have mentioned in my discussion about the acculturation process in Chapter 4, Chinese parents would expect and welcome open discussion and criticism about their own children from their friends or acquaintances. For example, in one of the social gatherings, Yun asked each adult present for their opinion on Mary’s choice of forensic studies as her major, “What do you think? How about the job prospect? Is it easy to find a job in that field? How about criminology?” Mary did not like being the object of discussion and avoided such scenes by staying away from the living room.

6.3

Peer Pressure and Parental Expectation

No matter whether it is in Canadian culture, or Chinese culture, peer pressure from other parents all features as an important element in parents’ decision about their children’s education. In the documentary entitled “Hyper Parents and Coddled Kids” (Bartlett & LeRose, 2010) broadcast on the Passionate Eye of CBC, the parents talked about the pressure they received from other parents, and how the pressure trickled down to the children. One parent said that her daughter would tell her that her peers were learning some other programs. This is also true with immigrant parents from mainland China. In my research, the mothers all talked rather negatively about this peer pressure and attributed much of the anxiety they felt in their children’s education to the competitive attitude among the parents. They somewhat agreed that since they left their relatives and friends behind in China, the competition was not as fierce, yet they still felt the sting of such pressure among their Chinese friends. Yun even went one step further in observing that such competition is prevalent in every aspect of her life, Chinese, look at me, including me, we have a weakness, that is the competitiveness. I did not notice this before, but now I suddenly realize that,

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for instance, I bought this house because it was the same structure and size as my friend Mrs Wong’s.

This became a bitter point with Yun, and she admitted that her family should have bought a cheaper house, which would not put such a financial strain on them. She also commented on the fact that many Chinese immigrant parents sent their children to the gifted program, Many classmates around me, er, gave me great pressure. It seemed that if you did not get into the gifted program. If you did not send your daughter to the best school, it seemed that you were deprived of something. But you need to base the decision on the child’s potential, right? I know many children who went to the gifted program. Even if some of them did not enrol in the gifted program, they would take part in the exam. To prove that my children had the ability.

Yun jokingly said, “I was scared when I sat with some parents. Their children got 90 in their tests. The parents wanted them to reach 100.” One anecdote from my fieldwork could best illustrate the fierce competition in Chinese schools. In the Sister School project, during the welcome reception for Beijing delegation, Beijing teachers showcased their school by giving a PowerPoint presentation. It is interesting to note that as the highlight of the school achievement, the photos of a girl and a boy student were shown, who ranked first and fourth in Beijing College Entrance exam, respectively. This is a clear indicator of the formidable presence of the college entrance exam in the school system of China. It has lingering effect on Chinese immigrant parents’ mindset and they still attach greater importance to academic excellence, compared with accomplishments in other aspects. When the Beijing delegation planned this visit, the teachers deliberately chose the national holiday of China. When asked why they did not choose to have substitute teachers so that they needn’t take up their precious vacation for business trip, one of the teachers thus responded, the teachers were held accountable for the students’ performance at the entrance exam for university, and “If I put my class in your hands for a few days, and if in the future, the students’ performance deteriorated, it’s hard to tell who should take the blame.” In fact, some teachers in the delegation would have classes the following day they returned to China. Another teacher mentioned that in her school, the principal and vice principals would pop into classes without any notice and observe the lesson. It

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might happen twice each semester. From this, we can see the overwhelming pressure under which the teachers work. This pressure may have the adverse effect of laying too much emphasis on the final result, i.e., the score for college entrance exam, and other pursuits in education will be reduced to the status of expendables. Growing up in such a highly competitive environment, and being constantly reminded that there were higher and loftier goals to achieve, I was deeply impressed by the following lines from Rousseau (1921), “let there be no comparison with other children, no rivalry, no competition, not even in running races. I would far rather he [Emile] did not learn anything than have him learn it through jealousy or self-conceit” (p. 136). I find it quite refreshing and empowering to view the matter of growth and progress with oneself as the reference point, especially when I witness the mounting competition pressure faced by today’s young people, which is the cause of many psychological issues. The markedly high rate of breakdown cases of college students speaks loudly of the stresses shouldered by young people in Chinese society. Li’s (2004) research on Chinese immigrant parents’ expectation of their children found that “As a tradition, the parents emphasize the importance of school achievement and moral character. In response to their life disadvantages in Canada, the parents rely on science-related career aspirations and cultural integration to help optimize their children’s future” (p. 167). Hua’s daughter is now in fourth grade, and Hua encouraged her to become a scientist, a doctor, or a mathematician. From my observation of Chinese immigrant families in Toronto, I also find that science-related careers are parents’ top choice, but they are also very practical and flexible in this matter based on their assessment of their children’s academic ability. When it comes to such issues as course selection, and future career choice, the parents’ lack of knowledge of the local school system has put some strain over the relationship between the parents and the children. When Yun’s daughter Mary was in 10th grade, she was faced with the big decision of course selection in 11th grade. Yun and her husband were very anxious that she should make the right decision and have a good prospect for university education. Mary did not like the intervention from her parents and said to them, “What do you know? I know more about school than you are.” Yun and her husband knew that there was truth in her statement, but still they were bothered by the fear that Mary’s lack of experience might cost her dearly in a crucial decision in her life. Yun and her husband asked Mary what kind of career she

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had in mind for her future. Mary said that she had no idea, but she liked manga, and if she could draw manga for a living, that would be fun. Her parents immediately vetoed this option. Yun told me of her reasoning, “I know she likes manga, but that’s merely scribbling. She has never received any training in drawing and fine art.” Yun and her husband wanted Mary to become a teacher, “It’s a suitable profession for girls. And she will have long vacations. It’s not that we are forcing her to become a teacher in the future, but she has no clue. She thinks it’s vulgar to talk about money, but wait till she has to support herself.” When I talked with Mary, she had her concern about becoming a teacher, “The only one that makes sense to me is teaching, but the thing about teaching is I don’t get along well with kids.” Yun asked me for help, “You are a PhD student in education and you must know.” It was at that moment that the depth of the frustration suffered by the immigrant parents struck home to me. The fact is that I had little idea how the system works either because this issue has not been a focus of my study and research in Canada. I immediately contacted my classmates at OISE, who were high school teachers in Toronto, and started to learn about this issue. I checked on the website of the Ministry of Education to learn about the requirements for the Ontario Secondary School Diploma and also looked for information on the college recruitment process. Whatever I have learned, I told Yun. Yun made every effort in her power to gain more information on this issue. Besides soliciting my help, she did her own investigation, which she called the “grand workplace interview.” She put the question of how to select courses in the 11th grade to all her colleagues that she could engage a conversation with, and was greatly surprised by what she learned from these graduates from Canadian universities, I don’t know what is the problem. I think it is different values. They all said that I should not interfere. Er, they said that I should let Mary choose for herself. They asked me what she liked. I said painting. They said, ‘Well, let her pursue it’. I said, ‘Can she feed her mouth by painting?’ I am all confused. I also suggested to Mary that she become a social worker in the future. Now I am thinking, if she does not like it, I would be the one to blame.

