...And Pine For What Is Not

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Sun D 1MDde wu born in the coacaJ town of ••rneciri, in MahanshtrL Her l.t • • ·a Jaw1er wbo lr 1y • his to bea>me one too. But the Quit India mo~ jut after 51,oe left scbool aad - nteral ml1 in 1942, wl-sbe,... 100G Ul90hed in die fttomtioaary side of the &eecM11 ltl e After nearly o ring nH1gh,, sbt- spot a yar 11ncl r, IfPB•acl, malring bc-11hl &wt• rec ipc1 in boob. md IC1 ing II an ope, ator for tbe uade, pN•ad ndio a.. twom.

An mterelt to tuf+ich sbe a-aid devote mo~ ti,r■-e after India • h4 ,eel ·oclcp; ndeace •• tbf. 11age- .,I.id, ;,. one wa, oranN!f+« has na;+aiwd • L--life..,.,.. • 5be ~ eel•m many ra-T-. - 1 - w•oomg • • • a mnstant m IICI' ever smce. prrus for her acriog, mdfouoded a theatre 0011■p1oy •Aoamika', tbrough which she did ec1i-eiri111eot.al work such • her cme-wo111n shnw R.,,fr1,.t• jij.,I,.;. Married to tbeattt. personality and man of letters P.L D r1hpancJe, she ha acted in playl w1itteo by him, including S...J.r ~ HonM, adaf1ted from tbe love story of Elizabeth Ba• •dt ad Robert Brow 11i11g.. m wl■:«:h she played tbe lad character modelled oa Elizabeth Bat iett.

She bas throughout bNm involved in the editing and prodactica of her l,ivsbaad's many boo~ Her r,wn first book .Ab, MM,ol,.,, Tm (1990), tbe original Marathi work on which dus tnaslarion is bard, Im won her a 011mber of pn:,rigi0111 literary awards. Gauri Deshpande (no relation), who tnaslated dus book, is the ■•rhor of many books of poems, short stories and novels. Her pot,s+s. articles and mmsive traaslarioa, from Marathi have appeared in books md

periodicals at home and abroad \

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... And Pine For at ls Not

Suneeta Deshpande

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tran;slated from the Mar~thi by Gauri Deshpande

Disha Books

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2- 5' ft33 J?t:f~

DishaBoob m imprint of O, ie111 Lmgmm I wited ORIENT LONGMAN LIMITED

R11•••0ffi.a 3-6-272 J-Jimay11oapr.. 1-1:,der~bad 500 029 (A.P.), India

OtherO/f,ai Xarnani Marg, Ballard Estate. Bc@nbay 400 038 17 Cbittarmjan Avenue, Calcutta 700 072 • 160 Anna Sa)ai, Madras 600 002 1/24 &al Ali Road, New Delhi 110 002 80/1 Maht101a Gandhi Road. Banpl,:,re 560 001 365 Shahid Napr, Bln1baneshwar 751 007 41/316 •Gour Mohan', Ambady l.aoe, Chiuoor Road, Emakulm, 682 011 S. C. Goiwami Road, Pa11bazar, Guwabati 781 001 3-6-272 Hirnayarnapr, Hyderabad SOO 029 28/31, 15 Asbok Marg. La,clm,,.., 226 001 City Corre A1ho~ Govincl Mitn Read, Patna 800 004

0 Orient lflngman Limited 1995 Series cover design format 0 Orient U\klgtnan Limited 1995

ISBN 81 250 0477 7 Pbototypod l,y •

OSDATA, Hyderabad SOO 029

PrintaJ in Indili .i BINDU ART, Bombay 400 011

P,J,lish«J l,y Orient Longman T,imit.ed, JCarnani Marg, Bornbay 400 038

Topoe,ns •

For a lifetime ofcom-panionship

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I have understood - for I have lived some things bad and some things good.

This is not an autobiography. This is an unrEStrained ramhle through memories. Like a bird, flitting in a moment from branch to branch. From anywhere to anywhere. Without direction. But always keeping in touch with my own invisible lifeline. Many of the people I have met in real life are not to be found here. It's not that rve forgotten them, but that I didn't happen to ma:t them Qn this expedition. And even those ,I did m