My efforts to get to know the course selection process in the last two years of high school and its impact on the students’ university application

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helped me better understand some of the parents’ views on their children’s education. In one social gathering that I attended, some Chinese parents happened to talk about this issue. I noticed the attitude of gaining credit for credit’s sake. One mother said that her son had passed the test for level 8 in playing violin, “I told him to quit practicing. He has gained one credit for this, and there is no need to waste any more time on it.” Another prevalent feeling is the stigma attached to colleges. Chinese parents’ interpretation of streaming in the local high school reveals that they are trying to understand the local practices by translating them into Chinese terms. Hua’s daughter is in Grade 4 and she does not have first-hand knowledge of the streaming practice in high school yet, but she has already gained some initial impression from other Chinese parents, One of my friends told me that at high school, they will also have a “fast” class and a “slow” class. And students in the “fast” class will work hard, and harder. And a group of good kids will study together. While the kids in the “slow” class will learn something like training, or they will go to college, or they just drop off. There is no way to catch up.

Meiping also made it very clear that Mike has to go to a university. College is unacceptable. From this, we can see again the stigma attached to applied courses or colleges in Chinese immigrant parents’ eyes. In the case of Yun and her husband, this is also the case. They viewed it as disastrous if Mary failed to be admitted by a university. Any deviation from the “norm” (that is, to graduate in the 12th grade and get admitted by a firstrate university) would upset the parents. Staying for an extra year at high school or getting enrolled in a college seems something unimaginable to the parents and a serious devaluation of their immigration experience. Later when the new term started, Mary’s interest changed. She selected a course in life science and was fascinated by its contents. She decided that she wanted to become a forensic expert. To be qualified for this major, she had to demonstrate strong skills in math, but that was one subject that she was struggling with. As I have mentioned before, her mother thought that she hadn’t mastered some basic concepts and skills in math. Yun and her husband felt that this was a mission impossible and tried to dissuade her from pursuing this goal. Mary had a solid average of 80 plus with other subjects. In her parents’ estimation, if she chose to major in a field that did not have high requirement for math, there was a good chance that she would be admitted to a first-rate university. Yun told me in a helpless

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tone, “She said that life science was her passion. I guess she won’t give up before she hit the wall. Problem is, when she realizes that she cannot qualify for this major in the 12th grade, she has already spent too much energy and time on math. She is not as prepared for other majors.” Such an argument from her parents could not convince Mary. She said that she should at least try for something she felt passionate about. In the meanwhile, Yun did not want to push too hard. She was afraid that she would get blamed for any failure in her future study if Mary followed their advice. She had a friend whose daughter could not graduate from university after 8 years. That girl followed her parents’ advice and studied a major in which she had no interest. She was admitted to a first-rate university, but failed one course after another. The parents and the girl felt the great pressure, and the girl blamed her parents for choosing that major for her. Yun felt that she should take the lesson from her friend. They hired a math tutor for Mary. She made progress, but still there was a great gap between her mark and the requirement for that major. In the meanwhile, the changed living environment and the academic performance of their children also gave the mothers second thoughts on the issue of career choice, and they would consider jobs that would not score high on their career choice for their children if they were in mainland China. Some researchers argue that the minority immigrant status increases parents’ expectations of their children (Ball, 2019; Chun, 1995; Hao & Bonstead-Bruns, 1998). In the case of my research participants, a determining factor in the mothers’ expectation is their children’s school marks. To learn about the parents’ expectation of their children will help us understand their view on their life as an immigrant and the inner struggle that they go through in order to come to terms with the current situation. It is true that many Chinese immigrant parents want their children to go into science-related fields when it comes to career choice. Li (2004) commented on this phenomenon, “With the fear of racism, the parents wisely guide their children to pursue a profession in science and technological fields where presumably exist less intangible racial barriers because the employment and evaluation is mainly based on technical skills” (p. 180). As a tutor who has the opportunity to get acquainted with many Chinese immigrant parents, Meiping noted the following differences in her tutoring experience, Most of the parents only hope that this subject, ur, the children will learn a skill, which will help him/her in the study of math, er, or chemistry and

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physics. Ur, it will be helpful to have drawing skills. While in mainland China, the purpose of joining in such programs is to let the children have one more hobby. It does not occur to the parents how helpful this will be for the children’s academic study.

With this difference in attitude, the energy and time invested in the art class also differ greatly. Meiping compared her students at Toronto with those she had when she was in mainland China, I feel that the kids I taught in China, I feel that they made rapid progress, while the kids here, every time the works they produced was just a wrap of wrinkled paper, everything was a mess. And the tip of the ink brush was nowhere to be found. And the colours were missing, because the parents, I found that he/she didn’t have time to take care of such things, because the parents, I feel each time she came over, she was exhausted. After she cooked dinner, she did not want to do anything anymore. If she could supervise the child with his/her schoolwork, that would be good. It’s impossible for her to spend more time going over the drawing lesson.

It seems that the parents’ attitude toward extracurricular activities and their input in their children’s education are also undergoing changes when the efforts to sustain the family financially have higher physical demands on them than their previous job in mainland China. There has been considerable research on the employment prospects of skilled immigrants in Canada, and the findings are discouraging. Many suffer unemployment or low-waged jobs in Canada (Basran & Zong, 1998; Chard, Badets, & Howatson-Leo, 2000; Li, 2000; Tang, 1993). Immigrants with foreign degrees who used to have the administrative position of managers had to become lower status white- or blue-collar workers (Chard et al., 2000; Salaff & Greve, 2006; Shea, 1994; Williams, Domnick, & Vayda, 1998). This finding rings true with my research participants. The reality affected the parents’ expectation of their children. Yun views the future career choice for her children in a new light, When we were in China, if you were looking for future spouse or some other things, there is the belief of “The pursuit of knowledge is superior to all other walks of life”, but it’s different here. Ur, if you have a college degree, or if you can be a repair mechanic, a plumber, you can also have a comfortable life. I think there is a difference in the values. What I am thinking now is that it doesn’t matter whether they are good at school.

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It’s OK if they have average scores as long as they can make a living upon graduation. I think that Chinese have some bad notion, and I realized this only after I came here. I mean the issue of schooling. The saying that “the pursuit of knowledge is superior to all other walks of life”. It is not so. Only when you come abroad, do you realize that one person has a variety of abilities, while we Chinese use one sole standard to measure them. That is, this person is good at study. Good at study means everything is good. He can be admitted by a university with the award of scholarship. It’s not so. This person might be excellent at his studies, but upon graduation, because of his/her mental health or some other reasons, he/she cannot make a living.

Yun refers to some real-life instances when she talks about straight A students who cannot well fit into the society. Several incidents involving Chinese born scholars who obtained PhD degrees in prestigious universities in the US captured the attention of Chinese media, both in mainland China and among the overseas Chinese. One of the scholars committed suicide, leaving behind him a three-year-old daughter and a young wife. The scholar had just moved back to China and become a faculty member of a top university. In my conversation with Meiping, she also mentioned similar stories, and how such incidents reminded her of the importance of mental health, In recent years, there are so many excellent (scholars), ur, who do not enjoy mental health. Faced with a little setback, the man who came back from abroad jumped off the building. Why did he jump off the building? Compared with other people in mainland China, you are much better off. You can be a lecturer at Zhejiang University. If you cannot become Associate Professor as soon as you expected, so what? So I think mental health is the key. As to how much knowledge the kid can master, it depends on his/her abilities. But if he/she does not have mental health, what’s the point of gaining a lot of knowledge?

The above reflections by both Yun and Meiping illustrate how the pressures and struggles of adjusting to a new life provide them with alternative views on the meaning of life and happiness other than those that have been entrenched in their beliefs when they were living in mainland China. It also reveals a subtle change in people’s attitude toward overseas Chinese. In the last century, people who immigrated to such countries as the US and Canada, used to be the objects of envy and admiration, and the

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hardships they had to face in establishing themselves in the new country were redeemed by the fact that they were better off than before financially. And those students who managed to obtain post-secondary degrees in North American universities, if they chose to go back to mainland China, usually landed on the most envious jobs in their field. But in recent years, with the development of the economy in mainland China, elite status is no longer attached to overseas Chinese, which becomes the source of great sense of loss among this group of people. Another reason for the devaluation of overseas degree is caused by the fact that more and more students can afford to study abroad. A new term haidai is coined for those people with overseas degree who fail to get themselves employed. Hai means the sea, obviously referring to overseas, while dai in Chinese means waiting, a state of suspense. Unemployment could also be the fate for people with international degrees. The expansive scale of cultural exchange provides precious opportunities for mutual learning and understanding. The mysterious veil enshrouding each culture is peeled off layer by layer, and the sublimity of Western culture which used to cause awe in Chinese people’s minds is gradually replaced by a more rational and balanced stance. Ying attributed the change in her attitude toward her son’s study to the differences between the two educational systems, He can go to school. That is to say, no matter how old he is, in his 30s, 40s, or even 50s, and 60s, as long as he wants to, he can go to school again. What’s more, if his scores in high school were not good, he could retake those courses. He could, if his scores were not high enough, he could go to college. After taking courses in college, he might transfer to a university, right? Once in the university, for instance, if I was not satisfied with this university, I worked hard and gained A+ in my courses. Then I could transfer to U of T or Waterloo. That is to say, it’s not like in China, one has no way out if one is not good at studies. There will be no way. No alternative. While here, if you want to go to school, there will always be the opportunity. Well, because of this possibility, parents’ attitudes also changed, and won’t be so strict with the kids.

As I have mentioned before, the parents adjusted their expectations according to their children’s estimated ability and performance at school. Hua’s daughter is a top student in her grade, and she wanted her to become a doctor, or a scientist. Hua pointed out why it is crucial for Chinese immigrant parents to invest more energy in their children’s study,

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It is too relaxing at the elementary and junior high school in Toronto. Too relaxing, but kids who come from China easily fit in the environment, because to them this is a welcome change from tightness to relaxation. So if your kids go to the Canadian schools, you have to make even more efforts in helping them at home. I think if you want him/her to be somebody, not to say being excellent, but having a bright future, you cannot relax at home.

6.4

Tips from the Virtual Community

From my conversations with the mothers in my study, I have learned that another major source of information on Canadian school and interaction with other parents is the Chinese website. There are Chinese websites based in major cities of North America and such sites have become a haven for overseas Chinese who feel left out by the local social life and try to find a platform to air their opinions and ideas. China Gate (http:// www.wenxuecity.com), for example, is one of the largest portal sites for overseas Chinese worldwide. According to the web information company Alexa, the traffic of this website ranks 335 in Canada (https://www. alexa.com/siteinfo/wenxuecity.com#section_traffic). “Political affairs,” “Immigration Tips,” “My China,” and “Next Generation Education” are among the most popular forums on the website. Due to the anonymity of the posters, the authors are frank in their discussions. In “Next Generation Education” forum, Chinese parents share stories of their children’s education, expressing their doubts, seeking advice and commenting on the school practice in North America. Hua gave me another website that she often visits, that is, CanadaMeet.com. This website serves the needs of Chinese immigrants in Canada. Under the forum entitled Children’s Education, one recent hot post is entitled, “Is it worthwhile for immigrant parents to sacrifice their career for their children’s sake?” (https:// forum.iask.ca/threads/892365/) Naturally, the life prospects of both parents and children are gradually unraveling in the new environment, and it takes courage and forbearance to fare well in this journey. These websites feature heated discussions among parents over their children’s school experience, and there were posts which compared the educational systems of China and Canada. Such debates showed how keen and eager these parents are for a platform that they can exchange ideas over these issues. There are parents who are fervent advocates of the local education system. What strikes me most is that such sources are out

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there all this time, but the immigrant parents have to seek help in the virtual community to get access to them. When I surfed the websites, I was moved by the generosity of many parents. They would share the lessons they had learned in the education of their children and posted web links or uploaded scanned materials that might be helpful for other immigrant parents. For example, in her efforts to help her daughter select courses for 11th grade, Yun also sought help from such websites. From such websites, she got the link to the “newcomer’s guide to secondary school” (https://settlement.org/ontario/education/elementary-andsecondary-school/general-information/what-does-a-student-need-tograduate-from-high-school/). Despite the peer pressure from other Chinese immigrant parents, all the mothers found great support from the Chinese community. They were eager to learn more about the Canadian school system, but did not get much information from the schools and teachers. By talking with Chinese parents, whose children were at different stages of schooling, the mothers gained some basic knowledge which would help them make decision about their children’s education. In the next chapter, I discuss the major findings of my research.

References Ball, D. (2019). America’s “Whiz Kids”? Ambivalence and the model minority stereotype. Sociological Spectrum, 39(2), 116–130. Bartlett, S., & LeRose, M. (2010). Hyper parents and coddled kids [DVD]. Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. Basran, G. S., & Zong, L. (1998). Devaluation of foreign credentials as perceived by visible minority immigrants in Canada. Canadian Ethnic Studies, 30(3), 6– 23. Chard, J., Badets, J., & Howatson-Leo, L. (2000). Immigrant women. Women in Canada, 2000: A gender-based statistical report (pp. 189–218). Ottawa: Statistics Canada. Chun, K. T. (1995). The myth of Asian American success and its educational ramifications. In D. T. Nakanishi & T. Y. Nishida (Eds.), The Asian American educational experience: A source book for teachers and students (pp. 95–112). New York: Routledge. Hao, L., & Bonstead-Bruns, M. (1998). Parent-child differences in educational expectations and the academic achievement of immigrant and native students. Sociology of Education, 71, 175–198.

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Kayden. (2019, March 27). Life in Vancouver as beautiful scenery, clean water, and lonely heart? The locals: Life is rich and nice. Retrieved on November 1, 2019 from https://www.bcbay.com/life/immigration/2019/03/27/ 629043.html. Li, J. (2004). Parental expectations of Chinese immigrants: A folk theory about children’s school achievement. Race Ethnicity and Education, 7 (2), 167–183. Li, P. S. (2000). Earning disparities between immigrants and native-born Canadians. La Revue Canadienne de Sociologie et D’Anthropologie/The Canadian Review of Sociology and Anthropology, 37, 289–311. Liang, S. (1975). The spirit of Chinese culture. Taipei, Taiwan: Zheng Zhong Press. Luo, W. (2014). American education focus on diversity: First-hand experience as an international student. Harbin: Heilongjiang Education Publishing House. Rousseau, J. (1921). Emile, or education (B. Foxley, Trans.). New York: E.P. Dutton. Salaff, J., & Greve, A. (2006). Why do skilled women and men emigrating from China to Canada get bad jobs? In E. Tastsoglou & A. Dobrowolsky (Eds.), Women, migration and citizenship: Making local, national, and transnational connections (pp. 85–105). Burlington, VT: Ashgate. Shea, C. (1994). Changes in women’s occupations. In C. McKie (Ed.), Canadian social trends: A Canadian studies reader (Vol. 2, pp. 151–154). Toronto: Thompson Educational Press. Tang, J. (1993). The career attainment of Caucasian and Asian engineers. The Sociological Quarterly, 34, 467–496. Williams, A. P., Domnick, K., & Vayda, E. (1998). Women in medicine: Toward a conceptual understanding of the potential for change. In D. Coburn, C. D’Arcy, & G. M. Torrance (Eds.), Health and Canadian society: Sociological perspectives (3rd ed., pp. 347–358). Toronto, ON: University of Toronto Press.

CHAPTER 7

Major Findings

In the previous chapters, I have provided a detailed account of the four mothers’ encounter with Canadian school system by discussing the intergenerational relations, the parents’ views on Canadian schools, and the interaction with other immigrant parents. The purpose of this chapter is to highlight the major findings of my study and make connections and associations among the three central themes. I will organize the findings according to the three research questions: How do Chinese immigrant parents adapt to the Canadian school system? How does their parenting practice change as a result of their encounter with the Canadian school system? What can Canadian educators learn from Chinese culture and educational philosophy in their interaction with Chinese immigrant students and their parents?

7.1 Chinese Immigrant Parents’ Adjustment to the Canadian Schooling From the content of the previous chapters, it is clear the mothers in my study all experienced variegated and multilayered feelings in their encounter with Canadian schools, which covers the wide gamut of excited anticipation, shock, confusion, loss, reappraisal, and appreciation. The mothers have learned a lot about Canadian culture, and through their interaction with their colleagues either in school or at workplace, they © The Author(s) 2020 X. Chi, Cross-Cultural Experiences of Chinese Immigrant Mothers in Canada, Intercultural Reciprocal Learning in Chinese and Western Education, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-46977-1_7

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have also become the medium for showcasing some Chinese traditions and beliefs which highlight striking differences between Canadian and Chinese schools in terms of classroom setting, teaching style, curriculum content, moral education, and the college recruitment process. It was a learning process for the mothers when their children started their school life in Canada. In the cases of Ying and Yun, their enrollment in Canadian post-secondary institutions gave them first-hand experience with the local schools. The parents in my study tried to get adjusted to the Canadian educational system in the following ways. 7.1.1

Learn About the Local School Culture

The mothers in my study all made efforts to learn about the local schools. The primary source of information was fellow Chinese immigrants. For example, when the mothers attended LINC classes, they asked their classmates and teachers about the local school. Hua, Ying, and Yun all spent time reading their children’s textbooks, so that they could have some idea of the course content. Meiping’s English skill was not as good as the other three mothers, and she enrolled her son Mike in some tutoring classes for English and math. The mothers also tried to learn about the school by talking with their children about their activities at school. Another major source of information was the overseas Chinese websites, where immigrant parents shared their experiences and stories as regards their children’s education in North America. 7.1.2

Extra Chinese Homework

In my study, the mothers made little comment on the content of school courses in the field of arts and humanities, but they were impressed by the rich forms of project work in those courses. The academic language in those courses posed even greater challenge to the parents. For example, the mothers could not compare their children’s history or geography lessons with those taught in Chinese schools. In our conversations and from my observation, the mothers had little idea about the content of courses of arts and humanities. But for science courses, all the mothers tried their best to provide some help and guidance for their children. The formulas and principles used in problem-solving were the same despite the language difference, and the Arabic numbers are the same. The mothers soon found the difference between Canadian and Chinese math and

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became worried about their children’s lack of basic computational skills that seemed to hinder their further engagement with the subject. To compensate for the lack of drill exercise, except for Ying, all three mothers gave their children extra Chinese homework. The mothers brought back math reference books and exercise books from China. 7.1.3

Teacher-Parent Relations

The mothers faced many challenges and difficulties in managing their children’s schooling in Canada, which were mainly caused by the language and culture differences. The mothers all wanted to have more connection with their children’s teachers, but the language barrier rendered this hard to achieve. They also found that the interaction between teachers and parents was different. When they were in China, the teachers in charge of their children’s class would discuss in great detail about their children’s school performance. The teachers would tell the parents about the weak points in their children’s study, and solicit the parents’ support in helping the students. The mothers felt that the teachers in Canada would not openly talk with them about their children’s “problems,” and they could not get much information from the report cards, for it was hard for them to read the underlying meaning in the comments. Also, the mothers were at a loss as to how to get more involved in their children’s school life. As a result, they took a more passive stance. They only attended parentteacher meetings where they could talk with the teacher about their children’s study and showed little interest in other social events that were taking place in the school community. 7.1.4

Dilemma of the Language Use

The mothers all had mixed feelings toward the use of the English and Chinese languages. On the one hand, they wanted their children to acquire the fluency of native speakers in their use of the English language, since they would grow up and pursue a career in Canadian society. But on the other hand, they wanted their children to be able to speak Chinese and have certain knowledge of the Chinese culture. Otherwise, the two generations could not communicate with each other. In the four families, the use of the English language and Chinese language was under constant negotiation and renegotiation. For the younger generation, the English language became their social language, and Chinese was reserved

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for usage among family members. In some social gatherings with other Chinese immigrant families, I saw the younger generation spoke English among themselves and switched to Chinese when addressed by an adult. 7.1.5

Moral Education

Another big challenge for the parents lies in moral education. The Chinese Confucian tradition placed great emphasis on moral education, and many Confucian teachings on moral education became part of the daily language, and a person growing up in the Chinese culture was exposed to such teachings on a daily basis. The four mothers all admitted that they knew little about the moral and civic education in Canadian schools and they felt that they could not find a common ground to appeal to their children when talking about responsibility and duty. They did not know how to respond to such seemingly apathetic phrases as “I don’t care,” or “Whatever.”

7.2 Impact and Influence on Their Parenting Practice As the families settled in Canada, the contact with the local culture and the local school gradually changed the mothers’ views on their children’s education. As a result, all the mothers made changes in their parenting practices. 7.2.1

Attitude Toward Physical Punishment

The mothers all admitted that after they came to Canada, they no longer gave their children physical punishment. When they were in China, spanking was regarded as a useful means for disciplining the children. The mothers received warnings from friends and fellow Chinese immigrants that Canadian society did not tolerate physical punishment of the children. The mothers said that they learned to show more respect to their children. 7.2.2

Critical Thinking

All the mothers were impressed by the emphasis on critical thinking in Canadian schools. They thought that in Chinese schools, students were not encouraged to search for alternative ways, instead, students were

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expected to memorize the correct answers for certain questions. Especially for Ying and Yun, who took courses in the local post-secondary schools, this was a refreshing experience. The mothers were glad to see this difference and encouraged such activities where their children’s critical thinking was developed. For example, for some projects that required originality and creativity, the mothers would be happy if they could be of some help. Sometimes, they would offer to be the first audience for a presentation. 7.2.3

Change in Parental Expectation

The mothers’ expectation for their children’s future careers also underwent some change. Compared with their contemporaries in mainland China, the mothers showed greater flexibility on this issue. As Ying put it, a person in Canada has many ways of receiving post-secondary education, while in China, failure in the college entrance exam usually means the end of school life. The mothers would respect their children’s choice if they did not want to pursue technology- or science-related majors. They felt that the Canadian society showed more tolerance to different kinds of jobs and professions. 7.2.4

Cross-Cultural Mothering/Parenting

I found that the mothers in my study viewed their children’s school experience in Canada with mixed feelings. When they had a close contact with Canadian schools and its educational philosophy, the mothers started to realize how their own educational philosophy was deeply influenced by Confucian teachings. They regularly compared the Chinese and Canadian educational practices and wanted their children to have the best of both systems. But sometimes the children did not understand the cultural implications of this kind of practice, and this might result in intergenerational misunderstanding. For the mothers in my study, I felt that maybe they needed to make more efforts to try to understand the mainstream culture, and the Canadian school culture and norms. From my observation, the mothers had let pass many opportunities to exchange or share ideas and opinions with their children. For example, none of the mothers tried to understand the TV shows that the children were watching. When the children were laughing while watching those shows, the mothers would comment, “Silly, what can be that funny?”.

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7.3

Implications for Canadian Educators

In their interaction with the local school, the mothers in this study constantly compared the school practice with the Chinese schools and began to have new understanding of both the host culture and their heritage culture. When they appreciated some features of the Canadian school, they also started to miss some of the good features in Chinese culture that they used to take for granted. This learning process is an enriching experience for the mothers, and as a result, they wanted their children to be more open and embrace the good features in Chinese culture. An important finding in my research is that the mothers did not have effective communication with the schools and their children because of their lack of knowledge of the local culture. This was partly caused by the language barrier, and the mothers did not know where to get access to the support and help they needed. Another reason was caused by the parents’ lack of commitment to the life in the host country. They did not show much initiative in getting more immersed in the culture of the host country. These findings will shed new light on parent-school relations, and I want to give some advice for educational practitioners and administrators in Canada. 7.3.1

Border Crossing

The Ontario curriculum emphasizes the open attitude toward other cultures. In today’s world, cultural literacy and competence have become an essential skill in both private and public spheres. The educators are reaching out to students from different cultural backgrounds, which actually fit in well with the mothers’ wishes to create a bridge over Chinese and Canadian cultures. My present research could serve as a window into Chinese immigrant students’ family education and their parents’ educational philosophy. Family life plays a significant role in a person’s education. Research in different countries has confirmed the positive impact of family involvement on students’ performance at school. “Beyond increases in learning and higher test scores, research also demonstrates that family involvement benefits students’ social and emotional development, as measured by student behavior, motivation, social competence, and studentteacher and peer relationships (Adams & Christenson, 2000; Palenchar, Vondra, & Wilson, 2001; Sanders, 1998)” (Caspe, 2003, p. 117).

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By learning about the parental practice in Chinese immigrant families, schools could better understand the cultural heritage and the family culture of Chinese immigrant students in the classroom. Also, by learning about Chinese parents’ views and opinions on the school practice, the schools could find ways to invite these parents’ involvement in the school community. The mothers in my study had many questions about Canadian schooling, but they did not know where to look for answers. They tried to adapt to the new environment by making changes in their parental practice. When the teachers learned more about the cultural difference between immigrant students’ family life and school life, they could search for ways to help the students negotiate the two worlds. My research might highlight some issues that were of value to teachers in a multicultural classroom. The less heard voice of Chinese immigrant parents will open new venues for the understanding of cross-cultural experiences and provide new angles for self-reflection. This recalls to my mind a school council activity that I attended in the Sister School project. On this occasion, the Beijing delegation visited the local school. One of the Chinese immigrant parents observed, “I think the teachers here should make more visits to schools in other countries. They were like in a box, and sometimes don’t have the broader picture in their mind.” This is echoed by the comments of one Chinese immigrant student Rick. During one of the class visits paid by one teacher from Beijing, she witnessed such a scene. When the class teacher handed out the homework sheet, the students groaned. The teacher said to the Chinese teacher, “Tell me, do your students act like this when teachers assign homework? I bet they don’t.” The Chinese teacher responded immediately, “Oh, it’s the same.” Rick’s comments were triggered by this exchange of words between the two teachers, “The teachers here have some misconceptions about school practice in China…Some teacher would say, ‘I am so patient with you, and you do not behave. If you were in China, your teacher would give you physical punishment.’” Hearing this, the Chinese teacher said, “Well, the teacher might be joking. There is no physical punishment in my school and even time-out is not allowed, for the parents will complain to the school authority.” As the French philosopher Rousseau has stated, “Reason and judgment come slowly, prejudices flock to us in crowds…” (1921, p. 123). Many subliminal messages which in fact contain cultural stereotypes insinuate themselves into our system of belief without our conscious awareness of it.

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Outreach programs toward immigrant parents would be a good way to get the parents more involved in their children’s school life and provide the parents with opportunities to learn about the local culture, and the different beliefs behind certain practice. In the cases of Ying and Yun, who pursued further study in Canadian schools, they reflected on features of the school that might have escaped Hua and Meiping’s attention. For example, Ying complained about the course assignment that might put a student of minority background in a disadvantageous position. As Caspe (2003) has put it, Outreach encompassed face-to-face meetings, materials on ways to help children at home, and telephoning when there were problems and when there were no problems. Further, outreach and study of children’s family life may lead teachers to better know the cultures from which their students emerge, allowing them to integrate these family funds of knowledge into their curricula. (p. 118)

I think for schools, the first step in getting Chinese parents more involved in the school community would be to have information sessions on Canadian schools. The Chinese parents in my study were keen to be involved in their children’s study. Projects that involved parents’ participation would be a good way for the parents to learn more about their children’s school life. For example, the teachers could ask the students to interview their parents on certain topics, or maybe the parents could tell some stories of Chinese mythology, and the students could translate the stories into English, and share them with their classmates. This way, the Chinese students would feel that their heritage culture was represented in the curriculum. Another way would be to encourage teachers who are bilingual or trilingual to use the languages in their teaching. Goldstein (2003) pointed out that despite the challenges and contentions facing the legitimization of multilingualism in school settings, it is crucial for teachers and researchers to be aware of the benefits this strategy will bring about for ESOL students. What’s more, it is also a great waste of resources if a bilingual or trilingual teacher could not take advantage of their cultural and linguistic assets to better address the needs of students who struggle with English. In this sense, the teachers and parents are all acting as border crossers. The mothers in my study were eager to get involved in their children’s school life. Their reflection on their own school experience in China gave them dual perspectives on the issue of schooling. Their

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willingness to make adjustment in their parenting practice to best suit their children’s education in Canada indicates that they were consciously and subconsciously absorbing ideas and values from both cultures. What’s more, cultural exchanges provide food for thought in the least expected places. In the Sister School project, when the Beijing delegation visited one of the local schools, the principal introduced her student population as 95% Cantonese. It was later clarified by a teacher at the school that the principal could not tell the difference between students who speak Cantonese and Mandarin. In fact, the student population is 95% Chinese. This small detail shows the local educators still have a lot to learn about the cultural heritage of the immigrant students. In this school, many students are from poor families, and their parents worked several jobs to make ends meet. The parents cared very much about their children’s education, but there wasn’t much parental involvement in school activities, since they were busy making a living. In order to get immigrant parents involved in school activities, the endeavor to learn more about the immigrant students’ heritage culture by school administrators and teachers will serve as a bridge for mutual understanding and appreciation. Such exchange activities also provide opportunity for critical thinking. The teachers and students will judge for themselves the values behind certain customs and traditions instead of being fed with certain stereotypical ideas concerning China and her culture. It goes beyond propaganda and is presented with tangible flavor, smell, sound, and image. It definitely helps broaden students’ vision and helps develop the critical faculty. Reciprocal learning arises from contact and exchange. In the Sister School project, the visit to China helped Canadian teachers achieve a better understanding of the mindset of Chinese immigrant parents. One vice principal talked about the difference in schools’ physical set-up. “So here you don’t see any walls and gates, so parents are shocked when we called them and said ‘well, your child is not attending classes.’ They said ‘oh, I dropped him off this morning.’ ‘No, he is not attending classes.’ So at first teachers were surprised why parents were shocked. When you got to China and got to see it, you know, school campuses, you realize once the kid has gone in, you can’t come out.” And there is another layer of meaning to the shocked reaction of the parents. Once the child has been dropped off onto the campus, wall or no wall, it becomes the school’s responsibility. The principals have similar feelings and make observations on this phenomenon, “I think culturally they believe the school has a job

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to do, and they trust that the school is doing its job.” The principals would like to view parents as partners in their children’s schooling, while the immigrant parents draw a clear line between school and home. Once their children are on the precinct of school, they can wash their hands of any responsibility. Apparently, there is a lot to be learned about both sides. 7.3.2

Exemplar Practice of Reciprocal Learning

Another crucial measure that could be enforced would be the incorporation of cultural content into the curriculum. I want to share some of the exemplary practice carried out by the practitioners in the Sister School project. For example, in one of the Toronto schools, Grade 6 Social Studies course includes content on Canada and her trading partners. Many of the teachers “would introduce the trading partnership with China, and talk about how Chinese business, and Canadian business are communicating, and what kind of items were selling to China, and vice versa.” This practice arouses students’ interest to learn more about China’s culture. For students in lower grades, when they learn about community, the teachers will talk about different cultures. Some of the teachers will invite parents to the class to talk about celebration in different cultures. In another school, the teacher encourages students to develop cultural projects. Some Chinese students chose to do research on a certain period of Chinese history. By learning about the history, the students themselves get to know their heritage culture. In another example, the teacher instructed the students to study about the terracotta warriors, and they went to see the exhibit on the terracotta warriors at the Royal Ontario Museum. They did research on the Internet and wrote stories about this archaeological miracle in the history of human civilization. They also studied cultural difference by looking at mythologies. According to the teacher, “we are taking our First Nations’ mythology and Chinese mythology, and studying the two of them and seeing how they are similar and how they are different. And we are talking about different tales in mythology and how they influence, like how they explain things.” In mythology, we actually can find the archetype of a certain culture. It is the ideal medium for studying the culture and getting to know about people’s beliefs and views of the world. Dialogue could be built around such topics.

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In the Sister School project, one of the teachers from Toronto went to visit a sister school in Shanghai. He was impressed by the fact that in the school he visited, they brought in an artist to teach art to students. Students benefit greatly from the professional expertise of the artist, and their works will be showcased in the school building. Inspired by this visit, in the art lessons he taught, the Canadian teacher showed students Chinese artistic work and noted that in traditional Chinese painting, there are mountains and waterfalls. The teacher chose the renowned Chinese painter Dong Yuan who lived in the tenth century and studied him together with the Canadian painters the Group of Seven. The students were asked to find out information on these artists—their life story and artistic style. One may notice that the artistic expression and the brushwork in traditional Chinese painting differ sharply from the western oil painting. In fact, the difference between Chinese and Canadian paintings as far as philosophy, technique, and artistic ideal are concerned could be an ideal topic for the discussion of the cultural differences, and reciprocal learning. In the concluding volume of the science fiction series which began with the Hugo-award winning The Three Body Problem, Liu (2016) depicts ingeniously the difference between traditional Chinese and western painting techniques. The book contains several fairy tales which were composed with encrypted messages for earth people. One of the pivotal points in the plotline lies in the fact that one of the characters in one fairy tale defies the perspective rule and so looms high and large instead of being a tiny spot from a far distance. The evil character who had the incredible skill of killing people by painting them into the picture fails to capture this one character. The painter named Needle-eye thus explained his failed attempt to the king, “The principles of perspective dictate that objects farther away appear smaller than those up close. I am a painter trained in Western traditions, and Western painting follows the rules of perspective. I cannot paint him.” He pointed to the Eastern style painting whose content was described in the following words by the author, “The scroll showed an elegant, ethereal landscape where the negative space, the emptiness, resembled water and fog. The style contrasted sharply with the colorful, solid oil paintings nearby” (p. 348). When one appreciates the traditional Chinese painting, qi is emphasized, which is a quality that eludes specific verbal expression, and can only be felt. I had some translation working experience in such fields as arts, business, and literature. I find it the most challenging and difficult to translate art reviews, especially when the article describes traditional Chinese art. In many cases,

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I would make use of explanatory notes to clarify on the terms and concepts, which rely very much on an understanding of Chinese philosophy and lay bare my repertoire of English vocabulary. The story itself provides an intriguing angle for pondering on the philosophy and artistic rules behind the creative work, and how we are conditioned to view the world through certain filters such that we are not aware of the alternatives. This again proves how essential reciprocal learning is for formulating a holistic view of the world. It is the sure way for a culture to grow and flourish. This also reminds us how important for curriculum developers to provide enough space and resources for teachers to get engaged in cultural topics. Reciprocal learning has appeal to teachers and students as well when the cultural content could be built into the curriculum, and enrich its scope. It is crucial to try to find common ground for exchange activities and sharing of ideas. For instance, the environment group in two sister schools intended to share their project work. The Canadian school environmental club shared their tips on energy saving with their counterpart in China. In another example, one principal in the Sister School project showed a film named A Day in China to her students in the gym, and she was greatly impressed by the students’ reaction toward the culturerelated scenes, “They started, Ahhh, as the first time they actually see it in the school setting everything about Chinese…For me, even watch the kids be so in awe that the culture is part of the culture here, and you can even talk about it and see it in a school setting.” Another piece of advice from this principal on potential ways of cooperation between Canadian and Chinese schools strikes me as echoing the three-way dancing circle, “Maybe they could help us with something that we don’t have. And it doesn’t have to be we are the givers. We could be the receiver. We could receive something from them, right? It could be three-way to identify the needs and strength.” Pop culture is another ideal platform for this kind of dialogue. Because of globalization, the spread of culture is also made easier, and young people all over the world are exposed to the same works of art. The movies could be a starter for discussion. The response to the same work could highlight the difference in world views. If more schools in Canada are engaged with this type of reciprocal learning, both immigrant students and their parents could gain a better cultural experience.

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Challenges Facing Reciprocal Learning

To achieve reciprocal learning across cultures, both parents and school teachers are faced with new challenges. In his ethnographical study of handicraft papermakers in rural Sichuan, Eyferth (2009) notes an interesting phenomenon. In the efforts to spread the papermaking skill to other regions, the craftsmen have noticed the influence of local culture on the adoption of the skills. For one technician who tried to train the farmers in ShanXi province into competent papermakers in the 1970s, the teaching of the skill in itself is the easiest part. Usually, it takes around five weeks for the locals to master the core skills of papermaking. What they lacked is the special quality necessary for carrying out the procedure. It is the tenacity in work and the rigid adherence to specifications and rules. The farmers who were used to a more relaxed and laidback working ethic obviously were mal-adjusted to the new working rationale, and the dissemination campaign failed. Quite a few people who got involved in such efforts attributed this special quality to the “the soil and water (shuitu) of the paper districts” (p. 135), which are deemed as essential for the thriving of the industry. This principle also applies in the case of cross-cultural reciprocal learning. Some of the practice which seems advantageous and bears fruitful results in one culture does not necessarily thrive in another culture. This is a reminder for educational practitioners to go beyond the cover story and try to grasp the cultural connotation of certain practice. Without the proper soil and water, some well-intended action may turn sour. To complicate the matter, sometimes the proper soil and water is hard to capture and may in many cases even elude the observation of the insiders. In the Sister School project, all the Canadian principals joined the cross-cultural exchanges with the conviction and goodwill that it is crucial for educators to understand the students’ heritage culture to provide the best educational experience. One of the principals observed in the interview that some Canadian practitioners had misconception about Chinese parents’ attitude when they complained about the lack of involvement of Chinese parents in their children’s school life. She believes that such seemingly apathetic attitude should be interpreted in a different way, “Chinese parents respect the school so much, they don’t think they should interfere. The majority, I’m not saying everybody, the majority believed that the school is doing the best they can to help their kids. They don’t really question, Chinese parents rarely question the teaching methodology, or

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the teaching style. They just trust the teachers.” This is a refreshing point for me because when I investigate the parent-school relation in my current research, I focus nearly solely on the language barrier and never approach it from this angle. I take parents and students’ respect for schools and teachers for granted. Once pointed out by the Canadian educators, I start to ask myself the following question: What are the other blind spots in my research? A new factor that affects reciprocal learning across cultures will be the exponential increase of the internet, which brings with it the greatest challenges and opportunities like the sword of Damocles. The way students learn undergoes drastic changes. In my own classroom, whenever I mention a new concept, an author’s name, or a book, students will immediately check them up on their mobile phone. This seems to be an age that defies boundaries and provides students with abundant opportunities for picking up new knowledge and new ideas. Living in such an environment, we are overwhelmed with information, and I sometimes feel myself like information hoarder. Regrettably, information on the hard drive is just like the “inert ideas” warned against by Whitehead (1968), which “are merely received into the mind without being utilized, or tested, or thrown into fresh combinations” (p. 1). Superfluity of information about other cultures that is not properly assimilated into one’s knowledge base can have adverse effect and engender new prejudices. From the cultural exchange activities that I have attended over the years, I have come to the realization that there has always been the keenness and goodwill to learn from each other. But for reciprocal learning, this is just the beginning step. The difficulty lies in how to sustain such goodwill by having in-depth exchanges that go beyond lip service and engage in dialogues between cultures in the real sense. When I resumed teaching at my former university, one of my colleagues claimed that I must have so much to share with the students since I have lived in the Canadian culture for so many years. I myself had the same feeling, and I couldn’t wait to share my observations on Canadian educational philosophy and culture with my students. I soon got a reality check when I was challenged by my students. They would make such comments as, “The Canadian school practice you shared with us is really impressive, but how could it be translated into our Chinese context? Does it have any practical significance in our milieu?” Such remarks again highlight the challenges in reciprocal learning. It has to resonate with one’s native experience to make changes possible.

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In the Sister School project, the principals view exchange activities as a two-way learning, where the Chinese students will learn about the Canadian values, and Canadian students about the Chinese culture. They want Canadian students to pick up such positive Chinese values as humility, respect, diligence, self-discipline, the importance of family, etc. From the word “positive,” it becomes clear that the reciprocal learning process is also a process of judgment and selection, which requires openness, experience, and reflection. They want it to be a deeper cultural experience which goes beyond such items as Chinese food, and chopsticks. It should be “value exchange.” This selective learning rings true with me. We need to guard ourselves against the pitfall of cultural relativism, especially in cultural exchanges. There are certain traditions and customs that cannot be upheld because of their long history.

References Adams, K. C., & Christenson, S. L. (2000). Trust and the family-school relationship: Examination of parent-teacher differences in elementary and secondary grades. Journal of School Psychology, 38, 477–497. Caspe, M. (2003). How teachers come to understand families. The School Community Journal, 13(1), 115–131. Eyferth, J. (2009). Eating rice from bamboo roots: The social history of a community of handicraft papermakers in rural Sichuan, 1920–2000. Cambridge: Harvard University Asia Center. Goldstein, T. (2003). Teaching and learning in a multilingual school: Choices, risks, and dilemmas. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. Liu, C. (2016). Death’s end (K. Liu, Trans.) New York: Tor Books. Palenchar, D. R., Vondra, J. I., & Wilson, J. A. (2001, April). Parent involvement in the home and at school as predictors of early school functioning in an urban, low-income sample. Paper presented at the Annual Meeting of the American Educational Research Association, Seattle, WA. Rousseau, J. (1921). Emile, or education (B. Foxley, Trans.). New York: E.P. Dutton. Sanders, M. G. (1998). The effects of school, family and community support on the academic achievement of African American adolescents. Urban Education, 33, 385–409. Whitehead, A. N. (1968). The aims of education & other essays. New York: Free Press.

Conclusion

My research focuses on immigrant parents from mainland China, but it is not an isolated case with Chinese immigrants. In a multicultural society composed of people from various ethnic backgrounds, the question of bicultural identity has its significance for every immigrant in Canada. My research only provides a glimpse into the life of the four families, and I can imagine that when their children enter college or university, the mothers will have new observations on post-secondary education in Canada and how it is different from their own university life in China. My research is based in the metropolitan center of Toronto. It is very important to conduct research on Chinese immigrant parents’ experience with Canadian schooling in other Canadian urban centers or in rural areas. As is shown by the literature review on Chinese immigrant parents’ encounter with Canadian schooling, much research has been done on Chinese immigrant parents’ high expectation of their children’s academic success, the lack of involvement in schoolwork and lack of communication with teachers. The study shows that parent-school relations require all parties involved to be border crossers. Also, the immigrant parents need to be actively learning about the mainstream culture. By having a close-up shot into the daily life of the four Chinese immigrant mothers, we got a chance to look deeper into their settlement process in Canada— their reflection of their life choice, their views on their children’s course © The Editor(s) (if applicable) and The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Nature Switzerland AG 2020 X. Chi, Cross-Cultural Experiences of Chinese Immigrant Mothers in Canada, Intercultural Reciprocal Learning in Chinese and Western Education, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-46977-1

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content, their interaction with their children, other immigrant parents, and the schools. By using narrative inquiry, I recreate vividly moments in the mothers’ lives when they were nostalgic of their youth days in China, when they were missing their loved ones at home, when they were admiring certain features of the Canadian culture, or when they were disappointed at the lack of homework. We could also see how the stories in each family were evolving as they were faced with new situations in life. From my contact with the four families, I feel that a lot of work could be done to help facilitate the settlement process of newcomer families. Many of the well-designed and well-intended settlement programs have not been taken full advantage of. Some English websites contain very useful tips on Canadian school practice in many different languages for newcomer families, but the mothers in my study did not make use of such resources, for they did not know of the websites. They consulted other Chinese immigrant parents or surfed the overseas Chinese websites for such tips. Effective support for immigrant parents from the community and the school could be a topic for further research. Also, from my research, I found that the parents knew little about the moral education and civic education their children received in the local school, which caused one major gap between the two generations in their life views and worldviews. The parents were deeply influenced by Confucian educational philosophy and moral education and were applying those principles in their parenting practice. To achieve fruitful parent-school relations, it is important to share with immigrant parents the philosophy and beliefs behind the school practice, and to learn about the parents’ views and beliefs. The principle of reciprocal learning is key in cross-cultural exchanges (Xu, 2011; Xu & Connelly, 2008). Only by achieving this, can all parties involved benefit from such relations. Through my research, the teachers get a VR experience of their students’ family life and get to know the sources of certain attitudes and demeanor. This will help them make informed decisions in their interaction with students. Teachers could incorporate some culturally related contents and activities into the curriculum. By engaging in some crosscultural dialogue, teachers, together with students, could embark on the quest for knowledge that is not confined within one paradigm. By looking at different cultures and philosophies, students naturally will develop their critical thinking. They will learn to look at the same phenomenon from different perspectives, and the good habit of scholarship will be forged by consulting different sources.

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Toward the end of this book, I want to refer back to the question that I asked myself during my PhD study at OISE/UT, “Is this worth it?” All these years, I was asked this question by family members, friends, colleagues, and students time and again. As a university teacher, when students consult me over the next move in their life, especially when they plan to pursue further study abroad, they often ask me this question. I feel I am in a much better position to answer this question now. Last year, I won the educator prize at my university and was interviewed by student reporters about my educational philosophy and teaching practice. When I trace the trajectory of my growth over the years, I find that reciprocity stands out as a keyword. It defines my professional role as a teacher who teaches both English language and curriculum studies courses. I welcome questions and challenges from my students, for it is the best way to unravel the cultural code embedded in the texts. Students like to ask such questions as “Why do we have to learn about the theories and practice in other countries? How is it relevant to our experience? I don’t see how this practice could be carried out under the current frame of policies.” Again, there is the strong sense of finding the elixir which will connect all the problems in quest of new methods and knowledge. Reality is complicated where constant compromise and negotiation are usually the norm. Teaching practice has such an innate complicated nature: It is public and an ongoing open discussion over a certain subject, yet at the same time, it is loaded with idiosyncratic features that only concern the teacher and students in one classroom. Miller (2000) stated, “an educated person is someone whose innate being has been led out, enticed and appreciated. Education is not at all the same as teaching. It is accomplished by love and faith in the very soul of the child who stands before us crammed with unmanifested talent” (p. vii). My lived experience in Canada as an international student has helped me become a more reflective practitioner. I can better appreciate the power of the native language in the learning of the second language. It is not a simple choice of language use, but deliberate efforts in promoting reciprocal learning between cultures. With the help of native language, students can achieve deeper understanding of the topics under discussion. By switching between two languages, students get to better appreciate the cultural connotations embedded in language. It will be the worst scenario if we feel a person has been converted by another culture.

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Now my answer to this question will definitely be “Of course, it’s worth it.” And another change that takes place in me via all these crosscultural deliberation and experience is that I could look at this question with a more detached stance. Why do we need to be so calculating about all our endeavor and want the full value return? Take the dive and enjoy the wonder that comes with it. Make it worth it.

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Index

A academic performance, 10, 88, 132, 141, 154, 166, 189 acculturation, 7, 29, 55, 66, 69, 70, 72, 77, 100, 164, 184 Anderson, Benedict, 66, 71, 83, 84 astronaut family, 4, 61, 62 B bilingual, 74, 91, 204 border crossing border pedagogy, 29–31 border pedagogy Giroux, 30 C Canadian citizen, 62, 71 Chen, Yinke, 149 Chinese culture, 2, 7, 11–13, 17, 18, 20–22, 24, 27, 30, 55, 67, 70, 73, 83, 84, 91, 96, 98, 102, 104, 105, 126, 127, 133, 141, 149,

155, 163, 167, 171, 174, 179, 184, 197, 199, 200, 202, 211 collectivism, 22 filial piety, 25, 107, 162 implicit culture, 99 Chinese math, 125, 152–156, 198 Hume, 137 Chinese painting, 207 Chinese schools, 13, 125–128, 131, 135, 136, 141, 144, 145, 151, 154, 164, 166, 171, 173, 185, 198, 200, 202, 208 civil service examination, 134 college recruitment, 13, 43, 48, 187, 198 competition, 2, 3, 26, 29, 57, 64, 109, 132, 134, 135, 139, 141, 162, 184–186 gifted, 64, 185 Confucianism, 18–20, 115, 164 Confucius, 18–20, 96, 103, 115, 127, 137, 155, 170

© The Editor(s) (if applicable) and The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Nature Switzerland AG 2020 X. Chi, Cross-Cultural Experiences of Chinese Immigrant Mothers in Canada, Intercultural Reciprocal Learning in Chinese and Western Education, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-46977-1

231

232

INDEX

critical thinking, 22, 103, 138, 174, 200, 205, 214 cross-cultural, 2, 7, 11–13, 17, 21, 39, 52, 53, 65, 86, 114, 140, 203, 209, 214, 216 curriculum, 1, 13, 31, 36, 53, 79, 93, 128, 136, 149, 153, 154, 157, 159, 198, 202, 204, 206, 208, 214, 215 D discrimination, 75, 81, 85, 141 E ESL, 3, 29, 89 ethical relationship, 25, 103, 181 extra homework, 141 eye exercise, 98 Eyferth, J., 209 F family system, 20, 24, 25 Fortress Besieged, 59 fu ze ren, 162 G gaokao, 3, 113, 144 Geertz, C., 36, 38 H heritage culture, 31, 93, 114, 155, 174, 202, 204–206, 209 hidden curriculum, 157 Appe, 158 home-school, 165, 174 homework, 29, 43, 45, 64, 67, 80, 86, 102, 105, 125, 128, 135, 140–143, 150, 151, 153, 164, 169, 199, 203, 214

humility, 133, 211

I identity, 7, 8, 30, 69–74, 79, 159, 213 intergenerational, 7, 68, 69, 115 interpersonal guanxi, 22, 25, 26 Hessler, 26, 115 interpreter, 7, 48, 82, 86, 97, 129, 147, 170

J Japanese, 20, 72, 73, 75, 79, 152, 173, 174 Benedict, 173

L language barrier, 81 language Use, 199 Liang, S., 8, 20–26, 41, 102, 103, 107, 167, 181 The Spirit of Chinese Culture, 20 LINC, 43, 82, 85, 198

M Mandarin, 43, 45, 52, 64, 68, 72, 75, 92, 93, 95, 96, 154, 180, 205 minority, 70, 141, 189, 204 monologue, 66, 68 moral education, 157, 200

N narrative inquiry, 12, 35–37, 50, 52, 53, 214 Connelly, 1, 35–37, 50–53, 214 niulang , 5, 58

INDEX

O OISE, 1, 3, 37, 39, 40, 66, 70, 83, 84, 88, 90, 97, 126, 136, 160, 168, 187, 215 Outreach, 204 P Parental involvement, 30 parent-child, 13, 79, 96, 103, 104 pedagogical competence, 30 van Manen, 30 peer pressure, 47, 113, 165, 179, 184, 194 physical punishment, 105, 200 PISA, 144 Plato, 22 Pu Songling , 140 R Reciprocal Learning, 1, 3 reciprocal learning, 206, 209 reciprocity, 48 research, 51 Rousseau, J., 102, 186, 203 Emile, 102, 186 S school culture, 28, 69, 119, 128, 130, 131, 164, 175, 201 service examination, 132, 133 settlement, 6, 7, 11, 38, 52, 61, 89, 97, 116, 180, 213, 214 shaming practice, 19, 111, 113 Shijing Xu, 53, 144

233

Sister School project, 12, 65, 74, 79, 95, 98, 105, 126, 131, 133, 138, 141, 153, 154, 156, 169, 174, 185, 203, 205–209, 211 skilled worker, 42, 81 social gathering, 3, 24, 75, 77, 78, 81, 118, 183, 184, 188, 200 social services, 105, 180

T Taiwan, 9, 78 The Chronicles of the Three Kingdoms , 149 The Dream of the Red Chamber, 106 Tiger Mother, 101, 111 Chua, 28, 101, 107–109, 112 traffic, 26, 80 translation, 40, 43, 59, 96, 156, 167, 207

V virtual community, 13, 194

W Weighing the Elephant , 146, 149, 150 Cao Chong, 148, 149 Western culture, 2, 12, 17, 22, 23, 67, 139, 192 Whitehead, A.N., 210

Y Yu Wen, 147